Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It’s been months since Lex and Nxyly were defeated, since Lillian died. Months since the loss of the only family Lena’s known for a majority of her life. At first, she felt completely lost. Where she thought she would feel a sense of freedom, a sense of relief, she instead feels utterly lost. In fact, Lena feels more lost than she did on her first day at Luthor Manor as a tiny four year old.

She’s not lonely anymore. Not in any sense of the word, not really. She spends her days splitting time between the newly formed Lena Luthor Foundation and The Tower. As a fully integrated member of the team, she works alongside the rest of her friends to keep the city safe. Most of her evenings are spent at the apartment she now shares with Kara. 

It happens organically. Neither woman wants to live alone, they talked extensively about it. The problem is, neither really trust anyone to share their space. Well, outside of each other, anyway. That’s how they end up living in Kara’s loft. The idea of finding a bigger two bedroom space gets kicked around for a while. When neither of them bring it up again, the subject gets dropped and they fall into a routine. 

The fact there is only one bed and they’re sharing it isn’t strange. Best friends do that, right? It’s not an issue. The fact Lena hasn’t mentioned it to her therapist doesn’t mean anything. She just hasn’t gotten to it. Yet. 

It’s fine.

That’s the other new thing. Lena Luthor is seeing a therapist. 

When Kelly recommends she go to therapy, she scoffs. She’s a Luthor, after all. Luthors don’t go to therapy. However, after a little time passes, she begins to question her reactions to things. Is she scoffing at therapy because that’s actually how she feels about it or because that’s how the Luthors taught her to feel? This line of thinking bleeds over into every aspect of her life making her question her beliefs and reactions to everything. Needless to say, it’s very eye opening. 

This revelation sends her on a journey of discovery and self-care. She starts eating regularly, figuring out what she likes and doesn’t like in all aspects of her life. It’s like rediscovering the world around her. Unfortunately, along with the good comes the bad. Finally seeing how truly horrible she was treated by her supposed family and the damage it caused is a whiplash of trauma. Talking about things helps her in ways she never imagined. It’s the deep seated wounds to her psyche, all of the things she lost or missed out on that are harder to reconcile. 

The past few weeks have been full of introspection and realization. She’s starting to understand more and more, the little girl inside her hasn’t healed. That little girl wasn’t allowed to exist so she never got to grow and learn. At first it was a hard pill to swallow for the last Luthor, now she is trying to figure out what to do about it. Can she do anything? Is it too late?

These questions consume her thoughts most evenings and she knows Kara has noticed. It’s a random Tuesday when the hero finally asks.

Kara can tell there is something weighing on Lena’s mind. They’ve just finished a late dinner, both having worked later than usual. Plates, flatware, and glasses still strewn on the coffee table and one of their guilty pleasure shows streaming in the background. The blonde doesn’t want to pry, but she knows Lena has a propensity to compartmentalize and stifle her emotions so she tries to gently push her friend to open up.

Kara sighs internally. Calling the woman next to her friend, even in her head, doesn’t feel right. Lena is her friend, the best even, but it’s always been more. It has been for a long time. She knows it and she’s pretty sure her sister knows, too. Now though, it’s getting harder and harder to keep it at bay. They’re living together. Sleeping in the same bed. Not just that, they are always wrapped around each other in bed. She’s never had a friend like that. Not in all of her Earth years. So yeah, it’s getting harder to keep her feelings tamped down. 

But, that’s for another day, right now she needs to focus on her best friend.  

“Penny for your thoughts?” Kara slides closer to the woman and softly pats the jogger clad thigh now pressed against her own. “You barely ate your dinner and it was your favorite. Plus, you’ve been essentially staring through the TV all evening. Are you okay?”

