Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

There weren’t many amazons left. That, Haruka supposed, was part of what had made this search so easy. Even so, it had taken nearly a year for him to track his target to a precise location. What a stench, he thought, wrinkling his nose. The shelter was little more than a collection of scrap wood and discarded tarps heaped up against the concrete support of the bridge Haruka stood under. It could pass for a pile of trash, and to the human inhabitants of this town that was likely all it was. They avoided it, and had learned to keep their pets indoors at night after several dogs and cats had gone missing. The small bones scattered on the gravel crunched beneath Haruka’s boots as he approached the hovel. He sensed an amazon, but could smell little aside from the stink of rotting meat. Did he die in there? Haruka hoped that wasn’t the case, as the effects of lysogenic amazon cells seeping into groundwater had been well-documented, and who knew what might arise if an animal ate some?

“Hello? Chihiro?” Haruka peeked through what seemed to be the den’s entrance. A snarl issued from the shadowy interior before a ragged shape leapt at him. “This is going to be easier than I thought.” The boy was clearly starving, and there was no recognition in his eyes. Wild though he was, Chihiro’s attack was as weak as a child’s. He gnawed at Haruka’s arm but couldn’t break the skin. “Okay, that’s enough.” Haruka grasped Chihiro’s thin body and hauled him onto his shoulder. The amazon struggled feebly before falling still, his mind in its animalistic state deeming it a waste of energy to try and escape. “You’ll be alright,” Haruka murmured. “You aren’t alone anymore.” A soft growl was Chihiro’s only response. Haruka carried him from the stony riverbed over the long grass of the embankment and up to a van that awaited. He knocked at the rear door and it swung open after a moment.

“That was fast.” Mizuki’s comment lacked any particular emotional charge but she couldn’t keep a frown off her face at the sight of the emaciated youth Haruka held.

“He’s in pretty rough shape,” Haruka said, nodding. He set Chihiro down gently on the van’s floor and climbed in. “You probably shouldn’t get too close though, just in case.” Mizuki nodded and hopped out, allowing Haruka to close the door. Chihiro sat on the bare metal floor, eyes peering blankly from beneath his long, matted hair. If he remembered the van he didn’t show it. Haruka reached toward his face and Chihiro snapped at his fingers. “Alright, you don’t want to be touched. You’re going to have to put up with it a bit later.” The boy didn’t respond, and Haruka sighed.

“All ready back there?” Mizuki asked from the driver’s seat. Haruka moved to the rear seat closest to the passenger’s seat.

“As we’ll ever be.” From here he could see both his half-sister and Chihiro. “Let’s go.”

“Here we are. Home sweet home.” Haruka knew Mizuki’s statement was meant to be a joke. The large traditional house in the remote woodlands had never been a home to either of them, though it was legally Mizuki’s now. Haruka himself had only just moved in a few weeks ago, and had hardly spent more than a night within the expansive building’s walls. Mizuki parked and turned to look at Haruka. “Are you sure you want to be alone with him?” Haruka glanced over at Chihiro, who sat near the rear of the van, clinging to a seatbelt strap he’d clearly forgotten how to fasten.

“He can’t harm me right now even if he tries.” He looked back at Mizuki. “And if his lysogenic cells activated you would be the one in the most danger.” She sighed.

“You’re right. But don’t take too many chances, okay?” Haruka smiled.

“Come on, it’s me.” Mizuki didn’t look convinced, but gestured for him to get going.

Haruka ushered Chihiro out of the van and towards the house, then stood and waved to Mizuki as she turned the vehicle around and drove off. He kept a firm hold on the younger amazon, who watched the surrounding woods with interest. Once the van was out of sight, he led him to the door and brought him inside, locking it behind them. The mansion was dark and labyrinthine, even with half of the rooms closed off. Chihiro became slightly agitated but still did not resist as Haruka continued to lead him around. Eventually they came to the small corner of the house Haruka had started to live in. He flipped on the light as they entered the kitchen and finally let go of Chihiro’s hand.

“Here.” From the fridge he pulled a small container with two hard-boiled eggs, already peeled. “You can eat these.” Chihiro sniffed, unconvinced of the eggs’ edibility. Haruka shrugged. “I know, they aren’t meat and they’re cooked. They might not taste great but you can metabolize them just fine.” Hesitantly Chihiro picked one up and bit into it, chewing only a little before his eyebrows lifted and he finished it off quickly, scarfing the second one down just as fast. He then stared expectantly at Haruka. “No more for now. I’m sure you’re very hungry but you need to take it slow while you readjust.” Chihiro’s frown deepened. “Starting to remember me?” Haruka’s tone remained light. “You’ll have even more reason to frown soon, don’t worry.”

Chihiro was biting Haruka’s arm again, harder this time. He’d stopped squirming about halfway through but Haruka still didn’t think letting go would be a good idea.

“I’m almost done here,” he told Chihiro, who only growled. “It’s hard to do this with one hand so if it looks bad that’s your fault.” The boy was getting a haircut, something that Haruka hadn’t realized could be this difficult. Weak as he was, Chihiro was still quite capable of wriggling out of all but the most secure hold. This, combined with a lack of equipment besides scissors meant the younger amazon was left with an unflatteringly short and still somewhat uneven cut. Haruka sighed. “Let go of my arm, please.” He released Chihiro from his grip and the boy fled to a corner of the room. The series of small punctures his teeth had left closed up before Haruka’s eyes. “You kind of have a big forehead, huh.” Chihiro snarled at him. He seemed to remember that they had been enemies, though only time would tell if he begrudged Haruka for the reason he expected. Who am I kidding, of course he hates me for killing Iyu. Even if the sigma-type had been dead before Chihiro ever met her, his attachment to her was why everything had gone the way it had. “Okay, you’re taking a bath now.”

“So you don’t mind this, but the haircut was too scary?” Somehow it was very easy for Haruka to talk to the non-verbal boy, as if he was a large and unruly pet. It had been very difficult to get him out of the soiled rags he’d been wearing, but as soon as Haruka ran the warm water over him Chihiro had become docile. He even washed his own body once he was given the soap, saving Haruka some awkwardness. Now he sat still as Haruka rinsed the last of the shampoo from his hair, as if his earlier violence had been an act. “You understand me, right?” he asked, turning the water off. Chihiro looked at him, brown eyes bright but revealing nothing. “You know I’m trying to help you?” No answer. It might have been too much to ask of a malnourished amazon, as much of his higher brain function would be simply turned off for lack of energy. Unclothed, Chihiro’s body was all angles, skin over bones. He had resisted eating humans even in the face of starvation. He wasn’t the ravenous beast they’d taken him for, but he still posed a risk to humanity simply by living near them. “I won’t pressure you to talk, but I will ask that you not bite me if you can avoid it. Sound okay?” Chihiro looked away, offering no sign of comprehension. Haruka sighed again.

