Archive of Our Own ^beta

Too much sunscreen.

Felix told him to apply it more carefully and the fucker was right. It’s not like Seungmin would admit it out loud, but his eyes are burning when he squints at Felix’s back. The view is a little blurry, but he eventually focuses on the drop of water running down his spine until it collects on the fuzz on his loins, just above the back dimple. Enticing. 

Maybe it wasn’t water, perhaps it was sweat. Either way, Seungmin’s tongue is itching for the salt.

“Your great adventure sucks.” He pokes at Felix’s calf. No reaction. “I said,” he tries again, “your great adventure sucks.” 

Felix hardly flinches, forcing Seungmin to poke and prod endlessly before a frustrated growl finally breaks through.  

“It wouldn’t suck,” Felix mutters, poking his head out from beneath the towel draped over him. “If you weren’t so scared of water.” He vanishes again under the towel, the perfect cover for rewatching the same TikTok for the hundredth time.

Seungmin can’t see his face anymore, but he can imagine the teasing curl of his lips perfectly. It’s almost frustrating. 

“I’m not scared of water,” he blurts out. And he isn’t—really. He can swim perfectly fine. After spending a fair share of his teenage years perfecting his front crawl at the local pool, it would be absurd to be afraid. But there’s a big difference between the safety of chlorinated water and the vast, unpredictable sea teeming with fish and unknown germs. That’s where Seungmin hesitates to dip his toes.

“I am just scared that you will piss while next to me.” He says that just to be a bitch. The searing in his eyes is getting worse by the second, and he has just rubbed it like a total idiot. Too much sunscreen. “And could you please turn that off?” 

It’s not like Seungmin doesn’t like Choi Minho, but even Call Back can get annoying after listening to that Na na na part over and over again because Felix got fixated on the dance challenge. 

”Weak,” Felix scoffs but scrolls down until another video catches his eye and Seungmin is forced to listen to some dude explaining “How to transform your jawline with one simple tongue exercise” at least five times. Putting the tongue behind his front teeth, adding pressure… He shakes his head ashamed when he catches himself doing as the guy says.

“You know there’s no scientific proof that this stuff actually works, right?”

“You only say that cause you can’t see this guy’s face structure. Seriously, he could kill with that chin.”

“You don’t need that,” he says softly, though Felix probably doesn’t hear him. “I’m bored,” he adds, his voice louder this time.

“So go swimming,” Felix brushes him off and rewatches the clip again because he has the attention span of a goldfish. Or maybe that guy’s chin is just that great. Seungmin finds himself tracing the lines of his own face.

His fingers crave something to scroll on too, but it’s not an option. Felix’s phone has been out of service since the morning. He swore he was fine, but his Tiktok addiction got the best of him and he eventually swiped Seungmin’s phone. Now he is busy feeding the beast, leaving Seungmin with nothing better to do than to watch his back dry. 

Maybe he’s been staring too long, or maybe it’s heatstroke, but when Seungmin closes his eyes, the image lingers—every vertebra rising from the freckled skin, so damn traceable. Or maybe it’s just too much sunscreen. 

🗺️🚘🛣️

When Seungmin was twelve, his so-called friends pulled a prank on him. They claimed it was supposed to be a harmless joke, but the damage was done. The meticulously crafted tellurium dropped on the floor, crashing not only the construction but also Seungmin’s chances for a good grade on the science project. 

While Seungmin was still mourning hours of work, Felix—the new kid, picked up the blue rubber ball, winked, and flung it towards those boys, hitting the tallest one in the chest. Then, with the brightest smile, he handed Seungmin the yellow one. “Here is your Sun.” And Seungmin, without missing a beat, threw the ball at them too, aiming for the head.

That’s how they got on the school's baseball team, and that’s how Seungmin learnt that he liked to hit. 

Seungmin was sixteen when, for the first time in history, he failed a test. A low blow, especially since English was his forte, and it could have been avoided if he hadn’t been so persistent in correcting the teacher’s pronunciation from the day one. 

The night after the results, Felix showed up at his door with two dozen eggs and a wicked grin. “I know where he lives.”

After getting caught, they tried to blame it on the same boys who destroyed Seungmin’s tellurium. It didn’t work out.

That’s how they were kicked out of the Baseball team, and that’s how Seungmin learned that if you want to hit, you’d better know how to run. 

So when Seungmin, at twenty-three, got rejected last minute for his dream summer internship, it was only a matter of time till Felix pulled up at his house. Seungmin opened the door to the shiny black jeep and a key twirling around Felix’s finger.

“Stealing a car from the recruiter? That seems a bit excessive. Even for you.”  

And he watched as instant regret flashed across Felix’s face, almost like he was kicking himself for not thinking of it sooner. So Seungmin tried again. “Or is it your fancy way to announce that you finally passed your driving exam?” 

“I borrowed it from a friend.” Felix patted the mask of the car with a loud sigh. Of course, the car couldn’t possibly be Felix’s—the suspension too high, the colour not flashy enough and class way beyond his reach. “So we can escape this cursed town. You have ten minutes to pack up your swim trunks. I want to go to the beach.” He circled the car to eventually slide into a passenger seat. “Oh, and by the way, you are driving,” he scowled. “I failed again.” 

So it seemed like they were about to practice running. Maybe hitting would come later.

🗺️🚘🛣️

“I peed.”

A shadow falls over Seungmin’s face and his eyelids, finally less burning, are sticky when he blinks at Felix’s figure that hovers over him. 

He must be delirious from heatstroke because there’s no way Felix looks this good from this angle. The sharp jawline, the eyes narrowing into crescents as he flashes that blinding smile—it’s almost unfair…

“I peed,” Felix repeats, his impatient ankle brushing against Seungmin’s hip. Just a touch.

“You peed?” He yawns and wipes the saliva from the corner of his mouth before Felix does it for him.

“In that bush,” he points somewhere, but Seungmin doesn’t bother looking, too busy trying to figure out the potential risk of grabbing Felix behind his knees and knocking him down. “We can go swimming now.”

It’s a matter of a second, split-second even. Seungmin stretches his arms to pull Felix down. Felix is faster. A hand on a wrist and a sharp tug. Suddenly, Seungmin is on his feet. Legs shaky, head dizzy. 

“I am hungry,” he whines as he massages his wrist. 

They picked up a few snacks at the gas station earlier. Seungmin even dared Felix to steal a sandwich while he was paying. It worked, and Seungmin can’t stop thinking about that sandwich ever since. 

“We will eat later. Hurry up.” Felix brushes the sand off Seungmin’s calves. “I’m serious, I’m hungry too, but it’s so hot and I don’t want to wait thirty minutes for digestion.” 

“You know that’s an old wives’s tale, right?” Seungmin raises an eyebrow. Felix tends to be a little gullible sometimes. He absorbs the fake news from the internet like a sponge. Never bothers to double-check.

“Of course, I know,” Felix scoffs, clearly offended. “But trust me, you don’t want to test the old wives.” He leans in and whispers, “They’ve been through a lot.” His eyes are wide when he theatrically shakes his head. It looks very cartoonish. “Now, let’s go, we don’t want to die from empty stomachs.”

Empty stomach or not, Seungmin is a menace, so he takes his sweet time pulling off his tank top.

Felix is a menace too, but mostly when his stomach is empty, and he must be starving, because his eyes are glued to Seungmin’s body, not missing a single inch of skin.

