Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It's been two whole years, years of pain and suffering, of joy and laughter. But most important of all, the two-year anniversary of meeting some of the best friends Shoto will ever make. That includes all of his classmates of course, especially Tenya, Ochaco and Izuku.

Shoto spent most of his time with the three of them, but all of his classmates are very special to him. They're currently at the end of Summer break, tomorrow, they'll have to go back to school, back to the dorms. He heard everyone complain about the break ending, but Shoto honestly couldn't wait to return, going to classes and working hard every day to improve their skills. He couldn't help but miss spending his days around his friends. 

Of course, It's not like he hasn't seen them at all recently, it's quite the opposite. They had spent much time together during break, meeting up to go to various places, but those times would always come to an end, and he would always have to say goodbye. 

The clocks show 10:30pm. He had spent even the last day with his friends, walking through the city, enjoying some ice cream. Now, he is standing in his room, his old room, inside the house holding so many horrible memories, alone. Ready to end the day.

T-Shirts and books find their way back into the Suitcase that brought them here. And after brushing his teeth, closing the curtains and a quick change of clothes, he went to sleep. It was a quiet night.

The next day arrives fast, he rolls out of bed, and gets changed. He would meet his sister downstairs, she was the only one at home this morning, though she'd be leaving soon as well. Endeavor, to his luck, is busy with hero work, and Natsu was away for college.

“Ah Shoto! Good morning!”

Fuyumi said with a smile, she's wearing an apron, as she had been making breakfast for the two of them. Together with the smell of eggs and bacon in the area, she once again managed to make this place seem more normal, calmer.

“Morning Fuyumi.”

“You're leaving today, aren't you?”

“Yea.

“But you're not leaving right now, right? How about we eat some breakfast together? I made some omelettes if you care for one.”

“Thank you.”

“No worries, c´mon, sit down! Also, you have quite a few things with you, right? I can give you a ride to school.”

“Don't overwork yourself, I can handle it. Also, don't you have to go soon?” 

“Oh please, I'm not overdoing anything, and work is in a few hours, so I've got time. I just wanne help out my little brother, that's all.”

“...”

“...”

“So it's settled then, ill drive you to school, what time was it again?”

Right. Once she sets her mind on something, it's nearly impossible to change it.

“...2pm.”

“Got it!”

Fuyumi was always like this, always looking out for them. Shoto remembers when she heard about him coming back for break. She seemed so happy to have all of them together again, even went out of her way to stay, instead of leaving to sleep in her own apartment.

Shoto couldn't say he enjoyed his time here, as always, but Fuyumi gives this place a calmer atmosphere. It's thanks to her, Shoto could find a little peace, even here, in this hellhole of a house. Though he still tried his best to stay away from Endeavor, as far as he could.

They ate breakfast together. Afterward, Shoto made his way upstairs to get his bag and suitcase. They didn't carry a lot, only the essentials, but it seems that alone can already go a long way. Fuyumi tried to help Shoto, but he seemed to want to do it himself. 

After packing the luggage in the trunk of the car, and taking seat, they finally drive off. 

Fuyumi puts on her favorite playlist, and hums along to her favorite songs. Some of which modern trends, others classic, soppy love songs. The atmosphere was soothing and warm, as it always was when she's around.

Shoto would listen to the song's lyrics, as he had nothing better to do. Stories about falling out of love, beginning to love, and mostly just pain. The lyrics felt more like a scream for help, than a loving embrace. 

He wondered why people would mostly connect it to pain. Wasn't it supposed to be a good thing? 

Either way, it wouldn't matter, as he had no connections to love. He never really thought about relationships before, it had nothing to do with him, he thought. Of course, he loved his friends, but nothing more. No one would stand out. Right?

He would hide these thoughts in the back of his mind. An unknown object floating around, caged away for all eternity. Or, until it escapes.

Soon, they would arrive at UA.

“Annd here we are, are you gonna be ok with your bags? You sure you don't want any help?”

“It's fine. I'll be alright.”

“Well, if you say so. Make sure to text me every now and then ok?”

“Will do..” 

Fuyumi stays quiet for a few seconds.

“I'm happy we got to have those 6 Weeks together as a Family, even though some of them weren't as happy as I'd hoped…But I'm also glad to know you'll be back living amongst your friends.”

She smiles softly, and takes a step forward to give him one last hug, which Shoto takes as reserved as always. His arms barely touching her back, but they're there! Usually he'd just stand there in confusion, but it seems Fuyumi finally made some progress.

After some more goodbyes, they part ways, and Shoto makes his way back to the dorms, eager to meet his friends once again.

Chapter Text

“Ayoo, hey there, Todoroki!”

“Wassup dude! Long time no see!”

Soon after his arrival, he'd be greeted by a bunch of faces. Some he'd not seen for a while, like Denki and Hanta, and some he'd seen often during the break, such as Tenya and Ochaco.

“Hey.”

“Man, it really feels like forever since we saw each other, but we hung out the other day…weird, huh?”

Ochaco came rushing in, with Tenya right next to her. She's as bubbly as always.

“Todoroki. I see you are still carrying your bags, shall we lend you a hand?”

“Oh no it's fine, ill take them back to my room.” 

“Alright, if you say so, we will be waiting for you here!” 

“Got it.”

He turns away from them and walks towards his room.

It seems Midoriya isn't here yet, though it's already 2pm. He's usually very reliable, I wonder if something happened.

He walks through the hallway, and opens the door to his room, as he arrives. Upon entering, a sense of safety surrounds him. Shoto likes his dorm room a lot, it's small, quiet and holds a small connection to his old home. While it may seem a bad design choice at first, connecting his room to his old house holding these horrible memories, he chose to remember the good things. Most importantly, how his mother would hold him in her arms while watching old recordings of All might on their computer. He remembers her very well. It feels as though his room resembles the environment of that day.  

After taking a few seconds to breathe, he turns around towards the door, leaving the bags to be unpacked until after his return. As he walks through the hallway, he hears various voices, almost cheery. 

And to his surprise, the person who he had been thinking about just a few moments ago steps into frame, bags in hand, greeting Tenya and Ochaco, and all of Class A as he himself did when he arrived.

A sense of relief overcomes him, weirdly enough, he was just a little late after all.

“Great, this is everyone, right?”

Denki speaks out.

“Wait, was I the last one??”

“Yea dude, it's way past 2pm! Your lucky Aizawa is running late as well…you better get those bags away or else he'll notice!”

Denki says with a cheeky smile, to which Izuku can only reply with panic.

 “Ahh right, right, ill be on my way then!”

He starts tumbling towards his room, but stops right before he enters the hallway.

“Oh, Hi Todoroki!”

Before Shoto could answer, he was already gone.

“ Hi.”

He whispers to himself, as he follows Izuku with his eyes.

His attention focuses back to his friends, he'd hear them talk about..

"...Midoriya? He Overslept? Damn happens to the best of us, huh.”

“Don't take this as an excuse for yourself, Kaminari. U gotta get ur attendance up this year.”

Jiro buts in. 

“Cut me some slack, man..”

Their conversation started to blur as he fell into his thoughts.

I see, he just overslept. Could’ve figured.

Izuku comes back as fast as he left. It wouldn't take long until Aizawa arrives, to his luck, or not I suppose, he wouldn't have cared either way.

“Alright, is everyone here?” 

Aizawa said, with a very tired, yet horribly annoyed voice. But besides the voice, he'd seem the same as always. The tired look has really become a defining point. No one could imagine him without it, I'd feel like something was missing…

“I'm gonna go through the list…first of…Aoyama.” 

“✧ Qui ☆ ”

“Ashido.”

“Here!”

As irrelevant as it seems, Shoto noticed someone standing next to him. Someone, meaning Izuku, of course. Since he was just coming from the hallway which Shoto stood in front off. It seems Izuku decided to place himself next to him. Why didn't he go back to stand with Tenya and Ochaco? He wondered. Perhaps he just didn't want to disturb Aizawa.

“Todoroki.”

what.

“Here.”

I didn't see that coming at all, I must’ve spaced out..

“...”

“...” 

“...”

“...”

“Midoriya.”

“Here!”

“M*neta”

“Present!”

“And Yaoyorozu.”

“Here.”

“Good, seems like everyone made it. Classes will start normally tomorrow at 7:45, first hour will be general information, as well as the new schedule. But for now, you can do whatever you want.”

"YEA alright! Hey Sato, you’ll be making dinner tonight, right?”

His friends started to irrupt in cheers again, specifically Denki…again…, Shoto understands the feeling, but he was never a fan of loud noises. Nonetheless, he has gotten used to the chaos. I'm sure Aizawa doesn't feel the same though, Oh wait, he's already gone.

“Well yea…as always.”

“Don't worry, we’ll help you, we won't leave you alone with the cooking….”

“Yea…we never see you helping Kaminari, how about you make dinner tonight?”

It seems Denki has gotten into an argument with Momo and Kyouka, well mostly Kyouka.

“Oh, don't worry guys, I was actually looking forward to this! I love cooking for all of you. Seeing my food be so appreciated makes me feel useful in a way.”

Rikido said, sheepishly. It seems like all of Shoto´s classmates appreciate another as much as he does.  

“Are you sure, Sato? We can at least cut some vegetables or prepare the oven?”

Momo seems worried, she hates leaving other people to do all the work themselves. Always has. She feels as if she's using them…of course that's not the case, but she just can't help herself. Not just her, though, it seems most of them feel the exact same.  

“Well, if you want to help I won't stop you, you are all welcome to join me anytime!”

His classmates seem busy discussing tonight's dinner. While some others sit on the couch talking about various topics, mostly everything they did this summer, or the upcoming homework and exams. And Shoto, well, he has not moved since he saw Izuku come through the door!

“They sure seem exited! I'm glad to be back, I missed these little day-to-day situations with everyone, feels like home doesn't it?”

He hears Izuku say next to him. Shoto jumped a little, as if he didn't expect Izuku to talk to him.

Oh, that was directed at me, right? He is looking my way…

“Yea.”

Shoto feels kind of unsettled, maybe the loud environment is getting to him more than he thought.

Maybe ill go back to my room for now, I still have to unpack my stuff.

But as soon as he thought, Ochaco and Tenya joined the…”Conversation”.

“So, what are you guys up to?”

“Nothing much… I was thinking about joining everyone else.”

“Sounds good! You in Ida?”

“Of course.”

“And you, Todoroki?”

“Oh well, I may return to my room for now.”

“Huuuh? Already?” 

Ochaco seems disappointed, but understands Shoto might just need some time alone. She doesn't press for him to stay. Izuku, on the other hand, speaks up.

“We can hang out in one of our rooms if it's too noisy here? Unless you want to be alone, of course! But it would be nice to spend the night together!”

“Oh yea, that'd be totally fine! Right Ida?”

“I agree! But do not feel obligated to do anything Todoroki! The choice is all yours!”

“Oh, well…”

All three of them look at him with anticipation, he feels…torn.

“ok”

“Yaaay :D”

Ochaco cheers, seems like the other two feel the same.

“Alright, where do we go? I'd say my room…but it's kinda empty in there…and Ida´s room is too tidy… I'd feel bad…”

She mutters to herself.

“How about yours, Deku?” 

“Yea, that's fine, we can go to my room.”

“Great! Then let's go. Oh! I'll go get the cards, you guys go ahead!”

“Alright! Then let's get moving!”

Tenya said, and continues to lead the way to Izuku's room. Whilst Ochaco splits off to her own to get said playing cards, which had been present on various of their hangout party's in the past. 

Thats fine, I suppose.

It's fine indeed, more so, he's actually glad things turned out the way they did. He never intended to spend the evening alone in the first place. But he can't help but feel as though this day has been more stressful than usual.

After a short walk, all four of them make their way to Izuku's room, and prepare themselves a nice little area to sit, with a short table in the middle. 

Ochaco places the playing cards on the table. It's a normal 52-card deck with the usual Clubs ( ♣ ), Diamonds ( ♦ ), Hearts ( ♥ ) and spades ( ♠ ), Kings, queens, jokers and aces. They usually play Crazy eights or 31, along with Black peter and of course Solitaire. It was actually them who taught Shoto how to play, since he never got to do fun things in his childhood. 

Shoto loves playing cards with his friends. 

But before they could start, Ochaco made a horrible discovery.

“Wait guys, we don't have anything to drink… I'll go get something!”

“I will be just fine with a cup of water.”

Tenya replied.

“Anything works really, sorry for making you run around, I can help you if you want.”

“Oh no, don't worry. I don't mind at all! Alright ill get going, you guys prepare the game k?”

“Will do!”

It doesn't take long until Ochaco arrives with a bottle of water and some soda cans. They had already prepared the game, which they had decided to be Black peter. They play a total of 5 rounds, with a score of:  Ida: 0   Uraraka: 1  Midoriya: 1  and Todoroki: 3

As always, Shotos 24/7 straight face turns out to be very handy when it comes to keeping your pocerface, especially with the others being…not so slick…

“Man, you just keep on winning, I remember why we stopped playing this for a while…”

“Well yes, Todoroki is known to be very…reserved, whilst we on the other hand..”

“Ida, I never told you this, but whenever you have Peter, you stiff up and your glasses turn white, I dont even know how thats possible…”

“I could say the same to you! You give a kind of menacing aura whenever you're hiding something.” 

“Wait really??”

Tenya and Ochaco discuss each of their tellings, meanwhile, Izuku puts the cards together and throws away the empty cans. 

“Whatever, wanne play something else? How about the classic?”

Ochaco interrupts herself.

“Sure, we got roughly one hour until dinner,  are you ok with that Todoroki?” 

“Of course.” 

“Great!” 

Shoto is not quite sure why Izuku asked him that, did he seem bored? Annoyed? Or maybe he was just being considerate. Either way, he's happy Izuku thought about him.

The gang continues playing until around 6pm, they get a call from Mina, telling them to come over to have dinner. Ochaco takes the cards back to her room, and the rest of them walk ahead into the living room to meet with the rest.

Ochaco joins them at last, and all of them enjoy a delicious, classic curry. With the stars of the kitchen being Sato, of course, with the help of Momo and Denki! 

After a long day of playing cards, and eating curry, they spent the last few hours sitting together on the couch, talking about whatever came up in their minds.

And soon enough, each of them said their good nights, and left to get ready for bed, early enough since classes start tomorrow.

Shoto is finally back in his room, alone, ready to rest. Don't get him wrong, this day has been very fun, but spending so much time with his friends drowns his social battery more than he would like. He can’t wait to enjoy some silence, with the exception of his own thoughts, of course.  

I forgot to unpack… 

Shoto gets to work. T-Shirts and books found their way out of the Suitcase, back into their designated spots. And after brushing his teeth, closing the curtains and a quick change of clothes, he went to sleep.

Chapter Text

The next morning arrived quick, as he was greeted by an old friend of his. The alarm clock set to exactly 6am. He has already forgotten the horrible sound of the bells, ringing in the same old pattern, looping over and over again until his mind is finally broken.

Nonetheless, he turns it off, and slowly, with the help of all of his muscle strength, sits up.

He puts his hand on his face in an attempt to rub off the tiredness in his heavy eyes.

God, I hate that sound, I should change it…

The morning sun shines through the curtains, and covers the room in a soothing orange tone. The birds outside have started to sing their morning songs, which are lovely enough to get Shoto out of his futon, and open up the curtains to fully let the morning in.

He makes his way out of his room, into the dorms' bathroom. It's very spacious, with a couple of sinks and mirrors along the walls, and a door on the far end leading to the big bath tub, which is honestly too luxurious for a school dorms bathroom. He opens the door, to see an empty room. It seems he is the first to wake up today. Walking up to one of the sinks, he gets a first look at his face. His hair is messy, with a few strands going places it physically shouldn't be able to reach… and a bit of sleep crust next to his eyes. But a quick splash of water would fix his sleepy face, and a fast head shake would fix up his messy hair, somehow. As he puts some toothpaste on his brush, he'd hear someone opening the door.

“Ah! I see you are already awake, Todoroki! As always, I may add.”

A very familiar voice echoes through the walls, and through the mirror, he identifies the person to be…

“Good morning, Ida.” 

“Good morning!”

Ah yes, Tenya, they would meet each other every morning. Each day would be a mystery, finding out if the other is already here or not. He has found enjoyment, looking forward to this routine of thiers, and it is nice knowing it will seemingly continue throughout the next year. 

Even his morning appearance would be the same, hair only slightly messy, and a generally fresh look. Shoto seriously doesn't know how on earth he keeps it up.

“I was worried you might have slacked off during the break, but here you are even earlier than me! Your discipline is very inspiring.” 

Tenya said, walking towards the sink next to Shoto. And preparing his toothbrush.

“You praise me too much, It's nothing special.”

“You should be more proud of your accomplishments, Todoroki. But I'm not here to give you a speech, let's get ready, shall we?” 

Shoto finished brushing his teeth, and left the bathroom soon after.

Back in his room, he goes to open his closet, to see his uniform hanging in the exact spot he left it in. After changing, he sits down, and takes in the morning once again, as he has more than an hour left before he'd have to go to class. He would usually wait until around 7am, at this point, all of his classmates would be in the living room, eating breakfast, or just relaxing until 30 past. And he shall continue this ritual.

7am, the halls are more lively now than they were an hour ago. Shoto can hear his friends and classmates talking as he makes his way through the hallway. And after a quick look across the room, he'd spot his friends. Tenya and Ochaco sitting by the table, eating breakfast, and Izuku, getting handed a bowl of rice from Rikido, who prepared this morning's breakfast, as always.

As he comes closer, he'd get greeted by various voices, but only pays them as much mind as he needs, because the people *he* wants to greed are further ahead. 

“Ow, Mowning Todowoki!”

Ochaco mumbles, checks filled with rice.

“Please swallow before you speak Uraraka!”  

Tenya speaks up.

“Sorry haha, over the break, I kinda forgot what a good breakfast tastes like…and now I cant stop..”

While they talk, his attention switches to Izuku, who walks up to him, 2 bowls of rice in hand.

“Good morning Todoroki, I got you your breakfast, hope you don't mind!”

Shoto is greeted with a soft smile. He´d be surprised by not only Izuku, but also an overwhelming feeling of, appreciation, as he takes one of the bowls off of Izuku's hands. 

“Thank you, good morning to you too.”

Both of them sit down, Izuku next to Ochaco, and Shoto next to Izuku, and they eat breakfast until they all leave for class. Shoto coulnt help but relive that moment over, and over again. He was happy Izuku had thought about him. He wondered, why Izuku went out of his way to bring him his breakfast. Was there a reason? Was is a coincidence? Would he do it again? He feels oddly motivated, and less tired than before. 

7:45am, first class with Aizawa, who is present on time. Shoto hears his classmates whispering, they seem just as surprised as he is.

“Ok Class, quiet down..”

Aizawa starts.

“I will hand out your new schedule now, take one, give it to the next person, you know the deal. After that, we'll go over some general info. Second hour will begin as planned in your schedule. ”

School days went on like always, some English, some History, some Math and an occasional break, with his all-time favorite meal, *Soba*. Nothing new other than the fact that there are now no upperclassmen to look up to, and a bunch of new first years who cant stop admiring them. Talking about third years…

We won't be able to see Mirio, Tamaki and Nejire anymore. They're out there, working as heros. I hope they succeed. What am I thinking, of course they will. But being the oldest now feels oddly heavy, with all the first and second years looking up to us. We will have to give it our all this year..

Voices start leaking into his cautious, as he begins to focus back on the conversation. All four of them, meaning Tenya, Ochaco and Izuku of course, are sitting together, talking about today while they eat. 

“It's the same every year… I miss school during the break, but once I'm here, well… BUT I'm as motivated as ever! I mean…all the new first years look up to us now… I have to be on my BEST from now on!” 

He hears Ochaco say, everyone seems to be affected by this new anticipation.

“I fully agree! This Year shall be our best! We'll be admirable upperclassmen, just like last year's class.” 

Tenya answers.

“Yes sir!”

Ochaco agrees.

“ I wonder what Mirio and the others are doing right now.”

Izuku joins the conversation.

“Oh, I heard they are opening an agency together!” 

“Really? Actually, yea that sounds about right doesn't it. I bet they're going to rise up in the charts in no time!”

“They truly were admirable, and it looks like they will continue to be just that!”

Shoto likes listening to their conversations, he usually doesn't talk much, so it's nice having people with him who know his quiet nature, and don't force him to join in.

Rise up in the charts… if anyone will, I'd be him. Not necessarily on strength alone…but more so because of his nature. He doesn't care much about fame, nor a first place, at least that's how I see it.  As a hero, even in lower rank, all he would want is to make people happy, and ensure their safety. Even if all of his classmates are higher than him, he would be happy for them, cheer with them..  

Why do I know so much about him? More like, do I even? We *are*  friends, but what if I'm mischaracterizing him? Why am I overthinking this.

“...roki?”

No, I'm sure what I'm thinking is correct. We spend most of our free time together, and I have seen him like this multiple times. During practice, during class, and during…the sports festival. Why is this bothering me, what is bothering me in the first place?

“To-do-ro-ki, are you ok?”

Ochaco´s voice suddenly shot through his head, and he realized, he hasn't been eating, neither has he been listening to anything that was being said. And on top of that, all of them are looking at him with slight concern.

“Oh, sorry. I spaced out.”

“Yea…you do that but, usually you keep going with whatever you're doing, you were like..GONE, gone!”

“Is the third year life getting to you?”

He hears Izuku say jokingly next to him, with empathetic eyes, and a soft smile. It feels like every one of his smiles seem oddly soft. He is suddenly more stressed than before.

“Yea, probably.”

He looks away.

“We only have 10 min left, make sure you finish, we wouldn't want the soba to go to waste!”

Tenya reminded him, but that wouldn't be a problem, he could inhale all of it in 2 min if he really wanted to.

They continue their day as usual, no more casualties, but Shoto cant help but feel bothered, he'd space out more and more over the span of the day, but not to the extent of loosing grip on reality. Still, something wasn't right.

2:30pm, UA dorms living room.

“Maaan, I am beat…”

Denki sights out, after letting himself fall onto the couch.

“I forgot how exhausting training is, Aizawa really pushed it this time…”

Mina joins in. Aizawa has indeed been more demanding this time. Assumingly because they are now on the last stretch of their training at school. 

“I'm gonna take a bath…”

“I'll join you, Ashido.”

“Count me in…”

Mina, Momo and Kyoka made their way to the girl's bathroom.

I should do that too, well, not now. Everyone probably has the same thought. I don't like when it's crowded…

“Hey Todoroki.”

Izuku calls out.

“Ida and I are going to take a bath, you wanne come with?”

…

“Sure.”

“Great! Today really was tiresome, I may just stay there the whole day…”

“Please do not, if you stay for too long you will just make yourself feel even worse. You may

even pass out from the heat!”

“I was joking…but thanks for the warning…”

Didn't I want to wait until everyone else finished? Ah, well… I cant say no now. I'll be fine.

And to Shoto´s demise, his fear of a crowded bathroom became reality. His classmates indeed all had the same idea. Maybe all is an overstatement. He would only count 5, with them 8. Yea no, that's definitely too many. The longer he stays, the more his nerves get to him, he decides to stay in the corner of the bathtub for now. Though of course, his behavior would take the attention of some people.

“Hey, are you sure you're ok? You're acting kind of strange today. I mean not strange, strange just, absent? More to yourself than usual.”

“I'm fine.”

The words shot out of his mouth, as if he's being interrogated. He's not even looking at the person speaking to him. Not like he needs to, he knows who it is. And his nerves aren't getting any better, worse even.

I can imagine what his face looks like. I don't want him to be concerned for me. Though I cant deny, I am acting strange today.

“I think, ill get out now.”

“Already?”

“Yea.”

As soon as he said that, he left. Leaving Izuku more concerned than before.

1am Shoto´s room.

I cant sleep. I wonder, maybe leaving made him worry even more. But, what else was I suppose to do. I could've told him what's wrong, if only I knew that myself. I'm overthinking this, it's probably the first day of school stressing me out. What I need to do now is sleep. If only my head would shut up..

Shoto had convinced himself his out lash was a mere first day of school panic, and crossed it off his mind. At least he tried. The following days would go smoothly. Gaslighting really does work, not in the best way, but it does work! He focussed on his studies, and worked even harder during training. Even his free time was mostly spent studying. 

Chapter Text

A week later. 6:05 am, boy's bathroom.

“Good morning Todoroki!”

He hears Tenya say, as soon as he enters the bathroom. Seems like he is second today.

“Morning.”

He answered, walking to the sink next to Tenya.

“I feel like our early morning conversations have been the only form of connection to you those past couple of days. It is very important to be on top of our studies, and work hard each day, but don't shy away from spending more time with your friends, we are starting to miss you.”

Oh

“Sorry, I just-”

“...”

Actually, I'm not sure why

“I was scared of falling behind. But it seems my fears are unreasonable.”

Tenya smiled.

“I believe you will be just fine. But, even if you do fall behind, you can count on your friends to have your back!”

“Yea, thanks.”

Shoto gets a first look at his face. Messy hair, tired eyes, as always. After brushing his teeth, a quick splash of water, and a head shake, he is ready to face the day.

7am, living room.

“Morning Todoroki!”

The second face he would properly see this morning would be Izukus, standing in front of him, two bowls in hand, and a smile as soft as ever. He moves his arm slightly towards him, initiating Shoto to take the bowl. Which he does.

“Morning..”

“You know, this is kind of becoming a routine, dont you think?. You always come right when I'm about to get breakfast!”

It's not quite a routine just yet, but Izuku has been doing this more often lately. And every time he did, Shoto couldn't help but feel happy. Happy, yet, something else...Actually, he is just speechless now.

Both of them go to eat at the table, he never ended up replying. But that didn't concern Izuku. He knows Shoto is quieter in the morning. Shoto would suddenly feel more stressed than before.

The day went by. First Math, then History, Japanese, English, and training. And in the afternoon, he would be on his way to study in his room. Tenya did tell him to be less to himself, but something inside of him would tell him to hide. Before he could leave, though, he'd hear a voice calling out to him. 

“Hey! Hold on!”

It was Izuku, for some reason, he would have a lot of interactions with him lately, more than anyone else. Mostly because Izuku was the one initiating them.

“ Are you going to your room?”

“Um.. Yea.”

“You have been to yourself a lot lately.”

“...”

Something about this conversation seems different. Especially within himself. Again. 

Have I worried him? Is that why? 

He looks away.

“I'm fine, really. Just felt like going over today's material again. I don't want to get left behind.”

“I thought you'll come to hang out more, Ida told me you would anyway…he said you talked about that this morning.”

Oh shit

“Ah, right. Uhm..”

His mind suddenly shuts down. Words are failing to form any type of sentence. And he has not been able to properly look at the person in front of him. Was it fear? Shame? Something different? Maybe all of the above. His heartbeat started to rise up. 

What on earth..

“Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to force anything onto you. I just wanted to make sure everything is really ok. Maybe I'm overreacting…”

Both of them just stood there in an awkward silence. Shoto would want to look up, watch Izuku. What's his expression? Is he making it worse? But he cant bring himself to look at him.

“I'll tell the others you're not feeling well, so, if you still want to leave, that's totally ok.”

Shoto nods his head, and without raising it once, turns around to go towards his room. At this point, it feels like he's running away from something. 

Back in his room, he takes a deep breath. 

What was that, I thought I was over this. Coming back to school cant be that much of an inconvenience, and It's already been a week… But I was fine, I was fine until now. What happened? And why..

Why is it only happening when *he* is around.

Midoriya? What does he have to do with anything? I was just stressed because we just came from a long break…

No…that's not it.

But…it just makes no sense. What would make me act this way? Perhaps I'm acting weird, because I know I made him worried about me. Yea, I must feel bad for wasting his time with me. I'll apologize later…

He would spend the next few hours studying. Well, he tried. Turns out he could not focus at all. Instead, he thought through the last week over and over again. Trying to figure out what makes him act differently. Suddenly, a text message would throw him out of his thoughts. 

It's not him, is it?

He would start to feel uneasy at he thought of it. And he would continue to feel uneasy, as the text message was indeed from the person he feared. 

“Hey Todoroki! Sorry to interrupt you during your studies. I don't want to annoy you. But I was wondering, can we meet up and talk? You don't have to, of course. And it doesn't need to be today, but I just cant help but worry. Even if everything is fine, we can still just hang out. Again, sorry to interrupt. I'll see you.” 

Shoto reads the message once. Then twice. And again. Each time would make him more and more confused. He was met with the same reaction he had earlier today. He can feel his body screaming for oxygen, as he takes another deep breath. 

It's happening again…ok, now I definitely cant deny it being related to him anymore. But that doesn't answer the question of why, why on earth this is happening. Am I, scared??

Shoto was thinking about answering Izukus message, but his hands wouldn't let him type, as they were trembling in fear. And even if they didn't, he couldn't form an answer anyway. His mind, once again, shut down. He decides to put his phone away for now, and calm himself. 

A deep breath, and another. But he wouldn't fully recover, though it has calmed down enough to at least think about what the massage said.  

He wants to meet up? Of course, I worried him, so he wants to talk about it seriously. Just the two of us? I suppose it wouldn't hurt but-

Just the two of them? 

I could finally tell him everything is ok, so he doesn't have to worry anymore..

He is not okay.

Maybe he could help me with whatever is going on with me?

Absolutely not.

No, that would worry him even more, he would know I'm lying…. I was thinking about lying to him? 

Shoto loves his friends. And he knows that no matter what, they would be there for him. He could tell them anything, and they would reach out their hands. And he knows keeping problems hidden away will only lead to more problems but, It's easier said than done. All he wanted is to tell Izuku, is that everything is ok. But that's not true. In fact, he didn't want to speak with him in the first place, as the thought alone would bring up fear and anxiety. But then again, Izuku is his friend. … He shouldn't push him away like this. 

I could try to talk to Ida, or Uraraka maybe?

But Shoto doesn't feel like opening up to them. Especially not something that would make him so vulnerable. He loves his friends, he really does. But even still. He cant say they are people he could fully trust, fully open up with. 

But then, what do I do? I cant talk to anyone else. And him? Even if I take up his offer, I would certainly make his worries worse. I don't want to lie, but maybe it's best if I do? Just once, for his sake. He shouldn't waste his time on me. I'll figure this out someday, I'm sure till go away at some point. Whatever is it.

Shoto has made up his mind, he would answer Izuku, and agree to his invite. And he would keep it as short as possible, as all he needs to do it make sure Izuku thinks there is nothing to be worried about. It's a simple plan, what could go wrong. 

To initiate the first step, actually answering his message. He would think of multiple ways to reply. “Sure” , “Of course” , “That's ok” , “I don't mind”. This would turn out to be a very difficult task…

Why is this so complicated, I never struggle to reply. 

As he types out his final reply, he would stop, hovering his thumb over the “send” button for a few seconds. And then he clicks it. It's out. The plan it set in stone. Though he finds himself feeling slight regret, as he, even now, alone in his room, at the mere thought of the operation starting, feels his body shiver in fear. He quickly puts away his phone, and decides to get back to his studies. But he just ends up staring at an empty piece of paper instead.

A few minutes pass, and all he can focus on is his phone, which should make another sound soon, as he expects Izuku to reply. Which is exactly what happened just a few moments later, each time it rings, his hearts skipped a beat. How exhausting.

“Thank you! I'm currently with the others, they say dinner is ready soon. We can meet up right after that. Or if that's too soon, we can meet up tomorrow after school. You decide what works best for you!”

Oh, I have to reply again…

Shoto would think intensely about this one. He already took 10 min to reply to the first message. Which just ended up being “Sure”. 

Right after dinner? That's really soon. But I suppose, better get it done now. But am I even prepared? I don't feel prepared. Why do I have to prepare myself for a simple conversation… Wait, I shouldn't take so long to reply, he must’ve noticed the difference in time between me receiving, and replying to the message. Ok, Now or later.. Now or later…

“After dinner sounds fine.” 

Shoto surprised himself with how quickly he answered this time. Though, it felt more like a panicked reply. Once again, he would begin to regret his actions.

I suppose it's going to be today, why did I do that…no, better now than later. The faster I can convince him, the faster everything will go back to normal. For him, at least.

His phone rings again, and he sees the new message pop up. 

“Great :). Do you want to meet in one of our rooms? Or somewhere else? ”

What- I have to replay again? God, this is exhausting… Ok, where. Would I feel more comfortable in my room? But there is not much space for him to sit. His room? No… And I don't want to go outside. It shouldn't last long enough for us to be going anywhere. Oh, I can just say I don't care. But that means replying again… … No, it's fine. I have got one more in me. 

“I don't care. You decide.”

Shoto takes another deep breath. Turns out, he has been holding his breath for some reason, and is now met with a significant need of oxygen, again. But he'd have no time to breathe as a new message popped up.

“Then we'll meet up in my room. K? 

Ah…

Dinner would be ready soon, but Shoto doesn't feel hungry at all. In fact, he suddenly feels very full. 

“👍”

Shoto spends the rest of his time going through the plan, again and again, until he gets a message from Mina, telling him dinner is ready. He gets up. Takes yet another deep breath. And opens the door. 

Be normal, be normal, be normal-

Those words would repeat in his head until he reached the table.

“Hey there you are, we've got Spaghetti on the menu today! Hope you like it.”

Rikido said, giving him a portion on a plate.

“Thanks.”

It smells delicious. But again, Shoto feels no hunger at all, and a sudden raise of despair to make it worse. He does not feel like eating right now. But would feel bad not eating it, since Rikido put so much effort into making it. He hears his friends calling out to him. Ochaco, waving from a seat in the far left. Next to her, Tenya and, Izuku. He walks over, head facing down.

I cant even look in his direction anymore. What am I doing.

“Are you feeling better?” 

Ochaco asked, as he sits down next to Tenya. There was a seat open next to Izuku, and It would've been closer, aside from the fact that he usually sits there. But he subconsciously took the one farthest away from him. This surely wouldn't lead to any more questions.

Midoriya must have told them I left because I'm not feeling well. He even had to lie because of me. This definitely needs to stop. 

“Yea, just exhausted from the training. I'm all good now.”

“That's good to hear. I guess even you struggle with the difficulty sometimes.”

“You think too high of me.”

“Really? You are on top, or in the top 3 of the class most of the time. I seriously don't get how you or Momo do it…haha…”

“Let's not talk about grading and enjoy our food, shall we?” 

Tenya jumps in.

“Ah yes, sorry! Let's dig in!” 

His friends start enjoying their spaghetti. They all seem pleased. Rikido´s cooking has always been amazing, so no surprise there. He just wished he had more space in his stomach to actually enjoy the food. Because at this moment, he is trying his best to at least finish the portion, with each bite feeling more and more like he is about to puke. 

Whilst others have already finished, or taken off to get a second plate. He was still sitting there, with half of his plate full.

“Are you not hungry, Todoroki?” 

Tenya asked.

“Yea, not really.”

“But you ate so little, will you be ok? I guess you can eat later.”

Ochaco added, both seem concerned.

“I'll make sure to eat later. It's no big deal.”

“If you say so…”

Shoto is glad to be sitting next to Tenya, He's sure Izuku noticed, but at least he wouldn't have to confront him just yet. Though the thought of it happening in a short while makes him feel less optimistic.

“Ugh, I'm full…”

Ochaco sights out.

“I must agree, Sato's cooking is really something special.”

Tenya agrees

“It sure is~ Oh, hey Deku, Ashido said she wanted to play cards with me later. Wanne join us?” 

“Oh, that sounds great but, sorry, ill be busy later.”

