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Published:
2025-01-05
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2025-01-11
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2/?
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You’re My World (But am I Yours?)

Summary:

Dazai Osamu had been alone for as long as he could remember.

His backstory? Unimportant.

His parents? Dead in a ditch somewhere.

All that mattered was his adoptive father, Odasaku, and his siblings, Atsushi and Kyouka. They were his family—his world.

Dazai had no desire to join the Survey Corps. Why would he? Life was peaceful. His family was safe, alive, and together.

Until tragedy struck.

A BSD X AOT AU.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: 1 - The Fall of Wall Maria

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


“See you later…Osamu.”


”Nii-san…”

Who…was that…?

”Nii-san!” 

Dazai groaned, groggily opening his eyes. “Huh…?” he murmured.

“Nii-san.” Dazai blinked, slowly focusing on the figure standing in front of him—Kyouka, his younger sister.

Kyouka was a sweet, quiet young girl with short black hair that just brushed her shoulders. She wore a plain white blouse, the fabric soft but worn from use, and a long blue skirt that complemented her small frame.

If Dazai guessed correctly she was probably around eight years old right now—far younger than him, but already carrying a depth to her that made her seem older. Kyouka had always been sharp, her intelligence quietly evident, though her tendency to stay silent often made her seem detached.

Dazai remembered the first time they’d found her, beaten, bloodied, and broken in ways he couldn’t have imagined. The girl had been a mere shadow of herself, too fragile to utter more than a soft murmur. But the girl standing beside him now, speaking clearly and without hesitation, was a stark contrast to the broken child she had once been.

”Kyouka-chan? Where…are we?” Dazai questioned, rubbing his eyes awake. “And why is your hair so short?” 

Kyouka shot him a questioning look. “I don’t know what you mean, Nii-san.” She says.

Dazai rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Sorry, I’m probably just still half-asleep.” He grinned.

Kyouka shrugged slightly. “It’s okay, but we should probably get going. Oda-san might get worried.”

Dazai nodded, standing up. “You’re right.”

“Let’s go.”


“Hey, Kyouka-chan, what do you think Odasaku is gonna make for dinner tonight?” Dazai asked as they walked through the gates.

Kyouka paused, humming thoughtfully. “Maybe…curry?”

Dazai chuckled softly, a playful grin tugging at his lips. “True, but, don’t you get tired of all the curry once in a while? I know I do.” 

Kyouka nodded, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “I don’t mind. It’s always good when he makes it.”

“You guys talking about yer’ dad’s famous curry?” a guard slurred, suddenly appearing beside them and hooking his arm over Dazai’s shoulder. 

Dazai frowned, his expression hardening slightly as he shrugged the arm off. “Have you guys been drinking again?” he asked coolly, turning to face the other guards with an eyebrow raised. “It’s really not good for you.”

The guards erupted into loud, drunken laughter, their faces growing redder by the second. One of them wiped a tear from his eye and cackled, “What, are you my mom now?!”

Dazai’s lips twitched into a thin smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No, but, aren’t you on duty today?” He asked, looking at one guard in particular—Ango Sakuguchi. 

Ango was an old friend of Odasaku, though Dazai never learned the full details of their history, he knew that Ango had been there for Odasaku during a rough patch, offering help when it was needed most. He also knew that Ango had worked as an assistant to Dr. Mori a few years back, but for some reason, he was always lingering here, sloshed and laughing along with the other guards.

Dazai's mind briefly wandered. Something must’ve happened if he’s always out here boozing it up like this. But Odasaku had vouched for him—said he was trustworthy. And despite his peculiar habits, Dazai usually let him off easy, giving him the benefit of the doubt. For Odasaku’s sake.

Ango cleared his throat awkwardly, looking away from Dazai in shame. “We get hungry and thirsty, hanging out here all day. Is it such a crime for us to drink?” 

“And what will you do if the Titans break in?” 

The guards stiffened in surprise, turning to look at the young girl standing beside Dazai.

“If one day, the titans somehow manage to invade the town,” she continued, “what will you do? Fight? In your drunken state?”

 

The guards fell silent for a moment, the weight of Kyouka’s words sinking in. The carefree atmosphere around them felt suddenly uneasy. Ango opened his mouth to speak, but one of the other guards quickly interrupted, chuckling awkwardly.

“Hey, relax, kid. We’re just having a drink,” he said, his voice faltering. “No need to get all serious on us.”

Kyouka didn’t respond. 

 

Dazai sighed, stepping forward and giving the guards a final glance. “If that’s all, then we’ll be going now.”

Without waiting for a response, he started walking, taking Kyouka’s hand as they left the guards alone to process their thoughts.

”…Man, what a nutcase.”


-
DING-DONGG!!

”The Survey corps are back!!”

”The front gate’s opening!”

Dazai stood by, watching as the crowds flooded into the streets, eagerly awaiting the arrival of the so-called ‘heroes.’ The people cheered, faces lit with hope, as if the Survey Corps' return was some kind of salvation.

The Survey Corp. Dazai didn’t care much for them. Why should he? They were always chasing the same hopeless goals year after year: defeat the Titans, save humanity, uncover the secrets behind their origins. It all felt like a never-ending cycle. Years had passed, and still, they hadn’t even figured out where the Titans came from. And every time they returned, the death toll grew higher, the bodies adding to the endless list of the fallen.

It was stupid, really, to place so much faith in them.

“Let’s go, Kyouka-chan,” Dazai said, gently guiding her away from the bustling crowd. He didn’t want her to get caught up in that same sheep-like mindset.


-
Creek!

”We’re home.” Dazai said, stepping through the door.

“Onii-san! Welcome back!” a young boy greeted, stepping up to the two of them.

“Hey, Atsushi.” Dazai huffed softly, ruffling the boy’s hair with a fond smile.

Atsushi was another of his siblings—a kind-hearted, gentle soul with a heart far too big for his small frame. It was admirable, really, his unwavering desire to help others, even if it often led him into difficult situations. Whether it was protecting a child from bullies or giving his food to a stray cat, Atsushi always seemed to find someone or something to save.

“You’re back early.” Odasaku greeted, glancing up from where he was tending to a small pot on the stove. His eyes flickered to the young children, a warm smile crossing his face as he wiped his hands on his apron.

