Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1.

Earthworms

"What a pity that Kerberos couldn't come with us, he'd love to run around, but Hades is holding him back quite a bit now," Charon leaned on his paddle, which was half submerged in the water. As soon as he secured the boat to the shore, he bent over until his bones crunched and picked up a leather purse from the bottom of the boat, loosened the strings and began to rummage through the coins with his bony fingers. Some shone as if they had just been dropped in, while others were old, worn and even stained with blood. He tested the purity of the ones he wasn't sure about between his teeth, but there was also a button or a piece of chain mail that a soldier from Troy had recently tried to bribe him with. "That must be because he slipped into Tartarus last week, but you know how furious Hades was," sighed Megara with effort, who was digging with a shovel into the beautifully green grass on the bank of the Asphodel Fields. For the fiftieth time, she bent gracefully and gingerly pulled a writhing earthworm from the pile of clay. She already had about half of the smaller amphorae, but the task was clear, it had to be full of the swarming creatures.

“He’s a good dog, if a bit unfriendly to souls, he just needs a toy.”

“Or a flock of chickens,” Meg grinned and dug another hole in the loose earth. Before long, it looked like a mole was rampaging here, but what was she going to do, this was the closest place to find something like that. The journey to the mortal realm had taken almost an hour to the surface, this was just a moment through the Styx with Charon’s help. It wasn’t cheating, just saving time, and Hades hadn’t mentioned exactly where to get his delicacy.

She cringed inwardly at the thought of eating something like earthworms. She would rather stay hungry.

“It’s a shame I’m so busy I can’t take it out,” the skeleton complained, pulling out a large, heavy coin. “Egyptian? I forgot about this one, the tribute to Anubis will have one less business. It’s really nice,” he muttered to himself appreciatively.

“You’re a ferryman, Charon, you never have time, you transport the dead, people don’t take a break just because you’re going to play with Cerberus,” Megara’s lips twitched. The old skeleton always knew how to make her laugh.

“I could ask Hades for a vacation,” he objected, but they both knew that such a thing wouldn’t happen as long as Hades was still the lord of the underworld, he relied on the functioning of his empire, just like every other god on his agenda. Everything down here had to work out.

“I am old and my bones ache, I would visit a spa somewhere on the sunny side of Olympus and here my shoulder blades would be waxed until they shine. It is a shame, I have to wear a cloak and a hood so as not to frighten the passengers.”

Meg held on to the wooden handle and could not help but laugh. Her ringing soprano filled the immediate surroundings like the singing of cherubs.

“I think those you are transporting are counting on it, it is wise to fear death when you still have a trial to face.”

“Then do you know that gamblers end up in Tartarus,” the skeleton asked, looking at her with his empty sockets.

“And since when? Just because you play a few dice games in the marketplace in Thebes doesn’t mean you deserve eternal torture for it,” she wondered, allowing herself to rest and breathe for a moment.

"This rule is about a month old, our ruler had a falling out with a gambler who was robbing people on the streets of Athens. They made a deal, but the scoundrel took the liberty of flattering Hades because Tyche herself wished him luck, she's not the only one who doesn't need my master, she probably wanted to get a little revenge on him for ruining his business. The guy won over the lord of the underworld, imagine that, Meg. Hades must have given him a nice villa on a hill and a room full of gold coins. When he finally saw through the whole scam, he promised him that once he got here, his fate would be sealed, guess where. Since then, every gambler goes straight to Tartarus, without exception. New rule."

"That's not very fair, the man won by right, if the goddess blessed him, but on the other hand, it sounds like a vengeful Hades. The longer I'm here, the more I discover the flattering sides of his personality," she muttered ironically and waved her hand.

"If I were you, dear, I would be careful, you don't know who can hear you," Charon looked behind her back, the outlines of the figures that inhabited the Asphodel Field were visible in the distance, "anyone here can be an informer to get some kind of advantage."

"I know about that," Megara sighed and started digging again, picking up worms that she threw into the prepared container painted with Greek motifs.

Before long, her amphora was almost full, so she grabbed a shovel, threw it into the boat, and soon took the vase.

"It's about time, these little breaks with you make eternity more pleasant for me and warm my heart, figuratively speaking, but duties are duties, I'm sure there are already a lot of souls waiting for me at the entrance," the bony knuckles pressed against his ribs before he gentlemanly offered them to her. Even though he was a skeleton, he had good manners, and Megara appreciated that.

The woman allowed herself to be helped onto the boat and sat on the rung on the other side.

Charon pushed himself away from the shore with an oar, and Megara let herself be carried by the current towards the great black palace in the shape of a skull in the distance, which was lined with black rocks and cliffs. The center of the underworld was as depressing and inaccessible as something from a nightmare. There wasn't much light, everything seemed uninhabitable and cold. She didn't want to be here a minute less, but she had to because of her pact with Hades.

Meg set the amphora down and leaned it against the side of the boat to keep the contents from spilling, wrapping her arms around herself and rubbing her arms from the shoulders down, as if trying to get rid of the strange melancholy that was everywhere here.

This place was gloomy. She leaned slightly and looked into the river, which gave off a pale blue ethereal light. Souls floated around them, young, old, rich and poor, happy, unhappy, here everyone was equal. It would never cease to scare her, but over the months she had gotten used to it and learned certain rules, such as not shaking hands with any soul who might pull her into the current. The River Styx maintained a firm balance and everything here had its own meaning, only the "important gentleman" occasionally changed various laws depending on his mood.

Meg wondered what she would do with such power as he had, would it be liberating? Not having to starve and rely on the charity of someone to lay her head down for the night? She could live in luxury, not have to worry about anything but enjoying herself. To be free…

Freedom.

Right now, she had an invisible collar around her neck, a collar she didn’t deserve, a collar that reminded her of the betrayal that had broken her heart a little more than before, but this time she had gone too far and paid for it. It had to happen someday.

Megara frowned at her pretty reflection in the river, beauty was a curse, indeed. She repeated the words she had thought about before she fell asleep. Never trust men. Never give your love to someone who didn’t deserve it.

She pressed her lips together bitterly and straightened up, instead of staring at the river she preferred to look at the corridor they were crossing, there in the distance, she could see the red lava winding its way through the mountains of Tartarus, the place of damnation…

“What are you thinking about, Meg?” Charon asked her, who, even though he had no eyes, was an all-too-perceptive observer.

“I wonder if I’ll end up there one day. I think so, because the errands I have to run for our benefactor are mostly nothing heroic with good karma.”

“We all have a purpose, don’t doubt it, if it was your destiny to serve him, believe me, it was that way from the moment you were born. Take me for example, I am not a living being, but my task is very important, but when you have served your time, you can be free and do whatever you want, I cannot.”

Megara smiled faintly, but it was not a smile that reached her eyes, “it sounds too good, but I have to serve him for two whole years, that’s a lot of chances for something to go wrong…”

“I know you can handle anything he throws at you, you are a smart and brave woman, but look, you just promoted him to being his worm collector, it is not a dangerous profession,” Charon laughed, his teeth clicking together as his lower jaw moved up and down.

“Worm-collector, that sounds good, still better than trying to persuade a hydra or a cyclops to join Hades’ side,” she remembered the uneasy truce, when she expected one of the heads to simply eat her at any second. It still made her heart pound.

“The reason I do what I do is because his majesty is bored. I’m afraid of what he’ll think of next. His plans are like dynamite, they usually go off and those closest to him are the ones who get the most,” she rolled her beautiful lilac eyes and rested her elbows on her knees, while resting her chin in her hands.

“I don’t like the underworld, it’s so gloomy…”

“You’ll get used to it, Meg, it just takes time,” Charon comforted her, “I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you get some sun and air soon. And here we are, the black palace, getting out.”

Megara hoped it would take forever, but time was still passing just as quickly.

She had barely sat down when she had to get up again.

The barge jolted slightly as it hit the stone pier paved with shiny dark stones.

“Thanks for the ride, Charon, I’ll see you later,” she gave him her sweet smile, which she had to force herself into, as her mood stagnated every day, but it seemed the skeleton was grateful for any sign of sympathy. He handed her the amphora of earthworms and raised his hand to wave at her before dipping his paddle into the water and pushing himself away from the shore. “I’ll leave the shovel here just in case!” he called out later.

Meg watched him until he was out of sight, then she turned and began climbing the spiral staircase lined with massive metal brackets and blue fire…

Comments

So one more new story, I just love Disney villains and I think Hades has always been my favorite. Do you feel the same way? I also have a weakness for Jaffar or Claude Frollo, but those are completely different stories.

The world of ancient Greece is huge and full of monsters from myths and legends. Hades has only one plan since he was given the status of the god of death, which is to take over Olympus and destroy his brother Zeus with the help of his followers. Unfortunately, neither in the series nor in the movie did we see many possibilities, as it was when the beautiful Megara served him, well, here you have the opportunity to experience for yourself how it all went, why she pledged herself to him for a service that she hates and how it actually started with Hercules.

Unfortunately, I will probably disappoint some of you, but Meg will not choose our golden muscleman in this story, because the fates have prepared a completely different fate for her, which will confuse not only Hades, but also turn the underworld upside down.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2.

Catastrophe Part 1.

Every step of the sandals was unpleasantly loud, like a slap on a centaur's ass.

The stairs were too long for her taste, it was hard to say whether Hades had intended them to imitate the journey to Olympus. She had never actually counted on the stone stairs, but with an amphora full of worms, the whole load made a good noise. This was not like handing out smiles to new servants to join his ranks, not that he hadn't tried this propaganda that ended with her handing out leaflets to newcomers.

She could still remember the text praising the underworld by heart.

Megara's seductive winks and swaying hips might have forced many to take a step forward, but when they found out who was really behind everything, they all scattered like a swarm of locusts. No one wanted anything to do with the lord of all the dead, for good reason.

Indeed, the underworld was not very lively, she somehow understood that the lord of this remote piece of the world wanted to surround himself with someone who was not transparent and who had a pulse. One does not talk much with souls unless one wants to listen to their painful history over and over again for hours.

Meg trudged upstairs, where she went straight to the throne room. This spacious room had always seemed cold and strangely austere, or rather, intimidating, that was the right word.

In the middle stood a round table that depicted a map of Greece. Stone figures of monsters were scattered in various positions as if they were strategic places.

On one side of the round room stood a gray marble throne that was empty.

Most often, she found Hades right here in the very heart of the palace, where he thought about his next steps and hatched villainous plans against the other gods.

But now she didn't smell the smoke that was an integral part of his presence.

What if she placed the amphora on his throne? The idea of ​​him sitting on it made the right corner of her mouth sneer.

She had already turned in that direction when she heard a noise in the corridor. Not that Meg was that curious, but she had been really bored these past few days, having no work to do up there or down here.

The woman's steps changed direction to the opposite passage decorated with a dark purple curtain. This corridor went on forever behind him and was lined with doors to rooms and rooms. The ceiling was arched and supported by statues of skeletons with terrifying expressions, as if they were trying to hold up the entire underworld with their weak hands and were running out of strength.

The noise was coming from somewhere behind. As Meg paused, straining her ears to hear what the voices were saying, she realized that while she couldn’t understand the exact words, the intonation was close to arguing.

Perhaps it would be better to stay out of it and wait in the main hall until the lord of all the dead had calmed down. She would have turned around, but a wisp of smoke swirled around her head.

Thick, dark smoke swirled through the air and formed into an abnormally large hand, the fingers moving as if they were aware of their existence and immediately pointing her in the right direction.

“No, thanks, I don’t think I need to be around everything,” she said, holding the amphora to her chest with one hand and blowing the smoke away with the other.

But she hadn't counted on her new master being more cunning than she was, so tendrils of smoke surrounded her and something slapped her hard on the backside, pushing her forward uncompromisingly.

"Ouch! That's rude behavior," Megara frowned.

Somewhere back from the corner of the corridor, a very familiar figure leaned out with a shark-like smile, which was now more like an inverted version.

"So, honey, where are you? The meeting is about to start, and I don't want the second most important member of my team missing, so let's speed it up a bit," Hades snapped his fingers imperiously, and at that moment two hands created from practically nothing grabbed her arms under her shoulders, lifted her up so she didn't even touch the floor, and carried her down the corridor as if she were a prisoner.

There was no point in protesting, so she sighed and put on a -–really?- expression.

When Meg’s supernatural power finally let go, it was in the room that his wickedness claimed was where he held meetings with the other gods. But she had never seen any other gods down here, so that had to be a lie. Hades liked to make up, exaggerate, and exaggerate so as not to look like a wretch.

“Very well, very well, so we’re complete and uh… what do we have here?” a tall figure in a black chiton floated toward her on a storm cloud. “Refreshments?” he leaned toward her, his yellow eyes squinting into the neck of the amphora at the contents.

“Don’t act surprised, you sent me for this,” Megara pursed her lips.

“Oh, right, of course,” the lord of the dead rubbed his temples as if remembering.

“Don’t tell me that the gods forget?” Meg raised her right eyebrow in irony.

“Who told you that? I absolutely deny it, only mortals forget, the gods don’t suffer from something so ungodly,” Hades crossed his arms in an X and cut the air sharply.

Megara looked significantly at the two demons who were preparing something around the long table.

“We’re innocent in this, boss,” Pain was the first to notice the silence.

“Yeah, we just kind of mentioned that Hyponos once slipped you the water of oblivion when you were having that evening party by the pond,” Confusion added.

“Maybe it still has some consequences,” Megara added in a teasing tone and shrugged.

Hades clenched his hands into fists and for a moment flared up so that the room was illuminated by a yellow flame, as if the sun was hidden there with them. "How many times have I told you not to bring this story to light?"

"Ehhh... about... seven times... maybe?" guessed the pink imp.

"We apologize for your wickedness," Confusion immediately fell to his knees and Pain followed him as they bowed humbly, unfortunately even that didn't help, as their benefactor hurled a fireball at them.

"One more time and I'll wash you in the pool of oblivion from head to toe, that would be enough to shrink your brain to the size of a pea," Hades breathed through his nose and at that moment he cooled down, his mood swings were famous to everyone in the underworld, Meg found it still confusing and she was getting used to it.

As soon as he turned to face the woman, his skin was back to that sickly gray color.

"And to you, hmm... didn't I say the amphora was supposed to be full?" that's for forgetting.

"It's almost full," Megara objected.

"It's not nearly enough, you should learn consistency, dear, that's what I demand of all my servants."

“Like Hypnos?” Meg suggested innocently. She didn’t know the henchman in question, but according to the story, he probably wasn’t the brightest match in the box.

This time it was Meg who angered him, luckily only the hair on Hades’ head that was blazing red.

“There were a few unfortunate cases, but let’s say Hypnos served a higher purpose,” this time he showed Megara his dangerous smile, making her stomach twist into a knot. This one didn’t make her feel good at all. Hades’s famous smile was never a good sign, it was usually an indicator of pain and torture.

“That’s right, our master gave him to Echidna, the mother of monsters, as a birthday present as the main course,” laughed Confusion.

Megara swallowed hard, what worse fate could she imagine than being eaten by a monster, to then sit in its stomach. This was how the lord of the underworld treated those who disobeyed his orders, and that was just one example. If this was how he treated his servants who did something he wasn't happy with, how did he treat his enemies?

She had seen a few examples, and although, to his regret, he didn't always win and get what he wanted, he at least caused great, sometimes irreversible damage. Hades was simply a walking disaster that could explode at any time and burn everything in reach, literally.

Megara was silent, her eyes glittering with thoughts of how the poor fool had to end and that was enough for the lord of all evil to be satisfied, he reached out, grabbed the amphora from her hands without a word of thanks, and turned around the table to his seat of honor at the head.

"It's been kind of dead here lately, and I don't mean VERY dead, and something has to be done about it, if you know what I mean. The statistics for the underworld aren't exactly above the top rungs. The results are the worst in two years,” he pointed with two raised fingers. His delivery was casual, as if he didn’t care, but inside he was surely biting like fleas.

“We’re listening to you, oh my god,” Pain nodded, his fat pink body crouching under the table and hugging one stone leg.

“Nothing will help increase the turnover of our department more than war or some insidious disease, but right now there’s not much war going on anywhere… what a disappointment, Ares should try harder, by the way. He’s the god of war and he lets people live in peace,” he rolled his eyes with this little slur that he couldn’t forgive himself for.

Did Megara notice that Hades would want war? Yes, war was one way to get a large crowd of dead people, or rather souls, to be precise, but as she soon understood, this wasn’t about starting a skirmish between two cities.

“So?” Meg asked cautiously, shifting nervously from foot to foot.

“So here, Pain and Confusion have had plenty of time to do their homework, haven’t they, boys?”

The green imp grinned and nodded quickly, but she had no idea.

“So, come on, get it, you’ve got it already? You’ve been inventing this new disease for over a month,” Hades urged his two minions, impatiently drumming his fingers on the tabletop. Two monstrous heads appeared from the opposite side, one with a long nose and the other with a short one.

“Come on, show off, hurry up. I’M WAITING!”

A heavy, stuffy air of anticipation filled the room.

Pain climbed onto the table, his small but fatty body undulating, showing everyone his back and ass, saying, "How about the worst rash in the world?"

The devil began to scratch at the yellow pimples and blisters with his claws.

Hades pursed his lips, indicating disinterest. "Oh, my God, really? Come here, I'll scratch you," he feigned dramatic regret, a fireball forming in his open palm, the equivalent of a rotten apple thrown at bad actors.

“That… that’s not necessary, I have ointment for that,” the imp muttered, backing away and jumping down onto a chair.

Megara chuckled softly at the failed attempt.

“Enough talk, enough fun, okay? Here’s the disease, don’t delay!” the lord of the underworld pressed his palm to the tabletop, the fireball disappeared with a hiss, as if he had poured water on it. The finger on his other hand was still drumming impatiently. “This is the last warning,” he added.

The light in the room suddenly dimmed and yellow flames appeared around the table, as if they were spotlights.

“For enthusiasts who always crave the latest models of diseases, we have prepared a special spring collection,” came the voice of Confusion from the loudspeaker that echoed through the room. The demon read from the cards in his hand what he had written in advance as the host of an entertainment show.

Hades still looked bored, but his hand reached out and pulled an earthworm from the amphora, which he put into his mouth with relish, as if it were popcorn and he was waiting for a movie about which he didn't have a good opinion.

Megara was suddenly overcome by a strange feeling and in the next blink, she was already standing at the end of the table, as if it were a catwalk at a parade. A cone of light shone on her from above and all eyes were fixed in that direction.

"Wait, I didn't agree to that," she objected quickly. She definitely didn't want to play the main role in this comedy.

"Shut up and play, otherwise they'll fry us on the coals," Pain hissed at her softly.

"They'll fry you, not me, I have nothing to do with it," she frowned over Megara's shoulder.

"But you're standing in the way," Pain explained, and at that moment she realized it. If he wanted to burn them, the first burst of fire would go through her. She took a deep breath and swallowed her nervousness. She conjured a fake smile on her face, placed her hands on her seductively rounded hips and waited for instructions.

“You’ll pay for this, you two little skunks,” she hissed back venomously, still smiling, but then Confusion’s voice as the usher came on again.

“See our model? Isn’t she beautiful? You can be like that too, if you catch the Šmejdus, complete with a smell that attracts groundhogs, those little annoying smurfs that people hate so much.”

Megara had no idea how to react when the little furry beasts appeared all around her, starting to climb the table towards her with absolute adoration in their eyes.

Meg screamed and thrashed at them, “Ugh, rodents, let me go!” she started stomping and luckily she managed to chase the groundhogs away, but she couldn’t run away herself. As soon as she opened her mouth to begin to flatter the two idiots, no voice came out of her throat, but the bubbles seemed to be in water and drowning. She was gasping for air like a fish in the sea.

"Hmm..." Hades commented, the corners of his lips drooping even lower.

"And who likes bubbles? We like bubbles! And that's why..."