Seungmin tries to convince himself that it’s because Felix is worried that, now that his guard is down, Seungmin will collapse onto the towel and go back to his precious nap. But when Seungmin pulls down his shorts to reveal nothing but skimpy swimwear underneath, the hot flush of embarrassment crawls up his neck. 

Felix couldn’t be more obvious, and Seungmin could at least try to be a little more convincing.

“Tomorrow,” Felix begins, taking Seungmin’s hand and leading them towards the waves. The sand is warm beneath their feet, gritty and soft at the same time, but Seungmin hates how it clings to his skin. “We will find a better beach and go skinny-dipping in the moonlight.” 

There is an urge to ask why, but Seungmin knows the answer, and he takes a lot of pride in understanding Felix better than anybody else. 

Felix likes to do a lot of stuff—sometimes to show off, sometimes to cheer Seungmin up, but most of the time, just for the sake of it. When he is feeling gracious enough it’s all of the above. And that seems to be the case now. 

Seungmin looks around. The shore is untouched, save for the two of them and a few seagulls crying above. The sun hangs directly overhead, unrelenting and bright, casting everything in a harsh, unforgiving light. The air feels thick, almost heavy as if the heat is pressing down on everything, making every movement feel deliberate and slow. Seungmin isn’t even sure if they’re allowed to be here. “What’s stopping us now?” 

He just plays it cool, he’d rather pee in the sea than have them both undressed completely in broad daylight with no shadow to hide their curious gazes. He just plays it cool, because he knows Felix has a plan and he won’t change his mind so easily. 

“Nothing is stopping us now.” Their fingers tighten around each other as the first hit of coolness touches their toes. The water is more and more inviting. “You just like the anticipation.” 

Felix likes adrenaline. He craves the rush of the unknown, like a storm chaser seeking the heart of it only to dive, plunging headfirst into the darkest waters because he wants to be brave. Seungmin, on the other hand, finds the storm itself boring. Too predictable, too noisy. It’s the stillness of the air that makes his heart race. He likes to wait on the diving board, burning holes in the vastness of the ocean, hanging in the moment of freefall, anxiously weightless. Everything after the jump comes out as disappointing. The water too wet, the splash too small. 

That’s why he likes to wait so much. It’s the anticipation.

“Step by step, slowly,” Felix reminds, voice soothing. 

Seungmin isn’t afraid of water, but he doesn’t like having pointy rocks under his soles and the idea of twisting his ankle on the seaweed freaks him out. But Felix knows it, so he keeps their hands firmly joined together as he guides them through the most slippery part. 

“Wow, it’s like we are in a film!” As soon as the ground beneath them gets as stable as it can be in the sea Felix jumps into the wave. The goldens of his skin are shining playfully among the crests, hair turning a few shades darker, a little greener too. Maybe they are in a film after all. Felix’s colours surely make it feel so. “Sweet, isn’t it?”

Too busy staring to invoke his reflexes, Seungmin gets hit by another wave. His throat burns as he fights to cough the water out of his lungs. “Sweet,” he blurts. “That’s the word.”

And it is the word. Sweet, when Felix barks a laugh each time the water splashes Seungmin’s eyes. Sweet, when he seizes Seungmin’s face after to assess the damage. Sweet, when he gently strokes his blushed cheeks with his thumbs, almost like he has no idea how Seungmin’s heart jumps into his throat when he whispers “Sweet.” Eyes fixated on lips.

Felix is so easy to read most of the time, it’s the eyes. Big and round when surprised, blank when disappointed, squinting in a very specific way when he finds someone attractive.

Seungmin studied his face long enough. He can recognize those patterns and act before they cause any danger. 

That’s how they work. 

So, when a few months ago, right after Seungmin cut his hair, he felt the familiar stare drilling holes in his head, he turned around, pretending not to notice, because the anticipation is the best part. Besides, Felix likes to pretend to be the main character in a coming-of-age movie. It was a win-win solution. Both of them could have their fun, especially since Seungmin had decided to keep his hair that way. 

“Sweet,” Felix repeats. Eyes fixated on lips but the kiss lands on the nose. 

Seungmin shoves him into the water before his cheeks turn pink. 

“Bend down for a moment.” Felix sneaks up from behind and pushes Seungmin down. “I want to do a flip.” And he is already climbing up his body until his insteps reach Seungmin’s shoulders. 

Seungmin braces himself, gripping Felix’s calves as they are wavering to the sides in an attempt to find the balance.

Felix’s body is strong. Despite his feather-light bones and lithe figure, he keeps his muscles lean. Just enough for his abs to show because he is vain like that. Seungmin is different. Most of the time, he shies away from bathroom mirrors and he wouldn’t be caught dead taking a shirtless selfie, but he does his workouts regularly so he doesn’t end up completely useless when he reaches old age. 

That said, Seungmin insists on working their stamina, so they can run away from their troubles; Felix focuses on the core, so they have the strength to get into them in the first place. Hit and run.  

That’s how they work. 

Pushing each other when it’s fun, pulling back when it’s needed. And constantly learning how to stretch the fun part while staying comfortable with each other—the final product of being attached by the hip. Inseparable like the moon and the low tide, balancing each other to the same degree. 

Sounds neat in theory, but in practice, they are nothing more than two skinny boys so easily knocked up by the next wave that Felix falls into the water with a loud splash. Seungmin’s heart drops for a second when he loses the blonde hair from his sight, only to grimace when Felix comes up for air three meters further with a loud laugh. 

“Well, that was lame,” he sums up while forcing his way to Felix for the pure reason of brushing the hair away from his forehead. Maybe catching a better glimpse of his freckles too. 

“Super lame. No one can find out about it.” Of course, someone will. Seungmin is not an oversharer, but Felix can’t keep his mouth shut for long. “And next year we should take surfing lessons.”  

Seungmin scoffs, but knowing Felix, the plan is already set in stone. And Seungmin knows exactly how it will go because he wasn’t born yesterday and he certainly didn’t just meet Felix. 

They will start going to classes together. Seungmin will excel at first, exceeding expectations, because that is what happens when he doesn’t care. Felix, on the other hand, will underperform, struggling with the simplest things, because that is what happens when he cares too much.

But Felix hates losing so he will grit his teeth, blink away tears, push and push until he finally gets it. The instructor will receive one triumphant smile and never hear again from Felix, who will lock himself back in his room lured by another video game. 

That will leave Seungmin alone for a while on a battlefield because someone will have to make excuses for Felix and because Felix once said that he admired his diligence.

Eventually, they both will end up spending summer screaming at the screens. They always do. That’s how they work.

“I am still hungry.” This time it’s Seungmin who jumps on Felix’s back. Pressing his chest more than it’s needed and hiding his face in Felix’s neck. It goes without saying that Seungmin is being carried to their towels. Because he doesn’t like the sand sticking to his feet and because Felix’s muscles tense so nicely when he is focused on the task.

🗺️🚘🛣️

“We should head out and start looking for a motel soon,” Seungmin decides when Felix feeds the last bite of a sandwich into his mouth, hand formed into a little boat under his chin so no crumbles fall onto his chest. Yeah, stolen food just tastes better.

“Or we could stay a little longer and watch the sunset.” Felix licks the sauce from his fingers and wipes his hands on his thighs. Then he shuffles next to Seungmin to get a good view of the horizon. “It’s romantic, right?” He nudges him playfully.

