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Chapter Text

“There you two are!” The happy voice of Kathryn called out and echoed through the Astrometrics Lab.

Seven, however, did not turn around as she kept her eyes trained on the big screen in front of her on which she was calculating the parameters for her scans.

She could hear Icheb’s reply though. “Hello, Captain. You look very nice.”

This made Seven curious and she threw a glance over her shoulder.

Kathryn did look very nice. She was wearing a Christmas sweater. It was red, Seven’s favorite color, and had a pattern of white snowflakes and reindeer on it. The sight made Seven feel strangely lightheaded for a moment.

But then she realized that the Captain must have come to the Astrometrics Lab on a mission which in turn made Seven feel a little apprehensive.

“Thank you, Icheb,” Kathryn said happily as Seven turned back to her screen. “I was looking for you two, but I didn’t realize you were still working.”

A few seconds of silence followed but Seven was not going to be the one to break it. She did not want to explain why they were there.

Icheb sighed loud enough for Seven to hear him. “Seven found a strange reading in one of our routine scans and she said that we should check it out.”

“What kind of reading?” Kathryn asked and despite her Christmas attire, her Captain’s voice came through.

Seven pulled up the reading on one of the side screens and pointed at it. “It originates from a planet at the edge of the maximum capacity of our long-range scans.”

“So… it is nowhere near us?” Kathryn asked.

“That is correct,” Seven agreed reluctantly, already guessing where the conversation was going. “Still, I think we should find out what it means. It could mean weapons fire or an attempt at communication.”

“Or it means absolutely nothing,” Icheb chimed in from the back in an annoyed voice. “It could simply be background radiation.”

Seven threw a stern look at him that Kathryn clearly noticed.

She raised one of her eyebrows. Something that Seven had seen her do so many times before.

Then the Captain asked, “Seven, who gave you this assignment? Who told you to investigate this?”

“No one did,” Seven replied while her fingers kept working on her console. “I took the initiative myself.”

“And I admire that,” Kathryn said while holding up her hands for a moment. “But you two have worked hard enough over the past few weeks. Perhaps it is time for a break?”

Seven did not respond.

But Kathryn pushed on. “You do remember there is a Christmas party planned for tomorrow?”

And there it was. Probably the real reason why the Captain had come to the Lab.

Seven hung her head with a sigh. “Yes, I remember.”

“You don’t want to go?”

The tone of Kathryn’s voice had changed drastically and Seven looked up, feeling somehow a little startled.

She looked deep in her Captain’s eyes as she always did when she was trying to read the emotional responses there. But once again, she got lost in their stormy grayness.

“I…” Seven stammered. “I think I could use my time more productively.”

Kathryn’s shoulders now sagged visibly. “Come on, Seven. It is only one party. On Christmas Eve! Surely you were not planning on working then?”

“I was, actually.” Seven turned her attention back to her screen.

Icheb suddenly interrupted their conversation. Seven had almost forgotten that he was there. “Well, I’m not working tomorrow evening!” He said strongly. “I jolly well plan on going to the party.”

Kathryn threw a small smile at him and then turned back to Seven. “Seven?”

Seven sighed again, getting a little irritable. “Captain, these readings are not a figment of my imagination.”

“I never said they were!”

“They could really mean something. Don’t you think that it would be a better use of our resources and time to investigate them?”

This time Kathryn laughed a little and despite the circumstances, the sound still made a shiver go through Seven’s body.

“Seven, there is always going to be a next mystery to investigate. This Delta Quadrant is filled with things we don’t understand. That shouldn’t stop us from celebrating Christmas.”

“Christmas is an Earth tradition and yet we are not on Earth,” Seven countered. “Does that not make it irrelevant?”

“Irrelevant?” Kathryn actually took a step back as if Seven had pushed her. “How can you say that?”

The hurt in Kathryn’s voice only made Seven more irritable. She did not like the wave of guilt that briefly washed over her. It made her angry.

“Captain, I only meant that it is just an ancient holiday. A holiday that was celebrated on Earth. We are a Federation ship. Why do we have to celebrate Christmas this year?”

“We don’t have to.” Kathryn shook her head. “We chose to do it this year. You know we always try to pay attention to any Federation holiday. Well, this year we wanted to pay closer attention to Christmas and what it stands for.”

“Too much food and wasteful decorations?” Seven asked before she could stop herself.

“No,” Kathryn said, and she also sounded a little angry now. “Christmas is more than just a holiday. More than sharing food and having decorations. It is about opening your heart to other people. It is a holiday that reminds us of the importance of love…” Her voice halted for a moment. “And friendship. It reminds the crew of the family they left behind in the Alpha Quadrant.”

Seven bristled at the emotions in Kathryn’s voice even though she did not fully understand why. She did not want to offend her Captain but at the same time she didn’t want to abandon her principles.

“Considering that I never really lived on Earth and have no family to miss, I will not be joining you in your celebration, Captain,” she finally said and the coldness in her voice surprised even herself a little.

She did not turn to see the expression on Kathryn’s face and kept her eyes fixed on the readings on her screen.

The silence pressed in on her ears and from the corner of her eye she could see that Kathryn was still standing next to her.

Then she sighed and turned around to leave. “I’m sorry to hear that, Seven. Icheb, I hope to see you tomorrow evening then.”

“I’ll be there, Captain,” he said in a soft voice.

Seven looked over her shoulder just in time to see the doors of the Astrometrics Lab close behind the Captain. Then she noticed Icheb shaking his head at her before turning his attention back to his screen without saying another word.

They continued to work in silence. At first Seven felt a residual emotional state of discomfort that she did not quite understand and she tried very hard to push it away.

She told herself that she should be allowed to keep the holidays as she wanted to and if she decided not to participate in the wastefulness of Christmas, that should not be a problem.

She had finally convinced herself that she had done nothing wrong, and she was able to focus on her work again when the doors opened up once more and another voice boomed through the Lab.

“Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!” Neelix shouted so loudly that Seven had to close her eyes against the sudden noise.

“Hello, Neelix,” Icheb laughed. “What are those?”

This question intrigued Seven enough to turn around. She noticed with horror that Neelix was pushing a cart filled with little trees of the conifer family into her Lab. The trees were shedding needles all over her clean floor.

“Yes, Neelix,” she said through clenched teeth. “What are those and why are they here?”

“I’m glad you asked.” Neelix clapped his hands together. Only now did Seven notice that he was wearing a large red hat with a white trim and a white ball at the end of the long pointy end. “These two are your personal Christmas trees!” He lifted up two of the specimens proudly.

Icheb eagerly walked toward him and took one of the trees in his hands as if he was being handed a beautiful gift. “My own Christmas tree?”

“Yes,” Neelix laughed. “We are decorating the Mess Hall this year with one Christmas tree for every crewman! You can decorate it the way you like and that way we can get to know each other a little bit better. They will represent us all and they should tell us what you love most about Christmas.”

Seven scoffed and turned back to her screen again while muttering. “Ridiculous.”

“Seven?” Neelix asked her. “Where should I put your tree?”

“You can keep it, Mr. Neelix.” Seven started working on her calculations again. “I will not be needing it.”

“You won’t decorate your tree?” Neelix asked in a slow voice. “But… we need it. We need your light, Seven!”

“Why?” Seven asked, getting really angry now as she whirled around. A part of her mind wondered if she could put a new lock on the Astrometrics doors and get away with it so that she could work in peace. “Are the lights in the Mess Hall malfunctioning?”

“Well… No,” Neelix laughed. “But they–”

“Then I don’t see why you need these trees, Mr. Neelix,” Seven bit out. “To me this is all a terrible waste of our resources. I assume you replicated these trees?”

“Why, yes,” Neelix answered. “Every single one.”

“Of course you did.” Seven turned around again, facing her screens. “Then you can put mine back in the replicator, to recycle the resources.”

“I… I’ll keep it for a bit longer, Seven,” Neelix said quietly. “In case you change your mind.”

Seven swallowed her reply and kept working.

After a while she heard the doors close again and, judging by the diminished smell of pine, Neelix and his trees had left.

“I will decorate my tree, Seven,” Icheb called out to her. “And I think you should too.”

Seven glanced at him over her shoulder. “I’m disappointed in you, Icheb. I thought you would understand the importance of our work.”

Icheb frowned. “I’m sorry you are disappointed in me, Seven. But I guess… that is part of being a family. You disappoint each other from time to time.”

And with those words he turned around, cradling his tree in his arms, and left the Lab.

Seven stared at the closed doors. She had not actually expected Icheb to leave too. Not while their work wasn’t finished yet.

With a frown she turned back to her screen. These social situations still confused her and at this time she only wanted to focus on her work. These scientific readings at least made sense to her. They were clear and factual.

With a tiny shrug, trying to push away her feelings, she got back to work.

Hours later, Seven walked through the corridors of Voyager to get back to the Cargo Bay. She had decided that she would regenerate for a few hours while the configuration of her scans was being loaded into the Computer. That way she would be able to tackle the results with a fresher perspective in the morning.

She felt quite pleased with the amount of work that she had been able to finish, even without Icheb and with all the interruptions.

But as she walked through the corridors, her conversations with Neelix and Kathryn were forced back on her mind.

The halls were decorated. Apparently, someone had replicated Christmas decorations for the long corridors of Voyager too.

She frowned as she passed another branch of holly, and she had to resist the urge to tear it down.

Then her ears picked up the last sound she wanted to hear at that moment.

Singing.

Around the bend of the corridor a crewman appeared. An Ensign who apparently had nothing better to do than walk through the corridors at a slow pace while tormenting everyone with his singing.

“Deck the halls with boughs of holly,” he caroled. “Fa la la la la, la la la la.”

She frowned at him and stopped dead in her tracks. She didn’t know what to point out first. The fact that the halls were already decorated with boughs of holly, that he should refrain from singing while on duty on the night’s shift, or the fact that he was apparently tone deaf as he consistently missed several notes.

“Hello, Seven,” he greeted her cheerfully. “Don’t these decorations just want to make you sing? Will you join me for a moment?”

“No.”

Even though she had wanted to say a lot more, only this one word came out.

Her icy tone was enough though to make him stop smiling and he even took a small step back.

He stared at her as she continued on her way, at a brisk pace without bothering anyone with singing or whistling.

It was a relief to finally reach the darkness of the Cargo Bay. At least no one had dared to put up any decorations here. Seven gradually felt the tension leave her shoulders as she walked over to her familiar looking workstation.

She quickly pulled up the programs that she had been working on in the Astrometrics Lab to check some final details.

As she opened one particular screen, she noticed a light flickering from the corner of her eye.

She looked up in surprise and felt a stab of fear move through her chest.

A Borg Drone was standing in the corner, right next to the platform with alcoves.

Then she recognized him… It was One.

Quickly she blinked, trying to clear her vision of any malfunction that may have occurred. When she opened her eyes again, the image of One was gone.

She quickly looked around and even took a few steps closer to the alcoves, but there was clearly no one else there with her.

She frowned. She hadn’t thought of One in a very long time. She had been quite attached to him of course, he had been her first ‘son’ in a way. Perhaps Icheb mentioning family had triggered the memory…

Seven sighed. Clearly the strain from working so long and her conversations with the others was getting to her.

Especially her talk with Kathryn was bothering her somehow. She regretted nothing that she’d said. But there was still a lingering discomfort. She didn’t like disappointing her Captain. Especially not now that they had grown so close over the past years. She had even thought that maybe…

With a shake of her head, she forged herself not to think of Kathryn and the look in her stormy gray eyes as Seven had told her that she would not celebrate Christmas Eve with her.