“No worries! Ida, Todoroki? Any of you who want to join?”

“I will sadly have to pass as well. I feel tired after a good meal. I may look over yesterday's Homework again.”

“I'm gonna pass as well..”

“Woah, we're all busy huh, well I'm sure I can find someone who's free.”

Ochaco gets up.

“I'll see you guys tomorrow then! Good night.”

She says, and walks off to return her plate.

“I will be on my way as well then, see you guys tomorrow”

“Good night!” 

Izuku replies to both of them leaving. Now there is no one separating him and Izuku anymore. Izuku looks his way.

“You're gonna put the rests in the fridge, right? I'll come with.”

Shoto nods his head, and takes the invite to get up. They walk over to the counter, Izuku to the dishwasher, putting his plate in there with the others. And Shoto to one of the cabins, holding the cling film. He covers his plate, and puts it in the fridge. Though, he fears he may not get back to it any time soon. He felt someone walk up behind him. 

“You ready?”

Izuku asked, which shouldn't have scared him as much as it did. He knew he was behind him after all. Once again, he nods his head. 

“Then let's go!”

Chapter Text

Izuku leads the way, Shoto close behind. Never in his life has he felt this nervous before.

But he takes all of his courage together to fulfill the mission at hand. To get out of this a soon as possible. The walk towards Izuku's room feels like a marathon, and the silence feels almost haunting. But they would soon arrive. Izuku opens the door, signalizing Shoto to enter first. Once inside, he would walk towards the middle of the room, and just, stands there, looking around, as if he had never seen it before.

“Make yourself feel at home. Just sit wherever you want.”

Izuku said, entering after him, and walking past him to sit down in his chair. Shoto looks over his room again, sitting on the floor would just be inconvenient, so he decides to sit down on the edge of the bed. He keeps his head low, as he did most of the time nowadays.

“Todoroki?”

He raises his head to look at him, but doesn't keep his eyes locked, occasionally looking slightly to the left, then slightly down, in a repeating motion.

“I did think, I was being ridiculous but, there really is something wrong, isn't there? 

Is it really that obvious?

“No. I mean, I'm fine, really. I'm just-”

I'm what, what am I? I don't even have an excuse. What now??

“Tired.”

“Tired?”

“Yes.”

“...”

“...”

…

“You know you can always talk to us if something's up. No matter what it is. You don't have to lie… And also, do you think we're just gonna let you suffer?”

“It's really not that big of a deal.”

“Well, at least you're being honest about something being wrong now…but, I'm sorry, I just can't believe that.”

“Why?”

“You're not even looking at me…”

oh

Shoto forces himself to look him in the eyes, as you would during a normal conversation. But, he wouldn't last more than 5 seconds.. And for those 5 seconds, he would notice Izukus expression. It looked serious, yet empathetic and soft. A truly terrifying sight.

This isn't going how I hoped. Instead of releasing his worry, I cemented it in his head. Of course, what was I thinking, in my state of being, how did I think I could do anything. And how do I get out of this alive. I might have to make up a different problem, but what? I can't use school as an excuse anymore. But what else, my family? No, I would feel bad making up family problems…But then what, what do I say?

“Hey…you better not be thinking of an excuse…”

Shotos head shoots up. 

“ You actually were??”

Shit

Izuku's face was painful to look at. So soft, yet horribly sad.

“Did you not notice?”

“...”

“You're hands.”

Shoto looks down. And to his surprise, it seemed as if he had been holding his hands together unconsciously. He slowly releases the strength he put into gripping his other hand, and places each of them next to his legs, far apart from each other.

…

“Ok, listen...there has been something bothering me, that part I admit. But I can handle it. It's nothing I want anyone to unnecessarily be worried by. Just give me a few days, I will have it figured out and things will go back to normal.”

97 bpm

“It's been like this for …more than a week…and It's still bothering you… You don't have to handle anything alone, why won't you let us help you?”

“I don't want help.”

“But why? Is it a secret? Something you can't tell us?”

“It's not a-”

100 bpm

…

“You really can't say? What about the teachers? I'm sure there's someone you can trust with this?”

“Its-”

The words wouldn't form. He would say “the problem” but wouldn't know what that even meant. Or did he?

115 bpm

“Hey, are you ok? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push you…”

120 bpm

Shoto couldn't think. He wanted to run away. Escape this. Whatever it was, he was not ready to face it yet. Izuku has been so kind, so soft-spoken, and yet, oddly terrifying. 

135 bpm

“Sorry, I'm leaving.” 

Shoto gets up, and starts walking towards the door.

“What? Wait!”

He does not look back. It feels as though his whole body is screaming for him to run as fast as possible. He hears Izuku getting up.

His hands reach the doorknob, and in a quick motion, pushes it open, and starts running. He runs as if his life depends on it, his hands reach out once again for the door to his room. Opens the door, and closes it behind him. The sound of the door shutting would echo through the halls. 

One deep breath after the other. He is stood there, back facing the door, and his hands still holding the doorknob. As if to hold it shut in case someone were to try opening it.

After a few seconds, he lets himself slide down. He stares at the ceiling for a while.

…

His breathing calms, and the fog in his mind disappears, slowly. He wouldn't know what lead to his actions, but he would slowly realize the consequences. Pictures of Izuku would flood his head, his painful expression. He couldn't bare the confusion, the unknown. His life took a huge turn, down a deep, black void. He couldn't understand why, what had happened? 

He remembers summer break, walking through the park, laughing, they were happy. Everything was fine, why now? He would find himself longing to return to Izuku, yet feared him, his influence on him. As if the two sides within himself were fighting a war. And everyone knows, no one wins a war. All it brings is pain, death.

Chapter Text

Another morning breaks in. The sun shines in its typical orange, and the alarm clock ringing at 6am is annoying, as always. Shoto turns off the alarm, and gets up to head to the bathroom. As he would, every morning. 

“Good morning Tododoki!”

Tenya greets him, today, they would meet each other in the hallway. 

“Morning.”

“I hear Aizawa has prepared a special class for us today! Perhaps we will be training with class B again. It would be certainly advantageous, they must have grown a lot over the time we have not met each other in battle!” 

“Yea.”

They enter the bathroom. Both aiming to different sinks. Shoto gets a first look at his face. His hair looks messy, and his eyes have formed dark shadows under them. He looks, horrible.

“I did not want to be rude, so I kept to myself. But, did u not sleep well last night?”

“Had a nightmare.”

“I'm sorry to hear that, will you be ok?”

“Nothing serious. I already forgot what it was about.”

“I will trust in your judgement..”

Tenya looks worried.

After brushing his teeth, a splash of water and a quick shake, he would look, not as bad as before. Ready to face the nightmare ahead. 

He and Tenya parted ways. Back in his room, he would change into uniform, and wait the remaining minutes until 6:50am. He decides to leave earlier today. For no reason in particular.

His classmates greet him, as always, but he would only pay them as much mind as he needs. As always.

“Oh, good morning, Todoroki!”

Ochaco greets him.

“Morning.”

“You're here earlier than usual.”

“I got bored.”

Shoto walks towards Rikido, who would hand out breakfast.

“Mornin!, Here you go.”

“Thanks.”

“Looks like I won't have to give Midoriya two portions today, huh?”

He felt his heart ripping apart.

“.. Right.” 

“Well, bon appétit!”

Shoto walks towards Ochaco and Tenya, who were already sitting by the table. As always. He sits down next to Tenya, close to the end of the table. As he eats, he would hear someone sit down next to Ochaco, but chooses to ignore it.

After he finished his breakfast, he would get up, and walk to the right to reach the dishwasher. Turning around the same way he came from, he walks towards his room to get his backpack.

Classes would go as usual, some English, some math, some Japanese, and of course, hero training. Aizawa had gathered them all to tell them today's plans.

“As you might have heard, we will do something a little different today. We won't be training with class B, to get that out of the way-”

Shoto hears various people's disappointment.

“Instead. We will be doing multiple 2v2 fights, in which you will have to catch the other team before they catch you. I will go deeper into the rules later on. At the end, we will have a final showdown. The winners get a prize.”

The disappointment quickly turned into cheers.

“YOO we haven't done this in a while! I bet I'm even better than you now, Bakugo~ you better get ready~”

“Shut up, dunce face. AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING WEAK HUH!?”

“Weak? I never said that, did I say that? Not me! Haha..ha…”

Denki has, once again, picked a fight with Katsuki…

“Calm down, bro, let's fight it out once the competition begins!”

Eijiro came to his rescue.

“Quiet down.”

Aizawa breaks them up. 

“I'll go over the rules now. Like I said, you will be fighting in groups of two. The main goal is to put these handcuffs on a person of the other team.”

Aizawa holds up a pair of handcuffs, just normal handcuffs you would see on a police officer.

“Once both players of a team get caught, they lose, and the winning team will continue fighting the other winning teams. Once you lose, you're out. Each pair gets 2 handcuffs, teams will be randomized.”

“Random?? Aw, man…”

Mina replies, disappointed once again.

“I have prepared a box with pieces of paper inside, each different pairs of colors. Walk up, take one, and wait for your teammate.” 

“I'm sorry to interrupt…may I ask a question?”

“Yes, Yaoyorozu.”

“All we need to do is put handcuffs on both hands of the 2 opponents. Are there any rules as to what you can or cannot do during the fight?” 

“No rules. Fight however you like. But don't go overboard, I don't think I need to tell you that killing isn't allowed, right?” 

“Of course not! Thank you. Please, continue.”

“Alright, if there aren't any more questions…”

“...”

“Aoyama, you will go first.”

Shoto watches each of his classmates reach into the box, and pull out a color.

“Ohhh, I got purple!”            

“Green? Does anyone have green?”              

“Oh! You have yellow, right? Looks like we're a pair!”    

Izuku walks up to Aizawa. His color is Orange.  

“Green huh…”           

“OH GREEN, Yesss, let's go Tokoyami!” 

No orange yet. Now would be Shotos turn. He stands in front of the box, and reaches his hand in…

Not orange. Not orange. Not orange.

He pulls out a Red piece of paper. Glad, yet disappointed.

“Ohh red…that's new.”

Someone said. They would continue to each pull out a piece of paper, until all the teams were set.

Team Purple: Mina Ashido and Hanta Sero

Team Green: Denki Kaminari and Fumikage Tokoyami

Team Yellow: Ochaco Uraraka and Tsuyu Asui

Team Orange: Izuku Midoriya and Mashrao Ojiro

Team White: Mezo Shoji and Kyoka Jiro

Team Black: Minoru Mineta and Rikido Sato   ( Poor Rikido…)

Team Pink: Katsuki Bakugou and Momo Yaoyorozu

Team Blue: Toru Hagakure and Yuga Aoyama

Team Cyan: Tenya ida and Koji Koda

Team Red: Eijiro Kirishima and Shoto Todoroki

“Now, we will decide on the teams who will go against each other-”

“Hold on, this won't add up, Block 3 doesn't have an opponent!” 

“Will you let me Finish?”

“Sorry.”

“As you pointed out, Block 3's winning team won't have a set opponent, at this point, we will have the loser of the last battle fight them. And so forth..you'll understand.” 

“Some have to fight two matches, one after the other? Man, that's no fair…”

“Life isn't always fair.” 

 “...”

“Now then, Please pull out another piece of paper of this box.”

Aizawa brings in yet another box, looks identical to the other.

"This one contains the numbers 1-5. Team Purple, come forward.”

“Alright! Let's see here…Numberrr, 4!”

Aizawa continues to call out teams, until the Blocks were set.

Block 1: Team Black against Team Cyan

Block 2: Team Orange against Team Blue

Block 3: Team Red against Team Pink

Block 4: Team Green against Team Yellow

Block 5: Team Purple against Team White

Shoto would be fighting against Katsuki and Momo, but only after the Winners of block 1 and 2 have been decided. 

Bakugo and Yaoyorozu, I have fought alongside each of them, I should be able to come up with a Strategy… Especially with Kirishima on my side, he can take on Bakugo, and parry his Explosions. But we need to watch out for Yaoyorozu, she's sharp. One slip up could mean their victory. That being said, I wonder if Bakugo will cooperate.

“Hey dude! We're fighting against Bakugo, right. You can leave him to me!”

“Thats what I was hoping, then I will focus on Yaoyorozu.”

“Sounds good, oh right, what do we do when…”

Eijiro and Shoto discuss their battle plan, while the fighting teams prepare for their own Battle. After 5 min of preparation between the team members, Aizawa would sound the alarm, starting the first fight of the competition.

The rest would watch them on multiple screens, recording everything happening inside the Arena. Shoto does not care about this fight. But he does notice Tenya doing some interesting maneuvers. And the fact that Team Cyan won. Next up is Izuku, I mean Team Orange against Team Blue.

Shoto watches the Orange team spread out. They seem to be sticking close together, running quickly to the other side, to where the blue team resides. Izukus motions were fast. He would move using his black whip, and his usual strength. It seems he has gotten a lot better at handling his quirk since the last time he saw it in action, but even then he seemed to be handling himself quite well. Shoto pays no attention to the other team, he knew who would be winning this. He watches Izuku leap towards Yuga, Ojiro close behind. Yuga attempts to fight them off with a beautiful laser show, but sadly, Ojiro and Izuku Manage to take him down. Izuku waits for Ojiro to put the handcuffs on, until he suddenly turns. He grabs onto something, then pushing it down to the ground. It seems Toru was trying to sneak up on him, which sadly failed. Team Orange wins. Both teams return.

“Aw, I was rooting for Toru…how did he know she was there?”

“I think he said he has some kind of 6th sense?”

“Since when?? And what does that even mean??”

“I don't know! Ask him yourself..”

”Rude.”

He hears his classmates talking, but switches focus to a different conversation for, no reason in particular.

“Midoriya sure is strong.”

“Yea, I could barely see him moving, he's so fast!”

“A little too fast…it's scary seeing him leaping towards you…”

“Aw, I'm sorry, but you did good, Aoyama! You did hit Ojiro with your attack! Lighten up!”

Next is Shoto´s team. They had already decided on a plan. Shoto runs towards Momo as fast as possible, and Eijiro takes on Katsuki. I will keep this short. Momo prepares various Items, but gets stopped by Shoto´s ice. Katsuki leaps towards Shoto, but Eijiro blocks his attack, and gives Shoto enough time to fight Momo. Both of them have a hard time fighting the other off, especially Eijiro, who would basically cling onto Katsuki, and manipulate him into fighting so he doesn't disturb Shotos battle… Thankfully, Shoto beats Momo before the other fight breaks up. Then, with Shoto´s help, Eijiro beats Katsuki, barley, but they win nonetheless. 

Shoto notices Eijiro talking to Katsuki after the fight, they both seem to have a normal conversation. No screaming, no explosions…it seems like he really did change. 

Blocks 4 and 5 are next. Again, I will keep it short. Block 4's winner is Team Yellow, and Purple takes the crown of Block 5. Shotos next opponent would be decided after Izuku, I mean Team Orange, fights against Team Cyan. He isn't sure who will come out victorious this time, both teams are strong, but even still, his vote would be for Izuku, I mean, Team Orange.

The fight begins. Izuku moves as fast as always, It's hard to follow him on the screens. Though you could say the same to Tenya, who dashes through the arena, alone, with Koji as support. Izuku and Tenya clash, they both deliver fine hits to each other. Izuku manages to keep up with Tenya´s speedy kicks. He got used to their speed, since Tenya taught him how to use his legs properly. They had trained together a lot in the past. But he would struggle nonetheless. Koji and Ojiro…Shoto doesn't bother. Izuku brings out black whip to distract Tenya, he wouldn't catch him, but they would give Izuku enough time to jump towards him, and tackle him to the ground. After a lot of struggle and sweat, Izuku would come out victorious!

Nice! Oh…

Shoto´s eyes lit up for a few seconds, since when has he been so invested in the fights?

He sees Izuku jump up, and run towards Ojiro. Seems like he has been struggling with a swarm of bees up until now… Izuku sneaks up behind Koji, or at least he tried. Kojis birds have told him about Izukus attack, and were ordered to mess with him. They actually seem to be struggling a lot, Ojiro with the bees, and now Izuku with the birds. See what I did there? Bees and Birds? Sorry.

Izuku frees himself  from  the bird swarm with a kick, that would create enough wind to throw them off balance, and eventually fall. Now, with nothing in his way, he jumps towards Koji and holds him down. Izuku, I mean Team Orange wins!

“That was crazy! Did you see those Kicks??”

“Man, that was close! They almost got it!”

“Koda did amazing! I kinda wanted to see him win…”

“Tsk.”

Everyone seems to be just as enchanted by the fight as Shoto was. Though they each had different reasons. After the teams returned, they had a short break, which gave Shoto and Eijiro enough time to focus on, and prepare for the next fight ahead. This time, Team Red would be against Team Cyan. 

…

End of break. Both teams enter the arena.

“Alright, just like we planned!”

They had the privilege of watching Koji and Tenya fight, which gave them a lot of vital Information. They plan to take out Koji first, as he is a very underestimated, dangerous enemy. They hear the starting sound, and begin. Koji and Tenya were strong enemies, as they anticipated, but a well-thought-out plan, and a bit of luck would get them through this fight. The deciding factor would've been Tenya´s engines running too hot, which lead him to lose a few precious seconds, which Shoto took to his victory. And Koji sadly had to lean that no animal could even begin to hurt Eijiro, as he would simply harden, and ignore, or simply break through whatever would be happening around him. 

Team Yellow and Purple would have their own fight just a few Minutes later, with Yellow walking out with the gold medal. 

The Competition is reaching its climax, only 3 fights left. First, Izuku, I mean Team Orange against Team Yellow. Whichever team loses will go against Team red. And lastly, the grand finale will be decided between the two winning teams. 

Shoto hears his Classmates screaming and cheering for each team, the atmosphere is similar to a football stadium. 

Everyone would wait with anticipation, as the two teams walk inside the arena, waiting for the starting bells to sound. And then, it begins, the battle that will break more than just bones. A battle that will change the flow of his Story.

Chapter Text

The fight begins. Both teams start rushing through the arena. Shoto watches this fight very closely. And the longer it goes on, the faster his heart would beat. Tsuyu gets a good grip on Ojiro, but he can escape with the help of his tail. Ochaco floats various rocks and trinkets, and lets them fall on both Izuku and Ojiro, but they only take minimal hits. 

As the battle unfolds, Shoto gets thrown into a rollercoaster of emotions, optimism, fear, amazed, disappointed, nervous, exited. He would see them pull off interesting plays, and crazy moves, but also feared the end result. As much as he would like to win, the best way for this to end, was their loss.

I'm sorry Uraraka, but I need you to lose. If they do, I can simply choose to lose the second fight, and avoid any potential danger…and at that point, yellow can even win the entire game. It's a win-win strategy if anything, except for us, of course. I'm sure Kirishima won't be upset with me. 

As he thought to himself, he would see Ochaco pull off a game changing combo with Tsuyu, catching both Izuku and Ojiro off guard. Shoto felt his heart drop for a second.

“GO OCHACO!”

“Did they win? Did they win??”

Hold on, this isn't how it's supposed to go.

“Oh shit, I think they got Ojiro!”

“No way, really?? Can Midoriya even win all by himself??”

Come on, seriously!?

“Wait guys, LOOK.”

Izuku jumps up in the air, higher than the cameras could see, and comes down fast, a deep dive onto the ground, fist aiming to punch below himself. The floor of the arena crumbles, and shoots various little pieces up in the air, mixed with a huge smoke cloud. Shoto cant see the fight anymore, it takes a few seconds for the smoke to vanish. He holds his breath. 

“Did he just destroy the Arena??”

“We cant see what's going on over there!”

Who won!?

The smoke started to disappear, and what they see on the screen is, Tsuyu, handcuffed on the ground, and Izuku, standing in front of Ochaco, holding up both of her arms. She takes a step back, revealing the handcuffs around them. The room is quiet for a few seconds, then.

“WHAT.”

“Wait Midoriya won?? How?!”

“I suppose we won't know until we ask them ourselves, but the smokescreen was definitely used as a distraction against team yellow… I'm guessing he simply ambushed them.”

“Man, that guy is a beast…”

“It's ok though! They have a second chance, if they win the next one they can get their revenge!”

Shoto feels his heart beat again. Now, all he has to do is lose, how hard could it be? 

“Can we still use the arena? Its like…ruins now…”

Aizawa lets out a sight.

“Yes. I kind of expected something like this to happen. You will have to fight in ruins once you work as heroes anyway, let's just say this is to test your adaptability. Now then, 5min break. Team red, get ready to fight.”

“Alright Todoroki! We actually made it quite far! How do we do this?”

Good question, how do I do this… I cant just say I want to lose on purpose, that will just give me more problems. I will make a plan in which I play a crucial role, and then, I will make a “mistake”. Sounds easy enough.

“Todoroki?”

“Let's play it like last time. You take Asui, I fight Uraraka. Simple.”

“Hmm… I'm not sure, I feel like Asui can take me down all by myself… I'm close combat and she is range attack… I'm pretty much at a disadvantage there.”

“I'm sure you'll be fine.” 

“Man, don't be like that…”

“You're telling me you cant take her?”

“I mean, I can try..”

“We can change the plan if you say you have no chance against her, I just thought I don't need to worry with you there, but-”

“OK fine, ill do it, you just watch! You can trust me bro, I won't let you down! Woah now I'm all fired up!”

“Great, then let's do this.”

The break ends, and both parties enter the arena. Let the fight begin.

Shoto´s plan was simple, make a very inconveniently placed ice wall, and let Ochaco handcuff him on behalf of a “surprise” attack. He knew Eijiro would be at a disadvantage, so the chances of him losing are high. And so they move out, charging at their separate targets. Tsuyu and Ochaco seem to be sticking together though, to which Shoto replied with a huge ice wall, forcing them to split up. Now, with the vision of the other side blocked, he would only have to make another ice attack and miss, which he does. A huge wave of crystals forms in front of him, reaching close to Ochaco, but misses by a few meters.

Perfect.

He would keep a close eye on Ochaco, keeping his distance. She hasn't made any attempts to attack yet, but it was certain to come. Shoto stalls for a moment, and goes for another ice attack, this time, aiming to take the view of the camera watching his every step. 

Uraraka hasn't pulled any stunts yet, which means she must be planning something, I should keep low as to not ruin her attack.

Finally, Shoto would see Ochaco moving towards him. 

This is it.

She steps out from behind one of the ice crystals, and reveals a huge beam, which she throws head's first towards Shoto. In response, he puts up an ice wall right in front of him, hoping Ochaco to use his loss of vision for her attack. And to his luck, she did just that. Next to him appears Ochaco, cuffs in hand, ready to fight Shoto head on. Shoto turns his body the other way, acting as though he has expected her to show up on the opposite side. He feels something pulling his arms together, and the sound of medal clashing together. He had done it, and no one would suspect a thing, the view of the cameras was halved, and he had given Ochaco the perfect opportunity to attack. A truly beautiful execution.

If only, he would feel the cuffs around his arms closing. He wasn't out just yet, perhaps Ochaco forgot how to use the handcuffs. But he would soon notice, something went wrong. 

“ Hey.”

He hears her say, as she stands behind him, holding both of his arms together in an x position. 

“What the hell are you doing.”

“Looks like I made a mistake, go ahead, you won fair and square.”

“Fair?? How was that fair? First you miss your attack, unfazed by it, block the camera, and now you just stand there letting me handcuff you? Is this suppose to be a joke?” 

She noticed huh… I suppose I did make a mistake, I was naive to believe she wouldn't notice such obvious play. …

“Why does it matter. You won, and now you get to handcuff me.”

“THIS FIGHT IS NOT OVER.”

Ochaco lets go of his hands.

“What's wrong with you? Why are you letting me win? If you're trying to be “nice” I'm telling you it's not working. If anything, you're just humiliating me. Do you think I cant take you?”

“No- Thats not-”

“Then what is it? Come on, fight me! Do something!”

They stare at each other for a while. Ochaco has a furious look on her face, anger, and disappointment.

“I see. So you weren't planing on winning this from the beginning, huh.”

“...”

“This isn't like you, Todoroki… If you're serious about this. … Then I will forfeit this fight.“

“What- No you cant!”

“Why not?”

“If your team doesn't win here, I-”

“You what?”

Shoto looks down, he lost grip on himself, panicking at even the thought of winning this. 

The next move would decide it all. 

“I'm sorry.”

“What are you-”

Shoto snatches the handcuffs out of Ochacos hands, and starts to handcuff himself.

“Oh you LITTLE.”

Ochaco reaches out and grabs his arms, they struggle for a few moments, but Ochaco manages to uncuff the arm Shoto has fixed it on, and throws it away.

“Wha-”

At the same time, she reaches out for the handcuffs hanging on Shoto left side, and runs away. Shoto reacts fast, and follows her, but he would come too late. Ochaco turns around, with both of her hands handcuffed. They share another moment of silence, only broken by a light gust of wind. 

But this fight truly wasn't over yet. Shoto looks towards the first ice wall he created.

Thats right, Tsuyu, I can still lose, I just hope she has already taken him out.

Shoto starts moving his body towards Eijiro and Tsuyu.

“If you think you can still lose this, forget it.”

He stops.

“This is a 2v1 now, there is no way Tsuyu alone can win against both Kirishima and you. You, of all people, mister top of the class.” 

Ochaco keeps her eyes locked on Shoto.

"Even if Kirishima lost, do you really think Tsuyu will be any different than me?”

Shoto felt a heavy weight on his shoulders. But he couldn't back down. He couldn't.

She's right, I cant do anything anymore. The fate of this battle…

He starts walking back towards the handcuffs on the ground, and picks them up.

..lies in your hands, Kirishima.

The sound of two metal locks opening echoes through the area. 

…

“Are you serious?”

He would hear Ochaco say behind him, as he locks both of his arms with the handcuffs.

Silence once again. Neither Shoto nor Ochaco would speak a word, taking in the situation as it occurred. But the silence would soon be broken by a loud noise coming from the Ice wall, separating them and the other two. Shoto looks towards the sound, expecting Tsuyu to jump out of the shadows, but instead..

“DUDE, I actually won! You were right with this plan all along! Woah…what the hell is going on here?..”

Shoto stares at Eijiro in disbelieve. 

“ Hold on, how are both of you handcuffed?? Is this a tie?”

Neither of them say a word.

“Man, I totally saved you there, huh, I told you could rely on me!”

We…won? Kirishima won? How? Why?

“Seriously, guys…are you ok? I get that a tie is not the best end to a fight but…”

“Sorry, Kirishima.”

Ochaco replies.

“Man I really thought we would win this…but congrats to you! I hope Tsuyu put up a good fight!”

“She did! I was so close to losing, too! But then I had this amazing idea-”

Yellow lost, which means we now have to fight against-. Why, did it have to turn out this way. Now I actually have to face him. No, it's ok. My plan failed, but I can still go out of this without having to interact with him. We just need to do what we did here, separate and each take one down. I just need Kirishima to fight Midoriya... and win… … … 

“Yo Todoroki!”

He faintly hears Eijiro calling out to him.

“What are you spacing out for? C´mon on, we gotta prepare for our next fight!”

“... Right.”

“Hold on, let me get those off of you.”

Eijiro starts uncuffing him, he would hear Tsuyu join them soon after, she would apologize, explaining how her fight against Eijiro went. Both teams leave the arena. Ochaco wouldnt turn to look at him. As soon as they step out, Shoto would be jumped by his Classmates.

“DUDE, what the hell was that??”

“Why would you handcuff yourself??”

“What did you even talk about?? Why don't these cameras have audio…”

What?? They shouldn't have seen that, I blocked the cameras with my Ice-

Shoto takes a look at the screens. The ice that had blocked the cameras before melted, leaving almost nothing to block the view. Unlucky.

This couldn't have gone worse.

Shoto wouldn't answer any questions coming from his classmates, as he is still in shock about the current situation. Even Ochaco seemed to keep her mouth shut, not explaining any details about the fight. Aizawa walks towards him. His shoulders felt heavier by the second. Regret.

“I don't know what reason you had to handcuff yourself, but. Please refrain from doing so during the finale.” 

Shoto nods, he clutches his fists. A burst of anger would rush through him. Anger directed at himself. His actions, which even he himself can barely explain. He knew himself to be hot headed sometimes, but not during class, not during a fight. It felt as though he made one mistake after another, seemingly unable to stop himself. What happened to his calm, collected side?

He watches Aizawa walk away, announcing another 5min break. Now, Shoto would have to fight against Izuku, no if's and but´s. Kirishima steps next to him. 

“Hey there, are you ok? You seem kind of out of it…if you don't feel good, we can-”

“I'm fine. Don't worry. We should prepare for the next fight.”

Shoto interrupted him.

“.. Alright! If you say so. Then let's get this going, how do we do this? And please no self handcuffing!”

“Of course. We'll go for the same plan, you take Midoriya, I take Ojiro.”

“Woah really?? I feel like you should take Midoriya! Mine and Ojiros quirks are, like, meant for each other! A real fight between two men, you know!”

Shoto knew this was the right thing to do here. But, he does not want to confront him right now, or at all, actually.

“Come on! We should change it up a bit. Maybe a team attack? Or a sneak up?”

“You cant take on Midoriya yourself? You said the same about Tsuyu last time, and look where you are now.”

“I mean, I guess, but.. Hold on! I really do think you should fight him! It makes no sense for me to be at a disadvantage again. Especially not during the big finale!  I won't fall for this trick twice, you know…”

“I'm not tricking you.”

“It sure feels like it… Actually, it just feels like you're trying to avoid fighting Midoriya. Yea! First, you set me up at a disadvantage, and then handcuffed yourself against team Yellow. If they had won, we would've been out. You just don't want to fight Midoriya! But why?!”

Shoto feels a sting in his chest.

“I'm not trying to avoid anyone. I made those decisions to help us.”

“Help us?? How?”

“...” 

“You're acting really weird man, I seriously don't know what's going on, but please. I actually want to win this. Let's just give it our all and fight! Ok? As a Team! You don't have to take on Midoriya by yourself that way, thats good enough, right? I will have your back just like last time!”

“I-” 

“Break is over, Team orange and Team Red, enter the arena.”

Aizawa announces.

“Oh, shoot, it's starting. C´mon, we got this!”

“But-” 

Eijiro puts both of his hands on Shotos shoulders.

“NO, but! We will fight, and we will win!”

He backs off.

“Let's go, Todoroki!”

Both teams make their way to the arena. And soon enough, the last battle would begin.

Chapter Text

The final battle of the day has begun. Shotos nerves are on its peak once again. Both him and Eijiro jump towards their opponents. Soon, they meet. Ojiro immediately targets Eijiro, and starts a close combat fight. Shoto tries to assist, but gets kicked instead. He forms an ice spike behind him to catch himself. In front of him, the person who kicked him, Izuku. 

Shoto counters with another ice spike, but this one would be much bigger, aiming to push Izuku away from him. He would look towards where he had last seen Eijiro, but he wasn't there. Before he could even attempt to search for them, Izuku jumps at him once again. Shoto reacts with a firewall. Both of them would keep at distance, mostly because Shoto did his best to keep it that way, using only attacks that would block Izuku from coming closer.

Shoto had to lose him, and that quick. Next time Izuku jumped to attack, he would make a huge ice wall. He hears Izuku faceplanting against it. Shoto uses these few seconds to try and run away. He transforms the floor into ice, and pushes himself forward using his fire as engines. But Izuku wouldn't let himself get defeated that easily. Shoto hears something approaching behind him, he was sure Izuku would be fast to catch up, but not this fast. 

He turns around, Izuku right in front of him, coming closer and closer almost as if he was moving in slow motion. His vision goes dark, and he feels his body falling backwards, hitting the floor only a few moments after. 

As he opens his eyes, he would feel shivers crawling down his spine. Izuku has successfully pinned him to the floor. And shortly after, he would hear him scream.

“STOP AVOIDING ME.”

Shoto gets a first real look at his face. His expression could only be described by a mix of anger and eagerness. As much as he would like to escape, his fears had paralyzed him. But he wouldn't stay in that state for long, because soon, his fight or flight kicked in, initiating him to move his leg, and kick Izuku as hard as he can. Without looking back once, he gets up, turns around, and runs. Shoto felt the guilt wihin himself growing by the minute. Izuku falls back, clutching his stomach, but returns to move shortly after. Shoto pulls up another Ice wall behind him, catching Izuku off guard. He faceplants against the wall, again. 

At this point, Shoto has lost control of everything, himself, the situation, he just ran wherever his legs would take him. His heartbeat and breath would synchronize to form a piece, Prelude Op 28 No 16 by Frederic Chopin. 

Shoto manages to reach Eijiro, they seem to be fighting. His critical thinking skills have left him long ago, as he sprints towards Ojiro, and places himself in from of him. Ojiro´s arms had been stuck in the air, as he was fighting Eijiro. He takes the Handcuffs from his left side, opens the locks and in a quick motion, shoots up and locks both of Ojiros arms within the metal barrier of the cuffs. 

“Dude, what the hell??”

Eijiro screams, standing right behind him. Ojiro stays silent, he seemed too shocked by Shotos actions. 

“Shut up and help me.”

“What the-?!”

They hear something rushing towards them, a silhouette approaches Shoto. But they would be stopped by Eijiro, who hardened, and placed himself protectively in front of him.

“I know this was supposed to be a team fight, but breaking up our battle was not cool, bro!”

“You promised to have my back. You said I won't have to be alone, what about that?!”

Izuku had stopped attacking. The three of them just stand there for a few seconds. 

“Lets regroup.”

Eijiro said, and ran towards a nearby building, Shoto follows. 

…

“Ok, I'm gonna be real, I underestimated how much you don't want to fight Midoriya and, honestly, I'm sorry. I don't get it, but I'm sure you have your own reasons.”

“...”

“Listen, you don't have to say anything, and I'm not mad about before. Let's fight Midoriya together. You with range attacks, and I will try to put the handcuffs on. Sound good?”

“.. Sure.”

His voice was quiet, and tired.

“Are you ok to go back out again? You seem kind of pale…we can take a short break?”

“...”

Shoto leans against one of the walls, and lets himself slide down. He puts his head in his arms, and breathes for a moment. Eijiro keeps watch outside, ready to alarm Shoto in case Izuku were to attack. He does not. Shoto gets up.

“ You ready?”

“Ready, sorry.”

“Don't sweat it, let's go.”

They walk out of the building, and see someone sitting by the wall of the building right across from them. Izuku gets up. They prepare to clash. 

Shoto starts off with multiple ice spikes, varying in size and mass, all aiming to attack Izuku. Simoltanioulsy, Eijiro runs towards him, cuffs in hand. Izuku dodges, and stays up high. 

They would continue this attacking pattern, until they see Izuku using his black whip to pull both of them in the air, and jumping right towards Shoto. He creates an Ice shield to protect himself, Izuku hits it, and pushes himself off of it, making the Shield break, and Shoto fall towards the floor faster than before. Shoto turns around, trying to use his Ice to somewhat catch his fall. But Izuku lets out Blackwhip again, and catches Shoto right before he hits the ground. Eijiro would get up from within the ice rubles he fell into, he would only be mildly bruised thanks to his quirk. Shoto looks back to see Izuku dash towards Eijiro, they hand out a few punches and blocks, before they stopped to, talk?

Shoto cant hear their conversation, but Eijiro seems to be confused, or is he worried? He cant tell. And then, Izuku lifts his arms, to which Eijiro pulls out his handcuffs, and locks them in place. It seems this fight had ended in their Victory. 