The gentle voice jars Lena from her thoughts, her viridian eyes settle on her best friend’s concerned sapphire ones. She shifts her eyes away and runs her fingers through her ebony locks before releasing a defeated sigh. “I just…I don’t know how to explain it. When I started therapy, it was on the premise of processing my grief. It has turned into so much more.” Another sigh escapes her lips as she turns toward the blonde. “Going to therapy, actually talking about the things I experienced in that house growing up, it’s making me realize how traumatic my childhood really was.”

A humorless laugh floats into the space between them, Lena shakes her head and drops her chin in disbelief at admitting that out loud. “The Luthors didn’t show or allow emotion. I entered the manor as a scared, grieving four year old.” She can feel her lip quiver and tears sting her already tired eyes. This time, instead of holding them back, she lets them fall freely. “In a lot of ways, Kara, I am still that scared, grieving little girl and I’m not sure what to do about it. Or if I can do anything about it.”

Kara’s heart breaks. She’s always known Lena didn’t live a happy childhood, that her best friend was starved for the love and support Kara herself had in droves. Lena was never allowed to feel or express normal human emotions. The stoic woman was never given the space to explore childhood and experience the joys of true freedom before adulthood settled in. She was always suppressed under the thumb of the Luthor moniker, forced to endure the strict regime of elite classes and standards that would make grown men falter. It’s something Kara wishes she could fix. 

Warm, strong arms wrap around her shoulders. Lena leans into her best friend’s chest and breathes in the familiar scent that has come to mean safety and shelter. Her Kara. Always Kara. The blonde smiles and pulls the smaller woman closer, placing a soft kiss to her forehead and pressing her cheek against silky, raven locks.

“I’m so proud of you, Lena.” She runs her left hand up and down the exposed skin of Lena’s arm, the sleeve of her faded Star Wars t-shirt leaving most of the pale skin on display. A soft hum escapes the woman’s pouty lips, eliciting a smile from Kara. “You have avoided a lot of self-care because Lionel and Lillian made you believe it was a weakness. You steered clear of therapy because Lex made you believe it was for people who were of lesser intelligence. Deep down, you’ve always known it wasn’t true, but you knew if any of them found out, they would use it against you in every way possible.”

“You’re so strong, Lena. Even in the face of such adversity, you are a kind-hearted, beautiful soul.” Another soft squeeze of reassurance. “You’ve always been the best Luthor. You always will be.” 

They sit in the comfortable, but heavy silence for a few moments. Neither of them make a move to pull away from the other. Kara breaks the silence, finding this is a perfect time to ask some questions she’s been curious about for years and move the conversation in a new direction. She also has an ulterior motive. The blonde wants her best friend to experience all the things she was starved of as a kid. She just needs to know some of those things Lena missed out on and this might be the chance she’s been looking for.

“Over the years, you’ve mentioned never watching movies or playing board games like most of us did. Are there other things you were deprived of as a child?” Kara lightly squeezes her closer before continuing to caress the pale skin of the arm now wrapped around her waist. “Toys you wish you had or places you wish you could have gone? What are some things Lena Luthor wanted as a child and teen?”

A soft chuckle passes across Lena’s lips, the warm breath ghosting against Kara’s neck and causing a shiver the blonde hopes goes unnoticed. The CEO hums. “You’ve helped with the movies and board games. I am sure there are more of both I still need to experience, but you’ve checked off most of them.” Her mind drifts back to the first months at Luthor Manor, recalling how many times she asked to play outside or go to the playground only to be scoffed at or reprimanded. Thoughts of the stuffed bear her mother gave her the Christmas before she died and how Lillian took it from her two days after she arrived. 

Kara patiently waits for an answer, fully aware of how often Lena can get lost trying to navigate the treacherous memories of her childhood. She knows how full of landmines those moments can be for her best friend. So, she pulls the woman closer to place a soft kiss on the crown of her head. Her patience pays off when Lena continues.

