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Chapter Text

the first storyline

jon connington, lord of griffin's roost, hand of the king

alysanne hightower

ronald connington, castellan of griffin's roost

ronnet connington

ianthe storm

atera targaryen, princess of the seven kingdoms

leyton hightower, lord of oldtown

baelor hightower

garth hightower

leyla hightower

jon cupps

vortimer crane, lord of red lake

laverna meadows, lady of red lake

alline crane, lady appletone

jason appletone, knight of appletone

lediana crane, lady serry

theadore serry, lord regent of serry

simonne crane, lady of webber

william webber, lord of webber

liliana webber

charlene webber

leo costayne

igor vyrwell

arthur ambrose, knight of ambrose

ser richard lonmouth

ser finnan dunn

ser addam marbrand

ser arys oakheart

ser daemon sand

aethan velaryon, lord regent of driftmark

ravella bar emmon

aurane waters

the second storyline

lyanna stark

ser oswell whent

rhaegar targaryen, king of the seven kingdoms

elia martell, queen of the seven kingdoms

the third storyline

ashara dayne

ser barristan selmy

arthur dayne, the sword of the morning

Chapter Text

281 AC, Harrenhal

“Your majesty.”, Jon entered the room with a bow. After a quick quarrel with Rhaegar, they decided for him to enter first and try his luck. He was not expecting to see Varys.

Aerys nodded to him and turned back to his Master of Whisperers. “Go on.”, Varys sent a suspicious look to Jon, which he answered in a threatening way that made Varys turn his head away.

“I fear the words have been proven true and Ser Doric is indeed the mystery knight, my king.”, despite Jon’s presence there, he dared to lie. “And not only that,”, he continued. “Ser Doric apparently declares for all to hear that after Lord Tywin’s dismissal from his office, the realm has weakened under your rule. It is clearly motivating people to rebel with him.”

“Your grace, not even for one second I would think this is true.”, Jon spoke with bored eyes. “Ser Doric is an honourable knight in the service of the crown. He fought valiantly in two wars and I am told he also wants to be listed for the upcoming conflict between Braavos and the Triarchy.”

“We thought the same, my lord.”, Varys mocked him. “But perhaps you should remember the past. Hightowers, unlike the Targaryens, always had a closer relationship with the Lannisters, ever since the forming days of the Dance.”

“As the Master of Whisperers, your duty is not about the past or the future, but the present.”

“I merely stated my thoughts-“

“Who asked for your thoughts?”, Jon asked firmly, Aerys wondered what his son found in him to befriend him. “Your only duty is to give objective news and that is it.”, Varys bit his tongue. “And if you want to focus on the past that much, let me remind you one of the reasons for Lord Tywin’s dismissal -a dismissal that if I recall right, you had objected,”, Varys’ ears turned red under Aerys’ sharp gaze. “he attacked on Lady Atera, Ser Doric’s sister whom he treasures very much, as everyone in the realm can confirm without your little whispers and birds.”, he scoffed. “Such an insult does not go lightly.”

“If you want to focus on the present, my lord, here is also this; a marriage arrangement was about to happen between Lady Alysanne Hightower, Lord Hightower’s fifth daughter, and Ser Jaime Lannister shortly before he was appointed as kingsguard. Not to mention Lady Atera herself took him as her sworn sword.”

“Under the orders of our king, yes.”, he was not going to lose a debate against a leech like Varys. “And that betrothal, as I was also informed about it, was not the design of Lord Hightower but the offer of Kevan Lannister.”, he turned to Aerys who seemed interested, Jon had to spin the tale and Baelor Hightower was not here, to tell the truth anyways. “Which got rejected.”

“My birds-“

“Did your birds also mention to you that I myself am interested in the said lady and waiting for the tourney to end to make an official proposal?”, Jon snapped at him and to that, both Varys and Aerys raised their eyebrows in surprise, they were not expecting that. “That’s what I thought.”, Jon mumbled and turned back to the king. It seemed one of Atera’s crack ideas saved the day, again. And soon enough, he could find himself married by accident, just because he didn’t let Rhaegar enter first. “With past and possibilities; no man who bled for this realm can be blamed.”, he concluded.

“But there would also not be smoke if someone lit a fire.”, Varys pushed nevertheless. He needed Hightowers out of the game.

All of them.

“Who even pointed out it can be him?”, Jon questioned. “There were almost a thousand people there, nobles and smallfolk alike, foreign ambassadors, mercenaries, soldiers, traders and all. Who was this obsessed with Ser Doric that waited for him for all those hours and afterwards can swear that he was not there?”, Varys’ eyes widened with that, it seemed that child knew a thing about how to play the game.

Blaming the queen, undirectly and ambitiously, with infidelity was a bold move.

Aerys, who was sure that Jon was not capable of guessing it was Cersei herself who spun the tale, seemed surprised even for a second and Varys admitted internally that he made a mistake. Rhaella suffered greatly under the hands of Aerys and Varys knew the events to their full extent due to his little birds. He thought Rhaegar’s side would show weakness and would not pick apart Cersei, fearing she would get the same treatment as Rhaella which was why he pushed Cersei to the middle of the chessboard.

Apparently, he was wrong.

“My birds-“

“How ironic that your birds always point out people you have hostility with.”, Jon shut him up. “Everybody knows how much you hated the peace with Braavos and want to support your old friends, Pentos and the Triarchy, therefore grew an enmity towards Lord Hightower and one does not need ‘little birds’ to sneak into conversations that they are not a part of to know that, anyone with a brain can see this.”, Varys was raving. “Everybody knows you are after ending that treaty with Braavos and you held House Hightower responsible for this, not to mention it was them who uncovered your affinity with Illyrio Mopatis. So it explains why you chose a Hightower as your target. I bet if he had not been injured earlier, Ser Garth would be your pick.”

The accusation was too heavy, enough to take Varys down with it if they were lucky.

“Is there anything else you will add, Connington?”, the king asked, but it was obvious he was suspicious.

“Ser Doric is innocent and it would not be wise to insult such an ancient and great house with powerful ties within the realm based on nothing, no proof.”, he looked to Jon as he said the last word. “I would suggest to be careful and move with delicacy.”

“Your suggestions are noted, you can leave now.”, he dismissed both.

*

“Did you know your friend is in love?”, Aerys asked out of nowhere while Rhaegar was ranting about setting Doric Hightower free and Rhaegar almost choked on his spit.

“W-What?”, stuttering made things worse but at least he managed to keep his face contained.

Still, Aerys understood he was aware of Atera and Arthur.

“Jon.”, he said with a knowing smile to relax Rhaegar. “He is planning to propose when the tourney ends. He finally seems to be in love and I must say that I approve of his choice of wife. Could he do better?”, he pursed his lips. “Of course. He is my Hand now, and is good at it.”, he was surprised by it. Jon was truly being objective in the council and while Aerys still got the ire from him, he appreciated him on a formal level. “Stark has a daughter,”, Rhaegar got tensed again but this time Aerys did not understand the reason. “or that other Tully girl perhaps, they could be more fitting. Fifth daughter of some lord seems like a very low rank but given who that lord is…”, he raised his eyebrows. “It will be a fitting match. What do you think?”

Rhaegar thought nothing because he had no idea what was happening. “I believe Jon should do what would make him happy.”, it seemed like the best answer. He could not outright say he didn’t know what was happening, and would not give such leverage to his father. “He is an adult, an appropriate age to marry and have children.”, though he had no idea how that was going to happen. “And is the only child of his father, so perhaps he should even hurry up, to secure his legacy.”

Why on earth Jon would not tell him if he finally decided to marry?

How would that even work? They never talked outright with full honesty, except for that one time in the Kingswood while they were arguing about who should Rhaegar marry, but he was aware of his friend’s preferences. And his true feelings. Jon did not want him to acknowledge so Rhaegar never did and he admitted that he was oblivious but Jon loved him longer than Elia, and much more than Arthur. Not even he could be oblivious to that.

And there was also Richard who Rhaegar knew that shared Jon’s not only trust but bed as well. And he knew even though they had ended (and he was roaming around Myles in these days, made the younger boy blush but truth be told, Rhaegar had no intentions to be involved with that drama, he had enough of them, thanks to Arthur and Atera), Jon was not actively searching for a new lover for a long time.

And he only had interest in men, not in women, not even once Rhaegar heard or felt that.

Oberyn was not like that, as much as Elia told him. He enjoyed both men and women and Richard seemed to be like him as well but Jon never showed any interest in the latter. And if Rhaegar thought a bit deeper; Jon never showed any interest in sex as well, saw it only as a duty to fulfil that his body commands, a way to relieve the tension and sleep easily. He surely did enjoy it because they lasted long with Richard but in all the years Rhaegar had known him, he never craved it. Next to Jon, Rhaegar and Arthur would seem like womanizers to a degree though they could never compete with Oberyn.

He frowned, intended to do so internally but he was aware that his face crossed with it. Jon did need to marry, from a logical point of view, he saw that. He was the only child of his father who was very sick (Jon had been praying for him to die for a very long time now), and he bore little love for his cousins. So he truly did need to have children -an heir and a spare, preferably, Rhaegar did not think Jon would mind the gender. And in order to have children, he needed to marry and he needed to marry with someone important so they could secure support when the time came. Rhaegar did not remember it well but Elia suggested either Lyanna Stark or Lysa Tully, just like his father said. Lysa Tully especially would be a great choice.

Then how on earth his friend did not see that and chose someone else?

Who would have more impact than the daughter of Lord Paramount? Who would make a better wife?

“You have no idea what I am talking about, no?”, Aerys asked with an amused smile and Rhaegar did not answer. “Alysanne Hightower.”, he explained and Rhaegar raised his eyebrows with that.

Rhaegar has always been good at politics but there was a reason why Jon was his right-hand man despite being a Stormlander and the fact that Rhaegar did his duty perfectly well enough.

Jon was simply better.

Alysanne Hightower, as Rhaegar met -which was a joyful meeting, was Leyton Hightower’s favourite child, as everybody knew. Of course, he loved his Velaryon children more, Rhaegar did witness that but Alysanne was simply his favourite. A proposal from the Hand would not get rejected because Jon was, by far, the most eligible bachelor in the realm. Given that Oberyn was betrothed already they were not considering candidates for Viserys. Of course, he would accept so when the time comes, of course, Leyton Hightower would have to support Rhaegar because of Jon.

And with Hightowers, the Reach would follow.

“A fitting match indeed.”, he couldn’t help but say. “But would Lord Hightower agree after we, wrongly and without proof,”, he sent a look to his father. “imprisoned his brother?”

“It is why I do not trust Jon’s judgement on this matter.”, Rhaegar could not connect the dots between two things. “What if he is trying to set him free just to get that girl as a prize?”

“I am more than sure he wants that girl as a wife.”, he corrected his father. “And you should know by now that Jon does not make decisions based on his emotions.”

Rhaegar heard words, as did many people, he assumed, about the brother of Alysanne Hightower. Almost the entire realm knew Lord Hightower’s spare heir had more affection for male companions than of women and when he visited brothels, he sought the company of the same gender. Some words went even as far as to suggest that he had already been in a relationship with Daven Ashford.

Alysanne would be discreet and understanding of Jon’s choices.

And she certainly took it after her aunt and father, Rhaegar could say that, even her Crane uncle was more politically inclined so being the wife of the Hand would be sufficient for her. And Jon would treat her well. He was not half as rich as Leyton, no, but even her dowry was enough to make Jon one of the richest men in the realm. And House Hightower was far above House Connington so it would give him extreme prestige and would level Dorne and the Reach, to a degree. And most importantly; Jon would be protected in his position. His father could not execute or exile him. Just like he couldn’t do a thing to Doric Hightower now.

This idea reeked of Atera.

“Perhaps.”, Aerys pursed his lips. “Leyton is Doric’s brother, of course, he thinks he is innocent.”, Aerys tried to explain his point of view. “Jon wants to marry his niece so of course he advocated for his innocence.”, his pale blue eyes looked at his son. “What affinity do you have towards the Hightowers that you are here to convince me, than watching the joust and get ready for your own time?”

If his father thought he had any sort of affinition towards them, he was wrong. Rhaegar could save Doric with only two words but he was not going to do that. He was actively choosing to protect Lyanna Stark instead of Atera’s brother. And he was aware that both Arthur and Elia were doing the same.

From Atera’s point of view; this certainly would look like treason. But here was this; the king could not harm Doric. Rhaegar knew for one, he was not going to harm him. It was not about Leyton or Hightowers though, simply because he was Gerold’s nephew. He only threw him into the cells to make Rhaegar break, he saw that crystal clear now. He thought Rhaegar was lying and thought imprisoning a Hightower would make him confess because he thought he had ‘affinition’ towards them.

Rhaegar did not though, not truly.

Was he going to allow an innocent man to get punished for a crime he did not commit? Of course not. But was he going to deliberately eat his own words, break his promise and throw a child in front of his father out of worry? No, not in a million years. Perhaps Doric Hightower would spend a few more nights in the cells but Rhaegar was not going to break and the king would have no choice but to let him go. The nephew of the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard could not get executed -or whatever his father planned for the actual culprit, for treason.

Not when a war was coming.

“Lord Hightower happens to be our cousin of some degree.”, Rhaegar chose the use the family ties. “He is the grandson of Princess Daella,”, Aerys’ face softened with her mention. “and a renowned soldier and a commander and has absolutely no reason to do this.”

“Where is Atera?”, Aerys asked a moment later. “I was expecting her to come and speak in her brother’s favour.”

Rhaegar had no idea where she was. “Not many people know about this. Perhaps Lord Hightower saw fit not to inform her.”

Aerys narrowed his eyes. “As you say.”, he stood up and Rhaegar followed his motions. “Your suggestions are noted.”, he said nonchalantly. “But as long as he is proven innocent, he is guilty in my eyes so tell the next person that would try to convince me it is a bad idea to mess with Leyton; do not waste your breath. Instead, tell me what the hell he was doing.”

“Why don’t we just ask him?”, Rhaegar asked tiredly and Aerys smiled.

“What fun would there be then?”

*

“So, what we have achieved today?”, Rhaegar was sitting at the edge of the bed, looking to the empty air, questioning his life choices. Closing the door, Elia approached him and sat next to him.

Both were depressed for a change.

“I got rejected by Leyton Hightower, sharply.”, Rhaegar confessed it with a quiet voice. “You?”

“I got rejected by Leyton Hightower, sharply.”, she pursed her lips. “It would hurt less if he would not be this handsome.”, she added with annoyance. Rhaegar slowly turned to her but said nothing. “He has abandoned Atera.”

“He will not support us.”

“He disinherited his own sister because she slept with your best friend, of course, he will not support us.”

“His sister has endangered his entire family and his house’s reputation by sleeping with a kingsguard, of course, he will abandon her.”, he shook his head. “He said I am no leader.”

“He said he made a playground for Atera and she mistook it for the reality.”

“He is a bully.”, Rhaegar concluded and she chuckled at that.

“He is brutal but effective.”, she couldn’t help but agree. “What will we do then?”

“I’ll need the nobles at my side. So I’ll get the nobles at my side. You?”

“I have no idea.”, she shrugged. “Atera will need to marry Oberyn but only Gods knows what it will turn out to be like. And for the rest; I think, and I am not sure if confessing this will make me a bad person but, it is a good thing Lord Hightower found out.”, Rhaegar turned to her. “Andric shouldn’t have said that and of course, I would not want Atera to fight with her brother but at least she and Arthur are done for. So we have one problem less.”

Rhaegar looked at her wanting to say he didn’t think anything end at all but he decided not to. “Jon is going to propose to Alysanne Hightower.”

Elia raised her eyebrows. “He should marry Lysa Tully. Or with Ashara. Not with that girl.”

“Ashara is, unfortunately, not a good match for a man in his standing.”, they all needed some brutal honesty today. “House Dayne is an important house in Dorne but not in the rest of the Westeros and House Connington is far more important and influential. Jon is richer than Andric, and Jon is more powerful than Andric. Ashara’s only importance is that she is your chief lady-in-waiting but I don’t see her marrying with an heir outside of the Dorne -an important heir.”, Elia seemed stunned by his choice of words but he continued without minding. “Lysa Tully is the daughter of a Paramount so yes, it would take him higher than he could ever hope for. It would not even be a match he could dream of if he were not the Hand but that man refused Jaime Lannister. He’ll not accept Jon, especially not when his position is not secured. I heard Elbert Arryn is an option he is leaning towards. Also Tullys do not have a firm hand on their bannermen and are not that rich or influential. Alysanne Hightower, despite being Lord Hightower’s seventh child, is a far better match for Jon.”

“Jon does not have a high stand enough to marry a Hightower.”, she narrowed her eyes. “Not if he were not the Hand.”

“Even if he were not the Hand, he was my castellan, still above Ashara.”, he was not trying to insult her but Leyton was right. He needed to be logical. “It never would make a suitable match. What is there Ashara can offer him?”

“What is there Jon can offer her?”, Elia raised her voice in a knowing way. “Lord Hightower is no fool. He’ll not accept such an offer.”

“House Hightower is thriving.”, he disagreed. “His sister is going to be a princess, his eldest daughter is married to a Paramount Lord, and now his other daughter will marry the Hand himself. He’ll accept it and he’ll keep Jon there -something Hoster Tully cannot guarantee. And with this marriage, he will support me, whether he wants it or not.”

“Why Alysanne?”, Elia frowned. “She has two older sisters. Why her?”

“Because Atera likes her better.”, Rhaegar raised an eyebrow. “I should have understood she had plans with her the moment she took her under her wings.”

“Now you opened it,”, Elia seemed stressed. “Rhaegar, Atera cannot know what truly happened yesterday.”, she felt so guilty for saying it but it was the truth. “We cannot afford it. She will not hear reason, she will see treason.”

“I am more than aware.”, he agreed with a grim tone, even if he felt uncomfortable with that. “Ser Doric has been released because she threw Eyrine to the flames.”, he shook his head. “I feel guilty over that but if she would know it was Lyanna, she would not hesitate to end her. Father reacted even to this. Both lost their everything for a crime they did not commit. He would…”, he shook his head. “Lyanna Stark did something she shouldn’t have.”, he said with a troubled breath. “Father would make sure no one else did as well.”

“She has low regard for other people than her family. She would not think twice before throwing the Stark girl to the flames to save her brother.”, she raised her eyebrows briefly. “I cannot say I would not do the same for Oberyn but still, this was needed. That girl directly and indirectly ties four regions together. And Doric Hightower was never under true danger. Not when Lord Hightower is here. We essentially did not betray her, no?”, she looked guilty and Rhaegar held her hand.

“When she gets angry, she doesn’t see the damage she can cause.”, he tried to relieve them both. “A disaster got prevented and she’ll never know what happened. We are fine.”

*

Joust was going on perfectly well. Eveyrbody was in high spirits, cheerful, clapping and screaming. Even the king seemed to be on a good mood. The royal family was in the dais once more with the Lord Paramounts (ones that were not jousting), the small council members and Atera.

Arthur was jousting, so were Oswell and Barristan. Gerold, Jaime and Lewyn were in the dais as well, watching the games. Jaime was standing near Elia much to Cersei’s ire, the other two men were behind Aerys but they were speaking often. Elia was wearing a cornflower dress with a silver chain and a matching tiara, hair falling down to her back and the little queen was once again wearing a robe much to Atera’s displeasure.

Atera was sitting next to Elia, given both Rhaegar and Oberyn were jousting and Leyton would not escort her (not that she would ask). Atera herself was dressed in purple. Her gown was overly elegant, her jewels were shining under the sun and the silver embodiments on her gown were truly making her look healthy and not pale as usual. Her curly hair was shaped in a bun. Next to them, Cersei was looking like a peasant and Atera could tell that people were aware.

Under them, on the middle, there were the council members; only Jon was jousting. On the left, there were the Northern side of the Paramount Lords. Brandon Stark still was jousting, went far more than people expected, his siblings were sitting on the left side of the high dais, all three together but Brandon’s grey eyes was focused only on his sister from his tent, narrowed even, knowing she was hiding something but could not even guess what it was. Jon Arryn was sitting with his nephew, usually. But he got eliminated yesterday and Jon did not bother taking him to his side. And on the right side, Robert Baratheon was sulking, as he did so in the past days, ever since the melee. Mace Tyrell’s eyes did not, not even once, went to Atera’s face. He was denying her existence. All the Reacher Lords did the same and Atera was trying to surpress her guilt with carelessness.

There was no true way of Leyton disinheriting her.

After a few unimportant competitors, Oswell and Jon came face to face. But as a change, after raising their helmets (Jon took his off much to Oswell’s surprise) and bowing to the king, Jon moved his horse forward until he stood in front of the Reachermen.

“Lady Alysanne,”, he bowed his head deeply and silence covered the entire tourney area because nobody was expecting such a thing. “may I ask for your favour?”

Alysanne was as shocked as everyone else. Wearing a soft green gown that was off the shoulder, with a golden belt and her black hair was falling down to her back, a small rose shaped circlet was around her forehead. Her lips parted as if she wanted to say something but turned to look at her father instead. It would not be appropriate to do otherwise.

Leaning to his back in a black outfit and a gold chair, his fingers were caressing his lips in a thoughtful manner, narrowed eyes passed between Jon and his daughter and he inclied his head slightly to Alysanne to show his approval.

Sending an eyebrow in surprise but then erasing it immediately, Alysanne held her skirt and stood up elegantly. Reached for her own green ribboened favour over her brother who was sending threatening looks to Jon Connington, despite being more than aware of his preferences.

“I wish you good luck, my lord.”, she leaned from the wooden rails and offered it to the handsome Hand of the King. “I hope you would honour me with a victory.”

Jon sent a charming smile at her and Elia pressed her lips together in order not to laugh. “I have no idea how you think of such things.”, she leaned to her side and whispered to Atera without taking her olive eyes from the scene.

Jon was playing the ardent yet respectful suitor too well and she could hear a few ladies sighing, dreaming they were in Alysanne Hightower’s place.

“Me?”, a playful smile appeared on her lips but got erased when Leyton’s sharp eyes found hers at that moment as if he felt it. “I have nothing to do with this.”

Elia sent her a look and both had to bite inside of their cheeks to prevent from smiling.

“There is nothing more I want than crowning you in this life, my lady.”, Jon bowed his head respectfully and Alysanne sat back again in between her father and brother, her uncle was at the other side of Garth, sharing a look with Leyton with raised eyebrows.

“Father?”, Alysanne said with a quiet tone and a composed smile, eyes not even once leaving the silver armoured young lord. “Anything you want to say to me?”

“Your aunt pushing her luck.”, Leyton was sitting more comfortably than Alysanne, whose hands were tied together in her lap whereas Leyton’s legs were open and he was not sitting like a proper lord as he always did but looked more like a schoolboy, trying to piss of his parents. “Nothing more.”

“Hmm.”, she murmured and Garth narrowed his eyes even more.

“Don’t worry sister, he’ll lose to Ser Oswell for sure.”, Oswell was jousting ever since the tourney has started and no one managed to defeat him, knowing this, Alysanne sent him a look. “He is more than good, perhaps you shouldn’t have ive him your favour?”

“It is not why I am looking at you.”, she mused. “Ser Oswell is good but he is also so very tired. He is going to lose to him. And well, Lord Connington is far better than him anyways.”

“Ser Oswell won over Uncle Gerold, sister.”, Garth turned to her, both were sharing the same shiny green eyes and silk black hair of their uncle but still, both took their face shape from their father.

“Uncle Gerold was wounded from that horrible ambush from a few moons back, injured from the melee and distracted due to our uncle’s imprisonement.”, she responded in a knowing way and a smile appeared on Vortimer’s lips as Garth rolled his eyes. “He will lose and I still may end up as the Queen of Love and Beauty.”, she pursed her mouth in a clear insult to her family.

This was her one chance to get that stupid flower crown she wanted to so much her entire life. Being the fifth daughter of some lord was not easy. Baelor always crowned Alerie, her father always crowned Rhea (even remembering her caused Alysanne nausea), Garth crowned either Denyse or Leyla because they were older and their uncle Doric and every other Reacher Lord (except Mace who always crowned only Alerie) always crowned Atera. Her aunt had so many crowns that after some point, Alea started to make teas from them.

Alysanne wanted just one crown.

Even Malora and Lynesse (latter was younger than her and the former never had any interest in such things) had multiple.

Her father promised her one, given she was the only one of his daughters who attended to the tourney. Alerie was so very much pregnant, Malora did not even respond when Leyton asked if she would want to come (her situation was not getting better), Denyse was busy arranging the wedding, Leyla did not want to do anything with their father and knowing people still talked, Lynesse did not want to come.

By all lcuk, it should have been her crown.

Then her father got too busy to joust, her brother got injured in the melee and her uncle refused to even try her chance and even if her great uncle would crown her (she was not sure), he lost even before he reached to the semi-finals.

She would take that crown even from a sheep, let alone the Hand of the King, who was more than attractive.

And with her favour at his side; he won over Ser Oswell and later on Jason Mallister -eliminated two of the greatest opponents in the tourney. And then came a young Dornish knight, Paxter (that was a very funny fall that she couldn’t help but giggle and felt Jon’s eyes on her, smiling), and then he won over Daven Ashford and that was even funnier, just the look on Garth’s face.

“I should have bet.”, she said in a playful tone and a smile deep enough to show her dimples and Garth rolled her eyes as Vortimer tried to hide his laugh behind a cough and Leyton said nothing, just stayed there with a small smile that did not get erased, not when Rhaegar or Arthur appeared on the lists.

*

“My father definitely knows I am speaking with you.”, they were walking in the lunch break, sounds of the birds were accompanying them.

“I don’t care what your father knows or doesn’t know.”, Atera did not comment. “I asked to speak to forward a proposal to you.”, Alysanne stopped walking but Atera did not mind her. “The Hand of the King, Lord Jon Connington -and of course he will make the formal proposal to your father, pleads for your hand in marriage.”

“The Hand of the King wants to marry me?”, Alysanne blinked feverishly. “Why?”

Atera stopped walking and turned to her. “Because I wanted so.”

“Why?”, she pressed.

“You were always far more smarter than of your siblings, honey.”, her face softened as she approached back to her, raised her hand to caress her face. “You are so very beautiful and have a sharp mind. For true men; you are the perfect wife.”

“I have two unpromised older sisters.”, she said without blinking. “I cannot marry before them.”

“Malora does not wish for a marriage and Leyla is too eager to marry and leave your father’s side, both can be arranged.”

“I heard things.”, she continued with same seriousness. “About the Lord Hand.”, Atera raised her eyebrows.

“They are true.”, she was not going to sacrifice her own niece for politics. She wanted Alysanne to know everything before she made a decision. “He deos prefer the company of men over women, just like your brother Garth and he seeks for this marriage because his position is not secured and I had promised him that I’ll keep him alive.”, she straightened her spine. “I will give him a pretty Hightower pride with an enormous amount of gold as her dowry, unsixebla increase in his influence and prestige and a life-long guarantee that he’ll stay as the Hand of the King. And,”, she caressed her cheek again. “I told you that if you help me, you’ll get rewarded.”, she winked. “You did well with the Stark girl and now I will make you the third most important woman in the realm, marrying the most eligible man in the entire realm and having more power than all your siblings combined.”

“How will it work then?”, she frowned, not in a judgy way but Atera could see she truly was trying to understand. “He’ll expect children from me? True-born, I venture. How he’ll do that? Or will he allow me to have lovers in secrecy? Perhaps an arrangement similar to yours and Prince Oberyn’s?”

“Only Jon has the answer of these questions and in order to learn them, first your father at least should entertain the idea but he will not do so because he knows this is something I want.”, she sent her a look and Alysanne rolled her eyes.

“You want me to work for it.”

“Nothing comes for free, honey. If you want power in this world, you must take it.”

Being the wife of the Hand of the King was truly everything Alysanne has ever wanted. Not the act itself, no, but it was a key too all her dreams and she would need to be a fool to reject it. “Will he be nice?”, she did not care about love, amrriages scarcely were about it. “Some say he is rude.”

“He is like me.”, she pursed her lips. “Whatever you make from it.”, but her eyes softened once more and she held her hands with a smile. “You don’t have to do this Alysanne. I will stop the wedding in the middle of your vows if you ask me so. I am not going to let you suffer for him, for anyone. But he will be nice, I gave you my word. He is not a bad man and any man, despite their perefernces, shall be lucky to marry you because love and sex is not about marriage.”, she cupped her cheek as Alysanne smiled. “Think about it first and then if you are positive, make your father think about it. Spend some time with him if you want, before saying ‘yes’. Everything will be just like you want. But yes, I do support this marriage and want it to happen, if you’ll ask me.”

Sighing, she hugged to her aunt. “I will need some time to think. Marriage is a big and I must use my brain.”

“If you would use your heart though; what would it say?”

“Yes on the spot.”

*

“Father?”, Alysanne entered to the tent to find her father sitting with her uncle, brother, Paxter Redwyne and of course; with Mace. “Will we not have lunch?”, she pouted, they all looked overly serious.

“We will, my dear but please allow us for a while.”, Leyton’s serious face broke into a smile but Alysanne did not leave the tent.

“Fahter, I have spoken with my aunt.”, all of their eyes found her and Leyton closed off the book with a huff and threw himself to his chair, rubbed his forehead.

“Of course you did.”, he muttered. “Go on.”, he made a hand gesture when Alysanne took a deep breath.

“She said that the Hand of the King, Lord Jon Connington has made an official plea to ask for my hand in marriage.”, she was looking directly at her father.

“Marriage?”, Leyton raised his eyebrows too high that probably was going to cause him headache later. “Marriage? Why I don’t know a thing about it but your aunt does?”

“Apparently he wanted to know what I am thinking about the matter, before he approached to you with a formal proposal.”, she explained. “Of course in such a deliciate matter, it is not my place to make a decision. But,”, she looked at him. “I want you to know, father, whatever you decide, I accept it.”, she took a step forward. “But,”, she said once more. “if you ask me what I want,”, she tilted her head. “I want to marry him.”

“Of course you do.”, Leyton huffed with trouble once more. Headache started to it him right then, he probably would have to take a potion before the day ends. “Alysanne,”, he sighed. “I will think about it.”, it was the only answer he could give without breaking his daughter’s heart. “Now please, do leave us alone.”

But Alysanne did not.

“I do understand your worries about this match.”

Knowing she was not going to close the matter, Leyton rubbed his face once more and gave all his attention to his daughter. “And what worries I do have?”

