Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I used to be someone else. I look back on the hours and hours of footage of my life, and see what I used to be. I don’t recognize that person at all. That person had something in him that I’ve lost. He had a family, friends, a purpose. He walked differently, he talked differently. I’ve always had my issues, but the old me used to thrive, like a bright coneflower bush in the middle of December. The person I’ve become though… I could only really describe that as struggling.

Some things are still the same, though. I’m still known as “Hangman” Adam Page. The crowd still chants “Cowboy Shit!” when I’m doing well. I still use the same moves when I wrestle, even if my eyes light up with something other than excitement and exhilaration now. No, when I watch my newer footage back, I see one emotion, and one only: Rage. And it is endless.

I thought that the Lights Out match, what I did to Swerve… I thought that would have made things return to normal for me. I got what I wanted, but in doing so I was changed - maybe forever. I guess it was foolish of me to think I could ever get my old life back. It was foolish of me to think I could truly free myself of him.

I’m still burdened by him, by what I’ve done. It’s always with me, and it’s like a poison, a disease. It’s something that keeps me away from everything and everyone I used to know, and I’ll be honest: I don’t know how to change that. At this point, I’m not even sure I want to. At least now I know what I am. Because what I am now is very simple: I am a fist aimed at the next jaw. I am a chain tightening around the next windpipe. I’m a cinderblock in the next back, I’m a needle piercing the next cheek, and I’m a chair shot–!

But let’s not go there.

At the very least, I can stop myself from feeding into it more than I already do. Though it’s hard not to, when I see him so often. He pulled himself together relatively quickly, but even I can tell he’s not whole. He’s not quite the same person he was before me, either. Once or twice we’ve locked eyes backstage, only for milliseconds, and then he’s always the one loping away with this look on his face like… Like I’m just a ghost he pretends he doesn’t see.

The wrestler in me knows that look. That look tells me whatever this thing is between us, it’s not over. The problem is that he doesn’t know how to get me back. Not yet. The day Swerve Strickland locks eyes with me and doesn’t turn away is the day I should fear for my life. And I can feel it coming. The only question is when.

At the end of 2024, Swerve had his attention turned to yet another enemy, someone he surely figured he would have an easier time with than The Hurt Syndicate. I watched on the backstage monitors at World’s End as he stood at the top of the ramp and shoot-named Ricochet once again. A searing jolt of anger raced through me. I swallowed it down. Swerve still had no fucking respect for people’s personal lives, it seemed, but that wasn’t really my problem anymore.

Swerve’s segment devolved into him counting the crowd down to the climax of tossing toilet paper rolls at Ricochet as the latter stood alone in the middle of the ring and just took it. The man looked somehow both devastated and completely numb as it happened, and I shook my head in pity at the asinine display of humiliation. It was an ugly, petty overreaction on Swerve’s part, and I was sure he would be getting more than he bargained for in reply from Ricochet some time soon. But again, not my problem.

“Oooh!” A voice purred, far too close to my ear. I reflexively flinched away from its source, and turned to come face to face with Jay Fucking White. Wonderful.

I took a deep breath and fixed him with a stony glare. As reactive as I had become, I knew it was best to play stoic with this guy as much as was humanly possible. Jay and I had a long history between us, but it wasn’t a pleasant one, and I didn’t relish the opportunity to interact with him one bit. In short: he was a dick, and I didn’t like him.

He had that characteristically perverted look in his eye, and a grin on his face as he stared me down. He had his hair half pulled back, the length of it draped along his leather clad shoulders. He was showing bare chest under his jacket, and below he was sporting his classic tally mark wrestling gear. He gestured to the monitors and to Swerve’s gleaming gold smile.

“Catching up on what your ex is up to, are we, Adam? Can’t help but stalk him a bit? You really must miss him! I suppose I would, too, in your situation. I would definitely romanticize the last feud I was in where I could actually win a match against the other guy every now and then!” Jay grinned cruelly, the expression crinkling the skin around his dark, blue-green eyes. Eyes that jumped minutely left and right as he studied my face for any reaction, any indication that his provocation was working. I gave him none.

