Archive of Our Own ^beta

Rex’s father, Jango Fett, had only recently married Anakin’s mother, Shmi Skywalker, at Thanksgiving after their four year long relationship. The couple had met because of Anakin and Rex. The boys were best friends and attended the same elementary school. After Jango’s wife’s passing he began attending Rex’s PTA meetings and there met the recently widowed Shmi Skywalker.

Jango unlike Shmi had more than two children from his prior relationship, also unlike his new bride all of his kids were boys. Boba Fett, the living reminder of Jango’s high-school stupidity, was 31. Alex was 27. Cody was 25. Wolffe was 20 and attending a military academy. Fox was 18. The twins Nate and Bly were 14. And lastly, Rex who was the same age as Anakin, that being ten years old.

On top of his already massive immediate circle of family was Jango’s very close ties to his Father and his father’s train-wreck of a family tree. Jaster Mereel, Jango’s adopted dad, had a half-brother named Yan Dooku. Dooku, himself, had three children; Rael, Qui-Gon, and the surprise baby Komari. Komari had a whole lot of issues and had fallen out of contact with the family. Rael had two daughters, Nim and Fanry. Qui-Gon Jinn Dooku -- a name that had always cracked Jango up as a kid -- had three sons, Xanatos -- the prick of the family and about the same age as Jango -- Feemor -- the nicest of the lot -- and Obi-Wan -- a nice kid, but always so darned uncomfortably stiff and formal. Feemor had one kid, away at the University of Coruscant. Obi-Wan also had one child, a little boy named Korkie. Ironically to Jango, Korkie much like Boba had been the by product of some imprudent high-school choices. But unlike, Jango and Boba’s situation, Obi-Wan and the kid’s mother actually had a relationship and got married right after graduation. Satine and Obi-Wan had lived with both their families through their college years and then moved out on their own with Korkie.

Shmi, on the other hand, had only Anakin and Ahsoka. Anakin was her biological son from her first marriage to man in the service. He’d passed away when Anakin was three and Shmi had raised the boy and later Ahsoka, whom she’d adopted through the NICU volunteer program at a local hospital, all alone. Shmi’s parents had passed away when she was in college, and she had no siblings. She did however have a very close relationship with her distant maternal cousins, the White-Suns, in particular with her young cousin Beru who’d taken to calling her Aunt Shmi. As a result, when Anakin had come into the picture he’d adopted Beru’s father-in-law, Cliegg, as his own Grandpa, and her husband,Owen, as an older brother.

This year, since Jango and Shmi’s respective families had been merged, all of the extended family -- save Rael’s oldest daughter who was with her fiancee’s family -- were gathering together for the holiday. Considering the size of their family, Satine had offered to open up her family’s Ski Resort in Hoth for their Christmas celebrations. Before they flew out for the gathering, Shmi-- who was a travel nurse-- was asked to take on a job. She agreed and Jango went with her. He left all his kids under Dooku,Rael, Qui-Gon, and Qui-Gon’s three sons with their respective kids’ supervision. With so many adults present everything ought to be fine, even if Satine, Bo-Katan, Feemor and Rael’s wives, and Beru and the Lars’ had already flown ahead to ready the Ski Resort for the family’s arrival.

Cody, took zero blame for anything that might go side-ways, he had to work right up until two days before Christmas. Fox likewise excused himself from assisting with his younger siblings and cousins. Wolffe was busy cramming for his exams and training for his upcoming physical.

Dooku, mistakenly, assuming, his two fully-grown sons, 61 and 50 respectively, were more than capable of ensuring all the younglings were accounted for, had devoted all his attention to reserving the rental vans and haggling – i.e. threatening -- the poor van drivers into a reasonable fare. Jaster, likewise assuming the kids were taken care of, busied himself with the momentous task of loading up packages and luggage. Alex was chaperoning his young female cousins through the crowded airport behind Wolffe who was busy shouldering a path through the throngs of people for the rest of them to follow. Cody was hauling Korkie and his still half-asleep father through the airport. Fox and Nate were too absorbed in arguing over who got the window seat to pay much attention to anything more than boarding the correct plane. Bly was still talking with his girlfriend Aalya Secura on his cellphone and decidedly unfocused on anything else to the point Feemor was steering him through the airport after their family. Fanry was complaining to her father, Rael, about her itchy hat and mittens. Qui-Gon was responding to whatever newest thing Xanatos was whining about. In the end it didn’t really matter who was doing what, the result was the same. The result being that the three youngest Fetts -- who’d been sent to bed early for instigating the ice-cream sundae war -- were inadvertently left home alone.

