Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

𝜗𝜚

𝜗𝜚

"Yuna, I need you here. It's an important week for my family. Let's just keep this on the down low and break it to them later, okay? There's no reason to make a scene now."

Below him, the soft light of the chandelier spilled over the grand living room in a warm fireplace glow. His family was gathered with glasses of wine in hand, their conversations blending with the faint hum of a holiday jazz classic. The scent of cinnamon and freshly baked cookies surrounded them, and the cozy touches of the season were everywhere—plush blankets draped over armchairs, garlands wrapped around the banisters, and personalized stockings hung with care, all despite it being barely a week into December.

Winter holiday was non negotiable in this household. It wasn't just a season, it moved like a sacred institution. His grandmother was born on the first day of snow, and somehow that fact had snowballed into the holiday becoming the pinnacle of this family calendar. 

The matriarchal traditions ran deep and the expectations ran deeper. No business meeting, no personal conflict, no worldly responsibility could take precedence over grandmother's winter celebrations.

When Sunghoon tied the knot with his boyfriend of three years in the states earlier this year, their grandparents (never ones to settle for missing out) had suggested hosting an intimate reception back in Korea during winter so everyone in the family could come.

Grandmother's birthday, a wedding, and Christmas all rolled into one grand marathon of celebrations. What could be missing? Oh, right. A funeral. Preferably his. Because Jay was at risk of ruining the entire thing.

Jay leaned against the balustrade on the second floor landing, watching them. The phone pressed tightly to his ear, his tie loosened and shirt unbuttoned at the collar.

"Jay, I've already told your assistant and probably half your staff by now that I'm not coming. What part of 'we're no longer engaged' do you not understand?"

Jay turned away from the view of his family, pacing the length of the landing. "I get it, okay? But they don't. They're expecting you, Yuna. My grandmother's been planning this for months. She talks about you like you're already part of the family."

"You can't just call me out of nowhere and expect me to show up and play pretend. Are you crazy?"

"We don't have to pretend that we are okay. Just... be there."

"I'm not part of your perfect little picture anymore, Jay. And it's time everyone else knows too."

Jay stopped mid pace, the weight of his request suddenly feeling unreasonable even to himself. He raked a hand through his hair, his frustration was driven dangerously close to guilt. "Just... this one week. That's all I'm asking. For them. Can't we—"

"Goodbye, Jay."

The line went dead.

Jay lowered the phone, staring at it for a moment. The laughter and chatter from the living room floated up, grounding him. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his shirt and headed back downstairs. 

"Jay!" His grandmother's voice called as he reached the bottom of the stairs. "Where's Yuna? She's coming this week, right?"

Jay froze for a fraction of a second before forcing a polite smile. "She... had something come up last minute. Work, you know how it is during this time of the year."

His grandmother's face fell slightly. "That's a shame... I was really looking forward to seeing her."

"I was too," Jay lied. "Actually, speaking of work, I have to head back to Seoul now. There's a project that needs my attention."

His family groaned in unison, disappointment coloring their expressions. 

His mother gave him a worried look. "You're leaving so soon? Can't you handle it from here?"

Sunghoon lounged against the armrest of the couch, one arm draped casually over Jungwon's shoulders, his fingers drawing lazy patterns along the knit of Jungwon's sweater. In his other hand, he swirled his wine glass. "Isn't that what Sunoo's for? He can't manage it?"

Jungwon, nestled comfortably against Sunghoon's side, his head tilting just enough to rest against Sunghoon's shoulder. His legs were curled up beneath him, and he absentmindedly played with the hem of Sunghoon's sleeve. "Exactly," Jungwon teased, "What's the point of having him if you still have to take care of everything yourself?"

"I wish it was that simple," Jay said, dodging their gaze. "But you know how it is."

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow and took a slow sip of his wine. "Sounds like an excuse."

Jungwon chuckled at that. "You'll still make it to the reception, though, right?"

"Of course. I wouldn't miss it."

The answer seemed to satisfy them and Jay wasted no time excusing himself. Grabbing his coat, he stepped outside, the night air ruthlessly biting at his face as he crossed the cobblestone driveway.

He stopped short in front of his black Maserati Quattroporte, only to find it blocked by his family's cars from all sides. His gaze shifted, landing on a red Porsche 911 Carrera 4 GTS Cabriolet—Sunghoon's little baby—parked apart and practically glowing under the warm estate lights, probably from all the rigorous polishing Sunghoon so religiously did for it.

Jay turned to a nearby house helper loading luggage into another car. "Get me Sunghoon's keys."

He hesitated. "Mr. Sunghoon's keys?"

"Yes," Jay replied, pointing at the Porsche. "I'll handle him later."

The helper nodded and hurried inside. When he returned with the keys, Jay took them with a quick, "Thanks," and tossed his coat and briefcase into the passenger seat.

Sliding into the driver's seat, Jay adjusted the mirrors, his hands gliding over the leather steering wheel. Sunghoon would definitely throw a fit when he found out. But right now? Jay didn't care. Sunghoon could use his car for the rest of the week.

Shifting the gear, he eased out and toward the long driveway that led out of the estate.

𝜗𝜚 

Jay didn't mean to stop. But halfway to Seoul, the car's GPS decided to quit on him. The car slowed to a stop at the edge of a lively, slightly sketchy part of town. Neon signs buzzed overhead, people milling about, and loud music spilling out of bars. It wasn't an area he was familiar with.

Fumbling with his phone for directions, Jay glanced up, and his gaze caught on a figure leaning casually against a scrambler motorbike near a convenience store. The man's leather jacket clung perfectly to his frame, paired with washed out baggy jeans that had seen better days. Tousled purplish-red hair fell effortlessly across his forehead, catching electric blue reflections of the bar's neon signs. A lit cigarette dangled lazily from his lips. He looked careless, confident, almost detached from the chaos around him.

"Need something?" the man asked.

Jay blinked, realizing he'd been staring. He forced his gaze back to his phone. "No. Just checking my directions."

The man raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. "Fancy car like that in this area? You're lost." He exhaled a plume of smoke, snubbing the cigarette out with his boot whilst straightening up. He stood taller than Jay'd thought.

"I'm trying to find the way back to Seoul."

"And you stopped here of all places?" Jay sensed the incredulity that accompanied his soft laughter. He came closer, propping an arm against the car door like he owned the thing. "Alright, I'll help you. For a fee."

"A fee? For what? Pointing me to the nearest freeway?"

"For directions and making sure you don't end up robbed. You stick out like a sore thumb in this part of town." He rapped his knuckles lightly on the convertible's frame. "Deal?"

Jay sighed. "Fine. How much?"

The man tilted his head in mock seriousness. "Hmm. Normally, I charge hourly. But for you? 100,000 won and dinner."

"You're joking."

"Do I look like I'm joking?" He straightened, tossing his keys from one hand to the other. "I'm starving. Let's go."

For reasons Jay couldn't quite explain, and perhaps against his better judgment, he agreed. Five minutes later, they were seated in a nearby 24 hours self serve instant ramyeon shop. Jay only drank water while the man devoured an instant ramyeon like it was his last meal.

"So," the man said between bites, finally introducing himself. "I'm Heeseung. What's your name?"

Jay arched a brow, momentarily distracted by the soup dribbling down his chin. "I'm Jay."

Heeseung wiped it away with the back of his hand, and repeated, "Jay," as if testing the name on his tongue. His gaze flicked over Jay. "Let me guess, lawyer?"

"Not quite."

"You sure? You've got that sharp useless look on you."

Jay's lips twitched amusedly. "Unfortunately, I am sure."

"Banker?"

"I'm a businessman."

"Wow, that's... vague. What kind of businessman?"

"Corporate acquisitions and restructuring."

"Sounds like a fancy term for unemployed rich people who wear ties for fun." 

"You could think of it that way." Jay reclined slightly, folding his arms. "What do you do?"

Heeseung paused mid bite, his chopsticks hovering over his plate. Carefully, he set them down, the corners of his mouth curling into a sly grin. "You really want to know?"

Jay gave a small nod, his initial disinterest giving way to mild curiosity.

Heeseung inched forward, resting his elbows on the table as though bracing for the shocking revelation he was about to deliver. "I'm a male prostitute. Rent boy. Gigolo."

Jay blinked once, twice, then simply nodded. "Oh."

"That's it? Just 'oh'?" Heeseung asked, head inclined away. "No dramatic gasp or sudden religious urge to pray for my soul?"

"I don't really see the point in judging someone for how they make a living."

Heeseung's smirk faltered, replaced by a flicker of amusement. "Huh."

Jay shrugged. "Besides, you don't seem the type to care what others think."

"True," Heeseung grinned. "I just wrapped up for the day. I usually work a few blocks over by that nightclub with the fountain. Tourists tip well."

"And this?" He gestured around the dingy ramyeon shop.

"Comfort place. Anything that's not instant here is terrible, but the vibe's immaculate. Helps me unwind."

"You don't strike me as someone who needs to unwind." 

Heeseung raised a brow, his grin turning lopsided. "What, you think I'm just some devil-may-care guy riding around on a motorbike, living the dream?"

"Aren't you?"

Heeseung's smile imperceptibly turned wistful. "Maybe. Depends on the day. What about you? You living your dream?"

The word yes ready on his tongue like a force of habit, but he retracted. Lying to a stranger felt unnecessary, especially one he was unlikely to see again. "Not exactly."

"Figures." Heeseung grinned. "People like you are always too busy making money to figure out what you actually want."

Jay met his gaze, curious. "Do you know what you want?"

"Sure," Heeseung said breezily. "Right now? Another ramyeon. Later? Who knows?"

"I thought you'd have a bigger picture."

"I do." Heeseung finished up his soup before he continued, "It's just made up of smaller, day to day pictures. You don't finish a masterpiece in one sitting. You just keep adding brushstrokes."

"And what does your masterpiece look like so far?"

Heeseung smirked, leaning back lazily against the chair. "Messy, but it's mine."

𝜗𝜚

Heeseung swung a leg over his motorbike, straddling it. He glanced over at Jay, who was standing by the car. "Alright, here's the plan," he began, snapping his helmet strap into place. "I'll ride ahead, and you can follow me. I'll lead you straight to the nearest freeway. Easy."

Jay was about to climb into his car when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out, glancing at the screen. A text from Yuna flashed across.

"Stop texting me. I'm tired of this. I care about your family but move on, please."

He stalled, hand hovering over the car door handle. He looked up at Heeseung, now adjusting his gloves. The grip on the car door faltered.

"Actually…" The word left his mouth before he fully registered the impulse.

Heeseung turned, tilting his helmeted head. "Yeah?"

"I was wondering if you'd consider spending the night with me."

Heeseung stopped mid motion, one hand on his bike's handlebar. "I charge by the hour, rich boy. You sure you can last that long?"

Jay reclined against the car, both corners of his mouth lifting in a relaxed smile. "Not what I meant. I just like your company. But I'd still pay you professionally."

"Ah, sure. That's exactly what's going to happen."

"I'm serious."

"Oh, I believe you. That's what makes it so funny." He shook his head, letting out an incredulous laugh. "You really wanna blow that much cash on me? I mean, I get it—I'm pretty, but seriously? A whole night?" He arched a skeptically intrigued eyebrow. "I'm not some kind of emotional support escort. I'm fun, but I'm not that fun."

"I'm not expecting anything you're not offering."

Heeseung snorted. "Past midnight, my rates go up. Premium pricing."

"Ballpark it for me." 

Heeseung stepped off his bike, his lips curled into a teasing smile as he reached for the pen tucked neatly into Jay's coat pocket. "Alright, Mr. Corporate Acquisitions," he drawled, letting his fingers linger just a bit too long as he plucked the pen free. "Let's see how serious you are about buying my time."

He caught Jay's hand, his calloused but gentle hand. Heeseung tilted his head to meet Jay's gaze with a smile as he scribbled a number across Jay's palm, with a couple extra zeros on purpose, expecting Jay to flinch or laugh—or maybe backpedal entirely. But Jay didn't even blink.

It only took a glance for Jay to seal the deal. "Done,"

Heeseung's brain stalled, completely forgetting to keep his expression neutral.