“Oh, but Adam, you should focus on our match tonight, right? We’re the Main Event!” Jay continued, his voice rising in volume to a truly ear-splitting level. I couldn’t stop myself from wincing in irritation, and Jay took it as a sign to up the ante, get me to crack. I honestly think he gets off on being annoying. He took a quick step or two closer to me, invading my space as his eyes bored into mine. He was wearing some kind of musky, pine scented cologne that I didn’t entirely hate, and the closer he got the better it smelled. I could feel my resolve weakening.

“Focus on me, would you?” Jay crooned as he pressed in. I crossed my arms in front of my chest to create some kind of barrier between us, but remained rooted to the spot as he slithered in close. His face loomed mere inches from mine until our foreheads touched. Jay stared at me. I stared right back. Finally, he puckered his lips, and they stopped a hair’s breadth away from mine before he air kissed me, his lips smacking softly.

I turned my head away with a huff, and took a step back. Jay released a triumphant peal of laughter. “Ahhh, I’m surprised at you, Adam! I’ve never known you to be the first to back down from a homoerotically charged moment of intimidation! Maybe you’re still feeling loyal to your home invading ex, after all. That’s so sweet–!”

“Shut the fuck up, Jay!” I barked out, shoving him away, finally having enough of his pine-scented mind game bullshit.

But Jay was laughing his hardest yet. The shove made him stumble, but his mirth appeared to have affected him the most. He was doubled over when Orange Cassidy appeared in the doorway behind him. Orange took a beat to survey the situation, shook his head, and simply walked off. I didn’t blame him at all. Any chance to avoid an encounter with “Switchblade” Jay White should be taken wherever possible, and everyone knew it.

With one last sneer at Jay, I stepped out of the room as well. I decided to go the opposite direction Orange had gone. I just wanted to go somewhere to be alone for a little while, but I realized too late that my wandering had brought me close to gorilla. My eyes locked on a figure making his way down the stairs, and I froze.

Big black coat, long black hair, dark skin, golden grin. Swerve. I remained mostly in shadow, but Swerve’s head swiveled my direction anyway, and the grin melted off of his face at the sight of me.

It took him a few extra beats than usual to look away, but he did so as he continued striding in the opposite direction. I released a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding, and felt my heart pounding in my chest.

I thought the moment had passed, but Swerve abruptly paused. Keeping his back to me, he inclined only his head in my direction. All I could see was a bit of his profile peeking from behind the locs of his hair. I stood there waiting for something to happen, my eyes roaming over his form, but I didn’t dare to move, to speak.

“Keep away from me.” He threatened finally, in a low, quiet voice. It was a tone I hadn't heard him use often. Without waiting for a reply, he resumed his stroll as if nothing had happened, and disappeared around a corner.

I sighed and raked my hands through my hair before turning on my heel and making for the nearest exit door. Everywhere I turned, some ghost of my past seemed to be there waiting. Just appearing to remind me that there was no escaping, that there was no way around. I couldn’t avoid, I couldn’t simply endure. The only way out was through.

Truth be told, I didn’t know if I had enough in me to make it. It was hard, really fucking hard, to keep going with the hope that there might be a light at the end of the tunnel for me. From what I could tell, every time I thought I had fallen as far as I possibly could, the floor gave way beneath me and I sank lower still. I found myself becoming more brutal, more crazed, more aimless, more ostracized…

In the end, I guess the important thing was that I never really gave up. Even if my course was unclear, I kept fighting, I kept moving.

It was all I could do, and truth be told, it wasn't all bad. There were some moments of solace for me…

I found myself out in the loading area where all the vehicles and freight trailers were parked. The place was most often abuzz with chaos and the moving of heavy equipment, but since the show was already in full swing the area was pretty deserted. It was also late in the year, the sun had already set, and the sky was a dark mix of deep blue and purple. I could even see a few stars sprinkled across the darkest patch of sky directly above me. I took a deep breath as I gazed up at them, missing my garden at home at that particular moment.

I walked a few paces around the corner of a trailer when I practically tripped over a pair of blue jean clad legs. It was Orange. He was sitting along the side of the freight trailer on the concrete floor, and he peered wordlessly up at me from behind the nearly opaque black shades he wore.

I wasn’t sure why he was there, or how I ended up wandering pretty much right to him, but he was a welcome sight. We didn’t speak much, but Orange Cassidy’s presence had a calming effect on me. He often seemed to be around when I was close to losing it, and he never really cared what kind of state I was in.

