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Day 2: “No Good At Lip Service (Except When It's Yours)”
Prompt: Whitestone Husbands
“I actually find the whole thing incredibly frustrating,” Percy ran his hands through his hair, which, usually perfectly slicked back and in place, was fluffy and pointing at all kinds of strange angles. It rather reminded Vax of a duckling, and he had to fight to keep the fond smile from taking over his very serious listening face. “I'm trying to take my position seriously, and I have all these plans for restoring and elevating the city - which I think are rather good by the way - and they take a back seat to discussions of which random widowed noble or their child I ought to wed! Am I not more than chattel to be sold for a political alliance, Vax’ildan? Am I not a renowned inventor? Am I not the Architect of Enlightened Progress?”
Percy had reached a point in his rant where he had whirled to face Vax, expression of extreme consternation on his face, brandishing his hands in the air to punctuate his rhetorical questions. Vax had been enjoying the show - specifically the way the normally tightlaced Lord seemed to be unravelling before his eyes - and had almost forgotten he might be called upon to respond.
“You certainly are all those things, Freddie, and I'm sure they haven't forgotten,” he tried for a reassuring and placating tone.
“Cassandra devotes at least the last half hour of each meeting to going through the new propositions we have received. She doesn't even seem to care if I'm there or not. I half expect her to simply announce my betrothal to me over tea one morning!”
“And you don't want to get married. Correct?”
“Correct, Vax’ildan. Obviously! I have far more important things to be thinking about! I have a city to run!”
“Well then,” Vax made a show of pondering, tapping his index finger against his chin, furrowing his brow and pursing his lips, “you probably need to take yourself off the marriage market somehow. Make yourself less of a prospect.”
“I'm already a dreadful prospect for anybody. I spend all my time in my workshop or in council meetings, and all I want to talk about is city planning and engineering. I'm a highly strung, obsessive insomniac! Tell me how that's desirable in a marriage partner.” He stared Vax down, eyebrow raised as if in checkmate.
“I rather enjoy spending time with you despite all that,” he shrugged, smiling pleasantly, “it's certainly not a deal-breaker for a handsome young man like you.”
“Don't be glib, Vax,” Percy scoffed.
“I'm not! What with those steely eyes, talented hands, and those big, strong adventuring muscles…” Percy rolled his eyes, but his cheeks flushed slightly at the compliment, which made Vax grin. “You're a catch, Freddie. You're going to have to think of something better than simply presenting yourself as you are if you want to dissuade the attentions of all the nice marriageable nobles out there.”
“And what would you propose in your infinite wisdom?” The sarcasm was practically visible the way it dripped from Percy's tongue.
“I don't know, Percy. Tell them you're already married?”
Percy barked a laugh. Stopped. Seemed to consider.
“You know, Vax, that's actually genius.”
Vax blinked. He had been half joking, already brainstorming the next ridiculous idea - faking Percy's death, perhaps, or feigning a religious vow of celibacy - but he wasn’t one to turn down praise. He smiled lazily, masking his surprised delight at solving Percy's problem so quickly and flippantly, as though he had known the merit of his suggestion all along.
“You sound so surprised. I do have good ideas every so often, you know.”
Percy ignored him and began pacing, scratching his temple in thought.
“Who, though? I can't exactly make somebody up, they'll demand proof. It needs to be somebody I have a believable connection with. Shared history. Somebody willing to go along with a ruse…”
Vax cleared his throat and Percy whirled around at the sound, locking eyes with Vax. Vax’s grin didn't falter at the intensity of Percy's gaze. He was always fantastic at acting on impulse, after all. He barely had time to think about how truly terrible this idea was and how it was certainly going to blow up in his face before:
“Gods, Percival darling, there's no need to twist my arm, I accept, I accept, one thousand times yes.” The words came out so easily. Vax placed the back of his hand against his forehead and pretended to swoon backwards onto the desk.
There was a long pause. Vax winced internally. Perhaps it was a bit far. Perhaps Percy thought the idea of being married, even fake married, to Vax was too intolerable an idea and he was just trying to think of a way to turn him down politely-
“Do you mean it?” Percy's voice was quiet. Hesitant. “Would you actually, you know… do that for me?”
Vax pushed himself slowly back into a seated position. Percy’s brow was furrowed, his eyes locked on Vax. Vax met his gaze with a lopsided smile and no small degree of trepidation. Something about this moment felt important - weighty - which was absurd considering the context.
Percy bit his lip, looked away.
“Sorry, Vax, you were just joking and I made it weird, I didn't-”
Before Percy could finish his sentence, Vax had slid from his seated position on the desk and onto one knee on the plush carpet in front of Percy. He twisted a silver ring from his own right hand ring finger - a simple band with a feather engraved - and held it up.
Percy's eyebrows shot up, but his attention was now locked back on Vax.
“Percival Freddie Von Clifford Mc Long-Ass Name de Rolo the Fuckteenth, would you do me the honour of pretending to be married to me so that your well-meaning but misguided council can focus on your innovative city planning rather than your relationship status?”
“Vax, are you being serious or is this all a bit?” Percy's voice was stern, but there was something vulnerable in there too that made Vax’s heart clench. A tiny traitorous part of Vax told him that he needed Percy to say yes, that it would crush him if he didn't. Vax mentally kicked that part. Viciously and repeatedly.
“Can't it be both?” He smiled a little awkwardly, letting a bit of his sincerity shine through. “I do so love a bit, as you know. But I also want to take this burden from you, my friend. Free up that genius brain for the real problems you're facing. Freddie, if you want me to be, I'm serious as a heart attack.”
Percy let out a shaky little laugh and ran his hands through his hair.
