Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gundham sips his juice pouch. He isn't especially fond of hospitals, and technically this isn't one, but he'd still been stripped down to a patient's yukata upon pod-extraction and given a once-over on his way out. He's also been receiving regular 'Do you know what day of the week it is? The year?' sort of questions since then, along with other similar tests of his cognitive abilities, his memory, and physicality. He wasn't 'in there' for long, and 'dead' within it even shorter, but long enough for it to take some toll. It took him a day to regain his ability to speak, and he's harshly aware that the bits and pieces of human language he had picked up over the past few years have fled his consciousness, much like he'd been a half a decade ago. It feels odd to compare himself to 16-year-old Gundham, but that is who he's been most recently, isn't it? And so it makes sense that that's who he'd feel most like. He certainly doesn't want to feel like Gundham from only weeks ago. He squeezes it and chews hard on the straw. The juice is gone, but he's still gnawing away - he's not entirely ready to talk to anyone yet and knows it will be expected of him the moment his mouth is free to the world again. Besides, if by chance some extreme amount of eviscerating plastic with his teeth would get him released from the faux-sterile prison, he would like to at least give it a shot. Maybe they'll return him to his cabin now?

When he looks up there are eyes on him, and they do not seem to be ones ready to hand him a cottage key. Hands folded politely in his lap, Nekomaru is staring down at him with great force, and Gundham is holding his gaze right back, squinting, scowling, making himself look busy with his juice pouch. They weren't able to recover any more of his clothes. The place he'd told them about, where he'd been holed up before it was determined that they should 'turn themselves in', has been destroyed in the time since his capture. The Future Foundation scarcely enjoys knowing he is alive, and so it logically follows that he'd be told that they would absolutely not spare members to search through rubble for his comfortable boots or his custom-tailored coat. Disappointing nonetheless - so for now it's generic clothing that makes him feel underdressed. Exposed. Plain. Masked. He has his scarf, though. It still smells vaguely of gasoline, and provides some cover for when he'd like to hide away. He doesn't get away with his juice gambit forever. He knew he wouldn't, but the fact it's all over in one small, fatal mistake of idly lifting the scarf's edge up to his nose and burying part of his face in it, which seems to indicate in the (no longer) tinman's eyes that he's ready to take on the day, is crushing.

"You feelin' better?" Gundham grunts a negative, but his rehabilitator must take it as an affirmative, because he claps a hand onto his back and shakes him around with a laugh, "Good! Told you you were probably just runnin' a little low on fuel. Know how that feels." Nekomaru nudges him but it’s really not that funny. "Ready to get a move on, then?"

The exercise portion of his easing back into analogue life has been rough enough...Gundham's logic goes straight to the next possible alternative, and the iciness of anxiety that blooms out of his black hole core begins to draw him in. His knees lift off of the floor onto the side of the cot he's sat on and he pulls them into his chest, guarding the frigid hole there. Maybe he can backtrack. "...If the heavenly mare has drawn aback the coast's silver-foam fractal—"

"It's high tide, anyway. You're movin' alright, I want to get you talkin'!"

Fuck. In a fraction of a moment, he assesses all the possible implications. There are some that have still yet to awaken from their simulation-induced comatose states: Mikan (her 'unstable reference of reality' had been noted as a potential cause, citing Gundham's own experiences, which he's not too keen to re-explain, especially with the Alter Ego program so chipper and ready to spell out to him his various neurotic tendencies - and her absence is hence the reason Nekomaru is in charge of his...rehabilitation), Ibuki (something to do with Despair Disease and its complications on the physical body, potentially), Byakuya - Ryota? - The Nameless One and Teruteru (both still having their simulated actions monitored), and Nagito  (under near-constant medical surveillance, usually by Hajime (‘Izuru’?), but occasionally handed off to the next-nearest capable technician). They are off the table. Even if they weren't, his interest in them is...minimal. Unless they've suddenly made a very large decision and he's going to be carted off to speak with the Future Foundation members again, the most comfortable interaction of ‘ talkin'’ he can hope for is Peko or Sonia. And despite the talks they've had, briefly and against Gundham's better judgement (and perhaps his will, if one were generous in allowing him to still have one), Kazuichi has been...

...on the roster. Of potential alive-and-well candidates to re-introduce Gundham to.

Mostly-scarf, he looks up with as rancid an aura as he can possibly radiate up at Nekomaru, who's already standing. It's too early, surely. Surely Kazuichi is in some throes of sleeplessness so intense that introducing a companion would be foolhardy and fruitless. Or perhaps asleep! Maybe he's even still in bed! Gundham hasn't been given the time to put on his face. It's all raw, rough and scarred and covered in too-pale, overblown, shaky-handed jagged tattoo lines and eyebags that aren't even cool looking , just sickly.

The good-naturedness vacates Nekomaru's face. Gundham doubles down. Remains seated. "Listen, we can do this the easy way if you wanna."

"There is no easy path to redemption."

"You said it! So we're doing it the hard way, then? Brave! I like it!"

"I will not be taking consultations under the current moon phase."

"Moon better change within the next ten minutes, because that's just about how long I'm giving you before we wrestle it out again."

"Power is not my limiting factor! You know for certain I would destroy you!"

"Gundham, pal."

The look says all it needs to. To spend eternity locked with what is to remain of the squad of archdevils is his fate, and the sooner he comes to terms with their confinement here with him, the sooner he may begin to fraternise again. It did feel nice, once. Perhaps somewhat uniquely among his peers, he was sent into the Program with a deep heartache that mirrored that in his young self in many ways - lonely then, and lonely now. The feeling of having hope after so long is still tantalisingly close. It feels closer and realer than that of the before-times, anyway, not that he can rely on this relativity forever. No, inevitably, there will be more misfortune. Misfortune that he has the ability to allay by his own hand if he is to just lock himself away. What a lot of good isolation did him, though.

The tinman, back in his fleshen suit, sighs heavily and puts the meat on his mechanical bones to awful use. "We're doin' this as a team. I know we scuffed it the last couple tries, but that just means we oughta try again. I know you're screwed up," Gundham tries to parse the expression on his face, but is too distracted in scowling at the way Nekomaru insists upon having his pinkie finger up one nostril, "but you don't have to be perfect to get out there."

Gundham squints.

"...Come on, are you gonna step all over the gifts you've been given?"

That one hurts. He scoffs and averts his eyes, looking at the corner of the room. Naegi - yes, despite being his underclassman, he feels it necessary to refer to him with a little bit of tact - has given him too much. More than he deserves. A considerably large cage stands by the door, and a great racket radiates as its inhabitants in each section prepare separately for their slumber. Hajime has given him too much. Nekomaru has given him too much. It's not unlike having a bowl of food set expectantly in front of him, to see Nekomaru stand by the open door - thankfully, when he flicks the detritus he's dug out of his cranium it's outside of Gundham's temporary quarters and into the hall instead - all but begging him. But isn't Kazuichi also behind the clatter of glassware? Is he not stood there, pleading more quietly, to let him alone? To leave him to his devices? Surely. Gundham stands up. If he's going to do it, he's going to be efficient about it, and he is not going to pout further. He will clean himself up and face the battle ahead. 

Nekomaru flashes him a grin. "That's right. I know forcing you doesn't make it feel like any accomplishment...but being able to do it at all is good for ya."

"The tourmaline maul…" What remains of his lineage of Devas are coming off of quite a break from close husbandry efforts, but he has not been stopped from bringing them everywhere with him yet. "...are you spontaneously darkening his doorstep with the Hells' finest?"

"...what? No..."

Gundham coaxes curious hamsters into his sleeves, expecting Nekomaru to explain, but he does not. He huffs, closes the cage door, and stands, relieved slightly by the little feet and claws on his skin as his soldiers find their formation. He bows and flourishes Nekomaru out of the room. He'd take the lead if he knew where they were going, but he's been trying his best to keep from being privy to Kazuichi's day-to-day activities. If he were, his excuses to stay away from him would number less and less. Please have it be so that Nekomaru had at least warned Kazuichi of their arrival.

***

"...you're kidding, right? What does Gundham's rehabilitation have to do with me?" Kazuichi was staring at Hajime as if he had said the strangest thing in the world, wires still in his hands from an automatic he was messing with on request of his other classmates. It'd been a little while since the man in question had emerged from the program, much to the joy of everyone. Kazuichi was certainly glad he was alive, but it's not like they talked. They just didn't really have that kind of relationship, at least he didn't think so. In the Program itself, he and Gundham hadn't been close. They hardly spoke, and when they did, they'd just argued. Those memories were the freshest in his mind and while there were plenty of older ones that confirmed that dynamic, there were other ones that gave him weird feelings. Ones that made him feel like...they weren't friends but they weren't not friends either. Anything complicated like that, Kazuichi has opted to shove away for the time being. Contradictory school memories and most of his time as a 'remnant' were things he'd rather not pay attention to with far more important things to worry about. In other words, he was trying to be as mature and put together as his peers were. Not that it always worked.

"Nekomaru thinks it would be a good idea." Hajime had explained. "You two will be seeing each other more sooner or later, and as his support, I trust his judgement."

"I get you're super smart now, but seriously? That guy doesn't exactly like me."

"That's not the point. It could be helpful for you, too."

"In what way? Besides, I'm—"

"Not busy with anything I can't handle."

Kazuichi frowns. While it was pretty cool his friend had become a super genius, it did make him feel a bit less useful. The one thing he provided for the group wasn't even uniquely his anymore so it left him with… Feelings he could unpack at a much later date.

"Consider it practise. All you need to do is do what you always do. Showing them some normalcy can be helpful."

But wouldn't normalcy with Gundham just make everyone involved stressed out? He doesn’t want to outright say no, but it's not like he has any idea on what he should even say to the guy. It'd be weird if they had a regular conversation. Had they ever had a regular conversation? So he sat fiddling with a wall clock as he waited for Nekomaru and… well, it felt a little rude to call Gundham any sort of nickname right now, even in his head. They might not be on good terms, but Kazuichi is deeply aware of what everyone is going through right now and sort of feels like he might be cursed with cosmic karma if he makes fun of someone so casually right now. He waves when he sees them, his smile turning awkward as he and Gundham make eye contact. He looks worse for wear, the intense glare that are his eyes not at all helping. Maybe it’s a mix of poor sleep and depression, but Kazuichi is hit by an aura that makes him uncomfortable. And he had to hang out with this guy for how long? "Hey, Nekomaru," the awkward feeling is in his tone and he busies his hands with his screwdriver as he tries not to direct too much attention to the other man, "You needed my help, right?"

Anguish.

At least it's a relatively quiet area. Neutral ground. Good for introducing animals to each other - no established territory. Gundham can't help but still feel distressingly submissive to the gaze, though, and so...holds it. Strongly. He doesn't pull it up, but he does lower his face into the scarf around his neck while he stares with great intensity at Kazuichi. He's not been addressed. He won't say anything… "Wise action," he mutters, referring to the way Kazuichi avoids his eye and directs questions away from him. But that's all he'll say! That's it. He just needed the one.

Nekomaru touches him again, giving him a pat on the back, and his expression somehow continues to harden. "Yeah! Here. Sit down," the hand on Gundham's back guides him to one of the breakroom chairs. He doesn't sit at first - just squints at Kazuichi, trying to convey that he's quite resentful of the whole interaction, and so, as a result, if Kazuichi is also quite miserable, it's only mostly his fault, but not entirely. Nekomaru has no small part in it. Kazuichi can't at all hide his visible discomfort. He knows Gundham doesn’t like him,  but…this is a lot more dislike than he had anticipated. He can’t exactly blame him, but it made this whole thing a lot harder. How could he play nice if the guy looked like he was trying to make him drop dead with just a look?

"I'm gettin' breakfast for real. You eaten yet, Kazuichi? I know Gundham hasn't." Nekomaru breaks the ice for them.

"Of course I ate!" Kazuichi says rather proudly as he moves all the parts of the clock he has scattered around the table closer. "I needed to fix a door this morning so I had to eat early." Not that Nekomaru would approve of how much he had eaten, exactly, but he decided he didn't need to know that part. He glances over at Gundham again. Does he really need to be burning holes into him like that? He knew he wouldn't want to talk to him, but it was way worse than he thought it would be. Maybe it isn't just him; Gundham is pretty antisocial after all. They make eye contact. Kazuichi feels like he should say something yet nothing comes, his eyes darting around only to settle back on his little project. He picks up one of the gears of the clock. It wouldn't distract him for very long, but it would help. As long as Nekomaru doesn't leave them alone. It would be bearable.

…But of course, the next time he looks up it's just Gundham left in the room.

The look on Gundham's face softens… a little. His average look still includes a dark lingering shadow under his brow and permanent lines in his forehead, but he takes this time to avert his eyes, finally giving both of them a break. He knows it wasn't pretending - that while they'd spent time together in the Dream, they didn't know each other. It wasn't a conscious effort to ignore and be ignored, and so if it were to stop now, that would make the most sense. Like initiating a greeting after a long absence. And if he doesn't, likely, the spiral will continue from there, ever onward, worse and worse, until the rift between them is too wide. Would he mind that terribly, though? He raises a hand to scratch at his cheek. The noise causes one of his soldiers to move to that locale and sit, warm, under his ear. He turns his head to put his lips upon them and gives them a quiet kiss on top of the head. It helps the pounding of his heart. A little. "You may speak," he says, eventually, lifting his face from his scarf, coursing with momentary confidence as he folds his hands on the table. "Align yourself with the trajectory you most desire and bask in the benevolent whim of the reborn son, who will fall in your pace this once."

That causes Kazuichi to frown. It's nice to know Gundham isn't different, but it also serves to annoy him. "I wasn't waiting for permission." It's weird, really. In recent memory, he hardly grasped any of that flowery language but now he suddenly does. It makes sense, he would've spent more time with him in the past, but it hurts his brain to just know things now . "You don't want to be here any more than I do, so there's nothing to talk about." Asking the basic questions would just lead them in circles and it's not like he knew enough about Gundham to know anything they could even discuss. Though, him initiating the conversation like that implies they're not going to be separated for a little while yet. Annoying. Soon, the ticking of the clock joins their silence, a smile spreading over Kazuichi's face as he turns it over to watch the hands move. With everything he's built, pulling apart and putting back together a clock is a breeze, but it doesn't stop the spark of joy he gets from completing it. "Now we can actually read the time." He says to himself, standing up and walking over to a far table that he climbs on top of in order to remount the thing. He seems awfully proud of himself, wandering back over only for his mood to easily sour upon remembering the situation.  "...the, uh...that clock apparently stopped working, so I was fixing it." He awkwardly explains as if Gundham couldn't have guessed that.

Gundham follows him with his eyes. The dry irritation doesn't quite make it through, and he knows it. "What necessity of time telling do we have in the enemy's lair," he mutters - it's...sort of a joke, sort of intended to...he doesn't know. Engage? "Tossing you clocks for your scheduled enrichment..." He makes a little scoffing noise, and, now focused on watching the second hand tick around, looks at Kazuichi only briefly out of the corner of his eye, "You're sure its mechanism only failed? Have you not learned your lesson in sniffing about for foul play?" Maybe it's a distasteful joke, but he's been hanging around Nekomaru, who's been routinely making much worse ones.

"...yeah, I'm pretty sure it failed." Kazuichi gives him a weird look, an uncomfortable one. "It just had a couple of loose parts." He'd much rather not imagine someone was messing with the clock intentionally. After everything that had happened...it would just be horrifying if anyone was thinking like that. "Besides, kind of need to know the time if we need to have any meetings. Aren't schedules important for your animals or whatever?"

"Kff..." Gundham steels his nerves, but the slight deflating of his confident figure is still noticeable. He loosens up a little with a roll of his shoulders. There's so little to look at in here...at least within the Dream things were constantly happening. If Fuyuhiko had gone to bed when he should, and if as a result Gundham had forfeited his body...at the very least, his life would be much more straightforward from here. Certainly wouldn't be dealing with this, all for someone to bring him breakfast he'll likely be struggling to keep down later, anyway.  Today is not a good day for this. He shouldn't be here. His mere presence poisons the room. "They...are indeed. Your enrichment is still a honed talent and necessary service," he gives in through a clenched jaw, not quite disgusted with himself enough to shut up. After a period of time much too short to truly think through the consequences of such an action, he says, "...How is it you've distinguished between the unrelenting and eternal ill hand you were dealt since the conception of your being, and curses bestowed in despairing haste, ones that yet may lift with effort?"

Kazuichi stares at Gundham blankly. He might be a bit better at understanding him, but that didn't mean he could catch everything. He groans, leaning back on the chair. "Yeah man, you sound like you're spouting nonsense," He narrows his eyes, a long silence between them as he tries to decipher even one thing from the question. "...nope, I got nothing." He shakes his head. "I kind of get it, but the words you're saying in that order don't really..." Kazuichi frowns, awkwardly rubbing his neck. He should be patient. That's something he is trying to be better about.

A cold sweat breaks out over Gundham, and he crosses his arms over his chest while he tries to think of another way to phrase the question – not an easy task. He stares past him for a moment and, less than politely, tries again with slight variation: "...You have a sense now for which runes inscribed upon your soul are permanent and familiar. Which ones spurred your rebellion and bolstered your defences long ago...and which...and which to carve away. Which were designed at the gem-studded serpent queen's behest. Yes?"

Kazuichi looks even more confused. "Are you trying to give me a puzzle? I know you can speak normally, dude." He leans forward, resting his head on his hand as he closes his eyes tight. "You're saying..." He pouts in concentration. "That now that I have my memories...how do I...know what's real?" He opens one eye as if to try and gauge Gundham's expression, scratching his head in frustration. "Man, if that's all you wanted to ask, you could be a lot more straightforward! It's too early for brainteasers! How do you even think them up so easily..." Regardless of if he was right or not, it's what Kazuichi has gathered from it and he isn't going to deal with another unnecessarily long question. "...I guess...I don't? I don't think anyone does." He stares off at a wall, the conversation much more serious than he is personally eager about. "Why? Are you worried about something?"

Gundham opens his mouth to correct him, but finds that either way, the conversation seems to be nearing the points he'd intended to hit. It's understandable that the others aren't keenly interested in sharing thoughts of their purposeful transgressions to humanity's very essence, but...but he can't figure out how they can just move on, either! He can't. It taints his every breath. "It would be foolish if I weren't." While true, he glosses over that admittance and continues, his crossed arms turning more into a self-hug. It's cold in here - he's cold. That's all. "You experienced these distortions more linearly than I did, right?" Kazuichi was one of the survivors. Gundham remembers very little except a great scrambled mess from after his passing, including the grand image of their Ultimate Blueprint; Miss Enoshima. "And so something in that time unlocked within you a hunger strong enough to awaken you, even to the prospect of reparation that awaited beyond the veil. And so you did, willingly, with fervour. "I just wonder how. What really changed? I'm still the same being I was, anyway." He's already had this conversation with others, to varying degrees of success. None of them have had answers that satisfied him.

"I think you have the wrong idea. The only person who really changed was Hajime." Kazuichi looks uncomfortable just thinking about it, grabbing his braid and tugging on it. "I did what I had to to get to reality, yeah, but it's not like any of it is gone..." How should he put this? He hadn't really talked about any of his feelings with anyone. Gundham was actually the first one to even ask a question close to how he was doing and he gets the feeling it's more for personal closure than anything else. It's not that anything in him had changed, he was just following the tide. He was doing what he needed to do to help his classmates and Future Foundation. If he stops to really think about anything he'll probably be just as depressed as Gundham is, so it isn’t an option. The world is still in disarray and his life is still on the line. In many ways, it's like he'd never left the killing game in the first place. Though, instead of explaining any of that and telling Gundham how he was being so headstrong about it all, he groans in a rather defensive manner, "Why are you asking me, anyway? If you're looking for advice I'm the absolute wrong person to ask. You've got friends, ask them!"

Even with the venomous answer, Gundham mentally notes it. No one has changed. It's new, at least. Sure, it's probably true in a strictly logical sense, but there's been so much talk of being renewed, second chances, renewed hearts and minds. Even the more morose of them - Sonia, notably - has told him about some sort of switch inside, as if there were something he could do to flip it back to 'hope' should he just dig around enough. It is selfish in nature, but the fact that Kazuichi has said anything other than 'you have to find it yourself', or even 'here's how I figured it out' and then went on to say things that Gundham had either already tried or didn't understand, is fascinating. He places his sock-covered heels onto the chair beside him and rubs his knees. It looks painfully casual in these clothes, a motion that's meant to make him feel powerful and intimidating. He hums an acknowledgement. "I have ," He can't help the way his voice rises - in fact, if he even notices, it's not clear, because his tone isn't especially angry, just intense. "Whatever journey they are on, it is not shared with mine. Not an uncommon occurrence in the unlife of Tartarus' warden, but it- sucks ."

Honestly, Kazuichi is just surprised Gundham had said that in such an easy to understand way. And he sort of understands; having people you care about but none of them being open with you about what was going on. That was something that happened often in his own life. Not because he didn't ask, but because he just...wasn't someone people went to to vent. This isn't the conversation he had expected them to have, but at the very least it felt normal. He feels like for the first time in a while, he and Gundham are just two people. They don't really show each other vulnerability and Kazuichi isn't someone who found such things easy to handle, but...it is better than just being annoyed. He stares at the table. "There's a reason I'm not helping rehabilitate you guys so...don't take this super seriously." He doesn't even glance up, looking like he's actually having a hard time coming up with his next sentence, "But we're kind of...just not trying to think about it." At least that's what he's doing, so he assumes that's what was going on with everyone else. "Naegi is doing what he can to make sure we're not gunned down, and we're all working to get everyone together again. After that, there'll be talk of rebuilding Japan..." He looks exhausted just thinking about it. "There's not really any time to be down in the dumps about anything."

"What then for the pit-beast who has spent his aeons at the apex of the antlion's trap?!" It's much easier to get a little snappy with Kazuichi than it is with Sonia or Peko, he finds. "Scarcely do I remember how I escaped the dumps in the time spent fighting it." He remembers caring for his classmates, his stewardess, and his holy mother. Dearly. With the trinity scant a third of what it'd been, he sees more clearly that he'd always been... like that. He squints at Kazuichi and has a sudden desire for an equivalent exchange to take place as the universe works through him. "...but your reason is ? Who determined your unfit nature for such a thing?"

Kazuichi straightens up, getting more defensive now that Gundham’s sounding more upset. He thought he was being pretty reasonable in what he was saying, what made him feel like he had be angry with him about any of this? "Hajime...and Fuyuhiko...and Sonia... myself ." He sort of mumbles before shaking his head with a groan, "What's it to you, anyway? You clearly don't like or want my help, so why do you care if I'm helping with any of the mental stuff?!" Besides, his other question wasn't one Kazuichi could even answer. How do you stop feeling sad? The answer was you just don't , at least in his experience. You forget about it, but it's not gone. Even if he told Gundham that, he doubted he'd like the answer much. Or maybe he would – at least it’s realistic – but still . He'd practically admitted to only asking him as a last resort, so what’s he even looking for?

"The well from which I drink no longer matters to me. A desiccated spirit takes what it's capable of receiving." Really, it doesn't matter if it comes from Kazuichi or not. It'd be the same either way. But the information itself has value. The contact itself has value. Gundham shrugs, becoming defensive himself. Who cares why he's asking? He just is. He just wants to know. He would know better than any other what sort of input he needs in order to forge his own path, wouldn't he? Has he not made it excruciatingly clear enough that his mind doesn't operate on the same wavelength as mortal kind? "Through the haze of the Dream's domain though held on the riverbed I was, I still saw 'it'. Was not the ongoing action a plan to induce camaraderie?"

"That doesn't make any goddamn sense!" Kazuichi yanks his beanie off in frustration, stretching the material in his hands with an annoyed look. The dark roots of his hair that are showing are probably the only visual indication that he isn’t the same person he was several years ago. Not that he really acts like it. "There isn't some magic solution to make you stop being sad, so why are you getting angry at me about it?! You've got way more distractions than I do, why don't you focus on that? You can look at any god damn bird and list facts about it for hours, that's literally the easiest distraction any of us could have! Plus, people want to talk to you, so I don't know, maybe engage?" He can't exactly say why he's so upset, but he is, and...Kazuichi hadn't had time to create a verbal filter for himself. "You're asking how to stop being depressed, but fuck, that attitude is so annoying! Assuming I've got it all figured out and I'm just withholding it from you. You've got so much already right in front of you and instead of confiding with your friends and trying to be normal, you're acting like I'm a bad therapist! Yeah, all this is fucked up, we're all fucked up from it, but you actually have the privilege of being able to sit there and think about it so, I don't know, shut up about it for a while!?"

Gundham reacts with frustration, but no surprise. His shoulders, while before slowly tightening into a hunch, now drop with great drama. "What does it look like I'm doing?!" He sets his elbow on the table and leans his chin into it, "You run your mouth without knowing a single facet of what ‘ confiding’ I've been doing! I told you of my efforts! Oh, for shame, that I resist engulfing you in the depths of the frigid miasma!" He's not usually a sarcastic person, he's not sure why it's coming out this way, there's just something that nags him when it's Kazuichi doing the arguing. "My time dilates separately from the rest of you, but still have my few days passed before a blink of the eternal eye can take place!" Come on! Give him a break! He's less than a week out of the Stockade! "Not to mention no scry of mine upon your capabilities – beyond praise for your handiwork – has been made! Banish the thought! As if it isn't equally 'annoying'!"

"What it looks like is you're getting annoyed at me for giving you the best answer I can. Fucks sake, I watched you die! Pretty reasonable that I'm not open to talking about that and maybe you shouldn't be either! Unlike you, I'm busy. I have things I need to be doing to make sure we don't die for real, there's only so much I can offer you. I'm not your friend, and I sure as hell have no clue what I'm doing. I said that the way I'm dealing with it is ‘ I'm not’, why are you upset about that?" He can't even tell if they're really listening to each other, though him not really grasping exactly what Gundham is saying surely isn't helping their communication. He told him not to rely on his advice, and now he's getting upset that he’s been given bad advice. "Instead of wasting your time talking to me, spend time with your actual friends! Pretend that nothing bad ever happened, because that's literally the only thing keeping anyone sane right now! Focus in on the fact that the last thing you did was heroic compared to everyone else and put your damn narcissism to good use for once!"

Gundham puts his feet on the floor. Don't stand up. Don't stand up. Don't escalate this. "Then go ahead and replay the scene within your mind's eye as often as you need to find yourself peace in the karmic balance of it all! I do, quite often! 'Heroic'? Only in its end! In its intent, I was to fulfil my cosmic purpose! To bring about the End of All Things!" That's – not something he's admitted before. Sonia had spoken to him and spent so much time so absolutely convinced, giving him no breathing room to deny her – that the reason he had done what he did was solely, and entirely, a selfless act. And it was, in a way. He was not crushed by the outcome. He had weighed it as a possibility the entire time. If he had not been able to handle any of the possible ends to his journey he would not have set off upon it, but when it's directly in front of him, he won't say otherwise. No, the optimal outcome was his survival. Obviously. He didn't want to die. He was perfectly content with trading the remaining lives for his own. Again: if he wasn't, he wouldn't have done it. His voice is muffled as he shoves himself into his scarf, the clarity of his speech not helped by the fact that he's stopped shouting. "Being recognized for such a deed could bring me no comfort. How is bearing yet another mark of a killer forevermore a boon? I have failed in every sense of the word." Not even touching the fucking idea that he thought once that this is what he wanted so deeply, that his entire being is built upon the skeleton, calcified over great time in the hyper-concentrated evil solution he's been submerged in from birth. The idea that not wanting that mark in itself is a failure. Having been caught is a failure. Having been revived without Enoshima in his body was a failure.

Kazuichi glares at him, his heart beating in his stomach as he huffs. At least they both had the sense to not push this to where it became explosive. He pulls his hat back onto his head, looking off to the side as he grumbles to himself. "...you know, you're almost as bad as Komeada, with the way you talk about yourself."  And based on how they both feel about that guy, it is far from anything positive, "Yeah. It's kind of fucked up what you did. Wild that I was someone defending you before you admitted it. But...the fact that you folded so easily and let yourself be voted out says that you're not as evil as you say you are. Someone truly evil would've denied it to the very end and not show any guilt at all. You said yourself that you despise murder and those who commit it...so I don't think you would've been able to live with yourself if you'd won."

"You don't know true evil..." Maybe he...was proud of it...! How about that?! And that's why he gave in. Maybe it was hubris. But he doesn't say this, and from what he knows of the hex upon his mouth, if he can not say it aloud, it defies all reality. "That bothers me little. The entire act was crafted so to provide me minimal guilt no matter its outcome," Really, truly, he'd love to get off of this topic. The discomfort he feels about the idea that Kazuichi, despite his snivelling and crying and Sonia-centric mind state at the time, could still recall Gundham's (at the time very heartfelt) cry for understanding in his last moments among his classmates may well freeze him solid if he dwells on it too long. It was not a speech meant for him. The fact that he had digested it like that anyway is… disconcerting.

"If everyone is saying what you did was good and not your fault and whatever else...isn't it better to believe them?" Kazuichi won't admit how much he had thought about that case after it had taken place. It was a mess, and even if he wasn't on great terms with Gundham, it felt wrong to watch him die and be labelled a murderer. People liked him. He was considered an all round good person by everyone in their class. No matter how many times Gundham called himself a ‘Dark Lord’, it wouldn't change the fact that he loved animals. As sure of a sign as any that he wasn't a sociopath.

Another thing Gundham would love to say is that he is not in the business of simply believing and adopting the image that others project upon him, but here they are, his being constructed out of that exact thing, and there's very little that he can do to protect himself from the blowback that blatant a lie would cause. Although, the fact that his actions would have consequences is comforting in a way. Gundham shakes his head a little. "I'm not used to it." To praise upon his moral standings, he means, "Say I accept the nobility attributed to my acts, that because of my punishment I have been cleansed in the eyes of the council…" He's not sure he wants to go down that path, actually. He grinds his teeth audibly. One of the hamsters in his scarf nibbles on his jaw. Normally it may call attention to the action and allow him to release the tension - at this moment all it does is serve to annoy him. He puts a hand under the scarf and palms the little beast, petting it atop the head with his thumb. "...little would be left of me. Before you baulk, listen hither - I am well aware of the disbelief held about the contents of my blood. No show of magical force or paranormal pomp can portray to those without senses to pick up on such power the true essence of my being. I understand this. But this does not change the nature of the black hole that powers my flesh." The magic bit is 'put up with' at best, and I realise that. But it is the only frame of reference for a sense of self that I have.

Kazuichi is doing his very best to grant the conversation the seriousness it deserves, but he finds himself laughing despite the painful expression that spreads across his face. "Didn't think I'd agree with you on something like that..." He refuses to elaborate, though the way he looks down and swallows hard might be more than enough. Taking a deep breath, he leans back again, crossing his arms over his chest. "Bluntly, yeah, you did kill someone. A video game version of a robot, but still someone. That's fucked up. It's fucked up that you didn't tell anyone and it's fucked up that you made it so complicated. Nekomaru holds some blame in it, but maybe you guys were just too prideful." He sighs...this is so hard, "But you also did what you had to to survive. Fell into the psychological trap the program wanted you to fall into. It sucks, but it's natural. Whether we wanted to or not, all of us fucked up. But nothing at all is going to change it now, we just gotta...suck it up and try to be normal again." Kazuichi is full of that guilt and self loathing too. It was traumatic what had happened and the things he'd have nightmares about, but he couldn't surrender to the feeling eating away at him just yet. Every second of every day he feels like he wants to have a breakdown and tear out his own insides. He feels like he was just as bad as Despair made him out to be and hardly deserves the title of survivor. But what can he really do? If he lets himself fully process it, he'll feel worse and spiral into depression, so he acts like those memories aren't there. "Nothing you do will get rid of anything that happened or change who you are. But...if it helps you to tell yourself how much of a victim you really are, it's better to hold onto that and move forward." Then he pauses, groaning to himself, "God, I sound like Hajime…"

"Khh. Victim," Gundham doesn't like the word, but he isn't going to argue that it certainly sounds like that's what he's been unintentionally aiming for. He scrubs both hands through his hair, glad he hadn't had the chance to make it up yet this morning. The whole front goes grey, all of the white strands diffusing in tangles with the rest. When he's done it seems he's unaware that one of the hamsters has emerged from his sleeve and sat in the rat's nest atop his head because he looks down suddenly enough that it struggles to hold on and keep its balance, taking little handfuls of hair to steady itself.

His face in his hands, he just breathes for a moment.

Chapter Text

"Heads up!" 

Gundham gets the distinct feeling that Nekomaru has been waiting for the conversation to lull, but doesn't say anything to provoke him as he enters - in fact, doesn't look over at him at all, and instead tries to see if maybe he can figure out what he's doing and how embarrassing it is to watch based only on seeing Kazuichi's reactions. The 'heads up' was apparently not for him, because Gundham gets to watch as a granola bar is tossed directly at Kazuichi's head, who seems far more startled than he should be as it hits him, scrambling to catch it before it hits the ground. He appreciates the gesture, but that bar was more dense than he would've liked for something being thrown at his head. Honestly, he appreciates Nekomaru coming in to distract them. He was getting dangerously close to bringing up memories he wished would stay buried forever and he'd much rather no longer be talking about all this heavy stuff at all. Unfortunately, he is going to be thinking about it as he lays in bed tonight, and he gets the feeling the conversation itself had been rather pointless for Gundham. He didn't seem to connect with anything he'd said at all, so it was all for nothing. And this hang out was supposed to be helpful to the two of them… how?

"I said not to throw things at me when you've got such a strong arm!" He whines as he rubs where he'd been hit. 

Nekomaru slides a tray in front of Gundham. Among the only fresh foods he can eat here are fruits, so he's relieved to see some. The bread, not as much, but it'll do. The coffee being cold adds another layer to his suspicion that Nekomaru has just been lying in wait. "I’m keeping you sharp! It was underhand, you'll be alright." Nekomaru slaps a hand over Kazuichi’s shoulder and sits beside him, across from Gundham. "So… It got heated in here, huh? That's not always a bad thing. I'm surprised nobody threw any punches."

Gundham's feeling ill just looking at the piles of half-stale food on Nekomaru's plate that he's more than happy to dig into. Once the seal has been broken, it seems the rest of the morning's spectres now feel able to join in - there's some shuffling from the adjacent kitchenette. Who it is, exactly, he isn't certain, because they don't enter the room. Smart of them.

"Alright, who's goin' first, then?" Finally Gundham takes his eyes off of Kazuichi to cast a pale-faced look in Nekomaru's direction. He's peering over the top of a mug of coffee, pulling it away from his lips only to nod at him. "The goal's to get everyone's energy all in sync, you know? And you can't do that until you know where everybody's at. The atmosphere's already feeling less oppressive in here already, so, I said," he pauses to drink, "who's goin' first?! Don't be shy. After this coffee I've got maybe a half-hour of babysittin' in me before I gotta go ."

"So you say we could embargo this exchange with great ease." Gundham mutters.

Kazuichi tries to just focus on eating his granola bar instead of how the awkwardness seemed to return. He has no idea what Nekomaru is feeling, but he personally feels like the air between himself and Gundham hasn't changed at all. "Look, man, are you going to make me hang out all day?" He was not looking forward to the possibility of having another serious conversation and desperately needed to find something to take his mind off things. Sure, breaks were good, but being forced to sit next to Gundham all day hardly seemed like one. "I get wanting to get us all together again, but I really want to get back to maintenance work." Not to mention he feels like he might end up making the guy's mental state worse , not better.

Gundham takes this time to hold a piece of melon up to his scarf, drawing out a little furry nose from it while the hamster on his head also begins to try to shuffle down to get a piece. It's much easier to see the lumps in his clothes when he's not decked out in a heavy trench coat as they wander their ways to his hand all at once.

Nekomaru shrugs, "You don't have to be here if you don't wanna, but I will call you a wuss if you leave," he chuckles, and then looks a little more serious, "For real? You two really let loose around each other like nothin' else. It's good for you to get a little energy out. 'Specially if you've got a coach making sure nobody plays dirty, right?"

Kazuichi groans, looking away. That sounds like sticking around is expected of him. Maybe it will be good in the long run, but here and now he sees no benefit to going at each other's throats all day. What was Nekomaru seeing here that he wasn't? "I can get my energy out with my projects, though," He whines like a child, "The one thing Gundham and I agree on is talking to each other makes the mood worse, so why are you guys forcing me?" He pulls the beanie down to cover his eyes, taking a bite of his bar as he grumbles. "I've been doing so much lately, this can't be a punishment for anything…"

"And so your solution is to snivel about it?" Gundham mutters, pulling the melon slice away from the hamsters and taking a bite out of it before holding it toward them again.

"Took my all to get you out of bed this morning, much less your room." Nekomaru reminds him, pointing his pinkie finger directly at him. Gundham clams up, pursing his lips tightly with a scowl. He's not wrong, though. Gundham has no issue admitting that he's eased by the contrast between his interactions. At least around Kazuichi he doesn't feel guilty. The other emotions aren't dampened as much as he'd like, and he wouldn't call it comfort wholly, but in some ways it is a weight off, and he'll take it. Doesn't seem as if it has the same effect on the other, though. Would it be so selfish to take it anyway? Ah, well. He can agree with Kazuichi on one thing: best not to think about it too much. "If you want me to go easy on ya, I can. Give it til lunch?" Despite the phrasing, it's said with such sincerity that Gundham doesn't feel like he has the right to deny it on Kazuichi's behalf, even for the sake of saving him a hit to his dignity, so he bites his tongue. "What is it you've been working on? I seriously gotta know, if I go back and ask Hajime again, he'll let me have it, and he's better at finding pressure points than anybody I've ever met," Nekomaru laughs and elbows him.

Kazuichi sighs, resigning himself to at least a few more hours of this: Of awkward staring and conversations neither of them want to be having. How are they the only two in the class who fought on a regular basis? It just isn't fair. "Well...aside from maintenance around the island, I've been working on some passion project stuff," Kazuichi decides to pursue the conversation that’d easiest. Most of what he's building at the moment are machines that don't do anything in particular and are more like art pieces. When he lets his mind wander, he spaces out and suddenly finds himself face to face with a mass of metal that had no clear function. Putting those together and pulling them apart again helps him feel busy. "And uh...you know...stuff for the Future Foundation I'm not allowed to talk about…"

Kazuichi is paying so little attention to him that it hardly matters, but Gundham's brows raise at the mention. Has he gotten in with the ene- the Foundation, so quickly? Interesting. Even if he's bluffing to keep from talking about what he's really doing, it still holds an air of mystery that makes Gundham tuck his chin to his chest for a second as he appraises him. "...You've been given clearance to work on 'passion projects'?"

Kazuichi looks back at him, nervously laughing like he wants to sink into his chair. "They said I couldn't build anything like...a full on vehicle or stuff like that, but since it's my talent and hobby, it's better I make myself busy with it." But he very soon looks away, a look on his face almost like shame, "And...it's less that I'm intentionally building and more that...I take the toaster in to fix it up, space out, and suddenly it's not a toaster anymore."

It occurs to Gundham for a second that he doesn't actually know if allowing Kazuichi to work on larger projects would be dangerous or not. Doing a quick check of the back-log in his memory would say that he absolutely should not be trusted with a wrench in-hand, but…well. He would say 'but he survived', and 'but he's better now', but that doesn't seem to be quite the case. At least not in everyone's eyes, even if Kazuichi has a habit of deciding arbitrarily that his contributions are either much more or less significant than they actually have been, with no in-between. The snide comment on his tongue dies before it even has a chance to develop. Something something, exaggerating lens of loathing. Instead he gives an acknowledgement and finishes the melon off the rind, much to his accompanying creatures' disappointment. Even worse is when he doesn't offer them his toast, instead crunching on it himself, making them all clamber back into his clothes. "Naegi's careless nature has innumerable benefits," he muses, quietly, thinking about the weapons of mass destruction that are currently curled up on the nape of his neck, at his left elbow, on his right hip bone, and trying its best to get under his sweatpants waist and being foiled by the elastic.

"Figures we can't hurt nothin' if we're out here, which he's right about. I'd argue that at this point I don't see anybody doing anything unsavoury anyway, but I get the need for some guidelines. Keeping us in line is just for the best. A good routine and strict personal code does everybody good." Nekomaru, who hasn't even spent the last five full minutes without contact, puts his hand back onto Kazuichi. "Kazuichi's probably the only one who's got that many restrictions on him, though."

Kazuichi's smile turns into a pout of sorts. He knows why. Out of everyone, his talent is the one that could most easily turn into something deadly...it's part of why they haven't provided any materials outside of for maintenance. Not that he still couldn't if he really wanted to, but it would be quite the hassle to hodgepodge something together. And really, he'd much rather not build any horrifying machines. He'd built both elaborate death traps and simple mechanisms, ones he saw in his dreams where he would desperately try to tear them apart to avoid hearing the screams that came with it. Not once did he not get covered in blood in those dreams. It haunts and terrifies him how brutal some of those deaths were because he knows that they had come from his own mind. The way Despair seemed to flip his brain's understanding of feelings makes him worry for himself. And for as much as he'd hate to ask, he does want to know if he is the only one with consistent nightmares or not. Instead of focusing on any of that, he shifts his thinking and lets out a groan. "And it sucks! I'm not allowed to look at any of the old military stuff! None of them work so why can't I tear them apart...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity I'm wasting."

"Whatever its bodily condition now is hardly an excuse," Gundham can't help himself in pointing it out, "Shy of simply not having the reagents, naught stalls the colossal plod onward of the enslaved under your rule."

"All’s he's gotta do is soup up one of these ferries and we're back on the mainland." Nekomaru shrugs, "That's the line of reasoning, I guess. With the inter-island transportation openin' up after everyone's up and at'em, I think we can work on it. Kazuichi's talent is going to be important sooner rather than later, so it's a waitin' game." Gundham would like to believe that, and coming out of Nekomaru, he believes that Nekomaru believes it. His spirit makes up for what his brain lacks though, and Gundham isn't seeing the same bright future with all his logic applied. Which makes him feel a little sick, suddenly, and he drops his toast to hang his head with a huff. Alright, maybe he'll give Kazuichi the win on this one. Or, rather, the loss? The only things stopping Gundham from perusing tidepools for crabs and climbing trees to talk to reptiles are the tides and his own body, respectively, which is oppressive, but far from having his interests forcibly removed from his hands. (Although he'd argue that he's still being similarly stifled, just more so by circumstance than by a force which he can pinpoint.)

Kazuichi huffs, "Yeah...when we get on that boat, I better be able to have a look at the engine. I've never seen one in real life, I want to see all those pretty gears. Unless it's steam powered..." But as of right now, that possibility is still a while away. Honestly, he wonders what everyone yet to awaken is doing in that sleep. Is it just like a coma, or are they still in the program? They're all too afraid to turn off the machine, just in case. Maybe he could ask Gundham about it... Speaking of which, he looks over at him. Gundham has always had a face that was hard to read, partly thanks to his lack of eyebrows. He was expressive, but Kazuichi always found himself overthinking his reactions anyway. "...is the toast really that bad?"

"Mortal meals carry the unpurgeable curse of being prepared by mortal hands," Is all Gundham's willing to elaborate on. He'll come back to it, he knows better than to leave his plate with anything edible still on it. That one's not a raw wound, it doesn't hurt so much to prod around in anymore, begets no snapping for now. "If you had a suitably powerful chaperone you would be of no danger, probably." Not that Gundham is exactly part of that group as much as he used to be, but it's not unreasonable. Nekomaru runs with it, anyway, elbowing Kazuichi a couple times suggestively. Under the table, Gundham sends a socked foot into Nekomaru's ankle. "A distant hope," he reminds them, "he who willingly resides underfoot causality's fatal engine's metamorphosis has no possibility of being quick and painless."

Kazuichi stares. It's obvious Gundham has once again lost him with all his flowery language. "Right..." he slowly nods, the confusion in his face not fading for a second, "Well- that's kind of why Hajime hangs around if I'm doing something important." Now that he’s basically an expert in everything he's been put in charge of supervising anything significant. He's pretty sure the only reason Hajime didn't do it himself is because Kazuichi practically begs to be able to tinker with everything.  "Man, if they weren't doing such important stuff, I'd probably go ask them to let me check out a tank or two. You'd understand if you saw them! I used to have a book about all the nitty gritty details and the ones the island has are so amazing! The mechanics are like a capsule of historical genius, I'd love to just crawl inside and see what makes it tick!" He looks as if he's gushing about a gorgeous woman and not a piece of military equipment, his hands clasping together as a dreamy smile spreads across his face at the idea. A dream he hopes to live out one day. "I mean...you guys feel a bit limited too though, right? With how small the space is."

Gundham rolls his eyes in response. When it comes to the belly of the beast Kazuichi describes, really, the best that Gundham can do is imagine that it's probably dark and scary down there. And very, very loud, which doesn't help the disgusted look on his face that he doesn't bother to hide. What a nightmare - the heat of the engine, the cramped space, and the roaring of electricity. Too much.

Nekomaru hums, taking the conversational reins, much to Gundham's pleasure, "I'm getting my fill, in a way. It's not pleasant to see everybody else pent up, but that just means everyone's gotta get more excited to make progress."

Kazuichi nods. He can see how Nekomaru is passing the time, his talent being completely social means that it's actually pretty easy for him to do anything close to it compared to some of the others. Kazuichi's machines are his entire life, so he can't bear to imagine not being able to touch them, though he understands that for some of his classmates it wasn't that hard to go without for a few weeks. Gundham is one of the people he assumes it is difficult for. He hates to admit it, but they are similar when it comes to expressing their interests. As annoyed as each of them get listening to the other sometimes, both of them have a tendency to get perhaps too excited. In a way, Kazuichi feels a little bad for him. The wildlife on the island is few and far between and the only animals allowed are usually small and harmless, even then bringing them here risks the animal dying before Gundham ever sees them. If it wasn't for his hamsters, there's a chance he wouldn't be able to have any 'companions' until they reached the mainland again. ...not that he expresses that sympathy, why would he be sympathetic to the weirdass goth? "I guess that's why you're helping out with the rehabilitation. You get aspects of that kind of work helping everyone readjust." If he's honest...it sounds rewarding. Though for anyone bored out of their mind it's also the only thing you can really do unless you love reading or swimming. "But hopefully we're not waiting around for everyone too long…"

"Hajime's got some new ideas brewing, I think. I ain't technologically-minded enough to help out with that."

"You're of medicinal mind, though," Gundham interjects.

"Well. That's true, but our guys still-under aren't exactly dealing with muscle tears or heat exhaustion."

"Is it not a game of wits as well?" Nekomaru raises his brows, and Gundham pauses, and then continues, "The metamorphosis in question. One that occurs within the mind. The Escape from the Dream is one that takes place entirely outside of the flesh."

"Well. I'm not doing any talkin' to them, if that's what you mean. I guess I could, technically, but I think those pods're soundproof...right, Kazuichi?"

"...I'm not actually sure." Kazuichi knows that people in a coma can still hear things on the outside, but if they are fully immersed in the program, he doubts any amount of talking would do anyone any good. They could program Alter Ego to interfere all they want, but there was only so much he could do for them on the inside…

"You needn't reverberate in their heads to do so in their souls."

"Tch," Nekomaru is much more verbal - and visually frustrated - when he doesn't understand a word Gundham says. It's also much less funny when he does it. When Kazuichi makes faces at him, it’s at least a little amusing. With Nekomaru, it’s just sad. "Yeah, I guess if I yelled loud enough…"

"Actually, that does bring up a good point...since I got out as soon as the killing game came crashing down, I don't actually know what they're going through." He looks between the two other men as if to ask them to clarify. He isn't sure how to word the question, especially if it turned out what got the two of them to wake up was actually something terrifying, but... "After you uh... died , what did you actually see? Is it just a black nothing until you suddenly wake up? Do you dream? Are you thrown into a different program? We ended up leaving after pushing a button so...can't say I'm not curious."

"Much as the realm as we know it would collapse should the singularity at its core grow any incrementally more ravenous, all reason within - and without, from my observation - my being was destroyed as my gem of power was crushed." Gundham uses the distraction of the drama to force down a little more of his food. "The mark of the beast is not so easily cast aside! You all were still besmirched by the very shadow of my presence, eternally under the watchful Eye."

Nekomaru is quiet for a second, and then adds in his own piece, "The whole timeline of it is kinda a blur. I can separate it into parts, though..." Gundham finds himself relieved when the finger that's held out goes into Nekomaru's ear this time. It doesn't make him any more nauseous, anyway.His description, however, is one Gundham can relate to. It's extremely difficult to parse what order things happened in. Actually, if he could compare his Dream experience to Kazuichi's - or any other survivors, really - it might help explain what of his was his own doing and what was integral to the program's design. But his conviction doesn't waver. "Perhaps it's a matter of the strength of one's character," – sure, that's it – "or a curse sat squarely upon the shoulder of blame. Blackened as we may be." Probably more likely - maybe a little more complicated for murderers. Or, that's what he's assuming.

Still a little awkward following up Gundham's words with things that might be completely unrelated, Nekomaru takes his turn again, "There were definitely times where I was little me, and then times where I was loaded up 'n that big metal suit. I'm guessin' that those, at least, were all after?" He leans back in his chair, huffing out a breath as he thinks, "I remember walkin' into the classroom and showin' up on the beach all the way up through having my chat with our Dark Lord all in order, but there's other stuff, too. Dunno when that all happened, or if it's some kinda deja-vu. Or maybe just dreams I had."

"The game's events unfold, recited by unreality, such as it is." He agrees, "But beyond the veil my vision still held, like a spectre." 

That seems to get through to someone, at least, because Nekomaru rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Well... maybe I remember some other stuff. A lot of it involves some pretty dreamy stuff, though. Like when you have shit you need to say, but your mouth just can't make the words, or you want to fight, but you just can't swing your fist. I wasn't a ghost, that's for sure. And who says that was all after, eh?"

"The Seven Devils staffed at the Prince's Hearing dwindled thus: the Cursed one and then Her Image, recreated of electricity," But he doesn't sound as sure as he'd like to. Gundham's pretty sure that's what he remembers, and that's what he had confirmed to him later when he was filled in on what happened after he was gone, but he saw many other things, too. He hadn't thought too hard about when those must have taken place, but...surely after? After-after? He squints to himself and purses his lips tightly, trying to remember.

Kazuichi sounds so disappointed as he groans, slumping onto the table. "That doesn't help at all..." he was kind of hoping for proper insight as to what was going on with everyone else, but he can't fault their brains for being a bit messed up. His was a bit fuzzy and disoriented after emerging as well and it was only after a few nights did his brain fully work again and start putting memories in order. "Makes sense I guess. Can't simulate death if we don't even know what death is like." But he still can't help but wonder what was actually going on while in that state. He can build things just fine, but Kazuichi is not a coding guy, so something as complex as the Neo World Program is out of his branch of understanding. But that does raise the question: "So neither of you are totally sure on what did and didn't happen? Your memories still haven't sorted themselves out?"

"It seemed before now as if recalling all details of the Dream was unnecessary," Gundham bristles a little, defensively, speaking quickly as he gets back to the odd feeling he has as fast as he can in case it slips away. What was it that happened just before he woke up? "The, ah," he taps his fingers on the table in a line as he thinks, "The warehouse - the locus of our festivities. How long between the slaying of the Nameless One and the first trial?"

Kazuichi narrows his eyes as if to ask why that matters, adjusting himself in his chair again. "Assuming time in and out of the program are identical...I'd say an hour or two? None of the investigations lasted that long." Though unless he's trying to mentally construct a timeline, he can't see why the information would be helpful to figuring out what happened after he was meant to die. Gundham did think in weird ways, though, so he shouldn't question too much. He looks to Nekomaru for confirmation. He seems just as blasé about this information.

Gundham does some adding up in his head, trying to come to an exact number and, to his slight dismay, failing - but his ballpark estimate is likely enough to prove his point, unless they think he's being dramatic, which is...not unlikely. He steels as serious a look upon his face as he can muster.  "Eons of toil passed with knees upon the ground and eyes peering through tense darkness!" He says, leaning back in his chair as well and crossing his arms over his chest, quite sure of himself, "No less than a thousand times did the illusory Nanami and I inspect beneath the tired boards of the cursed foundation! Eternities were spent apart from my soul, sat just beyond my grasp! With each passing iteration she uttered words differently to me, and so too did the sky rotate, ever-changing, about the two of us - and so it sticks in my memory as an especially torturous event for its length and intensity."

Kazuichi doesn't take the answer too seriously, sort of staring at Gundham for a long moment. And then he considers it. How truly plausible it was that something like that could happen, causing him to lean over the table with wide sparkling eyes, the pure essence of someone interested in any area of science. "So, for you, it was like the program was generating hundreds of possible scenarios for every interaction you had? The processing speed must've been incredible!" He might not be the biggest computer guy, but he definitely sees the appeal of them. And honestly, he is fascinated to hear the possibility that Gundham got to see those inner workings of the AI even if they messed up his memory a bit. "Meaning that if you were seeing new scenarios all day for several days, your memory would've been flooded to the point where your brain opted to muffle everything...so...both disappointing and super cool to imagine. I wonder if I'd be able to see the logs for that..."

Gundham holds eye contact with great strength, even though he can feel his face going red. He keeps his urge to push his face into his scarf at bay. He was more expecting to be grilled, not believed, especially after the argument that preceded it. He could very easily lie directly to his face just for fun! What about that? "It is not the only incident, but not every moment was expanded upon in that way," He feels the need to clarify suddenly, instead. Ugh. He would be unsurprised if Kazuichi's time picking around in his head in the Beforetimes left behind some sort of mind-control chip or something, "If you were able to confirm my findings, perhaps then yet more would be revealed." He feels less like an imposing overlord and more like a cranky child, but the dramatic tone to his voice would hopefully belie it.

Kazuichi only appears more excited by the possibility, his smile growing wider as he seems to forget that personal space exists in that moment, so much so that Gundham finds himself leaning back. "Exactly! If I can find the logs for you, then not only could we figure out the pattern for why that happened, but we could find the logs for everyone else too! See if it was just you, or better yet, actually get to see an image of what some people are seeing right now!" He's more of just rambling to himself about it, not looking directly at Gundham as he mulls over how they'd even be able to do that, but eventually he pulls back, hands on his hips as he closes his eyes. "Though, not sure Future Foundation would appreciate me poking around in their code like that. Even with Alter Ego we don't want to risk destabilising anything and I'm not exactly a coding nerd...ahh, it'd be so interesting, though!"

"...Don't wait up," Nekomaru says, gruffly, halfway through Kazuichi's musings - and is out of the room soon after. Gundham can't be sure if it's coincidence or if he'd seen the display and decided he no longer needed to mediate. He would like to believe in the former, but he can't discount the latter entirely. Either way, he relaxes a little.

Even so, he lets himself focus on the conversation at hand. "...Surely you know how closely - or rather, not, given they were unaware of our presence until recently - the Foundation at large monitors the slumbering. Naegi I would not show fear of, myself."

"Nah, nothing like that. Makoto seems like a good guy," Kazuichi isn't scared of anyone in the Foundation he's actually had a discussion with. Not that they've ever been very long or about anything other than business, but he could tell that everyone trying to work with them meant well, "More like..." his hand comes up to scratch his cheek. How should he put this? Makoto hadn't been subtle about none of this being entirely approved of by his superiors, but he isn't sure if that was something he should really be talking about at risk of worrying anyone who doesn't know too much.  "I don't want to do something that might mess this up for them? Our ability to get back to the mainland kinda hinges on us cooperating, so..." he’s trying to not be super annoying with his constant bids for something interesting to happen.

This is not the answer he was expecting - and this shows on his face for a second as Gundham looks a little taken aback. Sense, patience, and a polite disposition aren't qualities he'd ascribe even to a younger and less corrupt Kazuichi, at least not in regard to something like this. Something he knows Kazuichi so desperately wants, pitted against something that seems so far away and potentially impossible, regardless… "Wouldn't a miraculous cure for the despair-induced conditions of those of us remaining constitute, I don't know, 'a good work ethic'? Besides, my awakening had its patrons to witness, and at least once I spoke with the Maiden of the Machine but knew not what to have her scry upon. It can't be expressly forbidden." The moment he says it is when he becomes aware that this might be one of those...privileges, that some of them have that Kazuichi does not.

Kazuichi stares at him. For a moment longer than might be comfortable. Gundham can practically see the gears in his brain trying to turn, even as he huffs and lets himself fall back down into his seat. "Is it too personal to ask why you talk like that?" He seems much less annoyed by it, mostly because Kazuichi is actively trying to make this conversation work for as long as possible. "Doesn't it just make things harder? Like, I get the words you're saying, but not the order you're saying them in. I'm not stupid, but please, man, can you just be a little more straightforward? At least use names."

"Swayed, are you, by worldly things like the moral fabric that ties your hands?!" The attempt to stay calm isn't lost on Gundham, but it doesn't mean he has to appreciate it. He scoffs, "Your language and mine are fundamentally different. You ask me to wear the sheep's skin, but a wolf of my stature can fit nary a paw into such a disguise! And to disfigure myself for your comfort is unthinkable." He sinks a little lower in his seat, feeling more and more immature by the passing second. It doesn't count as stammering if he doesn't make any sounds, right? If all he does is hold his mouth open and fail to make them? After a moment, he's able to force it out, his clarification that he just said he wouldn't give, as it would be 'disfiguring' himself. "...Alter Ego. Is who I've spoken to. You know. The Maiden of the Machine."

Kazuichi probably would've gotten more annoyed were he not granted clarification regardless. Seriously, Gundham acted like a loner and actively chose to make it harder to let people be closer to him, why was anyone surprised most of his friends weren't people? It was interesting briefly but having to constantly decode a conversation didn't make for a great experience. He had to know keeping up his front was hindering him socially. At least Kazuichi chose a front that made him approachable. "...right, okay, that makes sense." He took a long moment to reevaluate the previous statement. Knowing what he is talking about helped...a little. "But uh...no, talking to Alter Ego is fine. That's what they're there for. Asking them to dig up files and poking around the program itself could cause problems. If anything, it makes me seem 'unsafe'." So he'd rather not risk it. He was polite when he wanted to be...and wanted to avoid being scolded.  "Wait." He pauses, staring at him, “You've talked to Alter Ego? Like proper not-Chiaki Alter Ego? When?"

"Briefly. Or...they were spoken to, and I was there. Something like that." He pauses, then backtracks and reasserts himself with grandiose finality. "No, I have certainly spoken with her before, truly. Before I awoke."

Kazuichi narrows his eyes but still nods. "Interesting...so you saw Alter Ego before you woke up..." Perhaps the delay between the survivors and the others had something to do with that. He did wonder if that secondary program was still there...did it perhaps have something to do with when Alter Ego managed to clean up the remains of Junko's program? "If everyone else did too, then that might be the common thing among them. Man, if I could just like...plug in your brain and see what you saw myself, it'd be way easier."

Maybe it would have been nice to keep all that under wraps and just let Kazuichi probe someone else's mind over it, but Gundham just has to open his mouth. At least he's set on track now, whether or not he provides any usable information. Maybe Kazuichi will get something useful out of his new project. Doesn't make him feel any better about the bump in the communication, though. Gundham crosses his legs at the ankle. "You should ask around if you think you could keep your toxic miasma at bay."

"...I don't know what you mean by my toxic miasma, but I guess I could..." Problem was that most of the people he found easy to talk to weren't people who ended up dying. Nekomaru was probably the closest he had to a friend among them and he basically confirmed what Gundham was saying. Would it be weird if he just started interviewing people, though? It's not like he wants to know for any reason other than curiosity. If he did go around asking, would it make him seem suspicious? Should he just go up to someone and ask them? Plus, it's totally possible some people wouldn't be inclined to tell him for one reason or another...man, maybe he should try to develop a better relationship with people…

Gundham sinks a little further in his chair until he's hardly able to look over the table. Hamsters are fleeing the sinking ship to higher ground as he dips lower. Maybe he's channelling 16-year-old Gundham too much, but he's really doing his best not to start throwing a total fit. He puts both hands over his face and rubs with the heels of his palms with a grumble. "You—" Nope, cut it out, you're getting along, don't make it worse the moment Nekomaru isn't around to kick your ass into shape... "How is it you've gotten worse at unravelling the menacing weave?"

...Gundham’s really showing off how annoyed he is in a way Kazuichi never really sees from him. It’s weird watching him sink down and weird to watch him act so tired. Perhaps he wasn't as much of 'himself' as he had once assumed, but still. Gundham acting more childishly...no, more like a normal person, catches him a bit off guard. "Are you upset I can't understand you?" He raises an eyebrow, mouth quirking in an annoyed fashion, "It's not my fault you're not giving me much context. Plus, you could just not be cryptic if you wanted me to get you better."

Being older so suddenly has to be what's putting him on edge, Gundham thinks. His thinking has changed. His brain chemistry has changed. He's only a few days out from being able to speak again at all. He's grateful all at once for Kazuichi treating him with a mote of respect here and there and also deeply annoyed that he can't get anything across - and what he can only serves to tease him with the absence of the rest. "So even the grandest can be reduced to basic logical fallacies. Because you knew the inverse spell does not mean you can simply utter your incantations backwards and expect the opposing result..." It's muttered, but loud enough that it's pretty obvious he intends Kazuichi to hear it anyway. "In your addled state you acted with such perfectly balanced ease to despair the Prince, and with such repetitious accuracy, he was under the illusion that you were of a deep understanding. It may have just been randomness working its way through your vessel." You pissed me off so easily before - I thought it was because you understood what I wanted and how I felt and simply inverted it for the sake of despair, but either you're still doing that, or it was just blind chance that somehow, every time, you did the worst possible thing to me .  "...I told you, I do not speak the language of pathetic humans. My tongue is not formed of the same flesh! The muscles of my jaw are made for a more intelligent communication!"

"So now it's your biology that means you can't speak normally and not a magical barrier?" Kazuichi leans his head on his hand, looking at him with the most unamused expression possible. Maybe he wouldn't mind as much if the story hadn't changed, but even then, all it sounded like to him was I don't want to . Honestly...he wished he hadn't understood what Gudham meant that time. He didn't want to think about Despair or what it felt like to be so influenced by it. He didn't want to remember anything he did to Gundham outside of their childish arguments. And he hated the fact that he wasn't the only one who still saw those memories as clearly as his brain would allow. Kazuichi's face morphs into deep discomfort, looking away as he tugs on his braid. "Let's...not talk about that." At the very least, not in public. He doubts he'll ever be ready to touch on anything like that, and would much rather if they both just pretended it didn't happen.

Gundham would love to say that he's unhappy to have caused him discomfort, but for a moment, he indulges in it. Sucks on his teeth, thoughtfully. He likes having his turn to jab, to dig his fingers into a wound for once! He deserves this this once, doesn't he? After everything? To have something that makes Kazuichi clam up instead of fluster and yell? How would it feel to watch him fold? Would he feel again like a Lord with the Automaton finally beneath his heel? But he's avoidant at heart. His very core desires more to run away than it does to cause direct pain, as much as he despises it. "I'd like to help," he asserts, finally, after a minute. That's really the bottom line. It's the reason he's upset. He ought to make that clear, at least. "Having my power on your side would solve your problems. But to decode the stones upon which my wisdom is etched...takes naught short of divine intervention." It'd be really fucking nice if Hajime or Sonia was able to mediate, "But what witnessing the blighted souls may do to the pure ones...I can not anticipate." But I really don't want to air this out around them.

Kazuichi laughs, awkward and cautious, like he doesn't fully believe him. How is he meant to help? Not only that, since when did Gundham want to help him? Not that he feels as if he deserves it, he knows how much of a jerk he's been, even just in the Program. And surely, being the one to bear the brunt of most of that anger, Gundham is the one who would need the help. "They've got their own problems to deal with anyway." And frankly, he'd much rather no one know the full extent of what he remembers. Even if it changes nothing...it's not ideal. "Besides. Anything like that is for me to deal with...we're all fucked up from everything that happened, so it'd be better to focus on fixing that ourselves, right? That's what people always say."

He gets a sharp glare from Gundham in response. "You dare doubt the earth-shattering energy lying untapped just beneath the placid liquid-evil surface?!" He huffs, "You may agree on the basis of the pure ones and their journey, but you forget that I am not one of them. There is no previous unmarred state for me to revert to. Best to have this energy harnessed, then, if I will be saddled with it anyway. Besides, standing between you and our shared goal now is your fear of consequence and your lack of passion. Allow me to light a fire beneath your brazen bull - an act I will do regardless of your opinion - but on your command, to then also inhale the flames!"

Kazuichi stares. For a long time. Gundham is being weirdly pushy, and he doesn't know how to feel. He shifts, uncomfortable, unable to come up with any justification in his own head that makes sense to him. "Why do you care so much? It's not like me doing one thing or the other affects you in any way!"

…Between the humiliation and the rage and the disappointment, there are moments that make Gundham's heart race for different reasons. Kazuichi straddled over his chest, voice drowned out by a great buzzing that vibrates his very skull, but his mouth still moving, grin pulling the corners tight while he drags inked needles through flesh. Talking to him, even though Gundham can't hear. Bleak days where the smoke was so thick the sun would never rise, Kazuichi finally giving in to releasing him from his woven prison. Hands on the small of his back while his shoulders release their tension and his body relaxes all at once, vulnerability of his finely-tuned magic dispersing back into his blood as the straitjacket is loosened. Nights where, ironically, the flashes of blinding light and smell of ozone coming off of welding projects in a shared hideout were the only things that gave Gundham even the slightest inkling that he may still be a man and be among men, evil as they might be - and apart, the idea in his mind that somewhere in the city, time was still trudging on, whether he was there to witness it or not.

Let's not talk about that...

Gundham forces what's left of the crust of his toast into his cheek and mutters around it. "I don't know. Perhaps karmic retribution?" You harm me, I harm you. "Repayment of debt?" You help me, I help you. One of those two. "Or maybe I'm understimulated." That's meant to be a joke, but the deathly serious look on his face doesn't show it properly.

Kazuichi hangs his head. Of course, in many ways he knew this would come up eventually. How could they possibly be normal when every relationship they've had is anything but? He just hates thinking about it – he doesn't want to feel the way he did before. He accepts restriction because he's scared he could be so easily influenced back to that mindset. Everyone has someone to keep them stable and accountable, encourage them to continue forward, yet Kazuichi didn't think he could name who that person was for himself. "Can't say I wouldn't deserve it." Truthfully, though, he can't stand the thought of Gundham despising him. He hates to think anyone would feel so negatively about him. But if he is to be punished for everything he's ever done, he can think of no one better suited for the position. Even if it felt horrible to do everything he did, the fact remains: the blood was on his hands, and whether he was sick or not didn't matter in his own head, as hypocritical as that would make him. He groans, trying to bury his discomfort with an annoyed sound. "Whatever your reason, it just doesn't make sense why you'd bother." There is no debt between them and, if anything, he should be the one grovelling at Gundham's feet, begging him to allow the past to be the past. He should be the one offering to help however he can.

The only thing standing between Gundham and backing down is his keyfabe, the fantasy he's using as a buffer, his need not to contradict its existence. "I'd like to bear witness, because..." Perhaps if he starts, he will need a reason to finish and will thus find it. He thinks over it for a second, and then he raises a hand to his face again, hiding one eye behind a clawed hand and pulling a grimace, "...Your iron body renders my fae-driven power unstable." He can't think of anything. Even if he felt capable of telling the absolute truth, he still isn't sure it would fly as an excuse. Compose yourself, Tanaka! "...If you gather information about the Dream, you may be able to assist in the Awakenings, right?" As if he gives any extra shit about Ibuki or Teruteru or anybody else, beyond the painful fondness that comes with being brothers in arms many times over through the serving of many causes.

Kazuichi decides to ignore how gay that all makes his reasoning sound. "...yeah, probably? Well- theoretically ." At least this was a topic he could actually settle into. Though to hear Gundham care at all about anything he is interested in is kind of new, "I mean, it'd be cool and interesting, but the amount that we can actually meddle with everyone would probably not be too much. Since meddling is what made them trapped in the first place, there's no guarantee any amount of knowledge or new code would speed up the process. And we're dealing with actual lives here, so it'd be way too risky to do anything drastic without being sure. Mess around too much and..." Perhaps Kazuichi is just talking himself out of it, but he is genuinely concerned that trying to help would just lead to death. They'd all agreed that since people started emerging without any interference, it was probably best to leave them be until they found the way out themselves. He doesn't catch the look Gundham gives him. It's for the best.

"Then until you are in the stages that would endanger the lives of your fellow soldiers, it's your duty to persevere in the direction of this great terminus. Who's to say the story will remain the same once more information is uncovered? What, if should the solution be lying just beneath the depths you are willing to plumb?!" He's only a few crumbs from having cleared the plate entirely. Gundham mops them up with a touch of his tongue to a fingertip and swiping it around the edges where they've pooled, not making eye contact as he acknowledges, "It's as providing service to the natal reptile is - most often, if they can not carve their way from their shells, they will not thrive, even with as much assistance as one can manage to provide them. "But in my recollection, the moment I...the moment it dawned upon me…it was only a decision, then. No labyrinthian enigma. It was if I would like to return, or if I would not, and I decided that to breathe once again on my own would be my goal, and so it was."

"That's kind of what it was for us too." A choice. Kazuichi isn't sure anyone would say no to that, but...it's not like ignoring the fact that it isn't real means you don't get to be happy. Frankly, if he was making the choice alone, if what he'd been experiencing in the Program was or somewhat normal...he can't say for certain he would have willingly chosen to leave. "I can't say you're wrong though. It couldn't hurt to look more into it. Even if it brings up nothing...it'd still be interesting..."

Gundham opens a palm and flourishes it at the end of an outstretched arm, in no direction in particular. "Then haste for as long as the fickle goodwill of your God lasts. Once, its records only kept still upon the most ancient of vellum, the Steel Man and I became close enough to know one another's weaknesses. His returning hence is long coming, its consequences still inscribed upon my innards."

"Right-...but right now? Are you physically up to that?" Walking around after waking up takes the body some getting used to, but...he wouldn't put it past Nekomaru to have been giving Gundham physical therapy. Probably for the best. Kazuichi shakes his head as if dismissing his own question as he stands up. "If you want to, I guess." He really didn't get why he was so interested in the first place, his gut feeling a terrible one, but he shouldn't doubt anyone. Even if it felt weird, he should accept Gundham being nice to him. That is what he was trying to do, too.

"You doubt my stability now of all times...interesting strategy," Gundham teases, taking rodent-inventory - there's a little wet spot at his hip that shows for sure that there's one there, still, at the very least. He pats around for a second and then nods curtly.

"I just want to make sure you won't pass out on me," Kazuichi says as he motions for him to follow. It's odd, but none of this feels unlike either of them. Not that Gundham wants to give him a choice in participation. Even so, having someone be just as enthusiastic feels…comforting. Perhaps it won't be so bad.

Chapter Text

The two of them make their way down the hallway, not bothering to be very subtle about their conversation, even after Kazuichi's worry about how looking into any information on their own would be. The building is a sort of underground complex - built alongside the Neo World Program to house it - and is essentially where they live for now, given that the buildings outside aren't in the greatest shape, and they’re currently barred from using the ferries to access the other islands. The hallways are tight and all the rooms rather sterile and utilitarian aside from the bedrooms, being the only places with carpet. It gives them a ghost of a comfortable aura, just enough to make it even more eerie than if they were more like hospital rooms. They’re still lit just as uncomfortably, though - automation of the locks and lights makes the routine much easier to stick to, but the only way to get any natural light is by going outside. "Can't say I've talked with Alter Ego myself, but they're an AI, so it shouldn't be too hard," Kazuichi says as he leads them. It really feels like he's doing something he's not supposed to. "They can help if we can convince them to do so, but if they're not going to, then we kinda reach a dead end."

"I have had no bad blood with the Maiden, even for all my requests," Gundham dismisses.

"We just can't guarantee there's no prior programming that prevents certain information being given or they won't inform the Foundation." That's mostly what he was worried about: being questioned. He had perfectly reasonable explanations, but he doubted he was going to act very calm under the pressure of scrutiny. But who knows, maybe everything would go just fine and this would be, like, a bonding experience...weirdly enough. "Plus...I've only seen other people interact with it, no promises that I can even figure out how it works."

Oh, "Right." It's easier to remember the insides of the program, especially the bits he hated, as 'fake', but the genuine warmth of humanity that radiates off of the original Alter Ego is something that doesn't scream AI to him, even though it most certainly is. Gundham scratches at a cheek and hums. The floor is freezing cold, and he's quickly losing acuity of feeling in his toes through his socks. He's not a warm guy in general, but the supercooled underground lair isn't really helping, either. "I haven't been within the Dome since my arrival," he mumbles, thoughtfully, "and even then my delirium was so intense that my memory of the room itself is likely untrustworthy. But it seemed to be much like a computer interface - a touchscreen affixed to the bulkier machinery?" And he's sort of right - through the doors the huge central column looms with only a handful of pods still occupied radiating out from its centre. It's smaller than he remembered, but larger than it has any right to be, and makes him shiver both at the awe of it and the rush of air-conditioned atmosphere.

"Can't be that hard to figure out." Kazuichi jokes, but he hopes he's right. Truly, a computer can't be too complicated if it has its users in mind. He doesn't seem to pay too much attention to the surroundings, mostly because he's been in here dozens of times and he's gotten fairly used to it all, and instead approaches the screen. He gingerly touches it, testing the waters as he tries to figure out what exactly he'd be looking for only for Alter Ego to appear and startle him to a stop. The avatar smiles at him.

"Good morning, Kazuichi! Can I help you with something?"

It’s weird. He gets that there’s probably a camera somewhere, but it’s still weird that a robot knew him. He glances over at Gundham as if he would have any clue on what he should say before turning to the keyboard. He types out: 'Do you record what happens within the Neo World Program?'

Alter Ego nods, "Makoto wanted to be able to keep an eye on what's happening so he asked me to send him records of what happens," Though, they soon frown. "Unfortunately most of what happened before you destroyed Junko Enoshima was corrupted so I was unable to save the data even after I regained control."

Kazuichi smiles in surprise, his confidence building up again. "Well...that was easier than I thought." He mumbles to himself. Maybe he would be able to figure this out pretty fast. He types again: 'What about more recent ones? Would you be able to project what the remaining participants are doing now?'

"Yes! I'm constantly scanning for any remaining traces of Junko Enoshima and this helps." Half the screen becomes a video of what looks to be what Ibuki is experiencing. There isn't any sound so it's hard to tell exactly what is going on, but Kazuichi grins, grabbing Gundham's arm and pulling him closer.

"Look! Dude, it's right there! We could probably analyse what you went through if there's a backup!"

"If you– if you aren't careful, you'll be mauled!" Gundham warns, being squeezed just above where one of his hamsters sits in the crook of his elbow, and he very easily could have gotten bit - but otherwise fights relatively little, just pulling his arm slightly into himself to attempt to show his desire to not be touched. He grimaces further as the screen shudders like a handheld camera stuffed under a duvet. There's the flash of an arm and a light that takes over the screen as the viewer adjusts as well as they can to the spotlight shone on them. The crowd is still shrouded in darkness beyond the light’s reach.  Gundham shivers. He didn't think it'd be like that. Maybe a log or two in text that would show in some techy language that he had done this, and then that, and then the other thing, in this order, and at these timestamps, not…this. "Seems that way," he's suddenly a little nauseous again, "...You know, to look through the lens of clarity held eternally to my unblinking eye may scar you if unprotected."

"Now who's worried?" Kazuichi teases as he finally lets go to get back to the keyboard. Why had he ever put this off? It was so simple yet so fascinating at the same time. One day he'd have to take a closer look at all the code, but right now, he couldn't be more excited. "It'll be great! Actually, I am really curious to see what a time loop looks like...it'd be so cool if we could figure out why you saw that too!" At least one of them is getting into it. He types again: 'Do you keep backups of the participants who have already exited?'

Alter Ego tilts their head. "Of course, but those are stored externally, so it would take longer to access. Would you like me to retrieve some?"

Kazuichi hums with thought. They would all have to be analysed in this room, wouldn't they? There aren't really any other computers on the island - at least not any with this level of processing power - that still turn on. He could make one, but...it would be a lot of work, especially without all the right parts, and would probably come off as suspicious. He’s not exactly allowed to be working with most powered implements as it is now. 'Could you start by getting any stored information on Gundham?'

"Alright, I will retrieve the data from Gundham Tanaka!" The avatar smiles wide, mimicking a determined look. "Connections have been much slower since the Tragedy, so please be patient."

He ends with a ‘Thank you!’, making an excited noise as he looks over at the other. "I can't wait! This'll be so cool, and you'll be able to figure out what isn't real!"

The loading throbber on-screen teases the both of them for a long moment, making it impossible for Gundham to do anything worthwhile except look at Kazuichi while he speaks to him. Arms free now, he crosses them over his chest and stands up straight, hoping to give himself an extra boost of confidence. It's sort of like having your dreams broadcast back to you over a screen…with an audience. An audience of 'guy you've had a crush on since basically meeting' and 'the worst guy remaining on the planet', who both just so happen to be the same god damn guy. But at the same time he can't say he's not interested - his own memory fails him, especially when compared to the relatively crisp imagery that'd been shown from Ibuki's example. He remembers pieces and blurs, feelings, moreso than images. Intuition, rather than observation. And he absolutely doesn't remember any of it in what seems like any chronological order. "I should have made sure you were equipped with timekeeping implements and scrolls aplenty…" he mumbles.

"I've got a fine memory, okay?" He says that but still produces a pen from the depths of his pockets, waving it in Gundham's face. Gundham snaps at the pen like a wild animal, teeth bared. Good thing he has other stuff to pour his attention into. There's a series of flat tones and then a sub-display appears; A very, very long list of entries, recordings segmented and stored. By what metric they've been split, he can't tell - they don't seem to be in even increments of time, as some are longer than others, and their names are all nonsense to him, with Latin characters mixed in. If they say anything in English, or any other language, amidst the other odd labels, he doesn't know. Kazuichi might, but he's not going to ask.

Hesitant, he decides to simply…tap on the very first one.

There's more loading in tense silence before the image shows - the edge of the hatch he'd dropped from into the elevator's shaft, a dusty hand shoving it open and revealing the bright light of the lobby below before he swings his legs over and drops, dramatically, to the floor. He remembers being proud of that. Thankfully, his inner monologue doesn't seem to be accessible from this screen, if at all. The scene plays out as he remembers it. The Steel Man's artificial jaw wags. The only indication that Gundham hadn't been absolutely stoic is the slight shudder to his vision and the darting of his eyes when Nekomaru finally rushes at him like a great metal bull. He backs out of the recording before impact and continues to the next one in the sequence. It's almost exactly the same. The third follows, but he's not willing to watch it through to the actual end - surely they can find another loop that isn't as… gory. He scrolls until about a third of the way down, touches another filename, and waits for it to load. The next thing to witness is a brief foray into a relatively more relaxed scene - Kazuichi is sat on the floor of the motel with a screwdriver and an array of little machine parts. He's not the only one there: the others who'd stayed out of the hospital are sat around exchanging findings, including Sonia, who's looking slightly uncomfortable while Kazuichi looks back and forth between his work and up at her. This is not one he's willing to watch to the end, either. He'd love to scroll back and see how the first transitioned into this one - or between any others - but he's flustered enough that he's just going to keep scanning. If Kazuichi wants to take over after, he can. He probably won't throw a fit.

"Ah," he mumbles, "here." The next one is one of his memories of the party that he'd been talking about earlier. The image is quiet, but it shows clearly what he remembers happening. Chiaki kneels beside the crawlspace and puts her hand on the lattice, gestures to Gundham to join her. He does, leaning down and getting on his hands and knees to look underneath into the dark - the sky is in vivid sunset, casting shadows so harsh it's almost impossible to see, but he's doing his best. He looks back up at her, and Chiaki has a placid smile on her face. His gaze wavers - he looks between the lattice and Chiaki. He doesn't remember this part. The Gundham in real life raises a hand to touch his earlobe as the Gundham whose eyes view Chiaki raises a hand and shifts slightly. The look on her face stays fluid while the rest stutters and pauses. The fast-moving clouds in the purpling sky suddenly halt. Gundham looks at his hand still in the dust and grabs hold of the lattice and shakes it, like it might give way if he forces it. He looks up at Chiaki again. It's dark out. The palm trees are eerily still. Only her hair continues to sway in the wind. She's saying something, an innocent finger raised to the corner of her mouth, head tilted slightly, questioningly. And then she's gone, and his earring is in hand. He turns it with his thumb, delicately, and then, after a moment of hesitation, the clip abruptly ends. "I..." he takes a breath, "believe this is where I... took notice?" And very quickly turned down the idea of moving on, apparently, since they're only about a third of the way down the folder. "I imagine the next one is similar…?"

Kazuichi glances over at him. One of the most annoying things about humans, he thinks, is the fact that you can never know what they're thinking unless they tell you. He can't be sure, but he gets the feeling Gundham is uncomfortable. Kazuichi shoos his hand away, scrolling through the files himself. There's a lot of them, perhaps to reduce the possibility of important things being lost or corrupted. He'd love to know how Alter Ego decides to split them up or if each one is simply what Gundham experienced as 'a day' regardless of length. "Either you took a long time to come to terms with it or you knew something was off and couldn't figure out what." He observes from just how long there is between that incident and the bottom of the folder. 

"If I recalled what vile bloom took root in me at that exact moment, its blight would be inescapable." He can infer - and he's come to a similar conclusion that Kazuichi has - but something about these moments don't stick in his head. Either way, he doesn’t feel like it’s so simple.

Kazuichi can't really tell from just a glance at a file’s thumbnail what the memory entails, but from the brief looks he catches on Gundham's face, he probably recognises at least some of them. "Do you know if all these memories take place on the island or are there some other places thrown in as well?" He starts going one by one, perhaps skipping one or two on his way, hitting many more memories than Gundham had when he was in control. Thumbnails flash by. Many of them that repeat often are ones he recognises as on the islands - sometimes twenty, thirty, fifty or more times in the same situation. He waits patiently for Kazuichi to stall over another one which he can tell at a glance the location of, and reacts quickly, for the ones outside of the island seem to have far fewer repetitions to them. 

"That one is of another realm." The thumbnail has a blurry image of an older woman. A hamster nibbles at Gundham’s cheek, trying to distract him from the cold sweat that breaks out over his skin. He leans into it and sets his jaw tightly, teeth clenched together. "The scrying reveals the moment I begin to doubt the idyllic scenery, perhaps?" That doesn't explain the one with Nekomaru at the beginning, but it certainly makes some sense here and now to him, because the stolen and heavily altered memory footage of his mother, reclined calmly, bottom half under the kotatsu and upper half outlined against the bright snow outside the window is pushing one of the dogs' faces away from her own with a laugh while the others run circles around the table, taking their turns barking and stuffing their noses where they don't belong. It’s so otherworldly that only moments into the scene it begins to fall apart, jittering and stuttering, until it breaks entirely.

Kazuichi glances over at him as the video plays. He's not entirely sure what it is exactly, but something about Gundham's face reads to him as discomfort. "...you know, if you're not against it...I can go through these all myself. Figure out how to get sound out of them?" Yes, he'd like to stay up all night viewing hours of footage and call it research, it's the perfect excuse to not go to bed, but he's being nice to him right now so...it'd be rude to do it without permission.

…And Gundham's not as distressed at that idea as he thought he would be. There's a lingering feeling that he ought to at least be present to explain some things that aren't readily apparent to an outsider. And there are the things likely wrapped in there that he's taken some minor pains to keep hidden, but…he's not the type for embarrassment, generally. With enough prodding, most things about him - albeit with a coat of black paint more often than not - is free for any who may be interested to view, though he doesn't kid around when he says it could be caustic. But doesn't this blade in particular plunge a little further into the joints of his carapace than his mind's barrier is allowing him to comprehend? He's aware of himself being not… fully lucid, on the exact consequences of this consent. He scratches the top of the head of the hamster at his jaw while he weighs the question, numbly. No decision is made within his mind palace. "You phrase your wish with such carefully chosen words such that I have no ability to disagree." He looks down at him and narrows his eyes, "I am not against it. But it is akin to laying out one's warplan for the enemy general, isn't it?" This is, like, weirdly intimate, right? "For the hope of the land our kingdoms rest upon it's a small sacrifice of mine , but it could irreversibly damage you."

Kazuichi playfully rolls his eyes. "Oh please, I doubt it's that bad. If most of it is just stuff from the island then it's nothing I wouldn't vaguely know about." He doesn't seem to consider the fact that he might see certain paths one might deem private, nor the possibility of learning an awful lot about Gundham without him present. He's thinking about it as a research project on how the program works, taking notes on the patterns he ends up discovering among the set, and hopefully later comparing them to another person's. Is he particularly interested because of whose mind he's essentially viewing? Perhaps in some ways, but it's not as if he can consciously admit that. This is just the only person he has permission from and therefore the only viable possible waste of his time data set. Obviously. "If I had any weird dreams recorded I'd show it to you for equivalent exchange or whatever, but you need more sleep than I do, and hopping around like this isn't going to give a full picture on how it works." Will he judge Gundham if he comes across something weird? Totally, but his intention is far from blackmail or getting to know him .

"I spent ten minutes weaving a spell upon you to guide you to this conclusion and now you finally repeat it–with great intensity!–just to dissuade me from my better interests?!" Gundham hisses, "Despicable." He's fully aware, painfully so, that Kazuichi is of two minds joined: one that desires nothing but information, and one that simply can not force itself not to be deliriously affected by the information it receives. He huffs. He was willing to die for these people. To corrupt them eternally with the tendrils of his evil soul...this is no different, is it? The outcome is no more intense than the one he had already experienced. "Use whatever shreds remain of your judgement in metering your exposure. It could extract your roots, permanently, from the leyline we share. But you will not be rid of my curse." He rubs his once-bandaged hand over his upper arm, easing the goosebumps. "...What's your plan now?"

Maybe Gundham was looking at this a lot differently than he was. Was he worried...and what the hell did he mean curse ? Kazuichi might not be a great communicator, but he was usually way better than this! If he had a problem, he should be way more straightforward about it! Kazuichi gives him a confused and offended face, "I've got no clue what you're talking about, I was just going to sit here and comb through all the files for any patterns until someone kicked me out."

"Then your sacred duty will be safeguarded by your Lordship." Gundham gives him a half-assed bow of his head before turning to leave. He might have technically said he'd 'keep guard', but he doesn't - he departs and stands around at the door for all of three minutes before he decides to make the most of his freedom, wandering the rest of the compound. At least the hallway is a little warmer. Plus, staying on the move will keep Nekomaru off of him for longer, as long as he's careful about where he lets himself be seen. He gets almost another half hour of alone time. Whether Nekomaru believes him or not, he doesn't exactly lie when he says that ‘his and Kazuichi's interests had diverted just a bit too far to reconcile for the rest of the day’. There's something that's needs to be accomplished elsewhere, though (he hasn't been paying attention well enough to Nekomaru's schedule, which he'd rather not admit aloud if possible - he's had enough already of his foggy mental state, despite having only lived in it a few days), because Nekomaru lets him alone by noon. 

It's for the best, anyway, if he’s alone. His hamsters need sleep, he needs a solid stint of meditation, and he needs to resign himself to spending the rest of his day digging through what remains of the emergency supplies for a set of extra clothes that will fit him–a lofty goal, as his demonic blood demands he order far-off giant's robes, and anything that would hang off of him has already been claimed by Nekomaru or reserved for the Nameless One, should they wake–and needs to search for something else to occupy his time. There's a notebook. A couple of research tomes. None relevant, all from the Old World, and none on topics that would normally interest him, but they're different enough from the reality now to keep his interest as if they were meant to be fantasy from the beginning. It's promising. 

They're gathered for dinner with the group before he's through reading and taking notes on the history of ‘informational networks’. If just the one takes him all day, or maybe more, maybe he has a somewhat reliable way to keep himself entertained without having to speak with anyone or brave the sun quite yet. Over the meal, Gundham is seated too far from Kazuichi to do anything but stare at him and try to get him to notice the scowl on his face and approach him later. Which he doesn't do. Which is fine. He'll be alright. That night is, however, the first one Gundham is allowed within his own bedroom for the night and he finds for certain that the doors lock at a certain hour. Or at least, his does? No matter. They could not hold him if they tried, but he decides to respect the wishes of his peers and remain in his den until morning rounds release him and his weapons from the prison that binds. He'll have to ask around and find out who's in charge of that and have a chat with them sometime.

***

Kazuichi had not emerged from his place at the computer for anything other than dinner (which Alter Ego had to remind him to do). Honestly, going through hours of footage was a welcome change from his daily routine and even a great distraction from his usual sleep. In that time, though...he isn't sure if he'd really uncovered much. He'd figured out how to get the sound out of the videos, but it gave no insight into Gundham's internal monologue. There were brain scans and rather in-depth event logs that if he knew more about either field he might be able to interpret, but at least being able to hear the conversations as an outsider would makes it easier to figure out what was going on.

One thing he did note was that there seemed to be two reasons a scenario would move on to a new one: both parties (usually Gundham and one other person) involved seemed satisfied with the outcome, or whatever happened was so severe that it seemed the program feared continuing the scenario would only push him further into despair. So, essentially, Alter Ego seemed to be fulfilling their original directive by inspiring as much hope as possible before presenting the participant with the opportunity to leave. That made sense. He couldn't say it was the most interesting thing in the world, but understanding why this was happening at least satisfied his curiosity. Aside from coming to that conclusion, he'd begun writing out a timeline for Gundham to help him put his memories in order. He wasn't sure it would be helpful, but it was another thing for him to do so he didn't see a reason not to. Still, he wonders what he was going on about right before he left. Gundham hated repeating himself, especially for Kazuichi, so there’s no point asking, but it was still weird. 

They don’t see each other again until Kazuichi's sleep deprivation becomes too noticeable for him to ignore - sitting in attendance for breakfast with the most sugary, caffeinated beverage he could find while still looking like he was going to fall asleep any moment.

"Scarred, then, are you?"

"Hm?" Kazuichi looks up to see Gundham beside him, nothing but a juice pouch in his hand as he slips into the seat beside him. "Oh-...no no, most of it was pretty tame," He yawns, rubbing his face before downing more of his drink (based on the trash beside him, he's already on his third), "Actually! I did figure a few things out." He grins as he hands him a notebook. There's a list dedicated to his makeshift timeline as well as scribbled down details he noticed while watching and a final, underlined note to remind himself where in the files he got up to. There are also smaller notes all around written in English with noticeably less neat handwriting, like it's intended to be difficult to read. He stares at Gundham as he scans the pages, a proud look on his face even if overall what he figured out isn't impressive.

Kazuichi points to a note titled ‘original objective’. "That's what Alter Ego's doing right now, I reckon. Makoto set that place up to essentially remove despair in a controlled environment, so that's what the time loop was doing for you." Now why it's a time loop and not just something like it was originally intended to be eludes Kazuichi, especially with his sleep deprived mind. He wouldn't consider it having anything to do with Gundham as a person, but he's glad to figure out what he has so far. "Cool, right?"

Gundham stays quiet beyond a slightly frustrated sounding grunt as he leans over the pages. The rest of the notes look a lot like his own, even down to the specially-created shorthand - albeit Kazuichi's are in, literally, a different language. One that he can't read. He looks carefully over what he can get out of the documents as they're flipped past in front of his face and hums thoughtfully, "Mm...and so it must have continuously failed, then, to navigate the labyrinth." He taps the side of his head–trying to start giving Kazuichi some nonverbal cues to go off of–and then moves to flip the pages himself, reaching over and helping himself to go back for the information he's most interested in: that timeline.

"Maybe," Kazuichi rests his head on his hands, taking in a deep breath but keeping one eye open. "That, uhm..." he furrows his brows, gesturing to the timeline in a way that suggests he's forgotten the word, "That...isn't done yet. I didn't check how far in I got but I'll have to add to it when I go back and continue." Only to then rest his head on the table. Kazuichi has this ability of sorts where it seems he can easily lock into a task and not worry about anything else for hours, but the second he pulls away from it he remembers he's human and he needs to do things like sleep. If he hadn't left the room he'd be far more chipper, but he figured he shouldn't miss the tradition of seeing everyone for breakfast, which also means his body has finally caught up to him. "You're kinda right though...some of those events were out of order so I might have to shuffle it around when I go back...that's good enough for now..."

Gundham sends him a glance while he tries to make sense of what has been laid out so far. He nods, quietly, but gives him an unamused look, rolling his eyes as he opens a palm upon the table to allow a little shambling beast out of his sleeve. His Devas have been gone a while now, but their bloodline persists. For now. He's not going to be able to keep it up unless they get new blood. He doesn't imagine Makoto's going to ship him hamsters, and…well, he's traumatised his beasts quite enough, allowing them to inbreed just so he can keep their species around a bit longer is a selfish deed he's not going to allow himself to do, not anymore. The hamster waggles its way out of his sleeve with a little difficulty (the shirt's a little tight and the hamster is a little chubby) but once it's finally popped out, it starts right away on its telepathically communicated mission: snuffling around Kazuichi's arms and face while they’re within reach. "You say 'tame', but my recollection is mostly–..." Gundham was going to say despair, but he can surely find something better than that, "Unpleasant. Be thankful for the ward about your heart." Even reading it all in 'order', it doesn't ring any bells. No immediate recognition sparks in him or anything. It just sort of continues to blend together into an anxious haze.

"Maybe it's different cause I didn't live through it..." Kazuichi shrugs. Which is true, watching the point of view of someone is much different than actively experiencing it yourself, and every dead body Gundham saw were usually ones he'd seen before, too. Either that or Kazuichi hadn't really let his emotions get in the way...or he was a bit desensitised? Still, he hums as the hamster crawls on top of him, a small smile on his face and a mumbled hi as he feels the soft, warm ball against his cheek. He might not have really shown it in the program, but he is actually kind of fond of the little guys. There's no denying they're cute and, in many ways, he understands why Gundham likes being around animals so much. That doesn't mean the hamsters always like him, though. Kazuichi's eyes slowly open to watch the hamster crawl across his arm, glancing up at Gundham for a long moment. He doesn't dare reach out to the creature. He'd like to, but it almost always ends in him getting bit and he's too tired to deal with that right now. "...these ones have names too, right?" The hamster scrambles up over his face, and then down his shoulder, snuffling back and forth. Down his upper arm, scratching and looking for a place to infiltrate.

"Wandering Crusader, Dark-Serpent Yurei, one of the high-powered spirits wrenched forth from the black realm to wreak havoc," Gundham confirms, "descendant of the wisest soldier I have ever known." Yurei wouldn't bite him. Probably. But she doesn't seem to want to be pet, either, more interested in getting little hands, nails, and teeth all over everything. Really, Gundham's been quite convinced over time that Kazuichi messed with his more aggressive hamsters on purpose as some sort of power play, or something.

"Is that the theme for them..." Kazuichi nods. It isn't hard to tell that the names of his hamsters always followed a trend each generation. It’s...what is it? He knows it's something, but the word won't come to him. Maybe he really is too tired.

"...Spirit energy," Gundham mutters as a confirmation, picking up his scarf's edge and lifting it over his mouth. Not that he needs to hide anything, it's not like Kazuichi's watching. Any time spent with his eyes open is spent vacant and distant. "Malevolent energies that once recognized will stop at nothing to eliminate all mortals who've dared to attempt a glimpse at their true forms. When the reckoning comes, you will be at the top of the list.” He glances over at him. Perhaps his rambling is wasted on him right now. "...Relegating the task to you may have been the optimal stratagem, if you survive.” He decides to continue their previous discussion, instead. It may be more fruitful. Besides, it’s - weird, for Kazuichi to have asked, right? He didn’t care about that sort of thing before.

Kazuichi yawns, turning his head into his arm. "I'm good at this stuff. You don't have to relive it, I get something to do. It all works out." There's a long pause, like his brain is slowing down in real time. "I'll live. I'll get back to it...smash out the rest… It'll be great. Tedious work, but that's what I'm into...scanning through stuff and just...hm..."

...Gundham gets down to his level, too, setting his cheek on the cold tabletop and scowling in his direction. "The flickering torch of your soul wanes its intensity in front of my very eyes."

Kazuichi laughs, opening his eyes again for them to look at each other. "No, I'm doing great ." It's hard to tell if he truly believes that or if he's being sarcastic. Gundham takes it as sarcasm for the health of his own heart, for however long it may still secretly power his form. This may not be long, though, judging by the way it rattles around within the charred cage of his remains in response to the next sentence. "If your eyes are always dark, I'll be just fine." He says that but makes no attempt to move and actually assert to his body that now was not a time for sleep, or to explain. He's too comfortable, even on the hard table. Not to mention...he likes this. His brain has no capacity to be truly annoyed, so it feels a bit easier to talk to Gundham. Everyone knows it's rare to have any of his hamsters on you for any reason, so he can't help but feel a little… Gundham takes a deep breath as inconspicuous as he can to try to slow his heart’s racing down. What's that supposed to mean? He holds Kazuichi's gaze unwaveringly, waiting for him to blink first. (Looks like he ought to, his eyes are red and irritated from being up and staring at screens for so long, presumably.) "Besides...saying it like that makes it sound like I'm gonna die and not just fall asleep."

"Upon the slab of sacrifice and beneath the Devil's twin eternal blades? You jest."

"You have to stop being so..." Kazuichi’s sentence trails off, a brief flash of something negative on his face. Like he's not thrilled about the word that had come to mind. He glances down at Yurei for a distraction, forcing himself up with a deep breath. She's had enough of finding the end of his sleeve and has started to nibble her way into his jumpsuit. He rolls down his sleeves to give her actual entrances, presenting her with one of them, and lays back down. "If you're going to climb inside, don't ruin my clothes to do it." He watches the hamster, laying his arm as straight as possible to give her space to actually move around. "That's weird." He can feel fur and claws move up his arm, looking back over at Gundham. "Kind of ticklish...I don't think I'd be able to get used to that." Her little feet are surprisingly cold in contrast to her warm belly dragging its way up his arm. 

Gundham continues to stare as if the rules of their game had been explained plainly. He still intends to win. It doesn't take very long for Kazuichi to blink and make him scoff and preen a little, "If it were any other era I would prohibit her from breathing in the gaseous cloud that surrounds you, but since the cleansing, you've been less acidic to the delicate tissues. In fact, you may now be blessed with the tincture responsible for the dissolution of all worldly ties... Once you know of it, you will be forever changed." He teases before pressing his palms on the table. "Now. With your reignition: prostrate yourself before the whim of the evershadow!" He's up suddenly, and not just sitting - he's standing and bellowing, "Chart your course!"

"Dude, stop, that's way too loud..." he grumbles but still sits up and stretches his back. Gundham is right, it's better if he goes to bed now...but damn it, he'd much rather go back to watching logs while slowly losing his ability to comprehend what was going on! It takes Kazuichi a second, but he does manage to push himself to his feet. His body feels heavy and he has the urge to just fall back into his seat as he cradles the arm Yurei is climbing to avoid harming her. "...fine, but you either have to come with me or get your...get her out." Not that he waits for him to do so, already walking (albeit not very fast) towards the door to find his room.

Gundham clicks his tongue and takes a second too long to respond, ending up trailing him while making little noises to try to guide the hamster into a position she can be easily retrieved from. It's odd, a bit, to have the roles reversed. He can feel the eyes of their peers upon them as he watches the little lump of rodent round bends and stick its nose into deadends. She scuttles further up Kazuichi's arm, all the way up to his shoulder, and then crosses his back with tiny pinprick claws and hot rapid hamster-sized breaths of effort. For as many times as he's said he'd squish them given the chance, Kazuichi is sure not taking the tactical advantage being waved in his face by Yurei's absentminded shuffling. "...You know, they seal upon the hidden tome pages their greatest evilling spells when comes the sea's commander." He's...just making conversation. Curse his choice of soldier companion for this outing. Yurei is easily in the bottom half of energetic or particularly spry hamsters, but she's also the least likely to get into a fight with a crab on the beach - or make for any interesting conversational topic. 

"Yeah?" It's hard to tell how much information Kazuichi is actually processing, meandering to his room. "I've got nothing to do with none of that..." he mumbles, but he does furrow his eyebrows. "...not super trusting of‘em, though." It's only when Kazuichi is in his room does Yurei pop out from under his collar. He rubs his eyes as he lets Gundham finally scoop her up, who palms her and kisses the top of her head, quietly scolding her for taking her sweet time so purposefully. If Kazuichi were lucid, he'd be much more upset, but as it is, he's got two very viable options: count on him to forget all about this, or convince him later that his memory of the situation is faulty due to exhaustion. No problem. No, Yurei executed her commander's wishes swiftly and efficiently! And certainly, he'll have decided by then if it's cooler to tell him that he'd made him go to sleep or if he hightailed it the moment Kazuichi stopped making sense. Whichever. "...ah...fuck." Kazuichi mutters to himself, sitting on the ground in front of his bedside table as he finally takes out his contacts and lets his eyes rest. He should've done that awhile ago...but hopefully his eyes don't hate him for it. He groans and he finally pulls himself up onto the bed, shoving his face into the pillow without bothering to change or even remove his shoes. "I'm going to be so hungry later." He laments, and for a moment, he's still. Whether he's just enjoying the comfort or is actually falling asleep is unclear until he turns his head to look at Gundham. He looks as if he wants to say something, but the words aren't forming in his mouth. Or, perhaps, he's trying really hard to maintain some kind of a filter.

There's a deep twinge of responsibility that hits Gundham, but he's working on shoving it down. He's watched Kazuichi pass out in dangerous and uncomfortable positions before. He's lucky he's never irradiated himself or set himself on fire while Gundham was completely unwilling to help him avoid such a fate. Besides, there's very little he can do without touching him, and that's not a sin he's willing to commit, so...so he should let him do whatever he pleases and reap the consequences all by himself later. He's already aware of some of them, it seems, so who cares? Before he's finalized his decision there's a shuffle, and Kazuichi's eyes meet his. He squints at him, frowns, and reaches for the light switch. One good thing about an underground facility: no need for blackout curtains. He can break eye contact without being the first to back down. As the room goes dark, he chuckles with evil dramatics and poses in silhouette in the light of the doorway. "Headlong, my friend, into the harvest." Reap what you sow, loser. Not my problem.

...Okay, it's a little more polite than that, but the sentiment is the same.

He leaves the door slightly open. Should the locks be remotely operated, maybe keeping them from shutting will keep them from locking? Not that they likely would during the day - or, Gundham’s doesn't. Either way, maybe if Kazuichi oversleeps, he won't starve. Or maybe he will. It'd be his own fault. (Gundham's not going to feed him. Food is not something he can put in his own hands and then offer to a mortal. He will, however, go clean up the drink cans and scattered evidence of the mess Kazuichi left in the dining room...)

Kazuichi watches Gundham’s theatrics the whole time until he's left to stare at nothing but the dark wall. He can't say he entirely understood that farewell, but it echoes in his brain as he rolls over to find the most comfortable position.

...and he finds himself deeply disappointed to have been left alone.

Chapter Text

Gundham keeps Kazuichi's notebook for the night. He's not especially excited to share with anyone their little project yet, and he knows for a fact that there's more than one annoyingly nosy little bastard living with them currently. And that's only the ones who are awake. If he were keen on exposing their plot, he'd certainly have avenues for exploring the cryptic little notes in the margins...but something about presenting it to Sonia seems especially heinous a sin to commit.

He peeks through the timeline one more time. It seems Kazuichi's seen all evidence for his various crimes and secrets within the Funhouse, at least, but his examinations of it are surface-level. It would be relieving to see Kazuichi take it all so purely logically if it were a finished set of data, but somehow he'd almost hoped that he would have just found whatever he could use to tear Gundham down already and get it over with. Especially when his conclusion drawn so far is what it is: that Alter Ego had been attempting to stitch together the tattered remains of his psyche, and thus, the bits it chose to weave together to form the fabric he's working with now.

The black hole that devours all light in his life should it dare stray near is still there, and so somewhere in the quilt, Kazuichi will likely be shown his desires. What he'd imagined it to be like if he could bend his peers all to his will, if he could speak as he'd like and battle with wits against playful and powerful antagonists. If he could keep them engaged, if he could share. Maybe he'd skim over it, politely, and let Gundham continue to work up the power on his own. Maybe he'd make fun of him for it. Underneath some of Kazuichi's musings over what each 'loop' has had in common, Gundham scrawls a super badass drawing of a hellhound. He meant to write out an explanation, but the words don't come to him as much as just the feeling of knowledge does. It's not something he can say. Or express through art, unfortunately, so instead, the next couple of pages just get some increasingly bored doodles before he sets it away for the night and resolves to return it when he sees him at breakfast or lunch. If Kazuichi is even alive, anyway.

***

When Kazuichi had taken the notebook back the next morning, he'd flipped it open and paused. He had no clue Gundham could draw. He's got some skills as well, but he's better at rigid inanimate objects so he had to say he was a little impressed. He doesn't say that though, the two of them simply eat in silence. "I'm hoping I can fly through a lot of it today." He had no clue how much he had left to go, but he'd remain optimistic. Hopefully it was less than 12 hours of footage...unlikely but the longer he spent cooped up in there, the more people will end up asking him about it and he totally wasn't terrified he'd be treated like a madman. "You're uh..." he stands up, staring at Gundham with an odd mix of emotions. He feels even weirder about him and he hates that he of all people saw him in such a mentally compromised state! (But it's not hate, is it?) Now that he's actually had proper rest, he can't help but feel embarrassed with himself. How friendly he was being with Gundham and how he's fairly certain he would've slept on top of him did the circumstance arise. He calms his thoughts by reminding himself he was going to be like that regardless of who he'd ended up talking to that morning, but even so, he worries that isn't the case. For someone who did whatever he could to pull an all nighter, he sure did hate how his brain acted when sleep deprived. "...you're free to help me." Yet Kazuichi steps away from the table as he says that. "Or not. You look like you need some sunlight." He's already backing out, figuratively and literally. "It's boring and probably not things you want to see. Not ‘cause they're super gory. Just monotonous. Yeah, not your thing at all. Anyway, that's what I'll be doing. Bye."

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck. He wants to bang his head against a wall, is his brain messed up or something? He hasn't been this awkward since middle school. There were so few thoughts in his head yesterday that he could hardly overthink anything and now it's like he's working overtime to bury whatever the hell sleep deprivation had mustered out of him. He thanks himself for not being weirder but... he almost called a guy cute and it's doing a little more than freaking him out. He couldn't be cute, he'd never be cute, and maybe him having that thought in the first place means all his nightmares are justified and there's still despair somewhere inside! So today Kazuichi was going to drown in his logic brain. Fill up as many pages of his notebook as he could and just pretend none of his thoughts from yesterday existed. He'd just been delusional, clearly this meant nothing for any feelings at all! Things could be cute without being anything else! Not that Gundham was at all ever!

"Don't make me retrieve you!" He hears Gundham call to him, but he's far too in his own head to acknowledge or care for it very much. His mind calms a little the second he's sat in front of the screen again, able to focus in on this rather than whatever thoughts decide to deem themselves more important.

More clips, more scenarios. The first of the ones from the 'other realms' begin to be interspersed. Now that he has sound, it's far more obvious the woman must be some kind of parental figure and...frankly it's really weird to hear a prepubescent Gundham. With what he knows about the program however, Kazuichi could probably make some close to accurate assumptions about his childhood given how much there truly is of this time in his life. Almost like he's used a cheat code to unlock his tragic backstory...but Kazuichi is not the type of person to care all that much nor does he really want to psychoanalyse anyone whether he'd be right or not. Without having much of a frame of reference for what's real and what isn't, they skate by with nothing but a few confused scribbles in his notes and being put at the top of the timeline. It feels like a mixed bag of total domestic bliss and years of just barely managing to avoid destroying his mother's life at every turn. It starts as what-ifs of a pretty high caliber, and then slowly devolves into more realistic scenarios. Less frolicking with his childhood pets indoors with good food or having the neighborhood's only boy his age over during the spring and more having the strength not to go whining to his mother when sick, keeping himself under wraps when he's miserably ill so that nobody notices. Still, each time, no matter how well or poorly things seem to go, no matter the gap between realising he's not alive and finishing out the experience, it starts again the next time.

The scenarios are just beginning to have Hope's Peak shuffled into the deck as the afternoon matures. The start of a scenario in which Gundham has his room switched early away from Nekomaru’s dorm to closer to Kazuichi's keeps being shut down and cut short rather quickly, tried and tried and never going anywhere, seems to be the latest loop when a hamster makes a great clatter climbing the touchscreen stand. Kazuichi glances down at their little mottled grey face and red eyes that seem to be trying to convey a terrible omen of what's to come for the poor, poor mechanic. ('Gundham's nearby, by the way', seems to be the message). He frowns, looking over at the time. Is Gundham trying to pull him away or is the guy just bored? "Don't climb on those...the grip must be terrible." He held out the open pages of his notebook to the hamster like a platform. Only when he can successfully remove the creature does he start the next clip, glancing over at the door when their owner finally makes his entrance. "Maybe don't let them crawl around through sensitive wiring." He holds out the hamster, trying to offer it back to Gundham. "I was making good progress before I had to worry about 'em."

"Did I not tell you to dispatch the enemy?" Gundham hisses down at the hamster and snaps his fingers, pointing in Kazuichi's direction. It looks back at him and bristles on the cover of the notebook, little rage-filled eyes shuddering with effort. "Good," he mutters and crosses his arms, returning his attention to the man in front of him. "Shiryo knows better than to do even a mote more than what is asked of them on dangerous expeditions. Enemy territory is to be treated with great respect - not for the enemy's sake, but for ours. You worried about the wrong thing...look. It could strike at any moment! Poised like a snake!" Shiryo jumps forward a few centimetres as if to show that he could, indeed, strike at any moment. Gundham's voice doesn't change in tone, but the topic takes a sharp turn before even allowing Kazuichi to argue.  "I am here to deliver to you ancient knowledge: the powergem you peer through radiates an energy that will decay you given the chance. If you will not put it down, then instead you must be routinely consecrated."

"....powergem...?" It takes him a moment, but the second Kazuichi has any inkling as to what he was getting at, he scoffs. "I'm fine. I told Alter Ego to remind me when dinner started. I don't want to, but I will actually go to bed tonight." It wasn't as if Gundham had never been the one to pull him away from work, but him being here clearly meant he felt obligated to for one reason or another and that made him feel weird. Though maybe they just mutually didn't want a repeat of yesterday. Kazuichi just plays the next video, half watching the tenth repeat of practically nothing happening which he couldn't wait to be over with as he holds the notebook out to him more instantly. "Just take your angry fluff-ball back. I know how painful they can be when they bite so just grab him before my arm starts dying."

"...tch," Gundham looks between the screen and the rodent, and then at Kazuichi, "were you not once capable of erecting titans? How the mighty have fallen. The Steel Man needles me daily, while I still easily have the power to overwhelm him, but you slither by unscathed?"

Kazuichi sighs as he rolls his eyes. He was not going to take even a step into the argument. Frankly, he'd much rather not think about all the rather impressive things he'd managed to build in the past because of all the history with it. Instead, he just rests the notebook with the hamster on his lap as he allows himself to pay more attention to the screen. The Kazuichi there is perched like a gargoyle on the edge of the bed with the ink-end of a pen between his teeth. He says something, low in volume, and offers out a fist that, after a few awkward, shuffling seconds, and Gundham's own voice - which is even more indecipherable, as low as it is - he brushes his own knuckles against. The video Kazuichi laughs and straightens his posture, leaning back and - different from the clip before - hits the back of his head on the shelf just above the bed on the wall.

Gundham in the flesh snorts and reaches a hand out for the hamster, but is stalled when Gundham behind the camera's gaze goes to pick up the pen that had been tossed across the room and steps closer to him. The all too suddenly barely held back waterworks are clear in Kazuichi's face, eyes shiny and jaw set tight while he rubs the back of his head. A set of familiar hands gestures him to sit forward, and then the camera watches while pink hair unfurls from underneath a hat being pulled casually off the head in front of him. Now he can hear his own voice, the Gundham on-screen is projecting quite loudly.

"You see! Naught short of a curse upon you! The energy released in the slightest touch recoils the organic form so violently as to disintegrate it!"

"I didn't...you didn't 'disintegrate' me!"

Gundham pulls a face as they start bickering in the video. "Did you-..." He's not sure where he's going with it except to hopefully suddenly get the real Kazuichi's attention, "Have you any findings?”

Kazuichi hums, pulling his mouth into a line. "Kind of? I'd be able to show you if you got your hamster off my notebook." It is kind of weird watching himself. He'd never heard himself recorded before this so hearing his own voice is certainly new, but it is a strange kind of deja vu watching an event he remembers happening play out in a variety of different ways. Kazuichi gestures to the screen with a small laugh. "The first version of this or so was basically the way I remember it. It's weird, but I'm curious to see how this ends up good enough to be moved on from or so bad it shouldn't be revisited." Though, knowing himself it might be a scenario that remains in perpetual limbo and just never goes anywhere. Which would be boring but also in character for the both of them.

"Nearly so! Your wounds are beyond comprehension." 

"You're so dramatic..." There's a clear sniffle. "...Is it bleeding?"

"Would a crimson snake cause ripples upon a lake of blood?"

"Um... No?"

Gundham reaches for Shiryo, who hesitates, briefly, but then backs slowly onto his hand while still keeping its eyes on Kazuichi. "That's the conclusion you've met, then? That outcomes exist in two states?"

"You know, if your cursed hand was really blowing me away, you shouldn't use it to look for a cut, because what if it power-launches me forward this time?"

The Gundham on screen and in real life chuckle at the exact same time, which makes him frown, immediately, and put his chin into his scarf with a huff while his younger counterpart swats Kazuichi on the back of the head. 

"...in short bursts, an immovable object may be able to slow an unstoppable force."

"Nuh-uh."

"Could you silence them for a moment?"

"Why? Not used to hearing your own voice?" Kazuichi frowns, tapping the screen to pause it. It was kind of nice reliving a more simple time… He does however hold up the notebook, opened to the day's musings. Scribbles about Gundham's childhood he happened to observe, but with how causally they're written down, he's clearly looking at them as either simple facts or things to be sceptical as to whether they are truly real events or not. Regardless, none of them have changed his perception of the man. He was, and forever will be, just a strange kid. "I'm not sure if that's useful to you or not, but it's what I picked up on. I tried adding it all to the timeline too." He watches as Gundham reads over them, leaning back in the chair. "...I would've shown you all that at dinner anyway, you didn't need to come in here."

"And reveal to the opposing forces our blueprints of battle?" Gundham squints down at him sceptically. "No. You will remain inconspicuous, following my lead to bleed into shadow." He pauses a moment. "I, however…believe I have recalled something of use.” His guts are very unhappy about the nerves in them, but...but if Kazuichi has so delicately categorised the scenes and analysed their use case, he should at least share what he's come to remember about the final moments of many - if not all - of them. It might— maybe... it'll help. "...I believe the great deal was continuously stricken down. As may be the reason for the...many instances." He mutters, finally, looking like he's still invested in the notes to avoid eye contact.

Kazuichi raises an eyebrow. "Why would you not choose to leave?" At least, from his point of view, Gundham has plenty going for him. While not as broadly useful, his talent still does good for society, even he couldn't escape hearing about the incredible things he'd done before high school. He's likeable with actual friends and...in that state he probably had no clue about what had happened during the Tragedy, and even then, his role within it was far more minor and easier to detach from. And if he really wanted to get into the gritty details, it seemed like Gundham's childhood wasn't to blame. It wasn't great, but it was far from horrendous. So why would he reject freedom unless his brain just hadn't processed the information it had been given? But then Kazuichi pauses, shaking his head. "...no. I can't say for sure I'd be awake right now if I was murdered in the program." He can see it now: instead of accepting the help of Alter Ego and thus allowing himself to leave, he'd be having an existential crisis. "I guess the better question is what changed your mind..."

"It's nothing short of a miracle that you weren't." Gundham fully dodges the question at first, and then purses his lips tightly, and looks up at him. "...do you perhaps feel cheated? That those of us who spent our leisure within the mechanism were free of death and destruction with consequence, had the program now free of the shapeshifter, and presumably emerged..." He looks for the word for a second but can't seem to find one in his dialect that feels right. "...fixed?"

Kazuichi gives him a weird look, almost defensive. "Why would I feel like that? Being brutally murdered sounds horrible!" Though, if he's completely honest, maybe he is a little jealous. They all did things but if they were put on a scale from bad to worse, he knows exactly where he'd end up falling. And Gundham's right, it is a miracle he didn't die even if he would've been such an easy mark...even if he knows he wouldn't have been a target to begin with when you look at the motivations. Maybe a part of him feels like he should've been murdered. But would the program really be able to change how he feels right now? It's not that he's jealous everyone seems fixed, it's that they seem to just know how to cope and move forward for now yet he feels like the same jackass he always was. "Who cares anyway?" He grumbled as he stood up to avoid looking at him. "We're all alive and well so what does it matter if someone cried because you're gone?"

"Not my point," Although it's certainly an insight that Gundham takes note of, briefly, "The hand of the Maiden of the Machine was clearly perfectly aligned with my sensibilities, to such a degree that minute changes to the reagents of the fluid holding me static were layered and layered and layered - and with great intensity...even though the facsimile of the world could no longer contain me despite their efforts." He frowns, watching Kazuichi turn away, but does nothing but try to explain himself a little further, awkward despite his better efforts. "I understand you didn't even get this treatment, and even I feel...unfulfilled? By the experience." He pauses again, and then, throwing him a bone with a bit of agreement, goes, "Any tear shed is now not only in a different time but a different universe altogether. It needn't hold residence in your mind unless you allow it."

"Exactly, so who cares!?" It's frustrating talking about himself like this, especially to Gundham. Kazuichi doesn't want to think about all the negatives because it's not like they know what that despair even was. Maybe some part of it still lays dormant inside him and if he tried hard enough, it'd consume him once more. "Alter Ego is just a program. It can't magically cure anything. None of us are getting what we need. All it's doing is making it obvious that whatever the hell was wrong with us isn't..." He sighs, frustrated by his loss of words. They'll all move on from this experience one day, it was just a matter of waiting it out. Logically, he knew no one was truly okay right now, but it was hard not to compare himself. Hard to not feel less than in so many ways. "We don't need to talk about this every day." Kazuichi finally settles on as he begins to leave. "...besides, you trying so hard to help me– kinda freaks me out."

Gundham sighs heavily and tries his best not to roll his eyes, very literally biting his tongue and letting him continue as long as he can. Doesn't mean he manages not to scoff, though. This is the treatment he gets for agreeing with him? For trying to connect with him? His frustration is based almost entirely in the hypocrisy of it all - he vividly remembers Kazuichi suggesting he try to engage - or, it is until he begins to walk out. "The moon eclipsed by an owl's great form before the ephemeral eyes of a mouse and he stands to fight, but approached on its own grounds and he flees?! Coward." Gundham watches him go, sitting and taking his spot with the notebook. His hamster starts nibbling on the cover, and he waves his hand and snaps to get his attention and to get him to quit. Destruction of property is not something he'd like to add on top of the current crimes being committed. He lets the clip play through until the next one. Nothing especially damning happens. He and Kazuichi fight playfully a little longer, Kazuichi isn't terribly injured. Gundham remembers the feeling of having just run his hands through greasy hair on his fingers and makes a face. He fills in some spots in Kazuichi's notes with what he meant to talk about, feelings divorced. He figures it being in his handwriting is probably different enough to separate it as speculation - albeit with good authority - rather than observed fact, in as many words as he can muster for the page, in a little circular diagram.

REFUSAL –» REBIRTH –» REALISATION

At least he has more to think about. He's going to see him at dinner, anyway. Maybe by then he'll have calmed down. Gundham makes sure to write down which video Kazuichi should start on next time before he exits out. It's only 'doting' by proxy, but Kazuichi's doing plenty for them all. More than Gundham could hope to on his own, beyond offering his corpse to be used as a scientific marvel, anyway, which he has already done. But he doesn't need any more help here. He hasn't needed any help dealing with Kazuichi in the past, he doesn't need it now. Despite feeling awful, he's also uniquely more equipped to handle these situations than he ever has been, right? This sort of thing is why he's still here. Kazuichi's far from the absolute good distilled out of an animal soul, but he's always had a knack for touching souls in a different league than his own. Usually for worse, but occasionally...

Alter Ego notes the time and pops in to tell him that dinner should be done soon after asking where Kazuichi had gone and receiving an input answer that has them thinking for a little longer than usual. Even a supercomputer has to chew on his words? Really? Feeling admittedly more hopeless and not particularly hungry, he drags himself to dinner. The reminder Kazuichi had set up was never going to get him there on time. Even with minimal hesitation and a long stride, Gundham is far from the first to arrive. The room is actually somewhat chatty this evening, which…as much as he likes to hear it, he knows that the cries of revelry of the simple beasts makes him irritated at the best of times, so while bearing the weight of whatever it is Kazuichi's hung up on, he can't be feeling great.

The seating isn't assigned, necessarily, it sort of just developed as people have decided to sit in certain places, and so he doesn't feel bad at all 'stealing' a seat so he can be not directly beside, but staggered one seat off from Kazuichi. During a boisterous conversation, he slides the notebook back to him across the table as inconspicuously as possible.

Gundham doesn't eat for the first twenty minutes or so, just prepares himself for it. Once the first person has finished and is waiting idly for someone to join them, he kicks it into high gear and shoves what's on his plate down as fast as he can so he can get the hell out of there, comforted a little by the confirmation he won't be the first one done. Which doesn't mesh especially well with the tight feeling in his stomach he has constantly, regardless of what's in it. A couple of people hang around to catch up and talk 'business' after the table is cleared, but Gundham is out as fast as he can and lets his bedroom door fall shut, lets the hamsters out in their normal rotations, and spends the hours in-between blearily picking at textbooks…and not much later, alternating being sat on the floor just outside of and inside the cramped attached bathroom, gagging even long after he's got nothing left to give.

***

Kazuichi is never the first person out of bed, but he's never the last. Despite his attitude, he actually has a strong capacity to stick to a routine. Even more so now that he's having trouble with sleep. It isn't as if he's not used to all the dreams by now, but just because he expects them doesn't mean he enjoys it. The things he'd hear himself say felt so natural and he knew all too well they weren't simply dreams. It made sense his brain used sleep to sort through and rediscover all his memories...but now it seems every morning he wakes up unable to focus on anything but the beat of his heart and the horrific flashes he was forced to relive.

He stares out at the dark of the windowless room. He wishes he could have sunlight so his only idea of the time was not a clock, but it would have to do. Regardless of the time, Kazuichi has no desire to return to bed so he might as well go have breakfast so he can get through more of those videos. It is surprisingly early though. By now the doors are unlocked and there's at least a few more lights on so he might as well. He pads through the cold halls to the dining room and flicks on the light only to jump back and grab onto the door frame with a yelp, noticeably startled. "What the hell are you doing sitting in the dark, man?" Kazuichi doesn't quite yell at Gundham, but he grabs his chest in a way that suggests he was actually quite frightened to see him there. By the looks of it, Gundham has been awake for quite a while, a bottle of water and granola bar sat on the table in front of him as he chews on the straw of a juice pouch. "Turn on a light, that's way too creepy."

The man blinks a couple of times in the sudden light and rubs the bridge of his nose, eventually just burying his face in his scarf and holding a hand over his eyes. Multiple beady sets of eyes all quickly vanish at once, equally disturbed by the sudden light and noise as he is. "My sight is attuned to the nether realms," he explains, gruffly, voice scratchy from a mix of acid, strain, and disuse. ...That explains the 'sitting in the dark' part, anyway. "What are you doing?"

Kazuichi rolls his eyes. "Getting breakfast, obviously." It'd be weird if one day he suddenly didn't show up...but he does also want food so there was that. He walks over to the kitchenette, taking a long minute to look all the food over before putting bread in the toaster and walking back to the table to wait for it. "And my notebook. You still have it on you, don't you?" He'd realised it wasn't in his room this morning so he assumes it'd been left with Gundham. He should be less careless with stuff like that, but he supposes he did leave in a hurry yesterday.

Gundham pales a little bit when Kazuichi re-approaches. He stays quiet a second, raising his brows to give the other time to take his question back as a joke or something. When he doesn't, he shakes his head, incredulously. "No? I sat near you at supper just so I could give it to you. Did you not grab it?"

He gives him a weird look, narrowing his eyes as he tries to remember. "...fuuuuck...dude!" Kazuichi's eyes widen in worry, pulling on his beanie with a groan. "Why would you trust me with something like that! You don't think anyone read it, do you? People don't just go around flipping through random notebooks they find, right?" He whines in his seat and only pulls himself up when he hears his toaster. "We'll seem totally suspicious if someone sees it! I don't want to be like...put on lockdown or something, you think they'd do that to us?"

Gundham buries his face into both hands now, but then pretends as if all along he'd just been moving to pull his scarf up. His rational thought kicks in. Kazuichi is making excuses not to worry, but he's not incorrect - the people around here, while nosy, aren't Future Foundation members. They are not arbiters of what information is revealed and what is not. While they all may be obligated to report such things, it doesn't mean anyone will . His stomach churns. "Would they banish us back to the shackles? Maybe. Would they first need to catch us? Absolutely. Besides, remember, will you, who is the mastermind behind your operation? It was on the table before I left. What happened after I exited the arena?"

"I-I don't know! I don't even remember when you left! I just finished my dinner, hung around for a while until it wasn't weird for me to head to my room!" Kazuichi frowns uncomfortably. He doesn't pay too much attention to what he spreads on his toast, but he does eventually carry the two pieces on a plate back to the table. "All I remember is having dinner then heading to bed! Why would you trust me with something discreet like that!"

"Actually put a second's ponderance into it, will you?! I slid it to you. It was beside your plate. Do you remember that? What happened next?" It's like coaching a nervous dog. One thing at a time. Butter, he smells that. Jam - that'd normally be fine, but the sweetness hits his nose right after having taken a sip of his juice, and suddenly he's feeling like he'd just been force fed spoonfuls of sugar. He waves a hand in front of his face and turns away from the table, hoping for a second that this would be enough, but it's not - he stands up. "Why would I keep pestering you after you'd already expressed an inability to stand within my aura any longer?! Is not my purpose now to relinquish my sadistic ways?!"

"Well you could've just held onto it! Now someone's gonna see my shit and your shit together and they're gonna think it's weird! " It's hard to tell if Kazuichi is just embarrassed by the idea of them being seen as close or if he was purely worried about this making them look suspicious. He groans, a defeated noise, as his head hits the table. He wasn't going to see how the loop of them together ended. He wasn't going to see what finally made Gundham leave and this would all practically be for nothing! "...this one time you're allowed to call me stupid." He grumbles as he tears a piece of toast in two and takes a bite.

Call him stupid? What Gundham really wants to do is go over and slap the back of his head, but that would require touching him, and— And he's also being faced with the horrible ordeal of another ill-timed wave of nausea. He leans against the nearest chair with his jaw clenched shut while he tries to compose himself, but he realises soon that it's not going to work and rushes without excusing himself. He makes it into the kitchen at the very least before making a pit stop at the nearest bin, which isn't as good as he's hoped for, but is enough to at least be out of eyesight before his knees buckle and he's left knelt at the counter, hamsters emerging one after the other to find places on his head and shoulders to perch themselves.

Kazuichi looks at him with a confused and concerned face, following Gundham's movements the whole way. It being so early, each step he takes is clearly audible over the silence of the room which made how fast he was walking all the more apparent. He waits a few long moments, hoping it's just him trying to get some space but even then, he wasn't one to just walk away suddenly from their arguments. The gagging noise is what makes Kazuichi stand up too, cautiously peeking his head through the kitchen doorway which only makes his concern spike. "...are you okay?" A question with an obvious answer but he asks it anyway. "Do you uh...need something? Should I go get someone?"

"Fine, a ritual part of the great affliction. No, stay. " Gundham speaks sternly even before he's assessed the damage, but once he has, he finds that this is the right answer, anyway. He's clean, and so is the kitchen, and the bin was in need of a change before dinner tonight anyway. He nuzzles rodents back into his scarf and stands himself up with as much respectability as he can maintain while he's still making sure he's not about to vomit again. He's alright. The lights in here are buzzing loudly, though, and making him squint. "Don't–" He turns and points at him, voice hoarse all over again but he perseveres. "This is not over. We will be conducting subtle reconnaissance until the artefact is restored. Got it? There are minions of mine around here that wouldn't dare defy me if they knew of my involvement with its creation. Maybe one of them has it and can be convinced."

Kazuichi would've touched Gundham but something tells him that wouldn't go over too well, instead just leaving him to stand on his own. He looks...a little more dead than usual. "Dude..." the concern on his face doesn't go away. "If you're not feeling well, you should go back to bed." He might not know an awful lot about health, but he knows throwing up is probably one of the worst signs. "You should drink some water and rest today, I can figure out where it went if you've come down with something..."

Gundham frowns at him. "Have you been afflicted as well? With a deafness of sorts? I said we will be conducting subtle reconnaissance. You sat between Pekoyama and Saionji last night, so they're first to be questioned. If Nidai, Sonia, Owari or Hinata had found it, they'd surely be more forthright with the consequences..." He goes to gather up the trash bag, but stops halfway and hangs his head over the bin for a second before finally tying it closed. "Komaeda isn't here. Everyone else is easy to read."

"If you've got some sort of bug, I am not risking getting sick!" Truthfully, Gundham is going to be much better at doing this than he is. If someone Kazuichi's close to found it, he'd be able to just laugh it off...if Hiyoko found it, he'd be in absolute hell. But if Gundham really is this sick then he really shouldn't be up and about. He snatches the trash bag from him, glaring like a stubborn child. "You can make your animals do whatever but you need to lay down. Throwing up like that ain't normal - I'll tell Hajime so he can check how serious it is."

"It's not! I told you, it's routine." Well. Sort of! But he listens well enough to be surprised by Kazuichi taking the bag out of his hands. He makes an attempt to snatch it back, but it doesn't seem like he's going to let go, so they just both end up holding it for a second. "Do not tell the enlightened one, I have no way of knowing how it is he will react with my volatile elements." He gives one more yank, just to drive it home, but he is feeling quite miserable and all the energy he'd spent hours gathering to go get himself some water and juice is completely gone now. He's also embarrassed, though, and that does quite a number on his rational thinking. Gundham's glare softens, looking away as he lets go of the bag. "...Take one of them, will you? To be my eyes?" He finally mutters, gesturing slightly to the hamsters still stubbornly on his shoulder.

Kazuichi stares, like he's trying to decide what to do. Throwing up regularly still wasn't healthy, and there's a part of him that only becomes more concerned. If food wasn't agreeing with him to that degree, it would be a problem...should he tell Nekomaru? Did he already know? But then again, telling anyone could lead to Hajime knowing and that would be going against Gundham's wishes. Though, does he really care about doing that? "Yes, I can take a hamster with me." He walks past him to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water and forcing it into Gundham's hands before holding out his palm to one of the creatures - Yurei is rather happy to hop onto his hand and venture up to bury herself in his shirt. Kazuichi can't help but wonder why he suddenly cares so much about his health though. Maybe he feels indebted to him after his bout of sleep deprivation, or maybe he feels like he should be mindful of him and do what he can to make sure he's alright after– …but also maybe it didn't matter. "But I'm taking you to your room whether you like it or not. Something is seriously wrong with you if you're throwing up like that." Once the hamster has settled in on his body, Kazuichi grabs the end of Gundham's scarf and begins walking with him as if he doesn't actually trust him to go to his room.

Gundham holds the water in both hands and then raises it to his cheek, trying to quell the feverish kind of feeling in his face. He looks down at the way Kazuichi uses the scarf as a leash and scowls, planting his heels like a stubborn dog and only moving when he feels it tug at his neck. "Human food is imbued with human toxins, and ill-fitting for a body such as mine. It is as it has always been. If I had more spiritual energy within me now, I would be able to fend it off." He waves a hand, tiredly, like he's casting a lazy spell. Shiryo emerges and looks down the length of scarf connecting the two of them. "You are not needed now. Heel, beast." Gundham mutters to him. The hamster stares a little longer, but doesn't cross the bridge, thankfully. "...Go to Pekoyama first as long as she's alone. Otherwise, Saionji. If Koizumi is there she'll take your side if you approach it calmly and rationally and make no...snide comments."

"I won't! I was just gonna ask if they saw a notebook last night. She's the one who insults me for breathing the same air as her!" Kazuichi grumbles. It's not like he tried getting into arguments with people...Hiyoko was the one who would jab at anyone she didn't like. He looks back at Gundham briefly, loosening his hold but not fully letting go. The silhouette their position creates suddenly felt wrong to him. "You know...if you're allergic to stuff, you can just say that." That's certainly what it sounds like and would explain why he got sick so quickly. Food poisoning usually took longer if his cooking classes were correct. "And if that is the case you should just stop eating the things that make you feel sick. That's just going to make you feel bad all the time. Doesn't sound very overlord-like to me."

Gundham stops walking altogether. "...I prepare my own when it suits me and eat what is given to me otherwise." He mutters. "I force my underlings to create vast meals for me and then I take the power that has been provided. Else my vessel would perish, and you all would be without guidance."

Kazuichi stops too, turning to look at him. He understands the sentiment of not wanting to waste food, but if it's got to do with his health then that doesn't really matter all that much, does it? "...people here are pretty nice. I don't know of anyone that actively dislikes you." He decides to begin, his gaze trailing down to the floor as he continues. "If you can't eat something, you should let people know. We're not exactly in a position to take care of you if your body has an extremely adverse reaction to something. I'm not a great example when it comes to diet, but getting something inside you is better than eating and your body getting nothing out of it. That's the same as starving yourself."

"Whether they like me or not is of no importance." Gundham practically scoffs. He tugs at his scarf, pulling it a little tighter to even out the ends, making the one Kazuichi holds shorter in the process. "If nothing done to me physically so far has killed me, I may truly be immortal to additive effect. You understand this, don't you?" He huffs, "Besides, this is why I'd like to accompany you. If I'm destined to be a part of the great purge all the way until every drop of toxin is exuded from my body regardless of what it is I do in the meantime, I'd rather not sit and boil alive in my own acid." Even if puking in front of people is extremely embarrassing, but he really can hold himself together, usually. He's usually very good at it...!

"I guess, but..." Kazuichi knows what it feels like to go too long without food. He frequently forgets to eat so he could only imagine how much worse Gundham must be feeling hacking up his guts on routine . He frowns uncomfortably, setting the trash bag down against the wall to face the other completely, his attention down at his own hands that fiddles with the end of the scarf. "You're dehydrating yourself by being sick all the time and malnourishing yourself by eating things your body can't process. Do you know how many times I've been lectured about that kind of stuff?" The talk he got was definitely different to the talk Gundham would get, but it was still a similar issue. "If you're not going to just make your own food then you'll just have to tell me everything you should be avoiding."

"I'll take care of it," Gundham says, intending to in some way, at least. If he helps them further in awakening everyone, then Teruteru will be around to be in charge of mealtimes, so it's not that big of a deal. "I thought you thought my scarf was dirty," he mutters, watching him play with the end of it, a sentiment he'd heard a couple of times, especially when they were in...closer proximity.

"...it is." And Kazuichi makes a show of pulling out tiny hairs from the fibre. The same tiny hairs that he's going to be pulling out of his shirt more often if the hamsters take a liking to hanging out on top of him more. "But you definitely shower way more than I do, so..." If he's honest, he exaggerates a lot when he complains about Gundham. Sure, he does stink sometimes, but how often are you around a guy who actively smells like hay at noon? Kazuichi will admit that he's just not terribly used to the smell of animals and, when well taken care of, they actually aren't all that terrible to be around. He won't say it out loud, but he'd grown to like his hamsters a long time ago and could at least handle his smaller and less-likely-to-harm pets. A clean Gundham fresh out of the bath is actually nice to be around...and between them both, only one of them has sweat stains on their white shirts. Kazuichi stands there in silence for a while, rolling the fabric between his fingers. It's clearly old, the ends are discoloured and starting to fray, but it's well taken care of and the texture is nice. He can see why he would choose to wear it every day regardless of weather. But when he finally clears his throat and steps away, he looks embarrassed, turning his back to him as he picks up the trash bag again. "Still. What you're doing now clearly isn't working so if you tell me what makes you sick I can make sure you're not eating it."

"What would be in your power to do, then, Morning Star?" Gundham follows after him once more with a huff of a sigh. They're not terribly far from his room. If he wanted to avoid the conversation entirely, he easily could, but he'd like to...ease into it. See if he needs to back out or get defensive or anything. "Stop me from cleaning my plate?"

"If that makes you more comfortable, sure. I'll start stealing food off your plate so you still feel polite." Which could actually work out. Well...yeah it makes them seem really close because that's the kinda thing good friends and couples do, but it's way better than Gundham getting nothing from eating. "But also...you know...I could organise meals for you." Kazuichi suggests a little awkwardly. "I'm not great but if it helps you eat. Staying physically healthy is kind of a must right now."

The thought makes him nauseous, but Gundham hasn't done so much as sip at his water yet, so he's got nothing to pull up. He pulls his scarf over his mouth and shivers into it. "We usually eat together," he mutters, but they're near his room, and his heart thrums hard enough in his ears that it almost drowns out when he says: "but I believe it was the animal flesh. Fish are fine, and I don't–..." Man, now it sounds like he's weird about eating animals. "...eggs, too. And milk." He hates how long the list is, and that it's not even full, just the main intolerances, but it's all he's willing to divulge. Now that they're in the hall with some of the other rooms, he's especially worried that someone will walk by and hear him, so he gets it over with quickly, pulling open his door. There's a camera out here that he eyes with a glare before he hides behind his scarf again, hoping for a little comfort. It does bring it, honestly. "Anyway. Serve me in this way first before you get too carried away making yourself my slave."

Kazuichi's expression is a weird mix. Not quite annoyance but not quite embarrassment, like he's not sure how he's meant to feel about that. "Don't say it like that! I'm just trying to help you out!" Honestly though, he's surprised. He's seen Gundham eat meat just fine so many times - at lunch and at parties - was he making himself suffer through it or was it more of a preparation thing? Still, that was probably the easiest one he could help him avoid eat. "But…yeah, fine, any meat that gets put on your plate, I'll snatch. Poultry included or just the red meat?" It could actually work out well for both of them. Kazuichi would eat more protein and Gundham could actually go to bed with food in his body. And if anyone asked, it would just seem like his new way of pestering the guy. Hell, if the list aligned properly, Kazuichi could make him eat the things that usually ended up being thrown out.

"Just the red," Gundham says as quickly as he can manage, trying to get this over with already. He closes the door most of the way out of habit, not wanting to accidentally lock himself in, but Kazuichi must take this as means to dote on him further, because he opens it again and peeks in to watch him. He kind of gets the whole 'it's weird when you try to take care of me' bullshit, but this is different, because Kazuichi is odd and mean, and Gundham is at least half angel, right?

Kazuichi lingers a moment, not sure where to really look or what to really say. "...drink some of that water. You definitely need it. If I don't see you up later I'll bring you some lunch..."

Gundham unscrews the lid to the water and pulls his feet up onto the bed, crossing his legs under him. "Please leave." Is the most polite thing he can manage to say.

"Yeah, sure, just get some rest." Kazuichi sighs to himself as he shuts the door and stands a moment in the hallway. He glances down at the trash bag. Well, he better get this thing thrown away. Why Gundham didn't just wash it down the sink was a mystery to him but it gave him his first chore of the day. Before he can start walking through, he shivers as a furry body unexpectedly shuffles across his skin - somewhere along the line, Shiryo had defied his master's will and is now trying to get under Kazuichi's hat while Yurei still hangs around near his waist, perched at the hip. Shiryo pulls at a knot in his hair, making him wince though he doesn't even try moving him. The hamsters had minds of their own, it's probably better he just leaves them to mind their own business. "Well, if you guys are desperate to follow me around...just don't put holes in anything, okay?" He mutters to them, supporting Yurei with his hand out of fear she is going to slip down his leg as he walks.

Chapter Text

By the time Kazuichi returns to the kitchen to put a new bag in the bin, most if not everyone has already arrived and is eating breakfast. Which is good for him, actually, it means he can start asking around for his notebook way easier. He decides to follow Gundham's advice and start with the people who were sitting closest to him last night, awkwardly approaching Peko as she makes tea. "Hey, Peko...I sort of lost a notebook yesterday during dinner...you didn't happen to see it, did you?"

Peko looks at him for a moment, a small frown on her face as she thought. "I don't believe so...is it important?"

"No! No, it's nothing, but thanks. I'll just keep looking for it!" Well great, that meant he had to go talk to Hiyoko about it now. He really hopes she isn't in the mood to be snarky this morning. She certainly isn't as bad as she used to be, but his feelings were still a target for her and Kazuichi did not appreciate it. Mahiru and Hiyoko were sitting at one of the tables, eating breakfast together as they tend to do. He slowly makes his way over, hoping it looks more like he was just passing by and not gunning straight for a conversation with either of them, but he smiles nervously when he gets there.

"Hey uh- I was just wondering if either of you had seen a notebook around here? I lost mine at dinner last night and haven't found it yet..."

Two sets of owlish eyes point in his direction, especially given that Kazuichi is flinching at a hamster neither of them can see bothering his scalp and holding one hip awkwardly for another hidden in his shirt. "Ew...are you okay? You look like you're gonna barf." Hiyoko pointedly ignores the question, the corners of her eyes tightening as they smile while she tries to stifle it on her lips. "Why are you holding your stomach like that?"

Mahiru keeps a keen eye on her, just putting a gentle hand over Hiyoko's bowl to keep her from going for another bite while talking. " Good morning, Kazuichi." She says, leadingly, not bothering to even pretend a pleasant look.