“I guess so.” The sky is already bleeding into oranges and pink. A soft warmth still hangs in the air so it’s not that cold yet, but that doesn’t stop Seungmin from shivering when Felix rests his head on his shoulder. “By the way, who did you borrow the car from?”

“I told you already. From a friend.” 

A friend. A word that Felix uses with ease. Always a social butterfly, he likes to be everywhere. Charming his way into different groups, turning their lives upside down, disappearing as soon as he talks their ears off and still calling them friends.  

It used to bother Seungmin. Sometimes it still does, but Seungmin is not possessive. At least as long as he can tag along with Felix or pick him up at night.  

“I like you better,” Felix once said after a few beers in the park with some troubled kids. “So much better.” His hand didn’t leave Seungmin’s nape for a second. Fingers playing with the short hair . “But you know it, of course you do.”

That’s why Seungmin is secure enough when Felix doesn’t want to answer him. He will find out eventually, because the thing about Felix is that he never shuts up, but he knows when to spare Seungmin some unnecessary information. And his face twitches funny when he tries to be secretive. Theatrical, like he is starring in a teenage drama, about to get busted. Maybe that is what happens to people who live like the main characters. 

It’s adorable, so Seungmin plays along.  

“Do I know them?” He isn’t even that curious. As long as there are no cops on their backs.

“Everybody knows each other in the city,” he replies curtly, but Seungmin recognizes the quiet huff he lets out after. He wants to be in that silly character a little longer. 

“Let me guess then.” Seungmin rests his hand on Felix’s knee. Tactically so, firmly enough to feel the adrenaline, but not too high to burn out too fast. “Older?” His fingers casually brushing against the skin. “Younger?” He can’t help himself; his thumbs dig into the flesh. “Older? Tall? Short?” He is teasing at this point, whispering suggestively different adjectives into Felix’s hair. “Pretty?”

“Taken,” Felix cuts him off just when Seungmin is about to throw names. The scene is over.

Taken. That’s the only clue Seungmin can get. Purposefully chosen one, most likely, to not make him worry too much. And as to prove it, Felix sneaks his hand on Seungmin’s, gives it a little squeeze.

“Are you mad about the internship?”

“Disappointed, I guess. I’ll have to work for my dad once again.” His future is secure enough not to mourn about losing the opportunity for too long, but he likes the idea of breaking out of the mould and doing something on his own for once, no matter how ungrateful it makes him look. 

“Or you could join me in the ice cream booth.” 

Seungmin could never join him in the ice cream booth. He is not made for customer service. Too impatient when dealing with people’s stupidity, too sharp-tongued when it’s not recommended. Besides, he was born in a white collar, craving to climb the corporate ladder until he couldput his sharp tongue to use on stupid people. 

Of course, Felix is nothing like that. Good at sweet talking and pretty enough that Seungmin doesn’t worry about him making it far in life. Whether it be asa pyramid scheme master or a local influencer, as long as he can use his glamour, he can be a little careless. 

“I could join a strip club as well, but do you see me doingthat either?”

Felix huffs a laugh. “Well, you do look cute when you try to shake your little ass.” It earns him a nudge in the chest, but he doesn’t mind, instead, he just hums Minho’s song once again, and it’s Seungmin’s clue to start collecting their things. 

“Where is my phone?” He picks up the leftover trash from their picnic and folds the towels. “Can you search for someplace to stay?” 

“It died when you were asleep,” Felix shrugs and puts his socks on without bothering about getting rid of the sand from his feet first, and then he throws the sunscreen into the bag to be a bit more helpful. “We’ll have to charge it in the car.” 

“What about yours? Still no signal?”

“Nope,” he pops the p. “Not at all.” But he doesn’t even check.

“If you say so.” 

“Give me the charger.” Seungmin fastens his belt, adjusts the steering wheel and makes sure that the correct lights are on. 

“Sure, where is it?” Felix asks, not moving an inch, his legs are already resting on the cockpit, shoes off.

“I didn’t pack it, just use yours.” The final tweak to the mirrors and they are good to go.

“Oh.” A beat of silence, a little too long. “I forgot to take mine, too.” 

For Felix, it’s more common to forget about things, not an everyday occurrence, he cares about his stuff, but sometimes it slips his mind and when it does, he is not hysterical about it. Seungmin is better at keeping things close to himself. He gets attached easily.

But Felix isn’t forgetful per se, so Seungmin let his guard down when Felix announced that he had ten minutes to prepare and they were setting off. They weren’t in a rush, but Felix likes to spice things up sometimes.

“So we are fucked.” Seungmin starts the car anyway. There’s no use in panicking, they just need to find their way to the nearest city and figure it out from there. They are smart, and it’s not the most hopeless thing that has ever happened to them. 

One time they snuck into their old school building on Friday night. Just for the sake of it. “So we are fucked.” — that’s what Felix said when they realized the cleaning lady locked them in the right wing. They spent the whole weekend on the food from vending machines, and Felix spent another week making sure that the principal didn’t press charges. 

“I guess we are.” Felix turns on the radio. After a whole day of listening to Minho, it’s almost ironic how there is Key’s song on. Out of the corner of his eye, Seungmin sees Felix’s face lighting up, so he turns the volume up, even if he always has been more of a Jonghyun person. 

“Check the compartment,” Seungmin suggests, maneuvering carefully to not drive into a tree. “Maybe there is a map here.”

“There is no map,” Felix answers, a little too fast and too sure to not sound suspicious. “There was, but it’s not there anymore. I had to use it for something…”

“Do I want to know?” The asphalt finally becomes smooth under the tyres, Seungmin shifts the gear and tightens his hand on the steering wheel. 

“You probably don’t,” Felix shrugs, and that’s all Seungmin can get out of him because the chorus of the song starts, and Felix prefers to imitate the choreography with his hands while singing out loud.

🗺️🚘🛣️

“Turn this way!” Felix’s sudden plea gives Seungmin a heart attack, but his body reacts before his brain does, and he only gets to ask “ why?” after successfully dodging a traffic pole. 

“The vibes were better.” 

“The vibes?”

“Yeah. Can you feel them?” 

Seungmin isn’t sure if can, but if it makes Felix happy, then it must be the right one. “What about those two?” He asks as he slows down in front of ramification. 

“Hmm…” Felix rubs his temples with such determination that Seungmin thinks that maybe he has some deeply hidden powers. It wouldn’t even be that surprising.

“Make a wise choice, the gas light is on.” It’s been on for the past thirty minutes, but they were fucked even without it.

“The left one.”

“The left one it is.” There is no use in turning the winkers on; they are very much alone on the road, but he does it anyway because Felix failed his driving exam five times, and Seungmin wants to set a good example, still feeling somewhat guilty for being a careless driver. Felix picks on his bad habits easily. That’s why Seungmin also puts both his hands on the steering wheel. 

“Don’t worry. Every road leads somewhere!” Felix assures cheerfully.

“Every road leads somewhere,” Seungmin repeats.

Except the road that Felix has picked leads exactly nowhere. After another half an hour, the asphalt turns into dirt, and there is a forest spreading out in front of them calling them for more trouble. 

Seungmin only grins when his foot presses the gas pedal harder. Felix grins back and adds a scream for good measure. He likes to spice things up. 

High beams, the music louder than before, Seungmin is secretly praying that they don’t blow a tyre. They aren’t going fast enough to kill themselves, but fast enough to make them feel alive and to almost run over a hare. 