_________

Anakin -- ever the sort to take charge-- decided they ought to enjoy this unexpected gift to it’s fullest. Eight hours and three stomach aches -- from too many sweets and too much jumping on the beds -- later, they all slumped onto the couch in a collectively miserable heap, missing their parents. Anakin snapped them out of it.

“Hey, come on. Whenever Mom has had a bad day she cleans.” He said.

Rex and Ahsoka shrugged. Anything had to be better than this. So together they cleaned as best as two 10 years old boys and a five year old girl could. Rex noticed the rather bare state of their refrigerator -- the end result of their extended family staying with them this past week. Ahsoka vehemently rejected Anakin’s idea that they subsist on Jango and their older brother’s protein bars and shakes. So Rex and Anakin raided the emergency cash supply, wrangled Ahsoka into her blue coat and orange mittens, and off they went to neighborhood grocery. Grandma Jira wasn’t overly concerned by the three kids’ lack of adult supervision, Jango had been sending Anakin and Rex on milk runs for awhile. As for Ahsoka’s presence, Anakin lied their way through saying his little sister had been getting fussy being cooped up inside the past few days. Jira knew Jango and Shmi and waved them on their way with their groceries.

________

Unbeknownst to the kids there had been a rash of home burglaries committed by the criminal duo known as the Sith Bandits. And, Sheev Palpatine had had his eye on the Fett enclave for some time – Jango as a professional sports trainer did very well. Tonight was the night, he promised his adopted son, Maul.

________

That night as the three kids lounged inside their pillow fort in the family living room watching old Christmas cartoons they jolted away from their popcorn. Rex strained his hearing. Where had that noise come from? A repeated clattering came from the back yard. Rex and Anakin exchanged wide-eyed glances. It couldn’t be the dogs. Wolffe’s two mastiffs, Comet and Booster had been taken to the pet hotel two days prior. Anakin scrambled off the floor, leaving Rex to burrito Ahsoka into her blankets to keep her in one spot before rushing after his brother turning on all the lights and radios in the house which Anakin had missed in his mad dash.

_______

Sheev and Maul frowned. Hm, so it seemed the entire family had not left on vacation. But, from all the activity around the place in the past week, they could be sure the stragglers would leave soon. Likely the next morning. The Sith Bandits would come back tomorrow night.

_______

Anakin and Rex peering out the second story window -- Ahsoka elbowing them so she could get a look -- watched the two prowlers leave through the service gate and drive away in a red and black van. What now? The boys thought. Well the solution, to their five year old sister, was obvious; bite ‘em. Anakin did not want his or his little sister's mouth anywhere near the pair. Who knew where they’d been! Rex suggested they try to fake them out again, and Anakin agreed. However, he didn’t think just turning on and off the lights would be enough.

They raided Jango’s private home gym for his sparring dummies, Fox’s crash dummy, Nate’s autographed cut-out of a smash-ball player, and all the jump-ropes Jango had in the gym. Their jury-rigged circuit, made from Anakin and Rex’s combined pod-racing track sets, Ahsoka loud vocalizations, and having the radio blasting seemed to do the trick the second night. But Anakin and Rex heard the foiled bandits from their hidden posts inside the dog-houses, they were not willing to give up a third time. The heat was on.

_________

Anakin gathered the fireworks, from Wolffe’s room, Rex collected all their glass ornaments and miniature building blocks, meanwhile Ahsoka rounded up all their foam dart guns. Anakin rigged Ahsoka’s kiddie pool and their toaster by the back door. Rex wet down all the sidewalks and steps leading up the the doors. Ahsoka spread Fox’s collection of model cars along the stairs and in front of the one window they intended to leave unlatched. Anakin and Rex waxed all the wood stairways and the long hallway on the second floor. Ahsoka was stationed in the attic turret as their lookout with one of their walkie-talkies. Rex was posted to the back of the house and Anakin at the front. They were as ready as they were going to be as the neighborhoods’ timed lights clicked on. Go time!