"Good morning, Kazuichi," Hiyoko echoes in the same cadence, although somehow with a twinge of mocking. If Mahiru notices, she doesn't say anything about it as she lets her continue. "How'd you sleep?"

Kazuichi can feel himself die a little inside. This was not what he wanted, he wanted a quick yes or no answer so he could move on to other things. "Ah- fine? I guess?" Not that Hiyoko cares, which is why he looks at her a little strangely as he perches himself on one of the free seats. If she's going to turn this into more than it has to be, he's not going to be standing when he doesn't have to. "You look like you slept fine...but I really am just wondering if you saw my notebook. I had it with me last night at the table but I guess I forgot it? It wasn't where I left it and since you were sitting close to me, I was hoping you might've seen it?"

"Huh...kinda weird that you only ever talk to us when you want something, if you ask me. And even then the very second thing you say is based on how I look." She's very obviously trying to get Mahiru on the hook with the pointed comment, but after a second's analysis, the other seems to deem the comment passable enough. At least, she doesn't dogpile on to the perversion angle.

Mahiru does hum to herself though, "It does feel like I've seen you around less and less. Does Hajime have you working on something?"

"Yeah! What kinda thing are you working on? Don't keep secrets, we totally know that something's up. 'Cus why else would you be spending your time like this instead of crying all night like a sad little dog outside Sonia's door like you usually do?"

"I've literally never done that!" He knows the goal is to get a reaction out of him but he still can't help himself. He honestly can't tell if the hamsters are helping or just making him more irritated. Besides why would either of them care if he talks to them or not, they basically only ever insult him when he tries so what difference does it make. "What I'm doing all day is none of your business. It's not interesting anyway so why do you care?" Kazuichi can hear how defensive he's getting, eager to leave the conversation. " Yes, I do stuff for Hajime and fix things around the place but I also just spend time in my room with my hobbies. Look, if you haven't seen my notebook, you can just say that and I'll go look for it some more."

"...Ew! So what's all that howling coming from you then?! That's even more gross!"

"I didn't grab it from the table," Mahiru very quickly breaks out the diffusal method, but of course it doesn't put the fire out right away. Hiyoko jams her chopsticks between Mahiru's fingers, forcing her to move her hand or get leftover supper all over her palm as the blonde pulls in a mouthful.

"Okay, but I did.” She admits. “I was gonna give you the opportunity to spill it on your own terms, but now you're gonna look like a freakazoid anyway, so thanks for that. Why are you such a stalker?"

Another comment that Mahiru lets slip by unchallenged, just frowns and gives a sharp: "Hiyoko, don't talk with your mouth full, you're going to get food on your clothes. Kazuichi, can you just sit down like a normal person? It's really hard to talk to you like that."

"I am sitting like a normal person!" Kind of . Shiryo is pulling on his hair and Yurei is up against his side probably because of how warm it is, but he was ignoring it so why couldn't she? "Wait, you looked in my notebook?!" He shot his attention back towards Hiyoko. "I'm not stalking anyone, just give it back! You're not supposed to read other people's notebooks!" It's embarrassing for anyone else to have a look at his notes and the drawings that clearly weren't his...but it's mortifying for Hiyoko to see them. She was never going to let him live it down.

"What, I don't have it on me! Why would I bring it to breakfast?! What if someone stole it? Like, other than you, even?" She's back to eating with little regard to the advice given or to the fact she's quickly getting into a shouting match. "I'll give it back only if you tell me what all your little dirty notes in the margins are!"

"We didn't know it was yours! I only read enough to figure out who it belonged to by looking at the handwriting.” Mahiru tries to interject to further diffuse the situation. “I could tell it was a boy's, and then when there was English in it, I figured out whose it was. But it is weird. Also, I think you're spelling Gundham's name wrong..."

"I'm not! His name doesn't use the normal kanji so I'm perfectly right." But the fact that he even knows that is only incriminating him further. "And they're not dirty, just personal observations. You really think I'd write down those kinds of thoughts?" Absolutely not, he'd just say them out loud! Those thoughts were not so private they needed to be in English. Though before Kazuichi can defend himself further, he groans, taking off his hat and trying to detangle Shiryo from his hair. "No- no. I know I said you could hang out there, but you're just being a pain now." The hamster squeaks audibly, loud and long enough to probably be considered a scream, his little hands full of hair that slips from between his fingers as he's lifted up. He quiets down once he's at Kazuichi's chest, though, snuffling around his fingers. "Literally pull at anything other than my hair, it's way too tangled for you to be doing that." Kazuichi huffs before glancing up at the two girls, his face becoming more embarrassed as they stare. "...this one tagged along without permission."

Hiyoko snickers. "Oh, so it's like that? That's dastardly...! Talk all sweet and then stab him in the back!?"

"Is that one of his?"

"Yeah it is! He's still got like twenty of them running around inside his clothes at all times, it makes him look like he came out of a scary movie and has scarabs under his skin. How's it not biting you?" She says that only for Shiryo to bite down on his fingers, the pain clear on Kazuichi's face. Turns out he was just looking for the perfect spot. "Are you gonna kill him?" It's unclear whether Hiyoko means the hamster or the man behind its behaviour, but context does point to the latter, despite the former's terrible attitude.

" No, if I did that, I'd be dead too." Not that he has any desire to kill anyone or anything. It was his fault for taking the hamster away from his fun but Kazuichi's poor scalp just couldn't take it anymore. "Shiryo...come on, can't you be nicer to me like Yurei...you weren't supposed to come anyway." He whines to the hamster as he pats him with his thumb but he's not even sure he listens to anyone but Gundham. As innocent as can be, Shiryo lets go and sniffs at the little pinprick of blood left behind, and then turns his nose to the air and sniffs around like nothing's happened at all. He must like the attention, or the idea of having his dad told on him makes him take pause. Either way, he hesitates, and then stuffs his face into Kazuichi's palm, no teeth this time. He sighs, "Look, we've just been...hanging out a bit, okay? Hajime told me to so it's like that! The notebook is just a thing we're doing together so can we please stop talking about it and just promise you'll give it back and not show anyone else?"

Hiyoko gives him a weirded out look. "...Even I don't have a diary of Mahiru's tragic backstory, that's so weird! What are you, scrapbooking together?"

Mahiru seems to agree to some degree. "Maybe it'd be good for you guys to get your feelings out in a different way? Like go find a game to play, or something. Peko's been trying to find people to play volleyball. That might be less of a downer than...whatever that is."

"Yeah, it's making you kinda cranky, I think! Oh! Y'know, if Hajime told you to write it in the first place, maybe I should ask him what your little notes say, he'd be able to tell."

"He didn't, he just said we should hang out!" He's not even sure there's a way to explain it that won't lead to scrutiny and that just makes him more upset. "Gundham's not well enough to do something like volleyball and he doesn't like sports anyway." That he knows from the fact: unless he was challenged to do so, he tends to avoid any physical activity that doesn't involve animals. But now that he says it out loud...man it is kind of weird he's taken so much notice. "...the notebook is private, okay? Gundham's been having trouble organising his memories so I've been helping him put it in a proper timeline. It's nothing serious and definitely not something everyone needs to know about since he probably doesn't want everyone knowing what stuff he went through as a kid."

There's a couple beats of silence.

"That's..." Mahiru looks sceptical suddenly, her brows furrowing. "Very nice of you, actually."

Even Hiyoko hesitates, like there's a line that even she can see in the sand that makes her take a moment and contemplate how it is she wants to cross it. "Why's he got you on the job? I know you're a total nerd underneath it all, but you aren't all that smart, and isn't him going to you for help with that kinda..." To her benefit, she doesn't say any slurs, even though she clearly wants to. "On the nose...?"

"Does this mean you're going to be more respectful to Sonia?" He hates how hopeful Mahiru sounds as she says that.

"You say that like I haven't changed how I interact with her at all..." He looks a little offended. Kazuichi had figured out how annoying he was being a while ago and he honestly couldn't remember the last time he and Sonia spoke. He's stopped pestering her so much after his role in helping everyone had become more direct and serious and since then it has been dwindling. He still likes her and likes talking to her, but there was more stopping him now. Though that does make Kazuichi pause, shaking his head. "Wait- what does any of that have to do with me spending time with Gundham? I don't know what's on the nose about it, it's not like I know why he accepted my help over anyone else."

"You've mostly just been avoiding her, though, haven't you? Like you've been doing to everyone else?"

"Avoiding everyone except Gundham now that he's awake." Hiyoko all but sings, kicking her feet. She's too tall for her feet to dangle off the chairs naturally now, but she still makes it work with some effort.

Mahiru furrows her brows in concern. "Kazuichi, he's having a hard time with it, but you remember everything pretty well, right? I didn't think you two got along anymore, so it might be sort of irresponsible to write down all this stuff about you guys being such good friends if you're trying to fill in his memories. I think that's more like what Hiyoko is saying."

"No, what I'm saying is don't you feel like you're being pigeonholed a little bit as the manic-pixie pink freak for the big bad brooding brute? Like, what is going on there? I genuinely can't tell who's calling the shots."

"What's going on is nothing at all. He needed some help getting things straight so I figured I could help." Kazuichi had no idea what Hiyoko was talking about at that point. Firstly, he would not describe Gundham as a brute , secondly what the hell did any of that even mean? Nothing about this was a manic-pixie dream girl situation. "Putting it like that makes it sound like I'm manipulating him." Which is the last thing he wants to do. If Gundham wants to hate him, then that's that, he isn't going to force him to like him any more than he already does.

"Basically all I'm doing is writing down what he tells me he remembers and then using what I remember to figure out what most likely happened. We weren't good friends, we just hung out a lot..." Kazuichi looked down at Shiryo as he spoke, knowing all too well that it definitely looks like they were more than just a couple of people hanging out.

Hiyoko gives him an unconvinced look, something she's gotten much better at making look less like a pout and more like genuine scathing criticism. "So you guys are fine just like that? You think I'm gonna buy that the two weirdest guys alive right now aren't, like...I dunno, crying into each other's arms and porking on the side? Plus, if you want weird and bossy, he's like...the top pick, if you're into guys at all."

"I don't think it's that." Mahiru reassures, holding up her hands, "I think Gundham's probably too good for you. I mean, I didn't see a lot of him outside of school, but...I don't think he's a terrible guy. He's got...admirable qualities. I don't know if anybody would really be able to break up his confidence if they didn't have a really good handhold and a strong opportunity, I just don't want that to happen. I know it sounds harsh, but we're really trying to keep things straight around here, all of us together, right? So if you guys need help with something going on in Gundham's head, I don't want to have to rely on Hiyoko sneaking around to find out and be able to lend a hand and make sure you do it right."

Shiryo shoves his face between two of Kazuichi's fingers and snuffles again, audibly.

"Yeah, we kinda already know that poking around in people's heads messes them up pretty bad on account of...okay, all of us, but Hajime especially." Hiyoko shrugs, "So...spill it, why don'tcha? What are you guys really doing?"

Kazuichi groans in frustration. "I already told you! That's literally all we're doing and I'll have you know I haven't seen that guy cry once! Why are you making it sound like I want to date him, I'm just letting him be more open because he has a hard time doing that! It being me has nothing to do with it, it's purely just for the convenience on his part!" He knows that if he tries to explain what they were doing it wasn't going to make sense. But Gundham isn't the only one with messed up memories and he kind of feels like he owes the guy so why wouldn't he try and help? Getting the memories in order was the best way to help heal, right?! "I told him I'm bad at this stuff but he was all like 'who says' when he knows the answer is everyone! I'm not the one making it weird, he is, and besides there's no way we're doing anything close to just talking cause that guy hates it when I touch him." ...though as he says that, he can't help but remember when he was sleep deprived...how nice it felt talking to Gundham normally and how upset he was when the guy left him alone.

"...If you'd stopped talking sooner you'd have totally made your point, y'know, but now it sounds like you totally want to get your hands on him and fix him and stuff, and not even just in the fuckin' weird horny way you're always talking about." Hiyoko does set down her chopsticks, though, frowning. "It's not as funny when you get all sentimental about it. Don't get me wrong, it's still funny, but...I don't know. Fuyuhiko or something being gay would have been better, I think."

Mahiru just sighs. "Okay, Kazuichi. I believe that you want to help,"

"Me too, obviously!"

"But..."

"Oh, right! If you've just been sitting down and talking to him, what's with all the techytalk, then? You keep talking about programming and stuff in your notes."

"Because-! It's the program's fault his memory is fucked! That much should be obvious!" He really was trying not to be too loud for the sake of the hamsters and his own dignity but talking about this was just so frustrating. The people who understood him the least were the ones who found his damn notebook which was just the absolute worst. Why was he such an idiot? "I'm not gay and I don't like him in that way! There's nothing sentimental about it, he just...I don't know what he thinks because he won't give me a straight answer, but none of this is gay!"

"Yeah, but are you fucking around with it? I thought they weren't letting you play with any of the computers because you might go totally psycho and start killing people or making deathtraps."

"I'm not lying! Whether I think he would or not doesn't mean anything, I'm just making sure we all know." But it does, and as mean as she's being, the fact she hasn't done anything drastic despite having admitted to knowing some of the restrictions is very telling about how capable she thinks he is of such a relapse.

"I just wanna know what the little freak is trying to keep hidden so bad. Maybe I want in on it! Ever think of that? Huh? You said Ibuki's name in there a couple times." 

Whether the volume is disturbing them or not is unclear, but one of the hamsters is climbing his torso, little claws all over his bare stomach and chest as Yurei wiggles her way up to peek out of his shirt. Shiryo squeezes his way out from between Kazuichi's fingers and flops onto the table, assuming battle-stance. Kazuichi stares at the hamsters...he kind of understood why Gundham liked them so much, it felt like they were concerned about him. "I just don't think it's any of your business. I'm not doing anything or touching anything I'm not supposed to, okay? I don't want to trigger something any more than you do." He began petting Yurei, honestly grateful she'd decided to move from his hip. This close, there's also an audible little chirr as Yurei grinds her teeth and chitters, grooming her face where she sits that one wouldn't be able to hear if they didn't have their ear literally right next to the little thing.

"Why do you care so much anyway? Is it really so weird that I might want to help a guy out?"

"Uh, yeah? Most of the stuff you do is to get your dick wet, isn't it?”

Kazuichi frowns at her. "I feel like that's an unfair assessment of my character." Sure, he did a lot of stuff in order to get approval but that had nothing to do with getting sex. Why would he want that from Gundham anyway? He's only ever...considered him a little cute…

Hiyoko narrows her eyes at him yet seems to move on regardless. “But for real...if I find out later that you knew how to help everyone and you're keeping it all to yourself so you can try to fix the weirdo-lord first of all people, I'm blaming you for anything that happens to the losers who can't get their heads out of their digital asses." She looks down at the hamster on the table, taking her chopsticks in hand again like she's ready to use them as self-defence if she needs to, pointing them at Shiryo. He bristles.

"If I did know how to artificially pull everyone out, I would've gone and done it already but that requires having access to the program that I don't have. I'm also not a coding guy, I'm a hardware guy so all I can do is speculate." He says that but he feels like he's not paying full attention anymore, placing a hand on the table for Shiryo to escape if he so desires. The hamster seems to relax ever so slightly, standing more directly between the fingers he's already marked and the chopsticks. "Just...give me back the notebook. Gundham wasn't exactly thrilled to realise I'd lost it."

"But you're gonna do whatever you can for them, right? Just promise you're not going to halfass it just to cater to your boyfriend, okay?"

Mahiru sighs as she pushes herself up to her feet. "...I can go get it. Where is Gundham? Is it yours or his?" She gathers up her plate and mug - Hiyoko has no reason to follow, but she grabs her half-empty bowl, too, and stands up away from the hamster.

"He's not my boyfriend! And he's not going to be my boyfriend." He lifts Shiryo to his head again, silently permitting him to torture his scalp as he stood up. Seriously, being nice to a guy does not automatically mean they're dating. He'd hung out with plenty of other guys and it wasn't labelled as gay so what was so different about him wanting to be on better terms with Gundham?

"Okay, jeez, he doesn't have to be," Even Mahiru seems like she'd had some small attachment to the idea, because she makes a face at him. "Can you calm down about that part?"

"Yeah, why you gettin' so upset about it? You don't like gay people?" Hiyoko's back to it. She must not care that much about the more emotional aspect, either that or she's had enough of trying to convey it.

"I've got nothing against gay people. I'm just not one of them, especially not for Gundham." He grumbles. Yeah, they're hanging out a lot these days and he could admit when a guy is physically attractive but that had nothing to do with it. Kazuichi just thinks he's a great guy and he wants to be on better terms with him for maturity's sake. Though, thinking about it...he supposes it isn't the worst idea in the world. It isn't bad when they're getting along and if he's being completely honest, they did do some pretty gay things in the past...but that was despair doing that, he didn't enjoy it! It was just unfortunate that all of his firsts had to be in the darkest parts of his mind! He shouldn't be thinking about Gundham that way because it was unfair to him. Not that he wanted him at all in the first place!

"Okay, that one's fair, he looks kinda like an alien, especially now with that shit all over his face." Hiyoko says, crossing her arms and looking back over her shoulder, watching Mahiru head off to her room to fetch the notebook.

Kazuichi frowns. Those tattoos from the tragedy...he wonders if Gundham would try hiding them more if he had the means to. If he looks at them in a mirror and despises their existence. To Kazuichi, they're a reminder of the worst parts of himself. A reminder as to why he wants to be better. "It's...not his looks that are the problem." He looks down at Yurei. "He's just frustrating . Everything has to be convoluted with him, he won't just say what he needs! I hate how high and mighty he acts even when he's being a complete moron...! Yeah he's a great guy and he's nice when he wants to be but- god."

Hiyoko pops a hip and puffs out a breath, "Ew. You think he's cute? Weird." She mutters, flushing a little, "I mean, he is a dumb piece of shit, look at his everything , but don't talk like that about a boy you like! If Mahiru was going around saying stuff like that about me I'd cut her head off."

"I don't like him and he's n-not cute!" Kazuichi refused to think that. Maybe he's said it before and maybe he's thought about it recently but that didn't make it true! "I've been trying to say that! Why would I be wanting to date anyone at the moment and why would it be Gundham?" Mahiru is right. He doesn't deserve that.

"I dunno! People seem to be doing that, though, don't they? Even people who had no business fucking at all, much less each other." Hiyoko gestures toward Peko, who coughs politely in warning. "I half think that Hajime's cracking open Nagito every once in a while to get a look at him while he's asleep." She mutters, a little less actively combative now that Mahiru's not around to dote on her about it. "I'm guessing it's all the hope junk, which makes me think that you would be on the top of the list of looking for someone to be all cutesy over."

Ew... didn't they all agree Nagito was a nut-job? Maybe he should be concerned about Hajime too if any of that is true. "I just- I don't...want to, okay? There isn't anyone here I want to date and it's really not my place to." Even if he was interested in Gundham, he wouldn't pursue him anyway. There’s a deep gnawing feeling in his chest at the very idea of it. They could be friends but...it really shouldn't go further. Not with everything he remembers about the tragedy. It wouldn't be right of him to indulge, it wouldn't be right of him to do anything other than be nice to him. Gundham deserves better and it just wouldn't be healthy. And that concern, that deep self loathing becomes clearer on his face the more he thinks about it, bringing Yurei closer to his face as he focuses on the feeling of her fur. Little hands lie flat on Kazuichi's cheek as the hamster starts to groom his skin as Mahiru comes tapping back down the hall, notebook in hand. Little rough hamster-kisses and gentle teeth comb over his face. He hates thinking about all of this but he knows he has to. It's his responsibility to not let any of that happen again.

Hiyoko huffs, a bored look on her face. "Fine. I'd tell you guys to act more normal around here, then, but I don't think that's possible. Just focus on your work and how to apply this stuff more broadly, then, okay?"

Kazuichi looks over at her, sighing as he reaches out to take it. "Yeah, I know. I wouldn't keep a breakthrough to myself..." He awkwardly reaches out to take back the notebook, flipping through the pages to make sure everything was in order, pausing when he gets to the last note Gundham left. Maybe that was his hypothesis on the situation but he'd have to ask him about it later. And man, these hamsters were making him want pets of his own. "...thanks for giving it back." He puts the notebook under his arm so he could resume his previous hold on Yurei. It certainly felt better than pulling out his own hair out of stress.

"We weren't gonna keep it forever," Mahiru says with a frown, "And if it was a diary or something like that, I wouldn't have read any of it at all."

"I still would have."

"And so I would have heard about it against my will, but I wouldn't have grilled you on it. It is really important that we all take care of the newest guy, even if it's Gundham. So I think that's kind of noble, as long as you really put your all into it."

"I'm not doing anything special." There’s nothing noble about being a decent guy. He's just doing what he's supposed to do and helping where it's needed. That's his job and it's weird for Mahiru to praise him for it. "I'm just helping a guy who wants help, that's it."

He waves his hand as he walks away, finally able to get away from that whole conversation. Why were they so insistent that he must be feeling something? As if Gundham would ever feel that way about him, it's ridiculous. They weren't even friends and they were already jumping to dating? God and he'd agreed to start eating the guy's food too, why did he keep making himself look so gay?!  He doesn't feel anything towards Gundham except regret and shame and a need to be better. He wasn't choosing to spend time with him because of anything other than a selfish need to feel like a good person. Gundham isn’t pretty, he isn't interesting, or particularly nice to him. Every conversation they have is frustrating yet he has a deep need to make sure he isn’t going to get hurt. He hates Gundham but not nearly as much as he hates all the things he's done to the guy.

Kazuichi puts the notebook on his bedside table, sighing as he sits down. "...you guys should go back to Gundham." He says as he looks down at Yurei again. "We got the book back so uh...you can report back or something." Yurei scoots around his neck to the very back of his shirt and nibbles at the hairs at the very back of his scalp in another grooming-motion, leaving a little trail as she goes. And a puddle on his collarbone, but given her size, it's pretty negligible. Just a little drop to remind him that being covered in rodents can, indeed, be pretty annoying. Kazuichi frowns to himself. That seems like a no to being left alone then. Hopefully Gundham will come get them soon, he doesn't know enough about animals to be able to feed them or anything.

Before he can dwell on it too long though, he's startled by a sudden knock, Peko peeking her head into the room after a few seconds holding two mug. "...Hello, I hope I'm not interrupting. But do you...um, need anything? Tea? Do you like it sweetened?"

Kazuichi narrows his eyes in confusion, adjusting himself to cross his legs on the bed as she steps a little further into the room. "I mean...yeah, but I'll take it however you're offering it. I don't really need anything but I'm assuming there's something you want to say."

Peko’s mouth forms a line briefly as she sets one of the mugs down on his bedside table. "Let me know if it's- if you need it to be remade, and I'll set you up with some, okay?" She looks at him wide eyed, thinly veiled concern. "I was going to give you the opportunity to deny it and pretend like nothing was happening, truthfully. Since I'm bringing Fuyuhiko tea anyway, I thought I'd stop by on my way. It seems like you're being gossiped about enough without me adding to the pile, so I should ask if it's explicitly against your wishes to say anything about your project to him." The fact she considers it a choice is a little new, rather than reporting all intel, relevant or not, directly to him. "Also, I do hope she didn't get to you." That one is more on the principle that if Hiyoko is bothering someone genuinely after all this time, there's probably something much bigger going on, a larger scab that she's poking at on accident.

Kazuichi picks up the cup, staring down at the tea. "I don't know," He just sort of sighs. "I trust Fuyuhiko and he trusts me to a degree. I'm not sure if Gundham really wants everyone talking about it so...just do whatever you want." He takes a sip of the tea. Not nearly as good as it could be but he wasn't going to complain. "...and Hiyoko is just Hiyoko." Did she get to him? Yes, of course she did, but Kazuichi is just sensitive.

"I'll feel better later. Once we all stop talking about it and I get back to working."

She gives a sigh of relief. "Oh, good. I'm not the sort of person who's well equipped to handle emotional outbursts. As long as you're managing." He's really not. He's ignoring everything and trying his best to be normal, that's not really managing anything. But he doesn't argue, just nods along and thanks her for the tea. She bows her head, making brief eye contact with the little beast sticking its face down Kazuichi's forehead and giving him a soft smile. Shiryo doesn't seem to acknowledge her beyond a sniff as she walks out, closing the door very quietly behind her.

Only then does he hop out of the hat and scramble down Kazuichi's face cause the man to whine, leaving little pink scratches as he goes until he reaches his lap, narrowly avoiding becoming hamster tea, and starting to explore a little, sniffing nose hanging off of the edge of Kazuichi's knee like he's about to make another jump for it. He has only seen this place one other time so it makes sense he'd be curious.

"You tagged along for the adventure, didn't you?" He asks despite knowing he won't get an answer, putting his tea to the side and leaning back on his hands. "As long as you two play nice, I don't mind, but Gundham might start getting worried about you."

Kazuichi has always wondered if Gundham can legitimately understand these guys or if he's just making a good guess. Maybe he trained them to be able to express certain things but he honestly has no idea. Not like he ever gets any responses out of them. "...you're not gonna tell him what I said about him, right?" 

Hearing speech directed at him, Shiryo stops and looks, whale-eyed for a moment, and then makes the leap onto the bed, scrambling down the blankets until he's on the floor. Seems he was going to stay, but the idea of telling on Kazuichi is too much for him to handle. Kazuichi gets to experience the fantastic feeling of realising that a hamster can indeed flatten itself out enough to get underneath a closed door on a soft carpet.

"And what about you?" He sighs, looking down towards Yurei who is currently poking around in his jumpsuit. Thankfully she'd moved to his front at some point but from the way she's not even trying to reach an exit, he can assume she won't be leaving any time soon. It's sort of nice to finally have these guys at the very least tolerate him. Walking around with them crawling all over him is definitely new and he's not sure how Gundham's so used to it, but it's not bad. 

Kazuichi keeps Yurei steady as he lays down, staring at his ceiling. He was still stuck on what the girls had been saying. He didn't think he and Gundham could ever be anything more than frenemies, truthfully. Being on truly good terms with him...that wasn't going to happen and Kazuichi knew that he himself was the sole problem. It's- not that he really wanted to do anything like hug or...but if he did, he knew he wouldn't deserve it. Gundham was such a good guy compared to him, being trusted with anything like that wasn't going to happen or at least he felt like it shouldn't.

(Perhaps the girls had been right. Maybe he really did feel that way but was denying it to keep the status quo. Because how could he fall in love and feel as though he should get anything in return? Perhaps the truth was that between his worry and the nightmares of stolen affection, there was a longing for something sweet and genuine with the man he'd grown to understand. And every night he'd perish the thought for how unearned and selfish it truly was.)

Kazuichi stays in bed all morning, Yurei staying by his side with her tiny hamster care. The tea runs cold but at no point did he even try to drink it again. And despite his promise, he doesn't make an appearance at lunch, which wasn't too out of the ordinary for him, but what was was the fact that at dinner he came in for a granola bar and left immediately. He feels so lost in his thoughts and memories, desperately trying to make sense of everything only to be pulled deeper into the pit he'd been ignoring ever since he woke up from the program. He doesn't know what he needs and all his desires feel so twisted and selfish that he doesn't know what to do. He always knew he couldn't ignore himself forever and so now he was stuck in a tidal wave of not fully processed emotions. As soon as he figures out how to box them back up, he'll be alright.

***

For Gundham, as a young boy, it had absolutely been panic to find out. For an older one, now, it's another tool he and his cohorts make great use of: that a fullsize hamster has no problems squeezing under a closed and locked door.

He'd known pretty quickly after he'd laid down that Shiryo had left without his permission, and he receives a scolding when he gets back - or as much as Gundham can muster while he's finally reaping the stomach-pain consequences of his actions.

"So?" He finally asks, Shiryo standing directly in front of him on his pillow. The hamster relaxes visibly and stomps around a little bit to make himself comfortable, and then lies down. A good sign that there's nothing to worry about.

"So he's found it already..." Shiryo gives a little huff and snuggles down, and Gundham reaches up to scritch the top of his head and kisses his little nose. "What troubles upon his journey? Any, nay?"

The normally easily aggravated hamster nibbles his chin in a series of little hamster-kisses and crawls into his scarf. Apparently, not too bad - there's a sweetness to it, too. Thank goodness. Shiryo peeks back up near his ear and squeaks quietly, making him chuckle and then sigh. Kazuichi can't be doing perfectly if Yurei still feels the need to be with him, and if she were anywhere else (or the mission had failed in any other disastrous way), Shiryo would have made it very clear that there was something to worry about. Not the worst possible outcome - although Gundham's still trying to figure out what exactly the kisses are supposed to convey.

Lunch is light - a return to snacking and feeling a little bit nicer, and by dinner, Gundham's geared up to go again. He shows up late and misses Kazuichi entirely, which leads to a pretty long stretch of sitting at the table picking through what he can eat and leaving what he can't, assuming that eventually Kazuichi will show up...only to be left sitting there after most of the group has already moved on with cold food that he has to stare at and hope that nobody asks him what the he's doing. They don't.

Anyone who may care left early enough that they didn't realise he was left there, and the couple of awkward glances he got from the remainders weren't worth enough to cause him any grief. Awesome job, listening to that guy - since when has he ever asked Kazuichi to do anything, really? And on the rare occasion he does, how many of those requests go fulfilled? He can't think of many. (He can think of a few, but those ones would melt him if he held them in his heart any longer than a moment, and he wants to let himself be a little frigid for now.)

He doesn't outright disobey their agreement, though it's mostly out of spite. Not that 'disobedience' is what he would call it if he had eaten all of it, anyway, he'd call it more...a return to form, or a late start to the new program. But he doesn't need to, because once everyone's gone, he tosses what's left on his plate and makes his way to the pod room, ready to scold Kazuichi over the whole thing, only to find it empty, except for the bodies, who have been waiting almost a week since their last revival. The adrenaline that came with the idea of smiting his betrayer really was what had kept him held together long enough to do the deed without too much guilt, though. So for that he can't be ungrateful, he decides eventually. Another day of being spurred onward by the desire to find him and pick a fight with him tomorrow down, a great deal of them to go, he assumes.

Chapter Text

Bang. Bang. Bang.

It’s not long after Kazuichi’s ‘dinner’ that he hears hard and fast knocks at the door. He groans to himself. As long as it’s not Gundham coming to scold him, he should be alright, though apparently he doesn’t answer fast enough (which is to say, the door doesn’t open within a single second of it being hit for the last time) as more come in quicker succession. 

"Alright! Geez, I'm not dead!" Kazuichi calls out as he approaches the door, swinging it open with an annoyed look only to find Fuyuhiko standing there. Ah...maybe him not being there for dinner had made people concerned. He can't really tell though. Fuyuhiko's concerned face is very similar to his mildly annoyed face which just so happens to be the most common expression Kazuichi sees from him. Still though, it feels like a while since they talked. Neither of them have been busy but there hasn't really been a chance for them to catch up or anything so it feels a little strange to see him there. Kazuichi makes a confused and worried face as they make eye contact, raising his eyebrow. "What's up? Is everything okay?"

"Nobody thought you were dead. How would you get yourself killed in a single day? They're just shy of puttin' tennis balls on the table corners in here." He's already jamming a foot into the doorframe, just in case Kazuichi tries to shut him out. "What's up is I'm being forced to sit down looking at the empty seats at the end of the table. Like, more of them than usual. This is a thing we all do together and shit, isn't it? Who told ya you get free passes to leave the rest of us miserable with each other? It's the easiest goddamn rule we've got."

"It's not like I didn't show up at all. Besides, I've missed dinner before, why are you giving me crap about it now?" It wasn't a hard rule after all, more like a self-imposed expectation. Kazuichi is usually pretty good at following it unless he gets distracted by something, but it was rare for Fuyuhiko to get this annoyed by it. He’s usually just left to his own devices unless someone decided they should bring him food. "No one ever said how long I had to be there for, am I not allowed to have a day alone?"

"Ever heard of the three strike system? Something I've been playing with so I don't go off the handle every time you do something real fuckin' weird." Fuyuhiko leans against the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. "You aren't at three yet, so this is like a warning. ...Besides, I didn't hear anything about it 'cept that it happened, but I caught wind that you got shaken down a little bit this morning...especially since it's those two, I don't have much room to be bitching at them. So I'll bitch at you instead, since we're on such good terms." (Really, all it had been was a look that Peko came in with, and then a game of charades trying to figure out who it was she had the sullen look over without outright demanding that she tell him, which ultimately was kind of fun, if frustrating.)

"...what the hell are you talking about?" Why could no one talk like a normal person around him? Kazuichi sighs as he walks back into the room, laying on the bed again to dote on Yurei. He feels bad that he doesn’t know what to feed her, but figures she'd have left if she truly was hungry. "Yeah, Hiyoko annoyed me this morning, but what's new about that? Upset you missed out on the gossip or something?" Probably not, Fuyuhiko never cared about stuff like that. He does, however, come and pester him when he thought something was off and...well he isn’t wrong but that doesn’t mean he wants to really engage.

"Cus I didn't hear what happened! If I could come in and yell at you about the issue at hand I'd do it!" He shuts the door behind him as he invites himself in, jamming his hands into his pockets. "At this point, I'm trying not to rip that giant bitch's pigtails out every time she walks by. If you got a reason to be mad at her, don't fuckin' tell me or I might lose it." Fuyuhiko’s eyes fall onto the hamster, making a face at her, "...We’re being watched by the Scryin' Nerd Eye?"

Kazuichi shrugs as he pats Yurei's little head. "She's just been hanging around all day." And he lays there in silence for a long while. It could be worth trying to talk about what's been going on in his brain. If he doesn’t, nothing will change and he'll never stop feeling weird. "...do you think it's weird I've been hanging out with Gundham?" He sort of asks out of the blue, not looking up at Fuyuhiko as he says it and instead choosing to focus on the hamster. They really are such great distractions for his nerves…

Fuyuhiko seems to really think about it for a second. "You aren't in highschool anymore, y'know that, right? You shouldn't be worried about looking weird. In fact, I don't think you actually do." He raises an eyebrow at him. "Besides, who's idea of it? I think plenty about you are weird. You're a walkin' freak show. But that's fine."

"That's not what I meant." Kazuichi rolls over onto his back. How should he put it? It's not that he was scared of judgement, there wasn't anyone around to judge him anymore, but more of- "I guess it's like... should I be doing it?" He’s not sure he really wants to explain the details of that feeling. He's never said any of it out loud so he got a clue how to explain it without being overly vulnerable. "You remember as much as I do, right? ...apologising is one thing, but what if I'm being forceful about it and he just hasn't told me?"

Fuyuhiko sighs deeply and stares at the floor while he thinks. "Are you fuckin' kidding? Where do I even start?" He looks like he's genuinely trying to figure that one out before he continues, "I dunno about Tanaka. Don't know the guy all that well, comparatively. But I know that there's shit I've done to people that if I were in their spots, I wouldn't forgive me in a million fuckin' years, and they keep me around anyway." He shrugs one shoulder. "I guess it's different for you two, though, huh?"

"I don't know! Like...we talk and stuff and he trusts me with things I feel like he shouldn't!" Kazuichi groans as he covers his face with his hands. Maybe that’s the biggest problem in his head. He wants friendship yet can’t accept that it may be wanted in return. "I-I don't know how he could ever be comfortable doing any of that. And I can't just ask him about it because he never tells me how he actually feels about things! I was meant to be there at dinner with him and I feel like such a jerk for ditching!"

"...Okay, so not all that different," the blonde mutters awkwardly, pulling out the chair from the desk set up on one side of the room. "Don't tell Peko I'm talking shit, alright? I don't mean it in any bad way, and you know it. But...I get that, y'know? Dealing with some stubborn asshole who needs to learn not to let you be part of their own definition of self, right? I don't know how to make them do their own fuckin' thing. If I did, I'd tell you. But right now, I'll tell ya what I am doing, and it's not leaving her behind. Call it selfish, I sure am, but...feels better to me than making her feel like I don't give a shit. Because I went through that for years. Made her feel like I didn't care about het at all, and it fuckin' sucked. If she isn't going to value herself, someone's got to, right? So...I do my best. It’s all you can do." He sighs heavily, slumping backwards, hands still in his pockets but now looking notably much more pouty.

"Never pinned Tanaka as a guy without self respect, though, so I can't say that my advice would be to help him in that way. If there's a single thing I trust that guy to do, it's not to do shit lightly. He acts dumb, but I think he puts a hell of a lot of thought into all of his stupid."

"No...he's got plenty of self respect..." Kazuichi thinks he's the one with that issue. He sits up, letting his feet dangle off the side of the bed as he faces Fuyuhiko. "We started talking because I was told it'd be a good idea. And I like it, it's nice having someone actually seek me out, y'know, but I...I don't feel like I should be doing that." God, it’s gross being so honest, but he needs to explain it so someone actually understands what was going through his brain. "I...I can't forgive myself, I guess. I was just...awful to him for a long time and so I don't feel like I deserve him being so tolerant. I want to be a better person and stuff and it's nice being on kinda better terms but I don't know how he can be so calm around me...and I feel like a selfish prick for letting myself accept it all."

"So you want him to be a prick about it? I can get that. I'd be surprised if you were to tell me he hasn't been, though, honestly. He looked pretty pissed at dinner." Fuyuhiko doesn't know exactly what went down with the two of them, he didn't keep up on it, but he did see the occasional result of them being put in close quarters together. Blood and gore, mostly. If there was anything else, he tried not to pay attention. None of his business. "Fucked up thing is that he isn't gonna un-forgive you just 'cus you feel like shit about it. Especially if you don't talk about it. If you really care about him, y'know..." He makes a face, a sort of embarrassment. "Sorry, by the way. It's no excuse, but shit's been messed up. I'd be 'seeking you out' too if I knew you wanted shit like that. And if I had the time."

Kazuichi groans, shoving his face into the pillow and kicking his feet on the bed. Now he feels even worse for leaving Gundham alone at dinner. How is he meant to see him in the morning? Or would he have to see him sooner given that Yurei still hadn't left. "He's so annoying and I hate that he has to be all cryptic, why do I have to like him so much?" He practically whines though even he isn't sure what he really means by that.

"Fuck, you understand him more often than I do! Imagine how it is for the rest of us! Christ." Fuyuhiko huffs, uncomfortably. "Don't cry, dude, I can't handle that." He mutters, rubbing the back of his head and sitting up to lean a little closer, like he's going...comfort him? Or something?

"I'm not crying." He grumbles. It was nice telling someone about his feelings but it hadn't changed anything. Fuyuhiko didn't tell him anything he didn't already know. Gundham and his stupid face and his stupid hamsters weren't going to change unless Kazuichi actively drove them away, which he doesn't want to do. He did want to be nice and approachable and nothing like he used to be… But knowing how he once was, how could Gundham accept him? "...do you think...maybe he doesn't actually remember it?" He's not mentioned it once, not even alluded to it. Surely it would've come up at some point…

"...I dunno? I haven't talked to him hardly since he woke up. Except sayin' hello and everything, you know, polite-like..." Fuyuhiko makes a face like he's disappointed in himself. "I remember a hell of a lot of it, though, so did Peko. From after the tragedy and then in the program. Peko even sorta...sorta said she knew what went on after she was executed. Which was kinda good to hear, in a way. So..." He shrugs, trailing off.

Kazuichi kicks his feet again. If he remembers, why doesn't he say anything? Gundham seems pretty strict about his morals so why isn't he...upset with him? Maybe they feel the same way about it: feeling as though everyone except themselves got a pass. Ugh, what a fucking idiot. "I hate him so much!" Which isn't true at all and they both know that but he still feels the need to say it. "Why can't I just know how to talk to him about this shit..."

"Oh, come on. I call that cryin' in essence." Fuyuhiko calls him out, raising his voice a little. "You need a babysitter? You need someone to sit over you two and play relationship counsellor? 'Cus if that's what you're fishing for you know I'm just gonna tell you to fuckin' calm down and say whatever it is you wanna say. Whatcha scared of? He'll hate you more? Wouldn't he hate you either way if y'just keep fuckin' ignoring him?"

"I don't plan to ignore him!" Kazuichi turned his head, practically glaring at him. "And I don't need any of that - don't make it sound like we're dating." Though really, he isn't sure what he really needs. Now that he has his feelings out in the open, he isn't sure what would solve any of it. Probably communication but god that's hard and how is he even meant to start that conversation? Would it be weird if he just came right out and said it with no lead in at all? 

"...You aren't! You better fuckin' not be, anyway, if this is how you're handlin' it, Jesus. Listen, Souda." He scoots the chair a little closer and crosses his ankles. It's much harder to make a shot-back glare look good with just one eye, but the upside is that once he does get it across that he's being stern, people tend to take it a little more seriously than before. "It's Gundham Tanaka. You can't control what the shit he does. He does whatever the fuck he wants. Let him do whatever he's doing. If he makes a mistake, let him fuck up. We're all fucking up, over and over,  right this minute. We're locked in here for who knows how long, this right here is the place to fuck up big and hard and have it not be the whole end of the world, right?" He sighs heavily, "You don't have to do shit my way. But I'm telling you, if you're really worried about like, manipulating him, or whatever, part of having someone trust you is trusting them, too. If you treat him like a fuckin' tool or a doll or - whatever, how likely do you think he's gonna be to stand up for himself then?"

He can't tell if Fuyuhiko really understands what the problem really is, though it's not like Kazuichi's fully aware either. "So I should just...let it continue? Or explain how I feel?" But being vulnerable in front of Gundham is hard! He doesn't want to tell him he's scared of himself and he doesn't want to open the door to a discussion clearly neither of them want to have. It's probably necessary though. The only way they can truly move forward is if they address the past otherwise it's going to fester inside him until who knows what.

"I just said you don't have to do shit my way, didn't I? Do whatever! Just don't...I don't want you to be afraid of acting, you know? I'm trying to make you feel like you might have a shot. I get that it's different for you two than it was for me and Peko, but. Seriously. I feel like it's better to regret doing something stupid tryin' to help than to never do anything at all. What if he biffs it or somethin'?! Y'know?!"

"I don't know what that means...!" He whines into the pillow. Why is he even going on about that stuff anyway? He looks over at Yurei, pouting at her. "What do you think, Yurei? Think that I'm stupid and Gundham should just beat me up?" The hamster crawls closer to him. He isn't really sure if he had been expecting an answer or not. "I'll figure it out." He waves a hand at Fuyuhiko. "But thanks for...caring?" Kazuichi isn't sure if he'd actually gotten anything worthwhile out of the conversation but he supposes he has some clarity on his emotions.

"...Gettin' sliced up did kinda help with the guilt." Fuyuhiko mutters and then shrugs with a sighs, standing from his seat. He squats down beside him to be on his level while Kazuichi pouts. "I do. Care. Y'know? Stuff is weird right now. We're working it out. There's a lot of us." Another sigh, he elbows the mattress to jostle him, "We...care about you. Alright?"

"Alright." That is nice to hear though, especially from Fuyuhiko. He isn't someone to just throw out those sorts of words left and right so it kind of feels special to hear. "I promise I'll deal with it in the morning." As if he has a choice. He isn't going to let Gundham glare at him from across the room for the next week. "You should probably be getting to bed before curfew though."

"Good. If it goes good, lemme know. If it goes bad, eh...lemme know, too. We'll figure it out." Fuyuhiko says, relieved to be dismissed as he finally walks away again.

***

After hanging around the pod bay for little while just to see if Kazuichi will show up, Gundham heads to bed. He does stop by Kazuichi's room on his way, standing silently outside to see if maybe Yurei will smell and notice him. If she does, she doesn't leave the other’s side, so he carries on to his own room. He trusts her to come back when she deems it necessary, and he trusts the other hamsters to know if anything's gone wrong with her, although he does plan on having one go and check out the situation once the night's begun.

...Fine. Odd, but fine. Maybe Gundham really did have some sort of bug and gave it to him or something. If it's the same thing, he should be fine at least by lunch tomorrow. ​​He's got to start thinking of backup plans that aren't sitting in his room alone all day. Maybe he'll consult around tomorrow just in case Kazuichi died or stole his hamster, or something.

Gundham stares at a plate made up for him at breakfast. It's quite nice. He'd told - in some sort of way - Nekomaru that he hadn't been feeling well the night before, and he'd decided to make up for the missed and regurgitated meals with a nice breakfast. Most of it isn't awful. It's leftovers. It's mostly cold vegetables and rice, but there are also strips of beef that'd be hard to stomach for someone who doesn't have issues. It's been shipped from who-knows-where, cooked in bulk with partial help from the half-ultimate-cook and then slapped in the fridge all mixed up together for a night. Not bad, but it's borderline at best.

He's chewing on one half of sprig of wilted broccoli and holding the rest up to the hamsters lined up on his shoulders when Kazuichi plops down directly next to him. He's startled but doesn't jump, just looks over at him and sighs. It's hard to tell what exactly the emotion in it is. Kazuichi jams a chopstick into his bowl and takes one of his chunks of beef and Gundham stares, furrows his brows, and glances down at the short distance between their seats.

"You pester me so early? Does your evil never rest?" Yurei dribbles out of Kazuichi's shirt onto the table. "Ah, there it is, your evil."

Kazuichi looks down at Yurei, giving her one last pat on the head. "She had some seeds last night." He reassures. "And what? Do you want to destroy yourself from the inside out?" He raises an eyebrow at him as he grabs another piece of beef. It's chewy, probably would be way better if it'd been steamed or fried for a few minutes but Kazuichi will take crappy food over no food. He alternates a bit, eating a few bites of his own rice before snatching up more meat just so it's not quite so obvious what he's doing. Not that anyone would care, but he doesn't need more reason for people to think the two of them are anything but not-quite-friends. "Actually, can we uh..." he doesn't want to, but he should. It's the right thing to do, to just get it all out into the open. "Can we talk? Like...in private?"

Gundham clenches his jaw and narrows his eyes at him, watching him carefully, trying to read the expression on his face. He just looks nervous. Upset, a little. Avoidant, mostly. "We often do," he says, and then looks down at the couple of bites left of his meal, scooping them into a little pile. "Let me finish my ritual. Where do you have in mind?"

"I dunno...I just don't want people like walking in or eavesdropping." Ah maybe he should have thought of a location or maybe he'd just assumed that wouldn't have been a question. He fails to realise that saying it like that however could sound sort of strange. Kazuichi can't find it in himself to care right now though, far too busy still trying to craft the perfect sentence so he doesn't bash his head into the wall when the time does come to actually say it. His stomach feels like an absolute void. "It's...kind of important..." He mumbles. "But like you know we can also just not talk if that's what you want, no pressure at all."

"At what point did I insinuate you were to completely dispel the idea?" Gundham offers a bit of spinach to Yurei. She doesn't eat it, just refills her cheeks with it and a good amount of the food remaining in the bowl. He does like that he's allowed to have his companions at the table. "My den? The Wandering Crusader can return to her usual schedule of slumber." He nods down at Yurei, standing up as he takes the chance to establish at least some of the details of their meeting.

"Yeah...that works." Kazuichi finishes off his food and trails behind him. It's weird, what's he even worried about anyway? All he was doing was making them look way more like an item.  Gundham's room is just as blank and bland as his own aside from the hamster cage setup when they arrive. It'd be nice to finally be able to put some personality into their living spaces when this was all said and done. But that isn't really the focus right now.

"So...how do I put this..." He stares down one of the walls. "I guess I want to know...what you're feeling about me."

Okay, so it's that nature of 'talk'. Gundham closes the door behind him and stands with his back to it, looking at Kazuichi with his arms crossed, trying to capture his gaze - but he keeps evading. Fine. If he won't look at him, he won't give him the time of day, either. He goes to start putting hamsters back in their designated sections - Yurei first, although as he's putting the rest away, he can see that she hasn't gone to snuggle down yet - she's just comfortably sat at the edge of the cage and peeking through the bars at them. Gundham looks over his shoulder at him and then sits down on the floor beside the cage. "...What sort of trick is this?" He sets his elbow on his knee and props his chin on it, a distant sort of look on his face. "Complicatedly. Was that not clear?"

Kazuichi grabs at his clothes. Obviously, but he wanted more detail than that! "It's not a trick! I just..." He groans to himself. It's so difficult, why did it have to be difficult? "Why would you want to be around me and trust me with such sensitive stuff?" That's possibly the most straightforward way he can put it, his mouth forming an uncomfortable line. "And I get that you talk to me because you ran out of options or whatever but...you don't seem like the kind of person to do that with just anyone?"

Gundham makes a face, scrunching his nose, a look of almost disgust. "Status quo, perhaps." He mumbles. "You have been nearby in times of crisis before, for better or worse. Generally better. For me, anyway, I fathom little how it has affected you. Suppose I should ask at some point."

Kazuichi groans, pressing his face in his hands and kneeling down. "Can you please just give me a straight answer this one time?" He really doesn't want to go into details. He just wants to know what's going through Gundham's head and be done with it...but he's never going to hear about that, is he? "It's not that I don't like hanging out. I think you're a good guy and spending time together isn't all that bad...but...why are you so okay with me figuring out so much about you?"

"You know I can't. I can try." Gundham says, looking a bit tired and rubbing his face with his palm. He is tired. And this isn't a conversation he'd anticipated happening. "Have I ever been one to hide my dark past? What could you do to me with it when I have already come to terms with it? The information is not a weapon, it can not hurt me. You couldn't hurt me with it if you tried."

"That's not the point...!" He scratches his head rather hard, looking up at him finally. "I...I don't want to just talk about it...but I hurt you. Like so much. I wasn't nice to you for so long and then I got worse." Kazuichi can so clearly visualise exactly where old scars must still litter his skin. Tattered and ugly from how they went uncared for. It makes him feel sick. "Wouldn't you rather I stay far away from you?"

"I– was I ever kind to you, especially?" Gundham can't help but flush and bring his knees in a little closer to his chest, but he's not going to curl up. No, he'd only sat down because he thought that even on the floor he'd be able to keep his dominance in the altercation, he's not going to look weak now. "Besides, we all did despicable things, did we not? Have I not especially performed so exceedingly poorly..." He waves a hand and moves to stand up, after all. He needs the extra confidence. "To have been abandoned by man even before the fall?"

"Well we aren't talking about any of that!" Kazuichi honestly looks as if he's panicking, the anger in his voice not at all matching the desperate and terrified way he's staring at him. He knows, logically, that it's not really his fault. If it had truly been his choice to do any of it, it wouldn't have happened, but it still feels as though he'd actually been in control the whole time. "What I did to you isn't...I could've..." He doesn't even want to verbalise it. The blood, the agony, the deranged sense of pleasure, he wants to just stop thinking about it. 

Before either of them realise it, Gundham's stepping closer to him with his hands halfway up, like he's trying to comfort an aggressive animal. The scars all over his left hand are familiar as old, and his right hand is about the same as it's always been, but while wearing his sleep shirt there are fresher, pinker scar-lines visible on his upper arms, trailing underneath his short sleeved shirt where they disappear. "Would you like to 'talk about it' or not?" He grumbles, "Can you calm down? Ask again. I'll do what is in my power to translate what I can this time. What is it?"

Kazuichi sort of whimpers, pulling at his own hair. He wants to listen and calm down but he can't , his vision growing blurry with tears and no amount of breathing seems to be enough. "I-I don't want to hurt you again..." He manages to say though he's not really looking at Gundham anymore. "I don't want you to hate me but you should. You should h-hate me so much..."

A palm meets each of Kazuichi's arms. It's not an especially comforting grip, both a little too tight and a little too cold and not quite close enough to even be called a portion of a hug, but it's there, and Gundham curls his grip around him. "Breathe. No discussion can be had until then."

Kazuichi grabs Gundham's arm for some kind of support, closing his eyes tight to just focus on it. Actually, the dull pain of the hold somewhat helps, it's something he can focus on other than what's happening internally. Kazuichi wants to just hug him properly, but he can't bring himself to push that boundary. Instead, he lets himself sit there until his breathing comes out even, hesitantly letting go and wrapping his arms around his knees instead. "...I'm sorry." He mutters, though it's not clear what he's apologising for.

Gundham places a knee on either side of Kazuichi's lap and settles himself down in front of him, sitting on his heels, still holding him tightly. "Do you want to talk or not? I am not doing this with you, wherein you wallow and I watch. We will speak or I will remain here to be..." He's not sure. He'd say of comfort to him, but it doesn't seem to be the case at all. ' Used ' is probably also not correct, given the context, though it is how he feels. "...Present."

Kazuichi sniffles, wiping his eyes before properly looking at him. He doesn't want to talk but he does need to talk or he won't ever feel better about it. It feels nice to be close to him, nice to be touched even if it's not gently. He turns his head in a way that just falls shy of leaning on Gundham's arm. "I wanna talk..." he confirms. But the question is: where to start? He can't just force himself to go all in, that's what got him overwhelmed in the first place, but now he also doesn't want to say or do anything that'll make Gundham move away. "...I want to be friends with you." He whispers, swallowing down anything that would make that hard to admit. "But...I'm scared of myself now."

The little cold chamber within Gundham's chest seizes. The artificial beating like a heart plays double-time to catch back up. He takes one hand off of Kazuichi's upper arm and is about to put it on his shoulder, but hesitates and instead hovers. "We are terrifying creatures." He agrees. "Some of us have always been, some of us have only just developed. What difference does that make? Although it was to their detriment, humans learned to...learned to trust in me. So I don't see why it could not be the same way for you. That's aside from the fact I possess infinitely more power than the others, anyway."

"...you really think it's not that big of a deal?" He looks up at him again. Gundham can sound so sincere when he wants to. He seems so much gentler when he's speaking a bit quieter and Kazuichi finds that...he rather likes it. "I remember this one." He points just below Gundham's left shoulder, a scar left from a soldering iron no doubt still there underneath. "And your back...and...I don't like dreaming about it all the time." Kazuichi's eyes trail away, swallowing to try and prevent tears from welling up again. "I'm sorry...I touched you and hurt you and...I don't know how you can be so nice."

"I think it's–..." Gundham takes a breath and holds it, trying to think of the words to say. Something he's not often faced with, the idea of waiting so patiently for the words to come to him, something that'd been beaten out of him over time. Not by Kazuichi, but by many, many others. He purses his lips and looks down to where he gestures. The hand that was meant for Kazuichi's shoulder touches his own instead and rubs the spot, confirming that the wound was, indeed, there. To Kazuichi's credit, it doesn't hurt. He can't feel anything there at all. It feels a little odd, touching it and feeling flesh beneath but not being able to register it. "I think it's awful. Was not the purpose of the Dream - not the purpose we gave it, but its original one - to unearth something salvageable in us? Didn't you feel that, once, at least?" He scoffs and drops the hold he still has from Kazuichi's bicep down to his wrist. "You wouldn't have enacted the protocol to save the rest of us, too, if you hadn't had some moment of self-actualisation."

"I have nightmares about you." He somewhat clarifies as he stares at Gundham's hand. "I have nightmares that are more like just memories. And I remember what it felt like...and I wish I didn't." Kazuichi doesn't want to push too much, but he turns his hand to have the two of them sort of hold. Gundham's not wrong, and it helps hearing it all out loud. He's not sure if it was really self-actualisation but...for someone to call it that it makes him feel a bit better. "...I want to hug you." The statement is more him asking for permission, not looking up at him at all. Kazuichi doesn't want to force him into one if that's far too much touch, but it wouldn't hurt to at least make it known. "...please."

It's not often that an expression appears on Gundham's face that isn't hand-picked to be there, but there's a look of pain that pulls across him, a grimace. It's at the words, not at the touch - no, he takes the hand and holds it tightly, even though it's uncomfortably warm and makes his palm sweat and is likely filled unpleasantly with ice-cold, scar-divoted fingers for Kazuichi. "...I didn't know." he mutters, finally doing what he'd originally intended and putting his right hand on Kazuichi's shoulder, sliding it to the back of his neck, and then down to between his shoulder blades as he pulls him in with a deep breath, in and out. "I don't, if it helps. Sleep brings me nothing at all. Once it's obtained, it does not hurt." He's careful to put his chin on top of Kazuichi's shirt and keep his face away from his skin. "The only time I was afraid of your touch was when I could not anticipate how I would react to it."

And Kazuichi graciously leans into him, arms wrapped around him tight. He shouldn't know what this feels like and...thankfully the hug isn't exactly like the ones in his memory, but it's still familiar in a way. But he likes it. He appreciates that Gundham would do that and he almost sobs knowing how trusted he truly is. "I'm sorry ..." He whispers, grabbing onto his shirt. "I won't do anything you don't want ever again." It's more for his own comfort, but it does help him a little. "Don't let me do anything to you..."

"You can't say that, you frustrate me every day." It's not a joke, either, he's deathly serious. Gundham huffs, arms around Kazuichi's torso. It's an awkward hug. It feels odd to be in. They look ridiculous. But Kazuichi smells sort of like hamster pee and is radiating warmth like an overworked machine. "You couldn't hurt me," he lies, not sure what it is he should be doing except what he'd already promised: Just to hold him for a little while. "I wasn't being facetious when I said I'd grown used to the presence of your being. You were missed in your times away."

"...I missed you too." Given everything they've been through, it's strange, but wanting to be around Gundham and Gundham wanting to be around him like that...he likes it. "I'm sorry, I kind of...freaked myself out yesterday. I didn't do it on purpose." This is nice. He's not sure if they'll do it ever again, but Kazuichi wants to savour this one time. Gundham's skin is comparatively cold, but it's not bad. "If I ever do that again...you can come to my room and yell at me."

"I can not fathom how or why," Gundham grumbles, "I'm beginning to think my omniscience is limited only to the knowledge housed within planes I've trod upon before. Your mecharealm is foreign to me." His hands lower to hang around Kazuichi's waist. This is far from what he's used to, having his hands available for this sort of thing at all. He's not sure what to do with them. He's not sure he even wants to use them. Where he'd held Kazuichi's hand is clammy and uncomfortable. That feels wrong, too.

He raises them again until there's a flat palm on either of Kazuichi's shoulder blades. "The rime that radiates from the ire of my being can flash-freeze anything it touches, but it's just that, a flash." He shrugs, but very gently as to not hit him in the face with his shoulder. "The cold hand of a Tanaka grudge is reserved for the likes of angeldom, which you are certainly not a part of." Gundham finally pulls himself back to look at him face to face, "Don't take that to mean I will not yell at you, just that your punishments will be swift and clean." He doesn't quite smile, but the purse of his lips is as close as he can get.

Kazuichi laughs. "Yeah...I understand." He's not sure if the problem is solved but he's at least glad he could clarify their relationship just a little. He's happy they're kind of like normal friends actually. "I'll try not to absolutely breakdown in the future so we don't have to be this mushy." But he can't say it didn't help. Kazuichi is a rather touchy person, he likes being physically close to people so all of this was wonderful to him. His heart felt a bit lighter and there was a gentle smile on his, even as he reluctantly let his hands pull back from around him. "...thanks, Gundham."

Gundham gives him a curt nod and raises a hand to pat his cheek a couple times. (He can't bring himself to kiss him. Not when he's so sniffly and snotty, anyway, so he just gives an amused huff of breath in response.) "There it is, the recognition I've deserved all this time. Finally." He sits back, finally, and puts his hands in his own lap, wiping the sweat off his palm and onto his pant leg. "I was informed that your solo mission was at least a partial success."

"Ah- yeah. I did get the notebook back." Kazuichi finally has a chance to fully wipe his face off, adjusting himself to sit cross legged on the ground. "...Hiyoko was the one who had it though so she snooped." He isn't sure how much Gundham really cares but he figures he should know anyway. "I think Mahiru and Hiyoko have some weird ideas about our current relationship, but they don't seem too concerned and promised they wouldn't gossip."

"...Hm," he hums, thoughtfully. Well. Not optimal, but it could be worse. Hiyoko isn't going to try to genuinely speak to him about his feelings or anything, so... He looks up at Kazuichi sceptically, "Saionji placing upon our 'item' no curse? Surely you misunderstood when she meant she was to plot to destroy us." He pauses again for a second, missing the company of his Spirit Soldiers. He glances at the cage. Yurei's little face has disappeared. She must have gone to bed for the day. "...But did I not say to you, reassure you, that all within this prison dare not disobey me?"

"Yeah, yeah, made you sound super sketch and evil too." Kazuichi teases, sliding back so he can lean against the bottom of Gundham's bed. "Doesn't look like she did anything to the book. And she thought I was either stalking you or fucking you...but I cleared it up." He shrugs.

"I would expect nothing less, especially after Witnessing." Gundham says, very seriously, with a solemn nod. "I suppose I did also hear that you were otherwise indisposed. So all in all, the blame can be applied evenly." He looks unsurprised by the rest of the information, though he still pulls his face into his scarf over it, "Unclear what in my unholy book would give her that idea. I was an active participant, and none of the content was explicit." Another pause, "Was it?"

"If there is anything like that in the data set, I haven't seen it yet." He did still have quite a bit to go so it was always a possibility. He doubts it heavily, given both the program and Gundham as a person, but there could always be a surprise. Kazuichi eventually shakes his head, sighing. "Nah, she assumed because I wrote some stuff in English that those were dirty...surprised she of all people can't read it." She came from some rich family, didn't she? All traditional and such? Did she seriously just not pay attention in language class?

"...Reading it off of a page is different to hearing it. Especially in your handwriting. You don't write it properly." Gundham can't say he hadn't had the same thought. Not 'dirty', but at least 'sort of skeevy'.

He frowns at him. "Only my English! My kanji needs to be neat for blueprints. And besides, everything I write is perfectly legible." At least it was to him but also some of those notes were so small he could see why only he would be able to figure them out.

It's not normally any stretch to make fun of Kazuichi, but when it comes to matters of objective intelligence, it definitely gets harder. Really, credit to the brave souls who embark on this endeavour often (Hiyoko not included - she went the easy route). Gundham mirrors the frown with a little pursed smile. "For now it needs only to be legible to you. For wider application it may need revisions. ...When do you plan to return to your toil? The 'break' you were graciously granted by your overlord was apparently spent not so restfully."

Kazuichi wants to make a joke about how that sounds but he can't, laughing instead as a sort of nervousness enters his expression. "I mean...unless you want to like- do normal stuff today, we can go continue. Once you're properly dressed, obviously." He wouldn't mind getting back into it actually, wash out the bad taste of his thoughts going haywire with something familiar like that.

"Do normal stuff, he says...tell me, one wise of normality, what is it you would profess the processions of archdevils do in their time on Earth?” He grumbles and he pulls himself to his feet, starting to pull open dresser drawers.

"...I dunno...normal is just hanging out. I guess a good place to start would be I haven't been outside in a while." He should be getting more sunlight but he just had too much going on in here. Especially since he was cooping himself up with Alter Ego lately. He might start being concerned for his vitamin D levels. Kazuichi watches as Gundham pulls some clothes out, the first thought entering his mind being well I've seen you nude plenty of times watching you dress isn't a big deal. But even he's aware of how that would sound out loud, feeling his face heat up as he pulls himself up over the bed and onto the other side so he's not staring at the guy while he does it. "But, uh- we don't have to spend that kind of time together if you're not interested. You're right about my break and all."

Apparently Gundham has a very similar idea, because he yanks his shirt over his head - he is aware, now, that he should probably get dressed quickly, at least to spare him having to see the wounds. He dresses as if they're staying in, if nothing else, he'll head outside and get to pull in and retain some heat like a basking lizard all bundled up in his long sleeve and long dark coat. They've also been providing him what are presumably either approximately sized or repurposed underpants, which no fucking thank you, he'll forgo those. "Your break is from the work I've given you, not from me."

"Yeah...if it was a break from you, then it was barely a break." Kazuichi stands up when he's fairly certain Gundham is dressed, stretching himself out. Well, he's ready to go all in on watching the logs again. He still hasn't seen how the scenario between the two of them ends so that could be interesting to witness. "Actually though...it's not a bad idea. It'd probably be a good thing for me if I went on a walk after lunch before continuing. I might get in trouble if I miss dinner again..."

Gundham's still tucking his shirt in and his hair is a mess, but beyond that, he's decent. He pulls his wrist brace on and starts on wrapping himself up using a hand and his teeth, making his voice a little muffled. "In trouble?" He raises his brows, "Who says?" Almost defensively, as if it were him who was told he can't miss dinner. Well, if they're going outside for any amount of time, he should wear his boots. Even though they're underground, he still gives them a thorough check to make sure nothing odd has gotten into them since the last time he's worn them before he attempts putting them on. (Besides, feeling put together is a good thing. Helps with confidence.)

"Fuyuhiko was really pissed that I wasn't there yesterday...and he told me you were too." Kazuichi walks around the bed to be in the centre of the room again. "But who knows, maybe he wasn't upset that I wasn't there and it was other things." He shrugs to himself. "I'm not missing it today though. I'm not leaving you to deal with earthly poisons by yourself. I am a man of my word."

"I would have preferred if you at least sent my soldier back to my care if you were going to very literally prove to me that you were not a man of your word," Well, there's confirmation that he was upset last night - but he softens up a little with effort. Now is not the time. "I took care of it myself. Backup in the future would be nice, though."

"Look, I tried telling Yurei she could head back but she didn't want to listen. It was nice having her around though. I think I get why you take them everywhere..."

Gundham just sighs with a short glare to the cage, shaking out one leg and then the other. He should thank her, actually, for doing so, with the shape Kazuichi was in just a few minutes ago. He pulls his coat shut in the front, makes sure his scarf is tucked into it, and ties off the wrap around his hand, tucks the end under some of the gauze at his wrist. "Get in a few more entries. I'll elaborate on my notes and we'll get what we can before lunch?”

"Alright then, let's go get the notebook," Kazuichi motions for Gundham to follow as he begins walking out the door. "You can explain what that diagram you wrote means..."

Chapter Text

Their voices (well, mostly Gundham's, and only at Kazuichi’s encouraging) hush as they enter the hallway. Surely what he had written is fairly self explanatory, but he's not opposed to elaborating if Kazuichi wants to hear his thoughts. The man in question seems pretty much back to normal, thankfully, a smile in his eyes as he rambles on about their project while actually keeping pace with Gundham. They stop by Kazuichi's room on their way to pick up the notebook - they flip through the pages to find the diagram, opening it up to the spread with the doodles and notes. "I figured that I kind of got what you were saying, but it would be better if I could just check that we were on the same page. I'm assuming it's what you think is going on in the program, right?"

"For myself, anyway. We could try to ascertain from the Maiden whether or not the protocol is the same across all systems." Gundham shrugs, leaning over a little to look at the notebook as well. "I'll admit that it's a possibility that I've...overestimated the ability of the fraction of my power that I was limited to access while in the Dream, but while reading many of your summaries I found the version of me overseeing them understanding immediately that the scenarios taking place were nonsensical or had some sort of flaw. The less realistic the illusion the sooner they seemed to end, and so...signs point to my realisations being some sort of catalyst."

Kazuichi hums, closing his eyes as he presses the book to his chin as they make their way to the pod room. That makes sense. The program probably can't work properly if the people inside it know it's not real. That just leads to worry, doubt, and…possible existential crises, so it makes sense that Gundham would get suspicious and thus be thrown into something to pull him back off the trail. He can't help but wonder what it must've felt like. Like an incomprehensible fever dream, or was it more similar to how the original program felt, where it was exactly like being awake? "Nothing has really felt absurd so far, so picking up on the smaller changes that make it ‘off’ is kind of impressive." He was more aware of things like that than Kazuichi was, though - and it was his own mind, after all. "It makes sense that once your brain connected the dots, there was no going back from declaring it as fake."

"Exactly." Gundham doesn't remember a lick of what occurred when or how nearly any of the scenarios happened, but if this feeling of things being wrong is this strong off of studying Kazuichi's notes alone, he can't help but let his mind keep returning to it, even if he knows that by now it has been poisoned by confirmation bias. "There are a few you are going to show to me if we can make the time," he continues, bypassing 'leading' and falling directly into 'insistence', he has half a mind to take the seat from him, too, and nearly does so before he decides to stand aside instead. He can pull up a chair from beside one of the other terminals if it becomes necessary. As much as he still finds himself endeared to Alter Ego, Kazuichi is much more in the practice of accessing the logs.

Kazuichi raises an eyebrow but doesn't argue, finding the folder with ease and scrolling down to where he'd been up to last time. It seems as if he still has a while to go before he reaches the bottom, but the work shouldn't be all too hard. "That's where I got up to," he points to one of the files. "What are you wanting to look at?"

Gundham tilts his head down to look at the screen and finds his hair in his face, so he pulls it back and realises immediately that it's not going to stay and makes a gruff sound. "I don't remember which ones it is, but your notes say there are scenes with a certain holy figure from my early days of this cycle of eternity? A certain radiance?"

"Hm? You mean...?" His mother? Understandable that he'd be interested in seeing something like that, but that’s a weird way to put it, in Kazuichi’s opinion. Did he seriously think that highly of her? He scrolls up a bit, eventually pointing to the start of the particular loop that features her. "Actually, this one went on for a while. I wasn’t really sure what to make of it, but I guess you'd know way more about what happened than I do."

"Did it?" Gundham grumbles, "Start from the beginning, then, I guess. I thought I remembered it being brief, actually." And he does. Of all the things he remembers her being in, it was quite short, but then again, he doesn't remember much at all. He hadn't even realized she'd been there until he saw Kazuichi saying there was a woman with him at some points, and he put the two together. "You were vague about it." he says, plainly.

"Well, yeah. I can't go in depth when I don't really get what's happening." Kazuichi shrugs, tapping play and leaning away so that Gundham can watch a little more closely. Actually, it was sort of weird. This one never really got any better or worse, it just stopped . Maybe that says something about his childhood. Not like Kazuichi has any clue about that. "It doesn't seem like a super significant event, so I can't even interpret much. I just figured that due to your height, it was the earliest in the timeline..."

"It probably is," Gundham hums, moving in to watch, "Unless you somehow find me larval."

In the video, he's leaning against a collie dog, his hands curled into its hair. It's dark out, but it's also snowing, so it's hard to tell if it's late, or if it's just mid-afternoon in the dead of winter. Kazuichi’s right about the relative size of things - but even so small, he should still be reliably vigilant.

"Can she stay inside with me?"

"She's going to shed all over if she sleeps somewhere warm because she's already got her winter coat, Gundham." His mother explains, very gently.

"She had ice on her feet in the morning."

"She's a dog, Gundham."

He has the urge to skip, but he watches anyway, talking over it quietly. "She didn't let them in the house. I would have thought this'd be the moment if it were simulation-flaw based for him to notice."

"But then I have to brush the ice out of her hair in the morning."

"If you want to sweep up, mop, and let her out tomorrow before school instead, you can."

It continues all the way into Gundham corralling the wild old lady into his bedroom (the dog, not his mother). He skims the video forward. It's just his old nightly routine, up until his mother leaves and it's just him and the dog. The dog comes up to him where he's lying and stretches herself out over his chest. It's right at the end and his mother isn't even there still, what's the point? The Gundham on the screen scratches the dog for a while, unable to fall into restful sleep. After a long bout of staring straight at her, he pulls his hand out from under her, and then things stutter and go dark. "See! Any time I slept beside the warmth of the Lycans was spent under the moon bare, so...anyway. Now I only wonder if there's any instance where my discussion of the contract is recorded, or if it was just..." He clicks his tongue. "Assumed? Maybe? That I was poised to return instead?" 

"...I can't say I've got any clue." Kazuichi’s response is rather unhelpful. None of the logs really showed any appearance of the virtual space in a recognisable way. Possibly because it wasn't important. If Gundham did realise something was off, there would be some obvious flaws in the visuals, but that was about it. "Though...there might be more childhood stuff further down. This is the only one I've seen, but I also haven't finished looking through them all."

"Maybe I'm remembering witnessing Enoshima's trial. I thought there'd been refusals aplenty..." Gundham clicks through a few more iterations of the exact same scenario. They get worse, not better, so it's no wonder Alter Ego abandoned it. In the beginning, his mother is quite sweet. Spurred on perhaps by the pursuit of realism, she grows more curt about the issue as time goes on. By the end of this contained loop, the him in the simulation’s record is noting something odd just by the fact that his childhood dog is in the house at all, evidenced by one that's him plodding onto the back step in bare feet, trying to avoid icy spots and piles of snow, to call for her - and once she's entered the house and shaken the snow off her back and his mother squeals in frustration and balks at his actions like he'd just killed someone in front of her, everything splits apart, and it goes to something else. He huffs, a little annoyed. "I would think there'd be more. Her allowing no demon to cross the threshold of our temple is far from the largest issue that plagues me, I could at least understand her reasoning then, as our space was still consecrated." He scrolls down to where Kazuichi had been before and starts tapping at random, searching for more. There's got to be more. He spent so much time with her. He understands that this was mostly meant to interpret his school life, but… "You have where you were written down, yes? I'm ruining no systematic approach by searching in a different direction?"

"Oh yeah, go right ahead." Kazuichi waves him on, only getting a curt nod in return. Not like his order mattered all that much, it was just easier to ensure he'd seen everything. He can’t help but wonder why Gundham’s so interested. He surely has plenty of memories with his family, so why does he feel the need to go searching for recreations of them? He knows that if he asked he wouldn't get a real answer, so he sees no reason in doing so - he just quietly watches Gundham flip through several scenarios he’s yet to see until he eventually lands on one with the woman again. Kazuichi decides to pay attention to these ones a bit more…if Gundham was seeing things from this far back, it has to mean something, right? Or it ended up meaning something? Or something?

There are none that get as close-but-not-quite as some of the earlier clips. These are...exceptionally graphic. Not in the vomit-sense anymore, but in a different one. Alter Ego had decided at some point to switch to gritty realism, apparently, because one cuts in at the dinner table. Gundham drags the clip forward. In double-speed he watches himself push a fried egg around his plate while his mother…

His face is burning red. Is this really the only other memories of her he can watch on a screen? Her, teary-eyed, lines around her eyes deep and dark and wet and shimmery while she admits dramatically to great and terrible crimes while his younger self hunkers down in his chair, stoic, breaking the food into smaller pieces to make it less intimidating to force down. Unfortunately, the fact that this is all painfully normal means the scene goes on for some time. He doesn't let it stay in place for too long, skipping forward again and again, only to continue seeing her dabbing her eyes and alternating between sitting and standing. She's sitting at the table across from him when speaking wetly, "I know I'm an awful mother," she manages, finally, "I'm so sorry. I don't know why you put up with it," before she falls into more tears. 

Gundham skips forward again. It feels rude. He reminds himself she's not real, even though he'd come specifically to see her. They can come back to this any time. "...Not what I was expecting to come up," he admits aloud to Kazuichi, quietly. A tear hits the edge of his plate in the video as his mother leans over and takes it from him. That must be what does it, because it’s shutters to that one. He sighs. "She'd sooner leave," he explains, and shrugs. "Well. I've seen enough to all but confirm to me that recognition of the simulation is the trigger for each reset." He didn’t get any of the good feelings he came for. All of the interactions with his student peers in school were written like cute highschool comedies, why does it have to be that all his memories of her are awful? Had he really been so broken, even without having the entirety of his memory at hand?

"...really?" Kazuichi seems surprised. He adjusts himself in his seat, bringing one leg up to cross over the other. "I mean, if you say so. But...I'd be asking why those memories came up in the first place." He himself had actually been a bit taken aback the first time he stumbled across a memory so old. Everything had centred around high school or the simulation before that, and while Kazuichi couldn't confirm all of them to be completely real, he could at least see the reasoning for them. But these ones… "I don't know, if the point is to cleanse the mind of what happened and...I guess make you feel like you had a normal teenage life, why did it recreate your childhood?"

Gundham squints. "Perhaps even the machine understood that the undertaking in question was impossible. Even with Enoshima out of power, there would have been no chance for me. It never even occurred for it to try to realign me with humankind. And so in that sense, it failed." Like, look at him. Sure, it couldn't have given him laser tattoo removal or cured the condition marring his face and body rendering them uncanny, rashed and hairless, but it could have maybe...done something to make him a little less like this. Made it easier for him to speak plainly? Made him not feel so terribly ashamed? Something. It had worked within his brain, and all it did was torture him?

Kazuichi raises his eyebrows and sighs, looking away. "I mean...kinda difficult for everything to be normal when you're an Ultimate student. We all did pretty abnormal stuff to get that title. But, well, you're…kind of different, I guess? With..." He awkwardly gestures towards him. With…everything about you. "I mean- I don't think it makes you less human, but..." Yeah, that was entering territory of ‘giving comfort’, something he isn’t even sure Gundham needs (nor is he entirely certain he’s ready to give out himself) so he leaves it at that. "Either way, the point was to make sure we don't enter depressive spirals thinking about everything, and so in that sense, it worked."

There's a slight deflating of Gundham's already looser-than-usual posture at the gesture. He follows the hand with his eyes and looks down his front and then back, looking unamused but not outright dismissive. Contemplative. "Well. Spiral I will not, because I'm not sure even I am capable of conceptualising a world without Hope's Peak." For better or for worse. He leans to the side of worse for now, but honestly, as much as he knows what a terrible nightmare it was for so many, he does have so much fondness in his heart for it. There's a question he's always wanted to ask but never felt like he wanted to know the answer to that his mind hangs on, inspired by the awkwardness in Kazuichi's tone, but in the moment it feels tolerable to venture, "Why do you do that so much? Insist on my humanity?"

"...cause you're a person, aren't you?" Kazuichi shrugs, hooking his hands behind his head. Was there really anything more to it? Did he need to have any more of a reason than that? "You have thoughts and feelings and deserve to be treated as if you do..." What else could he say? He feels awkward even saying that much because it sounds so cheesy but there really isn’t any other way to put it. "If you don't have humanity, then..." he looks away, his shoulders tensing. ‘ Then I'd feel like I couldn't understand you’ is what comes to mind, but he doesn’t want to say that. It sounds so self-serving, especially if...part of it also feels like if Gundham doesn’t have humanity, then how can he really say he himself does? "I-It just sounds self deprecating to reject humanity, okay?"

Gundham feels a little less apprehensive about pulling a snarl now that eyes aren’t on him. "Those aren't human-exclusive traits," he says, even though it isn't relevant - Gundham likens himself to a spirit or a demon, not an animal, though in his detailed world the two could be considered one and the same to a layman. "When did you ever get the notion that my otherworldliness places me below humans? I thought I was very clear that it makes me superior in every way." He keeps prodding, but really, he's intrigued by the answer so far. From Kazuichi of all people he'd assumed something like 'because it's stupid' (unoriginal, nonspecific) or 'you're delusional' (unoriginal, but does kind of hurt…a lot).

Kazuichi makes a frustrated noise. "I know that! You take practically every opportunity to remind me." But it's just so common for someone to deny themselves humanity because they feel less than...and it's not like Gundham hasn't ever done that. Saying he's destined for Hell doesn't sound very positive to him! "I just...I don't know, isn't it nice to be seen as an equal?"

This is both terrible news to receive, and also something that sort of...calms Gundham. In a way. The part of him that still almost believes that all of this was deserved in a cosmic punishment sort of way - that all of the death they've caused was almost righteous - wants to say that humans don't see anything equally to them. Not each other, nor animals, nor the Earth, nor anything. Humans don't care , except about themselves. He's not sure that he's ever… "Have you ever experienced that?"

Kazuichi finally lowers his arms, narrowing his eyes. "Experienced what? Being equal?" He laughs at the question. "Yeah, of course I have! ...I think." His mouth forms an uncomfortable line as he thinks about it, shaking his head. "No- yeah, I'm people's equal right now!"

"I don't know if I have," Gundham admits, quietly, tucking his chin into his scarf and sinking down until the edge of it is up over his nose.

"...you're people's friend. That's about as equal as it gets." He does get it, though. It's hard to say for certain, because there’s no way of truly knowing someone's real thoughts. You might think one thing but the other person thinks completely different...it's exhausting. "I'd much rather if we were equals." Despite it being such a universal thing he feels about most people, Kazuichi can't help but feel a bit embarrassed admitting that.

Gundham can feel his heart thumping in his head. He reaches up and pulls his scarf up higher, until his face is almost entirely engulfed in it, to give himself a barrier between the two of them. "No one likes a complainer," he mutters, partly pointed at Kazuichi and partly to himself. Nobody wants to hear how that doesn't feel true. How he's always purposely tried to skew the dynamic of any friendship to put himself on top...or on bottom. How if he's ever been equal to someone, he'd never let himself believe it. Or enjoy it. Only ever strived for it when he knew it was unobtainable. Like with his teachers. His parents. With adults and professionals. With animals.

Kazuichi gently kicks his knee. "No one likes it if you're a dick when they're being nice." There's an uncharacteristic flinch at the movement, but if Gundham had actually been scared at all, it doesn't show in the way he jams his knee at the foot and then kicks him back with a huff. Yet something about Gundham getting awkward makes Kazuichi feel it too, crossing his arms over his chest as his cheeks grow pink. "I'm serious. We can be equal whether I have to drag you down to my level or you pull me up to wherever you are." They clearly aren’t a traditional pair of friends, but it’s hard to say Gundham isn't...particularly special. Even if they are like sandpaper, Kazuichi can’t deny that whatever they have going is probably the best relationship he's had in a while...so. Shouldn't they try to be closer in some way? A little? 

Gundham sort of laughs, "I don't have the energy to carry you to the top with me. You'll have to put in some self-respect and effort." …But it does sound nice.

"You really think I could reach the same ‘ above humanity’ step that you're on?" Part of him had expected Gundham to say it wasn't possible, but getting that response really solidifies how...nicer their relationship is now.

"Maybe," is the snap Kazuichi gets in return, "If you shed your leaden skin marred with shame. To carry it with you so only serves to make you look pathetic." It's genuine advice, though even he can understand that it may not be the time to get snarky. He quirks his lips into a very brief apologetic frown. "...It isn't unheard of."

Kazuichi's frown returns. He supposes he's not really wrong. Even so, he doesn't comment, standing up in order to be beside him, "That sounds like a lot of effort, can't I just drag you down here instead?"

Though the instinct is there, Gundham manages to tamp down the flash surge of panic that wants him to step back. Instead he re-solidifies his place, setting his feet shoulder-width apart and bracing his arms over his chest, like the fact Kazuichi is here now is some sort of attack to brace for. He looks down on him with a suspicious squint, bristling all over with anticipation for confrontation. But not in a scared or submissive sort of fashion - really, he's leaning into the dramatics. Acting a little bit like a freak ironically makes his nerves lessen significantly in this moment - he's taken on more of a stage fight-readiness, all show and otherwise loose like a bad actor. "Would it not also be a great effort to wrestle divinity from my grasp?"

Kazuichi sort of hums, looking down at his own feet. "Maybe. If I don't think too much about it, we'll be on the same page one way or another, right?" Part of him wants to lean a bit closer to Gundham, but he doesn't. He's not really sure if he wants to fully act on impulses like that yet.

"This is the exact sort of thing I was talking about with the self-respect," Gundham mutters, the looser aspects of his body language becoming clearer as he rubs his upper arm self-soothingly. "You're intelligent, so put some work into it for once, will you?"

"But I put work in all the time!" Kazuichi whines. Sure, he isn’t always the most hard working, but he sure as hell tried his hardest when it really mattered! It wasn't that this was something not worth the effort...more like he had no idea where to start. If people were a puzzle he was yet to solve, Gundham sometimes felt like a step even above that. Other times he was so dreadfully easy to figure out that it almost made sense that he wasn't human. "What about you? Can't you put some work into it too?"

Face reddening with frustration, Gundham goes to ask 'like what' , but he recognizes it as childish as he opens his mouth, so he stuffs it into his scarf instead and bites down on the fabric with a growl. Like taking care of him and his hamsters, like admitting to his faults, like offering him help with his malady. And that's only in the last day or two! He’s been putting work in! "...What would you have me do?" 

...and somehow being asked that embarrasses him. It's not like the question is out of place or it was meant to be weird. Kazuichi just isn't really sure, and thinking about nice things he wants Gundham to do makes him feel... well, he just- he just doesn't want to think too hard about it! "... you're doing a pretty okay job already." He mumbles. Most of the things he'd like someone to do aren't realistic for someone like him, so he keeps them to himself for now. "If we meet each other halfway, we'll do equal amounts of work. I'll bring myself up, you bring yourself down..."

"My skill in pleasing humans has not been exercised in some time." Gundham warns, a little sheepishly. In the Program it had been, but he's still not sure how he feels about that yet - whether that was self-serving or some sort of sacrifice or something in the middle. Kazuichi has made his thoughts clearer on it than he'd ever thought he'd get, which is something, but- "Unlike in other areas, here my success is not guaranteed."

"...I think you'll find it pretty easy." Kazuichi is just easy to please. He knows that all too well and it's not like he thinks of it as overly negative. If anything, maybe it could help Gundham out a bit. He can’t describe how many positive feelings he had just because they'd hugged it out for a little while, though. "As long as you're not a complete jerk...just...do whatever you'd normally do with your- companions. " Is it weird to so easily compare himself to an animal? A little, but it’s probably the best way to get across to Gundham how little extra effort was really required.

So all this really isn't out of some sort of malice, Gundham finally decides. Or, if it is, it's very carefully crafted to appear genuine and fool his senses. That's not impossible, but from Kazuichi, he'd expect some sort of ruse to be a little more forward. Have more hands involved. Be a bit violent, maybe. His lip quirks. That is hard, but as much as his stomach twists, nervous, he can't muster anger.  This is what trying looks like, and he ought to reciprocate, especially when he can't find it in him to explain. He stares pointedly at one of the stools pulled up to the other parts of the console access, partly because he feels a little faint and partly because he needs something to look at that's not Kazuichi's face for the moment being. "I can't express to you any more clearly how willing you must be to accept discomfort. It's not a moral judgement of my own character, it's an inevitability. You will be disappointed. I just need you to know that."

"Discomfort comes with existing." Kazuichi sort of shrugs. "You're seriously downplaying yourself right now." What would he even be disappointed by? He's known Gundham for years, so how much more to him could there really be? Unless of course basically everything about him was a front, which he highly doubts. Does he really not have much confidence in his friend making capabilities? It's not like Kazuichi really knows how to pick them, either.  He leans a little closer, stopping before they touch. Just because he’s more comfortable with the idea isn’t making wanting to be physically closer less embarrassing. "You're not a perfect guy, so what? How can I be disappointed in you when I don't really have an overly inflated idea on who you are?" It sounds a bit rude, but it's true. They didn't start off on great footing, so his expectations for his greatness, naturally…aren't all that high. "As long as you're trying."

Gundham tries not to snort and buries a smirk in his scarf. They’re close enough that when he raises his arms to rearrange it and stuff it under his chin, his arms graze the other's chest. "You don't? Despite my better efforts?"

"I know you're just some guy like the rest of us." Kazuichi crosses his arms over. It's just an accidental touch, he doesn't need to get weird about it. "You can either surprise me by making me think otherwise or you turn out to be a complete ass. That'll disappoint me."

Gundham pulls in a deep breath and holds it, fingers still rubbing the thin material of his scarf between them. This close, he can still see the way Kazuichi's lashes have dried together from the tears earlier. All little clumps, especially on his bottom lid. He does a cursory count in his head. How many times have they tried this in different ways? What reward does he get out of it? What in his animal brain is attached to it?  He reaches out, picks at the partway-open zipper on the jumpsuit and sort of...smooths it down over his chest until it looks presentable. Is it weird that he still wants this? A little bit? "Well. You were warned."

Kazuichi freezes, staring at Gundham's hand. It's...it's nothing, it's an absolutely nothing touch that hardly means anything yet it somehow doesn't feel like that. Why's he getting so freaked out by all of this anyway? It's not like being close is a bad thing, he likes being close with friends all the time, but now that he knows it's okay - now that they've hugged - it's not quite the same. Why does he feel so stupid? "...yeah." he stares off at the ground, a look of confusion over his face. He's not blushing, why would he be blushing, there's nothing to be flustered about! "I'll...keep that in mind so I'm not too upset if things don't pan out."

Gundham sighs. The hand on Kazuichi's chest is light, and then lifts, gently, hesitantly, off of him. He rubs his fingers together, like he's feeling for something, in case there's a film left on him. Apparently he's satisfied, because he doesn't do anything else, just tries not to pay attention to the way his stomach flips. He clears his throat again and turns away from him to pull up another stool, and maybe break a little bit of...whatever this is. Suddenly, he really doesn't want to go sifting through these files anymore. There's not much else to be done, though. He'd rather stay busy, anyway.

Kazuichi stands there for a moment but eventually sits himself back down again as well. He has a job he was meant to be doing and he promised he wasn't going to skip out on it today.  - but even as he scrolls through the files to find where he was up to, he can't exactly set aside his feelings. The fact he can't exactly identify what they even are makes it worse, though. Maybe jumping straight back into routine wasn't the best thing to be doing given how drastic of a change they've just established for themselves. He can't help but focus a little too much on it. Gundham really was that much more comfortable with him now, but what that fully meant was what he kept thinking about. He didn't know enough about Gundham's relationship with other people to know what was normal for him. Why does he care so much, anyway? Even if he's special somehow, what difference does it make? Gundham just likes him, it's not that important! 

Yet now he's finding it a lot harder to watch memories about the two of them. Something has to be wrong with him. Is he nervous about something?

Kazuichi decides to skip ahead to the next scenario, and a few minutes go by of him trying his damnedest to pay full attention to it like he usually does, but he just can't. He's usually alone when he does this, so maybe that's it? "This might get boring pretty quick, so if you don't want to stick around, you don't have to..."

Gundham perches himself up on the seat he's pulled up. He seems to be more invested in the next couple of clips than Kazuichi is, for once. He's not sure he wants to know about their contents, the more he talks to Kazuichi about the whole thing. If it stays unknown, he can pretend it all ended up fine. No, he can't fool himself like that. It's an incomplete dataset. He needs the answers, some way or another, even if not having them would be easier. "Hm?" He sends a glance at Kazuichi, his hands on his pulled-up knees. He's sat like a gargoyle on the seat and lowers his chin down onto the knees, too. "Boring? Hah. The chronicles of my lifetimes could only be described that way if they were so heavily altered as to no longer bear any resemblance..." He tilts his cheek onto the thinning knee of his jeans, "But I guess it sort of is like that, isn't it." He sighs. "Nidai will just make me go outside if I leave. It's dark and cool in here, at least." A little cold , still, actually, but less sandy and sweaty, which is nice. "And my spirit soldiers are sleeping."

That at least he can understand. Kazuichi was forced to do a bit of exercise for a while when they first woke up, but as his body got used to being in the real world again, he stopped doing anything other than the occasional walk to get some sunshine. He doesn't hate being active, but he'd much rather do it by being productive as opposed to going on a run. "Well, if you want to..." He shrugs, for a moment wondering how Gundham is so comfortable sitting like that on such a small chair but he doesn't question it. (Okay, he does a little bit, but not out loud because he's never seen the guy curl up like that in a seat and he doesn't want him to feel the need to stop). "Then we'll just have to make sure we leave around lunch time." Ignoring the fact that they've never walked anywhere together with people around and Kazuichi does not need people thinking it means anything.

"I'll make sure you don't do it incorrectly," Gundham teases, although his stoic expression doesn't explain that. Being tucked into himself helps the temperature problem a little. "I'll keep an eye on the time. You will accompany me to all mealtimes until I feel your sins have been sufficiently paid for." Another light-hearted notion, but he's definitely not kidding. He alternates between watching Kazuichi work - notate and switch between videos, back and forth, working his way down - and resting his own eyes. It's weird to hear his own voice sometimes. He hardly recognizes it, even though by the time he was in high school it was already as deep as it was going to get. It still feels like it's different now. Maybe it's because it's on film.

His 'eye on time' turns into tiny catnaps consisting of low growling snores punctuated routinely with standing and taking a lap around the huge glowing centre console to stretch his legs and return with the clock's displayed time from the hall, despite knowing that Kazuichi could probably gather it himself if he'd just pull his video feed out of full screen. The fact they don’t speak makes the time pass smoother than any amount of time they’ve spent trying to talk it out. With Kazuichi immersed completely it feels wrong in a way to bother him, so Gundham gives him an extra few minutes past what he would consider to be prime lunchtime. It's a little after one in the afternoon when he takes another stroll and returns, still a little cranky and drowsy from dozing (and hungry, now). Without an animal to send in his direction to catch his attention, Gundham has to slink into Kazuichi's sightline himself, and set his foot on the other's chair. He's not in a talking mood, so if Kazuichi has said to him already that nonverbal communication is fine if that's what Gundham desires, he'll give it a shot.

The sudden extra pressure startles Kazuichi slightly, looking up at the other with a confused blink. "What's up?" All he gets is a look. It’s not an intense glare like he might've seen before but a tired, expectant one, which only makes him feel like he’s being tested. He looks away, glancing at the screen and then back up at him. He really needs to get used to Gundham being close to him. "...should we be going to lunch now-?"

Kazuichi receives from him a blank expression, leading, waiting, and then, when his gaze returns, a head tilt, and a second foot on his chair, stepping up. Where Kazuichi is finding himself uncomfortable, Gundham, honestly, feels a bit vindicated. It's an odd sort of vulnerability, but it's not one that Gundham's never given him before. It hasn't gone well when he has. He looks toward the doorway and gives a subtle gesture with his chin, a brief purse of the lips as if to say 'sure, why not?'.

And Kazuichi stares right back, his eyes wide. Gundham's...being weird, right? This isn't really a thing he or really anyone does. Yet his face still turns a bright shade of pink, taking a long time to continue their exchange. There it is again...the thought that this guy can be cute when he wants to be . He clears his throat, looking away as he gingerly places his hands on Gundham’s shoulders to push him back onto his feet properly so he doesn't destabilise him by standing. Gundham not talking isn't new , him being so close isn't new , but the way Kazuichi is experiencing them is, and that makes him feel different about it all in a way.  "W-Well, we shouldn't skip it, so we should!" He doesn't want to know why he's being quiet now, he just wants to be able to focus on something else like eating before his brain comes up with any more ideas on how cat-like he's being right now! "Come on! Food's important!" He insists, smacking his own cheeks as he walks towards the door, as if that’ll make his face turn back to normal. 

Gundham taps the screen to reset it to its default state, hiding their tracks a little, and follows after him. He's moseying on behind, watching the peculiar behaviour from his vantage point, a little amused. The hurrying gets a little bit of blood flowing. Enough for him to chuckle, darkly, while they traverse the labyrinth. What an interesting man. Who the hell is he to try to describe normalcy and humanity to Gundham? Ridiculous.

Chapter Text

The little kitchen is clear of patrons, although chatter can be heard from the dining room directly adjacent. Maybe they can just sort of...grab something and run. It'd be rude, but does that matter, really? Kazuichi grumbles to himself. Is this what it's like being close to Gundham? He can't really decide if he's really okay with any of it, but it's much easier to act annoyed than properly process his feelings. He doesn't want to call the guy weird but it's the easiest thing to call it and still feel like he understands whatever's going on in his chest!

The very first thing Kazuichi does when he enters the kitchen is get himself a drink and chugging half of it, hoping that if something is inside him he can calm down a bit and think more clearly. Is this what it's like being close to Gundham? He can't really decide if he's really okay with any of it, but it's much easier to act annoyed than properly process his feelings. He doesn't want to call the guy weird but it's the easiest thing to call it and still feel like he understands whatever's going on in his chest! He's not sure the water really works though as he finds himself averting his gaze when Gundham walks in after him. "...I can sort out the food for both of us!" He waves a hand at him as the man tries to pick up the kettle. "So you don't need to be in here!"

Gundham scowls over at him, unable to catch his eyes to fully portray his annoyance. He even clears his throat, but gets a hand waved dismissively in his face. "...okay." He mutters, finally, sceptically, and holds up his hands like he's some sort of innocent victim in this situation despite knowing better. As long as Kazuichi doesn't bail on him, it doesn't matter that much what order they arrive in, or who puts in what effort for now. He does get himself out a cup and teabag, though, a not-very-subtle nod that he's still expecting his tea.

When he scoots into the dining room, he's surprised to find that the low voice he'd been hearing is indeed Nekomaru, as he'd expected, but the other one he hadn't been so sure of makes him shiver - Hajime sits at the table with a pen between his fingers, flicking it back and forth. It's been...a minute since he and Hajime have spoken properly, and he's not sure he's entirely interested. Where maybe such a nice guy would decide to politely ignore him beyond a hi-how-are-you, Nekomaru isn't so smooth.

"Hey! I thought I heard you two!" Heard Kazuichi, Gundham thinks, but relents anyway, sitting unceremoniously at the table as Nekomaru grins at him. The two of them must not have been as sneaky as he thought. Or maybe it's all wishful thinking, given he - and Hajime, too, right? - is the one to blame for their reintroduction. "You guys found a project to work on yet?"

When Gundham doesn't respond immediately, Hajime jumps in, "I don't think Kazuichi would be late to meals if he wasn't busy with something, you know, so..."

Kazuichi, meanwhile, is taking the minute alone he has in the kitchen to collect his thoughts and feel a bit more presentable. He's thinking too much about all of this, he knows he is, and he doesn't want to assume Gundham knows exactly what he's doing which makes this all harder. He just needs to let it go. He'd get comfortable with them being a bit too close together if he just calmed down and stopped freaking out so much about it. Though, stopping that meant understanding why he was freaking out so much in the first place...and he really didn't want to do that.

It does take him a bit but he does bring out food and Gundham's tea, all of it very carefully held in his hands. He’s managed to calm down, his face isn't so hot anymore, but he doesn't sit as close to the other as he might've liked to as he puts everything down. He wasn't in the mood to really cook so it's mostly just vegetarian leftovers and fruit for Gundham. Not that it feels weird to eat his food...but Kazuichi doesn't want to risk himself feeling awkward right now. "Oh, hey Hajime! Nekomaru!" He smiles at them, part of him relieved to not have to be alone right now. "Has your day been going alright so far?"

"Uh," As if ready to relay suboptimal news, Hajime pulls a frown and pauses. His moment's hesitation is enough to get the other talking.

"I was just asking that of you!" Nekomaru speaks instead. 

Gundham looks down at the bowl prepared for him - not the worst food in the world. He gets to work immediately unravelling the peel from an orange, and then goes for his tea, feeling a sense of relief wash over him that he's been given something that's fully edible. "Of me , he means."

"Well, of both of ya. But Gundham's sort of the top of my list, bein' newest and all."

"New only to your eyes, my existence has always been eternal. To the young the very wind is novel, despite it having been blowing since the dawn of time."

Kazuichi grins. " Yeah ...but to the rest of us you're still the youngest in the whole class." He can't help but to tease - such a small and petty thing. Gundham scowls. Stupid December birthday. Under the table, Kazuichi gets a kick to the ankle. Might be younger, but he's certainly taller than a good lot of them, and the few extra centimetres makes the extra space he’s put between their seats null and void when it comes to assault immunity.

Kazuichi side-eyes Gundham for a second before clearing his throat to continue. "But...ah...my day's been- alright ." His expression turns awkward as he shovels food into his mouth. Today's moment would remain private, he did not need everyone knowing about the things they talk about. "We've been hanging out. Talking. Nothing interesting but what else is there really?" He sort of laughs, only to get another kick.

"He was in less than legal possession of one of my spirit soldiers. Worry not, for he has been punished to the fullest possible extent." Gundham somewhat huffs, even though Yurei did come home just fine. Hopefully this is enough of a distraction; a stolen hamster isn't a days worth of escapades, and he knows that at least Hajime will peg that, but Nekomaru, perhaps not so much? If he does, he doesn't give any more than the usual thoughtful glower at the story. Certainly doesn't ask for followup details, though he looks like he's pulling in all the details.

"Okay? Kazuichi, I don't think you should do that," but Hajime has more on his mind than babysitting it seems, and pretty quickly shakes himself out of it, voice hitting its Izuru-pitch while he continues off in a different direction. "I'm going to say more about it to everyone just before dinner tonight, but Hiyoko, Mahiru and I are going to start funnelling efforts into Mikan. She's not going to be easy, for...a lot of reasons," reasons he apparently finds no logical reasons to share right now, "but some of the health concerns around here are getting out of control. Fuyuhiko's eye, for one, and even if Nagito were to wake up soon, I'd prefer a second pair of hands to hold all of that mess together. Anyway, I'm letting everyone know in advance that we're going to be in crunch-mode for a little while."

"Mealtimes might be a few people short," Nekomaru adds, solemnly, "and some spots are gonna be off-limits."

"Yeah...that makes sense." Kazuichi nods along. Having Mikan awake and healthy could be good given well...the various bodily mutilations they've all experienced. But he doesn't entirely love the sound of it. He and Gundham would have to do other things with their time. Their little investigation would be put on hold and- what if it means they’ll talk less? "Wait, do you think you can force her to wake up? Is that a good idea?" He’s understandably worried about tampering with whatever the program had going for everyone still inside. He doesn’t know enough about the human mind or how the machine functions to know how safe that really is, but if Hajime thought it could work out. Well, the guy was almost scarily right all the time these days. "How are you going to do that, anyway? I'm assuming you've got a plan."

Hajime's distinct nervous smile crosses his face as his serious nature dissolves for a second, but then he's back to dull-eyed indifference as he rattles off information. "We can't force her without killing her." He confirms with a nod. He looks up at the two of them, and after one glance between the faces opposite him, pulls an odd expression. "Forgive me. I, uh- I don't know if it's something I want to tell everyone about. We won't be forcing her to do anything, altering her life support, or interfering with the current active Program features at all. I promise that."

The dead fish-eye look that he has makes Gundham definitely believe him. He never had extensive contact with Izuru, but he certainly recognizes the heavy tinge. Not that it's even needed - he's not one to doubt Hajime at all, anyway. Not anymore, not after his time in the Program with him. "So even if you were only to place your confidence in the most trusted of individuals, bound by otherworldly magic to tell not a soul of your dastardly plans, you would feel ill at ease?"

"Yeah, something like that."

Kazuichi's not sure if he really likes that answer though. He's interested in this sort of stuff, he wants to know what exactly they're going to do to ensure Mikan is the next to wake. But if Hajime doesn't want to tell him, he can't force the information out of him. He frowns, a little disappointed but forced to accept it nonetheless. "Yeah fine. Do what you feel like you have to do...I trust you not to be stupid." Maybe he'll get to know the answer after all of this and he'll still have his curiosity satisfied that way. But for now he just glances over at Gundham. Gundham catches his eye and scrunches his nose, but otherwise says nothing, just jams three more orange slices into his face and starts to mash around his rice. "Anything you need me to do or is this one just a matter of staying out of the way?"

"I'm mostly sure I know how it'll turn out." Hajime says with an awkward chuckle, scratching his cheek and then using the same finger to tap the side of his head. "If we get Mikan we've got everyone, I think. It knocks down every hurdle. Despair Disease, namely, but also, uh, y'know...blackened. Tenuous reality. Volatile behavior." He seems to think better of this statement because he retracts soon after. "Not to be judgmental about Tsumiki, or anything."

Gundham has, what he identifies a beat too late for his own liking, a pang of jealousy. He's awake and he's a blackened, isn't he? They'd specifically told him they were surprised to see him because of his tenuous reality! He can be volatile… He squints hard, sending his glare at Kazuichi instead of Hajime. What the hell? He has half a mind to spill it just to get the recognition, but he doesn't. He wouldn't. He couldn't. But he makes it clear to Kazuichi that he wants to. Besides, wasn't it Hiyoko who found the notebook in the first place? And now she's on some super secret Mikan-revival wizard squad instead of them?

"...The nature of the thing kinda dictates it's a No-Souda job." Hajime holds up his hands, innocently. "But if it changes, I know where to find you, right?"

Kazuichi frowns, finding himself moving his chair just a little bit closer to Gundham. He can understand why he feels upset at all of that. Personally, he'd assumed the reasoning started and ended with her talent, but clearly that wasn't the case. He'll let Gundham rant about it to him later. Nature... ha, that just sounds like he doesn't trust him to take any of it seriously. "Yeah. Of course." He tries not to sound too upset though. It would be a little selfish to be upset about something so minor anyway. For all he knows, it doesn't even involve his expertise and the girls are there because they're the closest to Mikan's friends they currently have. They had to be looking towards the future so there was no point in getting caught up in petty things. "Any idea how long it all might take or will we just have to wait and see?"

"I want it done in...three days. By then, she'll either be awake and we'll be able to follow the same protocol on everyone else, or we'll need to try something different. I'm pretty sure it's the first one, though. I think. Pretty sure."

"I can keep you boys busy if you need it. It's not good for ya to just lay around down here and worry over things like this, y'know." Nekomaru interjects again.

Gundham grunts in disagreement. "Until I am allowed to grace the canopies unfettered I will be doing naught upon the surface but perusing the extremely occasional tidepool."

"I really can't let you climb those palm trees, bud."

"You could , you choose not to."

"Get a little more colour in you to match that enthusiastic spirit and we'll talk."

"It's okay, Nekomaru. We can figure out stuff to do ourselves. But I will let you know if I'm in the mood to be a bit more active." Kazuichi can't tell if he hates the way that makes it sound like he intends to spend all his time with Gundham or not, but it's true nonetheless. They always managed to figure out how to waste their time around here, why would now be any different?

"I'm always around. And we can always start low-intensity before we build you back up to rock-hard!" Nekomaru slaps a hand onto Hajime's back, an action that has Gundham almost flinching himself, but Hajime is entirely unharmed. Unmoved, even.

"I guess that's everyone. I'll let the girls know when to take their places, then." Hajime looks a little hesitant to stand, but after a moment of internal deliberation, he does with great confidence and looks a little forlornly at the two across from him. "Thanks. For being sorta cool about the whole thing."

Kazuichi squints at Hajime, a confused look on his face. "Uh...yeah, sure? Why wouldn't I be cool with it? Helping everyone is what we're meant to be doing, right?"

"Helping each other, more like," A cabbage leaf wrapped around as much rice as Gundham can stuff into it goes into his mouth - he puts emphasis on the implication Hajime should be asking them for help as he does, but quickly drops it. "...But for now your transgressions are forgiven, Infinite One."

"Thanks, Gundham, honestly."

Gundham makes a low noise, tucks his chin into his scarf, and gives an awkward thumbs-up as the leader and coach take their leave. "Fate funnels me toward the sandy hell at every opportunity, and yet, this is a line I dare not tread over a second time." He mutters down into his almost-empty bowl, now that the room is quiet beyond the surplus of humming machines.

"Huh?" Kazuichi looks over at him as he speaks. He feels like he missed some part of the conversation even though he was sitting right there the entire time. "But...uh...either way, sounds like we need to find something else to do for a little while." He pokes at his food awkwardly. "That sucks, I was getting close to finishing too...I hope we'll be able to continue once they figure this all out." Though he can't help but wonder why they're trying to coax people out halfway through this whole ordeal. Perhaps it's one of those not ideal but required sort of things.

"It's not as if we were conducting our research with perfect scholarly rigidity to begin with, I suppose." Gundham shrugs, setting an elbow on the table and leaning against his hand. Not bad for him, and he doesn't even try to hide his lack of disappointment. He's starting to grow wary of what those last files may contain - or fail to contain. He wants to yank Kazuichi into the seat directly beside him, but squirrely as he is when nervous, he'd broken away before Gundham got the chance. No matter now, though, as Kazuichi's decided all on his own to come closer still to the source of all his worldly burdens, the great curse giver. "Maybe now is a time to retreat to recount findings." He can't say he's excited to be bored, though. The books around here can only provide him so much stimulation. He's already read through the ones he'd found a few days ago and taken all the notes he could force himself to take interest in. Maybe with more dire straits, the economic workings of little European countries he can't pronounce will be enthralling enough to demand he put together flashcards. He sighs, a little deflated, himself.

"I usually do that while I'm watching." Kazuichi sighs as he continues to eat. It really had been taking up so much of his time that he can’t really think of anything he’s really interested in doing. Maybe he can get away with nicking the toaster for a little while to tear it apart but even then, that would only provide so much, he needs something that can last him a few days. Maybe he should have taken up Nekomaru on his offer. That would at least keep him busy. Kazuichi goes silent for a moment, glancing over at Gundham. Well, there's no reason they need to be apart the whole time...and that would just hinder them in the ‘ trying to be equals’ mission, wouldn't it. "...We've been focusing a lot on what interests me," he began, shifting in his seat slightly. "Now that at least Yurei likes me...maybe you could...teach me some things."

"Yurei puts up with just about anybody." Gundham says as he parcels up leftover nibbles for the hamsters. "I'm in the midst of demilitarising them. But if you want to be a test subject…"

"I mean...I don't mind." Kazuichi awkwardly laughs. Not that he's entirely sure what that even means, but he won't skip out on the opportunity to busy himself. "But this is also me giving you full permission to say whatever you want on the subject without argument." It's no secret Kazuichi has always been a little interested in Gundham's animals. He is human after all and resisting deceptively cute creatures is not something he can do. For a long time though he hardly paid much attention to him when actual information about them was being said...but things are different now and he wouldn't mind actually having some idea on what hamsters should be eating if they're going to hang out in his clothes.

Gundham, however, narrows his eyes suspiciously. He's eaten. He's slept. He's not had anything ridiculously devastating happen to him. They talked a little. He's not dehydrated. Has he contracted some sort of disease? He hadn't been actively aware of being wary of Kazuichi before, but now he can feel himself bristling a little. "I would have said what I wanted regardless of your permissions or their consequences, you are not capable of enacting any meaningful punishment on me ." He barely says it before he realises that it's not exactly playing nice, but he's not really in the business of taking things back. "...Argue with me if you must, is what I mean. I will persevere."

Kazuichi frowns, leaning back in his seat as he pushes the remainder of his food around. His tone is different, he can tell, but it's not new. He's not even sure why he cares so much. "Maybe I don't want to argue." He mutters but with how quiet the room is, it doesn't do anything for how well he can be heard. He completely understands where Gundham is coming from, not always being great to one another has kind of always been their thing, but Kazuichi likes to think he's a better man now than to try and get someone angry for the sake of it. He doesn't even like conflict that much yet he started it at every opportunity because he felt bitter. He doesn't feel bitter about Gundham anymore. He gets a very normal amount of annoyance from him.

"Peace will be attempted." Gundham ties up his little snack bindle and then takes his teacup into both hands, warming his palms on it a little. Kazuichi, to him, has just always been an especially hormonal, testy sort of guy. Emotional. He never took it especially personally, not any more personally than he takes...everything everyone does. "Finish. I'm going to take the rations to the soldiers as soon as possible."

"Yeah, sure." Kazuichi finishes up his food, stacking up the dishes to take them back to the kitchen and soon follows behind as they head back to his room.

***

Gundham is very quiet as he enters his room, and does some observation before he even goes opening cage doors - clicking his tongue quietly, tapping, until one of them stirs. It's one Kazuichi hasn't been as recently introduced to - a little grey thing with a white belly and bleary, gooey eyes, obviously having just been rousted from a very deep sleep. Gundham squats down to meet where he crawls from his bedding and opens the door, rubbing his fingers together quietly. "Hi. Good morning." He mumbles, and the hamster yawns, just a little, silent flash of teeth and cheeks pouches. Gundham unwraps his treats and lets them sit atop his knee on the napkin and starts prodding around, producing a couple of grains of rice stuck together on the end of one of his fingers to the newly-interested hamster.

Kazuichi awkwardly hangs back as he watches, keeping a respectable distance but still paying attention to how he handles them.  "So...what kinds of things do they eat?" He's trying his best to make conversation and seem interested with one thing he knows he actually is a bit curious about.

"In their waning wilds? Grains, plant matter, insects. In captivity? Pellets. And treats. Yes, treats..." Gundham's voice stays dark and deep, but takes on a distinct tone when he's speaking to the little beast. Once he's munched on one and stowed another away into his cheek, Gundham finally reaches for him and scoops him right up into both hands, holding him up to his face. The hamster reaches out to touch his nose and scrambles over his face onto the top of his head, clumsily, slowly.

Kazuichi can only sit and stare. Gundham is never so gentle as he is when he's handling an animal. He hadn't taken much notice for a long time but after spending more time together and watching the guy's memories, he has to admit it's a bit...fascinating how easily they seem to calm him down. (Briefly, a memory of a time he'd rather forget comes to him. The image of Gundham holding dangerous or dying creatures as if they were the only things that loved him. All it proves to himself is that the affection has always been there...it's only now Kazuichi cares to notice.) He nods along, shuffling just a little bit closer. "So if you can eat it, they can eat it?" That might not be on purpose, but if it is, that's kind of adorable. "What's this one's name?" He points to the hamster tangled in his hair.

"Hamsters aren't lactose intolerant, though." Gundham mutters, as if he’d like to deny the question but just can’t. "But when it comes to other things that certain animals ought not to eat like avocado, chocolate, grapes, and onions, they do almost just as fine as humans in that regard, as long as you make sure to only feed them portions fitting for their size." He quite likes rodents for this trait. Not that he isn't willing to commit to absolute memory every single dangerous food for any of his companions - he is, and he does! - it's just sometimes more fun to have a little friend you can share almost every single meal with, at least in portions. "Verdant Soul-Field's Acting Reaper, Reikon!" He says it with an artificial boom, muted so that Reikon is mostly undisturbed. "...Bloodline of my cosiest carries on in him. He should be safe to approach to the uninitiated."

"Reikon..." Kazuichi nods. He thinks he likes this theme the best so far. He would ask if there was any reason each generation had its own naming convention but figures that’s probably not information Gundham would readily dish out (assuming there even was a reason). But these names were definitely easier for him to remember...or maybe he's just trying a bit harder to get to know these ones. "He seems pretty comfortable there." There's a small smile on his face as he watches the hamster, something far more endearing about it now that he actually knows what it feels like to have them crawling around on him. "What else should I know about hamsters?" It's the first time Kazuichi has ever heard Gundham call them what they are. He sort of wants to poke him about it, but if he does that it'll only make it harder for the both of them. "I'm always worried I'm going to hurt them but these ones seem pretty durable...or maybe just fearless."

"Their bodies are fragile. They have tiny bones and delicate organs, but I also have made sure that they're bred in such a fashion that their bodies have the best chance at lasting the tests of time. They are also extremely fast, coordinated, and can survive many times their weight upon them, pull great weight, and can absorb impacts doled to them by their natural avian predators." Gundham seems more than happy to ramble off answers to whatever question he’s presented with. "The most fearless among them are not often the longest living, honestly." He says as he goes back to clicking and tapping on the adjacent enclosure. "They also like being in enclosed areas. They live in burrows, mostly, so having a lot of space to dig is crucial. This is why they like to hide in clothes, too. Enclosed, warm, and dark spaces are easy on their eyes and comfortable on their bodies. They're nocturnal, too, so I try not to bother them extensively during the day, but even Reikon wakes up for treats. See?" He points to the top of his head while he goes to pull open the cage door that now has Shiryo clinging to it, little tiny knuckles white as he bounces excitedly, waiting for Gundham to release him from his prison.

It's nice just listening to him. Hearing the way Gundham is when he’s trying to be informative makes Kazuichi understand why he had so many apprentices so early on. He wouldn't consider himself a very good teacher, but he can certainly ramble on a bit. Gundham meanwhile might not be very expressive, but there's a clear passion in what he says. He can kind of see why he chose them as his everyday companion as opposed to other species. Kazuichi nods. "It's kind of hard to imagine them being out in the wild though..." Smaller pets like that are mostly only seen in pet stores these days. Them being nocturnal probably contributed to the low likelihood of seeing them, but he'd never even considered what they'd be like if they weren't in captivity. "I don't think I've ever seen a picture of them as anything other than domesticated. Where would they be native to?"

"A variety of places. Only a few species of hamsters have been domesticated. Almost anywhere in Asia or Europe - especially Russia and China, wherever there's large swaths of soft ground. Many of them are endangered or vulnerable." Shiryo goes into the scarf. Gundham’s not sure he trusts him around Kazuichi. Out of the two hamsters that he was given to be with briefly, he doesn't imagine Yurei was the one to bite. Who's next? "Realm destroyer, contempt incarnate, Mononoke..." He explains, idly, as the third one enters a sleeve. Once she's down in there, he gestures for Kazuichi to come closer and opens his knee toward him where the very precarious pile lies. "Communicate to your little friend your desires. Her nap should have perked her up since this morning."

"Wait- seriously?" As much as he likes the hamsters, that's a little much. Kazuichi was never great with animals so trying to coax one even with the promise of food didn't feel very plausible. "They hardly listen to me, are you sure that would really make a difference?" He asks as he picks up a bit of the food. Well, it's worth a shot. If anything he's tolerated by the hamsters so they shouldn't be too turned away from him. Still. Living things aren't his expertise. "What if I do it wrong?"

"I will let you in on a secret: they don't listen to anyone. They don't speak the same tongue as you. Whatever you say to them will be disregarded unless it's backed up by physical encouragement or the promise of some advantageous result. If the animal likes you, you're already there. After that, all you have to do is figure out how to communicate to them your desires and intentions without sharing a language." Gundham says that, but that can be fairly difficult sometimes. It just never really occurred to him not to try. He makes a face and raises his arm to provide Mononoke a flat area to squeeze through his sleeve. "If you do it wrong then she won't do what you want her to. I don't think you're going to smite her, are you?"

"If you say so..." Kazuichi pulls himself a little closer with an awkward look on his face. He was a bit more comfortable around the hamsters now that he's spent some time around them, but he's only just met Mononoke. He doesn't know what she's like and, given his past experiences, he's understandably weary of how she could potentially be. He tilts his head and leans in to be able to see the hamster still in his sleeve, placing a piece of food on Gundham’s palm to try and lure her out.

"If she bites, stay calm." Gundham has the urge to glance away from how close they are but can’t seem to make himself.

Kazuichi glares at him briefly. "I've been bitten by them before..." So he knows damn well making too much of a scene isn't a good idea with them. He turns his gaze back to the grey ball of fur. "...hi, Mononoke." He says quietly to her. In the sleeve, the little hamsterbutt wiggles - her little tail flickers and she squirms, working to turn herself around. Soon, a little face smushes out and comes barreling toward him at full hamster-speed. Gundham cackles, feeling her sprint toward the food. Her cheeks are all puffed up, obviously full of pellets from inside her cage's dish, so when she sniffles around at the little piece of carrot, she takes a second to rearrange them, massaging the sides of her face and occasionally sticking a tiny pink hand out to touch Kazuichi's fingers as if to remind him that she's still coming back for the food, just give her a second. Kazuichi gently smiles as he watches her. He doesn’t really need to know an awful lot about these creatures to know that he likes them to a degree...at least when they weren't aggressive. "I don't think I could get used to them crawling around in my clothes." He says as she watches her. "...but they're pretty cool. It was nice hanging out with Yurei yesterday."

"It ensures I maintain my personal hygiene." Gundham shrugs, but only with one shoulder, making sure the arm with the hamster below it is undisturbed. He decides not to say that Yurei informed him of his foul mood when she’d returned. Mononoke spits out a little damp pellet and leaves it in Kazuichi's palm, making the boy grimace, before packing away the carrot and sniffing around, looking for more.

Kazuichi picks up another piece of food and holds it in front of her, his smile returning to him as she takes it from him. "Have you always had hamsters or are they a more...new thing in your life?"

"I've had hundreds of them." Technically true, but maybe not the question Kazuichi is asking. "The Devas were the first ones I had propagated and raised on my own. I kept one from each litter from that season. I was fourteen. Before that, I worked with pomeranians. Before that, it was rough collies and colour canaries..." Gundham slowly eases himself to sit down on the floor properly so he can lean his elbow on a propped knee. "But they were the first thing other than dogs that were allowed to exist within the higher realm. The pet store variety." He thinks back to his first hamster, actually, and stuffs his resulting blush into his scarf.

Kazuichi glances over at him, the hint of a laugh as his other hand comes up to gently pet Mononoke. "Fourteen wasn't too long ago, but that's cool. Closest I ever got to animals before meeting you were neighbourhood strays." He could remember a few around where he used to live, how cats seemed to like getting into the garage no matter how many times he made sure everything was properly shut before heading to bed. "I've heard you've worked with all sorts of animals though. You probably don't need me telling you how impressive that is..." It's why any of them were even here in the first place. Not that Kazuichi would call his talent nearly as impressive as bringing an entire species away from extinction. "I think hamsters were a good choice though."

"You say that…" Gundham mutters, but he watches fondly as Kazuichi decides to get close to the hamster whose title is 'contempt incarnate'. He still feels so old, being suddenly shunted into this body, and he's nearly the youngest in their class. "Of course they were. They're ephemeral, but so intelligent. And friendly. And cute. And diverse...and complex." He gets so into hyping up hamsters that he nearly misses the other part of what Kazuichi said - he scowls. Impressive? Sure, yes. Extremely. But a little out of place to be said, surely...! He had been blushing over something else entirely, but now is biting the inside of his scarf on account of the... is it praise? Being put upon him? By Kazuichi Souda? "Surely you aren't testing the modesty of Clan Tanaka."

"Huh?" Kazuichi looks up at him again. Gundham's expression is an interesting mix between annoyance and his usual fluster. ( ...cute. ) "Why? Do you consider yourself modest?" He half teases as he tries to coax Mononoke into his palm.

"No!" He says, a bit too loudly, and Mononoke startles, deciding to take her chances with the new guy and scrabbling into his palm. "But you have recently formed a pact with me that demands I be so, at least to some degree, and now you tempt me with tales of my grandeur?"

Kazuichi helps the hamster burrow into his clothes before he leans in closer with a grin. "I did say this is your chance to say whatever you want. Trying hard to not come off as egotistical?" Though, the closer they are and the longer he stares, Kazuichi can feel his face becoming hotter. After a while, he clears his throat and leans back again. "Well...being modest, you can just say thank you."

Gundham squints and snarls a little, but doesn't lean away - in fact, he holds his breath and sets his jaw tightly and leans just a little bit closer. He wants to be in charge, here! That grin on Kazuichi's face is making him turn so red he feels like he might explode. "I didn't take you seriously. You shouldn't give me that power. You wouldn't like what I did with it." …That wasn't modest, was it? He purses his lips and then ekes out a ‘thank you’ trying not to sound bitter over it, shuffling a little where he's sat. He's not seventeen anymore, it shouldn't be that easy to unnerve him just by having someone cute in his vicinity.

Kazuichi shrugs, looking away as he pulls himself closer to sit next to Gundham. "You're kind of annoying when you go on and on...but being proud of your accomplishments while we're talking about them is fine." He sits close enough so that their arms are just touching, watching Mononoke crawl around under his clothes.

This, Gundham peels away from - just a little, hunching his shoulders barely enough so their arms aren't brushing anymore. They don't feel like accomplishments anymore. Not after he'd singlehandedly done so much to reverse some of his greater deeds toward animalkind, and done nothing to maintain the others. But… "In freshman year I went on a school-sponsored expedition. I met an elephant calf that had been born while I was in India." He says, very quietly. "She was two days old." What he does do, though, is place a couple of fingers onto the little hamster-lump making her way up Kazuichi’s arm, giving it a little scritch and making Mononoke stop and wiggle. He chuckles at her. "So what I mean is it has always been me and many others, including the animals. They do well to help themselves. It's one of the reasons I like them."

Kazuichi sort of laughs, gently elbowing him. "Yeah, that is kind of how those sorts of things go." Hearing Gundham downplaying himself is a little impressive actually. It makes him seem a little more obtainable. "But what you do do, you're good at. I don't think anyone can deny that unless they really don't know what they're talking about." For example, unlike himself, Gundham was actually mildly famous before being brought into Hope's Peak. He had fans and notable achievements...which probably contributed to Kazuichi's feeling of inferiority to him. There's a breath of silence between them, Kazuichi keeping his eyes focused on Mononoke so that he's not surprised by any of the moves she decides to make. At one point, the silence might've been awkward, but in some ways it's not as glaring anymore. "...you know, when you talk like that, you sound like a really nice guy."

"I am." Gundham agrees, easily, although there's still some feeling within him that maybe Kazuichi doesn't fully understand. He doesn't have to at this exact moment. Maybe they'll have time to talk about it more, right? They're alive, and so for once he ought to take that like a serious opportunity. He squints and elbows him back, harder than he'd gotten it. He doesn't mean to escalate it, he really doesn't, he's just not sure what else to do. What do you do in this sort of situation? "W-...good fortune upon you, then, that it is not easy for me to do so and I shall not be doing it often."

That only makes Kazuichi smile wider, laughing even more as he leans back on his hand. His arm hurts a bit but he can't find it in himself right now to care. "Yeah yeah, I know. If your brain isn't working in overdrive every time you open your mouth, you're not really talking." He's not even sure what it is he's feeling at the moment. He should be at least whining a little bit but he's not. It's...sort of like his friendship with other guys but at the same time… When was the last time he'd felt so light? He looks over at Gundham and stares. It's as if his brain says everything all at once leaving him with nothing to go off of. Or perhaps the one thought so clear in his mind is the one he doesn't want to acknowledge, feeling something inside tingle with nervousness as his face turns red and he looks away. Damn it, why does he have to feel so weird?! "I...I shouldn't..." He swallows, not even sure if he's talking to himself or the other. "I should probably stop teasing you." He mumbles.

Gundham can only stare at him, his gentle laughing replaying in his mind even as he turns away. "...Being funny is one of my many talents, you're allowed to acknowledge it for once."

Kazuichi is silent for a long moment. "Funny...yeah..." He can't say for certain if that's what he'd thought it was, but what else would it have been? He awkwardly moves closer, leaning against Gundham's arm without putting his full weight on him. "Then maybe you should be funny more often." His gaze is fixated on the floor, suddenly feeling terribly self conscious but not in the same way that makes him want to put distance between them. Because he's trying to be nice and actually spend proper, normal time with him. Right?

"I'm funny quite often! If you spoke of the same language then perhaps you would understand!" Gundham goes to raise his arm and gesture angrily, but after a twitch and realising that there's at least some weight on him, he stops. The hand that's come up off the floor is set back down over top of Kazuichi's. He knows his hands are cold. He hopes it doesn't bother him. "You've put all that effort into being fluent in English but still can't attempt me." He scoffs. "Truly another sign that I am far beyond human comprehension as a whole. If Sonia were not such a beacon of humanity's finest, I would decry you all."

Kazuichi half pouts. "I'm better at understanding you than lots of people." It's mostly exposure that taught him. Sometimes Gundham's words are still puzzles, but he can at least somewhat hold a conversation with the guy. He can feel his own fingers twitch, trying to focus on talking instead. It's weird. There's no jewellery or clothing to obstruct the feeling of his skin and...it's not new. He keeps telling himself none of this is new but his brain is reacting as if it is. He tells himself to pull away yet his arm feels frozen in place. He feels as if the second they leave each other's line of sight he's going to have a complete meltdown. "Sometimes you just have names for things that I haven't heard you use before so it's hard to know what you're talking about." He can't even bring himself to react much to the tiny claws on his skin. "I'm paying more attention to what you say now too..."

"Yes." Gundham agrees, quietly, and sticks his face into his scarf - that way, their skin has no chance of touching when he takes inventory of his body (and the two hamsters scuttling around within his clothes), leans his folded knees in Kazuichi's direction, and sets his temple against the shoulder near his head. "I've always been entrenched within it, the curse, so." So he's used to it. "And besides, there have been occasions aplenty where I have turned a new page in my great tome of secrets and brought new spells to life." Which is to say, he's changed things when he feels like people are catching on too much before. He likes this. Gundham likes this more than he ever thought he would. Humans sizzle and bubble and boil his skin, and in turn he infects them with plague. When before he's been touched by Kazuichi, that's how it was. He thought he wanted that. He thought— He curls his fingers around Kazuichi's hand and squeezes, feeling ill. He's not sure what it is he wants. Especially not in relation to this, now. If he wants a gentle touch or if he wants it unforgiving and rough. If he still has a teenage crush, or if somehow he should have found something to replace that with, something more mature. He has no fucking idea.

Kazuichi can't think of any appropriate response. The only thing he can focus on is how loud his heartbeat is becoming. They're so close and for a second he thought Gundham's curse was real because he felt like he was going to die. Sitting like this is normal, holding hands is normal, being nice and talking is normal so why can't he form a coherent thought!? His hand moves in a way that makes it clear he doesn't know what he wants to do with it, opting to just curl it into a fist even though that presses Gundham's fingers into his palm. He can feel his nails and how their temperatures are starting to even out between them. Kazuichi wants to bash his head into a wall, is he seriously panicking so much? "Y-Yeah..." He manages to get out, his words trembling slightly as he takes a deep breath. He's trying so hard to engage in the moment and enjoy it, but the fact he can't figure out what his brain is doing is making him feel more and more anxious. "It'd...it'd probably be better if you stayed consistent with me. I'm a literary idiot." He says with an uncomfortable sort of smile, awkwardly laughing to himself.

"You haven't incurred the full extent of my wrath yet, you will continue to get no favourable treatment from me." Is all Gundham can say. He can't say without lying that Kazuichi has been impressive at it, but, well. Passable, at least, in that he's not dead, right? Despite the cover conservation playing out, and despite knowing very well that it's something both of them are hiding behind, he can't help himself but venture a: "Are you alright?"

The sound that Kazuichi makes is one that makes it clear the answer is not really but like he's trying to be lighthearted about it. His brain feels like a mess and his entire body is hot. He wants to leave this very moment and find someone else to vent the feelings out with but he's been incapable of moving himself away the entire time. "I'm fine! Super fine! We're hanging out and being friends, what could be wrong?!" That's what he's been trying to tell himself yet so far it hasn't really worked. The smile he has on his face hurts his cheeks, his breathing starting to become louder and more obvious.

"Don't cry again." Gundham says, gruffly, and lifts both of their hands. If he weren't worried about it happening, he'd just wriggle his way out of Kazuichi's grip. Instead, he holds their hands up and stares at the other over them. The very specific way Kazuichi labels him platonically, and a little distant at that, obviously frustrates him, the scowl on his face deepening. He should be happy that he has this much, especially when just a few days ago they'd have been hard pressed to even call each other that - friends. But the short high of shaky reciprocation is being pulled out from underneath him, and very human-like, he falls as he's destabilised. "Is that what it was? Friendship?"

It's only then that Kazuichi looks over at him, the sudden question and shift in position actually helping him just a bit and making his expression drop slightly. Not by a lot, but something in Gundham's expression is mildly relieving to whatever it is he's feeling right now. Even so...he doesn't think he'd fully understand him even if he wasn't so scattered right now, glancing over at their hands. "Wh-What what was?" They've had too many dynamics to count and while he's fairly certain he knows exactly what he's referring to...he'd much rather get clarification.

Gundham grits his teeth. Near his jaw under his scarf Shiryo is grooming his skin, feeling the thrum of his angry heart, feeling the flush rise into his face. He's shaking slightly, and the hamster isn't able to keep him calm. He's not sure if the shuddering is nerves or if he really is that full of rage. His stomach hurts. He doesn't release the deathgrip he has on the other. "Lacing me up within my silken prison and cutting me free at your leisure. Defacing my vessel, defying my masses and carrying on." Dressing me. Undressing me. Sitting on my chest with a machine of your own design rumbling in your palm, marking me. Surviving through retaliation. And then he adds, quieter, something that happened much less often, but still holds a place in his memory. "Warming my body."

And Kazuichi hates that this conversation is coming up now when his everything is being weird. He stares at their hands for a moment before his knees draw closer to his chest, looking away. His expression is more honest about his internal freakout but his face is still deeply red. "No- that was..." what even was it? He wants to say despair , that's what he thought it was or perhaps what it used to be, but he has no idea anymore. "Don't say it like that." He instead whines. Because despite not fully admitting it to himself, about ten minutes ago, Kazuichi had found himself wanting to be a little too close. At first, he decided against it because there was no telling how either of them would react...and after he'd started telling himself how selfish and horrible that thought was until it all blended together into a mix of memories and new desires he didn't fully understand.

"Earlier, you apologised." There’s a dizzying mix of frustration and fear and adrenaline and confidence in Gundham’s chest. "I want to know if that was to excise all of it and leave it behind. If it is, I'd like to request that you stop touching me."

Kazuichi stares for a long moment. He's really not sure what he wants, everything's coming at him so fast and he's not even been given time to figure out what the hell all these feelings are right now. But after a few seconds it hits him that he's clearly not sure on what Gundham wants either. "...do you...not want to forget about it?" He has to admit, there are still some scarily attractive things in those memories, but he'd been cruelly sadistic through most of it. Gundham was so hard on his stance with this like morals and he didn't want to leave behind the time a no only brought more enthusiasm?

"I didn't say that." Gundham snaps - he has no issue waiting for a response, but he wishes they'd be...easier? There's no world in which he would admit to ever being upset or afraid in those moments, and Kazuichi isn't making that hard line he's drawn for himself in his head easy to stay behind. But he barrels on forward. "...I told you I missed you, didn't I? And you, me? Couldn't we..." he searches for the words, but can't find them, and ends up spitting, plainly, "do something else?"

Kazuichi blinks hard, trying to pull together his thoughts into something he can communicate. Actually, the pain of Gundham holding his hand so tightly and the way that he's speaking is somewhat grounding. It makes everything feel closer to the normal he was telling himself it was the entire time. "I thought you just meant the day we weren't together..." His eyes finally trail away, pressing his other hand to the centre of his own chest. "...what do you want to do?"

Gundham lifts his head and takes his chin from his scarf and sets it on top of the fabric, runs his tongue over his bottom lip. Somewhere within the ball of fingers between the two of them, he's digging pits into Kazuichi's palm with his nails. He tugs on the point of contact, trying to coax him closer, tilting his chin toward him and leaning in, moving closer by just a breath, but obviously a silent question. He hopes it isn't clear that he doesn't know what he wants. He hopes he looks confident. He hopes he looks in control.

Kazuichi’s eyes go wide and he seems to stop breathing. His ears start to ring, the room is suddenly far too hot, and it's like he doesn't blink for an eternity. It scares him that no one has ever seemed more attractive than Gundham is right now. They can't even see each other properly because they're so close, but Kazuichi feels locked in place. He almost doesn't want to say or do anything. "You trust me...?" He speaks quietly, able to feel his lips tremble in...he can't tell anymore.

"You told me I could. Don't make a fool of me." Gundham mumbles, slowly closing what space remains - so achingly, terribly slowly. Slowly, to gauge his reaction - slowly, to gauge his own reaction - as he watches himself, from every other possible angle, with eyes of the universe, with unrelenting surveillance of his every twitch and shudder, as he kisses him. There's a moment where Kazuichi is still frozen, the moment it washes over him and he tries to decide what it is he's meant to do. He still doesn't understand himself. He's still so terrified that it will all lead to something horrible. Yet his whole body tingles and he feels weak in a way he's never felt before. And in the brief time they're touching, Gundham's hold on his hand relaxes a little, letting the blood flow back into his fingers for a second. Shiryo, being directly next to Gundham's cheek, peeks out and gives a little nose-touch to Kazuichi, too, like his own little awkward kiss. When he pulls back, both Gundham and the normally rowdy hamster are staring directly at him.

"Can we..." His voice dies. He purses his lips inward to run his tongue over them. "Just...start...smaller."

Kazuichi swallows as he tries to steady his breath, nodding just enough to not accidentally hit him. "S-Small...yeah, small's fine." Not that he's fully sure what that means. Are they dating or does Gundham just want them to be...overly affectionate sometimes. A hand comes up to rub his face as he turns away, trying to help himself think straight but he's not sure he'll be able to keep his thoughts in order around him from now on. "Just...hugging...and kissing...t-that's fine." 

Somehow, he doesn't feel better. But he does feel different. He doesn't feel like he's gearing up to kill , which is probably good. Gundham nods, slowly, a little numbly, and then he plants his forehead directly onto Kazuichi's shoulder with a grumble. Up his side, Mononoke squirms to greet Shiryo, who's apparently decided to board the enemy ship. Finally, Gundham makes some attempt at readjusting the way their fingers interact - pulls his over Kazuichi's knuckles, laces them slow and blindly. "...are you alright?"

Kazuichi closes his eyes, his fingers loose but receptive to the change in position. Bluntly, he feels overwhelmed. It's a lot to process in such little time, part of him wondering if this was something Gundham had been thinking about all along. But he shakes his head. "I just...need a bit to calm down." Though who's to say that will even end up happening any time soon. "What about you?"

Gundham is…he's disappointed. He's ill. He's leeching all of the warmth that he can out of the touch - he's being self indulgent, he's punishing himself. What can he say? How can he say it? "I will live. I am unkillable." He says, finally, and lifts his head off of the shoulder with a (hopefully) dignified sniffle, and untangles their fingers. His hand is clammy. He wipes it on his pant leg. "I will be okay. Thank you."

Kazuichi can't tell if he's upset or grateful when he pulls back, just sort of nodding along and shoving his hands into his lap. It'll all make sense after a little while, right? "Yeah. Sure." He looks away. "So...do you want to spend all day together or do you need time to...sort things out?"

"Well. You now have abducted two of my soldiers." Gundham sits back, scooting himself to sit a little further away, still within a comfortably casual distance. He gestures to him with his chin and then tucks himself back away into his scarf with a short shrug. "So return those, and you can do whatever you'd like. I'm sorted," he lies, "what chance did you really think there was that I, with my dominion over all evil, including a bewitching command over that which has been used against me, was as lost as you?" He folds his arms, in the moment totally unaware of how it makes him look...well, not very mature, at the very least.

It's only then that Kazuichi notices the little chirps near his ear and the gentle tugging on his hair. If Gundham hadn't mentioned it, he totally would have walked out of there with them again. He reaches up blindly to pet one of them as he frowns. "I didn't say I was lost..." he grumbles but...he definitely is. Gundham acting so cool about it isn't helping that feeling either. Kazuichi's not sure what any of this means for both himself and their relationship. He'd seemed so annoyed by the idea of being just friends so...were they always going to skip that stage? He also didn't have to sound so mean about it.

"You wear your inner monologue on your back," he says, "Which you would not even need to do, for I could read you even if you did hide them well." That is fully not true. He's good at making logical deductions based on normal human behavior, but they're all far from that now, and he never was any good at figuring out how people felt without the crutch of perfectly logical analysis. He raises his hands to rub his face, hoping to wipe away the frustration pooling in his cheeks. He turns back to the cage to bother Yurei, the only remaining hamster still inside, and with his back to Kazuichi, finds it a bit easier to speak. "I think everyone is. I'm…refraining from bestowing divine punishment for such a thing. I'm okay."

Yurei apparently senses that she's needed, because he hasn't so much as opened the little door and she's already sticking her nose out of the bedding and wiggling her way up to the surface from where she'd buried herself. Still covered in little paper shreds, she yawns and reaches out for him, crawling up onto him - outside his coat - and lumbers up his arm to sit sort of halfway clinging to his chest, sniffing him rapidly. "I'm going to turn off the room light and leave the bathroom's on. It's easier on their eyes while they're out playing if the place is dim. Okay?" He's lucky they don't see especially well, because he does feel as if he may lose his little companions if they were to spy the remaining lunch sitting on the napkin on the floor.

"Yeah, okay." Oh yes sure, make him feel all weird with a kiss and then sit in a dark room together. That was going to make everything better. Kazuichi has no idea what he’s supposed to do now. Should he try to go talk to someone about this? Talking directly to Gundham about it is an absolute no because he could not focus with him right now! With Shiryo tangling himself in his hair and Mononoke resting on his collarbone, he couldn't really leave anyway. One of them he'd be able to successfully pry off of himself, the other one would probably be a bit more of a battle. Though, for as awkward as the silence is, not being able to see Gundham as well kind of helps in trying to calm himself down. His nerves are not going to completely die out any time soon, he doubts it'll even be gone by tomorrow, but being able to shuffle back to lean against the bed and breathe helps him start organising his thoughts. Plus it's probably a good thing he can sit and think about it before having a complete freak out in front of someone.

Part of his worry comes from how sure Gundham seems of himself right now. Sure, it might not be real, but Kazuichi has no reason to believe it's not. If Gundham knows what he wants while he's still pretty confused, that could lead to complications. He thought they were just trying to be friends properly regardless of the past whereas Gundham had been thinking about everything more than he had let on. And also...all these things had come on to him so fast. One second he's thinking about him being maybe possibly cute and denying being gay only for the universe to turn around and give him a kiss that leaves him confused and a little horny. That didn't feel fair at all, he should at least be given time to process one of his feelings fully first.

Kazuichi scoops Mononoke into his hands staring down at his own knees as he gently rubs her back. He needs to re-contextualise their relationship in his brain before he goes to bed tonight. "...just to clarify," he says quietly. "When you say start small , you mean definitely in private, right?"

Gundham knows better than to wish for more from people, he really does - he's always been starkly independent in that way, not relying on another to reassure him in the traditional sense. So when he'd...when he'd realized that the pink mechanic who kept bothering his hamsters, laughing too loud at Sonia's jokes in class, picking arguments with him, and smelling like oil in class was also someone who could blatantly steamroll him in every shared subject including Japanese, who felt numb and inhuman in some way, who put everything into his work, Gundham thought maybe he could work with it. It certainly felt more viable than someone who seemed to be trying to convince him they enjoy every aspect of him - call him self-destructive, but...something about the time spent with Sonia was terrifying . And he will admit he spent it. And maybe in some other world, he could stomach her eerie and twisted descriptions of serial murderings like a real dark lord would. Maybe if he were a little more like the way he liked to carry himself, he could do it, and maybe that would be the switch flipped that would make it possible. He doesn't believe in human sexuality boundaries. Either the mammals yearn or they do not. And he certainly does, and he certainly has. For a while. And so on the occasion all his avoidance is rewarded, when all of his annoying needling finally released in Kazuichi something - a little praise here and there, sometimes, and infinitely more touch, intimacy in the form of argument and teasing - he thought...

Well, he found it digestible. Attention from someone who he wanted it from, but hadn't been sure how to initiate, and had silently decided he would never even try for. It was gifted to him anyway, and like an animal being offered treats, gorged himself regardless of whether he was truly hungry or not. If he had been given enough, he would have taken it until it poisoned him. Seeing Kazuichi lean into him, hearing him seem so upset, having him in his arms for once instead of the other way around, he felt in control. The quiet, the way Kazuichi now decides to stay even though he could easily leave, the little voice that comes from the other side of the room, it all strikes something in Gundham he can't identify. It feels sick again.