Instead, she decided to check the configuration of her scans one more time. She settled in in front of her workstation and then she allowed the rhythm of the work to take over.

She had been working for about an hour when a sudden loud noise made her jump.

A red alert siren.

But not Voyager’s. This was the red alert siren… of a Borg Cube.

Cold sweat broke out over her entire body. Her heartbeat sped up drastically and her breath stopped in her throat. She quickly turned in circles, anticipating a threat to creep up from behind her.

But nothing moved in the darkness. The lights did not flicker. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary.

All that was wrong was the piercing sound filling the air, getting louder and louder now.

“Computer!” Seven called out. “Computer, explain!”

But there was no answering beep.

She quickly pressed her hands against her ears as the sound of the siren became almost unbearable.

She turned to flee to the door, but when she had managed to take several steps… the sound suddenly stopped.

The sudden relief almost made her fall over and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves.

But then another sound reached her sensitive ears.

The shuffling of a Borg Drone moving towards her.

Before she could run to a container that held the phasers, the figure emerged from the darkness.

It was unmistakably a Borg Drone. But she also recognized him.

It was One. Her son from the freak transporter accident that happened so long ago. One, who had died after he sacrificed himself to fend off any further attacks on Voyager from the Borg.

Her very blood ran cold in her veins as she stared at him walking towards her.

He looked whole but strangely transparent. Almost as if he was stuck in a transporter beam and hadn’t fully materialized yet. His dark eyes were fixed on her face.

“Seven,” he called out, his voice echoing as if he was talking to her from far away.

She shook her head, backing away towards the doors with one hand outstretched behind her. “No…” She muttered. “This is not real.”

One tilted his head to the side, as he had done so often when she had explained things to him. “Is it not?”

“No!” Seven said more fervently. “You can’t be here. You are…” Her voice trailed off as she could not utter the word that flashed through her mind.

“Dead?” One asked. “Yes, I am.”

“Ergo, you cannot be here,” Seven concluded.

She turned away to look around for a few seconds. Everything else looked normal and ordinary. The screens still showed the scans she had been working on only a few moments ago. Nothing had changed, except for his presence.

“Just because I am deceased, does not mean that I cannot be here,” One said in a calm voice.

Seven frowned at him. “Yes, it does.”

“Do you not believe in an afterlife?” One asked her as if he was simply asking her another question about individuality as he had done when he was still alive.

“It… It is complicated,” Seven answered.

“Many things are complicated, Seven,” One said in a gentle voice. “But we cannot shy away from them.”

“What do you mean?” Seven asked him, pleading a little because she did not understand what was going on.

“Family is complicated,” One continued. “Like Icheb told you.”

Seven took another step back. “How do you know that?”

“I have watched you, Seven,” One said in a sad voice. “I have seen how you are still clinging to the teachings of the Collective.”

Seven bristled, balling her fists at her side. “I am an individual!”

“So you are.” One tilted his head again. “But that does not mean that you have to be alone.”

“I… I am not alone,” she retorted hesitantly.

“You work very hard to keep others at bay,” One pointed out. “You do not understand yet what It means.”

Seven frowned. “What do you mean by ‘It’?”

One only shook his head. “Christmas of course. But there is no time now. I only came here to warn you.”

“About what?” Seven asked nervously.

One answered her solemnly. “To not be alone like I was in the end.”

Seven flinched, remembering perfectly how he had fought a Borg Sphere all by himself before he had died from his wounds.

One continued. “You will have to learn, Seven. To help you, three Spirits will come to teach you.”

“Spirits?” Seven asked, more confused than ever. “To teach me what?”

“You will see. The first Spirit will arrive at midnight.” One gave her a small smile. “Remember, Seven. Do not cling to the teachings of the Collective. Do not forget who you really are. Do not squander the opportunities you still have to live a full life with others around you. A life that I could never have. Do not be alone… like me.”

As he spoke, he became more transparent until he was hardly visible anymore.

She took a step closer, wanting to ask him what he meant by midnight as it was almost two o’clock now.

But he only gave her one more sad smile and then he dissolved, leaving only a wisp of cold mist behind him.

His final words echoed through the empty space and then suddenly the sound of a million voices followed.

The voices of the Collective, crying out to her.

She whirled around again, trying to see if more Borg Drones had appeared. But no more figures materialized from the mist, only their voices remained.

Suddenly, Seven realized that something was wrong. The voices were not speaking like normal Borg Drones. They were not repeating orders or relaying reports. They were not saying that resistance is futile.

Instead, they called out for family and loved ones. Names were called in anguish. Others called out for their mothers.

The shock of this realization made Seven gasp. As she did, her own voice suddenly drove away all the others.

Silence filled her ears. She couldn’t see or hear anybody else anymore.

She was alone.

“Computer?” She called out, her voice merely a whisper.

But the answering beep followed nonetheless.

“Turn on the lights. Maximum power,” Seven called out quickly.

The lights immediately turned on with another comforting beep.

“Did any entity enter this room after I did?” Seven asked, just to be sure.

“In the past five hours,” the Computer replied. “No one else has been in Cargo Bay Two except for Seven of Nine.”

Seven nodded with a sigh of relief. “Did you register any sounds in the past five hours? Any voices or… sirens?”

“Negative,” the Computer answered. “No sounds were recorded until this conversation.”

Seven stretched her shoulders with determination.

It had all been her imagination. Perhaps she was tired. She had been working rather hard this past week. It had all been in her mind.

She needed to regenerate. After that, she would be able to work more efficiently again.

She briskly walked to the platform and paused in front of her alcove, programming it to stop her regeneration cycle at eight o’clock when the scans were ready to run. That would leave her six hours of regeneration.

She cast one more look around the Cargo Bay and then she stepped into the alcove and allowed her body to regenerate.

Chapter Text

With a start, Seven opened her eyes.

She had a strange feeling that something was wrong, but for a few seconds she could not put her finger on it.

Then she realized that the Computer had not told her whether her regeneration cycle was complete or not. Something that always happened when she was disconnected from her alcove.

“Computer,” Seven said as she quickly scanned the Cargo Bay for anything out of the ordinary. “What time is it?”

“The time is 1200 hours, midnight,” the Computer responded.

Seven frowned. This could not be right. Not only had she started her regeneration at 0200 hours, but her internal clock also told her that it was definitely not midnight. But it could not tell her exactly what time it was either; she was too disoriented for that.

At any rate, it was not 0800 hours, the time she had specified to be woken from her regeneration cycle. So, Seven stepped back into her alcove to regenerate a little more. She closed her eyes, waiting for her body to connect to the alcove.

But then the sound of bells filled the Cargo Bay.

It was not the sound of a warning siren, or any other sound heard on a Federation ship. They were bells; large and small church bells, peeling away with loud and deep but also light and cheering booms.

Seven’s eyes flew open again.

Before her, down the steps that led to her alcove platform, a figure was standing, staring at her.

Frozen with fear, Seven just stared back.

The woman was glowing in a white light. Her hair was white as well, but her face did not show any sign of age. She was wearing a tunic almost like a toga; it was also white and was held together by a golden belt. Her arms were bare, and her muscles were visible. She looked both young and strong, and old and wise. A golden crown was on her head and a bright light streamed from it to illuminate the darkness around them. A branch of holly was in her right hand.

“Hello, Seven,” the woman said in a calm voice that was almost as musical as the bells that had now stopped.

“Who… Who are you?” Seven stammered, still not moving closer.

The woman smiled at her, spreading her arms as the light from her crown flashed for a moment. “I am the Spirit of Christmas Past.”

Seven didn’t know what to say to that. She simply stared at her for a moment and then looked around the room. Suddenly she thought that perhaps someone was playing a joke on her. Perhaps Harry and Tom were trying to prank her. It wouldn’t be the first time. Or maybe Icheb was trying to teach her a lesson.

“Who are you looking for?” The woman asked her gently.

Seven’s eyes flashed back to her. “Whoever put me up to this.”

The woman tilted her head a little to the side. “Didn’t One tell you that I would come?”

“He did,” Seven answered hesitantly. She still felt very unsure about her talk with One. The fact that this Spirit was confirming that it had happened either meant that she was part of the same hallucination or… they both were real.

“Excellent.” The woman smiled. Then she raised her branch of holly and used it to point at the door. “Shall we?”

“Shall we what?” Seven asked, still not moving one step closer.

The Spirit, however, started walking away and moved towards the doors of the Cargo Bay. She looked over her bare shoulder and smiled at Seven. “Shall we begin?”

The doors of the Cargo Bay opened, but instead of finding the decorated corridors of Voyager behind them, Seven could see a snowy dark landscape stretching out into the distance.

Her curiosity was piqued, and she stepped off the platform so that she could see clearer outside.

“Please, follow me,” the Spirit said as she walked onto the snow and her bare feet left perfect footprints in it.

Seven could not resist the temptation to find out more and followed the Spirit. As she stepped onto the snow herself, she bent down and put her fingers to it, feeling its coldness. If this was a hallucination, at least her senses were part of it.

“Is this the Holodeck?” Seven asked looking around as she unconsciously walked further into the snow. She was looking for small flickers, anything to tell her that her surroundings were holographic.

The woman laughed a little and shook her head. “You will tell me where we are.”

She pointed with her branch again and as Seven’s eyes followed it, she noticed a house standing at the end of a long driveway.

A house she recognized.

She stared at it before her eyes flew to the night sky that stretched above them. Quickly her eyes scanned for the visible stars, tracing their constellations. “This… This is Earth.”

“Very good, Seven.” The Spirit smiled at her again. “Do you remember this house?”

“Yes.” Seven had to swallow hard, a strange and unfamiliar feeling came upon her. It made it more difficult to breathe. “This is the house where my aunt Irene lived. But she does not live here anymore.”

“She does not in your present time.” The Spirit nodded. “However, right now she still does.”

She pointed towards the house again and her crown flashed gold, lighting the snow around them. “Do you remember this Christmas, Seven? Do you remember when you were here?”

Seven’s eyes glided over the house, noticing the wreath on the front door, the Christmas tree in the garden, the lights in it…

She remembered. “I was here… Long ago.”

“Long ago and now,” the Spirit said vaguely as she moved closer to the house.

Seven turned around, looking for the doors of the Holodeck or the Cargo Bay. Anything to escape through. But there were no doors. There was no way back. All she could do was follow the Spirit who was now walking up to the front door.

Seven scrambled in the snow, somehow terrified to be left behind. But as she got closer to the house, her sensitive hearing picked up voices. Someone was singing, together with a child…

Seven stopped dead in her tracks and the Spirit turned around to look at her. Her face was solemn but not unkind.

Seven could feel her heart beating fast in her chest. “What is this if not the Holodeck? Is this time travel?”

“This is neither the Holodeck nor time travel as you know it, Seven,” the Spirit said softly. “These are just shadows of the things that have been. We can perceive them, but they will have no consciousness of us.”

The Spirit turned back to look through the window of the house. The light from her golden crown pulsed as the light from the house fell on her face. With a smile, the Spirit reached out to lay a slender hand on the doorknob of the front door.

She looked back at Seven. “Are you not curious? Do you not want to learn?”

Then she turned the knob and walked inside.

Seven hesitated. A voice inside her head was screaming at her to turn around and run. She did not want to go inside this house, she did not want to see the people there. She knew that it would only hurt her.

She looked back behind her, but the dark landscape looked even more ominous and cold now that she was standing close to the house, and she could feel the warmth streaming through the open front door.

Suddenly a voice rang out. A cheerful voice, filled with warmth and laughter. “Annika! Be careful.”

Without thinking, without debating with her more logical side, Seven followed the Spirit and stepped inside the house.

