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Chapter Text

Shen Yuan woke up confused. While sleeping and lounging the day away weren’t unknown to him, he wasn’t a deep sleeper. Too many sleepless nights in the hospital had left a mark.

So there was no way someone could have come in and rearranged his room for him while he slept. Even the ceiling was wrong. The room was huge and looked like something from a period drama. It even smelled different; the bland fragrance-less disinfectants his cleaning company preferred replaced by the rich aroma of incense. And frankly, except for his mei mei, no one would. The level of detail, of course his er-ge could pull that off. But his family was simply too busy for childish pranks, especially one as ornate as this.

A dream then, he thought, and turned over to drift back to sleep, or out of sleep as it were. But a pull on his neck had him gagging, and his hands, cloaked in billowy white sleeves, pried themselves free to undo the noose around his neck.

Shen Yuan froze, feeling the silken strands of long hair wrapped about his neck, and coincidentally connected to his scalp.

What the actual fuck?

“Shizun,” a pathetic voice sounded near the foot of his bed. Well, it wasn’t his bed but the massive wooden and curtained beast he currently found himself freaking the fuck out in.

“Out, beast!” The scorn dripping from his voice shocked even himself. His trembling hand moved to his chest, feeling the rapid pounding of his heart. What the hell was this? Where was he?

His bleary eyes scanned the room again. It couldn’t be transmigration, could it? But how? He hadn’t died. Sure, his health wasn’t the best. But he wasn’t even currently hospitalized. He would remember if he had died, right? That’s kind of a major fucking life event!

“Shizun, we have to get ready for the wedding,” that small voice again, and Shen Yuan wasn’t ready for the surge of hate that left him gasping, his hands ineffectually writhing near his neck again.

“Shizun!” His young servant couldn’t see him clearly though all the gauzy layers of the canopy, but he could see enough to know his master was in distress. And he reached for him.

Too bold. The thought seemingly came from nowhere, and Shen Yuan couldn’t stop the sneer that twisted his face. Luo Binghe’s reaching arm fell back to his side, and he slid to his knees on the floor, no longer daring to reach out or to look up at the enraged visage of his shizun.

A wave of déjà vu nearly sent Shen Yuan falling out of bed. Closing his eyes and trying to calm his breathing, Shen Yuan couldn’t help lean back in the silken blankets and fluffy pillows. Well, that’s historically inaccurate. But an inaccuracy he was grateful for. Otherwise he would certainly brain himself smashing his head against a porcelain pillow.

“Binghe,” he finally ground out, wondering if the taste of blood in his mouth was from teeth grinding. His jaw was clenched like a vise and not helping the headache pounding behind his eyes.

“This master is not well.” That sounded good, accurate, right? Shen Yuan had devoured web novels and anime like a true, blue otaku. He could pull this act off, and even if he wasn’t going to win an Oscar, the goal was to just avoid tipping off the locals. “No exorcisms” might be a low bar. But perfectly doable.

“But Shizun, the wedding. First Husband Liu has already arrived.” Binghe’s voice petered out, uncertain.

Fuck the wedding and that cheating, good-for-nothing liar! Shen Yuan was shocked, again, by his own thoughts. His hands finally fell from his neck and folded like wet napkins on his lap. Again, he focused on his breathing. Freaking out would fix nothing. He needed a clear head to get through this.

His eyes caught on the still kneeling form of his little disciple. Shabbily dressed, dirty, and terrified. And those curls.

Shen Yuan remembered this story. He knew he did. It was all too familiar. But he wasn’t sure when he had read it…? There were several installments, that he was certain of. The author had a handle that would make only a teenager laugh. Not that Shen Yuan was blameless there, but well, his account had been made when he was still an actual teenager.

Yes, that was it. Proud Immortal…something. The title escaped him. But it was an interesting setting for a cultivation novel. There were no cultivation sects, instead, a general peace was maintained with the demon realm, and Lords, generals, and other members of the Emperor’s court were the focus. Cultivators were trained by individual masters, and tournaments were held to keep skills sharp and to showboat. Of course, there still inter-species tensions. And intra was well. As Shen Yuan remembered, the court drama took up the majority of the novel. Which was silly, because the world building had had potential. There was always some lame aphrodisiac flower cropping up, but the beasts had been the best feature. Usually, they were just described as part of a night hunt or tournament, plot devices to move along damsel-in-distress scenes and the resulting…

Ah shit, it was a harem novel.

“This master can hardly attend ill,” Shen Yuan said, and he didn’t need to fake the tremor in his voice. If Binghe would dare to lift his eyes up from the floor, he would see a deathly pale face above rumpled white bed clothes.

“So Binghe is dismissed. This master needs his rest,” Shen Yuan said after his little disciple failed to respond. Binghe did raise his eyes then in surprise, and witnessed his strict, overbearing, and sometimes vicious shizun falling back on his pillows with a sigh.

Please just leave! Shen Yuan wanted to scream. His mind was too busy melting the fuck down to deal with faking it for the mistreated boy. Not only was he trapped in a harem novel, he was fricking married. To a man, a Lord. And oh no, that’s wasn’t enough. He had to be fate’s favorite chew toy. Because he recognized this scenario and recognized the poor little lamb. It wasn’t enough to be reborn midlife into some harem novel with all his memories of his past life. Oh no, he was reborn as the scum villain of the book, a beautiful yet vicious man who would stop at nothing to ruin the protagonist’s happiness.

The protagonist who was getting married to his husband right now. Liu Qingge. There was some temptation to attend the wedding, just so Shen Yuan could sneak a peek at the protagonist in his wedding clothes. But no, it was too risky. He knew absolutely nothing, and couldn’t trust someone as young as Binghe to be his wing man.

Binghe finally did shuffle away. For the life of him, Shen Yuan had no idea where he had gone. He would need to do some serious reconnaissance later. He had no idea where he even was; he could only guess these were his quarters. How many rooms, where the servants slept, any amenities, he was clueless about it all.

Assuming I stay here. The grim implications of the thought sunk in and had Shen Yuan sighing and burying his face in his pillow mountain.

If I die here, will I go back home?

But that seemed like too much to hope for. What were the odds death here would send him back to his family? What if he was transmigrated somewhere else even worse the next time? No, he would just have to tough it out. And really, it wouldn’t be that bad. He was rich, or at least his Lord husband was. And he has absolutely no intention of bringing himself to ruin the way the original Shen Qingqiu had. Let the lovebirds canoodle. It didn’t involve him.

He sat up suddenly. A hand traced down his face and ineffectively wiped the tears away. Huh. He had nothing to cry for. It didn’t involve him at all, not really. Shen Yuan had never been in love, and certainly never with the original good’s husband. So there was no betrayal, no broken heart.

And, if he played his cards right, maybe he could see more of the world here. Trips, or even better, traveling independently. He didn’t think it was in vogue for Lords to let their spouses go traipsing around the three realms. But Shen Qingqiu was on the outs with his husband, thrown aside for some young rich boy, so how much convincing would it really take? Shen Yuan snuggled down into his silken sheets and fell asleep dreaming of the twin-beaked burning snow lion, a rare griffon-like beast that lived on the borders of the demon realm. It had a regular lion’s head also, but hidden under the mane, which was its only weak point, but the bird beaks had separate attacks. One spewed ice, and the other fire. Shen Yuan promised himself he would totally see one, from a safe distance of course.

Shen Yuan wanted a fucking divorce. Not now, but yesterday. This was absolute bullshit and he’d done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

Binghe couldn’t bring breakfast, or lunch as it was. Shen Yuan had managed to sleep the day and then some away. But how was that surprising? Transmigration took it out of a person. He was just recuperating.

“The kitchens said… they said, there are many fine things being made for the wedding. But none of them could be brought to this room ^[1]." Binghe refused to look up at him, a trend Shen Yuan had definitely noticed. Did he really think he’d beat him for the nastiness of those kitchen harpies?

And it wasn’t even his room! Granted, Shen Yuan was a little relieved to find this out when he’d finally inspected his surroundings in better light and without a bed curtain and tears obscuring his sight. The room was somewhat shabby, and smaller than he’d been led to believe by period dramas. Many of his belongings were just haphazardly lying about instead of properly displayed or stored. But Binghe, bless his soul, had solved the mystery when he regretfully informed his Shizun that he wasn’t able to bring more braziers to the seclusion courtyard.

Seclusion courtyard. Where Lords sent their naughty spouses to wither away and repent for their past behaviors.

So no food, cold despite the cultivation, in isolation, and totally disrespected by all.

Though the cultivation was pretty awesome. Shen Yuan had to restrain himself from swinging his sword, Xiu Ya, all over like a fanboy tweaking out on energy drinks. She was awesome, perfect, beautiful. Everything a magic sword could be. When Binghe was out running the first errand Shen Yuan gave him, on the sly, Shen Yuan had to hug the sword. Really, she was just perfect. And the warm, reassuring pulse of qi he felt from her told him she knew she was perfect. Her stand was excellent, ebony wood inlaid with mother of pearl. Otherwise, that would be the first thing he’d buy. Not that she was on the stand much anymore. Shen Yuan needed to practice going about his daily life with a sword on his waist or in his hand. Wouldn’t do to accidentally leave her in the bathroom!

And thank any god willing to listen, but the bathrooms weren’t as rustic as they should have been. A talisman disposed of waste, but water still needed to be hauled in. Which proved to be a problem.

You’d think he’d asked for that servant woman’s first born with the way she hmped and dawdled about when he requested bathwater. With Binghe out on his most important first mission, he needed someone else to fetch it for him. He didn’t know how to do it. And really, wasn’t that something any servant could do? She was lurking near the seclusion courtyard anywhere, obviously not doing anything else. The absolute disrespect had him clenching his jaw.

“This century, if you don’t mind,” Shen Yuan slammed the doors on the unpleasant woman’s face. Well, a bath would certainly help clear his mind, but it wasn’t necessary. At least the original goods was fastidious about personal hygiene.

He sat in front of small bronze mirror and preceded to practice his hair styling. Really, it wasn’t too hard with all the practice he had doing his mei mei’s hair, but re-familiarizing himself wouldn’t hurt. It was unlikely Binghe would be any help. Shen Yuan doubted the original goods had ever let the boy touch him, let alone assist in styling his hair.

Speaking of that boy, Shen Yuan wondered how he would fare on his first mission. Well, it wasn’t as if Binghe was new to running errands, but it was Shen Yuan’s first time assigning one!

And if that bath water did manage to arrive, maybe Binghe could make use of it afterwards? Because new clothes would only fix so much. The look on the boy’s face when Shen Yuan had presented him with his shopping list and coins. The food, sure the lad understood that, but the money for new clothes and shoes for the boy himself had Binghe stammering and tearing up. Even when Shen Yuan had explained it was just to make him look more respectable for running additional errands. You’d think the boy had never had new clothes before. Which actually, given the setting, he probably hadn’t. That was a bit too depressing to dwell on for long.

Shen Yuan finally fell back on his last pastime available in his seclusion: poking around his assortment of books that he currently had available. Thinking of the bookshelves back in his actual quarters filled him with longing, but these would have to do in the meantime. Even though there wasn’t a single bestiary to be found in his trunks. Maybe Binghe could sneak back into his quarters and fetch some supplementary reading material?

Shen Yuan dismissed the idea almost as soon as he had it. He didn’t know how serious an infringement such as act would be. Yue Qingyuan must be super pissed that Shen Qingqiu hadn’t shown his face at the wedding. Would he take it out on his disciple? Shen Yuan would just have to wait to start going through the bestiaries.

And really, the more Shen Yuan thought about it, the more he was convinced that he was right to not attend the wedding. He was in the seclusion courtyard, still being punished for crimes Shen Yuan had never committed. Why fixate on him attending the wedding? It seemed to be overly cruel on Yue Qingyuan’s part, like he was really trying to rub it in. What sort of beast treated his heartbroken husband of ten years like that?

Shen Yuan really was not looking forward to seeing his face again. Depending on how successful Binghe’s future missions were, maybe he would never have to. But Shen Yuan was uncertain of the time frame. Sure, he remembered the setting, the protagonist, Yue Qingyuan and his own character, Shen Qingqiu. There were schemes, but he couldn’t really remember the details except that his character had been killed off, a route he was dedicated in the utmost to avoiding. One of the more dramatic events did involve demons, demons attacking the manor to bride nap Lord Yue’s new husband. Hopefully Shen Yuan would be able to avoid that event all together! But otherwise, he felt like he was flying blind. And the solution to that was more research.

He had to work himself up to read the love letters Lord Yue had written for the husband he must have loved, at some point. They wouldn’t that bad, per se, but knowing how things had turned out, the youthful hopes and promises conveyed in them were like a knife in the gut. He would finish them later, for research purposes, but for now, the few he’d managed to read through would have to be enough.

Binghe arrived in good cheer just as the churlish servant and another she had impressed into service had hauled in a few measly buckets of water. They departed with hardly a bow, and Shen Yuan was relieved when the doors to his temporary quarters finally closed.

Shen Yuan had Binghe show off his treasures, which it seemed he had successfully haggled down to a nearly criminal price. The shoes were practical enough, and the pants and robes a little long, which was just smart planning for a growing boy. A thicker, outer robe was also part of his purchases, but Shen Yuan worried it wouldn’t be warm enough. Well, it was only spring now, there would be time to find him warmer clothes.

Binghe had also managed to get quite a few ingredients to start their own supplementary pantry.

“Binghe has done well,” Shen Yuan praised him and passed back some of the copper coins his disciple had returned as change. It would do well to reward him often since he would be handling even larger sums soon. Shen Yuan waved off his protests and bade him to store his new belongings. With the kid distracted, he went to go see about the bath water situation.

Of course, those awful bitches hadn’t brought enough to fill the tub. And it couldn’t really be called hot. Luke warm was pushing it.

Shen Yuan ran back to his books and whipped out the one he’d been perusing earlier on talismans. Writing with a traditional brush was daunting, so he thought it would be best to practice first. And with Binghe distracted, no one would see any of his abysmal attempts. He didn’t remember if Shen Qingqiu was any good with talismans, but as an adult cultivator with a golden core, this was probably nothing beyond the pale.

Tearing some paper into the appropriate sizes and grinding the cinnabar ink, Shen Yuan eyed the talisman design again. Once the ink was ready, and he put his brush to the paper, he was ready to praise every god that would hear his lowly words. Muscle memory for the win! The lines flowed gracefully from his hand; the ink shone smoothly. The simple heating spell took form underneath his hand, and Shen Yuan had to hold in a little shriek of excitement. It looked bloody awesome too, but of course, it would be best if it actually worked. Waving the paper to dry it quickly, he made his way back to the bathroom and slapped the talisman on the bathtub. With a small burst of qi, the writing fizzled and was gone.

Shen Yuan squinted at the half-full bath. There still wasn’t any steam. Well, practice would make perfect. Dipping a hand in the water, he pulled it back in shock. It was definitely warmer. Not hot springs warm, but climbing in wouldn’t be a hardship. Stripping behind a conveniently placed screen that doubled as a place for him to hang his clothes, Shen Yuan slipped into the not-perfect but definitely not terrible first bath of his transmigration.

Finally feeling relaxed, he leaned back and closed his eyes. A warm, and dare he hope, hot bath was the ultimate luxury. It would be impossible to give it up. If he really was going to travel this world, he would seriously need to up his game. Talismans first, as they seemed the easiest to pick up. Binghe’s second mission would be part of how he could secure funds, but more would be needed. On the road, they could take night hunts, but small villages rarely had the funds to pay wandering cultivators. Depending on how he was able to break free of his ruined marriage, he might be able to frequent larger towns. But that was a huge assumption. Just thinking of Qingyuan’s stupid, smug face was enough to make his blood boil.

There would be dangers on the road as well, namely other people, and he would have no status to demand respect once divorced. And what about the more interesting of all the creatures he hoped to see? He didn’t want to hurt of them, but it would be impossible to avoid all confrontations. He needed to get back into practice when Xiu Ya. Training up Binghe would be the perfect excuse.

“Shizun?” Binghe’s meek voice came from outside the bathroom door.

“Hmm?" So sue him. A hot bath would make anyone lazy.

“Does Shizun require anything else of this servant?” Shen Yuan didn’t understand how Shen Qingqiu could have been so strict with him. Binghe was such a white lotus. Shen Yuan suspected he could win over his loyalty very easily.

But did he want to? Did he really want to bring this kid on the road with him? It would be less lonesome, certainly, but it would also be exhausting always having to put on a face for an audience.

Maybe it wouldn’t even be an issue. Perhaps Binghe would choose to cut ties with him and go his own way. And regardless, it would be Binghe’s choice. Shen Yuan was responsible for him. He certainly couldn’t leave him behind in this hellhole.

Remembering that the boy in question was still waiting for a response, Shen Yuan said,” Nothing else is needed for now. Perhaps Binghe could see about dinner?” That left it nice and open. Perhaps the kitchens would deign to feed this spouse. Perhaps his poor little disciple would also have to play cook. Either way, they’d figure it out. Shen Yuan refused to be broken by a harem novel.

1. From Feynite’s IWYWMH chapter 1.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

Shen Yuan’s dreams were torture. Which really wasn’t fair. The day had gone from epic disaster levels (who really plans on transmigrating?) to quite nice with a lovely bath and serviceable dinner of congee topped with chicken and green onions. He’d even had a rather promising chat with Binghe about how he’d need to rely on him more and had made promises of additional training and greater trust. A deepening of the bond of master and disciple. It sounded like tripe, but his little white lotus had eaten it up. Shen Yuan maybe felt a little bad about laying it on so thick, but he would need Binghe for acquiring funds. He had no idea how long his forced seclusion would last, and until it did, Binghe would be his only connection with the outside world.

So how had his psyche taken this positive ending for day 1 and turned into a marathon of nightmares? Shen Yuan was no novice to nightmares; sleep deprivation in hospitals and cocktails of drugs and treatments had run him through the gauntlet. But holy hell. Death by hanging; death by hanging while Lord Yue watched him struggle on the noose; death by drowning, again with and without audiences. The best one was being trapped, in a small, dark space with an untold number of hands grabbing him. He finally awoke before dawn and refused to attempt any further sleep. Changing into fresh inner robes had him feeling more like himself and less like a shell-shocked soldier.

When Binghe, sporting his new robes, came to wake him, Shen Yuan was already up and pretending to write a letter as a cover for practicing his calligraphy. An outer robe draped haphazardly around his shoulders was surprisingly not considered appropriate day attire, and Shen Yuan was grateful for Binghe’s assistance in dressing. The robes were fussy, with too many pieces and layers, but Shen Yuan felt like he could figure them out with time. And really, all the layers felt a little like armor. With last night’s torments still lingering on the edges of his mind, the feeling of a little extra protection was welcomed. And he didn’t think his hands were still shaking, but with Binghe’s help dressing, he could just hide them in his giant sleeves and pretend to be an indifferent immortal and not someone who couldn’t go back to sleep after a nightmare.

More congee and fruit surreptitiously withdrawn from the kitchens made a nice breakfast for them both. When they finished, Shen Yuan laid out his disciple’s second mission.

“Because this master is currently confined, he must rely on Binghe to act as his agent.” Binghe's little affirmative nod made Shen Yuan want to coo. So cute even when serious!

“This master has limited funds, and with the new first husband controlling the estate’s finances, it’s unlikely that this master will receive his monthly allowance.”

“But Shizun, how can he do that? Shizun was here first, and First Husband Liu…” Binghe’s petulant tone petered out.

“It’s not a matter of seniority, it’s simply favoritism. First Husband has the backing of a powerful family. Lord Yue cannot dare offend him.” That he could offend a friendless Shen Qingqiu was left unspoken.

“It’s not fair,” Binghe pouted, and Shen Yuan forced down the fondness he felt for the boy’s outrage on his behalf.

“Life is not fair. We must play the cards we are dealt. And we must plan and act so that, when the worst comes, we are prepared.” Shen Yuan had found the original good’s fan stash and couldn’t help a dramatic swish here.

“In preparation for trying times, this master has selected some goods that are to be to sold. Binghe will act as this master’s agent and barter them for an appropriate sum.” With this, Shen Yuan opened the first small chest he had prepared. It was mostly jewelry, which he thought would be easy to move, and a few knickknacks selected to test the waters.

Binghe’s gasp had him reassessing his plan.

“But Shizun loves those! They are his favorite gifts from…” Binghe stopped himself, his eyes wide as he took in Shen Yuan’s pale face.

Obviously, not anymore, Shen Yuan thought with a grimace. His fan was up and covering everything but his eyes.

“Inconsequential,” he managed to grind out. “Don’t bother, no apology is needed,” he snapped when Binghe started to lower himself to the ground in preparation to kowtow to his mercurial shizun.

Before they could be distracted by additional frivolities, Shen Yuan launched into an explanation of the sorts of shops Binghe should try, the expected prices to get for each piece, and how to securely tie his money pouch inside his robes to deter pickpockets. He let the words flow out as if the tide of chatter could conceal everything else. He wasn’t attached to such frivolous and meaningless things. Yue Qingyuan could shove that bejeweled hairpin up his ass for all Shen Yuan cared. Though really, he’d prefer to get paid for it instead.

“And Binghe will be rewarded for his work,” Shen Yuan reminded him as he handed the small chest over to the boy.

“Shizun doesn’t have to reward me. Shizun saved my life, so this lowly one is happy to help him in any way that he can.” Gods, that smile could power entire cities. Shen Yuan waved him off before he could accidentally say something fond in return.

With his disciple out for the majority of the day, Shen Yuan returned to his perusal of the love letters. It was needed research, or so he kept telling himself. Lord Yue and Liu Qingge were in their honeymoon phase, sequestered away like nesting love birds and unbothered about anyone else. Shen Qingqiu wasn’t even a blip on their radar. It was unlikely the unfavored, despicable second husband would be granted even a glimpse of Lord Yue’s perfect, lordly face anytime soon. But such peace wouldn’t last forever. And one would expect a husband of ten years would know his spouse rather well, so Shen Yuan needed to up his game for the inevitable confrontation.

After not even a shichen, Shen Yuan cursed himself and went to make tea. He kept telling himself he should be unaffected, but reading those bloody letters felt like swallowing a knife. Bile and blood wanted to rush up his throat. His head and eyes ached from the suppressed tears. He’d count each day as a divine blessing to be beside his A-Jiu, huh? They were as close as one soul in two bodies, really? Nothing could ever separate them again? Well maybe Lord Yue hadn’t considered infidelity, death, and transmigration. Shen Yuan felt like his head was going to burst open. A break was definitely well-deserved!

After his tea, he switched gears. He had weeks, maybe even months to get through those letters and prepare his act for Lord Yue. And really, what was he freaking out about? Did that man really know his spouse? If Shen Yuan was here, it meant that the original goods wasn’t. Namely, that the original Shen Qingqiu was dead. Yue Qingyuan’s betrayal had killed Shen Qingqiu. How much of a performance did Shen Yuan really owe him? And who in their right mind would be happy to see the man who had so fundamentally betrayed him ever again?

Shen Yuan tried to remind himself about the different standards of this world in regards to marriage and romantic love. But really, it was just an excuse for exploitation. Those in power did what they wanted and those without options had to just go along for the ride. Pretending it didn’t bother them was just a mask of sorts, a way to protect themselves against the wrath of their own husband or the other spouses. So of course Lord husband can marry the spouse half his age, of course Lord husband deserves seventeen wives to massage his shoulders, kiss his feet, and suck his dick. It was disgusting, and it strengthened Shen Yuan's resolve to get the hell out of this place.

Shen Yuan fell back into his talisman study with a renewed vigor. He might not have land and a title, but he'd be damned if he would be without power!

Again, he was beyond grateful for muscle memory. Otherwise his robes would look a fright just from preparing ink. His first heating talisman was similar to last night’s; a change in temperature was certainly there, but it wasn’t what a person could call hot. Yet the text promised “bountiful heat” and what sounded like a description of boiling. Shen Yuan switched up his style and finally the third talisman on a jug of water elicited that sought after steam. Shen Qingqiu lazily pulled his hand through it, luxuriating in the heat and washing away the shameful ink stain he’d managed to smudge onto his skin. He would need to keep at this talisman until he could do it flawlessly, then move on to others. The exploding talisman had initially drawn his eye, but how could he practice that in the estate? No, he’d best stick to the basics for now. After the heated water, the talisman to clean water would be conquered next. It was similar in style, and then from there he’d master the cleaning talisman, and then maybe…

“Shizun!” Binghe’s triumphant cry pulled him from his reverie. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but grin back at the boy who ran at him, all grace and propriety forgotten, to shove the bulging bag of gold and silver into his still damp hands.

Things were peaceful. Binghe and Shen Yuan had established a routine. After Binghe’s second successful mission selling Shen Qingqiu’s completely unwanted jewelry and decorations, they’d decided to take a little break less they flood the market or raise any suspicions. Their time was spent in training, sword skills for Binghe in the small seclusion courtyard (it could not be called a garden by the farthest stretch of the imagination) doubled as lessons for Shen Yuan as well. Thankfully, muscle memory saved his bacon yet again, and even Xiu Ya seemed intent on guiding him through forms and feints that seemed surprisingly familiar.

Shen Yuan, or rather, Shen Qingqiu had been neglectful with Binghe’s calligraphy as well. So when Shen Yuan practiced his talismans, Binghe sat across from him, carefully rewriting his characters under his shizun’s watchful eye. But the boy couldn’t spend as much time at it as he should. The only fly in the ointment was that the kitchens were still being stingy. Binghe didn’t even bother trying to bring a tray for him any longer and was now making both of their meals over the little cooking fire they’d set up in the courtyard. It could have been a lot worse. The boy was a savant with food. The few times Shen Yuan had tried to help had been disastrous. Binghe, bless his heart, was too kind to say so, but it had become the unspoken rule that Shen Yuan was not allowed to touch the food until it was time to eat it.

With care and patience, they were both polishing vital skills. And Shen Yuan would be lying if he said he wasn’t beginning to really appreciate Binghe’s company. Sure, he had no options for any further socialization. But the boy was pleasant, hardworking, and exceedingly kind. And really, even if he could go out, Shen Yuan had no friends in this world. Shen Qingqiu had lived for his husband, and the man had betrayed him. There was no one else.

But still, it was a shock to the system when it all came crashing down.

Of course, Shen Yuan didn’t remember enough of the original book to give himself any sort of prior warning. His was busy training and planning lessons for Binghe and striving to feel less like a stranger in his own skin. But it was sudden, so he couldn’t avoid it or try to work himself up for the confrontation. Oh no, just like many of lives’ unwanted surprises, his so-called husband showed up on his doorstep without a by-your-leave.

Shen Yuan didn’t know what the hell that man’s problem was. It hadn’t even been two weeks since the wedding. But there he was, Lord Yue Qingyuan, standing in the entrance way to the seclusion courtyard. Shen Yuan was pretty sure a spouse wasn’t supposed to just freeze and glare when their Lord husband made an appearance. But really, what was he supposed to do? The man hadn’t even announced himself.

And it was a shock to see him. Lord Yue Qingyuan always looked handsome, but his height made him regal. Immaculate gold and black robes cut an impressive figure and focused attention to the breadth of his shoulders. His face was forced into neutral lines that Shen Qingqiu knew were practiced. There was a tightness around his eyes, and Shen Qingqiu would have felt a vicious glee in knowing that he made the man uneasy. But such a minor victory did nothing for his nerves. Shen Yuan tried to steel himself but all he could do was hide his trembling hands in his sleeves. Lord Yue was just staring at him, clearly uncertain about his welcome.

Shen Yuan rolled his eyes but it was Yue Qingyuan who spoke first, “This Lord is pleased to see that A-Jiu is feeling better.”

Oh that shithead, trying to make an issue out of missing the wedding when Lord Yue was the one who had broken his vows and abandoned the husband he had sworn his life to.

“Not for long, if Lord Yue keeps speaking. This one will likely vomit,” Shen Yuan shot back before he could clamp his mouth shut.

It was satisfying watching Lord Yue’s mouth drop open. Like a giant, stupid frog catching flies.

Ramifications, consequences, Shen Yuan tried to keep them in mind, really, but this was pretty great. He wanted to keep rolling, but if he did, he’d probably never get out of the seclusion courtyard. More funds, more freedom, and most importantly, more books were waiting for him, if only he could behave.

Yue Qingyuan stumbled over his words, his eyes still wide. “I had hoped that we could talk, if A-Jiu has the time.”

Time? I’m locked up and thrown away. Shen Yuan wanted to scream, but he held it in. With a shrug he headed towards his minimal receiving room, uncaring if Lord Yue followed or not.

His husband settled across from him and Shen Qingqiu proceeded to make the tea. He selected an ostentatious, sweet tea they both hated and prepared it perfectly. Lord Yue watched him, unspeaking as Shen Qingqiu sat the offensive cup in front of his husband. He didn’t touch his own cup and watched Lord Yue force down a polite sip.

“What did Lord Yue want to discuss?” The wince was obvious. Maybe it was both the tea and the overly formal address.

“I know this has been a struggle for A-Jiu, but I never intended to hurt you,” Yue Qingyuan said quietly, looking at his husband forlornly from across the table.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but scoff. He twirled his fan before snapping it into place. “Lord Yue didn’t intend to hurt this lowly one and so he betrayed the vows he made to this one, isolated him, and starved him in the isolation courtyard? This one can’t help but wonder what Lord Yue considers to actually be ‘harm‘ then?”

Pity he hadn’t been sipping the tea. Shen Qingqiu would have liked to see him choke.

“Calling it a betrayal seems excessive,” he finally said. “No other man of my station has less than half a dozen consorts.”^[1]

“Yet this one, as the betrayed party, says the action was a betrayal,” Shen Qingqiu drawled and held up his hand to forestall any additional argument.