“I never got to play on the playground, being outside was frowned upon. Dirt was for heathens and unbecoming of a Luthor.” She rolls her eyes. “I think I stopped asking to go outside to play when I was six. It could have been sooner. I had to grow up so quickly. Shedding tears would elicit the wrath of Lillian. Lionel was never really around so I learned early on I needed to hide things from Lillian.” Lena clears her throat, not wanting to dwell too long on that train of thought. 

“There was this teddy bear I had, it was the only thing I brought with me to Luthor Manor. Her name was Miss Pizzley. I got her for Christmas from my mother.” She smiles thinking about Miss Pizzley and how much she loved that bear. “It was the last thing I got from my mother and Lillian took it from me. I wish I still had her.” She lets out a long sigh, nuzzling further into Kara’s neck. 

“Outside of the teddy bear, there weren’t many things I asked for. I knew better.” She chuckles, leaning back to look up at her best friend.

“I asked for three things from the time I arrived at Luthor Manor until they sent me off to boarding school.” She shook her head, briefly closing her eyes in recollection of the memory before gazing back at her hero. “For Christmas when I was five, I asked for a Princess Leia figurine and a Furby. The only two things I asked for and I got neither. Instead, I got piano lessons and a chess set.” She rolls her eyes as she remembers that Christmas.

Kara watches her carefully, tilting her head in awe of this amazing woman. Still so incredibly kind and caring, even after the abuse and neglect she suffered. “Wow. I can’t imagine. My holidays with the Danvers were so different. Oh, you said three things. What was the third thing?” She pulls the CEO back into her arms and they settle against the backrest of the couch. 

Lena hums against the soft tan skin of Kara’s neck, a warmth and security that has quickly become her favorite place. Cuddled on the couch with the woman she’s been unequivocally and irrefutably in love with for years. At this moment, there is nowhere else she’d rather be. 

“The third thing came much later. It was the last Christmas I spent at Luthor Manor before they shipped me off to boarding school. I asked for an iPod. I wanted a way to listen to music in the dorm without disturbing others. Instead, I was allowed to enroll in fencing classes at my new school.” She rolls her eyes, thinking of the smug look on Lillian’s face that Christmas when Lena unwrapped the “gift” she was handed. The look is forever etched into her mind. The box contained her updated schedule for Mount St. Helena. Instead of the robotics class she had chosen and enrolled in, fencing sat in its place. 

“Meanwhile, Lex was being showered with gifts. The first edition of the Motorola Razr cell phone, a brand new Rolex, and a top of the line Porsche 911.” Lena scoffs. The disparity between the two of them had never been as evident as it was that Christmas. “As much as I hated the idea of going to boarding school, at least I knew I wouldn’t have to deal with seeing Lillian and worrying about Lionel’s drunken tirades. At that point, I still adored and idolized Lex. Plus, he was still a decent big brother. In fact, he gifted me the iPod I asked for when he dropped me off at the boarding school. Our parents couldn’t be bothered with taking me so he did.”  

Silence engulfs them. Kara is mulling over the information she learned and Lena is immersed in a swirl of painful recollections. Strong arms are still wrapped around the youngest Luthor. Neither of them speak for several minutes, both lost in the haunting memories of a little girl lost. 

They don’t talk much after that. Kara’s mind is devising a plan to give Lena the things she missed out on as a kid. It’s something she’s given a lot of thought to since the woman first opened up to her. Lena is still swimming in the memories of the Luthors ghosts and a past she’s still trying to reconcile. It isn’t until a few months later that the subject comes up again.

Chapter Text

Lena is sitting on the end of the couch, glasses perched on her nose, legs tucked under her, and a book open on her lap. Kara stares from her end of the couch, her own book long since closed and resting next to her. Blue eyes rove over the figure sitting opposite her, drinking in the casual serenity Lena exudes. She must stare longer than she realizes. When her eyes make it back to Lena’s face, there is a knowing smirk and green eyes sparkling with mirth waiting for her.

