Chapter Text
Clover leaned against the cold, stone battlement.
Their vision was becoming fuzzy, they could feel their body shutting down.
Every joint ached, every sense flooded with an overwhelming amount of pain.
Their body was screaming in one last attempt to prevent death, but it was clear what was coming was inevitable.
. . .
Ha ha…
Hahahaha…
It’s not funny but Clover wanted to laugh, it was pathetic wasn’t it?
They failed.
They failed. They failed. They failed. They failed. They failed.
They.
Failed.
They couldn’t finish their mission.
They couldn’t keep their promise.
Hell! They couldn’t even get over themselves and try to talk more to the people they cared about!
This was for the greater good but why?
Why did it feel so hollow?
Tears welled up in Clover’s eyes as their signature neutral expression turned into a grimace.
Smile for them.
They had to smile for them.
…
Oh.
They’re sorry.
They’re so sorry.
They’re sorry towards Ceroba for making her watch another kid die.
They’re sorry towards Axis for not being able to make it to his wedding.
They’re sorry towards Starlo for having to take their deputy away even if it was for justice.
They’re sorry towards Martlet for making her wish go to waste and having to carry this burden.
They’re sorry towards Dalv for not spending more time with him or saying goodbye.
They’re sorry towards Flowey for never being able to help him in his goal.
They’re sorry towards Toriel for leaving her behind, they’re sure she was such a sweet lady.
But it’s not just about them is it?
They’re sorry towards their older sibling for never being able to protect them back.
They’re sorry towards their partners in crime for not stopping them or even going with them.
They’re sorry towards their friends for never trying to search for them until it had been far too late.
They’re sorry towards Frisk for never coming back.
Clover felt their body go numb, the world becoming nothing more than colours and shades thrown together in a mixer.
Their eyelids. Felt. Heavy. And. Slowly. Closed.
Despite everything.
It felt peaceful.
They hope death would be this peaceful as well.
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Clover matched through the thick layer of snow in lower snowdin, they knew Martlet told them there was a blizzard recently but they didn’t expect this much!
They should really start checking the mail news more often, their legs were struggling for their life in this cursed layer of icy doom!
Clover hugged the basket of corn they brought close to their chest.
It’s become cold.
They’d pleaded with Starlo to help them pick corn on the farm because his family wasn’t there and they’ll deliver this stupid basket of hard work even if Flowey is going to have to load because of it.
Clover passed the already finished puzzles, they should remind Martlet to reset them later today!
She’s been talking about it, but she seems to keep forgetting.
Clover arrived at Dalv’s cabin; it had a door knocker instead of a doorbell.
The old people back on the surface had similar ones, was Dalv old as well?
Clover stood on their tippy toes to reach it, using it to try and alert whoever was inside.
There was no sign of life for the first few minutes before there was a soft thud and the creak of the door as it opened just a bit.
“Uh… Hello?”
Dalv’s eyes fell on Clover standing in the snow without any extra layers.
“Clover? Clover!! What are you doing here?”
Dalv opened the door entirely, ushering Clover to get inside.
“The snow outside is thick, you sent me a letter about coming over a few days ago but you shouldn’t have come under these circumstances!”
Clover only flashed him a quick smile as they stepped inside, holding up the basket of corn for him.
Dalv blinked a few times when presented with it and let out a soft sigh.
“Clover…. Thank you, but you really didn’t have to go through the trouble.”
Dalv accepted the basket, Clover tasted sweet victory as he did.
“I wasn’t expecting you to actually come so I’m a bit unprepared, but you’re here nevertheless. So come on inside and try to warm up a bit ok?”
Dalv made a motion to follow as he walked down the short hall into the living room.
They brushed off their pants and took off their boots so they wouldn’t spread snow all around the house before following him.
Just like his house in the ruins it was surprisingly clean and simple at the same time, Clover sat down on their signature spot at the table.
They noticed a few drawings scattered across it, some of other monsters they recognize like flier and froggit, some of Dalv or residents of the wild east and even one of Clover themself!
Dalv emerged from the kitchen in the next room over with two cups, judging from the smell it was hot corn chocolate!
