Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When L eaf woke up they saw the stars.

It was pretty.

Their hands played with the soft ground.

The ground felt differently than it usually felt. Like drier? Harsher? It was hard to describe.

They also felt clothes. He did not remember being clothed last.

He leaned his head off of the ground to look at it. His hands were holding something.

There was a pendant held by a long thin piece of horse leather. It was worn down in a way that spoke of being dearly loved.

The pendant looked like gold but duller, Leaf didn’t know it just didn’t give off the vibe of any precious metal they had ever heard of. The pendant itself was a circle, around a millimeter thick. Within the rim was a simple engraving, a leaf that reached the top and bottom and a stone that reached the sides.

It brought emotions foreign to Leaf.

The rest of the body wore a green poncho with a banner going from the neck to the midsection. A leaf within a diamond sat in the banner. Under the poncho, held two knife holsters with, of course, knives. Simple cargo pants were held by a finely weaved leather belt. The hands were wrapped precariously with a brown cloth. The outfit looked quite nice to Leaf.

The thing ruining was a pair of shoes. It felt stuffy and itchy. The disconnect it gave Leaf to the earth felt Wrong. Leaf needed to get them off asap. Unfortunately, they were tied with a thick string. That didn’t matter, with sharp nails, they tore at the shoes and socks until they were shreds and far away.

They felt free and grounded by the earth with the shoes off.

Those feet were not made of plants. They were flesh, what. Leaf put their hands up to the side of their head. There were ears! Fucking ears. Not pointy ones. Human fucking ears.

Leaf quickly took stock of the body they had found themselves in.

It could not be. The laws of nature couldn’t allow it.

All these traits led to one, impossible conclusion, Leaf was a human now.

Gods can’t turn into, much less look like, humans. The only feasible answer was that something turned Leaf into a human.

Leaf didn’t know many things but they did know gods couldn’t mimic the look of a mortal sentient being.

No matter the laws of the universe Leaf was human now.

This meant… Leaf was no longer an outsider. They could interact with others without fearing being used because of their power, if they even had powers anymore.

It made sense to Leaf, who was just a tapestry of all they’ve seen or heard. Everything they’ve ever heard incorporated itself in his vocabulary and knowledge whether he cared or not. Would it be enough to belong?

A spike of hope went through Leaf. They could at least try.

He stumbled onto his knees. He wouldn’t live long without the basic necessities.

The former god stumbled through the trees looking for something. They didn’t know what they were looking for but it had to be something.

Eventually there was a clearing, a path of dirt that cut through the trees. Leaf tripped over their feet. The gravel cut into their face.

A rumbling of the ground was oncoming. Ughhhh. They’ll have to move.

The rumbling stopped and a pair of feet appeared.

Leaf rolled over to look at the figure.

“Who er u,” Leaf slurred.

The man scrunched his eyebrows. A beat of silence. Leaf’s head hurt.

“I’m Alois.”

Everything felt fuzzy.

“Cool. Name. Good,” she mumbled.

Leaf awoke to soft sheets and silence.

The silence scratched at their mind. He got up and sat at the wooden chair nearby instead, the discomfort of it grounding zem.

Leaf leaned their back over the top rail of the chair and heard a crackling noise. That seemed like it be bad but the release of tension was immediate. Ohhhh, how that felt nice.

Before he could look around the room, the door opened. Into the room came the man who probably brought Leaf here.

Leaf got straight to the point, “Thank you. I owe you.”

“For what?”

Leaf didn’t know but they were sure the mortal did something nice for Leaf. They weren’t on the side of the road nearly dying after all.

This wasn’t in the manual of conversations Leaf once heard.

Leaf had a feeling they had been scammed. Dam. Rude. How random how to pamphlets read aloud should really be more considerate of random deities that might stumble upon them.

“Keeping me alive.”

Silence. Gratingly.

He sighed and rubbed his head, “This is going to be blunt. Hopefully the gods are with me on this. I hoped someone of my family would help me but now I’m disowned. Me and a few friends are bounty hunters. Our jobs have been getting increasingly… explorative recently. We are in the need of a druid on the team.” He looked right at Leaf, “Do you have nature powers?”

Powers? Leaf had those in their previous forms but this human body may not have such freedoms. Naturally at least.

Powers could be learned if the body had an attunement to magic. Leaf could only put their bets on having such attunement in this body. Xey would only need a few books to learn how. That is if Leaf wanted to do that.

Leaf decided to stay with Alois for now. They could find someone else but the internal vibe checker checked the dude out. He was all good.