“Everybody whispers the prince wants to dethrone his father.”, she shrugged as Mace’s alamed eyes immediately roamed around to check there were only them inside and Leyton shared a look with Vortimer. Of course she heard that. “I know there will be a war and my aunt made her side more than clear. And I know this is why you two have argued.”, this was not why they argued but Garth and Alysanne didn’t need to know that. “I know you don’t want to play any part in this but if I marry with him; you’ll be directly pulled into the war. You want to protect me and stay away from the conflict and this is why you will not consider the option and will rejet it outright.”

Leyton tapped his fingers on the oak desk. “People die in civil wars and first to do that will be Jon Connington, the moment the prince even does as so much as opposing the king a little harshly. Why would I marry my daughter with a dead man?”

“Because Atera put him there. And Atera will keep him there.”

“No, Atera has chose to sacrifice you to keep him there because I can do that, not her. She is using you for her own game.”

“Yes, I know that as well.”, when Garth seemed confused, she explained. “She was very transparent. She even told me that he had,”, she cleared her throat. “different interests than of women.”

“For Gods’ sake.”, Mace covered his face as Paxter groaned, Leyton and Vortimer shared another look and Garth averted his father.

“And you still want to marry him?”, Leyton narrowed his eyes, he had no idea how on earth Atera managed to brainwash him in the short path between the tourney grunds and the Reacher tents. It truly was remarkable. “A man that will not love you?”

“A man that will respect me and will make others do the same.”, she staigthened her spine. “I have four older sisters, father, in case you hadn’t noticed. This match goes beyond what you hoped for me.”

“Jon Connington is nothing.”, Leyton spat. “His house is nothing, his legacy is nothing. The only reason he seems like an eligible bachelor is because of that pin he carries and the king can take that pin at any given minute but-“

“But if he marries me, he will not.”, she condluded in his behalf. “There are only three reasons to get marry father, and I-“, all five men groaned this time, they had heard Atera saying these words a million times.

Not being able to take it any longer, Leyton stood up. “I have noted your wishes and thoughts, my love, but this is, as you said, is a delicate matter and I shall think more about it. In the mean time; go and tell your aunt the next time she tries to use my children for her own political gain, I will hurt her badly.”, he closed his eyes, regrtting the words immediately. “Tell her to have some decorum at least.”, he corrected himself. “There are far more important things than of power. Doing the right thing comes above all that. We all have sworn loyalty to Aerys, whether we like it or not. Siding the prince will be an act of treason and I will take no parts in it.”

“Doing the right thing…”, Alysanne nodded. “Because you always do the right thing, yes, father? You never make mistakes?”, Leyton frowned in confusion. “Is this mean you are going to marry Alea?”, silence came after was defeaning. “I know about you two, everybody knows about you two. She is your mistress.”, she shrugged. “Will you do the right thing and marry her or will you choose power over the right thing and keep her as your mistress? Because as the Lord of Oldtown, it is not acceptable for you to marry with the granddaughter of some deceased landed knight. What will you do?”

“Alys…”, Garth tried to stand up and went to her side but his leg still was hurting. He shouldn’t even be here, or at the joust but he insisted too much and Leyton couldn’t reject him.

“Because if you will choose the latter and refuse to marry her; you should at least find her a suitable match because you have tarnished her reputation -unless if you don’t have any decorum, then you can just banish her to the Arbor.”, she narrowed her eyes. “Oh wait, this is exactly what you have done.”

Mace and Paxter were not daring to raise their heads, Vortimer looked truly frustrated but also torn between and Garth decided to throw himself to the floor and act like he was dying if things would go worse from here.

“Go to your tent.”, Leyton, who had a deadly look in his face -not towards his daughter, no, more to himself, leaned forward in the desk. “And do not come out until I say otherwise.”, his voice was quiet and poisonous. “Your aunt,”, he said sharply to both her and Garth. “is not a part of this family, not anymore. You will not see her or contact with her without my information. Now go. I will continue to think on this matter.”

Alysanne took a shaky breath and turned her back but then closed her eyes and turned back to Leyton. “You have changed, father and if no one else will sya this; I will.”, her voice was louder and while she obviously hesitated and was trying to hold herself back from crying, she still looked at Leyton with bravery. “What Rhea has done to you was not our fault.”, she spat, Vortimer bowed his head as well and Garth truly condiered throwing himself. “It was yours.”, she was looking directly into Leyton’s eyes. “We are you family, not your enemy.”, she pressed the words. “And what we deserve is an apology for all we have been though because of your msitakes, not getting shut down over mistakes.”

“Alysanne Hightower-“, Vortimer tried to interrupt her but she did not let him.

“She is my aunt.”, she declared even further. “And if it is this easy for you to cast her away and do so for me as well.”, this was a great ultimatum that could fail in any given moment. “As long as you make peace, I will not speak to you as well.”

“Go,”, Leyton closed his eyes. “to your tent and do not leave it there until I say otherwise.”, he ordered with an anger he tried to surpress and Alysanne pouted deeply, then turned her back and rushed to her own tent to cry.

“Uncle, can you help me?”, Garth tried to stood up a moment later. “I would do so myself but my leg hurts.”

“Where are you going, sit?”, Vortimer tried to stop him but Garth sent a cold look to his father.

“I will go after my sister.”, he almost dared. “I don’t think she is right but she is my sister.”, he pressed. “It is my duty to support her even in her mistakes.”, Vortimer sighed and Paxter stood up to help Garth. “Because this is why my father has taught me.”, Leyton turned his back. “Even though he seems to forget it.”

“Garth-“

“I side with Alys.”, he declared when he finally managed to stand up with Paxter’s help. “Forget us as well, father, alongside Atera.”

*

“Lord Connington.”, Leyton stood up even thought he didn’t want to when the ginger man entered. “I gather you have far more urgent things to do but thank you, for making time for this topic.”

“Lord Hightower.”, he bent his head a little as a sign of respect and sat down across the powerful lord. “Prince Rhaegar and Princess Elia wanted to handle the matter themselves. And I am more than glad that you have wanted to speak.”, when Leyton looked at him without saying something, he understood he expected Jon to start first. “I know it was wrong of me to speak with Lady Atera first. Given Lady Alysanne is your daughter. But-“

“But you are my sister’s new playmate and plotting with her seemed more exciting than to follow the rules, I know.”, he was watching his every move. “She has this effect on people.”

Jon cleared his throat. “I want to ask, if she is content with it of course, Lady Alysanne’s hand in marriage, my lord.”, Leyton just waited. “I will demand no dowries and the wedding will happen as she wishes. I swear on my honour that I will, not even a single time, will brought harm or sadness on your daughter. I will respect and chersih her. This marriage will not be a cage for her, I do promise.”

“But you will not love her. Am I understanding it right?”, Jon’s eyes grew colder as he caught Leyton’s meaning. “Do not get defensive.”, Leyton sighed. “Who am I to judge your preferences when I have a son who also enjoys the company of other sex.”, Jon blinked a few times to be sure he heard it right. “Garth.”, Leyton explained. It was easier to pretend he didn’t know about that but hwanted this conversation to be understood by the man in front of him. “Alysanne also is aware of your preferences and I can tell as her father that she wouldn’t give a shit if you would prefer flying monkeys over women. She is over the moon,”, he huffed. “even by the idea of marrying you.”

“My lord?”

“You see I have made a terrible mistake.”, he shok his head. “And taught my daughters how to think.”, it was a running joke in the Reach that Leyton found highly amusing. More than half of those lords were uncultered shits, of course they got nerved by the intelligence of his daughters. “Atera seems to get into her head perfectly well. The last I checked, she’s been repeating there were three reasons to get marry but I doubt she understand their meanings, given those three reasons are power, alliance and children.”, Jon did not averted his eyes. “You can give no children to my daughter. House Connington is nothing next to mine so such an alliance is more than pointless and your only power comes from Aerys’ stability -which we all know comes and goes in these days. You need this marriage to happen, I do not. Tell me now; why shall I accept it then?”

“I will give children to your daughter.”, Jon said stoically. He needed children, he needed heirs, he didn’t want his cousin to inherit his lands. Not matter how hard it would be for him, he would find a way. “As many as she wants.”, he added. Alysanne Hightower was going to secure his life and position, he could grit his teeth and endure her wishes. “Yes, my house is indeed below yours but so is House Rowan.”, Jon sent him a look. “Yet you let your heir to marry into that house. House Oakheart is also below your house, yet if I recall it right; Lady Arwyn has married into that house. Lady Alysanne’s mother was Lady Meredyth Crane, again a house far below yours. Atera’s own mother was a Westerling; below your family. Mine, when compared to those houses, seems almost the most prestiogous one. And for a fifth daughter; it is more than suitable, even if that daughter carried the name Targaryen. And for power?”, Jon tilted his head. “I am the Hand of the King at the moment. And I will keep being the Hand of the King even after Prince Rhaegar replaces his father. I am the best match your daughter can find and you know it better than I.”

“You will use my daughter to protect your life when you commit treason against your king.”

Jon looked at him. “Yes.”, Leyton Hightower was a clever man and this was the truth. Denying it would be an insult to both. “I need to stay alive in order to keep holding this realm in one piece when Rhaegar goes against the king. And in order for me to stay alive; I must choose a wife according to it. Atera suggested your daughter because she knows otherwise you would never support Rhaegar.”, he srugged. “She thinks the Reacher Lords fear Ser Gerold too much to actively choose a side but now this marriage will force you to support Rhaegar. And of course Lady Tyrell will want to protect his sister and with Lord Tyrell and you; the rest of the Reach will follow and Rhaegar will all but win the war before it even begun.”

“I have no idea who she takes her antics from.”, Leyton brieftly raised her eyebrows and sighed. “She still is my sister at the end of the day though, so allow me to ask you this question; were you aware of it?”

He didn’t need to say it open, Jon knew what he meant. “I learnt a few days ago, at the feast of Ser Jaime’s acceptance to the kingsguard, given I was not in Dragonstone prior to that. I have spoken to both, adviced them to end it but Arthur claimed and still does, to be in love with her deeply.”, he huffed and Leyton raised his eyebrows. “Rhaegar thinks it is some sort of a coping mechanism and that he wants to love her.”

“And why do you think Atera is so stubborn over this matter?”

“Your sister likes to do things she shouldn’t but she is more than clever at the same time. It is why I work with her, it is why Rhaegar doesn’t just sends her away. She is more useful on our side.”

Leyton narrowed his eyes at him and then made a head gesture. “I wouldn’t want to busy you further, Lord Connington. You have political scandls to fix and I have thoughts to think.”, he stood up. “I will let you know of my answer.”

“I just hope you will think it with logic, my lord.”, Jon said even thought perhaps he shouldn’t. “For the good of the realm.”

“My daughter is far more important than the good of the realm.”, Leyton commented and Jon smiled.

“Of course.”, and left the tent, Leyton sat back again.

“What do you think?”, Vortimer appeared behind the curtain.

“Jon Connington can be a great asset for us, my friend.”, he poured himself a glass of wine. “He is young, obviously has a brain inside his head, honourbale since he is friends with the prince and does not bother himself with unnecessary emotions. Does his duty. If their plans work and Rhaegar takes the throne, then he will become even far more important. The new queen will be Dornish, it is only fitting for the second most powerful woman in the realm to be a Reacher, to keep the balance.”, he sat down. “And Alysanne is thrilled.”

“Dethroning Aerys is easy.”, Leyton rolled his eyes. “The problem will come after that. Will the nobles accept Rhaegar?”

“In order to do that, he will need powerful allies and Jon Connington will sit on that table with your might behind him. With the Reach and the Dorne united with the Stormlands; what choice will have, the other kingdoms?”, he tilted his head. “And Rhaegar dethroning his father might even open a new era for the rest of the Westeros where the corruption truly might end.”

“What is your advice then? She is your niece. What would Meredyth want?”

“We must be careful.”, it was obvious. “Let us do the betrothal.”, he suggested. “But wait until the wedding. Make it happen only after Rhaegar becomes king, when the war ends. Because there is no way of guessing what will happen once this tourney ends. Rhaegar might succeed but Rhaegar might as well fall. If the former happens, your daughter will become the wife of the Hand of the King, will have more influence than Alerie, but if the latter happens then well,”, he shrugged. “no one will remember a silly betrothal anyways.”

“I like your mind, brother.”, Leyton smiled. “But only it serves to me.”, Vortimer grinned. “It seems Atera has took you on her side as well.”

“What can I say?”, raised his cup. “She can be so very convincing when she wants to.”

*

282 AC, King's Landing

“What will you do with Elia?”, Lewyn entered his chamber that night, just hearing of what had happened, barely calmed down by Barristan while Gerold just sat there with a dark face. “You know she is not well. There is a high chance she cannot handle the journey.”, he was more than angry, more than worried. “Why torture her?”

“I did not believe Rhaegar’s hunting lie from the moment I had heard it.”, Jon explained with a sad face. “I was suspecting he was after something but I thought it was about-“, he closed his eyes, and did not say it out loud but Lewyn did understand what he meant. “I never thought this could be the reason.”

“You believe it then.”, Lewyn frowned. He did not.

“I don’t know what to believe.”, he rubbed his face. “I know that he is lying and I know whatever he is hiding, Elia knows it, alongside Arthur and Oswell and I can get my hands only on her. If I do not summon her now, the king will do so later, once he realizes Rhaegar has disappeared and trust me, when he summons her, it will not be pretty, Ser Lewyn. You know it as much as I do.”

“None of this will end in pretty fashion. I don’t see why it has to be my niece who has to pay the price.”, the Dornishman’s face crossed in anger.

“Write to Prince Doran.”, Jon suggested. “I don’t see him welcoming well any of my letters but he must be aware of something is happening. He must be …prepared.”, Lewyn’s face darkened even more. “Perhaps Prince Oberyn must stay well away from the capital or well,”, he tilted his head. “perhaps he shall arrive here the next day. I don’t know what the future will bring but I don’t feel good about any of this. And any day that goes without Rhaegar’s presence here, Elia’s at risk as well.”

“The king will take his anger out of her.”, it was something they all knew. “And you still want her here?”

“The other scenario is her going to Dorne, to a place where she would be safe and sound, only for one day to wake up with the king’s soldiers at her door. Or worse, she will be sentenced to a fate without her children. Is this what you want?”

“I want nothing more than her protection, she is my only niece. And it is not that easy, to threaten a Princess of Dorne. We do not bow to the king like the rest.”

“And yet you are tied to the king more than we all do.”, Jon shook his head. “I swear on my honour that I will do anything in my power to protect her and her children as long as I am alive,”, both knew he was in more danger than her. “and I can only do so if she is near me.”, he pressed. “She is not coming here to be accused, she is coming here so I can clear her name and send her right back to Dragonstone, where she truly will be safe and away from everything, with her children.”

“Aegon must be anointed and officially recognized as Rhaegar’s heir.”, Lewyn offered a silent bargain. “This would secure Elia more than anything.”, not even the king would dare to harm the mother of the heir, or so they hoped he wouldn’t go that far.

“And I must marry Alysanne Hightower.”, Jon offered his own terms, only he could help Lewyn and under these circumstances (with Gerold hating anyone who knew about Atera and Arthur) only Lewyn could help him. “She will give me the power to protect my life and I will devote it to protect Elia’s. But Lord Hightower would never allow so, not after everything went down at Harrenhal.”, he turned his head away. “I have written letters to Atera, she did not reply to even one of them.”

“Gerold refuses to speak of them.”, Lewyn seemed troubled as well. “I would like Elia to have such friends, rather than Ashara Dayne.”, who insulted her at every chance, forgot her place all the time and brought nothing but scandals to her.

At least Atera knew how to keep things quiet.

“I will send ravens to the Lords and will guise Elia’s arrival here for the anointing of Prince Aegon.”

“They will ask for Rhaegar.”, Lewyn reminded.

“I can find two solutions at a time.”, he rubbed his face once more. “Elia will come here, I will question her and her household, know what the hell Rhaegar has done and in the meantime, the lords will arrive here to swear fealty for Prince Aegon. I will try to bring Rhaegar here if I can but if I cannot, we will excuse Braavos who is on the verge of a civil war.”, it was not a good plan but still was a plan. “He went there to assure the peace treaties?”

“Would work, if we have no other solution.”, Lewyn sounded tired. “Rhaegar’s absence would fuel the rumours on the children’s parentage of course but I was told that the boy looks exactly right Rhaegar and what matters most is for lords to swear fealty. You think you can convince Aerys of that?”

“I will do anything to secure that.”, he pressed the word, and Lewyn narrowed his eyes slightly.

The heirs Aerys already had were doing nothing but creating problems. Rhaegar was a threat of his own and Viserys’ hatred for Cersei was making it hard for Aerys to control him. But Aegon was a baby. Jon was implying he would give his custody to Aerys if it was what would it take for Aerys to recognize him as his heir and while neither enjoyed this option -which was clear on their faces, they would go along with it and make another plan later on if it ever would become necessary.

“And Leyton himself will arrive here. I will speak to him, I will convince this marriage will be in everyone’s best interest. And when Rhaegar returns,”, Lewyn promised. “I will get to punch him first.”

“You might have to get in line.”, Jon’s face darkened in a way that startled Lewyn. “If any of the things that I am suspecting are true, no one will be able to protect Rhaegar from me.”

*

“We can do this in the hard way or in the easy way, Myles.”, Jon welcomed the boy in a very calm way. “I know that you know something.”

“Prince Rhaegar didn’t tell anyone that he was-“

Jon raised his hand to stop him. “I know that already.”, Rhaegar obviously did something even if it was not abducting a child, Jon would burn down the world to find out what it was and if the only thing he could get were just a few pieces of information, he was fine with it. It was better than nothing. “Move to the interesting parts.”, Myles did not answer. “You have been serving to Rhaegar for how many years now?”, he frowned. “More than five, no?”, Myles nodded. “It means I have known you for more than five years and I know that you have been Rhaegar’s eyes and ears, hear everything, see everything, tell your master what is happening at the court.”

“You also know that I stopped doing that a long time ago.”, Rhaegar became more and more introverted with every passing day, and lost interest in the outside world.

“I also know that just because Rhaegar stopped listening, it does not mean you stopped doing so.”, he clenched his jaw.

“Why don’t you go and speak with Princess Elia?”, he asked sadly. “She is not well.”

“Who cares about her state of health?”, Jon frowned. “The best thing she can do at the moment is to die.”, Myles closed his eyes with a tired demeanour, he was sick of Jon’s unreasonable hatred of the kind princess. “What I am concerned about is Rhaegar, not Elia. And of course, he did not give the details of his …whatever the fuck he had done, to his wife.”, Myles just looked at him and Jon rubbed his face with realization. “Of course, he informed his wife before he got involved with another woman.”, he looked at Myles. “Letter?”, he guessed.

“Princess Elia had burnt it but when we woke up with her screams that morning, I had seen her ripping it apart. Surely she knows something.”, Jon nodded.

“Any idea what was written in it?”

“She was not surprised when the royal summon mentioned Lyanna Stark.”, Myles tried to recall. “She didn’t talk with anyone, not really.”

“Summon Ashara then. Surely she knows-“

“Ashara is not here.”, Myles interrupted him with widened eyes, didn’t he know that as well? Jon seemed taken aback.

“She left at Dragonstone? Don’t tell me she left the kids with her.”

“No, Ashara left Drgaonstone moons ago.”, Myles swallowed and took a step back without realizing and Jon scowled.

“What?”, his voice raised and it was more than snappish. Myles wished that Richard had already informed him of this, surely Jon would not have harmed him but Myles was a different story.

“Princess Elia sent her back to Starfall and told us not to tell it to anyone, to protect her.”

“Why does Ashara need such secrecy as a form of protection?”, Jon took a step forward, demanding an answer but he felt like already knew it and Myles averted his eyes.

“She was pregnant. She could not serve Elia under those circumstances.”

Jon raised his eyebrows as high as he could. “Pregnant?”, he clenched his jaw so hard that Myles heard the noise of it. “Starfall? Moons ago?”

“Arthur brought her there himself.”, Myles’ voice sounded so small. “She refused to marry the father so Elia sent her away, and ordered her to return after gave birth. She is halfway through it.”, Jon first sharply rubbed his face, enough to make it redden and then ran his hands through his hair, Myles’ brain worked frantically to give him something else before he snapped harshly. “Rhaegar was writing to Lyanna Stark.”, that seemed like stopping Jon’s harsh movements and the Hand of the King turned to him in slow motion with a deadly face and a deadlier look in his eyes. He started to approach to him slowly and with every step he took forward, Myles took one back. “I don’t know what was written in the letters, or how many of them they have exchanged.”, he swallowed. “I heard Elia saying so to Ashara before she left. She was so hurt and angry about it. She said that Rhaegar apologized on her behalf. I do know at least two letters were sent to Winterfell after that, and I had caught a glimpse of her letter once. He wrote to her and she wrote to him back, whatever this was,”, his back touched the wall and Jon was standing so close. “he did not abduct her but probably planned to run away together.”, he whispered the last words.

“Why?”, Jon demanded with a whisper as well, his hand wrapped around Myles’ neck but did not hurt the boy, raised his head instead. “Why would he run away with a girl who is betrothed to marry his cousin after he suffered greatly because of her just a mere moons ago?”, Myles swallowed but couldn’t stop looking at Jon’s eyes, and saw his own death in them. “Love?”, Jon did not even whisper, just moved his lips and Myles tried to shake his head.

“He was not fine.”, he managed to whisper. “Ever since we returned from Harrenhal, he was not fine. He barely dealt with state matters, he did not speak of any Great Council or anything about the coup. He barely spoke at all.”, tears started to form in his eyes. “He was weird.”

“Weird?”, Jon moved his lips once more.

“More than depressed, more than melancholic.”, Myles’ lips trembled as he tried to find the right words. “He acted like he lost connection with the world. As if he went-“

“Mad.”, Jon whispered and closed his eyes, then abruptly let go of Myles and turned his back immediately, tying his hands behind his back. “Anything else you want to say?”

“Arthur hasn’t spoken to him for moons. Just reconciled before the birth.”, he rubbed his neck even though Jon did nothing but hold it without pressure. “He was sure that the birth would go without a fuss. He was shocked to hear about Elia’s health. He slept on the couch at her bedside until she woke up.”, he shook his head. “He claimed that he got something wrong and that it was not him but Prince Aegon.”, his frown deepened. “I am not sure if I got it right, my lord but I believe he meant that prophecy again.”, Jon turned back to him sharply. “Whatever it is,”, Myles never got the full picture. “he doesn’t think it is about him anymore but Prince Aegon.”

“What changed his mind?”, Jon asked dryly.

“We had seen a comet on the day he was born.”, Jon closed his eyes, of course. “And he said something about the three heads of the dragon.”

“It is the sigil of House Targaryen.”

Myles nodded tiredly. “I know but it was not what he meant. He spoke as if it was not a mere sigil but as if they were …alive.”, he frowned in confusion and tried to explain but couldn’t. “As if they had flesh and bone.”

Jon understood nothing. “Summerhall?”, he questioned. “Richard told me Rhaegar sent men there before Harrenhal. Anything you know?”

“To protect something.”, it was all he knew. “He sent his best men and had an argument with Princess Elia about that. He even visited there himself before the tourney and got attacked my lord, you know it. Afterwards, he sent ten men back there and I just know he is trying to protect something.”

“Does Elia know that as well?”

“I believe it is about Lady Atera because there were two Hightower soldiers who went there, my lord.”, saying her name hurt. Myles had a feeling if Atera had been at Dragonstone, she would have done something about all this. If she had been there, she would make Arthur and Rhaegar make peace so the prince would not lose his mind. “The only thing Princess Elia did in the past weeks, ever since Prince Rhaegar left, was to write to her but she did not write back. There is nothing I know my lord.”

“I am sending Richard back to Skull Island.”, Jon said after observing him and Myles’ heart started to beat so fast that the boy’s vision got blurred for a moment.

“No!”, he objected. “If you send him there, his uncle will kill him!”, Jon knew it better than all.

“He might think this as a punishment but it is not.”, Jon tried to suppress his own worry and fear -and heartbreak as he saw the agony in Myles’ eyes. He was not a heartless man, he knew it was the indication of love. It seemed like two squires of Rhaegar found each other as he snatched himself a Northern wolf. “Brandon Stark came here with an important entourage and declared Rhaegar abducted his sister, Rickard Stark is on his way here with his bannermen -two hundred people, I am told. Robert, today or tomorrow, will hear of everything and I need someone to control him, someone to inform us about his movements. Robert took a liking to him, they even had a drinking match at Harrenhal and Richard won, which means also has a place of honour in his eyes.”

“Lord Baratheon would look at him and see Prince Rhaegar’s squire.”, Myles protested.

“It is why he will tell everything you just told me to Robert, act as a spy. He will never accept this for he hates Robert and Stormlands and everything it represents, convince him.”, he ordered and Myles blinked multiple times as if he was trying to make sure he didn’t hear him wrong.

“I cannot-“

“I have eyes and a brain that is working unlike you two.”, Jon interrupted him harshly. “I do see you are having an affair. He’d listen to you, he is rather easy to convince, go and do so.”

Myles straightened his spine. “If he is that easy to convince because we share a bed, why don’t you do it yourself?”, even if Jon was surprised by his comment, he didn’t show it. “I do know, he told me.”, Jon did not react at all. “If I convince him and he gets hurt, I will never forgive myself.”

“Good.”, Jon said perhaps with more cruelty than it was needed. “And it will be your punishment for not alarming me beforehand when I could prevent all this from happening.”

“Jon-“

He raised his hand once more. “Leave, Mooton. I have to figure out this chapter of whatever the fuck Rhaegar is up to this time and fix it before the king unleashes his madness on the Starks and on Elia. I have no time to spend on two unimportant squires.”, he dismissed the boy and then moved to his desk with fallen shoulders and basically threw himself into it.

It hurt too much to know that he loved two men in this life and both chose anyone but him.

“My lord.”, Ser Jonothor entered a few minutes later and Jon erased the look of maceration from his face too quickly and looked to the kingsguard without emotions.

“Something happened?”

“You have a letter, I thought you might want to read it.”, he offered it to the Hand and Jon frowned as he reached for it. “It came from the Lady Alysanne Hightower.”, Jon’s eyes snapped to him in a shock that he couldn’t hide and despite all, despite his own character, Jonothor sent him a small smile. “The rider who brought it here said multiple times that she expects an answer and she expects it soon, my lord.”, he sent him a small nod and left Jon alone with his confusion and thoughts.

*

“Did you know about any of these?”, Leyton asked, finally accepting Jon’s request to have a conversation right before he left. “What Prince Rhaegar has done? What the king has done?”

“Last I communicated with the prince was at Harrenhal, my lord.”, he answered with honesty. “All we knew about his actions concerned him being at Summerhall, alongside Ser Arthur and Ser Oswell, hunting.”, he clenched his jaw. “And the king promised to spare the lives of the Starks if only they bend the knee to Prince Aegon. Princess Elia spoke to them personally. I was told of them being …executed,”, he didn’t want to use any other word. “right before the ceremony. I could not stop it.”

“No, you could not.”, he shook his head. Just like the rest of the realm, their screams were still echoing in his head. “Ser Lewyn approached me the other day, with my uncle, and repeated your request to marry my daughter. Went on and on about how prestigious and necessary this match was. I believe this is what you wish to talk about.”

Jon sighed. “I know it a selfish thing to propose.”, Leyton did raise his eyebrows pensively. “A Lord Paramount and his heir died just days ago by the king’s wrath and now I am asking for you to send your daughter into this hellhole, only to save my own skin.”

“Ever since we met, this is the first time you make reason.”, he mumbled. There was a frown on his face ever since that day as if the joy was taken out of him.

“I do understand, as a father, your daughter is more than important for you and it does cloud your judgement. We are heading to a war, my lord.”, Leyton nodded. “After everything that has happened, they have the moral high ground and the royal army has no figureheads for we still do not know where the fuck,”, he cursed dearly. “Rhaegar is and I have no hope for his return. Letting the king deal with them would be admitting defeat and there is no one else in the council who can fix things the way I can. Varys is a cold-hearted traitor, Chelsted has no brain, Staunton is afraid of his own shadow, and Pycelle works for Tywin Lannister. I do respect Ser Gerold’s talents but he is old and is not the same after Harrenhal.”, older lord’s face darkened. “And while Lord Velaryon seems like he turned back to his roots, he has been sick deeply in the recent moons. Just because he healed once more does not mean he will not get sick again. I am the only person who can control the council members, control the king’s actions from now on. I am the only one who can command the royal army without a hidden agenda. Nobles may not like me but they respect me. And smallfolk would support me for they know I am Rhaegar’s friend. I have connections, I can stop Robert in Stormlands if he ever dares to start something. I am the only life guarantee Elia and her children have.”, Leyton stopped walking. “The entire fate of the rebellion is up to me and you know it better than all. You also know this brings me more enemies than I can fight alone. I have no life security when the king himself is against me.”, he turned to Leyton, they were looking at each other now. “I will not abandon the ship to the leeches now. I will have this fight whether you back me up or not but if you want this problem to be solved quickly, you will need me alive and the way to keep me alive goes through a powerful wife. Name a better candidate than your daughter.”

He was right, Leyton was aware of that. Ironically the entire fate of the realm, not only the possible upcoming war, was up to this young man in front of him and even though Leyton tried to think of other ways to protect his life, a marriage was the cleanest way.

“Would an official betrothal work in your favour?”, Leyton recalled Vortimer’s words from Harrenhal. “I surely will have to speak to my daughter first, though she was rather eager for this marriage when I left Oldtown. We would announce a betrothal, it is as good as a wedding itself, especially now. And if you go as far as to win the war, you can have her.”, Jon knew he couldn’t get better than that so he nodded.

“How is she?”, he asked when they started to walk once more. “Your sister?”, Leyton clenched his jaw so tight that even Jon felt it. “I have written to her, a few times. She did not answer.”

“She is not in a state of health nor mind to read or answer any sort of letters.”, he spoke sharply and Jon knew better than pressure it. “You are wearing a shirt made of flames, Lord Connington.”, he huffed to the disgusting irony, Jon almost shivered. “A shirt that will burn you in your first mistake, big or small. The king’s court has always been a den of dragons but now it evolved into something more dangerous. You’ll perish if you lose your quiescence, your patience, your sanity.”, he advised. “Do not take any impulsive decision, heed to the voices of others, voice of your heart.”

“My lord,”, Jon frowned. “your advices are more valuable than gold for me but why are you saying this?”