…
Should Clover be concerned by the sheer amount of Corn Dalv eats?
Dalv handed Clover a cup which they greatly appreciated and kept one for himself, noticing Clover staring at the drawings.
“What do you think? Penilla has been helping me a lot in the process of making these and I feel I’ve been making progress?”
Clover doubted Dalv’s questioning tone at the end was intentional, but they gave the only reply they could think of.
“… it’s pretty.”
Dalv smiled brightly, he was happy!!!
“Thank you Clover, while I don’t think it’s that special myself I’m glad someone liked it.”
Clover took a sip of their beverage, to this day they cannot comprehend how the corn is overpowering the chocolate.
They wonder what this’d taste like with honey or gunpowder…
Dalv tapped the edges of his cup of tea nervously, Clover cocked their head to the side.
Dalv noticed it and snorted a little.
“It’s nothing Clover, I’ve just been thinking about holding a little concert with my organ in the wild east. Though I don’t think I can pull it off.”
Clover thought for a moment before putting down their cup and pulling out their fabled harmonica.
They pointed at themself.
“Rehearse..?”
Dalv looked at Clover, squinting his eyes a little.
“Rehearse…? Do you… want me to rehearse a song with you and your harmonica?”
Clover nodded furiously, Dalv laughed.
“Alright then, but you’ll have to promise me something.”
?
“Promise me you’ll be there to listen alright?”
Clover nodded, they’d like that.
The two played random songs far into the night until Dalv got a panicked Martlet on his doorstep, the two tried to build confidence in their musical talents while first and foremost having fun.
Clover never ended up fulfilling that promise did they?
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Clover couldn’t feel their body, the only thing they could feel was their soul bobbing up and down.
It felt like they were in a void, were they really?
A little entertainment would be… Nice.
The constant silence was going to drive them insane here.
The song they played with Dalv that day echoed through their soul, it filled them with memories and a spark of determination not to let it end here.
People were waiting on them.
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Clover rests inside of the saloon, they had root beer standing in front of them.
They weren’t thirsty.
What happened?
Why did the Feisty five stop Ceroba?
Should they look around for answers or wait?
Too many questions.
Not enough answers.
. . .
The feisty five- four?
They haven’t talked to Clover since this morning, since the fight.
Even after Ed carried them back to the wild east they all avoided them like the plague, scattering like the wind.
Clover poked at their glass of root beer, bubbles fizzing upwards.
Maybe they should check Ceroba’s old home, but would that really be safe to do alone?
“Not thirsty?”
Clover straightened their back when they heard Moray’s voice.
They turned to see the fish monster sitting down next to them.
“The steamworks are almost just as hot as hotland with all the tampered fluids there, dehydration is no joke.”
Clover gave a small nod, they used all the root beer they’ve saved and even bought some h2o.
They did feel a bit thirsty, but they didn’t feel like eating or drinking anything.
Moray sighed, there were a few beats of awkward silence between the two.
The chattering of the saloon taking over the conversation, yet it didn’t make it any less tense.
Clover noticed the rest of the group sitting down around them, Ace stood next to Moray and Ed sat down at the other side of Clover.
While they didn’t know where Mooch was, they could count on her being somewhere and… Breaking some kind of law.
Moray took a sip out of a bottle of water, Clover wonders if it tastes any different than the bottles in the steamworks.
“Alright, Clover. We’ve beat around the bush long enough.”
“Huh?”
What was this all about?
Moray placed their bottle down on the counter.
“We would like to apologize for our actions this morning.”
Were they talking about the fight?
Ace leaned on Moray a bit, tipping his hat over his eye.
“I try to avoid having to apologize all together, but it’s undeniable that we were in the wrong for starting that fight.”
Ed rested his hand- no a few of his fingers on Clover’s shoulder.
“Look, we all got caught up in the fantasy of the cowboy thing without ever asking if you wanted to go along with it or letting you leave.”
Moray looked like they wanted to glare at Ed.
“We aren’t planning on excusing our actions, it won’t change what we did. Confronting North st— Starlo and leaving him without even trying to talk to him first and attacking you instead was unreasonable, so please if you can find it in yourself. Forgive us.”
