Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Interior Studio

The classic Jeopardy! logo sign hangs above a typical TV sound stage. A dark skinned man with a handsome smile and square glasses stands in the center. This is our host, Warlin Door. 

On the left of the screen (stage right) is a wall of stacked CRT televisions forming an array of screens that will form the game board. On the opposite side of the stage are three player podiums. Each one has a person behind it, with their name written in white handwritten letters over a blue background on the front of the podium. 

WARLIN DOOR

Welcome back to an all new season of Jeopardy!: The Dark Place! I am your host, Warlin Door, and we have a fantastic game ahead of us tonight, folks.

Applause from an offscreen, in-studio audience.

DOOR

Tonight’s contestants come to us from across time and space. First, we have Thomas Zane!

Close up of Zane at his podium, which is labeled by his full name. He appears to be a man in his mid-40s, with dark hair that hangs in loose curls down to his shoulders. He is clean-shaven and beaming at the camera, the audience, the host, and other contests as he grips the podium. His enthusiasm is infectious.

ZANE

Thrilled to be here!

DOOR

Likewise, likewise. And next we have Tim Breaker!

Breaker is in a sheriff’s uniform, minus the hat. His beard looks a little shaggy, and his eyes are wild. He doesn’t stop staring at Door or say anything as the audience applauds in welcome. His podium reads ‘Sheriff Breaker’

DOOR

And last but certainly not least is Alan Wake!

Wake looks remarkably similar to Zane, but he has a short beard and seems considerably more disheveled and less rested. He looks around wildly as if confused how he got onto the stage, then smiles nervously at the audience. His podium simply says ‘Alan’.

Door gestures to the wall of TVs, which light up with category titles and point rankings.

DOOR

Now, let’s get right into it! We have a wonderful mix of categories for you, folks. Starting with: Paranatural Entities, Bright Falls’ Finest, Local Legends, Cold Cases, Hot Headlines, and More Than Deer.

Tom, we’ll start with you.

ZANE

Give me Paranatural Entities for 500.

DOOR

“This deity of the sea and other bodies of water has watched over every contestant on the show tonight.”

All the contestants look confused by this as the timer counts down. Zane looks puzzled. Breaker watches Door pensively. Wake looks around in bafflement as if the answer to the question might be watching him right this minute.

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim?

BREAKER

Who is Poseidon?

DOOR

Nope. The answer we were looking for was: Ahti.

WAKE

What?!

ZANE

Perkele!

BREAKER

Huh.

DOOR

Tom, we’re still with you. 

ZANE

Vittu. Alright. Let us try Local Legends 500.

DOOR

Known for hits like “The Sea of Night” and “Children of the Elder God”, one local rock band lost this member just as they reached their heyday. 

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom?

ZANE

Who is Loki Darkens?

DOOR

Correct! And you’re on the board with 500 points. Next category?

Zane looks pleased with himself at the correct answer. He smiles as he surveys his options.

ZANE

Local Legends 400.

DOOR

“It is said that this witch haunts the area surrounding Cauldron Lake.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

Who is Baba Jakala?

Zane turns a sharp glare at Breaker, who doesn’t take notice.

DOOR

Correct! We have a real competition now, folks! What’s your category, Tim?

BREAKER

Uh, I guess, uh, Cold Cases. For 100.

DOOR

Alright. “The film ‘Cold Case Casey’ is an adaptation of the novel with this title.

 A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Alan! It’d be a bit embarrassing for you to not get this one, huh? (Laughter.)

WAKE

(Wincing through a smile.) What is What I Can’t Forget.

It isn’t a question when Wake says it. He wrote the book after all. 

DOOR

100 points to Alan! Now everyone’s in the running. Your selection, Alan.

Wake looks surprised to receive this prompt. He looks around like he doesn’t know where he is again, then focuses on the array of TVs. 

WAKE

Er, Local Legends, I guess. 100.

DOOR

“Don’t go into the forest around Cauldron Lake alone, especially at night, or you might run into these masked individuals.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim?

BREAKER

Th cul– Who is The Cult of the Tree?

DOOR

Nice save there, sheriff! That is correct. 

Sheriff Breaker’s demeanor has changed. He looks more focused on the game now. Determined. 

BREAKER

Local Legends 200.

DOOR

“Aliens, government experiments, even witchcraft has been floated as the real reason that this island sank in 1970.”

All three contests press their buzzer emphatically at the same second. The noise sounds, and it’s Wake’s station that lights up.

DOOR

Alan?

ZANE

Saatana!

WAKE

What is Bird Leg Cabin?

DOOR

No! Sorry.

Wake looks towards the other contestants, flabbergasted. They both try to buzz in again, and this time Breaker’s podium is the one to light up.

DOOR

Tim?

ZANE

Jumalauta! 

BREAKER

What is Diver’s Isle?

