Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

White double checked that he had the correct faculty while walking up the steps of the university's entrance. The space was filled with students sitting at benches, some clearly catching up on forgotten homework and others just catching up with friends. Todd had said White would spot them easily, “rough kids who look ready for a fight” were his exact words, but looking around at all the students, White was starting to doubt his friend. The description didn't exactly fit the students carrying hefty law textbooks around. 

He could do this. He had to do this. Black needed him. White had been separated from his twin at an early age, their parents deeming them unsafe to be near each other after White had suffered from a cramp in their swimming pool and Black, feeling every bit of White’s pain, had nearly drowned in their outside shower at the same moment. He hadn’t spoken to Black since, all contact cut off by their parents. 

He had returned to Thailand earlier that week to begin preparing to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a diplomat. It was while surrounded by the influential men in a restaurant that White had discovered that his and Black’s connection had not in fact disappeared for good. He had gasped for air, his heart thudding in his chest until he had collapsed to the floor and had woken up confused, more scared that he had ruined his father’s efforts than for his own health. 

The doctors had told him that nothing was wrong. He wanted to ask about any other patients being admitted under the same last name as him but bit his tongue. White didn’t want to bring the topic of his twin up in the presence of his father. It was later that night, while White was blessedly alone, that Todd had called and informed him of Black’s condition and suggested his plan to seek revenge. Everything was happening in such a blur that White hadn’t thought to ask how Todd had got a hold of his phone number.

White took in a shaky breath, hiking his bag higher and squaring his shoulders. He would be fine. Todd had filled him in, he knew what he had to do. His fresh piercings were still a little irritated, and the tattoo on the back of his right arm still itched terribly. The discomfort was an unpleasant reminder of why he was doing this. He just had to pretend to be Black. How hard could that be?

The looming poster of Tawi Kuerkulsvasti, a Thai business man whose name he had heard repeatedly in conversation while studying in Russia, confirmed to White that he was indeed in the correct place. He didn't imagine the powerful millionaire would be holding a lecture in any other faculty other than one of business and law. White jumped in surprise as an arm was thrown over his shoulder as he read about the special lecture being held later that month.

“You’re early today.” 

White tried his best to cover his surprise at the appearance of the boy, who if he remembered correctly from Todd’s crash course, was named Gram.

“You’ve been gone for days, where were you?” 

“Gram…” White paused, unsure of what to say. Gram was watching him intensely, eyebrows raised expectantly as he waited for an answer. “I got up early.” 

The arm around White’s shoulder was holding onto the strap of his bag, keeping him pressed against Gram’s side. “You’re not usually gone for this long.” Gram wasn’t looking at White directly, instead he was staring ahead at the image of Tawi. His face scrunched in what White could only guess was disgust, although he had no clue what about the poster warranted such an expression. “I was worried. Why didn’t you reply to my texts? I wish you would at least have told me you were going off somewhere.” 

White wanted to scoff. He also wanted to know what Black was up to.

Gram finally took his arm back and created a little space between them. “Hey, should we go to the talk and cause him some trouble?”

“Cause trouble?” White frowned. Why would they want to do that?

“Like you said, he enjoys taking advantage of others. He should pay for it some day.” He nudged White. “And don’t ignore my question, you were gone for nearly a week, I deserve an explanation at least.”

“It was nothing.” White replied too quickly.

Gram looked displeased with the response, but let it slide. “I’ll get you to open up some day.” He flashed a wide smile that if White was looking closely, may have looked forced, and pulled White back into a side hug. He leaned in close, nose brushing White’s cheek. He sniffed. “You’re wearing perfume now?” 

White, in panic, shoved Gram away, ducking underneath the taller boy’s arm. “Do you want to eat first or go straight to class?” 

Gram ignored him and continued, “Your skin looks better. You styled your hair too, huh?” 

White pushed away the hand that tried to brush through his hair. “I didn’t.”

“Come on, I’m not complaining. I’ve always wanted you to do it but you never did. Ah!" Gram clapped his hands together as if he had thought of something important. "Is this what you disappeared for? Did you watch tutorials?”  

“I didn’t!” White rolled his eyes at Gram’s teasing. “Let’s go to class. Where is it anyway?”

“Want to know where?” Gram pressed the quickest of kisses to the top of White’s head. “Catch up with me.” Gram rushed off, leaving White with no option but to follow quickly.

“Where is everyone?” White asked as he and Gram left the university building. The day had not been easy for White, consisting of classes on subjects he didn’t have much knowledge on and a surprise quiz on top. He’d have to apologise to Black for his bad grades when he woke up.

“Why are you asking about them?” Gram replied as he bumped his knuckles against White’s own as they walked. 

“Can’t I ask?” 

“You don’t usually ask for anyone.” Gram gave him a look. “You’re acting weird today.”

“I just have something to talk to them about.” 

“Are you guys fighting again?” Gram scoffed. “We’re going to the garage anyway. We’ll meet them there.” With that, Gram jumped from the ramp they were making their way down, and walked up to one of the motorbikes that was parked there. 

White stopped in his tracks and gulped when he realised that he was also supposed to jump down. He sat on the edge and lowered himself down as far as he could before dropping the rest of the way to the ground, stumbling as he landed. Smooth, he thought to himself as Gram watched him. At least he hadn't landed on his face.

“Why are you just standing there?” Gram asked. He looked around, frowning. “Where's your ride?” 

“What ride?” 

“Your motorbike.” Gram pressed the back of his hand to White’s forehead. “You’re not sick, so what’s up with you today?”

“The engine died. I left it at home.” 

Gram didn’t look convinced, an eyebrow raised as he replied, “The engine died?”

White shrugged. “I couldn’t get it started. What do you want me to do?” 

Gram huffed a sigh and tilted his head. “Where have you been exactly? You’re acting even more elusive than normal.” 

To White’s surprise, he didn’t sound angry. He sounded upset. “I had personal stuff to deal with. Why do you want to know?”

“Seriously?” Gram sighed, “Of course I want to know. You don’t tell me anything.”

White was at a loss of what to say. Did Black treat his closest friends this poorly?  

“Fine, whatever. You can ride with me today.” Gram swiped the helmet from the bike next to his own and passed it to White. “We haven't done this in forever, it's a good excuse.” 

“Whose helmet is this?” 

Gram rolled his eyes. “Just take it, we can return it later.” 

White had a feeling they wouldn’t be returning the helmet. He put it on anyway and swung his leg over the bike behind Gram. He didn’t want to test his patience any further than he already had. 

Before starting the engine, Gram turned around. “Black, you keep surprising me today.”

“And?” 

“Nothing.” Even behind the silver helmet White could tell he was smiling. “This is good. I actually think I might like this version of you, once I’m used to it.”

Gram started the engine and White was jolted into his back, his light hold on Gram’s waist tightening. From the shaking of Gram’s shoulders, White had a feeling the act was on purpose. 

White struggled off the back of the bike upon arriving at what looked like a garage, taking the initiative to open the large metal sliding door for Gram to be able to ride the bike inside. He took in his surroundings as he followed the other’s lead in taking off his helmet and white button up shirt, leaving both the shirt and bag by Gram’s bike. 

He followed Gram further inside, feeling even more tense than he had earlier in the day. Being at the university was one thing, but entering the garage felt like walking into a lion's den. White attempted to calm his racing heart down by considering how dangerous Black’s other friends could possibly be if Gram appeared so, well, normal.

Gram stopped to greet a tattooed boy who was working on a motorbike not dissimilar to Gram’s. “Hey, Yok.” 

Yok looked up from the bike he was working on with a frown. “Why are you guys so early?” White wasn’t sure if he was simply unhappy about being interrupted or if his annoyance came from who was interrupting him. 

“I had to bring the bike for you to wrap.” Gram replied. “I need it done by tonight.” 

Yok nodded. “I’m on it.” 

“I’ll go get us a drink.” Gram brushed a hand over White’s lower back as he left.

White nodded and turned his attention to the boy who was working. “Hi, Yok.” Yok glanced up at the sound of his name but didn’t acknowledge White with a reply. “You’re doing a nice job.”

“Are you giving me a compliment?” Yok paused his work and put the tool he was using down. “One compliment doesn’t make up for disappearing on us like you did. You could have at least let Gram know where you were.” 

“I was being sarcastic.” White’s palms were starting to sweat. “You don’t seem surprised to see me.”

“Gram messaged me, obviously.” Yok rolled his eyes. “And it’s just a motorbike wrap, how pretty do you want it? If you know so much, why don’t you just do it yourself?” He brushed past White without waiting for a response, heading further into the garage. 

White followed him, taking in the large open room, walls lined with shelves upon shelves of cans and tools and what to White’s untrained eye looked like pieces of junk scattered around. A makeshift coffee table made out of a large wooden box was in the middle of the room, surrounded by mismatched couches and chairs that had all seen better days.

Gram came up behind him and pressed a cold can to his face. “Why is Yok sulking?” White shrugged. Gram probably knew it was because of him. “It won’t take him long to get over it, don’t worry.” He paused for a moment. “About earlier… I didn’t want to start an argument. I just know your ride is quite a big deal to you. It’s surprising it broke down.”

White gave Gram a small smile. “I know, it’s fine.” 

The taller set his can down on a nearby table and took White’s free hand in his, the other one circling his waist and pulling him in so that they were almost pressed against each other. Unsure of what to do, White let the intimate gesture happen, focusing on keeping his expression neutral and staying in character. “I’m still mad that you went so silent on me. Not as mad as Yok but…” Gram trailed off.

“I’m sorry.” 

Gram looked slightly taken aback by the apology. “Just - just don’t do it again.” He stuttered. “At least tell me when you’re doing whatever it is you do when you disappear.” 

“I will.” When I figure it out, White added silently to himself.

Gram rubbed White’s back as if to soothe him, and let go of his hand in favour of holding his cheek. “I missed you.” He said it quietly, as if it was something he wasn’t allowed to say out loud. 

All White could do was give him an awkward smile.

Gram leaned down, and before White could avoid it, he was pressing a kiss to his lips, soft and gentle. He pulled away just as quickly, smiling. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.” White stayed motionless, incredibly confused about what was going on. Gram moved his hands to his shoulders, leaning back to get a better look at White’s face, an eyebrow raised. “Are you okay?” 

White opened and closed his mouth, but nothing was coming out. “Um…”

Gram touched the back of his hand to White's forehead as if to check his temperature. His frown deepened. “Black? You’re not going to faint on me or something, are you?” 

“No - no, I’m fine. Sorry.” 

“Okay…” Gram was still looking at him with concern, “if you’re sure, baby.” 

“I - yeah - yes - I am.” White stammered, forcing a smile while all the while trying to decide if he had misheard Gram. Baby? He can’t have just called Black baby, surely?

“Stop subjecting me to your flirting and come help me.” Yok complained loudly. 

Gram chuckled and called over his shoulder that he would be right there. He pressed a kiss to White’s forehead and, much to White’s relief, put some space between them. “I’m going to go help Yok. Don’t get yourself into trouble.” 

White shoved him, attempting to act as if everything that was happening was normal. “How much trouble can I get into here?” Gram scoffed.

With both of Black’s friends busy, White was left alone to wander around the garage. It was clearly a work space, but it somehow felt lived in at the same time. Despite the strong smell of chemicals and high ceiling, the space felt homely and warm, and not just from the unbearable Thai heat. A ladder was propped up against what looked like a makeshift loft area, separated from the work space with an unstable looking railing. Glancing over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching him, White climbed up.

He tripped over a stray pair of jeans that had been dumped on the ground, grateful for the table in front of him for catching his fall before he could make too much noise and draw attention to himself. The floor under his feet didn't feel right, like he was walking on a pebbled path and White glanced down at his feet to find bullet casings scattered all around him, along with countless other things.

White stumbled backwards, looking up and around, anywhere but at what he was standing on. Only not looking at the floor meant looking at the table, various weapons lined up along it. Heart racing, White turned around to climb back down, when the shadow of a person appeared in his peripheral vision. A target practice. White let out a deep breath of relief. Why on earth would someone have a target board, in the shape of a person, in a garage.

At the other end was a door covered in spray paint. As quietly as he could, White pulled at the door, but it appeared to be locked. As he tried to open it, it suddenly moved, and another boy appeared behind it glaring down at White. 

“What are you doing?” He asked angrily.

“I’m using the bathroom.” Mimicking the attitude of the boy, who White recognised as the third friend from Todd’s photo - was it Sean? - was giving him.

Sean grabbed White by the neck, drawing him in to loom over his shorter frame. “Don’t lie. Why are you sneaking into my room?”

“I…” 

White couldn’t come up with an excuse before Sean was raising a fist. White’s hands flew up in protection, body flinching away from harm on instinct. It was evident that this was not the response Black would have given, from the look on Sean’s face. 

Lowering his fist, Sean let White go. “What’s got into you?” 

The question everyone was asking. 

“Sean, the fuel is leaking!” Yok’s voice shouted up to the pair, a welcome distraction for White. Sean shut his door firmly, giving White a pointed look before disappearing down the ladder.

White followed him down a moment later, descending far more carefully than Sean had. White watched as he began working on a bike, intrigued. White was smart, but he had zero knowledge on the topic of mechanics. Hell, he’d never even ridden a motorbike before that afternoon.

“What are you staring at?” 

“I’m not.” 

Sean sighed. “You obviously are.”

White leant against the bike and teased, “I just want to make sure that you’re fixing it up nicely.” 

“Big talk from the one who apparently couldn't get theirs started.” White huffed. Did Gram narrate everything Black did to their friends? “Bring me the engine oil.” 

White looked around blindly. He had no idea what engine oil looked like. He didn’t even know what it was stored in. Black would know, he berated himself as he scanned the shelves nearby, assuming that Sean asked because he was closest. He found a tin thankfully clearly labelled and brought it over to where Sean was working.

“Here-” As he was handing the tin over White kicked a tray, splashing oil over the floor and Sean.

Sean looked up at White in disbelief. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

White raised his hands in surrender. “I didn’t! I honestly didn’t see it!” 

Sean’s lips were pressed together, unimpressed. “You know I’m changing the oil, the tray can’t be anywhere else but right here!”

“I’m sorry!” White continued to apologise profusely. “I really didn’t mean to.” 

“Come here.” Sean grabbed the tray and stood up, rushing towards White, ready to tip the remaining oil over his head. They pushed the tray between them, bickering the entire time, until the tray eventually tipped in Sean’s direction. The oil dripped down his face as White failed to hold in a laugh that bubbled up.

“You deserved that.” He snickered. 

Sean raised an eyebrow deviously. “I won’t get messed up alone.” 

White backed away from Sean as he approached, arms raised in defence as he kept the tattered couch between them. He hadn’t accounted for Sean leaping over the couch and chasing him. It didn’t take him long to catch White, dragging him to the concrete floor and holding onto him tightly, trapping the smaller body underneath his own and rubbing his oil-covered face and body against White. 

He only let up when someone pulled them apart and the now greasy pair looked up to see Gram glaring down at Sean. “What are you doing to my boyfriend?” 

Sean rolled his eyes as Gram helped White stand, uncaring of his hands getting covered in oil as he fussed over him. “I’m fine.” White managed to get out while processing the fact that Gram had called Black his boyfriend. His behaviour throughout the day was suddenly making a lot more sense.

“It’s just oil.” Sean scoffed as he pushed himself to his feet.

“What are you two doing? You got oil everywhere!”  

White glanced over to the new voice. A man that looked a few years older than Black’s friends was watching the scene. Todd hadn’t mentioned him during his briefing. 

Sean bowed his head. “Sorry Gumpa. Black started it.” 

“Go get cleaned up. Outside, don’t ruin my bathroom.” 

White hung back after they were done cleaning up, taking his time to check the lockers when everyone else wasn’t looking, trying to find Black’s. “Here,” Gram appeared in front of him, a hoodie in his outstretched hand, “wear this.” 

White smiled gratefully. “Thanks.” He pulled the hoodie over his head, the clothing hanging off his slim shoulders. It was clearly not Black’s. “Do you just like seeing me in your clothes?” White teased, praying this was the kind of banter Black took part in.

Gram laughed, stepping into White’s space and bringing him into a hug. His voice was tender as he said, “You know I do.” 

“Gumpa, they’re doing it again.” Yok groaned childishly. “We need a no PDA policy.”

“We need a no Black policy.” Sean piped up.

Gumpa sighed. “I’ll cut your hours if you keep arguing like this.” 

“Hey!” Sean cried indignantly. 

As White observed the friends, Gram’s arm over his shoulder, he let the enormity of what he was attempting to do hit him. He was becoming more unsure if he was going to be able to get out of this without being exposed. It seemed, despite their faces being identical, he and his twin were complete opposites in everything else.

It was also clear that Todd had left out some vital information about Black’s relationship with Gram.

Chapter Text

“Are you ready?”

White used the question as an excuse to put space between himself and Gram turning to face him. “I always am.”

“So serious.” Yok scoffed.

Sean shoved two glass bottles into White’s hands. “Put these in your bag.” White inspected the bottles and an uneasiness settled over him when he realised what exactly it was that he was holding.

“Ready?” Yok was swinging his own bag over his shoulder, already sitting atop his bike.

Gram took the molotov cocktails from White when he didn’t react and shoved them inside his bag. “Can you carry it? You’ll need to ride with me.” White let Gram lead him to his bike by the hand, taking the stolen helmet and clipping it into place over his head.

White had no idea how long they had driven for, just that they had long left the city. They had taken a quick pit stop at an abandoned building to pick up gasoline no doubt left there by the three in advance. White felt a strong urge to bolt for it when the group had eventually parked up off the side of the road. 

“Hurry up, Black!” Yok yelled from up ahead, already climbing over the fence that separated what was clearly marked as private property from the public road.

“This is trespassing.” He said matter-of-factly. 

Gram scoffed. “And?”

“This was your idea, you’re not backing out are you?” Sean spoke up from the other side of the fence.

“Huh? No. Of course not!” White did his best to sound offended.

Sean rolled his eyes impatiently. “Then hurry up!”

Gram helped White over the fence and they caught up with the other two. Yok was offering Sean a cigarette.

“Do you want one?” Yok held the packet out towards White.

“No.” White grimaced.

Gram looked down at White, frowning. Sean and Yok looked surprised as well.

“Are you quitting?”