Seungmin slams on the brake just in time, and the hare runs away with a flicker of fur. The adrenaline fades as quickly as it came. The fun is over and now all that is left to do is to reflect on how they are being fucked.

“We should pull over and wait for the morning,” Felix speaks first, his fingers pressed against his neck, checking the pulse.

“Aren’t you scared?” Seungmin pulls to the side. He isn’t expecting anybody else to show up on the road. But who knows, maybe there is another pair of reckless best friends who are going to end up in the same situation. It’s a consoling thought. “Just us here. The car almost out of gas. No phone. No signal. In the night...” 

“I am, if you are putting it like that.” Felix hugs himself, but he sticks his nose up to look more brave. “But even if there is someone else out there, I’d still bet that you are the serial killer.” 

“And you would die first.” The pretty ones always do. 

Seungmin is not a serial killer, but he for sure would become one if someone tried to put a finger on his friend. 

Maybe it scares Felix a little because he takes out his useless phone and records a useless video that sums up their journey, just in case they go missing. He makes sure to point out that they only almost killed the hare. 

In the meantime, Seungmin unfastens his belt and adjusts his seat, spreading his legs as much as he can. 

There is a long night coming.

🗺️🚘🛣️

“Eh…”

Felix is easy to read, it’s in the nose. Crinkled when he doesn’t find something funny, stuck up when he tries to look confident, exhaling heavily when he is bored.

“Don’t complain now.” Seungmin turns off the music and turns on the headlight so Felix can see his face full of accusations. “It’s your vibes that brought us here.” 

“I am not complaining,” Felix sighs again. “I just thought it would be more entertaining. And you drove us here. The fault is divided.” 

“You planned a whole trip and ditched the map beforehand, not to mention a charger,” Seungmin retorts.

“Let’s play a game.” 

“Fine, I’ll start,” Seungmin exhales sharply. “I spy with my little eye…” He looks around but there isn’t much outside. Only the surrounding darkness of a forest and Felix. “A TikTok addict who forgot to bring a charger.” 

“Lame.” Felix rolls his eyes, sticks a tongue in a cheek and squints his eyes. “I spy with my little eye a maniac. Someone who almost killed a hare.” He jabs Seungmin in the middle of his sternum. “And did I mention that he also forgot to bring a charger?”

“Touché! Let me try again. I spy with my eye someone…” he thinks out loud. “Someone… Someone who… has a pretty smile!” Bingo. Felix gets flustered, his eyes widen for a second, but before he can properly react, Seungmin turns his own face towards the rear-view mirror and brushes his hair with his fingers. “There you are, cutie.” He winks at his own reflection.

“That game is stupid.” Felix pushes him away from the mirror. Takes a look at himself instead. Seungmin notices the immediate movement of Felix’s jaw. That moron is really trying those tongue exercises from earlier, and Seungmin, being an even bigger moron, finds it oddly attractive. “Let’s play truth and dare.” 

The idea is not exactly bright. There is nothing to dare about in their situation, and they know the most important truths about each other. 

Seungmin is not an oversharer, but Felix can keep his mouth shut when he turns into one.

“Not happening.”

“Truth or dare?” Felix doesn’t give up. He cocks his head at Seungmin, challenging him with a smirk. 

He got him. Seungmin likes a good challenge. Even if incoherently stupid. He sighs. “Truth.”

Felix’s eyes lighten. He’s up to something, Seungmin can tell. 

“What was your first time like?”

Seungmin barks a laugh. “Seriously?” He makes sure that he heard it right, but Felix just nods intensely. “You know it.” 

Of course, Felix knows. When Seungmin finally lost his V-card, he was so proud of himself that the boy he did it with didn’t even put his underwear back on, and Seungmin was already at Felix’s, sharing every detail. Then, Seungmin pretended to be oblivious when the boy didn’t call back.  “What did you expect? You hit and run. Like a pro,” Felix told him back then.

“Yeah, I do know!” Sometimes it’s Felix who takes pride in knowing Seungmin so well. “I just wanted you to remind me that. So let’s try again…” He pretends to think about it, but after fiddling his fingers for five seconds, they find their way to the edge of Seungmin’s shorts. Play with the fabric, “accidentally” brushing against his skin. “How do you like being kissed?” 

Seungmin's heart stops for a second and then it beats with doubled speed. 

He gets cold. 

The sudden drop of the temperature—indication that storm is coming. 

But he wants to keep it that way a little longer—to still the winds and thin down the clouds that cumulate dangoreusly close to the horizon. 

“Are you for real?” It comes out more startled than he intended, so he adds a weak “dude,” after. 

But Felix is like thunder—another symptom of a storm. Coming strong and crashing all the way trough Seungmin’s skull.

“Passionately?” his fingers travel under the fabric, way more intentionally now. It’s like Seungmin is touched by electricity. Not dangerously yet, but the warmth is there. “Sloppy?” He asks, looking at Seungmin’s lips from under his lashes. “Tongue? No tongue?” 

Seungmin holds his breath, afraid that if he gasps too loud, the still waters will start rushing towards him with a crashing speed. 

Just a little longer. 

“Are you an upper lip kisser or a lower lip kisser?” Felix doesn’t stop. “Come to think about it, I have never seen you kissing.”

It’s going to happen. The tempest at its finest. Seungmin knows he has no chance against it, but it’s not in his nature to give up so fast. After all, Felix likes his diligence. 

“Where…” his mouth is dry. He tries to swallow and it comes out like a loud gulp. 

He knows that Felix wants him, he knows he wants Felix even more. And he knows that whatever they are doing now is just for the sake of their stupid prolongated foreplay that started months ago. 

Maybe, if they were a little more normal or at least slightly less fucked up, they could have ended up there way sooner. 

But it’s their thing. Being overly dramatic. Pretending to be in a film for Felix’s desires. Dancing around each other for the sake of Seungmin’s anticipation.

But… Even if it’s all fun and pretend, Seungmin nerves are real and they are eating him alive. Maybe he is not as ready as he thought. Maybe he got too caught up in a role. Or maybe he just wants it too much.

It takes a lot for him to take a deep breath and collect his thoughts. “Where exactly are you going with this one?” 

“Don’t you know already?” 

That’s the peak. 

The storm unfurls its fury and something is ringing really loudly in Seungmin’s head. His heart is racing again. Not fast enough to kill him, but fast enough to kill a hare. 

He has to play his part. Except now it’s more of an improvisation. If he doesn’t want to drown too soon, he has to play. He decides to go for an oblivious main character’s love interest. So Felix can have his fun while trying to seduce him. As if Seungmin isn’t obviously his. 

“Slowly,” he answers the question, finally and honestly, then crosses his arms behind his head, getting comfortable in his seat, trying to look casual, even if his body is more tense than ever. “I like being kissed slowly and when someone sucks on my lower lip,” he murmurs with his eyes half-closed, almost dreamy. “Moderately with the tongue.”

Felix nods and he dips onto his seat as well. Maybe Seungmin gained some time after all.

They fall quiet for a moment. Only their heavy breaths are hinting that something has happened between them. But they eventually disappear in the wind between the pine trees’ branches. 

Only when Seungmin realises that he can also hear the vague sound of the waves hitting the cliff, he remembers the game. Not the weird and stained between them. The one that they actually play.

“Truth or-”

“We should kiss!”

