Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Grant Ward’s PoV:

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My alarm clocks screeches. I groan as I rub the sleep from my eyes with my forefinger and thumb. 5:30am, my clock reads. The sun has not yet risen. Groggily, I roll over into my right side to escape the street lights piercing through the window. I hope for a couple more hours of rest, even though I know it is useless. Ever since I arrived at the Dauntless faction, I find my internal sleep clock has been set to 5:30am. Silently, I curse myself before my thoughts wander elsewhere; to the events that are soon to unfold. Today is the day. The day that every sixteen year old from each faction go through the aptitude test. To determine which faction they belong to best. Today is the day some lives may be changed forever, abandoning their old families to begin a new life in a new faction.

Faction before blood.

I roll my eyes at the mere thought of it. I don’t believe it. To force young adolescents to sever all ties with their families seems cruel to me. To put it all behind them is unimaginable. I wish I had known what it was like. Leaving my family behind wasn’t a choice. It was an escape route. I don’t regret it.

Realizing sleep won’t come again, I decide to prepare for another day of torturing future initiates. Another day of having to look at Christian’s ugly mug. His cocky smirk alone is enough to make any initiate beg to be factionless. He may be my brother, but I’m glad that I have the power to wipe it off his face. It never used to be like that, but I’m glad he is now scared of me. Most people should be.

He may have been a puny Stiff back in the day, but he could be anyone’s worst nightmare. He just happens to be mine. I’m suspicious of him; always have been. Then again, I’m suspicious of people in general. I can never trust them and I expect the worst. Christian happens to be the worst of his kind. Although, he may act as Dauntless, I believe that he is more Erudite, through and through. He has always been cunning, but pair that with the ruthlessness of Dauntless and it becomes a dangerous combination. I know that he is using his cunningness to put himself in Whitehall’s favour. To make himself appear superior. There is something he knows that I don’t and I intend to find out.

I’ve discovered a way into the top secret files of Dauntless. And I’ve discovered files sent by Erudite. War plans. Plans for a new experiment. But what for?

Faint light begins to flow into the room and I watch as rays of gold dance across the bed sheets. I take it as a sign of Mother Nature urging me to get up. I roll out of bed and head towards the bathroom, fighting the grogginess. The air feels warm; a sign of summer approaching. I wince as the cold bathroom tiles sting my feet. It sends chills up my spine as I turn on the tap. With each splash of water on my face, I feel stronger. It wipes any and all emotions I may show. The tattooed flames of Dauntless creep out above the neckline of my black shirt. It is a fire that will never go out, a permanent reminder.

People believe that I am amazing; that I can do anything. Yet, however hard I try, I never feel strong enough. I am not worth this faction. I am nothing but a coward. The weak boy from Abnegation.

I can’t look weak. I can’t. I am a survivor.

I briefly glance at the mirror, trying to avoid my eyes. Everytime I look, I hate myself. I hate who I was and who I have become. My father follows me wherever I go, no matter how hard I want him to stop haunting me. To leave me be.

I crack my knuckles, trying to distract my mind from reaching too deep. Some things are meant to stay buried. I rub the stubble on my face, feeling too lazy to do anything about it. Sighing, I head back into my bedroom. There’s still a bit of Stiff in me that urges me to make me bed each morning. I have tried to no avail to tame it. After all, I’m not so Dauntless as to be selfish enough to neglect my responsibilities.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Daisy Johnson’s PoV:

I step calmly through the packed crowd of students. It is almost time. Aptitude tests are today. Today, my life could change forever. What will I get? I do not know, but I am not sure if I want to.

I lean my head onto Myles shoulder. My brother is shaking slightly, I can feel it. He is afraid. I reach over and grip his hand.

“What do you think you’ll get?” He lifts his head to look down into my soft brown eyes. They are unlike his hard hazel ones.

“I-I don’t know….I hope to stay here, to help mother. If anything else, I would wish it to be Erudite. Though our faction dislikes it so much.”

I simply nod, understanding. My brother is selfless and smart. I am not sure where he could fit in, other than here in Abnegation or in Erudite. We are very much unlike each other and I often wonder if we are even blood related.

“I may not be much of a fan of our faction...but follow your heart. You shouldn’t have a problem.”

I smile encouragingly at him. He merely nods, but the nerves are still there. I gather my hair together and pull an elastic over it, into a ponytail. I decide to think about my options. Candor is a no-go for me. I have heard about their initiation and I couldn’t bear it. Honesty was never something I enjoyed; especially when it comes to spilling secrets about myself. I would rather be factionless. Amity could be a possibility. I may fit into it. I highly doubt I belong in Erudite. Yet the possibility is there. I did hack into the security systems numerous times. It doesn’t seem like the right fit though. Science and smarts was never my thing. Abnegation, though I feel guilty for thinking it, sounds utterly boring. I have never been truly selfless like my family. I would never last long. Dauntless sounds fun, although terrifying. Their initiation is the hardest, with many new initiates not making it. But seeing how the Dauntless students are fearless enough to climb up to the school roof or how they leap off the fast-moving train to get here, is intriguing.

I smile to myself. Dauntless. Maybe that’s a place I could call home. A place to belong. Reaching the cafeteria, Myles and I grab a seat at the Abnegation table. I prop an elbow up and listen to the other Abnegation students discuss classes. I wonder if conversation in Dauntless would be more exciting than this. I glance over at their table, where various students talk, laugh and seem to be telling exciting stories. I smile. Perhaps Dauntless is where I belong.

I am jolted from my thoughts as students’ names begin to be called; two from each faction at a time. I calmly sit and wait for my name to be called, picking at the dirt under my nails.

“Myles and Daisy Johnson from Abnegation.”

A speaker calls. My stomach feels like one giant knot...twisted and turned. I stand and begin to walk towards one of the doors. My legs are shaky, but I try my best to hide it. I take a deep breath. Well, here goes nothing.

Chapter Text

Daisy

Upon entering the test room, I stop and stare at the mirrors around me. I am taken aback at my appearance. Gray. It’s all I can see covering myself from head to toe. Yet, it does little to hide my scrawny, frail body. The Abnegation in me screams. I should be ashamed at myself for glancing at myself in the mirrors. But I don’t. I am in awe.

A gruff throat clearing wakes me from my thoughts. I draw a shaky breath and turn towards the sound of the voice. It’s a woman. A Dauntless woman who is as severe-looking as most of the ones that I have seen. She is short, but looks as though she could knock a grown man to his feet. Fit too, with dark hair and eyes. I wouldn’t be lying if I said I am intimidated by her. It is only when she turns to gesture me towards the freaky looking dentist chair in the center of the room that I notice a tattoo on the back of her neck. A black and white eagle. If I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up, I would ask her what it signifies. It must mean something.

I gulp and panic rises when I approach the chair.

“Don’t worry,” the woman faintly smiles, “it doesn’t hurt.”

I simply nod.

“Grab a seat and get comfortable,” she says, “ My name is May.”

I sit in the chair and lay my head on the head rest. Forced to close my eyes as the light hurts, I listen to May busy herself with the machine on my right, attaching various wires to me and herself.

“Why the eagle?” I blurt out. I internally smack myself. Good going Daisy.