“But speaking of your future consorts, has Lord Yue considered where he might store them? If you subdivide the bamboo courtyard, you might fit three of four there. Or a dozen concubines.”

Lord Yue paled considerably. “A-Jiu doesn’t mean that,” Yue Qingyuan finally managed to choke out.

“This one certainly does,” Shen Yuan drawled from behind his fan. “However, perhaps this one could retrieve his possessions first before Lord Yue invites his harem.” It was worth a shot. Shen Yuan didn’t think he was capable of being diplomatic right now because damn, this man really ticked him off. He would really need to practice his indifferent immortal façade. The plan was to get back to his rooms, sell all the goods, and calmly petition for a divorce. But all he wanted to do was claw Lord Yue’s eyes out.

The silence stretched and Shen Qingqiu refused to break it. He only waved his fan a bit and waited the other man out.

“Xiao Jiu doesn’t seem like himself,” Yue Qingyuan spoke softly.

The name made his blood boil, but he gripped his fan harder instead of hurling it across the table at Yue Qingyuan’s dumb face. “How would Lord Yue even know?” Shen Qingqiu retorted.

“This Qi-ge will always know his A-Jiu.” The promise fell on deaf ears. Really, after what he’d done, no thanks.

“Hmm, that’s nice. But regarding this one’s possessions. How much longer were you planning on keeping me locked away like a dirty secret?”

Lord Yue ran his hand down his face. Good, this conversation should also be a hardship for him.

“A-Jiu can return to his courtyard if he has repented…”

“Oh, I repent plenty,” Shen Qingqiu interrupted and finally stared the man down.

“If, well then,” Lord Yue paused and his throat bobbed wordlessly. He broke first and glanced away, and Shen Qingqiu knew his barb had hit home.

“If that’s all then,” Shen Qingqiu stood without waiting for his response and walked back to the gate. Lord Yue let himself be ushered out, his few attempts at additional words lost in the clang of the gates.

Shen Yuan felt cold and hot all at once as he slammed the doors to the seclusion courtyard behind his so-called Lord husband. He was nearly shivering with exhilaration. Picking fights was not the way to come out on top, Shen Yuan knew this. But it had been oh so satisfying to finally see tears in that man’s eyes. It was vindicating after all the tears he had caused. And even though he hadn't been able to keep his venom to himself, Shen Yuan had been granted clearance to return to his courtyard. While it wasn’t the freedom he truly yearned for, it was a step. And really, if he kept this up, why would Lord Yue want to keep him around? A divorce might be easier to achieve than he had dared to hope.

He and Binghe packed up their things and were back in the bamboo courtyard before dinner. Of course, nothing had been kept up and they had quite a bit of cleaning and rearranging to do. Those bestiaries would have to wait until tomorrow.

But Shen Yuan’s exhilaration didn’t last long. Once night fell, the nightmares started again.

1. From Feynite’s IWYWMH, chapter 1.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

Shen Yuan felt hungover. Which was patently unfair, he’d had nothing to drink but tea. But after the emotional roller coaster of seeing Yue Qingyuan, resplendent and happy in his new marriage, and then another night of nightmares, well, it was a miracle he was productive at all. The cherry on the shit sundae was the nagging sense of disconnect he had when returning to his own courtyard. It was a lovely space, he was glad to be back, really. And it was full of useless trinkets, jewelry, and expensive robes that would bankroll his flight to freedom. The lovely, massive collection of books and scrolls wasn’t even enough to settle his spirit. Something just felt off.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep. But cultivators were able to go without sleep for long periods of time, right? Perhaps Shen Yuan was discovering the limit to that perk.

The nightmares had been too real again. Locked away in the dark, surrounded by hands he couldn’t stop from touching him. There had been a light this time, weak and flickering through a metal grate and someone was on the other side as well, but no matter how small he made himself, he couldn’t fit through and escape.

And before he could wake the fuck up, the dreams had taken a decidedly new turn. It wasn’t that surprising, really, when you considered it. Shen Qingqiu, this body, had been married for ten years. Obviously, it was accustomed to a certain level of attention.

“A-Jiu is so tight for his husband,” the straining voice had panted directly in his ear and proceeded to lick a stripe down his neck. Shen Qingqiu could only moan in the pillows he kept his burning face buried in. The hands on his hips were gentle, kneading, but the pounding against his raised ass was forceful and deep. His husband reached impossibly deep inside him, and every movement seemed fill him further. The pillows muffled another moan when Qi-ge pulled him closer, frantically pushing as deep into his ass as he could before pulling almost all the way out. Shen Qingqiu’s hands scrambled for purchase on the silken sheets, and that shameless man didn’t make it any better when he reached between Shen Qingqiu’s trembling thighs to stroke his straining sex in time with his hard thrusts.

Shen Yuan got up to get some water. Why the dreams needed to be that detailed and why the fuck they would feature that loser, Yue Qingyuan, was just a mystery of the psyche! So what if he was good looking. Shen Yuan wouldn’t touch that trash fire with a ten-foot pole.

The cool water did little to quell the embers still smoldering low in Shen Yuan’s belly. He was not going to rub one out over a dream featuring Lord fucking Yue. And besides, he didn’t want any evidence on his bed sheets. Not having to do your own laundry was only convenient if you didn’t have back-stabbing gossips in charge of your linens.

To keep the nightmares and his own unwelcome lust at bay, Shen Yuan hit the books again. He’d learned to make do with only one small lamp. Any more and Binghe would come to check on him. That boy had some sort of sixth sense. Who was the master here? If anyone was going to fuss, it should be him fussing over his young disciple. Not that he would.

His talisman study was progressing well. Steaming hot baths were easily acquired now. Clean water as well, at least as far as he could tell. He wasn’t sure how susceptible a cultivator with a golden core would be to the wrong microbes. Cleaning talismans in general were giving him some trouble, and with his dreams and the recent confrontation with Yue Qingyuan in mind, he pulled open a new scroll and began reading up on concealment talismans. It could be a very advantageous area of study. It wasn’t limited to inanimate objects either. Just the idea of hiding his supplies, gold, and escape plans was enough to have him practicing in the predawn. But being able to hide himself as well? Well, he might just have to switch his major. With luck, his cheating husband wouldn’t ever be able to find him.

Morning light was suddenly streaming though his windows, and Shen Qingqiu jerked suddenly at fresh tea that was placed before him.

“Was Shizun studying all night again?” Luo Binghe asked, sounding unfairly aggrieved at his insomnia.

“This master has many things to prepare for,” he said cryptically. But his otherworldly persona couldn’t stand up to fresh tea, and Shen Yuan signed after the first sip. Who taught this boy to brew such a delicious cup of tea? Or right, it was him. Good job, me.

Perhaps something had gone through his so-called husband’s thick skull last night, because a servant from the kitchens knocked cautiously with breakfast that morning.

The servant was a rather young woman who wouldn’t raise her eyes up to look at the dreaded basilisk that was the second husband. Intimidation didn’t stop her from setting the tray down with too much force. Good thing Shen Qingqiu had cleared the scrolls he was studying away at the unexpected knock.
“Cook Song says to tell the second husband that we’ve not the staff to bring breakfast personally to his rooms each morning and…”

Shen Qingqiu cut her off while poking skeptically at the meal, “Or cook it, by the looks of it.”

She went red in the face and stammered some before making a lazy attempt to bow and retreating.

“Take it with you. This master has already had breakfast and doesn’t need his morning studies interrupted by whatever this is supposed to be.” He waved his hand over the still mostly covered dishes.

He hadn’t, not really. But he’d prefer Binghe’s bare bones congee over anything from the kitchens. Who knew what they’d try to slip into his food? Even though he’d been allowed to return to his courtyard, he was still the recently demoted second husband. Besides Binghe, anyone Shen Yuan had come into contact with had behaved disgracefully. Who knew how far the disgruntled staff would take it now that he lacked the armor of Lord Yue’s regard?

Shen Yuan had no intention of finding out!

The servant took the tray away with a huff and closed the doors to his courtyard with what could only be described as a half-assed slam. But Shen Qingqiu tried to put it out of his mind. He would not be dependent upon them, and soon, he wouldn’t even remain at the estate to witness whatever foulness they cooked up.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but wonder if Liu Qingge was experiencing any lip from the servants? But no, it was highly improbable. First Husband Liu was from a rich, well-connected family. He’d probably brought an army of his own disciples and servants. And the kitchen staff wouldn’t dream of treating a real noble like First Husband Liu with even a shadow of disrespect.

Shen Qingqiu wondered if that’s how it all really began? Sure, he’s always been wary of strangers, and speaks sharply, but was he really so vicious in the early days that all the staff turned again him? He’d certainly never struck a servant. Was it just easier for them to disregard his status since they knew he had essentially been of the same station as them? Or was there some other influence?

Well, since Yue Qingyuan had denied his requests for major changeovers in staff repeatedly, now that Shen Qingqiu no longer cared, it would be a fallout for others to deal with.

After their real breakfast, Shen Yuan led his disciple out to the gardens for sword practice. The corner devoted to bamboo was the most open, and so they had most of their martial lessons there.

Shen Qingqiu tried to let the worries of the morning drift away with the pleasant breeze. The wisteria across the way was in full bloom and perfumed the air. The bamboo itself swayed like a green ocean, and Shen Qingqiu felt more in his element. They fell into their practice routine, and Shen Qingqiu added a little technique he must have picked up from one the scrolls where they sent the fallen bamboo leaves slicing towards one another. Binghe flailed about a bit, trying to deflect them, and Shen Qingqiu sent more at him, just without as much force. It wouldn’t do to accidentally slice the boy’s cute face.

By afternoon, Binghe was winded and even Shen Qingqiu could feel the strain from a good workout. Instead of having the tired boy prepare lunch, Shen Qingqiu had an idea.

“Let’s go out for our meal,” he suggested as he redid his hair and waved Binghe off when he tried to help. Really, he would need to learn to do this on his own.

“Out where?” Binghe asked. He tried to stop his lip from quivering. Everything was going so well with his Shizun! Their lessons were great, and Binghe thought he was really improving. And Shizun trusted him now, not just with his clothes, and hair and food but also with selling his most previous treasures and bringing back the funds. But now, since he didn’t want Binghe to make lunch, perhaps Binghe had done something wrong? Was the congee bad this morning? Binghe was horrified even thinking it.

“To this master’s favorite restaurant,” Shen Qingqiu said cooly. He really had no idea if the original goods went out often. He assumed, with his social connections, there must have been get-togethers and luncheons with other appropriately ranked spouses. But Shen Yuan would rather swallow his ink stone than try to rub elbows with those types. And really, what if they saw right through him? In the books, the had considered Shen Qingqiu a fraud because he wasn’t of noble birth. Shen Yuan was now a genuine fraud, and he feared they’d eat him alive.

Binghe looked confused, and Shen Qingqiu forged ahead with his gamble. He needed to know more about this world and how to operate in it. Could he just swing by a market with his personal servant? Could he buy supplies and have them delivered to the estate? What sort of establishments would be considered “appropriate”? Would he be hounded to take guards or could he traipse about as he pleased?

“This master has noticed Binghe’s improvements. Consider this outing a treat,” Shen Qingqiu said as he finished straightening his guan. Turning from the bronze mirror to take in his silent disciple, Shen Yuan had the sudden realization that Binghe was one word away from bursting into tears.

“Shizun doesn’t have to reward this lowly one!” Binghe sobbed.

“This master doesn’t have to, but he chooses to,” Shen Qingqiu patted his hair once in consolation. Ah, those curls were too soft.

“Now go get cleaned up, we’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.” Binghe hurried off obediently.

Shen Yuan withdrew some of the money from his recent sales. He left it out on the table instead of tying the pouch onto his own belt. It would look better for his disciple to carry the funds, and it would be a little boost for the silly boy’s self-esteem.

Shen Yuan wondered how much lunch at a nice place would cost. Surely not too much? He really needed to get a better point of reference for currency here.

Well, if he overspent, he could always have the bills sent to the estate. Or dig up his emergency funds.

Shen Yuan froze in the middle of counting out the coins again. Emergency funds? Why would he have…?

Vertigo made him sit, suddenly. Because he knew, under the floor near his bed, was a chest of money and easily bartered valuables. He already had been constructing his go bag. For a long time.

Binghe charged back into the room with a clean outer robe and somewhat tamed curls. “Shizun, this one is ready.” He skidded to a stop and took in Shen Qingqiu’s pale face. “Is Shizun alright?” he nearly yelled, and was on the floor next to his seat, peering at him worriedly.

Shen Yuan tried to wave him off, but Binghe insisted on bringing him some cool water before going to call for a carriage.

Shen Yuan sipped his water slowly. Carriages in a xianxia setting, that hack author.

Binghe came back to escort his shizun to the carriage and kept a careful watch over him. He had no idea why his shizun had suddenly seemed to fall ill, but it had disturbed him greatly. What if he had another attack like on the night before the wedding? Luo Binghe had been sure his shizun was going to die, yet none of the servants had called for a healer. And Lord Yue had never come to see him. His shizun had changed after that, and Binghe worried. Sure, his shizun was infinitely kinder to him, patient, and teaching him a great deal. But he always seemed distracted and unbearably sad. Shizun didn’t even sleep if his Binghe didn’t remind him to go to bed.

Binghe was allowed to ride in the carriage beside his shizun who seemed taken with the city streets that passed by. Binghe didn’t know what drew his shizun’s interest when he himself had a hard time taking his eyes from the older man’s perfect, contemplative face. He was resolved to take care of his shizun, even if Lord Yue wouldn’t.

They returned to the estate much later than planned. Lunch had turned into a whole event. There were several musicians at the restaurant and Shen Qingqiu had explained each instrument and style to Binghe. They’d had to listen until the musicians were forced into repeating pieces. The food was good too, and he even partook of a small cup of wine. But really, it didn’t have much on Binghe’s cooking. The boy was a genius with food. Shen Yuan told him so but had reel in the compliments when it looked as if the boy would pass out from embarrassment.

Full of more traditional confections than Shen Yuan could name, he had the carriage driver deliver them to a bookstore. His previous, bare bones instructions worked again. Either the driver knew where the original goods liked to shop, or he just knew the city’s hot spots.

Shen Yuan instructed Binghe to find himself a new book as well for his reading practice, and while the boy was distracted, Shen Yuan dove shamelessly into the shelves. The variety here was top notch. Almost immediately Shen Yuan found a new bestiary about coastal fauna. Oh, and natural remedies from estuary plants. The memoirs of a wandering cultivator known for his advances in metallurgy was added to the pile. Without prompting, Binghe was soon at his shoulder and taking the many finds from his master’s hands. His disciple’s barely suppressed chuckle finally broke the spell.

Anyone would be excited by so many new books. But they were saving money, not looking to spend it all. Regretfully, Shen Yuan sat a book on piaohao banking back on the shelf.

Upon returning to Lord Yue’s estate, Shen Yuan was decidedly tuckered out. He dared hope he might even sleep well tonight.

That fragile hope was summarily smashed when, just a few moments after arriving back at his courtyard, the doors were thrown open.

Shen Yuan sat down his books and glared at the man who dared invade his personal space. And he had to snap his fan in front of his face to hide his surprise at finally encountering the book’s protagonist, Liu Qingge, in the flesh.

Of course, Liu Qingge was breathtakingly beautiful. The stern face was softened by his beauty mark and rather plush lips. His flowing, black locks were simply styled in a high ponytail atop his head. The ramrod straight posture, muscled physique, and pristine robes couldn’t hide that he was a drop-dead pretty boy.

Apparently Yue Qingyuan had a thing for the bishies.

But unlike Shen Qingqiu, poor Liu Qingge, at least in the books, was a little, shall we say, slow on the uptake?

Smiling behind his fan, Shen Yuan realized that particular attribute was also accurate in this version of the story. Apparently, after bursting into the second husband’s private quarters, Liu Qingge’s plans dropped off. He stood, silently fuming, but also looking awkward as hell as he shifted from foot to foot and refused to meet Shen Qingqiu’s eyes.

“Could this second husband help First Husband Liu with something?” Shen Qingqiu prompted.

Liu Qingge’s focus snapped back to him. “Where were you today?” he demanded.

“Out, but is that really First Husband Liu’s business?”

“You were planning something! You upset Lord Yue last night,” Liu Qingge accused.

Ah, was poor Lord Yue not enjoying his harem as he thought he should? Did he expect Shen Qingqiu to beg him for the return his affections? Maybe Lord Yue needed to learn you reap what you sow, bitch. But Shen Qingqiu figured it was easier to just fess up than deal with unfounded suspicions. “No, this one was out having lunch.”

“For three shichen?” Liu Qingge crossed his arms.

“This one went shopping afterwards,” he said simply.

“For what?”

Gods, what a nosy little shit. “Books,” Shen Qingqiu replied, and kept his fan in place to hide his irritation.

The pile of new books were sitting conspicuously on the table. The formidable Liu Qingge was stumped again.

“I heard that you were in charge of the estate’s finances before.”

Shen Qingqiu had no idea where this was going. Was this some half-baked attempt to accuse him of pilfering funds from the estate? And if he had, did Liu Qingge seriously think anyone would confess to such a thing just because he stormed their rooms unannounced?

“This second husband was relieved of that duty nearly a month before First Husband Liu came to the estate. He can ask Lord Yue to confirm that,” Shen Qingqiu said, working to keep the irritation from his voice.

“I wasn’t accusing you of anything,” Liu Qingge muttered.

“Oh, but that seems like all First Husband Liu is capable of doing?” Shen Qingqiu remarked innocently.

Liu Qingge actually blushed. Good, let the man feel some shame.

“I didn’t mean, well, this one has questions about the books,” he finished lamely.

“Books?” Shen Qingqiu asked. He gestured at his recent purchases. “Did First Husband need to examine this one’s books?” Oh Shen Qingqiu knew where this was going. That brazen homewrecker.

“No! The estate’s accounts.”

"They are First Husband’s responsibility now,” Shen Qingqiu agreed. And good luck with that, knucklehead.

The blush had reached his ears, and it only confirmed what Shen Yuan knew. Liu Qingge was 100% protagonist material. Even confused, bumbling, and ashamed, he looked like a super model. He looked like a super model the other models would strive to emulate and worship on the sly. Too bad he didn’t have much going on upstairs.

“I wanted your help. With the estate’s finances, since you know how to do it,” he finally forced out, as if each word was a shard of pottery lodged in his throat.

“And why would this one assist you in your duties?”

Liu Qingge sucked in his breath. “I know you hate me, but…”

“Oh I don’t take hate you. Not personally, at least.” The man didn’t look like he believed him, so Shen Qingqiu clarified. “Lord Yue knew what he was doing, that marrying someone else was a betrayal of his vows to this one. But you would have married a Saw-toothed Moon Crab if your family told you to.”

“I would not!” Liu Qingge shouted, and Shen Yuan couldn’t help but grin behind his fan.

“Yes, you would have. The filial son of the Liu clan, only by marrying this demonic crab-man can you bring peace to the realms and honor your family’s name. You would have bowed to anything they asked you to. No matter how many legs and varieties of slime secretions it had.”

“Shut up!” Liu Qingge creatively shouted as he stormed out of Shen Qingqiu’s courtyard.

“And a goodnight to you too, First Husband Liu,” Shen Qingqiu said with a snort.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

Despite sleepless nights becoming far too common, things were going well for Shen Yuan. No two-timing husband darkened his doorstep since their latest blowout. There had been a gift from Yue Qingyuan with a note a few days afterwards. Delivered by one of Lord Yue’s personal servants, the man hadn’t even looked at Shen Qingqiu. Though he supposed he ought to be surprised it wasn’t thrown at his feet or even stolen before it could be delivered to him.

Shen Qingqiu sold the gaudy brooch and burned the note unread.

Liu Qingge hadn’t returned to his rooms either, and the staff hadn’t revolted, so he must have untangled the estate’s finances enough to pay wages. Shen Qingqiu had no patience for that rich boy. He’d have to learn on the job, just like Shen Qingqiu had. Where’s all that noble breeding now? Didn’t nobles raise their children since birth to marry well, run households, and act like their shit didn’t stink? Though it should be easier for Liu Qingge anyway since the staff wouldn’t dare attempt to sabotage the precious first husband.

Shen Yuan did remember how uncertain Liu Qingge had been in the novel. A superior swordsman, moral and righteous, but absolutely inept at politics and intrigue. And apparently home economics. He tried to remember when the man had hit his stride in the book, but even though he’d only been in this world a few weeks, his previous life was the one starting to feel like a dream. He’d prepared for that, somewhat. Looking at the plot notes he’d jotted down one sleepless night, in English of course because he didn’t need servants whispering about his future plans, he felt a growing disconnect with the novel now that we was living it.

Was that all Shen Qingqiu’s life had really burned down to?

The disconnection was disturbing, but not entirely unforeseen. He was settling in too well. His fingers no longer sought light switches on the walls. He hadn’t tried to find his phone all week. Though Shen Yuan debated drawing a portrait of his mei mei to alleviate his fear of forgetting her face. Worse case scenario, it would only hurt like a punch to the gut every time he looked at it. Best case scenario, he would find a way to go home and see the real deal soon enough, and the portrait would be unnecessary. As a compromise, he drew her with her back to the viewer as she perused a bookstore, a huge pile of BL and shojo already at her feet. Seeing her in her natural environment would make any brother happy.

Both Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe were flourishing in the peace. His young disciple took to just about any lesson like a duck to water. He lacked a natural affinity for music, which was unfortunate, but Shen Qingqiu was determined he know the basics and could play a few pieces well enough to avoid shame if he was ever called upon to perform.

The boy was now entirely too devoted to his shizun, and Shen Yuan had to call him off from dressing him in his finest silks each day and limit their spending on groceries. The boy would bedeck him like a god on his festival day and cook a banquet each night if Shen Yuan let him!

The boy had had a hard time adjusting when Shen Yuan had picked up embroidery. He had wanted to experiment with talismans sewn directly into clothing or other fabrics. His lack of finesse with the needle made the results pretty sloppy; apparently it hadn’t been one of the original goods’ hobbies. It wasn’t an unheard-of pastime for a spouse of his station, but Shen Yuan couldn’t fallback on muscle memory for this one. He’d have to pick it up with practice and perseverance. Binghe initially fussed about his Shizun working himself to the bone or, gods forbid, pricking his fingers.

Shen Qingqiu finally had to snap at him. “This level of concern is offensive. This master can hardly injure himself with embroidery. Go run laps around the garden until you’ve burnt off all this unproductive energy.”

Afterwards, his little bun was bit reserved at dinner, but thankfully didn’t pester him about his hobbies again.

A few more trips to appropriate shops and even a pawn shop or two had seen their funds grow considerably. Nearly all the hideous vases, paintings, jewelry, and silks were liquidated and they were, as far as Shen Yuan could tell, rolling in gold and silver. A second round of purges might be forthcoming, since Shen Yuan had felt oddly attached to several things he knew he would never actually use. He hadn’t wanted to reflect on that, but it seemed wiser to go slow anyway. No one was going to show up in his rooms with an inventory list, but still, a gradual change would be less likely to be noticed.

Shen Qingqiu had even purchased some supplies for the road, which were now stored with his previous stash under the floor. He had been able to pull up the stash a few days after the revelation. Just looking over the goods, what he had picked to take with him if and when all hell broke loose, he’d been struck but again with a sense of familiarity. As if he had really planned for this and not the original goods.

The best Shen Yuan could explain it was that in addition to muscle memory, he’d inherited some actual memories? Or at least instincts from the original goods. It would explain why certain things seemed so familiar, and how the names of some servants were practically dancing on his lips even if he’d never seen them before. And of course, it also explained how easily Yue Qingyuan’s name alone could ignite his rage. The memory of the hurt was still there in Shen Yuan, just under the surface. He tried not to think too much about on it; it was disquieting that Shen Qingqiu’s broken heart remained within him, a ghost haunting his aching chest.

What was it with Yue Qingyuan only knowing how to ruin a good thing?

Apparently, the please-forgive-me-for-being-a-cheating-man-whore brooch had come with a letter asking for a meeting over lunch. A family lunch, with the whole harem.

Of course, Shen Qingqiu hadn’t bothered to read that disloyal man’s words. Why would he waste the time when all Yue Qingyuan knew how to do was lie? So he was quite surprised when Lord Yue’s steward had arrived the night before, advising him to attend lunch with Lord Yue and First Husband Liu the next day in his lord husband’s quarters.

“Looking at you makes me physically ill,” didn’t seem likely to get him out of this one. Cultivators didn’t get sick often, except when nearly dying of qi deviations.

“Sluts like you aren’t worth my time.” Accurate to a fault, but Shen Yuan didn’t think it would get him anything but a trip back to the seclusion courtyard.

Shen Yuan wracked his brains, but it seemed like he’d be attending the most awkward lunch in the world.

It really wasn’t fair. Shen Qingqiu was supposed to be a conniving villain with a hundred plots and a thousand lies and tricks at the ready. Feeling sad about a bland book of poetry he’d never seen before was pointless; why couldn’t Shen Yuan inherit some of those villain instincts? He didn’t feel crafty, just tired.

But, really, maybe that would be the best method. He’d not engage. He’d eat his lunch, be silent, and then get out. Lord Yue and First Husband Liu would be plenty distracted with each other. He wasn’t even sure why he was being invited to this! Didn’t they just want to moon over one another? Why did they need an audience for that?

Disgusted, Shen Qingqiu decided to drop it and return to the book he was reading before the steward had interrupted with that most unwanted invitation. Hopefully it was would be over quickly. It wasn’t a banquet, just lunch.

The next morning, Shen Yuan waved Binghe off when he laid out one of the nicer outer robes and two extra layers.

“Just the cream and green silk, those extras aren’t needed.” Shen Qingqiu held his ground but did let Binghe put in a fancier guan either. Any additional fussing was shut down when Shen Qingqiu requested a hearty breakfast.

“It’s unlikely the lunch will be pleasant, both because of the company and because this master has become accustomed to Binghe’s excellent cooking.”

“Shizun is too kind with his praise,” Binghe mumbled and looked at his shoes, but Shen Yuan knew his little bun was pleased. The boy hit their makeshift kitchen with a fervor, giving Shen Yuan more time to relax before the dreaded event.

Settling down with a bestiary, he hoped the comforting read would keep him from sweating through his silks. Cultivators were supposed to be able to control that sort of thing, but Shen Yuan still felt sick with nerves.

Even excellent books and Binghe’s big breakfast could delay things for so long. Soon they were leaving the safety of his bamboo courtyard.

“A-Jiu came,” Lord Yue stood when Shen Qingqiu entered alone, Binghe had to kneel outside with the other personal servants. Liu Qingge was already there too, even though Shen Yuan had made sure he had arrived slightly early. First Husband Liu was seated beside Lord Yue, and he did not stand when Shen Qingqiu arrived.

Lord Yue was smiling and Shen Yuan had to force his eyes away from the man’s gentle face.

“Wasn’t this one supposed to? If the invitation was delivered by mistake, this one can leave.” Please gods, let it be so.

“No, no, of course A-Jiu is invited. This Lord is just pleased to see his… both of his husbands.” Shen Qingqiu scoffed at the near stumble and sat stiffly at Lord Yue’s other side. Really, the arrangements left a lot to be desired. The peony room was beautiful and looked out on flower beds and a pond lively with golden koi. Instead of being spaced pleasantly apart to take advantage of the space, Lord Yue sat at the head and their tables were on either side but turned inward. They were practically atop one another. If Shen Qingqiu wanted to enjoy the view of the garden, he’d also have to look at Liu Qingge’s stony expression.

At least he wasn’t the only one displeased with the turn of events.

Tea was served, and Shen Yuan ignored the servant who almost managed to spill on his sleeve. If their plan was to spill a little tea to make him yell and carry on in a manner they deemed unreasonable, well then, he certainly wouldn’t fall for such obvious bait.

“Is Qingge still training for the upcoming tournament?” Yue Qingyuan asked pleasantly through his awful, earnest smile.

“Mm,” Liu Qingge didn’t even look up from the tea cup he was gripping too tightly

Lord Yue wasn’t put off in the slightest. “And are his disciples getting ready as well?”

“Mm.” This time the response was accompanied by the slightest of nods, and the brightness of Yue Qingyuan’s smile finally dimmed

Really? Could Shen Yuan get away with answers like that? He’d have to try…

Shen Qingqiu picked at some fruit to appear somewhat sociable. The peaches were overly ripe, which was a feat this early in the season.

“The apple trees are already lovely with blossoms. Does A-Jiu think he will begin a new painting soon?”

This man’s small talk could not be stopped.

“Perhaps, if I find the time,” Shen Qingqiu answered somewhat more diplomatically. He sipped his tea slowly, trying to delay the follow-up.

Perhaps I shall paint azure seas, standing alone upon sands that have never heard your name. And come winter, I shall paint distant peaks, and my heart will be still, knowing that you are further from me.

Liu Qingge was looking at him. What, his answer was marginally better?

Perhaps First Husband was looking for any fault so that Shen Qingqiu could be dismissed from this abysmal lunch? Should he give him a reason or is what they wanted? Did they plan this whole thing simply to punish him further?

Shen Yuan didn’t think so. Such a plot would be below the righteous protagonist. The man was well-dressed for this meeting, but his hair was in his normal, no-nonsense high pony tail. He gripped his cup too tightly and fidgeted now under Shen Qingqiu’s gaze. He didn’t look angry. Just awkward.

“Did A-Jiu have time to read the new collection from the Tonghao Poetry Association?” Yue Qingyuan didn’t sound desperate, but Shen Qingqiu thought the man was finally starting to sweat.