“Right now?” He blows, but he quickly softens when he looks at Felix. The dim light above their heads makes his eyelashes throw a shadow over his cheeks. He looks pretty, even with his brows funnily frowning with determination. “What happened to anticipation?”

Felix scowls, “It’s gonna be a long night. And we are going to get so bored. And I know us. You won’t fall asleep 'cause you miss your bed, and I won’t fall asleep because I can’t until you do and, and…” His yapping breaks the character.

“And your solution for that is-”

“To kiss!” Felix blows this time, and he chuckles awkwardly after realizing how desperate the tone of his voice is. Seungmin can’t help the instant ego boost. Felix wants him so badly. “To kiss or to make out a little.” He tries to demonstrate something with his frustrated hands. Not much coming out of it. “Maybe, you know…” He looks down, perhaps nervous too. “Let’s see where it takes us.”

“Felix,” he sighs but the plan is already set in stone and Seungmin doesn’t have any idea how it will go. 

He wasn’t born yesterday and he hasn’t met Felix yesterday either. They both do terribly when they care. That’s why Seungmin has savoured every second of the anticipation.

Because anticipation makes him alive, disappointment– not so much. It’s not that he is scared of Felix disappointing him in any way. No, that’s not even a possibility. But there is a reason why Felix has never seen Seungmin kissing anyone. Not many people witnessed Seungmin kissing anyone. Even Seungmin barely witnessed it himself. And now he is scared that the lack of experience will fuck everything up.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me you haven’t spent the past months thinking about it.”

Of course, he did. And sometimes it went great and sometimes he hit Felix with his teeth. Bit his tongue to blood, if he felt more gruesome. 

But Felix most likely knows, because while Seungmin was looking at Felix all those years, Felix looked back. And he also studied Seungmin’s face long enough to recognize his patterns and learned to act before Seungmin tries to pull them away from the danger.

“Of course I did. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.”

“Ahh, I know,” Felix groans into his hands. “I’m sorry. I was planning to give you time till the end of the summer so you can, you know, Seungmin it out , savour the anticipation if you will. But we are in the middle of the fucking nowhere and I am either going to die from anxiety or out of boredom. I miss your bed, too. And I miss TikTok. And every station plays techno at this hour for no reason. I can’t listen to techno anymore! Oh god, I think I am bad-tripping already.” 

“You are ridiculous,” Seungmin laughs and suddenly realises that maybe the storm was just a figment of his imagination. 

Maybe the sea was never still and the sky was never gray. Maybe they’ve been sitting on the beach, enjoying the stolen sandwich the whole time. Maybe they are not even at the seaside. Maybe they are in a cottage, built on a convex slope of a mountain to protect them from avalanches, and they are warming their asses in front of the fireplace. He doesn’t know anymore. He doesn’t know anything besides the fact that in front of him, there is Felix and outside of their twisted roleplaying, Felix is still Felix. His comfort person. And he trusts him and he loves him like nothing in the world. And maybe that’s what makes him brave enough to overcome his ridiculous fears. 

“I don’t mind waiting, just so you know.” Felix pats Seungmin’s knee reassuringly. “I am stressed out too, but with every second you spend thinking about it, the expectations grow and grow and they transform into this beast. Huge and intimidating beast, baring its teeth when the pressure grows. We don’t need a beast right now, it’s creepy enough without it.” 

“But what if,” Seungmin begins, placing his hand over Felix’s, covering it all, thinking about the right words. “What if that beast is not a beast at all? What if it turns out to be…” He stops and grins. “A dachshund. A balloon dachshund. What happens if you add too much pressure to a ballon dachshund.”

Felix tilts his head, amused and excited. “It blows up in your face.”

“Exactly,” Seungmin nods satisfied. “It blows up in your face and you don’t care about the expectations anymore. You just go for it.” He spreads his hands dramatically, mimicking an explosion. “ Bang!”   

Felix flinches, then eventually joins Seungmin’s laugh. “So you just wanted to wait long enough for a ‘Bang’? How do we make it ‘Bang’ now?”

“Don’t you know already?” Seungmin just needs a little more. One prolonged look to feed the beast (or dachshund -whatever) just enough. Felix squints his eyes. Seungmin nods. Bang! “Where did we stop?”

Felix shakes his head, a wicked smile already taking half of his face. 

“New play. It’s on,” he whispers and it’s the only warning Seungmin gets before Felix grabs his cheeks, squeezing them in the process. “If you are so scared of kissing, then why are you staring at my lips now?”

“I am just looking at you,” he replies, still trying to figure out what kind of scenario Felix has in mind.

“You always do, don’t you?” He somehow smiles even wider. Seungmin’s answer must have been satisfying. “You are always looking…” His thumb touches the corner of Seungmin’s mouth. “Watching.” A flick of the lower lip. “Guarding.” Pulling it down. Eyes fixed on the way it bounces back. 

The shivers rush down Seungmin’s spine. Felix gets closer and closer until he whispers right in Seungmin’s mouth. “It suddenly makes sense that all of my past relationships failed miserably. With you on our tail, making sure I am safe.” 

It’s bullshit. Those relationships failed because Felix got bored and returned to gaming, but Seungmin likes that idea better. 

“I didn’t trust them.” His words are getting blurred with the way the world is spinning. There's not much going around anyway, just a steady hand on his nape and a lot of freckles.

“Why would you? They were assholes,” he sneers. “And terrible kissers.” He looks at Seungmin trustfully. “But you are nothing like them.”

“I hope so.”

“And I hope you can kiss me better.”

Felix is so easy to read most of the time, it’s the tongue. Poking on his cheek when mad, stuck out when mischievous, sliding against Seungmin’s lips because he likes him the most.  

Felix kisses Seungmin just like he likes to be kissed. Slowly, sucking on the lower lip, teasing it with his teeth, holding him tight and humming with satisfaction when Seungmin opens his mouth for more. Moderate with tongue and a little clumsy because they waited for it so long, and they do terribly when they care. Except this time neither of them cares about fucking up anymore.

It’s rushed after that. Seungmin holds his breath when he is being pulled onto Felix’s lap, his head barely dodging the rooftop. One hand braced on a headrest, the other slipping down the collar of Felix’s tanktop. Feeling his shoulders, upper back muscles, tracing every vertebra on his nape. 

There is no sign of sweat or water, but Seungmin still itches for salt. 

He kisses him again. It’s like the sea is inhaling him whole, a current too strong to resist. Even if he tries to gain control, to be the one leading the kiss, Felix holds him strong and steady, not letting him drown, but making sure he doesn’t surface the water. Seungmin melts into his body in a way he never has let himself before.

Okay, maybe Seungmin likes being a little more than “moderate with the tongue.” He hears Felix’s laugh when he attempts to stick his tongue further, desperately so. Maybe he would care more if his mind wasn’t already hazy. Maybe he would care more if Felix didn’t indulge immediately, giving him a little taste before attacking him with his own tongue, showing him who has the upper hand. Seungmin likes the tease of it so he lets his guards down and allows Felix to guide them trough the kiss.

There is a line of saliva spreading between their swollen lips, and Seungmin, panting heavily, rolls his eyes at how cliche it is. Felix wipes it before Seungmin can do it for him.

That’s how they work.

“Backseats?” Felix asks, voice raspy as the waves hitting the shore and cheeks pink like the sunset. Seungmin is not above waxing poetics in his head.

“Backseats,” he eagerly responds, only with a little regret that they need to part away. 