“Ah!” Gram snapped his finger in White’s face. “I knew kissing you seemed different!”

“We,” Yok groaned, gesturing between himself and Sean, “didn’t need to hear that.”

Gram grinned at his friends, winding his arm around White and pressing a kiss to his temple before ever so maturely sticking his tongue out at Yok. White pushed him away with a groan.

Sean pretended to gag. “So clingy.” He said with a roll of his eyes.

They carried on towards a house and stepped their cigarettes out on the gravel drive. Yok swung his bag off to hang over one shoulder in front of him as they approached. “Come on, we should get started while we still have some light.” He said while unzipping the bag.

White hesitated when the house came into view. “Won’t we be caught?”

“You said the place was empty at this time of year.” Sean sighed, tilting his head condescendingly. “Why, were you making stuff up to show off?”

“I just think we should be careful.”

“Leave it.” Gram stepped between the bickering pair. He turned to face White. “I thought this was what you wanted, huh? To show Tawi not everyone is on his side? You were the one that did the research on his property.”

“His property?”

“You won the game, so we have to follow your plan.” Sean said with frustration. “You wanted Tawi’s house to burn, so that’s what we’re doing. Don’t you remember? Or did you hit your head during your disappearing act?”

Much to White’s relief Yok cut in, “We don’t have time for this. We all know the plan, right? Black, you go through there with Sean and cover the ground floor, Gram will take the top floor, and I’ll take the first.” A bottle of gasoline was dumped unceremoniously into White’s arms with a pointed look. “Don’t waste any.”

Gram and Sean nodded, heading inside. White remained still, standing in the doorway that he hadn’t even noticed one of the three break open.

“Black! Stop causing trouble and get started!” Sean had turned back upon noticing that he wasn’t being followed.

White hesitated a moment longer before following them into the property. 

"You said it was empty!" Sean yelled, striding towards White and grabbing him by the front of his jacket. 

Gram, who was wrapping up White's burnt hand, pushed Sean away hard enough that he stumbled. "Get off him, he's hurt!" 

Sean rolled his eyes. "He was the dumbass who ran into a burning building." He watched as Gram stood up from the grass to gather the bag White had been carrying and took the opportunity to get in White's face, seething. "Go back to acting like the Black I used to know." He gave White's cheek a few condescending taps before turning away and making his way back in the direction of their bikes. 

“I quit.” White snapped back. 

The three stared at him for a moment. Sean rolled his eyes. “What the hell are you saying?” He turned his back to White, swinging his leg back over his bike.

Gram gave White a concerned once over as he took his uninjured hand and pulled him along after the other two.

"I’ll give you a ride home.” Gram said softly.

“Sure.” White replied, mind elsewhere. 

Gram helped him up onto the bike with steadying hands. “We’ll go first.” He waved to Sean and Yok who were busy packing up the evidence. Yok gave them a nod goodbye while Sean remained focused on packing, acting as if he hadn’t heard. 

As they rode back towards the city the pitch black began to turn into sunrise. White wished he could enjoy the scenery, but he felt like he wasn’t present in his own body. Processing what had happened that night, what he had been a part of, felt impossible. 

“It reminds me of the first day you taught me how to ride a motorbike.” Gram broke the silence they had been in since parting with the others. “You trained me until dawn. If I couldn’t do it, you wouldn’t let me stop until I could.” He tried distracting White, taking one of the arms around his waist and straightening it out to the side. “You told me to ride along the road and feel the freedom.”

When Gram turned his head to look at him, White could see even behind the helmet that he was smiling fondly. Black’s boyfriend seemed to really care for him, but from the things Gram had said and the reactions he had had earlier in the day, White didn’t get the impression that Black reciprocated the sweetness. He remained silent as they entered the city, not wanting to disrupt the calm. 

White was exhausted.

Gram walked White to the door when they reached Black’s apartment, apparently unwilling to let him out of his sight.

“I’m perfectly safe getting home by myself.”

“I let you go home by yourself last time and I didn’t see you again for two weeks.”

“I know.” White blinked up at him with heavy eyelids. Gram still looked like he didn’t want to leave. White put his hands on Gram’s shoulders and leant up on his toes to kiss him on the cheek. “Get home safely.”

Gram seemed stunned. In consideration, it was unlikely that this was the type of behaviour Black would exhibit. A hand was placed on the back of White’s neck and Gram pressed a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow?”

“Why?”

Gram frowned. “Your bike’s not running?”

“Oh. Yeah - yes. Please.” Smooth White.

Gram huffed a laugh and smiled fondly. “Maybe after a good sleep you’ll stop being so weird.”

“Whatever,” White fidgeted with the sleeves of the borrowed hoodie focusing on the too long sleeves so that he could avoid Gram’s eyes, “go home. You can see I’m perfectly safe.”

Gram continued to linger in the stairwell. He scuffed his shoe over the dusty concrete and watched it settle back down as he asked, “Can I kiss you?” He only looked back up once the question was out.

White looked at Gram blankly. “You just did.”

Gram rolled his eyes “Properly.” He motioned vaguely around them. “No ones around.”

White bit his lip, hesitant. How morally corrupt was he for not only kissing his brother’s boyfriend, but for kissing Gram while he was under the assumption that White was his boyfriend. It was deeply wrong for so many reasons but White found himself saying, “Okay.” 

It was almost worth it to see Gram’s face light up. He kissed White slowly, holding both sides of his face as if he was scared of him changing his mind. White tried to kiss back like he meant it, as if he were actually Gram’s boyfriend.

“See you tomorrow.” Gram spoke softly when he finally pulled away. 

White managed a small wave back. “You know,” he added before closing the front door, “you don’t have to ask permission to kiss me. I think being my boyfriend is that permission.” 

White felt uncomfortable as he walked through the lobby on his way to the examination room. He had almost forgotten the exam was happening at all. He had become so wrapped up in Black's friend's over the past few days that he had almost forgotten to go home to his father, too. Explaining that he’d crashed at a friend’s house after studying for the exam had worked as an excuse for the time being, but White’s father was a smart man and he knew that it wouldn’t work a second time. 

Changing clothes in his car had been awkward. He hadn't missed the dress shirts. Black's clothes were far more comfortable than White's own wardrobe, as dishevelled and dirty as it all looked. He was pondering over whether he could get away with stealing a couple t-shirts after everything was over when he bumped into someone.

"Sorry, sorry, I wasn't looking." He apologised quickly, picking their pens up off the polished floor and handing them back. 

"Don't worry about it.” The man waved off his apology, smiling comfortably. “Is it your first time taking the exam?"

White nodded.

"Have you prepared?"

"Not really." White replied honestly. He had been a little preoccupied recently. "But I think I might do well." 

"The written part is not so hard,” the man agreed, “they're testing your general knowledge. It's good if you follow the news. Like the recent news about the fire at Tawi's home. Have you heard about it?"

White nodded jerkily, the burn on his hand feeling warmer at the mention of the fire. "Yes, I have."

"What do you think?"

"I'm... not really sure. But I think they had a reason to do it."

The man nodded in agreement. "I don't think it's just a fire. I think they meant to expose Tawi's forest trespass.”

"What makes you think so?"

"Burning a house in the middle of the forest," the man replied enthusiastically, "is definitely a symbolic act."

The reply confused White. "Don't you think they used violence to solve the problem? Do you think it will work?"

"Without the fire, no one would care about the issue. The media are ignoring the topic, though. It was just a fire and no one was hurt. I agree with the symbolism, but what they did was against the law."

White liked how the man thought and he told him so. "You're straightforward. You say what's on your mind." 

The man chuckled. "I can say it now, but I can't if I have to be diplomatic. Otherwise, I won't pass the exam." 

White smiled at the comment and the man checked his watch. "It's almost time. Good luck!"

"You too."

He couldn't shake what the man had said about the fire from his mind as he filled in his details on the exam sheet.

It was banging on Black’s door that brought White back from the unbearable pain he was feeling, curled up in a ball on his floor, half dressed. He coughed loudly, painfully, not quite able yet to call out and let whoever the impatient person was know that he would be with them in a moment. 

“Black? Hey, are you okay?”

Gram. White had suffered, well, he didn't know what. But it was more than likely a result of something happening to Black, in his hospital bed. He had felt like he was suffocating, gasping for air as he had crumbled to the floor. 

“I’m-” he coughed some more, “I’m fine!”

“Open the door then!” 

White pushed himself up off the floor and dragged his feet towards the door. “Impatient.” He commented half heartedly as he let Gram in. He was too tired, too scared about what state his brother was currently in, to put any heat behind the words. 

Gram brushed past him, turning back as White closed the door behind him. “You look pale.” He pointed out worriedly as he pressed the back of his hand to White’s forehead.

“I’m fine.” White pushed the fussing hand away gently.

He could feel Gram’s eyes on him as he moved to Black’s open wardrobe and pulled a t-shirt over his head, followed by a denim jacket. “You weren't answering your phone earlier. Why did you skip class again?” 

"I was busy."

"Busy?" Gram scoffed.

White nodded with a shrug. 

"And are you busy now too? We're supposed to be meeting up with Yok."

“I have business. You can go without me. I'll see you in the evening, at the garage.” 

“Black-”

Black's phone rang, Todd’s name lighting up the screen.

“You should go before you’re late.”

“Don’t… don’t do this again.” Gram pleaded.

“Do what again?”

Gram was refusing to make eye contact, gaze fixed on somewhere behind White. “Leave me out. Disappear on me. Make me worry about you and act like nothing happened when you come back.” 

“I won’t. You’ll see me later. I promise.” Gram didn’t look convinced. Black’s phone was still ringing. “I have to take this.”

Gram deflated, the fight visibly leaving his body. He sighed. “See you later then.” 

He left, and White breathed a sigh of relief. He picked up the call. “Todd?” 

“White, the hospital called. They said Black’s condition got worse. But he’s okay now, we shouldn’t be worried.”

“Thank you. I was thinking of going to the hospital just now.” No need to let Todd in on why White had decided to go. He wasn’t entirely sure if Todd remembered the connection he shared with his twin, but to be safe, it was best he didn’t know. White had felt whatever it was that had just happened to Black just minutes before Gram had knocked on his door.

“No need to come.” Todd replied. “He’s alright.”

“That’s good.” White breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing his shoulders. “By the way, are you free today? I need to ask you a favour...” 

An hour later Todd was parking Black’s bike, ready to teach White how to ride it.

“So how was it?” He asked as he took his helmet off, combing a hand through his hair. “You met his friends. Do any of them seem shady?” 

White sighed. “No. They don’t even know where Black was, or seem surprised that he’s walking around bruise free. I don’t think they’re involved.”

“Nothing suspicious about them? At all?” Todd crossed his arms, jaw tightening. 

White shifted his weight from one leg to the other. “Well, there is one thing...” 

Todd’s eye’s had a glint in them as he straightened his posture and put all his focus on White. “Yeah?”

White punched his arm. “Black isn’t single.”

“Huh?” Todd’s excitement died quickly.

“He’s dating Gram.” White said matter-of-factly. “How come you didn’t know?”

Todd’s eyes widened only briefly before he schooled his expression. “Oh. I had no idea. Maybe he’s lowkey about it?” 

“Hm.” White shook his head. “They’re very… close, around their friends. That doesn’t include you, apparently.” 

Todd hummed. Changing the subject he asked, “So you want to learn how to ride Black’s bike?” 

"I've been suspicious since the start because I wasn't riding it and I can't exactly ask them for lessons, that's why I need your help.”

“Sure.” Todd replied as White settled on the bike. “Just a warning, Black loves his ride, maybe more than the boyfriend he apparently has. If you crash it, he will probably wake up just to finish you.”

White rolled his eyes. “I won’t.”

“First, you’ll need to hold the clutch lever, on the left.” Todd began explaining as he took a seat behind White on the bike. “Then you shift gears and slowly let go of the clutch.”

They drove around for a while before White dropped Todd back off where his car was parked. “Thanks. For helping.” 

“No problem.” Todd smiled. “Try going faster, you need to be confident. Black isn’t someone that hesitates.” 

White nodded. “Okay.” 

White decided to head to the garage after parting ways with Todd. He cracked his knuckles as he stopped at a red light, becoming aware of how stiff and sore his body was after riding the bike for so long for the first time. 

A familiar looking bike pulling up beside him caught his eye. “Are you headed to the garage?” Sean yelled over their engines. 

White kept his eyes on the traffic lights as he replied, “I’m not telling you.” 

Sean rolled his eyes. “Whoever gets to the garage first wins.” 

With that, the light changed to green and Sean was speeding off. 

“Hey!” White called out, trying his best to catch up to Sean’s speed, unsure of why he was doing it but feeling the need to chase the other regardless. 

“I went easy on you.” Sean grumped when he had pulled up beside White, who was taking off his helmet, having arrived at the garage first.

“Just admit you lost.” 

“Fine. I lost. So?”

“The loser gets this.” White said as he flicked Sean’s forehead triumphantly.

“Ow!”

White hurried inside to avoid any repercussions. He found Yok and Gumpa boxing.

“Black.” Gumpa greeted, allowing Yok to land a punch to his cheek. The punch wasn’t hard, but it made Gumpa stumble.

“What was that for, Yok?” He groaned, holding his jaw.

Yok was grinning. “You let your guard down. I couldn’t help it.”

White scoffed.

“Black, you take over for me.” Gumpa took his gloves off and placed them in White’s hands. White stared at them dumbfounded. How was he going to get out of this?

Yok grinned. “Good, I haven't fought you in a long time.” 

“Hold on.” Sean cut in as he joined the group. “I want to fight him.” 

Yok scowled. “Why?”

“Stay out of it.” Sean muttered as he shouldered past him.

White thought they had been getting along, so why was Sean suddenly up for a fight? Sean rejected the offered gloves from Yok and White gulped. He dropped the pair Gumpa had passed over to him.

“Come on then.” Sean coaxed. “Start it.”

White raised his fists nervously. He had no idea what he was doing and he was fairly certain, although lanky, that Sean could easily take him. White had barely taken a step closer before Sean lunged, an arm going around White’s neck and pressing his back to Sean’s front. He gasped, “What are you doing?!” 

Sean brought his free arm up and started flicking White’s forehead. “This is for what you did to me.” White could hear Yok and Gumpa laughing. White managed to wriggle free.

“What the hell, Sean?”

Sean shrugged. “Well? Lets box.” 

White sighed. Fine, White thought to himself, if Sean wanted to play like this - he was thrown back by a punch to his nose. Instinctively, White raised his arms protectively. Sean continued to try to land more punches to his face and stomach. White attempted punching back, but it only led to him being pushed aside and eventually Sean landed a punch under his jaw. White stumbled, head thrown back to face the ceiling, his ears ringing. Sean, thankfully, was quick enough to catch him before he hit the thin mat.

“What the hell are you doing?” If White didn’t feel so ill, he would have recognised the voice that shouted as Gram’s. 

“Take him to the couch.” Gumpa instructed. 

Gram shoved Sean to the side, knocking him off his balance and onto the mats. “What were you thinking?” He snapped as he wrapped one arm under White’s shoulders and the other under his knees, lifting him off the mat and carrying him to the couch.

“You were harsh on him, Sean.” Gumpa chided. Yok was enjoying the scene. “Get him a cold compress.”

Sean turned to leave but was stopped by Gram’s hand on his chest. “I’ll do it. You,” he jabbed a finger into Sean’s chest, “can stay away from him.”

When Gram was gone Yok took his phone out, snapping photos of White’s unconscious face. 

“Gram will kill you.” Sean warned. 

Yok dismissed the comment with a wave of his hand. “He won’t find out.” 

Gram came back with a cold wet face cloth, pressing it to White’s face and neck gently. After a moment, White stirred. Gram gently put the back of his hand to White’s forehead to check his temperature. “You feeling okay, baby?” 

White groaned, nodding slowly. Gram took White by the armpits and hauled him gently into a sitting position, sitting down beside him and winding an arm around his waist protectively. 

“Take it easy.” He fussed.

“I’m fine.” 

Gram rolled his eyes. “Sure you are.” He ran his free hand through White’s hair, pushing his bangs out of his eyes. “No more fighting with Sean.” 

White raised his hands in surrender. “Okay.” 

“You worried me.” Gram used the hand still in White’s hair to pull him in for a kiss. 

White leant up to kiss Gram back. “Sorry. For earlier too.”

”It’s already forgotten.” Gram smiled.

It wasn’t until Yok had all but dragged Gram away to go for an evening ride that White found himself alone, no longer suffocated under Black’s boyfriend’s care. The peace didn’t last, however, as Gumpa found him not long after and told White he needed to practise and to meet him at the top of the ladder. 

He didn’t get a chance to actually ask what he needed to practise, because Gumpa had taken a shot before he could. The loud bang made White flinch. “The Black that I trained was better than this.” White cringed back at a second loud bang came from the gun in Gumpa’s hand. He held it casually out to White. “Your turn.” 

White looked between the gun and Gumpa nervously, hesitantly placing his fingers around the grip, completely unfamiliar and out of his comfort zone on what to do.

“Don’t be afraid,” Gumpa encouraged, “I’m not teaching you to hurt people, I’m teaching you how to protect yourself.” Gumpa kicked White’s feet shoulder width apart and raised his arms up straight, gun pointed towards the abused target at the back wall. He watched White then, let him stew in the position, before pulling the gun from his hands. He paused, White’s hand between his own calloused ones. 

White pulled his hand away. “What?” 

“Your hands are soft. What did you do to them?”

White remained quiet and expressionless. Gumpa was apparently far more observant than Black’s younger friends. “You’ve been different since the fire.” 

“I’m just tired,” White brushed him off, “nothing else.” 

“Stay here with me at the garage.”

White listened to the click of the safety lever. “Why should I stay here?” 

Gumpa put the gun back down on the table. “I will train you to be as good as you once were.” 

“I think I’m okay.” White started to turn, ready to climb back down the ladder. 

“You’re not okay.” Gumpa insisted. “You can fool everyone, even Gram, but you can’t fool me, Black.” 

White tried his best to keep his expression neutral. “Can I at least think about it?” He hated the way Gumpa was looking at him, like he was something to worry about, like he knew White’s secret. It made White uneasy. 

“Of course.” Gumpa replied. “The offer will always be there.” 