“It may surprise you but I do want to see you as my son-in-law.”, he said with a deep breath. “You are a good man, Connington. Smart and good, talented. You have a bright future in front of you and well, if I invest in you today, I will gather the fruits tomorrow. For that, I need you to remain alive, so listen to my words carefully.”, he continued to give advice. “State matters cannot endure mistakes. Even if the king’s state would be different, or times would be different, you still would pay for them with your life, it is what it is.”, they stopped once more when they spotted the horses and Leyton’s entourage waiting for him. “This is a dangerous road and any who wants power must walk it alone. It is you against the world now and I know men like you, I know you will want to go to the very end, and I know you will not want to be a quitter but you must know when to stop, where to stop.”, he placed a hand on his shoulder for all to see his support. “One man cannot make much difference after some point so do not wait for power to give up on you. The moment you feel there is no way to make a move, do not hesitate, give up on it, retreat, so you can continue to fight another day. You don’t have to save everyone.”, Jon turned his head away with the last line, it was more than obvious Leyton tried to comfort him over the deaths of the Starks. “You cannot,”, he pressed. “save everyone.”

Jon only nodded solemnly. “Have a safe journey back, my lord. I will be waiting for your final answer.”

*

“You think she lost her mind as well?”, Richard asked as Jon was busy with reading multiple reports at once, trying to locate where Rhaegar is, trying to find a solution. “Elia?”

“I think she is deeply wounded by what Rhaegar has done and is fearing more than she should. The children will be fine, they are protected by Aerys himself, and no one can harm them. And she will be fine as well, as long as I am in this office.”

“Has Lord Hightower sent any word?”, Jon, still reading papers, pulled a small letter and gave it to Richard. “Only announcing a betrothal?”, he frowned. “You think this will be enough?”

“This is all I can get.”, he said pensively. “It is enough for now.”

“You still will send me to Skull Island?”, Rickard asked with nervousness. “I alarmed you of Elia’s plans, told you where to find her. Will you still send me there?”

“What you have done was not a betrayal but your duty, so spare me the emotions.”, he ended the letter and leaned back, blue eyes observing his brunette friend. “Robert Baratheon is either inside of a coffin and on his way here or he is in the Vale still, and a war is on its way here. Either way, it is too late for you to control his temper tantrums. You’ll stay here. I already sent Myles to Elia, he’ll report everything she does to me and you will help me keep the council members in line. This is not a fight one might win alone.”

“This is the first time I have heard you admit defeat before it has already begun and ask for allies.”

“You all take it lightly.”, he declared. “Elia is driven by fear, the king is in a weird shape, the council members, the nobles -none of you knows Robert the way I do.”, he pointed out. “None of you take this seriously. I am aware of what sort of an enemy we are dealing with, I am aware of the urgency of the situation. I cannot do thousands of things at once. I need Elia to wake up to the reality and accept what is happening. I need her to act sane for her own safety, I need her to cooperate to ensure her survival. I need Myles to help her, I need you to control the court. I will speak to Ser Gerold once more. If a war would start-“

“My lord.”, Ser Jonothor entered with an empty face.

“I didn’t say you can enter Ser Jonothor.”, Jon frowned, he was not stupid enough to trust any of the kingsguard given all their ranks were messed with now.

“Troubling news from the Vale of the Arryn has reached, my lord.”, the blonde man spoke with silent anger. “The war you’ve been worrying about, it is here.”, Jon stood up abruptly and Richard felt his own eyes widening as Ser Jonothor gave the letter to Jon. “Jon Arryn refused to obey the orders. Both Eddard Stark and Robert Baratheon have left the Eyrie, they are gathering men and Gulltown, who remained loyal to us, has been sacked. Lord Grafton is dead, they are following a brutal campaign. Anyone who isn’t their friend is an enemy.”

“Urgent meeting.”, Jon whispered as he finished reading, he told Rhaegar this was going to happen and it only needed a reason years ago. “Call for an urgent meeting, now!”

*

282 AC, Oldtown

Sighing, she left the window side where she watched her youngest brothers spar on the outside and moved back to her small desk to finish the letter she was writing. She has always been a person who knew what she wanted, and more than most of the time; she got what she wanted. She was not going to let a war prevent it for the first time and Leyton’s absence gave her the perfect opportunity to reach out to the man she wanted to marry.

“My dear lord, the smile on my face and the thoughts in my mind,

Promises that did not come true have been breaking my heart with the pain of being absent from your side. My days are turning into nights, my nights are covered in nothing else but darkness and grief and I am dearly trying to hold on to the small glimmer of hope that perhaps we might still find each other in another life.

Gods knows, just as my father who is deaf to my heart’s wishes, that I would depart a battlefield just to see your eyes shining under the moonlight once more, be blessed with your presence and hear the harmonies in your voice. It shall be my dying wish if we would not be together in this lifetime.

I want auroras and rose gardens, birds singing in love, nightingales cheering above a gold sept, your lips shall be the cure of the worst of this world and if my words did not sugarcoat you into hasten your hand and work harder for this marriage to happen, I do not know what else would. A betrothal is not a marriage, a betrothal is not enough. You need to keep trying harder.

You have asked, in your previous letters, when you shall expect my aunt to write back to you and finally, I believe I can give you an answer; never. It breaks my heart truly to notify you of this but Harrenhal has broken her to a degree none of us even knew was possible. She had given up on life itself, or so she seemed. While my father was here, we were spared from the worst of it but he still is away, in Highgarden, most of the Reacher Lords are there. It seems you might have failed to pursue me rightly, but your work will not return back to you without its fruits. If I know one thing; the Reach will not yield back to the unlawful tyranny of the rebels and will side with the crown, no matter the cost. They are merely reluctant, waiting for a blow to start it all and given all the whispers I had heard among the hallways, the war is far closer to us than I had previously thought.

Atera, on the other hand, as I said, we have seen how terrible the situation is, and now my father is going to control it. I have witnessed even Baelor worrying deeply about her wellbeing and you do know their infamous quarrels with one another. The entirerity of Oldtown is pitying her and she cannot even find it in herself to fight back. She hasn’t spoken, not even a single word, since she came here. Alerie did her best but you do know soon after she gave birth to a baby boy, Loras, and I am glad to inform you that once again, she is with child. I never understood this inability to put a few years of age gap between children but if you ever succeed in guaranteeing my hand, do not be surprised that I will not turn out to be a baby machine like my sister. I dread spending half of my life growing another human being inside me, if, which I pray for it every night, I ever would become your lady wife, my lord, prepared to be content with perhaps an only child, just as yourself. Gods knows I had enough of crowded families.

You might notice how cleverly I have distracted you from giving the true nature of Atera’s health and it only dawned on me that you might notice it so I am forcing myself to be honest; no one is suggesting out loud for they fear my father’s wrath but I can feel the movements, perhaps even a preparation for a funeral for she does not eat nor drink. She is far away from her old glamour as if she just took a vow of silence. Alea does her best (mind you that I could distract the situation here by noting how terrible it is to endure her silent war with my father but I shall not do and I expect the same courtesy from you when you write me back, informing me thoroughly about the war since you are the only one who respects me enough to do so) but her best is not enough. I doubt anything will ever be enough.

I personally think that she is far away from being dead or defeated. I know, in my heart, that she will rise back from her ashes and will not let this minor inconvenience -because let us be honest, she went through worse and I truly cannot understand what was so personal this time for her to become like this, to break her down. I know my aunt, I know that she is silently seething, watching, listening, waiting, waiting for a star to fall, for a fire to start, for oceans to rise and for war to properly break out.

Father forbade us all to even make the talk of it near her but I disagree, though do not have the courage to insist -just another thing that we are both alike it seems. What she needs is chaos, what she needs is a fucker with a problem and I believe, my love, you are the perfect candidate for it. Sadly, father does not allow her to be informed of the war, he doesn’t deliver your letters to her -and Princess Elia gets to be treated the same as well and there is no one else who writes to her, not truly.

A sane person would burn them all on a pile but my father acts as if it is his greatest hobby to collect unopened letters from a royal princess and the Hand of the King, which makes me sure that I truly took my wits from my father. He sees what I see and knows this will wake her up but still chooses to wait. He acts as if she is a secret weapon, and for some reason, I am not sure if it is against the king or against the prince but it most certainly is not against the rebels, and waiting for its use time to arrive. As I said, once the war reaches us, to the Reach, to a region that did nothing to those traitors, my father will stop sheltering her any longer. I just hope that you and Princess Elia will manage to hold on that long. I have more faith than the High Septon himself that she just will be the solution to all our problems, not because she is too powerful or because she is too smart but because she is mad enough to go to lengths none other would dare.

Until then, do not do something stupid. I have decided a year ago that I will marry with the Hand of the King, not with you but with your title, just as you do not desire to marry me but essentially with my father. You can go and another might arrive, it would not bother me, it would bother my father even less. But even under the light of all this, I would want it to be you, Jon, and I mean that truly. I am all aboard, for the better or for the worst and we have never spoken of it but I am aware that you can neither give me love nor warmth in my marriage bed (I look on the bright side; I never liked children anyways) but worst could find me and I hope for us to be friends, at least that.

With my all heart, I will pray for your safety,

Alysanne”

She let out another sigh, dried the letter and squared it delicately, burnt her finger a little as she tried to place her personal sigil and then gave it to her footman -who was not Leyton’s man nor Atera’s but hers and hers alone.

She looked at her looking glass, fixed the shoulders of her green dress (it was a velvety thing with dark green coloured lines adorning it, a silver belt was hugging to her waist and as accessories she was merely wearing, rather big silver earrings that the ends of it touched to her bare shoulders (she, of course, did not steal it from Atera, why would she do that?) and a small silver headpiece with a small gryphon touching to her forehead) and sighed once more -it seemed to sigh was all she did in the maddening peace of Oldtown and decided to visit her brother, Baelor.

She did hear the whispers of Lucerys Velaryon’s illness after all.

*

282 AC, King’s Landing

“I never knew Lord Velaryon had this many people who loved him dearly.”, Jon approached Elia, who was covered in black, watching the ship that would bring her to Dragonstone to send out the royal boat.

“He was the son of a Targaryen Princess and one of the king’s best lickspittle.”, Elia answered dryly. “Though he did win many great victories when he was young. His heart got darker as he grew up. I do remember that he was always kind to me.”, she turned her head away with a deep breath. “You don’t think he died just like that.”, it was neither a question nor a statement, more like something in between.

“We are living in dangerously turbulent times and such a death, which came almost too perfectly so none would think it came out of nowhere, of course, rubs me the wrong way.”

“I only know two people who would want to kill my uncle. One of them is living far away, doing Gods knows what in Highgarden.”, meaning Leyton. “Though I doubt he would do so to the grandfather of his children. If Corlys and Jace went away with everything they had caused at Oldtown, it was because Lord Hightower loved his children. I don’t see that changing.”

“And the other person is?”

“Took his body already to Driftmark for a private funeral.”, she shrugged, could Corlys go this far? Of course. The real question was who helped him to dare that? “Neither the king nor Ser Gerold are joining to it, for obvious reasons. Doran had excused his decreasing health, Oberyn is too far away and I know better than going to Driftmark.”, there was a high chance she could never leave it again. “All my uncle’s sons are going to be there, and a representer from every house in the Crownlands so it is not going to be private at all but still far less than he deserved.”

“What of your father?”, Jon turned to look at her, the wind was making the veil around her hair fly back but she didn’t seem bothered by the storm, Jon thrived in it. “Will they be expecting Captain Aethan’s presence?”

“My father had less than little love for my uncle. He stole his birthright, my grandmother thought my father was up to no good and they simply never got along. I don’t even know where he is.”, Elia turned to Jon as well. “I don’t know many things these days.”

“The air is stormy.”, Jon shrugged nonchalantly. “I am sure once the waters calm down, your letters will find you once more.”

“And who will make the waters calm down?”

“I will.”, Elia never heard him being more confident before. “I kept all my promises. Your son is anointed, more than half of the realm swore fealty to him, he is recognized officially as Rhaegar’s son and his immediate heir and now you will return back to Dragonstone, safe and sound.”

“My uncle promised you the hand of Alysanne Hightower.”

“If you want me to keep protecting you and your children, first I will need someone to protect me but Lord Hightower, for reasons I unfortunately do understand, does not want this marriage.”, a shadow of a smile passed from Jon’s lips. “We do write to one another and well, she is remarkable.”, his eyes narrowed but he did keep the venom away from his tone. “A marriage must be between equals. My title is equal to her name, and her brain is equal to mine. I want this match to happen because of reasons more than just survival.”

“Atera does not answer my letters.”, she said with regret.

“Neither she answers mine.”

“I will try to contact Ser Baelor.”, Elia promised. “He will not join to the funeral, neither will his sisters.”, this was news to Jon but he guessed Lord Hightower did not allow it. “Lady Malora, as much as I can tell, does not enjoy such events filled with people and Lady Tyrell just gave birth but I must say I am more than surprised that Ser Baelor will not join the funeral, given he was raised by my uncle more than he was raised by Lord Hightower.”

Jon got the indication. “You suspect something is about to happen in the Reach.”

“We will lose the war without the support that will come from the Reach, something must happen there and while I believe in Atera’s word that not even a single Reacher Lord would choose between Aerys and Rhaegar, I am more than sure they will stand by the crown and against the rebels. They are the support you need. Until I ensure the marriage, make it look like you had convinced Mace Tyrell and the rest for support. This will buy you time.”, Jon turned to her in surprise, Elia sent him a look, she was better now, far better. It seemed Lucerys’ death made her snap back to reality away from her fears. “And while it is rather early for such talks,”, she swallowed the ugliness of the topic. “you must make a decision on who shall replace my uncle on the council.”

“I have promised to Lord Hightower,”, Jon mused. “that Lord Redwyne would make an excellent Master of Ships.”

“Good.”, Elia nodded. “That he would do, he is the name I desire as well but,”, she realized the royal boat coming close, she looked at him again. “will it be the name the king desiers? I heard Varys start to whisper into his ear once more.”

“He had been whispering long before Harrenhal, I don’t think we shall fear the new ones but more of the fruits of the old ones.”, he said grimly. “I need to replace all the council members, except Ser Gerold.”, Elia agreed. Ser Gerold was not a friend to them but he was not an enemy either. She couldn’t help but huff through her nose and Jon frowned at her. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”, she shook her head but a smile appeared on her cold face even though she fought back against it. “It’s just; that so many people are here and all of them are trying to dig a hole under the other. With all this plotting, surely some will fall in no time.”, she turned to him. “Be careful.”, she forced herself to say. “Whatever we feel for each other, whatever we have lived in the past, I will never forget you actually kept your promise and helped me.”, she looked at him with sincerity. “Don’t die out there.”

“You’ll be fine in Dragonstone?”, he asked instead of approving. “You’ll not try to do stupid things?”

“As long as we are safe there, I will not.”, they both turned back to the sea. “I have a feeling the tides are about the change. Make sure that you are holding onto something before it happens.”

*

“My lady,

Gods are my witnessed that I would have ride for days and nights just to smell the scent of your ravenous hair than of blood and copper of the capital. You have accused me of not working hard enough to win over your hand but if you would have ask to the greatest love story, you would surely make them cause to be grateful of their pain, for mine is far worse than theirs. If you would have known how much I need this marriage, how much I need you at my side, you would be ashamed of yourself. Do not take my desire lightly just because it did not born out of physical lust.

Thanks to the Gods, apart from being away from you, I have no other problem as of now. Your letters are the only things in this world that offer me some level of comfort, a sense of not being alone in this world and if this is not the friendship you long for, I do not know what it is.

You asked for honesty and I will deliver so; the king is not well, worse than that; he doesn’t take the rebels seriously. He doesn’t give the command to me, the royal army is not prepared and we rely on the talents of bannermen like Lord Tarly. All I want is to be given charge so I can end the war but that future seems too far away. Every day we wait, the rebels are getting stronger. They are using Lyanna Stark’s name as a mantra even though we have proof of her running away with her own free will. They still have the moral highground and the king is not a popular figure, not today, not ever. Rhaegar’s absence is hurting our cause. I have sent Elia back to Dragonstone as I promised, but now I am more alone than ever.

Varys is a traitor. If I had been a cruel man I would have suggested to his majesty to burn him at the stake the next time, for Gods knows he deserves to more than all. Him and the queen always whisper to one another, plot and sceheme, think none else realizes and Chelsted is with them, siding with them. He had targeted me as his greatest enemy and while his lady wife, Kenna, sneaks information to us, we cannot ask for more in order not to risk her life. Those three are planning for something, not knowing it makes my sanity go south in time of war.

I can say many words about Corlys Velaryon, none worthy of uttering in the presence of such a graceful lady as you but be sure the world would be a better place without a rat like him. Corlys and Jacaerys Velaryon are the plagues of the Crownlands and I have no doubts they have been behind the demise of their father, even though both reject the accusations. You must warn Lord Redwyne, if you are in a position to do so. I have tried my best to install him as the Master of Ships but being Lord Admiral is not bad. Yet, he should not come to the capital, not now. He might be far more clever than the Velaryon brothers but I doubt he is as half as cruel. For his own safety, he shall reside at the Reach, prepare his own fleet.

I am more than sure Pycelle sneaks information to Tywin and that old lion’s silence is deafening. Lord Staunton is no help to himself to begin with and Ser Gerold hates everyone and everything. Devoted himself to the king, is trying his best to keep him under control. Ser Barristan joined the council meetings in his place and at least he has my back. Ser Jonothor is completely in my service now, shielding me, with the order of your great uncle. I am thankful for that but it feels like a great fog has covered the capital. I believe I cannot tell the difference between a traitor and an innocent, not anymore.

I will not share the battle plans with you, anything can happen to this letter, just know that we are going to win. Rebels have lesser men, commanders with little to no experience and Lord Tarly already crushed them once in Ashford. Victory will come with ease after this point.

I congrulate Lady Tyrell, I hope she’ll have an easy pregnancy. And I do not even know what to say about Lady Atera. I believe we both have different ideas on what has transpired at Harrenhal, which makes it very hard to see things from her perspective. So many things went wrong there and while she is right to feel upset about all, this reaction just goes beyond acceptable limits and is not suitable for her. I wish her a quick recovery. Perhaps hit her head with some book or something and see if it will start working again? I know little to nothing about Lord Hightower and Lady Alea but I am starting to gather an idea, good luck on that.

I will win this war soon enough Alysanne, and then your father will have no excuse to object our marriage. And for the other things you have said; best if we speak about them face to face. You are right, I essentially marry your family name and you marry my title but none of this needs to remain just as an political alliance. Everyone needs a lifepartner anyways.

Your prayers are the only things that are keeping me safe,

Jon Connington, Lord of Griffin’s Roost, Hand of the King”

Finishing the letter with a sigh, he took one of the candles and started to melt it, pressed his sigil and then flinched with a momentarily panic when his door burst open and a shocked Jonothor Darry entered.

“He is here!”, he declared as if he couldn’t believe it himself.

Jon frowned. “Who is here?”

“The prince!”, he said with clear shock and the letter slipped from Jon’s hands. “Rhaegar is here, he has returned.”

*

“He still doesn’t want to speak to me.”, Rhaegar murmured as he was being escorted back into his chambers with Barristan. “No one does.”, he sent a small look to the old knight’s face. “Including you, Ser Barristan.”, it seemed to him that everybody felt the need to blame someone other than the king and they chose him as the scapegoat.

“It is not my place to refuse to speak to you, your grace.”, he answered dutifully. “I shall answer if you want.”

“Is my interrogation over? Ser Gerold seemed to leave me alone after yesterday’s talk and today I was allowed to leave my chambers.”

“Ser Gerold seems to believe none of the words that left your mouth is believe, your grace.”, Rhaegar stopped walking with that, Barristan refused to look at him. “He and the king have agreed to let you be. Since you are not a solution, they do not want you to be a problem as well. You are free to do whatever you want.”

“My father still hasn’t summon for me as well.”, he cleared his throat and tried to hide the fact that he was a bit upset with such distrust.

“I believe his majesty has more important things to do.”

“Ser Barristan-“, Rhaegar closed his eyes and sighed. “Arthur and Oswell are well, if you were worrying about them.”

“I do not.”, he said with the same blank expression. “They are grown men now, not boys who need me to look after them. They have made their choice. One day, they will pay for it.”

Rhaegar opened and then closed his mouth. “How was Elia? My children?”, everybody was so upset with him but once he achieved what he was trying, they would understand so there was no need to push them right now. “You had seen them?”

Of course, Barristan had seen the way Elia almost lost her mind due to fear and paranoia but he didn’t think Rhaegar deserved to know her breakdown. “Princess Elia is a strong woman, your grace. Strong enough to get over this as well.”, he had full belief in that. “Princess Rhaenys and Prince Aegon were in good health as well. They are with their mother now, away from the dangers in the capital.”

“What dangers?”, Rhaegar frowned. “I know my father has lost his mind but he didn’t try to harm them, no?”

“Lord Connington went to great lengths to protect them.”, it was the best way to put it. “She left shortly after Lord Velaryon’s untimely death.”

Rhaegar frowned. “How long Corlys has been sitting on the council?”

“Moons now. Ever since Lord Velaryon’s health started to decrease.”

“And Oberyn?”, he asked and Barristan, for a moment, couldn’t believe the audacity. “What of my good brother? Is he in Dragonstone as well?”

“We have received information that Princess Elia and Prince Doran have agreed his presence would work for the worse here. He is being kept on Myr as we speak. Not allowed to return. But his companion, Ser Doric,”, Barristan looked at him for the first time. “has been allowed to return back here. The king has decided his punishment was untasteful and unnecessary and he was clearly framed.”

He was being hostile without being hostile and Rhaegar couldn’t help but feel like a sulking child. “Have you heard from her then?”, he asked with a quiet tone. “Lady Atera? Has she asked for this?”

“I do not know, your grace. But I believe it was Lord Connington who convinced the king. I doubt Lady Atera had anything to do with it.”, he heard Gerold talking about her only once, a short time ago, in a conversation about Leyton’s patience being running thin.

“Connington?”, his frown deepened. “Why would he advocate for Doric Hightower?”

“Perhaps as a wedding gift.”, he didn’t know the details. “Given that he is now betrothed to Alysanne Hightower, and the Hightowers being a very important ally in general, he might have wanted to end an injustice. Lady Uller also returned back to her position as the Lady of Hellholt. A formal order has reached Prince Doran.”

“He is betrothed to Alysanne Hightower?”, Rhaegar blinked. He remembered such a thing happened at Harrenhal but he never thought things would come this far. “It is a terrible idea.”, he stated. “Who thought of it? Atera?”

Barristan took a deep breath. “I am a kingsguard, your grace, not a gossipper.”, he didn’t want to be near to the man he basically reaised himself. “I am sure you would understand it.”

“Of course.”, he muttered. “I am allowed to do anything then?”, he asked one more time and Barristan nodded with exhaustion. “Good, then start preparing for a journey, Ser.”, he declared. “I am going to Dragonstone, to see my wife and children and to make sure they are not poisoned by these lies.”

*

282 AC, Oldtown

“Brother?”, she entered the room but did not find him there, then realized the open balcony door. “At least you are getting some fresh air.”, she muttered inside her mouth and stepped outside and there he was, sitting on a couch, hands covering his face.

“I cannot remain inside.”, he said with a crying tone. “I feel like the walls closing on me, I cannot breathe.”, Alysanne’s determination was erased as only sadness remained.

“Do not torture yourself like this.”, she held her skirts and moved to his side, sat next to him, and placed a hand on top of his. “Everything will be better. You will heal with time. One day, your face will smile again.”

“It’s not face that matters.”, he breathed into his hands. “Will a smile ever reach to my eyes again? Will air ever fill my lungs? Will light burn my skin, the breeze of roses ever cover me? No.”, he sniffled and rubbed his face firmly, wiped the tears and turned to his sister with a red face. “All that is good and warm and bright died with him. Spring will never come for me again. I forever will be winter.”

“Garth-“

“You will marry now.”, he did smile, but it did not reach his eyes. “I have met him, he’ll win this war, I know and then you’ll marry him.”, he repeated and leaned forward. “With a man who will never be able to love you, not in the way you will want, not in the way you will need. You are sentencing yourself to a life where you will spend it without being loved, without loving someone.”, he nodded lightly. “Why?”

Alysanne blinked in confusion. “Why?”

“Why?”, he repeated. “You are choosing his title, his station over the possibility of loving someone.”, he explained what he meant. “You are still young, you are what? Seven and ten?”, her name day hasn’t arrived yet but yes, she was seven and ten. “You are the fifth daughter. You can marry for love, you marry with someone titleless, you can not marry at all. Yet you are throwing a future away just because he has a title. One might see you as power-hungry but I know the truth.”

“And what is that?”, she asked with a raised chin but she didn’t like where the conversation was going.

“You are afraid.”, he said with a sad smile, raising a hand to caress her face. “You know what love does to people. You had seen the way father loved Rhea and hasn’t fully recovered ever since, you know how it hurt Baelor and even Alerie over the years, you are witnessing how much despair it causes to Atera now. For years, you have seen love one day ending and the pain that one goes through terrifies you so you give up a future where you will feel the greatest emotion in the world because you fear being that vulnerable. You are throwing a life away because you fear the pain.”, he leaned forward and whispered. “You do not get to lecture me.”

“Wouldn’t you?”, Alysanne didn’t even bother herself with denial. “If you knew this how everything would come into, wouldn’t you make a different choice?”

“Never.”, he said without even thinking. “Even if I would feel this pain for the rest of my life -which I will, I would not trace, not even a single moment, for a breath of fresh air. Ours was an impossible love where we both sacrificed our lives, our families, our reputations, and our future with every look we shared. We always knew there would be no happy endings for us. We both willingly agreed to live in the moments we stole, in begged and borrowed time. I do not regret even a second of it and this pain only makes everything more real.”

“Well,”, she cleared her throat, this was not the conversation she expected to have and frankly, it was a conversation she well left behind her. She made a decision, she was not going to change it now. “it seems not all of us as brave as you, nor as strong as you.”

“Love is not a weakness, Alysanne, it is a power.”, his tears started to gather in his grey eyes once more. “It is the only reason I am alive today and will continue to be so tomorrow. My love for Daven, even if he is gone now, will keep me alive and warm. What is there for you to keep you grounded in your darkest night?”

Alysanne just gave him a small smile. There was no place for love in the life she had chosen and there never would be.

*

“He does look like you, father.”, Baelor was holding his son to make Leyton see from a closer angle. “He has your nose.”

“You all have my nose.”, Leyton wrinkled his and winked at his son. “You are a father now.”, he took his grandson from his hands. “Soon you will understand the reason behind my every action, my every thought. Whatever wounds that are still left open from the past, ones that I have created, slowly with heal with Leo. Because you will understand with every passing day that the most important thing in your life is your children and more than most of the time, your duty is to protect them from themselves.”, he looked at him, one hand holding the baby, the other patted him on the shoulder. “I am proud of you, son.”, he squeezed it. “You will be a great father.”

“Thank you.”, Baelor had to press his lips together and clear his throat in order not to cry. “This means a lot to me.”, Leyton patted him with understanding.

“Have you written to your sister?”

“I haven’t had the time yet but you know Alerie. She might feel it before I do so.”, Leyton huffed and gave Leo back to Baelor, moved towards the bed his good daughter was lying on.

“Are you alright Rhonda?”, he wondered. “Do you have any pain?”

“There still was time for the birth, my lord, the babies were born early but all the pain I felt disappeared the moment I saw them.”, Leyton’s smile grew and he made a motion to take his granddaughter from her hands. “We already named them without consulting with you, I hope you did not feel insulted.”

“Yes, father.”, Baelor approached Rhonda’s side. “We can change it if you want.”

“I had ten children of my own to name.”, he murmured as he was rocking his granddaughter in his arms. “I believe you can do yours. Not that your sister ever asked for my opinion.”, he looked at Baelor. “She looks exactly like Alerie’s youth. Not even her own children look this much like her.”

Baelor snorted. “She will be so very happy to hear that.”

Leyton sighed, gave her to Alysanne and approached the bed and sat, pulled a box from his pocket. Inside, there was a beautiful silver bracelet with luxurious emeralds adorning it. With surprised eyes, Rhonda offered him her wrist when he made a motion for it.

“This was not necessary, my lord. I-“

“You are married to my son, you are the mother of my grandchildren.”, he clasped it and looked at her. “I decide what it necessary and what is not in this family, Rhonda. And I can tell that this lovely gift is necessary while you are addressing me formally is not.”, he squeezed her wrist. “Call me father.”, Baelor’s heart skipped a beat out of happiness. “Gods knows I have enough children but thanks to Baelor and Alerie, now both you and Mace are a part of our family.”, his eyes found Denyse and Alysanne. “Soon enough Ser Desmond Redwyne and Lord Jon Connington will join to it as well and while I do not wish for my other children to marry, our family will only grow. It is my dıty to love you all as my children and I believe it is time for you to address me as such.”

“Alright, then, father.”, she said after sharing a look with Baelor. “Thank you so much for this. It is priceless.”

“It was well deserved.”, he stood up and fixed his coat. “Rest now.”, he suggested the same as Baelor. “And once this war is over,”, he meant once Garth felt better and stepped out of mourning. “we will have a celebration to make, you both can be sure of it.”

*

282 AC, King’s Landing

“So,”, Richard visited him at night. “Jacaerys Velaryon never left Driftmark.”

Jon huffed without looking at him, he was pinching his nose in a messed up way. “Corlys is the traitor, why am I not surprised?”, he sighed. “Anything else?”

“Myles and I got knighted before Rhaegar left for Dragonstone.”

“Well, I told Rhaegar not to do it, so I am not surprised that he did.”, he finished his wine. His hair was messy, doublet half-buttoned, he threw himself to his chair, leaned on his back, and closed his face with his hands. “May I ask you a question?”, he asked after long seconds. “But you’ll answer with honesty.”

“Depends on the question.”

“Do you love him?”, he asked with a softness he did not expect from Jon, the ginger man lowered his hands and looked at him with true curiosity.

“What?”, Richard was not expecting this sort of a question. He blinked in confusion. “Where this question has come from?”

Jon shrugged. “It just is a question. I believe I am owed this much.”, there were only the noises of the fireplace in the room. “After we shared years together, being friends, being lovers at some point. I deserve some sense of honesty.”

“Go and seek elsewhere then. Why deep dive in my heart?”, he asked uncomfortably.

Jon’s blue eyes roamed over him. “You do not need to say it out loud, I got my answer.”, he said with distaste, reached forward and grabbed the wine bottle, didn’t even bother himself with the cup, drinking directly from it. “Why haven’t you fucking loved me by the way?”

