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„I don’t wanna fight you either. But I don’t wanna see the world go through even more pain on top of what Elgar’nan has done. Do you?” – Rook snapped at Solas, holding the dagger in her damaged hands. She could feel her broken rib send a sharp pain into her side with each step.
„This world is broken, Rook. Because of my mistakes.” – Solas looked down in pain. He couldn’t go back. He lost everything, everyone. Chewed his own leg off like a trapped animal when he decided to break his own heart and betray Inquisitor Lavellan. It couldn’t all be for nothing.
„You’re right. You do need make up for the damage you’ve done. But breaking the world again is the wrong way to do it!” – Rook was desperately trying to argue with him. She knew he could easily overpower her if he wanted. Everyone was already at the end of their strenght.
„Letting the Veil collapse…”
„Is what you want. Making amends isn’t about what you want. You have a chance right now to save the world. Bind yourself to the Veil and stop it from falling.” – she extended the dagger towards him, still being uncertain if he would do the right thing. But there was no other alternative, not really. The Veil was collapsing quickly. Solas walked up to the Veil tear with a defeated look in his eyes.
„I can not.” -he sighed - "To stop now would dishonor those I have wronged to come this far!” – he shouted as he lifted the dagger up, ready to damn the whole world.
„You might want to ask those you have wronged what they think about that” – all of a sudden he could hear her voice behind his back. It was deeper, more tired, older, but it was her. It sent shivers down his spine and his heart filled with regret, love and pain.
„Vhenan…” - he whispered as he turned back carefully. He didn’t see Lavellan apart from dreams for so long. The sight of her sent a sharp pain into his stomach. Her eyes were sparkling with emotion. Anger and sorrow were reflecting in her gaze. She hadn’t seen Solas’ face in ten whole years. She wanted to be angry but she just felt the hurt and betrayal as fresh as the day Solas had left her. And behind it all, the love she had for him. After all this time. The love she could not get rid of despite everything and everyone telling her she should have let it go a long time ago.
„You use that name awfully lightly considering what you have put me through” – she walked up to him with her head held high.
„I know. I’m sorry. I lied to you. I betrayed you. There is nothing I can say that I haven’t already said. No apology that would make up for it. But please, you need to understand that this must be done. For our people” – he looked down in pain. His love for the Inquisitor was battling the regret in his heart, with the latter slowly overpowering him yet again.
„There it is again. How long will you be running from accountability?” – Lavellan hissed between her teeth. – „How long will you keep convincing yourself that what you do is unlitmately out of your hands?” – she was shouting at him with pain in her voice. – „You did this all. You killed Varric. You left me. You broke my heart” – her voice cracked. – “And against all reason, I have chased you around for ten years, Solas. And damn it, I still love you. I want to save you from yourself. But if you will not let me, if I have to take that dagger myself and bind you to the Veil, damn it, I will do it.”
„You know I have always loved you and will love you forever. In this lifetime and the next. But you need to keep yourself out of this, Vhenan.”
„You took that decision out of our hands when you decided to use and betray us all. Like it or not, you are our responsibilty too” – Dorian suddenly stepped out of the shadows.
„Please, I’m begging you. Just leave. Find a place that is likely to remain safe. This must be done” – Solas squeezed his eyes tight as he begun cutting into the Fade tear.
„No!” – Lavellan screamed as she lunged at him but the wave of energy pushed her down the stairs.
„Solas, you have to stop this now!” – Rook was trying to get closer to him as she could feel the tear weaken, demons hissing on the other side, waiting for the opportunity to jump.
„Please, Rook. I promise I will make sure to minimize the death as much as possible” – he was gripping the dagger desperately, trying to empty his mind.
„You’re talking about lives, you asshole! Not all of us can just be reborn.” – Rook screamed at him trying to push her way forward. The wind picked up and a smaller storm started to form around them, blowing the dust and the blight everywhere. Suddenly a Rage Demon jumped out of the tear, pushing Rook back several meters and burning her arm. She could feel her bones crack as she cried out in pain. Lucanis lifted her up, dragging her from the ground.
„It has begun. It would be best if you left” - Solas kept the dagger in place as Lavellan started walking towards him and demons begun clawing their way forward. Dorian tried fighting them off and killed a few as they watched the fade tear grow and grow and swallow the world.
„Solas!” – Lavellan screamed – „Please, stop. I forgive you. Mythal has forgiven you a long time ago. You have avenged her already. All you have to do is drop this insane plan” – she held her hands out in front of herself, trying to clear her vision. The storm was growing stronger. They could barely see now.
„Please leave, Vhenan!” – Solas screamed in desperation. He could suddenly hear the rage demon behind him roar and Lavellan crying out in pain. He looked behind himself and there she was, with her with her mouth agape, being stabbed through her side with a long, burning claw.
„NO!” – he screamed, dropping the dagger on the ground and killing the demon instantly with a wave of electricity. The wind died down as Lavellan fell on her knees, staring at her bloodied hands.
„Solas…”- she whispered in front of herself with her eyes wide open. She could feel the pain start to sharpen in her side as her blood was spilling on the ground. Solas immediately ran to her and picked her up into his arms.
„Vhenan. Oh, Vhenan. Why couldn’t you have listened!? – he was carressing her face gently - "Somebody, help us!” - he screamed - “Rook, please!” – he looked up at her in desperation as he could see the life drain out of Lavellan’s face. Rook looked over to Neve with questioning eyes and she shook her head with a sad expression.
