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Catwashing

Summary:

what if instead of mouthwashing it was called catwashing and instead of them dying I just give them cats

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes and other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Swansea

Chapter Text

Swansea never wanted a cat.

 

He’d admit they’re cute, but that’s as much as he’ll say, for one he’s more of a dog person, he’d prefer something that would protect the house over some fluffball that’ll eat and sleep all day. Plus, they can be aggressive when they set a boundary, which he finds annoying, if he wants to pet it, he’ll pet it, why the hell can it slap him? That’s just rude.

 

But… 

 

His wife thinks they’re precious, what could be more adorable than a little pointy ear creature that purrs and kneads the bed? Yes, she likes dogs too, but cats? Oh goodness, they’re great.

 

Yet, she’s listened to her husband, no cats, that’s alright, they have a dog and that’s good enough. No need for an extra furball running around the house.

 

She thought that for some time… till… 

 

Well there was a post on facebook. A shelter having an elderly tabby cat that was given up, it had the grumpiest look, it instantly reminded her of Swansea… it was meant to be. Her name is Kamilah, cute.

 

And when she was the only one who was at the shelter when she went… Well, that furthered the point that it’s perfect for them, it’s like a little Swansea junior. The adoption went fast and she went home with the grumpy old lady.

 

To say Swansea was unhappy would be an understatement, he grumbled a lot about it. How he didn’t want it, how it was going to be mean, how she should have asked first. Blah blah blah, but he loves seeing his wife happy, and as much as he didn’t like it, he let the cat stay.

 

However, he decided to not call the cat by her name, no, she got the nickname “damn cat” from the old man, which his wife found funny, Kamilah, the damn cat, it’s quite the title.

 

At first, the cat didn’t really go near Swansea, it really liked his wife, it’d sleep on the floor instead of their bed, it didn’t go near the dog either. Swansea liked the arrangement.

 

Till he didn’t

 

It didn’t take long for Kamilah to start sleeping between Swansea and his wife, or swat the dog on the nose for fun. Even following the old man around the house as he did his daily tasks, or the moment he got home from work, he was greeted by her before his wife could.

 

And now…

 

Swansea sits on his couch, watching soccer and having his dinner, with the damn cat on his lap, he pats her on the head and she lets out a dispirited, “mow” as a response, grump. He’s even having a conversation with the furball,

 

“These new players don’t even know what they’re doin’, are you seein’ this?” he looks down at Kamilah, who’s sneaking a piece of chicken off his plate, but she still looks up at him and lets out a grumpy, “mow.” which makes Swansea nod,

 

“Exactly, this ain’t like the old stuff, it was a lot better back when I was younger” he pats the cat again, who’s slowly eating the small bit of chicken she snatched, Swansea doesn’t mind though, it’s kind of become their routine, she gets small bits of his dinner as he talks to her.

 

“Hey, hun, could you check the pipes under the sink? I think it’s leaking again” his wife calls out as she walks out of the bathroom. When Swansea doesn’t do so after a while, she walks into the living room, “hun?”

 

“Hm?” he looks over at her, she’s standing next to the couch, a soft smile on her face as she looks at him, she’s not mad he hasn’t gotten up… just slightly… displeased.

 

“Can you check the pipe?”

 

He gestures at Kamilah on his lap, “I saw somethin’ on facebook, you’re not suppose to get up when there’s a cat on your lap, to not disrupt them or somethin’”

 

“Oh” she giggles, “really? Facebook said you can’t move when the cat’s cozy?”

 

“Yeah, I saw it on the stupid little videos that pop up”

 

She smiles and shakes her head in amusement, “that’s convenient, huh? Can you check it when she’s not in your lap? Or is there something about pampering her after her nap?”

 

“Yeah, yeah, i’ll get to it” when he hears Kamilah “mow” again he looks back over to the tv to see the other team has scored, “dammit! Meow is right! They ain’t even trying are they?” 

 

The cat “Mow”s again, Swansea shakes his head and rubs his temples, “me and you could do a better job! I’ll get you a yarn ball or somethin’ from the wife and we’ll show them, cat soccer”

 

“Oh my goodness” his wife starts laughing, “I’ll go get a yarn ball” she starts walking out of the room, she can hear Swansea tell the cat he’ll get a cup of coffee so they can practice, his wife shakes her head and whispers to herself, “that pipe is not getting fixed anytime soon…”

Chapter 2: Anya

Summary:

Anya's cat

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Anya was on a walk, she wanted to clear her head and there’s this absolutely lovely forest near her house, she loves going on the little walking path there is, there’s always birds and little critters all around, it’s cute. 

 

Usually, it’s just raccoons, chipmunks, squirrels, she’s even seen a deer, but never anything… friendly? Domesticated? It’s always a wild animal that she can see, but knows way better than to actually go near or try to touch it.

 

In spite of that, this time was different, very different, in fact.

 

It was early morning, she was doing her usual thing, walking on the path and occasionally stopping to look at a cute bug she saw. But, she then heard a rustling in the bushes, Anya thought nothing of it as it’s probably some critter eating, but it… followed her.

 

She got worried and was going to turn around and just go home, but then she heard it. A soft little “meeerrrrow” from the bush, her attention was piqued.

