Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Gods are busy.

It's a generally accepted fact. There's a lot to do when you're worshipped and deified and responsible for (sometimes literally) making the world turn.

Even when he wasn't riding a flaming chariot across the sky, Apollo was also the god of archery, music and dance, truth and prophecy, healing and diseases, light, poetry, and more. The Sun thing had been a more recent development from a couple centuries ago, when the titan Helios had 'disappeared'. Well, he'd actually been turned into a flaming labyrinth and eventually faded into Khaos but that was an entirely different legally published story.

Point is, there's a million and one things that Apollo was doing. And he'd made more Apollos to do them. Gods were very convenient that way. They could be anywhere, anytime and at how many times and places they wanted. It stretched them a little thin sometimes, certainly, but as far as he was aware there wasn't another imminent war on the horizon. Apollo could afford some godly multitasking after that six month long journey as Lester Papadopoulos.

Which was why he was in the bedroom of his golden palace in the skies, with a beautiful view of the stables where his steeds grazed on their gilded grass. Apollo sat cross-legged on an all-gold chair that he'd started to find pompous after being mortal for so long. Gold had been his thing for…roughly two or three thousand years.

Time for a change.

Apollo snapped his fingers. The gold throne-like chair transformed into a comfortable green hammock, decorated with hand-embroidered suns. It wasn't like he'd pulled the design from thin air. He'd received it as an offering from one of the kids a few…decades ago.

'I should make sure they had enough drachma to cross safely,' Apollo thought, sending a messenger crow with a bag of drachma for Charon. Call it a future deposit. And a bribe. 

He leaned back on the hammock, enjoying the peace and quiet. Apollo couldn't really stop his mind from racing around in circles from anxiety. It'd been a bit of a leftover from being human; certainly not a bad thing. Jason told him to remember what being human was like, even when he became a god again. Apollo was finding that…well, it was a thing. He'd occasionally chatted with Dionysus about the continuing existential crisis and more-often-than-he-should popped into Camp Half-Blood to check on his kids.

Last time he'd gone, Will and Nico had already left on their quest. Apollo had given them as much aid as was godly possible. Tartarus was a horrible destination for a quest, especially for his sunny children. Beyond his domain and influence and he wouldn't even be able to see if Will and his boyfriend needed help. Not for the first time, Apollo mentally cursed Zeus' arbitrary rules regarding quests and interventions and…Well, it's a good thing the King of the Gods wasn't the God of Mindreading or else he'd have been smote. Again.

[You have 830 missed prayers.]

Apollo stretched his godly muscles and settled in to listen. The missive of prayers appeared in a golden scroll, popping into existence on a whim and unfurling itself obediently. The words shifted and swirled and played impressive HD audio.

It was easier to deal with prayers all at once rather than listening as they came in. That was a recipe for crashing the sun chariot and nobody wanted that. No prayers and driving, people! So whenever he had the off-time, Apollo would just sit back and listen.

"Dear Lord Apollo, the prophecies-"

"You blonde motherfu-"

"Phoebus Apollo, I beseech you-"

"Yoo!! Apollo, dude, you have got to-"

"Dad!! I finally got the target 30 times in a row!"

They were very diverse. Apollo hummed thoughtfully, skimming over the names as they came along. A few romans, some greeks, nymphs, satyrs, musicians, priests, a whole menagerie. His kids were praying more too. It was…sweet. The backlog from when he was mortal was mostly his kids rambling about Capture the Flag or new campers or something equally mundane, ending with well-wishes for his inevitable return to godhood.

Some prayers he answered. A few enchanted arrows and lyres for his kids never hurt anyone and they were so looking forward to beating the Ares kids in Capture the Flag, which Apollo could 100% support. He was hesitant to talk to ex-lovers again, after the whole 'my vengeful past tries to kill me and I totally deserved it' with all the other past lovers, but he'd owed them. Apollo sent a few protections to them; wards to stave off monsters, rent money, really pointy knives…

Logically, he could do more. But some of his lovers tended to be a little too stab-happy and not very happy with his whole...ditching them with a newborn demigod. Which, totally fair and Apollo could see that now with the benefit of hindsight and a whole lot of living the consequences of his actions recently. 

"Dad, Apollo, Lord, Sunshine. I don't know what to call you but I really need your help," The next prayer was sent in desperation. Apollo sat up. This was months ago. Was he already too late? "I woke up in a coffin. There's a firebreathing cat thing behind me. And I don't know where I am. Some type of castle..? SHOOT IT'S GETTING CLOS-"

The audio cut off, muffled by a roar of fire. Apollo knew his fire. It sounded hot, like concentrated blue flames that most certainly hurt.

"It's fine," Apollo panicked, sitting up straight and maybe causing a solar flare. "My kids are fireproof. Mostly. Actually that's more Hephaestus but still—"

He wasn't sure whether or not to feel relieved when he found more prayers under that name.

Euanthe Celeste. 

There were around 58 missed prayers. Apollo tried to dig deeper in his memories because surely he wasn't that negligent to his kids before. Right? There must be something—

"The Giant War," Apollo swallowed. It'd been a little before he'd been dragged to court before Zeus and banished. The final battle, where the demigods had delivered the giant Athena statue, and Gaia was about to reform and…He remembered so many of his children had died. He hadn't felt much back then, too caught up in the whirlwind drama that ensued. 

Now, it hit like a kick to the face. The air escaped from his lungs and he had to will himself to breathe again. 

They had been…stabbed? Tossed off a cliff? He couldn't quite remember. It was probably Octavian and that made it even worst because...

Self loathing came back in full. It was an old friend of Lester Papadopoulos. Apollo didn't think it would become his friend as well. 

The prayers glowed innocently suspended in the air, turning from an orderly scroll to floating baubles of light barely keeping their shape together. Apollo reached out, preparing for a long night. His other aspects reigned in, retiring for the night, as the sun god regained himself. He made sure to send an apology to Meg McCaffrey who had been using him as a make-shift torch for exploring the basement of her new-old home. 

This needed his full attention. 

"Good news! I'm not dead," The next prayer began. Good, good. So far, so good.  "I think I was kidnapped by a cult." Dammit. "There was a whole ceremony with a mirror and this guy named Crowley, any relation to Alister Crowley? Well, he said that I couldn’t go home because the mirror and black horses kidnapped me and they don’t know where Long Island or Earth are and I'm freaking out and—"

The prayer cut off. It ended with what sounded like a wall caving in. Not a great sign.

The next few prayers were equally bad for his mental health. If not worst. There were fewer responsible adults at this Night Raven College then at Camp Half Blood!

 Could his child please stop nearly dying??

Chapter Text

Being a Half-Blood is scary. It mostly gets you killed in very nasty ways.

They'd had that dream again. Not the prophetic, demigod sort.  No, it was a flashback to one of their earliest memories of Camp Half-Blood; the once-sunny sky of the eastern coast clouded by Stymphalian birds, their satyr guide yelling, "Hurry Up, Buttercups!" while waving his stick like a baseball bat, their papa carrying them over his shoulder in a panic since their legs had given out after being pecked bleeding.

After what seemed like forever, they had reached a strawberry field on Long Island where a horde of harpies spotted the flock and went straight into a feeding frenzy. Blood and feathers splattered throughout the strawberries, whose dryads and satyrs were not happy. Mr D greeted them with a round of Pinochle on the porch and they were pretty (no, definitely) sure he cheated after winning thirteen games before Chiron could wake up and take them to watch the orientation film.

(They never wanted to see Apollo in a toga that short ever again.)

It was nice to have a normal nightmare for once.

Lately, they'd had myriad of prophetic, ambiguous cartoon-style dreams about the great seven and the overblots. Whether it was a band of card soldiers singing about painting roses, a snarky lion singing to hyenas, a drag queen octopus with a golden contract or a thorn fairy cursing a baby. The amount of parallels and metaphors made their head hurt. And they still had no idea what the talking mouse in the mirror was about.

The prophetic dreams definitely came from their dad's side of the family. The godly one. They still prayed to him on occasion but Yuu's given up on getting anything from Apollo.

If Luke was right about anything, it was that gods rarely had the time of day for their kids. That's not to say Yuu would side with the Titans or, gods forbid, the Giants but they can't say the thought hasn't crossed their mind. Not that they would say that either. No deathwish from this demigod, best you look for Perseus Jackson and his precocious, god-spurning ways. 

Honestly, whatever side Percy was on, they'd pick in a heartbeat. He was the goofball Cabin Head who had regularly shared blue s'mores with the younger campers (before he disappeared) and also a genuine force of nature in his own right. Terrifying, untamed, like a monster on the battlefield. Even before the Achille's curse. Apparently, Percy was a lot like his dad. Couldn't use a bow to save his life though. Yuu wondered how he was doing after being kidnapped by a Marriage Goddess and sent behind enemy lines. Last they'd heard he'd become praetor which was apparently like super important.

Definitely sounded like Percy. 

 When the memories got too much or when they were spiraling thinking about whether or not everyone they knew and loved was dead (not a great way to get beauty sleep), Yuu found themselves basking in the sun of Twisted Wonderland and just…praying. Giving little updates like how they learned to bake with Trey, how Cater roped them into making a Magicam account, how Leona likes to drag them to the garden for mid-afternoon naps because the sun was apparently just that much nicer when they were around. 

(They're not sure they believe him.) 

Yuu grabbed their lyre from the couch, where they'd left it when Grim had dragged them into the kitchen demanding tuna cans for dinner. They strummed absentmindedly, tuning the instrument as they went. 'Allegra' The Lyre was a gift from Lilia as thanks for inviting Malleus to the VDC and also a thinly veiled attempt to recruit them into the Light Music Club.

It was a humble, wood-carved instrument with intricate patterns of hyacinths, laurels and sun motifs. They very nearly (but most certainly did not, don't listen to Ace) burst into tears when they had unwrapped the present.

"Hey dad," They said to the empty room. "You probably can't hear me or maybe you don’t care but I wrote a song. About the wild few months in NRC. I'm somehow the most qualified therapist on campus apparently." They laughed dryly. "Though, Crowley definitely needs to hire a new one. The last one quit half-way through the year after Azul tried to scam them and Riddle nearly cut off their head, uh, figuratively."

They strummed the lyre again. Apollo's children rose with the sun; it was a common stereotype back at camp but the truth was that inside Cabin Seven it got way too bright to ignore whenever their dad started his daily voyage. After that, it'd become habit to wake up before the sun rose then unless you wanted to be woken up by the force of UV radiation straight to the eyeballs. Did not help that the entire building was solid gold.

Another benefit of being the child of Apollo? No concerns about skin cancer from solar radiation. They're dad wasn't actively trying to kill them, probably. Maybe that's why half the cabin had the complexion of roasted marshmallows. 

"Waking in coffins,

A world far away from camp,

Has become my home."

Yuu wasn't sure why they started with a dumb haiku. Percy had once loudly recounted complained about Apollo's love of haikus to the campfire. The appeal was as enigmatic as anything else concerning their godly parent. They definitely did not inherit the love of poetry from their dad.

But song? Yes. Yuu continued singing to the empty room, which echoed back in hauntedly beautiful notes.

Music was how their papa, the mortal one, met the godly one and fell in love. The story was probably more x-rated than their papa was willing to retell to their innocent and impressionable self. At least he hadn't ended up like any of Apollo's more notorious lovers. Becoming a flower for the rest of your life sounded like it really sucked (no offence to the anthousai).

Allegra helped them spin a melody of mystery, adventure and intrigue in staccatos and pianissimos that crescendo-ed into fortissimo. Lighter tones mixed in for friendship, thunderous strums like lightning for danger, staggers for doubt, build-ups for triumphs. They continued making up the lyrics as they went along. Whatever felt right. 

There had been overblots, bullies and general scheming. And then there were issues that they couldn’t solve with an arrow to the face. Night Raven College was weird like that.

Yuu continued singing. They'd been going on for a few minutes. Though they felt the thirst for water at the back of their mind, their voice didn't waver. Clear and true. Their dad, God of Truth, and that explained too much and helped nothing. Yuu was an awful liar, the syllables literally burning at their throat whenever they tried. It was horrible against Leona's schemes or Azul's chicanery or Jamil's…

 Well, it was bad for a lot of them.

But they survived. Somehow.

Yuu's melody slowed down. They were at peace with their circumstances. Accepting, even. Twisted Wonderland was a world away from their friends, siblings, their mortal dad and mentors. Heck, they even missed Mr D who occasionally shared mental-health tips and helped calm down their nightmares for no other reason than it would've been annoying otherwise.

But Twisted Wonderland was a world away from enemies too. No monsters around the corner, hidden Titans trying to rise from Tartarus (well…actually there was that thing was Styx but they really didn't want to think about it) or all-power Earth goddesses out to ruin everything they knew and loved.

Yuu opened their eyes, expecting silence and finding applause.

They nearly dropped their lyre as they zeroed in on the entrance hall where a familiar trio of seniors were clapping. Since when did they… Yuu was really letting their guard down if teenagers could sneak up on them.

What if it had been a monster? They'd be dead.

"Those were some awesome riffs, Prefect!" Cater climbed onto the couch, smiling gleefully with his goofy apparently-exclusive cartoonish phone in hand. He had been recording them. Yuu wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Where was the man-eating cyclops when they needed one? "Mind if I post this on Magicam? They'd totally go crazy for this! Or do you want to put it on yours?" 

"Uhh…" Yuu gripped their lyre uncomfortably. It wasn't that they were shy or anything but…well, a lifetime of saying 'if you use a phone you'd attract monsters and die' was a pretty good way of putting kids off technology.

"How about we put that off for now?" Trey said. "It looks like they had a bit on their mind."

Riddle nodded. "We should respect their boundaries, Cater."

Their ginger-haired senior sighed dramatically. "Fine~ No worries, freshie. I'll delete it for you."

"Thank you," Yuu said. "What are you all doing at Ramshackle anyways? Shouldn’t you be yelling at first years for oversleeping or something?"

"Role call isn't for another half-hour," Trey explained. "We actually came to invite you to the Unbirthday Party this weekend."

Riddle nodded, smiling softly and contentedly. A far cry from the mad tyrant they'd met at the beginning of the year. "It will likely be the last Unbirthday celebration of the year, hence, we wanted to invite you personally."

"Yep! You've totally become an honorary member, Grimmy too!" Cater cheered, hooking an arm over their shoulder. "Selfie?"

"Sure?" Yuu smiled awkwardly as Cater snapped their picture, Trey and Riddle standing in the background.

"Cute! The sun's so nice to you, look at that lighting! Super photogenic!" Cater cheered, tapping away on his phone. "#favouritefreshmen #almosttheend #newyearcoming!"

"You shouldn’t play favourites," Trey sighed fondly.

"There's no rule against it, right?" Cater looked over to Riddle, who begrudgingly nodded.
 

"No, there's nothing about favouritism of persons in the Queen of Heart's 810 rules," Riddle said. "However, it is still a shady practice that can lead to resentment, as noted in multiple recent psychological studies."

Yuu chuckled. "You've been reading up?"

Riddle blushed as red as his namesake. "Well, um, it was interesting. And psychological studies help deepen your understanding of personal motivations which can be immensely beneficial in the field of law. And…"

"There's no need to justify it," Trey said as Riddle nodded stiffly. "Riddle's been trying to get a law internship for his fourth year. It's one of the harder prerequisites to get since you need high marks but…"

"It's Riddle Rosehearts who gets perfect marks," Yuu concluded. 

"It's not guaranteed unless I maintain my marks," Riddle said. "And I will work hard to do so."

They all knew he would. Along with juggling his Housewarden responsibilities, tutoring younger students, being the leader of the Equestrian Club and dealing with his own issues.

"As long as you don't get burnt out," Yuu said. "If it's this weekend…we'll have Friday off early, won't we? Do you need any extra hands to prepare then?"

"No," Riddle said. "That would be…Parents Day."

Cater and Trey shared looks as they glanced over at Riddle, who just rolled his eyes in response. He'd probably been getting those looks for a while then.

"So, who are we expecting?" Yuu asked dryly.

"Mother," Riddle said. "Father is preoccupied." 

"My parents are coming," Trey added. "My younger siblings too. They like visiting Sage Island for the sights. It's a lot different than back home and they take the excuse to take a break from the bakery."

"Mama and Papa Clover always bring the best snacks," Cater piped up. "You've got to try the Ginger-Black Pepper Ice Cream Sandwiches."

"I don't think I want to."

Cater shrugged. "More for me! My older sisters are coming. Ma and Pa are too busy this year. How about you?"

"Uhh…" Yuu tried to school their expression before it could fall. Cater seemed to catch his mistake, green eyes widening slightly, before chuckling boisterously and changing the topic.

"I can't believe we're nearly fourth years!" Cater wailed, ambushing them in a bear hug. "I feel so old! I'm so gonna miss my favourite freshmen! And Unbirthday Parties! And Rosaria!"

"The painting?" Trey said dryly. "I'll miss everyone as well. More importantly, Riddle, will you be okay? You'll need to find a new Vice Housewarden since I won't be around much. Do you have anyone in mind?"

"It will certainly not be the same without your baking," Riddle shuddered as if remembering a traumatic memory. "To answer your question, I don't have anyone in mind at the moment."

"What about Ace or Deuce?" Trey suggested. "They've been pretty good influences for the cohort this year."

"I hesitate to call them good but they certainly were influences," Riddle looked like he swallowed a sour lemon. "Deuce is diligent and has a good outlook however he would certainly struggle with the new responsibilities which could affect his grades more than they already are…Ace, on the other hand, while perhaps suitable skill wise is…"

The type of person to think rules are suggestions and would happily incite a revolution if it meant he didn’t have to do his homework or other menial tasks.

Yuu almost felt bad for Riddle if those two were his top candidates. They strummed their lyre thoughtfully. "If you still have time, how about a song to get your mind off the stress? And yes, Cater, you can record this time."

"Ohhh? I won't say no to that," Cater looked contemplative. "You know, Prefect. It'd be a great side hustle for you to post your music. You're pretty good."

Yuu shrugged. Music came easy. It was a package deal with being the child of the God of Music. They steadied their lyre in their hands and tested a scale. Soon enough, they were singing a familiar hymn.

It was the first thing that Lee Fletcher, former Cabin Head before his head got bashed in by a giant in the Battle of the Labyrinth, had taught them after they'd been claimed. The Hymn To Apollo (Ancient Greek Version) was invaluable to any self-respecting Cabin Seven member. It was the song of healing; the easiest one, at least. More often then not their other siblings would belt the Mama Mia soundtrack or any other pop songs that came to mind. Something sunny and deeply ironic most of the time. 

Or death metal. Their older brother, Ray, liked to scream death metal at his patients just to see their faces. He died in the Battle of Manhattan bashing monster brains with his guitar before he'd been stung by a chimera.  

By the time Yuu finished playing, Cater was excitedly pausing the recording to bombard them with praise. Riddle and Trey clapped politely before stopping Cater from tackling them in an enthusiastic selfie-session. The atmosphere was lighter than air, with laughter abound and troubles forgotten.

 "You're like a total pro at this!" Cater said, waving his camera around. "There's no way a record label wouldn't find this and pay you!

"Pay me what..?"

"Money!"

"Really?!" Yuu exclaimed, interest piqued. Money was good. Money was very good. Money meant Grim wouldn't complain about not enough tuna cans in the middle of the night when they'd already fed him. Besides, Headmage Crowley was always using their food budget to blackmail them.

By the mischievous twinkle in his eye, Cater was thinking the same thing.

"What do you have in mind?"

They'd mentioned their little project with Cater at the First Year's monthly sleepover. Ever since they'd tried to stake out Mickey Mouse in the magic mirror, their first year friends had taken to staying over just in case. Recently, even Sebek had been corralled to join them.

They were all chilling in piles of pillows and blankets on the floor, keeping half an eye on the mirror and the other half on making sure Ortho wasn’t looking up monopoly cheats  or Ace hiding cards in UNO. 

"We have to see this 'project' of yours Prefect," Ace grinned impishly. "Dibs on first viewing!" 

"No way," Deuce threw a pillow at him. "We're watching it together." 

Ortho beamed, wide-eyed and curious and so adorable for a murder-happy android. "Would you like me to encourage the algorithm to enhance viewing potential when you release it?"

"Would you?" Yuu passed around the way too healthy snacks. Vil had insisted on packing for their sleepovers since he still felt bad for the poisoning during the Overblot that had prevented them from participating in the VDC. Plus, he wanted to make sure Epel was getting proper nutrients and not just gouging on junk food the minute his back was turned. "That'd be nice. Do you know how long it takes to get monetised?"

"Better to ask Vil about that kind of thing," Epel said, glaring at the healthy hors d'oeuvres and hand-picking apple treats. "He's a celebrity, right?"

"He's not really in the music industry though," Ace said. "More like modelling and acting and stuff."

"He's been in a few musicals," Jack countered, his tail swooshing around excitedly. "And music videos too. He'd definitely know his stuff."

"Master Lilia would certainly be informed about this topic!" Sebek yelled, his indoor voice sounding more like a police siren. "His experience as part of the Light Music Club would be invaluable to your endeavor!"

Deuce nodded diligently, swatting away Ace's hands from his snack plate. "Well, he's not wrong. The Light Music Club has all kinds of instruments and recording equipment, doesn't it? Are you going to collab with them for the Music Video?"

"Well, yeah," Yuu said. "I don't really know how you guys do this kind of stuff. I'm just the musician."

Grim rolled over onto his stomach, snoozing away in a food coma after devouring most of the snacks from earlier allocated specifically to him by a sad Kalim who was bummed out at not being able to attend the sleepover due to Housewarden stuff. He'd become much more responsible ever since fist-fighting Jamil in a dream.

"The Film Studies Club would be happy to help too!" Ortho said, starry-eyed. "I'll bring it up to Vil at the next meeting!"

"Are you sure he'd agree to something like that?" Deuce asked. "Senior Schoenheit has a pretty packed schedule already and he's already working on a project with the club already, isn't he?"

"It's actually been pretty quiet since the year is almost over," Ortho said. "I think Vil will like the challenge! Plus, there's more than enough members who have already finished their roles so they've been wanting something new."

"We'll see what happens," Yuu shrugged, stroking Grim's super soft fur and cooing internally. If they ever made it past the age of eighteen, they were so becoming a crazy cat lady. Cabin in the woods and all. "Also, it's my turn for choosing the game. Anyone up for a round of Pinochle?"

The collective groan of future losers sounded throughout the room. 

It'd taken a prerecording of a song that they'd made up on the spot with the Light Music Club but Vil had agreed to film a music video. He'd insisted on doing their make-up and costume, as well as getting photographs for the album cover and behind-the-scenes, which Yuu hadn't even considered before going to their Senior. Total pro energy, right there. Professionalism personified.

Another thing he insisted on? No Grim. No ifs ands or buts. Their Senior was adamant that their feral feline friend would stay back at Ramshackle with the ghosts. To be fair, the rascal seemed about as enthusiastic for the video as anything not involving tuna cans. Which is to say, not in the least. 

"The coat can stay," Vil said, pulling out a rack of costume changes from the travel trunk. "Make sure you have plenty of water as well. It's very easy to get dehydrated but that can severely diminish your performance capability and I expect you in top form."

 Yuu made happy noises, snuggling in the faux-fur, dalmation patterned cardigan with cute tails that they'd gotten from Professor Crewel after getting perfect marks in Potionology. It was basically their comfort blanket because being in a shoot in the middle of the woods with several people who've nearly killed them (something they were unfortunately accustomed to being in a camp with the overly competitive Ares and Athena kids who thought the 'no maiming' rule was a suggestion) was a stressful experience.

Especially since their location scout, Jade Leech (the second most questionable student after Rook Hunt who was currently stalking them from the tree line and pretending to be subtle), was standing in the corner with a shark-toothed grin.

He hadn't said much (or maybe said too much and their brain flatlined) after they had approached him in the Mountain Lover's Club Room about help with the video, running off to grab some maps off the wall and ushering them out with the promise of a perfect location by shoot day. After three hours of hiking, they had arrived by the most picturesque alcove with a view of the ocean and the promised setting sun framed by cliffsides by the golden hour.

Vil was pleased. The equipment crew, who had to haul the copious amounts of make-up bags, lighting, sound and compartmentalized closets, was not.

They were pretty sure they'd sold their soul to this world's devil in the process but Jade had been grinning ear-to-ear on the hike whilst pointing out local fungi and parasitic insects and other things that made their skin crawl. At least he was having fun (at the collective horror on their faces whenever he picked up a parasitized ant and showed off the mushroom cap sapping its life force and free will).

The crew had collapsed nearby after setting up the equipment and was taking respite as Vil and Ortho worked on their makeup and costume. Ortho flittered around taking notes and shadowing Vil like an unpaid intern, excitedly going on about his different thoughts with the upperclassman acting as a straight-man soundboard to correct the android's internet-based misconceptions about filming and other such topics.

Lilia, Cater and Kalim were nearby tuning their instruments, having already been dolled up by the other members of the Film Studies Club. As the star of the show, Vil had insisted on foisting his standards of absolute perfection onto them. At least he was being nice about it.

Yuu wasn't sure their frail self-esteem could take a hit from the full force of a Vil Schoenheit special.

"A lighter shade of eyeshadow will compliment your natural beauty," Vil mused. "But if we're going for mysterious traveler from another world, perhaps a darker shade will compliment better."

"Hmm. Maybe something in the middle or a darker shade with sparkles?" Ortho suggested. Vil looked satisfied with the suggestion, giving Ortho a pat on the head through the flame-like shaders and taking out another brush from his seemingly endless make-up kit.

"If I may," Jade said, scanning the shoreline. "You have about 15 minutes before the sunset begins."

"I've already tuned Allegra," Yuu said. "We can start when the make-up department is done."

Vil steadied their head with a poised hand, dabbing their cheeks with blush. "Stop moving, potato."

"Sorry, Vil."
 

By the time Vil had finished they had five minutes to spare gawking at their reflection in the water as they played a warmup with the Light Music Club. Cater had his hair down for once, dressed in a street-style of red and rocking his electric guitar. Lilia was unfairly pretty for a seven-hundred-year-old man with his highlighted hair slicked back, black-and-magenta collar and ripped jeans with an oversized NRC shirt and a base guitar decorated with bats. Kalim was on drums, with a beanie over his fluffy white hair and wearing the same style streetwear with a plaid jacket. They wondered if this 'band' was a bit too heavy on the strings.

Maybe next time they'll pick up a clarinet or oboe. If they had time, Yuu had been wanting to try a xylophone. 

The shoot itself was a four-hour-long endeavor that started and ended with several songs recorded live and then being hunted through the woods by a cameraman with a feather hat for visual impact. Of all the people they'd met, Rook was definitely one of the few who could match their sibling's prowess with a bow. Which is to say, he's very lucky they didn’t have one to shoot him back for snagging their coat!

Afterwards, Jade had been more than happy to play sea monster, illuminating the night with his long eel-form and quite literally taking their breath away when he 'jokingly' pulled them into the water for a nighttime swim.

"Thank the Sevens the make-up is waterproof," Vil muttered, watching the scene with a director's eye. 

At one point, Lilia had tossed them off a cliff and floated around to make sure they weren't a limp body in the middle of the ocean and to take some more cinematic shots. No CGI required. Just a very mischievous fae general with nothing better to do than help younglings with death defying stunts.

Something told them that music video filming tended to be less…reckless? But Yuu was enjoying the adrenaline of near-death pumping through their veins. And it definitely beat having to be a midwife for a satyr baby seconds before a life or death battle that they're not sure they had won.

Halfway through the shoot, Kalim, Cater and Lilia encouraged them to join an impromptu dance party, dancing under the fairy-light set up of the equipment. Vil thought it was good enough to add to the video. He motioned to Ortho to pick up a camera. 

Yuu pulled Jade onto the dance floor as revenge for nearly drowning them in the oceanic abyss.

"Do be gentle with me," He chuckled, a nervous edge invading his composed countenance.

"Nah," They had to climb onto a chair to spin him around correctly, given the height difference, but it was worth it. They took Jade's moment of hesitance as his brain caught up to his feet to use him as leverage to jump down. Jade was barely keeping his footwork together as he spun them around for centrifugal force and not having both of them collapse into a heap. The eel huffed with bemusement before a mischievous glee entered his expression and they took that as a cue to book it.

They failed, being dragged along with his dance floor antics until their head was spinning. 

Rook decided that was enough of an invitation to join in the background, dragging a hesitant but somewhat interested Jamil (who had been supervising Kalim) who outshined them all with his breakdancing and a definitely reluctant but 'smile for the camera' Vil who was probably screaming inside. Cameraman Ortho was very diligent in capturing the scene and definitely deserved a raise from unpaid club member.

"Cut!" Vil's scream was ignored amidst the chaos.

"There were definitely better people for this," Idia grumbled.

"The Film Club went on strike after Vil appointed Jade as semi-official location scout. So no, there really isn't," Yuu said, lounging on Idia's bed. He had the softest mattress and comforter at Night Raven College, something they'd discovered after bribing him with Grim Cuddles to help with the project. "Besides, we all saw your video editing skills in action a while back. They weren't half-bad."