Clover didn’t know how to respond, the sound of scraping on the table drew their attention.
They looked down at the counter, Mooch had appeared slowly pushing a golden coin that reminded Clover of the coins in a game with a certain red plumber towards them.
Clover put their hand on the coin, gently pushing it back.
Their throat was closing up again, but they had to say something.
Should they forgive them, they were in the wrong but judgement can get clouded when emotions are involved.
Then there are prejudices and assumptions, they’re sure monsters have been told from young ages that humans are evil.
They remember that when they were younger they met someone from the better part of town going to a fancier school.
They didn’t trust them at first, such a secluded person always buried into their history books.
They only met because their elder sibling had a show with them on the piano, they promised their library card if they made sure Clover and their then best friend wouldn’t get in trouble.
Though little to anyone’s expectation they quickly got pulled into the hijinx of the two and got pulled into a life long contract of friendship.
…
They wonder how they’re doing.
…
Who are they kidding?
Clover snapped back to reality, they got distracted again.
They had to speak- say something!
Comfort?
How does one comfort adults???
Moray stood up, motioning for the other to come with them.
“It’s alright, we’ll give you some—“
“I forgive you.”
The feisty four perked up.
“… What?”
“I.. Forgive you, it’s alright.”
Clover refrained from cringing, oh wow they were really bad at this weren’t they?
“Really?”
Mooch beamed.
“Really!”
She sighed, leaning onto one of Ed’s arms throwing an arm over her face…
It looked way too dramatic to be an actual reaction.
“What a relief.”
Moray smiled.
“I’m glad to hear that, if something like this happens again you have my full permission to call us out on it.”
Ace nodded.
Did he think he was better than them?
Well he was absolutely right if he did.
Lastly Ed looked like he was holding back tears, despite everything he was more caring and emotional than he looked.
The five spent the night talking about cowboy shows, the surface and the underground.
Even a few stories of when the feisty five were younger!
Clover could’ve sworn Dina slipped them a few root beers on the house, they should pay her back later.
At the end of the night they all piled up in the feisty five hq and went to sleep, Clover couldn’t help worrying about their friends.
Ceroba? Starlo? Martlet? Were they safe? Were they resting? What was going on?
Despite their worries, they knew they were somewhat responsible adults.
They could do nothing more than trust they would be alright….
The next day Clover found a few trinkets in their satchel they didn’t think they had before.
Everything felt so simple back then, it felt like everything would be alright- everything would go back to normal.
It never did.
——————————————————————
——————————————————————
The smiling faces of their friends were blurring inside of their mind.
The moments they shared and the conversations they had all slowly fading into nothingness.
They didn’t want to forget…
They didn’t want to forget!
They couldn’t ever forgive themself if they forget!
Their warmth, their companionship, their hopes! Their dreams! How could they abandon their memories of that? How could they let themself forget all of that!
A spark of determination clung to their soul- their memories as stubbornly as it could.
People believed in them.
——————————————————————
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Clover shook the gates of the wild east.
The rattling sound they made were promising but…
No dice, they were still stuck inside.
They let out a soft sigh, two days of being stuck here and they’ve made barely any progress.
The missions take a while, there are intermissions in between little activities that just waste their time.
They’d be lying if they said they weren’t having any fun, but they still needed to finish their true mission.
Yes.
Their mission.
The reason they came down here.
The people they’re looking for.
Clover sighed, all these measures to prevent them from leaving seemed a bit over the top?
That just means they have good security then, though it also made the town feel like some kind of fancy birdcage.
Clover reached into a satchel and pulled out a small badge, the clover shaped metal sparkled in the light.
They’ve never been good at most types of crafts, they were only decent at mending clothing at best.
They honestly didn’t really know what to do with this badge, they aren’t a sheriff or a deputy so what reason did they have to wear this.
Their eyes turned back to the town, oh right! There is someone they could give this to… After all, he’s helped them so much!
Clover turned around, walking back to the center of the wild east.
They jumped a little when they heard a gunshot coming from Blackjack’s shop.
They rushed in to check, Blackjack was getting up rubbing his wrist.
He turned to see Clover and jumped a bit.