“Like what you see, Miss Danvers?” A raspy laugh escapes Lena’s lips before she closes her book and removes her glasses. “Care to share with the rest of the class or would you like to continue your shameless staring?”

Kara can feel her face burning with the embarrassment of being caught. She definitely stares at Lena a lot, but she’s never been so blatantly called out like this. Not by Lena herself, at least not since they’ve been living together. 

She clears her throat and clumsily rubs the back of her neck. “I was just trying to imagine what you were like as a teenager. I mean, I know you were in boarding school, but you don’t really talk about it much. Were you rebellious, quiet, studious? What was Lena Luthor like as a teen?”

The patented Luthor eyebrow raise greets Kara in response. Lena shifts from her position so she’s facing the blonde. “Curious, are we?” She taps her chin in feigned contemplation. “I’d say I was all three. Studious all the time, quiet to those who didn’t know me, and rebellious after I met Andrea. It was the first time I was away from home, the first time I felt like I could breathe a little. Of course, Lillian had her spies, but I could get away with a lot more out from under her watchful eye.”

“Oh, now I am definitely curious!” Kara says, a smile spreading across her face as she watches her best friend smirk, eyebrow raised again. “I figured you were quiet and studious, but it was 50/50 on whether you were rebellious. The Lena I know now would absolutely be rebellious, the teenage Lena is a mystery to me.”

A deep, unrestrained laugh rockets out of Lena’s throat making Kara join her. When the laughter dies down, she takes a deep breath to respond. “You just know the conditioned, no holds barred CEO version of me that takes risks and refuses to take shit from crotchety old white men. Teenage me was a different kind of rebellious.” 

A devious grin makes its way across her lips and she winks at the blonde. “I met Andrea my first semester. She’s a couple of years older than me, but we were in the same grade. She kind of took me under her wing for the first couple of years since I was only eleven when we met.” Another devilish smirk spreads across Lena’s face. “The rebellion was little things at first. Stealing food from the cafeteria for snacking during study hours, nothing that would get us into too much trouble. The real rebellious stuff started when I was fifteen.”

Lena pauses, tilting her head in thought, as if remembering something. She takes a deliberate sip of the water bottle Kara hadn’t realized was next to her and shakes her head. “Hmm, yes, it was when I was fifteen. Andrea talked me into sneaking off campus one Saturday night. We went to a high end whiskey bar. I’d never had a single sip of alcohol in my life and Andrea takes me to a whiskey bar.” She chuckles, remembering the grimace and taste of the liquor. “Not going to lie, the first sip of Van Horne was awful. It burned going down and I couldn’t describe what it tasted like, but…it was the first time in my life I felt like a person. It was a choice I made and no one was there to tell me how much of a disappointment I was or what a poor reflection I was on the Luthor name.”

Kara watches as Lena’s eyes go unfocused and her fingers fidget with the label on the water bottle. It’s a sign the blonde recognizes. The tell-tale sign Lena is lost in a memory or realizing something from her past wasn’t really what she thought. She’s been having more moments like this recently, moments of realization. It worries the superhero. She’s noticed her best friend’s eyes aren’t as bright as they used to be, her smile doesn’t reach her eyes as often as it once did.

The dark haired woman clears her throat and continues. “After that night at the bar, we snuck out quite a bit. It was a regular thing, not every weekend, but pretty regularly. Most of the time it was just the two of us, but occasionally a couple of the other girls would come along.” A light blush makes its way up Lena’s neck and onto her pale cheeks. “Andrea helped me realize and understand a lot of things. About myself and the world around me. She was the catalyst for a lot of experimentation in high school and college.” 

The blonde’s brows rocket up her forehead, a whole new series of questions forming in her mind. She does her best to bite her tongue and save those questions for later, but she isn’t sure how successful she will be. Fortunately, Lena saves her from herself when she keeps talking.