I decided to park it next to him, sitting close enough that our thighs touched. That finally prompted him to speak, lowering his shades and curling an eyebrow up at me. “I thought you didn’t like to do “stuff” before you wrestled?” He said slowly, a gentle teasing in his voice. It was nothing like the way Jay teased, nor Swerve. Orange never got me worked up in that way, but he could definitely get my blood pumping. More importantly, he could distract me, if even just for a few minutes, from whatever torment I was going through.

I reached out and took his sunglasses, folding them and setting them to the side before I leaned in toward him. I grabbed him by the nape of his neck and pulled him close as I pressed my lips firmly to his. As if somehow sensing the intensity of my need more than even I had, he immediately moved closer, swinging his leg over mine to straddle my hips as we continued to kiss. He nibbled at my lower lip, ran his hands up my sides and over my pecs. I was hard almost instantly, and I rolled my hips up to grind myself against him.

“Moving pretty fast today…” He mumbled between increasingly urgent kisses.

“Shh..” Was all I said in reply before I grabbed him by the jaw, tilted his head back, and sank my teeth into his throat. It wasn’t hard enough to break the skin or even hurt, but I could feel the pressure of his pulse point between my teeth and I licked a stripe against it as I held him there.

His body jolted in response and a soft whimper escaped him. His cock was pressing back insistently against mine at that point, straining against the fabric of his pants.

“Stand up.” I told him, not unkindly, and he did so. I pushed him chest first into the side of the freight trailer, and let my hands roam over his body before I grabbed at the waistband of his pants and began to pull them down. Normally, I wouldn’t pull them all the way off, but I was feeling strange, like I needed something more this time.

I helped him step all the way out of his clothes, and he looked back at me over his shoulder as I went to my knees behind him. I grabbed his ass cheeks with both hands and squeezed.

“What are you doing?” He asked. I didn’t reply, but just stared up at him as I slowly moved in to gently bite his ass. He gasped, and his cock jumped. A good sign, he might just like this.

“Hold still.” I instructed as I spread his cheeks and let my tongue flick against his tight, pink hole.

Orange let out a choked sound, clearly shocked, but he didn’t move away or tell me to stop. I kept going, flicking my tongue around his hole in wet, sloppy circles. The taste was a bit unexpected, but not unpleasant, and the act satisfied some strange desire for recklessness or danger in my brain. I guess when life gets too tough, do some weird sexual shit you’ve never done before. Helps clear the mind.

I ended up getting pretty immersed in tasting him, my tongue lashing at him over and over until I felt like pressing the tip against his entrance as hard as I could, partially penetrating him. He let out a low, frustrated groan at that, and I figured he was ready for more. I grabbed him by the hips and spun him around to look at his face. “What did you think?” I asked, wiping my lips.

“Uh…” He panted. “That was…Something else.” He was a man of few words, but his cheeks were flushed, and his pupils looked completely blown. His cock twitched, kicking upward, and I moved forward and took it into my mouth in one fluid motion. I was hoping to elicit another shocked and pleasured cry from Orange. He didn’t disappoint. I sucked him until I felt like he was about to blow, then quickly got to my feet, spun him around, pulled my gear down and lined myself up before I drove my cock into that teased asshole of his.

And oh, how vocal I could make him when I really wanted to. His sweet moans and sighs filled the air around us as I thrust into him slowly at first, and then harder and faster. The sound of my hips snapping against his ass eventually became even louder than his cries until suddenly his cock popped like a bottle of champagne and his ass clenched around my cock again and again as he came. I spilled myself inside him with a groan and leaned into him, pressing my chest into his back.

We stayed like that for a few moments before I kissed the back of his neck and slowly pulled out. We didn’t really have anything to clean up with, so Orange offered me his shirt. I wiped myself down before helping him out, too, and I kicked the soiled cloth under the trailer. Orange pulled a face at me.

“What?” I asked, rolling my eyes. “It’s just a T shirt, I’ll find you a new one.”

“Whatever you say, Hangman.” Orange replied, drawing out the last word. “I guess I’m going to go… Take a shower, or something.” He muttered, and departed without another word. It was always how he left after these encounters. In a lot of ways, he was the perfect person to hook up with. He never really wanted to talk, didn’t seem to care when or where we did it, and made himself scarce as soon as it was over.