“Funny...never met a curious Abnegation before.” She smirks. Seeing my shiver slightly she whispers, “Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.” Phew.

She presses an electrode to my forehead. Okay, so not much of a talker. As I am about to drift off into my thoughts once again, May speaks up.

“It is said that the bald eagle symbolizes power, strength, and freedom. Back when I got this, I figured that it would be a permanent reminder that strength comes in all shapes and sizes. That strength can be found even in the weakest of moments.”

Curiosity overcomes me and I can’t help myself from asking another question. “Are you afraid of being weak?”

“I was,” she states. “Now it reminds me of what I’ve overcome.” She finishes her task and hands me a vial of clear liquid.

“Drink this.”

“What is this?” I am hesitant and panic rises in my voice.

“It won’t kill you if that’s what you’re worried about. Trust me. It’s safe.”

I swallow hard and tip the contents into my mouth. My eyes close. I gasp as the room changes around me. I appear to be standing in the middle of the cafeteria. It is empty apart from the single table sitting in front me. It has two baskets on it and I narrow my eyes as I approach it. Inside one is a large knife. In the other is a large piece of meat.

I am puzzled and hear a voice say sternly. “Choose.”

I frown and look around for the source, not finding one. The voice repeats itself, louder and firmer. “CHOOSE.”

“Okay, okay. Take it easy,” I grumble and hastily grab the knife. I must need to defend myself. The table disappears along with the baskets. That’s when I see it. A large dog, growling and coming towards me, fast. I suddenly understand what each of the items were for. I gulp and shut my eyes. Please don’t make me do this. I suddenly regret my decision. I should have chosen the meat. I sigh, mentally preparing myself. Better get this over with. I open my eyes and reach down to set the knife on the ground on the ground. If the dog feels intimidated, it could attack. I remember this from one of my classes.

“Okay boy...good boy. See? I don’t want to hurt you.”

The dog stops, but continues to growl. Before I can speak another word, the dog lunges. I am slammed to the ground. Stupid me. I curse myself. I try to shove the dog off me, but to no avail. He snarls and aims for my throat. I scream as my arm meets teeth. He bites down, hard.

Where did that knife go? I spot it just mere inches from my left hand. I struggle and squirm in an attempt to release the dog’s hold, but he is unrelenting. Fear overcomes me and my heart races. I have to shut my eyes. I’m going to die. I have to focus, steady my breathing. The dog yelps and I feel his weight lift off me. Power. Such raw power. I feel as though a million swarms of bees are floating through my body. I smirk. It feels wonderful. But how is this happening?

I hear the dog whimper. Who’s on top of the food chain now, poochy? I chuckle and set him down gently. He regains his footing, but it isn’t long before he snarls and lunges yet again. This time I am ready. I sprint towards the knife and hold it out as the dog pounces. With a loud yelp, he slumps to the floor. Blood pouring out.

"My puppy!” A girl cries out and appears over the dog. I am suddenly overcome with guilt and regret. I really should have chosen the meat. No...it was me or the dog. So much for Abnegation. I wipe the already forming tears from my eyes and proceed to comfort the girl. To apologize.

“Stay away!” She screams.

“But..I…”

“I said stay away! You monster!”

I flinch and turn away from the girl. I want to run, to escape. The room dissolves around me and I find myself standing in a bus. It jerks suddenly and I grab onto the pole in the bus aisle to steady myself. Beside me, a man is reading a newspaper. I glance over and read the headline: Man Found Dead. Murderer Caught On Site. I recognize the man in the photo, but at the same I don’t. The man looks up at me.  

“Do you know him?” The man asks, tapping the photo of the murderer. I frown. I am not Candor. I can lie.

“No, I don’t.”

“Are you sure?” The man questions.

“Positive.” I say, looking away.

“Liar.” He glares and throws the newspaper on the ground. I take in a quick breath as he stands up and gets in my face. “You could have saved me!” He shouts, hurting my ears.

“I did not lie. I do not know that man.” I stubbornly reply.

“You are the reason I am dead. You lying coward!!”

I clench my fist. I can feel it, the power flowing through my body. Before I can blink, the man is thrown against the wall. He tries to scramble away, but I aim my powers towards him, keeping him pinned down.

“I...I’m sorry. Please don’t hurt me….” he whimpers.

I am shocked. Stopping in my tracks, I hold up my hands and examine them. What is going on? Before I help the man up, the bus dissolves.

I am back in the chair. It’s over. May says nothing. No emotion shows on her face. She pinches her lips together and proceeds to detach all the wires. I sit forward and wipe my sweaty palms off on my pant legs. Had I done something wrong? Is the strange look on May’s face because I’m a monster like that girl said? It is killing me to know.

“That...was interesting.” She mentions. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back.”

Interesting?

I bury my face into my knees. Did I fail? How can you fail a test that you are unable to prepare for? Is it even possible? As the moments pass, I get more anxious. What if they tell me that I am not fit for any faction? I would have to become factionless. I can’t do that. To live separated from the most important thing in life; community. Without a faction, I would have no purpose, no reason to live. Shaking my head, I have to stay calm. After what feels like an eternity, the door opens and May walks back in.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” She looks tense and pale. “Daisy, your results were inconclusive.”

“Inconclusive?” I am confused.

“Typically, each stage of the stimulation eliminates one or more of the factions, but in your case, only two were eliminated.”

I stare at her. “Two?” My throat is tight, making it hard to talk.

“If you had shown distaste for the knife and selected the meat, the scenario would have changed to confirm your aptitude for Amity. That didn’t happen. So Amity is out.” May clears her throat. “The choices you made didn’t even allow Erudite to be ruled out as you used your wits to figure out a strategy. Same could be said with Candor, so I had to alter the simulation to put you on the bus. Your refusal for honesty ruled out Candor there. Don’t worry though, only Candor tell the truth in that one.”

I sigh. So maybe I’m not an awful person.

“However, there are still some problems.” Oh no.

“On the one hand, you chose the knife. You chose to fight and save yourself rather than the dog, which is Dauntless. But on the other, you felt regret and wanted to help both the girl and the man. Not a Dauntless response, but Abnegation.” She sighs. “Then there is the matter of what exactly happened in those simulations.”

I gulp. Definitely not good.

“I have no idea what to make of it.”

“Wait, so you have no idea?”

“Yes and no. You display equal aptitude for Abnegation, Dauntless and Erudite. People who get this result are…” She glances over her shoulder like she expects someone to appear behind her, “are called Divergent.”

Her tense and worried look returns. She walks around to the side of the chair and leans in close.

"Daisy...under no circumstances should you share this information. It is super important.”

I nod. “We aren’t suppose to.”

“No, this is different. I mean you should never share them with anyone, no matter what. Divergence is extremely dangerous. Understand?”

No, I don't understand. But I nod anyway. “Okay.” I stand up from the chair immediately feeling unsteady.

“I suggest that you go home. You have a lot of thinking ahead of you and waiting with everyone else will not help.”

“Wait, what about happened in the simulation? What the heck was that?” I need to know.

May glances behind her once again. “That is something you must never ever let people know about. You must keep it hidden, Daisy. If the wrong people were to find out it could lead to dire consequences. It is believed to be a rumour. That extrodinary people develop extrodinary abilities. Why? It is unknown. My guess is that it occurs when you find yourself under a lot of stress. It’s almost like a flight or fight response. All I know is that they call it Inhuman.”