"My quality control is going to be Schoenheit. Half bad isn't going to cut it," Idia countered. He cooed softly as Grim turned over in his lap, hugging a stuffed fish. Relatable.

"Do your best," They said. "Would you like some help?"

"No thanks," Idia said. "Less trouble if I do it myself. Don't need a noob to cramp my style."

Yuu would have been offended if it weren't true. They'd probably have managed to get the computers infected with a half dozen viruses if Idia let them near the keyboard. Iris Messaging was so much more convenient. Unfortunately, they didn't have any drachma. Even if they did, would there even be reception in another world? It wouldn’t be improbable because, well, gods and all. But like…would they?

"Henchmen!" Grim exclaimed. "I was promised tuna cans!"

He held up the stuffed fish which had been bitten and covered in cat drool. Did he actually think that was a real fish? Yuu sighed fondly and plucked out a tuna can from their bag, throwing it over to their partner.

"Better?"

The stench of fish filled the room, mixing with the old energy drink and motor oil. Idia was completely unaffected (did he have functioning olfactory organs anymore?), his blue hair flickering pink with delight as Grim gobbled up the fish in his lap.

"This is the best!" Grim cheered, guzzling down the tuna can like it was hard tequila.

"So cute~ So fluffy~ Look at the beans~" Idia was in his personal heaven with Grim on his lap. "Leave the editing to me. As long as you keep bringing him over!"

"Yeah, I know the deal," They chuckled, laying back on the bed. Idia really did have the comfiest bedsheets. If they weren't so concerned about finding confidential government files under his pillow covers or something, they'd have stolen so many of his blankets.

Beep. Beep.

'O Zeus kai alloi theoi. Please don't let it be him,' They rolled over, covering their ears with a pillow. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no-

Beep. Beep.

"What’s with the dinosaur of a ring tone?" Idia asked.

Yuu sighed. They were hoping it was the product of their imagination. Crowley had given them a hand-me-down phone with the speed of a tortoise a little before winter break. It had come in handy when they'd been held hostage but they were also tempted to punt it out a window whenever a call came in because ten times out of ten it was Crowley needing help with something.

 The headache (and no, they did not misspeak) has called them for anything from paperwork, janitorial duties, extra hands in the cafeteria kitchen, dealing with the living paintings who were just as temperamental as the students (at that point, get normal paintings or did it mess with your aesthetic, Crowley?), magical beasts appearing around campus and other stuff that probably should have required a permit. All in the name of child exploitation making the most out of the magicless prefect.

They put the phone to their ears, ignoring how Idia cringed at the sight and called it an antique. "Yes?"

("I'm so getting them a new phone," Idia murmured. Grim yawned on his lap and his soul ascended to heaven from cuteness overload.)

"Prefect! Perfect timing," Crowley's overly jubilant voice was grainy over the speakers. "Your assistance is required for preparations for Parents Day! With all the incidents this year a united front will be able to alleviate much of the anxiety surrounding our, er, educational circumstances."

Covering things up, he means. Yuu rolled their eyes. Typical. Usually, they'd snap their fingers and Mist everything back together again. Twisted Wonderland didn't have that privilege. Which was probably a good thing considering half of the students would send the world straight to Tartarus (the primordial, evil one) with that kind of power.

"I'm certain the opportunity to work on such an integral day will bring such joy! Especially since your parents won't be in attendance due to, um, circumstances," Crowley cheered. Yuu wasn’t sure if the myth that rolling their eyes too much would cause them to fall out. But if it was then they were pretty damn close to losing their eyeballs. "Oh, I'm so kind! Aren't I?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm so glad we agree!" Crowley said. "Now, can you pick up some ingredients by the greenhouse? Crewel will know what I'm talking about. Do be quick though. Time is of the essence!"

Beep.

The call ended abruptly. Their mood, which had been quite sunny up until this point, turned into a rainstorm. Idia's room was awkwardly silent, the clicking keys and pop-up pings echoing for a few hollow seconds.

Yuu threw themselves together; jumping off the bed, putting on their jacket, stuffing everything in the bag and running out the room.

"Take care of Grim!" They yelled over their shoulder. "I'll be back later!"

"Take your time!" 

'Hey Apollo, dad. Did I get cursed or something? On purpose? Accidentally? Does Lady Tyche hate me? Can you even tell or is it just like my natural luck?!' Yuu frantically looked around the hallways. They had a basket of herbs and newt eyes and witch-y stuff packed into a basket.

Professor Crewel had offered to guide them back to the office but they had foolishly declined on the assumption it would be the same as always. And had run out before he could explain the kerfuffle.

The kerfuffle being that Crowley had really meant it when he said they were stepping up for Parents Day preparations. Ghosts filled the hallway, carrying trays of food and pots of flowers. Augustus, the cafeteria boss ghost, was putting up floating flyers with ectoplasm flames, showing their 'SPECIAL FEATURE MENU'. Banners in all the colors of the dorms (exempting Ramshackle. Obviously) were hung up with magical ribbons tying them to the wall.

Yuu had to jump out of the way of a runaway red carpet unfurling itself across the hall. Looking ahead, to the line of bodies trapped under the carpet, others clearly weren't so lucky.

"Yuu!"

They spotted Kalim Al-Asim being suspended in the air by a stressed-looking Jamil holding him for dear life while standing on a stray table. It looked like he was also nearly victim of the spontaneous red carpet.

"Good evening, Prefect," Jamil unceremoniously dropped Kalim onto the floor, where his feet landed on his cardigan, tripped and left the boy sprawled in a heap on the floor. Jamil sighed. "You seem to be in a rush. Got caught in the buzz?"

Yuu nodded. "Parent's day, right?"

They heard a growl from under the carpet. Brown braids peeked out, as well as a hand reaching the air from underneath. Yuu poked at the hand, which was clawed and grabbed them back in a vice grip. Leona Kingscholar climbed out from underneath, looking as murderous as a lion in front of a gazelle. He growled at the apologetic ghosts who turned around the straighten out the carpet.

"You alright?" They asked.

"Peachy," Leona grumbled. "Shouldn't you be running errands for the crow or something?" He glanced at their basket of ingredients. "Poisoning him works too."

"Tempting, but no. These aren't for anything remotely as satisfying," Yuu said. "Crowley said he needed a delivery from Crewel. No idea what it's for. Don't care either. Just going to go get the job done and not get steamrolled by ghosts along the way."

Leona rolled his eyes. Jamil nodded appreciatively. One of them definitely knew the pain of an incompetent employer. No offence to Kalim, he was like sunshine incarnate and if he hadn't shown them his fifteen (thirty??) identical looking siblings then they might've guessed he was their dad's kid. Jury's still out on that.

"We can help!" Kalim said excitedly. "Right, Jamil?"

Jamil sighed. "Fine. We were just taking the carpet on a walk anyways."

"You walk your carpet?" Leona's ears were flattened. He was still salty about the carpet then, glaring at the gathering ghosts who were just trying to do their job. They're still not sure about the ethics of post-mortem employment but the ghosts seemed happy to busy themselves with taking care of teenagers 24/7. Leona looked ready to stalk off to the greenhouse and pass out for the next ten hours.

 Which was too bad because he fell over (again) and landed on a carpet.

"Hello there, Mr Flying Carpet," Yuu said. The carpet tassels waved back. It had appeared with a startle, tripping over their upperclassmen with its plush body. Leona stared at the ceiling with a faraway 'what is the meaning of life' expression on his face. Kalim and Jamil stepped on the carpet.

"This will be much safer than trying to shove through that," Jamil gestured vaguely to the hallway of ghosts. The carpet perked up and shot thirty feet into the air.

They clung for dear life.

Kalim's laughter reverberated through the hallway as they soared above the ghosts. Behind him, Jamil was making sure they and the basket of deliverables (highly flammable, do not handle without care) didn't fall off the carpet along with Leona.

"Is he okay?" Yuu looked back to see Leona sprawled over Azul, who was probably taking advantage of the chaos to get kudo points with the ghosts employees (maybe snatching a few from Crowley's grasp). Floyd was laughing at the Housewarden pile nearby, his dolphin-like cackles soon disappearing with a whoosh as the carpet sped up.

"Who's okay!?" Kalim yelled.

"He's fine," Jamil said, not looking back.

It didn't take them long to make it to the Headmage's office, hopping off the carpet onto solid ground. They turned around to give the flying carpet a bow. Gotta be polite to ancient artifacts. You'll get cursed if you don't pay them respect. Yuu learned that the hard way after rummaging through the weapons shed at Camp and accidentally dropping the golden, medusa-faced shielf of Aegis (replica edition). They'd been speaking tongues for days after that, and it only stopped because they'd almost annoyed Mr D to death or dolphin-hood.

Jamil leaned down to fix their tie before getting back on the carpet. "Stay safe, Prefect. Need a ride back?"

"…don’t think so," Yuu contemplated. "You go ahead. It'll probably take a while, knowing Crowley. I can just defenestrate myself after we're done."

"That sounds fun!" Kalim cheered.

"Don't throw yourself out the window," Jamil said dryly. "Just call me when you're done. I can pick you up."

"I'll call if it comes to that," Yuu said.

While not completely satisfied, judging from how Jamil's intense eye contact was a not-so-subtle tell that he was contemplating Snake Whisper-ing them into self-preservation, the Vice Housewarden dropped the subject. He picked up Kalim and left on the carpet before a stampede of ghosts rushed through the hall, carrying a sleeping (hopefully not the eternal kind) Silver as they went. He was dressed in his equestrian club uniform and being followed by a menagerie of squirrels, rabbits, birds and other animals like a fairy tale princess. The ghosts seemed to be in deep negotiation with a large deer (a stag?) over the animal's presence and seemed to have struck mutual understanding given how the birds started to help hang up banners and bunnies would carry baskets of materials around like the cutest delivery men.

This school was so weird.

"Knock, knock," They knocked. The door opened with a fwoom as Crowley burst out, snatching their hand and bringing them inside. 

The door closed with a creeaaakkkkk. Ominous. And annoyingly loud.

Just like the headache. 

"Good timing, Prefect!" Crowley cheered, taking the basket. "These will be perfect for the fireworks display! Yes, indeed, it will be the most grand event in Night Raven's history!"

Was that legal? They nodded absentmindedly. "Right, so I can go…"

"Oh, no need for jokes!" He laughed. Damn it. Yuu prayed to their dad, or anyone listening, that Crowley could suddenly develop working ears. Or common sense. Or a sense of responsibility. They'd even settle for ADHD so at least he could forget they were there. "There's much work to do before the big day. Permits and stuff. So much paperwork that I couldn't possibly do by myself!!"

Yuu closed their eyes, nodding along like a good little student. 'Dad. I know you're not listening. But please, get me out of here. I can't do anymore paperwork. It's not even in Ancient Greek! It's just…dyslexic hell. Please, my ADHD might actually kill me. Look at those paper piles!'

Strangely enough, five minutes later, Crowley's hat caught on fire and Sam appeared from the shadows with a fire extinguisher. The two men wrestled as one ran around the room screaming while the other chased, spraying foam that seemed to bubble with life like a demonic ritual and yelling about coupon deals.

They'd been excused.

"Child of Man," Malleus Draconia, aka Tsunotarou, was standing at the periphery of Ramshackle's property. He was a tall, looming figure with dark hair and a darker uniform and glowing neon greens. In Yuu's ADHD-ridden, exhausted brain, he was like a vampire waiting to be invited inside.

"Tsunotarou. How are you holding up?" They came to a stop next to him. The guy looked so awkward, not even the Fae twinge of mischief in his decorum as he manifested full princely-ness in their direction. "Is Lilia going to show up for your parent-teacher interview?"

Malleus allowed himself to smile, fangs peeking through. "Not this time. My grandmother is quite eager to attend after…" The fireflies seemed to glow brighter, scattering in alarm. "The overblot incident. My overblot incident. She was quite adamant as well, despite the elder's protests."

"They're protesting it?" Yuu asked. "Wouldn't it be like super important for relations and stuff for her to show up? Appearances and all?"

Malleus nodded. "They still harbor prejudices against humans. Some even…supported my ideologies in the overblot state."

Yuu shook their head in shared disbelief. The Fae Council or whatever they were called sounded like the Cloven Council of Elders. Aka pernickety old folk who should have retired half a century ago. They were still mad about the Cloven Elders sending their Satyr guide to Canada of all places for the Battle of Manhattan. All because he stood up for Grover! They could have really used his tough love style emotional support when Michael…

"Would you like to come in?" Yuu offered. "I have a good selection of tea between Jade, Vil, Kalim, Riddle…well, just a bunch. I recommend chamomile for a cold night like this."

Malleus's eyes widened, jaw slightly agape. "Are you sure, child of man? I would have thought…"

The poor guy sounded like a puppy preparing to be kicked. They patted his shoulder (something they never would have done without the explicit knowledge that Sebek was having a mini book club session with Deuce on the other side of campus) and channeled their inner sunshine child to beam at him.

"Yep! Come in," They said. "Did you know Vil commissioned new grotesques after Ramshackle was demolished by Styx? He was looking into gargoyles but modern building codes made that difficult on the short time frame and budget."

Malleus' expression shifted. Contrary to popular belief, his poker face sucked. The fae prince was an open book, rejoicing over the prospect of discussing gargoyles and grotesques. And being slightly bewildered and very sulky at the prospect of modern building codes.

At least he could rant about it over tea.

The long awaited Parent's Day was more like catering duty for Yuu. Crowley had put them in charge of making sure arrangements were properly in order for the living (ghosts had a terrible sense of danger, what with being dead). At the very least, they could take refuge in their homeroom with Crewel while talking to the temperamental ghost.

One look from their professor was enough to make any ghost flee.

"Good job, pup," Crewel said, smiling warmly at them. Warm fuzzies settled in their stomach. "I believe your duties are nearly finished. I can do the rest. Why don't you have fun with your friends? Some could use the company, if I'm not mistaken."

"Are you sure?" Yuu asked. "I still have to make sure the food allergies are properly catalogued."

"As I said," Crewel said. "I can finish the rest. Go, shoo! Play with pups your age and make sure your werebeast doesn't set anything on fire!"

Yuu nodded. "Yes sir!"

Night Raven College was abuzz with activity. The sports field was holding the main bulk of chitchats and meet-ups. Apparently, even the elusive fourth year students were in attendance. They could spot a few unfamiliar faces around the field. Leona, in particular, seemed to be getting dragged around by a batch of forth years acting like old friends. He was held back a year, wasn't he? 

Even Cheka was in attendance, being doted on by numerous tough-looking Savanaclaw students who were secretly softies (like Jack) trying to teach him basic Magift. 

It didn't take long to find their trio of troublemakers. All they had to do was follow a tried and true recipe; follow the fire, falling cauldrons or screaming.

Grim had fallen into the chocolate fountain apparently, which had caused Deuce to go into fight-or-flight mode in front of his mom and Cauldron the situation in a half-brained attempt to fix it, nearly wrecking the dessert table. Ace narrowly saved the day with quick thinking and some handy spell work with a nearly identical, taller looking Ace.

That must have been his brother.

"Adeuce! Grim!" Yuu called, running over. They picked up the chocolate-covered Grim and shook him like a snow globe. Yep, the chocolate was really stuck on. "The event started ten minutes ago."

Deuce looked sheepish. "Sorry, Prefect. We were trying to keep an eye on him for you but…"

"I don't know what you were expecting. This could have been way worst," Ace said bluntly. "At least Riddle hasn't seen anything."

They laughed. "Mind introducing me to your family?"

The taller Ace grinned, elbowing his little brother's side. "Yeah, Acey. Introduce us!"

"Stop that!" Ace swatted him away, barely keeping his grin down. "This idiot is Knave, my brother. You know him. Works in an amusement park now?"

"Wow," Knave shook his head. "That's such a lame intro, bro."

"Yeah, exactly what you deserve, bro," Ace shot back mockingly.

"Heh. You sure about that?" Knave snapped his fingers. The chocolate-stained fur in Yuu's arms dissipated into a perfectly clean Grim. "I'd say I'm still the better magician."

"You just had a head start!" Ace stuck his tongue out petulantly. He pulled out a deck of cards from thin air, smiling in challenge. Knave shared the glint in his eyes of a competitive flame that promised sibling pain.

Yep, they were definitely brothers. Their chest tightened with a sort of unease. Envy? Yuu couldn't remember the last time they'd been so cavalier with their siblings. Surprisingly, there wasn’t a lot of banter in a wartime emergency room.

More traumatizing satyr births.

"Hey there," Dylla Spade waved, smiling proudly. Deuce definitely got his smile from her. "Good to see you again, Yuu. How have you been?"

"Could be better," Yuu shrugged.

"Henchmen has been running around like crazy!" Grim said. "That Crow Mage has really got to stop stealing em' away where I can't see! How am I meant to protect them?"

Yuu internally cooed, knowing that acting on their sudden onslaught of cuteness aggression was going to get them claws to the face. Apparently, Dylla felt the same, if the starry-eyed wonder was anything to behold. She sent them a look and they nodded, letting her pat Grim on the head. Their partner grumbled in protest but didn't dare to scratch back with Deuce looking like his delinquent days were making a relapse.

"Are your parents here?" Dylla asked. They froze. "I would love to meet the person who raised such a patient kid who can deal with my son. He can be a bit of a handful." 

"M-mom," Deuce said. "How about we go get some egg sandwiches??"

He tried to telepathically communicate with his eyes. Unfortunately, Deuce had failed the telepathy coursework and thus they received nothing. 

Yuu channeled their inner sunshine. "You should try the hors d'oeuvres! The ghosts worked really hard on those."

"Ghosts?" Dylla mouthed as Deuce dragged her to the food table.

Grim glanced up at them. He blinked incredulously as a drop of water dropped onto his nose. They laughed, squeezing him tightly. Yells of feline protest filled the air.

"You little troublemaker!" They teased, a grin stretching across their face and hurting their cheeks. "I take my eye off you for one second and look what happens!"

"Wasn't my fault!" Grim howled. "That fountain looked so good!"

"Sure, it did. Now, have you seen Riddle? Let's see if we can't save him from his mom."

Mama Rosehearts was a little infamous at this point. At least to Heartslabyul, who had endured the brunt of Riddle's trauma first hand at that faithful Unbirthday Party and ensuing challenge. They were sure half the dorm was playing card soldier and distracting Madame Rosehearts with starry-eyed (completely fake) praise and asking about her profession while not-so-subtly pushing Riddle to stand with Trey's family. Maybe they thought the bakers' sweetness would rub off on their steadfastly hot-headed housewarden. Or maybe they were vying for being Vice once Trey left.

Either way, Yuu wasn't expecting to be stopped in their tracks by an arrow.

It landed just at their foot, facing westward. 

Rook Hunt waved innocently from his tree branch perch with a small, blonde girl clinging to his side. She was wearing his hat. They rarely ever saw him without a hat. This was weird. Underneath the tree was a tall, well-dressed gent and lady, who were definitely hiding knives in their pockets. Yuu could recognise the faint outline, even from a distance. A hunting bow hung loosely over the woman's shoulder as if it were a particularly fancy purse.

That was, without a doubt, the Hunt Family.

"Henchmen, why aren't we going in the opposite direction of that guy?" Grim grumbled.

"Be nice," Yuu said. "Rook's a friend."

Meeting the Hunt Family was interesting.

"You must be Yuu!" Papa Hunt said, patting them on the back. "We've heard a lot about you."

"All good things," Mama Hunt added, eyeing them up and down.

Mama and Papa Hunt appraising their archery skills right off the bat was an experience. Apparently, the family had requested for a small shooting range for the day of the event. For the kids to show off their magical prowess to the parents (an excellent, reputation boosting stunt for Crowley) and also for the Hunt Family to corral unsuspecting strangers into archery competitions. Like themselves. 

"Rook's told us so much about you! He must trust you a lot if he showed you the teleporters," Mama Hunt handed them the bow, which was finely weighted to their shorter stature, and they did not want to think about the implications of that. Especially when Rook, still with his baby sister (cousin?) in the tree, winked.

What in Olympus' name was that supposed to mean?

'Lord Apollo,' They prayed, notching the arrow. 'With my luck, I'm going to accidentally kill someone with this shot. Please don't make that happen. Crowley's going to pretend he doesn't have lawyer money if I do which we both know is wrong because NRC must have the best legal PR department ever to avoid getting sued for all the child endangerment claims.'

Someone was listening. The arrow travelled far across the field and hit dead center of the target. Not a human skull, thankfully. But the hay bale from the stables with paper targets attached.

They heard clapping. A small gallery of their friends was watching nearby. The Leech twins (or Tweels) with their equally scary looking parents who did not defeat any of the fish mafia allegations with their shark-toothed grins and bedazzled suits and sparkling jewelry and was that a dagger in Madame Leech's skirt strap. Somehow, their grandma was the scariest among them, with her sharp eyes looking like they'd been the arrow about to gut out Yuu's soul. Azul stood nearby with his mother; a plump, polite looking woman wearing an elegant black dress and silver hair tied in a bun. She looked like she was calculating their monetary value as restaurant entertainment. Like mother, like son.  Ruggie was by the food table with someone who was no doubt his grandma and a gang of underweight hyena children. They were being fed in equal amounts by Trey's parents, who couldn't help but indulge the sly but starving children with a seemingly endless platter of treats.

Everyone looked happy.

Yuu couldn’t help but feel jealous.

They wanted their dad.

Suddenly, their ears picked out something other than clapping. It was similar, certainly, with a rhythm that marched closer with every breath. Yuu's neck craned around to the sound, catching sunbeams right in the face.

Gasps reverberated around the crowd. Grim jumped on their shoulder. "Henchmen! What's going on?"

"I don't know," Yuu pushed through the gawking bystanders. There was a golden light pass the bodies, with the sound of horses neighing and crunching down on food. Did someone spill glitter in the stables or something? Why were there horses?

They made their way to the front, where a pure gold chariot stood in the clearing. A tall man, dressed in an almost-gaudy golden suit, polished up his attire and brushed out his equally golden curls. He was well-built, certainly, with a bronze tan and eyes as gold as his chariot that seemed to glow.

"This is awkward!" Their stomach dropped. What, in Hades' name (and they do not say that lightly), was going on? "I usually get the landing right. Pyrois, can you find the parking lot? Aeos, you're not getting more gilded hay this trip. Aethon, make sure your brother behaves and Phlegon…keep doing what you're doing."

The horses neighed in return before turning around, still harnessed with a golden chariot. And running on air as if they were Santa's reindeer. The man turned around the address the crowd with a sunshine grin.

"Hi there!" Apollo beamed.

Yuu could only think. 'Universe, you sent the wrong dad.'

Chapter Text

'I want my dad.'

Apollo knew Euanthe (or Yuu, as they preferred) hadn't been calling out to him. Not intentionally, anyways. Proud as he was, even the great Phoebus Apollo, Slayer of Python and a hundred other titles, could admit that he'd never been the best parent for any of his kids. Not the worst either — he didn't make a habit of eating his kids or zapping them with lightning bolts. 

But he never made a conscious effort to know his children other than the occasional obligatory blessing and answering of prayers. Most of them were gone within a few decades, just a blink for a god. It's really annoying when one of their old songs gets stuck in your head but you can't quite remember the lyrics so you go to check but, unlucky you, they're dead!

Still, on some level, Apollo loved all his children. It had just taken falling into a dumpster and being in a static flesh sack for six months to realize it.

Regret slapped him in the face counting the number of kids that he'd never be able to know. In retrospect, he'd have given anything to go back to the Apollo of a year ago and slap him in the face, consequences of temporal interference be damned. 

No, wait, focus. He had a crowd and as they say, come hell or high water or the devastating realisation of your douchebaggery, the show must go on.

"Good weather we're having," He waved to the onlooking crowd. Yuu had pushed to the front, a grey cat on their shoulders with flames in its ears and sharp blue eyes. "I hope I'm not late!"

Outside, he was his typical godly self. Inside, Apollo was screaming.

This world didn't have Mist. That all-encompassing veil separating mystical and mundane. The mortals had seen his golden chariot and it took a conscious, split-second effort to hide the true divinity of his ride had saved the party from turning into a pile of ashes. Incinerating the parents and student population of the school (even if it was bizarrely hazardous and nearly killed his kid numerous times) was not on the agenda. It could have started a war between dimensions or, even worst, Yuu would have been mad at him.

He snapped his fingers and everyone went back to chatting away, as if nothing ever happened. Yuu looked like they couldn't tell whether he was a hallucination, jaw agape as they stared openly. 

Apollo looked around the field of chatting parents and students, all sorts of folk from little old ladies to the mafia. He glanced down at his suit woven from literal gold threads. It was probably overkill. He'd changed into the first thing he could think of when Apollo thought of respectable formal-ish attire. This was better for a godly event like whenever Zeus' dress code was enforced. (Which, for the record, Poseidon never adhered to. The old man liked his Hawaiian shirts too much, to everyone's misery.) 

Snapping his fingers again, the suit fell away in specks of golden dust. In its place, Apollo wore an orange Camp Half-Blood shirt with a spring green button-up jacket and khaki shorts. It was the type of thing his son, Will Solace, would have worn so Apollo figured it was acceptable mortal attire for your average, totally-not-a-god parent. Laurel vines settled on his hair, tying away the golden curls into a short ponytail.

"Lord Apollo?" Yuu's voice wavered, uncertain.

They had Elio Celeste's eyes, blue as the sky, and they most definitely inherited his freckles, which dotted their skin wildly like stars on a clear, not-contaminated-by-light-pollution night. Apollo almost melted at the cuteness; his kids were adorable. Aphrodite could take the pretty ones, Apollo had all the cute genes in the family.

He ignored the fact that gods did not, in fact, have genes.

Apollo channeled his Sun Godliness and outstretched his hands, wanting to pull them into the biggest bear hug and never let go. He held himself back, trying to look cool with his hands on his hips in a casual but friendly pose that he desperately hoped came off as approachable. "You can just call me Apollo. Or dad works too!"

He shot them finger guns. Arty, please shoot him.

Yuu stared like he'd grown a second head. Which, thank gods, he didn't actually do out of sheer stress. That would have been embarrassing.

"You don't have to," He added quickly. "But I wouldn't mind!"

"Dad," They said hesitantly. They waited a moment, eyes tracking him as if waiting for…something. A reaction, an attack? Apollo felt the urge to make a duplicate just so he could strangle himself. Because that was exactly how he looked at Zeus. When nothing happened, Yuu continued talking. "Dad, what are you doing here? How are you here even? And was that the Mist? Can you use Mist here?"

"I heard your prayer so I figured I'd show up," Apollo played it off casual-like. He's a cool dad. Totally. "And that wasn't Mist. Just some godly persuasion."

He made jazz hands (no, seriously, Arty, just shoot him) and smiled brightly, trying to be warm and assertive and not the internal wreck screaming inside.

Yuu was injured. They were wearing a long-sleeves button-up with a sloppy, striped tie and oversized uniform pants which covered most of everything. But Apollo was the God of Medicine and Plague and some flimsy fabric was hardly going to stop him from noticing.

His kid was covered in old wounds. A ring of thorn marks around their neck like collar, unnatural cracks of dehydration scarring their left arm, octopus suckers marked across their torso,  snake bites on their wrist, residual poison in their lungs (oh goodie, something he could fix), lichtenburg figures on their hands which should have faded ages ago unless it was something of the godly level in which case who let his kid handle godly weapons?? That was the exact kind of thing that killed heroes.

He seriously needed to set up an appointment with Themis soon.

"Henchmen, who's this?" The cat on their shoulder, Grim, asked. It gave him a flat-eared, narrowed-eyes glare, fur raised and looking ready to pounce. The creature was about two feet tall and hardly intimidating, but it puffed up like a baby penguin, and Apollo could definitely see why half of Yuu's prayers had been incessant fangirling.

"This is Apollo," Yuu said. "My…dad. Dad, this is my partner and best friend, Grim. He can be a bit snarky but please don't smite him or anything."

Grim pawed at their cheek, sulking like Arty whenever Apollo would win their impromptu 'who can kill the most monsters with a single arrow' contests. "What'd you mean by that, henchman!? The Great Grim can easily take this guy!"

"You're free to try," Apollo said, showing off his divine aura like a solar flare. The cat-like creature hissed and backed away. This was absolutely not payback for that first heart attack of a prayer. Not at all. "Oh, is that one of your friends?" 

He glanced over at the blonde bowman (the callouses beneath those white gloves told quite a bit) who had hopped down from his perch and joined them nearby. The student had a straight-cut blonde bob, feathered wide-brimmed hat and a purple vest under his blazer. Rook Hunt, described by Yuu as 'eccentric', was everything he'd heard and more. In another world, Apollo had no doubt the boy would be clear sighted, given how he hadn't even flinched when Apollo had used his godly persuasion and kept his gaze trained on the sun god. 