“Oh! Well hello human, no need to worry there was an accidental misfire.”
Clover eyed the older monster suspiciously before walking out again, strange guy.
They rushed a little getting back to the bell, the save star still waiting for them there.
They rested their hand on it.
Warm.
The star disappeared with Flowey popping out, a smug grin planted on his face.
“Hey buddy, you didn’t actually think shaking the gate so aggressively would work right?”
Clover rolled their eyes, Flowey let out a laugh.
“You never fail to amaze me! Tell me, why are you saving now? Let me guess, you’re worried one of them will kill you in your sleep.”
Clover shook their head.
“Came to give you something.”
Flowey blinked confusedly, Clover crouched down to his height and presented the badge.
Flowey stared at it for a few seconds.
“Wow… it’s…”
Good?
“HORRIBLE.”
Ouch.
“Seriously? I have vines for angel’s sake and even I can make something better than that. Also? Seriously? A clover?”
Clover sighed.
“Well if you didn’t want it you could’ve told me. I would’ve just stored it away somewhere.”
They were about to take the badge back before Flowey snatched it out of their hand.
“Hah! As if!”
Flowey clipped the badge onto his hat.
“Luckily for you I really like sparkly things.”
Clover raised an eyebrow.
“Oh really?”
Flowey nodded.
“Absolutely, the colour even complements my petals.”
Clover couldn’t help the grin tugging at the sides of their mouth.
“And it totally isn’t because you like me?”
“I put up with you for one reason; our mutual goal of killing the king.”
Flowey waved a vine.
“Not because we’re friends?”
“We’re Allies.”
“Close buddies?”
“You’ve been demoted to acquaintance.”
Clover laughed as Flowey retreated back into the sand, they’ll get him to admit it one day!
Well… they got him to admit it at the very least.
——————————————————————
——————————————————————
They wonder why Flowey never showed himself to other monsters.
Was he that unusual or just shy?
No, that didn’t fit his personality at all!
He was smug, annoying and confident beyond belief.
It absolutely did not fit him!
They hope they’ll get to ask him one day, they aren’t dead yet after all!
What kind of weird and avoidant answer will he come up with this time?
Maybe he’ll say that he was actually a ghost only Clover could see!
The comedy potential of that conversation and the thought of a future ignited a feeling of determination.
People were still waiting for them to help them!
——————————————————————
——————————————————————
Clover got up from their laying position, making sure the feisty five and Ceroba were asleep.
They slid off of the couch as silently as possible and snuck out of the hq, with the big swelterstone covered the smaller ones on the roof were visible shimmering like stars.
They wonder if there are any other places in the underground like this?
Clover walked through the sand back to the saloon, it was still open and even had quite a handful of customers.
They walked up the counter and waited till Dina noticed they were there.
“Oh, Clover? Couldn’t fall sleep?”
Clover nodded, they pulled out some G and pointed to the feisty slider.
Dina got the message.
“Still hungry after dinner, I expected something like this to happen- you’re a growing kid after all.”
She slid the G back and Clover panicked.
“Don’t worry about paying, after what happened with Kanako… I’d hate to see another kid struggling through stressful times without appropriate support.”
Kanako?
Who is that?
…
Maybe they’ll find out later, they have more important things to worry about.
Dina handed them the feisty slider and Clover left, though they didn’t take the G they left on the counter with them.
The door to the prison opened without any resistance, did they really not bother locking it?
They walked to Martlet’s cell and knocked on the bars, Martlet stirred- had she fallen asleep?
Clover knocked a bit louder, Martlet made a few disgruntled sounds as she sat up.
The rubbed her eyes with one of her wings, it didn’t take long for her to recognize Clover and rush to the bars fast enough for them to stumble backwards a little.
“Clover!! You’re still alright! I was really worried since you’re a human and all, though they don’t seem like bad people.
The fish- I think their name was Moray? snuck me some extra food during lunch.”
Oh! Moray said that, guess they weren’t lying!
“Have you eaten enough? Have you gotten hurt? Do younger humans eat a more like younger monsters to grow.”
Martlet inspected Clover and squawked when she saw the very real gun in Clover’s holster.
“WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN? Well you already had a gun but a REAL gun! That’s a safety hazard! The people here might be good but this prison is horrible- no privacy, from really hot to really cold without any blankets or air conditioning- not that the cold really bothers me- and weird food!”
Martlet slumped against the bars.
“The royal guard must be so worried… If I don’t get back in time either I or this town is going to be in trouble…”
It was getting awfully tempting to try and break Martlet out, but they never learned how to lockpick.
Someone else always did it for them whenever their parents locked the door before they got home in time.
Clover sighed, it must be stressful to be imprisoned.
Not like Clover wasn’t, but they had more space to move.
Wordlessly they pulled a spare blanket they snuck into their satchel and the feisty slider out for Martlet.
Martlet beamed, she gratefully took the items and wrapped the blanket around herself.
“You brought this here for me? Wow! You really didn’t have to after I crashed the boat and practically brought us here! Thank you so much for that!!”
Martlet’s expression became a bit more strained and uncertain.
“I uh… hate to ask this but have you made any progress to getting out or?”
Clover turned their gaze to the ground.
“… ‘sorry, no.”
Don’t get mad don’t get mad don’t get mad don’t get mad don’t get mad don't get ma—
Clover looked back at Martlet once she made a laughing sound.
She wasn’t mad?
“That’s fine! I didn’t really expect a lot, you’re just a kid…”
Martlet looked a bit concerned when Clover looked up… what’s wrong? Was something on their face?
She tore off a piece of the feisty slider.
“Here! You’re a kid so you should eat, don’t try and stick around too long okay? You were practically freezing during our encounter in snowdin and I don’t want a repeat of that!”
Clover took the piece, they weren’t hungry but they popped it into their mouth either way.
It tasted good.
Martlet bumped Clover’s shoulder, it made them shiver a little.
“You already did great bringing me these things! You should get back to sleep.”
Clover hesitated, should they really go back? Leaving martlet here with some really suspicious lizard person?
Martlet’s eyes narrowed a bit before they lit up with an idea.
“How about this? If you go to sleep I will take you flying when we’re free! Ok?”
Flying?… Clover was curious as to how that’d feel…
They nodded.
“G’night.”
“Goodnight Clover, stay safe!”
Martlet waved Clover goodbye as they left the prison.
They ended up sneaking extra food to Martlet each night, they even managed to get her a Cowboy patch
Martlet encouraged them all the way through the missions and even complicated some of their terrible crafts, they hope they could make something with her in the future!
She never went flying with them, they were never able to ask her to make something with them.
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Clover really liked Martlet hanging! She was air headed and clumsy, yes but she also reminded them of something familiar whenever they talked to her.
The answer was so close… it was itching at them from within the corner of their mind!
They couldn’t remember any reasons as to why, where they just going insane in this dark place?
Clover tried to wiggle around with their soul to no avail, they would’ve liked to find out how flying felt without being unable to feel, hear or see anything.
Moving wasn’t completely off the table but it never got them anywhere except bumping into something and sending a wave of discomfort through their soul.
People had plans to do something with them…
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Clover sat in the sand trying to build a sand castle to no avail.
They just finished the first ‘mission’, it was very unimpressive.
They didn’t really want to sit with the feisty five in the bar yet, they did kidnap them after all and they didn’t want to have to feel the guilt of seeing Martlet locked up… What a selfish thought.
They had to find a way to escape! But right now, they were tired.
They wanted to excuse it with them just trying to calm down to arrange their thoughts, but they were tired.
They were freezing a day ago, spending a week in that hellscape of snow camping out in trees or that abandoned shack until they found a way to get out, being at risk of getting attacked by monsters every time.
They just needed one day.
One day without getting to attack and to sort their mind before continuing.
“Howdy little pardner’ ya doing alright down there?”
The second Clover heard the accent as they swiftly turned around to meet the gaze of the sheriff.
Getting up from the ground in record time, their hand hovering over their holster.
Wow, dying to el bailador 38 times really did wonders to their reaction time.
Though they don’t know how to feel about the ABSOLUTELY REAL GUN they’d been given.
North Star threw his hands up as a sign of peace.