It was a strange experience. She felt like she was intruding on some stranger’s life, but at the same time she knew this house from her childhood. And she knew the people inside.

The open living room was filled with light, warmth, and music. In the center of the room, a little girl was sitting on the floor. She was surrounded by colorful pieces of paper and little jars of paint. Her hands were stained with a multitude of colors and her fingers were working hard on gluing together two pieces of paper that were supposed to form a star. Her efforts seemed imperfect but still the little girl was smiling and holding up her creation proudly.

“Look, Aunt Irene!” She called out happily. “It’s a star!”

“It sure is,” the woman who had called out before, her Aunt Irene, knelt down next to the girl. “And it is beautiful.”

The little girl smiled as she looked down at her creation. “We can’t have Christmas without a star.”

Seven stared at them, trying very hard not to look at the two adults who were watching the scene from the couch.

From the corner of her eye, she saw the Spirit moving closer to her until her golden light fell on Seven’s left arm.

“What a lovely scene,” the Spirit sighed.

Seven cleared her throat before she answered. “My aunt… She cared very deeply about Christmas.”

“Like someone else you know,” the Spirit said softly.

With a flash, Seven saw the Captain in her red sweater again. She would have fitted right in in this scene.

“Yes,” Seven said hoarsely.

“If your aunt cared so deeply about Christmas, it is wonderful that you got to spend it together.”

“Yes…” Seven whispered as her eyes focused on her aunt again.

Irene was watching little Annika play with her self-made decorations. She smiled whenever her niece looked up at her. But when Annika looked away, a shadow fell on Irene’s face and a sadness filled her eyes.

“Why is she sad?” The Spirit asked.

“Because…” This time Seven could no longer resist and her eyes moved to her parents on the couch. “Because we are leaving.”

Magnus and Erin Hansen were holding hands as they watched their daughter play. They were smiling too but there was no sadness in their eyes. They were eager to leave, even then…

“I remember…” Seven whispered, feeling suddenly quite small. “They had told me that we were leaving only a few weeks before this night.”

“How did you feel about that?” The Spirit asked.

“I was very upset,” Seven’s voice cracked on the last word. “I did not want to go. I did not understand.”

The Spirit moved the bough of holly to her other hand. “And yet… You look happy here.”

Seven tore her eyes away from her parents and looked at her younger self again. “Yes… Aunt Irene knew how to make Christmas special. For a moment… I remember now… On this night, I forgot that we were leaving and everything seemed… all right. If only for a little while.”

The Spirit was quiet for a long time. Then she said gently, “How nice.”

“Yes…” Seven said in a quiet but steady voice. “Irene had a talent for making Christmas seem magical.”

The golden light from the Spirit’s crown pulsed again as she spoke. “I wonder… Can you tell me how she did that?”

Seven didn’t reply. She didn’t know the answer.

They stood like that for a little while longer, watching the Hansens celebrate Christmas together.

Then the Spirit put her hand on Seven’s shoulder and gently but firmly pulled her back towards the door. “Come, we should move on.”

Feeling strangely drained, Seven didn’t resist the strong hand and allowed herself to be pulled away from her family.

But as they stepped outside, the snow was no longer covering the ground.

Instead, they were surrounded by metal; metal floors, metal walls and metal ceilings.

Seven frowned. The environment sharply pulled her out of her memories of her Aunt Irene. Then a new sinking feeling entered her chest.

“Why are we here?” She asked the Spirit and her voice already betrayed the emotion that she felt.

“You will see.” The Spirit kept her hand on Seven’s shoulder and pushed her towards a door that opened as they approached.

The little girl was there again. She was sitting at the table in the middle of the room, but she didn’t look up as they walked in. Annika had grown a little bit; her face had changed the most. It was less round and more serious than before. However, the same look of concentration was on it as she cut out another piece of colorful paper.

The scene was so much the same, and yet so very different. There was no warm light surrounding Annika, only the coldness of a spaceship and artificial light. There was no music filling the air, only the humming of the engine far away. There was no singing or even anyone else in the room with her. She was alone, preparing for Christmas by herself.

Seven flinched a little as she watched her younger self. Her skin crawled as she remembered the ship that now surrounded her again. The Raven. More than ever, she wanted to go away. To flee back into the darkness and return to Voyager somehow. But the Spirit’s firm hand on her shoulder prevented her from moving.

Suddenly, Annika jumped up from her stool. She grabbed the finished decorations in front of her, gathering them hastily in her arms, and then walked towards the door.

Out of instinct, Seven stepped aside to let her pass, removing herself from the Spirit’s grasp. But a small part of her mind wondered what would have happened if she had stayed in her previous position. Would Annika just have walked through her? Like a ghost?

There was no time to think about it though, as the Spirit followed Annika through the short corridor and Seven had no choice but to follow as well. Whatever happened, the Spirit was her only way out of here.

Annika walked into a room that Seven remembered all too well. It was the study room of her parents, and they were hard at work.

A captured Borg Drone stood in the middle of the room.

The sight was enough to make Seven’s stomach turn, and she took a deep breath to steady herself.

“Remember, Seven,” the Spirit whispered in her ear. “These shadows can’t see you.”

Seven nodded as she watched Annika approach her parents.

“Mommy? Daddy?” The girl said in an almost shy voice. “Look! I made Christmas decorations.”

The Hansens both looked up from their work in surprise.

Magnus turned to look at Erin. “Christmas? What day is it?”

Erin put down her instrument and laughed a little. “I have no idea!”

“It is the 23rd of December already!” Annika chimed in. She took care to walk around the Borg Drone with a wide arch and then pushed one of her decorations in her mother’s hand. “It will be Christmas Eve tomorrow. Can we get a tree, Mommy?”

“Oh, Annika,” Erin sighed as she looked at the decoration in her hand. “I’m sorry honey but we are very busy. We have finally managed to get this Drone and…”

“Besides, we can’t afford to replicate a full Christmas tree,” Magnus continued as he walked over to his daughter and ruffled her hair. “You understand that don’t you Annika?”

The little girl quickly looked down at the floor. “Yes, daddy.”

“Don’t worry,” Magnus said as he walked over to the Borg Drone and carefully adjusted an implant on its arm. “We will do Christmas some other time.”

Erin handed the ornament back to Annika with a smile and then joined Magnus and the Borg Drone, leaving Annika to stand alone in the middle of the room with her decorations hanging limply in her hands.

Seven wrenched her eyes away from the scene.

This memory was not one that she wanted to remember. She didn’t want to feel the emotions that she was feeling now. A deep hurt and a gaping hole of grief and longing, not only for her parents but for little Annika as well.

She tried to push her emotions away, to hide them in anger as she had so often done. She turned to the Spirit who was watching her closely.

“Why are you showing me this?” Seven asked her angrily. “Why are you making me remember this?”

“Do you?” The Spirit asked quietly. “Do you really remember this little girl?”

Seven didn’t look back at Annika. She didn’t look back at her parents or the Borg Drone. Instead, she kept her eyes locked on the Spirit’s crown which was now shining more brightly than ever.

Still, the Spirit was waiting for an answer so Seven had to speak. “You have made your point. I remember this again and now I will remember it for the rest of my life! Please, show me no more. You have done your job.”

“Almost,” the Spirit said softly as a strong hand closed around Seven’s forearm with a grip of iron. “One more shadow.”

Everything grew dark around them as only the light from the crown of the Spirit remained visible. For a moment, when things came back into perspective, Seven thought that she was back on Voyager.

The corridors looked familiar and there were Christmas decorations hanging there too. She breathed a sigh of relief but then it got stuck in her throat.

Things were not quite the same. This ship was clearly a Federation ship, but it was not Voyager.

A sense of immense dread washed over Seven like a dark wave and her body broke out in a cold sweat. She tried to pull herself away from the Spirit, to flee or to hide. But there was no escaping her grip.

In the distance, cries echoed through the ship. Desperate cries, chilling cries.

“Please,” Seven whimpered. “Please, no.”

The Spirit said nothing as a young woman ran towards them through the corridor. She was wearing a Federation uniform. A red command uniform. Not quite like the ones the crew of Voyager wore today, but similar enough to be easily recognizable as Starfleet.

Seven took a step towards the running woman, wanting to help her.

But then suddenly a Borg Drone appeared from a side corridor. It reached out its arm and grabbed the woman without mercy.

“No!” The woman cried as she struggled. “Please, no!”

The Borg Drone held her fast as it said in a cold robotic voice, “Resistance is futile.”

Assimilation tubules shot out from its arm and sunk deep into the woman’s neck. She struggled for a few more moments and then went limp.

Seven’s heart was racing so fast that it felt like it wanted to break free from her chest. Her breathing was coming out in short gasps and her head started to spin. If not for the strong grip of the Spirit’s hand, she might have fallen to her knees.

Still, she could not look away.

She watched as Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero One, dragged away her victim through the festive decorated halls of the Federation ship that the Borg had just won in battle.

The woman would now become a Borg Drone as well. She was no longer pleading or making any sounds. The soft and mechanical footsteps of Seven of Nine was the only sound to be heard, but it still beat harshly against Seven’s ears.

The moment they were out of sight, Seven felt warm tears slide down her cheeks and she turned to the Spirit beside her.

“Please,” she begged, her words eerily echoing the words of the Starfleet woman that still rung in her ears. “Please, no more.”

The Spirit looked at her with a stern expression on its face. “I told you these were shadows of the things that have been. That they are what they are, do not blame me. I cannot change the past, and neither can you. All you can change is your future.”

Seven shook her head, trying somehow to banish the words of the Spirit. “I cannot bear it anymore! I cannot watch this any further! Bring me back to Voyager!”

The Spirit seemed unmoved by her pleas and a sudden anger took over as Seven watched the golden light fill the hallway where a horror had just taken place.

Without thinking things through, Seven reached out and grabbed at the crown, trying to wrench it from the woman’s head.

But the crown didn’t move. It seemed to be one with the rest of the Spirit who was still not fighting back, even though Seven’s strength was now fueled by anger, despair and grief.

She wrenched at the crown again, wanting to put out its light. Then, with a shock, she felt a prickle in her arm. Right where her assimilation tubules had once been. Almost as if they wanted to come out…

With a shock of horror, she let go.

As she stumbled backward, the Cargo Bay of Voyager suddenly appeared around her.

The back of her legs hit the edge of her regeneration platform. But somehow she managed to keep her footing. She half fell and half stumbled up the steps.

In a frantic panic, she looked around. But the Spirit was gone. The memories were gone, except in her own head. Everything was back to the way it was before.

Except that Seven was crying.

She angrily wiped the tears from her cheeks, trying to calm her breathing meanwhile. She was shaking all over and her mind was in disarray, trying to figure out what had just happened. All of it could not be real. All of it had to be a figment of her imagination or some strange regeneration dream.

She could not make sense of it; she was too tired and felt too drained.

For a moment she thought about leaving the Cargo Bay, to flee to the bright corridors of Voyager, to follow them to the quarters of a certain someone who had always provided her with comfort in times like these…

But then she remembered the other Starfleet woman in red and a sob tore through her throat. She could not face Kathryn now, not before she had made sense of it by herself.

She stumbled back towards her alcove and did not even check whether the regeneration program was still running. She simply fell back into it, allowing her body to rest again and her mind to go blank.

Chapter Text

Seven disconnected from her alcove in a calmer way than the last time. But again the Computer didn’t tell her about the status of her regeneration cycle.

A quick internal check told Seven that she had not regenerated for long and yet she felt rested. The emptiness that she had felt before was still there but only as a shadow. She felt strangely calm, almost numb but nonetheless she was alert.