"You're serious," It wasn't a question, he was confirming the absurdity of the situation for himself.

"I don't make offers I don't mean."

Heeseung shook his head, letting out a low chuckle that was equal parts amused and disbelieving. "This is too easy. Makes me feel like I should've asked for more."

"I'm sure you'll let me know if I underpaid."

"Damn right I will."

After Heeseung left his bike in the care of a friend's shop with a cheeky warning to guard it with their life, he slid into the car. Throughout the drive, he stretched his hand out into the icy night air, grinning at the sharp cold sting against his fingertips. 

Jay glanced over, already fiddling with the control for the convertible top. "I can close it if it's too cold."

"Are you kidding? I've never been in a car like this. Feels like something out of a movie."

"Suit yourself."

They hit the open road, and Heeseung kept craning his neck to take in every detail of the Porsche. The way the leather smelled, the hum of the engine, the gleaming dashboard—everything was pristine. He let out an impressed whistle. "This thing's a dream. What's it like behind the wheel?"

Jay glanced sideways. "Why don't you find out?"

"For real?"

"It's not my car, I don't care."

Heeseung burst into laughter. "You're insane." But when Jay pulled over and unbuckled his seatbelt, Heeseung wasn't about to miss the chance.

Switching into the driver's seat, Heeseung ran his hands reverently over the steering wheel, his eyes sparkling. 

"You realize you're trusting me, a complete stranger, with a car worth more than my entire life, right?"

"Just don't crash," Jay quipped.

With a wicked grin, Heeseung shifted into gear, and the car roared to life as he pressed down on the accelerator. The burst of speed set them free, Heeseung half in disbelief, and Jay, well, he was just entertained to see such unbridled joy coming from a person.

"Holy shit, this thing flies!" Heeseung's voice carried away by the wind as they zoomed down the highway. 

Heeseung glanced over at Jay, multiple times while still keeping his eyes on the road. "You're either the coolest guy I've ever met, or the dumbest. Can't decide which."

"Probably both."

"Fuck, I'm never gonna forget this!"

Jay leaned his elbow against the door. Although his smile was subdued, it was still just as genuine, "Me too."

𝜗𝜚 

Jay's accommodation was a penthouse in the heart of Seoul's business district, the kind with marble floors, chandeliers, and staff who greeted Jay with the kind of trained sophistication that only money could buy.

Heeseung trailed a few steps behind, taking it all in awe. "So this is how the one percent lives, huh? Fancy."

Jay glanced back, one brow raised. "You've never been in a place like this?"

"Oh, sure," Heeseung replied sarcastically, "All the time."

They crossed the grand lobby, curious eyes turned toward him, subtle at first but growing bolder. A couple seated near the entrance exchanged murmurs behind their hands. Even the staff, though supposedly trained in discretion, couldn't entirely conceal their curiosity.

The effect was clear—he didn't belong here, and everyone knew it.

Heeseung didn't falter. He met every stare, daring anyone to verbalize their judgment aloud. He wasn't ashamed; he wasn't uncomfortable. If anything, he seemed to relish the discomfort he inspired in others.

They reached the elevator and Jay took out a black metal keycard to scan it. With it, the doors slid open with a quiet chime.

When they reached Jay's suite, Heeseung paused at the threshold, leaning against the doorframe to take a look around. "Damn. This is nice."

The room was as extravagant as the rest of the hotel, if not more. With floor-to-ceiling windows offering a view of the town's twinkling holiday lights, plush furniture in muted, tasteful dark tone, and a bar stocked with liquor that looked like it belonged in a collector's gallery.

Jay slipped off his jacket and draped it over a chair. Heeseung headed straight for the bar, his eyes scanning the collection of bottles before picking one up. He turned it in his hands, eyebrows lifting at the label. 

"This is probably worth a fortune. Mind if I try?"

"Help yourself."

Heeseung poured himself a drink. "Is this your regular lifestyle, or are you just trying to impress me?"

Jay loosened his tie and unfastened the cuffs of his shirt, tossing them into a glass bowl on a side table. "No one to impress. I travel a lot for work, so I stay in places like this when I can. Usually, I'm based in Seattle. I'm only in Seoul for business… and this family thing. My cousin's wedding reception."

"Sounds fancy," Heeseung said, leaning one elbow on the counter. "Big deal?"

Jay dropped onto one of the couches. "Big enough."

"Do you have a wife? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?" 

"Fiance." Jay then clarified a beat later, "Ex-fiance."

"And where is this ex-fiance right now?"

"She moved out of our place last week. She's in New York now, where she's always belonged. Or not. I'm not sure."

"What happened?" 

"Apparently being with me was too suffocating."

"Suffocating?" Heeseung repeated. "What does that even mean?"

"She said I had a way of making everything too controlled. Too rigid. Like there wasn't any room for her to breathe. She wanted more freedom." He exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "I thought being dependable was the answer to that, like… a nice cushion to her freedom? Turns out, I was just holding on too tight."

"Yeah, well, dependability is nice. But sometimes people just want to feel alive."

Jay chuckled. "I bet you'd know a lot about that."

Heeseung took a sip, his eyes widening slightly. Relishing the taste of smooth liquor coating his taste buds. "Okay, I get it now. Rich people don't just drink expensive stuff because they can, it actually tastes better." He set the glass down with an easy grin. "You know, I don't usually do… this. My usual's more like motels or those crappy 'bedroom' setups in apartment basements. Cheap, functional, no frills. This?" He gestured around the suite. "This is luxury."

Jay also glanced around and pursed his lips. "You get used to it."

"See, that's where we're different. You get used to it. Me? I'd be milking every drop of its worth. Room service every day, just to see how many options I can cram into one meal."

"You're welcome to try."

"Oh, I will," Heeseung said, flopping onto the couch beside him and grabbing the tablet off the coffee table. With a flick of his wrist, he started scrolling through the menu. "Caviar? Filet mignon? Dessert that looks like an art sculpture? Sign me up."

Jay laughed. "You're not exactly shy, are you?"

"When you work this kind of job, you learn quick. Timid doesn't pay the bills." His grin turned wry. "I'm not exactly 'high-end escort' material, you know? But women, especially older women, are usually… more considerate. Some of them even take me to nicer motels if they're feeling generous."

Jay's brow furrowed, though he didn't interrupt. Heeseung continued in casual honesty, "I don't mind, really. Simple is better. It's straightforward. Less pressure, less pretense. The hustle's easier that way." He took another sip of his drink and leaned back, his gaze fixed on the glittering view outside the window. "This, though? It's fun. Luxurious. But I don't need it."

Jay studied him for a moment before steering the conversation. "Do you prefer working with women?"

"Definitely," Heeseung said without hesitation. "Not saying guys are all bad, but women? They're... softer. Easier to read. They don't treat you like trash just because they've had a bad day. Most of them, anyway."

"I can see that. I wouldn't trust men either."

"But you trust me."

"Most men," Jay corrected.

The silence that followed was comfortable. Heeseung tipped his head back against the couch, a small smile playing on his lips. "You know, you're surprisingly easy to talk to for someone who probably owns, like, a yacht. I always figured guys like you would be... I don't know, out of touch. What would we even talk about?"

Jay raised an eyebrow. "But I don't own a yacht."

"See? Humble and rich. A rare breed." Heeseung's grin widened, and they both laughed.

Jay's gaze softened the moment he looked at Heeseung. "And you're... a breath of fresh air."

"Different good or different bad?"

"Good." 

Heeseung chuckled, shaking his head as he looked away. "You need to go out more."

"I like it inside." 

Heeseung rolled his eyes. "Don't get used to it. I'm not sticking around forever."

"Maybe." Jay hummed. "But tonight, you are."

"What are you going to do to me tonight, then?"

"You tell me. I didn't plan any of this. I didn't plan you." 

His phone buzzed and they both flinched. 

Jay reached for the phone, glancing at the screen. "Sorry. I need to take this."

"Who calls at this hour?"

"Work. It's morning in Seattle." Jay was already halfway to his room, phone against his ear. "Order some room service if you want. It might take a while."

Heeseung's eyes followed him until Jay disappeared into his room. "Guess the rich don't sleep either."

𝜗𝜚 

By the time Jay stepped out of his room after the long and exhausting phone call, the coffee table was cluttered with plates of gourmet desserts, half finished entrees, and even a bottle of champagne Heeseung had found and popped open.

His leather jacket was tossed carelessly across the back of the couch. The TV was on, its volume low, playing a random American sitcom Heeseung had no intention of following as he was now sitting comfortably on the balcony cast stone balustrade, a plate balanced in one hand as he forked up a dessert. 

Jay stepped out onto the balcony, hands in his pockets, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The cool night breeze brushed against his skin, but he didn't feel it. He was too focused on Heeseung.

"That looks like a lawsuit waiting to happen."

"Boring people worry about lawsuits. Interesting people make stories." He slid off the balustrade with grace. "Want a bite?"

"No, thank you." 

Heeseung gestured toward the skyline with his fork. "Have you seen this? It's so beautiful. I always heard Seoul wasn't as amazing as people said it was. But from up here, hundreds of feet above everything, it looks... fucking beautiful. I wonder how much of this world I'm missing out because I can't afford it."

"I haven't really gone out much since I got here," he admitted after a moment. "Mostly just come here to sleep."

"You really should go out more."

Jay's eyes lingered on Heeseung. "Maybe."

"So," he asked, glancing at Jay. "What was that about Seattle? Work stuff?"

"Just... work."

Heeseung tilted his head, curious. "Is that what you do every day?"

"Pretty much. And more."

"You're really successful, aren't you? Your parents must be really proud of you."

Jay stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets, it was chilly. His gaze dropped to the twinkling street far below, smiling. "I hope they are." His eyes then fell on Heeseung's bare arms. "Aren't you cold?"

"A little," he tipped his head sideways. "But that jacket? Too stiff, too confining. I'd rather be uncomfortable than restrained."

Jay's lips curved in a faint, knowing smile. "That your philosophy? Uncomfortable is better than restrained?"

"Depends. What's the point of freedom if you're too scared to feel anything? Cold, wind, heat—it's all part of being alive."

"I thought recklessness was just another way to distract yourself."

Heeseung's eyes gleamed with a sharper edge. "Is that what you think I am? Distracted?"

"More like avoiding something." Jay shrugged, his stance unruffled. "I've met people like you. Though maybe I'm wrong. You seem like the type who leans into chaos, not away from it."

"Chaos keeps things interesting," Heeseung replied smoothly, stepping closer. "I mean, take people like you for example. Just… look at you. I bet you've got more chaos than you let on."

Jay chuckled. "You like to bet on people you just met?"

"Only when I'm right."

"And you think you're right about me?"

"I'd bet everything I've got." Heeseung tilted his head, studying Jay. "You've got that whole stiff… rigid… stuck in your ways vibe. But plans fall apart, don't they? You ever let things just happen?"

Jay met his gaze. "Sometimes. But I prefer when things happen for a reason."

"Predictable," Heeseung said with a teasing scoff. "But maybe I'll be the reason this time."

Jay stepped past him, heading inside. "I don't make bets unless the odds are worth it."

Heeseung followed. "Oh, I'm worth it."

Jay paused by the couch, picking up a blanket from the couch to hand it out. "And modest, too."

Heeseung ignored it, hip perched on the couch armrest. "Modesty's overrated."

Jay's gaze lingered, drifting to Heeseung's lips before meeting his eyes again.

"What?" he teased, "Is there something on my face?"

Jay stepped closer as he tipped Heeseung's chin up with a gentle hand. "Not yet."

Heeseung's eyes flicked to Jay's hand, then back to his face, his grin turning daring. "Well, don't hold back now."

"I won't."

The word his lips before he had time to think. He told himself he was just distracting himself with a taste of a life outside of this tedious norm, there was nothing else to it. He should have looked away, but he didn't. Couldn't. Heeseung didn't either.

What was this? Curiosity? Desperation? Maybe both. His life had been a series of clean cut choices, every decision tied to some sense of duty, propriety, or expectation. A perfect little picture, as Yuna put it. But this, this moment, this night, this man, wasn't a clean cut choice or expected. And that was the point, wasn't it? A wild card. Something to prove, maybe. Or something to feel.