“This one wasn’t going to bother with it,” Shen Qingqiu answered truthfully. Those pretentious little shits weren't worth a flea's time.

Again, the tables fell into silence. Shen Qingqiu sipped his tea leisurely and refused to look back up at either man.

Lord Yue cleared his throat softly. Both of his husbands ignored him.

Damn that man. Why was even he doing this? Why did Shen Qingqiu even need to be here? He wasn’t even sure why this was happening! Shouldn’t they still be making eyes at one another and pretending the rest of the world didn’t exist? What sort of honeymoon period was this? Who invites the scum villain, ill-favored, second spouse to act as third wheel on their date?

It struck like lightning and Shen Qingqiu had to bring up his fan to hide the sudden shock on his face. Not even a month into the marriage and they were on the outs? Could that be it? Lord Yue really was an idiot. Here was the man that was everything he said he wanted, his ideal, a supplier of noble connections, the perfect spouse. And dumb Qi-ge had already turned him cold. What could come of this? How was an angry Liu spouse supposed to accentuate Lord Yue’s position?

It wasn’t lost upon Shen Qingqiu that lunch was most certainly not being eaten by anyone in attendance. Yue Qingyuan seemed to come to that realization as well, and decided to broach the final subject he’d been holding back.

“Now that the estate is more settled after the wedding, this Lord was thinking it would be an ideal time to plan for the spring banquet.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” Shen Qingqiu interrupted before he could reign himself in.

It was a terrible idea, but no one cared what he thought about it. After a long enough honeymoon period, the estate was expected to get back into the swing of things with regular political and social events. At least Liu Qingge looked to be just as appalled as Shen Qingqiu. Who wanted to deal with hosting huge, ostentatious parties in their home? Ugh, people everywhere. At least, as second husband, planning such events wasn’t Shen Qingqiu’s job anymore

“We must be mindful of our position. And this Lord would like A-Jiu to help Qingge in the planning. Since A-Jiu is more experienced with these things.”

Spit takes are not allowed, Shen Yuan reminded himself while setting down his tea cup forcefully. His replacement needed training? He was to train the noble, perfect Liu Qingge? How was that supposed to work? The man would never listen to anything he said. As a true noble, wasn’t he supposed to know better anyway?

“This second husband doesn’t think his advice would be appreciated. It would be better for First Husband Liu to receive such guidance from his family. Perhaps First Husband’s esteemed grandmother can spare some staff to assist in the planning?” There. Take that. Shen Qingqiu will not be drawn into whatever piss poor attempt this is to make peace or make war, both of which could equally be the result of this unwanted collaboration.

He could see it now. The Spring Banquet, presented in collaboration by the War God and Scum Villain. Battle your way to the desserts through a horde of water ghosts. Double-check your finger foods for deadly poison. Duel with the host under the full moon and blackmail your mother-in-law under the cherry blossoms. What an event. Worst collab ever.

Shen Yuan was pulled from his thoughts. They both looked disappointed? What in the hells was going on? Liu Qingge’s neutral look was already half frown; seeing 100% mode put little frown lines all over his pretty boy face just seemed wrong. So out of character!

“This Lord disagrees. I would like Qingge and A-Jiu to plan it together.” Perhaps trying to soften the blow of the order, Yue Qingyuan put back on his carefree smile and said, “It will be fun.”

Oh, fuck this man.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

This was really happening. Shen Qingqiu felt his face twitch behind his fan. He tried to force himself to relax, to look like the untouchable immortal he was. But then his eyebrows twitched upward before he could correct himself. It was really too much to be asked to play nice, train, and host his replacement.

At least Liu Qingge looked just as awkward sitting across from him.

True to his threat, Yue Qingyuan had asked them to start planning the spring banquet. He’d even offered his own rooms as a meeting place, likely as perceived neutral ground.

Shen Qingqiu thought it the best compromise in a shitty situation and accepted, but Liu Qingge surprised them both when he announced he was fine meeting in Shen Qingqiu’s rooms.

“Since I’ve already inconvenienced you with the planning, we can meet wherever you want,” Liu Qingge had muttered while taking in his somewhat bare receiving room. The Shen Yuan reselling whirlwind had hit this room hard. Several pieces of the calligraphy had been from Yue Qingyuan’s own hand. There had also been a painting he’d received as a belated wedding gift. But it was fine, he could definitely pull off ascetic scholar now.

Shen Qingqiu served the tea to give his hands something else to do. Was this really an attempt to make amends? Shen Qingqiu was cautious, but also cautiously optimistic. He knew the Liu Qingge in the book didn’t have a duplicitous bone in his body And so far, except the changes he himself had enacted, this world seemed to follow what he remembered of the book quite closely. Who would have thought he could have won First Husband Liu over to his court? Perhaps with his backing, he could help convince Lord Yue to dissolve the marriage amicably.

“I think we should stick with something simple,” Shen Qingqiu began after a small sip of tea. Liu Qingge didn’t seem immediately offended at a lack of faith in his hosting abilities, so Shen Qingqiu continued, “Lady Wen always goes over the top. The Ning estate will be hosting their event closest to our chosen day. She will plan something garish and can come off as desperate.” Shen Qingqiu watched Liu Qingge’s face carefully; he wasn’t sure how careful he needed to be when discussing other noble houses with the First Husband. The Liu clan was huge, and Shen Qingqiu was pretty sure one of Liu Qingge’s cousins was a consort to Lord Ning.

“So, not only will it work well for our limitations, but something more private and traditional will always look more elegant when compared to those who only know how to throw money around.”

“That… sounds fine,” Liu Qingge said. Shen Qingqiu waited but the man followed it up with nothing else. A man of few words, indeed.

“I think we should have a limited list of guests, certain associates of Lord Yue always bring too many companions anyway. We can establish a loose theme, so the main garden will serve just fine, and we can have an assortment of flowers without needing the time to cultivate specific plantings. The banquet itself can be set up in the garden itself, and the entertainment…”

“Wait, but what about the theme?” Liu Qingge interrupted, looking baffled at Shen Qingqiu’s very general outline.

“Simply spring, and no doubt Lady Wen with go with first bloom of pink or golden sunrises and blushing skies. We’ll stick with a simple green, and whatever is already blooming naturally will make a lovely backdrop.” And the gardeners won’t slack when it comes down from the new First Husband. Hm, maybe this would work. Shen Qingqiu could order the changes, and Liu Qingge could be his doll-faced enforcer.

“But what colors do we have to wear?” Liu Qingge asked.

“No matching, this isn’t prom,” Shen Qingqiu snapped before he could catch himself. “Strict color themes aren’t necessary, just think ‘spring’ and you’ll be fine.” The man still looked lost, so Shen Qingqiu threw him a bone, “You can arrange to have complimentary hair crowns or ribbons with Lord Yue, if you like.”

“What are you going to wear then?” he demanded.

“Green,” Shen Qingqiu replied simply. He did have an abundance of it, and he certainly wouldn’t be spending any of his money on something new for this dumpster fire of a banquet.

Planning the spring banquet with Liu Qingge was more like delicately ordering him around and getting him to agree to it. It wasn’t that painful, but much as Shen Qingqiu expected after their first meeting, he was doing most if not all of the planning and letting First Husband Liu carry out his orders to the staff. And really, that did work just fine with Shen Qingqiu. The staff jumped when Liu Qingge barked. No one dared call him unreasonable or fussed about his “place”. So it was quite nice to get to stay behind the scenes and see their, well his, plans develop without push back.

That Shen Yuan could plan a fancy shindig without breaking a sweat had apparently only surprised himself. Thank the gods for whatever this memory or instinct thing was. Sometimes he felt lost in a sea of foreign memories and feelings. Other times he felt just like himself except in really expensive cosplay. It was wild, and thinking too hard about it never failed to produce a migraine. So for now, he was just trying to coast through his responsibilities while keeping himself and Binghe on track with their savings and skills. His little bun was really growing. His swordsmanship was nothing to sneeze at. Perhaps this alliance with Liu Qingge could extend to disciple swaps? Not permanently, but the man was an expert, and Shen Yuan thought Binge could really thrive with that sort of instruction at hand.

Oddly enough, Binghe had been adamant about not being trained by Liu Qingge. Even when Shen Qingqiu had assured him it was just a thought and only be for a few lessons, Luo Binghe avowed that he would always prefer his Shizun’s teaching. Such a filial boy.

Sure enough, Shen Qingqiu’s theories on Madam Wen going all out, enough so to make her event a laughing stock, had proven correct. When Lord Yue’s invitations had gone out, she’d moved her event up to three days before. However, there wasn’t much overlap with the guest list since Lord Yue had bowed to their plans and kept the list short and sweet. The only unplanned additions had been Liu Qingge’s family members, which Lord Yue had insisted upon even with First Husband Liu had seemed rather embarrassed by it.

But it was panning out perfectly. Their music troupe had already arrived in the capitol without incident. Shen Qingqiu knew better now, after years of experience, from hiring anyone local. They always seemed to be mysteriously double-booked and only alerted him to that fact a handful of days before the event. The flowers were blooming in nearly perfect unison. No one had hid an animal carcass anywhere in the garden to add a putrid scent to the lovely scene. The kitchen staff hadn’t dared meddle with First Husband Liu’s menu in the slightest, let alone suggest alterations that would have completely gone against the simple theme.

Lord Yue had actually shown an iota of sense and produced three similarly designed hair crowns for them each to wear. Of course, the loveliest guan was for the first husband; his camellias were sculpted in the thinnest rose gold and highlighted with tear drop rubies. Yue Qingyuan’s gilded peonies were less ornate but still provided a whimsical touch to his more stately robes. Shen Qingqiu was going to rejoice in selling his once the party was over. The jasmine flowers were clunky, the metal too thick to capture the delicate petals. The pearls in it seemed arranged haphazardly, making the piece unbalanced. He supposed he should be grateful it wasn’t dandelions or pig weeds or that he was even included in the family theme at all. But the heavy, ugly thing was going to conflict with his simple green and bamboo motif.

Game day arrived and Shen Qingqiu refused to be nervous. He might have swooped around like a parrot on uppers, but he got the job done. Being the first husband’s lackey, even when First Husband wasn’t around to back up the claims, was still easier than being the scum villain. Servants who would have walked away, pretending to never hear his orders, practically tripped over themselves to be useful.

As the evening hour arrived and carriages were approaching the manor, Shen Qingqiu got a little nervous. Binghe was out front helping with the horses and directing the guests’ servants to the kitchens for their own meals. Lord Yue was in his place, waiting to greet his esteemed guests into his home. But where was the first husband that was to be by his side?

“Where is he?”

“Has A-Jiu seen…?”

They interrupted each other. Lord Yue smiled fondly, but Shen Qingqiu refused to accept any gesture of comradery from him.

“This one shall check his quarters,” he said with a huff and a swirl of green robes. He had held enough clothing back from the purge to make a good enough showing tonight. But after the banquet, these silk outer robes were also making a one-way trip to the pawn shop. Lord Yue had had the gall to compliment them. They were simply too ornate to be of any use. Though the small shell buttons did manage to tie into his hideous flower guan.

Shen Qingqiu swooped into First Husband Liu quarters without announcement. Surrounded by the handful of his disciples that would be attending tonight, the finely dressed and styled First Husband was busily oiling a sword.

“What an awful test of luck,” She Qingqiu snapped, stomping over to the preoccupied First Husband.

“What is?” the oblivious man asked. Shen Qingqiu nearly had a conniption until he realized the man was kneeling on a silken cushion and not kneeling on the bare ground in his fine silks.

“Playing with sword oil while dressed for a banquet. One wrong move and First Husband will be hours late as he changes into something else,” Shen Qingqiu supplied.

“Is that a threat?” One of the younger girls snapped at him. Shen Qingqiu rolled his eyes and ignored her.

“Come, Lord Yue is waiting for you so that he can greet his guests.” Shen Qingqiu gestured impatiently while Liu Qingge still knelt, but at least he had put the sword oil away.

“Must I?” Liu Qingge asked. Shen Yuan had to stop himself from pinching the bridge of his nose. Was this the First Husband, protagonist supreme or some spoiled brat-child dragging his feet when it was time for lessons?

“Yes, you must! And you all, what are you doing lazing about while your master makes himself late? Get him up, get going!” Shen Qingqiu snapped his fan into his palm, and the sudden slap had the intended effect as First Husband Liu and his disciples stood and filed out of their quarters. Shen Qingqiu followed behind, feeling like a sheep dog as he muttered about their tardiness and snapped his fan whenever he felt they were slowing down.

“Ah Qingge, there are you,” Lord Yue smiled genuinely when he beheld his punctuality-challenged husband. Shen Qingqiu didn’t wait around to hear the rest of the exchange, already knowing all would be forgiven even if guests had been kept waiting at the gates for no good reason.

“Why isn’t he greeting the guests with us?” he heard Liu Qingge ask as Shen Qingqiu effectively fled the display of their marital compatibility.

Further inspection of the venue proved to be unnecessary. The musicians had started a slow, lovely piece once the Lord and his First Husband were in place. Guests would enter after the reception to a garden accompanied by the soft music, spring flowers and incense sweetening the grounds, and paper lanterns guiding them to their seats under the blossoming trees. A simple venue, but perfectly arranged and capturing the essence of spring.

And it did all go according to plan. Guests arrived, they murmured appreciatively, and mingled as they leisurely made their way to their seats. Shen Qingqiu watched it all from the sidelines. There was really nothing for him to do, no one would want to greet him. He kept away, pretending to be monitoring staff, but it was close enough to hear more than once what a lovely party First Husband Liu had arranged.

Of course, he knew he shouldn’t be surprised. And if anything had gone wrong, it would have been the failure of Second Husband Shen.

The garden grew fuller and only then did Shen Qingqiu mingle to the best of his ability. There were some snide comments, to which he replied as graciously as he could. He kept telling himself it didn’t matter. He wouldn’t be here much longer. And who cared about these 2D nothings? It was all a book. It wasn’t real.

Finally, it seemed everyone had arrived. Truthfully, this is the part he had dreaded the most. Letting his shame and loss be displayed to all. As Lord Yue and First Husband made their way to their seats to officially open the banquet, Shen Qingqiu fell in behind them. He was seated with them, and perhaps he ought to be grateful to have a seat at all. Not in his former place, not beside Lord Yue. But next to and somewhat behind Liu Qingge. The spot for secondary spouses.

Shen Qingqiu tried to shrug it off. None of this was real.

He didn’t hear Lord Yue’s welcoming words, but raised his glass accordingly and let his long sleeves drape over the dainty cup. The alcohol only touched his lips during the toast.

Servants came with the initial dishes and more wine. Now it would be the long slough. Shen Qingqiu dissected his dishes during the echoing toasts and boasts other Lords and their retinues offered. It was easy to make it appear that he was eating, and the servants surely would never complain about one table with more on it for them to pick through. He only had to look up occasionally, appear attentive, and wait it all out.

The only benefit to this unnatural seating arrangement was that Lord Yue could not easily speak to him. And of course, First Husband Liu had nothing to say to him as well, although it was unnerving to find the man glancing his way several times during the meal.

After the initial waves of toasting died down and enough dishes had been presented for the food to becoming boring, more guests rose to visit other tables and walk the gardens.

Lord Yue also rose, and Shen Qingqiu followed his movement. Where ever he went, Shen Qingqiu planned on going in the opposite direction. The new goal was now to avoid the worst people all night. Extra points awarded for avoiding Prince Jin.

But it was not meant to be. His plans unraveled alarmingly fast.

While Shen Qingqiu was certainly avoiding everyone and everything he could, he took great pains to make it seem otherwise. Small groups were greeted, small actions took his attention, lingering was minimized. A perfect act to appear engaged when the goal was to avoid engagement.

He knew Liu Qingge lacked any refinement, but this was never more apparent than in social settings. Not even a half shichen into the mess, the man brazenly fled, and after a shocked pause, Shen Qingqiu went after him, though at a more sedate pace.

“And what is First Husband Liu doing?” Finally catching him in one of the corridors, Shen Qingqiu hissed, grasping the fleeting man’s elbow to keep him still. The man couldn’t even respond. That damn hair crown was as askance as a goose in a snow storm. His face was flushed and his eyes kept darting away from Shen Qingqiu’s. He looked entirely too ruffled, more like a bullied maiden and not the supreme protagonist he was supposed to be!

Alarmed, Shen Qingqiu reached lower for his wrist and felt his qi. It felt…ok, but before he could try to discern anymore the man tore his arm from his grasp.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine.” Liu Qingge’s statement wasn’t very convincing. He tried to straighten his guan, but it still looked a tangled wreak.

“Let this second husband fix it,” Shen Qingqiu offered soothingly. He felt like he was calming a hot-blooded horse.

Gently, he freed and crooked hair crown, and he carefully brushed the hair back into place with his fingers before trying to reinsert the guan.

“Why did First Husband leave the party? Was it to find a servant to fix your hair?” Shen Qingqiu asked as he worked.

“No.”

Shen Qingqiu waited, then looked at the man when he remained silent. Really, in what universe was that an answer?

“There, it’s fixed,” Shen Qingqiu stepped back. Liu Qingge still didn’t respond and Shen Qingqiu found himself floundering as well, allowing the moment to stretch into awkwardness. Which was really saying something since he had just finger-brushed his Lord’s first husband’s hair in a deserted alcove at an important party. Really, the stories people could tell.

“Does First Husband want to go back to the party together?” Shen Qingqiu prompted.

“You’ve avoided us all night,” the man finally spoke, and Shen Qingqiu wished he hadn’t.

“You’ve been engaged. This second husband did not wish to hoover and be a bother,” he bullshitted. Liu Qingge looked somewhat ashamed, so maybe he believed him? Really First Husband Protagonist, stop worrying about this scum villain so much and worry about forging your own path to a happily ever after.

“Lord Yue had to greet Prince Jin and one of his…personal disciples started talking with our Lord Husband,” Liu Qingge spoke slowly, and Shen Qingqiu let him even though they really should be moving back to the party. People were bound to think the scum villain was making a move, attacking the precious First Husband Liu under their very noses.

“Yes, it’s a party. People do talk, and Prince Jin has a big retinue.” Shen Qingqiu wanted to be patient, but get to the point, man. They’d be assembling a search party soon for the protagonist, and Shen Qingqiu did not want to be caught in this situation, or really any situation since his haters had the uncanny ability to turn even the most innocent of interactions into attempted murder and/or high treason.

Liu Qingge huffed, “Yes, but she was flirting with our Lord.” Poor First Husband looked scandalized and Shen Qingqiu had to hold in a laugh.

“Yes, but Prince Jin’s household has attacked Lord Yue’s interests in several bald-faced ways.” Not even Lord Yue was dumb enough to fall for such an obvious honey pot. Shen Qingqiu wasn’t even going to get into the drugging and attempted drowning, which Prince Jin had never apologized for and Lord Yue had never truly acknowledged.

“And most importantly, she doesn’t have a snowflake’s chance in hell. Lord Yue’s interests lay solely with the masculine persuasion. She couldn’t take Lord Yue’s eyes from First Husband with a knitting needle,” Shen Qingqiu consoled. Liu Qingge didn’t look convinced but really, they needed to get back out there. The sharks were going to scent blood, if they hadn’t already.

“If First Husband finds himself in unpalatable company, he need only make an excuse and find a friendlier face to converse with,” Shen Qingqiu soothed, hoping his words and slight smile would help calm the jittery man. “Your esteemed aunt is attending, yes? And two of you cousins? First Husband should fall back on his family for social support, if needed.”

And what was with that sour look on the protagonist’s perfect face? Ignoring it, Shen Qingqiu seized Liu Qingge’s elbow once again to steer him back out into the party.

Disaster averted, but it was still going to be a long night. Shen Qingqiu longed for coffee.

It was too ungodly early to be awake. Only a few days after the spring banquet, and Shen Qingqiu was still exhausted from it. The nightmares didn’t’ help. At least everyone was still too busy to bother him. It was just him and Binge again in their own little universe. Simple, just the way he liked it.

Shen Qingqiu might have been examining his face too closely in the bronze mirror when Binghe burst into his rooms.

“Shizun! Something’s wrong in First Husband’s courtyard!” The boy was red in the face, likely having run from clear across the estate.”

Shen Qingqiu called Xiu Ya to him and gestured for Binge to follow. The hallways outside his courtyard were deserted, which was the norm around his bamboo courtyard. But with his cultivator-enhanced hearing, he could hear something off in the distance. It sounded like screams.

“What happened?” he demanded as they moved quickly through the halls towards the First Husband’s courtyard.

“This servant heard yelling when he came back from his errand. One of First Husband Liu’s servants was saying First Husband was attacking them. That people were hurt and trapped and First Husband Liu had gone crazy,” Binge said in a rush as he kept pace with Shen Qingqiu.

Shit, shit, shit, how could Shen Yuan have forgotten this? It was a pivotal turning point in the book. The stress of his new marital life had sent the original protagonist into a violent qi deviation. Something about his cultivation path, while not requiring strict celibacy, still not responding the best to the sudden onslaught of carnal activities.

As they approached the doors to the courtyard, what were clearly screams could be heard on the other side.

“Go and fetch Healer Mu,” Shen Qingqiu demanded as they stood before the closed doors.

“But Shizun!” the boy protested. Lightly, Shen Qingqiu slapped the back of his head.

“Now is not the time for filial theatrics. This is an emergency and a healer is needed. Lord Yue is not here to assist, and Binghe is the fastest servant,” Shen Qingqiu said as he slipped through the doors, silently closing them behind him in the face of his distraught disciple.

There was blood, but not as much as Shen Qingqiu had feared. Broken practice swords and pieces of clothing were scattered about on the ground. Several servants were cowering in the corner on the far end, too far to easily reach the doors and escape.

Liu Qingge was there as well, striped down to a few layers and raging against some flower pots he found offensive. His skin was mottled red, the veins standing out starkly on his face. As he turned to face the new threat, Shen Qingqiu could see how his eyes were rolled back into his head and the few clothes he did have on were wet with sweat.

Yue Qingyuan, you dog.

“Get clear of here once’s he’s distracted,” Shen Qingqiu shouted at the servants. And then Liu Qingge was on him.

Xiu Ya blocked the frantic swing with ease, but it was just the first of a hundred furious blows raining down on Shen Qingqiu. He gritted his teeth and blocked what he could and tried to move away from the doors. Liu Qingge growled and snapped his teeth like a mad dog, but faithfully followed where Shen Qingqiu led.

No matter how much he trained, the real thing was always going to be different. The irregularities of Liu Qingge’s moves made it easier to dodge him, but the unpredictable nature had Shen Qingqiu on edge. He blocked blow after blow, but couldn't gain enough of an upper hand to push Liu Qingge back.

And then he fucked up. Like lightning and fire, Cheng Luan struck his shoulder, cleanly slicing through the flesh.

How can cold metal burn like that? Shen Qingqiu thought as he pulled away suddenly, stumbling back when the blade jerked free. Xiu Yu barely blocked the next strike.

“Shizun!” the pathetic cry echoed throughout the courtyard and drew Liu Qingge’s attention back to the entryway.

Idiot child!

Shen Qingqiu lunged for Liu Qingge, knocking Cheng Luan aside and grappling the larger man to the ground. He wouldn’t have been able to hold him down for long, but forcing his qi into the struggling man made Liu Qingge shudder, like one giant earthquake under this skin, then go still.

For one terrible instance, Shen Qingqiu thought he was dead. But Liu Qingge’s qi moved under his hands, the furious roil subsiding into a more natural flow under Shen Qingqiu’s gentle guidance.

Huh, they were strangely compatible, both having a wood root. Perhaps this would assist with his healing. Shen Yuan remembered that the protagonist had been laid up in bed for weeks after this incident, even with Lord Yue’s care. But before he could reflect upon this odd coincidence or ask Binge for an update on the healer, he was attacked from behind.

The blow was hard and landed along his back and side. Shen Qingqiu flew across the courtyard and immediately was scrabbling in the dirt to pull himself up and face this new attacker.

All the fight drained from him when he saw Yue Qingyuan standing over Liu Qingge, glaring at Shen Qingqiu and gripping his still sheathed sword.

“A-Jiu, how could you?” the man shouted. Shen Qingqiu’s guts were a mix of ice and fire.

He tried to pull himself up again, ignoring the blood now soaking through his robes and the sharp pain in his side. God damn, had he survived the War God to get murdered by his own faithless husband?

It took him a moment to get his feet under him, and though he wanted to stride out of the courtyard without sparing that awful, heartless fool a word, said fool was between him and the exit. Lord Yue had also scooped his beloved first husband up into his arms. With Shen Qingqiu’s luck, Yue Qingyuan would stab him if he made a wrong move.

“What did you do to him?” Lord Yue asked, aghast. Shen Qingqiu held in his shriek of outrage. Sure, Liu Qingge did look rough, stripped down to two layers and covered in dust and sweat. But none of the blood was his. His skin, while pale, didn’t look as bad as it had during the qi deviation. And with his eyes peacefully closed, he didn’t look like a raving beast any longer.

“Nothing, this one arrived after First Husband Liu started attacking his servants,” Shen Qingqiu ground out. He stood stiffly, Xiu Ya still at his side though he’d have given anything for a fan at this moment.

“He didn’t do this,” Liu Qingge gasped from Yue Qingyuan’s arms, and both were shocked the man had regained consciousness.

“Qingge!” Yue Qingyuan whined, pulling the man closer to his body.

Shen Qingqiu was done with them both. As quickly as his bruised body could, he retreated from the courtyard.

“A-Jiu, wait please!” Lord Yue called out, but Shen Qingqiu didn’t even turn to acknowledge the plea.

“This one asked his servant to go for the healer earlier and will check on the progress of that request,” Shen Qingqiu shouted over his shoulder as he escaped.

Outside said servant was already kneeling. He wanted to scruff the properly contrite Binghe and drag him back to their quarters, but without the adrenaline holding him up, his arms felt like putty.

“Did you ever bother to think there was a reason for my request? And now this master will have to fetch Healer Mu himself, covered in blood,” Shen Qingqiu growled at his servant, who thankfully got to his feet to follow his injured master.

“This servant disobeyed and should be punished. But First Husband Liu’s disciples already went for the healer! Yang Yixuan told me he couldn’t go himself because he broke his foot,” Binghe provided as they slowly made their way back to their courtyard.

Shen Qingqiu knew he needed to attend to his wound and change, but it took everything not to collapse into his bed.

“Go and fetch water so this master can clean up,” he ordered.

Binghe hesitated and Shen Qingqiu felt his entire face twitch as his eyes narrowed on the boy.

“Does Shizun need a healer too?” the boy asked meekly.

“No, your shizun needs a disciple who obeys,” and doesn’t get him skewered like tanghulu with his disobedience.

Finally, the boy jumped to obey. Shen Qingqiu sat down carefully while he waited. Once he was clean, he would bind the wound. And once that was taken care of, he would sleep. And when he awoke, he would leave this place for good.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Ah the best laid plans. Shen Yuan was sore as fuck in the morning. Maybe the bruising was slow to heal because he was so out of it after yesterday. He hadn’t really completed transferring his qi to the deviating Liu Qingge, but he had shared quite a bit before being punted across the courtyard. So he let Binghe spoil him a bit that morning when he finally decided he was ready to leave the comfort of his bed.

Shen Qingqiu did his best to do more than pick at the spread the boy had laid out in front of him. And really, Binghe’s cooking deserved his undivided attention. The boy was just too good, especially considering their limited implements.

“Shizun, this one was going to the market to stock up on some supplies,” his disciple spoke from across the breakfast table. It was just easier to eat together.

“After you practice your calligraphy,” Shen Qingqiu reminded him.

“Shizun,” the boy started to whine. Such big puppy dog eyes ought to be illegal.

“First Husband looked unimpressed with my sitting room,” Shen Qingqiu said as he swirled his last youtiao in the soy milk. He might have taken too long taking a bite, letting the boy try to figure out where this was going. But the fresh food Luo Binghe had prepared just for him made it difficult to tease him too long.

“I agree that the room is lacking in decoration. So this master will display Binghe’s calligraphy in the main sitting room.” Shen Qingqiu tried not to be too satisfied with the look of horror that overcome the boy’s face.

“Shizun, no! This lowly one’s calligraphy isn’t good enough to be displayed!” The boy looked like he was on the brink on crying. No more crocodile tears now that a real threat was on the table.

“Then this master supposes Binghe should practice…”

“Please excuse this disciple!” Binghe didn’t even wait for his say-so before dashing off into the study. They’d set up is own desk across from Shen Qingqiu’s so the boy wasn’t distracted by whatever strange talisman he was testing and Shen Qingqiu didn’t have an aneurysm looking at the messy brushstrokes.

“So diligent,” Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but smirk at the abrupt exit. He cleared both of their places himself, placing the dishes in their little cleaning trough they’d set up in the courtyard. Maids rarely came to clean his rooms, and if one did, he sent her away. It was better he and Binghe suffer a little inconvenience than allow rats in their midst. Leftovers went into the little stone “food safe” as Binghe liked to call it. His xianxia fridge was a work in progress, but his talismans had been painstakingly drawn and redrawn before he had etched them into the stone. The result kept food cool enough to not spoil for a few days.

Talismans were definitely going to be his career path of choice.

Shen Qingqiu was pleased to see his shoulder has stopped bleeding when he re-wrapped his bandages. It was still ungodly sore, but not as sore as his ribs. The blade has gone in cleanly, but he himself had probably made more of mess of it by pulling himself off. He just wasn’t badass enough to use his flesh to trap the blade while trying to pass qi. Then again, with Liu Qingge’s ungodly strength, the man might have just ripped it out himself. Ouch, yeah, maybe Shen Qingqiu was glad he took the initiative.