Once again, the two amazons headed for the kitchen, Chihiro now clean and dry, dressed in an old set of indigo samue pulled from a closet. Haruka watched him a little warily as he took a seat at the table, clearly in a more stable state of mind than before. Chihiro’s expression was like that of a pet expecting a meal, anticipatory. Haruka pulled out the plate he’d prepared earlier.

“Here.” He set it down in front of Chihiro. “It’s probably not as fresh as you’re used to, but it’s raw, and organic too.” While Haruka was no stranger to raw meat, a whole chicken from the grocery store as a meal still seemed odd to him. Chihiro wasn’t able to eat much aside from raw flesh however, and Haruka hadn’t had the time to hunt. None of this bothered the younger man, as he tore into the chicken and had stripped half of it to bones before seemingly pausing to breathe. He once again eyed Haruka, who had seated himself in the chair opposite him.

“Why...” Chihiro spoke the word hesitantly but clearly. “Why would you help me?” Haruka’s eyebrows rose. This kid doesn’t mess around.

“I regretted leaving you alone. There’s hardly anyone left who even knows you exist, and letting you run away was irresponsible.” Sparing Chihiro’s life had been a gamble, and Haruka no longer wanted to play the odds. Chihiro’s eyes were narrow and dark.

“You killed Iyu. Why not let me die too?” Returned to lucidity, the boy had remembered his sorrow. Haruka sighed.

“She was in agony, and needed to be put to rest. But your life has hardly started.” Chihiro didn’t look so sure. “You’re only six years old, and you spent half of that inside a 4C facility. Don’t you want to go places, do things?” Chihiro was quiet, still glaring.

“I want to kill you.” he finally said, voice barely above a growl.

“You’re welcome to try,” Haruka said. “I haven’t had a decent fight in almost a year.” He was smiling, and met Chihiro’s eyes. “You’d better finish that, you’ll need your strength if you want to kill me.” If this was how the boy could be kept alive, then so be it. It would take months for Chihiro to recover enough to pose a threat to Haruka, and longer still if he truly wanted to defeat him. That was plenty of time to fall in love with the world, and Haruka would do his utmost to show Chihiro that life was worthwhile. The boy finished the chicken off efficiently but kept his eyes on Haruka, more of a suspicious gaze than an angry one.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Chihiro’s question sounded genuine. Most likely he thought of amazons as nothing but man-eating monsters.

“I’m not hungry. I’ll eat tomorrow, when I go hunting.” The younger amazon only looked more confused. “It’s alright, I was just like you once. Us half-human types grow up fast, so we need a lot of calories before we mature.”

“You’re going to hunt? In the woods?” Haruka was still smiling.

“Sure.” What’s with this kid, does he remember anything he’s done in the past year? “You should have some familiarity with that, even if you haven’t done it lately.” Chihiro’s hand moved to his head, fingers running over the unaccustomed short hair.

“I don’t remember...” A grim look appeared on his face. “I was eating people’s dogs, I think?” He stared down at the floor.

“It’s a lot better than eating people. I really would have killed you for that.” Chihiro looked at Haruka, one eye glinting red.

“But I did eat...” he couldn’t finish the sentence.

“Your mother didn’t die then. She became an amazon, but she survived.” It still hurt to remember what had become of Nanaha.

“Huh? She was...” There were tears on Chihiro’s cheeks, and Haruka felt his own eyes grow wet.

“She became the origin point. Your parents died together, a year ago.” It was all we could do for them. No one had escaped the final battle without losses.

“What the hell,” Chihiro was crying but his rage made itself heard. “Why were we born if we were going to be killed for it?” His life had been utterly brutal, Haruka knew, worse than his own. It was no wonder he’d fallen in love with the unresisting Iyu, another victim simply caught up in the tide of tragedy.

“Jin and Nanaha loved each other. That’s why you were born. I won’t tell you that you have to be grateful, but you should know that you exist for the same reason as most humans do.” Chihiro said nothing, and Haruka took the opportunity to clear away the bones that were all that was left of his meal. “When you feel up to it, go choose a room. I’ll leave you be until morning.”

“What makes you think I’ll even stay with you?” As exhausted as he looked, Chihiro had an adolescent’s confrontational attitude. Haruka smiled at him from where he stood near the sink.

“Do you have anywhere else to go?” There was no clever retort that could change the answer to that question. “Look, I’m not saying that we have to be friends. You’re free to hate me and pick fights if you want. I could have killed you last year, but I wanted to give you a second chance. I’d prefer not to see any more of us die.” He’d said his piece. Haruka crossed the room and walked out.

Chihiro found what he thought must be the furthest room from Haruka’s cozily furnished part of the house, or at least the furthest that wasn’t locked. Empty though it was, it was clean and the linens stacked neatly in the closets weren’t dusty. Clearly it had been in use until recently. Chihiro had no desire to share a home, even one this comfortable, with the man who’d killed Iyu. But he really was without other options. He’d almost starved to death living on the run, his only memories of the past few months fragments of violent moments. It had been like a long nightmare, but so had his life before. Chihiro laid down atop the futon he’d put out, spent. At least I don’t want to eat people anymore, he thought. It was a cold comfort. His anger had energized him earlier but now he only felt weak. He smiled when I said I’d kill him. Well, I guess a guy who looks the way I do now managing to kill him is kinda a joke. But Haruka had seemed to welcome the challenge Chihiro might pose. What a weirdo, he thought drowsily, before falling into a deep sleep.

Chapter Text

It was bright when Chihiro woke up, his stomach demanding food. The room he’d chosen had a row of windows that looked out on a sun-dappled forest, green in late summer. Even in such warm weather, Chihiro felt chilled upon leaving his bed. But his belly growled and he got up, sleepily remembering the way back to the kitchen. He padded barefoot over the mansion’s gleaming floors, following a delicious smell.

“Well, good morning sleepyhead.” Haruka’s jovial tone prompted a growl from Chihiro, but as he set eyes on the older amazon he wondered if he was still dreaming. His hands and feet were covered in dark scales like those of his transformed shape and black spines protruded from his back and continued down a long reptilian tail. “You slept for almost thirty hours, you must be famished.” He turned toward Chihiro and seemed to realize how he looked. “I’m sorry, I was out in the heat for most of the morning, I never put my shirt back on.” That’s not what’s wrong here!

“What’s with the half-transformation?” Haruka looked at himself.

“Right. This is how I naturally look, actually.” His eyes were red, and as he spoke, sharp teeth were visible in his mouth. “It might happen to you, or it might not. I never saw Jin looking like this.” Chihiro shook his head.

“Okay, that’s fine...” He sat down, lacking energy despite his long sleep. Haruka smiled.

“Have some breakfast,” he said, and set down a plate with a huge stack of neatly sliced red meat on it before Chihiro. This was what smelled so mouth-watering.

“Wow...” It was fresh and bloody. Chihiro was long past feeling disgust at these kinds of things. “This is what you hunted?” He nodded as he handed over a pair of chopsticks.