Her internal clock must be wrong though because it told her that it was almost 0100 hours. An hour before she had gone to regenerate. Or had she perhaps regenerated for a full day? That did not feel right either.

“Computer,” she called out. “What is the date and time?”

“It is two minutes to 0100 hours on the morning of the 24th of December according to the Federation calendar,” the Computer answered in its usual dry voice.

The factual way with which it told her the time, did not ease Seven’s nerves. The Computer must be wrong as well, or she had somehow travelled back in time, or something was seriously wrong with her…

Her eyes peered into the darkness of the Cargo Bay, looking for the Spirit of Christmas Past. But the strange woman and her light were no longer there.

Then Seven remembered that One had said that three Spirits would come to teach her. What if the next one was already on the way? What if they came every hour and that was why the Computer said it was almost 0100 hours?

Feeling a strange urge to fight and stand her ground, Seven quickly stepped off the platform and moved towards the Cargo Bay doors. The last time she had not seen where the Spirit had come from, but they seemed to have material form so they must come through the doors.

She realized that this was a weak hypothesis, considering that Spirits were not real and that they already had a strange ability to either travel through time or create powerful hallucinations. What would prevent them from just appearing in the Cargo Bay at will?

Nonetheless, Seven positioned herself next to the doors, keeping her eyes trained on them.

Only a few moments later, a bright light suddenly flared up.

From behind her.

She whirled around and gasped as she took in the impossible sight before her.

A great forest of Christmas trees had suddenly appeared in the middle of the Cargo Bay. The platform with her regeneration alcoves was still there, but the stacked crates that dominated the middle of the vast room had disappeared. In their stead, the trees now stood. They were richly decorated and blazing with lights. They were surrounded by colorful things that Seven at first assumed were presents, but then on closer inspection she realized were food. Big platters of all kinds of dishes. There were big turkeys, pans full of potatoes, bright puddings, plates of cookies, anything you could imagine. The smell made her mouth water even though she knew that the food wasn’t real.

A gap through the trees showed a sparkling something made out of gold. The lights from the trees made it glow in the dark and despite her misgivings and fear, Seven took a few steps to the left so that she would be able to see it.

It was a throne and on it sat a huge woman, dressed in a deep green velvet mantle trimmed with a white fluffy fabric. The mantle hung loose around her figure, revealing enough skin to immediately make Seven even more uncomfortable than she already was.

She quickly moved her eyes to the Giantess’ face. It was round and her cheeks were flushed red. Her eyes were bright and sparkled with light. Her hair was a deep red color, and her head was crowned with a holly wreath that was hung with icicles. Seven briefly wondered how the icicles weren’t melting from the warmth that the Giantess clearly exhumed.

“Seven!” The Giantess called out in a deep and booming voice. “Come over here and get to know me better!”

Feeling strangely timid, which was something that she was not very familiar with, Seven took a few steps forward. Her eyes glided over the trees and the food again, and with a sigh she stopped trying to make sense of it. Clearly something was very wrong with her or… something was happening beyond her control.

She looked at the Giantess again. “I… I do not yet know who you are, but… I’m willing to learn. If I have to.”

The Giantess gave a loud booming laugh. “If you have to! Well, I suppose that is something.”

Seven gave a curt nod and shifted uncomfortably on her feet.

The Giantess leaned forward in her throne, her mantle shifting as she did. “As to who I am… I am the Spirit of Christmas Present!”

She opened her arms wide, and all the Christmas trees blazed up even brighter. A tingling sound filled the air as if a million little bells were being shaken or a great number of icicles clashed together.

Seven looked around in wonder, feeling so dazed that she did not know what to say.

The Spirit laughed again, a short chuckle this time. “Now, if you really are ready to learn, touch my mantle and we’ll get started.”

Seven looked at the green mantle again but then she remembered her last journey with a Spirit. Her outstretched hand, which she did not remember reaching out, quickly withdrew.

“What will you show me?” She asked in a small voice.

“Why… The present of course! Or nearly so.” The Spirit winked at her and then jumped off the throne and bounded over to her. “Do not worry, Seven. You will be quite safe.”

Seven wanted to retort that she was not worried about her physical well-being so much as the emotional damage these Spirits could clearly do. But she chose not to say a word.

“Still thinking this is all a Holodeck simulation?” The Spirit asked her with crinkled eyes. “Or a joke set up by one of your crewmates?”

This made Seven think, which was a welcome change. She tilted her head briefly to the side. “No… None of them would be creative enough to conjure this up.”

The Spirit laughed again and clapped her hands with the sound of thunder. “Very well then! Come now.”

Feeling like she didn’t really have a choice, Seven reached out and touched the sleeve of the green mantle.

Immediately, the dark Cargo Bay and the bright forest of Christmas trees disappeared. Seven held her breath, waiting to see where she would end up.

But then the corridors of Voyager materialized out of the darkness.

Seven looked around in surprise and checked every little detail that she could find; the color of the paneling, the configuration of the screens, even the Christmas decorations that she had only passed the night before.

It was all there. It was all familiar. This was Voyager. Her Voyager.

It was no longer night though as there were many people walking through the corridor. The day shift was clearly on the way. Somehow the people all managed to walk past the Spirit and Seven and yet no one acknowledged their existence in any other way.

The people of Voyager were dressed up for the Christmas party. Most were wearing their finest clothes, but some were wearing funny Christmas sweaters in bright colors. It made for a very cheerful scene compared to the usual sight of seeing them in their tricolored uniforms.

The Spirit laughed and pointed at some of them. She suddenly had a torch in her hand. The fiery light was a stark contrast with the cold light of the corridor. For a brief moment, Seven wondered about safety regulations but then she remembered that the torch was not real and that the sparks that were coming off it could not cause a fire.

And yet there was something special about the torch. Whenever a crewmember walked close enough to the Spirit, she waved her torch at them and sparks flew towards them. As the light touched them, a smile appeared on their faces, and they continued on their way with an extra spring in their step.

Most people were moving in groups towards the Mess Hall, but others walked alone.

“Some of them are sad,” the Spirit observed in a quiet voice that Seven felt was rather out of character. “Can you see it, Seven?”

Seven looked at her fellow crewmembers again and tried to see what the Spirit was talking about. Noticing emotional cues had never been her strong suit but with some people it was obvious that they were feeling a bit downcast. Some eyes were even red and blotchy from crying.

And yet they were all walking towards the Mess Hall. They had all dressed up and were going to the party.

The Spirit seemed to know who felt sad before they even came into view around the bend of the corridor. She moved towards them in a straight line and waved her torch at them. The sadder the crewmember, the more sparks flew from the torch and as they touched them, their faces changed. Small smiles appeared and a peace replaced the tears in their eyes.

Seven wanted to ask what this all meant but then a couple walked around the bend of the corridor that could not be ignored.

“I told you a million times, Tom! Don’t pretend that I didn’t,” B’Elanna Torres told her husband as she marched towards the Mess Hall as if she was going to a battle.

“And I’m telling you that I really didn’t hear you!” Tom Paris retorted as he jogged to keep up with his wife. “Honestly! How was I supposed to know that you wanted to coordinate our outfits? We’ve never done that before.”

“Well, I thought it would be a nice change!” B’Elanna threw her hands in the air. “Forgive me for not realizing that you still want to dress like a child!”

Seven frowned as she studied their outfits. Tom was wearing a Christmas sweater that had a silly picture of a drunk Santa Claus on it. Where B’Elanna looked rather beautiful in a long black dress that sparkled with little gemstones. Even Seven, who did not care about fashion much, could see that they were not matching well.

The Spirit laughed as she too looked at Tom’s sweater and then sighed as she shook her head. She waved her torch at the couple and a rain of sparks flew towards them.

As they landed, they both stopped in the middle of the corridor.

Tom reached out and gingerly took B’Elanna’s hand in his. “I’m sorry. Really. I should have asked you what you wanted to wear.”

B’Elanna softly slapped his arm and smiled up at him. “Never mind. It is silly.”

“No, it is not.” Tom leaned in closer. “It would have been nice to match. We could have made everybody jealous. We are quite a handsome couple, you know?”

B’Elanna laughed at that and shook her head before tracing her finger over the Santa Claus figure on her husband’s chest. “So… What should we do?”

Tom shrugged playfully with a grin. “It is still early. We could go back to our quarters and… change.”

He was not trying to be subtle and even Seven didn’t miss the double meaning in his words.

B’Elanna only smiled as she quickly pulled her husband away by his hand and they ran off in the other direction, laughing as they moved against the current of crewmembers still making their way to the Mess Hall.

“Perhaps we could borrow your torch sometime,” Seven told the Spirit. “If it can solve their fights, it must be powerful indeed.”

The Spirit laughed again. “That it is. That it is.” She sighed, pulling her robe more firmly around her body. “Come, we should move on.”

They walked through the corridors together and Seven kept waiting for someone to point at the strangely looking Spirit and ask her who she was. But even though the Spirit was called the Spirit of Christmas Present, they were still not in the same time as the people around them and they could not see them.

It made Seven feel strangely alone somehow, a feeling she did not enjoy.

Before she could lose herself in this thought, the Spirit suddenly stopped in front of one of the many doors that lined the wall. She looked at it intently and she somehow looked a little sad.

“What is it?” Seven asked her. “What is wrong?”

The Spirit shook her head, and a smile returned to her lips. “I have to go in here. And so should you.”

Before Seven could study the door any further to see what it would lead to, the Spirit had already opened it with the press of a button and some sparks from her torch and walked right in.

Seven hastily followed her.

They were in Harry Kim’s quarters. One of the last places that Seven had expected the Spirit to lead her to.

She wanted to ask her why they were there, but the Spirit was looking very intently at the two people standing in the corner of the room.

Then Seven’s attention was completely grabbed as well because one of the people was Icheb.

She watched Harry help Icheb straighten his bowtie.

“You know, Icheb,” Harry told him softly. “A bowtie can almost never be completely symmetrical.”

“Evidently,” Icheb said, and it was clear from his tone of voice that he was annoyed. “Why is that though? Could we not design it better somehow?”

Harry smiled. “Perhaps we could but I think they are not supposed to be perfect.”

Icheb frowned. “That seems illogical to me.”

“I know,” Harry said, and he was no longer smiling. “It is just something my grandfather taught me.”

He took a step back as if to check the rest of Icheb’s smart outfit, he was wearing a rather nice-looking suit that Seven had never seen before, and then he turned away.

Icheb shifted a little on his feet and his eyes moved around the room before landing on a little side table that held picture frames with photographs of Harry’s family.

“Is your grandfather in one of these pictures?” He asked Harry.

Harry did not turn around; he was hiding his face and Seven wondered if he was crying. He answered in a hoarse voice. “The one in the back.”

Icheb walked over to the table and picked up the picture that had an older looking man in it. He was standing next to Harry who was beaming at the camera in a brand-new Cadet uniform.

“You look like your grandfather,” Icheb observed.

“I know.” Harry’s voice now audibly broke.

A silence followed and Seven looked at the Spirit for a moment. She expected her to flash her torch and give Harry some of its sparks to make him feel better.

But the Spirit was not moving. She only looked at Harry with a sad expression on her face.

In the end, Icheb walked over to Harry and laid a hand gingerly on his shoulder. “Harry? Are you all right?”

“Yes… I will be… Sorry,” Harry mumbled as he wiped his face furiously. “It is just… Christmas makes me miss my family.”

Icheb nodded but then a flash of pain moved over his face.

Seven wanted to reach out to him but she knew that he would not feel her touch. She wondered if Icheb was thinking about his own parents. Or was it the thought of her and her harsh words that had made him flinch in pain?