DOOR

Yes! We were looking for the name of the island itself, not the cabin. Tim?

BREAKER

Uh, let’s close it out. Local Legends 300.

DOOR

“Cauldron Lake serves as the setting for this semi-autobiographical independent film by an award winning director.”

A buzzer sounds .

DOOR

Tom?

ZANE

Jumalauta, finally! What is ‘Tom the Diver’?

DOOR

Yes, naturally. That brings you up to 800 total. Next choice?

ZANE

(Rubbing his hands together in anticipation.) Give me Hot Headlines 500.

DOOR

“Following a string of violent outbursts while under the influence, Alan Wake was dubbed this by New York tabloids.”

WAKE

Aw, fu– C’mon!

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom?

ZANE

(Grinning wolfishly.) What is the Bad Boy of Fiction?

DOOR

Correct!

Wake rolls his eyes and buries his face in both hands with a groan.

ZANE

Hot Headlines 400.

DOOR

“When this local poet took a step towards performance, a local reporter said they were ‘diving into film’.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom

ZANE

(Sweeping his arms wide to the side and beaming into the camera.) Who is Thomas Zane?

DOOR

(Laughing.) Of course! Who else?

Wake rolls his eyes and scoffs. He doesn’t realize his microphone has picked up the sound.

ZANE

Hot Headlines for 300.

DOOR

“This psychological health center was shut down following a meteorological event in 2010, causing tensions throughout the region.”

A long pause before a buzzer sounds, just in time.

DOOR

Alan?

WAKE

Er...Hartman’s...Lodge?

DOOR

Uh, no.

A failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

We were looking for Cauldron Lake Lodge.

WAKE

Oh...

DOOR

Tom, we’re still with you.

ZANE

Okay...öö, Hot Headlines 200.

DOOR

“It was a sad day for Bright Falls when the front page headline informed the public that this animal named Mocha had passed away.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Sheriff!

BREAKER

Who is Mocha Moose.

DOOR

Oh, I’m sorry. (Winces.)

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom!

ZANE

What is a moose!

BREAKER

Shit!

DOOR

That’s correct. We already had his name.

Zane laughs. Breaker looks frustrated. Wake looks lost.

DOOR

Tom, your pick again.

ZANE

Perkele. Only one thing for it. Hot Headlines 100.

DOOR

“It wasn’t front page news, but this Alan Wake super fan made sure to post on her fansite when the famous author rolled into town.”

BREAKER

Well, surely he knows that.

Wake looks at Breaker in confusion, then to the host. Zane is smirking and makes no move to buzz in. Wake grows more frantic as the timer counts down. He presses the button in the nick of time. A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Alan?

WAKE

Who is...Ro–Roberta?

Breaker gives Wake a baffled look. A failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Who is Rose Marigold. You don’t remember your number one fan’s name?

WAKE

I–I remember her! The waitress!

ZANE

Wow, perkele. Real classy, Alan. 

Wake glares across the room at him.

DOOR

Well, Tom, that category didn’t exactly go your way, but it’s done now. So where are we going next?

ZANE

Paranatural Entities for 300.

DOOR

Middle of the road. Okay. 

ZANE

(Muttering.) Jumalauta.

DOOR

“The Federal Bureau of Control has a different name for people who are Taken by a strong power from the Dark Place.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom.

ZANE

What is Shaded.

DOOR

Yes! Makes sense you would know that one. (Laughs.)

Breaker and Wake glance curiously in Zane’s direction.

ZANE

(Laughing.) Paranatural Entities for 400!

DOOR

The confidence is back, folks. “An episodic, speculative TV show was brought back to the screen years after its original cancellation. This time hosted by this charismatic man.”

A buzzer sounds.

WAKE

(Squinting suspiciously at the host.) Who is Warlin Door?

DOOR

(Laughing and preening.) Correct! 

Wake grins with a nervous, budding pride. Zane claps for him, and it’s hard to tell if he’s being facetious. Everyone waits expectantly until Wake realizes they’re all looking at him.

WAKE

Oh! Uh, right. Um...Bright Falls’ Finest...100?

DOOR

“This family has provided three of Bright Falls’ recent sheriffs.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

(Grinning.) What is the Breaker family?

DOOR

We were going for ‘Who are the Breakers?’, but that works too.

BREAKER

Bright Falls’ Finest! Let’s go! Uh, 200.

DOOR

Ope! And there’s our Daily Double! It was really hiding this time. 

BREAKER

Oh, sick.

DOOR

You have 700 points so far. How much would you like to wager? 

BREAKER

Uh, let’s go with 400. 

DOOR

“Becoming Taken is just a hazard of the job at the Bright Falls Sheriff’s Department, but these two deputies had a particularly rough go of it before being gunned down by FBI Special Agent Saga Anderson.”