Chapter Text

White walked into his father's home, tired from the long day. He still had a headache from earlier.

"You're home." His father appeared to be setting the table for dinner. "Here, take a seat, we're celebrating." 

White pulled a chair out but remained standing. "What for?"

"You passed the written exam." His father was grinning like the accomplishment was his own.

"You already know?” White tilted his head to one side. “The results shouldn't be out for a few days."

"My friend called and told me the news." He was pouring champagne. "Come on, sit down." 

White was quiet as his father handed him a glass and took a sip. He still didn’t sit down but he watched as his father took his place at the table.

"You did great.” His father reassured him. “You don’t need to worry about the interview either, you already have a desirable trait. As long as you don't cause any trouble, you should be fine."

If only he knew. White almost laughed.

"There's one important thing you should remember. I know you graduated from abroad, you have a broad perspective which is admirable.” His father took another sip from his glass. White had never felt he could admit that he didn’t actually like champagne. “But remember you are now in Thailand, you should remember the concept of seniority. Don't speak out about everything you think. You should be humble and respectful." 

White nodded, circling the rim of his glass with the tip of his finger for something to do. "Okay." 

His father continued, "You took the test to become a diplomat. Your main duty is to take care of your country. You should keep your personal opinion to yourself."

White kept forcing a smile. “Okay.”

His father stood and walked around the table to clap a hand on White’s shoulder. "I am proud of you. One day, you will become a great diplomat."

White could only nod along as he listened.

After class, at Black's apartment, White took what was now a rare moment of peace to dig through his brother's phone. Chances were slim, but he hoped that he might find a text or maybe even a voice message that might lead him in the right direction to finding the person behind putting Black in the hospital.

He opened the most recent chats that weren't from one of Black’s closest friends, not that White would necessarily describe Sean’s relationship with Black as close per say. One of the last messages was a video. “Don’t share it anywhere. I’m afraid you might be in danger.” He scoffed as he read the reply Black had sent to the video out loud to himself. “It’s you that’s in danger.” He muttered to himself.

Unfortunately, the video wasn’t anything helpful to White. He severely doubted that the girl in the video, Eugene, had anything to do with his state. However, White did note that the video was rather flirtatious. A call from Gram interrupted his snooping.

“Want to ride together? I’m downstairs.” He said without greeting when White picked up the call.

“ Huh? ” White hurriedly kicked his dress shoes under the bed, head whipping around to the front door as if he was going to find Gram standing in the doorway. 

“We’re supposed to meet at the garage tonight.” White didn’t need to see Gram to know that he was rolling his eyes. “You need to read the group chat, baby.” 

“Oh.” White breathed a sigh of relief. “Sure. Thanks.” 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah,” White cleared his throat awkwardly, “yeah I’m fine. Just tired.” 

“Okay…” Gram drew the word out, unconvinced. “I’ll be up in a second.” 

“Yeah.” White dropped the phone onto the bed, unable to shake the feeling of being caught, hands shaking as he turned the lock on the front door.

“Hey.” Gram gave White a quick kiss as he was let in, dropping his bag to the floor and making himself at home on Black’s bed. “You ready to go?” 

White nodded jerkily. “I just need a minute.”

Gram watched as his boyfriend disappeared into the bathroom, smiling. Black had been acting strangely recently, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad strange. He was more affectionate, didn’t grump as much, if at all, when Gram wrapped him up in his arms around their friends. He wanted to protect this version of Black, rather than feeling like Black was the one ready to throw himself into danger to protect Gram. 

He shuffled back further onto Black’s bed, making himself comfortable. Black didn’t tend to take long to get ready, he didn’t check the mirror most days, showing up to class with bed head and no pen. Gram always carried a spare. He seemed to care now. Gram had caught him checking his hair in a bike’s wing mirror and don’t think he hadn’t noticed that his shirt’s were ironed. Not a wrinkle in sight.

Gram leant back on his hands, accidentally knocking something to the floor in the process, whatever it was landing with a thud. Gram twisted, rolling onto his stomach to lean over the edge of the bed to retrieve what he discovered to be Black’s phone. It was unlocked, opened to a chat with-

“I’m ready.” White announced, shoving his feet into his shoes without bothering to untie the laces. Gram didn’t respond. “Gram?” White leant over to see what Gram was so focused on. He paled, snatching the phone from Gram’s hand and shoving into his back pocket. “Why are you looking at hi- my phone?” He questioned defensively. 

Gram rolled back onto his back and sat up, eyes more fierce than White had ever seen them. “Do you still have feelings for her?” 

“Who?” White asked as he picked up Black’s wallet and keys from the nightstand. 

“Don’t play dumb, Black.” Gram snapped. “Are you talking to her again?”

White stepped forward into the space between Gram's legs, resting his hands on his shoulders. “Why would I be?”

Gram scoffed, pushing against White’s stomach without actually pushing him away. “Why else would you be reading messages from your ex-girlfriend?” 

“I wasn’t.” White lied, moving his hands up to hold Gram’s face gently, stroking his thumb over his cheek, fingers brushing through the pieces of long hair that had failed to stay in place. “I must have pressed on it by accident when I set the phone down.” 

Gram didn’t look convinced, but he moved his arms up to wrap them loosely around White’s slim waist. “Do you miss her?” 

The vulnerability in Gram’s voice was thick. “Of course not.” White kissed his cheek softly. “How could I when I have you?” 

Gram groaned, shoving White away playfully only to stand up and crowd White against the bathroom door. “I’m not used to hearing sweet words from you.” He kissed White. “I like it.” He kissed White again with more purpose, hands on his hips.

White pushed on Gram’s shoulders. “We’re going to be late.”

That only made Gram push back. “Since when did you care about that?” 

“Do you want to have to listen to Sean whine?” White raised an eyebrow in challenge. 

“You make a good point there.” Gram sighed in acceptance, pressing one last kiss to White’s lips before he gave him space.

White breathed a sigh of relief. “Let’s go.” He smiled up at Gram, linking their fingers together.

They arrived at the garage to the remarkable smell of Gumpa and Sean grilling meat, Yok lazing in a chair nearby, no doubt offering unsolicited advice. “Took you long enough.” He remarked with a smile as he uncapped a beer.

“We’re not even late.” Gram retorted, smacking Yok over the back of the head as he passed him, White’s hand gripped tightly in his own.

“Come sit down and eat when you’re done bickering.” Gumpa waved them over and as they settled down continued, “You need to decide what your next move is.” 

Gram dropped his fork in favour of raising his hand eagerly. Gumpa nodded for him to speak. “I want to reform our justice system. I’m a law student but it doesn't apply in real life. I want to rebuild it from scratch.” 

“How are you going to do that?” Yok asked dubiously, piercing a slightly burned piece of pork from his plate with his fork.

Gram sat back in his chair with a huff. “I don’t know.” 

“Then why did you speak?” Yok’s tone was light and teasing but White could feel Gram tensing beside him. He laid his hand over Gram’s, where it was clenched in a fist on the table.

“I’ll work out how later.” 

White stroked his thumb over the back of Gram’s hand. “He’s just teasing.” 

Gram looked over to White, relaxing a little. He slipped his hand out from underneath White’s and flipped White’s hand over to link their fingers together, squeezing.

“I want to address disability rights.” Yok declared smugly. “I’ve already got a plan in the works.” 

White could feel his palms begin to sweat as he listened to Yok expand on his idea. He bounced his leg up and down, trying to think of an excuse to remove his hand from Gram’s hold before he picked up on White’s nerves. 

Gram felt the nervous bouncing and looked over at him with a frown. He bumped their shoulders together. “You okay?” He asked quietly into White’s ear in order to not draw attention.

White nodded stiffly, forcing an awkward smile. “I’m fine, pay attention.” He pushed Gram back into his own seat. He tried his best to ignore Gram’s concerned gaze.

Gumpa nodded as Yok finished. “And Sean?” 

Sean had been quiet throughout the meal, listening as he ate. “I want to destroy every business Tawi is running. His business runs on his connections with the people who abuse the people below them. If we can bring him down, everything else can follow.” 

“Black?”

White busied himself by shoveling too much pork into his mouth. Sean sighed in impatience. White chewed the mouthful slowly, all the while racking his brain for something to say, anything . When he could on longer postpone his fate he settled for, "I’m not telling.” 

Sean narrowed his eyes. “Trying to act cool?” 

White fidgeted with the bracelet he still wasn’t used to wearing but kept his chin raised in faux confidence. “I just don’t feel like telling you right now.” 

“You’re always -”

“ Okay.” Gumpa raised his hands, silencing the pair. “That’s enough. You need to decide who’s plan you’re going to go forward with.” He took one of Yok’s empty beer bottles and placed it in the middle of the table. “I will spin it, you go with whoever it lands on.” 

White held his breath as the bottle spun, his fist clenched tightly underneath the table as he watched, praying it wouldn’t stop on him.

White hadn’t had much luck since moving back to Thailand.

“Him again?” Yok complained, throwing himself back in his chair in frustration. “That isn’t fair!”

Gram put a hand on White’s back, encouraging him despite his own disappointment. “He won fairly.” 

Yok kicked Gram's shin underneath the table. “Of course you would take his side.”

“Well,” Sean was looking at White intensely, “will you tell us your plan now?”

White looked around the table, four pairs of eyes focused solely on him. It felt like he was making a presentation in front of a classroom full of students with nothing prepared. His gaze was fixed on a drop of condensation sliding down Gram’s glass as he wracked his brain for something to say. 

“Well?” Gram encouraged softly. 

White sent him an appreciative smile despite feeling anything but that. “Let’s do what Sean proposed.” He said eventually. “He might act out if we go with my plan twice.” 

“Quit it!” Sean slammed his fist on the table. “You won, we have to do what you want.” 

“Like Yok said, it wouldn’t be fair for me to go again.” White argued, shrugging his shoulders and crossing his fingers that he was coming across as nonchalant. 

“That’s not how this works.” Sean argued right back. “What’s your aim? To throw it back in my face after you fuck it up on purpose?”

“Will you take it or not?” Gram moved his hand up to hang it over White’s shoulder, turning in his chair to face him. “If Sean doesn’t want the chance, give it to me, Black.”

“You like to be in control,” Sean said, ignoring Gram, “why are you giving up so easily?”

White raised an eyebrow at Sean. “I’m curious to see if you can attack Tawi harder than last time.”

Sean narrowed his eyes. “You’ll let me lead?” 

White shrugged. “It’s your plan.” 

“No take backs.” Sean said, standing up and pointing in White’s face.

Yok scoffed loudly from the end of the table. “Can you two give it a rest?”

Sean relaxed back into his chair. “I’m just surprised Black is giving up control like this.” 

“Oh, hey!”

White looked up to see the man he had spoken to at the exam walking towards him. He smiled warmly. “Hi! You passed?”

“I did!” He clapped White on the shoulder as he sat down beside him. “You’re here for the interview too?”

“I am.” White smiled proudly. “Are you excited?”

The man pulled a face. “Not really. Let’s say I’m nervous. What about you? Are you worried?”

“I’m not worried about the interview.” White replied confidently. “I’m more worried about working in the ministry. I’m not sure if the work culture there fits me.”

“Wow!” The man sounded impressed. “You seem really confident that you’ll pass.”

White just smiled. He was confident. Everything his father had done in raising him had been to get White to this point so that he could become a diplomat and follow in his fathers footsteps.

“I want to prove that someone from a middle class background can do it.” The man continued. “But there are some rich and privileged kids who always please these people. I must fight them with my skills. It’s the only thing I’ve got.”

“I think the test here is good because it’s fair.” White replied defensively. “We will see who really has skills. It’s a diplomat position after all.”

“It’s not like everyone has a chance to be here.” The man argued. “Not everyone has the same educational opportunities.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a call. “Mr. Savate Pothiyakorn?”

White looked up. “Yes?” 

“You can proceed to the interview room.” The employee motioned with his hand to indicate the direction White needed to go. 

“It’s my turn.” White nodded goodbye to the man he had been talking to. He was stopped with a hand grabbing his arm.

“Pothiyakorn?” He asked dubiously. “Are you related to the ambassador?”

White nodded. “He’s my father.” 

The man backed away, scoffing. “No wonder you’re so sure you’ll pass.” He sighed. “I bet you will. Goodluck with your interview.” He no longer sounded sincere.

White could feel the man’s sour glare, aimed towards his back, as he made his way to the interview room. He was used to people becoming friendly when they learnt his family name. The negative reaction was a new experience and White wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it.

"Where have you been?" His father asked in lieu of a greeting when White arrived home that evening. "Why didn't you answer my calls?"

“My phone died.” White lied. “What do you want to talk about?" 

"Don't you know anything at all?" His father’s fist was clenched into a fist, knuckles white.

White frowned. "Know what?"

"The answer you gave in the interview. You upset people."

"Ah." White replied dismissively. "That."

His father stood up, an imposing figure over White’s far smaller frame. "Don't you feel bad about it at all? Are you even listening to me?" His voice was growing louder and angrier with every word.

"I am and I don't think my answer caused any trouble."

"Tell me what your answer was." His father demanded. 

White sighed, explaining his honesty during the interview, that they should admit the human rights they were violating, to take blame and fix the problems.

"You said we must speak the truth?” His father repeated in disbelief. “That's not going to work." His father went on to explain the correct answer to the question. It made White’s blood boil.

"But dad, your answer is devoid of truth. I can't say that."

"Listen, White, we are not judges who can decide right and wrong. Diplomats must put the country's best interests first. That's your duty." 

"We must also consider the principle of humanity." White argued back, standing his ground. This was completely new territory for White, he hadn’t once spoken up against what his father had said, living his life by his father’s plans. It was only… recent events that had opened his eyes to the sheltered way of thinking that he had been raised around.

His father shook his head dismissively. "You don't understand." 

White had enough of the arguing, it was clear what his father was building up to say. He shifted his way from his left foot to his right, hands clutching the top of the dining table chair. His future, the only path he had ever known, was about to crumble. Despite his newly developed feelings on the state of his country's politics, White wasn’t quite ready to start his entire life over. "I failed, right?"

His father put his glass of wine down on the table between them. "You passed. What you said was right in a way, but it was too blunt. You're lucky that the juries like you. If you were some other guy, they'd have flunked you." 

White was brought back to what the man had said before his interview and the anger that was simmering throughout his entire body stilled. No wonder you’re so sure you’ll pass. White looked down at his feet, filled with shame at the realisation of what was happening. He hadn’t reached this point in his life due to his own intellect and hard work, not really. His father’s position in life guaranteed White his future no matter what he said or did. 

"Some other guy?" White said after a moment of silence, looking back up at his father. "I didn’t pass because I deserved it or because I worked hard. I passed because I'm your son. I passed because of connections .” 

"Don't talk about the ministry like that!" His father grew defensive. 

They continued to argue back and forth until White had had enough. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door he had not long walked in through, ignoring the calls from his father to get back inside.

Gumpa was working alone late when White arrived at the garage. He had stopped by Black’s apartment to change and swap his car for Black’s bike. He wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to stay at Black’s apartment, wasn’t sure why Gumpa’s offer to stay at the garage had felt so safe. But it did, and here he was, and he was a little afraid of what his current choices meant for his future.

“You finally decided?” Gumpa asked, wiping his hands on an already filthy rag.

“I guess so.” White replied quietly with a shrug, voice detached. 

“Are you in trouble?” Gumpa dumped the rag on a nearby stool.

White shifted his gaze from Gumpa to the empty garage. 

“It’s fine if you don’t want to talk.” Gumpa continued. “You can crash here for as long as you need.” 

White smiled, weak but appreciative. "Thanks."

Gumpa retrieved a blanket and pillow from a wardrobe on the second floor of the garage and handed them over to White as they approached Sean's bedroom. “You will sleep in the same room with Sean.”

A look of horror flashed over White's face. “Why do I have to sleep here?”

“Why not? His room has extra space for you. It shouldn’t be a problem.” 

Gumpa had to knock twice before Sean opened the door.

“What is it?” He asked, grumpy as ever.

Gumpa nodded his head in White’s direction. “Black will share the room with you.”

Sean gaped. “ Why? ”

“He’s in a bit of trouble.” Gumpa replied simply. “He will only stay for a month.”

Sean huffed, leaning his shoulder against the door frame and folding his arms. “Why can’t he stay with Gram?”

White hadn't even thought of Gram throughout all this. The garage had been his first instinct. He didn't even know where Gram lived .

“Gram lives with his parents.” Gumpa replied for White. 

Sean acknowledged White standing there for the first time during the conversation. “What trouble?” He asked, raising an eyebrow questioningly. 

White sighed, ignoring Sean, and turned to Gumpa. “It’s fine, really, I can stay somewhere else.” He pressed the blanket back into Gumpa’s arms.

Gumpa, unfortunately for both Sean and White, was persistent. “I own this garage. I have the right to tell you where to sleep.” He said matter-of-factly, dumping the blanket right back into White’s possession. 

“But I work here,” Sean continued to argue, “what does he do except take up space and eat your food?” He emphasised the question by jabbing a finger into White’s shoulder, causing him to stumble back a step.

“Stop arguing, Sean.” With a firm palm on his back, Gumpa shoved White into Sean’s room. “Give Black some clothes to borrow, too.” He gave Sean a pointed look. “It’s my place, my order.” With that he closed the door on Sean’s disgruntled face.

White stood in the doorway for a moment, took a sheepish look at Sean, and turned back around to leave. A hand holding the door closed got in his way.

“What?” Sean challenged White with a raised eyebrow, “Are you scared of me?”

White turned to face Sean, rolling his eyes. “Why would I be?” He dumped the blanket and pillow on Sean’s desk. “Where should I sleep?”

“Here,” Sean pointed to the dirty rug, “on the floor. That’s your place.”

White sat down on the bed, metal frame squeaking under his weight. He looked around the small space, eyes stopping on Sean who was rummaging through a draw, pulling out an old shirt. “You can have this, but don’t think of borrowing anything else.” The shirt was dropped into White’s lap. “Don’t think you’ll stay here comfortably.”

“Why,” White watched Sean as he sat down beside him on the bed, “what are you going to do to me?”

“What could I possibly do to you, Black? I put up with you for Gram, I wouldn’t do something that would hurt him.”