 

Ever so slowly she walked over to the bush and pushed the branches apart to reveal a black cat. It stares up at her with its yellow eyes, she stares right back at it, the little fellow is dirty, he obviously doesn’t have an owner.

 

So Anya didn’t worry about it when she brought him home, if he looked like this and was sitting in a bush, he obviously has no home to go to. He didn’t fight her when she picked him up, he just chilled in her arms as he carried her home, he let out a few unenthusiastic meows. But for the most part he seemed to like Anya already.

 

Following that, plus a bath and some love, they became best friends, she got him a matching sweater with her, got him a Polle plush, which he quickly destroyed, he doesn’t seem to like Polle very much. Even with her inexperience with animals, she seemed to be caring for him properly.  

 

And, his name? Goober. 

 

It kind of just happened, as she’d care for him the first few days she’d say things like “oh aren’t you a little goober?” and it just stuck, why give him an actual name when he already listens to Goober? and… it’s fitting for the silly little fellow.

 

Now…

 

Walking into the house, Anya hides a bag behind her back, it’s a surprise… she already knew he’d be sitting at the door, he tends to sit there and wait the entire time she’s gone, she got a pet camera so she could talk to him because he seemed sad, even with that he just waits.

 

He stares up at her and instantly starts rubbing his head against her legs, as he does blaring purrs leave his throat. She giggles and squats down to pet him, which he welcomes enthusiasically, even jumping onto his hind legs to lean into her hand as much as possible.

 

“Always so excited…” she mumbles, smiling as she finally stands back up, which causes a whiny meow to leave Goober's mouth, “it’s okay, I got a surprise, can you guess what it is?”

 

Goober tilts his head, then sniffs the air, oh, she got the good shit.

 

Almost immediately he runs behind her and smacks at the bag behind her back, it’s fast food.

 

“That’s cheating” Anya snorts out a little laugh as she walks to the kitchen, Goober quickly runs after her, she pulls out her meal, then Goobers, she started getting a small one for Goober after a while of sharing, she knows he shouldn’t have it…. But a little can’t hurt, it’s only once a month.

 

A small fry and four nuggets, he gets two nuggets and half the fries, the rest is saved for another time, or… Anya just eats it instead, don’t tell Goober.

 

An endless amount of meows come from the cat as Anya places the food into a cat dish, and hers onto a regular plate, obviously. She’s trying to work fast but she quite obviously is not fast enough, he is hungry!

 

“Don’t rush… that’s impolite” she smiles down at the cat, which he copies, showing off his teeth to her in a makeshift cat smile, Anya’s smile widens at the sight, “oh… that’s cute” she reaches down and scratches the top of his head, “sweet little Goober…”

 

Once she’s finished plating the crappy fast food, she walks over to the living room, once again Goober runs after her, he’s so excited. She places the plates on the coffee table, Goober hops up onto it and starts eating his nuggets, while Anya sits down on the couch and starts looking for a tv program to put on. She can wait a moment, unlike a certain kitty cat.

 

She finds a crappy rom-com and puts it on, then grabs her burger and leans back, taking a bite as the show begins. By now Goober is already done, he hops onto her lap, spins a few times, then settles down and kneads her thigh.

 

Not a thing in the world could be better than this, eating shitty food, watching a shitty show, with an adorable cat on your lap, purring and kneading in contentment.

 

“You’re the best thing that’s happened to me” she whispers, looking down at Goober for a moment, “I hope you know that” she looks back at the show, she knows he’s a cat… he can’t understand her… but…

 

“Maar, meew, mow” is Goober's response, what does it mean? Only Goober knows, she hopes he’s saying he knows, or maybe even that she’s the best thing that happened to him too? She’ll never really know, she just knows he’s happy, and that’s good enough for her.

Notes:

Thanks for reading :D

I had no idea what to name her cat

Chapter 3: Daisuke

Summary:

Daisuke's cat

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

It was for responsibility.

 

His mom got him a small kitten from a nearby shelter, Daisuke didn’t have a job yet. But she wanted him doing something while he looked for something, or well, she looked for something for him.

 

A small, fluffy brown kitten with light brown eyes caught her eye the moment she stepped into the shelter, so she bought that one, when she presented it to Daisuke he was stoked.

 

He had just come home from a day out with a few friends, when he saw a bunch of stuff on the table, a few pet bowls, a box, litter, a few mouse toys and then his mom walked over with the small kitten.

 

She can’t say she’s ever seen him more excited before, he took it from her within a few seconds and started petting it and talking to it, thanking her over and over. He asked for pets when he was little, but the answer was always no because she thought he wouldn’t care for it well enough.

 

But now, she thinks he can, he has all the time in the world to do so, and with how pumped he is right now it’s obvious he’ll do whatever possible to keep it alive.

 

The kitten got the name “dude” which was unsurprising, of course he’d call it dude. It’d be dudette if it was a girl, his mom would bet money on that.

 

Within a week he’d already made it a Hawaiian jacket that matched his, which the fluffy creature looked rather silly in, all his fur puffed up as he waddled around trying to get used to the clothes. Which he did, it just took two days.

 

Now…

 

“Hey dude!” Daisuke calls out as he walks into his bedroom, tossing a plastic bag onto the bed, the kitten sits right on his pillow, it’s now a few months old, he starts rolling around and showing his belly the moment he hears Daisuke’s voice.