With Binghe occupied and the estate sure to be quiet while everyone was on pins and needles with worry about the poor first husband, Shen Qingqiu decided to move to the music room to spend his lazy afternoon. He hadn’t practiced in some time, but it seemed like it might be relaxing to do so now.

Perhaps he would accompany Binghe to the market to search for a new series later. While he was pleased to find serial publications in this xianxia world, the last series he’d finished has been a dumpster fire. He knew there wasn’t much competition out there, but have some fucking standards, people.

If only editorial work paid well enough.

Shen Qingqiu warmed up slowly. His ribs were a dull, constant ache while seated at the guqin, but he was more worried about his shoulder. He’d stop if it got too bad, but maybe a few songs would help stretch it out.

Really, he wasn’t planning on fanboying, but some modern songs did just sound amazing on the guqin. He experimented a bit before really getting into the OP for a romance series his mei mei had really loved. Apparently the novel was huge. Shen Yuan had meant to try it out before his untimely demise.

He didn’t really want to think of romance right now. Not with his broken marriage, but well, it was a beautiful piece. And he really hadn’t meant to start singing, but as long as it was quiet, it wouldn’t disturb Binghe.

“Turning around, we had no partings across this long road,” Shen Qingqiu crooned and let the last note die slowly. God, he needed to switch it up. Playing heart-breakingly beautiful, romantic music wasn’t for the soon to be divorced.

The shuffling caught his attention, and he assumed it was just Binghe come to listen in when he should be studying. Shen Qingqiu dabbed at his eyes before smiling and turning to confront his little truant.

Except it wasn’t Binghe.

The smile froze into something much like a snarl, and he rose more quickly than his aching ribs would like.

“A-Jiu’s playing is as lovely as ever. Did he compose that piece?” Lord Qingyuan asked as he stood awkwardly by the doors, wisely uncertain of his welcome.

“No, I heard it somewhere.” Shen Qingqiu wasn’t a big enough jerk to take credit for something that wasn’t his.

“Regardless, A-Jiu plays beautifully,” Lord Yue said as he stepped into the music room.

This bold piece of shit. Shen Qingqiu wanted to yell until he was red in the face, but thanks to this fucker, it would be hell on his ribs.

“Why is Lord Yue here? I would think you’d still be camped out at the bedside of poor First Husband,” Shen Qingqiu couldn’t scream, but he could hiss just fine.

“Qingge has woken, and Healer Mu says he will be fine thanks to A-Jiu’s intervention,” the man said with a stupid smile. He probably meant it to be placating, but Shen Qingqiu wanted to slap it off his face.

“And this one wanted to apologize to A-Jiu, for his incorrect assumptions and…”

“Not accepted, you can leave,” Shen Qingqiu cut him off.

Finally, the stupid smile did slide right off his face. Was it really that shocking that he wouldn’t accept a half-assed apology for spousal abuse?

“A-Jiu,” he started again, but Shen Qingqiu had had enough and turned to leave through the patio. He wasn’t running, it was a strategic retreat!

“Please don’t waste time on this second husband. I’m sure First Husband Liu is anxiously awaiting your return,” Shen Qingqiu spat as he fled across the garden, a determined Lord Yue following behind him.

“A-Jiu, please let me speak. I didn’t intend to strike you. I overacted when I saw you over Qingge,” Lord Yue said from too closely behind Shen Qingqiu.

Shen Qingqiu spun around and slapped away the hand that was raised to grip his shoulder. “So what if Lord Yue didn’t intend to punt this one across First Husband’s courtyard? Do you expect to get a free pass since it’s your first instance of domestic abuse?”

Yue Qingyuan flinched back as if struck. His voice actually quivered, as if he was near tears, “Please, A-Jiu.”

“No,” Shen Qingqiu replied simply.

“There must be something I can do to prove how regretful I am. Please, A-Jiu, just tell me what I can do to make it up to you?” There were actual tears on his face now, but thankfully he hadn’t tried to touch him again.

Shen Qingqiu tried to take a deep, calming breath. A shouting match would accomplish nothing. He needed to bring the temperature down and take advantage of that blank check Lord Yue just offered so thoughtlessly. This might be his chance. With how they’d carried on in his courtyard, if he had servants beyond Binghe, a scandal would already be brewing. Surely Yue Qingyuan would see that, in time, a divorce would be to his benefit too?

“It only natural that we’ve grown apart since you’ve taken another spouse,” Shen Qingqiu began his planned speech, and raised his hand to keep Lord Yue from interrupting him.

“This one believes the natural progression would be to dissolve the marriage. Then Lord Yue need not worry about this one disrupting his peaceful home life, and he can then utilize the bamboo courtyard for future, more appropriate spouses,” Shen Qingqiu spoke as calmly as he could with his heart vibrating like a plucked guqin string. And fuck, his ribs really did hurt now.

Lord Yue looked baffled for a moment, and the horrified as the realization of what Shen Qingqiu was asking for sank in. “No, no, that’s not possible,” he choked back a sob, and Shen Qingqiu took a step back. Shit, not the reaction he had hoped for.

Snatching a fan from a nearby garden bench, Shen Qingqiu snapped it into place over much of his lower face. “It’s entirely possible. Lord Yue only need sign the divorce papers and register them with the ministry,” Shen Qingqiu said coolly.

The man fucking fell to his knees before him, openly sobbing now, and Shen Qingqiu did not know what the fuck to do. Your main love interest is sick in bed, why is Lord Yue even here? This is not how the plot works at all!

“I regret raising a hand to A-Jiu, it will never happen again,” Lord Yue promised through his tears. Really, could Shen Qingqiu just run away again? No one wanted to see Lord Yue on his knees in the dirt, and his chest really hurt now. Maybe the bruises were even deeper than he had thought.

“That’s nice. But this one hasn’t been happy here for a long time.” Lord Yue sucked in a breath so suddenly it sounded like he would choke on the air. “And neither has Lord Yue! A divorce, handled cordially, would benefit us both,” Shen Qingqiu tried again as he kept his eyes about six inches above the groveling man’s head. Sobbing faces would waver anyone’s resolve.

“Please, A-Jiu, just give me one more chance,” the man in the dirt cried.

“Why? Nothing will change. Lord Yue scorns this second husband, takes everyone’s word over his own, starves him, dishonors him, and now beats him publicly after his first husband stabbed him. What could possibly change?” Shen Qingqiu shouted.

A sob echoed through the garden. “Please, what can this Lord do to make things like they were before?”

Shen Qingqiu made the mistake of looking at him. How dare he look like that. As if he was the one betrayed and thrown aside. If it was possible to look even more destroyed, Lord Yue did. Still on his knees with tears openly streaming down his face, he looked as if he’d seen a ghost. Or something infinitely worst since cultivators did deal with ghosts rather easily. But really, why could this bother him so much when he still had his true love, Liu Qingge?

“Before? Before you betrayed me, by act and by word, and demonstrated to be me how utterly worthless you think this one is? That before? When you nearly let me drown in the palace and didn’t speak up for fear of offending Lord Jin? When you flirted with General Pei’s young cousin in front of this one? When you refused to let this one, who was first husband, control the staff? Or even have enough staff of his own to accomplish daily tasks? When you watched consort Qi trip over her own feet at the dance, and said nothing when she accused me?” Shen Qingqiu felt sick at his own words, but there was no stopping the flow of grievances anymore. “I assure Lord Yue, that before was also a living nightmare.”

Lord Yue looked stricken. And really Shen Qingqiu wasn’t doing so good himself, caught off guard by his own outburst. Shit he hadn’t meant to let that all out. Embarrassed at the tears he felt burning in his own eyes, he spun to leave, ignoring how Yue Qingyuan called out for him.

The wide eyes of his disciple were the first thing awaiting Shen Qingqiu went he retreated inside.

“Not now,” Shen Qingqiu waved him off. All he wanted to do was fall into bed and pretend this day never happened. Or the last one too for that matter.

Thankfully, the boy obeyed, even if he did return to refill the bedside pitcher with fresh water and light the braziers. Shen Qingqiu didn’t acknowledge him and just stayed in bed the rest of the day.

“No,” Shen Qingqiu said as soon as he saw Yue Qingyuan’s mournful face at the entrance to his courtyard. God, was the man lurking? Days later and could he still not take a hint? Nothing in this world was going to make Shen Qingqiu talk about feelings again.

“This Lord was told that A-Jiu had sent Healer Mu away,” Lord Yue said from the entrance, wisely not daring to take a step inside this time.

“There was no need to waste Healer Mu’s time. The wound from First Husband’s sword is healing, and despite Lord Yue’s best attempts, he didn’t break anything.”

Lord Yue sucked in a breath. Shen Qingqiu hoped it would be the end of it, but of course, the man could not take a hint and stepped into his courtyard.

“This one wanted to check on A-Jiu personally,” Lord Yue said as he dared step even closer to Shen Qingqiu’s frozen figure.

“You’ve seen this one, in one piece despite Lord Yue’s and First Husband Liu’s best efforts,” Shen Qingqiu spat back.

“This Lord is relieved to see A-Jiu looking more like himself. This Lord wanted to ask for A-Jiu's company during a meal, and perhaps we could discuss...”

Shen Qingqiu cut him off and snapped his fan open. “No thank you. I’m still convalescing from the spousal abuse.”

“But A-Jiu is up and out of bed,” Yue Qingyuan pointed out, his patient face not betraying if the reminder of his actions still stung.

“Walking around unbothered helps,” he supplied from behind the fan.

“Qingge also wants to thank you for saving him and apologize for his own actions.” Lord Yue would not be perturbed and pulled the small gift he had purchased specifically for his injured, picky husband.

“Tell him to write a letter. And put that away, I’m not accepting any more of your poor attempts at bribery.”

“This Lord will leave this small token here for A-Jiu to inspect later,” Yue Qingyuan said patiently. He looked back at up at Shen Qingqiu, and continued hopefully, “Qingge also has a small gift for A-Jiu, and wanted to arrange a luncheon for the family so that he can thank you properly.”

For the love of all that was holy. A luncheon prepared by Liu Qingge? Shen Yuan assumed it was be barbecued meat and fighting exhibitions. Maybe some dangerous beasts would be shipped in? A King Cobradile could guard the desserts!

But no, Lord Yue had said a family lunch, so probably no entertainment. The entertainment would have to be seeing how poorly put together it all was.

And Shen Qingqiu would be lying if he said he didn’t want to see how Liu Qingge was doing. After all, the stab wound was not his fault as he hadn’t been in his right mind. Lord Yue was the only one at fault for what had happened in Liu Qingge’s courtyard, for allowing his First Husband to become so stressed he had a qi deviation, then for treating his second husband so callously. But Liu Qingge’s virtuous nature was probably eating him up, blaming himself for something that had been beyond his control.

“Fine,” Shen Qingqiu conceded. “But this one wants these daily visits to end. This master has a disciple to train and his own work to accomplish and cannot entertain Lord Yue’s constant interruptions.” At least he would get something for capitulating.

Yue Qingyuan smiled at him, wide and innocent like they were kids again, and Shen Qingqiu reminded himself that he was the heartless scum villain that could not be swayed by smiles.

He had been a fool. He’d let concern for appearance sway him. He’d let concern for fucking Liu Qingge’s fucking feelings influence him! And now he was stripped down to his inner robes, shivering in a bath filled with freezing water and absolutely losing his shit.

Shen Qingqiu hadn't been this cold since he woke up from the drowning attempt at the palace. Even with his cultivation and the burning madness in his chest demanding air, actually forcing his frozen body to head for the surface had been agony. And now, he felt the cold just as acutely with whatever fucking poison this was tearing up his meridians.

Of course, the cold did absolutely nothing to soften his rock-hard erection or the fire burning through his guts. Fuck Lord Yue and his kitchen staff. Did the man have a bastard or twelve hidden in there? This was high fucking treason! Every single one of them should be thrown out in the streets if not executed on the spot!

Lunch had started swell. No problems at all. Shen Qingqiu had gracefully accepted a new fancy quill from First Husband Liu. How sad was it that he actually liked it? His own Lord Husband couldn’t pick out an appropriate gift for him to save his life. But the pretty boy who stole said husband and had known Shen Qingqiu for less than two months had found him something he was excited to use.

And Liu Qingge apologized. He wasn’t a wordsmith, never would be, but it seemed genuine. And Shen Qingqiu had accepted it.

Perhaps they ought to both leave Lord Yue and run away together. Liu Qingge’s fighting prowess would certainly be useful when traveling the wide, wide world.

Yue Qingyuan made stilted small talk and told some tales from court. The soup dish had looked off, pinkish in color. But it didn’t smell strongly, so Shen Qingqiu couldn’t identify it. Cautious to a fault, he didn’t touch it, and ate sparingly of the other dishes he considered safe.

Lord Yue and First Husband Liu both ate the soup. Yue Qingyuan barely touched his braised duck, and Liu Qingge ate everything on his table. And somehow they all got fucking poisoned.

Shen Qingqiu was diligently minding his tea when he noticed how red-faced Liu Qingge had become. It did seem overly warm, but Shen Qingqiu hadn’t thought too much about it.

“Is First Husband Liu feeling overly warm? Perhaps we should move into the garden to finish our tea,” Shen Qingqiu had suggested, then noticed Lord Yue looked even worse.

“What is this?” Liu Qingge shattered a tea cup in his grip.

Without delay, Lord Yue called his personal disciple to his side and sent them for Healer Mu. Shen Qingqiu watched it unfolding with a sick sense of dread. Was he poisoned as well? He had only felt a little warm. But usually, well, he was the fastest, the first to act. Lifting his arm and pretending to draw a few characters, Shen Qingqiu realized he was impaired as well. His reactions were noticeably slower, his thoughts duller.

“Well shit,” he said, not caring who heard him curse.

“Be calm, both of you. Healer Mu will be here soon. Qingge, A-Jiu come here, let me feel your meridians,” Lord Yue said from his table. The man was practically panting and yet managed to get the words out.

“Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu called and the boy was at his side instantly, his eyes wide and fearful as he took in the scene.

“First Husband Liu, which disciple of yours do you find the most trustworthy?” Shen Qingqiu asked through gritted teeth. There was definitely a growing reaction now. His fingers felt numb and his teeth itchy. It was getting harder to focus.

Apparently even harder for Liu Qingge. “Huh?” the man said, slumped over his table.

“Never mind. Binghe, go to first husband’s courtyard and grab the first disciple you see that looks like he can think beyond his sword. Both of you come back here and separate out each plate on each table, label the plate and who had it. The tea and cups as well.Then save the food for Healer Mu to test, let no one else in this room,” Shen Qingqiu forced the orders out of a mouth that felt like it was filled with cotton.

“Yes, Shizun,” the boy said and ran off towards Liu Qingge’s courtyard. Good, Shen Qingqiu thought. Perhaps he had learned not to disobey, at least in perilous situations.

They had taken too long, and Lord Yue came to them. First Husband’s wrist was seized, and at first it seemed like he was going to fight the firm grip, but eventually he slumped over into their Lord Husband’s grasp, resting fully against him as if he was a puppet whose strings had suddenly been cut.

“It’s fine Qingge, just breathe for your Qi-ge,” Lord Yue whispered as he brushed sweaty strands of hair away from Liu Qingge’s brow.

“Well, fuck you Qi-ge,” Shen Qingqiu said, and couldn’t even be overly upset that he’d said it out loud. How dare he let Liu Qingge call him that. How fucking dare he!

From the concerned look he got from Yue Qingyuan, he said that part out loud too. A poison that forced truthful speech? It could be worst, at least they were safe at home and not attending some high-profile political dinner.

“No, this Lord believes it’s a poison that attacks the lower dantian,” Lord Yue said, and then he was touching Shen Qingqiu. His qi felt like warm honey sliding through his overheated meridians. Shen Qingqiu bit down on the moan that tried to escape. Shit, shit, shit, he thought and kept his teeth gritted until Lord Yue finished his examination.

“We will wait here until Healer Mu can arrive and confirm a diagnosis,” Yue Qingyuan proclaimed, then lost his lordly persona entirely as he stripped out of his outermost robe. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but follow his example and opened all the screens to the garden to try and capture a cooling breeze as Lord Qingyuan went to help his first husband. Yue Qingyuan stripped down Liu Qingge as well and helped the bewildered man lay down on the cool reed mats.

Shen Qingqiu would kick a puppy for some iced tea right about now, but settled for waving his fan lazily and trying not to think about their situation.

Liu Qingge was moaning from the ground by the time Healer Mu arrived. Shen Qingqiu had never loved the man. While he did important work, and was undeniably good at it, his presence always had Shen Qingqiu on edge. But maybe it was just the hideous little mustache.

Healer Mu went to the First Husband’s side immediately. He heard him speaking, and Lord Yue responding, but Shen Qingqiu felt as if he was floating in a hot tub turned to the max. Even cycling his qi felt like a gargantuan task. Maybe First Husband had the right idea, the floor did look rather comfortable.

Then a cool touch had him jerking back to the present. Healer Mu apologized for startling him and continued pushing a cooling trickle of his own qi into Shen Qingqiu, cycling it through his whole body before settling finally in his lower dantian.

“This healer is certain it is the Millennium Spider Rose Thistle. Only deadly if untreated.” Healer Mu finally released him, and Shen Qingqiu rubbed at the wrist he had so casually grabbed. Was that really appropriate bedside manner? Who doesn’t ask before they touch? Well, maybe the healer was just rushing because everyone was fucking poisoned.

“And the remedy?” Yue Qingyuan’s voice sounded like it came from across the courtyard and not just across the room.

The stupid little mustache twitched apologetically. “Dual cultivation will cure it the fastest. First Husband Liu is affected the most and should be treated first, while Second Husband Shen still seems capable of circulating his qi to keep the worst of the symptoms at bay. This healer will remain to check your meridians as Lord Yue is impaired as well.”

Which is how Shen Qingqiu found himself practically naked in a cold-water bath trying not to think of what was to come next.

“Shizun?” a soft voice spoke from outside the bathroom.

“Binghe is to sequester himself in his room for the remainder of the day.” Shen Qingqiu said as calmly as he could, trying to sound like a proper master and not like he was naked in the tub.

“But this one can help!” Binghe cried out, and Shen Qingqiu wanted to smack him.

“No, Binghe cannot. This master, as well as Lord Yue and First Husband Liu, were poisoned, and only dual cultivation can cure it. Binghe is a child. This master is the one responsible for keeping such, such obscenity from Binghe.” The boy sputtered from outside the door. Good, be embarrassed you little brat. “Now get out or I’ll send you to the temple to light incense for whatever god it was I must have offended to have such horrid luck.”

“This servant will be in his room, but I’ll hear Shizun if he calls this lowly one for anything…”

Damn this boy! Stop your ears with cotton! This shizun definitely doesn’t want you listening to anything!

“Get some coins from my purse and get to the temple,” Shen Qingqiu growled and the boy dashed off.

While terribly embarrassing, Binghe had still been a distraction. Now nothing kept Shen Qingqiu from focusing on the unslaked desire burning through his body. Memories of dirty books and porn he’d watched when he lived as Shen Yuan kept obtrusively pushing into the forefront of his thoughts. But there was more too. Memories of past incidents, past nights spent with Yue Qingyuan were also there. Except they didn’t feel like the ghost of a memory, it all felt real. Shen Qingqiu could feel his husband’s large hands grabbing his hips, his wet mouth sliding against his, his tight throat constricting around his cock.

Shen Qingqiu moaned when he came in the bath, completely untouched. It only made him feel worse. His cock didn’t soften at all, if anything he felt more desperate. He fisted his hands together; touching himself wouldn’t help anything. Leaning over the edge of the tub, he tried to focus once again on the cold metal.

But the memories would not be deterred. He felt the edge of his husband’s desk cutting into his gut as Qi-ge took him roughly from behind. He remembered the first time he touched himself while reading a dirty BL his mei mei had recommended. He was still embarrassed thinking of the time they’d had a quick fuck in a tent during a night hunt arranged by the first prince while surrounded by dozens of hunting parties. Overtaken but a whirlwind of sultry memories, Shen Qingqiu had the startling realization that they all were, in fact, his memories.

“A-Jiu?” Yue Qingyuan was suddenly there, kneeling beside the tub and gently feeling his wrist.

“Took you long enough,” Shen Qingqiu complained but accepted the help out of the water. His legs felt like wet noodles, and he let Lord Yue put a soft towel around him and carry him into the bedroom.

There was a murmured question as Shen Qingqiu reclined on the bed, but he couldn’t make out the words. Lord Yue’s hands carefully ran down his sides, as if afraid Shen Qingqiu would lash out at him at any moment. When there was no such response, he leaned over his husband, nuzzling at his neck before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Shen Qingqiu gasped like a schoolgirl at the kiss, and it emboldened Yue Qingyuan, who moved the towel aside and starting kissing down his body. This tongue caressed his nipple, nibbled on the softer skin near his smooth belly, and sucked on his inner thigh.

The hot breath against his straining cock was enough to drive anyone mad. “What are you doing?” Shen Qingqiu demanded and then gasped when Yue Qingyuan began mouthing along the side of his dick, leaving a wet kiss on the head when he reached the tip.

“This one doesn’t want A-Jiu to be uncomfortable,” Yue Qingyuan whispered against his hard flesh. Before Shen Qingqiu could get a word in, the man flicked his tongue over the sensitive head, lathing the sides with broad swipes before gently sucking the head fully into his mouth.

Shen Qingqiu shouted and bucked his hips rudely into that hot, beautiful mouth. Yue Qingyuan brought his hands down on his eager husband’s hips to help keep him in place, but otherwise swallowed down his cock. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t think, could only moan and grasp desperately onto the sheets, and later, Lord Yue’s hair, as the man bobbed up and down.

Every third stroke he took Shen Qingqiu to the hilt, and while he kept his breathing under control, his throat spasmed around his husband’s length, making the fit even tighter.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t last, and tried to warn the man to pull off of him. Lord Yue had other ideas, and continued sucking him down like a popsicle on a hot day.

Shen Qingqiu sank his nails into Yue Qingyuan’s shoulders as he came hard, his mouth open and gasping, back rigid. It felt like his entire life force was spurting out his dick.

He came back to himself at the feeling of a soft cloth running over him, cleaning any of the spend that had escaped the seal of Yue Qingyuan’s mouth. Only when he was relatively clean, did those hands move back to his wrist to feel his qi.

“How does A-Jiu feel now?” his Lord husband asked quietly.

“Like someone tried to suck my soul out through my cock,” Shen Qingqiu mumbled into the cool, dark space of his bedroom. Yue Qingyuan laughed and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

“Let this one help you dress. Healer Mu will need to check your qi. But I think it feels much improved.”

Shen Qingqiu wasn’t sure if he felt much improved. The burning need gripping his guts was lessened, but he still felt slow and off, like his head weighed an extra ten pounds. It was too much to just be post-coital relaxation.

Lord Yue helped him dress in soft inner robes before he laying him back down in his bed. There was some murmured words again, but Shen Qingqiu really couldn’t be bothered to make them out.

He startled awake at a soft touch on his wrist.

“…unfortunately still present,” he heard Healer Mu words, but it took several moments for the words to sink in. When he sat back up to ask if he was still poisoned, the man was already gone and he was alone in his bedroom once again.

He had the answer himself soon. Even when he tried to stay calm and circulate his qi, he felt the heat growing in his lower dantian once again. It wasn’t as maddening as before, but it was clearly still there and growing.

Before it could become unbearable again, Lord Yue was back. With a pot of lube and a worried look on his face. “Healer Mu reports that Qingge is recovering, but thinks that a more intimate coupling is what drove the poison off finally.”

Literally fucked then, Shen Qingqiu thought with a sigh.

Quickly, Yue Qingyuan stripped out of his robes, though there hadn’t been too many to being with. He climbed up on the bed beside Shen Qingqiu and brushed the hair from his face. Shen Qingqiu tried to cuddle into his stupidly warm chest, but Lord Yue turned him on side and pushed up against him from behind. His robe was rucked up to his waist, leaving him bare to allow those large hands fondle his ass.

Even with the lube and care, Yue Qingyuan had giant fingers. They stroked the pucker of his asshole gently, liberally smearing him with the lubricant. The first finger would have made Shen Qingqiu whimper if he hadn’t bitten down on his tongue. Instead, he reached behind and grabbed onto his Lord husband’s thigh.

“Fuck,” Shen Qingqiu moaned when the second one went in. Lord Yue was sucking on his neck, adding small, sweet kisses against his ear the way he knew he liked. His other hand reached over to grab Shen Qingqiu’s cock and try and distract him from the discomfort, but Shen Qingqiu batted him away. He’d come immediately if his Qi-ge stroked his cock.

His fingers still felt huge, but the rhythmic curling and stretching lulled him to relax enough that Yue Qingyuan could finally squeeze a third finger into his ass.

“God damn it,” Shen Qingqiu hissed when Yue Qingyuan twisted mercilessly against his prostate. Before he could warn him off, that’d he come immediately if he didn’t let up, the fingers were slowly pulling out of him.

The hard, hot length of his husband’s giant cock took their place. Lord Yue was a large man, but he was doubly blessed in his endowments. Carefully, he pushed his cock against the softened, stretched hole. Shen Quinqiu moaned like a whore when the fat head finally pushed in. The warm, wet slide of his husband’s cock forcing its way into him was interrupted though, and Yue Qingyuan pulled back, instead giving him small grinds and thrusts that weren’t enough to spear the entire length into Shen Qingqiu’s desperate hole.

He reached behind him, grabbing at anything and getting Lord Yue’s hand in his instead. He gripped it painfully tight, but the man only responded with more soft kisses on his neck and slow, gentle thrusts that were driving Shen Qingqiu mad.

Was the man exhausted? He’d probably already gone two or more rounds with Liu Qingge. Darting from courtyard to courtyard and climbing into a new bed to pound a new husband could be exhausting work.

If they’d all been in the same bed, for simplicity’s sake, would Lord Yue have fucked them at the same time? Five thrusts then over to the next waiting hole? It was such a lewd thought, Shen Qingqiu giggled into the pillow. Yue Qingyuan patted his flank comfortingly and continued his careful, shallow thrusts into his ass.

“Is A-Jiu ok?” Yue Qingyuan asked directly into his ear, making him shiver at the hot breath.

“No, hurry up and finish,” Shen Qingqiu whined. Gods, he felt gross. So hot, sweaty, leaking everywhere, but the warm embrace of Yue Qingyuan held him steady.

“I can’t hurry, it will hurt A-Jiu,” the man panted into his ear again, and Shen Qingqiu wanted to slam his elbow back into the man’s lying face. But he could only moan again as Yue Qingyuan finally pushed himself flush against Shen Qingqiu’s ass and got his entire cock into him.

It had been forever since they'd coupled like this, but the only burning was the poison flowing through his meridians. It took Lord Yue some time to build up to a decent pace, but encouraged by the gasps from his husband and the nails he sank into whatever convenient part he could grip, Yue Qingyuan worked them towards it, finally giving Shen Qingqiu’s ass the hard pounding needed to dispel the last of the poison.

Afterwards, he helped him clean up again, then Lord Yue lounged beside him. Shen Qingqiu was too exhausted to even think of dismissing him from his courtyard.

“Aren’t you glad you don’t have six?” Shen Qingqiu mumbled against the pillows.

“Hm? Six what?” Lord Yue asked from beside him. It was vaguely impressive the man was still awake, considering he had done, literally twice the work.

“Six consorts, like every other man of your station. If you had six, your dick would have broken off,” Shen Qingqiu offered wisely.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

Gentle morning light could just be seen through the screen, but it wasn’t filling the bedroom yet. There was still plenty of time to lounge in bed before it could be considered improper.

Lord Yue, as a powerful figure who had the ear of the emperor himself, had many things he could be doing besides lying in a bed not his. But he was content to stay, watching the sleeping form of his second husband.

After a night of passion with not one, but both of his husbands, anyone would feel the rest was well-deserved. After all, it had taken several rounds with each to clear the poison fully from his husbands’ meridians.

It still felt strange to think it. His husbands. For a decade, it had just been Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu. No matter what others said, his A-Jiu was always enough for him. Nothing else was needed. No one else could fit by his side as perfectly as his Xiao Jiu.

But eventually that stopped being true. Had they really grown apart, as A-Jiu had suggested that terrible time in his courtyard when he asked for a divorce? Or was it as Lord Yue feared, and he himself had been the one to force his A-Jiu away?

This was not how Yue Qingyuan imagined taking a second spouse would be. Sure, he knew with A-Jiu’s temperament, the adjustment period would be longer and perhaps trying. But he didn’t doubt they’d all manage in some way, because no matter what had happened before, he’d always known that his A-Jiu loved him.

Now he wasn’t so sure.

Never in a million years would he have thought his A-Jiu would petition him for a divorce. It had been like thunder from the heavens, leaving him deaf to everything else except the impossible, hateful words his husband had uttered. Lord Yue might as well cut off his own hands, pluck out his eyes, rip out his tongue; that’s how useless Qi-ge would be without his Xiao Jiu.

But A-Jiu clearly didn’t see it that way. He’d stated it so simply, so clearly as if divorce was a simple matter of the estate, like cleaning out a storage room. And now Lord Yue didn’t doubt the man had been entirely honest in his petition.

At first, Lord Yue had assumed his distance was an act to entice his errant Lord back to him. And perhaps Lord Yue had acted foolishly, but he wasn’t enough of a fool to still think any of this was an act. It was real, and he had no idea what to do to fix the mess that he himself had made of his marriage.