“Andrea was my first kiss.” She chuckles, shaking her head and seemingly getting lost in another memory. “She was all of my firsts. We were always better as friends, but she was definitely the awakening of my sexuality. Certainly the reason I knew so early in my life that I was bisexual. I don’t think I would have realized until much later on and that definitely would have changed my college experience.” A huff of soft laughter follows the last sentence as Lena opens the water bottle to take another drink.

Suddenly, Kara needs her own bottle of water. She tries to casually stand to grab some water from the kitchen. Instead, she bolts up from her seat and promptly trips over her shoes and falls flat on her face next to the coffee table. Fortunately, she doesn’t land on the table, but that doesn’t make it any less humiliating or mentally painful. Her plan is to simply lay there and promptly pass away from her embarrassment, but Lena appears by her side. Her hand gently rubs the back of the blonde’s head and her voice is tinged with concern.

“Kara, are you okay? What happened, Darling?” Lena says, her smooth sultry voice close enough to Kara’s ear to feel the warmth of her breath. “Come on, let’s get you off the floor.” Lena stands and offers her hand to the prone Kryptonian.

The hero rolls onto her back and huffs out a breath before opening her eyes and taking the outstretched hand. A mumbled “thanks” is all she can muster as she gets to her feet. Lena tugs on her hand when the blonde attempts to walk toward the kitchen to get the bottle of water she needs more now than before. 

“Hey. You didn’t answer, are you okay?” The raven haired CEO tilts her head in question, her pale slender fingers gently caressing Kara’s arm causing a ripple of electricity to shoot across her skin. The sensation causes her need for distance to sky-rocket. Lena senses it because she lets go and takes a step backward to the couch. “You don’t really seem okay, Kara, but you also don’t appear to have the words to tell me so I am going to give you space. I’ll be on the couch if you need me.” 

Green eyes comb over the still embarrassed alien before she gives a single nod and walks back to her place on the couch. Curious eyes continue to watch Kara move around the kitchen until they are both back on the couch again. There’s a slight tension between them before the hero asks another question. 

“You graduated high school when you were sixteen, right?” Kara asks, not sure what she wants to know. “That’s when you went on to M.I.T. and met Jack? Did Andrea go to M.I.T. as well?”

“Mmm, yeah. I started M.I.T. at sixteen. I didn’t meet Jack until two years later, well, not officially. We knew of each other because we were in the same program and shared some classes, but didn’t officially meet until we were lab partners our junior year.” Lena smiles, the same familiar sadness settling in moss green eyes. “Andrea wasn’t at M.I.T. with us, but she was closeby. She went to Harvard, which was a few miles away so we were roommates. In a lot of ways, it was just a continuation of our boarding school antics.”

She laughs at Kara’s slack-jawed stare, raising a brow at the blonde in unspoken curiosity. There is no telling what is going on in the inquisitive Kryptonian’s brain. Deciding to wait it out instead of asking, she sits back and sips her water with an amused smirk on her face.

“Umm, so, you and Andrea were college roommates, too? I guess I didn’t realize that. I knew you were roommates in boarding school, but not college as well.” Her eyebrows bunch together to form the classic crinkle and her head tilts while her brain whirs. “Did you and Andrea, um, date? I know you dated Jack, but we’ve never really talked about things like that outside of Jack and James.”

A soft laugh sounds beside her as Lena casually pulls her hair up in a messy bun. “Well, I don’t think I would call it dating. Not really. We were basically together when we weren’t dating other people. A situationship of convenience. Sex and companionship when we were single. It was safe and comfortable since we knew each other well.” Lena smiles as she watches her best friend process the information in real time, doing her best not to giggle at the process her face is going through. 

“Oh. So, um, is Andrea the only woman you’ve been with? I mean, I know about Jack and James, but you’ve never really talked about any girls, er, um, women.” The blonde fidgets with the throw pillow in her lap, accidentally pulling a thread loose. “Not that you have to talk to me about that stuff, I am j-just curious. I know you so well now, but there’s all these little things we’ve never shared.”