The young man discreetly eyed Apollo like an archer would prey, tipping his hat in a bow that was filled with enough melodramatic flourish to rival Hollywood actors. "Bonjour, Monsieur. Might you be an acquaintance of our dear Prefect?"

He had taken a position in front of Yuu, as if shielding them from Apollo.

"You could say that," Apollo replied, nonchalant. He glanced over at Yuu, wanting them to have the initiative. If they didn't want to associate with him…well, he'd understand it. Even with his cursory knowledge of the situation, Apollo knew there were plenty of moments that he could have saved them from a world of pain.

It killed him that he couldn't.

"Rook, this is my dad," Yuu said. Apollo's heart fluttered at the moniker.

Their friend blinked incredulously, looking between them if he couldn't believe his ears. He didn't move from his protective stance. Then, he grinned, hooking his arm around Yuu's shoulder in a show of casual affection. "Tres bien, prefect! I had no idea your father would be available for this glorious day!"

"I didn't either," Yuu said, using the older boy as leverage to hide from Apollo's gaze. He tried not to take it personally. They were confused and scared, that's all. They didn't hate him yet. Probably.

He wondered if a magical, Shakespeare-talking arrow for their birthday would make things better or worst.

"Well, I simply must take advantage of l'opportunité to become acquainted with such a distinct individual," Rook cheered. His gaze pierced into Apollo, making him feel like the boy could make out every stray hair and imperfection in his perfectly sculpted, godly body.

Gods of Olympus, he was not going to be scared of a teenager.

"Wonderful! I'd be delighted to meet all your friends here, Yuu," Apollo said. Even if some of them had a bad habit of attempted murder, scamming or brainwashing (or some unholy combination of the three). Yes, Apollo was very much looking forward to it. "Their parents too. That is what the occasion calls for!"

Rook Hunt took that as incentive to usher him over to a secluded area near the archery range, happily chatting about music and films starring his favourite actors. Apollo learned more about Neige LeBlanche and Vil Schoenheit from that conversation than he ever needed. The sun god kept up his sunshine persona while keeping an eye on Yuu, who had slipped away, with a nearby raven. His sacred animals happening to be the mascot of this otherworldly Hogwarts-parody was either a blessing or a page straight from the cosmic joke book.

Diana Hunt, Rook's mother, reminded him of Arty with her no-nonsense attitude and competitive streak. She took one glance at his hands and grinned, razor sharp and vicious. "You're an archer, Mr. Celeste?"

"Just call me Apollo, please," He said. The woman had the same canary green eyes as her son, but her blonde hair was curled instead of straightened in a bob, and was tied up with rather sharp hair pins that could definitely be used to stab someone's eye out. "And yes, you could say that. Though I tend to dabble in other things as well."

Her husband, Arthur, nodded appreciatively. He was a bit shorter than his wife, with salt-and-pepper hair and a dashingly roguish face that had wisps of stubble like silver foxes on TV. "I'd be delighted to see how you compare to my dearest Diana in the range one day. But today is about the children! Rook has told me quite a bit about Yuu!"

"Good things," Diana added.

"That's nice," Apollo said, unsure what to add. He settled for materialising a drink of the finest grape juice (even with godly constitution he was not going to risk it. Not if his kid was on the line). High celebrity tip; always have a drink in hand for conversations. "They're quite the charmer, aren't they? Though, they inherited a lot more from Elio than myself."

"Elio?" Diana smiled, eyeing his drink like a hawk. "Is that their mother?"

"No, their father," Apollo sipped more grape juice.

"But…aren't you their father?"

"Yes, yes I am," Apollo said.

Diana stared for a second, before shrugging and moving on like no one's business. The woman continued the conversation, moving on to grades and club activities and all the updates that Rook had sent her over the year. Apollo was happy to share the same. Prayers were basically the same as getting letters from your kid, right?

At some point, Apollo had received the message from her continued pointed glances to his glass and snapped his fingers, letting her enjoy her own cup of grape juice.

Arthur was more like a grizzly bear to Diana's snake-in-the-grass attitude. The two had done the 'telepathically communicated with their eyes' thing when their son had ushered him over. They were distracting him and Apollo was more than happy to play into it if it meant his kid felt safer.

On the fields periphery, Yuu was sitting on a bench with their feline companion, only occasionally glancing in his direction. The crows (and himself) couldn't make out what they were saying as some friends of theirs approached. Unfortunately (or fortunately, Apollo wanted to make sure they were safe, not become their stalker), there was only so much godliness he could manifest in this world. Lest he attract some…unwanted attention.

After a while of chatting and gossiping with Arthur and Diana, a woman with unnaturally bright wine-red hair came to greet them whilst wearing the most hideous scowl on her sharp face. Everything about her was sharp actually. Sharp grey eyes, not unlike Athena's, sharply slicked bun with not a single loose strand and sharp attire; a rose-coloured blazer over a white button-up and equally red pencil skirt. Her stilettos looked sharp enough to kill a man.

And she was looking straight at him. 

"You! You must be the Ramshackle Prefect's parent or so I hear," The woman pointed a perfectly clipped nail at him. No nail paint, filed down and polished with sanitiser.  "Your child, Yuu, has been a horrible influence on my son!"

Her voice was gratingly shrill and she held enough defiance in her stance to almost rival Percy facing off against the gods (almost, because nothing could beat the sixteen-year-old who turned down immortality for child support of all things). Apollo tried to focus on that rather than the anger burning in his gut as she insulted his child.

Maybe he should turn her into a rose. No, that was too nice. A dolphin, maybe. Though that felt like inviting a copyright suit from Dionysus. His half-brother may be the God of Wine and Madness but by Olympus were his court-appearances…theatrical, for lack of a better word. (Dionysus claimed it was natural as he was the patron god of theatre, which was also ridiculous since Apollo was patron of the arts which should have included theatre and it had been an ongoing, millennia-old drama with no clear winners. The consensus was that Themis would throw all of them out of the courtroom if they didn't stop arguing.)

"Mother!" A young man ran up behind her, cheeks red from exhaustion. He had equally red hair and cloudy grey eyes that swirled with uncertainty. "What are you doing?"

"Not now, Riddle, dear," Her voice was sickeningly sweet addressing her child. Apollo shuddered. The woman reminded him of Hera and not on a good day. "The adults are talking."

She levelled Apollo a sharp glare.

He returned it.

Yuu had been contemplating their life choices leading up to that moment with Grim on their lap as the last anchor to sanity. Their partner purred like a lawnmower as they squished his flabby, furry body like play-doh. It was like grasping at really fluffy slime which was doing nothing to discourage the idea that cats were, in fact, a liquid.

The subject of their crisis was chatting animatedly across the field. His aura of sunshine was almost tangible as the sunlight seemed to grow ever brighter. A murder of crows settled ominously in the trees above them which was probably meant they were going to be killed in their sleep or something equally ominous. 

Like most demigods, Yuu's relationship with their godly parent was nonexistent. The only time they'd seen him was for a one-off excursion to Mount Olympus during the Winter Solstice while they were ten-years-old. Not even a 'hey kiddos how's life been? Glad to see you're still alive!' was exchanged. He hadn't even checked in during the battle of the Labyrinth when Lee had died and hadn't mentioned a thing about Michael or the others that went MIA after the Manhattan debacle. He never even paid child support despite having access to nigh infinite money because he's a god. (And don't bring up the economic implications of making money from thin air; child support payments would not have tanked capitalism.)

So him just showing up casually, grand chariot reveal and all, snapping his fingers and getting whatever he wanted right at his divine fingertips…It was frustrating. Yuu wasn't an ungrateful child but it was hard to feel grateful for someone who'd never been there.

Their good buddy Jack Howl, taking advantage of their presence to escape his rowdy younger siblings using him as a jungle gym, came over with a box of pear juice. Having similar thoughts, Epel abandoned his meemaw Marja who was distracting Vil and his dad, Eric, with no doubt riveting tales of Epel's childhood. They could see her whipping out the childhood photo album from their little corner. He shoved Jack out of the way to hand over a box of premium-graded Harveston apple juice. It wasn't a particularly hard shove considering Epel was more than a few heads shorter than Jack, who was also built like a truck. The two had a momentary glaring contest, holding their juice boxes like battle axes.

Ortho cut between the stand-off, a glass of water in hand. "My scans how that your hydration levels have decreased, Prefect. It's very important to make sure to maintain proper levels when the sun is especially bright today."

Yuu stole a glance at their dad, chatting it up with Rook's parents, before taking the glass and downing it like a shot. "Thank you, Ortho."

"What's got you in a mood, Prefect?" Epel asked, before smiling wickedly. "We'll beat em' up for you."

Jack nodded, showing that he, too, was prepared to beat up the hypothetical cause of their gloom. "If you're willing to share, we'll do our best to help with your problem."

"Thanks guys," They ignored the implied violence of the offer, instead stealing the juice boxes. They stabbed the straws into both of them and drank from the two straws simultaneously. The barely hidden disgust on their friend's faces were 100% worth the psychopathy. "I think I'm just in shock."

The three shared a confused look but Yuu didn't feel like elaborating. Where would they even start? 'Hey, so my dad appeared in the courtyard a few minutes ago and brainwashed you to ignore his giant golden chariot with godly powers. Because yes, he's a god and that makes me half-god. No, I'm not immortal. It's actually quite a miracle I made it this far, I thought I'd die at twelve or something. Why didn't I say anything? It  never came up.'

This could always be worst, Yuu reasoned. Their absentee father that had never even glanced at their direction suddenly appearing in a bout of godly might? At least it wasn't hellhounds raining from the sky.

No, they'd have preferred the hellhounds. Mrs O'Leary was such a delight.

"My henchman is in a bad mood cause of that guy!" Grim pointed his furry little paw at their dad chatting with Rook's parents and Mama Rosehearts who was looking increasingly red-in-the-face and about to explode like a tea kettle. 

Apollo looked to be his usual sunny self, glowing with power even from a distance. He pretended to be human with his jacket and khakis and flip-flops but gods aways had a weakness in their disguise — they were always a little too perfect. No blemish or acne, Pinterest-worthy hair style, sculpted features right off a Greco-Roman sculpture and clothes slightly too neat and perfect.  

 Epel cracked his knuckles. "Who's that?"

"My dad."

"Your what?!"

Everyone shouted their own version of surprised. Even Ortho, usually one to roll with the punches, looked like he had a million questions. Yuu nodded miserably. They already had one headache to deal with and whatever quest that Apollo wanted from them —  because why else would he be here? —  could wait until Yuu had a full eight-recommended-hours of sleep (very rare nowadays).

"Wait, I'm confused," Jack said. "You're from another world. Like, not just a plane ride away or anything."

"Yep."

 "Did Crowley find a way to bring him here?"

Yuu snorted. "You think the Crow would ever do something that nice?"

Jack, ever the teacher's pet, opened his mouth to protest before closing it knowing that they were 100% on the mark. The fact that no, Crowley would definitely not be competent or 'kind' enough to pull something like that off. Unless he was secretly a mastermind in which case they were still going to punch him right in the beak. One day. It was numero uno on their bucket list.

Every demigod had one —  at least twenty things to do before they inevitably died climbing the lava wall or eaten by monsters or ticking off the wrong god. (There was a betting pool back at Camp for how Percy would die. Annabeth was the only one to put down 'never and/or old age'. They were all too scared to argue.)

"So, he just…showed up?" Epel looked between at Apollo and Yuu like his brain was frying, trying to put together the puzzle pieces.

Ortho made calculated beep-boops and mechanical noises. His golden eyes reflected strings of code. "Prefect, would you be willing to share some information about him? He could be an imposter for all we know!"

"Yeah, someone claiming to be your dad just appearing like that after so long? Feels fishy," Jack nodded.
 

"Totally sus," Epel said.

"He's just trying to take my henchman away!" Grim agreed.

Yuu sighed, stroking Grim's fur as they collected their thoughts. They'd never really told anyone about their past because a) no one ever asked and b) there were more pressing issues to deal with back then. Plus, their daddy issues and PTSD should have been talked through in a therapist's office and not with a group of teenage boys all too eager to sniff out weaknesses like a Satyr for enchiladas. Unfortunately, said therapist quit half-way through the year and Crowley thought outsourcing the service on account of one penniless, no-name student was outside budget considerations.

"His name is Apollo," Yuu said. 

"Is he named after the sun god?" Ortho asked innocently.

"Not named after, no."

Their friends processed the information. Ortho seemed to get it first, looking starry-eyed and ready to launch into a flurry of questions. Then, it clicked into place like the final piece of the puzzle.

"Yer' dad's a GOD!?" Epel gaped, looking like he was waiting for them to say 'don't be ridiculous'. He'd be waiting a while.

"There's no way, right?" Jack reasoned. "The gods haven’t been around for nearly two hundred years."

Huh. Only two centuries? They'd had thought the Age of Gods would have been millennia ago or something. Maybe that was why Twisted Wonderland was so magically ingrained, with beastmen and merfolk and humans and magic abound like common knowledge. Then again, it could resulted from the nonexistence of the Mist, which usually obscured the peculiar from mortal eyes.

 "That actually explains so much!" Ortho cheered. "When Idia and I sampled your blood—"

"You did what now."

"—we could only identify 50% of the sequencing, despite Styx' advanced methodology," Ortho looked at them like a particularly interesting science project. They could imagine him pulling out a scalpel feature from his artificial arm and tearing into their flesh like unwrapping a present. "At first, it was speculated to be related to the space-time anomaly which was your arrival in Twisted Wonderland. However, it's probable that the system couldn't recognise your genetic data based on available evidence as information about the gods is highly scarce and most of it is confidential under Olympus Corp."

"I'm struggling to process all that…" Jack muttered, embarrassed. "But basically there's something in their DNA right?"

"Gods don't have DNA," Yuu confirmed. 

"Yer' really related to a god?!" Epel demanded. He coughed, sending a nervous glance at Vil to see if the actor's sixth sense caught on to his slip of the accent. "But seriously, Yuu, that's insane!"

"What's a god?" Grim asked. "Can I eat it?"

"No, Grim, you cannot eat a god. And don't even try," Yuu said. "I actually didn't know he was a god in your world. I'd figured there'd be different pantheons but with Styx and stuff, and this whole 'Age of Gods' deal, probably should have figured that out…"

They'd always been slow in class. ADHD and dyslexia didn't make for the best scholarly combination, unless you were an Athena kid (but that was like having a genetic cheat sheet). History was a nightmare for their dyslexic brain with all the readings and texts. At least Professor Trein had been kind enough to accommodate for them, knowing their needs, which was more than they could say about most of their teachers. Partially because half of which had been monsters in disguise. It was a weirdly popular profession for the demigod-eating monster demographic.

"Well, Gods do tend to defy human logic," Jack said. "So he could be the same guy."

"Actually," Ortho said. "That possibility is rather low. He doesn't match any depictions of the Apollo in the O.L.Y.M.P.U.S records, which have compiled all poems, epics and stories involving the pantheon since Styx' formation during the Age of Gods."

"But Gods can take any shape they want," Yuu, very reasonably, pointed out.

For some reason, the others looked dumbfounded by their remark.

"I guess that makes sense," Jack said slowly. "That kind of magic is highly regulated though."

"They're gods."

Jack sheepishly nodded. "Guess I never thought of it like that. Never heard about the gods shapeshifting. I guess there is this one story about the son of Zeus, Hercules—"

"Herakles," They corrected automatically. Hercules was the roman name.

"No, I'm pretty sure it's Hercules," Epel said. "Must be one of those differences, huh?"

"Guess so," Jack said. Yuu didn't agree nor did they disagree. It felt completely illogical for Herakles (or Hercules or whatever) to be Roman when everyone else was using their Greek names. Like they were purposefully excluding him from the club. "Well, apparently he changed completely when he shook the hand of the Underworld King and lost his powers. That's really the only story I've heard about changing their appearance and I don't think it matches."

"Yeah, it's more like when Vil got old in Styx," Epel said. The temperate lowered as he visible froze, like a harpy caught stealing from Mr D's forbidden wine collection (only forbidden for Mr D). Luckily, Epel wasn’t turned into a dolphin but he craned his neck to where Vil was giving him the evil eye, as if knowing he'd accidentally let the o-word slip. Epel laughed nervously, turning away and hiding his terrified face.

 Yuu patted his back comfortingly and signaled for Vil to give them a minute. 

"There's really nothing about shapeshifting?" Yuu asked.

Even Ortho shook his head. "Nothing in my catalogue indicates as such."

"Weird. Then what about the myths where Zeus turns into a golden shower or a goose to sleep with women?"

"He what??"

Epel gagged. "A goose?? How does that even work!?"

Yuu sensed delicious chaos. Like a fish on a hook, they were reeled. "Don't ask me. There's a bunch of artwork and stuff about it though. Renaissance artists really liked the imagery of naked ladies and Goose Zeus."

 "What about the gold shower?" Jack looked as if he'd rather discuss anything but Goose Zeus. Which is fair. His cheeks were tinted red, with his tail swooshing nervously and his eyes unfocused like he was trying desperately not to think about Zeus as a Goose and his Goose-y antics with women. "How would that ever seduce a woman?"

"It didn't," Yuu said. "He did it anyways."

"But- but that’s…" Ortho's eyes swam with question marks as the robot processed the input.

They covered Grim's ears, ignoring the muted protests of their partner struggling to get free. He relented, eventually, and grumbled the bargain of tuna cans that they'd make sure to complete later.

"Rape? Yeah," Yuu shrugged. They could understand the horrified expressions that struck their friend's faces. But it was also hilarious seeing them deal with otherworldly culture shock every now and then.

With Greek Myths, it was just another day. Their papa had said, in explicit terms, that anyone who tried that with them could be gutted and thrown into the deepest stretches of Tartarus. Chiron, Annabeth and the older campers had made consent workshops mandatory since the Second Titan War which was sorely needed considering the attitude some of the more arrogant kids seemed to have. Those types of incidents were lower in modern demigods, according to Chiron, maybe due to more widespread knowledge, knowing that any self-respecting camper would resort to stabbing and mauling at dangerously impulsive rates (dessert privileges be damned) or the lack of free time with two wars at their doorstep. Plus, that kind of old thinking was beaten out of them in seconds by the angry nymphs running the workshop who had more than their fair deal of less-than-gentlemanly suitors.

"You guys must have the most boring myths if gods aren't running around sleeping with mortals as geese," Yuu concluded. "How'd 'Hercules' come to be if Zeus didn't shapeshift into Alcmene's missing husband and trick her into sleeping with him?"

"He did what," Jack wheezed, the air was leaving his lungs along with his faith in the nonexistent morality of the gods.

"Alcmene?" Ortho asked. "Hercules is the son of Zeus and Hera. Oh, but I think Alcmene was the name of a farmer who adopted Hercules with her husband, Amphitryon, after he fell from Olympus."

"Wow. Princess to farmer is certainly a downgrade. But good for Herc, not being an out-of-wedlock baby." Lucky bastard. Or well, he wouldn't be a bastard in this world, would he? Apparently, Twisted Wonderland Zeus wasn't a cheater who slept with anything possessing legs (his most defining character trait). "That probably means Hera didn't curse him with madness to kill his wife and two children, right?"

"Are ya' messin' with us?" Epel asked.

"The biometrics indicate that they are being truthful," Ortho said. If an android could look sick, Ortho was nailing it. "My current hypothesis is that the pantheons of our world reflect what is true in our societies, highlighting different beliefs and values. I believe you've mentioned that the gods are a less prominent force in your world which could mean that they are more fluid in the societal zeitgeist whereas our pantheon has been well-defined due to only recent lack of interference since the end of the Age of Gods."

"That sounds lame," Grim muttered.

"Essentially," Ortho continued, glaring petulantly at the disgruntled cat on their lap. "The differences in the myths of our worlds reflect the different values of the societies."

"That makes sense," Yuu said.

"How are ya' so casual about this?" Epel, still green in the face, levelled them a look. "If that's the case then, no offence Prefect, but your world is seriously messed up."

Yuu laughed with a touch of madness. "We haven't even gotten to the fun part!"

"A doctor?" Apollo laughed at Mrs Rosehearts' increasingly red face. The woman definitely had a circulation issue that he was not inclined to fix. "Oh, you're serious. Madame, you have the most egregious misunderstandings of human development that I have ever encountered in all my time, and believe me, that is a long time."

She opened her mouth to spit out a retort, probably cursing his name to the high heavens or something, but Apollo snapped his fingers. Her protests came out as bubbles. He didn't want to entertain her overly shrill voice or justifications. As much as he loved giving voice to the voiceless with poems and epics (see Euripides for some real masterclass work on that), Mrs Rosehearts had lost the privilege when she insulted his kid.

Was that petty? Probably. Was it bad that he completely ignored her credentials as a doctor by making jabs by calling her Mrs, thereby invalidating whatever degree she'd probably slaved over to earn? Again, probably. Did Apollo care? Hah!

"You said you specialised in Mages?" Apollo asked innocently. "It shows. Given how thoroughly unadjusted your son appears to be—no offence, Riddle, you seem quite lovely—both socially and mentally, as well as his stunted physical growth that was no doubt hindered by your strict rules."

"Oh, this is fun," Diana whispered to her husband in the back.

"I've never seen her so cowed before," Arthur said. "Or murderous."

"Not to mention," Apollo turned his attention to Riddle, who looked torn between running away and glaring back, gripping the magic pen in hand. Fight or flight response, not great. But doable. "How thoroughly uncourteous of you to barge in like that, insulting my child." Apollo's aura flared with sparks of divinity. He tamped it down. No need for the fireworks. He was saving that for a very special somebody. "While being completely flippant of your own. Though I hope there's never a next time for you, if you want to raise a child to be healthy and successful, I suggest hiring someone who specialises in child development rather than relying on your own, quite biased knowledge."

Mrs Rosehearts glared, affronted. It was like everything he'd said was folded into a paper plane that flew completely over her head. "You may be a talented mage—" Apollo wanted to cackle at that. "—but you're being completely obtuse about this situation. What would someone like you even know about medicine?"

Oh, the irony was beautiful.

Apollo sipped his grape juice. "More than you."

"Why you—"

"Mother!" Riddle's voice cut sternly. "It is almost time for our appointment."

Mrs Rosehearts nodded stiffly, fixing up her hair and straightening her jacket. She sent him one last glare, looking like she'd want nothing more than to curse his name but was stopping herself because she cared for things like image and propriety and it was almost laughable watching her harrumph as she turned and walked away. Apollo most certainly did not secretly curse her to fall over her stilettos or speak in couplets for the interview. That would be rude. Take that as his testimony if Madame Rosehearts tried to make some outlandish claims like such.

 Riddle followed at her heels, casting a suspicious look back at Apollo, who continued to enjoy his grape juice. His eyes trailed to Yuu, talking to their friends, and back to Apollo. For some reason, the boy just looked exasperated.

"Didn't think you had that in you," Diana said. "I've never seen Dr Rosehearts so flustered before. Are you a doctor by trade? That was quite a passionate debate."
 

"You could say that. Though I prefer such things as poetry and song," Apollo downed his grape juice. The glass magically refilled itself. "My son, Asclepius, is definitely the doctor of the family though. He runs a quaint clinic and sees a ton of patients with all kinds of diseases."

"Is that so? You must be proud," Diana said.

Apollo smiled. "I'm proud of all my kids."

 It didn't take long for Apollo to become distracted by his crows spotting a man with a dalmatian-spotted fur coat approaching his kid. Real Apollo glanced over, ignoring the knowing looks that Diana and Arthur exchanged, as they made themselves obscure. The two were certainly 'watch the show with popcorn' folk, like their son who had been dragged onto the archery field with his younger sister and yet still Apollo could feel the boy's eyes on him whenever his back was turned.

No, he was not scared of a child. He was just…unsettled. That's all.

Dalmatian-coat man was finely dressed in white, red and blacks on his fine suit, vest coat dress pants and shoes. He looked ready to walk the red carpet rather than attend a Parent-Teacher conference. There was a whip at his side, clipped to his belt hidden under the coat. Apollo didn't want to know why but he was also very curious as to why.

"You must be Yuu's father," The man said, tone skeptical and pointed like the sharp end of his whip. "I heard the news of your arrival from the ghosts."

Uh. What?

"You weren't listed on our official records," The man continued. "So I apologise for being unable to contact you. Your allocated time can start soon — which was meant to be my break, damn you Crowley — before I begin meeting with the second year students. My name is Divus Crewel, Yuu's homeroom teacher. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr Celeste."

Yuu flinched.

"My name is Apollo," He said. "Mr Celeste is my—" Husband? Ex-lover? What was the normal way to say one-night stand without making it weird?? "Partner."

"I see," Crewel said. He looked to the side where Yuu was tugging at his coat sleeves nervously and Apollo tried to ignore the arrow of jealousy that shot him through the heart. "Allow me to escort you to the meeting rooms. Or would you prefer a guided tour while we discuss Yuu's progress in school?"

Apollo glanced over at his kid. "Any preference?"

"No," Yuu said. Shoot. Apollo wasn't sure what to choose now. Being in a closed off space would probably make them uncomfortable but he didn't know if the other option would be equally awkward or— "If you want to see Night Raven College more, than the guided tour will probably be best." 

"Then that’s decided," Apollo said, grinning with the light of the sun. Literally. He had to tone it down as Yuu tore their gaze away, hiding it in the other man's coat. "Lead the way, Mr Crewel."

Night Raven College was a lot bigger than Apollo had originally thought. It was no Olympus, but the campus was situated on a large mountainside with the main build, a gothic castle with multiple spires, standing near the mountain top in front of the seaside cliffs. Crewel had taken them on a scenic tour pass the main road across from the field and across the hall of mirrors and to the Botanical Gardens. The sight of the glass building in the distance had made Yuu glow with joy. Which meant Apollo obviously needed to see it.

The interior of the sub-tropical zone, as Crewel had called it, was a paved road with lots of sunlight streaming through the panels of the glass domed ceiling. All sorts of colourful flowers were arranged along the path; in hanging pots, elegant vases, along the fences and pathways and hanging in bushels from the trees. There was a small, artificial rivers snaking through the gardens, with bridges connecting the paved pathways.

He could certainly see why Yuu enjoyed the place. It had a calming scent, a mix of petrichor and florals, along with ample sunlight and no worry about wind or rain. It must have reminded them of Camp Half-Blood.

"Academically, Yuu isn't quite as strong as some of the other pups when it comes to history or literature," Crewel explained. The professor had an eccentric speech pattern that included a lot of dog terminology and Apollo could appreciate the dedication to aesthetics if nothing else. "But they're a quick study in potionology and musicology. As for linguistics, well, they can understand dolphins which, for the record, was not part of the curriculum but a commendable achievement nonetheless."

Apollo grinned. "I wouldn't expect anything less!"

Beside him, Yuu withered and he couldn't for the life of him figure out where he was messing up. Words of affirmation should have been his strong suit but his God of Poetry status was not being very useful. Apollo wondered if there was a way to swap it out for God of Good Parenting or God of Knowing How To Get Your Kids To Like You. If there was a god like that, it was probably Sally Jackson.

"Yes, well, aside from classes Yuu has had some struggles in socialising with students," Crewel said. "They've mostly adjusted over the course of the year, however, some hostilities have lingered." 

"Oh?" Apollo's brow furrowed. Did he need to shoot someone? He had left his bow in the chariot but he could summon it back anytime.

"Addtionally, there have been quite a few incidents this past year concerning the Overblots; typically a rare condition manifesting from high levels of negative emotions or overuse of magic," Ah. The elephant in the room. "They've occurred with alarming frequency ever since Yuu has come to attend— "

"If you're implying that they had something to do with-"

"— Which has caused many potentially life threatening situations," Crewel continued blithely. "That have necessitated my involvement in a medical capacity as we are unable to administer them proper healthcare without a legal identity or guardian."

Apollo was confused.

"I adopted them," Crewel said.

Yuu grasped for their last brain working brain cell.

 Crewel did what? That explained so many things. Especially the random 'Happy Adoption Day' chocolate-and-raspberry flavoured cake that Sam had given them out of the blue a few months ago. Grim had devoured it before Yuu could question the message they were too busy having an emotional breakdown because chocolate cake was their favourite. 

Crewel had taken them out to a café the next day while making sure they had more clothes than 'raggedy old uniform'.

They looked to where Apollo was standing, a flurry of emotions passing through his face before landing on unsettling blankness. His aura flared, and they could feel the anger and hurt and they were not going to let him hurt their adopted dad now!

"That's why the healthcare people were so nice!" They laughed nervously. It came out like a strangled dolphin. "I was worried Crowley was going to complain about the bill but it never came."

"Universal healthcare is a standard," Crewel said. "Unlike some of the horror stories you've shared about your own world."
 

Ah yes, their twice weekly remedial sessions binging historical documentaries as Crewel marked papers, sometimes doing homework while exchanging tidbits of trivia and tea.. A surprisingly productive time that was only sometimes interrupted by their fire-breathing kitty and cauldrons falling out of the sky.

"Is that so?" Apollo's smile was sunny but Yuu got the image of thunderous solar winds hounding the atmosphere and ensuing droughts. "Well, I should thank you for making sure they got proper treatment. You have my gratitude."