________

Shmi’s eyed swept over the gathered family. No matter how many times she re-tallied, they were still short by three children. Jango was already railing, half-a-second away from throttling Rael or Qui-Gon-- whichever turned out to be the biggest idiot and spoke first.

“I grossly overestimated their level of responsibility based on their advanced years. That was clearly a mistake.” Dooku drawled his disappointment, frowning at his middle-aged sons.

Jaster was muttering and glaring at his nephews as he fumbled through excuses to his riled son.

“How could you manage to misplace three children!” Jango snarled.

“We didn’t misplace them. We know where they are….” Rael trailed off at the combined glares of his family. “I counted six.” He offered, hunching in on himself -- no easy task with his hulking frame.

“Six what!” Jango barked. Yes, he had had six kids still living at home. But that was before his remarriage to Shmi, that total was also not including all the other kids from Dooku’s side of the family.

“I counted Fanry and Korkie.” Qui-Gon offered.

“Which still leaves two people, Dad.” Feemor reminded him.

Rael and Qui-Gon winced. They might still be adjusting to Jango’s expanded family circle. They were also getting old, Jango glared. Shmi laid a hand on his arm and he sighed, breathing heavily through his nose. No use killing them. Not yet. His eyes promised vengeance. His cousins inched behind their kids.

Satine and Beru -- bless their level-headed hearts -- were already booking two return flight tickets and ordering a cab to drive them to the airport. Off Jango and Shmi went to get to their kids.

________

“Ani, Ani, Ani!” Ahsoka called over the walkie-talkie.

“Ahsoka, for the last time, my code-name is Skyguy or General.” Anakin grumbled. “Rex’s is Captain.”

“What am I?” Ahsoka asked.

“The backbone of any army; the private.” Anakin said.

“I wanna be a general too!” She protested.

“You can’t--”

“Why not?”

“You can be the commander.” Rex cut in, settling their argument before it could build up steam. “Now, what was it, Snips?”

“Oh, right! The bad guys.” Her voiced dropped down to a whisper. “They’re in the garden.”

“Back door?” Anakin prompted, hearing Rex scooting that direction to get another visual.

“Whoops, there went wrinkles.” She giggled.

“What?” Anakin frowned down at his walkie-talkie.

“Gramps slipped on our ice.” Rex clarified, snickering.

“I hope he broke something important.” Anakin muttered.

“No lotion.” Ahsoka chirped.

“What?” Rex said.

“She means ‘no soap.” Anakin rolled his eyes. Ahsoka had a habit of mixing up her idioms. She’d once told her friend Barriss to find a krayt while playing ‘Go Fish’.

“Oh.” Rex said. “Ah, kriff! He’s back on his feet.” He muttered.

“Language.” Anakin supplied, since neither of their parents or any of their older brothers were around to say it.

“Sorry.” Rex muttered.

“Down he went.” Ahsoka giggled.

“Again?” Anakin smirked.

“Oh, that had to hurt.” Rex offered. “I hope.”

“He’s up. And, Grandpa’s down again.” Ahsoka commentated.

Anakin froze. Wait a second? “Just Gramps? Rex, do you have a visual on the walking stencil?” Anakin asked, recalling a rather important detail.

Rex blinked. He’d become so preoccupied with watching Grandpa flounder around like a deer on a frozen pond he’d kind of forgotten about the burglar’s younger accomplice. “Uh….”

“Fudge!” Anakin groused, dashing from window to window to try and find out where their other thief had skulked off to. “Ah, come on.”

“Anakin?” Rex asked. “You see him?”

Anakin watched the lithe young man haul himself over the side gate into the front yard. “Yeah, I see him. We got ourselves a war on two fronts.” He grumbled.

“Should we fall back?” Rex asked.

“Yeah, you head on up, I’ll meet you there.” Anakin smirked, watching in satisfaction as the younger thief found his jury-rigged jumper cables, connected to the front handle and the battery he and Rex had managed to get out of the lawnmower.

Unfortunately, this only enraged the perpetrator, who began testing the windows for access. Anakin knew he’d find one open. He grinned as tall, dark, and ugly went tumbling onto his backside after his feet found Fox’s vintage car collection.

“You little.” The man snarled,catching Anakin gloating over his pain. “I’m gonna rip you to pieces.”