I am stunned. “Daisy, it appears that you are one of those people.”

Me? Inhuman?

"What do I do?” I look at May, hoping for some comfort. Some guidance. “May, what does this all mean?”

"Keep it concealed. You must not let yourself be triggered by anything. You cannot let people know.”

I nod. “What about my brother Myles?”

"I’ll let him know. Say I sent you home sick due to side effects of the simulations.”

I can’t bare to look May in the eye as I leave the room. I can’t bare to think about what just occurred. I don’t even want to think about the Choosing Ceremony.

But it’s my choice now.

Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite.

Divergent.

Inhuman.

Chapter Text

Daisy

I decide to walk rather than take the bus. If I came home early, my father would definitely notice when he checks the logs at the end of the day and I really don’t feel like explaining what happened. I realize that I will have to intercept Myles before he decides to mention anything to our parents. But luckily, he is good at keeping secrets.

I walk in the middle of the road. Although it seems risky, vehicles tend to hug the curb, so it is generally safer here. Near the Abnegation neighbourhood, I can sometimes see places where the yellow lines used to be. We never have a use for them now since there are very few cars around. We have no need for stoplights either, so in many places, they dangle over the road like they might come crashing down any minute.

I can’t help but dwell on the thought of life a long time ago. What caused all this? In my history class, they taught us that a war had broken out within the old system and tons of people had died. As a result, they decided to divide everyone into separate factions to avoid conflict and to prevent history from repeating itself. But it doesn’t explain the walls that surround the city. Why do they keep us in here? Or more importantly, what is out there?

____________________

Ward

After tidying my room, I pull on a black shirt and pair of pants. For a second, my mind flashes to a different time. A time from before... from when I wasn’t Dauntless.

Today, exactly two years ago, I took my aptitude test. The memory is still crystal clear in my mind, even after all this time. I remember the anxiety, the fear. The indecision. I had no idea what to do. I chose Dauntless.

So many others will make the same decision, sealing their fates. Our society is comprised of five factions, which arose out of the impurities of a pre-existing system. Each faction believes differently about what caused the destruction of that system.

The Erudite blame ignorance. They value intelligence more than anything. I wouldn’t describe them all as super smart, though they like to believe they are. They have a never-ending thirst for knowledge and are always eager to obtain new information. They all wear blue. Particularly, blue business clothes. Sometimes, they even wear glasses. The majority of them don’t even need them, but stupid as it may seem, they probably believe the glasses make them look smarter. Yeah right.

The Candor blame dishonesty. Therefore, they value honesty and truth. But really they are just a bunch of assholes. They pride themselves with the fact that they don’t have a filter. They will say everything and anything on their minds, regardless of the consequences. Candor only wear black and white, symbolizing the straightforward black and white of our personalities. The balance between the good and the bad. They never shut up and I make sure to avoid them at all costs.

The Amity, well, they blame hostility and cruelty. As such, they highly value kindness. They live just outside the wall in a fenced-in area where they manage the farms that provide food for all the factions. They wear red and yellow. I haven’t had much experience with them over the years. They don’t tolerate the Dauntless and the only way to keep the peace between my faction and theirs is to have minimal contact.

Which brings me to Dauntless. They blame cowardice as the reason for the failure of the previous system. In turn, we value bravery. We only wear black. We have tattoos and piercings, and to be honest, act like idiots. But I see a beauty in our recklessness. A reason behind it. At least there used to be. Recently, Dauntless has been turning into something else that goes against the true virtues of Dauntless. The leaders are turning Dauntless into something cruel. Something wicked.

And then there’s Abnegation. They blame selfishness and thus, value selflessness. They strive to attract the least amount of attention as possible. Their attire consists of gray, baggy clothes that cover most of their skin. They always put others before themselves and dedicate their lives to the aid of the less fortunate.

A sharp pang shoots through my chest as I think about Abnegation. My throat becomes dry and I begin to feel a lump in my throat, which prevents me from swallowing. I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head. I must force these thoughts away. My head needs to be clear.

_________________

Daisy

As I turn left down a lonely street, my thoughts turn back to the present world-my world.

Renovations typically tend to move slowly through the city, which is a unique patchwork of new, cleaned buildings and old crumbling ones. They say that most of the new buildings are next to the marsh near the city center. Although I still like to think that the Erudite always receive renovations moreso than any faction. Damn superiors.

The Abnegation in me is screaming to feel sorry for my choice of words. I don’t. Erudite have always been stuck-up and know-it-alls. Many don’t even have a nice bone in their body. I dislike them. Especially ever since Victoria Hand came into power. My mother works for the Abnegation Volunteer Agency, which oversees the majority of renovations. Abnegation are selfless, putting all the others before themselves. As you’ve probably guessed it; it means Abnegation rarely ever receives a renovation.

Yet, when I look at the Abnegation lifestyle as an outsider, I believe it’s beautiful. When I watch my family and fellow Abnegation move in harmony, when they help strangers, aid the factionless, or even clean up after dinner parties; all without being asked, I fall in love with this life all over again. It is only when I try to live it myself that I have trouble. It never feels right. It’s a life that I cannot live.

But choosing a different faction means I forsake my family. Permanently.

____________________

Ward

I am startled with a loud banging on my door. I sigh in annoyance.

“It’s open!” I yell, which might not have been the smartest idea considering it could be anyone on the opposite side of the door. But I don’t bother to care. I can holf my own when needed.

Trip slams the door open and scans his eyes across the room until he finally spots me. “Well if it isn’t the grumpy beast himself.” He smirks and marches over to me.

I roll my eyes and heave a big sigh. “Trip.” I simply say.

“Guess what day it is big guy?!”

I recall what day it is. Trip and Bobbi were put in charge of training the Dauntless born initiates this year. While I happened to get stuck with Christian, of all people, for the next few weeks. I get the joy of watching him torture the transfers who have no idea what they signed up for. No idea that Christian loves nothing more than inflicting pain. He lives for it.

“Everything okay, Ward?” Trip asks me with concern written on his face.

“Yeah...yeah, I’m good.” I reply. I wish I was good.

“Alright,” he doesn’t bother to question my response. Trip can sense when I’m lying, but he knows not to pester me. Trip is good like that. We transferred together the same year. He was Amity, but craved a more exciting life than farming. I don’t blame him.

We decide to head down to dining hall to join the others for breakfast.

“I wonder who will be the first to jump,” Trip asks with a wide grin on his face. I always wonder how he manages to always be so cheerful.

“Probably another Dauntless born,” I reply. It’s the same routine every year. Another boring year.

“Whatever man, I just know that this is going to be one hell of a year,” he says dramatically, making motions with his hands.

“The year of what?” I have no idea what he is talking about.

“The year full of awesome things, awesome stuff, and awesomeness!”

“Your range of vocabulary would even make the stupidest Erudite seem smart.” I reply sarcastically.

“Just you wait, Ward. I’ll prove it right soon enough.” He punches me in the shoulder. I hide my wince from him.

“You know, I’m surprised that you weren’t the first to jump in our year, what with you ranking first and all.” Trip comments while raising his eyebrows at me.