From the way Heeseung would dress, the ear piercings he adorned himself with, the air he brought himself in, he looked completely out of place in this place—and yet, right now, he was the only thing in it that felt real to Jay.

He wanted to ask Heeseung something but the words wouldn't come. He cradled Heeseung's face, his thumb tracing the outline of his lips. He can feel the plumpness of them, no doubt made sweeter by the desserts and champagne. 

He guided Heeseung's head up to meet his gaze. "What can you do?"

"Anything but a kiss on the lips."

Heeseung's fingers brushed against Jay's shoulder as he gently pushed him back towards the sofa behind him. Jay gave in, allowing himself to be led until he was seated and Heeseung straddled him. Jay's hands naturally found their way to his hips, softly caressing his thighs. 

Slowly, Heeseung dragged his tongue along the length of Jay's neck before moving up to nibble on his earlobe. He began to roll his hips in a tantalizing rhythm, teasingly brushing against Jay's growing erection through their clothes.

Jay rolled his head back, inhaling deeply as Heeseung made his way down to kneel between his legs. With each button he unfastened on Jay's shirt, Jay felt himself getting hotter, and when he reached for his belt and pants, Jay's breath caught.

Heeseung wrapped his hand around Jay's length, stroking slowly. "You ever wonder what it'd be like to let go completely?"

"Only every damn day."

"Let me show you."

With a wicked grin, Heeseung dragged his tongue along the underside of Jay's shaft. The sensation of hot, wet suction caused Jay to gasp, his hands coming to rest on Heeseung's head, fingers tangling in his hair.

"Fuck," Jay breathed, his hips instinctually thrusting forward, seeking more of it. "You're good at this."

Heeseung hummed in response, his tongue swirling around the tip, tasting the precum that had already formed. He worked his way down, taking more of Jay into his mouth with each push, savoring the feel of him filling his mouth.

"Suck harder."

Heeseung obliged, increasing the pressure, using his lips and tongue to coax every drop of pleasure from Jay's throbbing member.

Jay's head fell back, his eyes closing as he surrendered to the sensation. Under Heeseung's ministrations, he was unraveling. "God, Heeseung… fuck."

He sucked and lapped the tip. "Open your eyes. Look at me."

Jay's gaze locked onto Heeseung's in pure unadulterated lust.

"Watch me." He began bobbing his head steadily as he milked Jay with his throat. 

"That's it," Jay groaned. "Almost there..."

Heeseung pulled back, teasing the head with his tongue before taking Jay deep again. Jay's grip tightened, his body trembling as he reached the edge.

"I'm gonna come," Jay panted, "Don't stop."

Heeseung didn't. He maintained his pace with ferocity, driving Jay closer to the edge.

Jay's orgasm ripped through him, his body convulsing as waves of ecstasy crashed over him. He came hard. Heeseung pulled off, releasing Jay with a wet pop, letting Jay finish on his face before swallowing it down greedily. 

Their eyes met, a smug smile playing on Heeseung's lips.

"You're really pretty," Jay breathed out, wiping a trail of cum on Heeseung's face with his thumb. "Angelface."

Heeseung smiled because he knew a lie for what it was. A tender blasphemy. A big sinful lie. 

"I know what I am," he said, "My wings were burnt a long time ago."

𝜗𝜚 

Morning came. Jay sat on the edge of the bed, his gaze fixed on Heeseung's sleeping form. His face looked so much softer in repose. His tousled hair framed his features endearingly and Jay wasn't ready to look away from it. Jay chuckled quietly to himself before rising, grabbing a robe, and slipping out of the bedroom.

In the dining area, the breakfast spread he ordered awaited—croissants, fresh fruit, and steaming coffee, all meticulously arranged. Jay picked up his tablet as he settled into a chair, sipping coffee and scrolling through emails. 

An hour later, Jay stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his cufflinks as he smoothed the lapel of his tailored suit. The door behind him creaked open, and Heeseung emerged, shirtless, wearing only the pair of sweatpants Jay had lent him. His hair was even more messy than last night after Jay tangled his fingers between it.

"Why didn't you wake me up? I overslept." He stretched lazily and Jay glanced from the mirror before turning to face him.

"You deserved the rest."

Heeseung snorted and padded toward the bathroom. "I'll shower and get out of your hair as soon as I can."

"No rush," Jay replied, "You can eat breakfast first."

"Sick," Heeseung made a small fist pumping motion and made a quick u-turn to the dining area. Jay smiled a little.

Jay joined Heeseung at the table, his tie undone and draped loosely around his neck. He scrolled through his tablet to make a quick check before he'd leave for the meeting. 

Heeseung noticed the undone tie. Without a word, he stuffed half a croissant in his mouth, stood up, and plopped himself onto Jay's lap. Jay barely reacted, still focused on his screen, as Heeseung grabbed both ends of the tie and started tying it.

Jay finally glanced up at him, arching a brow. "Comfortable?"

"Very," Heeseung mumbled around the croissant, his fingers deftly working on the tie. He plucked the pastry from his mouth and peeked at the tablet. "The sun's barely out and you're already working."

"My business doesn't run itself." Jay looked down at the tie and nodded appreciatively, his arm slipping around Heeseung's waist. "Thank you."

"Hey, is it okay if I use that big bathtub before I leave?"

"Sure," Jay said, then added casually, "I'll arrange a driver for you, too." He tapped Heeseung's waist twice in a polite nudge.

Heeseung hopped off Jay's lap and Jay stood to grab his briefcase and coat. "You heading out already?" 

Jay smiled faintly as he placed some cash on the dining table. "Yeah. Work calls." He adjusted his jacket. "You're off the clock too."

Heeseung laughed and made his way toward the bathroom. "Thank you."

Jay picked up a call when he saw Sunghoon's name flashing on the screen.

"So... about your car," Jay began playfully.

"I'm holding your car hostage. You'll get it back when I get mine, and if there's even the tiniest scratch, I'm scratching yours right back."

"Dramatic."

The line went quiet for a second. "So, hiding the breakup from grandma? From me?"

Jay stiffened, the life on his face draining away. "What do you mean?"

"Grandma called Yuna because you've been acting really weird. The engagement's been over for months, hasn't it?"

Jay pressed the heel of his palm against his temple, closing his eyes. "She told grandma?"

"Yes, and you should've told her yourself. Grandma thought the two of you were keeping it secret because of the pressure she was putting on you. She feels guilty."

"It wasn't her fault. I just... wasn't ready to deal with it yet."

"Pretending everything was fine might've been easier for you, but you don't get to do that at everyone else's expense."

"Sorry. I didn't think that through."

"Anyway, Yuna is still invited. Grandma said it'd be rude to uninvite her after all these years. Even told her she could bring her new boyfriend. But if you're against it, I'm sure grandma would reconsider it."

"Wait—new boyfriend?"

"You didn't know?" Sunghoon sounded genuinely surprised. "I thought you two still talked."

"Yeah, no. We haven't exactly been on great terms lately."

"Clearly," Sunghoon said dryly. "If it makes you feel any better, grandma's more concerned about you than anything else."

Now Jay felt guilty. "I'll call her."

"Good," After a pause, he suggested, "You should bring a date to the party."

"I'm not seeing anyone. I'll be fine attending alone."

Sunghoon scoffed. "Alone? While your ex-fiance shows up with her new guy? What is this, my wedding party or your pity party?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll stay lowkey."

"Look, I know plenty of girls who'd gladly be your date. Just say the word, and I'll call someone who'll make you look good and keep grandma off your back."

Jay paced toward the door. "Thanks, but I'll pass. I don't need to parade someone around just to save face."

"Suit yourself." Sunghoon's said. "Now, about that car. Remember. Scratch it, and I swear I'll turn yours into a Jackson Pollock painting."

Jay was one step away from leaving, when a muffled singing voice caught his attention. He halted, tilting his head toward the bathroom. 

Curious, Jay walked closer and peeked through the partially open door. There was Heeseung, in a tub overflowing with bubbles, headphones clamped over his ears, and a showerhead clutched like a microphone. His eyes were closed, his free hand slicing dramatically through the air as he belted out Can't Feel My Face by The Weeknd.

His first instinct was to laugh, but he was caught off guard by how good Heeseung sounded. Almost too perfect for a bathroom performance.

"Who's that singing?" Sunghoon's voice crackled through the phone. "And where are you?"

Jay glanced back at Heeseung, a small smile tugged at his lips as an idea formed. "No need to call your friends. I know someone who'll come with me."

"Bullshit. Who—" Sunghoon began, but Jay had already ended the call.

He leaned against the doorframe, one hand in his pocket, watching Heeseung finish his concert. "Nice voice. Ever consider a music career?"

Heeseung jolted, nearly dropping the showerhead as he whipped his headphones off. "You really need to learn how to knock, man." he grumbled, sinking lower into the bubbles.

Jay chuckled, inviting himself in. "Maybe. Are you free this week?"

"Why?"

"There will be parties. You're coming with me."

Heeseung raised a brow. "With you…?"

"You're my date."

A slow incredulous grin spread across Heeseung's face. "Wait, are you catching feelings for me?"

Jay stood near the sink, leaning against the countertop. Heeseung's damp hair clung to his forehead, and his chest was barely visible under the foam, one arm draped over the side of the tub, a smirk already forming as he caught Jay's eyes lingering.

"I have a business proposal," Jay began.

"A business proposal?" He barked a laugh. "What the hell, sure. Lay it on me."

Jay pushed off the counter and faced Heeseung directly. "I want to hire you for the rest of the week. Be my date. For my family's holiday gathering and my cousin's wedding."

Heeseung stopped mid laugh. "Wait, hold on." He straightened up slightly, water sloshing around him. "You're serious?"

Jay nodded.

Snorting, Heeseung retreated, crossing his arms over his chest. "Okay, I gotta ask—why me? You're telling me a guy like you can't find a date? Cause I'm sure you could walk into any room and have people throwing themselves at you. For free. "

"Because I don't want the complications. I need someone professional—no strings, no misunderstandings. I don't have time for anything else."

Heeseung studied him through narrowed eyes. "How much are we talking here?"

"You tell me. Ballpark it for me."

"Alright, let's start with what you gave me last night—" He held up a soapy finger. "—and double it. Because now you're hiring me for my days too, not just my nights. And, for the record, I'm expensive."

Jay reached into his pocket for his phone. "Fair enough." 

Heeseung was too busy laughing while Jay typed a figure in his banking app and crouched down beside the bathtub to show it.

The moment Heeseung's eyes landed on the number, his jaw dropped. "Holy shit. You're messing with me, right?"

"You said you're expensive."

"Yeah, but that's... insane." Heeseung gave him a once over, as if waiting for the punchline because this had to be a joke. "Are you serious? You're really willing to drop that much money for a week with me?"

"Do you need more?" Jay asked simply, ignoring the comical disbelief radiating off of Heeseung. 

"Are you always this casual about throwing money around?"

Jay allowed himself a faint smile. "You're a special case."

Heeseung padded closer to the edge of the tub, resting his crossed arms there. His face was only inches from Jay's. "Let me warn you, I'm not the type to sit around quietly and just take orders. If you're hiring me for a whole week, you're getting all of me. The good and the bad."

"I think I can handle that." Jay reached over and flicked a foam off Heeseung's cheek with his thumb. "As long as you stay close and be my pretty little thing."

𝜗𝜚 

"I won't be back until later tonight." Jay extended the credit card and Heeseung reached for it. "While I'm gone, take the day to get yourself something nice."

"Nice how, exactly?"

"Classy." Jay openly stared at Heeseung's figure. "Elegant. Nothing too flashy."

Heeseung snickered. "So basically, anything that doesn't scream... me?"

"Preferably," Jay replied, his lips curling into the faintest smirk in return. "Start with B&Tailor or Assisi for suits—they'll know what to do. And get some jewelry, maybe cufflinks. Whatever catches your eye."

A low whistle escaped Heeseung, trailing Jay toward the door. "Anything I want, huh? You sure about that?"