Dazai returned the smile as he began emptying the wood into the crate. “Yeah, well, what can I say? I’m just that efficient.” He said dramatically, taking a seat at the table. 

Odasaku chuckled at Dazai’s comment, shaking his head with a soft laugh. He reached for three silver plates and began ladling the spicy curry into them, the rich aroma filling the room.

“Curry again?” Dazai whined, spreading his body against the table. “Can’t we have literally anything else?” 

Odasaku smiled. “I’m afraid not, Dazai-kun. This is all we can afford.” He said, placing the three bowls in front of each children. 

Kyouka gave a quiet, respectful thank you before taking a bite, her expression softening at the familiar, comforting taste.

Dazai poked at his food with a spoon, not particularly enthusiastic about it but still eating. His eyes flickered over to Atsushi, who hadn’t touched his bowl at all. The boy was staring at his plate, lost in thought, his fingers lightly grazing the edge of the bowl.

“Hey, Atsushi,” Dazai said softly, glancing over at him. “You okay?”

Atsushi didn’t respond immediately, his brow furrowed slightly as if lost in some internal struggle. Finally, after a long pause, he looked up. “I’m going to join the Survey Corp.”

Dazai’s spoon paused mid-air, his expression unreadable for a moment.

Odasaku, who had been spooning curry into his own bowl, froze at the words as well. He didn’t look up, but he could feel a subtle shift in the tension.

Dazai sighed, his gaze sharpening as he set his spoon down. “No you won’t. It’s too dangerous.” He says coldly.

Atsushi furrowed his brows, turning to look at Dazai with wide, confused eyes. “Why not? The Survey Corps help people.” he argued, his voice rising slightly.

Dazai scoffed cruelly, leaning back in his chair with a sneer. “They’re not helping anyone by dying.” He said, “Face it, Atsushi. The Survey Corps is just a cycle of death. Every time they go out, they come back with more bodies, more blood on their hands, and nothing to show for it but the illusion of progress.”

Atsushi slammed his fists on the table, his chair scraping loudly against the floor.

“That’s not true!” Atsushi shouted, his voice thick with frustration. “You take that back! Those people risk their lives to protect us, and you’re just…just sitting here, mocking them!”

Dazai narrowed his eyes, “It’s the truth. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but that’s the reality of the situation.”

”Dazai…” Odasaku muttered, trying to diffuse the situation.

“I don’t care!” Atsushi yelled, his voice cracking with emotion. “I’ll do whatever it takes. Even if you don’t believe in me, I’ll prove you wrong!”

Without another word, Atsushi turned around sharply, rushing for the door. He swung it open with force, the creak of the wood echoing through the room.

-
SLAM!

The door slammed shut behind him, leaving a deafening silence in its wake.

Odasaku sighed deeply, rubbing the back of his neck. Kyouka, who had just finished her food, stood up. “I’ll go get him.” She says.

Odasaku nodded, giving her a brief glance. “Be careful.”

With a quiet nod, Kyouka left the room, the sound of her footsteps fading as she made her way outside.

-
Shut!

 

The sound of the door closing softly outside lingered as Odasaku broke the quiet. “…You do realize what you need to do, right?” He asked, his voice low but pointed, shooting Dazai a knowing look.

Dazai sighed, his arms crossing tightly over his chest. He exhaled slowly, his voice quieter than before. “…Yeah, yeah, I’m going.”

Dazai pushed himself up from the table and walked toward the door, his expression unreadable.


Atsushi threw a rock into the water in frustration, the stone skipping across the surface before sinking with a soft splash. “Can you believe him?” he muttered, shaking his head. “He doesn’t get it. Nobody does.”

“All I want is to help, to make a difference. But all he does is shut me down. Like it’s a crime to want to do something good.” He continued, throwing a second rock.

Kyouka said nothing at first, simply observing him. Finally, she spoke up, her voice soft and gentle. “You have to understand where he’s coming from, Atsushi. Not everyone makes it back…” she murmured, “We’re the only family that Dazai has.”

“He doesn’t want to lose you.” She added.

Atsushi paused, the weight of her words sinking in. He didn’t say anything back, though he could feel his anger slowly dissipating. His grip on the rock loosened, the stone slipping from his fingers and falling softly into the water.

“Mind if I join you?”

Atsushi turned, his gaze meeting Dazai’s. His older brother stood a few feet away, looking down at him with a softer expression than before.

Atsushi didn't reply immediately. His emotions were still tangled, the remnants of their earlier argument hanging in the air. But, after a moment, he nodded, his voice quieter than usual. “Sure...”

Dazai sat down between the two, the three of them looking out over the water in silence.

“I’m sorry,” Dazai spoke up after a long while, “For what I said earlier. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you’re worthless.” He gripped at his knees, his tone uncharacteristically more vulnerable. “If you want to join the Survey Corp…I’ll let you.”

Atsushi blinked in surprise, the words sinking in slower than he expected. His eyes flickered to Dazai, unsure if he had heard him right.

Dazai didn’t look at him, instead keeping his gaze on the water.

“…Dazai, I—“

-
BOOM!

An ungodly force crashed down on them, the ground shaking violently as a deafening roar reverberated through the air. Atsushi stumbled, nearly losing his footing as the earth beneath them quaked.

Dazai’s body tensed, his senses on high alert. “What was that…?” he muttered under his breath, his eyes scanning the horizon, trying to make sense of the sudden rumbling.

Kyouka groaned as she slowly pushed herself up from where she had fallen, dusting off her clothes. “Was it an earthquake?” she asked, her voice filled with confusion and a hint of fear.

Dazai moved forward, his footsteps quick and steady, following the rapidly growing crowd of panicked civilians. The air was thick with tension, and the loud chatter of frightened voices filled the streets. His eyes flicked from person to person, assessing their fear, their movements. There was something different in the atmosphere, something heavy and unsettling.

“I don’t think that was an earthquake,” Dazai whispered under his breath, turning a corner—he froze.

 

His heart skipped a beat as his eyes locked onto the towering figure looming above the city walls. There was smoke rising from behind the great stone barrier, and a gigantic hand gripped at the edge, causing the massive wall to tremble.

