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English
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Part 62 of Taskmaster Collection
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Anonymous
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Published:
2024-12-02
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1,674
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Under the Mistletoe

Anonymous

Summary:

“You know, I very rarely ever wish that I could try one of the tasks,” Greg said in a casual sort of way that instead came across extremely pointed.

Still, Alex decided to humour him, at least for the moment. “I’d imagine not,” he said, aware as he was of Greg’s rather fragile confidence and his need to look silly under very strict terms that he alone decided.

Greg nodded again. “I think I’d’ve liked to have a go at the mistletoe one.”

Notes:

Had this vaguely planned months ago and in a rare show of restraint, managed to hold off actually writing it until the holiday season actually kicked off. I did switch around one small detail based on some intel about this year's NYT, but I'll leave it to you to watch it in a few weeks and guess what ;)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“All right, Alex,” Greg said, tapping his cards on his knee, clearly in a good mood. Doing the New Year’s Treat was always a different kind of fun from recording a full series, and some years were better than others, but Alex was relieved that this year’s appeared to be going well. “Let’s have another task.”

“Yes, Greg,” Alex said. “And given the time of year, we thought it’d be fun to have an extra festive task.”

He tapped on his iPad and the VT started rolling. As usual, one by one the contestants entered the living room, where they were confronted with the task on the table, along with a single Hershey’s Kiss and a thimble. “Fuck is this?” David James muttered as he glanced between the items, his brow furrowed, while Melanie Blatt lit up at seeing the Kiss. 

“Oo, chocolate,” she said. “Might save that for later.”

The VT cut between the contestants opening the task and then reading it aloud. “Give Alex a kiss under the mistletoe,” Martin Lewis read.

“You have fifteen minutes,” Sue Johnston continued.

“Fastest wins,” Melanie said, while David finished, “Your time starts now.”

Hannah Fry blinked up at the camera, her forehead creased. “But why is there a thimble?” she asked. 

In the studio, the audience clapped and laughed as Greg scowled at Alex. “Festive?” he repeated.

“Yes, Greg,” Alex said, as innocently as he could.

“Accosting these poor people is what counts as festive to you, is it?”

Alex cleared his throat. “Of course, we would never—”

“Don’t lump me into this, mate,” Greg said, scribbling something on his card. “I had nothing to do with this, and I will happily tell Channel 4’s legal department the same thing.”

The audience laughed loudly and Alex went pink even as he continued doggedly, “I would never force a contestant into physical contact with me, which is why we provided—”

“Oh, Christ,” Melanie interrupted, covering her mouth with both hands, her eyes wide and horrified. “I just now figured out why the chocolate was there.”

That set the audience off again and Alex had to cover his own mouth with his iPad as he tried and failed to tamp down his laughter. Greg also looked like he was struggling not to laugh, and after a moment, Alex managed to finish, “Which is why we provided them with a Hershey’s Kiss and a thimble, which, of course, is a reference to—”

“Peter Pan,” Greg said. “I have at least some basic knowledge of classic literature.”

Alex nodded. “Must be nice to read some stories almost as old as you are.”

“Oi!”

“So with the kiss provided for them—” Alex gave Melanie a look as the audience laughed before continuing, “our contestants only needed to find some mistletoe under which to give me a kiss.”

Greg just shook his head. “Naughty boy,” he scolded. “It’s a cry for attention, is it? Not getting enough at home from your wife?” Alex waved sheepishly at the camera as Greg straightened. “She and I will coordinate a punishment later,” he said. “Now, let’s see how our contestants got on with it.”

“Yes, Greg,” Alex said, unable to resist adding, “and in at least one case, got off with me.”

Melanie groaned loudly and the audience laughed as Alex again hit play.

The task unfolded with the expected chaos and carnage. David was the most creative, which is to say, he lost his entire mind in the kind of way that had Greg wiping tears of laughter from his cheeks, and made what he called a ‘missile-toe’ by gaffer taping a plastic toy rocket he found in the shed to a skeleton’s foot. Everyone else stuck to somewhat more traditional methods. Martin wrote the words ‘THE MISTLETOE’ on a bit of paper, while Hannah took the more scientific approach of trying to sketch out what mistletoe actually looked like. Sue was the only one who found the actual sprig of mistletoe that had been hung in the secret room off the back of the caravan. Melanie grabbed some of the assorted fake greenery being used as decoration, not recognising that she’d grabbed holly instead of mistletoe before making Alex kneel down so she could hold the holly over his head as she then gave him a smacking kiss on the lips.

Strangely, Greg seemed to take an abnormal amount of pleasure in disqualifying her.

And all throughout, Alex could feel Greg’s eyes on him, and he found himself blushing in a way that had very little to do with Melanie Blatt snogging him on terrestrial television.