Through the dark, he looks up. He points at Reikon and slashes a finger through the air a couple times at a few different angles and the hamster stands up on his little hind legs and flops over onto his back, little wiggling feet in the air, and then goes still just long enough to sell it, and then peeks up with half-lidded eyes, ready for his reward. Maybe he should have known better than to try to use their time ruling the world to get closer. With his head clearer, it certainly seems like it was wrong. That this workaround he'd inadvertently created - this 'starting small' - should stay as far from being that as possible. But he's never figured out how to get there in any other way. He's never done it right before. And he's not sure he knows what right looks like. "I have a hard time being anything but private in most regards, if you haven't noticed by now, so..." He rubs the back of his neck, shrugs, and then nods. "Yes. Privately."

"Okay. Good." Kazuichi sounds relieved. Because he's not sure he'd be able to handle it if he had to deal with more people being aware. He's not even sure most people know just how far the two of them have gone before and he'd much rather they didn't. He's scared it will ruin whatever pathetic image he's made for himself further. He still finds himself desperate for approval despite everything.

Kazuichi wants to ask what exactly Gundham is thinking about all of this because maybe if he hears that he'll be able to figure out what's going on in his own mind. But if he's not going to communicate his own feelings properly, he can't expect the other to either. He decides, however, that it's not bad. At least for now. He might not be able to articulate every thought in his mind, but until his brain tells him to push Gundham away, he's not going to reject him. He did want to be a bit more physically affectionate, even if he hadn't thought about going quite that far, and he doesn't want to lose privilege to that and, by proxy, privilege to Gundham's friendship. Even though...he'd made it clear he didn't want to be friends. But they have at least two more days to get comfortable with it before Kazuichi is free to go through the logs again. He can't tell if it's a blessing or a curse. "I might go for a walk..." He announces but makes no effort to move in any way, still staring at his knees.

Reikon paws at Gundham's knee, but makes no attempt to actually scale it, just lying lazily against him. Gundham chuckles quietly and pets him on the very top of the head. He's sweet. He's very sweet… "You're free to go as you please. I, um." He wants to say a lot of things. He doesn't know where to begin. Gundham continues to stare over at him, most of his scowl gone, left with a blank, ghostly sort of look. "I apologise. Just this once. For my overly zealous appetite. It will likely not be slain, even if I try."

Kazuichi finally looks up at him, the words making him pause and grab at his own clothes. It really isn't fair...how can he say that so easily? He really needs to stop saying things that make his head squirm. "...it's alright." And that's actually true. Sure, it's a lot for him to process, but Kazuichi loves attention. He likes knowing there's someone who wants to be close to him so he really has no issues with Gundham pursuing it. He just hadn't been ready for it, that's all. "Just don't eat me alive or anything."

There's a pause, and then Gundham smiles - it starts as a very obviously put-on, evil grin, but turns into a genuine, amused, affectionate sort of smile that he smothers in his scarf, but is still visible in the corners of his eyes. "I will try to keep my fangs from your neck."

Yeah, stop saying things like that. Kazuichi's eyes widen ever so slightly, exercising some self restraint as he buries the very first thought that comes to mind. He runs his cheek, looking away again with a curt nod. "Yeah, I might kick you if you don't."

Gundham chuckles. It is cemented in his mind that he's truly evil, because the discomfort is fun. He's never sure if Kazuichi is playing or not, but it doesn't stop him from getting some amusement out of it. Honestly? The idea of Kazuichi fighting back against him is sort of releasing, in a way. So much of Gundham's own behavior comes from observation, albeit printed back through in his own language, and his own intentions, but the idea of having the option unlocked for him, per se, to argue, to push...it feels good. There's a sort of thrill to it. Like he almost hopes that if he were to overtake him, Kazuichi would— "You say this, but I have insider information that concludes that you do indeed think highly in the way of my strength. Rest assured, though. Restraint, alongside comedy, is one of my finest honed skills."

"I've got more abs than you do. Your arms are soft compared to mine." Which is to say that, while Kazuichi completely believes Gundham wouldn't be able to overpower him in a battle of strength, in terms of actual fighting ability, he’d probably find himself beaten. If Gundham told him he'd done something like taken actual fighting classes, he'd probably believe him. Even so, there's a hint of a smile on his face finally. Kazuichi lets Mononoke on the ground to allow her to wonder before taking off his hat. He's not really sure what to do about Shiryo. He considers just reaching up to grab him but he should probably avoid trying to agitate him, sighing in defeat as he motions up to the hamster. "Can you get him off? He doesn't like when I take him away from my hair."

Gundham scoffs, but his grin hasn't really gone away. He wipes the sweat off his forehead and he sighs, pulling himself up as his lower face remains buried in his scarf. "Come here, you. Is that why you bit him?" He hums in amusement as he reaches for his companion, and Shiryo takes little handfuls of hair in preparation to be extracted. Gundham laughs as he tries to scoop him up, going ahead and letting him pull a couple hairs out of Kazuichi's scalp. He gets a little bitey with Gundham, too, but he doesn't flinch. just lets Shiryo go to town on his already scarred-up fingers. "Oh, shush. You're hurting him. We are trying to establish a better rapport, alright? You are safe now."

Kazuichi grits his teeth to stop his from whining as Shiryo is pried away, rubbing his scalp to dissipate the pain. It makes him wonder what that one likes so much about his hair because he seems to head straight for it whenever he has the chance. He mumbles a thanks to Gundham as he stands up, stretching out his limbs for a moment. It seems that at some point the adrenaline of the situation had worn off leaving him feeling a bit weak. Maybe he'll stop by the kitchen for a snack… "I might...come back if I don't take ages. If I don't, I'll still be there at dinner so..." He says a little awkwardly, gesturing towards the door before finally deciding to actually leave.

Chapter Text

Gundham says nothing to him, only wipes the smile off his face, finally, and again nods his permission as if Kazuichi needs it before he can leave. The door closes and clicks, the mechanism inside it engaging after a delay with a whirr and a beep. It doesn't lock.

He doesn't doubt that he'll be back, even though he has some cause to be nervous about it. If he didn't, Gundham would just continue on as he had normally. A disturbing set of thoughts occur to him all at once as he sits, covered in hamsters and soaking up his own blood with his hand wrap: if Kazuichi did anything he didn't like, he could probably just tell Hajime - or directly, the Foundation - about his snooping through files. About his disassembling machines against their advice. It would be easy to simply pick up something he knows Kazuichi's fiddled with, remove a piece or two without damaging the item's function, and say that he suspects him of hoarding parts for nefarious purposes. Even an anonymous advisory that the Foundation ought not to leave the ferry at dock on this island would probably be enough for retribution to come back to Kazuichi alone. He wouldn't do such a thing. Not because it is evil, but because it wouldn't serve him any purpose. Having Kazuichi gone or severing the two of them himself would bring him no peace, would it?

Or maybe that's not it. Maybe it's that he'd rather enact it himself, the punishment.

Kazuichi's face flushed in the dark comes back to haunt him. 'Don't eat me alive'. So do his lips, his warm fingers. Even picking Shiryo out of his hair he'd felt warmth radiating off of him. He's always been like that. Unable to sneak up on Gundham. The moment he hesitates in his touch, so long as it's hovering over his skin or even his clothes, Gundham can feel the heat coming off of him, and could know without seeing where his always-steady hand would make contact. He can't replicate it, himself. He tries once, absently, since he's alone, and nobody would know - hovers a palm over his thigh and waits, feeling, anticipating, listening to his heart in his ears. Touches down. Swipes a thumb over his pant leg. Even though it's the hand Kazuichi had been holding, it's gone back to its ghostly cool temperature. It doesn't….feel like anything. He should take a shower before dinner. A warm one. It will clear his head.

He turns back to the door and clicks his tongue, thoughtfully, to himself. Maintaining a sharp eye on his wayward companions, he gathers from his bathroom a towel and folds it over a few times, opens the door, and slides it into the gap between the bottom of the metal and the floor, and then slams it shut. This time, the whirr has less delay. Odd, he notes. But it does the same thing it had before, only snappier: what once was click, wait a beat, whirr, wait a beat, beep is now click-whirr , beat, beep. Well. He doesn't have to worry about the hamsters getting out while he's showering, at least, though he makes a mental note to experiment more later, perhaps tomorrow. In fact, after he's done, dried, and in what many others would call his sleep clothes (though he doesn't often sleep in clothes at all), the first thing he does is write on the inside of his arm a reminder: TOWEL . And then removes said obstruction from the doorway, and begins gathering up the beasts for their naps, only to find that all but Shiryo have already found themselves curled up back at home after raiding his lunch leftovers.

Shiryo sits directly in the middle of his made bed, staring at him while he grooms the blood off of his face. Gundham squats down in front of him and offers a hand. "My champion. You serve well. Need you rest?" The hamster continues to groom himself. "An assignment, then." He stops suddenly and lowers his little hands, staring intently. "Fine. If you would, your usual post - but with exceptional stealth, please?" Shiryo scuttles off the bed and down the sheets onto the floor and out from under the door.

***

The second he closes the door, Kazuichi feels himself let out a shaky breath. His legs work but he feels like they shouldn't be able to. For once in a long while, he actually decides to go for a walk outside, figuring that fresh air and sunlight could do him some good. Now that he's had a chance to simmer with the thoughts a bit, he finds himself of two minds: one side thinks that no one has ever seemed more attractive than Gundham appears to be right now and that having something better with him could be nice...whereas the other side is scared he'll end up using him and that no matter how healthy they become, he'll never deserve him.

Kazuichi sighs. The problem is that he believes both sides are right. Does it really just circle back to how inferior he's always felt to Gundham? He knows he’s a degenerate, but he didn't think it was that bad. Maybe just letting everything play out is best for now. Even if it doesn't work out to be anything serious, he can't regret never trying later. That kiss felt so different because he'd always been the one with the power in their dynamic before. And, yes, this is sort of just things settling into how they were always meant to be, but he can't deny the...therapeutic thrill of having him be so bold. Perhaps, though, that's just him hoping Gundham may inflict karma upon him by hurting him the same way Kazuichi perceives to have done to him. No matter what's said about it, he doubts he'll stop feeling guilty about it in a few ways.

He can't tell if he believes Gundham might actually do that, but he does bury the idea. He doesn't need reason to think more lowly of himself.

Kazuichi spends a while just laying outside, staring at the perfectly cloudy sky. Ultimately, he's decided he's not going to talk to anyone about it yet. Hajime is focussing on a project right now and he can't think of anyone he'd really be comfortable divulging a possible romance to who would actually be of any help. The people he's comfortable around are good for screwing his head on straight but not so much in more complex subjects he might be looking for nuance in. The breeze is nice today. He can smell the ocean and hear the waves. Out here, so isolated from everything else, he'd be able to call it peaceful. He breathes in deep, letting his heart return to a normal rhythm before he even thinks about moving.

He pushes himself up when he starts feeling like he might fall asleep, staring out onto the horizon before standing. He needs to get used to being around Gundham, he decides. If they really are going to complicate things further, he needs to at least be able to look him in the eye and not freak out at every little thing. Kazuichi just needs to feel a bit more sure and confident but he's not sure that's really possible.

As he walks back, some of his nerves come back to him. The inherent unpredictability makes it worse in his mind, but Kazuichi has already chosen this for himself so there's no backing out now. He gently knocks before opening the door, keeping himself pressed against it as it shuts behind him. He pauses when he looks up at Gundham. Seeing him dressed differently should not be enough to make him feel awkward! "We've got about an hour or two before dinner." He says as he finally lets go of the door handle. "So uh...we could...do something. I guess."

His hair still a little wet, Gundham looks up from where he's cleaning up Shiryo's mess in the very centre of his bed. He notes that once again, there's click, beat, whirr, beat, beep. Kazuichi's vague language makes him glad he'd spent his showertime rectifying some of his physical frustration. He swipes back some hair from his forehead and stands up straight with a grumble. The white stripes mix with the rest of his hair in a sort of stringy grey jumble. "Be careful not to step on anyone, the cage is still open. I…sent Shiryo to keep an eye on Hajime."

Kazuichi is almost startled by the reminder, looking down at the floor even though he'd hardly taken a step into the room. He sort of side steps his way further in but...with Gundham on the bed and the cage occupying the desk, he doesn’t really have anywhere to go. "Why Hajime?" He raised an eyebrow. "The guy's got a freaky sixth sense these days, there's no way he doesn't know he's being watched."

Gundham pulls his knees to his chest and scoots to the side, perching himself up on the edge of the bed. He huffs, annoyed at first, and then looks a little...pale. "...I forgot about that..."

Kazuichi stares for a long moment, barely holding back his laughter. "The one guy who might actually have superpowers and you forgot about it?" It relieves something in him seeing him be so...human. He shook his head, trying to calm himself down. "Well, if he hasn't said anything then he probably doesn't care. Why do you want to spy on him anyway?"

Gundham puts his head in his hands with a sigh, "He seems so-!" He doesn't want to say normal , because he's not, but- "...Maybe spy detection is one place he fails to excel?" He gives Kazuichi a second to think about what he's just said, and then gestures vaguely at nothing in particular, a little visibly frustrated. "Were you not also curious?"

"In what he's up to? Yeah, I guess so..." But he didn't exactly want to spy on him either. He had a lot of respect for Hajime as a friend so if he wasn't telling him what he was up to, he decided there must be a reason. 

"In what allegiance he has to the girls. In what dark pacts are obviously being forged behind our backs? Do not so many denizens now seem so well aligned, but just beyond the scope of our vision?! Maybe I as the 'newcomer' simply still have no finger on the pulse of this place, but it seems odd, doesn't it?!" Gundham sighs and rubs his hands through his hair again. The shaved sides are starting to grow out a little fluffy. On the bright side, they still dry pretty fast.

"Do you really think Shiryo will be able to understand what's going on anyway? Or effectively convey it?" Kazuichi walks closer and kind of just stands in front of him. "I mean, if you're that interested I could...well I shouldn't but I could make a camera."

Gundham raises an eyebrow, or at least the muscle where one would be. "I'd be able to determine if what he saw was troublesome or not, at the very least, which is often a good indication of the environment that he's observed without me. Th-...this is disregarding the fact I can also peer through his eyes when he is acting as my familiar in such a way." Thank goodness he's not seventeen anymore. Sitting here looking up at Kazuichi is giving him a niggling feeling of discomfort. Ever confident, though, he just leans back, raising one foot to cross his ankle over his knee. "...Whether you could or you should, would you?"

Kazuichi sort of shrugs. "It sounds like it'd be a fun project." Yes, Hajime might end up getting pretty annoyed with him, but he couldn't keep his fingers away from machines forever. Making a tiny camera sounds like a great challenge for him to try. "Do you...want me to?" Because if Gundham is completely fine with his traditional methods he'd save himself the headache...but he can't say he's completely against the idea. They've been sneaking around this much already, what's a little harmless spying going to do except ease their minds on what's going on seemingly behind their backs. Communication between them as a team is very important, after all.

"...If it were to be 'just for fun', then it would not be an issue at all, would it?" Gundham shrugs one shoulder. He hadn’t been expecting an affirmative answer after how he’d been about first looking through logs but…well Kazuichi had changed his tune on it rather quickly. "We don't have to install it immediately. That decision can be made at a later date, if need be. What makes you think he would not notice a camera, but my specially trained stealth units are in danger?"

"He might notice if you just set it up somewhere, but if he's already undisturbed by Shiryo..." Kazuichi muses. It'd be difficult to make something so small without a proper set up but he'd totally give it a go. "You can make cameras so small you can swallow them so he probably wouldn't notice without picking him up. Scavenging to find the right parts sounds like a good time at least." He'd feel a bit bad about tearing up whatever remained on the island's buildings, but it's not as if it's being used for anything else.

Gundham’s brows raise, lifting some of the dark shadow from his eyes. Extremely interesting. "...That, then, is something we will do. Time is of the essence." With a new fire lit under him, apparently, Gundham stands up. He'd like to offer a hand, but given the current atmosphere between the two of them, perhaps not. He does, however, shove his hands into his own pockets and glower down at him very purposefully, appraisingly, and then toward the door. "Speaking of time efficiency. Look at something for me, would you?"

Kazuichi blinks at him. "Look at something? Did you find something?"

"Have you ever tried to simply leave your door open at night to avoid the locks?" Gundham has, and Kazuichi likely already knows this, given their rooms are in the same wing - it screams until it is simply pushed shut, and it can lock itself. He scoots past the other to gather up the thin white towel he'd used to keep his hamsters in earlier. "And how much do you know about the overall function of the portals?"

"I like my privacy so I've never tried leaving the door open...but I was told about the locking system." The foundation had gone over all those sort of important details when they first awoke. ‘ It's not a hard rule ,’ he remembers them saying, ‘ we just need to prove competency and compliance.’ "My guess is it's like behavioural training." He shrugs. "Putting a curfew in can help show off you're not crazy, and if someone were to get violent, the room can lockdown."

"Right. Positive reinforcement..." Well, the awful sound is, anyway. "I meant their innards." With only a few hours now until said curfew, Gundham goes to fiddle with the door - first, peering down the hallway to see if anyone is out - and then holds it open. There's a couple of things he's wanted to try, and having Kazuichi here may help him interpret his results. He stands outside the doorway and lets it fall closed, towel still over his arm, offering no explanation, which surely looks interesting from the other's perspective. The sounds all activate in a timely order. He hits the handle and opens it again. Sort of like a child trying to figure out when the light inside the fridge goes off, he gives it a couple slow swings, all having no noticeable result. "Turn on your mechanical brain for me. Did you hear its workings? I can alter them."

Kazuichi was visibly confused for a while, though when Gundham actually makes it clear what he was meant to be paying attention to, he steps a little closer as the movements are repeated. "Oh, interesting..." His eyes widen in fascination as he presses his hands against the door. "Does the mechanism get stuck...no, it's probably a sensor thing." He has the overwhelming urge to pull the door off its hinges to properly take a look but...that probably wasn't a good idea. Instead, Kazuichi lays on his stomach to try and get a look at the bottom of the frame, running what will fit of his fingers under it before opening the door to properly inspect the lock. "Since these are automatic, you can't really pick them. There's timers and sensors in place to make sure they lock when they're meant to...I wonder if it has a way of detecting if it's faulty or simply figures out if it's closed or not..."

Gundham nods excitedly. Apparently the difference between the sound on its own and when it has something thin jammed between the door and the metal strip on the floor is obvious enough that Kazuichi notices too. "Yes! Ah, yes," as that does make some sense to him, and unfortunately, like any other soul stuffed into a human suit, he is drawn to the idea of solving some sort of problem. It's hard not to get a little bit of a rush out of it. While Kazuichi fiddles with the door itself, Gundham stands on the door's threshold strip with one foot in front of the other. ...Nothing happens. Apparently there's more needed than just having the spot covered, but he's more than willing to play with it longer. "It has to somehow be aware of its own positioning. That, or the frame is aware? The hinges of their angles? Some mix?"

"That's what I'm thinking. See," Kazuichi grabs Gundham to pull him close, running his fingers over some bits of what look to be plastic on the actual latch part of the door. "I reckon those are sensors, or there's some small ones in those screw holes. Probably nothing super high tech, just detecting things like colour and lighting." He then points down to the bottom of the door, kicking it slightly. "There's probably similar stuff on the bottom. Figures out it's closed by figuring out which floor it's under. Which is why it needed to think with a towel under it, deciding it was probably shut since the latch was in place. Unless there's some stuff in the actual hole," he turns towards the frame, "there's a chance you could trick the sensors."

"Fuhahahah...! Eviscerate it and see." Gundham pulls an arm around Kazuichi’s shoulder to allow himself to be pushed and pulled wherever he needs to look, grinning his evil smile listening to his ideas. The idea of being one of maybe two people with the ability to freely roam the building - or perhaps even the island! - at night is already getting him excited. (Maybe there's still some piece of him that craves disorder.)

Kazuichi pauses, sighing to himself and leaning into Gundham to reach into his pocket. "You gotta stop getting me curious about things, you know I can't help myself." He says as he waves a screwdriver in his face. "We'll get in trouble if someone sees me taking the damn door down." He sort of whines but it's horribly obvious he desperately wants to.

Gundham shakes him and cackles, holding him close by the hip for a second before he untangles himself from the other. "Ah, fortuitous, then, that we have units of surveillance, isn't it?" He whistles - the doors to the cage are still open, but only two of the three remaining respond. No matter, he kneels down to meet his hamsters regardless. "I need one of you to stay and be of warning in case any predator may circle overhead, and the other to keep close watch on the kitchen. Alert immediately if our spot behind enemy lines is in danger of compromise." Mononoke chirps and scurries down the hall toward the kitchenette, and Yurei plants herself camouflaged nicely out of shrapnel-range against one of the doorways, sharp ears perked and ready, waddling slowly against the wall and listening for shuffling inside as she goes. Gundham stands himself up again once he’s satisfied." We are maintaining our enrichment needs. This is the nature of all living things. We can not morally be judged for our self-preservations."

Kazuichi can't help but smile at Gundham's enthusiasm. He can't deny, it is something to do, and there had been many times where some fresh air in the middle of the night really could have helped him. He's also very receptive to peer pressure, so if Gundham's going to be happy if he is successful...he's not going to deny him. "Alright, fine." As if he was being forced into it despite his joy at the prospect of learning something new. He pulls Gundham into the room with him and shuts the door to get an actual look at the hinges, testing his screwdriver before fishing into a different pocket to find a bigger head. "Is it only the bedroom doors that lock though?" He stands on the tips of his toes, straining himself to reach the highest screw.

Gundham squats down behind him, pats his leg, and offers him a step up with his hands. "I'm unsure. I haven't been outside of this room in the night, except upon the night that I awoke, and even then I was not retrieved until daybreak, I believe. And my spirit soldiers are not deterred by such worldly inconveniences."

Kazuichi hums, silently taking his offer of help and bracing himself against the wall as Gundham lifts him slightly. "Yeah I guess so. I wouldn't doubt it, but there's always a chance..." And that's only talking about if he can successfully disable the locking system at all. He undoes the top screws before letting Gundham lower him, sitting on the floor to undo the bottom screws. "There's a chance it's all internal so tampering won't be as effective...but I kind of have a few ideas we could try if that's the case." He pauses, looking up at him and pointing to the other end of the door. "Hold that side so it doesn't fall and we can lay it down."

"I have no concerns about any obstacle we might face. Like I said, it's enrichment. It's not life or death. And even if it were, I have already committed myself thusly, and I will not retreat." Gundham pats his palms off on his pants and stands at the ready, nodding, and gets a good hold on the door.

After the last screw is loosened, Kazuichi stands up with his arms spread wide across his side of the door, thinking for a moment. "Pull it down this way," he points to the ground, "might be easier if we try not to move it very far." It’s rather heavy - it appears to be metal but it’s definitely not solid - and the alarm doesn’t immediately go off as soon as it’s horizontal, which is good. As soon as it's laid down, Kazuichi steps around the door and gets a proper look at the bottom of it, running his hand over the dusty surface. "We won't be able to know if any of this works until nighttime, but we could try a couple of experiments. I don't want to break the door too much…"

"Well," Gundham makes sure he's out of the way, "Walk me through it. Hold on!" He actually should grab one of his notebooks to jot some of this down in, leaping over the workspace and only returning once he has a pen in hand and the back third of a notebook otherwise being used for textbook notes in his arm. "Now. Once you've placed it back upon its hinges and returned to your lair, if you so decide, me and my disciples may look over the ancient texts once again."

Kazuichi sort of awkwardly nods, shrugging as he goes on with the best explanation he can muster. "Well, see, this bit down here probably has some sort of sensor that can figure out the difference between this floor," he pats the ground, "and the floor in your room. If that's the case, all you need to do is figure out how to make it think it's this floor. So the towel covering up the sensor made it freak a bit since it was too dark to properly read anything." He pulls himself up and over to inspect the latch, pushing it in its hole a few times. "There's probably nothing abnormal about this except it being attached to internal mechanisms in here," he knocks on the door, "so, really, all you'd need to do is break this and you'd be all set. But since we don't have anything that strong and we can't remove the handle all together, next best thing would be tricking this," he reaches his arm back to point to the hole in the frame, "into thinking that the latch is there when it's actually not. I'd say...put something like blue tack in there to see if that's the case."

Gundham fills out as many sketches as he can, from whatever angle he can get, with whatever detail he can convey to himself, and with Kazuichi's commentary scribbled into the margins as quickly as he can get it down. "...Right...right. All the more reason to be as quick as possible, being that we will be needing to retrieve the necessary components. Without access to the shop, where would one find... that ?"

Kazuichi hums for a moment. Right, they didn't really have blue tack or those sorts of things… "I mean...it'd be kind of gross but you could also shove food in there. Or, probably a better option, paper."

"Mm. I have a couple ideas, then. A hairpin or chopstick would get it back out without any problems once it's done, even if it gets cemented in there, wouldn't it..." Gundham smirks to himself. No need to even toss anything. No evidence. Absolutely fucking thrilling, he feels like...well. He feels like he has developed a high-stakes plan and is now in the midst of executing it, which is not unfamiliar, and not as unpleasant as he'd like it to be. But nobody's going to die this time, so it's fine, isn't it? No harm will be done. He ducks to drag out the bag of hamster bedding. It comes in little fluffy paper scraps, but if he stuffs it in his mouth and chews on it for a second, it clumps up like a very stiff and very quick-drying wad of gum. As weird as he knows that it is, he finds himself smirking and bellowing a laugh regardless while he shows off his damp little plan. Better than something that will smell or rot.

Kazuichi grimaces at the sight. Not exactly what he had in mind but it'll work, moving away from the doorframe to let Gundham shove it in. Well, that's one of the obstacles hopefully dealt with. "That should be enough to allow the door to just be pulled open. As for the bottom, I say try and do the towel thing again. Assuming it doesn't have motion sensors, it should be fine." If that doesn't work, he might end up tearing the door knob off his own door to see if he can get access to the wiring inside to figure out what exactly is going on, but he'd rather cause as little damage as possible. "Tonight shut the door like normal and see if you can open it after it locks. If you can but it whines at you, shove a towel under it while it's still open. If it doesn't stop, then I'll take a closer look at it."

Gundham has to actively try not to use his extra energy to jump around like a moron. It doesn't work. He waves his hands briefly and then laughs, evilly, turning around and putting both fists into the air, mouth still tasting of hamster bedding. "What about you?" He returns to the conversation after his small celebration, all fanged smiles that flicker out although the amusement in his eyes is still clear. "How am I to gather the components for your scrying eye in secret if I know not what it is that's necessary for its completion?"

Kazuichi waves his hand. "Ah, I can do that bit myself. People don't really ask many questions when I fiddle with things." Plus, the island is so big that he'd be surprised to stumble across many people as long as he still comes in for meals. He does give Gundham a small smile as he steps back around to lift up the door again. "You're really excited by this, aren't you?"

"I meant tonight. Are you going to..." Gundham waves him leadingly on, "Join me? On an expedition?"

Kazuichi considers it for a moment. It would be easier for him if he could see what's going on. "...I could if you want me to."

"Don't make me question your intelligence just after I've finished probing your mind. What would this be if not an invitation?" Gundham's hand is still open, though he does, with as much sass as he can muster, set his elbow onto his hip and juts that out at him, too. 

Kazuichi sort of grumbles to himself. "Stop trying to flirt with me and just help me lift the damn door."

Gundham scoffs and goes to hide himself in his scarf but finds that he has nowhere to stuff his face into except his shirt, which he's not about to do hands-free, so he just puts his chin to his chest and rounds the other side of the door and pry it up off the floor.

They pull the door up, Kazuichi positioning the hinges correctly before kneeling down to screw them back in. There is a brief pause as he finishes the last one on the bottom. "Do you just want me to...spend the night in your room?"

"Okay, who is flirting now? If you'd like to you can, but if the doors all function similarly, we should be able to fit yours with the same...edits."

"That's not flirting! I was just wondering!" He shoots him a sort of glare as he stands up. "If you want to meet up secretly at night assuming it all works fine, we can."

Gundham genuinely gives it some thought and rubs his chin - gives the door a little bit of movement to make sure it's all aligned correctly. He closes the door between them. The door clicks closed, whirrs, and then beeps. He opens the door again. It seems not to be bothered yet. He sighs, shaking his head. " I would like to. You either will or will not make it."

"Fine! We can rendezvous ! You're chewing up the paper though!" Kazuichi huffs as he shoves his screwdriver back in his pocket.

"I was always intending to prepare the reagents! I would not leave such an important and delicate operation to you! Besides, it could be toxic to you, as inexperienced as you are." Gundham turns his nose up at the other and huffs as well. "...I need to tune my vessel before then." He means make sure he's not going to grow mould on his scalp - this place is humid, even in the temperature-controlled lab, and if he doesn't dry his hair very purposefully he very well may go to dinner with a wet head - but he might do his makeup, too. Luckily for him, looking extravagant doesn't draw any suspicions, even if it's just before lights-out.

"Yeah yeah, do whatever you think you need to." As long as they were normal the entire time and Gundham wasn't so adorably excited all night, he'd be fine.  Then again...if it did work it'd mean they could meet up more often and Kazuichi couldn't decide if that made him feel better or worse. "We'll just...head to dinner together, go our separate ways, and then a little after curfew, we can meet in the hallway." He had to admit though, it was pretty thrilling. This was a better way of reliving his youth, he thought.

Gundham purses his lips tightly and gives a nod before he turns to click into the empty hall. Yurei, after a moment's hesitation (or perhaps analysis), comes wandering back to his waiting palm, where he puts her onto his shoulder, and she wriggles into his shirt, having no scarf to hide under at the moment. "Mononoke and Shiryo should be at the feast when we arrive," he explains in a mumble when he passes Kazuichi again.

"...yeah." He awkwardly nods. Well, that's that. One mystery they're on their way to solving. "Should we go put the paper in my door and the head to dinner? Or do you think it'll still be too early to do that..." he'd lost track of time so he wouldn't be surprised if it had already been long enough. But Kazuichi also knows he can work surprisingly fast so there's always a chance it's barely been half an hour.

"Right. While we're still alone." Gundham agrees, jamming a wad of hamster bedding into one cheek and gesturing him onward. "It'll be fine. We aren't locked in yet. Unless the dining room is one of the places we are no longer allowed to go, but I assumed that was just the the room with the machine console. We'll find out if we're stopped by someone stronger than us." Unfortunately, despite all of his...qualifications, he's still got plenty above him in terms of physical strength. Not just Nekomaru, but Akane and Peko, too, two people he hasn't been properly reintroduced to, either, who would likely have no problem at all playing security against him if asked. "Is it okay? The idea of approaching the watering hole and its denizens with such evil accompaniment?" He teases.

"... it's not like it'd be weird. We sit together, don't we?" Yeah, Kazuichi did feel a little awkward given, well, everything , but it's not like they're holding hands. People already knew they were hanging out so there was no reason to worry too much. They've entered somewhere together before so it wasn't new. "We'll be fine as long as we're not like...doing anything to draw a lot of attention."

"You will be blessed with my protections, then." Gundham shrugs and gestures for Kazuichi to go ahead of him. To be fair to him, he's still trying to get a rise out of him, but also all of the doors look pretty much the same. He's pretty sure that Kazuichi's is down the hall and to the right at the very end, but he could...use the reminder.

"Yeah...whatever you say." Kazuichi waves him off. Maybe if he's more dismissive of him, he won't feel so easily flustered by him. 

"That is every day of my life." Gundham mutters as he uses his pinkie finger to fish the paper out of his cheek when the bedroom door is opened, sticking it into the lock. Kazuichi's door doesn't fuss about the intrusion, either, which is relieving. They'll see how that goes in a few hours. How exciting . 

"Come on then." Kazuichi says as he shuts the door again. "Let's hope there's not really any meat today."

"You don't have to eat twice for me. Maybe it'll be something with meat on the side and I can prepare my own plate." Gundham shrugs, and now that he's more confident of their destination, jumps into the lead enough that if Kazuichi hangs back just a little, it could very easily look like the two of them are just coincidentally arriving at similar times.

"And just let you make yourself sick because you're trying to be polite? I already promised I would." After all, they’ve already put in so much effort into the set up, ruining it all now would make it all worthless. The fruits of their labor would reveal themselves in the coming hours.

Chapter Text

Dinner went by like normal, though there were a few less people. It only really makes Kazuichi more curious to figure out what they were actually doing to try and wake Mikan, the two of them sitting together with Kazuichi eating what Gundham doesn’t like (and a few things he does just so it wouldn't look so strange and also to poke at his nerves a little bit). In between getting legitimately frustrated at this pilfering of his mushrooms to the point where he almost stabs him with a fork, Shiryo returns from his journey a little later than Gundham would have been perfectly comfortable with, but he's always been an over-achiever. Seems like whatever they're doing is boring to him, which is largely unhelpful, but a little relieving. Certainly they aren't coming up with assassination plans, at the very least.

With his little extra time to spare before curfew, Gundham covers the marks on his face in caked foundation and splits his visage in crooked pieces with the (admittedly nowadays a little sloppily-drawn) scar over his eye, and loads hamsters into every otherwise vacant clothing pocket. To them, this is not so interesting, but he can tell that they can feel the excitement coming off of him. Even Reikon is squirming, buzzing, where he's settled in the little pouch of Gundham's tucked-in sleep shirt.

The clock chirps, the door clicks, and the lock engages.

No siren. It thinks of itself as closed and locked, which is one of the hurdles dealt with, and after a minute of listening for any other shuffling in the hall and hearing none in the adjacent rooms, he gives the door a shot. The pitch blackness of the hall yawns before him, silently. He steps out into it without a second thought, shuts the door behind him, and from where he stands, nonchalantly, tries to open it again. It does as it is commanded. "Hah. Hahahah. It has been bested." He chuckles to himself as quietly as he can manage. Now, if someone were to see his door, it may be a little obvious that something is at play, but nobody has ever exercised judgement over his having a towel beneath his door before, so...

With hamster senses to guide him, Gunham's able to navigate to the back end of the hallway, where apparently, he has apparently been beaten to the scene as he and his rendezvous partner run into each other. No matter - honestly, it's sort of nice to know that Kazuichi might be as excited as him about this. (Of course he would be, why wouldn't he be?)

"That really was super easy!" Kazuichi sounds giddy, obviously feeling a similar rush at their success. "We're outside of those rooms after dark! "

"Of course it was, I told you it would be." Gundham can only barely make out where the other is in the dark, and this may very well be because of the aura around him rather than any sliver of sight remaining - but he can orient himself, anyway. Left from leaving his room (and right from Kazuichi's) is the way they've gathered, and the doorway is visible at one end because of the dim light constantly coming off of the electronics from the kitchenette. On the very other end is the door that leads to the stairs and elevators to the surface and the corridor that leads to the room with the stasis pods and console. Other than the girls' hallway, there's a makeshift infirmary and a bunch of old offices on the other side of the dining room. Gundham's only experience with them has been waking up and being taken to the former, and having been allowed to plunder for personal supplies like extra clothes from one of the latter. This is all accepting the fact that they have unsupervised access to the harbour and the communication equipment in the radio station just across the way on the very same island. If they wanted, they could do some truly heinous acts.

Not that Gundham's thinking about that. Because he's not.

"My first instinct would be to check for access to the dragons' hoard. Surely remnants of technologies' past still sit there, yes?"

Kazuichi hums at the suggestion. "That could work. Hopefully that room has a switch so we can actually see otherwise it'd be a waste to go looking. I'd probably prefer to take things from the other buildings though since they're basically abandoned at this point." He says as he finds himself holding onto the other’s arm so he doesn't lose track of or run into him.

"When I woke up they had me scavenge them briefly, so I'm relatively familiar." Gundham shrugs, having no issue with offering the point of contact. "We could check the out of doors. It would make the most sense for those to lock, but who would they want to keep out? The seagulls?" (He's been hoping for monkeys. He has not run into any monkeys...yet.) Gundham tugs him toward the entry. Outside doesn't sound bad at all as a first try, not when they have all night and the weather should be cooler under the moon.

"I mean, it's a secluded island with nobody but us. I'd say it wouldn't make sense to waste resources on locking a door you don't expect anyone to use at night." It would only really need to lock if the weather got too bad and he was pretty sure there were internal latches for those sorts of things. Kazuichi glances up at Gundham and...finds that he wishes he could see his face better. His skin is so pale that he can just barely make him out, but it strains his eyes a little to do so. He's really not giving his heart the break it deserves, but it's not beating quite as fast as earlier. "It'd be nice if it wasn't unlocked though. I...haven't seen the moon in a long time."

" Exactly. " Gundham hisses, allowing himself a smile while it's so thoroughly hidden by the dark. "...Even I am unsure of the current moon's phase."

The door at the end of the hall is heavy, something that gives Gundham a little bit of pause at first as he leans into it, but with some pressure it creaks and gives way under his shoulder. Opens up into the entry, where the dim lights on the lift guide them to it. He'd take the stairs, if it weren't so dark and they weren't behind a fire exit door that has an ominous red light built into the frame, as if it may set an alarm off if opened. It's only then when they can see themselves from the light in the elevator does Kazuichi seem to register the position he'd put them in, sort of letting go as they step into it and just loosely taking Gundham's hand instead. That feels less...intimate isn't the word he's looking for but it'll do for now. The anticipation between them rises with the short ride, bringing them to the top floor where there are finally some windows in sight and some midnight silver light can shine through. It's strange how simply going outside can feel so exciting in its forbidden nature and overall that's not really a feeling Kazuichi is overly familiar with. But he can't bring himself to call it scary as the two of them approach the door and slowly push it together. 

The cool, salty breeze greets them and Kazuichi can't believe how long it's been since he last saw the stars. They take a few steps out into the island, his smile growing wider as he holds Gundham tighter in excitement. "Look! Gundham, that's Aquila!" He says as he points towards the sky.

Gundham follows the pointed finger. It's much easier to see up here, with the moon and stars and the reflections on the water and bright white sand - but he's not one who's ever been especially interested in the stars. Not beyond their spiritual qualities, anyway - so why he actually looks, and looks intently, as if he would know what that means, he has no idea. It surprises him a little. He can't say he sees it. In fact, all he sees is a huge smattering of glittering stars. They're even clearer out here, in the real world, than they had been when he lived at home. And unfamiliar, for some reason. He had thought in the Program that it'd been because it was digital, fake, but even now, he can't seem to orient himself in the night sky.

He cranes his neck so far back to look at the entire image that he's a little worried he's going to lose his balance, especially when the vertigo of being suddenly placed into a snowglobe of stars hits him, and he becomes yet more grateful for the hand held on his own. "...Quite a lot of them, aren't there?" Gundham mutters, only looking down again so he can watch where he steps as he tugs Kazuichi off the pavement and into the grass, toward the radio communications building. A good thing too because Kazuichi sure isn’t watching his step. All the response he gets is a delighted hum as Gundham navigates them both around bushes and warns him quietly of obstacles before they're upon them so he can keep staring (he gets it. It's beautiful. Unnerving, but gorgeous).

Kazuichi refrains from talking too much on the constellations, but it's still nice. He's sort of glad to finally figure out where in the year they are given the island remains pretty tropical most days. He lowers his head again and blinks when his neck starts getting too sore, letting his eyes refocus on the building before them. Oh, that would probably be a good place to start. "Are you sure you want to poke around in there?" Kazuichi does ask though. "It might still be operational so we'd need to be pretty careful about what we touch."

"You question my absolute power?" Gundham bares his teeth but shrugs. "Are you not the master of the machines?"

"I guess so...just don't touch anything that's got wires." The last thing he wants is for them to create actual complications for anyone. He doesn’t know how operational the building is, but there was a chance they still needed it. For as easily as Kazuichi could fix it, messing anything up could result in them getting in trouble. As they enter, Kazuichi fumbles to find a light switch, the dim, long-since-used bulb flickering on and giving them some light to better see what they're doing. "I'd say we start with drawers, try not to wobble anything too much just in case. It's probably old so it could be sensitive."

"It would make the most sense strategically for them to share with you what is it they're utilizing for their art of hope so mistakes don't happen." Gundham grumbles, but gets to looking around anyway. Honestly, getting down and doing some thorough investigative work feels good. Like a return to form, almost, especially with the background sound of ocean waves and rustling palms. He (mostly) takes Kazuichi's advice - around the large main room there are rows of filing cabinets between large desk workspaces, all covered in dust - and little knickknacks left behind from the previous employees, back when they were doing things such as communicating with resort staff and ferry captains and getting weather reports from the mainland. While the searching itself has a comfort to it, the fact that things here are so much more obviously human and obviously used than in the Program does make him a little melancholic. Luckily, he wasn't one scrabbling around in abandoned and half-rubble buildings for scrap, so it's not terribly familiar, but…he's not going to go wrecking the place for a multitude of reasons, so it doesn't matter that much.

Kazuichi finds himself unsurprised yet mildly disappointed to find that most of the storage in the building is nothing but files and old stationary. There are some cables stashed away in heaps but they probably wouldn't be much use to him without proper soldering equipment. Good to know for future reference though. He does find himself itching to take apart one of the computers but decides it might be best not to touch them. If there are spares in storage, he'll certainly take them, but for their first night breaking curfew, he doesn't want to cause much damage. "You know," he says as he closes about the thirteenth drawer he's opened. "I bet there are some disposable cameras somewhere. This was a tourist spot so they probably used to sell them. If I can get one of those, I'll have most of the parts that I need and will just need parts to get it to film stuff."

"If the ferries were accessible we'd have infinitely more resources." Gundham has put the headset around his neck to make sure it doesn't go anywhere - the little microphone smells like salt and mould. "Some of the workers here had photos of the islands." He thinks aloud, and begins checking underneath workspaces for personal bags he can intrude upon as well. "Maybe someone still had one of the little snapping beasts at their call. I'll check."

"I mean, it's totally possible, but it's more likely that stuff would be in a staff room." Kazuichi would much rather imagine that the people on the island just sort of vanished as opposed to...well, anything else. The island was abandoned so fast people didn't take their things for a reason and he doesn’t want to think an awful lot about it. "There's a lot less here than I would've thought though. Mostly just musky old reports on a whole bunch of stuff. I did find this though." He held up a small tape dispenser. "Don't know what I'll use it for but tape is always handy..."

There's a pause as Gundham peeks up over the desk and squints at him. "Tape?"

"Yeah! It's good for making sure I don't lose small parts. If it was electrical tape I could use it on wires but." Kazuichi shrugs but seems happy enough with himself.

Gundham nods with the explanation, giving him a thumbs-up as goes back down to search. Kazuichi may be opposed to looking through people's things, but Gundham certainly isn't. "I was also envisioning a large beast of a machine with antennae and buttons and lights. And stuff." There's a dull thump as he tosses someone's duffel out from under a desk. "Is there another tier to the great tower, perhaps?"

"Maybe...but also that technology would be kind of outdated by now." Kazuichi can never tell if Gundham's ignorance on machinery is adorable or sad, though he supposes they all have their own interests (even if Gundham's cluelessness is a bit...worrisome in his personal opinion. The guy runs an entire online blog yet was shocked by how large an engine was the first time Kazuichi showed him what he was working on. He truly does live in his own little world). "Some towers do use those sort of buttons and radio systems, but these days with satellites, most places just use industrial computers."

"Satellite, exactly…" Gundham’s not really listening - he's found a bento box that has grown some sort of furry white-and-green monster mould on top of it and is more interested in seeing if there's any sign of mice than he is hearing about what's outdated or not. He sneezes. And then again. Alright, maybe he shouldn't stay under here much longer. He sneezes one more time on his way to standing. "What spoils have you found?"

Kazuichi frowns, fiddling with his tape. "Not much that would be useful for making a tiny camera. There are some old wires and spare computer parts around but I can't use any of that right now." He seems a bit upset about that actually, putting his hands on his hips with a sigh. "I'm limited in what tools I'm allowed to have. I'm sure there are more in maintenance sheds but they won't let me have anything that requires electricity."

Gundham kicks the duffel back where he found it and starts to wander back to Kazuichi, turning out his pockets where he has, unfortunately, been hoarding exactly those things: wires and computer parts. He puts them on the nearest desk and huffs, rubs his chin. "Surely there's a closet with tools for you to borrow, either here or underground."

Kazuichi briefly picks through the new little pile. He can see the potential all the parts have...but they're a bit useless to him right now. "There is, but like I said, if it needs power then it's a safety concern ." He glances over Gundham a moment. His eyebrows twitch in discomfort. "...and they're not wrong-" you'd definitely know that "-but it makes things that need wiring a bit harder if I can't melt metal. That's why starting with a camera would probably work best."

"...Fairly." Gundham unintentionally confirms the unfortunate thoughts. "Although I would have set the restriction somewhere between a welding torch and tattoo gun, and not lower. Maybe this shows my ignorance on the dangers lurking within the average computer console." And opposingly, his surplus of experience with the dangers of analog objects in Kazuichi's hands. Or just his hands on their own. "I was able to locate this." He bends the little metal arm that holds the microphone around his neck. "But no webcams. Doesn't seem as if we are especially late to dissecting the place, though, most things are untouched. I could comb through once more."

Kazuichi steps closer to inspect the headset without taking it off him, nodding. "Smells funky but something in it might be usable." He shrugs. "I think we might as well look elsewhere. We might have better luck in the buildings that would've gotten more foot traffic."

"Tell me about it. This place is filled with spores." Gundham waves his hand and makes a face, scrunched around his wrinkled nose. "If nothing else you can tap the room, can't you? Something of the sort?" If they're leaving, well. He opens his hand up again.

"Yeah, probably. If I get a bigger project going, I could use some of this stuff but right now the goal is to make something tiny." He glances at Gundham's hand, hesitating before letting their fingers slot together. Maybe...he wouldn't mind if they held hands more… "I think we should either go to the main building or check out like a beachside kiosk, though stuff in there might be damaged by all the salt by now." He says as they make their way out, flicking the light off on the way.

Gundham fiddles with the hand given to him. They take some time to fully fit, fingers fitting two to one or a thumb accidentally pressed into the mess instead of over the back of a hand, but once they're outside, they've got it sorted. "Psh. I don't see what one of the kiosks would have that the communications centre did not, but if you think that after being released from his ironclad prison the fae-bound commander of all mischief would so willingly return, you're a fool . We will stay atop the surface for longer yet, fruitful or not the endeavor." No fucking way he's going back until he's so tired he's about to pass out, and even then, he may just find a spot among the trees. He raises their clasped hands and points them toward the beach.

Kazuichi finds himself smiling. Why does he like seeing this man be so eager? He'd never really felt that way before, he doesn’t think so anyway, but now that he's paying attention and taking proper interest, he finds himself...so amused by his excitement. He just squeezes his hand. "Like I said, the touristy places might have cameras. Disposable ones are usually pocket sized but I bet I could cut it down to hamster size. I'll start with that and if I need extra stuff, I can come back in the morning."

"From what I remember they were more so filled with surf and paddle boards. And kitschy Monokuma t-shirts." Gundham says as they a little crooked line of huts near where the beach begins to briefly turn to rock. They're all crusted with marine life and salt. If he weren't busy, he'd be bothering barnacles.

"Yeah, but a real one might have cameras. Even if they're just lost property." As they approach one of the kiosks, Kazuichi opts to hurl himself over the counter rather than bother with the proper entrance, kneeling down to rummage through storage shelves. He makes a grossed out noise, pulling out a box and placing it on the counter to have a proper look through. "Just how long has everything been sitting here?" He says as he picks up a set of keys that seem rusted beyond repair. "But I guess this is a good start...this must be someone's ring that got found on the beach." He picks up the old band. It's not quite as bad as the keys but it could still use a clean.

"The remnants of those in the before-times..." Gundhum hums as he leans over the counter as if he were one of said tourists, cheek in a propped-up palm. He peeks into the box and starts rifling through it himself; there are toys in here, and a pocket knife, a pair of very old socks, some tweezers. It's gross, but not awful, in fact, he happily picks the socks out and gives them a waggle at Kazuichi. "Are we looting the graves, then?" He teases.

Kazuichi leans back, swatting his hand away. "This is different, this isn't anyone's grave so it's fine!" Not like they'd ever be able to give them back to their respective owners if they were sitting in lost and found anyway.

Gundham entertains the idea of chasing him with the socks, but has the memory shunted back into him that he's twenty-something and a technically-convicted murderer, and probably should put them down - somehow 'silliness' doesn't feel like an activity he should be engaging in, despite his...everything else. Instead he tosses them back into the bin and fishes out the softer side of the more protected goods, turning it over in his hands - it was at some point a stuffed dog, but now only passingly resembles one.

There's a towel in there too, folded and set atop a section of other items. Despite the terrible smell, beneath there are much more interesting things - a slumped matt of yellowish fabric and what appears to be a shoebox within the storage bin filled with old electronics in plastic bags: old flip phones, MP3 players, headphones, and cameras. Kazuichi makes a delighted noise as the box is lifted out, rummaging through all the old devices. Some of them look like they've been sitting there much longer than others, but being so well covered meant they were in pretty good condition (for technology found forgotten in the sand). He laughs to himself, biting his tongue as he grins and pulls out one of the flip phones. "Tiny camera!" He says as he flicks the screen up, running his finger over the keyboard. "Fingering out how to power all this should be easy, if half of them even still work. I might need to borrow a hamster for scale reference...but with all of these I should be able to smash something together."

Gundahm snorts as Kazuichi laughs, and as quickly as he'd realized it, the odd guilty feeling in his chest resolves and he fights to keep down a broad smile. He leans over the counter, holds out a hand, and snaps his fingers. Yurei, easily the largest of them and therefore making a terrible model for such a demonstration, squeezes out of his sleeve and into his palm. "...Borrow a different one, I assume."

Kazuichi shrugs. "Any of them willing to sit still for me long enough to have something strapped to their back." He honestly doesn't care who it is as long as he doesn't get his hand torn to shreds. He pushes the boxes to one side, shooing Gundham away as he pulls himself up onto the counter again. He's not quite as successful in his leap this time, the ground outside being mostly sand is a lot less stable and he stumbles a few steps but manages to stop himself from slamming his face into the ground - albeit saved by Gundham grabbing the back of his collar. He grabs the box of electronics and takes another look through. "Do you think I could get away with taking the whole box with me? There might be some good stuff still on some of these. I kinda do miss music..."

Gundham grumbles and releases him, and then goes ahead and kicks sand at him, too, for good measure, only half listening. So much for being deathly serious. "As long as we aren't observed going back, you should be able to stow whatever you want on your person and within your personal space." A prison without wardens is fairly easy to keep contraband in, he imagines. Honestly, though, the idea of finding out what had been on the MP3 players had crossed his mind, and he expanded on it a little with a tilted head. "Given this was a popular resort, these likely come from all over the world."

"Right? So there'd totally be a whole bunch of songs neither of us would ever have heard of! If I can find even one good one on these things...I'd be so grateful. You have no idea how agonising silence is sometimes." Kazuichi adjusts his hold on the box slightly. Ah...now he's actually got to carry this thing around. He hadn't really thought about that. "Well...I should have everything I need, we've got batteries for the smoke detectors and I can scrounge up cables so I'm all set." He looks up at him. "I take it you're not interested in going back inside yet though."

Gundham raises an eyebrow. "Not at all. There are countless portals reflecting silver moonlight that I would like to peer into - beside this, islands being reclaimed by nature in the way this archipelago is, there are probably a lot of small nocturnal species living out here that may not be found anywhere else!"

"That’s true. I'd be interested in knowing what kinds of animals actually inhabit this area." Since, well...in the program there were hardly any animals around. There were a few if you actively looked, but it made no attempt to put a bird around every so often just to be more immersive. "I'll probably just have to carry this around though." Kazuichi shakes the box slightly. "If I put it down somewhere, I'll probably forget about it so best to just lug it around."

"Put something important in it, that way you'll remember to come back for it." Gundham shrugs. "Besides, with our combined mental fortitude, it surely shall not be forgotten...I won't personally bar you from having it accompany us in the following rituals, though." Off he goes, leaving Kazuichi to make his decision - Gundham is already plodding through the sand, gesturing the other to follow - although he doesn't go far without him. Sure, most of these islands probably don't have any mammals on them at all, but what if these are the only ones that have them? Who knows! He doesn't hate crabs, either, though. He'd be plenty happy to find one of those.

Kazuichi grumbles to himself. Something important he says as if he couldn't completely forget about that as well. He struggles to decide for a solid few seconds before opting to just pull his shoes off and stick them in the box. If his feet hurt the whole time, then he'll constantly be thinking about where he left them. That's the logic anyway. Kazuichi jogs to catch up, slowly down to walk beside Gundham as he glances over towards the ocean. It's pretty when it's calm like it is today. "So...do you have any idea on what kinds of creatures you might find?"

"Well. This is a realm I'm still mostly unfamiliar with, its existence in either domain of my parentage impossible: In the icy deep tiers, no liquid water exists - and above, in the magmatic chambers..." He waves a hand in a circular motion as if to say 'and so on'. "If we are lucky we may find the obscure kin of Hajime's origins." Hajime used to have a hermit crab, right? They live out here sometimes, probably...if it were daytime or they had a boat he'd go on about cetaceans, but alas.

"What a roundabout way of saying you don't know." Kazuichi teases. He knew Gundham wasn't as well educated (or perhaps he just wasn't fond of them) on sea life as he was land animals so there was no point in dressing up his answer. He follows Gundham out to some rock pools, watching him slosh through the water in his boots and squat down on the biggest rock to poke around. Stepping onto the rocks, Kazuichi shivers. They’re cold from the water but he might just have to live with icy feet. He hops over, trying not to get himself too wet as he kneels beside Gundham. "Isn't disturbing the water going to scare fish away? Or are you looking for things that don't really swim?"

Gundham gestures unamused at the pool. Beyond the occasional wave lapping at the shore down the beach a little way, the sea doesn't quite make contact. The water swirls gently, circularly. "I don't believe we are in any danger of the denizens leaving unless they happen to also have legs," He starts to shrug his coat off - he doesn't like water, but he'd rather the spirit soldiers not have direct access to it via him dunking his arm up to the elbow in it. "You can't pet fish." He mutters. It's dark, but as far as he knows, anything dangerous would probably be quite polite to him anyways, as most animals are, so long as he tries to stay out of their way. He goes about assessing shapes in the water, poking around at anything that seems interesting. Plenty of barnacles, sea plants and plankton, but he's looking more for some sort of shelled creature he might be able to hold in a hand or set on the rock to observe for a little while.

Kazuichi hugs his knees, watching as Gundham fishes around the pool for a few minutes. "...if you're looking for hermit crabs, wouldn't you be better off digging?" They make eye contact for a long moment and Kazuichi shrugs. "Since, y'know, those guys would probably drown in these pools?"

The eye contact still does not cease. Gundham holds it fiercely. He picks up a shell from the bottom of the pool and turns it over in his hand without looking at it. It starts to squirm, but it's certainly some sort of bored snail instead of what he's looking for. "...Fine. Maybe I don't know very much about the aquatic world. I do not breathe water! And I can not speak to them from beyond the veil!" Out here he can yell if he wants. No such thing as quiet hours.

"Dude, calm down. Marine life is a whole separate field of study." Kazuichi only knows that fact because that's how the class pet hermit crabs died and it honestly makes Gundham more approachable knowing there are things he's not fully equipped to explain. He reaches up and pokes his cheek. "I don't care that you don't know anything about fish. Don't need to yell at me about it." Gundham, a little red but hidden well by the night, bites at the finger and Kazuichi retracts his hand like he’s a nipping dog, a smile eventually forming on his face as he stands up. "You gotta stop being cute..." he mumbles, though with how calm the air is, it's not quite as quiet as he would've hoped. "Come on," he hops back to the other side of the rock. "If you want to find crabs, put the snail back and we'll find some shovels!"

From up above, the way Gundham forces his brow to hang low over his eyes in an eternal dark pout looks especially silly - an angle that people don't usually get upon him, given his height. It's not a term he's used to from Kazuichi. Even in more intense moments, he usually ended up being a lot more crass. He's sure if he really searched his memory, he would find a whispered 'cute' somewhere, but for now, he takes it fresh and sweet and lets it curl up heavy in his stomach. "I'm dangerous." He says, equally quietly, eyebrows scrunched. After a forlorn little look, he returns to his little beast and pats it on the shell before putting his hand back in the water. The snail takes...a little bit of convincing to leave him, but eventually does, and he dries his arm on his sweatpants before standing up himself and sloshing his way back to the sandy beach.

He'd rather catch turtles or frogs or salamanders, but he has always enjoyed the funky little way crabs occasionally take over a beach towel or basket. They're spunky!

"...Before I lived in Tokyo I was always hours from the coast." Gundham mutters as if to explain why he’s so unfamiliar with the ocean. "My mother was a lot like I. Far above such mortal delights as beach trips."

"Ah so pretty in land then..." Unless hours was an exaggeration. Kazuichi doesn’t want to judge someone he doesn’t know, but he can easily imagine Gundham's mother not being very fond of day trips. "I didn't grow up rural but I wasn't super close either. You could get there if you took a train, but I didn't really go to the beach unless it was for school trips." He sort of laughs to himself. "Though, if it wasn't for my old man beating my ass, I never would've gone. It was good though. All the beach activities are pretty good when you do them with other people." He says as he links his hands behind his head, looking up at the sky as they walk. "Maybe when more people wake up we could have a beach party to get the mood up..."

"Landlocked prefecture. The only water people came to visit were hot springs." Gundham shrugs, ducking behind the line of little broken kiosks to check them for their supplies. There are some odds and ends, but nothing to dig with, except some of the plastic implements clearly meant for children. "Didn't like the excursions? Could have fooled me." Gundham admits with a sceptical squint - sure, Kazuichi has an air about him of awful indecisiveness, but he didn't think his positivity was all that overblown. Maybe this was a past issue.

"Nah, I do like excursions, it's always great fun! But when they average a twenty-five thousand yen cost, I figured it was better to just stay home...parents didn't agree with me though." Kazuichi laughs like it's not that big of a deal, picking up one of the plastic shovels. They'll be good enough unless Gundham was desperate to find more proper tools.

"Peko wanted to play volleyball." Gundham follows up, eventually, a half of a frown on his face as if to change the subject.

"...Peko would destroy me if I tried playing against her. She's got some serious strength, especially when she gets competitive."

"Oh, definitely." Gundham agrees, taking a plastic tool for himself as well. "When they reawaken, who would you want to play against?" They all seem like bad options to him, honestly.

Kazuichi hums, hitting his hand with the shovel as he thinks. "Well...if my goal was to have fun and not get a complete workout, probably Ibuki and Fuyuhiko. They're really the only people who would be up for it and wouldn't break my arms with a serve." That list would have included Hajime but now...maybe later when he got a better hold over his new state of mind. "I'd invite you but you don't really like sports." He says as he grabs a bucket as well just in case, beginning to walk further out onto the beach. "Ibuki would probably pick the last person and she'd probably invite one of the girls. Then the best options would probably be Mahiru or Sonia since then we'd get an actual friendly game going."

"I thought Kuzuryu, too." Animated, isn't he? Kazuichi's like...an exaggeration of a person. It makes the emotions on him easy to read, anyway. "He's feeble." Gundham tries to think of more. "...Mitarai, maybe…as Togami, not as much." He's not sure which one to use - he'll find out sometime or another. "The transmutative master would also be easy to best on the battlefield." Gundham starts gesturing dramatically at different patches of sand as they pass, waiting for one to make the grade. "So you've put thought into this, then?"

"Not really, the answer just seemed pretty obvious to me." Kazuichi shrugs as he finally kneels down at a patch of sand. "Mikan wouldn't be fun to play with, Teruteru is kinda bad at sports so it'd be hard to do a rally with him, Hiyoko would never want to play, especially not with me, and Nagito is...Nagito. Everyone else is really good at sports to the point it'd be better if they just played with each other so..." Plus, there's the added benefit of the people that are left being ones he has a pretty alright relationship with so it all works out.

"Ahah..." Gundham assesses the spot, trying to get a good feel for the dampness and depth that Kazuichi has deemed acceptable, and then sits right down, apparently unphased by the idea of sand in his trousers. "...I nearly shared a room with Nagito." He mumbles, making a face, trying to envision that frail man playing volleyball. He's got a very active imagination, but he can't squeeze very much out of it now. As much as he'd love to dramatically plunge the shovel in, he instead starts working with his hands first, making sure for his own sake that there aren't any little living creatures in footstep-range of the surface of the sand, or else he'd feel awful for walking around in his boots so brazenly. Mononoke wanders down his sleeve and sniffs the sand being kicked up, occasionally flinching and retreating for a second before re-emerging again. "I would probably be conscripted into the titans' army." Gundham muses, absently, having plenty of fun just digging his fingers into the damp sand down below for no reason at all beyond to dig. Ah, the marked instinct of the underworld's finest! The desire to dig. "That is, if they could catch me."

"If you say so," Kazuichi says because he's really not sure what he’s even talking about. He does briefly wonder if doing these sorts of things are particularly good for Gundham. Something about doing things you never got to do when you were younger. But also, the guy loved being outside and they haven't really gotten the chance to do that very much so even then it must be nice even if it's at night despite both of them in desperate need of vitamin D. "You know what I do think you'd enjoy?" Kazuichi says as he, too, digs in the sand with no clear direction. "Watermelon smashing. Competitive but everyone still wins in the end by getting to eat."

Once he's gotten wrist-deep without finding anything, Gundham starts going full handfuls of sand, pulling them out of the little hole he's developed - at some point, Mononoke has hopped out of his coat and started to wander around, putting her face in a different area of the beach's sand. The others are starting to get curious, but not quite ready to leave Gundham's coat. He sneers and looks up at him. "...On the beach? Doesn't it get full of sand?" As if he has any qualms with eating a little bit of sand - he's had far worse in his system in much larger quantities. 

"Well if you want to avoid sand, then you could put it on a table or something." It's just one of those summer activities that he rightfully assumes Gundham hasn't had the chance to do. Though, he also assumes the amount of social things the guy has done is incredibly small in general.

"I do like watermelon. Easy to share. Not very much sugar...plus, I am well equipped for destruction."

"See, exactly! Hitting a watermelon until it splits and then you have a whole watermelon you can eat! It's really good when it's kinda hot and you need a snack. Better for you than most barbecues."

Gundham hums. "I'm sure a little bit of sand is good for you." And with that, he dumps a second hamster out of his sleeve. Reikon takes up residence in the hole Gundham had been making, and even with nudging, refuses to leave, so he has to move on to somewhere else, scooting a little to the side rather than directly across from Kazuichi as he jams the shovel in this time to start. He manages to keep from laughing imagining it, but he does sit and smile over it. For a second. Something keeps trying its best to sit directly in front of his vision, to take up his ears - the image of not just some unknown kids at a gathering playing games, but a group of kids that has Kazuichi, specifically, front and centre in his head. He can't tell what emotion he's supposed to get out of it, because every time it flashes, he shoves it down as quickly as he can. This is not normally his M.O - but after everything today, he'd rather just play in the sand and pretend like he has a friend for a moment. Let the feeling of normalcy wash over him in secret, where nobody will know that that's what he's relishing when he stares intensely at the multiple holes they're making, as well as the little piles.

After a little digging, he finds a shell, but an inspection shows that it's empty (except for being packed with sand). It's still interesting, though, and he sets it on top of one of the little packed piles. Mononoke sniffs at it. "I don't mind grilled vegetables or mushrooms. But…it sounds interesting. Maybe a dark crevasse of the human experience I will one day yet to probe for worth."

"I think you should give all those kinds of things a go at least once." Kazuichi says. Back when they were actually students, they had gone and done a lot of those social things. It's...kind of upsetting it took an entire apocalypse for Kazuichi to experience one of the most simple ones with Gundham instead of adjacent to as they death glare each other. But in another way, it's nice that they get to have this moment now. It's quiet, the sun isn't burning them alive. In plenty of ways, it's better than if they'd done this sooner. Kazuichi moves to peer into one of the holes the hamsters have gotten into, smiling to himself as he watches. "I hope that when everything is fixed...we'll hold a fireworks festival and I'll get to do all those sorts of things one more time before I gotta worry about being a proper adult."

"I'll co-sign your plea." Gundham says, genuinely, even though he's well aware that it would be more than warranted if they were denied such a thing. But with Makoto still even partially in charge of their fates, he feels hopeful.

Kazuichi is focused on the dark shape of a hamster, but Gundham, in his newest little hole he's made, has spotted a pore in the sand he hadn't seen before, and once again completely discards the shovel in favor of jamming his hand into it, digging in with a couple of fingers and scraping past something small and smooth. His heart rate leaps and he digs further, flipping the little beast over- "Ah." As perfectly silent as he is when he's bitten by anything ranging from hamster to crocodile to bear, he squeaks when something pinches him, but doesn't let go - and extracts from the sand a little dirty squirming creature that he can't identify in the dark, attached by one claw to pinched skin on his palm. Oh! A crab! It's not a hermit crab, but it's certainly...some sort of arthropod. He puts his other hand below it to give it a foothold, hoping this will encourage it to let go of him.

Kazuichi looks over at him with the sound, trying not to laugh at the sight that sits before him. Well, at least he finally found something. Honestly, he expected there to be more crabs around than this but maybe the program wasn't entirely accurate in what number there really were...or they were just harder to find at night. He doesn't know enough about crabs to really know the answer. Careful not to kick sand into Reikon's hole, he moves closer to Gundham. "Damn, that can not be good." He's never really sought out crabs, but he can imagine getting pinched by one is the last thing you want to happen. "...pulling it off would hurt the both of you, wouldn't it?”

"Maybe not for him. He'd get a good meal out of it, at least." Gundham observes the little thing. It appears very calm, slow moving, eyes swiveling on little tiny stalks. Its other claw is tiny and tucked right up against its mouth. He can't tell color in the dark, but it has a lovely pattern on its back. Or maybe it's just the caked sand? "...Poke him? He only has the one weapon, he's of no threat to you currently.”

Kazuichi gives him an uncomfortable look but decides to do it anyway, awkwardly poking the crab's shell. He feels mostly sand, easily wiping some of it away until he’s able to feel the rough surface properly. It's a little weird. He's eaten crab plenty of times but he's never felt one like this before. "It's got a good texture..." is the most he can say about it. "It might take longer for him to let go if we keep touching him though. He pinched you cause he freaked out, right?”

"The additional prodding was to see him better, not to calm him down. Look at him. He's quite comfortable." Gundham makes a face as he flexes the hand it's attached to and the tiny crab pinches harder. It is oddly speckly. Cute, although it is still a bug, and only technically an animal. "Or crabs have very different stress reactions than I'm used to." He looks up at Kazuichi, teeth bared, although his expression slowly softens. "As if you had anything to do with it.”

"I just touched him!" Kazuichi argues. "He'll only let go when he doesn't feel threatened anymore or you break his damn arm off." That much he does know. It's sort of weird to see Gundham a bit clueless on such common animals when he's got extensive experience with way rarer ones. "Are you just going to wait it out? Won't that make whatever injury he's given you worse?”

Gundham snorts and carefully lowers the little thing back to the sand, setting its little clawed feet onto the ground. "Worse? No, not likely. If you're disciplined by an animal you should remain calm. There are very few exceptions to that law." He's not sure if crabs can sense stress, but if it can, despite not giving much of a shit about the phylum as a whole, he'd like to keep it from also being frazzled by the situation. "Besides, I'm not bleeding. I think.”

"Yeah, the fact that you're not sure is kind of the problem." The sooner they figured it out, the sooner they'd know if they needed to worry about infection. But Kazuichi isn’t going to do anything if Gundham doesn't want him too. Between them, he's still the expert so if he feels safe enough to leave it be for now then it should be fine.So he huffs, moving to sit down properly while being careful to avoid the nearby holes. "Well...at least you found a crab at all. That was the goal.”

The little crab eventually seems to realise it's on sand and begins to dig itself back down into it, eventually releasing the spot between Gundham's thumb and forefinger, although only after giving it a good twist. He tries to stay still but winces, and once the crab has finally let him loose, he pulls his hand away and gives it a shake, looking at it as closely as he can in the dark. There's a black smear over his palm, but it's thin and watery. If it's blood, it's not bleeding very badly. "And given my behavior, he was quite polite. We should try to find a coconut crab next."

Kazuichi shivers. "If those things live on this island, I am going back inside and never coming back out." He can deal with small animals, but the bigger they get, the less likely he is to want to approach them. He leans in to inspect Gundham's hand, squinting in the dark. "Sure you'll be alright with all the salt and sand around? We can go get that covered.”

Something cold and dark drips onto the sand. The wound itself is freezing. "...Fine." Gundham relents after going over four or five different excuses in his head about why he's not capable of bleeding out or being overcome by bacteria, and then immediately finding that they would all be rebuked swiftly. Besides, he's sort of curious as to what, exactly, Kazuichi's going to do about it. There's a part of him that shakes as he holds the vulnerable part of him out and admits to injury, that is horrified at the idea, appalled and embarrassed and a little afraid (only the slightest bit!). But Kazuichi has never been an animal that's tried to pretend to be caring to get near to him. He's never had to. Gundham wonders idly if he needs to now. He remembers coldly resigning to not speaking to him at all the first moments Nekomaru reintroduced them. He wonders, more in the forefront of his brain, if that's what he's doing. If it is, if he even means to, or if he just needs the validation. If he just wants the closeness. But he seems genuine. Like every other person before him, yes, but unlike all of those other times, Gundham has done something to deserve a bit of a burn, so it may not matter so much cosmically if he gets too close. "It seems late, anyway. We still have work to do.”

"Yeah it's late, it's probably midnight." Kazuichi scoffs as he reaches into holes to retrieve the hamsters, kicking some of the sand back into them to make it seem a bit more normal. "We'll get a bandage and then go to bed." Reikon and Mononoke are pretty easily picked up without issue, and so is Gundham, after he arranges himself in such a way as to give Kazuichi his elbow instead of his hand. He is, predictably, full of sand and a little seawater, bogged down enough that he sloshes a little when he walks, but he plods along dutifully. He’s dragged to what was the pharmacy within the program but now he’s not entirely sure what it is, Kazuichi fumbling around a while in the staff area until he manages to find a first aid kit. He holds Gundham by the wrist to keep him stable, tearing open a wet wipe and cleaning the small wound. It’s not bleeding a whole lot which is a good sign. "And this is why we use shovels to find crabs." He sort of mumbles, grabbing a bandage and sticking it down. "If Hajime's successful, you won't have much to worry about if you do get infected or something.”

Normally, Gundham insists he do it himself, but. The grip on his wrist is insistent. The idea of using his hands doesn't really occur to him after years of simply having them tucked away. He looks up at Kazuichi's focused expression. If he had any less sand in his pants, he might be finding it attractive, the contrast of the harsh grip and the softer way he cleans out the wound and then covers it up.

"...What do you think of that?" Gundham asks in a grumble. "About us being split from the endeavor, I mean. I have no doubt that he's genuinely doing as he says he is, at least in terms of what his end goal is.”

Kazuichi glances up at him, eventually shrugging. "I don't know. I get that he probably doesn't want to involve too many people and it's probably something that requires a lot of focus." He figures it's a little unreasonable to feel left out...but he still feels it. He wants to build a camera because he feels weird about having something like that kept secret from him. All he wants is to be told what's going on, then he'll leave them to do whatever it is they need to. "And I mean, it's not like we're the only ones who don't know anything, right?" He laughs awkwardly as he finally lets go. At least he hopes they're not the only ones. Hajime wouldn't do that, right? They were meant to be a team after all. "... you're a lot more upset about it than I thought you might be though." Maybe he's wrong but Gundham never seemed very bothered by things like that. There's always the possibility he feels excluded right now as the newest awake. "Willing to let me strap a camera to your hamster because of it.”

Gundham scrunches his nose. He's quiet for a moment, deciding whether he should say anything or not, weighing, thinking, glancing around the room, and then finally shrugging, a little defeated. "I suppose what I thought I foresaw was trust. Given what you and Sonia have said about the events of the program. Maybe it was naive to think everyone would see it similarly, especially when my real intents were not entirely clean. I was told when I awoke that my case had been one they were intending to study because of my social isolation. And my 'tenuous grip on reality'. But not once have I been contacted after. By anyone but you."

Kazuichi rolls his eyes. "The whole damn thing could be studied." But he really doesn’t want it to be. He likes science, of course, but he'd much rather that just be left as an unwritten part of history. The last thing Gundham needs is to be studied for his decisions. Kazuichi straightens up the space again before speaking. "If what it is is distrust, I'll punch him myself." He takes Gundham’s hand again so they can…hold for at least a little while. "That's not what we need right now. You haven't proven yourself to be untrustworthy so it'd be stupid of him to think that about you.”

If he were a weaker man, Gundham would have cried. For now, he just…lets Kazuichi take his hand, squeezes it, and doesn't stop squeezing it. It doesn't fully register, but he understands the words being said. He gets them. He doesn't completely get how they relate to him, specifically, or how they could, but he doesn't fight it. Just digs his blunt nails into the back of Kazuichi's hand. He pulls him a little closer with it to bump their shoulders together, and then lets him back to arm's length and tugs him back toward the door. He's cold, but the colder he gets, the nicer being inside will be, even once Kazuichi leaves. "What do you presume started him on his crusade?" He asks, just to get the conversation somewhere else. "I haven't spoken to Kuzuryuu. Is he really in dire straits?”

"I wouldn't know. If I had to guess, he's seeing if we can speed things up in case something happens on the Foundation's end. Or he's just legitimately getting worried about physical health needs." He was never an 'Enoshima body parts' guy, but he doesn't imagine those who were are faring well. And it's not as if Kazuichi really knows much about what's going on with Hajime. None of them do except for maybe Hajime himself but even then...he doubts the guy actually knows all that much. Kazuichi's not sure if he became more closed off or if Hajime was always a bit quiet, it’s not as if he’s known the guy for nearly as long as anyone else here. Their hands only part when they make it back to the kiosk, picking up his box of electronics and gently nudging Gundham's arm to indicate they can start walking again.

They fall into silence as they trudge along back. Somewhere along the way, Gundham once again stares up at the sky, trying to see if he can find the same constellation Kazuichi had pointed out to him earlier, but there are so many stars that he's not sure it's possible without a star map. Re-entering feels a little like relinquishing the freedom, but at the same time, he's nervous and excited to see if everything is still the exact way they'd left it, if they'd been successful in their endeavor, part of him almost hopes that they've been found out, and he can start a fire somewhere in the midst of all the frustrating figures he's still puzzling together his feelings about. But it's dark inside, just as it had been before. Nobody is waiting for them, there are no alarms blaring. It's dark, it's silent, and it's cold.

Kazuichi finds himself ecstatic even with the trip coming to a close. It'd been a while since he was able to tear apart a bunch of tech, so this was going to be a great time. He'd be able to hide away in his room for a little while and look through all the old technology...staring at it all in what light remains makes him sort of forget about all his other feelings. "You should have a shower," he says just before they part ways, standing there awkwardly for a moment. "...night, Gundham." He doesn't bother waving because they can't see each other anyway, just pushes his door open with his back and closes it just as fast before the other can even think to respond.

Gundham doesn't look terribly happy about the revelation that he needs to clean, but not very surprised, either. If anyone around here has any sense, they'll likely notice the sandy footprints leading directly to his door, but for now, he's too tired and overwhelmed to care. That was a good hang out though. He should just be happy they did it at all. He never really thought about how you could...miss the night sky. There'd been plenty of times throughout their excursion he'd wanted to grab Kazuichi by the face and kiss him, and kiss him, and kiss him, but suddenly again once they're stood in the hall, and the opportunity undoubtedly arises, he doesn't. He just stays silent and listens to him bid him goodnight, and stands there a little while, counting the wriggling masses in his clothes. At some point, he'd regained his two soldiers sent off.

The hall is still quiet even after a few minutes of standing there, and Gundham returns to his room. Closes the door with a soft click. It doesn't seem to feel the need to check for being closed at all.

He goes to scrape the faceful of makeup off, only to find in the mirror that the ocean wind and playing in the sand has already done some of his job for him. Feeling stiff, gritty, and freezing cold, he releases the beasts back into the room and hops into the shower. He's too old for this. He should be, anyway. This shouldn't weigh on his mind so heavily, but it does. Oddly, though, it doesn't provoke in him the same fire that their earlier encounter had. It was objectively more exciting, yes, but in a different way. Only once or twice, as fleeting thoughts completely of his own design, did he feel concern for himself. No, most of the time, it was sweet. So sweet that it makes him a little dizzy to think about it, so sweet that it almost scares him more than if Kazuichi had stayed cold and distant, but he can't deny that he's still thinking about holding hands while they walk. About Kazuichi teasing and chiding him over crab social convention.

He doesn't get the same sort of release as his last post-Kazuichi-situation shower. Maybe he's too tired. Maybe there's something wrong with him. Equally likely. He dries off and curls into bed without putting the hamsters away. One by one they come up to meet him and invade his space, full of nocturnal energy, until he finally tidies their cages and puts them away to groom themselves and eat before they settle in for the morning to sleep. He, too, is a little exhausted. Enough that once the lights turn on automatically in the morning, he simply covers his head and wallows half-awake for a bit.

Chapter Text

"Unless the parts are all busted, I should get it done in a day, maybe a half." Kazuichi says in between bites of food during breakfast the next morning. His excitement for his new little project practically radiated off of him. "I can probably figure it out. If you can lend me a hamster at like...lunch time, that'd be great." He pauses, pushing his food around. "...or you could...come watch me.”

Gundham glances at him as he talks. Kazuichi is sitting closer than normal, any movement causes their legs to brush against each other. It’s hardly there but he can feel it, and so extends his knee and traps the other's leg behind his own, their ankles crossed under the table. At least then the touch will be more consistent. "So they brought no terrible apparition to your sleeping place? No ghosts of travelers' past?" He raises his brows and quirks his lips - looks over at the cucumber slices that Kazuichi is avoiding. It's only because he's nervous, or something, but Gundham takes the opportunity to spear one and take it for himself, anyway. Payback. It'll help their antagonist image. Right? "Regardless, my soldiers are my personal confidants, they are not to be lent as property. I will be accompanying them to their spyware outfitting, thank you.”

Kazuichi frowns but they both know he's only annoyed by the idea of ghosts because he's terrified of something happening someday. "That's not really what I meant by lend but that works." He says as he not-so-subtly pushes a few other vegetables closer to one side to make it easier for Gundham to reach. (He doesn't seem to acknowledge the contact, but he certainly notices it. He tries very hard not to let it affect him very much but it does for reasons still unknown to him. In some ways, he'd rather this crush - if that's what this is - could just feel the same as all his other ones. At least then it'd be more understandable.) "By the way, if you plan to go outside this morning, do you think you could find me a magnifying glass or something like that? There might be some intended for reading somewhere.”

Gundham shrugs, stifling a yawn behind his scarf as he picks through the small vegetable pile less aggressively. "I can do that," he can go out and look, anyway, "Although I do think it's not exactly the most befitting errand for my power level."

"Maybe you'll find something cool along the way. Besides, it would really help me out." Kazuichi leans over to nudge him gently before returning to his food.

"If I return with treasures far greater than you could ever imagine, I expect repayment in full, and with immediacy." Gundham teases, but then he squints at him for a second. "...Do those obscure your vision?" He asks very suddenly without much indication as to what he’s even talking about.

Kazuichi pauses, staring right back at him with the weird question. "...do what? " He furrows his brows. "You mean my-" he points to his own face. His contacts? Shouldn't Gundham know the answer to that, he wears them too. Kazuichi suddenly shakes his head. "Wait, when did you find out about them?”

"Your eyes are not pink, " he says, pointedly, "with all your assertions of being a human undoubtedly, I can confirm that this is not an option."

Kazuichi frowns. He supposes that's a pretty dead giveaway. "...no, they don't cover up my iris so I can see just fine. It's only a problem if I forget about them and they irritate my eyes." He doesn't really talk about it, but he's not embarrassed by it either. He's not even sure why he chose pink of all things, but he's had his appearance this way for so long that he doesn't have the desire to change it. Not nearly as much as he used to when he was really experimenting. His hair will probably grow back out to its natural colour though - he doubts resources are being wasted on hair dye of all things - and while it's hard to say if he's really happy with the colour, he's also not sure if he feels like himself without it. He does sort of pause, squinting at Gundham. "Why do you ask anyway? Aren't you familiar with all that kind of stuff." I mean, look at you.

"I understand that it's small work, but one with average vision should be able to see the elements in bright light. I'd be more concerned about getting you small implements such as tweezers or needles." Gundham wiggles his fingers as if to give some sort of half-baked example of the coordination needed, and waits on his next bite, anticipating an argument.

"But I've already got that stuff. Believe it or not, I don't only like working with machines." There's the urge to lean closer, Kazuichi finds. The urge to grab his hand. But he's still awfully self conscious about seeming too couple-y. He thinks if anyone asked about it, he'd absolutely break." And your eyes are pretty abnormal too." Sure, far more plausible in the colour than his own but still. 

"Mine is a result of my corruption." Obviously.

"Uh huh, sure. And this is completely real." Kazuichi pokes the tip of Gundham's lightning bolt. "If you're so corrupted and so full of power, why don't you bandage your arm anymore?”

Gundham waves the hand away, thankful that despite absolutely knowing the answer, he’s still being given the benefit of the doubt. Besides, he appreciates a bit of banter. He’d like them to have some back and forth. Gundham sets down his chopsticks and raises the hand they'd been in, his mauled left, and turns it over a couple times as if to have them both admire it. "Because no one is foolhardy enough to dare touch it anymore," he shrugs - even last night, he'd cut his right hand, and Kazuichi hadn't been allowed to touch below his elbow on the other. "I have trained this flock well."

"I thought the bandages contained the power? Are you saying you've released the built up energy?" Even poking at each other, the air around it is much more comfortable. Kazuichi's no longer trying to get on his nerves or prove a point, he's just teasing him and them both understanding that makes this feel so much better. "By that logic..." He grins, leaning in close. "I should be able to touch it without dying. Side effects, maybe, but it should be stable enough now, right?”

Gundham mirrors his movement. He looks sceptical, squinting and setting his jaw tight, still waving his scarred fingers slowly in the air. "It constantly exudes toxic vapor. You would be touching the very surface from which my evil seeps from the skin."

"There being vapour means I've already breathed in plenty to do damage." One hand grabs the back of Gundham's chair, the other is laid flat on the table, a smug grin like he’s cornered him metaphorically and literally. "Plus, you've touched me with it before. Doesn't that mean I'm immune? We should test it. You're right if I get sick."

Gundham's heart goes completely, deadly still, cold in his chest. He turns entirely toward him, using the hook on Kazuichi’s leg that he has to force them to face each other completely. He opens his left hand in the little space that's between them, but the way Kazuichi is sat, it doesn't look especially like he's looking to hold hands, so. He turns it palm-down and hovers it over Kazuichi's chest, not yet touching, brows raised high. Daring. "When every ounce of fluid leaks from your shriveling, dying form, I will be proven correct."

"And when that doesn't happen, you have to admit that I'm right and totally immune to you." Kazuichi narrows his eyes in challenge. He finds himself to be a creature of baffling contradictions. All he seems to notice is their banter while shutting out whatever else plagues his mind. He leans forward, close enough for Gundham's hands to press against the centre of his chest. Almost close enough for more to be touching. He waits a few seconds, his expression growing more confident. "It can burn through clothes, right? Is the effect meant to be instant?"

Gundham breaks eye contact and glances down at his hand. His palm is pressed against the zipper of the comparatively less gaudy jumpsuit Kazuichi now owns, fingers able to feel the tanktop beneath. He watches his fingers curl tightly into the shirt, nails scratching over his skin as he balls his fist. The knee that had been just about in line with Kazuichi's is now coaxing his legs open as he turns him with it. "It won't need to. Clothes or no clothes." His hand unfurls and he runs the palm up, to one side, trying to find his heartbeat underneath.

It’s more than easy to find. It's beating so fast. Kazuichi doesn't want to flinch or move away because that'd be the same as backing down...but he can't sit like this forever. His gaze slowly trails down to Gundham's hand. Maybe... he's getting too comfortable around him. "Well...I don't feel like I'm dying." Not in the way he supposedly should anyway. How easily the assertiveness from his tone fades when he's faced with the consequences of his actions.

Aha. Got it. Gundham takes the sliver of weakness and runs with it. "Hm? Not yet? You haven't figured it out?" He cackles with an evil edge - the dramatics bolster his confidence, and soon he feels very much like he's the one in control, which is ridiculously exciting. He presses freezing cold fingertips into the skin against one of Kazuichi's collarbones and drags them down until he can tap in time with the rate of the heart he can feel, "That unleashed, its allure is all-consuming? That in the end your curiosity has allowed me access to whatever method of freeing your organs I would desire?”

Kazuichi pauses. He wants to shiver but he instead just grips the chair harder. "...is that so?" His face is pink, slowly but surely making its way into red. He has to be overthinking this, right? There's no way Gundham is having the same thoughts he is about this right now! "I guess that's not..." He wants to point out that now he's just inventing new powers but he just can't make himself. He looks back up to Gundham's face. "...and...in the interest of curiosity...what method would that be?”

"Rend you open at the throat?" Gundham puts a pointer finger right at the dip between his collarbones and taps. "Or your underbelly?”

He can feel Kazuichi swallow and nod just a bit. And after a moment, the man half laughs, reaching up to hold his wrist. "Gundham...I have to be honest, you're being really hot right now." He says it so easily but that doesn't mean he's completely free of shame. He just can't sit there forever and pretend that's not what's going on. "Like, to the point where I'm not sure we should be sitting here." The fact that he's finding this of all things attractive makes him feel like a degenerate, but he can't say he isn't one. "I-If you just...don't like being touched, you could just say that instead of…"

There's a second where he hears his name and everything else is gone. After the rest sinks into his head, Gundham pulls his hand back and leans away a little. "It's not that. ...It is that, but it's also, ah," Why's he trying to explain himself? He's doing that fucking thing again, where he thinks too hard about punishing him, about actually carving his nails into Kazuichi's skin, about biting down and— Awful. Awful! Awful. He puts on a front. He doesn't actually like the idea of cutting anyone open, the idea's always made him absolutely sick, he can't even watch slasher movies, what's he doing? What is he talking about? He scoots his chair back fast enough that it rips it and his wrist out of Kazuichi's grip as he turns back to his plate. "Are you finished? I can take both as I embark."

Kazuichi stares, slowly straightening himself out. He glances over at his forgotten food and then back over at Gundham. There's a part of him still...horribly against all of it. He shouldn't be thinking like this and he shouldn't be sitting here only just stopping himself from grabbing him. But he can't deny that he is thinking that way. He can't deny that it is all so very appealing. So when Gundham pulls back, Kazuichi feels his heart fall to his stomach with disappointment. "...I want to kick you so bad." He tries not to sound very angry, pushing himself out of his seat so he can leave.

That sounds good to Gundham too, honestly, and comes with just as much guilt. Kazuichi had broken down and apologized and cried and sobbed about not wanting to hurt him anymore, and now he's thinking about how he'd be very interested in it. In being kicked. In the ribs, maybe...? Once he's freed of his gaze, Gundham takes both of their plates and utensils and starts stacking them. He needs to sit alone for a second. Deep breaths. Develop a battle plan for hitting the desecrated surface under its blinding ray of fire. That's easier to think about. After a little bit, with Kazuichi long gone, he stands up on slightly shaky legs and goes to put their dishes away. Errands, and then lunch. Easy.

Gundham visits his bedroom to get properly dressed, suppressing the Kazuichi-born physical problem as much as he can. This is good, actually - he'll come in again obviously full of sand and it'll look normal. Fine.

(He wonders how much prodding it would take to get Kazuichi to touch him.)

Being out on the beach during the day doesn't have the same mystique as it did the night before, but there are a lot more animals - he finds himself a little distracted talking to and hanging out with gulls. He makes his rounds in the same way as he had done the night before: communications building first, where he hides away the pile he'd accumulated and left last night.

(He wonders if Kazuichi would even be interested in something...different. It would be different than before. Gundham isn't sure he could handle letting Kazuichi simply do with him as he pleases.)

He doesn't expect much from here, especially not a magnifying glass of all things - he does find a couple pairs of reading glasses, though. He pockets a few and continues onward.

(Or maybe even if he couldn't, would that be such a bad thing? It's been so fulfilling before. It felt so good before.)

He hits each of the sales and rental kiosks and the first aid stand and doesn't end up finding anything of use there either. It's the heat of a humid, high noon that makes him decide that the fourteen very friendly gulls taking turns standing on his shoulders and head should go find their own fun now. He'll need to handwash the bird shit off of the sleeves and back of his coat before he heads down to eat, and especially before he goes to the spy meetup.

(But the idea makes him shudder.)

***

With the paper in the door, it doesn't slam in a very satisfying way. Kazuichi grumbles to himself as he kicks the bed frame. Surely, surely Gundham isn't so dense that he doesn't know what he's doing when he does things like that! It's not like he isn't used to blatant rejection when he gets turned on but it feels a lot worse about it now. Maybe because he actually feels a sense of plausibility around it. God damn it, ever since that kiss, Gundham's seemed about a hundred times hotter! Kazuichi gives himself a good half hour to calm down and complain, pressing his face into his pillow. He can't be getting so distracted by teenage fantasies coming true, he needs to focus on his project.

Admittedly, he works a lot slower than he intended to that morning. It's not that he wants to be disembowelled...it's that Gundham would be really hot if he grabbed him by the neck and— Kazuichi slams his head against the desk, away from the pile of torn apart phones. His brain won't stop. It usually stops when he starts working on something. Why can't he zone in on it? What a complete jerk Gundham is for doing this to him.

It’s a few painful hours later when he actually has something to show for his effort. Kazuichi glares at the tiny camera in his hands. He can't tell if he hates it or not. It's not the prettiest thing he's ever created, but it's functional for the intended purpose. At least that's the plan, he can't exactly test it out since he has nothing to upload the data onto. He really needs to start thinking two steps ahead. His head hurts from how much it was slammed down in frustration. He doesn't usually have such a hard time organising his thoughts, but today they're just a mess. He keeps thinking about Gundham's nails. How they're kept short for practicality but can still drag on his skin. How stupid he feels for being such an easy mark when that man would never be so bold in public.

They'll do a proper test run of the camera after lunch. Kazuichi stands up to stretch, leaving the project on the desk. He hopes that a hamster will still be able to fit under a door with it on but he can't guarantee anything.

He shouldn't be upset, it's normal for teasing to go too far, but he...he's new to this. As himself , this is his first experience with everything, so it's normal for him to want more than their current relationship dictates. He feels weird wanting to jump at every chance to make out, but it's just new experience thrills! He's not desperate! Knowing what it could be like doesn't help but he should just take a deep breath and control himself more.

Kazuichi sits in the most back corner seat he can find during lunch. For no particular reason. He doesn't say anything when Gundham eventually joins him. What could he even say? That he can't stop thinking about how close his knee came to— No, not at all. "...camera should be working now." He instead begins with. They should just act like everything's normal, right? All while trying to ignore the lack of a coat on Gundham showing off his, while not the most muscular, still somewhat problematic-for-his-thoughts bare arms.

" Should be? " Gundham asks, holding up various glasses like a hand of cards and offering them to Kazuichi. Most of them are non-prescription, but one or two are bifocals with readers inlaid. The frames come in mostly neutral colors, but one is in a leopard-print, and another is in a pink cat-eye. "Have you not tested it?”

"I have. As much of a test as I can." Kazuichi pushes his food around, glancing up at the glasses. "I don't have a computer so I can't look at the footage to really see if it's any good, but I know it turns on." He'd put a little light on it for testing purposes, but he'll have to remember to take that bit off when they actually go and use it. "It stores all its memory on an old SD card I found in one of the phones so either we plug the camera into something or I get one of the newer model phones working and just put the card in that to check the footage."

"Do you have a plan, then, for data retrieval, or will we be conducting our own experiments in that regard? Today is the first full day of project. He said nearer to three, so...if we need time allotted toward troubleshooting, we have it, although it should be done as soon as possible." Atop the little fanned display of glasses comes a little fuzzy face, and Shiryo squeezes his way out, balancing expertly on the very ends of two separate pairs. He's also getting tiny specks of hamster pee on them, but that's beside the point: he looks, all in all, like a very competent little spy. Very alert. 

Kazuichi scoffs. "It'll be fine! I can figure it out. The thing works so we can still use it today." Just because he doesn't have a way to do it now doesn't mean he's not confident he can figure it out. It shouldn't be that hard, it's all basic tech he understands. "Watching the footage can be...a separate adventure." He says as he picks up one of the pairs of glasses Shiryo is not standing on, playing with the hinges. "...this the best you could find?”

Gundham's head tilts slightly and he gives a soft sigh. He's not sure he has the mental fortitude to keep doing this fake-real fight routine, but there's not much of a choice. He rolls his shoulders back and prepares himself for a scuffle. "I was unable to find a magnifying glass." He confirms with a narrowed eyed look, as if daring him to prod it further.

Kazuichi frowns, briefly trying on the glasses before setting them down again. "Well, it was kind of a long shot anyway." He just brushes it off instead of whining at him about it. "Probably won't need it for anything other than this anyway, so it's not a big deal."

"I brought plenty of options, and you dismiss them with immediacy? What about these?" Gundham picks out the pink ones and waves them a little, Shiryo having retreated to sitting on his wrist. 

"Girly." Kazuichi says as he continues eating. "They kinda work, yeah...and I'll still take them, but I don't think stacking prescriptions is a good idea."

"Girly?! Why?!" He almost seems offended, but drops it quickly, takes a breath, and quirks his lips before he drags a chair up to sit closer to him. Not as close as this morning. Gundham squints. Somehow, it's disappointing that the pink contacts aren't solely for fun. But it's also...interesting? It explains a lot, to be fair. "Fine. If you need a keen eye, maybe me and mine can be of service. If not, we'll make do, yes?"

Kazuichi laughs. "Yeah, sure, if you can learn everything there is to know about camera building in the next five minutes." He does still appreciate the offer, though. He picks up one of the glasses again, staring at it. He might have to actually start wearing them again. Contacts can't last forever and they weren't in any position to be producing more. ...he's not sure how he feels about that. "By the way, why aren't you wearing your jacket?" He asks as he pockets the pair.

"I was out under the sun's rule, which meant I was able to meet with the sun's cohorts. The voracious drakes of the grey mirror's eternal companion the sky have their own societies. Robust as their travel is, their plumbing is not." Gundham’s mood seems to be brightened by the mention of his exploits with avians.

The moment Kazuichi figures out the puzzle that are his words, he laughs again, nudging him with his knee. "Yeah the beauty of nature. " Immature of him to say but he's not the one who brought it up. "...I'm not used to it. You're always wearing long sleeves."

"I'm fortunate the one perched on my head had more tact than the others," Gundham looks down at the knee, a little skeptically, but. Well. Honestly, if Kazuichi is being sweet, making contact, and making jokes, he must not be especially upset about earlier. Or at least willing to move past it. "Really, it's no big deal. I'm more than used to it." He's been cleaning up after animals longer than he's had any other chores, really, although he does feel a bit extra aware of himself in the moment. Not self-conscious, exactly. But very aware. His arms are pale and thin, to the point where his wrists are sort of knobby, and his left hand up just past his elbow is covered in tiny marks as well as larger, deeper ones. The inside of his forearm has an unnatural dip to it, as if part of it has been removed, and sort of odd, wrinkled scar tissue taking the place, pulling the skin's sides together. His other hand is mostly normal, aside from a couple of little marks and scars, but he's not as accustomed to using it as he is to the left, so it has until now kept out of harm's way for the most part. Compared to Kazuichi who actually has a bit of muscle built up on him, his hands come off as long and dainty.

"...I just will have to clean it myself in a little while." Gundham shrugs. There is nothing more in the world he wants to do right now than start talking shit about exuding dangerous pheromones, but he bites it back. "I will be robed and ready when the time comes for serious work. Until then, outfitting our star informant is top priority."

"...you're robed now, it's not a problem. I just usually only see your arms when–" Well, when he's naked, really. Changing for sports was usually the main place, but now he's also got memories of. And now he's thinking about them all over again. Kazuichi wants to scream. Clearly they're not ready for anything like that but god damn it he'd love to see this guy's bare chest again. "Never mind." He almost grumbles, mostly because he's upset with himself. "Do you want to go see if the camera fits now?"

"Not just I, but all around me, will succumb if I don't," Gundham mumbles, brows furrowing at the frustration in Kazuichi's tone - is there something he should be picking up on, here? Come on...how's he supposed to figure something so vague out? "Lets. I already ate." (He may have stocked up on snacks for the gulls and ended up nibbling on it himself.) "I've chosen Shiryo for the job. He's...eager. And lithe. And able to defend himself and any parcel he may be carrying." Shiryo gives an audible chirp.

"Cool, just as long as he doesn't get bitey." Kazuichi stands himself up, waiting for Gundham to gather himself before he begins walking. Good, actually, this is very good! Gundham can come in and leave and he'll have the rest of the day to stop thinking about all the things he wants those hands to do to him! He can go back to being normal and getting hot over tanks instead! Kazuichi sat down at his desk, pulling his chair in to give the camera one final look over before holding it up. "I figured velcro would be the easiest way to do this. I'm not sure how comfortable it'll be for Shiryo though…"

"Maybe I should put it on him?" Gundham asks as he keeps up behind him, hands in his pockets, elbows pressed to his sides. "To minimize biting of the uninoculated." Minimize, he's still probably going to be nipped a few times, but he's just like that. He's a sweetheart, really! Gundham leans over the desk, elbows on the table, and whistles, having Shiryo waddle onto center-stage. "As long as you don't plan on gluing the velcro directly to my friend, it'll be fine. I can easily tie up a harness he'll be fairly comfortable in." Hopefully.

"I won't, he shouldn't lose any fur he's not meant to." Kazuichi looks down at the hamster, hesitating. Was it really worth getting bitten for this? He decides probably not. He holds the camera out to Gundham. "Just strap it on him so it's facing this way." He says as he points to the lens. "And then flip this switch.”

Easily - Gundham gives the little guy a scritch on the top of the head and a kiss, and once he's relaxed a little, worms him into his little contraption, something that the hamster does surprisingly calmly, so long as Gundham is baby-talking him the entire time. It makes his poor cheeks puff out a little more than they usually do, so he looks extra chubby, but once Gundham smooths down his ruffled fur and makes sure he's looking sharp, he can't help but get excited again. Look at him! He's so cute! He looks wonderful and professional! The idea of equipping his soldiers with a machine bothers him a little, but honestly? He's getting over it. He's getting over it very quickly. He pulls his hands away and waits to see if Shiryo will put up with it on. Shiryo stands there, perfectly still, nose twitching while he sniffs, and then makes an attempt to walk. It's a little...awkward. He stumbles a little, but he isn't trying to weasel out of it, so that's a positive. He looks sort of sad, waddling around trying to get his footing while wearing the little backpack camera.

Gundham covers his mouth with his scarf first and then both hands to keep from laughing at the poor little thing. "You don't have to do this." He reassures him, squatting down to be eye-level with Shiryo, who has a fiery determination in his little eyes.

Kazuichi finds that he rather likes how proud Gundham looks. He likes thinking about the very fact that he even gets to see him like this and that he gets to see it because of his own effort. It makes him feel a bit warmer. "Is it maybe a bit heavy for him?" He hadn't really thought about what the weight would be like for a hamster. Not that he even knows how much those guys can carry. "Should I have tried to cut down on the materials a bit or is he just getting used to it?"

"Is it heavy?" Gundham relays the question as if he's translating, and the hamster stares, having taken the same aggressive stance he'd used with Hiyoko the other day. He's still. "Or perhaps too tight?" Shiryo waddles a few steps forward and Gundham barks a laugh, burying it under a cough like maybe he can convince Kazuichi that's what he'd been doing instead. "Okay. Come here. Come here, I'll make it better." The hamster lets him fiddle with it a little, and then starts giving it another shot, shuffling around on the table. "No, it should be alright. Most of my natural-bodied numbers act like this when you put things on them." He spent quite a while sprucing up pomeranians for pageants and dog shows, and it was rare to find one that took to bows and bandanas and coats and booties and such without a little bit of a learning curve. "He could get out of it at any time he wanted, especially since I've loosened it." But he hasn't yet - he's still working on dragging his little butt around, and is now nosing around the other supplies on Kazuichi's desk to look for things to nibble on.

"If you say so. As long as he can wear it long enough to get into the pod room and can get it back to us, it should be fine." Somehow, Shiryo seems a lot less intimidating with the camera on. When he's walking so carefully, he seems way more approachable. Kazuichi does start cleaning up the desk though to stop him from chewing on something he really shouldn't. "No, you can't touch those." He says as he pulls it back into the box and puts it down on the floor. "Not letting you swallow anything that could do some real damage.”

Gundham focuses still on Shiryo, even though the hamster doesn't look like he's listening - especially since he lunges at a wire hanging from the box as Kazuichi pulls it away. He manages to catch it, but lets go too soon to have it go anywhere but right onto the floor. "He doesn't seem worried, and so I, too, have confidence." Gundham flips the little switch, stands all the way up again, one hand on his hips, and holds out the other for Shiryo to climb into. "Posthaste. Make the most of the reference frame of the scrying stone upon your back, for its memory is not eternal like ours. Upon your return you will be rewarded, but only if your work is satisfactory. I want clear shots of everyone present in the room or at its doors, and as much undisturbed footage of their actions as is possible. The standard you are held to is high!" He holds the hand with the hamster in it out dramatically, sinks to his knees on the floor, and releases Shiryo onto the short, musty carpet. He hops off and stands there for a second before shaking his whole body once, turning around, and high-tailing it out of there - he's not perfectly silent when leaving the room, as the camera lens on his back gives a little click as it slips under the doorway. But it's not left behind, and Shiryo doesn't return. Gundham lets out a relieved breath, and then raises both hands in (a very premature) victory.

He's so cute…

Chapter Text

"So...are we going to just split up again until Shiryo comes back?" While Kazuichi does think it's probably the best for him right now, he can't say he wants to. Gundham's so excited and he likes seeing him excited, even if he doesn't express it the same way other people might. Kazuichi likes the way he looks right now. He wants to spend more time with him so maybe he'll understand himself or the weird feelings will just go away.

Gundham’s arms fall into his lap and he turns to look over his shoulder at Kazuichi and shrugs, just the tiniest amount, and then pauses, a snarl crossing his face. It's his thoughtful face, though one may not recognize it, with the way it's usually hidden behind a placid lip-purse or a scarf. "...I don't know. Have you fallen ill yet?”

Kazuichi can't help but blush. Of course he'd have to bring it up again. "I don't think so..." He presses a hand to his cheek and runs it back to hold his neck. "I feel fine...mostly.”

Gundham lowers himself down to his butt on the floor, spreading his knees with a huff. Why wouldn't he bring it up?! He wants to know if he's doing alright! ...And get a feel on what the...thoughts on the situation are. "Elaboration?" Not that it's necessary, he totally knows what that means, but...for, uh...Kazuichi's sake. Yeah, it helps to talk about it to identify your feelings, right? Which is probably what he's dealing with, definitely, and not just being coy on purpose as some kind of test.

Kazuichi frowns, sitting on the floor across from him. "Well, I might've done a bit of damage from how much I hit my head earlier." He doesn't really hurt now, but it still wasn't a great idea to smack himself against a table to force focus. He might get a bit of a lump or a bruise. But what else does Gundham want him to say? That he's disappointed he didn't disregard his own desire to start small? That he kind of hates that he did the responsible thing and left? Yes, he knows very well he'll feel like garbage after they do the things he's thinking about, but that doesn't stop him from kind of wanting them. 

Like how he wants to sit between Gundham's legs and lean back against him. He looks like he'd be so comfortable. "...what side effects do you think I should be feeling? A-Aside from the whole...allure thing?"

"You hit your head?" Gundham blinks at him. Kazuichi’s face had been looking a little blotchy, but he figured it was heat or exhaustion or...something. He can't decide right away if he wants to laugh or be concerned, and he ends up on the latter and shakes his head. "Terrible news, the overwhelming desire to behead yourself by liquefaction of the skull is indeed one of those lingering maladies."

"More like I was trying to make my brain shut up about how pretty you are." Kazuichi mutters. Not that it worked. It never did yet he keeps doing it to this day. "So you think it's over for me? I'm gonna kill myself because of this?”

Gundham’s heart skips a beat. If he had big upright ears, they'd be flat against his head and with his tail between his legs. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down a little. He can feel every ounce of the heat that's normally dispersed through his body pool in his face, almost feverish, like he might be sick. "Dying is the eventuality, yes. Unless you somehow combat the venom. Very few, if any, have ever become immune, though, I will say, and it's..." One for one, he thinks to himself, he gives one, he gets one - "It's bleak and lonely being left in the midst of my own wasteland."

Kazuichi can't tell if he'd rather this be poison or if he actually finds this guy to be deeply attractive. He shuffles closer, puffing out his cheeks as he grabs Gundham's left arm and almost hugs it. "Then it'll hurt less if we speed it up, right? I'll be vomiting up my guts within the hour."

Gundham actually visibly startles and follows the first instinct of pulling his arm away - Kazuichi's too tight, though, already on him, and he’s left with twitching fingers trying not to touch anything and a brain overheating from the blood in his head and the new warmth coming in. It's like lying on a heating pad. He wonders if from this distance Kazuichi can hear it too: the thumping in his ears that's so loud. When he turns to look, red-faced, Kazuichi is pouting at him. He pulls his own bottom lip into his teeth and bites down, focusing mainly on regaining his composure. When nothing comes to him he rearranges the arm that's locked up in the other’s grasp, trying to find a hand somewhere in the tangled mess to hold onto. "Hmm. It was stupid, maybe, to start, but it is a brave decision you're making now, to carry on." 

"Unless it's an apology for making me hard, I don't want to hear it." Kazuichi says as squeezes Gundham's hand. "I still kind of want to kick you about that." He feels a bit better, getting upset about it now. Mainly because the majority of the feeling has dissipated by now, so he can express it without actually needing to do much with it. "And I mean it, you gotta stop. You can't get really close to me and say things that sound super hot." He squeezes him a little harder. "I mean...the first time was fine, ‘cause you kissed me, but every other time-! You can't keep doing that."

Gundham scoffs and squeezes him back, "I thought you didn't want-...tch," he shifts a little so his feet are unfolded from underneath him. "I didn't think that ripping you open would be ‘hot’ to you! I thought it would be scary ." That answers a lot of his questions, though, and in ways that he was really hoping wasn't the case, if only for the sake of going slow. He grits his teeth. "I didn't even do anything when I kissed you. Except kiss you.”

"No, what you did was hold my hand way too tight and make me look at you." A kiss on its own might've been fine. If it had been gentle then maybe he wouldn't be feeling all of these sorts of things. But no, Gundham just had to have held him like that and just had to have said things in his totally not absolutely sexy voice! "And ripping me open is scary, but when you say it like that while touching my chest and being two centimetres away from being on top of me, it becomes extremely attractive! I thought you already knew I was an absolute fucking pig."

Gundham’s heart is about to beat out of his chest and his jeans are about to have a hole bored straight through them. He can't help but notice that Kazuichi is doing the same thing - sitting beside him on the floor, holding his hand so tight their knuckles are white, and leaning in just enough that he's all he can stand to look at. Gundham sucks on his teeth. His head is foggy. His mouth is so dry, he's not sure Kazuichi would want to kiss him right now, anyway. Pig. Pig, pig, he is, sort of, isn't he? He says he doesn't want any, but then when it's in front of him, he can't help but beg to be fed. He shouldn't be thinking that way. He shouldn't be letting Kazuichi say things like that. If they're really friends, he should stop and reassure him. "So I could say almost anything and have it still turn you on if I do it closely enough?"

Kazuichi seems to think about that for a moment. "Probably." He shrugs. "If I think you're attractive and my brain can take it in that direction, sure." Not that he's ever tested the extent of it given that it's actually kind of a newer development in his personality, but he's pretty sure that given the results so far, that would probably be the case. He does, however, squint at him. "But you can't just tease me whenever you want. I might actually punch you if you do that."

Gundham can't help himself. The idea coming into his head makes some of the blush drain away, and the freeing feeling is so strong that he says it despite knowing he shouldn't. "I thought you were repenting for your sins. The truly remorseful don't usually repeat them."

Kazuichi groans in frustration, his face getting redder the longer they sit here on this topic. "I am remorseful! It would be your fault for making me think about how great it would be for you to choke me and then just not doing anything about it!"

"Is that what you think of me? That petty revenge - especially petty revenge that gets you off - is what sort of repayment I would want? What part of ‘being nothing but an instrument in your pleasure again’ screams remorse to you?!" The red in Gundham's face stays strong, but he can feel the anger behind it start to take over the butterflies he'd been feeling a moment ago.

Kazuichi bites his tongue looking away. He hates to hear it said out loud. He's right, it doesn't seem very remorseful of him, but that's exactly why he's been getting upset with himself about it. He loosens his hold enough so that his nails aren't digging into him anymore, leaning his head on his shoulder. "...that's not what I meant…"

Gundham's grip releases, too. He doesn't let go. He just...holds him very loosely. Breathes deeply. Tries to push the rage out of his body. He sits rigidly for a second, not sure what to do. "...Even so. The alternative isn't much better. I don't want to hurt you. I have said this from the beginning. I don't want you to want me to hurt you." It's- it's true! It's true, it is, but it's a lie at the same time. Is there some sick fascination in it? ...He hates that there is. But logically. Emotionally. With his whole heart, he doesn't want it for revenge. He doesn't. "There must be some corruptive force influencing this belief. It is not one I have purposefully implanted within you." 

"...I wish. I thought getting slapped was hot before any of this." Kazuichi hopes that reassures Gundham a bit so that he knows it's not that he wants to be beaten up for any weird reason...he's just a degenerate who has always wanted that. "I know you don't want that...and I feel bad for kind of wanting it. We don't have to do anything ever, I just..." he sighs, shuffling closer to lean into him more. "I'm too easy to please and too easily frustrated by the lack of something, y’know?"

Gundham curls into him with a sigh. The closeness is nicer than he thought it'd be, and when it's not intense, jerky movements. Tight squeezes and slow, burning touches are relaxing. It helps him put his heart rate to rest. He raises a hand to put his forearm over his eyes so Kazuichi can't see them, bottom half of his face nuzzled into his scarf. "...I pleasured myself after I kissed you. Last time." Fuck, why did he admit that? It felt relevant. It still does! He just has to make it. "I'm saying I understand the frustration, I mean." ‘And I thought about making you do whatever I wanted, and I thought about you, having my hands behind my back, pressing against me, and I thought about needles, and I thought about welding torches and hot flashes late at night, and-’ He wants to add, so desperately, to reassure Kazuichi that he's not the only one, but it gets stuck. He can't. "I...my duality necessitates that both evil and pitiful desires are in my blood." That's as close as he can get.

...and Kazuichi wants to just sit in his lap and hug him, but he doesn't move. He feels hot and embarrassed, but he's also sort of grateful that he gets to be this close with someone at all. "Admitting it just means I'm gonna think about it..." He mumbles as he caresses Gundham's knuckles. He didn't need to know that they're both hopeless, but it does kind of help. "Sorry, we're not going very slowly if we're already talking about this stuff."

"It was terrible. You shouldn't think about it. I couldn't stop thinking about how I felt like a disgusting teenager." Gundham leans back with a grumble and stretches his legs out in front of him. He raises their hands to his mouth and kisses his thumb. "The seal was created for your comfort, not mine."

Kazuichi turns his head to look at him. "...I don't think I know how to go slowly." Not just in general. They already have so much history that even before this part, he’s having a hard time starting on a new page. And now that he's admitting to himself this guy is in fact attractive, he doesn't know what to do even more. "I...I don't know if I really want people seeing much, but...I want to touch you and kiss you more so I stop feeling all weird about it."

Gundham turns with a grunt, throws his leg over the other, and sinks down until their thighs are touching. He doesn't let all his weight down, instead holding himself up on his socked toes. "...I will not be subservient. But I will not be harsh, either. Behind closed doors or outside them."

Kazuichi braces himself with a hand, staring directly at him. He can feel his ears burning. He loses his words for a moment, nodding as tried to stay calm. "I-I can live with gentle." He confirms, even though that will surely not stop his fantasies. "We don't have to do anything you don't want."

A hand meets Kazuichi's shoulder. Gundham holds the other one loosely, still near to his face, breathing warm air across the back of Kazuichi's hand. He sets a kiss on it and then drags his lips, slowly, over his knuckles.

"...I want both of my hands on you. The entire time." That's the very first boundary that springs to mind. He tries to skim his head for more. "Don't grab my wrists. Don't-" He pauses, and then tries his best to remember that he's supposed to be big, and evil, and bad, and powerful. "You'll call me 'Gundham'. No pet names. No 'Tanaka'."

Kazuichi watches closely. It looks as if his brain stops completely for a good few seconds. He'll be able to handle all of this someday, he just needs to get used to it. He swallows, taking in a deep breath and nodding again. "I can do that." He hopes - his brain might completely shut off and he'll forget one of the rules, but he trusts himself enough. "I'd...really like your hands to stay on me."

The hand on Kazuichi's shoulder trails down his chest until it's only the tips of his fingers making contact, gently, barely, with the clothing over his stomach. Forced to look down, Gundham can see himself: bare, goosebump-covered arms, shaky fingers, bulge straining in his jeans where he'd tucked himself off to the left this morning. And he can see Kazuichi, too. Under him. Under him… "Can we keep holding hands?" He murmurs, not making eye contact - instead, fixated on the scene between their bodies.

Kazuichi can't help but be hyper aware of the hand. It's...nothing, he can barely feel it but he knows it's there and it's so nice. He doesn't want to look down because he might lose focus on his breathing, instead just vaguely staring off into Gundham's direction. "Please." He gently squeezes his hand. "...am I allowed to touch you as long as I stay away from your wrist?"

"...Yes." Comes the answer after a second of analysis, and Gundham's body visibly relaxes a little as he takes and releases a shuddering breath. "Yes." Like he's reassuring himself, too, because he sort of is. "...You said my wishes were first and foremost. What if I wanted to stop?"

"Then we'd stop." He says as he carefully places his hand on Gundham's shoulder. "I'd...really appreciate it if you told me immediately if you ever want to stop. Don't ever let me go too far."

His whole body shudders as he sucks in air. "...Also, I keep the scarf on.”

That's the only rule he's a little disappointed about, but Kazuichi nods anyway. "Whatever you need...I'll keep my hands away from it too."

Gundham twitches in his pants. His hips stutter a little. He leans forward and touches their foreheads together, his breath still uncomfortably heavy. Dizzy, he shuts his eyes and goes in for a kiss. If he's to be believed, then...then...the only way to go is forward. Gently, he pulls his right hand around high on Kazuichi's waist. He can believe him. He can. He obviously wants to. This was his decision. These chanting thoughts aren't new - but what is is the fact that they're backed up by something different than before. They're reassurances, not mantras for distraction. They're hopeful, instead of miserable. He hums, low like a growl, against Kazuichi's lips, and Kazuichi hums right back, squeezing his shoulder as they kiss slowly. Nothing is how he ever imagined it would be. Kazuichi never thought he'd be kissing a guy or be so anxious of what comes next. His entire life didn't go according to plan. But now he's here, in such a complicated dynamic with someone who might genuinely like him. And he's scared. Of messing it up. For it all to not last nearly as long as he wants it to. He's so terrified of something ruining all of this sending them back to square one. But as he kisses him and his fingers gently brush the back of his not-quite-shaved-anymore head...he wants to be excited...and he feels desired in a way he never has before.

Another throb at the sound. Gundham’s face is hot. Kazuichi's breath is hot. He goes directly for another touch of their lips, and another, and another, breathing him in. He focuses all of his anxiety into his left hand where he holds onto the other tight, knuckles straining with the force. He's wanted this. He has. It feels weird to have now. He never necessarily thought of Kazuichi as above him - no, that's not the reason this would never happen - just...so far away. So human and confusing and volatile. So angry and uninterested. Gundham had always thought of him as a human wearing the skin of the devil just to reap its benefits, but the way his fingers rake troughs of flame on his scalp, even with the lightest of touches, he realizes now that he may be something else. He may be fire inside a human vessel. He might be smoke or steam. Whatever it is, he's hot, and he's consuming.

Gundham jerks his hips suddenly and groans as he drags himself across Kazuichi's thigh and back. Kazuichi gasps, gently grabbing the back of his head in surprise. Even so, he can't come up with a single thought about it other than a plea for this not to end. Before, there'd be a constant stream of conflicting thoughts, all of which he tried silencing by doing the first thing he could think of until he got his little high and could fall asleep feeling a hollow something. But right now , Kazuichi feels as if he's forgotten how to speak. Kissing is the only thing that's reminding him how to breathe. He's hot, he's anxious, and he wants everything at once to the point he doesn't know where to start. Or perhaps he's scared that if he lets any thought get in, it'll ruin everything. After a moment, he wraps his arm around him completely, giving him a reassuring squeeze as he deepens their kiss.

Gundham could cry. He thinks he might be, but he can't quite tell. Too busy opening his mouth, and instead of letting Kazuichi in, pressing hard against him and taking center stage, testing the points of his teeth with his tongue. Kazuichi tries so hard not to moan because it'd be so lame of him to do so, but Gundham's tongue is...greatly exaggerated in how good it feels right now. His lips are trembling and neither of them are being very bold but he's never felt as amazing as he feels in that very moment.

There's a short hiccup in Gundham’s breathing and he has to pull back, but replaces the gesture with putting his face into the other’s neck. "...on the floor?" He asks, quietly, his voice the same low rumbling confidence except for the slight wetness to its edges.

Kazuichi’s body shivers. He doesn't want Gundham to move away. He doesn't want to stop for a second and he wants to stop feeling like he's sweating through his clothes. He breathes very heavy and obvious, taking a moment to find his words. "If you want." He whispers, swallowing as he tries desperately to start his brain again. "Or we can move...I-I don't care…"

Where he’s tucked against Kazuichi's throat, Gundham kisses lightly. He doesn't want anyone to see that he's been there. If he's going to be reverent anyway, he's going to give it his all. He's going to truly revere each part he gets to touch. "Lay back." He says, finally. The hard-on against his thigh very obviously jumps at some thought or feeling Gundham's just had. "I'd rather you not fall backwards later and hit your head again."

Kazuichi finally makes a noise, a high and excited whimper as he lays himself down. He wants to tell him how much he wants him to keep kissing his neck, but he doesn't. The praise and desperation die on his tongue leaving him with only his expression and the way he still holds onto his hand. It's sweaty between them, but he doesn't care. Gundham is melting his insides with how attractive he is and he doesn't want to let go. Gundham follows him down, leaning over the top of him, straightening his legs, holding his knees apart just enough to lower himself, finally, crotch to crotch. He holds himself up with his forearms, but only barely - now he's placing some weight on the one below him. Testing.

"Kazuichi." He murmurs as he leans down for their lips to meet again, giving slow, conservative rolls of his hips.

"Gundham..." he whispers back, kissing him with an open mouth and letting his tongue dart out every once in a while to encourage him. He can't tell if it's just been too long or if he's genuinely incredibly turned on by all of this, but either way, he moans into his mouth. He feels like he might be a little too excited, but he can't help it. His hips jerk slightly every once in a while, keeping himself steady otherwise to allow Gundham to follow the pace he's most comfortable with. Because either way, he's getting what he wants so why rush?

No rush. No rush. No rush, even though hearing that quiet word has Gundham’s stomach churning and his thighs tightening hard in anticipation. He has to keep it slow and calm or he'll-...he's not sure what would happen, honestly, but it has him horrified to think of, so he shoves it aside. All he needs is the little voice breathing his name. It doesn't take much coaxing to get Gundham back in, dragging his tongue through Kazuichi's teeth with a low groan. The hand on the waist lowers to his hip. Pulls forward to his stomach again. Starts to try gathering fabric to push it up his midsection, clumsily trying to reveal skin.

Kazuichi's teeth graze his tongue but not enough to cut or bite even as the tongue presses against the points insistently. He has to urge to but he knows a punctured tongue is probably the last thing they both want to deal with right now. He whimpers, his hand finding Gundham's fingertips and gently coaxing them to follow where he presses them against his zipper as if to remind him of his outfit choices. (Right. Right…) He then lets his hand slip back up to his hair, playing with the longer strands. Gundham makes a little noise of annoyance but does as he's asked, peeling the zipper open as low as it will go and then pulling his tank top up, running his hand over his stomach, over his chest, and back down. He knows from some experience that the little trail of hair Kazuichi has is dark. Not enough to dye. Black coarse hair in wisps under his straying palm, between him and the stomach below that's heaving with labored breath and forced whines.

Kazuichi’s skin jumps under his touch. He likes how cold his hand is, the contrast makes his nerves tingle. It sort of helps too given he's fairly certain he might actually overheat himself at this rate. He can't stop how his hips move. They sync up with Gundham and he wants to move them fast but the voice in his head is begging him not to, to enjoy this and just let Gundham decide it all. He'd say his name again if he wasn't busy sucking on his tongue.

Gundham curls his fingertips and stuffs them lower, cold knuckles pressing into Kazuichi's lower stomach as his fingertips dive underneath his boxers. They're facing up, so he's mostly just feeling the fabric as he works his way down. He's not sure what exactly...to do? So he sort of runs his fingers back and forth under the waistband, hoping to gather up the need enough to overcome the hesitation. He's moving in time with their rubbing, groaning, and opens his eyes enough to look over Kazuichi's flushed face. It's a good thing that being unsure of social convention has rarely stopped him from finding his own way around situations. Unsatisfied with the way the zipper, even open all the way down, still pinches together into a tight V-shape right where he wants to play, his hand goes back up, over Kazuichi's chest, to push the sleeve off of his shoulder.

Kazuichi’s entire body shakes. He almost can't believe any of this is actually happening as he pushes himself up to awkwardly help Gundham undress him more. They have to let their hands go briefly and before he wiggles out of the jumpsuit to midthigh, Kazuichi takes the opportunity to grab at Gundham's chest. He doesn't try undressing him - the scarf is in the way of that and he's much too occupied with kissing - but he does let his hands trail up his sides and squeezes his pecs.

Gundham pulls back, wiping his face. Are they really that uncoordinated? His whole chin is wet. He has drool on his cheek. He places his hand over the one Kazuichi has on his chest to keep him there, reassuringly, as he breaks away and looks down at the two of them, sitting back up on his knees a little. He tosses both ends of his scarf over his shoulders and squeezes Kazuichi's hand. "Unbutton." Is all he says, gruff, quiet.

Kazuichi smiles at the single word, grabbing his shirt tighter. He wants to pull him close and bite him all over but instead just focuses on doing what's been asked, fingers pulling open button after button. His eyes finally trail down, watching his hands and admiring the sight before him. Gundham may be concerningly pale, but he really is gorgeous from here. Perhaps he's just overexcited, but he's always had such an impressive and soft looking chest. "You're so far away now..." he pouts at him even though his lips are still tingling from earlier, watching Gundham pull the shirt open completely as Kazuichi grabs his thighs and starts working lower.

Gundham takes a moment to compose himself, just staring and huffing lightly, not turning his eyes away even as his shirt and jeans are undone. Kazuichi's hands are warm through the fabric. That's exactly what he'd been hoping for when he'd touched himself the other night, for that warm feeling to penetrate through his clothes, for a hot handprint to be left on his thigh. He also finds that he really enjoys looking down at Kazuichi's half-clothed body, noting where his hair is thick and where it's wispy, trying to piece together the shapes under the clothes remaining into an image before he goes revealing it all again for himself. "Would you like me closer?" He asks, sinking his hips down a little and giving a roll against him with them - he's rutting against the inside of his own open zipper and it's uncomfortable, but he's not sure he's ready to be bared in front of him yet, especially when having the shirt off feels so open and cold already.

Part of Kazuichi hates how he whimpers, how he nods so easily, but he's kidding himself if he thinks he can be any more composed in a situation like this. He enjoys this too much to ever be calm, and it's not like he's ever been subtle about enjoying it before. "Yes...please." His hand moves up, tracing the hem of Gundham's pants to feel his skin jump before moving higher to wrap both arms around his neck. "Super close." He wants to tell him how hot he is right now, how he's going to think about this until the day he dies, but he doesn't. Maybe because he'd rather just shut up and admire him, or maybe because he feels like it'd seem like desperate begging...or maybe it's both. Kazuichi instead leans up, straining to reach and swipe his tongue over Gundham's lips. "...I like when you're close."

"You're warm." Gundham mutters against him, as if it's an explanation or excuse. Like he needs a reason. How does someone like Kazuichi Souda have any right to be so romantic? To be so sweet? What is this? It almost doesn't feel real. He wants to say it. He wants to say that he feels warm and sickly sweet, that somehow, Kazuichi has been rocking him back and forth between paying attention to his dick and wanting nothing but just touch, something he never wants. Something he's never fucking wanted. ...Or maybe he has. Maybe he has. Maybe he's wanted this so much? He certainly does now. He's not sure what to think. He's moving so slow he almost doesn't realize he'd been doing it until he makes contact, a chaste sort of kiss at first. "You're too far gone if that's what you truly think," he teases him a little between kisses, "to trust me like this…I just don't know." The last times they'd kissed deeply, he'd snuck his tongue into Kazuichi's mouth, but this time he pulls Kazuichi in. He's sitting on top. He's okay. He's alright. Kazuichi is being so fucking sweet. He's okay. He invites Kazuichi in, mouthing at his bottom lip and tongue with a low hum that rumbles his chest and his body that he's trying so hard to press against the other as closely as he can.

Kazuichi would argue if he had the brain capacity to. Of course he trusts Gundham, he doesn't have a reason not to. If anything, it's a miracle Gundham trusts him right now. Sure, maybe he is too far gone or something, but it's not like he cares at that moment. It feels too nice being touched and held. He's so careful in the way his tongue enters his mouth despite the reach it has. He mimics him by tracing his teeth before humming and letting them fully intermingle. He can taste nothing but his saliva but even that seems so sweet. If anything, it's purely just...him and that, somehow, is amazing. He arches himself forward, letting their chests graze against each other as if to encourage him to lay down. Sure, he might end up crushing him with the weight, but it's not as if he was finding it easy to breathe in the first place. A hand tangles through Gundham’s hair, the other rubs up and down his back. Kazuichi finds himself shivering every time his fingers run across raised or dipping skin. At this point he'd be very unsurprised if he thought scars were hot...Gundham had so many to begin with, it adds to his look, doesn't it?

Finally, as though the convincing has worked, Gundham's body relaxes atop him. As their hips meet, heavily slotted together, Kazuichi can feel the little jump of the erection against his. The little excited twitches and throbs coming in waves while he lowers down with a sigh through his nose, as it's the only part of his airway that's clear - he couldn't take a breath around Kazuichi's tongue if he wanted to. He's so warm. It feels like standing by a campfire, his front burning hot and his back freezing cold. Gundham’s own hands roam a little, too, now freed. One down Kazuichi's side, the other going from chest to neck, the crook between his thumb and forefinger where he still has a scab meeting the throat. His thumb tip goes up to Kazuichi's chin and holds it gently, loosely, as to let him continue moving his jaw.

Kazuichi hums, he feels as if he could just melt against him. His hand drags on his back in a way that's just shy of using his nails. He leans into Gundham's touch, effectively pressing against him more and more, unable to really stop his hips from rolling anymore. Even if he knows the friction could be better...he has no desire to take this feeling away just yet. He pulls back from their kiss, not very far, and gives them both a moment to pant and take large breaths into their lungs. It's all too perfect. Their messy hair and single layer of clothes between them. Kazuichi finds himself confused as to how they even ended up like this but not so much that he wants to stop. Gundham's skin doesn't burn and that's nice. They're just sitting there staring as they make themselves tingle with pleasure and that's nice. He likes this. He really likes this. He swallows, letting their kiss return with a closed mouth and a gentle massaging of Gundham's scalp.

With each movement, Gundham's poor trousers lose more and more hold - soon he's so stuck behind his zipper that it hurts. While he finds out just how much he adores the kisses closed-mouthed as well, he reaches down between them, lifting his hips just enough to push the waist down a little further, and then fish himself out of his pants. The one part of him aside from his hot cheeks and the inside of his mouth that isn't cool to the touch is set against the front of Kazuichi's boxers, his tip resting and drooling a little onto the other's bared stomach. It feels desperate just as much as it does magical, romantic. Kazuichi's eyes are sparkling with something familiar, but which had never gotten much reaction out of Gundham until now. Words are difficult - just continuing to hum affirmatives to him is easier. The hands in his hair are electric. Rough in texture but in their movements so soft that it feels like Kazuichi is trying to massage him right out of his own skin. And he'd let him. Of course he'd let him. He'd let Kazuichi do anything. He has. But he won't have to.

The hand between them stalls as it hovers over the tent there. He's not sure if he should be touching, but he's not about to stop kissing, so he just waits for there to be another short, natural pause for breath. "Can I?"

Kazuichi blinks, trying to understand Gundham with so few words. He glances down between them, sucking in a breath as he lays his head back down. " Fuck... " He's really asking that. If he just looks down he can completely see him again. How wonderful this all is. He shouldn't allow himself this, he really shouldn't, but it's too easy and he feels too good to say no now. "Yes, anything. " Because as long as Gundham doesn't move away, he'll be satisfied. He bites his lip to pull him back into their kissing. He just wants to wrap himself around this man and let himself be devoured by the moment, stuck between a constant plea for more and a need to not go too far too fast. This should remain as gentle as Kazuichi is capable of.

Gundham isn't able to stop himself from chuckling in time. The curse on Kazuichi's lips should be hot, but...but it's so overwhelming that he laughs a little. He's not the only one, then, who's feeling like he might explode? Gundham touches him through the fabric first, briefly, just a few fingertips, feeling to find exactly how he's positioned before he tugs it down and away. He looks down between them while he strokes a thumb over Kazuichi's cheek, like he's trying to comfort him, maybe. For a second he freezes, hesitates. There he is. This is all for him. This is all because of him...this is-

"What are you thinking about?" Gundham asks, quietly, suddenly.

Everything and nothing at all feels like the real answer. Despite being on the floor, he barely notices the cool air around them. He wants to grab Gundham, pull him in and bite him so bad. He wants to be looked at and touched and needed until the only thing he can do is sleep. "...about how attractive you are right now." Is the answer Kazuichi manages to get out, turning into the hand on his cheek. "It's...it's really good." He kisses the top of his thumb. " Really really good.  I—" he can barely think and he really doesn't want to. He can't come up with an answer for him that doesn't sound hopelessly horny, but he figures he probably doesn't need to. "I-I don't want you to stop yet."

"...About me, as I am, now?" He swipes his thumb over Kazuichi's bottom lip. "Right now?" The other hand curls his fingers carefully underneath his dick. Gundham’s opposite thumb - it's his left, and it's missing a chunk, making it look especially ghastly, although the fact there's less nail does make it softer - presses just under the head of his penis, pressing up and then dragging down against his frenum.

Kazuichi practically whines in confirmation, his eyes fluttering shut as he drags his teeth over his thumb. "Right now..." He says as he chews on him. "So...pretty...and you sound good...you're so hot and I feel great," What else could he say? He’s running out of ways to describe it.

Gundham gives him another stroke, this time a full one, with his whole palm. It's dry. He drags the heel of his hand over the very tip and then down, pulling a little smear of wetness with him. It's weird to be at this angle, it's weird to have Kazuichi in his hand. He presses his thumb down onto the teeth, providing extra pressure. He nuzzles down into his scarf to hide, red. "Pretty?"

"Super pretty..." He hums. He's realising in that moment that he really enjoys chewing on him. Kazuichi had assumed he just thought biting was hot, but this doesn't feel like purely that. He shivers, hips bucking up towards him. Out of everything, this is the most new. Letting Gundham take the lead allows him to let go of his worry about all of this temporarily. It's different and he likes it, his hands aren't rough in the same ways his own are and it makes his nerves jump in excitement. "...pretty face...pretty voice...pretty hands..." His teeth drag. Part of him wants to break skin, but he doesn't dare to yet. "So god damn attractive…"

Gundham hooks Kazuichi's cheek with his thumb and pulls it back to look at his row of sharp teeth before he lets him have his chew toy back, an action which earns him a slightly annoyed look. He just tightens his grip and pumps him slowly, giving a groan of encouragement. Kazuichi looks good like this…fucking himself into his hand. "You haven't said that before." He's heard compliments and ones on his looks occasionally. But not pretty. He blinks rapidly to clear his eyes and tucks his chin against his chest, giving Kazuichi a squeeze and a twist while he thumbs his head.

"Mh...is that bad?" What it is is that he's just never...talked to Gundham in a normal way until now. He's also lacking a lot of shame at the moment. "...even though you're super pretty and handsome…"

"Not bad," Gundham says after a second, slowing his stroking, "it's just new." He does find the look (and the way his voice is a little slurred from having a finger jammed into his mouth) amusing, though, and his eyes soften from the odd hardness that had enveloped them for a moment. His hand stops and opens, leaving Kazuichi hard, lying on his own stomach, and he goes to touch himself for a second. With his own dick he's rougher right off the bat and seems much more confident and controlled in his movements. He opens his fingers, his thumb still around himself, and pulls Kazuichi into his grip, pulling in a sharp breath as their shafts meet. "I'm meant to be intimidating," he reminds him, a little awkwardly, "yet you keep calling me ‘cute’. And ‘pretty’."

Kazuichi whimpers, delighted by the added sensation as he turns his head in order to bite the space between his thumb and forefinger. "You are intimidating..." He mumbles against his skin. "Just also sexy. And annoying and adorable..." The hand in his hair falls to his side, humming as his hips meet his hand again.

"Mmh," Gundham hums, and then chuckles a little. He can't help but feel prideful about it. All these words make him dizzy. He already knows most of them, but it doesn't mean he isn't extremely interested in knowing more, doesn't mean he isn't preening under the praise, slowly coming out of his scarf to accept it. "Trying to flatter me, are you...?" He moves his own hips in a rolling motion, trying to match Kazuichi - they're sort of alternating rutting into Gundham's tightening fist, rubbing against each other and the hand around them. "You're sweet." Gundham says lowly, with a grunt, and carefully leans down to touch their foreheads together. "Much sweeter than I deserve.”

"...'m not that sweet," Kazuichi mumbles through his teeth, slowly letting go of his hand. His breath is shaky, he's fairly certain Gundham could make him orgasm any minute with a single word, but he turns and pecks his lips. "You deserve someone way sweeter…"

The wet thumb retracts from Kazuichi's mouth so Gundham can give him another round of light kisses properly before he pulls back again. He slows on stroking them again - not yet, he's still…he's still taking it in. He doesn't want the moment of clarity to be over yet. Doesn't want to retreat behind the veil. "Mm," he makes a dismissive little sound, as if to scoff at the idea. "I execute my will upon fate. As such, I get exactly as I deserve and no less. More, though...? Sometimes I get lucky." Gundham kisses his way to Kazuichi's ear and tilts his head until Kazuichi finds himself buried in Gundham's exposed neck, having pulled his scarf loose enough to let him in. Having his face still hidden by being out of his line of sight and the fabric still easily accessible, just a tug and it would tighten back up around his neck, Gundham feels mostly secure. "If you don't want anyone to know, I can't mark you. But you could, me. If you wanted." He says into his ear, giving slow, deliberately lazy and inconsistent strokes. "In moderation."

The words make him whimper and Kazuichi immediately takes to kissing his neck, grateful to be put exactly where he wanted to be all along. He's so close, and he just wants to switch off and go for it with the sound of gasps and shivers against his ear. But he does mentally pause. He...doesn't want to pass up the opportunity. Gundham's right. When his brain clears he would want this to just be between them, but- it'd feel good, wouldn't it? "...you can...mark me." It sends a shiver up his spine, licking his neck and grazing his teeth across it. It's only fair. "M-Maybe I'm just...stupid right now...but...you can bite me too if you want."

"You get stupid often." Gundham grumbles, but focuses hard on the feeling. The tingling that spreads from his neck through his body, down his spine. He can feel the heat move through him. He doesn't want to bleed. He's not sure he could handle the blood. But the little burn of sharp teeth lightly scratching his neck has him worried he might cum if he moves too much. He loosens his grip on the both of them. "I won't-...maybe somewhere easy to hide."

"Please, Gundham...?" Kazuichi gently bites down on his skin the same way he was doing before, humming against him before he begins sucking. Perhaps waiting until they are a bit calmer is a good idea because he can fully appreciate just having him in his mouth. That's...not weird, right? He feels like he's enjoying using him as a chew toy a little bit too much.

For Gundham, it feels sort of like he's being peeled starting from the neck - his skin is being pulled, tightened, stung, hot, wet. The vibration of Kazuichi's voice adds to it all, and he makes a gruff little sound in response. It's too hot to keep touching himself at all. He won't be able to hold on if he does. "...Maybe." He says, finally. "Maybe if you ask nicely."

" Please, Gundham. " Kazuichi repeats as the skin falls from between his teeth, still kissing him. "Please bite me, just a little?"  He always knew he had it in him, but he’s a little surprised by how quickly he takes to begging. He's definitely just become stupid by this point… "Right here..." He points to the spot right where his neck and shoulders become one. "You feel so good close, so close... please, one mark right there. "

Gundham hisses and sits up from him all the way despite the noise of protest. He needs a breather. He kneels there over Kazuichi, dick red and dribbling and hanging out of his zipper, scarf loose around his neck, and both hands curled into fists on the tops of his thighs as he tries his best to hold back. The spot Kazuichi had bitten is a lot darker on Gundham's pale skin than he had intended, a mottled red and purple spot against his throat with red lines drawn around it like sunrays coming off an eclipse. His chest is heaving with breath and his eyes are sharp and focused, staring down the place Kazuichi is trying to guide his mouth to. He licks his lips."One. You get one."

Kazuichi squirms, smiling up at him and holding out his arms to ask Gundham to come back down. "Just one. I can live with that. I'll be so good about it, I promise." Damn it, the longer he spends in this high and blissful mind, the less he's able to really filter himself out.

Cute. Cute. Cute. Cute. The arms out are adorable. Gundham pulls in a deep breath and bares his teeth, bites his tongue, sceptical and thoughtful, and then comes back. Hugs him tightly, squeezes, and gives him a couple of humps before he goes in hard. He's a little less gentle than Kazuichi was. He kisses, sucks the area, and buries his teeth into the meat of his deltoid, groaning aloud. 

And Gundham is rewarded with Kazuichi's loudest moan yet, arms coming around him and gripping tightly. It's so much better than he'd assumed, each pleasured noise he makes going straight into Gundham's ear.

"I'm almost there…" Gundham warns, mumbled right against his throat. He reaches a hand down between them, snaking it over Kazuichi's stomach and raking fingers through his trail of hair, when he drags his teeth hard against his shoulder and sucks into his chest with a wet noise. Kazuichi's only response is a shaky moan. He takes it as an ask to keep going, his nails just shy of digging into him as he uses the delightful pain of each bite to help himself along. He wants Gundham to come while on top of him, he wants a painful mark left behind forcing him to remember this for days. Perhaps he's really not himself at that moment but it doesn't matter and it won't matter until their time together ends.

His dick twitches, it's obvious he's close from the way his hips and whimpers grow more desperate. It's one well timed bite that finally pushes him over, breath and limbs shaking as he squeezes Gundham and spills out (mostly) on his own stomach.

Gundham gathers up Kazuichi as he cums and strokes him through it, but it doesn't take very long for him to follow, forcing himself low to press his dick between their stomachs and rut into the growing sticky mess until his back arches and he hisses, hips stilled. He stays like this for a moment, panting, mouth open against Kazuichi's chest but not kissing or biting, just trying to catch his breath. His head is fuzzy. He closes his eyes for just a moment, lying on the other's chest. He's pretty. He's pretty and he's cute, and he's hot even when he's in control, and Kazuichi keeps looking at him with a mix of sadness and reverence, and...

And it's overwhelming.

"...I believe I hit my scarf." Gundham mutters, a little sheepish - he's not sure he's ever come so hard. Not that he was ever an especially active guy to begin with. He looks up into his face - his expression is much softer than it usually is, almost dazed, even though he's managed to restore his breathing to normal. His left hand pulls over Kazuichi's side, up to his chest, then over his neck and cradles his face again. He doesn't plan on leaving - he's not the one with a puddle of cum on his stomach and streaks up his chest all the way to his collarbone. "You look good."

Kazuichi shivers with the gentle touch but easily leans into him, letting his eyes close as they lay together. He could not care less about the mess, if anything he'd happily take a nap night then and there. "Yeah?" He says quietly, a small smile spreading over his face. "Right now or all the time?"

"Is 'most of the time' an option?" Gundham asks, deadpan.

"Awh...you don't think I look good sometimes?" He playfully pouts.

"I think I've seen you crawl from beneath a great metal contraption covered in the lifeblood of your mechanical offspring and the smell and grime were ungodly." He's starting to get his brain back on track. Luckily, though, out of the two of them, Gundham's far less likely to back down because of it.

"A man hard at work should be extra appealing..." Kazuichi mumbles, turning his face so he can kiss his palm. But his expression does soften, a gentle hum leaving him as he takes in a deep, soothing breath. "...can we stay here?”

There's a laugh that's far too warm to come out of the Overlord of Ice. "Can I clean you? It would make staying astride you easier." And himself. He's not super keen on just shoving himself back into his pants the way he is if he can help it.

Kazuichi groans, kissing his palm a few more times. "Only if you don't leave for more than a minute."

"You doubt my agility?" Gundham grabs his cheeks and squeezes them, giving Kazuichi fish-lips for a second before patting him and letting him go, grumbling as he stands up. He gets a towel from Kazuichi's bathroom and wets part of it, not even bothering to wipe himself down yet, as he'd essentially promised he'd be back as soon as he could be and intends to keep it. He kneels down beside him on the floor and drapes the warm wet towel over Kazuichi's belly, leans down, and kisses him on the nose. He feels absolutely evil, devious in his heart-stopping ways!