"ENOUGH!" the lord of the dead became as hot as lava, "enough, that's enough, you amateurs! I wanted a fatal disease, and what did I get? Fashionable ruins. My famous patience is at an end, boys. Don't you have a little imagination?" he rose from his chair and walked around the table towards his minions, where he leaned his palms on the marble top and leaned menacingly over Pain and Confusion, while Meg was still gasping for breath and trying to recover from the taste of soap on her tongue.

"Please, boss, we saved the best for last," the imps trembled with fear.

The Lord of the Underworld closed his eyes in disbelief, but instead of burning everything around him to dust, he straightened up to his full respectable height, "last chance, and cut it short," he said definitively with a warning finger raised and returned to his place.

Both henchmen visibly breathed a sigh of relief, but the same did not apply to Megara, who was already humiliated enough.

"I'm done, don't you dare..." she threw her hands up angrily, but Confusion instantly sprayed her with some substance as if she were just a guinea pig.

Immediately after that, pimples appeared on Meg's hands and neck, which looked absolutely disgusting, large, painful and itchy. The idea that she had them on her face made her want to faint. She knew it was just an illusion that the little rascals were using, but it was still so real and terrifying.

"First you'll get a fever and ulcers," began Confusion.

"And a nice, purulent one," added Pain excitedly, to spice things up.

“And before long, the victims will be looking for new housing.”

“Underground!”

“It’s called Catastrophe!”

“Catastrophe, huh?” growled Hades, who wasn’t very convinced by the whole show and added his murderous looks at poor Megara, who resisted the furious scratching.

“He came up with that,” Confusion pointed at his colleague, “I wanted to call her Hadescovidus.”

“That’s good and it’s an idea. Get to work, boys, let it fly,” as if something had switched in the lord of the underworld and told him that this was probably the best idea that could be created in those two little heads and he applauded.

“Spread it to the most distant corners of the earth,” he got up and started to leave, quite satisfied with the development of the situation.

“And where should we put the medicine?” Pain pulled a bush with red berries from under the table.

"A cure?" Hades paused and looked over his shoulder, because at this point something didn't sit right with him. His, yes, he considered the disease to be his creation, it shouldn't have any cure, because that didn't fit with his plan.

"Yeah, Zeus ordered that there must be a cure for every disease," stammered Confusion, when Pain cowardly hid behind him.

The Lord of the Dead burst out of the shadows like death itself and grabbed his minions by the neck, each in one hand and squeezed nicely, "you're JOKING, what good is a disease that can be cured to me?"

"But... but Zeus didn't say that the cure had to be available..." wheezed the smarter Confusion, as the lord's fingers squeezed his windpipe.

"Okay," Hades threw them to the ground. "Interesting, then dump it somewhere in the Valley of Fear, no one will dare there, the letter of the law will be followed, an epidemic will come and everyone will be happy, so me, I will be happy, the others will writhe in pain, great. Remember, the disease has to get everywhere on the mainland and the islands in order to continue spreading. The cure will be where Apollo can't reach, literally, okay?" he gestured with his hands before grabbing them both again.

"Sure, boss!"

"Now get out of my sight," he dropped them like trash on the ground, where they began to roll, "yeah, and one more little thing." The God of Death swam to a bush and collected a few red balls in his palm.

"Now get out!" he sent a volley of fiery rain in their tracks.

Only when he was left alone did he turn to the girl, who was currently gripped by a fever and fell exhausted to her knees. She was breathing heavily, trying to grasp reality and understand what was happening to her.

“Why won’t it go away?” she moaned desperately, stopping her fingers at the last moment so they wouldn’t start scratching her neck, making it worse.

“Meg, my dear, it seems those incompetent do-gooders really infected you,” Hades feigned regret and said it with a tenderness she had probably never seen from him.

“Will I die?” she looked up at him with her lilac eyes full of suffering and fear, this was not the end she had imagined. She was going to die a long, long time ago, she was sure of that.

“I could let you go, but what would I gain from that, eh? You still have another year and a half to serve me and that would be hard for you as an immaterial soul,” he provocatively took one of the red berries and crushed it between his thumb and forefinger as a demonstration of strength. Not because even a child could do this, but because he held the only medicine far away.

Meg watched as the juice ran down his fingers into his palm and then down his wrist. What did he expect from her now?

“So?”

And there it was again, that shark-like smile full of sharp teeth and blazing yellow eyes.

“It seems I have your poor life in my hands again. History repeats itself, doesn’t it? Such a cliché,” he said dramatically.

Meg frowned, but her surroundings began to melt slightly before her eyes. She began to get chills. Inside, she felt like a torch, and yet she felt as if she were at the very top of an iceberg and her skin was turning to solid stone.

“What do you want, Hades?”

“That’s a fair question, girl,” he complimented himself, not at all bothered by her current state, “let’s put it another way, I’d like to extend our collaboration, my sweet follower,” he cooed as he approached the table where she knelt.

“What?” Megara breathed heavily.

"Eh, I guess I didn't express myself well enough," Hades arrogantly raised his pointed nose higher, "if I give you the medicine you obviously need, my nutmeg, let's say I want to claim another six months of your life here in the underworld."

Megara turned the words over in her head, and she couldn't believe the audacity, this was a blatant fraud. Although he didn't know that Pain and Confusion would infect her, he obviously didn't shy away from using it to his advantage. She had the right to be angry, but she didn't have the strength to do so now.

"Come on, girl, there's only one option, either you sign or you stay here with me anyway, but there won't be much life in you," a scroll topped with two bleached bones began to levitate in the air next to her. The impossibly long text spread out before her eyes, but down there was surely Hades' personal initials.

“How do I know what’s in there, what if you want to cheat me?”

“I can read it to you if you want, but tick-tock, time is ticking and you don’t have much of it right now, so what will it be? Life or death, I’m waiting…” he drew out the last syllables with undisguised gaiety.

Meg gritted her teeth, and even though she wanted to run away from the inevitable, she couldn’t, and he knew it well.

With a shaking hand, she grabbed the quill that was floating in the air next to the scroll, and signed it clumsily.

With his satisfied grunt, the document rolled up on its own and flew away into the archive.

“Now for the practical part. Show me how desperate you are, Meg…”

She didn’t understand what he meant, until he reached out his hand to her, and she realized. No, he definitely wouldn’t let her do anything easily, it wouldn’t be him, not to have fun with it sadistically.

"The longer you delay, the weaker you will be and the longer it will take to recover," he urged her maliciously.

Meg fought against her revulsion and hatred for this vile god, but despite this, her desire to survive was stronger. She had made many bad choices in her life, and hopefully this one wouldn't be worse than the last.

She grabbed Hades' wrist with her tiny fingers and squeezed, as if she believed he would evaporate at that moment and leave her there to die. She leaned forward until her pink lips touched the sticky juice. It was sticky, but she had to get it in. With the utmost determination, she opened her mouth and licked his index finger from top to bottom.

She continued in this slow motion from index finger to thumb until he spread his fingers like a spider and offered her his palm.

All the while she felt his heavy, smoldering gaze, if she were more attentive she might discover something hidden there that she definitely did not want to name, but like this she concentrated only on what she was doing and hoped to forget it later as the most humiliating thing she had ever had to do.

Suddenly one of her thoughts literally burst to the forefront and she flinched away from his gray hand on her tongue, the still sweet and sour taste of the berry and his own divine essence.

Almost as if he knew exactly what she was thinking, he laughed, "no, no, no, you don't have to worry, these are not fruits from the underworld. They won't trap you here. I wouldn't be cruel enough to do this to you."

Megara visibly sighed, but Hades' hand had already grabbed her jaw.

"Perhaps I should return the favor, Meg," he leaned towards her and she held her breath in horror that he would dare to kiss her and take advantage of the situation in an even worse way. It was enough that she had to lick his fingers, in which he held the worms.

"No, thank you, that's not necessary," she swallowed and tried to pull away, but her stability on her knees was not the strongest.

“I think so, you signed the contract and it’s only fair that I give you what you need,” he smiled contentedly from ear to ear as he pressed a red ball to her lips with his other hand. It didn’t take him much effort to force it on her like a little bird.

“That’s my good girl,” Meg praised as he forced her to chew and swallow everything he had in store.

“So that… was unnecessary before?” she hissed venomously as he let go of her. Did she have to lick him, even though he had the medicine in his other hand and could he forgive himself for this embarrassment?

“Just a test of loyalty, nothing more,” he mocked her and shrugged carelessly.

“You…” Megara was overcome by fatigue, literally giving her legs a hard time and she collapsed onto the table.

Hades glanced at his sundial to check the time, “well, it took longer than I expected.”

Under other circumstances, he would have left anyone else there to fend for themselves, but this was a different matter. Meg was… he still didn’t know what to make of her, but he knew one thing for sure, their fates were on the same track, intertwined somewhere between his long life and her short one, just as he had, quite by chance, secretly glimpsed the woven tapestry of fate in the Cave of Fates. Sure, they were just images woven with thread, it wasn’t text that would tell him the future exactly, so he could only guess, but wasn’t that what was so exciting about it?

Whatever role Megara played in his fate, he would find out, he had two years to do it.

Hades reached out, took the limp woman in his arms, and carried her to her room.

Comments

A big apology in advance to those who read this as a translation, my native language is different and all the jokes make sense in it, but I don't know how much the translator will translate it correctly, maybe it's not that bad.

So that's the start, we don't hear about Hades anymore, we have him right on the scene and we meet the inevitable minions. Meg, Confusion and Pain have a pretty tense relationship, at least at the beginning, when they just have to get used to her. Meg is such an intruder in the underworld and they think they can use her. Megara should show them that she's not a minion like them, she's a human being not an immortal monster. It's been a few months since she made her deal with Hades, but it's all very new to her, even though she's explored the underworld, to say the least, because it's dangerous to go anywhere, because there are dangers lurking everywhere, there are harpies, the territory of Hecate, Tartarus, the Fates who eat human flesh, the great spider Arachne, who is the guardian of the tapestry of fate, and many others.

I decided to use the Hercules series as the skeleton of the story for some part, with the characters in it being adults and mainly featuring Meg as the central main character. Here's a preview of what it would look like if she were already Hades' servant.

For those interested in the original, here it is: Hercules episode 39 - Hercules and the Big Lie

Chapter Text

Chapter 3.

Catastrophe Part 2.

Hades carried Megara to her room, which he had assigned her. It was no different from the rooms here in the underworld, yet she had stamped her colors, so instead of blue curtains there were purple, it was not to his taste, but who was he to argue over something so petty, right? If she was going to spend another month here, this was the least he could do for her, so that she wouldn't go crazy.

What he couldn't bite, however, was the ceramic sun with wavy rays the size of a saucer stuck to her door. The trinket served as a pointer so that Meg wouldn't get the wrong room, but Hades saw another symbolism in it.

Even though his nutmeg worked for him, he still suspected her of leaning towards his brother, and that made him even angrier.

"A reminder for me to ask later," he mentally wrote on the parchment among another stack of his thoughts.

The Lord of the Underworld quietly floated into the room and placed his ward on the soft sheets. Her slender figure gently sank into the softness of the blanket as if she were embraced by a cloud. The bed itself was large enough not to fall out of it in her sleep, but in no way could it match his royal size, he grinned.

There was also a rather funny story attached to this bed, because this was exactly the one his own brother Poseidon had given him for his birthday. Yeah, a really funny gift from someone who doesn't know what mortals, let alone gods, need.

What did he say? -You'll sleep like they're throwing you into the water, brother.-

HA, HA, Really funny, he rolled his eyes.

Since then, he had banned any celebrations in his honor to avoid such embarrassing things, and there were many of them, for example, he received a strange yellow duck from the fates, the purpose of which he had not yet understood.

The bed was placed with other unnecessary furniture, until one day he found a place for it and now it belonged to Meg.

Hades straightened up and his yellow eye slid to the carved wood full of mermaids and fish, the same was true of the brocade canopy and the curtains with a marine theme, they simply could not be missing. He would not give something like that even to his little daughter, that is, if he had one. Fortunately, Meg, except for a few remarks, was satisfied with the room, after all, she had slept in worse places, this, even if it was tasteless, was a luxury.

"Popo was never a good giver, and that canopy? "He hasn't been wearing it for a few years, he should stick his head out of his Atlantis sometime, pffff," he shook his head as he left. Smoke crept across the marble floor, leaving no trace of soot. Hades had already touched the door with one hand, but at the last moment he stopped and looked over his shoulder. Meg lay there, her eyes closed, like a lover after a long night from which he secretly leaves in the morning.

"Sweet dreams, nut," the lord of the dead sneered before leaving for his important duties to oversee his plan with Catastrophe.

Two days later, however, all the efforts were not going as well as they had first seemed. Hades had given his minions enough time to prepare for the new Greek Plague to break out, but instead of finding the two demons torn apart and ready to rest on their tired legs, he found them lounging in the throne room, stuffing themselves with his with the earthworms that Meg had so willingly collected.

“You call this doing your job conscientiously?” he caught them off guard, and as Hades’ long shadow engulfed them, they knew it was too late for any excuses.

So it happened that Magaru was awakened by a scream that echoed through the palace corridors. It must be said that there was not a single mark or pimple on her body from her illness, and she even felt surprisingly better than before. She felt as if she had been asleep for weeks, but how much time could have passed? What had happened while she had been asleep?

The screams that reached her sensitive ears even through the closed door were mixed with growls and barks.

If it had continued a moment longer, her head would have shattered into a thousand pieces. Someone would have deserved a gag. Perhaps it was curiosity, perhaps annoyance at all the commotion, but one of them made her get up and follow the sounds to the main hall.

What she saw didn't surprise her that much anymore, she had seen worse, so she stepped through the curtain and crossed her arms as she looked at the two goblins, chained together, swinging in the air and flailing their legs.

Below them, the stone floor parted to reveal a hole that led directly into Cerberus's pen. She could quite vividly imagine him watching the whipping toy from below with all six eyes.

Not far from the wooden wheel on which the chain was wound, Hades stood in a less than pleasant mood, judging by the fact that his dark chiton was turning yellow every now and then, like fireworks.

"So we will repeat my orders," the lord of the dead spoke dangerously calmly, smiling at his servants as if they had brought him the best news.

Pain and Confusion swallowed hard when they stopped screaming.

"When… you ordered us to invent a deadly disease, that was point number one, your wickedness," Pain stammered in a sycophantic tone, trying to fly his wings out of reach of Cerberus, who was so fond of his two new toys that he was jumping and trying to catch them with one of his three mouths. Fortunately, he had not reached a single devil so far, but the sound of those sharp-toothed mouths snapping open was terrifying, considering that one of them was as big as a cyclops' head.

"Yes? Go on, boys," Hades urged them.

"And... And... Then you ordered us to take her to the most remote village," Confusion tried to remember the exact order of words.

"Really? Was that my order? Couldn't it be that you misunderstood something?" Hades asked very calmly, raising his eyebrows.

Anyone with at least two brain cells would have realized that they had screwed up something terribly.

Both demons shook their heads furiously.

"No, sir! "No way!" they answered in unison, trying in vain to convince their master that they were right. Hades began to turn red and his fire began to glow so brightly that the otherwise cool room was as hot as a solarium. Meg was far enough away from the explosion and had enjoyed some of the heat; if it was the worst, she would have hid in the corridor. If she hadn't done it a few more times, she wouldn't have a single hair on her head.

"I said and I'm quoting now: Take it TO THE WESTERNEST VILLAGE, TO THE WESTERNEST VILLAGE! TO THE WESTERNEST VILLAGE! NO! ONLY TO THE WESTERNEST VILLAGE! That's a big difference!" Hades raged and jerked his hand, the pulley started moving, the pair lowered themselves closer to Cerberus and his teeth.

"No sir, please! Don't let us be eaten!" screamed Pain, whose big pink ass was lower than Chaos's.

The pulley loosened a few more iron eyes, and then jammed. Now he could literally feel the confusion, Cerberus almost sniffing his feet.

Hades seemed to cool down, as if someone had thrown a wet sheet over him and calmed down, but inside he was still burning like a torch.

"Well, and while we're at it, did you forget to tell me something about the disease? Something important, for example?" the lord of the underworld gestured with one hand, and it was clear that he probably knew the answer in advance.

"Maybe we forgot one very small detail," Pain admitted reluctantly.

"SUCH A SMALL DETAIL!" Hades roared, and this time the entire underworld shook to its foundations.

"Well, actually, if the person in question survives the disease by some miracle, all his previous illnesses will be cured and maybe even mutilation, lame hands or feet, or he will grow a second eye, but that's not completely proven," Confusion reluctantly listed the miraculous effects and began to lift his legs as much as he could, since he was almost within reach of the dog's teeth.

"You call that a detail?" Hades' clothes began to smolder, and small flames danced down his neck and arms.

"Why are you angry, sir? The locals built you a nice, big altar, and that doesn't happen very often," Pain, in his stupidity, didn't understand.

"THEY BUILT IT FOR ME OUT OF GRATITUDE! OUT OF GRATITUDE! "Not out of fear, you idiots!" the lord of all the dead roared at his minions. "If Zeus finds out, I'll be on Olympus for a laugh! Do you understand that?"

Megara hid her laughter behind her palm so that his wrath wouldn't turn on her, but for now it seemed as if the trio didn't even know about her. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a new mirror that had been created by divine power for a single purpose.

A silver snake and smoke wrapped around the black frame, the whole thing strangely floating in the air without any stand.

Curiously, she approached it and peered over to the other side. The image was clear and showed a village with thatched roofs. It looked like a cluster of houses with fences and herds of sheep and cows, nothing special, and then someone had built a bathhouse right next to it. Something that absolutely didn't fit there. The inscriptions next to the bathhouse and the sign indicated that just a few hours of illness would It will extend your life by decades. It will make your skin look younger and your wrinkles will fade. It will even heal wounds and fractures.

Well, Megara thought, that could be true, assuming people found a cure so quickly, which was unlikely.

On the other side of the village, there was also activity, many willing people were building a temple on which stood a statue of the friendly, kind and smiling Hades. He didn't look like himself at all, and Megara burst out laughing again. All that was left was for flowers to be carved into his hair.

But what the lord of the dead wanted was a terrifying and intimidating reputation, not its exact opposite. Now she understood what had upset him so much.

"Well, it's not a bad change for once," she allowed herself to point out. With which she finally made herself known.

Hades glared at her before sulking angrily back to his stone throne, where he sprawled out, trying to figure out how to salvage the situation.

"How would you feel if those believers built you a statue like that?" he snapped angrily.

"I'd be grateful?" Meg shrugged and headed for the hole in the floor where one of the heads was peeking out. Cerberus sniffed the air and the head turned toward her enthusiastically, licking both of her hands with its large tongue. Two more heads also tried to squeeze through the hole to greet her, but it was too small for another one to squeeze through.

"Shh, erm, here, can't you let us go?" the demons began to plead and whimper, and at that moment the moment of revenge for those experiments with diseases arrived. Her smirk could have matched Hades's in all its terrifying glory.

"As you wish," Megara smiled sweetly, and poked the pin with a single finger, unlocking the wheel and pulley with the chain. Both devils crashed into Cerberus' pen beneath the palace.

"NO, NO, NO!"

"Have fun, boys," she waved to them as she leaned over the hole.

"Meg, dear, a word," Hades beckoned her to him, while behind her she heard shouts like, "Good dog! Yay... I won't throw those rocks at you! I promise! No, not by the tail!"

Cerberus excitedly made happy noises as the hellhound played with his new toys, which were fortunately immortal.

Megara remained calm, at first she thought she had done something wrong that the ruler of the underworld would not approve of, such as bullying his assistants, but as it turned out, he didn't care about the two fools at all and their fate was, one might say, stolen from him at the moment.

"Have you heard of the town of Alkellion or the province of Niolekla? They are two small states on the outskirts of Greece. They are only interesting because they don't like each other, which is not a bad thing and in our case rather convenient," the lord of the dead pointed his finger at the mirror and a map with the marked territory of both backwaters appeared in it. First one and then the other.

"That miraculous village where my new temple will stand," he rolled his eyes, "lies in disputed territory."