White looked away at the mention of Gram. He wanted to change the subject. “Clear your stuff and I’ll sleep there.” He pointed to the side of the bed littered with books and study materials.

“If you want to sleep here, do it yourself.” Sean scoffed.

White sighed and began gathering the textbooks and pens, struggling to hold everything. Sean rolled his eyes and helped by picking up the ashtray and placing it on the shelf above the bed while White placed the rest in a messy pile on the desk. White refrained from making a comment that the desk was where they belonged anyway.

“You read a lot.” White commented as he came back from washing up to find Sean reading.

“Why?” Sean replied, always defensive. “Someone like me doesn’t seem like a reader?”

“It’s not that.” White shrugged as he joined him on the bed. “I’m just surprised.”

Sean didn’t look up from the page he was on. “I must work hard. The more I read, the more I learn.” He closed the book, using this thumb to bookmark the page, and met White’s gaze. “I don’t have a judge mother like you.”

The mention of his mother caught White off guard. He hadn’t spoken to her since he left for Russia all those years ago. His father claimed to have no idea what she was doing or where she was, but Sean was seemingly aware of her occupation. That meant that Black, at some point, had at least opened up to the group about his family a little. He had held off on mentioning having an identical twin, at least.

“Don’t bring her up. She is no longer in my life.” This might have been the first thing White had said to Sean that wasn’t at least a slight lie.

“You started off a lot better than me, anyways.” Sean sat up. “Since the day you were born, you have been ahead of many others.”

White had never considered that, not really. He was aware his start held advantages, but the idea that maybe that was one of the reasons Sean was so angry, so hostile, towards Black, hadn’t crossed his mind before. White considered that maybe Todd was right, maybe it was one of Black's friend's that had wanted to hurt him, and maybe that friend was Sean.

Taking advantage of the opportunity of being in Sean’s bedroom, he waited for Sean to fall asleep before he slowly, so slowly because this bed was so damn squeaky , got up and started rummaging through Sean’s desk and bag. He was desperate for something, anything , that could lead him in the direction of the person responsible for putting Black in a coma. Especially if that person was someone acting as Black’s friend. 

“Hey!” White jumped, withdrawing a hand from Sean’s bag to twist his body around to look back at Sean who had woken up. “What the hell are you doing?”

White, one hand still in Sean’s bag, groped around until he felt plastic and grabbed it. He held it up to Sean as he took a handful of nuts and stuffed them into his mouth.

Sean looked at him in disbelief. “Are you stealing my food?” He pushed his sheets away and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

“I’m starving.” White mumbled around his mouthful.

Sean snatched the snack pot from White’s hand and pointed an accusing finger at him “Are you sure that’s all you’re doing?” Sean gave his desk draws a quick once over before dumping the snack pot on it and grabbing White by the arm. He pushed White back to the bed. “Come here. I will hold you like this so I know when you sneak away.”

“I can’t sleep like this!” White whined, but Sean’s hold on him was firm.

“That’s your problem, not mine.”

Chapter Text

White had thought he’d be in for a peaceful night once they had settled down, but he was woken only a couple hours later by Sean, asleep but with his face twisted in distress. He still had a tight grip on White’s wrist, his breathing heavy. In the faint light coming in through the curtainless window it looked as if Sean was crying, his breaths coming in ragged gasps.

“Sean.” White tried to shake him awake from his nightmare.

Still asleep, Sean rolled over to face White, throwing an arm over his smaller frame and drawing him in close, head tucked down towards White’s chest.

“Sean!” White moved his free hand to hold Sean’s head gently before moving it back down to his shoulder to attempt to wake him once more. When it continued to not work, White resigned himself to being held in this position despite the fact that it wasn’t the most comfortable.

White didn’t realise that he had fallen asleep again until he was being woken by the sun shining onto his face through the curtainless window. Noticing how tangled they had become, he tried to extricate his legs from between Sean’s, hoping to not wake the other up in the process.

However, White wasn’t having much luck recently. As quickly as he had freed himself Sean was pulling him back into his chest. White pushed on Sean’s shoulders, finally making him stir.

“Why are you hugging me?” Sean complained, voice thick and deep from just waking up.

“I’m not.” White rolled his tired eyes. “You are. It was like you were sick last night. I checked on you and you hugged me and wouldn’t let me go. That’s how I ended up like this.”

Sean laid back down with a groan. “Did I really do that?”

White opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by something being thrown into the bedroom, smoke filling the space quickly.
“It’s tear gas!” Sean yelled, the interruption swiftly waking him up.

They stumbled out of the bedroom together, coughing violently, their eyes burning as they gasped for clean air. They collapsed onto the floor of the landing outside of Sean’s room, their chests heaving. Before they could even process what had happened, cold water was dumped unceremoniously over them.

Spluttering, Sean wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. White, beside him, tensed at the sudden shock, his breath coming in short, sharp gasps. When they finally looked up, they found Gumpa standing over them, arms crossed, expression unreadable.

“You two took too long to realise it and get out.” He said, his voice calm, almost bored.

Sean’s teeth clenched, frustration flaring in his chest. “What the hell are you playing at?” He yelled, still blinking water from his eyes.

Gumpa didn’t flinch. “I’m not playing. I’m coaching you.”

White finally managed to pry his eyes open enough to shoot a glare at him. “Coaching what? We almost died.”

“If you could put out the gas quickly, you wouldn’t end up like this.”

Sean scoffed. “That’s your idea of coaching? We were sleeping, Gumpa. What were we supposed to do?”

“In a real situation, you’d be dead if you stayed still like that. You must always be wide awake.”

White exhaled sharply, still trying to shake the remnants of panic from his chest. “And what exactly were we supposed to do? That was a bedroom. We had no choice but to flee.”

Gumpa gave a slow nod, like he had expected that answer. “Black, there were blankets and water in your room. You had the tools to smother the gas before it spread.”

White scoffed. “Who could even think straight in a situation like that?”

“Someone with presence of mind.” Gumpa’s eyes flicked between them. “When you panic, you lose. Always be aware. Always be prepared.” And with that, he turned on his heel and walked away as if nothing had happened at all.

A silence settled between the two boys as they continued rinsing out their eyes.

Sean was the first to speak, his voice quieter now. “Why did you help me? You were happy to leave me behind and let me get suspended before. You said if we got caught, we had to admit what we did.”

“You remember every word I say?” White watched Sean for a moment, wondering what memory he must be recalling. He sighed, “I helped you because I knew Gumpa was testing us.”

Sean scoffed. “Yeah? That’s your excuse?”

“If I didn’t help, he would’ve yelled at me.”

Sean huffed, shaking his head. “So now you’re afraid of getting yelled at?”

White stood, shaking out his wet hair. “No. I’m just annoyed.” That wasn’t a lie.

Sean arched a brow. “Is that so?”

“Yes.” White cast him a final glance, his face void of emotion. “If that had been a real situation, I would’ve let you die. Don’t slow me down next time.”

With that, he turned and walked off towards the bathroom, leaving Sean alone in the hallway, drenched and exhausted.

It was way too early for this.

White left the garage while Sean and Gumpa were busy, riding Black’s bike to Todd’s apartment. Upon arrival, it was clear that Todd was still living the life of luxury that he and the twins had all been born into. A doorman had opened the front door for White and ushered him inside without question, leading him past the front desk and through shiny, modern hallways. 

A member of Todd’s staff barely acknowledged White when they reached the penthouse, motioning White inside while announcing his arrival. He found Todd lounging in a pool outside on a balcony, a crystal glass in hand, ice clinking softly against the sides as he swirled his drink. He looked more at ease than White had felt in a long time, not a care in the world.

“This is where you live?” White asked, stepping closer to the edge of the balcony. The city felt like it was beneath them, they were so high up. “How much is the rent?” He asked, looking over to Todd only to quickly avert his gaze as Todd stepped out of the pool, forgoing a towel as he picked up a robe. 

“I’m not renting it,” Todd smirked, “it’s my building.”

White snapped his head back to Todd. “Your building? How much is it?”

“No idea.” Todd shrugged as if the number was so insignificant he hadn’t bothered to remember it. “I got it after my dad died.”

The casual way Todd said it made White pause. There was no shift in his expression, no hint of grief, just the same ever present grin.

White frowned. “What was your father’s business?” He asked as he followed Todd through the apartment, the floors cool beneath his feet, the furniture immaculate and tastefully expensive.
“Import, export, produce, retail. Whatever it is, I do it all.” He said it with a smirk, gloating.

White scoffed. “You’re imperial,” he said, shaking his head, “I should start calling you President Todd.”

Todd stopped in his tracks, turning to face White with a glint in his eye. “No,” he corrected, “you should call me Mr. President Todd.”

White let out a laugh as Todd sauntered over to the bar, pouring them both a drink. “So,” Todd said, handing White a glass, “did you stop by for a reason? Find anything new about Black’s friends?”

White took his phone out, unlocking it with a swipe before pulling up a video. “I found a girl. She was Black’s girlfriend. Do you know her?”

Todd took the phone, watching the screen with mild interest. “Hmm… I’m not sure. He never mentioned anyone to me.” He replied with a shrug.

White nodded, it made sense. Black had never mentioned Gram to Todd either, he seemed to keep his romantic relationships pretty private. 

“You should meet up with her,” Todd said, setting the phone down.

White blinked. “Huh? Why would I do that?”

Todd rolled his eyes, “Maybe she’s mad about the breakup. Black’s the type to leave a relationship messily, isn’t he?”

White couldn’t argue with that.

Todd leaned over the bar, propping himself up on his elbows. “She probably goes to the same university as Black. And the whole reason you’re in this-” he reached over to tug on the distressed denim jacket White was wearing, “-Black impersonation thing is to find out who hurt him. You can’t do that if you don’t know the people around him.” He picked up the phone again, scrolling through Black’s contacts. “What did you say her name was?”

“Eugene.”

Todd raised the phone to his ear.

“Hey! Are you calling her?” White reached for the phone, but Todd dodged him, pressing a finger to his lips to shush him as the call rang.

White tensed, only relaxing when it went to voicemail.

Todd handed the phone back with a smirk. “If she calls back, arrange to meet up.”
“Why?”

Todd rolled his eyes. “What are you afraid of? You’re basically a copy-paste of Black, she won’t know the difference.” Then he grinned, sharp and teasing. “Or are you afraid something sexy might happen between you two?”

White’s face twisted in irritation. “Are you nuts? I'm not afraid of anything happening, stop joking around."

Todd laughed, throwing his head back. “Relax, I’m kidding. Mostly.” Then his voice dropped to something more calculating. “But seriously, if she won’t meet up… follow her.”

“You’re late.” Gram said in lieu of a greeting when he spotted White walking towards him.

“I slept in.” 

“Have you eaten?” White shook his head. Gram sighed and pushed a smoothie towards him. “At least have this then.”

White accepted it gratefully, the cold of the drink seeping through his fingers as he took a sip. “Thanks.”

He settled onto the bench as Gram and Nuch launched into an animated debate over their latest exam, each convinced they had the right answers. White only half listened, letting their voices blur into the background noise of the cafeteria, only snapping back to attention when Gram’s phone buzzed.

“I’ll be back.” Gram said, already stepping away to take the call.

Nuch stood as well, gathering her things. “Don’t forget we have another exam coming up soon.” She reminded White before heading out.

White waved her off, and as soon as she was out of sight, he stood up and hurried in the direction Gram had disappeared in. Peeking around the corner, he spotted him talking to Eugene.

Why was Gram talking to her? No, why was he hugging her?

White’s stomach twisted. He slipped back to the table, his mind racing. Gram had been upset at the mere thought of Black looking at old messages, yet here he was, secretly meeting with his ex. Todd’s warning echoed in his head.

What if Eugene and Gram were working together against Black?

Gram returned to the table a few minutes later and he took a seat next to White, so close that their arms brushed. Without a word, he reached under the table, his fingers finding White’s and taking his hand.

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.” White replied, squeezing the hand holding his, acting as if nothing was the matter. “Hey, can you help me study tonight?”

“You,” Gram looked at him incredulously, “want to study?”

“Let’s do it at your place,” White added, ignoring the surprise on Gram’s face. “It’s distracting at the garage.”

“Sure, whatever you want.” He said, voice softer now. “Feels like forever since we spent time with just us.”

White let himself smile, squeezing Gram’s hand again. “Yeah. It does. I’ll meet you at your place after classes, I need to go back to the garage first.”

Gram nodded, smiling, “Sure.”

All White wanted was to take a shower and a nap before he headed over to Gram’s, but the moment he stepped into Sean’s room, he froze. There, on his side of the bed, lay a girl curled up beside Sean.

Without thinking White slammed his helmet onto the desk with a loud thud. The noise jolted them both awake. The girl sat up slowly, rubbing sleep from her eyes. “Oh… Black?”

Sean blinked blearily at him. “You’re back?”

White didn’t answer. His eyes were locked on the bed, on her, tangled in the sheets with Sean.

The girl swung her legs over the side, reaching for a t-shirt from the floor and grabbing her bag. “I’ll get going.”
Sean frowned. “Why?”

“Well, the house owner is back.”

“I’ll take you home,” Sean said through a yawn, standing to pull on a pair of jeans.

As they headed for the door, White stepped into their path, shoulder-checking Sean as he passed. 

Sean stumbled slightly and turned back with an irritated glare. “What the hell?”

White didn’t answer. He didn’t have an answer. Not one that made sense anyway. He just knew he didn’t like it. Didn’t like seeing someone else in his space. Didn’t like seeing her in his bed.

Sean returned quicker than expected, tossing his helmet onto the desk. “Namo says you have a problem.”

White shook his head. “No. I don’t have any problem with you.”

Sean scoffed. “So you have a problem with her?”

White exhaled sharply, eyes darting towards the bed before returning to Sean. “I don’t like it when people sleep in my spot.”

Sean’s brow furrowed. “Your spot?”

White’s jaw tightened. “Yes.”

Sean let out a disbelieving chuckle. “It’s my room.”

“Can you just go somewhere else next time? I don’t know if you left a stain on the bed.”

“I did.” Sean grinned, smug. “It’s everywhere. I did everything in your spot.”

“I know you’re an asshole,” White said, stepping closer, “but I didn’t know you were this horrible.”

Sean rolled his eyes. “Why are you being territorial? It’s just a bed.”

“Sleeping space is personal. Is that so hard to understand?”

Sean suddenly stepped closer, his frame towering over White’s. The air in the room thickened with tension. “Oh, I understand it well,” he murmured, “because this used to be my space, until you took it.”

“You just put your stuff all over it.”

“It’s my room.”

“But right now, that spot is mine.” The words came out before White could think. He didn’t know why he was arguing. He didn’t know why this mattered so much. But it did.
Sean studied him for a moment before abruptly shoving his shoulder. “Are you that possessive?” Another shove.

White shoved him back, harder. “Yes! My spot. My stuff.”

Sean smirked. “Your stuff?” With one last push he sent White sprawling backwards onto the bed. Sean was suddenly on top of him before he could react, pinning him down with the blanket and the weight of his body. “Then get some sleep in your spot.”

White struggled, twisting against the sheets, trying to shove Sean off. After a brief scuffle he managed to flip them over, freeing himself from the tangle. His breath came fast, chest rising and falling as he loomed over Sean, his hands gripping the sheets on either side of him.

“What do you want from me?!” White snapped.

Sean, caught off guard by the sudden shift, just stared up at him, his expression unreadable. The silence stretched between them, thick and heavy. Something in White snapped. He tore himself away, grabbed his helmet and bag, and stormed out without another word. Gram wouldn’t mind if he turned up a little early for their study date.

“Well now I know something’s wrong.” Gram said when he opened the door. “You’re early.”

“I guess I was just excited to see you.”

Gram motioned for White to enter, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pressing a kiss to his forehead once the door was closed. The action made White’s mind go back to earlier, Gram’s arm around Eugene’s shoulders. 

“I saw you.” The words slipped out before White could stop them.

Gram’s brow furrowed. “Saw me where?”

“When you left to take the phone call, you were talking to Eugene.” 

The smile faded from Gram’s face. He dropped White’s hand. “Oh.”

White leaned back against the door. “Why were you with her?”

Gram sighed, running a hand through his hair. “She wanted to talk, that’s all.”

White arched a brow. “And that involved you putting your arm around her?”

Gram scoffed, a flicker of irritation crossing his face. “Are you serious right now?”

“I don’t know. You tell me.”

“She’s a friend, okay? That’s all.”

“You’re friends with his - with my ex?” White corrected himself quickly. My ex. Talking about Black’s life like it was his own felt foreign, made him feel like he was stealing his twin’s life right from under him.

Gram let out a sharp, humourless laugh. “You broke her heart, and she was part of our group. What, am I supposed to pretend she doesn’t exist?”

White’s jaw tightened. “You lost it when you saw her name on my phone, but now you’re meeting up with her like it’s nothing?” His voice was sharper than he meant, but he didn’t take it back. Black would’ve pushed. At least, that’s the impression he had gained of his brother over the last few weeks.

Gram’s expression darkened. “That was different."

“How?”

Gram turned away instead of answering, heading into the kitchen. He opened a cabinet with more force than necessary and took out a glass, but didn’t fill it. He held it, moving it from one hand to the other for something to focus on that wasn’t his boyfriend’s accusing face. “The difference is that you dated her, Black.”

White followed him into the kitchen and leant against the counter. “Why did you meet up with her?”

Gram studied him for a long moment, then exhaled, slow and measured. He set the glass down. “She wanted to talk because you tried to call her last night. She thought I should know.”

Todd’s unanswered call. White tried his best to keep his expression neutral. “That’s all? You couldn’t have had this conversation over the phone?”

Gram brushed past White to pick his bag up and pulled a black shirt out from it. “She also found one of your shirts in her wardrobe.” He said, dumping it on the counter.

White stared at the clothing. “Oh.”

“I was scared, Black.” Gram said, vulnerability suddenly thick in his voice. “Your ex-girlfriend texts me saying you called her and she has to return your clothes? What am I supposed to make of that?” 

White forced himself to meet Gram’s eyes, even as guilt clawed at the edges of his resolve. “I called her by accident.” He reached for Gram’s hand, brushing his thumb over his knuckles. “That’s all.”

Gram didn’t pull away, but he didn’t relax either. “You’re a pain in the ass.” He muttered.