Wake looks around with a furrowed brow, thinking hard. There is a note of guilt in his eyes.

BREAKER

Who are Deputy Thornton and, uh...fuck, not Deputy Mulligan?

DOOR

Alas, unfortunately for them, you are correct. Deputies Mulligan and Thornton did get Taken by the Shadow and put out of their misery by Agent Anderson.

BREAKER

Damn...

Wake swallows nervously. He still joins the audience in applauding along with Zane.

ZANE

Go her.

BREAKER

Gimme Bright Falls Finest 500!

DOOR

“The first Sheriff Breaker left the force to work for this government agency.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim.

BREAKER

What is the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

DOOR

Incorrect!

Breaker looks flummoxed by this news. A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Alan!

WAKE

What is the Federal Bureau of Control?

DOOR

Correct! There we go. That puts it back to you, Alan.

WAKE

Okay, um, More Than Deer, 100?

DOOR

“This native predator has been known to become Taken in the past.”

A buzzer sounds. 

DOOR

Alan!

WAKE

What are wolves.

DOOR

Confidence! (Grinning proudly.) I like it! Yes, that’s correct. 

Wake grins with delighted disbelief. 

WAKE

Wow! Great. Um, More Than Deer for 200.

DOOR

“The incumbent mayor of Watery is known for his loyalty and is a member of this species.”

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

What is a dog.

DOOR

He is indeed! And a very good boy.

BREAKER

Let’s do Bright Falls’ Finest 400.

DOOR

“These two federal agents from different departments briefly clashed before coming together to save Bright Falls and the world.”

Wake and Breaker both reach for their buzzers. The noise sounds.

DOOR

Tim! It’s you.

BREAKER

Who are Agent Anderson, and, um, oh! Agent Estevez?

DOOR

That is correct!

BREAKER

Aw, hell yeah!

DOOR

You’re on a roll.

BREAKER

Bright Falls’ Finest 300.

DOOR

“The best cup of coffee in town is served at the Oh, Deer Diner—also known as Bright’s Diner. This waitress famously perfected the brew.”

Breaker and Wake race for the buzzer again.

DOOR

Alan!

WAKE

(Smirking smugly in Zane’s direction.) Who is Rose Marigold?

DOOR

You got it!

Zane sways with laughter.

DOOR

Your pick, Alan.

WAKE

Right, um. Cold Cases for 200.

DOOR

“This FBI Agent went missing in 2010 along with a slew of other people during an incident at Cauldron Lake.”

If there was a single buzzer, Wake and Breaker would be wrestling each other for it.

ZANE

Perkele, play nice, boys.

DOOR

Tim.

BREAKER

Who is Agent Nightengale!

DOOR

That’s right!

BREAKER

(With a look of determination.) Cold Cases for 300.

DOOR

“One missing person from the 2010 Altered World Event is rumored to be perfectly fine. She can be found selling beef jerky at the farmer’s market.”

Breaker looks confused and tilts his head to the side. A buzzer sounds.

WAKE

Who is, um, aw fuck, uh...Wendy Davis!

DOOR

Very good. Yes, Wendy Davis.

WAKE

More Than Deer 300.

DOOR

“The Elderwood National Park experienced a rise in its rodent population after this species was unceremoniously culled during the Altered World Event in 2010.”

WAKE

Oh, fuck...

Due to his shock, Wake is beaten to the buzzer.

DOOR

Tim.

BREAKER

What are crows.

DOOR

Correct!

BREAKER

Er, uh, More Than Deer 400.

DOOR

“Cauldron Lake, despite being a freshwater lake, has featured sightings of this salt water species.”

A long pause, then a buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom!

ZANE

What is fish?

DOOR

We need something more specific.

ZANE

Jumalauta!

A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

What is coho salmon?

DOOR

No, and that wouldn’t be unheard of at spawning season. ( Laughs.)

All eyes turn to Wake. He presses his buzzer nervously.

DOOR

Give us your best shot, Alan!

WAKE

Er, halibut?

DOOR

Correct! Wow! 

ZANE

That was a lucky guess!

Wake shrugs sheepishly.

DOOR

Fair’s fair, Mr. Zane! Alan, it’s your pick.

WAKE

Okay, well, let’s do More Than Deer.

DOOR

Closing out the category! “This mundane household item became an Object of Power in the hands of Cynthia Weaver after she promised a forgotten poet she would watch over it.”

A race for the buzzer between Wake and Zane. It’s not clear to the viewer who wins.

DOOR

Alan!

WAKE

What is the angel lamp?

DOOR

Correct!

ZANE

(Jabbing a finger in Alan’s direction.) Suksi vittuun!

WAKE

(Hardening his expression.) Give me Paranatural Entities for 100.

DOOR

“The being who assisted Dr. Casper Darling in protecting the FBC from malignant forces manifested as this type of shape.”