Richard realized Jon was drunker than he thought. His frowned eyes found the empty bottle on the corner. “You are drunk.”, Jon only snorted at that. “You told me not to.”, it was an easy answer to give. “You told me not to love you, not to get attached and that it was not going to last forever. I did what you told me. Did not love you, did not get attached and it didn’t last forever.”, he shrugged. “We both know for sure you do not drink for what could have been with me, my friend. What is it troubling you?”, it was a stupid question, he knew it as well. “I just meant what makes you ask this question to me.”

“Curiosity.”, Jon opened his arms, and a little bit of wine dropped onto his shirt. “I just am curious about what the fuck is wrong with me that everyone can so easily replace me, find someone else while I am stuck where I am.”, he took a large sip. “Rhaegar had Elia, now he has Lyanna and you have Myles. I am all alone.”

“You never cared about it before. This was your choosing, this is what you always wanted, Jon.”, he hated being serious but he didn’t know how else to talk about it. “You never craved love before. You dread it even. You never let people in, you cannot possibly blame them when they finally give up.”

“Of course.”, he muttered taking another sip until Richard harshly pulled it from his hands. “Hey!”

“Tell me what is happening.”, he demanded with insisting brown eyes. “What is it?”

“The king has officially made me the commander of the royal army, I am going to the war.”, he said, cleared his throat, and locked eyes with him. “I am not going to return from there.”, with the heaviness of the declaration, Richard bowed his head with a sudden pain in his heart, for the better or for the worse, Jon was the greatest part of it. “It just would be nice to have someone to cry after me.”

“You have a betrothed for that.”, he said with a burning chest, a lump in his throat and a hoarse voice. He found the solution in the battle, just like Jon. “What was her name? Alysanne? Myles says she is ferocious. Definitely Atera’s niece. She seems like a good match to you.”

“She is a woman, Richard, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“How can I? I never met her personally.”, he pursed his lips but Jon was not in a mood for that. “You may not love her but she may love you.”

“And wouldn’t it be unfair to her?”, he wondered. “I marry her for my life insurance. A young girl, a life will be wasted. She will have to spend it with me. Trapped with me.”

“What sort of a trap is that? By all records, I heard she advocates this marriage and it is why Lord Hightower agreed to it. She seems to want it more than you.”

“She is a child.”, Jon turned his head away. “She doesn’t know what she wants.”

Jon was seven years older though his soul felt like the difference was seven decades. “Jon.”, Richard pressed. “What is it?”

“I have no siblings.”, he sighed. “I will need to have an heir. How will I do that without hurting her?”

“You will be torturing yourself first, you are-“

“It is my lineage, my inheritance, my castle, my blood. I am ready to pay the price for it to continue but her?”, he shook his head. “She is not aware of what she is giving up. I am not fit to be her husband, I am not fit the be anyone’s husband. All I do is let people down. She will leave me eventually as well.”, he pulled the bottle back from Richard. “All she has to do is to find someone who's better than me and there are plenty. She’ll find someone just like Rhaegar did, just like you did and she will abandon me.”, the way his mother did. “I will not return from the battlefield, Richard.”, he declared once more, taking a burning sip. “It will be better for everyone, especially her.”, he turned his head away. “Is it so bad to want someone to shed tears after you?”

“Perhaps you will return and will find some sort of happiness with her?”

“Do you know what Corlys told me?”

“Since when do you care about what Corlys Velaryon said?”

“He said that I am a villain.”, he finished the bottle. “And villains do not get happy endings.”

*

282 AC, Oldtown

“Are you crying?”, Leyton was not expecting that when he entered his daughter’s room. “What happened to you?”

“I am not crying.”, Alysanne said nonchalantly but Leyton didn’t believe it.

She was sitting on her chair by the window, head turned to the sky, knees pulled to her chest. She was holding a handkerchief in her hand, wiping her tears so very obviously and there was an open letter in her lap.

“Alysanne.”, Leyton warned, all his life he had one goal; protecting his children. Seeing them fall one by one was starting to get on his nerves. “What happened?”, he walked to her side and sat on the divan next to her.

“He is going to war.”, she said quietly without turning to him. “He will lead the army.”

“Who?”, Leyton frowned and then blinked feverishly with the realization and seemed taken aback. “Are these tears for Jon Connington?”, he was not expecting this to happen.

“He says that he will not return without Robert’s head. He says even if he does, a worse fate than death would expect him at the capital.”, she took a shaky breath. “He will get himself killed.”

Leyton had no idea what to say and never felt Meredyth’s absence this much before. He knew he had to approach this matter delicately. Alysanne was the fiercest of his children but also the most emotional one. The only difference between her and Alerie was his eldest daughter lived her emotions while Alysanne preferred to keep them to herself. He didn’t even remember when was the last time she cried and out of all his children, he would always think she was least likely to cry after a boy.

“Lord Connington is wise for his age and knows what he is doing.”, it was a very classic thing to say but he wanted to try. “He is right though. Returning back to the capital without a victory would be worse than death.”, Alysanne’s green eyes sharply turned to him and he held himself back from groaning. Normally in emotional matters like this, he relied on his children to figure it out with each other. Not that he didn’t care but he had a hard time connecting with them in matters like this. “Alysanne you knew him just a little more than a year and never spoke, only written to each other.”, he was aware of them all though he never read them.

“He writes to me that ‘hunter of my heart and the desire of my soul’,”, she sighed once more and Leyton had a hard time keeping his face from grimacing but he did cringe a lot inside and if she were not crying, he would have left the scene minutes ago. “he says that the scarlet days turn into nights, the sky waves like the sea but none of the seconds that have passed brings him to me.”, Leyton wanted to die instead of hearing the love letters of his daughter but he knew he had to act like a proper adult. She pulled the letter from her lap and smiled. “Look, he wrote me a poem.”, Leyton didn’t want to look. But didn’t want to break her heart so took it from her hands.

“ Were all stars to disappear or die, 

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime, 

Though this might take me a little time.”

“How lovely.”, he said with an annoyed tone. He was not going to like men writing love letters to his daughters in this lifetime, that was for sure. But when Alysanne raised an eyebrow at his reaction, he repeated himself with a fake smile. “How lovely, honey. I am glad that you are happy.”

“I am not happy, father.”, she objected, taking the letter back from him. “Look, he writes me such beautiful words and in the next paragraph tells me he is going to a path of destruction. He does not expect to return from this battle.”, there was a heaviness in her heart. “I do not know what to feel, or think.”

“Honey, I truly am sorry that everything has come to this. I would like nothing more than to see you and your siblings happy but not everything is under my control. Lord Connington started his duty as the Hand from the wrong spot because he was Prince Rhaegar’s friend. His position and life were always in danger and his only chance of survival was for Prince Rhaegar to ascend.”, he tried to be careful with what he’d say to her but from the knowing look she sent to him, he sighed with defeat. “Which you were already aware of their plans of coup.”

“People rarely spare me a glance, father.”, she said with a small smile, wiping her dried tears. Leyton hated seeing that redness in the face of his family. “It is easy to listen to men speak behind closed doors.”, she turned her head once more. “He promised to let me in to that room itself.”

“Alys…”, he tilted his head. “The only reason I do not tell you anything has nothing to do with your gender but with your age. You were too young to be allowed in such matters.”

“Well I am off-age now.”, she turned to him, and sniffled lightly. “Will you show me the same trust you show to Baelor and Garth?”

“Of course.”, he pressed, reaching out to hold her hand. “You have no difference in my eyes, I promise you this.”

“So I can do anything they can do.”

“Of course.”, the words came out of his mouth and he regretted it instantly because Alysanne started to smile and he realized this all was a trick. “No-“, he tried to take it back but his daughter shook her head.

“If the only problem was my age and not my gender this whole time then allow me to come with you to Storm’s End, father.”, Leyton stood up abruptly with that, trapped to his own words. “I am stuck here, father.”, she said desperately when Leyton turned his back without saying a thing, preparing to leave but had to stop with her words. “The only time I leave the secured halls of Oldtown is when I go to the secured halls of Highgarden and I am sick of it.”, her voice was shaky. “The only other place I have ever gone was Harrenhal and it was beautiful, to be free without a thousand eyes watching your every move. My brothers go on battles, on campaigns, on hunting trips, on political voyages and all I do is bid farewell to them and watch as they start on new adventures. Father please.”, her voice cracked. “I know I will never be like them but for once please allow me to at least feel like them, allow me to have an adventure of my own, I beg you, please.”, his face softened as she started to cry once more. “I cannot endure sitting here, being trapped, and just waiting to hear about the deaths of my loved ones. You have no idea how terrible of a torture this is.”

“If you ever wanted to accompany your brothers,”, he turned to her, she was standing as well, crying with true sadness. “all you had to do was to tell me. As I said, the only thing that held you back was your age -and your health. You know you have a rather fragile one.”

“The best maesters from the Citadel will join you father, they would prevent anything from happening and I am of age.”, she pressed further, and took a step towards him.

“Alys,”, he took a troubled breath, he couldn’t reject her when he knew better than all how terrible it was to be trapped into somewhere. “I am going to Storm’s End, for a siege. The tension will be high and you know the area is neither safe nor easy. You will not find the freedom you want there. Want to go anywhere else and I will send you but do not expect me to allow you to go to a siege.”

“You allowed Garth to go on a battle.”, she sniffled. “You will allow Baelor to go to war, he’ll unite with Jon. If they can do it, I can as well.”

“It will be a long siege-“, he tried to argue back but closed his eyes, couldn’t bear to see the heartbreak on her face. “I will think about it.”, it was all he could say at the moment, and it seemed to be enough for Alysanne too given she threw herself into his arms with excitement.

*

283 AC, Goldroad

“Not even the light of day nor the bright stars of the night helps my bleeding heart. I couldn’t count how many times I had seen a crescent, the full moon in the sky ever since the last time I had seen you and yet you still are not with me. You have written to me that you will not come back from this war and that is all I pray to the Gods; lift the darkness on your path and make you return to me so we can sit down and talk at great lengths was has made you this stupid that you give up before even seeing the fight because even I know such moods are not acceptable on the battlefield. I suggest you come back to your senses my lord, or you might find me on that battlefield, knocking some into you.

Alysanne”

He couldn’t help but huff through his nose with a small smile he could not supress, it seemed if a miracle happened and he survived, he was going to marry a high-class sociopath.

“Ser Baelor,”, he cleared his throat and sent a look to the blonde man who was looking at him with knowing eyes, he did recognize his sister’s footman for sure. “do not leave the area yet, there is a matter I wish to discuss with you before we continue our journey.”, Baelor nodded as they all were standing in front of Jon’s tent, waiting for their guest.

“Our Lord Admiral is here,”, Baelor spotted the riders with a raised eyebrow. “this is what you wish to speak with me, no?”, he turned to Jon. “About my uncle and the position he holds.”

Jon didn’t understand his thoughts from a single line. “While it is not unprecedented to have a different Master of Ships and a Lord Admiral, I prefer order at war times. Things would be easier if one person held all the power.”

“And you think my uncle is not fit for it.”

“You think he is?”, Jon sent a look to him and their eye contact broke only when Paxter entered the area and dismounted his horse. “Lord Redwyne!”, Jon greeted him. “It is an honour to see you here.”

“The honour is mine, my lord.”, Paxter, as customary, bowed his head to him deeply. “I have been riding for days, for a moment I thought the road would never end.”

“It seems you are landsick.”, Baelor snorted. “Good to see you, my lord.”

“Ser Baelor!”, Paxter grinned at him as he pulled him into a hug. “I heard the good news of Lady Hightower, congratulations. Have you named the boy Paxter or have you decided to wait for the second one for that?”

Baelor rolled his eyes. “Perhaps you would have more chance convincing Denyse into it.”, given she was betrothed to Paxter’s cousin Desmond. “Because there is no way in hell that Rhonda will agree.”

Paxter rolled his eyes but then he got serious. “I heard you two were having problems-“

“Nothing serious.”, Baelor shook his head. “Every couple has them.”, but his sudden lack of entertainment was obvious on his face.

“And Garth?”, Paxter asked more solemnly this time. “Is he alright?”, Baelor didn’t answer and turned his head.

Watching their interaction, Jon made a motion. “Let us speak in my tent.”, Baelor sent him a quick nod to change the subject and both ginger men entered the large tent and sat down.

“I suppose I should thank you for my new title?”, Paxter didn’t know the man well enough, he had to admit.

“You should be thanked for your talents, good ethics and intelligence for that.”, Jon declared. “I do not pick up names, I pick up their achievements on state matters and if it were up to me, I would have seen you on the small council as well.”, he explained as he made a motion for his page to pour both of them wine, placed Alysanne’s letter to his personal box -where he kept all her letters and reminded himself to write her one before the battle. “It is outrageous to have a man like Corlys Velaryon -who has reputed himself to have dubious loyalty, on the king’s council, especially when there is a war going on.”, he settled in front of Paxter and took a sip from his wine. “It is not my intention to start a war between the two heads of our fleet during wartime, do not get me wrong but I always defended if you want something in life, you should not wait for it to be handed to you. You must fight for it.”

Paxter raised an eyebrow. “You would have me eliminate Corlys?”

“Would that be a hard task for you?”, he pursed his lips. “Or something you would prefer not to do?”, he seemed almost surprised. “I said talents, good ethics and intelligence, Lord Redwyne, honour is not a part of it, if you’ll excuse so because I believe we both know yours is controversial.”, Paxter raised both his eyebrows now. “I am surprised, to be honest, I thought by now Corlys would be eliminated.”

“When there are men like Varys and Qarlton Chelsted at the council, why you have chosen Corlys as your target so ardently?”

“Chelsted is just an envious leech. His problem is not personal, he’d hate it even if Rhaegar occupied my title. He just cannot grasp the fact that he is simply not good enough for the job and for Varys, I just use a simple method.”

“Keep your enemies close.”, Paxter grinned.

“Exactly.”, he leaned to his back. “Corlys however, has crossed the line one too many times now and I will have more focus if I would be left with one problem less as I ride to the battlefield.”

“I still am not-“

“What if I tell you it was him who ratted out the plans of Ashford to Robert Baratheon, therefore causing the death of Lord Ashford and hundreds of Reacher troops?”, Jon deadpanned and the judging entertainment on Paxter’s face got erased one by one as a lot darker expression took its place.

“What?”

“Robert could be stopped at Summerhall but we failed because he knew our plans. Robert could be stopped at Ashford but we failed because he knew our plans. His grace’s former squire, Ser Richard Lonmouth, has been in my service for quite some time now and from the last information he gained, we have learnt Corlys’ equally useless brother Jacaerys never left Driftmark in the recent moons, yet Corlys offers report after report to the small council, claiming they are being sent by Jacaerys who is located near Stepstones, making up stories about how Braavos is attacking us, beseeching the king to rip out the peace treaty and start a war with Braavos -serving right into Varys’ hands. When I send Richard to invest this further so I can get rid of Corlys myself, I have learnt of his frequent leaves of Crownlands. One does not need to be a genius to guess where he is going but well,”, he opened his arms. “he has been meeting with Lords Estermont and Cafferen frequently, even before the rebellion officially started. He is the traitor amongst us. Now,”, he reached to a letter he had written and sigiled. “I can simply send this letter to his majesty the king and Corlys, alongside with the remnants of the Velaryon family, would be burnt by sundown and his ashes would cover the entirety of the Crowlands but I thought perhaps you would be interested in a more personal vendetta, given your previous unsavoury quarrels with the Velaryons, given everything he has been up to in Oldtown not so long ago.”, his blue eyes were focused on Paxter’s murderous expression. “The choice is yours, if you do not want to make blood splash on you, I can have the king solve the matter himself but well, where is the fun in that?”

“You know, Lord Connington,”, he leaned forward. “you have no idea how convenient this offer is.”

*

283 AC, Acorn Hall

“Behold! Lord Jon Connington, the Hand of the King!”

Jon entered the yard, already dismounted, with a firm face, dressed in all black leather, Richard and Myles at his two sides. He was ready to be done with the war after ridden over quickly despite his large army.

“My Lord Hand.”, Lord Smallwood bowed deeply, hands tied in his front, keeping a straight face. “Welcome to Acorn-“

“No need for pleasantries, Lord Smallwood.”, Jon raised a hand to stop him and then tied both at his back. “Just tell us where Robert Baratheon is and it will be enough.”, the man did not answer, just kept looking Jon in the eyes, Richard and Myles shared a look. Jon approached the man, counting inside to keep himself calm -a way his dear Alysanne suggested in her letters. “Cat got your tongue, Lord Smallwood?”, he questioned so very calmly. “I am asking you where is Robert Baratheon?”, he sighed when he did not answer. “Five thousand troops that must have come here within Riverlands preferred to remain impartial for the time being for it was you, a fellow Riverlander, who were protecting the said lord. It is why they did not want to draw their swords too quickly, I am aware of everything. So tell me where you are hiding him and I will offer you a royal pardon. I am asking you one last time; where is Robert?”

“I am hoping in somewhere safe and protected.”, the man deadpanned. “I have already sent a letter to his majesty for pardons given he committed no actual sin against the crown.”

Jon turned his head away, chewed inside of his cheeks for a second and then clenched his jaw as his hands, still tied at his back, fisted. He turned back to him. “What is this supposed to mean?”

*

283 AC, Oldtown

“I will start my journey tomorrow.”, Leyton informed Malora, both were sitting on his balcony, he was worried about her perhaps more than he was worried about others. “I will sail through the Summer Sea and then to avoid the Stepstones, I’ll move around through the Sea of Dorne. Only Stonehelm and Mistwood might cause trouble but both House Swann and House Mertyns are siding with Mace, so I do not expect any sort of danger. In order to avoid the Shipbreaker Bay, I will go on land on Rain House, Lord Wylde will be there to greet me personally and from there, I will ride to Storm’s End. I expect no problems. It will be a long journey due to all those cautions but three weeks at the top, it seems. What do you think?”

“I have no doubt that you will add another victory, father.”, she spoke rather quietly, she was playing with the candle in her hands, much to Leyton’s agony.

He was not sure if she was trying to light it or was just fascinated by it. Nevertheless, he did not like seeing her getting more and more drawn to that side of the world.

“Make sure to keep an eye on all your siblings while I am gone but especially on Baelor.”, it seemed to perk her interest as for a moment she seemed very aware of her surroundings and sent a confused look to her father, only for getting refocused to the candle in her hands.

“You do not trust Baelor?”, she asked with a flat tone.

“I cannot forget all the things I have heard about his actions during my illness.”, he confessed, would never do so again to anyone else. “I cannot forget how he went against my orders and married Rhonda in secret.”, father and son were acting like nothing had happened but the tension was still there. “And I am more than sure he has his own things about me that cannot quite forgive. I do trust my son,”, he looked at his daughter, who still was not looking at him. “I do not trust him during times of stress because he proved again and again that he would make the wrong choice. I do not want to risk anything. His situation is delicate. Gods forbid, a wind would start, rain would fall and his feet would slip.”

“Do not worry, he’ll hold on. I’ll look after him.”, Leyton did not trust her supervision skills exactly but knew she’d do her best now that she promised. He hoped perhaps this would be enough to clear off her mind. “He’ll make you forgive him with this task, I have no doubts.”, Leyton was not sure, when she spoke in certainty, if those were mere hopes of a sister or if she was saying those words because she knew something. It made him more and more exhausted with every talk, it was hard to endure Malora’s presence most of the time for his questions were never answered and he left with hundreds of more of them. “This will be a long departure father, we all will miss you.”, his face softened as he placed a hand on her head, slowly caressing her hair in order not to disturb her. “I am so sad for Alysanne.”

“Has something happened?”, he frowned. The last he had seen her, she was rather sad but not exactly depressed like Garth.

“I do not see a bright future for Lord Connington.”, she said with clouds in her mind. “She’ll become more upset. She should not be alone, father.”, taking a deep breath, Leyton finally made his decision about her. “She cannot follow you in your path but she should be away from Oldtown for the time being.”

*

283 AC, Storm’s End

“Your father wants you at his side, you know this.”, Mace argued for the hundredth time, Alysanne didn’t care for the same amount. “For your own safety.”

“This place is safe.”, she shrugged, eating her food in peace until Mace opened his mouth. “We took the city now, we have the castle.”

“We both know you are not stupid enough to believe to your own words.”, he sent her a look. “There is no place in the realm that is under more threat right now. How long do you think it will take for the Reacher Lords and the Storm Lords to start fighting tooth and nail? I’d be the first one to go if not Baratheon himself. You will be more protected if you leave.”

“What of what I want?”, she sent him a look. “I want to remain here. The new fashion in the realm is disobeying orders, committing treason and getting away with it. I am sure my father can stomach this one as well.”

“Alys,”, he sighed tiredly, put down his own spoon and leaned to his back, they were having a late breakfast and both wanted to rest more than anything. “what is the matter, honey?”, she did not answer but her movements got sharper. “Alysanne.”, he pressed. “Look at me.”

“I am sick of being locked away in that place or this place, I want to be free, Mace, is it that bad?”, she put down her fork rather loudly and looked at him with a sad frown. “All my life, I was only allowed to move in between Oldtown and the Red Lake, only once in Highgarden and once in Harrenhal -I feel trapped. My whole life I felt trapped. I was not made for attending lady-like activities left and right and smiling until it became a permanent expression. I am not Alerie.”, she declared loudly. “For the first time in forever, I like where I am. I enjoy being here, at the scene, where the action is taking place. I don’t want to go to the capital and live under my father’s watch again, being treated like a child. I mean something here.”

It was her plan to send out the miners. Yes, the bad weather threw them back for a couple of weeks but if Stannis did not yield, they were going to reach the castle soon enough and the victory would be hers. She did not like to stop being the centre of attention.

“You mean something everywhere, do not be unfair to yourself.”

She shook her head. “You do not understand.”

“Then make me.”, Mace prompted, he did not have anything better or more important thing to do, he just needed to find a way where they could prevail without anyone could kill the other. They scarcely mattered next to Alysanne’s emotional breakdown. “I am here, I am listening and you know that I am a good listener.”

“Have you ever felt like you were destined to go greater things but who you are is holding you back?”, she looked at him with a pout. “Like, you could be so much more under different circumstances but you are stuck to the place where you were born with so many things, so many people are not there to support you but to guide you to the path they already walked on, because of their fears.”

“The road not taken always looks better but it scarcely is the case, Alysanne. There is nothing more important than family.”

“Finding who you truly are and what you are capable of is not equal to giving up from your family but my father does not understand that.”, she leaned forward and pressed. “He is a man.”, she huffed. “The eldest son, the golden heir. He never had to compete in a race he was destined to fail his whole life, I have five other sisters and an aunt who could be as well my sister too. There always be someone who is prettier, someone more lady-like, more intelligent, more fun, more interesting and that someone never is me.”, Mace’s eyes softened. “At Harrenhal, when Lord Connington asked for my favour, I meant something for the first time ever. I do not define myself by some man’s interest but-it’s just-I don’t-“

“You felt like someone other than your family saw you for the first time.”, Mace concluded and she averted looking at him. “It is what I feel every single time I look at your sister, Alys. It is more common than you think; feeling you are never enough for your family.”, he reached out and held her hand. “Your father loves you very much and wants what is best for you.”, he tilted her head before she managed to agur back. “But what he thinks what is best for you does not necessarily mean it is what is best for you. I do agree that sometimes you just let your children be so they can find who they are away from you. We usually allow our sons to do that, one way or the other but our daughters? We raised them to build their own family since the moment they were born yet hold them back from ever doing so.”, Alerie was in the same place as Alysanne, but unlike her younger sister, she was not aware of her obsessed loyalty to her own house. “That being said, just because you need to find yourself, I cannot risk you here, out in the open.”, he pulled his hand back, Alysanne wiped a tear. “Tell these to Lord Hightower. We both know he’ll understand.”

“He scarcely understands any of us, he just pretends that he does.”, she whispered. “Sometimes I think he does not even try. Always too consumed by other things.”, her voice came out too strong for her liking, too vindictive, Mace sighed in realization.

“Is this still about Rhea?”

“He refused to acknowledge our suffering under that woman for years. What makes you think he will do so now?”, out of all his children, only Alysanne remained to be close to Leyton as she was before. Even Alerie let go of them but she stayed and it hurt only more.

Rhea was the only mother figure she knew, given Meredyth died giving birth to her and not even half a year passed until Leyton remarried her and both looked almost alike but not even a day, not when she was a child, not when she was a teenager, not even day she ever found a likeness in her towards Rhea. Even though Lynesse was younger than her, Alysanne was the one who always got declined when asked for something, the one who was always the second choice, the one that Leyton scarcely preferred to see. Just because Leyton forgot how he treated her back then when she was just a child because she reminded him of Meredyth and awakened his guilt, it did not mean Alysanne forgot about that too. She did not get along well with her siblings, only Garth and even him sometimes she was not suited to the Red Lake. It sucked to be alone in a terribly large family, it sucked not being even the second choice but the last one, it sucked to see her father caring about the bastards of the woman who tried to kill them all more than her and after tasting this freedom, after tasting being someone important, even if lasted for a moment, she did not want to give it all away and return back to her father’s shelter.

“You cannot fix anything if you do not speak.”, Mace did not know what else to say. This could be the only matter that all the Hightower siblings agreed on, two years or not, all deserved an apology from Leyton. Just because he was a good father did not mean he was also a bad one. “Atera is there as well.”, Alysanne’s pout deepened. “I am sure you will find a way to be.”

*

283 AC, King's Landing

“I am your father.”, Leyton finally found the courage to speak with her. With his summon, they were walking in the gardens now but Alysanne scarcely acknowledged his presence at all. “You might have negative thoughts about my decisions but I am your father, Alysanne. You cannot stop interacting with me forever.”, her silence that followed was almost a challenge. “I am not going to apologize for protecting you.”, again, nothing. “Alysanne-“

“My lord.”, he interrupted them with a cold look in his eyes. “My lady.”, he bowed his head appropriately to Alysanne, her green eyes shone and her eyebrow rose slightly. “I hope I am not interrupting.”

“You are.”, Leyton deadpanned, this was not how he wanted things to be.

“Lord Connington,”, Alysanne made a small curtsy according to his position. “I was not aware of your presence here.”, last she heard, he was exiled. “I thought you were in Lys.”

“Recent incidents, as you might imagine, had to change my location and his majesty the king apparently deemed it necessary, that I get my titles back. Though my presence here is not for long. Soon, I will leave it here to ride for battle,”, his eyes found Leyton’s. “again.”

He did not want to do that, he was afraid of doing that, he could still hear the bells ringing anytime he closed his eyes, even momentarily to blink, but Leyton’s orders were clear. He had to ride for Storm’s End as soon as he could. While he trusted his son-in-law and Randyll Tarly, he did not trust the Storm Lords, not even a bit -especially not after they heard about Mace sending the youngest Baratheon brother to Highgarden. He needed someone trustable in charge of his fellow lords so Jon and Richard were going to ride in a day.

“I wish you good fortune for it.”, there were many things she wanted to say to him, she realized but given she never thought she would see him again, none of those things were planned therefore no words came out of her mouth. “I hope your journey will be easy and your sword sharp.”

“With the …wishes of a gracious lady as yours,”, Jon hesitated, he forgot the right courtly etiquette in addressing her and he had a terrible headache, and needed wine in order to get rid of that -not to mention Leyton Hightower was giving him complicated signs about his daughter. All the desire for such a high-profile marriage disappeared for Jon right after the Bells and he had no idea giving any sort of false hope to anyone -though it did not mean he could disregard Alysanne, the daughter of the Hand, when the said Hand was present in the conversation. “I am more than sure the Gods will be kind and merciful towards my fate.”, Alysanne raised both her eyebrows, certainly she was not expecting such a shallow answer and she almost looked like she wanted to laugh at his face, Jon bowed his head. “Since I am interrupting,”, he cleared his tone. “allow me to leave you two it.”

“We would be so very happy if you would join us for supper tonight, Lord Connington.”, Alysanne said without turning to him when Jon already walked past them. He turned his body slowly to them, Leyton was scowling at his daughter but all he could see was her black hair. “I am sure you would miss such luxurious nights in a battle camp in Storm’s End. I know that I did.”

Jon blinked feverishly. “Battle camps in Storm’s End?”, he could not help but ask, what she was doing there?

“Haven’t you heard?”, Alysanne turned to him. “I was accompanying my brother-in-law back there for quite some time now, I was a part of the siege and later on I helped him control the household of the castle, until,”, she sent a side eye to her father. “someone summoned me back here.”

“You were in an …active war camp?”, he kept blinking. “During an active siege, alone?”

As a woman?

“My aunt was in Trident just mere moons ago, almost killed Robert Baratheon himself.”, she smiled. “Why is it easy for people to accept but weird when I do remotely less than that?”

Because Atera had no regard for her life, he thought Alysanne was more cautious and careful.

“You could get hurt.”, he said the first thing that came to his mind, Leyton was not involved with them in any way.

“But I was not.”, she shrugged. “And so many people get hurt every day anyways, we are at war, in case you hadn’t noticed, my lord.”, without allowing him to say something else, she turned her back and continued to walk without waiting for Leyton. “Oh and,”, she turned to him remotely. “I suggest you take a bath before you join us for supper. I cannot tolerate such sharp pain of wine.”

*

“Your grace,”, Jaime bowed his head, no matter how much Atera tried to get rid of him, Aerys kept sending him to her. “Lord Crane of Red Lake is here and asks for an audience.”

She was not doing anything, not really, just sitting in her daybed, watching outside, mostly thinking as her old habit returned, she was digging her nails into the flesh of her hand, causing it to be wounded, covered in dried blood. “Lord Crane?”, she asked absentmindedly.

“He arrived to Red Keep yesterday, your grace. He has brought Lady Alysanne with him.”, she vaguely remembered Alea saying her so but she was too busy planning that she obviously failed to show necessary attention to it. “What shall I say to him, your grace?”, Jaime asked again when Atera forgot to answer.

“Let him in.”, she closed her eyes, leaned her head to her arm, and did not stand up or turn to him when he entered the room, dressed in all black with silver chains. “If you call me your grace, I will order him to cut your tongue.”, she warned him before he opened his mouth. “I am not in a mood for such-“

“I am sorry for your loss.”, Vortimer chose to interrupt her with a solemn tone. “For Doric.”, Atera turned to him with a deep scowl, her mouth parted, she was not expecting this. “I wanted to write to you but couldn’t find the words, I do not think there is ever a way to describe such a pain and nothing can ever ease it, I am sorry, Atera,”, he looked at her with sadness. “for your loss.”

“He was not my brother.”, she said, lips barely moving, she dug her nail harder. “Didn’t you hear?”