"Hm. It was no trouble," Crewel patted their head. "Yuu is a remarkable youth who I have no doubt will grow into a fine adult. It was my pleasure to help nurture the pup."

Apollo's aura cooled, like a gentle summer breeze. Together, Yuu and Crewel relaxed as the tension of a potentially murderous god was eased. Not all of them could be Persassy Jackson, loading up sarcasm to punt at unsuspecting gods and getting away with it.

"I'm glad we agree." 

There was something about this expression, the gentleness and dimples and softened golden eyes and signs of crow's feet showing the age and wisdom of the thousands-years-old god, that felt genuine. Almost — dare they say it — paternal.

"Good," Crewel said. He glanced towards his custom watch with puppy prints before patting their head again, straightening out their messed-up curls that they'd been gripping at in their frustration. "Our meeting time is nearly up. Do you have any questions?"

Apollo glanced at Yuu. "Are you happy here?"

"I…" Was that a trick question? What was the correct answer? "I am."

"Then that's all I need to know," Apollo said. "Now then, I don't suppose you could point me to the headmaster, or Headmage, as I hear you prefer?"

Her dad was grinning, not in the sun god way either, but like Mr D in an intense bout of Pinocle with a dirty trick up his sleeve. Horrifyingly, Crewel had the same expression.

Their homeroom teacher, and adopted father now (brain still not processing), pulled a paper out of his pocket and handed it over to Apollo. Professor Crewel sported the same nasty grin as when they'd been at Camp Vargas running for their lives and he had dressed up as an alien monster to scare the living daylights out of everyone.

"The Headmage shouldn't have any appointments at the moment," Crewel said. "Use this to enter if anyone tries to stop you."

"Much obliged," Apollo tucked the paper into his jacket pocket.

Well, Yuu reasoned that no one had been smote and their dad seemed like he was in a not-smiting mood. So all in all, it had been a successful parent-teacher interview with their up-until-now absentee godly parent and adopted father from another world (a sentence that gave them an aneurism just recounting).

Before Yuu could say anything to Crewel like 'thank you so much for giving me proper healthcare' or 'should I call you dad now' or anything of the sort, Apollo snapped his fingers. The garden tiles fell away in a shower of light (not the Zeus impregnating kind) and golden sand swirled, restructuring itself into a hallway at the entrance of the Headmage's office. Motion sickness hit them like a truck.

Yuu keeled over, feeling like they were dream hopping all over again.

"I'm so sorry!" Apollo's hand was firm on their shoulder. The nausea alleviated in seconds, replaced by warmth flooding their body. Yuu felt cold when their dad's dad retracted. "I forgot how taxing that can be for demigods."

"Think you can teach me that sometime?" They asked.

Apollo hummed thoughtfully. "Why not? Light travel would come in pretty handy."

"Wait, seriously?"

The doors flew open before their dad could respond.

Headmage Crowley looked like he fought a crow and lost. His suit was covered in scratches and feathers, his mask covered in peck marks and missing its own feathers, his hat nowhere to be seen and his black hair was a bird's nest that looked like it'd been pelted with pebbles, twigs and even more black feathers. From the windows above, they could spot black wings fluttering out of the office. Maybe a stray crow had found its way in.

Suspiciously, Apollo sported a 'cat that got the canary' sort of smugness as he extended his hand in courtesy.

"You must be the Headmage!" Light radiated from Apollo's body. "I've been wanting to talk to you. About my kid."

The Headmage's beady gold eyes blinked incredulously behind his mask. They stared at Apollo, then down to Yuu, who was about ready to be done with the situation and call it a night. Crowley quirked his head like a bird, as if trying to see the situation from a different angle.

The two shook hands awkwardly.

"I see?" The Headmage whipped out his magic staff, casting a spell that fixed his hair and office as he marched back to the desk and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. He threw his hands up and cheered. "How may I be of assistance? The prefect appeared in quite the state of disarray—" Because they'd just escaped a battle field. "— it was only my kind nature that encouraged me to take them in!"

Yuu wanted to scoff. Yeah, right. Kind nature? The Headmage had probably seen dollar signs the second a magicless, nameless, identity-less fourteen-year-old from another world fell out of his blasted coffins.

"Is that what happened?" The room was warm and unusually bright, sunlight streaking harshly through the windows.

"Why, of course! Yuu has proven themselves to be quite the beast tamer, encouraging the students to work together and making a place for themselves in this institution!" Crowley cheered. "They've certainly had their fair share of trouble making tendencies but in all my magnanimity I've turned a blind eye! Certainly, the Prefect wouldn't have gotten far without my— Oh my sevens! FIRE!!"

The window curtains of the Headmage's office had caught ablaze during his rant. Crowley quickly conjured a water spell with his staff, gathering power and shooting it like a geyser. He laughed nervously as the fire subsided.

Apollo continued to smile.

There was no way he hadn't had something to do with the spontaneous arson. But why?

"Crewel has already told me quite a few of their achievements," Apollo said, his hand resting on Yuu's shoulder. It was uncomfortably warm and tight. "No, I have other matters I wanted to discuss with you, Headmage."

There was an edge to his voice. Like a blade that you really didn't want to be on the pointy end of.

"Dad—"

"How about you go play with your friends?" Apollo said blithely. An anemoi— wind spirit, for the uninitiated — materialised from nowhere in a vaguely horse shape and gently picked them up, taking them out of the room. It vanished in with a 'pop' as they fell to the floor.

 The doors closed behind them with an ominous creeeakkk. Last thing they saw was Crowley's shocked, 'what have I gotten myself into' expression and Apollo's casual wave goodbye.

Some part of Yuu was vindictive enough to enjoy the Headmage's torment. The rest was just confused. What was Apollo trying to accomplish here? Was he the reason they ended up in Twisted Wonderland? And why now? Why appear now when everything was over and they'd already crawled up from the depths of Tartarus (manmade edition) and didn't need his help anymore?

Yuu had been content.

Now, they were just—  frustrated. Angry, almost. Gods were just insufferable.

Minutes felt like hours as Yuu very casually eavesdropped pass the door. ADHD meant that they really didn't have the bandwidth to retain everything or not be distracted by passing ghosts but Apollo wasn't exactly the quiet or subtle type. He was arguing with Crowley, for them (supposedly). Even dropping in lawyer speak that was critically effective against the Headmage.

"You know, there were a lot of things happening this past year," Apollo said from behind the doors. "In the mortal world, in Olympus. Imagine my surprise when one of my children appears in another world. At your institution no less. Now, normally this wouldn't be a problem—"

It wouldn’t?

"—Rifts happen all the time! It could have been an easy accident to fix. Just your average portal!"

"Well, uh, sir," Crowley's voice was stuttering and wheezing, like he was suffering a heatstroke. "That type of magic would be—"

"Section 19, Aisle 49. The third book on the top shelf," Apollo stated. "The forbidden library section—" They had those?? "—where you, as Headmage, have complete access to a spell that could have easily fixed the situation. Instead, you allowed my child to remain in this world and handle the crises that arose as a response to the fallible systems and symbols you've built your institution on. They could have died several times, as I hear. And you did nothing for them."

"Now, that's simply not true. I, um, err….waived their tuition fee!"

Yuu was glad that Apollo kept talking because they sure as heck wasn't about to entertain that sort of nonsense. Sure, they were accepted into a high school—ADHD, dyslexia and trouble magnet tendencies aside—on scholarship (that Crowley had just made up on the spot, let's be real) which was a miracle in and of itself for a demigod. But that was it. And it was a total rip-off! They didn't even count as a whole student.

Besides, Crowley had given them the bare minimum living allowance in exchange for just-under-the-legal-limit of errands and jobs they were doing around school. Yuu hadn't even been able to join a club since they seemed to be needed everywhere at once (seriously, most of the time it was to break up fights or make sure that a prank war didn't go too far, which happened a little too much at this school).  

"Let me be clear," The doorframe became unbearably hot as Yuu tore their hand away, skin sizzling. "Yuu likes this school and their friends. But if I hear of another accident where their safety, food, comfort, shelter or anything else is jeopardized due to your incompetence…then the future won't look very bright for you."

It was a lame threat that sounded like it belonged to an edgy teenager. Until you consider that Apollo was the God of Prophecy and when he says your future wasn't bright that could mean a lot of things—being thrown into a hole and never seeing the light of day again, dead, future career prospects down the drain, really dead, being trapped in paperwork forever and never touching grass again, super very dead. Oracles were finnicky like that.

The Delphic Oracle, Yuu remembered, was an attic mummy spewing the most nonsensical poems that only make sense in retrospect and just caused anxiety of 'world's-horniest-idiots-(minus Hades)-make-pact-to-not-impregnate-mortals-to-not-end-the-world' proportions (spoiler: they failed). The new oracle, Rachel Elizabeth Dare, was a delight. She received honorary Child of Apollo status following the Titan War and could hang out at Cabin Seven whenever she wasn't painting in her oracular cavern.

Silence ensued. They could vaguely make out more chatting in the room, but it was muffled by the half-melted entranceway.

The doors opened again, Apollo walking out casually in his casual flip-flops and Camp shirt, radiating sunlight like a beacon. His grin widened when he spotted them, casually standing in the empty hallway.

"Yuu—"

"What do you want?" They demanded.

Apollo had the audacity to look confused.

"Is this a favor? Or did you need a quest?" They continued. "Now isn't the best time for one so maybe you could outsource it to Percy—"
 

"I don't need a quest!" Their dad said. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Yuu deflated. "Why?"

"Why…what?"

"Why are you doing this?" They clarified. "You've never—  this is so out of character—  What's going on?"

A hundred scenarios flashed through their brain. Each worst than the last, and certainly not getting better. 

Their vision blurred black around the edges like a vignette on a camera frame. Air left their lungs like an express way had opened up, and they were desperately trying to corral it back. Yuu's hands were shivering, making it hard to find their Camp necklace (five or so beads in total, showing half a decade of their life) or Nisiotika— the enchanted bow hidden as a ring they'd inherited from Lee Fletcher.

Apollo's hand reached out to them.

They ran away.

Great job Apollo! You messed up. 

Apollo stared at the retreating form of his kid jumping out the window and if gods could have heart attacks, he would have dropped dead. In a burst of golden light, he reached the window's edge and sighed in relief knowing they were not a mangled body but had instead taken to roof-hopping over the spires. They did so with the practiced ease of a regular lava-wall climber. 

As Apollo had seen and heard about their experiences at Night Raven College, some part of him retreated. Only the shell of Phoebus Apollo—the godly version; arrogant and powerful—remained to enact the righteous vengeance he wanted. In doing so, he completely forgot the most important factor. Yuu. 

A mortal demigod. A child. His child. 

When he'd turned mortal and sought the help of demigods to fix his problems, like always, he had sauntered up to the door of Percy Jackson in downtown New York. The demigod hadn't knelt at his feet or thrown a parade, he was the type to give it straight; the gods sucked. 

As parents, as patrons, as lovers. They were volatile and self-obsessed and rarely if ever paid attention to the people they 'helped'. Maybe that was why his ex, Caesar Marcus Aurelius Commodus Antoninus Augustus (Commodus for short), had turned into a power mongering tyrant immortal after Apollo drowned him in a bathtub. Others too, he admitted, were victim of Phoebus Apollo's goddy ineptitude with humans. His love life was a wild mix of crazy lovers and plants. 

Yuu had stopped on a balcony on another tower, catching their breath. It was all too easy for Apollo to shift into a bird — a hawk this time, he'd had enough of crows and ravens — and land nearby.

He couldn't do this. Apollo had no idea what he was doing. He took a deep, hawkish breath and exhaled slowly. 

Instead of the mighty Phoebus Apollo, he showed them the form he was most comfortable with. A flabby, acne-ridden teenager with curly brown hair and lanky limbs that looked like he could've fallen over crying at the slightest inconvenience.

Yuu startled at his appearance, looking like they were debating the survivability of jumping off the balcony.

"My name is Lester Papadopoulos," He said. "Six months ago, I fell into a dumpster."

Chapter Text

There was drama, tragedy and way too many haikus.

In a nutshell? Their life story.

Apollo had decided to retell his tale with ukulele accompaniment, much to Yuu's befuddlement, who was still debating whether jumping off the balcony was a viable alternative. Here's the thing about Apollo's kids, which also extended to the god himself, much to their dismay — they were longwinded story tellers with a penchant for the dramatics. Which meant that by the time Apollo finished, they'd be lucky to still have the flesh on their bones with the five books worth of adventures and tragedies regaled. And to Apollo's credit, the sun was only starting to paint the sky in purple and oranges as the story reached its conclusion, the cool breeze of dusk greeting the sun god's ending solo with solemn commissary.

He allowed them the moment of contemplation, to ponder over the events that unfurled after the end of the Second Giant War — Zeus' punishment, falling into a dumpster, becoming a slave of destiny bonded to a thirteen year old child of Demeter named Meg McCaffery (who apparently dressed like a traffic light, which Apollo stressed was very important to her character), going to Percy Jackson's house with the son of Poseidon greeting him with a disappointed 'Why?' (which sounded exactly like what Percy would do, completely detached from whether or not Apollo had been godly), and going on countless more life-or-death adventurers (basically, run of the mill demigod stuff) to defeat a triumvirate of immortal roman emperors, including his ex who he drowned in a bathtub. There was also a prophetic arrow that spoke exclusively in Shakespeare and may-or-may-not have pulled their oracularity from divine wi-fi connection.

"I think…" Yuu said. "If we made a bet about how crazy our lives have been, I'd owe you falafel."

Apollo laughed, which was a little disconcerting seeing as he was in the body of a teenager. He looked nothing like the sculptures or paintings (most of them in nude with way too much showing. Greek history class could be a little traumatic when it's your parents on display).

Instead, he'd settled for Lester Papadopoulos and as much as his story griped on the flab and acne, which felt like the most teenage thing to ever teenager. The Apollo standing before them looked comfortable in his own skin. Most gods, in Yuu's limited experience, tended to change shapes to whatever suited their mood and they never quite seemed comfortable to stay in one form for long. Even Mr D occasionally shifted from leopard-print wearing middle-aged man to a maybe-twenty-something-year-old when he was teaching Castor and Pollux how to grow vines (though that was years ago), and he'd always turned effortlessly godly — in that inhumanly beautiful way, like a sculpted bust by a master craftsman — whenever his wife, Ariadne, made an appearance at camp. 

"You don't need to buy me falafel," Apollo said, grinning. "If you're craving some, I could conjure it up."

"That…would be nice," Yuu said. They're not sure what else to say, but having falafel while talking to their godly parent is better than not having it.

Apollo seems to glow for a second, literally speaking, and it's much more obvious now that the sun has started its descent over the horizon. 

A plate of falafel materializes in his hands, all piled in a small pyramid; a stack of perfectly browned, deep fried goodness on a round platter with a selection of colourful sauces. They smell divine, as if Yuu was standing back at Camp and pushing the best portions into the pyre, where even the most hideous of meats turned into the most delicious aromatherapy for the gods. 

"Wow, you have got to give me the recipe," Yuu said, looking at their dad for permission. He placed the plate on the balcony table, which was mostly for studying or flight practice. They snatched a falafel, or two, or three, or half the plate.

"An old friend I visited actually recommended it to me. The restaurant is in Boston," Apollo said. "Trade secret recipe by Fadlan's Falafel. Not even I can get it without bypassing some pesky laws, mortal or otherwise."

"I'll have to visit some time then," Yuu commented, taking a bite of the falafels. They weren't too hot, or too cold. They were just in the goldilocks zone; perfect with every taste. Flavour seemed to explode in their mouth like eating chucks of ambrosia. "I really have to visit sometime. You said it was in Boston?"

Apollo nodded, before smiling sheepishly. "You probably shouldn't go all the way to Boston, it's got this whole problem with Greek demigods and stuff. Not monsters, exactly…" His expression shifted, eyes going skyward as if he expected lightning to strike. "Anyways, they have a chain in downtown New York too." 

"Oh good, that's in the range for the Taxi of Damnation," Yuu said.

"Uhh…is that a good thing?"

 "It's not everyone's cup of tea but I like those kinds of thrill rides. Playful Land has a bunch of good ones, but that's for another time. Besides, the Gray Sisters are not the worst drivers I've had."

"They aren't?!" Apollo seemed horrified at the thought, before realisation graced his teenage (yeah, that's never going to be not weird) face. "Oh…right. Elio."

 He adjusted his ukelele to his side, which was connected to a strap with sharpied signatures like a cast.  They could recognise a few names; Will Solace in yellow with doodled suns, Kayla Knowles in green with a bow and arrow, Austin Lake in blue with a saxophone, Meg McCaffrey in red with a vaguely hideous baby vaguely peach angel and Nico Di Angelo in black with a small medical note signed by 'W.S', judging by the plus sign they could also guess was an approximation of the red cross. There were other names they couldn't recognise; Jerry, Gracie and Yan.

Yuu isn't quite sure how they feel. There's a mix of dread bubbling up in their gut, like Lou Ellen haphazardly tossed in the wrong herb and the cauldron was seconds away from blowing up. "Are those all from Cabin Seven? Besides Meg and Nico, that is."

"Yeah. Jerry, Gracie and Yan joined a little before the battle at the Tower of Nero," Apollo said, smiling fondly. "They're adjusting pretty well. Cabin Seven won capture the flag last week or so I hear."

"Oof. Cabin Five and Six are going to be gunning for us then," Yuu said. They glanced at the signatures again, their mouth moving before they could tape it shut with tact. "What about Victoria? Or Atlan? Eliana? Dawn? Alba?"

Judging by Apollo's expression — which changed from fondness to grief in the blink of an eye, his glow seeming to fade it was just the two of them standing on the cold balcony with the purple sky — they were really not going to like the answer.

"Maybe they ended up here like I did?" Yuu suggested. "Somehow? I'm not really clear on the details about that but we should probably look for them—"

"Yuu."

"They wouldn't be at NRC, since I'd have noticed if mass amounts of students were cursed with rhyming couplets — which they'd totally deserve by the day— so we should probably check Royal Sword or Nobel Bell—"

"Yuu," Apollo stressed again. They got the message, shutting up now. "I— I'm sorry."

Somehow, that was what broke them the most. An apology they always wanted — 'sorry for not being there', 'sorry for all the monsters', 'sorry you have to fight two wars for us' — but at that moment Yuu could have crushed it underfoot and never looked back. There was a dampness to their cheeks as their vision blurred, salt filling their mouth.

Yuu wiped their eyes. "I'm sorry."

"No," Apollo said. A warm hand brushed their cheek and their vision cleared, tears wiped away. "It's okay. You have nothing to be sorry for and certainly not for crying. Heroes have always had a hard life and unhealthy emotional processing is how you get Herakles."

His tone was light and Yuu couldn't help but giggle.

"Did we already burn shrouds for them?" 

"I don't know. Zeus had already…I couldn't be there for the funerals," Apollo said mournfully, and there was a weight to his shoulders — which looked so out of place yet so acculturated in Lester Papadopoulos' smaller body — that made Yuu believe he was telling the truth. That in the depths of his thousands years old soul, there was a special place carved out just for his kids, and losing them had meant something to him that wasn't just a footnote on a throwaway shroud.

"There's an Unbirthday Party this weekend," They blurted out. "It's happening on Saturday but I should have time to prepare for Sunday. Is it okay if…I want to burn shrouds for them. I couldn't be there the first time, and it's not exactly proper but—" Yuu took a deep inhale. "I want to honour them. My brothers, sisters, siblings…And would you join me, dad? You know more about what happened than I do."

Their dad looked shocked, not in the stricken by lightning sense, but in the happily-caught-off-guard sense judging by the radiance that filled the balcony and their falafels getting a bit toastier. "I'd be honoured. This Sunday then?"

"Yeah, there's a lake near campus we could use since the Coral Sea has a strict policy on sea burials," Yuu said. Azul had informed them as such, when he and Riddle were debating the economic trade between the Coral Sea and Queendom, which apparently needed an impartial third party to mediate and who better than the Prefect with no ties to anywhere in this world. "It's a half-hour hike from Ramshackle, just down the mountain, and we'd just need to get some of the fairies permissions — they're like the nymphs of this world."

"That sounds good, kid," Apollo patted their head, his palm sweaty like a teenager, but he didn't have to reach much considering they were still shorter than Lester. "I'll take care of everything and we can make the shrouds together on Sunday. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah, that sounds amazing," Yuu said. "Thanks, dad."

Apollo glowed with happiness, stretching out his arms like he was going to pull them into a hug. On instinct, Yuu reached out to take his hand, shaking it politely as they stepped back.

"I'm still processing all this," Yuu said hesitantly. Their dad nodded, understanding clouding his face.

There was a muffled chatter along the walls, behind where the balcony connected to the spire with a large oak door with crows carved into medieval doorknobs. Three familiar faces peaked around the windows like a snowman stacked on top of each other, looking about as inconspicuous as balloons in a sky of birds.

"Looks like your friends have spotted us," Apollo barely glanced over his shoulder to where over a dozen teenage boys plus a floating tablet was not-so-inconspicuously spying on them. "I have to get back to Olympus, duty calls and all, but I'll meet you on Sunday, sunrise. Unless you'd rather go back to camp? I could take you there too! Will and the others would love to see you again."

Yuu pondered, tossing around the idea of going home. They fiddled with the ring on their finger, knowing that just the right polish of the deep blue hyacinth gem was enough to conjure up a bow worthy of numerous head shots and plenty of concussions if they played the melee route. Long Island came to mind; the Strawberry Farm and the Big House, and the campfires with songs that not-so-subtly bemoaned having godly parents.

"NO WAY!!"

The herd of teenage boys crashed onto the balcony. Apollo, seeing his exit cue, winked at Yuu and disappeared like the sun over the horizon.

"Henchmen!!" Their partner leapt into their arms, nearly knocking them over the banister railings, wailing like a ghost starved for Happy Meals. "You're not leaving the Great Grim so easily!"

Ace and Deuce grabbed at their shoulders, both panicked in equal measure. Ace's eyes darted around, paranoid, looking at the spot where Apollo had just disappeared. Deuce looked at them, frightened and wide-eyed, brimming with unanswered questions.

Yuu sighed fondly, catching their little monster in a bone-squeezing hug that has him yowling for mercy. Too bad; ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves, or so the saying goes. "Idiots. I'd come back to find the campus burned down or something if I just left like this."

Despite their heart-to-heart with Apollo, which still felt like one of Clovis' (Hypnos Cabin) attempts at humor, the first thing Yuu did when arriving at their dorm was fall onto the mattress and scream into the pillows.

The very much most important, not-up-for-debate point of contention was the fact that Yuu wasn't able to catch the tail-end of the bustling dining hall feast. Obviously. They were informed by a disgruntled Grim, who had yet to retract his claws from their coat, that it was abuzz with merriment, royals and celebrities peacocking about, and people raiding the free food like no tomorrow. It was easy to imagine Ruggie and the horde of children (mostly hyenas from the slums) munching away and storing the food into sacks for the road as Crowley mourned the expenses.

At the very least, Trey had packed them from leftovers to take to Ramshackle Dorm after realising they had missed the festivities, which had prompted the subsequent ambush on the balcony as their friends tore across the campus in search. Apparently, connecting the dots that the Prefect had been missing for hours, without Grim, was quite distressing given their track record, which was only mildly insulting because it's not as if Yuu ever asked for trouble. It just came with the demigod package.

The night was almost too quiet, not even the chitter of bugs in the walls or the teasing spooks from their phantasmal roommates. Yuu tossed and turned in their bed, unable to keep the assault of paranoia under bay. Apollo showing up all of a sudden was one thing. Maybe it was even appreciated. But it begged a question, or two, or five hundred.

If Apollo could visit Twisted Wonderland at his leisure (presumably) then, barring any ancient implied laws suggested in not-so-subtle glances at the clear skies, then was it possible other gods could too? Demigods? Monsters?

Yuu wasn't looking forward to explaining why they'd stabbed an old lady in an alley (scythian dracaena) or tackled a gym teacher's TA out the window (cyclops). Again. If they were lucky, maybe they'd only have to explain why the 'nice old ladies' knitting across the road and snipping thread was a sign of imminent doom.

Actually, it might be worst if their Night Raven friends could see pass the Mist. There was very little, if any, chance that most of them would pass up the chance to beat up someone who was actively trying to eat them or badmouth/try to scam gods and Yuu isn't completely sure that magic — the mass-produced Twisted Wonderland version — was effective on monsters in the same way Celestial Bronze was. Apparently turning people (or potential monsters) into guinea pigs was illegal high-level spellcasting in this world, which while being completely fair, meant that Lou Ellen and the Hekate Cabin would have one heck of a time.

Claws dug into their blankets as Grim let out a low, unpleased groan. "Henchmen?"

"Yeah, Grimmy?" They stroked his fur, watching him spin around trying to make a little space in the expanse of plush blanket (courtesy of Pomefiore). "Can't sleep?"

Grim climbed up near their head next to the pillows. His little grey paws pressed against their cheeks, bright blue eyes flickering out to the open window — which was a deliberate choice to prevent drafts and also Rook liked to visit in the dead of night — before plopping down. His forked tail flicked aggressively. "Is that guy really yer' dad?"

"Oh…yeah, he is."

Grim frowned, grumbling, fur raised in agitation.

Yuu raised an eyebrow. "What's bothering you? Care to share?"

"Yer dad," Grim said. "What's his deal? He said he was gonna take you away."

"He said he could take me back to camp," Yuu corrected. Grim didn't look any better, ears flat against his head, flames sputtering weakly. "Hey, didn't I say I wouldn't leave you so easily? I don’t want to come back to the dorm burned down."

Grim scowled. "The Great Grim would never!" He sniffled, wiping his little nose with a paw. "But you better not leave me alone, Henchmen! What am I going to do without my number one follower?"

"You have Ace and Deuce," Yuu teased. "And you're becoming such a good mage. You even got 80% on the last alchemy quiz without cheating! Or Azul's study guides."

"Nyahaha. Obviously you recognise my greatness," Grim puffed up proudly. "But you're my number one!"

"Aww," Yuu cooed. "You're my number one partner too, Grimmy. My little fluffball, the strongest and most adorable mage in all of Twisted Wonderland."

"I ain't adorable!"

"Yes you are," Yuu pulled him into cuteness aggression fuelled snuggles.  He yowled in protest. "You're my little fluffers."

"No I ain't!"

"Yes you are."

"Fine…I am," Grim purred softly as he gave in to the snuggles. They gave him little scratches under the chin and behind the ears, which made him melt into a puddle of fluffy purrs. Yuu ran their fingers through the knots and charred bits of his fur, a consequence of frequent arson, and combed it out to maximum fluffiness.

The mirror on their fireplace didn't move, no reflection or light or giant mouse with oversized white gloves and big ears. Their partner had drifted off into a fitful sleep, purring like an engine and laying against their arm, which was quickly becoming numb. There was a universal law to never move with a cat sleeping on your limbs, meaning that for all intents and purposes, they were trapped. Insomnia still plagued their head while pins and needles were forming along their arms.

A crow perched by the open window, which was usually unlatched in case a wild Rook ever decided to show himself. Its beady eyed stare glinted under the moonlight, before letting out a series of chirps and caws in a quiet lullaby. It took them a second to place the song, because they'd mostly heard it on panpipes or trumpets or guitars or anything their siblings could get a hold of.

Apollo's Hymn.

Yuu joined Grim in slumber soon after.

The makeshift infirmary in the middle of Manhattan was starting to be overrun with more corpses than demigods. An unsettling sinkhole was making itself comfortable in their stomach as they once again changed the gauze, scoured for disinfectant, force-fed their stubborn cousins with nectar and ambrosia and prayed to any god that was listening that everyone could make it out alive.
 

"Don’t be stupid, Lux," They had to forcefully push down Pollux, son of Dionysus, who looked desperate to march into the grave after he had broken his arm in the battle. "Castor wouldn't want you to die like this. You know that."

Their cousin looked worse than the dead walking the streets of Manhattan. His blonde hair was tussled and covered with golden monster dust, which gave off the perpetual stench of sulphur. Pollux's beaded camp necklace was covered in soot, the marbles almost indistinguishable, and his shirt was ripped in places to show the curves of his tummy and lacerations across the skin. There was a paleness to his skin from the blood loss, his hands clammy and turning purple from lack of circulation (time for a bandage change…) and his eyebags were the shade of the underworld shades.

"I…I know," Pollux grumbled, glaring at his arm cast as if it had personally insulted him. And maybe on some level, it had. A personal reminder that he was alive, enough to feel the pain of broken bones, while his brother — his twin — remained in the grave. "You doing okay, Euanthe?"

"No," They said bluntly. "If we ever make this out alive, my schedule is going to packed with therapy appointments. Mandatory too. No one skips out, not even you. Gods, Clarisse is going to be such a nightmare. She nearly ripped apart the office last time and Silena was alive then."