Dazai’s eyes widened, his heartbeat accelerating. He heard Atsushi’s horrified gasp beside him.

“The wall is 50 meters tall!” Atsushi shouted, his voice breaking. “How?!” He took a step forward, his body trembling with disbelief. “It’s impossible…”

Dazai was motionless, his eyes locked on the terrifying sight before him.

Then, it came. 

The titan pulled back it’s leg, immediately pulling it back down as it crashed through the city’s walls. The ground trembled violently, sending everyone nearby stumbling. Screams of terror filled the air as civilians were caught under the debris—women, children, men—all victims of the merciless chaos.

A piece of jagged rubble shot toward Dazai with incredible speed, striking him squarely in the right eye. The impact was immediate and brutal, sending a shockwave of pain through his skull. Dazai stumbled back, his vision blurring instantly. Blood trickled down his face from the deep wound, his hand instinctively reaching up to clutch his eye.

"Nii-san!" Kyouka's voice cracked through the air as she rushed to his side, panic flooding her tone.

Dazai's breath hitched, the pain overwhelming, but he clenched his jaw and fought to stay upright. 

“THE TITANS ARE INSIDE!!” Someone shouted, their voice breaking with terror. A civilian rushed past them, eyes wide with panic as they shoved their way through the crowded street.

Dazai’s heart clenched. 

No.

“Hurry! We have to run!” Atsushi yelled, already moving in the other direction.

Dazai wasn’t listening, he turned around, running in the opposite direction. Atsushi’s eyes widened, “D-Dazai?! What are you doing?!”

“I’m getting Odasaku!” Dazai called back without hesitation, his voice louder now, tinged with an emotion that wasn’t usually there—fear.

“Wait! Dazai, we don’t have time! He—”

“I don’t care!” Dazai snapped, cutting Atsushi off, his words coming out ragged as his legs carried him forward. His breath was quick and shallow, blood still dripping from his face, but he couldn’t stop. Not now. Not when Odasaku was somewhere in that chaos, possibly in danger.

Kyouka gritted her teeth, pushing herself harder as she ran after Dazai.

Atsushi stretched out his hand toward them, his voice cracking as he called, “W-Wait!”

He wanted to help. He had to help.

Odasaku was his father too.

His hand trembled, and despite the urgency in his chest, he couldn’t bring himself to move. 

“Don’t go…”


He’s fine.

He’s fine. 

Dazai kept running, his footsteps steady, though his heart raced. He didn’t stop. Even when the gut-wrenching cries of mothers, or the sickening thud of another body hitting the ground, echoed around him, he didn’t falter. His focus was unwavering, eyes locked on the path ahead, his only thought was to reach Odasaku.

Our house is fine, when I turn the corner our house will be there.

Just like always.

“ODASAKU!!” Dazai shouted, his voice breaking as he stumbled forward.

His eyes locked onto the scene in front of him, and for a moment, his body went numb. Their house, once a symbol of safety, was wrecked. A massive chunk of debris had smashed right through it, leaving nothing but rubble in its wake.

Dazai ran up to the wreckage, his heart pounding in his chest. Odasaku had to be in there. He had to be.

“Odasaku?!” He shouted, his voice thick with panic, as he began tearing through the debris. Kyouka rushed to his side, her small hands quick to help clear the rubble.

“Please be okay, please…” Dazai murmured under his breath, his movements frantic.

“…D…Dazai…? Is that you?” A weak voice winced, sending a shock of relief through Dazai.

His eyes widened as he turned toward the sound. There, beneath large, jagged pieces of debris, was Odasaku, struggling to move but still alive.

"Hold on, Odasaku! We’re going to get you out!" Dazai shouted, his voice frantic as he turned to Kyouka. "Kyouka! Hurry, lift the pillar!"

Kyouka nodded, her face pale but determined. She moved swiftly to grab the heavy pillar trapping Odasaku, her hands gripping it tightly. Dazai joined her, both of them pushing with all their strength.

-
THUD!

The ground shook with the impact, the children freezing in place as the titans drew closer, their massive footsteps reverberating through the air.

“HURRY, KYOUKA!” Dazai shouted, his voice strained as he pulled at the pillar with all his might.

Kyouka trembled, but her grip on the piece of wood never faltered.

“Dazai, take your sister and run.” Odasaku ordered, his voice firm but panicked.

“Not until we get you out!” Dazai retorted, his hands shaking as he tried to move the rubble faster.

Odasaku grimaced, his voice growing weaker. “Dazai…My legs are crushed underneath the rubble. Even if you somehow managed to get me out, I can’t run.”

Dazai’s heart skipped a beat, his desperation rising. "I’m strong! I can carry you!” he shouted, his eyes wide with panic.

”SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME, DAMNIT.” Odasaku’s voice cracked, the words sharp and urgent.

Dazai froze, his chest tightening. Odasaku’s usual calm was gone, replaced by the raw, trembling edge of a man who knew time was running out.

-
THUD!

The ground trembled, and they all froze.

Dazai’s eyes shot up. A titan—its grotesque grin wide, with long blonde hair flowing behind it—was stomping towards them. Towards them.

“KYOUKA, PLEASE!” Dazai’s voice cracked, desperation lacing his words. “We have to get him out now!”

Kyouka, her face pale with fear, gritted her teeth and pulled with all her strength. Sweat beaded on her forehead as the pillar shifted slightly, but not enough. It wasn’t enough.

“I...can’t...!” Kyouka gasped, her hands trembling as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Suddenly, the sound of whistling air cut through the chaos, and Ango appeared, soaring down on his ODM gear. He landed swiftly beside them, his face grim but determined.

Odasaku's eyes widened in relief. “Ango! Thank God! Please, take them and go!” he pleaded, his voice cracking.

Ango flashed a weary but confident smile. “Come on, Oda-san, who do you take me for? I'm a scout. I can handle one measly titan.” he said, drawing his swords with a flick of his wrist.

“No! Don’t!” Odasaku shouted, his voice strained as he watched Ango charge toward the titan.

Ango didn’t hesitate. His face was set with determination. I can do this, he thought, I’ll take down the titan and save them all.

