Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

And one day you stopped talking to me. You stopped seeing me. And you left forgetting about me. If I was really so important, then why did you leave? 

Why did you leave me, Shinobu?

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.

.

"First you must lay out the blankets, which will serve as a base" the alpha explained, as she arranged the blankets and other items on the omega's bed. Shinobu stifled a giggle and hummed in agreement. She found it charming and amusing to see the younger girl take the task of teaching her how to build a nest so seriously. 

Honestly, she was only joking when she told Nezuko that she had never built a nest before. Of course she knew how to do it, she had helped Kanae build her own when she was still alive. But part of her wanted to see how the young alpha would react to the confession. 

Don't worry, Shinobu-san! I'll show you how to build the perfect nest!

The way Nezuko spoke and moved, with such charisma and enthusiasm, made her inner wolf purr with satisfaction as she followed the whole procedure closely. "...- and then come the cushions and soft, quilted fabrics, they go on top of the blankets. Make sure you distribute them well or some parts will be too lumpy or hollow and it won't be comfortable. Are you listening to me?"

" Yes, yes." Shinobu nodded with mock seriousness while inwardly wondering if the Kamado understood the true significance of an alpha helping an omega build her nest. She probably didn't — or at least that's what the Insect Hashira gathered from the genuine expression of innocent concentration on the other's face.— 

The simple act of building a nest is considered a sacred and intimate ritual. More than that. It was a refuge that provided comfort and security to the omegas in times of stress or when their emotions were scattered or out of control. In some cases the nest is also used during the days before and during the rut. However, it was always built by the omega. The only exception was when the omega was expecting a cub. In those cases, it was the alpha who took the reins and was in charge of preparing a nest. Built from blankets and clothing impregnated with their scent so that both their omega and their cub would feel comfortable and protected.

But Shinobu was not expecting a cub. And Nezuko was not her alpha. 

" I see you're quite the expert at this " she commented with a smile, watching as the alpha carefully put everything together. 

There was no denying it. The nest looked extremely comfortable and the purple-eyed omega was already looking forward to lying in it. Nezuko paused for a moment and looked at her with those big, bright pink eyes that always filled the eldest's stomach with butterflies and increased her heartbeat by the minute.

It was impossible not to succumb to the charm of the Kamado siblings.  

"Yes, I learned to do that when I was little " the alpha replied happily. " Sometimes, when my younger siblings asked, I would build a huge nest in our living room so we could all sleep together."

Shinobu imagined the scene with a smile. " That sounds lovely. It must have been wonderful to have all your siblings around."

The black haired girl nodded wistfully as she remembered those times. "Yes, it was one of my favourite activities. I always enjoyed taking care of them and making sure they were all comfortable and happy. Including Tanjirou, who had a habit of neglecting himself. "

And her life would probably have followed that direction, if not for Kibutsuji Muzan's abrupt interruption in her life. That bastard-

"Ara ara ~ Is that why you offered to help me build my nest? Are you taking care of me? " she asked playfully, wanting to provoke a reaction in the other girl.  Her expressions were too adorable to waste the opportunity to tease her. Besides, she wanted to wipe that grim expression off the alpha's normally cheerful face. It didn't suit her.

Quickly, Nezuko's cheeks turned a reddish hue and her eyes flashed with a mixture of shyness and embarrassment.  ‘Well... yes, I suppose so,’ she stammered." But it's not the same... you're different."

Oh? The omega raised an eyebrow, enjoying how the younger girl became a bundle of nerves in her presence. So adorable. 

" 'Different’ in what way?’ she pressed, taking a step closer to the slightly taller girl. 

"Uh, you're... special" Nezuko muttered under her breath, avoiding the older girl's inquisitive gaze. "...I really care about you and I wish I could see you smile more often."

Shinobu blinked several times, pretending not to understand. "I smile all the time."

"Not that smile... " she snorted, avoiding looking directly into those beautiful, intense, compound-looking purple eyes. Bright and pupil-less. Similar to those of an insect. "I want to see a genuine smile. One that fills your eyes with brightness. One that dispels that aura of anger that seems to constantly surround you. I want to see Kochou Shinobu's true smile."

The implication behind Nezuko's words was as clear as the sky was blue, the roses red and the grass green. Shinobu felt her eyes water a little. A mixture of anger, surprise, sadness, pain and warmth flooded his chest all at once. The sincerity in the girl's words was too refreshing and Oh so overwhelming that for a moment she didn't know how to respond. 