“Ya have to catch me first, stupid.” Anakin taunted, sticking out his tongue.

“You!” The man struggled to get to his feet.

“Whoo.” Anakin said and turned on his heel. “Time to fall back, Rex.” He warned over the walkie-talkie, scampering up the stairs in his non-slip hiking boots.

“Way ahead of you.” Rex said, staring down from the top of the landing.

“The other one is inside too?”

“Oh, yeah.” Rex nodded.

“The kitchen stairs?” Anakin asked.

“Doors locked. Gramps will have to make his way up using these stairs.”

“Good man.” Anakin grinned.

“Thanks, General.” Rex rolled his eyes.

“They’re dead!” Grandpa appeared at the bottom of the stairs with his younger companion. “No hostages. Kill the little brats!”

Rex winced. Had they gone too far?

“Come on, Old Man, are ya afraid of a few kids?” Anakin jeered.

Rex snagged his arm and began sprinting down the hall. “I think you got their attention, Anakin.”

“Not yet.” Anakin dug his booted feet in, turning around and timing the release of their next booby-trap.

The two burglars were half-way up the stairs when Anakin released the net containing the house-holds entire collection of balls. All kinds from Rex softballs, to the large kind they used for exercise. Anakin whooped as the avalanche took the men by surprise and took their feet right out from under them, sending them tumbling back down the stairs. He paused to enjoy their struggles to disentangle themselves, and slip on the waxed stairs they were forced to navigate on their hands and knees.

“Anakin?” Rex tugged insistently on his shirt.

“Yeah, okay.” Anakin relented, and they hurried up the hall towards the attic stairs. “I wish we had Comet or Booster here.”

“If we had  them here, we wouldn’t have needed this plan.” Rex reminded.

“True.” Anakin said. “Man, that old guy is spry for his age.” He remarked as Grandpa claimed the second floor landing ahead of the younger crook.

“On 3?” Rex said, turning around in the doorway and kneeling beside Anakin.

“On 3.” He nodded, balling his hands into the hallway rug. “1.2.3!”

They pulled with all their combined strength and yanked the rug right out from under the older bandit's feet. He went tumbling backwards, bowling over his younger companion.

“Nice!” Anakin cheered, high-fiving Rex.

“Now, we really need to retreat.” Rex said.

“Right.” Anakin said, shoving Rex ahead of him up the stairs and turning to kick the door shut. Unfortunately it did not lock from their side, but he wedged Ahsoka’s old baby-carriage between the door and the wall. It would have to do. He shrugged, turned, and hurried up the steps to join his siblings.

Rex had already hauled Ahsoka from her lookout perch and behind their makeshift barricade of mattresses and old folding tables. Anakin snagged his pre-loaded dart gun from Rex’s outstretched hand and dove for cover, peeking over the top, and lining up his sights on the stairwell. Ahsoka prepped her first rock-covered snowball -- they’d made them earlier using Nate’s rock collection and then had stored them in the play-rooms freezer. Rex took aim with Cody’s old pellet rifle.

“Well, here goes nothing.” Anakin gulped. I hope this works.

_________

Jango swerved around the yellow truck, yelling out the driver’s window at the poor teen who had unwisely decided to go cruising at 8 o’clock at night on Christmas Eve. Shmi patted the poor couple’s hand who’d been kind enough to give them a ride home and had allowed Jango to drive their sedan. The grandmother smiled in sympathetic understanding, while her husband tightened his knuckle-cracking grip on the armrests of the passenger seat.

_________

“This is nuts!” Anakin said, firing another whole clip into the stairwell to discourage the battered and bruised bandits from coming up the attic stairs now that the younger man had managed to wrench the door open.

They were running low on ammo and they would be trapped up here, alone with the pair of beyond homicidal men. It was at times like these when a boy lamented not having a zip-line out a window to a tree-house.

“Why didn’t we call Boba again?” Anakin asked, dropping behind cover to reload and glancing over at Rex.

“Because we’re idiots.” Rex said.

“Oh, yeah.” Anakin nodded, dropping his gun,  sprinted to the house-phone’s attic extension and tugged it back, hoping the cord would be long enough. “Alright, Snips, call Boba.” He handed the phone off to Ahsoka to reclaim his weapon.

“Can’t do it.” Ahsoka shook her head.