At the end of the recording, Alex stayed on stage to do a quick debrief with the Andys before finally heading back to his dressing room. He wasn’t entirely surprised to find Greg waiting for him, still in his Taskmaster suit, meaning he’d been lingering backstage the entire time, a thought that made Alex’s suit feel suddenly two sizes too small.

“Good show,” Alex said by way of greeting.

Greg didn’t reply, instead studying Alex for a long enough moment that Alex felt himself flush again. 

Then Greg smiled, that small, private smile he used when it was just the two of them sharing a joke. “It was a good show,” he agreed, cocking his head, just slightly. “You were brilliant as always.”

Alex blinked. Greg was generous with compliments and praise, but never quite like this, and it raised his suspicions immediately. “Thank you?”

Greg just nodded slowly. “Great tasks, too.”

And that seemed to be getting more to the heart of the matter. “Mm,” Alex hummed in vague agreement, still waiting for the shoe to drop.

“You know, I very rarely ever wish that I could try one of the tasks,” Greg said in a casual sort of way that instead came across extremely pointed.

Still, Alex decided to humour him, at least for the moment. “I’d imagine not,” he said, aware as he was of Greg’s rather fragile confidence and his need to look silly under very strict terms that he alone decided.

Greg nodded again. “I think I’d’ve liked to have a go at the mistletoe one.”

Alex stared at him. “Would you,” he said, too dumbfounded by how the conversation had gone that he couldn’t even be bothered to pitch it as a question.

“Yeah,” Greg said, and Alex was suddenly all too aware that only a foot of space separated them, his heart beating double time in his chest. “I think I would’ve nailed it.”

Alex swallowed. “Greg—”

Before he could even choke anything out, Greg reached into his inside jacket pocket, emerging with a small but unmistakable sprig of winter greenery. “Oh, what’s this?”

Alex eyed the mistletoe warily. “Where did you get that?”

“Props department,” Greg said casually, twirling the stem of the mistletoe between his fingers. “I very nearly almost scrapped what I’d written for the outro, thought about doing this as a gag instead.”

Alex glanced up at him. “But you didn’t.”

Greg shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?” Alex blurted, hurrying to add, “It– it would’ve been funny.”

“Exactly,” Greg said, something sharp in his tone, though his eyes were soft as he continued, “It would have been just another in the long line of things you and I do on camera for the bit.”

“Yes?” Alex said after a moment, because it seemed like Greg was waiting for him to say something.

For just a second, Alex thought he saw something like disappointment flicker across Greg’s face before it evened out. “Maybe I’m tired of it just being a bit.”

Alex’s mouth went dry. “Greg—”

For a second time, Greg interrupted him by reaching into his jacket pocket, but this time, whatever he dug out he kept in his palm where Alex couldn’t quite see it. “I like to think I’ve never forced you into physical contact with me, either.”

Alex shook his head. “You haven’t.”

Greg nodded and opened his hand, revealing a thimble resting in the centre of his palm. “And I’m certainly not going to start now,” he said, his voice low. “But I am setting this as a task for you.” He searched Alex’s expression before holding both the thimble and mistletoe out to him. “You decide what you want to give me. If you give me the thimble, we carry on just as we always have. Otherwise…”

Alex’s hand closed around the thimble. “Yes, Greg.”

Greg nodded, once, shoving his hands into his pockets and taking a few deliberate steps backwards. “You have ten minutes,” he told Alex, still with that low tone that made Alex’s insides feel like jelly. “Your time starts now.”

With that, he turned to head assumedly to his dressing room, and Alex stared after him for a long moment before calling, “The contestants had 15.”

Greg didn’t pause or turn around. “And you don’t need to find or make any mistletoe.”

Well, that certainly was true.

Alex turned the thimble over in his hand, his mind racing. He’d be lying if he said he’d never thought about this, about what would happen if one or both of them stopped thinking that this thing between them was anything other than a very long-running and successful joke. Somehow, thinking about it hadn’t prepared him for it to actually happen.

And it certainly hadn’t prepared him for how suddenly he’d need to make a decision.

Then again, he thought, curling his long fingers around the cool metal, maybe after ten years of sitting next to Greg, of becoming friends and then something closer to family, of flirting and laughing and sharing more of himself than he had with anyone other than his wife and, perhaps, Tim, maybe it wasn’t sudden at all.

Maybe it was a long time coming.

And maybe it was about damn time.

Alex started towards Greg’s dressing room, his determination growing with every step, and he only paused a moment to shove the thimble in his pocket.

He wasn’t going to need it.

Notes:

This now has fanart courtesy of the lovely elixir-if-i-wanna!!! Go give it some love on tumblr because it’s absolutely incredible!!

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