The statement was surreal, because Silena had been a part of Camp even before they had joined. It was unbelievable for her to just be gone. A traitor. Like Luke. In the end, she died a hero —but what did that really mean in the end?

"You don't have an office. It's just the Big House's guest room," Pollux choked out a laugh, raspy and tired, but still an improvement from the brooding pity party that could have rivalled their local child of Hades. "Still, that's accurate.  Clarisse was…something out there. Still got goosebumps. Man, I can't believe Silena…I guess you could say she pulled a Patroclus, huh?"

"Clarisse would definitely put Achilles to shame."

The two of them giggled like children on a fieldtrip and not the battlefield of their parents' millennia old conflict.

"You're good with…making this stuff not so bad anymore. Thinking about making counselling a career?"

"It's just another form of medicine," They said, because it was. Just another trick of the trade from their dad. Nothing very special, nothing they could call their own. "Hey, when the anniversary comes up, we should get Nico to deliver some goods to the underworld. Lee would probably appreciate some orange meringues while he's making his way around Elysium. Think Spooky would agree to that?"

"You want the Ghost King to be your delivery boy?" Pollux asked, incredulous.

"I can bribe him with mythomagic cards."

"There's no way that would work!"

"I have a super rare deck," They whispered, glancing around while a conspiratorial grin, seeing the knowing look their brother, Will Solace, was sending their way. Keeping up morale was good and if they got to ramble about Mythomagic, all the better! "The exclusive holographic Big Three, one of them signed by the god themselves!"

"No way," Pollux said. "I have no idea what that means."

"Any self-respecting mythomagic fan would die for something like that, trust me."

"Twenty drachma says no. How'd you even get it signed?"

"Deal. I asked Percy for a favour if he ever saw his dad and he gave it back after he came back from that mission with Beckendorf—" Their hands kept moving, readjusting bandages and refilling nectar jars. "—Poseidon certainly has…penmanship. I keep it framed in my bunk back at Cabin Seven. Nico would totally go for it."

The card smelt eternally of kelp and sea salt now, with a large glittery blue signature on the back. It was a small thing, but it made them happy when Percy had dropped it off between world saving missions.

Pollux didn't look convinced, even if he was completely objectively wrong. Another patient came into their infirmary, with Will preoccupied reattaching the limbs of an Ares kid, which meant their little session was coming to a close. With a firm threat to stay put or else, which usually meant tattling to Chiron or Mr D, they ran to make sure another one of their idiot family didn't bleed to death. They hoped everyone on the field was okay, that no one else had died in their parent's war.

Hours later, after Percy and Luke and Annabeth and everything—

Michael Yew was dead. Missing in Action, officially. But they all knew there was no way he'd have survived being swept away with those monsters by the river. Percy told them personally, sat down with them for hours as the cried and screamed and grieved, because he knew better than anyone how unfair the gods could be. Will became the official Cabin Head afterwards, even though they both knew he wanted anything but, and the bodies of their siblings and cousins were laid to a hero's grave.

In the aftermath, Pollux joined them in hunting down a certain son of Hades to take a trip to McDonalds.

"I'll pay," Euanthe said.

"Father has been in a horrible mood since the battle with all the shades in disorder and the influx of deaths. I can’t just—"

Euanthe pulled out their trump card.

Nico promptly agreed.

'Lux still owes me twenty drachma,' Yuu thought, entering the world of the living again.

Saturday morning came earlier than expected, the haze of a fond memory dancing just a bit out of reach, sunlight hailing the beginning of the year's last Unbirthday Party to celebrate any arbitrary date that didn't have any significance to the attendees. The dawn was bright and, for the first time, Yuu wanted to stay in bed.

"We're painting the roses red~ Painting the roses red~"

Heartslabyul was participating in a coordinated dance number of students flocking about in their assigned roles, painting the roses in the hedge maze, setting up tables, carolling hedgehogs and prepping the flamingos for a dubiously ethical game of croquet. It was in stark contrast to the beginning of the year, where the first years would be running around headless and one too many people were falling over themselves to avoid Riddle's tyrannical gaze. Now, the garden was filled with students moving like a well-oiled machine cog rigged to a finely tuned beat as Riddle called out orders, scepter in hand, looking like a real Queen amongst the people.

The good kind, like you'd see in movies, not the raging dictator or senile old woman.

"Hey, you made it!" A Cater popped along their path, phone in hand snapping away like a madman. He'd been doing that more lately, claiming that he wanted to capture every last moment until internships started and he'd saunter off to study photography or modelling or something of the sort. "The party's about to start."

"Wouldn't miss it," Yuu said. Grim was sprawled in their bag, which was for once devoid of scribbled music sheets and homework, still snoozing without a care in the world. They hadn't had the heart to wake him up this morning, and he slept heavier than the Drakon that guarded Camp. "Should I be expecting party crashers?"

Cater glanced over their shoulder, where the connecting mirror laid, his smile edging towards ominous. "Don't worry, we'll handle it! Wouldn't want Riddle to blow his top so close to exam, ya know?"

He waved around his magic pen, sparks of light flying around with red diamond shimmering in the air, swirling around them as Yuu's outfit changed from ramshackle uniform to a light blue apron dress with a poofy skirt, black hair ribbons and generally wonderland-y ensemble to match the Heartslabyul boys. They smiled happily at the magical girl transformation, which never seemed to get old. Grim looked very dashing while still fast asleep with his dapper top hat and tie, and little white bracelets that looked like repurposed scrunchies.

"Myah…" Grim grumbled, shifting in his sleep. "Five more minutes…"

"I'll wake you up when the food is ready," They promised. Grim purred contently, smushing his face against the plush toy of a fish, which had been a souvenir from the Atlantica Museum (courtesy of Azul's wallet).

Over the crowd, they spotted Ace wrangling the hedgehogs, who were climbing over him like a step ladder. They clearly had a favorite, seeing as the little blue and pink fellas would bite at anyone else who tried to take them away. Above them, Deuce was riding on his broom, a flock of rainbow flamingoes following behind. The other first years, and even some second and third years, were diligently assisting them on the side, setting up feed and pens for the critters to roam comfortably without being stressed by the humans.

Having spotted the shade of blue amidst a sea of red, Riddle Rosehearts walked over with a gleeful smile that told them everything was in perfect order.
 

"Prefect, excellent timing," Riddle said. "I met your father yesterday."

"He talked to your mom, right?" Yuu winced. "Sorry if he said something…"

"If he did, it does not reflect on you," Riddle patted their shoulder reassuringly. "Still, considering your circumstances." He glanced around, where it was almost too obvious half of them were eavesdropping. "I was skeptical of his character. We can discuss this after the festivities, however. My priority is your wellbeing. So…how are you doing?"

"Not too bad actually," They said, a smile creeping on their face. "I missed out on the buffet because we needed to…catch up and stuff. But Trey saved me leftovers, so it's all good. He's um, planning to spend the day with me on Sunday doing stuff."

"Stuff?" Riddle rose a finely maintained eyebrow.

"Stuff," Yuu affirmed. "I'd rather not talk about it in mixed company."

"Is it illegal stuff?"

"No..? At least, I don't think so."

Riddle nodded, taking their words at face value, as Yuu contemplated whether burning shrouds in a lake may have counted as illegal. It would definitely be hard to explain to authorities. 'Hey, Mr Cop, good to see you again, yes we are burning shrouds on the lake, it's a tradition to honour the deceased. Who's dead? Don't worry about it!'

Well, if all else failed, they could employ the secret art of bribery.

After being guided to their seats, which was placed opposite of Riddle's on the long stretch of table, Yuu and Grim watched as the other students settled down. Next to them were Ace and Deuce, trading troubled glances that practically screamed questions about the night before, but they were obviously told to keep quiet, given the occasional Cay-Cay grin sent their way.

The garden fell silent as Riddle slammed his scepter against the floor like a gavel, a resonance of magical energy stretching over the gardens, quick as a guillotine. The young Housewarden gave the crowd a heartwarming smile, standing up on a podium — which was dragged out by some second years — and greeting the students.

"This will be the last Unbirthday Party of the Year!" Riddle declared, to the mixed applause and mourning of the students. "And today's guest of honour, who has witnessed the high and low points of our dorm throughout the year, is the Ramshackle Prefect Yuu and Grim. Treat them with respect." Or else, was sent to the crowd. "Despite the trials and tribulations—"

"Putting it mildly there," Ace mused, quietened by the glare Riddle sent from across the courtyard. Yuu shuddered under its wake, the grey eyes reminding them a little to much of Annabeth, and that afterimage was somehow even more terrifying then the casual 'decapitation' of a temperamental tyrant (he was getting better!).

"Heartslabyul has maintained strong academic showings over the last two years since I've stepped up at Housewarden. I will ensure this continues next year, and onwards after I succeed my position," Riddle stared down all the students, who froze stiff under his gaze, before smiling all cherub-like with dimples on his cheeks and a light in his eyes. "For today, we will partake in the festivities of the Unbirthday Party with reverie and camaraderie for a fruitful year."

He raised his scepter to the sky, mimicked by the crowd with their eclectic assortment of juice cups and teas.
 

"For Heartslabyul!"

Nostalgia struck them like an arrow as the music started, the sounds of trumpets and percussion and some strings that were hopelessly out-of-tune. Heartslabyul had a very interesting interpretation of instruments, which Yuu discovered as they were once again pulled into the band after finishing a plate of pastries and goods. The horns were shaped like pretzels, sharp angles and curves aplenty, with percussion being played upside-down from a strapped chair like a roller-coaster (the student playing was very talented and red in the face from the blood rushing to their head. Yuu was very concerned for them) and the guitars were shaped with hearts, clovers, diamonds and clubs like a playing card deck. The traditional instruments of the Queendom, Riddle explained, though Yuu would have preferred to call them a madman's instruments of torture. As if the craftsman really hated the musician.

Still, Yuu couldn't help but want to set something on fire; a glorious blaze of embers against a dark sky, campers singing out of tune with the music, and the sound of nymphs hustling in the background. It would have made the occasion just a hint more familiar. They resisted the urge, since rose gardens tended to be very flammable and they did value keeping their head. 

By the time it was over, Yuu had collapsed on a nearby bench, along with the rest of the band members. It was almost like being with their siblings, as water was passed along with banter.

"Thanks for filling in, Prefect!" One of the boys said.

"Yeah, you really saved our hide!" Another added. "Riddle would've noticed us being out of tune if it wasn't for your quick thinking."

"Wasn't the point of it to be out of tune?"

"It's discordant," Another boy said, pushing up his glasses. "As is traditional in the Queendom. Riddle would surely have noticed if it were properly out of tune. So, thank you."

Yuu shoved the heart-shaped guitar into the waiting hands of a student. "Yeah, no problem. Gotta say, I don't envy Heartslabyul's band. You guys have it rough."

"You have no idea! Riddle wouldn't let us have a break for weeks!" The first boy bemoaned. "I never even touched an instrument before this year! And he expected me to know four songs by heart?! Insane!"

"They are the most historically significant songs in the Queendom's history," Second pointed out. "Everyone knows them!"

"Yeah but not everyone plays the dodecahedron!"

Laughter erupted from the small crowd, and Yuu reveled in the bubble of merriment for the briefest of moments, pretending as if they'd never been kidnapped from a war-torn battlefield against Mother Earth herself.

The bubble popped as they were kidnapped again. Not by magic mirrors and stuffed into coffins (thank the gods) but by their rabble of friends who just so happen to include Riddle Rosehearts himself, the vice housewarden Trey, and Cater who was presumably there for the LOLs. Deuce and Ace had dragged them to a secluded pavilion in full view of the gardens, but far enough to deter any would-be eavesdroppers.

"Okay, spill!" Ace said, hands on hips all sassy-like. "What happened yesterday? You just disappeared and then we find you on a balcony with some strange boy? Who was that? Your boyfri—"

"Ma dia, no. Absolutely not," Yuu silenced him with a glare. "While there may be precedent for that kind of thing— just, no — that's my dad!"

"The renaissance performer?" Deuce asked.

"The other one!"

"You can have two dads?" Deuce looked so lost. "Wait…is that biological or…wait, that's probably insensitive. You don’t have to worry! We would never judge you for that!"

"That's not the problem right now, though he is right that we'd never judge you for something out of your control," Trey said, tone patient as a saint. "Riddle mentioned meeting with your father yesterday but I was a little doubtful due to…well, everything we know about you, Prefect."

Riddle nodded. "I was skeptical as well, when my mother first approached him. He was quite sharp tongued and— wait, what do you mean precedent for that kind of thing????" The poor boy went completely red in the face.

"Have you ever picked up a Greek mythology book?" Yuu deadpanned, before flipping the switch in their head to semi-professional, totally knows what they're doing and not actively falling apart at the seams. "Sorry, I just like listening to history and true crime podcasts with Will sometimes off duty — way better than reading. There are some really good story tellers out there, y'know, and I'm getting off topic.."

"Hold the brakes, the guy we saw on the balcony was your dad?" Deuce asked again. "He looked our age!"

"Yeah, having acne and a fifteen-something year old is one hell of a ride," Ace agreed.

"Acne?" Riddle's nose wrinkled in confusion. "He didn't have acne? His skin was rather flawless actually."

"Wait, what?" Ace said. "No way, he's all flab and acne. Messy brown hair, pasty as heck?"

 "Impossible! He was rather tall, blonde and bronze-toned. You must be seeing things wrong."

"Nuh-uh!" 

They looked at each other, then at Yuu, who apparently had all the answers in the situation.

"Dad can shapeshift." 

"He chose to look like that?" Ace asked incredulously.

"OMG. That's totes super cool! Is that his UM?" Cater asked excitedly. "Wait — you don't have magic in your world do you, Prefect? How does that work?

"We have magic, to a point. But we have a completely different system, which is probably why the mirror didn't register it and well," They weren't sure whether to feel bashful or smirk with a 'I know something you don't' smugness that had been plaguing them the past months. "It never came up."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Grim grumbled.

"It means that how we use magic is different and a little inaccessible at some points in this world. Real inconvenience, lemme tell you that much. Like, where do you get magic powers from?"

"From…" Deuce frowned. "Uhhh…our hearts?"

Riddle lightly tapped him with the scepter, like a bonk to the head, but not enough for brain damage because the gods definitely knew that the boy didn’t need any more of that. "Magic is generated by mages by manipulating external elements of magical energy, which Fae are most adapted to making them the most prevalent source of mages. There is no inherent origin of magic, only that it is an omnipresent force. There are theories that it began with blessings from the gods to humanity, or it was crafted by ancient sorcerers."

"Hmm…ours is a little similar, since it originates from the gods," Yuu said. "There are a few types of 'magic' I guess you could call it. The most important one is the Mist, courtesy of Lady Hecate, the Goddess of Magic. It's a veil that separates the magic from the mundane. It also does not exist here."

Yuu held out their ring, whipping around their fingers in a magician's flourish to pull out a long bow. The others, who had seen their prowess firsthand, marveled at the craftsmanship of the golden Nisiotika. 

"Normally, when I pull this out, mortals would see a…baseball bat or gun or something," Yuu said. It was never really innocuous to hold something so big that not even the Mist could retcon into passing airport security and more often than not labelled them as a spectrum between a sports kid or a terrorist. It depended on the city. "It's made with celestial bronze, which is like a magic alloy, and it's enchanted to generate photon arrows, basically light, when I string it."

"Neat! Never figured how that thing worked. Horrible to know that Rook won the bet. Totes thought it was just like a pocket dimension or something you got from Crewel. So, magic is like a secret society in your world," Cater snapped pics of their bow with a grin. "Reminds me of the early days, like in Trein's textbooks, with covens and stuff."

"I've heard of covens," Yuu said. "Encountered some Egyptians a while back actually but, uh, they're not part of the pantheon-magic-world thing I'm familiar with. We mostly ignore them cause it can get messy. Divine politics are complicated, I guess." 

Yuu adjusted Grim on their lap, enough to draw back Nisiotika, who obeyed happily to their whims, and released the arrow of light that cascaded pass the bushes of Heartslabyul before fading as it hit it's mark, the impression of an arrow still laden on the tree trunk.
 

"Enchanted weapons are pretty popular. I got this as a gift from my older brother," Yuu smiled fondly. "Otherwise, the most common type of magic, at least to me, is demigod magic."

"Demigod," Trey said. "Half-god? It's related to the gods you mentioned before right? Hecate?"

"Yep. There's a ton of them. Twelve big Olympians, a cohort of minor gods and goddesses, and nymphs. The divine hierarchy has a bunch of questionable power dynamics, really. But Demigods or Half-bloods, as they are also called, are the byproduct of when a god and human get…together," They said. "Doesn't have to be physically intimate for pregnancy either, unfortunately. You get so many more accidental babies like that it's so weird. Actually, I have no idea how half the pregnancies work. We can read Ancient Greek but we can’t read English, which is totally unfair, and we're all ADHD."

"You're a halfblood," Cater cut in, almost dropping his phone. His green eyes widened, the cheery facade dropping to total shock. "Child of a human…and a GOD!?"

"Yup. Dad is Apollo, pretty known for healing stuff, now rides the sun car," Yuu said, ignoring their accidental haiku that they completely blamed on recent divine exposure. It wasn't even a good one. "There's a camp on Long Island for Half-Bloods like us where we're like eighty percent safer. Probably, just stay clear of the Ares Cabin, never get on Athena Cabin's bad side and do not ever insult Demeter Cabin's plants or Dionysus Cabin in general. For most people, via the Mist, it’s just your everyday strawberry farm."

"Interesting," Riddle's eyes shimmered with scholarly intrigue. "And what would warrant such a place? Does inheriting the blood of a god cause inherent risks? Such as old grudges and enemies?"

You have no idea, Yuu wanted to laugh. Something caught in their throat, like the bubbling pit of dread in their stomach was about to erupt and make them vomit their non-existent, totally healthily processed trauma onto the grass.

They forced a smile, willing themselves to think sunshine and rainbows. "Questions can be directed via the non-existent email that Crowley never bothered to give me. Now, if you'll excuse me, the minor powers of prophecy tell me that something is going to explode—"

A student tripped over the purple tail of a very familiar not-NRC student who vanished with a smile, letting the poor guy throw the leftover cocktails into the side of a slightly too pyromaniac first year.

"So I will be taking my leave. Adios~"

"Get back here," Ace demanded, as Riddle raged off in a storm. "You can't just leave us with that! This whole 'dad' conspiracy was just getting interesting!"

"Can and will," They threw Grim over their shoulder and powerwalked away. "You're just using it to escape clean up duty. Go help Trey put out the fire! And like I said, direct questions to my email!"

"THAT DOESN'T EXIST!!"

"Not my problem."

Were they running way? Most people would answer yes. Yuu thought of it as a tactical retreat. 

There were questions hanging off every inch of the suspension bridge they've built for their friends, mixed in with confusion and disjointed explanations of fantastical other-worlds. They liked bragging about having a godly parent, being special and a part of something bigger than themselves, but when it came to the specifics…What was it like to have a godly parent? They have to be totally amazing! What cool, fantastical powers do you have?

Thing is, this world has an illusion of gods. Virtuous and noble, like some all-mighty benevolence, which to a point could be translated to the Greek Pantheon. To a very, very short point. Some part of Yuu doesn't want to burst that bubble just yet, letting the façade fester a little longer. They don't want to admit to the reality; that demigods were often the unwanted byproducts of lustful affairs and scandals and were thrown aside like pawns on a chess board.

There's a kindle of defiance in them that refuses to accept that lot in life — it burned with every year that the Titan War brewed and onwards pass the Giant's Uprising. The Gods never cared about them, did they? If they did, why would they let their kid fight in wars, crawl through pits of monsters and witness atrocities that could shatter the psyche. They called humans delicate, yet never gave a passing glance at their so-called heroes, sending them on wild, death defying escapades at a whim.

It's infuriating but there's nothing to be done. Nothing that can be done. Because in the end, Yuu isn't a child of the Big Three or a hero of prophecy. They're just a no-name child of Apollo, one of dozens or hundreds or thousands, who just had some good luck with music and bows and occasionally making tourniquets and delivering babies. And the weirdest prophetic visions, literal cartoons (talking animals and all!) sometimes, but that was a new thing. 

And sometimes…sometimes, they wanted to indulge in the fantasy that the divine part of themselves were as non-existent as its DNA.

So, Yuu knocked on the door of the only person in this world that could have understood, outcasted by even the gods themselves.

Idia Shroud opened the door, still in his pajamas and slippers, flaming blue hair loosely fluttering across the ground. "Dude, it hasn’t even been thirty minutes since we uploaded the video."

"What video?"

"The music video? That we recorded together? And you made me edit??? It's rigged to be posted during peak algorithm time. I spent so much time on that code…like ten minutes or something," Idia glanced at the disgruntled Grim on their shoulder. "So uh, deal's done. But, y'know, you can keep bringing him over...gods, you look like a wreck."

"No way!" Grim hissed.

"Deal," Yuu plopped Grim into Idia's willing clutches. "Take out some gamer fuel or something for me. I need a strong shot of caffeine."

"Sunshine and rainbows needs caffeine?" Idia asked, looking like he was about to start apocalypse planning, but complied nonetheless. He trudged through the only slightly messy room like a sloth, lanky limbs stretching over discarded piles of junk and magazines before reaching the minifridge. "Ortho told me about Parent's Day. Guessing it has something to do with that?"

Yuu plopped on the bed, catching the drink can with their left hand, opening it in a single flick of the hand. "We're having a…bonding day on Sunday. Tomorrow."

"Oof— Absent parent wanting to spend time together? Definitely an agenda," Idia swiveled in his gaming chair, cooing at Grim in his lap, who was begrudgingly accepting as a catnip ball was placed between his paws. "What's the game here?"

"No idea! But I need you to take care of Grimmy here," Yuu took a large swig of the drink, which melted on their tongue with pops of orange and chemicals. "While we burn shrouds."

Idia looked alarmed.

"Funeral shrouds," Yuu said. "It's a tradition for the deceased. I think they’ve already received their fair share of drachma for Charon. He's the riverman who guides souls across the afterlife, not the Styx mech soldiers."

"Yeah, I know. We named them after him," Idia's voice dripped with something close to sarcasm. "Still, I'm not seeing the issue."

 Their senior looked positively pink at the thought of having Grim for the whole day, not sparing them as a glance as the werebeast was piled on his lap. Yuu couldn't help but pity the disaster that was awaiting after the fact, given their gremlin's arsonist streak in the middle of a sea of delicate tech, but that was the least of their concerns. Easily pushed back to the 'I'll probably worry about it later when it bites me in the butt' section.

"The last time I saw my dad, it was the solstice before we found out that a war was coming and my dead great-grandpapa was coming back to life," Yuu said. "He just — shows up! Out of nowhere! And…yeah, he explained why he couldn't come before but...still it…I still…ugh.."

They threw a pillow over their head to muffle the screams. Most of the drink was gone now, leaving onto the sad empty shell of aluminum.

"Feelings are so stupid," Idia said. Yuu didn’t disagree. "Look, normie, I have no idea what you're going through. And frankly, I don't care —"

"And after everything I've done for you? Rude."

"Yeah, yeah. Ortho's better at this anyways, shoulda gone to him. But, like, are we going to ignore the elephant forever?" Idia scratched Grim behind the ears. "Are we just going to ignore the parallel existence of the same pantheon in both worlds?? What are the implications of that??? Are they the same? Different???"

Yuu shrugged. "I dunno. Gods are gods."

"Not helping," Idia said. "This is some S-class existential stuff right here! You can't just say they're gods and end the conversation. Don't you care about the lore?!"

"Not really a priority," Yuu shrugged.

Idia's hair flickered with orange and reds as he frantically went through theories, completed with holographic images of way too many cartoonised naked dudes in togas, as he spiralled through the crisis of faith or whatever this was. He looked and sounded like someone who had thought way more about it than Yuu had.

"What happens when two of them meet?" Idia asked frantically. "The apocalypse??"

"That's dramatic. So, maybe," Gods did love their drama after all. Idia looked even paler than his usual shade of never having seen the light of day. "It might be a split personality thing. Like with the Roman Gods, where their primary aspects collide against each other."

"Roman Gods?" Idia wheezed.

"Yeah, they're the same-ish pantheon but the Romans are an entirely different civilisation or maybe a descending civilisation of the Greeks, I'm no historian so don't take that as the gospel truth. Anyways, there was a big problem a while back where we had to team up with the Roman Camp of Demigods  —  I think they're called Camp Jupiter? Their boss, Octavian or something, really sucked. Can't believe I'm kind of maybe related to him — and then fought the planet."

"The…the planet."

"Yup."

"As in, like Twisted Wonderland, the entire globe?"

Yuu made a so-so hand gesture. "More or less. Mother Earth — don't look at me like that, names have power and I don't want to see her ever again if I can help it — wanted to wake up from her nap and kill everyone. Uhh…I'm pretty sure most people are alive. At least, that's what dad said. We just fought a small war against her and her kids."

"Wait," Idia held up a gesture for surrender. "War? Like as in battles and TPK and boss raids? You fought against a GOD?!"

"We won a war against a god," Yuu smiled, closing their eyes and imagining the parade that the camp would have held afterwards — flowing drinks, laughter abound, cloud nymphs serving the most delicious of banquets, and Mr D still brooding about the alcohol ban. "Twice. The first time was against Kronos, though he's a titan and I guess you can call Gai— Earth Mama a Protogenoi. But like, it's all gods. History really repeats itself, and it sucks."

"You guys fought Time and won??" Idia's jaw unhinged, like a snake trying to swallow a particularly large rat. His hair fizzled sporadically with confused navy and nervous yellows.

"Yeah, you could say we were really killing time with that one," They said. "It was…such a long war, too. Officially, it lasted around four or five years. Unofficially, I think it's been brewing since the end of World War Two or something with the Great Prophecy and all."

"…are you doing okay?"

"Yeah," They said, maybe lying maybe not. "Probably. Can I get another drink? I don't want to be alone right now."

When Apollo had said he'd be there by sunrise, he really did mean when the sun rose.

Yuu barely cracked open their eyelids before golden light flooded the room and there, in the center of their homey little Victorian bedroom, was the god himself. Phoebus Apollo. Or rather, Lester Papadopoulos.

He'd taken on the form of the teenage boy shoved as a god into a body of flesh and blood, cursed to take on the emperors of the ancient civilisation of Rome, who also owned a multi-billion dollar empire funding several wars apparently. Apollo stared awkwardly at their form, still wrapped into fluffy blankets stolen from Pomefiore and swaddled in soft, dalmatian spotted PJs from Professor Crewel's stash of 'spares'. (They've not seen the Professor since the interview on Parent's Day and quite frankly they have no idea how to approach him with any sense of decorum without breaking down crying, which would have ruined his coat.)

"Uhh. I should make breakfast!" The god said, speed walking out the room, flakes of gold following as his divinity crept up from under the mortal façade. "Crepes and nutella right?"

"Yes!" Yuu exclaimed, old habits possessing them like phantoms. "How did…"

"Elio would order the same thing every time," A fond smile crossed his face. "I always told him it was a health disaster to have dessert every morning but no…He's so lucky I blessed him to never have cavities."

"Wait, you did? That explains so much," Yuu shared his smile. Their papa was one common ground, at least. Even if they sometimes dreaded the unspoken insinuations of their conception. "I'll be down in ten!"

"Take your time," Apollo said. "We have all day!"

They stuffed their usual twenty minute routine into five minutes of frantic teeth-brushing, flossing, tossing on some cleanser, SPF and moisturizer (courtesy of Vil) and calling it a day as they scrambled into the closet to steal some clothes. They'd regret it later, if Vil ever found out about them missing the other eight or ten steps, but that was something for future Yuu to stress about.

Present Yuu scrambled down the staircase, tripping over the ghosts that flocked pass who looked like they had seen ghosts, flurrying away in a nervous cluster of questions and half-hearted concerns tossed their way. When they made it to the kitchen, Yuu had to do a double take. And then again, because surely Ramshackle had never been this…shiny. Ever.

Everything was spotless, wiped down with no towel stains or misplaced dust bunnies, practically mirror-like in the reflectiveness of the antique wood drawers and new-looking countertops. Apollo, still looking like a sixteen year old, was wearing a frilly pink apron that Yuu had seen too many times on Elio for it to be a coincidence, embroidered with the motif of Icarus falling from the sky and 'I Can Relate To Questionable Life Decisions' on the front pocket.

"Good timing," Apollo was using a pure gold pan to cook the crepes, which could not have been practical. "I just finished cleaning up and stuff. Or well, the cloud nymphs did."

Yuu looked around for said cloud nymphs, who were on the window sill in the form of little birds, chirping happily. Their bodies were slightly wispy and they moved as if larger than themselves, wanting to shift and mold into completely different constructs.

"Thank you, cloud nymphs," They said. The nymphs seemed to appreciate the praise, given how their feathers puffed up eagerly. A small flock nestled onto Yuu's hair as they made their way over to the dining table, a usually sad-looking antique from Diasomnia with little dragons carved into the table legs, which now transformed into a very shiny silver structure that revealed the hints of rubies and emeralds embedded into the structure. Yuu hoped they were fake and Malleus didn't accidentally hand them a national treasure again.