He opens the door and almost falls out of the car, but Felix doesn’t rescue him, too busy scavenging something from the compartment. 

“Here it is!”

“Seriously?” Seungmin can’t help an ironic scoff when Felix waves the bottle of lube and a condom at him, smirking inquiringly. “Did you throw away the map to fit this inside?”

“Not exactly.” He gets out of the car and throws the lube and the condom onto the seat. “The map is serving a greater purpose, I swear.” He makes some adjustments, trying to maximally extend their limited space. 

“You didn’t think to pack a charger, but you made sure we had this? ” He still can’t believe it. It’s almost like… Felix knew it would happen. 

“You know how it is in life, Seungminnie,” he speaks in a nurturing tone. “There were times in my life when I regretted not having condoms.” He takes off his top, then pulls his shorts down to his ankles. “But I never happened to regret having them with me.” And he trips over them, right into Seungmin’s embrace, when he tries to step outside. Grinning. Almost like he planned it.

Seungmin calls him a loser and kisses that dorky smile. They get rid of Seungmin’s clothes together. Throwing everything on the ground. It’s something they will take care of later.

It’s chaotic and crampy and hella impractical. But Felix doesn’t seem to care when he pushes Seungmin until his shoulders hit the seats and crawls in between his legs. His feet must be dangling in the air, propped against the threshold. 

“You wanted me for so long,” Felix sighs as he unceremonially gropes Seungmin’s chest, which turns out to be more sensitive than he knew. Seungmin squirms under the touch. “You want me so bad,” Felix adds, and he is right. Seungmin does want him so badly, but it’s Felix who licks his lips like he is about to devour him on the spot. “You couldn’t keep your hands off me anymore, is that right?” He is projecting at this point, rightfully so. “You just had to kiss me.”

Seungmin hums, too busy to discuss the inaccuracies as he desperately tries to leave a mark on Felix’s throat. A hickey. A little souvenir for both of them. And for the whole world, because there is no chance that Felix won’t expose his neck at every given opportunity. 

Felix tastes like salty water, and Seungmin is pretty sure that he feels sand grains on his tongue, but it’s not nearly enough to make him stop; he goes for the shoulder. With teeth and tongue and all he has to offer. With an uncanny enthusiasm, maybe. It’s not easy to reach the level of Felix’s insanity. 

It’s ridiculous. It really is. Their shorts are thrown on the ground, left to damp in the mood. Leaving them only in their silly swim trunks. The compartment in the front of the car still opened. Seungmin’s left leg is propped against the passenger’s seat, the right one wrapped around Felix, who throws his head back with a grunt and grinds his crotch against Seungmin’s. A little dishevelled and a lot messy. Seungmin can only rock his hips to meet him in the middle, desperately craving more pressure.

“Tell me,” he whimpers, overwhelmed by the fact that Felix is getting bigger with every thrust. How big will he get? It’s fucking intimidating. The size difference must be dazzling. Felix must be aware of that by now, too. Right? It’s mortifying, and Seungmin can feel his dick leaking at the realization. “Tell me how much I want you.”  

“Isn’t it obvious?” Felix hides his hot face in the crook of Seungmin’s neck. “It’s hidden in how much you are willing to wait. And how fast you are adjusting to me. How much you are thinking about me.” He is right, he is so right. Seungmin moans when Felix falls on his chest with his whole weight. “I heard you saying my name in your sleep.” Well, Seungmin has no idea if that one is true. It could be. 

There is a sheen of sweat on Felix’s neck. Maybe it’s the water. Sunscreen. Heatstroke. Hare. Seungmin slowly loses it all. 

“Aren’t you just obsessed with me?” 

That does it  for Seungmin. Boiling his excitement, mixing it with humiliation just right, going straight to his dick. He just needs a little more.  

“Felix,” he cries, biting into his shoulder and pushing his hips forward. A little more. 

“We could come just from this,” Felix laughs before lifting himself up, stopping the humping only to press a chaste kiss on Seungmin’s forehead. “But you like to wait, right?” 

“I… Please…” 

“It’s okay, I understand,” Felix shushes him, ignoring the misery in his voice, and lowers himself until he faces the wet patch on Seungmin’s swim trunks. “Don’t worry baby, I will make you wait,” he promises. “As long as you want.”

Seungmin almost blacks out when Felix pulls him by the hips and presses his mouth over his clothed dick, tickling it with his teasing tongue. 

It drags out a particularly pathetic moan from Seungmin.

It gets even more pathetic when Felix’s fingers slip under the band and gradually tug the swimwear down, and Seungmin’s first instinct is to cover up. His size wasn’t a big issue before, but he had never cared enough before.

The fear of disappointing hits him again. Felix probably saw him naked during the many years of their friendship, but not in such a situation. Not in his full size, with his cock so painfully hard and so dearly leaking. 

“Tsk.” Felix grabs his wrists, places them right above his heart and kisses them, smooches them with the highest care. “Your hands stay there,” he whispers.

Seungmin opens his eyes to meet Felix’s fascinated gaze directed right at his crotch. 

“Cute,” the blonde smiles, knowingly, and takes Seungmin’s dick into his small hand, covering it whole. “So fucking, cute,” he nods and starts jerking him off. Up and down. Slowly. Of course, slowly. “It’s like you were made for me.” And he takes him into his mouth with ease. Keeping him nice and warm.

Felix knows what he is doing. 

Not letting Seungmin take a break. It’s too wet and cosy for him to get soft again, but it’s not enough to make him cum. Stroking his hip bone, leaving unidentified patterns below it. Waiting for him to break.

Seungmin just floats. He focuses on his breaths, observing how his chest moves up and down. Sweat, water, heatstroke, fucking whatever. 

Felix knows what he is doing. 

When their eyes meet, Seungmin knows it’s over for him.

“Please.”

Felix shakes his head. He wants more.

“Please, do fucking something.” 

Still, not enough.

“Fucking hell, do you want me to die?” Is Seungmin really about to drop dead if Felix doesn’t indulge in his pleas? He feels like it. “You want me to tell you, right?” 

Felix doesn’t move by an inch. 

“Fine.” It hurts so much, he might start crying. But that’s exactly what Felix wants. Seungmin is not above it. “Please…” he sniffs. “Don’t leave me here. If you don’t do anything, I will rip my heart out and throw it in your stupidly handsome face. That’s a threat.” Somewhere in the middle of his babbling he loses his character, forgetting that he was supposed to be roleplaying a good guy with an unhealthy obsession. “Please. No, I beg you. Give me something more. You want to fuck me, right? Then fucking do it. Forget the condom, take me raw.”

Felix’s stupidly handsome face twitches with satisfaction. 

“Lee Felix Yongbok, I fucking beg you to fuck me, what else do you want?”

“Yeah, definitely made for me.” Felix’s lips finally let Seungmin’s dick free, but his hand gives it a few pitiful strokes.

Seungmin can finally catch his breath again. He wipes his tears when Felix grabs the lube and then nods when he checks on him. “Just be gentle,” he asks when Felix spreads his legs and lifts his ass for better access. “It’s been a while.”

“Of course, baby.” He spreads the lube over his fingers. “I will be whatever you want me to be.” 

“Just be yourself.”   

It feels vulnerable to be in that position and to ask to stop their little game for a moment, but he needs some comfort, and Felix makes sure it doesn’t get into his head. 