Kazuichi smiles with the kiss, looking up at him. He'd help with cleaning if his body didn't feel so heavy. It's a trick of his senses, he knows, it'll go away the second he starts moving around enough, but why should he ruin this for himself. At first, he flinches, his skin still sensitive as Gundham wipes him down, but he adapts and it subsides rather quickly. It's sort of nice having someone take care of this bit for him. And as he stares up at him...he feels a bit proud (giddy) seeing the mark left on his neck.

Once he's done Gundham tidies himself up a little, zips up his pants, and leaves his scarf loose over his chest as he lays back down. He's laid on much less comfortable surfaces. This is nothing. Still, amidst the majority of the clutter, he’s absolutely enraptured by this version of his friend(?) who's so pliable and receptive to jokes, who doesn't mind his touch and in fact craves it. He lays on his stomach so their skin touches, but is still able to have his head on the floor beside him, staring at Kazuichi's profile, analytically. "Do you feel yet as if your soul has left your body?"

Kazuichi hums an affirmative, staring right back at him though with far more tired eyes. "Don't want it to come back yet."  He says as he rubs Gundham's arm to keep him close. He feels lighter than he has in months, of course he doesn’t want it to end. He’s getting all the affection he craves on top of that so why would he rush himself. "...don't make me start thinking again. Not ready to do that." He lets his eyes close once more, squeezing his arm.

Gundham pulls his left hand over Kazuichi's chest. Maybe it'll help. The cursed flesh meeting his a little longer. He finds himself replaying the scenario in his head. Weirdly, he’s tallying 'points' too: who started it., how, who fucked up and how, what he liked, what he didn't. There's...not much he didn't like. Not in the moment. In hindsight, though... Okay, he gets why Kazuichi doesn't want to think too hard about it right now, it will certainly ruin the good feeling he has now. He lets out a breath and his body relaxes. He buries his face in the neck beside him. He pets the other like he would some large furred animal, dragging his palm over his chest and pulling it back up to his collar again when he reaches too steep of a curve to follow comfortably with a flat, relaxed hand. Warm. He can think about that. About the comfortable warmth between them. And think about the sleep that clings to Kazuichi's voice suddenly, infectiously. He doesn't say anything in response, just - commits himself silently to this new plan of taking a very uncomfortable shared nap on the floor.

Chapter Text

The thing that eventually woke them up was the incessant chirping of Shiryo's return. The hamster is clearing trying to get someone's attention and it makes Kazuichi groan. He rolls over, rubbing his eyes as Gundham takes it upon himself to deal with his companion. Gundham...and how they...well, it wasn't quite sex, but it was sex adjacent. Kazuichi curled up on himself with the memory. How could he let himself be so easy? How could he let that happen despite everything?

Actually, he knew a couple reasons why.

Kazuichi sits up, staring at their forgotten clothes on the floor as Gundham mutters praise to Shiryo. He hears velcro and the camera is handed back to him. "Thanks..." He nods, stretching himself out. ...He doesn’t know what to feel. He doesn't feel quite as bad as he was expecting (or that would've most certainly come if he had processed this all earlier) but he also doesn’t feel undying joy over it. It’s a weird mix he can’t quite describe with one emotion.

"...don't pout." Gundham grumbles, placing a few small kisses over Shiryo before letting him crawl into his scarf to rest. It's not his room, he shouldn't have to clean it, right? He stretches both arms up over his head and forces a couple of pops out of his shoulders and back with a grunt before he does what little clean-up effort he can be bothered with: gathering up his shirt.

"I'm not pouting." Kazuichi arches his back for a good few seconds to stretch it out too before standing up. He's a little put off by how dreadfully normal he feels. Not that he wants to be in a bad mood, but shouldn't he be feeling more awkward or something? He places the camera on the table and flips the switch off, walking back over to his jumpsuit and pulling it on so the arms hang around his waist. Looking down at him, Kazuichi can see the mark left on Gundham's neck. His stomach turns. He feels ashamed for thinking it looks pretty on him. Part of him wants to have a discussion about it but he doesn't even know what for or where to start. Gundham set up boundaries, he followed them, and they had- a good time. That was good, wasn't it? Kazuichi can't help but doubt himself a bit. "We should...probably go have dinner then," he's far from sure on the time and honestly he slept too well to even begin to guess, but they have to be close to around then by now. "Or at least get some water…"

Gundham slips his arms into the shirt and buttons everything back up after making sure there isn't any grime on his stomach or chest. He did hit his scarf earlier, he realises. There's a little crusty spot. Gross. He scratches at it trying to get it out. "Mm. Unorthodox strategy, dinner second," he mumbles, looking up at him, "I'm using your restroom first." He shuffles himself to his feet, still a little bleary. He wishes he was a little quicker at awakening, he feels fuzzy and looks a little grumpy to boot.

"Ah- yeah. Sure, do whatever." Kazuichi nods as he watches Gundham walk to his bathroom. When the door shuts, he looks over at the spot where they were lying. Despite how his muscles feel after sleeping there, in hindsight staying on the floor was probably for the best. Prevented his sheets from getting dirty...or from smelling like Gundham. Part of why he doesn't know what to do with himself is because...he knows deep down everything he said earlier was true. The problem is that he doesn’t know what to do with himself now. Is he meant to just accept all of that? He couldn't possibly just suddenly be feeling all of those things about the guy now, right? He really should talk to someone about all this but they're going to spend even more time together today aren't they… Why did they have to do that before they got their hands on the footage?

Gundham meanwhile gets to work scraping the little gunk spot off his scarf, rinsing just the one area with a huff. What was it he said? Gundham deserves better? He wonders what Kazuichi meant by that. What could that possibly mean? Look at him. The exaggeration of the scar on his cheek is smudged. He has dried spit on his face. There's a jagged pawprint on his forehead. Deserve what? Deserve more, surely, more of something, but… He pulls the scarf down and startles a little at how dark and bold the hickey on him is. He'd expected a little red spot but it looks like he's been squeezed, or– or maybe hit. It's a grainy bruise. He pokes at it while he washes his face. It doesn't feel like much unless he really presses on it, after which it stings and then aches after his fingers leave it. He pulls his scarf back up, keeps it from being seen in case anyone else is out and about and could see him. He washes his face, relieves himself, and brushes his hair before he finally comes back out, closing the door quietly behind him, and then beelining for the hall. He really shouldn't have. He didn't think it would make him feel so sick. So long as Kazuichi didn't touch him, it should have been fine, right? Kazuichi wasn't rough with him. He begged and whined and Gundham got to dole out whatever he wanted as punishment or reward… He looks back at Kazuichi, holding the door to the hallway open just barely, looking for the spot he'd left on the other. Maybe it'll make him feel better. 

The mark is half covered by Kazuichi's shirt, bruising almost just as much with how rough he'd been. The teeth marks have faded, a given considering their difference in sharpness, and it seems like Kazuichi hasn't really noticed that it's bruised at all as he ducks out of the room and follows him down the hall. He hasn't gotten the chance to look at himself yet. If he had, he probably would've pulled the jumpsuit up all the way to cover it up completely. He did take his contacts out before they left though. He'd ended up sleeping in them so he probably shouldn't leave them in for the rest of the night. He briefly considered trying those glasses Gundham had found but...he'd rather not. He's not quite ready to go back to them yet.

They walk to the dining hall in silence. Kazuichi has no idea what to say so he chooses to say nothing at all. Thankfully, it's not quite nighttime yet. It admittedly would've been difficult to have slept about nine hours in the middle of the day, but it still would've been nice for there to be a window to indicate the time of day. Deep breath in, just sit together and eat as normal.

Gundham takes the lead as he usually does - the place doesn't smell like food, they must be here before anybody's had an opportunity to get cooking. (He's excused from the rotation on account of Hajime knowing he's uneasy around the whole thing, so whos turn it is, he has no idea.) While he's near the kitchen, he scrounges around for bandages. Playing around had reopened a little bit of his hand, it's not messy, more so just annoying to have it rub against things and it's something to do. Shiryo has evened out all of the flattened parts of his fur after meticulously combing out every bit he could reach, and so seems to be feeling much better, scampering around, interested in his reward. Among the supplies are some plain crackers, which he raids in order to feed little pieces to him. He's been doing a lot of exercising, he can have a few extra carbs. Eventually, he meanders back into the dining room. With nobody around, he sits not on one of the chairs, but on the table. It's nice and comforting to be up higher, and while he knows it's incredibly rude, he can't exactly be bothered to care.

He stares. He stares because he can, and because the scowl on his face probably meets all the requirements that Kazuichi has regarding keeping a public-facing image as normal as possible, and because his shirt is wrinkled, and because his eyes are dark. Brown? Maybe black? He won't be able to tell until Kazuichi looks up at him, but it's odd. Almost feels unnatural. He wonders if that's how it's felt seeing Gundham without his whiteout contact, or if that was too cheesy to elicit such a reaction. "What do you think the other archdevils even do for fun around here?" He mutters into the empty room.

Kazuichi blinks at the sudden question, pursing his lips for a moment as he thinks. "Akane and Nekomaru have their sport stuff to keep them occupied. Mahiru and Hiyoko just hang out all the time. Peko is sort of all over the place...sometimes she's with Fuyuhiko, sometimes she goes out and does sporty stuff...hangs out with the girls sometimes too." He shrugs. There being so little to do means it's rather easy to run into people but he's a little impressed with himself that he knows so much about the daily lives of his peers. "Sonia says when she's not with other people, she finds things to read. I've got no clue what Fuyuhiko and Hajime spend their time doing when they're alone though." He'd ask why Gundham's curious, but he wouldn't be surprised if he's just finding it difficult to find ways to fill time. It is just a lot of waiting around these days so it made sense. He sort of laughs to himself for a moment though. "Bet you could find some books on crabs in the library." He teases. That feels better than being awkward about everything.

Gundham's brow lowers, a dark shadow hanging over his eyes, and he tightens his jaw...relax. He's just teasing. He sighs and nibbles on one of the crackers that Shiryo has already taken a piece off of. He's still drowsy, and not in the mood to be needled, especially when it's on something he doesn't care to talk about anyway. He appreciates the information, though, honestly. He's been meaning to ask around. He's been meaning to socialize. He's just - well. He's Gundham Tanaka, what's he supposed to do? Go up to someone and ask what they're up to? Ask if they'd like to 'play'? 'Hang out'? No, absolutely not. It sounds like nobody is doing much that he cares for, anyway. Things he'd have to compromise on his preferences for if he wanted to engage with them, and honestly, he's wiped out - maybe it's just the fatigue of being a slow riser, but the idea sounds like a big hurdle. He rubs his eyes. He will persevere, as he always does, inexplicably. "I've been reading," he mutters, leaning onto his hand toward him, "I wonder if the other islands still have all the amenities they did in the Dream. If there really is a farmhouse on one, I'd hope there was someone to watch over the souls trapped there."

"If there was, the animals are either doing poorly or long gone." Especially given the state of the buildings they'd already been in. He doubts cattle can survive well on their own by the sea. "...I thought you didn't like hanging out with cows, anyway."

"I don't." is all he says, but Gundham seems genuinely quite distressed by this idea - the way he looks away and sets his hands quietly in his lap not unlike being delivered news that an acquaintance has died. He really doesn't need more reason to feel antsy and alone here, but he'd known what he was doing when he asked, so...

Kazuichi just sighs, leaning back in his chair to move the conversation forward. "Based on what walks I've taken, they're fairly similar. The program was clearly based on here. But with weather and neglect, it's all a lot more run down. Like the airport is still there but it's dirty and the planes are all missing." Understandably so but he's still annoyed he can't poke around in one. He does pause though, snapping his fingers. "That's what I should do next: find an arcade cabinet and fix it up."

Gundham snorts at the idea. He can't muster up the smile, but it's there in his face anyway, somewhere. He does actually like video games. He hadn't known that he did until Hope's Peak, but Chiaki had shown him a world he’d never even thought of exploring. Not only were they fun to both play and watch, but he's not sure anybody among them especially dislikes them, either. "That's a battle plan I will lend my blessing to," he says, "but by the time we have access to them we'll have much more to individually be concerned with." Doesn't mean having a gift for the whole group is a bad idea, though. If it were his call, it would definitely be one of the more prioritized activities. Not intending to show himself as quite so evil as to desecrate the eating space to anyone but Kazuichi, he turns over onto his belly and perches his chin on one palm. "I'll lend whatever service I can to make sure there is time for us, together, on that occasion." He means the whole class - er, group - and it should be fairly clear in his word choice, to anybody who's a native speaker.

From where he lies, still munching on crackers and directly in Kazuichi's face, spread across the table, he smells someone steeping tea. He turns to look over his shoulder - in the doorway to the kitchenette, Sonia stands very calmly, observantly, with owlish eyes - but puts on a bright smile and waves politely. Kazuichi follows Gundham's gaze and...a part of him is grateful for her. He doesn't have to spend a second longer thinking about any of this so any thoughts he would've had about the closeness are immediately silenced. He pushes his chair out to put distance between the two of them.

"Hi, Sonia!" He waves back as he stands up. She's someone he knows he can have an easy conversation with so he hopes it'll be a good break. "Are you making tea? What kind?"

"It is not fancy." Sonia looks a bit disappointed to say as she takes a few steps further into the room. "There are not many kinds to choose from here so it is simply oolong. But I am happy to serve you two some if you would like - I did not expect anyone to be here."

Kazuichi beams. "Sure! I'll take some! Can I help you with the cups at all?”

Gundham huffs and turns to sit back up, hopping down off of the table. He's a lot less sluggish when there are a new pair of eyes on him, although with them being Sonia's, he's still in no real hurry to scramble a good image together. "Relegating yourself to subserviency seems sort of presumptuous." He nags, his voice taking on a much more familiar, dramatic boom as he straightens out his shirt and gives a pat to dust off the front of his thighs.

"Three cups and a teapot is a lot to carry for one person." Kazuichi gives Gundham a look but the malice it once had is gone by now.

"I would appreciate the help, thank you, Kazuichi." Sonia smiles politely, watching as he makes his way to the kitchenette. Gundham goes to follow, but she turns toward him and he obediently stops, exactly the way he makes fun of Kazuichi for doing (but, like in a more self-respecting way!). "...You two have been spending a lot of time together recently." Her voice quietens ever so slightly as she takes a step closer to him. "I am happy to see you two getting along so well! Though it has been a while since we last spoke - how are your companions?"

He puts his hands into his pockets, feeling very naked without his coat. He'd assume in anyone else that she hasn't noticed the mark on Kazuichi or the wet spot on his scarf, but she's surely at least seen them. Maybe so long as he gives her no reason to analyze, they'll be alright. "My ability to do harm to the automaton has been neutered by Nidai's contract." He feels no need to elaborate. One of the key rules of lying believably is to not offer too much information. It's also not... exactly a lie. Gundham opens his right hand and snaps his fingers - Shiryo peeks out from under his scarf and scuttles down his arm, climbing into his palm and leaning toward Sonia, stretching as far as he can without falling off the hand. "They have been getting exercise. Shiryo is more acquainted with the layout of the base than I am, I think..." He purses his lips in a half smile. "It has been...tumultuous. Awakening again."

Sonia's smile grows wider, leaning down slightly to observe the hamster. "Good evening, Shiryo." She greets him, though glances up at Gundham with slight concern. "I would be happy to watch over them for a day if they are causing you stress. I know they can get quite lively." Even with the offer, she gasps, standing up fully again. "I do not mean to say you can not handle them, however!" She says as if she'd offended him. "I would just think tumultuous is quite the opposite of what you should need right now.”

Shiryo nearly falls trying to get to her - Gundham has to put his other hand under his little feet and keep him from falling. "...Tumultuous it is, but a leader is naught without his subjects, yes? And contact with them has been a light in the darkness..." He admits, although with all the fanfare he can muster up in his voice - it feels less like an admission and more like telling a story that way. He's a little scared to give them up, but - well. They like Sonia, and he would be cruel to deny both parties such a lovely occasion. "...But I would still graciously accept if they also were appeased by this. How's that sound?" He asks the last part directly to Shiryo, who's still sniffing in Sonia's direction and idly climbing hand over hand. "At least a quarter of my numbers are amiable. I will be in contact with the others to arrange a playdate." Be polite, Tanaka - he purses his lips and clears his throat, puffs out his chest. He did just tell himself he was going to try to speak to people, right? And it's Sonia, out of all of them. "How have you fared? My journey so far has been one tread alone, and likely will be for some time, but...I don't wish the same on you. It would ease my soul to hear you were doing well if it were the case."

Sonia smiles in a way that shows she appreciates him asking, finally holding out her hands for Shiryo. "I am well. There is not a lot for me to do at the moment, but it is wonderful to be with friends again!" She says as she cups her hand over the hamster to shield him from the lights. "I have been doing activities with the girls, but I would also appreciate if we had a chance to spend time together. I have not asked because you seem so eager after every meal that I would not wish to pry you away from your plans."  Which is to say she noticed how they've been hanging out. It makes sense she would given how much the three of them were together in the past, but at least she actually seems happy for them. "It is amazing you have been able to get close to someone!"

"We're not that close." Kazuichi says as he walks past them to set everything except the teapot down on the table. 

Sonia looks at him, tilting her head slightly. "You are not? But the two of you seem rather friendly."

"Th-That doesn't mean anything!" It's embarrassing to hear her point it out especially since he knows what they must look like on the outside. Made worse by the fact that...well she's kind of right. "We just...hang out, it's not a big deal…"

Luckily, the scowl on Gundham isn't out of the ordinary, so when he looks over at Kazuichi with it, it's not too telling of the situation. He isn't wrong, they aren't as close as perhaps they could be, but— He crosses his arms over his chest and stares Kazuichi down, just out of Sonia's sight. He decides now is the best time to rile him up again. He raised a finger to tap his scarf, not where his mark is, but where Kazuichi's would be if he were to mimic the motion. Better get that sorted out, jerk. "He's right. You have seen the cosmic scale of the rift that naturally lies between us. As soon as this contract ends, I will have regained my full power, and we will again be at odds."

Kazuichi glares right back but the second he's aware of what Gundham is trying to indicate, his eyes go wide. He blushes, covering his mark with his hand. Now that he can feel it... fuck there's no way she didn't notice. Sonia probably has no idea what it is but that doesn't make him feel better. "Yeah! We're just d-doing projects together! Cause we're bored!" He pulls the sleeves of his jumpsuit on, zipping it up all the way.

Sonia only laughs. "That is disappointing, you are making admirable progress! It took me quite a lot longer before Gundham was comfortable with physical contact."

Kazuichi's face only grows redder. He hates any implication that he might be special… "Yeah well the tea should be ready so why don't we shut up and drink it!?" He almost yells as he walks back to the kitchenette to grab the teapot.

Gundham's got a scarf to retreat into and nobody bats an eye - he almost feels bad for Kazuichi, to be forced to be so open. He takes his opportunity to hide a little, especially since he's also reddening a little. "I may be a spectre, but I am a present one." He mumbles as he turns to Sonia and gives her an apologetic look, pulling out one of the chairs for her and sitting beside her. He doesn't have an explanation for being in close contact with him, but he's pretty sure he could come up with better than 'shut up'.

"I am sorry, I am just excited to see the two of you getting along." She frowns as she sits down. 

Kazuichi grumbles as he carries the teapot, setting it down in the centre of the table and sitting on the other side. "We're meant to, aren't we? Better we get along and all..." Making out is definitely not on that list of ways to do that.

"I suppose." She hums as she pours each of them a cup. "...you seem so happy during meals though…"

Gundham nods his thanks as he takes a cup from her. "I was under the impression we were most at odds at mealtimes. We are not of the same social status, after all." Ah, fuck, he's meant to be being nicer about that, isn't he? "So it's... a learning curve."

"It is far better than how you used to be." She hums.

"That doesn't mean anything." Kazuichi grumbles as he completely ruins the tea with sugar. 

Sonia sighs, disappointed. "It is as you say... perhaps I should not assume then."

Gundham feels a little guilty knowing that was a situation that Kazuichi had planned with a little more care than...well, the rest of what's happened. He also pushed for it, though. Gundham had been perfectly fine working through his woes on his own! "Very noble of you to start picking fights far above your power level, humble Morning Star." He mutters over his tea, sitting back and crossing his ankles.

"Shut up, stupid..." Kazuichi grumbles as he stirs the tea, trying to get the sugar to dissolve. Part of him wants to point out that he's the one who made things as awkward as they are now but he doesn't. Despite how it would imply them to be on the same level. "You pick fights with me too."

"Obviously I mean your blatant disregard for the feliness' trying to start conversation! For considering yourself her dog you certainly only follow orders when it satisfies you." He's fully aware now that the whole self-degradation thing is definitely sexual, and while he seemed to be fine taking control of it to get him to beg, he's happy to look annoyed about it now.

Kazuichi glares at him. As if Gundham would want to talk about their current relationship with her too. "I don't consider myself her dog!" Not anymore. He thought that much was obvious. "We're just friends. If you want to have the conversation, you go right ahead."

"I would have had a conversation, at least!" This is so difficult to talk around, and talking around things is one of his strong points, usually. Unfortunately, both Sonia and Kazuichi are especially good at decoding him, so Gundham’s left with little choice beside doubling down on the lie. A lie he knows is stupid, because for all her spots in knowledge of the language, Sonia has already shown in this interaction alone that she has an inkling of what's happened. Gundham imagines that comes from two things they can not lie about without acknowledging: the way he'd been sat atop the table like an infatuated school girl on the phone with her boyfriend, and the massive hickey on Kazuichi's fucking neck. And he's frankly a little upset with Kazuichi for both reacting so harshly so suddenly, and for underestimating Sonia to such a degree! Fortunately, she rarely needs him to do anything for her. Unfortunately, this means the only point left to needle is the first one, and the idea of dropping it isn't exactly on his mind.

He tries to get all of this across with a scowl alone. He doesn't expect it to have worked.

"It is exactly as I said, and unlike the cowardice on display across from us, I have no trouble admitting that our being chosen for certain endeavors was no coincidence. Having coexisted in the beforetimes has made us slightly more optimal choices for rehabilitation in tandem." Ah…fuck. 'It's no different from Peko and Fuyuhiko or Mahiru and Hiyoko' aren't exactly the sorts of things he meant to imply.

Kazuichi doesn't really know how to argue with him. Gundham isn't wrong but he also doesn't really know what to say to him without completely denying everything they've been doing. And while he might do that when directly asked...he doesn't really want to if it's staying between them. He's not going to say it wasn't good or ruin their private relationship by— Fuck what is his brain doing? He almost believes that Gundham cast weird magic on him.Kazuichi grumbles, sinking in his chair and sipping his tea. 

Sonia nods. "Ah, so you would not say this time together is by choice then?”

"No," Gundham says, confidently. "The only choice I have made is to accept the chains that bind me for now in the interest of the overall health of the whole." They may get away with this yet. "...With that said, any time you have a book to recommend…"

Her eyes light up with interest and she sort of hums, tracing the rim of her cup. "Well, I know you are not very interested in novels..." She thinks for a moment. "But there are extensive history books and encyclopedias. They should keep you busy for a small while!"

"You think so?" Honestly, as upset as he'd been a moment ago, talking to Sonia proves to be a pretty relaxing experience, as always. "I haven't been outside much at all. Seems every time I step beyond the threshold I'm recruited into senseless exercise routines." Oh, he does have more questions, actually! He perks up a little, especially now that Kazuichi has been silenced, "Who's providing the feast tonight? I'm sure you have a better finger upon the pulse of the devils' routine than I for now…"

"Oh! That would be myself. I thought I would have some afternoon tea before getting started. It has been quite the experience learning recipes." Before anyone woke up, the survivors had worked together to become more familiar with cooking. With Sonia and Fuyuhiko coming from richer families limiting their kitchen experience and Kazuichi and Akane being far more interested in eating than cooking, it had been rather essential. They weren't amazing though neither were the ingredients, but it was at the very least all good enough to be worth eating. "Would the two of you like to help me? It could be fun."

"Yes please." Kazuichi immediately jumped on the opportunity. "I haven't cooked in a while, I'm happy to help out."

"I. Ah...would not be a wise choice for this. If you need someone to keep the dishes under control, however..." Gundham’s more than happy to do that, especially since he's wearing short sleeves.

Sonia frowns. "If that is all you wish to be doing..." She doesn't push him, instead turning towards Kazuichi. "Then the two of us will make something filling and nutritious!"

"Yeah..." He perks up a bit, pulling himself back up in his seat. "We can do that, sounds fun! I haven't had curry in a while, that could be good."

"Oh yes! Wonderful idea!" She smiles wide. "An easy meal to share, we shall do that!"

Gundham gives her what he hopes is a reassuring, confident nod. The cold is starting to seep back into his fingertips, so he works on drinking his tea while it can still warm him. He's a little relieved, honestly. Even amid all of this, Kazuichi suggests something that, even in the worst case scenario, is still mostly rice and vegetables and easy to pick through. And delicious, too - he hadn't realized he was as hungry as he is until the idea of an actual meal was brought up. Sharing seaweed snacks with the birds earlier hadn't left him satisfied for very long. Plus, he seems to be recovering from the dreadful wilt that their argument had left him with. "One that everyone should enjoy, too." He agrees, the relief plain in his face, "Do you know if Hinata will be joining us?”

"I am unsure." She says as she tops up her cup. "If he does not, then I will bring him his serving."

Kazuichi glances at Gundham for a moment. "...do you know what he's doing? It's sort of unusual for him to skip meals."

Sonia pauses, pursing her lips. "Not in detail." Is the answer she gives, carefully. "Though I have been told it is not awfully important so I do not worry. I will just be happy when he is successful."

"Mm. Seems in some ways we do all sit upon the same rung, at least in the concern of 'needing-to-know'." And that is that they, apparently, do not need to know for now. Honestly, though, Gundham’s bitching is for no particularly good reason, and he knows that. He does trust Hajime to do what is in their best interests. He already did, but even more so now, oddly enough. It's just…he doesn't want to think about it, especially. He really had simply wondered. "I'm happy to hear it, really. I trust you to know if him not asking for help is a warranted confidence or not." It brings him some peace, anyway. "I would assume it was, but..." Well. Feels weird not to help in a hands-on way, anyway.

"...Hajime is not a talkative person but he does know how to take charge." She says with a look of concern. "We are all worried about how he must be feeling after regaining memories and..."

"Whatever the hell Izuru is." Kazuichi finishes, sighing. "But he doesn't want to talk so we don't pry." Which is partly why he wasn't awfully curious about what was going on until it presented the opportunity to entertain himself. He respects Hajime's privacy.

"Yes...he is still the friend we had during our time in the program, so there is no reason to doubt him." Sonia nods before pushing herself up. "Alright, Kazuichi! Shall we start cooking?"

Kazuichi grins, standing as well. "Yeah! I'll start cutting up vegetables!”

Gundham's not especially disinterested in gossip, so when it comes up - and between two who were around to witness its conception - he tunes in. Being concerned about Hajime wasn't exactly on his radar, at least not to any higher degree than anyone else, but the two make a great point. "I suppose I never even allowed the shadow of consideration that he was fundamentally different cross my mind." He mutters, and begins to tidy up as the others get moving. "Please don't boil my Steward of Sanguine Torture." He calls after them, regarding the hamster still somewhere on Sonia.

Gundham follows up behind everyone, making sure nobody re-uses utensils for vegetables or rice after meat, cleans up countertops after spice and sauce spills, and does whatever dishes come out the other side while pocketing some of the vegetable scraps as later hamster treats. Having a real job is nice. Especially when it's nothing he's too concerned about. If he were cooking, it might be different, but to stand by and watch feels less bleak than he thought it would. Besides, the main reason he'd been annoyed before was that Kazuichi was being so high-strung around Sonia - so to watch him open up and calm down a little makes Gundham relax a little, too. It’s nice when they’re not actively fighting.

He's trying not to sneeze while he's cleaning up what's left of preparing the ginger when Kazuichi turns to him. "Try it! Tell me how good it is." He grins as he holds up a spoon covered in the curry sauce to Gundham.

"I will push the reality of its being into the light. If there is no goodness hiding, it will gain no such utterance from me." He warns, but he does look it over and does the exact middle ground between his options: reach out and grab the spoon, but in such a way that he's not taking it from Kazuichi, only bracing the hold so it doesn't spill as he puts it in his mouth. Or so he's not assassinated. Either one could be likely if he puts his guard down. "Mm," he makes a short noise, and then, "it's more like the boxed kind than I was expecting it to be."

Kazuichi’s smile grows wider. "That's called following directions. If it doesn't taste a little cheap, it's not any good." He sticks the spoon in his own mouth instead of putting it down, shuffling over to help Sonia finish off the last of the meat. Gundham takes a second after the taste-test to stare at the countertop and listen to his heartbeat, analysing the taste in his mouth. It's sort of sweet, but it's not bad. This indirect kiss has given him a much nicer lingering flavor than the direct ones so far, anyway, that's for sure.

They sit together to eat, almost like old times but not quite. Sonia has a very reasonable portion compared to Kazuichi who took the meat that would've normally been portioned out to Gundham and now has himself a small pile. Dinner is a little sparser than it usually is though. Or, rather, it's much sparser. They appear to be the only ones who stay and sit for the meal, though Gundham does spy Fuyuhiko and Nekomaru at separate times gathering portions, hopefully both for themselves and for the others, or else Gundham would feel a little bad for their own snail's pace at delivering food around the place. But he likes sitting down to dinner with...his friends. Yeah, he has no doubt. Sometimes he feels on edge, as if he's anticipating some enemy to make itself suddenly known, but for a little while, with the only eyes on him being those of Shiryo, Sonia, and Kazuichi, he doesn't exactly feel a need to be ready at any moment to defend himself. Only at most moments.

He eats quickly. Not because he wants it over with, but because he's already deemed it safe, and because it's not that bad, really. It feels normal, for the first time in a very long time. He lets Sonia and Kazuichi talk amongst themselves for the most part, just happy to be nearby, although this kindness goes unclaimed for the most part, since Kazuichi at the very least is too preoccupied with packing away his extra-large portion in as little time as possible to be much of a conversationalist. Gundham lets him get away with it this time.

"Ah, Gundham, the rest of your companions should be waking up soon, yes?" Sonia asks at some point when all of their plates are starting to empty. "Would it be alright if I helped you with that? Only for an hour or so."

Gundham looks at Sonia and nods, solemnly, keeping his chin tucked dramatically to his chest. "They should - that is, if they have not already entered our realm and enacted their will on me." He chuckles, smugly - yeah, the hamsters probably are already awake, and this fact has already driven him to stuff his otherwise very average pant pockets with snacks. "You're free to stay as long as you wish, as long as you're able to get back into your room by the time the clock strikes ten." He scrapes up what's left in the corner of his bowl, going so far as to tilt it a little to fill his spoon with it. Technically, he and Kazuichi can leave any time they like, even after hours, so time is of no constraint, even if he would really like to see what was captured by Shiryo's incognito camera sooner rather than later. But...it's Sonia. Who can say 'no' to her? He sends a short sideways glance at Kazuichi as if extending the offer yet another man further. Kazuichi looks at him and subtly shakes his head, waving them on to be free to just hang out, and Gundham hadn't even realized he was strung up on it until the relief over the gesture kicks in.

Sonia seems delighted, clasping her hands together with a smile. "Wonderful! You have not had a chance to tell me everything about these ones, I am looking forward to their formal introductions."

They finish up eating and Gundham gets to tidying, finishing the job he started from earlier. Thankfully, Sonia has to bring Hajime his supper, so he gets a little bit of time to scrub at his coat and dry it off before she comes back around. It's not fully dry, but once it's on, he's only a little damp. It should be fine, it's just the back, anyway. Besides, he's more than distracted enough in describing in detail to Sonia each of his spirit soldiers, their lineage and personalities (up to and including how each one of them has reacted to Kazuichi, which he knows is leading, but the problem is that when Kazuichi isn't around, it's hard not to talk about him a little bit) for well over an hour to really think about any of that. The hamsters seem to be excited to show off, too, all except Reikon anyway. And Sonia is absolutely delighted by all of it, praising him and his soldiers while asking all sorts of questions. She's always been rather enthralled by his interest in animals though it's hard to say if it's because she genuinely wants to know about them or if she's just interested in the way he talks. Perhaps a bit of both.

She does eventually sigh, gently petting the hamster in her hands. "I suppose I should leave you to go to bed." It was getting to around that time. "I would like it if we could spend more time together during the day if that is alright with you."

Gundham places his open hands under hers and coaxes Mononoke back with a couple of little affectionate clicks. "Unfortunately my nocturnal nature has been disrupted...so this may yet be an option for us both." He says softly with a sigh of his own, looking up at her while he holds the hamster in his hands. Mononoke scoots into his sleeve slowly, peeking back out at Sonia every once in a while. "...I would like that. I've been..." He pulls in a breath and purses his lips, "Khm." All he can do is clear his throat. His brain's been scrambled ever since this afternoon, like his inside have been boiled almost like a fever. "Been reigned into the shadows for my time here so far." He finds the words to continue. "I would like to break free of those chains, so." He gives her a little smile and then bows his head. "Thank you. Would you like me to walk you?"

Sonia laughs, amused by his hesitation "I see." She stands up, smoothing out her clothes. "If you would like to come for one final walk, I would not mind." So he stands up as well and they make their way out, walking side by side down the hall. "I do honestly hope you are faring well." She says as she looks up at him. "It is a little...jarring being here suddenly, I am sure. But I feel as though despite it, what I have seen of you has been good. You are smiling often."

As they enter the girls' hall, Gundham hums, not meeting her eyes. "Shade still lingers over my heart," he shrugs, as though dismissive of it, "almost all the news I've received so far has been hard to hear." Except for finding out that some had survived, and among them, the people he and Nekoaru both fought the very hardest to protect. At her door he stands, quietly - ironically, with a frown pasted onto his face. "...Am I really?" He sort of is, isn't he? At dinner over conversations and jokes, laughing to himself over his excitement during the day, playing like a child at night...

Sonia smiles, stopping outside her door and turning towards him. "You do not need to tell me anything, but it is good to see you enjoying yourself with others." She gives him a polite bow. "I will not be disheartened if you spend time with others." It's obvious what she's implying. She doesn't need to know what's actually going on between him and Kazuichi if it's making him happy. All that matters is everything is going well. "Have a good night, Gundham. Hopefully I will see you at breakfast."

He nods, slowly, and takes a step back so she can enter her room without him being able to see inside. "Inevitably." He assures her, and gives her one last smile as the door closes. See? Kazuichi panics too much. He stands there for a second before he hears from the other end of the hallway the other girls approaching - Hiyoko and Mahiru in the front, side by side, Hiyoko swinging their hands, and Peko and Akane behind.

"Gundham!"

He understands that it's normal now, but there are still a couple of people he'd prefer not use his first name, especially to yell down the hallway at him with. It's better than some of the other things that have come out of her mouth, though - Gundham looks down, slightly, at Hiyoko, and nods his acknowledgement like it will grant him her clemency. She just sticks her tongue out at him and gives him a thumbs-down, which given the circumstance, is not the worst possible outcome. In fact, as she walks by, she doesn't even joke about him having walked Sonia to her room, just ignores him, for the most part.

Mahiru smiles politely. "Goodnight, Gundham. Get to bed, okay? Once Akane and Peko are in their rooms, all the girls'll get freaked out with you stalking around in the dark."

"He's gotta get back too, or he'll be locked out, sleeping in the kitchen!" Hiyoko giggles.

Gundham just crosses his arms over. "Where receives the frost just before first light as the nightcreature's mist hangs low should concern all."

"Thank you for dinner." Peko says, the last in the hall, and Gundham makes an odd face but nods anyway before he hurries off, back to the boys' hallway.

Hm. Strange but not…terrible he supposes. Being talked to and acknowledged like that. But, everyone has already packed in for the night, it seems, so he decides to head straight to Kazuichi’s room. They do have plans to get through this evening.

Chapter Text

Gundham knocks on the door very lightly against it as warning that he's arriving before simply slipping in without waiting for an answer. Kazuichi jumps when he does, slipping a pair of glasses off his face and setting them down on the set of drawers beside his bed. "Ah- hi." His hands sit awkwardly in his lap. "I didn't think you'd be coming here."

Gundham (very politely, by the way) turns his head away and ignores what he'd seen, instead paying quite a lot of attention to making sure that his coat and scarf are straight, and the door is closed properly. "...I was drawn here by the fates." He mutters, getting a nod in response.

"How was hanging out with Sonia?" Kazuichi asks as if to change the subject, standing up to go grab the camera from his desk and strategically tearing off pieces until he can get to the SD card.

There’s a few seconds of silence before Gundham finally turns back to him, looking Kazuichi over. Casually. "It went well." He says, honestly, standing perfectly still and watching him carefully. He'd like to be closer, but for now this will have to do - crowding is probably the fastest way to getting bit. "I hadn't spoken to her at length since I woke up. And before that..." well, a long time there, too. "...Either way. It made me feel better. Less-...lonely."

Kazuichi sort of smirks to himself as he slides the card into one of his pockets. "So what I was telling you to do in the first place worked?" He's a little proud of himself knowing that. "Yeah, that's good. Maybe you should—" spend more time with her... He pauses. He doesn't really want to be the one to suggest that. It's stupid of him, it's not like he's jealous of Gundham anymore (at least in that way) so he has no reason to really want to stop them. But he just shakes his head, walks back over to his bed. "Anyway. What do you want to do while we want for curfew to start?"

Gundham spares him any cutting remark and instead just shakes his head, a very soft and inoffensive denial. He takes the silence that follows as a prompt for him to fill in the blank himself and narrows his eyes as he stays quiet, refusing the perceived mockery. Kazuichi sits. Gundham begins to shrug off his coat, slowly, corralling all rodents into places closer to his body as he does so. He gives it a whip and tosses it over one arm, feeling over the back of it, searching for any residual wet spots, and then continuing to run his palm over it again and again to use up some of the excess energy that's humming through him. "Nothing especially." He says, curtly, his attitude toward the whole ordeal shifting slightly with nerves clear on his face. "I just want to get it over with."

"Right-. Yeah of course." Seeing him less enthusiastic puts Kazuichi a bit on edge. Probably because he doesn't know why the other is feeling the way he is and it could realistically be any number of things. There's an uncomfortable silence between them. Kazuichi glances around his room for a moment. "...do you want to just go out now and not bother waiting?"

Gundham makes a much louder hiss of discomfort than he intends to. Communicating with people is hard. He stands for a second, quietly, and then, "May I sit?"

"...yeah, go ahead." Kazuichi scoots closer to the head of the bed to give him a bit of room.

Gundham looks at the door as if to confirm it's closed, then back at Kazuichi, and sits directly beside him. "On my way, I was witness to a great herd all moving as one," he says, gruffly, "it was as comforting to be greeted by the mass as it was concerning." He saw all the girls together, walking one another to their rooms. Not unusual, and it was nice to say hello, but… "Of what omen is that, do you think?"

Kazuichi shrugs. "I think it means they were together before bed and think well enough of you to say goodnight." He can't imagine it really being anything else. "You sure you're not overthinking it?"

Gundham huffs and sets his chin in his palms and his elbows on his knees. "Coming from you that is potentially the most vile prescription I can imagine," he rubs his face. He keeps thinking about Hiyoko and Mahiru. It looks a lot less sisterly when Hiyoko is almost taller than the other now, and to see her in such spirits that she would even wave to him makes him feel odd. "I'm not sure I'm made out for having friends."

"I mean, you don't need to consider everyone who's nice to you a friend." Maybe it's just him, but it would be a little ridiculous if he did. "Like, I don't have a bad opinion on someone like Mahiru but I'm also not her friend. Is that what's got you feeling weird? People being nice to you?"

Gundham grumbles, opening his arms and sliding his forehead down them until he's just about folded in half. "Yes."

Kazuichi laughs, leaning over against him. "The overlord can't stand the kindness of mortals...sounds like the plot for some comedy manga." He teases.

His arms curl over the back of his head and he grunts again, leaning into him suddenly - he's a little too balled up for an effective headbutt, but he still tries. Kazuichi's right, though, and he huffs a short laugh. "So in that situation it would be expected for him to commit atrocities against them in the name of maintaining order. That's...good."

"Only if the atrocities serve as some set up for a punchline. That's how comedies work." Kazuichi pats his back a few times as if that of all things would be comforting. "Just don't think too much about it. You don't gotta think about anyone as a friend if that's not what you feel."

"I think in that chapter the punchlines' onus would be on the mortals to somehow foil his attempts at harm," Gundham says, still muffled in his own coat and lap, "because I'm not about to make foolish plans to fit the genre." He likes drama more, anyway.

"No, of course not." Kazuichi can easily imagine Gundham as some overly powerful character that comes up with plan after plan yet somehow never gets the result he wants. And by the end of the series he would've completely come around and accepted that the other characters are just good people. He looks the part at the very least. The thought amuses him. "Your plans would be completely foolproof, I'm sure."

"They always have been until now," he raises his head, blinking in the light and pushing his hair back from his forehead. That does make him feel better. "...Do you think they're still publishing manga outside of here?"

Kazuichi purses his lips. He's very aware the answer is no but he feels like saying that would put a damper on things. "I'm sure someone is still drawing it somewhere outside. Bet you could write an interesting one."

"Ha. Well, I didn't go after all of them." Gundham acts as if he’d had said 'no' anyway, although with some levity. "Maybe it was a subpopulation left untouched." Finally, he sits himself up all the way, straightens out his shirt, and takes a deep breath. "My manga would be lost on mortal kind. It would be a holy text coded in the language of the seraph, and it would blind the unworthy to read, so."

"Don't like sharing your art?" Kazuichi adjusts himself so they can sit together more comfortably. "But I'd totally read it if you wrote something."

...What is it about nightfall that softens Kazuichi's features? The light in the room is no less harsh, but his owl-eyed look of curiosity is easy to gaze at. Gundham pulls a knee up onto the bed to turn toward him, too, and puts his hands in his lap, palms-up, curling his fingers in encouragement. Asking for him. "It's a sliver of divinity passed from the angel," he says, looking less sad and more suddenly a little weary, but he quickly recovers. "I would wait until I was sure it could be a force for good."

Kazuichi glances down and awkwardly shuffles closer, taking Gundham's hands in his own. "If you say so. Bet you could write something cool..." When they're alone and things are quiet, it's all so nice. Kazuichi can't even find it in himself to be insecure about Gundham knowing what his eyes and hair are meant to look like. Perhaps if circumstances were different, he'd find all of this so much easier.

The door beeps a warning and then makes an aborted click.

" 'Cool' is not how I imagined you would describe it." Gundham confides with a teasing edge.

Kazuichi squeezes his hands, rubbing his knuckles. "Well, I like things with fights and plot. I think if you wrote something that took advantage of your view on the world, it could be interesting."

He hates the twisting feeling in his gut when Kazuichi touches him softly, but he can't stop doing things that cause it. It stabs him in the stomach. He squeezes back in time with how it clenches and turns. He'll...think about it. It isn't really overall what he imagined as part of his vision for himself, but ninety percent of his personality is derived from teen manga he got way too into as a kid, so maybe it would be a funny way to complete the circle. He couldn't do anything gory, though. He's not sure how to do dramatic fights without looking like he's censoring...or making it bloody. Gundham makes a face while he thinks, and then shakes it off. "Hm. Alright. No spoilers, then."

As much as he has a hard time ignoring the background nerves around the morality of his spying, he's also more convinced than ever that this all is something designed specifically to slight him in particular, and that feeling is begging him to drop Kazuichi's hands and needle him until he shows the contents of his technological tome. But instead he pulls their hands up to his face and puts the backs of the other's hands to his cheeks. Warm. His back is a little damp, and it's been sapping what little warmth he does have out of him. Kazuichi blushes, staring at Gundham. He doesn't shiver with how cold he is anymore. In fact, he likes the difference between them. It means he'll never feel too hot when he's near him. And he looks so pretty right now...

Has his brain been fried by being given such simple affection? One kiss and he's suddenly okay being this close? It's because he understands this feeling, at least somewhat. He understands the desire to kiss someone and to be touched and he'll happily take what he's given. But does that mean he likes Gundham himself?

"...your skin feels nice."

Gundham looks up at him with grey eyes through his lashes. Now that he knows what compliments do to him, he's a little less eager to accept them when he has things to be doing that he can't just drop - but it doesn't stop it from sinking in anyway. "And you're the closest approximation of a heating pad I believe this place can provide." He says, simply, indulging in the warmth a little longer before he lowers their hands back into his lap. "Do you have a battle plan for our video reconnaissance?" Oddly, he doesn't mind leaving much larger chunks of this to Kazuichi. Not when it's probably going to involve troubleshooting technology, anyway.

Kazuichi clears his throat as if to reset his brain and follow the new conversation topic. "I figured we'd see if any of the computers have SD card readers since those would be easier to get working...otherwise I'll just fix up one of the phones." He hums, staring at Gundham's hands for a while. He sort of misses all his rings...but he does like being able to feel his scars. It keeps him interested in the touch. He sighs, finally letting himself be close as he leans in and lays his forehead on Gundham's shoulder. "It shouldn't take long unless the computers are all completely fucked. I say we check one of the more sheltered buildings before going for the communication tower."

Gundam places his cheek on Kazuichi's head after a second of hesitation, nodding just a little, since in direct contact it probably would shake him around if he went too hard. He'd like to pet him, but his hands are being used. What a terrible conundrum. Mononoke sticks her face out of his scarf and starts to sniff Kazuichi's hair with a series of little clicks. "Right. If I could avoid exposing my soldiers to the mold, that would be best, too."

"Yeah...so hopefully we can find a modern computer that will work if we just power it." Kazuichi’s back hurts leaning so far over but he doesn't want to move closer just yet. If he does, he might not want to get up again tonight. "That shouldn't take all night...so do you want to do anything while we're outside?"

Gundham unravels a hand to reach up and run his palm over his back, up the back of his neck, and into his hair. It's partly to coax Kazuichi back into sitting up off of him, and partly because he can't get the idea out of his head. "You were identifying the denizens of the heavens the other night. Or you said you were. I'd like to become acquainted, too, if we've the strength by then."

Kazuichi hums, the hand having the complete opposite effect. He relaxes into him more, taking in a deep breath. "Oh yeah? You want to look at the stars with me?" He turns his head slightly to look at him. "I'm surprised you don't know any constellations. I think space is cool."

...Okay, for a minute. He combs his fingers from Kazuichi's temple back, and then runs them through again, scratching lightly as he goes. He has to pull his chin down to his chest and lean a little to look the other directly in the face. "You seem like the sort who would."

His head slowly leans back into Gundham’s hand. It feels so much better than he ever assumed something like this might. Though maybe that's just because Gundham knows what he's doing. "I thought you'd be into all the folktales surrounding the stars." Kazuichi does smile though. Space is one of the rarer topics of interest he gets to discuss so he's more than happy to go stargazing. "As long as it's not super cloudy and the moon isn't full..."

"I don't deny the spiritual influence of heavenly bodies! You were not inoculated into the folds of my skilled Zodiac Generals." The hair in his hands is a little tangled, but Gundham is a pro at working around snags without tugging at them painfully. He likes that smile, too. There's something behind it that he can't identify, but it's a key ingredient in one that makes him fuzzy to see instead of annoyed. Not that being annoyed is uniquely bad, but it does tend to get him into trouble. Gundham thinks back, though, and scrunches his nose - the phase of the moon had felt so important, and then he'd simply let it go overhead without observation, didn't he? He can't remember what it's supposed to be tonight. If it's bright out, though, they have a wider variety of activities available, so that won't be so bad. Clouds, though, well. "We can always just dig in the sand." he says with an amused sort of lilt to his voice.

"No! You said you want to go stargazing so we're stargazing." Kazuichi practically whines, squeezing his hand. "We just need to make sure we do it again next month if there's a full moon..." He's not really a superstitious person and, frankly, he's interested in space more so for the science of it than the spirituality, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like the traditions and stories around it all. If anything, indulging in culture even now will make everything feel more normal. "So, you gotta stop playing with my hair or we won't get anything done." He says that but he doesn't really want Gundham to stop. He feels more comfortable like this, when there's no one to see or hear them. It's...what is the feeling? He can't quite say but it's not a bad one.

Gundham just stares at him for a moment, and then, "Could I kiss you? Just once. Brief. And we'll embark."

Kazuichi considers. The question turns his insides in a way that feels nice somehow. "Yeah...don't really need to ask." And it doesn't have to be brief. But it is - it's only to try out the new positioning, this held-close-to-Gundham's-chest pose, to test the hand that's now on the back of Kazuichi's head. He leans in and nudges Kazuichi's chin up just enough to kiss him once and pulls back, beginning to unravel himself from the other's hair and straighten out his posture.

"I think I'll continue asking for the foreseeable future." He doesn't want to start an argument. Not here, anyway. This isn't the space for it.

"...okay." he'd much rather Gundham be as comfortable as possible so he respects it. He just can't imagine when he'd ever say no. He feels like he should be able to but… Kazuichi pulls himself back, letting go of his hand as he stands up. They should get on with this, he can't sit here trying to decipher his own feelings all night. He pulls on his shoes, swallowing as he tries to move his brain away from their moment. "Ah- anyway, I was thinking we should try looking in the more resort-y buildings. There might be a laptop somewhere or at least something more modern."

Gundham tugs at the back of his shirt a couple of times while he watches Kazuichi get ready, standing near the door - he needs his boots, too, but it should be just a tiny pitstop on their way. "Ah, yes...the ones that have likely been more thoroughly kept under lock and key..." That does sound kind of exciting. "Or at least are out of storm surge zones."

"Exactly. Those are more likely to be working or at least easy fixes compared to anything else. And they're more likely to actually have card readers." The two of them walk out, Kazuichi following closely so he doesn't lose Gundham in the dark. "If they've been similarly kept safe to all those phones, there should be working parts among them so I could cobble them together if I need to. As long as they can be powered, it should be fine."

After a short stop at Gundham’s room (where he doesn't even let it close, just grabs his boots and laces them up by the light of the ajar door), he makes sure to keep Kazuichi close as they trace their way back through the lobby and up to the surface, out onto the poor overgrown and partially-massacred lawn. "I'm unsure if any of the employees around here cared as much about the longevity of their work machines as you do. If we find the workspace of someone with a more serious position than taking phone calls, we'd have more luck, I imagine?" He's talking just to talk. He'll go anywhere Kazuichi does for now. Acting as a serviteur may stay within his cards. For now.

Kazuichi frowns. He knows Gundham is right but he doesn't like the reality. "Well, maybe there's one in a drawer or in storage. I'm not even sure where someone with a serious position would even work around here." He doesn't shy away from walking close, fiddling with the SD card the whole way. Part of him wonders if they'll even still do this after they no longer have a reason to...but he's fairly sure he could invent a reason or two.

"They had to have someone on-site," Gundham reassures, "maybe with their own office space? Isn't a boss special enough for that sort of thing?" He's completely speculating, he's only ever been into an office building for school trips, or after it had already been gutted (and covered in guts).

He stands back and watches Kazuichi rummage around the only other building they’ve visited thus far. There's a computer on the desk, presumably for bookkeeping or perhaps it was being used as a cash register, but it doesn't look like the type that can read SD cards so he’s already nearly behind to go through the shelves beneath. "There might be stuff in staff lockers, but I don't think we can really break into them..." Kazuichi says, thinking out loud. "You got any ideas?"

Gundham makes a noise of interest at Kazuichi's suggestion - or, rather, the opposite of a suggestion, although he still appears to take it as such. "Could we not break in? If we're being recorded, there's obviously nobody watching. If they are, and the sin of theft is not quite enough to push them over the edge of reprimanding us, I imagine a little more wouldn't be especially harmful. We may not have to break in to them indiscriminately if there's enough clearance for a soldier to slip in and survey the goods."

"...maybe." Kazuichi makes an unconvinced face. "Lockers don't usually have that much space between the door and the frame compared to regular doors. They could certainly try if we do find locked ones." His main concern was getting them open in the first place. It's not impossible, but he just didn't think they really had the tools for breaking into something like that. "Come on," he says as he closes the drawer. "We'll go find a staff room and see what we can find in there. Worse comes to worst, we'll just have to go to another island."

Gundham rolls his eyes. "The vents on them. They won't go all the way in if there's nothing for them to hold on to to get to the bottom, anyway. One of them has acted as a spy camera drone, you're still doubting their abilities?" He's a little offended on the hamsters' behalf, honestly. "Not only do you doubt them, but me. Who was it to find his way into the forbidden zone, hidden so completely from all mortal eyes? Hm?" (Well, except for Nagito's, but he hardly counts.)

"I'm not doubting you, I'm doubting the lockers because I don't know what type they are or if they even exist." Kazuichi only assumes they exist since it would make sense but he honestly has no idea. Besides, it's not like the forbidden zone was difficult to get into, Gundham just had the determination to do it in the first place. ...that brings up certain questions he's not sure he wants answers to.

Kazuichi drags Gundham around the building until he finds a door marked as 'staff only'. Honestly, he finds himself a bit put off by the fact it's completely unlocked. It doesn't feel right for it to open so easily, though maybe that's just him. The room itself is nicer than he assumed it might be. Though, that makes sense, this used to be a fancy resort so he can only imagine the wages the employees were being paid. "There might be some personal laptops in here, can't imagine many people really needed them for work..."

There's a couch against one wall. A potted plant that has died and shed its limbs all over the floor. There's a desk with various clutter, a printer, and an undoubtedly unpleasant fridge in a corner. It's stuffy inside, dusty.

"Odd to see a place abandoned and not ravaged by mice," Gundham says, quietly, "and apparently the bats haven't quite caved the ceiling in yet."

"It's entirely possible there aren't mice here." Kazuichi says as he begins opening cupboards. "They're not native to many places and this is a remote island. Maybe they were just never brought here so there aren't any around." That makes the most sense anyway. All the developments on the island are pretty modern and there isn’t really anything historical so it's safe to assume the place was uninhabited for a majority of the time it’s existed.

Gundham would be mad for Kazuichi assuming he didn't know this, but he's too blown away that he knows about endemic mammal species on Pacific islands that he just stares for a second. "Most of the life here is what can swim or fly. And most of the swimming denizens stuck to it, so they're still...in the ocean." He finally follows up as Kazuichi pulls out a laptop from one of the cupboards. It looks like a spare that had been sitting there for a while even before the place was abandoned. "If there really are no mammals beyond the aquatic life and the bats, the bird and turtle populations are probably very healthy, especially after the humans have gone..." He’s mostly talking to himself now because he’s not even getting a glance towards him, watching as the laptop is inspected and set aside as Kazuichi kneels again to keep searching.

Gundham presses a hand into one of the couch cushions and sits down when he deems it safe enough to do so. Beyond smelling a little stale, it's not so bad. There's no water damage meaning there likely hasn't been a storm large enough to flood anything since it's been abandoned, and all the plumbing must be in relative order. No wonder the place was chosen for their temporary home. Sitting uncharacteristically politely, he switches his gaze from the ceiling to Kazuichi. "Seeing you set out so boldly on your own for a project makes your competency show."

Kazuichi narrows his eyes at him. "That makes it sound like I seem incompetent the rest of the time." He does admittedly get very stuck in when he's doing projects, but surely there isn't that much of a difference.

Still appearing innocent, Gundham raises where his brows would be. "Hm? Does it?"

"Yeah! You're implying I don't seem competent when I'm not working." Kazuichi grumbles, picking up the laptop and dumping it on the coffee table before pulling out tools from his pocket. "I'm smart...I'm not only smart when it comes to machines."

How's this being turned into an argument? He said Kazuichi was showing competency, and he went out of his way to not say that it was not the only time he shows it, just that he's seeing it now! "What do you know of subtle implication?" He grumbles - he's well aware that Kazuichi has talents in other places, that's not what this is about, and he's not letting it go there, either.

Kazuichi bites his tongue. It's sort of hard for his knee jerk reaction to not be on the offensive. He likes Gundham a lot more, but something about the way he talks makes it hard to just accept a compliment. So he just huffs, motioning for him to come closer. "Just come here, I'll show you what the inside of a laptop looks like."

"Apparently nothing." Gundham can't help but quip as he switches from couch to floor, kneeling beside the low table. Honestly, though, he doesn't mind the idea of seeing what goes on in one of those things. He's seen the inside of a television once when he was a kid, and obviously he's seen under the hoods of cars or looked at breaker boxes. Seen photos of motherboards, or...whatever? But he's not sure what the rest of the space in there has in it. A fan somewhere, presumably, as they usually have those? "Why dissect the beast? Are you going to revive it somehow?"

"I'm checking to see if there's any damage before I try charging it." He says as he unscrews the back. "It's been sitting in a cupboard so there might be a reason for that." So far it all looks fine, doesn't seem like it was damp enough for rust to form. Kazuichi pulls off parts in such a way that to an outsider it might seem a little forceful, pointing to pieces with his screwdriver. "That bit's the battery. If this is all good and a charger doesn't do anything, it'll mean that's busted. And that there's a hard drive."

The light above them buzzes and flickers while Gundham squints down at the neat little box, containing all of the parts. Thankfully, everything Kazuichi names are things he's heard of. It's a bit like matching a name to a face, which is satisfying in a way he didn't think it would be. Some of the parts are rather plain, and others are so intricate that it's odd to see them all jammed into the same place. "I expected more wires." For some reason, he'd been under the assumption that wires were sort of like blood vessels, very common and widespread, but he hardly sees anything resembling them.

Kazuichi stops himself from laughing. "Nah, wires would be too big for something this compact. They're used for things that can't be connected together directly." He picks up one piece, showing off what looks more like a thin strip of plastic rather than wire. "This is what's used in smaller things more. There's sometimes wires, but one if you got extra space you can fill up. Otherwise you go with a flat cable." Kazuichi leans in closer, squinting as he gets a look at the motherboard. This is much harder without his contacts in, maybe he should've put them on again before leaving. "...doesn't look like anything is broken. There shouldn't be anything wrong with it so hopefully it'll charge just fine."

Gundham leans in, too, trying not to crowd him too much, but also obviously fairly curious. He stays quiet, trying to take in the vocabulary thrown at him. He wasn't being outrageous with his comparisons when he said dissection - or perhaps vivisection, he's not sure yet - because what Kazuichi is doing and appraising seems an awful lot like it, except a bit more...mathematical. "Surely there are many different configurations based on brand and manufacturer, how do you know that it all looks sound at a glance?" He knows technically that Kazuichi probably knows the underlying connections much better than he does the standard configurations, but it seems so absurd to him to know what any of the little metal glints mean on a cellular level, enough to interpret them. What, like a script? Like flesh? Well. Like something else entirely, obviously, but… While he still has his chance, Gundham takes in all he can. If he had a notebook he'd be taking it down literally, but for now the space he's physically creating in his mind palace for this junk will have to do. Kazuichi's odd bits and bobs corner.

"Yeah, different companies will build them in different ways but...think of them sorta like the computer's internal organs." That seems like the easiest way for Gundham to understand. "They might look a little different sometimes, but they all do the same thing so they have things in common." It is a little weird, Kazuichi’s never really had to explain computer parts before, but he did always like the chance to. "Like, take the motherboard for example. It might be shaped differently in different machines but it's always going to be green and it'll always have these little prongs on it." He sort of gestures towards them, a little more careful around it than the rest of the parts. "Since nothing on it is broken, it should still be usable unless something like the battery is dead."

Gundham nods. So yes, like flesh. "Okay." He'd had to take a class on electronics in highschool once, but the only thing he really remembers is basic logic gates, not much to do at all with the actual hardware. Oh, and that soldering stinks. That's about it. Still a little weird to think that everything on a computer is somehow made up of all of this stuff, but he can imagine how one would look at meat and think the same thing of animals. "Much cleaner an autopsy than one with real internal organs." He teases, but eventually sits back, resting on the heels of his boots.

"I probably wouldn't like it as much if it was messy." Kazuichi shrugs as he begins to piece it all back together. "Can't say I haven't thought about the similarities before..." Machines make sense when you tear them apart and look at their insides, so he can see his own logic in thinking about tearing a person apart to understand them. But now that he...has done just that, the idea appeals to him far less. He stands up, grabbing the charger that was stored with the laptop and untangling it before finding an outlet. "There are about three reasons this won't work. Something in the cable is broken, there isn't enough power in the building, or something in the computer itself is busted. The beauty of machinery is the amount of troubleshooting you have to do to get it all working."

People love to say Gundham talks nonsense, but there are a few standout comments and rants that he can remember coming out of Kazuichi that were pretty confusing at the time, but just as he'd suspected, it's some sort of...mechanical interest, apparently. Which in itself is intriguing. He can't say he hadn't been interested in whatever it was that riled him up so much, even if the context was less than ideal. This feels much nicer. This feels like it should. Like just being people. He's glad he doesn't say it out loud, because he can only imagine the looks and snide comments he'd get for admitting to feeling like that. ...Like a person. If there's sarcasm in Kazuichi's tone, Gundham doesn't detect it, and responds earnestly, "When it's something you crave knowledge of, hurdles become their own rewards." He agrees. "...What if it's password-protected?"

Kazuichi waves it off. "Most computers have the option to sign in as a guest. If that option isn't there, we can just wipe the laptop." He's not really worried about that. He only would be if he was trying to snoop through personal files, which he's not. He plugs the charger in, staring at the side of the laptop. "Well, the light came on, that's a good sign." He pulls back, leaning over against Gundham. "We'll give it a couple of minutes then see if it'll turn on. As long as the screen still works, we should be all good."

Gundham's not quite tempted enough to wrap arms around him, something he avoids for both their sakes (they're in an awkward position on the dirty floor, they have things to do!), but he does put some weight against the other and tilt his head down, trying to find purchase for his chin or cheek to rest in lieu of using his hands. "Mm. A very successful trial indeed. I can already see as much."

"Yeah, we've been going pretty well so far." Kazuichi pulls out the SD card and places it down on the table. "As long as the footage shows us what we're looking for, it'll be a big success." And he has no doubt that even if Shiryo wasn't awfully interested in what was happening in that room, they'd at least be able to figure something out unless the camera itself had been obstructed. "You know though...if there aren't any faults in the hardware, there's probably games on the laptop. Like, at the very least stuff like solitaire." Not the most fun things in the world, but it would at the very least be a pass time. "We could play chess together or something."

If they're going to be sitting here and Gundham is going to be acting at least half as a seat, he may as well fulfill his power-lending duty as throne in exchange for the unintended offense, right? He does finally venture a hand to Kazuichi's hip, but doesn't set it there, just sort of nudges him into position, letting him know clearly that the wide open-angled spot between his legs as well as the tops of his propped-up thighs are free real-estate. (It would also allow them both to operate the computer without having to switch spots on the floor back and forth, and Gundham's tall enough to look over his shoulder, so long as he stays in his half-kneel.) Kazuichi stares at him for just a moment. He supposes that is exactly what he keeps thinking about. To have it offered to him...how could he refuse? He shuffles over, sitting between Gundham's thighs and leaning back against his chest. It is nice. It's a little...emasculating almost but that's probably just insecurity. Doesn't stop Gundham from being comfortable. 

"Have you a mind to commit treacherous acts against the elite dead...?" Gundham teases. "Had I not warned you that the taint of my soul rubs off at the slightest touch?" Sure, he probably means as a one-time thing, but if there's anyone in the world he's pretty sure would rock at Minesweeper, it's Kazuichi Souda.

"Ah, I'm sure no one's going to miss it. It was probably just a work laptop anyway." Kazuichi leans his head back to be able to look at him, smiling. "But, if I am taking after you, does that mean I'm getting up to your level?"

Gundham looks down at him, lips pursed in thought. If anybody is being very deeply manipulated it is surely him, right? The way he's being forced to hold this man close, all because of his most basic blood desires. "It's part of the journey, sure. You can not rely on the quality of my teachings forever, but for now I allow it. ...Don't make me look bad."

"I won't, I promise." He almost wants to move his arms back to wrap them around Gundham's neck but...that seems even more girly (or maybe just couple-y) so he doesn't. Instead, he just pats his knees, his head leaning against his shoulder. "Besides, the goal is to be even so I gotta pull you down a few pegs anyway."

"Being taken down pegs has been exactly as I imagined it thus far, which is to say, a certain descent is taking place. Pray for your own sake that I do not burst into flame on orbit entry." It's not fun when it's actively happening, anyway, but the rewards have been...sort of nice. Like the fact that Kazuichi's hands are on him again and he can sigh and put his cheek on the other's head. He's suddenly a tiny bit self-conscious of the fact Kazuichi can certainly hear his every breath and tooth-grinding or hard swallow he's executing if he were to hone in on it. It's probably alright. He probably can't hear his guts from here. (It's such an odd feeling, having someone so close to him for so long with no...intimate distraction. He can't say he dislikes it, but it's certainly taking up more of his brain than he's comfortable with.) 

Kazuichi eventually leans forward, pulling the table closer so they don't have to move. He holds down the power button, retaking his place against Gundham's back when the laptop company's logo successfully appears on screen. Sure, there were still a bunch of software problems that could occur, but he could deal with those if they come up at all. "Hopefully this thing isn't so old that it's super slow but looks like we should be all good."

"If the great weight of time sits heavily upon its body I say we witness the struggle and delight." 

It takes a little longer than he'd like to boot up, but not as long as his old laptop. To be fair, his school laptop had been absolutely tortured through years of schooling without a single replacement or upgrade. But Kazuichi does exactly as he said he would, logging into the computer as a guest and completely ignoring what he assumes to be an administrator account. The first thing he does is check what apps the thing has, grinning to himself as he finds all the default games. Yeah, he'll keep this thing around to play with even if there isn't any internet connection. Next, he turns the laptop on its side to insert the SD card, loading up the files. There's one rather small file - Kazuichi's testing of the camera he's sure - and the much larger file of Shiryo's expedition. Honestly the length is a little jarring. It really puts into perspective how long they— "You ready? I'd say by the looks of it we did a pretty good job with this spy mission." 

Gundham laughs. He can definitely feel that, the way he shudders with it. He purses his lips to stifle the excitement. On one hand, this is the crux of their little adventure, and he's not one to consider it over prematurely. It feels good, it feels just fine. On the other, well. Maybe he can stuff down the bad feeling he has. He has bad feelings about a lot of things that end up...fine. Sort of fine. Gundham puts his hand over the trackpad and opens Shiryo's little journey. 

There's a bit of him and Gundham 'conversing', which his side of can be heard quite well - little squeaks and clicks and sniffles. How nice! The camera is tossed a little askew when he goes under the door, making the view a little bit more ceiling-focused than one might like as he scampers down the hallway. Gundham seeks forward, skimming. Shiryo makes a few pit stops to sniff at the doorways to some of the other boys' rooms, but mostly goes straight for the pod room. It's darker in there than in the hallway, and it takes the camera a second to recalibrate. Shiryo scurries against the wall, going around the perimeter of the room to start - finds a spot between a chair and the wall to turn around. The awkward camera angle works to his advantage for the moment, because it reveals more of Peko than just her legs as she stands at the doorway, back to the frame. She's looking around on the floor - the length of the video implies that this is not his time to perish, but it's still a little nerve wracking to watch as Shiryo stands stock still while Peko pats down her skirt and checks the immediate area in the dim light. 

"I told you the whole council was there." Gundham mutters.

Kazuichi frowns. He had kind of hoped that it was wrong to assume more people weren’t aware of the plan than just them but he's starting to feel like that might be the case. "Well...maybe she's just visiting. Not like the room is completely off limits."

He seems to be immediately proven wrong as Peko walks a little further into the room, satisfied apparently, soon followed by Hajime. Really, what would be the benefit of leaving them out? He can't help but wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that they're hanging out. Maybe they want them to just focus on spending time together because of Gundham being the most recent to awaken but he also can't help but consider the fact that them spending that time is being seen as a bad thing. He hopes not but it makes him…a little antsy. 

They prove not to be the only ones, either. Hiyoko, Mahiru. He sees nothing of Nekomaru or Akane as Shiryo follows the group into the centre of the room, toward the console, but he can hear the latter speaking loudly somewhere nearby, reverberating in the room. Hajime takes centre stage at the console, standing quietly while the girls greet each other with low voices, as if something solemn is happening just to their right. Hajime turns his head to interrupt. It's not quite clear enough to hear him. Everyone seems so dreary. It makes Gundham especially nervous. He pulls his hands around Kazuichi's middle and laces his fingers over his stomach, holding him, trying his best not to squeeze. He's normally good at being gentle, but Kazuichi feels a little too much like a big hardy dog to keep him from nervously cinching down on him. 

"So what were the numbers that had the outside world in them?" 

"I don't remember! I didn't think I'd have to remember anything about his files." 

"...I can see how you wouldn't think they'd be relevant, I guess. Do you have any idea on how to narrow it down, though? Anything at all can help." 

"Four hundreds?" 

Hajime sucks in a breath like a hiss and then nods, slowly, tapping in on the console. He's quite polite to Alter Ego, which is nice, as Gundham's pretty fond of the hamster-looking girl, and he'd also expect nothing less from Hajime, but it's still good to see. A little bit relieving. 

"...Four eighty-two? Maybe? Was one? I think it had dogs in it? He drew a dog." 

"...I didn't need to know any details, actually, just, y'know, maybe the number. If I'd seen it I'd probably be able to remember it, but, um..." 

"Souda came by and whined til we gave it back." 

"Kinda rightfully," Mahiru interrupts, "It is sort of like a diary that you took from him."  

"It's not his diary, what's he care?" 

"It's his friend's," Hajime says, a little sternly, as if that will diffuse Hiyoko. Oddly, though, she pipes down with a mumbled 'yes'. Hajime scrolls and finds nearabout the middle of the list and starts tapping around, checking clips. The camera is too low resolution to see what he's looking at exactly, but he feels his gut churn with anxiety. They're almost certainly looking through his video files.

"...fucking bitch." Kazuichi finds himself mumbling, placing his hand over Gundham's. Of course this is about their little project. If they were seriously that interested in it, why didn't they just ask? It would seem way less creepy than being all secretive and pretending like it doesn't involve them when it clearly does. Now it really feels like an issue of trust and Kazuichi really doesn't appreciate it. What makes it a lot worse is the fact that they're not talking badly about them which only makes him confused. 

Their hands lace together in a tight hold as they watch the group observe rather private files. Kazuichi had had permission to look at those, he can only imagine how invasive it must seem to Gundham given how vulnerable he can get in some of those videos. Is Hajime trying to figure out what they were already working on? It makes him want to punch the guy. It's not much of a betrayal but it kind of feels like one to his fragile heart, his gaze turning into a glare the longer they watch.

"Oh. Here's one. Be quiet, okay?" Hajime does his best to sound polite, but his tone of voice is impossible to ignore. 

Gundham puts his lips against Kazuichi's temple, the hair there brushing against them giving him some more sensory input to keep his head from overheating. There's a long while of relative silence and boredom. With his free hand Gundham taps forward. Seconds, and then minutes, until Hajime is speaking again. 

"You guys really don't, uh - need to watch, exactly." 

Hiyoko scoffs. "You couldn't pay me to watch that shit! Normal people didn't get all this gross junk scrambled in with their rehab, and it's because nobody, including the person it happened to, wants to see the sort of torture we got put through as kids." 

"...I don't think I..." Hajime makes a short noise of indecision about continuing the sentence, but then drops it with a hum. 

Gundham had felt bad in assuming this was their intention at all. That his opening to Kazuichi had resulted in any of this. Felt like it was another weight he was placing upon the poor underlings who could not carry his ire. He's not sure if he's relieved to have been right, in that all his misplaced anger was not actually, or if he's disappointed that he was right. He holds the hand he's been given white-knuckle tight. 

"Anyway. I don't think we need to, um...touch any more of those ones." 

"So that's it? Just one and done? You cracked it?" 

"I don't think I cracked it, but if I compare this to the code execution logs using the timestamps, I think I might be able to figure out what the program was trying to do. And if I know what the program considers to be a win condition, I can..." 

"Step right in the pigshit-for-brains she's got?" 

"I'd probably keep her brain intact if I could help it." The joke doesn't go over well especially with how straight it’s delivered. It hangs in the air for a second after Hajime gives an awkward chuckle. He lets it go, suddenly more serious, "The fail safes have been restored. It'll be okay, it has to. I just have to test it out."

Kazuichi sighs to himself. He feels annoyed by all of this. If that was all they wanted, why not communicate instead of stepping around it? He could've told Hajime that much, he could've saved him the time! He pauses the video, giving himself a moment. He turns his head so he can kiss Gundham's cheek in a drawn out fashion that makes it clear he's more so doing it for his own comfort rather than the affection of it. At least Gundham doesn't go behind his back like this. Hiyoko, he expects it from, but Hajime? What the hell is his problem? "...do you want to keep watching?" They're far from finished with the video but Kazuichi feels like he's seen enough. He doesn't need to see more of his supposed friend taking his notes and research and using them while refusing to tell him that's what he's doing. He wouldn't care as much if he had just said something! It almost feels like he's conjured this all into being. Like his anxiety has manifested it into life. 

"If the information is being used to resurrect the others, it's being used as I intended it to be." Gundham says. "I told you that. Though it was supposed to be justice wrought by your hands." Doesn't mean it feels good. In fact, the warmth that he'd been relishing has turned icy cold in his stomach. Two hamsters sandwich him, one under each side of his jaw, two little warm soft spots nuzzled into his neck trying to help calm him. He takes a deep and steady breath. He didn't cry as he was being prepared for death. He will not cry now.

"The problem isn't that it's being used." If they had found something helpful, Kazuichi was planning on bringing it up anyway. He turns himself around so he can hug Gundham properly. "The problem is that they're using what we figured out and keeping it a secret like we couldn't possibly be useful." If he felt left out before, he feels it tenfold now. Maybe it's just his trust issues but it's all deeply upsetting to him. They knew what they might find out could be upsetting, but he'd been hopeful...and this feels like he saw that hope being torn apart right before his eyes. "They're just being jerks..." Worse yet is the more he thinks about it, the less he wants to hear why they even did that. He doesn't think he'll be very receptive to whatever excuse they have by the time they actually tell them about it. They're meant to be getting along, they're meant to be friends...he shouldn't jump to conclusions about their reasoning but he can't help it.

Gundham hesitates a moment, but...draws him in. Holds him close. Puts his face into Kazuichi's neck, and twists his fingers into the back of his jumpsuit, gripping him tightly on either shoulder. "It is what humans do." He mumbles, with more than a little bit of resignation to his voice. The words don’t even hold their usual venom, just a tiredness. He loosens his grip substantially, hands falling to his lap. It could be worse, he tells himself. He isn't going to speculate how, just in case this really is some sort of nightmare that pulls directly from his thoughts and projects them. He sucks in a breath and uses the little boost of confidence from his puffed chest to say: "Well. It is not by the act of the witch hunters alone that a pact may void. But the revelation surely weighs on your heart. ...Really, there is no way even for me to predict how the spreading curse will defile its victims. It is not mine to control. I lied when I said that it was."

"I don't care about whatever the hell you lied about." Kazuichi huffs, fingers playing with his hair. "They're the ones in the wrong, not you or me." If this screws anything up, it'll be their fault. They're the ones who decided to be secretive around the two people most sensitive to the actions of others. Kazuichi just hopes how angry he feels is something that fades. He doesn't let his hold on Gundham go, staring at him for a long while. "...I want to stay with you tonight." He admits, something he'd been thinking about for a while but feels the need to bring up now. How much he wants to just retreat into whatever the hell their relationship is becoming probably isn't a good thing, but he'd rather have someone to lean on as opposed to distrusting everyone. "Especially now."

The chill in Gundham’s chest is replaced with a spark that lights up his face red, and has him nuzzling down into his scarf for shelter, but the storm that Kazuichi's words cause is less horrific than the one he'd been weathering a moment ago. With this hollowness in his heart threatening him with disinterest, with complacency, he feels a very distant fear. A fear he again doesn't dare to define. A fear that comes in pieces of images in his head, that sits at the end of equations in his mind as an inevitability. But Kazuichi is still gentle. The hands in his hair are delicate, despite their old  wounds and calluses. What fear threatens him from the edges of his awareness starts to retreat. "In my lair? Or in my bed?"

Kazuichi pauses, looking away even if it's not nearly as embarrassing to say now than it would have been if he'd admitted it a day or so earlier. "Both work but...preferably in your bed." Gundham is a nice distraction, for now. Part of him feels like it's deeply unhealthy to want to drown out his feelings of betrayal by pouring all his trust into one person, but he's not one to care all that much. Even before, it felt nice being close to him so it doesn't matter very much. He hopes. "We don't have to do anything." He clarifies, leaning his head against him. "I just...wouldn't mind if we could sleep together more." And now that he knows that he does, he doesn't want to be alone.

Gundham considers. "I've...never slept in the same bed as someone before." Not since he was young and shared one with his mother on rare occasions. The last time was maybe when he was...four? Maybe five? Since then it has been dogs, rats, cats, hamsters, ferrets, mice. Animals that didn't care about how he moved or sounded or felt or thought or did, so long as it caused them no harm. Who were just happy to be near something living, to share in life, to experience. "I don't know if I'd be a good companion for such a thing." He drools! He talks in his sleep! He sleeps naked! He's just generally deeply unpleasant to be around! Surely!

"That's okay." Kazuichi can feel his embarrassment only getting worse. He knows that as long as he gets to hold him, he's not going to really care about the rest but he knows how that sounds. He knows how it sounds to say he deeply enjoys being close to him and has thought about this since before their kiss. "The closest I've gotten to sleeping with someone is when we hand our nap together so..." Kazuichi wouldn't mind doing that all every day if he could. His fingers card through his hair for a long moment. "Did you uh...still want to stargaze or just go straight to bed?" 

Gundham looks past him to the computer screen. It grounds him a little, remembering where they are and what they're doing, really. Maybe he wants to keep watching, but he'd like to maybe settle into that feeling rather than dive. Or maybe he's only making up excuses to put a bit of distance between himself and the files. "...I'd like to be outside a while." He admits, still a little flustered from being caught off guard. "But after, you can retire with me in my casket, so long as you're aware of the dangers." Imagining constellations in his mind's eye as he drifts off sounds much better than thinking too hard about the simulation, or the girls, or Hajime, or Kazuichi's body or his voice or his skin, or his own concerns about his sleeping habits. Much nicer. More serene.

Kazuichi whines, pressing his face into Gundham's shoulder. "Don't say it like that, it makes you sound like a vampire." An attractive one who he wouldn't mind being trapped in a confined space with as he's bitten. He stops himself from shivering at the idea. Now isn't the time for that.

Chapter Text

Kazuichi sits there for a few moments longer before pulling away, closing the lid of the laptop and standing up. They can deal with it later, he has no desire to carry it around right now. He waits for Gundham to stand up as well and takes his hand, walking together out the building to find a good view of the sky. Kazuichi decides to stop on a patch of grass not far from the shore, unobstructed by buildings and trees. Perhaps this is better than trying to throw himself into Gundham's arms to make himself feel better.

"So do you know any of the constellations or do you need me to point them all out?" He asks as he sits down, hugging his knees.

"I know of many of them, as well as their configurations." Gundham brags, still standing for a minute and looking pointedly down rather than up. "To be able to pick them out of the great tapestry has never been my calling." There's so many stars, especially out here - how's he supposed to figure out which 'W' shape is Cassiopeia?

"Oh okay. Yeah, that bit can take some memorisation. There are apps that can help you with it but if you sit down I can show you." Kazuichi waits for Gundham to sit, sliding up as close as possible next to him. He leans his head close, pointing up at the sky in such a way that they can both follow his hand. "That's Aquila." He traces the constellation slowly a few times. "You can find it by looking for Altair which is the brightest star in the pattern." He points to that as well. "Being able to see Aquila means that it's probably summer time, and because we can see that, that means we'll also be able to see Sagittarius, but that one has a lot of stars in it." Kazuichi swears he only knows that star sign is Gundham's from the daily fortunes on television.

Gundham sighs as he leans into Kazuichi, following the movement. It only makes sense, to get their eyes as near to each other as possible, so… Without anything to do with the arm closest to the other, he lets it sit in Kazuichi's lap, palm on his knee. At first he's not sure he's seeing what Kazuichi is at all. The finger extended toward the sky doesn't seem to line up, but once he mentions the star and points it out, it starts to fall into place. The slight difference in their viewing angles all makes sense now and he's able to think back and rewatch the movement and find the bird in the weave like magic. He nods confidently and wordlessly and taps his knee a couple of times.

And the more Kazuichi talks, the less he seems to really notice their touch or their closeness, holding Gundham's shoulder to make sure their line of sight matches up as much as possible. "That over there is Lyra which you can find by looking for Vega." He repeats the process of tracing the pattern. He scans the sky for a short moment, squeezing him tighter. "And that one is Corona Borealis. Man, I wish I had a telescope, then you'd be able to see all of these way easier." He pulls the both of them down so they don't have to keep straining their necks, pointing over to another constellation. "That line over there is Draco. And that one there is Scorpius."

Now that he has it, he has it - Gundham follows the lines, hits all the points. Even adjusts his line of sight so Kazuichi's fingertip isn't obscuring what he's meant to be looking at. The grass is cool, but the air is warm, and so is Kazuichi, so are his soldiers. Funnily, on the ground is a very good position for him to be in: his face directly in Kazuichi's neck, staring up past his jaw and cheek that are in his peripheral vision. He likes this. He doesn't so much enjoy spending a bunch of time indoors or around mechanical fumes, but this - cracking open home appliances and looking at the stars - is, weirdly, beautiful. "You're making it up now." He mumbles. Far too many for him to just know by looking, right?

"I am not! There are so many constellations. You learn them all if you just stare at the sky long enough." Which Kazuichi did. He spent a very long time staring at the stars and memorising what he could. It's always been rather fascinating and was a good secondary pass time when he couldn't get his hands on anything mechanical. "And besides, there are only specific ones you can see every season because of the position of the Earth so you're only looking at a handful of them at a time. We can't even see some of them because of where we are on the globe so that narrows it down more." He sort of rants but in a way that portrays his wonder more so than his annoyance. "Plus, each one has its own myth about it that makes it even easier to remember."

That makes sense. If the sky encompasses the planet like an envelope, different positions would make for different perspectives, as would tilts and rotations. Gundham’s still not sure that Kazuichi is actually naming the exact constellations above them rather than just saying names that he knows and pointing at bright shapes, but he'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now. "...Which garners your favour?"

Kazuichi hums. "...you can't see it now, but I really like Andromeda. I'll never reach it, but just knowing something so big and beautiful can be seen from so far away is really cool." He lets his hand lower, he hadn't even realised it was getting sore until he did so, his gaze fixated on the sky. "If you go to Okinawa, you can actually see the Milky Way. And in winter, if you go to Hokkaido you can see the northern lights. Not a constellation, but a cool cosmic event I want to experience again someday." Kazuichi does pause, his expression twitching slightly. "I guess...for summer constellations...I do like Sagittarius...because it's got so many stars that make up it."

The hand that's been sort of idle between their bodies settles down on top of Kazuichi's. No grip, just lying there. The ocean rolls in and out distantly. Gundham’s not tired yet, but if he were, it'd be difficult to stay awake. "Is that why?" He asks, leadingly, but without a hint of a tease. Not because it's not there, but because he does his very best not to let it seep into his tone. "Shiryo is a descendant of Sagittarius, from my Zodiac Generals. Who was the son of the Crimson Steel Elephant. All great warriors, if a little overzealous and consequently foolish." (Shiryo nips him in the rib and he tries not to flinch at it. He'd been just about to profess how relatable he finds this condition, but apparently Shiryo doesn't wait for the following praise before he lashes out. ...He is much more like this hamster than he'd like to admit, isn't he?)

Kazuichi just hums. That's totally why he likes the constellation and no other reason. What other reason would he even have? He swears he only knows that star sign is Gundham's from the daily fortunes on television! "Well...the constellation is over there." He vaguely points in the opposite direction to where he's looking. He shouldn't feel embarrassed about that but he does. It doesn't mean anything, it's just a bunch of stars, but he's suddenly very aware of Gundham's breath on his skin. "You can see way more of the zodiac constellations in Spring, all the other seasons you can only see a couple."

Gundham hums a little, acknowledging the information. "So quite a while until they re-emerge from the horizon once more. Only with good fortune unbefitting of the causality's will would the ex-Overlord be accompanied to such a display by his celestial consort, hm?"

Kazuichi finds his shoulders rising just slightly, he's sure Gundham can feel how his heart skips a beat. It's nothing. It's really nothing at all yet his way with words makes it feel like so much. He turns his hand to Gundham's, rubbing his knuckles. "...I'll show you all of them."

From his spot in his neck, Gundham turns and kisses his jaw - partly because it's something that he wants, desperately, suddenly, that shred of closeness that Kazuichi had already given to him multiple times over the course of the night in short little displays, but also because the shoulder under his own chin sort of pushes him up into it. He doesn't mean for it to be loud, but with the quiet air outside and how close they are, the little smack is audible, making him smile subtly, involuntarily. So he doesn't deny the consortship? Not now, at least. Maybe Gundham should feel some level of insecurity, the idea that the eyes of the others on them staggers Kazuichi's actions so harshly, but at the same time, this feels so open. Holding eye contact in a closed, windowless room while rubbing against each other on the floor felt quiet and small. It was good, but it didn't have what he feels now. Like all the stars are gazing upon them, and in the middle of that massive crowd, Kazuichi is here promising to introduce him to each and every one.

He sits up on one elbow, just a few inches, just enough to lean over Kazuichi's face.

The warm air is bristled by salt, a sea full of stars yet he stares directly at Gundham. Kazuichi can feel his heart and how his face burns hotter. It's– just one of his many stupid nicknames and yet somehow it's the most romantic thing he's ever heard. There's absolutely no reason for him to care so much and yet…looking at Gundham now, he fits in so well with the night sky. There's not a word he could say to make this better. He's not even entirely sure what it is he's thinking at that moment but he doesn't care enough to decipher it. Kazuichi gently grabs onto Gundham's jacket. Each one of his nerves tingle as he closes the distance between them, slow and gentle.

He gets what people mean by the electric feeling of romance, suddenly. It waves over them. They close their eyes and let their lips touch. It's not even a kiss at first, just a touch of the most gentle, delicate parts of them. Only after a second does either of them make any move to actually kiss, slow, sweet. This is all he wants. Kazuichi smells like lingering sugar and stale supper. There's a sweetness that Gundham can't pick up from far away, but here, breathing the same air, he can taste it, something...something personal. He's not sure how to describe it. Maybe at some time it'd even be unpleasant, but for now, he reaches a hand up to cup Kazuichi's cheek and holds him close so he can keep getting dizzy from the other's breath. Listen to him draw them in. Feel him move his mouth, just a little. Here and there. Tilt, explore, feel as much of his lips as he can. He doesn't want to let go.

It's inherently different compared to their other kisses but Kazuichi can't quite say how. His hand slides up to wrap around Gundham's shoulder, letting them just stay in the slow and easy motion. The sound of the world around them somehow makes it all so much calmer, Kazuichi could almost forget everything for a moment. Even when they pull back and stare at one another, he's not quite as disappointed as he might be some other time. Gundham's so close and he's not going anywhere. That fact makes a warmth flutter through his torso. He likes the idea of staying just like this. He wants to say something but anything at all dies on his tongue. He has no idea what he even would say right now, gently pulling him closer to lean their foreheads together. How beautiful he is with his skin the colour of the stardust they're all born from. How disgustingly cheesy he feels having that be a thought he's even having.

Gundham's thumb runs over Kazuichi's cheek, lightly, gently, needing some kind of point of delicate contact to remain. He likes the dark eyes. The pink, with as perfectly dutiful as Kazuichi had been to display them each and every day, had begun to feel natural in a way, so seeing such a wide, dark expanse in his face is a little intimidating - not something Gundham would admit - but interesting. It's not bright enough for him to examine them closely, but he still likes the way his eyelid flutters a little when he gets his thumb just a hair too close. The next kiss he delivers is short and all eyes open, just a peck. He pulls in a breath like he's going to speak. Drops it. Picks it up again and whispers, "Didn't let me ask first."

Kazuichi’s almost startled by the silence being broken. His other hand slides up, rubbing his shoulder. He almost glances away. "I'm sorry..." He whispers back. "I didn't know you were expecting me to wait." It had felt so natural, he'd almost forgotten that's what Gundham wanted to do in the first place. "You'll just have to ask me some other time."

A little smile flickers on Gundham’s face. "You're forgiven," he gets in one more kiss, and then another, "a hundred times over."

Kazuichi laughs, letting his hands rest on the back of his head. "Does that mean I get a hundred freebies before I'm not forgiven?"

"You've incurred my ire at least one hundred times before now. Consider this your clean slate. Bolster yourself more in the favour of me if you'd like, though. Your peals will help."

Kazuichi pouts, playfully. "So you just want me to sit here and wait for you to kiss me first? What if you look extra kissable?"

"You could use whatever falsehood you'd like to cover yourself." He strokes the sideburn growing out black on Kazuichi's temple. It's greasy. The thought only barely occurs to him, and is gone the next moment. "My evil eye cuts through your flattery to its core desire."

Kazuichi hums, leaning in closer so that their noses brush against one another as he narrows his eyes. "And, tell me, what does your evil eye see?"

"You seek the protection of my encompassing aura." The words come just as easy as the nuzzling - the twists of his stomach don't discriminate: what feels nerve wracking and what feels incredible and warm are all intertwined. He couldn't pick them apart if he tried. "Or you like me."

Kazuichi's confidence falters. Saying it so quietly makes it hard to argue. He wouldn't enjoy being kissed and want to spend all night with him if he didn't… "I-I did tell you you're hard to dislike." His hands squeeze as he turns his head away.

"Which is a very bold stance to be perpetuating." Gundham grumbles, pulling back a little after Kazuichi's nose hits his with a little more force than he'd been expecting. He pokes his cheek with his thumb. "Sweet nectar may come forth from each pore, but carnivory is a cunning mechanism that to trust is a deadly mistake."

"Don't say that...it sounds like you're gonna screw me over." Which is the last thing he wants to be thinking about right now. "...don't tell me you're like some sexy villain who's gonna throw me in a ditch at the last second..."

He has plenty to say about the first thing, but the second makes Gundham laugh a little. He has an excuse ready, but weirdly enough, he doesn't feel like putting himself down further, or propping up the possibility of a dreaded end in store. "I guess I have been taught how to bend reality to my will in recent times. I hope that isn't the fated result. I will do battle against these forces if you will."

"Yeah..." Kazuichi pulls Gundham closer, pressing his face into his shoulder. "...can't be your celestial consort if you leave." The title makes him so uncomfortably red yet it still echoes in his brain. Gundham practically never gives him titles and to be called something so...intimate, perhaps...that feeling he can't quite place returns. 

"Hah! Fuhahahah!" His laughter is a little loud for how close they are. "No, no. To leave, willingly? No." Not after everything.

Kazuichi nods a little and lets hands run down his chest, leaning just a little closer so he can feel his neck against his cheek. "Can we...go to your room now?"

Gundham kisses his hair and then does the difficult bit for him, grumbling as he  pushes himself up into a sitting position, and starts to do inventory. One hamster is already obvious, as Kazuichi finds it while he touches Gundham's chest, two, three...four. All four. And Kazuichi, too. "You diurnal creatures confound me."

"Are you more of a night owl?" Kazuichi asks as he stretches, standing up and wrapping himself around Gundham's arm when he does the same. "Even if you're not tired, I still want to be in bed...so we can be more...comfortable."

"I tend not to indulge slumber at all." He says, boldly, as if he hadn't napped in front of Kazuichi at least twice in the past few days. He pats the grass off of his own back and behind. "You're not making it sound as nonsexual as you think you are…" Gundham mumbles, but puts up with holding him close, anyway - goes searching for a hand in the mess while they walk until he finds it. While outside it's not so important, but once they're back inside and down in the basement, even with darkness-adjusted eyes, the contact is crucial to navigating reliably.

Through the pitch-black hall they shuffle until Gundham's free hand meets the dip of his door inlaid on the frame, the little red 'locked' light guiding the way to the handle. The overhead light is on just long enough for him to get his bearings, the bathroom light once again being used to bring light into the room as to not have to be quite as intense. Kazuichi watches as he fusses with the hamsters, standing by the end of the bed as he fiddles with his zipper. They get to sleep together. It's nothing intense but it's still somehow nerve-wracking. He gets to be in Gundham’s bed, in his arms. He gets to wake up next to him in a way he hopes will feel better than before. Of course, his brain runs wild with the possibilities, but he's not really expecting anything more than cuddling.

He decides to pull his jumpsuit off, sitting under the covers on the furthest side of the bed. He's debating internally if he wants his shirt off or not but he supposes that he can always see how he feels for now. He's not very insecure about his body, but he feels a bit more confident with it on. If anything, it assures Gundham his intention is just sleep. "You're taking forever." He pouts as he lays down, hugging the pillow as he watches Gundham.

And he is, but not for lack of trying to hurry. It's too early in the night for the soldiers to be ready to be set to resting, and not one of them wants to be anywhere but against Gundham's body. Yurei obliges him fine, but the rest aren't so easy to convince. Well. He's taking his clothes off anyway, isn't he? They'll have to leave at some point. "Come here, you." He mumbles, pulling his scarf off and getting a palm full of an already-asleep Reikon. At the spot where his shirt tucks into his trousers, Shiryo still sits, circling his waist over and over to avoid his hand. But once he pulls it open and off and the poor thing has nowhere to go, he begins to climb Gundham's chest. Exposed now, Gundham gives an evil chuckle as the hamster is captured - and a hiss as he's bitten by it - while putting him back in his enclosure. "Alright. I know. Shh." Mononoke has bitten a convenient canal between the inside of his trouser pocket and the space between the pant leg and his skin. Carefully, in the dim light, he strips them off, along with his socks, and fishes her out of the fabric pile on the floor. She's sweet enough not to bolt for the door and escape, thankfully. He kisses her on the top of the head before he settles her in her bedding, tsking at her as he tries to keep her little hands out of the cage door as he closes it.

Finally, he's done. He folds his clothes messily and tosses them onto the back of the chair at his desk and stands, a little awkwardly at the side of the bed with one knee and both palms on it, hesitating to climb in.

Kazuichi finds his blush somewhat returning. He'd never really been bothered by seeing other guys naked before but…Gundham's different now. He can't tell if that's bad. He turns his face into the pillow just enough to keep one eye on him, holding out his arm to encourage him closer. As Gundham finally joins him properly, they both slide closer. Kazuichi lays just shy of touching his chest, wrapping his arms around his torso. "... I'll keep my hands right here." He mumbles.

"Please." Gundham affirms that the position that their hands are in is good for now with a nod. It takes a little adjusting - more than he's used to - to make sure that he has enough pillow, make sure he's not about to fall off the bed that is certainly not made for two people, figure out what touches he's comfortable with and which ones he's not, and to figure out where to put his arms, hands and feet. But he does, he finds a place, facing the other, with one arm under the pillow and the other resting on Kazuichi's side, just below his armpit, elbow crooked so he can set his hand in his hair, completely still. He puts one leg over Kazuichi's and pulls him in. If they're going to do it, they ought to do it, right? No half-assed snuggles? "...Are you comfortable?"

Kazuichi isn't quite as closely pressed against Gundham as he might have been some other time, but this is still nice. He feels just the right amount of encompassed, even if he does find himself a little disappointed that their skin isn't making quite as much contact as it was earlier. He's not going to pull away unless he has to. He pulls the blanket up over his shoulder, laying his head on his chest. "Very." He confirms. He could stay there forever. "...what about you? It's not awkward?"

"Nothing stands out." Gundham says, although he doesn't sound perfectly confident in his assertion. He lets out a breath and scoots in a little closer to make up for the way his chest deflates a little as he sighs. "You realize you are now trapped here until I awake again. Or until my ichorous marrow boils over and I find need to return to my frozen prison."

"That's the idea." Kazuichi smiles against him, squeezing gently. Gundham's skin is so soft and soothing, like a cold pillow. Just being close to someone is much nicer than he had ever imagined...he'd like to do this every day if he could. "You're trapped here too. Not letting go until you make me."

"Exercising much more power than you have. Bold strategy for clawing your way to the top." He's not tired, is the problem. He enjoys the closeness. The touch is fine. He's not especially nervous, he's just sort of invigorated, albeit with a terribly nervous feeling. Not about this, he's pretty sure. Gundham has no issue lying here until he’s tired. Besides, he has plenty to think about, and now the time to think about it a little more rationally. The calm space, right? That's how it's supposed to be. He sort of wishes he'd turned out the bathroom lights - being in the dark would hide the way he's staring over Kazuichi's shoulder and into the wall.

Kazuichi laughs against him again, quietly. Their legs are tangled together and his fingers are pressed into his back. He's too...happy. A kind he's only really experienced in that moment and a kind he's not sure he can really replicate if he tried. It doesn't make sense but perhaps it doesn't need to at that moment. "...if I asked to do this again, would that be okay?" He says after a few minutes of silence between them.

Gundham blinks, just on the precipice of lowering himself into the bog below of unsorted feelings and letting it devour him when he hears a voice. He looks down at him, seeing mostly forehead and hair, and rattles Kazuichi around on his chest with a forceful, evil laugh. "You ask to ask? What's the point? Besides, you've seen naught half of the consequences of sleeping in the lion's den. Wait until you are sure that the question would settle upon your lips once more before you insinuate such unnecessary anxieties." After a second, though - "If you asked, I would answer." Even Kazuichi's boxers bother him a little bit sensory-wise, but the skin is so distracting that he hardly realizes that there's anything at all to complain about. He puts his lips to Kazuichi's head. No kiss, just rest. "It's calming, in a way."

"...so this is okay?" One arm unfurls from around him, instead reaching up to play with Gundham's hair. Kazuichi has to agree, it does feel calming to lay here. He takes in a deep breath, gently scratching the shorter patches of hair. The heat in his chest is familiar yet still entirely new to him. He doesn't mind it so much, he'd be happy to experience it more often and figure out what it all means in the process. "If you're okay with it...then I'm happy."

"If it weren't 'okay' you'd be punished." Gundham assures him, flashing his teeth briefly, and then closing his eyes against the sensation. "Very underling of you to reveal."

Kazuichi's hand pauses briefly. He knows why the idea doesn't sound horrible to him and it's embarrassing, making a small whining sound as he moves in such a way as if he's trying to bury himself in Gundham's chest. "You do not want me thinking of you as my overlord."

"Maybe not." Gundham presses his own palm to the back of Kazuichi's neck and gives him a slightly awkward rub before he decides that this isn't exactly his type of petting and backs off. "You are only being reminded." It does have him wondering, though - and then diverting as much attention away from that wondering as he can do, which as it turns out, is quite a bit. What an odd timeline they belong to for him to even half-agree to such a statement. Luckily, so far, Kazuichi has done little to point out his uncharacteristic periods of calm or clarity or reflection, and hasn't quite chased it back off into the shadows again. "It sounds delightful, though, even while its core has been tainted..." He puts a peck to the patch of long hair he's currently buried in.

Kazuichi finally looks up at him, a small and not really intense glare on his face. "Delightful? You'd like to have me utterly obsessed with you?" No, actually, he can completely see Gundham being into that. Piling on praise after praise, he could see him adoring that treatment. And well, the implications of it sort of have his ears turning pink. "You're so wonderful, my lord," he mocks, leaning up towards his face. "So amazing and powerful, I'm so happy to be next to you. So loyal to my lord."

The look on Gundham's face is inscrutable at first - it twists and contorts and he pulls his chin back against his chest and blinks in surprise, but as the treatment goes on, the tight purse of his lips becomes much more recognizable. He's trying very, very hard not to laugh. So much so that he's blinking away tears and has to close his eyes and turn his head to keep from looking at the stupid face being shoved into his vision that has him so near to breaking. He opens the cage of his legs and leans back a little, regaining his composure with a shaky breath out. "After so long you've picked out so little vocabulary?"

Kazuichi pouts, taking Gundham's face in his hands as he sits between his legs. The amusement in his eyes is clear, yet he continues anyway. "You're so mean, my lord. I'm trying to tell you how grateful I am and how much I adore your strength. You hurt me so, my lord." Though, as he speaks, he can't keep his smile down trying to stop himself from laughing.

And oh, how weak Gundham is at the opportunity to roleplay and be humoured. Even if Kazuichi still has the sort of annoying (lovely) whine-lilt to his voice, even as he's trying to play a new role. He turns to one of the palms against his cheeks and grins into it, channelling all he can into a malicious chuckle. "Mean? Surely you know more suffering than that. Surely at my hand you've been subject to such horror that mean is far from your mind! Terrific! Tyrannical! Ghastly! Pernicious. Ruinous..." He's got a million of them. With Kazuichi perked up a little he can recline with his arms outstretched behind his head, only very quietly bonking the headboard with his knuckles. "There is no education so searing, branding, so permanent as the one delivered by divine punishment!"

Kazuichi finds himself laughing, only slightly. He can't just stop now. Even though Gundham playing along turns his insides. This would be so much easier if he couldn't see his face. "...very much so, my lord." He continues, his hands running down his chest and resting on the bed either side of his torso. "It's why I've vowed to not disappoint you." Kazuichi realises he's walking a very dangerous line. He's not great at improvising like Gundham is so the longer this goes on, the more likely he'll be to fold. Yet, strangely he views it as a challenge. Or he truly just wants to see where this will lead. "You hold such power that I cannot comprehend...your punishments seek to destroy my lesser mind." It's weird, it's been a while since he spoke about himself this way...and never in a non-serious context. He can feel himself getting more embarrassed by the second. "Are you not pleased with how I speak to you? Would you like me to be more formal around my lord?"

"It is my will. Your eagerness to please makes the process much smoother, though know it would have proceeded with or without your feeble blessing." The touch is a little distracting, and forcing down his excitement is taking up a significant chunk of Gundham’s brainpower, too, but he feels so bolstered by the commentary. While he's like this, Kazuichi being over the top of him doesn't seem bad at all, but he stays vigilant. Just in case. Especially since he can see the cracks forming in the other's façade, and this time, it doesn't look so much like laughter as it does realization of the position he's put himself in. Gundham can't help but smirk about it. "Ah, see here was your overlord convinced of the farce in your adulations! Seems now you're putting forth what little strength you do have into your worship, though, is that right?"

Kazuichi grabs the sheets, trying to stay focused. He usually hates Gundham being all dramatic and leaning into all of this. He was only doing it in the first place to tease him! But he really should have thought it through a bit more. "Of course." He lowers himself in such a way that he's looking up at him once more as that feels like the more appropriate position for the role he's supposed to be in. "My lord deserves every ounce of devotion. Mortal words mean so little yet I...find myself enraptured by your excellence." Kazuichi feels like he has to think about every sentence, how does Gundham so easily speak like this all the time? It does help distance himself from the role a little bit but it doesn't help an awful lot.

Yet Gundham waits patiently for each one, gives him the time to think without so much as changing his expression a tinge. As much as he'd love to tease him for that, he's so excited about being indulged that he can't help but be a little more encouraging than perhaps he'd normally go for. He crosses both arms behind his head to give himself a little extra space to look down. What he intends to be a scornful gaze has such a softness to it, though, and he can tell. "Enraptured...this one pleases me..." He hikes one knee up and puts a heel onto Kazuichi's lower back. "You may elaborate."

Kazuichi swallows. Even if this whole thing is his own fault, he's still the one who ends up in the awkward position. He really needs to stop doing that, he can't keep trying to tease Gundham only for the guy to somehow flip it back on him. It feels unfair. "What mortal without an uncorrupted mind wouldn't be?" Praise, all he needs to do is figure out how to praise him while using the most complicated words he can think of. But surely Gundham knows he's only making that task harder. "Your mind holds the knowledge of more grimoires than I dare think exist. Your curse binds my soul for I am...powerless to escape." Kazuichi does feel weird speaking this way but he has to admit it is kind of nice taking a feeling and spinning it into an unrecognisable metaphor. He might actually be starting to understand why he bothers being obtuse in the first place - if no one can quite understand what you're talking about, then perhaps there's less disappointment. Still ridiculously difficult to come up with on the spot. Especially when they're sitting the way they are. "My words and breath are stolen as if you have pulled them from my chest. Enchanted as though you are the fae...impotent as I am when faced with you, my lord, it is simply within my nature to take your bewitchment and give you my being."

The remaining sharp edge to Gundham’s expression fades away, and the lines so often etched between his brows by his tailored scowling visage smooth out as he loosens. It's nice. He only ever got this from other weird theatre kids, and none of them felt as good to overcome as Kazuichi. Plus, a lot of them fought back a little harder. "I will take it. I will take it, flesh and flaw and all." He takes Kazuichi's jaw in one hand and tilts his face up so he can kiss him directly between the eyes, sitting up and ruining the posture Kazuichi's trying to hold. He commits every line to memory. Odd that when it comes from his own mouth it feels like the only way, icy prongs of rime coated teeth that have long since had its pressure grown into - but from Kazuichi it's… "You sound like a pretentious nerd." He eventually says with a chuckle - the only reason he feels even halfway confident in saying such a thing is that he can very clearly hear Kazuichi saying it in his head. It still makes him flush, though, nerves welling up in him. Silly, maybe, to be so scared of speaking like the rest, but it does feel odd, vulnerable, bare.

Kazuichi's expression completely breaks, making an embarrassed sound as he presses his face into Gundham's stomach, forcing out a surprised noise from the other. He feels like he's going to die, his face is so hot and whatever comfort he had created five minutes ago is almost completely replaced by his very mixed feelings on the matter. "That's because I'm talking like you!" His whine is muffled, kicking his legs to try and release some of the energy inside him. He really needs to stop doing this to himself, why do they always end up teasing each other!? "Can I stop now? I don't know how much more I can handle..."

Gundham laughs awkwardly as he puts both hands onto Kazuichi's shoulders and rubs them with the heels of his palms. He shouldn’t go all sweet on him now, but this is cute, and it's something he can understand. Something he doesn't see others do nearly often enough, that outlet, that need to move, but in the same way he can understand how it sometimes has...complicated origins. "What was your plan?!"

"I didn't have one!" He continues to complain, turning his head  so he can look up at him. "I thought you'd tell me it was stupid but then you just went with it and I..." Kazuichi should've seen that coming, both of their reactions. Of course Gundham would go along with it and of course he himself wouldn't back down. Why would he when the guy he was praising is so attractive. He's starting to hate some of the things he's thinking about him lately...

Gundham reels back in exaggerated surprise, rubbing the other's back, between the shoulder blades. "I thought we were having fun. I was being gifted uncannily accurate prose, and you, experiencing an endless fount of affection...a very generous fount of affection, anyway. You were very nearly as adept as I at mimicry."

"I-I was having fun..." The problem wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, just that he was liking it a little too much and was starting to realise how pathetic that must seem to be. Kazuichi pulls himself back up so he can lay next to Gundham properly again. "It's just difficult..." And it feels silly if he actually lets himself think about what he's doing. "And you make it harder."

Gundham stays sitting up, leaning forward and putting a hand on his stomach where he'd had Kazuichi's face just a moment ago. ...Odd feeling. He hums thoughtfully, eyes narrowing again and lips quirking. "Difficult? Communications, or something else?"

"I don't know!" Kazuichi pulls at his shirt. But he does know. It's difficult talking like that in a pretend way when he has genuine thoughts about it. It's difficult calling himself less than to a completely naked man. It's difficult to tease him when all his degenerate thoughts are suddenly about him! He gets up to turn off the light just to give himself a chance to breathe, climbing back under the covers with a huff and sliding closer until his knees hit Gundham's skin. "I-It's all just weird."

Gundham grumbles, but it's more so at the sudden mood shift than it is at any of the physical actions taken. "Well. You're currently in skirmish with very easily the tongue's worthiest foe. Fought beside or against, I cannot see." He does agree, though. Everything is extremely weird right now.

"...just stop being hot and the problem will be solved." Kazuichi mumbles, letting his arms wrap around him again. He wants to get back to the quiet of earlier but he's not really sure they'll be able to now. A mistake on his part. But he just can't help himself, he sees an opportunity and he just has to take it for some reason.

"The far reaches of your perceptions of beauty baffle me." Still sat up on one elbow, Gundham only has a single arm to use to pat Kazuichi's shoulder. "Anyway, that's not possible. If you have seen me as anything but a threat despite my better efforts, I think you've contracted illness enough to be fatal."

"You got real close to fucking me, of course I think you're hot." And his perception of beauty was completely normal! He likes women with soft features and a chest he can lay on...and wouldn't mind that same woman taking an unhealthy amount of advantage over him...and well some vehicles were pretty hot but not in the same way! And apparently he likes Gundham too. Which…now that he thinks about it, he's sort of similar to his usual taste in girls just with more masculine features…either way, his tastes were completely normal!! "Guess I'll just have to die then. You gotta do something really unspeakably horrible for me to stop thinking you've got a good face," and chest and hands and—

"Gfff," that's what it takes to fluster him, apparently, because Gundham makes an aborted hissing sound that he sort of chokes on. Technically, he knows that taste is subjective, and some people like a dangerous allure, but...hot. Cute. Pretty? He scowls down into the space where Kazuichi's voice is coming from, just in case he has night vision or something. "Alas, you may be unkillable," he mutters, patting around until he finds the top of Kazuichi's head, "and unsalvageable."

Kazuichi hums, sighing as he relaxes into him again. "Don't say that...you kissed me first so you must be into me." This is better, this he can actually handle to some degree. He stretches his legs and back before settling into a more comfortable position, laying more on his stomach with one leg over Gundham's. "You must think there's some value there, right?"

"...Are you stupid?" Gundham hisses again, the sort of awkward petting he'd fallen into the rhythm of stalling suddenly. "I was under the impression you had the brazenness to call me your rival because of your bold heart." Despite having chalked it up verbally to an empty head, anyway. "Value to me is a different value than that through the eyes of mortalkind, you know that, surely."

Kazuichi frowns. "What does that have to do with whether or not you think I'm attractive?" There’s a hint of annoyance but only enough to make it clear he’s confused.

It's not Gundham's intent to argue, he just - he grumbles and rubs his face with both hands. It's just a lot all at once, and he knows that trying to explain it won't work the way he wants it to. "I think you are fine," he says, finally, jamming the heels of his palms into his eyes with a grunt, "not fine, " not passable, barely, "But fine. Good. Interesting." ...Intelligent, amusing, attractive, exciting, admirable. "Among other things. My opinion of you has fluctuated but its core has remained the same, a central idea I'm sure some otherworldly being as a kindred spirit in this realm would have picked up on. But the lack of understanding hasn't turned me off of the path as it should have, so what, then, does this imply for me?"

Kazuichi listens, sitting silent for a moment. He can hear the frustration and he can't say he doesn't understand. He pushes himself up, wrapping his arms around Gundham's neck. Feeling a way you're not quite sure of... that's something he knows far too well. "... we'll figure it out." He finds himself saying, an attempt at comfort. He doesn't want to admit the things in his own chest don't make much sense either and he hasn't quite labelled them yet, but neither of them should have to feel pressured into doing so. "Just...do what seems right and you'll know eventually." At least he hopes.

Gundham heaves a sigh. "Trapped forever within the confines of the black iron soul." He knows he's just being dramatic now, but it makes him feel better to overblow it a little in a poetic sense. He leans into Kazuichi a little and makes another noise of disgust. He pulls his arms around the other's shoulders and squeezes him as tight as he can, which will surely reassure him that the beast he's fraternizing with is one of magic and not flesh.

Nonsense, Kazuichi wants to say, but instead just leaves Gundham be. No point making it more difficult for him right now than it has to be. They sit there for a moment and he gently rubs his neck before taking a deep breath. "Come on. If we're not planning to do anything else, get yourself in a more comfortable position so you'll actually fall asleep." He says as he pats his back.

He survives the ordeal. See? Not human.

Gundham does sink down, returning to his position - lying down, blankets pulled all the way up, stuffed under his chin in place of his scarf. Really, he'd probably like to sleep on his back, but that isn't quite conducive to bodily contact, and that is something that he's committed to now, at least to test it out. "...Prepare yourself for the storm." He mumbles, but honestly, isn't that afraid - not right now. Maybe when he wakes up, but for the moment, he's a little more comfortable. "How do you usually do this?"

Kazuichi shrugs. "Depends on how tired I am. As long as I'm comfortable, I can fall asleep." Though, he's never properly slept with someone like this so he's not really sure what position would be most comfortable. "I guess...this will depend on how close you want to be." He lays himself so they're facing the same direction, positioning them so that Gundham's arm is around him, essentially the reverse of how they were when they were stargazing. "I think this is comfortable. Or I could properly hug you...or I guess we could spoon."

Gundham can imagine this being quite nice or awful in pretty much any way presented to him...but technically, spooning, in his admittedly very limited knowledge, is essentially the same as if he were to be lying with a large stuffed animal. Except it's alive. So that may not be so bad. Plus, then, he wouldn't be breathing the same air Kazuichi is quite as much, which would surely put him a little more at ease. He hums, thoughtfully, and starts to turn onto his side, giving little prods to encourage him to do the same. And he does turn, snuggling himself back into Gundham's chest as arms wrap around him. He let out a happy sigh, leaning his head back against him.

He hadn't really considered himself being a little spoon, but if that's what Gundham wants. It's not quite the same as properly being able to hug, but it's contact nonetheless. "Comfortable now?"

Still blind, Gundham noses the hair away from the back of his neck and sets his face there against his spine. He lets himself relax, one piece at a time, melts into place. It's actually not as different from cuddling with a dog or something than he thought it might be. A lot more skin on skin, which is a little sticky with as hot as Kazuichi runs, but it's nice. He's comfortable for the first time in a while, unfurled instead of curled up into a ball in the center of his bed. He has the odd desire to scruff his fingers over the center of Kazuichi's neck like he is petting a dog. He does a similar motion, but is a little gentler with him than he would be with a pelted one. "...Yes. Very."

Kazuichi's spine tingles with the initial contact but eventually grows used to it. He doesn't mind this at all. He likes the closeness. He's almost regretting wearing a shirt now but it's not all bad. "Good..." He hums. He's comfortable too. Kazuichi relaxes into him, letting his eyes close as silence falls upon them. He knew he'd enjoy the contact but this is far more than he had assumed. It's relaxing actually. Whatever Gundham's doing, it makes him feel good. He takes in a deep breath, gently rubbing Gundham's arm. He doesn't realise he's fallen asleep, his night completely dreamless.

Chapter Text

It takes a while, but Gundham’s blissfully empty-minded while they lie there. He can't quite force himself to think sad or stressful thoughts - or many thoughts at all - except keeping in the forefront of his mind the exact texture of Kazuichi's shirt. There are a couple of times in the night that he wakes, mostly when there's a hamster running around like a maniac or drinking, but there's also more than once that Kazuichi wriggles in his grip or turns and rouses him for a second before he goes right back to sleep. He turns onto his back once or twice, but always gets cold and turns back to pulling Kazuichi into his arms.

The light clicking on that morning automatically makes him hum quietly and grope for the blanket to pull it over his and Kazuichi's heads. Not ready yet. Kazuichi makes a small noise himself but settles back into their hug again. A good few minutes to by until he finds himself properly waking up as the air around him grows hotter with the blanket. He blinks, looking around briefly to try and get a hold of his surroundings before smiling. Gundham. He's still holding him. Kazuichi sighs, something about the position not exactly leaving him ready to start the day, rolling over so he can give him a proper hug. His skin has warmed up a bit over night. It's strange but not unwelcome. Kazuichi looks up at him, eyes closed with no makeup. He likes the way he looks. The tattoos sting him a little but...they sort of fit him too. He reaches up, tracing the one on his cheek, earning him a drowsy grumble.

"Mmh…" Gundham scrunches his nose and rolls his shoulders with a groan, raising a hand to touch the one near his face, still having not quite opened his eyes.

Kazuichi smiles wider. He really is cute and he's not sure he can deny it anymore. Thinking someone is cute is just...an observation and doesn't have to mean anything specific. He leans up, gently kissing his jaw because it just feels right, pressing himself as close as possible to him. "Hi..." He says quietly, honestly feeling incredibly refreshed compared to the dream ridden nights he usually has.

Gundham just huffs and melts, pulling the other's face close and kissing whatever of him he can reach, and ends up pressing his lips to the corner of an eye. "Mmhm." He agrees eventually, nodding as if he's been asked a question rather than greeted.

Kazuichi laughs, finding himself pulling up slightly so they can share a proper kiss. That gets him a bit more animated, Gundham following his mouth blindly to keep him close. Gundham's really not a morning person, it's been obvious since day one given he never arrived on time for meals, but it's rather endearing to see it in person. "...we can just stay here until you're ready." Not like he's going to ruin perfectly good snuggles by going about his barely present morning routine.

Gundham finally manages to get his eyes open and force a yawn that he buries in the pillow. He stares at Kazuichi for a short moment only to lean back in to catch his lips. It feels good. Warm. "Eternal slumber…" he mutters between swells, still working on creating full sentences.

Kazuichi hums, happily wrapping himself around Gundham. It’s so gentle - domestic almost - and he enjoys that. "No eternal slumber," he mutters back. "I'd miss you..."

"Egch. You'd come with me." He grumbles, dismissively, hands moving down Kazuichi's sides until they're at his hips, the skin there revealed with the hiking up of his shirt from sleep. He gives a tug to take the other with him as he turns to lie flat on his back again.

Kazuichi shivers, easily being moved with him. He makes sure to keep himself close enough to still be able to kiss, humming against him. "Yeah?" Actually, maybe he doesn't mind the idea. Eternally in his arms... "We can stay here all day if you really want."

Could they? Gundham actually gives it some thought for a second - really, they've got nothing to do, do they? It's not like they've been given any responsibilities, really, and they've had what little they did have taken away. The furrow returns to his brow while thinks, still kissing, making thoughtful noises as they continue. He very carefully navigates Kazuichi's legs until he's on top of him without kneeing anything important, tucks himself between his legs, and returns to pulling palms over the outsides of Kazuichi's thighs. "Hmm. Maybe a worthy experiment, seeing if our absences would be felt." He's not sure he really wants to know the answer to whether anybody gives a shit or not, but on the other hand, on the off chance they do care, he doesn't quite mind giving them a little scare. Well. Sonia, maybe not. Nekomaru has also been quite nice... He frowns against Kazuichi's lips. What a sour thought to have first thing in the morning.

Kazuichi, on the other hand, is very fixated on Gundham's touch. He'd much rather be focusing on that rather than anything else. Why would he think about how upset he is with Hajime when he can think about how good his lips feel and how much he likes having his hands on him? "Or you can just have fun with me. We hardly see everyone else anyway, so why not just enjoy a day to ourselves?"

"Mmh..." Gundham does consider it. He weighs it very heavily, actually. "Well. If the great Kamukura's prediction skills are to be trusted, this may indeed be our last full day uninterrupted by new awakenings, yes?" That's a nicer thought. Even if he doesn't quite like them, he would still prefer the rest of the sleeping to not perish .

Kazuichi nods. "And I want to spend it with you." So he doesn't have to think. So he can feel good and blush all morning and not even consider that people might dislike him. So he can sink into Gundham's arms and take his affection and pretend he isn't scared of this or of his own mind. So they can kiss without worry and he can believe for a few hours nothing exists outside this room. He holds a long kiss, not quite as hard as he'd like it to be but he smiles all the same. "So can I tempt mister overlord into staying here?"

"Mmm," Gundham hums into the kiss, letting Kazuichi know that he's ready to answer, although he doesn't mind that their lips fail to part for a little while longer. "He's professed to be a commoner and yet he proffers like a siren." A hand meets the back of Kazuichi's neck, and he pulls him in again, this time running his teeth over his bottom lip. Fine. He's never been a social one, anyway. This is no shortcoming he's unfamiliar with fulfilling.

Kazuichi shivers, licking Gundham's mouth in response. Good, perfect even. He couldn't be more happy to fully have his attention right now. "I'm surprised I have influence if that's the case." He'd turn the light off if he could pry himself from Gundham's arms. Perhaps...this isn't the greatest thing he's doing for himself, but god damn it it feels good at the moment. Running his hands over Gundham's sides and pushing his own shirt up more so their chests can touch directly.

"The song works on more than mere humans, for if it did, they would not be so widely feared, would they? Mm." It's with that that Gundham realizes they both taste absolutely awful, but Kazuichi is touching him, and it's no worse than his breath that he was putting up with quite fine under the blankets a minute ago. Besides, it helps meter his expectations and reactions a little - he's only here, for now, to be close. He shows it by using the entry granted to him sparingly, far less interested in impaling himself on Kazuichi's teeth this time and more on just keeping his mouth busy with something other than his foot for once while he gives the other a chance to explore him a little.

Kazuichi pulls back eventually. "...am I being too needy?" He finds himself asking, letting his hands come back up so he can instead play with Gundham's hair. The lack of full encouragement due to muted enthusiasm makes it harder to tell what he’s thinking...and he'd rather not feel worried about it.

Gundham blinks up at the other, scrunching his nose. The thought hadn't occurred to him in those words at all, and so he takes a quiet moment to think about it. Too needy for what? For Gundham's tastes, right now? No. For others' expectations of him? Maybe, maybe not. For normalcy? Definitely. "...In what way?"

Kazuichi frowns, pressing himself against Gundham's jaw. "I just want to make sure you're enjoying this." He mumbles as he kisses his neck gently. "I...haven't really kissed anyone other than you so I can't tell very well. I just want to...make sure it's not too bad that I want to be kissing and touching like– all the time."

Gundham lifts his chin - the breath on his neck is nice, given how naked it feels without his scarf. "I, ah. Have not indulged in such worldly delights, either. Never felt the desire." That's a big fat fucking lie, he was a teenager once, but there's no need to say all that. "So far you have been satisfying...?" Obviously. He bends his knees a bit to bump Kazuichi's bottom, coaxing him up a little higher. "To be in close contact with one wearing human skin is not an experience I've had at length. My strength could be slowly waning - if the head of the monster rears, it will be dealt with. Swiftly." He hums and tilts his head a little further, pressing into the hands in his hair. "If you'd like to gauge my interest organically, let me use the restroom and return?"

Kazuichi finds comfort in that. He trusts that Gundham would push him away if he's being too much. He sucks in a breath, getting a few more kisses out of his system before finally nodding. "Yeah...sure." He shakily agrees, squeezing his shoulders. There's a long moment between that and the two of them finally letting go. Kazuichi sits up, rubbing his heated face as he pulls himself off his hips. "Would it be okay if I turned off the light too?" He asks as he pulls off his shirt, the loss of the fabric not at all helping how hot he feels.

Gundham untangles himself and stands up, shaking out his hair. He goes to grab his scarf but hesitates and eventually decides not to, entering the bathroom and leaving the door open as he ducks out of sight. "I'd like to see what I'm doing, if possible, so the star may be extinguished only if its junior stays alight." A hand points toward the light over the bathroom counter.

"Yeah, that's okay." A downside to having no windows. It's either bright light or none at all. Kazuichi doesn't mind being able to see Gundham, it's just a bit much and he'd rather not strain his eyes very much. He waits for the bathroom light to be turned on before turning the main light off, climbing back into bed and staring at the illuminated doorway. It feels so strange, but it's not bad. He's not exactly nervous just...hot? And he wouldn't call himself desperate right now. But maybe he is? He doesn't know.

Gundham closes the door most of the way behind him, leaving just a stripe of light across the room. He leans against the bed, bending down to put both hands on the mattress, tossing the blanket aside a little so he can crawl up without kneeling on top of it. "Is it too much? Not enough?"

"I-It's fine." Kazuichi glances away, reaching up to rub Gundham's arm. No light, a little light, it doesn't matter, not really. It just feels a bit more comfortable if the light's less harsh. He scratches his arm as he comes closer, not enough to hurt, just using him to dissipate his nerves rather than his own skin. "So...can we keep kissing? Please?"

"If you'd like." Gundham teases, knowing fully well that he'd probably quite like it given the tone of his voice. He kisses him on the temple once, and then again, closer to his ear, and once more at the lobe. That's something he's seen people do, right? Probably? Whatever, he earns a shiver for his effort either way. Kazuichi’s arms wrap around his neck as their lips meet, his own hands leisurely exploring.

"Not fair..." Kazuichi says between kisses, rubbing his shoulder blades. "Everything you do feels good." It's sort of relaxing in its own way. The repetitiveness, the raw emotion, it feels simple and that helps his brain a bit. He can't quite separate the act of making out from...being physical in general yet but he can't tell if that's on purpose by his brain or if he's just a bit too horny in general.

Yet something about hearing Kazuichi's voice coming out in a low whine does it for him. Something about knowing that Kazuichi has desire for him stokes his own. Gundham runs a palm up over his chest, catching a thumb on a nipple and rubbing circles around it. "Mm…as expected," he mutters between kisses, sucking on his upper lip, "did I not warn you?"

Kazuichi whimpers, not as loud as he could be yet, but less ashamed about being vocal compared to yesterday. "Fine...! I completely b-believe you've...cursed me or...literally anything..." Thinking about that doesn't help either. Gundham's very existence supernaturally turning his brain to mush? Yeah, that fits in perfectly with his set of kinks. "Y-You could say you can...bend my soul to your will at this point and I'd believe you..." 

Gundham continues to massage him for a moment as he listens. Soaks it all in - the sound of his frustrations especially draws his attention, and very actively he wonders what he could do to get more of them. "I think I already have. You spent much time just the night before this executing my will, didn't you?" Praising him, yes, but also comforting him. Something Gundham's more thankful for now than he had been in the moment, honestly. "Would you like me to do it again?"

"Yes...!" Kazuichi feels like he says it a bit too loud, a bit too quickly, his eyes shutting as he squirms for a moment. He doesn't want to make himself view that moment in that way but...damn it he totally would willingly call this guy whatever damn title he wanted. Knowing how pathetic he really is only serves to increase the conflicting feelings in his voice.

"Good." Something inside Gundham shudders. Should he be encouraging this? Absolutely not, but it exhilarates him. How he's steadily making Kazuichi's voice rise. He presses the rough tip of his thumb into the nipple he's been playing with and then drops the hand to the hip below, rubbing there instead, feeling his hip bones through his skin, feeling what's tight and what's soft. The dark pink hue on his face that’s just for him to see is… "Good. Then, my underling, go forth - remind me why I should give you my touch at all?" Okay, it does feel weird, but Gundham's...not quite sure how.

Kazuichi’s teeth grit, hands falling back to grab the pillow below as his hips squirm. "Please, Gundham, please ." He finds it in his brain to respect his wish to only be referred to by his name, at least for now, but in his mind he's calling him everything he can think of. He's a bastard, he's his lord, he's incredibly sexy but fuck he's being such a painful tease right now. "I'm good, so good. I won't disappoint you, I promise! Please don't stop." It feels so good but fuck is it still weird hearing himself beg so intensely. He's no stranger to being a bit desperate, but not quite to this point.

Gundham can't help but give his own low groan with how often the beggings drip from his mouth. He's hard for sure but he neglects himself for now, sits out of the way of the light so he can pull his fingers into the front of Kazuichi's boxers and thread him through. Though, he immediately comes to the quick sobering realization that he's not only put his hands on him, but dug through his clothing without…well, it's sort of having asked, isn't it? With the begging and all. But it still doesn't feel right. All this feels slightly off. (He does steal a glance down, though. He wouldn't mind becoming more acquainted with his cock, it seems like an alright fellow.)

"I understand we are engaging in fantasy," he says, finally, after a short but noticeable pause of silence and stillness, "but you would not say something untrue, would you? This is fine?"

It takes everything in him to not immediately groan in frustration and just get himself off. No, you god damn idiot, I'm hard for a reason! But Kazuichi can't bring those words out of his mouth. Not in response to a genuine question. "No," he confirms, forcing himself to look up at Gundham. "I-It's based in truth...Gundham, I don't know if I've ever felt more turned on. It's more than fine...!" His voice fades into a groan, turning his head to hide in his own arm as he tries not to squirm too much. "I-I like this...a lot. I want you to touch me...and say whatever the hell you want."

...Right.

Gundham puts one hand on either of Kazuichi's thighs and holds them down, helping a bit with the squirming problem. "Tell me if I ask too much of you." He says, sternly, and then, using the same tone of voice, but with a tad more levity. "Unless it is in my asking you to partake a little longer. I think you can do that: hold on a little while. Don't you?"

Kazuichi makes a noise of relief, biting his own arm.  "Y-Yes...Gundham..." He knows it's rather excessive of him to be panting and squirming like this from what is actually rather minor foreplay, but he likes to think that's just his brain being overzealous about being given anything remotely close to this at all. He's not starved for attention or just some breed of hypersexual. Not him, never, he's just having the experience of being a horny teenage boy again that's all! Because fuck he'd try to edge himself until lunch if that's what Gundham wanted.

And the more Gundham sees, the more interested he is. It's really not a show, is it? Kazuichi’s really feeling the heat and Gundham can tell, watching his dick throb a little while he relents to him. How nice. Honestly...he needs this, he decides. A little bit of power. He deserves it. Of course he does. He's here now because of his own determination, he's only lying with Kazuichi because he's tended to and developed a body and personality worthy of the machine. He feels very...proud of himself, in a way. "And you'll keep talking for me, won't you? Bleating like a sacrificial lamb while I prepare you." He touches just one pad of a forefinger to the underside of Kazuichi's dick and drags it up to his head and back down to where his base disappears into his boxers.

Kazuichi's breath hitches. The analogy is hot, the touch is subtle and leaves him wishing for something more. "Yeah- yes. I-I can keep talking if you want me to!" Actually, he's not sure if he can or if it's really a good idea to speak with zero filter. Just spouting out whatever nonsense enters his mind the second it comes is bound to leave him embarrassed later but...it's good. Embracing the moment, not daring to think too hard. That's what he wants. He wants to fully wrap himself up in the fantasy and see where the possibility takes him. "I'll whine and beg and praise you until you tire of my voice...!"

Gundham chuckles a little, pulling a finger around him and gives him a light stroke, and another. He finds himself sort of glad that out of all the people he could be doing this with, it's Kazuichi. Partially because he really doesn't feel any embarrassment himself, neither on his own or on the other's behalf, not really, and partially because…well. Sure, he had more than a couple of years there that were pretty empty of most social activity. At least he knows mostly what to do with a penis. "I think you'll sooner wear it out, but we can see which comes first. Feed my arcane knowledge with your preferences, and I'll reward you, and when you can handle no more, I will reward you again."

Preferences? Where does he even start with that one? Kazuichi laughs to himself, setting aside some of the embarrassment at the fact he even has that thought in the first place. "That depends...you trying to be nice to me or not?" Because, truthfully, if Gundham wanted to be mean he had a whole list of things he's 95% sure would be the hottest thing he's ever experienced. Being a bit softer...well there's a couple of things, but he can't say he's thought about it nearly as much.

"Do you want me to be? Think about it very carefully."

"I'm asking you ." Kazuichi reaches out, taking Gundham's face in his hands. "I know I wouldn't mind you playing yourself up a bit or doing whatever feels right…but it's up to whether or not you want to bite me in places only you get to see."

"You act as if it is in my blood to be 'nice'." Gundham grumbles, letting go of him to lean against his thigh again instead. He does get what Kazuichi means, though, and he thinks about it earnestly. Does he want to be nice? It's become easier for him recently, at least in regards to the man underneath him. Or, he thinks it has. He's still not sure how to make a judgment call on the actions he's carried out, and the idea of needing to appraise each thing before he does or says for appropriateness and kindness makes his heartbeat steady and the blood to quit rushing in his ears. It isn't bad. It's just a very different feeling than some of the things he's been thinking of recently. And not so recently, too. From the moment Kazuichi had pulled a hand around his hip from behind and pressed his grease-smeared chest against his back and teased him in that stupid smug tone. There's plenty he wants to say. There's plenty he wants to do. And each one of them has him remembering the only glimmers of odd pleasure throughout the entire ordeal that he can. "Odd as it sounds, I'd rather not offend you if it would be detrimental to our-" What? ...Friendship? Acquaintanceship? Nonspecific relation? He waves a hand idly as if to fill the spot for the word in with the vague notion instead of actually committing to saying anything.

"You wouldn't offend me." Kazuichi assures him, letting his hands fall to rest on his knees. "Calling me a bitch while making out with me and calling me a bitch literally any other time are different." Maybe Gundham doesn't understand that, or maybe he does, but there's not really a way he can explain how it's different if that's the case. He pats him, giving him a smile. "It's up to you. I'm not going to be upset if you want to be more gentle. If you're having fun then I'm having fun."

"Obviously. But you're..." Gundham frowns to himself trying to find the right term, "volatile?" He's pretty sure that counts as 'calling him a bitch any other time', but he's being honest in the interest of moving the conversation forward, so surely Kazuichi will understand that. "I will be placing some faith in you."

"I promise to be honest if I'm not enjoying it, okay? And you'll do the same. I'd feel really shitty if it turned out you weren't and you didn't tell me."

Gundham takes a deep breath and nods. It’ll be just fine. "Alright. Then tell me, truly, do you want me to be soft on you? Or do you want me to treat you like you deserve?"

Kazuichi squeezes Gundham's knees, gently as one last reassurance, as he feels his own tingle. His smile grows wider, biting his lip for just a moment as he lets the question wash over him. "I want to be treated exactly as I deserve."

In that case…Gundham gives him a tight-lipped smile before he gets started in earnest - sits up on his knees and grabs Kazuichi's hips and pulls him forward until his bottom is in his lap."A redeeming quality, the ability to know your place. Or maybe you don't know what's to come...pitiable."

Kazuichi lets his arms fall to either side of his head. Oh how absolutely delightful. "Isn't it better if I don't know?" He hums, his feet  crossing behind him. "Then I'm far more impacted by whatever you decide to give."

Gundham's been through this before. He wants to pull out a spiel that Nagito would be proud of about the intricacies of how best to release all of the toxic buildup, but - the thought itself makes him scrunch his nose and frown. Stay focused. Stay focused. Or rather, lose focus, perhaps? Gundham hums quietly, pulling his fingers up Kazuichi's sides and then dragging his blunt nails down until he meets underwear and then going back up, leaning forward just enough that Kazuichi's erection is stuffed up against his stomach, each purposeful breath Gundham takes felt as his own is nudging at Kazuichi's tailbone. "Mmhm. Indeed there are infinite  unfathomable infinities, aren't there...good thing it doesn't matter which is more cruel or impactful. Good thing the real fact of the matter is that your suffering is for me, and what it is you think won't change the outcome."

Kazuichi sighs, shaky and absolutely ecstatic. He'd never really considered that Gundham would be...an utterly perfect example of his little degradation kink if he simply played into it. It's about as perfect as he had ever dreamed. "Absolutely..." He doesn't move, but he certainly twitches, a hum in his throat as he relaxes into the bed. Perhaps it's not a good thing he's so excited by the idea of being torn apart, even just emotionally, but it doesn't matter. It's too enticing and he's wanted this for far too long to turn down the opportunity. For what, the sake of his mental state? As if he cares about that over this. " All for you...I'll accept it graciously."

"You can try. I'd like to watch you try to keep a brave face. You're not very good at it." Gundham teases, raking his nails over the insides of his thighs now, just experimenting with what parts of Kazuichi he likes to touch, and which ones get him reactions. The hair on the insides of his legs feels good to comb through. "So many times I've watched you panic and cry, and for what? To be an annoyance? 'Gracious'. You'll have to try harder than that."

His spine shivers. Gundham can feel how Kazuichi flexes his feet to avoid moving the rest of his leg too much. It's not a lot of touch, but it's just enough to keep him interested to some degree. "I know that," confidence in his voice wanes but the pure excitement in his expression doesn't. "I just mean I'll try to be– good."

Really ? He's allowed to say that? For a second, Gundham feels a little bad - bad that he's said something that he means, and to see it being taken as play, but on a second pass… It's less annoying, isn't it, and more distressing? It makes him feel bad when he sees Kazuichi lose his cool. It's not anger, even though it may appear to manifest that way, which makes it suddenly much easier to play in that space. Makes it easier to put passion behind it. He pulls a palm up Kazuichi's shaft still stuck between them and gives him a squeeze. It's all a little dry. Despite Kazuichi shuddering beneath him and practically begging with his body for touch, it can't be especially satisfying to receive. "Maybe it'd please me to release your torrent of pain upon my sheets. It's so early, how quickly would your ample tears dry up and leave you sobbing dry?"

His free hand makes its way back up his chest and then over his neck - he smooths his fingers over the bruise on his neck, and then the heel of his palm, and then his thumb. Kazuichi grits his teeth, a small whimper of pain escaping. It's not bad but it's not nearly enough. "I-If it would please you..." He shudders, his head leaning back to give Gundham's hand more room.  "Then do your worst."

Gundham thumbs the bruise, hard. Why does that sound make him bristle? Make his dick jump? It's pain, obviously, but it sounds so much like raw strangled pleasure that it makes his own jaw fall open and he gasps softly. Fingers that had just been wrapped around Kazuichi's cock crawl up to meet his bottom lip. He wants in, and he wants it now. "If it'd please me, if it'd please me - you'd like to see me pleased? Quit pretending." He uses the same feeling , finds something on the man in front of him that makes him feel something especially strong and he voices it. It's dramatised. He's not thinking about what the emotion he's expressing is but it’s channeled into mockery. He doesn't think about it, just lets it happen. "Putting on this facade. You don't think I know that you're making fun? You think I wouldn't equally enjoy hearing you really, truly express your sorrow?"

Kazuichi’s eyes narrow but before he can say anything, Gundham hooks his thumb into his cheek like a fishhook and tugs on him, forcing him to look at him again. Hearing Gundham speak like that would stab him normally, but along with the closeness and the pain, he can only whine. His teeth quiver, grazing his thumb as he looks up at him. He does somewhat wonder if his reaction really is cause for concern, but the thought is gone as quickly as it came, small stings of pain keeping his attention in the moment. "I'm not..." His voice is quieter, somewhat distorted by the thumb but understandable nonetheless. Kazuichi sounds as if he's genuinely upset, but the rest of him tells a very different story. "I-I do think you would...'m...not making fun of you."

Gundham catches his eyes for a silent beat. He's never been an especially good actor, not in the face - unfortunately, or perhaps he would have been more well-liked - and so the words unsaid between them hang, obvious in his eyes. Not so much an apologetic look, but a focused one. Letting him know that he's paying very close attention. He's aware of the situation. He looks down between them. He looks back up at Kazuichi's face. "You're pathetic. Cowardly. Can't form a sentence." He doesn't need him to speak any longer, he decides, spreading his thumb over Kazuichi's tongue until it pops out the other side of his mouth, being replaced by Gundham's middle and forefingers. "If you bite, you will be incentivized to cease. Have you got that?"

He stares for a moment. Kazuichi can feel himself twitch, like a spark has been shot through his entire lower half. Fuck... fuck , those are words he's heard Gundham actually use before yet right now they make him feel small in such a good way. He can't agree more, he can imagine how pathetic he looks and it makes him want to hear it again. Kazuichi's teeth rest on top of Gundham's fingers and he makes a pained noise of acknowledgement. He wants to bite, and it's so unfair that he can't. While a small part of him is curious to know what his incentive would be, he has no intention to be a pain right now. So instead he satisfies his brain a little by sucking on his fingers instead. It's not quite the same, but it puts his focus on doing something other than biting.

He likes that, does he? Gundham finds himself suddenly overwhelmed, hot, his stomach tightening as the erection pressed to his stomach flexes with need. He makes a little noise of disgust and sneers, looking down again. "Don't soil me, wench." He mutters, his attention trailing back to Kazuichi's mouth. A flicker of a smile graces Gundham's face. "...but you are good for something." He presses his fingers in further, slowly, until the crook of his second knuckle rests right on the edge of Kazuichi's bottom row of teeth. He spreads them so Kazuichi will have to choose a direction for his tongue to go, which finger he wants to pay attention to. It also has the very nice side effect of making it impossible for him to seal his lips around them, which means it won't be long until he's drooling. "You are the master of your own fate, insignificant one. You will not be saved, but the method of deliverance unto me can be altered. I will be using these on you. If you keep them wet, I'm sure your member would be much more pleased that way."

Kazuichi whimpers, his eyelids fluttering as he pushes his tongue between the fingers. It's not nearly as soothing, but it is a lot more challenging and therefore interesting. Nudging Gundham's finger with his tongue to coat it one at a time consumes far more of his brain power than just sucking but that fact makes him shiver. A simple exercise of control he doesn't want to end just yet. The promise has his hips squirming, another weak noise escapes him as he holds onto the pillow again. He'd almost forgotten how much he's aching, waiting for stimulation.

For now, all he gets is Gundham's heavy, steady, and very purposeful breath rolling his flat stomach over his dick.

"You're like a faucet. Repugnant." He wipes a line of drool starting at the corner of his mouth with his thumb. "Wasting all this...don't you wish for release? Do you?" As if Kazuichi has the ability to answer - and just in case he were to find it somewhere in him to vocalize clearly, Gundham's fingers spread again. A ring finger joins them, his middle tucked to one side to keep from gagging him. As much as he'd like to, that's probably something he'd need to genuinely ask first. 

And for a second, Kazuichi doesn't really know what to do, the third finger complicating the position even more. The fact Gundham's doing this on purpose despite there being a much easier way for the both of them earns him a rather loud and pathetic moan. Of course he wants to say, he wants to sink to his knees and get himself (or perhaps both of them) off, but he can't. His hips continue to squirm, trying to take advantage of the small amount of contact he's getting but it's just not enough. He keeps forgetting to swallow, not that the intrusion is making it easy for him.