I gulp and try to relax; I had been the third to jump, which I still consider pretty impressive, even with my fear. It was actually that moment when I discovered my strong dislike of heights. After learning the exact height of Dauntless headquarters, I realized I would have to bury that fear deep inside, even though it still terrifies me. I wish I could do the same with Garrett.

I simply shrug in response to Trip. As we enter into the dining hall, I spot the rest of our friends. I wave at them and head over to grab a seat. Just as I’m about to sit down, a voice shouts my name. What now? I groan. Glancing behind me, I notice it’s a Dauntless guard.

“Whitehall wants to see you in his office, right away.”

I nod. “I’ll catch up with you later.” I mention to Trip and the others before making my way to Whitehall’s office. What hell am I walking into now?

_______________________

Daisy

As I round a corner, I spot the factionless sector. It is nothing but the skeletons of buildings and broken sidewalks. Nothing else remains. In a few places, the road has completely collasped, revealing sewer systems and empty subway tunnels that I have to be careful to avoid. I am forced to plug my nose as the stink in some places is powerful. It’s enough to make anyone sick.

When an initiate fails to complete the initiation of a faction, they are cast out here. The lowest of the low. They live in poverty, doing the work that no one else would be caught dead doing. In return, they receive food and clothing. But as my mother says, it is never enough.

I spot a factionless man standing on the road ahead. He wears ragged brown clothing and his skin sags. He stares at me, I pretend not to notice and look away.

“Excuse me,” he says. His voice is raspy.” Do you have anything to eat?”

I feel a lump in my throat. A stern voice in my head says, Duck your head and keep walking. No. I shake my head. I should not be afraid of this man. He asked for help and I’m suppose to help him.

“Um...yes.” I say. I reach into my bag and pull out some carrot sticks. My father always encouraged me to carry extra food for situations such as this. The man reaches for them, but grabs my wrist instead. He smiled at me. He has a gap between his teeth and most of them are yellow.

“My, aren’t you a pretty girl,” he says. “Little young to be walking around out here on your own.”

My heart pounds. I tug my hand back, but he tightens his grip. I smell something putrid and unpleasant on his breath. He must be drunk.

I gulp and stand up straight. “I know I look young. I don’t need to be reminded. I’m older than I appear.” I retort with a glare. “I’m six-teen.”

“I’d watch your tone there girly,” he growls. “Ain’t no one here to rescue you if something were to happen.”

My heart races and I tug harder. “Let go of me!” I snap. The man flies backwards and lands on the ground. My jaw drops. I immediately look at my hand and the realization hits me. I did that. May was right. I have an extrodinary power and I just triggered it.

Oh no. I just used it on that man. He seen me. He seen it.

“You...you're one of those things!” he stammers. “Please, please don’t hurt me!”

“I...I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I reply, my heart is pounding in my head.

He looks at me and shoots a glare. “Don’t lie to me, girl.”

That’s when I notice it. A large burn mark covering one side of his neck. It stretches to his right ear. Did someone like me do that? If so, who?

I slowly approach him. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I apologize. “Let me help you.”

“No! Stay away!” He scoots further away. “I don’t any more trouble.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” I cry out.

“Just leave me alone freak! You’re nothing but a monster!”

I pause in my steps. Tears begin to form in my eyes. My heart is racing and my breathing is unsteady. I panic.

I run.

Chapter Text

The room is pitch black. It stinks. Hot and sticky with blood. I hear footsteps approaching as I grab a rag to wipe my hands. Stepping over a body, I approach the broken down door.

“Uh...sorry, sir….a man who claims to have spotted an inhuman is looking for you.” The young man explains, clearly out of breath. I smirk and crack my knuckles.

“What did I tell you about disturbing me Roberts? Unless that inhuman is linked to my daughter...I do not care.” I growl in response. Roberts gulps and squirms in his boots. It takes everything I have not to chuckle.

“I..uh..if it interests you..this inhuman-she made this guy go flying backward. Swept him right off his feet. When she ran off, there was apparently a small crater where she had been standing.”

“A small crater and flying backwards you say…?” Roberts merely nods. Could it be? Is it possible that my baby girl survived? That she is alive? I must find out. For her sake.

“Bring him in...I’ll hear what he has to say.” Pray for his sake it is worthwhile. I grumble under my breath. Roberts nods and turns to walk back down the hallway. I return to cleaning up the mess from my previous encounter.

Daddy is coming baby girl. Daddy is coming…

___________________________________________________________

Daisy

I arrive at the street near my house much earlier than anticipated. The encounter with the factionless man earlier had me freaked out. I didn’t--couldn’t stop running. I should have stayed and helped. My mother would scold me if she knew that I hadn’t, but I panicked. I had to get away, he seen too much. Luckily, for me, he never found out my name. But it makes me wonder just how many others are like me. Could Myles have these abilities? What about my parents?

According to my watch-which is the only adornment Abnegation allows-I have a few minutes before Myles will be home. I decide to grab a seat on the front steps of my house to catch my breath and wait.

If an outsider were to walk among the streets of the Abnegation sector, they would easily notice that our houses are all the exact same size and shape. Made of gray cement with few windows, there is no extravagance present. Although the sight may appear gloomy to some, I see the simplicity as comforting. The other factions tend to interpret the simplicity as a disdain for uniqueness, however, it isn’t true. Everything is meant to help us forget ourselves. To protect us from greed, jealousy, vanity, and desire which are all forms of selfishness. If we all look and dress the same, it causes little to no problems to arise. If we have little and want for little, we are all equal. There is no envy.

I try to love it. But part of me wants more.

I feel the buzzing within my fingers and I can’t help but crack a smile. To know that I am capable of such power is freeing. I feel alive.

I’m awoken from my fantasy when the sound of laughter fills the air. I spot gray-robed figures walking down the street. While at school, we do our best to not draw attention to ourselves. We simply go unnoticed. But once we’re home, the fun and laughter begins. Although my tendency towards sarcasm still faces disdain. Sarcasm is always at someone else’s expense; or so I’m told. It bothers me, but maybe it’s better that Abnegation wants me to suppress it. Maybe I do not have to leave my family. I could live an Abnegation life, make it work. But I know it’s only a lie.

“Daisy! What happened? Are you alright?” Myles speaks up.

I nod. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I notice he is with Alisha and her brother Alexander. I scowl when Alisha gives me a strange look. It’s as if she knows that I am a different person than I was this morning. Like she knows I’m not normal. I shrug. “I got sick when my test was over. Must be a side effect from the freaky juice they gave us. I feel better now though.”

“O..kay.” Myles raises an eyebrow at me. “You sure? You look as pale as a ghost.”

I nod again. “I’m fine Myles.”

Alisha and Alex seem convinced. I avoid looking in the direction of my brother. I can feel him narrowing his eyes at me. He knows when I’m lying.

“Did you guys take the bus today?” I ask. It’s a stupid question and I honestly don’t care, but I need to change the subject.

“Our father had to work late,” Alisha explains, “Something came up. But he wanted us to have time to think before the Choosing Ceremony.”

My heart pounds at the mention of the ceremony. I dread even the sound of it.

“You’re welcome to come over later if you’d like. We could all go together.” Myles suggests politely. I want to punch him.