“Hey now Clover, I’m not going to hurt cha. I’m sure the dunes were dangerous getting here with all the monsters but I promise ya on my badge that no one here will lay a hurtful finger on you ‘aight?”
Clover stood up a bit straighter, they lowered their hand but still kept it close to their holster.
North Star made a thinking face.
“Still nervous ah?”
He raised a finger.
“Well let me tell ya here! Everyone here is SUPER nice! I will personally eat my boot if any of ye ‘ol residents here hurt ya!”
Clover had to repress giggles, alright, as much as they hate to admit it that got them.
North Star reached out a hand.
“Come now, how about we go inside and play a good ol’ game of cards?”
Clover nodded and headed inside, though they didn’t take the Sheriff's hand.
Later that very same Sheriff would regret inviting Clover to the table of cards as they beat everyone in cards 4-10 the four victories being won solely by ace.
All those games of cards against their friends really helped, though their strategies were a bit ‘mean’.
As a victory prize, Sheriff North Star had given them a nice cream coupon!
They don’t even know what that is but if their elder sibling taught them anything it was that coupons were good! Very good!
Though they never actually got to use it, it was a nice gesture.
The coupon must be rotting with Clover’s corpse by now.
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How long have they been here? How much have they forgotten?
Have they even forgotten anything or was there nothing to forget in the first place?
They can’t tell, they can’t tell, THEY CAN’T TE—-
A needle punctured the bright yellow soul, a spark of determination smothered.
Was there even anyone left that would want them to return anymore?
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Ceroba sat down in front of a familiar grave, the wind dislodging petals from the bright red tree fluttering down onto the carved piece of stone.
The letters on the grave were the same as last time, but somehow it didn’t hurt any less.
‘CLOVER’
‘20XX’
‘12’
‘A DEPUTY UNWORTHY OF THEIR FATE.’
Ceroba lowered her head a little, its been a year.
A year exactly since she made the idiotic decision of letting them go through with the decision.
She likes to believe she’s moved on, but she’s accepted the fact she’ll never see either Clover or Kanako again.
Memories of children she loved so dearly, yet hurt so much being ripped away from her.
One her own and one… She’d never dare to make that presumption after her actions.
Hah… haha, Clover… Kanako…
Sacrifice was far too cruel a fate for the both of them.
The light in their eyes… their stubborn natures… They were so similar.
… She should’ve tried to talk to get Clover to talk more, they were so quiet though did they really want to hold their tongue?
Despite the moments they shared, the fight they had- Ceroba never found out what Clover’s birthday was, their favorite food or their family.
Even their very last name was a mystery.
What a horrible adult she was, she claimed to had grown respect for- and cared so much about and she didn’t even know basic knowledge any friend would know about them.
Martlet joined Ceroba, sitting down next to her.
She left a carved flower by the grave as a gift, the two stayed silent respecting each others thoughts and privacy.
Soon enough Martlet left, then Starlo came by with the feisty five, then Dalv along with Penilla and flier, then Dina and Blackjack and even a few froggits.
Ceroba could’ve sworn she saw a golden flower pop up as well, but she was probably tired of just sitting by the grave for the majority of the day.
It hurt when she gave the soul to the king, it hurt even more when she saw Clover’s corpse- their body get carried into the castle.
She felt guilty for leaving it behind, she didn’t know they wouldn’t turn to dust- she didn’t though she should’ve at least stayed with them despite their refusal.
Ceroba left a four leafed clover at the grave along with the many flowers the others had left.
She clasped her hands together, a prayer.
“If there really is an angel up there… Please right the injustices that have fallen upon the children that have fallen here… Humans and monsters alike.”
It was a silly hope anyone would hear her, it was a futile wish to see the people she cared for again.
Ceroba stood up to leave, looking back at the grave one last time.
The blue artificial light from the streets houses in the background, it framed the grave covered in yellow flowers and red petals almost perfectly.
Little did Ceroba know that that day another human fell down to the underground, one that’d choose peace over violence.
One that’d make or break the future of all monsterkind in the underground.
A certain flower grew agitated watching the child that’d rudely stolen his ability to save— what was wrong with them! Why wouldn’t they hurt anyone?! Why were they so much like them!