After a second to make sure his ring finger gets a coating Gundham slides his hand from Kazuichi's mouth. It's dim enough he can't see well the results of his actions, but what he does get - glistening strands of drool connecting him and the open mouth full of sharp teeth and a desperate tongue trying to follow - makes him bare his teeth. He sits up away from him to let his dick throb helplessly in the open air briefly before using his dry fingers to yank his boxers down, just enough to get the waistband around his thighs. He closes his fist, nuzzling the head of Kazuichi's dick with the spiral made by his loosely curled fingers and lowering, pushing Kazuichi into his slicked hand. "Stay. Still."

The order earns him a whine that sends electricity down Gundham’s spine, Kazuichi planting his feet on the mattress to try and force himself to be still. He's breathing hard and heavy, the hand around him making it so much harder to listen. Look at him. Look at him. Gundham strokes him slowly, squeezing him at the base and working the pressure up and then back down. "You look like a mess and a harlot. I can't fucking stand you." He normally doesn't use such a tone, but there's something white hot and building inside him like hatred. He jerks him a little harder, a pace and strength of grip comparable to how he handles himself. "I've foreseen this for so long. Your torture at my hand. You feel so ashamed, do you? You'll feel yet more when I make you scream. "

Kazuichi grits his teeth, turning his head into the pillow as he grabs his own hip to try and convince himself not to move. It's not fair, he can't talk like that it turns that into such an impossible order! He’s going to burn the sound of Gundham swearing into his brain and store it away special for later. He does let out a moan through his teeth, his drool already pooling on the pillow. He didn't even last a minute before his hips rolled once more. Not now, not in this position when he's being told things that make him so heated. And he very nearly apologizes prematurely but he can't get the words out. Part of him worried they'll sound far too desperate.

Gundham scoffs aloud, pulling his hand off of Kazuichi with a slick sound. "Would you like that? Would it please you? " He snarls - he had no idea he could be like this, honestly, and for a moment it's concerning, he's afraid, but it feels right. It feels good, it's sick and disgusting but he can't help that he's smearing precum against Kazuichi's lower back. He is a monster, isn't he? He is all-powerful, isn't he? "For your god-king to rip forth from you such a shout that everyone knows you've just been punished? For every citizen to hear that you've laid with pure evil? That you're forever marked by the beast?" He gives a light flick to Kazuichi's still-standing erection, sending it bobbing while his dry fingers carve troughs in the other's chest as he drags them down, leaving pink streaks in their wake. It's too much, but it feels so fucking good. "That's what I want, so you've no say. I'll broadcast your pathetic efforts to all you held dear...and they'll all look on at you with pity and confusion. It won't be me that tells them. It will be you that brings the revelation to their ears."

By now, Kazuichi’s fairly certain Gundham will reach his goal and he will see him cry. He's overwhelmed in a way he's only dreamed about before, his hips trying to entice his hand to return as he whimpers in a desperate and needy apology. He can feel his skin burning but it's only second to how loud every word is in his mind. They're cruel but they have his entire being melting. He'd love to be heard, he'd love for Gundham to do something that made it so obvious they'd done this. The only thing he can think about is that desperate crawl towards having more and a desire to make the other pleased that he's fairly certain he'd spout whatever nonsense Gundham told him to to whoever would listen if that was an option right now. " Yes, Gundham, please! " He's finally able to say. It's breathy and loud, forcibly muffled by the pillow he presses against his face. Kazuichi's trying to be mindful of the not exactly sound proof walls and hamsters a few feet away but he really does want to scream. "All of it, all of it please! " He bites the pillow, trying to calm himself by forcing air through his nose.

Gundham leans down with a loud moan and connects his mouth to Kazuichi's chest. The red marks he'd carved into him are hot under his lips. He'd already sucked a light hickey into his sternum before, but now he goes harder, sucking and pressing his tongue hard against the skin to force it against his blunt teeth. "You're such a mess." He says, slurred against Kazuichi's chest, finally coming back to his neglected dick to give it a few more strokes and then backing off. "You're ruining my bed." He waits a moment, moving to the next spot, and then strokes him a few more times, and stops. "...give me what I want." All until he's put four pink ovals creeping ever closer to a nipple, when he finally pulls his own hips back. Kazuichi is laid flat out on the bed as Gundham sits up over him and starts to jerk himself off, instead.

Kazuichi’s eyes are so unfocused. The lack of contacts might be making it worse, but he can't get himself to look at anything properly. Is this what it feels like to be edged? It's like he's floating in a state of desperation. He can't stop whimpering, the pillow soaked with more and more saliva as his other hand pulls at the sheets. He nods desperately, closing his eyes as he grinds against nothing. "Y-Yeah, yes, yes, I'll give it to you, anything, I promise, just tell me...!"

"Pig." Gundham grumbles, watching the wet spot on the pillow grow and the drool sheen on his face glitter. He gives him no attention. Whether the drops that are meeting Kazuichi's balls, thighs and stomach are precum or leftover spit slick is impossible to tell with as quickly as Gundham is stroking himself. He drops his chin to his chest and hisses. "Cry about it." It's both a command and a mock. "Cry about it or I'll fucking make you."

Kazuichi bites his lip harder, thrashing his head from one side to the other. Why does he have to make what should be the bad option sound so damn appealing? "Please...please please..." He whines, repeating the plea over and over to try and force out his tears. "Touch me...inside me...I don't care, please! I need it..."

Gundham drops himself. Of course, there's no way he could actually get inside him right now, but the idea is so tempting that he goes through the motions anyway, ripping Kazuichi's boxers down until they're around his ankles, scooting into the space between his legs, gripping his hips tightly, and pressing himself still slightly sticky and wet between Kazuichi's thigh and his balls and rutting into him, over and over again. He relishes the way he rocks with him and the motion, the way the cheap bed creaks in protest. "What have you done to deserve it? There's only one correct answer."

Kazuichi moans, loud, taking full advantage of their closeness. It's good, it feels so good. His rhythm is stuttered and not really even, but it's not very important right now whether or not his hips are very controlled. "One?" His back arches as he whines. He can't think right now, how's he meant to know what Gundham wants him to say. "W-What if I answer wrong?"

Gundham lets him get sloppy. He'll be corrected soon enough. "I use your worthless vessel as a tissue."

Kazuichi turns his head, pulling the pillow up to shove his face in it. The sound that leaves him is a pained one, his hips moving as if he's scared it'll be his last chance at friction. His brain isn't working. He can't think of anything that would be right. He presses his palms against his eyes. "I don't know...!" They can both hear how his voice is a little higher, how it's desperate and a little strained. "I-I don't deserve it...but please don't take it away from me. Please , Gundham."

There it is .

He wants the whole fucking complex to hear them. Gundham groans and tosses his head back, only needing to help himself along a little bit with his hand before he's cumming with a growl all over Kazuichi's stomach. It's somehow even more explosive than the time before, the results marking the other all the way up to his chest and collarbone. "You don't. " He hisses, jamming his hips hard in rhythm with his spurts. "You don't deserve it. But I'll give it anyway." As he starts to come down and the tunnel vision starts to open back up, Gundham pants, draws a wet tongue over his own palm, and starts working Kazuichi in the same desperate manner.

" I don't deserve it... " Kazuichi repeats a few times, mostly to himself. When his hands fall away from his face, his lashes are wet, his body shaking. His brain and his emotions are all jumbled up, he can't tell what anything is anymore. All he knows is Gundham's right...about everything. He wants so badly to make him happy and he feels so far beneath him at that moment. His breath is strained, letting out a noise of raw overwhelmed pleasure as a tear slips down his cheek. Kazuichi's fairly certain he can be heard but he doesn't even register it in that moment. "Th-Thank you...thank you...thank you...!" He pants and whines as he's finally allowed his release, pouring out onto Gundham's hand once more, going rather still aside from his shaky breath the second after.

It takes Gundham a second to get over the dizziness that still clings to him. His head is fuzzy, his body feels so light he could believe he has left it entirely. Even having just orgasmed, he can feel his guts twist painfully at the wet face he's staring down into and the hot cum spilling into his palm. He works Kazuichi through it, slowing, slowing, until he starts to soften, and then just holds him for a second, looking him over. His first thought is that he's not sure he's ever had an experience quite like that before. His second is that Kazuichi probably desperately needs a bottle of water.

He releases Kazuichi's dick and holds his slimy hand out from the bedspread. He'd wipe it on Kazuichi, but that seems...rude, somehow. He sits on his feet, a little wobbly, and uses his cleaner hand to rub the inside of Kazuichi's thigh. Up and down, slowly, in a vaguely circular motion. He's not going anywhere, not for now. "...Faring well?"

Kazuichi stares blankly at the ceiling for a long while. His throat hurts. He swallows, slowly covering his face with his arms. The one downside of not having full on intercourse is he has to wait for clean up before anything else. "O-Okay..." His voice shakes. He wants to sob out all of his emotions. "Just...clean up? F-Fast, please..."

Gundham's nerves spike, but he nods and stands to execute his new task. He stumbles a little in the dark on his way to the bathroom, and is nearly blinded by stepping into the fluorescent light in there. He washes his hands, wets a hand towel, and takes a dry body one slung over his shoulder back into the main room, bumbling now that his eyes have yet to readjust to the darkness. He leans over the bed, warm hand towel at the ready and starting at the top and working down - touching it to his cheek first and wiping away the drying drool before he goes for his collar, wiping delicately over beads of cum and swiping gently across little sickly bruises forming.

Kazuichi tries to get a hold of himself, but he doesn't feel fully there just yet. His brain is stuck between the horny blankness and full comprehension. He holds his arms out to Gundham, grabbing at him to try and get him to lay down again. The second he does, Kazuichi curls up into his arms holding onto him and letting out a nearly silent sob. Gundham, his lord, his everything, he's right here being nice and hugging him. He's okay and he did well. Kazuichi holds him tight, a few minutes passing before he's completely calmed down, taking deep breaths as he holds him close. Admittedly, not the first time he's cried after getting off but certainly the first time with someone else there. It feels better. He leans up, kissing Gundham's jaw gently. "...you did a good job."

"Me? You," Gundham breathes, going out of his way to use a slightly more respectful term and tone as he gently rubs circles on his back, " heavenly. Otherworldly."

Kazuichi laughs. "Really? You had that much fun?" Honestly, that makes him glad. He’s glad he doesn't have to explain away the crying too, wiping his face as he steadies himself once more. "...I'm happy. Overwhelmed but...good." He does feel good. He feels relaxed and fulfilled, stretching his legs without getting up. Just needs to make sure he doesn't let himself fall asleep this time.

"It's good to hear you make joyous sound." There’s a small smile on Gundham’s face, kissing his forehead and his hairline. He agrees with him on just about all of it. Overwhelmed is right. He can hardly think straight still, and he has the unmistakable pain in his stomach of overflowing nerves. "I..." He...what? He'll have to repent for what he's done and thought sometime. He's just...still unsure of what befits the crime, and if the idea makes him desperately uncomfortable or if it intrigues him. "I don't think there are words of the human tongue to explain what it is I have done."

Kazuichi just kisses his cheek, a long and gentle one. "Don't worry about it." He says. "I liked it. That's all that matters." In hindsight, maybe a little meaner than it should have been for their first go around, but Kazuichi is nothing if not a degenerate so he didn't mind at all. Hell, he probably could've gotten away with a bit more pain. Either way, he doesn't want Gundham walking away regretting it. "I liked it. I liked every second." He assures him, slowly laying kisses over his skin in every direction he could reach. "I'm really happy right now."

Gundham sticks out his tongue, but absorbs the reassurance anyway - it's hard not to accept it when there are lips all over him, and Kazuichi's voice is uncharacteristically soft, gentle against him. A little calmer, he ventures again. "Have you done this before?"

Kazuichi scoffs. "As if." He can't even think what might've given him an idea like that. "There used to be people interested in me but I uh...never went for it. So I can't compare you to anyone if that's what you're worried about."

"Worried about my performance? Not so much. More so concerned your inexperience endears you to the wrong sort of attention, perhaps."

He frowns, wrapping his arms around Gundham's neck. "And what's that supposed to mean? Better not be trying to kink shame me."

"What?" His eye twitches. "That has nothing to do with it. I just–" he pulls in a breath, "I exercised no power that was not mine to begin with," he admits, "or any that I hadn't desired before. Channeling it with certainty like that was. Odd."

Kazuichi pauses, eventually just shrugging. "I don't know, I'm not a psychologist." He would much rather not think too deeply about it. Did it really matter if it was used as an outlet for real frustration? Did it really mean anything if he could totally spin a very real argument into something hot in his mind? People did those things all the time! He does smile up at him though. "Worried you were too mean or are you just discovering things about yourself?"

Gundham grumbles, and then, very quietly, as if he can say it low enough that it stops being an admission at all: "Both."

"Well, I don't think you were too mean." He hums, leaning closer until their noses brush against each other. "Perhaps your sexiest show so far."

Despite how mean he professes to feel, Gundham nuzzles their noses together affectionately and catches his lips in a light kiss. He likes this. He didn't think he would. But if he were truly wrong about things, and he was meant to do this, have some connection, then why does he also still feel exhilarated in isolation? Somewhere in the dim light a hamster strays out to get a drink of water now that everything's calmed down. Gundham sighs. "This place could do with a wider employment of servantry. You should drink something."

"Awh, but that means I have to get up." He complains, letting go of him and flopping back down on the bed. Gundham's right, he should drink something. His throat hasn't been completely cured from all the panting and the few minutes of crying so it feels a little dry...but that'll fix itself eventually! Kazuichi groans, pulling himself up so he can sit, glancing over towards the bathroom. "I don't even know if the bathroom water is potable...you're mostly water, can't you just hydrate me? Or create some with dark magic?"

"I drank it while I was ill." Gundham shrugs, although that doesn't necessarily vouch for it in any significant way. Huh, that wasn't that long ago, was it? Odd how quickly his body can recover when he's not shoving more toxins into it on a daily basis. "The nectar I create would be no more readily ingestible to you than seawater!"

Kazuichi groans, pulling himself out of the bed. "Fine..." His body feels weird, after all it's only the second time he's stood up that day and his knees were jelly not too long ago, but he can at the very least walk in a straight line. He's glad for the bathroom light being on though, it means his eyes don't need to adjust to them quite as much and he can easily get himself a drink (neglecting the use of a cup).

He does take a moment to look in the mirror though. His features are a lot less red than he's certain they were five minutes ago, except for the line of marks on his torso. Kazuichi traces one of them. He doesn't even notice how much their mere existence makes him smile.

Chapter Text

Gundham perches himself on the bed nearest to the hamster cage and gives a survey. Maybe it's weird, but he doesn't care all that much - just finds which hamster is out and about and mumbles to Mononoke quietly, nonsensically, while she prepares herself to go back to sleep. Jealous. Well. He ought to find something to fill his time with that isn't despairing over his wilting friendships.

"There. I drank. Happy now?" He looks over his shoulder as Kazuichi speaks, watching him climb back in the bed and cover his nakedness with a pillow. There's a good distance between them, but perhaps that's for the best, lest he be even more tempted to doze for hours.

"Sated, sure. I am no longer your adversary, you know. If I were, I would have taken the opportunity to slay you by now."

"I know..." If sitting here together naked wasn't enough proof of that then the way he blushed remembering the word consort certainly would be. Kazuichi was just...abrasive with everyone. Not because he wanted to be mean but it was just such an ingrained part of his personality and communication style. Kazuichi moves closer, leaning over to lay his head on Gundham's shoulder. "You wouldn't stab a guy in the back." He seems like the kind of guy who values honesty so he probably wouldn't fight dirty like that. God he hopes not, he is not going to have sex with someone whose only goal is to break his heart.

Gundham sighs and sits quietly for a moment - considers if it's worth angsting over - and decides no, not especially. He'd thought about it enough: he's pretty fucking confident that he's probably on the okay-er side of killers, at least when it comes to humans and their ilk. Animals, he's not sure he can fully atone for. No, he's tossing that thought, too. He won't be trying to think that through today, either. "You're correct," he confirms, "it is one of my core tenets. I may conduct my research in the shadows, but I welcome holy judgment on my actions in the end."

Kazuichi hums, staring at Gundham's arm for a moment. He doesn't fully absorb whatever he's saying, eventually turning his head and gently biting his shoulder. ...that's better. He'd been thinking about that for much longer than he thought he had. Kazuichi gnaws on him just a bit before pulling back, wiping away the saliva. He coughs slightly, weirded out by his own actions as he wraps his arms around him instead. "Uh...so are we hanging out all day?"

Gundham stares at him with an uncharacteristic startle. "...Excessive chewing on non-prey objects can be a symptom of a very dark shadow upon the soul indeed." He pauses a moment, "Or I guess you could just be bored." He raises a hand to touch Kazuichi's chin with a finger like he would a dog, scratching him there in the same manner.

"...I dunno, I just want to bite you." Kazuichi mumbles. Animals have nothing to do with that urge...but he does hum at the small scratches leaning his body closer as he tilts his head up.

"You would rather I not diagnose? Even when it's in my field of expertise?" He adds a couple fingers, scratching the underside of Kazuichi's chin with a little smile that starts sweet and warm, but quickly becomes smug. "However, if we were to ‘hang out’, you would obtain knowledge impossible to be relieved of the burden of forever more..." He doesn't say it as if he doesn't like the idea, though.

"Yeah?" Kazuichi asks as he tries not to relax an awful lot into Gundham's hand. Failing miserably though. "Like what? How you do your eyeliner?"

"Hah. Fuhahahahaha! You wish! My bathroom has a choke point of entry. I could keep you out if I so needed. I would not let you harm yourself by staring so blatantly onto the blinding light of creation! You're lucky you see the face of God bared as it is now."

Kazuichi's wonderful mood from being scratched slightly sours, frowning at Gundham and looking over at him. Said as if he's never done his makeup for him. Instead of arguing, however, he decides to lift one hand up and trace Gundham's jawline. "I guess I am. Super lucky." He hums, teasing. "Everything natural and uncovered just for me. You do make a pretty attractive human." He squeezes him, leaning in to press against his neck. Completely out in the open for his eyes, he's gotten used to it by now but it still feels like a bit of a treat.

Kazuichi may not be able to see it, but he'd be able to feel it from where he's touching his face - Gundham's smile widens. Sure, it's a tease, but he isn't going to take it like one. It feels pretty accurate to him. "...Unfortunately one of the terrible truths you will have to digest is that, ah. I may be yet still entrapped in a human's skin during this cycle of my life. Good to know you enjoy the form I've taken...as if it were not tailored to appeal to my chosen, anyway."

Kazuichi tries not to be flustered by that. The implication has his chest squeezing in a rather delightful fashion. It shouldn't. He shouldn't feel so giddy being called a husband or having exclusivity implied in their relationship but...he can't help it, he's never had that before. "Really...?" He takes the chance to grab him by the chest. "Made just for me, huh? Then what do you actually look like?"

"I take great pains to look as close to it as is possible while remaining practical." Gundham says with a shrug, leaning back slowly, testing just how much weight he can put onto Kazuichi from this position. "A bulky body with terrible, rippling loose hide, malleable, sleek-haired and strong, steps silent as a breath! Ever-bared swords even before the maw, which itself is lined with dutiful ossified soldiers! Dark as night with eyes that reflect the heaven's face on their endless expansive void!" Yeah, he's put a lot of thought into this one - he's also getting a little loud while he's excited.

"...sounds fuckable." Kazuichi squeezes him. He is not even close to being able to put all those descriptors into a coherent shape in his mind, and even if he could, he's fairly certain it would be far from what Gundham is imagining. Still, he adjusts his position to let him lean back more, kissing where he's pressed against his neck. "...have you ever drawn it? You can show me if you want."

Gundham laughs. It feels nice to do it, too. To let himself not be offended, to laugh at the absurdity of the statement. "Not lately, but I certainly have the supplies to do so." Actually, that does sound fun. They've been talking quite a bit about him drawing (or writing). He still has an experiment to finish first though, putting more weight onto him slowly until very suddenly he just lets himself drop.

Kazuichi braces his hand on the bed, helping support Gundham's weight with a surprised huff. It's not the greatest position for them to be in to do this with the lack of anything to support his back, but he's not going to stop him until he really can't take it. "I'd, ah, like to see it if you did..." Sure, part of him still thinks it's weird, but Kazuichi finds himself a bit endeared by the idea. What Gundham describes as himself has to be personal to some degree and hearing him be so excited has him wanting to squish him. Affectionately.

"Hmm," Gundham contemplates, now relaxing against him - he's still young, he's fine, probably. He looks up at him from where he's being held and crosses his arms over his chest. (He's impressed, honestly...) "I'm sure that you would. Release me, then, vile being, and you'll be enlightened."

Kazuichi groans, letting go and letting himself fall to the mattress. "You don't need to keep calling me vile, y'know."

"Mmgh. Is it not some small comfort?" He pats Kazuichi's thigh and sits up with a grunt. He has a few notebooks that he's half-filled with feverish notes about random textbooks he's smuggled into his room scattered around. There are two on the desk, but even closer is one on the floor, so he flops over the edge of the bed to get that one and search around for a pen to go with it.

Kazuichi sits up again when he has all the necessary tools, looking over Gundham's shoulder as he opens to a blank page and begins drawing. Truthfully, he's only mildly interested in this fantasy of his but he still watches intently. He's cute when he gets excited and Kazuichi likes the idea of understanding him a bit more. If this is how Gundham wants to communicate how he views himself, then it'll have to do. He works fast too. In no time, there’s a round head although a bit elongated in profile to show off the front teeth, separate from the rest like a rodent... Actually, all of it is very rodent-like. Little round ears and skin between the front and back arms with a short coat. Shaded in, dark, with a sort of tuxedo-like pattern including a white face and stripe down the chest...it's a somewhat monstrous rendition of a hamster, but that's most certainly what it is. Kazuichi stares at it for a moment. A smile pulls across his face as he tries not to laugh. After his talk about hating mascots and kids movies with animals, this is what he comes up with? He might've been weirded out by it at one point but now he's starting to find it endearing.

"Alright then. Tell me about this form. Why aren't you all fleshy all the time?"

"I told you. In my many iterations I have been extracted from form after form and replanted within the new vessel of another to maintain my eternal life. Though brief, this one is a favorite." Gundham glares, as if warning him not to tease. He goes in for a couple more drawings - Kazuichi is on his left side, and so he ends up elbowing him a few times on accident, but he does his best to stay conscientious. These ones are a little more...hamster-like. Mostly circles or ovals with little ears and hands and feet, but between them he also is happy to demonstrate the anatomy of a hamster's skull - or, the skull of whatever this thing is - with its massive front teeth and protrusions for muscle and skin attachments. He really has it down in detail. "Much like a flame! More effective fuel makes it burn hotter - the heat, then, consumes more fuel! The most powerful of all bodies are the small and ephemeral ones. Never have I had such true power as this..."

Kazuichi purses his lips. What a prime example of eighth-grader syndrome. Can't say it isn't nice hearing Gundham be so enthusiastic though. Plus, he's really good at drawing. "So...if this is just another body that you've been in," he points to the drawing, "are you just some spirit-like entity when not in a body or something kind of more abstract?"

Gundham thinks about this theory for a second - "When you think of a spirit you usually think of one that has departed from the anchor of a soul once in place, yes? I would describe myself differently from that." He taps his lip with the back of the pen, thoughtfully. "I was created once. This is true. But I believe that it's...a condition I do not share with any. Or, ah, many."

"Nah, when I think of a spirit, it's more of like...a supernatural entity that isn't quite as powerful as a god. They don't have to be a dead guy, just usually invisible or incorporeal. Like yokai." Though, maybe not quite, Gundham did like to think of himself as something more akin to a god. Maybe he's more like a kappa. Just less murder-y. 

"Mm," he's not normally a chewer, but something draws him to set his teeth on the pen cap, "Like yokai." It's not the worst comparison. He'll take it. Speaking of yokai, he lets his doodling stray even further from hamsterkind.

"So is you being thrown from body to body like a punishment or something?"

"No. No body is punishment to be in," as much as he doesn't care much for bugs, even being one of them would be noble in a way, "a privilege to be a part of, more like. Karma does not wait for my soul to detach to do what it likes with me." He shrugs, bumping Kazuichi's chin with his shoulder. "Maybe someday I will tire of it. But as it stands, there are still things I find worth experiencing." He turns and kisses Kazuichi's cheek, as if this is an example.

Kazuichi watches how Gundham turns back to the paper. The feeling he has keeps coming up again and again lately. He can't call it a bad feeling but..the fact he doesn't know what to do with it frustrates him. So he groans, pressing his heated face into Gundham's neck as he squeezes him far too tight. "I told you to stop being cute!!"

"I didn't think you seriously believed you could alter my behavior," Gundham grunts, one of his carefully crafted lines being sent wild and crooked across the page as Kazuichi grips him, "Nor do I know what could possibly qualify about me."

"This! All of this! It's not fair!" He rocks them both side to side rather aggressively. "Saying things and doing things! Stop making it so hard to think!"

Gundham's heard of cuteness aggression, but this seems out of hand. He snorts skeptically, "Just think about the parts of my nature that repulse you, and your fever shall be quelled. It's what I have always done."

...Kazuichi's not sure there really is anything repulsive about Gundham anymore. The things he used to think were weird are sort of endearing now and it's not like he used to hate him for any real reason. He hardly even notices the way he smells anymore. "Jerk..." he wraps his legs around him, making a noise akin to a growl as he gnaws on his shoulder again.

Oddly, as he tries to come up with examples, Gundham finds himself in a similar boat. At the very least, nothing right this minute stands out to him. If it'd been a few days ago, he would have found the touching and the biting to be nearly impossible to handle, but now that he thinks about it… "Many thanks for the sense of normalcy amidst the absurd," he says, putting a hand on each knee that comes from behind him, and then drags them down Kazuichi's shins. "Feel free to continue insulting me."

Kazuichi frowns with his eyes. He doesn't want to, is the problem. He has no reason to insult him, no desire to hurt him even for petty reasons. He can't bring himself to think ill of him and he's not sure what to do with that mix of feelings. His legs squeeze him under the touch, slowly pulling back to stare at his teeth marks (there's a small desire inside to lick at them and it makes him seriously wonder if Gundham has infected his brain). "...I can't. You're being too nice." He huffs as he lays his forehead on his shoulder.

"Now you're starting to concern me." Gundham's not as good at drawing people, so he doesn't try. But he does start playing around with making little fish-shaped blobs, all filled with sharp scribble-teeth.

"...maybe if you start with telling me why I want to keep biting you, it'll help us both." He mumbles, idly scratching his chest.

"I'm supposed to identify your feelings? You jest."

"You said you were an expert! Didn't you want to diagnose at least that bit?"

"I know of patterns in human behavior and how to predict them. When a human is unpredictable, I can no longer diagnose." ...But he has been toying with a concept. He puts the pen down and turns to look in his direction, though Kazuichi is a little too close for it to be effective. "And you're human, yes?"

He moves so they can at least see each other's face. "I...think so." Kazuichi knows the answer is yes but...he can't help but wonder how he'd feel if Gundham thought of him as something else. He looks away, shrugging. "What do you think I am?"

"I don't know," Gundham says, quiet and suddenly a little short, "I keep thinking I do. But I don't."

Somehow, even that answer has him smiling. "Stumping an overlord." He almost feels proud of himself. "...I wouldn't mind hearing your guesses though."

"Ugh - some sort of parasite," is his first one - he pushes on the knee. It's mostly playful, but he's also happy to annoy him if it so happens to work. "Maybe you're just a human. You could hold a singularity, maybe. You're certainly not enlightened, this I know, but that's not a requirement to obtain one. It could have been dumb luck. I once thought you were some sort of machine." But he's too soft for that, especially now that Gundham has experienced it thoroughly, "If you're an elemental, you've been raised to mimic humans in nearly every way."

The fact that his answers are all sort of boring makes Kazuichi laugh. He's not sure what he'd been expecting but he's a bit disappointed by it which amuses him in it's absurdity. "So would the best outcome be that it turns out I was just a normal human all along?"

"Ah, gross!" It's a childish word choice, but Gundham doesn't seem to notice the tonal difference, as it certainly doesn't fluster him as much as the whole idea itself. "To have made love to an average human would be akin to a human having relations with an animal. Disgusting. No."

The idea of what they'd done being considered making love makes his stomach flutter. Kazuichi laughs, leaning his head against Gundham's. "Okay fine, if that's how you feel...what do you want me to be?"

"...Something close to me, if I had to choose. The same sort of spirit. Or nearly. And I think that I do see it in you, on occasion. You just go to such lengths to hide it that sometimes I'm not as sure."

To be that close to Gundham...to be considered his equal and be seen as unique in his worldview. That sounds wonderful. Part of him would like to be able to have him reach that conclusion, that he is some other being… But much like Gundham, the things he once put on as an act are now part of who he is so he's not sure how 'authentic' he can truly be. "... you'll figure it out one day." He assures him...or maybe himself. "I bet someday it'll all make sense and you'll finally have an answer."

"You would have to stay with me longer than 'til the next spring season for that, I fear."

Kazuichi squeezes him, gently this time. "Then I'll stay."

There's a long silence, filled only with Gundham doing his best to breathe calmly. Eventually, he puts both hands onto Kazuichi's where they sit on his front and hugs them to his chest. I love you. I've loved you. He's going to be sick if he keeps having things like that loop in his head. Disgustingly human, terribly cliche, severely untrue, but this body craves it. Craves it like no other body can. "You say this." He mumbles a vague acknowledgement, chin to his chest and wishing for his scarf enough that he starts to shake the other off in favor of climbing out of bed and going to retrieve it from the desk chair.

Kazuichi lets him slip out of his hold, though there's a part of him hurt by having it severed in such a way. His legs cross, his hands pressing into his lap. A hug ending should not make him long for the next. "...and I mean it. I already said I'd show you the constellations...what's a few more months on top of that?" It's a promise that could easily become void through the future but he hopes it doesn't. He hopes that, even if it takes that long, this will all make sense one day.

Gundham's practiced movement places the scarf around his neck comfortably in one swift gesture. It's really the only clothing he feels truly naked without, and having it to put his face into calms him significantly. He presses the age-thinned fabric to his lower face with his palms and breathes it in. Aside from this, the two arms do a great job of genuinely hiding his more egregiously nude parts. "Reveal to me, wisp. How long is it you foresee us breathing from here out?"

"In general?" He pauses. There's always a chance that Makoto's wish won't come true. That in the coming months they'll all be executed, for real, to an end he's not entirely sure on. But...that is the worst case scenario. "If everything goes well...the rest of our natural lives."

Gundham heaves a sigh and moves back to the safe haven of his newly-shared bed, throwing himself face-down onto it. "I can't imagine you elderly."

"That's still ages away."  He argues, though...he also can't imagine himself in that state. Nor anyone else. "Why'd you ask, anyway?"

Gundham turns his face to peek out from the sheets. His cheeks are pink, though hidden deeply in the folds of his scarf. "What treasures would I need to offer to you to extend your stay in this realm of mine? You have to understand, for an eternal being, this Earth's year-and-change is a pittance of promised time to spend with you."

Kazuichi is just as flushed, though he looks far more unsure as he considers the question. He's overthinking it, he's sure he is. He needs to stop taking everything he says so personally. "I-I don't know." He rubs his arm, looking away. "You're...not doing a bad job doing that now. So..." He tries not to squirm. He tries not to seem embarrassed and tries to ignore that his first thought at the question had been so ridiculous it's not even worth mentioning. "Just keep doing all of this. Being close with me and being nice...a-and there won't be a reason not to stay."

What if we can't always be behind closed doors? What then? Gundham makes a face, but doesn't speak his mind for now. It seems too inflammatory of a question, even though it's simply honest. Besides, he's not sure he wants the answer to it, regardless. Not that he isn't quite a private person, it's just people may think him an actor, but it's not entirely true. It does wear on him to keep up his wards. Instead, he nods sharply with a soldier-like snap and keeps staring at where Kazuichi's eyes had once been but have now averted. "Alright. I believe you."

Kazuichi barely responds, instead leaning to the end of the bed to finally retrieve his underwear. He can't keep sitting there completely nude, not with how them talking makes him feel. Once he pulls them on, he lays down as well, staring back at Gundham with some distance between them. "Good. Cause it's true." Honesty and mutual care is all he really needs in a friendship. In terms of whatever his relationship with Gundham is, he'd say it's fairly similar. "...as long as you don't become an ass and you...keep holding my hand at least...I'll be here."

Gundham laughs a note, "I'll execute the request for contact any time. My behavior?" He makes a high-pitched 'thinking' noise, "Effort's being made. You've noticed this, surely, for all the consequences so far?" 

"Yeah, I don't expect you to be a jerk." They've both been making an effort. Truthfully Kazuichi had been trying long before now but...circumstances got in the way of that all. At the very least they have what they do now. "But who knows," he lays his hand between them. "There's always a chance one of us will fuck up so bad it makes everything impossible..."

Despite his overall sort of morose mood, Gundham doesn't bristle at this as hard as he maybe would normally. "Very well could be," he says, sounding weirdly chipper, putting a hand down onto the other and forcing his fingers between Kazuichi's and curling them tight. "My reign of terror makes me uniquely qualified for such a thing, and your tendency to panic also doesn't help."

Kazuichi hums, squeezing his hand just as tight. He's not wrong, which sort puts a damper on this situation. Especially given...everything else. "I'll just have to trust you then..." He stares at their hands. He may not be entirely sure on his feelings, but it's clear enough that he does think well of Gundham despite everything. He wouldn't be lying here if he didn't. And while, of course, there's an anxiety inside...maybe this one time it's okay to be a bit oblivious to it.

"Awful conundrum you're put in, here." Gundham gives him another flicker of a smile and sits up, pulling on their shared hand to get him to do the same. If they're just going to lie down, he might not survive without dozing. "In order to trust. Is there anything you need to know?"

"I'd...never really thought about it." As if it was easy to keep secrets right now. And besides, their morning was already quite the display of trust anyway. He frowns at the blanket. "I mean...is there anything you do? Maybe an example would help."

He bristles a little at having the question thrown back at him, but manages to shove most of it back down. Most. He can't help a remark, though he's fairly certain his tone is even throughout. "I could reveal to you an example of which dark knowledge of your soul I do have that grants me clarity in my movings-forward. But I think of the two of us I am far less in need of a boost."

Kazuichi’s expression sours even more as he glances up at him. How distinctly unhelpful. He has no idea what to say though. His only reason for distrusting Gundham in the past was well...Sonia, but that's not really an issue for him anymore. He doesn't seriously believe the guy will do something terrible it's just...an anxiety that sits in the back of his brain about everyone in his life. "I feel like I trust you enough already. I'd feel a lot weirder about all of this if I didn't."

"...Alright. Are there any recent declarations you'd like to rescind, then?"

"L-Like what? Dude, you're starting to worry me..."

There's a look of oddly genuine concern in Gundham's face. He has no idea how to convey the very earnest curiosity - the idea of being unable to say what he wants has him flushing, slightly, a frown forming. "...I understand that certain phrases were uttered with very specific erotic intent," he starts, delicately - or, in his head, it's delicate, anyway - "But..." He loosens his grip on Kazuichi's hand briefly, but tightens it once more, "I..." How does he say this? He clears his throat, like all of this stuttering and stopping is because of a tickle and not his ego. He can't meet Kazuichi's eyes, but he manages not to look too upset. Probably. "Whatever veil you have placed over the intents of your actions and words has done its job, verily. Of the two statements, bearing in mind the dramaticism of the former, which of...um…'I'd like for everyone to hear me and know I am yours' and 'do not linger too near when other eyes are upon us' is...ah, nearer to a true and honest commandment that you'd carve into my heart?"

"Oh..." That eases him a little. Gundham just wants clarification. Problem was, even he doesn't know which one he'd prefer. Perhaps it would be better if they kept things on the down-low. Gundham wasn't officially...well, anything yet and being public about it would force Kazuichi to label things he didn't know how to label. He also sort of liked the feeling of exclusivity, knowing that certain things were only for him to see and hear behind closed doors. But...Kazuichi is also an affectionate person. He wants to be able to touch him and kiss him in any way he sees fit regardless of the circumstance. He wants to be held close every second and– well, bluntly, he did have the biggest humiliation kink on the planet any saying they could be a bit more public could open that up a bit. He's not embarrassed to be with Gundham or anything. Is he? "I-I guess neither are bad..." Would being more public basically mean they're dating? What if everyone saw it as a bad thing? It'd be weird to publicize a relationship where you just fuck each other so they'd have to be boyfriends. Are they even— is he even ready for that? He's never dated anyone and what if Gundham hates it? What if they get too carried away, what if he hurts him? Kazuichi swallows. "Are you hoping to...be more public about it?"

Gundham doesn't bother to meter the scrunched-nose snarl that sticks onto his face. What an awkward way to phrase the situation. It makes him sort of wince. What, ask how he feels rather than just leaving it at a normal curiosity? His shoulders lift as he shoves himself into his scarf. "You misunderstand. What time it takes for reality to coalesce securely in that manner is not something the both of us can skip. I know this," he feels a need to defend himself a little, "I simply despise believing there is hypocrisy playing out before my eyes."

"W-Well there's not...!" It's not really hypocrisy. He just...can't decide which one is better. "Maybe just...I don't know..." He wouldn't mind if they were a little obvious but he wouldn't want to announce anything.

It doesn't matter, really, he shouldn't care, he's an adult! He's an adult. He's an adult...

Gundham only has one arm to himself and is unwilling to let go first, and so the way he goes to cross it looks more like a self-administered hug than a gesture to show his frustration. "To answer your question, ah, eventually. Was my intent. Yes."

Kazuichi finds himself blushing. Eventually… "Okay...yeah...I can live with that." Maybe eventually he'll have himself figured out a bit more. (Perhaps the fact that he feels anything at all about this is the only indicator he needs but...well it's different! This isn't like his other crushes! How's he meant to know what to do?)

That...comforts him a little. A lot, actually. Ostensibly, it means that he's not...or that Kazuichi thinks that at some point, he could be...not a shame to be seen with. Not that Gundham cares about that, especially. Because he doesn't need optics. If anything, being seen as a terrible beast is optimal! He...he sighs and gives a sharp nod, hand dropping into his lap where he rubs his own knee as he gives another round of short squeezes to Kazuichi's hand, peeking up at him, a little...apologetically.

Kazuichi squeezes him back as if the motion itself is a conversation between them. He'd rather not complicate all this by thinking too hard for forcing labels onto it. He can just enjoy being with him, right? It doesn't have to be anything just yet. He shuffles around so they can properly sit beside one another, his other hand hugging his legs. "I think if we worry about things too much we'll just spiral. We're in here together to enjoy ourselves so...no point dwelling on stuff right now."

Gundham leans into him the moment Kazuichi is in range, immediately setting his cheek on Kazuichi's bare shoulder and burying himself in. He's tried not to dwell, and in the past he'd succeeded! He really did. It's just been most recently that he's had his...moments. He mumbles into the skin being offered to him. "I warned you of this. Your future is filled with pain or mundanity." He kisses the apex of his shoulder.

Kazuichi rubs the back of his hand. Realistically, those are the two basic paths his life would probably take anyway, and yet— "I won't mind finding out which one it is." Obviously, he does hope there isn't pain but if it is to be so. It may be selfish, but if he can indulge in Gundham being affectionate like this for a little while, he'll take anything. "We'll find out...together..."

Gundham groans childishly as he digs himself deeper. The hand he has clasped with Kazuichi's is clammy. He feels too much. "Both, oscillating, most likely. At least in the very near times to come." Any games or other...entertainment he can think of are either entirely unfitting for their situation, or are, as he said, probably quite boring. He could stand to do some tidying, take a shower, finish the textbook he'd cracked open and left a third through a few days ago, but it's nothing he's especially interested in, nor would it be much fun to narrate, probably. "If we're to refrain from talk of our disquieting days, I'm going to clean and dress." He says that, but he doesn't exactly go anywhere, either.

Kazuichi hums, his other arm coming up to hug Gundham closer. "Yeah...that might be good. I should probably shower as well." But this is nice too. If he had no bodily functions, he'd sit here all day. In each other's arms, kissing occasionally. How perfect. It'd probably be good for them to have a proper conversation but now wasn't the time. "We should do something unless you want to just nap all day. I don't mind just watching you do stuff if you want to just read or something."

"I am naturally nocturnal." Gundham does remind him, although not with much force. He could doze, but unless he actually wants to start being asleep all day and awake all night, he definitely shouldn't. Shouldn't… "When I'm alone during the day, poring over the tomes has been my top priority," he muses, a little more seriously now, "though there's a reason they have been dropped to the wayside in my crusade for knowledge."

"Sounds like we'll have a quiet day then." Which sounds nice. Compared to the other days that have been so full of projects and feelings, this could be good for them. Laying on his chest as he reads sounds nice… "I'll go shower first then." He pats his shoulder but doesn't pull away. "We'll get dressed and just...read."

"Shall I retrieve for you your skins? I could make it across the hall quietly and with ease." He leans forward to catch his eyes, finally releasing his hand.

Kazuichi shrugs, stretching his arms and back before pulling himself up to stand. "If you think I desperately need new clothes. I won't take super long."

"And neither will I?" Gundham seems a little skeptical but stands, leisurely picking around in the laundry strewn all over. "But fine. Wear what you like."

"Well, you can go through my clothes if you're that desperate to." He smirks at him as he steps towards the bathroom. "Not like you haven't seen my underwear before."

Gundham flashes him an evil grin while he stuffs himself into the same trousers as the night before for now, "And I have seen how adept you are at besieging them with your private forces. They may be dry now, but they should be cleansed." He teases, and then waves a hand at him as if dismissing him. Kazuichi just playfully rolls his eyes, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Chapter Text

Gundham hasn't even finished tossing his own clothes into his pile in the corner when the water shuts back off - at first he thinks maybe there's been some sort of problem, but when he looks up, Kazuichi's sat right in front of him, the towel around him and his hair dripping wet the only indication he showered at all. He holds out his hands for his clothes. "Hand them over, then you can shower."

He stands there a second, staring. What did he do? Rinse his hair over the sink? "What have you done?"

Kazuichi stares right back at him. "I...had a shower? You know...with soap and stuff?"

"And you used all supplies at your disposal?"

"Yeah?" He looks away awkwardly. "Showers don't take that long, man."

No, he's definitely not the one in the wrong here - Gundham goes through his mental inventory of all the things he does in the shower, and even when he's trying to go quickly, he's at least double Kazuichi's time. "You have multiple square meters of exposed flesh to clean," He argues, crossing his arms over his chest and taking Kazuichi's tank top hostage in his grip at the same time. "So lost without my guidance that time spent in my absence has curdled your vision of comfort..." He tsks with a shake of his head.

Kazuichi looks baffled. "A shower is meant to last three minutes otherwise you're using up too much water! That's what they taught me in camp!" You want something longer, you have a bath, that's what he's been going by for as far back as he can remember. There's nothing weird about that. "Can I just have my clothes, please?"

"Water is recyclable! The water you use to cleanse yourself now is the same used to quell the thirst of ancient titans!" He is not going to back down on this one. "Do you not bask endlessly in the gift given to you, in the everlasting comfort of the hot spring?!" No, he can not have his clothes. In fact, Gundham swipes the folded-up jumpsuit off the dresser, too. "Your pitiable 'camp' probably hauled only enough water to scrape by, disrespectful of the youth's needs in favour of their own gluttony!"

Kazuichi whines, falling onto the bed with his arms still outstretched towards him when it becomes clear he's not going to get what he wants. "Come on, man! I did all the things I was meant to, I'm clean! How long it takes doesn't matter, don't make me sit in a damp towel for the rest of the day!"

"Get back in there. This place has nearly infinite hot water."

He groans, pushing himself up and holding the towel in place with one hand. "But I don't want to sit in there doing nothing!"

Gundham looks equal parts appalled and oddly embarrassed. "That's...the best part. It brings peace to your tumultuous soul..."

"It's just gonna be boring and wet..." He grumbles as he reluctantly pulls himself into the bathroom again. "How long are you gonna make me be in there anyway?"

"I can not provide you with a number, for the passage of time is amorphous. Do you need a demonstration first?"

Kazuichi looks over at him, raising an eyebrow. "...what, you want to shower with me?"

"As an example to you," Gundham corrects, "for us both to be present would be inconvenient unless we were in exceedingly close contact."

He pauses. Well...maybe. "I don't mind that." Kazuichi turns away. "Not like I want to sit in the shower by myself doing nothing."

"We will still not be 'doing anything'." He warns him sharply as he places Kazuichi’s clothes on the counter, but seems to be weighing it very heavily.

"Yeah yeah, I just meant that if I was made to sit in here alone, I'd be leaving again in five minutes." He scoffs and waves him off, hanging the towel up before walking towards the shower. "...you're not one of those guys who takes cold showers, right?"

"No!" Gundham nearly bellows, dropping his pants to his knees and stepping out of them. "If the water that runneth off from my form be frozen by the time it meets its end so be it, but as it meets the skin, it shall be violently boiling!" He hops and shakes an ankle at the clinging elastic of the bottom of a pant leg, obviously annoyed at it clinging on, and grumbles.

"Just checking, geez." Kazuichi turns on the water, waiting a few seconds for it to heat up before stepping back in. Seriously, what was the point? This was all just to get clean, why did it matter how long he took? He leans against the wall, letting the steam and stray droplets keep him from freezing as he watches Gundham undress. This was something they'd actually never done before. Gundham hadn't been keen on communal bathing during high school so they'd never been together to wash. Kazuichi didn't usually feel super weird about it, but maybe it's different sharing a shower as opposed to a bath. "Need me to just stay out of your way while you wash yourself?" He asks when he’s finally joined, watching how the water flattens out his hair.

Gundham shudders like the water isn’t hot enough, but with the amount of steam between them it has to be. This shower has water pressure that he can appreciate - the drops tap him rhythmically at the same time as they warm him, and he relaxes right away with a sigh. The answer is technically yes, but at the same time, he'd like to see to what degree they can...actually share. Gundham's a little bulky in the upper body, though, which might make it a little difficult. He steps aside, but not fully out of the spray. It’s as much of the shower he's willing to give up, though. "Come." He demands, swiping wet locks out of his eyes.

Kazuichi stares for a moment, almost hesitant, almost flustered, but he does step forward. He glances up at the shower head and then down at their feet to make sure he's not stepping on anything. He stops in front of him, just shy of touching in any capacity. Actually, it's a bit more under the water than he'd usually prefer, hitting his face as opposed to his back as he would usually have himself positioned. Not that he can complain very much right now. "Good enough?"

"Enjoy yourself." Gundham follows up with another request, although he knows this one is far less reasonably asked. He raises a hand and holds it between the spray and Kazuichi's upper face, keeping him from at least having to blink at the water hitting him for a second as he examines the other's expression. Kazuichi looks up at him, unconvinced. He somewhat gets the appeal of relaxing in it–he's spent a bit too long in a bath before–he's just not sure why Gundham's so insistent about it. He doesn't have to particularly enjoy the process of washing himself, most people rush through it to get to the bath anyway. And rather than tell him exactly what to do, Gundham just pulls in a deep breath and closes his eyes, dipping his whole head under the water and then wiping the excess out of his eyes and away from his nose when he comes up for air. And, starkly different from the way Kazuichi showers with efficiency, Gundham begins combing his hands through his hair backwards, combing over his own scalp. See? Look, it's calming.

Kazuichi brings his hand up, mimicking Gundham's movements in his own hair. He raises an eyebrow at him. It's...fine. He thinks. Nothing special. Maybe he's doing it wrong but he's not convinced it's a good enough reason to be in here longer than necessary. He gets a frown in return. Gundham holds his hands out to Kazuichi, quietly waving away his obviously inexperienced hands to replace them with his own. It's much different having someone else do it. Doing it yourself leaves you all too aware of the next move, but the unpredictability of another's hands… Kazuichi takes a breath, leaning into the touch. That's clearly one way his years of working with animals has paid off for him - Gundham is thorough and not especially gentle, obviously working with a goal in mind as he massages back over every part of his scalp, making sure there's nothing left that could itch (or feel anything but a little raw). He almost wants him to do it outside the shower too but he's not going to give him more reason to compare him to his beasts. Or, no, maybe that would be a good thing?

"See," Gundham says while he works, delighting in the look on his face. "And then you'll feel cleaner, too."

Kazuichi hums, "Mmh...yeah if you say so." Not like he has any idea how different it could actually be but this is certainly relaxing. "...keep doing that and I'm going to want to go to sleep again."

"Join me in my eternal torment." He ducks out of the shower to retrieve a washcloth from the rack above the toilet, rubbing it between his palms while he wets it. "Now you may introduce the tallow. Will you be capable of doing this on your own?"

"I already cleaned myself though. I don't need to be cleaned again."

"Retrieve it for me, then, at least?" He's sceptical, given that Kazuichi had walked out of the shower without red marks from having scrubbed himself down, but he's happy to at least demonstrate and have the other begging him afterward to coach him in his personal hygiene.

Kazuichi turns to grab the soap. "What, should I be taking notes on how you wash yourself?"

"Were you so studious, maybe." Gundham snatches it from him and steps a little ways outside of the stream so he can start from the top and work his way down, from behind his ears and under his jaw, over his neck and chest. He's fairly aggressive with this, too, leaving him a little pink as he goes. He gets the tops of his shoulders, the back of his neck, under his arms and down to his hands. Really, he's spent many a day mucking around in some very strongly-smelling stuff, so it's a well-earned precaution to keep large animal waste from going un-scrubbed on an errant elbow or something, but it does also feel satisfying to come out of a project feeling so completed. He'd set out to clean himself, and clean himself he shall! Maybe the best anyone's ever done it, too.

"You don't need to scrub your skin off..." Kazuichi grimaces. Maybe it only seems that way from an outside perspective, but it kind of looks like Gundham's hurting himself with how rough he is. Not that he shows it if he is. 

He gives Kazuichi an exasperated look while he makes sure that the hair on the insides of his thighs and his undercarriage in general are clean. "You underestimate the strength of my shell," he explains, casually, "the residue of soldiers' patrol permeates deeply, I do what is necessary to keep the barracks in order."

"Yeah, but you look weird red." Being so pale, even just the shower heat discolours Gundham's skin to the point of looking concerningly flushed, but the scrubbing adds a layer to it that almost makes it seem sunburnt. Maybe it's just that Kazuichi isn't used to it. "Well, whatever, as long as you feel clean..."

"Wh—!" He's used to being said to 'look weird', but this one is new. Maybe it's because he doesn't shower or bathe with people, but it strikes something in him a little. How is it that Kazuichi manages to find ways to embarrass him that no one else on this miserable planet has? Gundham’s ducking back under the water while he scrubs at the top of one foot, and then the other. The flush all over him highlights the pale scars here and there, as well as revealing some that weren't quite visible at room temperature. He huffs, obviously a bit offended, and hands the soap and washcloth bundle to Kazuichi before he turns around. There's a conspicuously less-red-spot from about the bottom of his rib cage to mid-shoulder blade, a stripe of skin on his back he's not able to easily scrub on his own.

Kazuichi glances at the washcloth and then back up at Gundham. There's a hint of a laugh as he steps closer and scrubs him but not nearly as aggressively. "Ha, that's one thing I can do you can't. Clean my back by myself." He teases. He'd always been a little proud of that fact, being able to stretch his hands back to touch each other. And he's certainly washed backs for people before but...he feels a bit more delighted to.

"Your stature is what permits it. Go on, keep basking in your glory." He's broad! He can't help it! Gundham scoffs at the laugh but can't find it in him to be genuinely upset, not when his spine is sending oddly intense zaps of sensory input up his body while Kazuichi swipes over the skin. He sends a heel backwards, but not with enough force to actually topple anyone, even if it did make contact. It doesn't. It was a blind kick, anyway.

Kazuichi steps back when he decides he's done, watching Gundham rinse himself off. Blurry colours paint a vague picture of where certain particularly nasty scars lay. The uncountable number on his arm, the few across his torso and legs, how clear his tattoos must be unobstructed by lighting or makeup but to Kazuichi now only appear to be lightly faded black shapes. (Briefly, he wonders if the kanji he'd carved on his inner thigh are still there, perhaps even just faintly. He can't say for certain given he can't really remember how deep the cuts were and he's not getting down on his knees just to check.) There's a pang in his chest. A guilt of sorts. Yet even so...he can't deny that despite it he does like Gundham. No matter how much he's not supposed to, he still finds himself wanting to take his hand and pull him closer.

Gundham goes back over himself with more delicate hands now as he rinses, eyes closed and enjoying himself quite thoroughly. This is normally where he would go back over some problem spots a second time, but he gets the feeling that Kazuichi might find something to criticize in it, and he's really not in the mood. He'd like to stay cheerful, as much as possible. With his skin taken care of, he places his hands on Kazuichi’s shoulders and encourages him to rotate with him under the spray, leaving him in the middle of it while he steps aside to start washing his hair in earnest.

Kazuichi continues to stare at him. The deafening sound of the shower does sort of soothe his brain. He's fairly certain he'd be feeling a lot different were there not something like that to distract him. He reaches up, gently pushing Gundham's hands out of the way to massage his scalp with his own. "...feels awkward if I'm not doing anything."

"You have such a skittish disposition…" is all Gundham has to say as he leans his head back to help keep the lather out of his eyes while Kazuichi takes over - he reaches slow and blind back out to the water to rinse his hands, keeping his eyes scrunched shut.

"I just want to give it a try." He frowns, stepping closer to make it easier to reach him. "You know I like doing things with my hands."

"Not what you said." He mutters, retracting hands and bumping Kazuichi on his way, putting a brief touch of fingers to his hip to steady, figure out where exactly Kazuichi is, and offer a nonverbal sort of apology. It feels good, though. The hands. He cuts his own hair and spends most of his time alone, and so this is an experience completely new to him, to have someone else wash it. The relaxing atmosphere and the occasional shiver that doing it on himself produces is increased dramatically when it's someone else. He finds himself shuddering with goose bumps all over, scrunching his nose in slight discomfort. It's good, it's just so much more than he's used to feeling in this sort of context.

Kazuichi keeps his eyes on Gundham's face, watching his reactions. He doesn't mind this. There might be a somewhat substantial height difference between them, but as long as they stand close enough together, it's not too bad. Aside from the water, it's quiet and he doesn't really mind this. He pulls Gundham under the water to rinse out the shampoo without hesitation or argument. "...you're kinda pretty right now."

Gundham wiggles a little bit to keep the water and soap from washing down his face into his eyes, tilting his head back a little further. His throat bobs as he swallows, and then he sighs. "Your words fall on the numb senses of an unfeeling being." He lies, thankful he's already bright red enough that a blush won't show (although the flicker of a grimace still does).

Kazuichi frowns slightly. "Unfeeling, huh?" He knows that's not true, it's painfully obvious, but it does give him pause at the possibility that it might be true in some way. "You're not super into compliments, I guess..." He says as he turns to pick up the conditioner. His tone is a lot gentler, relaxed in a way different to how he is when he's tired. He starts from Gundham's shorter edges, running lathered fingers over and up through his hair.

"It's, ah –" How does he want to phrase it? It's not that he doesn't understand, he...just… Well, he's also distracted, as he's getting a delicate tone used with him right alongside the light touch. So maybe it's fine that he's not the most verbose at this exact minute! Maybe he's not, though. They do tend to make him feel nervous and hot. "It's a part of my terrific nature."

Kazuichi smiles, closed lipped and gentle. Different. "You should stop using that word to describe yourself. People don't use it to describe scary things these days." Though, more and more he's finding that even so, he agrees with the descriptor regardless. It's really cute, actually.

Gundham really would like to make sure his eyes keep from being conditioned as Kazuichi scratches his scalp through all the suds, but the water blurring his vision occasionally isn't doing anything significant to dissuade his staring. There's a looseness to his own face, too. Not fully relaxed - his brows are still pulled a little together, but his jaw isn't set hard or his teeth grit, and he isn't scowling exactly. He looks more curious than he does brooding or maybe like the lights are a little too bright instead of actively trying to darken his eyes. He's begun to lean down subtly as well without realizing it. There's the tiniest, laziest flicker of a sneer, "Ah, because you are so in tune with the youth and their perception of the despicable, old man?"

Kazuichi laughs, "Only older by a few months." This is a different kind of comfort and he feels like he's discovering more and more with every hang out they have. Gundham's right, having a long shower and doing all these things does feel better, but maybe he's just growing tired from the heat. "Nah, people haven't used terrific to mean scary for like a hundred years. You should use terrifying instead...or any other scary word really." He leans closer. He wants to hug him. He wants to stand here with him for a while and just let the water fall over them. He wants to go back to bed but he worries the lack of the shower will steal the gentleness away.

Throwing out the long-running fiction of being an immortal and timeless being for a second, Gundham allows himself an indulgence - to stick his tongue out at the other through a smile. "So now it's insignificant a timespan? When I was one of the youngest in class it was of such great consequence as to be brought up routinely." Probably just because he was an easy target for getting so mad about it, but still. "...There are only so many words, and I go through them really fast," he mutters, finally, a hint of a pout to his voice despite the fact he's still smiling, just a tiny bit.

"Well...I am still older and you are still the youngest. I'm just not an old man." But he does like that. The small teasing. His hands trail down to Gundham's neck, massaging there instead. Perhaps what it is about the moment that enchants him so is how normal it is. How it feels like anyone could be having this conversation. He likes being animated, he likes having moments he could never have with anyone else...but this is also nice. "It's not a big deal if you repeat yourself." He shrugs slightly. "You're really good with metaphors too. You've got options."

Little touches are less overwhelming when the shower spray is there to add distracting noise, like a physician tapping before administering a shot. It makes Gundham comfortable receiving it, so much so that he hardly even notices that he's being touched at all, or that he's touching - putting his hands on Kazuichi's sides, just under his ribs, not quite to his hips or his chest. "Thank you," he says, not sounding very gracious at all - what is with Kazuichi and drawing sarcasm out of him? Rather than fight back, though, he just purses his lips and seems to contemplate the statement, gears turning.

Kazuichi scoffs playfully. "Are my compliments and advice not good enough?" He wants to kiss him. He wants to lean in and gently kiss his jaw but perhaps that's too much. Perhaps it'll become too heated too easily and his promise of not doing anything will become void. Leaning closer will just have to do.

"You're not intelligent enough for your compliments nor advice to be worth a listen." He says, and then immediately realizes how very offensive that sounds, and backtracks, trying his best not to make it sound too pathetic. Their torsos are close enough to touch. It helps with the space issue a lot, actually, to be this close. Not to mention that he's coming to enjoy it. So long as it's on his own terms, anyway. "What I mean is that you're foolhardy enough to compliment, meaning your advice is tainted by the evil intent that impregnates all that opens itself near me."

Kazuichi resists the urge to flick his forehead. "Don't say impregnates when I'm standing this close to you." He genuinely frowns. Gundham should really stop giving his mind reasons to wander.

"A-...I ah—" Gundham growls and shuts his mouth, teeth clenched, "you are not stupid enough to think that's what I meant." He grumbles. "Your refractory period is admirable, though. Whatever species it is you are, it's a sexually aggressive one."

He gets an eye roll in return. But Kazuichi does look down. He allows himself to actually consider what he's trying to say. "...but...that doesn't mean you don't like when I say nice things about you, right?"

"I...it's not so simple. Like or dislike..."

Kazuichi's mouth forms a line. He can understand that, it's sort of what he's been feeling about all of this. He doesn't dislike anything...but he can't possibly like it quite that much, right? His brain is simply being overloaded with stimulus that he can't bring himself to say no. At least...that's the way he could look at it if he wants to avoid things like feeling especially hurt by anything. His hands move down to the base of his neck, keeping his fingers moving so he feels there's at least a reason he's touching him. "So it'd be okay if I kept saying those kinds of things?"

"If you truly believe them, say them. If I can't understand why it is you would give such utterances, maybe by studying their context I may gather that knowledge." Gundham sets a hand on either of Kazuichi's hips, although not full-palmed, just the very heels on his hip bones, fingers held up, like he's unsure if he should touch much more. "Why...?" That's always been one thing that baffled him about this man. He walks around so smug and prideful, practically begging to be worshipped by other people, yet the second anyone is willing to do so, he becomes bashful and can hardly take any praise. Almost like praising the overlord and praising Gundham himself are two different things. It's weird but Kazuichi should be used to it by now.

"They're just...objective facts." As if Gundham being handsome is not rather subjective of him to say. Kazuichi furrows his brows, finding himself wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

He doesn't look prideful or smug now. He looks very uncomfortable, in fact, and now finds himself very genuinely attempting to find anything else to look at at all. He ends up peering down at the bloom of colours that come from Kazuichi's hair. Black at the base. Little bits of brown and blond where it'd been bleached, once. And then pink. Fading...pink. Some of the spots have dye sticking better than others. "What objectivity you think you see may only be a small sliver of the image." He likes the wet arms around his neck. He tightens his grip, sliding his own arms around Kazuichi's middle, just under his arms. "My great pains to display myself exactly as my essence is in the otherworld failing do not escape my notice. I am aware that the humans - and now devils - among us do not agree in the way I'd prefer them to. And so I temper my expectations, and I hope to guide you to do the same."

Kazuichi suddenly finds it too hard to focus on his words enough to decipher them. He's suddenly too hot and the shower is too loud. He feels as if he's going to melt yet he doesn't want to let go just yet. Something about...not being himself...he doesn't know, he thinks that's what he means but—

"I-I think that's enough shower for me." He pulls back. "You can stay here if you want but I'm gonna get dressed now." He swallows as he awkwardly steps out and grabs his towel. The fact the panic felt like it came out of nowhere somehow makes it worse. It can't be the intimacy making him feel that way, they've been way worse than that probably barely an hour earlier and yet now of all times is when he feels like it's too much.

Gundham lets his grip loosen right away, seeing the sudden panic on Kazuichi's face. He scampers out of his grip and then right out of the shower, too, drying himself off again and disappears past what Gundham can see through the privacy glass and the angle of the open doorway. Ah. He must have...explained it in a way that made sense, finally. That his persona is not one he puts on for fun. That he really is that odd. That he really is a species apart, and in the old world, bore the pedigree to prove it. That when others disbelieve him, he allows it, because their scorn for his shell is the closest he can get to having them know, and ultimately despise, the real beast within.

For a moment, he tries to convince himself that this is a good thing. That having communicated, finally, that he's not worth the attention, not any positive attention, that he's better off left alone in order to spare the pure soul of whatever being tried to come near, is all a good thing. It's a good thing. He's accomplished something, finally. Even if it's probably fueled equally in part by his insistence and by Kazuichi seeing through his own eyes how even when he had tried his very best, hidden every sign of weakness and illness, pushed down every negative emotion, nobody, not even the Angel that had birthed him, could be spared from the despair radiating out from his disease. He stands under the water, turning it hotter and letting it flow over him. Where it is they get their water and how they heat it he has no idea, but it's pretty good. It feels good. He will not allow himself to cry. He will consider this all a good thing.

It's maybe fifteen more minutes before Gundham's composed himself and turns off the shower, spending his time drying himself still in the stall after grabbing his towel and taking it in with him. He'd rather not look in the mirror if he can avoid it. He'd like to have his soldiers now, but he knows better than to be the burden that wakes them now. He's dried himself thoroughly when he comes back. Even his hair has been gently tousled with the towel until it's just damp. He hadn't had time to gather himself an outfit, so now he's got to go shuffling around on his own, pulling open drawers. It's a calm day, right? It's a day of finding the boundaries and staying within them. He can stand to just put on some sweatpants and a tank top.

Gundham dresses quietly, doing his own best to come up with something to say. As he's finishing up, pulling the shirt over his head, he turns to look down at Kazuichi all snuggled in with the pillow and can't help but smirk, the edge of the sharp sadness chipping away. "Unfortunate you did not receive your coverings in the end." It's sort of an apology.

"...it's fine." Is all Kazuichi can mutter back from where he lays. He managed, he found his clothes and found his chest twisting when he realised Gundham had actually been mindful of their chosen activity for the day when he picked them out. He glances at him, bites his tongue. He needs to get better at this, it's not ideal to just try and move on like nothing happened there.

Truthfully, the words Gundham had said hadn't reached him. Maybe partially, but not fully. It wasn't the intense mix of stimulus all around him all at once that got on his nerves until he couldn't take it. No, Gundham held him and spoke so with a tone that seemed so...heartbroken to him that he found himself terrified at what it might make him say. They were vulnerable together quite a lot lately but this didn't quite feel the same. It was a look at real feelings that he didn't know how to deal with just yet and every response he could muster in that moment felt too wrong. Gundham shouldn't be that vulnerable with him, he's not good at that! Gundham shouldn't be vulnerable with him because what if he lets his guard down too much and something happens? What if Kazuichi fucks up? What's he meant to do with anything beyond the surface level?

What if Gundham opens up his heart and Kazuichi finds himself taking it in his hands...like he wanted to...what happens if he pulls it close? And what happens if he squeezes? No, they shouldn't let things go that deep because the only thing Kazuichi knows for sure is what happens if he uses it to manipulate the situation. The thought makes him feel like he's going to die.

He takes a deep breath through the pillow. It smells like both of them. It shouldn't be comforting. But by the time Gundham returns, his throat isn't quite so dry and his heart isn't quite so fast. He stares at the darkened wall. He should apologise for being so abrupt, he wanted to go back to hugging each other after all, but he's not even sure he can explain himself. "...I was...starting to feel hot, so..." It's not completely a lie, and maybe Gundham can tell, but he's not ready to describe the rest of his feelings yet. "A-At least you got to show me showers can be nice when they're longer..."

"Too long in Hell turns the blood to steam." Gundham agrees, happy to let it go. He's not sure he wants an explanation, not really. If Kazuichi wants him not to know, then he will likely not need to change his behaviour, which is good. He doesn't want to. "You grow accustomed to it over time. It's like how they tell the elderly not to spend too much time in hot springs." He gathers up the notebook he'd been doodling in earlier and sits on the floor beside the bed, flipping to an empty page before glancing up at him. "Cool off while I tear open the ancient world's knowledge?"

"Y-Yeah...sure." How considerate. Gundham doesn't seem awfully bothered and is even trying to accommodate him. Kazuichi stares at the back of his head as he turns to the book. He'd...kind of expected him to want to know a bit more, maybe question why he hadn't left but...no, of course he's being nice. And the fact he's not been the least bit mean to him since he woke up makes this all even more terrifying. Of course he himself wasn't going to reject him coming closer, but surely there should have been more resistance on Gundham's side. Surely he'll express far more annoyance or hatred soon.

Kazuichi doesn't feel hot anymore just...a whole slew of other things as he stares at the damp head of hair leaning against the bed. He almost feels as though this has all been too easy. He's being given the words and actions he seems to want with far too little effort. He doesn't want to blame Gundham for anything, but that only leaves himself and pointing the fear inwards makes it exponentially worse. Yet apparently he'd rather be scared the damage he caused was too deep to undo than be scared Gundham was only trying to break him down in much the same way.

Chapter Text

Gundham's still only part-way through the couple of textbooks he'd scrounged, and though both are boring, they're at least a good excuse to be writing and drawing idly, pretending Kazuichi isn't there (and occasionally remembering, peeking up at him to see if he's still there, even though he knows that he hasn't left). He takes notes. He relays, occasionally, in his own special way, his findings. Things like the driving habits of tiny European countries. Quietly brings up any time Novoselic or a Novoselician is mentioned in passing. Shows a picture here or there, though they're mostly confined just to chapter headings. Despite the awkwardness that hangs over them, Gundham finds that he's able to shove it all aside quite easily. More easily than he thought he'd be able to. Kazuichi does no crying or retreating, so while they're a bit more distant than they'd been this morning, nothing is so bad. It's not so bad.

He's given up reading about economics and has been drawing a variety of little exaggerated monstrous animals in the margins of his notes when noon comes by, and he's drawn out of his trance when there's a rap of knuckles...somewhere. He looks up and blinks, readjusting himself to the real world and not that of scroll and ink, and realizes it's his bedroom door. Obviously. He bristles a little, tossing the notebook aside and scrambling to his feet to press himself to the door to keep it from being opened against his will, just in case whoever it is tries to muscle their way in. "Which demon darkens my doorstep? Think quickly and deeply before you offer to me your identity, for you are one destined for the expeditiously tended list of subjects to be bled dry at my soldiers' daggers."

"Oh! If I may suggest, better torture and therefore more effective intimidation would be to not drain me completely or all at once in case I perish, but to execute this plan in segments, so it is as drawn out as possible!"

It's Sonia. Gundham looks back to see Kazuichi sat on the bed with his hands shoved into his lap, apparently at attention as well.

"You were not at breakfast," she clarifies, "I thought I would stop by to make sure you were alright and would be able to attend lunch."

The boys stare at each other for a short moment. Kazuichi shrugs. He is hungry, but he doesn't exactly want to be eating with everyone else. Letting her in or not is Gundham's decision. Gundham rolls his eyes and tries a more intense expression to see if he can get him to make a more blatant decision without saying anything or letting her know he has anyone in the room with him. Especially not who he has now. "Fear not my absence, for it would be naught but a blessing."

"Oddly, I did not feel blessed this morning."

"I'll be there. Please, do not go standing in front of the missing beasts' hideaways, you may not like what it is you find within." 

"Alright! I shall wait for you then." Sonia's grin can be heard in her tone, the clacking of her shoes against the floor the only indicator she's left. Gundham waits a moment until she's surely gone and releases a breath, standing away from the door. Nailed it, definitely and for sure.

Kazuichi finds the awkwardness inside him growing. Being treated like a secret like that...he'd rather not describe the way that makes him feel. "So...uhm...do you want me to hang back for a few minutes while you go or...?" Because surely his goal was to not make it obvious.

"It would be prudent, I think," he says, "or for you to depart, and then me. We can at least be certain the hallway is clear now, so if you were to appear from my territory, it wouldn't raise suspicion." Not to anyone except those who may be behind the hallway cameras, anyway. "...I will defer to your judgment on the order we file out."

"Oh, yeah sure." Kazuichi slides off the bed, making sure he looks as presentable as he usually does before looking back up at Gundham. He stares for a moment. Him in his normal clothes. He'd gotten used to them and yet— "Are you going to put on some long sleeves before we leave?" He finds himself asking. Not that wearing a singlet out is a problem or anything, they've all done it at some point.

Pulling his brush through his fringe a couple of times, Gundham starts separating the white strands from black, albeit with a little less diligence than usual. He's not in the mood to gel it, and so it's likely to turn into a grey mess, anyway. Although Kazuichi makes a good point, and he makes a face at himself in the bathroom mirror, looking at his arms and neck. Still a bit scratched and bruised, but nothing terribly out of the ordinary. For breakfast, he supposes, it would be fine, but for lunch...maybe Kazuichi is right. "...I was planning on wearing my scarf." He mutters, raising the collar of the shirt to his lips sheepishly as a replacement for said object. "I'll bring my coat as well. You're right. The likelihood of ambush is too high to ignore."

"...Y-Yeah. Definitely." There's a twinge of guilt as he turns away, biting his lip to contain the way it makes him smile. It's selfish of him, it really is, and he shouldn't allow himself to be selfish. But as long as Gundham agrees with him, it's probably not that bad. He presses his hands to his cheeks, taking a deep breath. Now isn't the time to be thinking things that will make him blush. "Anyway! I'll go ahead. We should eat extra to make up for the skipped breakfast." Or at the very least not skip dinner as well. Kazuichi presses his ear to the door just to be sure before opening it, pulling it shut behind and taking in a breath before putting distance between it and himself. There's far too much for him to think about from this morning but maybe it'll be easier when he gets food in him. As long as he stays calm and doesn't overthink things, it'll be fine. ...it's just lunch...

Gundham nods curtly at him before he starts on his journey to get dressed a little more tactfully - by the time he leaves, he's decided on a proper pair of trousers, too, to go with his scarf and coat. ...And he does a quick cover-up of the tattoos on his forehead and cheek. And does his other makeup as well. Before he knows it, he's actually quite presentable, and he feels...better for it, honestly. He feels much better for it, more confident, more like himself. 

He leaves the hamsters alone, even though he does miss them quite a bit. He doesn't feel the need to expose them to whatever is about to occur. He feels a little sick as he clicks his door shut and pads down the cold and empty hallway, toward the quiet excitement of the dining room.

Not everyone is around for lunch - different people show up for it at different times, usually - but he sees quite a few people bustling about now. In fact, the only ones to be absent seem to be Nekomaru and Mahiru.

"She's– she definitely needs some time to recover..." Hajime says. He seems to be receiving great accolades, ones that make Gundham tuck his chin into his scarf to hide the snarl on his face as he enters, scooting aside of the group while they speak.

"She's cut herself up every which way, of course she needs some time. Just glad it's not you standing over her while she's all...vulnerable." Fuyuhiko looks a little pale, sat at the table with his chin in a palm.

"I wasn't–! I never...!"

"I think it would be more than acceptable to give her as much time as she possibly needs. I have no plan of my own to make Mikan feel as though she is welcomed, after the way she was treated..." Sonia has already integrated herself into the conversation, too.

"Treated worse than dogshit, yeah," Notably, Hiyoko chimes in despite the fishcake in her mouth, "but she loves it, y'know?"

"She does kinda seem like that, but I thought we were all getting better an' stuff." If Hiyoko was planning on eating the rest of the cakes, she ought to hurry, as Akane has her fingers in the bowl.

Gundham can't help but seek out a space where he hopefully won't be noticed or spoken to. He just wants a snack and to leave - he's heard quite enough of the 'news' already. Kazuichi is sat not too close but not too far away from the group, eating as normal with a slightly uncomfortable look on his face. He doesn't have much of a relationship with Mikan so it's not as if he can really comment all that much. He's happy that what they were doing turned into success, but the rejection from being so blatantly left out of the project settles nicely in his chest. He doesn't want to be upset, but every so often he makes a face at their words that makes it clear he very much is. This is why he didn't want to eat with them. That and he feels like every time he glances up from his food, someone else feels the need to avert their gaze from him. It's awkward and he hates it.

"Anyway, when she seems a bit more coherent of the situation, I'll be sure to give her a medical examination. Hopefully she wasn't careless and we can manage anything that comes up ourselves." Hajime continues. Good news, apparently. It probably would be if you were friends with her like the girls are.

Fuyuhiko takes a bite of food. "Foundation probably dealt with the worst of it before hooking her up. No point if she ends up dying before the end of the program, right?"

Sonia glances at Kazuichi, then over at Gundham. She gives him a smile and a small wave despite how distant he's clearly trying to make himself. An action which he almost misses completely given he’s too busy glaring at Kazuichi for already taking the best possible seat. She is part of the conversation, but he's much more comfortable sitting with her than he is anyone else for now, so once he's scraped up for himself something he can stomach, he finds his spot next to her.

"And...we'll start deciding on who to focus our efforts on next. If anybody has any strong feelings. I think that order should be negligible now." Idly, Gundham wonders if he'd just missed the explanation, or if Hajime is purposefully saying nothing of what it is he's done.

"Unless you've got a preference, I'd go easiest to hardest." Fuyuhiko leans back in his seat. "Start with uh...Byakuya and work your way up to Nagito. No point wasting energy on pulling him out first if he's just going to be a pain."

Hajime makes a face, like he agrees but he doesn't entirely want to. Hiyoko sticks her tongue out in disgust at the mention.

Kazuichi glares at his food. He and Gundham are the only ones left out of the loop and the longer he sits here, the more obvious it becomes. Hell, when he walked in all he'd been given as an awkward hello. It isn't fair! How come everyone else gets to be so involved and his time and his notes don't get any credit?! He knew he wouldn't want to be here after what they saw yesterday…

Keep your mouth shut. Keep your mouth shut. Keep your mouth–

"Or revive the alchemist. Perhaps the Nameless One will be more inclined to join us should they know what feasts await," Gundham interjects where he can’t, getting an awkward look out of Hajime. It's impossible to get him to say something he doesn't want to but he's also very easy to read. "Surely the input of the catalyst holds water?"

There's a strong pause.

"Gundham certainly has a point." Sonia chimes, though perhaps a little nervously. "Teruteru would certainly be of help in food regards. Not that anyone's food is poor quality, but it would be a morale boost, yes?"

"Yeah, and that would free you all up from the chore, wouldn't it?" Kazuichi can't help but add to it, though his tone is a lot more bitter than the other two. Gundham bristles a little but he is the first one to have gone on the assault, so he stands firm, jaw set tightly, arms crossed and leaning back, chin hidden in his scarf.

"What's crawled up your ass?" Fuyuhiko mutters, giving him a look and only getting a brief glare and a grumble in return. "Sure, Teruteru works, too, if we're confident he's going to behave."

"He would," Hajime nods to himself, very decidedly, "so far, if anything, the blackened have been especially helpful since they've woken up."

"Then perhaps that shall be the next priority!" Sonia clasps her hands together, glancing over at Gundham with a worried look.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, that does seem pretty good." Akane grins to herself. Hiyoko is the only one who doesn't seem overly pleased by the idea. 

Gundham gets the distinct feeling that Hiyoko will not be pleased until her posse is completed - or, perhaps, even after that, either, so he lets it alone. He looks to Sonia instead, his expression softening the moment he meets her eyes - a quiet promise that he's not upset with her, not in the slightest, and he has just as much concern for her discomfort as the other way around. "We shall consider the conundrum settled, then, on my command. The Mistress of the Wastes has returned to us, and soon too shall her minion. Hail to the lord responsible for the innovations yet held behind frosted panes."

"Gundham, I'm the one who called this–"

His food forgotten and untouched, Gundham straightens his shoulders and pulls his face from its hiding spot. "Ah, so you'd take from me the title of the Conclusion?"

"I'm just saying there's more I want to talk about, so...relax, alright? I wanted to say that..." Hajime pauses, still standing uncomfortably near the head of the tables but not quite in prime position to look especially confident in his leaderly role, "Everybody here should be aware of all the rules, even the people who we wake up next. But I think it would also be unfair not to use the kindness given to us by our supervisors, so...if anybody has any questions about what's allowed and what's not...I'd like it if they came to talk to me. That's all."

"I think we've all been here long enough to know all about that." Kazuichi finds himself saying. Something about that strikes him as quite condescending and targeted. He wants to call him a jerk but there's no reason to go quite that far. He has technically been breaking the rules, but if he's not being directly reprimanded, it can't be that bad. "Have fun with whatever the hell you're up to, I'm going back to bed." He pushes his bowl forward as he stands. He hates it, he hates all of this. He doesn't want to be angry at Hajime but maybe he should've thought about his feelings before using his notebook without permission.

Gundham does his best not to watch Kazuichi as he goes, but he can't help a glance. He seems upset. Rightfully so, but it doesn't feel good to see so he just stays quiet. Suddenly he's not very hungry, but he does want to bring something back for his soldiers, so he acts like he's eating, anyway, while the others bicker back and forth. Nobody addresses him and people soon file out in little clusters. Sonia stays with him, which he appreciates, but has his own issues with. Once most of the rabble has exited, he looks up at her again, jabbing what remaining vegetables he has remaining, idly. "Release me of the eye, if you would," he mumbles, his face a little flushed.

Sonia's eyes widen with a small gasp. "Ah! Yes of course." She folds her hands together as she looks away from him. She frowns, rubbing her own knuckles. "You just seem a bit agitated today." Which is probably not helped by the fact he did not open the door to greet her earlier as he normally would. "Is everything alright? You are not troubled by something, are you?"

The next she hears from him is crunching for a moment, after which he tsks and hums. This is his and Kazuichi's secret, right? Well. His, Kazuichi's, Peko's, Hiyoko's, Mahiru's, and Hajime's, at the very least...adding Sonia doesn't seem so bad, suddenly.

"What not to be troubled by, is the question." He sighs, although is a little grateful that apparently the only possible exposure to his and Kazuichi's noise earlier were those in the boys' hall. "Were I untroubled the realm would fall into chaos and disarray. Count your blessings that upon my back lie the hefts of the universe...including the weight of the souls departed. Or blessed to return, whatever the will of causality enacts." Normally he sounds a bit more...peppy when he speaks of his sacrifices and terrible burdens and suchlike.

Sonia hums, flatly, still obviously concerned but not wanting to push it. "If that is what you say..." She places her hand close by on the table, opting not to touch him but still offers support. "If there is something you are particularly concerned by, I am more than happy to hear you out. Even if it is beyond human comprehension."

He looks at the hand and blushes harder. He opens his own and holds it just above hers for a second, and then removes it to set it beside hers instead. "...Great secrets burden my husk. What makes them especially heinous is the fact they can be comprehended..." he blinks, "certainly by the she-cat who shares my language."

There's a hint of a laugh, a smile gracing her as she nods. "I see. In that sense, I understand." She looks over at him again, as kind and compassionate as she's always been. "Even so, you do not need to carry every one of them in silence. I will still hear you out if something is particularly troublesome."

...Oh, come on...

Gundham squirms. "...You have to maintain your silence. It is absolutely imperative."

She leans a little closer, eyes sparkling as she nods. "Yes, of course!"

He cracks a smile, he can't help it when those eyes are on him like that. "...Kazuichi and I have been," he means to spill on their research efforts, but... "involved." There. That's set enough between the two that it's not a lie, but not a full admission, probably. But of course he can't help himself but continue, his voice a brag despite the contents of his words. "I did not intend to lie brazenly to your face. It is simply a subject which has been deemed of a strictly personal matter by every being involved, though some to a...higher degree of importance than others."

Sonia seems to smile wide. Her chair comes closer as she turns herself to give him her full attention. "How wonderful!" She says in quiet excitement. Perhaps this is just the closest thing she's had to girl-talk in a while, but she seems wholly invested. "I am not concerned about lying, you have no need to tell me anything right away, but now you must tell me everything there is to know. Is everything alright?"

The smile is contagious - plus, it makes eating easier, too, which makes sneaking vegetables into his pockets look much smoother, as well. "He's more skittish than I anticipated. I have been assured it has little if at all to do with the essence of mine and its damaging aura." He doesn't seem fully convinced, but the thought doesn't break his sheepish excitement, either. "He and I have been sharing our nights. Cordially." He quickly tacks on. And it's not a lie, all the times before that they have been intimate haven't been during the night! "I...and so...it's...been alright." 

She giggles, clapping with as much enthusiasm as she's allowing herself as to keep the moment feeling private. "Oh, Gundham! You must be rather thrilled!" After all, being so close for so long, it was only inevitable she'd learn of the little crush whether he outright admitted it or not. Some moments made it all terribly obvious if you were paying attention. "You must be feeling rather distracted by the new development then if things are going smoothly. Do you see yourself progressing even further when the time comes?"

"Delighted." He agrees. It's not something he likes to admit to himself, but there are occasions in which the spirit of attraction haunts so viciously, with such blatant disregard for his health and discretion, that surely one who can read him would see. He's so red he feels like he might start to tear up, even though he gives a little amused half-chuckle. "...The road ahead may be tumultuous. A gale I can not peer through hangs over the horizon. Uhm. He has no confidant but me for the time being, and so you see what trouble this may lay at his feet...all I can do is have hope." He says it before he even realizes what it is he's said. He scowls a little to himself at what, even to him, has become a terrible cliché. "I still have yet to unravel what facet of my power it was that caused it. It seemed as though one moment it was a battle to the death, of teeth and claws, and the next we were brothers-in-arms."

"I am not surprised. It would be natural to move a bit faster when you already have an established bond." And, well...this is Kazuichi they're talking about. A man who always seemed rather quick to decide whether he does or does not like someone. "But, I do congratulate you. Let me know when it becomes far more official and I will happily celebrate with you. Ah, I am so happy for the both of you!"

Aw, she thinks they had a bond...? Now he's just letting himself get far more mushy than he should. Restrain yourself, Tanaka. She did say when they make it official, though, not if, and that gives him confidence, too. And more of that awful fuzzy feeling.

...He does give a sound not unlike a giggle, though. The idea of venturing back to his room suddenly doesn't seem so daunting. Their frustrations can be worked out, even if he's not quite enthusiastic to experience aimless angsting, if he can help it. Gundham turns toward Sonia and lets down his cutlery into the bowl, instead putting his hands in his lap, politely, palms-up in an awkward, subtle gesture. She makes a delighted noise, leaning forward as she wraps her arms around him. Gently, not squeezing and being mindful not to overstay her welcome.

"I am sure everything will turn out wonderfully. If you both remain open and willing to talk, I can see things being exactly as you have always imagined." She rubs his back before they let go, pulling his bowl to herself to indicate she'll happily deal with it for him. "I am glad you felt comfortable telling me. I am always here to share in your happiness."

When Gundham sits back, obviously a bit refreshed after the comforting action. He's a little less frightfully red, and he's a lot less flustered when he speaks. "...I know you are. I'm ever thankful." He bows his head slightly. "I am going to attend to him." 

Sonia laughs, standing as well to collect any remaining dishes. "I am sure he would like that. Go on, then. He must be feeling impatient if he truly does like you." She waves him off.

That's true, isn't it?

It makes the noise he gets in response to his knock and entry give him a fluttering in his stomach. If he's impatient, it must be because he'd like to see him, yes...? He chuckles lightly as the stripe of light from the open door sets across Kazuichi's pouting form grumbling into a pillow with the light still off. He doesn't sound nearly as upset as he did earlier, most of his tone replaced with a sort of boredom. "Would you recoil and return to soil as ash if I were to illuminate your cave?"

Kazuichi groans, pre-emptively pulling the blanket up over himself. "Yes. I'd die." Not really, but he's learning it's actually nice to sit in the dark sometimes. "What do you need light for anyway?"

"Nothing at all. Only a query." Gundham doesn't turn on the overhead light, just slips into the room and blinks at the darkness, waiting for his eyes to adjust. "Pleased to see you have not perished already." He offers, still standing with his back to the door.

"I will..." He mumbles, pushing the blanket back down so that he can look at the vaguely Gundham-shaped figure in the darkness. Yet he finds himself turning away, suddenly rather embarrassed. "You were taking ages..."

"Ah, you know of my importance in this sphere. Even more so now that I have served as the blueprint for the remastering of many great demons to come." He flourishes both his hands and begins, slowly, to feel his way toward the bed. "...I was finishing my meal. Awaiting my best moment for escape. ...Did you miss me?" He teases, still far too chipper for the situation.

Kazuichi doesn't answer for a moment. He's a terrible liar and he's not very good at lying around Gundham anyway. But sometimes he wishes it was easier so he could better ignore when he feels this strange tingle. As soon as Gundham manages to sit down, Kazuichi moves closer and wraps his arms and legs around him. "...I did." He admits, mumbling against him.

Gundham's heart hurts - something ignites inside him at the touch, and he holds him tightly back, sighing into him. To be so thoroughly covered makes him feel warm, comforted, steady. "You were upset." He probes, not quite sure how to broach the situation, but feeling bold. He rubs Kazuichi's back and it earns him a hum.

"Hajime just sounded like a jerk..." He squeezes Gundham, pressing his face in his shoulder as he settles comfortably in his lap. He finds himself wondering if any of that really matters right now. 

"I would ascribe it to ignorance were he not...you know." He says quietly, his voice suddenly very small. There's another feeling that washes over him. Something blissful that has him closing his eyes and just feeling it, just indulging in the weight on his thighs and the pressure on his chest. "...he said I had been useful." As if this makes up for anything, but it's worth a venture, stuck as it is in Gundham's head.

"Yeah..." Kazuichi agrees. Because he had been, just through the sharing of private notes and not through proper, credited effort. That makes him frown to himself. Maybe he should confront Hajime about it. It wasn't great he was spying, but it also wasn't great his supposed friend was so blatantly leaving him out. Even so, he can't find it in himself to remain so upset when Gundham sounds so happy. He squeezes again. "...and you have to apologise for taking so long."

Gundham grunts a happy sort of sigh. Anything, he'll do anything he's asked when this is the reward! It reminds him of sleeping in a literal dogpile. "My deepest apologies to you, love." He says, a little dazed.

And he's met with the tightest squeeze Kazuichi can muster. He feels as if his entire body was lit on fire. He called him 'love'. How could he say that so easily with no reason or build up?! It's not fair, he can't be saying things like that out of nowhere. "...you're forgiven." He mutters, pressing his heated face into Gundham's neck.

"I feel forgiven," he chuckles, lifting his head to give Kazuichi more room, "I feel utter salvation."

Kazuichi glances up at him the best he can without moving. "You do seem happier compared to early." Gundham's tone is a lot lighter than usual. Not bad, just different in a way that makes him not entirely sure if he really wants to ruin it. "...is the hug really that good?"

"Yes," he breathes, and it's not completely a lie - although the source of his good mood is elsewhere, this doesn't feel bad at all. It's definitely helping. Even if he did come by miserable, this would be nice. He's not even really hugging back, he's just enjoying the knees locked behind his back and arms crossed giving honestly pretty even pressure. "You are delivering unto me a cleansing not unlike one I would have received from my brothers and sisters as sustaining heat in the black of winter's night."

"Then I guess I won't stop." Okay, setting aside how attractive Gundham sounds like that, is squeezing the life out of him really that good? Not that he thinks he can keep it up quite as long as Gundham would like. Eventually he'll get too sore and he'll have to let up. "I mean, if you like it that much."

" Yes~ " he hisses with a laugh, one that starts genuine and turns into a dark cackle. "Aahaha! Yes! Feed me!"

If he could squeeze any harder, he probably would. "Shut up or I'll start biting."

"Fuhahahahaha! Show me your strength! Bathe me in your warmth!" Gundham opens his arms and leans back onto the bed until he's on his back and finally begins to reciprocate, squeezing with all his pent-up might.

Despite the embarrassment in his chest, Kazuichi does like this. He likes seeing Gundham act so...playful. He likes clinging to him like this. But he does still grumble, feeling himself being crushed in much the same way he imagines Gundham must feel right now. He almost calls him a weirdo but he's scared it'll make him stop so he just makes a show of biting him in such a way that he's only just shy of breaking skin.

"Ow," that hurts way more than he thought it would, and it makes his blood pressure spike so hard he's afraid he might pass out, the prickly feeling it causes across his skin from the point outward. It falters his grip for only a second, though, before he reaches up and grabs at Kazuichi's hair and scratches the back of his head through it, "Little vampire!"

There might've been some feeling of accomplishment if it wasn't stolen away from him with such a simple touch. A completely unfair advantage. Kazuichi grumbles, lightly and halfway to some kind of growl, as he opens his mouth and lets the skin detach from his teeth. If he wasn't worried Gundham would be opposed to bleeding, he probably would've chewed a bit more, opting for a softer bite to replace it and allow him that luxury.

Gundham bristles slightly. Oh, that's a weird feeling. Being as close as he is, Kazuichi definitely feels his dick jump. "I've never had a beast with teeth like yours release me with any tenderness, how dare you show me weakness!"

He rolls his eyes, letting himself chew on him for a little while longer before pulling off to reply. "If you don't want me being nice, you shouldn't pet me like that." He hates to admit it (in a way, there's some insecurity around given how sadistic he was in the past, but he's not one to deny his desires) but he'd happily leave some aggressive looking bite marks were he permitted.

Gundham scratches him rougher at the tease like one might scruff up a big dog. "You consider me something to coddle, do you? Hm?"

"No. You're pretty tough..." He grumbles even though he leans into the touch. He just...likes being nice! Being gentle is good sometimes!

He snickers and peppers kisses all over Kazuichi's cheeks and temple, the side of his head, his jaw - and tries his hand at that biting thing, even though his teeth are much more blunt and his form is poor. Kazuichi gasps gently, pulling himself up ever so slightly to make it easier for him to reach. Sure, it isn't as dangerous as when he does it, but it's certainly still nice. 

"See, you can bite basically as hard as you want and you won't do nearly as much damage..."

"I don't know, the blossom of blood upon your form I had left before is quite bold. The damage is simply beneath the skin rather than atop it. I have the power to turn you purple..." Gundham snorts and bites again, moving down toward Kazuichi's shoulder, pushing his shirt aside with his nose and digging his teeth down into the meat of his body. Hm. This isn't as interesting as Kazuichi makes it out to be.

"Y-Yeah...but that's easy. I could make holes if I really wanted to." He adjusts his arms and reinstates his grip, humming in a shaky and awkward way. If Gundham wasn't laying on top of his legs, he probably would have squirmed.

"Easy but quite effective a mark. Plus, no chance of deadly infection." Not that he especially cares that much about such things. "Does it bother you?" Gundham asks, feeling the tension in Kazuichi and backing off.

"N-No..." Not at all. "I think we've established that I...really like this kind of stuff."

"Simply because your body reacts does not mean I am free to exhaust it to my whim. You hardly ate, you know..."

Kazuichi wants to scoff but instead he just huffs and lays his head on his shoulder again. "What does me eating have to do with anything?"

"Y– I don't know! Physical exertion?! What if your essence flees your form?" He sighs and pats him on the back, grunting as he sits himself back up.

"I'll be just fine. I'll just eat you if I get super hungry." Kazuichi stretches out his legs now that he has the chance to. 

Gundham laughs again. "...I have carrots in my pockets, if you want them."

"Should I feel complimented you want to feed me like your soldiers?"

"Yes?" Obviously. "You are in your home environment, and so gathering your own food should be of very little concern, but sometimes to provide a treat is a good feeling for both the gift giver and the receiver."

...he doesn't think he really understands that but he supposes he's not against being fed. "Well, if you want me to have it instead...assuming we didn't squish your pocket carrots already."

"My soldiers have their pellets," he says, haughtily, and goes rummaging around...only to find he doesn't actually have them. They'd fallen out onto the bed, something he notices when his hand passes by something cold and slightly clammy in the sheets.

Kazuichi watches him as best as he can in the dark, such a thing a bit harder now that he's so well covered up. His light skin tends to stand out a bit so he can at least make him out, but it's harder with his coat. "...did I do something to deserve room temperature carrots?" It's partly a tease. Partly.

"...Nevermind, you are correct. Apologies." He stuffs it back in his pocket. "Promise me you will eat supper?"

Kazuichi pouts. "But I want it..." the carrot itself, maybe not, but he wants what the carrot represents.

"Do you? Hold on, fine," He digs it out and stuffs it into his mouth, getting…most of the pocket lint off of it before he starts poking it around in the dark. (Why is this fun? It shouldn't be.)

"You didn't need to slobber on it." Kazuichi frowns, taking Gundham's wrist to steady him so he can lean forward and take a bite. Though...if he was to eat anything covered in someone else's saliva, a carrot is probably one of the better options.

Gundham shrugs and goes picking hair off his tongue with his free hand. "As if you are not already accustomed." He grumbles. This is far less gross than any number of things he has to put up with in order to be in contact with his soldiers on a daily basis.

He nips his fingers as he takes the rest from Gundham, squeezing him with his legs. "Still could've just brushed it clean." Not that he would've completely rejected it just because it had a little hair on it. He rarely gets presented the opportunity to be hand fed. "But I guess a treat is still a treat."

"Mm," he knows he shouldn't poke around in there while Kazuichi is chewing, but his fingers are right there, right next to his teeth. He lets him swallow a total of once before he goes in. "...Apologies, what was that?" He's too busy feeling the points of his teeth.

Kazuichi pauses. He's starting to wonder if his teeth are really that interesting. He gets that they're kind of a defining feature now but… "...nothing." He mutters, leaning forward and opening his mouth slightly so that he can better feel. Maybe he shouldn't encourage Gundham randomly sticking his fingers in his mouth but it's not like it feels bad having him so...interested? Or perhaps enthralled?

Gundham lets it slide, the non-explanation. This time. He continues to prick himself on the teeth, just enough to stick and undoubtedly leave little marks on his fingertips. "Mm," he hums again, "you smell." The teeth bite down on his fingers. "Ach—" he knows better than to let his instinct take control and rip his hand away when it's in the maw of a massive beast. He stays calm and waits for Kazuichi to release him. He's definitely bleeding, as hard as he was already pressing himself against the points. "You know not what diseases I possess." As if he hasn't played around in his blood before. "Release me, beast, you've had your dark thirst quenched."

Kazuichi hums, an unsatisfied sound, as he licks at the small amount of blood he can feel. He hadn't meant to bite him that hard but...oh well. He lets up with his teeth but doesn't pull away just yet. He hates that he's been thinking about it, he does, but he hadn't realised he actually missed the way he tasted. "Maybe next time, don't insult me with your fingers in my mouth." He grumbles yet still leans closer.

There's that jump again - Gundham pulls his middle finger across his face, smearing whatever's still left on it onto Kazuichi's cheek. Blood? Maybe. Spit? Definitely. "I am faced with Komodo's Dragon...surely the stench's origin is the flesh-eating bacteria that coats the evil teeth and tongue..." He can't see well, but he can feel the way Kazuichi comes closer and he leans in to meet him without really thinking, their foreheads touching and noses brushing.

"There isn't a toothbrush in here! I usually do it after showers..." He grumbles as he wipes his cheek clean. And now that they're together again, he's fairly certain he has to be forced out of the room to do it at all. "Maybe...if you'll give me a reward I'll head to my room for five minutes and do it."

"A reward..." Gundham hums, thoughtfully, "I have something in mind. But five minutes is your exact limit."

Kazuichi narrows his eyes, sceptical as to whether or not he really came up with anything at all, but at the very least he'll stop complaining about it. "Okay, I promise I'll be back real fast." He slides off of his lap and Gundham can hear him walk across the room. He opens the door, light in the room for a moment as he closes it behind himself slowly.

Even if the reward is nothing at all...it's at least a good way to get him clean.

Chapter Text

Five minutes is more than enough to dump the rest of his pockets into the hamster cages and take his coat off, folding it up and setting it over the back of the chair before he turns the lights back off, sits back down, and sort of...situates himself in such a way that he's ready to receive Kazuichi back into his lap. And also maybe is posed a little...provocatively? Gundham’s not entirely sure how to do it, but. Legs apart, reclined slightly. One foot up on the bed, knee bent? Ah, no, too much, put that back down...

Kazuichi finds himself rather happy to brush his teeth in exchange for some kind of external benefit. Sure, cavities don't seem fun and he hates the way his mouth feels when he hasn't brushed in a while...but even just a good job seems like way better motivation than any of that. Despite the hallway being empty, he's still mindful about being seen going into Gundham's room without even knocking. He's never really felt the need to sneak around before any of this so if anyone did see him he would definitely seem suspicious but he can't say he minds keeping up this privacy for a little while longer...

Gundham has sort of situated himself on the bed, reclined with his legs slightly apart in a way that invites Kazuichi back into his lap. He’s already taken off his coat. Kazuichi tries to memorise the room and Gundham's position in the brief moment of light the room as, shutting the door quietly before padding his way back to the bed. He climbs back into the other’s lap, wrapping his arms around him and resting his head on his chest while still looking up at him. "All done. Used some mouthwash too."

The heart against his ear is absolutely racing with nervous excitement. Surely he'd at least feel a little less nervous by now? Surely he'd at least know what to do when he settles into his lap? But he doesn't - Gundham just pulls his hands around Kazuichi's waist and holds his hips firmly, trying to steady his breath. "Come closer." He says, finally, quietly, tilting his chin up.

Kazuichi smiles. How wonderful two simple words can sound. He wonders if he'll ever stop liking it so much. He pulls himself up, settling higher on his thighs so he can lean their foreheads closer only for Gundham to steal a kiss before the position is even settled. "So do I taste and smell better now?"

"I would have tasted you either way. I simply wanted to see if you would follow an order." He says between his kisses, "On command with only the vaguest of future plans in your mind's eye. Even if it were my own blood waiting for me."

Gundham can feel how Kazuichi's smile falters, flustered. Maybe he is following what he says a little too easily but he doesn't need to point it out. "It's not like I had a preference for what it would be..." As if that's really a defence for himself.

"Is this acceptable, then?" He asks, his thumbs staying hooked on Kazuichi's hip bones while he slides his fingers down his lower back - he'd intended to go for his ass, honestly, but he stops short, tilting his head with genuine curiosity.

"...yeah." Hell, he would've accepted a few heated kisses as his reward and have been done with it, but if Gundham in his overly pleased mood has decided he wants to be touchy, who is he to say no? "I was...kind of expecting nothing but a pat on the head but this is good too."

Gundham gives a little bit of an amused noise and shrugs, "You needn't do anything for a pat on the head. But to ask, perhaps, anyway."

"...then you should do it more." Kazuichi mumbles as he kisses his jaw. One of the hands low on his body moves up to his hair, pats around until he finds his forehead, and combs his fingers back through his hair, pulling strands from his face and petting him gently. Akin to how he would a kitten, careful fingers tracing his part.

"I'll treat that as a request for your sake," Gundham says, his voice low to match the mumble pressed against him. "Anytime you like."

He hates how that makes his chest squeeze, how his ears burn. Gundham makes it sound so easy but it's not like he wants to ask to be pet. That's embarrassing, especially with how much he already finds himself enjoying the motion. So Kazuichi whines, kissing down to gently pull at the skin on his neck with his teeth. "You're teasing a lot today..."

"I don't mean to." He says, genuinely, feeling his face begin to warm back up - is touching more teasing? Or is it teasing less, giving him something tangible? He's not sure. He pulls a curious hand down anyway, tips of his fingers curling under a cheek, kneading him gently, slowly. "I do not use my powers of mind reading on you. When I ask, I truly wish to know. For example, is this okay?"

Kazuichi secures his arms around him, his squeeze not quite as forceful as it could be but comfortable. "Very..." He mutters into his neck. "And...for the record...teasing isn't a bad thing..."

Gundham gives a low hum and chuckles a little, leans his head back, continues to grope at Kazuichi's ass. Between them muttering to each other, he listens to his own heart beat strongly in his ears, throbbing in his head. "Ah, so what you mean is 'you're extremely attractive today', then, isn't that it? So allergic, are you, to being kind? …as am I."

"N-Now you're putting words in my mouth...!" But is he really wrong? Him being upset with the teasing is more just...him being upset that Gundham's flirting with him and it's working. It just feels more comfortable to get annoyed than it does to just sit there asking for more. "I tell you you're attractive sometimes, don't I?"

"I've found great pleasure so far in putting things into your mouth." Gundham’s hard again, but he's not quite doing anything with it. His hips are still, the pace of his hands staying leisurely and calm. Just enjoying himself. "You do. Begrudgingly," he sighs out and pets his hair a little more before cupping his jaw. There's so much running through his head, but... well. If they say what they like while they're alone, or while they're intimate, with the knowledge between them that it's true but it doesn't need to be further addressed, then...maybe he can say what he likes? "You can be sweet."

"Of course I can be." Kazuichi pouts at him despite the fact he can't be seen. "Who's the one calling you cute and handsome? I'm not saying it for no reason..." And every time he does let it slip, he finds it easier and easier to admit. He does enjoy knowing he's making Gundham feel good, even with gentle words.

"You know, I had no idea you thought such things. I..." he pauses, breathes. "Sometimes I'm unsure to what degree you've really been subject to my magic all along."

"And what's that supposed to mean? Now is the worst time to go confusing me..."

Gundham gives a sort of an awkward shrug - he hadn't said any more because he really wasn't sure how to elaborate, but...if it's necessary, then he'll try. He sucks on his bottom lip while he thinks, both of his hands slowing to a stop. "Many times I have stopped back at the spring to renew my strength while in your line of fire. Each time, though perhaps the circumstances forbade otherwise, you have powered back through the blighted forest to my very core and delivered yourself back to me." He explains it so innocently, like this is 'just' all that he meant - no big deal.

And that makes even less sense! Kazuichi huffs, leaning up to kiss him as his hands ball up around his shirt. "You can't be fancy when you've already fried half my brain." He complains, though he sounds less annoyed and more genuinely saddened by having a hard time deciphering him. "That's just not fair..."

"Try not to worry, love." He takes the kiss happily - normally he's also pretty perturbed by people he believes to know him not finding his words so easy to deconstruct, but he's in a good mood, oddly enough. In a lovely mood. He squeezes the cheek in his lower hand. A mood so nice that he smiles into the kiss, "It is only another spell you will unravel with time," and nestles his nose beside the other's.

There it is again, that nickname. It makes Kazuichi feel things but he can't pinpoint where or what. It makes him hotter, makes him squeeze, and makes him relax all at once. He wants to tell him to stop but also finds himself waiting to hear it again. "...how many spells did you cast on me?"

Gundham actually makes an attempt to count. How many different times had he started to use new and more infuriatingly confusing words, just so that he had a chance to throw Kazuichi off of his trail? How many times had this little smartass bested him enough that he actively changed his behavior to cover for it? Well. In high school, once. Out of it, once more. Within the Program, once again...and now he teeters on the edge. So he answers conservatively: "Thrice, I have altered my magical signature. I could do so again, soon, if I desired. If I desired."

"Please don't. I don't want to start from square one again."

"I don't plan on it. Not for you. Even if it were to expose to our enemies my weakness," he seems to really consider that, frowning against Kazuichi's lips and stealing a peck before he continues, "my only goal would then be to maintain you. Your safety. Your comfort. Though I do believe your mind would always find the locus of mine."

There's a moment between them as Kazuichi lets that sink in. How sweet it sounds, how much he likes when he's accommodating. It seems far too good to be true despite how kind he knows Gundham to be. "You've been making me sound super special lately." He says as he litters kisses here and there.

"Do you doubt my declarations' genuine nature?"

"...no." Which is what makes Kazuichi feel so strange. He has no doubt that Gundham views him in higher or perhaps just different regard than he does others, yet he still finds himself embarrassed every time. There is a small tinge of anxiety. A part of him worried he'll give his heart to only have it torn apart...yet Gundham need only give him one or two words of praise to be allowed to crush him beneath his heel. "...I just...don't usually get called special."

"There was a time in which I denied it," he admits, "but even then it was an active decision to strip you of the respect I did assume you were deserving of. It was an act of violence I committed against many." And still sort of does. He knows he could be a little nicer to people and not make fun of them for being human quite so much, but...he's taking it at his own pace. He pulls his fingers through Kazuichi's hair one more time and then uses his hand to adjust the position of the hips against his, guiding him to spread his knees and sit a little heavier upon him, holding him close enough that their stomachs never break contact. "It is a shame, but mortals often misidentify the true threats to their beings...it is a defense mechanism. For when they know there is a danger to their very existence so strong that no amount of battle waged could turn the tide of the war in their favor, they instead turn their eyes away from it."

Which...Kazuichi deeply understands. He knows he's still very much practicing it too, yet he has no desire to think about it very much right now. He relaxes all his weight into Gundham, kissing from his cheek to his neck and back again to give himself an excuse to not speak too much. "Then I'm happy you decided to be nicer to me..."

Gundham bathes in the silence with a low hum. This one feels better than the last ones. He's more confident in it. He places pressure on Kazuichi's behind, holding their hips close together. Something sandwiched between them shifts excitedly. "I would never have lasted long, even if I had tried."

The other makes a low noise, his kisses slowing but remaining enthusiastic. He doesn't mind this approach...holding each other close and being able to watch the descent into their intimacy. "Still... I'm grateful..."

"You are welcome." He says, his words very deeply genuine despite sounding a little self-centered. He's grateful, too. He's grateful to himself for allowing this. He's grateful to Kazuichi for indulging him, even if just sometimes. He ventures not a lift of his hips, but a slow circular motion, instead, experimental. He could live with this, he decides. It is something he had decided once before, too, seeing the sparkle of something almost-affectionate deep in Kazuichi's eyes alongside the sadistic glee while he continues to be bled. And he doesn't rescind that one, either, necessarily. He could live with either. He really could. And Kazuichi hums into his skin, tightening his grip for a moment and letting his lips fall out of rhythm as he attempts to mimic the movement. They'd been so heated before...and now his body temperature remains that boiling hot yet the actions and sounds are far more restrained. Not that he's trying to hold himself on a leash, but he finds it so much easier to relax and go with the gentle tide when they're like this. He's just as excited as he always is, but being hand fed the attention so carefully has him falling in line with it.

He finds...perhaps...he can label this feeling. Perhaps he knows exactly what he'd like to call it and everything it surrounds. He can hear it on his lips so clearly as he closes his eyes and as his kisses become lazy...yet it's choked. Shoved away for later. How could he ruin a moment like this with something far too confronting. He's not ready for that. But he wants this. The gentle and affectionate embrace they're sharing. He wants Gundham to steal his breath with a cliche or perhaps by simply telling him to hand it over. It feels right. And so much easier to fall into his arms like this.

Gundham goes places he hasn't yet while he hums encouraging sounds into the mouth still closed before him: the place just between the bottom of Kazuichi's ribs and his back, just to the left of the bottom angle of his shoulder blade, the dip right where his skull and spine meet. The side of his upper thigh, the top of it, and the stripe from hip to knee with his other hand. They're all still underneath clothes, but the shapes still fill out an image in his mind. Good enough. Besides, there's something nice about the fabric between them. Keeps him from grabbing, frantic. Keeps him calm. Both of their mouths fall silent and still, just lips set against each other while they both breathe and focus on other sensations. It's not intense, just new. He feels Kazuichi mouthing and assumes he wants another kiss, planting one on his chin just below his bottom lip. Sweet thing, despite it all, isn't he...

The hum he lets out is higher in pitch. Kazuichi can't keep his eyes open very long between all the touches. It's relaxing yet all so electrifying. He knows he could have so much more yet he's patient today with each new kiss he's given. How nice it is to feel hands explore him. He lets his own slip under Gundham's shirt, letting his fingers explore until they find scars they can trace. There are plenty. His stomach has short stripes here and there. His chest has more. Some are just tiny bumps, only a centimeter long, and others stretch from the middle of one pectoral and all the way out over his shoulder. Some of them are years and years old. Some of them are still pink and irritated at the touching, but not once does the steady rhythm of Gundham's breath falter or hitch. If it hurts him at all, he gives no indication whatsoever. Kazuichi lets his hands explore every bump and dip across Gundham's torso. He remaps them all in his mind, forgetting the origins of some of them for now. The shirt rides up in the process until he pushes it comfortably out of the way as much as possible without pulling away.

He’s rewarded with a breathless sound and a sigh on its tail end that gets lost in their heavy breathing. Only now does Gundham try for something deeper, lathing his tongue generously over a sliver of his bottom lip with a follow-up noise. Kazuichi shivers, leaning his head up so that he can respond to the request by licking him back. They share an open-mouthed kiss until they dare to let their tongues meet. There's a content hum in his throat as his teeth are traced, allowing for a moment of exploration before he closes his mouth enough so that his tongue is forced to pull through the gap and graze each point just to move.

Gundham didn't think he'd like this this much - Kazuichi's tongue is quickly becoming one of his favorite toys. He really and truly would have taken him even if he tasted like stale morning breath and blood, but the fading mint is nice, too. His breaths stay steady in pace, but heavy in their volume. Sucked in with purpose and pushed out his nose with effort. He tests again just how far back the sharpened points go. He’d been doing well at keeping calm, but being pressed against the pit of spikes makes him keen and grunt and furrow his brow, sucking with a sudden wet noise at the trap and before he knows it, hears himself moaning again. He doesn't retreat. He keeps testing the limits, much like he'd done with his fingers earlier, although the surface of his tongue is so much softer and more delicate that instead of a dull pain up to a slight stinging prick, it's a dancing sharp sensation from the very moment he grazes the teeth to the moment he starts to taste how swollen he's making himself with each push in, lap, and drag back. He slows his touches as they reach Kazuichi's neck, both hands cupping the back of it as he peels away layers in a slow, very deliberate motion that lets his palms over as much space down his arms and back as he can cover.

Occasionally, Kazuichi's tongue comes up to meet his, but just having Gundham feel around is more than enough. Biting down gently now and again, sucking him in to draw him closer, every noise he manages to make is encouragement to continue. It feels almost too perfect. Being so close and leisurely as if they have all the time in the world to discover each other...he likes it even if the clothes feel too restrictive. He likes how Gundham kneads his skin and pauses when he finds what scars he does have. How the rocking of their hips almost seem completely forgotten as all their attention is drawn elsewhere but still completely on each other. How could he ever allow this to end?

It’s hot and quiet save for the rustle of their clothes and the sound of their breaths. Time seems to completely disappear until Gundham starts to feel the tang of overkissed and overbitten lips and tongue. He's most definitely leaked a thorough spot in his trousers, something he only fully notices once he shifts just a little and the cool air of the room finally touches it. He pulls himself out of Kazuichi's mouth and gives a low, long, open-mouthed groan as he holds the other's hips just a tad away from his. The release of all of the pressure has him flexing repeatedly in his pants. Really, he's not trying to hump, and his hips aren't especially mobile in this position, anyway. They've just been sitting, kissing, touching, groaning long enough that every little extra feeling has his dick jumping. He'd already cum once today, it doesn't feel like he should be this desperately oversensitive, but something about how exceedingly different all of this feels to last time must have his body mixed up. His head certainly is convinced that whatever it is they're doing now, it's something entirely different to before. He smooths his hands over Kazuichi's stomach now that he has just enough room to do so. His eyes have adjusted enough that he can see the colorless shapes of the body on top of his. His toes are tingling. His head is thrumming. He doesn't have anything to say or maybe the haze that's fallen over him keeps him from trying to use his abused tongue for speech. Could be either one.

When he wants him back, Gundham grabs hold of either side of the fabric bunched at Kazuichi's pelvis and pulls him in again, this time with the aim of pressing their arousals purposefully together. Kazuichi moans with the contact. Audible, but only to those in the room. Only for Gundham to hear despite how much he wants to rip his own clothes off. He finds it so hard to want for anything when he's being offered stimulation and he can busy himself with giving his neck more attention.

"What do you need?" Gundham finally slurs a little, trying not to shiver too much as he shakily reaches to pull at his scarf and give as much access as possible. "Anything you need."

Kazuichi drags his teeth down until he reaches the collar of his shirt. How could he make him think right now? It's too good to ruin it with his usual pleas. "Your hands...on my skin." He bites gently and pulls. It's all so slow but it's not at all agonising. He finds he doesn't need any of this to feel desperate to still feel completely entranced in the moment. "Touch me a bit more."

The request is granted with no hesitation, all he has to do is pull his tank top up and his pants down. He releases him, but doesn't grasp him. Just pulls his hand from the spot just above his shaft over his stomach, feeling his ribs through his flesh. "Ach," Gundham gasps, "ah, Kazuichi."

How strange it is to hear his name said like that. How soft and turned on he sounds because of him...he should say it more. Kazuichi hums, kissing him as his skin settles back into its natural position out from between his teeth. "...do you need something too?"

Gundham needs a lot of things. He needs time, mostly. He needs time to go by and he needs for wounds to heal and he needs for Kazuichi to grow closer to him. But he's waited this long. He'll keep waiting. "I like hearing you speak," he says, embarrassingly flustered.

"Yeah?" He can hear how he smiles, leaning up closer to his ear. Is it a bad thing he feels comfortable enough to put them both at the same level right now? "What kinds of things would you like me to say?"

"Oh, gods," he groans. He can think of a million. None of them are ones he can actually truly imagine Kazuichi saying aloud, though. "Ah, tch, uh... a-anything."

It's disappointing to not be given any direction, but cute enough he's not turned off by it. Kazuichi kisses just below his ear before pushing himself up for a brief moment to pull his shirt off completely. "Well...I do like this." He admits as he lays back down. "You feel nice...and you sound nice...I want to stay here."

Gundham lifts his own shirt over his head and lets it lie somewhere in the sheets with his scarf balled up in it. Doesn't matter. He doesn't care. He grabs at him as he returns. He gets what he wants anyway, though, which...is surprising. Makes him feel odd. "You'd stay with me? You'd place yourself in the court of rime to be near to the frozen heart?"

"Why not?" Kazuichi lets his hands run down until they reach his thighs. "I like how cold your hands are and you don't seem cold-hearted at all." With him being so caring when it matters most, he could never consider him that. Perhaps a little adverse at times, but not frozen over. "...would you like it if I managed to melt it just a bit?"

Gundham's otherwise very steady breathing appears to break a little. Stutters, slightly. He's turned on, yes, very, but he also feels his face burn, his eyes sting, his stomach tighten. Some terrible magic is being cast on him, but he likes it. He wants the pain it causes. The pang in his heart - that's what it is, isn't it? Melting. He's melting. "Please. Please," he breathes out, "I'd like you to stay. I'd happily house the flame within my being."

Kazuichi hums a satisfied sound as he circles his hips. "Good. I want to stay." He assures, letting his lips return to his neck and travel down to his collarbone. This...is easy, actually. He finds it so easy to put his thoughts into words, vague truths he would otherwise hesitate to offer. He feels safe enough to tell him. Mindless enough to not worry about what it all might mean when the moment passes. "I want to make you feel so hot that you can't describe it...you take words away from me so easily so I want to do it to you too."

"Mmh," he pulls his hands over the other’s warm skin, over his back, his ribs, the underside of his arms. Holds him close. He does feel hot. He feels hot, he feels warm, he feels– "You make me feel real."

"You're very real..." He brings one hand up to scratch his hair. Kazuichi doesn't think he'd truly ever know what that means...but it's nice to hear nonetheless. He must be doing something right. "And I like it. You're loud, but you're super cute."

"I don't always feel that way," Gundham says, his voice a little wet. No, he's fine. He pulls in a deep breath and forces it down. Everything is okay. Everything is good. The sting dies down as some confidence swells in him. That's what he should be getting out of this: he should be feeling confident. This is all good to hear. "Thank you," he continues, quietly, purring under the touch, lifting his hips just slightly, "release me, beloved?"

...it's not fair that the only nicknames he's ever been given are all so affectionate. It makes them seem infinitely more special than any of the specific names he's granted to others. He says them with no regard for how they make Kazuichi feel...how his heart is pulled and his desires start feeling so simple. He pouts, kissing his Adam's apple. "Do I have to? I'm having fun right where I am."

"I meant my member," he mumbles, swallowing under Kazuichi's lips, his throat bobbing.

"Oh~" he teases, nipping his skin as his fingers slip just below the hem of his pants. "I should do that, shouldn't I?"

"Tch," he hisses, "I will receive my pleasure regardless," he says stubbornly, but his hips shift anyway like he's trying to shimmy himself out of his pants.

"See? That's why you're cute..." Kazuichi pulls his hands out, pressing one against his hard-on instead. It's not direct touch, but it's still been a while since he felt it in his own hand. "Does it hurt?"

"You can not hurt me." he tries to bring his voice back down and make it sound assertive despite the shake still to it. It does feel uncomfortable, and considering he's wearing no underwear, he's chafing a bit against the inside of his jeans. "But it doesn't feel good." Hold on, the 'cute' suddenly hits him and he sputters, "H-How…why do you speak nonsense?!"

Kazuichi laughs, squeezing him lightly. "It's not nonsense if it's true." And his reaction only serves his point. He can't help but tease, he feels too happy and too comfortable to stop whatever thoughts float to the surface. He pulls himself up and bites his earlobe. "Do you need me to kiss it better?"

The idea of Kazuichi's mouth anywhere near his dick makes Gundham lightheaded in a very good way. "Kiss, he says, as if his maw is not a pit of spikes that I have already nearly been minced within once before..."

"Awh~ I can be careful. I know how to kiss without teeth." He seems to demonstrate by giving an open-mouthed kiss to his jaw and licking the spot. "But if you don't want me to..."

"I want you to," he says very quickly, a grumble to his voice as he reaches up to hold his shoulders. He had gone with the intent to push him down, but he massages him instead.

And Kazuichi feels himself shiver. He likes hearing Gundham as desperate as he is sometimes. He gives him one last peck on the lips before trailing his kisses down, stopping at his stomach and grabbing either side of his pants. "I'll try not to make you cum too early, okay?"

"Ugh," he puts both hands into Kazuichi's hair and tries not to grip too hard. The tent in his pants twitches again, nudging his upper chest if he leans in too much. "I'll cum when I please, thank you."

"Preferably into my mouth." He kisses below Gundham’s belly button before finally pulling his jeans down and off, tossing them onto the floor somewhere and taking him into his hand as he settles down between his legs. He takes a moment to just map out the area with his hands, giving him a few slow strokes as his other hand figures out where exactly his legs have settled. It feels like a lifetime since he's been in this position and while he's fairly confident he can replicate his memories, he'd still like to take a moment to get comfortable. And he doesn't mind being given the occasional tug on his hair. But he does lean in, his breath hitting the skin before his tongue does. He drags it up to the tip before going over the trail of saliva with a line of kisses.

Gundham hisses and his thighs shudder. If he's not very careful, he may be in real danger. He breathes out, slowly, bracing himself against the scalp under his hands. If Kazuichi weren't holding him, his dick would have found its own way to his mouth, because it throbs intensely in his grip. He's uncut, but doesn't have quite enough slack to cover him completely - hard, there's still a bit of his flushed head that can't stay stuffed into his foreskin. "Fah…" he gasps and fills his lungs, slowing down his heartbeat, petting Kazuichi's hair to steady himself. When his lips reach the tip, Kazuichi’s kiss lingers. He presses his tongue against him, massaging the rest of his shaft as he lets a few centimetres sit in his mouth, using his lips as as much of a barrier from his teeth as he can manage. He'd like to suck him off properly, he wants to hear what other noises he can pull out of Gundham, but he's being mindful of the danger for now. It would be too big of a loss for the both of them if he hurt him like that. But Gundham’s getting lightheaded again, he needs to breathe, but there's something about the idea of drawing in a breath that concerns him, like it might break him. Like if he lets himself have that weakness then everything else will just completely fall apart. He's doing his very best to keep himself quiet, squirming a little, muscles in his thighs tightening.

He lets his tongue circle for a while before pulling back. His hand squeezes, spitting onto him and stroking him at a moderate pace. "Come on..." Kazuichi pouts. "You made me scream for you and now I get barely anything in return?"

Still no sound, but Gundham's back arches and his head tilts back, one foot coming up to the bed to balance his heel on the edge of the mattress, letting out a sharp breath. He can't speak. He can't speak...

Kazuichi squeezes harder, resting his head on his thigh. "Please? I like your voice."

"You don't want to bear witness to the...curses that would...that I would spill," he relaxes back against the mattress, a wave of sweat breaking out over him. If Kazuichi wants him to feel hot, he's making it happen.

"But I do..." He turns and drags his teeth over his thigh. "I want to hear you. It'll tell me I'm doing a good job."

"It feels good," he says through grit teeth, brow furrowed tightly at how much focus he's placing into his words. Kazuichi's face is warm against his leg. He wants it closer. Even if he wasn't sucking him off, he'd want to feel his cheeks on his skin. "You're doing well. You're very gentle. You're so gentle."

"And you like gentle?" He lets go to adjust his position, one hand pressed against the mattress to steady him as the other holds Gundham's hip. "Want me to slow down?" He asks as he leans in again, licking him as slowly as he can be bothered. "Drag it out?"

"I like–" Kazuichi's tongue is so hot, "when you're gentle. To me. Oh. F...fuck. I..."

He hums, delighted as he presses wet kisses all across him. "Then I'll keep being gentle with you." He whispers against him. "You're pretty like this..."

Gundham cups the side of his head, curling his fingers into his hair. If he weren't so despicably feverish, he might be able to think straight, but as it is, he's putting his all into picking his words carefully, his inhibitions running dangerously thin. "I can't fathom what has infiltrated your mind..."

Kazuichi laughs quietly. "Your magic, obviously." As if that wasn't what they'd both been saying for a while now. "...but I also just really want to hear you so turned on that you forget your fancy words."

"That's not possible." The reprieve is nice. The moment is sweet. He likes the laugh, he likes that he's being forced to really listen to it, his eyes staring into nothing in the dark. "I told you. I don't speak the human tongue."

He rests his lips on him and hums, letting the sound vibrate through his skin. It's not that Kazuichi wants to break him. He wants to get him feeling so good that he doesn't need his fancy metaphors. He wants to hear him when he doesn't have the ability to think too hard. Shutting him off in the same way his own mind shuts off would feel like an achievement. "Then I'll just have to be so good you can only beg." He takes a few centimetres more than before into his mouth, letting his tongue explore around him as he experiments with some gentle sucking.

Gundham relaxes a little underneath him and gives a quiet moan at his words in encouragement, as he's not squirming like a madman anymore and still needs to get across his excitement somehow (as if the cock in Kazuichi's hand isn't enough). "I..." He wants to be brought to that point. He does. "I wish you luck, truly, I do~" The change in pressure around him has him slowly ramping back up into total disrepair, "You have so much you could achieve..."

Kazuichi has to stop himself from smiling at the sound, looking up at him despite the darkness. He drags his nails down his leg, moaning around him as he sinks a little lower. He kind of has to go slow. He's not at all an expert at this so keeping himself controlled is the best way to keep his teeth out of the way. At the very least he wants to take as much of him in as he possibly can.

"Khf–" Come on. Push him... "You…you vocalizing feels good," he encourages - if Kazuichi can wind him up into a dizzy spell that has him losing himself entirely he'd be grateful for the release, at least in the moment.

He squeezes his thigh. That...he wants to hear more of that. Kazuichi gets down halfway before comfortably pausing to breathe. He can feel the saliva escaping from his lips, just holding him there satisfying in its own way. But he does reach out, letting his fingers trace over what he's yet to attempt to take, humming as he sucks a bit harder.

"Just like this. Just like this, I've wanted something just like this," he mumbles, petting Kazuichi gently, twitching against his tongue. "To know you are there. You've–" he pulls in a deep breath, "done so well at being there…"

Kazuichi closes his eyes, letting the praise wash over him and freely moan and sigh against him. Gundham sounds so good all breathy. He slowly pulls himself up, stopping just shy of popping off completely before letting himself glide back down. Keeping his mouth open wide enough to avoid his teeth grazing is getting a little painful, but he's far more interested in providing Gundham with his experience so he doesn't find it in himself to care. He can feel the muscles in his legs tense, how the thighs either sigh of him shudder. Blunt fingertips scratch over Kazuichi's scalp, mussing and tangling his hair. Gundham unravels, being pulled apart so slowly.

"With me. I don't k-know why you stay. With me."

The only response he can get is in a hum. Part of him wants to pull back and reassure but...decides that can come later. Perhaps it's better to allow Gundham to get whatever he wants to say out without much interruption. Well...aside from how he grows a bit more confident in himself, pulling up and gliding down again as he sucks his cheeks in and swallows.

"You don't– even in...even when..."

Gundham groans, his thigh meeting Kazuichi's temple as he closes the propped-up leg, looking for feeling, looking for contact, looking for anything he can get. His bare leg is shaking. He smooths a hand that smells like Kazuichi's hair over his own face, pushing his own hair back, smudging his makeup without realizing he's done it. He's not there yet. He can hold on. He can hold on a little, just a little bit longer.

If Kazuichi could see his face right now, he'd surely burn it into his brain forever. Instead he'll keep the memory of his words. There's a small noise with each exhale, deciding to be bolder and see if he can take more in. He wraps his arms around Gundham's legs, sucking with a motion similar to when they kiss as his own cock begs for attention pressed into the mattress.

Gundham gives another low, long noise. He keeps moaning through until he interrupts himself with a dropped-open jaw, "I might cum…"

And he appreciates the warning, not that it will be any less sudden when it does happen, but Kazuichi squeezes his thighs. He clearly has no intentions of pulling away unless he's told to. Sure, it might mean he'll have to just jerk himself off while Gundham calms down but he has no objections as long as he finally feels it inside him. It's hot getting his chest covered, of course it is, but doing it this way means he doesn't need to clean up nearly as quickly. His movements grow faster, scratching his thighs as encouragement and attempting to sink himself even lower despite knowing that anything going straight into his throat probably isn't a great idea.

Each one of Gundham’s breaths is laced with a moan. Kazuichi doesn't let up, of course he doesn't, why would he, he's never let up. That's why he's here now. That's why he made it all the way, that's why he'd helped him, that's why he'd even fucking stood up for him. It's why he didn't spend a single night without knowing exactly where Kazuichi was, even when he couldn't even entirely be sure where the hell he was in all of the rubble and mess. He's still here. He's still here, and the hair in his fist is proof of it, the noises he's making against Gundham is proof, proof of fact that even after he's been scolded and humiliated and hurt because of him, even after Gundham's tried to tell him, tried to get him to run, he's here, he…he—

"I love you, I love you," he squeaks out and keens, the noise more like a croak than a moan, embarrassingly enough. He presses his thigh into Kazuichi's face, puts his heel on his back, curls his leg around him while he orgasms.

Kazuichi grips him hard, keeping himself still so as to not accidentally scratch him with his teeth as he’s held in place with a surprised and strangled groan. There's a few restrained coughs, but he does his best to hold what he can in and let the excess drip out over him. He swallows around him, awkwardly catching his breath and only pulling off when Gundham's legs relax and let him move.

I love you...

The way Gundham said that felt so raw and real. It grabbed at his chest and twisted his stomach. He liked it, he did. He liked the way he had sounded, he liked being held in place like that, and he liked having him be so unafraid to be honest. Was it right of him to say it back though? Is that really what this feeling is and does he deserve to accept it? He makes a noise, leaning back in to lick up what he couldn't swallow of the mess. He doesn't want to think about it now. He doesn't want to feel scared or anxious, he wants to just share in Gundham's feeling of bliss. So once he's clean of everything other than saliva, Kazuichi pulls himself up and kisses his jaw, gently tracing his side. He's grateful Gundham can't see his expression.

Chapter Text

Everything ends at once. One moment he's pulled so tight that he feels like he might scream, sitting up off the bed and holding Kazuichi close, huffing and panting and declaring himself bare for him, his voice high and broken and his body giving him everything that he has, and the next moment, he's lying back down, his grip has loosened, and every thought has exited his mind. The world is dark and silent outside of the heartbeat in his ears. Oddly, it's sort of what death feels like. Gundham sets a hand on his chest to make sure there's still something beating under there, and there is. In his ribcage, his heart thrums hard and fast. And then Kazuichi makes a sound. Around his still mostly-hard dick he licks and kisses and sucks and makes Gundham groan lowly. Kazuichi's still here. He’s still here, and he's close. He's so close. His head is filled with cotton, his veins are filled with lava. 

He pulls him up. Kazuichi straddles his hips as they lean in, holding each other's faces while they kiss. This is right. Kazuichi is not a man or a machine. He's a monster made of metal and fire. He's a star. Of course he fits so beautifully into Gundham's dark and endless void. Unafraid is an understatement to how he feels. He kisses him with vigour, but not the same sort as before. It's still gentle, it's still slow, it's still intense, it's still calm, but it has no itch behind it. This is an 'I love you', to him, just like so many actions before it had been. Gundham sucks at Kazuichi's bottom lip but makes no move to deepen the kiss any more, just stares into the dark in front of him where he knows the other is and mumbles another one against his lips, his voice soft but earnest and confident, "I love you."

Gundham can feel how those lips tremble, how he loses their rhythm for a moment before trying to catch up. Kazuichi can feel his throat dry. This is simple. This he understands. He understands wanting to give him whatever he desires in that moment, it's easy to indulge in the feeling of lightheadedness that comes with how heated they become. But hearing those words again, earnest as they are, forces his heart someplace else. He doesn't want to say it back because what if it's a lie? But what if saying nothing at all makes Gundham close up on him again?

It's too much, all of this is too much too fast and he tries so hard to ignore it and just indulge in it but he can't ignore such a bold confession like he can ignore touches and nicknames. He's scared. Not the same scared like he was with girls in middle school. The way he feels isn't the same way he felt about any of them and it's certainly not the same way he felt about Sonia. He's scared it's not what Gundham wants him to feel. He's scared it's not real and he's just excited or it's the lingering essence of what they had back when he took pleasure in making him scream. He's scared Gundham will leave him if he rejects him. He's scared Gundham will leave even if he embraces him. He can't tell if any of this high praise is bad or not because he can feel nothing but a clawing anxiety every time he's left with it for more than a second. He feels so happy with him when he doesn't have to think but...doesn't the fear mean something bad? And why does he hate to think it does and therefore he'll never have any of this again?

Kazuichi tries so hard to ignore it. He tries so hard to keep up with Gundham's good mood, but he has to pull away just to breathe and Gundham can feel tears hit his fingers. The fact that he's ruining it only makes him feel worse, resting their foreheads together as he struggles to make any sound at all, as if that would be drawing too much attention to his crying.

But the way his face contorts into a frown and fills with tears is not lost on Gundham. Not at all. In his mind's eye, Kazuichi is suddenly so small. He realizes it's been years since he's seen him cry like this - all except that one night in his room. And doesn't decide on something to say fast enough. He can feel Kazuichi shudder with shoved-down sobs. "I do," he whispers, rubbing his thumbs over the other's face, "I know. I know it's unfair." The tears are falling now in such a way that they're hitting Gundham's cheeks on their way to the floor, but he is not afraid. He has never been afraid in a moment like this. In all the ones leading up to them, perhaps, but once he has decided, it is final, it is eternal. Terror seeps into his very bones as he navigates these things, as he pulls social interactions like teeth, as he lets himself want. But once it's all settled, he knows. He understands. "You are not doomed to me. I do not need the words drawn from your throat or your heart from your ribs. I only needed you to know. That you have done things worth loving. You have done things to make me feel loved."

And that finally produces an audible sob, leaning into his hands for comfort. Kazuichi feels as if a spike has been shoved through him but relieved of his pain at the same time. To be loved without the expectation of it being returned in full. He doesn't feel like he's ever had that and he feels so guilty for wanting to take it all. Gundham doesn't need to reassure him but he does. He's being so nice right now that it hurts but he can't push him away. He likes the honesty and how unconditional it all sounds. It soothes insecurities and makes him want to break even more. He doesn't deserve it. Kazuichi wraps his arms around him, his body curling in on itself as he presses his face into his chest and lets out more pained sobs, all while still rubbing his cheeks against his palms so that they don't leave his face just yet. He wants to have this, he likes his affection too much yet even sitting there as he is he feels like he's being selfish by doing that. How can he accept Gundham's heart and give him nothing in return? How could Gundham offer it to him and say he needs no payment? How could someone grow to love him and not demand that exchange be made?

Gundham just holds him, swiping his thumbs over wet cheeks. "I am not your end." He reassures, swaying him very slightly, rocking the both of them side to side. He slips his wet hands from cheeks to the back of his neck to his shoulders, crossing his arms over Kazuichi's back, squeezing him gently. "This is not your end."

Kazuichi wishes there were clothes for him to grip onto instead of having to grab and nearly claw at skin as he tries to calm himself. It takes a while but his breathing does steady, and it takes longer for his tears to stop. But he doesn't move. He sits there in the silence trying to decide what he's meant to do now. "...I'm sorry," he comes to, leaning closer to his arms. "I know you don't...like dealing with me when I cry..."

Gundham's caught a little off guard at how Kazuichi apparently seems to just read his mind. He winces. "Your emotion hurts me not," he lies, pauses, and then backtracks, something a little closer to the truth: "...and if it did, it wouldn't mean you were disallowed to show it, anyway."

But he doesn't want to be in such need for comfort if it just makes Gundham uncomfortable. He doesn't want to force him into a position he doesn't want to be in and that includes calming him down. As nice as it is when he's held and as much as those words do mean something to him...being good at something doesn't mean he has to do it. "...it's still such a horrible reaction." Kazuichi mumbles, leaning in until he can bite his arm. It's barely anything, not even hard enough to mark, it's just soothing somehow. He sniffles, closing his eyes to try and convince himself not to start crying again. Gundham's so nice to him...so frustratingly perfect in some ways. He wants him to keep talking but how can he say that? The fact he must be sending painfully mixed signals right now just makes him feel worse.

"Ah, it's…it's only natural, so whether I enjoy it or not isn't relevant. Besides, ah..." Gundham releases Kazuichi just long enough to wave a hand dismissively - what is he supposed to say about that? 'Yes, I'd be much happier if you never cried'? It's sort of true, but it's not realistic... "Obviously it's not always bad."

Kazuichi shifts his legs so he can curl up properly, trying to focus on just the feeling of being in someone's arms but...failing. "I'm sorry." One of the many moments where he despises the fact he has no control over his own emotions. What else is there he can say anyway? Every other thought that comes to him is too heavy to place on him right now. Gundham's dealt with his problems once, he's not going to make him do it again.

He's not even chewing on him anymore, the situation must really be dire...

"Thank you?" Is that the right answer to that? Gundham scrunches his nose, "What apology am I accepting?"

Kazuichi's arms pull back, pressing his hands to his face instead. He's sorry for crying instead of reacting in quite literally any other way. He's sorry for ruining it and complicating things and being such a difficult person to deal with. For wanting his praise and comfort and to be made to feel special. For not being careful, for potentially leading him on, and being such a terrible choice to pour his love into. For as much as Kazuichi wants to be loved, he can't quite fathom someone would be able to in such a simple way. Without him having to hide or change and wanting him despite flaw without a catch. And it's made worse by the fact that he completely believes Gundham is telling him the truth. How can he love and be loved without even knowing what it really is?

With a grunt, Gundham sits himself up, and as a result, pushes Kazuichi into a sitting position, too. He sort of cradles his back to guide him but lets go after he's sure he's sat properly, propping himself up on both his palms on the mattress. He makes an uncomfortable noise as he thinks the situation over. He's not about to withdraw his confession. He's not sure if that's good or bad. "Kazuichi," he ventures, trying his best to sound stern and confident, "you have done enough."

Kazuichi swallows, gives himself time to try and prevent it turning into another round of painful crying, and leans forward to pull the blanket up over himself. He lets his hands sit in his lap, staring at the dark silhouettes the folds in the sheets create. "You really think so?" He whispers, strained with emotion.

Gundham sighs. As sad as it is, that's also sort of cute. "You said you would like to stay with me. That is enough of a reassurance as I need, regardless of the feeling that's involved. So long as it wasn't a lie, I'm satisfied."

"Okay." He nods and takes in a deep breath, holding it in his lungs for a nice long moment. He'll be okay, he just needs to sort this out when he's not emotionally exhausted. "...and you're going to stay with me too?"

"Yes. I'd like to pat your back reassuringly, but I no longer know where it is, so you remain unstruck for the time being."

He laughs gently, shuffling until he finds Gundham's hand and squeezing it gently. "Maybe you shouldn't have moved so far away then."

"You seemed as though you needed space." He leans down in and shuffles around in the dark until he can put his lips onto the knuckles. He likes the laugh, he likes it a lot. It makes him feel much better.

"No..." Kazuichi wishes he could see him. How he holds his hand gently and what his messy grey hair looks like as he kisses him. But perhaps it's better for his heart that he can't. "You should know the last thing I want is space..." He mumbles but given the circumstances he's perfectly audible. He often thinks space is the answer but he knows he gets nothing done when he lets it stew inside him like that. Even now, the only reason he's not running away is because he's petrified by the idea that if he did, he'd never have this again. So maybe...if Gundham is willing to stay and not have any of this change...he'll be able to give him an answer in time.

"I have placed strict limits around my mind-reading powers around other magical beings, in order to respect their higher states of being." Gundham huffs, "So no, I should not know. If I had probed to know, you would hold no more secrets at all."

"...well...now you do." Kazuichi moves closer, laying his head on his shoulder. It's strange being viewed in such high regard. He's been important before, but not like this. Not in a way that deemed him so because of who he was and not what he could do. He thought all his magic talk was so stupid for so long and yet here it is making him feel things. He sits there for a moment in silence. He wants a nap but he can't tell if that's a good idea or not. "I-I know I'm not...really good at communicating," he squeezes his hand. "And the way I act around trust is really confusing and kinda doesn't make any sense," well now he's just pointing out his flaws for no real reason, "...but I'm really shit at lying. So if you really want to know something...I'll probably tell you."

"Does it pain you?" Gundham asks quietly, his hand finding its way to Kazuichi’s back before he tries to clarify. "Uttering the language necessary to describe your conditions."

"Generally?" Kazuichi considers it, briefly. "Not really. But only because I don't think before I say anything." But there's another pause and he frowns to himself. "...but if I get nervous, that's when it gets harder. If I do think about things then I...just start worrying I'll say the wrong thing because I usually do. A-And even when it is easy to describe, sometimes it's not really an accurate picture because I'm saying what I think I'm meant to say without considering what I actually wanted to say." He swallows, stopping himself before he starts rambling. "... I'm not sure if that's really an answer to your question though."

"It is," he confirms. Gundham wants to understand it as fully as he possibly can, and if he just thinks hard enough about it, he's sure he can do it. It sounds a little different to how he feels, but surprisingly, not by much at all. If anything, it sounds like the same problem, just with the other having cobbled together a different solution. Words hurt to pull from himself for a very similar reason: because he can't be sure how they'll be interpreted. Because he can't figure out if they are appropriate. He considers sharing his knowledge with Kazuichi - that if he says what he wants to say with carefully chosen, exact recipes of words to be followed again and again to a T, then the fault is all of others. That then he can be absolutely sure that he is the pinnacle of Man, and that any who fail to meet his linguistic talent are that: failures. - but he doesn't really think that'll help. He purses his lips. "You know I am no follower of the deified human language."

"Yeah, I know. But that doesn't mean the words I choose around you are less important." In fact, he's always found it harder to communicate with Gundham because of it. Not only because he doesn't understand him sometimes, but because Kazuichi has to clarify things he wouldn't usually have to and he actually has to pause for a second before speaking which doesn't feel right sometimes. Because Gundham isn't interested in fitting in the same way he is, Kazuichi can't default to what he usually understands conversation to be. And with that thought, he pauses. He used to be so easily frustrated just listening to him speak. He rejected the idea of spending time with him until they were just suddenly together all the time regardless of the fact they weren't getting along. He was jealous of him but he also wanted to be nothing like him. Yet here they are now. His overly complicated way of speaking is still perfectly intact. "...but I like talking to you." He finds himself growing so fond of his fancy descriptions and is given direction when it's needed. "It's really easy around you cause I never felt like I needed to try super hard to impress you. Now that just means I feel comfortable."

Gundham chuckles, awkwardly. "I knew you did," or he'd hoped and worked under that assumption, anyway, "it is an open secret, I believe, that any who boasts a being beyond humanity has no significant hurdle over which to climb to achieve my affections. You knew Maga-Z." Hell, he knows Shiryo, now; difficult, but Gundham's best friend, regardless.