Shoto watches them talk, he himself could only think of one thing to do. Leave this area. Back to the dorms, back to his room.

Once he returned, his classmates jumped him once again. Some would congratulate him on his win, some would ask questions, and some would just stare at him. He wouldn't pay it much mind. Soon, Aizawa steps up, and announces the winners.

“This Tournament has been going for longer than I anticipated, but we have finally found a winner. Team red wins.” 

His Classmates would clap. He doesn't care. He doesn't deserve it, he thought.

“Your prize is this, keep it save, or not, I don't care.”

Aizawa hands each of them a small Keychain.

“All might gave them to me, saying they are samples that never ended up being used…since I have no use for them, I thought I'd give it away.”

They are in the shape of All Might, standing with both of his arms by his side. The art style is very chibi like, and it's a little off color. It glitters with various sparkles if moved against the light. 

“All of that for a keychain???”

“So basically, the prize was Aizawas trash.”

“It's not trash! It's kinda cool, isn't it? I wouldn't’ve minded winning that!”

Shoto looks down at the Keychain in the palm of his hand. 

Midoriya would’ve loved this..

He suddenly felt immense guilt and regret returning. More drowning, and despair inducing, than before.

If he hadn't acted this way. If he had fought normally, how would the fight have gone? Would Midoriya be standing here, with the biggest smile on his face, as he looks at his prize? Would he have been able so see him laugh? His smile, made by the sun. 

Would he have proudly shown it off to everyone around him? Would he hang it on his backpack, and wear it to school every day? 

Shoto felt his eyes watering up. He wouldn't let them, as he froze his tears.

Hero training is over, and the class was sent back to their dorm. Shoto returns to his room, he would encounter many who questioned him, but wouldn't pay it any mind. Though, he would overhear his classmates talking, mostly about him. 

“ Is he okay?”

“He's acting kinda weird..isn't he?”

“He looks tired..”

After some time, he would take a bath, as always, after everyone else had already finished. Then, he quietly return to his room.

It seems I have caught quite the attention, of course. I'll have to be extra mindful of my actions from now on. It should only take a few days. I will make sure everything comes back normal.

As his mind wanders, he'd reach the door. He put his hands on the handle, but holds on to it for a moment.

That being said, isn't it bad for me to leave now? Wouldn't that only further their suspicions? I may have to go back and explain myself. But I won't be able to if either Midoriya, Kirishima or Uraraka stay within the group. But then again, I already have three people on my back, I need to drown out the numbers. 

Shoto is torn, now simply standing in front of his door, gripping the handle

I'll just stand by a small group, once I tell them, they will spread the information to the others. Yes, that should work. Now I can just hope there is such a group around. 

Shoto slowly makes his way back to the living room. Listening closely to the voices as he walks closer. He peaks around the corner, and his heart's stopped for a second, as he watches Eijiro, Ochaco and Izuku talking, together in a group of two more, including Tsuyu and Ojiro. A few meters away, he would see another small group by the kitchen counter, close to the window. They seemed to have noticed his appearance, he makes his way towards them, not even beginning to look towards Izuku and the others. 

“Hey there Todoroki.”

Denki greets him.

“ Hey! We were just talking about you!”

“... don't mind Sero… It's nothing bad, though, so don't worry…”

Momo interrupts.

“ It's true though, we were just worried is all, you seemed kind of out of it today, is everything ok?”

Kyoka finally asked.

“I see, thanks for the concern but, I'm fine.” 

“You sure?”

Denki asked, skeptical. 

“Yes, I couldn't sleep at all last night, it seems the restlessness is influencing me more than I had hoped.”

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear, do you know what could've been the reason?”

Momo asked, worried.

“A nightmare, I'm not gonna go into detail, but I can still remember it clearly.”

“Oh, I see. I had a freaky nightmare once, and couldn't focus the ENTIRE day… I feel you, man.”

Denki said, thankfully.

“Oh, you mean the one about the-”

“DON'T. You dare, Sero.”

Denki screamed, as if he had almost lost his life. Hanta on the other hand starts laughing hysterically. Kyoka sighs.

“Can you guys be serious for once?”

They drifted off.

“Whatever. Hey, if this nightmare was really that bad, wouldn't it help to talk about it? You can always come to any of us really, or maybe one of the teachers?”

“It's really not that bad. But thank you anyway, I will think about it.”

“If you say so. At least I'm glad it's nothing serious, we can stop worrying now, right?”

“Of course.”

“HEY, whassup.”

Mina joins.

“Oh, hey Todoroki. Good to see you here, I was worried you were gonna hide in your room all day! Now that you're here, what happened today?”

”Let's just leave it for now, ok? I'll explain later. If thats okay with you, of course.”

Kyoka looks his way.

“Thats fine.”

“Ohh okk. So I'm guessing everything's Ok? Right?”

“Yes.”

“Great! Now then, Jiro! I need your box!”

“What? Oh you mean my music box?”

“Yes! Yes! I want to blast some songs!”

“Ok…but don't turn them up too much, we got a noise complaint last time…”

“Nonono, just background music uk? Nice and quiet!”

“Alright, ill brb.”

“Yaayyy, hey Todoroki, wanne hang with? Just talking while listening to some songs, maybe you'll find some you like!”

“... Sure, why not.”

Shoto was unsure about this. But that was the case with everything he did today. He would blindly follow whatever his self destructive mind told him.

“Wooo! Okayyy lets go!”

Mina leads him to the edge of the couch, where Denki and Hanta have found their way to, as well as Toru and soon after Kyoka and Momo as well. Shoto does not look to the left, and decides to focus on the Situation at hand.

This is fine. I will be safer here than in my room. They surely won't try to talk to me while I'm here. And if I stay long enough, I can stall it out until tomorrow. Enough time to think about my next move.  

The group talks about various topics, mostly about today's training, but also clothes, plans for the future, and more. Shoto would soon lose track of everything being said, though. He would begin listening to the songs.

The Music box would play one song after the other, most of them were calm, and gave a nice atmosphere to the area. The last song has ended, and a new one would begin to play.

[You can play the song im mentioning if you want! :) Different Kind Of Beautiful - Alec Benjamin]

♪ You're a Different kind of beautiful, the kind that makes me scared . The kind that makes me turn around and act like I'm not there. The kind that takes my breath away, and leaves me without air. Maybe I'm delusional, you're just that kind of beautiful ♪ 

Shoto holds his breath. What on earth is that song? He looks towards the Box, intensely staring at it, as it continues to echo the lyrics through the room.

♪ I Turn the corner and thats when I see, you in the corner there staring at me. Mind out of order and heart on my sleeve .♪  

“...”

♪ I was hoping that I'd run into you here. But now I'm stumbling and I cant seem to figure this out ♪      

“. .......”

♪ Now I'm broken, and I'm crumbling in the open, and it's troubling. But I see you, and it fills me with doubt ♪         

“Do you like this song Todoroki?”

A voice had thrown him out of his mind, it was Kyoka.    

“Oh, uhm, I just…happened to listen to it.”

Shoto was in a million pieces. Unable to speak properly.

“Ohh! You have taste, I love that song!”

Mina buts in.

“Really? What's it about, I wasn't fully listening.”

“It's really sweet! He's like SUPER in love with her, but she's so beautiful, it's actually scary! He loves her more than he can take, that girl is seriously lucky…if I had someone who cares about me THAT much- and breaks into sweat just by talking to me, ahh I can only imagine…”

“I see, so it's a romance…”

All three of them listen to the lyrics, very carefully.

♪ Different kinds of beautiful, the kind that makes me fear. The kind that makes me turn around and act like I'm not here. The kind that takes my breath away, every time you're near. Maybe I'm delusional, you're just that kind of beautiful. ♪     

“Is there a reason that song caught your attention?”

♪ I try to speak but I cant find the words ♪

“Ohhhh~ is there?”  

♪ Knees getting weak and my speech getting slurred ♪

Shoto could feel his entire body shiver .

♪ Hands feeling heavy and Vision is blurred ♪

“Nope, like I said, pure coincidence. I was mainly focussed on the instrumental.”

♪ I dont even know what I wanted to say ♪

“Ughh boring…OH maybe it was something unconscious! Won't you tell us Todoroki~?”

♪ Didn't expect to be feeling this way ♪

“I wouldn't know what to tell you.”

♪ You turn your head and then you walk away ♪ 

“Suuure sure… I'm keeping my eye on you~ (Jk)”

Mina said, with a big smirk on her face. Despite his appearance, Shoto is currently trying his absolute best to keep himself together. His body is aching, screaming at him to run away, somehow escape this. But he wouldn't, he cannot make a scene, not now that things have started to be normal again. He has to keep his cool, thankfully, he has a side to him that can do exactly that. He instinctively activates his quirk, and cools down his body as much as he can. He closes his eyes, and slowly breathes in, and out. In, and out. He would feel his body getting colder, and colder. The voices fading away, his mind falling into darkness. One breath, then another. His heartbeat rising, what is he doing? What if they notice? He wouldnt care. Another breath, cold air ascapes his lips. Cold air? He should stop, it hurts. He doesnt care.

…

“Dude, is it getting colder in here?”

♪ And I'm helpless ♪

“Actually, yea, you're right. Did someone turn on the ac?”

♪ And I'm helpless ♪

“Ok this is getting ridiculous, who the hell is messing around??”

♪ Yea I'm helpless ♪

“Hey, hey, hold on! Look!”

In, and out. In and out. In and out-

“TODOROKI?!”

His eyes shoot open.

“What are you doing !? You're freezing everything!”

“Look at his face! It's forming ice particles, someone bring a blanket or something!”

“What for?? He should be able to help himself??”

“He OBVIOUSLY is NOT.”

“OK, OK.”

Shoto feels his body shiver, his hands have become dry and pale. He looks around, his classmates seem to be in a panic, some would talk to him, some would run around. He cant follow what's happening. All he wants to do is leave. He slowly gets up, his legs feel weak, he can barely keep himself standing. He looks back to the spot he had been in, it's covered in ice. He hears voices all around him. As he turns his head, he would see Izuku in front of him. He looks terrified. His lips are moving, but he wouldn't catch any of what Izuku was trying to say. Shoto hates seeing Izuku like this, worried.

Just a few seconds later, he would feel his body fall. His vision blurs, and eventually turns into darkness.

Chapter Text

Shoto would hear voices once again, muffled voices. He can barely identify them. Until he hears a deep voice, deeper than any of his classmates' voices. Could it be their teacher? Aizawa? What would bring him here? He feels something heavy surrounding his entire body. It's warm. His eyes feel heavy, but despite that, he tries to take a look. His vision is blurry, but he would notice a big blanket wrapped around him. He would notice Aizawa, talking to Mina, and some other people around them. Soon, he would catch their attention.

“Look! He's waking up!”

“Oh, thank goodness..”

“Todoroki?”

Aizawa looks at him. Shoto looks up. Aizawa kneels down.

“Can you hear me?”

“...”

Shoto nods.

“Dont worry, your body isn't in a critical state, you'll be just fine.”

“...”

“Do you remember what happened?”

“...”

Shoto looks down.

“Do you think you could try to stand up?”

“...”

Shoto slowly stands up. The blanked which surrounded him falls off of his shoulders. But he would still notice something heating him up. He raises his hand, and touches his forehead, it's hot.

“We've put hot compresses all over your body, please refrain from taking them off just yet”

“...”

“How do you feel? Any sign of nausea?”

“.. tired.”

“I see. Well then, you should rest for the next few hours. I'll bring you back to your room.”

“...”

Aizawa escorted him through the hallway, back to his room. Once there, he walks towards the closet, and takes out the futon. Shoto watches Aizawa prepare it. 

“Come on, take a rest. It's only 6pm, but I'm sure you'll sleep right through.”

Shoto sits down, and hides his lower body under the thick blanket.

“Before you rest. Let me tell you something.”

“...”

“I want you to stay here for the rest of the night. Sato will bring you your dinner in a few minutes. Try to eat as much as you can. Tomorrow morning, you get dressed, and go straight to the teacher's lounge. Since you regularly have English, I will be free for the first hour, I will meet you there. Did you get all that?”

“...”

Shoto nods.

“Good, I've written it on this note in case you forget. I'll put it on your desk.”

Someone knocks on the door.

“Thank you, Sato, you can give it to me.”

“No problem. … “

He hears footsteps walking down the hall. Aizawa hands him a bento box. 

“We tried to keep it light, and portable. Now then, ill leave you to yourself. Good night.”

He watches Aizawa walk towards the door, closing it behind him as he walks out. The loud thumb of the door falling close would be the last thing he'd hear. After that, silence.

Shoto does as he was told. He opens the bento box, and gets greeted by a wonderful smell. In the center, rise, with something on top of it. Next to it, various vegetables and a few pieces of meat. He would eat as much as he could.

A few minutes later, he puts down the empty bento box, and gets up. Shoto felt much better now, except for his heavy eyes, waiting to finally close. He changes into more comfortable clothes, and turns off the light. As soon as he lays back down, he feels his consciousness drifting away.

The next morning came quick. Surprisingly enough, Shoto has gotten his full hours of sleep. The compress on his forehead falls, as he leads his body to sit up.

The Morning sun is as warm, and orange, as usual. Shoto looks at the time, 5:49am. He is up much earlier than his alarm clock. Instead of going back to sleep, he decides to get up, and head towards the bathroom. Usually, Shoto would greet Tenya here, but today, he would finish as fast as he could, and successfully avoid any kind of interaction. 6am. The rest of the heating pads fall off of his body, as he takes off his shirt, and change into his school uniform. He sits down in front of his desk. Now, he would have more than two hours to waste. He looks down, and picks up the note Aizawa had left him with.

I wonder why. … What am I saying, I know why, but why would he take me out of class for it. Have I done something bad? Maybe he will yell at me for freezing the couch. I'll have to go and see. 

Shoto looks back at the time.

Two hours huh.

He tries to spend his time doing his homework, but that would only take about half of the time, as he had already started it. Now, there was nothing more for him to do, other than simply sit and think. He would relive yesterday over and over again. Certain sentences would play on loop.

“It's really sweet! He's like SUPER in love with her, but she's so beautiful, it's actually scary! He loves her more than he can take…”

A certain song would play on loop. Though he doesn't remember everything about it. Shoto pulls out his phone, and searches for the lyrics he remembers: Maybe I'm delusional, you're just that kind of beautiful. He clicks on the first thing he sees, the link leads him to a YouTube Video. Alec Benjamin - Different kind of beautiful [Official lyric Video]. He lets it play. 

As it sings its melody, he would relive the moment once again, more immersive than before. He would hear Mina and Kyoka talk about the song, and its meaning. He would follow the lyrics, and scroll down to the comment section.

“ This song means so much to me. I have never seen something explain this feeling as good as this does. It depicts love in a more serious, and real light. This is what it feels like to love sometimes, fear, anxiety and avoidance. Thank you for this, Alec! ”

Shoto lets the song continue, until it fades out. For the first time since the start of his weird problem, he felt as though he finally understood, accepted it... But the thought alone would make him shiver. Is that really it? The Problem that has been torturing him for the past few weeks is-

“Love..?”

Shoto felt as though his worst fear has just come true. As if it had been waiting for him, alone, patently in the depths of his mind.

He picks up his phone once again. And into the search bar, he types “How do you know if you're in Love?”. He visits multiple sites, each of them naming various tells and behaviors. He would read “a strong Compassion” “The desire to be close to them” “Finding their looks appealing” “Wanting a long-lasting emotional connection”.

Shoto would ask himself, is that really how he felt? And deep, deep down, he would know the answer. Shoto continues researching, asking questions like “Why do people fall in love?” How do people fall in love?” “Is love supposed to be painful?” But before he knew, the time had shown 7:35 am. 

Oh shoot

He quickly grabs his bag, and rushes through the door. He would hear only a few voices, and as he steps out of the hallway, he hears the doors close. Looks like they had already left.

He quickly runs over to the door, puts on his shoes, and opens it. The rest of them had already reached the gate. The sound of the door opening had caught the attention of the people still close to the entrance. Shoto closes the door, and turns around, meeting the eyes of Tenya, Ochaco and, of course , Izuku. They seemed surprised at first, but soon after, he would hear Tenya scream.

“TODOROKI! HURRY ON, WE HAVE LESS THAN TEN MINUTES LEFT! See Midoriya! It's fine, now come on! We gotta run!”

“Right.. ”

He would hear them say. His stomach starts growling, he forgot to eat. It doesnt matter.

Shoto begins to walk towards the gate. Walking fast, but slow enough as to not fully catch up with the others. He would look at them walking from behind. His eyes drift towards the person in the middle. He would watch Izuku closely, each and every move, each facial expression he would get a glimpse at.

Soon enough, they would reach their classroom, at exactly 7:45am. The others enter through the door, he would continue walking, as the teacher's lounge was a little further ahead. It seems he will be a few minutes late after all. 

“ Hey, Todoroki!”  

He would hear Ochaco scream, she had a weirdly empathetic expression on her face. 

Shoto remembered his fight against her, her expression back then. She must have been angry, she must still be angry, and yet, she calls out to him, with such kindness in her eyes. Shoto never wanted to hurt any of his friends, he thought about apologizing to her a lot, apologize to all of them, but couldn't find the time, didn't know what to say. 

But that would have to wait anyway, as he has something else to do right now.

“ Where are you going?” 

“Teachers lounge.”

Shoto answers, and quickly turns around. He would arrive at 7:48am. He enters, and sees Aizawa sitting in front of one of the Computers. Aizawa looks up.

“There you are.”

“Good morning..” 

“Now then, let's go.”

“To where?” 

“Just follow me.” 

They start walking back towards their Classroom, but continue to pass by it. Shoto gets a peek through the door as they do, he would hear his name being called, followed by a bunch of other voices, now louder, and finally, present Mic, telling them to shut up.

Aizawa leads them to a door, just a few steps ahead. He opens it, and reveals a small room, furnished with two small couches each standing in front of the other, and a table right in the middle of them. Right next to it on the wall is a window, showing sight of a big tree standing in front of it. He would see a few shelves on each side, some open, some closed with 2 little doors, packed with different kinds of books, folders and things he couldn't identify at the moment. Right next to one of the closed shelves, he'd see a small sink. Weirdly enough, why would they need one in here?

“Go on, sit down.” 

Shoto carefully takes seat on the couch sitting by the wall. He watches Aizawa walk towards one of the closed shelves, and opens them up to reveal a few mugs, and what seems to be a kettle.

Shoto sits patiently, waiting to get any type of instruction, as he continues to watch Aizawa make two cups of tea. The sound of the kettle boiling the water inside of it drowns out the silence, but also brings up an eerie feeling inside him. He wasn't scared or anything, but the sounds of a tea kettle whistling would still give him goosebumps.

Shotos focus would switch to the window, now watching the wind blow, and the leaves wiggle, as some of them slowly glide towards the ground. Then, silence once again, and footsteps closing in.

“Sorry for the wait, here you go.”

Aizawa puts down both mugs, filled with hot water, and two teabags. They were white, with a small black cat design imprinted on them. 

“Thank you.” 

Aizawa takes seat on the couch in front of him, and looks at Shoto for a moment.

“ Do you know why I brought you here today?” 

“... concerning yesterday..?” 

“Of course, but what do you think I'm about to tell you, exactly.” 

“Damaging school grounds?” 

“...”

“...”

“I thought as much. You're not here today to get yelled at, or punished by any means.”

“...”

“All I ask you to do right now is talk to me, with full honesty.” 

“... about what?”

Shoto felt his heart sink.

“Todoroki, you don't seriously think I'm going to overlook that stunt of yours. You have used your quirk to regulate your body temperature for almost three years. I've seen you do it, your classmates have seen you do it, even in a state close to what lead to your collapse. Now tell me, why didn't you do it this time.”

Shoto stays quiet for a moment. He has expected, and prepared for, punishment. Not for an honest talk.

“I was pretty out of it, I must have forgotten. My apologies. ”

“...Forgotten huh, I'll leave it at that for now. Why did you activate it in the first place?” 

“..i was warm.”

“You must have been boiling inside if you needed this much cooling.”

“...” 

Shoto looks down.

“What made you so stressed that day? I noticed during training, but did not think as much of it as I should have.”

“I just couldn't sleep. I had a nightmare.” 

“A nightmare...that pretty much matches up with what Yaoyorozu and Jiro had told me. And Ida, you seem to have told a lot of people.”

His body tenses up.

“...they seemed worried. So I explained myself.”

“ That you did, but is it the truth?”

“... of course.”

“...”

“I'm sorry, but I can hardly believe a simple nightmare could lead to such actions. Still, I will keep the possibility in mind.” 

“...”

“If that nightmare of yours really was the reason, would you mind telling me about it? It mustn't be detailed, just a rough outline would be enough.”

“... uhm.”

How do I roughly explain a nightmare I never had …what could freak me out other than…that…

“Family...” 

“About your past?”

“.. Yes…”

“I see. Though, I believed you had made some improvements. You've been seeing your mother more often, have you not? And Endeavor has shown quite the eagerness to “die for his sins” .”

“...”

“I don't want to surface bad memories, I'm sorry if I say anything that makes you uncomfortable. I just want to make sure you are being honest with me.”

"It's fine.”

“...”

“...”

“I get being honest with your teacher might be more than I can ask for. If not me, I would like you to speak with someone else, perhaps even a professional.”

“Like… therapy?” 

"Exactly."

“I don't believe I need something like that.”

“In that case, prove it to me. Prove to me, I don't have to worry about you. Without lies, may I add.”

“...”

“I'll take your continued silence as an answer.”

“...”

Shoto felt his nerves getting to him. More, and more. He felt as though he was caught doing something he wasn't allowed to do. He felt exposed, and shameful. He brings his hands together, and holds them tight. The silence would only worsen his emotional state. And the screams coming from within himself, telling him to run away, slowly started to surface.

“ Todoroki. ”

Shoto jumped a bit. But kept his head low, as his name got called.

" It's ok. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, or can't do. But seeing your reaction, I can safely assume you are keeping a lot to yourself.”

“...”

“ Still, there is one question I need to ask. Who would you like to talk to. You can choose me, or any of the teachers, or I seek to hook you up with a professional. Depending on your troubles, we may have to resort to it eventually, but I remember you telling me you don't need it.”

“...” 

“Take your time.”

Aizawa sits back, and grabs the mug sitting right in front of him. Shoto has calmed down a bit, but cant help feeling horrible about his current situation. All he wanted was for no one to be worried about him, now even his teacher started to worry, and that to a degree Shoto could've never imagined. If only he had been normal, if only he had done as he planned. If only he hadn't been this stupid. He wouldn't be sitting here, but rather in class, with his friends, like always.

He takes a moment to clear his head, before tackling the question Aizawa asked him. 

Who do I want to talk to? No one, but that's not a choice I take. And therapy? They had considered it for a while, but I never saw myself needing it, nor do I now. My problem isn't exactly therapy worthy.. And one of the teachers? It's not like I'm too familiar with any of them, except for Aizawa, of course. So that pretty much answers it then…though I'm still unsure about all this.. 

Shoto raises his head t o look at Aizawa. He is still sipping on his tea, waiting patiently for Shoto to answer. As he notices Shotos movement, he puts down his tea, and leans forward.

“ Have you decided ?” 

Shoto nods.

“Then, let’s hear it.”

Shoto takes a moment, saying it seemed to have proven itself to be much more difficult than he imagined. But eventually, he would speak.

“ I don't need a professional, nor do I have any sort of connection to the other teachers..”

“...”

“...so you'll be ok with me?” 

Shoto nods.

"Great. Seeing as the first hour is almost over, we will leave it at that today. But how about we agree to a set time tomorrow, after school. It will take up some of your free time, but I'm sure you can spare some.” 

“...ok.”

“What do you think about 4pm?”

"That's fine.”

“Ok, then tomorrow at 4pm, same place. I will inform the school about your allowance to come here after school, to keep you out of trouble.”

“thanks..”

"Alright, you're good to go.” 

Shoto looks at the cup of tea he had left untouched.

“Don't worry about that, it won’t go to waste.”

“sorry..”

Shoto gets up, and walks towards the door. Without looking back, he opens it, and walks out. 

The halls are quiet. All he would hear are his footsteps, one after the other, slowly approaching his classroom. He already started to prepare possible excuses as to why Aizawa had called him, punishment, damage repair, maybe something unrelated to yesterday?

Soon enough, he reaches the door, way too big for its own good, and raises his hand to knock. At this point, he would be distracting the lesson, as it has already begun. He hears the teacher, Ectoplasm, explaining something. He waits until the voices disappear. And then, he knocks on the door, twice. The sound of his knocks would echo through the halls, and the footsteps within the classroom start to move towards him. The door opens.

“Ah Todoroki, there you are. Come in.”

Shoto steps inside, keeping his head low as to not look anyone in the eyes, and moves straight to his desk. 

“You didn't miss much, all we did was talk over the homework very quickly, I'm sure you did them with ease though. If not, feel free to ask. But for now, let's look at some new problems, please open your books to page…”

Shoto would feel the stares coming for him from all directions. He decides to focus on the task at hand. Math class. But that was easier said than done. He catches himself looking towards the right, at the seat right behind Katsuki. He wouldn’t keep his eyes there for long, but they would always return.

The situation calmed itself after the fourth class, he heard various whispers throughout the breaks, but continues to ignore them for now. He would soon have to face lunch break. He had wondered before how he would spend it, but that thought vanished as was approached by his friends. Three people stepped towards him. 

“Hey there, are you gonna join us for lunch?”

Ochaco said, with both Tenya and Izuku waiting close behind her. She had the same expression as before, warm and kind. It seems she has already forgiven him, somehow.

Shoto wouldn't be surprised really, he would always join them for lunch. Deep down, he knew, his friends would never hate him. But the guilt ate at him. He understood, but he couldnt accept it.

Shoto was nervous, knowing this meant potentially having to talk to Izuku or even sit next to him, as he usually does. But on the other hand, he felt almost hopeful, excited even. These conflicting emotions of his would lead him to take a few extra seconds to give her an answer. But he would nonetheless. 

“.. sure. ” 

“Great! Then let's go!” 

Ochaco turns back to go towards the two people waiting for her. He gets up, and slowly walks towards them as well. 

“I'm glad to hear you’ll be joining us today, Todoroki!”

Tenya said.

“Yea. I'm glad to have you back. But we can talk all about that after we get our food! I'm starving…"

Shoto feels a sort of normality coming back to him. Despite his horrible actions yesterday, despite being weird overall, they all smile at him, he couldn't stop repeating himself. His current reality.

He felt awkward, yet warm. Sick, yet healing.

The group begins to walk. Shoto had noticed Izuku looking at him for a few seconds. As unimportant as it sounds, he would continue to notice each and every action he takes. Yet, it didn't feel as though he did this for the first time. But rather, it's the first time he had realized just how much attention he had given him. Shoto can almost feel the two dots in his head forming a connecting string. 

Each of them gets their lunch, Shoto, of course, cold soba noodles. And Izuku, like always, katsudon. Now would come the thing he feared the most. Looking for a place to sit. He couldn't simply sit next to Izuku, as it is currently very awkward between them. But forcing a seat next to someone else would lead to more problems. He could only hope for a good opportunity to arise. 

The four of them chose the table they had used for almost every lunch break, one with only four chairs, two on one side, two on the other. This one had always been their favorite, since it's small enough to sit alone as a group, but also close enough to other tables in which their classmates usually sit. 

Shoto had walked behind them for the most part, so when it came down to choosing a seat, they would be first. As he arrives at the table, he takes a look at the seat he’d be stuck with, and then looks to the left. He and Izuku meet eye to eye for a few seconds, before quickly looking away, and sitting down, while making sure his seat is at the very edge of the table. He can feel his heart fucking tap dancing.

“Oh btw, you missed English, didn't you? We can go over what we did today after school? It's not much, I'm sure you'll get it fast!” 

Ochaco said, with a bubbly tone, as always…

“...thanks, but I'm not sure if I'll have the time..”

“Oh.. You're busy huh…” 

"Don't worry.”

He heard Izuku say next to him.

"I made sure to write down everything for you! Even if we don't see you later, you can just take a look at that.”

Their eyes meet once again, but this time, Izuku would smile at him, with the same soft, and kind expression he had always loved. He has seen it with Ochaco already, but he couldn't help asking himself, again. How could he be so normal, even after everything that had happened? How could they still treat him with such kindness? 

“Woah, so that's why you were writing so much! I was wondering why you seemed so motivated!”

“Truly, Midoriya, you always think of your friends first. I admire that about you.”

“Oh, It's nothing special... I just took some notes and explained some stuff…”

Izuku said, sheepishly. As the three continued talking, Shoto would feel his body warming up again. He felt happy. 

It almost feels as though nothing had happened, it felt normal. He had expected someone to punch holes into him, asking about Aizawa, or last night. Shoto remembers how much he loved his friends, because they knew him, they forgive him and accept him for who he is, even with all of his flaws, and mistakes he makes. 

If only that was enough to heal the growing pains in his chest, and weights on his shoulders. It wasnt.

The three of them finish their meals, and head back towards the classroom. First things first, he would face Izuku, who quickly grabbs something from his desk, and walks towards him. 

“Here you go!”

Izuku hands him a piece of paper, filled with different colors, text and examples. 

“You probably didn't need a whole sheet explaining this, it's simple enough I suppose, you'll see. But just to be safe. Oh! And you don't have to give it back to me, I made two of these.”

Shoto continues to look at the note.

He did all of this just to be sure? I saw him writing earlier today during the breaks, he really put in a lot of effort..why

Shoto looks up to meet his eyes. His expression was soft, tired.

“ Thank you.” 

Izuku looks surprised for a second. Then smiles. 

“I'm glad I could help!”

Chapter Text

Theoretical classes have officially ended, now would come everyone's favorite part of the day. Hero Training! They each grab their hero suits, and  walk towards the changing rooms, where they'd split up.

Today, they would have rescue training. The most important part of being a hero. They had already learned a lot during school, and during the various attacks they had experienced. But they would repeat the same lessons every year, to make sure they truly understand each and every part of a successful rescue mission. As he changes into his hero costume, Shoto starts to think about the upcoming lesson.

I'm guessing we do it like always, part one dummy rescue, part two real people. What kind of disaster will they recreate this time? I'm pretty sure we have seen about everything there is at this point. Maybe-

Shoto stops, as he hears people laughing in the background. 

“ Dude, what are you doing??”

“HAHA”

“How do you even manage to do that?”

“Midoriya, please get your head straight…”

“I'm sorry! I zoned out?? uh...”

Shoto turns around, and sees Izuku, who had somehow managed to put on his suit upside down… From behind, he can see his ears turning into a soft red tone. The rest can't seem to stop laughing about it. Shoto watches him take off his suit, revealing-  He quickly looks away. 

…

For a split second, he felt as though a knife had been stabbed into his chest, the warm blood slowly flowing out, covering his whole body. 

What the hell.

He returns to his own thoughts, while putting on his vest. 

Ok, where was I…right, Maybe…maybe…

…

He cannot concentrate.

.. I'll see in a few minutes anyway…

Shoto has finished changing. But for some unknown reason, he would be scared to turn around. So he continued to stare at his locker for a few seconds.

“Todoroki!” 

He hears from behind. It was Tenya.

“Are you ready to go?” 

“Yes.”

“Great! Now, Midoriya…"

“You guys can go ahead! I'll be right behind you..”

“If you say so. Make sure you're not late. Ok, let's go Todoroki!”

Tenya starts walking towards the door, they would be the last three to leave. Shoto follows Tenya out. But something inside himself told him to stop.

“ Todoroki? Did you forget something? We should hurry!”

Tenya turns around.

“Go ahead, I'll wait for Midoriya.”

Tenya stops, and turns again to looks at him.

“Alright, make sure the both of you make it in time!” 

Tenya smiled, then quickly walked towards the training grounds. Shoto had no idea what led him to do this. He should've just gone with Tenya, it's not like Izuku won't show up if no one is here to watch over him. But still, the thought of leaving him behind all by himself felt wrong. The thought of leaving him, felt wrong.

He leans against the wall next to the door, and waits. A comforting silence had surrounded him.

Shortly after, he would hear the one of the locker doors close, and footsteps rushing towards him. The door bursts open, and out comes Izuku, cutting the corner, preparing to run down the hallway. But he would quickly stop, as he sees Shoto standing in front of him.

They lock eyes. Shoto moves away from the wall, and starts walking towards the training ground. He would only take a single step before turning around, initiating Izuku to follow him. Izuku quickly picks up, and runs beside him.

“ Thanks for waiting!”

Izuku smiled. Shoto couldn't get enough of that face. He would gladly do anything to see Izuku happy, smiling like this.

...

The walk towards the grounds seemed awfully long. And they would hear each footstep they take, as they walk in silence. 

All sorts of emotions and thoughts would rush through his head. Of course, his heartbeat would sing along as well. He would keep his head facing slightly downwards the entire time. 

“Ah, there you are! You're lucky, we were just about to start!”

“Sorry Ida! My knee pads were being difficult…”

“Alright, I assume that's everyone.”

Aizawa begins to speak.

“Today, we will do our annual rescue training, including parts 1 and 2. We will start with dummies, like always. The school has prepared collapsing buildings for today's disaster, as they are the most commonly seen. While one person is rescuing, the rest will watch on the big screen. You know what to do at this point.”

“Alright! Same old, same old.”

“Oh, this'll be easy!”

His classmates seem confident.

"The dummy is placed in the basement of a multiple story building. Make sure you bring it out as clean as it was originally. And as always, make sure you yourselves make it out in one piece. As dumb as it sounds, I am legally obligated to tell you this. That's all for now.”

“The basement? Damn.”

“The first person to start will be you, Aoyama. Please stand on the X in front of the building, and wait for more instructions.” 

Today's training went like any other. Each of them successfully rescued the dummy. Some used simple strategies, some came up with smart, new ways to make sure the dummy came out of there alive. 

They would wrap up, and leave to go back to their dorms. 

Shoto looks at the time, 2:45pm. He had a little more than an hour until meeting with Aizawa. He would use that time to take a bath. He finished up, got dressed, and returned to his room. 

3:15pm. Enough time to quickly look over the notes Izuku had given him. He sits down by his desk, opens his backpack, and takes out the note.

He reads it carefully. It wouldn't take long to understand the structure of the sentences, and the theory behind them. Izuku had done well, explaining in a way Shoto could easily follow.

3:45pm. Shoto has a little more time to spare. He takes out his phone. He had overheard the girls talking about a music app, “Spotify”, it was downloaded , even including a premium account. Apparently, Mina started a family account for all the girls, but soon realized most of them would only listen to music while with her, not using it on their own. So she gave it out to various other people, one of them including Shoto. He never used it before. Until now, that is.

He types out a certain song, and plays it, on loop. As the song plays, he slowly lowers his head towards his desk, and rests it within his arms.  

Different kinds of memories started rushing through his head, as he closed his eyes, and let himself drift away. He would think about today, when he walked down the hall with Izuku. He thought about the note Izuku had written for him. He thought about his smile, his way of talking, and today's rescue mission, which Izuku passed with flying colors. His mind drifts further. He thinks about the time they had spent together during summer break. The time they went to the park, the cinema or shopping. He remembers the sports festival, all the way back when they were first years. He remembers their fight like it happened yesterday. 

Soon, he would have heard the beginning of the song three times. He opens his eyes, and lifts his head to look at the time, 3:54pm. 

What, what's with today??

He sighs, and jumps up, sprinting towards the door. He opens it, and runs down the hallway, passing the living room, right to the door. 