"Anything."

"For the record. I would've done this for less money."

Jay paused, half-turned. "And I would have paid more."

Heeseung folded his arms, bathrobe sliding treacherously low on one shoulder. It drew Jay's gaze for a fraction of a second, just long enough to count as his victory. "I'll do such a good job you will not want to let me go."

"I know you will. But I will let you go."

It sounded like a challenge to Heeseung's ears. "I can't decide if you're a fool, a saint, or just dangerously bored."

"Why decide on one?"

Heeseung watched him disappear down the hallway, then snickered. "Dangerously bored," he muttered. "Definitely dangerously bored." Closing the door behind him, he flopped onto the bed and started jumping on it. "Ten. Million. Won!"

His ringing phone was in his hand before the last bounce settled. "Guess what?" 

"Where the hell are you?" Jake yelled to his ear. "Yeonjun says you're in Seoul? Are you ditching your shift again?" Heeseung could tell that Jake's rolling his eyes at him. "You better shower and get dressed. I don't care if you're with some millionaire or rolling in a ditch, just show up for your fucking shift. We're short handed for lunch service."

"Remember that Porsche from last night?" Heeseung teased, twirling the black credit card between his fingers.

"Hell yeah, everybody saw that."

"He took me to his place."

"No fucking way. Spill. Details. Now. How old is this guy? He some creepy old dude?"

"Nope," Heeseung interrupted, grinning. "Young. Like, really good looking. Corporate type. Something about acquiring companies. Big business energy. And guess what? It's not even to overcompensate for the size of his dick."

"Uh huh," Jake said, drawing out the syllables. "And you're telling me this random rich guy just... what? Picked you up and offered ten million won for a week?"

"Literally picked me up on the street. Literally. Like some weird romcom meet cute. I also got drive his Porsche, it was fucking dope."

Jake's laugh crackled through the phone. "What if he's a fraud?"

"He gave me a credit card to go shopping. Pretty sure a guy who can do that isn't hurting for cash."

"Nah. Too good to be true."

"The card's got his full name. Jay Park. It's a foreign bank. Fancy, right?" Heeseung flopped dramatically onto the bed again, holding the sleek black credit card up to the light. "Anyway. I need to go shopping now."

𝜗𝜚 

Cheongdam-dong hit different when you've got a black credit card and zero consequences.

Heeseung burst into the first high end boutique and the salespeople exchanged looks, this wasn't their typical customer.

First round? Pure Heeseung. Distressed leather jacket that looked like it had factory-fabricated stories to tell. Ripped jeans of fake street rebellion. A mesh top that showed just enough skin to be interesting.

"Oh, this is so me," he murmured, whipping out his phone for a series of increasingly dramatic poses. One hand on the hip. Tongue out. Lip bite. Sleazy wink.

The next rack was a complete 180. Blazers in muted tones. Crisp white shirts that looked like they'd never been touched by real life. Perfectly pressed trousers with "old money" all over it. It made Heeseung want to laugh.

He stepped into a midnight blue suit and the mirror didn't show Heeseung. It showed some alternate universe version of himself. Polished. Refined. The kind of guy who probably knew which fork to use at a fancy restaurant.

He did a slow runway turn, barely recognizing himself. 

"I look like I could buy and sell entire companies," Heeseung said to his reflection, striking a boardroom pose. He stifled a laughter behind his fist. "Shit, I am Jay. Hello there."

Next are polos that Heeseung knew as the uniform of Instagram's wealthy elite. Heeseung grabbed a khaki one, then another in a muted sage green. With an imaginary golf club in hand (actually just a hanger he'd grabbed), he started swinging. "Nice shot, Johnson!"

He struck another pose, one hand on an imaginary golf cart, the other adjusting an invisible cap. "Darling, we should discuss the Samsung investment," he drawled in his best rich guy impression.

Next came a light blue button down with a cream knit sweater draped over his shoulders. He grabbed an invisible wine glass, swirling it with the expertise of someone who definitely did not know how to actually swirl wine.

"Market's looking interesting this quarter," he said to his invisible business associates, lifting an eyebrow. So utterly ridiculous, that the moment he caught his own eye in the mirror and burst out laughing again.

By noon, he strutted out of the store, designer brand shopping bags dangling from both arms. 

"I'm living," he muttered to himself, "I am literally living my best life right now."

The phone buzzed. One look at the screen— Jay.

His fingers fumbled, nearly dropping both the phone and his shopping bags. "Hello?" 

"Did you visit the tailor yet?"

"Uh…"

"I'll see you at B&Tailor in twenty minutes."

Heeseung rushed to haul a cab because he'd be crazy to even get on the bus with these shopping bags. When he'd arrived, Jay was already there. His bespoke suit blended him seamlessly with the rest of the place. His tablet rested on his lap, and his brows furrowed slightly as he absentmindedly rubbed his mouth in thought.

Jay's eyes lifted, catching Heeseung's entrance. A subtle shift of attention. "Did you have fun?"

Before Heeseung could respond, two staff members glided up after they saw them interacting. Because people like Jay didn't just get served, they were preemptively catered to. That attention extended, by proxy, to Heeseung,

Heeseung dumped his bags. "You have no idea."

Jay nodded as the head tailor, Junyul, appeared. "Shall we begin?"

It started with measurements—Junyul personally guiding Heeseung through the process while assistants flitted about with bolts of fabric and various suit options. Jay remained seated, legs crossed. His eyes would casually drift from his tablet to Heeseung, lingering just long enough to make Heeseung's skin prickle.

Heeseung stepped out from the dressing room in a sleek navy suit with subtle pinstripes. The staff began adjusting the fabric, pinning and tweaking it.

Jay's gaze swept over the fit before he asked, "What do you think?"

Heeseung shifted, watching himself in the mirror. "It's nice?"

Jay signaled Junyul to bring out the next suit. This continued with a few more options—plaids, emerald, and classic blacks. Jay's feedback was meticulous for each of them, in a tone that was as calm as a still water that seemed to unsettle Heeseung more than outright dismissal would have.

Heeseung re-entered the dressing room to try on yet another suit. "You're particular, huh?" 

Jay leaned back in his chair. "I know what works."

Then came the charcoal suit. The moment Heeseung stepped out, he could tell this was it. Jay's facade cracked just enough, showing genuine interest. He rose from his chair and Heeseung watched as those sharp eyes traced every line of the suit.

"This one," Jay murmured, then to Junyul, "Please give us a moment."

The room cleared swiftly, leaving them alone. Jay stepped closer, his hands tucked casually into his pockets as his eyes lingered on the suit. He circled Heeseung once, close enough that Heeseung could catch the subtle notes of his perfume. "This one suits you."

"It's a suit. That's kind of the point."

Jay's lips curved into that devastating lopsided smile. "Do you feel comfortable in it?" His eyes met Heeseung's in the mirror, holding him there.

"I mean, yeah. It feels good. Why?"

"Because if you don't feel like yourself, it won't matter how good it looks."

"I thought this was just about you playing dress up with your hired date."

Jay reached past Heeseung, drawing the fitting room curtain closed with a soft whisper of fabric. "It's about you looking the part. And feeling it too."

Heeseung held his gaze for a moment longer, then broke it with a soft laugh. "I'll go with this one then."

"Good choice." Jay reached out to shrug off the jacket, the fabric slipping down Heeseung's arms to pool at his feet. The vest remained, hugging Heeseung's lean physique. Jay's gaze roamed over him.

Heeseung felt a shiver run down his spine as Jay's warm breath ghosted across the skin of his neck. Jay's lips grazed the curve of his shoulder. Heeseung met Jay in the mirror, holding his gaze as Jay's hands slid underneath the vest, his fingers tracing the contours of Heeseung's torso.

He felt a pinch on his nipple and the mirror reflected it. Jay's dark head bent as he kissed Heeseung's neck, his hands moving with a slow, deliberate pace. 

Heeseung leaned into the touch, his breath hitching. Each kiss left a mark—a possessive mark. Jay's tongue teased the sensitive skin, flicking against the pulse point before his teeth nipped gently, causing Heeseung to shudder.

"You like that?" 

"Do you?" 

Jay smiled against his skin. "I do."

Jay's hands moved lower, undoing his pants. He slipped past the waistband of and Heeseung gasped as Jay's fingers curled around his length—releasing it free.

"Shh," Jay whispered, pressing his other hand on Heeseung's mouth. "Keep it quiet."

The rhythm was steady, almost maddening against Heeseung's paper thin patience. Jay's thumb brushed over the head, spreading pre cum in a slick trail down his shaft. 

"Jay," Heeseung hissed, "Not here…"

"What's the matter? Worried about making a mess?"

"I don't want to ruin these clothes."

Jay's grip tightened, his fingers squeezing hard enough to elicit another gasp. "I'll buy them for you, don't worry."

Jay's touch was maddening, each stroke bringing him closer to the edge. His hips bucked involuntarily, seeking more.

"Tell me what you want, Heeseung."

"Make me come."

"Then let go. Let me see you fall apart."

Heeseung's control snapped, his body bowing under the pressure. He held himself up by propping his arms against the mirror as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over him. Jay's strokes grew frantic with every passing second. He could feel Jay pressed up against him, his clothed erection slotted between his asscheeks and it was driving him insane.

"That's it," Jay coaxed as he nipped on Heeseung's earlobe. "Come for me, Heeseung."

With a muffled cry, Heeseung came undone. His body shuddered, muscles clenching as he spilled over Jay's hand and onto his pants. It was overwhelming, the rush left him trembling. 

Jay didn't stop, his hand continuing to move even as Heeseung's body began to sag. He covered Heeseung's mouth again and watched the mirror with intoxicating attention.

When Heeseung could take no more, legs shaking under the touch, Jay slowed his movements, his touch gentling as he helped Heeseung regain his composure. Heeseung bent heavily against the mirror, his breath ragged and his whole body quivered with aftershocks.

Jay stepped back, wiping his hands with a napkin from his pocket. "You made quite a mess."

Heeseung chuckled weakly. "Yeah… guess we did."

"Let's clean up."

"Not yet."

Jay's smile was wicked. "What else do you have in mind?"

Heeseung turned around and hooked his arms around Jay's neck. "Let's see how far we can push this before they find out."

𝜗𝜚 

Chapter Text

𝜗𝜚 

𝜗𝜚 

The Park estate was every bit as grand as Heeseung had imagined, if not more. Sprawling gardens framed the towering mansion—a masterful blend of European grandeur and Korean traditions. Sunlight reflecting off the white walls and intricately designed windows. And right in the middle of the driveway, a massive tiered fountain.

Jay pulled the car to a stop in front of the entrance, gravel crunching under the tires. Heeseung stepped out first to properly gawk, his duffel bag thrown over his shoulder.

"Damn," he whistled, "when you said family home I was thinking maybe a fancy suburban house at best, not Buckingham Palace."

A helper approached, bowing politely before reaching for Heeseung's bag. "Let me take that for you, sir."

Heeseung clutched his bag out of instinct, jumping back a step as though he were being mugged.

Jay intervened gently, "Heeseung, this is Mr. Kim, our family's helper."

"Oh?" Heeseung raised an eyebrow. Although hesitant, he slowly handed over the bag. "Okay, but be careful. My entire life is kind of in there."

They stepped inside, the sheer opulence of the house nearly made Heeseung trip over his own feet. He didn't even think it was possible for the floor to have a mirror finish like this. 

Jay's grandparents appeared in the grand foyer, both their faces lighting up with genuine joy at the sight of their grandson. Like a picture perfect grandparents Heeseung would see in movies.

"Hey," Heeseung whispered to Jay. "Does your grandma knit you ugly sweaters?"

Jay tilted his head slightly toward him. "No. Why?"

"Aw, too bad. I was looking forward to seeing you wear one."

"Oh, you're here at last!" his grandmother exclaimed, her arms outstretched. She embraced Jay warmly, her petite frame drowned by her grandson's. "Let me look at you," she said, holding him at arm's length. "Still handsome as ever."

"Grandma, I was just here last week."

His grandfather clapped Jay on the back, leaning in as if he's whispering a secret, "I bought some new fishing gear. Let's head out to the lake tomorrow, just the two of us."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were planning that with Sunghoon?"