The image blurred and the very first one appeared again. The two rulers continued to be displayed in the mirror, although that was a bit of a strong word. At first glance, they both looked the same. Big muscle men who haven't learned much, but they can lift a keg of beer with one hand.

"So, here's my latest plan. You go to those two punks who rule there. You invite them to a meeting. You get them to look at you, both of them, and there's a reason for war and there will be corpses in the world... Underground, that is. "Any questions?" Hades asked rhetorically.

"Did you just make that up?" Meg tilted her head to the side to show how far-fetched the whole plan was.

"I improvise as I go, when someone is so incapable of remembering what I say!" he inhaled through his nose and looked at the hole his minions had fallen into.

"Don't worry, I'm not saying it's a bad plan, Hades, but it still seems a bit hasty to me," she indicated the inch of space between her thumb and forefinger.

"Maybe you should take a moment and think it through in detail."

The Lord of the Underworld casually leaned back in his high chair, "that sounds like you have an idea, I'll go with it, I'm one big divine ear," as if in a second Hades had lost all his anger and annoyance and shifted impatiently on his throne.

"You know what, sit down here and "Tell me everything, bird, so I can hear you better," he certainly didn't wait for her to do it herself and start protesting no, something kicked Megara's feet and she sat down on a black cloud of smoke that carried her to him, and when it cleared, she was sitting on one of the marble armrests of his throne. She was really relieved that it wasn't his lap.

But what now?

Meg was really getting uneasy, she was too close to getting burned if she made him angry, which could be at any moment. And on top of that, he expected her to have a plan!

How could he think such a thing? Maybe he thought she would come up with something more useful than the two of them, after all, she was human and cunning. But she had slept long enough to think of anything and now the clock was ticking.

Okay, so she should play his game too and improvise.

"Isn't this coast under Athena's jurisdiction? If anything, she's a wise goddess, and I don't think she approves of war, so she won't get involved?" Meg tapped her lower lip thoughtfully.

Hades' yellow eyes sparkled with energy, looking from one side to the other, as if he expected the self-proclaimed goddess to appear and start blaming him for things that hadn't happened yet. Finally, he just waved it aside.

“Athena is arguing with Ares right now, she has enough of her own to worry about with two villages at the end of the world, and if she succeeds, it won’t be just this one skirmish, which reminds me, there’s a weekly meeting on Olympus soon, I need to find out how those two got so into each other’s hair and spice it up a bit.”

Meg kept her cool, not that she had anything against war, there was always war going on somewhere in Greece, but somehow she hated the thought of being the one to start this skirmish. Another sin on her list of vices.

She knew somehow that it wouldn’t be avoided, but why should she have to bear the burden alone?

“Okay, okay, I’ll do what you want, but this job requires more performers. If I tempted both men, it might last a long time and the fame of the disease and the cured ones would spread faster, but I have an idea,” she began, carefully and slowly.

“Tell me, don’t strain me, Meg, you know how much I love to listen to you,” purred Hades, whose hand that was closest to her tried to hug her, but she slapped his fingers across his.

“Why should I be the only one to bear all this, it’s not fair,” she folded her hands under her breasts in resentment, “I’ll take care of one of those big guys, but Pain and Confusion will take care of the other. Together we can create a hateful clash and…”

“And?” Hades’ head approached her curiously, like a curious child waiting for the end of a fairy tale where the princess and prince end up very badly.

“I could tell people that it’s their water in the spa that cures people of the Catastrophe, everyone will want the water for themselves, and that’s where I’d start. If that doesn’t start a fight, then I don’t know what will. Imagine how greedily everyone will want the water for themselves. People have killed for minor things, but this is a cure for everything, of course it's a lie, the water is ordinary, it can't raise the dead, but stupid people will believe it."

Megara's mind was racing, she was always ashamed of lying, but it was a means by which a lot could be achieved and a pretty woman like her would make men believe anything.

She was quite satisfied with her new plan, and she sighed that the almighty Athena would not interfere, she certainly didn't want another god's interest to fall on her.

"So what do you say to that, Hades?"

It looks as if the ruler of the underworld considered the whole plan for a moment and looked for any flaws in it himself, but finally snapped his fingers. Pain and Confusion appeared in front of the throne in a cloud of smoke. Both devils looked rather wrinkled, if we count the bruises and bites. The two of them were huddled together like children frightened by a bad scarecrow, covering each other's eyes in anticipation of the worst.

"Please, no, are we going to feed you regularly, Cerberus?" they screamed hysterically, which was an admirable performance, until instead of a dog growling they heard Hades' impatient fingers tapping on the throne. The demons cautiously opened first one eye and then the other, then collapsed to the floor with relief that the horror was behind them.

A disappointed howl came from below from all three heads, and the hellhound realized that his new toys had disappeared.

"I have a job for you, boys, maybe this whole mistake can still be fixed," Hades informed his two henchmen, and in a second both imps quickly rushed to attention, or at least what they thought was attention, which was more of a parody, but their master made no comment.

"You will set off together to Alkellion immediately. There you will find the local ruler, Amas, who is getting muscles in his head these days. You will convince him that he alone has the right to the village, which you so willingly helped to make famous with your illness." Well, and that he has to defend it from usurpers who would lay claim to it," the lord of the dead tried to convey the orders to his servants as simply as possible, so that they would understand this time.

"Understood? Both of you? Simply and simply, for your two little brains, you will pit the idiot there against the one who is being manipulated by my dear Meg."

"Understood, boss," they both began to nod obsequiously.

Meanwhile, Hades pressed his large palm to Megara's ass and lightly pushed her off his armrest. She didn't have time to react and just slid down and stumbled towards the group of Confusion and Pain.

"You can count on us, my lord. We will convince that scoundrel that no one is allowed to touch the village," assured Hades, the obviously slightly smarter of the pair, while Pain nodded feverishly.

"I hope so," Hades's palms pressed against the marble armrests, into which he dug his nails so hard that they left grooves in the stone. "Kerberos was terribly happy with the new toys to tear. If you fail, which I wouldn't advise you to do, you'll become his rubber teethers for a month," the god of the underworld smiled all too sweetly at the frightened pair and gestured to dismiss the pair.

The devils stormed out of the hall as if their heels were on fire. Which, given their master's quick-tempered nature, could soon be the case. Then Hades turned his gaze to the woman in front of him.

"When one part of the plan is in progress, the other part can continue in parallel. You, my nutmeg, will now set off for Niolekla. The harder part awaits you, since you don't have any divine power but you don't really need it, am I right? You have a natural talent. You'll convince Sam that he really wants the village and especially the water. Nothing difficult, for a beauty like you."

The shark's smile would have seemed sweet if it weren't for the fact that it was rather creepy. Hades expected results, and he wouldn't settle for anything less, Meg realized.

What had she gotten herself into?

With a few flicks of her fingers, a cool breeze blew through the room, opening a portal to the mortal world, to be exact, a square.

"Wait. Wait! Just go there?" Megara raised a finger importantly.

"What are you missing?" Hades frowned and began to slowly smolder. "You have everything you need," he pointed to her body.

"What about new clothes if I'm supposed to impersonate someone, an escort, a recommendation on parchment, and most importantly, money," she rubbed her hands in a clear gesture that indicated a cache.

She had never ventured this far, her errands for Hades always hung around Thebes, but this was God knows where, how would she get back if they left her there? She would have to buy horses and food. She wanted some kind of insurance.

"Women and money," the god of the dead rolled his eyes, but he recognized the usefulness of this request.

"Okay, some money for bribes would be good," the lord of the underworld agreed.

In the same way as before, he opened another small portal and reached into it. He pulled out a heavy canvas bag full of gold drachma coins, which he tossed to the woman. Before the portal closed, they both heard Charon's voice: "Where did my purse go? Help the thief..."

Hades quickly closed the portal and, obviously in a better mood, waved Meg on her way.

"Then go ahead, run. Time is running out, so you'll have some promising results by tonight."

He obviously wanted to get rid of her quickly, as the ferryman was just stomping down the stairs and running to report to his master that he had been shamelessly robbed in broad daylight.

Meg overcame herself and winked coquettishly at her slaver before walking into the unknown.

Before the portal completely closed, she heard the beginning of Charon's lament, to which Hades replied: okay, okay, someone stole your purse, eh? That thief will fry in Tartarus when we find him, but first write up the report. You know, formalities.”

The portal threw Megara straight into the square, where the sun was blazing. He really couldn't have chosen a more conspicuous place, she groaned to herself. Several people were startled when she suddenly appeared in the middle of the strangers. A few people ran away, others looked at her as if she had fallen from the sky and she even heard someone whisper that she was a messenger of the gods.

She grinned at that, they weren't far from the truth. She just smiled at them and tried not to stand out.

The buildings around looked like a backwoods that even foxes wouldn't give a good night's sleep. Instead of walls, the town was surrounded by a neglected palisade that was crumbling in places. There wasn't even anyone guarding the entrance to the town. The only difference between the town and the village was a rather small palace, which was only a slightly better two-story house.

From what she saw, the locals didn't even make a living from farming, but only from herding goats and cows. The most interesting buildings visible from her place were the blacksmith's shop, the tavern, and the small temple of Athena. The other two dozen houses were indistinguishable from each other, all with thatched roofs.

Meg looked around and weighed the bag, it was more than generous.

"And what is this?" she looked at the label that hung from the decorative string that pulled the bag.

“Charon’s property, don’t touch it unless you’re Charon.”

Now she knew where the funds came from and that Hades wasn’t being picky with them, as a god he must have had heaps of money or could have created it but no, the greedy bastard must have stolen it. She wasn’t surprised at all, she just felt sorry for Charon for a moment.

Fortunately, there was only one ferryman in the underworld and he would soon be collecting new coins from customers.

Meg looked around again, if she couldn’t pass herself off as a rich lady, she needed a disguise, and since her job was to seduce someone, she needed something bolder.

“Where do you have anything to wear?” she grabbed the hand of a young woman with a strange hairstyle that looked like she had been struck by lightning.

“Do you want a new chyton?” she asked curiously.

“Something like that.”

“Then you can go there, old Thanatos is the only clothing store, but it’s a bit of a dump,” she looked her up and down with an appraising look, Meg almost blushed.

“You must be far away, right? Athens? Thebes? Troy? You don’t see such nice dresses here,” she sang of her purple dress enviously, because purple was the most expensive color on the market and she knew it very well. It had once been bought for her by the man who was now in Hades’ slavery.

“Yes, I’m traveling around Greece to see the world,” Megara lied convincingly, playfully fooling her with a few stories and also getting a few interesting things out of her in return.

“So where do the locals go to party?”

“We have a parade a couple of times a year, but otherwise the locals go to that place over there, but if I were you, I wouldn’t go there, women avoid it, it’s not a restaurant, some of the men are quite rude, especially when they’ve been drinking,” she whispered the last words, as if someone around might hear her.

“I see, no Plato around, huh?” Megara giggled.

“I guess so, nobody went to school here, we’re a relatively isolated community.”

Okay, I’ll write, only a fool on the horizon, that’ll make it easier, Meg thought and said goodbye.

She immediately headed for the store and almost tripped over a ton of unnecessary stuff at the door.

“Hey, is anyone here?” she called out as she entered.

A large pile of something moved somewhere in the back. “Uh… Thanatos, are you around? I need to buy some clothes, if you have any.”

“And do you have any money?” came a voice from behind.

Meg weighed the purse in her hand, “I think so.”

At that moment, almost as if by magic, a short man stood in front of her with a white toga that reached down to the floor, so that his sandals couldn’t even be seen.

He was kind of looking down at her, rolling his eyes through her breasts, which were blocking his view of her face.

“So what event do you want, girl?”

“Not really, I want something to fit in, to be with the locals, but something nice that would suit me,” she pointed to her line.

“That’s weird, everyone who stopped by today wanted something extra, they’re all heading to that village where miracles happen, they say people get miraculously healed there and it’s all Hades’ fault.”

Megara was already on the verge of saying something that certainly wouldn’t flatter Hades, but she had to play her part.

“Really? That the god of the underworld would want something like that?” she waved her hand as if she didn’t believe him.

“It’s weird, but miracles do happen.”

“And do you have any clothes left? Maybe I'd go see the parade too."

It would definitely be an experience, she was really curious about the smiling statue and popping into the spa didn't sound bad either.

"Do I have anything else here, how about this?"

"Eh, it's a fishing net."

The salesman blinked and smiled apologetically, it wasn't exactly a pretty sight, since most of his teeth were missing.

The net flew away and a moment later he dug out three other dresses.

"These blue ones would do," she said after trying them on for a while, it wasn't her color but whatever, it was a relatively simple cut with sleeves at the waist, pulled in by a silver sash that highlighted her assets, which puffed out in the neckline, which she had slightly adjusted to make it even more seductive.

Thanatos was already behind the counter, "so pay nicely now, I don't give anything for free to anyone, not even a beauty like you."

Megara pulled off her ribbon and let her hair flow freely down her back in waves, although it was fashionable to have it braided in some complicated hairstyle on top of her head, but this way it would look more ordinary.

"How much do you want for them?"

"Three gold coins," the little man said confidently.

"For three coins I would pay much better in a big city, these are worth one at most," she pursed her lips.

"Okay, okay, I see you're not stupid, too bad, then one gold coin," he held out his open palm to her.

Meg opened her purse and fished out the coin she gave him.

The merchant bit into it first, at which point Meg thought another of his few remaining teeth would fall out. He grunted in agreement, then looked at the coin and furrowed his brows.

"This is a Drachma, here they pay in Denarii."

"What?" Megara was surprised, trying to find some Thracian denari in her purse, but...

"What if I keep your original clothes instead? They're very nice, they could certainly be sold for a high price," Thanatos suggested discreetly.

"No way, it was a gift," Meg shook her head firmly, knowing full well where he was getting at.

"If you don't want to, you'll have to return the blue ones or... what's this?"

Megara couldn't understand where he was looking.

"What's what?"

"Well, this? The purse, does it say what I think?"

The woman took the label in her fingers and read it aloud.

“Is that really Charon? That Charon? The ferryman?”

She started to nod when she saw the interest on the old merchant’s face, his eyes literally shining like stars in the sky.

“But, that’s a unique collector’s item! I… I’ll give you whatever you want!”

“Really? For this old piece of cloth with string?” she pointed doubtfully at the purse.

“Yes! You have no idea how much it’s worth, girl. It’s priceless to a collector!”

“Then we’ll definitely come to an agreement,” she smiled sweetly and soon left with a new purse that was even a little fuller, with a few extra pieces of jewelry, two spare clothes, a wooden cart and a donkey.

She said her goodbyes cheerfully and headed for the tavern.

Comments 

There's one big news, my friend joined the story and I thank him SO MUCH for that and we'll be making it up together, which is even more fun and it'll probably go faster, the chapters will keep coming :D

Chapter Text

Chapter 4.

Catastrophe Part 3.

Hades watched the whole conversation curiously in his divine mirror, because he had nothing else to do and just shook his head in confusion.

"So she managed to buy all this and not spend a single Denarius. Someone is lucky," the growl was half envious and half ironic, and here we again come across the fact that Tyche the goddess of fortune does not like him. Even so, he secretly paid Meg a compliment about the merchant. He had not had someone so enterprising in his service for a long time.

For a moment, he considered whether he should confess and return Charon's earnings, but in the end he left it for later.

"Meg is doing well, and what about the rest of my group?" he said casually to himself.

"Their instructions are so simple that even they wouldn't have to confuse them," he reassured himself aloud as he paced back and forth, shadows stretching across the floor. Curiosity got the better of him, and with a snap of his fingers, the image rippled, showing a completely different scene in a completely different town.

Here, the action was conducted in a much different dynamic spirit.

The square turned into a battlefield, more and more people were attacking each other, and from the broken-down door of the pub, he could tell that they were drunken citizens who had thrown themselves out of the pub.

A pair of devils stood at the very edge of the square, arguing with each other about something.

Occasionally, a stick, a bucket, or a chair would fly past them, which they quickly dodged and continued their conversation. Confusion and Pain were so used to chaos that the wild environment did not faze them in the least.

"Well, nothing," Hades rubbed his tired eyes and snapped the mirror back to Megara, who was definitely more beautiful to look at.

"At least she's worth looking at," Hades sighed, and indeed, her loose hair made her more seductive and vulnerable, but he knew full well that a cat like that had sharp claws.

The fatigue seemed to disappear at that moment as he examined the line of her new clothes. He didn't know anyone who would despise such company. No one would stand a chance against her, and that was why Meg was his precious piece on the playing field. Of course, each of his servants had their own special qualities, but she had something that the others didn't. If he had spoken his mind, he would definitely have flattered her. On the other hand, his two minions mostly relied on their demonic power.

The lord of the underworld was lost in thought for a moment, or perhaps it was her ass that hypnotized him, as she headed straight for the local pub.

The mirror made no sound, but he could literally hear the hinges creaking loudly.

The large venue had heavy benches with goat skins and an arsenal of seated regulars who turned their heads towards her curiously. Megara looked around and assessed the situation, fairly quickly singling out a single burly strongman from the herd and slipped behind him.

"Well, there used to be sound here, right? What's wrong with that shop? Someone's jamming my signal? Such an important situation and I can't hear anything!" "Stupid mirror!" Hades slammed his fist into the object, sending it through the wall and into a mug of beer, which tipped over and spilled into the lap of a villager.

"Oh, sorry, mate," Hades apologized, pulling his hand back.

"Who said that?" the man jumped to his feet and ran out of the pub as if bees were following him. He had evidently not noticed the stranger's hand in his drunkenness.

"At least she won't be blindfolded," the lord of the dead waved it off carelessly, trying to tune the sound. When he finally succeeded, the mirror was turned on a group of men.

"Hey guys, did you see? She smiled at me! I keep telling you that women take me like fish to a rod," the villager happily banged the table and pointed behind him, the cattle drivers looked in that direction and added a few blunt obscene remarks.

"That's hard to believe. She smiled at me!" the other objected, and the two began to argue over such trivial things. A fight was only a matter of time, like a lit keg of dynamite.

However, Meg ignored everyone as she headed through the pub towards the man she had briefly glimpsed earlier when Hades was educating her.

The hunk sat at the head of the table, his strong thighs comfortably apart and his chest as wide as a wine barrel.

"No, definitely not, do I look like an ox? I won't bet that Hebe will throw a barrel here and you, Ophion, will catch it in your claws! You're both drunk and it's only afternoon," the local ruler shook his head dismissively.

"Why? I'm strong enough and my chest is strong enough to break that barrel, and my muscles are made of steel, I could easily carry two," boasted Hebe until his boasting slipped into something that resembled the squirming of an offended child.

"I'm not afraid for you or for Ophion. I'm afraid for the barrel of good wine. You know how your previous idea of ​​juggling amphorae turned out. "We've lost almost the entire batch and we won't have another until after the harvest," the local ruler frowned at his followers, leaning his hands on the table. Kolohnát couldn't miss what a brave woman had decided to step into their tavern. Gradually, everyone fell silent and some of them began to peek at the miracle a little too keenly.

Meg made sure her hips swayed like waves on the sea, giving the strong impression of someone who was quite aware of her charm and not lacking in self-confidence. Every man in the tavern secretly hoped that she would sit next to him, but she walked to the bar and had the bartender order her drink.

She sat there for a moment while the locals took in the fact that a new woman had come to the tavern, before she got up and simply stood in front of the table with her new victim.

"Excuse me for disturbing you, but is there someone among you, Sam? They said "I think he's the one who's running it all," she looked around at all the faces at the table, not forgetting to put her hands on her hips to highlight them.

"Sam? We don't know anyone like that here, no one in town is called Sam, but it's not even a Greek name, I would know that," one of the men muttered, undressing her with his eyes, as if trying to guess what was under her clothes.

"Isn't any of you really called Sam?" Meg feigned despair, and the leader's face showed a mixture of emotions, most of all he liked the woman and would like to spend more minutes with her, on the other hand he didn't want to admit to... but if she didn't, he would go find someone else.