Suddenly, Harry gave a short laugh, and he straightened his shoulder. “Enough of that!” He said with a fake cheeriness. “We should go to the Mess Hall. We can’t spend all this time getting ready and dressing up without then showing off our good looks to the others.”

Icheb smiled and then followed him outside.

The Spirit, however, did not walk with them but turned to look at Seven. She was watching her as if she was waiting for her to say something.

But Seven did not know what to ask first.

“Spirit,” she began softly. “Do you know the future?”

“I can see what things will lead to.” The Spirit nodded solemnly. “The Present is a great gift. It is the time where you can make changes in your life, to change your future.”

Seven nodded but she could not face her own emotions just yet. She did not want to think about Icheb’s sad face. So instead, she asked something else. “Will Harry ever spend a Christmas with his family again?”

“What does it matter?” The Spirit asked in return and her voice was quite sharp. The jolly giantess suddenly looked angry. “Christmas is irrelevant, is it not?”

Seven felt a heat creep up in her cheeks as she remembered her words to Kathryn in the Astrometrics Lab. It seemed so very long ago.

The Spirit shook her big head, and her torch flared up again. It had started to burn down a bit but now it glowed with new vigor. “Come,” the Spirit said in a kind voice now. “We should follow them to the party.”

As they stepped out of Harry’s quarters, Seven was fully expecting to find themselves back in Voyager’s corridors. But instead, they stepped straight into the Mess Hall. The sudden change and the loud chatter of all the people gathered there almost made Seven back up a few steps. But the Spirit was standing right behind her and pushed her further into the room.

It was lavishly decorated. There were small Christmas trees standing everywhere. All of them looked different as all of them were decorated by someone else. Suddenly, Seven understood better what Neelix had tried to explain to her. She could clearly pick out a few trees that were decorated by people she knew.

One was so hung with decorations and glittering snow that none of its branches were visible anymore, the amount of pink was the final hint that this tree must belong to Naomi Wildman. Another tree was almost its complete opposite. It was sparsely decorated but the few decorations that were there were perfectly symmetrical and in perfect balance with each other. That one was clearly Tuvok’s. A third tree had small ornaments shaped like cars and planes hanging from its branches, Tom Paris’ love for old Earth vehicles shone through them.

Seven couldn’t take her eyes off the trees, trying to see them all. Other people were also clearly enjoying them as they asked who decorated which ones and what the meaning of the decorations was. It was a very clever way to start a conversation.

“How beautiful it all looks,” the Spirit sighed.

Seven jumped a little, for a moment she had forgotten that she was there with the Spirit of Christmas Present and that they were not really there at all.

The Spirit stood out among the people of Voyager. Not because of her size or mantle, most of the crew were dressed up in bright colors and some were almost of the same size of the Spirit.

But she glowed with a strange light that matched the many lights that hung in the little trees and her face was flushed with excitement. Her smile was almost as bright as the fire from her torch.

She suddenly grabbed Seven’s arm and steered her towards a table filled with glasses of brightly colored liquids. The Spirit was laughing as she watched the senior staff of Voyager gather around, sipping the strange drinks with some apprehension but also excitement.

Seven suddenly felt shy. She could not quite explain why. The people around her could not see her or the Spirit that she had brought with her. They needed no explanation. But still, Seven felt like she was intruding.

Perhaps it was because Commander Chakotay had apparently just finished giving a toast, people were applauding him, and the Captain laid her hand on his shoulder.

Kathryn looked wonderful. Unlike some others, she was not wearing a Christmas sweater like she had done the day before in the Astrometrics Lab. But she was still wearing red; a beautiful dark red satin blouse shimmered as she moved, and it highlighted the auburn tones in her hair. She was wearing stylish black pants and shoes that looked comfortable and yet very different from her usual uniform boots.

Seven’s mouth ran dry as she watched her and for a moment she forgot everything else.

Only when the Spirit laughed loudly beside her was she shaken from her thoughts. Apparently B’Elanna had taken the occasion to give a toast as well and judging by the laughing faces of Tom and Harry, and the disapproving faces of the Doctor and Tuvok, hers had been a little bit less appropriate than Chakotay’s.

Then Icheb suddenly took center stage as he lifted his glass gingerly in the air. “I want to thank Neelix and the Captain for organizing this amazing Christmas party.” The others applauded as Neelix took a little bow and Kathryn just smiled at Icheb. He continued, “I know it must have been a lot of work to put all of this together, but I think I can speak for everyone here that we really appreciate it.”

More applause interrupted him and Seven looked around the room, noticing how more people were now listening in on their conversation.

“Christmas is something that I was not familiar with until I came to Voyager,” Icheb continued in a softer voice. “But I have come to appreciate it immensely since. On no other day do I feel more like I am part of the Voyager family… On no other day do I feel more happy to be part of your crew.”

“Oh, Icheb,” Kathryn sighed as tears sprung in her eyes.

He smiled sheepishly at her, but he was clearly emotional as well. He hesitated for a moment, lowering his arm a little but then raised his glass high again. “I would also like to drink to Seven as she is part of this family too.”

Seven felt a jolt of surprise move through her chest as she stared at Icheb.

But before she could respond in any way, B’Elanna snorted, “Clearly she doesn’t want to be a part of it.”

“She does,” Icheb insisted. “She just…”

He struggled for a moment to find the words, but none came to him.

The others were no longer smiling and it almost felt like the temperature in the room had dropped a little.

Chakotay quickly clapped Icheb on the shoulder and put on a brave smile. “You’re right, Icheb. It is Christmas Eve after all. Let’s drink to family and to many more Christmases together!”

Everyone cheered and clinked their glasses together, but Seven still noticed that both Icheb and Kathryn looked a little sad.

Kathryn actually turned away from the others and busied herself for a moment by putting the glasses on the table in neat rows.

Seven followed her, completely forgetting about the Spirit beside her. She took a deep breath and then spoke, “Captain?”

Kathryn didn’t turn around and suddenly Chakotay walked up towards her. “Kathryn?” He asked. “Are you okay?”

Seven looked at him with a little annoyance but then she realized that he could not see or hear her. He didn’t know that she had been about to ask the Captain the very same question. She was not really there. She could not comfort Kathryn.

“I’m fine,” Kathryn answered with a weak smile. “It’s a great party.”

“It is,” Chakotay agreed softly, not taking his eyes away from Kathryn’s face. “I’m sorry Seven didn’t come.”

Kathryn quickly looked down at the table again. “Me too.”

They stood in silence for a moment and Seven shifted uncomfortably on her feet. From the corner of her eye, she noticed the Spirit walking up toward them but she ignored her as she didn’t want to miss the conversation between Kathryn and Chakotay.

“Oh, Chakotay,” Kathryn sighed. “I know it is stupid, but I just thought… I really thought that she would come tonight.”

“Don’t take it personally,” Chakotay said softly. “You did all you could.”

“But not enough,” Kathryn gave another weak smile. “I just thought that… after the year we’ve had, that things had changed. I thought she and I were…” She shook her head with a sigh. “I guess I was mistaken.”

Seven suddenly felt dizzy. The room seemed to spin around her and she could hear a slight buzzing in her ears. A wave of guilt washed over her as she watched Kathryn suffer from her absence.

“I don’t think you’re wrong on that account,” Chakotay said softly. “I just think that… Seven might not be capable of… Maybe she is not ready for…”

Kathryn shook her head and placed a hand on his arm to stop him. “It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything. I just thought that this night could be… special for Seven and me.”

He looked at her with pity in his eyes.

But Kathryn smiled at him and squeezed his arm. “I’m not ready either. To give up, I mean. I will try again next year to get Seven to join us for Christmas.”

“Good.” Chakotay smiled back at her. “In the meantime, you should still enjoy this party that you yourself put together, with the people that did come.” He offered her his arm. “Come. I think the pink drinks are the strongest punch Neelix put out.”

Kathryn laughed and they walked off, arm in arm.

Seven remained standing at the table with only the Spirit for company. She did not look at her though as she stared at the table full of colorful drinks and let everything that Kathryn had said sink in.

“You’ve been given a lot to think about,” the Spirit said after a while. “But I did not bring you here for that.”

“Then why did you bring me here?” Seven asked and somehow it felt difficult to speak.

The Spirit looked at her for a long moment and then sighed again. “You will know, I hope.”

Seven frowned, annoyed with the vague answer. But before she could say so, the Spirit had grabbed her arm again and steered her back to the others who were now enjoying the party.

She watched as Harry explained Christmas crackers to Icheb. He jumped as the first one was pulled apart, revealing a beautiful crown that he then put on Naomi’s head.

The Doctor was singing in a corner, caroling the classics while also entertaining the others with his own compositions that were about holograms celebrating Christmas in their own way.

Despite still feeling a little sad, Seven felt a smile return to her lips as she watched them all. Eventually, she forgot Kathryn’s words and just watched as everyone enjoyed the party.

Neelix brought out a huge fruit cake that was apparently lathered in synthehol as it was set ablaze under loud applause. The first piece was given to the Captain who accepted it with a bright smile.

Seeing Kathryn enjoy herself again eased Seven’s consciousness and she walked around with the Spirit, watching everyone enjoy the party without them realizing that she was watching them.

Harry was talking with Jenny Delaney in a quiet corner now. Somehow the Spirit moved towards him and Seven followed, feeling a little curious but also unwilling to intrude.

“It is a great party,” Harry said quietly as he looked around the room. “It makes me feel better somehow.”

“Were you feeling sad, Harry?” Jenny asked him as she put a hand on his arm.

Harry looked down at her hand for a moment and he smiled. “I was. It is strange isn’t it? Christmas is the time of year that I miss my family the most. It is painful to be so far away from them, especially during this season.”

Jenny squeezed his arm as Seven looked at the Spirit beside her. She was watching Harry closely, but she had kept her torch to herself during the party, there were no more sparks flying off it to bless people.

Harry continued, “But it is also the season that somehow gives me hope that one day I will see them again. This party… Being together like this, it lifts my spirits. If that doesn’t sound too cheesy?” He finished with a laugh.

Jenny laughed as well. “It doesn’t sound cheesy. Not at all. I think we can all understand that very well.”

They leaned closer together and Seven had to avert her eyes at the intimacy of the moment. Thankfully the Spirit also moved away with a small content smile on her lips.

Suddenly, Seven realized that the Spirit had changed. There were small lines around her eyes now and a few hairs on her head had turned gray. The Spirit was growing older.

“Spirit…” Seven began hesitantly. “Are you all right?”

“Very much so,” the Spirit replied. “But it is getting late. We should go.”

Seven looked around the room, realizing that she did not want to leave. She could see that Tom and B’Elanna had just started a guessing game at one of the tables and Icheb had just joined them. Kathryn was standing with Tuvok and Chakotay and she was laughing about something.

“Do we have to go?” Seven asked in a soft voice.

“It is time,” the Spirit simply replied and grabbed her arm again.

As they got closer to the exit, Seven suddenly noticed one little tree standing in a corner next to some boxes of unused decoration. The tree was bare, standing out starkly against all the other decorated trees.

It was her tree, the one she had refused.

Somehow the sight of it distressed Seven a lot and she struggled against the Spirit’s grip for a moment, wanting to remain at the party and decorate it now. More than anything she wanted to go talk to Kathryn.

But the Spirit was not to be disobeyed, and she pulled Seven out into the corridors.

There were people there too as they had spilled out of the overcrowded Mess Hall. They were having a great time; some of them were singing, others were laughing. There was not one serious or sad face to be seen.

Seven looked at them as she passed them, but after a while her attention was solely focused on the Spirit who was guiding her.

The Spirit’s hair had now grown completely white, and her face was wrinkled even though her eyes were still shining brightly.