It’s time to repay my debt!—

Ango’s boots skidded to a halt, his heart slamming against his chest. The titan, a grotesque, towering figure with unnerving, elongated limbs, had stopped. It tilted its head, its smile stretching wider, impossibly so. Its gaze was locked on Ango with a chilling, unsettling intensity.

Ango’s body trembled. 

 

Dazai pulled at the pillar again, a sweat falling down his brow. Then, without warning, an arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him away from Odasaku’s side.

“Ango?!” Dazai gasped, struggling against the grip. “What are you doing?! Let go!” He twisted in Ango’s hold, trying to break free.

Ango’s face was grim, his usual confidence replaced with raw urgency. “We don’t have time for this, Dazai!” he hissed, hauling him and Kyouka toward safety.

“But Odasaku!” Dazai shouted, his voice cracking with desperation. “You can’t just abandon him!”

Odasaku smiled solemnly as tears brimmed around his eyes. “Thank you.” He whispered.

Tears welled up in Dazai’s eyes as he reached out toward Odasaku, his trembling hand stretching through the air. “ODASAKU! DON’T LEAVE HIM!”

Ango’s grip tightened, pulling Dazai and Kyouka further away. His eyes were locked straight ahead, refusing to turn back. 

-
THUD!

The ground shook as the titan’s massive foot landed, its shadow casting an eerie gloom over the wreckage of the house. Dazai’s heart stopped. His breath caught in his throat.

The titan reached down with monstrous, elongated fingers, effortlessly sweeping through the rubble. It grabbed Odasaku’s body as though he were no more than a ragdoll, lifting him into the air. Odasaku's eyes were wide with pain, his body limp.

Dazai’s vision blurred, his body frozen, but he couldn’t stop the raw scream in his chest that clawed its way out.

"NO...!" His voice cracked, tears streaming down his face. “STOP IT!!!”

The titan gripped Odasaku’s body with ease, tearing him apart, its monstrous grin stretching wider as it pulled Odasaku closer to its mouth.

Dazai’s vision blurred, his heart pounding in his ears, but the overwhelming sense of helplessness paralyzed him.

-
CRUNCH!


Dazai’s body went numb, every inch of him freezing as if the world itself had turned to ice. The sound echoed in his skull, and his heart simply…stopped.

It felt like time had halted, as the titan devoured what was left of Odasaku. A person who had been more of a father to him than anyone else. Gone. In an instant.

His entire existence felt hollow.

“No...” Dazai whispered, but the words felt empty, hollow. He couldn’t feel the tears that streamed down his face, nor the torturous ache throbbing at his right eye. He couldn’t feel anything—his body, his mind, his heart all numb.

Odasaku was gone.

And nothing would ever be the same again.

Notes:

Character official ages;

Dazai • 12

Atsushi • 10

Kyouka • 8

Feedback is highly appreciated! Thx for reading ( ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ) ❤️

Chapter 2: 1 - Friends and Foes

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text


“Atsushi-kun.”

Atsushi looked up from where he was sitting, and there they were—Ango, Kyouka, and Dazai.

His eyes widened as he shot to his feet, a wave of relief washing over him at the sight of them alive. “You’re back!” he exclaimed, his voice trembling slightly.

But his joy faltered when he saw their expressions—haunted, distant, and heavy with something unspoken. His gaze lingered on Dazai, who stood still, his face pale, his right eye seemed to be bandaged with a makeshift cloth soaked in crimson.

“Where’s Oda-san?” Atsushi asked softly, though deep down, he already feared the answer.

No one answered.

 

Atsushi’s heart began to race. He stepped closer, his voice rising with a mixture of panic and hope. “Is he…is he coming later?”

Kyouka lowered her head, her face stained with tears. While Ango looked away, face filled with guilt and shame.

Finally, Dazai spoke. His voice was a hollow whisper, each word cutting like glass. “He’s not coming back. He’s gone, Atsushi.”

Atsushi’s breath hitched. He felt his chest tighten as if something heavy had settled there, making it hard to breathe. “He’s…gone?” His voice was barely a whisper.

Dazai nodded, his jaw tight.

Atsushi lowered his gaze, his hands clutching at the hem of his shirt. The wind whispered around them, carrying the sounds of distant cries and the faint smell of smoke, but it all felt far away.

He wanted to say something—anything—but there were no words that could reach past the hollow ache spreading through his chest. His lips parted, but no sound came.

Atsushi felt a small, warm hand slip into his own. He looked down and saw Kyouka holding his hand tightly. Her fingers trembled, but her grip was firm, grounding him in the moment.

“Oda-san…he didn’t die in vain,” she whispered, her voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “He would want us to keep moving forward. To live.”

 

Atsushi’s lip quivered, and he squeezed her hand gently in return. “Yeah…”

 

Dazai stood away from them, his gaze distant and unfocused as he watched Atsushi and Kyouka, their hands intertwined in quiet solidarity. The weight of their words hung in the air, but it felt like an empty echo to him. Keep moving forward? For what? For who?

A deep numbness settled in his chest, creeping through him like a cold shadow. Oda was gone, and with him, something within Dazai had shattered. 

Dazai clenched his fists at his sides, his mind swirling with frustration, anger, and apathy. The idea of pushing on, of pretending everything would be fine again—it felt so hollow.

”HURRY! CLOSE THE GATE!”

Dazai snapped out of his trance at the urgent shout, his head whipping toward the sound. A figure was charging toward the gate—a titan, but something was off. This one was different.

It was covered in hardened plates of armor, its grotesque form towering as it moved with an unsettling speed. And its face…it didn’t look like a normal titan. There was a sense of purpose behind its eyes, something more intelligent, more dangerous.

The soldiers on the ground shouted in panic as the titan charged toward the gate, its footsteps shaking the earth beneath them.

“It’s coming!” one of them screamed, his voice breaking. “Close the gates, now!”

But the titan didn’t slow down. It surged forward, faster than any of them could have anticipated, and with a deafening crash, it slammed into the inner wall. The force was enough to obliterate the soldiers in its path, sending debris flying in all directions, and the massive gates crumpled beneath the impact.


“It’s over…” Someone whispered as they held their head in their hands.