“What? Why not?” Anakin asked.

“I don’t know the number.” She said simply.

“Right.” Anakin sighed and told her which buttons to press to connect to Boba’s precinct.

“Hi, this is Ahsoka. Boba there?” Ahsoka said pleasantly, as if their lives weren’t about to come to a violent end.

“Soka.” Anakin nudged her. “This is no time to be Mrs. Manners.”

“Momma says we should always be polite.” She sniffed.

Anakin was torn between throttling his five year old sister or bashing his head against the folding table. “Ahsoka.”

“Boba?” Ahsoka chirped. “Hi, I’ve missed you!”

“We’re dead.” Anakin groaned. “We’re the next installment on unsolved murders.”

Rex glared over Ahsoka’s head. “Way to stay positive.”

“Me? Oh, we got left at home! Yeah. Uh-huh.” Ahsoka sang, happily passing the breeze with her eldest step-brother.

There was a loud thud, followed by some very creative swears as one of Rex’s shots made very solid contact with a sensitive part of the younger assailants anatomy. Ahsoka’s constant chatter tapered off for a second. “Huh, what was that? Oh, it’s one of the burglars. Yeah. Boba, we need help or we’re gonna die!” She suddenly screeched like a banshee, startling the thieves enough they slipped back down the stairs.

“Way to go, Snips.” Anakin shook his head, trying to diminish the ringing in his ears.

“He’s on his way.” Ahsoka said, calmly replacing the phone on the receiver.

“I’ll bet.” Anakin nodded. If that didn’t bring Boba running nothing would. “How many minutes does it normally take him to get here?”

“No clue. But I can tell you how long it’ll take him to get here this time. Two minutes flat.” Rex said.

“What about traffic lights?” Anakin wondered.

Rex turned to stare at him. “You really think he’s gonna worry about that?”

“Probably not.” Anakin shrugged. Now they just had to hold out for a couple minutes more. He hoped their ammo held out that long.

As always, Boba’s timing was perfect! His lights flashing through the open window at the same moment Rex and Anakin ran out of ammunition. Until Boba could get upstairs they resorted to chunking Ahsoka’s plushies and the remote controls, while she shrieked at the top of her lungs. Letting Boba know their precise location.

“Dad’s gonna kill you two.” Boba appeared, with his junior detective partner, Din Djarin, and tackled the two burglars.

“He won’t if we can get it all cleaned before they get home.” Anakin said, rising from behind their shelter.

_________

Jango and Shmi all but sling-shotted themselves out of the nice couple’s car, sprinting through the snow towards the ambulance parked in their driveway in front of a squad car.

“Oh, no. Please, no.” Shmi murmured, fearing the worst as the officer beside the ambulance turned around to face them.

“Boba, what’s going on? Are the kids hurt?” Jango snapped at his eldest.

Boba actually smirked, patting the ambulance’s closed doors as it started to pull out with it’s police escort. “Oh, the little ankle-biters are just fine.” He drawled, crossing his arms over his chest.

Shmi felt her anxiety begin to melt away. “Why the ambulance?” Shmi wondered.

“It wasn’t for them.” Boba grinned.

“What is going on? Didn’t you have work tonight?” Jango said.

“I do.” Boba tilted his head back toward the car still parked in their driveway.

“We should have just called you once we realized the kids had been left.” Shmi commented, shaking her head in amazement at her own absentminded stupidity.

“I think they were okay.” Boba remarked, glancing towards the house.

“Where are they?” Jango crowded into Boba’s space un-distracted from his own panic.

“Mom! Jay! You’re back early.” Anakin’s shaggy head suddenly popped out of one of the second story windows. “Rex! Speed-clean, speed-clean.” He just as swiftly vanished back into the house with a frantic shout.

“Stall, laser-brains!” Rex’s annoyed voice shot back.

Anakin reappeared, half-dangling out of the window as he waved wildly to insure he had their full attention. “You guys want some popcorn. It’s the good kind with actual butter, since Uncle Dooku isn’t here.” He offered.

Jango’s last nerve was straining to sprint upstairs and drag the child back into the safety of the house by his belt buckle.

Shmi waved, smiling. “That sounds good, Ani. We’ll be inside in a minute.”

