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Language:
English
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Published:
2024-12-25
Updated:
2024-12-30
Words:
785
Chapters:
3/4
Comments:
18
Kudos:
156
Bookmarks:
18
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930

The Only Address I Know

Summary:

James Wilson sends a postcard to his old address in Jersey one drunk December night in 1990. The current resident, one Greg House, writes back. A correspondence develops. Told thru postcards and letters.

Notes:

Told through illustrated post cards, but the typed text will be at the end of each chapter for those with screen readers or a preference for reading type ()alt text describing stamps, addresses and so on are in alt text. I've got 20 correspondences written out already, it's just a matter of illustrating them out!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Digital drawing of the back of a Post card that says “hey I used to live in your house. I’m drunk in Boston, and it’s the only address I know. Happy holidays” with a scribbled out return address to Boston MA and an arrow to it saying oops. It’s addressed to 221 baker st with a very off kilter Christmas tree stamp.

Digital drawing of the back of a Post card that says “hey drunk, I’m also drunk, in the house you used to live in & your address is the only one I can think of. Never planned to respond but thought you could use the mail. Doesn’t sound like your holiday was very happy. It’s addressed to 331 winter ave in Boston mass. There’s a basic U.S. flag stamp in the corner.

 

Digital drawing of the back of a Post card that says “dear stranger, I am so sorry for that card. In so embarrassed. Aghast. Mortified even. Please disregard and forget the whole thing”. It’s addressed to 221 b baker st in Jersey with a Christmas tree stamp.

Image description Digital drawing of the back of a Post card that says “no, I will not forget it. Write me back and tell me your name. I deserve to know whose walls in desecrating”. It’s addressed to winter ave in Boston with an American flag stamp.

 

Image description Digital drawing of a postcard addressed to 221b baker st that says “desecrating? I shudder to imagine. Then again, probably nothing worse than I got to up there. I’m James (not Jim). Live in NY with my wife & on far too long a visit to her family after a depressing Chanukah with mine. Likely the 1st person to say they miss Jersey. Happy new year by the way. 1991 better be good.”

Image description Digital postcard addressed to 331 winter ave in Boston. Saying “happy new year Jim, an extended stay with those Boston drivers, I shudder to imagine. And in-laws? AND missing jersey? Christ suffered lass than you. (Or should I say the Maccabee’s?) I’m house (not Greg). I live in your old house with no wife. But I have a ‘67 Flying V. & hookers. Lots. As I said, desecrating.

 

 

"Hey,

I used to live in your

house. I’m drunk in

Boston, and it’s the only

address I know.

Happy holidays"

It’s addressed to 221 baker st with a very off kilter Christmas tree stamp and with a scribbled out return address to Boston MA and an arrow to it saying 'oops'. 

"Hey Drunk,

I’m also drunk, in the house

you used to live in & your

address is the only one I can

think of. Never planned to

respond but thought you could

use the mail. Doesn’t sound like

your holiday was very happy."

It’s addressed to 331 winter ave in Boston, MA. There’s a basic U.S. flag stamp in the corner.

"Dear Stranger,

I am so sorry for

that card. I'm so

embarrassed. Aghast.

Mortified even. Please

disregard and forget the

whole thing."

 “No, I will not

forget it.

Write me back &

tell me your name.

I deserve to know whose

halls in desecrating.”

“Desecrating? I shudder to imagine.

Then again, probably nothing worse

than I got to up there. I’m James

(not Jim). Live in NY with my

wife & on far too long a visit to her

family after a depressing Chanukah

with mine. Likely the 1st person to

say they miss Jersey. Happy New Year

by the way. 1991 better be good.”

“Happy New Year Jim,

An extended stay with those

Boston drivers, I shudder to imagine.

And in-laws? And missing Jersey?

Christ suffered lass than you.

(Or should I say the Maccabee’s?)

I’m House (not Greg). I live in your

old house w/ no wife. But have a

‘67 Flying V. & hookers. Lots. As I said, desecrating."

Chapter 2

Chapter Text

Digital postcard addressed to 221b baker street that says “hello GREG, copious sex, no wife, & a Flying V?? Desecrate away - I bow at your feet, O Hierophant. I was encouraged to drop music after the recorder. Somehow still a panty peeler. Though maybe not at your caliber - the wallet hasn’t made it into the bed yet. How old are you? - James”

Digital drawing of a postcard addressed to Boston saying “oh my green friend, once the wallet makes it into bed with you, the world is at your fingertips (literally!) plus, no women living in my house messing up my feng shui. But maybe you’re too respectable for that, James not Jim. My age is CaO2 = SaO2 x 1.34 x Hb”

Postcard from wilson “that’s just the oxygen content equation, [doodle of a house] [dot dot dot]”

Postcard from house. “Good job Mr. Panty Peeler! Dis you stop someone on the Harvard Yard for that? impressively resourceful. Did you have to park the car there? I’m [scribble] gallium [with an arrow pointing toward it] since you’re so smart.”

Postcard from wilson. “Ha ha. I’m in medical school, thank you very much. My second year at Columbia. Oncology. You a doctor too? Or just an asshole with a periodic table. I’m chromium.”