Leaf shook their head, “No.” Alois slumped. “I’ve been looking for books to teach me to be a druid. I’m able to be a great druid, at least my mom told me that, I just need the know how. Raw magic can be dangerous without knowledge of control. I just need the knowledge and I guess I can join you.”

Alois’ shoulder stopped slumping. Good to see Leaf was still good at bullshitting their way through situations.

“So you’ll join us?”

“Sure. As long as you get me those books.”

Alois smiled more brightly than Leaf anticipated, “That sounds like a deal. I never caught your name did I?”

The mortal might be able to know it was Leaf if they said their actual name. Not many would be stupid enough to name their child after an object, much less one associated with a god.

Leaf wasn’t so foolish to ever trust again.

“My name is Vernon. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Leaf smiled and held out their hand.

Chapter Text

It was unusual for rain to happen this time of year in the city, yet there was still a torrent of rain that came out of nowhere and seemed to not want to leave for the time being. It was like a warning that something had changed.

Most people were not ready for the rain so most pedestrians scrambled inside for some semblance of warmth and dryness. Antoine was not most people.

Most people wouldn’t even be in the situation he was in right now.

With the streets emptied, the alley Antoine was in was only filled with the sounds of pattering rain and crunching with an occasional car speeding by. The consumption of soft matter was drowned out by rain.

Some how it was worse that it was raining. The blood couldn’t seep into anything, it was just washed away into a nearby drain. Antoine had to accept what he was doing.

The density of the rain made it difficult for bystanders to watch if they knew what Antoine was doing. He could hide from the world behind the dumpster but not from himself. No god to judge the action of a mortal.

At the very least, the cold numbness of the rain had entered his bones, distracting him from the nausea from his action.

When Antoine was done, he took the hoodie on the ground and wiped his face and mouth off with it. The stains of blood sat less noticeably in his skin with how cold it was out. His jacket would have to be abandoned though.

He swallowed the rising spit in his mouth and turned around to see quite possibly the worse person in this circumstance. Not like there would be anyone he would want to see after what he had done.

He was grateful he never had to make the first move when it came to Leaf.

Leaf walked forward, twirling their umbrella as they went. They stopped in front of the corpse with a small frown, “I thought I felt someone disturbing the natural order of things. Should’ve known it was you.”

Antoine stood silently, the hoodie still his hand. There was no absolving from what he did. He wasn’t in the mood to talk either.

Leaf side-eyed Antoine before walking to their car. Antoine didn’t hear the car come by at all.

They opened the passenger door.

“Come on. I think you’ll need some good shut eye after eating someone… or maybe not. I dunno I’ve never eaten someone.”

Antoine still stood there, hoodie in hand. He couldn’t walk. He couldn’t move. It must’ve been the cold.

He could speak though. “I wouldn’t think you’d eat one of your children.”

“That’s true. But I’m not a big fan of meat anyways. Makes my stomach feel weird. Ya comin’ or not?”

If he went into the car, three things could happen. One, he would die. Two, Leaf would let Squrrly have him to experiment on. Three, he would have a warm bed, shower and food.

He was betting on three since Leaf didn’t immediately go into hysterics upon finding Antoine.

Antoine dropped the hoodie and walked towards the car. Leaf smiled and waved their hand over the ground. Antoine looked back at the body to see ants swarming the corpse, devouring it.

“It’s what Bugz would’ve wanted I think.”

Antoine hummed and nodded.

The car ride, which had been going on for about two minutes before hitting traffic, was silent. Awkwardly silent. Antoine would rather be alone right now after eating a friend but someone’s guardian just had to find him.

He usually loved silence, especially sitting on the roofs with Calysto after beating up some bad guys. He missed Calysto’s warmth. The car, while warm, blasted hot air into Antoine’s eyes, making the ride even more insufferable.

He might as well talk to keep out of his head.

“Where are we going?”

Leaf tapped the steering wheel impatiently. “My place.”

“Is anyone there?”

“Just me and Squrrly right now. Breeze and Shadow have been busy with being new side-kicks.”

“Oh.”

Another two minutes of silence passed.

“So why’dda eat Bugz?”

Antoine didn’t want to answer that. Not right now. So he did the very socially correct thing to do and countered a question with a question.

“Why are you so relaxed about Bugz being dead?”

Leaf tsked and leaned back in their seat. Traffic wasn’t moving anytime soon. The unexpected rain probably caused a crash.

“Eh. Ya live ya die. That’s life.”

“How vague.”

