Work Text:
Blood-gushered mountainside a brass parapegma of noon
glares behind: gore of hides. Beasts all slain. Shadeless midday. Specterless
differentiation. Glad day zodiacs augur. Awl of insight; hunters’
blades. Actaeon: and the spirits of motion. Actaeon
uttering:
::invisible solar stellatum : blue daytime::
::chalcedony, hyacinth, opal, sapphire, slate::
::Crystal. Ash. Hyacinth.::
—Peter O’Leary, “The Dogs”
There are few things Sirius wants less than to be on a blind date with James’s girlfriend’s best friend, but James had begged, and if Sirius is one thing, it’s a sucker for James begging. Sirius is almost positive it’s a case of “my friend is gay, your friend is gay, that means they must be attracted to each other,” and he isn’t particularly interested in a relationship anyway, but when James begs, Sirius is helpless to resist. It’s a character flaw.
When he gets to the restaurant, a careful five minutes late, he asks for Potter, party of two. He’s led to one of the ugliest men he’s ever seen in his life, and can’t help his eyes widening. “Er, Severus?”
Severus looks at him, then rolls his eyes. “Oh, brother.”
“What?”
“I don’t go for queens.”
“I am not a queen!”
“You might as well have ‘friend of Dorothy’ tattooed on your forehead.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not exactly a prize yourself! You look like a bloody ogre!”
“I’ve always thought of myself as more of a goblin.”
Despite himself, Sirius laughs, and Severus’s mouth twitches. “I’m sorry. That was mean.”
A beat. “I suppose I wasn’t kind either.”
Sirius laughs again, rubs the back of his neck, and sits down. “Dinner’s on James. Now that we’ve established that we aren’t attracted to each other, we might as well get a free meal out of it.”
“My kind of man,” Severus says approvingly. They both order cocktails, and Sirius orders a fruity one, winking at Severus across the table. Severus rolls his eyes, but he looks pleased. “I think this was a case of ‘gay people must all be attracted to each other.’”
“Yeah, that’s kind of what I was expecting.” Sirius takes a bite of bread and talks with his mouth full. “You’re a chemistry teacher?”
“Yes. Chew with your mouth closed, you cretin.”
Sirius smiles a closed-mouth smile and gives him a thumbs-up, and Severus smiles back, just a little. “You run a nonprofit, right? Helping people recover from incarceration?”
Sirius nods, and waits until he’s done eating to speak. “I spent a lot of my youth in and out of those places. James got my head on straight before it was too late, thank God, but I—well, I wanted to give back however I could.”
“I see. That’s very… noble of you.”
“Thanks.”
A brief, warm silence. “How did you and James meet?”
“Oh, we’ve known each other since primary.”
“Yeah, me and Lily too.” Severus sighs. “I really thought she had a sense of my taste in men by now.” He shakes his head. “We should look at the menu.”
They browse, and order, chatting over the salad about James and Lily and the likelihood that James will propose. Severus seems to think it’s coming soon; Sirius hadn’t been expecting it, but now that Severus has brought it up, it seems obvious. “I can’t believe they thought we were compatible,” Sirius says, and Severus laughs, and suddenly he isn’t ugly at all, and Sirius thinks, Shit.
“You’re telling me,” Severus says. “People can probably tell you’re gay from Mars.”
“So what?”
“So there’s no introducing you to people as my heterosexual friend.”
“What, people read you as straight? You’re so goth it’s practically camp.”
“They do, actually.”
“Right.”
“It’s all about body language. You can dress however you want.”
“Why do you care so much? You’re that concerned about what homophobes think?”
“I teach children. I have to care.”
“I didn’t think about that.”
“Yeah.” Severus gives him a tight, grim smile. “The last thing I need is an angry mob driving me out of my job for exposing their children to perversion.”
“Are things really still that bad?”
“I don’t care to find out.”
“Well, that’s—” Sirius scratches his head. “Maybe you should get a new job. It’s no fun being closeted.”
“Maybe.” Severus looks away. “I suppose there’s no homophobia in the world of nonprofits.”
“Are you kidding? Working with ex-cons?”
Severus looks up. Soon they’re swapping stories of workplace homophobia, and they both order more wine, and then more with dinner. Sirius realizes he doesn’t want the evening to end as the waiter offers them a dessert menu, and Severus says, “I really shouldn’t.”
“Come on, Severus. Live a little.”
Severus smiles up at him. “Okay.”
They split the crème brûlée, and then stumble out together into the winter night, their arms brushing. “Pub?” Sirius asks. “Or we could go back to my place for a nightcap, if you want.”
“How far are you?”
“I used the valet. I live fifteen minutes’ drive.”
“I took the bus.”
“I can drive you home afterwards.”
Severus appraises him. “Okay.”
He retrieves his car and tips the valet, and Severus says, “It absolutely reeks of cigarettes in here.”
“Sorry.”
“Got one?”
Sirius grins. They both light up, the windows cracked, the car warming up; it’s a bit icy, and he’s a little buzzed, so he’s careful on the road for once, tamping down on his tendency to steamroll through every possible obstacle. It isn’t worth it in this weather.
When they arrive, Severus follows him into his flat, then flings the door shut, crowds Sirius up against the wall, and kisses him. Sirius kisses back, wrapping his arms around Severus’s neck, and eventually Severus pulls away. “I hate it when Lily is right.”
“I bet.” Sirius kisses him again. Severus’s hands go to his hips, and there’s a bark, and Severus jolts.
Sirius laughs. “Hello, there. Hello, Bear. This is Severus.”
“Jesus, it’s the size of a wolf!”
“He’s completely harmless. I promise.”
Severus looks dubious. “Will he get on the bed?”
Sirius grins in delight. “The bed, eh?”
Severus turns a little pink. “Well—”
“Forward of you, Mr. Snape.” Sirius steps forward and kisses him again. “This way.”
Afterwards, they lie together, smoking another cigarette, and Sirius says, “I really like you a lot, Severus.”
“I like you, too.” Severus sounds a bit distant, but keeps his arm wrapped around Sirius. “God, I do not need this.”
“A queen?”
“Yeah.” Severus blows out smoke. “That was—”
“I know.”
“I mean, Jesus.”
“Yeah.”
“You are going to be so unbelievably inconvenient—”
Sirius tilts his head up to look at him, smiling. “I like the sound of that.”
“I’m sure you do.” Severus laughs a little. “You’re not one for the closet.”
“No.”
“Can you handle not meeting anyone I work with?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
“James is going to be insufferable about this.”
“So is Lily.”
“You wanna pretend it didn’t work out? Sneak around, see how long it takes them to catch on?”
A beat; Severus seems to be seriously considering it. Then he blows out a breath and shakes his head. “I shouldn’t hide you if I don’t have to.”
Sirius tilts his head down and kisses him. He can taste a thousand future kisses in Severus’s lips, kisses hello and good morning and goodbye and just for the sheer rich pleasure of being alive. He wonders how long he can take being hidden, being with this man who is the antithesis of all he is; but despite himself, he wants to try. “I’m sorry you feel like you have to hide.”
“Me too.” Severus sighs. “We’ll see what happens.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Well, the headmaster is flaming,” Severus says, and Sirius laughs and kisses him again.
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