Work Text:
It was quiet, long past midnight, but Lu Guang was still lying awake, staring at the ceiling. It was one of those nights when everything was just too much, the memories of long past timelines, the nightmares haunting him, the weight on his shoulders just a bit too heavy to bear.
It was quiet, apart from the soft breathing from the lower bunkbed. Cheng Xiaoshi was fast asleep, for once not stirring with bad dreams tormenting his mind, and it was a soothing sound.
But it wasn't enough.
Slowly, very carefully to not make a sound, Lu Guang sat up and looked down on the lower bed, but it was too dark to make out anything. He hesitated, didn't want to wake him from his peaceful slumber, but this turmoil in his heart was getting out of control, making it harder to breathe, and in the end, he gave in to the need that made him climb down the ladder and sit down on the edge of Cheng Xiaoshi's mattress.
It was still too dark to make out anything but his silhouette, but it was enough to calm the growing anxiety, to losen the knot in his chest that was threatening to suffocate him. He could see his chest raise and fall with steady breaths and it helped fighting back the images that were edged into his mind a long time ago, images of a still body with lifeless eyes staring right through him.
Lu Guang put his hand on the soft bedding, leaning just a bit closer, listening to his soft breathing with closed eyes. Steady, deep, in and out, even though by now there was a slight tremble to it, indicating of his dreams becoming restless again.
And just when Lu Guang was about to raise his hand to touch his shoulder, to preemptively wake him up, he felt a gentle touch on his own hand, still resting on the mattress.
He froze.
He knew what it was, knew the feeling of these warm fingers all too well, had felt it many, many times before.
But never in this timeline, at least never this soft and carefully.
For a moment he thought that maybe he was dreaming. Missing his touch so badly, that his tired mind made up this warm hand carefully being pushed over his own, caressing his fingers all too hesitantly.
Outside, a car passed by, its headlights illuminating the room enough to let Lu Guang catch a glimpse of gentle brown eyes looking up at him. The moment passed in seconds, yet it felt like an eternity.
There was a question in these eyes, one that has been there for a while now, but Lu Guang had ignored it. Fought hard to not give in to it. Maybe this was the change the timeline needed to keep him alive. Maybe it was enough to keep him at distance, so he wouldn't catch the bullet meant for him this time.
Lu Guang knew that it was a childish wish. That Cheng Xiaoshi would always catch that bullet, because even if Lu Guang didn't give in to this need inside his heart, he knew that Cheng Xiaoshi's need to protect the people he loved would never vanish.
The soft movement of fingers sliding between his let this train of thought come to a halt, and just for a moment, his gaze found their hands, fingers now intertwined, before looking back at Cheng Xiaoshi's face. By now his eyes had adjusted enough to the darkness to see that he was still looking at him with that question in his gaze.
Lu Guang felt the aching of his heart growing as he leant down a bit more, closing the distance between them.
Cheng Xiaoshi turned his head to face him, the questioning look gone from his eyes, replaced by certainty.
And when their lips met, it felt like it was the first time again, even though Lu Guang had tasted them so many times before.
Yes... everything was happening as it had before, and that thought made his heart ache even more, made his fingers cling to that warm hand, taking in that warmth as long as it was still there.
No matter how many tries it took, he would never give up protecting that warmth.