Leaf stayed silent for a beat longer then looked at Antoine. Antoine didn’t like being looked at without his mask on. It made him feel too seen.

Leaf chuckled.

“You’ve just broken ground for your demise. Life ain’t never gonna be the same for you. If you continue down the path you are pointing towards, you’ll understand my world soon enough. If you don’t, you might get your happy ending with that star hero. It all depends on how fast you’re gonna use the shovel.”

Antoine moved the air vent out of his eyes and Leaf sat up to continue the drive.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Then what will?”

“What do you mean ‘what will?’ Answering my question will answer my question?”

Leaf accidentally doused a person on the street with water as they took a turn. “Oh whoops. I forgot your question.”

“Why do you not care that Bugz died?”

They hummed.

“In my world, you lose people a lot. And when you lose people a lot, that kinda sucks. So you have to learn to not to care.”

“Not even your kids?”

Leaf looked at Antoine and smiled, “Well I do care for people. But deeply? I can’t care for anyone.” They laughed. “I don’t care at all. We could drive into that building there and end our lives. Hmm. That seems kinda fun.”

Leaf swerved the car into another lane real quickly. Antoine grabbed their seat. They didn’t want to die.

“But alas, if I’m not exploiting people, my kids won’t have enough money to pursue their dreams. Ah, the struggles of adulthood.”

Fucking maniac. That’s what he gets for asking a question.

At Leaf’s place, they opened the garage door and Leaf shouted, “Squrrly, guess who’s my favorite child now!”

A short person with wild, fluffy, silver hair came out of a room. “Me?”

“Ding ding ding! Antoine has Bugz powers now. I’m going to make spaghetti.”

Antoine started to take his jacket off as Squrrly ambled towards him.

“Are you staying the night?”

“I guess.”

Squrrly nodded with vigor. “Yes yes. So, you now have Bugz’s powers, right Antoine?”

He nodded. His shoes came off next.

“Ooooooo. Bugz’s ability is foresight. Your ability is that when you eat people, you gain their powers right?” Again, Antoine nodded, “How fascinating! You should stay here then. Me and Leaf know Bugz better than anyone, if you want to learn their abilities, we are the people for you! Not that I want to see the process of how your abilities work of course. This is just the benefit for you.”

Antoine did want to become the most powerful hero. Even more powerful than Leaf and Calysto. And to do that he had to let go of some moralities. There was no better place to do that than a mad scientist’s house.

Chapter Text

Picking up the metal loop, Leaf asked, “What’s this?”

The vendor smiled, a bit too wide, “Why that is a necklace.”

“A what?”

Grabbing the necklace from Leaf, the vendor demonstrated, “Well its a peace of fashion. You clasp it around your neck like so and look better than everyone in the square.”

Well that offer couldn’t be refuted. Leaf was quite a hottie, or so they’ve been told.

“I’ll take it. How much?” Leaf asked, pulling out their money cinch.

It was insane how mortals had so much emotional dependency on material things. The thing that gained the most value and love over time was bonding with others.

The vendor smiled like the cat who caught the cream, “It will be 12 silver.”

Only 12 silver? Hah that cheap as hell, Leaf could easily afford it. Maybe only buying books for years altered their sense of monetary value. Books are so hard to come by.

Leaf smiled, “Deal.”

The weight of the necklace was comforting. Like a blanket.

Leaf wanted more.

Leaf bought more.

They bought many things, earrings, anklets, bracelets, chains, rings, necklaces, broaches, headbands, armlets, cuff links, and a chatelaine. They of course adorned their body in all of it. Leaf definitely reached top coolness. Nothing could top it.

It was probably vain as fuck.

Leaf had also bought a long, rope-like piece of gold. They didn’t know what to do with it so they tied it to their belt loop and dragged it along like a tail. Leaf bought a belt to have two tail like things. It was fun.

They were the coolest motherfucker ever.

So.

It wasn’t their fault when the market place lit on fire. Definitely, not because their gold tail thing, which rubbed against the gravel, sparking. That would be blasphemous.

There was definitely not a problem with the market place being one of the largest exporters of bombs too. Nothing would explode. Everything would! Fuck!

A fter spending a few years, it was wacko that mortals measured time, with the bounty hunters Leaf had finally had read and practiced enough that their magical abilities were heavily desirable. Thankfully, Leaf’s bluffs had been true, he took to magic quickly. They weren’t going to think about the nauseous nostalgia that relearning to connect to nature brought forth. Really all of it was rather overwhelming to experience and have to adapt, either in a pathetic flesh machine or for the first time in general. Mortal life was much different than one of immortality. It filled Leaf with more anxieties than they could ever comprehend. And gods were suppose to be the incomprehensible ones. No one needed to know though.