“Thank you, that would be lovely.” Alisha smiles at him. I roll my eyes and groan. It makes me sick to watch them flirt. I notice Alex let out a chuckle at my remark. Him and I have been forced to deal with these two ever since we’ve met. Myles’ eyes leave Alisha as she heads down the walkway. I sigh with annoyance and grab his arm, dragging him into the house before shutting the door behind us.

He turns to face me. His dark, straight eyebrows form into a crease. I often wonder who he looks more like, his mother or his father. Myles and I were adopted by the people we now call our parents. Apparently, we had been found freezing and starving to death in a broken down house at the edge of the Abnegation sector. Myles had ran away from the orphanage and took me with him. He couldn’t bear to leave me behind. Rather than send us back, Audrey and Phil Coulson had decided to take us in. Together, they raised us as their own. Only, they left our last names the same. It’s an Abnegation custom done out of respect for the birth parents. Johnson was the name that I had been left with at the orphanage. Myles, on the other hand, had no apparent last name. I gave him mine. So we could always be together. It doesn’t bother me that our family is mix-matched. I know where I belong.

“Are you going to tell me the truth now?” He questions me.

“The truth is,” I say, crossing my arms, “I’m not supposed to discuss it. And you are definitely not supposed to ask.”

“So you’ll bend all the rules, but this one? Not even for something this important?” Though he appears accusatory, it sounds like he is begging me for information-like he actually wants to know my results.

I narrow my eyes at him. “Will you? What happened in your test, Myles?”

He shuts his mouth and our eyes meet. I think I hear a train horn. So faint that it more than likely was wind whistling in an alleyway. But there is no mistaking the sound when I hear it. It sounds like Dauntless calling me to them. Myles seems to pick up on my thoughts.

“Just...not a word to our parents about what happened, okay?” I say. His eyes stay on mine for a few seconds and then he nods. I let out a sigh.

I want to go upstairs and lie down. The test, the running, and my encounter with the factionless man exhausted me. I groan when I remember that I have to make dinner. I breathe deeply and shuffle into the kitchen to start cooking.

Shortly after, my brother joins me. I clench my jaw. Myles helps with everything. It irritates me. His natural goodness, the inborn selflessness. We work without a word to each other. I cook carrots and corn on the stove while he defrosts the chicken. Most of our food is frozen or canned since the farms these days are far away. My mother explained that long ago people refused to eat or buy genetically engineered food as it was viewed as unnatural. We have no other option now.

By the time my parents arrive home from work, dinner is ready. My father hangs up his jacket and walks over to kiss my forehead. Everyone views him as an opinionated man--too opinionated for his own good--but he is also sweet and loving. I always try to see only the good in him; I try.

“How was your test?” He asks me as we gather around the table.

“Fine.” I simply say. I couldn’t possibly be Candor. Lying is second nature to me.

“I heard there was some kind of upset with one of the tests,” my mother mentions. Of course she would have heard. She recruited the volunteers who administered the aptitude tests. I briefly catch Myles glance at me before turning his head to play with his food.

“Really?” My father says. A problem with the tests is extremely rare.

“I don’t know much about it, but Sharon told me that something went wrong and the results had to be reported verbally.” My mother pauses to take a bite of chicken. “Apparently the student got sick and was sent home.” She shrugs. “I hope they are alright. Did you two hear about it?”

“No,” Caleb looks up at her and smiles. He could never be Candor either. My mother merely nods. “So,” she turns to my father. “Tell me.”

She takes his hand in hers and rubs her thumb in a circle over his hardened knuckles. I stare at their joined hands. It is clear that my parents love each other, but rarely do they show affection in front of us. I scoff internally. I have been wary of love since I was young.

“Tell me what’s bothering you?” She adds. My mother had an acute sense of picking up on the feelings of others. Nothing goes unnoticed.

“Just a difficult day at work,” He sighs. “Well, really it was Garrett who had the difficult day. I shouldn’t claim it as my own.”

Garrett is my father’s coworker; they are both political leaders. The city is governed by a council of fifty people, composed entirely of Abnegation representatives. Our faction is regarded as incorruptible due to our commitment to selflessness. Leaders are selected by their peers based on character, moral, and leadership skills. Each faction has representatives that can speak in meetings on behalf of a particular issue, but ultimately, the final  decision belongs to the council. While supposedly the council makes decisions together, Garrett is particularly influential.

It has been this way since the beginning of great peace, when the factions were formed. I like to think the system persists because everyone is afraid of what might happen if it didn’t; war.

“Is this about that report Victoria Hand released?” Victoria Hand is the sole representative of Erudite, selected based on her high IQ score. My father complains about her often. Well, everyone but Erudite does.

This draws my attention. “A report?”

Myles nudges me and gives a warning look. It isn’t permitted to speak at the dinner table unless our parents ask us a question. Our listening ears are a gift, my father always says. They give us theirs after dinner, in the family room.

“Yes,” my father scowls, gritting his teeth. “That arrogant, self-righteous-” He stops and clears his throat. We all stare wide-eyed. “Sorry, but she had the nerve to release a report attacking Garrett.”

I raise my eyebrows. “What did it say?”

“Daisy…” Myles says quietly. I am tempted to kick him. I don’t like being chastised, especially by my brother.

“It stated that Garrett’s violence and cruelty towards his son is the very reason his son chose Dauntless over Abnegation.”

It is unheard of for those born into Abnegation to leave. When it happens, we remember. Two years ago, Garrett’s son, Grant, left us for the Dauntless and Garrett was devastated. Grant was taken in by Garrett when his birth parents had mysteriously perished in a house fire. The cause was never known. His older brother, Christian, was adopted by another family. It was never explained why the two siblings were separated. Grant had been Garrett’s only child and only family. His wife had passed away years ago.

I never met Grant. He rarely attended community events and never joined his father for dinner at our house. It was strange, but it doesn’t matter now.

“Garrett? Cruel?” My mother shakes his head. “Poor man. As if he needs to be reminded of his loss.”

“Of his son’s betrayal, you mean?” My father says coldly. “I shouldn’t be surprised. The Erudite have been attacking us with these reports for months. And this isn’t the end.”

I know I shouldn’t speak out again, but I can’t help myself. “Why are they doing this?”

“Why don’t you listen to your father, Daisy?” My mother says gently. It is phrased as a suggestion, not a command. I spot Myles giving me a look of disapproval. I stare at my plate. I am not sure I can live this life any longer. It irritates me. I am not good enough.

“You know why,” my father continues. “We have something that they want. Valuing knowledge above all else results in a lust for power. It leads men into dark and empty places. We should be thankful that we know better.”

I nod. I know I will not choose Erudite. Not over my dead body.

My parents clean up after dinner. They even refuse to let Myles help them. We’re suppose to keep to ourselves for the next few hours, so we can think about our results.  I yearn to talk to my family about my results. But I can’t. May’s warning whispers in my head to keep my mouth shut. No one can know. I climb the stairs ahead of Myles. As I am about to head to my bedroom, he stops me.

“Daisy,” He looks sternly into my eyes. “Think of our family.” I notice an edge to his voice. “But...but we must also think of ourselves. What’s good for us.”

For a moment, I am stunned. Never have I seen him think of himself. He has always been selfless. I can only say what I am suppose to: “The tests don’t have to change our choices.”