Lord Yue was suspicious that the advice he’d received on the matter of additional spouses was not accurate, or at least not suitable in regards to his A-Jiu. Time and space only seemed to push the man farther from him. He suspected if he left him to his own devices, he’d never see his second husband again. But had this misinformation been a simple mistake or something more heinous? Of course, he trusted nothing that came out of General Pei’s mouth in regards to romance or love; the man was a tom cat. But other Lords had seemed so sure of how well it would all work out. Men Lord Yue would have counted a peers, and even friends. Were they trying to deprive Lord Yue of his A-Jiu or simply giving their best advice based off their own experiences?

But A-Jiu was different. He didn’t bring money or influence or family into a marriage. His A-Jiu wasn’t some fainting flower or delicate spouse who sat around waiting for things to come to him. His A-Jiu acted, he made the opportunities they needed and took what he wanted.

But it certainly seemed he didn’t want his Lord husband any longer.

One night of passion didn’t fool Yue Qingyuan. Last night had been a fluke, a dangerous situation brought about by poison that could cripple and even kill a cultivator. Without that stimulus, A-Jiu would likely had maintained his cold and distant demeanor.

It was terrifying to Yue Qingyuan to consider this this wasn’t an act any longer or some drawn out punishment for marrying Liu Qingge but a representation of Shen Qingqiu’s true feelings, or lack thereof. “Ordinarily, sex was something his husband would wield gladly in all manner of ways. Yue Qingyuan was fully expecting his husband to seduce him away from Liu Qingge at the first available opportunity, to try and drag him into his bed and keep him there. Guiltily, he might admit he had even been looking forward to it. Just a little. Whether Shen Qingqiu would be aggressive or play demure, invoke passion or nostalgia or even pity, he didn’t know, but he wasn’t anticipating a dry spell ^[1].” It seemed his A-Jiu didn’t even want to be in the same wing of the estate as him.

Yet it seemed he got along quite well with Qingge.

The fear was only second to the guilt. Guilt that he’d been the one to ruin his A-Jiu’s love for him, guilt of how he’d treated his second husband, especially during Qingge’s qi deviation. Guilt going back over a decade, of being too late, too stupid, too naïve to rescue his husband from slavery. Guilt even for last night. While A-Jiu had certainly responded passionately enough, Lord Yue knew it had only occurred under duress. It had been A-Jiu, again and again, who had advised him to dismiss staff, especially in the kitchens.

Lord Yue lay awake, mulling over his mistakes and puzzling over his distant and decisive second husband.

Shen Qingqiu was however, already awake as well. And the thought in the forefront of his mind was what the fuck Lord Yue was still doing in his bed and how to get him out without causing a scene.

Yet another little lunch, but Binghe had been the one to cook for the two husbands of Lord Yue. Neither of them were particularly hungry, and so the snacks were only politely pecked at. It was a working lunch, so the food was secondary. It did pierce Shen Qingqiu’s heart to see his little lotus’s hard work go to waste, but he’d just have to make it up to him later.

Shen Qingqiu was worried that seeing Liu Qingge might be awkward. He’d seen the First Husband stripped to just his inner robes and moaning on the ground after all. And then afterwards, well, maybe it was normal for noble households but Shen Qingqiu thought it was kinky as hell. Jumping from one bed to another like a Bear-fanged Woody Toad. Shameless.

But when needs must, and everyone had been poisoned by an aphrodisiac and half out of their minds. Liu Qingge didn’t mention it, and Shen Qingqiu took his cue. They did have other issues to discuss.

“Even if they didn’t do it, or didn’t know of it, which seems impossible with the amount of poison found in multiple dishes, they were neglectful. If we throw the lot of them out, and even better, whip them before dismissing them, some interesting tales might come out,” Shen Qingqiu said as he and Liu Qingge went over the current list of kitchen staff.

“Some of them are old, over 70,” Liu Qingge offered while looking over the roster.

“Fine, no whipping for women over 60, but ten lashes for everyone else and immediate dismissal.” Shen Qingqiu could certainly compromise. It was nice the First Husband was even taking his opinion into account. The man didn’t have to, but he’d asked for this meeting. And asked for Shen Qingqiu’s assistance in dealing with the traitors in their midst.

“But if they truly didn’t know, it’s unjust to punish them all.”

Shen Qingqiu wanted to yell at the simple man, but he knew he’d never get anywhere with Liu Qingge if he turned this into a shouting match. The man might be slow at times, but he wasn’t, as Shen Qingqiu was learning, completely obtuse. “This is true. How about we pardon any blind kitchen staff?” Shen Qingqiu offered with a sharp smile.

“Which of them are blind?” Liu Qingge asked, his brows wrinkling in confusion.

“They’d all have to be blind to not have known.” Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but smirk.

Liu Qingge was silent for a moment, considering.

“You’re right,” Liu Qingge finally agreed, and Shen Qingqiu had to hold in the first pump. He settled for pouring the first husband more tea.

When the decision was delivered to Lord Yue from both of his husbands, he surprisingly didn’t hem and haw and beg pardons for the disgraced servants. The decision was carried out the same day, which Shen Qingqiu supposed just demonstrated Lord Yue’s regard for First Husband Liu.

It was a bloody affair, and Shen Qingqiu was grateful he wasn’t required to step in. Lord Yue and two of his personal disciples had the honor of delivering ten lashes to over twenty kitchen and serving staff.

Poor Binghe and one of Liu Qingge’s disciples whose family owned a famous restaurant were trying to wrangle some order into the chaos of the emptied kitchen as a stopgap. Liu Qingge received a handful of servants from his family’s estate when he wrote explaining the situation. And surprisingly, he asked, again, for Shen Qingqiu’s opinion of where they should source new servants. And Shen Qingqiu was pleased to offer his advice if it meant going outside of the usual networks Lord Yue, on the flawed advice of peers, often fell back on.

Which is how in a week’s time, they had new kitchen staff. It can take any new group time to learn how to work best with one another, but there were no major interruptions. Which was surprising since some of the staff had never worked in a kitchen before. One new apprentice cook was a former musician who was unfortunately missing a finger. Two new servers were former brothel workers who were now too old to make a living in the entertainment district. And while Lord Yue may pay their wages, Shen Qingqiu had already provided these three with what he had called a “hiring bonus”.

Only Binghe was a little put off that his cooking wasn’t needed by his Shizun on a daily basis any longer. Shen Qingqiu tried to console him, reminding the boy that he’d now have double the time for calligraphy lessons.

“I thought Shizun said the selection at Golden Brush wasn’t as good as Little Green Apples?” Binghe asked before they walked into the bookstore.

“Binghe remembers correctly,” Shen Qingqiu agreed, and instead of browsing, went straight to the desk to continue a discussion with the proprietor.

Binghe knew his job was to keep an eye out for anyone eavesdropping, especially the coachman, but he couldn’t help try to make out some of the conversation. His Shizun was discrete, but what he did manage to hear filled his heart with joy.

The bookstore’s owner’s son-in-law was looking to rent out a home, on the coast, far away from the capital. Finally he would be able to get his Shizun free from Lord Yue’s estate. The fact that Lord Yue still dared try to touch his precious Shizun made Binghe see red.

Binghe carefully put down the scroll he was pretending to peruse before he could accidentally crush the delicate paper. He did try to reign in his temper, as his Shizun directed him to. All of his Shizun’s advice was good advice. To act rashly was to invite disaster. And these days, his temper seemed to come along with a splitting headache originating right in the center of his forehead.

After their brief stop at the bookstore, they went to one of Shen Qingqiu’s favorite pawn shops. The owners all knew him and Binghe as frequent customers, but they still offered fair rates and never once sneered at him. Despite their business often going hand and hand with hardship, many other such shops had dared make rude suggestions about Shen Qingqiu’s position. After all, what noble spouse could be in a good place if they were selling their jewelry, silks, and fine accessories? Shen Qingqiu quickly moved his business elsewhere. That sort of talk could be troublesome in the long run as well if the owners managed to wag their tongues to the wrong people.

They’d settled into a favorite once they found a discreet shop. Today, Shen Qingqiu only had a few items. Since he had come out himself, he couldn’t risk carrying too many goods. And his rooms were pretty austere these days. He wasn’t sure how much more he could get away with selling off. Perhaps he’d paint few new scrolls himself, as cover for the bare walls.

But that hideous flower hair crown from the spring banquet was going. The owner took some time look at it before offering much more than Shen Qingqiu had expected.

He was sure nothing had shown on his face, but the owner still offered an explanation. “It was a recent commission, no? If you had the full set, I would offer you five times that amount. Lao Feng is retired and rarely takes commissions these days, so his ‘three gentlemanly flowers’ got a lot of people interested.”

“Is that so? Shen Qingqiu offered from behind his fan.

“Yes, and while the lily is certainly, in this one’s opinion, the finest of set, all three are really needed to shine.” Shen Qingqiu didn’t rush the man’s examination, though he really couldn’t see the draw of the piece. Well, one man’s trash and all that. And their lack of taste was his gain.

Finally satisfied, the owner paid them in full. Both Binghe and Shen Qingqiu had done this enough to not let the amount faze them, but this was possibly the biggest sale they’d managed.

Without missing a beat, Binghe pocketed their newly acquired funds, and they continued in the carriage to one of the bigger open-air markets. It wasn’t as high end as someone of Shen Qingqiu’s standing should frequent, but the variety of goods was astonishing. Shen Qingqiu had finally gotten around to making an updated list of travel necessities and realized there were too much they still needed.

Shen Qingqiu knew he was throwing himself into planning to escape an existential crisis. Never mind even thinking about the unwanted sex with his unfaithful soon to be ex-spouse. After the night he’d spent with Yue Qingyuan, when he finally came out of the daze of the aphrodisiac, there was no denying he had two distinct sets of memories. Of different lives, as two different people.

It was enough to make him want to run for city gates at this very moment. Who forgets a whole lifetime? And even when he’d remembered, he’d convinced himself it was all a part of his fucking character sheet. It couldn’t be healthy to feel so disconnected with his previous life that he’d been certain he was a stranger in this world. Shen Qingqiu knew therapy wasn’t a thing here, but damn, he was sure he could keep the couch hot for years with the last two months of his life…lives.

Anyone would have mistaken it for transmigration, who the hell would expect to reincarnate as an earlier version of a past life AFTER your last incarnation had read about your past as a trash web novel? If this was a web novel, he would have flamed the author for their shitty set-up for at least three thousand words.

How had he managed to piss off the wrong god so thoroughly? Or was Death really just that lazy? If he’d had a better memory, could he have recreated the work he’d read in another life in the life the work was based off of (or created from?) and circulate it to the masses as a harem novel? What a meta disaster. Didn’t the gods know the multiverse was the mark of a lazy writer or a dying IP?

The shocking epiphany had gotten him more serious about his notes though. He’d started a hard copy wiki and began annotating his bestiaries with as many details as he could recall. All the English has gotten some questions from Binghe, but Shen Qingqiu had claimed it to be an old musical notation from his school days in Gusu.

Binghe was another problem. Shen Yuan knew there was something coming up in the plot about his parentage. And while he had intended to finish the series, he’d never gotten around to it in time. Was taking Binge with him the best choice? Or was he denying his disciple his chance in the spotlight?

“Shizun!” the boy in question called out from a vendor across the way. Shen Qingqiu looked up from where he was perusing a collection of traps made for spiritual beasts. Binge was proudly holding up the top item on their “want” list, a qiankun pouch.

Shen Qingqiu wasn’t going to let anything ruin his good mood. Not the sudden downpour, or the fact that no matter how closely he examined it, he couldn’t figure out how the hell the qiankun pouch worked. It had to be some sort of trade secret amongst cultivation families. He dared not take this one apart to try to reverse engineer it as it was too damn useful. With this, leaving would be a breeze. Forget luggage organizers, everything was going in the bag. Hell they could even bring Binghe’s favorite wok without anyone in the estate being the wiser. And what if poking around the design too much damaged it? What if a destroyed pocket space did something when it became "unbuttoned" so to speak? Would he make a bloody black hole in his courtyard? No fucking thanks.

And he was not going to be bothered by the hangdog visage across the tea table from him. The man really could not take a hint. Did the aphrodisiac incident give him hope for a reconciliation? Ptooey, no thanks.

“This Lord is glad he could meet with A-Jiu, you were out most of the day,” Lord Yue said as Shen Qingqiu prepared the tea. He thought to move as slowly as possible, to demonstrate how unwanted this meeting was, but that would just draw it out.

“This one was picking up some new scrolls,” Shen Qingqiu offered truthfully. Bringing back new books as a cover was never a hardship.

“Yes, A-Jiu’s collection of books has grown. It seems he has had to make room for many more titles in his collection,” Lord Yue commented.

Shen Qingqiu wasn’t sure what to make of this. Lord Yue was still smiling, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t an accusation. Was he suspicious of Shen Qingqiu’s noticeably bare quarters? Or just making pointless conversation? Did it even matter? They were Shen Qingqiu’s things anyway; why couldn’t he discard or sell them for a ridiculous profit as he saw fit?

“Hmm,” Shen Qingqiu simply agreed and began pouring the tea.

Yue Qingyuan took the proper time to sip and appreciate his tea. Shen Qingqiu gave his a perfunctory taste

Of course, the peace could not last. “A-Jiu and Qingge did a commendable job of getting the estate back into order so quickly.” Lord Yue said with a small smile.

“Indeed, it was well handled. First Husband was kind enough to ask this one for his feedback,” Shen Qingqiu replied, and though he knew better to keep up the engagement, his curiosity got the better of him. “Did Lord Yue manage to track down the cousin of the lead cook who supposedly supplied the poison?”

The smile fell off his stupid face. “Ah, no, this one did not. It doesn’t appear that there is actually a cousin. And there were no further leads.”

“Pity,” Shen Qingqiu said while he seethed inside. Everyone nearly has their meridians boiled and that’s it? Absolutely ridiculous. If Shen Qingqiu wasn’t ready to fly the coop, he’d launch his own investigation.

“This one wanted to check with A-Jiu, and make sure there were no lingering effect from the poison” Yue Qingyuan finally managed to get out, and Shen Qingqiu wondered why he’d been dancing around this.

“Healer Mu assured this one that there was no permanent damage,” Shen Qingqiu reminded him as he watched the man from over his cup’s rim.

“Yes, well, that is.” Lord Yue stumbled like a school boy and Shen Qingqiu gave him nothing to cling to. “It had been some time since this Lord was permitted to spend the night with A-Jiu.”

Shen Qingqiu fought to keep his face straight. Did this man really think his dick was his second sword? Mowing its way through a flower field? Well, as much as Shen Qingqiu could remember hadn’t been bad, per se, but did the bastard really think he deserved a repeat performance?

“And while the situation wasn’t a harmonious meeting but the reaction to a dangerous situation that required a particular effort, this Lord would…”

“Yes, thank you for your hard work,” Shen Qingqiu cut him off and kept his face as serene as still, clear water even if he was dying laughing inside.

Yue Qingyuan froze, uncertain how to take the words. Take at them face value, big man. But don’t expect a new year’s bonus.

Lord Yue decided to finish anyway, but the wind was clearly out of his sails, “This lord would like to continue spending time with his A-Jiu and reforging our connection.”

Shen Qingqiu didn’t even let the man catch his breath. “This one must decline. It would upset First Husband if Lord Yue were suddenly in this one’s courtyard too often. It is for the best that Lord Yue think of maintaining his good relationship with the Liu family. After all, they won’t take kindly to Lord Yue treating their favored son like some forgotten concubine.” Shen Qingqiu even wagged his folded fan at Lord Yue like some overly animated instructor. Lord Yue didn’t appear to be amused.

“Qingge knows the regard this Lord holds for him and would not…”

“First Husband is going to visit his family’s estate, is he not?”

Yue Qingyuan nodded, his usually handsome face marred by his stony expression.

“Well, it’s even more important now for Lord Yue to be on his best behavior. Else First Husband might not have favorable stories to share with his very influential family,” Shen Qingqiu reminded him, but the man seemed near his breaking point. Gods, he would need to wrap this up fast or there might even be more crying.

“As this one recalls, Lord Yue is also departing the estate?”

Even though Shen Qingqiu was trying to get through his cup of tea as quickly as propriety would allow, Yue Qingyuan was completely neglecting his. He looked mournfully across the table at Shen Qingqiu. Like a puppy left out in the rain.

Yue Qingyuan sighed. “Yes, this Lord will be away at court for some time. The Minster of Works has called a special session regarding the drought in Qishan.”

Suddenly Yue Qingyuan perked up and Shen Qingqiu suppressed a shudder. Before he could wonder too much what had altered the man’s outlook, Lord Yue asked, “Does A-Jiu wish to attend court with this Lord and keep him company in the palace?”

“No, not in the slightest,” Shen Qingqiu nipped that in the bud and watched his husband deflate again. God, he hoped he wasn’t this much of a push-over in court. Even the Liu family’s influence couldn’t rescue that.

“This one will of course, remain here to make sure the estate is in fine condition upon Lord Yue’s and First Husband’s return,” Shen Qingqiu said with a smile

1. From Feynite’s IWYWMH chapter 1.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Shen Qingqiu didn’t think he’d ever be counted as part of Liu Qingge’s entourage, yet here he was at the estate gates at such an ungodly hour in the morning to see off the first husband with the majority of the estate’s servants.

He expected the man in question would march right past the estate’s well-wishers, vault into the carriage and haul ass to his maiden home. However, Shen Qingqiu, grand strategist that he is, could still be caught off-guard.

Liu Qingge stopped in front of him, holding up the progression of his servants and disciples.

“I know you’ll be fine on your own,” Liu Qingge finally said after an awkward pause.

Then why say anything about it? “Indeed, this second husband has much to entertain himself. There are many paintings to see to,” Shen Qingqiu said with a nod.

“But our Lord Husband will also be away,” Liu Qingge reminded him.

What was he getting at? Shen Qingqiu was happy to not see that man. And Liu Qingge should be happy that Lord Yue and his second husband were still very much on the rocks. Was the honorable protagonist moved even on his behalf?

Obviously misreading Shen Qingqiu’s hesitation, the First Husband clasped a hand to his shoulder and said in all seriousness, “Second Husband could always come with me to visit my family home. You can paint there too.”

Gods save him from sweet, simple men.

Shen Qingqiu hope his smile looked more grin than grimace. “First Husband is too kind to offer. But this second husband will look after the estate while both Lord Yue and First Husband are away.”

The man still didn’t look convinced. His servants shuffled restlessly behind him.

“And I’ll have Binghe to keep me company,” Shen Qingqiu added.

Oddly, that didn’t seem to assuage the man’s concerns either. Which Shen Qingqiu couldn’t understand in the least. Absolute slander! His little student was the model of devotion and earnest work. Who wouldn’t want to spend time with that little bun? Anyone would… if Binghe wasn’t in sticky bun mode, which Shen Qingqiu was pleased to say he was slowly but surely training out of the boy.

First Husband finally released him. “Hmph, if you’re sure.”

“Yes, but this one thanks First Husband for his concern. This second husband will write to First Husband and Lord Yue if he becomes lonely,” Shen Qingqiu promised.

“Write anyway,” Liu Qingge replied as he strode off into his carriage. The muttering that followed in his wake from the servants seemed to imply the delay was somehow Shen Qingqiu’s fault, but he was getting better about ignoring the buzz of insects. And soon it wouldn’t matter anyway.

Shen Qingqiu waved gaily at the departing carriage, seemingly oblivious to the dark looks cast his way before retreating back to his quarters to await Binghe’s return.

Shen Qingqiu blamed Shen Yuan for this. This shameful procrastination certainly wasn’t something he’d had ever done as his original self. Shen Qingqiu always acted swiftly and with determination. Yet somehow, at the 12th hour, he’d put off talking to his disciple about his own plans. It was wrong to assume the boy would want to come with him. Working at a prestigious estate as the sole disciple of a lord’s husband, even if he was the lowly born second husband, was nothing to scoff off. Binghe was smart and industrious too; he could use this decent start as a springboard to greatness! It was foolish of Shen Qingqiu to assume the boy would want to give that up.

After waiting so long to broach the subject, it seemed incredibly awkward now. But putting this off any longer was unforgivable.

“Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu called for his disciple. He set about brewing tea for them, a fragrant but mild tea he’d noticed the boy seemed to like. It wasn’t a bribe, just something nice for their serious discussion.

The boy was too happy to leave his lessons and join his Shizun. Shen Qingqiu had to shoo him away from the tea preparations and point at his seat before the boy would settle down. Really, how had a stupid name ever affected Shen Qingqiu enough to not appreciate his disciple? So what if his moronic Lord Husband had thought the boy a suitable replacement for a child from his own body? Who the hell wants a child with a crybaby playboy anyway?

Shen Qingqiu settled himself across the table and poured them each a cup. “There was something this master wanted to discuss. Well, something this master wanted to ask Binghe.”

“Yes, this disciple will do anything for Shizun!” he chirped back as it he wasn’t a growing sixteen-year-old boy nearly Shen Qingqiu’s own height.

Shen Qingqiu had to keep his face blank so as not to encourage the flippant behavior. “Drink your tea and listen,” he snapped.

Maybe he was a little spoilt. But a jewel deserved to be valued. And when his master told him to do something, the boy did obey, generally.

“Binghe suspects this master’s plans,” he stated simply. Suddenly the sunny boy across from him looked a little more serious and nodded. Good, well, that would make this easier if the boy already knew. Binghe was running half the errands related to Shen Qingqiu’s departure from the Yue estate. It wouldn’t be such a surprise, why else sell everything but the kitchen sink?

But it may not seem like a flight to freedom for Binghe. The last thing Shen Qingqiu wanted was to make the boy feel like he was losing his home. Perhaps he should have planned for another placement for him? A good master would have done so. But it did just seem nearly unthinkable to give the boy up. He’d been his only real ally and confident this whole time. He’d been the only one to assist during that terrible qi deviation in which Shen Qingqiu swore he’d been simultaneously killed and reborn. Only Binghe had bothered to check on him. Lord Yue had been much too preoccupied marrying and bedding another man.

But he was the adult here. And he needed to make sure the boy would be taken care of, no matter his choice.

“This master expects to execute his plan soon. But it has come to my attention that I have been lax in regards to Binghe.”

“Shizun always takes care of this lowly disciple. This one doesn’t deserve such a kind Shizun,” the boy said with a completely straight face.

“Regardless, this master needs to ask Binghe what his desires are,” Shen Qingqiu continued, ignoring the boy’s honeyed words.

But Binghe’s sticky sweet act was interrupted. The boys’ eyes went wide as he shakily set down his tea cup. His lips quivered, like he wanted to speak, but nothing came out.

“Binghe?” Shen Qingqiu asked with genuine concern. Had he burned himself? There was no way that tea was that hot. A qi deviation then? His cultivation had always been rock steady!

Shen Qingqiu rose and was by his disciple’s side in a moment, seizing his wrist to feel his qi. The boy’s skin was scorching to the touch, and his qi did definitely feel somewhat disturbed. The flow was unobstructed though. Could he simply be ill? While Binghe should be beyond most mortal illness, it wasn’t impossible at this state.

The boy jerked his hand away suddenly and stood, nearly knocking his tea cup over in the process.

“Binghe, stop! Sit back down. You’ve likely managed to catch some sort of bug from the market place and…” and the boy he was just thinking was so damn filial ignored him entirely and dashed from the sitting room.

Shen Qingqiu ran out into the garden right after him, but stopped short when Binghe took a flying leap into the lotus pond.

“Binghe!” Shen Qingqiu shouted, aghast and baffled at his disciple’s behavior.

A head topped with soaked, wild curls broke the surface.

“What is the matter with you?” Shen Qingqiu reached out for the boy, and couldn’t believe it when Binghe moved further from him.

“If it’s okay with Shizun, this one would like to stay in the pond,” the boy said as if floating amongst the lotus pods and lily pads were a perfectly fine place to spend the afternoon.

“No, this master’s disciple may not stay in the pond,” Shen Qingqiu said through gritted teeth. What it up with this child? Is this open rebellion against leaving the estate?

The face floating above the water was still beet red. He stammered under the wrathful eye of his Shizun but finally forced out, “This disciple is not in a fit state to stand before his Shizun!”

What the hell? Shen Qingqiu looked at the boy contemplatively: still red and refusing to meet his eye.

It finally clicked for him. Shen Qingqiu shook his head and flipped open his fan to hide his lower face. Really? Had his disciple leaped into the lotus pond because he’d popped an inopportune boner? Well, he was young, but really Binghe. Jumping into a damn pond only draws more attention to yourself! Robes hide an awful lot anyway!

Shen Qingqiu fought the urge to roll his eyes and settled for looking down at his disciple sternly. “Binghe is a young man, but he is also a cultivator. A cultivator tames the urges of his body with meditation. Not by leaping into a pond like an oversized frog. And when Binghe decides to behave like a cultivator and not some amphibian, he may return to this master’s side and inquire about his punishment for this outlandish behavior.” Shen Qingqiu strode away from the pond and his mortified disciple.

It wasn’t until he sat back down to his now cold tea that he realized he hadn’t been able to ask Binghe about accompanying him away from the Yue estate. Cursing his own inattentiveness, he stormed back out into the garden to grill his embarrassed and soaking wet disciple.

There was plenty of time for tying up loose threads. Being lazy about this actually helped make it all more believable! Yet Shen Qingqiu didn’t bother seeing his Lord Husband off the next day; to play it up too much would only invite suspicion. Though he might have watched the progression of carriages and horses from the west gate. Just to make sure the man did double-back and ruin everything.

With First Husband Liu Qingge and Lord Yue Qingyuan absent from the estate, Shen Qingqiu was in charge, in theory. But in reality, the imperial palace wasn’t that far. A fast runner could bring a letter and response back within a shichen if Lord Yue wasn’t occupied in court. Anything Shen Qingqiu ordered could easily be dismissed by the steward or even his assistant if they took the time to write to their Lord.

But the timeliness of a letter was going to work in his favor now.

One of the new serving women brought Shen Qingqiu a letter that morning while he was painting rather conspicuously in one of the main gardens. Well in reality, it was a dirty little poem she’d scrawled in her off hours. But Shen Qingqiu was going to pretend it was a very important letter.

Shen Qingqiu dallied all afternoon before making his way across the estate. He took a quick breath to compose himself before entering Lord Yue’s office. It was tidy enough, but probably because the maids had already been through after their Lord had departed for the palace this morning.

He heard the voices of the steward and his assistant before he saw them in the side office. He didn’t bother to knock, but cleared his throat as he stood in the doorway.

“Second Husband Shen!” the old steward looked genuinely surprised to see him standing there. Good, Shen Qingqiu was happy to see the man perturbed no matter how petty it was to fight with someone old enough to be a great-grandfather. The man was a dirty thief. He only hoped First Husband would up his accounting game and catch the little shit one day.

“This master received a letter from my Lord Husband asking that…”

“A letter from Lord Yue?” the steward parroted back. And now his brows were drawn, clearly suspicious.

Shen Qingqiu let himself smirk, “That’s what this master said.”

“And when did this supposed letter arrive?” the steward continued and stood up from his desk. Because the ass hadn’t stood to greet the Second Husband.

“This morning,” Shen Qingqiu drawled.

“What, this morning? It’s nearly past the hour of the monkey,” the steward griped. His assistant looked worried, as anyone who delayed the orders of their Lord for hours on end should.

“Hmm yes. Anyway, Lord Yue asked this master to join him at the palace. As it’s already too late to journey over today…”

“Second Husband Shen purposefully delayed in responding to our Lord’s order,” the steward accused. And there it was. Give them someone to harp on Shen Qingqiu about and they’d be happy, suspicions laid to rest. Because of course, the second husband was a lazy man who delayed in answering the orders of Lord Yue. Nothing else to see here, folks.

“Well, this master was uncertain if he would join his Lord Husband. This master needed time to consider,” Shen Qingqiu responded.

The steward’s eyes bugled out. The assistant had the nerve to whisper, “ungrateful!” under his breath.

“But this master decided to acquiesce and join Lord Yue at the palace. We’ll depart tomorrow, once my servant has packed the carriages,” Shen Qingqiu said and watched the two men visibly relax. “This master is simply alerting you to the fact that you’ll be in charge, what with the whole family being away,” Shen Qingqiu finished, trying to be appear uncaring in the doorway while he really wanted to focus on every minute change on the steward’s face.

“This servant will work his hardest to secure the safety and prosperity of Lord Yue’s estate,” the steward said with a bow.

“See that you do,” Shen Qingqiu replied and departed without another glance at the two simpletons.

In the morning, Shen Qingqiu made a big show of terrorizing the servants to pack his carriage carefully. The Second Husband’s wéiqí board needed to padded in the finest silk. The cherry wood pipa’s case had to be found, no other instrument case could act as a temporary substitute. The horses' coats were not properly brushed.

No one was surprised it was late afternoon before the man set off. And everyone was far too happy to see him go to realize the coachman was really one of the new assistant cooks. And that the usually overly demanding second husband had only taken one carriage.

The estate was quite deserted when Sha Hualing arrived that night to steal the newest husband of Lord Yue. Confused and a little put out, she set a few fires, terrified the staff, and left empty-handed.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

“Dump it wherever,” Shen Qingqiu instructed as he handed over the man’s final payment.

“Thanking Master Shen,” the musician carefully cradled the gold-inlayed pipa in his arms before tucking it back into its case and storing it under the coach seat. He bowed before driving off, and Shen Qingqiu sighed in relief to see the Yue estate carriage drive away for what he hoped was the last time.

“Shizun?” Binghe asked when Shen Qingqiu had stood there reminiscing for a beat too long. The boy patted his side again to assure himself the qiankun pouch holding most of their worldly belongings was still there. It was a terrible tell and Shen Qingqiu would need to break him of it. On busy streets, there were always eyes watching for an easy target.