"...yeah, I guess so." But what Kazuichi had meant was that he never felt the need to impress him because he never wanted to. Which...isn't entirely true, he liked impressing Gundham when he took clear interest in what he was doing or when his goal was to one-up him, but it was always different to his desire to impress others. And, now that he mentions it, there were times where he did genuinely enjoy their time together. Hell, he saw a few of those times in the program's files. It makes him groan. "I guess it was kinda always there." They had fun even when he reluctantly agreed to be together. They found themselves sitting alone with each other more times than would be normal for rivals and they learnt from each other despite insulting the very same interest. "I should've been nicer to you sooner..."

Kinda always there...

A shiver goes down Gundham's spine as he feels even more so as though Kazuichi is pulling him apart. He knew from the start that all of this would be painfully vulnerable, but he'd assumed the entire time that he could keep it under control. He takes his hand off of Kazuichi's back to rub his hands together in his lap, "Ah, and destroy our shared enrichment...? No, your decision was understandable." Most of the time it was sort of fun, in a weird way. He liked the rival angle, it was amusing. It felt comfortable. It let him be infatuated but maintain his strength. It let him love and stay admirably frigid and inhuman. "If you had changed my regimen very suddenly while we were still young, I...don't know how I would have reacted. Truthfully."

Kazuichi glances over at him, finds himself somewhat worried by the loss of contact as he sits himself up properly. Yeah, his actions were understandable given his feelings at the time, but that doesn't make them more or less okay. "You think it would've been bad if I tried being friendly?" It would've been different, certainly, but it would've made their lives a bit easier and probably would've made his own time in high school a little bit more enjoyable. Though, one of the things that always annoyed him so much was the fact Gundham seemed so unbothered by so many of his comments. He'd glare at him and make snide remarks in return, but it was clear who was more upset. He sighs, "Well, we wouldn't be where we are now if I had so there's that." They'd probably be the same level of friendly as Kazuichi is with everyone else...or perhaps… Kazuichi stares in his direction waiting for his response as a silence stretches between them. "Gundham...?" He gently touches his arm after a short while. "We uh...don't need to talk about it if you really don't want to."

"I believe the apocalypse was to spring forth regardless of whenever it was that you took damnable pity on me. It's such an affront to the laws of the realm that there was no 'safe' timeframe in which to do it." He says suddenly, as if the touch itself had activated his vocal chords.

Kazuichi blinks. "...so you think we'd be the same regardless?" That makes him pause and let go. He's...not sure if he means apocalypse in the literal sense, but if he doesn't— He laughs, embarrassed. "I mean, who knows!" Though it's not like Gundham hasn't talked about being destined before. He chooses to think that he's completely misunderstood him because he can't possibly mean that if he'd tried being closer years ago they would have already gone through all of this.

Gundham rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms. "In a sense, I guess," he says, feeling an odd mirrored sensation - embarrassment in the face of Kazuichi's. "You would have still felt cursed to have my spirit belong to yours. I might have been less...well spoken. On the topic. But as we've seen, I've been willing to execute the same rituals in near perpetuity. Despite it all. I..." Now the embarrassment is all his own as he curls up on himself a little, his voice low and with a hint of a pout, "have been harbouring this hex for many years, so."

Kazuichi is silent for a while, feeling his face burn hotter by the second. He's not sure if that makes his confession better or worse. ...worse, definitely worse. "I-Is that so...?" His voice is quieter. It kind of explains why Gundham tolerated him but...he'd seriously thought no one thought he was attractive in that time of his life. This guy had been crushing and he never noticed?!  ...doesn't that make everything he's doing right now so much worse?

"I executed an early judgment call that at the time I decided I needed more intel on to be able to follow up properly. And so my dedication then became subtle espionage!" Gundham nods firmly to himself, trying to bolster some of the confidence he feels like he's so lacking. And it's working, too. "Everything went according to my own plan! So don't worry about it!"

"R...Right." Not that knowing that helps how he feels. All of this must mean so much to Gundham if that's the case. And...in that instance... Kazuichi makes an embarrassed noise, falling back down onto his back as he covers his eyes. "That's like...five years dude..."

"It wasn't that long!" (...It was technically a little bit longer…) "You will extract no apology from me! Cease your pathetic writhing!"

"I don't want an apology..." He turns and shoves his face into the pillow. It's just that now he feels like even more of a jerk for making him pine for so long.

"...Eh? Well. Good. As you are not receiving one." Gundham grumbles to himself and turns to stand up, patting around for his pants. 

Kazuichi just groans in response. Frankly, Gundham liking him for a while now explains why he was so upset by brushing away the past and being friends...which implies he's liked him since high school which makes him curl up and hug the pillow. Doesn't that make everything he's done worse...or does that imply Gundham liked it? Maybe he shouldn't think too deeply about it but he can't ignore it now! All he knows is that what it does mean is that he should honestly answer him as soon as possible. He doesn't want to leave his confession hanging in the air like that and never bring it up again. Rejection usually came so easy to him but he can't find it in himself to even say that right now. It's...the first time someone saying they love him has ever made him feel so genuinely flattered.

Gundham shuffles around in the dark, managing to get himself at least half dressed before he feels his way back to the mattress edge and taps it to let Kazuichi know he's there. "...Do you..." Well. It's a little late, but he ought to ask, at least, "need serviced?"

"Unless you plan to turn me on again, I'll be good." Kazuichi shrugs. It had kind of dissipated the second he'd started feeling bad so there wasn't much to worry about now. "Happens all the time, don't worry about it."

He lets out a puff of breath in relief. "I do not. Not especially. If we are to continue the trend of being painfully truthful. It is something I would happily execute were it desired, though." He gives a tight-lipped sort of smile toward where he imagines Kazuichi to be and then huffs, rubs his face. "...I am exhausted."

"If you want to be all honest and mushy, sure." He stretches his back as he turns onto his side. "Come on then, lay down even though I did all the work."

"Not what I said," Gundham argues, but puts a knee up on the bed anyway, not even considering that he may be being sarcastic. He feels around for Kazuichi's body, finds his chest, finds the edge of it, finds the warm spot below him from where he'd been lying a moment ago. And he lets himself into it, sliding his arm under the pillow that Kazuichi is holding while he settles down. "It was…" Gundham falters as he allows himself to even think of it again, "very good. Your effort was not wasted."

"Yeah, I know, I got a good tongue." Kazuichi smiles, wriggling closer to kiss his cheek as he lies just shy of touching him. Even if the light was on, he wouldn't be able to see him very well so he's content. "I'm just teasing. I was actually thinking about a nap earlier but talking made me feel less tired."

"Your oral muscle is disturbing ," he adds - good, sure, but also undeniably odd . "Like a woodpecker's. If I were to tug on its length it may pull your skull with it upon its exit." He sighs and, with some effort, forces himself to relax. "Don't tempt me with such things. It is only through meditation and concentration I am able to manipulate my body's will to create my illusory self as a diurnal being..."

Kazuichi pouts at him, bringing a hand up to play with his hair. "Awh, but didn't you just say you felt exhausted?"

Something hot boils in his chest. Not in his loins again, annoyingly enough, no, just in his chest and his face, and the tingles over his scalp where he’s being touched. "...Maybe it is because of the artificial darkness...maybe my soul truly is beginning to fully devour the ways of the day-walkers..." There's still a little bit of space between them. Gundham shuffles in it, trying not to close it, but in order to get comfortable, his knees definitely at least bump Kazuichi's a couple times, which reminds him of how nice it is to have their legs tangled together, which makes him just a degree sleepier each time he has the mental image. "Or you've cursed me back for all my wrongdoings."

"I don't know how to curse people, I think you're just getting a sleep schedule." Which, frankly, is easy to do given the whole system they're under at the moment but...not so much when they're staying up extra hours together every night. Kazuichi's leg is eventually laying on top of Gundham's. It's more comfortable that way, trying to stay out of each other's way is annoying. "...besides, I wouldn't know what those wrongdoings would be."

Gundham lets his eyes close for a second, only to re-open them a moment later, "...Allow me to add another to the endless list, then: I ask of you your leaden form to keep mine confined?" He sets a very delicate hand on Kazuichi's...he's not sure what it is. Somewhere on his flank, and gently coaxes him forward as he begins to slowly switch his own position to lying on his back.

Kazuichi easily follows, laying on top of him and wrapping his limbs around him. "That's not a wrongdoing at all." He settles his head in the crook of his neck, comfortably squeezing him when he finds a good position. "...I was planning on staying the night again anyway."

He hadn't even realized that there were muscles in him that were still tensed until Kazuichi squeezes him and everything else in him eases. It takes effort to fill his lungs with the weight of another grown man on top of him, but it feels good. His heart feels real when it beats against his ribs this hard, when it has a companion to chat back at it in a steady rhythm. He pulls his arms around Kazuichi's waist and holds him in place like a seatbelt. "Your understanding of evil has always been unintelligible nonsense," he mumbles, his eyes already closing again. It's warm, too. A shiver spreads over him. "You must eat before the night arrives. I insist upon it..."

"I will." He can feel how Gundham's voice vibrates his neck, feel his own breath bounce off the surface. "We'll go to dinner when your hamsters start waking up, how's that?"

"Spirit Soldiers," Gundham corrects him, "They roust as the sun begins to set. Their cacophonous sound will be more than enough to wake me." No kidding - they throw absolute fits once their internal clocks say it's time to get to work. Extremely dutiful little beings, part of the reason he respects them so highly. "...I appreciate the 'we'," he says, after, as he lets everything sink in, rubbing his thumbs over the small of Kazuichi's back. It's partly a tease, but for the most part, he's just... quite happy about it, genuinely.

Kazuichi sighs and shrugs the tiniest bit. Going together kind of makes sense. They usually sit together these days anyway so that wasn't super abnormal. They only went to lunch separately because it would've made it way too obvious they were together. "Gotta make sure you don't eat something bad for you..." He mumbles.

He gets a little squeeze as a response. Gundham feels...oddly cared for, in the way of accommodations for mealtimes. He falls asleep quickly. Lying on his back is his preferred position anyway, so that paired with the physical release and the comfort of a warm weight atop him and his racing but faraway thoughts about his time in the Dream has him out fast - exactly when he falls asleep can be easily detected by the moment he stops stroking Kazuichi gently.

***

They wake to the sound of the hamsters making a fuss, Gundham pulling himself out of bed to tend to them practically on instinct. Once they're all settled and the two of them are presentable again, he and Kazuichi make their way to dinner. Perhaps it's strange the way they walk in together and the way they leave together. Gundham doesn't seem phased by any of it even if they are being silently judged. They spend the night together as intended, going for a walk to stretch their legs and allow the hamsters some time in the fresh air before heading back to bed. It's nice, it's quiet.

But the whole time, Kazuichi feels a pit in his stomach.

He likes it all, he likes seeing the other man so calm and enjoying himself. He likes laying in bed together, having someone for him to hold while he sleeps, and he's been having such little to worry about lately that he hasn't had a single nightmare. But even so, he can't help but feel guilty. Gundham's been in love - truly in love with him - this whole time and Kazuichi's just been agonising about how okay any of this is. Now more than ever he's terrified of breaking Gundham's heart and making him freeze over. He's never been handed a heart and even somewhat desired to take care of it, he can't be certain he'll do a good job. He likes Gundham, he can't deny that anymore, but what if it isn't love? What if they don't like each other in the same way? Why is the idea of rejecting him more terrifying than accepting him?

So while he doesn't leave, Kazuichi doesn't feel as present as he was earlier. And he can feel it even more as they sit for breakfast the next morning.

He stares at his food, his leg bouncing as he fiddles with a fork. "So uh..." He begins, not even glancing at Gundham as he mumbles. "Do you think we'll be able to continue looking through your files soon?"

Gudham lifts his gaze away from the little prodding hands and inquisitive noses for a second, his sleeves full of hamsters happily hanging over his bowl of oats. In this second, Reikon manages to fall face-first into the food, making him scoff and panic slightly, picking him up by the scruff as the little thing starts to groom himself. "...You still believe it necessary?" He asks, a bit surprised. "I was under the impression that nearly all use had been extracted."

"But I haven't seen everything yet." The bouncing of his leg doesn't make any noise, but it's not enough to prevent a somewhat uncomfortable look spreading over Kazuichi's face. How can he say he wants to just focus on something else for today? The time between when he woke up and when Gundham did was spent just ruminating in his own thoughts about all of this, trying not to think too hard about their skin-to-skin contact and trying to remind himself that it's not wrong that they're having sex because they're two consenting adults. "I've got the general gist of everything, but I'd really like to just get through it all for curiosity's sake. I mean, we know what it does, but not what gets you out so I'd say the data is incomplete."

"Khf. You want still more of my innards?" He ribs, teasing, albeit with a straight face and deathly serious expression. "I thought you had more than enough of them." But whatever - he shrugs one shoulder, turning Reikon toward him and interrupting the other hamsters' meals to wipe his face down with a napkin. "Fine. Complete your data. Commence your weighing of my soul and return to me with your findings, then." He can't help but be a little nervous about it, but it had been fine before. Surely whatever goes on in the future of the recordings shouldn't be any worse than what they've gone through before. Right? Surely. And he'd been ready to let Kazuichi have it all before, so...it should not affect him the way that it does. He looks at Kazuichi, searching for his eyes, or at least his face, but he doesn't get it. Okay. That's alright. "...Do you know the location of your notes?"

"In my room. Left it in one of the drawers." He's somewhat relieved to be given the permission, now the only thing he has to deal with is whether or not Hajime plans to continue doing whatever it is he actually does in there. He'd gotten too upset too quickly to actually figure out what it was...maybe they should actually bother to watch that footage sometime. Kazuichi finally starts eating, now that he knows he has an excuse to not be overly social it's a little easier. "Then I'll probably get that started as soon as I'm done here. If I can beat anyone else there, it should be fine." Though, he finds himself pausing, slowly looking up at Gundham. "Will you...be okay alone for a while?" It's not like he doesn't hang out alone he just...suddenly feels a bit guilty leaving him.

"Not alone." Gundham holds up Reikon's little wet face. He shrugs, and then sighs, "Even if I were, I would need catching up on my meditation regardless." He's also not sure what he'll do, honestly, but given he's often at his most comfortable when there are no eyes on him, he can't imagine that it would be catastrophic in nature at all. Please come back, though, he thinks at him with all his might, hoping maybe he will spontaneously develop the psychic power to implant the idea into Kazuichi's head.

"Right, yeah, of course." Kazuichi nods as he looks down at his food again. At the very least they're able to be apart. That's good. "I'll try to remember to come out for lunch." He promises as he finishes up his food, sitting for another few moments. He feels bad rushing off, he doesn't want to seem like he's avoiding him, but he's not sure how to make leaving feel less awkward. "Alright, I'll go get started then." He stands up, taking his dishes with him and giving Gundham a short wave like he doesn't really know how else to say goodbye before heading off.

Gundham just watches him as he goes with growing amusement - leaving him out to dry, just to see what it is he'll do to cope with the awkward feeling - stares at him while he leaves, only barely pushing down a smile until after, when he chuckles to himself and shakes his head.

Chapter Text

Kazuichi makes a quick stop at his room to retrieve his notebook before making his way to the console room. It's cold like he remembers it, dark with green and blue lights illuminating where they can reach. Something about being surrounded by so many wires and feeling like he actually has something to do makes him feel a bit better. It's probably not good that he's not actually sitting down with his thoughts and processing them but he just doesn't think he's ready to. Hopefully Hajime's absence is a trend for today. He hopes he's too busy with Mikan or something to come here because he's so close to the end of the files, he just wants to reach it already. There's a series of short clicks as Kazuichi slides into place at the console and it lights up without a touch as Alter Ego shakes out of its sleep mode.

"Welcome back," There's an odd pause for detection of data, and then after a second, "Kazuichi!" As if surprised, albeit pleasantly so, Alter Ego chirps. "It's good to see you again! Is there anything you need me to do for you?"

There's a moment of pause. Kazuichi finds himself oddly worried. What's he going to do if it turns out he can't actually continue his work? Like if something has been put in place to prevent him or he gets kicked out of this room? It'd be weird if either happened but not unlikely. He'd feel a bit shitty if he just stayed alone all day despite making no progress.

‘I'd like to continue looking through the files on Gundham Tanaka.’ He types out, suddenly rather anxious. It's fine, they're a program, it makes sense that they'd slow down a bit sometimes. It must be difficult running in a place like this anyway. It's fine, he's fine.

"Okay! I have a few background information request processes I'd have to terminate to do that right away. Is that alright?"

‘Depends on what those processes are.’

"I'm supposed to be compiling files from the Foundation's external database and matching them against previous test runs. Right now I'm retrieving search-match backlogs for Peko Pekoyama, Mahiru Koizumi, Nekomaru Nidai, Hiyoko Saionji, and Mikan Tsumiki. If they're interrupted, the only side effect should be just a short increase in wait time."

Kazuichi frowns, feeling more nervous by the second. Well, it's not like it was dreadfully interruptive. ‘Who asked you to do that?’

"Hajime." No allegiances here. Apparently they were not expressly told to keep this information confidential - or at least, not from Kazuichi, specifically.

He scoffs. Of course, he should've expected that. Taking his findings and running with them without even consulting him. He probably would've shared what he figured out with the guy anyway! ‘Go ahead and terminate them.’ Like he cares. Hajime can wait a little longer for his results, Kazuichi wants to finish what he started.

"Okay, just a second."

Things go blank for a moment and the console makes a slight whining sound, and then it powers back up - this time on a familiar screen: an array of files sorted by time recorded, hundreds of entries long. The last ones accessed are near the bottom - within a few hours' stretch of finishing up, even if they were to be watched in their entirety. The ones Kazuichi had viewed just before were ones outside of school - an apparently fruitless endeavor, as the thumbnails for the last ones pingpong around between familiar and unfamiliar environments. Kazuichi smiles to himself. He can't say he isn't excited to see the end of it all. There were several instances throughout the rest of the files where it was dreadfully obvious that what was happening wasn't real so he was curious to know what finally had Gundham leaving. If it was like waking up from a dream or if he too was presented directly with a choice. Or perhaps that part didn't end up being recorded which, if that was the case, he'd find himself disappointed a bit.

Mid spiritual-baby-elephant-moment, however, there's a quiet sound of one of the doors to the console room clicking shut. The lights flood on with another series of snaps, and then, "...Kazuichi? Why are you here in the dark?"

Kazuichi jumps, blinking at the sudden change in lighting. He'd forgotten there were proper lights in here. But he frowns as he turns towards the door. "I dunno, maybe I like it." His tone is less than pleased as he pauses the video, practically glaring at Hajime. "What are you doing in here?"

"Okay...?" Hajime stands for a second, like he expects Kazuichi to come to an answer on his own, and then starts on his way between the pods, toward the center. He tucks his hands into his pockets, shoulders square and his gait a little awkward. "I've been working on Alter Ego. You're, uh...still working, yourself, right?"

Kazuichi squints at him, though it's hard to tell if it's because he's upset or because he's actually having a hard time seeing. "Yeah. I am. And I like working by myself so it'd be great if you could go away. You can keep doing your precious project when I'm done."

"Okay, so you're not very happy with me." He sighs with a twinge of resignation. "That makes sense. But there were people struggling, you know?"

" Everyone's struggling, I get that. But instead of talking to me, you decided to act like it was all some big secret I wasn't allowed to know!"

"I don't think you know what I mean. Fuyuhiko's eye is infected already, so who knows what's going on with Nagito? They could die , in real life ," he squeaks and then clears his throat, shaking his head, "anyway, you're not allowed in here in the first place!"

Kazuichi rolls his eyes, leaning back in the chair to make it clear he has no intention of moving. "Well next time if you're gonna read my personal shit, tell me . I would've told you about it anyway!"

Hajime pulls in a deep breath and folds his hands in front of his face, like he's centering himself before he responds. "Mahiru brought the notes to me. I was going to transcribe them and then get rid of your copy so you couldn't get...I dunno, killed?" He huffs to himself, "Maybe I got kind of over excited. But I realized I could fix this if I put my mind to it. Someone already broke the rules. The best I could do then was make sure that the rules we were breaking were half-shouldered by someone they can't execute . Besides, it's not personal to you , it's...well. It's Gundham's."

"They are personal to me! They're my notes and my observations done with permission! It's pretty invasive to both me and Gundham to read them and not even tell me that you did!" He's trying not to be too angry, he really is, but he can't help it. He feels deeply betrayed by Hajime in all honesty. Mahiru and Hiyoko he can excuse since they don't really like him anyway, but this guy's meant to be his friend! "Don't you think that if I had figured anything out to help, I would've made that clear? I would have told you, privately. Instead, you decided to use my notes and freeze me out instead of asking me about it! Do you seriously think that's going to make me trust you?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, I see that. I don't think he's especially happy about it, either, now that I think about it. I got carried away." Hajime sighs and crosses his arms over his chest, "But you did find stuff that was helpful, okay? I'm sorry. It did help. It helped a lot." He's still standing up tall, but he's rubbing his upper arms in a self-soothing sort of gesture, "I don't want you to be able to answer questions if they come asking. It's just going to make you look bad. I don't want you to have to lie."

"They probably already know anyway, they've got all their cameras don't they?" Kazuichi scoffs, turning back to the screen. "Whatever. Just let me finish this, okay? I'm not leaving unless you force me."

"I'm not gonna make you leave, man..." Hajime runs a hand through his hair, "...can you have it done by tonight?"

"Yes, if you fuck off." He says as he flips through his notebook with a scowl on his face.

"Okay, stupid question," he admits, "Kazuichi, I'm...if you want to know, I'll tell."

"...know what? What you're actually doing in here?"

He purses his lips and then gives an awkward chuckle. "...Did you just say you felt left out without even knowing what it was you were left out of? Yeah, obviously."

Kazuichi turns back towards him. "...it is pretty shitty to leave people out like that."

"...Yeah. You'd think I'd know better by now. Hiding things isn't ever going to be the best option for any of us after everything. I guess I didn't see it as hiding it from you, though. I saw it as hiding you from the Foundation." Despite all his sheepish edges, Hajime stares him down the moment he meets his eyes, finding and maintaining eye contact. "Which...I don't think we should do that, either. Not forever. But for now...I want to see if I can use Alter Ego to put Izuru into the stubborn simulations still being calculated. Break up these loops. It worked for Mikan."

Kazuichi sighs, yeah that makes sense. It would make sense to do that, which was sort of what he'd been trying to figure out to do...Hajime just had more brains than him. Apparently. "So you're creating an AI replica of Izuru to interact with the people still in the program?"

"Alter Ego is doing most of the work. I'm just providing the...blueprint. It turns out that if they have no strong memory of me from before, it's really easy to override me with that data. For lack of a better description."

"Yeah, that makes sense given you were reserve course. And I guess we got out through like...harsh reality check and possible fear so could easily speed things up that way."

Hajime nods quietly, still rubbing his upper arms for a second before he drops them in favor of putting his hands on his hips. He looks down at the floor between the two of them, lips pursed. "...I don't really want to use fear. I'm hoping that we can just program me in without letting me do anything dangerous, and that will do what happened to the others, like Gundham. Do something that's technically allowed by the program's limitations, but have it be odd enough that someone notices something is wrong. And hope that wherever they're at has prepared them for it. I don't plan on letting Izuru do anything except be a system shock."

Kazuichi raises his eyebrow at him. "You've seen what got Gundham out of the program?" He shouldn't be surprised, but he is (or maybe jealous). But it makes sense. Of course he saw it, he was trying to figure out the same thing he was. "...no spoilers, I'm not up to that yet."

"Hah. Uh, no. I didn't look through Gundham's videos except when it was absolutely necessary. When your notes were sparse on details that we needed. Y'know, stuff involving me. When it comes to the process, I just went off of his observation from the notes. I sort of used his conclusion." There's another silence, a small frown appearing on his face. "I should probably talk to him, too, huh?"

"Yeah, he trusts you a lot so he's pretty pissed off." He leans back in his chair, spinning it back and forth. "At the very least pretend you didn't see his drawings, that'd be embarrassing for him."

Hajime chuckles a little, awkwardly, like he's not sure if he's allowed to or not, "But they're not bad, honestly. Scarier than I've come to expect from him. He's actually kinda soft, isn't he...?"

"He's..." Kazuichi pauses, cheeks flushing. He doesn't know how to describe him right now. "...he's a really nice guy. I guess."

"...I'm sorry for forcing you guys into it. I know stuff is weird, and then it just sort of got weirder. But I'm absolutely sure that after we're all out, things are going to get better for everyone, including you guys. Whether I'm still there with you as your friend or not. We're looking out for each other."

"Y-Yeah, whatever man, you were a dick but just don't do it again." Kazuichi scratches his cheek. He suddenly feels really awkward...and his hickeys hurt. "Can I just get back to what I was doing now?"

"...Is that a real apology accepted, or one just meant to get me to go away?" Hajime gives one more sheepish laugh, "...I'll keep trying, then. I, uh, yeah. I'll finish up later, I guess. Good luck?"

"Both!" He shoos him out. "I won't be mad at you forever so just leave me be until I'm done!" He's usually not so dismissive with these sorts of things, but he's suddenly thinking about a bunch of embarrassing things and he'd like to stop it as soon as possible.

"Hahaha, okay! Okay," Hajime backs up, but he does look significantly more jovial than when he'd come in. He hovers a hand over the lights on his way out, "...You wanna sit in the dark?"

Kazuichi frowns, bringing his feet up onto the chair. "...yeah." It'll be easier on his eyes so he might as well (or at least it feels like it will be). "I'll try to come out to eat and stuff."

"Thanks." The room falls back into just the glow of the pods and screens and display lights. There's a hesitance, but then the door falls shut anyway, and Kazuichi's alone again, the computers humming quickly filling the space that Hajime speaking has left behind. And, soon after, the soft audio of Gundham's Africa trip as he resumes the video - a trip that doesn't crack or fall apart much at all. Preserve employees treat him well, and he doesn't seem to disbelieve it. He's got a prickly translator with him from the school itself, but a lot of his conversations have her absent. He doesn't so much seem to talk to the employees meant to coach him, but past them. Sometimes he gets himself across. Most of the time he just has things explained to him. He does a lot of listening. Gundham Tanaka, either silent and absorbing, or speaking out with no intent whatsoever of being understood, simply enjoying the company of someone nearby who can stand and listen to him, idly. It's hard to tell if it's a 'successful' simulation or not. Or what parts of it are real at all.

Either way, it runs straight through. It's separated into sections, but they're all strung together. They don't end in panic or frustration. There are no on-screen lashings-out. Nobody dies. It doesn't break. But there is a tense feeling, a dread that's palpable even though he doesn't have access to Gundham's inner dialogue - a hesitance to return to Hope's Peak. Nights spent appreciating barebones but tailored meals and shared quarters, short showers and regimented days on the nature preserve, dwelling longer and longer until he's sat trying his best to stifle the tears wobbling his vision in the airport. They don't get the chance to fall, being smothered into his scarf instead. With nowhere for him to confide, necessarily, the insight into his thoughts are minimal. He's quiet in public. He's quiet on the plane. He's quiet in the dusk as he pulls his luggage from the van's storage while it's parked quietly on the dorm end of the school grounds. What sound there is is of cars and cicadas. The normally at least somewhat well-lived-in schoolground is empty, almost eerily so, while even the teacher given the duty of dropping him off sits in the driver's side of the van and allows him to gather and carry his own things. He doesn't argue or yell or assert himself deserving of service. Not when there's no one around to see. When it's just him, he's quiet. Focused. Sentimental.

Squatting on the sidewalk, Gundham digs through one of his bags. With no one paying attention, he's more than happy to give a short display of unzipping the edge and retrieving a stuffed animal from atop all his clothes. He doesn't treat it very differently from how he would a real animal. It's not quite life size, but he still handles the meerkat like he's responsible for providing support to its limbs and organs. Scratches its head. Presses his lips to the spot between its ears, and then settles it into his scarf, just under his chin, before he zips everything back up and waves silently to the driver, who takes a moment to notice before giving him a thumbs-up and a "Goodnight, Tanaka" before they pull away from the curb.

"How many of these things do you have?!" He looks back at his hopelessly unwieldy pile of luggage to find Nekomaru struggling to find a place to stow the third bag - the weight isn't bothering him, but the awkward size is requiring some rearranging.

"...I may have summoned yet more from the aether to assist me on my return journey," Gundham mutters, embarrassed, and Nekomaru laughs, slinging a roller bag over his back to test it out - "Let me...what are you doing, as if I can't command my own army?!"

"I'm just helping! I knew you were gonna come back with a hundred stuffed animals, least I could do was help you haul 'em all up, since I'm probably gonna be getting to know them all anyway."

"You will not be within any close vicinity to my secret servants, nor will you speak hence of them ever more!"

"I don't think anybody cares if you have'm..."

"I command you say no more!"

Nekomaru laughs again. Gundham gathers up one of the bags for himself, shakes out his hands once, and starts on his way inside. There are dull blurs of other faces. People he only hardly remembers now - but standing out among those are two sitting on the stairs to the first floor of boys' rooms: Pink and blonde, side by side, one spread over the steps and gesturing with his hands, and the other with her knees politely together and angled toward the floor, making the occasional 'mhm' or 'yes' or 'I see'.

"I told him that if he organizes it a little, he won't have such a hard time learning the rest of it -...hey!" The Gundham in the simulation freezes in the hall at Kazuichi's voice. Something flickers, something's wrong, but he lets it slide. Sonia stands up, patting her skirt and charging toward him to give him a hug, which he takes, stiffly, awkwardly. Kazuichi pulls himself off the stair he'd been sitting on, too. He has a carefree sort of look on his face that Gundham keeps directly in the middle of his vision.

"You have made it! How was it?!" Sonia pulls away from the hug and Gundham flickers a glance down at her and makes a low, thoughtful sound, unsure of how to answer - he's still putting his all into it when it's Kazuichi's turn.

The other pulls his arms around him. Holds him for a second, gives him a robust pat on the back, and says, "Could've emailed about the delay so we weren't sitting here waiting for like, two extra hours."

Things ripple and shake. Gundham holds on, but only just. "Was not under the impression there would be a welcome committee..."

Kazuichi's eye twitches, and then he rolls them, the hands still lingering on Gundham's shoulders dropping as he stuffs them into his own pockets instead and shrugs. "Why wouldn't we hang around? We're friends, right?"

"We would have waited for you until the coordinator threw us out!" Sonia agrees.

Kazuichi pales a little, "Well, I don't know if I would've let you get in trouble for hanging around the boys' dorm at night, Miss Sonia, but we would have found...um, some spot to wait..."

"There is dinner waiting for you," she continues, bouncing on her heels just slightly, only barely concealing her excitement, "We have convinced Miss Yukizome to let us access the common area until ten so that we all may eat together!"

More tearing. He's noticed, although he's trying desperately to pretend that he hasn't.

"Come on, we're late already." Kazuichi elbows him and holds out a hand. Gundham stares between his and Kazuichi's hands for a moment before he takes it. The clip at first seems like it lingers on this image, but after a moment, it's easier to tell that the reason for the freeze-frame is because this clip has come to an end.

Kazuichi vaguely remembers Gundham going on that trip, one of the many privileges of the school. He's not sure he remembers much of...this though. It feels familiar but he can't say he knows how much of it is real. It's strange. He doesn't remember Gundham owning any plush toys at all...though perhaps he was just never paying very close attention to him. The whole clip feels like it's from a different time, it makes his chest squeeze. How nice it is, how normal it is. He's saddened to know he probably wouldn't have reacted very well had Gundham actually ever held his hand like that outside of when it was required. He wishes he could see more of Gundham's expressions so he could have more of an idea on how he was feeling. He wishes he could hear his thoughts like he wishes he could hear everyone's at some point or another. Kazuichi takes a moment, finds himself hesitating to play the next clip.

The loops grow shorter and shorter. Something in Gundham's head is getting more and more frustrated with the scene. They're all nice. So nice that the moment someone speaks directly to him or answers him in kind after he says something, he retreats. He curls away, he hides from the possibility of someone hearing him or caring about him. Something he's done in real life countless times, only to be served another lonely day after, but this time reality shatters with each attempt to put distance between himself and the others. Dinner won't go right, or dinner won't go wrong.

This isn't something that happened. Whatever it was that Gundham was greeted with at his return from his first year trip, this was certainly not it. He seems to see it clearly, too. Kazuichi sits next to him. Reset. Kazuichi sits across from him. Reset. Kazuichi sits far from him, but speaks directly to him over an anecdote being recounted? Reset. It's not all him., it's others too. But something is so obviously itching at this point in time at Gundham that he can't quite stop checking over and over to see if Kazuichi is still real enough. 

The second-to-last entry is only a few seconds. He's talking to someone, only to suddenly glance over and find that, while Kazuichi sits in the centre of his vision, the whole opposite end of the table is sort of...present. None of them look distant. The next one doesn't contain a scene, only a blank space. Gundham is stood in it at first, and then he sits down on the floor, his legs spread out in front of him. He checks his scarf. Nothing in it.

"I don't want to return."

Chiaki's knees materialize in front of him. He looks up at her, covering his mouth with his scarf. It blocks out his sight a little. Makes the image all half-purple. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"...Are you sure?"

"Your job is complete. I do not want to return. You may focus on any other subject. Any of them but me. I finished my quest. I did my piece. I am done." Gundham is quiet for a moment as he puts his head in his hands. "What of them remain have no use for me. Or to me! You could show me visions of all sorts of services they could provide to me in utopia, and all of it would pale compared to the bleak world I have crafted with my own cursed hands!"

She doesn't say anything, she just lets him continue.

"I couldn't hope to achieve something like this." His knees meet his chest, "I daren't. These are no comrades of mine." Again she waits. Gundham's vision goes dark as he hides in his scarf. There's a soft sound as he cries. There is no visual evidence of it. 

"You're capable of creating a scenario in which you are not alone." She says, gently. "Do you believe you can pursue it?"

"No. Maybe."

"Do you wanna try?"

He peeks out of his scarf with watery eyes. He stays silent for a long while and then nods without saying a word.

This all suddenly feels too...personal. Kazuichi feels just as awkward as he would if Gundham was sitting right there in front of him with the same speech. It's insight into his feelings, but he feels like he shouldn't really be listening to it. He can understand, though. It all feeling too handcrafted and easy, if that's what Gundham's trying to communicate. He can't say he can tell. Kazuichi wasn't quite prepared for this to get so emotional today. He'd sort of been trying to...avoid that a little bit he seems to have walked straight into it. He closes the video, leaning back in his chair with a heavy sigh. At the very least things have been going well for Gundham since he woke up. At least, he'd assume. It'd be weird if they weren't, right?

He's not sure how much of this he really wants to take on board. If he really wants to think about this all too deeply. He hasn't been doing it for the rest of them...but he's never really seen Gundham cry. Not like that. The fact that the least he can do for the guy is figure out his own feelings makes him groan with frustration. It would be deeply unfair of him to be the only one between them to not bare themselves considering Gundham's done it twice now. But he doesn't want to think about it, he doesn't want to have to complicate things internally or figure things out, he'd rather just know and he hates that he doesn't. Or maybe he doesn't and he just hasn't decided if he thinks it's good or not.

He sighs. He should go for a walk.

***

With a significant breakfast down and a clingy hamster after washing him up, Gundham's morning goes well. Reikon sleeps in his scarf for the rest of the day, curled to his throat right against his veins, soaking in the warmth there. It's comforting. It's as if he'd heard when Gundham had said that he wasn't alone with the little guy around. He gets extra treats at lunch for his efforts - for helping Gundham make it through the downtime. For being less a shoulder to lean on and more so for resting upon his shoulder, literally speaking. For clearing his head when things get too much. For reminding him that his crusade to retrain them for public good has been fruitful.

He doesn't have much at all to say by dinnertime. He'd sort of made himself scarce once he'd seen that Kazuichi did indeed emerge for lunch, but even that absence doesn't make him feel any more especially talkative once the final meal of the day arrives. Hopefully it's one of the final ones of barely-prepared rations, too, because as he sits beside Kazuichi at the table, he can't quite find it in his energy banks to needle him into taking the bits of fried egg out of his bowl. He just eats around them until he can no longer, and then sits fiddling with his utensils and watching silently as others converse among themselves - now including Mikan. Unless he's asked a direct question that can't be answered by a glare, a nod, or a shake of the head, he says no words. It doesn't feel like the time.

He's not especially upset, he's just...overwhelmed. Not solely with the practice of now being alone briefly, although it was odd (and pleasant, actually), but by the idea that he has no way of judging if it's much more likely this will trend upward…or downward. And that he'd have no idea how much it would matter. Even if Kazuichi did spend much more time with him, what would change? Either way he'd soak in every moment he obtained. Either way he'd spend their time beyond the veil with gentle touches and kisses and words, if he were so allowed. So really - he nudges at a piece of chicken that he's gearing himself up to finish - he supposes he'd survive no matter what. He supposes that so long as he has dinner with people who are chattering happily, he will find reason to continue. It would just be nice if that reason were to also have all of the influences to his affectionate outburst the day before folded in. Beautifully nice.

Maybe he should think about it more. Is it wise to leave it at that? That he'd be happy either way? That's where he'd left the matter of his actions before his trial, too, and look and see how happy he would have actually been should things have gone differently. Hajime is gathering plates and bowls, and for once, Gundham slides him his mostly-empty, but not fully cleaned out, meal. He stands up from the table, causing only a slight murmur, gives a low and gruff and omnidirectional 'thank you', puts a very covert pat onto Kazuichi's upper back, and hurries to leave.

The two of them hadn't talked much that day. And...while it wasn't strange or new, Kazuichi found it a little hard. It's not like them talking so much was a common thing for a long time, but he found himself wanting to say something but being unsure what. He's...not entirely sure what he's decided to do with his feelings, what to call them or how to say them, but he's acknowledged them and he knows he has to communicate them in some way. Perhaps it's the crowd that stops him. He'd like to believe that's the only reason. He tenses, slightly, as Gundham touches him. It's nice...but so...held back compared to everything. Why is he disappointed? It's not like they're that touchy outside of bed anyway!

It's fear, that's all he really knows. Fear that's making this more difficult than it has to be. If he wasn't scared, maybe he would've already had his answer and he wouldn't be so confused anymore, he wouldn't be craving so much and he wouldn't feel desperate for the smallest word. But he's decided he hates this feeling. He hates having to hold it in his chest, hates that it keeps turning his stomach and ruining such beautiful moments. He needs to just get them out.

Kazuichi finds himself standing, hurrying out and down the hallway until he catches up to Gundham, grabbing onto his sleeve. He keeps his gaze on the ground, awkward. "...do you...mind if I come with you?"

Gundham's open left hand wavers a moment, and then he very, very gently ventures to close it around the grasp on the bottom of his sleeve. He'd heard the footsteps coming, and he'd heard them approach quickly, and somewhere in his infinite stores of knowledge, he'd known well that they were meant for him. He's thankful to have the fingers under his, if even just a little for now, he is, but he finds that he doesn't have much to say. He has questions, but they're the sort he's learned to let lie. So he tugs on the hand, silently encouraging him along, before he drops it in case Kazuichi changes his mind. "Always welcome," he says, barely audible through his scarf, as he quietly clicks his door open.

Gundham's kindness is what's left him with a stir of confusion the most, but he can't say he wants him to stop. It makes him feel desired and needed, things he had never really thought about but now he doesn't think he wants to go without.

Chapter Text

Kazuichi holds onto Gundham until they step into the room, turning on the bathroom light before sitting on the bed to allow for just enough light for the other to see what he's doing as extracts the hamsters from his person. It's quiet but not tense. He finds himself wanting to just sit and watch him more every chance he gets. And now after what he saw in the files, he wants to make this man so happy. He can't be so selfish as to offer no equivalent exchange to all the wonderful things Gundham has made him feel thus far.

"Was your day okay?" He finds himself asking, rather abruptly, trying to break the silence and create conversation.

"It was fruitful," Gundham says, and then gives a grunt of frustration. Reikon is refusing to leave his neck. He pulls his scarf down to grab him, but he sleepily shuffles to the back instead, making Gundham chase him around in a lazy circle. "My own realm was enriched..." he huffs one more time in resignation as he just tightens up his scarf and pats the little guy settling under his chin. "I had no time for epiphany, but the logical mind weaves tapestry better over time than it does all at once. In time the dedication of my arcane battery to a cause will have emerged a saviour."

Kazuichi hums to show he's listening, though he's not sure he fully understands him. He wants to, but somehow the words he's saying aren't quite as important to him right now as the sound of his voice is. How can he miss someone he was watching on a screen all day? Someone he was laying skin to skin with only the night before? Things he'd said were in his mind all day but not what the version of him in the videos had said. Those helped, Kazuichi could plainly see the disguised attraction in some of those, but there were so many other things that stirred throughout him. He stands up, stepping closer to be beside Gundham and pausing as he tries to find his words. So much to say yet not enough preparation, rushing himself as always. "...I...I guess mine was productive. But it was a bit hard taking notes this time."

Gundham stays still beyond turning his head slightly to watch his silhouette approach. "...Tell me of what shape the terror took this time. I remember only broad strokes."

"Mostly just...stuff from school." He's not sure how to describe it, especially through what he feels right now. "Things being way happier than they really were."

"...Correct. Those are the 'broad strokes'," he sighs and shrugs a shoulder before he finally turns to face Kazuichi properly, lips pursed, brows furrowed. "I wish it were dramatic," he admits, "or much more magical. Although through my eyes surely you were able to see the true form of the memories of the world, as it really was..."

Kazuichi stares at him, his chest squeezes. "I-I guess...I don't know..." He can't tell if he's worried by his expression or suddenly embarrassed. Perhaps he's just overwhelmed overall making this all so much harder than it needs to be. "I guess I saw things that I normally wouldn't..."

Gundham averts his eyes briefly and then forces himself to focus again, staring him down intensely. "...I assumed that you would. I did not give you permission under any restriction, even after thinking over the possible consequences."

He nods, looking down to the ground as he steps closer. "Like...I didn't know you liked stuffed animals that much." He says as he gingerly holds onto his clothes again.

"I d– I don't care for the human crafted approximations of the pure souls. They can not be captured by plastic eyes, cloth and thread, thrown together by machines...!" Like he somehow has ground to stand on. Like somehow Kazuichi might just suddenly believe him despite the fact he now has evidence. "I…they..." he shies away a little from the grip this time - doesn't pull away, but he doesn't take Kazuichi's hand, either. "Their influence is directly related to the power one holds... A being like me is... reduced to a helpless whelp at their behest... Their wretched and bewitching gaze..."

And Kazuichi steps forward, just shy of making any more contact, staring at their feet. "You know if...if we found the right materials, I could make you one." It shouldn't be too hard to do, right? And...if it would make Gundham happy enough. He'd love to give him something special like that. "I mean, I probably can't make it the most accurate thing in the world but...I could still do something..."

"You would purposefully craft such a powerful talisman for draining my essence?! Evil...using the weaknesses you have unveiled in your conquest against me..."

He finds a smile gracing his face, rubbing the clothes between his fingers. "...if you'd like it, then I can make that my next project. Do you want something in particular?"

"And you want me to reveal to you yet more? Have you no shame ? Never could I have fathomed..." The slightly shaking hand still held aloft and stiff relaxes a little, settling onto Kazuichi's wrist and curling around it loosely. Having Kazuichi try to replicate or replace one of his lost idols would be bittersweet at best, but he's willing to...expand his tastes. "...Shark?"

Kazuichi smiles wider, gripping ever so slightly tighter. Gundham's tease is so clearly there yet he can't find himself focusing on it. "Okay. A shark it is." He glances up at him. "That should be easier than something else."

"...I thought you had no interest in unravelling my fabric, only in the practical use of my data."

"I-I mean...yeah...but it was kind of hard to ignore." Before it seemed so much easier to go in and not care all too much, but with how emotional those last ones were and how Kazuichi's been feeling, he couldn't set it aside even if he tried. "But uh- I can try and forget stuff if you think it's weird."

"If I needed your mind wiped I would do it myself." Gundham shrugs and bolsters himself a little, puffing out his chest, his face flushed. "I just...I would like to be sure that your vision of me hasn't been tainted."

"No! No, nothing like that..." How could he think poorly of him now? It'd be really hard to change his opinion so drastically. "Unless me knowing how cute you can be is tainted ."

The red rushes from Gundham's cheeks to his forehead and ears. Kazuichi would find it to be all over his neck, too, if it weren't covered. "I would consider that one of the first steps into utter contagion takeover, yes. A healthy fear of me is integral to navigating any situation in which I'm present. Like you would treat a large carnivore."

Kazuichi laughs, breathy and shaky. "Just because you're cute doesn't mean I'm not scared..."

"...Ah. G-...Good, then...because I could easily hurt you. Even as equals." He tugs his hand away only to find that he's still holding tightly to Kazuichi's. That it's now against his side where he'd intended to tuck himself away and hide. He can feel himself sweating. They've laid together! Why is this so straining on his soul? What is it, even? What's the purpose, other than to tell Gundham that he's been emasculated in the eyes of his companion?! He can't hold eye contact anymore. Or the straight-backed posture. "Just for the sake of...for the sake of assessing your fitness...what...would it be that you were afraid of?"

Kazuichi swallows. Hesitating. He still doesn't know how to say it but he has to. "I'm..." If he wants Gundham to know, why is it so hard to say? "I'm terrified of the way you make me feel. When you do anything at all." He leans closer, doing what he can to keep looking up at him. "Like...what if it turns out I never want you to stop?"

"Don't use your hidden powers of spellweaving on me...!" Gundham shoves his whole face into his scarf as Kazuichi comes near, squeezing his eyes shut with a whine. It doesn't last long, though. Once he has the noise out of his system, he comes back up for air and grabs his arm with his other hand. "In what world is it that you imagine I would stop before the universe's final breath?"

"I-I don't." The hold is grounding, in a way. His heart is still beating so hard and his stomach still feels like a tornado. It's terrifying to think Gundham could be so persistent, but it's also terrifying to think he wouldn't have to be. But...it's not really that he's scared. He is, there's no denying how much of a coward he is, but it's also a deep feeling of— "And I want you to kiss me so bad." —desperation that's been inside him for so long it would come out regardless of who was standing before him right now. It's insecurity battling with selfish need, and uncertainty with how his desires are met with encouragement for once.

Something in him leaps , and it takes everything Gundham has not to immediately follow through on instinct. He clenches his jaw and holds it tightly while he stares with feverish intensity. " You want me ," he tries to make it an assertion, but it comes out uncertain.

Kazuichi finally looks away, his cheeks finally flush pink. "...I mean...have I made it seem like I don't from when you first kissed me?"

Well. He doesn't want to cause any argument, but he's also not really accustomed to lying so directly, so Gundham just sort of makes a face in response, half a snarl and half a politely pursed frown.

"...I'm sorry." He's not even sure if Gundham's reaction is bad, it just feels like it. He's been affectionate, evidently so, but he supposes he's also been distant in some ways. "I...I really don't want it to feel like I'm using you."

Without hesitation Gundham shakes his head, just slightly, and forces out a, "Not using me. If anything, keeping me at appropriate distance. I..." The slight wobble in his voice makes his throat bob suddenly and Reikon stirs and begins to sniff across his neck. It makes Gundham chuckle a little, unintentionally, which knocks loose a little bit more of a wet sound in his voice, "If anyone should repent it ought to be he who commits the much more heinous crime of reminding you of that distance whenever he is able rather than embracing the strides already made."

"No, it's okay." Sure it might seem pushy but Kazuichi appreciates it a bit. The reminders force him to be where he is now rather than forget there's any distance between them at all. "...I just know it's not fair. If you put yourself forward, I don't want to be the one half-assing it. It's just that...it's so easy to kiss you and not think about anything else..."

Gundham holds his arm a little tighter and raises the hand to their chests and holds it between them. "You are too intelligent to despise thinking as much as you do."

The hold is starting to hurt but he doesn't dare pull back. "Machines and logic make sense. They have rules and diagrams. People and people emotions don't..."

"They do have their own laws. You just need to pay close attention. Humans all have desires and their ways of satisfying those desires. Once you figure out what pattern they follow, it is then easy to understand what they want and what they will do next." He pauses, stutters a little, and then, "Of course, that doesn't mean...doesn't mean that this applies to me, necessarily." And so he needs to actually say what he wants, then, doesn't he? Ugh. Gundham frowns, squeezes yet tighter, feels the beat of Kazuichi's pulse in his arm with as strongly as he's gripping him. At first he enjoys it, but then realizes that it's probably uncomfortable and forces himself to relax his white knuckles. "When it comes to demons...they do not respond fondly to the same sort of trickery humans do. They're straightforward. They're understanding. They're vengeful, but only when it's necessary."

"But that's exactly the problem! If humans lie and don't just say what they want, how am I supposed to understand them!" Actually, Kazuichi's understanding Gundham far more than he thought he ever might. He's always had issues with people and communication in what is probably a similar way Gundham has just for slightly different reasons. Surely that makes talking to him easier. "I can't just pull apart a person and put them back together to figure out what's wrong with them. And even when I do everything they ask, they'll still turn around and get mad at me! You can do everything right and people will still leave you in the blink of an eye-!" He pauses, staring off at nothing in particular. "...that's...kind of what makes it so scary. I don't even really understand what's happening in my own brain half the time."

"You hold yourself to the standards of Man. I used to do this. Relinquishing it does not fix all problems, but it releases a part of the soul." He shrugs and finally lets go. "But it's lonely," he admits.

"...I don't want to be lonely." Kazuichi leans his forehead against him, staring down at his torso. Loneliness is what he's always been trying to avoid, it's why he tries so hard to be seen as cool, why he even looks the way he does in the first place. Even so...he hasn't felt terribly lonely in a while. "...you know, it's weird that when I finally got over all your metaphors, you turned into possibly the easiest person for me to understand." He reaches up, fiddling with his clothing to busy his hand. "I always kind of felt on edge about what people were saying but...you always seem like you mean what you say even when it doesn't make any sense."

"...It's lonely either way, though, isn't it? Being unable to fit comfortably into the skin of a human just leaves your true form raw and sore..." Gundham puts his chin down onto Kazuichi's head and relaxes into the touch. Reikon squirms against the pressure and ends up popping out onto the top of Kazuichi's head and lying half in the scarf and half on the hair as he falls back asleep. "I use my words only to represent what's in my soul, whether those around me will believe it or not. If they don't, they're either Man or infected with its inhibitions," he shrugs, "...Anyway. If you continue to peel from the status quo, you will have me, for whatever that is worth."

Kazuichi closes his eyes for a moment, letting the words and touch sink in for a while. "...so...when I was in middle school, I decided to dye my hair." He's not sure how important the story is but he feels the need to share. "It was meant to be this cheap, vibrant blue but it didn't really work because I didn't bleach. So I saved up and bought this two in one pack and made my hair bright red. And...people liked it. They thought my hair was cool and would ask me how I did it, and that felt good. I wasn't really someone who got that much attention before." He takes in a deep breath, letting his arms wrap around Gundham. "So I kept doing it. I stopped getting haircuts and just let the dye grow out before going and buying a new one. I always got whatever colour was the brightest and cheapest in stock so I've done everything except white and purple. People wanted to hang out with me a-and date me but...despite how much I liked it and how confident the attention made me feel, I didn't know what to do. I felt like I needed to try to be more punk and be the cool person they clearly were expecting me to be even though I've always just been the complete opposite to that." He's not crying, in fact, he sounds rather calm. He's just slowly letting himself process all of this and getting to the root seems to be what's easiest. "I've been doing it all for so long that that part of me is just...normal now. I've never been the relaxed, cool guy but I'm not lying when I act like I am." Which is what makes this all so strange. Personalities and feelings are so complicated, his own spins into something he can hardly recognise because it feels like nothing but contradictions. "And having this class and being with you has made it easier to not shove down everything I used to - even when I was going to that engineering speciality school right before Hope's Peak, I wasn't exactly as erratic as I am now...but I was definitely almost there." He purses his lips, squeezing Gundham. "...I'm...grateful. I got to feel validated for liking the things I like and met people who I can really believe view me as a friend. Even if I was kind of shitty and still figuring stuff out. But...when I'm with them, there's still a part of me that needs to act a certain way...and...I don't feel that with you."

As Kazuichi hugs him, Gundham does the same, gently, with a sigh. He listens quietly, staring at the stripe of light from the bathroom door ajar. He's not good at waiting for others to finish speaking, but he finds no problem in it now. He manages it and nods, slowly, squeezing him back to show that he's still listening. "They are among the best, our circle," he nods, still chewing on the rest of the admission. He can't force himself to agree, but he can't in good faith say he doesn't know precisely what Kazuichi means. They're like calluses. They weren't meant to be there, but they served such a purpose that they're now a flesh and blood piece of him, and he feels safer for them. "Would you want my diagnosis?"

Kazuichi pauses, staring at the floor he can see through the space between Gundham's arm and torso. "You have a diagnosis for that?" He sounds cautiously amused.

Gundham snorts, as if the idea that he wouldn't have something to call it by is so ridiculous that he's not even going to consider the question. And he doesn't, he just powers through. "I've reached into the recesses of your mind and body to touch your essence. That sort of thing is not often easily metabolised by those who have been misidentified their entire waking lives..."

He leans more of his weight against him. "And...what does that mean?"

Gundham holds him steady, giving a low (albeit fake) laugh in his chest. "You, my friend, are not human. Truly, and thoroughly."

Kazuichi is silent for a moment. His instinct is to push back and say he's wrong, but if he thinks about it in terms of not fitting in , it's an accurate assessment. He's always liked machines better because they always seemed much less complicated and he does make an active effort to look as unnatural as possible. "...I guess not." But he's not sure if he likes the idea. He's wanted nothing more than to be accepted by people, to be seen as equal his entire life. But if his humanity is taken away from him, where does he fit? "...does that mean you've figured out what I am instead?"

The pride in his conclusion is clear. He pulls his hands back up his shoulders and over the sides of his face, cradling it, not forcing him to look up. He just holds him there, feeling the heat that radiates out from him. Seeing the way the white wall near to them is tinged a slight pink from the light reflecting off of him. "I believe I have indeed."

Kazuichi's eyes widen slightly, letting himself sit for a moment in the hold before gently pulling back just enough to look up at him if he so desired. "And...what conclusion have you come to?"

"A star," he says into his hair, trying not to let Reikon fall as they begin to part, ever so slightly.

Gundham can feel Kazuichi's face heat up. He loses his words for a moment. How could he say that so casually...? "L-Like...an actual star? Why?"

He runs his thumbs over his cheeks. "Bright and hot. Intense and metalline. Impressive and complex. Lonely and distant and a jewel within and without its constellation. Contrast to the void."

Kazuichi’s lips tremble and he leans closer again to hide his face. Gundham calls him increasingly beautiful things, things he would never even consider to be associated with himself. His words cradle his heart and he finds himself weakened more every time. "...I don't understand my brain." He finally admits. "You say things and you do things and they make me feel...better than I have in so long. To the point I feel undeserving. But I still don't know what to call the feeling."

"'Deserving' is determined by the standard judged against, right?" Gundham ventures, holding him against his chest again. "If you've never even heard of the scale on which your own kind is valued, you can only go off of what it is you've known. You and I and other little beasts and spirits and devils all provide a type of magic of our own. Reviled magic, but power still." He rubs his fingers gently over Kazuichi's scalp and shrugs very subtly, "I'm sorry. That you are here. But I'm here, too, and it can be brilliant."

He holds him tighter, nails gripping his ribs. "I'm so scared." He sniffles. "I've never had any of this with anyone else...I don't want to ruin it. I don't want to do something that makes any of this disappear." His feet are getting tired. He wishes they weren't standing right now. "I've never had someone love me like you do. And I thought I knew what it felt like to be in love but this is different and I don't know why...!" He swallows, his breath coming out shaky. "I don't know what it is you make me feel...but I don't want you to stop. You call me so many things but...I'm happiest when you make it sound like we're already married."

Gundham tenses a little bit but continues to pet him carefully, following the same trail he would on a cat - from cheeks to temples to behind the ears and across the back of the head and starting again, moving slow and being thorough in digging down to the skin. He sighs in relief as his  words dissipate the terrible pit forming and deepening in his stomach, kissing Kazuichi on the top of the head. "Oh, my love. Oh, my only love."

Kazuichi isn't quite crying. He doesn't want to, not after saying he'll try to be more mindful of Gundham's discomfort. But his throat hurts and he blinks out a few tears that quickly dry as he looks up at him. "You make me feel so special...and I want you to feel that good too."

"I feel my strongest when I'm praising you, guiding you, following you," he says quietly, beginning to sway slightly, taking Kazuichi with him as he switches his weight from being placed upon one foot and then the other. "Be with me. ...be with me?"

Kazuichi stares. His hands slide up, wrapping around his neck loosely. It feels too fast. He's been enjoying every moment Gundham smiles at him and finds himself eager to discover all the different ways they can hold one another. Perhaps it's strange but... he's never liked going slowly. Waiting only leads to things moving on without him and it's not as if Gundham is in any way a stranger. ...he'd like to at the very least have this if the world offers him nothing in the end. "I want to be with you."

The cupping of Kazuichi's cheeks tightens and he squeezes him a little, squishes his face, buries his nose into the other's temple and gently nudges him to look up just enough for their faces to meet. He doesn't kiss him, but stays close enough that he can feel the hot, slightly wet, almost-crying breath on his face. "Let's try, then?"

"Okay...please."

Feeling confident, like he can't be seen, Gundham smiles against Kazuichi's face and presses his lips to the corner of the other's mouth. They're so close that watching each other is difficult, but he does enjoy the blurry bits he can get. Even if it's a little humid down here. "My star."

Kazuichi laughs, overwhelmed by his emotions as he pushes up on his feet so Gundham doesn't have to keep leaning down. "You can't keep giving me new nicknames when I don't have any for you."

Gundham stands up straight and hums delightedly, his voice jumping up a half register in genuine surprise and excitement, "Oh, greetings, thank you…" He finally kisses him, just briefly, and then clears his throat to calm himself. "Your inadequacies are your own. If I were to slow down for you it would be disrespectful."

He whines, chasing his lips. "But I don't want to just use your name when you're saying romantic stuff..."

He doesn't want to say that Kazuichi can call him whatever he'd like, but...well. He can't think of much that would put him off at this point. There's been some rude names for him in the past, but 'Hamster-chan' doesn't feel so bad now. "You have clearance..." Gundham fights to keep them from kissing , dodging the movements until he can finish speaking, "to don me titles...in moderation..."

Kazuichi pouts at him but not for very long as they kiss. Each one is shorter and sweeter than all the ones they've shared before but he wants nothing more than to be as close to him as possible with each one he's given. He doesn't want to stop for anything. Being close and physical feels good and he understands it...and his ever nerve flutters as he allows himself to be caught up in them. Allows himself to say that he loves them and he wants to have them all. They comfort him, in a way. "In moderation?" He frowns as if to call him a hypocrite without outright saying it. "I only know lame ones though, how am I meant to compete with yours?"

"Lame by whose estimation?!" Gundham demands, patting the cradled cheek.

"Well-! Just...normal." He feels so hot but not really embarrassed. Instead his insides are a swirling mix of joyous relief. "I dunno, does calling you babe really make sense?"

Gundham thinks it over for a second, and then, "Like the pig. Yes," he nods, and then shrugs, "or like the pure sacrifice to be given to the dark lords. Both would fit."

Kazuichi puffs out his cheeks, leaning their foreheads together. "Fine, but it's still not as pretty as the stuff you call me."

"Then think of others. Simple." He shrugs, "There are words aplenty available to you." With that, though, he releases Kazuichi's face and pulls away, patting his scarf to make sure his little companion is still with him. He is. He's also more sluggish now, so he can yank the little thing out of his scarf and set him in his bedding, finally, the little beast snoozing away.

"But it's hard!" He groans to himself. The problem is that he's never given anyone a nickname and he doesn't want to force it. He wants it to be perfect and make sense to be given to him. He wants Gundham to know how it feels to be given a unique name too... But he sighs as he sits on the bed. Maybe it'll come to him eventually. "But...uhm...we're like- seriously dating now...right?"

With the hamsters finally set to their own devices, Gundham shrugs his coat off his shoulders. He likes knowing that he doesn't have to worry about freezing when Kazuichi is around. He stands in front of him, looking down at him, trying to keep his face straight. "Partner?" He asks, raising his blank brows, "Boyfriend?" he continues to needle.

Kazuichi frowns, looking away. "...yeah. You'd be my boyfriend." he shifts slightly. Boyfriend... it doesn't feel as weird as he thought it might.

Gundham poses, holding one hand out and running the other up his chest and then over the top of his head where he holds it and shakes it palm-forward, all wiggling fingers, and continues to exhaust the list. "Husband. Spouse. Mate."

"Yes! Any of them, just pick one and stick to it!"

"Significant other. Better half." He spins around once and then puts his knees on either side of Kazuichi's lap and leans into him, a palm on either side of him on the mattress. "Consort."

He whines in embarrassment as he wraps his arms around him again. "I-I get that you're excited, but you can't tease me so much..."

Now it's Gundham's turn to blush a little. Excited? Him? "I'm simply asking what you would prefer and making sure you are aware of all your options...!"

"You could call me your damn servant and I'd let you." He's not sure if that's really a good argument for his point. "Just use whichever makes sense or stick to boyfriend...!"

"Rival?" He offers, bonking his forehead against Kazuichi's, and then rubs their noses together. "Boyfriend is fine. ...Do I have to stick to one?"

Kazuichi pulls him down as he lets himself fall onto his back. "No...you can use whatever one makes sense in your sentence."

He flickers a little smile and falls onto his elbows above him instead. "How generous of you."

...he finds himself thinking Gundham looks so incredibly attractive right now. He's blurry and Kazuichi can't make out the details he could with his contacts in...but he's so close and his tone is light. He can't think of a time he's ever seen such joy from him before. "Would you just come here and let me kiss you again?"

Gundham lowers himself down, gently, and touches their lips together, eyes still open albeit half-lidded. He lies there for a brief second and then parts his lips just a little to kiss him gently, slowly, drawn-out, careful. Kazuichi sighs through his nose. It's...so perfect. How is it that his life has led him here where he feels lighter than he ever has before? How is it that he finds himself laying with such a wonderful man sharing kisses? It's all he's ever really wanted. He doesn't let him pull back too far, not for a good few long moments until he finally lets up. He wishes he could see him properly...but he doesn't need to. "I...I love you...or... I'm...pretty sure I do."

Good. Gundham has no intent to leave, not in the near future. They only part when he notices that the sniffling from earlier left Kazuichi a little snotty, and that's what he's feeling on his nose after he's been poking around near his mouth. It's no big deal. The thought makes him smile, really. A smile that falters a moment. Not because he's upset, but because he's battling down his own wobbling bottom lip that refuses to listen to reason. Specifically the reasoning being that he feels good. "I love you," See? That's how you do it, teach by example... His internal attempts at making himself feel superior aren't working to deal the finishing blow to this enemy of his ego. He clears his throat and purses his lips. "...Ah. Um. How much longer do you plan to tromp through the false world until you reach my salvation?"

Kazuichi blinks, the question almost complete whiplash. "Oh- uh..." He turns his head away, giving himself a moment to bring himself into normal conversation. "No, I already finished those."

Gundham makes a short annoyed noise, more with himself than with Kazuichi, as he sits himself up on his elbows again and swipes back hair that's hanging in his face. Not only should he have known, he also should have just used the moment for what it was obviously destined for. (He hasn't been able to kiss Kazuichi for extended periods of time without one or both of them being touched, without some sexual intimacy, and he knows he started it by making his grand and sudden declaration with Kazuichi's mouth around him, but...) He closes his eyes and takes a breath, and then, "So that's..." The timing of his confession makes much more sense now. It's not as if they'd have much else to keep them glued together in a professional sense after tonight, then. "A chapter finished. Understood." There's a silent apology given in the way Gundham averts his eyes, first to the far wall and then just to Kazuichi's chest. "...Are you warming my bed tonight?"

Kazuichi's hands slide down to just hold his neck, furrowing his brows in confusion. Poor vision only makes it harder to try and figure out what Gundham's feeling, but he finds a pang of worry in his chest. "I mean...if you'll let me." He rathers sleeping soundly in his arms than the idea of going back to his own room alone. If he can help it, he doesn't want to find out if Gundham really is the only thing allowing him a good rest.

"My council rules it acceptable," He'd like nothing more. He'd been concerned he may have to go a night without. But there's just something else suddenly eating at him. "Could it be just that? This time? Provide me your warmth to take without consequence? I'm aware that I left you hanging last time, but, ah..."

Kazuichi stares at him for a moment. And then he laughs, genuine as he pulls Gundham's head down to be closer to him again. "I told you not to worry about that. I started crying and went flaccid, it happens." More times than he would openly admit, but normal nonetheless.

Gundham collapses in relief atop him, the last of his worries all quelled. Kazuichi's seen it all, he loves him, he's not bitter over their escapades (or lack thereof). Everything is fine. Everything is okay. "I wasn't worried. I was using my fine-tuned judgment to make a call on whether you would be seeking revenge or not..."

"I'm not going to seek revenge on you unless you were like super mean." He ruffles his hair. "Not like we haven't slept without fucking first before anyway."

"No, in that instance it was directly after," he sighs out until there's nothing left in him and takes a deep breath to calm his overzealous heart. He's big enough that when he's atop the other instead of the other way around, not much of Kazuichi is uncovered at all. He's pretty well buried, so it's hard to find a spot to put his hands that's not being pretty compressed.

Kazuichi pouts. "I wasn't trying to make that sexual, you were just really cute all sleepy and got hard from morning kisses." He pokes his forehead.

Gundham makes a face and buries himself in his neck, "For a significant period after the rebirth of my vessel in the waking realm it prepares itself for any possible battle!" Including sword fights, apparently. He shakes his head subtly and lifts himself up just enough to be able to scoot down a little to make his position in the spot between his shoulder and jaw easier to maintain.

"So I could fuck you every morning if I just make out with you while you're waking up?" He laughs. How come Gundham doesn't see how cute he is? "No, but I promise I won't get too touchy. I'm happy just cuddling and...being normal."

"I would be 'hard', but whether or not I would allow you to envelop me is another matter." He grumbles. They need a hobby that isn't sex, he fears, and while breaking into Gundham's brain isn't an option..."If I were to offer you safe passage to the surface beneath my wing of darkness to bless your eye with the third dimension, would you be taken?"

Kazuichi goes silent for a moment. "...I mean probably but I've got no clue what I'd be agreeing to."

"Outside."

"We go outside all the time." He squeezes him. "I was actually thinking maybe we should go read together at some point."

Gundham raises his brows, obviously interested, "Research to share between us, or to revel in the silence?" He doesn't even entertain the idea of fiction at first.

"Mh...either or. I'm okay just sitting together reading two different things."

He bares his teeth a little, setting his chin right in the middle of Kazuichi's chest to look up at him. "Sounds very akin to the days of prison." Sure, it's sort of school-like, but he is exaggerating a little when he calls it prison . He also had potentially the best times of his life there, but really...? He always assumed that Kazuichi only really indulged in that sort of thing in Gundham's presence as a power play, although he supposes he should have known better, given his many talents. "The compendium of modern informational networks was laid before me when I awoke and requested the nearest knowledge. I assumed you had already performed your dissection of it," he shrugs slightly - that and the one they'd been sort-of sharing earlier are the only ones he has sitting around.

"I meant like...going to the library. Some of the books might be fucked, but Sonia hangs out there sometimes." It's a good way to pass the time and, frankly, it might be good for him considering he hasn't done reading in...years. "There might be some interesting manga there and the non-fiction selection is apparently pretty good."

"I always assumed that the collection of texts in a language I would be able to read would be minimal, given the very worldly-central location of the resort." It doesn't mean he isn't willing to try, though, it just means that he's going to be annoyed if the only manga they have are the most popular trashy ones, because they needed to fill their Japanese section. He'll still read them, and anything else they've got, because he's at the point where he's near insatiable, but still .

"Yeah but being so close to Japan means there's gonna be a good selection of Japanese stuff..." Kazuichi runs his fingers through Gundham's hair, staring at the ceiling so he doesn't have to constantly look down. "But I could like...teach you to read English."

"All of the promotional material is in English," he argues, very intent on being correct in this situation - or at least to put up a good fight about it. The way Kazuichi stops making eye contact is good enough of a win for him, though, and he stops bristling almost immediately. "Insitutions already tried, I do not see how you would fare much better." He knows a little , but it was one of those subjects that didn’t click nearly fast enough for him to stay interested. The things he excelled in immediately were way more his forte, because he could brag about them just fine, even from the start.

"It's like learning to read all over again, but you don't really need to learn English." Kazuichi shrugs. He wasn't going to force it on him if Gundham really wasn't interested. (And man, playing with his hair with his stomach crushed actually feels kind of nice?) "But, if you don't know it, that means I can just read anything in English to you." He grins at the idea.

Gundham doesn't get the full expression, but he does get to see the smile even from here. He's so much taller than Kazuichi that seeing him from this angle is odd and unnatural, but it's nice. It's very nice. He has a nice hollow under his chin, and he has a nice voicebox, too. The grin is strange but beautiful from this angle, too. "...Just know that if your efforts are futile, you were well warned in advance," he gives in easily, though. Sure, why not? He doesn't mind a new project, although this one is one he could fail. "I would be willing to recognize those efforts, though."

"So you'd rather I teach you instead of translating for you?" Disappointing, but he understands. "Okay, if you're serious. Plus, if you really want to speak it, we have plenty of people around who know enough to help with conversation."

"Both would have their place, wouldn't they? Exposure makes for fast learning. Simply let me read over your shoulder between your lessons." He does think about it, though - Sonia would be just fine to speak with. He'd love to hear what her cadence is like in another language, although he's not sure he'll get good enough at it to be able to tell the intricacies, but he'll hold out hope. The others, well... maybe he'll acquire those tastes.

Kazuichi laughs a few notes. "You'll get the hang of it. And if you don't, not that much of a big deal. People say you're smarter if you're bilingual but that doesn't seem totally right..."

"I am a polyglot, just not in any situation in which you all would be familiar," he asserts, haughtily, leaning his cheek onto Kazuichi's chest and startles slightly at the noise. Oh, right. People have hearts under there, don't they? Huh.

"Yeah? And are those human languages or other stuff?" He raises an eyebrow, teasingly.

"'Other stuff'," he says, mimicking the word choice and intonation as closely as he can, even going so far as to raise his voice to mock it, "Before now there was no reason to partake of your tongues." He smooths Kazuichi's shirt out and presses his ear to him for a second longer before he sits up completely. Joking aside - he is excited about the idea. Plainly.

"Well, there's not really a reason to speak anything other than your native language in most cases." Kazuichi looks at him probably as he moves, keeping himself laying down but still giving him a weird look. "I only know because it was mandatory in like every school I ever went to."

Whether the other feels like going out or not, Gundham goes for his coat again and tosses it over his shoulders, turning to look back at where Kazuichi still lies. "The legions often claim mandatory as a euphemism. What they mean is that you will face ostracization or other penalties."

Kazuichi groans when he realises what they're doing, rolling over to sit himself up. "Are you seriously dragging me out to read right now? "

Gundham shrugs, pulling his arms through the sleeves, "The darkness does not claim me yet." He's not tired, it's not like he'd be able to sleep this early.

He pulls himself up to his feet with a displeased sound. "Fine, but I need to get stuff from my room first."

This nets him a flicker of a smile sent his way. "Anything for you." Except stay in and relax, apparently

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Kazuichi walks over to turn off the bathroom light as Gundham opens the main door, the two of them walking to his room.

Chapter Text

The first thing Kazuichi does is pull on a pair of shoes. He briefly debates getting a jacket or something but it's probably not that cold compared to the other day. But, since he wants to spend the night reading, he'll actually need to be able to see. So he opens his drawer and…pauses. He can't wear these contacts forever, he knows that. They'll wear out one day and it'll probably be a while until he can get replacements. The glasses aren't exactly what he needs but they're good enough...but thinking about it makes him roll his shoulders.

He closes the draw, silent a few more moments before he stands with his pink eyes he hasn't had in a few days. It's weird, he hasn't gone that long without correction in years so it takes a moment to get used to again, but he does step forward to join Gundham. "Alright, I'm good now. We can go."

Gundham stares, nods, and then gestures with a hand for him to leave the room first. "What's your stones' refraction? Is this a number you know by heart?" Out of habit he checks out the hallway to make sure it's empty before they move out into it, even though they're not doing anything against any rules, not for a couple of hours still.

"Uhm...I'm like a 2.0, so moderate astigmatism." It is better that he can see, actually. Kazuichi likes being able to actually look at people and know what's right in front of him instead of blurry shapes. He probably shouldn't negate his contacts for that long again. "I can see just fine if I actually wear my contacts but without them you're just a mass of grey." He says as he wraps himself around Gundham's arm as they walk. "I've considered laser eye surgery but...it's expensive and who knows how long I'd be waiting for that now."

"Now? Endlessly, likely," Gundham continues to stare down at him, brow furrowed. His eyes look crystal clear and sharp - it's a different feeling from the warm dark ones behind the lenses. He does like both, but this one is definitely... scarier, in a way. "Mass of grey is not too dissimilar to my true form," he says, bending at the elbow to cradle Kazuichi's arms. It's not much different from supporting some other large beast, although he does a good job of supporting himself. More so than a snake does, anyway. To be fair to her, she didn't have any legs. "You continue to view my soul bare, do you?! How long is it you've been gazing at the sun unaided?!" He needles, leaning into him playfully and elbowing him a little, trying to throw him off balance as they exit to the stairs. It's nice to be in here when the lights are still on and he can actually take the stairs without worrying they'll both go down hard.

"I dunno, I took them off when we started going to bed together and never got the chance to put them back on." Which...may have been why he was having a harder time writing notes about the last few files but he refuses to acknowledge that. "Does it matter? I don't think I can screw myself up anymore than I already have."

"Going to bed together. How formal. For any reason?" Once again Gundham is absolutely delighted to find that the outdoors are warmer than inside. The sun is still out, even, which is nice, though it won't be for very much longer. "Comfort? Couldn't be, as then I would be surprised if you were not battling trepanation demons the entire time."

Kazuichi frowns. Formal because he doesn't want to call it straight up sleeping together. Even though that's exactly what it is, that also makes it sound sexual and they're trying to avoid that for now. "Well...I have been sleeping better with you." He mumbles.

Gundham finds that he's right. Not that he'd had much experience in trying to sleep without Kazuichi, given the nature of his post-waking timeline and how much of it he'd spent ill on and off, but... "It's been smoother than I expected," he admits, his eyes squarely on the sky and relying entirely on the other to keep him from falling, "I thought that sharing my space would be harder."

"Yeah...I never took you as a cuddling type, but I guess I should've known better." They all did figure out pretty quickly that he wasn't as dark and brooding as he tries to come off so maybe Kazuichi should've figured out he was that soft. But, once again...shows how well he was paying attention in the past. "It's a good thing though because if we're going to make this work, you need to be okay with way more of this." 

"I do exude a rigid aura, don't I? In the end, I'm the best of both realms..." he gives a dark chuckle and holds the other tightly against his side, making them both stumble a little.

"I mean, if you say so, man. But now that I've seen you being cute, I can't unsee it." He's rather happy to lean close to him. It's a nice night, as it has been every other time they've gone out. Briefly, it makes Kazuichi wonder how often it rains on the island but he's happy to excuse it if it means he can freely walk around without getting drenched. "...but...you will tell me if I'm being way too clingy or touchy, right?"

"Your very first informant on the ground will be me," Gundham nods solemnly, deciding quietly to himself that perhaps he can be cute if his soldiers can be as well. "Even if it is in some word you do not understand, you will know of my intentions." Probably. Even if he can't figure out how to say it, he's got no problem just telling Kazuichi to stop until he has his head sorted out. "...And you, me? In those forms and any others my power may manifest?"

"I don't think it's possible for you to be too touchy." Kazuichi adores any and all amounts of physicality so he cannot imagine himself getting sick of being hugged, but he's also fairly certain Gundham wouldn't want to be on top of each other all day every day so it should even out. "But yeah. I'll still tell you if you fuck something up. I mean...it'll be pretty easy to tell when something happens and I'm not into it."

"In any form!" He reasserts with a bit of a snap and a dramatic lift of their arms all in the big bundle that they are. He nods, though. Surely if something goes too far or not far enough or too wide for Kazuichi's tastes, he can just...fix it. Probably. Nothing to be worried about now. It's Kazuichi. He's been surprisingly accepting of everything thrown at him so far.

The library's façade (meant to look a bit old but quite modern, all things considered) is lit up by the soon to set sun, making the windows a little difficult to look at from this angle, but it should mean that inside, even if the lights don't work, they'll have plenty of light to pick out a couple of things to haul back. Or maybe even to sit and read there, if the electricity still functions like it has been in the other buildings just fine. Since Kazuichi is clung to him pretty tight, still, he forgoes the maybe more polite method of letting him go first or whatever and instead just goes straight for the doors himself, shoulder-first.

Kazuichi briefly looks around. He's barely ever here. They'd checked it out a few times when they were going through everything they could access on the island, but he's actually had some amount of maintenance work he can do that he hasn't found himself wanting to just sit down and read. It'll probably be good for him though. He leads Gundham over to the non fiction section before letting go, pulling out a random book and flipping through it. "Well, it looks like the building is still intact." The book is dusty but it doesn't seem gross in any other way so hopefully it's the same with all of them. "Anything in particular you want to read about?"

Gundham's already looking through others, crouched down near the floor as he goes through the spines, mostly on instinct. He feels, once again, sort of childish, in the way he does when they go out and 'play'. This time, it's because he's paying more attention to the way the books are decorated than to what they say. Kazuichi was right, there are some available in multiple languages, but most of them are exclusive to one, and near around half of them are exclusively in Latin script. He could probably sound out most of the words and phrases by pulling on his memory, but he's not sure he'd know what the hell he was saying. "It is impossible to imbibe every ounce of knowledge of my homeworld, and so even in this wretched era I find myself longing for its comfort."

Kazuichi hums, scanning the shelves for anything animal related. There's a pause, he laughs to himself as he holds out a book to Gundham. "Well then you'll probably need that."

Gundham looks up over his shoulder and then down at the book in his hand. It's a book on ocean creatures. Kazuichi seems rather amused with himself by the suggestion. He raises his upper lip in a snarl and sits himself right down on the floor, taking the book and looking it over. Sure, the laugh is a bit offensive, but Kazuichi is right. "...My point proven, obviously. To plumb every depth is not even omniscience, it would be... super omniscience." He flicks through. It looks like it's fairly introductory. Old, with scientific illustrations instead of picture diagrams. The print is a little large and the pages are worn.

"Yeah yeah. You just need to know enough that I can't one-up you, right?" He continues grinning to himself as he turns back to look through the books and try to find something that sparks his interest. 

"That has already been achieved, thank you," Gundham says, dismissively, as he continues to flick through. Sea stars. Not something he'd thought he would find interesting, but here we are. He knew about their central apertures for their stomachs, but to see one illustrated in various phases of expulsion is neat...

"Oh my god, Gundham look!" He's startled a little, put on edge by the sudden harsh tone, but is set at ease as he spies the grin on Kazuichi's face as he approaches and turns the cover of  another book towards him. "Military equipment! And look how thick it is, it's practically an encyclopaedia!"

He leans in and looks, desperately trying to find something to be interested in about it. The size is impressive. So is the fact that Kazuichi is holding it with one hand for now. The cover is of good quality...it might have something about the environmental impacts of certain large machines, right...? Or, there could be little beasts inside powered by red sparks and silver dollops, wires of copper and strings of gold. That is sort of interesting. Enough that Gundham eventually makes an appeased noise, "To and from what phases of man's designs does it record?" 

Kazuichi flips it open, leaning the book on his knees as he scans the first few pages. "This says it was published about ten years ago...and looks to be most things post guns..." He opens a random page and lets them fly past him, scanning each page before stopping with a noise akin to a squeal. "Look at that!!" He holds up the book again, practically shoving the page full of various tank diagrams in Gundham's face. "Isn't it amazing!? It's so cool!"

Gundham has to put his own book down and hold a hand up to keep the pages in Kazuichi's grasp from being too close to read. Huh . He hadn't ever really seen the inside of one of those things, not that the highly detailed diagrams are especially good at showing a leyman their layouts. Gundham furrows his brow and starts trying to decipher the lines and shading, the extreme detail, the labels. He has no idea what half of the jargon here means, but he can guess on some of them, and others are easy to intuit. Before the other can flip past the page, Gundham mutters a sharp 'wait', still trying to make sense of at least the cockpit.

Kazuichi is practically bouncing. He's trying very hard to stay still enough for Gundham to read but he's much too excited, especially given that he's actually trying to learn. He usually only gets to talk about this sort of stuff with people who are just as interested in it as he is. "They're so complicated with all their little mechanisms! And super massive too! Can you imagine if something that big and that destructive could move fast!?" He looks down at the book again. "Tanks are the sexiest thing in existence, I want to take one apart so bad. "

Gundham huffs a laugh and grabs the other end of the book to try to keep it steady while Kazuichi wriggles, "I imagine that it would be hard to manoeuvre at high speeds. Which I guess would also increase its destructiveness." To be fair, at that point, he would very much rather be inside it than outside. "I thought the armour was much thicker. There is a lot more viscera than I anticipated within them. And space. This one has a passenger's seat?"

"They seem like they should be spacious, but in a war scenario, you've got like at least four people in there at one time so it's not great." He sits himself down on the ground, the book sitting in his lap and leaning against his chest. "You've got one guy controlling where it goes, another guy controlling the guns, another guy keeping track of things on the outside, and your general commander. It's hot, it's loud, it's stressful...not my scene at all but oh man! The craftsmanship of some of these!"

Just thinking about being in a moving vehicle without being able to see outside at all makes Gundham feel a little queasy, especially with a bunch of other people, so he skims past that titbit. The real island counterpart to the one in the simulation likely isn't sporting world military might, so he doesn't even bring up the idea. "I didn't even think of the temperature," he mutters with a frown, "how would you even come into contact with the engine of one? Through some internal tract? Another hatch?"

" That depends on what type you're dealing with, since the location and size of the engine changes with the model as designs are refined and updated." Kazuichi seems very happy to ramble on about it all, pointing out all sorts of details with so much enthusiasm it's a miracle he can even hear Gundham when he asks anything. He doesn't even realise how much he really is talking until the book starts getting harder to see as the sun sets. Kazuichi squints at the text, doing his best to make it out before just shutting the book and sighing. "I just...I think they're neat. They're so cool and I'd love to build engines that big."

"There are machines with hearts larger, surely?" Gundham needles him a little, elbowing him, trying to keep up the excited energy he'd been enjoying so much.

"Hm...a really big boat...ah!! And rockets!!" His smile grows impossibly wider, grabbing the other’s arm. "Rockets are huge! I've read everything I can get my hands on about them and I've designed my own!! I want to build the fastest one in existence, I've even made my own blueprints!!"

"Aha! See!" Gundham laughs triumphantly, and then blinks, the rest catching up with him, "You designed your own? " He hasn't been keeping up with Kazuichi's investments. Strangely enough, he hadn't had a lot of time after the Tragedy. He just remembers that very early on he'd expressed his desire to design something like that, but hadn't been confident enough to put it on paper. When had that happened?! He's actually quite excited about the idea - both of Kazuichi getting a big enough ego to do his own work, even if it's just blueprinting, and of the fact that there was, at some point if not still, something like that made by his hand.

"Oh yeah! I was planning on going all out with my final exam, and if I could design something that awesome, I figured I'd get offers to actually work with space programs!" Kazuichi squeezes a little too tight, obviously rather pleased with himself. "Obviously the exam never happened, but I'd still started work on a prototype. Way smaller, way less powerful, but same concept and principle." He cups his cheek as he thinks about it, staring off into the distance. "I did get to test it out. Not traditionally but it was still so cool and so fast. Fast vehicles are so easy, they're just not legal. Man, I wish I was able to test them out myself! Even if I did suit up another car, there isn't anyone to drive the baby."

Gundham has an arm around Kazuichi's back to prop himself up on his palm, but he lifts it to pat him on the back instead. "...When you said that you were being permitted use of your time to pursue personal projects..." He's curious, but he doesn't want to start anything that will upset the poor guy.

"It excludes my precious engines!!" Kazuichi finally looks at him again. "I want to build one so bad , I love them so much, but they won't let me! It's not even that hard and I have to just stop myself!" All because he made machine gun cars and giant robots. It's not like he wasn't making those things before but now it's a problem!

"What personal projects do they expect you to partake in then if not that?!" He'd already known the answer, having heard it from Nekomaru, but it's good to have confirmation from the man himself. To be fair, he may also be a little afraid if they gave Kazuichi a welding gun, but not actively. He wouldn't expect him to do anything heinous with it, though the memory might be a little odd to sit with at first. He gets it though. It's the same reason they won't give him a grizzly bear. Even if the Program had gone exactly optimally (which it hadn't), the Foundation still hadn't exactly greenlit their being placed within it in any informed fashion. They're probably worried they're all still screwed up. Most days he feels like he could prove them wrong, though. "Even if we scavenged pieces I'm sure fuel would be a hurdle." 

"I usually just tear things apart and put them back together again. It gets boring quick." Kazuichi hasn't really complained because no amount of begging has gotten him what he wants before, but he would like to be able to actually make things he thinks up himself. At the very least it's something to keep his hands busy. He does grin, however, leaning closer again. " Traditional fuel, yes. If you want just a regular old gasoline engine. But that's the fun part! Figuring out how to get it running with limited resources! I'd totally be down to figure out how to get it working off water. What's fun is the building and the problem solving!"

Kazuichi is in his face again, and for a second, he reaches a hand to cover his mouth and nose with his scarf, feeling a little awkward about breathing on him, and then stalls. For one, he's just suggested something outrageous. For the second thing, that's also his boyfriend , now, so...? He drops the scarf and gives him a peck on the toothy smile. "Even in sci-fi no one dares dream of such an innovation," he says, although his expression is soft and not sceptical in the least.

"Not true! People have been using water to power things for decades, a water powered engine is a step into cleaner energy!" He's holding both of his arms now. "Think about it! Steam powered trains exist, it's basically the same concept! Getting a car to run on water could totally work if you did it right!!"

"...I don't think so, waterwheels and steam power are fine. Forgive my insolence, but would it not have...been...made? Given how aged steam engines are?" He's appreciative of the excitement, though. The energy is good.

Kazuichi laughs. "See, there's a thing called a hydrogen engine that burns hydrogen like you would gasoline. Therefore, water engine. People have been making patents for these kind of things for years but nothing has really stuck yet, and oil is just too easy…can't blame them too much, it does smell nice."

Gundham scrunches his nose, but the rest sounds solid. "...Perhaps a boon then that we have toppled major players of that system," he jokes, and then frowns and cringes a little, obviously not very happy with his own comment.

"Exactly!" Kazuichi squeezes him as if he doesn't even register the displeasure on his face. "Not in like...an anarchist or fascist way, but like if anything good has come from this, it's that we can all step back and iron things out." How did him nerding out turn political? He knows next to nothing about politics, it's totally not his place to say anything. It does, however, briefly remind him of holding Gundham's face and telling him all about what they'll do to rule the world. Not that those talks ended in any solid plans, mostly just a lot of power play, but he does find himself momentarily unnerved. "I really hope I get to participate in the world after this. I don't want to be cast out as a criminal for the rest of my life..."

It doesn't escape Gundham, either, especially given the grip on his arms accompanying it. It certainly sours the mood a little. All of it does. He sighs and lifts his hands to hold Kazuichi's upper arms right back, looking at him from under his downturned, pouty brow. "If we were, it would be justified," he says eventually, with a shrug. No, he can't even bring himself to say that he would get a harsher conviction than Kazuichi would. On this they have certainly always been equals. "I would take the punishment that karmically suits me for my sins and nothing more. So if the worst they can do is ostracize or kill me..." he tsks, "I will continue to carry out my holier works without hesitation. As should you."

Kazuichi frowns, letting out a sigh. He hopes it doesn't come to that. He hopes most people still have no idea who he is and he hopes in ten years, he'll actually be living a normal life. What's he meant to do with himself if they all just...stay here forever? "Yeah...I will." As much as he can. It's a little hard to pursue his passions in the event they're actually convicted for everything that's happened. He knows Makoto doesn't want that...but who's to say what democracy says. "As long as I still have people around...like you."

"You have me." Gundham nods solemnly and averts his eyes, looking into the high rafters as it starts to darken inside the building. There's a rustling up there that explains quite well the patches of destroyed and decayed flooring. Somewhere up there, bats are starting to stir. There must be damage to the walls or roof somewhere. If it's not fixed, these books likely won't last more than one or two more rainy seasons. He leans forward to lay his forehead on Kazuichi's shoulder, suddenly a little overcome with emotions he's not really sure how to describe. A melancholy. Not total hopelessness, but fatigue. His grip relaxes a little.

Kazuichi watches him, adjusting himself to sit a bit closer as he rests a hand on Gundham's head. They all know things probably won't be very happy for a while but...it's nice to feel like it is for a while. Gundham has taken away a lot of the sadness he usually feels. Only for a few hours at a time, but it's nice to forget about it. It makes him worry he won't need him anymore when things improve. "I'm sorry things got depressing," he says, trying to lighten the mood, "but hey, we've got some books now."

"It is not something I'm not always considering. I have learned to metabolize the poison," Gundham reassures him, relaxing further into the spot between his shoulder and neck. He sighs, comfortably. "Unless the Nameless One intends to next aspire to be the Ultimate Carpenter, we should try to rescue more when we're able."

"Yeah, probably. If we had materials, I'd totally be down to fix it myself though." It would give him something to do. Hard work with natural light, seems like it would be good for him. "You know what though, I think maybe you should stop eating poisons."

Gundham's about to tease him but laughs instead. Burying himself in Kazuichi's collar is just as comforting as tucking himself into his scarf. "I'm trying . I'm only now finding out that it's not always necessary."

"Well, at least you don't eat actual poison." He likes the way he sounds when it's just them. He likes how Gundham opens up to him, even just a little bit. He can't say he's ever had anything similar to what he has with him now, even in a platonic sense. It's weird but he does find himself smiling. "Do I have to eat more things for you, huh?"

"...I'm still not convinced this one is unnecessary. To understand how to handle the memories of my reign of terror...it feels as though the least I could do is remember. I wouldn't feed that to you."

Kazuichi grumbles, rocking them side to side. As if most of their memories aren't shared ones. "You're not wrong, " and it's not as if he wants to be talking about his own memories, "but you better tell me if you're bothered by stuff...or I'll eat your arm."

"Hahah, no!" Gundham balks and turns to kiss Kazuichi's cheek, happy to sway with him. "There is not much left of it. And what meagre meal you'd get would be disastrous even for the beasts with bowels of steel." Up above, there's a great clatter and a series of chittering squeaks as the bats begin to move out - Gundham hums to catch Kazuichi's attention, slipping out of his grip to raise either side of his open coat to duck both of them beneath it as well as he can get them. He's not especially worried about rabies or guano, exactly, but there is a lot of dust being kicked up that's begun to rain down around them.

"Fine then, I'll just have to live off other things. Even if your arm would be delicious." He scoffs but does stop, glancing up towards the noise. He's not even sure he would've noticed if it wasn't pointed out. "...do you know what's up there?"

Still chuckling quietly, Gundham gives it some thought. "...Harbingers of madness," he says, eventually, and vaguely - "of what kind, I don't know. There are a lot of bat species out here. I would need to see one, or at least get an idea for their size. They don't seem loud enough to be flying foxes, which is otherwise the most likely sort, but they may just sense that we're here."

Kazuichi makes an uncomfortable face, moving closer to him. "Do we have to stick around to find out?" It's not that he particularly dislikes bats, but they're loud and...a little scary when they fly overhead.

Gundham keeps the coat open like wings over the top of them. "You don't want to?" He cracks a smile, although it's quite dark under the heavy fabric. Despite his teasing, he gestures toward the books on the floor beside them. "You are not a bug or a fruit. They would not be interested in you."

"Yeah but...I was always told you shouldn't get near them." He does trust Gundham to know what he's doing more than other people though when it comes to animals. Problem is, even if they did manage a glimpse of them now, they wouldn't even be able to see them very well. "...but if you're desperately interested." 

"This is true. They have earned their ominous title. We won't be near enough to cause them dismay. I'd like to view them on their ongoing exodus, their images stamped in black against a waning backdrop." Gundham starts to stand slowly - or, tries, an action that's a little difficult when he has another person hanging off of him.

Kazuichi makes an uneasy noise but stands as well, keeping himself close to his side. "Fine. We can watch the bats." He did ramble on for a while so he figures he should allow this at the least. "...how do you know they’re bats just from the way they sound?"

"I have senses that pierce the veil and access information far beyond human understanding." He says, haughtily, and then seems to remember that he's not in the presence of humans at all and elaborates a little more straightforwardly, "There are few beings that live out on these islands that make their homes anywhere but deep beneath the tide. If there were no mice or rats in the telecommunications building, they likely wouldn't be here, either. The only other suspects are flighted, and were they imps, we would have noticed them sooner." Gundham keeps Kazuichi under his wing even after the danger of being hit with tiny debris has passed, all the way until they're out the door, after which he's much more interested in looking up at the darkening sky and wandering around the side of the building, hoping to see silhouettes that he can gauge the distance and size of. "Besides, there are almost two hundred different recorded species in this area alone. If there is a squeak in the rafters, my first assumption as to the culprit will always be the Angels of Insanity. Flying foxes are much louder to the untuned ear than their cousins that rely more heavily on echolocation, but they can also be shy...luckily, they're easy to tell from their kin, as they're much larger and gather in smaller groups..."

Kazuichi nods, that kind of makes sense. He can't say he's really seen bats close enough to identify that they're anything more than bats, but it's nice to see Gundham invested. He sticks close to him even after his coat is lowered regardless of the fact that he feels a bit safer outside. He glances over at him and then over to where he's looking. "...if there aren't any mice on the island, is it more likely that they're fruit bats or something?"

"Much more likely, especially if the rulers were deeming it acceptable to cultivate fruit trees for aesthetics." He leans further to stare straight up, "But insectivores are not uncommon either." He waits a little longer and lets out a bellow of a laugh and points as there's a billow of little dark shapes. He counts maybe two at first, and then another cluster of four or five, and then a slow trickle of them that follow. "Flying foxes," he confirms, "or fruit bats." Uncharacteristically polite for them, but likely fruit bats all the same. "They can have wingspans of one and a half meters. Can you imagine being in the vicinity of such a magnificent beast?"

Their wings are much louder than Kazuichi expected, but it makes sense. They're absolutely massive, even with how far away they are. It's a bit unsettling given how small people usually think bats to be. "...no wonder people used to make up stories about them." Something that big flying overhead leaving nothing but a shadow as identification? It makes him shiver. Makes sense people used to think they were demons. "I'm not really sure where they'd be getting food from though. But there must be a decent amount for them around if there's that many, right?"

"Hah. Fuhahahahah!" Gundham opens both arms and gestures grandly at the sky as it darkens. He takes notice of the direction they head off in first. Perhaps some day he’ll follow them. "Archipelagos like this likely have smaller uninhabited areas or even whole islands. I imagine if any fruit were planted for their blossom or scent on the main islands at all, their seeds would have been carried and spread to any patch of ground they could possibly colonize within a night's flight's reach. The lengths a demon beast astride this rock will go to maintain its own life and progeny are unfathomably extreme!" He likes being outside when it's dim and they're alone. He can reserve all of his attention for the task at hand and not worry a moment about the consequences of hollering into the open air. There technically may be quiet hours here, but above ground, he finds it suits him just fine to forget that they exist at all. "You say stories! I say, watch your neck!" Okay, he's teasing now, but he is pretty excited to be seeing...any kind of living creature with warm blood, honestly.

Kazuichi sort of scoffs. "Don't need to when I've already got you here." It's meant to mean he doesn't need to worry that much when Gundham is already biting it but...it sounds more like a bid for protection. And considering how close they're standing… It is interesting though. He doesn't mind learning things about creatures and he certainly enjoys hearing the sorts of things the other has to say. He's a little loud for someone standing right next to him, but it's not as much of an issue as it might've once been. It's nice. This is nice. He can see why Gundham finds all of this stuff so cool. "What else do you reckon live here? You know, aside from birds. There can't be too many given the size of the island and I practically never see random animals around."

Gundham wraps an arm around him and tugs Kazuichi along, holding him close. It's a stumble figuring out how to walk together, but nobody eats it, so everything is okay. "Seabirds," he ignores the caveat set for him immediately, but then continues on, "Semi-aquatic species. Like seals, sea lions, iguanas, snakes." Impossible to tell if he's just talking too fast to have euphemisms for each, or if the reason is something more, "The real diversity lies within the world's truly most numerous denizens, the worshipers of the sun and their tiny livestock."

So he should be glad he hasn't run into any animals then. Kazuichi stares up at him as he speaks, letting himself be guided rather than actually focusing on where they're walking to. He likes Gundham, the overlord, but he also likes when he appears so simple and human. He should take in as much of the sight as he can before he has to take his contacts out again. "Yeah?" He asks, trying to nudge him into continuing despite not fully knowing what he's talking about yet. "And is that just as interesting to you as other creatures?"

Gundham shakes his head with a scoff like this is obvious, "I can appreciate that they're able to perform ancient transmutative magic lost even to demonkind. To turn the evil energy of the great Paranoid Eye into their sustenance. But beyond this respect they do not interest me. They and their little crawling beneficiaries may stay underfoot where they belong. And if some day I am proven wrong, let them swarm and feast on my treacherous body!"

Ah, bugs. That makes sense. For someone who loves animals, he had such specific requirements for what counted as a true animal in his mind. "That sounds like you have a tier list then." Kazuichi sounds amused, not because it's outlandish, but because he finds it so adorable. He can't stop seeing everything Gundham does as adorable but he truly has no other way of describing how him simply speaking makes him feel.

"And what if I do? The world is unfair." They turn the corner of the library and he peers up at the walls from the ground again. He's looking for that opening the bats have been using to get in and out. A window, maybe? It's hard to tell. It's just a bit too dark. "...Like I said. I do respect them. To actively oppose them would be a crime I would punish. So watch your tongue. ...Are you ready to depart?"

Kazuichi lets his hand meet Gundham's, slotting their fingers together. It's nice being so close and knowing he's allowed to hold him in whatever way he might desire. "We can head back if you want to make sure we're back before curfew. But I don't mind hanging around a bit longer." He shrugs. He doesn't feel particularly fussed about keeping up the appearance that they're in their rooms. If they don't like them being outside, they'll have to just come get them. "It's kind of nice actually being able to see."

"...And cut short our grand crusade?!" Gundham apparently picks up on the bit of vitriol and runs with it, because he gives a dark laugh and raises their interlocked fingers, "On whose whim? None! None but our own! We will march on eternally!" Although, well...he would rather they be at least within sightline of the main building. Just in case it starts to get a bit too dark.

Kazuichi laughs with his enthusiasm. Who knew they'd be encouraging each other in the end. It's so invigorating to be doing something as simple as staying out too late. "Besides, if we just say we lost track of time and fell asleep in the library, it would probably be pretty in character." Practically everyone knows he’s done that a few times over at least. "Is there something you wanna do then?" He nudges him gently. "We can just walk around or go back inside...as long as you're sure I won't get bitten by any snakes."

Tramping off through the untrimmed grass, Gundham leads them in the general direction of the main station, mostly just enjoying the smell of greenery that's tossed up into the air. Yes, even the bugs are nice - little moths and flies that flit out of the grasses as he kicks at them. "Stroll without the watchful eye. Sift through the jungle and prostrate myself to the underlings," So basically exactly what Kazuichi had just suggested, but fancier - "No, the locals here that would be inclined to strike are aquatic or arboreal. Are you perhaps afraid of the stalks' blood? It would be the only danger."

Kazuichi shrugs. "Getting a little dirty never hurt anyone. As long as I don't get hurt by anything, I'll be good." He swings their arms as they walk, letting his eyes turn towards the sky. It's a bit cloudy, but not enough to completely obscure the sky. Not enough to completely block out the light from the moon. Rather perfect weather.

Chapter Text

"You know...we could totally just...not go back if you want." Kazuichi says as he’s pulled along, glancing up at the sky. "Not like people would really notice. Or could do anything about it." 

"...So you really have viewed the very depths of my soul..." Gundham mutters, though with a calm edge, already suddenly scouting for suitable places to lounge under the moon. Relatively flat, perhaps lightly covered, obscured from the breeze rushing in off of the beach...grass not too overgrown, good visibility... "Forget from where it is you know of this comfort of mine," he continues, tugging Kazuichi from place to place - mostly spots under slightly under-trimmed decorative trees. The ones closest to established buildings have neat little trunk-strangling stone circles around them, making them unsuitable, but further out, there's a patch on a slight downslope that has a little stringy sapling and its tiny peers in a neat, shallow s-curve that he breaks for.

Kazuichi's gaze trails back to him. He can't tell if whatever he said was meant to be a good thing or not, he looks far more focused on walking than any sort of conversation. "So you do wanna hang outside all night?" It would make sense. Gundham likes being out at night and Kazuichi is more than happy to indulge him. Even if they sit there all night and sleep all morning, he wouldn't mind one bit. It's good for him to get out once in a while after all. "Sounds like a plan then!" Though...he didn't think to bring his contact case with him so he should make sure not to fall asleep. "Almost like a date." He teases.

"Scintillating as a first date. The threat of evil serpents and hungry vampires shall haunt you the while," he quips back, running down the slope - it's a little hard to stop in any way but extremely abruptly when he finds the spot he wants to sit down at for now, so he ends up tugging on and bumping Kazuichi around a bit before he finally plops into the grass, shrugging his coat off to lay it flat on the ground below them. "Exactly as I wished,” he pats the spot beside him, “Exactly as I foresaw .”

And there's no room to argue because this all makes Kazuichi feel like he truly is still young. Even if his teenage years are behind him, he finds joy in having these moments that show how little they've truly been able to mature. "Oh yeah... according to you, this was all destiny. " And he likes that fact. Kazuichi loves to think he was always meant to have happiness. He feels special to think somehow, how they are is purely for him. "What else do you foresee then?"

"It was impossible for the two of us so tailored by the universe to revel in one another's presence would pass each other by." Gundham says, sounding much more confident now that it's apparently already come to pass - or, at least, enough that he's willing to boast about it. He does know that it's childish. But... But there's something nice, for now, about being unabashedly childish with Kazuichi at his side. He won't live in this mire forever. He's not sure he could sustain it. But he will entertain it for now, while his soul yearns for the release. He opens his left palm to Kazuichi, gesturing for him to take his hand back when he's sat and comfortable. "...We will...we will have our pitfalls. But I will grow malleable and you will grow strong."

"Well, yeah, everyone has that." Or at least that's what people say and that's what happens in fictional romances. Kazuichi sits beside him comfortably, leaning against his arm and squeezing his hand. "Unless you start going and giving me the cold shoulder, we should be alright." Because if they've made it this far and ended it with being together , then they should be able to manage fighting a bit better. "... it's kinda weird though, I guess I never thought of you as a romantic." It should make sense, sweet guys were usually romantics, right, but he hadn't really seen Gundham in that way at all for so long that he's still surprised to learn things like it. But it feels nice being able to learn it all through receiving the affection himself.

"...I wouldn't," Gundham starts, bending his knees to perch his chin onto them. He raises his brows, sceptically - apparently not offended, but still affected by the assumption. "Romantic by your metric of being aroused by violence?" He asks, genuinely. Sure, he says some things that are objectively nice sometimes. Just now was one of those instances. But overall, he doesn't feel like he lives up to the term.

Kazuichi elbows him playfully. "That's being horny, not romantic." He's not sure he can really describe it considering they haven't really done anything together. "No, I mean like...all that destiny talk and stuff comes off pretty romantic. Romantics are the kinds of people who believe in soulmates." Perhaps he just means that Gundham is unexpectedly affectionate, but he'd also just...never imagined Gundham would ever date anyone at all. "...though, now that you mention it, you are way hornier than I ever thought you were. You always seemed...I dunno, celibate?"

The moment of concern in Gundham's chest eases when they make contact again. He puffs out an amused breath but stays quiet to listen. It doesn't stop him from frowning thoughtfully, though, tilting his head. He has a lot of self-reflection to chew on, but it's interrupted. His far-off look refocuses on the man in front of him. Oh, that one's easy. "I am not interested in many, no. Humans are no more fit for my desire than my demon beasts are. It would be wrong."

Kazuichi laughs, moving to fully lay his head on Gundham's shoulder. "Yeah, I know, you told me." And it only serves to make him feel more special... he's more than happy to call himself a star forever if it earns him Gundham's favour. "I'm pretty lucky then, aren't I?" He hums, kneading the hand in his hold.

Gundham is quiet for a second and then nods. "Now that I have an outlet of interest I feel the pull. Sometimes. Occasionally it's the moment that bewitches me. As if your interest drives me." He'd had plenty of time to think about his sexuality when he essentially had his own face rubbed in it constantly, but he's not sure that it was a clear picture. "...Ultimately, you're as caught off guard as I. I admitted to you my... actions , because they were unusual."

Kazuichi looks up at him as best as he can, as if Gundham is the most interesting thing in the world. His willingness to be honest and explain how his brain works is nice. He's always wanted to have better insight into the people around him and being offered it for at least one person helps. He may not truly understand Gundham completely, but having some idea is good. "Well, I like doing this stuff too." He wraps his other arm around him. "I know I come off super needy, but I still know how to just enjoy being with you." Or at least he thinks he does. It's the same as being with a good friend, right?

It’s not what Gundham had expected to hear tonight, but interesting all the same. He can't help but feel a little sceptical, unsure if what Kazuichi's saying is true , but...does he really have any reason to disbelieve? Not anymore. That he feels very confident in telling himself. "I didn't doubt it," he says, giving a slight shake of his head, "You tend to know when you're being unreasonable. And when to cease, recently, which was the only negative affliction I was especially concerned with in your vast repertoire." Gundham relaxes into his side and pulls them to the ground, half facing each other, half facing the sky. "I have no idea how it is you've adapted so quickly."

"To this?" Kazuichi laughs a little, squeezing him for a second. 

Gundham hisses, a little embarrassed at the incredulity and the amusement, "Yes!" Obviously, their relationship! He squirms, not because he doesn't like it, but because he'd already started and wasn't about to give it up, let out a little bit of the weird, low tension that's building up inside. 

"I don't know...maybe I'm just excited." Kazuichi isn't really one to do something half-heartedly. If he's going to agree to date someone, he's going to be as loving as possible right out of the gate. It makes sense he'd be so okay with all of this. He accepted touching and kisses so easily, this is just that but more. He doesn't fully understand these sorts of relationships, and perhaps part of this being easy is just Kazuichi being desperate for affection, but if love is being offered to him, how could he ever take it slowly? Or perhaps he's been wanting this just as long as Gundham has. It would...explain some things. "I don't really think about that stuff. It's easier if I just do whatever feels right without focusing too much on it."

"I used to carefully analyse humans in my way." Gundham says it like that's an excuse as to why he's thinking so hard now. It's not, but it's the best explanation he has, beyond that he just...finds it too easy to slip into a mind that revolves around the two of them.

Kazuichi hums, his gaze trailing down. He's getting comfortable, he thinks. Today he's just letting the fact that they're together now sink in and allowing himself to embrace it. Because, in all honesty, this is the slowest he's ever been to love anything. "It's probably not going to stay this way." He admits. The second all his worries settle and he's fully on board with this new decision he's made for himself, he knows exactly what's going to happen. "Give it a week and I'll probably be completely back to how I usually am."

"You would dare oppose me once again knowing so intimately what Hell that could be wrought?" ‘Do you think we'll go back to arguing’ is what he means. It wouldn’t be awful. It's how Gundham had come to appreciate his fervour. It's how he had come to love him, so... "Whatever impressive form your passion takes I'll put forth my power to nurture. Just be sure it does that: impresses me." He keeps their close contact and leans into it, though being sure to hook their ankles rather than knees, push himself into Kazuichi's shoulders and chest rather than his groin, puts kisses carefully on the corner of his mouth and cheek and eye and forehead. "We'll see if my benevolence ebbs in response."

Kazuichi finds himself blushing, the breeze around them helping soothe the heat just a bit. Saying such things so close to him, holding him like this... "I-I didn't mean arguing." Though he doubts their banter will disappear entirely. "The more you keep being close and stuff...you know I'm going to end up obsessed over you." If this is in fact love, but...what else could he possibly call it? He already kind of wants to show off but also keep all of this to himself. He wants to squeeze Gundham until his body is sore and do absolutely everything he asks. He feels so happy but in a way he hasn't really felt before...and he's fairly certain he's only tame because Gundham's reciprocating.

There's a moment of silence between them before Gundham understands. The space between them is uncomfortably warm, isn't it? "...You already proposed we be on the same level," he reasons, mostly to himself although it is aloud, "and so the annoyances present before should be all but razed completely. Right? Like...like your self-disrespectful tone. And the..." He clears his throat, "Choice in your object of affection." He's told Kazuichi plenty of times before in various (admittedly very rude) ways that if he acts like a pig and a worm, that is how those around him will view him. He's not sure he's ever admitted to finding a twinge of jealousy in all of Kazuichi's fixation on their mutual friend, though.

"You wouldn't mind?" Kazuichi only looks up at his eyes for a moment as he wraps his arms around his shoulders. It's so nice knowing how wholeheartedly Gundham accepts him. "As long as you're okay with it. I don't wanna be too much." But he's already smiling at just the idea, already red. "Cause you're definitely my favourite person right now, and I wouldn't mind people knowing."

Ah, the awful reminder that he is filled with pumping, excitable blood, and that he has the facsimile of a heart beneath his sternum... He's a little worried that Kazuichi will once again be able to feel how his pulse spikes and his head fogs for a moment. Gundham takes it. He asks no questions. He hardly has the breath for it, anyway, and he sees no reason for Kazuichi to toy with him now, after everything. He looks down at the big grin below and moves until it's out of his sight, their noses touching, too close for him to still see, and from there he meets the eyes on him again. "If I wanted 'less' it would be an affront to fate and a show of weakness - a weakness I'm not unwilling to admit, but incapable of embodying at all." He's always wanted more. He's always hated the distance between him and every 'friend'. Plenty of times in his youth he'd found himself near to weeping over knowing that every young boy about his age for kilometers all around wanted to keep him at arm's length, so much that they'd duck out of his sight on the walk to school and avoid passing his home entirely on their route. He doesn't smile, but he is overcome with a happiness of sorts - albeit one that prickles his face and eyes as he mumbles quietly, staying aware of how close they are to each other, "Thank you."

... Kazuichi wants to eat him with how cute he's being. Gundham's so sweet and pretty and smart, and...he doesn't want to say perfect and idealise him too much, but how else could he possibly be described? How good it makes him feel to have someone love and desire him without needing to tone anything done. He squeezes him, kissing his nose (with a deep desire to kiss the rest of him, but he really shouldn't excite himself too much). "You don't gotta thank me. I said I wanted to be with you and I meant it." He squirms slightly, their position not allowing him to rock as he wants to but still needing to get out his excess emotions. "As long as you don't mind me being...obvious in front of people, I'm gonna let you have everything I'm feeling. You're so cool and pretty and interesting and I just-!" His squeeze becomes tighter. "I want to bite you all the time."

That finally prods a big smile out of Gundham, though he fights it the entire time, pursing his lips and scrunching his nose as he receives the affection. "Even my mind control isn't this strong. You must really mean it." Surely he couldn't evilly manipulate the poor man into this much positivity, could he? It eases his soul a little. He fights with every fiber he has not to giggle at Kazuichi's energy. It's infectious. They're like two tiny electrical parts, so close that they're sharing a charge. "I wonder if our ever-watching overlords would acquiesce to a request for chew toys amidst our provisions..." Until then, he'll just have to make do. What's a few more marks in the name of a universal right?

Kazuichi finds his legs wrapping around Gundham's, pulling him as close as possible until he can force the both of them to roll from side to side. "That's not the same! I want to be biting you cause it's you." And he does mean it, he means it so completely. Rarely does he say something without being sure of himself, but he's so certain of all of this. He knows what he wants and has no problem verbalising it. There's a part of him worried. A part of him concerned that things won't work out. But when he wants to wrap himself around this man and never let go, there's no reason to doubt his own feelings. "I want to hold you and listen to you and do everything with you. I don't want to ever stop sleeping with you, I'd probably miss you if I stopped now."

The crunch of the grass beneath the coat as they rock, among a few other things - including the motion itself, the koala-hold, and the surplus of enthusiasm - has Gundham snorting and absolutely buzzing with an energy he's not used to. Usually this need to release the pent up magical energy within him is a terrible, selfish need - a need to yell, cause pain (usually to himself, but fights have happened) - but this is different. It's just as strong and as such is a little concerning, but it's nice. It's not completely foreign, either, just...powerful. Despite how awkward the motion is, Gundham pulls a hand up over Kazuichi's arm that's wrapped around his neck and cups the back of the other's head, forcing them into each other's necks. He basks in it. The praise. The reassurance. All of the little odd aches and pains from the strange position and movements and the smell of sea and grass, the humidity sticking to his clothes. "I want to know you," he hums in admittance eventually, nuzzling down into the collar of his shirt.

Kazuichi shivers, loud and obvious, but the movement and his pure joy doesn't stutter. It's all just so comfortable. He feels so accepted. He only stops rocking when the intensity of the motion starts to tire him, settling on his back but insisting on keeping Gundham close. He wants to keep this feeling forever. Somehow he feels both calmed and spurred on knowing his feelings and desires are wanted and expected. "I'll tell you and show you everything you want." Kazuichi is fairly certain that, especially right now, all Gundham needs to do is say the word and he'd spill his guts for him to see.

Gundham kneads rhythmically what of Kazuichi he's got his fingers curled into like a cozy cat. He has no issue relaxing into a position laid partially over him if it means he has another opportunity to listen to his core and his voice at its very source. "Brave," he says, only very slightly teasing. "Lesser beings would find being known an unbearable curse." Another place where their power levels meet, how interesting. He's used it as an insult to Kazuichi before, but really, it applies to both of them, and it is no terrible affliction in his mind: they have no shame, do they? "Although I would give you a slower descent into madness than I experienced. ...If you wanted."

Kazuichi scoffs, letting himself settle and forcing himself to look up at the sky to convince himself not to even think about getting tired. "It'd be more agonising if it was slow. Plus, there are plenty of people who think I'm already crazy." He understands why, even before the tragedy, but it used to make him feel so insecure. Somehow, though, even if it's just one of Gundham's metaphors, he doesn't mind it nearly as much coming from him. "I like being an open book. Yeah, sometimes there are things I don't really want to admit, but it's easier for everyone if I'm easy to read." And it gets him hurt, but he wants to trust Gundham and believe he wouldn't do that. "It'll help if we understand each other, y'know."

"...Okay." Gundham agrees - he's wide awake and happy to stare at Kazuichi in profile, though he can see the way Kazuichi's starting to drift. "You shall be subjected to rapid fire, then. The ceremony can begin at your leisure. Tell me, then, what of my historical exploits could mirror your own? For example, you bore witness to the time I spent in the comfort of my pack."

Kazuichi hums. He wouldn't call his past interesting, so he's not even sure where to start. "I used to just spend a lot of time figuring out how to build stuff." Which was a lot of reading books and pulling random things apart until he became as good as he is now. "I got in trouble one time for turning a toaster into an engine...it's actually really easy to cobble something together once you know what you're doing. But I mean, if you've got any questions..."

Gundham tries to visualize what it is one would find inside a conventional toaster to start. He's quiet for a long moment as he takes toaster-inventory. He's never taken one apart, but he's used one, and curiously peeked inside of it - it's one of few machines that has great, purposeful gashes in its design, so large as to show some of its inner workings, "...How? I'm sure it's almost entirely mechanical...even the timer, heater, and switch are all mechanical, except the electricity to heat it, am I wrong? Is there any place to create and contain combustion? Did you fashion one?" He knows he just asked about Kazuichi's past and all, but this all is genuinely holding his interest much better than he thought it would.

Kazuichi laughs. "Yeah, obviously. Which was part of why I got in trouble, because it's only a few steps away from a bomb." Even so, he remembers it rather fondly. He enjoys creating things from random parts you wouldn't normally consider usable. Piecing what he wants together is a great mental exercise. "It looked like an engine and had parts that functioned in a similar way, but it was more like a motor if I'm honest. Could've powered something in theory, but...we'll never know, and I'm way better at what I do now anyway."

"Hmmm..." Gundham hums in what he hopes comes across as understanding, when really, he's analysing every word and pulling as much information as he can possibly extract out of it. "It makes sense, then. Your accolades were based just as much on your ingenuity as your raw skill. Something you have always possessed? Or that you had to hone?"

"Uh...as much as any skill I guess. I've been doing it so long that I don't really remember when I was bad at it, though." Kazuichi doubts he's naturally good at anything, but it's hard to deny he clearly does have a knack for all the mechanic stuff compared to other people. "I guess science and math just always sort of clicked for me. And there's so much rule and structure that if you learn the process it's just a matter of repeating it. I've always thought it was interesting, so while I wasn't always as great as I am now, there's never really been a time where I was struggling too much."

Another short noise, this time of acknowledgment. "A path less noble than one of strife," he admits with a shrug, "But one I have also trod. I've liked the idea of becoming rather than being , but what metamorphosis is possible for a being of my type...? And my aura is already palpably wicked. To expand the ruinous range of its radius yet further with the smell of failure clung to its back, as well..." he hisses, "no. I shall not cause the implosion of this entire world. Not yet. That's what I always thought. Besides, there is nary a thing I can not do passably."

Kazuichi grins to himself, running fingers through Gundham's hair. " Passably, yeah. C grade to my A." He gets Gundham’s elbow planted right into his ribs. There isn't quite enough room for a windup, so it's not too forceful, but he puts all he can into it anyway. That was the only thing Kazuichi consistently had over him. He was never the top in the class, but he was always rather proud of how studious he was. Not because he studied, things just seemed to...work out for him. Gundham had the things he was good at, of course, but wasn't incredible in anything that didn't interest him. "I mean...it's not bad to find things easy. It's more of a story if you struggle, though, I guess."

"...To face fear with caution in the pursuit of knowledge is honourable. I don't see how this fear is any different." This fear of failing miserably...it's why Gundham never bothered socializing, even when he was offered, on an off chance. He'd likely just cause a great rift, anyway, right? To turn his nose up felt like saving face. He's only now beginning to wonder if this was a strategy that dishonoured him more . No, probably not. Loners are cool. "Anyway, I'm not disparaging you this time. I'm just saying."

Kazuichi laughs, pushing himself up slightly so he can look down at Gundham properly. "I get what you're saying, but there's also nothing wrong with being good at things. Some people just learn faster." It's not his fault things just feel easy sometimes. He completely understands not wanting to fail, but they also both have little need to pursue anything other than what they're already good at. "Like...I wasn't amazing in school, but I also didn't ever need extra support. And with building and fixing, that stuff just clicked . I mean...yeah, high school for us was a bit different ‘cause we barely did class at all, but as long as you're able to take care of yourself, does it matter?"

Gundham stays flat on the ground, nuzzling into his scarf and his own shoulder to peer up at him, cozy from his spot. "No. It didn't feel that way. It felt as if the opposite were true, actually, for a while. I think now only of the Parade, I suppose." He shrugs, "Though I cannot say that's an event I'd like to linger on. You must have been exceptional before then, too. You always lived closer to the city, yes? A large court, then, laid before your eyes?"

"I guess so. Theoretically, it's not like I really put myself out there to the masses." Unlike Gundham, who had his fans before entering high school, Kazuichi only gained that kind of attention after he was scouted. "My interests were always more for myself, though. After a certain age, most kids don't think tearing every machine apart is super interesting anymore." There are outliers, as there always are, but there weren't really those sorts of people around him until his brief time at Toushima. And even then, he still found himself being seen as weird.

"Mmm. A wide net cast does not always guarantee a catch, anyway." Gundham reaches out to pick at the nearest article of clothing with something to tug on and settles on a belt loop. Or carabiner loop? Something of the sort, at about belt-level. "That's interesting, considering you and I have similarly… widely appealing talents. It can be done far from human eyes, but in the end, the money comes from performing it for others and to their specification." For better or worse. Worse, mostly, but...well. He's sold plenty of pets that he's sure were much happier with their new families than they would have been in his presence for the last few years.

"Most people aren't exactly thrilled at the idea of letting some random unqualified kid look at their car. Besides, I was always more interested in figuring out the limits as opposed to making a living fixing things up." Kazuichi's dreams have always been rather big, it's no wonder he has his eyes set on space travel as opposed to humble repairs. "See, I got accepted into an engineering school before I got picked up by Hope's Peak. Even around all those techy kids, I was still considered well above normal level, so I probably could have been successful in my field even if I decided to stay there." He lays himself back down as his arm starts to get sore, but keeps his gaze on Gundham. "I left because I was hoping to get into the field while skipping most of the school steps."

"Sounds as though you were pigeonholed." Of course, Gundham’s always known that they were, Kazuichi in particular. But assembling the pieces on his own rather than hearing tidbits of gossip against his will is a very different feeling. He hadn't thought much of the accusations in school, but now it feels a little more real.

'Souda's good with cars - he has to be, for a poor kid, right?'

To be fair, though, Gundham had always assumed that these were things said about nearly everyone, and rightly. Being scouted surely meant that money was not an object, right? Even he didn't come from much. His mother was only able to afford their home because of its location and condition. He'd hear often the same of Teruteru, though in different circumstances, and of some of their now-deceased upperclassmen, too. He mulls it over, obviously, prepares and keeps strong his serious thinking face. He very carefully and analytically approves each track-change his train of thought makes, but somehow, he still ends up crawling closer and closer to things he doesn't want to think about. About recompense. About worth. He doesn't find any words, so he continues to try, silently, averting his eyes to the ground to focus there instead, one finger still through one of the loops on Kazuichi's clothes.

Kazuichi tilts his head at him. "You think so?" He'd never really considered that. From his point of view, everything was his own choice and he never felt awfully forced into anything that wasn't social. Though, it is hard to view one’s self and one’s experiences objectively. "I just picked up something when I was young and carried it with me to this day. Is that really being pigeonholed? " To be fair, he's also not entirely sure he'd be able to describe what is so he remains oblivious regardless. "I mean...would you consider it a bad thing?"

"...It should not have been said. My allegiances lie in no particular camp amongst ‘the Peaks’ beyond that of our continued hope and survival." Gundham says, eventually, using both hands now to tuck his face into his scarf, "My critique is not the point of this conversation."

Kazuichi moves both hands up to ruffle Gundham's hair from both sides, more than happy to move on. "If you say so." He gives him a smile, eventually resting in a hug. "But, yeah, unless you want a play-by-play of my every day...I'm not sure what else you'd really want to hear about."

The mildly perturbed look in Gundham's face smooths out and he closes his eyes. Finding a balance between being truthful with the way Hope's Peak truly operated and not falling into total despair - he's not sure how Hajime handles it. He leans his head into one of the hands before it leaves, like a cat leaning up into an ear-scratch. If he could purr... "Is that not what you witnessed in me? Or, very nearly?"

"Kind of. It was mostly events considered significant, and it was rarely a full day..." But it's a similar idea and clearly Gundham's trying to get some equivalent exchange between them. Kazuichi hums, his thumb rubbing the top of Gundham's spine. "Talking about myself is kinda hard." Because what he'd consider boring might actually be information he wants to know, and he's not sure how to really distinguish. "My folks were pretty normal, and nothing outstanding really happened for most of my life. ...I'd let you watch it if I knew how to transfer that data."

Well, he can't purr, but he can give a low appreciative hum at the affection. Truthfully? Gundham has no idea how to help with this, assessing the worth of Kazuichi’s experiences. He just shrugs, "Talking about me is easy," He says, eyes still closed comfortably, putting both of his own hands now, gently, into the middle of Kazuichi's chest. He really does feel like a well-loved cat... "Surely it was interesting at least in the sense that you were in the midst of humans and unknowing, even, of your true power."

"If by that you mean weirdly isolating..." Now that he's really having to think about it, his childhood wasn't horrible (and comparably boring to some), but he also wouldn't say it was the greatest time in his life. "I guess...I used to stay up late reading about vehicles I was interested in and then get in trouble when I slept in the next morning. I had basically only one guy I'd call my friend for a while but when he fucked off, I don't think the people that replaced him were really my friends…in retrospect."

Gundham shrugs a little. Just a natural consequence of being a god among men. He smiles slowly, though, and opens his eyes with a sharp laugh, "Aha! See! I did this as well! My tablets of choice were more on the topics of flesh and bone, however." 

Kazuichi laughs at his enthusiasm. "I'm not surprised, you're a night owl even now." That is why they're here now (though, frankly, he wouldn't mind if Gundham fell asleep on him). 

"Tch. Nocturnal, yes, though I can switch in a single day's length if the need arises!" Gundham’s not sure why he argues, but he does, and he appreciates the movement under his hands as Kazuichi's chest moves with his laughter. The smirk on his face quirks back down again and he goes back, for just a second, into analysis-mode. He asks no follow-up questions on the more serious side of things, but he does raise where his brows would be. Perhaps not something he wants to encourage, but he is curious…

Kazuichi takes the obvious curiosity as an ask for more information. "Well, there was this guy who I hung out with a lot as a kid. Not really outside school or anything, though. Anyway, he was doing terribly in a class, so I let him cheat off me. Never spoke to me again after we got caught even though he didn't get in trouble for it." He huffs, but still looks back at Gundham with a smile. "That's why I am the way I am now."

"...Ah. So my offerings to take the fall in your stead should we be ‘ busted’ held very little weight." Gundham muses, solemnly, his look holding no levity.

"No, actually...it made me feel better. Cause I'd made it all out to seem like it was my fault and he had nothing to do with it...so if it had come to that, I would've had the chance to do what he should've done." His thumb gently scratches with his nail for a few seconds as his other hand squeezes. "I'm not sure they would've believed you, but it would've been really nice of you."

"I offered. I don't place on the bartering table what I'm not willing to leave," Gundham says, forcing himself not to 'purr' again. "It is always much easier to condemn the dark over the light. I'm sure it would have worked out. Or will." Any which way it happens to go.

"I guess so...but I'd feel bad if you got in trouble and not me." Given that it was mostly all Kazuichi's doing. Gundham egged him on, but it was his own idea in the first place and he was the one actually doing the things that would be seen as questionable. "I don't want you getting punished for stuff I did. That doesn't seem fair."

"Objectively true," he agrees with a nod. "If that's what you desire, you know well I have no problem instead turning to serve terrible reality." A shiver runs up his spine as a breeze rolls over them - he jams his forehead into Kazuichi's chest, right between his palms, trying to steal more of his warmth.

Kazuichi finds himself smiling, humming as Gundham leans into him. He squeezes him with his legs, rubbing his back. "Do you need your coat back?" He asks as he leans forward to kiss his head. He's cute and he loves this position but he doesn't exactly need the layer between him and the grass.

"I need nothing," Gundham says petulantly, finding any tiny space he can push himself into, and then makes another series of muffled noises that are almost speech-like against his chest.

"Yeah? Is that why you're being adorable right now?" He makes an amused sound as he scratches the bottom of Gundham's hair.

He shivers again, this time hard enough that it can be felt. He's talking again, and quite loudly, but it's hard to make out what exactly he's saying. "-m'ments before your grisly demise, you-..."

Kazuichi can only laugh, rolling the both of them to the side so he can cover Gundham with more of his body. "Threats just make you cuter if I can't hear them~" He teases as he nuzzles into his hair.

Ahh, warmth. Exactly according to plan - Gundham pulls his arms around Kazuichi's neck and holds him close with a hum, wriggling himself up until he's able to speak somewhere there's a little more room for him, "You’re making yourself an especially easy target in this moment. You realize this, don't you? If I wanted to gut you you would be completely helpless to my whim," he grumbles.

"Hm...yeah, you'd do that just with your hands?" The picture it creates is gory, but Kazuichi is in a good mood so he doesn't particularly care. "Who knows, maybe I'd let you."

"Claws," Gundham corrects, playfully, "one of which has been hexed in order to be adept at tearing flesh from bone." He accents it with an evil chuckle, and then goes quiet and huffs , an audible eye roll. "You would like that, wouldn't you?"

Kazuichi giggles, squirming slightly. "Yeah, I would, so don't tease me." He presses their foreheads together. "Mmmh...besides...bet you'd miss me too much to do any serious damage, right~?"

Oh, come on... Gundham can resist kissing him, but it takes great effort. "Should I snuff out your soul's light it would simply be an essence I keep with me, like a bird in a cage! ...But I wouldn't. Unless you were especially bothersome."

"You'd really take away the light from your star?" He pouts at him. He can't help it, he finds that he’s gotten so very attached very quickly to the nickname that any way to hear it again sounds wonderful.

Gundham's voice lowers. "I would envelop your light in my darkness with nothing but the utmost adoration, so it could be all mine."

He can feel how Kazuichi's face heats up rather quickly, breaking eye contact as he squeezes him. That's what he means when he calls Gundham romantic. "...please do." That sounds wonderful. He'd love to be completely adored like that.

Gundham waits for the eyes to return before he gives a tiny, pursed smile. "So that's how it is," and he nods, slowly, tilting his chin forward until their faces begin to line up.

"H-How what is?" Gundham sounds so nice, holding him close like this is better than anything else. Kazuichi doesn't even wait for him with how he leans in to kiss him - passionate but not heated. A kiss that's taken happily, slowly, with almost a lazy, sloppy edge - he just sort of goes with wherever his lips happen to fall, even if it's slightly off-centre. "There's nothing wrong with wanting all of your attention." Kazuichi mutters against him as they part.

"It's like this: you provoke the beast in me on purpose in hopes you will be punished for it. Instead, tonight, I'd like only to reward you. Okay?" He pecks him once more and reassures with a little shake of his head, "...No, nothing wrong at all." If it were up to him, they would lie here and kiss until the sun returned. Just this once, he'd neglect his responsibilities and be under the great dome of the sky that acts as a mirror…

There's a hint of embarrassment in his face because he knows Gundham is right, but all the same he wants to accept any reward he might bestow upon him. Gentle, he reminds himself as he leans in for another kiss. Kazuichi knows too well how easily excited he can get so he forces himself to remain slow and accepting to respect Gundham's desire for keeping clothes on today. He squeezes his shoulders gently. Even this, he'd happily do forever. "Is this my reward then?" He asks. "Having you this close with all the kisses I could ever want?"

The fact that even with Gundham between his legs and at his chest Kazuichi is soft and sweet at his behest is relieving. "Yours and mine at once. More?" ...He does have things to do, though. But they can wait one more minute. Just one more minute.

"Always." What's so wonderful is how he's never had this with anyone else. Being so gentle and so loving is something he's long desired in some parts of his brain, but only now does he have it. Even before, every moment they shared was rough or heated, delicateness sprinkled in but promptly destroyed soon after. This slowness, so careful and loving, makes his every nerve tingle in a new way. "You're such a softie when you want to be." He mutters against Gundham, arms and legs securely wrapped around him to keep him from moving too far away.

"Don't say that where anyone could hear or I'll remove your tongue. Should be easy to grab and pull it out." He's not sure if he needs to keep up his stringent, stoic image anymore, but for his own comfort and safety for now, the walls will remain. He'll at the very least keep his exposure of his underbelly to those he trusts not to slice him open, and do it on his own terms only . (Or, like Kazuichi has so wisely unintentionally suggested, reserve that privilege for one he wouldn't mind as much to be nosing around in his innards.) Speaking of, he sets his lips into a pursed line against Kazuichi's skin, "...This would become one of several nights in a row I've neglected the resocialization of my soldiers," he admits, quietly, gruffly.

Kazuichi laughs again, quietly. This is comfortable. The breeze is cold but he finds that he doesn't overly care. "...Am I keeping you away from your hammies?" He can't help it, he's in such a good mood that he can't stop his gentle teasing. Honestly, it's a little flattering to know he's taken priority in some way. "I'm sorry, you can hang out with them tonight if you need to."

Gundham doesn't mind the cold either, anymore - not when he's nice and warm, half under Kazuichi. " Yes ," he says, trying to sound frustrated by swallowing down a chuckle, "You say it so nonchalantly, but these are highly trained assassins that need to be reformed, just like myself. You have shed the blood to show for it, yes?"

"Ah yes, highly trained assassins that throw a tantrum if I stop them from playing." He knows very well what they were trained to do the second they were old enough to understand commands, but his hamsters are, and always will be, Gundham’s least deadly beasts. They barely eat meat and hardly do any damage even when they do bite. No wonder Gundham aligns himself with them so much... "I can always head back to bed while you stay up with them if you feel like they need the attention. I know they're important to you."

"...They have less than one thousand days from their birth. I shouldn't waste them. I'd like their remaining ones to be comfortable, and...so they're my top priority. Always." The slight bristle in him relaxes down. He draws a palm over the back of Kazuichi's neck, under his hair. "But we can stay a little longer...and return at any time. Yes?"

"Yeah. We can do whatever seems best." Kazuichi hums, leaning into his hand. The hamsters need their attention, he understands that. They only have so much time together and Gundham is unlikely to have more after these ones any time soon. He can sacrifice a few hours of his own time, if that's what he wants. "If you want to stay here, we can stay here. But if you want to go back, I can always just watch you from the bed, it's not a big deal."

Gundham kisses him again, soft, slowly, and with a long sigh. "A moment more," he insists, a mumble against the lips, holding him increasingly more tightly until he's shaking a little with the effort of maintaining it. He keeps him there until he can't keep it up any more and finally relaxes, stays silent a little while, occasionally satisfying any odd desire to use his mouth by giving a terrible rain of fire on Kazuichi (a couple of slow kisses). In a way, it's absolutely perfect. Kazuichi has never felt so satisfied, and if this is the only love he'd ever receive again, he thinks perhaps he can live with that. Eventually, though, he does bring moving back up in a deep and tired croak, "You'd be able to find the deathless void even with the raucous sound of my method of taming and the rays of light needed to guide my path?"

Kazuichi hums reassuringly as he traces Gundham's spine. "I can usually sleep anywhere as long as I'm tired enough." He shrugs slightly. "Don't worry about it. If I can't, it's just an excuse for us to sleep together all day tomorrow." How gorgeous he is when he's being so gentle. He finds that, perhaps, there is really no need to question or doubt his feelings.

Gundham nods sharply and uses what weight he has on Kazuichi to turn them back over so he's on top instead and then sits up. He can feel that his hair is at that length that it's just a little too long to sit the way he likes it to, especially after rolling around on the ground with someone putting their hands in it. He runs his fingers back through it to try to smooth it down. "Your mind births more devious sins than I could have ever thought imaginable." But it sounds good. Almost makes him want to keep Kazuichi up on purpose...and maybe he would, some other night. "Up, heathen."

He puffs up his cheeks, frowning at him. "What's sinful about wanting to sleep with you? You need to get eight hours of sleep, and if that means sleeping all day, then we'll sleep all day." He huffs as he pulls himself, shooing Gundham away so he can stand up and shake any stray grass off of the jacket. "The one time I'm trying to be cute, you call me a heathen."

Gundham bails off the side of the coat into the grass and lets himself sit there with his hands in the blades for a second before he stands up, too, giving a tightly-knit, scrunched-up sort of expression. "...Do I exude the aura of someone who scorns those in workings with Evil?"

"I dunno, do you?" He turns the coat over in his hands and wraps it around Gundham's shoulders before taking hold of his hand. "Sometimes you're a bit unclear on what's good and what's bad."

It sits well on his shoulders alone - they're broad enough and the coat heavy enough that he's in no danger of losing it even if he doesn't put his arms into the sleeves, so he allows the taking of his hand, even encourages it, using both of his own to envelop Kazuichi's. "We're talking about me again."

"Yeah...?" Kazuichi gives him a weird look. Knowing that doesn't clarify anything. "You've usually got a serious tone, I can't always tell when you're just teasing."

"I was giving you an opportunity to retreat." But he wasn't lying earlier, it usually is pretty easy to talk about himself as long as he's absolutely sure that the other party is willing. (Or if he just gets carried away by accident, which happens much more often.) "Evil is what is detestable and Good is what is palatable. But what makes people uncomfortable is not always the most harm that can be caused, and what keeps them calm is not always the right choice. So when you describe to me an evil deed you'd like to commit, it means nothing more than that someone might object. Not that it will hurt anyone. Least of all, me. Often I find myself aligning more with evils for a higher purpose."

Kazuichi nods, pulling Gundham a little closer so they're in a proper position to walk together. "I guess that makes sense." He squeezes his hand. "Come on then, we gotta get back to your soldiers so I can sleep cold and alone ."

"I don't think it's possible for you to be cold."

"Fine then, boiling and alone, without my Overlord of Ice to cool me." He playfully whines as they make their way back up the hill.

Gundham gives him an elbow, knowing well that the worst thing that could happen is Kazuichi falling slightly forward into the soft grass.

Chapter Text

They sneak back into the building, navigating the dark by memory, touch, and the occasional red light on a security camera providing the location of at least one wall. They count their way down the corridor to Gundham's room and with a soft not-quite click, it falls open. Dark inside, but there's a loud shuffle and clunk as at least one - or maybe more - of the hamsters is either startled or excited by the door opening and sends bedding all over the place. Gundham chuckles and feels for the light as he tugs Kazuichi into the room. He gets a final kiss on the cheek before the other is walking off to get changed for bed while he deals with his little companions. 

Turns out the culprit wasn't Shiryo like he'd expected, but Mononoke, who comes to him immediately when he opens the door and does a bit of a soaring-leap that he has to quietly discourage. She squirms into his scarf but doesn't stay put long, going instead to crawl up the back of his neck and perch on the top of his head, burrowing into his hair. The other three get their love all in turns before finding their respective places comfortably in his clothes, teeny-tiny space heaters putting their soft little bellies against his skin.

"Do you happen to have a spare contact case?" Kazuichi asks as he stretches out his arms.

"Oddly enough, yes, they've been supplying me. It's currently being used," he says, blinking for effect - both of his eyes are black, currently - but shrugs a shoulder. "I think I have a replacement under the sink. Go ahead. Leave that light on."

"Yeah yeah, I know." He waves a hand as he walks into the bathroom. He kneels down to open the sink cupboard, finding an empty contact container and his bottle of solution. Kazuichi also decides to snag a spare toothbrush - surely Gundham won't mind as long as he's clean.

He pauses in front of the mirror, staring at himself for a moment. The eyes feel normal, make him feel a bit more secure, but his hair is a mess. It seems like every day it inches closer to inevitably being completely dark again. The colour isn't as vibrant as it used to be and while it's not a horrible shade of washed out yet, he would still prefer to dye it around about now if I had the means to. Seeing all that natural hair doesn't bring up the same feelings it used to. He used to feel a little disgusted by it, even scared of other people seeing it. Now, he's not sure. There's a lingering sense of whoever the man is with dark hair isn't really him, but knowing there's not much he can really do about it oddly makes him more willing to let it grow out as it is. He does, though, briefly wonder if Gundham will find him half as attractive when he has to be all natural again.

With blurry vision again, he pulls himself into bed, laying on the side closest to the cage so he can watch Gundham easier. It's comfortable and Kazuichi likes that it smells like the both of them. "...think you're going to be awake all night?"

Gundham shrugs again. "Until I can battle no more," he says, moving one arm in a serpentine sort of fashion, slowly, until he seems satisfied, and produces a big, fat, very happy hamster in his palm. He holds her up to the bed and Yurei sniffs, sniffs, sniffs, and then puts her little hands on the edge of the mattress and pulls her bodyweight up onto it clumsily, snuffling around to find her way to the smelly warm thing that she senses in the near distance. "If you squash her I will kill you...she's very smart. She would not hurt anything or anyone unless her life was in danger."

"I know. If I wake up dead tomorrow, I'll know what happened and repent." Kazuichi takes a deep breath, smiling to himself as Yurei brushes over his bare skin. He's not afraid to say that she might be his favourite. He can't sleep quite yet with her sniffling around him, but with the darkness and his poor vision, he decides to rest his eyes. He'd like to watch Gundham, but there's hardly any point if he can barely see him. "...but I hope instead I get to wake up in your arms."

She finds his face and sniffs his nose, curious about his breath, flinching a little each time he breathes out but coming back for more each time until she decides he's safe enough to touch with her hands. She puts her tiny palms on his cheek and leans up to sniff at his eyes, too, her little whiskers tickling as she wiggles her nose. Gundham's voice still comes from the same direction and distance. He hums and mumbles to a hamster, and then, louder, "Cute. Mushy-cute."

"You are." Kazuichi says loud enough to make it clear he's talking to Gundham as he reaches up to pat her. "Super cute."

She seems to like this, because she lifts herself up and sits comfortably on his cheek, snuffling into his ear for a second before she beds down in his sideburn. "...I love you," comes Gundham's voice again, quiet enough it could be directed at a hamster, but phrased in such a way that his target is definitely clear.

His fingers twitch. Kazuichi’s not sure yet if he'll ever get used to hearing it. And he wants to, it feels so nice to hear Gundham say such things about him. He wants to say it back and to love him just as much. But he doesn't. The words die in his mouth and he just lays there to make himself fall asleep faster. Selfishly accepts the affection and lets it ring throughout his head until he's truly unconscious. ...he thinks that if Gundham said it enough times, he'd cry. And that would let him hear his beautiful comfort and he'd want to love him so much more.

With Kazuichi quiet, he assumes he's asleep or well on his way.