Breaker lights up and looks at his opponents. He looks uncertain of his answer but very keyed in. Wake looks baffled. Zane looks pensive. Zane buzzes in.

DOOR

Lay it on us, Tom.

ZANE

What is a polyhedron? 

DOOR

Not quite, we’re looking for specifics.

Breaker buzzes in emphatically fast.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

What is a  pentakis dodecahedron?

DOOR

Correct! Nice one!

BREAKER

Yes! (Pumps his fist)

ZANE

Perkele! That is a 100 point question?!

DOOR

(Shrugging) You’ve all got your ties with “Hedron”. (He uses air quotes.)

Wake looks around, baffled.

BREAKER

Give me Paranatural Entities for 200.

DOOR

“This painter created work while staying at the fraudulent Cauldron Lake Lodge care center for a number of years, creating works influenced by the power of the lake below.”

A pause, then Breaker lights up and buzzes in.

BREAKER

Who is...Rudolph Lane?

DOOR

Correct again!

BREAKER

(Looking Door dead in the eye) Cold Cases 400

DOOR

“This scientist is one of few without ties to the Federal Bureau of Control to have observed and recorded paranatural phenomena.”

A buzzer sounds.

BREAKER

I met her! Um, shit, her name was... She was from Night Springs...

Wake looks like a light bulb went off over his head. Breaker’s timer is counting down.

BREAKER

Who is Dr. Rachel, er, Rachel Meadows!

DOOR

Correct!

WAKE

She’s still stuck here? (He looks concerned.)

DOOR

Last question goes to you, Tim. We’re in Cold Cases for 500. “The Cult of the Word took root in New York City, wreaking havoc in the form of a string of ritual murders in this year thanks to the text of Alan Wake’s Initiation , acting as catalyst for the author’s reunion with a man he thought he’d made up.”

Wake has gone white as a sheet. A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim! Can you close out the first half of the show by maintaining your streak?

BREAKER

What is 2015.

DOOR

That’s correct! He’s done it, folks!

Applause sounds in the studio as theme music begins to play.

DOOR

We finish the end of our first round with Tim in first place with 3900 points, Alan in second with 2600 points, and taking up the rear is Tom with 2200 points. But all of that can change in Double Jeopardy! Stay tuned!

The camera pulls back, giving the viewer a wide shot of the stage and all three contests. Zane looks furious and is gesticulating. We can’t hear him but one can assume he’s swearing. The screen fades to black.

Chapter Text

Interior Studio

Warlin Door stands at his podium, grinning at the camera as we return to the program. 

DOOR

Welcome back to Jeopardy! We are now entering the second round of our game, Double Jeopardy. All the answers are worth double this round. And we have a fresh new set of categories.

He gestures to his right and the camera angle switches to show the full wall of CRT TVs head-on. The new categories are already displayed at the top, but Door reads them out for us, and the camera gives us a close up of each as he goes.

DOOR

Lake or Ocean, Suomalaista Taidetta—that’s “Finnish art”, Master of Many Worlds, Altered Items, Dynamite Dialog, and …In Night Springs.

BREAKER

Fuck me, is that pause a part of the category.

ZANE

Come on, it adds gravitas!

DOOR

The score sits as follows. In first we have a Mr. Sheriff Tim Breaker with 3,900 points! Trailing a ways after him in second is best selling novelist Alan Wake with 2,600 points. And not far behind in last place is Mr. Thomas Zane, celebrated auteur. 

ZANE

Don’t forget it, doll!

DOOR

Tim, the choice is yours. Ready to start us off?

BREAKER
(Clears throat.) Sure. Lake or Ocean, 400.

DOOR

“Known as the ‘coastal Detroit of America’, the city of Riverport borders this.”

Buzzer counts down while a flustered Breaker looks searchingly for the answer. He finally buzzes in.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

What is the Atlantic Ocean?

DOOR

Correct!

BREAKER

Knew that river was a red herring. I had a 50/50 shot.

Zane scoffs and rolls his eyes.

BREAKER

Same for 200 then.

DOOR

“This could be the twin of Cauldron Lake, but it’s in Oregon.”

Breaker buzzes in .

DOOR

Tim.

BREAKER

What is Crater Lake.

DOOR

That’s right.

BREAKER

Lakes for 600.

DOOR

“Nokia phones are manufactured near this.”

Zane slams his buzzer.

DOOR

Tom!

ZANE

What is Villilänsalmi.

DOOR

You got it!

ZANE

(Face screwed up with bemusement. ) When did Nokia become known for its telephones?

DOOR

(Wearing a strained grin.) It’s your pick, Tom.

ZANE

Shit. Right. Suomalaista Taidetta for 1000!

DOOR

“This blue and white vase was featured as a digital asset in the second Alan Wake video game produced by Finnish video game studio Remedy Entertainment.”