The old god had silently vowed to make a library and gain knowledge of the world so that if this were to ever happen again, they wouldn’t have to deal with not understanding shit again.

Anyways, Leaf ran from his problems because that always solved everything.

On their way to the meet up spot for his team, Leaf saw Cat, a very cute dragonborn.

“Gya” Leaf shouted as he passed by to flirt.

The dragonborn looked at her and laughed like she knew everything would be ok.

Leaf smiled at her laughter. Zey were aware they weren’t that funny but laughter made them feel wanted. Especially hers. They couldn’t help but chase the feeling, if they needed to be stupid then so be it. Mispronouncing the word gay did that perfectly well.

At the meetup spot, Leaf only saw Janelle. Janelle was probably done sort of scamming people with her hypnotizing music. Such is the life of a bard.

Leaf stretched, “Made much money.”

The tiefling rolled her eyes, “More than you probably did, Vernon. You look hideous.”

Leaf glared at her playfully.

“I’m gorgeous,” Leaf retorted, pettily, “You’re fashion is… Ill issue.”

“You are so bad at talking. Have you ever had any friends?” she laughed.

Leaf didn’t answer, noting to never tell her anything personal.

The exploded a building nearby. They ran for the closest shelter to not get hit by debris.

L eaf felt something wooden. Uhhhhhh.

“It’s a wagon,” Leaf said.

Janelle snicked, “Well duh.”

Shut up Janelle, they just needed a second.

Everyone hates Leaf in particular. Clearly.

O k, they deserved it a little. Blowing up a marketplace is kind of a dickish move. Was it dickish if it wasn’t deliberate though?

Janelle and Leaf then ran to the meet up spot outside of the town. This meet up spot was not looking like an active war zone. The rest of the team was here. They must’ve had a premonition of the accident, of course.

Jaxl, the leader, walked over to the two girls. Janelle immediately walked to Carrie, leaving Leaf to deal with his ire.

Yatta yatta. Leaf didn’t pay attention.

Alois came behind Leaf, “At least you didn’t die.”

“Death comes for all but me.” Leaf smiled.

He grumbled, “ Stop being so vague.”

Leaf chuckled and threw their arm around his shoulders, “I could tell you but that would ruin the surprise for the readers.”

Alois glanced at Leaf and was silent for a moment.

He eventually said, “So, you… used all of your available money on… jewelry?”

Leaf smiled brightly, “Yeah! Isn’t it so cool? This stuff is amazing.”

He stared at Leaf for a second then started to walk off.

“Very well. We got a new job to do.”

Leaf skipped happily after him.

Chapter Text

Squrrly was heavier than they seemed because of all the stuff she stored in her fur. And right now, Squrrly was on Leaf’s shoulder as they perused a marketplace for stuff.

Leaf wanted more jewelry and maybe a book or a snack. Squrrly wanted something lune had never had before.

They got some stares from people, the not-quite person and a giant squirrel. Most probably from the peculiar energy that was being a god.

Squrrly had learned it was easier to look for market items easier with a friend. A friend won’t look at Squrrly weird so people wouldn't question the god’s presence.

So far, their search was for naught. Leaf was hungry. Stupid human body.

They went to a restaurant. Squrrly agreed to eat as a courtesy. Chivalry isn’t dead after all. It won’t until a thousand more years.

The waiter didn’t question it when Squrrly sat on the booth. Leaf smirked at Squrrly’s need for a toddler’s chair riser. What a shame it is to be short.

Leaf didn’t even look at the menu. It knew what they were gonna get. A salad. Meat made tummy weird as a sorta-human.

Squrrly pondered as she read the menu, “Isn’t it cannibalism if you eat leaves?”

Leaf stopped staring out the window and looked at the squirrel.

“Huh?”

“Well usually, you are a leaf. A leaf eating leaves is eating itself. Cannibalism.”

“True. But I’m not a leaf right now.”

“Then aren’t you like all the alive thing, though?”

“I mean, yeah, I guess?”

“So eating something that is alive would be cannibalism.”

“Cannibalism doesn’t separate itself from the living though? Eating the dead is how most cannibalize.”

“But you separate yourself from the dead.”

“Fuck. Salads are plants torn from the ground. So if it’s dead, its not cannibalism.”