"Sunghoon's busy with wedding nonsense. You're my backup."

Their attention shifted to Heeseung, who was doing his best not to stare stupidly at the ceiling.

"And who might this charming young man be?" Jay's grandmother asked, her eyes twinkling.

𝜗𝜚 

Heeseung stood before the dining table, bowing a little. "I'm Heeseung, Jay's…" he trailed off, glancing at Jay for some kind of clues about what he should say next.

Jay offered nothing but a small, vague nod that could've meant anything.

With a shrug, he threw his hands up lightly. "Anyway, lovely house! It's big!" he declared, earning some chuckles from Jay's grandparents.

Heeseung sank into his chair. Jay's arm stretched casually across the back of his seat. It wasn't possessive, just there—relaxed, familiar. 

With a subtle lean toward Heeseung, Jay lowered his voice and brushed close to his ear. "Alright, quick crash course. Ready?"

Heeseung turned slightly, feeling Jay's breath tickle his skin. "Do I have a choice?"

"Let's start with grandma and grandpa. You've met them. They're harmless, mostly."

Heeseung chuckled softly, his shoulder brushing Jay's arm.

"That's mother." His gaze flicked to the woman seated on the grandmother's left. She sat perfectly straight, every movement controlled and poised, every word enunciated in a way that felt unnervingly controlled. Even her smiles seemed calculated down to the millimeter. The perfection she created looked borderline neurotic. Like Martha Stewart on steroids. It made Heeseung shiver. "And father. He's a talker. He's looking at us. Just nod and smile."

Heeseung felt Jay's soft laugh against his neck. It made him laugh too.

Jay tilted his head slightly, his nose brushing against the skin. "The newlyweds, Sunghoon and Jungwon. They're just happy someone else is taking grandma's attention off them."

"And the aunt and uncle?" Heeseung asked softly, trying to keep up.

Jay grinned. "Oh, they're great. Nothing to worry about."

Heeseung smiled at that.

Jay pulled back just enough to meet Heeseung's eyes teasingly. "I saved the best introduction for last."

"Oh?" 

"Me," Jay quipped with a smirk. "The most charming one here and the only one here who's on your side."

Heeseung nudged him away with a fond smile. "Good to know. I was starting to feel outnumbered."

Tonight was not just any birthday dinner. The dinner table itself was ridiculous, All the gilded details, gleaming porcelain plates, crystal glasses, and an open kitchen adjacent to the dining room where he could see the staff preparing for their dinner real time. Heeseung couldn't stop watching them, partly because he didn't know what else to do with himself.

The staff got the table ready for them first then the chef came out to introduce himself.

Heeseung realized who he was looking at and cussed under his breath, "Holy shit, isn't that chef Baek Jungjae?"

Jay didn't even look surprised, just nodded with a small smile like this was normal. Of course it was normal for Jay.

"You brought Moku to your house? What kind of rich are you?"

When the chef walked past him, Heeseung couldn't resist. He craned his neck, lowering his voice. "I watch your show. I'm a big fan.." And to that the chef smiled and politely thanked him.

Heeseung was trying, really, he was, but the endless stream of tiny, artfully plated dishes was starting to feel more like a test than a meal. Each course came with its own set of rules, and he was pretty sure he was failing. Which fork now? Wait, is this a soup or a sauce? Everyone else at the table seemed to know what they were doing. Meanwhile, Heeseung was over here working his brain overtime just to figure out how or what to eat without embarrassing himself.

And then there was the wine. Apparently, drinking wine wasn't just about drinking it. Everyone was doing that thing Heeseung had only seen in movies. They swirled their glasses first, holding the stems just so, tilting their heads to take in the aroma, and then diving into discussions about tannins, acidity, and floral notes. Floral notes? Heeseung squinted at his glass like it was hiding something from him.

They talked about how the wine paired with each dish, tossing out names of brands and regions that sounded foreign to his ears. Heeseung had no idea what any of it meant. He kept glancing around the table, trying to mimic whatever the others were doing.

When he finally caught Jay's eye, Jay leaned over and whispered, "Just swirl it a little and smell. Most of the flavor comes from the smell."

Heeseung gave up and put down the glass. He waved down one of the staff with a polite smile and whispered something to them. Moments later, the staff returned with a glass of cola and a small bowl of ice.

Heeseung thanked them quietly before (much to the horror of everyone at the table) pouring the cola directly into his wine glass. He didn't think much of it, but when he glanced up, every single person on the table was staring at him like he just committed a crime.

"Uh… what's wrong?"

Heeseung warily stared at them while taking a sip. No one said anything, yet. Heeseung turned to Jay who had been throwing his family a small reassuring smile on his behalf. It was just wine, why'd everyone reacted like that?

"I've never really developed a taste for wine, I can't tell the difference." He glanced at the bottle being poured into Jungwon's glass beside him and squinted at the label. "What does approachable even mean? I'm not trying to have sex with it."

The table fell quiet for half a beat, every eye subtly darting toward grandmother to gauge her reaction.

Heeseung caught the hesitation and held his breath, mentally preparing for the worst. Crap, was I too loud? Too much?

Then, unexpectedly, grandmother laughed. "Oh, he's something else, isn't he?!"

The tension at the table dissolved instantly, everyone's laughter echoing hers. A smile breaking across Heeseung's face.

The aunt snorted into her glass. "If this wine starts flirting with me, I'm taking it home."

"That's a lousy excuse for alcoholism, honey."

"It's your birthday, mother. I think we're allowed to drink a little bit more."

Inspired, the grandfather waved down a staff. "Could you please bring me cola too? Might as well mix things up a bit tonight."

Jay's father also added in, "You know, when I was in Basque, locals drank wine with cola all the time. It's called Kalimotxo. They use the cheap stuff, though. But there's nothing against doing it fancy, no one's making the rules."

Heeseung inserted himself back into the conversation, "Sounds like the kind of drink that would make me strip."

Grandmother let out an incredulous laugh, clapping her hands together. "You're a wild one!" 

The uncle chuckled, raising his glass. "Well, if that happens, make sure you warn us first. Some of us are too old for surprises."

Jay's mother wasn't laughing, however. Her smile had frozen in place and her grip on her wine glass looked just a little tighter than it should've been.

Jay must've noticed too because his laugh came out stiff, almost forced. "Speaking of the wine," he said, a little louder than necessary, "Wasn't this bottle from that trip to Piedmont, father?"

The table shifted, everyone turning toward Jay's father, who perked up at the mention. "Oh, yes. Gorgeous, gorgeous place. You wouldn't believe what I saw…"

Conversation shifted effortlessly, but Heeseung blinked. The change of topic felt so abrupt and intentional. He glanced at Jay, but Jay wasn't even looking at him.

For the rest of the dinner, Heeseung stayed quiet. 

𝜗𝜚 

Heeseung flopped onto a plush sofa in the bedroom, almost moaning from how good it felt against his body. Jay entered moments later while unfastening the top buttons of his navy shirt. 

"What was that back there?" Heeseung didn't wait, didn't soften his tone. "Everything was great but you went cold the moment I said something about the wine."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"Your mother looked like she wanted to drop me out a window, and you just... changed the topic. Like you agreed with her that I was being embarrassing."

Jay's fingers paused momentarily. "Family dinners have certain... expectations."

"Expectations?"

"Not everyone communicates the way you do."

"And how exactly do I communicate?"

"Directly," Jay said. "Uncomfortably direct."

Heeseung snorted. "You mean honestly?"

"Your approach," Jay said carefully, "should be accompanied with social grace."

"Social grace?" Heeseung mimicked in a mocking tone because Jay kept throwing all these words to avoid what he truly meant to say. "Jay, have you forgotten what I am?"

"I'm simply suggesting you might want to be more—"

"Docile. That's what you want." 

Jay's hand came to rest on the back of a nearby chair. "I'm not asking you to be docile." 

"I told you I would not just sit around and let you tell me what to do."

"I know." He sighed. "If it matters, my grandmother likes you."

Heeseung felt something in him deflate. He looked away first, shoulders dropping. "Fine," he muttered. "I'll try."

"Thank you. That's all I'm asking." 

Jay's relief was subtle—a softening of his stance, the faintest exhale. But something about it made Heeseung's chest tighten though it didn't quite reach his face. 

𝜗𝜚 

Heeseung stood quietly near the golf cart, doing his best to look like he belonged. His new golf outfit was barely broken in, but at least he looked the part. He watched as Jay's father swung his club, sending the ball flying down the range.

"Not bad for an old man," Sunghoon muttered.

Jay snorted, leaning on his golf club. "He might outdrive you. I don't think your ego can handle that."

"Please. I'd outdrive him blindfolded."

Jay's father turned around and gave them both a look. "Maybe one of you wants to actually hit a ball."

Jay grinned and nudged Sunghoon forward. "Go on. Show us how it's done."

Sunghoon grabbed his club, lightly swinging it in his hand. "Watch and learn."

"Learn what? How to hit every sand trap on the course?" 

Sunghoon set his stance. "Some of us actually try to look cool in front of their boyfriends."

Jungwon rolled up in his golf cart just in time to catch the tail of the conversation. He hopped out and glared at Sunghoon.

"Sorry. Husband."

Jay fired back, "And some of us don't have to try."

Jungwon ignored them and headed straight for Heeseung. Brushing his hair off his forehead, he smiled. "Hey, Heeseung."

Heeseung straightened up a little. "That's me."

"How are you liking the town so far?"

"It's good. It's… different. A little bit too fancy from what I am used to."

Jungwon laughed softly. "I get that. I felt the same way when Sunghoon first brought me here to meet his family. Honestly, I thought I was going to mess everything up somehow."

Heeseung relaxed a little. "Glad I'm not the only one who feels that way."

"Don't worry, you're doing great. Just go with the flow, that worked for me so far."

Heeseung awkwardly waved it off. "Oh, Jay and I aren't that serious."

"Really?"

"I'm serious," Heeseung said, a tone too earnest, before realizing Jungwon was joking. "Oh, you're not asking seriously."

Jungwon chuckled, then asked, "So, what do you do for a living, Heeseung?"

"Oh, uh… I'm in the service industry."

Jungwon's eyebrows lifted with polite interest. "Oh, really? Like hospitality? 

"Yeah, something like that," Heeseung said, forcing a laugh. "Lots of people interaction, you know. Keeps things interesting."

"That must be nice. I admire people who can handle that kind of work. It's not easy."

"You have no idea."

𝜗𝜚 

Sunghoon and Jay sat on the shaded outdoor patio of the clubhouse, sipping cold drinks with the view of late afternoon sun reflected off the lake water sprawled before them. In the distance, Jungwon and Heeseung strolled along the lakeshore, their backlit shadows laughing and dancing.

"So, where'd you meet him?"

Jay glanced up from his phone. "Around."

"Around? What does that mean? University? Work?"

Jay took a long sip from his drink before answering. "It's not important."

"It feels a little important. Because he showed up out of nowhere and he doesn't look like he's from here."

Jay pondered the question and let out a resigned sigh. "He's a sex worker."

"...What?"

"A male prostitute," Jay said flatly. "That's how we met."

"Jesus, Jay," Sunghoon whispered, leaning closer. "Are you out of your mind?"

Jay's shoulders lifted in a dismissive shrug. "It's not a big deal."

"Your mother would lose her mind if she knew."

"Which is exactly why she's not going to know."

𝜗𝜚 

The fireplace provided the light they needed in the dimmed living room. Heeseung and Jay were pressed close together on the cashmere couch, blankets over their legs, their bodies touching from shoulder to hip as they looked at an old photo album. 

Jay reached for a slightly faded portrait of himself as a little kid, barely older than five, holding it up for Heeseung to see. "That's me in Korea. Before my parents decided Seattle was the promised land."

"You look so serious."

"I was. I thought I was going to conquer the world back then."

"And now?"

Jay tilted his head, feigning thought. "I just want to survive family holiday."

Heeseung's eyes caught the yearbook photo, and he squinted. "Wait," he murmured, running a finger under the name. "Park Jongseong? Jay is not your real name?"