All three contestants look confusedly at each other as the time runs low.

WAKE

The what video game?!

ZANE

I believe he said the second.

WAKE

Fuck you!

Buzzer sounds .

DOOR

The answer we were looking for was the hydria apothecary vase, labeled “Aquæ. Plantag”.

BREAKER

Who the hell was supposed to get that?!

DOOR

Mr. Zane, it’s still your pick.

ZANE

Perkele. Fine. Suomalaista Taidetta for 800.

DOOR

“Known for his erotic art of men, this maestro of pencil and ink pushed boundaries in the middle of the 20th Century.”

Zane and Breaker race for the buzzer.

DOOR

That goes to Tom!

ZANE

Who is Tom of Finland!

DOOR

Of course! (Genial laugher.) You would know something about that, now, wouldn’t you?

ZANE

We Finnish Toms have to stick together. (Wink. More laughter.) Give me the same for 600.

DOOR

“Is he a poet or a filmmaker?”

Zane begins to bounce on the balls of his feet, grinning like a giddy school boy.

DOOR

“–Unless you own a shoebox, you may never know.” Yes, Tom, please don’t break the buzzer.

ZANE

Who is me!

WAKE

This is fucking rigged!

BREAKER

Focus, Alan, we’ve got this.

WAKE

(Rolls eyes.) Speak for yourself.

ZANE

Excuse me, gentlemen, it is my choice for the next prompt.

WAKE

We know what you’re gonna pick.

ZANE

(Scowling.) Master of Many Worlds for 200!

DOOR

Alright, a change of pace. “Not many, but two’s a plenty for this type of journey.”

Wake twitches violently as he presses his buzzer.

DOOR

Alan! Don’t embarrass yourself now. (Chuckles.)

WAKE

Er… What? Why would you–?

DOOR

Stick to the question, Alan.

WAKE

(Swallows nervously.) What is the hero’s journey?

DOOR

Very good! That’s right of course.

WAKE

Er, dialog for 200, I guess.

DOOR

We’re looking for the name of the speaker for these ones. "The dame who walked into my office was as pretty as lady liberty, and I had believed her to be just as dead."

Wake hesitates a moment too long and is beaten to the buzzer.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

Who is Special Agent Alex Casey?

DOOR

(Hemming and hawing.) Yes, my producers are telling me we’ll take that on a technicality.

BREAKER

Uh…okay.

DOOR

The real answer was Detective Alex Casey, as it’s from Return To Sender (gesturing) by Alan Wake. But seeing as he is so closely based on the FBI agent, we’ll accept both.

Wake looks stricken and pale.

BREAKER

(Grumbling.) I’ll take it.
DOOR

Your pick.

BREAKER

Gimme Master of Many Worlds for 400.

DOOR

“This scientist had only visited two dimensions at the time of publishing My Interpretation of Many Worlds .” 

Buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom!

ZANE

(Grinning smugly.) Who is the lovely Dr. Casper Darling?

DOOR

Bet you would have been in trouble if you missed that one! (Laughs.)

ZANE

(Ignoring him.) Many Worlds for 600.

DOOR

“Not gods…or are they? These kinds of people are responsible for the creation of new worlds.”

Breaker scratches his head, but Zane and Wake race for the buzzer.

DOOR

Tom again!

WAKE

Fucking hell!

ZANE

What are artists? 

DOOR

Another 600 points to Mr. Zane. Perhaps that one should have been worth less given tonight’s contestants. (Laughs.)

Breaker looks indignant.

ZANE

Give us 800, sir.

DOOR

“This supervillain’s title is ‘The Master of Many Worlds’ in an episode of the television show Night Springs.”

Everyone hesitates, but then Wake has a flash of inspiration and buzzes in.

DOOR

(Grinning.) There we are, Alan. Let’s hear it.

WAKE

(Nervously.) Whos is– well… Who is Warlin Door?

DOOR

Very true, if I do say so myself.

WAKE

(Smiles nervously.) Dynamite Dialog for 400. Please.

DOOR

Well, since you asked nicely. (Laughs.) “A quote from this fictional character is referenced in the title of the last Alex Casey novel.”

Buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim! Wow! But do you have the right answer?

BREAKER

Who is Riddick?

DOOR

Indeed! Richard B. Riddick!

WAKE

C’mon!

Breaker grins proudly.

BREAKER

Night Springs for 200.

DOOR

This category is asking for the episode title. Here we go: “A woman abruptly kisses Alvin Derleth and ritually implants him with the Dweller in Flesh.”

All three go for the buzzer. Wake is the slowest by far.

DOOR

Tim! In by a hair.

BREAKER

That was um– What is Family, uh, Family Occasion!

DOOR

Correct! I thought Tom was going to get a chance to steal there! (Laughs.)

ZANE

(Muttering.) Saatana. 