He smirks. “Don’t they though?” He squeezes my shoulder. I merely smile at him and walk into my room. I wish I could speak to him like I want to. But the idea of admitting that I need help is too much to bare.

It will require a great act of selflessness to choose Abnegation or a great act of courage to choose Dauntless. Maybe just choosing one over the other will prove that I belong. This evening, these two qualities will struggle within me and only one can win.

______________________________________________________________

Ward

I don’t do Choosing Ceremonies.

Not ever. And I certainly won’t this year.

I scrunch up the report in my hands, wishing that it was Victoria’s face that I was crumbling up instead. For once, her suspicions are correct.

“Garrett’s violence and cruelty to his son Grant Ward is the very reason his son chose Dauntless over Abnegation.”

I silently curse both Victoria Hand and Daniel Whitehall. Damn her and damn him for having the goddamn nerve to show it to me. Gripping the wad of paper in my right hand, I burn it to a crisp. I throw the ashes into the trash along with the remnants of my breakfast. I’ve lost all appetite. The dining hall is empty, save for me. I enjoy the peace. Especially now when the hatred inside me is itching to be set aflame. 

Most of the Dauntless went to the Choosing Ceremony. I stayed behind. Partly because I am an initiation instructor and have to wait for the initiates to arrive. I would like to say that’s the only reason I’ve decided not to go, but it’s not. It will never be. Entire factions must attend the Ceremony. That includes Abnegation. It includes Garrett.

Being in the same room with Garrett is like being in the same room with a viper. A disgustingly nasty, gray coloured viper. Although it is Candor’s turn to conduct the ceremony, his presence still fills the room. I don’t need to see him to feel his eyes glaring into me. The most influential leader of Abnegation. Most influential in the government and amongst all factions. If only they knew the monster that he was.

No wonder Victoria Hand hates him so much. No wonder about those cruel reviews. My mind buzzes. It’s no wonder about those war plans.

War. The name is something that I’ve never felt before. It’s an eerie feeling. I need to discover what exactly Erudite is up to. I need to get the information to only ones who could help. Before it’s too late.

I clench my fists together. I can feel the warmth radiating off of them. My powers are screaming for release. All this hatred is acting as a trigger.

Someone taps me on the shoulder and I turn around. It’s Bobbi. I flash a small smile at her. “I’ve been looking all over for you. We should go over the plans for training the initiates.” She says, sliding into the seat beside me on my right. “Doesn’t hurt to be prepared.”

“Hi to you too, Bobbi.” My voice is teasing. I catch her rolling her eyes. “You sure you want the transfers again? They’re always harder to train than the Dauntless-born.”

“I’m fine with it.” I reply, watching her shake her head at me. Little does she know that I actually prefer training the transfers. I’m not entirely sure why, but I find peace in the training room with them. I can relate to them. Unlike the Dauntless-born. I am not Dauntless after all: not truly.

“We’ll start with physical training. They will learn to assemble and shoot a gun, then fighting, and followed with knife throwing. Last of all, we’ll do the fear simulations and landscapes. Rankings will be announced after each stage.” I explain to her, my voice and face expressionless. Bobbi nods in agreement. Normally, we can laugh and share jokes between us. But much like Tripp, Bobbi understands when I am closed-off. She has a knack for sensing when I’m in one of my moods. When my thoughts are not of my own.

Today is one of them. I am smothered by my thoughts. Today brings back a flood of memories that I’d rather not relive, but it seems I have no choice. The memories play out in my head; over and over again. Before I get too caught up in my own mind, Tripp interrupts me by snapping his fingers in front of my face. I hadn’t noticed that he joined the table.

“Hey! Ward!” He yells. “Everything alright, man?” Both him and Bobbi have concerned looks written all over their faces. I look at them with a sheepish smile.

“Yeah...yeah, I’m fine.” I say.

Tripp glares at me for a brief moment and then his goofy smile returns. Tripp rarely holds a grudge, much less gets offended. Bobbi looks as though she wants to say something, but she drops it when I flash her a look. I’d have to say that both Bobbi and Tripp are my best friends here. I never expected to find friends. In the moment that I had to choose a faction, I was fixated on Dauntless as an escape. A safe haven. The idea of friends never occurred to me.

I am glad of my choice. Of the friends and people that I’ve come to know. Although I do wish that I could open myself up completely to them. To tell them of my horrific past. But I just can’t.

Bobbi clears her throat. “Well, if you boys are good, we should make our way over the Hole. The initiates will be arriving soon.”

We make our way through the maze of hallways that make up the Dauntless compound until we reach the Hole. It’s literally a room with a giant net in the middle, nothing else. “I wonder who will be the first jumper this year.” I hear various of the few Dauntless who chose to stay behind whispering. Tripp and Bobbi begin to discuss training and placing bets amongst the others. I lean against the wall, hidden in the shadows.

I’m hoping for a surprise this year.

Chapter Text

Daisy

     The bus ride to the Choosing Ceremony seems to drag on forever. It is hot and cramped with people dressed in gray shirts and slacks. I am starting to wish that my parents had chosen to walk. Anything would be better than this.

It isn’t until I spot the Hub as it nears that I breath a sigh of relief. If I was forced to stay in there for another minute, I would have snapped. Stepping off the bus, I tilt my head to glance up at the top of the Hub, but even then, part of it disappears into the clouds. It is the tallest building in the city. Apparently it was referred to as a skyscraper long ago. It doesn’t surprise me. I can see why.

I follow my parents into the building. Myles seems calm and relaxed, but so would I, if I knew what I was going to do. Instead, I have a strong impression that my heart will implode out of my chest any minute. I have to grab onto Myles’ arm in order to steady myself. I can feel my powers buzzing around inside of me. I clench my left hand and steady my breathing. I need to stay in control.

The elevator is crowded. Too crowded for my liking. Luckily for us, my father volunteers to give our place to a group of Amity. However, I am not looking forward to climbing twenty flights of stairs. I groan, but follow him unquestioningly. We have set an example for our fellow faction members and soon the four of us are engulfed in the mass of gray fabric ascending the concrete stairs. I quickly settle into their pace. I almost believe that I could succumb to Abnegation’s hive mind, that I could live this life. But my legs get sore and I struggle to breath. No can do.

As we reach the twentieth floor, my father pauses to hold the door open for the others. I want to wait for him, but the crowd presses me forward into the room where I will decide my fate. My future.

The room is arranged into concentric circles. Around the edges, stand the sixteen year olds of every single faction. We aren’t called members yet; our decisions today will make us initiates. We become members if we complete initiation.

My mother grabs my arm and pulls me aside. “Daisy….your father and I wanted you to know that regardless of your decision today, we will always love you.” She softly smiles and takes my hand. “I know that you will make the right decision.” She must know what I am about to do. I can only nod and embrace her. Little does my mother know that I may not be coming home. That she may not see me again. I can’t imagine breaking her heart. But I will. It breaks mine to even think about it.