“Fresh venison, from the woods outside. The hunter gets first pick of course, but you need it more than me.” Chihiro could just barely make out the scent of blood left on Haruka’s skin. This is way too weird. But he gave thanks and dug in anyway. The meat was decadent, almost too good. Haruka wandered off, and at some point returned with a shirt on. By then Chihiro was savouring the last piece. “It’s good, isn’t it?” Chihiro nodded, and Haruka handed him a napkin. “You’re a little bloody.” As Chihiro wiped blood from his lips, he pondered the strange feeling within him. Here, with only another amazon for company, his appetite was normal. Haruka walked around looking like a lizard man, and hunted deer in the wild like an animal. There was nothing scary or wrong about it.

“It really is amazing how good that tasted.” Chihiro was so used to flavourless protein mush he hadn’t considered how something else might taste. “I thought nothing would ever taste delicious to me except for...” He didn’t want to say it. Haruka only looked on him with concern.

“You’ve lost your taste for human flesh. Unlike other amazons you’re unable to digest food aside from meat, except eggs.” He smiled a little, as if remembering something funny. “I can eat other things, but I prefer meat. It’s best right from the animal, but you’re not in any shape for that yet.” Chihiro looked at him, remembering unbidden the times they’d fought. Haruka was taller and heavier than him, when they were both transformed and even more so now.

“I didn’t remember you being so... soft.” The other 4C members had occasionally made jabs at Haruka’s size, but Chihiro had been too busy fighting to think much of it. Haruka didn’t quite look offended.

“I’ve lost some muscle lately, it’s true. That’ll change now that I’m hunting for my meals again, and you’ve said you’d like to kill me, which should make for a good workout.” Something in his voice suggested he really did crave a fight, which seemed out of sync with his personality. “Once you’ve recovered a bit, feel free to attack me as you see fit.” His gentle ways were completely at odds with how vicious he was in combat. He’s not a bad person, but he killed Iyu. No matter how nice he seemed, Chihiro would keep his guard up around Haruka.

“Do you... like fighting a lot?” Haruka almost looked embarrassed at the question.

“Yes, I pretty well always have. I used to struggle with that when I was younger, but I’ve learned to accept it. Do you dislike it?” Chihiro wondered if he actually trembled or just felt that way as Haruka met his eyes.

“I’m afraid,” he admitted. “I feel so angry sometimes, and then I lose control. I hurt people without meaning to.” Haruka nodded.

“Your anger is justified, I would say. Everyone was determined to take away your safe place. I was too.” The way he admitted it made Chihiro’s lip curl into a snarl. Shameless! But even fury could hardly move him to attack now. Haruka still only sat there, watching. After a moment he seemed satisfied that Chihiro wasn’t making a move, and picked up the dishes just as he had before. He rinsed the blood off the plate and set it in the sink. “You should keep resting for a while longer. I’ll make sure there’s plenty of food, so eat whenever you’re hungry. I know you’ve probably gotten used to it, but don’t ignore your appetite. As amazons, we’re responsible for keeping ourselves fed so we don’t hunt humans.” Haruka dried off his clawed hands with a towel. He moved to walk out like he’d done before.

“Why do you care so much about me? If I’m so dangerous why not get rid of me?” Haruka stopped, looking over his shoulder.

“Didn’t I say I wanted to give you another chance?”

It was by far the most peaceful life Chihiro had experienced since his earliest childhood. There was nothing to do but sleep, eat, and take baths in the luxurious bathroom he had all to himself. He and Haruka kept very different schedules and might not see each other for days at a time, though both could sense when the other was nearby through that uncanny instinct they shared. When Haruka was away, meat was portioned neatly in the fridge for Chihiro’s convenience. Following the older man’s advice he ate often, and slowly but steadily felt his strength return. He explored the huge house, finding many empty rooms and few items of interest. There was a library containing mainly non-fiction books and science periodicals, a small greenhouse with no plants in it and a few rooms full of Showa-era junk. There were clothes in some of the closets, but only kimono, yukata and other Japanese-style garments. Chihiro became familiar with the more casual ones, but still often felt like he was wearing pyjamas. Haruka seemed to have his own business to take care of most of the time, and they rarely shared more than a few words. After a month or longer of this, Chihiro was once more healthy enough to begin feeling restless. The comfort of this new life put the injustices of his past into perspective. All we ever needed was a safe place, a source of food, nobody needed to be hurt. But nearly every amazon had been killed. Iyu... She could have shared in this peace with him, but she was gone. Haruka had known her in life, but still had chosen to destroy her. He’ll pay for that, and for the mistake of letting me in here with him. Chihiro’s anger burned hot again, though he knew his strength was still insufficient to dispatch the older amazon. He could neither overpower him nor catch him by surprise, but Chihiro did have something he’d never had before: time. He could take as much time as he needed, fight Haruka as many times as was necessary to learn how to beat him. Even if it took years, Chihiro would have his revenge, and be free of his past once and for all.

Haruka knew Chihiro was lying in wait for him, and expected the boy was aware of that. He must be feeling better, if he’s planning to make good on his threat.  Chihiro didn’t make a habit of spending time with Haruka, which made monitoring his recovery a little tough. He was a little older than Haruka had been when he’d hit his growth spurt, which could likely be attributed to his years of subsistence on 4C’s synthesized rations, but was likely in that phase now. Haruka paused in the middle of the hallway, wondering which of the sliding doors hid his adversary. He didn’t have long to wait for the answer as Chihiro opened the one on the left and threw himself onto Haruka, apparently intent on putting him in a headlock.

“You’re recovering well,” Haruka commented, stepping backward and pushing the boy off with one hand. “Consider leverage to knock me off-balance instead of a hold to start. Your strength isn’t up to it yet.” Chihiro sat on the floor where he’d landed, frowning up at Haruka.

“That was absolutely nothing to you, wasn’t it?” His choppy haircut had grown out a little, and combined with his still babyish face looked quite cute.

“It wasn’t the worst first attempt.” Haruka reached out a hand to him. Chihiro grabbed his arm firmly and pulled, but even with his full weight could only make Haruka stumble forward slightly. “You implemented that advice right away.” Now Chihiro looked more embarrassed than anything. He stood up with a quiet growl and threw a slow, sloppy punch. Haruka caught his fist and held it there. “I’m getting the sense that you’ve never fought in human form.”

“Huh?”

“You’re afraid of hurting yourself because your body isn’t as tough like this. Right?” Haruka wasn’t totally sure if his intuition was right, but he only wanted to keep Chihiro there to get a sense of how he was doing. He let Chihiro’s hand go.

“Not since I was a little kid. I’ve never really been attacked in human form.” Chihiro wouldn’t look in Haruka’s eyes, but a hint of red was visible in his all the same. His body chemistry is changing. Soon Chihiro would start to mature, and possibly develop the same semi-human form as himself.