He quickly puts on his shoes. He would hear people behind him asking where he was going, but there was no time to spare. 

He runs towards the school, to the room they had agreed to meet up at. As he arrives, he notices the open door, and carefully steps inside. 

“ Good afternoon. ”

Aizawa greets him.

“You care for a cup of tea?” 

“..no, thanks.” 

“ Ok then. Take a seat.”

Shoto walks towards the same couch he had sat on yesterday. And lowers himself. 

“ You did great during training. I assume today has been a little less stressful?” 

“.. yes.”

“Good to hear.”

“...” 

“I'll get right to business. I'd like to talk more about yesterday. If I ask you again now, will you still tell me the reason for your outburst was a nightmare that messed you up?”

Shoto hesitates for a moment.

“... no.”

“I see. Then, will you tell me the real reason?”

He hesitates once again.

“...i really only used it to slightly cool myself down at first.”

…

“...But?”

He takes a deep breath.

“But then… I closed my eyes and, just kept going. I was trying so hard to keep myself together. I blanked out everything else.” 

“The pain was so unbearable, you felt like you had to freeze yourself to stop it?” 

“...”

“I'll take that as a yes.”

“...”

“ Why did you lie? Not just to me, pretty much the entire class. It's not like I don't understand, but I'd like you to tell me anyway.”

“..i didn't want them to worry.”

"Why? This class is pretty much known for being worried, and helping others without their permission.. They care about you.”

“That's why I tried so hard. My problem, it wasn't worth getting worried over. It's not even worth my actions.”

“Not worth the worry?”

“...”

“Don't you think something that can make you do such things in the first place is worth worrying about? It may not mean anything to me, but I, and your classmates, can tell how much it's troubling you. That alone makes it worth worrying about.”

“...”

“What happened during the competition? Was the main reason the same?”

Shoto was taken aback.

“...yes.”

“You lost on purpose, didn't you. Why?”

“...”

If I'm honest here, I'm basically gonna confirm it. I'm not sure if I want that to be known here…

“I'd rather not say.”

"Why's that?”

“...”

“Will it reveal something you don't want me to know?”

He jumps a bit.

He’s sharp…

“I see.”

“...”

…

…

“Team yellow.”

Aizawa suddenly starts.

“That's who you didn't want to win against. They had just lost, leaving orange as the last competitor. Your loss would have meant yellow and orange fight for the win, and your disqualification, of course. Were you trying to avoid something?”

“...” 

Shoto holds his breath. He keeps his head low.

“I'm sorry, I know you said you don't want to reveal it. But I just want to make sure I can leave you alone safely again. Anything you say within this room, will stay in this room. I am not legally obligated to keep my mouth shut, but you can trust me when I say this. I will keep my mouth shut, and I won't sound any opinions either.”

“...” 

“I'll continue then. Can I assume you were avoiding something?”

Shoto nods.

“ Something meaning, team orange, or just the win itself? You did seem troubled as you realized you had won.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“... i didn't care about winning or not.”

He said, with a soft, yet crumbling voice.

“So team orange, meaning…Ojiro and Midoriya, right?”

Shoto nods, carefully.

“ I'm not sure why you'd want to avoid either of them to be honest, isn't Midoriya one of your best friends? And Ojiro seems quite reserved, not someone you'd have trouble with..”

“...”

Aizawa sits back, and closes his eyes, as if he is thinking about something.

“...”

“...”

“.......”

“I watched a recording of your fight yesterday. You played awfully defensive. Barely letting Midoriya close to you. And then you ran away, got captured, then ran again. You saw Kirishima, and captured Ojiro.  Kirishima seemed mad, and then you talked, until you split up. It wasn't just you, Midoriya acted strange as well. Attacking non-stop, then leaving you alone completely. And I remember him telling you something. What was it?”

Aizawas analytical skills scared the living hell out of him. He wasn't surprised, though, Aizawa has analyzed thousands of battles in his life, he is a pro, after all.

The silence continues.

“...”

“...’

…

“So it's Midoriya then?”

Shoto sighs quietly.

No point in hiding, he will just figure it out anyway..

Shoto begins to speak, carefully.

“...he screamed at me to, stop…avoiding him.”

“I see.”

...

“Everything to this point is because of something that happened between you and Midoriya?”

“...not exactly…”

“You're right, you seemed to be getting along today. I'm guessing the problem isn't gone though, right?”

He nods.

“So it's one-sided?”

He nods again.

“Coming from you? What kind of problem do you have with him?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Now that I think about it, you do keep on staring at him during class. I almost called you out for it, I'm glad I didn't.”

Shotos heart skipped a beat, and his eyes widen. 

“ Did I hit a nerve?”

No. Was it that obvious??

“...”

“Never underestimate teachers, our eyes are everywhere.”

...

Shoto can feel his entire body tensing up again, now he doesn't just feel exposed, he feels as though he had lost any kind of dignity he could ever have. 

“ That's all I needed to know. I can paint the rest of the picture myself.”

Shoto feels utterly defeated, and slowly looks up, to meet his teacher's eyes.

“Like I said, nothing will leave this room. But I'm not sure if I'll be of much help. But I can certainly try-”

“No, I mean, I'm sorry, I'm fine…”

“...”

“...”

“Alright kid, I'll let you go. You seemed to have progressed with your problem. I trust you to handle it alone, under one condition.”

“...”

“If you ever feel hopeless, or think about stupid things, you come right to me, or your classmates, if that's more comfortable for you. Don't swallow everything up and lie again, got it?”

“... understood.”

“Good, have a good night. And don't worry too much about this. I'll be on your side, no matter the problem. You are one of my students, after all.”

Shoto feels something warm coming from Aizawa, strangely warm and caring. He always knew, but never really realized, just how much their teacher cared about them.

“Thank you.”

“Don't mention it.”

Chapter Text

Shoto exits the small room once again, leaving Aizawa behind. The halls are as quiet, and hollow, as always. He himself had just figured out that love is what messed him up this much, and yet Aizawa seemed to have figured it out with ease, in less than a few days as well.

Still, he would leave the school with a warm feeling. As nervous as he was, having to deal with this, and his teacher pressing on him, he was glad to have finally opened up about something. 

Things he had hidden deep, deep inside him.

More like forced to, but, he felt relieved nonetheless. Even if everything goes to shit, he has someone to turn to, someone he trusts. 

Shoto soon reaches the door to their dorms, he can hear cheery voices from inside. He reaches for the handle, and presses it down. The sound of the door wasn't loud, yet, he seemed to have silenced the living room. But it wouldn't last long, as his classmates called out to him shortly after.

“Hey! There you are. Where have you gone?”

He heard Eijiro say, sitting on the couch, which is fully loaded, as usual. Shoto walks towards the group, carefully.

“...had a meeting.”

“ Meeting? What meeting?”

Eijiro replied. But Shoto wouldn't need to answer that, as Ochaco forced herself into the conversation.

“Oh yea! You did say you were busy! Talking about busy, did you already look over the notes Deku gave you?”

…

“.. i did.”

“Oh yea, you missed English. Dont tell me you already clocked it???”

Ochaco has successfully changed the topic to another, leading Eijiro to ask about classes instead. Shoto feels his nerves calming down a bit.

“...it wasn't that difficult, besides…”

He takes a moment.

“... the notes explained it well.” 

“Man seriously? I still dont understand crap. Hey, can I see those notes?”

Denki jumped into the conversation.

“Like that'd make a difference…”

Kyoka whispered.

“Now what is that suppose to be. Why u always gotta be so mean…”

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But hey, maybe those magical notes will make you understand English for once. I'd love to see it!”

Kyoka giggles, padding Denki on the shoulder. 

“Oh! If you need help, I'd be very glad to help you!”

Momo said enthusiastically, leaning towards Kyoka, who sits right next to her.

“See? Who needs a note if you have private lessons from the class genius herself.”

“Jiro, please… I'm no Genius…”

Momo seems flustered.

“And humble!”

“OK can we STOP talking about school please? I'm too tired for this…”

“Alright, but remember Kaminari, I'm always happy to help if you need it!”

“Got it… Thanks…”

The conversation has completely shifted from himself to Denki. Somehow. And the rest seemed to have enjoyed the interaction enough to not start another conversation with him.

Shoto was glad to keep the notes to himself, he did not want to share them.

He decides to go back to his room. But before he would do that, he'd have a quick look around the area. The person he was looking for didn't seem to be here. He turns around.

Back in his room, he closed the door, and lets out a sigh. This day has been a lot, but what set his mood in this specific moment would be Izuku's absence. It's no big deal, of course, better even. But it's unusual for him to be in his room this early, before dinner. 

He walks towards his desk. Sits down. 

I wonder what he's doing. Homework maybe? But I'm pretty sure we didn't get any today. Even if that'd be the case, he does them quickly, right after school. He always said, better get them done now, so he can enjoy the rest of the day. Besides, usually Ida, Uraraka and I join him. … 

Suddenly, his mind, would fill itself with a certain word. Reminding him of his current dilemma.

… … … 

Love…after everything I've read online. … Seriously?

He lowers his head onto the desk, hiding it within his arms.

Seriously? To think i- To think I'd even-...

He struggles to even think about it. Each sentence makes him feel awkward. But he remembers the words Aizawa had told him, “Dont swallow everything up and Lie again, got it?”. Dont lie. A sentence not only meaning to others, but also himself.

He pulls out his phone. The song that made him crazy turned out to become something he connects to comfort. Because even if he couldn't admit it to himself yet, the lyrics could. He felt as though the lyrics would take over the difficult part, the being honest part, and squish it together into a nice melody. It felt distant, yet awfully close.

He lets the song play on loop. Carefully listening to each and every word, connecting it with various situations in his life. Of course, always including Izuku. He lets the lyrics sink in, more, and more. Each time it repeated, he would agree with its words more, and more. Until eventually, a text message came in, interrupting the song. It was Mina, telling him to come out for dinner.

Shoto felt slight annoyance. This moment had been so peaceful. He wanted to continue listening, which was pretty much impossible, as he does not own headphones. Nonetheless, he gets up, and walks towards the living room.

Dinner would go on as usual, he spots Izuku sitting beside Ochaco and Tenya, as always. And he'd sit next to Tenya, not as always. He does feel less nervous around Izuku, but doesn't feel like pushing himself just yet. Before he left to go back to his room, he would walk towards Kyoka.

“Hey.”

“Oh… Hey. What's up?”

Kyoka looks surprised, but softened up soon after, leaving a relaxed expression behind.

“Do you have any spare headphones, by chance?”

“Headphones? Sure, I've got some. You want wire, or wireless?”

“Anything works.”

“Okay, sure, ill go get em real quick.”

Kyoka walks towards her room, and returns with a small white box.

“I kept it simple, felt like these fit you more. You know how wireless works, right?”

She hands them to Shoto.

“I'm, not sure I do, actually.”

“Ok, no prob. Gimme your phone. Dont worry, I won't do anything.”

Kyoka opens the little box, revealing two small round like objects, and pulls them out. Simultaneously, she opens Bluetooth and connects them to Shotos phone.

“And now you're connected. All you gotta do is click this, then go there…and when those little lights on the earphones turn green, that means ur in. Easy right? Go ahead, try it out.”

Kyoka holds out her hands, he takes one of the earphones, and puts it in. He would've played his song, if only he didn't fear Kyoka remembering it. He wouldn't expose himself that easily. Instead, he clicks something at random, and lets it play. And who would've thought, it worked.

“Woah, you even use Spotify. Didn't know you're into music now.”

“I thought I'd try..”

“Cool! Trust me you won't regret it. Drowning in the music, especially with headphones, is the best feeling. Especially during rainy days.”

“I see, thank you.”

“No worries!”

Kyoka hands Shoto the other earphone, and the little box containing them.

“ Btw, they're yours now. So no need to give em back to me.”

“... Are you sure?”

He said, surprised.

“Yea! I've got my own, and they were kinda uselessly lying around anyway. If anything, I'm glad they finally get some use.”

“In that case, ill gladly take them. Thank you again.”

“You go and enjoy some songs now, k?”

Shoto nods, and Kyoka smiles. She seems happy. 

They part ways, and Shoto returns to his room. As he enters, he immediately puts on the second earphone, and continues where he left off. Sitting by his desk, head in his arms, and the song, now flowing directly into his brain.

As Shoto enjoys the new-found immersion he gained with the headphones, he asked himself why he hadn't done so earlier. He could’ve fallen asleep right then and there. But decided to fall asleep to the music in his bed, instead of his desk. It is fascinating, how one can listen to the same thing over, and over again, without getting bored, or annoyed at it. 

That night, Shoto would have a dream. A rare occasion, he usually only gets nightmares, and when he did dream normally, he'd forget about it immediately. This one would be different.

Shoto opens his eyes, and realizes himself standing inside the living room. Nothing out of the ordinary, he saw his classmates, his friends, talking, laughing. But he would be looking out for someone else. The person standing in the dark hallway next to him. He runs towards the hallway, towards that person. They turn around, greeting him with a big smile. 

Izuku would look at him, stare even, for quite some time. Shoto suddenly realized that there has been music playing in the background all this time. It was his song. Then, he feared, what if Izuku can hear the lyrics as well? Shoto reaches towards his ears, but cant seem to find the earphones, since there weren't any to begin with. He couldn't stop the music from playing. Izuku speaks, “What are you listening to?” Shoto jumps, “Nothing.” “Are you serious?” “What?” Izuku steps closer, “Are you serious?” Shoto felt paralyzed, unable to move, he lets Izuku step closer.

“Yea”. Izuku smiles. Shoto´s eye close, as he felt something embrace him. He felt his body heating up, heart rate reaching height's it shouldn't reach. He opens his eyes once again.

It's dark. He's not in the hallway anymore. He can recognize the ceiling, the feeling of this room. It's his own. He turns his head, laying right next to him is Izuku, looking at him as softly as ever. Shoto feels as though the song that had been playing gained volume. Shoto stares at him, even through the darkness, he would see Izuku as brightly as always. For a split second, he thought, can time just stay still right this moment? Could he stay here with Izuku forever?

The answer was no. 

His vision blurs, and then, he opens his eyes, it was only just a dream ~

The room is suddenly much brighter, covered in a soothing orange tone. He reaches towards his ears, and takes out the headphones, which had been playing his song on loop the entire night. He lets go of them, letting them fall to the ground. He could hear the song playing through them, ever so silently. He takes a few minutes to gather himself, blankly staring at the ceiling. Shoto realized, it was only just a dream. 

Then, his alarm starts ringing. It's 6am. 

Shoto reaches towards his phone, and quickly shuts up the awful ringing sound radiating through the room. He slowly lifts up his body.

The silence, only disrupted by the birds' melody, gave Shoto enough motivation to get out of bed, and walk towards the bathroom. 

He reaches towards the door, and opens it, finding Tenya standing in front of one of the sinks. He would be second today.

“Good morning Todoroki!”

“Good morning.”

“May I ask you something?”

“...of course.”

Shoto was taken aback by the speed of his questioning.

“How are you?”

“... what?”

“I am just worried about you, thats all. How are you feeling?”

Shoto seemed surprised, yet, not surprised at all, since it was one of his closest friends talking to him. He knows how much they care for him. He knows. 

At the same time, a word shoots through his head. Lie. He wouldn't lie to his friends, especially if it's avoidable. Not anymore.

“Sorry for acting strange these last couple of days. I've been kind of stressed. But I think I'm gaining control over it. Slowly.”

“I see, is it still school work that stresses you out? Dedication is good, but overworking oneself is quite the opposite.”

“It's not school, something else, I'd…rather not talk about..”

“... Of course, I will respect your wishes. But if you ever need anything, we’re always here for you.”

Shoto lets loose a smile, it was small, but apparent enough for Tenya to notice .

“I know. Thanks.”

Tenya smiles back.

“Always, now, let's get ready, shall we.”

Shoto gets a first look at his face. His hair stands up, messy to the root, and his eyes seem tired. But after brushing his teeth, a quick splash of water, and a head shake, he’d be ready to face the day.

His other classmates would enter the bathroom, one after the other, but he'd be gone before it got too crowded. He returns to his room to put on his uniform, and pack up the books he would need today. Then, he’d look at the time.

6:20. He sits down by his desk, and lowers his head, hiding it within his arms. Shoto enjoys a few minutes to himself, and getting some more sleep in before going out. After a few minutes of silence, his mind would eventually drift to Izuku, as it has been doing a lot nowdays…he would think about the dream he had. For some reason, he remembered pretty much all of it. Or at least the important bits. He caught himself longing to return to that moment.

He would think back to the various sites he visited online, explaining the feeling of love. Sentences would shoot through his head, “The desire to be close to them” “a long-lasting emotional connection”.

When was the last time we hung out together? All I can think of are the small conversations we'd have. No, it's my fault, I was the one avoiding him. I should apologize. 

As he thought, he would feel his nerves getting to him.

Even thinking about talking to him makes me…nervous. Why am I being so difficult…

Luckily enough, Shoto would not have to continue thinking about his own mistakes, as he takes a look at the time, 7:00. He gets up, and makes his way to the living room.

He would hear his classmates talking in the halls, a very familiar feeling, comforting even, as if nothing had ever disturbed his routine, his peace. As he scans the room, he would find Izuku standing next to Sato handing out breakfast like always, bowl in hand, talking. Izuku turns to look at him. Shoto felt an arrow shoot through his body, and quickly averts his eves from Izuku, but keeps his eyes in range to see each and every motion Izuku would take. As Shoto begins to move towards Sato, he would see Izuku stepping towards him. Shoto looks up. 

“Good Morning Todoroki!”

Izuku said. He would smile, like he always did, the softest smile anyone has ever given him. His bright emerald eyes shine in the soothing morning sun. He looks down towards his hands to see a bowl in the right hand, and another in the left. 

“Here.”

Shoto struggled to realize his situation, it seems like his mind has stopped working for a good 10 seconds. He carefully takes the bowl Izuku has shifted towards him. He looks up.

“... thank you.”

No answer, just a big smile. And a long one. A few seconds pass. Shoto could feel his body heating up.

“Uh, right, let's go eat!” 

Izuku said, sheepishly, now quickly turning around and walking towards the table. Shoto watches him for a few seconds before following him. He watches Izuku stop right in front of the seats, looking right, then left, before turning and walking towards the seat next to Tenya. To his surprise, usually Izuku would sit next to Ochaco.

Shoto scans the seats. It was two free seats, then Izuku, Tenya and Ochaco, a single free seat, then Sero, Denki and so on.

Shoto stood in front of a huge decision. Every part of him screaming to walk towards Izuku, yet his brain quietly whispering to take a single seat next to Ochaco. Shoto would only have a few seconds to decide, yet he didn't decide at all.

Naturally, he walks towards Izuku, and as he did, he questioned himself, each step, if he should turn around. He did not. 

He sits down, looking at his bowl, and only his bowl. He would hear Tenya and Ochaco talking, and Izuku eventually joining in. Shoto listened, ate, and tried his hardest to stay calm, which he wasn't. 

Not a single word was spoken, and yet, Shoto felt at peace. Still nervous, but glad at the same time. He would enjoy sitting close to Izuku, hearing him talk next to him, occasionally feeling his arm move closer, his body moving away, then coming back again. He hasn't noticed before, just how much he missed having Izuku around, missed being close to him, talking, laughing. The more time passes, the more he yearned to look at him, move closer. But he would quickly delete those thoughts, as he notices his classmates leaving, 7:30. 

He gets up, puts his bowl into the dishwasher, grabs his bag, and walks towards the door. 

The rest of the day would go as usual, classes, homework, breaks. Shoto would sit next to Izuku again during lunch. His strategy stayed the same, yet his nerves didn't seem to have calmed down at all. He would have to do this more often to get used to again. The thought warms him. Izuku would smile at Shoto, more often than he remembered from before. Perhaps he simply missed them before, or maybe they were new, formed just for him. 

Shoto shakes this idea out of his mind.

Finally, the best part of each day arrived. Hero training. The class moves towards the changing rooms. Shoto wouldn't look anywhere near Izuku. He would tell himself, he wouldn't let his impulsive thoughts win this time.

Shoto turns around. Izuku turns, looking right at him. Shoto turns away.

Shit

Today would be the second part of the rescue training, this time including real people. Everyone arrives at the scene. Aizawa steps forward.

“ Alright, shut up and listen. We'll be doing a single rescue mission today, with a partner acting as the victim. As you can image, we'll be needing groups of two, random.”

The class sighed. 

“ Get used to it. Now, we'll be doing this quick. I have a box with all of your names, I will take out two at a time and call them out. Please try to remember who your partner is, I'll only say this once. Now then…”

Aizawa puts his hands into the box, and pulls out two pieces of paper at a time, reading out each name.

“ Hagakure, Sero. Denki, Sato. Momo, Jiro...”

He takes out the next two. But pauses suddenly. He takes a quick look at Shoto, then continues.

“Todoroki, Midoryia.”

Chapter Text

Oh god

Shoto felt his body sink. He looks towards Izuku, who looks towards him as well. They share a few seconds of awkward eye contact.

“Well! Looks like we're a team!”

“...yea.”

Shoto is torn, very torn. How can one be so incredibly torn between two opposite extremes. 

“Alright, let's get moving.”

Aizawa finhsed calling out the teams.

“Where to?”

Someone said.

“USJ.”

The class cheered, they hadn't been there since the incident during first year. The school had to rebuild it, and upgrade the security system. Though, the danger levels should be far lowered, since they were able to defeat the league of villains after their first attack. But the backlash the school faced would prove itself enough to take the issue more than serious, and with the most care.

The class moves towards the bus. A short 10-min ride would escort them to the huge sphere like space, filled with various disasters reaching from water, ice, earth, destruction, fire and much more. They enter, Aizawa steps forward.

“Now, then, let me explain the procedure. Each team will have one person acting as the hero, and the other as the Victim, as I mentioned before. The Victim gets to freely decide which disaster they want to put themselves in. The hero, naturally, will try to save them with a time limit of 5min. After the first rescue, you switch, hero turns into Victim and so forth. As always, the both of you should come out save, and alive. The Victims will give the heroes feedback on their rescue. And ill say this now, do not go easy on anyone. You are training to save lives, being nice to your friends will only hurt them. So dont even think about it.”

“...”

“Thats all, let's get right to it. Is any team willing to start first? If not, I will choose.”

Tenya raises his hand, he and Tsuyu would begin, after them, the rest of the teams started their training. Each victim chose a disaster they thought were most difficult with the hero's quirk and usual rescue style. But even with the high difficulty, all of them would pass, successfully saving their partner. Aizawa looks proud, at his students, and future pro heroes. 

Now would be Shotos turn. Him and Izuku. 

Izuku will play the victim first. He has chosen a sunken ship as the disaster, putting himself in a situation in which he drowns.

Shoto would shake his head, getting himself together, and focus on the task at hand, rescue training. Aizawa walks towards him.

“Midoriya is in place, start in 3, 2, 1… Go.”

The 5min timer starts, and Shoto quickly makes his way to the ship, freezing the floor, and using his fire as a boost. Placing himself on top of the broken roof, he scans the water.

Izuku is nowhere to be seen. Shoto jumps in, this time using both legs to shoot out fire and ice to create an engine. He searches the area right next to, and under the ship, and eventually, he would see Izuku, floating in the water.

He felt his air supply running low, too low to swim as far down as Izuku has placed himself in. As far down as he placed himself in? Why on earth is he this deep down?? Shoto watches Izuku, and the many bubbles escaping from his mouth, clutching his throat, holding his mouth. Suddenly, Shoto felt a deep, cutting fear grow inside him. He would only have a second. A second to decide. He himself could barely hold on to his breath at this point, he is only a few seconds away from the surface. It would be much smarter to quickly go up, secure himself of any danger. But something deep inside of him had taken away this choice.

His body moves before he could think, deep down to where Izuku floats. Shoto would feel the pain in his lungs growing worse, and worse, the deeper he swam. Even with his engines, the way down felt long, and dreadful. Shoto would feel himself losing control, but reaches Izuku nonetheless. His body has entered a state of panic, as if this is a real, life or death situation. Movement quicker, thinking faster.

In a quick Motion, he grabs Izuku, faces his body downwards, and shoots out fire and ice from both of his legs and arm. The sudden burst of energies threw them into the sky, and creates a hole in the water, followed by a huge splash, mixed with flames and ice raining from above. They fly through the air, barely holding on to each other. Shoto felt something embracing him. 

Shoto grasped for air, before turning downward to create a huge ice wall, curved, allowing them to slide down rather safely. Shoto would finally lose his grip on Izuku as they slide towards the bottom, reaching speeds he could only counter with a defensive position, leading to a rough landing with both parties flipping and turning. His mind has completely shut off, his one and only thought, keeping Izuku save.

He wouldn't lose a single second, as soon as he regained even the smallest amount of footing would be the moment his body jumped up, reaching towards Izuku, who still laid to his side. His body was shivering, so even if he tried to get up and run towards him, it wouldn't let him, at least not as fast as he would like it to. It took him a second try to be able to reach Izuku. 

Shoto grabs his shoulder, turning him to face the sky. Izuku stares right into his eyes.

Shoto feels like a huge weight fall off his shoulders. Now, he would realize his heartbeat, his breathing, his phisical being. He would close his eyes for a few seconds, before getting up, and reaching out a hand to Izuku. Izuku eyes were still locked on him, surprised, breathing heavily, in, and out. He grabs Shotos hand, and gets up.

“...”

“Using your quirk as a power source…”

Izuku starts, slowly. 

“I imagined you would. You found me pretty fast, and got me out even faster. The destruction was mild due to the water, well…the landing was pretty rough, but we're both alive and well, and thats really all that counts, right? I'd say you did a great job considering the situation!”

No answer. His eyes locked on Izuku, his wet hair, the water drops escaping his face, landing on the ground, his eyes shining in the sunlight. Shoto´s emotions were all over the place, reaching from fear to relief, worry to anger. He had so much he wanted to say, scream out. If only he was brave enough. If only he knew where to begin. 

“Todoroki?..”

“...”

They hear footsteps closing in. They turn their heads to see Aizawa right next to them.

“Are you two ok?”

“Oh yes! We're fine, right?”

Shoto nods.

“Alright.”

Shoto notices Aizawa looking at him, as if he was meaning to say something.

“Are you alright to keep going?”

Shoto knew exactly what he meant. He wasn't concerned for his physical condition, but rather his mental state. But he wouldn't let his emotions get to him this time. He knew the reason, and he had Aizawa looking out for him. He was determined to finish this class without risking his own well-being, neither his relationship to Izuku, nor anyone else. 

“I'm fine, I can finish this.”

He whispered. Aizawa took another good look at him.

“Good. Let's get you two dry first. Meanwhile, decide your disaster, and Midoriya, you prepare for what is to come.”

“Understood.”

They said in union, right before walking back to the rest of the class. Aizawa had already prepared various Items such as med kits, heating patches, soft ice packs, and, towels.

They dry themselves off as much as they can, while Shoto thought about the disaster he would put himself in.

Alright, I can do this. All I need to do is act unconscious, less chance for interactions... Sounds easy enough. I was thinking about choosing a water related disaster as well, but I cant chose the same thing again. Collapsed buildings? Too easy for him. Mountains? Same thing. Fire? Midoriya is pretty flexible, but fire could prove itself to be more difficult. Especially if I hide under rubble or debris. He won't be able to cause much of a destruction, and his movement alone will more concentration than usual. Fire it is.

“Are you ready?”

He hears Aizawas voice beside him.

“Ready.” 

“ Then let's get moving, where are you going?”

“Fire zone.” 

“I see. Go ahead, you have 10 minutes.”

Shoto makes his way to the big round enclosure holding the burning city within. He carefully opens the door, and gets greeted by a heatwave, surrounding his entire body in flames. Luckly, he is pretty resistant to fire due to his quirk, and can simultaneously cool himself with his other side.

He walks through the ruins, deep into the center, and enters a building nearby. Before going further, he stops to make himself a small ice shield. He was supposed to act as a victim, but wouldn't want to actually get hurt. Especially not after he remembered himself, how he felt when he saw someone important to him in danger. Not that Izuku feels the same…

It was once a two-story building, with 4 windows on each floor. He would walk up the stairs, and position himself under the rubles of a collapsed room.

They were safe to be under, of course. Since the USJ is specifically built to simulate disasters of any kind, they build in certain situations, such as this one, into the areas. The collapsed room was completely filled with the rubles, leaving barely any space to the sides, flames escaping from within, and a big hole leading to the room above. There was a little space, human sized, in the bottom front, enhanced with a black material, meaning to keep one save under the rubble. Once put in place, he would lay on his side, and wait. 

He would hear the crackle of the fire all around him. No footsteps, just himself and his own heart. Which was beating fast, faster than it should. Once again he would find himself to be nervous, not because of the fire, but rather of the idea of Izuku carrying him back to safety. He suddenly rethought his initial intent to act unconscious. He should just act out a broken leg, avoid having Izuku carry him. But at this point, he would have to face him directly, walk right next to him, look, and talk to him, alone. He decided to stay unconscious. 

Time passes, Shoto wondered if it had already been 10 minutes, maybe 15. He had lost count, but didn't really care, with everything else flying around in his head. He continues to listen to the fire, his heart, and his own breathing, as he lays there, eyes closed, waiting. 

Then, something changed, new noises appeared. Footsteps, pretty par away still, and small lightning like noises. He was close. Shoto keeps his eyes shut, carefully listening to each and every sound he can pick up. Then, the footsteps come back, quiet, then louder, and closer, until he hears them right in front of him.

He felt something grabbing him from under his arms, pulling him out of the rubble. He wouldn't move, wouldn't open his eyes, wouldn't breathe. He felt Izuku next to him, his hands moving behind his back, under his legs, and lifting him up. As soon as he did, he would take off, running back to the entrance.

For the first time, Shoto felt…calm. Weirdly enough, he was never in any danger to begin with, and his heartbeat was far away from calmness, yet, he felt safe. As he laid there, in Izukus arms, leaning against his chest, he would listen.

Listen to each step Izuku took, each breath he takes, and for a split second, he thought to have heard Izukus heartbeat as well. The moment wouldn't last for long, but for him, it felt like an eternity, and a flash at the same time. As if this moment never ends, but also went by much faster than he thought.

He feels himself being lowered, as the door opens. Shoto opens his eyes, now standing up, looking at the bright sun outside the USJ. The door behind him closes, and as he turns around, he sees Izuku, softly looking his way. To their left would be Aizawa heading towards them once again. He was still far away, far enough to have a few moments alone. 

“How was I?”

Izuku said, intrigued.

“... well, you got me out save, as expected… a flawless rescue.”

Shoto would try to look Izuku in the eyes, but finds himself looking away again.

“Glad to hear.”

He didn't see his expression, but his voice sounded soothing. Quiet, and soft. 

Aizawa would reach them eventually, this time immediately leading them back to the group, where they would analyze and grade each of their performances. His classmates would punch holes into them, asking about what happened during the first rescue.

“Were you actually in danger, Midoriya??”

They heard Mina say.

“Well…”

“That landing was pretty rough…”

“Dude, you actually looked scared for a second, what happened?”

Questions from left to right, Izuku couldn't even get a word in.

“How about you shut up and give them time to explain.”

Aizawa interrupted them, finally giving Izuku the chance to speak.

“I wasn't in danger! Well, I did kind of overestimate my lung capacity…but I knew I was gonna be saved.”

“You almost drowned, believed in Todoroki saving you, then continued to drown?”

“NO, well, I suppose… No! I mean, if things got dangerous, I would have-”

"You almost drowned?!”

“Guys please.”

“No wonder Todoroki made a huge scene, you were actually drowning!”

“You are crazy sometimes…”

Shoto listened, keeping his head low. He has been drowning in thoughts since being rescued. He thought about Izuku, his lifeless body floating in the depths of the water. His feelings, his actions.

He thought about Izuku carrying him through the flames. Feeling his presence close to him, his breathing, his heart.

But most importantly, he thought about Izuku fiercely embracing him as they flew through the air. It was a very short moment, he himself barely noticed, since he was more focused on not dying. But now, he would rethink it, over, and over again. The voices started to fly over his head. 

Eventually, though, the voices would quiet down, and people would start moving towards the exit. It seemed as though class was over. Wait, its over?

Aren't we supposed to talk about our performance? Did they forget? 

Shoto sent a confused look towards Aizawa. 

“Something wrong?”

Aizawa answered.

“We didn't talk about our grading.”

"We did.”

“What? When?”

“Just now, what were you thinking about getting you this lost.”

“...”

“Never mind. Ill repeat it for you. Both of you passed. You did make a wrong decision, endangering yourself by not swimming up first, but, this is what It's like to be a hero sometimes. You move without thinking, and put yourself in dangerous situations. Just look at Midoriya, he is the prime example of sacrificing yourself… You successfully rescued him, and got out save as well, thats all that matters.”

“... I see.”

“How are you holding up?”

“I'm fine.”

“Alright, ill take your word for it. But remember, if you are ever not, you know where to go.”

“Of course.”

“Then let's get moving, the bus is already waiting for us.”

Shoto turns around to face the exit, but instead, he faced his friends, who seemed to have waited for him. Ochaco, Tenya, and of course, Izuku, would look at him patently. 

He would feel something slightly pushing him from behind, leading him to move forward. It was Aizawa, still behind him, waiting for them to leave. His friends would smile at him.

“Ready to go?”

Ochaco said, as kind as always.

“Ready. … sorry to keep you waiting.”

“No worries!”

She replied. They start moving, walking towards the bus. 

During the ride to USJ, Shoto sat next to Fumikage. He intended to do the same thing for the ride back.

They were the last to arrive, and Shoto would be the last student to enter. He scanned the bus, primarily looking for Fumikage, who he found, sitting at the far back of the bus, in the long row of seats, next to Tsuyu, who sat next to Ochaco, who sat next to Tenya. Shoto would quickly realize his dilemma, as he also saw Izuku, standing, looking left to right, eventually finding a free pair of seats. Shoto once again stood in front of a decision to make. He only had a few nanoseconds this time around, does he walk towards Izuku, or does he chose to sit alone.

His decision was taken away, again, as he watches Izuku turn around, waving at him to come over. It looks like Shoto wouldn't be able to relax just yet. 

He sits down. His heartbeat jumps up. He looks everywhere, except Izuku's way. 

The bus starts moving. The first few minutes were long, very long, and quiet, so very quiet, even thought the bus itself was filled with various noises of various calibers. But soon, Izuku would break the silence.

“Todoroki?”

Shoto felt a scare run thought his body, before turning his head to face Izuku.

“I was actually meaning to ask you something.”

“...go ahead.”

Shoto cant for the life of him keep his eyes where he wants them to stay. It's like they have their own mind, running from Izuku's as if he somehow scared them. 

“I heard from Uraraka that Ashido does Movie nights with the girls every now and then. Uraraka said they have snacks and blankets, and they would get noise complaints whenever they watched a scary movie.. I recently asked Ashido if I could borrow her laptop sometime, I thought it was a fun idea, so… I was wondering…if thats something you'd be interested in?”

A movie night? With the four of us then. I'm sure I can handle it. …Like I could refuse...

Shoto was surprised, yet exited. He would finally spend his time with his friends again after school, hopefully, without any more trouble. But he would still fear Izuku. Lucky for him, he thought, they wouldn't be alone. He could simply stick to Tenya, or Ochaco.

“..sure.”

“Great!”

Izuku smiled, he seemed very exited.

“I was thinking this weekend maybe? Saturday?”