And so he starts handling the little beasts. Mononoke and Reikon are pretty good at being played with and good at following directions, but Shiryo still has some problems. Even Gundham can't handle him without getting bit sometimes. He seems to be in a fair mood tonight, though, because even when Gundham goes through all of the movements - picking him up, turning him over, stroking his head and his chin and his belly and his back, turning him over again, moving him between his hands, asking him to climb up and down - he doesn't end up bleeding so much that he needs to do anything but suck on a couple scratches on his fingers until they stop weeping. Only once the beasts start to get easily distracted does he finally lie down on the floor with them and try to get them to sleep near him. They agree just fine, but Gundham can't fall asleep knowing that they could crawl away and be within a roll-over of Kazuichi, who could easily crush them. Not on purpose, obviously, but...

He sits up and gathers each hamster, who are all beginning to settle down - a sign that despite the fact that he's still only about half tired, it'd probably about four in the morning - including the one still tangled in Kazuichi's hair. He extracts Yurei carefully, sets her in her hut and covers her in bedding to join all of the others. Closes the cage up tightly and listens for them to relax and stop shuffling while he carefully undresses, turns the light off, and feels his way around the bed.

Kazuichi has situated himself the opposite way around, lying on the flat mattress where normally their feet would be, and is also atop the blanket, so he nudges him a little. "Morning star. Sit up a moment." He doesn't expect it to work, and gets to work arranging what of the bedding he has access to so he can cover them both and snuggle down beside him. Kazuichi makes small, disturbed noises, not exactly cooperating but not making it any harder for Gundham to do what he needs. Even in his half-sleep state he lets out a satisfied sigh as he feels arms around him, leaning into him until he's comfortable again.

It's quiet and comfortable as they lay there together. Unmoving but soothed by each other's company. Gundham holds him happily. He smells a little bit like hamster pee, or maybe that's himself. He can't tell. Either way, he's delighted with it, comfortable to rub a hand over Kazuichi's upper arm and curl in until everything feels warm enough that he can start to doze.

***

Kazuichi ends up waking up a while before the lights would turn on. Feeling Gundham close to him has him leaning in, tempted to lay with him forever. And he might just. He doesn't remember his dream - he hasn't been able to for a few days - but there's the distinct feeling inside him that whatever it was wasn't good. He feels a little hollow despite the closeness and...perhaps he's just tired but it has him worried. He takes a deep breath. He should just ignore it and embrace how happy this all makes him feel, but he can hardly form any thoughts at all. Not even one explaining why he doesn't feel rested.  Kazuichi pulls himself up just slightly, pressing into Gundham's neck. He's just tired. Perhaps if he sleeps just as long as he does, if they lay here together long passed breakfast again, he'll forget about it. Because if it is his dreams making themselves known again...he'd rather prevent them as much as he can.

Almost entirely asleep, Gundham forces out a mmh of acknowledgment, even his voice not wanting to respond to his demands and doing it delayed, sluggish. Something about getting any response at all soothes part of his brain. He's being felt and he'd be missed if he got up...it makes the hollow worry over nothing dissipate just a little. Kazuichi gives him a hum of his own, pressing against him to resist the urge to kiss. "...'m not going anywhere." He mumbles as if he'd benefit from the reassurance. "We can still sleep."

A dull pain ripples through Gundham's chest, a bloom and flutter of intense, all-consuming affection. It feels like it should wake him up more, but it doesn't, only lulls him further. "Hm," Eyes still closed and his breath still steady and even, just like if he were completely asleep, Gundham gives another short noise. His fingers twitch, but beyond that, he's out cold now that he's been spoken to. He may not have been able to tell what it was that was said to him, but he's heard Kazuichi's voice, and that's enough, more than enough, for him to release the last hold he has on consciousness.

Kazuichi watches him in the dark for a while, listening to the sounds of his breath as one hand idly scratches his hair. He's not sure if he can go back to sleep or if he should, he's not even sure what woke him in the first place. But the longer he sits there the more comforted he feels so perhaps it doesn't matter. He doesn't need to know anything or be able to form any thoughts. Eventually, the lights turn on. He's not sure if he went back to sleep or not but he doesn't care enough, just pulling the blanket up over them and kissing Gundham's jaw to let him sleep as long as he needs. He can stay here until they're both ready to get up.

It’s only another fifteen or so minutes later that Gundham blinks awake though, taking a deep breath and stretching an arm up over his head, tenting the blanket around them with his elbow. He blinks until his vision is mostly-clear and rubs his eyes. He's gotten...maybe two or three hours of sleep? But it feels like a very solid, dense nap for now. He's not terribly sleepy, beyond the drowsiness of dragging himself back awake. He doesn't say anything, just stares at Kazuichi, still blinking slowly and occasionally averting his gaze briefly to look around at their position and get a feel for their environment, like he'd forgotten where it was they were up until now.

There's a long moment of quiet, Kazuichi able to see a bit more of Gundham now that the room around them is bright. The blankets aren't fancy so the light easily penetrates through but it's better than having it directly in his eyes. "...morning." he mumbles as he snuggles into his chest. The warmth and the contact make it much easier to convince himself to stay there instead of getting up. "When'd you go to bed?"

Gundham looks blearily down, no words coming to him. His sleepy head is totally blank. He puts a hand on Kazuichi's back and continues to stay quiet for a second before he sniffs, the cogs finally turning, "...Four?" A generous number. Probably closer to five. He doesn't append his testimony. He clears his throat and feels a wave of static run through his body again as it begs him to sleep more. Unflinchingly he keeps his eyes open, staring at nothing in particular. "I'm tired," he mutters, unhelpfully.

Kazuichi hums, tangling their legs together. Of course he didn't go to bed before three. "Then you should sleep more." Not that he himself is particularly tired anymore, but he's sure he could convince himself to fall back asleep if they laid there long enough. "I told you you need eight hours of sleep," he reaches up to gently scratch the top of his spine.

"Mm." Sure, he has no problems with that, in concept. In execution...hmm. He really, really, really chews on it. Lets that sink in. Thinks super hard...and is so very quickly asleep again.

"...man, you're such a cat." Kazuichi laughs gently to himself, glancing up at Gundham. They'll probably end up missing another breakfast, but as long as he's got enough sleep there's no reason to care. He is a bit worried he won't be able to get up at all without bothering him. He'll give it a while to let Gundham fall into a deeper rest, and if he doesn't fall asleep again, he'll try and shimmy his way out for a shower or something. 

Gundham dozes for a while longer, listening to the electricity hum and the air flow, the occasional shuffle of Kazuichi in the room. Eight hours is asking a little much, but he does get in another good nap before he finally wakes up on his own - very literally only because he has to pee and his stomach is grumbling. He sits up and tosses the blanket off of himself, sitting all the way up with a sniffle, rubbing his face. Okay. Back in the real world. Back in the real world… "Kazuichi?"

"Yeah?" He can hear Kazuichi call out from the bathroom, stepping out a few seconds with a towel around his shoulders and his contacts in. He gives him a smile as he walks over to sit with him on the bed. "Hi. Feeling a little less tired now?" He kicks his feet slightly as he dries off his hair. "Or were you just worried I'd left?"

Gundham looks down at where Kazuichi sits and puts a hand out to pat his side to check if he's getting the bed wet. "Both?" He mumbles, and then recoils a little at the water splatter from the drying hair with a jolt.

"Awh~!" Kazuichi grins at him as he leans closer. "I'm sorry, should I have waited for you to be awake before showering?"

Gundham closes the gap a little, kisses the closest place he can reach, that being a damp shoulder. "No. You're annoying to shower with," he says, and though he means it as a tease, it doesn't sound that way. He pulls in a deep breath and then lets it out, "Except for all the...all the not-annoying things." He's still working on coming back. He yawns into the shoulder. "Mmh. 'Scuse me," And sits up, dragging himself off the edge of the bed with a stumble.

Kazuichi pouts at him, sticking out his tongue. "Well then I guess I'm not gonna shower with you again and I won't ever wait for you to be up before starting my day." He crossed his arms over in fake annoyance, pulling his legs up onto the bed as well. "Three minute showers all alone at six forever."

Standing in the middle of the room Gundham snarls back at him, lifting his upper lip, but not quite slick enough to come up with a comeback yet. "Don't do that, you'll keep stinking," he mumbles, dragging himself into the bathroom - the door sits most of the way open while he relieves himself and then washes his face, organizes his hair a little bit in the mirror, peering through the reflection of Kazuichi in it.

"No I won't! I'm perfectly clean even with a short shower!" Plus, he can't even work on bigger projects so he's sweating a lot less and isn't coming into contact with oil. If anything, he's never been cleaner than he is right now! He does eventually pull himself up, walking over to wrap his arms around Gundham's waist and staring at him in the mirror. "You don't want the bed to smell like me?"

Gundham doesn't give him the satisfaction of a retort. Definitely not on account of the fact he has a toothbrush in his mouth. Definitely because he's trying to be annoying. He gives a grunt when Kazuichi holds him, leaning his hips back against the hug slightly so he has enough room not to get spit on his bare legs. If anywhere, it's going to get on the bathmat, which he can handle. "Mmmhm...I have my own scent that I prefer," he says through a mouthful.

Kazuichi frowns, squeezing him hard enough to cause momentary discomfort. "Fine. No more sleeping in your bed then if you don't like it that much." He gets that it's teasing, he really does, but it still upsets him the tiniest bit. He's fishing for compliments and gets none in return - what's he even giving up his random thoughts on what he likes about Gundham for if he's not getting anything back?

Gundham gives a little noise of surprise and snorts around the foam in his mouth, drawing some straight up into his sinus and causing him to bail forward over the sink with a splutter and a cough. Kazuichi huffs through his nose, somewhat satisfied. "There. That's what you deserve." He pulls back and unravels the towel from his shoulders. "I'll just go wash your sheets and go back to staying in my own room."

A couple more coughs and spits and wheezes come from the bathroom for a moment, until Gundham's cleared himself most of the way out - everything from his eye sockets to the back of his throat is minty now, though. At least it's helping guide him through his half-awake confusion, reminding him to be cognizant of possible waiting death around every corner. And brush. He blows his nose, wipes his face, and tosses the toothbrush onto the counter haphazardly. Not dealing with that any more right now. He then peeks out of the doorway into the room, his lips bowed into a tiny pout as he checks to see if the threat has been actually acted upon.

Kazuichi frowns at him with puffed out cheeks as he throws one of the bare pillows onto the ground along with its cover. "I'm not stopping unless I hear an apology. A look isn't going to change my mind." He does feel a little bad for making Gundham cough so bad, but that's what happens when you refuse to be a little nice! If he wants to be called his boyfriend, he needs to act like it. 

"...How old are you? Twelve?" Gundham steps forward, but realizes that he's in danger of getting a pillow to the dick if he isn't very careful and sidesteps the warzone to sit on the bed beside him with a sigh. "Before the blessed time of my full awakening the silver of my tongue is wreathed in black tarnish," he explains, holding out a hand for him, his voice a little scratchy, "sharing the springs with you is a pleasure. Especially with your hands on me."

Kazuichi stops, crossing his arms over with a small nod. "Good. That's all I wanted." He takes a deep breath in, leaning against him instead. "...woulda made me sad to sleep alone anyway." Which makes any threats of it in the future void, but it's probably obvious by now how snuggly of a person he is. He relaxes against him for a few seconds, staring into the bathroom. "Are we staying here or are you putting some pants on?"

" And you smell fine. I would not allow you to taint my bed space otherwise." Gundham lets him lean, puts his head on Kazuichi's with an audible bonk. The hand he'd offered goes onto his thigh. "...A kill would be nice."

He hums, letting his arms unfold to rest his hand atop Gundham's. "Then you should get dressed." Not that he makes an effort to be the first to pull away. "Should I take that to imply you want meat you can stomach or you want me to make you a salad or something?"

"...Does this imply you're stepping in as my lioness for this hunt, O great provider?"

"Yeah, if you'll let me." That brings a smile to his face, moving their hands so they can hold. "I've got no problem organising food for you."

There's an odd feeling that washes over him. A nervousness. However, it's very greatly overshadowed by the growl in his stomach. "...Alright." It's early for lunch but very late for breakfast, so hopefully nobody will see them sneaking around in the kitchen scavenging, with Gundham looking like he just rolled out of bed. He twines his fingers with Kazuichi's, squeezes them, and then lifts their hands up so he can kiss a few knuckles in the tangled mess before he stands back up, "Don't embark without your king."

"Yes, your majesty." He lets go of his hand and watches as Gundham goes to get clothes, leaning down to put the covers back on the pillows as he waits. He might not be the greatest cook in the world, but he loves doing things for other people so making Gundham breakfast shouldn't be too bad. Not like they have the means of making anything complicated. As long as he likes it and Kazuichi can feed it to him, he'll be satisfied. He insists on holding his hand when he's ready to leave and down the hallway too. Yes they'll be questioned if they're seen, but getting attention is more important than social shame right now. "So, you never told me what it is you actually want to eat."

"Vegetable fishcakes..." he mutters, a little wistfully, "The Angel used to order dozens of them on the eve nights of cherubic reverence and allow me to sleep in on the following day, and have whatever was left." One of the few regular meals that he felt great about eating, mostly because it was his designated takeout food for each week. They had some when he woke up, the frozen sort, but he's not sure if there are still any left.

"Fishcakes, huh..." Kazuichi nods. That should be easy. He squeezes his hand leaning into him as close as possible without impairing their ability to walk. "Alright, I'll see what I can do about it." Most of what they had wasn't the most appealing food. Non-perishables and whatever else frozen. It was good enough to live on for now until they could start running things smoothly and farming again. Kazuichi digs through the freezer until he produces the fishcakes, holding them up briefly in triumph before turning to grab a baking tray. "How many do you want?"

With the other set hard at work searching their (honestly pretty impressive, for having been chipped at so long) stock, Gundham mills around and tries to hydrate out the twinge of a headache that's starting behind his eyes with a bottle of water, surveying the kitchen for anything to tidy. There's a shuffle and shift and Gundham peeks over only to catch the very tail end of the excitement, but enough to make him smile briefly anyway. "Three. More, if you're eating off of me." Teruteru's not here, yet, yes? Nobody to yell at him if he sits up on the counter? He hops up and perches himself there, not too far away.

"Ah, but it's not as fun if there's enough for both of us." He says but still adds a few more to the pan before stuffing the rest back into the freezer. He turns the oven on but doesn't really wait for it to preheat before putting the tray in, situating himself between Gundham's legs and leaning his hands against the counter. "If I cut it up into pieces, would you let me feed you?" Not that he'd be particularly upset if the answer is no, but he's never been able to do it before and finds the idea at least a little appealing.

Gundham hooks his ankles together very casually around the back of Kazuichi's legs, sips at his water, and squints, although the tilt in his head shows clear interest. Almost like a dog analyzing a command. "Hmmmm. With intent to be dastardly, or maybe cute?" He hasn't been 'fed' since...perhaps a little older than the average person, but still a while. Oddly, it doesn't sound... bad, though. "I may not be as talented as you in it, but I can still bite if you displease me."

"Cute, obviously. I wanna be cute with you." He wants to have all those couple things. Yeah, he can be a bit...single minded sometimes, but he really does crave a proper relationship with all the relationship things. He doesn't think he himself is particularly cute, but Gundham certainly is and he'd like to see more of it. "I won't do anything, I just want to like sit in your lap and feed you. That's not weird..."

...Gundham smiles. No scarf to retreat into for now, he buries it in Kazuichi's face instead, kissing between his upper lip and his nose. "It's despicably evil, and you deserve to carry out your deeds however it is you wish," he mumbles close to him, closing his eyes and kissing him again, briefly.

Kazuichi laughs, wrapping his arms around him. "Of course I do." And Gundham's so much prettier all dressed down that he just has to take advantage of the opportunity before him to see his expressions unobstructed. "Glad you agree with me. I'm feeding you today then and you can't take it back now."

Gundham tries to kiss him again, lazy as his very heart melts, "You will. If you have freed my maw by then."

"We got fifteen minutes until those are done." So he can get all his kisses out now in whatever way he likes. Kazuichi squeezes him gently, more than happy to continue their exchange. "I'll give it back to you then..."

"Mm, and until that time...?" His voice drops experimentally. Sure, Kazuichi smells pretty strongly of morning breath, but Gundham has more than enough lingering mintiness for the both of them. Even if he didn't, he's not sure it would keep him from seeking the source.

Kazuichi's arms wrap around his neck. "I promise to not get touchy if you don't want me to." Fifteen minutes is a long time to do nothing but kiss, but he's rather determined to control himself if things want to stay wholesome. "But I do want as many kisses as you can give me."

"...To have you restrain yourself hadn't been on my mind, but I like the idea." Gundham keeps his hands to himself on the counter, the only contact Kazuichi's getting actively being the legs around his waist. "If I were to give you as many as I had to spend you would be a pile of ash by the end of it."

"Can't believe you still don't think I know how to keep it to myself." He understands why but he'd been doing well! There were plenty of examples where they were affectionate without being all over each other! Kazuichi pulls him just a little closer, his own thighs pressed against the edge of the counter. "Later then. If you feel like it."

"I meant that I didn't mind if you didn't." Gundham growls, scooting forward until he's sitting on the edge himself, using his hold on Kazuichi's middle to pull himself forward. He gives a little sigh - what's Kazuichi's damage this morning? Cranky. ...and sweet... He sort of likes it.

There's a sort of laugh in his throat, scratching the bottom of Gundham's hair. "You're way kinkier than I thought." He teases quietly. "Spend time making you excited and then make you wait for the best part?"

"I can wait, can you?" He ducks his head a little more to run his teeth lightly over the bottom lip that's trying to tease him. Not only can he wait, but he's not fully invested yet, honestly. He could take it or leave it.

Kazuichi can't contain his smile or how that all makes him shiver. It's all too lovely to hear, Gundham has to know how excitable he is in every conceivable way. "If you tell me to." He lets his tongue flick out to meet him. "I still gotta feed you, don't I?"

"Hmmm," Gundham makes a thoughtful noise and laps at him, kisses that broad smile straight on the teeth, and then lower, purposefully dramatic, " Feed me."

Fuck... does Gundham just know how to be hot or is he just way too easy? There's an excited tremble in his sigh, squeezing him just a little as he licks at him until he's allowed into his mouth. Ten minutes, he tells himself in the back of his mind. Ten minutes and then he needs to get a hold of himself so they can eat like normal people. Gundham heaves a sigh, breathing out his nose. He pulls Kazuichi's tongue into his mouth and sucks on him, his fingers curling on the countertop while he keeps himself from reaching out and touching him. There's a quiet noise in the room, but Gundham's eyes are closed and he's busy listening for any little noises Kazuichi might make while Gundham plays with him. A couple of shuffles. Maybe it's the next room over? He can't tell. He's not especially bothered. "Mm," Gundham gives a quiet noise of encouragement.

Kazuichi responds with a noise of his own, letting his arms unravel so he can grab onto Gundham's thighs. It's easier in sweatpants, he can feel his skin better and it's a much better texture than his usual jeans. He seems so much prettier dressed down, anyway. Maybe because it's so rare or maybe because it's like a promise that they won't be doing anything today. Either way, their tongues tangle, the taste of toothpaste fading in the exchange.

Gundham leans comfortably forward, body loose all except for underneath Kazuichi's palms his thighs tighten a little in anticipation. Another perk of him being in more casual, flexible clothing - the little perk of interest between Gundham's legs is infinitely more noticeable. More noticeable to the man with his own body and hands right next to it than anybody else, certainly. He drags his teeth over the tongue against the roof of his mouth and gives a groan, just loud enough that it almost worries him, sends a slightly cold shock through him at hearing himself, but it quickly begins to decrease in the moments after when nothing happens immediately.

And then ramps back up into ice-cold terror as there's a metallic slam on the countertop beside them. Kazuichi immediately jumps, almost biting his own tongue with how harsh and sudden the motion is, and Gundham raises his hands to try to provide some kind of protection from whatever shrapnel may come at them. One of the metal employee meal trays, shoddily washed and scratched up and tinny and annoying-sounding just when being carried or eaten off of, has been thrown onto the counter beside them, presumably in an attempt to get their attention. A quarter-meter below where he would expect to see one is a flushed face, gauze covering one eye and whole body absolutely boiling with rage. Gundham clears his throat to speak, but doesn't make it in time to expertly diffuse the situation.

"I had the fuckin' scraps of a corpse's eye scooped out of my face this morning. I'll do it. Don't fucking test me. I don't care that there are cameras. I'll do it anyway." The fact he has a butter knife and is waving it in their direction makes Fuyuhiko slightly less intimidating.

Gundham shivers anyway, baring his teeth in a snarl, "Mind your business, little field mouse."

"Mind my-! Mind my business?! You two have been in my business being disgusting for days! Mind your fucking business!"

Kazuichi’s face is a deep shade of pink, growing hotter by the second with his own embarrassment. He'd been...mildly aware of where they were, but he can't say he'd cared until that very moment. At the very least it's Fuyuhiko of all people. He'd step away if Gundham wasn't still holding him so tightly, instead just lifting his hands away from him. "W-We weren't...you don't need to stab anyone! I wasn't gonna—"

"Oh, I know what you were doing! I don't want to hear it, I know what kind of freak you are!" Okay, while he understands why Fuyuhiko wouldn't believe him when he says they weren't going to do anything publicly, it's still a little hurtful. His friend should trust him more than that. "You two have been getting handsy and I'm the one who suffers for it! And here you are fucking all over each other again! I'm getting sick of hearing you get louder every day!"

"I...you can hear?!" Kazuichi didn't think they'd been quite that loud but maybe the walls were much thinner than he realised. The information makes him want to sink into the floor, tugging on his hair without a hat to cover his face. Gundham has a very similarly usually-disguised expression, a grimace on his face while the ducking-into-scarf-motion creates a half of an extra chin with how hard he coils into himself.

"What do you mean 'you can hear?!', the first fucking time you two were screaming about making sure everyone knew!"

Gundham flushes, finally. Oops. That was him that encouraged that, wasn't it? His instinct is to hold Kazuichi closer, something he does for a second before he realizes that he ought to open his legs and let him stand back. Would be nice to have something to hide the half of a boner he's trying to will away right now, though. He very inconspicuously puts his forearms on his thighs as he releases Kazuichi, finally.

"I-I...yeah okay, but..." It's actually a little weird feeling so embarrassed about this sort of stuff. Kazuichi had always been so open before but he can't deny how awkward it is now. "Look, I really didn't expect anyone to actually be around-" though, in the moment it has seemed so attractive to have more eyes and ears on him than just Gundham's, but he seriously expected everyone to have already left their rooms! He finally steps away, standing in the space between him and Fuyuhiko as if to physically mediate. Though, he'd much rather their food to be done so they can just leave. "-I'm sorry, okay? W-We'll be more quiet, just put the knife down."

"You better be!" Fuyuhiko didn't let up his glare, stabbing the air a few times. "I've had to hear about your weird-ass fantasies enough, I do not want to hear you engaging in em!"

Kazuichi shrinks slightly, leaning back. "I know...I'll be more mindful."

"You too!" He points the knife at Gundham. "Either keep it the fuck down or do your shit literally anywhere that isn't in here! Especially not in the goddamn kitchen!"

Gundham growls, an actual low, snarling sound as he bends his knees, putting his heels on the counter. He knows this is a terrible sin, but he's much more okay with being known as the rude feet-on-things guy than the getting-off-on-getting-caught-making-out-in-the-kitchen guy. That's not a side of himself he knew existed, much less one he's okay with letting anyone else know about. "I have done nothing not in the name of the greater good for all of you, and you would do well to grovel before me in thanks! You are welcome! "

Fuyuhiko walks forward, giving Kazuichi a piercing look as he passes him as he snatches up the tray from the counter. "Listening to you get this guy off is literally the worst thing I've ever had to experience." He meets his gaze for a moment before turning away, sighing out as much of his annoyance as possible. "I literally don't care what you two decide to do but, fuck, be a little more self aware!"

Gundham grumbles, pushing his knees together in front of him and rolling his eyes - he picks at the collar of his shirt and puts his face into that instead of a scarf, tugging it up over his nose. "That did not sound like a thank-you. Little ingrate."

"Cause it's not! I had low expectations for Souda, but you should know better." Kazuichi frowns - harsh but fair. Fuyuhiko drops the dishes into the sink, taking a moment to compose himself. "Just...I don't want to see you like this again. I don't want to hear you, especially when I'm trying to sleep. Okay?" 

Kazuichi nods, sliding closer to the oven. "Yeah! We'll uh...shut up a bit more..."

"I-!" He has no good reasoning, not anything new, so Gundham puffs his cheeks and straightens out his shoulders, standing from his spot on the counter with enough energy that for anyone else it might be considered that he's about ready to start a fight, except he keeps to himself, crosses his arms over his chest, and stands at an angle to keep from having to make eye contact. "I'm telling you, he would not have lasted long in this world without me exorcising his demons," he says, uncomfortably, and clears his throat. Jaw tight and his gaze focused very strongly on one of the corners of a far counter, he mutters, "Until we are released into larger pastures, please, execute your will. ...Would asking you to...alert us of your presence be disrespectful?"

"I didn't want to kill your mood because I know you must be thrilled..." He says that with a level of disgust. "But sure. I'll bang on your door if you're way too much. I'd rather you just stop, though." He runs a hand over his face, huffing to himself. "Like, I don't know, surely one of those old buildings is fit enough for however loud ya wanna be. I just don't want to hear it when you actually start fucking." He shivers at the thought.

Kazuichi nods again, embarrassment still clear of his face as he grabs a plate and turns off the oven. "Yeah...yeah okay, I get it. Sorry."

"We'll remain observant! It's -...a last resort!" To be relegated to having intercourse in moulding, broken buildings! Disgusting! Besides, they won't be doing that any time soon. They have very little means to, as much as Gundham's given it thought ever since Kazuichi brought it up in the heat of the moment. 

Fuyuhiko rolls his eyes, waving a hand as he walks out. "Yeah, whatever, just stop being gross. I really don't want to see you two with your tongues down each other's throats again."

"...We're adults," Gundham mutters the moment Fuyuhiko has left, but...he gets it. He doesn't want to admit fault, but the guy is right. Ah, the food smells good...his stomach growls, but he gives no indication that the noise has come from him except for the pointed glance he sends at the tray. Which Kazuichi is reaching for without any protection for his hand. "Wait, hold on," Gundham mutters, moving past him and shooing him away from the oven, gathering off the counter a towel, "Here. Be careful."

Kazuichi blinks at the towel, as if he'd been distracted before taking it with a mumbled thanks. Why is it that he can talk so much about what he desires but having someone hear him so vulnerable like that has him feeling weird? He transfers the fishcakes to the plate, tearing them into smaller pieces without much care for how hot they are. "...so...uhm..." He says a bit awkwardly. "Did you...just want to head back to your room to eat...?"

Gundham puffs out a breath, watching with a furrowed brow as Kazuichi handles the still-steaming food. Luckily, they're pretty easy to crumble, and he's not touching them for very long, or he might have intervened again. He gets that he's used to working with sharp and very hot or small parts, but he can't help but bristle a little at the idea of him burning himself. "You said yourself there was nothing abnormal at all about the fashion you planned on dining with me. I don't see why we would leave." He says that, but he's still obviously a little shaken, lips pursed and rolling onto his toes and back again as he prepares to fucking leave.

"There isn't." He stares at the plate for a moment, taking in a breath. He needs to give himself a moment to let the feeling in his gut pass, stepping a little closer to Gundham. "I still want to feed you," being caught kissing isn't going to change that, "you just didn't get dressed up so...I didn't think you wanted to be out too long."

"I think this is where the definitional use of evil would be especially helpful," he mutters, pushing back the hair that'd fallen back into his face. The chances are that Kazuichi won't accept 'evil' as a descriptor for the proposed acts if 'abnormal' is too strong, though. He gives in with a nod, his cheeks still a little red, and gestures toward the doorway with his chin.

"Or, the things I do can just be things I do instead of good or evil ." He holds the plate in one hand, reaching out to hold Gundham with the other. "I'm doing the right thing as long as I'm not hurting you, you can label them whatever you want."

He rolls his eyes. Fine. He'll explain himself in such a way he's understood someday. For now, what he has accomplished is nice. Gundham meets the touch and moves with him, peeking over a shoulder the entire time, watching the food as if it might disappear if he looks away for too long.

Chapter Text

"...You weathered that storm well." Gundham does his very best to lower his voice when they’re in the hallway, becoming very aware that a lot of their more... heated conversations were probably also audible. Maybe not able to be made out exactly, but enough that the fact they've spent quite a bit of time in correspondence is less of a surprise than he thought it would be.

"You mean," Kazuichi gestures backwards with his head, shrugging with a laugh. "I know how to avoid being scolded...but I don't feel like I did." The fact he hasn't eaten doesn't help the feeling in his stomach, a sort of shame swirling inside. He's glad it was Fuyuhiko and not one of the girls but...still, he doesn't like upsetting the guy. "I'll get over it. It's just embarrassing." Not that it'll stop him from ever doing it again, it'll just make him a little more self conscious until he forgets about it in the heat of the moment. Disappointing though. He'll have to wait a while before they can kiss like that again. "What about you?" He squeezes his hand. "Not feeling dreadfully awkward?"

Gundham looks a little miserable as he hangs his head suddenly and hisses, "That's a human feeling that I wish I had no experience with," he says, gruffly, "and yet I do." He's about to shoulder-check Kazuichi, but takes precautions regarding the plate, not wanting to lose any of it, and instead just points with their clasped hands, guiding him to the room. "I...have regrettably joined the ranks of those I despised most..."

Kazuichi lifts their hands up, kissing his knuckles. "No you haven't, you'll never be on the same level as that." Whatever those are. He can't tell, but he assumes it's something to do with emotions and therefore humanity in some way. "Cause then you'd be below me, wouldn't you?"

"Khh..." The closing of the door doesn't hold the same sense of privacy as it used to. He thought that since they locked it, they'd at least be a bit more secure. "...To be guided so blindly by sexual desire is...probably not very far below you." Although making his desire so clear in such a place as their shared kitchen and to not be able to stifle it even through the ensuing argument was definitely below even Kazuichi. At least it feels like it. He sighs and leans into him.

"It's fine, you'll get over it." Or he won't, either way, Kazuichi won't complain. Either way, he wouldn't say he's completely wrong given that...it takes two to kiss. "We're just...excited about all of this, I'm sure we'll calm down." He reassures him as he holds a piece of fishcake to his mouth.

Oddly enough, despite the new response being much more accurate, he sort of misses the sappiness of the one before. He looks down at the chunk between Kazuichi's fingers, gives it a moment's silent thought, and then does his best impression of an exceptionally polite dog receiving a treat, only touching the hand holding the food as much as is absolutely necessary. It's sort of odd. It feels strange, to eat out of someone's hand literally. He's very aware of the fact that there's a specific taste to Kazuichi's fingertips that he's getting, too, but it doesn't bother him at all. "...I'll get over it," he repeats, thoughtfully, around the most unsatisfying morsel of a bite of something he enjoys he's ever put up with receiving. He stands up a little straighter, glancing back down at the rest and then to Kazuichi, expectantly.

Kazuichi hums, offering Gundham another piece before eating one himself. Every little thing he does is so wonderful - he's way more into Gundham than he would've initially thought. "You really want to stand here the whole time I feed you?" He laughs a little as he holds up another piece.

Gundham gives a glance at the bed and then at the desk, and then back at him, nabs the bite held out for him, and then drops straight to the floor. "No. I want you to sit with me."

Kazuichi kneels down to make sure the food doesn't get spilled, shuffling closer until his knees touch Gundham's legs. "You're cute when you're being direct." He says as he eats a piece himself.

Gundham looks down and puts one hand on each of Kazuichi's knees. He won't be using them, apparently. He's cross-legged and Kazuichi is kneeling, so they're not exactly close together, but enough that Gundham can lean forward and then have room to blink up at him. "I'm always direct," he lies, "you just don't always get it."

"Uh huh," the tone is teasing, pressing a piece of fishcake to his lips. "You know being cryptic and direct is an oxymoron. If I can't understand it, then it's not direct."

Gundham gets a little more brave, not bothering so much to avoid the fingers this time in favour of getting every crumb. "If you spoke to me in another language very plainly, you would say you were being very direct, but I would not be able to understand you."

"I'm not sure that's how that works..." But he can see what he means. He shrugs, shuffling so that he can put his legs on top of the ones in front of him. "I guess you're always cute then."

"You're..." Gundham glances down at their legs, chewing slowly, and sort of helps to guide him with his hands, despite not knowing where it is Kazuichi's going and where he's stopping. "....much kinder than I thought you would be."

"You thought I'd still be mean even if I liked you back?" It makes sense given a lot of their past interactions but...surely he saw his kindness even before now, right? There were plenty of times where Kazuichi was nice to people, and while it's not quite the same as being nice to the guy you're dating, it's still something. "...I was gonna be way nicer to you even if you didn't get all weird about being just friends." He says as he shakes a few crumbs off a piece before offering it.

"Not exactly. I could see you being kind in my mind's eye. Just..." He gives a slight, slow, thoughtful shrug. "Much more difficult to envision it...in practice. With me." He nibbles at the piece held out for him, chews, and then goes in for the rest. "...I didn't intend for it to feel like I didn't want to be your friend. Even if I didn't, not exactly."

"...yeah, that's kind of why I wanted to be less of a jerk." It's truly his own fault that Gundham can't imagine it very well even if Kazuichi considers himself a kind person. It makes him frown to himself as he stares at the plate. Having a crush on him must've been so hard... "N-No, I knew what you meant," or at least Gundham had been very forward about what exactly he was trying to say, "it was just...shocking. At the time. I've had people like me before but no one's really...wanted me like you do." The memory makes him blush, adjusting himself slightly. Both the kiss and the confession. He feels like he should've seen at least one of the two coming but even now in some ways it's a little hard to believe.

Gundham makes a face at the frown. Annoyed. A little hurt. "When you say cute it is not...in opposition to how I see myself. Or how I see you for bestowing that title upon me. Rather, it feels...it feels like...a cosmic impossibility. That I would be receiving it."

Kazuichi laughs. That he can most certainly understand. "Well then, we're both just gonna have to get used to affection I guess." It's absolutely wonderful to know someone truly likes him as much as he wants to be liked, but there is that lingering doubt. That he's being a bit too comfortable, that he doesn't quite deserve someone like Gundham. Being kissed and held is magic, but all the words he's given feels too good to be what he should take. "... I'm kinda glad though. Cause half the time cute is the only word I can think to describe you."

"If I were receiving it from a human I don't think I would be able to accept it as true," Gundham mumbles, but his expression softens significantly. He pulls in and then releases a quiet, soft breath. He's very glad. That he seems to have gotten himself across. That Kazuichi understands that he does want him. He looks from the plate to his face and purses his lips a little, not able to stop the slight quiver to the look. A quiet plea.

Kazuichi gives him a small smile, offering him another piece. "Like that." He eats a few pieces himself to make sure he gets a decent amount at the end of this. "I like when you do stuff like that."

"Training you will be easy then with your natural interest in the rewards I can give you." He nips at his fingertips playfully.

"Training me?" There's a flustered quirk in his smile but he doesn't stutter any more than that. "What would you be training me for anyway?"

"To keep your behavior in order," he says with a little twitch of his own, "to keep you healthy. No beast should be trained for any reason but their own benefit, in the end."

Kazuichi squirms slightly, pulling himself forward to sit properly in Gundham's lap. "What kind of behaviour would need to be kept in order? I'm perfectly lovely the way I am."

"You nearly handled a metal tray directly out of the oven with your bare hands."

"It doesn't really hurt! I can handle it just fine!"

"It was easily at least two hundred degrees!" The weight in his lap is nice. Comforting, despite the silly conversation being held over it. "I'm no longer in the business of letting my allies do whatever they please when their aggression wills it."

Kazuichi huffs, eating a few pieces. "So what, you're gonna hover over me while I work on things? I'm gonna get hurt doing that, it just happens."

"No. I will make you yet more self-sufficient. I will impress upon your soul the reverence it deserves so that it might radiate it itself, not rely on my hovering. "

"If I wasn't self sufficient, I woulda been mutilated by now." He picks a piece off of the plate for himself before finally offering another to him. "I know how to take care of myself..."

Gundham takes it quickly, having been paying very close attention to when the next would arrive. "Do you misunderstand me on purpose?"

"No." He leans forward just a bit. He wants to lean their foreheads together but there's still food left. "I want to understand you."

"...okay," not very different from the answer he usually gets, but the way it's said feels...a little comforting. He sticks his tongue out to swipe his bottom lip and catch any crumbs there, swallows, glances at Kazuichi's lips, back up to his eyes, and stands his ground. He leans in, too, but the angle is much closer to the headbutt Kazuichi is anticipating than it is a kiss. "We share the same desire, then," he says, sounding suddenly very sheepish about it. That's...not something he says aloud. Ever. He takes a deep breath and tries one more time to get his thoughts across. "I want you to hold respect for your being in every sense with the same passion I do. At least. That's all. This is regardless of your skill level. Or your hardy nature. Or anything else at all."

"I-I respect myself." But to hear Gundham cares about him that much strikes something in him. "I respect myself plenty." Or at least he thinks he does. There's nothing he can really think of that would be bad like that…

"I'm not saying you don't, in a lot of ways. But you can not hide from me! I have the gift of insight necessary to view your innermost fears!" He's once again gotten to the point where he's accidentally resorting to dropping his voice low and kicking it up in volume a little, like it'll help, but this time he's aware of it and tries to bring it back down. "O-Or...I mean..." He gives up with a huff. Caring about people is so much harder than just making them uncomfortable on purpose.

Kazuichi stares at him for a moment, giving him a weird look. "You know...you can say it however you want as long as I get what you're talking about." Not like he isn't used to whatever tone Gundham decides to use by now. He likes all of them, to be completely honest. He likes all the possible ways he can be spoken to because each one feels like its own thing. Yet they're all still distinctly Gundham. He appreciates his confidence more now than he used to, but it's still special when it all melts away into something else.

"That's the problem, " Gundham grumbles and sighs, leaning back, narrowly avoiding hitting his head on the bed frame, moving to hold the plate steady so it doesn't get spilled all over his chest. "I can't speak. "

Kazuichi hums, looking back down at the plate and deciding to continue their eating so it can finally be moved. "As in your curse is getting in the way, or you just don't have words right now?"

With the food safe, Gundham moves to put his hands over his face instead, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. "It's always the curse. It has never not been the curse. All successful communications have all been in spite of the curse's influence, not some triumph above it."

"Well..." the fact you changed how you talked the second I got good at understanding you isn't helping that. He wants to say that but it feels too mean, frowning to himself. "...have you considered communicating without talking? I mean, I'm going to get used to how you talk if we keep being together this much and understand you better but you could also figure something else out?"

Gundham peeks out from under the heels of his palms and stares daggers into Kazuichi for a moment, doing his absolute best to try to instantaneously become telepathic for real. Kazuichi doesn't say anything, so he must not succeed. "Only so many threads reveal to me themselves at all. To learn to weave them together into a fashion that leaves them strong enough to reliably place upon the weight of my burdensome mind has taken eons of tuning as it stands." He pouts at first, but then takes a deep breath, "...Although I was cornered into developing the same manner of cacophonous spell expulsion as the likes of humans expect against my will in the first place." Maybe some other method has just...slipped him by without him noticing? Or the humans have hidden from him the true avenues to his expression?

Kazuichi pushes the last piece of fishcake to Gundham's mouth, setting the plate aside and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "I mean, writing is one of them. Some people get stuff across through drawings too." Not that he's entirely certain either of those would solve the issue at hand, but it's worth mentioning anyway. "...I-I don't...mind your nonverbal communication either." He looks away, pulling his mouth into a line. "Or you can just be willing to be a bit more patient."

Gundham gives an appreciative hum, both at the food and at the fact that Kazuichi is back on top of him like a weighted blanket. But, even if he were more patient, would others be? Not likely. He holds himself to the standard necessitated by survival and not a bit higher in that regard. Nonverbal for now it is, then, as bad as that also feels. He reaches both hands up to cup Kazuichi's jaw on either side.

Kazuichi gives him a small smile, leaning into his hands for a brief moment. "So...how are you feeling? Was that enough food?" It's a bit weird having someone to dote on. Gundham doesn't need taking care of, but Kazuichi has always liked the idea of doing things for his partner like this. Now he's got a chance to fulfill that.

Gundham thinks for a moment. He feels...especially evil, but not starving, which is nice. And not ill. That's been fun. He purses his lips and gives a gesture with his chin that conveys a 'so-so' and then a much more confident nod. He strokes through Kazuichi's dark sideburns. If he flattens back his hair, it almost gives the illusion that it's just black from root to tip - so he sort of... pets Kazuichi like one might a cat, pulling back their ears to see what they'd look like without them. Turns out: good. A little odd but he's still sharp. He's still obviously him. "And you? You pilfered enough of the king's meal to be satisfied for now?"

"Yeah...I'm good now." He hums, closing his eyes at the feeling. Gundham really knows how to pat people...which makes sense, but he hadn't really considered how much of a benefit it could be. He gently scratches Gundham's back in time with each stroke, opening his eyes briefly to look up at him. "Got good taste in food, your majesty."

Gundham glances away, embarrassed to be caught making an extremely lovey face. "Thank my mother," he shrugs.

"Hmm..." Kazuichi finally leans forward and lays his head on his shoulder. It was honestly a little hard from the files to tell if Gundham's mother was a good parent or not but...then again, he's been told he doesn't know much about that sort of stuff. "Guess I could thank her for plenty of things...but then I guess according to your lore , you're this handsome because that's what I like."

He flushes, laying his head back to stare at the ceiling. Something about Kazuichi being able to recall the current lore is...sweet. Even if it will probably change at some point. His grip changes to one revolving around cradling the back of Kazuichi's head, scratching his scalp. "If you had had the opportunity to view her, she would have appeared to you in a blinding white flare. If you would have withstood it any length of time - which you likely wouldn't - perhaps you would still have been able to see the influence upon my form, too."

Kazuichi looks up at him for a moment, though there isn't much of his face he can really see. Based on what he had seen in the files, he could kind of see how she was his mother. They had the same eyes and similar hair. The skin was all Gundham and his aversion to direct sunlight and consistent meals, but he imagined that if it were a healthier tone, they'd be a more similar shade. "Yeah, probably." He wraps his legs more comfortably around him, pausing as he focuses on the touch. "...did you really like her?"

Gundham nods immediately at the question, "She was good. Not made in the image of man. Not meant to exist in this world, I think."

"That's good..." Well, there had to be a reason he referred to her as an angel, he'd just never really considered what that reason was. "I'm glad you had a good mum...she raised you well."

Kazuichi bounces a little as Gundham's chest shakes with a chuckle. He'll take the compliment on her behalf this time, even though everything in him wants to rebuke it. To remind Kazuichi that she raised a man that would end her. But also one that can't bring himself to speak ill of the dead, regardless. It wasn't her fault. If nothing else, the simulation proved it to him. She could have done things differently, but that would not have changed his fate. He has the odd feeling that the only one to blame in that regard is himself. Which doesn't fill him with as much loathing as it used to. "She did battle with the same demons I do now, and won. People she liked liked her and people she didn't care for didn't send her bad luck." He should quit talking about it, but it strikes an odd, not-quite-melancholy chord in him. He hasn't spoken about her to anyone at all in years. He moves to be able to squeeze Kazuichi more plainly, his arms wrapped around his upper body, pulling tight with a grunt of effort.

Kazuichi lets out an amused breath. At least it's not a sore subject he's treading on. He was worried it might be, but to see Gundham remember her fondly is nice. "I'm sure you could win too." He's sure at this point it would be much different getting to that point, but he likes to think he could figure out how to live a good life. "...I'll make sure to try and meet her in a different life then."

Gundham takes in a shaky breath. All of his odd, unidentifiable emotion swells into something in his throat that he can't swallow down, pushing his face into Kazuichi's hair and holding him so tight the both of them begin to shake a little. He's not going to cry. He's not . He's not. He battles it down with nothing to show for the bloody war waged within him but a sniffle. "She'd like you. She liked machines. Putting things together. Taking things apart. Changing them, and then rebuilding them."

"Yeah?" Kazuichi rubs his back. That's interesting considering Gundham's complete ignorance to machines, but he clearly had his own interests growing up. "I'm sure I'd like her too." Perhaps if he'd been nicer sooner, he'd have met her, but another life is quite a reassuring thought. "She sounds lovely. I'll make sure to make a good introduction then."

"I believe she'd feel fondly of just about anyone who would want to spend time with me," he snorts, a little bitterly, but is so happy for the backrub and the affection and the love that he couldn't make himself any more upset if he tried. " You're lovely. You have also earned yourself a place amongst the heavens." Obviously, being a celestial body and all.

"Ah...you think so?" He nuzzles into his neck. How wonderful it is to know someone thinks so highly of him. "...I mean...I'd hope that you'd be able to join me."

Gundham switches to holding Kazuichi's sides and turns to deposit him onto the floor so they're lying side by side. "Ah, I'm still at least half angel. I'm sure I'll make the grade just fine." Amalgamation of extremely odd feelings aside...he feels alright. "...How unreasonable would it be to beg of you allowance to transition into my natural nocturnal state?"

Kazuichi considers it for a moment, shrugging. "I mean, I got no problem with when you sleep, as long as I still get time with you." Yeah, he likes the sunlight and he'd like to one day show him off a bit more, but they don't exactly need to be awake at any particular time. "And make sure you eat."

"I'll be sustained off of your energy," Gundham teases, hoping he won't be called out on it because he would very quickly starve indeed, "but fine. If it is what will keep your conscience clear. Back to the nightlife I return - and in preparation, a ceremony must be performed."

"A ceremony?" That could literally be anything knowing Gundham, but he decides to humour him. "Alright, what kind?"

"Mmhm," he sits up and switches them yet again, this time taking the spot over top of Kazuichi but it's only to lean in and kiss him again, a couple times, slowly, and then sits up on his own and tugs his shirt up over his head. "The transition now begins. I will see you on the other side, unless you're joining me," he says, yawns, and tosses an arm over the side of the mattress and starts to crawl back into the bedding.

Kazuichi lays there for a moment before laughing, sitting himself up and grabbing the plate. "That's probably the least fancy ceremony I've ever seen." He sets it off to the side so it can be taken out later, stepping into the bathroom to take out his contacts before turning off the lights. "I'll join you for now, but I might have to get up if I, like, get hungry or something." He's usually not one for napping, but if it's a chance to be with him longer, there's no reason to refuse. He climbs into bed and snuggles up right next to him, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I'll do my best to still be here when you wake up."

"The ceremony is my slumber, actually," Gundham quips back as he sinks into the blanket, curling up tight to fight off the air conditioning. Once Kazuichi is there, though, he can relax a little, and not scrunch up quite as hard to keep every ounce of his body heat - he can just cling to the heating pad that's been introduced to his territory. "Mm. Once you've stoked the embers they shall continue to smoulder long after you've gone, tended to by my body instead."

"If you say so." He hums, already able to feel how the skin pressed against his cheek evens out with his body heat. It's nice to hold and be held. If Gundham does fully go back to be 'nocturnal' though (not that he knows when he even was such a thing, he still attended school just fine), would he have to adjust his sleep schedule too just to have more of this? He doesn't think he'd want their schedules, in general, to be drastically different. But they lay there, silence filling the air. He can feel Gundham take a deep breath in and out to make himself calm down. Kazuichi doesn't particularly feel tired, but he's sure if he lays there long enough, he'll be able to fall asleep eventually. It's warm and comfortable and quiet...perfect as it had always been.

He wants this. He wants all of this until it makes him feel nothing at all. How horrible of a thought it is to want to stay here and never have either of them leave...but it's really not a new thought, is it? How many times has he thought such a thing about Gundham alone?

There Gundham is, laying below him on an operating table, fully clothed and completely bound. In that position, he can do nothing but turn away and they both know he won't. Kazuichi grins down at him from above, caging him in.

"What do you feel?"

"...it is no better than if you were to—"

Kazuichi tuts, pressing a finger to his lips. "What did I say?"

Gundham hesitates, glancing away as if to consider obeying or not. "Simple."

He earns a hum, those teeth inching closer to his neck. "Exactly. So...five words or less, what do you feel?"

"...despair."

He'll never know if Gundham was being honest or just telling him what he wants to hear, but Kazuichi's smile grows impossibly wider all the same, pressing their crotches together with a satisfied sigh. "Good boy~" he breathes, as he always does. "Fuck, you're the hottest thing alive!" He grabs one of Gundham's arms with force. "I want to cut you up and make you such a pretty cyborg. Think I'd earn a master from your lips then?"

Gundham doesn't respond with more than a shudder. He rarely does. Sometimes he's bitey, but he seems so happy to sit there and take it as if submitting to every dehumanising request is more rewarding than having the delicious despair beaten out of him. He'll be coughing up blood either way. Kazuichi bites his own lip as he pulls at belt buckles, his eyes fixated on Gundham's. Dizzy and distant, like they're caught in a trance. Accepting, perhaps.

And all Kazuichi can think about is another time, another life. So far away now and he's almost certain it's never coming back. How he'd seen Gundham working on a laptop in the library and how that had seemed so human. How he moved and his face subtly reacted to whatever he was reading. It was the first time he'd seen Gundham without his exaggerations, or perhaps the first time he noticed. Eventually, he looked over. And they held each other's gaze. And Kazuichi felt his whole mind be thrown into confusion.

Confusion that, even now, was completely unresolved.

He'd lost himself in obsolete memories again, something that seems to be harder for him not to do. Gundham's already stripped of his clothes, already panting and already begging. For what, Kazuichi hadn't been paying attention, but the desperately relieved noise he hears as he moves his hips is enough of a tell. ...he misses when it was harder to get Gundham like this, the way it felt to finally overpower him. He wants to see him cry again, wants his every touch to make him scream. He wants that fight back, he wants to see him shaking in his own blood, he wants to stop thinking about things that don't matter anymore and choke him. He wants to choke Gundham.

He wants to feel his skin bruise beneath his hand, for him to push at his wrists and gasp for breath. He wants to watch him beg for mercy, watch him become lightheaded before he coughs as blood and air return to him. 

So he does. Kazuichi's hands wrap around deathly pale skin, blocking air without care of safety or comfort. He wants him to flinch but he doesn't, he never does. Gundham's sounds become strained and he reaches out to claw at Kazuichi as he grits his teeth. But it's not enough, he wants more. More pain, more suffering. He wants to make him excited and scared. He wants him to remain flaccid and bleed for him. He wants to hear him sob, uselessly telling him to stop.

But the only one sobbing is Kazuichi.

Suddenly, the world around him is nothing but an empty void, and the arms that wrap around him aren't Gundham's, but his own. A hand is combing through his hair, but it's not comforting.

"...you enjoy it too much, don't you?"

Kazuichi stares off into the darkness as he's pet like an oversized cat.

"It's okay. I know you can't help it."

"I-It's not the same." He mumbles.

"Isn't it? You've always liked a bit of pain, haven't you?" The other hums, hold still ever so gentle. "You're not normal. Perhaps I've always been here and now that you've noticed, you can't get rid of me."

"It's not the same!" He says more insistently despite the tears.

"That's not true. Just because you'd rather someone else hold the knife now?" The hand in his hair moves down to rub his neck. "Guilty mind~...it still felt good. Didn't it?"

***

Kazuichi's eyes are shot open wide, feeling himself struggling for breath. He sits there for a moment to get his bearings. He can hear Gundham beneath him, still asleep. He can hear the rustle and occasional chirp of hamsters. It helps, somewhat, knowing for sure he's awake. But he pulls himself out of their tangle of limbs, moving to sit on the edge of the bed before hugging his own torso. Why did he have to have another stupid dream? He shivers, covering his face. Frankly, compared to the torture he's woken up in a sweat over, this is tame. But it's still confronting, disturbing in its own way and he'd rather not wake Gundham just to deal with it. No more crying, he needs to stop crying in front of him!

He lets out a shaky sigh, trying to compose himself. He wants to shove it down again. He wants to ignore it as best as he can like he'd been doing before...but he shouldn't, should he? It wouldn't be right by Gundham for him to do that and it'll only keep coming back to taunt him. It's not that being together is awfully worrying, they'd practically been together for years now, it's the way each memory twists inside him. Not the potential judgement, not the crisis it brings to him because if he really thinks about it, he must've accepted loving Gundham a long time ago. It's that the part of him that voices his anxiety as fact is sort of right. Or at least it feels like it is. The hands that killed strangers and tortured loved ones have always desired such things in some way. Have always wanted to stab and be stabbed - he can't say he never had gorey thoughts before any of this. And Gundham, his greatest victim, was only subjected to so much because Kazuichi's heart was free to pursue what he wanted. He'd started crushing and despair allowed him the freedom to take without shame. Despair didn't make him desperate and obsessive, he was already like that. It's off-putting, he knows that, and the lack of guilt is what makes him feel so incredibly guilty.

It's so easy to hold Gundham now and have what he wants because it feels as though perhaps he wasn't guilty all along. Instead he was selfishly terrified of being hated, of causing pain and ruining everything, but the second it didn't seem to matter, it just disappeared. Suddenly, thinking of all the times he cradled a bloody Gundham in his arms doesn't bring a pit to his stomach. Suddenly he feels like it's okay to be turned on by some of his memories. And while some still make him uncomfortable, that too seems to be passing. Maybe because they seem so far away or maybe because he's just not facing consequences. He should feel guilty. He should hate himself for everything he did no matter what anyone says, yet every day the worry fades a little bit more. Surely if he were a truly good and moral person he would never feel okay again and yet...

He allows himself to have this. He allows himself to feel happy. He allows himself indulgence. And just like that, he feels free of sin...which makes him feel ashamed.

Maybe despair messed his brain up so much that he just can't compute how painful it all is. Maybe he's starting to detach himself in order to move on. But it hurts. Because he wants to be good. He wants to be seen as good, to know he isn't actually a selfish person and that his desires aren't wrong. But he feels wrong. He's felt wrong for so many years to the point where he truly mustn't be human. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. He doesn't want what they had before. He's sure of that. The last thing he wants is for both of them to be on the edge of death every day. But is wanting to hold and be held really that bad? Should he bury desires he's had since he first discovered that side of himself purely because of how wrong it could all go? Does he not deserve those things if they're with a willing and eager partner?

Chapter Text

Gundham stirs a little, but not enough to notice anything amiss. In fact, after a moment, he grumbles to himself and flips onto his stomach on the warm spot Kazuichi left, and then turns again until he's facing the wall instead of the other, occasionally making more noises. Not speech, exactly, but sounds that act almost like it. He sounds a little annoyed, or maybe concerned, and then quiets down again. Starts up again, and then settles. Eventually it starts up with enough fervour that he jerks himself awake on accident with a kick and a sound almost like a woof. He's not sure what it is that's awoken him - the memory of whatever it was he was dreaming out eludes him the moment his eyes open - and so he looks around a little, trying to remember where he is and who he's with before he rolls back onto his stomach one more time.

Kazuichi only looks back at him with a jerk. He hadn't paid much mind to him before that, but the suddenness of it all had made him a little concerned. ...he's sure that if he could see him, he'd like the way Gundham looks even now. Despite everything, just being here and how domestic it is makes his chest warm. He hesitates, shuffling backwards to reach Gundham's head to card fingers through his hair. "Sorry..." He whispers, swallowing down whatever had been bubbling inside him. "Did I wake you?"

Gundham sniffs and reaches an arm out to search, finds Kazuichi's butt and then moves up to his hip and then holds him lightly with curled fingers. His left hand doesn't have as much grip strength as the other, anyway, but tired, he definitely can't hold him very tightly at all. Doesn't mean he doesn't try. "I don't know," he slurs a little, "Were you trying to?"

"No...I didn't want to disturb you." He smiles gently to himself, pulling his legs onto the bed again and comes close enough for him to lean his head against his thigh. "I just–" he sighs. No point bringing it up to him. "Nothing. Sorry I left."

Happy to have the pillow, Gundham squirms into the lap set for him, takes a deep breath of him. Smells good. He stuffs his face into him. "You're busy," he says, still operating off of some dream assumption or...something, he's not sure, but it just feels correct that Kazuichi had been doing something and now crawling up his ass just to snuggle again is likely keeping him from doing it.

There's a quiet note of a laugh. "Not too busy I can't be here." Because he's not, there really isn't anything else he needs to be doing. There isn't somewhere he'd rather be. "Do you want me to stay?"

"...Time is it?" His eyes open again, blink a couple of times, trying to stay that way. He's never been an...immediate awakening type of guy.

"I don't know, I haven't checked." But given that the light is still shining in under the door from the hall, likely sometime in the afternoon. He gently scratches the back of Gundham's head. "You can still sleep if you really want to, there isn't anywhere you gotta be."

Gundham shakes his head sluggishly and sets his chin on his thigh. "Keep me up," he says, stretching an arm over his lap, and then the other.

"Really? I thought you were making yourself nocturnal again." But he's got no reason to deny him. How could he say no to him now? It seems so hard these days. "I've only been up for about five minutes so my conversation topics are pretty dry." Except for one, but he doesn't want to ruin the mood. "...I like your tired voice."

"I am," Gundham pats around until he's face-first into his lap with a long sigh, "Predators of the night have their widest array of meals available at dusk. I must rise while the Eye still reigns and watch its downfall."

He can't tell if he's disappointed to have his normal speech back or not, but regardless, he leans back on his free hand. "Is that so? I guess that makes sense then." Kazuichi can't bring himself to feel anything except a soft joy, listening to him and playing with strands of hair. "And what are you planning on eating tonight?"

Gundham stretches with a groan. He wouldn't normally actually think about this question, but...well. Since Kazuichi's been tasked with keeping him awake, this must be part of that, yes? He wouldn't want to screw with the workflow. So he puts some thought into it, grimacing. He goes less with 'planning' and more with 'would like to', "Yellow curry. Miso eggplant...fried chicken..."

Kazuichi nods along with the list. All good choices for a meal, all things that while they certainly wouldn't be the best versions, they could still be created fairly easily. "I see...and I take it you'd like it if I cooked that for you?" Not that he's ever made yellow curry, but surely it can't be that hard. Curries are simple. "You've worked up an appetite."

"Like a serpent I feast when prey is abundant and metabolize it slowly in times of famine. But to lie on a warm surface stimulates my appetite," Gundham grumbles, pushing himself up to stare into Kazuichi's eyes to gauge how serious he is when he says such a thing.

Kazuichi leans down, straining his back to kiss his forehead. "So sleeping with me makes you hungry?" He'd blame the fact he missed lunch on that, but it still makes him smile. Still makes him want more of this. "Guess I should start learning your favourites then, huh?"

He nods and adjusts his positioning to follow the face into a slightly more comfortable place to keep kissing it. Both of their breaths smell awful. It doesn't stop him. "You may know them better than I do if you pay any attention at all," he wants to plant another one on him but is yawning too hard to do it, having to lean back away a little. "...but these are things I have liked before."

"I'll pay so much attention." He promises as he pulls himself down so they can be face to face more comfortably. "Dedicate an entire section in my brain all to you and everything I know you like." He brushes their noses against one another. "Remember as much as I can to get you good food and gifts."

Gundham smiles at the touch of their noses, giving in to the affection wholeheartedly and shaking his head, too. "You're too sweet," he says facetiously through the little grin, "I like savoury better."

He laughs, wrapping his arms around him fully. "Well too bad! Now you're stuck with me." He pecks him on the lips with a brief squeeze. "Nothing's gonna stop me from being sweet."

The peck gets followed curiously, gently, given the bit of trauma from earlier in the day, but still with a bit of interest he can't hide. "Mmhmmhm. I'm sure I could convince you given enough time. Sugary, sugary." he mumbles cutesy little noises against Kazuichi's lips, like he's not also contributing to the terribly sweet atmosphere between them.

"Nope. Never ever." He can't even make himself stop smiling, holding him close with kiss after loving kiss. Any worry from that dream faded so fast, left with nothing but the warm feeling between them. It's so much. So overwhelmingly perfect. "I like sweet so I'm not going to stop unless you make me."

"You do, don't you? Disgusting," is the tease he receives in return, sticking his tongue out - apparently to show said disgust, but only managing to give an awkward lap at him that makes him snort at himself, "you always used to smell like candy and fruit juice and antifreeze. Like little girls' perfume if it'd been cut with gasoline."

"I did not eat it that much!" He argues, gently, still with a smile. Yeah, he adores sugar, but it's not like he was living off it to the point the smell followed him everywhere. At least he didn't think so. "I think you're exaggerating. Bet you'd like the occasional soda if you gave it a try."

Gundham plain laughs at being caught out, and then remembers that he might be heard and bites himself back a little, "No, it's just like how you stink like a carcass now." Though, if Kazuichi smells like a carcass, he himself may as well be a vulture, coming in for more and more.

"You're so mean to me." Kazuichi says that but he doesn't even pout. He's leaning into him and letting his feet kick in the air behind him. "Can't you say one nice thing about your poor boyfriend?"

"My boyfriend," he mutters, thoughtfully, "he's so terribly powerful he makes even a walking blizzard hesitate in its path of destruction...mmh. The only one fitting to oppose me, isn't he?"

Kazuichi doesn't even try to stop himself from leaning in to kiss him again, humming against him. He loves this all. Talking so gently, being held and happy. Just existing in the arms of another and whispering to each other. He wants to melt and have this all to himself forever. "...I love you."

It makes Gundham's heart leap into his throat and everything he could possibly worry over fall away. No one - not even Fuyuhiko - could threaten him out of showing as much of that sentiment as he possibly can, as long as he can, for however much more he may have the opportunity. Gundham takes his lips, sucks on the bottom one, tugs on it playfully, wiggles his hips like a dog wagging its tail. Kazuichi says it with softness, but conviction. It's the first time he's heard it from him like that. Tender. Truthful. "I love you, I love you," he kisses Kazuichi's chin in the middle of chanting it like a magic spell, "I love you, I love you, I love you. Hold this tightly, now, will you? That I love you and there is nothing that could keep me from it."

Kazuichi responds with gentle, happy sounds at all the affection, doing his best to keep up with all his excited kissing. "I will." He promises, squeezing him. Now that he's said it out loud, he's sure that every time after will be so easy. Saying it and having it said in return is such a wonderful feeling he hopes never disappears. He feels so certain that it's the truth. "I love you. I want to be loved by you. I...I'm so sure I want all of your love."

"And he's a poet," Gundham pulls back, shuffling until he's up on his knees, hands polite in his lap, sat next to him. There's no big, broad smile on his face, but there is a little quirk of one accompanied by a pleasant, relaxed feeling all around it. He puts one hand onto Kazuichi's thigh and rubs it affectionately. "Teach me your magic and I will teach you mine."

He hums comfortably, staring up at him despite his limited vision. He's not sure if he should sit up as well, instead reaching up to hold Gundham's cheek. "I will, I want to." Anything at all. Even if Kazuichi doesn't really know what magic he's referring to, he's still so sure that that's what he wants. "I'll teach and show you everything you want."

"I may yet survive, then..." he turns his face to put his nose into the spot between Kazuichi's thumb and forefinger, kissing his palm. "The night is ours, my star. Is there anything at all, then, that you would ask of me, in return for all your toil in your guarding of my slumbering form? Of your feeding my voracious appetite?"

Kazuichi finds himself wanting nothing at all. He only truly wishes to be wanted and here in Gundham's eyes he is. He's sure he'd be satisfied if they did nothing but stare at one another. "...all I could ask for is you." It's so selfish but he doesn't care. He wants all of it, every last piece of him Gundham is willing to give, every drop of attention he can lap up. He wants to be loved without restriction and grow comfortable desiring it all. "Just spend time with me. I want whatever you'll give me."

"...I'd like to try probing your depths again," Gundham muses, eventually, after a prolonged bout of soaking in the affection. "I believe I know better how to begin this time."

"If that's what you wanna do." Now that he's truly allowing himself to embrace it, each honeyed word has his insides swooning. He loves him and he just wants to keep saying it. "Where do you want to start then?"

Now working off of sleep levels acceptable to his body and warmed up, primed for being open and calm, Gundham feels a little looser in his handling of human subjects. If this is all Kazuichi has ever known, then indulging a little for the sake of normalcy might help build between them more bridges, right? So he'll do stuff he's heard humans do. He sits up as high as he can, trying to put himself high above Kazuichi so he can bask in how absolutely powerful the moment of social breakthrough is going to make him feel. "If you could have full unequivocal power to meld mind and soul with one of the world's stranded cells of hell's power, what would it be?"

Kazuichi can't help but laugh. Such a Gundham question to ask. He wasn't expecting him to go down that path but he's more than happy to indulge. "Uhm..." It's not something he's ever thought about, but he's sure the other has given it thought. "Am I always able to understand them or do they adopt the human language of whatever country they're from?"

"Soul-bond. It is automatically translated into whatever you understand most intrinsically. No miscommunications, ever." Gundham waves a dismissive hand.

"Probably birds." He shrugs. "Cause there are so many around everywhere so there's always one you'd be able to talk to and I bet a lot of them would have interesting stories."

This really stokes some thought in Gundham. He does a lot of very, very deep thought, tying things together. Analysis. And then spits out, almost robotically, "You want unique information out of the relationship. ...Interesting." He doesn't note that 'birds' is akin to saying 'mammals', casting far too wide a net for anything to make any sense, and instead lets him carry on. "I see now why you asked. Some of them travel across the world quite regularly. A good question, then."

Kazuichi finally pulls himself up to sit, leaning back on his hands. "Yeah! They're well travelled and they can fly so the things they've experienced are way different to any human. And I can't pick something I'd never interact with and picking like dogs seems really boring since they wouldn't have anything really unique in their life compared to some people." Yeah, birds seems like a pretty solid choice, though he'd be hard pressed if he was asked what kind. Probably pigeons then... "I think I might be able to guess your answer but you might surprise me. What would you go with?"

Gundham sits there quietly above him for a second. "...Well, now I don't want to say."

"No! Come on, you have to answer." He reaches up and practically hangs himself from his neck. "I want to hear your answer, it's only fair."

"This is about you," Gundham says, making a face, and very quickly coming up with another one - "While we were confined to the other realm. What was it you did with your...weekends?"

Kazuichi frowns to himself but eventually just sighs. There's no point in arguing with him over such a trivial question. "My weekends, huh..." He wouldn't consider it interesting information, but if Gundham wants to know. "If I wasn't hanging out with anyone, I was usually just working on my projects. Maybe watching a show if I wasn't feeling up to it."

Gundham lifts his brows - an opportunity! "Elaborate. Who you hung out with. What was your favourite project? Something you would watch?"

"You guys, obviously." He says that with a tone like he wants to flick his forehead. "It was only really when we decided to do something as a group. As for projects, I could never pick a favourite. Sometimes I was just doing some repair stuff, either on appliances or vehicles, other times I was building something from scratch though that stuff became less hobby and more school work." Gundham's so eager to get all the information he can, Kazuichi finds it rather amusing. There isn't any reason to keep him from his information then. "As for shows...sometimes it was stuff about building cars or all about trains or how things worked. Other times it was just like...anime."

"You didn't 'hang out' with me," Gundham spits back at the little beast hanging from him like a tree sloth. Kazuichi did...he did a lot of being near to Gundham. And doing things with him. But only because they had to, right? Because they were in the same homeroom class. Sure, he'd bother the Devas, and then later the Generals, and Gundham would have to deal with the repercussions of letting his companions draw blood from classmates. And they were often assigned nearby each other in group projects, but...they didn't talk, really. When they did, it was usually yelling past each other or pretending the other wasn't saying anything than anything else. "I used to sleep to shows about the makings of machines because it was boring," he mumbles, and then narrows his eyes, "...I'll be back for the favourite project. Until then, I command thee: proclaim to me your royal hall of anime! To whom you were paying your small mind's excess magic to!?"

"Uh- man, are you sure?" It was pretty obvious Gundham was an otaku to some degree, but it wasn't really every day Kazuichi had someone wanting to hear about everything he was interested in. "I guess I mostly watched shonen. I'm into stuff with action, like superheros or giant robots."

Gundham narrows his eyes sceptically, although his mind is filled with very warm and pleasant images of Kazuichi making that 'staying awake but only barely' face, staring at a television screen. "Mobile Suit Gundam? Neon Genesis Evangelion? Zoids? Code Geass? Less serialized things? Come on. Tell me."

"A-Ah, yeah, I watched all of those..." How is this embarrassing? He could easily sit down and read stuff with people without being self conscious about being judged but suddenly having to list everything he's seen is a bit daunting. "Basically if there's an anime, I've seen it. I never owned any manga or magazines, but I did read whatever interested me in libraries...though, you'd always be hard-pressed getting the specific volume you needed, someone was always borrowing it."

Gundham, on the other hand, is feeling a little bit of a rush. His fingers tingle a little and he wiggles them, leaning over Kazuichi, holding himself up on his palms and staring down at him with an intense gaze. He opens his mouth to tell him of his exploits, but then closes it. This is Kazuichi's time. "Did you ever just read whichever was available, even if it was out of order?"

Kazuichi moves so they're more directly in front of each other, staring at the blurry and barely illuminated face before him. "I mean, I didn't like to. Especially if it was a series I'd never seen anything about. If I was super desperate, I'd find a copy on my phone, but I'd only read it out of order if I'd already seen the anime." He's sure Gundham has an adorable and fascinated expression, he just can't really see it right now. "I like rewatching or rereading stuff a lot. Sometimes I'd finish a three season show and then start it all again from season one if I enjoyed it enough."

Oh, there is - a wicked grin above him, a glint in his eye that betrays his genuine interest despite the melodramatic evil smile on his face. "Ahh, you're just as smart as I have given you credit for...good. You continue not to disappoint. Your respect for the stories told is of an acceptable level." Gundham leans back further, taking Kazuichi with him, pulling him in with a hand on his lower back and the other under one of his arms. "Your most often retrodden path. How many times did you travel across it?"

"I mean..." He has to think about that for a moment. Kazuichi loves plenty of shows and would rewatch them in a heartbeat, but there's also plenty he's into that he's just never really revisited so it's a lot to sift through. "I guess that depends on how old I was. Like right before middle school I got given this Mazinkaiser DVD for my birthday." He laughs, a mix of embarrassment and fondness. "Man, there wasn't even a season's worth of content but I loved that so much, kept watching it until the disc couldn’t read anymore."

Gundham blinks in the dark, his gaze fixated fully on Kazuichi's eyes. The way light is shining allows him to see the sheepish look on his face, but...he looks happy, too. What's this feeling? His eyes and cheeks are tingling, and so is something deep in the pit of his stomach. Flashes of scenes fly by. He's essentially watching it behind his own eyes. He can't be serious, right? He has to be joking, or something…

Kazuichi's smile falters slightly when he doesn't get a response, glancing up at him. The silence makes him nervous. "I...I-I mean, it's not the most popular thing in the world." He kind of hopes maybe Gundham's just never heard of it. "It might've been some bargain bin thing, I don't know, I never looked into the online community..."

The tingle travels up Gundham's chest. He pulls Kazuichi closer, moves his hand from his chest to his face, cups him, leans in, and lets the dizzy feeling guide him. He breathes out shakily, excited, as he kisses the words away and forces Kazuichi to stop, sucks his bottom lip into his mouth and hums lowly. He's not joking. He's not kidding. There are probably countless times out there in the world where both of them were watching it at the exact same time, aren't there? Little moments of connection without even knowing it, all of them are flooding him now. All the times he felt like there was nobody in the world like him and he and Kazuichi had been sitting together, across the country from each other…

Kazuichi makes a small, surprised noise, but he isn't going to deny the both of them a kiss. So he accepts, despite how random it feels, and hums right back into his mouth. He really likes sucking on his lip, huh. It's loving, and he can certainly tell there's some kind of excitement in Gundham as he holds him in place. Almost like relief or perhaps congratulating him for naming something so niche. Who knows, either way he melts. Gundham combs his teeth over his lip and then lathes his tongue over, kisses him deeply, pries him open and laps into him, holding him tight.

They hold it almost long enough for Kazuichi to consider wrapping his legs around him. He wants to, but he doesn't now that they've pulled back. He swallows to find his words. "I-Is that a good choice then?"

Gundham takes a breath and wiggles his hips again, excited. Is this how it's going to be forever? That Kazuichi will keep doing things that make him want to explode? Over and over? "Hundreds of times I've experienced the stinging defeat and beautiful resurgence..." he whispers, bumping their foreheads together, "Kazuichi. You understand, do you, what this means?"

Kazuichi can't make himself look away for more than a second despite how his cheeks must be so hot. He pulls himself in to sit in Gundham's lap properly giving the question some thought. Given how passionate that kiss was, he's not sure he's entirely certain. "That...uh...you're more sure about all of this?"

"We really do share the same affliction, undoubtedly, for only our kind could withstand the power. Have you ever been told that you possess 'intense, strange interests'?" he breathes, raises his other hand and holds his face, squishing Kazuichi's cheeks, "Also, I love you."

The question itself is laughable. "All the time about literally everything." Being intense about his interests was part of his whole image during high school, anyway. But he does squeeze him back.

"That's the one they predicted of me that stood out," Gundham says, giving him a peck on the lips, "one that I could never disprove."

"What, that people call you weird for liking stuff?" Kazuichi gives him a weird sort of look. "I mean, yeah, but everyone's got stuff they're passionate about."

Gundham makes a face back at him, "...People?" As if this is something he thought was obvious, "No, I have not been so pathetic in my endeavours to have only been regarded by the crowds. I'm talking about doctors."

Kazuichi stares at him for a long moment. "...if your doctor is calling you weird, maybe you should get a new doctor."

"Not her exact words," he mutters, suddenly feeling a little more sheepish about this whole conversational topic than he thought he would.

"Still. I know I'm not normal," or at least he never truly felt normal and it was only under specific circumstances that he was treated as normal. "But some people are different! You're telling me my interests make me diagnosable by a doctor?"

"I told you, that was just the prediction they made that I couldn't shake! The other traits on their damnable list I could explain as decisions I make on a regular basis! I will not have my being pathologized in that way, either, trust me. My disrespect for their decision is why I dare not speak its name on account it would breathe it life."

Kazuichi hums. "Well, either way basically none of us are qualified to make a judgement like that so..." Aside from, well, Hajime, but he'd rather not find a way to other himself even more. He likes considering himself a star because it's his choice and no one can use it negatively against him, but he's not sure he wants to be labelled with something to alienate himself further. Even hypothetically. "Because of that, I choose to view myself as perfectly fine."

"This is what I mean when I say we are exceptional! Kings! I call it royal, infernal blood! I call it power beyond all mortal kind! I call it the all-encompassing void coming for humanity - who can only balk and point and stare and ridicule, as if dubbing the beast will give them the upper hand. I call it Heaven and Earth's collision! I call it the New World! ...They call it autism." He squishes Kazuichi's cheeks again. "You are fine. I am fine! Better than fine!"

Kazuichi stares at him for a moment. Autism? He's certainly heard of it before but he doesn't really know anything about it. Does it really mean anything that not only does Gundham know for certain he has it, but he also thinks Kazuichi may have it as well? He decides to just let it go for now, whatever it is, it's not like it really matters to them right now. He squeezes Gundham with his arms and legs. "Yeah! Doesn't matter what they call it, we still made it this far."

Kazuichi gets to experience the grin for real this time, because Gundham smashes it against his face, only mostly against his lips, beaming, returning to one of his very favourite activities: scratching his fingers through Kazuichi's sideburns and around his ears. "...You act as a key to the wall of force I cast about my core...enough to writhe your way in and disrupt my evil game of wits..."

"We didn't really get that far..." It was, what, basically two questions? Either way he's got absolutely no problem with just sitting here until they need to get up and eat instead. "But if you prefer this...I don't mind. I didn't think you'd get this happy over my answers."

"My existence has two purposes! To examine the lives around me, and to understand their purposes!" Of course he means more so magical beings than people, but Kazuichi is one of those. He makes a little noise of excitement as he kisses his cheek. "You are fulfilling the needs of my very soul in your feeble endeavours!"

Kazuichi laughs, his excitement is contagious. "They're not feeble if they're making you this happy." And to be seen as interesting is such a wonderful thing he doesn't want to be rid of. It's all worth it if he gets to see Gundham like this more.

"You're still clumsy in it. Unrefined. Afraid! As you should be, in the face of the almighty ruler who could decide at any moment to end your miserable existence! But you shine regardless, and each time you surprise me how brightly." The kisses migrate to Kazuichi's jaw and turn into playful nips, "Imagine what you could do at your full potential."

Kazuichi hums, squeezing him. How nice it feels to be overwhelmed with another's desire for him. "Yeah?" Is that to say he isn't great at conversation? He already knew that, it's only when he's trying way too hard does he come off even a little normal. "And how do you think I could reach that?"

"Hone your skill!" Like that's advice that will help - but he does mean it. Encouraged by the rhythmic hug squeezes, Gundham just sort of does what he wants while tucked into Kazuichi's neck - kisses and sucks and noses and breathes. He's finding that he likes when Kazuichi is in sort of a middle stage between shower and non - he's currently a little too clean for Gundham's tastes, but he'd never admit it. He is searching for any little bit of natural smell he can get, though, jamming his nose like a snuffling hamster into any warm spot he can get it. "...what is stopping you from telling me more? Vanquish that. Whatever it is."

Kazuichi makes another noise but it's hard to tell if it's because of the conversation or the way Gundham's holding him. Realistically, he knows part of the problem is that he's just grown to hold most of his thoughts in that letting them out requires him to be so excited that he forgets himself. And, maybe now, he sort of wants to impress Gundham just a little despite knowing he'd love his every word. He knows that there's nothing in that regard he could say to make himself unappealing, but it's practically instinctual. "That's a bit easier said than done." Kazuichi lets his hand tangle into his hair, letting the touch distract him from feeling too bad about it all.

Gundham gives it some thought, but he can't really think of anything in particular that would make it difficult. Maybe he doesn't know where to start? "I can keep prompting you, if that's what you need."

"That might help make it easier. At least with you." Which...feels like the most important thing right now. He wants to do this whole dating thing right, which means being as open as possible, right?

"What is that supposed to mean?" He's not sure if he should be offended or not. "Whatever," it's dismissed, and Kazuichi is continually peppered, "Fine. Your favourite project, then. That you completed fully. ...Before. Not one of her majesty's special orders."

Kazuichi makes a disappointed noise. Well, that rules out his rocket. "Favourite that I finished..." All the ones he was always most excited for fall under what Gundham isn't counting. Things he never got the chance to finish or things he only managed to finish after... "I made a car." Not super impressive on the surface, but he did love that project. "Like I learnt how to do it from scratch, making the outer shell and everything by myself. That was pretty good cause I had to do way more metal work than I usually do for most projects."

"If you weren't reined in you would be talking about water engines and space travel," Gundham says, quietly, with a little bit of a chide, "where does the machine live now?"

"Ah, I wouldn't be surprised if it's destroyed by now." Or at the very least somewhere out there not working. "It had been one of the first projects I did at the high school because there was just so much freedom and so many tools available to me that it was actually a viable use of my time. I never actually drove it and I'm not even sure if it was road legal but...it was pretty cool having something I made."

"...Did I ever bear witness to it, unknowingly?" Not that he frequented the garages.

"Oh! Definitely. It hung out in the workshop ever since it was finished. You've been in there so you've at the very least seen it in passing. I never ended up asking someone to test it for real, but if it had ever gotten outside, I just know it would've handled like a dream."

Gundham gives a long noise of acknowledgment into Kazuichi's throat. "Was that when you first mastered the chemical dragon, or has it perhaps molded metal to your whims eternally?"

"I'd done it at a much smaller scale. Not at home cause that stuff would've been expensive." He leans into Gundham. "I did some soldering in middle school which kinda gets you the basic skills, then at Toushima I finally started doing proper welding. That project was when I did it by myself though."

"You're unexpectedly confident in maintaining control in a clash of powers that could easily take your body and soul." He's seen it - how can Kazuichi be afraid of anything at all if he alone is peerless in his skill in wielding such danger?

"Cause I know what I'm doing! Machinery can be dangerous, but if you're not stupid and you actually bother following all the proper procedures, the chance of injury is super low. Even then, I've never done anything bigger than just a cut somewhere, but nothing I couldn't fix myself."

"On yourself," Gundham teases him, accenting the fact that it is indeed a tease with an audible suck at Kazuichi's collarbone before he keeps moving on, wandering. "I understand. I know my own strength and how it influences my actions," he nods, very thoughtfully, and then gives a sigh, putting his ear onto the middle of Kazuichi's chest and curling up there. It's not easy, given his size, but he's doing his very best.

Kazuichi cards his fingers through Gundham's hair, front to back. "Yeah. Like once you understand how to interact with an animal, it's not nearly as scary. It's the same thing except it's way easier to make a machine stop if something goes wrong."

"...True enough," he admits with a sigh, blinking off into the stripe of light from the bathroom. It hurts his eyes, but it is keeping him awake. "In some ways." He'd still rather have a horse fall on him than a chunk of metal of the same weight, but in most cases, he can see how having an off button is helpful for those on the receiving end of their wrath. It surely had prolonged his life at least once. "Much easier," he mutters, idling on that thought for a second.

"...You feeling comfortable there?" He gently teases, still racking his fingers through his hair. "I know I'm super comfortable, but I'm meant to be keeping you awake."

"I'm in no danger of falling asleep." He really isn't - not only is he battling a headache now, he's also thinking about a strange amalgamation of things that have him feeling especially odd. About wounds and robots, nights at his mother's house, time spent in the campus garage, about the way Kazuichi's skin feels under his mouth and tongue. "I told you, this is prime hunting hour. I would be remiss to give it up for any reason at all."

"Oh yeah? Then why are you sitting here instead of hunting?"

"Oh!" Like he's been stabbed, Gundham jerks back dramatically, and then meets his eye from under a furrowed brow and speaks through pained, gritted teeth, his act immaculate and perfect and indistinguishable from the truth, "That's the reality of the situation, isn't it...? For every explosive moment of huge nuclear celestial power you display, there is another of just as crushing, cold and desolate defeat..." He hangs his head, silently, the hands on Kazuichi putting light pressure on his chest, like he's deciding on whether or not to push him away.

Kazuichi blinks at him with surprised and wide eyes. "Dude... that's super poetic and all, but I'm not really sure what it means." Not in a metaphor sense anyway, he can see what it means in a literal sense. He sighs briefly, leaning forward to kiss Gundham's forehead. "Look, it's really not a problem if you do just wanna stay—"

And that's when he attacks, the kiss has barely planted and Kazuichi has only a few words out before Gundham is upon him, toppling him over onto the mattress and grabbing for his wrists, trying to find some way to restrain and annoy him, "Smart as you are your aposematic colouration has made you soft! Too confident! You don't even realize when it is you that is the hunted!"

Kazuichi yelps, falling back and untangling his legs from around him with small kicks being as much of the struggle he seems to put up. He laughs, unrestrained completely as he gets his bearings. "Ah, yeah, you totally got me there." It's playful and he has no reason to truly fight against it. "Does that mean you're going to eat me?"

"It's either you or me," Gundham shrugs, having wrangled both hands eventually. The wrists are way too much for him to hold down with one hand, but if he got his whole forearm over them, he might be able to pin them.

Kazuichi sighs dramatically. "Well. I've been caught, nothing I can do now. At least tell me I was delicious."

Gundham bites his tongue, thoughtfully, releasing him and sitting up to stare down at him, hands still out claw-like in front of him as if to reassure them both that he's still being playful - or, in fiction, to show that he's still on his guard should his prey begin to fight back. He's not sure what it feels like. He's bottling giggles down like he's a shaken container of soda, but there's something sharp that keeps needling him. It feels sort of like... It's almost arousal, but evidently, it isn't - if it is, it isn't presenting in the normal fashion. It's not affection, though he feels very affectionate. It's not aggression. As often as he feels as though he will be experiencing it from now on. It's a discomfort, a tiny discontent, a little...twinge of a memory, but one that's all in smudges and blurs, in warm and familiar colours. It won't come into focus, but it must not be bad. If it were bad it would hurt to focus on so much, wouldn't it? Even if it refused to materialize? "That's all the fight you've got in you?"

Kazuichi shrugs. No, evidently he can see a few ways he could give himself the upper hand, but he doesn't mind this position. He's more than happy to give this win to Gundham. "Why? Don't feel like you've earned your kill?" He wiggles as if to convince him to come back down. Gundham had said no to wrist grabbing so he doesn't really want to push boundaries too much if it can be helped.

Seeing him wriggle against the bed is something else. That gives him a little rush, but still... "Ambush is only one part of the act. The chase then follows." He wiggles his fingers, exercising his freedom of movement, and sits up so their hips don't touch.

Kazuichi shuffles away until he hits the headboard, pushing himself up just slightly. "And I'd be happy to run, but my eyes don't work too well so I'd be caught so fast."

There's a feeling sort of like relief. It's not, because he hadn't been nervous, but it relaxes him like relief would, loosens him up. He keeps a sharp eye on every one of Kazuichi's movements. "...Surely you have other qualities to make up for it."

He hums, pulling his legs close to cross them. "Yeah." He grins wide at him. "I can start biting if you get too close."

They're standing off now. Gundham leans down like he's going to pounce, wound up, slowly pushing himself into a squat on the bed, giving himself more potential momentum. "A predator of yours would need to either have very thick skin, plenty of hardy tissue, or be able to dispose of you very swiftly, then..."

Kazuichi leans forward to oppose him. "And you're all soft...meaning I'm not your usual food." He places his hands on the bed between them. "So it'd be amazing if your hunt was successful then, huh?"

In, out. Gundham takes very careful stock of his every breath. That feeling comes back, the tension, still eluding him why, but the way his heart thrums in his ears is drowning it out, anyway. He looks toward the door and then at Kazuichi, leans to one side. He's at a disadvantage. He's at a stark disadvantage, but most all predators are. A successful hunt is maybe one in five. On a good night. And he has already used up his luck. "I'm more accustomed to a venomous prey, rather than one equipped to shred and tear."

Kazuichi hums, eventually up on his hands and knees to crawl closer. "I know...so you're taking a bet on what's available to you right now." He's almost close enough to touch if he really wanted to, rather obviously looking him up and down for a moment. "Want me to put up a fight so you can earn this? Or maybe I should...eat you myself."

There's a silence as Gundham tells himself he's thinking it over. He's not - he's just sitting in his own head, quietly, uncritically, and then lets himself speak, "I want you to fight like you want to live." That's arousal. Gundham launches off of his squat at an angle, trying to capture Kazuichi between the headboard and the wall, positioning himself between him and the door and casting his shadow over him to further obscure his vision.

So he does. Kazuichi can't keep his grin down as they tumble. He has to be mindful of the space lest they want to fall to the floor so he grabs Gundham by the very top of his arms and pushes him back. He uses his leg to help roll them over and switch positions. "If I win," he muses, pressing down on Gundham's arms to keep movement limited and pressing his leg into his thigh, "do I get to bite you?"

Gundham swings his own leg out to wrap around Kazuichi's knee, a hand going to the other leg at his side and scrabbling to pry it from him while the other tries to break free to keep the looming maw at bay, and then gives up and goes for the nearer threat instead, the hand on his arm. He wraps his hand around Kazuichi's bicep, too, interlocked, and uses the solid connection to wrench his arm aside, trying to break his grip apart with a growl. "If that is your win condition, I accept. I was going to consider it a win if you escaped with your life."

Kazuichi laughs, a low and excited giggle. "Ah, but then all I'd need to do is run away." And he could. If he really wanted to he could stumble out of the room and bolt it down the hall. The island is big enough that they could be playing hide and seek all night. But it would be so much more fun if they just wrestle until one of them can't fight back. "I think it makes more sense if the winner is the person who can land the kill." Which is to say: whoever bites first wins. Makes sense, he thinks anyway. He squeezes him, sticking his tongue out. "So how do you get out of this one? You're not gonna let me win so fast, are you?"

"As if I would let you..." Gundham may be in a less than prime position, but he is also still between the other and the door. Mostly. Sort of. He uses the arm he still has a hold on and shoves it back into Kazuichi, sending him up, arm's length away. He curls a knee up and puts a foot on Kazuichi's middle, heel against his hip bone, and gives a sharp push. "Off me, fiend!"

Well, Kazuichi is playing at a disadvantage so he can't be too upset with him. He stumbles back with a noise but grabs at Gundham's leg the second he has the chance. While it's not very useful, it shows he's not quite giving up yet. He's trying not to be too rough, it's not a fight after all, so he pulls himself up and grabs his arm again. Now that Gundham's anticipating retaliation, he's harder to move even as they both kneel on the bed. Kazuichi glares at him, and after a second, decides to push him back as much as possible to and at the very least get his feet on the floor. He stands with a wide stance several steps away from the bed, far enough that he's got room to run but close enough that it's obvious he's expecting Gundham to follow.

Shirtless, scarfless, and barefoot, Gundham is thrown onto his feet - he no longer has the door position, and he's very aware of it. And he's extremely ready to follow Kazuichi wherever he goes. He gauges Kazuichi's reaction time as he steps to the side, corralling him away from the hamster cage. Once he gets even a hint of a reaction he bares his teeth and lunges forward.

Kazuichi keeps his stance, the two of them catching each other. Gundham's not completely weak, just out of practice and not doing as much physical activity now as he was when he was constantly wrestling and lifting powerful beasts. He's fairly certain that if it weren't dark and they weren't purely playing, he'd be pinned down with no escape in an instant. He pushes Gundham in such a way that it seems his intention is to shove him to one side but he instead lets go of one side and spins him, wrapping the now free arm around his torso like a seatbelt. Kazuichi grins against his neck, letting him feel his teeth. "Having fun? I know you must be hungry."

Turned against his will, Gundham’s inner ear protests and makes his head and his stomach both lurch. The excitement spikes when warm breath hits his neck. He instinctively moves to raise his arms. They aren't under the command of Kazuichi's grasp. When he asks them to jump up, they do. Hot. It's all still hot, it's all still intriguing. He bends at the knees and ducks very suddenly through the hold Kazuichi has on him, hitting the deck and pulling his hands around the arm still not quite tight around him and pulls him down, trying to toss him over his shoulders and onto the floor. Gundham can feel how there's a bit of panic in Kazuichi's movement, trying his very best to latch himself on to not be moved only to not be fast enough. Kazuichi hits the floor with a thud and he makes a whining noise at the pain that comes with it.

He glares up at him, a frown on his face even as the pain slowly subsides. "Aggressive." It's a tease but there's not even a hint of a smile as he says it.

"You fell less than a meter," Gundham grunts in response, still caught up in the moment - yes, he's keeping himself safe, moving to put a knee onto Kazuichi's shoulder to hold him down, and putting both hands onto his other arm, albeit lightly, pretty confident in the hold of the knee - but he does pay close attention to the facial expression and intonation, brows knit with slight concern.

Kazuichi stares at him for a long moment, reaching up to grab his legs as much as possible. He can't lie...this is all kind of hot. "...you know though." He hums. "You're in a pretty bad position given your end goal is a meal."

...He'd been so focused on keeping himself from being 'eaten' that he'd almost forgotten. It's easy to make up for, though. He leans his weight until he's spread evenly between both of Kazuichi's arms and then leans down until their faces are close - he can't get to his neck, but Kazuichi likely can't get to his, either. They're locked in place for a second, Gundham trying not to pant openly. He's analysing. He needs to be lower. Just a little. He can do it quickly. The longer he waits, the more likely Kazuichi is to be prepared for it, so he panic releases the weight on Kazuichi, leaning back to sit down beside his supine body and go for the throat, hopefully before the newly released arms figure out how to stop him.

Kazuichi grabs his face, and instead of pushing him somehow, he pulls him into a kiss at their awkward angle. It's enough to give himself time to turn his body over, only letting go when he needs to turn his head to push himself up onto his knees again. He's fairly certain he can't overpower him, but this is all so exciting, isn't it. He doesn't want it to really be over but at the same time… "Come on~" he can't help his teasing. He finds he kind of wants to provoke him further. "I can't tell if you're trying to maul me or outrun me." If he was wearing a shirt or scarf, Kazuichi would have grabbed it by now.

Gundham can't help himself. Their lips meet and he moans aloud into him, taking the bait mindlessly, trying to display dominance there, too - trying to lick into him while Kazuichi shuffles. He can't see what's going on, can't predict where he's going, is a little dizzy, suddenly, with the headrush that it gives him. Kazuichi slips out of his grip. He only growls in response, defensive, extremely aware of the cold air of the room on his neck. He can't refute that - he keeps thinking about running. He's not doing it, but he's certainly playing it safe rather than going for any attacks. He runs his tongue over his lips, cogs turning in his head, trying to ignore the fact that he's hard. "Good. Stay confused," he says, finally, lifting himself onto one foot and opening his arms, still taking a defensive stance. 

He's about to begin to circle him when he's startled out of his zone by a series of sharp bangs. "Did we not talk about this less than eight hours ago?!"

Kazuichi freezes, startled as well before groaning. "Oh shut up! We weren't even doing anything, you've just got way too good hearing!" He turns to the door and yells. He thought they were being quiet! Well...maybe just quieter than previously. 

"Whatever! Just keep it in your pants and come have some dinner!" Fuyuhiko yells back. 

Kazuichi pushes out his cheeks, huffing to himself. But it was getting interesting! He was going to be mauled alive! He pushes himself up to kneel, shuffling closer to Gundham to kiss through his mix of embarrassment and annoyance. "...I'm making out with you so hard after dinner."

Gundham doesn't say anything, it will only incriminate them further. As the footsteps leave, he leans into the kiss and takes it carefully, following it up with a nod. "Truce until then." He falls back onto his butt onto the floor and swallows. "...I need a minute." Or a tight pair of underwear, that may also do him some good, but he's not even sure that other than the ones Kazuichi's wearing, there are any in here.

Chapter Text

Shirt, scarf, coat, and socks are all on his list of things to shove himself into before they leave. As harsh as the bedroom light is, it is also much for Gundham easier to locate his clothes like this, and inspect them to make sure they're all fit for wear in public. He makes sure one last time that he's decent before he gives a sharp nod, pulling his scarf tight around the bottom half of his face and jamming his hands into the pockets of his coat before he puts a hand on the door handle and pushes it open. He watches as Kazuichi leaves the bathroom all dressed, mumbling as he walks by. "Your eyes look good dark."

Kazuichi pauses almost immediately, looking back at Gundham. "Y...You really think so?" He finds himself asking, holding onto Gundham's sleeve with three fingers to keep him close by as they walk. No one's ever complimented his normal eyes before. And why would they, most people wouldn't have seen them and they're so standard that most people don't even think about them. So to hear something like that from him so plainly. "I thought you liked it all...unnatural."

Kazuichi's voice has a scratchy edge to it. He's in a state of absolute hyper-arousal, Gundham can feel it, and every single sound grates on him. So he focuses instead on things that feel a little less intense: takes a piece of his scarf between his teeth and chews on it. "It looks just fine either way," he clarifies, "The shape of your eyes is very sharp. Even black they have an undeniable intensity. I think the way you paint yourself would suit them, too."

Kazuichi absolutely can't stop the light blush that paints his face. But...his eyeliner wouldn't look nearly as good with glasses on! Even so, he's flattered in a way he's never been before. It's such a small and specific thing that knowing Gundham thinks about it at all makes him want to squirm. For dinner, he sits himself right next to Gundham, as close to him as possible. He wants to sit in his lap but decides he's been embarrassed enough today and just picks out the vegetables he doesn't like from his bowel and places them into Gundham's. They get looks. They get looks while food is doled out from the volunteers having made each bowl and plate, Hajime and Sonia with eerily similar expressions, although worn in two different fashions. Hiyoko seems like she can't decide between a shit-eating grin and a scowl, and vacillates between them while they settle in, Mahiru has a wide-eyed surprise about her, a scepticism, occasionally sprinkling in a polite 'I'm not staring' glance at someone else. Peko politely stares very pointedly at her food, only taking her eyes off of it to look at her tea instead, Akane hasn't noticed them, but Nekomaru has a stern look on his face that Gundham can't decipher. Mikan is busy complimenting the food and fidgeting, and Fuyuhiko is sat at such an angle that his bad eye is toward them, putting them into his blind spot, mercifully for everyone involved.  It's quieter than he expected, from everyone except Kazuichi, who's got a pea pod extended out toward him, scooted right to the edge of his seat so that he can press his knees against Gundham's outer thigh, only a hair's width away from being stuck directly to his side.

Gundham narrows his eyes at it, and then at Kazuichi, and then snaps suddenly as he takes it from him, suddenly wishing they had cheap disposable chopsticks that he could really dig his teeth into and steal like a dog refusing to give up a toy. A discomfort ripples throughout the room. Luckily, this is exactly the sort of energy that Gundham thrives upon. Kazuichi just grins at him before turning to his own food. He's a little disappointed there's nothing he should be taking from Gundham's but decides it's good that he's got a proper portion this time. There is, in the back of his mind, a sense of unease. He can indeed feel the eyes on him, but it's not a feeling new to him. Even then, all he finds himself truly thinking about is how excited he is to go back to the room so he can start kissing him again. He'd do it now if they weren't busy.

"If you're going back to being nocturnal, does that mean you'll be missing breakfast too?" He asks, quietly given how painfully obvious the feel of the room is. It's the only indication that he's noticed anything at all given that he picks up another pea and tries to feed it to him again. "Or do you think your sleeping pattern will be like today where you sleep a few hours, have breakfast, then sleep until dinner?"

"I will awake before the night, and then fall back into the nether realm past the morning," Gundham waves a hand dismissively, speaking probably a bit too loud, swallows a bite, and leans a little closer, "So even if you decide to depart from my schedule, I will still be able to serve you well."

Hiyoko makes a very pronounced gagging sound and ducks under the table like she's being dragged into the depths by some sort of sea serpent.

"Ah, but I need to line up with you at least a little bit." Kazuichi seems a bit too happy about his wording, staring at him with sparkly eyes. "That way I still get to hold you." He leans against him, bumping his arm before sitting straight again.

"You two appear to be doing well!" Sonia is the first to address them, sliding into the seat across from Gundham and smiling at them. "You were not in for lunch."

Kazuichi hums. If he was short enough to kick his feet, he probably would have. "Hamster-chan wants more time with his hamsters so he's gonna start sleeping all day." He rests his face in his hands, his attention rather briefly on Sonia as he looks up at Gundham again.

"Is that so...?" She tilts her head, slight disappointment in her voice. "Then I shall be sure to greet you at dinners if I will not see you during the day."

"I wouldn't bar you from joining me, yourself," Gundham muses, getting dangerously close to Kazuichi as Sonia slots in and distracts him. He flushes at her comment much more than the rest of the reactions - given that she's known, it feels a little more odd, less like he's showing off and more like he's baring his soul to her. Vulnerable rather than intimidating. It doesn't help that Kazuichi pulls out the Hamster-chan. He's got a mouthful halfway to his face that he sets down immediately in favour of hiding in his scarf to try to slow the spread of the blush. From under the table, Hiyoko gags again. This one sounds real. Mahiru scoots her chair back and ends up joining her down there, starting an impolite back-and-forth with the people on that end of the table. Gundham clears his throat and returns his attention to Sonia, "I will be present for the breaking of dawn and fasts, and I will grace all your presences' with the final shadow of my being before the eye's retreat. These months will be arduous but necessary. If you require any training in the art of melding with shadows, even in the way of brief rendezvous beneath the dark heavens, I would be happy to provide my ancient knowledge that no other possesses."

"But that's our thing..." There's a small whine in Kazuichi's voice, taking Gundham's hand in both his own and leaning towards him. 

"No, I do not need to do anything like that, I am happy to see you whenever I see you." Sonia just smiles as she observes them, leaning just a little closer to Gundham across the table. "But how are you? Has today been well?"

"Ah. Y-Yes? Well," Gundham seems a little flustered at the peppering of questions, something that's normally quite difficult to do, "I'm still in the midst of converting my energy, as I have been all day... It has been uneventful, otherwise." Surely something that may come as a shock, but it's not completely untrue. Time spent since the sun's arrival this morning has been almost completely non-spectacular, except for - "Comfortable."

Kazuichi hums in agreement, dangerously close to his ear before pulling back to continue eating. "And now you're gonna stay up all night taking care of your soldiers." He says as he picks up his bowl. "As long as you're still eating at least twice a day, it's not really a problem."

Sonia nods, her gentle smile growing wider. "Wonderful! Everything is well then!" She clasps her hands together. She's trying not to seem like she's beaming. "It is amazing to see you two so close."

"Ahh, you really think we're close?" He says that casually, but with how his eyes shine and he leans a bit closer, he's just as happy to hear it as she is to say it.

"Way too close..." He can hear Fuyuhiko say too loud to really be a mumble, the guy still keeping his eye on his own food.

Gundham is red from the very crown of his head down to what feels like about his mid-back, under his ribcage. Everything is too much, especially when Sonia is narrating. Curse her for being the only creature capable of making him so embarrassed. From under the table, Mahiru drags Hiyoko back into her seat, the latter staying low as if suddenly everyone will forget how tall she is and instead believe that she's just too small to see over the table properly as she gathers intel, eyes narrowed and her bowl pushed aside. Gundham swallows with difficulty and rubs his clammy palm on his sweatpants before he even begins to think about eating again. ...This tuna isn't very good. Not enough to distract him, anyway. It would be nice if Kazuichi didn't also need fuel, or he'd be reaching for him to save him.

"You need a little sunlight and lunch," Nekomaru ventures, apparently trying to seem calm despite the fact that he's stabbing the air as he jabs in Gundham's direction, "Make sure someone prepares you a healthy meal for midnight."

"Wait, no Tanaka at lunches, for realsies?" Akane finally perks up, looking around as she gets her bearings, "What? ...Woah! Sonia, let up, you're boiling him alive like a lobster!"

"I'll take care of you!" Kazuichi is clasping his hands now too as he looks at Gundham. "I'll make sure you've got food you can eat in the middle of the night!" 

"...you sure did change your tune fast." Mahiru interjects, Hiyoko giving her a look like that's what she'd wanted to say. "Didn't you say you weren't—"

"Are you stalking him for real now?" Hiyoko lays her head on the table as she looks at them, a false innocence in her expression.

"It's not stalking." Kazuichi frowns, though only briefly. "Gundham just...said the hottest thing I've ever heard in my life. I wish I'd recorded it so I could keep it forever...I should put a microphone into a pen..."

"...Yeah, that sounds like stalking."

It's way easier to deal with when it's Kazuichi doing it - some of the total shock drains out of Gundham's tense body and he raises a shoulder, turns his nose up, and flourishes with one hand, "I am not without my provisions. See? My thrall would never allow such a thing were it within his power." He likes being paid attention to, truly, he does. Especially when people seem to be actually listening, hanging on his words for their gossip fulfilment. "I'm curious what I said that made it to the very top of your list."

"Well, calling me your thrall is quickly making it's way up." He giggles as he leans closer to him again, putting one hand on his thigh. "Would you say it again? So I can remember it properly?"

"Ew! Oh my god, you two are so gross!" Hiyoko suddenly pushes herself up, walking around to sit a little further away from them. Apparently not so grossed out that she doesn't want to stay. "You were horny before, but now you're actually somebody's dog!" Which is to say 'Gundham please don't enable him'. Though...with the way she said it, it only makes Kazuichi's eyes grow wide as if silently asking for that exact thing to be true in some way.

Gundham grunts in frustration and calls over the table, "A foolish comparison to draw! The relations held between two celestial bodies are ones that should not be mixed with the likes of the demons of below, even if their power levels are net similar! Besides, even in that case, you would have nothing to fear, as he would be under my command." As if his dogs haven't caused plenty of people plenty of trouble.

"Wouldn't you?"

"Oookay, okay! Everyone's...really excited. It's nice to see that everyone's getting along with each other and everything, so let's..." Hajime starts to interject but loses his steam in mediating, making an annoyed grunt, "Can we all shut up and eat, please?"

Kazuichi's grip on his thigh tightens for a moment, letting out an excited sigh before finally pulling away. Yes, is apparently his answer, pulling his bowl closer to continue eating. Fuyuhiko is the first to leave, followed by Mahiru and Hiyoko. At some point Sonia slinks off to talk to Mikan, leaving just the two of them there when Kazuichi is done.

"Can we go back now?" All his attention is back on Gundham as soon as the universe allows. "I'm all done."

"Hm? Yes," Happily - his large pockets are now home to plenty of dried vegetables, shreds of fish, and chunks of rice. He takes the bottle of water he hadn't finished, too, before he starts gathering his dishes. The room is empty, technically, though there are still plenty of residents milling around in the adjacent ones. No matter. "To my room?"

"Well, yeah," Kazuichi stands up with his own dishes. "My bed doesn't smell like you and we gotta be there for your friends to wake up..." He barely even rinses his dishes before grabbing Gundham and dragging down the hall back to the room. He pulls him through the door by his scarf, not even bothering to look for the light switch before planting a kiss on his lips. He'd wanted to do it much earlier but he can't imagine it going over well if he just starts making out with the guy in the middle of the dining room. Maybe he'd get away with it if he was drunk…

Gundham gives a little hum of a noise of surprise and kisses him back, drawing a sharp breath in through his nose. Back at a slight advantage, he reaches for Kazuichi's face in the dark, leaning against the door as it clicks shut behind him. Kazuichi hums against him too, letting his hands trail down to hold either side of his coat. Gundham tastes of tuna and broccoli, but he can't find it in himself to care as he's held there gently. "Told you we were making out after dinner." He mumbles against him as he nips at his bottom lip. "Why can't it be socially acceptable for me to have my tongue down your throat whenever I want?"

He may be reminded in many ways now that he's not a teenager anymore, but how quickly that warm breath on his lips and soft voice in his mouth gathers his body's interest is not one of them. He wasn't a horny young person, he never understood it. He's starting to, though. Cupping a jaw in each of his hands, Gundham gives a slow kiss to Kazuichi's upper lip and then tilts his head to trail his mouth down. He uses his thumbs under Kazuichi's chin to tilt his head back, "You worry too much." That's something he's thought many, many times, but definitely not about how he treats sexual behaviour in public.

Kazuichi hums, trying to keep himself quiet given their proximity to the door. "I know that," not that he sees how that comment is relevant to the conversation. Unless of course Gundham wants him to start doing that. He's not opposed to the idea. He shivers, reaching one hand up to move his hair out of the way. "But I wanna kiss you more than I already do...I like you knowing how much I like you every second."

With the space made for him, Gundham moves in and breathes out against his throat as he hunches down. The older mark on Kazuichi is starting to turn red and fade. "I like seeing you unafraid to show it, that you're mine. I'm yours." He opens his mouth against the neck under him and pulls his tongue over it, softens the spot and bares his teeth with a hiss before he gives a gentle bite under his ear.

Kazuichi leans into the touch and hold, a satisfied noise escaping him. He's starting to think he's got a sensitive neck... "I wouldn't mind if you said that in public." He holds him tighter. He'd pull him closer if there was room to do so. "I wouldn't mind if being yours was the most obvious thing in the world..."

Gundham massages the spot between his teeth and sucks with another hiss of breath, "And stretch the benevolence of our council even thinner? Mmm...I would risk that for you," he says, and then almost immediately contradicts himself, "...our wardens return soon."

"So what? Just means you gotta have as much fun with me as possible before then~" feeling loved and enabled isn't the greatest thing for the part of Kazuichi that expresses that love back (or more so the people around him) but he clearly cares much less about that in the moment now than he used to.

"You think we can?" He's not so sure, but he does know that he can get something out of it. They may not be able to formally finish, but... One hand still holding Kazuichi's head back and the other going down to grab at his hip and pull his body close, Gundham groans softly, searching for his voice box to feel, to suck on. To scrape his teeth lightly over, and then mumble, "You lose, by the way."

The sound Kazuichi makes is halfway between a pleasured sigh and a laugh, letting his fingers hold onto his hair. "I let my guard down. Make me a good meal. Tell me my flesh and blood taste good." He presses his lower body against him, holding his head in such a way that encourages the way he's letting his kisses trail.

…Fuck it. Gundham jams himself into Kazuichi, using him as something to rut against to draw himself to hardness, using the hand on his hip to guide him into a position that makes him easier to use while he chews on exposed skin. "Only if you do. Only if you're good for me."

Kazuichi absolutely shivers, clawing at the back of his head as he presses a hand to his mouth to prevent himself from getting overzealous with his noise. "Mhhm...!" Is the strained response he gets, letting his hips follow Gundham's rhythm. "Y-Yeah, I'll be really super good."

Their voices may be being kept down quite well this time around - even Gundham knows better than to say anything too loudly, only hums a long and low affirmative for now - but there is a low shuffling, a creak-click noise that the door makes repeatedly as the two of them rock back and forth into each other. His whisper can barely be heard over it. "So quickly you fall back under my spell."

Kazuichi bites his lip. He wants to pull Gundham away from the door at least, perhaps be dragged to the bed, but he's focusing too much on keeping his reactions tame to even try. "It's so inviting~" he may be a ruler of ice, but his 'spell' is so warm he would've never thought it was coming from him. "Can I stay here forever? Under your spell?"

"Oh, beloved," Gundham moans, the tone and the words making him buckle, "if only it were so easy. I'd keep you locked up. Held in my prison. But it's not, c-call it..." His breath hitches as a series of flicks of his hips stroke him just perfectly, even through all of the clothing, and makes his brain hard reboot - yes, this line of thought feels good - "weakness, or perhaps only f-fortune, but I...you...are also a mire..."

He moans right back, his hand dipping down the top of his shirt to claw at his back. "I'd let you~" and at the very least, in this moment, he completely means it. "Lock me up...m-make me all yours...I-I'd even serve you, please I feel too good..!"

Gundham speeds up, desperation taking him over completely. Maybe if he just keeps rutting, just keeps hearing Kazuichi speak, he'll be able to get there. The door creaks. He switches to long, crescent-shaped drags, pulls his full erection over as much of Kazuichi's warm lower body as he can with an effortful grunt. This time they get exactly one strike against the door as their warning - one that makes such a crack that it sounds like it might have broken something somewhere. Gundham's ears ring for a second before he properly reacts to what is most certainly a very well placed kick.

"Khh- what?!"

"Get! Out! Leave!" Fuyuhiko sounds like he's about to have a panic attack, accenting each word with another smaller kick. "Everyone in this stupid bunker is all on edge about seeing someone's cock on accident, can you quit ruining the night, please? Didn't you just get done bragging that you can come and go whenever the hell you want?!"

"Rui-Ruin comes from your lips, little demon! Our height from which to fall is much greater than yours!"

"Good! Whatever that means, it sounds fucking painful! Fall more, or whatever!" There's a pause as they all catch their breaths. Fuyuhiko breaks the short silence, "Listen. I'm sure it's...ugh. I'm sure it's difficult. I'm not...I'm seriously not trying to be a huge buzzkill. I'll listen to you throw up every thirty minutes all night, Tanaka, because I know you'd quit if you could. This, though, is just…I want us to be able to look each other in the eye tomorrow morning, okay?! Is that so much to ask?!"

The only noise Kazuichi makes is a small whimper into Gundham's ear, holding onto him tighter and pressing his face into his shoulder. There is a shame inside him. He knew damn well they weren't getting away with anything staying here, but still. He should still be able to have this. He doesn't want to stop, he doesn't want Gundham to make him stop, but he's fairly certain he has to. He almost pulls back but the very idea makes him frown. He has to. At the very least to let Gundham move away from the door, but the way his hips keep moving without even thinking makes it so hard. "...want me to let go?" Kazuichi whispers, asking. Maybe it would be easier if it was a request.

"...Yes, s-stop," Gundham loosens his grip on Kazuichi and then lifts his hands from him. He's fucking hypnotizing, though, and any of the concern Gundham may have had about the their actions is replaced by burning.

"...I want to be able to congratulate you and everything. Don't take it away from me." Fuyuhiko continues, and Gundham swallows and shakes out his hands.

"...Where do you want to go?" He asks Kazuichi quietly.

"I don't know..." He's in no position to really be thinking. He lets their fingers lace together, squeezing his hand. He hears Fuyuhiko, he certainly does, but he's not sure he's really processing anything the way he should. "If...not bed...then outside? Maybe? I don't know, I-I'm sorry..."

"It's fine," Gundham makes an attempt to reassure him, but his head is also foggy. "...It'll be inside somewhere," he mutters, because even though this is a tropical island, the nights aren't quite warm enough for him to think about being out in the wind with his junk out. No way. "Flee, then, coward! Go to your quarters and your... wise behaviour will be rewarded." He really seems to have changed his tune halfway through. 

They can hear Fuyuhiko mumble something not quite loud enough to be heard through the door, and the second it seems like he's gone, Kazuichi's face is in Gundham's neck. "My room...? O-Or is that too close?" He can't really think of anything private and far enough away that nobody would be disturbed. There's probably an empty room somewhere (he's never gone through every door in this facility), but he really wouldn't know what would be best. "I don't wanna have to come back here..."

"...There aren't any fiends currently inhabiting the upper floor of the communications centre. And the office we stumbled upon had a sofa." He doesn't want to say it, but he also wouldn't mind winding down with Minesweeper after. It's already a bold choice. "I don't know if you would be able to sleep there."

"I can sleep anywhere." He assures him, kissing his jaw a few times before finally pulling away. If they bring a blanket at least, he should be fine. "That should work...as long as you're okay with it." Kazuichi stretches, trying to sound normal and not absolutely desperate. "...you should get your soldiers then."

"They'll enjoy the new territory to explore, so long as I can make sure they're kept nearby..." Gundham mutters, fidgeting a little, "I'll retrieve them." He stares for a second and then averts his eyes, patting Kazuichi on the shoulder and rubbing the back of his neck affectionately before he goes for the hamster cage. None of them need encouragement to come jump up onto him, but he gives them little snacks anyway as rewards.

Kazuichi takes a deep breath. It's not nearly enough. He wants to drown in the affection, but he can't. He heads to the bathroom to get the contact case before beginning to fold the blanket pre-emptively. "Can I bring this?" He holds up the blanket. "Or would you force me to bring my own?"

One, two, three, four - Gundham takes inventory of everyone and starts to pull on his boots. "...Of course? If you'd like to carry it, you can take it. My belongings are yours." He gives that a second's thought and then decides that sure, yes, that's true, He has no issues with that. Food, contact solution, blankets, beds, clothes, whatever. He straightens out and stares through the dark, blinks. "...Anything you'd like...me to bring?"

Kazuichi hums, folding the blanket over his arms. "Your handsome face?" He kisses his cheek the second they're close enough, sticking to his side. "If you're all set, then I am. As long as you promise to kiss me goodnight."

"Aren't you sweet," Gundham mutters and opens his hand to him, "you..." He has something he feels, but he's not sure what it is, so he lets it die on his tongue - peeks out into the hallway and sees Hajime and Nekomaru at one end - it's the opposite end of the one they're leaving through, though, so he tugs Kazuichi out into it anyway and hurries him along so they're not stopped on their way to the stairs. "Try not to concern yourself too much, alright? We will have our own space soon, yes? Once everyone has been revived."

Kazuichi swoons at the idea, leaning against him as they walk. "Something more private..." Sure, it'll take a few more months (he assumes) and even longer before they have a proper personal place but...oh the thought sounds wonderful. "I love you." It's the most honest thing he can say to him. Kazuichi finds himself looking at him with adoration every time, wanting to just hold him and kiss him and be with him. He's not even sure what about him is so appealing, if not everything.

"Right," Gundham nods, finding that he can't not also peek down whenever Kazuichi looks up at him - it distracts him a little, but -... But he's still in the early hours of his awakening. He's happy to use it fiddling around - especially when Kazuichi is being sweet and attractive and... "I love you. I love you, my guide, I love you," he leans down and pecks him on the forehead, "Until then, we have room to play out here, don't we?"

He laughs, swinging their arms slightly. "Yeah, for now. I'd totally clean up some place just for us so we don't have to bother anyone." If they're going to be interrupted the second he thinks about kissing him, he can't see himself having much fun. It's not quite twilight when they step outside. The ocean breeze is warm compared to the temperature inside but they're not going to be outside too long. As long as the room isn't too musty and dust can be easily cleaned, it should be fine. 

Chapter Text

"So do I get more kisses when we're settled or is the mood gone?"

"...There is an extremely easy way for you to tell right this moment if the mood is alive and well," Gundham says with a shrug, squeezing Kazuichi's hand. "If you were brave enough."

Kazuichi grins at him. "Awh, but my hands are full~" he squeezes his hand back as if to make an example of it. "And you're all dressed up so you're so covered up. Trust me, if I could grab your dick right now, I would."

Gundham shrugs dismissively and leans away from him, giving him a playful tug to pull him back as they round the building. "Fine. Fine, like I would allow it, anyway," he teases, "you, with your rough hands..." The power in the communications building still seems to be working, too, given that they had a light to work by last time, and as they approach, there's a low hum about the tower - honestly, he's starting to think they couldn't have picked a better place. He'd be a bit concerned about what storms this place has seen but...it seems sturdy and far enough away to be mostly undamaged by the same weathering some of the buildings closer to the water have suffered.

"Don't you like my rough hands?" Kazuichi pouts at him playfully. "I know you're into at least a little danger down there~" he grins and pokes his tongue out at him. He allows himself to be dragged into the building, Gundham guiding the way. "We're hanging out here with all the wires we shouldn't touch?"

"I never told you not to touch them, you came up with these rules on your own. In fact, if it were up to me, you would be finding whatever pleasure you liked within the metal casing of this electric behemoth." Gundham says, pointedly walking around the one corner of the big office room on the ground floor that smells all moldy, holding their hands high above the two of them so they can fit on the stairway side by side. Much less moldy up here. More stuffy, but they can open a window or two, right? It mostly just smells kind of stale. 

"You'd let me do that?" Kazuichi drops the blanket on the floor the moment he can and clings to Gundham's arm. "You're so nice to me! But I am legitimately worried jiggling the wrong wire might fuck with something so..." He sighs, laying his head on his shoulder. "Another day." He kisses his cheek briefly before sitting down on the blanket with his legs crossed, looking up at him like he's waiting for him to join. "You're not worried about the little guys hanging out in this place?"

"I told you we were making a pact, and the agreement within it is that we follow our passions…" Kazuichi's waiting for a little while - that is exactly what Gundham is attempting to figure out. He moves furniture out of his way to give them a little more room, shuts the door, and starts his search. He follows the wall on his hands and knees, making sure the moulding is solid and the wall itself has no holes. He makes sure there's nothing to climb near the window that he cracks open, although he's not very afraid of the hamsters getting out through there - at least half of them know better than to jump when they can't see the floor below, and the other half hate the cold enough to stay away from the window entirely. "Not especially. If there were rodents of another ilk that could spread to them disease, then perhaps," he shrugs, checking behind and under furniture for damage, poison, et cetera. "They're explorers, though. I'll simply try to restrict them to exploring this room and no others until they can also be inspected. Just make sure you don't step or roll over onto anyone, alright?"

"I know, you'll kill me if I do. I'll be as careful as I can be awake, but I will not be held liable if anything happens after I'm unconscious." Kazuichi reaches out to him with grabby hands, wrapping himself around Gundham when the man finally relents and sits beside him. "This is kinda exciting." He's just about ready to crawl into his lap but decides to give him a little more space than that if he desires to extract his hamsters from his person beforehand. "It's almost like camping except in some abandoned building."

Gundham starts patting himself down, searching folds and pockets for furry little beasts to pull out and set free. He still has snacks, too, and they know it, milling around nearby the two of them, always within sightline, just in case Gundham decides he wants to give out treats (the moment his coat is off, it will be ransacked but for now he still has the power). Hamster-free, he finally lets himself relax down onto his bottom instead of sitting up on his knees. "Did you camp often?" Sure, he was looking forward to getting a little rough again, but his curiosity is getting the better of him - besides, that is sort of what Gundham had always thought while they were out in the city together.

Kazuichi scoffs, being mindful of the little creatures milling about before finally climbing up and wrapping his legs around Gundham. "Nope. Aside from school stuff. Camping is an expensive and time consuming hobby." Besides, he's not really the outdoorsy type. He doesn't mind sports and the like, but days in the wilderness? "You seem like a camping guy." He shoves his face into his neck, not quite the same as the heated make out from earlier, but still kissing. Still nuzzling and nipping as they settle into each other's presence.

"We lived in the mountains. If I wanted to 'camp', I could go out into the backyard," he mutters. Honestly, he spent...a lot of time outside, regardless of the weather, back in the day. "Which I did. Often. I had a pack to protect and warm me then." He really doesn't want to talk about his mom's dogs while Kazuichi's warm body is on top of him. He tugs on his scarf to make an attempt to pull it loose for him to get a bit more room.

"Yeah, see? Camping guys live in areas like that." Kazuichi drags his teeth over his skin. It'd probably be okay if he left more marks now that they're not really on the down-low about things, right? "Man, I can't believe it took me so long to realise how hot you are." He pulls back reluctantly, pressing their foreheads together. "Strong guy, hangs out in woods, commanding...I should've been all over you sooner."

"I was under the impression you weren't interested in men," Gundham shrugs, shivering, speaking maybe a little too truthfully, "...despite all evidence to the contrary." Like...everything. He smiles, though, and puts hands on Kazuichi's sides, pulling them up to under his arms until he's holding each shoulder, a position where he can gently position the other’s upper body how he likes.

"Maybe wanting to get railed by a piece of military equipment shoulda clued me in."

"Disinterest in me was quite a sign in the opposite direction, to be fair.  When I take the form most beautiful to the beloved I seek, naught short of their own power rivalling my own can keep them from desiring me." Which he...certainly got. He definitely, definitely, definitely got it. He certainly had felt no lack of being desired there for a little while.

"You're so hot though." Kazuichi very pointedly decides not to interact with the whole attraction topic longer than he has to. There were plenty of factors that went into his disinterest in Gundham he doesn't want to get into...they should just be happy they have this now instead of never. "Like it's unfair how hot you are. I'm sorry I kissed you the second I could but fuck. I'm trying not to be weird about it but I..."

"I wanted you to," he says, quietly. And he means it, he really does, "I was looking forward to feeling your touch again. I liked what we had going. I wanted to...continue."

"Good...I could have that forever." He lets his hands trail up to hold Gundham's cheeks. "One day we'll have a house and you'll be able to fuck me against the front door with no complaints~ that'll be fun!"

Gundham gasps - not at the touch, but the words. That fuzzy feeling comes back, and this time, he's sure it must be some kind of arousal, even though he can feel himself flag a little. Not enough to soften, but enough that the raging hard-on he'd been trying not to pay attention to stops throbbing like crazy. But he still has it, and there's still a feeling in his chest that encourages him forward. "I'd like that," he mumbles, his grip tightening, "I'd like to take you whenever I want." He moves in to kiss him, soft at first, but quickly finding his favourite spot to suck on.

Kazuichi is more than happy to sigh out a moan, hands trailing back to grab onto his hair. "Yeah?" Oh how wonderful that sounds. They've been pretty even on initiating things so far so he can't really say he knows how sexual of a person Gundham really is, but the idea of being at the mercy of someone's desires...he can't say he isn't absolutely thrilled by it. "I'd like that too." He hums, pulling himself forward to press their chests together as much as possible. "Be able to kiss you anywhere and everywhere...let you mark me whenever...that'd be so good~"

Gundham's breath hitches again as their bodies meet. He begins to readjust his sitting position, untangling his legs, lifting Kazuichi with ease before setting him back down into his lap once he's comfortable. "You've infected me with something," he mumbles, "because that sounds..." he purses his lips, flushing at the images that flicker behind his eyes, "...bend you over whatever I like. Bite. Bite... " he gives a groan and lifts his hips a little, experimentally, just to see where it is he's rutting, "I miss hearing you loud. "

"Oh, fuck, you'd bend me?" Kazuichi moans. The fact that it seems so plausible to be a reality someday makes it all sound so much better. Their position doesn't allow them to be grinding perfectly against each other like earlier, but that doesn't stop him from rolling against him with a shiver. "I'll be loud, I love being loud." Because being so vocal in a way makes him feel more excited and he doesn't have to waste brain power thinking about biting himself back. "I promised I'd be good for you tonight, right?"

"I want to see you ready for me. I want to hear you wanting me." There it is, he's back, and he's strong, and Kazuichi is, now, too. It makes his head spin. He leans back, propping himself on an elbow first and then finally pulling Kazuichi all the way down with him as he reclines onto his back, "You did. And you were doing a good job to begin with, you know this, yes? That you had me in your grasp? That I didn't want to let you go?"

Kazuichi feels his heart flutter and his nerves tingle. How is it he knows just what to say? How is it that he's so terribly wonderful at everything? "Yeah. Cause you were biting me and holding me and saying such good things..." He'd like it if they could have something like that every time, where it's hard to pull away and they're just praying it doesn't end. "I really want you to devour me. Since you did win and all..."

"Good, you think? Hmm...?" That makes him smile while he trails both hands over his sides once again - over his back, pressing, prodding, just...making himself familiar with the body above him. It's through clothes, but he can still try to map it. "You put up a good fight until the end."

"I really did want to win..." Kazuichi kisses his cheek and trails down to his jaw. "But you caught me when I thought I was safe...like a skilled hunter."

"I expect you to find this experience enlightening," Gundham pulls in a deep breath and tilts his head, slipping his eyes closed for a second while he relaxes, "a show of what terror can befall you if you fail to stay at the very top of your performance..." He drags the hands that are now near Kazuichi's hips down further, to the outsides of his thighs, pulling his palms up over his ass. A place he's let himself feel over a couple of times, but never to knead experimentally like this.

Kazuichi hums against his neck, a warm and pleasured noise, letting his arms fall to hold onto the back of his jacket instead. "Y...Yeah...terror..." Definitely doesn't seem like anything terrible or terrifying. "Then...I-I'll do better next time."

Gundham's head continues to loll as he keeps his breath steady and even, enjoying the waves of heat that all the groping and low chatter is providing him. He ventures a little rougher with his hands, squeezing tighter, lifting his hips slightly with each movement, very quickly falling into a repetition that he could easily keep up all night if he were so encouraged to. "You're too sweet for your own good, my prey," he hums, his voice teetering on lifting a few tones, shaking a little under his lips - lips that are doing too little for his tastes, "kiss me, love me, bite me, take me?"

Kazuichi pulls on his jacket, opening his mouth to properly bite down. He sucks a while, humming against his skin before pulling away. "Oh, I love you." He assures him. "And I'd bite you forever ...take you however you want." He licks over the bite marks, pulling his hands to Gundham's front to press his palms to his chest.

"Mm," Gundham's hips twitch a little and he gives a short noise of surprise and excitement. He lets go of him long enough to open his arms and pull his shoulders forward enough to encourage the other to start wiggling out of it.

Kazuichi pushes himself up onto his knees, pulling off his own shirt first. "I'll try not to puncture anything." He says before grabbing either side of Gundham's coat, pulling it off his shoulders and shoving his hands up his shirt.

Gundham makes a short noise of amusement - he's not sure why he makes it, nothing is especially funny - there's a moment where his wrists stick in the ends of his sleeves while Kazuichi touches his stomach and his hurried movements catch on the fabric. It sends a cold spike of adrenaline up his spine, but he frees himself quickly. The sweat wave that broke out over him fades away as he pulls his hands up over Kazuichi's shoulders. He cups the back of the other's bare neck. The rough hands make his skin sting and his dick jump in excitement, his hips rolling dramatically with a low grunt of effort. He looks the torso over him up and down. He forgot how wiry Kazuichi's arms and chest can look, with his hands out in front of him, pushing all of the stringy muscles in his neck and chest together… "Handsome little shark..."

Kazuichi grins at him, leaning down to kiss the centre of his chest. "Glad you think so~" he pushes him down onto his back, dragging his teeth along his ribs the second he's comfortable enough to do so. This is such a wonderful mix of everything Kazuichi loves and he can actually see Gundham's reactions. He couldn't ask for something more perfect. "I wanna mark you everywhere I can bite," he hums as he litters his chest with kisses. "Unless...you don't want to be marked by tonight's prey."

Gundham's breath speeds up a little as his back hits the floor with a light thunk . That fuzzy-arousal throbs through him again. Breathlessness. It steals the very essence of him away. He shuts his eyes tightly, overwhelmed by the thought. Overwhelmed by the sensations. "And have you just give in? Unthinkable. Did I not say I wanted you to struggle for me? Did you not hear that I wanted to- t-to conquer the powerful buck, drag him down with my...teeth and claws? Bear the wounds of his fight for survival?"

"Oh, yeah?" Kazuichi pushes his legs between Gundham's, slotting himself comfortably against him before beginning to roll his hips. "And then what? You'll overpower me at the last second where I then become yours?" He pulls himself back up, holding onto his shoulders tight and leaning into his ear. "So you should be fighting me, too~"

Something cold settles into Gundham's stomach, but runs hot all the way through his body, all through his hips, right into the bulge he can feel rutting against his own. This is alright. This is alright, because Gundham's already won. That edge in Kazuichi's voice strikes - strikes - strikes something in him, but he knows that it can't hurt him. He is not the beaten or bested in this arena now. It is scripted, already written. He will win. And he will be the one victorious, pleasuring himself over Kazuichi's bruised and tied body. Acting with what he feels is equal aggression, Gundham growls and grabs at the other's chest and thumbs over a nipple with one hand and takes sharp hold of a hip with the other, trying to take the lead in the speed and fashion which their bodies move against each other, moving to try to tuck his mouth under Kazuichi's ear in retaliation. And Kazuichi lets himself moan as loud as he pleases, encouraging him and meeting his movement with his own. There's a bit of a fight in where their heads should go until their faces meet and Kazuichi leans in to bite his lip, earning another deep growl. He wants both of them to leave with swollen lips at least, the stingy sensation leaving a lingering desire to soothe it with more is something he misses in the back of his mind. 

He licks Gundham's mouth, not quite asking entry but more so showing interest his hands don't exactly convey. "I like when you growl at me~" he grins with his confession, his expression pure adoration. "Makes you seem...powerful...maybe dangerous...it's sexy~"

The smile has something in it that Gundham doesn't recognize. He pulls back to examine in and finds that he still can't figure it out, even as he lies there with his mouth open and cold from the drying lathe of Kazuichi's tongue over it. It doesn't matter. His heart is beating like crazy, making every one of his movements instinctual and jerky. He doesn't have to understand it. He makes another noise, not quite able to form words, and curls his fingers until his nails are dragging over Kazuichi's side and chest, putting pink pits into his skin as he tries to lean back up, meeting the pressure on his shoulders with a surprising amount of strength for 'play'. He wants this, he wants to be in control, and meeting resistance is just making him crave it more.

Kazuichi shivers, letting his hands cup Gundham's face as he pushes his tongue past his lips. Even there there's a fight unlike normal and makes his spine crawl. How strange it all is. His brain feels like it's melting away with each roll of their hips. He wants this and so much more. Hearing Gundham be so...standoffish in a way, having him be a bit rough and so obviously want to take the lead makes something inside him swirl. The fact that he wants Kazuichi to put up a fight and lose… He pushes his legs up, breaking their delicious contact. He can feel himself twitch with the sudden loss, but he's more than willing to hold off for now. Their kiss breaks, they pant and stare about one another for a few seconds. Kazuichi drags his hand over Gundham's chest, pinching his nipple as he moves lower until his fingers dance at the hem of his pants. And then he buries his face into his neck, biting with the clear intent of leaving evidence as his hand moves to his thigh, groping and massaging it and getting close to his dick but not actually touching.

Gundham's hand comes off of Kazuichi's hip to grab his wrist as he gasps at the sudden dull pain - he gives a low grunt and opens himself up for the next attack, chin tilting back. His knees bend, resting them on either side of Kazuichi's hips and squeezes, holding him still with them. "Fuck," he curses in a hiss, the muscles in his legs tightening hard under the grabbing hand. He lifts his hips into it, forcing his knuckles to brush him. "Fuck me…"

Kazuichi groans against his neck, pulling back eventually and breathing hot against his ear. "That's not a request, is it?" He coos, nipping at his earlobe. "Because you know I would~ Fuck you...make love to you..." But that's not the end point they were hoping for, was it? "If you want anything more..." He nips at his jaw, trailing back down, letting his hand touch as much of Gundham's tent as his grip allows. "You have to let go of me...or take it yourself~"

" No ," Gundham rumbles forcefully as he ruts himself into the other’s hand. His sweatpants are rough, worse than Kazuichi's calluses. He squeezes his hips with his knees until his legs shudder with effort. It has to hurt a little, at least. The encouragement has him pushing against Kazuichi's weight, trying to turn them over with a twist of his hips.

Kazuichi takes one last bite at him before letting himself be rolled over. He reaches out to hold Gundham's cheek, grinning up at him. "You're so warm~" and such a beautiful shade of pink. "And look at you...such a serious look...I wanna keep kissing you..."

With Gundham on top, he kneels over him. He sits up with his back straight, both hands now in the middle of Kazuichi's chest, his wrists together and his fingers spread over his skin. He furrows his brows, eyes dark, and leans on him, presses. He's not sure what it is he's doing exactly, but he feels like he needs to execute some sort of power. He's thinking about doing...something with Kazuichi's throat. He's staring at it. He's not sure he wants to use his hands. He's not sure what it is he wants to do with his position. If it was the other way around…

Kazuichi stares at him for a moment. He looks so gorgeous, he does, and he's not sure he really wants to stop him from doing whatever comes to mind. He just can't tell what's behind his eyes anymore. He whimpers slightly with the pressure, letting his hand fall down to rub his arm. "Gundham..." He's not quite at the stopping level yet, but his voice does grow an edge of gentleness. "What do you want?"

Gundham bristles. If it was the other way around, Kazuichi wouldn't be hesitating. His arm moves, pressing the spot between his thumb and forefinger to Kazuichi's voice box. One fingertip finds one vein. The others find the others on the other side, but he doesn't press, just sweats, quietly. What does he want? He thinks about it - or, rather, he does the thing where he tries to think about it, but his head won't populate with any thoughts, no matter how much he searches.

There's silence between them for a while. "...just do what feels right." Kazuichi assures him, letting his arm fall to his side. "You can be gentle if that's what you want. I'm okay - just have fun."

A swallow bobs under Gundham's hand. It makes him throb. Is this what it was like? Is this why? Why Kazuichi would curdle when he stopped fighting? Why he'd needle him to try to get him to start squirming again? Gundham presses a little harder. Not enough to silence him, but enough to start restricting blood flow. Slowly. 

Kazuichi lets out a shaky moan, his lips trembling with the pressure. It's hardly anything but...oh how good it feels. He'd forgotten what it was like. " Fuck... " He reaches for Gundham's thighs and grabs at them. It's a little unsettling how quiet he's being, but he'll take it. "Rough it is...!"

The chipper tone makes something prickle on the back of Gundham's neck. He squeezes a little harder, experimentally. It felt like it took a very long time when it was him - for things to start going fuzzy, for things to start feeling faint, so he has time to play with him. "You think you can hurt me that way? You just make me hungry."

Kazuichi whimpers, happily, dragging his nails down his thighs. "Hungry? You've been holding off from devouring me for a while..." He tugs on his shirt in a vain attempt to pull him closer. "Leaving yourself open to get claws in your face."

"That's what it is, isn't it?" He hums, only half listening, "Human cruelty, a kind of hunger only they from the surface have inborn..." He feels almost sick with how hard his stomach is twisting, but he's still hard. Because of course he is. Because it's hot. Because he wants to see it through. "You wouldn't try it, you've given up," he doesn't mind if the shirt is stretched, he fights against the pull as hard as he can. He'd rather it be torn off his body than be tugged down. He can feel Kazuichi's skin gathering under his fingernails. 

The breath becomes heavier, one hand grabbing Gundham's upper arm and the other grabbing his neck (though not nearly as hard). "You don't know that." But Kazuichi’s not even trying to push, his hips squirming beneath him and making it so obvious he's enjoying it all.

The heel of Gundham's palm presses onto his windpipe as he balances blood and breath, lifting fingers here and there. It's like playing an instrument, all the way down to getting Kazuichi to make the noises he likes. Gundham holds his hips tight again, drops his pelvis, finds a spot to slot himself and hump hard enough that it makes the press of his palm fluctuate a little. Kazuichi's voice becomes breathy and strained, clawing at his arms as his legs squirm. How unfair that this all feels amazing. How unfair that this is all what he'd been hoping for in a way in his dreams. He can't decide if he should clench his teeth or not, his eyes unfocused with each amazing new touch. Kazuichi doesn't quite feel like a caged animal, but there is a burning fog throughout him at the act of giving up control of his breath to someone else. His nails drag down, leaving lines across his skin in their wake until the fall back and grab at whatever lay beneath him.

Gundham releases the pressure and listens to the way the next breath comes easy. It's not even him experiencing it this time, but he can feel the rush, the relief, the feeling coming back into his fingertips with a tingle. "You're pretty like that," he mumbles - it's no different from making him cry, is it?  Everything is fine. Kazuichi has given him a scare here and there, but he's done nothing too terrifying. The closest he got to feeling scared was his own doing, getting caught up in his own coat. And he'd never flagged a moment, anyway. Everything is okay. His energy rockets. "I can see why you wanted to watch it. Did it pleasure you to see the focus leave my eyes? What was it like to witness..." Witness him lose it. Lose all of it. His breath, his sight, his consciousness. "Answer carefully."

Gundham's tone is...unsettling in a way but it's going to live in his brain forever. It echoes in his head as every part of him tingles so beautifully. Pretty...he's pretty. Kazuichi doesn't respond for a while, just panting and swallowing to soothe his drying throat as he tries to find his words. He really doesn't want to think about it, what if it ruins the gorgeous buzz in his brain? But that's not going to happen with Gundham pressed against him like this. "I-It was..." Hot, it was so dangerously hot. "Like you were mine...e-empowering..." He smiles but can't make his eyes focus on Gundham's face.

"So it was good?" Gundham muses out loud, trying to place it on his own good-and-evil scale. And his standing in the way of it was...also good, in its own way. Enhanced the feeling, he assumes, even though at no point has Kazuichi fighting back felt good since they were playing in his bedroom. "I need that," he admits aloud after a second, "brace yourself, and then battle me with all your might. I want to feel what you did." It doesn't occur to him to offer Kazuichi a way out - he never had one, and his rational brain is miles away. As is his emotional one. All of him is far away. It's still his hand, though, that massages Kazuichi's throat gently for a second, and then clamps down again, reaching his free hand down to shove the waist of Kazuichi's pants down, messily, "I want us on equal ground.".

Kazuichi whimpers, his legs squirming. He's not really sure how to fight if he legitimately wants this all so bad, but he understands the sentiment. Wanting to have now what he didn't before. "A-As long as...y-you don't...break anything..." 

Why promise that when Kazuichi hadn't even promised not to make him bleed? It wouldn't be too big of a deal, would it? A little patching up is easy. No problem. Gundham had been ready to give up his body after a well-won battle. Kazuichi is the same. He doesn't need to worry about how Kazuichi feels. Kazuichi doesn't care how he feels, not beyond inflicting as much fucking despair as he— 

The grip strength in his hand falters. It's already his weak one. As he pulls the energy out of it, it deflates, it tingles like static, probably goes cold but he can't feel the temperature. He can't feel much at all. He takes his dick out over the slid-down waistband of his sweatpants with his still-functioning hand and sets them against each other, sandwiched between their stomachs, and then lifts it to hold him up, elbows on either side of Kazuichi's underarms, both hands now around his neck, though not pressing. Just feeling. Just holding. Just noting the difference between what it's like to temper the blood flow with a thumb versus what it's like now to have the ability to...crush.

"H-Hey...you okay?"

Warmth envelops Gundham's hands. He can feel that. The chipper tune in Kazuichi's voice is gone, suddenly. Or, he finally notices that it is. He stares down at Kazuichi. Pays attention to his breathing. It's lightning fast. Like a sniffing hamster.

He's...

He's not okay, but it doesn't matter, does it? Why does Kazuichi ask? He wants to be afraid. Being afraid keeps him sharp and keeps him on top. Right? No it doesn't. Being afraid is what— An eye twitches, thoughtfully. He doesn't notice that the pressure in his head around his eyes and nose is tears slowly welling, making his gaze look glassy.

The hand on top of his slides up, loosely around his wrist and forearm, another reaching up to hold his face. Kazuichi’s eyebrows knit in concern. "You know we don't have to do this, right?"

"That's..." His heart feels like it skips a beat. Or two. Or has just stopped entirely. Gundham remembers what that's like. To feel it slip away. His body reacts instinctually, ripping his wrist out of Kazuichi's grasp and sitting up, rolling off of him, all in the moment very convinced that he's dying. That he's dead. His chest hurts. Like it's been caved in. From his sternum all the way down to his spine. When he hiccups, he expects it to be blood that pours out of his eyes and his nose and mouth, especially since he still tastes it, faintly.

Kazuichi flinches, watching him move and pushing himself up as well. "Gundham...!" It's a concern that envelopes him, pulling his pants up properly before sliding a little closer. "Hey...I won't do anything...we can stop."

Gundham wipes his nose and pulls his wrist away. It's just snot. It's just tears. He's not dying. It's cold on his face. He sniffles. That fuzziness splits wide open and he's slammed with perfectly crystal-clear shame so overwhelming he can't take it all in at once. Where had he gone? When did it happen? What is he feeling other than the fucking awful sensation of guilt and terror? "I don't feel well."

"I-I know, I'm sorry… Can I...do something? Do you want your hamsters?"

Gundham takes inventory of himself. What he needs. He needs for none of it to have ever happened, first of all. He needs to go back to forgetting about all of it. He needs to pretend like he's never felt a despair like that one and that he'd never fallen back into it even for a second, and that he's still worthwhile to be here with these other paragons. He needs to be fixed, he needs to have pieces removed and restitched. He's silent while he works all of this out in his head. Okay. First thing's first, for real this time. He needs to be safe. He needs to be sure. "...You honey your words to lure unwitting flies," it's not exactly an accusation, but more of a question. He's not sure where it's come from, he just - it's something he has decided right now that he needs to know before he can move on.