 
She had spent so much time pretending to be someone else. Trying to realise a dream she frankly didn't think was possible or rational for the sole purpose of keeping the memory of her beloved sister alive. Sometimes she wondered: Who was Kochou Shinobu? 

_______

Her sister's haori was stained, the once light grey fabric with the distinctive butterfly wing pattern now drenched in a dark red that made her stomach twist. Blood trickled from the corners of her mouth and chin. Not to mention the dark puddle they stood over that Shinobu had been desperately trying to ignore. First it was her parents. Now the universe was trying to take Kanae away from her as well. Shinobu was angry.

If there really was a God up there, could he perhaps take pity on her and not take her sister away from her?  This was not fair. Not fair at all.

A soft, loving hand caressed her cheek, drawing her out of her thoughts and wiping away a stray tear. "Shinobu... " a voice called out softly. The look Kanae was giving her burned. There were so many emotions swirling in those beautiful lilac eyes. Love. Sorrow. Sadness. Guilt. "Stay away from the demon slayers.... I know you're working very hard, and you really are. But maybe it's best if you get out.... I want you to be happy like any other girl. And live to be many years old. That... for me would be enough. "

But she stubbornly refused. How could her sister ask such a thing at a time like this? " No! I'll never give up! And I swear I'll avenge you! Just tell me! What was the demon that left you like this?! " she demanded desperately " Just tell me, Nee-san! Please! I can't live peacefully after knowing that someone did this to you!"

Kanae had never felt so broken. She knew... she knew that nothing good was going to come of this. She knew her younger sister very well and she was afraid of how far Shinobu would be willing to go just to fulfill the plan she must already be scheming in her head. But she also knew that she would go crazy if she didn't speak up. If she didn't tell her what she wanted to know.

Silent tears began to leak from her eyes as she remembered. "He was a demon with blood stains on his head. His weapons are a pair. He always flashes a carefree smile. He speaks to you with a gentle and calm tone, but around him it's so cold... so cold.... " Her eyes began to slowly close and in her last breath she murmured. ‘I feel sorry... for that demon. "

Her hand fell limply next to the hilt of her sword, whose blade was broken in half.

" NEE-SAN! "

_______

Nezuko seemed to sense the emotional storm that had raged inside her and did not press her to speak. Instead, she continued to work in silence. 

Shinobu watched as the young alpha delicately smoothed the non-existent wrinkles out of the Hashira's butterfly-winged haori before placing it in the centre of the nest she had so painstakingly prepared. The younger girl stood back with a beaming smile lighting up her entire face, proud of her work.

" I'm finished, Shinobu-san!"she exclaimed with joy and satisfaction. Shinobu assessed the result and had to admit that it was perfect.  However, her inner wolf was still restless and unsatisfied. Something was missing. Deep down she knew perfectly well what that ‘something’ was.

"Something is missing." the omega pointed out calmly. Nezuko blinked in confusion. She was sure she had followed all the steps correctly. She did a little mental review. Had she skipped any important details?

Without a word, the Kochou reached over and gently tugged on the right sleeve of the alpha's pink asanoha print haori, silently asking her to take it off. Nezuko froze for a moment, her pink eyes wide as she processed what Shinobu was trying to do. A slight blush covered the tips of her ears as she finally understood.

" Oh... Oh! " she murmured softly, before removing the garment and handing it to Shinobu. The Insect Hashira held the younger girl's haori as if it were the most precious object in the world, subtly inhaling the warm, fresh, woody scent that wafted from the fabric. Her inner wolf shrieked with joy at the alpha's scent permeating the garment, wallowing in a frenzy of happiness. With calculated movements, Shinobu placed Nezuko's haori in the centre of the nest. Overlapping her own. And without waiting another minute, she climbed into the nest.

Perfect. Shinobu thought, purring. The sound was strange to her own ears, quite out of tune and out of sync from years of disuse, but that didn't matter to the omega. The Kamado watched in awe as the elder curled up like a cat on top of both haoris. She felt a surge of warmth and contentment settle in her chest at the sight of the omega so comfortable and relaxed among the blankets and pillows she had arranged for her. So pretty.

Maybe she shouldn't ask. But she couldn't help but do so anyway.

"May I...?" Nezuko asked shyly, pointing to the empty space next to Shinobu.

The omega nodded with a smile, making room for Nezuko to settle in next to her. The younger girl wasted no time and slipped into the nest, snuggling close to the Hashira but not touching her, respecting her personal space. Both remained silent. Enjoying the warmth and comfort their little safe space provided. Shinobu could feel the warmth radiating from Nezuko's body, it was like a body warmer, and her soft, comforting scent wrapped around her like an invisible blanket.