Jay chuckled softly, his breath warm against Heeseung's neck. "Jay's my English name. Jongseong is what my parents named me."

Heeseung turned, their faces just inches apart. "Jongseong," he repeated, rolling the syllables on his tongue. "I like it. It sounds... more you."

A small smile played on Jay's lips. "I love it too. Always have."

"Then why don't you use it?"

Jay shrugged lightly. "Because 'Jay' is easier for everyone to pronounce, and I guess it stuck. Even my parents stopped calling me Jongseong after a while."

"That sucks."

"Do you have an English name?"

"What do I need an English name for?" Heeseung said incredulously. "For what? I'm Lee Heeseung. If some foreigner can't wrap their tongue around my name, they can go fuck themselves." 

They laughed.

"Fair enough."

Outside, the first snowfall was drifting past the large bay windows. Delicate white flakes tumbled silently against the dark midnight sky. The soft movements caught Heeseung's eyes that he couldn't help but look.

"Oh," Heeseung breathed, nudging Jay. "Look."

Jay didn't care to look, he could already see the first snow from the reflection in Heeseung's eyes. 

"Cold?" Jay whispered, lips grazing his ear.

Heeseung's breath hitched. Jay seemed to love those small reactions, the ones that gave away how much Heeseung was affected. It was like playing into his hands, just like that, Jay leaned in, his lips pressing lightly against the hollow of Heeseung's neck and enough to make Heeseung's entire body tense. 

Jay's palm was hot against the cool skin of Heeseung's stomach. Heeseung's head tilted back as Jay's fingers found the ridge of his hip bone. The touch was possessive this time, and Heeseung hated how much he already missed it.

"You're tense," Jay observed, "Worried someone might walk in?"

"Fuck off," Heeseung snapped but he sounded breathless, which only seemed to amuse Jay more.

"You like the risk. You like knowing this could all go wrong at any moment."

Jay's hand tightened on his hip, pulling him closer. Their bodies aligned, and Heeseung could feel the heat of Jay's arousal pressing against his own. He bit back a groan, his resolve crumbling faster than he would have liked.

"Maybe I do," Heeseung admitted finally, smirking lazily. "But that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about the consequences. I still have to see your family tomorrow."

Jay's other hand cupped Heeseung's cheek, his thumb brushing over the corner of his mouth. "Let me worry about the consequences. You just focus on feeling good."

Somewhere between the discarded clothes and Jay's lips on his body, Heeseung was slowly unraveling. 

Jay had a way of seeing him, of touching him. Not just looking, but truly seeing, in a way no one ever had before. History couldn't be compared, but he had embraced enough sweet nothings to tell when a touch actually meant something.

Jay's words were soft touches, whispered against Heeseung's collarbones, into the hollow of his throat. 

"You're beautiful." 

Heeseung almost believed it. He had never considered himself beautiful. Strong, yes. Determined. Intense. But pretty? That was a word for someone else, someone softer. Not him. 

"Fuck…" Heeseung bit out. He was on his back, legs opened with Jay in between. Jay's fingers felt impossibly good, hitting spots that made his toes curl and his vision blur. "Feels so good… don't stop…"

"Good," Jay soothed as he began to move his finger in slow, deliberate strokes. Heeseung's body instinctively clenched before gradually loosening. Jay watched him closely as he added a second finger, stretching him gently but thoroughly. "Almost there, I'll take care of you." 

Jay removed his fingers, leaving Heeseung gasping and desperate. He put on the condom and lined himself up, his tip pressing against Heeseung's entrance.

In one smooth thrust, he was inside, filling Heeseung completely. They both groaned. Heeseung's nail dug into Jay's back, his body trembling as he adjusted to the sudden fullness. Jay paused, giving him time to settle, his hands resting on Heeseung's hips as he waited.

"You okay?" Jay asked softly.

Heeseung nodded, his breath coming in short bursts. "Yeah… just… give me a second."

Jay pressed a kiss to Heeseung's shoulder. "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

When Heeseung finally gave him the signal, Jay began to move, his thrusts slow at first but each stroke pushed deeper. Heeseung's moans grew louder, his body arching with each thrust as the pleasure built within him.

"Fuck, Jay… So good… harder…"

Jay obliged, picking up the pace. His thrusts became rougher, more forceful. Heeseung's nails scratched against Jay's back, marking him as his cries filled the room.

"That's it," Jay moaned, "Take it, angel. Take everything I give you."

Heeseung was incoherent, he could barely form a sentence. He reached down to also relieve himself, hand pumping his painful erection against his low abdomen. Jay's thrusts grew erratic, his control slipping. 

"Jay… fuck… I'm close…" Heeseung panted, "I am close, I am close, I am close."

Jay buried his face in the crook of Heeseung's neck. "Come for me. Let go."

That was enough to push Heeseung over the edge. With a loud cry, he came, his body convulsing as pleasure coursed through him. Jay followed soon after, his thrusts growing sloppy as he spilled inside him.

Jay collapsed onto Heeseung, their bodies tangled, breaths synced. Heeseung's fingers traced lazy patterns along Jay's neck. "Get off. You're crushing me."

Jay mumbled something unintelligible, then pushed himself up. "Let me get you a towel," he said, disappearing into the bathroom.

Jay returned with the towel and settled beside Heeseung, gently dabbing at his stomach. The act, combined with both of them naked, brought a grin to his lips, widening into a full smile.

"Don't look at me like that, it's annoying."

Jay raised an eyebrow, still wiping while deliberately avoiding direct eye contact. 

That made Heeseung chuckle. "You're a fucking idiot."

After tidying up, they put on whatever clothes that were within an arm reach, Jay's shirt was probably inside out and Heeseung's sweater hung off one shoulder. They settled onto the sofa. Heeseung half draped across Jay, Jay's arm loose around his shoulders. The fire in the hearth had dimmed and the room was noticeably warmer than before.

"You've never told me," Jay said while absentmindedly toying with strands of Heeseung's hair. "Why are you doing this?"

"It's not a pretty story."

"I'm not looking for pretty."

So Heeseung started talking, "Do you know what it's like to want something so badly it hurts?"

"I think I do."

"I ran away from home when I was 18. I wanted to sing. I worked everywhere. literally everywhere. Pubs, bowling alleys, roller skating rinks. I went to every audition I could find. I was chasing this stupid, impossible dream, and thought if I just worked hard enough things would work out."

Jay's grip on him tightened slightly.

"When I couldn't make rent anymore, I was too ashamed to call home and admit I'd failed. I was desperate. Really desperate. That's when Jake found me—he's a friend, a really good friend of mine."

"He was the one who told you about this job?"

Heeseung firmly nodded. "Said he knew a way I could survive. Pay was good. Better than good. And at that point, what did I have to lose? Big dreams didn't get me anywhere. They just… brought me here."

Heeseung was used to pity, he didn't expect anything more than performative sympathy. Jay was quiet. Not the uncomfortable silence of judgment, it was the kind that felt... safe, like Jay was actually listening, letting the weight of Heeseung's words settle before responding.

"You did what you had to do." Jay's hand remained where it was, holding him steady. "Survival isn't always pretty. But it's survival. You're more than what happened to you."

It shouldn't have mattered. It was just another reassurance from someone who couldn't possibly understand. And somehow, that was everything. What Jay said lifted some of the self loathing that had been sitting like a stone on his chest for so long he'd forgotten how heavy it was.

Heeseung took a look around him, taking in the warmth of the big, beautifully decorated house. It felt alive. Heeseung guessed it had a lot of stories to tell.

"I can't wait to spend Christmas here."

Jay raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching. "I wouldn't get too excited. Christmas hasn't exactly been my favorite holiday."

"Why not? I love Christmas."

"For starters, my ex-fiance and I always fought during Christmas. Every year, without fail, something would go wrong."

"Did you fight on other days too, or was it exclusively a holiday tradition?"

Jay pressed his lips together, thinking. "We fought a lot... everywhere, anytime, really."

"Then it's not Christmas's fault."

Jay let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. "You might be right. But blaming Christmas still feels pretty reasonable to me."

"Out of curiosity," Heeseung tilted his head, his face slotted right in the crook of Jay's neck. "What kind of English name do you think would suit me?"

"Evan," Jay said. "It rhymes with heaven."

Heaven. As if such a place could ever recognize someone like him, someone who had sins tucked in his ribs like secret love letters, indistinguishable from his own heart. It was a stupid name with a stupid reason. Heeseung had nothing in heaven—he didn't belong in heaven, just like he didn't belong here. 

How could Jay say that?

Jay will still let him go, and that was the reason that got them in this position in the first place. But the thought of making someone stay didn't feel as awful, or as forbidden, tonight.

It was always the sinners who begged for a chance. The ones who carried their guilt like a second skin, who found redemption not in forgiveness but in the hope that perhaps someone could see them as something more.

And for now, Jay was enough to make Heeseung wonder if there was a version of him worth saving after all.

Heeseung hated it. He hated how close he was to believing it.

𝜗𝜚 

"We registered our marriage in the states and we just came here to celebrate with the family. It's a small reception. Just close friends," Jungwon explained, gesturing to the wedding binder open between them. He reached for the assortment of bread, soft cheeses, and fresh fruits spread across the dining table, assembling his breakfast. "Grandma put all of this together, she's been more excited about this than we have."

Heeseung flipped through the binder. "It's beautiful."

Around them, helpers were arranging floral centerpieces and carefully positioning the chairs with the grandmother supervising them. Outside, a delivery truck pulled up, and workers began unloading more boxes of decorations.

Another car appeared in the driveway, it was a taxi this time. Yuna emerged, winter sunlight catching the subtle highlights in her french twist. Behind her, a man followed. Grandmother immediately noticed them when Yuna stepped up inside the house. 

"Grandmother," Yuna said, setting down her bags and leaning in to kiss the older woman's cheek. "I hope we're not interrupting."

"Interrupting? Nonsense. Come in, come in. How was your flight?" Her eyes flickered to the man. "Is this your boyfriend?"

Jun stepped forward, a nervous half-smile playing on his lips. "I'm Jun, ma'am. It's nice to meet you."

At the same time Jay descended from the stairs, his steps momentarily freezing when he saw Yuna. Their eyes met and the air around them changed.

"Yuna."

"Jay." She gestured to Jun. "This is Jun."

Jay looked at Jun then went back to Yuna. "I was going to make coffee, do you want some?"

"It's alright. We'll just take our bags to our room and rest a bit. Thanks."

Yuna and Jun followed the helpers carrying their luggage. Jay veered off in the opposite direction and disappeared into the kitchen.

It didn't take a detective for Heeseung to piece together that she was the ex-fiance.

𝜗𝜚 

"Sunoo, Riki," Jay was saying, "this is Heeseung."

"Nice to meet you," Sunoo said, his eyes doing a quick, almost imperceptible assessment before extending his hand. Perhaps out of habit. Then a super bright smile. "I'm Sunoo. Jay's assistant."

Riki was different. He seemed younger, more relaxed. "Riki. So you're Jay's plus one?"

"Something like that," he responded with a slight smile to soften the awkwardness.

The entire house had been transformed into an elegant candlelit winter wonderland. The grandmother had clearly spared no expense, particularly with the catering. The food was abundant and staff moved between tables with silver platters, offering what seemed like a non-stop parade of delights. It was impossible to leave this place hungry.

Sunghoon and Jungwon made their rounds in matching white suits, greeting the guests. When they reached Jay and Heeseung's table, Sunghoon leaned casually on the back of Jay's chair.

"So," Sunghoon started, "how's it feel having the ex in the room?"

Jay didn't take the bait. He raised an eyebrow. "Mature. Very mature."

"Have you talked to her?"

"I don't see the need to."

Sunghoon sighed and clapped a hand on Jay's shoulder. "Alright, alright. I'll leave you to it. Enjoy the food." He smiled at Heeseung before moving to the next table.

Jay's gaze drifted to the other side of the room, to Yuna, seated with her new boyfriend, Jun. They were leaning toward each other, in a quiet conversation that seemed entirely their own. Yunjin's hand rested lightly on Jun's lap, and he held it there, smiling attentively as she spoke.