It killed her, saying such a thing, her heart was shattered in pieces, especially thinking the last time they spoke, he told her that he didn’t give a damn about her parentage.

“It matters not, the blood you carry.”, he shook his head. “Doric was a great fighter, a good and honourable man and your brother. It is an insult to have a warrior like him die because he got attacked from behind and I am sorry for that. Atera-“, he tilted his head with a worried frown when Atera’s eyes filled with tears immediately and she turned her head away. It was easier to pretend it never happened that he was away, perhaps still in Myr, living his life. “Honey…”, he reached to her side but did not touch her without her permission. “It was not your fault, you do know that, right?”

She closed her eyes, and a few tears dropped. “It was me who started picking fights with that girl out of nowhere.”, she began to listen, digging her nails more and more with each word. “It was me who has done everything to create a rift between her and the king, me who poisoned her and caused her to miscarry, me who took away her brother at the end of the day, me who outed her plots and caused her imprisonment and almost execution, Vortimer. Whose fault is it if not mine?”, Vortimer took a deep breath. “I always do this.”, she broke down, crying was not in her plans today but she was overly emotional for various reasons. “I cannot just stand still, look pretty and be happy, I always have to create problems, pick up fights and I don’t even know why. I am renowned for solving problems -no one ever speaks about how I started all of them in the first place. I ruin everything I touch -perhaps I am cursed by the Gods even.”

“Ruthlessness sometimes is mercy.”, hesitating, he placed his hand on top of hers, stopping her from harming herself. “You know this as much as I do.”, not that Vortimer ever followed this motto but it was what it was. “That girl was a walking problem.”

“I am not sad for messing with her.”, she turned to him, still crying but there was a cold look on her face. “I am sad for not killing her when I had the chance, Vortimer. You are right, ruthlessness is mercy,”, that was not what he said or meant. “and I was too soft and Doric paid the price of it.”

Damn Arthur.

Vortimer didn’t know how to answer that. “He would not blame you for anything.”, he squeezed her hand.

“He is not here to blame anyone anymore.”, she pulled her hand away and wiped her tears. “But it is my problem, not yours.”, closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to ignore the pulsing headache. “Why are you here, Vortimer?”

“I was going to start my journey to Oldtown today but Leyton insisted that I see you first, thought it might be easier for you to communicate with me than him.”, he was going to spare the ugly details of their conversation from her. “How have you been?”, it was a stupid question, he grimaced. “He is worried about you.”, this also proved itself to be a wrong statement due to the small eye roll she gave him. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“Alysanne came with you.”, it was not a question but not quite a statement, Vortimer nodded. “But she hasn’t come to see me.”, he made a small ‘ah’ sound in understanding. “One can only guess the reasoning and I bet you have some questions as well.”

“I have none.”, he shook his head, he was not going to question anything regarding this matter. The less he knew was better for his sanity. “And the reason Alysanne has not come to see you is not because of anything you imagine-“

“You do not need to soothe me-“

“Because she doesn’t know.”, Vortimer finished his line kindly. “I did not tell her and she was already with me, coming here, when the news reached Storm’s End. She still thinks you are her aunt and in all the ways that matter, you are, Atera.”

She blinked and bit her tongue. “Then why-“

“She is pissed at Leyton.”, he shrugged. “He promised her to stay in Storm’s End, fully anticipating a battle to take place, he was sure a siege would not fix anything yet the moment the dangers of a battle rose, he summoned her back. She complained all the way here.”

“She was the last child of Leyton who kept adoring him, who kept worshipping him. It is such a loss.”, she said dryly, but feeling sad for Leyton nevertheless. He raised all those kids himself, taught them how to be someone, and tolerated all their mistakes, it was heartbreaking to see how his one mistake ruined the very foundation of their family-

His.

She corrected herself in her mind.

It was his family, not theirs, she was not a part of it, she never was and never would be, she was not a Hightower.

“They do love their father.”, he sighed. “But it is shocking for every child to realize their parents are humans as well that they make mistakes, break promises, and do not honour agreements. She’ll learn, in time.”, he was sure of it. “They actually spoke yesterday, or so I’ve heard. He chaperoned her as she spoke with the Lord Connington.”, he sent her a look. “I know you were not in your right mind back in Harrenhal,”, he never found out what was the real reason for her fighting with Leyton. “because couldn’t you at least ask me first before you drafted a marriage deal for my niece?”

“I did not do such a thing.”, she dismissed the subject. “Back then; I was playing a game and I was ready to do anything to secure a victory and it required me to keep Jon in his office.”, she shrugged. “Malora did not want to marry, Alerie was already married, Denyse was already betrothed and frankly, between Leyla and Alysanne, I always go for the latter. Jon saw the benefits of such an agreement but I did not draft nor plan anything, just planted the seed.”

“The man is a drunken now, in case you haven’t realized.”

“When I offered the proposal, he was a young lord who was extremely intelligent, politically smart and was occupying the third most important office in the realm; everything Alysanne wanted, he had.”, power and influence, being the centre of the attention. “And he is not a drunken now. He is just going through a bad time -we all do and it differs, in the ways we cope. As long as he harms no one, it is not our place to judge him.”

“And how do you cope?”, he changed the subject, did not know the man well and did not want to speak about it. “With everything? Drinking?”, he did not think so, she hated wine.

“I cannot drink even if I would want to.”, she shook her head -she cursed the letters Aerys sent to every castle but she was getting annoyed by the fact that he didn’t add the part she was pregnant so she had to say it to everyone else herself. “I’ll name him after you, if it will be a boy, Vortimer.”, she lowered her hand to her belly -she was starting to show it and she hated every bit of it. Vortimer’s head slowly followed her hand, focused there for a minute, in silence, and then he slowly raised his head back to her face and made another ‘ah’ sound, blinked. “If you’ll ask me how could I be this stupid; please know that I can still order Jaime to cut your tongue.”

“I was …not going to ask that.”, he murmured, eyes going between her hand and face. “I believe congratulations are in order?”, it was a question, he was dumbfounded, and he was not expecting this. “Prince Ober-“

“Ser Arthur Dayne of the Kingsguard.”, she deadpanned, Vortimer raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth.

“Fuck.”, he whispered and turned towards the door, tied his hands and leaned his back to the pillows. “I am sorry for your loss then.”, now everything made sense; the infighting back in Harrenhal. “I did not know him well but he was a good man, Ser Arthur, an honourable one.”, though honourable man did not break their sacred vows and impregnate young women just like Ser Arthur did -not that Atera needed to hear that.

“I know.”, she just said plainly.

“Does Leyton-“

“Everyone does.”, because of Rhaegar.

“And when the due-“

“Before the year ends, Carbollen and Alea guess.”, and Gaius guessed.

“You’ll name him Vortimer?”

“Not directly.”, her tongue hit the roof of her mouth. “Vorian might be, I don’t know.”, she pressed her lips together, it was a name she learned the other day, mentioned in the book she was reading -the last king of Starfall. It seemed somewhat fitting. “It does sound similar.”

“And if it is a girl?”

She prayed to the Gods it was not a girl. A boy would be a threat and his life would be in danger all the time but she was not going to take care of this child so she did not care, it was going to be, probably, Leyton’s problem to deal with -Rhaegar and Elia’s problem to deal with but a girl?

She would be destined to live her life and she could not afford that.

“I did not decide yet.”, she cleared her throat. “But enough of this matter.”, she shook her head. “Oldtown you said.”, turned to him again. “Tell me more.”

*

“Where did your shadow go?”, Jon asked, sipping his wine, today’s voting almost ended. They have divided the nine regions into three days.

Today they started with Riverrun, Westerlands and the Iron Islands -Atera wanted to get rid of those three first. She had no patience for any Ironborn at all and given majority of House Greyjoy, including their lord, died during the rebellion, she was left with no other choice than to pardon them all and while Balon Greyjoy, the new lord, paid her respects by force, he was only glad to leave as well. She was more than certain not even one Ironborn voted for her; whether because she was a woman, because she was a Hightower, or because she defeated them with having no knowledge about how to do that at all, she didn’t know, but their hatred for her was only working on her behalf so she had little complaint.

The Lords of the Westerlands were a bunch of lickspittles and nothing more. Tywin was dead now and each and every one of them was trying to fill his shoes in a way they saw fit and for that, they were bugging her off for days now -again, she was more than sure except for a few houses, all voted for Rhaegar because Atera refused to show them any sort of favour and made Tyrion the new Lord of Casterly Rock with Kevan Lannister as its regent. She didn’t know the man much but despite all her trust issues, when Leyton suggested so, she did not protest. She wanted them all gone as well. With Cersei being this close, she didn’t trust them, she was just glad no one cared for Tywin’s death so they were asking no questions. She was more than sure that it would lead straightly to Leyton and a part of her would do anything to avoid that.

Some of the Westerlander houses, especially the major ones, continued to stay though. Usually, they all were supposed to stay and wait until the answer of the council was declared and then join the coronation but she decided, that whoever would be chosen, the coronation would take place a year later because first, they needed to fix what was broken and given the entire realm knew more than well who would be their common choice, she did not see the reason in holding them here just like Jaehaerys and Aegon have done so.

She was happy until she realized one of the houses that would continue to stay.

House Westerling.

When she saw the name, as much as Alea told to Richard and Richard told to Jon, her face crossed with betrayal and she asked to be left alone for the rest of the day and just got out of her room this morning. Jon was not surprised that in between everything he forgot to realize while her mother was dead, her family was not and both Atera’s uncle and grandfather were there. With a little asking, he also realized they wanted to see her multiple times, never dared to approach her in public, but sent her away every single time. He also heard Lord Westerling wanted to speak with Lord Hightower and their heated argument got stopped by Lord Crane. He noted to take care of that situation once he had time because it was more than obvious that her family was not going to leave before she spoke to them and knowing Atera, he was more than sure she would never do such a thing.

Sending Riverlands was not a priority to Atera but they needed to choose a region and Catelyn already voiced her desire to leave as soon as possible in order to avoid Eddard Stark. She also wanted to return home because her sister and brother were left alone, Riverlands was torn to pieces during the war and she had a lot of business to do. Lords of Riverlands, while not as warm and understanding as Dorne and the Reach towards a woman’s rule, they were also not as judgmental and disapproving as the North and the Iron Islands. She was going to have a tough time, especially given she was with a child and her due date was not that far away, but they all had no doubt that she would prevail in the end. She already said her farewells to Atera in the morning, she was going to vote for Rhaegar as she promised and while they were not so sure of all her bannermen -some truly respected Atera greatly there and would support her over Rhaegar, even shocking houses like Darry, their votes would not change the overall decision so they too were allowed to leave.

She was watching the entire charade from her throne. Ser Barristan and Ser Oswell were at her back, Lady Alea and Richard were on her right, waiting in silence and Rhaegar was in the corner of the throne room with Jaime next to him. Jon spotted Arthur coming and going for a while -a Dayne soldier summoned him but Jon didn’t think it was something urgent, or else Arthur would be more worried.

“I don’t think you should be drinking this much wine.”, Rhaegar, who apparently had the guts to come to his side, also dared to mention his drinking as his opening line. “It is not good for your health.”

“With all due respect, your grace, my health is none of your fucking business.”

He was not drunk.

He was not.

“I heard you were in contact with Lord Hightower,”, he changed the subject immediately but his eyes did not leave the wine cup -how many he drank before that? His speech didn’t slur and his eyes were not blood red yet but he could smell the alcohol. “regarding your marriage with his daughter -is that true?”, if he hadn’t fucked up everything, Jon would be married now -perhaps even with kids.

“Lady Alysanne is …beautiful,”, Jon cleared his throat, not that she felt any desire towards her but she was easy to look at and clearly had a striking beauty with her jet black hair and emerald eyes -he was not sure but there was a dimple or two when she smiled, he guessed. “braver than most men I have met and definitely intelligent but it is an empty story. Nothing to anticipate here.”

“Why?”

“Because she deserves better than the likes of me.”, he said words without struggle, this was a thought that roamed at the back of his mind ever since the topic of this marriage opened and given his pit of failures, she could do so much better than a man who worth nothing and would never appreciate her the way she deserved. “I can never give her what she wants.”

Rhaegar felt like he was struck by lightning. “Any woman would only be so lucky to-“

“Save it.”, Jon closed this subject as well. “It is my life, none of your business.”

Rhaegar sighed but he did not feel defeated, on the contrary, he was more ambitious to win now. Jon was one of his oldest and dearest friends, yes he made mistakes but it could not be too late to fix them, he would not accept that.

“I have …expected you to come to me so we can talk.”, he chose his words carefully. “I understand why you haven’t. Perhaps you expected me to come and I do agree that this would be-“

“I did not come to you to talk because I do not want to talk with you, Rhaegar. Why is it that hard for you to understand that?”, he sent him a strict look. “Go back to your partners in crime and leave me the hell alone.”

“Jon, please-“

“You have shown again and again that you have no regard for me, nor care for my opinions nor respect for my position.”, he stopped a hand to stop him. “At every turn, you did exactly the opposite of what I told you to do, did not include me in your inner circle, said with not many words that you thought I did not deserve to be the Hand-“

“I only meant that your time hasn’t come.”, he shook his head. “I said so to protect you because I love yo-“

“Do not dare.”, his voice was deadly and it did not only shut him up but also forced him to take a step back, indigo eyes widening with realization. “Do not ever dare to say that to me.”, his face was crossed with an emotion -if Rhaegar didn’t know better, he would think of it as hatred or resentment.

“I meant-“

“I do not care what you meant.”, he continued with the same tone. “The pain you reap is the pain you sow, Rhaegar and it is time for you to understand that. We are not your playthings, and neither Elia nor I am under your control, you cannot send us away when it is convenient and call us back when you fuck up and sure as hell, you cannot tell us that you love us after everything you have done.”, he spat, Rhaegar bowed his head. “I pity Arthur, you know. Even after everything he lacks the dignity and the self-respect to stay away from you. I do wonder how long it will continue though; until it consumes him or you?”

“Arthur and I are no longer friends.”, he never thought he would say such a thing and it killed him to do so but it was the truth, he and Arthur were no longer friends and Rhaegar, who lost everyone, had no idea how to even start fixing things. “I have no one.”

“Good.”, he said with a vindictive tone. “It’s exactly what you deserve.”

*

“You can wait here.”, Alysanne said to her maid and knight as she arrived at the location Jon told her to, they agreed to meet there before he left, he sent her a note, thought it would be so very disrespectful if he left without saying his farewells. In between all that she heard of his current state, his hearing of her made her feel …important. “Lord Connington.”, she offered him a small curtsy though nothing too elaborate, his station did not command so.

“Lady Alysanne,”, it was not a secret meeting, no, her father was too occupied but her uncle was aware of it and Jon had his own household, it was a very public occasion, he had only true intentions. “thank you for coming.”, he had his usual stern face and clouded eyes, he bowed his head slightly to show his respect and while his blue eyes were a little reddened -no doubt because of alcohol, he was not drunk now. “You lighten my day.”

“Why do you speak to me like this?”, Alysanne asked rather softly, nothing on Jon’s face changed but Alysanne sensed that he was worried by her response.

“My lady?”, it was too hard to read him, she would give him that. He was a master at hiding his emotions -Alysanne wanted to learn everything about him that there was to know, even the things that no one else knew. “I-“

“Are you aware of what you are saying to me?”, she asked with a raised chin -the corner of his lips almost crawled into a smile, she did catch that, but it passed away so quickly that she almost doubted herself if it even existed in the first place. “You cannot address me like this if you are not courting me.”, she dared him. “And we both know that you pulled away your proposal without asking me, just like you offered so in the first place without caring what I think about it.”

“If I remember correctly-“

“I am more than sure that you do not.”, she interrupted him, Jon narrowed his eyes at her but for a reason, he seemed amused to her, not aggravated. “Only after you made your intention known you sent Atera to ask me how I feel about it all, not before. Perhaps I did not wish you to court me.”

“That’s not what I remember.”, he said softly. “What you hear from my lips is what goes through my heart, when it comes to you, Lady Alysanne. I wished to marry with you in order to secure my position as the Hand and then I took my offer back because I believe you deserve a better man than me.”

“Why not Leyla or Malora?”, Alysanne asked the moment he finished his line, the ginger man frowned.

“Pardon me?”

“I had two unmarried sisters; Malora and Leyla, both older than me. Custom and tradition dictated that you court them yet you chose me. Why?”, she asked directly what she was wondering for moons now.

“Because I needed a match quickly and you were the only one in Harrenhal.”, had he been another lord, Jon would have found a charming thing to say and make her swoon, Jon did not. “I did pursue you that ardently because I admired your intelligence and the sharpness of your words.”, not her beauty -if Alysanne didn’t know where his interests lay, she would take that as an insult but she knew she was beautiful and did not need Jon to say that out loud.

“You are aware how this would look if someone sees or hears us, yes? Now that you and I are no longer an item.”

“Given you bring it up frequently, I will dare to assume you are not happy with my withdrawal.”

“No, I am quite content with it actually.”, Jon raised an eyebrow. “I would not want to marry a man who thinks that he has the right to make decisions about my life without asking me.”, she had no idea how deep that cut but Jon’s entire expressionless façade broke down and he looked at her with insecurity. “I am not going to deny the fact that I wanted to marry your station rather than yourself but it was before I get to know you. I just hoped the man I started to write rather amusingly would have the consideration to at least pretend to care about my opinions.”, she truly believed Jon understood her in a way no one else in her life did. Seeing he was just like the rest was quite shocking indeed.

“Lady Alysanne,”, he tried to put his mask back, not that he succeeded. “I am a soldier. Countless times I have fought to death without even blinking, I have put myself into the vanguard and risked everything for the wellbeing of this realm. Are you aware of the fact what I am about to do now?”, Alysanne frowned. “I am leaving this continent. It is no exile like Aerys rewarded me for trying to solve the crisis his son started, it is me choosing to leave because there is nothing in me here anymore. Robert Baratheon and Eddard Stark walk free while people whisper behind my back and laugh at my face for failing to stop them -I lost faith in my cause because these people deserve nothing. I cannot drag you into this mess with me and if you are fishing for any sort of an apology, then I suggest you stop. I did not dare to make a decision about your life, it would not be my place even if I had been your husband, I simply made one about my own life and I am not going to take it back.”

Alysanne looked deeply into his eyes as if she was seeing his soul -Jon tried to straighten his spine but under her heavy gaze, failed, he hesitated and Alysanne caught that, her lips curled into a smirk. “Then I merely wish you good fortune in your life, my lord. I hope you can find what you are looking for.”, firmly believing their paths would cross once more.

“I will.”, Jon murmured. “And I hope you can-“

She interrupted him once more by taking her necklace -it was a simple thing with a shiny sapphire in the middle, a Crane family heirloom, one that mattered to her deeply. “Take this as a token.”, she, without asking, took his hand into hers and placed the necklace into his palm, closed his hand and answered his questioning looks with a challenge. “You are going to return it to me one day.”, Jon raised his eyebrows. “As you beg me to marry you.”

Chapter Text

“i was a functioning alcoholic ‘til nobody noticed my new aesthetic”

290 AC, King’s Landing

“You need a wife.”

The windows were flung open by the servants, and light started to creep in, her voice echoed in his head loudly as he grimaced and pressed his face further to the pillow, he thought of suffocating himself for a moment but did not think that even in death, he could escape from her relentless pursuit of finding a wife to him.

“Ever the eloquent speaker.”, he groaned to the pillow -his heart started to race then, his blood pressure increased enough to cause a ringing in his head. Was he reeking of wine? He failed to remember if he drank last night -or if the amount of it was enough for her to smell on him hours later. “Don’t you have better things to do, Atera?”, he wondered, trying to play calm and collected despite feeling incredibly nauseated because if she would get the hang of it… He forced himself to straighten up in bed, was aware that his face was probably reddened due to sleeping on top of it the entire night and he barely managed to open his eyes. “It barely is the morning -you know this is why I do not live here, no?”

“The early bird gets the worm.”, she deadpanned. Her hands were tied in front of her and she tilted her head slightly to her maids. Within seconds, they were left alone inside his bedchamber. “The longer you avoid this matter the it will take for you to get rid of me.”

“You always judge Rhaegar for fixating on things but pray tell, how this is different than that, what you are doing?”

It has been quite a few moons now since she started his pressure to find him an appropriate match, all of a sudden. Well, not that all of a sudden though. He had to admit that. It has been almost a year since he got injured during the Ironborn Rebellion and it seemed him dying without an heir, for some reason, bothered her the most and ever since, there scarcely was a day in which they did not speak of this matter.

“And you always judge others for falling short in this game, for shrinking from their duties. How is this different than that?”

Perhaps I do not care for the game anymore. “I am not short of appropriate kin to take over Griffin’s Roost if the worst would be fell on me, my lady but Lord Haigh is.”, he rubbed his face. Since she was continuing to speak of this matter and not berating him for a possible smell of alcohol, he could guess that he had a particularly calm night. “Atera,”, he looked at her with a sigh, managing to open his eyes properly at last. “you forget that I know all your tricks and bluffs. You know that you will not get to change my mind. You know that you are not going to win. Why don’t you chase after other things? Focus on Elia and Rhaegar, if you want. Take interest in their marriage.”

“The only interest I might possibly find in that carriage wreck would not be sufficient enough for all the efforts I might spend if I decide to get involved with it.”, she waved him off without a care. It has been also almost a year since Elia moved back to the court with the children, a year since they gave another chance to their marriage -at least in the eyes of the public but in private, it was more than obvious, that their lack of bond. “This case, however…”, she smiled for the first time during their conversation but it was not a happy one, no, but a fake smirk. “I am adamant, Jon.”

“Alright, I’ll play.”, he took a deep breath and pressed his palms on his bed as he straightened his spine. “Tell me about the lady you have found. Tell me that she plays the harp oh so well and is an embroidery prodigee and I tell you, without skipping a beat, that I do not give a fuck about that.”, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Tell me about the other one then, and how strong connections she has and I’ll stress that I am the Hand of the King and I do not need connections any more.”, not because his life was no longer threatened. This was Westeros, being assassinated was always an option, even for the less important and mundane lord let alone the Hand himself but because he had no care for his position and title anymore, nor for his life. Not that he would say that aloud, ever. “Tell me that she would be good for me.”, he let out an unintentional chuckle. “And let me remind you that you are mistaken about the gender, dear.”

“There is no game to play,”, she said after a moment of silence. “but a choice to make.”, her eyes found his cabinet then, the one that was filled with wines, as if she placed them there herself. Jon felt the tension spreading to his body. “Do I need to say it out loud, Jon?”

“I do not know what you are talking about.”, he spoke without skipping a beat, not even a muscle moved on his face, he didn't even blink as he looked at her.

He pressed his hands further to his bed to keep himself grounded. He was fighting with the impulse to stand up and block her view of the cabinet but knew that things would go south if he did so. The only thing that kept his sanity was that she had no proof, no evidence of her suspicions and as long as he behaved like a man in his right mind, she would never have so.

“Do not-“, she closed her eyes, pressed her lips together as she took a deep breath after raising her voice momentarily. “Do not insult my intelligence.”, she said with a low tone. “We both know what we know.”, but Rhaegar and the rest didn’t and Jon would like things to remain that way for his sake of mind or else they would look at him with pity, as if he was a wounded animal in need of a care and then they would try to help him as if he was so weak that he could not face with his demons alone. He would rather die than become a spectacle to those people. “You are going to marry.”, she declared out loud. She had such implications before but this was the most directly she ever addressed of it while still remaining subtle. “Surely there is an appropriate lady in this realm whom even you might like.”

“You covered your mirrors.”, he said, eyes focused on the ground as she turned around to leave the room but stopped when she heard his voice. “Why?”, the silence grew between them but he knew that she would never say something and he didn’t need her to. He already knew the answer. “The sun will be too bright today, or so it seems.”, he sent a look to the open window.

“The sun is always too bright these days.”, she spoke with an obvious lump in her throat.

“And you are always in the gardens.”, which was odd given she grew up in Oldtown and in Oakheart and in Highgarden and never had any love or interest in flowers and bushes. All King’s Landing ever could be was the shadow of their beauty yet she was always out here. Always in the gardens, covered in flowers, under the bright sunlight. “But then again, it has always been easier for people like us to look directly at the sun than the mirror.”, he was not trying to hurt her but he failed to see the difference between the truth and insults anymore. “We would rather be blinded by the lies than to face with our own reality.”, he looked at her.

She was dressed in a silver gown with white furs in her rather generous cleavage, adorned with a deep blue cloak that had golden accents. Despite the recent increase of richness in her gowns, he could not say that she was dressing like she used to, no. Just like the gardens of the capital, she too was the shadow of the person she once was. He did not understand why she was torturing him when she herself was no better.

“I do not know-“

“Do not insult my intelligence.”, he repeated her. “What do you think will happen, Atera? You know that saving me will not save you. Why do you bother?”

“What a lovely sapphire.”, her eyes found the gemstone placed in his nightstand. Jon’s eyes fell on it too but before he could say something, she continued. “It is the king’s wish too.”, she said with an iron-filled tone and Jon raised his eyebrows. Hiding behind Rhaegar to get what she wanted… Had he still had delusions of grandeur, he would stand up and shake her until she came back to her senses but he now knew that he couldn’t. He did not think so highly of himself anymore. He knew that he was nothing important, nothing special. He knew that he did not have such powers. Then why did she? “You are going to marry, Lord Connington. Try to make peace with that idea.”

*

290 AC, Oldtown

“Will you speak to Alysanne today?”, Baelor asked while his father signed the treaties with the Free Cities. The downfall of the previous Sealord helped their finances, therefore power and reputation, more than they initially believed. House Hightower was restoring back to its former glory and power slowly but surely and he knew, though Leyton would never say it out loud, that it was all thanks to him. “We cannot hide it from her any longer. She is bound to hear it sooner than later.”

“I will speak to her when I make a decision about the situation.”, his father spoke absentmindedly.

Despite writing the papers himself, he was still reading them before he agreed to them. This was perhaps one thing that the years and many scandals failed to take from his character. This made the said years and scandals more and more vain because if being this careful and controlled was such an integral part of himself then how come he lost the sight of himself that dire?

“Father, his situation is…”, Baelor frowned slightly. “Yes, he is young and I truly hope that he will heal but this is tuberculosis we are talking about. You have studied at the Citadel yourself. You know how things can go south at any minute. It would be unfair to chain Alysanne to such a fate. I do not-“, he hesitated for a moment. Despite all, it still was hard for him to disagree with Leyton. It was one habit that he failed to get rid of. “I do not think that you should go with this match. I think calling off the betrothal would be the best course of action.”

“You think?”, he asked but not in mockery. He genuinely was asking. He finally let go of the papers and leaned to his back, looking at his son. It was a dark couple of years for the entire family. Secrets and scandals finally caught up with them and Leyton’s reaction made things worse. Locking himself to his chambers and avoiding the real world nearly destroyed their house but he was better now, Baelor guessed. It shouldn’t be their duty to burden his failures or fix his mistakes but Baelor made his peace with the fact that he would hear neither an apology nor a simple ‘thank you’. He just forced himself to be glad that he was simply better now. “Your sister already has one broken betrothal and this match has been going on for half a decade. If it would end without a marriage, no matter the boy’s disease, it would end her reputation.”

“She should’ve been married years ago.”, he argued. “She is four and twenty, father and is not getting any younger. The longer you wait to make a decision, her prospects of a proper marriage are getting lesser and lesser. She deserves so much more than being the company of your misery.”, he spoke without thinking. Otherwise, he would never say the last line but even though Leyton froze for a moment, he chose to act like he never heard such a thing. “All I want to say is,”, Baelor cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “that she deserves to have her own family and this has been going on for too long. You should’ve called it all off when he first demanded to postpone the wedding due to illness. It is one thing after the other but now the situation is more dire. Tuberculosis is not only extremely dangerous but also contagious. How can you even hesitate to free Alysanne from a promise that she didn’t even make in the first place?”, she was told that she was going to marry Arthur Ambrose, not asked prior to that.

“He is going to be a lord one day.", he scowled at him. Yes, he was aware of Alysanne's growing annoyance and frustration but they all needed to be a bit realistic now. "Is not that bad looking, close to her age, is not known to be cruel to women or children or animals.”, Baelor wanted to remind him of the maid that he apparently impregnated and sent away in haste before the baby was even born and this was why they tried to make a match with Alysanne in haste but knew that his father would claim them to be rumours and gossip again so he kept his silence. “I’d say that he is a decent shot and has a worth-noting amount of richness. His castle is vast, your sister would never need anything and his father is a decent man who has been my friend for a very long time -even when no one wasn’t.”, and this time, Baelor chose not to hear his last line. The reason his father was friendless, save a few, as of now was because of his own faults. Not because of anyone else. “It was the best match that I could find for her, given the time and her status and a weak immunity is not exactly a reason to call off a five-years-long betrothal, Baelor.”

“It is contagious!”, he felt like he was an idiot. The illness was, most of the time, deadly and it was contagious. How come anyone could marry him under these circumstances? “Not to mention that they hid it from us for weeks so that you would not end things, father. They do not have good character or the honour of decency, I say. Alysanne can do better.”

“Then how come she never has?”, it was a cruel question to ask a father about his own daughter but it was a cruel word that they were living in and sadly, this was the truth. Even in his best days he ever had a proper man, a lord, approaching to him for Alysanne’s hand. People were simply not interested in her. “You have to understand that what happened with Lord Connington is not the norm.”, there were no more sugar-coating things. He learned from his past mistakes. “He needed me, back in the days to save his neck from Aerys. It was a match designed for that purpose only but that was almost a decade ago. No other man in a similar station ever showed interest in your sister and the last time that I checked, neither did Jon Connington, once the threat to his life stopped existing.”, Baelor wanted to argue, he wanted to defend his sister but what was there to defend her from? The cold hard truth and the reality? “Arthur Ambrose is the best she can do. Even if I end the betrothal, she is not going to find someone better -and on the very contrary. Things would be worse for her. People would talk.”, people already talked because of Leyton but Baelor bit his tongue. “Would you have her marry a no one like your other sister?”, ever since her secret wedding, Leyton was not in touch with Leyla -and with Vortimer, by extension, because he took her in when Leyton sent her away.

“Father-“, he took another deep breath. “At least speak to her before someone else does. You do know that servants speak.”

Leyton rubbed his face but knew that he owed her at least a talk even though he had no idea what to say to her. “Fine.”, he agreed. “Summon her.”