I chose a spot on the concrete floor and took a seat, wanting to make the peace and relative tranquility of my afterglow last as long as possible. I’d gotten some ass, I hadn’t punched anyone in the face backstage, and I was going to be part of the main event match later that night.

It was as close to thriving as I was going to get.

Chapter Text

Believe it or not, I wasn’t watching when Ricochet attacked Swerve. It was Orange who let me know anything was even going on.

“Hey, everybody’s freaking out over this Swerve thing.” He said nonchalantly as he passed me backstage. And sure enough, a group of muttering talent and production workers were gathering around the monitors nearby.

I slowly migrated toward the group and saw for myself that Swerve had apparently been busted open by Ricochet. It had all come at the end of a match that Swerve hadn’t even won, but the cameras were laser focused on him and his crimson mask.

The attack went on for a while, with Ricochet pursuing Swerve while brandishing golden scissors. Once the group watching the action began to realize I was there in the back, curious eyes started turning my way. I looked back at them uncomfortably.

Cole was there with Kyle and Roddy, and he addressed me when no one else seemed brave enough to.

“Are you gonna run in for him? All the history between you two…” He trailed off. A tense shuffling rippled through the room, and everyone got quiet.

On the monitors, Swerve was laid out in the ring with Ricochet grabbing him by his hair and staring maniacally into his face. More blows followed, and Cole was right that it felt like someone would normally be on the way to the ring to bail out whoever was getting beat down, but this was Swerve we were talking about. He had no friends, no allies.

Maybe it was true that Swerve and I were bound together by something greater than either of us. Hell, everyone seemed to know it at that point. But I didn’t feel a need to run for him. I’d done worse to him myself after all. Besides, he’d made himself clear. He didn’t want me near him, so I didn’t entertain the idea any further than that.

I shook my head at Cole.

“Alright…” Cole said uneasily. He gestured to Kyle and Roddy. “Let’s get out there.”

As they departed, I felt a hand pat my shoulder. I looked over to see Orange. He shrugged at me as if to say “Don’t worry about it.”, but the dozen pairs of eyes glancing back at me coupled with the renewed muttering was getting to be too much.

I took off, and no one followed, thankfully.

I really couldn’t tell how bad Swerve’s wounds were, but I figured if they were serious enough someone would be taking him to get checked out. I found myself hovering around the medical room, and after a while I did see a group of folks half carrying Swerve as he tried to walk himself there unassisted.

I watched for a while as Swerve made his unsteady way until I felt like I would be seen if I stayed any longer. The moment I turned to walk away though, I heard a thud, a grunt, and a muttered curse. I turned back to see that Swerve had fallen, finally losing his balance. Without thinking, I rushed forward, reaching for his shoulder to help right him. He looked up just in time to viciously smack my hand away before it could make contact.

“...Told you… Keep away...” He muttered, and when his eyes steadied in their sockets long enough to focus on my face above him, he spat his own blood at me. A sick, gurgling laughter escaped him as I recoiled from it. Normally that was the kind of disrespectful shit that would piss me the fuck off, but he looked so pathetic in that moment, so small and battered. Besides, I was more than familiar with Swerve’s blood at that point.

As he sat bleeding on the floor before me I knew that he wasn’t a threat. His acts of aggression triggered no real response. I simply shook my head at him and walked away.

He had provided yet another reminder. A reinforcement of his previous warning that I was to keep away from him. I wasn’t sure why I kept finding ways to poke at that boundary, but ever since our last match, when I turned around on the ramp and tried to go back to him, tried to check on him… And everyone screamed… It’s like I left a piece of myself in the ring with Swerve that night. I’d gone so far that there was no going back, but the most stubborn part of my brain just couldn’t let it go, couldn’t let me forget that piece of myself that he still had.

Outside the medical room was the last time I saw Swerve for a while, but I felt like the tale of our brief encounter was talked about and passed around the locker room, because the next time I was in the ring it was for a Casino Gauntlet match, and Ricochet decided to use Swerve’s music as part of his entrance. He’d clearly done so as a way to fuck with me. I’ll admit at the time I was shocked as all hell to hear those familiar notes and Swerve’s own voice calling out “Whose house?”.