BREAKER

(Shrugs non-chalantly at Zane.) Give me 400 in the same.

DOOR

“Actor Shawn Ashmore is awoken to the reality that the characters he plays are his alternate selves fighting an extra-dimensional threat.”

Buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Alan!

WAKE

What is Time Breaker.

DOOR

Yes, indeed.

BREAKER

(Murmuring softly.) Time breaker…

WAKE

Dialog for 600.

DOOR

Oh and you’ve found the Daily Double!

Applause from the studio audience. Zane looks amused, perhaps excited. Breaker looks dismayed.

DOOR

Alright, Alan, your score stands at exactly 4000 points at the moment, last place. How much do you wish to wager?

WAKE

(Swallows nervously and looks side to side at his opponents’ scores.) 1,000 points.

DOOR

With 1,000 points on the line, here’s your quote. “His skull will become the crown of the grandmaster. The dead brought back to life!"

WAKE

(Looks surprised, hesitates.) Who is…oh shit, um, who is Jaakko Koskela.

Failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Anyone want to steal?

Both attempt to buzz in .

DOOR

Tim.

BREAKER
Who is Ilmo Koskela. (Sends a smug look Zane’s way.)

ZANE

Whatever, I forgot we named the ones in the book differently from my film anyway.

BREAKER

They’re real people! I was there!

DOOR

Okay! (Nervous laughter.) Settle down now, gentlemen. We still have a game to play. The score is now sitting with Tim in the lead at a whopping 6,100 points, Tom behind with 5,200, and Alan taking up the caboose with 3,000.

Wake droops defeatedly. Zane glares at Breaker. Breaker’s eyes are fixed on our host.

DOOR

It’s Tim’s pick of the questions next. Tim?

BREAKER

Well, apparently I’m good at dialog, so give me 800.

WAKE

(Muttering.) Dialog I wrote…

ZANE

And then forgot, perkele.

DOOR

Yes, yes. That’s quite enough from the peanut gallery. “The new one will be a masterpiece. I know it! You must tell him not to listen to the trolls in the forums saying "Departure" will never get finished.”

Buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Alan?

WAKE

(With a touch too much pride, given the circumstances.) Who is Rose Marigold.

DOOR

Correct!

WAKE 

Let’s finish the category.

DOOR

“I’ve been written into the story of a sadistic writer.”

The timer counts down, and it looks for a moment like no one knows the answer. Then Zane’s face lights up.

DOOR

Tom!

ZANE

Who is Aleksi Kesä.

DOOR

Correct!

BREAKER

Who?

ZANE
It’s a trick question putting the quote in English! (Congenial laughter.) But you cannot fool the great Thomas Zane!

DOOR

(Strained laughter, raising his hands in mock surrender.) You caught me!

ZANE

Suomalaista Taidetta for 400.

DOOR

“Perhaps due to the portion of the year Finns spend in darkness, this subgenre of music is particularly popular.”

The buzzer counts down. All eyes are on Zane, but he looks puzzled. He buzzes in.

DOOR

Tom?

ZANE

Rock music.

Failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Sorry, that’s too broad.

ZANE

Jumalauta, rock was new when I got stuck in here!

DOOR

To be fair, your boyfriend still had a hand in the creation of certain subgenres.

Timer runs out for an attempt to steal.

DOOR

The answer we were looking for was death metal.

BREAKER

I feel like I should’ve known that.

DOOR

You all should have.

ZANE

Alright! Shut up and give me Finnish Art for 200.

DOOR

“Brought to life by Laine and Mollberg, this film adaptation sheds light on the young nation of Finland facing existential threat during the second world war.”

Zane slams the button the second Door finishes reading the clue.

DOOR

Let’s hear it!

ZANE

What is Tuntematon Sotilas.

DOOR

Right again! Thats The Unknown Soldier in english.

ZANE

They remade it, eh? Fascinating…

DOOR

I’m sure it is, but right now we all need you to pick the next question.

ZANE

Perkele. Fine. Lakes and Oceans 800.

DOOR

“Not a drop of salt in them, but these five bodies of water are designated seas and not lakes by multiple official bodies.”

All hesitate, hands over the buzzer. Zane eyes the others suspiciously.

DOOR

Tim!

BREAKER

What are the great lakes?

DOOR

You got it!

BREAKER

Let’s, um, do Night Springs for 600.

DOOR

“An enthusiastic woman saves the object of her affections from haters sent by his werewolf twin brother.”

Theres a pause in which we see Wake guiltily, slowly reach for the buzzer.

DOOR

Alan!

WAKE

What is Number One Fan.

DOOR

That’s the one! And what a fun one it was.

WAKE

Give me, uh, the same for 800.

DOOR

You got it! “A changeling man confesses murder to an FBI agent.”

Buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim, it’s you.