Small chirps accompanied as Apollo set down the crepes, and the birds preened their locs happily, making them feel like a real fairy tale princess. Or Silver.

"How are the crepes?" Apollo asked eagerly as they bit into the fluffy-looking layers of goodness. It melted into their mouth with the ease of butter, flavour exploding like a sweet fountain of delish desserty-ness.

"Ish vewy gwood," Yuu's voice was muffled by chewing. It was much easier to manage conversations with a good amount of sugar in the system, they were learning. Their shoulders untensed and something resembling a fluffy veil of domesticity layered across the scene. "Fank kyuu dad."

"Don't bite your tongue," He said, chiding like a mirror of Elio. Yuu swallowed down the crepes, wiping the smudges away from their lips with a napkin.

Apollo had turned away from them, facing out the window where the four horses which drew the sun chariot were eagerly peeking in. He held out a hand, which sparkled with sunlight, and golden apples appeared, glittering and enchanted. The horses neighed in response and devoured their treats, as Yuu's dad chuckled fondly, petting their fiery manes.

He glanced back briefly. "Do you have any burning questions still? I'd be happy to answer."

"Who was the pregnant one?" Yuu blurted out.

"Oh, that was me," Apollo said casually. "For like two seconds. I just did a little…" He mimicked snapping his fingers, light dancing around the room playfully. "And that's how babies are made."

"Well, now I know why you're not the god of childbirth," Yuu said.

Apollo laughed. "Honestly, the first time I saw a woman pregnant and found out she had to carry for nine months, I thought she was cursed."

"Like your mother?"

"Yeah," Apollo said. "Any more crepes?"

"Yes, please," Their plate flashed with light, revealing another batch of freshly made crepes just as delicious as the first. "I heard you let Thalia drive the sun chariot?"

If it was possible for a god to look sick, then Apollo definitely nailed it. "You're not doing that until you're at least twenty one."

"So you’d let me drive if I survive that long?"

"You will survive so much longer than just that," Apollo said resolutely, an unwavering firmness in his gaze. "But you're not driving without a full license."

"Would the chariot even be registered?"

Apollo shrugged. "Sure. I can make that happen. Don't eat too fast, Yuu. I can make more if you want."

Yuu finished off the crepes, licking the fork clean. "I'm good. Full. Do you have everything for the shrouds?"

"Of course I do."

"Great," Yuu said, pushing away from the table and standing up. The nymphs flew away, disappearing into cloud puffs. "Then let's head to the lake."

It's a good thing gods didn't need sleep because Apollo had yet to rest for the past week. Ever since finding Yuu's prayers, he'd been splitting apart and putting himself together doing anything and everything in his power to make a pathway between the worlds, practicing good dad monologues in front of his mirror and generally trying not to break down into tears thinking about his own ineptitudes. 

"Watch out," Yuu said, as Apollo nearly got smacked by another branch.

He took the antics of the local nymphs (or fairies, as they seemed to be called in this world) in stride. Burning down a forest would not be good for a first bonding trip. Probably. Apollo's pretty sure that depended on the kid (Kayla would probably love some arson) and Yuu was not one for wanton destruction.

The trail to the lake which Yuu had mentioned was off the beaten path. Apparently, a friend of theirs — described very succinctly as the 'mushroom-obssessed mafioso eel' — had taken them to the lake on a hike in the past. Apollo wondered if a shovel talk was necessary. He'd run around mafia circles before with the whole 'if you're making my kids sleep with fishes, then you're never seeing the sunlight again' deal. And of course, if said eel — or anyone else — had certain inclinations then…

Well, Apollo could be a pretty dam good wingman. Or their worst nightmare if they even thought about hurting his kid. And he would know if they did. 

'Look at you, regular parent of the year,' He thought sarcastically. What right did he even have to be thinking like this? Apollo not-so-subtly glanced at the scars making Yuu's body as they travelled through the thicket and wondered how to ask to heal them. Would they want that? Or were their scars another trophy?

He doesn't know. He hates that too. Apollo wonders if being in a sixteen year old body is damaging his social capacity because right now? He feels like ants are crawling up his spine and just waiting for the slightest slip-up before making a mockery of him in front of Yuu. 

"We're here," Yuu called out.

 Apollo hopped down from his branch and peered out pass the tree into the clearing of lake. An impressive view appeared in his vision, with a small cliff overlooking the ocean, but a totally disconnected lake sitting in the middle surrounded by what appeared to be old ruins. It appears to be an artificial lake with a perfectly round trim and too-smooth curves, but life was in abundance; foliage and waterlilies overgrowing across the water's surface. Frogs hopped around, catching flies with their long tongues, and fish darted to and fro the coverage of lily pads to hide from nearby birds.

The two of them set up a small picnic blanket where Apollo set out the pyre-building materials and shrouds. This sort of handiwork was more in Athena's domain, but Apollo had some worshippers as a god of crafts, so it was hardly challenging. Still, he glanced over at Yuu, who looked frustrated with their…attempts at a shroud.

"Hopeless…" They grumbled in frustration, hands trembling as they tried to salvage the mess of sticks and ribbons.

"Don't force it," Apollo advised. He took their hand, adjusting the position to prevent the splinters. "Atlan would love this."

"He would," Yuu smiled, so small yet as bright as a supernova. "This was for Eliana."

"Oh." 

"She'd hate it," Yuu laughed. Apollo wondered if he sounded like this when talking about Arty; hopelessly fond. His godly reputation may never recover from it. "But yeah, Atlan would like this mess."

"It's not a mess. Just very creative," Apollo said. Yuu gave him a disbelieving side-ways glance. "Okay, okay. I get it, making shrouds may not be your strong suit, but you know what is?"

He summoned a lyre.

"Music?"

He affectionately bopped them on the forehead, feeling the familiar presense of oracularity. "And prophecies, apparently. I heard about all those dreams you had, and the gut feelings? My children haven't inherited that kind of foresight for…centuries, maybe."

"That's nice," Yuu said flatly.

"They're confusing, aren't they?"

"Very. I keep seeing them as allegories, I think. Cartoon characters of all things," Yuu said. "There was the Queen of Hearts, the King of Beasts — who was an actual lion for some reason — the Sea Witch, the Sorcerer of the Sands, the Beautiful Queen, Hades but like if he was a shady cars salesman and had blue fire for hair, and the Thorn Fairy. It's all been related to the Overblot situation, like some crazy Aesop or something, and I'm wondering…is it really the end? What if something worst is coming?"

Apollo stayed quiet. He dug around for the threads of their fate, unsure what he'd uncover and hoping — praying — for the best. His godly heart tightened at the way the threads evaded his grasp. "I don't know. My powers are limited here so, only time will tell."

"Not Grandpa Time, I hope. Had enough of him for a lifetime."

"No, not him," Apollo laughed. "Never again. I'd slay him myself should he rise before he could hurt any of you."

His bow glowed warmly in his quiver at the challenge, and Apollo knew that he wasn't making an empty threat either. If another war came up, he wouldn't (couldn’t) stand back letting it play out like another saga for the heroes to fix. Even if his power was limited, even if the sun crashed and burned, Apollo would at least do something. Zeus and his punishments be damned.

"I hope it's over," Yuu said. "But I can't help but feel like it's not. Like I'm still meant to be fighting or preparing and I don't know what I would be doing it for."

They looked so small. Every mortal looked small in a god's perspective, he supposed, but the way Yuu curled up like a shrimp made every recently awakened parental instinct rear its head, trying to think of solutions to make them not sad. Not scared.

"The offer is still open," Apollo said. "I can take you to camp anytime you want."

"Would I be able to come back?"

"Here?" Apollo glanced at the dark campus at the top of the mountain. "It's…complicated. But I can make it work."

They levelled him a flat look. "Complicated."

"There are certain forces at play here."

"The other pantheon," Yuu's eyes lit over with understanding. Pride settled in his chest at their intelligence, the voice that sounded suspiciously like Arty in his head saying that this was definitely coming from Elio's side of the gene pool.

"I want to visit," Yuu said. "Just…not now. School is still going on, you know? And…summer vacation is coming, so it'd be the perfect time to visit. How is everyone back home anyways?"

"Great!" Apollo said. "Did you know Nico and Will got together? Oh, Austin has a recital coming up too! Kayla's trying for nationals in archery, and she's the best in her age group. Not to mention—"

"Dad," Yuu said. "Did you say Will Solace and Nico Di Angelo are a thing? Like, couple and stuff?"

He couldn't read their expression.

"Yes?"

"Oh my gods," Yuu's face split into an almost dastardly grin. "Lux owes me even more drachma! I knew Will was crushing on Nico! Good for them! I can't wait to see them at Camp!"

Apollo choked on air.

"Dad. What is with that look?"

"Well…Uhh…"

Did they get that glare from him or Elio because it was practically glacial.

"Dad."

"Iforgottomentionbutthey'reinTartarusrightnow!!"

"Say what now?"

Chapter Text

"They're such idiots. Will tells me not to pull anything reckless and he does this! That hypocrite!" Yuu held their head in their hands, hoping it wasn’t about to split into infinitesimal pieces because that's certainly what it felt like. "I can't believe him. He's supposed to be the level headed one! Who's going to do that now? Kayla? Mr D would turn all of us into dolphins!"

Apollo held out his hand awkwardly, looking torn between running away and being somewhat parental. Yuu leaned toward him, a warm hand patting their back in rhythmic motions. Their dad gave them a long pause of silence to digest the new information that their older brother was an idiot. Maybe demigods experienced early onset dementia? Repeated head trauma finally catching up to him? That seemed like the most reasonable explanation for whatever in Hades' name that Will had been thinking, jumping with his boyfriend down a cliff and into literal Tartarus.

A child of the sun in the most sun-deprived, living embodiment of all that was dark and not to mention monster-infested place on the planet. What dunderheaded, dullard, ignoramus and other synonyms for being complete idiots were those lummoxes thinking?

Yuu inhaled, held it for five, exhaled. 

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for," Dad said quickly. "It was their decision to save a friend and I've helped out…as much as I can anyway. The underworld is seriously out of my purview."

That certainly didn't brighten their spirits.

"Just…you said that Rachel gave them a prophecy," Yuu said. "But it wasn't yours."

Dad nodded, equally frustrated. His brow was pinched and eyes narrowed to the floor. It struck them as remarkably Will Solace whenever a particularly nasty patient would come in. "I don't get it either. Usually, I can tell when someone is tampering with my oracles, especially if it's the Fates or…but this, well, it was unusual. As if someone had…tampered with her before and was using it as a backdoor."

"Like in coding?"

"Yeah, like that," Apollo said. "The only one I can think of who can do that is…well, um, he's a bit of a recluse and certainly quite the, ahem, character. But I haven't been able to pin a motive for it."

"Umm…would this mystery suspect be interested in killing demigods?"

"Wha- oh, no," Apollo assured, quite unconvincingly. He was just as bad a liar as Yuu was, which would be a comforting thought at any other time. "Uhhh…probably? Maybe? Potentially? They should…probably..be fine.."

"Okay," Yuu said flatly. "Is there anything I can do for them? Besides diving into Tartarus myself and calling them both idiots. That sounds like something Percy would do but I don't have his main character plot armor, so we'd probably all die if I did that."

"Yeah, definitely don't pull a Percy Jackson on me," Apollo said. "Did you know he got into New Rome University? Sally told me all about it over her seven-layer-dip, which is also fantastic, practically ambrosial, I should take you over some time-"

"I've had Sally's dip before, dad." And they agreed. It was heavenly. Even better than ambrosia sometimes. "Her house is practically a safe zone for demigods travelling by New York. She always has a spare guest room."

"I- that makes sense actually," Dad looked thoughtful. "Oh, have you heard of Estelle?"

"Who?"

"Percy's little sister!"

"Wha- Poseidon had another!?"

"No! Sally did."

"Oh thank the gods," Yuu sighed. "Sally had another kid with…Paul, right? Percy's new stepdad? Paul Blowfish? Any, um, problems in that department?"

Dad shook his head, much to their relief. "They all seemed pretty happy last I saw. Annabeth and Percy are moving to San Francisco though, so it'd be hard for them to keep in touch."

"Good for them," Yuu said. "Isn't that where the Roman Camp is?"

Dad nodded tentatively. The motto 'yesterday's enemy is today's friend' was quite apparent from their dad's stories, even if Yuu could scarcely believe it when they hadn't seen it at all. The Roman platoon who had invaded camp, led by some kid named Octavian and his belt of decapitated plush toys, were still fresh in their head as enemy territory.

For now, at least, Yuu could ignore that. It wasn't like they were dealing with a present-in-this-world threat like, say, Royal Sword Academy, so the issue was easy to let go of.

Gods, they felt like a wreck. And they seriously did not want to have another panic attack over the hypothetical idiocy of friends and family members on such a nice Sunday afternoon. 

A distraction was needed. 

"Hey dad," Yuu said. "If…if I said I wanted to go somewhere…hypothetically, could we take the sun chariot?"

"Sure, it just depends on the destination," Dad said, snapping his fingers. They heard galloping in the distance, accompanied by the familiar warmth and flickering of fiery manes. "Aeos has been wanting a workout, so shoot as far as you want."

Yuu grinned. "Let's go to Fleur City!"

"I have no idea where that is."

Without the hustle and bustle of the Halloween season, Topsy-Turvy Square was a quaint collection of vendors and performers on a brisk Sunday afternoon, hawking wares of 'rare' treasure for would-be tourists and pedestrians.

Having gotten a ride on the fastest chariot in existence, literally circling the globe in a matter of 24 hours, Yuu stumbled through the town center with all the grace of an infant giraffe, hair sticking out as if they'd been caught in a nasty hurricane. The horses had descended pass the bell tower and into the waterways, which lingered with the overly perfumed scent of florals for tourists to cover up the dankness of wastage and mold. Thanks to their dad, Yuu had managed not to hurl all over Fleur City's magnificent river.

"Feeling better?" Dad asked, passing them golden goblet.

They took a tentative sip, noting the slightly sweet scent and refreshing taste of pomegranate and berries, as if someone had bottled springtime.

"It's Ganymede's special, Olympus #78," He explained. "Extra gentle, no chance of accidental spontaneous combustion, and delicious."

Yuu agreed wholeheartedly. "Ganymede, ganymede…He's the cupbearer of Olympus, right? Zeus kidnapped him in eagle form and turned him into a god."

"Yeah, that's him," Apollo said. "He does his job well, even if he's a bit scatterbrained and well, eternally a teenager."

They winced, the aftertaste of the drink a slight bit bitter. That sounded like an eternal, demented torture rather than a blessing. They couldn't imagine being a teenager forever because, well, it sucked. They couldn't really imagine living to adulthood either.

"Looks like that booth has a few good prizes," Apollo said, pointing to a carnie-style red-and-white stall. There was a back row of targets, surrounded by haybales, as well as giggling children and boyfriends showing off to their significant other. The archery was amateurish, about the same quality as the bows, which already looked halfway to snapping.

They exchanged knowing looks with their dad, knowing that, for all intents and purposes, the God of Archery losing this type of carnie game would be ludicrous.

"Would you two like to play?" The stall owner was a lanky street performer dressed in a blue-and-purple jester suit with a yellow neckpiece that frilled out like a star with bells at the end. He had black gloves and a hat like Rook's, feather and all, but his was the brightest shade of purple from what they assumed was the dollar store. The man had shoulder-length hair and a bit of stubble, though half his face was hidden under an equally bright domino mask.

"No, just my kid," Dad winked at them.

"Eh? You're not playing?"

"No point when you can win the prizes all by yourself," He ruffled their hair, having shifted back to his taller, blonder form and easily passing off as parental figure rather than the distant cousin look of Lester Papadopoulos.

"Oh ho! You seem quite confident," The street vendor cheered. "I like that! Step right up, kid! Show us what you've got!"

Yuu walked over to the line of bows, fiddling with Nisiotikta and wondering if a magical demigod weapon was considered cheating. Probably, right? They took the far left one, which looked marginally less likely to break, noting the uneven weight distribution and poor maintenance.

The vendor signalled for them to shoot as money changed hands. 

Wind was going east. Target was roughly ten meters away. Easy peasy. There wasn't even a lava wall in the way. 

They let the arrow fly, hitting its mark. And again, and again.

"Ten bullseyes!" The vendor wiped his eyes, taking off his mask, blinking at them again and then at the target. Part of Yuu was prepared for the man to rip off his suit revealing a body made of tentacles or exploding into a million murderous birds. Instead, the man pulled out a party popper that exploded with streamers. "Congratulations! I've never seen such skill like that before! Tell me, have you considered professional archery?"

"Uhh…" Does killing people and/or monsters count as professional? "Not in any official capacity."

"That would be such a shame!" The man cried, pulling out a business card. "Tell you what, whenever you feel like competing in the big leagues, give me a call. My friend, Robyn, is a big time archer. He'd be delighted to find such talent!"

"I'm..flattered?"

Dad strode up behind them, taking the card. "We'll keep it in mind. Thank you, good sir. Now, for the prizes?"

"Call me Clopin V, please," The man said. "Or just Clopin! I'll bring them out right away, folks!"

The big prizes were a three pack of giant, supposedly life sized, gargoyle plushies that had to be sealed into Apollo's godly sub-space dimension. They were all different sizes and shapes and supposedly named after the ancient gargoyles on the bell tower; Victor, Laverne and Hugo. Immediately, Yuu knew exactly who they would be giving away the prizes to.

Having made their way pass another few stalls hawking the most delicious streetfood, Yuu was content to settle into a quieter part of the square. And to their surprise, a familiar face was on the ground nearby, praying.

It seemed to be Rollo's way of nursing a headache, which was evidently caused by wayward Noble Bell students arguing nearby over what appeared to be a goat who had stolen their banana split ice-cream and bacon stuffed between two bagels sandwich combo. To each their own. 

"You again," Rollo regarded them with mild interest, getting up from his position on the grass. "The magicless prefect of Ramshackle…without their usual entourage I see. Have you finally tired of those fools?"

Yuu shrugged. "Nah, I'm stuck with them. I just came here with my dad."

The sun reappeared from behind the cloudy day, feeling particularly bright. It's a good thing Apollo's children are immune to sunburns, so they didn't need extra sunscreen, but Rollo evidently did. 

He glared at the sky like it was the most hideous monster imaginable. 

"My condolences for your situation," Rollo said flatly. "I'd offer a place at Noble Bell Academy, however, my previous filing has been firmly rejected by your Headmage for whatever reason. Now, your father, he is that…bard performing the most…interesting poems, is he not?"

They turned to find their dad engaged in a rather intense clash of words with a woman dressed in a poets shirt and mix-matched skirt. She had curled black hair tied back with a handerkerchief and synced her poem to the beat of her tambourine.

Dad, on the other hand, was holding his own with…haikus.

"I don't know him," They lied.

Rollo, evidently, did not believe them. "I feel a strange…energy about him. Akin to magic and yet…otherworldly at the same time. If I had to liken it to something…" The student president of Noble Bell glanced over to a large statue carved to look like an angel with wings and a halo, dropping a deformed baby. "I rescind my statement. It would be blasphemous."

"…blasphemous?" Yuu chuckled. "I'll take it. How have you been since the whole…Halloween thing?"

Twisted Wonderland Catholicism, or the twisted equivalent, was one topic they'd yet to study in detail. They'd discussed it with Crewel occasionally, wondering how anyone believed in monotheism when mythical figures like the Greek Pantheon were somewhat present (and very twisted) into the weirdly sanitised version of the myths they recognised.

"You mean when you lot allowed me to get away with restoring an extinct species of mage-killing flowers in order to assassinate the prince of the Briar Valley and nearly causing the death of hundreds upon thousands of magic users?" Rollo asked dryly. Ever the blunt one, though no less crafty. "Quite well, actually."

"Any more assassination plots in our future?"

"Quite a few, yes."

"Just don’t get caught. It would be a bureaucratic nightmare."

"Oh, please," Rollo rolled his eyes, a hint of mirth in his ghost of a smile. "I am not one of your common schemers at Night Raven College. If I were to hypothetically cause the extinction of magic, none of you would be able to stop me."

They stared at him.

Rollo broke first. "…again."

They patted his back, knowing the traces of jest behind his words. It wasn't like he couldn’t pull another stunt like that, he just wouldn't. Rollo was probably (hopefully, they needed friends that held more than one brain cell) going to learn from his mistakes and go the devious route; long and political and making his own agenda foggier than a cold morning at sea. Something like the Glorious Masquerade would be a risk that no sane man could avoid, and Rollo was arguably the most sane of their acquaintances (with only one count of serious mental breakdowns).

"It was nice seeing you," Yuu said. "Now, I should save the crowd from having to endure more haikus."

"A regular hero, aren't you, Prefect?"

"Not really." 

 A small crowd had formed around their dad and the poet woman. She was even prettier up close, with a full figure and alluring eyes, a very, very dangerous combination with a Greek god. Yuu hoped the outcome of this particular meeting wouldn't be another sibling. Regular demigods had enough problems. What about one born of a woman from a separate dimension? 

Besides, Yuu squinted at the woman's tambourine-playing hand. She was married. While that had literally never stopped a Greek God before, Yuu hoped their presence would mitigate the chance of accidental babies that could be dimensional anomalies dooming the world as they knew it.

They pulled out their lyre and strummed a few chords for the crowd.

Dad grinned as they approached. "Little light of dawn, child of mine and Celeste, what are you doing?"

"Musical accompaniment."

They got between him and the woman, keeping the two a good meter or two apart so any accidental hand holding would be loathe to occur. And yes, they were well aware that babies weren't made by holding hands conventionally, but have you considered how those conventions worked for Greek Gods? Maybe they could reproduce through eye contact and sperm in the hands. It was completely plausible. Gross, nonsensical and 'dear lord why would you do that' levels of crazy. But plausible. 

"What a darling little musician! Are they yours?" The woman asked.

"Yep!" Dad ruffled their hair again. "Shall we perform for real, Ms Esmerelda?"

"Of course!" She tapped her tambourine in an energetic beat. Yuu matched it with their lyre. 

Dad pulled out his own instrument; a fusion of a music box and old-timey phonograph, layered with copper wire, like multiple sets of guitar strings, crisscrossed inside the funnel. There were rows of striking pins connected to levers on the outside of the cone, which was fixed to a square metal base with a bunch of crack handles.

"…what is that?" Yuu asked.

"The Valdezinator!" Dad beamed. "I think I've just about mastered it!"

Well, Yuu thought as the music picked up alongside the atmosphere of the crowd, it wasn't the worst instrument they'd ever seen. They spotted Rollo by the shaded fringes of the dancing, completely sour-faced like a red version of the Grinch stuck in Whoville. With so much attention, they eyed the old ladies with carefree twirls and spry men with enough pep in their step to power a city, wondering if any demonic birds or one-eyed giants would start to appear.

None did. 

Soon enough, Yuu was lost in the music.

"Child of Man," Malleus Draconia greeted them with a smile. He standing on the fringes of Ramshackle Dorm as they trekked through the darkened walkways leading through the spooky side of campus where their once decrepit cesspit of a home resided on the most creepy, Tim Buton-esque hill. At his side, having fallen asleep against the stone fence, was their smallest but most dependable companion, Grim. "You are rather late to return. Was there any trouble that arose during your expedition?"

Yuu smiled sheepishly. "We, uh, lost track of time." And timezones, they neglected to say.

"Understandable," Malleus nodded with the seriousness of someone who truly understood their predicament. "I, too, struggle with measuring the passage of time. Especially shorter increments. It can be quite…a nuisance."

The princely frown on his face was ethereal under the silver moonlight, like the dragon boy was chemically designed to be the most attractive person in any room. It made Yuu feel inadequate and, sometimes though very rarely, wondering if he could rival a male Aphrodite…a thought they would never, ever, under any circumstances entertain out loud. EVER.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on my lil rascal while I was gone," Yuu picked up their feline companion, who made token protests before napping again in their arms. He had gotten heavier lately, probably due to their excessive spoiling with premium tuna cans. Those big blues of his were a real dangerous weapon. "How was your Parents Day, Tsunotarou? I hadn't gotten the chance to meet your grandmother…again, that is. In a casual setting, at least."

"It proceeded as usual," Malleus said, though his fangs peeked out from the force of his smile. "This is the first year that Lilia had not posed as my guardian."

"Well, he's basically your dad, isn't he?"

Malleus coughed, turning away, no doubt blushing in embarrassment. "We do share a close bond that could be interpreted as familial. He has been the source of much wisdom over the years."

Yuu chuckled at his sudden shyness.

"Enough," Malleus let out an embarrassed hiss, his forked tongue flickering out. His draconian (or, as described by one Leona Kingscholar, lizard) side was showing up more and more lately since they'd become closer friends in the aftermath of, well, everything. Trauma bond and all that. "Speaking of fatherly figures, I heard an interesting rumor about yours…"

"Which one did you hear?"

"That he is pregnant."

Yuu choked on their spit. "WHY WAS IT THAT ONE!?"

They rocked Grim back and forth to make sure he hadn't woken up, but their companion was still conked out like a log. But seriously, where did that rumor even come from? 

"It was the most absurd one," Malleus smirked with all the teasing intent of a fae. "Ahem, on a more serious note, I heard that your father is of…divine lineage."

"…yeah," Yuu said, shifting from disbelief to their usual bubbly, i-never-plan-revenge-out-loud cheer. "He's the god Apollo, that makes me a demigod."

Malleus' fangs peeked out again from his grin. "How very fascinating."

"That reminds me," Yuu stuck a hand into their sun-shaped bag, pulling out Victor, Laverne and Hugo. "I thought you might like these."

Dragons, like lizards, apparently squeak to show happiness. Immediately, he was noting down the textures and appearances mimicked by the fabric and the stitches and the structure. Even as Malleus tried to remain his usual regal princely self, his tail was swooshing around like an excited corgi, green eyes narrowed on the gifts as if they were the finest pile of gold.

"I will treasure this gift immensely," Malleus confirmed, his magic swirling around the stuffed gargoyles in green streaks. Dirt and lint immediately flew off the gargoyles, who looked like they had been through the gentlest round of dry cleaning, and were absolutely spotless. "You have my sincerest gratitude, Yuu."

"No problem," They said.

A bout of sleepiness overtook them with a gaping yawn. Thank god the tweels weren't around to tease them about it.

"Before you head off," Malleus said. "I had a question regarding your demigod status."

"Shoot."

"Does it perhaps effect your life span?" Malleus asked. "The union of an immortal and mortal would surely prolong your own mortality, would it not?"

A laugh escaped them.  "Honestly, I'd be lucky to make it pass twenty! Most of my siblings died when they were fourteen or fifteen, though, so I'm already doing better than them!"

Grim rolled around in their arms, snoring loudly.

"That's my cue to head off," Yuu said, rocking their little furball a little more. "See you tomorrow Tsunotarou. Sweet dreams."

Had they not been in such a rush to pass out on their bed, Yuu might not have missed the unnaturally green lightning that rolled in from nowhere.

"You left us on a cliffhanger!" Ace pointed an accusatory finger at them as Yuu made their way to their homeroom seat.

"Wow. Straight into it? No, hey Yuu how was your weekend? Did you have a good sleep?" They remarked sarcastically. Grim hopped down from their shoulder onto the desk, where he had his own mini chair (a small bag repurposed as a beanbag because he was too short for the regular chairs).

"How did you sleep?" Deuce asked from over Ace's shoulder. "You look more glow-y than usual. Uhh, not to say you look bad usually but.."

"I get it," They smiled wryly. "I got a pretty decent ten hours actually. That bonding trip with dad really tuckered me out. I just passed out when I got back."

"Sheesh," Ace said. "Did ya finish the homework?"

"…we had homework?"

A whip snapped as their attention shot over to Professor Crewel, looking as unimpressed as ever, but starting roll-call nonetheless.

Fifteen minutes later, they were well on their way to first period when Crewel had, once again, snatched them back into homeroom with the most contrastingly done expression on his young face.

"How was your weekend?" He asked. "I hear your father set Crowley's hat on fire."

"Uhh-"

"The old crow deserved it," Crewel continued. "But the tendency for magical mischief seems to be a running theme in this household." They looked away sheepishly. "Given your status now, I would suggest you be more mindful of how you conduct yourself."

"My…status?"

"I'm unsure of how it is in your world, but in Twisted Wonderland, demigods are rather…prestigious," Crewel said. "And rare. Olympus rarely meddles in the affairs of mortals and the presence of another world entirely is…well, I believe with the rumors, many are making assumptions. Half-truths and deceits, at best, but they will affect how you are perceived, pup."

"I know."

"Good boy," Crewel ruffled their hair. Yuu leaned into the touch, knowing that the professor wouldn't settle for anything less than fixing them up all neat and tidy before long. "The old crow will no doubt bemoan this and butter you up as damage control or whatnot. Don't let him get to you."

"I don't…plan to?"