Of course, the cameramen covering the ring action all shoved their lenses in my face as soon as it happened, but I think I gave a pretty normal reaction. It was pure shock that I felt, and then irritation as I realized what that dumbass Ricochet had been up to. It was a cheap tactic employed by a clueless outsider to the situation. I wondered for a moment if Ricochet really wanted to do battle with myself and Swerve at the same time... Talk about a deathwish. He needed to be more careful about who he fucked with and who he pissed off, but I was sure he’d find that out for himself in due time.

After the match though, Ricochet pushed his luck and got in my face backstage. He cawed at me like some demented bird before he spoke. “You like my new entrance, Hangman? Hey, don’t worry, I’ll give Swerve his music back, IF he ever comes back.”

“If?” I asked him, but he was already walking away. Unfortunately Jay White was close by and heard the whole exchange. He wasted no time sidling up to me to annoy me about it.

“If, Adam! If! Because your little arson victim got himself snatched up, didn’t he?” He crowed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I shoved him away, hard. He wheezed with laughter.

“The fuck are you talking about, Jay?” I gruffed, reluctantly falling into step with him as we headed toward the locker rooms. It seemed like he had some information that I clearly didn’t, so playing nice with him for a moment might give me some clue as to what the fuck was going on.

“A little birdy told me that Ricochet made sure Swerve wouldn’t be able to show up around here for a while. I heard that he’s not dead, though, so don’t worry too much.”

“So… What does that mean? Did Ricochet put him in the hospital for real?”

“No, no I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s something more carnal than that. I think it’s more of a sex dungeon situation. I think Swerve went there willingly! Don’t be jealous though, Adam. If you can move on, so can he.”

I rolled my eyes, but held my tongue on any insults or tellings off. I wanted to ask Jay what he meant by If you can move on, so can he but I figured I shouldn’t ask just yet.

Though I felt that we had kept things pretty low key, maybe some rumors about Orange and I had started getting around. Best thing to do if that were the case would be to act like I had no clue about it. Appearing too concerned would only add more fuel to the rumor mill. Or, more water, I guess? Whatever. I don’t know how mills work. I grew up on a farm, but not the kind with mills.

I was concerned with this story about Swerve willingly going along with Ricochet to be, what? Shibari-d up somewhere? Kept from shows? Even if it was all in the name of getting some ass, the Swerve I knew would never deny the opportunity to compete, or even make an appearance. No, something wasn’t adding up.

“How do you know about any of this?” I asked Jay flatly.

He glanced sidelong at me, a knowing grin spreading across his face, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “Right place, right time. Now, if you want any more information than that, you’re gonna have to make it worth my while.”

He stopped suddenly and faced me, crossing his arms and giving me a challenging stare.. We had made our way to a deserted area of the arena underbelly with nothing but the echoes of the cheering crowd and some flickering fluorescent lights buzzing nearby.

“...You want money, or something?” I asked hesitantly as I turned to face him.

“Cut the bullshit, Adam.” Jay whispered, abruptly moving in close to me.

I moved away until my back hit the corridor wall behind, but Jay stayed with me, arms on either side of my head to box me in. He slid his thigh between my legs and brought his face up close to mine.

“You know what I want. It’s been so long, Adam. One more taste is all I’m asking for.” He purred. His eyes searched my face with lowered lids. He moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue and I found myself watching with a not nothing level of interest. On top of that, his stupid, sexy, love potion, pine cologne was permeating my brain again.

“Goddammit, Jay…” I grumbled, raising my hands to push him off me. Of course, once I made contact with his rock hard torso it's like all the strength left my body. Irritating as he was, Jay was fucking hot, and it had always been difficult for me to resist him. It had been years since he’d tried anything with me, but since we had been locking up so often lately, I figured it would only be a matter of time before he wanted some out-of-the-ring action as well.

“You’ll tell me everything you know?” I asked, and Jay was already sucking on my neck.

“Mm-hmm!” He mumbled against my skin. His hands found my chest and he began teasing my nipples as he ground his thigh against my crotch. He licked up the side of my neck and nibbled my earlobe, groaning lecherously.

“Ugh! Okay, but you have to shut the fuck up. For once in your life.” I said, finally finding the strength to push him away. “And let’s at least go into a locker room or something.” I suggested.

Jay pantomimed zipping his lips, then grabbed my hand and towed me along until we finally found a deserted room. I followed him inside and watched as he walked over to the showers and turned them on.