*

When he entered her room, he regretted not knocking beforehand immediately. The sight that welcomed him was not something that he could ever get used to but it was also something that he could not actually protest against because he, once upon a time, was no different than her. Still, though, she was his younger sister and seeing a naked man in her bed was …gross.

He didn’t know when this first started -or how, only that when he caught the wind of what was going on, it was too late for him to control the situation. This was most unlike Alysanne, entertaining lovers in her bedchamber -just like Atera used to, but truth be told, everything she did and said was most unlike her for a long while now. Their father’s depression and fall from grace hit them the hardest and people whispering about her broken betrothal with Lord Connington did not help matters.

Alerie was in a position of power, and Leyton’s fall, unfortunately, sadly and so very dangerously, only strengthened Baelor. Malora, while not completely unaware, was unaffected by everything because she neither needed Leyton’s presence nor his power. Denyse reached her happy ending at last, Leyla managed to leave the past behind and Rhea’s children were used to being ignored and whispered at. It was he and Alysanne, who got affected by everything the most but then again, it was he who chose the shadows even before that. It was where he was comfortable now, where he managed to be himself. Alysanne though… She was not like herself for a long time now.

Her betrothal to Arthur Ambrose was not exactly happy news when it was first announced. Alysanne was crossed with Leyton for moons for promising her hand to a man who once wanted to marry Atera and him doing so without even consulting her or at least telling her before the agreement made things worse but from Leyton’s state of unawareness born something worse. Alysanne started to mirror his careless, reckless actions and in many ways, resembled Atera in her youth and Garth wondered just how much his father’s negligence and general disinterest shaped who Atera was back in the day. His once smart and sweet sister slowly turned into a bitter and alone woman, forever stuck to Hightower despite being betrothed for the past five years. The news of this match got soured over time and now, people dared to directly whisper their vicious words to her face. It was why Garth did not do anything about this situation. He too lost faith in this possible marriage and if this affair was her own choice, then who was he to say something about it?

Though he firmly believed that she could do so much better than Leo Costayne.

It wasn’t that the man was not handsome or was known to be a rake. It was just… Garth did not know him well and did not actually want to know him well because he highly suspected that he saw this affair as a victory and was in it because she was Alysanne Hightower, not because she was Alysanne. For men like him, the Hightower name still meant something and Baelor’s efforts of saving their reputation actually started to work. Garth knew that if he looked further into it, he was going to find out that he was just biding his time, taking advantage of her blurred betrothal and once they went back to their feet, he was going to demand a marriage and become a part of their father’s richness and power. The only reason why he did not already, Garth guessed, was because he figured the safest way to fulfil his ambition was to impregnate her. He was just glad that Alysanne was smart enough to never let such a thing happen and he was restraining himself only because if his suspicions became true, he would have no other choice than to kill the man and it would only hurt Alysanne and their bond.

It did not stop him from sending a hateful look at him and then gathering his clothes from the chair and throw to his face. “Get out.”, he ordered coldly, was perfectly aware that he sounded a bit like his father, and then without sparing him another glance, he walked to the balcony.

He knew that he would find Alysanne there, she was always there in the mornings, inhaling the salty air that was coming from the sea. He had half a mind that day, to ask why exactly she was doing this because she did not seem happy or as if she even remotely liked the man. But as usual, failed to find the courage to ask. Serious topics scared him now. He was happier in his comfort zone.

“Do not be so rude to him.”, she was dressed in a white nightgown and a navy robe, leaning to the balcony rails, looking at the view without any expression on her face. "I care for him, Garth.", which was something, he believed but still, he enjoyed neither the secrecy nor the possible motivation of the man.

She wasn’t always like this before. It would be a miracle to see her awake in such early hours. She would usually wake up around lunchtime. She would always dress up and always would be full of energy, expressions, and excitement. She used to read so many books, she had so many ideas and thoughts and ideals, emotions, she loved riding horses, she loved animals in general, she loved fashion and gossip and speaking to people. She still had those hobbies and likes but not many people to share them with.

“Father wants to see you.”, he never discussed that man with her and he was not going to start doing so now. “He sent word with Baelor.”, Garth always suspected, since the beginning, that Baelor was perfectly aware of what was going on between their sister and Leo but he never said something out loud. There weren't many things that managed to remain as secrets in this family so he figured that just like him, Baelor too had no idea how to react or what to say and found comfort in chosen blindness. His not coming to Alysanne directly but sending Garth to fetch him was an indication of the rightness of his suspicion. “You should not make him wait.”

“About the wedding?”, she scoffed. Their father only spoke to her for the past years whether it was about her betrothal. “Is it getting postponed again?”

“His recent illness is decided by the maesters, sister.”, he sighed. “His situation is terrible. Tuberclosis, apparently.”, Alysanne turned to him with widened eyes. A real sign of emotion that was so rare to get from her these days. “Baelor told him that he does not think it would be wise to continue with the betrothal.”

He saw the way that she almost smiled and he could not help but pity her. At least she still had the decency to try to surpass it. “So it is broken now? I am not promised to him?”

He wished that he could share her genuine happiness -not because Arthur was a bad man but because it had been so long, since seeing her this happy but the tense and rather frustrated look on Baelor’s face answered his unasked question and he had no idea how to tell her that.

But then again, it was not his duty to inform her, no?

“Father awaits you.”, he only managed to say and saw Alysanne having a hard time trying not to smile.

“Bring the maids in here and put everything that came from the betrothal party into chests, gifts and the alike.”, there was the excitement that he missed. “I shall send them back -or perhaps donate them, I do not know. I just don’t want them here.”, she ran her hands through her messy hair. “I have to get dressed.”, she realized that she still was in her robe. “I should not make father wait if he is going to give me such joyful news.”

The only thing that Garth could do was fake a smile and remain on the balcony, pressing his hands to his face, waiting for her to return back.

*

“Father,”, she made a simple curtsy. “did you wish to see me?”

He was pacing in his room when she entered and turned his head away when his eyes fell on her. He was having a hard time looking at people’s eyes these days, especially his children. He was, in his mind, tossing away the blame and was refusing to take responsibility for all that had happened but knew in his heart that the only person that was guilty was him and all his children hated him for that but he was too weak to end this challenge and actually utter an apology.

“You do know that your and your siblings’ happiness is so very important to me.”, Alysanne said nothing, Leyton understood more than he would want from her silence. “And that I would do anything to ensure it.”, silence filled his ears once again. “I received some news the other day and finally made a decision regarding it.”, he took a deep breath, this was going to crush Alysanne, he knew. “Ser Arthur Ambrose sadly fell ill with tuberculosis. I will make sure that he will get the treatment he needs and I have no doubts that he will heal in time.”

“May the Gods be with him.”, she uttered. “Do not feel sorry for me, father. It seems that this is my destiny.”, she pressed her lips together in order not to laugh in happiness. “I will obey to your order.”, was there truly a need for such games?

She was not sure anymore. She was not like her siblings and was always more than direct with their father but all that had happened caused her not to trust him anymore. She did not know how to interact with him without using the art of subtlety. He was her lord, not her father.

“In the light of all this, I have reached a decision.”, he took a deep breath. “I have decided to,”, he weighed his options once more. If he allowed the betrothal to continue and marry them in haste the moment the boy got healed, then Alysanne perhaps would live the life of a widow but she would, no doubt, be safe but if he would cancel it… He was not going to live forever and he did not trust Baelor with the fate of his siblings. He was, after all, raised by Lucerys in Driftmark and he was not going to be there to see just how much loyalty he had for them. It was his duty to assure her future and he was going to do that and choose the safest option. “postpone the wedding until he heals.”, he straightened his spine and Alysanne’s smile slowly died. “And once that happens, I will throw you the greatest wedding ever. You do not need to worry. Trust me.”

The silence was deafening until she started to speak. “I don’t.”, he turned to her with a deep frown, he did not understand what she meant. “I don’t trust you.”, she wasn’t looking at him. She was pale and seemed disgusted. “You chain me to an ill man, to a dead man.”, she felt like she was going to throw up. “What did I do to deserve this?”

“Alys-“, he was speechless. This was not the reaction he was expecting. “I do not want you to think that I am being unfair or that I am making a rush decision. Ser Arthur of course will heal-“

“And then he will fall ill again with Gods knows what this time and then again and again and again!”, she looked at him with widened eyes that were filled with horror. “It was an insult for you to keep me betrothed to him for this long but this, father? You are writing my death warrant so tell me, what did I do to deserve this?”

“You exaggerate.”, he did not want to continue to speak so instead he waved her off. “You are not going to be close to him until I make sure that he is completely healed, Alysanne. Your worries are just worries.”

"Father, I do not want this.", out of all his children, she was the only one who still felt comfortable enough to be honest with him. "Find another. Not him.", she did want to marry, she never had problems with that concept but from day one, she found it extremely hard to get used to the idea of a marriage with Arthur. "Surely you can do better. We are returning back to-"

"We aren't returning back to anything, Alysanne.", he interrupted her with a stern look on his face. "We just were lucky enough to find a couple of trade deals that allowed us to regain some of our assets in Braavos but compared even to the most minor house in this realm, they mean nothing.", she blinked in confusion -what was that supposed to mean?

"But you said-", there were many celebrations, feasts and alike in the recent moons. With the fall of the Sealord, they were back in the king's favour and they were becoming a formidable force in Essos again so they were returning back to the heart of the society. People were not ignoring them anymore out of fear of a possible scandal.

Was that all a lie?

"I lied.", he deadpanned. Since she was the only one who was honest, she deserved to hear some of the truths herself. "Helion ruined all our assets in Braavos. All of the foreign investors are facing with total ruin in the wake of it. The new Sealord is granting deals left and right but he is doing so we can rebuild their lands and banks and mines for them. We are not going to gain anything for at least a decade and even if we do afterwards, our share will be so much less than before. Their new laws basically prohibit anyone who is not a Braavos from rising. The Bank of Oldtown will never be able to race with the Bank of Ironborn again."

She didn't know what to think or feel. They were living in a lie for moons now but why? "But the people...", she couldn't even finish her line. People were thinking that House Hightower was rising again and they were investing in their bank. How come her father would be able to pay them back if there were no profits?

"How long do you think I will be able to provide this family and this city with the richness you all are accustomed to?", his hair was filled with many grey strains and his words now started to make sense because it never felt quite right, him literally placing every burden on Baelor just to take all back and claim it was him who was relentlessly trying to fix everything since the beginning. He was not trying to diminish Baelor's efforts, it wasn't jealousy. He was just trying to protect him. "I am rich but not that rich.", he shook his head. "I have many children, twenty thousand soldiers to feed and arm and half a million people to take care of, Alysanne and for the past half a decade, I was just spending the gold in our reserves, earning nothing in return.", the more he spoke, the more relieved he felt and the more aged Alysanne has become. "I need these investments."

"You are conning people!", she said in shock, could not believe her father's nonchalance. Ambrose's illness was contagious, he was conning people and she, even though failed to see clearly, was a bridge, a pawn between these two things. "They are not investing in anything, no, father? They give you their gold and you just take it and spend it. This is a crime!", he would be thrown to the black cells without a trial if this would become known and their house would lose everything. How come he failed to see this? "The king would exile you!"

"The king is a fool.", he spat. "And do not talk to me as if I am a criminal, Alysanne, I am your father and everything I do, I do it for the people I am sworn to-"

"We are in this situation, we lost everything, because of your mistakes!", the embarrassment and the agitation caused her eyes to burn. Her father was a good man, a great man. Yes, the recent years were not easy on him but... "Mace invested in the bank.", she said with a sudden realization. "This would be the end of Alerie's marriage.", her next words came as a whisper. Yes, they were not as close as they used to be and Alerie did the best she could in order to put some distance between her and the Hightower name but still, she would not want to see her hurt and ashamed. 

"I told him not to.", he spoke in such coldness, he was so calm, so indifferent... "The Amrboses do not ask for any dowry.", he then continued with the same demeanour. It was so different than when she first entered, speaking of her happiness and such when in truth, he was basically selling her to cover yet another mistake of his. "They are ready to turn their heads away from any scandal and rumour-"

"Because they would find no other fool to marry their sick son with.", she was not going to cry, no. She defended him all these years, even against their siblings when she had to and this was the return she got? "You are sacrificing me in order to cover your own mistakes."

"You need to marry, Alysanne.", there were no expressions on his face. It hardly felt like she was speaking to her father, the man who raised her. He was the Lord of Oldtown now and soon enough, the doom of it. "I cannot deal with your dowry on top of everything but still, I am willing to wait until he heals, again."

"You are sacrificing me.", she repeated herself, as if she was a lamb.

"We all must do what we must do in order to keep this family intact.", he shrugged. "You were given everything your entire life. You had the best education, the best fabrics, the best food, anything you ever wanted.", he straightened his back. "Now, it is time for you to pay it back."

He really was sacrificing her.

*

290 AC, King’s Landing

They were eating in silence. It was rare that she accepted her invitation for supper and it was rarer that they ate together without Rhaegar. They did not have much to talk about these days, at least he was providing a decent distraction. Both had much to say about him and to him because no matter what, he still made questionable decisions and choices about a lot of things. But remove him from the equation and they were like two strangers -which was sad, the least. They were friends once before, good ones but too much water under the bridge and now neither had the means to mend the broken fence anymore.

Still, it was Elia who spoke first.

“Rhaegar is worried about you.”

“I think using him as a bridge to connect is more pathetic than eating in silence.”, Atera said without even looking at her, continued to eat, unbothered but Elia, honestly, had enough of this. Atera always said; they did not have to like each other but they were a family now. They had to act like it.

“I do not know how else to interact with you.”, other than two maids, two surprisingly trustable maids, they were alone in Elia’s private chambers, sitting on the floor. “You shut us down and then suddenly decide to befriend everyone else. Your appetite for friends may have changed but I am also your-“

“Queen?”, she raised her head and looked at her with an uncaring expression. “Forgive me your grace but-“

“Sister.”, she deadpanned. “I am your sister by marriage.”, and to that, Atera had nothing to say so she lowered her eyes back to her plate and continued to eat her food. “I have received petitions for noble marriages the other day and I have been meaning to speak with you about it.”

“I know Jon’s name is not on that list but I can assure you that soon enough, it will-“

“Lady Alea Yelshire is betrothed.”, she knew that she needed to tell her this the moment she had seen it but did not quite know how to put it into words. But other than a momentary freeze, Atera did not give any other reactions. “To a man named Benedict Oldflowers -the Knight of the Flower Hall.”, again, there was no response. “He is from the Reach, obviously. Not so old, I’m told -younger than us, than her, even. I mean people say that his knighthood is brought and that he does not bear much richness but it seems like a good match, an appropriate match.”

“I am assuming that you expect me to say something.”, her loss of appetite speaks louder than she ever could though so she just leaned to her back, put down her fork and looked at Elia with pressed lips. “What?”

“You were friends, Atera and now she is marrying, assumingly, the first man she found and without telling you. Don’t you truly have nothing to say about that?”, Atera shook her head. “You cared so much more for Lady Jast’s broken bracelet and you have nothing to say about this, truly?”

“Alea is an adult.”, she shrugged. “Oldflowers is, in fact, a house that has a good reputation and a code of honour and while yes, they are not that rich indeed, she still has enough gold to fend for herself for the rest of her life, Elia. There is nothing to say about that.”

“But there were things to say about Lady Jast’s-“

“-Lady Jast’s broken bracelet, yet.”, they bickered. “Its sapphire was just too beautiful for it to get ruined.”, she snapped and turned her head away. “And there was something about it.”

“What, pray tell?”, Elia raised her voice. Of course, she did not believe that there was something more in the sapphire and normally, Atera would left the question unanswered but this was a matter that truly bothered her.

“It seemed familiar.”, she was playing with her fingers with narrowed eyes, thinking. “I saw Jon wearing one too. Attached to a ribbon-like-thing-“

“The ribbon brooch that he wears on his vest, yes.”, of course,e she noticed. Jon was not a man who wore jewels. Not even his chains had something other than gold or silver. “I find it odd too but-“

“Well the sapphire of Lady Jast reminded me of Jon’s and how peculiar I actually find it and that made me wonder because other than Jon wearing a jewel, why would I find the situation weird?”, she tried to explain her thought process. “And then I realised that it has nothing to do with Jon -well, it does but not in the way-“, she squeezed her eyes and shook her head again, she was talking nonsense. “Forget Lady Jast.”, she waved it off. “The sapphire that Jon wears -I have seen it before.”, she turned back to Elia. “But on whom, I cannot remember.”

“…isn’t it just a sapphire?”, yes, some were in a darker shade or lighter and yes, sometimes the way that they were cut changed but a sapphire was a sapphire. What was so special about that one that caused her interest?

“It doesn’t feel like it.”, her tongue hit the roof of her mouth. “I have seen it before, on somewhere, on someone…”

“Well,”, Elia frowned, she too stopped eating. “it’s not like Jon would accept gifts or something from just anyone. Can’t it be Rhaegar-“, before she managed to her own sentence, she grimaced. It was more likely that the jewel was a gift from Lord Stark than of Rhaegar. Those were just pretending to be friends so in a way, she and Atera were not that terrible. At least they accepted what they were -wasn’t this the supposed first step of fixing a problem? “Well,”, she cleared her throat. “I always assumed that he just bought for himself.”, Atera raised an eyebrow because that didn’t make any sense. “He was in Essos for a long time, no? And men there wear jewels as much as women do-“

“Men here also wear jewels as much as women do.”, she corrected her. “I have less simple necklaces than of Rhaegar’s chains.”, Elia snorted at that because yes, that was, in fact, correct. While never the one who would spend on clothes and accessories as much as Atera does, Rhaegar was drawn to such luxuries too.

They all remembered his full-ruby armour.

“Can’t it be a token of one of their so-secret-that-everyone-knows adventures?”

No one actually knew what they did in Essos, only that Jon being named Hand caused so much backlash from there because apparently, he singlehandedly started and ended wars there -though truth be told, no one believed that and Jon only said that they were exaggerating matters so Rhaegar did not put much thought into it.

“Can be.”, she shrugged again. “Can’t be. Who knows? But it does look familiar and it is driving me insane, not knowing.”

“Understandable.”, they had all been there. “Though this is not quite the answer to my question.”, this was the first friendly talk they had over the years so perhaps she should’ve continued with this topic but it would have been easy and she was tired of keeping things easy. “Why do you not care about Alea?”

“I do care about her.”, she reached for her wine, and spit it out when she realized it was the Dornish Red and Elia’s eye twitched momentarily. “But I do not control her.”, she grimaced as if she was going to throw up and snapped her fingers. “Water.”

“You are such a child.”, Elia said with great annoyance but Atera did not care. “Fine, what of Alysanne Hightower?”

Atera almost choked on her water but she managed to contain it with a few coughs. The maids and Elia looked at her with worry. “I am fine.”, she declared, reaching for a napkin. “I am perfectly fine.”, the realization had such effects on people, unfortunately. “What of Alysanne?”

“Lord Hightower made a demand of delaying her and Ser Arthur’s wedding, again.”

“Why for this time?”

“Tuberculosis.”, it was one disease after the other. “Poor girl.”

“I do not know what Leyton is trying to do.”, she sighed. “Or how can he be too blind to see that he is destroying his own family.”, she tilted her head. “Although his misfortune can be my fortune…”

“Atera,”, Elia frowned again. “please do not tell me that you are thinking what I am thinking.”

Atera, for a fact, knew that she was not because Elia never met with Meredyth Crane, Alysanne’s mother so she could not know her great love for sapphires and her infamous sapphire necklace that Alysanne literally, physically, had to fight to inherit and Elia, most definitely, could not know that it was the same sapphire that Jon was carrying around and Elia could not know that she knew of this, that she recognized the gemstone was because that necklace belonged to her mother first.

And since Elia could not know any of these, she could not also know that Alysanne giving the gemstone to Jon and Jon carrying it around was not just weird but a weakness on both their parts and while she could and would know and definitely knew that Atera was good at exploiting such weaknesses but she could not know exactly that this would be the match that she would go for because she knew Jon so well that he would literally choose to marry than to explain her why he was carrying that stone around.

So no, she wasn’t thinking what Elia was thinking and she was smiling only because the victory was visible for the first time ever since she started this quest, not because she was thinking what Elia was thinking.

*

“…she said that you agree.”, Jon said with a small frown, lips pursed like a needle. “That you wish it too, Rhaegar. You cannot exclude yourself from the narrative anymore.”

They were having supper together and the topic eventually came down to his marriage -as it always did these days. However, he had to admit that Rhaegar always refrained himself from speaking about it. He had no interest in getting involved with this situation, for more than one reason and he knew that supporting a side would only cause him to earn the ire of the other and right now, this was not a luxury that he could afford. After everything that went down, he and Atera have been getting along almost perfectly and Jon was starting to adjust back. Of course, things would never be like they once used to but neither of them liked dwelling in the past. Jon said what he thought and felt, Rhaegar said what he thought and felt, and they decided that they reached an impasse and simply chose not to address the issue further and pretend nothing had happened. Was it healthy? No, not even Jon would claim that but this was how things happened in Westeros for too long now and they could break one harmful tradition in a year.

“I did not say that I wish it.”, he defended himself. “I said that of course I would wish you to be happy and she understood whatever she wanted from it.”, he was being a little … coward-like, he was aware because he knew what he meant by that comment, he knew what Atera would understand and what Jon thought about it now. Still, he was not going to accept it out loud. “You know that she is obsessed with it.”

“And I do not understand why.”, he raised his voice. “Why it concerns her, my marital status?”

It was odder than both could explain because, in the past year, Atera completely pulled herself from politics. She did not join the council meetings anymore, she did not ask them questions, she refused to listen when they went to her and she even stopped helping them with whatever problem. She did not accept to become the regent when the rebellion started and Rhaegar left, she did nothing to turn the wind to their favour, she did not help with the strategy, she did not open her mouth when it came to punishments and she did not even acknowledge that it happened if she was not pressing Jon to find a wife. It was …unsettling. For the first time since they met, she was actively doing nothing other than pressing Jon to get married.

“Jon you almost died.”, he cleared his throat. He did not like to speak of it and Jon liked it even less but that was the truth. The circumstances he became the Hand were too much for Jon to make peace with but a rebellion starting right after, again, was the last straw. He did spiral a lot -enough to make Rhaegar leave the capital and go to Pyke, and he did risk his life and almost died as a result but did manage to kill Balon Greyjoy before that. It was a miracle that he managed to survive and the way people perceived him, changed drastically. “She never left your side, not even for a moment.”, Jon was uncomfortable now. He heard that before, Elia told him when she went to visit him after he woke up -Atera never did, and he had no idea what to feel about it back then just as he had no idea now. “She thinks that…”, he cleared his throat again and reached for his wine, took a deep sip from it. “Do you know why I didn’t fight in that rebellion? Or why I chose not to return back to the capital when I heard what was happening in the Marchers?”

“You were trying to prove something.”, he shrugged, remembered that he said so himself all those years ago, back at Riverrun. “If you would stop your journey halfway and return, people would think that you cared about Arthur more than your realm and all that work would go to waste and during the Ironborn Rebellion, you did not fight because you finally understood how important your life is and that it does not belong to you.”, kings belonged to their people and were bound to their crown, throne and realm. He had no control over his safety and it took some time but Jon truly believed that he accepted it. “You are a king, not a soldier.”

“I didn’t fight in them because I made a promise to Elia.”, he said with a small smile. “Of course, almost a decade passed since and it was given for the Trident and I obviously did not keep it, but…”, Jon wondered if he realized that he subconsciously held his ribcage. He was always doing that, as if it was a reflex, anytime someone mentioned Robert or the Baratheons, or the Stormlands or anything going bad in the realm or about rebellions. In case he was not aware of it, Jon did not want to tell him but he knew that he was battling with nightmares even still. Jon had none of them. “I almost died and it changed me.”, he was trying to say something but Jon was not sure if he understood. “I am not a coward and I did want to fight in both rebellions because it was my people that they were hurting and this is my rule to defend and it was the hardest thing to do, restraining myself but I did so because I promised my wife.”

“Because their lives depend on you.”, Jon said as if he needed to say it. “Your reign is still so new and the realm is not fully stable. It will take yet another decade and as long as Aegon is married with a son, you are not exactly allowed to die. Otherwise, your wife and children would follow you shortly.”, Rhaegar’s mouth parted a little. “And so would we. It was a great relief for us all that you, for once, chose to use common sense.”

“That was- that is- not-“, he blinked and blinked but then decided to say nothing, shook his head and changed the topic with a frown. “Arthur chose not to fight either.”, he was trying to make a point. Jon was not a fool, he understood that much. He just didn’t know what the point was supposed to be. “He did lead his men, he did participate in the strategy but he did not fight.”

“Because he is not getting any younger and his injuries are-“

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”, Rhaegar leaned to his back and rubbed his face. Of course, he was always close with his friends and relaxed next to them but ever since Jon returned, he met with a different side of Rhaegar -a side that was not always so tense and timid. He was happy for him though it was a bit hard to adjust to it. “Arthur spent his entire life trying to become a soldier. This was his life’s purpose, his dream and now, he put down the Dawn. He swore not to pick it up again to war, only to protect. You cannot tell me that you do not understand how hard this is for him.”

“Of course I don’t.”, and he meant it. Not fighting was so out of character for him, but Jon did not understand what it had anything to do with him.

“And he chose not to do that, he chose to change his entire character because of Vorian -and Atera.”, he looked at him with expectance, but Jon still failed to make a sense out of this conversation. “He allowed his pride to win both at Starfall and at the Marchers, he almost died three-times but he doesn’t want his son to grow up without a father, he doesn’t want to leave things unresolved with Atera so he is trying to change and this is what Atera wants you to do.”, he finally said what he was trying to say but Jon only got more confused. “She doesn’t want you to fade away, Jon.”, he said with a more serious tone now and there was a hint of sadness in his indigo eyes. “And neither do we. She thinks that a wife and a child will achieve this.”

“A wife?”, he raised his eyebrows high. “A woman will achieve this? And a child? I do not know what she thinks but-“

“-But I know that she tried her chance with men first.”, Jon opened his mouth to say something but had no idea what so he closed it again. This was a topic that they spoke about once and never again. “You refused that too but I believe the emphasis here is not on the wife but the child. An heir, a legacy to leave. She thinks that you have no care for yourself but if you would have a son, or a daughter, things would be different.”

“Weird.”, he commented dryly. “She is usually smarter than that -even when she is trying that she is not.”

“Look,”, Rhaegar leaned to the table after a moment of silence. “I am not going to be involved with this. I told so to Atera too. This is your life, you can do whatever you want to do and she has absolutely no right to meddle and this worry…”, he shook his head. “She has not been herself for a while now, Jon, you know it. She is withdrawing to her shell more and more and I truly do not know what to do -Elia is more clueless than and I do worry about her.”, she was quieter now, more …lady-like. It was worrisome, really. “But I also worry about you.”, he made it clear. “Your actions during the rebellion were stupidly, unnecessarily, recklessly idiotic and this is not like you.”

“You are not my mother-“

“And I worry about you.”, he repeated himself more firmly this time. “Do I think a wife and a child will help you? Gods no. But do I think that you need help?”, he tilted his head and leaned to his back.

“I play your stupid game, I rule your stupid council, I wear your stupid pin.”, he spoke without looking at him. “What more do you want from me?”

“I want you to return back to life, Jon.”, he said sharply. It wasn’t only the past that they weren’t talking about but also the present and the future. They were ‘friends’ that did speak about nothing but the politics and the state of the children, Elia and occasionally Atera. This was Jon’s unsaid condition but Rhaegar couldn’t stop himself. “We all did -except you and Atera.”

“But you do not try to marry her off.”

“Nor do I try to marry you off.”, he said calmly.

“If I would marry-“, he sighed. “I laid with a woman before but you know that I have no desire for them.”, he shook his head. “Nor for men.”, he did have an affair with Richard because they were friends and he trusted him and he did love Rhaegar once but that was it. He did not desire anyone in that way. “And people talk.”

“People talk all the time about everything and everyone.”

“Yes but they will talk more if I get married.”, this was the first time they spoke about this in years and Jon really wanted him to understand. “I do not care about it,”, and he truly didn’t. “but what about the woman that I marry? If we have a child, people will whisper that it is not mine. If we do not have a child, people will whisper that I waste her life. It will cause nothing more than a headache, the entire situation.”

“I will speak with Atera, then.”, even though he did not actually think that he'd succeed. If there was one thing about Atera that didn't change was her ignoring his words and orders. "I will tell her to stop."

“Don’t.”, he rubbed his face with exhaustion. It was foul for her to play the king card, he was not going to do the same. “I am a grown man, am I not? Surely I can win against her.”

*

290 AC, Oldtown

Two weeks later…

“Jon Connington?”, Baelor raised his eyebrows. “He made an official proposal? Doesn’t he know that you didn’t break off the betrothal with Ambroses?”

“I am as clueless as you are.”, Leyton muttered as he read the letter for the hundredth time. He knew that it was Connington’s handwriting and sigil and certainly his words but still, he was extremely surprised and confused. “Do you have anything to do with this?”, he questioned. This was so sudden, so unexpected.

“No.”, he shook his head. “The last time I spoke with Lord Connington was during the celebratory feasts after the Ironborn Rebellion and he did not mention Alysanne at all -nor that he was thinking of getting married.”

“You didn’t send him a letter after our last talk?”, he narrowed his eyes at him. Things were tenser than ever at Oldtown in the past fortnight. Alysanne was not leaving her chambers after their conversation and Lynesse wasn’t even bothering herself with attending to family suppers and such ever since he refused her request to marry Jorah Mormont of Bear Island. Baelor and Garth, however, were suspiciously silent during this time. He did not think that Alysanne would tell them what he told her -or that they would remain silent if they knew, so there was obviously something else going on. “I know that you are friends.”

“I wouldn’t call him a friend but yes, we have mutual respect for each other.”, was he being interrogated? “This isn’t a reason for me to send him a letter, asking him to propose to my already-betrothed sister. I was merely waiting for the Archmaester to return from Honeydew and paint us a clear picture of Arthur’s illness. I did nothing.”

“Garth?”, he questioned patiently. “It doesn’t have to be him directly. Did either of you write to the queen? You have asked for her favour before.”

“So that Leyla would not be exiled from the court.”, he reminded him. “And you left me with no choice-“

“And this time you have other choices than that?”

“I did nothing.”, he raised his voice. He was not a child anymore but a thirty-four-year-old married man with two children of his own, he was not going to be treated like this. “Nor did Garth -nor did Alysanne, if you wonder. She wrote no letters. We delivered no words in secrecy, no maid or servant aided her, father. She seems like she accepted the situation,", he narrowed his eyes with a silent accusation because both knew her well enough to know that her silence was not normal. "and Garth and I were merely waiting to present our case. We wrote to no one.”