“Spirit, what is happening to you?” Seven asked in alarm.

“I’m growing older.” The Spirit shrugged. “This Christmas is almost over.”

Seven frowned but then she understood, even though this Christmas Eve still lay in her future, it was the Christmas of the present and it would soon be over.

Still, she didn’t understand why they had to leave the party then and where the Spirit was going now.

They had left all the partygoers behind them and were now walking through empty corridors. The Spirit seemed to be making towards one of the turbolifts.

“Spirit, where are we going?” Seven asked.

“You’ll see.” The Spirit pushed the button to call the lift.

When the doors opened, she suddenly swung Seven forward and pushed her through first.

Seven stumbled a little as her feet made contact with an uneven floor. She looked around, unable to see anything in the darkness that suddenly surrounded her. Her eyes could only make out dark shapes standing close to her.

“Where are we?” Seven called out feeling a sudden fear grip her heart. But she could not even see the Spirit or her torch anymore.

She was still there though, and she replied. “We are not on Voyager anymore.”

Seven’s eyes had now adjusted enough to see that that was true. They were standing in a dark forest. Big trees surrounded them, trees of the conifer family like Christmas trees. But all of these trees were dark and undecorated. Much like her little tree in the Mess Hall.

It made for an ominous sight and very unlike the trees that had surrounded the Spirit when she had first appeared in the Cargo Bay.

“What is wrong with these trees?” Seven asked, whirling around, trying to find some light. “Why aren’t they lit?”

“Why should they be lit?” The Spirit retorted, her voice echoing through the air. “Are the normal lights of the Mess Hall and the rest of the ship not enough?”

Seven recognized her own words to Neelix the other day, but this did not make any sense. They were no longer on Voyager; they were standing in a big dark forest and some lights would actually have been very helpful here.

“Spirit?” Seven asked again, her breath came out in a cloud of mist because of the cold air around her. “Spirit, are you still there?”

There was no answer.

Panick started to spread through Seven’s body. She was not yet back in the Cargo Bay. Without the Spirit, how would she ever return?

Seven took a few steps and peeked around some of the dark trees but everywhere she looked, it all looked the same. She was alone, surrounded by darkness.

She ached to be back at the Christmas party in the Mess Hall. With a pang she realized that she was not only longing for the brightly colored lights, the warmth, the food and the drinks. But most of all for the people…

She stopped walking around and stared up at the sky, but it was also dark. There were no stars there to guide her.

Suddenly her internal clock told her that it was 0200 hours.

When she looked back in front of her, she noticed movement in the trees.

Her heart gave a small jump, thinking that the Spirit had come back to bring her home.

But then she noticed that this figure moved in a very different way. It glided towards her. As it got closer, Seven noticed how its face was not visible, it was hidden by a hood that was pulled very low. The hood was part of a long cloak, not green but a deep black of the same color as the darkness around it. The only part of the person beneath the cloak that was visible were two long pale hands.

Seven wondered for a moment if she could still hide, because somehow she didn’t want this person to see her.

But the figure was gliding directly towards her, a mist billowing around them as it moved.

The Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come had found her.

Chapter Text

The Spirit stopped right in front of Seven but did not speak.

She waited for a moment, hoping that it would talk to her in the same manner as the other Spirits had done, firm but gentle.

But this Spirit did not say a word as it just stood in front of her, its cloak fluttering in the cold wind and its color melting in with the darkness of the night.

“Are you…” Seven began haltingly. “Are you the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come?”

There was no answer.

Seven trembled a little. “Will you… Will you show me the future?”

Then the head beneath the cloak, while remaining invisible, nodded.

Seven wished with all her heart that the Spirit would speak. She did not even care if the words would be harsh or angry. The silence scared her, it made her feel very alone.

“Will you not speak to me?” Seven asked pleadingly. “Will you not teach me as the other two Spirits have done?”

The Spirit suddenly lifted one arm and pointed with a long finger to the right.

Seven glanced in that direction but could not see anything in the darkness.

She sighed as she looked back at the Spirit. She knew there was only one thing to do. “I will follow you. I know you were sent here to teach me and… I know I can trust you.”

As if her words had opened some sort of lock, the arm of the Spirit dropped to its side and the dark forest disappeared.

Around them bright lights bloomed as they suddenly stood in the middle of a busy city street.

The bright sunlight hurt Seven’s eyes for a moment, and she blinked furiously to make sense of her surroundings. She looked around and then recognized the street pattern and some landmarks in the distance. This was San Fransisco, the homebase of Starfleet.

She turned back to ask the Spirit why they were there but with a start she realized that it was no longer standing beside her.

It had moved on already and was gliding up the flight of stairs leading up to a large house. It opened the front door and moved inside without waiting to see if she would follow.

Seven quickly scrambled up the steps and walked through the door as well.

Inside, she found a scene that looked very much like the one she had just witnessed in the Mess Hall.

There were fewer people there, but it was still clearly another Christmas party.

The hosts were standing close to the door, greeting the guests that had come in just before the Spirit and Seven had done. Tom and B’Elanna were older, Seven could not rightly guess how many years had passed for them, but she could clearly see that some time had passed.

With another jolt of surprise, she fully realized that they were on Earth. Somehow Voyager must have made it home somehow…

Seven eagerly looked around the room. She froze as her eyes landed on Icheb. He was all grownup now, looking handsome in a neat suit that fitted him perfectly. Her heart stuttered with a warm feeling of joy and pride as she watched him talk to Tuvok who had changed the least of all the people there.

She quickly scanned the rest of the room. Chakotay, Neelix, Harry, the Doctor, they were all there. But where was Kathryn?

Apparently she was not the only one who was wondering that as Icheb called out to Tom, “Is she coming?”

“Who?” Tom asked as he handed a glass of wine to Chakotay.

“The Captain of course,” Icheb said, and his voice sounded a little sad somehow.

Tom’s face fell. “No… We asked her to come. But she said she wouldn’t.”

Disappointment filled Seven’s chest, and she briefly glanced at the Spirit to see if they had some thoughts to share on the absence of Kathryn. But the Spirit still looked as dark and silent as it had done in the dark forest. It stood still beside her, no help at all.

“Well…” B’Elanna interrupted. “Our family is almost complete then.”

Tom put an arm around her and pulled her in close. “Exactly. Maybe next year she’ll come.”

Seven waited and looked at Icheb, curious if he would ask where she was. She was strangely eager to see her future self, more eager than she had been to see her past self. Seeing what the future held for oneself was a temptation that not many could resist.

But Icheb never asked. He was quiet for a while but then he asked Chakotay about his new curriculum at the university where he was now teaching anthropology.

Seven tried not to be hurt by it and she turned again to the Spirit, but it was still standing still. Unmoving. Apparently they were going to be there for a while.

So, Seven took the initiative to walk around by herself. She listened in on some of the conversations. She heard Harry tell Neelix and Tuvok how his family was doing and listened to B’Elanna as she told everyone how her daughter was doing in school. She even admired the big Christmas tree that was standing in one corner.

The party was a success, but it somehow lacked the warmth and spirit that the one in the Mess Hall had had. Perhaps it was just different because there were less people present.

Still, Seven wondered why the Spirit had brought her there. She did not mind these insights in the future, especially not Icheb’s, but she still did not fully understand what this had to do with her learning anything.

Suddenly, she heard her name being mentioned after all. She turned around to see that it was Tuvok who had spoken it.

“I believe you could apply the same methods to your current study,” he told Icheb.

Even though Seven wasn’t completely sure what the topic of their conversation was, she still eagerly walked closer.

“Thank you,” Icheb said with a small smile. “I had forgotten we used to run those same scans on Voyager. It seems so long ago.”

“Several years have passed,” Tuvok noted matter-of-factly. “It is just a shame that Seven is not here to help you with this new research.”

A silence fell over the room as the other conversations suddenly stopped. Harry sighed and B’Elanna took a long drink from her glass of wine.

“Yes, well…” Icheb finally said. “Maybe it is better this way.”

Tuvok nodded solemnly and the others went back to their talks as if nothing had happened.

Seven stood still, staring at each of them in turn.

She had been happy that her name had finally been mentioned but now she wished it had never happened. The coldness with which Icheb had spoken went straight to her heart.

She looked at him closely, now noticing the tight lines around his mouth and eyes. He looked very serious, even here at a Christmas party.

She waited for a moment to see if the conversation would come back to her absence but when it didn’t she turned to the unmoving Spirit, feeling a little angry but mostly just sad.

“Why are we here, Spirit?” She asked pleadingly. “No one cares that my future self is not here. They even seem to be happy about it. Why should I be here then?”

The Spirit didn’t answer, and its silence only fueled Seven’s frustration.

She got angry. “Is there no one here at all that misses me? Is there no one here who still cares for me?”

Again, as if she had finally asked the question that unlocked the next part of her adventure, her words caused the scenery around them to change.

For a moment, Seven could only see the Spirit standing in front of her and then they were standing in a different room in a different house.

The first thing Seven noticed was that it was cold there, much colder than at the Paris’ party. The second thing was the missing Christmas decorations lining the walls; there was not even a Christmas tree in sight.

But then she noticed the only person in the room.

Kathryn.

Seven didn’t wait for the Spirit to point her in any direction or to annoy her with its silence. She walked over to her Captain immediately and stared at her.

Kathryn had grown older as well; her hair was still a strong auburn color, but her face had changed drastically. There were deep lines there and her skin was very pale. She was frowning at a coffee cup in front of her as if it had just done something offensive.

A sudden beeping from a screen on the wall made Seven jump in surprise.

Kathryn only sighed and then she slowly called out, “Computer, answer the call.”

The screen turned on and Phoebe Janeway appeared on it. Seven immediately recognized Kathryn’s younger sister, even though she also looked older.

“Kathryn?” Phoebe called out as she moved closer to her own screen. “Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here,” Kathryn replied softly, sitting back in her chair as she cradled the coffee cup in her hands now.

Phoebe paused for a moment and her eyes moved around the screen. “Why haven’t you decorated the place for Christmas, Kat?”

Kathryn sighed again. “I wasn’t feeling up to it. Besides… It is only me here this year.”

A flash of pain moved over Phoebe’s face. “Don’t say that. You know we are coming over for New Year’s right?”

Kathryn quickly held up a hand. “I wasn’t trying to guilt trip you, Phoebe. I’m sorry. I know you’re coming and I’m very happy to see you and your girls.”

Phoebe smiled weakly. “But you’re not celebrating Christmas?”

Kathryn shrugged. “Not this year.”

“What about the Voyager Christmas party that you used to throw every year?”

“Tom and B’Elanna took over like last year.”

“And the year before that…”

Kathryn looked down at her coffee cup. “Yes. Ever since… Since Seven left.”

A silence followed her words and Seven looked from one sister to the other, urging one of them to explain what had happened. Her eyes even briefly moved to the dark Spirit beside her but of course they were no help at all.

“Were you at least planning to go to the Paris’ party?” Phoebe asked Kathryn.

“No…” Kathryn said softly and then she raised her head again. “I didn’t want to put a damper on their party.”

Phoebe flinched visibly again. “I’m worried about you, Kat.”

“Don’t be!” Kathryn sat up straighter. “I’m fine.”

“Still…” Phoebe bit her lip a little. “I will call again tomorrow, and I’ll talk to the wife. We’ll come over early this year for our New Year’s Eve party.”

Kathryn smiled and Seven could see that it made her eyes light up for just a moment. “Thank you, Phoebe. Give them all my love.”

“Will do, sis. See you soon.”

The call ended and the following silence pressed in on Seven’s ears.

She moved closer to Kathryn, but she suddenly stood up and walked over to the window.