“..sounds good.”

“Alright! I'll get everything ready, we'll meet in my room- Oh and ill make sure to pick a good move! I had a few in mind, oh, but, I guess, a 3-hour documentary analyzing every attack and strategy All might has used during his entire career would be too much…right? I wasn't actually thinking about it! Well I was but…just asking…”

Shoto couldn't help but smile, he loved listening to Izuku talk, especially if it's about something he was passionate about. His face would light up, and Shoto would be enchanted by it. Just like he was right now.

“Anything would be fine by me, but I'm not sure about the others.”

Izuku looks taken aback, for multiple reasons. 

“Oh, I dont intent to invite anyone else.”

What

“We haven't done anything in a while, so I thought I'd be nice if it's just the two of us?”

Shoto´s smile faded, he was now paralyzed.  

Just the two of us? Just us? I'm not sure I can handle that, actually. Maybe I can? Why wouldn't ? Dumb question… And tomorrow??

Suddenly, certain pictures, and voices would echo through his head. Izukus face, as he screamed at him. The guilt would never pass, at least not until they talked about it. Would this be a good time to do so?

“...you dont want to?”

“What? No, I mean-  … it's fine. I just assumed.”

"...”

“...”

“I…take back what I said then. There is no one you need to worry about, whatever you chose is fine, including a 3 hour All might documentary.”

Izuku looks taken aback once more, but this time, it would break into a laugh.

“Really ? I doubt you'll enjoy it.”

“Thats ok.”

“But we're both suppose to have fun!”

“I'll have fun either way.”

“How?”

“Well, everything is fun with-”

“...with?”

You.

“...my friends around.”

Izuku looks puzzeled.

“.. Still, ill think of something else, we can watch that another time.”

Shoto felt his mind easing up again.

The bus ride would continue, they would talk about various shows and movies they could watch. And to Shoto´s surprise, he would begin to feel much calmer. He would begin to enjoy their conversation, his company. Almost as if nothing ever happened. Normality.      

But as much as he enjoyed these 10 minutes, he would be forcefully ripped away, as they reached the school, and Aizawa, telling them to leave. They walk towards the changing rooms, change back into their uniforms, heading straight towards the dorms. 

Shoto couldn't stop thinking about their conversation, how much he enjoyed it, his urge to talk to him more, the fact that tomorrow, he would be watching a movie with Izuku, alone. He could not stop thinking.

Chapter Text

4:15pm. Shoto is in his room, standing in front of his closet. Not only was he sweaty, but also covered in black powder. He would pick out comfy clothes to wear, and walks towards the bathroom. He had waited for about an hour before going, hoping the bathroom to be empty again, as always. He makes his way down the halls, he would hear voices, some of them male, it seemed as though most of them have finished already.

He enters, and opens the door at the far end of the room. The room had a similar layout as the changing rooms in the Gym. Lockers filling each side of the walls, in front, behind, and to the left of him. The right wall would be free of any lockers, but instead furnished with a few hangers, and of course, the door leading to the bath. Right below the lockers, following low under each of them hanging in a row, would be a thin bench. 

Shoto walks towards one of the lockers, and places his clothes into it. He takes off his dirty uniform, and secures his towel. One more look around the room would mostly confirm his plan to be a success, as it looked clean, and as far as he knew, no lockers were being used. Though he couldn't confirm, as they are a simple doors like you would find them on a dresser, equipped with a small knob. He would have to open each one to fully confirm, but that would be weird, and unnecessary. It didn't matter if one or two still remained in the bath, as long as it's calm, and not crowded. Even still, Shoto had listened carefully for voices coming from within the bath, he hasn't heard anything yet. Perhaps it really was empty. 

Or they just didn't make any sounds.

Shoto walks towards the door on the right, places his hand on the handle, and pushes it open. He would immediately be greeted by a small steam cloud, lightly floating around the room.

The school's bath was big. Holding one huge tub right in the middle, elevating just a little above ground. To the sides, and all along the left and right walls, little wash stations. The entire atmosphere of the room resembles one of an onsen, especially with the brown , wooden texture coating it. 

As unexpected as it was, he actually spots someone sitting in the bathtub. More like kneeling, as they are curled up at the left end of it, head resting in their arms, and a towel covering their head. Shoto couldn't identify them from where he stood, but decided to ignore them for now. He heads straight for one of the stations towards the right. Minding his own business, some shampoo, some water, some quick glances at the mirror, back to water.

Until, he heard something behind him, water splashing and a scream.

“OH-”

Shoto quickly turns around. He felt his heart stop, as he sets his eyes on the back of someone's green, still somehow fluffy hair. He watches Izuku in shook, as he does not know how to handle this situation. Should he leave? Will he act normal? How long has he been in here? Should he leave?? But it wouldn't take long for Izuku to face his way, and break the silence. 

“Sorry…didn't mean to scream, I just- Well- I didn't expect anyone here..”

Izuku seemed nervous, as he swung his eyes in every direction he physically could, and a lot of fast hand movements, making the water splash from time to time. Somehow, seeing Izuku nervous has given Shoto some courage. It was nice knowing he wasn't the only one losing his nerves, though they'd had different reasons. Of course. Obviously. ..

Shoto turns back towards the mirror, and gathers all of his courage to try and start a normal conversation. A normal conversation.

“ Were you sleeping?” 

Izuku took a few seconds, before answering.

“No, no, I was- Well I guess, but not really…it was just so nice you know?”

“How long have you been in here?”

“...good question..the others left me alone quite some time ago…”

“You got in right after we came back?”

“Yea, pretty much with the rest.”

Shoto turns around.

“You've been in here for an hour?”

Izuku looks at him, surprised. He quickly raises his hands towards his head, and looks at them. For the next few seconds, he would watch Izuku, who now had a disappointed, yet sarcastic expression.

“My hands look like I've aged 80 years…”

“ Shouldn't you be getting out then? Do you feel dizzy?”

“I feel fine. Oh… Ida will definitely scold me at this point…he told me not to stay too long…”

A few seconds of silence fill the room. Shoto had turned back around, facing the mirror once again. He had already finished a long time ago, but feared getting up to join Izuku in the tub. Instead, he would be breaking the silence this time, basing his next move on Izukus answer.

“You're not leaving?”

“...”

“...”

“ I'm lazy today.”

So thats a yes, then.

Izuku doesn't show any intent of leaving, meaning Shoto now had to face his fears, get up, and enter the tub. He had hoped for Izuku to leave, but also quite liked this outcome. He felt torn once more. Of course, he could just leave all together, but that apparently wasn't even an option for him. He had hoped to talk to him, after all, and this seemed to be a perfect situation to do so.

I've already been here for far longer than usual, any longer would only make me suspicious…ill just go..

Shoto gets up, and slowly walks towards the stairs, taking each step carefully. For some reason, right now, he feared slipping on the wet floor, fully embarrassing himself. It had never happened before, and he never really cared. But he would fear it nonetheless. 

He keeps his head low, as he enters the warm, soothing water. Shoto places himself right at the start, on the far left, opposite to Izuku. Izuku had previously moved from the left, where Shoto is, to the right, keeping the same position as before, leaning his head on his arms.

Like a ship closing in to a lighthouse, he would stare at Izuku from behind, keeping a close watch on each movement, each water drop falling down, from the peaks of his hair, to the skin on his back and arms. Each time he moved, Shoto would quickly look away, not out of choice, out of pure horror at the idea of getting caught. He would continue this cycle, until Izuku actually turned around, but looking to the wrong side. He watches Izuku look to his right, then fully turn around until they meet eyes. 

“ There you are.”

Izuku smiled. Shoto felt another knife pierce through his chest. And the stabbing wouldn't stop, as Izuku decided to place himself next to Shoto. His heartbeat multiplied, and he now feared Izuku potentially hearing his heart beating out of his chest. He suddenly feared Izuku, noticing his body shiver. Either of those options are extremely unlikely, but as far as he was aware, he had thought someone to still be in here unlikely, what difference does this make?

“..Todoroki?”

Izuku starts, instead of answering, he'd simply turn his head to look at him. This time, I'd be easy, as Izuku kept his head low, staring at the water below them.

“.. I didn't want to bring it up…yet, but. …”

Shoto could feel his heart sink, the second he had realized the words being said. He knew exactly what Izuku was about to bring up. He had wanted to talk, but having Izuku start it scared him nonetheless. But deep down he was glad, the days, weeks of avoidance, and lies have eaten away at his mental health, and most importantly, his relationship to Izuku. The one thing Shoto couldn't accept about himself, hurting his friends. And this time, he had hurt not just a friend. He was ready to face this conversation.

“I'll keep it short. I'm sorry. I know you told me to leave you alone, but I just- I just wanted to help… I couldn't bare to see you suffer, but still, I should've listened to you. You dont have to say anything- I-…”

Izuku holds on for a moment.

“Please, dont avoid me…”

Shoto feels as though his mouth has been sewed closed, eyes wide open, watching Izuku, his painful expression. Emotion start streaming through his body, it wouldn't take long for them to spill out from their small enclosure. 

“I promise, all I want is your happiness. If that means ignoring whatever you're going through- Thats ok. And- I mean, I'm sure Aizawa is already talking to you so-.. You dont even need me.”

Izuku smiled. A soft, yet horribly sad smile. All this time he thought Shoto had hated him for his actions. All this time he thought Shoto looked happier without him in his life. 

Shoto felt his throat aching.  

“Stop.”

Shoto said, surprising not just Izuku, but himself. He didn't know exactly how this would continue, but he would just let the words come out as they please. 

“What are you apologizing for… None of this is even remotely your fault.”

“...”

“I was being- .. weird.”

Shoto takes a breath.

“I was scared, I ran away from you- If ANYTHING I should apologize to you. I didn't even know what was wrong with me at first- I had to figure that out. You dont deserve this. … I'm sorry.”

Shoto could hear his voice shaking, meaning Izuku had done the same. He takes another deep breath. He finally let himself speak straight out of his heart. For now, he would be vulnerable, more than ever before. Even with Fuyumi, he'd never let himself fall apart as much as he did now. It felt horrible, he didn't dare to look to his left. All he could do was look down, just like Izuku did before. The silence that followed just added to the weight on his shoulders. 

“...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“But…”

Izuku starts, very carefully.

“Never mind. Are you still good to talk? We can leave it here for now, talk later maybe?”

Shoto slowly lifts his head, and directs his eyes towards Izuku. Even now, Izuku would smile, a gentle smile, warm and caring.

Shoto had felt his eyes watering up as he talked, he had hoped to conceal it with the already wet environment. But now, now that he'd be looking right into Izuku's eyes, it was just a matter of time. His tears have frozen. He watched Izuku's smile turn ever so slightly. But it wouldn't take long for it to return, now holding even more emotion. Shoto gatherers himself, then starts.

“... let's get out. You've already been in here for far too long.”

“.. yea.”

Izuku stands up, and starts walking towards the changing rooms. Shoto stays put.

“..you go first. I'll be right behind you.”  

“... alright, see you later then.”

Shoto watches Izuku leave, and disappear behind the white, in smokey glass covered door.

He takes a breath. And another. He decided to take this moment to himself, not only because he had realized what exiting at the same time meant...

He had to repair his face. Prepare to go out, back into the space filled with his classmates, walking, patrolling each corner, and each hallway. He couldn't risk being vulnerable in front of anyone other than Izuku right now. Once he had thought of enough time passing, he joined Izuku in the changing room. He slowly opens the door, prepared to avert his eyes, but instead, he would find Izuku already fully clothed, prepared to leave. A simple white t-shirt, and green shorts. An outfit made for Izuku. He had always loved the silly prints he would wear “T-Shirt”, “Bed Shirt”, he sadly wouldn't be today though.

“I'll go ahead then… ill tell you about Ida's reaction later!”

And then he left. Out the door. Shoto wouldn't waste any time. He opens his locker, and puts on his underwear, gray shirt, black pants, and gray socks. Straight out the door, right towards one of the sinks.

Shoto would get a second look at his face. His hair still wet, eyes ever so slightly red. His face has a new, softer tone to it, even confusing himself as he looked at his reflection.

He closed his eyes, and took one last deep breath, then walks out the door, straight towards his room. He would enter, and immediately head towards his phone, which had the little white box right next to it. He puts his earphones in, and plays a song. You know which one. Taking the next 20 min to close his eyes, and think. About Izuku, their conversation, the movie they'd watch tomorrow, the time they may spend together today.

5:43pm, dinner would be ready soon, he decides to leave early. He would bring both phone and earphones, not expecting to use them, but they somehow gave him safety. He scans the living room for Izuku, he is sitting on the couch facing the kitchen, with Tenya, and Mina beside him. On the opposite side, Ochaco, Tsuyu and Tooru. Some more would sit at the table, some stand by the window, and one stands in the Kitchen, cooking. Shoto walks towards Izuku, almost naturally, from behind, facing the back of the couch. Ochaco and co. notice him.

“Oh, hey there, Todoroki!”

Ochaco said first.

“ Hello. ribbit.”

“Heyyyy!”

Mina and Tenya turn around. Izuku leans his head back, now looking straight up towards him. He smiles.

“Hi.”

..adorable

He thought, openly to himself. He would once again surprise himself with how comfortable he has gotten around Izuku. Even within himself. This thought wouldn't make Shoto feel weird or embarrassed, he would feel, nothing. Nothing but pure honestly towards the sight he was seeing. The group continues their conversation, the topic: Dreams. Toru, very enthusiastically, speaks of …sunshine…lollipops and rainbows. Sounds wonderful.

His focus switches to Ochaco, she seems to enjoy listening to Toru talk. 

I should talk to her, apologize. I know she probably doesn't need one but, still. I did something stupid. Thats a fact. And she deserves an apology. Maybe ill take her aside later.

Mina suddenly jumps up, running towards the kitchen. And after a quick chat with Rikido, she shouts.

“Y'ALL, DINNERS READYY!”

People from left and right start approaching the table, excited chatter filled the room. Mina pulls out her phone, and types something. A message in the group chat, telling everyone else to come out. Now, Ochaco, Toru, Tsuyu and Tenya start getting up, walking towards the table. Izuku gets up, and looks back at Shoto. He didn't say anything, just a quick look, and a smile. Izuku joins the rest. Shoto follows. 

“Sit down everyone! We got a hot pot today!”

Rikido screamed into the room. 

“Yooo! Is today something special?”

Denki said, spit dripping from his mouth, metaphorically speaking.

“Oh no, I just felt like doing it. It's fun, you know!” 

“You are. An angel.”

Rikido refuses to accept any complements. He would just scratch his head, and blush.

Shoto looks around, Izuku was standing close to Tenya, who had just moved himself downwards to sit. Izuku followed, but before he did, he turns his head, and looks right at Shoto. Again. His eyes move down towards a seat right next to him, then return them to Shoto. He stood in shock for a second, before taking a step, moving towards the chair next to Izuku and Tenya. ALmost naturally, leaving no room for choice.

They all get seated, exited to dig into the beautifully made hot pot. The smell of the meat and veggies cover the room, people smiling everywhere he looks. The atmosphere was nice, like a big event on a holiday. 

While they eat, different kinds of conversations started to form, reaching from topics all across the understanding. Izuku turns to Shoto every once in a while, starting various points of conversation as well. Shoto had almost forgotten how much he enjoyed simply listening to Izuku talk, simply existing close to him. He had forgotten that this was once a normal day-to-day thing. Shoto feels warm, happy. Something he has been missing for far too long.

They finish up dinner, help Rikido clean up, and return to their previous activities. Shoto uses this time to finally talk to Ochaco.

“Uraraka?”

“Oh, hey there. What's up?”

“Are you busy?

“Busy? Not really. Why?”

“Follow me.”

Shoto started walking towards the hallway.

“Oh! Ok, sure.”

Ochaco follows. Shoto leads them far into the hallway, far enough away to ensue no one listening in on them. Then, he stops.

“Sorry to kidnap you all the way here, it'll be quick..”

“Thats ok! So…is there something you need, or…?”

“No, I just wanted to… apologize.”

“ Apologize? What for?”

Seriously? How nice can you be?

“I'm sorry for not fighting you seriously during the tournament. I was- I was going through something, but thats not an excuse. I was stupid, I'm really sorry.”

Ochaco looks at him with surprise, then switches to a big smile.

“Thank you. It's no big deal tho! I figured you had your reasons. I was kind of mad at first, thats true but…what kind of hero would I be if I couldn't forgive my friends? Also, everyone make mistakes, so dont worry about it!”

“... right,  thank you.” 

“I'm just glad to see you back with us. We missed you.”

They share a moment of silence, simply appreciating the other.

“Great! Feels good now that thats out of the way, huh? How about we go back? Wanne join us on the couch?”

“Sure.”

“Alright, Lets goo!”

The conversation was short, but it meant everything to Shoto. He finally apologized, and Ochaco, a dear friend, has forgiven him. With such ease as well. He felt a few pounds of weight fall off his shoulder. It wasn't enough to fix the pain, but it healed him, just enough.

Chapter Text

Both of them return to the couch, where everyone from before has returned. Tenya, Mina, Toru and Izuku. 

“There they are! Where were you guys?”

Mina immediately notices them. 

“Oh, you know, just talking. Mina! You still have to tell me about your dream!”

“OMG you're right! Ok come here, so basically-”

Mina and Ochaco drift away, talking about their dreams. Shoto takes his place behind the couch, behind Izuku. They only listen to them at first, Mina explained some…interesting things. The silence between the rest of them lasts, it wasn't an awkward silence, though. Just silence, led by the shared desire to listen to one another. In this case, Mina.

7:07pm, nighttime at the dorms would always turn out this way. Quiet conversations from some corners, but mostly people sitting together, enjoying each other's company. And sometimes a few songs, managed by Mina and Kyoka, of course. Izuku leans his head back.

“ Hey .”

He whispers.

“I thought of a Movie!”

Izuku turned around to look at him.

Oh right, the movie. oh, right.

“.. what…were you thinking?”

“It's called “Nimona”. I think you'll like it! I saw it together with the girls, it's about someone- Actually I'm not gonna spoil anything. You'll see tomorrow!”

Izuku looks exited, as he talked about the movie he had picked out. Shoto was suddenly looking forward to tomorrow. Not that he hasn't before, but fear had fully taken over his emotions. 

“I trust whatever you pick will be great.”

Shoto spends the rest of his time with the others, talking, relaxing, until 11:45pm. Usually, they would separate at roughly 10pm, but today was Friday, which means, who tf cares.

Shoto says his goodbyes, and returns to his room. It was dark, and silent. He turns on the lights, and closes the door behind him. It felt as though he had entered a different world from the loud, noisy living room, filled with people. He prepares his futon. After closing the curtains, a quick change of clothes, and brushing his teeth, he'd be ready to skip the day.

Tomorrow morning, he won't be greeted by that horrible sound at 6am.  How wonderful. 

Oh right, I wanted to change the alarm sound.

He grabs his phone, which he had returned to its usual spot on the desk. He opens the “clock” app, and clicks his way through the various sound options. They were all horrible. 

Then, he noticed a message from the group chat, it was Mina, seemingly upset… 

“KAMINARI. OPEN THE DOOR.”

“We know you're in there. We can hear your stupid notification sound.”

It seems like Mina and Kyoka have a little trouble with Denki, he wondered what had happened, but decided it's none of his business. As he watches the chat irrupt into a huge mess, he mindlessly looks up at the profile picture.

It was a picture they had taken in the first year of school. He decided to look at it. It was a good picture, he liked looking back at old memories, good memories. His focus would switch to Izuku, standing right next to himself, and Tenya right behind, arms fully stretched out in the air. He always wondered why he used that pose. 

He looks at the picture of himself, next to Izuku, for a while. 

He looks so …young, somehow. He was a little nervous at first, lacked confidence, I remember our first day at school quite well, now look at him. I wonder if I have any recent photos? 

Shoto scrolls through the group chat, in search of any pictures including Izuku, but, no luck. He opens his gallery, and scrolls through. It was mostly filled with photos of his classmates, as they send a lot of pictures in the group chat. But it would also hold some cat pictures, and the occasional landscape or sunset. Finally, he would find something. An old picture of them eating Crêpes. Izuku had some whipped cream on his mouth, but no one told him until after the picture. He would bring this up multiple times, he seemed really embarrassed, and it's forever captured in this photo. He would look at himself, who, surprisingly enough, was also looking at Izuku in the picture. 

Wait, was I- back then? I'm sure it was because of the whipped cream..

Surely. He continues to look through old pictures, including Izuku, until. 12:02am. 

12am? I should put my phone away…

So he does, he puts it back to its spot on the desk, and returns to bed. He closes his eyes. His mind wanders, to tomorrow, mostly and most importantly, to the movie he'd watch with Izuku. He thought about his dream the night before. The conversation on the bus, The talk in the tub. Izukus face, his smile. He thought about various ways tomorrow could go, good, and bad ways. Things he could say, do. He thought about rescue training, again, his fear, Izuku carrying him…

After what felt like hours, he falls asleep. 

Shoto never ended up changing the sound on his alarm.

The next day came quick, 8:34am. Today, he most likely won't be first in the bathroom, and meet Tenya, as usual. Weekends would be the only exception to their routine, mostly because of Shoto.Tenya always wakes up at the same time, every day. Shoto on the other hand hates waking up early, and refuses to infest his free days with that horrible alarm sound.

The bright yellow sunlight shines through the curtains. He opens his eyes, and simply lays there. He had another dream last night, it wasn't a nightmare, though. He can barely remember its contents, but what he does know is who he met within. And to no one's surprise, not even himself, it was Izuku. He had met some others as well, Ochaco, Tenya…but he couldn't remember in what way they were connected, only that he saw them. And the thing he remembered best, how beautiful Izuku looked, as he smiled at him, the sun brightly shining behind him, and his hair dancing in the wind. It was a nice dream. One downside, though, each time he dreams of Izuku would make his interactions with the real Izuku harder and harder. As if he was hiding something from him again, which was true, and there wasn't anything that could change that any time soon, but it would still feel weird.

Shoto finally gets up, and heads out towards the bathrooms. Weekends wouldn't only be an exception to his and Tenya´s ritual, because only on weekends could he be met with the chance of a crowded bathroom. Each time he reaches the door, he prays. And today, he would be lucky, as there were only 2 more people in the bathroom, Eijiro, and Katsuki. 

“Hey! Good morning todoroki!”

“ Mornin.”

Eijiro says, after he enters. Katsuki doesn't even look his way.

“C´mon dude…say hello!”

He hears Eijiro whisper to Katsuki. He finally turns his head, looks at him, very annoyed, then gives a quick nod before turning back to the mirror.

“Good enough…”

Eijiro complys. Shoto walks up to one of the sinks, he would always choose the one on the right, the second from the row, and he would continue to do so. He looks in the mirror, where he got a first look at his face. Messy hair, and a bit of sleep crust next to his eyes. After brushing his teeth, a quick splash of water and a head shake, he'd be ready to face the day.

He walks back to his room, and changes into a back turtle-neck, and gray pants, paired with some basic black socks. 9am, he makes his way to the living room. During weekends, Rikido would wake up early, and prepare for everyone else to show up. On today's menu: traditional eggs and bacon. Sato always tried to use all kinds of different recipes and ideas, while also keeping it simple, so everyone can enjoy his food.

Shoto admired him, Rikido would spend so much time in the kitchen, working with all kinds of foods, and tools. He himself couldn't even cut a cucumber correctly. He always makes sure to thank Rikido regularly for his hard work. Shoto walks towards him.

“Good morning! Here you go.”

Rikido hands Shoto his plate, then looks over to Ojiro to do the same. Shoto turns around. As his eyes fly through the room, he spots someone. He spots Izuku, coming from the hallway, greeting Ochaco, who noticed him as well. They seem to have a conversation. 

Suddenly, a thought shot through his head. He quickly turns around, back towards Rikido.

“.. Oh? Back already?”

“Can you give me a second plate?”

Rikido looks confused, he would avert his eyes slightly, looking right beside him, right towards Ochaco and Izuku. Then..

“Oh! I see, comin right up!”

Rikido seems happy.

Did he notice? Must have. I'm not being obvious, am I..?

Shoto was torn. A few seconds later, Rikido places another plate on his free hand.

“Bon appétit!”

Shoto turns around. Izuku approaches him. He could feel his heart racing again. They meet each other in the middle, Izuku looks surprised, as he looks down towards the two plates. Shoto straightens his arm, moving it towards Izuku. 

Neither of them say a word, Izuku stares at him, seemingly confused, or was it still surprise? Shoto couldn't tell. Then, he quickly grabs it.

“Oh- Thank.. you!”

He smiled sheepishly. Then rushed towards the table. Shoto confused himself, he had fully spaced out looking at Izuku, who was now rushing away from him. It would take him a few seconds to follow.

Still, something was different about Izuku today, he thought, but wouldn't pay it too much mind, as he was already overthinking everything Izuku did. He mindlessly follows Izuku next to the seat he had picked for himself, then realized his current physical condition. But he couldn't turn away now, he takes a look at the rest of the table. He spots a lot of seats he could be taking instead, next to Fumikage, for example. But he would be walking towards Izuku at the same time, which made the entire thought useless. They would meet eyes again, as they approach the chairs.

Shoto wondered, would Izuku even want him to sit here? Izuku smiles at him, then sits down. Shoto took it as a, probably fine. 

He also noticed, Izuku smiled a lot today. More than usual, at least.

They would eat in silence for a while, until Izuku broke it, by asking about their homework. They would finish this conversation pretty quickly, then, the silence returns. 

Shoto doesn't mind, he liked the silence, and he could even spend it sitting next to Izuku, but it was unusual. As far as Shoto can remember, Izuku was always good at coming with conversation topics. He wasn't as extroverted as Denki, but also not as Introverted as Shoto, a nice middle ground. Still, right now he seemed troubled. Did something happen? Does he not want Shoto to sit next to him after all? Was he just too nice to speak it out? Shoto felt his mind eating at him. He was fine before, but the tiniest uncertainty would break his balance in an instant. He thought about the last times he had felt this way, he was not about to do anything stupid or irrational again.

And this time, he would seek a conversation.

“Midoriya?”

“Yes! Sorry, ..what's up?”

“Are you…ok? ”

“What?”

“ .. I just thought…you're acting a little different today. Maybe thats just me, though.”

Izuku looked at him, eyes wide open. 

“Oh, no, no. I'm fine! I'm just- well- Uhm..You're imagining things.”

“...”

“.. if you say so. But…”

He takes a moment.

“ ...just to make sure.. did I do something wrong again?”

“ What? No! Thats not- …”

Izuku stops, as if he had just realized something. Then speaks once more, in a more certain tone.

“I promise, you did nothing wrong. I was just, thinking about tonight..you know? .. We actually didn't decide on a time yet! And snacks! What should I bring?”

Shoto relaxed a bit, though he wasn't certain, he did believe what Izuku had told him. Shoto could guess by his expression. There was a certain face, a certain smile Izuku would show whenever he wasn't being truthful. This didn't look like that kind of smile, it was honest, and gentle, as always. 

“Anything works.”

“Yea, I thought you'd say that. Hm… I wonder if we even have anything good left… Hold on.”

Izuku gets up, and runs towards one of the cupboards inside the kitchen. He ducks down, disappearing from Shotos view for a few seconds, then pops back up again, before returning to his seat.

“We have pretty much nothing left…unless you count in the half empty chips bag…”

“ ...”

Izuku sits back down, looks towards his plate, and quickly finishes the last piece of egg he had left. Shoto has already finished. Once finished as well, Izuku looks at him excitedly.

“Wanne go out with me?”

“...”

Shoto froze. 

“ - Shopping!!”

Izuku quickly followed up. Shoto still frozen, could only move his head up and down, signalizing a “Yes.”

“Great! How… How about, 1pm? Oh, and we still haven't decided when to start, do you have a time in mind?”

Shoto could barely follow what Izuku had told him. All he knew was “Go out” and “1pm”. But Izuku had been just as confused as he was. Did he notice his mistake? He looks more stressed than usual. Izukus nervousness reminded him of himself, whenever his heartbeat raises into infinity. Perhaps Izuku simply had a bad day. Surely. Izuku isn't like him, and he never will be.

Shoto suddenly felt more weight on his shoulders, but ignores it. He won't let it happen again. No matter what.

“..How long is the movie?”

“Uhm, I'd say about 2h maybe?”

“..Then, 7pm?”

“Sounds good! That gives us enough time to go out- Shopping! Well, it wouldn't have taken that long but, I thought.. Maybe we could also just, hang out? Unless you dont want to, of course! I just thought - well, since we’re there…”

Izuku started to ramble, also something he normally does when he is nervous, or talking about something he was passionate about. But Shoto doesn't remember one of his passions being shopping… He really did have a bad day. What else could explain this?

“I dont mind.” 

“Oh, ok then! Uhm..”

Izuku looked troubled. Shoto started to fear his real intention didn't come out how he wanted. And he would correct himself, as he also feared some kind of misunderstanding, potentially breaking them up again. 

“..Hold on, let me rephrase that… I'd love to hang out.”

Sometimes, Shoto contradicts himself. His mind would constantly jump from one side to the other. He thought about distancing himself from Izuku again, not avoiding, but also not any closer. He feared his feelings may turn out to ruin his friendship with Izuku, someone he was not, under any circumstances, ready to lose. But then again, he did this, he would say these things, he would stay close to him, he would search his company. It was almost like mind and body acted separately. And then there was Izuku's behavior. Shoto has finally beaten the first challenge, but was now faced with an even bigger challenge.

How on earth does he deal with this? How can he keep Izuku in his life? Was that even an option?

“Thanks for clarifying.”

Izuku smiled softly, almost glad, even. Shoto on the other hand, was torn, like always.

Shoto gets up as he remembers to bring back the plates. Izuku follows quickly. 

I should leave.

Shoto turns towards Izuku.

“I'm going back to my room, for now. .. I'll see you later.”

“ oh, Ok. See you later then!”

Shoto decided to return to his room. He felt his mind spinning, thoughts rushing left and right. Better relax now, before he makes any mistakes again. He thought. 

Back in his room, he sits down, and hides his face in his hands. He would feel horrible. Izuku hasn't shown any signs of disinterest, yet, it was all he could think of. He would fear misunderstanding Izuku's behavior, was it mutual? Or Is he just being nice? Was he uncomfortable around him? What's up with this sudden change?

I dont get it. 

Shoto finds himself in an endless carousel of thoughts. Many, if not all, of them negative. Shoto can feel himself sinking deeper, and deeper, for no apparent reason. What makes him feel this way? 

He opens his eyes. Everything is blurry. Then, a tear drops. A tear? Shoto quickly wipes them away, as though they never happened. And then, for a split second, he remembered something. Something important. 

“... Under one condition. If you ever feel hopeless, or think about stupid things, you come right to me [...] Don't swallow everything up and lie again, got it?”

He hears Aizawas voice echoing through his head. 

...I suppose this counts as…feeling hopeless? But there's no way I can actually call him…right?

His arms starts reaching towards his phone. He wouldn't actually call Aizawa, of course, he just wanted to look. Nothing more. He opens his phone book, and looks for “Aizawa”. There it was, he clicks on it. He would stare at it for quite a while. He wouldn't call, that'd be stupid, or was it? Was it stupid *not* to call? Aizawa did tell him to do it if needed. And he needed it. But what could Aizawa do? Didn't he say he had no idea about love anyway? 

“ I'll be on your side, no matter the problem. You are one of my students, after all.”

Shoto pressed the green button. Aizawa picks up.

“Todoroki? Are you alright?”

No answer.

“...”

“...”

“ I'm coming over.”

He hung up. Shoto felt, nothing. It took him a few seconds to realize what he had done. Aizawa was on his way to him. He suddenly felt regret, relieved, fear, comfort. Shoto freezes, doesn't move his phone, doesn't click away from the hung up call. Why are things turning out so bad again? He couldn't understand.

He looks at the time, 5 minutes passed. It takes about 10 to get to school, so Aizawa was pretty much halfway there already. Are 5 minutes enough to prepare himself for whatever happens in 5 minutes? Someone knocks on the door.

Already??

Shoto felt his body stop working for a second. He slowly, very slowly, makes his way to the door. Thinking about various things to say, excuses as to why this was a mistake. He opens the door. Aizawa, as expected, greets him.

“... I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-”

“How about we take this inside?”

Aizawa interrupts him. Shoto keeps his head low, defeated, as he walks back inside. Aizawa right behind him. Shoto does not look back. He would hear the door behind him close, and footsteps slowly approaching. 

How stupid can I be.

“How about we sit down?” 

Shoto heard behind him, a careful, calm voice. He turns around, eyes focussed on the floor, then towards his desk. There wasn't much to sit on. Aizawa walks beside him, towards said desk, and lowers himself right behind it. He watches Aizawa move his head, signalizing Shoto to sit down as well. He does.

"I'm glad you called me. I'm guessing it took some courage, still against the idea of opening up?”

“...”

“Take your time.”

“...”

Great, what now? What do I say? The truth I suppose, but…what is the truth? I'm… I'm… I'm scared? No, not enough… I…why am I blanking now. Just say whatever, anything.

“I dont know..”

…really? “I dont know?” Thats all I could come up with? This is horrible.

“Uncertain, understandable. But I can safely assume something happened that threw you off balance, right? Hence, the call?”

Shoto takes a few seconds, then nods.

“Alright. How about you try and explain what's going on in your head. Take your time, as always. I'll be patient.”

“...”

Ok…sure…what's going on? I think the person I like doesn't like me back, and now I'm depressed. Oh.

Shoto has realized his feelings, more accurately than ever before. 

I cant say that. Can I? How about… I struggle to…get rid…of…- What if I ask how to get rid of these feelings instead? That could work. No need to worry if i manage to get back to normal. 

“ I-”

Shoto breaks the silence.

“I, dont know, how to get rid of…it.”

“Get rid of it? It being…ok, I see. No wonder you feel so horrible, that part usually only kicks in after the rejection. Wait he hasn't-?

Shoto quickly shakes his head. 

“I see, in that case. Why on earth are you trying to get rid of it?”

“...”

"I could try and guess. You dont think it's mutual, right?”

Shoto nods, slowly.

“Figures. Why is that? Did he seem distant? Has he said anything?”

“...no.”

“So you have no reason to believe so either?”

“...”

I dont…

“... I dont need a reason, it's obvious.”

“Nothing can be obvious without a solid reason, and you know it.”

“...”

“Look, how about you tell me what happened first, anything before your breakdown. And then we'll analyze it together.”

“...”

“...”

“...I guess, this morning..”

Shoto struggles to get the words out, his mind refused to work, leading to unfinished, unstructured sentences, no red string to follow.

“ Uhm..”

“...”

“I thought, he was, different, than usual. And I was fine, but then, when I came back, I realized, what if im misunderstanding..”

He lets himself be vulnerable, for the second time. He was torn. Aizawa takes a few moments to digest. He looks focused.

“I see. You said he seemed different, how exactly?”

“ He was more…”

Shoto stops.

Nervous than usual.

“He seemed stressed.”

“How could you tell?”

“He…did the thing, he looked away a lot? And talked less. And-...”

“And?”

Aizawa repeated.

“Well, I'm probably imagining it but, he stuttered a lot, and smiled..?”

“...”

Aizawa digested. He had raised his brows, but he wasn't surprised. It was more skeptical looking.

“ Let me summarize… He was nervous, quiet, stuttered and smiled more than usual?” 

“...”

No answer. Shoto feared whatever Aizawa would say next.