 

Walking over to the kitten, Daisuke starts rubbing his belly, which in return, Dude starts bunny kicking his arm. It was a trap as always, Daisuke always falls for it though, it’s impossible to not when that fluffy little belly is so tempting.

 

“Mom said your litter box is totally nasty” he gently grabs the kitten's belly and carefully shakes him in a playful manner, “so I gotta clean it” he releases Dude and pours what's in the plastic bag out onto the bed and goes over to the box.

 

What falls out of the bag is a bunch of… baby clothes? Hm, what’s that for?

 

“Ugh! Dude! How does your tiny little body produce something like this?” Daisuke quickly leaves the room to throw away the bag of old cat litter, when he walks back in, Dude is laying in the pile of baby clothes.

 

“You already know those are yours, huh” he chuckles and sits down beside the pile, pulling one of the onesies out from under the kitten, he grabs a pair of scissors and starts cutting off some of the parts so the kitten can comfortably wear them, “I thrifted them, I think it’s time you get a new wardrobe”

 

Dude already has a pretty big wardrobe, either old socks or thrifted stuff Daisuke made into cat clothing, he has at least twenty different outfits.

 

“Check it” Daisuke holds up the onesie he took, “it has you on it” there’s a picture of a cat on it, it’s not brown, or fluffy, it’s just a cartoony grey cat, but whatever, it’s still Dude. in response Dude just rolls around in the pile of clothes, purring contently.

 

“Yeah, save your energy for the fashion show”

 

An hour goes by, Daisuke snips and sews all the baby clothes till they’re perfect for Dude to wear, some become just shirts or jackets, while two become onesies with tail holes. He had to cut them down so they’d fit Dude, but it’s totally worth it.

 

Then the fashion show begins! He dresses up Dude in each outfit and puts a treat at the end of the hallway, so Dude does a literal cat walk, Daisuke’s mom watches it, it’s hilarious and adorable.

 

After the show, Daisuke walks over to her with a huge grin on his face, “which was your favorite?” He's very enthusiastic about these, every time they’re done, it’s cute.

 

“Hm… I liked the overalls, with the little white shirt underneath”

 

“He was a cat farmer! He’d drive a tractor around and everything”

 

“I’m sure he would” his mother laughs softly, the image of the kitten on a mini tractor is.. Very amusing. Maybe Daisuke could focus a career in cat fashion, if that’s a thing. He’d be good at it.

 

Daisuke leaves to his room, Dude’s already there sprawled out on the bed, 

 

“I forgot I wanted to show you something, Dude” he sits down beside the kitten and takes out his phone, placing it in front of the cat's face as it plays a video, it starts with a cat sitting still, then it starts spinning around over and over.

 

Dude stares at the video, then looks at Daisuke, then at the video, and starts hitting the phone. Daisuke starts laughing, “they weren’t lying!” he pulls the phone away, “cats actually attack that video” he turns off his phone then looks at Dude, who’s now having zoomies, running circles on his bed.

 

The kitten does this a lot, so much so Daisuke had to look up why, turns out it’s because he’s happy, which is good! Because Daisuke is happy too! Two happy dudes!

Notes:

Responsibility?! *Jimmy starts hyperventilating*

 

Thank you for reading :D I'm having loads of fun writing these

Chapter 4: Curly

Summary:

Curly's cat

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

He felt lonely

 

Of course, Curly had his best friend, Jimmy and his family but… he lived alone, he’d go to the gym in the morning, then come home to nothing, he’d try random hobbies to keep himself entertained but… he wanted more company, not things to do.

 

First thing that came to mind was a bird, because, well, a captain and a bird? It’d be perfect. But when he went to a pet store, none of them stood out to him, so he left empty handed.

 

A week later, while walking home from the gym, he saw a cat in someone's window, it just sat there, he watched it for a moment, the owner simply walked by and pet it, and the cat seemed unbothered, just enjoying being around.

 

Cats… would work, they aren’t high maintenance, it’d kind of just chill around his house, it’d be company, something he could sit by, maybe talk to?

 

So he found himself on google an hour later, as he sat on his couch, he looked up different cat breeders till he landed on one that sold British shorthairs, there was a specific one that caught his eye, an adorable orange short haired kitten. But what made it stand out?

 

It had a missing eye.

 

A birth defect, unfortunately

 

The last kitten the breeder was selling too, the others were sold fast, but this little guy was left behind… and after a quick chat and him going to the bank, he went on an hour long drive and got the kitten, it had a simple name, Mr Snuffle, but that… Curly didn’t like that. So his new name?

 

Oliver

 

Curly thought Oliver would struggle a little due to his disability, but he was wrong, so wrong. Oliver was instantly crazy, he’d jump on Curly while he slept, chewed on Curly’s weights, he even climbed the curtains. He’s wild, it wasn’t what Curly wanted exactly… but he can’t say he dislikes it, crazy company is good too.

 

Now…

 

Walking into the bathroom, Curly looks down to see Oliver covered in toilet paper. His one eye is the only thing shown, they both stare at one another for a moment, then Oliver starts running around in a circle and zooms out of the room.