Is this how mum felt when she let dad, Kanae and I cuddle with her in her nest?

"Nezuko " she whispered after a while, staring at the alpha's face. 

" Mm?"

"Thank you."

" For what? " she asked, her eyes sparkling with innocent curiosity.

"For being you... " Shinobu replied simply, her purple eyes meeting Nezuko's pink ones. "For seeing the real me and not just... the image I project."

Nezuko smiled, a smile so warm and bright that Shinobu felt her own heart melt, filled with affection for this girl. She reached out a hand to gently caress the omega's cheek with her thumb and Shinobu leaned into the contact. Hungry for more. " I've always seen you, Shinobu. From the very first moment."

Are you angry? 

Ah, I'm sorry! It's just... the colour of your aura is beautiful. I've never seen such a beautiful shade of purple. But it also... it has red gradations that turn black the closer it get to the centre. That's why I deduced that you're angry. 

Shinobu stopped breathing, for a few seconds. The young alpha's intense gaze pierced her like an arrow, as if it could see straight into her soul. She felt vulnerable and exposed but strangely that didn't bother her. With Nezuko, she felt safe.

"And what do you see?" she asked in a whisper, her voice trembling slightly.

She smiled tenderly, leaning a little closer "I see a strong and kind woman, who suffers and has endured so much pain but still fights to stay afloat. Someone smart and savvy, with a sense of humour as sharp as a sword. A person who cares deeply about others. An angry omega. But most of all " she paused, her eyes shining with an emotion Shinobu dared not name. " ... I see a beautiful woman, inside and out."

The Insect Hashira felt a lump form in her throat. No one had ever described her like this before. No one had ever seen beyond her carefully constructed façade. No one who knew her would dare call her beautiful if they knew what was inside her head. If they knew the crazy things she was willing to do to quench her thirst for revenge. 

Unbidden, a lone tear slid down her cheek. Nezuko caught it with her thumb, gently caressing her face.  " It's okay " she murmured. " You don't have to be strong all the time. Not with me."

And with those words, something inside Shinobu snapped. Years of pent up emotions came to the surface and before she knew it she was sobbing in the younger girl's arms. The pink-eyed black-haired girl held her tightly, stroking her head and murmuring words of comfort. Kochou let the tears flow freely, washing away years of accumulated pain, self-loathing and loneliness.

She didn't know how long she spent like that, crying and being comforted. But when she finally calmed down, Shinobu realised that she felt lighter, as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. All was not well. It would take more than that for the omega to completely let go of all her anger and pain. But it was a step in the right direction.

" I'm sorry " she muttered, wiping her eyes. "I didn't mean to..."

"Shh " Nezuko interrupted her gently. "Don't apologize. I'm here for you, angel."

Angel...

Shinobu looked up, meeting Nezuko's eyes.  There was so much warmth in there, so much understanding that she felt her heart swell once more. How she hadn't gone into cardiac arrest because of the alpha's gentleness was a complete mystery. Without a second thought, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against the Kamado girl's. A soft, tentative kiss.  

The younger girl froze for a moment, surprised, before reacting and responding to the kiss with equal tenderness.  

It was sweet and chaste, just a brush of lips, but to the little butterfly it felt as if she had finally found her place in the world. A beautiful flower to perch and rest in after being swept away countless times by the strong currents of air. When they parted, both were rosy-cheeked and bright-eyed.

" I... I hope that was okay " Shinobu murmured, feeling suddenly shy.  

Where did all your confidence go, Kochou? 

Nezuko smiled broadly. "More than fine." she replied, leaning in eagerly for another kiss.

This time, it was deeper, more passionate. Shinobu tangled her fingers in the younger girl's hair, drawing her closer as the alpha slid a hand around her lower back. Their lips moved in perfect synchronicity, as if they were made for each other. 

Unfortunately they were both still human and needed oxygen. So they broke apart, panting slightly. Shinobu felt dizzy with bliss. She had never experienced anything like this before. It was intoxicating, addictive and she loved it.

" Nezuko" she whispered, caressing the alpha's cheek. " Stay with me tonight. Please."

Nezuko's eyes lit up and she nodded energetically. "Always." she murmured, hugging the omega closer. Only Hinokami and Tanjirou knew how much she had longed to be able to hold the older girl in her arms like this.  "Whenever you need me, I'll be here."

Snuggling into the nest the alpha had built, their bodies fitting together perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle. Shinobu felt for the first time in years that she could completely lower her defenses. With Nezuko by her side she felt safe. 