“We’re all gonna be eaten by the titans..”

 

Dazai didn’t respond. He couldn’t.

Instead, an overwhelming anger surged through him. A burning, suffocating frustration that twisted in his chest. His mind raced, haunted by images of Odasaku—his smile, his laugh, their last moments together. The warmth they had shared. The bond that had been ripped away in an instant.

Why did he always complain about the curry? Why didn’t he stay with Odasaku? Why wasn’t Odasaku here, now?

Why couldn’t Dazai lift that beam…?

The thoughts came crashing down like waves. His chest tightened, suffocating him.

A silent tear slipped from his eye.

Then, he chuckled, a hollow, bitter laugh that felt strange even to his own ears. It broke the silence around them, and Atsushi and Kyouka looked at him with alarm, their eyes wide in worry.

“Of course...why didn’t I think of this sooner?” Dazai whispered, his smile cold and empty. He turned his gaze away from them, his voice low. “It’s because we humans...are weak. We can’t do anything against the titans. They’re the ones who have power over us.”

He let out a slow, shuddering breath, as if trying to release the suffocating weight of his own words. The silence hung between them, thick with tension.

“Atsushi,” he said suddenly, his voice sharp, pulling the younger boy’s attention.

Atsushi jumped, his eyes wide. “Uh, yeah?”

Dazai turned to him, his expression unreadable, eyes burning with a dark resolve. “Do you still want to join the Survey Corps?” 

Atsushi hesitated, his breath catching in his throat. “I...I do.” he replied quietly, his voice steady but unsure.

Dazai nodded, his expression unreadable as he turned away. “Then I’m coming with you.”

Kyouka and Atsushi froze, eyes wide with disbelief. “W-What?! But…!”

“Those things took away my home.” Dazai cut him off, his voice low and cold. “Who cares if I die? Who cares if I’m eaten alive? It doesn’t matter anymore.”

He turned back to face them, his gaze dark and hollow, yet burning with an unrelenting fire. “But one thing’s for sure. I’ll make those bastards regret ever stepping foot into this world. I’ll give them hell until they wish they never existed.”

A bitter smile curled on his lips as he took a step forward. “I’m going to kill every titan, no matter how long it takes. And when I do, trust me when I say, the whole world will know my name.”

 

”…Then I’m joining too.” Kyouka whispered.

Atsushi and Dazai both turned to her in surprise.

Kyouka’s eyes were steady, a quiet determination in her voice. “If you’re going to take them down, I’m not staying behind.” She clenched her fists, her resolve clear. “I’ll fight too. For Oda-san...for all of us.”

 

Dazai looked at her, his gaze softening for a moment before he nodded. Taking her hand gently, he spoke with quiet conviction, “Then we’ll do it. All three of us.”

“Together.”


TWO YEARS LATER

“We will now begin the enlistment ceremony for the 104th Trainee Corps.”

A man stepped forward, his expression firm and unyielding. “I am Fukuzawa Yukichi, and I will be the one to train you all.”

Fukuzawa’s gaze swept over the gathered recruits, his sharp eyes assessing each one. The atmosphere was heavy with anticipation, and the young trainees stood in silence, nervous but determined.

“Right now, all of you are nothing but cattle, fit only to be Titan food.” he said coldly. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“But in the three years that we train you, we’ll turn you into soldiers.” He took a step forward, eyes piercing. “We’ll give you the means to fight the Titans. So, when you face one head-on, will you remain Titan food? Or will you stand tall like a noble wall, shielding the king?”

“The choice is yours.”

 

Fukuzawa scanned the front row of cadets, his eyes observant and calculating as he walked between them. When he stopped in front of Atsushi, his gaze narrowed, taking in every detail.

“You there.” Fukuzawa said, his voice steady but commanding.

Atsushi blinked, taken by surprise. Instinctively, he placed his right fist over his chest and his left arm behind his back. “Sir!” he replied, standing at attention.

“Who are you?” Fukuzawa asked.

“Atsushi Nakajima, from Shiganshina, sir!” Atsushi replied without hesitation.

Fukuzawa stepped closer, looming over him with an intensity that made Atsushi’s heart race. “And what’s your purpose for being here?”

Atsushi swallowed hard but stood tall. “Trying to aid humanity’s victory, sir!” he said, his voice firm despite the nerves gnawing at him.

Fukuzawa’s eyes hardened, his voice cutting through the air. “The only thing you’ll be good for is titan food.” He turned sharply and moved past Atsushi, his boots echoing as he walked to the next row.


Stopping in front of another cadet, Fukuzawa’s piercing gaze locked onto him. “What’s your name?”

The cadet didn’t flinch. “Buichirō Shirase, from Trost!” he replied confidently.

Fukuzawa’s eyebrows furrowed slightly. “Tell me, Mr. Shirase, what’s your reason for being here?”

Shirase hesitated for a moment before a sheepish smile appeared on his face. “To join the Military Police, and live a comfortable life deep within the walls.”

A tense silence fell over the group. All eyes were on Shirase, the cadets stiffening at his answer.

Fukuzawa’s gaze sharpened, the corner of his lips curling into a slight, almost imperceptible smirk. “Is that so? You want to live deep within the interior, huh?”

Shirase nodded eagerly. “Yes, sir!”


PUNCH!

Suddenly, Fukuzawa delivered a sharp punch to Shirase’s gut. The cadet crumpled to the floor, gasping for air and groaning in pain.

“Get up, soldier.” Fukuzawa barked, his tone harsh. “If you can’t handle a simple punch, then you’ll never make it in the Military Police. You’ll never survive in this world.”

Shirase struggled to push himself up, wincing as he forced his body to stand. His eyes were filled with a mix of anger and embarrassment.

Fukuzawa turned and strode away from Shirase without another glance, stopping in front of a young girl standing stiffly at attention. He fixed her with the same unyielding stare.

Meanwhile, not far from the training grounds, a group of Military Police soldiers stood watching the scene unfold, their expressions a mix of nostalgia and quiet amusement. One of them smirked, crossing his arms as he leaned against a post.

“Takes you back to your cadet days, doesn’t it?” he said, nudging the man next to him.