We separate and I am dragged back into the mass of gray clothing. I spot Myles and walk over to stand beside him. We are arranged in alphabetical order, according to the last names we may leave behind today. Rows of seats make up the next circle. They are arranged in five sections, in accordance to each faction. While not everyone comes to the Choosing Ceremony, the crowd still manages to look huge. The responsibility to conduct the ceremony rotates from faction to faction each year, and this year it is Candor’s. Gonzales will give the opening address and read the names in reverse alphabetical order. Myles will choose before me. On the podium before us are five metal bowls so large they could hold my entire body, if I curled up. Each one contains a substance that represents each faction: gray stones for Abnegation, water for Erudite, earth for Amity, lit coals for Dauntless, and glass for Candor.

When Gonzales calls my name, I will walk to the center of the three circles. I will not a speak  a word. He will offer me a knife. With it, I will slice my hand and sprinkle my blood into the faction I choose.

My blood on the stones. My blood sizzling on the coals. My life determined.

My father appears from the crowd and comes to stand in front of Myles and me. He kisses my forehead and draws me in for an embrace. What little resolve I have left almost breaks. I clench my jaw and stare down the floor, which is so bright from the the reflections of the lights. He holds me for what feels like a long time, even after I let my hands fall. He turns his head and whispers in my ear, “I love you, baby girl. No matter what.”

He pulls away and claps Myles on the shoulder. “See you soon,” he says. Without a trace of doubt.

My father’s heart will break when I make my decision. He may not show it or tell anyone, but I am his little girl. His heart will shatter when he loses me. Myles grabs my hand, squeezing so hard that it hurts, but I don’t let go. The last time we held hands was at my grandmother’s funeral, as my father cried. We need each other’s strength now, just as we did then. Just as we did when we were kids.

The room slowly comes to order and it quiets down. I should be observing the Dauntless; I should be taking mental notes, but I can only stare at the podium ahead. At the five bowls. I try to my lose myself in my thoughts.

Gonzales stands at the podium between the Erudite and the Dauntless and clears his throat into the microphone. “Welcome,” he says. “Welcome to the Choosing Ceremony. Welcome to the day we honor the democratic philosophy of our ancestors, which tells us that every man has the right to choose his own way in this world.”

More like five predetermined ways.

“Our dependents are now sixteen. They stand on the precipice of adulthood, and it is now up to them to decide what kind of people they will be. Decades ago our ancestors realized that it is not political ideology, religious belief, race, or nationalism that is to blame for a warring world. Rather, they determined that it was the fault of human personality-of mankind’s inclination toward evil, in whatever form that is. They divided into factions that sought to eradicate those qualities they believed responsible for the world’s disarray.”

What do I believe? I do know; I do not know.

“Those who blamed aggression formed Amity.”

They exchange smiles. They dress comfortably, in either red or yellow. Every time I see them, they seem kind, loving, carefree. But joining them has never been an option for me. I’m not a loving person.

“Those who blamed ignorance became the Erudite.”

Ruling out Erudite was an easy decision.

“Those who blamed duplicity created Candor.”

I have never liked Candor. I lie to easily.

“Those who blamed selfishness made Abnegation.”

I blame selfishness; I do.

“And those who blamed cowardice were the Dauntless.”

But I am not selfless enough. Sixteen years of trying and I am not enough.

My legs go numb, like all the life has been drained out of them. My heart pounds in my chest and I wonder how I will walk when my name is called.

“Working together, these five factions have lived in peace for many years, each contributing to a different sector of society. Abnegation has fulfilled our need for selfless leaders in government; Candor has provided us with trustworthy and sound leaders in law; Erudite has supplied us with intelligent teachers and researchers; Amity has given us understanding counselors and caretakers; and Dauntless provides us with protection from threats both within and without. But the reach of each faction is not limited to these areas. We give one another far more than can be adequately summarized. In our factions, we find meaning, we find purpose, we find life.”

Thoughts of our motto fill my head. Faction before blood. More than family, our factions are where we belong. How can that possibly be right?

Gonzales continues, “Apart from them, we would not survive.”

The silence that follow is heavier than most. It is heavy with our worst fear, greater even than the fear of death: to be factionless.

“Therefore this day marks a happy occasion-the day on which we receive our new initiates, who will with us toward a better society and a better world.”

A round of applause. I try to stand completely still. If my knees are locked tight and my body is stiff, I don’t shake. Gonzales reads the first names, but I can barely think straight. How will I know when my name is called?

The room is constantly moving, a new name and a new person choosing, a new knife and a new choice. I recognize most of them, but I doubt they know me.

“Myles Johnson,” says Gonzales.

My head snaps up. Myles squeezes my hand one last time, and as he walks away, casts a long look at me over his shoulder. We should think of our family. But we must think of ourselves. I watch as he steadily takes the knife from Gonzales. He remains steady as one hand presses the knife into the other. The blood is dripping and I can see his hand shaking. He breathes out. And then in. And then he holds his hand over the Erudite bowl. His blood drips in the water, turning it a deeper shade of red.

I hear mutters that lift into outraged cries. I can barely get my thoughts together. My brother, my selfless, kindhearted brother, a faction transfer? My brother, born for Abnegation, chose Erudite?

I scan the crowd of the Erudite. They wear smug smiles and nudge each other. The Abnegation, normally so placid, speak to one another in tense whispers and glare across the room at the faction that is our sworn enemy. I glance over the Abnegation and spot my parents. Pure shock covers their faces. My father is clenching his jaw.

“Excuse me,” says Marcus, but the crowd doesn’t hear him. He shouts, “Quiet, please!”

The room goes silent. Except for a ringing sound.

I hear my name called and with a gulp, I press forehead. I look at Myles, who now stands behind the Erudite. He stares back at me and nods a little, like he knows that I am thinking, and agrees. My footsteps falter and I catch myself from falling. If Myles wasn’t fit for Abnegation, how can I be? But what choice do I have, now he left us-left me, and I’m the only one who remains. It isn’t home without Myles present. He left me no other option.

I set my jaw. My heart is urging me to stay. I have to do this for my parents. I have to.

Gonzales offers me the knife and I take it. I turn towards the bowls. The flames of Dauntless are on my right and Abnegation stones are on my left. I grip the knife in my hand and touch the blade to my palm. Biting my tongue, I drag the blade down. It hurts like crazy, but I hardly notice. I hold both of my hands to my chest, and my breath shudders on the way out.

I open my eyes and thrust my arm out. My blood drips onto the floor. Then, with a gasp I can’t contain, I shift my hand to the right and my blood sizzles on the coals.

I am selfish. I am brave.

The room is dead silent. So silent that the sound of a pin dropping could be heard. I train my eyes on the floor and march over to stand behind the Dauntless-born initiates who chose to return to their faction. They are all quite taller than me, so when I lift my head, I can only see black-clothed shoulders. Time drags on until the last girl makes her choice.

It is time to leave.

The Dauntless always exit first. I walk past the gray-clothed members who were once my faction. I can feel their eyes lingering on me. I need to see my parents one last time. I look over my shoulder at the last second before I pass them. I wish I hadn’t. My father’s eyes burn into mine with a look of shock and accusation. At first, when I feel the heat, I believe he has found a way to set me on fire. To punish me for what I’ve done; but no-I’m about to cry. Beside him, my mother has tears in her eyes. But she is smiling.

I am forced to look away as those behind me press forward. I twist my head around to find Myles in the blue crowd of Erudite. He stands among the other initiates, shaking hands with a few of them. The easy smile he wears is an act of betrayal. It’s as though he is no longer concerned about our parents that he left behind. I am tempt to call him a traitor, but my stomach wrenches. What does that make me? I am a traitor too.