“Don’t worry about it. Trust in yourself and your instincts. You’ll find you’re an amazon no matter how you look.” Chihiro didn’t seem pleased to hear that. “Neither of us have belts here, so we’ll only ever fight like this anyway,” Haruka added.

“You don’t have your belt?” Chihiro looked baffled.

“It’s being kept somewhere safe, along with yours and Jin’s.” Technology related to the development of amazons was either destroyed or put under lock and key following the takedown of 4C. Haruka had been more than willing to give up both the original and new Omega belts.

“You’re partly transformed anyway.” Chihiro clearly still wasn’t used to Haruka’s natural form.

“I’ll admit, when I first changed it did feel like I was getting further away from humanity. I’ve since realized that it’s not about looks. I’ll always be made of half human and half amazon DNA.” Haruka smiled a little. “And so will you.” As usual, Chihiro looked more miffed than anything at the reminder of his nature.

“You’re so relaxed about it,” he grumbled. Haruka only shrugged.

“There’s no cure for what we are. How are you feeling? You look a lot better.” Chihiro kept frowning.

“You’re so nice to me even though we’ve always been enemies.” This kid is really getting on my nerves, Haruka thought.

“And you’re a grumpy adolescent with a contrarian attitude. I’d rather not stay your enemy, so I’m kind to you.”

“I can’t ever be friends with the person who killed Iyu,” Chihiro retorted. It was not going to difficult to fight with him, it seemed.

“But you’ve got no problem with eating what I catch. Say, do you want to come fishing with me?” Haruka was not about to argue with the boy again.

“What?”

“Fishing. There’s a nice spot a little ways from here. It’s easier than hunting, and fish won’t be plentiful again until after winter. I wouldn’t mind another pair of hands to help stock up.” Chihiro seemed determined to find an ulterior motive in his words. “You just have to stand in the water and wait. I’ll teach you.” Chihiro’s expression softened at last.

“I’ve never eaten fish, actually,” he said quietly.

“Well, in that case you have to come.”

Chapter Text

It was a mild and slightly cloudy morning when Chihiro found himself following Haruka through the woods, on the way to the older man’s fishing spot. Clearly what counted as a short distance was different to Haruka than to Chihiro, as they had already been walking for forty minutes. I am still pretty weak, Chihiro thought glumly. The narrow dirt trail wasn’t easy to negotiate either, even following Haruka’s sure steps. The other amazon was altogether too pleased to be going fishing, Chihiro thought. He’d dressed like he was going to the beach, in knee-length shorts and a loose blue shirt Chihiro had a feeling would be taken off or at least unbuttoned very soon.

“We’re almost there!” He announced cheerily, and Chihiro suppressed a growl. The trail turned sloping and the trees parted to reveal a wide, stony-banked river. Haruka descended nimbly and Chihiro followed more carefully. In his strange half-human shape the older amazon was always barefoot, his scaly and clawed feet apparently quite tough. He crossed the bank and set down the two large plastic coolers they were meant to fill today. Haruka had explained to Chihiro on the way that this was part of a larger effort to gather enough meat for the winter.

“I can survive on just one meal every three days, but you, ” he had said, pointing one clawed finger at Chihiro. “You need several kilograms of meat every day just to maintain yourself. So, we’re filling the freezers.” It turned out that the mansion’s basement was equipped with several large freezers, now mostly empty. Haruka had shaken his head. “I wanted to give you more time to rest, but hunting for us both and getting extra to store is too much for me. You’re going to have to start working for your meals.” Chihiro didn’t relish the idea of hunting his food like a wild animal, but Haruka had assured him of such a lifestyle’s benefits. “I lived completely on my own in the woods while I was maturing. There’s no better training for your body and mind.” It was strange to think that the gentle Haruka had once been little better than Chihiro had been so recently, a hungry beast living off what he could catch. Now, as Chihiro stepped down onto the rocks, Haruka waved him over.

“I’m really not sure I can do this...” Chihiro mumbled. Haruka shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it. All you have to do is stand over there and not move, then when a big fish comes close, grab it.” He said it so seriously that it was impossible to laugh. I guess he really did live in the wild. “It will be easier than you think. Our brains are wired for this kind of thing.” Still not fully convinced, Chihiro waded out into the river. The water was cold and came up to his knees. He looked back at Haruka and the other man only gestured for him to move further away. “Stand in the shade. The fish like the shelter.” Chihiro obeyed, watching his pale feet through the water as he negotiated the stony river bottom. Haruka entered the water and moved to stand near the opposite bank. This was how they stayed for a length of time that felt interminable to Chihiro, but was probably less than half an hour. Occasionally Haruka would make a sudden move, but Chihiro couldn’t see if he’d caught any fish. His own stomach began to growl, and idly he wondered if he’d ever see his housemate eat. Knowing Haruka only had to eat every few days engendered a strange sort of envy in Chihiro, but maybe if they were as alike as Haruka seemed to think his own appetite would eventually be the same. As he was now, the hunger only made him feel emptiness in his stomach, rather than the weakness and predatory impulse that had plagued him between feedings at 4C. He’d never really felt satisfied by those packs of protein mush, but these days felt satiated for a few hours after a meal. Something was different, with the food or with himself. They do say you are what you eat, he thought. In the water near his feet, Chihiro’s eyes caught movement. A fish was there, silver-scaled and nearly thirty centimetres long. Remembering what little instruction he’d been given, Chihiro lunged at the fish as fast as he could. A regular animal hardly stood a chance against an amazon’s reflexes. Chihiro lifted the fish from the water and watched it writhe and gape for a moment before his hunger seized him and he bit into it. Before he knew what he was doing, Chihiro was licking the cool blood from his lips. The meat was too fresh and delicious to resist, and soon he was left with nothing but the bones.

“Oh.” Eating the fish had felt natural, but Chihiro shivered as he realized what he’d done. “I killed it, and ate it.” He became aware of Haruka watching him.

“They are tasty, but try not to do that again. We need to have enough food for the winter, remember?” Suddenly Haruka’s relaxed attitude toward the demands of living as a amazon made sense. He was already used to it, having killed his own meals more times than Chihiro even knew. “I packed us a lunch,” he said, pointed teeth glinting in the sun.

“Okay.”

The morning passed and the heat started to get uncomfortable. Chihiro caught three more fish, and managed not to eat any more even as the familiar feeling of hunger gnawed at him. At last Haruka decided it was lunch time.

“Oh come on,” Chihiro couldn’t help but say as the older amazon tossed nearly a dozen fish into the cooler.

“You’re doing just fine for a beginner,” he encouraged as Chihiro placed his own meagre catch atop the pile. “That’s about one meal for you right there.” His positivity was sort of annoying but clearly genuine, which made it hard to be angry. “Time to eat,” Haruka said, pulling more of the usual raw and bloody meat from the second cooler. This time there was a portion for himself as well.

“So, this gets you through a few days?” Chihiro asked, trying his best not to eat too fast. Haruka didn’t say anything at first, seeming almost lost in thought.