“Whatever you want.” He kisses the inner part of his thigh as he teases him around his entrance. “And as much as I would love to fill you with my cum, it’s better if I turn your offer down for now. Oh no- don’t sulk. I will do it eventually, but it’s too messy.” He slips the first finger inside. “Better?”

It’s a little painful, but Seungmin can manage. At least it distracts him from the way his cock still throbs after ruined orgasms. “Better,” he whispers. 

Felix makes sure that his body is covered with kisses. Hip, the softest part of his belly, the sides of his waist, right under the ribs. Whatever catches his eye, until the burning is gone and Seungmin is ready to ask for more. 

“You are doing great.” Right on cue, Felix adds another finger. He moves gently, as promised, carefully stretching Seungmin, but not making it too enjoyable. Like he knows Seungmin’s limits perfectly. It’s not even that surprising if Seungmin thinks about it. Felix has to have some mind powers.

He wants to say something, maybe a stupid joke to relieve the tension, but nothing sensible comes to his mind. His brain keeps melting into a hazy incoherent slush. Oddly enough, he finds himself liking it. Not having to think and just taking whatever Felix is willing to give him. He likes being spoiled. 

By the time they reach the third finger, Seungmin’s breath is completely calmed down, and his dick, a little cold from Felix’s drying saliva, is finally getting softer. 

And he is more carefree than ever.

“One more time?” Felix teases when he finally crooks his fingers a few times, searching for his prostate. “There we are.” 

“Fuck,” Seungmin bites a moan and swallows it so it can die in his throat, but Felix speeds up, and it comes out anew. Embarrassingly loud. 

His dick starts chubbing again. It’s agonizing, and Felix pays it no attention, which is so frustrating, and it turns Seungmin on so fucking much. 

“Slowly,” Felix chuckles when Seungmin starts uncoordinatedly moving his hips, craving more. “Seungmin it out, like you always do.” 

“Just a little more…” He sobs. 

He is not there yet, but he has been teased for so long that his release might come within a minute. 

Sixty seconds, a little bit of touch and it will be over. 

Felix removes his fingers after fifty-nine seconds and flicks Seungmin’s hand when he is reaching to touch himself.

“No touching. Can you come like that? On my cock only?” Felix asks while he reaches for the condom and unpacks it with his teeth. Giving Seungmin time to decide as he takes off his underwear. Stretching the rubber against his shaft and adding more lube, which Seungmin is very grateful for. 

“I can try,” he answers weakly. He never tried, but it doesn’t seem so out of reach. Especially when he is bent in half, and Felix already lines his dick against him.

“I hope you know,” Felix starts, teasing his hole, and the tone of his words doesn’t match the action. So sincere, so full of trust, and so Felix. The real Felix, who loves the danger and who pretends to be brave even if his voice is shaking. “How much I want you.” 

Seungmin has never worried about that, but it’s nice to hear, he supposes. 

“Do you want me to tell you?” Felix pushes inside.

Seungmin bites his lips at the stretch. Much bigger than fingers, definitely.  Felix goes slowly, offering his shoulder for Seungmin to bite for relief, but when he finally bottoms out completely, he caresses Seungmin’s cheek, devastatingly tenderly. “I can tell you all of that. How much I feel for you.” His voice breaks, and Seungmin doesn’t want both of them to turn into an emotional mess. They will have the rest of the summer for that. It can wait. Seungmin doesn’t mind waiting.

“It’s okay.” He grabs Felix’s face to look into his eyes. Predictably teary. He uses his thumbs to dry it. “I know, Lixie.”

“‘Kay,” he sniffles and carefully moves his hips. “Can I-”

“Please.”

Felix fucks him slowly, his lips never leaving his face, even if he doesn’t always hit the lips. 

Seungmin enjoys the pace, and he enjoys how much Felix’s cock is splitting him in half and how full it makes him feel. How it reaches all the right places. 

They can keep going for a long time, because Seungmin insists on working their stamina, and Felix focuses on the core. A hit and run duo. They were made for this.

“You are so beautiful,” Felix whispers into his lips. “And you are so tight. It feels good. Really, really good. I can’t believe we managed so long without it. I will never let you go after this. I will fuck you to sleep, and I will fuck you right after you wake up. Hell, I will fuck you in your sleep, if you let me.” The idea must be especially exhilarating because he starts pounding into Seungmin with a new rhythm, causing a whole new chant of moans. Seungmin likes that idea too. 

“I want you to be sore all the time. Wincing every time you try to sit down, so everybody knows what I did to you. Do you like that, baby? Tell me.”

“I…” Tears are collecting in Seungmin’s eyes. The whole plan of stopping them from being emotional messes has gone to hell. “I do like that,” he cries. 

He cries from overstimulation and from Felix’s words, and he cries because he loves every second of it, and, most importantly, he cries because he loves Felix too much and can’t even say that properly, too busy clenching around his dick, feeling his orgasm building up with a tidal force.

“Shh, you are good, baby. Hold it. Wait for me. We are almost there. I promise.” Felix kisses the tears off his face. “I promise, just a little longer.” 

Felix rocks his hips frantically and rocks Seungmin's world, making him confident that he can, in fact, come untouched. He just needs a little bit of Felix’s low voice, maybe some reassurance.

“I-”, he hiccups. “I think I’m-”

“Fuck, okay, baby. I am so close too. You can let it go. Trust me. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” 

And it finally comes. In waves of pleasure that spurt out, staining both of their bellies. It was worth the wait. Seungmin doesn’t register much. Maybe it was the heatstroke, after all. All he knows is that Felix carries them through their climaxes. Almost the same way he led them to the sea earlier. Hands clasped together, making sure that Seugmin doesn’t slip. 

🗺️🚘🛣️

“Please tell me you at least have tissues.” Seungmin can’t exactly recall how he found himself back in the passenger seat. He is pretty sure he blacked out for a moment.

Felix is still outside, gathering their clothes from the ground, shaking off dust and sand from their shorts. “Who do you think I am? An amateur?”

Seungmin doesn’t bother with an answer, too distracted by Felix’s neck that is covered in purple bruises and—is that a bite mark on his shoulder? He blinks, heat rising to his cheeks as his gaze lingers just a little too long.

“It’s in the compartment,” Felix instructs with a guilty smile but Seungmin decides that he is too tired to move and Felix notices it instantly, his smile softening into a sigh as he sets the clothes on the hood of the car. “You like it when I take care of you, don’t you, baby?”

“It sounds weird, now,” Seungmin grimaces, but something inside him melts a little, he is just too embarrassed to admit that he likes it. 

“Why? Does it make you blush?” He opens the package of the wet wipes. “Does it make your little dick twitch?” 

“Fuck you,” Seungmin mutters, flinching at the cold tissue swiping against his body. “I thought I was made for you.”

“You are,” Felix nods absent-mindedly, focusing on scrubbing Seungmin’s belly. “Baby,” he adds and laughs when Felix threatens him with a fist. 

“Baby, baby, baby,” he repeats cheerfully when he finishes cleaning, making sure that Seungmin is as cum-free as possible. “Baby.” He takes a used wipe for himself, not bothering half as much. “Baby,” he sings songs when he dresses up both of them. “Baby,” he sighs one last time before dropping into the driver's seat.

The last thing Seungmin sees before closing his eyes is Felix’s bright smile—warm, safe, and so full of sun.

He’s on the verge of dozing off when he hears the quiet sound of sobbing.