There’s a simple silence hanging between them, their eyes fixed on the other, Kara’s cheeks a soft pink, and her hands wringing. Lena watches her, letting the question simmer before a smirk appears. 

“No. Andrea isn’t the only woman I have been with. Most of them were passing flings, including Veronica Sinclair. Jack and James are really the only relationships with men I’ve had outside of my high school boyfriend, Taylor.” She takes another drink of her almost empty water bottle before grinning at Kara. “I definitely prefer women. I find men are mostly clueless when it comes to pleasing me.”

Next to her, Kara makes a sound she has never heard the hero make. It’s a cross between a whine and a cough, but also accompanies the obliteration of the throw pillow in her lap. Thus, they are now surrounded with stuffing and feathers. Lena can no longer contain her laughter and they break down into a fit of giggles. 

Chapter Text

And so it goes. They spend nights and weekends getting to know things about each other they haven’t shared in the previous 5 years of their friendship. Kara gets to know Lena in ways no one else does. Along the way, she collects all the little details that make the ebony haired goddess who she is. All of the little details make her fall more and more in love with the woman. Along the way, she makes note of the things Lena was deprived of as a kid and teen.

A plan starts to come together. Operation: Reclaim.

It’s Kara’s mission to reclaim the childhood her best friend didn’t experience. So, beginning on the first weekend in December, she takes action. 

“Hey, Lena. What are you up to this weekend? Do you have any plans for Saturday and Sunday?” She asks the CEO at breakfast on a Friday.

Lena tilts her head in curiosity, sitting her coffee back on the counter. “Nothing really. I was going to tinker with a few things at The Tower and work on some budget proposals for the foundation. Why?”

A blinding smile spreads across the hero’s face, a smile that makes Lena a little nervous because it usually indicates something she isn’t going to be able to say no to. Though, if she’s being honest with herself, she can’t really ever say no to the woman. 

“Well…I have somewhere I would like to take you. It’s a surprise.” Her excitement manifests in the rocking back and forth from heel to toe as she stands in front of Lena. “All you have to do is dress comfortably and be ready to go by 10:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.”

An apprehensive look appears on Lena’s face and she wrings her hands. She doesn’t do well with unknowns and Kara knows as much. Of course, she trusts her best friend and knows she wouldn’t do something to hurt her or make her uncomfortable, but that doesn’t change the way she feels. 

Kara notices and rounds the island to take the shorter woman's hands into her own. “Hey, hey. It’s okay. You trust me, right?” A warm hand lifts Lena’s chin so their eyes meet. A small nod puts Kara at ease. “Just trust me. Let me do something for you. You’re always doing things for me and the rest of our friends. You deserve to be loved, too. Let me, please.”

They share a smile and a hug before making their way to their jobs. She gets so busy throughout the day and doesn’t think about their plans again until just before bed that night. That’s when Kara reminds her to be ready by 10:00 in the morning. 

She didn't sleep well. No matter how much she trusts Kara, the idea of not knowing what she is walking into makes her uneasy. They both get through their morning routine early and end up leaving the apartment around 9:00 to get breakfast at Noonan’s.

“So, you’re still not going to tell me what we’re doing or where we’re going?” Lena asks for the umpteenth time since they woke up this morning. “Not even a hint? Come on, Kara! You know I don’t like surprises.” She crosses her arms and pouts, something the usually stoic woman wouldn’t dare be seen doing. 

Kara grins before stuffing a bite of pancakes into her mouth. Shaking her head, she points her fork at her best friend. “Nope. No hints, not telling. You have to be patient. It’s not far from here and we could both use some fresh air. Besides, you know I would never let anything hurt you and only want the best things for you!”

An exasperated sigh and one eye roll later, Lena gives up. She resigns herself to the fact she won’t get anything out of the adorable Kryptonian. They finish their breakfast with little conversation, only a few playful glares and friendly giggles exchanged. Once all the plates are cleared and Lena gets a cup of coffee to go, Kara stands and offers a hand to her. The mysterious outing begins.