I glance at the boy to my left, a Erudite transfer, who looks as pale as a ghost and nervous as I should feel. I spent all my time worrying about which faction I would choose. I never even considered what would happen if I chose Dauntless. What waits for me there?

As the crowd reaches the stairs, everyone starts running. I am deafened by all the whoops and shouts around me and the dozens of thundering feet moving at different rhythms. I can only keep running. I am breathless and feel ready to pass out by the time the Dauntless burst through the exit. Outside, the air is crisp and cold. The sky is bright orange from the setting sun.

The Dauntless sprawl across the street and I sprint to catch up to the back of the crowd. I am out of breath and my legs burn. I have not run anywhere in a long time. It is discouraged in Abnegation-nothing can be done for my own enjoyment. I follow the Dauntless down the street and around the corner and that is when I hear a familiar sound; the train horn.

“Oh no,” mumbles the Erudite boy. “Are we supposed to jump on that thing?”

“Yes,” I say, breathless.

The crowd spreads out in a long line. The train flies toward us on steel rails, its lights flashing, its horn blaring. The door of each car is open, waiting for the Dauntless to pile in, and they do, group by group until it is only the initiates left. Those from Dauntless are used to doing this, so very quickly, it’s just faction transfers remaining.

I start jogging. My entire body is begging for me to stop, but I know that if I do, I will fail the Dauntless initiation. I will be factionless. It can happen at any moment. I run with the car for a few steps and attempt to throw myself sideways. Only I am not as tall or strong as some of the others, so I struggle to pull myself into the car. Eventually, a Erudite girl grabs me and pulls me in. Gasping, I thank her.

“Oh my goodness, you all right?” The girl who helped me asks. She appears to be my height with light brown hair that falls at her shoulders. I also notice that she has an accent of some sort. She is pretty.

I nod.

“Sorry, where are my manners? I’m Jemma,” she says, offering me her hand.

I haven’t shaken a hand in a long time. In Abnegation, we greet each other by bowing heads. It is a sign of respect. I take her hand, uncertainly, and shake it twice. I hope I didn’t squeeze too hard.

“Daisy,” I say.

“Any chance you know where we’re going?” She has to shout over the wind as the train picks up speed. I am forced to sit down in order to keep my balance. Jemma comes to sit down next to me, inching back to lean against the wall.

“I assume we’re going to Dauntless headquarters,” I say, “but I have no idea where that is.”

“Does anyone?” She shakes her head. “It’s almost as though they just popped out of a hole in the ground or something. Although that seems quite unlikely considering they aren’t bugs or anything of the sort.” I raise my eyebrow at her, clearly confused.

She seems to pick up on this and grins. “Sorry, that’s the Erudite talking.” I manage a smile before glancing over my left shoulder at the setting sun. It reflects off the glass buildings, and in the distance, I can faintly see the rows of gray houses that used to be my home.

Tonight it was Myles turn to make dinner. Who will take his place-my mother or my father? When they clear out his room, what will they discover? I picture books jammed between the dresser and the walls, books hidden under the bed. Did he always know that he would choose Erudite? I had my suspicions, but I never believed he would truly leave.

I close my eyes and picture my mother and father sitting at the dinner table in silence. Is it a lingering hint of selflessness that makes my throat tighten at the thought of them, or is it selfishness, because I will never be their daughter again? Daisy Johnson is no more.

“They’re jumping off!” Someone yells.

I lift my head and sit forward. The train has slowed down and I realize that the one who shouted is right. The Dauntless in the cars ahead of us are jumping out as the train passes a rooftop. The tracks are seven stories up.

I feel like I am about to throw up. The idea of leaping out of a moving train onto a rooftop, knowing there is a large gap between the two does not sit well with me. I scramble to get up and stumble over to car door, where the other transfers stand in a line.

“We’re going to have to jump off,” a Candor boy shouts.

“Great,” a Candor girl replies, “because that makes perfect sense, Quinn. Leap off a train onto a roof or our deaths.”

“We signed up for this, Raina.” The boy points out.

One by one each faction transfer makes the jump. Within a few seconds, Jemma and I are the only one left. I glance at her. Her brown eyes are wide and she has her lips pressed together tightly. I offer her my hand.

“Here,” I say. “We jump together.”

She nods and takes my hand. “One..two...three!”

On three we launch off the train car. A weightless moment, and then my feet slam into solid ground and pain prickles through my shins. The jarring landing sends me sprawling on the rooftop, gravel under my cheek. I release Jemma’s hand. I can’t tell whether she is laughing or crying.

“That was fun,” she says. Definitely laughing.

Jemma will certainly fit in with the thrill seekers. I glance around the rooftop and it appears that every one of us faction transfer has made it. Although with varying levels of success. Few sport fresh bruises and cuts while others are shaking gravel off of themselves. Raina, the Candor girl and her friend Quinn have made it in one piece. I noticed them sniggering at an Amity boy who is gripping his ankle in pain. My elbow stings. I pull up my sleeve to examine it, my hands stinging and shaky. A bit of skin is peeling off, but there is no blood.

“Ooh...Scandalous! A stiff is flashing some skin!”

I lift my head. “Stiff” is slang for Abnegation and I’m only the only one here. Raina points at me, smirking. I hear laughter. My grit my teeth and let my sleeve fall.

“Listen up! My name is Whitehall! I am one of the leaders of your new faction!” Shouts a man at the other end of the roof. He is older than the others, with deep creases in his skin and gray hair. He still looks young for his apparent age. I notice that he stands on the ledge of the rooftop, carelessly. Like he isn’t worried about falling. “Several stories below us is the member’s entrance to our compound. If you can’t muster the will to jump off, you don’t belong here. Our initiates have the privilege of going first.”

“You want us to jump off a ledge?” asks a Erudite boy. He is a few inches taller than I am, with short, curly blonde hair. His mouth hangs open.

I don’t know why it shocks him.

“Yes,” Whitehall smirks. He looks amused.

“Is there water at the bottom or something?”

“Who knows?” He raises his eyebrows.

The crowd in front of the initiates splits in half, making a wide path for us. I look around. No one looks eager to leap off the building—their eyes are everywhere but on Whitehall. Some of them pretend nurse minor wounds or brush gravel from their clothes. I glance at Raina. She is picking at one of her cuticles. Trying to act casual.

“I’ll do it!” I am proud. It will get me into trouble someday, but today it makes me brave. I walk toward the ledge and hear snickers behind me.

Whitehall steps aside. “Looks like the Stiff is braver than the rest of you.”

I walk up to the edge and look down. Wind whips through my clothes, chilling me to the bone. The building I’m on forms one side of a square with three other buildings. In the center of the square is a huge hole in the concrete. I can’t see what’s at the bottom of it.

This is a scare tactic. I know I will land safely at the bottom. That knowledge is the only thing that helps me step onto the ledge. My teeth chatter. I can’t back down now. Not with all the people betting I’ll fail behind me. I look at the hole again. Goosebumps rise on my arms, and my stomach lurches. If I don’t do it now, I won’t be able to do it at all. I swallow hard.

I don’t think. I just bend my knees and jump.