“Come along, Binghe. The traffic will only get worse the later we wait,” Shen Qingqiu didn’t have to check to make sure the boy was following. After he’d tearfully sworn to follow his master to the ends of the world and protect him from any man, demon, or god, he’d been as sticky as ever. His declaration of loyalty might have been more stirring if the boy hadn’t still been shoulders deep in a pond at the time. And if his “protection” felt more like a seasoned guard and less like a pet dog yapping at anyone who got too close.

But Shen Qingqiu was pleased the boy had ardently agreed to join him on the road. He would have been fine by himself, of course, but some company could make travel more pleasant.

The main gate in and out of the city was a circus, as expected. Even this late in the morning, merchants and farmers were still trying to get in to sell their goods at market. The holler of people, braying of animals, and clatter of wagons was enough to give anyone a migraine.

To make matters even more stressful, they didn’t blend in as well as Shen Qingqiu has hoped. He’d insisted both he and Binghe change their robes in the carriage, replacing the fine, ostentatious robes Second Husband Shen would wear to stand beside his Lord Husband in the imperial palace to something far less grandiose. Shen Qingqiu had been going for traveling scholar. Casting Binghe as his apprentice would be the simplest as it didn’t demand any acting from the boy. Yet they were still undeniably overdressed.

It made it a bit frustrating knowing that Luo Binghe could act. Shen Qingqiu had seen him lie so convincingly to the other servants it had even made him pause. But the problem was that it wasn’t a reliable skill. Hoping into ponds, ducking into his rooms, tripping over the wash bucket in an attempt to avert his eyes when Shen Qingqiu was in the tub; the boy could be so easily embarrassed he lost all sense of dignity entirely. Binghe had been a stammering mess in the carriage and finally had changed with his eyes squeezed shut. Shen Qingqiu had to straighten out his robes so he would pass as a presentable, and the boy’s burning red face hadn’t cooled until he’d sent the carriage on its way and they’d started their trek to the main gate.

Shen Qingqiu could only shake his head. He was certain he’d never been that awkward in either childhood. At least his original plan of building an expandable tent had been bust. Even with qiankun pouch proportions, they’d still be in close quarters. You’d think this brat hadn’t been the one helping him dress for damn near three years. With the way he carried on sometimes you’d think Shen Qingqiu had grown tits.

They were definitely drawing more than their fair share of curious eyes. But the overt air of respectability could both help and hinder them now. To accompany another group leaving the city was the easy choice as flying double on Xiu Ya was far too obvious. Looking nicer made them more memorable though. It was a double-edged sword.

Shen Qingqiu sighed and plastered a pleasant smile on his face. He’d just have to hope no one was going to come asking about him for a long time. Please lazy reincarnation gods, let the drama roll in the palace and keep Lord Yue occupied the entire season!

Binghe stuck close as they made their way through the throngs and out the main gates. Shen Qingqiu knew they wouldn’t be challenged; there was no reason to expect trouble. There was a strong sense of foreboding that his rational mind couldn’t throw off. But when they’d passed through the long shadow of the main gates, it was like weights were lifted from his shoulders. It was still dusty and smelled of farm animals and too many people who needed a proper bath. But the air was lighter. It was easier to fake his smile as he greeted the first group of decent looking merchants congregating outside with Binghe stumbling after him.

Binghe watched his master stride over confidently to the second group of merchants. Even when they too weren’t going in their direction, Shizun was smiling and at ease. Binghe didn’t think he’d ever seen the man act so nonchalantly. Despite his more modest robes and with is hair up in a simple bronze crown, he looked stunning in the late morning sun. Binghe gasped when he turned back to him, smiling.

Of course, it didn’t take his resourceful Shizun much time to find what he was looking for. Patting the pouch at his side one more time, Binghe hurried to catch up with the group already ready to leave, heading east along the roads to the coast.

The concept of lovely, idyllic beaches went hand in hand with blue, tranquil water and clear, sunny skies.

But a storm was clearly coming in. The sky was a dark grey with clouds so thick it looked like a layer of felt pulled over the heavens. Wind howled through the small town, shaking the scraggly, stunted bamboo that grew in sandy soil. Wind and salt had worked its magic over the whole town, and every building looked worn down and derelict.

Much like how Shen Qingqiu currently felt. Tired and dusty from hoofing it like mortals for three nights, he was ready to settle into his newly rented seaside estate.

The bookseller has assured him it was in good condition, had a mature garden, and even came furnished. The caretaker lived in in one of the outbuildings but otherwise they’d have two courtyards to themselves. The son had to move suddenly because of job opportunities. Otherwise, it was a highly desirable little vacation house.

However, after finally getting a look at the town, Shen Qingqiu was concerned the bookseller, or rather the son who had been so eager to rent the place, was perhaps exaggerating the conditions. The whole town didn’t appear so much quaint as poor. It while it was a scenic location, but that scene was always going to be gothic with a side of Lovecraftian horror.

“Well,” Shen Qingqiu said while surveying the deserted main street. The road was at least cobbled, but it didn’t do much to prevent the rest of the buildings from degrading in the coastal climate. “Let’s find our new home before the storm beats us to it,” Shen Qingqiu finished with a levity he did not feel. His loyal disciple followed after him, though even the boy didn’t have anything reassuring to say.

The estate was in a similar state. The gatehouse was in desperate need of paint and a few sections were rotted. Ignoring his trepidation, Shen Qingqiu knocked loudly on the gate before Binghe could beat him to it.

Nothing could be heard over the howl of the wind, even with a cultivator’s hearing. Thinking the worst-case scenario would be just be flying over the gate itself, Shen Qingqiu wasn’t too concerned. But if no one opened the gate, that meant there was potentially no caretaker. How dilapidated would the home be if there had been no one to take care of it over the months? Storms were common on the coast, would the buildings be fit to live in? The weather wasn’t the only worry; there could be vermin.

Or maybe the caretaker was just out? Gods only knew what sort of errands he’d be running. There didn’t seem to be much commerce in town. Maybe someone sold the best pickles out of their kitchen.

The gate screeched opened suddenly and Shen Qingqiu jumped, startled like a horror movie scream queen and not an immortal cultivator.

An old man with a scarred, craggy face huffed and groaned as he opened the gate wide. “Welcome Master Shen,” he said with a raspy voice that could barely be heard over the wind and a stiff bow that threatened to break his spine.

Well, at least they were expected.

“Good evening,” Shen Qingqiu replied cordially and hastened inside without further ado. He’d already leased it for a year, so he might as well act as if he owned the place.

Shen Qingqiu glanced about as they made their way to the reception hall. The first courtyard seemed fine. The wood was also faring poorly in places, but the inside was a little more protected from the wind. The grounds were swept and tidy enough. There were two little peach trees with small, hard fruits maturing right next to the kitchen but not much else happening in the kitchen garden.

Walking through the reception hall, Shen Qingqiu thought the bookseller’s son had made a wise choice with his caretaker. Fully furnished might have been stressing it, but the interior was well cared for.

The caretaker was following behind them as they made their way out to the main house. The interior courtyard was also in good repair, but the lattices in several of the carved windows of the main house were loose or missing. Stepping inside, the house was spacious. The entryway turned into tile flooring which seems to hold up much better in the salty climate. Mature plum and cherry trees were visible out in the main garden. Noticeably, the trees were shorter, using the protection of the outer wall as shelter from the harsh littoral wind.

The caretaker knocked and bowed before entering to light the braziers. The wavering glow revealed more wear: stains on cushions, tears in the screens, old water stains on the table. Well, they had shelter and warmth. It might not be the darling little villa Shen Qingqiu had been envisioning, but it was better than being on the road.

And better than being imprisoned in the gilded cage of the Yue estate.

Shen Qingqiu glanced at his disciple to see if he could ascertain how the boy felt about their new normal. He’d dragged Binghe from a safe, lush life into the unknown. And now they had their own house, but with stains and wood rot.

“This servant is called Old Guo and can answer any of Master Shen’s questions about the estate.” The man had hobbled back over to them once the braziers were lit.

“Thank you, Old Guo. How long has it been since the old master left the estate in your care?” Shen Qingqiu settled down onto one of the least offensive looking cushions.

“This servant will go see about tea,” Binghe proclaimed, obviously looking for some way to be useful. And probably just like Shen Qingqiu, feeling overwhelmed about all that needed to be done.

“There’s no need, Binghe. There are probably no other servants still at the estate. The kitchen will need to be cleaned before we can use it,” Shen Qingqiu reminded him, and Binghe frowned but sat down across the table.

“That’s correct, Master Shen. This servant is the only one remaining to care for the estate,” Old Guo confirmed. “And while I’ve kept it swept, dusted, and as repaired as my old bones can, the kitchens and supply room are empty. And answering Master Shen’s first question, this fall will be two years since the old master and his family moved out.”

“The weather on the coast is always hard on wooden buildings. All things considered, the place is in quite good condition,” Shen Qingqiu mused.

“Thanking Master Shen for his understanding,” Old Guo replied with another bow.

It was nice to have a servant actually trying to be helpful, but for gods’ sake man, think of your old back and lay off the bowing!

“So for minimal staff, we’ll need a cook and maid. Does Uncle Guo think he can handle a little supervision if any future interior cleaning is handled by a maid?” Shen Qingqiu asked while eyeing the man. He looked hardy, but maybe that was too much to ask an old timer?

“This one can handle it, Master Shen. This one prefers working outside anyway,” Old Guo agreed and nodded.

“Shizun! We don’t need a cook! This servant would be overjoyed to prepare every one of Shizuns meals,” Binghe burst in, leaning over the table and looking so helplessly as Shen Qingqiu you’d think he was a criminal beseeching a judge.

“Binghe will be spending his time studying and assisting this master with other tasks,” Shen Qingqiu gently rebuked him and refused to look at those pathetic puppy dog eyes across the table.

Shen Qingqiu was about to thank Old Guo for all his work but a sudden, shocking noise made itself heard. They all fell into an awkward silence. Really, it sounded like a mix of a blowhorn and a giant fart.

“Well, that’s an interesting sound for a storm,” Shen Qingqiu said lightly and couldn’t help pulling his fan out to wave it lazily. Really, farting wind?

“Your pardon, Master Shen. It’s the water bulls coming up to the beach. The like the early storms the most,” Old Guo supplied helpfully.

“Water bulls?” Shen Qingqiu asked, racking his brain for the creature.

Old Guo nodded. “Hide like a seal, but bigger than three men, horned, and onery when in their season.”

OMG he meant the Two-Pronged Wave Bull!

“On the beach you say, right now?” Shen Qingqiu asked and stood, looking around for the qiankun bag.

“Yes, but they can be dangerous,” Old Guo warned, watching in amazement as the refined scholar began digging through his bags like an excitable child.

“This master will be sure to be careful. Thanking Uncle Guo for his assistance.” Shen Qingqiu said in way of dismissal once he found some of his thicker paper and the charcoal bag.

“But doesn’t Shizun want to rest?” Binghe asked uncertainly.

“I’ll rest later, the Two Pronged Wave Bull is exceedingly rare. Very few have ever been captured and most of the information we have on them is dated. This one cannot pass up the opportunity,” Shen Qingqiu dashed to the door with his arms full of drawing supplies, but remembering his poor disciple, spun back around. “But Binghe should rest! I won’t be long, and we have a lot to do tomorrow, sourcing new staff, purchasing supplies, getting these windows fixed.” He dashed outside before Binghe could stop him.

Old Guo opened the gate for the new master and bowed him out no matter how foolish he felt the errand to be. Shen Qingqiu waved in farewell and reminded the old man to not stay up waiting for his return and that he was perfectly capable of opening the gate. Hopefully Old Guo listened because Shen Qingqiu wasn’t sure how long he would be. Being a respected scholar was all well and good, but maybe he needed to show off some of his cultivation skills “accidentally” so the servant would stop treating him like some pampered young lord.

His little villa might be an eyesore, but it had its own little dirt path down to the beach. The sounds of the bulls were more frequent as Shen Qingqui descended towards the waves, but in the dark it was difficult to tell where they were exactly. The males were quite territorial as he recalled so Shen Qingqiu slapped a concealment talisman on his robes as the ground under his boots became sandy.

An outcropping of rocks that looked mostly sheltered from the spray seemed a likely spot. Shen Qingqiu settled in the shadowy overhang and took out his papers and charcoal. He wasn’t sure how long the beasts would be visible before disappearing into the waves, so a quick sketch would be best.

A trumpeting fart was audible over the slap of the waves. Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widened as he watched one the giant beasts laboriously pull itself entirely out of the water. Really, it was incredibly lucky to see one on land. The Two-Pronged Wave Bull wasn’t a bull like at all, more like a giant salamander with horns. They spent most of their lives at sea though, and only came on land to mate and later to lay their eggs.

Shen Qingqiu sketched silently as the wave bull bellowed again into the darkness, sounding more like a gassy bullfrog than anything bovine. Charcoal smeared and Shen Qingqiu grabbed up another page to start afresh as the wave bull moved to better show his profile. The neck even inflated like a toad when it sang out! Fascinating, but it was a little odd, considering the name. The horns were less like a bull’s and more like a deer’s. The pair he was sketching definitely branched into more than two prongs. Shen Qingqiu counted eight points. Maybe this was a massive example of the species?

The wave bull moved again, and Shen Qingqiu got a very good view of why it was named the Two-Pronged Wave Bull. Under the gray gut, two engorged phalluses swayed in time with the beast’s rolling gait.

Shen Qingqiu sketched faithfully no matter how ludicrous it was. Two? What good would two pillars do anyone?

Time was against him though. An equally loud and deep bellow summoned the bull further down the coast and away from Shen Qingqui’s curious eyes. The storm was coming in fast, but he’d gotten enough for a detailed, anatomically correct painting later on. A portrait of a female would be great to pair with the male’s, but it wasn’t the end of the world. The Two-Pronged Wave Bull was a rare creature, but not the most interesting. Who wanted to read extensively about giant double-dick salamanders anyway?

The morning came quickly in the little tumbledown village. Shen Qingqiu looked around the estate in the morning light and added a few more “to-do” items to his list. Once they’d dressed and cleaned up, finding the center of the town was easy enough. The cobblestone road that ran down the middle was also what passed as their main street. The fishmongers were closer to the docks, but a grocer, tailor, and a small forge were situated tidily enough on the street. Rice, beans, tofu, pork, eggs, a few vegetables and many vegetable seeds were all easily acquired. The grocer seemed ecstatic for the business and promised to deliver their order himself later that day.

The tailor only had cotton and hemp, but Shen Qingqiu bought a few bolts anyway. He’d brought some of his own supplies thanks to their qiankun pouch, but the servants would need fresh pallets at least.

Shen Qingqiu didn’t bother to conceal Xiu Ya any longer, but the questioning stares they received evaporated entirely when word got around they’d moved into the old estate and they were spending money.

After questioning a few suddenly friendly locals, they found the shipwright’s and secured his agreement to send his two apprentices to repair the windows and evaluate any rot in the walls and structures. The amount of paint Shen Qingqiu wanted wasn’t something the shipwright had on hand, but he happily took Shen Qingqiu’s money to secure more lacquer to produce the paint. The options were red and muddy black, so the little seaside estate was going to be a very auspicious red in the near future.

A young, enterprising woman set up a stand directly in front of them as Shen Qingqiu and Binghe were making their way back from the docks, Binghe pleased as punch about some of the fish cuts and shellfish he’d managed to find there. Naturally for a seaside village, their main products came from the ocean, and it was apparently a good season. Shen Qingqiu watched, amused as the woman hawked her bao to an audience of two. To humor her, he purchases two and passed one to Binghe to sample.

They were tasty; the simple dough was fresh, hot, and melted in Shen Qingqiu’s mouth. Of course, they had nothing on Binghe’s divine cooking, but the boy was training to be an immortal cultivator, not a cook.

“Madam is quite the cook,” Shen Qingqiu complimented her. She averted her eyes but bowed at the compliment. Shen Qingqiu wasn’t finished though, while their list was shorter than it had been in the morning, there was still much to be done. And she’d so conveniently plopped herself right onto their path.

“Does Madam perhaps run the local restaurant or cook for the inn?” Shen Qingqiu pried with a soft smile.

“There’s no restaurant in Binzhen, no one has money for that,” she said with a wave and practically pushed two more bao into Shen Qingqiu’s hands.

He dutifully passed her a few coppers and resumed his questioning. “And no inn as well?”

“There was an inn, but they’ve closed down,” she said and looked ready to push more bao at him. Shen Qingqiu held up the bao still in each hand and took a small step back just in case she tried to shove one directly into his mouth.

“Then where did madam learn to cook so…ingeniously?” Shen Qingqiu asked.

“Nowhere, you just learn to make something fast when someone’s in town spending money,” she muttered and ducked her head as if suddenly now feeling embarrassed for her aggressive sales tactics.

“Would Madam be interested in cooking for the estate then? The kitchen is in need of work, and the kitchen garden is barren but for a few fruit trees, but it would only be cooking for myself, my disciple and two other servants.” Shen Qingqiu offered and watched the woman stutter and blanche.

Dear god, was it a haunted estate? The site of some insidious triple homicide? None of the stains had seemed that bad. Shen Qingqiu figured he’d need to perform a rather public exorcism first before trying to recruit any additional servants

Before Shen Qingqiu could apologize and try to wheedle out why the estate was considered poor employment for the villagers, the woman moved from behind her makeshift stand to stand in front of Shen Qingqiu with a fierce expression.

“How long is gongzi staying in Binzhen?” she demanded.

“This master plans to stay for a year at least, and will pay yearly wages to the estate’s servants,” Shen Qingqiu answered smoothly.

“And the wages?” she asked while looking Shen Qingqiu up and down with a squint.

Ah, here was the rub. Lord Yue’s previous head cook made 30 silver a year with a sizeable New Year’s bonus of fifty percent of his wages. He had managed more than a dozen cooks and servants and cooked for an estate of nearly forty. And that was the wage in the capitol. Paying so much out here would be ludicrous.

Yet their groceries hadn’t been the cheapest; the fish, beans, and hemp were local but some sort of trade or additional production was required for the others. Rent for the entire estate was 5 gold 15 silver, and Shen Qingqiu suspected he’d overpaid.

And of course, one was expected to haggle.

“The wage is 12 silver, with a yearly bonus for well-done work,” Shen Qingqiu replied coolly, watching his opponent’s face carefully.

She was still pale as the sand. Now her lips quivered before she rallied with a fierce glare. “And what else besides cooking is expected?”

“Tending the kitchen garden,” Shen Qingqiu replied quickly. Shit, did he look like a lecher? Or was it ghostly rumors? Too much money, too little? Please madam, throw me a fucking bone here.

“Cooking and gardening for 12 silver with a bonus?” she replied incredulously.

“Mm,” Shen Qingqiu agreed. She looked genuinely pissed now. “If madam is not interested, perhaps she could direct this master to someone who would be interested in the job?”

“Oh no, I’m interested. Don’t go offering to little miss Chunhua, she can’t cook worth a damn!” the woman hissed and managed to step even closer to Shen Qingqiu. “This Fei Fei will be at the estate by noon,” she announced to Shen Qingqiu’s face before packing up her little stall and disappearing down the alley.

“Well,” Shen Qingqiu said lightly and glanced at Binghe, who also looked flabbergasted by the woman’s demeanor. “One down and one to go.” He passed another bao to the boy who didn’t hesitate to devour it.

With so much accomplished, they made their way back to the estate. Binghe gamely scrubbed down the kitchen while Shen Qingqiu prepared anti-pest talismans. They found the perfect space for their xian xia fridge and stocked the storage with their finds from the village.

Binghe delivered some of the cotton and hemp to a grateful Old Guo in the servant’s quarters nearest the gate and left another bolt in the recently swept hut for their new cook.

Before Binghe could get started turning over the old kitchen garden, Shen Qingqiu summoned him for some well-deserved tea.

With a freshly brewed pot, an oiled table top, and a significant lack of dust, they settled down onto their lumpy cushions.

“What does Binghe think of little Binzhen?” Shen Qingqiu questioned. Really, he hoped the boy wasn’t too disappointed. Shen Qingqiu really wanted to make it up to him but wasn’t sure how to even start going about it in this backwater.

“It’s quaint and quiet,” Binghe offered diplomatically.

Before Shen Qingqiu could question him further, the boy voiced his other observations. “But it’s a little strange, isn’t it Shizun?”

Shen Qingqiu sipped the piping hot tea. “Strange how?”

“The town’s poor, but it has craftsmen. And a real road,” Binghe pointed out.

“Indeed,” Shen Qingqiu agreed as he turned it over.

“Perhaps Binghe could fetch Uncle Guo when he’s finished his tea? A local might be able to shed some light on the situation,” Shen Qingqiu suggested.

“Don’t slurp!” he reprimanded as the boy tried to finish his tea too quickly.

Old Guo joined them just as quick as his old bones could manage. He bowed and muttered his thanks for the cloth and was equally shocked and delighted to hear a cook had been hired and workmen would be arriving to take on some repairs.

“While this master was out this morning, a few things seemed out of the ordinary in Binzhen,” Shen Qingqiu began. “There’s really quite an array of tradesmen for such a small town.”

“Yes Master Shen, Binzhen was larger before people started moving away,” Old Guo agreed.

“And the main road was in good repair,” Shen Qingqiu said while Old Guo lingered by the door and offered nothing but a nod, neither agreeing or disagreeing with Shen Qingqiu’s assessment and certainly not adding anything insightful.

“So perhaps the downturn in prosperity can be attributed to a recent event?” Shen Qingqiu pried.

“That’s likely, Master Shen,” Old Guo nodded again and Shen Qingqiu sipped his tea slowly instead of hurling the cup at the difficult man’s head. What happened to the useful old timer from last night? Was it time for his afternoon nap?

Or perhaps it was the subject at hand?

“Uncle Guo has lived here some time though. So he must have a good sense of the history of the town,” Shen Qingqiu tried again.

Old Guo finally gave up the goods. “Yes, Master Shen,” he said slowly, as if each word had to be pulled from his mouth “Binzhen has been poorer since the ghost came to the hot springs.”

Side quest fucking activated! Shen Qingqiu kept the amusement off his face and tried to look only mildly concerned. “A ghost, you say? Has Uncle Guo seen the apparition himself?”

“No, Master Shen. This servant stays far away. But I’ve seen the results plenty,” he said ominously.

“Results?” Shen Qingqiu inquired.

Old Guo literally shuddered. “The hot springs can change a man, make him grotesque. Ever since that shrine was desecrated.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

The hot springs in question weren’t in the village proper, but up further from the beach and set near the base of some rocky hills. These hills would turn into sturdy mountains if one kept climbing, and fresh water rivulets fed from both snow and weather meandered down, all the way to the beach in places. Elsewhere they pooled in the rocky terrain and made some treacherously deep ponds. Some of the pools were ice cold, betraying their origin as snow melt. But the deepest pools were heated naturally from geothermic activity even deeper below.

Such a unique area, within view of the lovely coast, snowy peaks visible on the horizon, and black, still water beside steaming pools, attracted a variety of characters. Thus, a shrine had been established there, and later, a hot springs, making the location wholly lucrative.

The stories Old Guo had shared piqued Shen Qingqiu’s interest. However, it was not possible for him to begin their ghost hunt right away. Their cook arrived, with two small children in tow whom she assured Master Shen would be as quiet as mice.

A lunch that would have been described as delectable if Shen Qingqiu hadn’t previously sampled Binghe’s fare was served late that afternoon. Shen Qingqiu heard nothing else from his new employee and assumed the living quarters were to their liking. But he suspected if Fei Fei had any issues, she wouldn’t hesitate to make her complaints known.

Binghe helped him inspect their garden and tidy some of the beds, much to the horror of Old Guo who kept trying to take the spade directly from Shen Qingqiu’s hands.

Then the shipwright’s apprentices arrived, tired already from a long day’s work but interested in the new project. The lads were up the sides of the main house like monkeys and reattached any of the wood edging in good enough condition. They promised to return tomorrow with planks to repair the rest of it and were overjoyed at their tips of a copper coin each. Fei Fei sweetened the pot and brought each of the apprentices two spare bao from the kitchen. Shen Qingqiu watched, amused at Fei Fei’s glare as if daring Master Shen to challenge her for the generosity.

Shen Qingqiu had other matters to attend to than battling his unnecessarily prickly cook. There had been a few scrolls left in the main house, but the broken window panels had let in a lot of weather and many of the were mildewed and unreadable. He had attempted to save some of them by rubbing the paper gently with raw grain alcohol and then coating the pages in chalk dust. They were sitting in the sun in the side house, but only time would tell.

The storage however, yielded a few books and scrolls that had been left behind by the previous occupants. Shen Qingqiu was combing through these to try and find any basis for the disruptive haunting. While the changes in the town’s prosperity had been recent, the ghost could have been here a long time. Perhaps it was one of those once every hundred and sixty years events, just enough time for mortal witnesses to die off and any stories to fade into unspecific superstitions. Binghe offered to assist, and Shen Qingqiu was initially tempted. Two sets of eyes could read twice as fast. But then he’d seen the boy’s practice papers and sentenced him to two additional shichen of calligraphy practice.

Their little shipwright apprentices did return the next day, and the older one brought his elder sister with him. Word had gotten around that the estate needed more servants, and the girl was swiftly hired as a maid. She was however happily living with her family, so she would arrive early and head home before dinner. Shen Qingqiu was certain he and Binghe were tidy enough on their own that the arrangement would suit them without issue.

When Shen Qingqiu entered the kitchens to let Fei Fei know the other servants’ quarters would remain available in case she wanted to make a play space or study room for the kids, she glared over the soup she was seasoning and demanded to know what the rent would be.

“Like your other room, it’s included in your wages,” Shen Qingqiu replied. The formidable Fei Fei was distracted for a moment by trying to pretend she wasn’t tearing up, so Shen Qingqiu took the opportunity to snag a sweet rice cake on his way out.

By then it was getting too late for gardening. Shen Qingqiu had to burn off his fitful energy with making new heating talismans while Binghe dutifully carried the bath water.

Finally submerged in the steaming water and ensconced behind a mostly intact screen, Shen Qingqiu was finding it challenging to relax.

“Binghe?” Shen Qingqiu called out.

In moments the boy was on the other side of the screen. “What can this one do for Shizun?”

“This master just wanted to go over the plans. We’ll head out after lunch. It’s a hot springs after all, so as newcomers in the village, it’s plausible we would want to see the sights.”

Binghe hummed in agreement from the other side.

“This master has plenty of exorcism talismans prepared. And when we get rid of the ghost, just imagine. We’ll have a hot springs practically in our backyard,” Shen Qingqiu imagined gleefully. “No more hauling water for you, and we can just soak to our heart’s content. And it might take some time for the story of the ghost to fade, so we’ll have the baths practically to ourselves.”

He heard the boy suck in his breath. Really, what was he getting worked up about now? His calligraphy lessons were done for the day.

Once they were out of the village proper, Shen Qingqiu flew them both further from the coast. The landscape did change dramatically, and soon they were walking along an ill-tended path towards the shape of a building partially obscured by the persistent fog and towering cypresses.

It was clearly an establishment of some kind, with large windows and a wide gate. The wood was in better condition than Shen Qingqiu’s rental, but it was more protected here from the coastal wind and salt. The place was too quiet for a business; no welcome lanterns were out, no curtains, and no lights were lit. Shen Qingqiu knocked at the door, but nothing responded but the buzz of insects and the faint crash of the surf in the distance.

Shen Qingqiu tested the door, and it slid right open as if it had been oiled recently.

“Shizun, let me!” Binghe tried to get in front of him and Shen Qingqiu just ignored the attempts. Really, the boy was still growing and certainly still learning, why did he think it was his job to go first into a potentially haunted building?

“Binghe will behave or he will be sent back to the estate,” Shen Qingqiu warned. He didn’t even need to mentioned calligraphy, Binghe had learned this lesson well and fell behind Shen Qingqiu without another complaint.

The inside was in decent repair as well. Polished wood shone along the walls, though the reed mats underfoot were frayed at the edges and cracked in places. The narrow hallway ended in a big room with a large reception desk. A single candle was lit and some paltry light streamed through the garden windows. A very alive and breathing woman was hunched over the desk, pouring over an open ledger. Her dark hair was wrapped eloquently around her head with small braids framing the edges and held in place with a gold hairpin. Long, manicured nails tapped fitfully on the wood desk top.

The old reed mat crunched under Binghe’s boot and the woman snapped her head up suddenly to see them. “Customers! How splendid!” the madam of establishment shrieked with joy and moved from behind the desk to greet them properly. Binghe sucked in his breath and Shen Qingqiu reminded himself to lecture the boy when they got home. The middle-aged woman was of diminutive stature and dressed in a golden outer robe of coarse silk. Her thick, decorative belt was also lovely and embroidered with orchids but placed a little higher than was usual. Likely to keep her robe from gaping since she had the most massive chest Shen Qingqiu had ever seen.

Shen Qingqiu was not surprised she was pleased to see them. Exorcising the ghost would benefit her health greatly. The hot springs would likely do wonders for her back pain.

“Good afternoon, Madam,” Shen Qingqiu greeted with a nod and kept his damn eyes on her face where they belonged.

“Are these masters here to experience the magical healing properties of the ancient Binzhen hot springs?” the madam asked with barely contained glee.

Shen Qingqiu paused. The hot springs was clearly in need of the business. An outright refusal might hinder the flow of information.

“Perhaps later,” Shen Qingqiu said gently and still felt like a cad when the madam’s face fell. “This master is new to Binzhen and would like to hear more about this establishment. Perhaps over refreshments? It is quite early, but if your kitchens are open…”

The madam’s energy was restored and she led them over to a vacant table overlooking the minimal but maintained garden.