 

“Crazy bugger…” Curly mutters as he starts cleaning up the toilet paper on the floor, “making my life ever so slightly harder”

 

After that cleanup, Curly walks back out to the kitchen, where he spots Oliver lapping up the tea he just made, he claps his hands, causing Oliver to scurry off,

 

“Hey! You know better, you menace” he grabs the cup and looks into it, a look of disgust on his face, he’s not too interested in sharing tea with an animal that cleans itself with its own tongue, he pours the tea in the sink and starts the kettle again.

 

As he waits, Oliver walks over and drops his toy at Curly’s feet, Curly looks down at the little stuffed mouse and squats down to pick it up, once he does he can see the cats tail flick back and forth, so, he throws it, Oliver runs after it and grabs it the moment it lands on the ground.

 

Oliver walks back over and drops the mouse again.

 

“Are you sure you aren’t a dog?” Curly laughs, “I’ve never heard of a cat doing this before” he tosses the toy again and watches as the cat runs to it, they could do this all day, over and over again, it’s fun.

 

Once the kettle whistles he turns the stove off and pours some water into a cup, then puts the tea leaves into the little strainer and plops it in the cup, Oliver watches the entire time, his one eye as wide as can be, Curly can tell he’s planning something.

 

“Not for you” he leans down and pats the cats side to push him away, “shoo”

 

But instead, Oliver hops onto the counter and starts walking to the cup, Curly picks him up, which causes him to squirm and meow angrily, he doesn’t hiss or swat, but his annoyance is clear.

 

“You are” Curly turns the cat so he’s looking at him, “a menace!” He walks to the living room and places Oliver on his cat tree, then walks back to the kitchen, but by the time he’s there, Oliver is too, so he opts to grab the cup and stand in the middle of the kitchen to drink it instead.

 

“I win” he grins and sips the tea, Oliver squints his eye, Curly just chuckles, “you’re defeated, get over-” before he can finish, Oliver starts climbing up the leg of his pants, “oh, come on! That’s not even funny”

 

The cat makes his way up to Curly's shoulder and sits there, leaning over to try and lick the tea. He got his bird in a way…? A cat on the captain's shoulder works too, right?

Notes:

Thank you for reading!
I wasn't planning on giving Jimmy a cat, but if you want me to, tell me, and I suppose I will

But I do plan on doing a little bit more with this anyway, maybe like one more of each cat or something, or them meeting, we'll see

Chapter 5: Jimmy

Summary:

Jimmy's cat

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

An ASPCA commercial played.

 

Even the worst people can’t look away from one of those, a sad creature laying there, begging for help. It's cruel, sad, and why the hell are they recording it instead of doing something for it first?

 

And even the worst of the worst people, Jimmy, can’t look away, he stares at it blankly as he cleans the my little pony figures off his coffee table. In all seriousness, he could care less, but it made him remember the fact Curly got a cat. 

 

If Curly has a cat, why can’t he get one too? His will even be better, it won’t be stupid and it’ll have all its eyeballs. It’ll be better, so much better, so much cooler.

 

He sits at his computer and goes on a search, finding an interesting cat… then he found it, the Ocicat. It looked cool, he even found one for sale, dark grey with a white belly and amber eyes. It looks cooler than Curly’s cat already, so he bought it.

 

The owners stated it’s an aggressive cat, that’s why they’re selling it. But, pffft, how aggressive can it be? It’s a cat.

 

Picking it up went smoothly, Jimmy brought it home and named it Octavia Melody, a grey cat, a grey pony, it works.

 

Octavia did not fuck with Jimmy. She slapped at him, bit his hair and pulled it, ripped up his clothes, peed on his stuff. Fuck, she’s an asshole!

 

But when Curly met her, she became an angel, Curly pet her and she’d purr and knead the floor, basically the opposite of how she is with Jimmy. It pissed him off, that’s HIS cat, why is it mean to him but not to Curly?!

 

Now…

 

“Fuck! Bastard!” a shoe is tossed Octavia’s way, but she dodges it, hisses, and runs off. She peed on Jimmy’s shoes, “fucks wrong with you?! Pissing on my- ugh!” 

 

Does she care? No, does she feel bad? No, Octavia is chilling. She just hopped onto the lazyboy chair and laid down. She stayed there for a while, watching as Jimmy walked through the house bitching and yelling the entire time, she got bored after some time and went to his bedroom.

 

It stinks worse than her litter box.

 

She’s used to it now though, her owner smells like ass. She hops up onto the bed and grabs a plush toy, it’s a mega rayquaza, it’s pretty old, and no, you weirdo, there’s no hole in it, you thought it. I know you did, you’re sick. His pony jar is on his dresser though.

 

Whatever, she grabs it and drags it off his bed and down the hallway, he failed to actually buy her toys, so she finds other stuff to play with, this is one of them, it’s like a snake she can fight.

 

And that’s just what she does, she bunny kicks it, bites it, tosses it around, she’s rolling around with it in her mouth like an alligator doing the death roll.

 

But everything good comes to an end.

 

“How many times do I have to take that from you?” Jimmy snatches the plush toy, “fuck off, you’re a cat go catch a mouse or something”

 

A hiss.

 

“Ugh” is his only response, he walks away and puts the mega rayquaza back on his bed, then walks back out to see Octavia pacing, back and forth and back and forth. “The fucks wrong with you?”

 

Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

 

He squats down and pats her back, which causes her to plop over and start swatting at him, not in a mean way, she’s playing, he watches her for a second, then swats his hand back.