“I’m sure it seems strange to you now, but once you’ve matured a bit your metabolism should slow down a lot too. We also don’t need as much when we live peacefully like this.” He was seated very comfortably on the rocks, unbuttoned shirt revealing his brawny upper body. Haruka seemed as at home out here as he was in the house they shared. “I wish I had known all this years ago. I could have saved so many.” So he does feel remorse. It wasn’t as if Chihiro thought his host had been eagerly eliminating amazons with a smile on his face, but it was unexpected for him to express regret like this.

“You still killed them.” It was no more than a fact. Haruka looked at Chihiro with his typically inscrutable expression.

“We both did that. Don’t try to start another fight with me, please. It’s too hot out.” His thick tail moved restlessly behind him. It was green and armoured, patterned like his transformed shape had been.

“Does it hurt to grow a tail?” Chihiro asked impulsively.

“A little. It feels like a sore back at first, then the tail itself is tender for a while. The spines and scales are more itchy than anything.” Haruka looked almost nostalgic. “I used to sleep all the time back then. Hunt, eat, sleep and repeat.”

“Do you miss it?” It didn’t sound like a bad life to Chihiro.

“I don’t. Living outdoors seems fun until you realize there are no baths in the mountains.” Haruka shook his head. “I’m glad to have a roof to rest under.”

“Huh, I see.” The older man raised one eyebrow.

“If you want to try it, be my guest. Saves me the trouble of feeding you.” Chihiro remembered a scattering of experiences from his recent vagrancy and grimaced a little.

“I think I’ll pass.”

The remaining daylight hours passed by much as the morning had, and the two large coolers were slowly filled up with fish. The presence of so much fresh meat riled Chihiro’s appetite up to an uncomfortable degree, and it took all his concentration to carry it back to the house.

“I’ll take it from here,” Haruka told him as soon as he’d put the cooler down at the top of the stairs to the basement. “Your dinner is waiting in the fridge as usual. Thanks for all the help today.” His manners were always so perfect. “Let’s go out hunting together soon.” It’s like he really thinks we’re friends, Chihiro thought as he polished off his dinner. They were the same type of organism, but why should that mean anything when they’d both killed so many amazons? Was it because Haruka had known Jin? Chihiro rinsed his plate and chopsticks, watching the blood swirl into the drain. Why should I be different from any other amazon to him? He started walking back to his room, absentmindedly scratching the back of his left hand. Then he remembered what Haruka had said earlier and felt sick in the pit of his stomach.

“No.” Chihiro hurried to his room and stood under the light, examining his hand. There. A speck of blue, the same vibrant tone as his skin when transformed into Neo. His amazon nature was starting to show, even in his human shape. Chihiro shuddered, sitting down heavily on the floor. Would he become like Haruka, then? An exile from human society, with red eyes and spikes sticking out of his body? It’s no better than I deserve, Chihiro thought. He lay down and curled up, not even bothering to get into his futon.

Chapter Text

Chihiro stayed on the floor, and eventually passed from dissociation into dreams. They were strange ones, populated by the people he’d known at 4C, Haruka, Hiroki and even his father, stumbling blindly while calling out his name. Chihiro was pursued and pursuer, aggressor and victim in a shifting world where the only constant was Iyu, appearing as she had in life and always too far away for Chihiro to reach. At last he awoke, cold and gasping, and only felt a moment’s relief before catching sight of the spreading transformation of his hands and feet. What had been a single patch of blue now covered much of the skin of all four extremities, and pointed claws marked the end of each digit. Like Haruka had said, the pain was minor and the new scales mainly felt itchy. This did little to lessen Chihiro’s distress, and though he scratched, he couldn’t damage the scales and at last simply lay there. He was hungry, but that was nothing new; maybe he could just stay here and let himself starve.

“Yeah, right,” Chihiro muttered from dry lips. If he tried to do that, his instincts would just kick in like they had before. Chihiro sat up, shivering. The sight of his claws repelled him, but at least they were sharp. If he grew to be like Haruka in looks, his strength might well grow in kind. He could use this. Chihiro stood, and began on the familiar path back to the kitchen.

Another few days went by before Haruka saw Chihiro again. His senses had warned him that the boy was under the full effect of his growth spurt now, and likely awkward, uncomfortable and moody. In fact, he’d expected Chihiro’s hormonal whims to bring them into conflict earlier, but at last he’d sighted the youth in the hallway between rooms.

“Hey, Chihiro.” The boy glared at him and bared his teeth, already sharper than they’d been a week past. His low growl made Haruka want to respond in kind, but he stifled it. I should try to be the adult here. “It’s alright, I only want to check on you.” Chihiro’s eyes were as red as Haruka’s own, and filled with a vicious light.

“No, die.” Oh, so that’s how it’s going to be. Chihiro charged, and Haruka took on a defensive stance. The younger amazon was obviously moved only by a reckless impulse, striking wildly with new-grown claws and hardly touching Haruka. His anger lent him speed and power, but not enough to do damage.

“Not bad.” Haruka dodged around Chihiro’s attacks and struck back with a simple push to the center of the boy’s chest. He slid backward nearly a meter before falling, staying down only a moment before launching himself right back at Haruka. “Feeling a bit more tenacious today?” Chihiro snarled.

“Stop talking!” His slash narrowly missed Haruka’s throat. Haruka caught him, wrapping his arms around Chihiro’s shoulders and pivoting to throw him the opposite way now. Not giving him a chance to get up again, Haruka proceeded to where Chihiro fell and held him there, hands on the furious youth’s wrists. He growled and snapped, struggling in vain. Haruka allowed his own growl to be heard.

“You can’t fight me like that and expect to win. Instinct alone might have gotten you through fights with the half-starved amazons your buddies riled up, but against me it’s no good.” Chihiro stopped struggling.

“So what, you’ll teach me? Train me up so I can kill you?” His eyes were cold now, and uncomprehending. Haruka sighed.

“If there’s a chance you’ll become less annoying, it’s worth a shot.” He let Chihiro go and watched him scramble out of his reach. The boy wore a yukata today, the loose garment obscuring the shape of his growing body beneath. Haruka had felt the firm muscles of his still-lean chest, and the hard bumps under the skin of his wrists that would soon become sharp blades. Now that he was healthy, Chihiro was maturing into the apex predator he was. That’s what amazons are, after all. “You’re getting stronger already. How do you feel?” Chihiro met Haruka’s eyes for a second before looking away.

“Hungry. And pissed off.” That tracks, thought Haruka.

“That’s normal. Come hunt with me and you can channel that anger and fill your belly. How about it?” Chihiro seemed to consider it, then smirked.

“Thought I was annoying?”

“You definitely are,” Haruka confirmed. “But I wasn’t kidding about you having to work for your meals. You can’t expect to get strong enough to beat me if you can’t keep up with me on a hunt.” Chihiro frowned.

“I’m not an animal,” he said, standing up. “I’m not interested in being like you.” Haruka shrugged.