"I'll be Sam," the big man at the head of the table announced, "that's what my mother called me when I was little," he blushed furiously and the men around him burst into laughter.

"But my other name is Salmoneus, like the disease salmonella," he said with more pride, hitting his chest with his fist and the group around him howled with laughter again.

Meg tried her best to keep the same expression, but Hades behind the mirror didn't have to pretend anything and began to grin.

"So come with me, strong man, we'll definitely have something to talk about, huh?" she smiled coquettishly at him as if inviting him straight to bed. Salmoneus didn't even have time to say a word and Meg was already walking to another free table a little further back, without any more curious ears. She just looked back as she walked and pointed with her finger for him to follow her.

The hunk reacted as if he had been stung by Cupid's arrow and jumped off the bench, needless to say he would have followed her to the underworld and she wouldn't have had to hold him by a string. That was just how Meg affected others, it was her inner charm, her animal attraction that appealed to men when they met.

"So, Salmonee..." she drew out fondly and sat down directly at the table as she took her drink from the counter. "I have some interesting news for you, top secret."

"I'll let you enjoy that, beautiful nymph," the strong man cooed and sat down on the bench so he had a good view of her legs.

"Such a handsome man, he'll surely appreciate my helpful advice, won't he?" she reached out and stroked his chin where the stubble prickled.

"I'll listen to anything if I can be in your company," he looked up at her as if worshipping a statue. That was exactly the look she wanted.

“Well, I heard that your city has a small village, an insignificant one, right?”

“Of course, I have a few of those under my thumb. Two or three.”

“I mean one in particular, where the baths are built,” she tried to give him a hint.

“You must mean the village of Keratea, a dog died there,” Salmoneus waved his hand as if he were shooing away an impudent fly.

“Yes, I mean exactly here and no, there are some pretty important things happening there right now and whoever owns this village will be very rich,” she exclaimed enthusiastically.

“I’m here,” she poked the man in the cheek with her finger to stop him staring at her feet.

The moment his eyes lifted back up, she wanted to punch him, but she maintained her role as a seductress.

“There’s been a tragedy and a blessing there in the last few days, if you haven’t heard about it.”

The Hulk shook his head and Meg’s eye started to twitch. His town is right next door and he hasn’t heard about it??? What the hell is this?

“Well, a terrible disease has struck people, but those who have survived it seem to have suddenly become younger and have been cured of other ailments, and it’s even said that a few individuals have been raised from their deathbeds and…” she leaned closer to him now, so that his eyes were literally glued to her neck, and when he changed the angle, he could see her breasts, under the fabric of her dress.

“And they even say that those who have been cured are immortal,” she exaggerated, her breath brushing against his large ear.

As she pulled away, she found herself drooling on her cleavage. She grimaced in disgust, she had had enough of this guy, it was time to stop playing nice, because he obviously didn't notice her at all. He noticed other things, but not the ones she needed.

Meg put the cup down next to her and grabbed his cheeks with both hands and squeezed, "listen to me, you idiot, if you don't claim that village, the other guy from Alkellion will take it from you and you'll have nothing. That's because the miraculous water that heals people flows in those spas. When you have it, you'll be rich and people will worship you like a god for selling them the healing fountain of youth. Do you understand?"

The hulking man blinked slowly several times, as if trying to absorb every word and thought, which were suddenly too many now.

"So... I'll be rich?" he murmured naively and Megara sighed in relief that he understood.

“Exactly, and when you’re a rich boy, you can have a girl like me. What do you think?”

Saliva appeared again in the corner of Salmone’s mouth, and those bulging fingers and palm pressed against her knee.

She shuddered, disgusted by his transparent intentions, which were as clear as day.

“When you’re rich, strong man,” she cut him off sharply, and shyly took his hand in two fingers and pulled it away from her leg.

“Now get ready, I heard there are more of them out there vying for that spring, so you can be the first to get it.”

Salmonelus jumped off the bench, almost knocking the table over with her.

“All able-bodied men with me, grab your swords, spears, shovels and picks, we’re going to fight!”

Meg watched Salmoneus leave and pull his henchmen out of the benches.

“Whisper to someone, kick someone and give someone a good motivation,” she smiled into her glass and took a satisfied sip.

********************************************************************************************************

Now we’ll go back a few moments earlier, where Hades watched Megara through the mirror as she walked through the bar like a queen.

"Well, if this doesn't attract the attention of those thugs, then nothing will," he said thoughtfully, looking forward to further developments. He then blinked in surprise when no one responded to the first call of Sam's name.

"A mistake in the filing cabinet? Who wrote those notes? Me? No, it must have been someone else," a scroll materialized in midair, unrolled itself, and the lord of the underworld put on his glasses to scan the notes from the underworld archive. Suddenly, his ears were caught by a name that came out of the mirror.

"That's an idiot. Calling himself Salmoneus," Hades shook his head with a grin, then it suddenly occurred to him and he jumped to his feet. He gripped the mirror on the sides of the frame with both hands and almost stuck his face out.

"WHAT DOES THAT NEUROROLLER CALL HIS NAME?! What kind of name is that? AFTER ALL, IT'S THE NAME OF A DISEASE I MADE UP MYSELF! I HAVE IT PATENTED! WHERE ARE THE LAWYERS AND TRADEMARK PROTECTION! HOW CAN THIS MORTAL AFFORD SOMETHING LIKE THIS!?" raged the lord of the underworld, red-hot as a bull in the arena. But by then the strong man had followed the beautiful woman in the blue dress to the table like a tame lamb.

Hades slowly stopped glowing and sat back on his throne.

"Well," he clicked his tongue against his palate, "at least he seems easy to manipulate," he said, trying to find some minimal positive in the whole thing. It soon became clear that his dullness could be a serious problem. Mortals were so incredibly stubborn... if he had hair, he would start pulling it out.

"That guy was impossible, I guessed him right at first glance and he certainly wasn't listening to what he was saying," Hades pressed his palm to his face, convinced of the futility of Magara's actions, but the woman's success pleasantly surprised him.

"Isn't it? That looks promising," he finally rubbed his hands together contentedly.

**********************************************************************************************************

"So tell me, where did the mistake go?" Hades asked his servants, who stood a day later in front of his throne in the underworld like two small figures. Both devils involuntarily looked at each other questioningly. It was clear on the lord of the underworld that disappointment was fighting with anger of the gigantic dimensions of the universe itself, so for now he was smoldering quietly like embers in a fire.

"Not with us, boss," Pain began to defend himself.

"Yeah, with us, everyone was so excited about the fight that they rushed forward, such a minor preparation," Confusion joined in the defense.

"It must have happened somewhere else, your wickedness," both demons said simultaneously and looked significantly at Megara, who was standing a meter away from them. She tossed her hair and snorted contemptuously.

"Not with me either. Those idiots ran out so fast that many forgot their shoes," the beauty firmly denied her guilt in the whole fiasco. She definitely wouldn't let dirt be thrown at her for no reason, that's for sure.

"Who's to blame?! ME, I THINK?" the lord of the underworld exploded, and his back and cloak flared up with red fire.

The two devils crouched, and even Megara backed away a little so that she was out of range of a possible fiery explosion and wouldn't just become a charred cinder.

"What actually happened?" Meg asked cautiously, trying to calm the lord of the underworld down so that they wouldn't get grilled like goat cheese, since the devils were too scared to speak.

"Look for yourself," Hades growled displeasedly, pointing to his mirror, which had expanded to cover the entire opposite wall and the throne had turned into a comfortable chaise longue with black upholstery and blue cushions. Small black clouds materialized under Megara and the two henchmen, supporting their feet and serving as floating chairs.

The mirror reflected what had happened yesterday on the plain near the village of Keratea. Two armies, or rather bands of ragged men, had gathered within sight of each other. Their leaders stepped towards each other amid tense general anticipation.

"I am Salmoneus and this village is mine. Take your men and go where you came from!" he declared resolutely, the first to strike the ground with his spear until the tip stuck in the dirt and he couldn't pull it out.

"I am Amaseus and this town has always belonged to my family!" the leader of the second group replied with the same enthusiasm, only with a few bruises on his body.

"They are both the same idiots, why don't I get surprised?" Megara looked away.

"Yeah, they look like that, and you don't know that Amaseus keeps a goat in his room, but I'll keep quiet about what purpose," Hades agreed and began munching on bugs in a bowl instead of chips.

Meanwhile, Pain and Confusion began to encourage their favorites. "Salmonee, go for it! Hit him hard on the head!"

"Amasee, that's it! Knock out all his teeth and rip out his entrails!" Pain shouted as the leaders stood facing each other, measuring their strength and the number of followers.

"Hey, you said you were Amaseus?" Sam suddenly asked suspiciously.

"Well, yeah, I am," his rival looked as if he was trying hard to remember something. His eyebrows furrowed in hard thought.

"Brother?!"

"Sure, brother!" the men stepped towards each other, but instead of striking each other, they hugged each other warmly.

"Hey, are we really going to fight for that village?" Amaseus asked uncertainly.

"Is that possible!?" Meg groaned desperately after struggling with the idiot, since it was clear from their expressions that they didn't want to fight much anymore.

"Um, did anyone knock?" Confusion suddenly asked innocently and quickly disappeared from his place, just as both men's eyes fell on the nearby barrels of wine that someone had conveniently set up there. The seal of Hades on each barrel was definitely interesting.

"We'll discuss this over a glass of wine. What do you think?" Salmoneus grinned.

"Sure, bro," both men headed for the barrels, which they cracked open and began drinking from their helmets. It only took a moment for their retinues to follow them and soon everyone was drinking like madmen.

"When they woke up in the morning, they didn't remember why they had come there. They only remembered a good drink. And I ask again," Hades paused dramatically.

"WHAT IDIOT DID GET THAT WINE THERE!!" the lord of the underworld roared, causing the blue pillows around him to burst into flames. His powerful voice knocked Pain and Megara from the cloud to the ground.

"Not me, boss!" Pain groaned, rubbing his back.

"Not me either!" Megara added grumpily, slowly gathering herself to her knees.

"Confusion? Where are you?? "I would like to ask you a small question," Hades called sweetly to his last devil, perhaps too sweetly for someone of his gloomy nature.

The demon in question was desperately pressing his body against one of the many decorative columns and slowly approaching the exit behind his master. He was just reaching for the door leading out beyond the reach of the angry ruler of the underworld, when it suddenly flew open and crushed him mercilessly against the wall.

Ares, the god of war, marched in with a firm step in his Spartan helmet.

"Lord, the god of war has come to visit you," moaned the devil stuck to the stone. Of course, it was already a man in a red warrior's costume in front of the lord of the underworld, whom he lifted from the ground by the neck, because his body had grown so that it did not reach half of Hades' waist.

"HOW MUCH DID ATHENA PAY YOU! WHAT DID SHE PROMISE YOU?" The thunderous voice of the god of war resounded throughout the underground, causing even the water in the Styx River to ripple.

"What, what? What was she supposed to pay me for? I don't understand you at all!" the surprised ruler of the underworld defended himself verbally, evidently questioning his conscience as to where he himself had made a mistake.

"For reconciling those two provinces! I planned for Athens to attack them next week and completely destroy them, to make Athena angry, I possessed them with a fever of war that will not pass and, if possible, devastate the entire western coast," the god of war explained rudely, his red aura even more pronounced.

"Area, calm down, everything can be saved, just calm down, you have a very hot head, as always," Hades raised his hands as if giving up.

"First, the anabasis with the disease that the town is prone to, that was a good idea. I wouldn't blame you for that, more loot for the soldiers, right, there has to be some pay and merit too. But reconciling the two, that's different! Together, the two of them have enough soldiers to defend themselves. More precisely, so that those srabs from Athens don't even dare to attack them!" the god explained his indignation.

"That... it was all just an accident and a misunderstanding. I wished for the exact opposite," Hades defended himself with surprising truth, slightly strangled, as Ares held him by the chtyon around the neck.

"Then leave the stirring up of wars to the experts next time!" the god of war growled and let go of the lord of the underworld, until he fell on his ass. With that, he walked away as suddenly as he had come, while slamming Zmatka against the wall again, who had managed to dig himself out from under the wings of the massive door. Both of them then broke free from their heels and fell with a crash to the floor, where they remained lying.

"We'll have to fix that door," Zmatka noted conveniently, as if there was no commotion.

"Sir, are you okay?" Pain jumped up to his master, until all his hair rippled and he rushed towards his benefactor, who was catching his breath.

"Ares is a brute, he has nothing to do with a god of your stature, oh your wickedness," the devil flattered, and in order to maintain the decorum of his inviolability, Hades just brushed himself off as if he were brushing invisible dust off his clothes.

"So we have another player in the game, what a surprise," he suddenly declared. "The match is somehow expanding for us, but the main thing is that there will always be only one winner and that will be me," he did not let the situation affect him in any way and clasped his fingers together as if he were above the matter.

“It sounds like you planned this in advance, Hades,” Meg raised an eyebrow.

“I’m always one step ahead, my nutmeg,” he grinned at her.

“Just because I don’t tell you everything doesn’t mean I don’t have a backup plan in case someone keeps screwing it up. I haven’t forgotten about you, come back here!”

The intonation of Hades’ voice filled the room like thunder, just as Confusion was about to slip through the doorless opening, a hand made of smoke grabbed his tail and began to pull him back.

“Mercy, sir! I meant well, the wine was there for them to drink before they fought!” Confusion dug his claws into the floor like a tiger, but the power of the lord of the underworld pulled him inexorably, before lifting him into the air, his ass up, his eyes now level with the dangerous yellow ones.

“Maybe I should put you in the front line when Ares’ army is charging across the field,” he mused, “or I could make you a target practice target. No, no, no, I’ve got it, here you and Pain will pick grapes from the Cyclops’ vineyard on the north side of Olympus, ball by ball, until you replace all those spilled barrels!”

“But… they say the Cyclops eats everything in his path,” Confusion said in horror.

“Well, so you’d better be careful not to end up in his stomach,” Hades grinned again, evil enough to be serious.

“So from now on we won’t interfere in this conflict?” Megara asked with a hint of hope.

“And who said that?” Hades threw up his hands.

“Did it sound like that?” the woman shrugged.

The Lord of the Underworld wagged his finger like a child who had done something wrong, "where would there be any fun in that, dear."

Hades walked over to his desk, which was designed as a large map, on which three divisions were already placed, each with a different color, Ares' army in red, Amaseus's yellow, and Salmoneus's blue. He took small golden rakes in his hand and showed them to everyone present, "here you see all three sides of the conflict. Is that clear to everyone?"

Yellow eyes focused on the newcomers who were looking at the shaped map.

"Sure, boss," Confusion tried to replace everything with his obsequiousness, his green head just barely poking above the tabletop as he balanced on tiptoe.

Meg, on the other hand, leaned her side against the edge and assumed her ironic pose.

It was no secret that in most plans, they always took it. What would it be this time?

“They’re nice figures,” Pain began to grope for the Ares soldiers with his little paw, and Hades dragged his rakes along his back to comb his fur.

“Don’t touch!”

“Excuse your evil grandeur,” Pain screamed, ducking under the table to the other side so he wouldn’t kick him yet.

“So, what’s our main goal, huh?”

“Get more dead souls?” Meg added.

“That’s right,” Hades was enthusiastic, his hair alighting with blue flame.

“Well, that’s a bad thing to do when they’re alive, isn’t it? I somehow didn't expect that the whole event wouldn't work out as well as I expected and I wasn't far from the truth," he frowned at Zmatka, "so I pulled a few strings and tickled Ares' pride and BADA BING done, a hit on the head and therefore we only have minimal work to do and that is to lure as many people as possible to that miraculous village, so all my minions will take posters and stick them in the nearest big and small towns and that this is a festival in my grand honor," he gesticulated with his hands.

"You mean the statue?" Pain began to sneer and immediately clapped his hands to his mouth and crouched down.

A stream of fire flew over him, scorching the skin on his head and a piece of map on the table.

“I don’t want to hear about that STATUE anymore! But you’re right, that piece of stone adds credibility to it,” he got angry and immediately calmed down again.

“So you want to attract as many innocent people as possible there, who will get involved in the fight and be massacred?” Megara pursed her lips.

“Why such strong words,” Hades walked behind her, “let’s say they fall for my great glory, or they will be trampled, that’s also a possibility. Around and around, when everyone gathers there and celebrates, Ares will come and the fight will break out and it’s over HERE.”

“Then we can have a party down here, I mean, a reunion party for the deceased,” Confusion dared to suggest with a raised finger.

"Once the battle is won, do as you please, I'll be good enough to be at the top of Zeus's engagement list. Finally a god who does something useful, right?" he praised himself, moving all the figures towards him with his rakes.

"Now get to work, grab your bags and get started," Hades waved his hand, and a brand new door opened in the wall with a niche full of rolled-up posters.

Confusion and Pain each took a canvas shoulder bag with the Underworld logo that Hades had thrown at them, and they stuffed everything they could into it.

The two little demons headed out the broken door, excitedly discussing their master's new plan.

"I love this propaganda, finally something that will make us famous," Confusion cheered.

“Yeah, and I can’t remember the last time there was a festival for Hades, maybe never.”

“You idiot, that’s just a false pretense, there won’t be any festival, it’s just to get people excited,” Confusion poked at his friend.

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it, there’s a celebration anyway, there’ll be stalls, drinks, food, and I could buy some nice sandals there.”

“We don’t wear any,” Confusion mused.

“No, but we could,” Pain objected.

Once the devils with the bags had left, only Meg was left there, who went to the alcove first and picked up one of the posters. She spread it out and read aloud: “It is hereby notified that a All Souls’ Festival will be held in the village of Keratea in honor of the god Hades at his new temple. Everyone should show up, or they will face a slow death and a ticket to Tartarus for eternal damnation.”

When she finished reading, she raised her eyes and looked doubtfully at the mastermind of all this evil.

“Is it really necessary to threaten these people?” she waved the poster, which had a picture of Hades under the text.

“It’s supposed to be a joke, people love a joke,” he grinned in good humor.

“The fact that you want to massacre so many people doesn’t seem funny to me at all,” she objected.

“You have a strange sense of humor, Meg,” he said, walking around the table with the map and thinking again, probably about how many innocent souls this would attract.

“You really are insensitive,” she threw the paper at him, which rolled back in the air and burned to ashes before it could touch his back.

“Am I insensitive?” Hades turned to face her in an instant, as if she had pulled his vain string.

“So let’s do it again, dear Meg,” he pointed at her with a raised finger. “So, first of all, you wanted me to cure your great and only love, am I right?”

Meg began to frown, but she remained silent.

“Second, I did what you wanted and I didn’t have to do any of it. Third, I let you live in my palace, when you could be sleeping in a Cerberus pen or worse, fourth, you have my protection and no one can just say that, and fifth, you can enjoy the sight of my divine magnificence every day.”

“You don’t have to remind me of my sins and my stupidity,” she bristled.

“Obviously I have to, mortals have such short memories,” he lamented.

Meg was about to say how cruel it was to have her own mistakes thrown in her face in such a disgusting way, but she held him by the throat, what else was she supposed to do? She couldn’t deny everything he said, because it was the truth.

Megara turned, grabbed her bag, and headed for the alcove, cramming it full of posters before silently walking to the battered door. She had lost this battle, she could do nothing and he could do everything. Her foolish love had cost her her freedom, and this was her punishment in purgatory.

“And one more little thing, birdie,” Hades’ fingers appeared on her bare shoulder, stopping her in mid-step with a firm warning grip as one hand joined the other on the opposite shoulder.

“YOU BELONG TO ME! For two whole years. Don’t forget that! And now you can go, hurry, hurry, those posters won’t stick themselves.”

At that moment, Megara’s heart skipped a beat, those icy fingers that touched her skin like spiders were icy as cold stone and the gentle sting of his nails like eagle talons. She got goosebumps as he made it clear to her who he was and that was exactly the kind of behavior she hated. Why did every guy want to claim her as some kind of toy? A trinket he could wear and show everyone around him? All the ways to be an independent woman in his shadow were failing, because she kept tripping over the cursed contract she had made with him.