“Just one moment, esteemed masters,” she simpered with a bow before disappearing into the back.

Good, it would give him a moment with his young, male disciple who needed a reminder on decorum. “Binghe, no matter a person’s station in life, their family, their livelihood, or their physical shape and features, all deserve the assistance of cultivators with demons, ghosts, yao, or the undead. And we must maintain a respectful demeanor and deal with mortals with justice and benevolence.”

The boy nodded as he continued looking around, “Yes, Shizun,” he offered mildly, obviously still distracted.

“Binghe, if you look at the madam’s chest again, you will chop firewood for the entire village,” Shen Qingqiu promised.

That snapped the boy out of it. His face exploded in a red blush and he stammered, his eyes darting about before finally daring to look his Shizun in the face. “Shizun!” he whined. “This disciple wasn’t looking there! This disciple has no interest in looking at…that!”

“Binghe’s interests are not pertinent. It’s his behavior. This master doesn’t care if the madam has to make use of a cane to keep from toppling over. This master and his disciple will treat her with respect while we investigate,” Shen Qingqiu warned quietly as another woman appeared from the back.

This one was clearly a serving girl. Her robes were neat and clean, and she knelt respectfully at the table before setting up their tea service. Shen Qingqiu smiled politely and allowed her to pour for them both. She didn’t seem nervous as a young woman working in a deserted, haunted hot springs should be.

“This servant is called Song Hui. Madam informed this servant that the masters had some questions about the hot springs?” she asked demurely with her eyes downcast.

Strange that the madam would not assist them herself. Shen Qingqiu fought the urge to fidget uncomfortably. Perhaps his disguise as a traveling scholar was a little too on mark today. Xiu Ya was tucked away discreetly. And these robes weren’t in the best condition, but one doesn’t fight ghosts and spirits in their finest!

Shen Qingqiu nodded and sipped his tea. The tea was mediocre, but beggars or wandering scholars on a budget couldn’t be choosers. “Yes, this one is a traveling scholar and was interested in the folklore of the area. Binzhen seems to have some interesting local tales. This master has already heard at length the story of the Chained Wave Bull and the Water Fairy.” Pure grade-A bullshit. When Shen Qingqiu had stumbled upon that particular tale in the estate’s abandoned scrolls, he'd been pleased he hadn’t allowed his impressionable young disciple to assist him.

“But this master has heard there is a tale involving the hot springs and a lonesome spirit?” Shen Qingqiu bullshitted.

Miss Song watched him carefully. Shen Qingqiu took a bite of one of the pastries. The dough was bland but the bean filling was decadently sweet and made the tea much more palatable.

“This servant hasn’t heard anything about a lonesome spirit, but there is a tale that involves the Binzhen hot springs,” she said finally.

“This master would be pleased to hear it,” Shen Qingqiu assured her while gesturing to Binghe. The boy obediently slid a silver coin across the table to Miss Song.

Miss Song quickly pocketed it and proceeded to share what she knew. “There was a shrine to Lady Yunhua behind the hot springs. It’s been there as long as anyone can remember. The old monk passed away a while ago, but we all kept up the shrine because it was good for business. Many travelers pass by to use the hot springs and pray to Lady Yunhua for help with fertility problems,” the girl blushed at the simple mention.

Shen Qingqiu nodded to show he was paying attention and picked up another small cake.

“But a few years ago, a drunk noble visited the shrine and caroused about in an unbecoming manner. He broke the statue on Lady Yunhua’s altar,” Miss Song said. She sounded honestly upset. Perhaps Yunhua was also something like Bizhen’s patron deity as well as a tourist attraction.

“Instead of telling us what he did and letting us try to fix, he gathered the broken pieces of the deity’s statue. This servant mentioned he was drunk, yes?” the girl asked in an uncertain tone.

“Yes, Miss Song did mention,” Shen Qingqiu reassured her.

“Yes, well, drunk, he decided to hide the broken statue and the place he chose was the hot springs itself,” she said, still clearly irritated by this man’s drunken antics.

“So the broken statue was not found?” Shen Qingqiu prompted.

“Oh no, we all know perfectly well where it is. It’s in the main pool, in the hot springs. The water’s quite clear, you can see every piece well enough.”

Shen Qingqiu paused. He looked at Binghe, to try and see if he had perhaps missed something while demolishing the provided sweets. His disciple looked as confused as he felt.

“But Miss Song, why not just remove the pieces from the springs and repair it?” Shen Qingqiu finally asked.

“Because of the mother’s curse, or blessing, depending upon your outlook on such things,” Miss Song said with a glance at the reception desk, which the madam had not returned to yet.

Binghe picked up one of the hot spring egg’s and started carefully peeling it for his Shizun.

Miss Song piped up, “The eggs are cooked in our own hot springs, and the curse doesn’t transfer to them. They’re perfectly safe to eat!”

“Lovely,” Shen Qingqiu replied as Binghe’s peeling slowed. Shen Qingqiu flicked his eyes from the egg to Binghe’s sleeves, and thankfully the boy caught on.

“Your forgiveness, Miss Song. This master simply doesn’t understand why no one will fish the fragments from the springs so Yunhua can be repaired.”

Miss Song shook her head frantically. “No one dares. The Madam thinks it’s a blessing and everyone’s just too silly to see it. The Madam has paid for painted posters to advertise the Binzhen hot springs all the way to the capital. But as the esteemed masters can see, this plan hasn’t bore much fruit.”

Indeed, as Shen Qingqiu had never heard of the place before the bookseller had revealed his son’s desire to rent the property.

“What exactly, Miss Song, is the mother’s curse?” Shen Qingqiu explicitly asked.

“Well,” Miss Song stammered. Shen Qingqiu watched her carefully as she twisted her hands in her sleeves. “The esteemed masters saw the Madam, did they not?”

“Yes, this master was greeted by the Madam,” Shen Qingqiu confirmed.

“The hot springs did that. To her,” Miss Song said, then awkwardly waved her hand over her own chest.

Ah, wow. Holy hell. Shen Qingqiu was silent for a moment.

“But surely the curse won’t effect men?” Binghe asked from across the table.

Miss Song shook her head vigorously. “It changes everyone who enters it, even if a person is just splashed with the waters. The longer the exposure, the more profound the results. So no one, not even immortal cultivators, will dare enter the waters now.”

“And the Madam?” Shen Qingqiu tried to inquire circuitously.

“The Madam used to bathe in the springs every morning until she reached her current proportions,” Miss Song confirmed.

“This Master is beginning to understand the problem.” Shen Qingqiu finished his tea and allowed Binghe to refill his cup. The desire to bury his head in his hands was strong, but he took the time to consider the issue. That sort of profound bodily modification was a powerful curse or, as Miss Song suggested, of a divine nature. And while the lack of a hot springs robbed the town of most of its income, the Madam was somehow pleased with the development?

“So even if there was a way to retrieve the Yunhua statue and see it repaired, the Madam would not allow it?” Shen Qingqiu asked to make sure he understood.

Miss Song paused before answering. “The Madam truly thinks it’s a divine blessing but also realizes now that it hurts business and hurts Bizhen. If there was a way to fix it, the Madam could probably be convinced.”

“Well, then if Miss Song could convince her, this Master will develop a plan to retrieve the Yunhua fragments without making contact with the highly reactive waters,” Shen Qingqiu said with a nod. It should just be a matter of planning. They could cover themselves with oiled cloth and send Xiu Ya under to push the pieces into a big net. Binzhen was a fishing village; a net and oil cloth would be easy to acquire.

Miss Song looked dumbstruck and Shen Qingqiu decided to spill some of the beans. “This master also dabbles in cultivation,” he shot Binghe a look when the boy snorted indelicately. “And this one expects with a little preparation the issue could be solved without mishap.”

Miss Song bowed until her head touched the floor. “What is the name of the esteemed master who will save Bizhen?”

Well, there was no hiding it now. He’d signed the lease papers with his real name, given it to his new servants and hadn’t even bothered coming up with a pseudonym. Which was fine, really. It wasn’t like Lord Yue would even look for him. Once the shook wore off, he’d realize it was for the best and that Shen Qingqiu had solved all his problems for him by disappearing.

“This one is Master Shen,” he replied and rose smoothly. “Would Miss Song be so kind to allow this master and his disciple to inspect the afflicted hot springs? In order to craft an immaculate plan, we must account for every eventuality.”

Back at the estate, Shen Qingqiu grilled his employees about the hot springs. They repeated the same story, with some embellishments. Fei Fei was convinced the madam and drunken noble had been in some sort of cahoots and the goddess’s curse was due to this and not an accidentally broken statue.

The hot springs boiled eggs Binghe had pinched from their meal didn’t reveal any additional clues. There wasn’t a smack of demonic qi or resentful energy on them. Daringly, Binghe even took a bite of one with no ill consequences.

After dinner, Shen Qingqiu busied himself with creating new talismans. A summoning talisman wasn’t possible; from the edge of the water it wasn’t clear what sort of stone the statue was made of and Miss Song didn’t know either. And he certainly didn’t want to summon every damn bolder in the hot springs.

The area around the hot springs was simple enough for their initial plan to remain as Plan A: wood walkways led to smoothed stone, and then some aesthetically placed rocks, dramatic maples, and understated greenery. The usual wooden benches, stools, and buckets were scattered about, and Shen Qingqiu requested all the furniture be moved prior to the attempted statue rescue, but to leave the buckets. He’d also asked Old Guo and Fei Fei to see about mending as many buckets as they could find in storage or on the estate grounds. Somehow in the middle of wrangling Fei Fei’s cooperation, he’d promised to teach her children, a boy and girl, 6 and 5, to read and write. Many buckets would be needed to safely carry the fragments, and Xiu Ya as well since she would need to be thoroughly rinsed before Shen Qingqiu was comfortable wielding her by hand again.

They would see about ordering the oil cloths from the shipwright in the morning. Shen Qingqiu prepared a few shielding talismans as a backup, but their effectiveness was questionable as they were designed to repel a forceful attack, not a few drops of water.

If for some reason, Xiu Ya experienced any issues in the water, he would try a current talisman to push the statue fragments into the shallows to make them easier to net.

And if the current talisman was bust, Shen Qingqiu’s third idea was just to fish them out. He’d seen how large some of the hooks for ocean fish were; it seemed likely he’d be able to latch onto something.

It took the better part of a week to acquire and organize the oil cloth, thick gloves, a long oar, the fishing pole with a variety of hooks, and the army of buckets. By then the whole village had heard that the new master of the estate was a cultivator intent of solving their hot springs dilemma, and folks stopped him on the street to either thank him profusely or warn him of the hot spring’s terrible, shameful powers. It did slow down their errands, but also earned them some excellent deals.

Finally, they arrived at the Binzhen hot springs to catch the broken Yunhua figure. The madam was subdued to see them and all their awkward baggage but led them to the hot springs herself.

“This one thanks Master Shen,” she said somewhat tearfully as she stood back to watch the cultivators work.

They set up two oiled sails at first as emergency splash stations. If something stirred up the water unexpectedly, they could conceivably hide behind these until the water calmed. Then they fastened the net in the shallows, attaching the edges first before dropping it in gently.

To prepare themselves, they wrapped their hair under bandanas. The style was ludicrous but kept any stray hairs away tucked away. Then two layers of oil cloth ponchos, one with sleeve-like openings and a larger one over the top. The gloves went on once Shen Qingqiu distributed extra talismans to Binghe and they both activated their potentially unreliable shield talismans.

“My, Master Shen really did come prepared,” the madam said from her vantage point on the wooden veranda.

“Indeed. It is this master’s goal to the solve the problem once and for all,” Shen Qingqiu said from within his ridiculous get up. No wonder no cultivators would help with the issue, the whole thing was just too embarrassing.

Without further ado, Shen Qingqiu made a sword seal to summon Xiu Ya. He’d practiced in the clunky gloves and felt confident enough to move her gracelessly like a shovel under the water.

“No reason to delay any further,” Shen Qingqiu said and when Binghe was in place with the buckets, he sent Xiu Ya into the water.

She moved effortlessly at first, but once submerged the water created an optical illusion so tracking the blade was tricky. Shen Qingqiu had to send her back to the first fragment, then turned her sideways to begin to push.

But once Xiu Ya connected with the statue, Shen Qingqiu’s lost control. He tried another seal, to summon her back, but she was effectively dead in the water after making contact with the divine statue fragment.

Binghe worriedly look at his Shizun’s blade, lifeless under the cursed waters. “Don’t worry, we prepared for this possibility,” Shen Qingqiu admonished and got the current seal ready.

His first throw was a little off, but the seal hit one of the big rocks just low enough to touch the water’s surface. The effect was instantaneous, and waves of water moved from that point, pushing many fragments closer to the shallows. Binghe used the oar to guide the smaller fragments that were already caught in the current and moved them into the net. Even Xiu Ya started flowing back towards the shallows.

Shen Qingqiu prepared and launched another talisman, which was harder to do in gloves than he’d imagined. This one hit the water, and while it initially made some waves, the water made the ink run and the talisman fizzled out too quickly to be effective.

Shen Qingqiu pulled a glove off to more easily get the talisman where it needed to be. He ignored Binghe’s sharp intake of breath and threw again, hitting another rock as an anchor while the edge of the paper touched the water and quickly generated another strong current.

“How are we doing?” Shen Qingqiu asked as he made his back to the netting area. Almost all of the smaller fragments and several of the larger ones were already safely in the net.

“Shizun’s plan is working perfectly,” Binghe praised him but wisely kept his eyes on his work, pushing the pieces that drifted towards him into the net with the oar gently enough to not cause more than a ripple.

“Excellent, but stay vigilant. One little mistake can still lead to failure,” Shen Qingqiu warned him as he made his way back around the edge of the pool. The last current talisman was wearing out and he prepared the next one.

He threw the talisman, and even without a glove the aim was off. The talisman latched too high up on the rock and didn’t generate any current since there was no water to activate it. Shen Qingqiu sighed and prepared another one, which landed true and continued to push the remaining fragments closer and closer to the net.

That last failed talisman slipped down the wet rock, and instead of falling into the water entirely to be wiped clean, stuck onto the damp, active talisman below it.

A waters churned immediately and a wave taller than a man crashed over the edge before Binghe could even look up. “Shizun!” the boy yelled, not seeing his master anywhere.

“Fucking hell!” Shen Qingqiu sputtered as he stood up from the water, soaking wet and infinitely uncomfortable in all the now useless layers.

“Oh, Master Shen best get out quickly,” the madam warned from her safe vantage point.

Shen Qingqiu grabbed Xiu Ya and the last two remaining fragments as he waded towards the edge. “Madam, if this master could bother you for some towels and a dry robe?” Shen Qingqiu asked with a snarl and she moved quickly to obey.

Shen Qingqiu waved Binghe away and chucked the remaining fragments into the nets.

“Let this master pull it up, as there’s no worries about this one touching the waters any longer,” Shen Qingqiu ordered and reminded himself to not wave the boy away to prevent accidentally flicking water at him.

“Go and stand behind the safe screens,” Shen Qingqiu added as he pulled the net from the shallows. The boy thankfully obeyed though he looked on the verge of tears. He stripped off his ponchos and outer robes, wringing out the sleeves in the shallows before beginning to pluck the fragments from the net and deposit them in buckets. Poor Xiu Ya got her own bucket.

Shen Qingqiu wanted to stay busy to ignore the warmth and tingling in his chest. But after all the fragments were safely drying in their buckets, there was nothing to do but wait for fresh robes.

“Once these dry, we’ll rinse them off in the stream,” Shen Qingqiu reminded him.

"What about Shizun?” Binghe asked mournfully.

Shen Qingqiu sighed. “Once fresh robes arrive, we’ll see how bad the damage is.”

Miss Song arrived soon after with a hamper of towels, fresh robes, and a screen.

“Master Shen should just leave his robes over the screen to dry. This servant will see to washing them once they are safe to handle,” Miss Song said as she dutifully passed towels to him from in front of the screen.

Shen Qingqiu grunted in response. Once his robes were off, it was all too apparent he’d been changed by the curse. His smooth, slightly sculpted chest was now…jiggly. He had nothing on the madam’s assets, but when he looked down there were undeniably two pert breasts for him to behold. He toweled his hair off vigorously before dressing in the borrowed robes, eager to cover the abnormal sight. The outer jacket was a nice touch, and Shen Qingqiu’s fastened it loosely before stepping out from behind the screen

“This one is sorry for Master Shen’s misfortunes,” Miss Song said softly as soon as he appeared.

“This master will bring the statue to the smith once the fragments have dried and been rinsed off,” Shen Qingqiu said through gritted teeth.

“Thanking Master Shen for his dedication in face of the mother’s curse,” Miss Song replied with downcast eyes.

Binghe joined them once his master was dry and changed. The lesson from earlier had apparently stuck because Shen Qingqiu didn’t catch the boy’s eyes wandering.

“Miss Song mentioned others had attempted to retrieve the statue fragments,” Shen Qingqiu prompted.

“Yes, but they failed where Master Shen succeeded.”

The praise did nothing to alleviate Shen Qingqiu’s mood. “Surely others were afflicted with the curse in the attempt?”

“Yes Master Shen, all who tried were cursed,” Miss Song replied dutifully.

“This master noticed the men of the village are not walking around demonstrably afflicted by the curse? So does Miss Song know how one goes about removing the effects of the mother’s curse?” Shen Qingqiu asked, trying to continue speaking calmly despite the sheer frustration of it all.

Miss Song blushed and continued looking downward. “Answering Master Shen, yes this servant knows how to lift the curse. Unfortunately, Master Shen, it’s removed just the way mothers do it. Divine power caused it, and the the excess divine energy must be expelled.”

“Please Miss Song, this master assures you he’s experienced with many curses and their antidotes. What exactly is needed to expel the spiritual energy from the…afflicted area?” Please don’t let it be dual cultivation, please don’t let it be dual cultivation.

“Just like a mother does, Master Shen. A mouth, like an infant, but not an actual infant since there is no milk. A mouth must…make contact and take out the divine energy. Through the tip,” Miss Song stammered while looking at the ground.

Fucking hell. Someone had to suck all the divine energy out from his unwanted tits?

“This master understands,” Shen Qingqiu said blandly even though he really wanted to flip a table and scream right about now.

“Come along, Binghe!” he called as he stormed out of the hot springs in robes that were uncomfortably tight in the chest.

Getting dressed the next morning was infinitely awkward. His robes just didn’t sit right any longer. The coastal village was certainly chillier than the capital. So a few extra layers were warranted and could also assist in covering inconvenient things.

“Binghe,” Shen Qingqiu called for his apprentice once he’d finished dressing.

“Shizun?” the boy appeared and ducked into the room once he saw Shen Qingqiu was fully dressed.

“This master would like Binghe’s opinion.” Shen Qingqiu only had one small bronze mirror. It wasn’t large enough to capture the whole picture. But he thought he’d done a good enough job concealing his new, wholly unwanted features.

Spinning around, Shen Qingqiu could tell from seeing Binghe’s pale face that he hadn’t done as good of a job as he thought he had. He looked down at his chest, and sure, there was something going on there, but the layers of robes padded the rest of his body too. There was no gaping and he figured his silhouette would just appear a bit more rotund. Which was completely understandable since he was now the master of his own estate and had a cook that actually fed him three times a day!

“Perhaps Shizun would like another layer?” Binghe asked as he opened the wardrobe and started going through the few remaining robes.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

For the next few weeks, Shen Qingqiu’s days were quiet. He helped tidy the estate, or at least made important decisions about the flower beds. His sewing hadn’t improved much during the short time he had been convinced he could sew more permanent (but way too complicated!) talismans directly into the material. But he was able to stitch up their floor cushions. Also, the tailor had come into some raw silk which Binghe had commissioned into a padded jacket for his Shizun. It fit very well, all things considered. And it was green. So, it wasn’t like he was trapped at home, sulking.

Shen Qingqiu was a very busy man, thank you. The number of needy children he had to teach had tripled.

Binghe knew his Shizun was in no mood and didn’t complain about his extra lessons. And his youngest students were too energetic but happy to learn anything Shen Qingqiu had to teach them. Getting them to hold a brush correctly had been a thing, and some practice smocks to go over their day clothes were quickly pieced together. Shen Qingqiu had attempted those himself until Fei Fei had taken pity on him and showed him a few stitches. Which was actually a shit ton easier to learn with someone showing you! They even worked on some table place settings together with the spare raw silk. What can he say, he had an eye for excellent and loyal employees. Not that Yue Qingyuan ever noticed or cared. The man let rats into his estate like he was planning on opening a rat circus.

But at least Fei Fei’s children were nice enough, and too young to be obnoxious about Shen Qingqiu’s condition.

It wasn’t that the villagers weren’t nice. They were very nice! They greeted Shen Qingqiu far too kindly and bowed far too low when he took his strolls later in the evening. But of course, they knew about the hot springs incident. They were exceedingly generous too with anything the estate might need, but it made Shen Qingqiu shudder to know they all knew what had happened to him. They probably all gossiped about it too.

It was just thing to be endured. Of course, using his precious disciple as a counter-curse was not a solution! The boy must have been half mad to suggest it. The impropriety! Shen Qingqiu hadn’t even felt bad about the laps he had Binghe running all day until every inappropriate thought had been sweated out of his disciple’s brain.

Others had offered. But again, it was inappropriate. He didn’t even know these people! And from the size of the dose of cursed hot springs water he’d been exposed to, he might be several “treatment” sessions. It was unthinkable.

Fei Fei had threatened to pin him down and be done with it. She quickly abandoned that route when Shen Qingqiu had stormed out at the suggestion. Really, what was the point of living practically on the beach if one didn’t walk in the sand to one’s heart’s content. Even at night, the sound and smell of the surf was soothing. He wasn't brooding, he was strolling.

And it was a moot point anyway. Shen Qingqiu thought he noticed his…breasts diminishing in size. With the curse gone and the goddess statue repaired and enshrined once again, it made sense for the energy to disperse over time. So really, this was just a waiting game. An awkward waiting game.

The villagers had even thrown a festival to honor the restoration of the Lady Yunhua. They’d cleaned and repaired the old shrine then made floats to deliver the repaired statue back to her home. Binghe had said it had been very picturesque. Shen Qingqiu had unfortunately been unable to attend due to scheduling conflicts. Which was a surely real shame since they’d offered to have him lead the parade. Such a pity and all that.

Shen Qinqqiu had to remind himself that morning that’s he’d come to Binzhen for peace and quiet. His little brats had done well enough earlier with their lessons, and Shen Qingqiu had learned to not expect unwavering concentration from students so young. So they’d been released already with the promise of a short painting lesson in the garden after lunch. They were now assisting Fei Fei and Guo in the new vegetable gardens. And if the screams and high-pitched laughter was any indication, they were working very hard to cover every inch of themselves in dirt.

Shen Qingqiu had no intention in assisting with that task or to be anywhere around when Fei Fei had to bathe the two mud goblins. So to while away the time, he sat down a scroll that had proved to be completely unentertaining and made his way to the beach. His padded jacket was very useful for sheltering him from the wind chill.

Despite his hopes, no additional Wave Bulls had returned to the beach. There were some interesting tracks in the sand closer to some of the small tide pools. Shen Qingqiu was stooped over, examining them when he heard a shout from above.

Craning his face skyward only got him an eyeful of the sun. Shielding his eyes, he looked again and saw the unmistakably flight pattern of a spiritual sword in the sky.

“Fucking hell,” Shen Qingqiu muttered as he hurried away. The whole beach was open terrain, there was nothing to hide under unless he wanted to dive into the waves themselves. And Shen Qingqiu had had enough adventures with expected dips in the water to last him a lifetime.

He tried to glance up as he walked quickly back towards the estate, one hand resting on Xiu Ya’s hilt. The sun was in an inopportune position, but there was certainly someone up there, spiraling downward and seemingly uncertain where to land. Hopefully they were just uncertain and not waiting for reinforcements.

If it was a bounty hunter, and they were alone, Shen Qingqiu was resolved to kill them. He didn’t have enough money to buy their silence, and a man, once bought, could be bought again for a slightly higher price. If it was more than one, well, he’d have to see.

He didn’t think Lord Yue would be bothered to hire anyone to come after him. It was more likely an old rival looking to settle the score now that he was no longer under Lord Yue’s protection. Boosting Yue Qingyuan’s standing in court hadn’t been a victimless endeavor. He’d made plenty of enemies for them both while assuring his Lord Husband had enough standing. Somehow having enough standing to live safely had transformed into enough standing to purchase a Liu clan spouse, but who could have predicted that.

“Shen Qingqiu!” a voice raised itself over the crash of the surf and against his better judgement, Shen Qingqiu stopped dead in his tracks to stare upwards.

There was no way it was hot enough to have sun stroke. And he wasn’t old enough to have bad eyesight. So how the hell had thick-headed Liu Qingge found him?

Shen Qingqiu’s thoughts churned relentlessly as the man descended quickly towards him on Cheng Luan. Had he heard about the hot springs ghost and came to exorcise it himself? But no, that didn’t make sense. This was a rural area. A hundred men would need to have their heads cut off and bodies eaten for the story to reach the capital. Even though the real story was a little salacious, there wasn’t enough danger or treasure to captivate the cultivators in the capital.

The why really didn’t matter anyway, the question was if he was here by himself?

The man didn’t take night hunts alone anymore, it wouldn’t be appropriate for a first spouse of Yue Qingyuan. But maybe Lord Yue wasn’t even back from the palace yet and Liu Qingge had figured what the Lord didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him? Could it really be a coincidence?

“Good morning First Husband Liu,” Shen Qingqiu called up to him with false cheer.

Shen Qingqiu had almost made it back to the estate. And apparently his absence had been noted because Binghe was near the front gates. But Binghe, upon hearing the address, ducked back inside the estate gate. Good boy, though it was unlikely they’d be able to ambush the War God.

“Shen arrrgh!” nearing the ground, the man startled and slipped off his sword. Shen Qingqiu watched in disbelief as the war god tumbled through the air to crash onto a half-rotted wood fence, Cheng Luan toppling into the sand a moment later. How the hell had the war god fallen from his sword in midflight? Could something have distracted him? Shen Qingqiu hurried over; a twenty-foot fall wouldn’t kill him, but it certainly wasn’t beneficial to his health.

As Shen Qingqiu approached, Liu Qingge stood up and shook himself. Gripping his right arm, he struggled to summon Cheng Luan. Shen Qingqiu carefully picked up the discarded blade and handed it to the man who had to sheath it left-handed.

Inexplicably, it was Liu Qingge in the flesh; but a Liu Qingge who looked tired, robes gray and dingy from dirt, and injured from the fall. Before Shen Qingqiu could ask after his arm, the man spoke up

“Did you run away to give birth?” Liu Qingge practically shouted, his voice echoing over the dunes.

Shen Qingqiu froze as he let his brain try to parse that bizarre statement. But nothing could emerge from the brain fog. Maybe the man had hit his head on the way down?

“Is it Lord Yue’s?” Liu Qingge followed up and Shen Qingqiu blue screened once again.

Was what Lord Yue’s? What birth? Shen Qingqiu looked over his shoulder just to make sure one of Fei Fei’s goblins wasn’t loitering about. And they were older children; there was no way someone could give birth to one of those a month or so ago. And that was even ignoring the most vital fact here, that he was a man! Did Liu Qingge never learn anything about basic biology?

Shen Qingqiu shook his head and finally cracked open his fan. Maybe he could buy the man’s silence with informational human anatomy scrolls.

“This one is not certain what First Husband Liu is getting at. But more importantly, why is First Husband even here?” Shen Qingqiu drawled.

“Well if you didn’t give birth, where did those come from then!” Liu Qingge, red faced, gestured at Shen Qingqiu’s chest with his left hand. The right arm was still tucked up tight against his body.

Of course it was that mother fucking hot springs curse again!

Shen Qingqiu felt his own face start to burn. He refused to glance down; he was completely aware what was there. But he was wearing his padded jacket! Binghe had said the whole area wasn’t so noticeable in the jacket. Had he just been pacifying him? Oh, that little shit was going to be doing calligraphy lessons until his damn fingers fell off!

“This one ran afoul of a curse,” Shen Qingqiu explained slowly, fighting the dual urge to start screaming and crying. Of all the people to run into in such a mortifying situation, it had to be Liu fucking Qingge.

The man’s face changed then, and he grunted in pain when he reached out to grab Shen Qingqiu with his injured arm. It was too easy to step out of his limited reach, and Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help worry a bit on his own. That arm was obviously broken. Would the half-assed healer in Binzhen even be able to set it?

“What sort of curse?” Liu Qingge demanded, and not put off by Shen Qingqiu’s evasion, firmly grasped his wrist with his left hand. And of course, the peerless Liu Qingge’s qi felt like warm bath water soothing his entire body.

“It’s nothing major, just a small misunderstanding with a local deity,” Shen Qingqiu said with a few slow blinks. It was impossible to not feel too relaxed and even a little sleepy with that warm qi questing gently through his meridians.

“Come on, we’re going back home,” Liu Qingge demanded and tugged on his arm as if “home” were a street away and they’d simply stroll back there arm and arm.

“What? No, that’s not happening,” Shen Qingqiu tugged back. But of course, even injured, the man’s grip was solid.

“You need a healer,” Liu Qingge said as if his own arm wasn’t uselessly dangling.

“Don’t be hasty, First Husband,” he tried to soothe and gently pull the man towards his estate instead. “The flight from the capital must have been long, and First Husband’s arm is obviously broken. Let’s rest first and talk about it?”