White huffed a laugh, tilting his head. “Yeah, well, you love me anyway.”

Gram rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched like he was fighting a smile. “Unfortunately.”

White took a step closer, his free hand moving to Gram’s waist, fingertips pressing lightly against the fabric of his shirt. “Fortunate for me, though.” He grinned.

Gram let out a soft breath and shook his head like he couldn’t believe he was letting his boyfriend off so easily. White couldn’t believe it either. He lifted a hand, cupping the side of White’s face, his thumb grazing just under his cheekbone. “I hate when you do this.” He admitted.

“Do what?” White asked, leaning into his touch.

“Get under my skin. Make me mad, then,” Gram exhaled, then tugged him the rest of the way so that their bodies were pressed together, “make me forget why I was mad at you in the first place.”

“I’m the one that’s mad at you! Meeting and hugging a girl in secret.”

Gram kissed him before he could keep going, pulling him in with an intensity that made White’s breath hitch. “Am I forgiven?” Gram murmured when they finally broke apart, foreheads resting together.

White narrowed his eyes playfully. “Don’t push it.”

“If you ever call your ex again, even by accident-”

White forced a grin and held up his hands. “I’ll delete her number.”

Gram’s fingers stilled on his jaw. “That’s it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You usually fight back longer.” 

White let out a light chuckle, but something in his stomach twisted. He was right. Black probably would’ve argued, would’ve thrown out some half serious joke just to push the argument further simply because he could.

White shrugged it off. “Guess I’m feeling generous today.”

Gram threw himself onto his bed. “I shouldn’t have trained with Yok earlier.” He groaned. “It’s caught up with me.” 

White sat down on the floor, opening his bag to take his books out as Gram wrestled himself out of his t-shirt. He sat up to drop it in front of White on the floor. 

“Black, can we study tomorrow? I’m so drained.” He layed back down on his bed, one arm behind his head and the other stretched out. “You can crash here tonight.” 

White pulled himself off the floor to sit on the edge of the bed. “We can’t. We have to study tonight.”

Gram groaned, stretching both arms above his head. “What topic?” 

Ignoring the question, White asked instead, “Why hasn’t Sean revealed his plan yet? All we know is that he wants to sneak into the factory.”

Gram’s relaxed expression turned into a frown. He sat up, leaning in close to White. “Are you here to study for the exam or to study Sean?”

White shrugged, trying to be nonchalant. “What if his plan doesn’t work?”

Gram circled his arms around White’s waist, toppling them both over so that he was laying on his back again, White on top of him. “You should be focused on me, not Sean.” He leant up and kissed White, hand coming up to hold the back of White’s head. 

White let the kiss go on for a while until he felt Gram’s hands brush down his back slowly, rucking up his shirt, and sliding his rough hands underneath. White pulled away, sitting up in Gram’s lap, legs either side of Gram’s own. “Wait!”

Gram, surprised, took his hands back and gave White space. As much space as he could, with White still in his lap. “What’s wrong, Black?” 

“Um…”

Gram lent up on his elbows, watching White carefully. “We don’t have to do anything. It’s just, well… it’s been a while…”

White hung his head, unsure of how to get out of this. He didn’t want to take this too far, not with someone he didn’t have feelings for and certainly not with his brother’s boyfriend. “I’m just kind of hungry?” 

Gram raised an eyebrow. “Hungry? You’re hungry?”

White nodded. “Yes.” 

Gram scoffed. “Then I’ll get you something.” He ran his hand over White’s bare arms, a soft smile replacing the concerned look he was giving him. “Anything specific?”

“No,” White shook his head, “whatever you have.” 

“Okay.” Gram gently moved White from his lap, pressing a kiss to his forehead before leaving.

White took advantage of the time alone in Gram’s room to snoop, looking for any indication that he might have had a reason to hurt Black. After opening he didn’t know how many draws and boxes, White came across something that caught his eye. A label, hidden beneath jewellery, with cartoon versions of the figures on Black’s bedside table. 

He read the note aloud, “I’m sorry for thinking of you as more than just a friend?"

“What?” 

White dropped the box he was holding in surprise, necklaces scattering at his feet. “Shit. Sorry.” 

“Black?” Gram put the bowl in his hands down on his desk and crouched beside White, who was frantically picking up the mess he’d made, label still in his hand. “Were you… going through my stuff?” 

“No - no - I was, um, looking for a charger?”

“In a box… in my draw…?”

White shrugged. “Sorry for… dropping it.” 

Gram watched as White put everything back, closing the box. “Um… here.” 

“You forgot the note.” 

“Oh.” 

“The charger is by my bed. Like always.” 

“Thanks.” 

“The food is over here for you.” 

“Thanks.” 

Gram sighed. “Am I going to get an answer as to why you were going through my stuff?”

White looked down at the box in his hands, and instead of answering Gram's question asked, “Why do you have this?”

Gram took the note from White’s hand. “I was going to give it to you when I gave you the figurines. I chickened out last minute.” 

White breathed a laugh. “You? Not confident?” 

Gram smiled a little. “You’re scary.”

“Am not.”

Gram pulled White into a hug from behind, hooking his chin over his shoulder. “You know I only asked you to teach me how to ride because I didn’t know how else to talk to you. I didn’t even want to learn. All I knew about you was that you had your precious bike.”

White found himself smiling at the admission. “Cute.” 

“Huh?”

White turned around and put his hands on his shoulders. Play the part, he reminded himself. He couldn’t be caught or he could end up like Black. “I said you’re cute.” 

Gram scoffed. “Whatever.” Despite his words, he was doing a terrible job at hiding his smile. White leant up and kissed Gram deeply, smiling when he eventually pulled away.

Gram pushed him away when he tried to lean in again. “Eat your food.” 

White shrugged. “I’m not that hungry anymore.” 

“Are you serious?” 

“I can eat now if you want-”

Gram cut him off with a kiss, pulling White in so that they were as close as they possibly could be. He only pulled away to drag White back over to the bed. “Later, you can eat later.” 

Gram’s hands were warm against White’s skin, pressing him closer. White could feel the heat of his body, the way Gram’s breathing shifted as he deepened the kiss, fingers ghosting along his spine. It would have been easy to lose himself in it. Too easy.

But he couldn’t. Because this wasn’t his moment to have. This wasn’t his boyfriend.

Gram sighed into his mouth, pulling White fully onto the bed, settling him beneath him. The intimacy of it all made White’s heart pound, but not just from desire. Guilt pooled in his stomach, an undeniable pressure. He shouldn’t be doing this. He wasn’t Black and no matter how well he played the part, this wasn’t something he could fake.

Yet, Gram touched him like he belonged here. Like he had always belonged here. His lips traced down White’s neck, lingering over his pulse and White found himself reacting before he could think better of it, fingers weaving through Gram’s hair, body arching instinctively towards the warmth. He heard Gram inhale sharply.

"You okay?" Gram whispered, his voice gentle.

No, White wanted to say. This isn’t right. You shouldn’t be touching me like this, shouldn’t be looking at me like that. This moment isn’t mine. Instead, he forced a smile, nodding. "Yeah. Just… like you said, it’s been a while."

Gram’s expression softened, brushing a thumb over White’s cheek tenderly. "We don’t have to rush."

White should stop this. He should push Gram away before he let this go too far, before he did something he couldn’t take back. But Gram kissed him again, slower this time, like he was savoring it, and White’s resolve wavered. He could let this happen. Just for now. Just long enough to play his role, to keep the act going.

Gram’s hands slipped beneath White’s shirt, dragging it up over his head before settling back on his skin, exploring. White swallowed hard, letting Gram press kisses along his collarbone, down his chest. His stomach tightened, but whether it was from anticipation or guilt, he wasn’t sure.

“Relax,” Gram murmured, lips trailing lower, fingers splaying over White’s ribs, "you’re so tense."

White forced himself to breathe, to match the rhythm of Gram’s movements. His body was reacting, but his mind was somewhere else, screaming that this wasn’t right. That he was stealing something that wasn’t his to take.

Then Gram’s hand slid lower, and White’s breath hitched. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ground himself, trying to ignore the voice in his head telling him to stop. Because if he stopped now, Gram might start asking questions. Might realise something was off, and he couldn’t let that happen, his cover couldn’t be blown.

So, White let himself fall into it. Let himself be kissed, touched, unraveled under Gram’s hands. Pretended, just for tonight, that this was real. That it was meant for him.

Even if, in the morning, he knew it would be a lie and that the guilt would eat him alive. Black really might just kill him when he woke up.

Chapter Text

White woke to the sound of his phone buzzing on the bedside table. He reached over Gram to grab it, but Gram was faster.

“Gram, no-”

“Hello?”

“White?”

“Huh?” Gram pulled the phone away from his ear to glance at the caller ID. “Who’s Todd?”

White snatched the phone from Gram’s hand, covering the microphone with his other. “Why did you answer it?” He hissed.

“I thought it was mine.” Gram groaned and rolled over, pressing his face against White’s bare chest with a contented smile. “Who is it? And why did he call me White?”

“Oh, it’s just… an old friend. It’s a running joke because of my name.”

Gram huffed a laugh. “Sure, okay.”

White wiggled in Gram’s hold. “Gram, I need to take this call.”

“I’m not stopping you.”

White rolled his eyes. “I’d like to talk in private. Let me up.” He gave Gram’s back a light smack. 

With a sigh, Gram relented, but not before pressing a kiss to White’s cheek. White quickly dressed in yesterday’s clothes and slipped into the bathroom.

“Sorry about that.”

Todd was laughing. “What did you do last night? Was sleeping with your brother’s boyfriend vital to the mission?”

“Shut up!” White groaned. “He was getting suspicious, I think.”

“Black’s going to murder you if he finds out.” Todd wasn’t exactly saying anything new.

“I’m aware.” White leaned against the bathroom counter. “So, why are you calling so early?”

“We should meet. The police got back to me about their investigation."

“I’m at Gram’s place right now. I’ll send you the address and meet you at the end of the street?”

“Sure. Make sure to say goodbye to your boyfriend.”

“Asshole." White hung up, still able to hear Todd’s laughter even without the phone pressed to his ear.

When he stepped back into the bedroom, Gram was sitting up on his elbows watching him from the bed.

“You’re leaving?”

There was disappointment in his voice, and White tried to ignore the guilt settling in his chest. “Yeah, sorry. I’ll talk to you later, though?”

Gram sighed, flopping onto his back. “Sure.”

“I don’t want to rush off.”

“Then don’t.”

“I have to.”

“It’s fine.” Gram waved him off dismissively. “You always do this.”

White frowned. “I do?”

Gram huffed. “Yeah. You like your privacy and you’ve made it very clear that not even your boyfriend gets to know what’s going on in your head.”

“I’m sorry.” And he was. His brother was terrible at relationships, but White wasn’t much better.

“Just go.” Gram waved him off without looking. “See you later.”

White gathered his things and left without glancing back. He didn’t want to see the hurt on Gram’s face.

“The cops finally caught the guys who did it, but they’re calling it just an altercation.” Todd commented as he parked.

White watched a tired looking woman buckle her toddler into a car a few spaces away. “I don’t think that’s all it was.”

Todd hummed in agreement. “I’m with you. The way the police are brushing it off makes me think this is bigger than just Black’s friends.”

“He hates Tawi…” White mused, still watching the small family as they drove off.

“I’ll have my lawyer talk to the police, see what else we can do.”

White turned to Todd. “Have you spoken to my mother? She might be able to help.”

Todd nodded. “I reached out but she said she’s leaving it to the authorities. She wants no involvement.”

White leaned back in his seat. Black had never kept a good relationship with their mother, but refusing to help him get justice? That was cold. “Should I go see her?”

Todd shrugged. “You can but I doubt it’ll change anything. They cut contact when Black walked away from his diplomatic future, and it only got worse when he got involved with those friends of his. She’s a judge, it’s natural that she doesn’t agree with what they do. They’re on opposite sides.”

White exhaled, nodding. 

“What about the gang? Do you know what their next move is? Is this about Tawi?”

“No idea.” White admitted. “I’m trying to find out.”

“Just don’t get caught,” Todd warned. “Especially not by the boyfriend."

White groaned at the mention of Gram. “Please don’t bring him up.”

Todd chuckled. “Oh I will always bring it up. You did a terrible thing just to save your own ass.” He clapped White on the shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”

White shoved him away, crossing his arms with a pout as he stared out the windshield. The family had gone. “Whatever. Can we just go see Black now?”

Inside, Black looked better than the last time White had seen him, less bruised, fewer tubes.

“He doesn’t need a ventilator anymore.” Todd said from the foot of the bed, giving the brothers their space. “But they still don’t know when he’ll wake up.”

White scanned his brother’s injuries, relieved to see him looking a little more like himself. “You don’t really think Tawi is behind this, do you?”

Todd sighed. “Black causes trouble everywhere he goes. I wouldn’t put it past him to piss off someone as powerful as Tawi.”

White didn’t reply, gaze fixed on his brother.

"Did you really need to go that far?" White grouched. Calling what the gang had just done a prank was an understatement, but he didn’t know what else to call it. Sean had called him, pretending to be kidnapped, and when White had raced to the garage to help he got ‘kidnapped’ too.

"Sean asked me to come up with a test for you. He needs to be able to trust us."

Yok was glaring at White from across the table.

"He wants to sneak into Tawi’s factory, but it’s dangerous. What do you think will happen if we’re caught? If our identities are exposed?"

"It’s better than you dying."

"You were skeptical about the plan the other day." Gram pointed out.

White looked down at the beer he had been nursing all evening. Of course he had questioned Sean's plan, being diplomatic was in his nature.

"I just want to make sure we’re doing this for the right reasons. That it’s not pointless." He lifted his gaze towards Yok. "People might think we’re just attacking him out of hatred. We’ll never gain real support if we don’t stand for something."

Gram pulled White into his lap, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss to his neck. "My boyfriend’s so smart, isn’t he?"

White elbowed him gently. "I’m still mad at you for going along with it."

"Shit, I think I drank too much, Black is starting to make sense." Yok laughed, breaking the tension in the room. "Hey, where did Sean go?"

"Probably to bed. He’s a lightweight."

White set down his empty can. "I’ll go check on him."

Gram tightened his grip around White’s waist. "Why? He’s fine."

"I left a book in his room. Need to grab it anyway."

Yok smirked. "What, afraid he’s gonna kiss Sean behind your back?"

"No!" Gram frowned. "Of course not."

White rolled his eyes. "I just want to make sure he hasn’t fallen and cracked his head open."

"Fine." Gram pressed a kiss to White’s jaw before releasing him. "Don’t take too long."

"So clingy!" Yok teased as White climbed the ladder.

In the bedroom, Sean was sprawled across the bed. White shut the door with more force than necessary, jolting him awake. He pulled out the desk chair and pried the half empty can from Sean’s hand.

"I want to talk."

Sean groaned. "What the hell?" His voice was sluggish with sleep. "You don’t seem like the same person. Not the Black I used to know."

White swallowed. "Time changes people. I used to think differently, but I see the bigger picture now. I can’t go back."

"Your eyes are open now, huh?" Sean hummed, his speech slightly slurred. He reached out, fingertips brushing White’s face. 

White sighed, grabbing Sean’s wrist. He never liked dealing with drunk people. "Think whatever you want. Just don’t push me out because I don’t think like you."

Sean studied him for a moment, then smiled. "I never wanted to push you out. I just needed to know if you were still the same."

White exhaled, his grip loosening. "Listen, Sean. I was reckless before, but now I’m more concerned about survival. If we stay alive, if we walk together, we can go further."

Sean nodded, his gaze unfocused. "Since when did you start believing your life was more than your ideology?" He paused. "Was it the fire? Or did something happen when you disappeared?"

Technically, Sean was right, but White wasn’t about to let him know that.

White sighed. “Are you sure dying for what you believe in is the right thing? Let me give you an example. Say you cross the street at a crosswalk without looking, because you believe it’s the right thing to do. You don’t care whether the approaching car stops or not. It hits you, and you die. What does that prove? Who’s going to know you did it to stand up for what’s right? That the car should’ve stopped, as the law says? No. People will just call you an idiot for not looking before you crossed.”

Sean’s jaw tightened. “So you’re just going to let those assholes keep doing whatever they want? Our society’s already gotten used to it.” His voice raised with frustration.

White stayed calm. “The crosswalk is just an example, but it represents a bigger problem - weak laws, poor enforcement, common sense, discipline. Do you really think dying is going to fix any of that? How many people will actually see the real problem behind your death?”

“You don’t get it.” Sean pushed White back and stood up, his movements unsteady. “You have no idea how much this means to me. I’ve been waiting for so long. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it.”

White exhaled slowly, trying to keep his own frustration in check. He reached out, guiding Sean back onto the bed. “I’m not telling you to give up on taking revenge on Tawi. I’m just asking you to be careful.”

Sean’s fingers clenched around White’s collar, pulling him close. “That’s not your job. Just focus on my plan.”

It was becoming obvious to White that Sean was too drunk for this conversation. He shifted, moving to sit beside him. “Sean, have you even been listening?”

“I’m listening.” Sean grinned and ruffled White’s hair before leaning in, resting his head against his shoulder.

“Stop it.” White groaned, trying to push the heavier man off.

“I am.”

“Sean! Let go.”

But Sean ignored him, pinching his cheeks instead. “I am listening.” He grinned, pushing White back until he was pinned under his weight.

“You’re damn heavy.”

“What’s going on?”

White turned his head and saw Gram standing in the doorway. Relief flooded him. “A little help here?”

Without hesitation, Gram grabbed Sean by the arms and hauled him off. Their drunk friend rolled over onto the bed like nothing had happened.

“Thanks.” White took Gram’s offered hand and pulled himself up. “Why’d you come up?”

“You said you were just grabbing a book.”

“Oh, right. We started talking and lost track of time.”

Gram nodded but didn’t look convinced.

White raised an eyebrow. “What? You think I was up here trying to sleep with Sean or something?” Gram looked down at his feet, and White’s eyes widened. “Wait… really?”

Gram shrugged, suddenly shy. “You spend a lot of time with him.”

White huffed. “You do realize we can’t even be in the same room without punching each other?”

“I know, but… I’m sorry. I know it’s annoying when I get insecure.”

“Hey.” White stepped closer, tilting Gram’s chin up. “Don’t apologize for how you feel.”