Her coffee cup was in her hand but she wasn’t drinking from it. Instead, she just stared up at the sky. The sun had set, and the stars were coming out. Her eyes roamed over them, almost as if she were searching for something… or someone.

Seven walked closer, wanting to reach out a hand and touch her but she knew that it would be pointless.

Then suddenly a sob escaped Kathryn’s lips, and she buried her face in her other hand.

A crashing weight of sadness, confusion and something that she could not yet identify moved over Seven.

The distance between her and Kathryn, separated by years Yet to Come, was a gaping chasm that she could not bridge.

And yet she wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch her. To talk to her. To tell her that she was sorry… To do something.

She turned to face the Spirit again. Her voice came out cracking because of the emotions that almost choked her. “Please… Tell me what is wrong with her. She used to love Christmas so much. Why is she not celebrating it now? What happened to cause all this?”

Suddenly, the Spirit, who had barely moved since it had appeared in the dark forest, launched forward and grabbed Seven’s arm. Its fingers were as cold as ice and their grip was as strong as steel. With a jerk, it pulled Seven to the front door and away from Kathryn.

Seven looked over her shoulder, wanting to shout out to Kathryn, to call for help even though she knew Kathryn could not hear her.

Then she noticed the snow outside through the little windows in the front door. She quickly braced herself against the cold that slammed into her face as the Spirit opened the door and threw her out.

She fell and fully expected to feel the cold softness of snow on her hands as she tried to break her fall. But instead, the cold metal surface of a spaceship’s floor jarred her wrists and made her bones tingle with sparks.

She quickly scrambled to her feet, rubbing her hands.

First she hoped that she was back on Voyager somehow. Then she feared that she was back on the Raven again or maybe even a Borg Cube. But as she looked around, she did not recognize the ship or its configurations.

It was quiet, dark and cold. It was also deserted. There were some machines that were blinking and humming softly. But there were no people around. Just the Spirit that was watching her from a dark corner.

She took a breath to ask it why they had come here. But then she heard a door open behind her and she whirled around, wanting to face whatever was coming her way.

With astonishment she watched her future self walk towards her.

It was easy to recognize herself. She was still wearing the same biosuits as she did on Voyager and even her hairstyle was still the same. But the older Seven moved more stiffly and her eyes… Her eyes frightened Seven somehow. They were dark and cold.

Future Seven walked over to a replicator that lined the wall. “Nutritional supplement number one,” she called out in a flat voice.

The drink appeared with a beep and Future Seven took it and drank it in one gulp. She then put the cup back in the replicator, pressed a button and the cup was recycled instantly. The whole exchange couldn’t have lasted more than two minutes.

But instead of moving on or going back to work, Future Seven just stood there, staring at the blinking lights of the machines in front of her.

Seven, feeling the worst of the shock of the sight of her future self subside a bit, took a few steps forward. Her older self both intrigued and scared her. But this stillness was worse than anything.

She looked into her future self’s face but there was no emotion there, only a blankness that frightened Seven. She wanted to shake her, ask her to speak because the silence from the Spirit was making her go crazy.

Then suddenly, without any direct cause, a flash of pain moved over the stony features of her future self. Her mouth tightened in a grimace and her eyes shut tightly.

She then whispered in a cold breaking voice, “Merry Christmas to me.”

The words echoed in the emptiness around her as both Seven and the Spirit of Christmas Yet to Come stared at her without moving.

Then Future Seven turned around, her face back to its unmoving mask and she walked back through the door through which she had come in.

Leaving Seven alone with the Spirit once again.

Seven didn’t waste any time but walked up to the Spirit and asked it the question that was now burning in her mind, “Are these things that will be or that may be?”

The Spirit once again said nothing, but one of its arms lifted up and a pale hand pointed to the door through which Future Seven had just disappeared.

Seven shook her head furiously. “No! People are capable to change their future however they wish! Isn’t that your lesson for me? That I can still change my future?”

The Spirit didn’t answer, nor did it move this time.

Unable to contain any of the emotions that she felt before, Seven grasped her head in her own hands, pulling on her hair a little. She wanted the Spirit to scream at her, to be angry with her, to say anything! This silence was making her go crazy. The feelings of sorrow, fear, anger and grief were driving her mad.

She saw the serious face of Icheb, the crying face of Kathryn, the unmoving face of her future self… It was all becoming too much.

With a sob she raised her head again. “Am I… Am I the cause of Kathryn’s misery?”

The Spirit’s arm moved. The finger no longer pointed at the door. Instead, it moved with a slow arch until it pointed directly at Seven.

Tears slid down Seven’s cheeks as another sob broke through. “Please… no…”

But the finger didn’t move, it was still pointing at her in an accusing manner.

Seven hiccupped as she tried to talk and cry at the same time. “I… I have changed! I have learned the teachings of Christmas. I have seen what it can do… What it means to people. I will not become this… this version of my future self! I will be different!”

She wiped her hands over her face, closing her eyes and trying to unsee the accusing finger for a moment.

With a deep breath she opened her eyes again and lowered her hands. Her voice was hoarse from her tears. “Why are you showing me this if there is no hope that I can still change?”

The outstretched hand of the Spirit started to shake.

Feeling completely exhausted, Seven fell to her knees as her legs would not support her any longer. “Please,” she begged the Spirit. “Please, tell me that I can still change. I want to.”

The tremors that moved through the hand intensified.

“I promise…” Seven sobbed. “I promise that I will honor Christmas in my heart from now on and… and I will keep it all year long! I understand now why it is important. I understand now… I will live in the Past, Present and Future! I will follow your lessons.”

The despair that flowed through her body and mind suddenly became too much as she reached out and grabbed the outstretched hand, willing the finger to stop pointing at her and urging the Spirit to help her. To hear her.

The Spirit tried to pull its hand free but this time it was Seven whose grip was unbreakable as she held on for dear life. She felt like if she let go of the Spirit now, she would lose everything that she had gained.

Still, the Spirit proved to be stronger as suddenly the hand vanished from Seven’s grip. The Spirit itself disappeared as it was abruptly swallowed up. Not by the darkness of the spaceship of the future but by the darkness of the Cargo Bay of Voyager.

Seven fell forward and looked around, trying to see through the tears that blurred her vision.

She was home.

She cried freely now, both in relief and still in heartbreaking sadness as she knelt on the alcove platform of Voyager.

Chapter Text

Slowly the relief of being back on Voyager took over completely as Seven cried with happiness to see the Cargo Bay again.

After a while, as the more intense sobs subsided, she stood up on shaky legs and moved over to one of the walls to touch it, making sure that it was really there.

“Computer,” she called out weakly and the answering beep thrilled through her chest. “Turn on the lights. Maximum power.”

She laughed again with relief as the light blazed up and the full Cargo Bay came into view in all its familiar glory. She slowly stepped off the platform and walked over to the many crates that stood there. She touched one after the other, enjoying the coldness of the metal that touched her skin now.

“Computer,” she finally called out again, her voice still a bit hoarse from all the crying. “What time is it?”

“It is 0600 hours,” the Computer replied in its familiar voice.

Relief washed over Seven once again. “What day is it?” She asked, just to make sure.

“It is the 24th of December according to the Federation calendar.”

“Christmas Eve…” Seven whispered.

She laughed again, feeling all strange and giddy for some reason. She also felt very confused. Her inner clock was all messed up now. She felt like she had spent several days with the Ghosts of Christmas. But somehow she hadn’t missed anything.

She hadn’t missed the Christmas Eve party…

“Computer, how long have I been regenerating? And is something wrong with my alcove?” Seven turned around to face the platform again, eyeing it critically even though she already knew that there was nothing wrong with it.

“You have not regenerated for several days. There were no malfunctions found in your alcove.”

Seven smiled as her hypotheses were confirmed. These appearances had not been dreams and they had not been caused by some malfunction in her alcove. They had been real…

She turned to the workstation where she had been working when she first saw One from the corner of her eye.

But she knew that he would not appear again. Neither would the Spirits. She was alone again but not feeling lonely this time. She was still tired, especially because she hadn’t been able to regenerate, and her adventures had been quite taxing. But she also felt filled with a new kind of energy and hope. One that was urging her onward now toward the doors.

She stepped out into the corridors of Voyager and smiled again as she saw the familiar decorations lining the walls. One of her hands reached out and touched a holly branch reverently.

The corridors were quiet, the day shift hadn’t started yet so there weren’t a lot of people up and about.

Putting the dark doors of the Cargo Bay behind her, she started walking towards her destination.

After only a few paces, she heard someone coming towards her. They were singing.

Immediately, her sensitive hearing recognized the voice of the crewman that she had met the night before. He was singing a different carol this time and his singing had not improved technically.

As he turned the corner and saw her, he stopped dead in his tracks. A shadow passed over his face and he stopped singing. With a sigh, he continued to walk, keeping his eyes to the floor, trying to avoid her gaze.

Seven wavered for a moment, feeling some emotions of her former self resurface but then she shrugged them off as she started to sing in a clear voice.

“I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten and children listen
To hear sleigh bells in the snow.”

After the first few notes, he looked up at her in surprise and then a smile formed on his face as if the sun was slowly breaking through dark clouds.

They stood still in the middle of the corridor. As Seven reached the second verse of the song the crewman joined in and she changed the pitch of her voice, adding a second harmony to their song.

They sang the whole song together, without any audience, and then fell silent.

The crewman smiled at her and said, “Merry Christmas, Seven.”

“Merry Christmas to you too,” Seven whispered as she watched him continue on his way. Then she quickly shook herself a little and started walking again. She had work to do.

As she approached the Mess Hall, she could see that there was a sign posted to its door. It read that the Mess Hall was closed until Christmas Eve.

Feeling strangely cut short; Seven wondered for a moment what to do. She stared at the sign, contemplating why it was there. Then she decided not to throw away all of her old habits and started working on cracking the lock.

It didn’t take her long to open the doors, Neelix security measures were laughable. As the doors swung open to admit her, she happily walked in.

She could see that many preparations for the party had already been set in motion. Most of the trees that she had seen in her vision were already there, standing in neat rows and twinkling with little lights. But there was still a lot of decorating yet to do.

She turned around, wondering where to begin and tried to remember how the room had looked like in the vision from the Spirit.

But then her eyes landed on her own little tree.

It was standing in the corner where she had spotted it during her visit with the Spirit. It still looked sad compared to the others, but now Seven could change it.

She picked it up gingerly and contemplated her options for a moment. She looked at the other trees and at the boxes with all the baubles and ornaments that others had replicated but not used.

They did not feel right though, so she walked over to the replicator and ordered the supplies that she wanted.

With her little tree in one hand and a stack of colorful paper and tubes of glue and paint in the other, she sat down and went to work.

The memories that inspired her decorations still hurt and she could not linger on the sight of her parents too much without feeling overwhelmed with her emotions again. Instead, she decided to focus on little Annika and made the decorations that she would have loved.

Seven worked hard on it, trying to add her own touch to the stars and snowflakes that she was cutting out of the paper. Annika’s decorations had been pretty but clearly she had not been striving for perfection as Seven now was.

It took her a while but then she finally made enough decorations to make the tree look festive, without overdoing it. She went back to the replicator one more time to replicate some lights and then put them in the tree and took a step back.

With a nod she decided that it was good enough for now. She could probably work forever on perfecting the tree, maybe even cut some of its branches to make it look more symmetrical. But somehow that did not feel right, and she had more work to do still.

So she gently picked up the tree and set it with the others that were already there. Seeing her own tree standing in this miniature forest of Christmas trees almost made tears spring up in her eyes again. But she quickly pushed them away, there was no time for that.