„Ir Abelas, Vhenan” – Lavellan looked up at him with a shaky voice and tears in her eyes – „I was too stubborn to leave your side after all. I knew you would be the death of me” – she coughed up a little blood – „One way or the other…” - She could feel herself grow cold as Solas’ tears fell on her face. She saw visions of her clan, of the Inquisition, of Solas. She knew the end was near. She felt sad but relieved somehow.
„You… you have killed my friend” – Dorian hissed towards Solas, ready to lunge at him.
„She is not dead yet. There must be something we can do” – Solas sighed and looked around himself. He couldn’t think of anything. For all his power, the power of giving life was out of even his reach. His heart was aching. He was sure if Lavellan died it would kill whatever humanity he had left in him. Suddenly, a raven cut through the air and Morrigan dropped to the ground on its place.
„I’m sorry. The Inquisitor is deadly injured. She will not make it, Solas” – she noted in a sad tone. – „It is time you learned your own lesson, Dread Wolf. In the end, no victory comes without a terrible sacrifice. You were just willing to let others pay the price for you.” – she gestured around to all the dead bodies, to Rook being barely conscious in Lucanis’ arms, to Taash who was still wearing the pin they gave to Harding.
„Please, there has to be a way. She should not pay with her life for my mistakes” – Solas sobbed as he held Lavellan more tightly, like he was going to be able to hold her close enough to keep her alive.
„There is a way, but I have to warn you, it is not an easy one” – Morrigan said in a low tone. – „Luckily for you, I hold all of Mythal’s knowledge. Some of it, not even you know” – she explained, looking at Lavellan and putting her hand on her shoulder – „Her spirit is weak. It needs a life force. And life can only be traded with life. The border between the Fade and this world has been broken. If we separate part of your spirit from you and bind your body to the Veil, you might be able to transfer your life energy into her. Your essence would be left here and we could use it. With blood magic admittedly, but it is the only way. It would however make you what you call a Tranquil.”
Solas was staring a hole into the ground in front of himself with eyes widened by shock. He felt his chest tighten. For the first time in his life, he was truly terrified. He never feared death. But Tranquility… that was a fate worse than death. Lavellan looked at him with tired eyes.
„Don’t do this, Solas” - she whispered.
Dorian was kneeling next to the Inquisitor, carressing her hair, crying softly:
„You know you can not let her die for your mistakes”
„The clock is ticking, Dread Wolf” – Morrigan noted. – „What will you do?”
The air suddenly grew silent around them. Even Rook was in complete shock. The choice seemed impossible. Solas was suffering, as he was battling the conflicting emotions in her heart. He could see all his lives in front of himself. Everyone he loved, all the wrong things he has done, all of his regrets. The Fade, the Titans, the Ancient Elves, Mythal, Felassan, Corypheus, the Inquisiton. Lavellan in his arms, the solitude and the pain that followed. He finally arrived to the conclusion that this was always going to be the end. He took too many lives he had no right to decide over, betrayed too many people. His regret was always going to eat away at him, leading him to insanity and destruction. The cycle had to be broken. He sighed as he planted a kiss on Lavellan’s forehead and looked up at Morrigan, nodding at her. He glanced at Dorian, removing Lavellan from his arms and putting her in his.
„Ir Abelas, Vhenan. Know, when I have faded away, when I become a shell of myself, I will still remember you. I will remember loving you. Bellanaris” – with this, he stood up.
„Solas, I’m begging you” – Lavellan’s voice was fading away – „I can’t watch you make this sacrifice for me”
„I refuse to fail you again, my love” – he whispered as he walked away with Morrigan at her side. Tears were falling from Lavellan’s eyes as she shut them, burrying her face in Dorian’s shoulders.
„Rook. You were right. I’m sorry to have caused you so much pain. It will be the last regret I'll ever have” – he turned back to Rook, as Morrigan was cutting his hand with the blade, chanting in ancient Elvhen. They could see a blinding blue glow emerge from Solas as he was putting his bloodied fingers on his head in front of the Fade tear. Morrigan ran over to Lavellan.
„I’m sorry. This will likely hurt” – she whispered. Lavellan nodded as she plunged the dagger into her wound and the glow begun to transfer into her body. She screamed weakly as she could feel the life being drifted back into her. When it was over, Solas was standing in front of the Fade tear with an empty expression in his eyes.
„I bid you all farewell” – he said in a low tone as he stepped into the tear, dissapearing from their eyes and the tear vanishing after him.
„Solas…” – Lavellan begun crying softly and then slowly started sobbing uncontrollably. Dorian pulled her into a tight hug. She screamed with all the power in her lungs until she didn't have the energy to do it anymore. Then she just collapsed into Dorian's arms and stared up at the clearing sky.
Rook walked over to her with Davrin holding her from one side and Lucanis holding her on the other. She could barely stand and every breath she took sent pain down her entire body.
„I’m really sorry. I know he meant a lot to you. And however I felt about him, doing this in the end… he did right by you. By us” - she whispered.
„We will remember his sacrifice among everyone we have lost” – Morrigan noted. – „Now, we must depart from here. Rook is terribly injured and I don’t have another spirit to trade for her life.”
***
A few months, a few years from now, Lavellan would finally feel her heart heal as she was standing on the balcony of Skyhold for the last time. She watched the sun set behind the mountains as she remembered her memories with the Dread Wolf for the thousandth time. And while she would finally be able to move on with her life, her heart would always hold a place for the spirit that took away her life and gave it back in the end. Bellanaris.