“What, did he also turn red and avoid your eyes? You're right, it is obvious, but not in the sense you had me believe.”

Shoto looks at him, seemingly confused.

“ You cant be serious. Do I have to spell it out for you?”

please dont.

“...no.”

“You tell me then, what do you actually believe this means?”  

“No.”

"...”

“I feel like your problem isn't Midoriya, it's you. You still dont accept yourself, do you?”

what

Shoto was too stunned to speak.  

“Why won't you let yourself breathe? You're clouding your own vision, and for what?”

“...”

“You say it's obvious, and yet everything is pointing towards the opposite. Now, you're just lying to yourself.”

“...”

“There's a very good chance Midoriya love's you just as much as you love him.”

Shoto felt his entire body tense up. The words echo in though his head, “love”. Aizawa had always talked around it, just like Shoto had done. Shoto would tell himself, since Aizawa never actually mentioned it, maybe he doesn't know, maybe he kept his secret to himself after all. But this sentence would destroy each and all embellishing thoughts he had crafted for himself. 

.. stop talking, god dammit.

Aizawa sights.

“I avoided specific words as to not stress you out, but I fear you simply won't understand if I stay imprecise. You get it, dont you?”

“I'm not sold.”

“Of course you are.”

“...”

“...”

Shoto knew. He had thought about it. He had wondered, maybe, perhaps there was a chance. But of course, he wouldn't let those thoughts get to him. He ignored himself, he ignored reality, all to protect himself. A false sense of danger, and misinterpretation. Basically gaslighting. How funny, the human mind is something special indeed. So precious, and so self destructive. And for no goddamn reason.

Shoto felt as though this conversation has lasted for far too long. Suddenly, he flung his head towards the wall right behind him, right at the clock hanging above his desk. 11:46am.

I still have more than an hour, thank god. 

“Something wrong?”

He hears Aizawa say, he quickly turns back, and shakes his head. Aizawa looks up to the clock.

“Is there somewhere you need to be later?”

“... kind of.”

“What's the plan for today?”

Why has he started small talk now?

“...”

“...”

“Is it a secret?”

“No…”

“Do you hate me now?”

“What? No.”

“Then what's the matter?”

“Nothing, I'm going out.”

“Out where?”

“Shopping.”

“Alone?”

“...no.”

Aizawa looks at him expectantly.

“..with Midoriya..”

Aizawa raised his brows. This time, he was actually surprised.

“ Anyone else?”

“...no.”

“I'm guessing it wasn't you who invited him.”

“There's a reason…”

“Being?”

“We need something for…well, tonight.”

“Go on.”

“We, want to watch a movie later.. and we had nothing in the kitchen...”

Shoto watched aizawa raise his hand towards his face, covering his eyes, before sliding it down to cover his mouth instead.

“ Midoriya has invited you, twice , to spend time with him, and here you are.”

“We dont know for sure.”

“Whatever you say.”

Aizawa returns his hand to its previous position. Shoto wasn't sure, but for a split second, he was sure to have seen Aizawa smile. It was small, and it disappeared as quickly as it came, but he was certain to have seen it. Why was he smiling? What was funny about this?

“Is there anything else you want to get off your chest?”

“... no.”

“How do you feel?”

“What?”

“...”

No answer. 

I feel… fine. Surprisingly good, even. What happened?

“Feels good to talk about things, doesn't it?”

No answer. But Aizawa didn't need one, he could tell by the way Shoto was looking at him. 

“ Alright, I won't bother you any longer. If you have nothing more to add, then I will head back to school.”

Shoto nods, he had nothing more to say. Except for one thing, but he would wait. Aizawa gets up, so does Shoto.

“Make sure to enjoy today, kid. Dont overthink it, it won't look good in your memories.”

“Right.”

“I'm heading out then, ill see you on Monday, if nothing else comes up.”

Aizawa walks towards the door.

“Sensei.”

Shoto stops him.

“ Hm?”

“Thank you.”

Aizawa smiled, it was still small, but this time, he would see it. Without a doubt. Aizawa turns, and raises his hand, as he opens the door with the other, and leaves. It was his way of saying “No problem”. He had seen him do it before, but this time, it was directed at him. 

Shoto knew, but he still hasn't fully realized, just how much Aizawa loved his students. 

And, he thought, Aizawa probably doesn't know, just how much his students loved him. 

Chapter Text

Friday, 12 am. Izuku had called Ochaco over, as he needed someone to talk to after his conversation with Shoto in the bath. Ochaco knocks on the door, and steps in.

“Ok, I'm here. So, what did he say?”

“Well, he said it's not my fault, he said he was struggling with something… don't know what though…but he apologized.”

Izuku keeps his head low.

“Still keeping quiet, huh? I suppose all we can do is what we're already doing.”

Izuku lets out a big sigh.

“...you ok?”

She asked.

“No… I'm mean yes.. But. I don't know. I feel like I'm all over the place.”

“I get that...we're all worried. But there's really nothing we can do, if he wants to keep to himself, we have to accept that. Also, remember Aizawa..”

“I know…”

“...”

“But hey! You said he has been more comfortable around you again, right?” 

Ochaco joins Izuku on the side of the bed, where he is sitting.

“I'm…not sure. I guess. But, AGH! I don't get it! What would make him not comfortable around me in the first place? If I haven't done anything wrong, then why? He didn't lie, did he?”

“...you tell me. Did he look like he lied?”

“... no. He didn't. Quite the opposite, actually.”

“No point stressing over it then. He will open up to us when he's ready.”

“....”

Ochaco puts her hand on his back, gently patting it. 

“Nothing stays forever, remember.”

Izuku looks towards Ochaco, she smiled, gently. Izuku returns it.

“Yea, you're right. Thank you.”

“...”

“Hey… I know you pretty much care just as much about everyone as their parents do…but this time…you really can't take a break, huh?”

“Huh?”

“Well, you can't get it out of your head, right? I'm worried about you too, you know! You keep on staring at him, and you always have me come over after every interaction…”

“.. sorry about that.”

“Oh, no, no, It's fine! You know ill always be here to talk. It's just a little out of character for you, that's all.”

“Hm…well… I have been messy lately..”

"Messy? How?”

“Well-”

Izuku gatherers his thoughts. He sighs again.

“ I really can't catch a break…whenever I see him I get all messed up, and then I make one mistake after the other. I can't even sleep at night!”

Ochaco squints at him in doubt.

“ Ok, perhaps you are overreacting a little bit..”

“Overreacting in an understatement…it's like my body is in a constant state of fear.”

“... Fear?”

“Yes! I don't get it either! Why would I be scared? He said it's not my fault, but maybe I still think it is..is it guilt?”

“Uhhhhhm.”

Ochaco halts, and squints at him again.

“ That…doesn't sound like guilt…ngl…”

“It doesn't?!”

Ochaco´s eyes widen, as if she had realized something. She returns to squint at him.

“Ok…let's start from the beginning…when you say messy, you mean…you get nervous, so you make mistakes. And you're scared? Scared as in, heart racing, sweating, that sort of thing?”

“Pretty much...”

“...Deku, tell me…this only happens when you see Todoroki, right?”

“Yes...?”

“Nowhere else? Just when you're close to him?”

“...what are you trying to imply?”

Izuku said, nervously. Ochaco looks at him, now fully shocked.

“... Are… You?!”

“Huh??”

“Are you in love with him?!?”

“... Huh, WHAT?!”

“YOU ARE?!” 

“NO!”

“DEKU.”

“STOp screaming…”

“Sorry. …But, hold on!”

“No, no, no! You got it all wrong! It's nothing like that!”

“Deku you're looking like a tomato right now, I don't believe a single word you say.”

“...”

“Is this the “Fear” you're experiencing when you're close to him?”

No answer. 

“ Oh my lord.”

“Don't say it.”

"My lips are sealed. But, oh my god, you HAVE to tell me more. Wait, is that why get his breakfast each morning? Ohh, smooth!”

“What? No- well, I don't know anymore…”

“Aww it's ok! At least I don't have to worry about you, turns out you're just in love.”

“Stop.”

“What?”

“I'm not.”

Izuku holds his ears shut.

“I know… I know…just accept it, it's easier.”

“How on earth is that easier?!”

“Well if you don't you'll have a bigger problem to solve! Never underestimate the human mind.”

Izuku has curled himself up, hands covering his ears. He would stay this way, thinking, until he straightens up, and lets him arms fall. He looks towards Ochaco, who had a humorous smile on her face.

“Fine… I get it… What do I do now?!”

Ochaco laughs.

"You approach him! That's what you do!”

“How? He's kind of going through something, remember??”

“And? Do you think someone simply hanging out with him, loving him, will make him feel worse? You're doing what we planned, but better!”

“We don't know for sure…”

“If he still wanted you at distance, he'd still be avoiding you!”

“... You think??”

“Yes!”

“I don't know…”

“Just try! Worst he can say is no! And then you'll know to give him some space. Invite him to go somewhere, movies maybe?”

“Oh, that won't be necessary, I already did.”

“Excuse me??”

“Yea, I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie with me, you know, on Ashido´s laptop, like you guys.”

“And he said yes?”

“He did.”

“Ok mister, “We don't know for sure”. You already have a date set up! Good job btw.”

“It's not a- oh whatever…”

“I sense agreement.”

“...”

“Sorry. Sorry!”

Ochaco seems amused.

“Just be you, and see how he reacts. And who knows, maybe he'll hang out with you more once he feels more comfortable around you. And who knows..” 

Ochaco starts.

“Maybe he feels the same...”

She raises her fist, and slightly hits Izuku's shoulder.

“You're being a little too optimistic here…”

“We don't know for sure~”

“Stop!”

Ochaco laughs again, Izuku couldn't help but join. Perhaps his nerves were the reason, an output for the energie stored within himself. They would continue to laugh their hearts out. Once calmed down, She gives him one last hug, before leaving for the night. Izuku heads to sleep, before jumping up, as he realized something.

He had forgotten to tell Shoto about Tenyas reaction.

Chapter Text

11:50am. Aizawa has just left. Leaving Shoto to decide his mnect move.

He thought about sitting down again, and relax until 1pm. But another thought has rushed though, what if Izuku was in the living room? Could he squeeze out even more time with him? He surprised himself once again, but he wouldn't talk himself down for it, at least he tried. He had taken what Aizawa said seriously. He had decided to believe in Aizawa, trust him.

As much as he regretted calling at first, as much as he hated the first few minutes of their conversation, he was glad it happened. He was glad Aizawa had taken him seriously, cared, and talked to him. He walks towards the door, and follows Aizawas footsteps. 

As he walks through the hallway, he would hear various voices, and see silhouettes of some people, standing close to the entrance. He would be surprised as he spots Aizawa from afar, talking to Mina, Hanta, Denki, and some more. He wondered what they'd be asking him. Shoto approaches. 

“Okay, but THEORETICALLY speaking…IF we had actual speakers, AND played it quietly, would you allow it?”

"Why do you need speakers, you already have one.”

“No! It's small! And we have to carry it everywhere to go!”

“Its practical then.”

“Annoying more like! Please! Just a small speaker…pretty please!”

“You know, any noise complaint you get comes back to me. And I do not trust you with a big speaker, bigger equals loud.”

“ But sensei!”

“No, you'll be just fine with what you have. Be glad I allowed you to have this one.”

"Aw man…no fair..”

Mina looks down in disappointment. It seems like she was still trying to get Aizawa to say yes to a bigger speaker to play music on. Kyoka has once told her that she had better speakers at home. Now, this was all Mina cared about. Still, Aizawa stayed consistent with his answer. He seemed cold, completely different than he did just a few minutes ago. 

Some people have noticed his entrance.

“Hey there…”

Hanta said, standing to Mina's left.

“ Hey…”

Mina added, as she squinted towards him.

“OH perfect timing dude! Tell Aizawa how much you wanted a bigger speaker! Go on! You love music, right?!”

Shoto looks towards Denki, confused.

“Dont manipulate him into argumenting for you. Do it yourself at least.”

“I DID. And you rejected me!”

“And ill do it again.”

Shoto felt sorry for Aizawa, it was technically his fault he was being ambushed right now. Though, it would have happened either way. And it wouldn't stop, as he heard yet another voice calling for him from behind.

“Sensei!”

Shoto jumped, he knew that voice very well.

“Great, you're still here! I need to ask you something!”

As he heard Izuku scream, he saw him run past, stopping right in front of Aizawa.

“Why do you have so many questions today.” 

“ Sorry! I'll be quick. You said to do the first two tasks on page 132 right? Analyzing the structure and argumentation includes a hypothesis, right?!”

“... No, not necessarily. You can if you believe you need it, but we dont demand one.”

“ Oh… Ok, I see… Well, at least it's not wrong…”

“Did you finish already?”

“No, I'm in the middle though, and I heavily leaned on my hypothesis, it would seem too focused if I got rid of it… I'd have to redo it..”

“I see.”

“HOMEWORK?”

They suddenly hear Mina scream out. She overcame her despair.

“We're talking SERIOUS business here, and you ask about homework?!”

“Huh? Oh, I'm so-”

“Dont listen to her.”

Aizawa interrupted, clearly annoyed. Shoto couldn't care less about this conversation, especially now that Izuku has joined. He would stare at him, wouldn't even notice doing it. 

“Is that all?”

“Yes! Thank you!”

Izuku seemed satisfied. He turns around, Shoto looks away.

“Ah- When did you get here?!”

Izuku now seemed startled.

“He was here the entire time?”

Denki answered.

“Yea, I know…”

Izuku whispered, he looks disappointed at himself, in a humorist way.

“What? What did he say?”

“Doesn't matter! Kaminari get your head straight, we have a Mission!”

Mina and Denki whisper to each other. Aizawa, though, distanced himself from the conversation. As Shoto looks up, he noticed Aizawa looking at him. 

“At least it's never boring with you kids.”

He said, then took a step forward, and places his hand on Shotos head. 

“ I'm leaving, take care.”

He said, not to Shoto, but everyone standing in the little circle they made. But deep down, he felt as though it was directed at him. Still, he couldn't fully process what had just happened. He stands there in confusion, just like everyone else did, as they watch Aizawa disappear through the entrance door. Shoto feels warm, cared for. He continues to watch the door through which his teacher dissapeared.

“ What the hell.”

“ I thought he didn't have favorites…”

Shoto would hear voices left and right, but would only focus on the door, switching to Izuku, who he saw from the edge of his sight, looking at him.

“ What have you been doing the last hour? Did you bribe him? Oh you are evil, Todoroki…”

Denki would stand out to him, though. He turns to answer.

“I didn't.”

“Then explain yourself!”

“I cant.”

“Why not?!”

“I'm just as confused as you are.”

“Good looking and the teacher's favorite? Jesus pick a blessing…”

Mina whispered. Loud enough for everyone to hear.

“Please… I'm neither of those. I'm sure-”

“WHAT.”

He heard everyone say, In union. Shoto was taken aback. 

“And humble?! God, how perfect can you be?!”

Mina said, with a hint of despair, and jealousy..Shoto has lost track of anything anyone is saying anymore. He couldn't understand if they were joking with him or not. Either way, he didn't get it. He knew his character, and those words were very far away from how he would describe himself. 

He doesn't pay it any more mind. Instead, he has remembered today's schedule. He takes a look at the time, 12am. He'd still have an hour. Though, he decides to head back to his room, Izukus entrance has reminded him of his own homework. He had totally forgotten after everything happening at once. Better do it now, rather than last minute. He takes off.

“Ayo , where are you going? You literally just came?”

“ Forgot I had homework.”

He answered Denki, as he leaves them behind.

“Homework… We have ..do ours too… Shut up… And this is w.. we are not his favor-  Shut it.”

Shoto would hear various muffled voices as he walks further into the hallway. He couldn't identify the owners anymore, it sounded more like one long, broken up sentence. 

He reaches his room, and quickly gets to work. He grabs one of his books, a notebook, and his pencil case, puts them on his desk, and sits down. He opens his book to page 132, and starts reading the text he'd have to analyze. It was a political speech, a speech related to World War 2. He somewhat got the gist of it… Not really, but that won't be a problem, as he only needed to analyze the argumentation and language. He was certain he could come up with some interpretations and explanations related to some stylistic means. This wasn't the first time he'd be doing this, after all. And so he wrote, one sentence after another. Connecting proof with interpretation, and forming a nice red string to follow. He was quite proud of himself. 

The next hour would pass quick, he had set himself a timer for 50 min. Leaving him enough time to get ready, In terms of appearance, and mentally. His alarm sound rings, and Shoto was once again met with that horrible sound. He would have changed it then and there, but he'd have no time. One day, he will change it. 

Shoto leaves his homework open on his table, he was about halfway finished with his analysis, only a few more quotes, and the conclusion.

He walks towards his closet, and grabs a solid light purple colored T-shirt, with a grape mild tea, and a few sentences printed on it. It was a gift from Fuyumi for his birthday. He wasn't sure if he liked it at first, but he has been falling in love with it over the years. He pairs it with simple white pants, and a very dark purple, short-sleeved shirt to top it off, left unbuttoned.

He takes off towards the bathroom, straight to the second sink on the right, he gets a second look at himself. …

Mina's words shot through his head. He wasn't good looking. With this huge scar on his face? He leans forward, and splashes his face with water, then brushes his teeth, and shakes his head to fix his hair, which was fine before, but just in case. He looks at himself one last time, then returns to his room. 

He takes a look at the time, 12:59 am. He quickly grabs his simple, black converse from the still open closet floor, closes it, and takes off. His heart has started racing again, was it excitement? Stress? He wasn't sure, but he would ignore it for now. 

As he walks through the halls, he would hear various voices from afar. He saw Izuku, already standing by the entrance, talking to Ochaco, and some more sitting on the couch. He couldn't hear their conversation quite yet, but he would hear one loud “Stop!” and Ochaco jokingly hitting his shoulder. Shoto wondered what they were talking about. 

“Ah, there he is! Well, you guys have fun~”

Ochaco said, once she has noticed Shotos arrival. She had an unusually mischievous look on her face. While Izuku answered her with an opposing, scared looking expression. He turns towards Shoto.

“You ready? Great! Let's go!”

Izuku takes off towards the door. Shoto follows, while peeking at Ochaco once more. She smiled. What made her so happy? Shoto would hear some people asking where they're going, and Ochaco would answer them.

Izuku, already standing by the door, holding it open, says his goodbyes. Shoto walks out the door Izuku had held open for him, then waits for Izuku to catch up, until they're walking beside each other. Izuku would smile at him, then lead towards the big entrance gate. Shoto follows. 

Izuku wore a simple, light green t-shirt, paired with dark blue short's, and his iconic red shoes. An outfit made for Izuku. 

They walk in silence. Shoto still struggled to keep his heart in pace. They exit the gate. Izuku would turn to him every once in a while, it seemed as though he wanted to say something. But he never ended up doing so. 

They reach the train station. I'd be a short 5min wait until the train arrived. It wasn't as crowded as Shoto feared, thankfully. They sit down. 

“... What's your favorite snack?”

Izuku finally broke the silence, as the train takes off.

“Salty?”

Shoto answered.

“Same! I thought about popcorn too, I mean, it's the classic. … So, chips and popcorn?”

“Sounds good.”

Izuku smiles. Then turns away, and leans his head sideways, as if he were thinking.

Meanwhile, Shoto has calmed down. His heartbeat has lowered to a solid 80bpm. Not quite his resting heart rate, but close enough. He would much rather focus on Izuku than his fears. Just like Aizawa had told him.

The ride continues, and they would soon reach the city. They head straight into the grocery store. They head to the snacks section. Izuku grabs a bag of classic, paprika chips, then walks past Shoto to search for the popcorn. Shoto felt kind of useless, as he only watched Izuku run around and grab things. Though, Izuku would ask his opinion on certain things, to which he answered. They head to the checkout, and Izuku pays for it. Shoto realized this only after they had exited the store. He felt bad.

“ Sorry, you had to pay..”

“Huh? Oh thats Ok! It wasn't much after all!

Shoto looked down, Izuku carried a small fabric bag, containing their chips, and popcorn.  Without asking, he reaches out his arms to take it. Izuku looks surprised, as he takes a small step back, and slightly lifts the bag Shoto is now also holding on to. 

“I'll carry it.”

He said. He would look into Izuku's eyes, now, much closer than usually. Izuku looks at him with wide eyes, then distanced himself with a few steps.

“.. Thank you! But you didn't have to..”

Izuku said, sheepishly. Shoto couldn't explain himself, why he jumpscared Izuku as much as he did. But he would choose to ignore it. Just like he would chose to ignore how close they had been just a few seconds ago.

“Alright! What now?” 

Izuku started walking, Shoto follows. 

“ Anything is fine.”

“...”

Izuku's face suddenly drops. Then returns to its usual resting position.

“We could take a walk...around the park?”

“Sure.”

Izukus smile returns, then stops to look around. 

“In that case…this way.”

Izuku walks ahead, Shoto follows, until he catches up. They walk towards the park, close by the city.

They would immediately notice the quiet nature of it. Inside the heart of the city, it was loud, voices, and people everywhere. Here, they would hear the wind, and the leaves shaking on the trees. They would see a few people sitting on one of the many benches, some older couples, a middle-aged man, and some people around their age. Izuku leads them to a side path, leading to an area with more trees and bushes. It was empty here, no one on the benches, no one walking this way. They are alone.

“Want to sit down?”

Izuku asked, to which Shoto nods. They take seat on the bench, under a big tree, and nature around them. Birds would sing their songs, and the bag crackles, as it was set down on the bench. 

“Sorry, I kind of lead us to the middle of no where.”

“Dont be, I like it. It's quiet.”

“.. Right? It's nice.”

Silence. The two of them enjoy listening to the wind, and watching the birds jump around on the ground. Shoto took a quick look at Izuku, he had a troubled look on his face once again. Shoto wondered if he should call it out, or not. There had to have been a reason Izuku lead them here. But he wouldn't have to.

“Can I ask you something?”

Izuku suddenly said. 

“ Of course.”

“...You wouldn't lie to me, would you?”

Shoto was taken aback by the serious tone. Did he notice something? Has he done something wrong? Izuku would break his thoughts.

"Sorry, that didn't come off how I wanted... Let me try again . You wouldn't tell me I haven't done anything wrong if I actually did, right?”

Shoto could imagine what Izuku meant, he had their entire conversation from yesterday burned in his mind. 

“ I wouldn't. And ill say it again, you've done nothing wrong.”

“I see.”

“...”

“...”

The wind blew loudly, all around them.

“Agh! I completely ruined the mood, didn't I…sorry.”

Izuku laughed in self-pity.

“.. I wouldn't say that.”

“...”

“...You would have ruined it if you got up and left… hypothetically.”

Izuku's face lit up a little. 

“Is that so? .. Thank god, I won't have to worry then.”

He smiled. Then turns away again. The leaves are rustling, in a gentle, swishing sound.

“ Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

“... I still dont really understand what's wrong, I mean I dont have to- but… I want to know… I want to be there, for you…But, I guess, im not sure if thats what you want…”

He takes a moment.

“I'm not sure about anything anymore.”

Izuku looks up at the sky. Shoto had tried to comfort Izuku, but the words wouldn't come out. 

“If I were to spend each second of every day with you from now on…”

He holds himself. And turns his head towards Shoto. Their eyes meet.

“.. What would you do?”

Shoto felt his body tense up, heart race, and eyes freeze in place. He forcefully moves them down, but returns them, as his mouth began to open. Then, without thinking.

“Nothing.”

Izuku sat still, his expression could only be explained as an unnerving calmness. It would slowly develop into surprise, then broke into a smile. 

“Really?”

Shoto couldn't keep his eyes away from him. He wondered why Izuku had asked that, but decided he didn't care, as he also wondered if Izuku meant what he said seriously, or not. Was there a reality in which they would spend each second of each day together? 

He nods. 

“ Good to know.”

Izuku said, with a big smile. Turning his head to face the trees in front of him. 

The singing of the birds connected into a beautiful melody.

“ Mhm, I think I'm ok now.”

He looks towards Shoto.

“Wanne go back into the city?”

Izuku said. He seemed to glow in the few rays of light shining through the treetops. For the first time, Shoto wasn't afraid of whatever met him on the path in front of them. He felt as though all the worries he'd have up until now have vanished, disappeared from reality. Right now, all that mattered what this. Shoto smiled, as he grabs the bag, and gets up.

“Let's go.”

He said, leading them back down the side path, towards the city. Izuku follows, until he catches up, right beside him. 

They spend the rest of the time window shopping, looking at various clothing stores, game stops, and food stalls. Izuku wouldn't think about the many unanswered questions that had bothered him for so long. Shoto wouldn't think about the many possibilities, and dark paths his future could take. They simply walked, talked, and enjoyed each other's company.

"By the way, what time it is?”

Izuku asked, as they walk back towards the park. Shoto takes out his phone, and turns it on. He looked at the time in surprise.

“5:35 pm”

“What?! That didn't feel like 4 and a half hours…”

“Scary.”

“ Well, I suppose, we head back now? Right in time for dinne-”

Izuku stopped, then frowns.

“You alright?”

Shoto asked. Surprised at the sudden change of mood.

“If we eat dinner at 6, then watch the movie at 7, what did we get the snacks for?”

They look at each other, as they realized their mistake. Izuku breaks into a small chuckle, Shoto tries to hold back his own.

“We could push it back a few hours..”

“ I mean, we could? Are 3 hours enough? 9pm? We can use the time to prepare…and maybe homework?”

“.. Have you finished yours?”

“No… I got stuck midway through… I cant find anything more to say…but what I have it not enough.”

“I could help you.”

“...”

Shoto said, without thinking, again.

“ - Only if you need it. Of course.”

Izuku smiled.

“I need it! I was gonna ask for help, eventually!”

Shoto felt relieved. Letting down his walls wouldn't bite him in the ass this time. It even helped him, surprisingly enough.

“ Alright. Let's head back, then. We wouldn't want to be late for dinner. It'll be a close call, though..”

The two of them walk back to the train station. The next train would arrive in roughly 10 min. They would use the time to talk, about irrelevant topics, anything they could come up with.

The train arrives, and they sit down. It was more crowded than before, but Shoto wouldn't care, as he was knees deep into a discussion with Izuku. The question: How on earth does Present Mic's hair work. Physically speaking. They argued the entire way home, but couldn't find an answer. It seems that question will be a mystery forever. 

They find themselves standing in front of the door, leading into the dorms. 6:10pm. Izuku opens it slowly. As they enter, they would be greeted by a wonderful smell, and their classmates, all sitting by the table. 

“There you are! You're late!”

They heard Tenya scream through the room, as they take off their shoes, and step inside.

“Sorry! We missed the train, we had to wait an extra 10 min.”

They did miss the train, but they also didn't care to catch it in time. Shoto wouldn't mention it.

Tenya steps towards them. His glasses had turned completely white, a dark aura would radiate around him. Shoto prepared himself. He had expected some sort of speech, or punishment, but instead. 

  “Did you have fun?”

Izuku and Shoto look at each other in confusion, then look back at Tenya.

“Yes.”

“Great! Now come over and eat with us!”

Tenya looks satisfied. For some reason, as he walks back, fast pace, to the chair he had been sitting on. Izuku follows, then stops, and looks behind him.

“You coming?”

Shoto looks down at the bag we was holding.

“Oh, right. I'll get it to my room! You chose good seats for us, k?”

Izuku takes the bag out of Shotos hands, and jogs away. 

“Us”, that word would echo through Shotos head. He walks over to the table, and looks for two seats, right next to each other. Two chairs for them. 

“What have you been doing for that long? Didn't you say you only wanted a few things?”

Eijiro asked. Shoto never said anything, Ochaco did. But that doesn't matter. He wouldn't mention it. 

“We did. And after that, not much, walking mostly. Time just flew by.”

“Who cares! They had fun, thats all that matters. And now they're here, so let's eat!”

He hears Ochaco say next to him on the chair. She loos up, and gave a small thumbs up. Shoto wondered why, but decided to not question it any further. 

Izuku would soon join them, and they all enjoyed some rice, mixed with various vegetables and pieces of chicken. 

Chapter Text

“Hey guys, it's 7pm already.”

Shoto hears Ochaco say next to him. Izuku answers. 

“We pushed it back to 9.”

Shoto couldn't follow. How did Izuku answer without a question? He wouldn't bother for long, he'd push his seat back ever so slightly, allowing Ochaco and Izuku to talk without him in between.

“ Oh, I see. Any plans until then?”

“Yes…actually.”

“.. And they, are?”

“Well, I still have some homework to do, and…uhm…coincidently, so does Todoroki. And since I'm stuck…”

“ Say no more.”

Ochaco interrupts. She had that mischievous smile on her face again. Shoto was confused once more. It almost felt like these two had some secret knowledge, or their own language Shoto couldn't be allowed to understand. 

“Alright, I'm heading out.”

Izuku gets up. He stops to look at Shoto, expectantly. Shoto follows. 

“Okk, have fun you two~”

Ochaco waves them off. Izuku quickly turns and walks towards the hallway. Shoto stays, and takes another look at Ochaco. She seems happy, and as she noticed him, she moves her eyes, indicating Shoto to catch up. He nods, then turns, and walks away. He wouldn't understand, but he would feel Ochacos positive influence on them, something he was infinitely grateful for.

Izuku had waited not too far away from them, he catches up. They walk towards the hallway, through to where their rooms reside.

“Let me get my stuff real quick.”

Shoto said, as they approach his own room.

“Sure thing, ill go ahead. I'm leaving the door open.”

They split up. Shoto opens the door to his room, and enters. Silence. He turns on the lights.

Everything stood just the way he left it in. His homework, open on the desk. He would take this moment to calm down. Not that he was anxious again, but he felt like today was a lot. First Aizawa, then the city, and almost a full day with Izuku on top. He couldn't help but feel his battery aching for energie. He walks towards his desk, and organizes his book, notebook, and pencil case on top of each other, forming a little pyramid, easier to pick up once he leaves. He would stay, kneeled down, for a few minutes. 

Does she know something? More than me thats for sure… Well, doesn't matter, I suppose.

Shoto grabs his little pyramid of homework, and walks back towards the door. He would take a stop right next to his closet. 

I should change.

Shoto returns the pyramid to its spot on the desk, and walks back to the closet. He takes out simple, black sweatpants, and a white sweater, and changs into it. Now, he'd feel comfy, and ready to go.

He grabs his homework pyramid, for real this time, turns off the lights, and exits his room. He walks through the, now dark, hallway. Just a few rooms ahead was Izuku's room. He hadn't been there since their last talk in there. The memories of that day would still haunt him, even now. But he told himself, today wouldn't turn out that way. Today would be a good day, a day he will remember, one that will shine like gold in his memories. 

He reaches Izuku's room, the door was slightly opened, as he was told. He carefully opens it. 

“Hi!”

Izuku said as Shoto peeks inside, sitting by his desk, over his books. Izukus room was covered in a soft, dimming light, lit by a small yellow night lamp, only broken close to his desk, where a bright, white desk lamp stood. Shoto closes the door behind him. To his right, sitting on top of Izuku's bed, was a laptop, two blankets, pillows, and the snacks they had bought before. Shoto has realized before, but this time, it would jump out to him more than usual. 

The room was filled with Izuku's scent. 

“ Oh right, not much space in here, just put your things…anywhere, really… Hold up.”

Izuku left, running past him, and exiting through the door. Shoto wasn't sure why he'd be leaving now, but he would trust for him to return soon. 

He didn't quite know what to do with himself. He carefully took one step after the other, further into Izukus room. He would admire all of his All Might posters on the wall, and figures standing on the surface next to his desk.

Shoto loved All Might, maybe not as much as Izuku, but he admired him nonetheless. Even now, his admiration for the retired All Might would stay strong. He would never show it, of course. He had learned to keep these thoughts hidden. Saying he loved All Might would equal to a death wish back then, with Endeavor haunting him. Since then, hasn't told anyone. With little to no exceptions.

He places his homework on Izuku's desk, and risks taking a closer look at one of Izuku's figures. He couldn't even imagine, how happy this would have made him back then. Even now, but he would probably think about gifting it to Izuku instead. All Might may make him happy, but making Izuku happy would mean the world to him. 

He carefully picks up one of the figures, amazed by its quality. How much was this worth, exactly? He didn't want to know. 

Suddenly, the door opens. He jumped a bit, then quickly returned the figure to its original spot. 

“...”

“Sorry .”

“For what?”

Izuku answers, he smiled. Shoto had feared Izuku getting mad at him. He knew how much he cared about these figures. But Izuku didn't seem to mind.

“ I got you a chair from the living room. Here you go!”

Izuku carries in a small brown chair, and places it next to his own desk chair. 

“ That one's cool, isn't it?”

Izuku said, as he walks back to close the door, then placed himself to Shoto´s left. 

“I remember when it came out, I begged my mom to get it for me. She said no at first, cause it was SO expensive, but I was stubborn.”

Izuku was looking at the figure Shoto has held up before. Admiring it, just like he did just a few seconds ago.

“It's awesome.”

“Right?! I mean, look at those details! They even got the little folds around his mouth!”

Izuku said, excitedly. Like a little kid. Shoto couldn't help but stare at him. His smile.

Izuku looks away from the figure, and up, at him. Their eyes meet. Izuku seems confused.  

“.. Is, something wrong?..”

Shoto asked, carefully. As his nerves spike up.  

“Nothing, I was just surprised to see you interesting in the figures.”

Oh

“You never had one?”

“No, none at all. I always wanted one of these, thought. But you can imagine how impossible that was back then.”

“...”

Izuku looks at him, surprise written all over his face.

“ You wanted All Might figures when you were younger?!”

He nods.

“ Woah, I never would have thought. You always seemed so distant back then, even towards All Might. I guess some feelings disappear over time…”

Shoto was torn. 

“... that was all acting.”

“Huh?”

Shoto managed to surprise Izuku once again. Including himself, once again.

“I've always admired him. But I never let that show. It always comes back to me whenever I see your room.”

Izuku was too stunned to speak. Same with Shoto, he couldn't believe how easily he let that slip. No one knew about this, except for his mother.

He would always have at least 2 walls up, one for protection, and one in case the first one breaks. Where were these walls now? It seems like they simply disappeared. How could he trust Izuku this much? For all he knows, he could go around telling everyone else- 

No. He wouldn't do that.

Shoto didn't know that for sure.

He wouldn't. I've known him for long enough.

People can change. Look at yourself. 

He definitely wouldn't. 

...

“Todoroki?”

“... sorry.”

“Dont be. Makes sense, you weren't even allowed to have interests. It's not fair..”

Izuku looks down.

“If you ever want to relive your wishes, I wouldn't mind giving you some of my stuff.”

Shoto turns to face Izuku, surprised at the offer. He smiled, so full of care, and kindness.  Izuku loved his All might merch, and there he was, offering to give some of it away. He wouldn't actually consider it, but treasured the trust Izuku has put in him.

“Oh no, you dont have to do that. But, I appreciate the offer..”

Shoto couldn't face Izuku for long, as he felt his heartbeat rising. Shoto would realize, they are standing quite close to each other.

…

“Alright, but the offer stands! Also, should we start with homework? We wouldn't want it to get too late.”

Izuku changed the subject.

“..yea.”

Shoto was torn.

“..actually, can you promise me something?..”

Izuku wondered, but nods soon after.

“.. can you, keep that a secret?”

Izuku blinks at him, then smiles.

“Of course. Dont even worry about it, my lips are sealed!”

Shoto trusts Izuku. He could tell by his expression. Izuku wouldn't lie to him. At least he hoped, so, very much. 