Gram blinked in surprise. “Okay.”

“I’m gonna stay at the garage tonight, though. Shouldn’t drive home after drinking.”

Gram snorted. “Since when has that ever stopped you?”

“Since now. And you shouldn’t either. Take the couch downstairs.”

“Whatever you say, little boss.” Gram smirked, raising his hands in mock surrender.

White shoved him with a playful glare. “Don’t call me that.”

White woke to the sound of muttering from Sean’s side of the bed. Blinking sleep from his eyes, he rolled over to find Sean still asleep, his brows furrowed, his face twisted in distress.

“Are you sick?” White murmured, more to himself than to Sean, pressing the back of his hand to the other’s cheek. “Sean?”

Sean let out a quiet, pained sound and curled into White, gripping onto him tightly, his face buried against White’s chest. His shoulders trembled. Was he crying?

White sighed, staring over Sean’s head into the dark room, wondering what could possibly be haunting him so badly. He let Sean cling to him and, eventually, drifted back to sleep.

By the time White woke again, sunlight was streaming through the window. Sometime in the night, they’d drifted apart, though Sean’s head still rested on White’s arm, their bodies turned towards each other.

“What are you doing?” Sean grumbled, his voice thick with sleep. He pushed White away, causing him to stir with a groan. “Why did you put your arm under my neck?”

White winced, shaking out his stiff arm. “You’re the one who pulled it there.”

Sean frowned. “Me?”

“I stuck it out to support your neck, I guess.” White muttered, irritated that Sean was acting like this was his fault.

Sean huffed. “Why are you even here?”

“I didn’t want to drive home after drinking. Gram is downstairs, too.”

Sean nodded, seemingly accepting the explanation. After a pause, he glanced at White. “So… what did I do exactly?”

White shrugged. “You were dreaming. I tried to wake you up, but you just clung to me.”

Sean shifted, looking at least a little sheepish. “Aren’t you going to ask me what I dreamt about?”

“No.” White rubbed the stiffness from his neck. “If you wanted to tell me, you would’ve already.”

Sean exhaled sharply. “Next time, just kick me awake so your arm doesn’t end up under my neck.”

White groaned and shoved him away with both feet. “Sure.” He turned over, determined to steal a few more moments of sleep.

But Sean wasn’t done. “Get up." He said, kicking White’s leg.

White grumbled. “For what?”

“The mission is tonight.”

White froze. Tonight? That was too soon. How was he supposed to talk Sean out of it before then?

“Get up!” Sean kicked him again.

Before White could snap back, a voice interrupted them.

“Will you two stop yelling so early?” Gram stood at the bedroom door, rubbing his eyes. “And why are you kicking my boyfriend?”

Sean rolled his eyes. “Your boyfriend started it.”

Gram chuckled. “Yeah, I believe that.”

“Hey!” White sat up, pouting at Gram. “You should be on my side.”

“Sorry, baby.” Gram said with a teasing smile.

They gathered in the garage, floor plans of the factory spread across the table. The air smelled of oil and dust, thick with tension. Sean explained the plan and the more he spoke, the tighter White’s grip became on the arm of the couch.

“Black, you pour the bitterant into this tank.” Sean handed him a flask. White hesitated. Sean narrowed his eyes. “Did you hear me?”

“I did,” White admitted, turning the flask in his hands, “but do we really need this?”

Sean exhaled sharply. “Just do it and get out.”

White unscrewed the cap, then pointed the flask at Gram. “You taste it.”

Gram recoiled. “What?”

“If you won’t taste it, how can we be sure it’s safe?”

Yok grabbed the flask, poured some powder into his palm and sniffed. “No scent.”

Gram rolled his eyes, taking the flask from Yok and shoving it back into White’s hands. “I don’t eat bitter things. You try it.”

White tipped some powder into his hand. “Are you sure it’s safe?”

Gram hesitated. “I researched it.”

Yok smacked the back of Gram’s head. “You researched it but won’t taste it?”

While they bickered, White licked the powder. Instantly, he gagged, coughing hard.

Gram was on his feet in seconds, shoving a water bottle into White’s hand, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“It’s fucking bitter.” White choked out.

Gram chuckled. “Obviously. You ate it straight.”

White grimaced. “I can still taste it.”

Sean held out a hand. “Open your mouth.”

“Why-”

Sean shoved a sweet between White’s lips. “Suck on it. The sugar will kill the bitterness.”

Gram clenched his fists. Why hadn’t he thought of that? It was always Sean. Always Sean knowing exactly what to do when his boyfriend was in trouble.

Sean turned back to the plans. “Black and I will handle the bitterant. You two, get your stuff.”

White tried to stall. “This stuff is too damn bitter.”

Sean’s patience thinned. “It’s the best way. Don’t screw this up.”

White clenched his jaw. “Think about the people drinking it. They’ll hate us.”

“They already do.” Sean snapped. “Every time we act, we’re condemned.”

“This is different,” White insisted, “they’re the ones who’ll suffer.”

Sean shook his head, uninterested. “If you’re scared, stay here.”

“I’m not scared. I want this to work.”

“Then promise you won’t sabotage the plan.”

White looked away.

“Promise me.”

White hummed noncommittally. Apparently, that was enough for Sean, who resumed preparations. Yok and Gram exchanged a look but said nothing. Arguing with Sean was pointless.

White sat still, worry gnawing at his gut. He should have stayed in Russia.

“You ever think about wearing gloves?” White muttered after Sean had broken into the warehouse. “You’re leaving prints everywhere.”

Sean scoffed. “Relax. No one in our group has a record. Fingerprint analysis isn’t that easy.” Then, with more bite, he added, “You said we’re doing my plan, so stop questioning it.”

White exhaled through his nose, biting back a retort. Did Sean really think that logic held up? Still, he followed, crouching as they crept up the staircase. Sean slipped into the security room, eyes locked on the monitors as White navigated toward the manufacturing area.

Outside, Gram and Yok were growing restless.

“What time is it?” Yok asked.

“Wait a little longer.” Gram replied. They pulled down their masks, leaning against the pallets.

“You think Sean’s plan will work?” Gram asked.

“It will.” Yok said confidently. “We’re prepared.”

Gram frowned. “All we’ve got are smoke bombs. What if we don’t cause enough confusion? What if they get caught?”

Yok smirked. “You mean, what if Black gets caught?”

Gram looked away, a flicker of guilt crossing his face. “He’s been weird lately. Not himself.” He sighed. “One moment, he’s cold, barely talks to me. The next, it’s like we’re back at the start, before everything…”

“Before what?”

Gram groaned, rubbing his face. “Forget it.”

Yok wasn’t letting him off that easy. “No, no. What, he’s different with you?”

“He usually… takes charge when we’re alone.”

Yok chuckled. “Black takes charge everywhere. You’re gonna have to be more specific.”

“Please don’t make me say it.”

“But I don’t think I understand.”

“I hate this conversation.”

Yok laughed, but his gaze sharpened. “He’s been like that with everything lately, hasn’t he?”

Gram hummed in agreement.

After a beat, Yok tilted his head. “Can I ask you something?”

Gram nodded.

Yok reached out, fingers resting on the side of Gram’s neck, thumb ghosting over his cheek. “Ever look into someone’s eyes and know they’re different from everyone else?”

Gram frowned. “What’s gotten into you?”

Yok hesitated, then grinned and pulled back. “Doesn’t work with your eyes.”

Gram huffed a laugh, looking up at the sky. “Of course it doesn’t.” He turned back to Yok. “You’re a sucker for love.”

Yok’s smile lingered, but there was something distant in his expression. Gram wondered who he was thinking about.

“You don’t understand.” Yok murmured.

“How do you know that?”

“You’re with Black.” Yok snorted. “That man doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.”

Gram scoffed. “Just because he doesn’t act like a lovesick teenager doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. The first time our eyes locked, I fell. Hard."

Yok didn’t reply, and silence settled between them.

After a while, Gram admitted quietly, “Sometimes… I’m afraid it’s one-sided.”

Yok blinked, surprised. “Why?”

Gram exhaled, voice barely above a whisper. “Like you said… Black isn’t romantic. And since the fire, he’s different. I’m scared he doesn’t want this anymore.”

Yok shook his head. “Black’s honest, brutally so. If he didn’t want this, he’d tell you. Probably rudely.”

Gram let out a short laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah… guess that’s true.”

Suddenly alarms were blaring, putting an end to their rare heart to heart.

In an instant, they snapped to attention. They pulled their masks up and took the smoke bombs out of the bag. Security and workers were scrambling outside.

Yok glanced at Gram. “You ready?”

Gram nodded. For now, they had a mission to focus on.

Sean kept sharp eyes on White as he reached his destination. The large container lay open before him, its contents waiting. But White was hesitating.

“Black," Sean snapped impatiently, “add it. What are you waiting for?”

White’s grip tightened around the flask. Every instinct screamed at him that this was a mistake. He had tried to explain the consequences, but Sean wouldn’t listen.

“Dammit, Black! I said pour it!"

White’s hands trembled. Instead of following orders, he set the flask down beside the container and snapped a quick photo.

“What the hell are you doing? I told you to add the bitterant!” Sean’s voice crackled in his earpiece, growing more furious by the second.

Ignoring him, White turned and bolted. He reached the security room just as Sean stormed out, and together they ran, dodging cameras and outpacing the guards. The empty grounds stretched before them, and with a final burst of adrenaline, they vaulted the fence where Gram and Yok were waiting.

White barely made it to the pavement before collapsing beside their bikes, his breath ragged. The rush that had carried him this far evaporated in an instant.

“Black, get up.” Gram knelt beside him, hands hovering uncertainly. “Are you hurt?” He scanned White for injuries.

Sean didn’t wait. Helmet in hand, he shoved Gram aside and yanked White up by his collar. Before White could react, the hard shell of the helmet cracked against his skull.

“Sean!” Gram shouted, surging forward.

Sean shoved him back, Gram landing on the road painfully. “Why didn’t you follow the plan? What the hell is wrong with you?”

Gram pushed himself off the ground and lunged again, but Yok held him back. “Let it go.” He murmured, knowing Sean’s fury wasn’t something they could defuse so easily.

“Everything is ruined because of you! How could you do that to me?” Sean seethed as White gasped for air. “My dad died because of those shitty people.” 

White clawed at Sean’s arm, gasping. Darkness crept at the edges of his vision.

“Sean, stop!” Gram’s voice cracked with panic.

Sean didn’t let go.

White’s lungs burned, his strength ebbed. Then suddenly he was released, collapsing to the ground in a fit of coughing, hands clutching his bruised throat.

Gram was on him instantly, gathering him up in his arms. “Are you okay?” He whispered, his voice shaking. “It’s okay, baby. You’re okay.”

White didn’t have the energy to respond. He let Gram hold him up, the exhaustion swallowing him whole.

Yok shot a glance at the horizon, the first hints of dawn creeping in. “We need to go,” he said, pushing Sean back toward his bike, “now .”

Chapter Text

Gram met White outside of Black’s apartment building the next morning. “Have you seen the news?” He waved his phone at White.

White shook his head.

“Tawi held a press conference about the bitterant. Apparently, someone broke in and leaked photos on Twitter.” Gram smirked, but there was a hint of worry in his voice. “He made us sound like the villains.”

White sighed as he scanned the article on Gram’s phone. “Of course he did. He knows people will take his side if he frames it that way. What we actually want people to know isn’t even mentioned.”

“Plenty of people are rooting for him.”

White took Gram’s hand, running his thumb over the back of it in a comforting gesture. “Mainstream news won’t do us any favours. But there’s a page called Lynch the News, I sent them information about the fire. They don’t seem to like Tawi either.”

“You think that’ll help?”

“They have a lot of followers.” White shrugged. “At the very least, they’ll give us a chance to explain our side, to tell people why we did what we did, what our intentions were and still are. Some comments even talked about meeting outside Tawi’s business.” He pulled out his phone to show Gram.

Gram didn’t look convinced. “It barely has any likes. Who’s actually going to show up?”

White stood up from the stairs where they had been sitting. “Well, I’m going.” He turned and started walking.

“Black!”

White glanced over his shoulder. “Even if only two people show up, I’m going. We started this. Have faith in what we’re doing.”

Gram sighed, closing his eyes before finally nodding. “Okay, okay.” He took White’s hands and tugged him into a hug, letting out a slow breath against his shoulder. “Okay,” he repeated, softer this time. Then he pressed a quick, lingering kiss to the top of White’s head before pulling back with a grin. “Lead the way.” He said, gesturing dramatically toward the building’s front doors.

White rolled his eyes, but the smile tugging at his lips gave him away.

White bit back an ‘I told you so’ when they arrived at the protest. A massive crowd stretched in front of them, far larger than he’d expected. They wove their way through the crowd to be closer to the person speaking.

The speaker’s voice rang out over the crowd, talking about fighting discrimination, particularly against LGBTQ+ individuals and women. White and Gram exchanged a look, taking in the faces around them. It worked. Their message had spread. People were listening. People wanted change.

“Black, we did it!” Gram practically vibrated with excitement, pulling White into a tight hug. He shook him slightly, unable to contain his enthusiasm. White patted his back, amused. Gram pulled back, beaming, and leaned down to kiss White, completely unconcerned about the crowd around them.

White blinked up at him, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Are you forgetting that there are people literally all around us?”

Gram shrugged, unrepentant. “They’ll live.”

White rolled his eyes. “You’re unbelievable.” He dropped Gram’s hand as he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, nearly dropping it in an attempt to hide it when he saw Todd’s name on the screen. "Go on ahead,” he said, barely looking at Gram, "I’ll catch up."

Gram raised his hand to rest against White’s back. “Something wrong?"

“Nothing,” White tried his best to give him a reassuring smile, “I just won’t hear well here.” 

“There’s a quiet spot over there.” Gram nodded towards an area with a medical tent and took White’s hand, intending to lead the way. 

White yanked his hand away quickly. “It’s okay I won’t be long.” His phone was still buzzing in this other hand. 

“What’s the big deal?” Gram asked with a frown. “Is it private?”

The call dropped and his screen lit up again immediately with another call from Todd. White couldn’t answer the call around Gram. If this was Todd calling to tell him that Black’s condition was worse… "It’s none of your business."

Gram felt the words like a slap. His chest tightened, breath catching just enough to sting. "You disappear without a word for weeks," he said quietly, "you come back like you didn’t just vanish off the face of the earth. You start acting like you’d rather spend time with Sean rather than your own boyfriend. And now you’re hiding phone calls from me?"

White looked away, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets, shoulders tense. "I don’t know why you’re bringing that up again. I told you, I had things to handle. You wouldn’t understand."

"Try me." Gram said.

"You don’t know what I was dealing with."

"Because you never told me!" The words came out sharper than Gram intended, but he didn’t take them back. "You never tell me anything. And I’m supposed to just... wait around for you?”

For a moment, White said nothing. The noise of the protest filled the silence between them, but Gram hardly heard it. He glanced down at the call, still unanswered. 

"I thought keeping you out of it was the right thing." White said carefully. "I didn’t want to drag you into something dangerous."

"You didn’t give me the choice." Gram’s voice broke on the last word. He exhaled. "I’m not here because I want something easy. I’m here because I care about you, but you keep shutting me out."

White looked down, then back at him, gaze softening just enough to sting. "I never wanted to hurt you."

Gram stepped closer, resting a hand on White’s waist. "Then stop pushing me away."

White sighed softly, pushing Gram’s hand away gently. “I’m sorry. I really have to take this.” 

“Black!” Gram reached out to grab White’s hand but he was already pushing through the crowd, phone pressed to his ear. 

“Is Black okay?” White said in lieu of a greeting.

“Hello to you too.” Todd replied with a chuckle. “His condition hasn’t changed.”

White sighed. “Why are you calling then?”

“The protest, outside of Tawi’s building… that was you guys, right? Black’s gang of friends?”

“Yes.” White replied simply. “Our posts worked.” 

“White,” Todd said in warning, “you should stay away from that stuff. You could get your parents in trouble, or not to mention yourself.”

“It’s a peaceful protest.” White shrugged Todd’s worry off. He looked over to where he and Gram had been only to not find Gram among the crowd. “I need to go find Gram.” 

“Okay… just, please be careful. These guys are dangerous.” 

White hung up the phone and hurried back into the crowd to look for Gram, only to receive a text from him.

Gram: i’ll be back later, had to step out.

White exhaled sharply, frustration catching in his throat. Now? Of all times? He tapped Gram’s name and brought the phone to his ear, weaving through the crowd with growing urgency. It rang once, twice, and then it went to voicemail. 

White pulled the phone away and stared at the dark screen, running a hand through his hair. He hadn’t meant to start an argument. White swallowed hard, guilt settling heavy in his chest.

As the sun dipped below the skyline, casting long golden streaks over the city, the protest shifted from defiance into celebration. White lingered at the edge of it all, watching as the crowd surged around the pride flag laid out like a runway across the grass. One by one, people strutted across it with exaggerated flair, turning it into a catwalk of joy and resistance.

A figure across the crowd caught his eye. Sean was here. They hadn’t seen each other since the factory incident, since Sean had nearly killed him. Sean caught his gaze and White took an instinctive step back, ready to bolt and get as far away from Sean as he possibly could. Except there was no anger on his face. From the distance, it looked like he might even be smiling. White blinked, uncertain. He didn’t know what to make of that.

Their eye contact was broken when the crowd lifted the flag into the air, shaking it higher and higher. A chant of ‘Tawi, get out! ’ filled the air. White realised, without meaning to, that he was smiling too. He joined the group underneath the flag, jumping and chanting along.

He met Sean in the middle. “You’re here too?” He asked over the noise.

“Yeah, just stopped by to see.”

White stopped jumping. “Do you have anything to say to me?”

Sean shook his head slowly, lips twitching. “No.”

“What?” White leaned in, brows furrowed. “You’re gonna have to speak up.”

Sean tilted closer, his mouth nearly brushing White’s ear. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

His breath was warm, and White shivered despite himself. White huffed, smirking. “Are you sure?”

Sean pulled back just enough to meet his eyes, a playful grin playing at his lips. Then he leaned in again, closer this time, voice low and teasing, lips barely grazing skin as he whispered, “Tawi, get out.”