“What happened?” Seungmin sits up, alarmed. His voice tightens as he stumbles over the words. “Do you… do you regret it?”

“Nothing happened,” Felix sniffs, wiping his eyes. “I just got emotional.”

“Over sex?”

“Over everything,” Felix murmurs, his voice breaking. “I’m sorry. I just… I just love you so much.”

Seungmin exhales softly, trying to hide the rush of warmth in his chest. “Of course you do.”

“And you love me just as much,” Felix says, his tone somewhere between a statement and a begging

“Mhmm, I do,” Seungmin replies, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Do you want to cuddle?”

“No,” Felix says, shaking his head with a tired laugh. “It won’t be comfy. I want you to fall asleep first, so I can fall asleep too.”

“You are so silly sometimes.” Seungmin stretches his hand above the gearbox.

“You are so silly all the time.” Felix accepts the offer so they can fall asleep holding hands.

🗺️🚘🛣️

Heatstroke, sunscreen, Seungmin thinks he might have died. The sunlight presses againt his eyelids with an annoying persistence and his neck is pulsating in a weird place. 

He is not sure if he can feel his legs so he moves his toes experimentally. 

Once, twice. 

Okay, he can feel his legs. It would be better if he didn’t, though. The soreness in his thighs is burning. 

A song that Seungmin recognizes the melody of, but can’t distinguish words, plays quietly in the background.

The low hum of engine,  

A steady rhythm of tyres gliding on an asphalt. 

He groans before even opening his eyes when he realises he’s still in a car.

“Look, who’s up,” Felix’s voice doesn’t sound half as miserable as Seungmin feels. “If I had known you’d sleep like a baby, I would have taken you on nap rides during those sleepless nights.”

Seungmin blinks groggily.

Felix is driving with a laid-back casualty. With a cocky grin, his right hand wrapped lazily around the stick shift, left elbow resting on a window frame. His sunglasses fall low on his nose and his hair are tied in a half-bun. 

“Where are we?” Seungmin asks with a hoarse voice, eyeing the landscape of an unfamiliar city around them. His gaze lands on the phone mounted on the dashboard. The maps app already guiding their way with a blue line. “Is your phone service back?”

“Nope.” Felix ignores the first question. “I just switched our SIM cards. Honestly? How did we not think about it sooner? It would save our assed. Well, especially your ass.” He sends Seungmin a pointed look. “But nevermind, I filled up the car when you were snoring so cutely. And I brought a charger. Only one, though, we’ll have to share. And guess what?” He tilt his head towards the cup holder, a plastic cup arealy set in. “The employee gave me a discount for the coffee! I wonder if it was because she thought I was handsome or if she could tell I had an eventful night,” he laughs. “She was so sweet it almost made me feel bad for stealing that pack of gummies.” He reaches to the backseat to get the pack and throws it at Seungmin’s lap. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Seungmin, too overwhelmed with the information overload, just grabs the cup from the console, takes a long sip of the iced americano and enjoys how the bitterness overflows his dry mouth. 

It’s refreshing, but he still feels sticky and disgusting. Eventually, he opens the lead and fishes out some ice cubes to suck on. “D’you wan’ me t’ drive?” he asks with his mouth full. 

“Nah,” Felix waves him off. “Take a rest. We have like 15 minutes to the motel, then we’ll shower and I’ll fuck you again,” he explains so casually, Seugmin has a hard time believing it’s not an everyday occurrence. 

Well, it’s going to be an everyday occurrence from now and Seungmin doesn’t mind that all. Maybe the anticipation is not the best part, after all.

“For now, let’s just pray the cops don’t pull us over. I already passed two patrol cars. My hands are sweating like crazy, do you want to see?”

🗺️🚘🛣️

“It was even better, right?” Felix is resting on Seungmin’s bruised chest. Eyes squeezed because the sharp sunlight falls directly onto his face. The open window barely brings any relief to the air; dense with sweat and something that Seungmin believes is mold. Still, he breathes peacefully. 

“Mhmm…” Seungmin hums and lazily brushes Felix’s hair from his forehead. “Better.”

He didn’t think that it was possible to get better, but after they took a shower, Felix laid him down on a mattress and sucked every inch of his skin. Then, took him raw in a missionary. He looked into Seungmin’s eyes and told him how much he loved him. Let go of his hand only after both of them had come. 

“So… Mr, Anticipation, how much time will you make me wait until I can call you my boyfriend?” Felix asks, his lips turning up with tease. 

“None.” Seungmin presses a kiss on the heart-shaped freckle just below Felix’s eye. “I like the sound of it,” he admits, honestly. “It’s the proposal that I will drag out.”, he adds. Just to be difficult.

“You won’t,” Felix sounds so sure of himself, it almost catches Seungmin off guard.

“How do you know?”

“Cause I will propose first,” Felix sticks out his tongue, his voice full of that unshakable confidence that always makes Seungmin’s heart race a little faster. 

What happened to that hare, anyway? 

🗺️🚘🛣️

Not enough sunscreen.

Felix told him to apply at least a little bit and fucker probably was right. Seungmin will admit it later, but, at least, his eyes aren’t burning when he kisses Felix’s back. The view is perfectly clear when he tastes the drop of water running down his spine until it collects on the fuzz on his loins, just above the back dimple. Enticing. 

Maybe it wasn’t water, perhaps it was sweat. Either way, Seungmin smiles to himself before leaving a trail of kisses up his neck. 

They charged both of their phones and switched SIM cards back. Felix keeps watching Tiktoks on Seungmin’s phone, leaving him with his useless one. 

But because his fingers crave something to scroll on too, he unlocks Felix’s phone to search for some offline games. 

“Hey Felix,” Seungmin pokes at his calf. No reaction. “Hey, Felix!” He tries again.

Felix hardly flinches, forcing Seungmin to poke and prod endlessly before a quiet “Hmm?” finally breaks through.

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe your phone has no service because it is on the airplane mode?”

“Yeah, that seems to be the case.” Felix doesn’t lift his head from under the towel. His mumble is muffled by Onew’s voice. Seungmin is about to start hating SHINee. “I turned it on so Chris couldn’t bother me.”

“Chris?” Seungmin lifts his eyebrow. “Your driving examiner?”

“Whose car do you think we are driving all this time?” 

“Does he even know about it?”

“Yeah, I left him a note on the map. I didn’t want cops on my ass again. Honestly, I am surprised he still hasn’t called you. He is smart, he should have figured out that we are together by now” 

Right on cue, Sungmin’s phone starts buzzing. 

“Oh no,” Felix whines. “I jinxed it.”

“Gimme that,” Seungmin yanks the phone out of Felix’s hands, rejects the call without any hesitation. Then he switches to the airplane mode with a decisive tap and throws it on the other side of the towel.

For a moment, neither says anything, letting the silence stretch between them. The waves are crashing in a near distance. 

Seungmin looks around. The shore is untouched, save for the two of them and a few seagulls crying above. The sun is almost setting, hanging above the horizon, lazy and pretty, casting everything in a soft, orange glow. The air feels light, as if the breeze could lift them towards the sky, making every movement feel effortless and free. Seungmin knows they aren’t allowed to be here.

“Weren’t we supposed to skinny-dip today?” he finally says.

Felix drags the towel away from his face. He sticks out his tongue when his eyes are travelling across Seungmin’s body. Lips, neck, chest, ribs, belly… 

“I thought you’d never ask.”