“Hmph,” Liu Qingge replied but allowed himself to be led.

“I shouldn’t be surprised to see you here too,” Liu Qingge grumbled when Binghe opened the estate gate for them. While it wouldn’t save him from the lesson Shen Qingqiu had planned, the boy did properly bow to the First Husband and didn’t offer a word of disagreement.

“Binghe, ask Fei Fei for some tea and snacks. And see if Xiaoming can tidy up the side house for First Husband?” Shen Qingqiu asked as he led Liu Qingge through his courtyard.

“I’ll just stay at the inn,” Liu Qingge complained while taking in the estate with wide eyes.

“There’s no inn in Binzhen, it’s too rural,” Shen Qingqiu reminded him with just a smidgen too much glee. With most the of the repairs done and his gardens in much better order than when he arrived, Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but feel a little house proud.

Ushered into the main house, Liu Qingge sat without complaint. Shen Qingqiu settled in across from him and tried to cut off the flow of questions even the taciturn man must have. “What brings First Husband all the way out to Binzhen?”

“Whose estate is this?”

Shen Qingqiu fiddled with his fan. The man was a stubborn as rocks, even when covered in road dirt and with a broken arm.

“For the time being, it’s this one’s estate” Shen Qingqiu admitted.

Refreshingly, Liu Qingge didn’t accuse him of lying or cheating someone to get it. He merely grumbled across the table.

Binghe entered with tea and several plates of snacks. Shen Qingqiu took the tea from him so he could have something to do with his hands besides flip his fan about. He poured for Liu Qingge first, and the man accepted his cup cautiously with his left hand.

“Binghe, could you also send for the healer? First Husband Liu had a bit of flying accident.”

The man in question coughed into his tea.

“And his arm may be broken.”

“I don’t need a healer. You need a healer!” Liu Qingge argued. Binghe only glared at First Husband Liu for a moment before heading out to fetch Healer Hsiung.

“But what if it’s a bad break? It may need to be set,” Shen Qingqiu said while pushing the persimmon jellies towards his guest. “First Husband Liu is welcomed to use the side house until he’s fully recovered,” he offered graciously.

First Husband Liu ignored the treats entirely. “Why are you here? When are you coming back?” Liu Qingge smashed through Shen Qingqiu's pleasantries and distractions with all the finesse of a bull.

Shen Qingqiu sipped his tea. Liu Qingge tried to fold his arms in a foreboding manner but couldn’t quite pull it off. The persimmon jellies were really an excellent snack with white tea. “Well, it’s complicated,” Shen Qingqiu said. It sounded lame to even his ears.

“This one is taking some time for himself,” Shen Qingqiu offered instead.

“You didn't write. Everyone is worried. Lord Yue thought that demon kidnapped you,” Liu Qingge said.

Wait, what? Why would he write? Who would worry about him? And what bloody demon?

“This one wasn’t aware there had been a demon…attack?”

“Hmm, after Lord Yue left for the palace. About two days after that. Southern tribe demons. There were some broken walls and stuff,” Liu Qingge provided by way of explanation.

Two days? But Shen Qingqiu had left the very next day.

Oh, of course it was that shitty steward. Shen Qingqiu had told Yue Qingyuan again and again that the man couldn’t be trusted. He’d clearly known Shen Qingqiu hadn’t been at the estate, but had let them believe he’d been kidnapped? To cover his own ass for something so slight as what, not checking with Yue Qingyuan when his spouse was traveling to meet him?

Ah, no it wasn’t the action but the manner. Even scummy second husbands didn’t arrive to the imperial palace with one servant and one carriage. The man had let the second husband out without a proper entourage. And then used a much bigger lie to cover his ass.

“This one wasn’t there to see the attack,” Shen Qingqiu said slowly, still trying to piece together what Liu Qingge had revealed. What else was that steward up to? It still seemed like too much of a risk for what would have been a slight punishment. Hell, with the shit Yue Qingyuan let skate, the steward wouldn’t even had been fined.

“You couldn’t have left with Lord Yue,” Liu Qingge said, still ignoring his tea and treats like a lout.

“Not exactly,” Shen Qingqiu agreed. He couldn’t think of a better way to put it, so he just put it out there. Hell, it might work. Sometimes thick-headed First Husband actually demonstrated some sense. “When First Husband Liu’s arm heals and he returns to the Yue estate, he should see about firing Lord Yue’s steward.” There, take it how you will, bro. The geezer was a serpent. A serpent who knew all about their investments, business interests, taxes, and politics, and dirty laundry.

Liu Qingge was silent for a moment. He sipped his tea again and looked down at the cup as if he were actually contemplating Shen Qingqiu’s advice. Way to go, big guy. You’ll be a politicking first spouse one day.

“You fire him,” Liu Qingge finally said.

Thank god Shen Qingqiu had his fan up because his mouth dropped open. Fucking excuse me?

“Such an endeavor would fall to the first spouse,” Shen Qingqiu said calmly, gripping his fan guard too tightly but otherwise not revealing an ounce of ire.

“You’re the one who knows what he did, how he lied,” Liu Qingge said while drumming his fingers on the table.

“This one suspects. But as this one isn’t in any position to make a case against him, First Husband should see to it,” Shen Qingqiu explained calmly.

“You will be in a position to if you come back. Tell Lord Yue that’s what you want.”

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t help but laugh. “First Husband Liu assumes this one has any bargaining power with Lord Yue.”

Liu Qingge looked even more perplexed than usual, but before Shen Qingqiu could break it down for him, Binghe led the healer from the village inside.

The man had claimed to study cultivation, but it was obviously far in his past or a poorly constructed conceit. But what Shen Qingqiu had said was true; it if was a bad break, even with cultivation, it would take time to heal. Best to let a semi-professional look at it.

“How can this humble one assist Master Shen?” the healer bowed preposterously low for a simple house call.

Ah yes, it was the curse again. He was just showing more than the usual respect because Shen Qingqiu had so very demonstrably taken one for the team.

“Thank you for your prompt attention to the matter, Healer Hsiung,” Shen Qingqiu said with a nod towards Liu Qingge.

“Yes, well this healer did wonder how long it would take before Master Shen would seek this one’s assistance,” the man murmured and cast a questioning glance at Liu Qingge. “Will the gongzi also be assisting? The more the merrier, this one always says.”

Oh my fucking god. Shen Qingqiu snapped his fan shut and glared at the healer. The fucking nerve of this greasy horn dog! “This master’s… compatriot injured his arm in a fall. While he is also a cultivator of no small skill, like this master, please check to ensure the break is clean,” Shen Qingqiu enunciated calmly.

The healer thankfully wasn’t as dumb as feared and sensed the danger to his life. Without further propositions, the man checked Liu Qingge’s arm, having him remove his outer robes and paying extra care to the elbow and shoulder.

“Well?” Shen Qingqiu demanded, out of patience for his manhandling of first husband. Gods, he never thought he’d miss Healer Mu’s absolute detachment.

“Begging Master Shen’s pardon, the arm is cleanly broken in two places. This healer recommends the gall from a Bear-faced Boar to assist in the healing process,” the daring git said.

Pander your wares elsewhere, quack. “It’s unnecessary, First Husband Liu is an accomplished cultivator. This master just wanted to make sure it wasn’t serious.”

Liu Qingge looked at him oddly. Shit, it did sound off, didn’t it? Referring to Liu Qingge by title but as the (renter) owner of his own estate, and without the protective shadow of Yue Qingyuan over them. Please understand First Husband, this one wasn’t trying to make it sound like you’re his spouse at all!

“Very well,” the healer signed, obviously put off about missing out on the sale. Unfortunately, the healer rallied and asked, “And what about Master Shen’s treatment? Surely Master Shen doesn’t want to continue on in such a condition when a simple cure is at hand?”

“What cure?” Liu Qingge demanded.

The healer bowed again and started to explain, “The Yunhua hot springs curse. It changed the master, as gongzi can see, but it’s curable with enough treatment, by orally latching on to the cursed region and, like a child, and nursing upon the… ”

“Thank you, Healer Hsiung!” Shen Qingqiu rose to usher him out and waved at Binghe. The boy, bless his heart, pushed some coins into the healer’s hand and succeeded in marching him out the door.

Silence was an awkward companion at the table. Shen Qingqiu sat himself back down and poured Liu Qingge some more tea even though his cup was barely touched.

“First Husband Liu must be tired from the flight and his injury. Allow this master to show you the side house?” Shen Qingqiu offered in an attempt to regain control of the situation.

“The healer said you could cure it,” Liu Qingge said, which was not a response to Shen Qingqiu’s question at all. Ugh.

“Many curses have inconvenient cures. This one is happy to wait for the…extra energy to disperse on its own,” Shen Qingqiu said lightly while begging the man with his eyes to stop talking about his breasts.

“It can’t be comfortable. Why not just do it now?” Liu Qingge stated like it was simple fucking matter of wearing green or gray today. Shall this one paint in the garden? Shall I have an extra cake? Shall I allow the head spouse to suck my magically induced knockers?

“This one can’t fathom how First Husband can speak of it so lightly,” Shen Qingqiu said, finally let some of his exasperation bleed into his voice.

“I’ll do it,” the man offered like he was loaning a book of poetry!

“That won’t be necessary,” Shen Qingqiu fumbled with his fan, his voice quivering a little. Why not just drop it already! “This one wouldn’t dream of imposing upon First Husband for such a bothersome act.”

“I said I’ll do it, and I’ll do it,” the man grumbled and awkwardly scooted closer on his knees.

“First Husband shouldn’t force himself, hey!” Shen Qingqiu squawked when the man grabbed his robes and starting pulling the outer most layers open with one functioning arm.

“Not so rough,” Shen Qingqiu admonished. Liu Qingge slowed down and opened his robes more carefully. He loosened his belt to fully spread the outer robes out of the way, and parted his inner robes to reveal Shen Qingqiu’s affliction.

Shen Qingqiu looked away. He already knew what it looked like, and really, it was fine, nothing wrong with them. But it was beyond strange to see such things jutting from his chest.

Liu Qingge didn’t seem to find it strange. The man gasped softly, and Shen Qingqiu felt his breath on his bare chest.

“Tell me if I’m not doing it right,” Liu Qingge demanded.

But before Shen Qingqiu could assure him it wasn’t really a question a technique, the man latched his mouth onto a nipple and sucked hard.

Shen Qingqiu fell back, knocking his head on the reed mats and Liu Qingge came with him, straddling his legs to keep his lips sealed on the nipple.

It was a lot of pressure, too much for sure. “Too hard!” Shen Qingqiu complained.

Immediately the mouth on his breast softened. The pressure was still there, but it wasn’t like Liu Qingge was trying to suck a melon through a straw anymore. The softer pressure felt warm, and wet, but not stinging. And the man kept moving his tongue, lapping and circling around the nipple like he expected something to really come out.

Shen Qingqiu threw a hand over his mouth. It felt strange but also good. He watched the ceiling, trying to count the little cracks in the plaster that could use some attention instead of the hot mouth gently sucking on his breast. Maybe he could calculate the labor costs to repaint the entire main house? Gods, he couldn’t let himself get hard from Liu Qingge trying to nurse from him! .

He made the mistake of looking down, watching the lovely face far too close, pink mouth parted around his flesh. His brow was furrowed in concentration, the little wrinkle between his eyebrows begging to be smoothed.

Then he opened his beautiful grey eyes and looked up at Shen Qingqiu while diligently sucking his breast. Shen Qingqiu gasped, now fully hard and fighting to not rub himself against the monstrously muscled thigh pushing against his own.

“Maybe shidi can switch to the other one?” Shen Qingqiu gasped. Gods what was wrong with him? Letting this happen, liking it, and then calling the war god protagonist his little martial brother? Could it be any more mortifying?

Liu Qingge pulled off with a wet pop and switched to the to other breast, lathing it with the same eager tongue before diligently sucking on the nipple. Shen Qingqiu threw both hands over his mouth to keep any further embarrassing sounds from escaping.

Suddenly he pulled off again. Shen Qingqiu couldn’t even look down to question him. Could it possibly be over already?

“Sorry, does it hurt?” Liu Qingge asked from atop his chest.

Shen Qingqiu did look down then. The man was blushing like a virgin, but Shen Qingqiu knew he was in no state to judge, his own blush having extended all the way down his significantly smaller chest.

“No Liu shidi, it doesn’t hurt at all,” Shen Qingqiu managed to choke out.

Liu Qingge hummed thoughtfully. “Does it feel good then?” he asked softly, his lips looking even fuller and redder after the workout they’d gotten.

“Yes,” Shen Qingqiu admitted, hands curled into fists at his side.

“Good,” Liu Qingge said before diving back into the task at hand. Shen Qingqiu, unprepared for that hot mouth, gasped when that velvet tongue flicked against his nipple, but released a moan loud enough to echo throughout the room when the soft suckling resumed.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t let awkwardness stop him from being a good host. It was easier to wrap Liu Qingge’s broken arm while making small talk and absolutely no eye contact. And once Liu Qingge was settled into the side house to rest, Shen Qinqqiu threw that padded jacket into the rubbish pile.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

It was a lovely day, the sun softened by the fog still burning off in the morning glow. A walk on the beach would be a great way to take advantage of the perfect weather and a perfect way to escape the looks. Because it seemed everyone had a look this morning.

Upon awakening his master, Binghe looked as if Shen Qingqiu had burned his extensive calligraphy homework while comparing his cooking to the excrement of a foaming slug turtle. Fei Fei with her adorable goblins and delicious, fresh youtiao was all smiles as she brought in breakfast for an extra mouth.

Not that Liu Qingge was just a mouth! He was much more than that, a completely complete person. Nobody was fixating on mouths.

Even Uncle Guo was suspiciously cheerful when he offered his morning greeting. Really, it’s a big estate. Don’t his well-paid servants have anything better to do?

If Shen Qingqiu offered to show Liu Qingge the village later, it was because he was blocking off time for a brooding walk on the beach. It wasn’t an invitation to join him on said walk. At least the man beside him kept blessedly quiet. The birds wheeling and calling above were nearly drowned out by the crashing surf. The collapsing waves murmured as they crept up to try and touch Shen Qingqiu’s and Liu Qingge’s shoes.

Too much quiet was also a thing. Sometimes quiet was just plain overrated.

“How is First Husband’s arm?” Shen Qingqiu asked with an attempted cheerfulness no one could truly feel this early in the morning.

“Fine,” the wordsmith replied.

Shen Qingqiu played with his fan as they walked together. He was just going to say it. It would be bad form to not thank the man for his assistance in such a personal matter. First Husband didn’t have to do it! And really, it has been over rather quickly. It really was more effective to have someone’s help with such a thing. So why were the simple words of thanks lodged in Shen Qingqiu’s throat like a fish bone?

“How’s your…injury?” Liu Qingge asked before Shen Qingqiu could force the words out.

Ah ok, yeah, “injury” sounds better than cursed tits, or malignant milkers; baneful breasts; unwanted udders.

“Fine, just fine,” Shen Qingqiu replied like he was discussing a bruised elbow. “And this one thanks First Husband for his assistance with that matter.” There, it’s done. All professional-like. No need to mention the chaffing.

“It’s fine,” the man parroted back and Shen Qingqiu felt his eyebrows rise. Was Liu Qingge being a smart ass? Turning to look at him, he was surprised to see Liu Qingge already turned towards him, his cheeks stained with a soft blush.

“I didn’t mind it,” Liu Qingge clarified, and Shen Qingqiu had to remind himself it wasn’t appropriate to slap the First Husband with this fan as he often did his young apprentice was getting fresh. Really Liu Qingge, did that require clarification? Some things should not be spoken of, or even better, should be taken to the damn grave.

“Regardless, First Husband’s assisted this one when he was in an uncomfortable position. This one is thankful,” Shen Qingqiu said calmly while he literally screamed and cried inside.

At some point they’d stop walking. How was this a stroll anymore if they were just standing too close to one another on the beach?

“I would do it again,” Liu Qingge said to his face without an ounce of shame.

Shen Qingqiu was thankful for his years of political smooth-talking. Because his mouth literally filled in the silence with the appropriate noises even while his brain was liquefying. “First Husband is diligent, but the curse on the hot springs is now lifted. Such attributes are a thing of the past.”

“I like doing things with you,” he continued, but finally had to duck his head and look at the ocean instead of Shen Qingqiu’s half-concealed face.

“This one also finds First Husband to be fine company,” Shen Qingqiu replied around the howl in his throat. What the fuck was this? A confession on the beach? How had the story been twisted into corkscrews? Go back to your Lord husband you muddled main character!

But maybe he was reading too much into this? Why would Liu Qingge be into him of all people? But Liu Qingge was from a big family, a bustling estate. And with only his apprentices to entertain him…was Liu Qingge just lonely in the Yue Estate? That made much more sense.

Shen Qingqiu had been worried about this before. While Lord Yue had been neglectful with his low-born second husband for years, it seemed habits died hard and the man hadn’t properly learned how to show regard to his new spouse either. No one would raise a fuss over Shen Qingqiu’s isolation. He, unlike some pampered little prince, was perfectly capable of entertaining himself. But Liu Qingge? Lord Yue could have the whole damn family howling at his gates if they thought their precious son was being mistreated.

What was that man thinking? Why compromise the advantages the marriage had gained him? It wasn’t like Liu Qingge was bothersome company.

And if Shen Qingqiu was being honest with himself, it wasn’t entirely one-sided. Liu Qingge’s arrival had been the most interesting thing to happen in Binzhen that didn’t involve curses. Having the man around could be pleasant. But mostly because Shen Qingqiu was hiding in the back woods and there weren’t many choices for entertainment. It wasn’t like he could attend an opera or a poetry recital out here.

Being around Liu Qingge at the estate had usually just been stressful; there were too many variables and too many concerns. Who would think he had ulterior motives if he invited the man to lunch? Even when they worked together, there was always the underlying fear the mistakes would be the second husband’s domain and all praise the first husband’s due. And gods above help him if anything happened to the First Husband. Even a stubbed toe on First Husband’s perfect foot could have been one of the second husband's dastardly plots.

But out here in the boonies, who cared if Shen Qingqiu raised his voice in exasperation, or if Liu Qingge walked too closely to be proper? Or energetically sucked on his cursed chest?

Regardless of how much more interesting things could be with First Husband around, they shouldn’t stay out here all morning.

“Can I stay here with you?” Liu Qingge asked while still looking at the waves and kicking at the sand like a child.

Interesting? The man was a menace.

Shen Qingqiu managed to not choke on his own spit. “One missing, low-born husband is easily brushed aside. A missing Liu clan spouse, however, would not be tolerated by Lord Yue or the court.” Shen Qingqiu tried to stay calm while praying the man would see reason. He did, technically, have space in the side house. But really, what would Liu Qingge even do in Binzhen?

“Can you just speak plainly?” Liu Qingge demanded, turning back from the waters to glare at Shen Qingqiu. The effectiveness of the glare was diminished since his whole face was covered in a fetching blush.

Shen Qingqiu tried to remember the man was almost a decade younger than him and considerably more sheltered. “It’s not possible for First Husband to stay in Binzhen. Lord Yue would never rest until he finds his spouse.” The narrowed eyes and stubborn purse of his lips had Shen Qingqiu adding, “First Husband is welcomed to visit, occasionally, but only if he keeps this one’s location to himself!”

Ah maybe this could work out. Liu Qingge wanted company; Shen Qingqiu wanted a secret kept.

“That is the deal this one offers,” Shen Qingqiu smiled around his words while watching Liu Qingge carefully.

That stubborn look didn’t diminish, and the brute folded his arms like he’d caught Shen Qingqiu in the act. Really, you wanted to run away too a second ago, why be difficult?

“My family knows I miss traveling. I’ll let them know I am on a night hunt,” Liu Qingge said.

Huh, well, lonesome and full of wanderlust. “And Lord Yue?” Shen Qingqiu asked.

“We can write him and say we are on the hunt, together, so he won’t worry,” Liu Qingge offered his compromise like it was perfectly reasonablw thing and the glint in his eye dared Shen Qingqiu to contradict this notion.

Shen Qingqiu couldn’t hold in his ire, “Absolutely not! I didn’t spend all this time and effort to just go back after a night hunt or two.”

“Or three, four, or a dozen. Whenever you’re ready,” Liu Qingge replied calmly in the face of his outburst.

“I don’t want to go back ever!” Shen Qingqiu’s shout echoed on the beach.

Liu Qingge stood still as stone, only his widening eyes betraying any shock at the declaration.

Shit, well, hopefully with the waves it didn’t actually echo too far. The last thing they needed was an audience for their little beach drama.

“Why?” the man asked tonelessly, as if inquiring after the weather and not his co-spouse’s desertion.

“Does First Husband lack eyes?” Shen Qingqiu scoffed. How could this man not see it? Shen Qingqiu was old news. There was no life for him at the Yue estate.

“I knew you were unhappy, but I thought it was getting better. We fixed the kitchen together,” Liu Qingge reminded him and dared to sound hopeful.

“I did not marry Lord Yue for a staffed kitchen, or a courtyard of my own, or silks and jewelry, or even nice paints. This one married Lord Yue because I loved him.” Shen Qingqiu confessed miserably. It felt like he’d lost control of the conversation. How had Liu Qingge of all people gotten him riled?

“But now?” Liu Qingge prompted.

“Now he doesn’t,” Shen Qingqiu said simply. And I don’t fucking love him either, Shen Qingqiu lied vindictively to himself.

The man’s stony demeanor was finally cracked. “Of course he does! Are you still mad about the qi deviation? Just kick him back!”

Shen Qingqiu sudden laugh was hoarse and strange, but he regained himself in a moment and waved his fan at the wild allegation as if to send it away on the wind.

Kick him back? Of course, the brute would think that was a solution. If only spousal abuse and absolute betrayal were as simple as a spar. Shen Qingqiu cleared his throat, trying to regain his control.

“Yes, well, Binhzen might be good training then. For when this one is sent to live in the seclusion courtyard forever,” he finally offered, trying to make light of the absolute bullshit First Husband was spouting. Anything to get away from this topic.

“What?”

Shen Qingqiu gritted his teeth. “If I kicked Lord Yue back, this one would never set foot outside the seclusion courtyard.” Hell, it might actually be a way to get a genuine divorce. But then again, maybe not. Qi-ge had always been overly tolerant of his scratching, biting, and kicking, whether such actions were in jest or not.

Liu Qingge humphed. “He’d be shocked, but he’d know he deserved it.” After a pause, he added, “And he does, you know.”

“Deserve to be kicked? Yes, this one is aware.” Shen Qingqiu took a few steps, trying to encourage the man to follow him. Perhaps walking would deter any more overly serious conversation topics.

Liu Qingge didn’t move a step, but his brow scrunched up. “Lord Yue does love you. He talks about you all the time.”

Shen Qingqiu laughed again, loudly even from behind his fan. What the fuck was this nightmare? Why would Liu Qingge even say that? Why come all the way out here to rip open old wounds? Was Qi-ge really so artless as to compare one spouse to another in his First Husband’s presence? How the hell could two morons like this even run an estate?

Shen Qingqiu spilled his words in between another bitter laugh, “This former second husband is so flattered to hear that Lord Yue speaks of this one’s accomplishments. Did he tell you about the time I saved him from Lord Wen’s poisoning, only to later be accused of being the poisoner myself? Or the time Lord Jin propositioned me no less than half a dozen times during the emperor’s garden party, and then tried to have me drowned the same night when my so-called husband was distracted by a certain son of the Liu clan?”

“No,” Liu Qingge said. Even the shocked look on the man’s face didn’t slow Shen Qingqiu down

“Or when I got Lord Yue his first court assignment, only to then be called overbearing and shunned for months when his cohorts called him henpecked.” That was probably the first time. The small betrayal that started the landslide that pulled Yue Qingyuan further and further away until they were mountains and valleys apart.

“Don’t cry,” Liu Qingge said softly. When Shen Qingqiu hadn’t been paying attention, that man had stepped closer to him and was now obnoxiously pressing a handkerchief at him.

“I am not crying,” Shen Qingqiu hissed. Through the tears, he could see the lace border and the Liu clan’s embroidered crest. Even the man’s snot rags were highborn.

“They’re all over,” Liu Qingge retorted, and started patting up his tears. It was an action born more from exasperation than pity based off the unnecessary force used.

Shen Qingqiu swiped the handkerchief away from him and wiped at his eyes much more delicately. “Useless,” he grumbled from behind both the Liu clan lace and his own fan.

Liu Qingge grumbled but didn’t actually respond. He also didn’t have the decency to turn away and pretend to be admiring the seaside view as Shen Qingqiu dried his face.

Shen Qingqiu took a few even breaths. He was so done with this drama fest. While he wasn’t happy at being caught off guard and demonstrating his emotional attachments so blatantly. Liu Qingge had also been loose with his words. “Well, that’s settled,” Shen Qingqiu claimed as he stuffed the handkerchief away in his sleeves.

“What’s settled? Are you coming back?” Again, that voice was overly hopeful. Please temper your expectations, First Husband!

“Oh no, of course not. But if Liu Qingge enjoys this second husband’s company as he says,” Shen Qingqiu said with a flick of his fan.

“I do,” Liu Qingge confirmed.

“Then First Husband will keep the secret of this one’s whereabouts to himself. Otherwise, I’ll simply move again.” And you will be alone again, little lonely princeling.

“You’d just leave?” the man said, though he has no right to sound so betrayed at the notion.

“Indeed, this one didn’t plan to stay put forever anyway,” Shen Qingqiu confessed while looping his arm through Liu Qingge’s. The man stumbled and awkwardly tried to pull away, and Shen Qingqiu just held tighter and pulled him a few steps down the beach.

“Did First Husband want to visit the famous Binzhen hot springs before he heads back to the capital?” Shen Qingqiu asked as they walked side by side along the white beach. Liu Qingge sputtered but let himself be led along by the firm hold.

The hot springs were nothing special now that the curse had been lifted. Still, the soak did help with his arm and other things. And Shen Qingqiu had enjoyed them. He would have thought the man would have been shyer about climbing in after what happened. But Shen Qingqiu clearly had been happy to soak late into the night, enjoying the quiet and the free drinks the inn provided him for his recent services to the town. It would have been fine by Liu Qingge too, who didn’t like the drinks but liked seeing the man relaxed and smiling. Except that apprentice of his was always staring at Liu Qingge like he was a slug in the rose garden.

After another day of Shen Qingqiu’s irritating but endearing company, Liu Qingge knew he needed to get back unless he wanted to risk Second Husband’s ire. He fully believed the threat that Shen Qingqiu would disappear again if he so much as breathed a word about any of it.

Landing at the Yue estate was like walking into another world. Everyone bowed and greeted the return of the first spouse, but it felt empty. Even after months of marriage, Liu Qingge didn’t really feel like he belonged here. And these people didn’t really know him, just his status as First Husband.

He entered his Lord Husband’s office without much thought. While he knew it wasn’t entirely proper, and he should wait to be announced, he knew the man wouldn’t actually be bothered by it. The huffs of the steward’s assistant were more annoying, but Liu Qingge was more than practiced at ignoring the man.

“Did Qingge find anything?” Yue Qingyuan asked without looking up from his desk.

Liu Qingge took in the man; hunched over the desk, the dark bags under his eyes just visible from this angle. The hand holding his quill was gripping it far too tightly as he wrote another letter trying to gain entry into a demon court.

Shen Qingqiu’s words and the steward’s lies clashed in his thoughts. “Rumors, some tracks that were too small to be a Black Moon Rhinoceros-Python. Nothing else.”

Yue Qingqiu’s brow furrowed in confusion as he looked up from the paperwork. “Anything about A-Jiu?” he clarified.

“No,” Liu Qingge lied even though it burned in his throat like poison. That man’s cheerful, hopeful face was fastened under his eyelids. He had seemed almost like a different person there, without the cares of the estate weighing him down.

Without the reminder of Lord Yue and First Husband Liu’s existence weighing him down.

“Did Lord Yue discover anything in Sha Hualing’s cousin’s court?” Liu Qingge asked after a beat despite already knowing the answer. After all, how could there be any sign of Lord Yue’s second husband in a demon’s court when the man was busily playing house on the beach? He turned to look out the window of his Lord Husband’s office, knowing he needed all the help he could get to hide his guilty face.

Lord Yue looked up again at the formal address. He looked haggard and Liu Qingge pushed down the waves of guilt that threatened to drown him.

“No, just like the first one. They take the opportunity presented to fight but back down quickly and then beg for leniency and claim they didn’t take any hostages and they’ve never seen him,” Yue Qingyuan said tonelessly.

Liu Qingge perked up. “How many did Qi-ge fight?” The nickname felt ashen in his mouth. He hadn’t known that name had solely belonged to someone else before he’d married into Lord Yue’s household. And now he should really know better.

Lord Yue sighed and began recounting the event. “The cousin Sha Lian and her retainers. Sha Lian’s husband and his retainers. A captain of the guard and some of her men. Two of the concubines tried to ambush us. Even this tusked gardener jumped in. It was a circus.”

Considering they were all demons of impressive skill, that was a lot. Liu Qingge frowned. “Were there injuries?”

“Healer Mu has already come and gone. Apprentice Zhen will need a few weeks for his broken legs to mend,” Lord Yue said, his face already turned back towards his paperwork.

Liu Qingge hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t know what else to say. He wanted more details about the fight, but as preoccupied as the man was, would he even notice if Liu Qingge disappeared too? Or climbed right out the window?

“I’ll retire now,” he settled on, and turned to flee.

“Goodnight, Qingge,” Yue Qingyuan bid him farewell with his face still in his correspondence.

Liu Qingge made sure to glare at the steward outside of Lord Yue’s office before retreating to his own courtyard.