White burst into laughter, the tension breaking. Maybe expecting an apology had been wishful thinking. Somehow, this felt better. He grinned and jumped back into the chant, matching the rhythm of the crowd, a bounce in his step that hadn’t been there before. He didn’t see Sean watching him with a softened gaze, far softer than he’d ever looked at him before.

As the chant shifted to ‘Marriage equality!’ Sean reached up, almost casually, but not quite, and wrapped his fingers around White’s wrist. White glanced over, and for a heartbeat, their eyes locked. He didn’t say a word, just raised their joined hands high, voice lifting with the crowd’s chant, but his thumb brushed lightly against Sean’s in a silent reply.

Neither of them noticed the figure lingering at the edge of the crowd, watching.

After the last of the protesters had drifted away and dispersed, Sean and White made their way to the garage. Yok was chattering enthusiastically about the news when they arrived, barely taking the time to breathe even as Sean took the can from his hand to take a sip as he sat down next to him.

“I watched the latest news,” He said as White settled down in the only remaining seat next to Gram. “Tawi said there were some people trying to attack him. When the reporters asked if what was going on was related to his forest trespassing case he became enraged and stormed out in front of them. It was very satisfying.” Yok’s enthusiasm caused White to laugh. 

Due to all the excitement of the evening, he had almost forgotten about their earlier argument. Without a word, Gram handed him a beer and White took it with a forced smile. “Thanks.” White couldn’t help but stiffen as Gram’s hand landed, possessively against his thigh.

The others kept talking, laughter and half-teasing remarks echoing off the garage walls. But Gram stayed silent beside him, his beer untouched, eyes occasionally flicking toward White but never landing for long.

Then, abruptly, Gram stood. He reached down and grabbed White’s hand and tugged him to his feet.

Yok raised an eyebrow, still halfway through a sentence. “What’s going on?”

“I need to talk to Black,” Gram said simply.

“Don’t take too long!” Yok called after them as they moved towards the kitchen. “And don’t do anything gross on the kitchen counter!”

“What is it?” White asked cautiously once they were alone in the kitchen. Gram was still gripping his hand tightly.

He ran his free hand through his hair. “I saw you.”

White blinked. “What? Yeah, I know, you were with me most of the day.”

“No, I mean-” Gram broke off. He let go of White’s hand and rubbed both palms over his face. “Later. I saw you with Sean.”

“We met up during the flag thing, if that’s what you mean?” White shrugged. “I don’t get why you’re so upset.”

“Stop pretending you don’t know!” Gram snapped. His voice rose, sharp and sudden. “You were holding hands! You were looking at each other like-” He cut himself off again, his tone dropping to a strained whisper. “Like you used to look at me.”

“Gram, we were just…” Just what? White didn’t even know. “We were just having fun. That’s all.”

“Black, you were acting like everything was fine. Laughing, dancing under a damn pride flag, holding hands with Sean of all people. How am I supposed to feel about that?”

“He beat the crap out of you yesterday. Nearly killed you. And today you’re smiling at him like he’s your best friend?”

“His plan worked. That’s all. We were happy.”

Gram laughed, a bitter, humorless chuckle. “Great. You were happy with Sean, while I was scared you were…”

“Scared I was what?”

“I don’t know!” Gram groaned in frustration. “You’re so secretive, I have no idea where I stand with you anymore.” They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Gram scuffed his shoe across the floor. “Was it Sean? Was the important call?”

“What? No - no - stop bringing up Sean. He doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

“He has everything to do with this! Ever since you came back, it’s been him. You’re always around him!”

“I’m not-”

“You were sleeping with him!”

“We were sharing a bed, Gram!”

Gram turned away, eyes shut tight. He leaned on the counter, head bowed. “You always have some excuse. And if you don’t, you just don’t tell me anything. I still don’t know where you went. Or why. Or why you came back so... different.”

Guilt crashed over White. He knew it wasn’t fair on Gram, none of this was. “I’m sorry.” He said softly. “I wish I could tell you where I was. I really do.”

“Then tell me. Please.” Gram’s voice cracked. “Tell me why you had to see you’re not acting like yourself and sharing beds with other guys when you could have come to me for help. I would have given you somewhere to stay. Why won’t you talk to me?”

“I can’t.” White wouldn’t meet Gram’s eyes. 

“Okay.”

White looked up, confused. “Okay?”

“I can’t do this anymore, Black.” He said, voice raw. “It’s not fair to me. I don’t trust you. I don’t feel like you love me the way I love you. And I can’t keep feeling like I’m the only one fighting.”

“Gram…” White stepped forward, hand reaching out, but Gram dodged him.

“I need a break. From you, from our relationship.” 

“Gram…” White repeated, lost. He hadn’t expected this. And he didn’t know how to fix it, not without exposing everything. “I’m sorry.”

Gram gave a sad, crooked smile. “You’re not even going to fight for us?”

“Maybe we should talk tomorrow. When we’ve both cooled down.”

Gram rolled his eyes. “Tell me where you went. Tell me what happened when you disappeared. Then we can talk tomorrow.”

White exhaled sharply. “I just can’t.”

“See you around, then.”

“Gram!”

White grabbed his arm as he stepped past, but Gram pulled away easily, pushing him back with a gentle hand.

“Gram!” White’s voice was ignored as Gram moved toward the garage door. They passed the others sitting at the coffee table, their eyes full of confusion. “Please don’t do this,” White begged, his voice small, quiet.

“I’m done, Black.” Gram sniffed, his voice thick with emotion. “I’m done.”

White watched as Gram walked toward his bike, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand before the helmet blocked his face from view. He didn’t move, didn’t speak, as Gram got on the bike and drove off.

A hand settled on his shoulder, and White jumped, startled.

“What happened?” It was Gumpa.

White shook his head, his heart heavy. “I don’t know.”

White had returned to Black’s apartment that night and skipped the garage the next day. He ignored every call from Yok. He had completely screwed up, and had no idea how he was supposed to fix it. He probably couldn’t.

Gram wanted answers, answers only Black could give, and when White looked at the situation from the outside, it did look bad. He’d been smiling under the pride flag with Sean, his argument with Gram momentarily forgotten. He hadn’t felt like he was pretending to be Black at that moment. He had felt more like himself than he had since he first changed into Black’s clothes. Because of Sean.

A knock broke through his spiraling thoughts. When he opened the door, the main cause of his problem was standing there with a bottle wrapped in a brown paper bag.

White sighed. “What do you want, Sean?”

“Let me in.” Sean pushed past him without waiting, pushing the door closed with his foot.

White tried to block him. “Why are you here?”

Sean didn’t answer, just brushed off the resistance by shouldering White to the side. 

“This is my room.” White snapped as Sean sat on the unmade bed.

“Don’t sit on that.”

Sean raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”

“You’ve probably been in those clothes all day. I don’t want to wash the sheets.”

“So should I take them off?”

White rolled his eyes. “Just sit on the floor.”

Sean groaned dramatically but obeyed, leaning back against the bed frame. He took a swig from the glass bottle, then offered it to White.

White sat on the bed, took the bottle, but didn’t drink. He leaned forward, forearms resting on his thighs. “So? Why are you here? Are you here to apologise?”

Sean grabbed the bottle back. “If you’re not drinking, don’t hog it.”

White reached over Sean’s shoulder, took a swig, and winced. “So, what do you want to talk about?”

Sean shifted, now facing him. “You and Gram… did you guys break up?”

White looked down. “I think so. He said he needed a break.”

“Why would he want that?”

White hesitated before answering, “He saw us holding hands.”

“Us?” Sean asked, gesturing between them. “You and me?”

White nodded.

“So he misunderstood.” Sean shrugged. “Did you explain?”

“Of course I did. But he was still upset. And he wanted to know where I disappeared to.”

“So tell him.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t, okay?” White snapped. “Is this really why you came?”

“What do you mean?”

“You came all this way to check up on me?”

Sean shook his head. “I was hot-headed the other day. Today I’m making it up to you,” he thrust the bottle toward him for emphasis, “with a drink.”

White smirked. “So you are here to apologise.”

Sean gave a small smile. “You’ve changed. You think more. You smile more.”

White looked down at his sheets. “Gram said the same thing. But he doesn’t like it.”

“Since we started this, we’ve never had this much support.”

“Right?” White’s grin widened. “Did you see the news?”

“I did. Everywhere Tawi goes, people curse his name.”

White watched him, propped up on one arm. Sean looked calm, for the first time since White had met him. For once, he was neither tense or guarded. White slid off the bed to sit beside him.

“What did Tawi do to you?”

Sean hesitated, then shook his head. He didn’t want to go there.

“You think this is your burden alone, but it doesn’t have to be. If it’s too much, I’m here to listen.”

After a moment of silence, Sean finally spoke. “My dad worked for Tawi, running drugs for him.”

And just like that, Sean let it all out. The anger, the hurt. The reason he was ready to burn everything down was so that he could take Tawi with him.

White listened quietly. When Sean finished, White reached up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing gently across the skin. “But you got past it. That’s why you’re here.”

Sean’s eyes glistened. “I was lucky I met you. Your plan… it gave me something to fight for.”

“I’m glad you told me.” White absentmindedly toyed with the earring in Sean’s ear. “Now I understand you better.”

“Why do you want to?”

“Because I want you to trust me. Like I trust you.”

Sean blinked. “Do you? Or are you just saying that to be nice?”

White stood suddenly, climbed onto the bed, and held out his arms. Sean looked confused, until White fell backward off the mattress.

Sean yelped and lunged forward, catching him. “What the hell are you doing?!”

“A trust fall.” White said it like it was obvious. “I just proved I trust you. You caught me.”

Sean snorted. “You’re full of surprises.” He raised a fist. “Does it still hurt if I punch you?”

“Only if I can punch you back.”

Sean nodded. “Do it.”

White stepped close, grabbed Sean’s shoulders, then rose on his toes and bumped their foreheads together.

They both howled in pain, reeling backwards, hands to their heads.

“That hurt,” White groaned. “I didn’t think the one doing it would get hurt.”

“We even now?”

White nodded. “Yeah.”

They stared at each other for a beat, and then burst into a fit of laughter.

Chapter Text

Sean woke to bright sunlight spilling across his face. He propped himself up on his elbows and glanced at Black, still fast asleep beside him. He couldn’t help reaching out, brushing his fingers gently over Black’s cheek, then his forehead. His skin was soft, far softer than Sean had expected from someone like him.

He looked peaceful while sleeping. More peaceful in general lately, in fact. He didn’t argue with everything Sean said, he wasn’t gunning for a fight at any opportunity. He didn’t go fists first into situations without considering the consequences. But more than any of that, he hadn’t left Sean behind.

Back at the factory, when they were being chased and Sean got caught, Black had turned back. He’d risked being caught himself to help. That was a far cry from the guy who, months earlier, had bolted ahead and let Sean take the fall alone. It made Sean feel... things. New things. He was starting to actually like Black. This version of him, anyway.

Sean used his pinky to brush Black’s hair from his eyes. He waved his hand in front of Black’s face but still got no response. He was dead to the world. 

“Fake sleeping?” Sean murmured, and blew softly into Black’s ear.

Black only turned his head away.

Sean let his fingers drift down Black’s face, along his neck, then traced the line of his arm. Past the tattoo, down to the elbow, where the loose shirt hung open. He successfully made it down to Black’s hand without him so much as twitching. With a quick motion he was jabbing his fingers into Black’s side.

Black groaned, turned away, and sighed.

Sean grinned. “You really are asleep.”

Feeling reassured, Sean stood and began rifling through Black’s drawers. He didn’t know exactly what he was looking for, just something . In the bedside drawer he found a planner, abandoned days before Black’s last disappearance. Beneath it were some documents, then, in Black’s bag, a hard case. Sean frowned as he opened the case and found glasses. He set them aside and rummaged further, retrieving a case for contact lenses. 

Sean tilted his head, puzzled. Since when did Black have bad vision? In all the time they’d known each other, Black had never worn glasses, never complained about dry eyes or lenses. He looked over his shoulder at Black, fast asleep. 

At the bottom of the bag, he found a wallet, far too sleek and clean to be Black’s. Sean slid it into his pocket.

White woke with a jolt. Something tugged at him when he tried to roll over. His eyes snapped open to see that his wrists were tied to the bed.

“What the hell?” He barked into the empty room. There was only one person who could be responsible. “Sean!”

The balcony door creaked open. Sean stepped in, the sun casting him in silhouette. “Hungover?”

White stilled, narrowing his eyes at Sean. “Did you tie me up? ”

“It’s just us here.” Sean dropped onto the edge of the bed. “Who else could it be?”

“ Why? ”

“Think,” Sean said, leaning in, “why would I do it?”

“What kind of game are you playing?” White huffed, shoving at Sean’s chest. “Let me go!”

Sean braced himself, hands on either side of White’s waist, and whispered near his ear. “If I was just going to untie you, why would I tie you up in the first place?”

“Untie me!”

White seized the opportunity of the close proximity and wrapped his legs around Sean, pulling him down onto the bed. They wrestled, shouting and cursing, until Sean wriggled free and escaped. White shouted after him, legs tangled in the sheets, but the apartment door slammed behind Sean.

It felt like hours before there was a knock and the door and Todd let himself in. He blinked when he saw White’s predicament. 

“What the hell happened to you?” He asked, not bothering to hide the amusement in his tone.

“Sean happened.” White sighed. “Can you untie me?”

Todd perched on the bed and started with White’s right wrist. “How’d he even do this?”

“I was asleep.” White muttered, embarrassed.

Todd smirked. “What did you guys do last night?”

“We just drank a little and talked.”

Todd's smile faltered. “You never tell me anything anymore. I have to come here just to find you.”

White looked away. “I’ve been busy.”

“You always say that.”

“The whole Tawi thing,” Todd started to say as he reached into a plastic bag and handing White a bottle of water, “that was the gang, right?”

White nodded, spilling water as he chugged it down..

“See?” Todd threw up his hands. “You didn’t even tell me that.”

“Next time I will report everything I do.” He was only being slightly sarcastic with his words. “Don’t sulk.” 

“I’m not sulking.” Todd huffed back. 

White’s phone buzzed, interrupting. He picked it up as Todd eyed him carefully. 

“What is it?”

“Gram wants to meet up.” White sighed. He had almost forgotten about the situation with Gram, thanks to Sean. He pulled on the first pair of trousers he saw on the bedroom floor.

“Where are you going?” Todd asked, having made himself comfortable on the bed.

“The university.” White replied as he took a white dress shirt from the cupboard. 

“I came here just to get ditched by you?” Todd complained. “I brought all this food and you’re not going to eat it?”

“I’ll get something at the university.” White shrugged. “Lock the door for me.” He added on his way out.

“What am I,” Todd called after him, “your servant?” 

Gram was waiting at the top of the ramp when White arrived at the university, parked Black’s bike in the empty space beside Gram’s. One look at him, and it was clear that Gram hadn’t been sleeping well.

“What is it?” White asked.

Gram held out a small bag. “You left a few things at my place.”

White took it. Gram ran his now free hand through his hair.

“Thanks.”

Gram cleared his throat, as if the motion might dispel the awkward silence. “We’ll be late for class.”

As he turned to go, White caught his wrist. “That’s it?”

“What do you mean?” Gram frowned, tugging free. “You didn’t leave that much.”

“You’re really just breaking up with me like this?” White glanced into the bag, trying to express the hurt that he didn’t quite feel. “How long were we together?”

“Why are you-”

“You’re walking away like it means nothing. Did you even talk to Sean about what you saw? Or are you cutting him off too?”

“There you go again, worrying about Sean.” Gram muttered. “Honestly, I liked it better when you two hated each other.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying, Black?” Gram snapped.

White reached for his hand. “That we shouldn’t give up. We can fix this.”

For a moment, Gram hesitated, but then he shook his head and pulled away. “I don’t want to. Not right now.”

Sean made sure he was alone before pulling away the corrugated iron from a broken warehouse window. He vaulted the ledge, scanned the room, and dragged a bench beneath the window just as Black’s bike rumbled in.

“Hello there.” Sean grinned, hopping back outside as White approached, grabbing his hands with a chuckle. “You must’ve struggled.”

“You caused these.” White muttered, glaring at the bruises Sean gently traced.

“Give me that.” Sean took the tent from his back.

“Why here? Why bring all this stuff?”

“Gumpa found a lead. They’re hiding drugs in appliances and heaters in the warehouse next door.”

White was sceptical. “If it’s just a shell corp, no one will trace it back to Tawi.”

“If we hit the warehouse, we might expose everyone involved.”

White scanned the area. He trusted Sean and he didn’t believe that Gumpa would steer them wrong.

Sean climbed in first, then offered a hand to White, trying his best not to smile too much as he used the bench. 

As they worked their way through the building, testing what doors were locked and which weren’t, White took the opportunity to get back at Sean for tying him up, and pushed him. Not with enough force to take him off his feet, just enough to surprise him and make him stumble. 

“Oi!” Sean spun around. “Getting back at me?”

White kept a straight face. “No.”

“You’ll pay for that tonight.” Sean warned, heading through an open door to a stairwell. “Race you to the third floor.”

“Sure.” White made a move to take off but Sean grabbed his backpack.

“Hold on. Don’t cheat.”

“I’m carrying many things!” White argued. “Let me go first.”

“Then give me your bag.” Sean’s voice softened.

White handed his bag over and took the opportunity to take off up the stairs. 

“Hey!”

By the time Sean caught up, White was already opening a water bottle. 

“So? Panting like a dog, huh?” Sean teased.

White turned around with his cheeks puffed out. Sean immediately backed away. He never seemed to learn that White could give as good as he got. He backed Sean up to the stairs, fingers ready to push at his full cheeks.

“Don’t,” Sean warned, “don’t do it.”

White ignored the warning and pushed his cheeks, letting go of the breath he had been holding. Sean raised his hands defensively, only to remain dry. White laughed, grinning. 

“You’re a tease.” Sean muttered, smiling despite himself. “Help me with the tent.”

“Why didn’t you ask Gram and Yok to come?” White questioned casually as they started setting up their makeshift campsite.

“They’re not very skilled at spying.” Sean replied with a shrug. “You’re the right one.”

White blinked at the unexpected compliment.

“Besides,” Sean added, “I didn’t want to deal with your drama with Gram.”

“There’s no drama.” White lied. “We broke up, but we still want the same things.”