Jay probably should stop staring.

"Should we do something?" Heeseung asked.

Jay shook his head, his lips pressing into a thin line. "It's fine. Really."

It was time for family pictures. The family moved naturally toward the front, surrounding the grooms for the picture. Heeseung remained seated while the seats around him emptied out, a polite smile on his face as he watched. 

Jay's grandmother saw him. "Heeseung, dear! What are you doing over there? Come in, come in!" She insistently waved him forward with both hands.

"Oh, no, no," Heeseung stammered, holding up both hands. "It's family. I shouldn't—"

"Nonsense! Now, come on!"

Heeseung froze, glancing toward Jay for an answer. Jay gave him a small nod. Reluctantly, Heeseung stood and made his way toward the group. He hesitated to even stand at the edge of the group. 

The grandmother caught his arm and pulled him in closer, right next to Jay.

"Perfect."

Heeseung glanced at Jay, unsure of what to do, but Jay gave him a faint smile before facing forward.

The camera flashed, and Heeseung managed a smile of his own.

𝜗𝜚 

In the grand living room, family was a warmth winter couldn't touch. Everybody was dancing, Sunghoon and Jungwon spun each other. Jay stood by the drinks table, swirling a glass of whiskey idly in his hand. Heeseung had been swept into the fray by the old ladies, his laugh was careless and infectious. Jay allowed himself to smile at the sight. 

"Jay, darling," came a voice from behind him.

He turned to find Mrs. Oh, a friend of his mother. Her figure was draped in a fitted burgundy dress, the pearls around her neck catching the light as she stepped closer. Her gaze swept the room before landing on Heeseung.

"Mrs. Oh." Jay nodded. "Enjoying yourself?"

"Of course," she said, her eyes scanning the room before landing on Heeseung, who was laughing as one of the aunties spun him around. "You've brought quite the... intriguing companion tonight."

"He's a charmer."

"A charmer" she repeated. The sip from her champagne flute was measured. "You've always been so... particular, Jay. This is quite the departure."

The subtext was clear. She wasn't asking, she was probing.

"I understand heartbreak can drive us to strange decisions. What happened with Yuna must have been difficult." Mrs. Oh tilted her head. "Heeseung seems charming enough, but let's not pretend, darling. We both know what he is."

Jay said nothing.

"I was thinking," Mrs. Oh trailed off, "about your current... arrangement. How many days do you have left?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'd love to call him after you're done. I imagine he'd appreciate a returning client."

Jay stared at her, he didn't have it in him to entertain her anymore but he tried not to let it show. "You can have him next week."

Mrs. Oh laughed. "Oh, how lovely. Thank you, darling."

With a lingering pat on his arm, she turned and glided away

𝜗𝜚 

Heeseung stopped dancing when he found Mrs. Oh approaching with a smile on her face. He had to take a second look because he wasn't expecting to run into a client here of all places. 

"Mrs. Oh. I... I didn't expect to see you here."

"Small world, isn't it?" She stepped closer, her perfume filling the space between them. She looked him up and down. "I almost didn't recognize you. You clean up quite nicely."

Heeseung masked his discomfort with a polite smile. "Thank you. It's nice to see you again."

"Oh, don't be so formal," she teased lightly, "After all, we've gotten to know each other enough to drop the formality, no?"

"I suppose we have."

"Jay tells me you'll be done with him this weekend. Such a shame, really. You seem to be getting along so well."

"Well, when it comes to me, everything has an end date."

Her lips curved into a sly grin, finding his response entertaining. "Speaking of which," she said, leaning in. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in meeting me at my place after you're done with Jay. I'm sure you remember the address."

Heeseung stared at her. The polite nods and the forced smiles kicked in before he could think of anything else. "Of course. Just let me know when."

Mrs. Oh's grin deepened, satisfied. "Enjoy the rest of the evening, darling."

Heeseung's champagne glass suddenly felt heavier in his hand. His eyes instinctively searched for Jay across the room. Heeseung found him talking to his mother on the second floor. 

Heeseung made his way toward him.

𝜗𝜚 

Jay was about to step away to get some fresh air when his mother appeared at his side.

"Jay," she said quietly, "A word, please."

He followed her down a quiet hallway on the second floor. The moment they were alone, her mask slipped.

"Who is he?" 

"Who are you talking about?"

"Why did I hear from Mrs. Oh that you're bringing a—" she paused with disgust before forcing the word out through gritted teeth, "—male prostitute as your date? What were you thinking, Jay? Bringing someone like him here. To this house. At your cousin's wedding?"

Jay sighed. "He's also a friend, mother."

"Do you think someone like that could ever care for anything more than money?"

"I'm sure it's not like that."

"Then what is it like?" she pressed, "Are you so desperate for companionship that you're willing to stoop this low? Do you have any idea what people will say when they find out who he really is?"

Jay's response came after a long pause. "No one will find out. Stop making a big deal out of this."

His mother laughed bitterly. "Oh, they will. People like him carry their shame everywhere they go. It's in how they talk, how they dress, how they try so hard to be something they're not. And believe me, Jay, he's trying. But he doesn't belong here."

"He's just here for the weekend," Jay said, as if that would diffuse the situation. "It's not serious. Keep your voice down, mother."

"Not serious?" she echoed incredulously. "Then why parade him around like he is? Why humiliate yourself and this family in the process?"

"He's not here to humiliate me, okay? He's just helping me deal with everything."

"So you're paying him to play boyfriend," she interrupted, "How pathetic can you be?"

Jay rubbed his temple and turned away for a second to compose himself. "I don't need you to approve of my choices."

"Your choices? This isn't about choices, Jay. This is about respect. For yourself, for this family. And dragging someone like him into our lives shows you have none. You either tell him to leave, or I will."

The room fell into silence, tense and suffocating. Jay felt the fight draining out of him.

"Fine," he said quietly, defeated. "I'll take care of it."

"You'll send him away," she corrected, "Tonight."

What he didn't realize was that Heeseung had been passing through the hall on his way to find him, catching just enough of the conversation to understand.

Heeseung took a breath, smoothed his expression, and blended back into the crowd as though nothing had happened, as though he hadn't just been reminded of exactly where he stood in all of this.

He didn't know which one would shatter first, the glass in his hand or something inside of him.

𝜗𝜚 

Upstairs, Heeseung packed his bag calmly and quickly. But nothing could hide the way his hands trembled when he zipped it shut. His chest felt tight, like it was caving in on him. 

He had known enough. Enough to know he didn't belong here, enough to know that staying would only hurt more.

By the time Jay came looking for him, Heeseung was already at the back door so he wouldn't make a scene. He wore his coat and his bag hung from his shoulder. He had made up his mind.

"Heeseung."

"Don't bother," he said quietly. "I'll take care of myself and save you the trouble."

Heeseung moved to leave, but Jay stepped forward, grabbing his wrist. "I can explain."

Heeseung stopped, his back still turned to Jay. For a moment, it seemed like he wouldn't say anything at all. But he turned around slowly, meeting Jay's eyes.

"I talked to Mrs. Oh," Heeseung said, "She said you told her she could have me after you're done with me."

Jay froze, his mouth opening to explain. No words came out.

"Did you really say that?" Heeseung pressed. Jay hesitated, and that hesitation was answer enough. He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. "Wow. You didn't even deny it."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Didn't mean what? Didn't mean to reduce me to some... transaction? To pass me off like I'm an item?" He took a step closer, his bag slipping from his shoulder and hitting the ground with a thud.

"You told me that you liked sleeping with women better. I figured Mrs. Oh was one of those women who'd treated you nicely."

"So what? I get to decide who I'm sleeping with, not you. You don't fucking own me."

Jay exhaled sharply. "I'm not forcing you to stay or keeping you from seeing other people. You know what this is. You know this isn't permanent."

"Not permanent," he repeated and stepped closer, his eyes burning into Jay's. "Why don't you just go ahead and let people have it with me while you're at it? What's the point of dressing me up and telling me to act a certain way if you're just going to treat me like a fucking whore like everybody else?"

Jay snapped, "I hate to point out the truth but that's who you are, Heeseung."

There it was. The final blow.

"You want to talk about truth? Fine. Here's the truth, you're a fucking coward."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Heeseung stepped closer. "You're nothing but a spineless, hollow shell. The moment shit gets real, you crumble. You couldn't wait to throw me under the bus the second you thought people might look at you differently because of me. God forbid your perfect fucking image gets a crack. Newsflash, Jay, no one actually cares about your fucking act but you."

"You don't get to be angry and make me the bad guy. You chose this life, Heeseung. I didn't make you this way."

"That's the best you've got? Blame me for being what I am? At least I didn't run away from every fucking thing that scared me." Heeseung took a shaky breath. He pointed a trembling finger at Jay's face. "You're obsessed with control, but the truth is, you have nothing. You are nothing, Jay. No wonder your ex-fiance left you."

Jay's face twisted in anger. "You don't get to bring up my ex-fiance."

"Why not? You reminded me that I was a whore why couldn't I mention that?" He bent down, snatching his bag off the ground. "But thanks for clearing that up. And you know what? Maybe you're right. Maybe I am just a whore. But at least I know who the fuck I am, Jay. Can you say the same?"

"Heeseung—"

Heeseung paused, holding Jay's gaze for a long moment. Every word got stuck on the tip of Jay's tongue. Then, with a slight, bitter curve of his lips, he said, "Thanks for the suit. It fits like a glove."

𝜗𝜚 

Jay remembered Heeseung mentioned working at the nightclub with the fountain outside in the area where they'd first met. That's where he found himself the next day. He stood awkwardly at the entrance. For the first time, his coat and polished shoes made him stand out amongst the crowd instead of blending him in.

He squeezed his way toward the bar. The bartender—Jake, according to the tiny name tag—was wiping a glass while chewing gum with a bored expression. When Jay approached, Jake's eyes flickered over him.

"Excuse me," Jay said, slightly leaning over the bar to be heard over the music. "I'm looking for Heeseung. Is he working tonight?"

Jake's chewing slowed as he looked Jay up and down. "I think I know who you are."

"I need to talk to him."

A sardonic smile crossed Jake's face. "Not happening."

"Please."

"Save it." Jake raised a hand. "He doesn't need more of whatever this is."

"I said something terrible and I really need to apologize for it."

"Apologize, huh? Funny how people always want to apologize after the damage is done."

"I know. He doesn't need to forgive me. But I still need to know that I am sorry."

Jake tapped his fingers against the counter, considering it. Then, with a sigh, he gestured toward the far side of the club. "He's right there. Don't make me regret this."

"Thank you. Thank you."

"When you apologize later, you better mean it."

"I will," Jay said quickly. "I promise."

Jay spotted Heeseung almost immediately, even in the middle of a crowd. Leather jacket, tight pants, a cropped shirt that rode up everytime he lifted his arms. He was moving between people pouring drinks, laughing, being fed shots. 

Jay watched him for a moment. Heeseung's face was flushed with alcohol and something else, excitement perhaps. Or defiance.

Their eyes met. Heeseung's face hardened instantly. "I don't want to see you here."

"We need to talk."

Heeseung laughed humorlessly. "Talk? Really?" He tried to turn away, but Jay caught his elbow.

"Just for a minute."

Heeseung tried to twist away, but Jay didn't let go.

"Fine," Heeseung snapped, finally jerking his arm free. He fixed a cold stare at Jay before bitterly looking away. "Outside. Now."

The back alley was quiet except for the faint hum of the nightclub's bass and police car siren wailing in the distance. Their breaths were visible against the cold winter night. Heeseung stood with his arms crossed tightly, stubbornly staring at the cracked pavement, refusing to meet Jay's gaze.

"I was wrong, Heeseung. What I said, everything I said, I'm sorry."

Still, Heeseung didn't speak.

"Please talk to me."

Heeseung broke, "You hurt me, Jay. No one's ever made me feel that worthless before."

"You were right about me." Jay stepped closer, but didn't touch him. "I was a coward, and I know that now. So allow me to try to make it up to you. Will you please come back to the house?"

"See, that's another thing. I don't belong in your world, Jay."