"You can't forget that..." she whispered sadly over her shoulder, waiting for him to say something else or continue to intimidate her, but Hades' fingers slid almost caressingly down her shoulders and disappeared.

Now she could finally get as far away from his company that destroyed all living things as possible.

Comments

There's one big news, my friend joined the story and I thank him SO MUCH for that and we'll be making it up together, which is even more fun and it'll probably go faster, the chapters will keep coming :D

Chapter Text

Chapter 5.

Catastrophe Part 4.

On her way out of the underworld, Megara met other inhabitants of the dark kingdom, Charon and Lamia. The tall, hooded skeleton was almost the opposite of the small creature next to her. Lamia, as her name was, was half a beautiful woman with ebony hair and half a snake, which concerned her lower half, but even that did not detract from her attractiveness in the eyes of the viewer. The monster was dressed in a toga according to the latest fashion, fastened at the shoulders with gold clasps, while a long green tail covered in shiny scales curled from the end of the garment. Both of them waved at Meg as she descended the black stairs from the palace.

"Charon and I are just going to the mortal world for a snack, do you want to join us?" "You must have a voice," Lamia asked pleasantly, showing her two longer canines full of poison in a smile. Fortunately, this inhabitant of Hades' realm was not in a dispute with her, and it can be said that they had become close enough in the past few months to call each other friends, because Lamia was not a sycophant and certainly did not try to curry favor with anyone like Pain and Confusion.

"Imagine," Charon rejoiced, "Hades found my money bag, and there was even some gold in it, I had counted it exactly, that's what I call theft with interest, so I would invite you two beauties," the skeleton explained in a good mood.

Lamia also seemed in a surprisingly good mood, because she was usually rather grumpy, as she would be if Hera turned you into a monster as punishment, not that she didn't deserve it.

"Really? "That's great news that Hades is fighting crime down here, even though I didn't even know you lost it. I was up there making arrangements for our benefactor," Megara said innocently, knowing full well where the purse had gone and how the new coins had gotten there. Fortunately, before handing over the purse, she had kept a few just in case, so everyone was fine.

"It's not important how they got there, but the important thing is that they found each other. Well, and did you know that a brave man built a restaurant near the entrance to the underworld," Charon continued excitedly, and the three of them headed for his boat at the edge of the pier.

"Hasn't the Chimera eaten him yet?" Lamia wondered curiously. "I expected he wouldn't last long, although it would be a shame, he makes such good meat."

Charon shook his head and willingly helped the ladies into his ship. As soon as he pushed away from the shore and headed for one of the exits to the world of the living, he began to tell his story.

"He's a former hero who cleverly measured where the Chimera would spit fire and where she would jump. As you know, she's been chained up since that accident a month ago, poor thing."

That accident happened when a large eagle or something like that flew across the sky and the Chimera dived after it and wandered around for several days, terrorizing the area. This literally canceled the meating at which Megara was supposed to recruit candidates for Hades' services. Everyone ran away from her, or rather from the Chimera, and no one returned. The whole organization cost the lord of the underworld a lot of money and planning, not to mention his nerves, so he was rightfully very angry with the poor animal afterwards.

Soon the trio reached the surface peacefully.

"You can really just jump off for a snack?" Megara asked Charon in surprise.

"Yeah, I have permission from Hades himself, saying that there is a big rush of souls in a few days, so I will have to work overtime," the ferryman explained.

Lamia looked at the woman's bag, from which parchments were peeking out.

"This is going to be some crazy plan again, seriously, what's he doing?" she rolled her eyes and continued to crawl alongside the pair. Her scales glided smoothly over the dirt and stones, which Meg had to admire.

They walked as quietly as possible past the sleeping Chimera and out of the cave, where a new building with a sign appeared around the bend. On the way, they passed the colorful stones smoked with black ash, where the Chimera had spat.

There, behind the counter, a large, well-built man in an apron was serving, who had been a warrior yesterday, but today could boast of his culinary skills.

"Welcome, gentlemen. As usual?" asked the pair, who was definitely not here for the first time. Charon and Lamia nodded and sat down at a table outside in the shade of the canopy, that is, only the skeleton and Megara, since Lamia's body was not adapted to sitting on a chair.

"They have very good steaks and fish here, they put green spices, thyme and oregano in there. I'll have a rare steak with extra blood and Charon a grilled fish," Lamia explained what they would have.

"Do they have anything else besides meat and fish here? How about a salad with olives?" Megara asked, and the pair quickly looked at each other and indicated with subtle gestures that their host was not yet at that level. What the hero did best was meat, because meat gives you strength and throwing it on the fire was no art.

"Then I prefer fish like Charon," Meg grinned.

"But I think Bellerophontes will learn something here in a month, according to the cookbook, right, boy," the ferryman gave him hope.

"I'm currently at the letter B on page 12 and I've been learning how to bake Baklava since yesterday," the hero blushed slightly in embarrassment and timidly adjusted his apron, while Lamia looked at the muscles that rippled beneath it.

"I'll have anything served to me from you," she purred, the end of her tail shaking like a rattle, and accompanied him with a slightly dreamy look as he walked around the few other guests who had found his restaurant.

"And you, Meg? Are you going out to put up posters? "I'm glad to see Hades isn't giving you a hard time," Charon asked.

"Isn't it about the new recruit again?" Lamia added, still glancing at the hero greedily.

"Something like that. I just don't know where to go first," Megara glanced at the full bag beside her, and when she imagined how much was still in that room, it would take several trips, back and forth, before it would all be scattered.

"What to take to Athens? They're the closest to this entrance to the underworld. There's a big festival going on, something with flowers I guess, so a lot of people will read it, and it's a big city where you can put up as many posters as possible without having to travel a lot," Lamia suggested with a saintly smile.

"That wouldn't be bad," Megara suddenly realized, as if she had the best idea that came with those words. It was obvious that if she put it up somewhere near the temple, the priests of Athena would find out first, and then the goddess herself. She was the only one who might want to get involved, because the possessed soldiers, whom Ares had infected with a warlike fever, were her protégés. She had no doubt at all that the wise goddess would figure out what the two of them were planning together, and the text of the poster was quite telling.

"That sounds like a very good idea!" Megara smiled in a much more upbeat mood. Now at least she had hope.

Meanwhile, a large baked trout landed in front of her, smelling absolutely delicious.

"This is on the company's account. Since I borrowed your cart yesterday with permission, which you left here so quickly." But I returned it cleaned and with a fed donkey, he's resting in the back of the stable with my Luna, they obviously get along," Bellerofontés explained, pointing to Megara's cart, which was standing in the shade of the restaurant.

"I'll have to take him today, but I have no problem leaving him here for you to use, er... what's your name?" Megara thought, the name was so long that it kept slipping from her memory.

"Bellerofontés, miss," the former hero smiled respectfully and wiped his fingers on his apron.

"Well, if you agree, at least it will help both of us. I'll use him sometimes, because running errands for one unfriendly god is not exactly easy and you can use him as you please in the meantime, the donkey will at least have shelter and food," Meg sighed, because she didn't know where else to stable them both, the animal needed to eat and the cart could be stolen at any time in the forest steal and the donkey be eaten by wild animals.

“Everything will be perfectly fine here with me. I take excellent care of my things,” boasted Bellerophontes, showing everyone the tense muscles that were piled one on top of the other on his arm, “I can defend myself against anything.”

“Then why did you walk away from the promising work of a hero? Didn’t you want to be famous and revered?” asked Lamia, who was devouring his every word.

The man became a little uncertain this time and seemed ashamed as he said, “well… some things just didn’t work out the way my trainer had planned.”

“And who trained you, boy?” asked Charon with interest, who was enjoying his fish.

“Philoctetes.”

A hearty laugh rang out around the table.

“Then maybe it’s a good thing you became a chef and a restaurant owner, you wouldn’t have gotten very far with that goatman, remember what happened with Achilles and his heel,” Charon pointed out.

“And what about Jason and his Argonauts? They’re still at sea now, still searching for the Golden Fleece, and it’s been 30 years, poor things,” Lamia sneered, because you were also practicing Philoctetes.

“So it looks like you could have ended up a lot worse, Bellerophontes,” Megara pointed at him with her fork, and the man smiled a little.

“At least with all this, you have a proper job here and you’re not chasing castles in the air, stick to that.”

The innkeeper immediately ran to another customer with an apology on his lips.

"Hey, speaking of the goat, I heard he's training someone new on his island now, I think the name sounded like Hercules? Hemenex or Hermaphroditus, it must have started with an H," Lamia mused as she bit into her bloody meat and groaned in pleasure as the blood ran down her chin.

"If that's true, I really feel sorry for the hero," Charon muttered with his mouth full.

****************************************************************************************************

Megara bumped along the main road in her cart and finally, after half an hour, the walls of Athens were almost within reach. The streets were clean, the people polite and respectful, the exact opposite of crazy Thebes. This was the place to start a family, but Meg wasn't here to look for a husband. She had a mission.

She parked her donkey and headed out into the streets. She put up posters in strategic places in front of shops, canteens, barracks, offices, squares, schools and universities. In the afternoon she bought yogurt with cinnamon and continued on, until she had circled the entire populous metropolis. Finally she reached the Temple of Athena, which dominated the entire city with its height and imposing white statues.

The temple stood on a green hill and there were endless steps leading up to it. She climbed to the top and when she turned around, the whole city was in the palm of her hand, it was… beautiful. Such a contrast to the gloomy underworld that Hades ruled.

Megara sighed, caught her breath and stepped into the gardens with benches before she reached the doors of the main temple. Just to be safe, she had taped up the rest of the festival posters she had left, and her shoulder bag was empty. Tomorrow she would have to choose another city and return to the underworld for the night to sleep.

But before she left, she stepped directly into the temple. Her footsteps on the white marble floor inlaid with mother-of-pearl and blue stones were deafening, as if she had no business there.

She couldn’t just leave without relieving her conscience.

She reached the statue of Athena, who stood proudly and loftily, holding a spear in one hand and scales in the other. On her right shoulder sat the small owl of wisdom that was depicted with her and had its characteristic golden helmet with a plume on its head.

Meg closed her eyes, silently prayed and confided in her mind and indicated Hades' intentions. Once she had finished, she opened her eyes and for a short moment she was afraid that Hades would appear and kill her on the spot, but the large room was empty and silent, only the scent of pungent incense and myrrh stung her nose.

Megara pulled herself together and headed back up the steps into the city, she was almost at her cart when she passed a structure that resembled a dome painted with several provocative colors and symbols. Suddenly a man ran out of the entrance as if he had stolen something, but his gaze was filled with fear and panic, as if death itself was pursuing him.

Meg didn't see him in time, so he rammed her with his shoulder, knocking her to the ground in the dust, but even then he didn't stop and disappeared into the streets, the crowd turning after him.

"Wait, you fool, you didn't let me finish! It's your brother who's going to die, not you!" shouted a woman who appeared a moment behind him from that strange building that didn't seem to belong here because it was so eccentric.

"Oh, he hit you? I'm sorry, some people just can't face the truth," a woman with long red hair and a dark blue dress spoke to her with strong sarcasm, which was also a contrast to all the Athenians who were wearing white robes. They were clearly the only ones wearing anything colorful.

"Really?" Megara looked at her.

“Yes, I am the fortune teller Cassandra, haven’t you heard of me?”

“No, unfortunately,” Meg shook her head.

“Well, never mind,” the sorceress clicked her tongue gloomily, “I guess I’ll have to try harder. So welcome to my rented Fortune Telling House.” The stranger pointed to the sign behind her, then offered her a hand.

“And as I said, the truth isn’t for everyone, on the other hand, living in a delusional fantasy is probably the only way to survive the underworld on earth.”

The young woman was so ironic and in a way depressing that Meg liked it, they obviously had something in common. She grabbed the fortune teller’s hand and let herself be pulled to her feet.

At that moment, Cassandra froze like stone, her visage taking on a frightened expression, “By all the gods, turn around and hide me, there’s my husband Icarus. He's terribly annoying and absolutely adores me, but too much is too much," Meg forced herself to turn, and crouched behind her so she wouldn't be seen.

A relatively small man with black hair as if struck by lightning was nimbly pushing his way through the crowd, trying to catch a glimpse of someone in the signature dark blue peplos.

"Cassandra, my only love, where are you, my treasure?" he called out in all directions like a madman, and the woman behind her groaned.

"Is he gone?" she asked after a moment.

“Yeah, he’s gone,” Megara nodded, amused by the situation.

“Finally, Icarus is like a mosquito, constantly buzzing around your head and you can’t get rid of him,” Cassandra growled, grabbing Meg’s hand to turn her back to her.

When our heroine came face to face with the oracle, she noticed that she was wearing the same absent-minded grimace as before, except that her eyes were no longer following any figure behind her back, staring through her into another world.

“I see chaos,” Cassandra’s lips moved involuntarily, “I see a great Greek tragedy, men with weapons clashing in fierce battle, so many lives wasted. I see fields covered in blood, severed heads feasting on by scavengers. I see Hades' smiling face on the large statue, watching over it..."

Suddenly it all ended and Cassandra blinked as she woke up from her trance, her green eyes regaining their previous spark of life.

"I had a vision again? What was in it? Sorry, that sometimes happens when I touch someone, unfortunately it only works one way and I don't know what I said, and don't worry, I won't want to pay for it, you're not my customer," the witch quickly explained to her and pulled her hand away from Meg.

Megara was taken aback, finally she managed to get out: "you said there would be a fight, that there would be a lot of deaths..."

Cassandra just waved her hand at that, "not all of my visions come true, even though the success rate is 90% but you have to know that the future is still being created, so it may not be the final result."

"You really calmed me down," Megara looked sour.

"If something like that happens, I doubt you could stop it, you're not Helen of Troy, there are things in the world that just have to happen, that's how it is. What's your real name?"

"I'm Megara, but my friends call me Meg, if I had any, and I really don't have many."

"Then I'll be glad if you visit me here sometimes, the door to my oracle is always open to you, Meg," Cassandra smiled ironically but sincerely and waved to her as she turned and went back to her oracle.

*********************************************************************************************************

In the underworld, Hades had an esteemed and somewhat hot-blooded visitor from Olympus, the god of war Ares, at this very moment. He was probably holding the ruler of the underworld by the collar, figuratively speaking, to show his dominance.

"Do we understand, Hades? If the Athenian army is afflicted by some disease that prevents them from going on a campaign, I will know who is to blame and I will be very, very unhappy. YOU UNDERSTAND ME!" the god of war smiled unkindly and lifted Hades a little higher off the ground.

"Calm down, buddy, just calm down, I understand you completely, nothing annoys you as much as someone messing up your work and nothing like that will happen. I assure you," the lord of the underworld confirmed slightly choked.

"I'm glad," Ares frowned warningly and set Hades back on the ground.

"If this succeeds, many new souls will visit your empire. This will be the first of many wars, all of Greece will burn after the battle," the god of war boasted, obviously dangling the promise of profit in front of Hades' eyes like a rider holding a carrot in front of a donkey's mouth.

Due to his guest keeping him busy, Hades was unable to devote himself to observing his servants and thus overlooked what Megara was doing in the temple of Athena, which was her great happiness.

"Shall we see how the preparations are going?" Hades suggested to bridge the awkward violence, rubbing his bruised neck, while his hot-blooded guest walked over to the table in the middle of the hall, where the armies were set up in their positions. In Athens, several warrior figures had just appeared on the map, and only two other figures stood against them.

"That's not necessary yet, I have plenty of other work. By the way, why is your maid in Athens?" Ares asked suspiciously, pointing his finger at the figure of Magera, which had been made with all her nice curves.

"I sent her to check if Athena and her servants were aware of something," Hades lied, completely convincing in his nature, without having time to think.

Although, looking at the figure of Megara, he suspected that she was there for exactly the opposite reasons. However, looking at the powerful god of warriors, who was frowning at the map, he did not think to say this suspicion out loud, or rather did not dare. The explosive god of war would certainly not believe him and would most likely give him one and even mock him for having incompetent henchmen, which Hades' ego would not bear. He knew it, but he would not survive if someone said it to his face.

"Then let's start the preparations," Ares rubbed his hands and began to use his power to influence mortals. The Lord of the Dead decided not to interfere, just smirked and shook his head, while not observing the war preparations he watched the movements of his servants in the mirror with his hands behind his back.

****************************************************************************************************

Meg left Cassandra behind and set off across town to her donkey. Before she could leave town, Icarus mysteriously appeared from somewhere and began to march alongside her cart. The strange young man was holding one of their posters, which he must have torn off the wall, and he looked thoughtful, as was also suggested by his hair, which stuck out at all possible angles. Looking closely, when Meg noticed that unforgettable forelock, she would have guessed him to be some kind of official.

"Hmm, I see Hades is up to some treachery again," he said, interested, as his eyes squinted at the letters. It wasn't a question, but a simple statement of fact, which told her that he had already had an honorable encounter with the supposed lord of the underworld and knew him well enough to know that he wasn't exactly a god who wished everyone only good health and good fortune. So Meg just shrugged, as if she wasn't interested, but it was just a strategy to get the person in question to talk.

"You don't seem very happy about it," the young man remarked, giving the impression of a hyperactive person who couldn't stand still.

"Work is work," she ignored him completely as the cart slowly bumped its way down the street.

"I have a suggestion," Icarus said thoughtfully, tilting his head back and watching, as if at the horizon in the distance, where the sun was slowly sinking behind the walls.

Meg was silent, as if hoping that if she kept quiet the man would simply disappear, but he was still there and now she was beginning to guess what Cassandra meant, Ikarus was truly annoying as a flea and his voice was getting on her nerves.

"If," he raised a finger in the air, "you arrange for me to have lunch with my beloved Cassandra, I will disrupt the whole thing, no matter how much trouble there is," Meg suggested to Ikarus, suddenly looking less like a clerk and more like a hero. But the big guy and not the muscular hero, because his figure was more like a toothpick.

So he hadn't been fooled before, she thought, he had seen them and disappeared somewhere and was watching them from a distance.

The young man was really naive, Meg thought, but if it made him happy...

"Maybe we could come to an agreement. How do you plan to stop it? Do you have an army of cupids behind you who will shoot everyone with love arrows?" Megara asked ironically, and Icarus smiled calmly and shrugged like a child who has a secret. With an inconspicuous gesture, he embraced the warriors who were marching by.

Meg looked around and blinked, how come she hadn't noticed them?

"To commemorate the holidays," Icarus replied amused, and Meg couldn't think of any holiday that could stop the planned military campaign. Was he making it up? If he had any fixed idea, she left him alone.

"Well, if you manage to do that, I'll arrange lunch for you, with your wife," Megara agreed skeptically, since the chances were really zero.

"Great, we're agreed, me and my flower together at one table," he trilled dreamily, "just think of where we'll go for lunch, so many possibilities, so many..." Icarus beamed and turned on his heel as he headed briskly towards the harbor, which surprised Meg, since the town where Hades' festival was supposed to take place was exactly on the opposite side.

"A fool, and a poor one at that, when his own wife hates him," Meg rolled her eyes and urged the donkey forward.

*********************************************************************************************************

That day went down in history as the day when the battle for the fountain of youth did not take place. That day was a huge disappointment for both Hades and Ares, and yet everything looked so promising.

In the few days since, many stallholders, merchants and buyers have come to the town of Keratea from various corners for a great festival that should not have existed. The crowd was like brightly colored parrots, food and flower necklaces were distributed, patricians, nobles who had their tents on the hill and also sailors were paraded there. The place became the center of culture and trade.

On the other hand, the armed units of Athens, strengthened by the war fever, approached the village and, unnoticed by anyone, occupied all the strategic roads. The locals noticed them too late and the militia of the two cities quickly gathered to defend Keratea against the enemy. It must have been obvious to everyone at first glance that the volunteer members of the militia mostly did not have any armor, and those who did have it quickly put it on and stood in a group that was trembling terribly. The circle began to shrink and the tightly packed and perfectly aligned and iron-clad ranks of Athens marched against them. The defenders had no time to think of anything or build fortifications.