She set up the tables for the food and drinks. She hung the garlands all around the walls, making them look a little neater and more symmetrical than they had done in her vision. She took some of the left-over ornaments and hung them in the garlands. She was just putting up a rather difficult star-shaped one, that somehow refused to hang straight, when she heard the doors open behind her.

She froze on the little ladder and didn’t turn around to see who it was. Slowly she put the star in place first and then stepped off the ladder.

Neelix and Kathryn were standing in the doorway to the Mess Hall, staring at her.

“Seven?” Neelix asked incredulously. “Why… I never!” He laughed and clapped his hands as he looked around the room. “Did you do all this?”

“Yes,” Seven said a little uncomfortable, clasping her hands behind her back. “I thought I could give you a hand.”

“A hand?” Neelix laughed again. “You almost finished all the work!” He turned around to the corner where her little tree had stood but it was no longer there. Then he noticed it standing with the others. “You know Seven that I only wanted you to decorate that little tree! You didn’t have to decorate the entire Mess Hall as well!”

Seven blushed a little, not so much by his words as by the look that Kathryn gave her. The Captain still hadn’t spoken.

“Well, Neelix,” Seven finally said. “It was long overdue that I helped with Christmas decorations. You can think of this as some back payments that I wanted to pay off.”

“Well, you are a wonder.” Neelix laughed again. “A true Christmas miracle. Right, Captain?”

Kathryn was still standing in the doorway and she did not look at Neelix as he turned to her. Instead, she kept her eyes firmly locked on Seven as she answered him, “She sure is.”

Seven’s blush deepened considerably and she quickly picked up another ornament and turned it over in her hands.

“Well, I better get the food preparations started,” Neelix said cheerfully as he disappeared toward the kitchen. “Unless you have finished all of that too, Seven?”

“Not yet, Mr. Neelix,” she quickly called out.

He laughed and then busied himself in the cupboards.

Seven sneaked another peak at Kathryn who hadn’t moved yet. “Captain?”

Kathryn smiled a little. “What changed your mind?”

“I…” Seven wondered where to begin. But then she realized that there was no way that she could tell Kathryn the full story of her adventures. By the time she would finish, the party would already have started. “It is a long story but… suffice it to say that I have found a new appreciation for Christmas. I have learned an important lesson. I now know that Christmas can really open your heart and show you… what is important.”

An image of One flashed before her mind’s eye. For a moment she imagined all the things he could have achieved if he had lived, all the adventures he could have had, all the connections he could have made with others.

But then when she looked at Kathryn again, all she could think was that she didn’t want to disappoint him and that she was going to try her very hardest to live her life to the fullest potential.

Kathryn walked closer, not breaking the eye contact between them.

Seven felt her heartbeat speed up with every step that the Captain took towards her. The intensity of her gaze almost made her dizzy again.

“I think I would like to hear the full story behind that realization one day,” Kathryn said with a smile.

“I…” Seven started but then she had to clear her throat before she could continue. “I would like to tell you… one day.”

Kathryn’s smile widened and then she looked around the room. “For now, shall I give you a hand in finishing these… what did you call it? Back payments?”

“Yes. Thank you,” Seven stammered as she handed Kathryn the ornament that she had been fiddling with, trying to ignore the sparks that flew up her arms as their fingers briefly touched. “That would be nice.”

“Unless…” Kathryn’s smile wavered a little. “Unless you want to go back to the Astrometrics Lab and finish your scans?”

Seven stared at her for a few moments and then she suddenly remembered. She had completely forgotten about her scans and the strange reading that she had wanted to study. Somehow it seemed so irrelevant now. The irony was not lost on her and a little smile appeared on her lips. “No. I would rather focus on what is really important. This is the Delta Quadrant after all, there are too many mysteries for us to study.”

Seven would never forget the look on Icheb’s face as he spotted her, standing in the middle of the room, as he walked in with Harry in tow.

“Seven?” Icheb called out happily. “You came!”

“Yes,” Seven managed to say before he hugged her tightly. “I am sorry, Icheb.”

“For what?” He asked her with a frown.

She remembered the Icheb from the future and the things that he had said, or would say, about her. The way she had let him down and had abandoned him on Earth. But then she quickly banished the memory from her mind. It was a memory of a future that she was going to work very hard to prevent from ever happening. She smiled at him. “I am sorry for working you so hard over the past few days and for not… realizing the importance of Christmas.”

“It is fine, Seven.” He smiled back at her. “The important thing is that you are here now and that we can celebrate Christmas together. As a family!”

Seven glanced at Harry but he did not look sad as he smiled back at her. Then he said, “Merry Christmas, Seven.”

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” she said softly as he and Icheb moved over to the table with drinks.

More and more people came into the room and Seven was happy to note that all of them seemed happy that she was there. Some were surprised, but none of them seemed uncomfortable by it. She felt like she belonged there, and it was a very warm feeling.

The chatter of all the people gathered was like music to her ears and the smell of Neelix’s Christmas dishes reminded her of the bounty that had surrounded the Spirit of Christmas Present in the Cargo Bay. But everything around her looked brighter, smelled better and sounded more harmonious than ever before.

Her eggnog, which she had made after she had finished hanging up all the decorations with Kathryn, was a big hit and Neelix told everyone that she had made it.

“Is this a secret recipe, Seven?” B’Elanna asked her as she finished another glass. “Because it is absolutely delicious.”

“No, it is not a secret,” Seven told her. “It is my aunt’s recipe. She loved… loves Christmas.”

“I’m sure she does!” B’Elanna smiled at her and then walked over to the table to get another glass.

Tom winked at Seven as he hurried after his wife. “Better keep an eye on her!”

Seven smiled as well and only then did she notice how Tom and B’Elanna were wearing outfits that matched perfectly. Tom was wearing a black suit that was quite fancy for him and B’Elanna was wearing her beautiful dress. But Seven could see that they were both wearing comical Christmas socks and somehow they made the combination work.

Lost in thoughts and memories, Seven didn’t notice that Kathryn was walking towards her until she was standing right next to her.

“I think this is one of the best Christmas parties we’ve ever had,” Kathryn sighed happily.

Seven looked at her as the Captain surveyed her crew. “It really is wonderful.”

Kathryn looked up at her and smiled. Then she put down her glass and tugged on Seven’s arm. “Come with me, I have something for you.”

The way she guided Seven over to a corner of the room, one hand on her arm, was so much like the Spirits guiding her that Seven had to remind herself that she was not experiencing another vision right now. This was all real.

“This will do,” Kathryn said as they reached a quiet spot, away from the center of the party. “I just needed a little peace and quiet to talk to you. Because I wanted to tell you that I really am very happy that you came tonight, Seven. Very happy indeed.”

Seven felt her cheeks heat up again as she looked her Captain in the eyes. “I am also very happy that I came… Kathryn.”

The slight blush that had been on Kathryn’s cheeks visibly deepened as Seven used her first name. Seven’s sensitive hearing even heard her heart skip a beat, which in turn made her own heart stammer in her chest.

“Seven… I…” Kathryn stammered and then she sighed, looking away from Seven for a moment and looking around the room as if to find some way to say what she wanted to say.

Then her eyes suddenly landed on the branch that was hanging from the ceiling, right above them. “What’s this?”

“Mistletoe,” Seven answered without taking her eyes off Kathryn. She felt strangely focused somehow, almost charged with a peculiar energy.

“I didn’t replicate that!” Kathryn laughed and then looked back at Seven. Her smile wavered as she noticed the intense look on Seven’s face.

“No,” Seven answered, her voice dropping to almost a whisper. “I did.”

Then all thoughts abandoned her. She did not think about the mistletoe and its significance. She did not think about her lessons with the Spirits. She did not think about One and his unfinished potential.

She did not think at all as she bent down and kissed Kathryn.

It was a short kiss, just a peck really. They were still in a crowded Mess Hall and Seven had not completely forgotten that. Also, a small part of her still wondered if Kathryn would approve. If she would like to be kissed by her. She hadn’t really asked her for permission.

But when she pulled back and opened her eyes again, she found Kathryn staring at her with a wide smile on the lips that she had just kissed.

“Well…” She said breathlessly. “That was the best Christmas present I ever got.”

Seven returned her smile shyly. “Perhaps next year… I can get you a real present.”

“Or we just make this a tradition,” Kathryn said as her smile turned into the lopsided grin that Seven loved so much. “But it does bring to mind the reason why I brought you over here. I actually got you a present.”

Then she leaned down and retrieved a small package from behind one of the tables that stood nearby.

“You should not have gotten me something,” Seven stammered. “Also… How did you know that I would come after all?”

“I didn’t know,” Kathryn answered as she held out the present to her. “I could only hope you would.”

Seven looked down at the present and then took it in her hands. It was beautifully wrapped in green paper that had little white snowflakes on it. A red ribbon was wrapped around it and a little name sticker with a gingerbread man read her name. It was a present that was put together with care.

“Kathryn…” Seven started, looking up in those lovely gray eyes again.

“Don’t say anything before you’ve opened it.” Kathryn said and she bit her lower lip nervously.

Seven nodded and then carefully opened her present, not tearing the paper and smoothing out the ribbon.

It was a book, one that she was not familiar with. Seven read the title out loud, “A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Thank you. Is it a book of Christmas songs?”

“No,” Kathryn laughed. “You really don’t know it? It is a very famous Christmas novel.”

“I am afraid that the Borg did not contain any knowledge about Christmas that they assimilated,” Seven said while flipping carefully through the first few pages of the book. “They really thought such things were irrelevant.”

She missed the shadow that briefly passed over Kathryn’s face as she mentioned the Borg.

But Kathryn quickly shook it off as she explained further, “It is an old story about a mean old man who gets visited by three Spirits of Christmas, Past, Present and Future.”

Seven almost dropped the book as she looked up at Kathryn in surprise. She could feel the blood draining from her face and she almost swayed a little.

Kathryn’s face fell as she took in Seven’s response. “Have I offended you?”

“No!” Seven said quickly. “No, not at all.”

“So… You do know it already?”

“No…” Seven said slowly and then looked down at the book again. “Not this particular version. But I am sure I will enjoy reading it.”

She flipped through the pages just to have something to do while she slowed down her heartbeat and steadied her nerves.

Then she looked up at Kathryn again, who was looking at her with an apprehensive look on her face.

“Thank you, Kathryn,” Seven said as she put a hand on Kathryn’s arm. “And… Merry Christmas.”

Kathryn’s smile was brighter than any light that Seven had seen that day or during her visions with the Spirits.

Kathryn briefly glanced up at the mistletoe again and then leaned up to kiss Seven. Then she whispered, “Merry Christmas, Seven.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment longer but then they remembered that they were still at a Christmas party with the rest of the crew.

Kathryn led Seven back to the center of the room and quickly picked up two more glasses of eggnog.

“Excuse me!” Kathryn called out, effectively causing everyone to stop talking immediately. “I won’t keep you long and I certainly won’t give a long speech.”

Tom cheered and got B’Elanna’s elbow in his ribs.

Kathryn only laughed before continuing, “I just wanted to say that I’m very grateful that I can celebrate Christmas in this way with all of you.” Her eyes briefly landed on Seven. “Of course we are always looking for a way home. But in the meantime, I look forward to spending many more holidays with my Voyager family, either here on this wonderful ship or back on Earth.”

A round of applause was given, and hugs were exchanged with Harry getting a particular warm hug from Jenny Delany.

Kathryn smiled brightly, winked at Seven and then raised her glass higher. “Then there is only one more thing I want to say to you… Merry Christmas! And I hope that God or whatever entity you believe in will bless you all. Every one!”