 

This goes on for a while, no pacing, just them swatting, after a bit she plops on her side and he spins her, weeeeeeee, but instead it sounds more mraaaaaaaa. When he stops, she pounces at him, biting his leg and kicking like an idiot.

 

In response he fights her back, pushing her and patting her side and bum, making her meow loudly at him before jumping right back into the fight.

 

“You’re a little shit, y’know that?”

 

If she could talk, she’d say “well you’re a bigger shit” but instead she just hisses at him and goes back into the battle, biting his hand as her tail whips back and forth.

 

“This is annoying, I'll buy you a toy, okay?” he sounds annoyed, but he’s still pushing her around, still playing, “that stupid fish that flops around or something”

 

Well, at least he’s getting better, right?

Notes:

sorry

Chapter 6: Silly Kitties

Summary:

Short stories about each kitty

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Mow! Mrrraaaaa. Mow mow mow mow”

 

Is what Swansea gets to hear all morning. Kamilah is hungry, and he’s trying to get in a few extra minutes of sleep.

 

Who’ll win the battle?

 

“Get!” he swats her away with the back of his hand, “ain’t feedin’ ya if yer gonna demand it like an arsehole”

 

Kamilah slaps his hand with her paw, meowing louder than before.

 

“Ya got that damn kibble to eat! I ain’t gettin’ up to give you that smelly wet shit”

 

But, she stands her ground, meowing and spinning around on the floor. She’s even woken up the dog, who’s now watching the ordeal lazily, even the dog doesn’t have this kind of energy when it first wakes up.

 

Swansea grumbles something under his breath. He’d ask his wife to do it but the stubborn cat only eats the wet food if he specifically feeds it to her.

 

He sits up, groaning as he does so.

 

“Damn cat” he mutters as he gets up from his bed, grabbing a shirt and throwing it on as he leaves the bedroom.

 

The cat follows close behind, still meowing as loud as she can.

 

“I get it!”

 

Opening the cabinet, he grabs a can of wet cat food and pulls the top off. Kamilah’s act completely changes when she hears that sound. She starts rubbing her face against his legs, purring loudly.

 

“Don’t be actin’ all sweet now” Swansea pours it into a bowl and sets it down, watching as the cat begins to chow down as if she hasn’t eaten in a year, “happy now?”

 

A purr.

 

“Mmmhp. Fuckin’ bastard”

 

—-------------

 

“We’re sorry to inform you…” Anya sighs, setting the letter down. Another one.The universe just will not let her get into medical school. At this point it has to be a joke, she literally has a pile of these same letters sitting in a box.

 

She turns her head to her companion, he’s sitting on the couch next to her, his head tilted. As if he was listening to her reading the rejection letter.

 

“Shall we add it to the pile?”

 

Goober's ears fall, why’s he acting like he understands her?

 

He hops onto her lap, purring as he kneads her thighs.

 

“This makes eight, you know” she states, gently petting him, “I don’t think I’ll ever be a nurse”

 

Louder purrs, he bonks his head against her. Comforting her?

 

“Should I get a new dream?”

 

A hiss. He stills his movements, turning his head, glaring at her. 

 

“No?”

 

“Mow”

 

Anya smiles, silly creature, “yeah… there’s another school not too far…”

 

She can’t even finish and he’s already purring again, resuming his kneads.

 

“That settles it, I guess,” she laughs, patting the top of the cat's head, “thanks”

 

“Mrrrr”

 

—-------------

 

“Dude!” Daisuke shouts, he’s trying to play a video game. But Dude keeps going in front of the television to smack at the moving character and the cursor. As if playing with a laser pointer.

 

But Dude could care less that he’s being shouted at. The game is much more interesting. He continues smacking at the screen, even going on his hind legs to paw at the stuff at the top.

 

“It’s a ranked game!” He sets down the controller and goes to grab the cat, but Dude is smart. He hops to the other side of the TV stand to escape. He’s getting that damn cursor, “for real?”

 

Annoyed doesn’t even begin to explain Daisuke’s feelings. He’s almost at the highest rank, and yes, he loves his cat, but when he’s playing an intense game he doesn’t really want to be dealing with this.

 

“I swear, dude, we’ll play right after this game”

 

The cat just continues to play. Completely ignoring his owner.

 

Again, Daisuke tries to grab him, he actually does this time. But Dude wiggles himself out of his grasp to smack at the screen again.

 

Then, the death screen pops up. Which makes Daisuke give up, he flops back onto his bed with a sigh. He definitely lost his rank. Dude sees this and jumps from the TV stand to the bed and starts licking Daisuke’s face.

 

“I love you too” he pets the cat, “but you’re kind of a dick”

 

A nip.

 

“Chill, man, I was joking”

 

—-------------

 

Oliver rolls around on his back, showing his stomach off as Curly watches. 

 

He’s laughing. The cat looks stupid as ever, sure it’s cute but it’s still stupid. Oliver does this quite often, it’s his little dance.

 

“Having a party?”

 

More wiggling.

 

Cute. Curly grabs his remote and goes onto YouTube and starts playing a random song. Makes the weird cat dance funnier. He bops his head to the beat slightly, grinning like an idiot as he watches Oliver wiggle.