"Now you will see, you whore, what it means to insult the god of war!" Ares grinned enthusiastically, watching the map with bloodthirsty intentions.

Hades stood next to his "guest" and at the same time watched the mirror depicting what was actually happening in that village. The festival was in shambles, as everyone panicked and ran around, like headless chickens being chased by a butcher with a knife. The Greeks tried to hide somewhere, but the soldiers were everywhere, so the unfortunates found themselves in the eye of the hurricane.

"You will all be here in a while," Hades rubbed his hands, who didn't really care who died of a heart attack or who from a gun. The result would be the same. His smile widened, like a shark smelling fresh blood. He looked eagerly at the soul counter as the numbers began to spin at breakneck speed.

Both commanders, Salmoneus and Amaseus, gathered their retinues and decided on the only option, an attack. There was nothing left to do but stand there dumbly and stare.

The Athenian commander raised his hand to give the order to the archers. They raised their spears, swung their slings, and pulled their strings. Before he could lower his hand and give the signal to fire, everything went terribly wrong in a completely unexpected way.

The surroundings, where even the tinkling of a pin on a cobblestone could now be heard, were filled with the strumming of a harp and the sounds of a flute. Both were accompanied by a wonderful female singing with an almost supernatural intonation that would have made even the trees dance. The words and tones of the female voices were literally enchanting to the listeners. Even the two gods looked in the direction from which the singing was coming.

In a nearby pond stood three beautiful girls who did not look human, and next to them sat Icarus playing the lyre and next to him a satyr holding a flute.

All the men and even women who heard the singing dropped everything they were holding and walked towards the singers who were luring them towards him.

"Oh no, sirens!" Hades groaned and covered his ears as if it were a terrible inhuman roar that only a monster of gigantic proportions could utter. He evidently succeeded, otherwise he would have been enchanted. Ares, meanwhile, did what all the soldiers did. He reached the place where the singing was coming from. There he sat down and, with his mouth open until his saliva flowed to the ground, listened to the music until it stopped. All the mortals did the same, moving like brainless bodies to the pool. All the men literally drooled over this phenomenon as if they were dreaming in broad daylight, until their singing lulled them to sleep and they began to snore.

"How did those sea monsters get there?" Hades asked himself a rhetorical question that no one should answer. However, another ringing voice sounded behind him. Another honored guest had arrived in the underworld.

"What would you say, dear Hades?" Athena entered the room with all her superiority in her typical blue robes and smiled amusedly like a winner.

"Eh? WHAT? You have a hand in this?"

"I came to thank you for the prosperity you have ensured for my fiefdom," the goddess smiled at him pleasantly and friendly in exactly the way that annoyed Hades the most, because she played the smartest of all Olympus and that rightfully fired him up.

"I didn't do it on purpose!" the lord of the underworld defended himself, clenching his fists and starting to smolder.

"Oh, and you're so nice and modest," the goddess teased him, "I don't know you like that."

"HOW DARE YOU Tease and Insult ME SO MUCH IN MY OWN HOME!" Hades exploded in a way that would have made Ares, still asleep under the table, envy him.

"I'm not insulting you, I wouldn't dare, I respect the older gods. The people in that small village did such a good job, and besides, that statue depicts you so beautifully! Finally, you're getting the recognition you deserve," Athena beamed at him and laughed in clear insult.

"AND OUT! OUT OF MY UNDERWORLD!" Hades roared, causing even Ares to roll over onto his other side.

"Of course, my dear friend. I will not forget this favor, you have it with me," the laughing goddess winked at him and strode out of his realm, her little owl on her shoulder whistling.

Once the goddess was gone, the still-flaming lord of all the dead looked at the sleeping god of war, who was now useless to him.

"Confusion! Pain! Clear that homeless man out of the way immediately and kick him out of the entrance!" he ordered his servants, who were hiding behind one of the many columns in the council chamber. On command, both of them ran from their hiding place to the throne room and lifted the heavy god of war, although more than one curse was thrown at them.

"He is as heavy as a Calydonian boar," panted Confusion.

"That's more like the Krommyon pig," Pain added.

"Here, carry your share!"

"I'm doing it, right?" the devils who had something to do with the god of war argued. They carried him so heavily that his bottom almost touched the ground, making it look as if the god of war had grown two little legs.

Comments 

So the battle didn't actually happen, who would have thought it would? My original idea was that Hades would win at least once, but my friend had a different plan :D we'll see if he succeeds in the next adventure, but Catastrophe is still going on and will have an ending :D

The characters are slowly starting to come together and I really like Lamia, this character doesn't appear anywhere in the series or I didn't notice it, but she's one of the more normal ones BUT like everyone else she also has her grey areas :D after all she is described in mythology as eating human flesh, drinking blood and eating children, but don't worry, Lamia is a cultured monster and eats raw meat from a plate with cutlery :D

Chapter Text

Chapter 6.

Catastrophe Part 5.

Meg was walking down the hall to her room when she heard two familiar voices approaching.

She deliberately waited around the corner, and when Pain and Panic appeared, she scared them in such a way that they began to cower as if their master were standing over them and wanted to burn them to a cinder.

“Is that you?” the green devil wrinkled his long nose and jumped to his feet, while Pain screamed like a woman until Confusion hit him on the head.

“And who else could it be? Are you expecting company? There aren’t many other minions here,” she sneered.

“Don’t you know what happened a moment ago?” Pain’s eyes widened, straightening his bent back.

“No, I just came,” she pointed to the bag full of food she was carrying to the underworld, “I was shopping, otherwise I would have starved to death here, which is a pretty good analogy.”

“If you’d said so, we’d be happy to cook you something,” Pain grinned maliciously.

“Sorry guys, but worms and beetles aren’t something I’m going to eat anytime soon,” she stuck out her tongue, “and now what’s the news?”

The two of them looked around before they began whispering over each other.

“Ares was here, planning a battle with Hades.”

“That bastard was holding our master hostage.”

“And then when they were about to fight, BOOM!”

Megara blinked in confusion, “wait, those two got into a fight and Hades burned him?”

"But not you stupid one," Confusion waved his hands, "the sirens appeared in that village and started screaming, there was that guy with the weird hair with them, you know the one who had those wings and flew close to the sun, and then fuuuuuu fell on his head, that's why it's a bit..." he circled his finger near his head.

"What was his name..." Pain thought.

"Ichthys? Incubus?" Confusion tapped his nose.

"Icarus?" Megara suggested.

"You know him?!" they both yelled at once.

"Me? No, but I heard something in Thebes," she lied.

"So what happened next?" she pulled information from them.

"Everyone fell asleep, that's what happened, would you believe it? After such a hard day's work, when we have blisters on our feet and scuffed fingers, the whole plan is you know where."

“What the hell?” asked Pain.

“Exactly, and Hades is really angry right now. I wouldn’t go to him for at least a week, or else you could go calm him down.”

“Nice try, you two,” she laughed at them, “but forget it now, I don’t want to die before I have to.”

“You never know here,” laughed Pain.

“And I’m not going to climb into his bed either, let him warm himself up here, I have my own self-respect,” she emphatically rejected any of their persuasion.

“Well, then, we can agree together that we won’t climb into his eyes and disappear somewhere, what do you think? I know of a big festival where we won’t stand out,” jumped Confusion and the other devil clapped his hands enthusiastically.

“So you want to get out of here? Seriously?” Meg looked down at them, but she quickly got her priorities straight, because if they weren't here, who would bear the brunt of his wrath? She'd be the only one here, and that wasn't exactly a good choice.

"Well, it doesn't sound like a bad idea, now that I think about it," Megara quickly changed her mind.

"But how do you want to get there, it'll take days by cart, and by then his evil will start looking for us, and no, I'm definitely not going to let you drag me through the air, I'm not going to risk you letting me go and killing myself."

"Everyone, I've got something hidden here, just in case," Pain muttered, taking the time to search through his belongings until he found something.

A golden scale glinted in the hallway.

"What is that?" Meg asked curiously.

"It's a golden scale from a wish-granting goldfish."

"We have a few tricks up our sleeves too," Pain grinned and said the name of the village in question.

Confusion grabbed her hand and his brother's tail and at that moment the world spun with them and suddenly they were in the middle of a cheerful crowd.

Music was playing from somewhere, people were talking, laughing, this was such a difference from the depressing underground that Meg felt like she was in another world.

Pain hid the scale under his bacon again, "isn't it nice? Come have some fun."

But before they could take a step, the children clung to them.

"Yeeeeee demons from the underworld! Is that tail real? And what about the wings?" excited heads flashed over each other and little hands started pulling their noses, ears, wings and arms.

Pain and Panic were suddenly the center of attention and no one was afraid of them, they were more like a welcome attraction.

"Ugh, you lousy bastards, run away, aww! That was my leg!"

Meg's lips twitched, but she quietly slipped away to enjoy a moment of peace, somewhere where she could be a speck in the sea and unobserved. Everything was different here, the air smelled of food, flowers, and fragrant oils, music playing on two sides, a play going on over there, poems being recited in honor of Hades.

Skull-shaped and all-night lanterns and flower garlands hung everywhere.

It reminded Meg of a spring festival, as if there were no misfortune or sorrow, and no trace of the previous battle. She even thought she saw a soldier pass by here and there, joining in the festivities.

Megara passed the tents and stands to watch a makeshift performance that featured a new hero and his achievements. Actors in masks and costumes shouted their lines, and the hero fought valiantly with a fictional lion. It was interesting, and she smiled a few times when she noticed movement in the crowd of onlookers, or rather something or someone rudely pushed her aside.

It was one of the dark slaves who was carrying a golden litter, or rather he was supported by four muscular men in leopard skins.

Meg stumbled, and as she turned to give them a proper scolding, all the air suddenly left her lungs.

“I really didn’t expect you here, Megara,” the bittersweet words made her want to vomit.

“I can say the same, Adonis,” she looked anywhere but at the man who sat on the litter like the embodiment of masculinity. He was wearing a white robe girded with a blue sash and both upper ends fastened at the shoulder with a buckle so that all his muscles were on display. His yellow hair matched his tanned, flawless skin and a smile that would warm a glacier, but everything was marred by his stupidity and arrogance. The man she had once loved and sacrificed literally everything she had for him when he was dying, and then simply ran off with another woman, was here now, as if nothing had happened.

Meg swallowed her resentment, Adonis had broken her heart into a thousand pieces, all those sharp ends piercing her body like arrows. This was a man who didn't deserve her love, a man who only wanted attention and used it like everyone else, and now behind his stretcher were a crowd of crazed women who would die if he even looked at them. Could it be that she had once been that naive? She even felt sorry for them in that futile effort, because Adonis only loved himself.

“Why shouldn’t I be here, I’m where things are happening and this is the very center of the miracle. I’m here to bring a jug of that miraculous water to my father,” he raked his fingers through his hair.

“Good luck then,” she muttered and turned to leave, she didn’t want to talk to the man who was the equivalent of salt in a fresh wound anymore. And he would dare to address her after all that. He wasn’t ashamed.

The slaves put the golden litter down on the grass with a huff and he rushed out and grabbed her hand.

“What’s the hurry, Meg, love,” he cooed.

“You dare call me love?” she got angry and tore her hand away from him. She wouldn’t let someone like that control and use her anymore.

"You're still so beautiful, I can't stop thinking about you," he tilted his head to the side like a puppy with blue eyes and the group of women behind him sighed dreamily.

"But I forgot, actually wait, no, you can't forget that, you used me in every possible way," she frowned and felt her throat tighten, and tried to be angry rather than cry, she couldn't afford something like that, she had to be strong.

Adonis scratched the back of his neck, "yeah, I remember, but I had to, otherwise I wouldn't be here anymore, you know that," he came up with a fake apology, "and you wouldn't want this pretty face to leave so soon."

“And you ran away with another woman right after that, you had to do it too? I swore my love to you and in return I got empty promises,” she clenched her fingers into small fists.

“We can settle it, how about I buy you a glass of mead?”

Meg couldn’t believe her ears, the shameless idiot acted as if nothing had happened and just waved it all away. Any feelings didn’t matter to him, she was just one of many others, nothing special or worth noting, because behind the stretcher were a dozen more just like her.

“I have only one answer for you,” she used all her strength to smile, even though it was incredibly difficult and at that moment she stamped her heel on his leg as hard as she could.

Meanwhile, at the other end of the festival, Pain and Confusion had finally gotten rid of the group of children.

"You horrible bastards, you'll all end up in Tartarus with Thanatos!" Pain spat, stroking his poor tail, which hung limply in his fingers.

"Come and have something good to eat," Confusion dragged him to the stall next to the artist who was painting amphorae.

Both devils jumped onto the wooden chairs at the counter.

"Hey, they also have souvlaki and dolmades here, I'll definitely have the sulvaki, twice and quickly, I'm hungry as a hydra!" Confusion ordered himself, while Pain squinted at the list of delicacies.

"I like sweet," he patted his plump belly as if it were dough, "I want those balls in honey."

In a moment, both of them had full bowls, which they buried their heads in.

"Hmm, hey, this tastes amazing," they grunted over each other.

“This is somehow familiar to me, what’s inside?” Pain asked the cook, as he squinted at the chewed-up bun that had a sweet and sour taste.

“It’s a wild plant, the balls are stewed, and when they’re mixed with honey, they have this typical taste, I personally can eat them just like my customers,” the cook praised himself and Pain started coughing as if he was surprised.

“WHAT?” he kicked Zmatek, who also gulped.

“You’re putting wild plant in this? Where did you get it? After all, no one knows that we planted the only cure for Catastrophe on the other side of Mount Parnassus in the land of the giant Kolohnát!”

“What? What are you talking about? Wild plant grows everywhere here, the locals eat it regularly,” the cook shook his head.

“And damn, now we know what heals people so miraculously,” Zmatek responded.

“Who in all the Pleiades would have known that it was growing like a weed right here?”

“We probably shouldn’t tell the boss,” Pain stuffed two more dumplings into his mouth.

“I certainly won’t tell him,” Confusion muttered, licking his stained fingers.

While the two underworld demons were making fun of each other, their master was looking for company, and when he found out where his minions might be, he appeared at the most inopportune moment in the least welcome place.

Hades appeared in a cloud of smoke right in front of his great statue, where people had already brought so many gifts and offerings.

“Do you see, people? Who will join us today, the true lord of the underworld, the great and one and only Hades, has come to see his statue and now we can worship him in life size!” someone said, and before Hades could look around, he was surrounded by a crowd that was either throwing flowers at him or hanging whole chains of flower necklaces around his neck. Besides, even his statue had one…

“Flowers? I hate flowers!”

Hades was truly taken aback by the villagers’ reaction, he had never experienced anything like it before.

Why are they throwing flowers at me? You can't even kill a mouse with that? It would be more effective to throw almost anything else, right? Everyone here has at least a dagger or a spear. Or do they think I'm allergic to them? he wondered, but then it hit him. He remembered how cheesy Zeus celebrated his birthday, where it went similarly and Demeter let a shower of flowers fall on everyone.

Yeah, they're trying to worship me? Wait, WHAT?! He finally looked around, but by then he had so many chains of flowers around his neck that only his nose and sneezed were visible.

"Stop it, everyone. I hate flowers, I hate spring too! ENOUGH, EVERYONE! Whoever throws this at me again will lose their hand, okay?" Hades defended himself verbally, and to his surprise, they really stopped pelting him with plants. Instead, the crowd watched curiously and waited anxiously for what their guest would say.

"I... I prefer pebbles. Yes, white pebbles in the shape of a skull. Ideally, I'll still... Ouch! What did you think of stoning me!" he begins to get a little angry, because before he could finish his thought, stones of various sizes began to fall on him in an endless flood. True, he was lucky that there were only small ones, which he easily repelled with his magic shield, but still such an experience was not pleasant. Originally, when he came here, he wanted to burn the entire village, as revenge on Athena, but now he couldn't bring himself to do it. He hadn't felt that strange warm feeling that worship gave him for a long time. He didn't usually get this pastime, since he wasn't exactly a popular god. Most people prayed to him to spare them or to relieve them in their most difficult moment. Or, what pleased him most, out of fear that the person in question would be overtaken by some of his own illnesses, like the Catastrophe had recently. Now, of course, he was surrounded by a crowd that worshipped him unironically and of its own free will.

And why not. It would be good revenge on Athena, he thought.

"It won't work out like this, people! Don't throw those stones at me, but stack them around my statue," he pointed to the portrait behind him, while looking at it with an appraising eye. He looked like a hero on it. In the right pose with big muscles and an ornate toga. Of course, with a smile that was the only thorn in his side.

"It'll be okay, but he needs to work on that expression," he made a mental note and turned to the crowd, trying to act like an honored guest.

"Now I want to see the celebration you've organized for me, as if I wasn't here," he smiled surprisingly pleasantly at the crowd around him and walked away. The Greeks parted before him like the sea before Moses.

"I should find my servants, where can they be?" decided the lord of all the dead, as he walked between all those stalls. The truth was that he himself had no idea what he would do when he found them. He would simply choose one of the options that was offered.

Pain and Confusion were still stuffing themselves at the stall. The stallholder didn't chase them away because they were advertising him for free. After all, they looked like servants of Hades, so people wanted to eat at the stall, where they were stuffing themselves so much and the cook had his hands full and his pockets full of coins. He was even in such a good mood that he gave them both free food.

Both devils had their mouths and hands full, so they didn't notice their master coming up behind them.

Hades didn't even try to sneak. He couldn't have sneaked, there was a large crowd of worshippers behind him and men bowing to him.

Until the last moment, Confusion and Pain didn't suspect anything, until a cool shadow fell over them and the lord of the underworld leaned over and put his arm around their shoulders like an old acquaintance.

"Oh, who am I to stuff here, these are my loyal servants," he said sweetly, baring his pointed teeth, and his personal lackeys gulped.

"Welcome, boss. What, er... brought you to your own festival?" Confusion smiled slightly forcedly, sweat running down his forehead with nervousness.

"We thought you didn't come to the surface much," Pain suggested, hoping that it was just an illusion of their master who was coming after them, because the intangible illusion only transmitted the image and could not punish them.

"I thought I would make an exception and drop in among the mortals to see how you two were doing, and what honor you were doing to the underworld up here," with that he lifted them both by the scruff of their necks like two rabbits and straightened up. The poor devils rose into the air, flapping their legs.

"We'll be good, you wicked ones," Pain mumbled.

Hades turned to the crowd without explanation with a radiant smile.

"These are my two servants. You can throw hard dumplings," he announced to everyone around him as if it were an order.

Pain looked truly surprised and incomprehensible.

"Yes, I like dumplings, that's right," he agreed, slightly puzzled. However, Confusion, generally the smarter of the pair, was scared.

"But each of us can only have one signed by his name. Otherwise, it will bring him bad luck," he reacted immediately, because he thought that it would be a while before an ordinary person would write his name on a dumpling and they would be able to disappear unnoticed.

At that moment, Hades dropped them to the ground as if he had lost interest in them and headed away. The crowd thinned out a bit as people tried to get those dumplings from other stalls.

"Come on, we have to get out of here!" Confusion pulled his comrade by the hand, trying to find some place where they could hide from the flood of dumplings that would inevitably come in a moment.

"But what about the dumplings?!" Pain defended himself, who still didn't understand what their master had prepared for them and saw only food before his eyes.

"Move or they'll stuff them down your throat!"

*************************************************************************************************************

Meg stomped on Adonis's foot with gusto at the theater performance, and although he looked like a brave handsome hero, he screamed in pain like a little girl, grabbed his injured leg and started jumping around ridiculously in place.

Everything somehow turned in Megara's favor, she didn't feel like crying anymore, she even started having fun watching her former lover hop on one leg and moan.

Finally, Adonis fell back on his ass into the stretcher, where he began to rub his leg, hopefully with some broken toe.