“ ‘Kay. I’ll warn...I mean, I’ll tell Rex and ‘Soka.” Anakin vanished. “There we got two more minutes. Just shove it into the closet!”

“What the ka--”Jango cut himself off.

“Shmi, I not sure you’re aware of this, but you’re son’s a menace to society.” Boba pecked her cheek, patted his dad on the back, and radioed in heading towards his car.

“Are you leaving, Boba?” Rex popped out of the front door, jogging through the snow to hug his big brother.

“I still have work, squirt, and kriff-load of paperwork thanks to someone.” Boba said, ruffling Rex’s hair.

“Ya leaving already?” Anakin popped out of the window yet again and saluted. “See you later!”

Boba shook his head as Ahsoka suddenly appeared in the window, having used her brother as a step-ladder to wave excitedly.

“Bye-bye, Boba!” Ahsoka called.

“Come on, Snips, we’ve got Popcorn in the microwave.” The two vanished from the window before Boba could even return their farewell.

He rolled his eyes. “Well, since you all are in town for the holidays, I’ll be over tomorrow around lunchtime. Don’t worry about cooking, Shmi. Whelp, Merry Christmas!” He pushed Rex -- who was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans-- towards the house, and waved as he pulled out of their driveway.

Jango gaped after his unhelpful, and uninformative offspring. Still in numb shock he allowed himself to be tugged towards the house by Shmi. Ahsoka’s chipper greeting came the instant their feet crossed the threshold.

“Mama, Jay, we killed the bad guys!” She declared.

“What!” Anakin’s outraged voice objected. “Ahsoka, we didn’t kill anyone.”

“Yeah-huh.” Ahsoka rebutted. “Boba said so.”

“He said we did a good job almost killing them. They aren’t dead.” Anakin said.

Jango and Shmi looked at one another in wide-eyed disbelief. What had happened while they were gone?

“Are you sure they weren’t killed? They sure looked awful still after Boba and Uncle Din tackled ‘em.” Ahsoka said.

“They aren’t dead. If they were dead, they wouldn’t have needed an ambulance.”

“Welcome home, Dad, Mom.” Rex greeted, reappearing from upstairs in a sweater -- one Shmi had bought him, she noted with a fond smile --, and hugged them both. “We missed you.”

Clearly, Shmi and Jango had missed a few things too.

“Us too.” Jango returned, his eyes darting around the house. “Are those Fox’s model cars?”

“Uh?” Rex laughed nervously.

“Popcorn!” Anakin announced, entering the front hall with a large bowl of popcorn in his arms. Ahsoka trailed along behind him, her own hands full of a smaller bowl of the snack. Her mouth, too, judging by her puffed out cheeks.

“We can always watch the security footage later.” Shmi leaned over and whispered in his ear, tilting her head towards their recently installed camera.

Oh, right. Jango blinked. That was yet another thing they had forgotten about in their blind panic.

“So what are we watching?” Shmi asked, taking the bowl of popcorn out of Ahsoka’s arms.

“ Frosty the Snowman!” Ahsoka cheered.

“No way.” The boys protested. “Let’s watch Home Alone.”

“No!” Ahsoka stomped her little feet. “I’m tired of being home alone.” She crossed her arms.

“Frosty it is.” Jango made the elective decision, snagging his daughter and heading up towards the attic playroom.

“Dad,” Rex suddenly fussed, “you left the front door open. Don’t you know how dangerous that is?”

“Yeah, anybody could just barge in.” Anakin agreed.

“Not if we booby trap the house again.” Ahsoka said.

Jango paused on the landing and turned to stare at his sons. “Again?”

“Uh?” They fumbled.

“Change of plans, we’re watching the security footage now, and then Frosty. That is if I don’t ground you three ankle-biters until you’re 60!” Jango said.

Shmi smothered her amusement at the horror on her boys’ faces and shepherded them up the stairs after Jango and Ahsoka.

_________

“Boys, what were you two thinking!” Jango’s voice pitched an octave and Rex and Anakin sped out of the attic in full-retreat.

“Sorry!” They shrieked.

“We kept them from stealing anything though, didn’t we?” Anakin tried to placate his angrily, terrified step-dad.

“Why’s everyone upset? We stopped the bad guys.” Ahsoka shrugged.

Shmi buried her face in Ahsoka’s hair and laughed till her sides ached.

THE END