 

“Does your belly dance mean anything?” he asks as if Oliver can answer. But what can answer that? Google. He looks up what it means when Oliver does this, the answer makes him smile wider, “you trust me, huh little man?”

 

The cat just purrs, loud as ever, how cute.

 

Reaching over, Curly rubs Oliver's fluffy belly. But Oliver retaliates. Bunny kicking his hand as hard as he can.

 

“Ah! You set a trap” Curly pretends to struggle pulling his hand away, playing along, “menace!”

 

—-------------

 

Octavia watches as Jimmy opens a box. An Amazon order.

 

“You better like this” he pulls out something that’s wrapped up in protective bubble wrap, he rips it off and pulls out a fish toy.

 

He plugs a charger into an outlet, then plugs the fish in, letting it charge.

 

Why is Octavia supposed to like this? It’s just plugged into the wall, boring. She runs off to go mess with some of his shoelaces instead.

 

But an hour later, Jimmy unplugs it and sets it on the floor, Octavia is lounging on the lazy boy chair. Half asleep, but the moment the man clicks a switch she hops up.

 

The fish is flopping around the floor.

 

She runs at it, grabbing it with her two front paws and body slamming it. She bites and scratches. For who knows how long.

 

And Jimmy watches in amusement the entire time. He’s never seen her so excited to play before.

 

“You happy?”

 

In response, she just meows, tossing the toy into the hallway and pouncing on it again.

 

“Yeah, you better be” he crosses his arms, trying to look tough but has a small grin on his face. Yeah, he likes seeing the stupid cat happy.

Notes:

Yay! Finally more kitties

Chapter 7: Sleepy Kitties

Summary:

Kitties need naps!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Kamilah nap time. As if it has a designated time, nah, she’s an old lady, she naps whenever she feels like it. 

 

And now she has decided the perfect spot is the dog's bed. It’s soft and big, perfect for her to curl up on and be all warm and comfy.

 

But, the dog does not appreciate this. He walks over to Swansea and starts whining.

 

“Get” he swats at the dog, trying to get him away, “ya just went out”

 

More whining

 

“I mean it, shoo, go lay in yer bed or somethin’”

 

Bed?! How?! Fine. 

 

He walks over to his bed, sniffs Kamilah, then tries to join her. The cat doesn’t take up much of the dog bed, dogs are much larger than cats after all. He tries to fit in beside her as there’s more than enough room.

 

Then, Kamilah retaliates.

 

A hiss.

 

Then a smack.

 

The dog yelps and jumps up, getting away from Kamilah as fast as he can.

 

Hearing the yelp, Swansea gets up and walks into the living room, where he sees the scene.

 

“Yer kiddin’ right?”

 

“Mrrrrr” 

 

“Ya got… three cat beds, stupid cat post, even my bed for fucks sake” he rubs the bridge of his nose, stupid cat, “but yer stealin’ his bed instead?”

 

Kamilah doesn’t even meow in response this time. She just falls back asleep. Annoying.

 

“That’s what i get for talkin’ to a fuckin’ cat” looking down at the sad dog, Swansea frowns, “... ya can go to my bed if ya want”

 

The humans bed?! The dog zooms to the room as fast as possible. As if he’d pass up on that.

 

—---------

 

Anya steps out of the shower and makes her way to her bedroom.

 

Goober’s been sitting outside the bathroom door since she went in. He goes to follow her, but he’s locked out. He meows at the door, scratching on it.

 

“I’m getting dressed” she calls out, “I need privacy”

 

Ugh, he just flops onto his side, continuing to meow pitifully. As if she’ll never come out of that room again.

 

Really he’s just locked out because he tries to lick the water off her legs. Which is gross.

 

So is he whining because he misses Anya or because he wants the water? Your call.

 

When the door opens, he just lays there, glancing up at her, acting all sad. It makes Anya laugh, he’s so dramatic, and for what?

 

She lifts him up and takes him to her bed, laying down and plopping him beside her.

 

His mood shifts quickly, he hops onto her chest and starts kneading and purring, as if he wasn’t just throwing a tantrum moments ago.

 

“Weirdo” she presses a small peck on his nose, “my weird kitty” she lifts her hands to grab his cheeks, squeezing them softly.

 

He purrs louder, closing his eyes. 

 

Goober soaks up affection as if he’s never been pet before.

 

Then he settles down, loafing on Anya and closing his eyes. Ready for bed. How cute.

 

Smiling, Anya pulls up the blanket, covering them both, yes, Goober gets some of the blanket. He deserves it, “goodnight” she whispers, but Goober is already asleep, doesn’t matter, “Love you bunches”

 

—---------

 

“Pajama’s dude!”

 

Daisuke lays the kitten down and starts going through his wardrobe.

 

“I’m thinking the blue one with rubber duckies, you feeling a onesie tonight?”

 

He holds up the onesie in question, as stated, it’s blue with small yellow rubber ducks all over it.

 

But, Dude does not respond, he just stares at Daisuke as if expecting something.

 

“No?” he places the onesie back into the closet and looks at the other option, “what’s the vibes tonight?”

 

Dude waddles over, meowing and smacking Daisuke’s pant leg. Which is like a lightbulb moment.

 

“Oh!” he grabs a very specific pair of kitten Pjs, they match his checkered pattern pants. An older pair that Daisuke just cut up, “this?”