"You'll pay for this!" he finally hissed furiously, his handsome face contorted in rage.

"Not only did you reject me, you also hurt me! Such a disgrace here in front of everyone!" he said warningly, as if he were sending all the lightning from the sky at her.

"And what are you going to do to me, prince? Will you make me recite poems to you as punishment? Fan you? Or do you want to kill me yourself?" Meg said smugly, forgetting his black slaves and the crowd of girls who were now literally looking with hatred at the woman in front of them who had injured their idol.

"Me? No, I would still ruin my skin, or my nails," he frowned and then waved his hand behind him. "Beat her!" Adonis' finger then stabbed Meg accusingly and it was hard to tell if he was commanding the slaves or the crowd of girls, most likely both.

The girls moved like harpies and therefore were the first to pounce on Megara. However, at that moment the second part of the contract that Meg had with Hades was manifested. It clearly stated that no mortal person was allowed to attack and harm her. A horde of ghostly dead warriors in translucent armor materialized before Meg.

"Runnnn Mortals!" the wraiths shouted and rushed towards the crowd of girls and the stretcher. Megara, surprised, witnessed a group of dead guards disperse the crowd, who fled in terror.

The wraiths were clearly not trying to catch the girls, but only to scare and chase them away. Above all the confusion, the top of the stretcher bounced as Adonis urged his slaves to carry him somewhere safe.

"Hmm, so Hades didn't break that part of the deal," Meg mused out loud, thinking, since that meant that the rest of the arrangement might be fair too.

In fact, she had now quite possibly escaped certain death.

"I will never break a deal I made, rules are rules," Hades declared calmly, as all this confusion led him inevitably to his last adorable servant. She turned to her slave master, looking surprised to see him standing there, walking among the others, after all that his plan had failed.

Hades seemed in a pretty good mood. That is, to the fact that the sun was shining and everyone around him was happy. True, he had gotten himself sunglasses and a parasol, which he had slung over his shoulder, but otherwise he looked content. He had even gotten himself a drink and was sipping it through a straw.

"But that still doesn't mean you're going to keep it, does it?" she said, slightly suspiciously and perhaps even aggressively, as if she was blaming him. "I still remember how you tricked me into extending it."

Hades only shrugged his broad shoulders in response.

"Every contract has its limits and rules, and even someone like me has to abide by them, but that doesn't mean I can't adjust the content, and without me, you'd be stiff, Catastrophe is a fatal disease," he sipped his drink, "so you should thank me, nutmeg."

"What are you doing here anyway?" Meg sighed, not intending to revisit the embarrassing past of licking his fingers.

"I dropped by to see how my most loyal servants were having fun, without me," Hades said in a conversational tone.

"Okay, okay," he waved his hand when he saw her doubtful expression, "I was sad. You fled to the surface and left me alone in my mournful realm." Hades feigned sadness and even shed a fake tear.

“Well, something tells me I should go back to the underworld. I’m too busy and I’m expecting a visit from a nice goddess. No, like you three slackers…”

Meg cleared her throat again doubtfully.

“The only goddess I’ve heard of who would like to visit you is Hecate, and it’s definitely not a nice visit, because she would take away your throne over the underworld.”

Hades snorted and widened his eyes, “Where did you hear that?”

“A couple of minions talk a lot,” she shrugged.

“Hecate’s not exactly my fan of the year, but there are gods who have the courage to come to the underworld,” Hades defended himself, not wanting to lose face.

“So I can count Ares, Athena, Hecate, and Hermes, did I leave anyone out?”

“How about turning the page, eh?” he threw away his drink because he had lost interest in it, as if his appetite had passed him by, he evidently did not want to discuss his privacy.

"Why doesn't the great Hades want to go among people anyway? It wouldn't kill you to stay among the worshippers for a while," Meg looked around at the cheerful faces.

“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m allergic to mortals,” he scratched his hands as if he had a rash, which made Megara laugh.

“Then why go somewhere to the side, if it’s only people you’re bothered by,” she said in a light tone peppered with irony, and she walked down the hill to a small lookout with a bench.

“It’s not just that you trip over everyone on the surface, it’s also the fresh air,” he stuck out his tongue in disgust, “and the sun too, I have to take care of my pale skin.”

Now Megara laughed sincerely, and they both sat down on a stone bench.

“It’s so beautiful here,” she breathed, letting the sun warm her until Hades sat down and covered her with his parasol.

“What’s so wonderful about grass,” he rolled his eyes, evidently pointing out that grass was the most boring thing in the world.

“Like the fact that it’s green, tell me, for example, what’s colorful in the underworld? It’s gloomy, quiet, and, excuse me, pitiful.”

“Gloomy?” he spat out the word, burning a hole in the parasol with his hair, “well, maybe it lacks color, but it has its charm.”

“By the God of all the dead, yes,” she admitted with a grin.

“I didn’t have much choice when the parties were divided,” he blushed as if he’d just been pricked with a hot needle, he was really touchy about this subject, but the truth is.

“Don’t worry, when it comes down to it, you could have ended up a lot worse, what you have is one of the greatest realms, Hades. Can’t you see that?”

The God of the Dead slowly turned his head towards her and raised his right eyebrow, “For example?”

“You could have ended up as the god of spring and harvest,” she began to smirk, imagining him in a green robe and with flowers instead of hair.

At that moment, the parasol burned to ashes.

“I forbid you to imagine that, ugh, a greater misfortune could not befall me, in fact it could, there are another dozen completely useless gods like Bacchus or Cupid, what is the god of love for, people don’t need love, they need to live and die, that’s all,” he threw the destroyed parasol somewhere behind him and grinned when the sun began to shine on it.

“Love is beautiful and uplifting,” she exhaled, but it was as if she had run out of breath.

“Really? Is that what someone who got burned so badly says?” Hades rolled his eyes and began to shake his head in confusion.

Meg opened her mouth, but no counterargument came to her mind, as a child she had heard stories of sublime love, as a girl she had fallen in love several times and had her heart broken each time, and as a woman she had sacrificed more than enough for love, without getting anything in return. If she had anything to say about love, it was that it hurt like the thorns that had wrapped around her heart.

Hades was silent, evidently waiting for her words, but she had nothing to offer, her sad gaze sliding from the sea in the distance to the grass beneath her feet.

“That’s what I thought,” Hades snorted and exhaled through his nose.

“It doesn’t mean that just because I haven’t found pure, selfless love, it doesn’t exist,” she looked up at him, and there was no emotion in that face, only those yellow eyes watching her intently and assessing her.

They were both pulled out of their honest conversation by the sound of someone vomiting behind one of the tents and obviously overdrinking.

"Well, I definitely wouldn't look for her here, but remember one thing, if anything exists, it's death and eventually everyone will end up down there with me, in love or not," he grinned in amusement, because he loved this dark humor and he also liked the effect it had on others.

"Nice prospect for the future," Meg returned to her ironic self, "eh, didn't you say you had a nice visitor, Hades?"

"Yeah, I almost forgot," he looked at the small sundial on his wrist, "work calls and I'm a very busy god while someone else is going to be squatting here watching the water in the distance, completely aimless."

Megara grinned and stared off into the distance, where the waves shimmered and lapped over each other in a beautiful symphony. It was the first time she had seen the sea and she wasn't going to let anyone take that away from her.

She didn't even notice Hades get up from the bench, "I'll send for you when I need anything, in the meantime, take care of those two bums," Meg informed condescendingly and vanished into smoke.

Meg waved her hand around to clear the smoke when she heard something like a drumming sound coming from afar, fast approaching. Confusion and Pain ran past, as if on fire at their heels. Both carried a large shield, behind which they took cover from the people who were throwing hard dumplings at them, probably from the previous day, which were drumming against the shield.

"They said one dumpling per person!" Confusion wailed as he ran past Meg.

Megara leaned back and made no effort to help, or rather to save, because she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

The something was a black lily that lay where Hades had sat before.

Comments

I would like to hear your honest review, whether it's positive or negative, I'll take every suggestion, lesson and idea with a grain of salt.

And we'll also wish Hades and his party more luck, although, he takes it seriously quite sporty, what do you say? He never gives up on his goals, sure, he's had hundreds of years to do it, but who wouldn't still be annoyed by it? And we don't even have Hercules there yet, who will be driving him crazy :D But soon :D

The next part will deal with dreams, both good and bad, are you curious about what Meg dreams about and what nightmares Hades has? I will tell you that what they see at the beginning will not be the same as what they dream at the end :D

Many of you are also wondering what the black lily at the end means. Well, you can speculate like Megara, the flower can have several meanings.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7.

Sweet Dreams Part 1.

The night meeting seems to be ending on Olympus, and everyone seems to be parting ways, as if a pajama party where all secrets are hidden had ended. Now the others at least had hope that Morpheus would make an effort to make amends and put everything in order, as Zeus had threatened him.

Hades also turned to leave and headed from the meeting of the gods to the golden gate, which was supposed to warn mortals against entering, that is, if anyone dared to come, the last time Prometheus did so, who stole fire and gave it to people, and that was a while ago.

The lord of the underworld tilted his head so that the end of his spider-shaped sleeping cap would not obstruct his view, as he looked thoughtful.

The fact that he was paying attention the whole time did not mean that he was tired.

"So... the whole colossal problem with dreams should be solved by the day after tomorrow at the latest, if Morpheus works on it, which I would advise him to do, otherwise he will lose his place and Papa Zeus will kick him off Olympus. But that's still plenty of time for the number of undead to improve. Sleepy people don't pay attention to the road, and so the number of small but major accidents increases," he rubbed his hands contentedly.

as he did so, he passed Artemis and Hera, crawling around him like soulless bodies. Normally, he would have been pleased to see Zeus' beautiful wife, but in this particular case, the scene reminded him of his own subjects, who were looking up to him for help. The thought completely spoiled the good mood he had begun to have at the meeting.

He could throw sticks under Morpheus' feet and delay everything, he could have him eliminated and Fantasos in his place BUT…

“Well, yeah, but two more nights of sleeplessness and I’ll have a revolution or, at best, an uprising on my neck. What about that?” he rubbed his prominent chin in a thoughtful gesture, stopping as he did so. A plan was born in his head that might work. Instead of heading to the underworld, he headed in a curve to Hephaestus’s forge, from which he could already hear the familiar clanking in the distance.

He found the god of blacksmithing and crafts in his furnace, where he was furiously hammering metal with a hammer, sparks flying from it. Surely he was only working so he wouldn’t have to sleep or to avoid Aphrodite, who had a sour face at the meeting.

The blacksmith could see that he was also troubled by nightmares, like everyone else, but his unpleasant expression was not really visible behind his lush beard. He therefore tried to occupy himself by pounding on metal, trying to create at least something productive.

"Greetings, Hephaestus, my friend," Hades added with a grin, "how are you on such a fine night?"

The lord of the underworld inquired politely, as if he were just on a curious walk, albeit in his night clothes. However, his helpful courtesy ran into a wall of the impolite and ill-tempered god.

"What do you want, Hades?" Hephaestus growled grumpily.

"You've never been one for long talks, have you? I came to collect a small trifle that you have with you. The Cup of Disgust, if you still have it, and I believe you do," Hades explained the reason for his unexpected visit. The divine blacksmith looked up from the hot furnace that was shining in his face and frowned at the lord of all the dead.

"Yes, I have. Of course, if I'm not mistaken, we didn't agree on what you would give me for it last time," Hephaestus underlined his words with a hiss as he pushed the molten and cracked sheet into the water. Suddenly, there was a lot of steam around, turning into clouds.

"Yeah, well, that's true. Zeus beat me to it and betrothed you, and then all those congratulations, cake, promises, crowds of congratulations..." the lord of the underworld defended himself grimly, when his brother promised the only beautiful free goddess in the world to such a brazen man who stood before him.

"Excuses," Hephaestus answered harshly, without looking at him.

"Okay, let's leave the past behind us. I have a better offer that you will definitely not refuse. I will ensure that you sleep peacefully today and tomorrow," Hades suggested what the blacksmith needed most right now.

"I KNEW YOU WERE INTO THIS!" Hephaestus grabbed his massive hammer and walked towards Hades. The latter began to back away quickly with his hands raised and hurriedly explained.

"No, that's a misunderstanding! I just know that the cup can suck up disgust. So with a little help, it could suck out the disgust and fear of a nightmare," the god of the underworld argued, and the blacksmith lowered his hammer a few steps in front of him. He was obviously considering this option, then suddenly, after a few long moments, he waved his hand and threw the hammer over his shoulder.

"You really can do it?" Hephaestus asked uncertainly, with strong distrust.

"With a little help, sure," Hades assured him, although in reality he wasn't so sure. Someone just had to be the guinea pig, right?

The divine blacksmith turned around heavily and walked to his chest, from which he took another chest out into the light of the furnace, from which he took out a relatively nice but inconspicuous-looking cup and handed it to Hades.

"Perform the miracle," he commanded, sitting down on a leather bunk that stood to the side.

"Watch the god at work and learn," Hades said melodramatically, waving his hand with the cup at Hephaestus. An unhealthy green vapor escaped from the cup, which materialized above the object in the form of a tiny droplet, which Hades caught in the cup.

"That would be it. Sweet dreams, strong man," the lord of the underworld said goodbye to the divine blacksmith, who had knocked out his sleeping robe. Particles of sleeping dust from Morpheus' cloak surrounded Hephaestus like a swarm of bees, and at that moment the husband of Aphrodite fell onto his bed with his eyes closed and, if possible, a satisfied smile on his lips under his lush beard.

*************************************************************************************************************

The next morning, all the servants of Hades gathered again, but this time there was a significant change, because the lord of the underworld had summoned him personally and not his disgruntled servants. He sent an invitation to everyone, so many set off for the palace in the dark, because they couldn't sleep anyway.

Hades sat contentedly on his stone throne, holding the cup of disgust in his left hand.

He waited patiently until most of his servants had gathered before he began his speech.

"Are all the important people here?" asked Zmatka, who was leaning on the side of the marble slab that formed the side of the throne, and he nodded with interest.

"Yes, your evils," the green imp croaked sycophantically.

"And aren't there a few of them? Last time there were more," Hades leaned towards him.

"Er, maybe the others fell asleep on the way?" Zmatek offered and shrugged.

"Well, what can be done," the lord of the underworld pursed his lips and proudly stood up to face the crowd.

"Well, since you're all here, we can begin," Hades said slightly incensed, looking his subjects from one side to the other and back again. It must be said that most of them looked much better than yesterday, since almost six hours of sleep was enough for most beings inhabiting the underworld to sleep, albeit poorly.

"I wanted to discuss two things and no, it's not bonuses or salary increases, yes, I'm looking at you, officials. The first and most important thing on the agenda is that for some reason it has been said that nightmares don't dare enter my room."

The Lord of the Underworld looked sternly at all his subjects and Pain quickly hid behind a pillar as if he knew something about it.

"So I don't know who is spreading such gossip, but from now on, with the exception of the named exceptions, anyone else is forbidden to sleep in my own bedroom! The last time I woke up, there was nowhere to move on the floor so as not to step on someone's foot, hand, wing or tail! My room is not a dormitory! DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND?!" he shouted angrily, as half the Underworld had literally moved into his private rooms in a few days.

A murmur of disapproval echoed through the hall, but no one dared to step forward and face Hades' wrath. Only Pain, from behind the pillar, dared to say something that could be half flattery and half reproach.

"But your wickedness, those who slept there really didn't have any nightmares, your perfection must have driven them away with its divine presence," with that, Confusion immediately hid behind Megara in case his hot-tempered master wanted to send a fireball in his direction.

"That's definitely not it. It was just a coincidence, a simple fact, no one can have bad dreams, right? But now your worries are over for good, because I, your gracious and caring ruler, have provided you with this small solution to your problem," he pointed to the cup in his hand and enjoyed the puzzled expressions of the others present.

"This is the Cup of Disgust, as someone once called it, but you don't need to be interested in the history, it is an artifact forged by Hephaestus and with my help we will fill it with every disgust, disgust and fear that is found in its vicinity. Let's say, for those of you who don't have imagination as a medicine that pulls a fever out of a sick body," he introduced the miracle to his subjects.

"Originally, if you take it around and around it was intended to be used to assassinate Zeus," he grinned, "but that's not the point. Now, using my ancient power, I will pull all the disgusting disgust, resentment and disgust from your dreams and allow you to sleep in peace, and don't look so shocked, I don't mean eternal sleep, what would I get from that? Well, now applause, am I not great?" he suggested in a clear signal and Pain and Confusion behind his back raised signs for the servants to start clapping.

"What a disappointment, I expected more enthusiasm. Now everyone in line, everyone will get their turn," all with the importance of a king beckoning to pagans, he went around everyone in the hall until the cup was almost overflowing.

"Today you will all sleep like dead babies," he grinned, pulling one of his officials by the cheek so that the skin now hung down before he pulled it back up again.

"And now you can all disperse except you and you," he pointed a finger at his two faithful servants.

The gathering dispersed, everyone either looking suspicious or grimacing in disbelief. Not that anyone didn't trust their master, he was a god, of course, but he wasn't exactly known for keeping his promises and commitments unless they were bound by some infernal pact.

Lamia began to squirm forward, with Megara right behind her.

"Is this really going to help us?" she pointed with the tip of her claw at the cup from which a disgusting green mist was pouring.

"I would do anything to sleep peacefully, at least for a few days," she hissed grumpily, and on closer inspection, small, unhappy wrinkles were visible around her eyes.

“I’d be careful with those deals, Lamia, or I’ll take you at your word,” laughed Hades, who was extremely confident in his trick, even the blue flame on his head was a bright neon blue.

“If I don’t sleep, someone will take it away,” she swatted her tail loudly on the floor and crawled away.

“Such a delicate flower,” Hades’ face contorted, “I should probably be careful with her.”

“It’s in your own best interest that your new trick works, or else the others will probably cut you into pieces and I’ll join them,” Meg raised her eyebrows doubtfully, her still-sleepy eyes sliding to the cup.

Hades squinted at the dark, shiny contents that looked like an oil slick.

“It will work, or else I’ll personally forgive you a year of your contract, my nutmeg.”

"I don't believe you, but if you're so sure of yourself, go for it," she boldly extended her arm to him before he could change his mind.

"I'm supposed to do this, but whatever, it worked with Hephaestus, and if it works on a god, it'll work on mortals," Hades grinned confidently, and he too reached out and took the delicate woman in his large palm. He could literally feel the life flowing through him, how warm her skin was, kissed by the sun, and he remembered that strangely warm feeling when she lay in his bed. All he had to do was reach out, touch, and pull her close. Not that he'd slept badly before, but he could certainly imagine it could have been much better.

An electric crackle came from their shared embrace, a confirmation of commitment. The Lord of the Dead held the woman's hand longer than necessary, as if he wanted to steal some of the life-giving warmth and bask in it for a moment longer before Meg pulled away. She evidently hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary.

"What about this? Are you going to pour it into the River Styx or is it some kind of poison?" she asked curiously.

"Would you like to taste it?" he pushed the cup to her face, and the unpleasant, bitter, acrid smell made her hair stand on end.

"Oh, God, what exactly is this?" she held her nose and backed away, afraid he would spill the liquid on her.

"It's disgust, actually it's all the things that disgust you, that suck the nightmares out of you, it's a kind of medicine, I would say."

"So... you took all my dislike of men? All my skepticism about the future? You're exaggerating a bit, there's a reason why I'm allergic to men, it's my armor, how am I supposed to move up there now if I'm not careful and I'm going to run into every idiot with muscles?" she reproached him, until Hades's chin almost fell off.

"Sorry, but WHAT?" he stared at her in shock. "Oh, I was expecting more like thanks, a kiss on the hand, a bow, an ovation and things like that, are you okay?" he looked at her as if she was crazy.

"No, I'm not crazy. And I mean you can't just take away someone's emotion. It can have terrible consequences," she lamented.

"But please, no one wants a grudge and no one likes sour faces," Hades began to make a face.