“Good idea.” I said gratefully as I began peeling off my sweaty gear. I struggled for a moment trying to take off each of my boots while balancing on one leg. By the time I was finally nude, Jay was already under the spray waiting on me. He leaned back against the shower wall, hips pushed forward, thrusting his hard cock into his hand while staring me down. He looked, uh, good.

I found myself rushing forward, and we met under the steamy water, lips crashing, slick bodies sliding together. Jay was like a starved man: biting, kissing, and licking me all over. He left deep red hickies on my neck and my chest that I could tell would last for a while. He was giving me so much attention that it was almost overstimulating, but in the end I enjoyed getting lost in it. I kissed him back and pulled his hair (something I recall him liking from our New Japan days). While we made out, our cocks kept bumping and sliding together, sending me sweet shocks of pleasure here and there, but it wasn’t enough.

I snaked a hand between our soaking wet bodies and grasped Jay’s cock. His mouth fell open in pleasure as I began to stroke him, and before long he was doing the same to me. The water felt amazing and helped keep things slippery, and we pumped at each other as we continued to make out. I won’t lie, I was having a very nice time despite it being Jay that I was doing it with. Just when I started to feel close to cumming though, Jay released me and took a step back.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, blinking against the stray drops of water hitting my face.

Jay pretended to unzip his lips. “You’re gonna have to give me more than this.” He explained, gesturing between us.

“What, a steamy shower handjob isn’t good enough for you now?” I asked, incredulous.

“Not for the kind of info I’ve got!” He said, reaching out and running his fingers teasingly around the head of my cock. I shuddered.

“Fuck, Jay, what do you want then?” I asked him, frustration creeping into my voice.

“Oh, you know I love it when you get all whiny for me.” He said, and he moved in to suck on my lips some more. Fucking pervert. He was teasing me and getting off on it.

“Just tell me what you want.” I almost pleaded. I pulled him closer, my fingers digging into his skin.

“You’re already giving it to me…” He purred, and his hand found my cock again. He tightened his grip and pumped at me fast and rough. I cried out and my knees went weak, but Jay wound an arm behind my back to hold me steady and close. His lips found my nipple and he teased it relentlessly with his tongue while he worked me. I was panting, feeling myself careening close to climax again when he abruptly released me and backed away for the second time.

“Fuck!” I groaned. My cock throbbed in protest, and I’m sure my face was a mask of pure frustration.

Jay watched me and bit his lip. He stroked himself as he drank in the sight of me, clearly getting off on the fact that he was expertly edging my ass. I felt a blush creep up my neck and chest. It was always games with this fucking guy.

“Just let me cum and let’s be done with this.” I suggested, agitation rising by the second.

“Oh, I’ll let you cum, Adam. The only question is how.”

He took a moment to think, but an idea seemed to come to him quickly.

“I bet you want it so badly that you’ll let me fuck that thick cowboy ass of yours right now, won’t you?” He asked.

For a moment I didn’t speak. I only glared at him. How could he still know me, know my body this well after so long? It was embarrassing. “Fine. Whatever you want.” I muttered, turning from him, bending at the waist, and bracing myself against the shower wall.

Jay groaned softly from behind at the sight of me, and his hand came forward to caress my ass for a moment before he spoke. “No, Adam. This won’t do. I want to watch your pretty face while I fuck you.”

He got down on his knees and gestured to the wet tile floor in front of him, directly beneath the spray. I took his meaning and arranged myself before him, lying on my back and scooting my ass close to his lap.

He stared down at me with something almost like reverence, his hands smoothing up and down my thighs, easing them apart. One hand dipped low, and I felt a shower-slick finger start to tease my entrance.

I hadn’t bottomed in a while, so I wasn’t sure how ready I’d be, but Jay took his time. He used one hand to stroke my cock as he opened me up, eventually adding a second finger to my ass, and then a third.

It wasn’t long before I was writhing and panting on the floor, biting my lip to stop from asking for more. It struck me then that Jay and I had amazing sexual chemistry, actually. If only he wasn’t such an insufferable shit head, maybe we could do this more often.

“Look at me, Adam.” Jay instructed. “Don’t look away.”