 

A long meow leaves Dude’s mouth, as if the kitten is yelling, “yeeeeesssss”

 

“I get you, matching with dad, huh?”

 

And boom, Dude is in his outfit. Matching with Daisuke, father and son goals. Dude gets straight into bed, laying on Daisuke’s pillow, waiting for him to join. But Daisuke sits down at the edge, fishing through his nightstand.

 

He starts eating a few cookies, he has a stash.

 

When he looks over at Dude, the kitten is just watching him with his big ol eyes.

 

Without saying a word Daisuke grabs Dude’s treats and places a few on the pillow.

 

Now they’re both scarfing down treats before bed.

 

“Don’t tell my mom, or well, your grandma, okay?” he holds his fist up, which Dude smacks with his paw, a silent agreement, “cool, cool”

 

—---------

 

“Oliver! Shoo! Now!”

 

Oliver jumps onto Curly’s face.

 

“Ah-” Curly picks up the kitten and holds him up in the air, “that’s it!”

 

He’s been trying to sleep for a few hours now, but Oliver has different plans. Why sleep when you could play? 

 

But now he’s being placed in the kitten crate. There’s a blanket inside with a few toys, mice or little fluffy ball toys. Nothing much, it’s what Curly calls ‘kitten jail’ for the naughty kitten. As Oliver is the naughtiest kitten alive.

 

“There, you naughty bugger” once the crate is locked. Curly goes back to his bed and lays down. The crate is just sitting in the corner of the room, so it’s not like he’s being mean, Oliver’s still with him.

 

Or so he thinks.

 

The small mews start leaving the crate almost immediately after Curly lays down. Just sad little mews, the kitten is relentless. 

 

“You did it to yourself, do not try to make me feel bad”

 

Mew, mew, mew, mew

 

“Cut it out”

 

A whimper.

 

Oh, how to make a dude feel like the worst man alive in a second.

 

Little guy has been in there for what? Less than five minutes. 

 

And Curly is already getting up to let him out.

 

“You’re like jimmy, making me feel bad for setting a boundary”

 

Angry mew.

 

“Okay, okay, you’re not that bad” he pats Oliver’s head, “I won’t degrade you. But let a man sleep”

 

—---------

 

Octavia lays on Jimmy’s bed. Half asleep. Yeah, she sleeps here sometimes when she feels like it. Jimmy’s at the gym anyway, so it’s not like he can kick her off.

 

She sprawls out, stretching all her legs. Then stuffs her face into the pillow.

 

Comfy.

 

But nothing great lasts forever, as Jimmy comes home and walks into his bedroom. Almost instantly spotting the lazy cat.

 

How does he respond? Yell? Push her off?

 

Nah, he just walks over and plops down beside her.

 

Sure, he’s not a good person, but a cat’s sleeping. And to wake a cat up, you really gotta be a special kind of evil.

 

He pets her for a few minutes. Then falls asleep himself.

 

Is that all? 

 

Well, no. as when Octavia wakes up and sees her human, she gets up and lays on top of him, getting into a comfortable spot, then falling right back asleep.

 

Now they’re cuddling.

 

Awwww

Notes:

I actually made all these kitties in the sims, they're super cute.

Also, I never said this on here, I actually drew Goober before, like before I even posted the first part. it's on my tumblr if you're interested, he's my pfp on there. though you might have to do some scrolling to find the whole picture, sorry

Chapter 8: Escape kitties!

Summary:

what?! the kitties ran off? kinda

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Coming home after a long day of work, Swansea is exhausted. He’s too old for this.

 

Usually he walks in the house, and is greeted by his cat, his wife and his dog. It’s a simple routine, yes, but he adores it, though he’d never say it out loud.

 

But today was different. He opened the front door and walked into the house, to be greeted by no one. He called out for his wife, who then ran over, panicked.

 

“Kamilah! She’s gone! I’ve looked everywhere and I can't find her!”

 

His exhaustion goes away in an instant. His perfect little fur baby? Gone?

 

Oh hell no!

 

He grabs the dog's leash and goes to search outside, even the dog seems slightly panicked, sniffing around the ground, looking everywhere for his furry friend. The cat is so old, she could very easily hurt herself, and no one wants to risk that.

 

The dog continues sniffing, till it stops and stares at a house, then barks.

 

Swansea stops and looks at the house, it’s nothing special, just someone’s house. But with closer inspection…

 

That fatass cat is eating the pie they left on the windowsill. 

 

“Kamilah!” 

 

“Mow” is her reply, she gives him a look, then goes back to eating.

 

“What’s wrong with you?” he walks into the yard and snatches the cat, “fuck you doin’? Stealin’ someone’s fuckin’ pie”

 

“Mow”

 

“Ain’t like yer starved, bastard” shaking his head, he starts walking home. The dog follows happily, his friend is back!

 

—-------------

 

Goober yawns, he’s laying in a tree, watching the birds fly by with a lazy eye. 

 

Anya had left the window open before she left for work, and the cat thought it’d be perfect to go out and sunbathe. As what’s better than sleeping next to a window? Well, being on the other side of the window of course!

 

He has no thoughts behind his eyes. All it is, is laze around.

 

The cat begins to groom his paw, still looking around at each and every bird or chipmunk that passes by, he’s just a lazy fellow, enjoying his time outside.