“Yok said he gave your stuff back.”

White nodded minutely. “He did.”

“You okay?” Sean asked gently. “Yok said Gram’s not doing great.”

White busied himself by straightening out the tent a bit more than necessary. “He wasn’t interested in working things out.” When he looked up again Sean was looking at him with sympathy. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine.”

“You’re really not together anymore?”

“How many times do I have to say it?”

“Sorry.”

“I wasn’t great to him. It’s probably for the best.”

Sean hummed. “Come on, let’s get this done before the sun starts setting.” 

“You see that warehouse?” Sean asked as he put his arm around White’s shoulders, pointing out towards a building nearby from their place on the abandoned building's roof. “That’s where Tawi stores his drugs. The entrance and exit are out front. I think there’s a few spots we can use to sneak in.”

White scanned the area carefully as Sean explained the plan.

“We don’t know their guarding schedule, that’s what you’re here for.” 

“Do you really think I’ll help you after what you did to me?” White asked as he put some space between them.

Sean shrugged, seemingly unphased. “Fine. Don’t help. I can do it by myself, staying up all night won’t kill me.”

White hummed in agreement. “I know you’re good, you can do anything.”

“Yes, I’m good.” Sean agreed, acting as if he didn’t pick up on White’s sarcasm. 

Sean was looking at him so intensely that it took White a moment to reply. “What if I want to help? We’re in this together.”

Sean pulled White back in under his arm. “Watch closely.” He instructed as he handed the binoculars over.

“Get away, it’s ticklish.” White complained, shrugging Sean’s hand off his shoulder.

“We might be able to see more up there.” Sean suggested, climbing the metal ladder up to a taller part of the roof. He let White look out as he stepped back. “Nice view, isn’t it?”

White turned his head back to look at Sean and nodded, smiling. “It is.” 

With White’s attention on him, Sean stepped back until his feet were over the edge of the building, and let himself fall back. Startled, White yelled out for Sean and with faster reflexes than he knew he had, he was grabbing Sean around the waist and pulling him back to solid ground. Sean wrapped his arms around White tightly to keep them both steady.

“What the hell are you playing?” White scolded, pulling away. “You could have died! ”

With an arm on White’s left shoulder, Sean leant into his personal space. “It’s called a trust fall.” He said, as if it was obvious. “Clearly, you saved me, so I know I can trust you.”

White huffed. “I would save anyone doing that, don’t be so full of yourself.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sean raised an eyebrow. “I’m full of myself?”

“Yes, you are.” White turned around to look back at the view of the city. He could feel Sean’s eyes on him. “Sean, have you ever thought about what we’d be doing, if we hadn't done these things?”

Sean considered White’s question for a moment. “This is the goal that keeps me alive,” Sean answered as he stepped closer and raised his hand to hold the side of White’s neck, “and you are too.” 

White was still as the words sunk in, even stiller as Sean leant forward and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. He seemed to take White’s lack of response as a good sign, because soon Sean was leaning in to kiss his lips. White pulled back minutely, caught off guard by the whole situation. Sean caught White’s eyes at the hesitation, but when he didn’t make a move to pull away further, Sean leaned in again. 

This time, White stayed put. The first brush of Sean’s lips was tentative. His hand came up to cup Sangwoo’s cheek, his thumb brushing just beneath his eye, grounding and tender. White responded with a clumsy urgency he hadn’t known he was capable of. 

The kiss felt like it lasted far longer than White was sure it had and he was out of breath when he pulled away. Sean pressed their foreheads together after they had separated and White was tucking his arms under Sean’s to pull him into a hug. Sean tucked his chin over White’s shoulder, holding him tightly.

Chapter Text

Back in the tent, White sat still, nervous in a way that made him fidget and twitchy. He wasn’t sure what his next move should be. Sean had just confessed… something, hadn’t he? He had kissed him.

No, not him. Sean had kissed Black. At least, that’s who Sean thought he was kissing on the roof. The realisation made something cold settle in White’s gut, a sharp twist of guilt that made him wince inwardly. Sean hadn’t chosen him. He’d chosen someone who didn’t even know this was happening.

Sean zipped up the tent slowly and crawled across the narrow space stopping just short of White’s knees. He kneeled there, fingers reaching to rest gently on White’s thighs, the touch light and hesitant. His gaze met White’s, intense and searching, as though trying to read the thouhts behind the eyes he thought belonged to someone else.

“Are you scared of me?” He asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper.

White hesitated. The question caught him off guard, not because he was scared of Sean, but because the truth was far more complicated than that. He was scared of himself, scared of what he was doing, of the lie he was tangled in, of how badly this could hurt when it all fell apart. But he shook his head, just slightly. “No, I’m not.” He said finally.

Sean didn’t look away. His eyes still held White’s, and it was becoming harder and harder to maintain eye contact. White swallowed, trying to ground himself. The silence stretched between them, too thick to bear. “So… what are we doing?” He asked, more to break the silence than anything else.

Sean’s lips curved slightly, but there was something unreadable in his expression. “Yes, what should I do to you?” He asked, voice dropping as he leaned in, slowly closing the space between them.

White’s breath caught as he replied softly, “That’s up to you.”

Sean’s hand shifted slightly, the pads of his fingers grazing the inside of White’s thigh. “Don’t be afraid.” He murmured. “Whatever I do, just… let me know if you like it or not.”

Then Sean leaned in and took White’s earlobe between his lips. The contact was soft, barely there, but it sent an involuntary shiver up White’s spine. He ducked his head away from the touch instinctively, surprised by how his body responded.

“Do you like that?” Sean asked, voice rougher now, but still tender.

White nodded slowly, his voice quiet. “I do.”

Sean pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek next. “And that?”

White gave another nod, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment. And then Sean leaned in, finally pressing a deeper kiss to White’s lips, lingering. When he pulled away, White didn’t think, he just reached out, wrapped his arms over Sean’s shoulders and pushed himself forward, shifting off his knees and into Sean’s lap. The movement was natural, like instinct, and yet every part of it felt electric, too. He copied the kiss, mimicking the way Sean had touched him, lips brushing over his ear, and whispered softly, “Do you like that?”

Sean didn’t respond, he simply pulled White into another kiss, this one far more intense. There was no hesitation now, no tentative edge. It felt like Sean had finally found his footing, confidence blooming now that White had made it clear that he wanted this too.

The kiss stretched, timeless and slow. They stayed like that for longer than White could track, tangled in each other, hands exploring gently.. At some point his jacket slipped off his shoulders, and Sean’s followed soon after. White reached for the hem of Sean’s shirt, tugging it up. Sean raised his arms to help, and the fabric slid off, revealing warm skin beneath.

White placed his palms against Sean’s chest, fingers curling up over his shoulders. He leaned in, mouth pressing to the curve of Sean’s neck as Sean’s hands found the back of White’s head, threading through the short strands of hair and holding him close. 

They were taking their time, unhurried and deliberate. White couldn’t remember being this gentle with anyone. He certainly hadn’t been so intimate about this with Gram. The reminder of Black’s boyfriend felt like cold water being dumped over his head. 

Black, and the fact that he was out there, unconscious in a hospital bed, unaware that his life was being borrowed, no, stolen . It made White’s stomach lurch. He shouldn’t be doing this. This wasn’t noble, or necessary. This wasn’t part of the plan. White tried to push the thought away, focusing on Sean who linked their fingers together as they kissed. 

Sean pulled away, watching White. It felt like he knew he had been away from the moment, inside his head.

White drew in a shaky breath. “If… if I’m not Black. Not the Black you used to know… would you still be okay with that?”

Sean didn’t even pause. He leaned forward and kissed him softly. “I’ve never known you better than this before.” He said.

The simplicity of his words, the honesty, made White’s chest ache. It was too much. Too sincere. He didn’t deserve it, not when everything he’d done was built on lies. He was pretending to be someone else, justifying his every step with the excuse that it was all for Black. But this? This moment? It wasn’t for Black at all. It was for himself. And he hated that he wanted it.

Even while knowing this, it didn’t stop White from placing Sean’s hands over his heart. He didn’t say anything as Sean ripped a button from his shirt, Black’s shirt, asking if he could keep it. Asking if he could have Black’s heart. This wasn’t for White to decide, but he found himself kissing Sean in answer nonetheless. 

Miles away, inside a hospital ward, the sudden shrill beeping of a monitor pierced the stillness. Nurses rushed in, followed by a doctor, as movement came from a patient who had been silent for months. Eyes fluttered open and Black took his first breath back into the waking world.

“Is that the sound of your heart beating?” White teased, his voice a low murmur as he lay draped across Sean’s body, cheek pressed to Sean’s chest.

“It’s not mine.” Sean replied, equally soft.

White huffed, pretending to be defeated. “Fine,” he said with a lazy grin, “it’s mine.”

Sean pressed a kiss to his forehead, lips lingering for a moment. “It’s mine too.” He murmured, smiling into the touch.

White didn’t remember when they had fallen asleep or what time it was when he woke up. The air in the tent was warm, thick with the scent of shared body heat and the sun had completely set, the only light coming from far away buildings. Sean slept soundly beside him, lips parted and more relaxed than White had ever seen him. White stayed for a moment, taking in the peace of him, the trust it took to sleep so vulnerably beside someone.

Then, slowly and carefully, White eased away, doing his best not to wake him. He reached for his shirt and underwear, pulling them on in the dim light, and slipped out of the tent. He settled on the low concrete ledge nearby, elbows resting on his knees as he enjoyed the cool night air. He didn’t hear Sean stir, didn’t register the sound of him dressing, until the warmth of his presence arrived beside him like it had always been there.

They glanced at each other. “Are you okay?” They asked at the same time.

Sean chuckled and rested a hand gently on White’s shoulder. “I am,” he said sincerely, “you?”

White nodded slowly. “I’m okay.” But something in his voice betrayed the weight in his chest. He hesitated, then added, “Sean…”

Sean tilted his head, patient now, curious. “Yeah?”

But White couldn’t find the words. His thoughts knotted themselves up before they could form sentences.

“What’s bothering you?” Sean asked gently.

“Nothing,” White said quickly, shaking his head.

Sean saw right through him and smiled knowingly. “Let’s play a game.”

White gave him a sideways glance. “What kind of game?”

“A drinking game.” Sean said, like it should’ve been obvious. He lifted a small metal flask he must have grabbed on his way over. “We’ll play ‘Have You Ever.’ If you have, you drink.”

White wrinkled his nose. “We’re on a rooftop, Sean. If we get drunk up here, we might fall off and die.”

Sean grinned. “Are you scared?”

There was the Sean White had come to expect, the one who liked to poke, to push, to test boundaries. White sighed. “Fine. I’ll play.”

Sean raised an eyebrow, waiting.

White rolled his eyes and asked, “Have you ever tried to get on my nerves?”

Sean took a dramatic sip, smirking in proud admission. The playful glint in his eyes dimmed slightly as he passed the flask back. “Have you ever been short sighted?” He asked, voice quieter, more pointed.

White stiffened. It was too precise to be about vision alone. Did he mean… metaphorically? Or… did he know? No, that was impossible. White tried to play it cool, keeping his voice steady. “Yes,” he said, then took a drink, wincing as the alcohol burned its way down, “still am.” He shot Sean a challenging look. “Have you ever tied me up?”

That familiar smirk returned. Sean drank, holding White’s gaze as he did. “Have you ever had a sibling?”

White froze, mind racing. What could make Sean want to ask that out of nowhere?

Sean gave him a gentle nudge. “You have to be honest. Otherwise, the game doesn’t work.”

White hesitated, then brought the flask to his lips and took a slow sip, offering no further explanation. Sean didn’t press. 

“Have you ever disliked me?” White asked next, voice low.

Sean drank without hesitation.

“You used to,” White said, hoping to move the conversation away from his family tree, leaning in until his breath touched Sean’s ear, “but does that mean you like me now?”

He paused, waiting, then added in a whisper, “You have to be honest.”

Sean didn’t reply in words. He simply leaned forward and kissed White, soft, unhurried, the game forgotten. 

As soon as the nurses finally stopped fussing and left him alone, Black made a run for it. The second the door clicked shut behind them, he was up. his muscles screaming in protest, but his urgency overriding the pain. He stumbled, weak from who knows how long spent in a hospital bed.

He rifled through the drawers and cabinet until he found a plain black hoodie and a pair of jeans. Not his, but close enough. No shoes or socks. Whatever, he’d make it work.

“Shit.” He muttered when he realised that his phone, wallet, and keys were nowhere in sight. Gone. Either the hospital had them locked away somewhere or someone else did.

He needed to get to Gram’s. That was the only thing that made sense, Gram would know what had happened and what to do. Gram could explain or fix it, or at the very least hold him while he tried to figure it out himself. 

On his way out, Black slipped a few crumpled bills from the pocket of a janitor walking past. The guilt barely registered, he just hoped it was enough to get him on a bus, any bus that would take him somewhere familiar. To his relief, the hospital wasn’t as far away as he’d feared. He didn’t even know which hospital it was , but the bus route was easy to figure out. The walk to Gram’s apartment from the bus stop felt impossible, his muscles weak from disuse. He just had to get to Gram.

He imagined the moment in his head, collapsing into Gram’s arms, being kissed on the forehead, told he was stupid and reckless and so loved . Gram would dote on him for a week, maybe two, and Black would let him, because the truth was, he wanted to be looked after, just this once.

More than anything, though, he needed to make sure Gram was okay. He didn’t know what day it was or how long he’d been in that hospital bed for. What if Gram had been caught in the fallout too? What if he’d been hurt? Did he even know where Black was?

Black knocked weakly on the door, praying that Gram’s parents weren’t home. It was midday so they should be at work but what if Gram was at university? Or worse, out searching for him? Black’s heart thudded. What if he’d already given up?

The door opened after what felt like an eternity and for the briefest moment relief flooded Black’s chest at the sight of Gram. Then the door slammed shut again.

“Hey!” Black’s voice cracked, hoarse. He pounded on the door with the side of his fist with the little bit of strength he had. “Gram, what the hell? Open the door!”

He kept knocking harder until Gram opened it just a crack, enough to look out but not enough to let Black in. “Aren’t you supposed to be on a stakeout with Sean?”

Black blinked. What? “A ‘hey, you’re awake’ would be nice.” He said, pushing forward like he might step into the apartment, but Gram’s arm blocked him.

“Black, why are you here?” Gram asked, expression blank.

“Where else would I go?” Black was growing more confused by the second. “I had to see you.”

“I need more time apart.” Gram said flatly.

More time? That didn’t make any sense, Black had been gone for what Black was fairly certain was months, what did he mean more time?

“I’m sorry.” Black muttered, tugging at the strings of the hoodie although he wasn’t quite sure what he was apologising for. “I don’t even know how long it’s been. I didn’t mean to be gone for long, you were probably worried, right?”

Gram shifted, leaning against the doorframe. His eyes scanned Black’s face, his posture. “Are you okay?”

Black flinched away from the hand that reached out toward his forehead. “I’m fine.” He said quickly. “Seriously. Just… please, let me in. I’ll explain everything.”

“What is there to explain?”

“I was gone, Gram. Don’t want to know why?” Black was baffled. Gram had always asked questions, always. Why was he so closed off now?

“I saw you at uni the other day.”

Black frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You were with Sean.”

“I haven’t - Gram, I haven’t been anywhere. Not with Sean, not at uni, not anywhere. I literally just woke up-”

“Not right now, Black,” Gram cut him off, running a hand through his hair. He looked tired, older somehow. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

“No, it’s not okay!” Black tried to protest, but the door shut before he could get another word out.

He stood there for a long moment, staring at the wood like it might open again if he waited long enough. It didn’t.

Seriously, what the hell is going on?

Eventually, he turned and walked down the hall, limbs heavy. His next best option was the garage. It was closer than his own apartment, and maybe someone there could help him piece together what the hell had happened while he’d been gone, while he's been commatosed in the hospital for who knows how long.

He checked his pockets. Empty. He’d used the stolen cash on the bus fare. With a sigh, he shoved his hands into the hoodie’s pockets and started walking.

“They were behind us.” Sean murmured, his voice tense. He was conviced that they had been followed on their way back to the garage from the warehouse that morning.

White stood against a motorbike, arms crossed, one foot casually hooked on the pedal. “No one’s here.” He took a hold of Sean's hands when he was standing close enough. “Don’t worry, okay?”

Sean hesitated only a moment before stepping forward. White ran his thumbs over Sean’s knuckles, his hands still trembling from the adrenaline. “Breathe,” White said softly, “you’re okay. You’re with me.”

Sean nodded, swallowing hard, and leaned in. Their lips met in a kiss that was supposed to be brief, for reassurance, but it lingered, turned deeper. White moved closer, letting go of Sean’s hands to slide his palms up his arms, thumbs tracing along his tense shoulders. He guided them closer, until there was barely an inch left between their bodies. He kissed Sean again, fuller this time, lips parting. Sean exhaled into the kiss, melting just a little.

“Better?” White murmured against his mouth.

Sean shook his head, though now his eyes were half-lidded, and a reluctant smile was starting to creep across his lips.

White gave him a teasing, quiet laugh and leaned in again. He kissed Sean once, then again, slower, deeper, his hands sliding around his back, fingers spreading wide against the fabric of Sean’s jacket. Sean let his hands wander too, up White’s sides, under the hem of his shirt, fingertips skimming warm skin.

With a low hum, White rose onto the balls of his feet and pressed a kiss to Sean’s jaw, then another beneath his ear. Sean’s breath hitched as White’s hands found the back of his neck and held him there. He buried his face against White’s shoulder for a moment, grounding himself, then tilted his head to meet White’s mouth again, more urgently this time.

Their bodies fit together, legs tangled slightly as they shifted for better leverage. White’s hands moved, exploring the small of Sean’s back, dipping beneath his shirt to trace along the curve of his spine, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Sean deepened the kiss with a soft sound in his throat, his fingers gripping at White’s waist. 

When they finally pulled apart, their foreheads rested together, breath mingling in the narrow space between them. White reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Sean’s ear and let his thumb trace down the edge of his jaw.

“Still not better?” He asked, voice low, amused.

Sean shook his head one more time and White smiled. He leaned in, brushing their lips together again, brief and soft.

Both were unaware of the eyes watching them.