“Not even her?”, he asked. He was refusing to utter her name as if it was her, who was guilty. Baelor had a lot of things to say about that too but instead only bit his tongue and shook his head. “It is most undignified, this letter!”, he shook it with frustration and truth be told, Baelor did agree to him. Proposing to a betrothed woman was incomprehensible and it was not something that a man like Jon Connington would do. “It is not only insulting and disrespectful but also tactless and tasteless! A man in his position should know better.”, and neither doubted that he indeed knew better so Leyton continued to suspect his children while Baelor wondered if Garth and Alysanne did something behind his back. “I will write to him at once-“

“Perhaps you shouldn’t.”, he scratched his hair. Perhaps he should’ve remained quiet and not raised any more doubts and questions but he had to be reasonable. “The Archmaester will be here soon, father. Let us hear about Arthur’s state and then-“

“And then what?”, he scowled at him. “Congratulate him for his insolence and give your sister to him?”

“My sister is not a furniture, a vase adorned with flowers, as you know well.”, he judged him. “She already thinks that you do not love her and do not care for her. Perhaps give her a chance to-“

"I have spoken to her and heard no objections ever since.", he almost dared him to speak. They always had a strained relationship but these days, it was truly hard for Baelor to even look at him.

“When was the last time Alerie wrote to you?”, he closed his eyes, sighed and spoke softly. From the way Leyton froze immediately, he understood that his strategy was right. He managed to do so little, regarding Leyla but for Alysanne, he was going to fight. “When was the last time you saw Leyla or spoke with Lynesse?”

“You speak out of turn.”, he warned him silently. “Do not be insolent, Baelor."

“Denyse did not want you to walk her down the aisle.”, he continued nevertheless. “If you continue to behave this way, you will lose Alysanne too, father. Is it worth it?”

“I have given you all endless love and approval. If you want to-“

“A gilded cage is still a cage, no?”, Leyton said nothing. “Once upon a time, these halls were filled with light and laughter, love and at least mutual respect. Windows are close now and Garth is the only one amongst us who is comfortable with the shadows, father but it still isn’t too late. You still have time and Alysanne is right here, the opportunity to make things right is right here.”, he pressed with hope. Their relationship was beyond salvation but Alysanne did not have to lose her father the way he did. “Hear the Archmaester and then hear Alysanne, please.”

"Alysanne consented to the marriage.", he said with an iron tone. "I will not hear a word about this."

“You like Connington.”, he shook his head. “And so do I and he is a match worth thousands fold more than Ambrose.”

“My word still means something.”, he clenched his jaw. “I promised her hand to Arthur Ambrose and I have stood by this decision for half a decade. I do not care what the Archmaester is going to say. I do not care when or if he will heal, Baelor. Alysanne is going to marry him.”

“If the worth of your word is more important than your own daughter, then why did you lessen it yourself?”, he asked, pressed his lips together with exhaustion.

For years, his father chose to remain inside his chambers and act like a man who was worth nothing and their house returned to the position of being worthy of the Hand of the King just because of his efforts and because the crown gave them another chance. He no longer get to act like he is high and mighty. He needed to accept that.

"When you become the Lord of Oldtown, you will learn from my mistakes then.", how pathetic he had to be to see his own son as a challenge? "Alas, it is not today and I continue to make decisions regarding this family. Alysanne will marry Arthur Ambrose. I'll not have her make the same mistakes as yours."

*

“Sister,”, he was sitting on the couch as she lay on his knees. She was not crying but also was not speaking and all that he could do was caress her hair. “tell me what you want and I’ll try to make it happen.”, ‘try to’ was the key here. Their father was beyond reason so there was no guarantee that he’d succeed and on the contrary, both knew that he’d fail but at least he’d try. She was not alone.

“I want the world to go away.”, she was not blinking, her tired eyes were focused on the wall and she was speaking as if her soul was sucked from her body. “I want to leave this tower, this city. I want to be as free as the birds.”, she closed her eyes. “I want to throw myself from the highest balcony into the sea.”

“Do not say such things.”, he said immediately. A terrible fear covered him. “Do not ever say such things, Alysanne.”

“I want the sea to take me away.”, she did not care and his hand froze on her hair. All of his bad memories, that feeling of dread spread.

“I know that feeling well.”, it has been a long time, years, since he last spoke of this. He did not want to. Time did not help, talking did not help so he kept all his feelings to himself. No one could ever understand him so he did not even try. “I too wanted to throw myself, I too wanted the see to carry me away when I lost D-“, he closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. In his dreams, he had seen him every night but when awake, he did not remember when was the last time he uttered his name. He forgot the way it sounded. “Daven.”, but he owed to him and to himself and to what they had. With that, Alysanne opened her eyes and switched to sitting. “I lost my love, I lost my battle, I had no reason to live.”

“I am sorry.”, she held his hand and pulled him into a hug. “I am being selfish, brother, please forgive me. I did not want to resurface those memories.”

“They never go away.”, he sighed. “The memories, the feeling… It is always here, at the back of my mind but I fight against it every single day.”, Alysanne held him tighter. “He wouldn’t want that.”

“No, no he wouldn’t. Daven loved you. He might even kill you himself if you dare to unite with him sooner than you should.”, she tried to joke but all they could do was to let out a pathetic snort and then Garth pulled back and wiped his eyes. He did not want to continue to speak about it and Alysanne knew that.

“And for that, I live.”, he assured her. “And if I do so, then I expect you will do it as well.”, she turned her head away and Garth narrowed his eyes. “What did father say to you, Alysanne? What happened? Why are you like this?”

“Can I start with any question?”, once again she tried to joke but Garth was too serious. “You know what happened. Father will not break off the betrothal and I will have to marry a man who is constantly sick. Either I will become a widow in a very short time or I will follow him to the grave due to the same illness, Garth. Isn’t this enough of a reason for me to be depressed?”

“No.”, he huffed. “Alysanne I know would make father’s entire world collapse on himself before she would simply accept her fate and mourn. I have been thinking for the past days, trying to figure out what could father possibly say to you to take your energy and fight away but all I have is a blank page so tell me.”, he insisted. “What is going on, Alys?”

“I want to tell you.”, she really did. “But I cannot.”, they did not have to feel this burden too. If this match would give their father at least a little time to cover his tracks better, then she was going to grit her teeth, bite her tongue and endure. Nobody had to know. Nobody had to suffer with her. “Let’s just say that he made me open my eyes.”, to the horrible truth that her father was just like everyone else. “And what will I do other than marry him anyway? Rot here for the rest of my life?”

“I will rot here for the rest of my life.”, he tilted his head. “And so will Malora -and Baelor. It’s not like Rhonda will take him back.”

“Rhonda can rot in the seventh hell for all I care.”, she grimaced. She didn’t like her that much before and she definitely loathed her after everything she had done to their eldest brother. Baelor was not perfect but he did not deserve any of these. “But if I continue to remain in this tower a little longer, then I will completely lose my mind and go insane, brother.”, she stood up. “I cannot endure it any longer. Everything is too much. Everyone is two-faced and too fake and if I get married, at least I will be in charge of my own household. At least I will be free, a little.”

“Ambrose’s parents are still alive and they are in charge of Honeydew.”, he reminded her. “You are not going to find the freedom you want there. And if you return here as a widow, your life will be harder because this time you are going to be proposed not by young and handsome lords of our age but by elders, with men who are old enough to be our grandfather, Alys, by men who have sons older than you. Neither of these parts will give you what you want -if it really is freedom and you are not just desperate to leave us, just like Leyla.”

“Do not compare me to her.”, she snarled as she turned to him with a scowl and while still not in a good mood, Garth chuckled. He was underestimating the growing tension between the sisters, the ever-increasing animosity but Alysanne had no patience to explain it to him. “What choice is there for me, Garth?”, she demanded while trying to remain calm.

It was not Garth’s fault that their father was a horrible man, it was not Garth’s fault that he burdened her with his crime just so she would not protest while being sold away and it was not Garth’s fault that she chose to spare him from the ugly truth. He did not deserve to be yelled at but she also had no tolerance for his and Baelor’s talks of ‘this is not like you’. She knew that this was not like her but what fucking else she could do?

Garth simply leaned back to the couch. “A rider arrived from the capital earlier this morning.”, their father didn’t know that Garth knew that and it would be for the best of all of them if he just did not tell her but he hated seeing her being wasted away. He was suffering enough for a life that he could not live. He did not want Alysanne to follow his path. “A letter.”, he caught her interest. “Sent by the Lord Hand.”

“So what?”, she shook her head as a question. What was she supposed to understand from this? “Stop being cryptic, brother.”

“I went to riding at dawn so when I returned, everyone was still sleeping so,”, he didn’t even know why he did that. It just felt right. “nobody could protest when I took the letter from him. It was not specified to be given to father, after all, and the last time I checked, I was a Hightower too.”

“More of a curse than a blessing these days, our name, but go on.”, intrigued, she sat back to the couch.

“He has heard about Ambrose’s situation and he is terribly sorry for it.”, he could end it here, he did not have to continue but what sort of a brother would he be if he let his sister to be chained by a sick man just because of their father’s arrogance? “Alas, he believes, since the betrothal cannot take place under these circumstances, that it would be appropriate for him to come up with his proposal.”, he expected shock or excitement -or perhaps anger but all Alysanne did was continue to look at him with confusion so he took a deep breath and made it clear. “For your hand.”

“…what?”, in the most unladylike, unmannered, undignified way, she asked.

“Exactly.”, he mused. “I assume this will be father’s reaction too, when he reads the letter.”

*

290 AC, King’s Landing

“How weird it is that no one blames me for Ambrose’s illness?”, Atera said as she bent a little to smell the roses. The Queen's gardens were filled with them -she wasn't sure if it was because they were Elia's favourite flowers or because the farmers were highly uninspired. "By now, someone should've come forth and declare that I did not suggest Alysanne in the first place because I had to wait for the poison to show its signs or something.", she muttered, reached for one of the roses.

“It is a nice change indeed.”, Oswell mused. "And a great coincidence.", Atera sent him a playful look. "But I believe people are more busy with the idea of Lord Connington getting married more than who is responsible for the match, your grace.", it was still weird for them both, to refer to her with a royal title but they were in public, her ladies were around, he needed to obey to the courtly etiquette. He sent a look to the women and took a step closer to her. "You never told me how you managed to convince him."

“…and as such,”, Jon said with the glimmer of victory in his eyes. “I am not going to marry.”

“What if I order you?”, she asked nonchalantly, without even taking her eyes off of the embroidery she was making -Jon was shocked to see it when he entered her chambers but truth be told, was afraid to ask and right now, he had other matters to focus on; like his shock.

“You cannot-“, he began to speak but words failed to come out of his mouth. “No-“, he was blinking feverishly, shaking his head in confusion. “But-“, Atera was a princess, the former queen, the king’s sister and while he held the second most important office in the realm, due to Aegon not being named properly as the Prince of Dragonstone, he still was nothing more than a mere noble and she, a royal. If she would give him an order, he would have no other choice than to obey it. He just never thought that she would. “Would you really?”, disappointment rose in him. “Really, Atera?”

“I could.”, her movements stopped and she raised her head at last, the weak smile on her face faded and left its place to sadness. “I have the power of it now, no? And I would not regret it, I would not know how to. There are no mirrors here.”, she was more hurt than he thought but he did not actually want to believe that she would harm what was left of their friendship like this, that she would ruin it, destroy it. “But I will not.”, she bowed her head again after a moment of silence. “I do enjoy our talks too much for it, I believe. You are the only person in this court who offers me true friendship, unstained and all, and a true challenge. I would hate for our conversations to end, Jon.”

“And I would hate to marry.”, he argued back. “I thought that you, out of all people, would understand that.”

“You forget sometimes but I did marry.”, she let out a small chuckle. “I am a widow, dear. Lady Cafferen -if you’d like.”, he was unimpressed though and she finally let go of the embroidery and looked at him again. “You didn’t even ask me, what name I think.”

“Do you think that a name will change my mind, Atera? Don’t you know me at all?”

“Alysanne.”, she leaned to her back. “I’ve decided that you’ll marry Alysanne -just as I planned years ago.”

Jon blinked and blinked and once again found himself utterly speechless. “Isn’t she already married?”, there were perhaps hundreds of ladies named Alysanne in this realm but he knew who exactly she was talking about.

“Betrothed.”, she corrected him. “Been so, for the past five years. One would think if there was indeed a marriage at the end of the tunnel, then I would receive an invitation by now.”

“Do you truly think that you would be invited?”, his throat was dry and he hardly managed to think of excuses. Not that he actually wanted to marry her but given their past, he carefully needed to plot his reason for the denial. Otherwise, she would trap him like a rat.

“Trying to change the subject is so unlike you.”, she smiled at him. “He is so very ill, I am told -tuberclosis, yet certain someone,”, meaning Leyton. “is refusing to end the betrothal.”

“…and you’d have me marry with an already engaged woman? How many people will be in that marriage you think, I wonder?”

“The entire thing is absolutely absurd.”, she declared. “I do wish him a quick recovery but Arthur Ambrose cannot possibly marry Alysanne -or with someone else. Of course, I can make Rhaegar to end the betrothal. As the king, he has such power and we both know that he would enjoy ruining his plans, in fact, but then again, that too would be the easy thing and I do love winning things with my own efforts, Jon. Give the order for your men to start preparing Alysanne’s room and do not worry, I will plan the wedding myself and will not shy away from any expenses. Consider it as a wedding gift.”

“Rhaegar believes that you confuse me with him and Arthur.”, he straightened his spine. “But we both know that I am not the sort of man who will wake up one day and change his entire character and devote himself to a child and a woman, Atera. I do understand your concern, I truly do,”, he said with honesty. “but this is not the way.”

“Do you think you know what you need more than me?”, she huffed. “Do not be ridiculous.”, she waved him off.

“…did you poison the man, Atera?”, he took a step towards her and asked with a whisper. He did not think that she would actually do such a thing but asking would not hurt. She was obsessed with this matter for a very long time now.

“He has tuberculosis, Jon.”, she leaned to him and whispered the same way, clearly mocking him. “Of course, I did not poison him but this illness gives them the right to break off the engagement without getting Alysanne’s reputation sullied and as the Hand of the King, you have the power to literally prevent such a mistake.”

“This is dragging out too much.”, he rubbed his face. “There are more suitable men than I for Lady Alysanne’s hand. I’ll make you a list and will speak with Rhaegar personally to make sure that the betrothal will indeed be broken. The solution to this situation doesn't have to involve me.”

“You would do that?”, she asked with a soft frown. “Find a husband to her?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I’d like to believe that we were friends once. I would not want her to be stuck in a marriage with an ill man.”

“But you wouldn’t marry her yourself?", she said slowly, as if there was something wrong with that statement. "I really do not understand why.”

She was not an idiot, of course, she did. He had the same reasons as her, albeit a little different but her entire life, she too fought in order not to be tied to a man and it was a war that she finally won so she understood him, of course she did. He was feeling caged, like someone was choking him, as if he was a wild animal and his first instinct was to run. She respected him for not following it. She had to admit that once upon a time, she was not as strong as he was. One mention of a serious betrothal and off she was to Essos, for moons. At least all Jon did was to pout and scowl. Nevertheless, she was not going to allow her empathy to soften her. She decided that he was going to get married and she was going to achieve that.

“You really needn’t think that hard, why don’t you marry Arthur?”, he asked with a bit stern tone. They were one and the same, Atera and him and it was a shame, the way this subject has been plaguing him for weeks now.

Her entire demeanour changed with that. “It is not the same.", her not wanting to marry was similar to his reasons. Her not wanting to marry with Arthur was not.

“It is exactly the same.”, but he was not going to yield. If she was going to play it this way, so was he.

“It is not and you know it.”, she said sharply. “Alysanne did nothing to you.”

“No, she didn’t but it does not change the fact that she deserves better than I.”, he snapped back. “I only had to marry her because she was the only one of Leyton Hightower’s daughters that was at Harrenhal and I desperately needed his protection because Aerys was literally waiting for my demise, Atera. I am tired of saying this; she deserves someone who would love her -or at least someone who would not willingly use her as a human shield to save his own neck.”

“Is that all you will say about this matter?”, she asked calmly and Jon nodded firmly.

“Yes. I hope that this time you will understand.”, then he turned his back, and made his way to her door but she spoke again before he managed to leave.

“What a lovely sapphire.”, she said, looking down, eyebrows raised. This topic was not going to be solved by speaking and while this was the shortest and the easiest way to victory (therefore a way that she absolutely loathed), it seemed like it was the only way at the moment.

Jon closed his eyes with exhaustion and took a deep breath. “You said so before.”

“Oh but it really is so beautiful.”, she tilted her head. “Though I have to admit that it looked so much better on Meredyth.”, Jon’s entire body froze as he slowly turned to her, she was looking at him with a tired smile. “Do you truly believe that I wouldn’t recognize the same sapphire that Alysanne literally fought for with her nails and teeth to have?”, she tilted her head. “Denyse broke her leg and Leyla still carries the scar of it in her arm. I couldn’t possibly forget it, Jon.”

He opened his mouth and nothing came out of it. His shoulders fell in defeat. He could speak his way out of it, he had the talent but he could not explain why he was carrying this sapphire with himself all the time -he could not even explain so to himself.

“Fine.”, he said with a whisper. “I’ll write to Lord Hightower.”

“He is not as stubborn as you think he is.”, she said with a smile that she tried to surpass. "With the right words, he can be convinced just as everyone else.", his suspicious look caused her to roll her eyes. “Is it really that curious that I won, Oswell?”

“No, not really but he is grumpier than usual and the entire small council hates you for it.”, they shared the same suspicions though neither would say it out loud to the other otherwise things would become too real for their liking.

“The council hates me no matter what I do.”, she sighed. “I scarcely do care.”

"It looks like the opposite though, these days.", his tone was almost as if he was accusing her of something so she finally straightened up her spine and turned to him with raised eyebrows. "You have to admit that the way you behave is so unlike you.", when she kept looking at him, he took a step closer to her. "These gowns, these women,", he sent a look to her ladies -who were trying to hear them while pretending that they were observing the non-existent birds. "the way you talk, even the way you walk...", he could feel her defensive answer coming. "It seems like you have changed who you are completely. This matter was the only thing that reminded me of you -the real you. And for a moment I believed that winning this victory would change you the way you hope this marriage, or this woman, this match, would change Connington but now, it does not look like it."

"I have always judged Rhaegar for he was a dreamer.", he was surprised to see the way her shoulders fell with defeat. "So you can guess that realizing that I was not as different as I thought I was came with a bit of a shock."

"You?", he could not help but ask with a quite befuddled face. "A dreamer?"

"Thinking I can solve all the problems and change the world according to my vision was a dream, Oswell.", the smile that she placed on her face was so fake, so unlike her that for a moment, Oswell felt as if he just met her. He didn't know who this person was. Not anymore. "Thinking that I'd be the exception, that I can exist on the board without playing the game was a dream. Thinking,", she raised her voice a little, there was a bit of a self-frustration on her face. "that I can just refuse to be a part of the society and ignore the nobles was a dream. I am not special.", it was sad but it was the truth. "There were many people like me, in the past and there will be many people like me in the future and perhaps they will succeed but I accepted that I will not. We are all born with roles to play and it is time for me to finally embrace that."

"Atera I know would never say such things."

"Atera you knew has lost the war.", not just the battle, no, but the war itself. She could not be a good person, not with the cards that were given to her but sure as hell she could not continue to be a bad person. It was hurtful for all, including herself so at the end of the day, she decided to be just a human. With the good and with the bad and it meant, somehow, just obeying the fucking rules and she could not help but admit that it was easier to live this way. Why would she spend all her nights without any sleep when the game thought for her? "And she does not have the energy to continue to fight back."

She was once told that the game would tame everyone.

You could refuse to bend, you could refuse to play along but at the end of the day, if you would not bend eventually then the game would break you and you would just have to acknowledge the rules. She was told that it was the board, that always won. That people would go, the ideas and ideals would be forgotten and goals would fade with time, pieces would change all the time but the board, the game itself, would always stand still and tall and she finally understood what they meant by that.

"Nonsense.", he scowled. Her life has never been easy but the look of defeat in her eyes was new and it was shocking to see, it was hurtful. "I do not-"

"I do not care what you think.", she said softly and then turned back to the roses. "You can take a step back, Ser. I am more than sure that these roses would do me no harm."

*                                                                                                                         

290 AC, Oldtown

“What is the meaning of this?”, with the angry snarl, he turned to his back with a scowl and with the face he had seen, he straightened his back and quickly sent away the master-at-arms.

“Lord Costayne.”, how could he ever forget about him? “Whatever you mean?”

It was during one of the feats, that Baelor has thrown to remedy their family’s image after the fall of the Sealord, that he, and by extension Alysanne, met with this man. He was tall, not bad looking with his brown eyes and same coloured hair that was shaped attractively. He had brought shoulders, not that terrible sense of fashion and as far as the nobility could tell, good manners -though Garth would disagree because what sort of a gentleman would accept to enter the bed of a betrothed woman?

He did not judge Alysanne. It was not a match that she wanted and the wedding, ever since the first announcement of the betrothal, always seemed too far away but this man seduced her, not knowing any of these. He had no honour, as far as he was concerned and he was not going to like him in this life.

He was even forgetting his existence as long as he did not see him.

“Everybody is speaking of Lord Connington proposing to your sister!”, he spat. His face was crossed with an obvious frustration.

“And?”, he still failed to see the reason for such a conversation. House Costayne was an important house and they were sworn to them so he had to keep his patience and respect, but it was a long way down from Three Towers to Oldtown and he truly, utterly, failed to see the reason for such a journey. “I do not know how this has become public knowledge, my lord, but yes, Lord Connington did write a letter to my father.”, it became public knowledge because he made sure of that. Because Jon Connington was a far better option than widowhood or death or worse, becoming Arthur Ambrose’s wife. “But I do not see how this concerns you.”

“How this concerns me?”, he widened his eyes, sent a look around and pulled him near to a tree through his arm. Garth, if he was an animal who purely listened to his instincts, would punch him in the face for he dared to touch him but he was an adult so he managed to keep his composure. “You know how and why.”, though he did not punch him, his eyes surely gave away his violent thoughts so the man in front of him let him go, took a decent step back and cleared his throat. “Forgive me, Ser.”, he even said, looking at anywhere but him. He was sworn not to touch a sword ever again but people didn’t know this, on the contrary, people still know him as this unbeatable fighter therefore they were still intimidated by him. “I just meant that if I was made aware of your sister’s betrothal with Ser Arthur ending, then I-“

“You would what?”, he asked with an iron tone.

Leo looked at him as if he had two heads. “Then I would come with a proposal myself, Ser.”, he said as if this was obvious and fuck, yes it was obvious. He cursed himself mentally for not understanding his aim sooner and stopped him from ever uttering these words. “As you know well,”, Garth hated knowing what he exactly meant. “I am interested in a match with the Lady Alysanne. And while I am no Hand of the King, I also am not a man who promised her a wedding before and then called it all off and left the continent for years.”, and fuck, he did make sense. “I just think, given the circumstances, Lord Hightower might be more sympathetic with my case. After all, I deserve the chance first, the chance of making a proposal.”

Was that a threat?

If he would say that Alysanne’s betrothal with Arthur still was intact, then it would ruin Jon’s reputation. If he would say that it was broken, he would lie and it would not be that hard for this man to learn that because given his overly dressed look, Garth could tell that after even a remotely positive answer, he would go straightly to his father and demand Alysanne’s hand. His father, in that case, could marry Alysanne with Arthur even today, just out of spite and to teach them a lesson or he would say no to the other man and just accept to marry her with Leo -which would be extremely undesirable because while he never thought of Leo while trying to find another way to save Alysanne, neither did she and Three Towers and House Costayne was not that far away from Oldtown and the House Hightower.

“Of course you do.”, he needed to think and he needed to think fast. Appeasing him right now would make the most sense and would buy him some time. “My father surely will think about all candidates equally but I will step in and try to gain his favour on your name.”, he didn’t even know what he was saying. “But there is a time for everything.”

“What does that mean, Ser?”, he frowned. “If Lord Connington made a proposal, mind you that he did not even do so in person but just wrote a mere letter, apparently, then I can do so too.”

“Of course you can but as you said, Lord Connington declared his intentions with a letter.”, he had a feeling that he was going to pay for this lie one day. “It is not so very gentleman-like and my father is a bit cross. If you would approach him now, he might take his anger out on you.”

“Lord Hightower would do such a thing?”, he sounded like he was aware of being played because for all his faults, Leyton was known for his unusual calmness but Garth chose to say this lie and he was going to stick with it.

“You would understand it better, my lord, when you had a daughter. The ending of the betrothal was too sudden for us all and while we all pray for a quick healing for Ser Arthur, we cannot help but feel a bit conned. His situation was this dire for a long time now. We were just kept in the dark.”, understanding showed on Leo’s face. “And Lord Connington taking advantage of this situation…”, he bit his tongue. “Stay here tonight. I will arrange a meeting with my father tomorrow morning and will speak on your behalf. I would want my sister to be happy.”

“I got the feeling that you do not like me much.”

“I don’t.”, he blurted it out. “No man in my position would like you.”, at least he had the decency to look a bit ashamed. “But if your intentions are honourable and serious-“

“Of course they are.”, he straightened his shoulder. “I want to become a part of the Hightower family.”

Garth narrowed his eyes, this was not exactly an honourable reason but he had a feeling that above all, if he would give a rush reaction now, the man could literally end his sister’s reputation. It would mean another scandal for his family and a certain fate of a spinster for Alysanne. He did not want that to happen.

“Then trust me, my lord. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Ser Garth.”, feeling overly confident, the man bowed his head and signalled to his servants to find an appropriate chamber in the tower.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”, muttering to himself, he clenched his jaw and started to walk in faster steps and when he reached a point at which the servants and the guards no longer could see him, he started to run, as fast as he can, to Baelor’s chambers.

*

290 AC, King’s Landing

“Your grace?”, Richard sent a look to his sworn brother. If Finnan was here then why he was summoned? “You asked for me?”

“Get inside.”, Atera ordered with a cold tone, without looking at him. She was in her antechamber. The windows were shut closed, the light was barely entering inside, causing the room to look so dark, so nerving. “I am going to ask you a question, Richard and you are only going to say yes or no. Do you understand?”, there were no expressions on her face. Richard has never seen her like this and it made him extremely nervous.

He thought that they were friends.

"I …do, your grace.”, he hesitated, she did not like people who hesitated but for this time, she made no comments about it.

“And if you lie to me-“

“When did I ever lie to you, your grace?”, the door was closed, and there were, other than them, only Finnan and her new maid inside. He figured that she trusted the girl in Lady Alea’s absence so he felt comfortable enough to interrupt her but Atera only narrowed her eyes.

“Does Jon still drink?”

Well, apparently today was the day that he was going to start lying to her.

“No, your grace.”

“Wrong answer.”, her voice was iron. He was lying, she knew that he was lying, he knew that she knew that he was lying yet he was not going to confess otherwise.

“Your grace, pardon me but-“

“I am not going to pardon you, Richard.”, this time, she interrupted him. “I am not an idiot. I still remember his state after the rebellion-“

“Much time passed since the war.”

“Not enough.”, she snapped. “Not for him. He still relives the Bells every single day, over and over again. He just got better at hiding. Do not insult my intelligence.”

“He does not drink.”, he insisted. He did drink, of course he did and Richard knew that he needed help and that perhaps Atera could but he gave a promise to Jon. That promise, that trust was the only thing that allowed him to monitor the situation and he was not going to betray their friendship. “I do not know what made you think that but-“

“Richard.”, she looked at him with apprehension. “I can help him.”

“He does not need any help, your grace.”, he would lie to his grave but he failed to look at her eyes any longer. “Jon does not drink.”

“You are aware that he is going to marry soon?”

“Lord Hightower did not respond yet.”

“Lord Hightower will do whatever I want him to do!”, she raised her voice. Of course, she would rather die than write to Leyton but surely she could convince Elia to interfere if the answer would be negative. “And so will Jon. Tell me then, why do you think that you can be the exception?”

“I am not denying that he had a problem before but-“

“I care not for the before.”, she was feeling incredibly betrayed because why didn’t he trust that she could help? “Alysanne is not some mere lady, Richard. If Jon drinks, if he has such a problem, then she is going to fix it herself. I do not want to burden her with such a task. Tell me now and I can prevent this from escalating.”

“With all due respect,”, he was looking to the floor. “if you do not want her to know about this, then why didn’t you speak with me before you decided to the match?”, Atera’s lips pursed like a needle. “Jon does not drink. Lady Alysanne will not be bothered and if you think that he would harm her-“

“If I thought such a thing, then we wouldn’t be here, speaking anything regarding Jon because I would not care for him enough to want to help him.”, she turned her head away. “Jon cannot hide this forever.”, Richard took a deep breath. “Rhaegar will find out. Elia will find out. The council will find out and then will the nobles and then things will reach to a point in which none will be able to stop it, Richard. I just want you to know, when that day comes, that it will all be your fault.”

“If you think so, your grace.”

“You are lucky that I will never forget the kindness you showed to me back at Riverrun.”, when he found out about her pregnancy and was willing to enter to the enemy zone just to find her some moon tea, when he supported her against all odds, when he, despite his wounds, kept guard in front of her chamber just so she would be safe. “But I don’t think I will be able to stomach the sight of you for a while, Richard. You know that I have no tolerance left for liars.”

“I cannot blame you, your grace.”

“I want this marriage to work.”, she said with a solemn tone. “I want Alysanne to be happy. I want Jon to heal. If I am not allowed to help, I’ll not push it further. If you think that you are in control then be in control and prove it to me.”, she ordered. “Make things work, Richard. Then we’ll talk.”

*

290 AC, Oldtown

“…and who informed you of this, exactly?”, Leyton asked with a stone-cold face. “Are you eavesdropping again?”

“It should have been you, father, who informed me. I shouldn’t have to find out about my own marriage proposals in other ways. Were you truly going to hide this from me?”

“I did not think that it is required for you to know.”, there was no room left for argument in his voice. “You are still betrothed, Alysanne.”

“Yes, to a dying man.”, she muttered Leyton continued without commenting.

“Lord Connington clearly forgets himself but I will give it to his youth and will not insult him further by rejecting him outright. You are a respectable lady, promised to another and as your father, it is my responsibility to protect you from insults of all kinds. It is why I did not inform you about it.”