"No… that's not true. I've seen how you talk to my family. I've seen what you're capable of. You can belong here, Heeseung."

"Which one? The me you want me to be? Or the me you saw right now?" Heeseung inhaled. "Back at the house I was trying so hard to be what you wanted. To make you like me. I am sorry. But if that's the person you see, that is not me. But this—" He gestured to all of him. The clothes, the dark eyeshadow, the smell of alcohol coming from him, and the touches of strangers that lingered on him. "Look at me. Right now. This is me."

"Don't talk like this is all that you are. You're meant for something bigger, Heeseung. Not this place."

"Then what am I meant for? Clearly, it's not your world." 

"We can find out together."

"Together," Heeseung repeated. The word ironically sounded like goodbye. "I am sorry, this is pointless. You should go home."

He pushed off the wall and moved toward the door when it dawned on him that he was walking away from something he knew he could never return to. But he kept walking, knowing this was it.

"Heeseung, are you leaving me?"

Heeseung turned back. Just once.

"I am."

The door clicked shut. Silence. Jay stood where Heeseung left him, unmoving. But this couldn't be how it ended. He couldn't leave like this. 

Before he knew it, his legs were already moving, shoving the back door open. 

Heeseung hadn't gone far. He was leaning against the wall just beside the door, his head bowed, one hand swiping quickly at his face. When he saw Jay, he stiffened, hastily looking away.

"Go away, Jay. I don't want to see you again."

"No, you are not leaving me." Jay stopped just in front of him. "I'm not letting you go like this."

Heeseung almost wavered. But nothing a bitter smile couldn't mask.

"Heeseung," Jay began, "If you need to hate me, fine. If you need to yell at me, throw things, hurt me, I'll take it. I'll take anything, just don't leave."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. You said I was empty inside, and maybe you're right. Maybe I am. But I know you now, Heeseung, and I don't know how to go back to who I was before. I don't want to. I don't want to do this without you." His voice faltered, then strengthened. "You can tear me apart if that's what you need. Just don't go. Please don't go."

Heeseung looked like he might run. Jay stepped even closer. Slow. Giving Heeseung space to walk away if he wanted. 

"I'm so fucking mad at you, Jay."

"I know."

Heeseung didn't walk away.

The embrace was hesitant at first, awkward and unsure, but then it tightened with each desperate breath. Heeseung's head fell against Jay's shoulder. Jay's arms wrapped around him like he was holding together something that was falling apart, because letting go wasn't an option.

"I know," Jay murmured again, pressing his cheek to Heeseung's hair. "You have every right to be."

"I hate myself too, for what I said. I am sorry," Heeseung's words were broken and barely there. Jay only held on. "For bringing up your ex-fiance like that. It wasn't fair. I just… I was so angry. Hearing that you're okay with the idea of me with someone else kind of hurts."

"I'm not okay with it."

"Why didn't you say that?"

"Because I knew it's your job and I didn't want to be an asshole who controls you. I'm sorry." Jay pressed his cheek against Heeseung's hair. "I'll even wear one of those horrifically ugly sweaters for you to make you happy."

Heeseung laughed weakly and Jay seized the moment, spinning them in a quick circle that made Heeseung gasp and grip him tighter as they tumbled. When they pulled apart, they could feel the tender possibility between them. Each exhale was a breath of hope. 

Their lips met gently, reverently. Jay's hand cupped Heeseung's face, his thumb tracing the curve of his cheekbone. The kiss was of forgiveness, of promises and certainty, of coming home.

"Heeseung, I will bring you home."

𝜗𝜚 

Christmas was the main event of grandmother's marathon of winter holiday. Hence the massive Christmas tree that stood almost as tall as the high ceiling in the corner of the living room, adorned with elegant glass ornaments, cherished handmade decorations, and family pictures.

Most of the family was doing their typical holiday thing. Jay's dad was deep in some boring conversation with the uncle, probably arguing about stocks or golf or whatever dads talk about. Grandmother was being grandma by force feeding everyone cookies and hot chocolate. Over by the fireplace, Sunghoon and Jungwon were cuddled up, looking sickeningly cute and laughing about whatever newlyweds would laugh about (everything).

Jay's mom approached Heeseung during one of those rare quiet moments. She had this nervous look on her face, but at the same time she looked determined.

"Heeseung," she called quietly.

He turned, surprised. "Yes?"

She pressed a small, carefully wrapped package into his hands. "This is for you," she said simply. "I thought maybe we could... start over."

Heeseung's fingers hesitated over the ribbon. The wrapping was perfect, a delicate bow. It was obvious how much care was put into it. He glanced towards the other room, where Jay was talking to the men in the family, then back to Jay's mother.

When he unwrapped the gift, he found a midnight blue leather journal, with his initials embossed in silver along the bottom right corner. His fingers traced the embossing, and then he noticed the note tucked into the first page. Handwritten, in elegant script:

Every new chapter begins with courage. I hope you find yours.

"I heard from Jay that you wanted to be a singer. That you've always wanted to write music." A pause. "I thought maybe this could be a place to start. To write down those ideas."

This journal wasn't just a thoughtful gift, it was an acknowledgment. A quiet apology. Heeseung found himself smiling.

"Thank you. This is very thoughtful."

She reached out, gave his hand a pat. "Merry Christmas, Heeseung."

𝜗𝜚 

Heeseung found himself wandering to the study room. There were velvet sofas, bookshelves lined the walls surrounding the room, and a grand piano positioned perfectly to catch the moonlight streaming through the windows. His fingers traced the piano's edge. Without thinking, he sat down. The keys were cool under his touch, and he began to play. Soft, hesitant at first.

He didn't hear Jay enter. Didn't notice him until he heard a voice.

"That's beautiful."

Heeseung's hands stilled for a moment. He chuckled. "I know."

"Don't stop." Jay moved to sit next to him, Heeseung scooted aside. 

"Demanding much?"

"It's Christmas. I'm allowed to be demanding."

A soft laugh escaped Heeseung. "Any specific requests?"

Jay lightly perched his chin on Heeseung's shoulder. "Something Christmas-y. Surprise me."

The opening notes of "I'll Be Home for Christmas" began to fill the room, so did Heeseung's voice. Halfway through the song, Jay's hands joined him on the keys.

"I love when you sing," Jay murmured.

"If only in my dreams," Heeseung smiled through the singing, teasing. "Then don't ruin my song."

"I'm making it better."

Heeseung rolled his eyes. "I'll be home for Christmas—" He glanced at Jay. "If only in my dreams."

On the final notes of the song, Heeseung closed his eyes, letting the music linger in the air before it settled into a comfortable silence. When he opened them again, a glint of gold was blinking at him. A delicate necklace dangled in front of Heeseung's eyes.

"Your Christmas present."

Heeseung raised an eyebrow, smirking. "Didn't have time to wrap it, huh?"

Jay chuckled. "I'll try better next time."

Heeseung took the necklace, letting it pool in his palm for a moment before putting it on. He glanced up at Jay, who was watching him expectantly.

"Wait," Heeseung said, reaching into his jacket pocket. "I have something for you, too."

"You got me a present?"

"Of course I did." Heeseung pulled out a tie. A red plaid necktie with tiny white snowflakes scattered across the fabric.

Jay blinked at it before bursting into laughter. "What is this?"

Heeseung shrugged. "Didn't have time to wrap it either." He looped the tie around Jay's collar, adjusting it.

Jay looked down to examine the tie, pursing his lips in mock seriousness. "Not bad," he said, nodding. "I could make this work. Very festive."

"Festive and stylish," Heeseung teased, gripping the tie and using it to pull Jay closer.

Jay stumbled forward slightly, caught off guard, but the surprise quickly softened into a smile when their lips met in a kiss, gentle at first, then deeper. Jay's hands instinctively found their way to Heeseung's waist, and he melted into the moment, letting Heeseung take the lead.

A sudden flash made them jump apart.

Standing in the doorway was grandmother, holding a polaroid camera and grinning ear to ear. "Oh, this one's going on the Christmas tree!"

Jay and Heeseung exchanged looks before bursting into laughter.

"Merry Christmas."

𝜗𝜚 

Jay's hands were everywhere. In Heeseung's hair, along his back, his jaw. Heeseung gasped against Jay's lips, his body arching, and Jay took advantage, pressing his palm harder against the small of Heeseung's back.

"Fuck," Heeseung muttered between kisses, "Touch me more."

Jay's focus was split between the way Heeseung's lips moved against his and the way his own hands seemed to have a mind of their own, mapping every inch of Heeseung's torso they could reach. He felt Heeseung's hands slip beneath his shirt now, skimming over his ribs before sliding higher. Jay shuddered and broke the kiss long enough to let his forehead resting against Heeseung's as their panting breaths mingled.

"Heeseung..." Jay whispered, his voice barely audible above the pounding of his heart. "What are you doing to me?"

Heeseung didn't answer right away, his eyes scanning Jay's face intently. Then, slowly, he shifted his weight, straddling Jay's lap that made Jay's breath catch in his throat. His thighs pressed firmly against Jay's hips, and Jay could feel Heeseung already hardening against him. 

Heeseung leaned down, nipping at Jay's earlobe before whispering, "This. This is what I'm doing."

And then he began to grind, his hips rolling against Jay's. Jay's hands immediately shot up to grip Heeseung's hips, holding him steady as the motion sent shivers through his body. His own cock strained against his slacks, throbbing painfully as Heeseung continued to rock against him.

"God, Heeseung," Jay groaned, "Keep doing that. Please."

Heeseung tightened his grip on Jay's shoulders, angling his hips just right to press against Jay's aching length. 

"You want me like this? All over you?"

"Yes. God, yes. Don't stop."

Heeseung smiled wickedly, clearly enjoying the effect he had on Jay. He leaned down again, capturing Jay's lips in another searing kiss as his hips continued their relentless movement. Jay's hands traveled up Heeseung's sides, digging into the sensitive skin just below his ribs. 

"You're so beautiful," Jay murmured against Heeseung's lips. "So fucking perfect."

Heeseung pulled away from the kiss, his breath ragged and his lips glistening with saliva. Jay looked up at him, his eyes narrowed and dazed, as if he were seeing Heeseung for the first time all over again.

"What?" 

"You look… gone," Heeseung teased, running a finger along Jay's jawline. "Like you've completely forgotten how to function."

Jay blinked slowly, as though trying to shake himself out of some kind of spell. "Maybe I have." He reached up to grip Heeseung's wrist, stopping him. "Maybe you did that to me."

"Guilty." 

Jay pressed a soft kiss to the inside of Heeseung's hand, his lips lingering. "This is ridiculous," he muttered, almost amused. "I can't even think straight right now."

Heeseung watched him. "I don't understand how you can look at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like I'm..." Heeseung fumbled for words, "Like I'm not all the shit I've done. Like I'm something... more."

"My job's pretty messy too," he said softly, straightening up. "I'm not exactly saving the world."

"At least you're not—you know," he stopped himself. 

"Not what?"

"Selling yourself," Heeseung blurted.

Jay gathered Heeseung's hands, holding them gently. "Is that what you think you've been doing? Selling yourself?"

"Isn't that what everyone sees? Like it or not, I am a sin, Jay," Heeseung said, clearly hiding behind a self-deprecating joke.

"You're not a sin, you're a sinner. And we're all sinners." He pressed a kiss to Heeseung's knuckles. "Your sins are just proof you've lived, and I love the life in you, Heeseung. They make you real, and real is what I want."

"You say that. But you don't know everything. The things I've done, the ways I've—"

"Then tell me," he said softly. "All of it. Every piece you think might make me walk away."

His lips traced a path along Heeseung's jaw. Each kiss was a quiet reassurance, a bandage for every wound. When he reached the sensitive spot behind Heeseung's ear, he paused. Breathed.

"If angels could sin," he whispered against Heeseung's skin, "I imagine it would look something like you."

Jay's words felt like freshly fallen snow. Soft, pure, and unyielding. 

Outside, the snow wasn't covering the world, it was preparing it. Protecting what was waiting to emerge. Softening the hard edges. Creating space for something new.

Ever patiently, waiting.

𝜗𝜚 

𝜗𝜚