His companion chuckled, shaking his head. “Yeah, back when we thought surviving training was the hardest part.”

Another tilted his head, frowning slightly. “Though, I never really got the whole ‘beat them down until they piss their pants’ thing. What’s the point?”

The older man smiled faintly, his gaze fixed on the recruits. “It’s to strip them of their humanity, so to speak. We force them to abandon who they are, break them down to nothing, and then rebuild them as soldiers—pure and unyielding.”

“It’s a necessary process.” He added.

The younger man hummed thoughtfully, his gaze drifting toward the trainees as Fukuzawa passed over a few without a word. His brows furrowed, “And what about them? Why didn’t he stop for those ones?”

The older man’s expression darkened. “Those few…” he murmured, “They’ve already lost themselves. They’ve stared death in the face. You can see it in their eyes—there’s nothing left to break.”

“Is that so?”

The older soldier nodded solemnly before turning away. “Come on. Time to go. Wouldn’t want to disturb diamonds in the rough.” he said, gesturing for the younger man to follow. They walked away without another word, their footsteps fading into the distance as the ceremony continued.

 

Fukuzawa walked up to a young boy, “Who are you?” He asked sternly.

The boy startled, fumbling for a heartbeat before quickly raising his left fist against his chest in a crisp salute. “Tanizaki Junichiro, from Ragako Village, Wall Rose South District, sir!” he announced, his voice clear though tinged with nerves.

“You’re doing it wrong.” Fukuzawa said.

Junichiro blinked, confusion spreading across his face. “Uh, pardon?”

Fukuzawa’s expression didn’t change. “The salute,” he repeated, his tone calm but cutting. “You’re doing it wrong.”

The boy’s eyes darted down to his own posture, panic creeping in. “U-U-Uhh…!” he stammered, his voice shaking as he imagined the worst. His mind raced with fear about what Fukuzawa might do to him after what happened with the Shirase guy.

Fukuzawa took a slow, deliberate step forward, his expression unreadable as he opened his mouth to speak—


Crunch!

Fukuzawa paused as the crunch echoed in the air. The entire formation froze, breaths held in collective disbelief.

Slowly, he turned toward the source of the sound. A young girl with short blonde hair stood in the middle of the row, chewing hurriedly on a potato. She didn’t seem to notice that every gaze had snapped to her.

She took another bite.


Crunch!

“You there.” Fukuzawa said, his voice dangerously low.

The girl finally glanced up, her mouth still full of potato. She blinked, chewing slowly as if to savor the taste.

“Yes, sir?” she replied innocently.

“What,” he asked, his voice as sharp as a blade, “do you think you’re doing?”

She swallowed, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, and held up the half-eaten potato. “Eating, sir.”

A muscle in Fukuzawa’s jaw twitched. “Why?”

The girl tilted her head thoughtfully, as if the question required deep contemplation. “Because I was hungry, sir.”

The cadets held their breath, waiting for the explosion.

Fukuzawa’s gaze hardened, his jaw tightening as he took a step closer, “And you thought now, of all times, was the right moment to eat a potato?”

The girl blinked up at him, her eyes widening as she seemed to realize her mistake. “T-That’s not it at all, sir! But…it just seemed like such a waste to let it go cold.”

The air went silent for a moment, everyone frozen in uncertainty, unsure of what to say next.

The girl, feeling the weight of Fukuzawa's gaze still lingering on her, hesitated. Then, with a sigh, she broke her potato in two. Holding out one half toward him, she knew that she was fucked but, it was worth a try. “Would you…like to share with me, sir?” she asked, her voice quiet but steady.

Fukuzawa’s eyes narrowed slightly, his expression unreadable. The cadets around her were holding their breath, watching, waiting for his reaction. He took the potato, “…Half?” He said.

The girl smiled wearily.

She’s fucked.


“Oh man, look at her go.” Tanizaki commented, watching as the girl, who they learned was named Higuchi, ran her 100th lap.

Atsushi frowned, “Five straight hours. Was he serious about that?”

Tanizaki shrugged, “I mean, probably.” He said, “Seriously, what was she thinking? Eating at a place like that…”

Just then, something catches Atsushi’s eye. He paused. “What’s that?” He asked, looking up at the moving carriage.

“The dropouts.” Tanizaki responded, “They requested a transfer, to the frontier.”

Atsushi blinked in surprise. “What? But, it’s only the first day…”

Tanizaki nodded, watching the carriage as it slowly moved away. “Yeah, but some people just can’t handle it. The pressure, the constant training—it’s too much for them.” He said, “They’d rather run off to the frontier than push through like the rest of us.”

Atsushi watched the carriage for a moment longer, his expression thoughtful. “I guess your right…” 

A younger boy, Kenji, who’s around Kyouka’s age, suddenly perked up. “By the way, Atsushi-kun. You said that you came from Shiganshina, right?” He asked.

Atsushi turned to Kenji, surprised by the question. “Yeah, that’s right.” he replied, his tone steady but laced with a faint sadness. 

Kenji stepped forward, his voice dropping slightly in awe. “Then, did you see what the Colossal titan looked like?”

“H-Hey…!” Tanizaki tried to stop him.

Atsushi’s throat tightened. He swallowed hard, trying to push past the lump of fear that still gripped him even after all this time. “…Yeah,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. “I saw it. But my brother, Dazai, he’s the one who saw the titans up close.”

Tanizaki raised an eyebrow. “Your brother? I didn’t know you had one.”

Atsushi nodded, a faint but fond smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Yeah. My older brother and little sister joined with me.”

Both boys’ eyes widened in surprise.“Seriously?!” Tanizaki exclaimed. “Both of them? Which ones??”

Atsushi scratched the back of his neck nervously. “The one with a bandage on his right eye is Dazai, and Kyouka is the one with bluish hair.”

The two boys glanced at each other, then back at Atsushi, their eyes alight with curiosity.

“Can we talk to your brother?” Kenji asked eagerly, practically bouncing on his heels.


“Dazai-san, please tell us! What did it look like?” one of the cadets pressed, leaning eagerly over the table where Dazai sat, eating in silence.

Dazai furrowed his brows, irritation flickering across his face. He took another bite of his food, pointedly ignoring them.