“I won’t force you.” If the boy wanted to be difficult, he’d get no satisfaction from Haruka. “But I had better not find you out there stealing my prey. I’m sure you know how hard it can be to resist your instincts.” For a moment, Chihiro’s face showed his fear, but then he glowered and stomped away.

Chapter Text

Back in his own room, Chihiro fought down his anger, the growl in his throat dying away at last.

“What’s with that guy?!” Who was Haruka to talk about instincts, he who could easily live on normal food, who’d never known the relentless craving for human flesh? He could even hide his amazon traits and live in the city, but he chose to act like a beast instead. He’s some kind of freak... Haruka may have been well-spoken, intelligent and even caring, but he was just an amazon. A bloodthirsty monster whose human face was only camouflage. But if he’s a monster, what does that make me? Chihiro laid down on the messy pile of blankets that passed for his bed these days. He was changing again. It had hardly taken any time at all for his fingers and toes to grow claws, and now the scales had spread almost up to his elbows and knees. He didn’t want to look, but the itching along his spine suggested they were growing there too. Chihiro grasped one of the blankets and pulled it over himself, gripping the fabric tightly. His stomach was empty again and he felt almost unbearably restless. Maybe this is what Haruka meant... Living passively and letting someone else care for him no longer felt good. He wanted to hunt for himself. Why was Haruka so intent on supervising him? He thinks I’m dangerous, that I might lose control. It made sense, really. Chihiro was a mutant after all, able to turn humans into amazons. That was why he’d isolated the two of them in this creepy old house in the woods. Chihiro clenched his fists until his claws dug into his palms, then threw off his blankets with a roar. He didn’t care what Haruka thought or what the consequences might be, he would go into the woods on his own. He stood up and headed for the nearest door to the outside, letting his pent-up energy drive him faster until he was nearly running toward the exit, stopping only to push the doors open before continuing out into the wilderness beyond the house.

Haruka paused at the door left open, looking out for a moment. The woods showed no sign of Chihiro’s recent flight, only the slightest hint of autumn’s colours tinting the leaves. Haruka inhaled deeply, savouring the scents in the air before closing the door. The boy would not stay out long. Not since Haruka himself had such an amazon existed, one so desperate to prove he was something other than what he’d been told he was. Haruka’s own maturation had only come after a lot of struggle, and Chihiro’s fight had been much worse. It was no wonder he fought his own nature this way, but the way he pushed Haruka away at every turn was doing him no favours. Haruka’s tail swung to and fro, betraying his concern over the younger boy, and he sighed. At this rate I’ll start getting grey hairs, he thought. His affection for Chihiro at this point surprised even himself, especially as he hadn’t exactly given Haruka much in return. He could tell himself that it was a lingering sense of loyalty to Nanaha, but the truth was much simpler; with Chihiro around Haruka wasn’t alone.

“I guess amazons are social animals after all,” he remarked to no one. He’d been friends with regular humans, of course. Since their mother’s death Haruka had taken extra care to be a good friend to Mizuki, and he kept up some contact with the surviving members of the Exterminators, but being among one’s own kind was just different. It was a shame so few amazons had been able to survive and form a community. Haruka had only managed to achieve self-acceptance by bonding with them, but Chihiro had never had anyone but Nanaha and Iyu. Everyone else was trying to kill him. It made sense that he didn’t trust Haruka, but it still felt lousy. He’d just have to keep letting the boy have his space, and watch over him from a distance. At last, he walked away from the door.

Chihiro was running through the woods, astonished by his own speed. He’d left the house at a run and just kept going, spurred on by a sudden desire to know what his limits really were. His claws tore at the ground as he ran, scenery rushing by so fast he hardly knew how far he’d gone. At the foot of the slope he’d been racing down Chihiro caught sight of a river, and wondered briefly if this was where he’d been fishing with Haruka. As he approached the water he launched himself into the air, clearing the river and even the tops of the trees on the opposite side before landing in the underbrush, out of breath. Despite this he laughed, a choked sound that shook his lean frame.

“I’m a hypocrite.” He delighted in his capabilities as an amazon while vilifying Haruka for the same behaviour. Chihiro lay there until his adrenaline rush faded and his hunger made itself known again with a rumble from his stomach. He sighed and sat up. Would it be so awful, he wondered, to sate his appetite on some birds or a deer? What could it hurt? Though Haruka had seemed at least mostly serious when warning him not to take any prey for himself, how would the older amazon even know? Instinctively Chihiro stayed still, listening for the telltale sound of an animal nearby. His wild sprint had disturbed them, but they would come out of hiding again soon. The air smelled of tree bark and river water. Eventually a rustling could be heard nearby and a bird appeared, some kind of ground-dwelling pheasant by the look of it. Chihiro watched it advance, pecking through the undergrowth. It wasn’t large, and had a roundish body shape that was sort of cute. That would not save it, as the scent of the bird’s living flesh was all too alluring and Chihiro found himself salivating. But he had to wait, he could not move until the creature was within his grasp. Wait, wait... The bird inched closer and closer, and at last came near enough. Chihiro lunged forth with claws extended, but froze as a powerful sense of fear came over him. No, I can’t! Acting like this, he was just asking to lose control again. The pheasant sprinted away, little wings flapping, and Chihiro roared. Even when he wanted to, he couldn’t break through the revulsion. He stood up slowly and made his way back toward the house, almost dizzy with the array of emotions he felt. I can’t be a human, but I can’t be an amazon... What was there for someone like him, in this world? Chihiro didn’t know, and didn’t particularly care to think about it.

Chapter Text

Haruka was seated in the kitchen when Chihiro got back, as if he’d known exactly what was on the boy’s mind. I guess he was like this before, too. The older amazon had even taken the liberty of preparing Chihiro’s dinner and setting his place at the table.

“How was your stroll?” he asked, with the same polite tone as always. Chihiro took a seat, unsure even of how to formulate an answer. The heap of meat before him was more interesting anyway.

“Isn’t this more than usual?” Haruka nodded.

“Your energy needs are peaking right now. You’ll probably want to sleep more too.” Chihiro scowled as he chewed.

“I’m tired of lying around.”

“So I noticed. Exercise is good of course.” Haruka paused. “You didn’t hunt today,” he remarked after a moment.

“You told me not to,” Chihiro said. What was he getting at?

“I didn’t say that because I actually care whether you take prey around here; I’d hoped you wouldn’t go alone because of your past.” A sort of jolt passed through Chihiro as he remembered freezing up earlier. But he stayed on guard.

“What would you know about it? You never ate anyone.” Haruka shook his head.