"N-No, I..." Kazuichi’s not sure what to say, not sure what'll make any of this better. Perhaps this is a case of there isn't really anything to make it better. He crosses his legs, pressing his hands into his lap. There's silence for a short while, his stomach turning with an emotion he can't quite place. "...want me to leave you alone for a little bit?"

No, he really just - needed to know. He really, really needed...

"I waited until you were at a moment of weakness before I struck. I—" He wants to say that he doesn't want Kazuichi to do the same, but what good does that do? All in all? If Kazuichi wants to, he'll do it anyway, won't he? And Gundham's not the sort to plead. Not for his life, not for his dignity. "Trust that's not...please, don't let that be..." The tears are mostly silent ones, which would be nice, stoic looking, cool - if they weren't accompanied by snot and drool, too, and a shake in his knees and hands and arms. "No." That's the truth, at least, and one he's confident in. If Kazuichi hadn't treated him to such a delicate, beautiful touch in the first place, he's not sure what would have happened.

Kazuichi leans and grabs his discarded shirt, pulling himself closer to Gundham. "Okay...don't worry about anything right now." He hesitates before reaching out, holding his face gently and wiping his nose with the shirt like he's a toddler. That felt like the very least he could do. "...do you want a hug?" He asks as he retracts his hands again and folds the shirt up to toss it to the side. He doesn't want to touch him too much if he thinks it'll be bad, but a hug feels like what he's meant to offer right now.

Gundham sniffles again and answers the question with an act of his own, creeping closer, his arms up and open, slightly. He's still dazed. He's still not entirely sure who he is or where or when, but comfort offered will be comfort taken. It can't be taken back once he's in the embrace. If he's taken advantage of, he's taken advantage of. It doesn't matter. What matters is that he hasn't hurt someone, he hasn't fallen again. Probably. Probably. 

Kazuichi gently pulls him to his chest, straightening out Gundham's clothes so he's properly covered before fully wrapping his arms around him. He presses his face into his hair, rocking him slowly in silence for a while until he's sure they're both at least a little bit more comfortable. "...I love you. I really do. I'm sorry if I got too excited." Not that he's entirely sure what the problem is, but he wants to support him as much as he can anyway.

The broken-open jagged edges of his terrible clarity start to stitch themselves back together, start to grow back their fuzzy film. The sharp memories of what it is exactly that horrifies him so retreat, but the much more recent ones - the ones held by his auto-piloted body - are all rushed in the moment the slow rocking reintroduces Gundham's soul to his vessel. He opens his arms to the sides and waves them nervously. The hug is good, he just needs to be certain that he has them at his command. Somehow knowing that he does and that he always had makes him…he sobs. It creeps up on him, but once one of them has made it past his defenses, another one quickly follows, and his whole body shudders with the shame that follows. He curls tightly into Kazuichi, as small as he can make himself, and sobs. 'I love you, I'm sorry if I got too excited'. How long has he been praying on hearing those words? And he had the audacity to call him a liar only moments ago? How could he?

Kazuichi lets one hand rub his back, pulling Gundham as close as possible. He can't quite curl up completely in his lap given that he's the taller of the two, but he's more than happy to let him try. It's strange hearing and seeing him cry. Tears shed years ago aren't the same sobs as right now and his heart squeezes. He worries he's the cause of them but he's glad knowing Gundham's even comfortable doing this in front of him. He gently kisses the top of his head, able to hear the concerned chirps of the hamsters but not willing to let go just yet to let them add to the comfort. "...It's okay. You're okay and I'm okay. I love you, Gundham."

One arm eventually comes around Kazuichi's middle, the other still wavering awkwardly in the air, shaking. Gundham’s knees are brought to his chest and his ankles to his thighs, pulled so tightly that he's not sure if he's shuddering with the sobbing or the effort of trying to turn himself into a black hole. He's not okay - he's just had the overwhelming thought and urge to hurt someone. Which isn't new. It's not even new that it's someone he says he loves. It's not shock that's scaring him so much, it's just the resurgence. It's just remembering how he'd been so entrenched in that feeling day in and day out for years without this release at all that has him feeling like he's set to explode. He tries to explain himself, he does, but he can't manage it. Halves of words flood out of him, but none of them make any sense, and each failed attempt only makes him more frustrated with his lack of ability to communicate, makes his voice sharper and louder and shriller on the next attempt, makes him bury himself further into Kazuichi's bare chest.

"Hey," Kazuichi squeezes him before gently pushing hair out of his face. "I'm okay. You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" He doesn't want Gundham explaining anything before he's ready and getting himself frustrated will only make it harder. He'll stay up all night with him to help him through this if he needs to. "If you're worried you did something wrong, you didn't. And even if you did, you didn't hurt anyone." He kisses his hair again. His back's getting sore but he doesn't want to move. Once he's a bit calmer, he'll consider it, but not just yet. "You can tell me about it after, yeah? Don't force yourself, I'm not going anywhere."

He lets Kazuichi talk to him for a little while, lets whatever demon inside him wreak its havoc, lets it tear at him as much as he deserves. He would say that he deserves to die, but he's already paid that price, and he's not sure that he wants it ever again, even if it is deserved, completely, entirely. Once he can let Kazuichi's words in, and can have them stick, they start to help. He didn't hurt anyone. (Like he'd wanted to.) (Like he still wants to.) (He can't tell Kazuichi that.) It is a small comfort, though. He's not on the brink of suffocating on his own sobs anymore, although they do still come. He can breathe between them. He tries not to think about what it feels like to have oxygen return to his body. "You didn't…" Well, it's more than a single syllable this time, at least, "You haven't felt..." his breath shakes on its way in and comes out wet and racked with sobs trying to work their way in. He won't let them. Gundham pulls back from the hug, sitting up, wiping his face on his arm, hiding his eyes in his elbow for a second as he regains himself. A little.

Kazuichi rubs his arms, allowing him all the time he needs. Hamsters start clawing their way into Gundham's lap, at least one already climbing up his shirt to snuggle up into his neck and offer little hamster kisses to his jaw even when he lacks the scarf. There's a few moments of silence between them. He just watches how Gundham breathes. "...I haven't felt what?" He eventually asks, quiet and gentle. "Do you...have the words to tell me?"

Gundham's head slowly lolls to one side as he gets as close as he can to the hamster on his shoulder. At first it's only Shiryo, but within a few seconds, all four of them are scrambling for a spot, even nipping and chasing at each other for prime territory. Gundham doesn't have the wherewithal to scold them, so he can only hope quietly that they don't hurt each other on his behalf. Not willing to admit to the shame of lack of skill, he doesn't confirm or deny the question, just stares down into Kazuichi's lap and waves his arms a little slower, a little smoother, as to not knock any hamsters off balance. "...I sh-shouldn't tell. It's best unsaid. Clearly the p-presence of such a spectre is untameable for now. S..." He's sorry, but he's not quite sorry enough to say it.

"...I want to know." Kazuichi insists. He can't think of anything that'll make him think less of Gundham now so there's no reason to hide anything. At least in his mind. Kazuichi wants to help and be trusted with the things that get him so upset that he cries. He might not be great at comfort, but if Gundham needs it, he wants to provide. "If something's getting to you, then I want to know about it. Otherwise you're just gonna get me all worried." His hands fall to Gundham's knees, rubbing circles into them. "You're my...you're my boyfriend so...I want you to trust me with your feelings." There's a brief pause as he looks away. "You don't have to tell me now...but...someday? At least?"

"I don't know how, exactly, to put it into a language that can be understood," Gundham starts, swallowing hard, forcing tears away with a deep breath and sheer will.  "And to receive half of the message would be worse than receiving none at all. If I communicate it to you with perfect clarity, I'll be able to tell simply by the way you respond." He finally stops flapping, raising his hands to his face and rubbing his eyes, and then going to scritch one hamster each with them. "I would agree to your terms did I ever foresee a day on which I'd tire of your partnership so thoroughly I'd willingly dissolve it with the spilling of my deepest despairs."

Kazuichi frowns, pulling his hands away from him completely. He understands, he does. Gundham isn't one to truly express himself on such an emotional level. It's so rare to see him cry, especially so openly. But even so, that's not exactly what he wants to hear. "...so you don't trust me?" At least that's what it feels like. He sighs, shaking his head. "Look. If you don't want to tell me, I can't force you. But I can't help you if you never tell me. You're very strong and I love that about you, but if you think there's something that serious going on...you're gonna have to tell me someday."

Gundham bristles at the blunt way the sentiment is revealed, grinding his teeth. His eyes and nose sting and his throat is gummy from tears, and any attempts to look serious are robbed from him with the sad look still lingering in his face. "...I trust myself to protect you as I always have. Like in the throes of the Dream."

"Yeah, I know you will, but—" he sighs, shaking his head. It's not worth it. He just wants to have a calm night after all of this so he can't ruin it. "I-I don't want to argue about this." He pulls a hand through his hair. "Just...think about it. Please?"

He does. Gundham actually thinks about it, right then and there. Truly lets the thoughts cycle in his mind, rather than just going silent for a little while.

"I...have miscommunicated to you. The state of my being." He says, quietly to start, crossing his arms over his chest in a self-embrace. "I...thought that if I expressed to you in human language the feelings that I had you would, being a man, interpret them as a human would feel them…but I do trust you. To know better." Reikon tumbles from teetering on Gundham's collarbone to falling down the front of his shirt - he catches him at about sternum-level and coos to him comfortingly, as if the little demon needs reassurance at all. "...I was..." was is a long shot - he tries again, "I am a-afraid," he mumbles, "of this," a pause, a breath, a confession, "of you."

Kazuichi takes a breath and nods. Good. That's progress. It's upsetting to hear, but it's not as if he hadn't already anticipated it. It's what he wanted to hear from the beginning, isn't it, but it's still not good to hear. "Can you tell me what exactly?" Because that'll help. Then they can figure something out and work through it.

"...It's been so trivial for me, in all my rigorous training and pedigree of rehabilitation allowing me to live once again, to remember and re-desire my freedom." The freedom to do whatever he wanted. The freedom not to worry about consequence or pain or harm done, to himself, to animals, to his family, to the human race, to the Earth, to anyone, "So, if you were to...if you were to fall from grace too often and so horrifically as I..." Sure, the point was to balance it out. They were free, but freedom meant nothing. Even true freedom couldn't fix the terrible illness that had infected every single facet of humanity. Life was still not worth living, still completely full of and defined by despair, even when the individual fought their very hardest to resist it. In any moral way - or any other way. "I'm unsure if I could go through it again."

"...you're worried it'll come back?" Kazuichi sort of sighs, pulling himself closer to sit beside him. "You should've told me. I was worrying about that too." Though, perhaps Gundham hadn't really considered that fear then anyway. Not that he'd recommend having that feeling inside almost constantly. "I...I don't want anything like before to happen again." He pauses, frowning to himself. "...no...I...I don't think it can. I don't think I could bring myself to hurt you that much even if you asked." Because the reason he did any of it was because it made him feel horrible and horrible felt amazing. Now, he's not sure he could punch the guy in any meaningful way unless something in him broke. "Look, I'm sorry for all of that and for...earlier. I'm not..." He hesitates, trying to find the right words. "There are things similar to before that I want. Because I wanted them even before then. Just not to the level of causing real damage...and even then I'm okay with living without it." He reaches out and places his hand on top of Gundham's. "I got excited tonight. I got too into it and I'm sorry if—...and I know it's a lot. That I'm a lot and the things inside me are hypocritical. But I love you and I want you to feel safe. I want to give you what you've always wanted..."

Gundham sighs, relaxes a little, and crumples into Kazuichi's side with a sniffle, still holding Reikon in both his hands next to his heart through his shirt. "No. It's my burden this time. I wanted us to be equal. But I missed that chance, and now my thirst for your pain is...it has no place in me anymore." He relaxes one of the hands holding Reikon and turns it to hold Kazuichi instead, but forces him to put his knuckles against the hamster anyway as support. "...I still want terrible things, too. And I'm not sure I know what is real damage and what is not."

Kazuichi considers that for a moment. Wanting his pain is completely justified. After everything, if there's a part of him that desires to have something paid in return, then there's nothing wrong with that. It's completely natural, even if that's not what the feeling is. "Do you...want to hurt me because you think it'll feel good or because you think I deserve it?" 

...That question had not occurred to him. Gundham goes quiet again, weighing his motivations carefully. "Aspects of both," he admits, finally, "I was enjoying myself. Carnally. Just now." And about seventy-five or eighty percent of the time from back then, too, even if it was in a much different way. "I think it would feel good because it would feel like retribution. Was that not why you enjoyed yourself? For punishing me?"

There's an awkward laugh. "It was more complicated than that..." And Kazuichi doesn't think they really need to get into his kinks right now when they're trying to have a serious discussion about Gundham's comfort. He shakes his head, trying to push it aside. "Anyway, that's not really a bad thing. You wanting to do that to me makes sense because of everything I did. It wasn't that long ago so...things will linger. And even if it's not just wanting to get even and you just think it's hot, that's okay and pretty normal too."

Gundham finds himself blushing at the realization that he's getting sexual wellness advice from Kazuichi Souda. But it sounds exactly like what he wanted to hear, somehow. He didn't want his thoughts to be ones that were completely, unsalvageably, absolutely wrong. "I don't want you to suffer. It's why I didn't want to disclose to you this...whatever this is. I'm not sure what the difference is, beyond the pleasure of it. Is that difference enough? Would it be even more heinous or just the same if my only solace was in an emotional release? If I wanted to see you hurt to pull you down and drag myself up, and not to bring us closer to the centre?" He's a little shaky again, his voice wobbling for a second before he clears his throat and resets his tone back to as deep and confident as it can get, "I don't understand how you allow my insolence in that way to exist so freely."

...the answer to that is probably pretty loaded so Kazuichi opts to ignore it and not fully answer. He squeezes his hand, giving him a small smile. "Look, all of this is emotional release. Crying, fighting, sex, doesn't matter. I'd rather you get your feelings out in some way than bottle it up." They don't have to work through all of it all at once either, as long as he's aware of the way Gundham feels, he should be fine. "I don't mind if you want to do certain things. Might be a bit concerning how far I'm willing to go, but if you want something, as long as by the end you still look at me and love me, we can do whatever you want. You won't make me suffer if you care about me, you just won't be able to bring yourself to do that. I'll be fine."

"You say that as if there aren't 'good' and 'evil' ways to perform the exorcising of emotion." Gundham grumbles, but he's not incorrect. Nothing he has said so far is blatantly false to the point he can confirm it to either of them. This makes it much easier, too, to believe when he says things that are entirely conjecture. "...Correct. I won't. And I will keep under reins the beast that pilots my vessel's physicality in my absence." He presses his knees together, returning to a sort of fetal position, although not quite as tightly packed into himself as before. "At this point I wonder if there is anything at all that could take away the rosy lens through which I view you. It is part of my concern. But...it is also a comfort." He shrugs and sniffles again, this time into his own shoulder, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

Kazuichi smiles, shuffling slightly so he can hug him from behind. "Then we'll be just fine. You can be as gentle or as rough as you need to be, I'm not going to think differently of you unless you start thinking differently of me." He kisses his temple, leaning his head against Gundham's to avoid taking away space from the hamsters. "You deserve to express whatever you need to express in whatever way feels most comfortable right now."

Gundham lifts Reikon up to his mouth and kisses him gently, and the hamster crawls back up onto his shoulder, squeezing into the new warm crevice made between Kazuichi and Gundham. "...This is why you aren't human," he says, very quietly and delicately, like if he were to say it any stronger than that, it might make him cry again, "you say that and you mean it, don't you?"

"Of course I do," there's no reason he wouldn't. He cares about Gundham to a degree he hasn't felt for other people in a while. It's nice. He wants him to feel as safe and happy as possible and that means working through whatever is going through his head at whatever pace works best. "I agreed to be your boyfriend, why wouldn't I want you to be happy?"

"I don't know. There are still motivations in this world whose meanings escape me." He gives a weak shrug and turns and lifts his head - he doesn't kiss, but he gives a half-pout like he wants one.

"Well...my only motivation is I started caring about you at some point." Kazuichi presses their foreheads together. "And now I don't know how to stop."

Gundham glances down at his lips and then gives him a tiny brush of a lingering peck. "That's a fault of mine...my irresistibly devilish nature..." he jokes, although with a straight face.

"Oh, exactly." He smiles at him, leaning in for a slightly longer and proper kiss. "So terribly charming, I'm surprised I could hold back so long."

"...Cease this, I taste of salt, mucus, and shame."

"Awh, but I could kiss it all away." Regardless, he gently pulls back and stretches out his arms. "You can use my shirt to clean yourself up a bit more and just have a shower later before bed."

Gundham makes an odd noise, a cross between a laugh and a scoff and disgust, and chases Kazuichi down for one last kiss before he leans back. He looks down at his scarf, and then at Kazuichi's shirt. Honestly, when he'd been handed fabric to wipe his face, he's assumed it was the former, not the latter, just because his scarf is so used to it and not Kazuichi's concern, either. "...Eugh. You are disgustingly selfless."

Kazuichi sticks his tongue out at him and lays down, wriggling around to get himself comfortable. "Ah, it's not like I need it for anything else today. When we go back in for breakfast, I'll just get a new shirt. Or I'll steal yours."

Gundham does pick up the shirt. He's relatively gentle with it, using the very bottom and inside hem to wipe his eyes and face, and sniffling to try to minimize how much from his nose gets on it. "...do you..." this is such a stupid question, it makes him cringe internally that he's even suggesting it, "want to...get off? At least once."

Kazuichi hums in thought, rolling over onto his stomach and propping himself up on his hands. "Are you asking because you want to do something or because you feel bad for freaking out?"

He looks down at Kazuichi and quirks his lips into a purse. He hums, too, but much less thoughtfully. He knows the answer, and it's definitely the latter. It's a bit like having a plate full of food in front of him, isn't it...? "Fair enough," he says eventually, making sure he knows where each of his hamsters are, before he scoots to lie beside the other for a little bit, "thank you, by the way, it feels splendid to have it be given the title of a 'freakout'." He says, sarcastically.

"No, come on, I didn't mean it as a bad thing." He pouts, leaning over to hug him again. "I freak out on you sometimes too, it's totally okay." He kisses his forehead a few times as if to apologise before laying back down completely. He's just not really sure what else to call it aside from breaking down and that doesn't seem any better.

"I'm teasing," though he can see why Kazuichi may not have twigged it, given...everything. He hasn't even smiled in his assertion of the joke, either. He takes the hug happily, and then follows him to keep close. "...I'm going to pet you," he mutters, and then pulls his hands into Kazuichi's hair, scratching behind his ears.

Kazuichi hums happily, laying his head on his arms. "You should do this every day..." He leans into the touch. "You're super good at it." And it's weirdly relaxing. He'd never really considered head scratches would be really good before any of this.

"I have great swaths of experience. The head and neck are very vulnerable places on a beast. Lots of nerve endings embedded in them to allow an animal to know when it's sustaining threatening injury. To let anything touch it, and touch it to such a degree that it feels good–" he accents this by moving down under Kazuichi's ears, over a very similar spot to where he'd been pressing against his jugular earlier, but this time with swift, repetitive, very gentle movements, "–is a show of trust. In social species, this releases bonding hormones."

"More ways to ensure I stay with you." Kazuichi jokes, wanting to move closer but by this point he'd have to be on top of him to do so. "I like it. But it does make me feel super unskilled compared to the way I play with your hair."

"Have you ever pet a dog or cat?" He asks, genuinely, even though the question is a little...odd.

"Ah...kind of? You're basically the only guy with animals that I know. Or at least animals I've met. And stray cats don't exactly make friends easily."

"Hm," Gundham ponders that for a second. "They tend to enjoy more movement than you expect. Canines groom each other with their front teeth," he gives a series of short, pinchy scritches that have a deeply satisfying scratch to them without being painful, "and felines with their tongues," and he switches to long swipes with his fingertips, burrowed all the way down to the scalp. "Keeping the motions predictable but interesting is usually a favourite of theirs, on the front of 'received by human hands'..." He curls each of his fingers one at a time, and then again and again, scritching him in waves. His voice is clearing up quickly, turning from slightly tear-gummy back to a hesitant confidence.

Kazuichi breathes deep, clearly very comfortable with all the different varieties. He'd love to fall asleep to the rhythm. "That's all super interesting..." Despite how he closes his eyes, he really does mean it. "I should try it out next time then."

Gundham is quiet while Kazuichi sits there with his eyes closed. He doesn't want to work himself back up. He tries not to think too hard about it. "...I love you. Dearly. I look forward to you giving it an attempt."

Kazuichi smiles, turning onto his side so he can snuggle closer to him. "I love you too." It's like his heart gets lighter every time he says it. "I'm...really happy I get to be with you."

He soaks that in. As deeply as he can drink it. Takes it as truth, the only truth, earnest and complete. He sniffles - much drier this time. "...I'm not sleeping yet," he hums, quietly, after some time of holding Kazuichi close, "but you may, if that's what you desire."

"I know you're not." He finally looks up at him again. "You're not going to bed until like ten tomorrow. But I still want to hold you as much as I can before I sleep."

"Use up all my time," Gundham teases, quietly, squishing Kazuichi's cheeks with the heels of his palms. As if he's conspiring to keep the poor man from sleeping (he's not, his brain is just moving slowly, bogged down by odd emotions), he waits a while, and then, "...you called me that again," he says in a tiny mumble, "at the feast." He'll go ahead and keep chatting with himself if Kazuichi falls asleep, but...talking to someone feels good for once.

Kazuichi adjusts himself to properly wrap his arms around him, blinking with the question. "Called you what?" He'd been...a tad excited during dinner so he wasn't entirely paying attention to everything he was saying.

"...If I were capable of repeating it without bursting into holy flame, I would have," he mutters and, selfishly, leans down so he can cement his position as the one in Kazuichi's chest. "... Hamster-chan ," he grumbles, face flushing. He's never been one for honorifics at all, but he's received a couple of well-meaning ones but -chan is not one he's used to, never has been, and hearing it without a heavy dose of teasing was...odd. Odd, definitely. Very odd. Makes him feel funny.

"Ah, yeah." Kazuichi grins to himself, ruffling Gundham's hair and squeezing him gently. "I've gotta call you something, don't I? Calling you by your name is lame when you get to call me all sorts of things." It's an easy go-to for him since he's already been using the term. Plus, he thinks it denotes how cute Gundham can be and is therefore fitting. "Do you not like it?" There's a hint of a tease in the way he asks. "I like that you're my hamster-chan."

"Y-....You can call me what you like," he confirms, "I didn't realize how deathly serious you were about me being 'cute'."

"Awh, really? But come on, look at you!" He squishes Gundham's cheeks. "How could you not be cute! So serious and so snuggly."

Gundham tries to look very, very stoic, but with his watery red eyes and his red face and the cheeks he puffs up on purpose that are now being squished, he doesn't quite manage it. "I frust you to understan feh dandger even a little snuggly beasht can pose," he slurs through his face being manipulated. "So I won't fight. This time."

Kazuichi grins, pulling at his cheeks. " Oh so dangerous. So much so I want to just bite you." He finally lets his face go and squeezes his torso. "Super duper sweet, that's what you are."

"Ah, if only one could kiss and sleep at once..." he raises a hand to rub at his own cheeks to soothe them, "alas, your bite will have to wait."

"I could totally kiss you in my sleep!!" He pouts at him, though it's objectively not true. He might be able to if he was half asleep (or dreaming if he's particularly active) but that wouldn't mean he'd be well rested. "I could kiss you all the time forever."

Gundham...well. He allows it. Weirdly enough, after his meltdown, he feels a little more open, who could have guessed? "I'd live forever happier if you did. Have you as a piece of me for all time..." He tilts up and gives Kazuichi the chance to prove himself, finding a comfortable spot to lay his head so their lips are close but not touching, "...Like an anglerfish."

"So you do know stuff about fish." He teases, his knees pressed up against him. He doesn't want to have to take his contacts out and go to bed, he'd much rather lay here and stare at him forever. But alas, he can't have both. "...you really okay just hanging out by yourself all night? I can get myself to stay up if you want."

"...Would you stay with me a little while longer?"

Kazuichi’s arms hang loosely around his neck. They're close...and he feels no need to close the gap. "I can stay however long you need."

"I...am about to make to you a terrible admission to you, more so than any ugly truth you have so far faced, are you...ready?"

He hums for a moment. "I guess I am. Unless it's you saying you want to break up, then I wouldn't be ready."

"I...want to watch you play Minesweeper. "

Chapter Text

"I...want to watch you play Minesweeper ."

Kazuichi laughs, loudly as if that was far from what he expected. "Do you?" He squeezes Gundham slightly. "It's not the most interesting game in the world."

"I know, but seeing how it is someone approaches a game like that, especially on high difficulties, gives great insight into the way their arcane tapestry has been woven." He slips him a smile, too, though.

"I think it's just a logic game. Once you figure it out, your answer will be the same every time." Kazuichi shrugs but really he has no problem with showing off a little bit. He's not amazing at the game, but he's played enough to be better than some. "But if that's something you really want, we can totally pull out that old laptop and see if it'll run."

"No! On the hardest difficulty, it is possible to be presented with situations impossible to solve with logic alone! In that case, you have to take an educated leap of faith!" Gundham is pretty excited, though. He sits up away from him and gestures to him to follow.

"I'm surprised you even know any of that." Or what Minesweeper even is. Maybe his knowledge is relatively new... Kazuichi pulls himself up, stretching his arms out. "Have you played or do you just like watching other people do it?"

"Hm?" Gundham looks him over, especially the way his muscles pull in his back when he stretches. Right. Kazuichi would have to be doing it shirtless. Not that he minds at all. "…Ah, I've engaged in the frivolity briefly but found that on account of my omniscience it was uninteresting. Watching others is better, as is the case with most games." And, to be fair to him, he isn't that bad at most video games. Chiaki told him so! ...She may have just been being nice, though.

"Ah yeah? Just too good at it?" Kazuichi pulls himself to his feet, shaking out his legs. "I'll try not to perform terribly by comparison, but it has been a while since I've played." He takes one of Gundham's hands when he's stood too, pulling him along with him. "We could play a game of chess too if you want."

"I'll try not to make fun of you." He grumbles and straightens out his clothes. He squeezes Kazuichi's hand with one and then both of his own. "And again you'll be defeated! We should, even though the endstate is crystal clear." He gives an evil chuckle and, with hamsters all visible given the lack of a scarf, they all stop and stare at Kazuichi with pity, too.

" Maybe. There's always a chance I could beat you at chess or shogi." A slim chance but still a chance. They are, generally, pretty close intelligence wise so it could happen! "There's definitely something I'd be able to beat you at." The ocean makes the night air rather frigid and Kazuichi wishes he'd stolen Gundham's jacket for the walk. It does give him reason to walk glued to his side.

"Undeniably," he agrees, happily holding Kazuichi close to him. It makes walking straight hard, but he doesn't mind stumbling their way across the courtyard. "There are already things you've surpassed me in." It hurts to admit, but if they're going to do this, he probably should say it aloud at least once. Gundham rushes him to the next building as quickly as he can without the two of them tripping all over each other - one of those things is putting up with the cold, honestly. If he were half naked right now, he'd have perished. Even right now he's shivering and breathing heavily as they find shelter.

Kazuichi is more than happy to pull him into the safety of the building, following the hallway to the room left open where the laptop still sat on the coffee table. He kneels in front of it, pushing open the lid and watching the screen turn on. "I think I'll do a warm up or two, make sure I still know what I'm doing, before trying to do anything more difficult."

Gundham stands over him while he gets re-used to the world without a wet breeze chilling him to the bone, rubbing Kazuichi's shoulders from behind, being sweet as a cover for his true motivations - the other’s body is warming up faster than he is. "Is that you saying you want me to turn my wicked gaze away from your journey's start, then?"

"No, I'm saying I'm not going straight to the hard stuff so you gotta deal with it." He looks up at him, sticking out his tongue before navigating the laptop. It's responsive given the age, but he's just more happy the trackpad still works. He does load up an easy game and it does take him a minute to actually get into it again. "So...what is it you actually see in people when they play this?"

"I see through the delicate fabric of reality, and past it, the true potential in a being's soul," he continues the massage as he speaks, a little rough when he gets himself excited, "it is not my only reagent in the essence revelation potion, but a key ingredient is grown by the use of such puzzle-toys..." he clicks his tongue, thoughtfully, "Though I suppose I have already determined your lineage."

"Yeah you have." Kazuichi hums, leaning back into his hold. "So is it just that? You sure you don't think it's just interesting too?"

Gundham narrows his eyes, even though Kazuichi can't see. He always does this: prods him just a little further than he has all the answers for, both over important and totally innocuous things. Makes him actually think for a second. He watches Kazuichi start marking tiles and is quiet for a little while. "I don't know. I never gave it much thought," he feels... somewhat comfortable admitting (everything feels so small now that he's embarrassed himself big-time). He keeps thinking about it, this time quietly, aloud. "It doesn't seem like much to be excited about, but from an outside perspective, I'm sure that some of what I do could be viewed the same. And I can't help but think of what the great Digital Arbiter would say if I dismissed it so readily..." Chiaki, he's talking about. He puts his chin on his shoulder. "I enjoy it." He says, finally, with a little shrug.

Kazuichi hums, reaching one hand up to pat his head. "And you're allowed to just think it's neat." He feels the need to reassure him even if Gundham doesn't need it. He's more than willing to sit here playing whatever games this old thing has if they get to sit together like this the whole time. "...man, playing this would be way easier with a mouse, but I reckon I'm getting the hang of it now." He scratches his scalp gently. "What are the stakes? How disappointed would you be if I lost?"

"Not disappointed at all. I'm searching for knowledge, not success." He relaxes under his touch, leaning into it like a cat

"Then if you figure out something new, you should tell me." The hold and the weight is comforting. Not to the point of being distracting, but he would gladly close his eyes and indulge if he could. Kazuichi loads up the hardest difficulty and gets started and he seems to be doing well. Or at the very least he hasn't lost by the time about half the board has been revealed. Gundham provides running commentary in the form of hums of agreement and tisks of concern. Sometimes they have nothing to do with the board at all, honestly, and he just wants to see how Kazuichi reacts to a sudden disapproving silence.

"Mhm. Use of basic principles...I see it...but what will you do when- okay..." Gundham nods. Kazuichi is actually sort of good at some of the more advanced techniques involving corners and angles - probably on account of his oddly-wired...well, wiring part of his brain, making connections and drawing closed loops. While he watches, he eventually sits down out of his squat and keeps Kazuichi in his lap, held around the waist with hands on his middle, one on his stomach and the other slightly above, hoping that he keeps him warm, oddly enough.

Once the board is cleared, Kazuichi laughs to himself triumphantly, leaning his weight back into Gundham and doing his best to look at him. "Not bad, right?" He grins, squeezing the hands around him. "Gonna tell me I did a good job now?"

Gundham pats Kazuichi's stomach and then gives him a scritch. "You got lucky at the end. You escape unscathed from the minefield...this time. Your fortune will not last." His chest rumbles against Kazuichi's back while he does the voice. His eyes still burn a little bit, which makes the smirk on his face feel a little odd, but he perseveres, pecking the back of his head, carefully staying out of his line of sight, just to tease him. "Good job," he whispers into his hair eventually, just repeating the exact phrase - and then workshops it a little this time out loud, "a fine job. An impressive deed. Ah..."

The sound Kazuichi makes is like a flattered teenage girl, squirming excitedly in his lap at his words. It's always nice to hear, but now especially so given how much he wants Gundham's opinion. "Good to hear you're impressed." By his ability to play a simple, pre-installed game. It still makes him feel good though. "Are you going to make me play this all night or do you have enough data now?"

"Not all night. Just enough to have a dataset...you're a scientist. You know that one isn't going to do the deed." He says that, but he's not letting Kazuichi get back to it, instead tightening his legs and arms around him, trying to capture him as completely as he can.

Kazuichi reaches back again and scratches the back of Gundham's head. He's starting to understand why Gundham likes tight and seemingly suffocating hugs; it does feel nice being held like this. "I guess not, but you're also omniscient so you should already know the outcome." He teases. He wants to kiss him but he can't. "You also appear to have trapped me."

"Cheap shot," he mutters, "I was toying with the idea of letting you go, but now that you insult me, I may rescind that offer..." He kisses the back of Kazuichi's neck and the top of his spine, between his shoulder blades. He can't get very low at all, given their heights, but he sure tries.

Kazuichi's back arches slightly, giggling with the tingly feeling. "Damn, guess that means I either have to free myself or succumb." He sighs playfully. "You've got a pretty strong grip on you."

"Acts like he doesn't understand me, and then speaks my language to my face..." Gundham grumbles. "You could apologize for attempting to embarrass me, lord of the cosmos."

He does his very best not to preen too much with the title, placing his hands on Gundham's knees. "Embarrass you? Why would I do that?" His tone betrays him, the grin obvious in his voice. "I was just pointing out the assumed abilities of the overlord of ice."

He grumbles again, Kazuichi receives a full-body squeeze and a nip. Not even anywhere sexy, either - a bite right on the top of his spine, accompanied then by a headbutt and a rub of Gundham's face all over his shoulder. "You ought to know better than to assume that I would hide anything from you! Obviously, if this was a specific instance that was not immune to my power, I would have said so!"

There's a note of a laugh, Kazuichi trying and failing to pull himself away. "I do! I don't think you would hide that from me." It's just so fun to poke at his internal logic sometimes. "I just think, sometimes, you're not as powerful as you claim."

"So you admit to it."

"I admit nothing except that you're just a big, adorable cat." Kazuichi says as he tries to wriggle his way out of the grip.

Cat!? Gundham..well. He has actually practiced communications with housecats quite a lot over the years, and knows how to mimic their to-human sounds quite well, as well as some of the ones between their own species that his human flesh trap can actually detect. He gives a little annoyed mrrrp like a playful cat might and squeezes him tighter - Kazuichi has his arms free, but Gundham has his torso firmly in his grasp and their legs tied up in knots.

Kazuichi seems much too happy to hear him concede to the comparison, practically giggling as he holds onto his arms with half hearted pushes and kicks. "See? You make a great cat! There's so much about you that makes it fit!" The way Gundham snuggles up to him, the way he communicates nonverbally... he'd even argue his whole face makes him more cat-like. He can't say there's a single bad thing about it, if he wasn't so against it he'd love to see him in a pair of ears. "Even not letting me get up is a cat trait."

"If only I could purr," Gundham mumbles, being shaken around a little and trying not to chuckle as Kazuichi thrashes. He's not in any danger of injury in their position now, so he has no problem loosening up a little, just so that Kazuichi has a chance to break through if he's clever or quick enough. "Tell me, then, what power level would you ascribe to such a beast? Answer carefully. If it is short of the true answer, you'll be crushed into oblivion. If it surpasses the true answer, you will be burned into ash."

"No! You can't do that, I don't want to be crushed." Even so, he can't stop smiling. It's all so nice and so playful, making everything feel so light. It's wonderful. The problem is, though, Kazuichi doesn't have any idea what way Gundham scales power. "I think...cats are pretty up there. They're smart, independent, and durable. Plus are known to be very important and powerful. I don't know what the current list looks like so I don't think they'd be in the highest tier, but maybe one or two away from it."

...Gundham doesn't actually have a way to burn him up. He does have the means to squish him, though, so he does that, giving a grunt of effort and leaning back until Kazuichi's weight and his own combined topple them. "You're right, but it's most certainly just a lucky guess." He huffs, but finally releases his hold on him once they're on the floor.

Kazuichi makes an amused sound even as his stomach is squeezed. The second he can, he rolls over, laying his head on Gundham's chest and looking up at him. He can't imagine having a moment like this with anyone else... "Only a lucky guess? Maybe I have the divine on my side." It's so stupid, talking like this and feeding into all of his beliefs...but it's fun. It makes this all so much more uniquely theirs and he thinks he could happily indulge him forever.

"Khhhh," Gundham hisses, mock defeated, "...I am not granting you anything. Though...though, maybe, that is beyond my power alone to give or withhold...,maybe you're simply absorbing it from the poisoned landscape around me. If that were the case I would demand you cease! Immediately! My well is not one to be freely drank from!"

"Nope! Can't help it! I've already absorbed so much and you know I have!" His feet kick in the air behind him. "You gave me a taste and now I'm trapped under its deadly allure and can't stop if I try."

"No!" Gundham moans and lies back, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. This is what he's wanted. Each prod and needle and tease. For Kazuichi to return it and not cry about it afterward. "This is why I take every pain to make sure no mortal enters my aura. Surely you already feel the effects of the dire addiction." He grunts as he sits up and rubs his own hands through his hair, mussing it out.

Kazuichi keeps himself wrapped around his torso, chin on his chest as he looks up at him. There's a grin plastered on his face and complete adoration in his eyes. "I do, but you're the one who let me have a taste first and then kept letting me have more." Which is true when talking about every way Gundham has told him the poison can be transferred. His love and his touch... "Absolutely addicted to being your star." So terribly in love with him that he's never felt this with anyone else. "I've already accepted that there's nothing I can do now."

A wave rolls over Gundham, and it makes his heart hurt. Maybe he's just still sensitive, but...it makes his chest prickle. And his cheeks. And his eyes. He hard blinks it away, or, he does his very best to, his nose and brows scrunching. Reassurance now, when Gundham is pressing no emotional knife to his throat, means a lot. Especially with that passion. Those eyes. "...Of course you can have more. I couldn't stop you if I tried. I know this. I've always known this.

"Then I'll keep going until I can't anymore." He pushes himself up, enough so he can cup Gundham's face in his hands. He's pink, but not with embarrassment or fluster, just a pure and unfiltered wholesome desire for the man he's dating. He can't even begin to imagine himself with anyone else in that moment. "I love you." He squishes his cheeks for a moment, biting his own lip to discharge some of his emotions. "Can I kiss you?"

Gundham doesn't have to pout, because Kazuichi does it for him by smushing his cheeks around. "Mmhm," he hums an affirmative and leans forward into his hands after staying back long enough to watch Kazuichi's teeth make a short appearance.

The kiss is closed-mouthed, Kazuichi unable to stop his smile even as he slowly pulls back again. He purses his lips, wanting to just squeeze and bite Gundham as hard as he can, but he restrains himself with a simple flex of his fingers for now. "Hamster-chan..." It's almost whispered, as if it's the most affectionate word in the world. "Does it feel good when I ask first?"

His head is fuzzy. His eyes are glassy. There's no way that at this short distance Kazuichi wasn't seeing it - and now it bubbles over again. Just one tear that gathers obnoxiously in the very inner corner of one of his eyes. Kazuichi is too close for him to pull a hand up to wipe it away as he tries to blink it away and ends up sending it down his nose. He nods. He nods a little, and then some more.

Kazuichi sighs gently, wiping away the tear with his thumb. The sight does bring a sort of anxiety to his chest but he's willing to set it aside for now. He presses their foreheads together. "Good. Cause...I know you stopped asking me at some point, but, I thought maybe you'd still want it sometimes." The ability to stop it before it even starts. He's worried about Gundham, he deeply and truly is, but he also wants to do everything he can to help. It tears him apart to think he might never really get better, but he still wants to love him the way he always should have. "Hamster-chan," he says it again, nuzzling their noses together. "I'm...really happy you let me see you cry."

Gundham's lip wobbles. He doesn't trust himself to speak or think or breathe or listen or do anything at all, but the deed has already been done, he's already battling down the cold swell of a sob in his chest. He manages to swallow it. Hold it down. Not because he's hiding - his continued sniffling and hiccuping is proof of that - but because he doesn't want to. It doesn't feel like the right reaction. Not the one he wants to have. Not the one he actually feels, because he's not sad, and he's certainly not angry, the only two times he has ever really known himself to shed tears. "Sometimes." He says, once he can keep his voice from breaking. Sometimes, so he can remember that he can say no. He's not sure when he ever would, but he likes having the choice. "One more? The same way?"

Something about that makes Kazuichi's smile return to its full brightness, wiping over Gundham's eyes to be rid of tears before they fall. One thing he learnt a long time ago, and continues to be shown, is that Gundham for all his confidence is such a fragile man in some ways. It makes him adorable. Makes him beautiful. He's fairly certain he's always thought that. He doesn't lift the other’s head, instead dips his own to be at the proper angle. "Can I kiss you now?"

"Yes," Gundham agrees aloud this time, and meets Kazuichi halfway. He stays pressed against him for a while, not letting him go. He doesn't keep kissing him, exactly just holds their faces together, noses interlocked and lips pressed. He just breathes Kazuichi in. He just lets himself be held. He holds it for a little while before he pulls back. "So you say I should not even consider apologizing for my behavior just now?"

Kazuichi presses his face against Gundham's cheek, pecking him just once. "I don't even know what you'd need to apologise for." Not the teasing or the crying. "You only gotta apologise if you actually do something wrong and you actually are sorry about it."

"Tch. For terrifying you, surely, for if the world is in dire enough straits that I would show such weakness, you, too, would be in grave danger." ...And if he had scared him, he is sorry, to his credit. He would not have said it as a falsehood.

"I'm not terrified." Kazuichi assures him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "I mean, you feel happy right now, don't you? Mostly anyway? I don't think it's bad...it's nice knowing that you're okay with being weak with me. I'm worried but that's because I love you."

"I do," he reassures, partly because Kazuichi has asked and a much larger part because he'd like to hear it himself, and then stumbles, "I- w- weakness...weakness, in a relative sense..." There's not really any getting around it. He's only saying it as part of the necessary ritual, not because he thinks it will convince either of them. He's doing a lot of speaking for no reason - something he can't stand in others. "...but I know what it is that you mean." He thinks he does, anyway. He sniffles again, raising a hand to rub his nose with his wrist. It's like breaking down any other social barrier between someone and their chosen companion. Finally hand-feeding a skittish animal without being bit. "Even if I can scarcely believe it."

"Look." Kazuichi sighs, pulling back to make eye contact. "I'm a crybaby. You've known that since like the second we met. And you're still into me." Bluntly, it's just the truth. Not that he likes saying those things about himself, but he is an emotional guy and he can't really deny it. Or at least he's not willing to deny it anymore. "I used to be told all the time I was weak and I should man up someday. Clearly I didn't. I'm not gonna care if you cry, the only thing I don't like is people being dishonest with me." He pauses a moment, pushing stray hairs out of Gundham's face. "... you're still the same strong, stoic, and dangerously handsome guy even if you do cry. You don't gotta be as reactive as I am...just...honest with yourself."

...He doesn't mean to be rude, but Gundham does give an aborted amused snort at his words. He pulls in a deep breath and bites his lip. He's snotty all over again. It's not as bad as last time, though, and it's clearing up fast. "...Right," he nods, "right." He can do that, that doesn't sound so bad. No he can't, he can not do that, he's never been able to do that! Gundham shifts uncomfortably, and gives a pursed frown, "Transparency isn't my strong suit," he mutters.

Kazuichi shrugs. "You don't gotta be transparent with me but...I'd rather you cry when you feel like crying even if you gotta be alone to do it." He does pause though, analysing his own words before scoffing. " Man, when did I become the mature one?" He leans back on one hand, scratching the back of his head. "I sound really weird."

"Certainly not sounding like the man I fell in love with," Gundham mutters, but this time lets himself chuckle aloud about it. He's not lying, but it's not a bad thing. It's just...odd. And also sort of stupid. How can Kazuichi of all people tell him something like that? Of course he has to be transparent with him, they're -...dating. That's part of it, isn't it? Baring one's soul and everything. All of it. That's what he always wanted. He just didn't realize it would be difficult when it came time to do it for real. He had so many fantasies about Kazuichi knowing him, all of him, and loving it, and adoring it, and revering it, but…he takes another deep breath. "You mean that, too?"

Kazuichi stares at him for a moment, glancing away when he seems to finally figure out what he means. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I?" If he wants anything for Gundham, it's his comfort. It's obvious he's much more sensitive than he lets on and, if they're going to make this work after everything, they need to be able to relax in each other's presence. "If you gotta...build up to talking your feelings through with me, I've got no problems waiting. I just want you not to pretend you're not feeling a certain way at all." The last thing he wants is for Gundham to not tell him how he's hurting. Kazuichi wants to know if things are too much, if he's not being a good partner, or if the past his bothering him. He's worried that if he isn't told, he won't notice.

Unfortunately, Gundham already knows too well that if he doesn't say, it can, indeed, go completely unnoticed. Something clicks somewhere. "Of course I would need no such thing. I have been immersed in the waters, now, held below the surface until the world above seemed a distant dream!" He croaks, sitting up on his own, confidently - so confidently that he actually sits himself up back into a low squat, ready to lift back up onto his feet. "My inoculation is now finished! The trials come next, and I will face them with confidence that can only come from skill short of mastery but bolstered by a learned ally."

Kazuichi doesn't look completely convinced. He appreciates Gundham's confidence, but they've know each other for... fuck getting close to ten years now, he knows the guy is going to have trouble whether he admits it or not. "Gundham. Seriously." There's a concern in his eyes. "I'm not gonna force you to communicate, but I still want you figuring out your own way of letting me know things."

"I was under the foolish assumption that my obfuscation was steering us both from oncoming storms and not into them," he crosses his arms over his knees, "that if my subterfuge was to go unnoticed, then it would be of no consequence in the end. But the alternative is not so near to certain death as my skittish instinct declared." It's embarrassing to admit that he'd been scared at all (or that he still is, a little), but the admission is also something in its own way, right?

"Because I thought you weren't bothered by it." Or at least not enough to really be affected by anything. But now knowing that Gundham's actually suffering with trauma (no doubt due to things he did to him) that he hasn't begun to resolve...ignoring it isn't going to make it better. "We're not...gonna move along smoothly if you've got serious stuff bothering you. Especially if it's stuff about me."

Gundham bundles up as much power as he possibly can. "I understand. My cowardly behavior has had no positive effect." He has a hundred excuses lined up, but he voices none of them. He's lost his steam. He stands up fully and raises his arms over his head in a stretch, but it turns quickly into a pose with his feet apart and braced into a sturdy position, his arms following the familiar knot to tie themselves in according to the physical component of the spell he weaves often (the one that buffs his confidence). He glances down at Kazuichi, hoping that the look portrays how serious he is taking this.

It does make Kazuichi smile a small bit, standing up and patting Gundham's cheek a few times. "You'll get used to it. I'm glad you're willing to try at all."

Gundham stares him down, relaxing his arms a little, and rolls his eyes. He's willing to do a great many things, as should be obvious. But the recognition...he really likes the recognition. "...I will have you face me in battle in due time, but not now," he says, slowly, and bows his head, "would you...like, now, to rest?"

He hums, a disappointed noise. "Yeah...I probably should." He'd rather not, he likes having as much time with him as possible, but he should at the very least get himself settled in and his contacts taken out. "Are you going to tuck me in and kiss me goodnight?" He teases, batting his lashes in an exaggerated fashion.

There's a moment of hesitation before Gundham steps forward and offers his arms out. Offers to not just hug him - but shown by his sturdy stance and the glance down at his open hands, to pick him up. "I will do more than that."

Kazuichi stares for a moment, stepping forward with a grin. "Awh, really?" He wraps his arms around him in anticipation. "Like what?"

Gundham crouches, hooks his arms behind his thighs, and hauls him up. It's been far too long since he's done any heavy lifting. It doesn't feel great, but it does happen, and he doesn't feel wobbly. His confidence in his grip stays strong, even if it's a little more effort than he remembers it being. He gives a gruff noise and looks up at him, "Aha. Allow me to spread to you the feeling of being warmed to the core, even in the face of the world's coldest fronts. How's that?!"

Kazuichi can not contain his joy, grinning down and him and squeezing his shoulders. He can't think of a time he's ever been carried for any truly good reason so...there is a tad bit of excitement in the sense that this is theirs. "Really? You'll be able to warm me up even with all the ice inside you?"

Gundham shrugs, leaning to knee the laptop closed upon the table and then hefts Kazuichi up a little from where he'd started to slip. "You and I now chart unknown waters." He admits. Maybe he can, maybe he can't. But if he can... "Maybe I have been secretly a master of both elements, knowledge so forbidden that my forms before have hidden it in the darkest recesses of my being..." Alright, he's getting them the hell out of here and back to a spot they can actually lie down in, at least until Kazuichi's asleep.

"Well, it would make sense if you have some affinity with fire." With all his Hell talk and threatening to burn people. "But...what if it unlocks because I defrost your soul?" A bit arrogant, Kazuichi thinks, to attribute an entire ability to himself, but it's fun! Gundham's little universe can be so fun, he wants to be pulled into it more from time to time.

"Ah-..." Oh, what an annoying thing to add to his lore, because it's...well. It feels like it could be true. He hip-checks the front door and hits the handle with an elbow. Outside, he pulls Kazuichi closer to him. "Maybe," Gundham mutters, "...maybe your nuclear form's magmatic being has caused some sort of reaction. I don't know if a defrosting is on the table." He has his ear against Kazuichi's chest again. The wind is whistling enough he can't hear the heartbeat under it. "It could be. Tell me what it is you're theorizing."

Kazuichi keeps kissing the top of Gundham's head. The fact he's allowed to do anything of the sort at all is still overwhelming and he wants to take every opportunity he's presented with to show off his affection. "Well...I think maybe, at some point, your soul got frozen. Maybe it's been like that your whole existence or maybe it happened between reincarnations." The night breeze makes his spine shiver but he's more than willing to bear it. "But regardless, you've been the overlord of ice so long that the affinity for fire just seems weird. Until a heat bright enough to melt you from the inside out reveals that your soul could burn just as hot as, uh, the flames of hell or even the sun given the chance to be freed and ignited." He lays his head on his. That feels like a metaphor but he can't really tell what for.

The quiet that follows is filled with Gundham trying his best to stitch this into the weave he's already created. Not that he's especially opposed to rewriting some things here and there, anyway, but if he can make it work seamlessly, it'd be easiest to remember. One of the arms holding Kazuichi up takes a brief detour to run a palm up over his bare back and cover as much of him as he can, and then switch soon after when the first tires of bearing the weight on its own (all of it that he's not leaning into the column of his torso for his legs to hold, anyway). Eventually, he nods. "I suppose to find the exact moment at which the cataclysm happened would step to making the narrative more...catching," he says. But for now...this is a lot for him to think about. A lot for him to piece together. "Did it happen all at once or did you have to build the energy necessary? Were you consciously indebted? Or maybe a spontaneous execution?" He's mostly talking to himself, if the mumble is anything to go by, but...he really is trying to think about it. "No, it must have been a recent development. The other events are perhaps not unrelated, but this is different."

And Kazuichi would happily listen to him go on about it. It's so meaningless overall, but the fact it's so important to him makes it so fascinating. It used to be annoying. He found himself so jealous of Gundham's looks, popularity, and confidence that he rejected everything about him. He didn't fit in and therefore Kazuichi denoted him as annoyingly weird when in reality they're so painfully similar. It's...refreshing to know he's not all that different. Seeing him go on about his lore reminds him of why he fell for him in the first place. "It's cute." He finally says, squeezing Gundham for a moment. " Love melts the frozen heart... you really are just like a fantasy comedy villain."

"Comedy?!" Gundham barks, incredulously, and hefts Kazuichi up, readjusting his hold. "If there were any genre of media I would be the protagonist of, a comedy is the furthest from likely!" His hold, actually, is starting to falter, as much as he does love the arrangement. Maybe Nekomaru was right, maybe you do lose it if you don't use it. He'd like to at least get inside, though, so it looks intentional.

Kazuichi laughs, ruffling his hair as his legs squeeze him tighter. "Nah, I think you'd fit right into a comedy! One of those shows where the protagonist is in love with the demon king or the protagonist is the demon king. You'd work so well for that!"

"Absurd." He says, but honestly - maybe a year ago, he would have very plainly said that being feared is infinitely better than being laughed at, but now? The laughter that he gets does make his stomach flutter. "...I would be willing to consider relinquishing the protagonist title if the alternative was that it would be bestowed upon you." He mutters, clumsy in the way he barrels in the door so he can put this guy down already. ...If he was leaning him against something, it would probably be much easier- no! No. Not now.

Kazuichi's arms are still around him even as he’s put back down onto his feet, looking up at him with starry eyes and pink cheeks. "You think I could be a protagonist in one of those stories?" He doesn't really fit into the usual stereotype though. For one, he very much is not a girl, nor is he innocent and deeply kind enough to break a man as tormented as a demon king... Then again, perhaps that's not how Gundham sees him. "Or..." He leans in but doesn't kiss, his smile warm despite the words. "Do you just want to ensure I'm still with you?"

"I-...y-yes, that's... more like it," he mutters - he's not used to that look being directed at him . "I think especially post metamorphosis you'd be an ill fit traditionally, but that doesn't...mean..."

"Doesn't mean what?" He's still looking at him with complete adoration, still so close that one of them could so easily close the distance. But all there is is a gentle word. "Tell me."

Gundham breathes in, out, clenches his jaw, unclenches it, bites his lip. He wills himself to focus. They're having a conversation, even though he swears he can feel the breath off of Kazuichi's words brush his lips. "Doesn't mean you haven't achieved the same effect, anyway. If your version of events is to be believed, that is."

And Kazuichi only kisses his temple before stepping away. "You're cute when you get flustered." He hums as he picks up the blanket to better situate it for sleeping. The stuttering, the loss of words, the fact that someone could be so caught up like that because of him is flattering. It makes him feel like he's legitimately viewed as attractive.

"It's when I'm my most dangerous." He retorts, shooing him away from the blanket and grumbles a little while he sets it out for him in a different way. Part of it set neatly on the floor, away from any drafts, and the other half ready to fold over him to wrap him up. 

"Is it really?" Kazuichi is more than happy to let Gundham take over, using the time as a chance to get his contacts out. "You seem pretty harmless when you're flustered." Though he can certainly imagine what it would be like for him to actually be...his version of dangerous. It might even make him cuter. He wraps his arms around Gundham from behind, laying his head on his shoulder. "When you blush and can't speak properly~ makes me wanna squish ya."

"Backed into a corner is the place where most creatures perform their deadly last stand!" He says it forcefully, but he does his very best not to yell, since Kazuichi is crouched so closely behind him. He tosses the edge of the blanket back, folds the top down once, and gauges the length of the rest of it - it should still cover Kazuichi fine - and reaches back to scratch under Kazuichi's chin and coax him out from behind him. "Lie down if you aren't going to finish me."

Kazuichi hums, leaning in to offer a toothless bite to his cheek. "I can't finish you off, you haven't tucked me in yet." He finally lets go and steps away, sitting himself on the blanket until he can situate himself to lay down. It's been a while since he slept without a mattress, but it's not completely uncomfortable, even if the blanket could benefit from being a bit thicker. "We'll get breakfast when I wake up, but you should eat if you get hungry before then too." He smiles up at the blurry shape that is Gundham.

He nods and watches Kazuichi settle down, eventually leaning over and planting a kiss on his temple. From his clothes a slough of rodents tumble out, ready to also provide good-night kisses (and tiny claw marks as they scrabble to climb his face for the best position). Gundham gives him a little bit of maneuvering, tucking him in and nagging him a little on the correct posture to sleep on the floor quietly. "I'll be nearby the whole time. Alright? Yell if I'm too loud."

"I wouldn't want to keep you from going for a walk if you want one. I'll be asleep so I won't even notice." He assures him, reaching out to hold his hand. "I'd rather be woken up by you being loud than anything else."

"...Sure, but you'd rather not be rousted at all, I assume." He allows the hand-holding and gives a squeeze of encouragement, and then turns to find his coat and drape that over the top of Kazuichi as well, all before he goes picking hamsters off of him, gently detangling them from his hair. (Yurei gets a special little kiss before being handed off to Gundham again. Reikon puts up a fight, but he’s still not completely sure that Kazuichi can handle sleeping with something so small without squishing it, so he, too, has to be repossessed for the night.) "Rest and return to us." 

"Yeah...I love you."

"I love you." Gundham gives him what starts as a pursed smile but blooms into a softer, sweeter one after a second - he kneels there for a moment, sort of unconsciously deciding that watching someone sleep probably isn't all that bad, so long as it's someone like your boyfriend. And it all makes Kazuichi's chest warm, overjoyed to hear such words intended for him. From a man he'd never have imagined he could deserve. They gaze at each other, the softness and the quiet eventually pulling him to sleep, leaving Gundham alone in the waking world.

Chapter Text

Gundham lets the hamsters crawl around under his shirt for a little while before he gives in to them, pulling himself up onto his feet and stretching out. He groans to himself as he wanders down the stairs and into the open area full of desks and chairs and broken equipment. The lighting is dim but around. Useful, given the Spirit Soldiers don't like bright environments anyway.

One at a time they go through their usual handling routine, a little rushed on the poor hamsters' end, since they're obviously excited to get back to exploring. It would be nice if they had a couple of bandages out here, but it's fine. His blood clots quickly, especially in his hands. And then they get to work. One at a time, although the space is a neutral area that they would probably all get along fine in. Reikon first, a sleek little thing, he's much longer stretched out than he is all curled up like he normally is. He has an adorable little white belly that Gundham always finds himself with his nose in. He's easily the least dangerous of them, but he's no less used to the heat of battle. As a transition he gets Yurei out to meet with him. Reikon isn't very social, but he's also not very reactive...at all, so it helps for someone who's a little more friendly to show him what it's like to go wandering confidently to and from a hulking figure that has been a less than perfectly kind hand. She's good at scrambling out onto the table Gundham has populated with safe hides and things to explore and then coming to him when he calls her - and in walking directly over the top of Reikon when he’s called and doesn't react. 

Eventually Gundham lets Reikon get back to dozing, holding him in his lap while he and Yurei play. Despite his better efforts, she wouldn't hurt anyone. She doesn't need to be resocialized, but he likes spending time with her, anyway - and she has fun, too, waddling back and forth retrieving things for him and executing orders. Small orders. He can tell she still sometimes expects more of him, but she doesn't argue, just does what she's asked. With the less distressing two attended to and allowed to explore at their leisure, the other evils of the dark are finally allowed their midnight stage.

Shiryo - he nips and bites, but he doesn't mean anything by it. To train him out of it is the goal, but if it never happens, Gundham'll still be happy. It's just a part of his personality. It always has been, even generations back. Mononoke is who worries him. It's not uncommon for breeding for temperament to be a finicky science. He doesn't expect her to be exactly like her ancestors, but...Capricorn and San-D being sweet and determined from their inception to their demise makes him worry that something behind her little red eyes has been irreparably damaged. She doesn't bite (usually), but she has an air of defiance about her. Reikon neglects orders because he's lazy or doesn't understand. Mononoke looks straight at Gundham and defies him with purpose. At least she still acts in her own best self-interest...that's a small comfort.

Gundham keeps a close eye on them after their regimen has been finished once again. There are certainly areas he's not comfortable with them poking around, but none of them are particularly difficult to keep from live wires.

They explore and he does, too. Navigates boxes and desks, scavenges office supplies - the one of them he settles at eventually must have belonged to a younger worker. Or just someone who was very interested in young people things - among the regular supplies is dusty old stationery. Mostly dried-out highlighters. Cute tape and stickers half-used. Pens of different colours and mostly-empty pads of patterned paper. He drags it all out and sets it all over the desk, tests each pen and marker individually, inspects each sticker sheet and paper pad.

...These are his now. After his meticulous and systematic testing, he piles everything he plans to keep up to be carried back in the morning.

The rest of his night is mostly spent wrangling animals as quietly as he can manage before any outings, just in case they get up to no good while he's gone. Kazuichi is right, a walk is good for him, it does him well to be alone for a little while. He may speak of it like a terrible burden he bears, but to be by himself for a while helps him regulate. At least two hours are spent freezing cold standing on the beach in the dark, and when he returns, he's sniffling...but feeling better. More clear.

He can’t bring himself to go back to the main building without Kazuichi, though - something about it feels odd - so he goes without 'lunch', but he feels mostly fine up until the sun begins to rise. Something primal in him (he assumes it is the part of his childish soul that has been convinced that it inhabits a human body) grows hungry with the dawn. The sun should help him, should feel warm on his skin, but what's coming in through the dirty windows isn't enough. As one of the bright spots on the floor creeps closer to where Kazuichi lies, Gundham follows it like a cat chasing early sunbeams, all the way up until it's close enough to Kazuichi that he has an excuse to crawl into the blanket with him. He makes a small noise, but otherwise seems undisturbed.

When the dull sunlight finally hits his face, Kazuichi turns and presses himself against him more. This light is much more inviting as opposed to the sudden harshness of the overhead lights in their rooms, allowing for a few more minutes of half-asleep comfort. Eventually, arms come to wrap around Gundham, barely squeezing as he finds the most comfortable angle. "...morning, neko." The greeting is mumbled, languages slurred together. Kazuichi hasn't even opened his eyes yet, but he's already securely wrapped himself around his boyfriend.

Gundham hums at the sound of Kazuichi's voice, still very happily absorbing the heat, even if it's also accompanied by morning breath directly in his face. He has the opportunity now to present himself as some unknown terrible organism here to devour the other whole, since he hasn't actually seen his face yet, but he refrains as the words spoken start to congeal into something tangible in his head. "...Ahh?" He squirms a little, pulling himself closer, "Are you making fun of me?" He teases, maneuvering limbs to make the tangle as comfortable as he can for both of them.

"No...!" It's a little whining sound, burying his face into Gundham's neck. "You're like...a big cat..." Kazuichi takes a deep breath in, relaxing in a way that feels like he might've drifted off again...before biting down. Gentle, almost mouthing at him more than anything, his teeth resting against skin. Even the small chewing motions aren't enough to create indents.

"Tch," Gundham wants to laugh, but his face is heating up so fast that the embarrassment paints right over the amusement for a second. "So much that it has you speaking in tongues?" He smiles, relaxing into Kazuichi right back, pushing his face below his ear and giving a low hum as he rubs the flushed cheek all over him.

"...yeah." They nuzzle each other until Kazuichi finally opens his eyes, staring at the other for a long while before giving him a smile. "Have a good night?"

Gundham sits himself up on an elbow to hang over him. "...Yes," he confirms after thinking about it for a second, "productive. I have once again settled into the groove left for ecological scavengers for the time being, it seems, but no station in the grand parade of souls is a useless one, and so I will accept it graciously for now. ...And you?"

Kazuichi blinks, yawning as he stretches out his legs as much as he can without moving their position too much. It's unclear whether or not he truly absorbed what Gundham said. "Mh...good..." He squeezes him for a moment. "Good that you're here to wake up to. Good that I can wake up to sunlight..."

"Isn't it? It's been both an eternity and no time at all since we've seen it." Technically while they were in the Program he saw sunrises plenty (or, okay, he didn't, but he knew they were there, outside his cottage), but before that, he's not sure he remembers much outside smoke and smog for a while. It made for fantastical colours in the sky, but wasn't great for getting sunlight. It is, for all its wear and tear, a bit like a paradise here, in its own weird way. "Warm enough?"

"Always." The only thing that might fix it would be putting clothes on and he's not ready to get up. He looks up at Gundham for a while, a pause before leaning in to gently brush their noses against one another. "...do I get a good morning kiss?"

Gundham's eyes close immediately at the touch and he deflates with a breath out, nuzzling him back, mirroring the movements before he leans in, pressing their lips together, softly. A kiss only in strict definition, mostly an excuse for him to stay close. "Human rituals mean nothing to me," he reminds him, gruffly, "I will kiss you regardless of the position in the sky their false god reigns from. Let it witness our union at any time." ...But right now it does have a pretty good view of them, sitting above the horizon in such a way as to send light rays right into their faces, so he hums and finally kisses him properly.

Kazuichi laughs, letting his arms move up to wrap around Gundham's neck to keep their heads close together. "It's not really about it being the morning...just thought I'd ask first." He says as he pecks him, a quick kiss that barely lasts a second. As much as he likes the idea of waking up to such affection, the fact that Gundham admits he'd kiss him whenever is rather comforting. And exciting in it's own right, just the thought of having this love be guaranteed for at least the time being. He does sigh though, finally looking elsewhere to force his blurry vision to take in more light. "...we'll be expected to get up soon."

Gundham mumbles his dissent and follows Kazuichi's lips, kissing him on the corner of the mouth first while he speaks, and then catches him again. Easy to do when he's sat over the top of him like this. "No such thing. Expectations set by the Foundation are ones soaked in humanity's greatest sins! Their authority touches not our wayward souls!" He announces in between kisses.

Kazuichi hums, a sound that's practically a dreamy sigh as he scratches the back of Gundham's head gently. He does think it's best that they not miss breakfast, if not for himself than for Gundham to be able to probably eat and get some sleep, but this man knows exactly how to make it so hard to comply with such a thing. "You're not tired yet?" He asks. "Being such a bad influence with all your kisses..."

"No! I am tireless!" He bellows, and then realizes it's probably a bit early for that and scoffs at himself, but doesn't apologize. He leans into the hand instead and huffs, "Bad? I am dragging you back across the veil! Praise me and my ability to serve you so efficiently!"

"Keep talking like that and I won't want to stop kissing you."

"Ahaha! If that's true, and you and I are cosmic equals, tell me, then: how will you impress me in turn?!" He's a little excited to see his star, leave him alone. He leans in and drags sloppy frantic kisses over Kazuichi's cheek and over the bridge of his nose with enough force to jostle him. If he had been sleepy, even a little, he's now been thoroughly revived.

"Gah, I gotta impress you now?" He giggles, kissing where he can reach when Gundham gives him the chance. He loves it all, he does, it feels so very in character for Gundham in a way that's endearing. "Is being in your presence not enough?"

"I have spoken my piece!" He sits up away from him, but pulls his arms around Kazuichi's upper body to hold him upright with him. "...Your time to do so is not limited. But I will be waiting."

Which is nice, but what's he meant to say? He only really half knows what Gundham was talking about initially. Kazuichi pulls himself closer, connecting their lips again. "I love you. I won't let you be the only one in service."

Gundham's hands find Kazuichi's lower back now that the other has stabilized himself, rubbing over his warm bare skin for a second until he's holding his waist. "Mm," he hums against his lips, giving in easily, "mhm." And kisses him slowly for a moment before he pulls back. They're a little overdue for laundry day, and things are only getting more dire by the hour, it seems.

Kazuichi pulls himself forward by the legs that wrap around Gundham's waist. They need food and one of them needs sleep but he's willing to push that all back just to sit like this for hours more. Now, however, is one of the many times he finds himself wishing he had normal eyesight because he can barely make out Gundham's expression even when it's so close to him. "... something on your mind?"

He purses his lips and nods, solemnly. "A great many things. Most in the way of skins and their neglected care..." He's only been awake for about two weeks. He's been sort of coasting on the fact he doesn't have underwear to wash, honestly. They'd led him to the laundry room (which was also an electrical closet of some sort, which seems dangerous) and cleaned up a few mismatched outfits and sleep clothes and left him to it at the very beginning. "...Have you ever been placed in command of that process?" 

Kazuichi stares for a moment, making an amused noise. He wants to kiss him again, and he leans in as if to do so, but stops himself. Maybe he should reel some of it in and not try to take advantage of every impulse. Maybe. "Cleaning isn't that hard, we can do that before you go to bed if you really want to."

"I'd.... like to," Gundham says, eventually, a little too caught up in his laundry woes to identify the aborted kiss. "I would be put at ease if I atoned, even if only partially, for the grievous sin I committed against yours."

"What sin...?" Kazuichi takes a second to process, sighing to himself as he ruffles Gundham's hair. "My shirt? Dude, it's fine. It's just some shirt. I didn't want you having to get it all over yourself, it's really not a big deal."

"...Yes? But you'll either walk into the arena wreathed in ectoplasm or entirely bare. This is still some wound to you, even if it was one you ultimately brought upon yourself ten times over."

He shrugs. "I've got no problem going shirtless, that stuff doesn't bother me." And even if it did, Gundham has a shirt so he could just take his jacket and button it up to cover himself. "Unless..." A small teasing smile graces him. " You have a problem with it."

Gundham pauses, brows knit, and puts a little thought into this line of questioning. Does he...does he mind? A little bit, yes. What does he mind about it? He bites his lip and runs through the scenario in his head. They come back, him carrying all the supplies he's squirreled away, and Kazuichi with his shirt slung over his shoulder. If they pass by no-one, there's no problem, really, but the moment he starts thinking about standing in the hallway and watching Kazuichi converse casually and half naked with…anyone…he feels a little… But it's no different than if they were out swimming, right? Why does it feel different? Why does it frustrate him? "I'd prefer if you remained clothed while being examined by the archdevil council unless there's a good reason for it."

Kazuichi can’t hide his smile. The pause would've been enough, but the fact he gets a response like that makes him giddy. Gundham likes him but also doesn't what to think he might share him in some way...and Kazuichi could not understand that more. He pulls him in for another kiss - it's longer but not hard or desperate, though the excitement and passion behind it is rather clear in the way he slots himself as far into Gundham's lap as possible just to achieve his desired angle. "I'll just have to wear your jacket until I can get another shirt then." He bites his own tongue to restrain himself, though the small amount of squirming and the way his eyes start sparkling make it clear he might start blushing any moment. "Keep myself for your eyes only..."

That is what it is, isn't it? It's something like possessiveness. Something he doesn't have very much experience in. Gundham has felt protective of many things, and he's felt jealous, but this is different. He holds his bottom lip between his teeth while he considers their position and Kazuichi's words. Glances down between them again. ...No, he's not sure he's ready yet. "I'll allow that," he says with a nod, shifting his hands from the waist up to Kazuichi's cheeks, holding his face and planting a very unserious kiss on his lips, "...You are a marvel."

Kazuichi squeezes him with his legs, leaning into his hands when their lips part again. He wants to get his contacts so he can actually see Gundham, but he's not quite ready to let go of him. "I would have to be, to be destined to have you." He seriously needs to learn how to flirt without being mildly turned on by everything. He'll probably figure it out eventually but...after last night, his inability to get his mind out of the gutter is going to start bothering him sooner or later. "If this was designed for me," he lets his hands fall to Gundham's shoulders, "then I must be at least partially designed for you."

Gundham just peers at him with softened eyes for a moment, and then nods, confidently. "And just for me." He likes that idea. Them eternally locked in a stalemate battle, side by side, opposites and exactly the same all at once, forever more. He puts another short kiss onto Kazuichi's chin, scratches behind his ears, and drops his hands to the makeshift bed, giving the other a little nudge with one of his legs.

Kazuichi takes that as a sign to let go as well, expelling whatever was sitting in his stomach through a roll of his shoulders before sliding off of his lap. Perhaps for the best the line of conversation is cut off there. He crawls over to where he left the contacts, giving himself a moment to get them sorted out before looking back at Gundham with a smile and newly pink eyes. "We hanging out here more or are you itching to get laundry done?" He pulls himself closer again, sitting beside the other.

"... I have no plans that require our pleasures gagged and restrained to the wilderness." Gundham says, picking up his coat and shaking it out before draping it over the other’s shoulders with a flourish, pulling the sides together at the middle of his chest.

Kazuichi pulls his arms through the sleeves. The jacket is clearly well-worn given the texture of the inside, it was frankly a miracle to find any clothes that still seemed new. Doesn't make this jacket bad though. It's decently heavy with the stitches still intact, he can see why Gundham took advantage of it in the absence of his regular clothes (Kazuichi's fairly certain some of their clothes still exist, likely somewhere in their old dorms if those aren't completely destroyed by now. The clothes they were wearing when they first got here are still around somewhere...but he's apparently the only one still attached to it enough to keep his old jumpsuit around. Would Gundham want his old clothes from that time though?). But it does make him wonder what his old jacket was like. He seemed to be attached to it. "Really? Other than the fact I am going to make you sleep?" Of course, he'd like to be able to sit here together all day doing nothing, but it's better for Gundham if he can get much needed rest.

"Temper your expectations, wild one, I will not need to be ravaged for that to happen," Gundham grunts and stands up, petting Kazuichi's hair, trying to get it sorted from the mess it's in. "...You are covered in mats, little mutt."

"Well, yeah, I woke up like five minutes ago." He somewhat grumbles but is more than happy to allow his hair to be played with. "I'll brush it later...don't- pull too hard."

"If you tie it up before you rest it won't do that." He takes advantage of the permission though, surprisingly delicate as he works his fingers through the biggest of the twists and tangles. The pattern on his scalp of choppy black and pink remains hypnotizing as ever. "You're the master of your own destiny. If my skirmish damages beyond your armor, you will tell me."

"But if I tie it back I have to lie on the hair tie and that's uncomfortable." Plus, his hair's not really long enough to be able to tie it back completely and have it still look good. He's sure it will be soon, but it's in an awkward middle stage. He does lean back into his hands, fiddling with the buttons on the jacket. "I can't tell if it's just me or if you're being extra fancy with your words today...like you sound like you're in a good mood."

Gundham snorts and places his feet together to provide more for Kazuichi to lean back on. He shouldn't be encouraging this - he suddenly understands what Kazuichi was getting at when he called him a bad influence, now that he's experiencing it in reverse. "I told you, though you might have still been between worlds. It's been a productive night."

"Yeah...it's just...really nice to see you enjoying yourself I guess." He says gently, leaning back enough to look up at Gundham. He looks a bit better than he usually does, Kazuichi notes. There's much less tension throughout his body and the semi-consistent sleep is probably helping him a bit. At least there's that.

"...I am enjoying the spoils of my exposure to pure radiance for as long as I have access to its splendors. So." Gundham shrugs and leans down to put a kiss on Kazuichi's forehead before he stands all the way up and huffs. "Speaking of spoils, wait here."

"Ah, what?" He falls onto his back as Gundham moves away, following him with his eyes. " Wait here? But I was enjoying that."

"There is no place on the surface of this forsaken plane where night holds eternal reign!" He yells back at him while he descends the stairs. Gundham's stash isn't far. It's small enough in total size and weight that it's easy to haul up and crouch down with to show it off to Kazuichi, who is, amusingly, still on the floor. "Look."

Kazuichi rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself up to get a look at everything. Colourful and childish patterns over a good collection of stationary but...he can't say he dislikes any of it. "Where'd you get this?" He asks as he picks out a sticker sheet - it's filled with designs of flowers, hearts, and rabbits. "Are you the kinda guy who, like, scrapbooks - what are you gonna use it for?"

A sweat breaks out over Gundham, a little nervous, but he pushes through, "In moderation and in my worthy hands it might transform the plain expanse of white page after white page into a paradise wherein ink flows with abandon." He sets the half-empty book of coloured pages on his knees and goes shuffling through, himself, pulling out one of the few surviving markers and waving it around like a wand. "I told you. Scavenging." He pulls the cap off the marker and clicks it onto the back end, brush tip poised toward Kazuichi. "Surely you've no ill to speak of my tastes?"

"What? No, obviously not." It's just the kind of stuff Hiyoko would be into so he didn't expect Gundham to care so much about it. In other words, it's pretty girly even for him so it's surprising but not unwelcoming. "It's good to get some more stuff you like." Even if it is a bunch of stationary covered in what he can only assume is some magical girl protagonist he's never heard of. "...it's cute."

Gundham doesn't lower the pen. He looks at the tip - the cap is blue, but the ink is green. He puts a protective arm over his scavenged treasures and scowls with as much intensity as he can muster, even while in a relatively good mood. Which, as it turns out, is a lot. "A true beneficiary of the wastelands spits on no offering," he argues.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Kazuichi pulls off one of the heart stickers and presses it onto Gundham's forehead. "Coulda gone out to find regular old notebooks but you chose strawberries and glitter pens, I get it."

"You...!" The carefully balanced pile clatters to the floor as Gundham lurches forward with a growl and goes directly for the expanse of Kazuichi's cheek to start writing on. He doesn't have very far to fall to the floor, a little roughness is probably fine.

"Ah! Dude, wait! You don't know if that'll wash off!" He yelps, trying to push Gundham away but the man is rather strong when he's determined. The pen feels horrible on his skin but Kazuichi tries not to move too much to make the mess worse. "Stop! I don't wanna be covered in ink for days!"

Gundham wrestles his way to his face with some effort, holding him down with an arm while he focuses intently on his work. "Think before you act, then!" He says, situating himself overtop Kazuichi. His handwriting is terrible, he's doing it with his right hand, and the surface is uneven and soft and wiggling a little, but he manages to print out the repeating hiragana across his cheek. ...Mostly. "Call me cute, will you..." He grumbles and adds a tiny flower, too. "There. Now it's inscribed for all to know of your insolence."

"What?! But I've called you that before!" Kazuichi whines, pulling his hand free when Gundham's finally done to rub at his cheek. The writing doesn't even smudge, much to his dismay. "Come on, did you seriously write shit on me...?" The fact he can't see it has to be the worst part. And right on his face too! At least all he did was put a sticker on him!

Gundham sits up and caps the pen and has to fight a bloody battle to keep a smug smile off of his face. Kazuichi's pink cheeks compliment the lettering very well. "Face tattoos make you scary, peach," he teases, losing his fight very, very badly and grinning.

Kazuichi puffs his cheeks, pouting. "Not when they're words or scribbles..." He grumbles, Gundham's smile only making him pout harder. He can't even fully appreciate the new nickname because he's fretting over his face. "You really expect me to go and talk to people like this?"

Gundham snorts a laugh and sets the pen on the ground. He's not going to encourage it verbally, but he leaves it unprotected where it sits. "Not scribbles. You're inscribed, not desecrated entirely."

Kazuichi groans, covering his face with his hands. And they still had breakfast to go to! "This stuff better scrub off in the shower. I don't care what you wrote just...man on my face? "

Gundham huffs and puts a hand on each of Kazuichi's forearms. Not forcing his hands away, but trying to coax them in that direction. "That's what it says, " he grumbles, "'Peach'. There's also a small art piece. It's far from the worst curse I could have carved into your flesh." He furrows his brows, the sticker on his forehead shifting slightly with the motion, and sits back. "It will come off. These are children's supplies, remember?" He says with a bitter edge and a roll of his eyes.

Kazuichi's face becomes increasingly pink, his ears beginning to burn. He hates that he can't stay mad at him for this. "Why would you write that on me?!" He whines but it's clear he's mostly just embarrassed.

"If I'm walking in with a ticking time bomb of ridicule, one so obvious that even you would take advantage of the weakness shown by it, I will not face it alone."

He groans, pulling himself up to sit. Understandable, he doesn't want his new items to be what people focus on the most. "Can't believe you'd just throw me under the bus like that..."

"I didn't think you would be so viscerally opposed to repaying your karmic debt in such an affectionate fashion," he mutters, genuinely.

Kazuichi keeps pouting, leaning forward to press his forehead to Gundham's. "...I'm not mad." Just embarrassed in a way he's sure he'll get over eventually.

"Not my concern," Gundham says - it's not that he wants Kazuichi to be mad, but more so that anger is probably one of the less awful emotions that could come out of such a teasing, and so it really hadn't even been on his radar to worry over. But he should thank him, anyway, for at least being up front with his feelings, right? ...He can't quite make himself do it, although he does manage a pout while he waits, patiently, looking down at the other's lips. "...Kiss?"

Kazuichi hums, tilting his head until they can comfortably kiss. It's gentle, not particularly special, but he does hold it there for a good while, one hand reaching up to hold Gundham's cheek and the other...dragging the pen in a zig-zag pattern down his exposed arm. He's still, perhaps, just a little petty. Unlike Kazuichi, however, he has no regard for the art's original vision, and is more than happy to screw it up once he notices that the cool, smooth motion on his skin is not indeed a finger. Gundham jolts and yanks his arm back (as well as the rest of him, making the hamsters still buried on his person all hold on for dear life) and sends the green mark scrambling like a lightning bolt down his wrist and hand, over his knuckles. When he goes to grab it defensively it coats the inside of his palm, too, and he grunts, trying to adjust his grip so he's not making the bloodbath any worse. "Fiend! Cur! D-Degenerate w-" do not laugh, "worm!"

Kazuichi holds the pen to his chest protectively. "Oh yeah? Come on, keep talking dirty to me." It's a tease to make himself feel better, glancing down at the green now squiggled over his arm. That feels like sufficient payback. "You'll barely be seeing anyone...maybe that means you need way more markings than me."

Gundham shoves down his laughter with an exaggerated frown as a chuckle manages to escape and tries for a second to pry it away from him finger by finger, but finds that the grip is strong enough that he gives up halfway through. "At least put runes upon my skin, you wretched little beast!" He cries, dramatically, clutching his forearm, "Or is that it?! You've put on me inscrutable curses?!"

Kazuichi narrows his eyes, grabbing Gundham by his elbow and pulling his other arm closer. "I don't know how to write in runes." He hooks his arms around his in such a way that it's extremely difficult to pull away, beginning to inscribe kanji along the surface. "But...now you can't deny it." Simply the word 'cute' written large and legible, and around it Kazuichi is beginning to doodle tiny stars.

The seriousness of the look matched with the words makes Gundham's soul nearly leave his body with how disgustingly difficult it is not to laugh in his face. His body around the arm begins to wrench and writhe, making the writing much harder, but not impossible. Gundham refrains from throwing himself dramatically to the floor until he can tell that Kazuichi has moved on from words to short little strokes of something less important, but once it's no longer lettering, he's tossing himself to the side and flopping onto the ground with a howl like an animal caught in a trap. Kazuichi yelps as he falls down with him, losing his grip on the pen and watching it roll across the floor. He can tell that Gundham is actually enjoying himself which makes him smile too, wrapping himself around him securely to tumble over each other for a while. He's grateful that they can do this away from everyone. Able to laugh as loud as he wants with the sun through the window... "You're struggling a lot!" He teases as they playfully push against each other. "Just admit that you've been defeated! You're cute and now everyone can see it!"

"He desecrates my temple with lies!" Gundham hooks a leg around Kazuichi's body to see if he can use it to pull him down and switch their positions, put himself on top - but it's a very active battle whose tides turn back and forth. "Dammit, dammit, oh, what a wicked sect of the mass movement to carve the permafrost...! Does it mean I'm destined to give in...!"

Kazuichi's grin doesn't falter for a second, their tumbling and tossing only serving to make it all the more exciting. "Yes!" They're practically yelling in each other's faces. "And you can't escape destiny! It's written all over you now so you have no choice but to accept it!"

"No! It's not in my nature - I would never! Besides, who would remain, piloting my terrible shell, if I were to melt and dribble out my own cracks...?" Gundham wails his lament and buries his face in his own shoulder while doing his very best to put his knee between their torsos to pry them apart. Or, it would look like that's what he was doing, if he didn't also have an arm slung around Kazuichi's shoulders, keeping him close in what's almost a headlock, designed specifically to keep him as close as possible.

"Then you'll just have to evolve into something more solid than water! Become lava or plasma! Your body can't be that ineffective at keeping everything contained." Kazuichi is holding onto him just as tight, their legs battling for who gets to be where. "Or I'll just have to love you even if you're an incompressible pile on the ground."

"Your temptations are so cruel - luckily, I, so far as I live in this state, am the source of all the universe's cold and cruel effects..." They're playing a very dangerous game with kicking feet and wayward knees, but the sweat-rush of adrenaline each time there's a near miss on a vital organ makes Gundham giddy. "In my new form perhaps I'll dedicate again a facet of myself to you and your eyes, even if you are despicable."

"I'm not despicable, I'm wonderful. " He nips at the other’s jaw in a bout of aggressive excitement, kneeing his thigh almost hard enough to not be considered play-fighting. "I'll accept you and your adorable evil in whatever form you take on."

Another wave breaks out and Gundham gives a noise that's pitched a little higher in his throat, making his voice box bob. Very dangerous. "Ah- centimetres to your right and you would have been instantly smote," he warns, the heel in the middle of Kazuichi's lower back digging in before he tones down the seriousness a tad. "And more wrong yet is that perhaps I would not mind if we were to forgo the ceremonial battles. You've whittled my exterior well past the spill of my toxic blood, what, then, is offering a little more?"

Kazuichi only digs his knee in harder, apparently not put off enough by the warning to back down. He moves to bite his Adam's apple, teeth shuddering as if he's biting incredibly hard despite only being enough to leave indents. "That so? Not worried I'll keep going until there's nothing left?"

Gundham's body certainly reacts to the bloom of discomfort where Kazuichi has shoved his leg up a little higher. He's on the floor for the time being, although their previous struggles for power doesn't make it feel as if he's been truly forced here, nor has he chosen it, exactly. It just is, for now, and despite the insistence behind Kazuichi's movements, he could change it if he wanted. His head goes blank for a second as he tries to figure out if it's wanted. It's the same moment that the predator's dangerous maw reaches his throat, and he tries to keep perfectly still, but a low sound of realization and embarrassment squeaks out of him and makes Kazuichi's target wobble. Each touch is enough to send another hot shock through him. ...He's starting to more deeply believe Kazuichi's suspicions about his true nature of mastering both elements, as effortless as it is right now to conjure up heat. "I..." He swallows, his voice much softer, "No. No, I think your appetite is strong enough that you could. But I don't think it's in you, to do such a thing."

Kazuichi giggles. "Yeah...I need to leave enough that I can still get snuggles." He nuzzles against his neck, his knee letting up just a little bit. "As long as you don't devour me whole instead."

Gundham swallows. Breathes. Undecided. "...I don't know if it's in me, either," he mutters, turning his head to the side to give him further permission - for what, he's not sure, "don't count on your safety! Someday I may take you over. Until then stay vigilant." He’s stopped his wrestling at this point, frozen in place with one leg up over Kazuichi's waist and the other out, bent at the knee, both open for the other between them. He could easily pull Kazuichi with the leg he has around him down to the floor again, if he needed to. "I...am," he pulls the words out is like he’s ripping out his own heart, his body and his mind fight it so strongly, "overwhelmed." He says, eventually, through grit teeth, gripping Kazuichi's hair and coat with evenly white knuckles.

Kazuichi breathes in, sharply, with the sudden grip, taking a moment to process it. Right...this position is kind of...he should be more mindful of that stuff. "Do you want me to get up?"

"...I don't know," his curled fists relax a little, apologetically patting him after.

There's a pause. Eventually Kazuichi moves to rest on his shoulder instead, straightening out his legs. "...I'm sorry if I'm being too much."

Gundham shakes his head, but very obviously relaxes at the loss of pressure. He lowers his leg so it's beside Kazuichi's hip instead and transitions into hugging him tightly, arms braced against his back. "You're being romantic," he mumbles into his hair, a spot he plants his nose and breathes him in for a second before he engages another gentle tangle of their legs and lifts his hips off the floor just enough for them to meet. This is made much easier by how much lower the other gets upon relaxing down into him. It doesn't take an entire roll or grind to tell that he's hard (harder than he was expecting to be, honestly), and he doesn't rub himself against Kazuichi, exactly. Just sort of lets their bodies slot together for a second. "Can we... Just quickly?"

Kazuichi shivers, squeezing him for a moment. "Do you really want to?" He finds himself asking. "If you're completely certain then sure I just..." He takes a moment to find his words. "...we can just be romantic right now if that's what you want."

Gundham's chest swells with a deep breath as he slowly lowers his hips, rubbing Kazuichi's back in wide circles. "Both?" He tries not to sound meek in his request, but he's not very well poised to cast his usual confidence buff. "If you could be slaked even in a circumstance like that."

There's a soft smile that graces him, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "I'm willing to try anything once." Which is to say he's never really gone in that direction but he sees no problems with it. "See, this is the stuff that makes you cute."

He gets a scoff in return as Gundham turns to catch a kiss on the lips. "I can't believe I've been put into such a situation. Me, asking you of all people to touch me softly..."

"What's wrong with that?" He pulls himself up just enough to more comfortably kiss, rolling his hips just enough to encourage his own interest. "Don't you love me? I can be wholesome and gentle."

Gundham growls and breathes out the silent gasp he'd taken in. "Don't tell me it doesn't feel like an affront to nature." He takes his lips again with a low hum, taking his flower-cheek in hand and letting the feeling of warmth wash over him.

"Being gentle or being gentle to you?" Either way, he shrugs. "I'm a caring guy! If this is what you're feeling, who am I to say no?"

"To me…" He's seen Kazuichi gentle before. To machines, mostly, but occasionally to small animals, too. "...I do love you. I love you very much. You're divine." In the same way a god of tricks is still a god, perhaps, but still. His heartbeat starts to slow, even out. He's still a little tingly, a little nervous, a little off, but Kazuichi's tone feels good, and so do the kisses.

"I love you too." Kazuichi lets an arm untangle from around him to hold his head instead, his motions easy but not so slow that they're agonising. This isn't bad, he decides. He doesn't mind having that touch be secondary to everything else going on. It's...different. "And because I love you, I want you to enjoy yourself." He's not...usually quite that raw. He's honest, but it feels very different to admit something in the heat of the moment versus just saying it because he wants to. "I think, if you want it, you deserve gentle sometimes..."

"I'm being talked away from the edge every moment you continue like this," Gundham mutters, only partially serious - he asked for this, he should accept it. One of the hands on Kazuichi's back trails down to the bottom of his spine and palms him, gentle, encouraging him closer. "...Can you talk like you were before?" It was serious, but in a different way. Not too focused on being polite or proper. Still playful, but affectionate. In a way that really made him feel...loved. Gently. "It was illuminating. To hear your frequency enter my own delicate wavelength."

"I talk in a lot of ways, you gotta be more specific." He says with a small laugh, dipping his head back down so he can return to Gundham's neck. "Am I being too romantic?" Kazuichi teases as he nips at his skin. "Far too loving for my boyfriend to get off?"

" Ugh . Problem solving, about my destiny, the like." He hums, "That was romantic. This is absurd." But he chuckles anyway, appreciative of the attention and feeling a little relaxed at the sound of Kazuichi's laughter. "At least before you sounded genuine. Now you've got an awareness of the curse lingering upon you and it shows. You stink of vile magic." He kisses the top of his head and rolls up into him just once, "Return to me, sweet one, I miss you."

Kazuichi pouts at him. "You don't think I sound genuine?" He feels like he's being genuine. What's wrong with him being more straightforward about it? "...you sure I won't boil you alive? You'll stay solid and whole long enough for me to tuck you in?"

Gundham snickers, "Mmmh - if I lose my constitution you won't tell, will you? Not any more than you already have made it clear, anyway?"

Kazuichi hums, biting in more places. "I'll only tell stories of your greatness. How good you are to me, unless I have reason to otherwise."

"Right. 'Greatness' is in all the tales you have to tell, anyway, so it's nothing to worry over." He wants this to work - he relaxes back and scratches a hand up through Kazuichi's hair, detangling delicately as he goes. He relaxes, his other hand moving to a hip, and then between the two of them. This coat is annoying. It's way less annoying on him, isn't it? Or is it always this cumbersome? "Mm. The biting-"

"You like it~" Kazuichi grins against his skin, trailing kisses up to his cheek. "And you're super biteable so I can't help it. Gotta put these things to use somehow and you just so happen to be tasty..."

"I do," he admits, happily, "their use once eluded me no matter how much I pondered them, but now...mmm mmh. " Yeah, he gets it now. "You've added so much to my well of knowledge, you know...?"

How nice it feels to know he can make someone else feel this good with such little effort. Kazuichi's own happiness is clear in the way he can't keep his smile down even as he rolls his hips and swipes his tongue across his jawline. "Oh yeah? What kinds of things have taught you?"

Gundham flushes immediately. Despite having a despicably old crush on him, for some reason, it feels odd for Kazuichi to be the one to make him blush. It feels like such a friendly thing that it's...odd to have it now. It makes him think of Sonia, briefly, which makes him frown and shudder. No, refocus. "Ahhh," Gundham's hand finally finds the way in through the half-open folds of the coat and puts his cool fingers against Kazuichi's stomach - less for the other’s benefit and more for his own pleasure, honestly, but if he gets something out of it, that's nice, as well. "We're in the midst of the conception of one of these skills now! The birth of another act for me to master is only just on the horizon. I hope you feel adored, in being allowed to bear witness to its early stages. As I become accustomed to every variation of sex there is to experience!" He must be feeling better, because he gives an evil laugh alongside his monologue.

"Ah, you're already pretty good at sex." He teases with a long roll of his hips that also rolls his torso against his hand. "But I get it...you want to see what all kinds look like...I think it'll be pretty hard for us to have hate sex though."

Gundham's smirk flickers and then opens up into a quiet open-mouthed noise. He doesn't get time to enjoy the way Kazuichi's stomach flinches, because it's being pressed into him. He groans without any hesitation. "G- yes, good, of course I am," he says - of course he's good, he's...good at everything. Most things. Some stuff. "That's why I'd like to experience it, it'll be...I mean, it's more fun than I thought it would be." He puts some thought into the rest, though, brows furrowing as he slides his fingers down Kazuichi's stomach, into his pants. "I think that one will have to wait. That will only make it more of a feat to behold, yes? When I finally deem you able to handle it?"

Kazuichi's breath hitches, his arms squeezing momentarily. Quickly he said, yet here they are taking their sweet time. The way Gundham's fingers are making his nerves tingle contrast so heavily with his tone of voice. And he sounds so cute when he can't find the right words. "Oh...fuck, yeah." Kazuichi lets himself shiver at the idea. "C-Come on, we're trying to be sweet, don't tease me with the idea of hot shit like that."

Gundham laughs a little. He's getting it - it's still sweet because it's an act of service, right? In a way? "Tch. Just touch me carefully and tell me you love me. I can act in whatever way pleases you, too." Kazuichi's skin is so warm, he feels bad putting his fingers so different in temperature on the most sensitive parts of him, but he perseveres anyway and combs them through his hair, down around him, but only a little. Not a grip, just a lingering touch for a second. "I can't hate you, except under exceedingly strict circumstances that I'm unwilling to divulge, because having the forbidden knowledge at all will cause temptation." Gundham says, lowering his voice again. Now he wraps his fingers around him, hopefully a little less frozen. "But as you've seen, I am also a master of the art of deception."

Kazuichi rolls his shoulders, pressing a few kisses to Gundham's skin. How unfair. How easy it is to feel as though he has the tables turned on him. "I wouldn't want you to hate me." He confirms, littering him with affection. "You just know how excited I can g-get." His breath stutters, rolling his hips into his hand. "Ah- fuck...s-shouldn't I be the one getting you off?"

"I'm learning the true extent of it, yes," Gundham teases him, giving him a couple of strokes before he withdraws his hand completely, returning to just drawing his fingers up the other's belly in a reverent fashion. "I thought that clearing your head might help you focus on the task at hand, but if you think you're ready, by all means." He finds that his empty palm is a little disheartening, though. He likes it better when he has something to be doing. "Keep going. You kiss well when you're excited."

There's a whimper, a small involuntary no in his throat at the loss. Of course he wants Gundham to touch him, he just doesn't want to get too carried away since that wasn't really the point of all of this. Short and sweet was the idea, wasn't it? Kazuichi's hips press and grind against him a bit faster to make up for the loss of touch, his lips turning their attention back to Gundham's neck as he kisses it. "I-I'm focused, I..." He kind of wants to pull the jacket off entirely and give him free reign over his torso, but that requires him to get up.

"Ahh. Yes? You...?" Gundham asks, leadingly, and then hums quietly. It sounds like a tease, but he really is trying to be nice, even though he is being...a little incendiary. It's probably for the best, Kazuichi might like that... "You're being diligent, I know, I know, sweet one. Feels good. You have such an animalistic quality about you, you hump like a dog."

There's a quiet moan as he drags his teeth along Gundham's neck, his grip on his shirt tightening. He really was trying not to get so carried away but it's so hard when he's being talked to like this. "And that's good?" It has to be, otherwise he wouldn't be treated to that tone of voice, that and being called sweet make his chest squeeze.

Gundham snorts, but he can't tamp down his affection and excitement. Not that he's trying especially hard. "It's endearing when it's directed at me. It does make one feel deeply desired." Something he's totally, definitely used to, by the way - he doesn't say it out loud, although he has to think it to help things keep moving - "My pretty boy. My sparkling star."

The sound he gets in return is akin to a whimper, Kazuichi shoving his face into his neck. Hearing him be so nice makes his entire body burn. "You are desired..." Especially when he says things like that...he's never been called pretty before. "I want you...and I love you..."

"I love you," Gundham rolls his head back around to get lips on Kazuichi's temple. He hums back and rolls into him. " This is what I wanted to attempt," he breathes, "do you want to touch me, or do you want me back?"

Their hips create an easy rhythm together, meeting each other in a pace far from the frantic feeling they're used to. "Can't I have both?" Kazuichi really doesn't want to decide. He feels like he should be serving something to Gundham, but how could he so easily pass up the offer…

Gundham takes a deep breath with the suggestion and nods, slowly. "Both, then. Here, hol- h-hold on," he's smiling the whole time he pulls his knees together just enough to wiggle his pants down right over his hips, "join me?"

Kazuichi reluctantly untangles his arms from around him, pushing his own pants down and pulling the jacket open more to have his chest more exposed. He trails kisses up until their lips meet again, letting his fingers graze Gundham's dick. How ironic that the second they're alone to be as messy and loud as they want, they decide to be quiet and gentle with each other. They kiss, slowly. The most Gundham gives him for now is a little nip and suck on his lip. They exchange, back and forth, little noises. It's a more consistent, low murmur. Gundham doesn't shut up for a moment, actually - he's constant low breaths and rumbling chest and quiet moans. He doesn't want to break the kiss, so it's the best he can do to communicate how much he's enjoying himself. As Kazuichi touches him he slips his hands onto either of his thighs and then pulls up, slightly, fingers on either side of him, rubbing gently. Kazuichi gasps, his tongue darting out to graze his lips every so often. It's nice when he's so vocal. It makes him understand what Gundham likes about him being loud - it feels good being able to hear how well he's doing. He gives Gundham a few strokes to get himself used to the angle before letting them press against each other again. His hand wraps around them both, his thumb focusing on their tips as he finds his grip.

Gundham pulls back slowly, leaving Kazuichi with gently used lips. He'll be back for them, but for now… "Your hands have been left so desolate and torn from all your vile work..." He mumbles. It's not a bad thing. His own hands aren't exactly soft or smooth, but there's a very different level to experience in the other’s fingertips and it keeps surprising him a little.

Kazuichi stares for a moment and hums, giving himself a moment. Doing this himself does feel a bit more awkward, but if Gundham can feel what he felt before, it's worth it. "But you like things a little rough, don't you?" There's a small smile he tries to keep even as he strokes the both of them. "I'd moisturize for you if I could...ha...I do still have a mouth if you prefer..."

Gundham nods, relaxing back to be able to see all of Kazuichi's face, flicker between watching his expression - so warm and pleasant, comforting - and smiles back at him, a little reserved at first, until he remembers that he can be as unabashedly silly as he feels like he can handle and he beams instead, "It wouldn't be the elemental of my futuresight's clear visions if he did not have the hands of a metalworker." For a moment he just keeps his hand loosely over Kazuichi's, not helping him in any tangible way, just enjoying the fact that they're touching, and enjoys to his fullest capacity the details of each bit of friction, each rough and soft spot. "I don't know if I'll need it," he huffs eventually, "and last time..." Eh, he'd probably have the ability this time to make sure they're both finished and comfortable before they leave for breakfast, but it's certainly tempting fate to cum that hard.

"Last time was good... " Kazuichi hums at the memory, his hand finding a comfortable pace. Yeah, it kind of got emotional there, but now he's more prepared for it and if Gundham makes a loving declaration, it's not as much of a big deal! "You tasted good...and I got to choke on you...and you sounded good." He licks his jawline, long and slow before coming back to bite his lip for a moment. "I am having fun like this though."

Gundham presses his teeth into his bottom lip and gives a grunt, throbbing in their hold, his hips shifting slightly, looking for more. "Heavenly," he agrees in a mumble, "both then and now. You were showing me you can be soft when you'd like to be. Even when I all but begged to be bled dry you were-" a shiver breaks out over his whole body as the stripe on his jaw starts to cool, "so sweet." He definitely won't need it - just more of this would be more than enough. He's so warm it feels otherworldly. Uncomfortable in any other situation, but with the rest of the sensations he's working up to become overwhelming in his mind by replaying their slow applications over and over and over again, it only adds to the tension. "I do love you."

"I love you too..." And he wants to keep loving him. He wants to be able to hold him and to kiss him and keep hearing such wonderful things said to him. How wonderful Gundham is...how terribly fortunate he is to have his eyes on him. His hand squeezes, stroking a bit faster with a shaky breath. He allows their lips to meet again. As much as Kazuichi enjoys when everything is hard and fast, this and the deep love that fills his chest is wonderful too. It's embarrassing to say he'd never really imagined himself having such a gentle and mutually rewarding encounter… "This didn't end up...being very quick, did it?" He speaks between kisses, clearly no intent to slow down.

"No, but it's-..." Gundham shakes his head slightly, trying to keep it from disrupting their kisses, the ones he's slowly working deeper and deeper, "only a brief moment in the infinite expanse we will traverse together. Just a spark on the line of t-time...don't...worry. More, please, more." Would Kazuichi fault him for hanging on so long, up until those words, whereupon he starts to fall apart? Listening to him speak with amusement in his voice, feel his teeth and his tongue but gently, sweetly, juxtaposed with the harsh grip on him has him...well, melting.

Kazuichi hums against his mouth, more than willing to give into the request. Especially when Gundham sounds like that, how could he ever say no. His free hand travels under his shirt, massaging his chest in time with his strokes. There's...surprisingly a good amount to take hold off. Gundham's always been rather broad but now he has the chance to properly appreciate it. And with the way he struggles to loosen his tight jaw must mean the touch is welcome. "...I like hearing you say that." Kazuichi admits, licking until lips part enough to run his tongue over teeth. "I...want to give you so much more."

Gundham wants to speak, but he doesn't want to quit kissing. The tongue is long, and he encourages him with a suck and a low groan. He's leaking into their hands and inadvertently letting Kazuichi stroke them faster, comfortably, which makes him dribble even more. It's not very long until he's helping Kazuichi meter the pressure of his grip, squeezing his hand when he wants more and letting up when he needs less, unable to completely give up control (but it's close enough that it lights him on fire thinking about it). He makes up for needing to have a hand in the way he's touched with the vulnerability he shows in his new open posture, his knees splayed open and his free hand up, his fingers combing, still delicate, through dodging tangles in Kazuichi's hair. He puffs his chest into the hand, lifting his mid-back off the ground to arch up into him.

Kazuichi’s wrist is starting to hurt with the repetitive motion but he can't bring himself to stop or even switch hands. It all feels too wonderful that even the dull discomfort isn't enough to dissuade him. He lets out a low groan into his mouth, letting his tongue explore as much as he can even with the occasional quiver of Gundham's mouth. It's getting messy, he's drooling into his mouth at this point and his fingers are coated with their combined essence. He'll probably have to shower or at the very least wash his hands before doing anything else after this, but it's all completely worth it. To have hands on him and to hear such delicate sounds from Gundham's mouth is a blessing. It makes...everything feel more real somehow. Assures him that they really could stay together far beyond this moment in time.

Kazuichi pulls back to breathe and to swallow, looking down at him. He's sure he looks rather ridiculous right now with a blush painting his face, lidded eyes, and green marker over his cheek, and for Gundham to desire him like this despite it. That, surely, must be true and honest love. He deserves that, doesn't he? "...I love you..." it's breathy and his hand squeezes as he says it, but it's no less affectionate.

It's not explosive, and Gundham doesn't try to hold back, he just lets the moment Kazuichi's touch becomes enough to finish him. It takes him a couple of seconds of panting, working himself up to it, replaying the words he said to him over and over, but he gives a long low groan only interrupted by a hiccup as he stumbles over himself in catching his breath as he cums between them.  It's a good thing Kazuichi had lifted his shirt, although he's not convinced that anybody would pay any attention to a couple of greasy spots on his stomach while he's covered in marker. "Beautiful. Beautiful, I love you."

Kazuichi is not far behind him, using the sight of his excitement as fuel to his own fire and to push himself over the edge. His hand is a mess yet he continues to gently stroke the before of them until he's worn himself out completely. He lets out a breath and lays his head on his shoulder again, his body shaking as he calms himself down. He doesn't feel the same overzealousness he usually does, instead there is a deep sense of content in his chest as he turns his head to bury himself into Gundham's neck. "G-Good? Enough for you?"

Gundham's fingers deep in his hair pet him, hold him, guide Kazuichi to set him down on his heaving chest. The hand on the back of his head plays gently with the hair there, feeling over his scalp, rubbing him in a repetitive little motion. He lets his head clear for a second and then nods, not finding words by the time he wants to respond. He's uncomfortable lying on the floor, but it doesn't stop him from growing a little drowsy. Boy, Kazuichi's hair smells good…

And Kazuichi hums with the response, gently kissing his neck a few times before settling in. He lets go of the both of them and lets his hand rest off to the side to not spread the mess unnecessarily. They lay there with the sound of nothing but their evening breaths for a while.

Chapter Text

"...you need to eat before you doze off." Kazuichi mumbles, gently. He's not trying to rush him by any means, in fact he'd love to stay there much longer, but it'd be irresponsible of him to not have Gundham eat.

"I'm tireless," he reminds Kazuichi curtly, but takes a deep breath anyway, and uses it to wake himself up a little, sitting up onto an elbow, shuddering and gritting his teeth at the feeling of the wet spot from the both of them on his stomach migrating with gravity. No, nevermind, he's lying back down. "...willing to sacrifice your fittings again?"

Kazuichi groans, rolling off of Gundham and pushing himself up enough to be able to crawl over to his discarded shirt. He wipes himself down and pulls his pants up again before returning. "It's not gonna feel great on your dick." He warns as he wipes off his stomach.

"Not my biggest concern," he mutters, giving a sigh of relief. To be fair, the inside of his sweats would be a more comfortable fabric to clean himself up with, but they're a modest (and ill-fitting to his presentation) light grey, and he's not very excited to get wet streaks on them. He'll put up with a half assed and rough wipedown for now. "I'll shower. After breakfast. Before sleep."

"Hm. Good. I'll make sure to have a shower too." Kazuichi kisses the centre of his chest before pulling Gundham’s shirt back down again, making sure he’s as tidy as he can be before laying back down on his chest. "Ready to get up yet?"

He stares up at the far ceiling for a second and then nods, tucking himself away and slowly sitting up - for real this time - still cradling Kazuichi to his body as tightly as he can without snapping him in half. He reaches to wipe his fingers on the shirt beside them and then fold it a couple times to make sure it's mostly inconspicuous from the outside. Both hands clean now, he lets go of the other long enough to run his hands through his hair and try to pull it into something presentable. He gives a thumbs-up and gets to work sluggishly gathering his now scattered belongings.

Kazuichi gives his body a moment to adjust to being upright before covering himself with the coat again. He feels all hot and sweaty but he's sure it'll pass once they're inside. He begins to fold up the blanket again, pressing his nose into it once he can hold it in his arms. "Do you want me to make you something in particular for breakfast again or just eat whatever we can find?"

Gundham stacks all of his things up again, making sure the marker is capped properly and tucked away, before he stands up and goes on the hunt for wherever he kicked his boots off earlier in the night. He gives the question some quiet contemplation as he checks to see if his laces will trip him from their untied position halfway up his shin - they don't reach the ground. He'll be fine. "Eh...?" He rubs an eye, "Anything. Rice or toast..." and shrugs, giving the platform a once-over quickly to make sure they've got everything - oh, his scarf. Where did that go? Downstairs, maybe. He starts to wander off to search for it, hoping that getting some blood moving again might wake him up enough to speak properly.

Kazuichi gently sighs to himself, placing the blanket in the box with his shirt so it can all be carried together before following Gundham downstairs. "Don't forget your soldiers." He feels the need to remind him even though it's probably impossible for him to forget about his animals. "I'll do the laundry so don't worry about that, let's just get breakfast."

"I'll attend. It was my idea in the first place," Gundham says, checking underneath desks and chairs, "and remiss would I be to send you into battle against my darkest foes without...helping. Where is it..." If nothing else, his soldiers have probably found the scarf without him, honestly, so the search is not in vain (or, it wouldn't be, even if it wasn't one of very few objects in the world to bring a quiet to his soul).

He stands there, watching Gundham for a moment before tilting his head. "Can't find your scarf?" Odd, he'd think that thing would stand out incredibly easily. "Do you not remember the last place you took it off?"

A bit embarrassed and definitely already freaking out a little bit, Gundham stands up straight from looking between a desk and filing cabinet with a grumble. "I was focused on other things." The specific details of the moments leading up to his outburst are fuzzy at best, and by the time he'd calmed down, it was already gone. He figured it would have just been upstairs near Kazuichi's shirt, but he hasn't spotted any purple yet.

"Did you put it back on last night?" He asks. He wasn't awake to witness it if he did and he has been lacking his scarf all morning so that would mean it had been taken off at some point. "I'm sure it's just underneath something, it couldn't have gone too far." Kazuichi sets everything down and makes his way back up the stairs to join his search. The thing is at least two metres long, it can't be that hard to find.

"No. I thought you had repossessed it, undeservedly, but I was willing to let it be for the time being." Not that he's willing to give it up for Kazuichi to snuggle on the regular, but last night was sort of a mess. He gets back down on his hands and knees and clicks and chitters to call for his entourage gently. "Bring the finery with you, little beasts, wherever it is you've taken it..." His little hamster-noises draw out three of the tiny beings from behind old boxes and office nooks (a headcount confirms they're Reikon, Shiryo, and Yurei). He scoops them up one by one and offers them kisses, and lets them do their best to hold onto him without the scarf or coat for containment. They did not, indeed, bring their bedding with them.

Kazuichi hums to himself. "I dunno man, you took it off last night, I haven't seen it since..." Because he couldn't really see anything at all, but still. It's strange that it would be off somewhere without him. He looks over at him, glancing over the hamsters scrabbling to stick to his shoulders or crawl into his hair. "Maybe it's with Mononoke then? Could she really carry such a long thing very far though?"

"You took it off me," Gundham grumbles, accusatory - he knows it's silly business to treat so seriously, though, so the bristling in his tone is dropped right away, "I...may have invoked the wrath of the natural world's purest anger..." he sighs, looking a little defeated where he sits kneeling on the floor. He gets over it fast - he's back up on his feet soon, once everyone has their places on board. "I would not believe it if you'd witnessed it. But without eyes of the living upon her, the spirit of ruin is capable of a great many things unfathomable to those bound by the predictability of fate and reason." He dusts himself off and starts to check the platform's perimeter.

Kazuichi frowns to himself, watching Gundham for a moment. The scarf is so important to him, he's never seen him go anywhere without it, it can't be a great feeling to know it's misplaced. "...we'll find it." He assures him. "It's probably still in the building somewhere - it'll turn up."

Gundham goes moving furniture again, checking holes in walls and underneath things, mumbling to himself halves of curses interspersed with bits of improvised story. If he'd been falling asleep before, the quickly increasing anxiety is definitely helping him stay awake. As a last resort, he eventually goes for the window he'd cracked the night before. They're not on a full second story - more like a raised platform for a manager's office above the others - but the drop is still a horrifying thought. With a little bit of effort he pushes it open with his shoulder. It creaks and squeals at being forced open. A little bit of cool morning air leaks in. With a little more room to look down through the dirty glass he leans in and freezes, gripping the windowsill with white knuckles.

Kazuichi turns to look at him, staring for a moment. The hamsters are tunnelling into his shirt and gripping onto him as Gundham leans. He finds himself stepping forward, furrowing his eyebrows as he places a hand on his back. "What's up...?"

He crouches a little to show. Stuck in the line of untrimmed shrubs surrounding the base of the building's first floor and fluttering slightly in the wind is about a quarter of a purple scarf. He ducks out of the window, forehead smudged with dust and dirt from where he'd been leaning against it, and takes off down the stairs as fast as he can force himself to go - which, surprisingly, is pretty quick when he's not being bogged down by all of the extra layers. Kazuichi startles, watching him leave and then peering out the window to watch as he untangles the cloth from the branches. For her own good, he hopes Mononoke is still up here and not down there. (part of him considers just jumping down, it doesn't look tall enough to break anything in him if he lands properly...but decides that's not a great idea.) "Is it okay?" He feels the need to call out.

Gundham keeps grumbling to himself while he wades into the brush and starts carefully pulling already thin and sad-looking fabric from twigs. It's all more than loud enough to be heard, but the only thing that comes through clearly instead of an incoherent frustrated mumble is, "You!!" For the most part he ignores Kazuichi as he extracts the little demon from the bundle of fabric - she isn't very happy with him, obviously, evidenced by the way the moment he opens up the protective scarf-ball she's covered herself in she tries to make a run for it, attempting to wriggle out of his hands and into the foliage. "If y- if you need alone time I beseech thee to- seek consult on the matter before-" he juggles her to try to keep her from running off, eventually having to clasp her to his chest with an exasperated sigh. It's like being nine all over again. Scarf still covered in leaves and burrs and draped over one arm, Gundham looks up forlornly into the window where Kazuichi is stood. He'd give a thumbs-up if he had the hands to do so, but for now, his nodding will have to do, "Both of them are in one piece."

"Well, that's good!" Kazuichi sighs with relief on his behalf, giving him a smile. "Wait there, I'll come down." With some effort, he closes the window, scooping up all of their things before making his way outside to meet with him. "Little guy gave us all a scare." He says that more to Mononoke than to Gundham, gently bumping his shoulder given he has no free hands now. "Doing better now? I'm glad you found both of them."

"My power wanes," Gundham says with an edge of a whine, but, really, he'd known better than to assume all four of them with their performance the night before were fine to leave unattended. Maybe in a past life, but now… He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath to relax himself. No problem. Both the scarf and his little contemptuous imp are safe. He'll examine each one more closely when they get inside. They're late for group breakfast now, but that might be for the best, given the way they look right now. He leans into Kazuichi's shoulder-bump and sets his head on it for a second before he rights himself, asserts himself with a battle stance, and marches forward. "I would relieve you of your burdens if I were not in constant battle for the balance of the realm and that which would seek to obliterate it." He says, gesturing down with his chin toward the scrabbling ball of fur against his chest.

Kazuichi laughs, lifting the box up to readjust his grip. "Nah don't worry about it, it's not that heavy. You just focus on what you need to." Not like carrying a box of stationary and a blanket is difficult. He motions for Gundham to follow, walking closely beside him as they make their way back. He can see fatigue catching up to him, the way he looks down at the hamsters makes it no secret at all. They'll eat and then he'll make sure he actually goes to bed. "Why don't we drop everything off at your room and then go eat?"

"Including at least the most mutinous of my soldiers," he agrees while they walk - by the time they're descending the stairs into the main building's below-ground lobby, Mononoke has calmed down a little bit. Gundham knows better than to trust an exhausted rodent, though, and so he gives her enough room to peek out between his fingers and get some fresh air and glimpse at where they're headed.

The hallway smells funny as they wander down it to Gundham's room. The hamsters seem to pick up on it, too, all of them with their bodies stock-still and noses in the air, excitedly snuffling. He's on a mission, though. Whatever it is is completely ignored for now. No time for it. He opens the door to the room and gives it a once-over - since it doesn't lock anymore, he's always a little worried someone will come by, but he probably shouldn't be. The hamster cage is his first stop - Mononoke is emptied out first. She stands at the edge of the cage and peers out into the void like she may jump again, so he stands with his hip to the opening while he starts to navigate the others to their spots.

"You know though, I mean it when I say I can deal with the laundry - you've been up all night." Kazuichi lays the blanket out on the bed, discarding his shirt with Gundham's other dirty clothes and setting the box off to the side. 

"Wouldn't dare to dream of sending you to such a place without a ward," he mutters, looking back at him - honestly, though, he's thinking about taking him up on the offer. He's only coming up on hour eighteen, he shouldn't be this tired.

"It's really not a big deal. I've done my own laundry plenty of times, it's not really a big deal." But his concern is sweet. He'll be the one hanging them up to dry when it's done anyway so there wouldn't be much for Gundham to do anyway. He walks over to him and kisses his cheek. "Let's just focus on getting you fed. Then we'll see how you're doing after. If I think you're awake enough, you can come with me."

Oh, right. Kazuichi probably has done his laundry here multiple times. It hadn't really occurred to him. He leans into the kiss, heavily enough that he stumbles a little, and hums. "If you think I'm awake enough? How can I rely on you for fair assessment?!" He redirects his focus back to the cage, closing it up and patting himself down to make sure he's alone in his clothes. He puts his scarf on, too, even though it's scratchy and smells like greenery. He pats Kazuichi on the back and leads him from behind out of the room, shutting the door behind them.

His nose scrunches as they approach the dining room - it smells like...eggs and onions, spice, bread, and molasses, what normally would be a stomach-churning sort of mixture way more appealing than it should be with as hungry as he is. Or, that's what he thinks must be the case - that whatever Akane is throwing together must only appeal to him out of desperation, but upon peeking in the doorway, they're both greeted with about a third of breakfast still remaining. Most of it has been picked over and left a mess (not as much of a mess as Gundham would have expected), but the variety of scraps and leftovers tell a vivid story. None of the dirty plates are left, all picked up and put away, but the serving trays are, whether they have things on them still or not. Gundham even finds the smell of ham alluring, even though he knows that it's garbage scraps that they'd been freezing specifically to keep until someone more talented could use them and make them edible. And the fact that he wouldn't be allowed to eat it, anyway. There's a corner of the table that's familiar. Obviously improvised, given the circumstances and what food was available, but familiar, and where Gundham had thought to stall and wait for the culprit to emerge, he falls for the trap without any extra hesitation. He ducks past Kazuichi into the dining room and beelines straight for the food left out for him: fruit salad delicately cut into little flowers and cats' faces, lids over deep plates of toast with egg whites, sashimi and rice and broccoli. He might cry.

Kazuichi had been a bit excited when he figured out what the smell was, it's not that the food they eat is always bad or never smells this good, but it indicates that effort has been put into the morning meal and Kazuichi can't say he isn't hungry. Clearly someone was in a good mood this morning. And watching how fast Gundham is to get to his seat, watching how his eyes light up seeing all of the options...it makes him wonder how hard food used to be for him. How hard it is for him now when he's not accommodated. He finds himself incredibly happy to see him so grateful for basic thoughtfulness, smiling to himself as he gets them both some water. "Good food then?" He asks gently as he places water in front of him. Gundham's already started eating without him. He's glad fruit can still taste as good as it does, even the canned stuff. Kazuichi is a little grateful not everyone is here to witness the mess of their bodies and the other can eat in peace, but it does mean the meal goes unthanked. Maybe he should learn how to do all of this…

Gundham is packing food away - hurried at first, but once he has a couple of bites down and Kazuichi had brought some water, he's slowed down and pulled both of his feet up onto the chair, how he perches when he really can't be bothered to pretend to be normal or polite in any capacity at all. He hums and nods, switching to room temperature and slightly soggy toast. It's fantastic. He's more than happy to share the bowl with him, but when it comes to the other things, he's a little more protective - there's not as much of it, and it's made for him, thank you. Kazuichi can pick from any of the rest. He doesn't speak for a little while - at least until he can be sure that he's feeling a little more stable - but when he does, it's very convincingly theatrical. "Vile tongues can detect the smallest offering within even the most detestable heaps of human trash. My skilled senses have led me here by no coincidence or happenstance. I have been summoned, lured, surrounded with the dregs of humanity's final effort transmogrified into essence that only I could subsist of." God, he likes melon. Slices carved expertly out of what was undoubtedly a half-rotten host and then salted on alternating petals. 

There's a light rap of knuckles on the doorframe that Gundham doesn't bother to look up for, too busy putting far too much faith into the cuts of fish that he's slamming back. "Sorry about the cold food. I probably shoulda guessed that Gundham of all people was gon' show up late. You deserve a way better honeymoon spread than that." Gundham barely manages to rein himself in from ignoring Teruteru completely - but even without being driven by a need to be polite, he finds that not being thankful at all leaves him a little uncomfortable, so he finally peeks up. 

"Or perhaps it is the other way 'round - I have beckoned you forth, and in that way, you ought to provide to me your thanks in this and then tenfold onwards," he teases, of course. Mostly. He expects it to be taken quite well, but, well.

"Oh- my god, Teruteru!" Kazuichi actually seems excited to see him. They're not the closest, but they're on much better terms with each other than he is with some other people in the class. Teruteru looks a bit like Gundham had when he first woke up - a little shell shocked. He seems to be doing much better than he had, though. "You can't have woken up too long ago, how are you feeling?"

"Ah, well," Teruteru laughs, walking over and sitting himself in a chair. There's a fear, perhaps concern, etched into his expression that he can't quite hide, something most of them emerge with and some of them still have today. "Well enough to be making all this. But you look like you had a night..."

Kazuichi flushes, turning away and covering his cheek. "I-It's...not a kink thing." This time - he'd had the same brief thought in his head but this was just sweet! This was them being cute! "Is it...really that important?"

"You two are practically the talk of the town! And you know, I could not be more happy catering to lovebirds."

Gundham doesn't react - it's almost like he hasn't even really realized what's been said to them until Kazuichi says something about kinks and he shakes his head incredulously, looking between the two of them. "If any of this had been done for my pleasure there would be no extraneous markings upon my flesh," he raises a hand and wiggles his stained fingers before he goes back to eating, a little more discerning now - he goes to pick through things but finds that there's nothing that's bad, especially, or even undesirable, so he just sort of...keeps going, for now. "This was a battle to the very end."

"...So it's like that?" Teruteru, apparently, doesn't know any better than to leave Gundham alone, despite very rarely getting a rise out of him worth all the prodding.

He just nods solemnly - yes, lovebird is completely fine a descriptor, he doesn't mind that - and then realizes partway through that he hasn't been saving any snacks for the Spirit Soldiers and starts pocketing things. "You would be my caterer regardless of whether I were to be betrothed or trapped alone in a faraway tower. It is only what I could begin to deem fair, after all of the benevolence I've shown you."

"Hey, I was doing a good job at helping you keep within your diet!" Kazuichi frowns at him and watches as Gundham forces his way into the pockets on the jacket to slip food in. What does he need to be stashing all this food away now for, anyway, he's going to be heading to sleep not too long from now. "Not as good as always getting something specially made for you, but I was still helping!" But he does get it. Having good food made with your specific taste in mind must make Gundham feel a bit cared for and he's really in no position to claim he's better than a literal professional.

Gundham furrows his brows and squints up at him - Kazuichi's been deemed his betrothed and he has concerns about being given accolades regarding his cooking? "No, but you allow me to help, which is more than can be said for the realm which I'm excluded from by way of a curse of combustion upon my blood." He did really enjoy cooking with him and Sonia, even if he was mostly on dish-duty by his own choice.

Kazuichi sighs, shaking his head. "This one is going to be sleeping all day for the foreseeable future though." He feels the need to warn Teruteru ahead of time so he's not wasting food or effort. He probably shouldn't be overworking himself given he likely hasn't been up for more than a day anyway.

The 'warning' has Teruteru raising his brows and waiting for explanation. "...And you'll be in bed with him, then?"

"No. I still need to be available if something fucks up." Not that Kazuichi really wants that to be the only reason he doesn't get as much time with him, but it's how things are right now. There is a pause though as he brings his water to his lips. "...maybe sometimes." Because if Gundham asked him to stay, he wouldn't dream of refusing. And they'd only be sleeping! Unless they can somehow figure out how to stop making noise! "We're just going to be hanging out in the mornings and evenings before sleeping! So just assume Gundham won't be there for lunch, that's all I'm saying!"

Teruteru looks a little crestfallen. It's eerie, the way he drops the subject, and Gundham almost feels a need to prod him. Almost. Even if he did want to, he's not sure he knows what to say. The idea of saying something sexual in front of other people without proper provocation seems...eugh. No thank you. 

"Got it. Make sure he's stuffed full 'fore he's let loose." Teruteru gives them a thumbs-up.

Gundham wraps the rest of an eggwhite and what rice has stuck to the plate in the last bit of toast and jams it into his cheek to work on and give him an excuse not to talk to anyone, sitting back, finally, onto his butt and out of the squat he'd been holding. He turns to Kazuichi and gestures back at the table silently, as if asking him if he's gotten his turn. Kazuichi just pats him on the knee, a silent don't worry about it. He's eaten, well, picked at small bites of food but still eaten, and he doesn't want to hold Gundham up too much giving the tiredness in his eyes.

"Regardless...man I can only imagine how you're feeling. Like, what, one day awake and you're already cooking this much?" He is a little upset he missed Teruteru's reaction to their food situation but well...he had better things to be doing this morning. "We should properly catch up or something, feels like way too long since we talked casually." Which...it has been, really, given how long ago now high school was but still. "But first, I need to make sure dark lord over here doesn't pass out in the hallway."

Gundham is drowning himself when Kazuichi turns the attention back to him, and he lowers the half-empty cup a little sheepishly and glares. "I am fine." He's only had maybe three total panic freakouts today, cum once, and walked across the island. He's got some juice left in him, especially now that he's full and hydrated. "...My terrible mirage shudders under the strain of impending tumult. What the wind has whipped up does surprisingly little to maintain the desiccated image of he who has been designed the body of men." 

"I'm sure you are." Hypocritical of him to say, but Gundham should go to bed to not ruin the schedule he's trying to start up again. "You still need to get cleaned up and I still need to tuck you in." He feels as clean as he can without soap and water but...he's fairly certain he still smells a bit of sex. "Come on, we're way past sunrise, this isn't very nocturnal of you."

The slight twinge of sheepishness turns into a blush that Gundham stuffs into his scarf, scoffing, "'Tuck me in'..." but he stands up suddenly anyway, scooting out from the table and shoving his chair back in, ignoring the plates and cup he leaves behind, instead giving a spirited explanation, "I rescind my offer to guide you into the depths only because you have made an uncharacteristically astute strategic maneuver open to my taking - the Eye is indeed upon us. I'll put every ounce of my power into settling this score on your behalf...another time." He claps a hand onto Kazuichi's back and starts on his way out, waiting impatiently for the other to follow while Teruteru gathers plates, looking unamused but unwilling to interrupt. He's still watching them carefully, like he's waiting for them to do something more interesting.

"H-Hey, wait!" He jumps a little with the slap, turning to watch as Gundham walks away. "You're just gonna-..." Kazuichi gestures slightly to the plates, only to frown to himself. "Sorry, Teruteru, I'll make it up to you though! We should totally talk later if Hajime doesn't have you doing rehabilitation stuff!" He seems rather quick to stand up himself now that Gundham's decided it's time to leave, pulling himself up and jogging after his boyfriend. "Gundham!" The second he can, Kazuichi hugs his arm, pouting up at him. "You're meant to wait for me."

Gundham opens an arm and hooks it around the other's, holding him close to his side. Again, a little too close to be comfortable to walk, but nice for one who craves close contact. He scowls down at the look with as much fake frustration as he can muster. It isn't much for him, but for the average person to view it would mean instant vaporization. "Am I? And undermine your self-sufficiency?" It's mostly a tease, but he is also blinking with a genuine curiosity while he offers his hand palm-up to him. "I wouldn't have gone anywhere you could not follow."

Kazuichi lets their fingers intertwine, something about those words making his heart squeeze. "I know. It'd be mean of you if you did." But it's so nice having someone who wants to have him around to this degree. So nice to be able to hold and be held. He's...not even sure what made him want all of this with Gundham but it feels right. "You don't gotta worry about my self sufficiency." It practically goes out the window the second they're sitting next to each other anyway. "Speaking of which, though, I take it you want to shower alone?"

"...I'd at least like a moment as I prepare a routine declaration of lands of mine, but once it's wreathed in my flame you once again have hold of my heart." He tightens his grip around Kazuichi's hand as he shoulder-checks him sloppily into the bedroom and follows after, already stripping off his scarf, all full of leaves and gnats.

Kazuichi laughs, gently elbowing him as they enter and pulling off the coat. "Here, you get all the little pieces you stashed out of the pockets so this thing can get washed, I'll get the twigs and shit out of your scarf." He hands it to him while simultaneously taking the scarf, pulling out a small leaf and letting it fall to the floor. "Let me know when you're all done and we can shower." He'd offer to go the whole nine yards and completely clean Gundham for him, do his hair and all, but he probably should take care of his contacts and not wear them while showering.

Gundham nods as they trade articles of clothing, "Treat it as if your life depends upon its survival," and starts raiding the pockets for fruit pieces so he can put them near the hamsters' food dish. He puts the coat over the back of his chair and works on pulling his shirt off while he scoots into the bathroom. Kazuichi knows what he's doing, so he doesn't really feel the need to close the door just to open it again in a second. He finishes up quickly and starts to run the shower to adjust the temperature to his own liking, "Coming?"

Kazuichi had sat on the bed picking out debris from the scarf before being called over, happily scrabbling off the bed and taking his contacts out before kicking off his pants. He wraps his arms around Gundham's neck, both so he can kiss him and be sure he gets in the shower without any issues. "If you hadn't wanted company, I would've gone to put the washing on while you were busy." He would've certainly had enough time, and by the time he'd left the room again, it would've probably been done. But he'll gladly trade efficiency for more quality time.

"Mm," Gundham hums and moves a little awkwardly, slowly, into the shower, taking Kazuichi with him. "Why wouldn't I?" He lets his arms under the water and watches as a little bit of ink comes off - not enough to make the marks any lighter, but enough to make what gathers around the drain a light green colour. Hmm. Well, he'll use himself as a test subject for how much force is necessary to scrub it off.

"Because showering together is awkward." He shrugs. It kind of is and they can both admit it, he just likes being close with him and doesn't want to have to wait an hour for Gundham to be done. "And maybe you wanted to bask in some silence, I don't know..."

"Is it?" The warm water has the waking world losing him a little, but he can pay attention. He can stay with it. He leans back and ducks his head under the spray, putting his hands over his face so he can take a deep breath while he relaxes into the heat. He yawns and shakes his head violently to keep awake. "I'll do that soon. Also, you're capable of being silent, I have seen it." He wipes his face down with his hands and then, finally, forces himself to tug the washcloth off of the drying rack just outside the shower door. He gives it an experimental sniff and, once he deems it fine to use - whether he's judging harshly or not in his dozing state is hard to tell - loads it up with soap and gets started trying to clean off his arms.

"I know. I just also know you really like your showers." Kazuichi's hands travel up into Gundham's hair, scratching him gently. He's still trying to figure out how to replicate the way he likes it done...and it reminds him that he should've brushed his hair before getting in. His vision is too blurry to really watch him do anything, instead Kazuichi just opts to keep himself as close as possible and indulge in the quality time. He should be making the most of it after all. "...weird, I don't feel like I've seen you yawn before."

Gundham sniffs and hums in acknowledgment, closing his eyes and leaning his head back into the touch. Oh, it feels so good. He opens his mouth to retort but yawns again, waving a hand in front of his face to try to get it to go away faster. It squeezes a couple of tears out of him, which he wipes away with the back of his hand, trying not to get soap in his eyes. "Make the most of it, then," he says, winding down, "mmmh." Maybe he does understand what's awkward about showering together now - he does have to wipe down his everything, but to be fair, Kazuichi has either seen it or will have to see it at some point, so he's not terribly worried about showing his ass. Literally or metaphorically. "If you bring anything near to me while I do so you'll have it bitten off," he warns,  baring his teeth, "remember that I am dangerous."

"Nah, you're too tall for that anyway." He jokes, letting Gundham get most of himself scrubbed down before leaning in and pressing his face into his jaw line. He feels warm during and in the minutes after a shower. It's a little strange given how cold his skin usually is, but Kazuichi finds it comfortable. His reddened complexion from having the water too hot for too long, how he's absolutely perfect to hold as he's cooling off especially with the air conditioning of their rooms. He should stop forming such strong opinions about things he's barely experienced in their relationship so far. "You're very dangerous." Kazuichi's hand trails back up into his hair, massaging his scalp. "A deadly kitty cat..."

"I meant your dirty little claws," But he very happily lets Kazuichi smother himself in his neck, anyway, groaning as the hand runs over him and makes him shiver, a sound he quickly turns into a low growl. No, he's scary, he's not pliant and deeply in love, look! He can sound scary. "...How fares the crown? Does it need a full and thorough baptism, or is it..." He thinks, a little too long, "...or is it fine?"

Kazuichi hums in thought, letting his other hand trail up and mimic the first. "Hard to tell when it's wet..." He mumbles. He feels like he's getting the hang of this head scratching thing. "If you want me to wash it, I will." It might not be great given their height difference, but he's more than willing to still give it a go. "Or we can just...stay like this until you wanna get out."

He wants to keep being pet, so...he nods and leans over, palms on his knees, head low enough now for Kazuichi to reach and stay comfortable. He shakes out his hair and looks up through wet bangs at Kazuichi. "Don't leave yet," he mutters, closing his eyes again.

"I wasn't going to." He laughs gently, carding his fingers through his hair. But surely standing like that is going to get uncomfortable even as Kazuichi steps closer to let Gundham lean on him a bit. Another reason a bath would be more fitting. "You really okay standing like that?"

Oh, it's going to eventually get extremely uncomfortable, but the sacrifice is well worth it. He's warm and he's having petting maneuvers tested on him, what else could he possibly realistically ask for? It takes Gundham a second to respond, half hoping that the silence will convince Kazuichi better than words might, "Work quickly and your efforts will be rewarded with a quiet and amicable experience among your crew," he mumbles, tilting his head - the water feels good on the side of his face, but a droplet hits his ear and makes him start a little and shake himself out again

Kazuichi just smiles down at him, kissing his temple. "Quickly?" He says, reaching with one hand to grab what he's pretty sure is shampoo. "But I thought you liked taking your time with this." He returns to his petting with the added product, massaging it throughout his scalp with no real plan.

Gundham sighs happily, tilting his head to the side to keep it from dripping into his eyes. "I'll take the time now ," he hums, leaning into the hand.

"Now that you're getting cleaned?" Kazuichi laughs gently, Gundham's hair slowly becoming a mess of white suds. He guides his head more into the water and tilts him back, doing his best to keep the soapy water out of his eyes as it gets rinsed out. For all his nerves earlier, Gundham surprises himself with how easy it is to just relax into Kazuichi's hands, letting him move him with very little hesitation. He fights some tilting angles with furrowed brows and makes faces when Kazuichi clips an ear or something drips down his face, but he doesn't pull away or argue. He just grunts in affirmation.

Kazuichi grabs the other bottle - what he can only assume is conditioner - and goes through the same process. He's close enough that Gundham can lean his head on him, scratching through his hair and watch the black blur become white with bubbles all over again. The warmth, the constant noise, and the contact are all rather calming. Kazuichi had never really thought about it before but it really is so soothing to have almost white noise surrounding him. The conditioner gets rinsed out but he doesn't stop carding fingers through his hair. "Need me to dry you after this too?"

"Need? No. Would I send you psychic waves of blessings to express my gratitude?" He makes a thoughtful so-so noise. "Maybe."

"Right, yes, of course." There's a gentle tease in his tone but only because he finds this all rather endearing. "Well, if you want me to dry you, you have to get up so we can get out." He pats his back but makes no attempt to stop playing with his hair.

Gundham's limp hanging arms go to wrap around Kazuichi's waist, hanging off of his hipbones. "I executed my power earlier - ah, last night - to teleport you. Surely if we are equals you can pull a similar feat." He wouldn't ask Kazuichi to carry him, obviously. But stay close? Sure. He wanders a little bit, slowly, only as fast as he can manage to do without letting go. Until he gets cold, anyway, and then he's finishing up and hopping out to get towels as quick as he can get himself to go.

Kazuichi considers that for a moment. He's sure that Gundham probably isn't in the best of health physically.  He's never been particularly heavy in terms of average weight, but over the last few years with food scarcity he imagines Gundham hasn't gained very much since the last time he needed to pick him up. And Kazuichi has stayed rather consistent with his lifting… He gently encourages Gundham to wait, wrapping the towel around him and drying himself off first before focusing on the other. "Tired yet?" He asks as he dries his hair.

Gundham blearily dries himself with the towel given to him, ending up only looking up at Kazuichi as he's working on his calves and ankles. "I can do anything I set my power to achieve. Including rest, whenever it is safely available. I'm not tired, I'm skilled." He's being contrarian just for the sake of it now. Having his bluff called isn't the end of the world - in fact, he might welcome it. A little tease. An insistence that he do something good for him, like sleep…

Kazuichi hums, wrapping the towel around himself before taking Gundham's to finish the job. "So am I unskilled if I fall asleep when I'm tired?"

Gundham nods as he hands over the reins, "Yes. In that area of expertise." He thought he was pretty straightforward about that. They might have equal levels of power, but in different places. That's fine, but Gundham is obviously much better at it, from his own perspective. He pulls a breath in and then slowly lets it out as he stands up straight. Kazuichi's hands on him, even through a towel, is odd, especially when he isn't doing anything in return. Maybe it's because he's too tired to be flighty as a result, but he doesn't chase that feeling away - he sits with it. Pays very close attention to what Kazuichi does. Where he touches and where he doesn't. What gestures he uses to get Gundham to lift his arms or turn a little. How even without Gundham showing him any obvious distress, he's still cool and casual and sweet - or, at least, no harm is being done.

Kazuichi hangs the towel around Gundham's neck when he’s done, squeezing his upper arms. There's a momentary pause before he wraps one arm around him, bending down to hook the other under Gundham's knees to lift him. It's a minor struggle, especially with his extra height, but he's certain he can at least manage to get him to the bed. "Well. Come on then, mister great-and-powerful. You can show off your sleeping skills."

The calm that had swept over Gundham shatters when Kazuichi pulls him off the ground , a flash of panic rushing through him as Kazuichi wobbles and he holds as tightly as he can, as if being dropped from this paltry height would kill him, or maybe Kazuichi will bash his head on the doorframe. He's not looking forward to either, his heart leaping a little. He still doesn't fight, though. It would be silly to do so, he risks being fumbled. He’s very careful maneuvering him, especially around the door, but once they make it through, he does end up laying Gundham down. Taking the towel off of him, he tosses it to one side to deal with when he can see properly, pulling the blanket over him and leaning down to press his face to Gundham's jaw. He kisses him, a hand returning to his hair now that they're both in a more comfortable position. "I'm not gonna keep you up when you were awake all night."

Gundham settles down - what flush had bubbled up in him was hidden pretty effectively by the residual warmth of the shower, but now it all starts to lighten up, too. "I would hope not. Mutinous beast." He mutters - since when were these beds this comfortable? And since when was having Kazuichi's face smeared all over his skin make him so immediately docile? "...I didn't think you could do that," he confides eventually, after holding him close silently for a moment.

Kazuichi kisses his cheek, taking the chance to cuddle with him a bit before they part ways again. "No...don't want you exhausting yourself." He slowly scratches his scalp, head laying on his shoulder. "Think you'll be alright if I get up after you're asleep? I won't disturb you too much?"

Gundham happily lets his eyes close and uses lazy fingers to see his way around Kazuichi's upper body and face. "It will wake me on account of my ever-vigilance," he mumbles, "but that's...fine." He can't imagine being upset about being reminded that Kazuichi was there to begin with and that he's now going to get the bed all to himself, anyway. Seems like only positives.

"Good..." Kazuichi slides himself close enough to rest Gundham's head against his chest, his other hand gently dragging his nails up and down his back. He'll try to leave when he reaches the deepest part of sleep then... "I'll head out eventually cause there are some things I want to do but I'll make sure I'm back before sundown to be here when you wake up." He promises quietly, staring off into the distance to not convince himself to fall asleep. Kazuichi stays there long after Gundham's fallen asleep, petting him and trying to keep his mind occupied enough to not fall into the trap of a nap. Just to make sure Gundham is completely asleep by the time he pulls away. Or as much as he can be before Kazuichi gets bored of the silence. He does eventually pull away though, one last kiss to his temple before fully standing up. He puts his contacts back on first and gathers up their discarded clothes...only then realising that now he doesn't have any to actually wear so he fumbles through Gundham's drawer to get himself a shirt and some pants. He's only like ten centimetres taller, shouldn't make that much of a difference in how well they fit. (It does feel a little strange knowing that wearing them at all is okay. Even if they aren't really Gundham's clothes and he probably hasn't even worn these yet...)

Kazuichi makes the trip to the laundry room with both their clothes, grabbing whatever else needs to be cleaned from his own room and leaves them to do their thing for an hour. It didn't look like it was going to rain earlier so he'd probably be able to get away with air-drying it all later. He then takes himself on a walk outside, partly because he's trying to avoid being ridiculed for his face drawing and partly because it's really the best use of his time. With no indoor projects he can be working on, finding things to do outdoors is actually the better option. So he decides to explore a bit. He and Gundham have looked around some of the buildings, but far from all of them, and he's honestly curious to know what things are left over from however long ago it was the place was abandoned. He takes himself to the cabins, honestly curious to see if they're significantly different in real life. Aside from the sheets being a bit different in each one and the layer of dust on everything, they seem to be fairly identical, much like the rest of the buildings he's been in. The weird, out of place stuff is all gone, but the fundamentals of the area kept similar with the program so the design either pulled from a very accurate resource or they came here before even designing the program at all. He's fairly certain he and Gundham could probably stay in one of these places if he spent some time cleaning it up rather than sleeping on floors just to keep from disturbing people. Though, he wouldn't trust the water, even if it does turn out that it works.

In one of the cabins though, Kazuichi comes across a few cushions. Probably something left behind from whoever was staying there last given that they don't match the room's colour scheme. They're a soft almost pastel shade of blue, made of some kind of material that makes them much less rough than he was expecting them to be. He stares at them for a moment, picking one up and squishing it in his hands. Perhaps… Ever since Kazuichi found out Gundham actually does love stuffed animals, he's been wanting to make him one. The biggest problems being that materials aren't in easy access right now and he's sure Gundham would be a stickler for accuracy even in a toy. But these mixed with some recycled bed sheets could work so well. And even if he can't find a sewing kit, he could pull the threads out of other things...they should at least have needles. Intended or sewing stitches into skin, granted, but he's sure they could still work and it wouldn't be so bad if he took one.

It takes longer than expected, but he does finish before sunset. It was a bit harder creating a template than he'd initially thought while trying to reference images he found in the library, but the sewing process itself was only a few hours. He smiles at the creature he's made - not bad for something he made on a whim. Perhaps he'll have to make more at some point.