 

Sure, he lived outside before Anya got him, it’d be expected that he got his fill of having to hunt for his meals, running around constantly and almost getting hit by cars. But hey, he can never get tired of climbing up a real tree, he loves the cat trees, yes, but nothing beats the real deal.

 

Or at least he thought.

 

As then he sees Anya leave the house. He was too lazy to actually run off completely, he’s just in a tree right beside the house. 

 

She looks upset, like she’s about to burst out in tears.

 

There is nothing worse than that! He watches for a moment, then rushes down the tree to see why on earth his human is so upset.

 

The moment she spots him she runs over, picking him up and hugging him like a vice, “oh my gosh” she mutters, rubbing her face against his fur, “don’t you dare do that again”

 

He starts purring, he will heal her and make her feel all better. Like cats do.

 

“I love you so much, I can’t lose you, okay?”

 

A few kisses on the cheek later and he’s back in the house, now curled up on his human’s lap. Now this is better than a tree.

 

—-------------

 

“Now this’ll get the ladies” Daisuke puts a harness onto Dude, then connects a leash to it. What better way to get girls than to walk your tiny, very cute kitten?

 

Well, he was sorta right.

 

Now he’s on his way home, it turns out ladies prefer petting the cat, calling the cat cute, kissing the cat, over doing that to the cat's owner! Lame!

 

Dude is running down the sidewalk, mewing happily. He just got much more attention than his owner did, and he has absolutely no idea why, but it’s not like he’ll complain about getting pets.

 

“Rubbing it in?”

 

Daisuke is kind of defeated, he thought for sure he’d charm the ladies by showing his adorable son. But nope, another failed attempt. He’s holding the leash rather lazily, Dude’s tiny anyway, it’s not like he’ll be able to pull the leash out of Daisuke’s hand.

 

“You’re too cute, Dude, I think I gotta stop dressing you up”

 

Dude stops in his tracks, turning and giving his owner a glare.

 

“Yeah, you’re right, that’s not happening”

 

A mew, then he goes back to walking. Happy they settled on an agreement there. He’d hate to argue with his owner, even though he knows he’d win.

 

But… Dude is a cat, and not everything cats do is cute. So the moment he saw a squirrel. He ran for it. The leash slips from Daisuke’s hand, and Dude climbs up a tree.

 

“Oh shit! Dude!” He runs to the tree. 

 

Now, Dude is scared, shaking on a branch. He didn’t think this through. He looks down at his owner, mewing pitifully. Oh poor baby.

 

A small crowd comes by, looking at the scene. A small kitten in a tree, sadly meowing at his owner to help him.

 

Without much thought, Daisuke climbs the tree himself, when he grabs Dude, the kitten buries his head against Daisuke’s arm. Still shaking. The poor creature is horrified.

 

“It’s alright, daddy’s gotcha” he climbs down the tree and oh. Ladies. 

 

They all look at him in awe, then begin to step forward.

 

For the savior?

 

“Ooh poor thing!” They all walk over and start petting and loving on Dude, telling him he’s okay. Not a single glance goes Daisuke’s way. Or well, one does.

 

Dude does not care about the ladies, he just tries to climb up his owner's chest, seeking comfort after such a scary moment.

 

Aw… his baby.

 

—-------------

Mix up! Oliver and Octavia!

 

When Curly got a knock on his door, he knew who it was immediately. Oliver got out again, which only means one thing.

 

Jimmy stands at the door, arms crossed, 

 

“Where’s my fuckin’ cat?”

 

“Not a hard guess” Curly muses, trying to get Jimmy to smile, he doesn’t.

 

So they make their way to Curly’s backyard. Where, just as expected. Oliver is getting groomed by Octavia, the cat always seems to act motherly towards Oliver, which is sweet. But also annoying as she's sneaking away to find her adopted baby.

 

Both are purring loudly, Oliver’s laying on his back, gently smacking Octavia as she cleans his stomach and face.

 

Usually, when Curly randomly walks up to Oliver, he’ll get spooked. As well, he only has one eye, he can’t see very well. But, with Octavia it’s different. He must really see her as his mommy, as he never gets spooked when she’s around him.

 

Curly crouches down and goes to take Oliver away, but Octavia smacks his hand and hisses. Her baby.

 

“Oh don’t be a bitch” Jimmy steps over, “give him the damn thing, I got you a treat”

 

But Octavia acts uninterested, just continuing to groom the kitten.

 

“I got that canned wet food shit”

 

Now that catches her attention, she looks up right at him, wide eyes.

 

“You don’t give her that often? Oliver gets it daily”

 

“I can’t afford that shit all the time” he scoffs, “plus she gets the shits after, I don’t want to clean cat diarrhea all day”

 

“Oh, it must be a bad brand, Oliver gets-”

 

“Don’t start, your cat eats like a prissy prince” He turns to look at Octavia again, “let’s go, you want it, don’t you?”

 

Octavia picks Oliver up by the scruff and starts walking.

 

“Do not bring Curly’s cat!”

 

She gently places him down at Curly’s feet, then runs after Jimmy. She’s ready to eat.

Notes:

Idea from a super cool reader 😻

Notes:

Thanks for reading
The others will be posted soon, hopefully

every time I like something I have to give them cats haha

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