I did as he asked, and felt him finally start to push his cock into me. I watched the way his eyes practically melted as he felt me open up for him, how his lips parted in pleasure, the heat that rose in his cheeks as he pushed in deeper.

I suddenly wanted to kiss him, and my eyes locked onto his lips. As soon as he had pushed in all the way, he bent forward and gave me what I’d silently asked for. His hips began moving as his lips clung to mine, and god damn, it all felt so good.

I reached up and cranked the shower water hotter, and Jay groaned appreciatively. He started fucking me in earnest, hips snapping against my ass as his hand returned to stroke my cock. It was hard to keep from moaning, and small whimpers still escaped me as Jay eventually upped his speed and intensity.

What was weird though, is that he stared at me the whole time. Sometimes it was direct eye contact, sometimes it was long, sweeping gazes up and down my body, like he was trying to commit every inch of me to memory. Every so often my name would even drop from his lips in this soft, adoring tone.

It was probably the first time I’d ever seen something remotely vulnerable from Jay, and it made me view him in a different light. A light that I…liked? I wasn’t sure, but I tried to stuff the new, weird feelings and confusion down for the time being because I was seriously about to blow.

“Jay?” I panted out between barely restrained moans. I guess I was asking permission in some fucked up way.

“Yes, Adam. Cum for me.” Jay replied, driving in deeper, squeezing my cock and pumping it faster.

My orgasm hit me like an 18-wheeler, and holy shit, I shot higher than I think I ever have before. Even Jay exclaimed in surprise. Soon afterward he was cumming too, fucking me with sharp, stuttering thrusts and draining himself inside of me. His shouts of climax echoed off the tile walls, and then the only sound was the shower running as we caught our breath.

After a while we finally got out of the shower and began to dry off, but I was feeling… strange in the aftermath. Why had that gone so well? Why had it felt like more than just a sexual favor? I glanced over at Jay. He was already looking at me.

“Jay…” I began, struggling to find the right way to ask. I decided to just be blunt and blurt it out. “Are you… In love with me or something?”

His eyebrows shot up and a bark of laughter exploded out of him. He actually doubled over and cackled until tears welled in his eyes. I don’t know what I expected.

“Forget it.” I spat. I started gathering up my clothing as his laughter finally bled out of him. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my shoulder before spinning me around and pinning me with a piercing stare.

“I like you, Adam. But you’re a rival, and I could never have those kind of cute, lovey dovey feelings for you unless I thoroughly destroyed you, and knocked you out of the world title picture for good. However, you are without a doubt the finest piece of ass on this side of the planet. It’s a great and powerful lust I feel for you, dear Adam. Besides, I’d never get in the way of you and your boy toy Swerve. Unless you really wanted me too. I mean, I’ve always had a thing for Swerve. I could probably fall in love with him, but not you, Adam. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, shut up.” I muttered, swatting at Jay. It was honestly a relief to hear how he felt, and in the end I felt closer to and less irritated by him than I had in a long while. His teasing had even lost some of its malice. Maybe… He was okay. The thought sobered me up, and I recalled why we had even done any of this in the first place.

“All right. Now you owe me information, and it better be something damn good.” I said firmly, poking my finger into his chest.

“Whose house?” Jay replied, and abruptly began doing the stupid Prince Nana dance, totally nude. “Whose house? Whose house? Whose house?” He repeated, like he was doing half the chant. God, this motherfucker really had clown blood.

I shook my head at him in shocked confusion. “Can you be normal, ever? Like, really, are you okay? In the head?”

He kept chanting and dancing around until he seemed to have gotten bored of it and had slightly winded himself.

“Adam, unless my dick happens to be on or in you, you really are the most boring cowboy in the west. Don’t ever forget that. Whose house? Ricochet’s house. Swerve is being kept in Ricochet’s home. Basement, from what I heard. God, I miss Juice.”

And with that, he pulled his clothes on and walked right out of the room, leaving me alone with my bewilderment at his behavior. “Maybe he was okay”? What was I thinking? Jay White is and will always be a menace, dick game notwithstanding. At least he’d made good on his end of our bargain, assuming his intel was correct…

Even though I’d gotten the intel I wanted, I still hesitated about what I should do. Should I really go and try to help Swerve? Just like when he was getting kicked around in the ring, he really didn’t have anyone else to come save him.

I decided I’d make up my mind about what to do on the plane.