Atsushi frowned slightly, watching his brother from a distance. Ever since that day, Dazai had been different. For starters, he hadn’t taken the bandage off his right eye—not even once.

But it wasn’t just his eye; Dazai had become more closed off, more distant. He barely took care of himself anymore—he wasn’t eating properly, his clothes were often disheveled, and there was a dullness in his eyes that Atsushi had never seen before.

But what bothered Atsushi the most were the words Dazai said. His jokes.

Dazai always spoke about dying and committing suicide, like it was a casual topic—like it didn't matter. He'd laugh about it, brush it off, but Atsushi knew better. He knew that kind of joking wasn't normal. It wasn’t something a person with hope for the future would say. It gnawed at Atsushi's mind, making him uneasy. He didn't know how to help his brother, how to break through that wall Dazai had put up—ever since that day.

Every time Dazai made one of those jokes, Atsushi felt a pang in his chest, a fear that was growing steadily. A fear that one day, Dazai’s jokes wouldn’t be jokes anymore. And Atsushi might never be able to save him.

Another cadet persisted, their curiosity undeterred. “Come on! You were there, weren’t you? You must’ve seen it up close!”


More silence.

The chatter around the table grew awkward, the other cadets unsure of whether to continue pestering Dazai or back off.

Shirase sighed in irritation, he sat up, “Just forget about this guy. He’s obviously lying.”

 

The room went silent, the tension thick as no one dared to defend Dazai.

Suddenly, the soft clink of Dazai's utensils hitting the plate broke the stillness. He looked up at Shirase, a small, almost mocking smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“You really want to know what titans are like, huh?” Dazai mused, his voice eerily calm. “Alright then, picture this: a fifteen-foot giant, with teeth as large as tree trunks suddenly comes after you. Their faces are vacant, but there's always this twisted, wide smile. They don't care about your family, your friends, or your life. They only yearn for your blood. No matter how fast you run, no matter how strong you are, they'll catch you. No matter what.” He leaned forward, looking Shirase straight in the eye. “And, forgive my offense but, you don’t look like a fast runner.”

Shirase bristled, grabbing Dazai by the collar and pulling him roughly from his seat. Dazai, unfazed, met Shirase’s eyes with a calm and almost bored expression, his smirk still playing on his lips.

“What the hell did you just say to me?!” Shirase spat, his grip tightening on Dazai’s collar.

Dazai’s voice remained unshaken, his tone dripping with nonchalance. “I said you don’t look like a fast runner.” he repeated, eyes glinting with amusement. “But don’t worry, I’m sure the titans will give you a nice head start. That way, at least you'll die with some dignity.”

Shirase’s eyes narrowed, rage flickering in them. He pulled his fist back, throwing a punch toward Dazai.

Dazai barely moved, sidestepping the attack effortlessly, before grabbing Shirase’s wrist mid-swing. He twisted the arm with a swift motion, sending Shirase crashing to the ground with a grunt. The cadet winced, unable to move as Dazai applied pressure, keeping him pinned beneath him.

Shirase’s breath hitched as he felt the pressure of Dazai’s grip threatening to break his arm. The sharp pain shot through him, his arm trembling under the force.

Dazai's expression remained eerily calm as he leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. “Maybe I should break your arm to teach you a lesson. Do you think the Military Police would take you in after that?” His smile was cold and cruel.

Shirase groaned, trying to squirm beneath Dazai’s hold, but the pressure was overwhelming. His arm burned with pain, his vision blurring, and his chest tightened under Dazai’s weight.

Before Dazai could do anything further, the cabin door creaked open. He heard a sharp intake of breath, then—


PUNCH!

Dazai was sent stumbling back, his grip on Shirase loosening as he held his throbbing cheek. He fell to the ground, shocked by the sudden assault.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, you bandaged freak?!” a voice shouted, furious.

Dazai blinked, his eyes narrowing as he slowly turned his head, trying to steady himself.

His gaze landed on the newcomer—standing near a recovering Shirase, who was being consoled by a pink-haired girl. The boy’s fiery red hair contrasted sharply with his sharp features, his expression a mixture of anger and disbelief. Despite the sting on his cheek, a smirk tugged at the corners of Dazai’s lips.

“And you are?” he asked, tilting his head with exaggerated curiosity.

The boy pursed his lips, his eyebrows furrowing in annoyance. “None of your damn business.” he spat. “Now tell me why the hell you were about to break my friend’s arm?!”

Dazai’s smirk only grew wider. “He started it, didn’t he?” he said, turning the question toward Shirase, who looked away, a flash of embarrassment crossing his face.

The red-haired boy’s glare flickered between Dazai and Shirase for a moment, before he sighed and relaxed his posture slightly. He moved to help Shirase up, his voice laced with frustration. “You fucking idiot…” he muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

Atsushi also moved to help Dazai up, but Dazai brushed him off, pushing himself to his feet. The red-haired boy turned back to Dazai, his glare unwavering. “If I catch you picking on my friends again, I’ll beat the shit out of you, you hear?” he spat, his voice full of fire.

Dazai smiled, wiping the blood that ran down from his mouth. “We’ll see about that.” he said, his voice calm and dripping with amusement.

And so, the rivalry had begun.

The red-haired boy turned on his heel, his friends following suit. The pink-haired girl shot Dazai a spiteful glance before sticking her tongue out at him.

Dazai rolled his eyes and shrugged. “Bitch,” he muttered under his breath, turning away and heading in the opposite direction.

The cadets stood in stunned silence, exchanging uncertain glances. The air was thick with the tension of what had just transpired.


Meanwhile…

Higuchi laid sprawled on the ground, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she gasped for air, her legs sore from the grueling laps. Sweat dripped down her face, mixing with the dirt from the ground, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

“Finally finished...” she muttered between heavy breaths, her stomach rumbling loudly. God, she was so hungry.

Just then, she heard footsteps approaching in the darkness, the soft thud of boots against the ground growing closer.

A figure stopped just in front of her, holding something wrapped in cloth. Higuchi blinked, struggling to catch her breath. "Who...?" she started to ask, but her voice was weak, barely more than a whisper.