“Given all the things you said to me…”, her face got sterner. She sometimes thought that he was lying, that he was only saying things to keep the betrothal intact and that she was being unfair to him for believing his words this easily but soon enough she would come back to her senses. He had no reason to lie and even if he had, his excuse was just too elaborate and it would be easy to find if they were not true. If only he thought that she would keep it to herself and given it was precisely what she was doing… “I wonder, father, wouldn’t it be better for the future of our house, if I would have the Hand of the King as my husband?”, Leyton blinked, trying to hide his confusion. “This way, none would dare to question the leaks in your promises and even if the truth would be out, you would be protected by the crown and perhaps even you can fix the situation before the worst happens.”

“Alysanne these hardly are matters that you must be thinking about-“

“You should’ve thought of it before telling me about your crimes then.”, this shut him up. “I am only saying that if I have to marry for the sake of the family, then a match with the Hand is obviously more profitable.”

She had time to think after Garth informed her. Days went, deep in her thoughts. Did she forgive Connington for not chasing after her once the war was over? She could not say that she did but at the same time, it was a pragmatic match that was going to take only to keep him in power until Prince Rhaegar succeeded his father so was there anything to forgive, when look from that angle?

She remembered the ambitions she had. It would be a wrong claim if she said now that she didn’t have them anymore. Just because there were new reasons to accept a match so far away from her father, Oldtown and the Reach did not mean that she didn’t find the advantages of being the wife of the Hand of the King incredibly alluring. And at the end of the day; Jon Connington was a healthy man with a bright future. Even though the court was a dangerous place once upon a time, many claimed it was not so under King Rhaegar and she knew that she could be happy there, or at least find the resemblance of it. But with Arthur Ambrose?

“Alys, I gave my word to the Ambroses.”, his voice was softer than the recent years and for a moment, he looked like the father who raised her, the father she knew and loved. “It would be dishonourable to take it back now.”

“What is dishonourable is what you are doing at the moment, father.”, she said with a straight face. “If you can scheme this way and find no problem informing me about it, then there can be no problem in breaking off this betrothal.”, she took a deep breath. “I want to marry with Lord Connington.”

He was not like the other day; full of frustrations and a blind determination. On the contrary, he looked empathetic now, loving and caring. It was a sight that Alysanne had not seen in a very long time, a sight that she missed immensely.

She wanted to cry.

“Alright then.”, Leyton said, clearing his throat. “If this is what you want.”, he had an expression full of guilt on his face. “I will break off the betrothal and write to Lord Connington at once. I surmise the wedding will take place sooner rather than later. I will give the order for the preparations to start-“

“I do not want to marry here.”, she interrupted him and once he understood what she meant, the hurt was too obvious. Alas, she did not need to state her reasoning.

“Very well.”, he stood up and for a moment, she thought that he would embrace her but instead he just tied his hands behind his back. “Everything I do, I do it for you and your siblings, Alysanne and there is nothing in this world that I want more than your happiness. I hope you know this.”

Alysanne nodded to herself. “I will start packing. Garth will not come to the capital but Baelor said that he’ll join.”, Leyton let out a soft chuckle. Of course,e his sons tried to protect his daughter from him.

Of course.

*

290 AC, King’s Landing

Three weeks later…

The room was in a mess.

There were broken glasses anywhere, food that was untouched, pillows and books thrown around. The smell of alcohol was sickening and it was a miracle that he managed to sleep in his bed instead of the floor -and another miracle that one of the candles did not start a fire.

“Open the blinds.”, he ordered. “Wake him up. Now!”

He was wearing a white shirt and black pants, face was covered by pillows. “What is happening?”, he groaned, was obviously still drunk and the lights were not helping him to open his eyes and manage to see him. “Richard?”, he asked, to be sure.

“This is not your mansion, Jon.”, he said sternly. There was only Jon’s most trusted servant around so he spoke comfortably. “At least at the court obey to the rules.”

“What rules?”, he questioned. “Since when sleeping is banned?”, he tried to cover his face with his hands to prevent sun from bothering him when Richard approached to the bed and took the pillows, threw it to the ground, seething. He was not in control of any situation but of course he could not admit so to Atera. “Fuck off, Richard.”

“Your bride is here.”, that woke him up -as much as it could. At least, despite the room turning enough to cause him a terrible nausea and stomach pain, he switched to sitting. “The Hightower banners were spotted. Get up, take a quick bath, dress up and sober up.”, he ordered. “We are going to talk about this later but first, behave like the Hand of the King, Jon, I beg you.”

“She is early.”, he groaned again, rubbing his face harsh enough to cause redness on his face -though it was not worse than the blood in his eyes due to the lack of sleep and the amount of alcohol he consumed. “She should come tomorrow.”

“Shall we send her back to Oldown?”, he raised his voice. “You have things to explain to Lord Hightower.”, he reminded him of the man’s letter. To say that he was pissed of would be an understatement. “And a bride to charm -and shall I remind you that Atera is perfectly aware-“

“The only thing that Atera might be perfectly aware of these days is the new fashion spreading through Essos.”, he knew that he was being completely wrong but had no patience to argue at the moment. “And no one sees me, Richard. I can assure you.”

“I see you.”, he said with a true pain. He was his oldest friend, his former lover and the only person he had in this world. It killed him to see him being wasted away like this. He didn’t care about Rhaegar or Oswell or not even about Atera. He saw him, his struggles and his pain. Why it wasn’t enough? “I see you, Jon. Now please, for the love of the Gods, stand up. You have to be there when the carriages arrive.”

*

It wasn’t that she didn’t like the dress. It was luxurious and made from quality fabric. Its colour and adornments were some of the most beautiful things she had ever seen in her life and her own dresses were usually not this elaborate and well, expensive and she was really happy with how it went along with her maiden cloak. The gown had its own for her to wear when the festivities ended. It was complementary to the dress itself and even had a hood in case of a wind happening but it went along with the actual Hightower cloak that she was going to wear during the ceremony.

The problem was that the dress was chosen by Alerie.

It was partially because none of her female relatives actually offered to help with the wedding and because everything was extremely rushed for some reason. It has barely been three weeks since she told her father that she accepted the marriage and in a few short hours, she was going to become Lady Connington but she did not put much thought into it, given he basically told her that this was something he was essentially forced to do. Still, she would like to be given more time …and choose her own dress.

“You look beautiful, Alysanne, stop complaining.”, Alerie said absentmindedly as she observed her hair like a hawk to make sure that there wasn’t a strand that was out of place.

“I do not complain.”, she sighed as her maid placed the blush on her cheekbones carefully in order not to upset Alerie. She obviously had a vision for this and was not going to let anyone ruin it.

“You do.”, she waved her off. “Just because you are not doing it out loud does not mean that I am not hearing you.”, Alysanne rolled her eyes but did not complain. Alerie was the only person who was actually trying to do something so even though it had been a long time since they last saw each other so they were not as close as before, she tried not to upset her. “Are you excited?”

Alerie she knew always had a soft face and a happy smile but now she was obviously …sterner. She would think that this was who she was now if only that forced expression did not appear only when she was talking with anyone with the Hightower name.

She was doing this just because she thought it was her duty to do so, not because she actually was supporting her.

“You do not have to do this, Alerie.”, she said with a monotone tone. She did not need anyone to pity her, she did so to herself enough. “No one would judge you if you would choose to take care of your children. I can get ready myself.”

“Nonsense.”, she said after a moment of silence. Her light blue eyes met with her green ones and her face softened. “You are my sister, Alysanne. Of course, I am going to be here.”

They had four other sisters.

None of them were there.

“I am only saying that you do not have to.”

“I am not doing this because I have to.”, she said with a subtle warning. “Shall I take your grumpiness as a sign of not being excited or do you just not like me anymore?”

“I don’t like you?”, she frowned. “You are the one who never writes to me.”

“I do not recall a letter arriving from you either.”, she still was fussing over her hair even though Alysanne was more than sure that the crown-shaped braids were impeccable and Alerie were still focusing on there to remain busy. “It has been what? Three years?”, she sent her a quick look. “I am the Lady of Highgarden. I have millions of things to do, duties that are most of the time above me and four children that need my attention. One heir to raise and one queen to make. Not to mention I still am constantly fighting with Olenna over power. I know that I should’ve written to you but at least I have an excuse.”, her voice got sharpened a bit -she obviously was hurt and Alysanne blinked in confusion. This was not the talk that she thought that she would have on her wedding day -she did not think that she would have a wedding day. “What is yours?”

“Nothing.”, she said with honesty.

She had no reason not to write to Alerie but she had a family of her own now. She simply did not think that she would want to do anything with them after all that went down and surely the decreasing amount of letters signalled that -at least they did in her head. Perhaps this was just a projection. She was marrying Jon Connington in order to free herself from Oldtown and their father's unexpected plotting. By this logic, it was understandable that she was inclined to believe that so did Alerie so she felt the instinct to leave her alone. It was wrong, apparently but still understandable -if she could say so to Alerie but failed to bring herself to do it. What use it would be? They were scattered around, the illusions were all shattered and they were all adults now with lives and marriages, new families of their own. There was no reason to give promises that she knew they would not keep now just because they were a bit emotional.

“Hmm.”, Alerie only hummed, her lips pursed like a needle and she took a step back, sent her gown a measuring look and then with the expression of a governess instead of an older sister, she declared that she was looking ‘appropriate’.

Perhaps Alerie was doing all that because she actually wanted to do but once again she was projecting her own feelings onto her and as a result, she was behaving like Alysanne expected her to behave -that was always Alerie’s greatest strength after all. She could adjust to every situation perfectly -so unlike Alysanne herself.

“Are you ready?”, Leyton knocked and entered inside. Alerie barely muttered a greeting and then turned around and tried to keep herself busy. Even though their father’s eyes focused on her for a moment, he decided not to have that talk either. “People are starting to gather in the Sept, Alysanne.”

“She will be ready in a moment.”, Alerie murmured coldly.

She never forgave him for what he had done during the trials. How he embarrassed their family, out their secrets and literally told the entire realm that Valyrian marriages were not legitimate and therefore all but declaring that she, alongside Baelor and Malora, and their children, by extension, were bastards. The effects of it could be extremely catastrophic, and it still caused gossip and whispers, if people decided to take his words too seriously yet he did that all without a care. Alysanne was angry because he was ready to burn down his entire legacy just because he lied to Atera for years and did not want to take responsibility afterwards.

Alerie was hurt.

He cleared her throat and then Alysanne realized the box in his hands. “I brought you a gift.”, she wanted to say that it was not necessary but did not want to argue now. “It belonged to your grandmother Daella.”

It was a headband that was embroidered to look like a tiara. Alerie got a golden crown for her wedding, Atera got a similar one for her first one, Denyse got a lovely brooch and while Leyla didn’t get anything, her father still let her remain in Red Lake when he could very well interfere with that and all she got was something that was made to look like silver.

Great.

“Surely grandmother had lovelier jewels than that.”, even Alerie, despite trying to ignore his existence, commented.

“Yes but as your father,”, he pressed the word. “I’ve decided that this would suit you the best.”

Alysanne and Alerie shared a look. The apology was worse than the crime.

“Just because you have children does not make you a father.”, Alerie said sternly with a frown and Leyton raised his eyebrows at her. “It isn’t that easy. Fatherhood is earned. Not given.”, his eyes roamed her face and he nodded to himself and then without saying a thing, he left the room.

“Do not bother.”, she stopped Alerie before she tried to say something to make her feel better. “Let us just get over with this.”

*

“Did you do what I told you to do?”, Richard asked with a whisper so that Oswell would not hear them -he did not think that he’d agree.

“I did.”, Jon said with a clenched jaw. “But I still think that it is a horrible idea.”

“What is more important, my friend? Your pride or her happiness?”, Jon said nothing as he sharply continued to tie his shirt. He was standing in front of a mirror and given he refused the help of the servants, he was dressing all by himself and Richard and Oswell were sent by Atera to make sure that he would not escape. “This wedding is going to happen, there is no way to stop it, you are a gentleman.”, Jon scoffed and Oswell turned to them momentarily but then continued to speak with the household guards about the security of the roads. He and Rhaegar had an argument because he refused to spend the night at the court and insisted on going back to his place instead and Oswell, in order to calm things down, decided to care about their security personally. “But if you changed your mind and decided not to be as stubborn as this, if you decided to give this marriage a chance-“

“You know that I cannot.”, he did all but spat. “It’s not even about her.”

He would never say it out loud because acceptance of a problem would mean that he would have to also find a solution to it but one look to his stormy eyes and Richard understood what he was being wary of. They did not know each other well and even though Alysanne knew about his preferences, it was through rumours -it was something that most people knew. It did not mean that Jon trusted her and if she got too close then she would find out his best-kept secrets and how could he be sure that she would not tell that to someone else? Honestly, Richard had never seen someone who was determined not to get better.

“Then yes, this is something you must do.”, he spat back. “She does not deserve to live a life of isolation.”

“If someone would hear of it… Can you imagine what people would say about me? About her?”, he shook his head. “And what if she is not as clever as we think she is? What if she is just yet another lady who spends her free time gossiping? What if she would tell this to someone she shouldn’t? What if she would get the wrong ideas? What if-“

“You are doing this so that she would not get the wrong ideas.”, he reminded him. He was perfectly aware that this was the stupidest advice he could ever give to Jon and that if anybody else heard of it, it would be catastrophic for all that was involved but Atera told him to make this marriage work and in the worst case scenario, he truly hoped that scandal would bring them closer. “Just make sure that you approach her with compassion, Jon.”, he warned him as Oswell started to walk towards them. “Do not forget that this is not what a bride would expect from her wedding night.”

“I know that this is a terrible idea.”, he was seething but Richard had a way of making even the most idiotic idea sound like a lifeline, sometimes. “Are we even sure that she would accept such a thing?”

Richard completely believed that she would not and that a very loud argument was awaiting Jon but he was not able to think of something else so just with a wide grin on his face, he patted his shoulders. “If you present it in the right way and not like an asshole, then sure. Why wouldn’t she?”

“She would accept what?”, Oswell narrowed his eyes at them but Jon would rather die than say it out loud and Richard did not feel like Atera screaming at his face at the moment so he just shrugged.

“You are lucky that I want to be able to say that I didn’t know when, whatever this is, has its downfall so I will not question it further.”, not that he didn’t care. He just wanted to stay away from it until the wedding actually took place because if things were cancelled now, it would be the greatest scandal ever since what went down in Atera’s wedding and they truly did not need such a thing. He could meddle later. “Be quick.”, too patted Jon’s shoulder and saw the way he swallowed down some curses. “You would not want your bride to wait for you.”

*

“Do you think I am making a mistake?”, she blurted the words without thinking before. They were in front of the Sept, waiting for everyone to settle so that they could enter and the longer they waited, the more nervous she became and she didn’t even know why.

“Alysanne the wedding is going to start in minutes.”, Baelor looked at her as if she had grown a second head. “Don’t you think you are a bit late to question that?”

She would have a witty comeback if her hands were not shaking, she was feeling extremely cold and tears were starting to gather in her eyes. Seeing her state, Baelor sent a quick look to their father, who was speaking with Vortimer coldly, and approached her, pulled her closer to the wall.

“I do not know.”, she whispered, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. This was happening for the first time in her life which was making her even more and more nervous. “I am not like this.”, she closed her eyes tightly. “But everything is happening so quickly and I...I do not know, brother. Am I making a mistake?”, of course she could not out her father's lies but of course could think of a better way than to get married with the Hand.

What if he would realize what her father had been doing?

“Why did you agree to this wedding?”, Baelor asked. “In order to free yourself from Arthur Ambrose? Because you were betrothed to this man once and still want to be his wife? Do you love him?”

“I agree to this wedding for the same reason why Leyla married that man.”, she said the first thing that came to her mind and in some ways, it wasn't entirely false. Baelor raised his eyebrows briefly in understanding. “You don’t think this is a bad reason to start a marriage?”

“Matches of love are rarer than you think, sister. Most marriages,”, he rolled his eyes at himself. “happen for three reasons.”, Alysanne could not help but let out a loud snort -enough to make both Leyton and Vortimer turn to them and she quickly closed her mouth. Baelor tried to cover his laugh with a cough and only continued when both the other men turned back to their conversation which looked more like an argument. “While yours is not one of them, it still is a reason and it is a valid one. Leyla would not be living this comfortably had Lord Crande did not allow her to remain in Red Lake but we both know that it was a risk that she took.” because she wanted to get away from their father, Hightower and Oldtown that much. “In your case, at least you are marrying a man that we know -and while he would not be my choice for you,”, for various reasons and not only because of his rumoured preferences. “I do not actually think that he, in any way, would betray, mistreat or humiliate you. Not to mention the great influence you will have.”, he smiled at her. “Isn’t this what you wanted your entire life? For people to see you as someone they took seriously instead of some lord’s fifth daughter?”

It was. It really was. And it was the reason why she, all those years ago, wanted to marry this man in the first place. He was the first person who chose not to go after her older sisters but her and wanted to marry her as much as she wanted to marry him but they were obviously different people now and they had different reasons, and different ambitions. Back then she only wanted to bring pride to her family by becoming someone of importance but now, she wanted to become someone apart from it. Back then, Lord Connington wanted her to keep his position safe but she wondered immensely, given her reasoning changed so drastically, why he agreed with this marriage despite not desiring so now?

What was he hiding?

“He said that this was not his choice but he has to.”

“Given the choice, would you be here now?”, no. She did not say so out loud but she didn’t actually have to. Baelor already knew the answer. “The moment he takes off your cloak and places his, all these reasons and alike would stop mattering, honey. You will become a team and in order to thrive, you should focus on common goals instead of debating about what brought you together.”

She took a deep breath. He was right. She didn’t know why she was panicking. Why did it matter why they married as long as they were and he was offering her the peace and the freedom she wanted? She never thought of making a love match, she never wanted it, and she still didn’t want it, so as long as she had power why would anything else matter? And even if he would find out about her father's doings, outing them so would harm his honour far more than keeping it as a secret. She could handle things. She didn't need to panic though things would be better if they only had a chance to speak before this wedding.

“I will try.”, things would be better if she sounded even remotely like she was believing in herself.

“I just want you to know,”, Baelor said as his time to go inside came. “that no matter what, you will always be a Hightower and a part of our family.”

“Oh, I know.”, she could be freed of the tower but never from the Hightower name. “Trust me, I do.”, no amount of freedom could ever manage to erase that.

“I do not mean it as a bad thing, Alys.”, Baelor chuckled. He was not that tone-deaf that after this conversation he would make such a comment. “You are not alone, just like neither are Alerie, Denyse, Leyla …or me.”, a small smile appeared on her lips too. “One letter and if this indeed is a mistake, I will be there to save you from it.”

“Thank you.”, words barely managed to get out of her mouth and Baelor hugged her.

“Shall we?”, Leyton cleared his throat after Baelor went inside and the time came.

“Of course.”, she took a deep breath, ran her hands through her dress and held her father’s arm.

“We stand here in the sight of gods and men to witness the union of man and wife: one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever. Let it be known that Jon of House Connington, son of Armond, Lord of Griffin’s Roost and Sabrina of House Kensington and Alysanne of House Hightower, daughter of Leyton, Lord of Oldtown and Meredyth or House Crane are one heart, one flesh, one soul. Cursed be he who would seek to tear them asunder.”, he finished tying their hands. “In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity. Look upon one another and say the words.”

“Father, Smith, Warrior, Mother, Maiden, Crone, Stranger…”, they spoke in union, looking at each other’s eyes.

“With this kiss, I pledge my love.”, he said at last, leaning to place a short kiss on her lips.

People clapped, some smiled, they left the Sept hand in hand and the moment they did, he let go of her and for the majority of the night, apart from when Rhaegar gave a speech when the feast first started and the opening dance they did, they stayed away from each other.

For Alysanne, it was not exactly a requirement. They were married now, of course, and they would have to see each other every day and while she had no hopes or thoughts of love, she was truly hoping that they could find a friendship again -after she figured out what was wrong with him, of course, but for Jon? Things were a bit more complicated for him but Alysanne did not actually mind his absence -nor did she notice it. People surely would have a thing or two to say about that, this was their wedding feast after all but Alysanne could worry about others later on. During the celebrations, she truly tried to have fun. Even though she hated getting her freedom through yet another man, at least she was free from Oldtown and all the traumas that it reminded her.

She danced with Baelor twice, during the night -not even once with her father. It wasn’t only Jon, who was staying away from her. She wasn’t even sure if he stayed after the speeches but if he did, she did not see him at all. Baelor was there though. He sat next to her, cheered her up, introduced her to that lord and this lady and generally did everything that their father was supposed to. Was she surprised that she was left alone? No. Did it hurt anymore? Also no. When you were the fifth daughter of a lord who always had even his favourite children at the bottom of the list of his priorities, you would get used to being lonely in crowds. She did not feel sorry about his actions because she felt no expectations -just like she did not question Jon’s absence or felt insulted by it because she had no expectations of him either. She learned, with time, being enough for herself though she had to admit that it was nice to have someone in her team, even for once and Baelor did his duties well -and so did Mace.

They were closer, back in the days -back when they saw each other regularly. Yes, she too engaged when her family made fun of Mace but it did not mean that she did not like him or that did not respect him. In her opinion, he loved his sister and treated her as if she was brighter than the stars in the sky and that was enough for her to accept him as a brother and in return, Mace was always respectful to her. She was under his protection back when the rebellion was going on and they were on Storm’s End, after all, and even though the years made Alerie, and therefore Mace, distant to them, both still supported her the entire night. Her sister made sure that she continued to look beautiful the entire night, she made sure that she ate and drank something and did not exhaust herself and Mace, who was acting more like a Lord Paramount, now that he no longer was desperate to please her father, spoke highly of Jon the entire night. Despite him being the Hand -and a hero of the Ironborn rebellion, people, the former rebels, still liked to discredit him but he was the most important lord in the realm as of now and it was a known fact that one day, his daughter was going to become the queen so his words of appreciation was going to be useful in the long run and she was grateful for them both. Yes, this marriage did not mean to her what it once did but it still was a victory, in so many ways and she wanted for it to remain the same way.

What surprised, and hurt, her was Atera’s lack of presence. She was there at the Sept, she did see her but never during the feast. She was not on the dais, she was not on the dancefloor and nobody even gossiped about her, as if she never existed at all, as if everybody just collectively forgot about her -but she did not ask, no. She was too prideful for that. She knew that she was the one who arranged the match but she wasn’t going to her side unless Atera made the first move. The queen was kind enough though. She always liked her and respected her and she was glad to see that the rumours were wrong and that she did not change at all. Yes, the years aged her and there was a certain sourness in her eyes and strictness on her face anytime she looked at her husband and the nobles and yes, she was not as genuine as she once was but she still was kind and it always was a trait that she appreciated in people -given most of her siblings lacked.

Apart from Baelor and Alerie, none of them attended the wedding.

She knew and understood why Garth couldn’t and while Malora did not offer any excuses, she did not even recall when was the last time she saw her. She was worried for her health but knew that even if she would make them known, her father would not care and there was only so much that Baelor could do as long as Leyton continued to encourage Malora’s studies.

What kind of a father would do that?

For the rest of her siblings though, she had nothing good to say. Half of them weren’t even actually her siblings and she was actually glad that they weren’t here to ruin her day or to embarrass her. And she was too tired to care at the end of the night anyway. She almost fell asleep in the carriage when Jon finally found her in the crowd and announced loudly that they were going to retreat.

“We should retire.”, Jon said after the carriage stopped but neither made a move to leave it. The footmen and the servants were waiting outside in order to give the newlywed couple a bit of privacy. “We both are tired. It was a rather long day.”

“There wasn’t a need for such a spectacle. People marry all the time.”, she murmured. She was half-asleep already. The carriage was unexpectedly comfortable and the air was warm enough to lure her to rest a little. It indeed was a rather long day.

“I told so to Atera, but…”, he sighed and then with a sudden move, he opened the carriage door and stepped outside. Alysanne blinked in surprise given how fast he moved but tried to push herself away from the seat, so she too could step outside -though it was a bit hard, given that it was not only her dress that was heavy but also her cloak and frankly, hair. “Welcome to Cedar Hall.”, he offered her his hand and in order not to fall down and make a fool of herself, she accepted it. “This where we will live now.”

“I thought the Hand stayed in the Tower of the Hand.”, she narrowed her eyes. “It literally is in the name.”, yes, he told her that he had a different place to stay but she did not think that it would be their official home.

“That is the tradition, yes. The Hand must always be near to the king, in case something urgent happens.”, he waited as she took off the hood of her cloak and looked to the marble mansion in front of them. It wasn’t anything extravagant but also not exactly humble. It was befitting of the nobility and thus far, was a perfectly suitable home to him. “Though, obviously not that much near. It is a journey from the Tower to the Red Keep too.”, all those stairs and halls… Still holding her hand, he raised the other one and pointed out the people lined up, all started to clap as they started to walk. “His majesty does not mind that I live in here.”

Oh, his majesty did mind that he lived in here but Jon did not actually care. This was the deal that they made. He was going to wear that pin under his conditions, not Rhaegar’s and even though he knew that this situation indeed annoyed him, he was being remarkably silent about it. And it wasn’t like Jon wasn’t staying at the court at all. Sometimes he had to work till late at night and making the journey would just seem pointless. He had a room there but he was not going to change his mind and move back. He was at least at peace here, away from all the noise and the chaos.

“You have very few staff.”, which was odd for a Hand of the King. Even her father had more guards and servants. The people who served Jon could not be more than ten people -all bowing and curtsying as they climbed the stairs inside. Alysanne tried to smile at all of them. Those people should not be the target of her exhaustion and ire.

“I have enough.”, he did not elaborate further. “And you will not find yourself needing anything. You have my word.”

“That was not what I meant.”, they were holding hands but neither spared a glare to the other. Jon because he did not see the reason and Alysanne because she really, really was tired and it was all that she could think at the moment.

Jon said nothing in return and she continued to observe the mansion. Of course, it was nowhere near as large as a castle or the Hightower itself but it also wasn’t anywhere near humiliatingly small. It was white completely, the outside, only the colons framed it had vine leaves all around them to add a bit of colour. It was dark but the lightning around was better than she’d imagined. It allowed her to see the small garden -though uncared and unattended because which farmer in their right mind would try to grow daffodils and tulips in the same place? Alysanne was no expert like Alerie but even she knew that the former was poisonous to the latter. And even though there was a small duck pond and a fountain, both seemed empty of water. The stables were located rather away from the main compound, which seemed a bit unpractical and she didn’t see any other house for the servants -they could live on the lower floors, of course, but it was unheard of and in general, the entire place lacked …soul.

But this was her new home now so she just sighed and decided to look at it again in the morning, under the daylight -though her sigh was what made Jon finally look at her.

“You didn’t like it?”, he questioned but there was no judgement in his voice. Honestly, there was nothing in his voice, not at all. He was saying words, forming phrases but she failed to understand any of the possible emotions there.

“It’s a bit …plain, don’t you think?”, she tried to find the right word. She did not think this was the case for them, back then. She never was that good with her pen but words always came to her easily when she sat down to write to him. Now though, while she did not exactly feel nervous, there was something about him that she could not quite understand, something that made her feel disconnected. “The land is obviously fertile. You can do so much more with it.”

“I am not a farmer, my lady.”, he looked away again.

“This is not an excuse for not hiring proper ones.”, words came out of her mouth and from the corner of her eyes, she saw him almost smiling but he then decided not to and she let out another sigh and this time, he did not turn to her.

They continued to walk to his chambers in utter silence and while she was thankful that the distance was not that far away, she did not understand why on earth he was staying on the first floor of a five-something-floor mansion.

This was odd.

While it wasn’t a written rule that the lord stayed on the highest floor, the first one was almost entirely frowned upon -especially in a place in which the servants also, assumingly, lived. And this was, again, entirely assuming, not like him. The man she used to know was a proud lord and while he did not, according to her knowledge, chased after luxuries, he would also not …stay on the first floor of his mansion when he could have the entire Tower of the Hand to himself. That place was a symbol of power and hierarchy. The man she knew would never break the rules and the tradition and choose a place that was notably away from the city.

This indeed was odd.

“Congratulations, my lord, my lady.”, the man bowed to her and tried to reach for her hand but she did not move and he, clearing his throat, had to straighten back. “I hope your union will be long and prosperous.”

Alysanne slowly turned her head to Jon while not taking her eyes off the man. “What is happening?”

“I am going, to be honest with you, my lady, as I observed that marriages fall apart without it.”, with an unreadable expression, Jon tied his hands at his back and Alysanne finally managed to look at him. “This was not a marriage that either of us wanted but the circumstances brought us together and no one listened to our opinions.”, …how did he know that? “We were forced into this charade against our will but I would not want you to be unhappy.”, given they were in this situation, Atera only succeeded because of his own weakness.

“What is it then?”, her eyes found the other man again. “Who is he?”

“This is Ser Igor Vyrwell.”, he pointed him out. “A trusted knight in my service …and your new lover.”

“What?”, she turned to him so fast that her muscles hurt. “What is the meaning of this?”

“It means that you and I are going to be a team.”, he shrugged. “I am, more often than not, busy with my work. I will work for long hours, I will not be able to join you either for breakfast or at supper. I am not going to share your bed, we will have separate chambers. I will not going to take you on trips, whether it’s in the city or elsewhere, unless my duty commands. I will not go to picnics with you, or to hunting, I will not ride around and most definitely, I am not going to listen to your opinions about my farmers.”, Alysanne blinked and blinked and blinked and then wondered if this was what caused people to get violent, this blinding, and growing, rage inside her. “Frankly, the only time you will see me will be during feasts and state dinners -and not at jousts and such. I do not have time for that.”, she wondered how could he be so …calm, so nonchalant while all she wanted to do was to choke him at the moment. “But just because I am busy, it does not mean that I am selfish. He,”, he pointed out Ser Igor. “will accompany you in whatever you want -and you have my …permission to bring him to your bed if you so desire.”, he did look uncomfortable for a moment but Alysanne was not sure if she imagined it or not because it faded as quickly as it came. “You will have power and influence at the court as my wife, you will have all the freedom in the world that you might want and the best of everything. That,”, his voice got a bit sharper now. “unless you ever forget that you represent me, in public. No one is ever going to know about this arrangement.”, he warned her. “Now, is there anything you want to say about this?”

That small smile that appeared on his face was the last straw for her. Without a second thought, she raised her hand, slapped him as hard as she could and just turned around and left the room and finally figured out what was wrong with him.

He was as soulless as his plain, boring, ugly home.