 

Hello Greg, 

Copious sex, no wife, & a Flying V??

Desecrate away - I bow at 

your feet, O Hierophant. I was

encouraged to drop music after

the recorder. Somehow still a panty

peeler. Though maybe not at 

your caliber - the wallet hasn't

made it into the bed yet. 

How old are you? - James

Oh my green friend, 

Once the wallet makes it

into bed with you, the world

is at your fingertips (literally!)

Plus, no women living in my

house messing up my feng

shui. But maybe you're too

respectable for that, James

not Jim. my age is CaO2 = SaO2 x 1.35 x Hb

That's just the

oxygen content 

equation, [doodle of a house] ....

Good job Mr. Panty Peeler!

Did you stop someone on

the Harvard Yard for that?

Impressively resourceful. 

Did you have to park the

car there?

I'm [scribble] Gallium. <-- since you're so smart

Ha ha.

I'm in medical school, thank you

very much. My second year

at Columbia. Oncology. You a

doctor too? Or just an asshole

with a periodic table?

I'm chromium.

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

Image description Digital postcard from house that reads “a 24 year old in oncology. That explains the penmanship. And a bleeding heart to boot. Don’t tell me, you’re a Pisces too. I’m a diagnostician. Infectious disease speciality. I dabble in nephrology. Knew the OCE since they were handing out recorders, thought. Child’s play.”

Image description Postcard from Wilson. This has the same stamp as house’s, the U.S. flag, rather than the Christmas tree. The card reads “house, I am a Pisces actually, well Sussex. My handwriting isn’t THAT bad is it? & aren’t we all diagnosticians? Kind of the name of the game… take note of the address if you’d like to keep up these cute little cards you’ll have to update your little black book. I’m back at Columbia. & maybe keep the hooker stories to a minimum. There is no envelope after all and I have a reputation to uphold. J” in the corner is an arrow to a new address, 254 E 10th st #9B, NY, NY 10009

A postcard in cursive that reads “James Wilson, oh old sport, that contact you gave me for that mouthwatering lady of the night, Ms. Kitty, was MOST valuable! You’ve got marvelous taste (literally, if you did what I did!) you must continue to share your roster! Your grateful friend, Greg”

A card from house in his plain handwriting. “Wilson, No, we’re not all diagnosticians. I, however, am. Matching stamps? How embarrassing. One of us if going to have to change. [house doodle]”

Postcard from Wilson “house, I bet you thought that letter was going to get me in sleep on the couch level trouble with my wife, but she took 1 look at it & said “that guy @ your house is quite the comedian.” I told her you outta reach out to Steve Marin but somehow she didn’t seem to think you’d make it past hanging out peanuts, but I think you’d make a very compelling peanut seller. J. Ps , this is the only other stamp I have [arrow if pointing toward a stamp that says love with two birds kissing and a heart]”

Letter from@house “oh Wilson I feel utterly courted. I bet these are the stamps you use for your mother. I’ve told Steve’s people to reach out to mine. I’ll reserve a ticket & work on my pitch. “Get your peanuts here” is simple but classic for a reason. I’ll continue to give it some thought. House”

 

A 24 year old in oncology. 

That explains the penmanship.

And a bleeding heart to boot.

Don't tell me, you're a pisces too. 

I'm a diagnostician. Infectious

disease speciality. I dabble in

nephrology. Knew the OCE since

they were handing out recorders, though. 

Child's play.

House, I am a pisces actually,

well sussed. My handwriting isn't THAT

bad is it? & aren't we all diagnosticians?

Kind of the name of the game...

Take note of the address if you'd like

to keep up these cute little cards,

you'll have to update your little black

book. I'm back at Columbia. & maybe

keep the hooker stories to a minimum. 

There is no envelope after all and I

have a reputation to uphold. J

James Wilson, 

Oh Old Sport, that

contact you gave me

for that mouthwatering

lady of the night, Ms.

Kitty, was most valuable!

You've got marvelous taste 

(literally, if you did what I

did!) You must continue 

to share your roster!

Your grateful friend, Greg

Wilson,

No, we are not all diagnosticians.

I, however, am.

Matching stamps? How embarassing.

One of us is going to have to 

change.

[doodle of a house]

House,

I bet you thought that letter

was going to get me in Sleep

On the Couch level trouble

w/ my wife, but she took 1

look at it & said "that guy

@ your house is quite the comedian."

I told her you outta reach out to Steve Martin but somehow

she didn't seem to think you'd

make it past handing out peanuts, but I

think you'd make a very compelling peanut seller. J

PS. This is the only other stamp I have [stamp that says LOVE with 2 birds and a heart]

Oh Wilson, I feel utterly courted. 

I bet these are the stamps

you use for your mother. 

I've told Steve's people to reach

out to mine I'll reserve you a

ticket & work on my pitch.

"Get your peanuts here" os simple

but classic for a reason. I'll continue

to give it some thought. 

House

 

Notes:

find me on twt or tumblr @ oldmanffucker. updating 2 at a time there, so you'll see them sooner on those sites!