Protected. 

Loved. 

Happy. 

Alive. 

Feelings she thought she could never feel again after her home was desecrated by a despicable being who took away the most important person in her life. And as she drifted off to sleep, lulled by the strong, steady beat of the younger girl's heart. Shinobu knew immediately that she had found something precious, something worth protecting with all her strength

.

.

.

She could have had the fairytale romance that Kanae had dreamed of for her when she was still alive. A happy life full of love. Surrounded by her five little foster sisters. A perfect alpha. Maybe a cub or two in the future.  Her story could have been something beautiful and perfect, if only she hadn't thrown away Nezuko's trust and feelings. All for what? 

I wish I could go back in time and act differently, but I know I can't change what happened. Forgive me, Nezuko. I'm a selfish idiot and I'll understand if after this you decide to hate me for the rest of your life. 

‘ ...- tell me your last words. I'm listening.’ 

Alpha...

It hurts. 

It's cold. 

Kanao...

I'm scared. 

Save me. 

Aoi...

I'm sorry...

It hurts.

Girls...

Kanae...

I don't want to die. 

" Go to hell, you fucking bastard. "

Chapter Text

For most of her life, Kochou Shinobu had never cared about alphas.

People assumed that omegas, like her, were especially susceptible to the presence of other crests; that sooner or later they would feel that buzzing in their nerves, that underlying longing described in the novels of the time. She was supposed to belong to someone, her instincts were supposed to be so powerful that they would overshadow reason, her heart was supposed to race when she first met her alpha.

But that never happened.

Shinobu never experienced what others described. Perhaps, she thought, there was something wrong with her. Kanae always insisted that there wasn't, that she was perfect just the way she was, but even her words couldn't erase the feeling that her body was... broken.

To tell the truth, she never felt particularly "omega."

Her sleep patterns were chaotic, she ate poorly, and she spent most of her hormonal cycles either medicated or working so obsessively that she missed the symptoms until it was too late. The animal pull described in the books never happened to her, not even during her first heat.

She clearly remembered the silent disappointment on Kanae's face when she told her that her experience had been different from hers. Her older sister dreamed of a fairy tale story, with destiny engraved in the molecules of her skin, with inevitable romance and eternal bonds. And perhaps that was why the older sister's first heat had been almost painless. Shinobu's first heat, on the other hand, was a nightmare filled with vomiting, dizziness, and pain so acute that she had to be sedated to keep her calm. When it was finally over, the fourteen-year-old woke up furious, her throat dry from dehydration and the uncomforting feeling that her body had betrayed her.

At first, hunters her age—even those of higher rank—treated her like just another beta and stared wide-eyed at Kanae every time she entered a room. Her sister was the prototype of the perfect omega: elegant even when running, polite, kind, with a voice as sweet as butter cookies and a smile capable of conveying calm and warmth to anyone who received it. Shinobu, on the other hand, was bold, direct, somewhat aggressive, and prone to responding to sarcasm with sarcasm.

But just a month after her body finally decided to differentiate itself as omega, everything changed. Alphas and betas began to notice her. All it took was for them to pay attention to the scent of her pheromones—a soft blend of glycine and jasmine—for them to start gravitating around her, each trying to get her attention.

Shinobu wasn't fooled.

She watched them with a cynical eye, men and women alike, every time they appeared at the mansion or when she was paired with one on a mission. Even when she went to the village near the Butterfly mansion to buy supplies with her sister. She saw them acting as if the world belonged to them, as if gravity was at their service, and none of it moved her. In fact, it repelled her.

In her opinion, alphas were nothing more than fighting cocks. Arrogant, competitive, and egotistical, she wondered how so many omegas could succumb to them, if they really had nothing special about them other than being a key to reproduction, apparently. Her skepticism turned into study: she filled notebooks with observations on chemical reactions, drew diagrams on the neurobiology of attachment, made endless lists of myths about bonds, tenderness, "destiny," and convinced herself that everything related to love and mating was manipulable, reducible to science, neurochemistry, and evolution.

Did she want an Alpha in her life? No. 

Did she need one? Even less.

Not even normal, boring betas interested her.

Kanae joked that she would only find her ideal partner if that person turned out to be a textbook, since that was the only thing she paid attention to, and although Shinobu pretended to be annoyed, deep down she accepted it. Dreaming of relationships seemed like a waste of time to her. It was better to focus on the tangible: healing, killing demons, being useful.

She was so convinced that she had everything figured out that she didn't see the one variable her science couldn't explain coming. She didn't even realize it until it was right in front of her.