“Alright, fuck it. Let's be married.”
Something traitorous in Vax's stomach swooped. It's fake it's fake it's fake, it's pretend, it's make-believe.
“Give me your hand, Freddie.”
“Oh, you're serious about that part, too?”
Vax rolled his eyes and held out his own left hand.
“Did you really think I wouldn't give you a ring? What kind of lout do you take me for?”
Percy laughed, placing his hand in Vax’s with an exaggerated little flourish, his other hand pressed to his chest and a beatific little smile on his face, the perfect parody of a blushing bride as Vax slid the ring onto his finger.
It fit surprisingly well, if a little more snug than it had on Vax. All the better to stay on forever, Vax absolutely did not think to himself. He swallowed down the strange lump in his throat at the sight of his own jewellery on Percy's pale, calloused hand, and imagined running a thumb over Percy's knuckles. Perhaps dipping his head to kiss those long, hesitant fingers…
Clearing his throat, Vax sprang up from standing, and, in a move he would later be amazed he ever expected to execute smoothly, he dipped Percy, intending to plant a smacker of a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Unfortunately, Percy wriggled in his grip like a cat in the arms of a toddler, throwing off Vax’s balance and sending the pair of them careening to the floor in a tangle of limbs.
Not to be deterred, Vax pinned Percy down, knees on either side of his waist, and hands fighting to keep his arms away from where they were attempting to dislodge Vax, and licked him up the side of his face.
“Vax’ildan! You're a fucking child!” Percy shrieked, breaking one arm free from Vax's hold and palming Vax's face away from his. Vax could feel the rumble of silent laughter from Percy's chest even as he spluttered, and felt an answering warmth in his own.
“You're the one who wants to marry me,” he crowed back, as Percy tried to dislodge him, and laughed gleefully as he continued not to succeed.
“Maybe I've changed my mind!” Before Vax even had the chance to make a retort, Percy grabbed his back and rolled, landing Vax on his back now, his legs still caught around Percy's waist, breath knocked out of his lungs. Percy propped himself up on his forearms so he could look Vax in the eye. His stormy eyes were so close to Vax's, now, that he couldn't quite focus on them, his warm breath misting Vax's cheek. “Maybe I should take that Viscountess up on her offer. She seemed incredibly polite, and her offer of established trade routes was more than generous.”
Vax gasped in false outrage. Ignoring the uncharitable little voice telling him that if this Viscountess was really so great, why hadn't Percy married her already?
“Percival, darling, what could she possibly give you that I can't? Besides trade deals, and political clout, and possibly an heir?” He pumped his performance full of melodrama, reaching up to grasp Percy's face between his palms.
Percy pretended to consider the question for a second.
“Peace and quiet? A word in edgeways?”
Vax gasped again.
“You wound me!” He dropped his voice to a breathy whisper, then, softening his eyes and parting his lips in a parody of doe-eyed seduction. “Just give me the chance, lover, and I'll show you how generous I can be.”
Percy let out a tiny, strangled sound, as Vax bumped their noses together, their lips a hair’s breadth apart. Percy's breaths seemed ragged now, uncertain, and Vax wondered what would happen if he just leaned in a few more millimetres… if he just closed the gap…
But he was a coward.
Taking advantage of Percy's distraction, he flipped them once more and sprang to his feet, flushed and laughing, and held out a hand to Percy once more.
After a second of dazed confusion, face flushed, sprawled rumpled on his back, blinking up at the ceiling, Percy rolled his eyes, pointedly ignored Vax's outstretched hand and clambered to his feet - a little less gracefully than Vax had, he noted with satisfaction.
“I can't believe I'm agreeing to this,” Percy huffed, going to straighten his shirt and waistcoat.
“Nobody's forcing you,” Vax crossed his arm and raised an eyebrow, challenging. “You're allowed to say no.” Please don't, please don't, please don't.
Percy rolled his eyes. “Like I said, I can't believe I'm agreeing to this,” he took Vax's face in his hands. “Stop being a brat.” Percy kissed Vax's forehead with a loud smack, then released his face, ruffled his hair, and turned his attention to fixing Vax's rumpled clothing.
The traitorous warmth in Vax's chest was threatening to spill out and make itself known to Percy, and Vax wasn't about to let that happen. He swatted Percy's hands away.
“Leave it be,” Vax suggested, “give the servants something to talk about. Drop some breadcrumbs in advance of the secret marriage announcement.”
Percy flushed. Vax smiled innocently at him.
“You may be fine with blatant exhibitionism, Vax’ildan, but it's rather out of character for one of my standing. I'm trying to get them to take me seriously, remember?”
Vax smiled fondly at the way Percy’s spine straightened and his lips pursed in disapproval.
“Well, I'll just have to put on enough of a show for the both of us, then, won't I?”
“Vax’ildan, what are you doing?” Percy's tone took on a note of warning.
“Nothing you need concern yourself about, dear,” he said in a placating tone as he deftly undid Percy's ministrations, loosening the ties of his shirt just a little lower than before.
“Vax-” Percy tried to catch him as he started from the room, but he wasn't fast enough. Vax grabbed him by the waist instead, spinning them so that Percy was no longer between him and the door, then dropped a quick kiss on Percy's cheek and slipped from the suite, grinning to himself like a madman.
He left Percy standing in the middle of the room staring after him, mouth agape and looking half horrified, half dazed. He sauntered off down the hall, looking thoroughly debauched, and decidedly not thinking about the way Percy's thighs had felt bracketing his own. Or how close his face had been and how eager he had seemed…
Vax rather thought he might swing by the kitchens on his way back to his own quarters. Give the staff something to talk about. He had a bit to commit to, after all.