Leaf was getting frustrated. They were gonna ask if Squrrly ate a squirrel, would that be cannibalism? The answer would probably be a yes so the question would be pointless.

“I think you eating dead should be cannibalism because they were once alive. And a god of death has yet to be revealed.”

Leaf put their head in their hands. “I guess I’m the god of cannibalism now.”

“Yup. And you’re paying.”

“Fuck you.”

Squrrly hummed as Leaf waved the waitress over to order. She asked for their orders, unsurprisingly.

“Clam soup,” said Squrrly.

Leaf ordered, “A salad.”

“What kind of salad?”

“What the fuck? There’s multiple kinds of salads?”

The waitress just stared at Leaf. It couldn’t be known they didn’t bother to look at the menu. Squrrly snickered like the menu-reading asshole lune was.

“A beet salad then?”

“Alright. I will be right back with your meals.”

The waitress came back way too quickly with their food. Squrrly looked out the window.

“Look at that random guy. He so panicked. Loser.”

Leaf nodded, mouth full of leaves. Loser indeed.

Chapter Text

Kilo was just a silly little guy. So silly.

They were made in the city from a grouchy asshole of a pottery man. This pottery guy somehow had magic powers so a stupid clay thing he made came to life.

“I’ll name you Kilo since you only weigh a kilo,” he said.

“Ok,” said Kilo.

“What the fuck? You can speak in minds?”

“What the fuck I do?”

And that is how Kilo learned they could speak telepathically.

The pottery shop was boring. One day, as Kilo walked around they fell into the fireplace and died.

The old man was mad so he threw Kilo’s corpse into the forest.

Stupid man. It was the forest of life. Kilo came back to life but was now a ghost. With fire powers. And more telepathy. Because they were a fire ghost.

Kilo played pranks on people. Steal that kid’s candy. Burn down that guy’s house. Make a rubber duck follow that chick.

Most of the pranks were arson. Arson is morally correct always. Fire yayyyyyy. Kilo loved fire. It was what made them and what killed them. It was such a silly thing.

No one could get rid of the haunting of Golden Plant City. Y’know the only city that was allowed to be built next to the Forest of Life.

It was a good life causing problems.

Kilo was restricted on one thing. Every so often they had to go back to the forest to get ghost energy. The brimming life of the forest made it easier for ghosts to materialize. Plus whatever situation Lady Leaf and Skeletal Queen of Death had going on.

If only they could cause chaos outside of Golden Plant City. So sad.

Chapter Text

When Leaf met their first child, it was very startling. For many reasons, but mostly because they didn’t know they could even have one. The child was also very loud.

It wasn’t easy sleeping with Stone gone but noise near their body made it impossible.

There wasn’t a physical presence. However, a presence was present.

“Why did you leave me?!” a voice reverberated inside of Leaf’s mind. They couldn’t see anything.

Huh.

“I was born only mere years after you were birthed? Why did you never come find me?!”

What are years?

“Bud. I can’t see you.”

“You’ve never seen me!”

Ok? Leaf can’t see what they can’t see. They were starting to get irritated from being yelled by some rando.

“Who are you?”

Silence.

That was probably not what the other wanted to hear, but it was a valid question.

This time the voice was like a whisper, “I’m Conscience. Your child.”

Oh.

“Oh.”

Parenthood. Huh.

Leaf was pretty sure they couldn’t reproduce with others. Asexual like birch trees. Cockblocked by Terra herself.

“I can’t have kids. So, what?”

“You’re a god! Don’t you think we are different! You don’t need sex to have children! How do you think you came to existence!”

“I dunno. I don’t think about it.”

“You are so selfish. Do you not think of others?”

“Uhhh. Yeah I do. I wonder when Stone will get back.”

“But emotions with it? Anything?”

Leaf couldn’t answer that. They didn’t know.

Conscience seemed betrayed by Leaf. They would settle down eventually. Godhood was good for that age-old numbness.

But if Conscience was the controller of all sapient creatures, it would probably keep its emotions.

And there was nothing for Leaf to do. The god felt as their child left.

It reminded how Leaf felt about Terra. Leaf didn’t know they had a creator for a long time. At first, Leaf was overjoyed before realizing a normal, happy relationship was impossible for gods. If a foundation for a relationship had been built, maybe it’d be possible for them. They had felt abandoned then felt nothing. But Terra remained an overlord and Leaf kept to themselves.

Leaf could handle being a deadbeat parent. They learned from the best.

When Earth returned, Life returned to their place of rest. Their child would have to answer its questions itself. No answers would be happy nor satisfying.

Their poor child of life.