 It certainly wouldn't be any worse than being the go-to errand boy for the Headmage. Maybe, if they were lucky, they'd have enough free time to join a club.

"Have you thought of your future plans after graduation?" Crewel asked. "Given your incompatibility with this world's magic system, you'd be rather limited, even with a degree from Night Raven College."

"I…I haven't thought about it, honestly," Yuu said. "I've just been trying to stay alive." Like usual. "I've never thought that far. I thought…Crowley would just find a way for me to get home and, well, technically I can go home but.."

"Given what you've told me about your world, I would rather you not," Crewel said frankly. "No offence intended but your descriptions sound like a nightmare. I'd rather not have it weighing on my conscience that one of my pups could die before they can enjoy a fine drink."

"Still…" Yuu said weakly. "I don't belong here."

"And who dictates that?" Crewel snapped his whip. "You are the only one who can dictate what you do, where you belong, and whom you want to be. Not even the gods can tell you otherwise, pup."

Their vision was warm and blurry. Yuu brushed their tears away, knowing better than to know weakness when eavesdroppers were plentiful. "…thank you. I still don’t know what I want to do but…I think I do want to make a place here."

"You will always have one, if that's the case," Crewel said. "And clear your calendar for this Saturday. I'll be taking you shopping in Port Town for some more acceptable attire other than the same old uniform and button-ups. At least then the crow won't be bemoaning it all day." 

Warmth flooded their chest. "That sounds great, da- Sir."

Crewel patted their head. "Head on off, pup. Your friends are waiting."

The back alleys of New York City were a familiar sight for Apollo.

He'd see them constantly from the 600th floor of the Empire State Building, and they were just as unpleasant from the ground as they were from sky-high elevations. Still, there was a hominess and distinctly human presence to the grime and graffiti. He made it pass quite a few out of the way streets before making it to a green door on the side of a small community center, where brick walls were covered in ivy and the door creaked louder than the gallop of his horses.

Inside, a blast of cold air erupted like a barrier had been breached. The interior had sterile hospital lighting, a barely functioning receptionist on the verge of spontaneous combustion via caffeine intake (not a monster, just a sleep-deprived university student) and barely any other guests.

Now, why would Elio be at a place like this?

Apollo waved to the receptionist, who blinked blearily in response, one eye after the other like a lizard. While he was 60% sure she was no amphisbaena or similarly lizard-y creature in disguise, a double check never hurt anyone.

He made his way to the second floor, where a sign in dandelion yellow crayon read 'Parent Support Group Number Seven'. Apollo wasn't sure what he was expecting with a sign like that. A solemn little yarning circle, sharing stories and laughs? Gossiping parents? Diaper tips? 

The door was evidently soundproof, as rock concert levels of music volume blasted the moment he turned the knob.

Apollo shut the door, strutting in as if he totally meant to be there and very thankful that his divine eardrums hadn't ruptured on first blast because the music was rather remarkable in all its eclectic glory. Inside were around two dozen startlingly familiar faces who must have driven in from all around the country. Quite a few were jamming at the karaoke machine which had live instrumental accompaniment with bassists, drummers and triangle players. Some were passed out on the floor, clutching bottles of anything from cheap booze to vintage wine bottles.

A large banner that had once been hung up on the ceiling was now half-fallen with the 'APOLLO FXCKERS CLUB' printed in bold and being desecrated with colored sharpies from a small group of giggly parents.

Only one was sober from what he could see; a familiar presence with that same Texan country smile and sunny blonde hair.

"Naomi Solace?" Apollo took a seat next to Naomi, who was patting a black-haired man puking his guts out into a garbage bag. Even as the god of medicine who had seen literal millennia's worth of blood and puke, he felt pity for the guy.

Naomi glanced over, suspicious. "Aw heck, he got a kid?"

"That blonde motherf…did what now?" The other man drunkenly slurred.

"Uhh…what?"

"Ah. That's not it then," Naomi squinted. "You're not meant to be here, kid. It's a parents support group."

"I was looking for Elio."

The drunk man squinted, tying his hair back into a ponytail and posing like some gangster on the plastic chair of the support group base. "What do you need me for, kid?"

Apollo took a moment to squint, realizing that this was in fact Elio. Only about fifteen years older and through one hell of a burnout. "It's about Euanthe."

"I'm not attending the ceremonial funeral or whatever…" Elio sighed, running his hand through his long hair and wincing in disgust as he pulled out puke chunks. "Didn't I tell your camp director about that?"

"Oh, I wouldn't know," Apollo shrugged. The background had begun chanting a song cursing his name and calling his male reproductive organ small. Which…rude. But he had to applaud the wordplays, they were rather clever.

Elio squinted, leaning a little close for his liking. It was starting to make him feel things again, like the old days, except now it had amplified because the man had definitely aged like fine wine. He looked like a sexy vampire covered in puke and Apollo was suddenly understanding whom Will had inherited his preference in men.

"You sunshine menac-" Elio was always quite creative with expletives. And he had always complained that the English lexicon did not hold nearly enough to express his feelings. That was on full display at the moment, as Apollo was side-eyeing the escape through a precariously opened window nearby.

"Calm down, your blood pressure is gonna explode at this rate," Naomi said. She looked over at Apollo with equal parts fondness and willingness to pull out her bat and bludgeon him to death. "You picked a pretty bad time and place."

"I'm starting to see that…"

The background started chanting curses against his most beloved of poetic structures. Why did all these people hate haikus?

Elio looked over to Naomi and, as if they shared a psychic link, she nodded before distracting the crowd and any would be eavesdroppers with…surprise, surprise, another hate song against him. Apollo wasn't sure what to feel. It felt like a tame version of his six month tenure as a mortal. He wondered if anyone else had a 'parent support group' this…supportive? United in their hatred? 

They made their way to the hallway. Or rather, Elio strode with all the grace of a drunk man to the door and dragged him behind. Apollo got the feeling that they were trying to avoid a witch-hunting mob by dragging him away, which he was not against, given that he would be the witch in that scenario. 

"What do you want?" Elio, having used up every curse known to man, looked drained.

"Nothing," Apollo said. "Well, okay, not nothing, nothing. It's about Euanthe?"

Elio glared, even scarier than Arty, looking like he'd love nothing more than to rip Apollo's throat out with his bare teeth. Something disturbingly common lately, as Apollo had found. Or maybe he was just more aware of such looks and not in complete denial about being anything less than godly. Being more human was…tiring.

"Go on."

"Well, their birthday is coming up, I figured they would want to spend some time with the campers and stuff since it'd be the first day of summer, but I haven't really been able to come up with a good present," Apollo said. "I don't think they'd have a suitor to woe with impressive chariot racing like in the good ole days and I figured you'd be more familiar with-"

"What the hell are you on about?" Elio growled. He looked five seconds away from ordering Apollo's head to be hung on a pike and displayed for the city. "Why do you care now that they're dead and not when-"

The man choked on his own tears. Apollo tried offering tissues, but it was quite adamantly rejected in favor of a torn up sleeve.

Well…Apollo supposed he should have seen this coming. It was a blind spot that had gone under his radar and it was a rather terrible one. If past Apollo of five seconds ago was here, present Apollo would have shoved a sock down his throat.

"They're alive," Apollo said. "The situation is complicated but I can assure you that Euanthe is alive."

Elio stared uncomprehendingly.

"I'm the God of Truth. I wouldn't lie."

Somehow, the father of his child did not look any less murderous. "And that wasn't the FIRST thing you said to me?!"

"Have you heard that viral music video by Phoebus?"

"Ohh they look so cool!"

"Those visuals, man. Who's the editor? Cause damn, I need that kind of guy."

"Is that Vil Schoenheit!?"

"VIL IS THE DIRECTOR!! OMFG!!"

"They have such an amazing voice!"

"Woah those are some big name guests! Al-Asim is a pretty rich family from the Sands, aren't they? Like, royalty-levels of loaded."

"MY GOD I DID NOT NEED ANOTHER HYPERFIXATION!!"

"It's already top charts!"

"Indie music is really starting to blow up, isn't it? This Phoebus is wild."

"It reminds me of like traditional music from the Kingdom of Heroes but like…remixed or something."

"I can't wait to hear their full album!"

"…wait, isn't that teal haired guy they're dancing with a mafia boss?"

"You watch too many dramas! He's clearly the son of a very normal business man from the Coral Sea."

It was supposed to be an ordinary Housewarden meeting; one of the few left before the year's end. The Headmage had excused himself on account of a…hat replacement, as the note said. Nothing else was out of the ordinary. So Riddle Rosehearts was quite perplexed, to say the least, when entering the very normal conference room for their usual Housewarden Meetings once again lands them in Diasomnia's foyer.

"Not again…" Leona growled, eyes prowling around for hints of his arch rival. "Oi, lizard. What's the big idea?"

"I apologise for the discourtesy," Malleus Draconia walks over from the coffee table, piled up with enough books to make Riddle impressed. The assortment of tomes and ancient scrolls formed a small pyramid of knowledge of what Riddle could only assume to be the fae repository of lost sciences and magicks and he wondered if playing his cards right could let him take a peek at the offerings. It would certainly be the fastest way to forgive the indignity of Draconia's antics. "There was a serious matter I wished to bring up and could not risk the chance of missing another meeting."

"Then simply show up at the right place and time," Vil sighed, exasperated. The others chorused mixed agreements, clearly also fed up with the fae's antics.

"That is difficult…"

"Literally how?? Even I can do it!" Tablet-Idia screamed.

"No you don’t," Leona sniped. "You just get Ortho to do it."

The tablet made an assortment of almost comebacks and human computing noises.

"Regardless, if the matter is so urgent," Riddle said. "Then we will entertain this…change of scenery. What was it that you wanted to discuss?"

Malleus ushered them all into the lavish seats of thorn motifs. He took a seat by the head of the table, which few protested, bar token side-eyes and comments from Leona. The Diasomnia Housewarden leaned forwards, hands laced together and posing dramatically as lightning flashed in the background.

 "It concerns the Prefect."

More than anything else, that caught Riddle's attention. It caught all their attention.

"What's wrong with the herbivore?"

"Oh? Did something happen to our dearest benefactor?"

"Ehh? Did they get sick or something? I can ask Jamil to whip up something real nice!"

"What did the potato do this time?"

"Eep…the big boss has gone all serious. What's this hidden level about!?"

Malleus looked considerably nervous, which was rare for someone of his status and stature. His tail flicked to and fro, having not bothered to hide it upon their arrival. More of his draconic elements stood out too; the scrape of claws across the bench, the glimmer of obsidian scales and narrowed slits in his emerald eyes.

It made Riddle uneasy as well. Malleus was widely considered one of the five top mages in the world. Whatever had him so nervous was probably…either incredibly comedic or deeply concerning with little room for in-between.

"On our usual nightly meetings-"

"Your usual what meetings?" Riddle squawked.
 

"Nightly meetings," Malleus said, looking completely oblivious to the obvious impropriety of his words. Had it not been a possible emergency (and the fact that Malleus would be a formidable opponent one-on-one) Riddle would have scolded him for the sheer ignorance. "They informed me of their heritage."

"Right," Leona drawled. "The whole thing about them being a demigod this whole time and never bothering to bring it up? I remember."

"I could scarcely believe it myself," Vil said. "But Rook had been quite assured of his observations."

"But that's not really an emergency, is it?" Azul said, adjusting his glasses so they gleamed dramatically in the lighting. "You have something more to share."

Malleus nodded, looking grave. "When I enquired about their life span…I was…disappointed by the results."

Ah. Riddle supposed learning that a dear friend (or whatever relationship Yuu had with the dragon prince to call him Tsunotarou to his face) could possibly share your long lived life would be rather exciting. Especially with the prince's recently unearthed trauma.

"So what? They live like a normie?" Tablet-Idia said. "Come on, it’s not like it changes anything."

"While humans lives are exceptionally short…" Malleus said. "I had the understanding that the average life expectancy was around a century."

"For the Queendom, the amount is on average 82.06 years," Riddle commented. "Most countries share a similar average around eighty years. The oldest recorded human lived to 122 years."

Malleus nodded, somehow looking grimmer with the knowledge. "When I enquired, Yuu informed me that they would be, in their words, lucky to make it to twenty while most of their siblings had…passed at fourteen or fifteen."

"That…can't be," Vil said.

Kalim looked on the verge of tears. "No….that's so sad! You think they'd want a cracker?"

"What are they, a parrot?" Leona growled, staring Malleus dead in the eyes. "That better not be some kind of sick joke."

"Would I jest about such a thing, Kingscholar?"

"I don't know, would you?"

The lighting between them was heavy and cloying, and quite literally causing a storm outside that Riddle would rather not be caught in. He stomped his scepter onto the cold ground, causing a reverberation like a judge's gavel that thankfully quieted them down without shouting or collars.

Riddle cleared his throat. "If I'm not mistaken, Yuu is in the peak of health. I highly doubt that whatever hypothetical threat to their life is, in that case, due purely to genetic factors."

"T-that's right! Their health scans and medical records don't show any anomalies…except the fact that they didn’t exist a few months ago," Tablet-Idia corroborated. "So if they were to die at twenty like Malleus' said, it'd be from external reasons."

"The same external reason that likely killed their siblings," Azul said.

Kalim looked stricken. "You think they have to deal with assassins too?"

"I highly doubt it's that sim…what do you mean too??" Riddle gaped at the usually sunshiny housewarden. "Is this why Jamil is trained in so many martial arts and poison resistant?" 

"Well, yeah? It's pretty common, isn't it?" Kalim asked. "Besides, if they're a demigod, there's bound to be one or two assassins coming after them."

He…wasn't wrong but… Riddle wasn't sure he wanted to know about Kalim's situation either. The politics of the Scalding Sands were fascinating, certainly, and a larger conundrum than he had originally been anticipating when he had previously given the area's laws a cursory viewing. 

"Moving on," Vil said, looking just as disturbed as Riddle felt. "Rook had brought this to my concern regarding those hypothetical external factors. I had barely gotten the chance to glimpse it for myself back during February however…"

Leona growled. "Out with it."

"They're covered in scars, and not just from the overblots," Vil said. "I had suspected domestic abuse at first, however, they've given fond descriptions of their father as well as their close friends at this camp, so I concluded otherwise. When I enquired further, they had shut down. The only thing they had mentioned was that it was monsters."

"τέρας," Tablet-Idia mused. The word was unfamiliar, yet Idia seemed confident in his speech. Now that Ridde thought about it, with the Shroud Family being part of the founders of Olympus Corp, rumoured to be descendants of the gods, he wondered how much the two could relate on such matters. "Hypothetically, if they came from another world where the Olympian Myths were more prominent…then it's possible it's monsters are too."

Azul frowned. "I'm unfamiliar."

"There's a few notable legends," Riddle said. "Such as the minotaur and hydra defeated by the hero Hercules."

"Isn't he one of the seven important figures for Royal Sword Academy?" Kalim enquired.

Riddle nodded, preening with the thought that at least some of their usual tutelage had stuck. "He was a renowned slayer of monsters and praised for his immense strength. It's said that he regained his godhood that had been stripped away by a pair of mischievous imps after overcoming harsh trials."

"Hmm…I see," Malleus said thoughtfully. "Rather than the physical limits of their body, Yuu is worried about their ability to survive the monsters when they return to their world."

"But then, there's an easy solution, isn't there?" Kalim beamed. "We can just keep them here!"

"But it's their home," Tablet-Idia said. "They'd want to go back eventually. Yuu loves their family…the mortal one, at least."

Vil frowned tentatively. "We should hardly decide for them. The decision to stay or leave is, in the end, their choice. We have to respect that as their companions."

"Herbivore's tough," Leona said. "But fighting monsters every day is bound to get em' killed eventually."

Thundered sounded throughout the dorm, clearly evident of its master's mood. Riddle tightened the grip on his scepter, thoughts spiraling in circles. The discussion continued in in similar circles. Everyone looked ready to pounce at the slightest provocation. 

"Enough. The meeting time concluded fifteen minutes ago and I, for one, need to make sure the dorm hasn't been burned down," Riddle declared. "As Vil said, the choice is ultimately in their hands. Our best course of action would be to support them in their decision…and to ensure they are keenly aware that whether or not they originate from this world, they will always have a place here. At least, in the Queendom."

"The Savana too. Don’t try to claim all the prizes," Leona said smugly.

"The Coral Sea, and I especially, would always be happy to claim their services," Azul added. "…plus, they make a great distraction for Jade and Floyd." 

"They can always come to the Scalding Sands! Ma and Pa would love to meet them," Kalim cheered.

Vil smirked. "They'd adore another trip to Fairest City, especially with their budding music career. I could hardly let that kind of talent go to waste."

"Uhh- they can't really go to the Isle unless I ask ma…"

"The child of man will always have a place in Briar Valley," Malleus nodded resolutely. "As a subject or an honored guest, as the prince I will give them the highest of hospitalities."

Leona scoffed. "Getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you lizard?"

Sensing the impending argument, Riddle made the executive decision to remove himself from the room. Besides, he wasn't lying. He really did have to get back before someone accidentally burned the dorm to the ground.

Chapter Text

It wasn’t going to be the bloodthirsty eidolons, tauri sylvestres or power hungry emperors of Rome who did him in. No, the one to kill the god Phoebus Apollo would be one Elio Celeste. 

At least, that’s what Apollo had thought, considering the aura of imminent death that seemed to ooze from every fiber of his former lover. 

“Are you experiencing any motion sickness? Signs of fatigue? Vertigo? Dizziness?”

“Drive faster,” Elio said with the razor sharp edge of a man ready to strangle his coachmen. 

All these years and the man still had no fear nor respect for his godliness. It was one of the reasons that Apollo had fallen starstruck for the man, all those years ago in the grungy back alleys of under-the-table concerts and merriment of costumed festivals showcasing another era. At the same time, it meant that Elio would not have hesitated to punch Apollo’s lights out — god of light or not — if it meant Euanthe would be safe in his grasp. 

Apollo did not glance back, already intimidated by the heat of the blue-eyed glare searing his back. “Unfortunately, if I go any faster, we might be caught by—.” 

Pyrois neighed, rearing up harshly. Fwoosh! 

 A flash of light busted through the cloud layer, followed by trails of prismatic beams. It swirled into the blue beyond of Hemera, like a shooting star across the daytime sky. 

His head was a mix of curses and screaming. Of course, he should have expected this. He had expected it, had even planned for it! But in his haste to not die at the hands of Elio, currently in the backseat looking positively homicidal, Apollo had forgotten all his back-up plans and subterfuge and…well, he debated making a clone just to hit himself over the head with a book reading his own stupidity. 

“What’s going on!?” Elio demanded. “Are we under attack?” 

“Uhh— don’t worry,” Apollo said. Elio had already pulled out a knife without hesitation, the distinctive glint of celestial bronze sparkling against the light of the sun chariot. “It…should be fine. I’ll handle it.”

“You don’t look like you’re handling anything right now.” 

That’s because I’m not! Apollo mentally screamed. 

His divine authority swirled listlessly in the foreign world like a small fish in a wide ocean. Apollo imagined the campus of Night Raven College with it’s spires and cliffsides, greenhouses and mirrors. “It’s fine. I got this. Find a man named Crewel and he’ll take you to Euanthe, okay?” 

Elio did not sheathe his knife, instead taking a calculated glance towards Apollo, and then to the dolphin-sized holes that had appeared between the cumulonimbus clouds. “Oookay. You handle whatever this is then.” 

A flash of light passed through the hole in the cloud layer, accompanied by similar neighs and galloping hooves.

“Yeah, this is your problem.” 

 Apollo wasn’t sure whether he should be offended that Elio didn’t even offer to stay and provide morale support. Regardless, with a quick snap of his fingers, Apollo imagined the greenhouse where he had toured with Crewel, the image coming quickly with his now-restored divine memory. 

Whoosh!

Now alone, Apollo peeked down at the other sun chariot — a tacky, ancient looking thing with flimsy wheels and not even enough space for a second passenger and was also actively on fire — that raced toward his own chariot which was in the form of a lovingly ornate golden carriage. 

The charioteer pulled the reigns to his horses, both burning bright with dark maroon bodies as if they were roasting turnips. 

Apollo’s hand gripped the reigns, half tempted to pull out his bow and be done with it. Under any other circumstances, he wouldn’t even bother with diplomacy — not when the abject sense of wrong coursed through his golden blood at the mere presence of the otherworlder. 

Humans have speculated that finding another version of yourself was like looking into a mirror. 

If that was the case, Apollo was looking into a very tragic fun house mirror. His counterpart from Twisted Wonderland — and that name alone had its own questions, the first of which being why — was a broad shouldered man of too much shoulder and too little waist like a cartoon caricature of a sculpted wrestler. His skin was bright purple (why???) which contrasted with the garishly bright red tunic and golden plumed helmet. A dramatic cape swooshed behind him, equally red, held together by a sun-patterned brooch. 

Aethon and Phlegon gave the newcomer horses the evil eye, clearly not used to having more sky-galloping company. His other horses didn’t seem to care less, impatiently stomping their hooves into the non-existent dirt at insistence to barrel through their visitors and get to the destination. 

“No funny business, guys,” Apollo whispered to his equestrian companions, tracking the fast approaching vehicle with all his hunter’s instincts in blaring alertness. “Remember, we’re not here to make things harder for Yuu.” 

At the namedrop, his rebellious horses immediately snapped to silence, acting like the perfect picture of obedience.

 Favoritism, the lot of them. 

“Has anyone else noticed that people are acting really damn weird?” 

Yuu sat by the counter, Grim on their lap, combing out his hairballs after the menace at taken to rubbing himself all over the recently renovated furniture of the guest room. Beside them, their new bar table (no alcohol allowed) glistened with fresh wood varnish and the glitter that had been dumped all over after Epel tripped over a paint bucket. All around, the other colorful cast was seated on barstools that were stolen repurposed after a recent redecoration at the Mostro Lounge.  

In short? The First Year Braincell Octet (formerly quartet) was enjoying their last sleepover for the year. 

“Not sure if you’ve noticed, Yuu, but everyone in this school off their rocker,” Ace said, finishing up the round of UNO with a resounding win and small card pyramid just to add insult to injury. Deuce and Epel looked ready to pummel his smug face into the carpet.

Sebek glared at his cards — having earlier gained a damnable +48 cards in a no mercy round — before throwing them to the ground. “I have observed some…peculiar behaviour involving my liege and Sir Lilia. I’m not aware of the particulars however they seem to be planning a celebration…of sorts. But the atmosphere…” 

"Huh. It must be really out of character if even you noticed,” Deuce said. 

Sebek puffed up, red faced. 

“He means yer dense as a rock when it comes to those two,” Epel added unhelpfully. 

Quick as a whip, Yuu placed their hands to their ears in make-shift earmuffs as Sebek began belting, completing forgetting any semblance of an indoor voice. Grim grumbled, hissing at the other first years in contempt. 

“Oi! Knock it off!” Grim yelled. “No fighting in the guest room! Bosses’s orders!” 

“It’s boss’ orders,” Yuu gently corrected. 

“Myah! The Great Grim will not be constrained by arbitrary grammar rules!” 

“Is that why you’re failing languages?” Ortho taunted, an Idia-esque expression overtaking his synthetic features. Grim huffed, looking away, his ears pressed flat in embarrassment. “Hmm…after reviewing my log, I have noticed some abnormal behavior exhibited by the upperclassmen, especially towards Yuu.” 

“You mean apart from blatant favoritism?” Ace asked. “Man, Riddle’s been letting them off the hook like crazy! Plus, he’s been giving them more help in the potions lab than anyone else — his cute juniors included.” 

“Don’t call us that…” Deuce mumbled, ears red. “Besides, he was just trying to get Jade off their back…” 

“You shouldn’t accuse our upperclassmen of favouritism like that without proof…” Jack pointed out, a troubled frown on his face as his tail moved listlessly. “Still, Leona has been inviting them to more spelldrive games. I think he’s even offered them a job as a team manager.” 

“Paid and everything,” Yuu nodded. “It was actually pretty good, like suspiciously so. Azul even tripled my wage at the Mostro Lounge to match it.” 

“Like I said, favoritism.” 

“The octopus guy was super weird,” Grim said, crossing his little arms. “Just yesterday, he sent the giant eel twins to give us this weird paper thing!”

“It’s a coupon and invitation,” Yuu said, pulling out the golden ticket with a preposterously high 75% off discount for meals at the Mostro Lounge. It was taped to the back of a very fancy envelope with Azul’s (possibly forged) signature. They placed it in the center of the first year circle, backing away in fear of potential curses or wanton explosions — maybe Azul had found out the real culprit for his recent rhyming spells. “We should… give Azul a check-up tomorrow, just to make sure he hasn’t caught anything.” 

“Yeah, this feels too out of character for it to just be a trap,” Jack agreed, serious as ever. “Lilia did mention having a nutritional recipe for the sick, didn’t he? Maybe we could borrow it.”

Sebek stuttered, ghastly pale. “Are you attempting an assassination, human?!” 

“No??” 

“That’s not a bad idea,” Epel smiled wickedly. “Vil has been teaching me all sorts of recipes too.” 

“Hey, no trying to murder Ashengrotto unless he’s been replaced by a clone,” Yuu said. “In which case, just throw him to Jade and Floyd. They know how to be discreet.” 

“Is that a good thing?” Deuce asked.

“It’s a thing,” They shrugged. “So, we’re all in agreement. Something’s going on with the upperclassmen. Any leads?” 

Their friends adopted a pensive, thinking look — very rare for this octet — sitting around in a small circle and trading glances as if engaging in psychic conversation. Finally, as if to break the silence, Grim was the one who spoke up. 

“Myah! The Great Grim knows the answer!” 

They all turned towards him eagerly. 

“They must be trying to get my tuna cans!” 

Immediate silence. Ace’s face-palm reverberated through the guest room. “No way. They can afford a hundred of those without even making a dent in their ridiculously deep pockets.” 

“Yeah, Ace is right,” Deuce said. “Something else is going on.” 

“It probably has something to do with Yuu being a demigod,” Jack said. 

Yuu huffed. “This again? Is it really such a big deal?” 

“YES!!” 

The shared agreement was shouted by every occupant of the guest room — barring themselves. Yuu couldn’t help but roll their eyes. Hasn’t the novelty worn off for these people? Still, what could have caused them to be so…hospitable, for lack of a better term.

“If it’s just demigod shenanigans they could just come out and ask,” Yuu sighed. “It’s not like I’m all that secretive about it.” 

“Didn’t you run away when we tried to interrogate you?” Ace asked. 

“That was a tactical retreat.” 

An innocuous letter laid in their hands, decorative shells and stripes adorning the page. It was lightly perfumed with hints of bergamot and notes of water lily, wrapped in a pretty purple envelope and sealed with Octavinelle’s signature logo in vibrant lilac wax. The font was cursive and overly flourished, signed in golden ink by none other than the Octavinelle Housewarden, Azul Ashengrotto. 

“This is a trap,” Ace said. He looked at the mirror leading towards Octavinelle’s dorm with a mix of apprehension and befuddlement, sending them much too obvious side eyes. 

“Absolutely,” Deuce said, nodding along. “There’s no way that guy ain’t cooking up some kinda scheme.”

The letter, an innocent enough if a little flowery batch of flattery ending with a relatively afforable fine dining experience offer (which of course caught Grim’s undivided attention) was becoming well-worn by their constant handling in an effort to make sure it wasn’t an illusion. Azul, of all people, had invited them to massively discounted meal for, purportedly, being such a big help throughout the year or whatever that flowery nonsense was alluding to. 

The rest of their group was smarter than to walk into such an obvious trap, apparently, and had resolutely abandoned them — the original braincell quartet — to their collective fates. Probably drowned at the bottom of the sea or some sort, though they’d been hoping their tentative friendship with the Tweels and Azul would prevent that sort of mafia-like ending. Either way, it wasn’t like they could back down now with Grim already running ahead. 

“Who cares? There’s food! Myahahah!” 

Their little menace hopped into the mirror portal without a second thought. Had Yuu been a little less groggy from the constant tossing and turning of overrunning thoughts pertaining to Azul’s current mental state (because he’s definitely close to overblotting or something of sorts if he’s handing out such high discounts. He’s Azul.) they may have been able to stop their feline friend. Unfortunately, Grim had just signed away their last chance of getting the hell away from the underwater depths of Octavinelle. 

“Oi, Grim!” Deuce had tried to catch the rascal, but the valiant effort was undermined by the borderline looney tunes style of Grim jumping out of the way, onto his face and straight into the glowing, tentacle-adorned Octavinelle mirror. “Damn it. Sorry, Prefect. Guess we’re walking into this trap.” 

“It’s fine,” Yuu sighed, feeling like Atlas holding up the sky. “At least we can check if anything happened to Azul.” 

“Well, if something goes wrong, we can always have Ortho vaporise the lounge with his canon,” Ace said. 

Deuce stared, horrified at the prospect. “He can do that?! Isn’t that like when the evil headhoncho makes a mecha army to take over the world…?!” 

“You’ve been spending too much time with Idia,” Yuu said. 