BREAKER

What is Man in the Mirror.

DOOR

Correct, indeed! It’s a classic.

BREAKER

Night Springs for 1000.

DOOR

“Two female characters come face to face with their own creator.”

All three contestants look puzzled. Wake looks especially lost. Breaker is focused in deep concentration. Buzzer sounds.

DOOR

What have you got for us, Tim?

BREAKER

What is Absence of Creativity?

DOOR

Wow! A very nice pull. Where would you like to go next?

BREAKER

Er, let’s see what Altered Items is all about. For 200.

DOOR

Let’s! “This item was collect by the Federal Bureau of Control after it killed the owner of the antique shop where it was held.”

Everyone looks perplexed as the seconds tick by. A failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Well, that doesn’t bode well for the rest of the category. (Laughs.) The answer was a baby pram.

BREAKER

The fuck…?

ZANE

Vittu, isn’t that poetic?

DOOR

Choice is still yours, Tim. 

BREAKER

(Sighs.) Let’s go back to the lakes.

DOOR

Fair enough. “Cauldron Lake did not swallow Diver’s Isle as part of a natural disaster, but this lake has been known to kill thousands of human and animals via actual submersed volcanic activity.”

Breaker scowls, Wake looks lost, and Zane curiously rubs his chin. A failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

World geography can be challenging! (Laughs.) The lake in question is Lake Nyos in Cameroon. Tim? What’ll it be this time.

BREAKER

(He looks agitated.) Altered Items for 400 I guess.

DOOR

“This children’s toy is known to teleport away from anyone who tries to closely examine it.”

Buzzer sounds, and by Zane’s enthusiastic grin and wild gesture to push it, we know the audience knows who the host is about to address.

DOOR

Tom?

ZANE

(proudly.) What is a rubber duck!

DOOR

You’ve got it!

BREAKER

Why is this stuff even classified?!

Zane shrugs, nonplussed. Door laughs genially.

DOOR

Why, indeed. Next question, Tom?

ZANE

Joo, let’s just do the next one.

DOOR

Altered Items 600?

Zane nods.

DOOR

You got it! “The procedures for this item require an entire rotation of personnel to monitor it through direct observation 24/7.”

BREAKER

(Under his breath.) Really? That’s all we get?

Buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim? Have a guess for us?

BREAKER

(Dryly.) What is a copy of Goodnight Moon?

DOOR

Interesting play on a perceived theme, but no. Chance to steal?

Failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

The answer was a refrigerator.

Breaker looks at the end of his rope. Zane is amused. Wake looks slightly less lost than usual.

DOOR

Tom, give us our next question.

ZANE

(Flippantly.) Go for the 800.

DOOR

“This item was used to travel between worlds, nearly dooming New York City in which it was used.”

Zane and Wake race for the buzzer.

DOOR

Alan!

WAKE

What is the slide projector.

DOOR
Right you are!

ZANE

Perkele!

WAKE

M-Many Worlds for 1000 please.

DOOR

Oh, now this is auspicious. “The slide projector only functions when paired with slides that correspond to other dimensions. It is a mystery how many there are, were, or could be, but a number are known to have succeeded at least once.”

Zane concentrates, whispering to himself as if trying to count. Wake is almost his twin, though his demeanor is more frantic. Breaker is watching his opponents closely. A buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tim?

BREAKER

What is 5? Er–how many is 5? I dunno how this shit works.

DOOR

Yes! That is the answer we were looking for!

Breaker pumps his fist.

DOOR

May I say, you are the last person I expected to get that one.

BREAKER

(Narrows his eyes.) Guess you underestimated me.

DOOR

(His eyes glimmer intelligently.) Fair enough. Care to continue our game?

BREAKER

(Sighs.) Let’s just do 800.

DOOR

Alright. It’s only Altered Items left. “One item in the FBC’s locked away collection is truly not altered at all. It is simply so good at its job that it arouses suspicion.”

The contestants look at each other curiously. Zane shrugs. A failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR 

The answer is, a coffee thermos from the Oh Deer Diner in Bright Falls, Washington.

WAKE

What the?!

BREAKER

(Laughing lightheartedly.) Typical. Give us the last one then.

DOOR

Very well. “In 2015 the FBC had to construct a large new subsection of its Investigations Sector to contain this acquisition.”

A pause, and then a buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Tom!

ZANE

What is the slide projector!

DOOR

Oh, I’m sorry, no. That item was acquired by the bureau more than a decade earlier. Chance to steal?

A failure buzzer sounds.

DOOR

Now that’s a shame. It’s always more fun to end the round on a high note! (Laughs to camera.) The answer was a train car from the Eagle Limited passenger express train.

BREAKER

(Dryly.) Naturally. How could I forget.