“Thanks. Let's get to it then.”

“Alright!”

Shoto takes the homework pyramid from the bed. Izuku had already sat down, moving his own books aside, to make space for Shoto. He joins, places his pyramid on the desk, and takes seat on the small brown chair.

Shoto would move it ever so slightly away from Izuku, as his fears have taken over him once again. Izuku doesn't notice, as he was already reading whatever he has written down in his notebook. Then, he looks up.

"Did you mention the repetition in line 30?”

“.. I did, pretty sure”

“Hm, ok. I wasn't sure about it. What else did you find?”

“Well, I mostly focused on the word choice… I hardly remember all the stylistic devices. But I did get the Metaphor.”

“ Same…yea… I should also focus on word choice, thats so much easier!”

Shoto could practically see the lightbulb over his head light up. Izuku got straight to work, grabbing his pen, and writing, line after line. Shoto would do the same, focus on his work. But he couldn't do it as well as Izuku did. Sometimes, he felt as though Izuku had forgotten his existence entirely. He admired him for that. 

It wouldn't take Shoto long, though, to fix his pen on the notebook, and get to writing as well. He only needed a few more things, it wouldn't take long. 

Shoto would notice before, but this time, it would jump out to him. Somehow, homework seemed a lot more fun this way, only the two of them, working, but he would feel, and hear Izuku doing the same next to him. When he was alone, the silence would drown him, right now, it felt comforting. It wouldn't be like this whenever they had met up as a group. It would be loud, noisy. They would ask each other a lot of questions, speak out each sentence they write, which was the entire point of the meetup, but it always slightly bothered him. 

He writes his last sentence, and closes his notebook. Izuku wouldn't notice. Shoto tried looking over, somehow grabbing his attention, but Izuku was in a mode in which he drowns out everything, and everyone else, as if he was swallowed whole by his analysis. Shoto would stop trying, as to not bother him in his work flow. He would simply look at him. For as long as Izuku let him. Just like Izuku was swallowed up in his homework, Shoto as well, was hypnotized. His eyes focused on Izuku, his pupils running from left to right, his hand, moving to his face, covering his mouth, then being used as a pillar for his head. Shoto didn't know how long he has been staring. 

Izuku leans back.

“Finally! I think I'm done!”

He looks over. Shotos eyes wouldn't move, as if they froze.

“Are you done already?”

Shoto caught himself.

“ Yes. Sor- .. Uhm, never mind.”

Shoto looks away, Izuku surprised. Then he would hear a small chuckle. 

“You're apologizing a lot today, and for no reason, too!”

Shoto tried his hardest not to say “Sorry” again. Though, he really wanted to.

Izuku looks at the time. 7:56pm. 

“Hm, we still got time left…or we start an hour early, who cares about plans at this point…”

Izuku looks at him, as if he was asking him for an answer.

“We can start early.”

“Great! I'll get the movie ready.”

Izuku quickly jumps up, on top of his bed, and sits down in a crossed legged position, leaning against the wall behind him, and the laptop right in front of him. Shoto decides to organize both his, and Izukus homework into little pyramids. He wouldn't know why Izuku needed it, but he wanted to do it anyway…he needed anything to do.

His nerves have spiked once again, now, that they'd be doing the thing he was looking forward to the entire time. Shoto turns around on his chair, to see Izuku also looking up at him, patting the bed, telling Shoto to come sit next to him. Shoto gets up. Before walking towards Izuku though, he would notice something. His focus shifted to the desk lamp, still shining its bright, white light. He turns to face Izuku.

“Oh right, I forgot. Could you turn off the light?”

Shoto turns off the desk lamp, then the small dimming night lamp, sitting to the left of the bed, close to the door leading to the small balcony. Now, the room was solely lit by the screen of the laptop.

He steps onto the bed, carefully, and positions himself on the spot Izuku had patted. As he sits down, he would touch Izukus shoulder with his own, quickly moving away seconds later, shifting ever so slightly more to the left, also fixing himself in a cross-legged position. Izuku would notice. 

He shifts over the laptop, enough for Shoto to see the screen, and grabs the pillows, and blankets, throwing on of each into Shotos lab. Shoto puts them to the side for now. 

Izuku places one pillow behind him, and uses the blanket to cover himself, leaving only the head peeking out. The blanket was way too long, leaving a few folds all around him, even reaching towards Shoto. A second pillow would sit between his arms. Shoto looks over at his own pillow, and does the same, except for the blanket, he would decide to leave it there. 

He watches Izuku open both the chips, and popcorn bag, and placing them close enough for them to reach. 

Izuku takes one popcorn, and throws it in the air, catching it with his mouth. He looks at Shoto, then at the popcorn, then back at him. Shoto knew what he had to do. He reaches for the popcorn, takes one, and throws it in the air. He couldn't catch it, instead, it would hit the tip of his nose, and fall right in front of him, into his lab. Izuku smiled, holding back a laugh.

“Second try!”

Shoto takes on the challenge, he picks up his last failure, and throws it in the air. 

He caught it. 

“There you go! Second times the charm!” 

Izuku seemed happy, Shoto felt easy. His nerves have calmed down a bit. And now, he would try his best to keep his smiles hidden. He still wondered why he wanted to hide them, but sometimes, his mind automatically proceeded his actions, he wouldn't question it anymore. 

“Ready?”

Izuku asks. Shoto nods.

“Alright! I'm so excited for you to see this!”

Izuku seemed to like this movie a lot. Even Shoto couldn't wait to see.

And so, it began. "Nimona". Shoto gets introduced to Ballister, Ambrosious and Nimona, and watches Ballister lose his arm to the person he loves.  

“Why.”

Shoto whispers, with quite disappointment.

“.. I know…trust the process….”

Izuku whispers back.

Shoto was quite surprised at first. Obviously, he knew people could fall in love with another. But he would rarely see two guys, two girls or diverse. Usually, I'd be the same: guy loves girl story. He hated those. They wouldn't make sense to him. Thankfully, his friends never forced him to fully watch any movie he wasn't interested in. 

Shoto could tell why Izuku liked this Movie as much as he did. The animation style, and quality were great, the characters lovable, and the story diverse, packed with joy, fear, anger, love, misunderstanding and forgiveness. 

They are now roughly halfway through the movie, chips, and popcorn thinner than before. 

Shoto has been fully captured, he was actually interested, invested. So much so, he would stop thinking about Izuku for once. He had shortly forgotten that Izuku was sitting right next to him, shoulder to shoulder. 

What, I moved away. How.

He was suddenly fully aware of Izuku's existence once again. He wouldn't move. 

Did I move towards him unconsciously? Or was it him? No, no. Movie. 

Shoto´s focus returned to the movie. Or so he wished. Instead, he would catch himself thinking. Thinking about how close they were. Thinking about how warm, and comfortable, he felt. Various pictures would appear in his mind, pictures of two people holding hands, hugging, kissing. He couldn't stop himself. For a few seconds, he has lost the context following the movie, but he would quickly catch up. 

Time passes, and the movie continues.

The story seems to be picking up again, turning the dark moods hopeful. The main antagonist was finally exposed, and the rest seemed to be on good terms again. 

Shoto even managed to regain his focus. The movie continues.

Now, he would see Ballistar and Ambrosius talk. They had been apart for a long time, and Shoto feared they would drift apart. As the talk between them unfolds, Shoto would feel something next to him. On his shoulder, something heavy. His heart stopped, as he realized what had happened. He moves his eyes to his right shoulder, and watches Izuku's head laying right on top of it. His eyes return to the movie. 

Ballistar and Ambrosius seem to be fighting, and Shoto felt Izuku snuggling up next to him. As though Izuku was sending some kind of message. A message Shoto could hardly swallow. Hardly fathom. 

Was it safe to say now? Can he safely assume this to be a confirmation? Could these feelings actually be mutual? Shoto´s emotions swelled up, he felt overwhelming excitement, happiness. He could feel his body tensing up, heart screaming, and temperature rising.

The movie continues. 

Now, even Nimona and Ballistar were fighting. Shoto didn't want them to drift apart as well. 

“Come on, say it. SAY IT.” 

Shoto´s rising emotions quickly take a turn, as he watches things fall apart. He had feared to move before. Now, he would lean his head to the side, letting it rest on top of Izuku's head. It was apparent, the darker the movie became, the more Shoto would lean towards Izuku. 

A few moments later, Izuku moved away, and Shoto lifted his head. It wouldn't take long for him to understand why Izuku did so, as he quickly raises the left side of his blanket, and places it around Shoto, returning his head to sit on top of his shoulder right after. 

[Again, you can play the song while you read :) Nimonas theme - Christophe Beck ]

Shoto felt warm, safe, as he now watches the two girls jump through the grass, and the calm humming accompanying their joy.

All this time, even back when he was younger, tormented by his father, he had always longed for this. Comfort. Whenever he was hurt, sad, crying, he would use pillows or blankets. He was never allowed any stuffed animals, and even his mother abandoned him. He remembered how closely he would keep them, holding them so tight. And now, he would hold on to Izuku, as tight as he can. 

The music turns into a terrifying melody. Shoto leans his head to the side once more. He watches Nimona, alone, in the forest, tortured by her memories, and corrupting. 

He pushes himself closer, and slides his arm around Izuku's. He felt another hand grabbing his own. It felt surreal, overwhelming, nice. He felt calm, exited, sad. 

The movie had fully consumed him and his emotions. Usually, movies wouldn't do that to him, but this one was different. This one would bring him to the edge. 

He continues to hold Izuku tight. The movie continues.

The sweet, humming voice returns. And Nimonas painful, horrifying scream, as she leans back, facing the sword, aching to end her suffering, would send him over the edge. 

He felt his vision blur, as tears started to form in his eyes.

“I see you, Nimona. And you're not alone.”

The tears would finally escape his eyes, streaming down his face. This would be the first time he cried near someone else. And because of a movie. He didn't care. He has lost his walls, but he wouldn't rebuild them. Right now, he didn't need them.

Because he has Izuku, right next to him. 

The movie is reaching towards its end. Ballister and Ambrosius are back together, and Nimona thankfully returned. Shoto felt one last tear falling, landing right between his legs.

The ending song echoes through the room. And Shoto felt, empty. Not a bad kind of empty, a kind you get after thoroughly crying yourself out. 

Izuku slowly raises his head, Shoto does the same. He uses his free hand to wipe away the tears in his face. But he couldn't fix himself, he was a mess.

“ ...this movie always gets me…”

Izuku whispered, with a voice, ever so shaky, as if he had also been crying. Izuku leans forward, reaching towards the little night lamp. The blanket, which had been keeping them warm, falls off of him, and their hands separate. Shoto heard a clicking sound, followed by light covering the room in a soothing light yellow. 

Shoto had just realized, just how dark the room had become during the movie. He continues to wipe away tears, now with both of his hands. Izuku returns next to him. They get a first look at each other.

Shoto stares at Izuku, his eyes ever so slightly red. And his eyebrows slowly lifting, as his expression unfolds. Izuku stares at Shoto´s face, eyes red, Shiny, and watery. His expression, soft, and tired. Izuku smiled.

“ Did you like the movie?”

He said, in a soft voice. Shoto´s face lifted, and he lets out a smile. 

“ I didn't know Movies could hit you this hard. Painfully good.”

“Right? I knew you'd like it.”

Izuku smiles brightly, as he returned to his old position, next to Shoto. Izuku pushes himself as close as he can, and lifts the blanked around him. 

“I've never seen you like this before.”

Shoto leans his head to the side.

“You're the first I showed it to.”   

Izuku slips his arm around Shoto´s.

“ I'll treasure it.”

Shoto takes his hand, and holds it tight. He closes his eyes, and hears the music come to an end. The room filled with silence. Now, it was just them, together, enjoying the moment. 

They hold on to each other tightly. Shoto would let his mind drift away. All he could think about was how safe he felt, how comfortable he felt, how happy he felt. He wished for this moment to never end. For them to never end.

He thought about the past couple of days, his mental breakdowns, Aizawa helping him through them, he thought about Izuku, his actions, and how everything finally makes sense. It makes sense, for him, but, what about Izuku?

I never got to tell him the truth. But I can now. I can be honest. I can tell him everything, and properly apologize!

“Midoriya?”

“hm?”

“.. I'm not sure if this is the right moment, but can I apologize one last time?”

Izuku took a moment to answer.

“Of course.”

“I'm sorry for lying. I just couldn't tell you. And you felt so responsible. You really were the reason for my weird acting, but not because you did something wrong.”

He takes a breath.

“I just couldn't handle my feelings for you. I couldn't accept that I had fallen for you.”

The words echo through the room.

“And im sorry for avoiding you. I think, you can imagine the reason… I hope.”

Shoto felt the bricks on his shoulders falling off. His chest feeling as light as never before. Finally, he could be honest, not just with Izuku, but himself.  

Izuku takes even longer to answer this time. He felt Izuku pressing himself closer.

“I'm not resentful. I have forgiven you already. And also, I get the feeling. It took Uraraka, and a few restless nights, to get me sorted out.” 

Izuku laughed sheepishly.

“But It's nice to finally have all the answers. Though… I cant…fully process them…”

He hears Izuku struggle to understand, laughing in embarrassment. Shoto smiles. And this time, it would stay, for far longer than ever before. Suddenly, everything felt ok. The world seemed easy, bright and colorful.

And his mind was finally quiet. 

Chapter Text

“What time is it?”

Izuku asked. Shoto lifts his head, and takes a look at the clock.

“10pm.”

“Hm… Are you tired yet?”

“Not really. Besides… I dont want to leave.”

Izuku chuckled.

“ I dont want you to leave either.”

“Glad we can agree on this.”

Shoto leaned further onto Izuku, they slightly wobble to the right, then back to the left. 

They would smile.

“Oh, by the way-”

Izuku started.

“You were talking to Aizawa a lot. Can I ask what that was all about?”

“Oh, well. It's pretty simple. Remember the tournament we did 3 days ago? Wednesday?”

“I do.. very well.”

“Aizawa noticed something wasn't right, and after…well…that night. He asked me over to talk about it.”

“You mean, you told him?”

“No. Well, not at that point, but he knew..”

“I see… Did you talk again today?”

“Yes. Unexpectedly.. I did call him but, I dont know. It was a good decision, I think, but not planned at all.”

“Why did you call him in the first place?”

“He said to do so whenever I felt hopeless, and, I was, so I called. More out of instinct than logic.”

“What made you feel hopeless? That was just this morning, right?”

“...your change.”

“My change?”

“You acted different today, and I was overthinking it… Not just that, I guess, but it did light the fire.”

“No. Was I that obvious?”

“Yes. Now that I think about it with a clear head. Very obvious.”

“No wonder Uraraka teased me all day…”

“Uraraka? Does she know?”

“What? Oh, yea, she does…”

“You did mention it, she helped you.”

“Yea.. I guess we both needed someone to punch some sense into us, huh?”

Izuku laughed at their helplessness.

“ But im glad they did.”

Izuku said, reflectively.

“Same.”

Izuku moves away from Shotos shoulder, and positions himself slightly in front of him. 

He watches Izukus staring right back at him.

“Your eyes look less red now.”

…

“Do they?”

“yea.”

Their eyes stay on each other. Izuku had a soft smile on his face, one Shoto couldn't take his eyes off of. He would remember, a certain song, certain lyrics, now singing in his mind. 

♪ Maybe I'm delusional, you're just that kind of beautiful ♪. He had an idea.

“Can I show you something?”

Shoto said, quite excitedly, for his standards. Even Izuku was taken aback, but ultimately happy he got to see one more side of Shoto he hasn't previously seen before.

“Of course!”

Shoto looks towards the laptop, and opens Spotify, which he saw at the bottom of the bar. And he would type in “Different kind of beautiful”.

“ A song?”

Izuku asked.

“Yes. Let's say, I have a history with it. And I just got reminded of it again.”

“Your favorite song?”

“Maybe. I did listen to it a lot.”

“Play it!”

Shoto was torn. Whether to explain its meaning to him, he would look at Izuku. He looks back, expectantly. Shoto decides to just play the song.

Izuku listened carefully, Shoto watches Izuku look at the screen, the lyrics. 

“ Wait, I heard that one before…or did I? I feel like I know it from somewhere..”

“You actually remember?”

“What? I remembered something?”

Shoto smiled, slightly, but visible.

"I see. I'll confirm it for you. You have heard this song before.”

“But where? And when?”

♪ Yea I'm helpless ♪

Izuku let out a gasp.

“Oh! oh. Right, I remember.”

Shoto could tell by the sad expression. He really did remember.

“What if I told you this song was the reason everything escalated.”

"What. How??”

“Just listen to the lyrics.”

“I did? It's a love song, surprisingly so..But what does that have to do with- o...OH.”

Shoto watches Izuku closely. Has he figured it out?

“Wait. I'm not sure anymore.”

“Really?”

“...”

Izuku looks at him. Shoto watches his cheeks turning into a soft red shade, then turning away his head. 

“ Nope, no idea, actually.”

Shoto was amused, he loved talking to Izuku, so casually. He loved watching Izuku, closely, and as much as he liked, without seeming weird. He loved Izuku.

“Sure, ill explain then.”

Shoto rewinds the song to its chorus, and plays it once more.

“It's exactly what I think whenever I look at you. It's scary how pretty you are. And it was scary hearing my thoughts blasted through the living room.”

The chorus plays once more. ♪ You're a Different kind of beautiful, the kind that makes me scared. The kind that makes me turn around and act like I'm not there. The kind that takes my breath away, and leaves me without air. Maybe I'm delusional, you're just that kind of beautiful ♪

Shoto looks towards Izuku, who now fully turned his head away from him. He would see his flushed ears, though. 

“You cant just say that…”

He whispered.

“Why not?”

Shoto replied, still amused.

“I dont know what to say… ”

“No need to, just accept the truth.”

“...”

Shoto realized himself. His calmness. His honesty. He couldn't believe it.

“Its weird. Even im not sure why everything seems so easy now. I guess, I just feel safe around you. I trust you”

“...please, I cant handle any more..”

Shoto watches Izuku bury his face within his hands. He thought about calling him out on his sweet behavior, but decided not to, as Izuku seemed troubled enough. The thought would make his smile last longer.

Shoto looks back at the laptop, the song has already finished. He closes it, and pushes it away from him. He takes a look at the time. 10:30pm. Only 30 min passed. Thankfully, Shoto did not want to leave any time soon. He turns his head back towards Izuku, he seemed to have calmed down, as he also looked at the time. 

Izuku sits back against the wall, and leans his head on Shoto. 

“That song is connected to so many bad memories. And it's still your favorite?”

…

“It did scare me at first. But, it was also connected to you. Whenever I hear it, I think of you, and then it kind of turned into something good.”

Izuku lets out a defeated sigh, as he wraps his arms around Shoto´s. Shoto felt a soothing warmth surrounding him. He feels Izuku playing with his hand, turning it, and moving his individual fingers. Shoto smiles, again, as he did throughout the night. Much, much more than ever before, more than he ever thought he would. He never thought he could be this happy, this satisfied, calm, and safe. They would stay like this for a while. Shoto takes another look at the time. 11pm. 

“Hey…”

Izuku started.

“hm?”

“I just thought about it.. Aizawa. Uraraka.. They'll know for sure, but… Is it weird of me to want to keep it a secret?”

“... I wouldn't say that.”

“I just feel like its no one business…you know? I want to do things…without people being aware of it. Or assuming things…just imagine Ashido…or Kaminari..”

“Yea, I feel the same. What we do is none of their business.”

“I suppose Ida is okay? Would feel bad if he was the only one of our group who doesn't know. And I trust him.”

“Uraraka could tell him. If it's too hard to do ourselves.”

“How did you know I was nervous about that??”

“I didn't. I feared it myself.”

“Really?”

“I do trust Ida. Just, not enough. Not as much as I trust you.”

…

“I see.”

Suddenly, they heard a *Ding* coming from the desk. Izuku had gotten a message. 

“Was that your phone?”

“Yea, I'll go look.”

Izuku jumps off of the bed, and grabs his phone, quickly returning to his previous position next to Shoto.

“ Its Uraraka! Oh…”

“What did she say?”

Izuku chuckled, then turns his phone to show the message. “PSST. Are you done with the movie? Did it go well? Did something happen?”. Shoto could only look at the message with surprise. Surprise at Ochacos interest in them.

“What should I say? Just “yes”? Sounds anticlimactic…” 

Shoto looks at him with a tilted head. He wouldn't know about good ways to respond to a text message, as proven to him many times.

“Oh!”

Izuku seemed to have gotten an idea that amused him. Shoto looks at him expectantly. 

“ Oh no, no…we cant..”

“Cant what?”

“I was just thinking, what if we jumpscare her with a photo, but-  Nono a simple “yes” will do”

Izuku's cheeks turned into a soft red shade once more. Shoto wondered what he had imagined. 

“What's wrong with the photo idea?”

“Oh, well, nothing but… I mean, we could just do a simple one…”

“Simple? Oppose to what? 

“Nothing!”

Izuku opens the camera app.

“ I guess this will do.”

Izuku grabs Shotos hand, carefully, yet full of conviction and moves closer. 

“Ready?”

Shoto was ready, but he wouldn't follow the simple plan Izuku was looking for, as an evil thought has entered his mind. Usually, he would carefully think about his actions, but in this case, and pretty much generally around Izuku, he simply let his mind take control. 

Izuku raises his phone, ready to press the button at any point. Right before the photo was taken, Shoto uses his free hand to gently push Izukus face towards him, and places a small kiss in the middle of his cheek.

“Wha - ”

Izuku lost grip o n his phone, it falls onto the bed.

“How did it turn out?”

Shoto asked. Izuku slowly turns his way.

“…”

Izuku's face was covered in shook, with a mix of humor in it. Shoto holds back his smile, but eventually loses at the continues sight of the confused Izuku, who was now covered in red again. He himself couldn't believe how loosely he acted there. 

“ You- I- what-”

Izuku breaks into a laugh.

“I'm not sure how well these turned out, you caught me off guard…”

“That was the plan.”

Izuku faced his head down, focusing on his phone, desperately trying to hide his face. 

He looks at the first photo. As expected, it was very blurry, and was seemingly shot as it fell down. 

“Yep…thats pretty bad..oh, wait, there's one more.”

Izuku swipes to the right, revealing a surprisingly clear picture. A perfect shot, depicting Shoto kissing his cheek, and Izuku, still milliseconds from realizing what had happened. It seemed as through it was planned all along.

“Woah! That actually worked!?”

Shoto stares at the picture in front of him. Izuku had a sweet smile on his face, looking towards the camera. And then there was himself. He could barely believe it was. It wouldn't show the actual kiss, but rather Shoto, face against Izuku's, and smiling. Smiling. The most genuine smile he had ever seen on himself. He was taken aback. Both him and Izuku stare at it, taking in what it showed. 

“Should we, actually send that..?”

Izuku said carefully.

“Even im shocked, Uraraka is gonna have a heart attack!”

He followed up.

“Yea, we shouldn't send that one.”

“Oh?”

“Not with me looking like that..”

“But you look great!”

Izuku looks at him, as if he had said something unbelievable. Shoto could feel his face heating up.

“ No one other than you can see that…”

Izuku laughed. Amused by Shotos expression, his words.

“Great! I didn't intend to show it anyway.”

Shoto didn't know what exactly he meant, but he wouldn't bother. He didn't mind if it's Izuku, after all. 

“Let's do the simple one again, and then send that one.”

“Sounds good.”

Izuku lifts the phone once more, and they position themselves as previously intended. He takes the picture. It was a nice, simple photo. Izuku smiled, like before, holding up their hands, holding on to each other. Shoto looked more like himself, with a small, slightly visible smile, but overall neutral expression.

Shoto preferred the previous one overall, but this one to send out. 

“ Looking good, right?”

“Send it.”

“Alright…what do I write? Went…well… No.. Hm.. I guess it's fine.”

Shoto listens to Izuku mumbling to himself. He looks towards the message. “I think it went well!” Followed by the picture they took. Both of them look at the chat, watching the Status turn to “Online”, and they wait. It took Ochaco quite a while before answering. She would be offline for a few seconds, before returning, then answered. “OMG”. Izuku lets out a laugh. 

“WHAT” “DEKU”, were quick to follow, as they watched the chat turn into chaos.

“You think she's surprised?”

Izuku asked sarcastically. 

“Not sure, seems calm to me.”

Izuku continues to laugh. 

“ I should probably answer.”

Shoto watches Izuku chat with Ochaco. “What's up” … “WHAT'S UP??” “What happened!?” “DEKU.” 

“I'm sorry, this is so funny..”

Izuku seemed to be enjoying himself. And Shoto enjoyed watching Izuku smile. 

Ochaco stopped texting, and instead, they hear someone knocking on the door.

“Wait? Did she-?”

Izuku looks his way, visibly asking for confirmation to open the door. Shoto nods, and Izuku gets up. He opens the door, and it was in fact Ochaco, now rushing in, closing the door behind her.

“Uraraka? Are you ok?”

Izuku asked her, as she slowly turns around. Izuku seemed just as confused as he was amused. A truly wonderful sight. 

“YOU.”

“What?”

“Hi Todoroki! I cannot BELIEVE you.”

Ochaco gives him a small greeting, before getting back at Izuku. Shoto liked how casual she was.

“I was in the living room! And when you send that, I literally screamed! Oh my god… I'm so embarrassed…”

“What?! Did someone see??”

“No, no! I turned it off! I said…something about a discount… I panicked..But no one noticed! I think..”

Izuku looked at her in disbelieve. 

“What?? YOU send it! Dont blame me!”

Izuku smiles, and hides his face in his hands for a few seconds.

“You're right, sorry… Good thing we didn't send the other one…you actually would've gotten a heart attack.”

“The other one?? What other one??”

“Dont worry about it.”

“Actually, yea, I won't.”

Shoto watches this conversation unfold. Ochaco turns his way. Then smiles softly.

“But im glad things turned out ok at last. Congrats btw!”

She returned to face Izuku.

“Thanks…but uhm. Dont tell anyone.”

“I won't, promise.”

“Actually, you can tell Ida. But thats it.”

“Oh, ok! I'll let him in on our little secret!”

She said with a big smile. She takes another look towards Shoto, then back to Izuku.

“Alright. Well, I just wanted to confirm. I'll leave you guys alone again~”

Ochaco turns around, now facing the door. 

“Wait, you're going back already?”

“Oh, I wouldn't want to disturb you! You guys have fun, bye~”

Ochaco opens the door, and leaves just like that. Shoto didn't want to admit it, but he was glad Ochaco saw through him. He did want to stay alone with Izuku. 

“ I suddenly feel really tired..”

Shoto watches Izuku look up at the time. 11:25pm 

" It's pretty late..”

Izuku seemed troubled. Same as Shoto, who now feared he had to leave soon. 

Couldn't he just stay here? He wanted to ask, but didn't want to push his limits.

Izuku turns his way, then away, towards the floor. He seems to be thinking about something. Izuku returns to his previous spot next to Shoto. 

“ Should I leave?”

Shoto asked, despite being against the idea. Izuku would let out a small grumble. 

“Cant you just stay here..?”

Izuku said, quietly. But loud enough for him to hear. Shoto loved this idea.

“Can I?”

They look at each other, but neither would know for sure. As far as he was aware, there was no rule keeping him from staying. 

“You could...”

“I'm staying.”

Izuku lights up.

“Great! Then, wanne go to sleep?”

Shoto nods. He did feel his eyes growing tired. Today has been a lot. Izuku gets up, and cleans up the bed, placing the laptop on his desk, and placing the bags of snacks on top.

The two of them walk towards the bathroom to get ready, and quickly return to Izukus room. Carefully, as they feared anyone seeing them. 

Izuku places the pillows near the main pillow at the top of the bed, and spreads out one of the blankets. 

“ Which side do you want?”

“I'm not picky.”

“Ok! I'll take the right then.”

Izuku jumps on his bed, and sits down. Shoto joins him, on the left. They get comfy within the two blankets, and position their pillows. Izuku, now laying down on his side, looks up to Shoto, still sitting up.

“ Can you turn off the light?” 

“Sure.”

Shoto reaches towards the cable, and presses down on the little switch. The room was now completely covered in black. Shoto could barely make out Izuku's Shadow laying beside him. He lays down as well, facing Izuku. His body would press down on the soft mattress, and his head immersed in the pillows. He suddenly felt even more exhausted than before, ready to fall asleep any second. But, a thought has entered his mind.

“midoriya?”

He whispered.

“hm?”

“can i come closer?”

…

“of course.”

Shoto shifted closer to him. He would let his mind control him once more, as he buries his head in Izukus chest, and wrapping his arm around him. He felt an arm embracing him as well, and his heartbeat rising. But he was tired enough to ignore it. Besides, he wasn't scared. He was happy. Like a puppy waving his tail in excitement.

He felt the arm on his back move up, and a hand touching his head. The hand gently patting his hair. Shoto´s heartbeat continued to rise, but he wouldn't let it ruin this moment. He presses his head deeper into Izukus chest, and slowly but surely, falls asleep. 

Chapter Text

The next morning came quicker than usual. Shoto awakens to what seems to be a white wall in front of him. He felt exhausted, yet relaxed. He couldn't sleep at all last night, but didn't feel troubled by it. A small burden in favor of a big reward. After realizing himself, his situation, he quickly noticed the “white wall” to be Izuku, him, and his white t-shirt. 

He remembered how they fell asleep last night. He was still buried in Izukus chest, now simply laying there, awake. Shoto wondered whether to move, whether Izuku was still asleep, or not, what time it was. He decides to slightly push himself away, to get a look at Izukus face. But as he did, he noticed Izuku had been awake already, as he moved almost simultaneously to his own movement. He looks up, and gets greeted by a bright, warm expression. Izuku smiled.

“Good morning.”

Shoto took a few seconds to digest the view, before finally answering. 

“ Morning.”

He watches Izuku move, slightly down, then stop right in front of him. One of his arms right below his pillow, and the other laying in front of him. Shoto has slept close to Izuku before, seen him in the morning, during class trips. But this would feel different, very different.

“How long have you been awake for?”

Shoto said, with a quiet, gentle voice. 

“Not that long…”

Izuku looks down. Obviously lying. Shoto stares at him in disbelieve.

“A few hours…”

“Hours??”

Shoto asked, audibly, and visibly surprised. Now, he would take a fast look at the time. 12pm. 

What?? I rarely sleep in this much..

Shoto looks back at Izuku, somehow expecting him to say the clock was somehow broken. 

It wasn't. 

“Why didn't you wake me up?”

“I couldn't! You seemed so peaceful…”

“When did you wake up?”

“hm.. I think, around 10?”

“10am?!”

Izuku nods. Shoto sighs. 

“Its fine though! I dont mind at all. It was nice relaxing for a bit.”

Izuku's smile would convince Shoto on the truth of his words. This one wasn't his “im lying” smile, after all. 

“If you say so..”

They share a few more seconds, lying there, in silence. Izuku would be the first to sit up, Shoto quickly follows, pulling his legs in to cross each other.

I zuku is already on his feet, stretching, throwing his arms up in the air. Shoto noticed a bit of skin being revealed, as the T-shirt pulled up.

Izuku walks over to the curtains, and opens them, half way, letting enough sun in, without over overstimulating them with the sudden brightness. The room was now filled in a soft, blue-isch yellow. He watches Izuku closely, as he continued to open the window, finally returning to sit on the edge of the bed. 

“Midoriya.”

Shoto started. Izuku turns to face him.

“ hm?”

"Did you sleep well?”

Izuku takes in the question, and thinks for a second.

“Well, on the one hand, yes, but on the other, not really…”

“I see, you too, then.”

“You too?”

“I couldn't sleep at all last night. I was kept awake by-”

Shoto cut himself off, he didn't know why, though. There was no harm in telling the truth. He would have to work on his habits. Izuku looks at him questioningly.

“uhm… my heartbeat.”

He could feel his face getting warmer. Somehow, his confidence from last night has vanished completely. Izuku let out a nervous laugh. 

“I guess it's something to get used to, huh? Good to know.”

Shoto manages to relax a bit. Izuku simply has this encouraging aura around him. A single smile could heal all of his wounds in a second. A single smile could lift him out of any darkness. He felt comfortable. 

“Ah!”

Izuku suddenly screamed out. Then quickly  covers his mouth with his right hand.

“Sorry!”

He quickly whispered.

“I just realized, I got a message from Uraraka an hour ago…”

He watches Izuku reach towards his phone, unlocking it, then handing it to Shoto. 

He would read their messages. 

“Deku? U awake?” “Is Todoroki still with you?” … “Hi, im awake, why do you ask?” … “Some of us wondered why Todoroki was still in his room, so they went to check on him, but he didn't open the door” … “Oh” … “Wdym “oh”? Is he with you?” … “Yea” … “Oh, ok I see.” Good thing is, we dont have to worry about him being sick or something…bad thing is, he is still with you” … “I'm sure we can figure something out, he can just say he didn't hear it?” … “He could, but they're standing in the hallway, they'd see him for sure if he went out now!” … “Tell them to leave” … “How?” … “Say he texted you” … “U sure they wouldn't ask for proof?” … “I hope not, what else can we do?” … “Ok, ill try. Brb” 

They were looking for me? Seriously? All because I slept in? I guess you could say they care about me…

The conversation continued. 

“Ok, I told them. But im not sure how long this will hold…” … “Why do you say that?” … “Now, they're saying it's weird for him to miss breakfast or, show me or, what if he's lying…they're getting worried.” … “Sorry to bother you with this…can you keep on trying to calm them down?” … “Of course, np. Just tell him to go now, they're not watching the hallway anymore.” … “Right, about that…” … “What?” … “He's still asleep” … “Then wake him up!” … “I cant!” … “You cant be serious” … “He looks so peaceful :( “ … “You can be in love later, we have a problem to solve!” … “Uraraka…” … “Deku.” … “I'm sorry” … “Omg” “Fine, I forgive you. I'll try to calm them down.You better come up with a good excuse!” … “Will do boss o7” 

That would be the end of the conversation. Ended at roughly 11:30am. Shoto looks up to face Izuku. 

“ Can I text back?”

“Of course, go ahead.”

Shoto quickly types out a message. “Is the hallway free?”, and sends it out to Ochaco. She was quick to answer. “Wait, ill look.” “It's just me here. Is he awake?” … “I'm awake now. Sorry for troubling you” … 

It would take a few seconds for Ochaco to realize who she was talking to. 

“Oh, is that you Todoroki? Good morning!” … “Good morning. Ill return to my room now.” …“ 👍”. Shoto returns Izuku's phone, and gets up to walk towards the door.

“You're going?”

Izuku stopped him. Now also standing. Shoto turns to face him.

“I've troubled the both of you enough, ill make sure no one presses us on the issue.”

“It's not your fault though, if I had just woken you up-”

Shoto stops Izuku with a strong stare, and a slight head tilt downwards. Izuku hold his words. 

“Let's just say it's no one's fault. Sound good?”

“Right. Sounds good. Sorry for holding you back. You're good to go.”

Shoto nods, then walks towards the door, placing his hand on the handle. Before pressing it down, though, he would stop. A thought has entered his mind. He looks back at Izuku, wondering whether to go through with it. He would only have half of a second to decide. 

“I'll see you later.”

“Cya.”

Izuku sees him off with a smile. Shoto opens the door, and peeks outside. From afar, he watches Ochaco standing in the hallway, facing the living room, perhaps talking to the people there. He quickly slides through the door, closing it behind him. He carefully walks back to his room, opening the door, announcing his presence to Ochaco with a quiet knock on the wall. Ochaco turns around, and gives him a final thumbs up before he'd disappear through the door, into his room. Shoto regrets not doing what he had thought of.