“…he makes good blastcycles.” 

“Idia’s not really the world domination type. Y’know he’d have to,” Ace made a dramatic gasping sound. “Talk to people if he took over all the governments. Tax payer dollars have to be accounted for somehow.”

“How dreadful,” Yuu deadpanned, before dragging them into the portal. 

A familiar sensation of cold washed over, like when you’re escaping from the summer heat into a face-full of AC, followed by the tickling of bubbles and sudden onset of nausea caught by impromptu weightlessness. Well, not a lack of weight per se. The transition into the underwater world of Octavinelle’s dorm was akin to floating in outer space, existentially aware of the damning pressure and impossibility of breathing in such an environment and doing it anyways because magic does not care for logic nor consistency. It does care for student safety, however, which is more than what most people could say. 

An air bubble had formed around them, letting them float in the great fathoms below with nary an afterthought for physics. The water of 20,000 leagues under the sea was more like a backdrop of colorful, fantastical whimsy rather than a force that could crush them into bloody paste. In many ways, it reminded them of Percy. 

“I’m never going to sick of this,” Yuu smiled, waving at a nearby pod of bottlenose dolphins swimming past the dorm building. The pod greeted them with excited whistles, swimming by with summersaults and happy clicks. “You look so much stronger, Oreo.”

‘Friend! Hi!’ 

The youngest dolphin squeaked happily, blowing them a bubble ring, before catching up to his mother’s slipstream. 

“I’m already sick of this place,” Ace grumbled, arms wrapped around himself, his complexion pale. “I think this is what they mean by PTSD. I’m already getting flashbacks.” 

“It..wasn’t that bad?” Deuce said. “We faced worst!” 

“That’s not a good thing, dumbass.” 

“Oi, dumb and dumber,” Yuu said. “We need to get a move on.” 

Up ahead, by the sweeping arches of Octavinelle’s main entrance, Grim was yowling up a storm. Their feline friend was being tossed around like a beachball by a particularly giggly Floyd and the same pod of dolphins from earlier. 

“Shrimpy!” Floyd threw away Grim like old newspaper, his adept senses catching on to their presence like being locked-on in a radar. He swam across the water in the blink of an eye, catching them in a spine-cracking squeeze, made doubly worst by the fact that their senior had evidently forgotten his potions. “You were taking forever! I was getting bored with just the lil’ seal!” 

Said little seal, still indignant and fire spewing as always (a futile attempt, in the vast magic underwaters of Octavinelle), was being held by the scruff by a familiar dolphin. The others had dispersed after seeing that the game master had gotten bored. Oreo, despite being an absolute sweetheart, was clearly not going to get in a five meter parameter of Floyd Leech. 

‘Scary!’ 

Couldn’t agree more. Yuu couldn’t vocalize said worries, either in human or dolphin tongue, because Floyd could understand both like the maddeningly smart genius he was. 

“We’ve been waiting for ya!” The large eel cackled with glee, crushing their bones in the process. He had clearly forgotten to take his transformation potion again and was probably waiting for Jade or Azul to deliver the elixir while toying with the local wildlife — including Grim. “You got that letter, didn’t ya?” 

“Y-yeah…Floyd, I need to breathe-“ 

“Oops!” 

They gasped, air flooding into their lungs, filtered through the vast abyss of water. It tasted of vaporised salt and a metallic aftertaste that they didn’t care for. 

Unfortunately, Azul was much too good with sweet talking legalese (courtesy of his stepfather) and they were too scared of the Leech Twins completely hypothetical mafia connections to raise assault charges. At the very least, Jade was ‘kind’ enough to swim over, handing them a hankerchief with the most suspicious smile that he possibly could have mustered. 

“You’re perspiring quite heavily,” He noted, floating in a similar bubble to their own. With his other hand, he threw over the familiar transformation potion to his twin. “And your complexion is quite…blue.” 

“Symptoms of oxygen deprivation,” They grumbled. “Courtesy of your brother.” 

He smiled, completely not suspicious at all. “Our apologies. Floyd has been quite eager to see you again, especially with such interesting rumors floating around.”

“Yeah, why am I not surprised? Do those ‘interesting rumors’ perhaps have any relation to this?” They held up the letter. “I bet Azul’s whipping up quite a few schemes. Is he planning to take over Olympus? Cause I gotta tell you, that never really ends well.” 

“How astute,” Jade said. “But unfortunately not even Azul is that hubristic to think he could possibly take on gods.” 

Somehow, they were not convinced. Perhaps it was his much too fake boohoo voice or the totally not convincing sadness that masked the obvious growing grin on his face.

“To reiterate, I highly don’t recommend it,” Yuu said. “Consider it doctor’s orders.” 

“Well, if it’s doctor’s orders,” The eel looked much too amused. It made their skin crawl, the way his pointed teeth gleamed under the sparse lights of the undersea dorm. His eyes seemed to glow with eerie glee. “Allow me to be your escort today. We have quite the surprise coming up…and I hope you don’t mind some inquiries about your peculiar circumstances.” 

They smiled dryly. “I’m guessing it’s in the terms for the discount?” 

“Any and all questions, truthfully.” 

“Resistance is futile.” 

“It’s certainly not recommended.” 

“And the others?” 

“Floyd will attend to them.” 

“Should I be concerned?” 

“He’s in a good mood today.” 

“So, that’s a yes.” 

On the outside, there was nothing wrong with Azul. He seemed (keyword: seemed) like the peak of physical health, even better than before his overblot, and nothing about his posture gave away anything except the usual slimy sleazeball salesmen pitch. 

The only problem was that the Machiavellian octopus had his sights on Yuu — for better or worst. Probably worst, for their wallet if nothing else. 

“You simply must try the lobster risotto,” The octopus said, as if the dish didn’t cost an arm and a leg. 

“Personally, I recommend the octopus carpaccio,” Jade Leech said, elegantly pouring them another cup of reishi mushroom tea from a set of fine china painted with octopodes. 

Azul gave him a mean side-eye. His vice housewarden continued to eye smile in that oh so familiar way, no doubt getting under the octopus’ skin like a Leech. 

“I’ll get the mushroom risotto, no poisons please,” They said. “Now, fess up. What do you want to know?” 

“As observant as ever—.” 

“You’re just really obvious.” 

“The first question,” He pulled out a notebook, squinting down with his glasses. “Firstly, what sort of relationship do you have to the gods?” 

“I’m…the child of Apollo. I thought this was established.” 

Azul had the audacity to look annoyed. “We know that much. But otherwise, what kind of relationships have you established? Networks? Potential clients? Enemies?”

“Uhh…Well, if we’re talking gods then I only really know Mr D and dad,” They said. “That’s Dionysus — god of wine — and Apollo.” 

“Interesting.” 

Something was scribbled into the notebook, like a mad scientist taking notes with a quiet fervor. 

“Otherwise um…there’s a camp back home,” They continued. “It’s for the children of the Greek Gods, like me. It’s called Camp Half-Blood, for half-god and half-human. There are about twelve main cabins and we’ve been building a bunch more since the end of the Titan War—.” 

“The what?”

“We do a bunch of stuff like archery, forging, arts and crafts, lava wall climbing, capture the flag, chariot racing, war preparations…” 

“Excuse me,” Jade said. “You’ve mentioned war a few times now. Can we elaborate on that point?” 

“Oh, that?” They laughed, taking a sip of the tea. Then, they chugged the whole cup, almost but not quite slamming it back down (it was expensive…). “Yeah, how do you think I got here?” 

“Uhh—.” 

Their cheeks were hurting. They must have looked like a madman. Wouldn't be the first time. “Okay, the first one was pretty tame. Just your standard issue grandpappy slash titan god of time coming back from being chopped to pieces and scattered in Tartarus, land where light goes to die — which also happens to be where my idiot of a brother jumped into with a boyfriend but I’d rather not think about it.” Too late for that… “And the second war was against Mother Earth herself! And there was a small fight with the Roman Pantheon which is like the same thing but they’re like super into war and rules, even worst than Riddle, can you believe it? Anyways, some Roman jerk — Octa something or whatshisface who kills stuffed animals — pushed me off a cliff.” 

“…what?” 

“And on the way down,” They looked at the empty teacup unhappily. “I was trampled by a carriage with black horses — apparently the Dark Mirror sends them or so Crowley says. And, bam! I woke up here.” 

Silence. 

Jade was kind enough to refill their cup. His expression was…ponderous. There was a strange blankness that unnerved them, even as they distracted themself in the taste of his delicious brew. 

“At least I got to meet my dad,” They said. “Most demigods never get the chance, you know? Gods never really care about their kids…” 

Huh. Yuu squinted at the tea, wondering if there was any truth serum or something of the sort inside. 

“You know, the first time I found out I was a demigod, I nearly died,” A nostalgic smile creeped to the surface. “Dad and Couch Hedge brought me to the camp border in time, so the stupid demon pidgeons didn’t peck my brains out or anything, but I was totally shell-shocked. Surprisingly, Mr D was the one that helped me with that — by teaching a child gambling! Pinocle is surprisingly therapeutic, just dont take bets that are too big. After that, they put me in Hermes Cabin — patron of travelers you know? — and I was claimed after nearly getting mauled by an Ares kid on our first day of camp and I stabbed him in the knee with an arrow. Both of us lost dessert privilege…” 

“That…that’s it?” Azul’s glasses with glazed over. 

“To be fair, he couldn’t walk straight for week after, even with all that ambroisa,” They giggled. “That’s the food of the gods, it basically tastes like the best thing ever—.” Their papa’s homemade honey fritters came to mind. “But do not, and I repeat, do not put it on a menu for mortals. It has a bunch of side effects like spontaneous combustion.” 

Azul quietly crossed something off his notebook. 

“Any other questions?” 

Jade glanced at Azul, then back at them. His gentlemanly facade of a smile was gone, replaced with something a little more solemn. “You mentioned your brother being in…Tartarus? ‘Where light goes to die’…but is Apollo—presumably your father— not the god of light?” 

“Yeah, he is,” They smiled wistfully, if a bit pass the point of sanity from the long days spent staring at their ceiling as if it could magically transport them to Will’s side. “If the trip doesn’t kill him, I just might. I mean, haven’t you ever wanted to strangle your brother for his utter stupidity?”

“No comment.” 

“And haven’t you ever wondered how the heck your brother is still alive with his smooth brained antics that logic would never dare to comprehend?” 

“It is one of his charm points.” 

“So anyways,” They said, sipping more tea. This was really good tea, they should swipe the recipe. “Is that all?” 

Azul sat up, his notebook forgotten on the table. “One last question before your meal, Prefect. Are you thinking of retur—.” 

BZZZZTTTT. 

The announcer blared to life. “Will the Ramshackle Prefect, Euanthe Celeste, please report to the teacher’s lounge?” 

It was static-y, stuttering and just barely understandable. But it was so clearly Crewel speaking and not the damned Crow (who had been avoiding them for weeks). 

“Guess I can’t have the food…” They sighed. “Raincheck, got it? No trying to scam me out of a meal I can’t eat.” 

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Azul said, cool as a cucumber. “But…your name…ISN’T YUU!?” His hands slammed on the table. “DON’T YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF MY CONTRACTS THAT RENDERS INVALID!!! I NEED TO REWRITE THEM— AGHHH!! JADE, GET MY PENS!!” 

…why did it not surprise them that Azul had a line-up of contracts just ready for Yuu? 

“Trey, have you obtained the ingredients?” 

“Yes, Riddle. Cater and I found everything for the desserts.” 

“Excellent. Jamil, what about you?” 

“At least you gave me notice before asking me to cook a feast…” 

“I said I was sorry…” 

“Take your arguing elsewhere. Vil, have you prepared the venue?” 

“Obviously. Ramshackle has never looked so glamourous! We only need to wait on others to finish.” 

“Oui! Our Roi Du Poison has spared no effort in creating the most beautiful visage that Ramshackle’s dear phantasmal companions had ever witnessed!” 

“Have you finished compositing the music, Idia?” 

“Obvious, noobs! All the recordings from the live music club, and their new hit single! Even made a lo-fi edition since I had time…” 

“And Leona, have you finished—.” 

“Everything’s done, don’t worry your pretty little head off. The Savanaclaw Students have prepped only the best stage for our prefect.” 

“Malleus, the invitation— why do you have life-sized gargoyles behind you?”

“I could hardly leave them in my room when they looked so lonely.” 

“My food!” Grim bemoaned. “Henchmen…why???” 

“If we’re being called to the teacher’s lounge, it probably has to do with school and considering we’re technically one student…it would be pointless to go without my other half,” They said, scratching his head as the rascal curled up in their arms. “Besides, there’s no one else I’d trust to defend my honor.” 

Grim puffed up. “Obviously. The Great Grim will protect his henchmen no matter what!” 

“Keep that confidence when we see d— Crewel. Okay?” 

They pushed open the teacher’s lounge door with their foot, seeing as their hands were occupied keeping up Grim, and went inside. Everything was normal, they weren’t about to be sent on an errand or deal with another disaster. Not to Yuu’s knowledge that is. 

So whatever Crewel wanted, it was likely to be reasonable. 

“You’re here,” Crewel said, standing up from his desk. 

Yuu spun around, a silly giddiness to see their homeroom teacher/legal guardian brewing in their chest. “I am. What did—.” 

Their eyes adjusted. Oh. 

OHHHH. 

They had jinxed it after all. It wasn’t normal. At least, it hadn’t been in the last year that they seen him again. 

Standing behind Crewel, looking haggard and pale and just as shocked as they felt, was Elio Celeste. Their papa. 

He was wearing an oversized cardigan, dark as the night, layered over a ‘God Is Dead To Me’ shirt and the baggiest sweatpants that Yuu’d ever seen. Elio’s gaze squinted at them like he couldn’t decide whether they were real — probably because he’d forgotten his prescription glasses. His hair was tussled and frizzed up like he’d just stepped off a roller coaster and he had the telltale signs of dehydration and sleep deprivation; chapped lips, dry skin, undereye bags darker than Azul’s ink. 

“You look like a mess,” They blurted out. 

It didn’t matter to Elio though. Their papa ran over the desk with the practiced ease of a parent who spent years making sure that their kid didn’t accidentally trip into a cyclop’s club. Soon enough, they were being squeezed — even harder than Floyd! — in an encompassing hug and…

They melted into their papa’s arms, feeling safe for the first time in forever. 

“HENCHMEN! I CAN’T BREATHE!!” 

The hugging stopped, much to Yuu’s disappointment, as Grim struggled his way out. Dad stared at the fluffy grey menace, ears on fire and pitchfork tail, and then back at them. He tapped his pocket, where Yuu knew he always kept his dagger hidden away as a brooch. 

“This is my friend,” They said. “Grim. He’s…he’s been with me through a lot. Grim, this is Elio Celeste. My papa.” 

Grim looked at Elio like he was some kind of mutant. 

“Yer my henchman’s parent too?” He grumbled. “How many do you have?” 

“Two— well, three,” Yuu said, glancing over at Crewel. “And I love all of them.” 

“…really?” Elio whispered softly. “Even when I couldn’t keep you safe?” 

“Papa, you weren’t even in the state,” Yuu said bluntly. “There was nothing you could have done.” 

He flinched, all the usual fight gone and in its place was a man-shaped ball of hesitance and regret, self-loathing evident in his every breath. “I could have pulled you out. I knew something was happening and—.” 

“I never told you about the second war,” Yuu said firmly. “That’s on me, not you. Besides, if my friends — my brothers and sisters — had to fight and I didn’t, knowing everything that was on the line, I would not have chosen anything else. Even if you wanted it and knowing the risks. I chose this, papa.”

Stricken, their papa nodded with the same solemnness of a war veteran. 

“From what I know,” Crewel cut in dryly. “None of you should have had to fight for anything. Not even for the gods you call your parents.” 

Yuu shrugged. “I’m used to it.” 

Elio’s face fell further into devastation. Their gut wrenched in guilt, wondering just how to approach this topic for the papa’s sake. 

“That doesn’t make it right,” Crewel said. “Do you plan on returning to that place?” 

Yuu blinked. “For the summer, yes.” 

“And after?” 

 Hesitantly, they glanced at Elio. “I’d stay with my dad, obviously.” 

“You’d still have monsters around every corner and I doubt many schools would accept a student who disappeared for…nearly a year,” Elio said, taking their hand. He inspected it, searching. For what? “Crewel told me about Night Raven College. Your whole year, it’s…”

“A mess?” Crewel deadpanned. 

“Been less near death experiences than any other school you’ve attended.” 

Crewel stared at the man as if he’d grown a second head. “What do you mean—.” 

“You’ve had delinquents and all nighters cramming for tests. School festivals, birthday parties and getting into trouble with the teachers for legitament, non-monster related reasons,” Their dad’s grip was firm and warm. He leveled them a confident gaze. “There’s no lava walls for me to have a heart attack over, people don’t hand out ‘no dessert privelege’ as punishment for maiming other kids—.” 

“Excuse me?!” 

“You have help for your ADHD and dyslexia and you’ve made so many good friends,” Papa leaned up to kiss their forehead. “I’m so, so proud of you.” 

“Papa…” They choked up. 

“I’m moving here.” 

“Wha—.”

“I can freelance, rebuild my career. You know, like one of those isekai protagonists.” 

“Uhh…you don’t technically exist.” 

“Has that ever stopped a protagonist? Besides, IDs are easy to forge.” 

Crewel sighed. “Please do not blatantly talk about such illegal activities in front of me. I would like to keep some semblance of plausible deniability, Elio.” 

“I don’t know what you mean, Divus,” Elio grinned wickedly. “I’ll have to request your expertise on accommodation in these parts, I hope you don’t mind.” 

“There are spare rooms in the teacher’s lounge,” Crewel said. “You can stay there for the time being. They were used to accommodate parents in the old days when the portal system was being built.” 

Grim glanced at them, hopping back into Yuu’s waiting arms. He stared between the two happily conversing men. “Myah…henchmen, are you really going to stay..?”

“…”

The two seemed lost in their own rabbit hole of ‘moving to another world’ logistics and long term plans. Crewel had even suggested Elio becoming a teacher for Night Raven College, considering his musical talents were enough to seduce the god of music, which was a pretty damn good resume point. 

Finally, they seemed to notice that there were people (and cat-adjacent species) in the room. 

“Well, most importantly,” Elio smiled. “Do you want to move here, Yuu? For good?” 

“I…” They considered. “I want to go to Camp but…after that, I’ll think about it.” 

“Take your time, hon. I’ll support you no matter what.” 

“They’re gone. Elio, what the fuck did you mean when you said this has been the year with the least near death experiences??” 

“Oh, pop a wine glass, my friend. I’ll start with grade five and the math teacher sphinx, that one’s a doozy. I even have photos.” 

It was close to dusk when Yuu came back to the dorm, after their friends had ditched them halfway through studying so they sulkily texted Crewel to wish their dads goodnight. They sent another prayer to Apollo, just so he wouldn’t feel left out, before heading back. 

There was a large murder of crows that seemed to line every tree that they passed. Yuu could feel eyes on them — beady, shiny obsessed eyes — and wondered if something had gotten caught in their hair again. Maybe they could go nightlight mode like Will? Glancing down at their still dull, lightless hands, that was not the case. Their hair was still the same lustre of Vil’s homemade conditioner, but there was no Rapunzel shenanigans occuring. 

So then, why were they being stalked by Crows? 

The first thing their mind jumped to was The Crow. Was he secretly stalking them? Waiting to pounce with some insane favor?

The next thought was, ‘hey, aren’t crows a sacred animal for Apollo?’ but that was counteracted with ‘he probably has every animal under the gods forsaken sun as his sacred animal’. 

So in the end, they broke into a sprint (much to Grim’s displeasure) to make it back to Ramshackle Dorm. 

The doors, still a little rickety around the edges, were a familiar wood pattern with the world’s squeakiest, Mickey-shaped doorknob that they turned with glee. Come to think of it, they haven’t seen Mickey in a while, not since Diasomnia…

“SURPRISE!!” 

Yuu startled, throwing Grim at the attackers and pulling out their bow with the flick of a wrist. 

“Don’t shoot!” Ace screeched. 

They lowered nisiotikta, taking in the scene before them. A menagerie of students from all the dorms, surrounding the entranceway up to the stairway and kitchen, holding out popped party poppers. Even they seemed surprised by the sudden weaponry, and Grim had accidentally scratched up Deuce’s face in the rush. 

At least, they thought sullenly, it wasn’t Riddle. It would have been off with their head otherwise, and that sounded like a real crick in the neck. 

With another flick of the wrist, nisiotikta became nothing but an innocuous charm bracelet. “What’s all this for? A surprise end of year party?” 

“You’re quick on the uptake,” Vil said, his usual queenly countenance laced with something a little softer. He snapped his fingers, glancing over his shoulder regally to where a dramatic Pomefiore student eagerly raised a banner with their shyer Ignihyde friend, causing the entire thing to look lopsided. 

‘THANK YOU PREFECT! AND PLEASE DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR WORLD IT SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE - EVERYONE’ was embroidered (not even painted — embroidered!) with delicate silk thread that caught the light in that special way, gradients of colors in all the dorm’s signatures just bursting from the words. 

Words, which had started to fail them. 

“You— what— why??” 

Azul stepped up, looking suspiciously smug, the same notebook in his hands. “Apologies for the interrogation but we wanted to confirm the details of your world before making any rash decisions.” 

“Of course, should you choose to leave despite our warnings,” Jade added, much too smiley for their sanity. “We have other ways of making you stay.” 

To their amusement, Riddle kicked Jade’s shin, causing the eel to hysterically (fakely) fall over in shock and crocodile tears. “We are not doing any of the plans you three suggested. Honestly, I’m repulsed you could even think of such a thing!” 

Floyd laughed. “Ehh? But we gotta keep Shrimpy here or they’ll die!” 

“I’m not going to die!” 

“Fufu~ You have no way to predict that, Prefect,” Lilia giggled, hovering upside-down in front of their face. For an old man, he sure was spry. “I never thought we had so much in common! We should make our own war veterans club — although I suppose you’ve been in more wars than I.” 

“I’ve been in, like, two.” 

“Which is two too many,” Lilia huffed. “I’ve lived amongst humans for so long and yet I can never understand their capacity to send children to the front lines.”

“For my sanity, please just stay. You have a budding career here,” Jamil said, pulling out the music video they had made together. It was…wow, that was a lot of views. Yuu thinks that the cool billion views is a lot, anyways, because it’s not like they had many frames of reference. “At least stay until graduation and then I never have to think of you again.” 

“What do you mean? They’re obviously going to stay with us when they come to the Scalding Sands! Then you’ll see them all the time!” Kalim cheered. “We have the best guards. You won’t have to worry about assassins with me and Jamil!” 

“More like just Jamil,” Grim huffed. He sniffed the air, mouth watering and eyes lighting up. “Myahaha! Do I smell food?” 

Trey laughed, pointing down the hallway. “We made enough for everyone who RSVP’d and a bottomless Grim stomach. Feel free to have as much as you want.” 

Grim certainly didn’t need to be told twice, the cat instantly dashing out of their arms and across people’s heads to get to the grub. Pandemonium erupted as someone shouted out their love of cabonara, and it became a free for all. 

“What a pain…” Leona huffed. “So, what’s your decision, Herbivore?” 

Only twenty-two students were left in the hallway; their closest friends and acquaintances of questionable morality. All watched with trepidation as Yuu hung their coat over the rack and walked to the entrance of the kitchen, still being crowded by the mob. 

They turned back dramatically like a superhero about to give a last stance speech. “I’m leaving for Camp next week.” 

“…WHAT!?” 

Yuu broke, cackling madly at their shocked, even horrified, faces. “But I’ll be back after summer. You’ll see me in second year, promise.” 

The various first years, vice housewardens, housewardens plus Ruggie glanced at eachother. Then, back at Yuu, who was already squeezing pass the crowd to snatch the best plate of falafel. 

“Geez…they really scared me,” Ace said. 

“Me too…” Epel sighed, slumping. “But I’m happy for em’. Camp is where their family is after all and it’s just for the summer.” 

“Right!” Deuce cheered. “We’ll see them again.” 

“Should I start preparing a funeral?” Idia muttered, having been curled up in the corner from the crowd from attending in person with people and having to people talk with his dorm members. 

“Don’t be so negative, big brother!” Ortho cheered. “They’re staying!”

“Perhaps we should visit Child of Man at their summer camp,” Malleus said. He wondered whether he could, theoretically and without the full extent of his magic, be able to accomplish such a task. 

“Ehh? I wanna see the lava wall!” Floyd giggled, running off to the kitchen. “Shrimpy!” 

“Looks like Trickster is taking to the stage!” Rook cheered. “Shall we watch, Roi Du Poison?” 

“Obviously. It would be a disgrace to my position as their number one producer if I were to miss a performance like this.” 

Several students had forced a microphone into Yuu's hand, starry eyes just begging them to sing. And well, the show must go on. They couldn't help but smile as they took the custom-built stage, a small but stable structure taking up more space in the lounge than anything else. 

There was one song that came to mind, looking at the crowd of gleeful teenagers whom they had survived seven overblots with. It was from Camp, a musical written for their hero; Percy Jackson.

"There's gonna be a fight," Yuu sang. "There still might be a war, for the moment we have danger on the run..." 

The party ended well past midnight, with not even the usually strict Riddle Rosehearts and Vil Schoenheit imposing a schedule on the merriment, although they had left earlier out of routine. 

Many students crashed over at Ramshackle, whether in one of its many, many unused guest rooms or on the floor of the main lounge area, in pack of sleeping bags strewn across the floor. One (unconfirmed sighting but most definitely a Rook Hunt) was spotted napping in the vents by a mortified Ignihyde student who wanted to get a midnight drink. 

Yuu and Grim had the Housewarden bedroom to themselves, complete with possibly magic mirrors and the best view in the dorm. 

“Henchmen…” Grim crawled up the bedsheets to rest against their chest, his paws patting their chin. 

“Yeah, Grimmy..?” 

“If you go to camp, I’m coming too.” 

“Yeah,” They let out a big yawn. “Of course. I couldn’t leave my partner behind after all.” 

Grim let out a purr, a satisfied motor-like sound that vibrated against their chest steadily. “Goodnight Yuu. I’ll see you in the morning.” 

“Goodnight Grim,” They kissed his forehead. “You’ll see me everyday from now on.” 

They recieved a loud snore in response, their companion having dozed off, cartoony dream bubble and wall. Grim nestled into their arms, claws slightly digging into their shirt, as if he couldn’t imagine letting go. Yuu repositioned him, letting him sprawl over the blankets and hog the bed. 

“Rascal,” They said fondly, following him into a realm of blissful dreams. 

“Imagine my surpise when I spotted another sun!” His other self laughed. 

“Haha…my apologies,” Apollo said. “I wasn’t trying to impose.”

“Don’t worry about it, my other self! This is the most interesting thing to happen in years!” 

‘How can I not worry???’

Apollo strode pass the prim and proper halls, tiled with marble with cubicles made of stained glass, acting completely in his element. The keyword, of course, being acting which he was very good at, mind you, but it was needed to be said. Because on the inside, Apollo was nothing more than the same nervous Lester of a wreck that had plagued him for months. 

The Other Apollo — OtherLo? — opened the door with a flourish, flexing his inhumanly big and disproportionate muscles to the swooning ladies nearby. 

‘What did they do to my Muses?’ Apollo thought, looking at the assortment of women. They were certainly still attractive, no doubt, and that certainly was not an issue. The issue was that they were 2D. 

To reiterate, the Muses of this world were not flesh and ichor gods that strutted around with cartoon proportions — though they certainly had that too — they appeared to be something akin to dancing pictures on the amphora, that molded and shifted with every sigh, gasp and musical number. It was quite a spectacular sight, which certainly seemed to grab OtherLo’s attention in more than the appropriate ways, but Apollo preferred his women and men…living? In some sense of the world. Human-like, not flowers or drawings, thank you very much. 

Though he supposed he can’t judge OtherLo’s tastes too harshly. 

The inside of the door lead to Mt Olympus how mortals may conjure it up; fluffy white clouds adorned with ionic pillars lined in marble and gold, frolicking angel-winged anemoi darting about and a roundtable facing his way, accompanied by twelve so familiar yet so different gods. There were other somewhat familiar faces amongst the gods, curiously seated in a stadium-like area as if watching a fun game. 

OtherLo took a seat by the roundtable. 

“You must be my Other Son!” The King of the Gods, Zeus, was dressed in a white-and-golden toga instead of his pinstriped suit, with massive swirls of beard and a lightning bolt casually settled at his side in a distinct Z-shape. “Welcome to Twisted Wonderland, my dear boy. Now, what can we do for you?” 

Apollo wondered if the sky had rumbled or if lightning broke through the clouds. That kind of reaction — the power, the domination — would have been familiar. Comforting, even, in this kind of situation. 

He mustered up his best smile, a facsimile of what Phoebus Apollo used to be. 

“I hail from the world of Gaia. Zeus, Sky Father, I request a boon.”