“No, not me.” His eyes seemed to be looking very far away. “But I know what that hunger can do to an amazon. You almost starved because of how hard you’ve tried to resist it.” Chihiro’s memory swirled with moments when he’d almost given in, tantalized by the smell of blood. He’d been told that his appetite was particularly fierce, but Haruka had more experience with amazons than even 4C’s researchers. “I don’t want you to face that fear alone, that’s all.” He was smiling, and Chihiro tentatively smiled back, all too aware of the sharp teeth beneath his lips. “Can’t have you out there re-traumatizing yourself.” A novel feeling of warmth sprung up beneath Chihiro’s sternum, not quite what he’d felt towards Iyu but similar somehow. He just wants me to be safe. The idea that harm to himself was as worth avoiding as harm to others was new to Chihiro.

“Thanks for your concern...” he said, avoiding Haruka’s eyes. His presence felt decidedly less aggravating and more comforting these days, which Chihiro guessed was a result of his acceptance of the older amazon, however begrudging. No matter what he’d done in the past, his intentions toward Chihiro now were only helpful. I don’t forgive him, he thought.

“I’m enforcing the hunting trip now. You’re going with me tomorrow whether you like it or not.” Haruka’s tone was almost paternal.

“But what if I can’t do it?” Haruka shrugged his shoulders.

“Then you can’t do it. Just means I’ll have to get you your meals, like I have been. But if you are successful, you can eat whatever you catch.” Even in the middle of a meal, the prospect of fresh-kill was very enticing. Chihiro licked his lips. He’d never really been independent in his life, always relying on someone else for food and housing, and it had begun to wear on him lately. If he could get his own meat, control himself enough to hunt without going wild, then maybe one day he could live among humans again.

“You’re on,” Chihiro said.

“Glad to hear it.” As much as it irked him, Chihiro knew he’d never make any progress by refusing all help. “Try to get some rest for now.”

The next day started early. Very early.

“It’s still dark out,” Chihiro complained. The sky was deep blue and the undergrowth the two amazons moved through was wet with morning dew.

“You can see fine, right?” Haruka was his usual unruffled self. The tapetum lucidum in his eyes glinted green as he glanced back at Chihiro. The youth did not growl, but bared his teeth.

“I can.” It wasn’t quite the same as his vision in daylight but it was just as clear. He had to keep his eyes on Haruka, as the older amazon moved with an unsettling lack of sound. He wasn’t walking fast, but stayed a few paces ahead. Even if Chihiro walked directly in his footprints, he still made more noise. This, paired with the discomfort in his back and an empty stomach, meant Chihiro’s mood was even worse than usual. It wasn’t as if he could go against Haruka; while he wouldn’t hurt him, it would be no trouble at all for him to knock Chihiro out. So the boy could only quietly follow, and try not to worry about whether he’d freeze up again. I’ll deal with it when the time comes, he’d told himself. At his core, he felt it was really no one’s problem but his own. Chihiro didn’t want help, but he was getting it.

“The key to this will be staying quiet and out of the animal’s sight. You and I may be faster and stronger than the deer, but chasing them expends time and energy. Ideally, we close in on our prey before it has a chance to run.” Haruka was explaining quietly as they walked.

“Will the deer try to fight if it can’t get away?” Chihiro couldn’t quite envision the situation.

“It will do whatever it can to try and survive,” Haruka looked at him over his shoulder. “Like any living thing.” Something in his eyes dispelled Chihiro’s impulse to make some cynical retort. What they were doing now was real. They advanced further into the woods and the sun rose, casting light that filtered down between the leaves in mottled patterns. Haruka didn’t seem to be heading in any particular direction so Chihiro focused on following him and time began to pass unheeded. At last Haruka stopped, dropping to one knee in the undergrowth. Chihiro did the same.

“Did you find something?” Haruka didn’t speak but gestured for Chihiro to stay quiet. His red eyes looked even brighter than usual. Slowly, he pointed ahead and Chihiro looked for what he was indicating. Deer, just visible between the trees, several metres away. There were only two that Chihiro could see, moving slowly and cautiously as they foraged. The breeze carried the animals’ scent on the air and he salivated, swallowing hastily. It was a very different smell from that of the pheasant he’d failed to catch, gamey and musky, and a part of Chihiro almost felt repulsed.

“I’ll head over there, and chase them back toward you,” Haruka whispered. “Try to grab one if it comes close, but don’t worry if you can’t. You just being there should slow a deer up enough for me to catch easily.” His tone was so neutral it was if they were discussing something normal, something that wasn’t hunting deer unarmed in the woods like animals. Chihiro nodded and at that, Haruka went. His progress through the taller undergrowth was difficult to track, and after a few moments Chihiro stopped trying and simply waited. He was awfully tense and his back itched, but he dared not move. Then the deer burst into motion, running and leaping right toward where Chihiro was. All feelings aside from the instinctual faded as he set eyes on them and focused entirely on the hunt. The prey was near, he had only to wait for the right moment. It was all an adrenalized blur after that, pouncing upon and tearing into the animal, the taste of blood in his mouth. Anxiety and fear had nothing on an amazon’s hunger. Chihiro didn’t fully become aware of himself until he’d eaten all he could and was too drowsy to move.

“Why am I so tired?” He asked this aloud, sensing that Haruka remained nearby.

“All animals want to sleep after eating a lot,” Haruka answered, though Chihiro didn’t see him yet. “And that includes humans and amazons.” He came into view with his face bloody, carrying his shirt under his arm. He sat down in the grass next to the somnolent Chihiro. “You can sleep. You’re safe.” Chihiro frowned.

“Weird. I actually believe you.”

“I’m grateful for that. You really have no reason to trust me, even now.” Chihiro supposed that was true, but he didn’t have the energy or will to think about it right now. He stretched out on the ground and let sleep take him.

Chapter Text

A whole day passed before Chihiro woke again. Haruka watched over him, making several trips back home to store the meat and get cleaned up. There was nothing in these woods that would go after an amazon, even one as deeply asleep as Chihiro was after his big meal. The boy seemed to be changing before Haruka’s eyes, the spines on his back and limbs already becoming visible. He couldn’t remember if his own growth had been so fast, though there had been times he’d awakened to find more scales on his skin than before. Haruka had spent most of his growth spurt alone in the wild, sleeping in the undergrowth while the blood of his prey dried on his skin. He might have liked to have someone by his side when he awoke, in those days. Someone who would assure him that the changes he was going through were normal and not to be feared. I did have somebody, just not right beside me when it was happening. Before finding him, Haruka had worried about Chihiro going through this alone, being scared.

“Turns out being a mentor isn’t that easy,” he said quietly, as his young charge slept on.

Chihiro awoke, still in the middle of the woods and still covered in blood, feeling better than he had in a long time.

“Good morning,” Haruka greeted him. It was as if the older amazon hadn’t moved from that spot, though he’d changed his clothes at some point. “You’ve been asleep for twenty-four hours.” Chihiro gaped.

“Actually?” No wonder he felt so rested. “But I’m hardly hungry at all.” Haruka looked amused.

“You ate more meat yesterday than seemed physically possible, so I’m not surprised.” Chihiro allowed the memories of yesterday to come back to him. After the hunt itself was a little fuzzy, but hardly in the same way as his recollections of going berserk. It’s a start.