“Every feeling and quality makes you you, someone unique, exceptional, for example, if you weren’t careful, you could fall off a cliff and break your legs,” she gave an example.

“It’s not so bad, we take good care of the dead here, they have all the services here, and they don’t have to pay for the whipping,” he argued eloquently.

Meg rolled her eyes at that, eloquently enough for him to know that the two of them disagreed on the same point.

"Okay, but remember," she pointed at him with a finger that she stabbed into the middle of his chest, "nothing good will come of this, remember my words."

Hades simply waved it away as if a fly was sitting on his shoulder, "you'll thank me later," he winked at Meg, smirked and wiped his palm on his toga, because he could still feel the electrifying energy on his fingers.

"How about you go and sleep somewhere, you really need that sleep, it's like you're growing old before my eyes, actually, that's what mortals do," he laughed at his own joke and stopped paying attention to the angry Megara.

"So where are you, Confusion, Pain!"

"Yes, sir?" Two heads appeared next to Hades like two insecure children waiting for a slap.

“Here, mix this with some cheap wine, cork it in an amphora and write some nice dedication on it,” he forced the cup into Zmatek’s hands. The said devil sniffed the green concoction and almost threw up.

“And who are we supposed to bring such a gift to?”

“We won’t waste such good material, take it to Hekate, with a little luck it will poison her.”

The two of them looked at each other, “your wickedness, is this a wise idea? Aren’t you afraid that she will come here?” Pain was tongue-tied.

"No, because the message, it won't be from me, but from Morpheus, you must have some imagination, boys, write there that he sends her a dreamless sleep for a good night's sleep, and that he feels some kind of deadly feelings for her. Write a poem there, add a box of chocolates, I don't know, but try not to mention my name there, OK?"

"OK, boss," both devils began to nod enthusiastically as soon as they understood the whole cunning plan.

"This will get back at you," Meg did not forgive herself in the clear pose of a silent angry woman who has had her grudge stolen.

"You're repeating yourself, dear, you know what? Let your ruler work, okay? And if you listened carefully, neither of them would know where the gift came from."

"If she's not stupid, she'll figure it out, women have brains too and we know how to use them."

"I didn't even notice," he grinned as if he wanted to annoy her on purpose, which he succeeded in doing.

"Actually, I have such a perfect job for you, Meg, something that will certainly occupy your bright head," at that moment a broom appeared in the hands of the assistant in question. "My bedroom needs a feminine touch, the last time it was mud, needles, dust and quite possibly even bristles and a few scales, when someone turned my room into a dormitory and while you're at it, you might as well change the sheets, I have the impression that it's drooled over, someone must have been chewing on one corner in their sleep," he looked at Pain, who looked as innocent as an angel.

Hades expected Meg to explode, he even looked forward to her scream a little, but she just stared at him with a piercing gaze before leaving without a word without that typical swaying of her hips, she was too tired for that.

“No excuses?” Hades wondered and shrugged, “maybe he’s getting used to taking orders.”

Meanwhile, Confusion carried the full cup of resentment so that nothing would drip on him. Neither of them had any idea what would happen and whether the liquid wouldn’t burn a hole in their bodies like corrosive acid.

“Carry it carefully,” Pain opened the door in front of his brother’s outstretched hands.

“And what if you carried it?”

“Hades didn’t give it to me, he was probably afraid I’d spill it.”

“You’d be pissed off, like the time you carried lava in that bowl,” Confusion rolled his eyes.

“It wasn’t my idea that someone wanted an aquarium here that no one else had.”

“Hades probably didn’t realize that fish wouldn’t survive in lava.”

“No, you better get me an amphora, there’ll be a dozen of them in the pantry,” the two devils said, walking past the kitchen, where they placed the cup on the wooden table.

Before Confusion could check Pain, a sound came from behind him, telling him that what he was holding was now on the ground.

“No, get another one!”

A few moments later, they poured the contents of the cup into a regular ceramic amphora and topped it up with wine from another amphora in the pantry. Confusion corked the container and shook it before pressing his long ear to it.

Nothing was heard, in fact he almost thought the clay would melt and the toxic contents would spill out onto his feet.

“So where is the paper, we need to put a note on it and…what are you doing?”

Pain was rolling on the ground like a pink pig and literally sucking up the rest of the wine as if his lips were glued to the neck of the bottle.

“Give it here,” the green devil grabbed the amphora and sniffed it. The smell was sweet and delicious. He quickly looked from one side to the other before taking a drink too.

“How about we make another one, eh?” Pain fluttered his small wings that probably couldn’t even carry him and he reached for the next one in line and uncorked it.

The two of them hunched over considerably before sitting down to the scroll.

“So what should I write in there?” Confusion pondered.

“The boss said a poem…”

“We’d have to find a poet first, and there’s no time for that.”

“So tell me, what would Morpheus write to someone like Hecate?” Confusion wondered as he tapped the tip of his pen on the paper.

“For example: Your hair is like the blackest night (hiccup), your eyes are like the deepest wells of bottomless nothingness (hiccup),” Pain dictated.

“That would work, it fits her nature, you know how terrifying she is. What next?”

“Hmm… my heart aches with longing for you, goddess of the night. I’ve been dreaming about you for so long, (hiccup).”

“That’s good, Morpheus is the god of sleep, that’s perfect,” Confusion said, snatching the amphora from Pain’s hands to drink himself.

“And now for the conclusion. How about: Accept this gift from me, with respect, Morpheus.”

"That sounds stupid, Confusion (hiccup), it's supposed to be romantic, write it with love. Isn't that what every lover writes?"

The two of them argued and laughed at various passages and made-up excerpts as they took turns drinking, until they finally fell asleep where they were, one leaning against the table and the other sprawled on the floor.

Meg cleaned and swept Hades' entire bedroom until no one would know that a regiment of monsters had spent the night there, and was about to put the broom back in the bin when she heard loud, familiar snoring.

She quietly opened the door to the pantry and found Pain and Confusion snoring between the shelves. Megara grinned, cleaned up the broom, and was about to shout to wake them up, when she changed her mind and instead crept over to the table, which was littered with various pieces of paper with excerpts, where there was a lot of cross-writing.

She read all the thoughts that the two had, and if she hadn't been tired, she would have laughed the whole time. The two had no idea of ​​any love or feelings, it looked like a child had written it. Finally, she got her hands on the last final scroll, which had a few grammatical errors, but whatever. At that moment, she thought of how to punish Hades appropriately.

She quickly took a new scroll and started writing herself, keeping some passages and adding and embellishing others, but in the end, where Morpheus's name should have been, she of course swapped it with someone else, who she suspected would surely have a lot of fun with.

She let the scroll dry, then rolled it up, tied it with a black ribbon, and quietly left the room again.

*************************************************************************************************************

Hades meanwhile invited Morpheus for a drink or rather a rug to clarify certain things, because it could also happen that at the next meeting it could be Hades, under whom the god of sleep falls, who could bring it up.

"You know, my friend. I must say that you really worry me, a lot of worry," the lord of the dead said in an understanding voice, to which the other stocky god only yawned slightly, as if the conversation bored him.

"And why?" Morpheus wondered, surprised by the unexpected interest of the god of the underworld.

"Because..." Hades took a calm breath. "BECAUSE MY EMPIRE IS COLLAPSING UNDER MY NIGHTMARES!!" he roared at the top of his lungs, wondering why he didn't set the entire room on fire with his fire. The other god, surprised by the force of the volcano's eruption, overturned the chaise lounge he was lounging on and now cowardly took cover behind it as if it were a shield from Hades' wrath.

"Do you have any explanation for that?" the lord of the dead narrowed his eyes into small slits, until he looked like a terrifying gargoyle who would take his soul if he didn't choose the right answer.

"Well... but... but, I'm really not to blame for that," the god of dreams defended himself carefully so as not to burn like paper and so only his nose and fingers peeked out from behind the chaise lounge. After all, various things were said about Hades, and most of them were not nice.

"Really?" the lord of the underworld gritted his shark teeth and gestured for the other god to defend himself, who carefully raised his head up like an earthworm from the dirt.

"Yes, I told Zeus. You were there. I do my job, as always. Conscientiously. I haven't had a single complaint in centuries. I don't understand why everyone has these terrible nightmares, and why Zeus blames me," Morpheus sounded desperate and the dignity he always walked with was there.

Hades began to smolder again at the mention of the name of the ruler of the gods, but then he calmed down. He realized that Morpheus was now just as displeased as he was, which he knew very well and knew what rejection tasted like.

"Ah," he finally said thoughtfully, walking over to the chaise longue, dark smoke swirling at his feet and creating a stifling, intimidating aura around him. To the surprise of the god of sleep, he reached out his claw-like hand and helped him to his feet, even returning the chaise longue to its original position.

"I understand your difficulties," Hades said thoughtfully, his lasso regaining its soothing blue hue. He motioned for his guest to sit down again, and himself moved to his armchair with its black leather upholstery and human skull armrests. The table between them was empty, as it was an open secret that no god would ever visit Hades for the simple reason that he would not be cursed to remain in the underworld permanently.

"Thank you, you are the only one who understands. You and my brother, then," Morpheus sighed with a heavy head, and Hades suddenly looked much more thoughtful than before.

"Your brother? You mean that skinny, unhealthy-looking shrimp?" the lord of the underworld asked promptly, remembering Phantasos's sly expression at the last meeting of the gods. He then remembered the vile nature of that god, which they both somehow had in common, even though Hades was better in every way and also had more power.

"I have a plan," he suddenly decided, "we'll throw a little party, invite him to... What's it supposed to be?" Hades' thoughts were interrupted by Lamia, who undulated into the room without any announcement and sat down impudently right on Hades' lap. He was so surprised that for a few seconds he was speechless and even lost his magic flame, as if a giant had blown it out.

Lamia took advantage of this and smiled at Morpheus like a cheerful schoolgirl.

"Dear friend, could you excuse us?" she blew him a kiss, gaining the exclusive attention of both gods.

Morpheus was as flustered by the whole scene as Hades and began to feel uncomfortable and awkward, even his blue cheeks were decorated with a pink dusting of embarrassment.

"Sure, as you wish. Hades," the god of dreams quickly bowed and left the room, almost crashing into Meg, who was standing in the anteroom, having a royal time.

Lamia showed a box full of sweets, a corked amphora and a scroll, which scared Hades so much that he couldn't even draw blood. The Lord of the Dead was convinced that she had revealed his plan, which should have belonged to none other than Hekate, and had come to take revenge on him for it. Of course, he had no idea that they were friends and wouldn't she rather want to kill him than sit on his lap?

So many things were wrong and he lacked answers.

"And... and... that... must be a big misunderstanding," he stammered out in surprise, trying to put together some defense.

"But, no, dear, your letter, the box of chocolates and the wine speak clearly," Lamia purred like a cat over a caught mouse and kissed the surprised god of the underworld on the cheek, handing him the scroll she was holding in her palm.

Lamia slid off the god of the underworld and then moved to the chaise lounge that Morpheus had previously occupied. Meanwhile, Hades looked at the sheet of paper. This, that they wrote Confusion and Pain? Hmm, that's pretty good... wait, the signature... WHAT! Loving Hades?! With undying love?! Is that a joke?

Hades' eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the sight of the signature. "I'LL KILL THEM!" he gritted his teeth and clenched the sheet in his palm while sucking air into his pointed nose to calm himself.

"Who, dear?" Lamia asked curiously, forcing Hades to put on his best fake smile.

"Your dear servants, for delivering you the bad wine. They should have chosen the best from my cellars," he cooed slightly forcedly. Lamia didn't deserve to die of poisoning.

"That's not necessary. This is strange, but very good. I've already tasted it," Lamia licked her lips with her snake tongue to prove how delicious it was, and Meg in the hall had no idea if she meant it sincerely or if she was just playing the lord of the underworld.

Hades reached out and grabbed the amphora on the table, uncorked it, and his eye wandered inside. The contents of the mixture stuck to the very bottom, forming a nasty poisonous haze. He swallowed hard and looked at the snake woman as if she was going to turn green and die at any moment.

"You drank that? Really?" Hades smiled as his eye began to twitch, probably because some fumes from the amphora had gotten there, so he better secure it again.

"Sure, pour it for us please. My throat got dry on the way," Lamia smiled at him as if she wanted to seduce him.

Hades conjured two clay cups with a mere thought, first pouring one for himself and then into the other, at the right moment he was ready to carefully pour the contents somewhere behind him.

"Could I read it again?" he tried to coax Lamia into reading the discrediting document, which she read with pleasure, because he had previously thrown it on the table.

"Feel free to read it aloud," she handed him the scroll.

"Hmm," the lord of the dead grumbled and took the document, took out his glasses and began to read, pacing the room back and forth like a tiger in a cage. Where could a mistake have been made, he wondered.

How could someone write: You are beautiful: That is a terrible cliché, there is no fantasy in it.

In the darkness your star is bright, the lord of the underworld muttered and every word was like a mockery in his face. He would never have written anything so terrible himself. Lamia was clearly enjoying it as she watched him.

"Who would write depth and scale in one sentence?!" Hades got angry. It didn't make sense.

"My dear, who else," Lamia laughed sweetly and the lord of all the dead immediately went out, like blowing out a match.

"Of course, of course. I dictated my invitation. It's not my writing, my handwriting isn't that nice and I actually didn't even know I was a poet," he improvised with an ironic grin, his gaze inevitably going to the places where Megara's giggling could be heard in the next room. He had no doubt that she was somehow involved.

"I think the writing was somehow beautiful," the demon agreed.

Hades began to sweat as he read, as he hadn't in a long time. The last time he had sweated like that was when Zeus had asked him what had become of Hercules.

"Still, it is truly beautiful to hear your confession straight from those corpse-dark sweet lips of yours," Lamia purred, smiling sweetly and teasing her ruler as she crushed him with her tail, she certainly wasn't going to let him off the couch just like that, not until he had finished his cup.

It was definitely her payback for all his promises of peaceful sleep. Now she would savor it to the fullest.

"I can be persuasive when I want to," Hades grinned, his expression playing as if he was thinking hard about how to get out of this situation, or at least out from under the snake's tail, which was considerably heavier than it looked. He didn't want to be another morsel of food for her hungry stomach.

"Maybe you could whisper different words to me when we're together in your bedroom..." she suggested, pouting her lips.

Hades pulled back as far as he could to avoid the kiss she offered, and instead just patted her shoulder in a friendly manner. "What's the hurry, the evening is still young for those who live down here. You don't need to rush anywhere, snake beauty, and I still have some urgent work to do," he frowned towards the passage to the other room, where one of his servants was, whom he had an ominous suspicion was trying to make his evening more pleasant.

“But please, everything is already arranged, your officials are doing their best to represent you, they are such hard workers that they don’t take a moment to rest.”

“They should, because they are dead, seriously, they need nothing more than to do my will, otherwise their translucent bodies would be soaking in the river like dirty laundry,” the lord of the underworld waved his hand.

“They are doing what they can so that their master can rest in the arms of his great admirer,” Lamia drew unfamiliar patterns with her finger on his chest, which was fortunately still clothed.

“I am flattered to have such a loyal servant, but I feel a bit tied up, and I mean that seriously, I can’t move, how about you give me some space, eh?” he shook the tip of her tail from his hand, which had begun to curl around him.

“Are you chasing me away?” the loud bang of her tail hitting the stone floor would have scared even Cerberus, who would have tucked his tail between his legs and scampered away.

"Of course not, I wouldn't allow that," Hades defended himself, giving up all attempts to get out from under her and raising his hands in a non-confrontational gesture in defense.

"I just..." he searched for the right words.

“You just wanted to drink, you must be very thirsty, I don’t know a god who would work so hard for us all and think of our well-being,” Lamia cooed.

She wrapped the tip of her tail around one of the cups and pulled it towards them.

Hades watched in almost horror as the thing approached him and pressed itself against his face.

“Of course I care about all my slaves,” he grinned, from ear to ear, one eye still following the rim of the cup that moved around him like a planet in its warped orbit.

“But I am something more, am I not, if my master adores me so, am I not? My eyes are like stars, isn’t that what it says in the scroll?” she winked at him with those pretty dark almond-shaped eyes.

The Lord of the Underworld looked at Lamia as if deciding which category she actually fell into, should he consider her more of a human being or a reptile? But it still didn't change the fact that he couldn't stand a snake in bed, not even as a pet, and he certainly didn't enjoy something like scales.

"Sure, sure, you're... a beautiful specimen, but you definitely won't be a butterfly, but you have other qualities, like excessive cuddliness," he groaned when the naughty tail wrapped around his waist and he tried to slightly split it in two.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sometimes I can't control myself, it must be the wine," Lamia laughed a little crazily, as if she was slightly drunk.

As her tail unwound, the goblet almost hit Hades in the face, so he took the initiative and wrapped his fingers around the neck of the goblet. Lamia thought he really wanted to drink, so she contentedly let go of the glass for him to take.

“We could get to know each other a little better and get closer, now that you’ve finally spoken, Hades,” she ran her fingers down his neck sweetly, making his skin crawl from her claws.

“I think we’re close enough now, my dear, it’s as close as it gets,” he forced a smile and shifted beneath her, but her body was still too heavy like a weight.

“Speaking of closeness, you might be interested to know that Morpheus has eyes for you, he confided in me just now that he admires chimeras like you, you have the best of both worlds, I mean, human beauty and snake agility and elegance,” he began to flatter her, realizing that he had to direct her attention in a different direction, and if he could turn her interest towards someone else, he would have won.

“Morpheus? That fat god?” Lamia wondered.

Yes, the god of sleep belonged to the underworld, or rather, to its borders, but if she could put aside this whole pretense that Meg had convinced her to do, she couldn’t imagine any god showing any interest in her after all that Hera had cursed her into the state she was in now. In fact, you could say that she had lost her appetite for any kind of mess with any god, but this new muscular hero cooking on the surface at the entrance to the underworld was worth her attention a hundredfold.

“Exactly the one, he has the qualities you need right now.”

“And that’s him?” she grinned skeptically, her long, forked tongue slipping between her lips and tasting the air.

"He would give you a good night's sleep if he threw his sleeping blanket over you. He would definitely be a better match than me," Hades played on emotions and feigned sadness and regret that Lamia could possibly leave him for someone else.

"But he never sent me a letter, he never even spoke to me," she objected. "And why should I pay attention to him when I have you, kiss me for that?"

"Kiss, what???" he managed to mumble when completely different lips stuck to his, it was such a shock to Hades that he stood up abruptly and Lamia slipped from his lap and fell to the ground with a thud.

The lord of the underworld stuck out his tongue and felt as if he had something bitter in his mouth and hoped it wasn't poison from her fangs, as he quickly searched for something to drink, he realized he had a cup in his hand and turned the entire contents over in one gulp. Only after swallowing did he realize that this was the worst option. The contents came from the amphora that Lamia had brought.

Before anyone knew it, Hades had stormed out of the room as if his chyton was on fire, leaving the surprised snake woman where she was. He had evidently headed for the kitchen, where the demonic cooks there had noticed him and remained motionless in the middle of what they were doing, because the lord of all the dead was picking up everything within his reach and stuffing it into his mouth, probably because he hoped it would induce vomiting, but unfortunately neither sugar nor pepper wanted to cause retching, so some sweet berries, oil, olives, a handful of earthworms, fruit, ice cubes followed, but none of it turned his stomach. Now he could only pray what would cause it all…

Comments

Excited?

The next part is here, and as you probably understood, our villains are plagued by bad dreams. Insomnia is terrible when you stare at the wall or ceiling for hours and hours, but what if you fall asleep and see such horrors? You close your eyes again and again and there is one nightmare after another. Depressing? Yes.

Another interesting realization is that the gods rest and sleep. Such an unrefreshed, sleepless god could cause terrible things like Poseidon, who can flood some island in a bad mood, on the contrary, Ares probably wouldn't have much energy to rush armies to attack. And what about Hades? So far, nightmares have avoided him, but next time he may not be so lucky.

This part is based on the episode: Hercules and the Long Nightmare number 43.