I really wanted to give him a hug. Why didn't I? I guess the situation stressed me out a bit. Next time..

Shoto takes in the silence of the room. He had been together with Izuku for so long, it felt weird returning here alone. The silence it held. The lonely silence. He wouldn't stay here for long.

He quickly walks towards his closet, and takes out a simple white t-shirt, light, kings blue pants, and a white, hip length cardigan. After changing, he walks out, right towards the bathroom. He knew, he should be going to the living room first, but he would prioritize getting fully ready first.

He enters the bathroom. He had thought it to be empty, but he would find someone standing in front of one of the sinks, toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. Izuku greets him again, with a small hand gesture, before leaning down to spit out some toothpaste. He had changed into a baby blue t-shirt, with “T-shirt” printed on the front, and some dark gray shorts. He loved this outfit, for no reason in particular.

Shoto, despite usually sticking to the right of the room, walks towards Izuku, standing at second sink of the row, on the left side. Shoto takes the first of the row, right next to Izuku. 

He gets a first look at his face. Hair, messy. Eyes, tired. He splashes his face, and shakes his head as usual, then grabs his toothbrush to join Izuku. Izuku would finish earlier than him, but waited until the both of them finished. 

Suddenly, Shoto got reminded of his missed opportunity. Should he ask now? He decides not to do so.

“Did you manage to calm them down?”

Izuku asked.

“I went straight to the bathroom.”

“Oh, I see.”

  Shoto washes out the toothpaste from his brush, then puts it away. He turns to face Izuku.

“We can stick together now, right?”

Izuku asked, carefully. Shoto wouldn't know why they couldn't, and answers with a confused stare at first.

“Nothing weird about us coming out of the bathroom together. We could've simply met here at random, which isn't even a lie.”

“Right! Of course. Sorry, im psyching myself out..”

“No worries.”

Shoto leads the way, towards the door. He opens it, and holds it open to let Izuku through. Then, straight to the living room. 

Shoto has already thought of many excuses. It felt as though he has done this for years, lying. As if he was a pro, yet total beginner at finding excuses. He could lie flawlessly, but only when he actually wanted to. This would be one of those times. He steps into the living room, and the eyes were quick to pick it up. 

“There you are!”

“ Dude, its 1pm!”

Various people would shout at him, most obviously Mina and Denki, though.

“I slept in.”

“Did you?? More like you fell into a coma! Didn't you hear our knocking? Or the calls?”

Mina ran towards him, bombarding him with questions.

“No I did. And I ignored them. Sorry about that.”

“Damn. We were actually worried about you..you know…”

“Again. Sorry. I was really tired.”

“Perhaps we shouldn't have overreacted here…”

Ochaco came for the rescue once again, jumping into the conversation. 

“But-! Hm… I guess…but… I mean, it's Todoroki! I never saw him sleep in like this!”

“It is really not that big of a deal…you know, I woke up at 5am last weekend.”

Ochaco continued to take over the conversation.

“No you didn't.”

“I did.”

“Why.”

“Nightmare.”

“It's still weird, though!”

“Maybe! But people are allowed to be weird every once in a while!”

“Well-! Huh. Good point, actually.”

“See.”

Mina lets out a disappointed sight. Then turns to face Shoto.

“Fine, you're right. You're fine, thats all that matters. But…”

Mina now holds a more serious expression on her face, to Shotos surprise.

“ Dont just ignore us again, k? Just let us know ur all right at least.”

Shoto was taken aback at the serious tone, but quickly adjusts.

"Won't happen again.” 

“Great! Oh I totally forgot, Good morning! Or …good noon? Doesn't matter… You too Midoriya, just noticed you there!”

After greeting everyone, Mina left, Denki followed. Shoto faces Ochaco, standing next to him.

“Thanks.”

“ No problem! I'm basically a pro at manipulating the flow of a conversation, aren't I? Another talent to add to the list!”

“You have a list?”

Izuku asked, curiously.

“No. But I do now!”

Izuku throws a sarcastic stare towards her. 

“ Now, you two go eat. Just heat up what we've put o the counter!”

“Oh, right. I totally forgot.”

Izuku said, now holding his stomach. After everything that happened yesterday, and this morning, eating seemed to have been their least concern. But they would now get to enjoy their breakfast, simple eggs and toast, together at the table, and relax. Ochaco had waved them off, and seated herself on the couch, next to Momo, Kyoka and Mina. 

The living room seemed quite empty today. Besides those four sitting on the couch, he'd see Hanta and Denki sitting in the far end of the dining table, laughing at something Denki showed on his phone. Izuku had made the same discovery. 

“It's quite empty here, huh?”

Izuku started. They are sitting by the table, plates in front of them, facing the couch. 

“It is.”

Shoto takes another look around the room. Meanwhile, Izuku is nibbling on his toast.

“Is something happening today?”

Shoto looks towards Izuku, and with the toast in his mouth, he slowly shakes his head. 

“All I know is, that Ojiro and Hagakure had some plans today, but I dont know about the rest..”

Izuku had quickly swallowed what he had been chewing on, and distanced the toast from his face. 

“We can ask, Uraraka might know something.”

“Mh.”

Izuku agrees, chewing on his toast once again. The two of them finish their breakfast, and return their plates to the kitchen. Izuku quickly walks ahead, and greets Kyoka, and Momo, who they haven't properly seen today. Shoto follows.

“Hey! Do you know where the rest is?”

Izuku asked the group. 

“Most of them went out, and, I guess, some returned to their rooms.”

Ochaco answered.

“Yes, everyone seems to be quite busy today, we talked about it before.”

“And it might be too late to make any new plans...except things to do here, I guess.”

Momo and Kyoka said, seemingly troubled.

“Not to worry, though! Nothing wrong with sitting and talking, right? It's nice and relaxing!”

Ochaco replied in an attempt to cheer them up. 

“Of course, I have absolutely nothing against a nice conversation!”

“If only we had something to talk about…”

Kyoka whispered at Momo´s positivity. Momo´s face quickly turned into a disappointed look again. Shoto turns to look at Izuku, in an attempt to ask for further instructions. Izuku looks his way, but doesn't hold eye contact for long, as he averts his eyes to look at the people on the couch, still discussing their next move. Izuku eyes switch from him, to the couch, back to him. Shoto couldn't read his intentions, and decided to simply stand next to him for a while. 

“Honestly, I dont even feel like going out…”

“Is there seriously nothing to do?”

Kyoka and Ochaco sight out.

“Sorry if I remember wrong, but weren't you quite busy with your song lately? How about continuing that?”

“Hey!”

Momo quickly lifts her hand to her mouth, covering it in shock. 

“I'm sorry, was that a secret?”

“...no, I mean- Its fine…”

“You're writing a song?!”

Ochaco quickly jumps in.

“Well, yes, but it was just a small idea… DONT tell anyone!”

“Oh trust me I am very good at keeping secrets.”

Kyok´s eyes shoot over towards Izuku and Shoto, still standing by the side of the couch. Shoto sees Izuku making a hand gesture, as if zipping his mouth close. It seemed to have worked, as Kyoka returned her eyes towards the girls again. 

“I guess I could work on that, but… I dont want to leave you alone.”

Momo is still holding her hand up to her mouth, seemingly wanting to say something, but holding herself back. 

“Dont worry about us! You go ahead, it's probably more fun than sitting here doing nothing.”

Ochaco said cheerfully. Momo finally breaks.

“Hey, Jiro? I was wanting to ask for a while, but, would you mind …showing me ?”

Momo seemed flustered, only whispering the last words.

“Huh? Oh…uhm, it's not finished, and still at the beginning phase…”

“Thats ok!”

“Oh, uhm..”

“You dont have to, of course! I just wanted to see your process, I like the music you make!”

Kyoka plays with her earphones in embarrassment. Ochaco throws a look towards Izuku and Shoto, then returns to the girls. 

“ You should show her!”

“What? Oh, I guess…But what about yo-”

“C´mon, I told you not to worry! You go, hush hush!”

Ochaco pushes them to go with the idea, and the girls share a few moments of eye contact, before agreeing to leave. Momo and Kyoka get up, and say their goodbyes. Kyoka still seems awkward, but ultimately happy. Now, it was just the three of them by the couch. 

Izuku looks towards Shoto once more. Shoto was enlightenment by Momo´s  braveness, and takes initiative. He holds eye contact, and moves his eyes away towards the hallway, then back at Izuku. Izuku seemed to have understood the sign, but looks back to Ochaco with a worried expression. Ochaco, on the other hand, held a strong squint on them, and breaks into a defeated sigh. 

“Man, im third wheeling hard today… First those two, now you guys… It's ok…you go ahead…have fun…”

Ochaco set a sarcastic tone behind her words, but couldn't hide the little loneliness leaking through. 

“Huh? Those two-? Wait, no, we're not gonna leave you all by yourself!”

“Oh, it's fine. Seriously, ill get around. Besides…”

Ochaco gets up, and walks towards Izuku.

“I think someone really wants your company..”

Ochaco whispered in his ear, yet loud enough for Shoto to hear. Izuku was taken aback by her words, but ultimately lets it go. She backs off with a cheeky smile, and quickly runs over to the dining table, where Denki and Hanta were seated. Shoto, once again, couldn't help but thank Ochaco for her incredible insight skills. 

“My room?”

Izuku asked, still exhausted by Ochacos teasing. Shoto nods. The both of them take off towards the hallway, straight to Izuku's place.

"Do you think she meant anything when she said “first those two” ?”

Izuku asked.

“What could she have meant?”

“You know…if she's putting us against them, maybe they're also…?”

Shoto was surprised at the thought of it first, but gradually realized a certain truth to it. 

“ I thought Jiro was embarrassed because of the song.”

“Maybe both. Did you see Yayorozu?”

“I did.”

They share a few seconds of eye contact, as they arrive at the door. 

“Well, I guess it doesn't matter…maybe im overthinking it.”

Izuku opens the door, and invites Shoto inside, then closes it behind him.

“Neither of us are writing any songs, so…what do we do now?”

Shotos minds was filled with various ideas. But he would keep them to himself, for now.

Izuku lets himself fall onto his bed, Shoto takes seat on the edge. Silence fills the room. Shoto looks around for anything that could function as a distraction. His eyes focus on some of Izuku's All Might figures, standing on some shelves. Suddenly, a memory pops up in his head. He quickly looks back towards Izuku, which seemed to have alerted him.

“Did..something happen?”

Shoto remembered a certain thing, something he had been wanting to do for a few days, but never got the chance to. He had wondered whether to wait it, but decided it'd be a waste of time. 

“I'll be right back.”

“Oh.. Sure.”

Shoto gets up, and quickly walks out of the room. He had only afterward realized the confusion he had planted in Izuku, but decided it's nothing to worry about. 

He jogs towards his room, and enters, walking straight towards his desk. He had been reminded of a specific Item, one he had been given recently. He reaches out his arm, and picks up the small keychain lying in the corner of his desk. He takes another look at it. It was a limited edition All Might keychain, a sample, which never ended up on the market. Shoto feels excitement bubbling up inside him. Excitement to see Izuku's reaction, his smile. He hides the keychain in his pockets, and takes off. He had left the door open, he slowly peeks inside, and enters. 

“That was quick, welcome back.”

Izuku smiled at his return. Shoto could barely keep himself together.

“What did you do?”

Shoto closes the door behind him, and takes seat on the bed once more, but this time, facing Izuku directly. 

“I remembered something.”

Izuku looks at him with a hint of surprise, then smiles, and tilts his head.

“Remember what Aizawa gave the winners of the tournament last week?”

“Oh, right! I completely missed that part, what was the prize?”

Shoto takes a moment, surprised at his words. 

“You…dont know?”

“No… I was kind of busy with…other things.”

Izuku looks away sarcastically. Shoto couldn't hold his smile any longer, and lets it go.

“ Well, in that case…”

He reaches for his pockets, and takes out the Keychain, dangling it in front of Izuku. 

“WHAT. You got an All Might keychain?!” 

“Apparently, it's a sample that never released.”

“ Omg, I cant believe I missed that! Wait, does that mean there's only a couple of them?!”

“Not sure how many exactly, but im guessing very few.”

“Ohhh it glitters! And the colors are weird!”

Izuku's face lit up like a Christmas tree. The biggest smile he has seen on him in a while. A smile so contagious, even Shoto couldn't resist. The smile on his own face widens. 

Shoto moves the keychain closer to Izuku, initiating him to take it. Izuku inspects the keychain closely, lifting it up, turning it around. 

“Did Kaminari call THIS trash?? I vaguely remember him saying that…which is also why I didn't bother asking…”

“Kaminari doesn't know what he's talking about.”

“Right??”

Izuku laughs to himself, then looks up to Shoto. 

“Here.”

He holds the keychain towards him. Shoto shakes his head.

“It's yours.”

“What? But you won! I cant just-”

“Whether I won or not is a whole other question…but, I want you to have it.”

Izuku couldn't handle his emotions. He looked confused, as much as he felt guilty. 

“Are you sure? I dont need it, and, you said you still admire him, right?”

Shoto was taken aback, but catches himself quickly. 

“I do.”

He smiles.

“But I like you more. Seeing you happy is all I could ever wish for.”

Izukumind.exe stopped working. Unable to process the words coming out of Shotos mouth. His face turns red. Now, Shoto would see it more clearly, as the sun behind them brightens the room. 

Izuku struggles to form any type of sentence, and lowers his heat to face the ground.

“I'm sorry. I still dont know how to handle that...”

Shotos smile grows even bigger. He wondered what he looked like right now. There were no mirrors, or a phone close to him. But he wouldn't bother to check, he wouldn't care about his face right now. He didn't need to worry, because he knew there is nothing to be afraid of. He knew this room was safe, he trusted him. 

Izuku slowly raises his head, and looks up to meet his eyes. He couldn't hold it for long, though.

“Thank you.”

He said. The confusion and guilt have completely disappeared from his face, and was now filled with happiness, love, and a hint of embarrassment. 

Izuku jumps up, and walks over to his backpack. Shoto watches him attach the keychain to the Zipper, and showing it off proudly. 

“Looks good.”

Shoto replied, fixing his position to face Izuku.

“Right?”

Izuku takes a few more seconds to look at his new accessory, before returning to the bed. He sits down next to Shoto, much closer than he did before, and leans his head towards him. Shoto does the same. 

As they sit there, close together, Shoto thinks back to everything that had lead him here. He never believed for things to end up this way. He never believed his story to have a happy ending. He couldn't believe he was here at this moment, by Izukus side, able to do what he had always wanted to. Warmth filled his whole body. 

Right now, he felt the happiest he has ever been. 

Chapter Text

The day went by quick, at one point, the two of them started various conversation topics, reaching from Feelings, to quirks, to All Might, and some good old memories. They talked about whatever came up in their minds, and the hours went by. Meanwhile, the two of them had switched their positions, now properly sitting on the bed, cross-legged, close to the wall, and facing the other. Their conversation continues.

“ But, did you never even think about it?”

“Not really.”

“All he needs to do is sneeze ONCE. We'd be dead!”

“I'm sure Kaminari can control his quirk by now.”

“Yea, but was that the case last year during our trip? I even stepped out of the onsen every once in a while cause I was genuinely concerned..”

“We could’ve handled a little electricity.”

“Actually, im not that confident…”

Shoto thoroughly enjoyed these conversations, those that didn't have any weight on them. Conversations that could jump from one topic to another, or stay on a single theme for hours. The ones they forget about the next day, and it wouldn't matter.

Shoto looks at the time, 5pm. 

“Woah, only one hour until dinner…time went by so quick today.”

Izuku said, with a disappointed expression. Shoto, as well, couldn't hide his own. He averts his eyes. He had been wanting to do more, he had been thinking about various things to do, but he couldn't find the right time. He wouldn't even know how to convey his ideas. Shoto didn't actually know how relationships worked, after all.

He looks back up at Izuku, who had also lowered his head, playing with the corner of the blanket. He still seemed somewhat depressed. Shoto couldn't help but stare at him, as this was currently the only way of communicating his needs. Izuku picks up after a while. This should've been the moment to speak, but instead, Shoto averts his eyes once again, and returns them just as quick. 

Izuku picks up.

“What's up?”

Shoto was torn. 

“Nothing.”

“... Come on..even I can tell thats a lie.”

His hands have started to move towards each other, fidgeting. He wouldn't notice. Izuku leans to the side, head against the wall.

“Tell me.”

Izuku insisted. Shoto tries to form a sentence fit for what he'd be wanting to say, but couldn't find the words. He shifts over, closer, and leans his head against the wall, copying Izuku.

Their eyes meet. 

“ I want to hold you.”

Shoto whispered. He had tried to hold the eye contact, but ultimately failed, as he realized his words. His face felt warmer, and warmer by the second. He looks back up, as curiosity overcame him. Izuku's expression could tell him whether this was a good, or bad decision. 

It was only slightly visible, Izuku's eyes widened, and his cheeks turned red. He seemed overwhelmed, unable to react. Shoto´s eyes return to the blanket under him.

“ Can I?”

He asked, carefully. After one last look up, he watches Izuku nod. Shoto had already planned out his next move, he had done so quite a while ago, somewhere during their conversation. He knew what he wanted, but wasn't sure if it would work out the way he intended, or how to get Izuku where he wanted him to be. Shoto had to improvise. He moves his head, now sitting straight, and reaches his arm forward to grab Izukus, slightly pulling it his way.

“Come here.”

Shoto turns his body to face his back against the wall, and continues to carefully pull on his arm, aiming to move Izuku in front of him. Izuku doesn't resist. He follows the direction his arm gets pulled towards, and slowly crawls in front of Shoto. They hold to look at each other. Izuku still seems overwhelmed by the situation, simply doing as he was told, now completely shutting off, as he was left alone with his movement. His expression could only be described as a call for help. Shoto picks up.

“Turn around.”

Despite the new instruction, Izuku still seemed confused and hesitant. He follows what he had been told, slowly inching forward, and turning around. Shoto assisted, letting go of his arm, and grabbing the other, pulling it towards him. Izuku falls back, hitting Shotos chest, but much lower than anticipated. He quickly adjusts his position, moving himself up, meanwhile, Shoto quickly slips his arms around Izuku, fixing them in their position. 

Mission complete. 

No one said a word. But that wasn't necessary.  Shoto´s arms tightened, pulling Izuku closer to him, ever so slightly, each time a bit more, until he had fully embraced him. He felt his heart reaching dangerous levels again, and the rest of his body heating up. Each second, he noticed his breathing to be more difficult, trying to keep it calm. He slightly lowers his head, and lets it rest on Izukus shoulder. 

Time seemed to have stopped, seconds turned into minutes, minutes into hours. All he could hear was his heart beating, again, and again. His breathing, his own, and Izukus. He could feel Izukus stomach moving out, then back in, repeating, as he takes each breath. He would notice each and every movement, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant. All he could think about right now, was this. As if the world around them has disappeared. 

Just the two of them, right here, right now. 

Shoto, every once in a while, lifts his head to look at the time. 5:15, 5:24, 5:30. 

Time went by, and with every passing minute, he had hoped for it to stop. 

It was silent. They, the room, the wind outside, everything seemed to have shut down. But that wasn't a bad thing, Shoto thought. He liked the silence, it wasn't tense, it wasn't uncomfortable. It was just them. 5:36. Shoto closed his eyes. And time continued. 

5:40. 5:48. 5:55. 6:03pm. A phone starts ringing. No one moves, no one speaks. After a few seconds, silence. Another sounds, then silence. By the fourth time, something changed. 

Shoto hears a sigh. 

“We should answer.”

Izuku spoke up, his voice was quiet, almost muffled, and sad. Shoto, despite wanting to, relaxes his arms, and opens them, freeing Izuku from his position. It would take a few seconds for Izuku to reach for his phone. After distancing himself to grab it, he returns, phone in hand, and leans back. Shoto fights his instincts to embrace him once more, and places only one arm around, the other next to himself.

“Yep, its Mina. Dinner's ready.”

Shoto gets a glance at the group chat, “Dinner time!” send at 5:55pm. “What's on the menu today?”...” Get out of your room and look for yourself!”...” Rude…” The conversation ended at 6pm. “Midoriya, Todoroki, where are you?” the last message, send at 6:10pm. 

“Oh, we gotta go.”

Izuku quickly moves forward, and hops off the bed. Phone, still in hand, he types something. Shoto follows, hopping off the bed, walking beside Izuku. He would get a glance at the message. “Omw!” 

“I knew we were late, but somehow, I didn't realize…”

Izuku hides his phone in one of his pockets, and moves towards the door. Shoto follows. But right at the door handle, Izuku stops.

“Wait!”

Shoto stops, looking at Izuku with surprise. Izuku had held out his hand, flat upwards, like a police officer. He opens the door, and peeks his head through, looking left, then right, then left again. His hand moves, now waving his direction. 

Shoto had just now realized what Izuku was doing. 

Izuku exits the room, moving behind the door to hold it open. Shoto carefully peaks around the corner, and leaves the room as well. He turns to see Izuku closing the door, smiling at him once finished. Then, he walks past Shoto, leading the way towards the living room, Shoto follows. 

“We may need another excuse…”

Izuku whispers, as they close in.

“And I cant say I ignored them again…”

Shoto returned, upset. Izuku giggles.

“We'll figure it out.”

The voices get louder, they would hear various people, Mina, Denki, Katsuki… They step into the living room. The table was filled, with only two open seats next to Tenya. It wouldn't take long for them to be noticed.

“Look who it is! We've already started without you!”

Mina said, as they approach, seemingly annoyed. She always gets mad at people late to dinner. From day one, she would make sure everyone ate together, and no one gets left out, which is also why she has taken over the role of announcer. No one really knows why, but everyone appreciates how much she cares for it. 

“Sorry! Won't happen again!”

“You always say that… Whatever… It's fine, now get in here!”

And so they did, Izuku sits down next to Tenya, and Shoto right next to Izuku. Various people would ask about their late appearance, but they would simply reply with “I missed it” or “My phone was on mute.” Lucky for them, no one pressured them further, but even if, Shoto knew Ochaco would come to their rescue. Shoto felt a sense of safety in her, unusually for him. He started to trust her, much more than expected. 

Dinner goes on as usual, nice, comfy vibes, loud voices, and jokes all over the room. They finish, return their dishes, and continue their night on the couch, in their rooms, or wherever they would want. 

Shoto throws a few looks at Izuku, standing within the little group of himself, Izuku, Tenya and Ochaco. They're still standing, somewhere behind the couch, talking about their next moves. Izuku wouldn't notice.

“So, what now?”

Ochaco asked, curiously.

“I have no plans today. I'm free to do anything until bedtime.”

Tenya replies.

“Great! Then… Let's just go to Tsuyu and the others! I feel like relaxing a bit.”

“I'll be right behind. What about you two?”

Tenya looks towards Izuku and Shoto. But instead of an answer, they look at each other in confusion, each asking the other to make the choice. It takes a few seconds for someone to speak up. 

“Uhm, yea! Sure…”

Izuku said, very unsure of himself. Shoto, on the other hand, was very sure of his motive, but wouldn't speak up. Even he sometimes craves to spend some quality time with his classmates, his friends, as he always simply wanted to be included. He cares about them a lot, and tries hard to make his feelings shine through, even if it's very subtle. He had wanted to spend more time with Izuku, but decided to join the group for tonight. He would have the rest of time with Izuku, so it's ok to go with something else once in a while, he thought. 

“I'm in.”

Izuku looks his way, somewhat glad, somewhat disappointed. He wouldn't think about it for too long.

“Great! Ok gang, let's get moving!”

Ochaco leads the way, followed by Tenya, Izuku, and Shoto. They meet Tsuyu on the couch, accompanied by Toru and Fumikage. Ochaco immediately jumps towards Tsuyu, the rest scatter along the couch. And they spend the rest of the night together, talking  and relaxing. 

9:54pm. Shoto has already left the group, and prepared for bed. He would sit by his desk for a few more minutes, watching the messages in the group chat pop in, one after the other. Someone just realized they have forgotten to do their homework, due to tomorrow. 

Shoto turns off his phone, then the lights, and lays down. This wasn't his problem. He wouldn't sleep, though. At least not yet.

He had left the group rather early, and without saying good night to Izuku. He did say it, but not him directly. He sits up once more, and reaches for his phone. One quick message would do the trick. He wouldn't know if Izuku had already returned to his room, he would rather visit personally, but this was fine, he thought. This is enough. He stares at Izukus chat for a while, and slowly types “Good night.”

It's bland... But what could I add? Ashido uses a lot of emojis… Its unusual though. Besides, which one? A smile maybe? I'm overthinking this…

Shoto tried his best to make his message seem kinder, but fails to find something he could go with. “Good night :)” “Good night!” “N8”. Shoto was torn. He had already spent way too much time on this. Until one final Idea broke the cycle.

“Good night. ♡ ” 

Shoto stares at his message, debating whether to send it. It wasn't too much, it was perfect. Simple, yet hard hitting, considering Shotos previous chat history. He knew, if he didn't send it now, he could forget getting any sleep tonight. Without thinking, he presses down his finger, and sends it out. He would stare at his message, Izukus status. Nothing. He turns off his phone, and returns to sleep. Better not think about it, he thought. It didn't take long for the notification bell to go off. He picks up his phone again, hoping to see a message from Izuku.

“Good night! Cya tmr  :) <3”

Shoto takes a breath. A smile escapes his lips. There was no reason to be scared, he knew, but he was glad to see the proof in front of him. He turns off his phone, and returns to sleep. This time, his mind was quiet, calm. A soft breeze after a Storm.  

3am. Shoto wakes up. It was a quiet night, a calm night, a lonely night. His mind was calm, but his body felt cold. They just started into September, nights would only get colder from here on, but something about his dropping body temperature would still bother him. It felt familiar, awfully so. A feeling he couldn't fix with his quirk. He had tried already, but the feeling wouldn't go away.

He knew the reason. He would think about last night, the night he had spent next to Izuku. The warmth he felt. The more he thought about it, the colder he got, and the more he yearned, the longer he would imagine himself back in Izukus room, snuggled up next to him. 

He turns his futon into an oven, as he raised his body temperature, until this drowning cold disappeared. It never did, but he eventually dozed off again. 

He has gone through much worse, after all.

The next morning came quick. The horrible ringing from his phone has ripped him out of his sleep. Once again, the awful sound would remind him of his failures, of forgetting to change the notification sound. He sits up, cutting off the alarm as he did. Finally, he would hear the birds sing again, and the sweet, orange sunlight greets him. Shoto wastes no time, and quickly gets up to get ready.

Today, he would be first.

He walks in front of his sink, and gets a first look at himself. Messy hair, tired eyes, some sleep crust, as usual. After brushing his teeth, a quick splash of water, and a head shake, he was ready to face the day. 

Surprisingly enough, Tenya hasn't arrived yet. He wouldn't pay it much mind. He walks out the door, into the hallway, in which he would meet Tenya. 

“Oh, Good morning, Todoroki! I see you're already done! Why the hurry?”

“Morning. I didn't think I was that early, what time is it?”  

“6:06am. Quite early, even for my standards!”

“Oh. I suppose I was quick today.”

“I'm glad to see you thriving! Now, if you'll excuse me. I wouldn't want to be late now. I will see you later!”

“Right.”

Tenya storms off to the bathroom. Shoto returns to his room. He looks at the time, it was certainly 6:07am. He really was fast today, he wondered why, but quickly answered the question for himself.

Shoto, despite the huge time gap he has made for himself, changes into uniform, and prepares his backpack. He takes seat in front of his desk, grabbing his phone, and headphones.

He missed Izuku. He wasn't far away, he wasn't gone, and yet, he couldn't wait to see him again. Of course, his early attire would remind him of the next hour he had to wait out until he could, not making his feeling any less bearable.

Shoto puts his song on, and disappears within his arms. Just like the night before, he would cope by imagining Izuku, spending more time together, saying hello in the morning, working together in class. He loved this song. Truly. It reminded him of his pain, laying seemingly far in the past. It reminded him of Izuku. 

But he would wonder. He was curious. He raises his head, and looks at the song playing. “Alec Benjamin”. The name jumps out to him. He wondered if this person had more songs like this, other songs he could play in the morning hours. He clicks on the last released album. Various songs jumped out to him, he would start at the top, “12 Notes”, “Pick me”, “In a little”, “Sacrifice Tomorrow”, “Lead me to water”. One after the other, he would let the songs play. They felt loving, yet horribly sad. He felt a certain comfort in knowing other people who have suffered because of love. Just like he did. He wasn't alone, it was normal, it was human. The songs felt calm, and he returns his head to lay on the desk, within his arms. Shoto would stay like this, until the time hit 7am. He wouldn't waste any time. He stops the music, and hides his phone in his pocket, the room so felt quiet now.

Shoto enters the living room. It was noisy, as always. He was greeted by the smell of freshly cooked breakfast, and various people sitting by the table, enjoying their food. His eyes would focus on the green haired person, standing next to Rikido in the kitchen. Shoto would be greeted by his classmates, but doesn't pay them much mind.

Soon, the person noticed him, and smiles. Like a puppy, waving his tail in excitement. Shoto watches Izuku walk towards him, plate in hand. He looks so pretty, so bright, so happy. Shoto felt his face trying to copy Izukus expression, but tried his best to stay composed. He could feel his arms raising, in an attempt to embrace Izuku, but he would hold them back, leading them towards the plate instead. 

“Good morning!”

Izuku pushes the plate towards him. He had already reached for it, and takes it, as if it was the most natural thing to do. 

“Good morning.”

“Perfect timing, we're sitting over there!”

“Where’s your plate?”

“Oh, I got it already.”

“You went back, and waited until I came instead of eating?”

Izuku stops, and blinks. 

“Well…yea. I really wanted to keep the routine, it's fun. Something to look forward to in the morning, you know?”

He said, sheepishly. Shoto forgot to watch his face muscles, as he smiles back. 

“Thank you. Actually, im glad you do. Gives me something to look forward too as well.”

Shoto noticed his mistake, as Izuku stares at him, as if he had seen something incredible. He returns his composure, and starts moving towards the table.

“Let's go.”

“Oh! Right! Yea!”

Izuku follows. He noticed Ochaco watching them from afar, he didn't mind her seeing him like this. She was sat next to Tenya, as always. 

“Finally, Your food is getting cold! And good morning to you Todoroki!”

Ochaco greets him. Izuku still seems flustered. They sit down, and enjoy their breakfast.

Meanwhile, Ochaco couldn't help herself, and keeps up the jokes around Izuku. Tenya had asked, as he couldn't understand the jokes Ochaco made. It seemed sad to have Tenya excluded. They would tell him soon, but Shoto would rather have him know now. If only there weren't so many people around. 

7:30am, the class prepares to walk to school. They would continue their mindless conversations throughout the walk, as they do, and have always done. They arrive in class, and separate to sit down in their respective seats. The first two classes were with Aizawa. They would go by as they do. Shoto could focus better in class, now that  his mind isn't actively working against him. But he would still catch himself staring in Izukus direction from time to time. 

He noticed Momo next to him, they haven't talked a lot over the last few weeks, even though they sit right next to each other in class. Today, they would ask each other about the current task, communicate, like they used to. Shoto had worried about his relationship with his classmates, but in the end, everything turned out to be ok. Though, there was still one person he had been wanting to apologize to. 

Time went, by. Classes, breaks, and more classes. At the end, Hero training. 

Today, they would simply work on their techniques, helping each other out, brainstorming new moves and strategies in battle. In the middle of training, Aizawa came around. 

“Todoroki, may I interrupt you for a second?”

Shoto was in the middle of talking to Izuku, about one of the ideas Izuku has pitched to him a while ago.

“Of course.”

“Great. We'll be right back.”

Aizawa steps away towards a more secluded area. Shoto turns to face Izuku.

“Be right back.”

Shoto follows. He wasn't sure why he was taken away, but couldn't imagine having done something wrong, again.

“Sorry, I'll be quick. How are you holding up? Everything ok?”

He actually checks up on me? I really worried him, haven't I…

“Yes. I'm ok. No need to worry.”

“Thats good to hear, im glad. Have you worked it out with Midoirya?”

Shoto takes a few seconds. Should he tell him? Or keep it secret? Shoto was torn. 

“You, could say that..”

“Sounds even-tempered. You seem to be getting along great. Maybe even better than before, but what do I know. “

…

“So? Are you gonna tell me or not?”

“What's there to tell, you seem to know it all…”

“Your eyes tell the whole story. And so do his. Good on you, kid.”

Aizawa raises his hand, and carefully places it on Shotos head. 

“Thats all I wanted to know. You're good to go.”

Shoto felt the pressure on his head disappear, as Aizawa returns his hand to sit inside his pockets.

Sometimes, Shoto forgets Aizawa to be his teacher. He forgets his tired, pissed off expressions, his cold, strict ways of teaching. Right now, he was looking at someone caring, empathetic and careful. A teacher who truly loves, and cares for his students. Someone who seemed to have picked up a new habit.

“Thank you. For everything.”

“Dont. I did nothing special. Just my job.”

Shoto had wanted to object, but Aizawa was faster than he was. He places one hand on Shotos shoulder, and turns him to face Izuku, standing further away, right where they left him. He felt a slight push on his back, leading him to keep walking. Another habit he seemed to have picked up.

“ Go now. We dont have much time left. Make sure to practice your new moves, someone will judge them soon.”

Shoto turns around, but decides to leave it be. He nods, and heads off, back towards Izuku, who would greet him with a smile.

"You're back! What did he say?”

“He knows.”

“What??”

“Apparently, our eyes tell the whole story…”

“Wait, you mean-?”

Izuku looks towards Aizawa, then back to Shoto.

"Yes. It was bound to happen eventually.. It's ok, right?”

“Oh, ok. I mean, sure. You said he knew even before I did, so…won't hurt I suppose.”

Izuku thinks.

“It's kind of weird, though, isn't it? I feel like I need to be careful now! He'll just see through it all…”

Izuku laughs at himself, at the situation. 

“Uraraka, Ida and Aizawa… Yea, im fine with that.”

Izuku smiles. 

“Now, back on topic, try again! I really want to see if It's possible or not! You should be able to do it simultaneously with practice, right?”

“Right. Here I go.”

The training continues. Shoto tried to go with Izukus Idea, Izuku played support, and tried some of his new Ideas for himself every now and then.

The day went by, and school came to an end. The class returns to the dorms, and each of them take a dip in the bath, as they're all powered out and sweaty.

Shoto, as usual, waits in his room, until the bath has cleared out a bit more. Izuku had asked him to join him and Tenya, but refused, as he would rather be alone than with a lot of people. He felt slight regret, though, as it also meant being away from Izuku again. 

Time went by, and after what felt like an eternity, he takes off. Right at the door, though, he would be held back by a sound coming from his phone. Someone messaged him. He considered ignoring it, but ultimately decides to check, as it only takes a few seconds, and wouldnt look good on him if it was Mina again...

“Hey, are you still in your room?”

It was Izuku. 

“Yes. I'm going to take a bath now, though.” 

“K”

Shoto wondered about the question, as he already told Izuku his plans, but wouldn't question it any longer. He would always like receiving a message from Izuku. 

No matter the reason. 

Now, he would finally leave his room, and walk towards the bath. He wouldn't get far, though, as he heard someone running up behind him.

"Caught you!”

Izuku popped up next to him.