The girl in front of her looked to be around Higuchi's age. Her long, black hair shimmered faintly in the low light, flowing like silk. She crouched down beside Higuchi, her gaze soft and understanding.

"You look like you could need this." the girl said, offering the wrapped cloth toward her.

Curious but too exhausted to ask any more questions, Higuchi reached out slowly and took the cloth, unwrapping it to reveal a bundle of freshly made rice balls. Her stomach growled louder at the sight, the savory aroma making her mouth water.

The girl sat down beside her, “Brought you some food.” she said quietly. “You’ve been at it for hours. You deserve a break.”

Higuchi’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise. She hungrily took a bite, her eyes immediately watering from the relief. "T... Thank you...so much...!" she sobbed, her voice cracking. "I-I thought I was gonna die!"

The girl smiled slightly, she took out some water, handing it to Higuchi. “You should drink some water as well.” She says.

Higuchi gratefully accepted the water, her hands shaking slightly as she took a long, satisfying drink. She wiped her mouth afterward, her eyes still bright with tears of relief. But as the exhaustion hit her all at once, she felt her consciousness slipping, the weight of her tiredness overwhelming her. Before she could say another word, she passed out, collapsing against the girl’s lap in a deep, exhausted sleep.

The girl sat there quietly, adjusting her position to support Higuchi, her expression softening as she carefully brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"Goodnight." she whispered, her voice barely audible in the calm of the night.

 

As the evening drew to a close, the air settled into a comforting stillness. The boys and girls were getting settled into their separate cabins, the soft murmur of quiet conversations drifting through the cool night air.

And of course, there was—

 

“No.” Chuuya said, crossing his arms and giving Dazai a glare that could melt steel. “There’s no way in hell that I’m sharing my bed with this fucker.”

Dazai scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Your bed? You don’t own them. Besides, it’s bunk beds. I wouldn’t even be touching you.” He paused, his smirk widening. “Unless, of course, you wanted me to.”

Chuuya’s eye twitched, his already short patience wearing thin. “Don’t tempt me, bastard. I’ll kick you out onto the floor myself.”

Dazai smiled, raising his hands in a mock surrender. “Sorry, sorry…” he chuckled, clearly enjoying the frustration he was causing.

Another boy stepped in—Tachihara. "Oh, come on, Chuuya! Please just do this one thing," he begged, holding out his hands in a pleading gesture. "Nobody else will take the bed, and you’re the only one with a spare space left!"

Chuuya’s glare shifted to Tachihara, the irritation in his expression only deepening. “You’re seriously asking me to share a bed with him? After everything?”

Tachihara hesitated, then nodded sheepishly. "It’s for the greater good, Chuuya! Think of it as a special bonding experience. Get to know each other! Who knows? Maybe you’ll become friends?" He gave a hopeful grin.

Dazai, clearly entertained by the ongoing chaos, raised his hand in false pledge. “I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise. No touching.” he teased, his grin wide.

Chuuya shot him a glare, but Tachihara’s reasoning was hard to argue with. He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Fine. But if he so much as touches my side of the bed, I’ll—”

“You’ll what?” Dazai interrupted, smirking innocently. “Kick me out? I’m so scared.”

Chuuya shot Dazai a warning glare before sitting down on the bed with a huff. “Just keep your distance, alright?” He muttered, turning his back to Dazai, trying to relax despite the situation.

Dazai nodded with mock seriousness, climbing up the ladder to the top bunk. He settled against the slightly hard mattress, crossing his arms behind his head.

Tachihara gave Chuuya a quick thumbs up for good luck before leaving him and Dazai alone.

The door clicked shut, and the room was left in silence. But that silence didn’t last long.

“When the darkness fades…~”

“And the sunset’s left…~” Dazai sang softly, his voice sweetly off-key, drifting through the stillness.

Chuuya blinked, irritation flashing across his face. “God damn it.”

“And there’s no one left to hold you—”

“Shut the hell up!” Chuuya whispered-shouted, gritting his teeth. “Now’s so not the time to be singing!”

Dazai smirked, peeking his head over the edge of the bunk to look at Chuuya, his eyes wide with mock innocence. “But, Chuuya~, this is the only memory I have left of my dead mother!” he whined, dramatically clutching his chest. “She used to sing to me… before… before the titans turned her into a snack.” He sniffed, adding a fake sob for effect.

Chuuya blinked, taken aback, his eyes flashing with a brief flicker of guilt. “Wait… You’re serious?” he asked, his tone softening, guilt creeping into his voice. “Shit, I didn’t mean—”

“Just kidding!” Dazai chirped, grinning ear to ear.

Chuuya threw a pillow at him.

“Owieee!!” Dazai cried dramatically, leaning back against his bed, clutching his forehead as though he’d been struck by an arrow. “You hurt me, Chuuya~”

Chuuya huffed in frustration, choosing to ignore Dazai as he closed his eyes, hoping for some peace at least for a few minutes.

But Dazai had other plans.

“…Oh my darling, I’ll be there.”

Chuuya groaned loudly, his patience already stretched thin. “I swear to God, Dazai, if you sing one more note, I’ll—”

“I’ll hold you till’ the end~” Dazai continued, completely unfazed.

Chuuya was done. He threw the covers over his head and curled up into a tight ball, determined to shut out Dazai’s antics.

Dazai’s voice, however, remained persistent, echoing through the room.

“When there’s nothing left…”

“Cause, I… Loveee… Youuuu…~”

Chuuya let out a strangled growl, holding the pillow tight over his face as if blocking out Dazai’s voice might somehow bring him peace. “…I’m going to kill you one day, just you wait.” He muttered, hoping that Dazai would hear him.

Dazai smiled at that, his voice dripping with amusement. “I’ll hold you up to it,” he teased, his grin practically audible as he leaned back against his bunk.

Notes:

Poor Higuchi, being reduced to potato girl.

Character official ages;

Dazai • 14

Chuuya • 14

Atsushi • 12

Kyouka • 10

Shirase • 14

Yuan • 13

Tanizaki • 13

Higuchi • 14

Gin • 14

Kenji • 12

Tachihara • 14

Notes:

This story will not be following the original canon of AOT btw! (Canon events will happen but the relationships and the chosen titan shifters will be sorta mixed)