DOOR

Well, our game is nearly over, folks. The scores currently stand as follows: Alan in last place with 5,100 points. Then Tom in second with 6,800. And finally in first place, Tim! With a whopping 9,900 point! 

The winner appears to be in sight, but anything can change the outcome during Final Jeopardy!

The category is… “When Worlds Collide”. Contestants, it’s time to place your wagers. Take a moment to think about it, and we’ll be back right after this break with Final Jeopardy!

We cut to a wide angle and the camera pans across the stage as the contestants consider how to place their final bets. All of them are focused, though some more than others. Breaker appears to be taking this the most seriously. 

Fade to black.

We fade back in from black and the camera flies over the stage before cutting to a shot of the host.

DOOR

Welcome back! Our contestants are locked and loaded with their bets for Final Jeopardy. How will they fair? As a reminder that category was “When Worlds Collide”. Let’s see the question, shall we? 

“Not two, but three worlds seemed to collide in this event which required the FBC to collaborate extensively with other branches of the American government in order to conceal its nature from the global public.”

Write your answers down now.

Final Jeopardy theme music plays. Breaker looks frustrated. Zane seems to have given up his ambitions of winning, or perhaps he is bluffing. Wake, once again, looks lost.

The music runs out.

DOOR

The time has come. Alan, let’s start with you. The question was: “Not two, but three worlds seemed to collide in this event which required the FBC to collaborate extensively with other branches of the American government in order to conceal its nature from the global public.” You said…

The screen on Wake’s podium reveals his answer in messy handwriting. 

DOOR

“What is that train car one?” Uh, no. Sorry, Alan, the Eagle Limited AWE is not the answer we were looking for. That’s alright though, depending on what you and your opponents wagered, you may still have skin in this game! Let’s see what that was.

More of Wake’s handwriting appears on the screen of his podium. His numbers are more legible. Wake looks defeated.

DOOR

2,000 points. That brings your total down to 3,200. A low score, for sure, but not nothing. You just have to hope your opponents risked it all and lost! Let’s see how they did, shall we?

DOOR

Let’s go to our current leader then. Tim, what have you got for us?

Breaker’s podium screen reveals his answer in sloppy but legible handwriting.

DOOR

You said, “What is the mood landing?” Oh that is a fascinating guess! 

Breaker’s face lights up.

DOOR

Not correct, unfortunately, but very close. Let’s see what you wagered.

The podium lights up with the number.

DOOR

100 points. A wise decision perhaps. That leaves you with 9,800 points, dashing Alan’s dreams of winning. Sorry, Alan. 

Wake looks dejected.

DOOR

But will our final contestant get it right and overtake you? Tom? We were asking about the most tricky cover up the FBC has pulled off to date. You said…

The camera cuts to Zane, whose podium lights up with an answer.

DOOR

“What is that moon mission with the extra space man?” (Laughs.) Sounds like the good Dr. Darling shared this story with you! So much for intergovernmental secrecy. While, much like Tim, you were on the right track, that is not on our list of acceptable answers.

ZANE

Saatana!

DOOR

We would have accepted “What is…” “...The Far Mauro AWE”, “...Fra Mauro”, or “the Fra Mauro Spaceman.”

BREAKER

(Softly.) I knew it…

DOOR

Let’s see how many points you wagered, although it isn’t going to change the outcome. Wow! All of it!

ZANE

Go big or go home!

DOOR

That is right! Now that leaves the game pretty tied up, but let’s hear final scores. In last place is Tom, with nothing.

ZANE
C’est la vie!

DOOR

In second is Alan, with 3,200 points. And our winner, Tim, finishes with a strong showing of 9,800! Very well done, Tim.

Applause continues filling the studio. 

BREAKER

Thank you. (Nods formally.) What do I win?

DOOR

(Laughs through a stiff smile.) As champion of Jeopardy!: The Dark Place! You win...the right to come on our next episode as the Undisputed Champion!

Zane laughs disbelievingly.

DOOR

And, of course, $1,000,000!

BREAKER

(Laughs.) Yeah, that’ll do me real good out here.

DOOR

Your world is what you make of it, Sheriff. 

BREAKER

Well then I say $1 million is worth a truthful answer to one question. (Tucks his thumb into his belt loop and leans on the podium.)

DOOR

Now isn’t that an interesting offer. (Smiling confidently.) Alright, one question. Ask away, Tim.

BREAKER

(His poker face doesn’t lift.) What am I still doing here, Door?

DOOR

(Hums.) There’s more for you here than where you came from.

BREAKER

What does–

DOOR
That’s all for our show! Thanks for tuning into Jeopardy!: The Dark Place! Good night, folks!

The theme music plays and we cut to an overhead shot panning out, allowing the edges of the sound stage to come into view. A shadowy studio audience applauds, and the contestants idle on stage. Tim charges towards the host but is covered by the logo. Then the scream goes dark and cuts to credits.