The first encounter was a disaster, yes. She was in a bad mood, she hadn't slept well in weeks, and to top it all off, her boss called her in to assign her a mission with Tomioka, of all people. But Shinobu hid her annoyance very well, controlling the flow of her pheromones, keeping a smile on her face and a friendly, relaxed expression. Just as she had learned to do since Kanae died.

Not in a million years would she have imagined that her life would change so much after that mission on Mount Natagumo.

Snowflakes fell like drops of water from the sky, piling up and covering the ground with a soft white blanket that spread across the grounds of the mansion and over the branches of the trees. Painting an ethereal picture for the viewer's eyes.

It was twenty minutes before six in the morning. The freezing winter air seeped through the corridors and into the rooms of the residents of the Butterfly mansion, who were still in the sweet embrace of Morpheus at that hour. A small, pale hand emerged from under the blankets, groping blindly across the bed until her fingers brushed against a solid, warm lump just a few inches away. Without needing to check where or to whom that delightful source of warmth belonged, she crawled until she was pressed against it.

Almost instantly, a pair of strong arms wrapped loosely around her body, pulling her closer and sheltering her from the cruel winter.

Shinobu sighed contentedly and melted into the embrace.

Her nose ended up pressed against the other's collarbone. There, where the pheromones were concentrated with an almost poisonous density. She inhaled long and deep, filling her lungs with that perfect combination of sandalwood and orange, and exhaled with a silent sigh.

Nezuko murmured something unintelligible in her sleep, pressing her a little closer to his chest, and a soft, sweet purr escaped from his chest as he settled down to continue sleeping peacefully next to his love.

Three soft knocks on the door brought her out of her reverie.

"Shinobu-sama," Aoi called from the hallway. "Breakfast will be ready in fifteen minutes."

The omega murmured something like "in a moment" without moving an inch from her position. Nezuko stirred slightly, her arms tightening possessively around Shinobu's waist even in her sleep.

"Five more minutes..." the alpha whispered hoarsely, pressing her nose against the older woman's black hair.

But those five minutes turned into ten, and then fifteen. Neither of them seemed willing to break the bubble of intimacy they had created inside their nest. The outside world could wait a little longer.

Shinobu allowed herself this moment of weakness, this moment where she didn't have to be the Insect Hashira, where she didn't have to smile constantly to hide the ugliest parts of herself or plan revenge or worry about missions or her patients. Here, in Nezuko's arms, she could simply be Shinobu. Just Shinobu.

"Nezuko..." she murmured, drawing lazy circles on the alpha's chest with the tip of her finger.

"Mmm?" she replied, her eyes half-closed.

"You haven't given me my good morning kiss yet..."

A soft, playful growl vibrated in the other's chest, and the black-haired girl could feel the corners of her lips curving into a smile against her hair.

"Oh, really? And is that mandatory now?" she asked in a raspy voice, full of tenderness.

"Of course," Shinobu replied with feigned seriousness, raising her head to look at her. Nezuko's pink eyes sparkled with a warmth that always managed to melt all of the omega's defenses. "It's a matter of life and death. As a doctor, I can guarantee that my survival depends on it."

Nezuko let out a soft, lazy laugh, bringing one of her hands up to brush a few strands of black hair away from Shinobu's face.

"Well... I can't let my omega wither away due to medical negligence," she whispered, before placing a slow, lingering kiss on her forehead.

"That doesn't count," Shinobu protested, even though her heart was beating fast. "I need complete treatment."

"Oh, really? And what would that protocol be, Kochou-sensei?" The smile the younger girl gave her made the Insect Hashira's stomach flip. Even after three months together, the alpha still managed to make her nervous with a simple glance.

The omega pointed to her left cheek.

"First here... then here..."—the right side—"then here..."—she touched the tip of her nose—"and finally..."

She didn't have to finish the sentence. Nezuko followed the instructions to the letter, pressing soft, warm kisses on each indicated spot, taking her time with each one. When she finally reached her lips, the kiss was slow, sweet... perfect.

When they parted, Shinobu felt dizzy and completely awake at the same time.

"Better?" Nezuko whispered, her warm breath caressing her lips.

"Much better," Shinobu replied, curling up against her chest again. "But... I think I'll need regular doses throughout the day to maintain the effect."

She arched an eyebrow playfully.

" Did I? "

The smaller one nodded with her eyes closed.

" Yes. You're my alpha, so you have to take care of me."

Her words elicited another laugh from the younger girl, the sound vibrating against the omega's ear in a way that sent shivers down her spine.

"I think I can arrange that, angel."