They get lost in a conversation about a new initiative Lena has been working on when Kara suddenly brings them to a stop. She hadn’t noticed the blonde navigating them into a city park. When they pause, she notices Alex, Kelly, Esme, Brainy, and Nia all standing there with smiles on their faces. 

“Wh-What are you guys doing here?” Lena asks, a puzzled look on her face. “Kara?”

Kara just smiles at her and drags her over to the rest of the group. Instead of Kara explaining what’s happening, it’s Alex that speaks up. 

The redhead walks over to wrap her in a hug before stepping back to look her in the eyes. “We thought it would be fun to have a playdate with our friends. What better way to do that than at the playground?”

The group parts to show a giant playground. Swings, monkey bars, a merry-go-round, and all sorts of apparatus Lena can’t even begin to know the names for. Her confusion doesn’t lessen with Alex’s words. In fact, she’s even more confused. A playdate? On a playground? They’re all adults outside of Esme. She’s not sure what to say or do. Apparently, it shows because Kelly appears in front of her.

“You okay?” Warm brown eyes scan her face and soft hands hold her own. “We wanted to do something for you. Something we can all do together, something we all got to do as children, but maybe you didn’t. Want to play on the playground and run around like a kid with us?”

She’s stunned. It’s the last thing she expected when Kara asked her to be ready this morning. Instead of words coming from her mouth, it’s tears that leak from her eyes. Her friends, her found family, taking time out of their lives to have a playdate with her? These people, who by all accounts, shouldn’t care, are taking time to give her something she never had as a child. It pieces together something inside her soul she didn’t know was broken.

Twelve arms encircle her as voices whisper words of encouragement, of care. When she’s gathered herself enough to speak, she just simply smiles. Until Esme grabs her hand to drag her over to the swings with a big smile and a “Come on, Aunt Lena! We have to get the best swings.”

They spent the day at the park. Lena experiences everything on that playground. All of them, her family, laugh until they cry and create memories she will never forget. They even have a picnic near the pond in the middle of the park. For the first time since she was a tiny four year old, she feels like a kid. At the age of thirty, she played on a playground with her friends and the joy she feels is unlike anything she’s felt in a very long time.

Chapter Text

It becomes a routine after that. They all spend the weekend doing things like roller skating, ice skating, going to the movies, playing miniature golf, and other little things Lena never got to experience. They make memories and take pictures. Most importantly, they laugh. All of these outings are a gift to Lena. Each one ignites a light in her soul she never knew existed. Or at least only existed in her life before her mother died. 

The entire month of December is spent with her family making memories. Watching movies, drinking hot chocolate, making gingerbread houses. She even has her first ever picture with Santa. A feat that took Kara enlisting Esme to drag her to the mall. One Sunday, the whole gang showed up at Kara’s apartment, no – their – Kara and Lena’s, to put up and decorate a Christmas tree. She was given the privilege of putting the star on top of the tree. 

To say she’s made more memories and accomplished a record number of firsts this December is an understatement! It’s definitely something she will never forget and it’s the lightest, happiest feeling in the world. 

They all decided to have a family Christmas party at The Tower on Christmas Eve. After dinner is finished, everyone is gathered in what they’ve started calling the family space. The tree is sparkling with light and the atmosphere is exuding the spirit of family, a feeling of safety and belonging. 

J’onn stands, a big smile on his face. “Esme, you want to help me pass out the gifts?”

His sentence is barely out of his mouth before the little one is standing next to him with the first gift in hand. Everyone laughs at the childish exuberance, the contagious feeling bathing everyone in warmth. 

Once all the gifts are passed around, Lena insists on everyone else going first. She refuses to open anything until all the other gifts are opened. It’s typical of the youngest Luthor, putting everyone else first. 