“That much, huh.” He stood and stretched, feeling the tender spots where his spines had recently grown in. He wasn’t looking forward to seeing how his transformation was proceeding, but it was starting to bother him less. Haruka was just so normal, in spite of all his differences. Chihiro observed the man standing next to him, his utterly unintimidating face with its multitude of small moles, his plump belly that betrayed none of his strength. If I really am just like him, no one will ever guess I’m not human. Haruka tilted his head as he seemed to realize he was being stared at.

“Feeling good?”

“Yeah. Still a bit sore.”

“Growing new bones isn’t exactly easy.” Haruka always wore that easygoing smile when he said those sorts of things. It was one of many habits that made Chihiro feel like punching him. Right then that feeling came second to a strong desire for a bath. There were still bits of dried blood stuck all over him, which suggested he’d been quite a sight while eating. They began walking back toward home.

“Did I look very scary?” Chihiro asked after a while. “While I was eating the deer, did I seem really…” He didn’t have the words to ask.

“Well, of course you looked terrifying.” Haruka was not smiling now. “I know what you’re going through as I’ve been there myself, but I’d never considered what it looked like from the outside.” They were walking a more well-trodden path on the way back, Chihiro behind Haruka as before. “It’s the side of amazons that’s best known, the flesh-eating monster, the devourer. Of course, we only eat like that when we’ve been starving.”

“You spend a lot of time thinking about this?” Chihiro asked. Haruka flashed him a smile over his shoulder.

“I’ve been wondering about my place in the world since before you were born.” An odd feeling hit Chihiro as he considered those words. They had both been alive for less than ten years, but the experience Haruka had seemed to place him in a position of true seniority.

“Back then… you knew my father.” Haruka sighed.

“Yes, I knew your parents. When I had just awakened and was malnourished and weak, they gave me food and shelter. Jin gave me the belt, and I ask myself even now what he was playing at…” He shook his head. “He wasn’t always like how he was when you met him.” In Chihiro’s memory Jin was a monster, pursuing him in the name of some vendetta he knew nothing about.

“Was he kind to you?” Haruka laughed.

“Far from it. I think he enjoyed fighting me, but he wanted to kill me as much as he did any other amazon.” Chihiro clenched his fists.

“Then why didn’t you kill him before any of this happened?”

“You mean before you were conceived? Because he loved Nanaha.” My mother… Chihiro’s memories of her made up what little childhood he had, before everything had gone so wrong. “I really thought the way he treated her then could make up for how he acted after you were born. And regardless of what you may think, I don’t like to kill people.” Chihiro stayed silent a while, trying to imagine what might have been. Would the world really be a better place if he wasn’t in it, if his father had died before siring him? Would it? “I hope you aren’t thinking you’d have preferred it that way. I took the time to pull you out of that trash heap, it would be nice if you valued your own life too.” Trash heap?

“I’m not!” It wasn’t worth pondering these what-if scenarios. He was alive now, and that was what mattered.

“Well, good.”

The two returned home and Chihiro immediately made for his bathroom. To him this was the best part of the big house, a bath of his own. Comfort hadn’t been much of a priority in the construction of his accommodations at 4C, so he’d had to be content with a small shower there. But here he could relax in the big tub and even enjoy a view of the garden outside. Chihiro gladly shed his bloodstained clothes and headed for the tiled bathing area, trying not to worry about what he’d see in the mirror.

“Whoa.” There really was blood all over his face. He turned the shower on and got to scrubbing. He’d more or less gotten used to the claws and managed not to scratch himself much. Gingerly, he prodded at the newly grown blades on his forearm. They were less than half as long as they’d been when he transformed with his belt in the past, but just as black and hard. They were sure to keep growing, along with the ones on his back and legs. Chihiro applied soap and tried not to think too hard about it. If Haruka could be so infuriatingly easygoing about everything then clearly these changes were no indication of a loss of humanity. Chihiro was hardly feeling aggressive at the moment anyway. He met his own gaze in the mirror, considering the bright red hue of his eyes, the speckling of blue scales that surrounded them. Had he really changed that much? It couldn’t have been more than two months ago that Haruka had brought him here, and in most ways he was only getting back to how he’d been before. My hair’s still a bit short, he thought as he rinsed off. Chihiro stood and turned toward the filled bathtub but as he did so he caught a glimpse of his back in the mirror. He paused, looking over his shoulder at the blue scales with their pattern of thin red stripes, the row of small spikes that delineated his spine’s place beneath his skin. He still lacked a tail, but the soreness in his lower back suggested he’d be growing one soon. There was something else too, rows of spots on either side of his spine that were just slightly raised. Chihiro reached out tentatively and prodded one, then felt a tension in his back and a strange softness under his finger as a glassy tendril emerged for just a second. He recoiled in shock and a memory asserted itself, one of rage and pain and so much blood… I had these when I lost control of myself. Chihiro swallowed, suddenly shivering despite the steamy room. Just when everything had seemed to be going well, too. He walked over to the tub, got into the warm water and let it dispel some of the anxious tension within him. This doesn’t mean I’ll become that thing, he told himself. They were just his natural traits as an amazon, inherently neither good nor bad. Even if it did turn out that he was becoming a monster, Haruka  would definitely be able to subdue him. He was growing, but his strength was still nothing compared to the older boy’s, especially without the boost from the belt. It seemed like with every week that passed Chihiro grew further and further from the person he’d been, and he wasn’t sure he felt ready for what that could mean.

The days went by slowly. Chihiro spent more and more time outside, sometimes with Haruka but most often alone, just roaming. He didn’t dare go too far from the house when the elder amazon was out as he still didn’t trust his sense of direction in the woods. It felt good to be out in the open, to run and to climb, to feel the sun and the wind against his skin. All the while he felt the twinges of growing pains at the base of his spine, and at last the tiny nub that was the beginning of his tail emerged.

“It’s so small but my whole ass is sore,” Chihiro complained to Haruka over a rare shared dinner. “You made it seem like it wouldn’t be this bad.” Haruka only held his hands up in defeat.

“My growth spurt lasted six months and I was sleeping for most of the first four. A lot of the more painful stuff happened while I slept.” There was nothing to do but take painkillers and wait it out. Chihiro’s appetite was still surging and he was allowed to participate in one hunt weekly until he developed more self-control. His habit of tearing apart prey and stuffing himself until he passed out seemed to expedite tail development but was of no help in the effort to store up food for winter.

“If I keep doing this will I get as fat as you?” Chihiro asked while the two amazons put away butchered deer parts. Haruka scowled.

“I wouldn’t count on it, but it’s certainly possible.” Chihiro was put in charge of washing his own laundry after that. His tail grew almost long enough to touch the ground when he stood but stayed thin even as spines began to grow on it. He cut holes in his pairs of pants to let it move freely while he walked. It was the strangest thing Chihiro had ever felt but he refused to let it scare him. He would weather this too and come out even stronger.