“Okay, Luthor, your turn.” Alex grins, cheeks rosy from the eggnog. “Open your gifts. It’s only fair, everyone else is done.”

After an epic eye roll, Lena carefully unwraps her first gift from J’onn. It’s a picture of the whole family standing in front of the Christmas tree, taken several weeks prior when she once again put the star on top. Next is a hand-painted gift from the Danvers-Olsens. From Nia and Brainy, she gets a holographic scrapbook of all the little weekend excursions over the past month. By the time she is down to Kara’s gift, she’s already in tears.

Kara looks a little nervous and that makes Lena nervous. The adorable, crooked grin convinces her to just open it and get it over with. “Why are you so twitchy, Supergirl? Did you get me coal and poison ivy? Is something going to jump out at me?”

“What?! No! Lena, I wouldn’t do that, that’s mean.” Kara scoffs, incredulous her best friend would even think that. When everyone starts snickering, she realizes Lena was kidding. “Oh. Ha ha. Very funny. Just open it, woman!”

Once the giggles die down, she carefully opens the last gift on her lap. When the lid comes off the box, her eyes go wide. Her already teary eyes spill over as she looks up at the fidgety hero. They share a watery smile before Lena pulls the items from the box.

Nestled among the tissue paper are a grey and white Furby and a limited edition Princess Leia collectible figurine. The exact items she asked for as a kid and never got. Of course Kara would remember and go out of her way to make it happen. Of course she would. 

She puts the gift aside, jumps up, and throws her arms around the hero. Her hero. The bottled up sobs that have been hovering below the surface finally break free as warm, strong arms wrap around her. Once she finally collects herself and explains her little breakdown to the rest of the group, things resume and the night ends with watching The Christmas Story movie before everyone makes their way home. 

As soon as they get back to their apartment, Lena puts her new gifts in places around the apartment where they can be seen and shared. The two of them don’t talk much, each quietly going through their nightly routine. When they settle in bed for the evening, Lena breaks the silence.

“This has been the best Christmas I’ve ever had. I’ve never felt more safe, cared for, and loved in all of my life.” She wipes away a stray tear and snuggles closer to Kara. “Thank you for everything you did this month to give me so many of the things I missed out on. It means so much to me, Kara.”

“You deserve it, Lena. I hope every year going forward is full of more things you missed out on and more of the things you love. You’re worth it.” She smiles and places a soft kiss on Lena’s forehead. 

Her eyes close and her heart starts beating faster. There’s one more thing she wants to give Lena before they go to sleep. It feels like the right time, but Rao, she’s scared. “Um, Lena?”

Green eyes look over at her, filled with pure affection. “Yeah?”

“I have one more thing I wanted to give you for Christmas.” She swallows hard, scooting closer so their eyes are even and meet across their pillows. 

“Kara, you’ve already given me far too much. You needn’t give me anything else.” A pale hand snakes its way up to rest on Kara’s warm cheek. “Your friendship and care are more than I could ever hope for, Darling.”

The hero takes a deep breath. Wrapping her hand around Lena’s wrist, she lifts it away and places it on her chest, just above her heart. “Do you feel that? It beats for you, Lena. It’s been yours for years, but now? Now I’d like to offer it to you. Out loud, if you want it. Because…because I love you. I think I’ve always loved you and I want to make every day a day of firsts for you. For us. If you–”

Her words are interrupted by the softest lips she’s ever felt pressing against hers. Her heart beats even faster, but now another one joins the race alongside her. Two big smiles interrupt their first kiss and they both giggle like little girls at a slumber party. 

“In case it wasn’t clear, I love you, too. I’m pretty sure I’ve always loved you and yes to all of the firsts. Just yes, Kara.” She presses her forehead against her hero’s and smiles. 

This is by far, the best Christmas she’s ever had. She’s happy, so incredibly happy. And for the first time in her life, so is the little girl inside.