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It started off with a kiss.
Simple, small, a speck on the lips.
And it went beyond that.
Each time, Tahira would kiss Nataana deeper—
Stronger.
But they didn’t mind it.
Tahira was somewhat of a tough lover.
She meant well, Nataana knew.
-
Tahira used to hate bugs, they were too much for her.
But with time, she grew to appreciate them. Especially moths.
Moths. She believed they were an edgier, darker version of a butterfly—
Although they were far more lively than one.
The first time she held a moth, was with Nataana—
Nataana had picked up a moth that was on the window, and handed it to Tahira.
Her big hands, soft and smooth, in comparison to Tahira’s own.
Her hands weren’t like Nataana’s. They were dirty and rough and callous.
Tahira never minded her hands. She was used to holding the razor with it—
But now? She felt kind of embarrassed.
She had also grown to notice how fuzzy and silky Nataana’s hair was.
Although she was a depressive woman, she was good at taking care of herself.
Tahira looked at them, her eyes weren’t as crystalline as Nataana’s.
She considered it to be cruel of them, as ethereal as a jellyfish.
Untouchable.
-
But Nataana just smiled at her, that soft smile.
Tahira let the moth go, and as it flew away, she didn’t look at it.
She looked at them; ethereally beautiful, tender, smooth.
How did they even click together?
It didn’t matter! Tahira was happy to be with Nataana.
She hoped the latter felt the same wave hitting them, of a feeling deeper than they could explain.
-
It would be a kiss or two during the day, but if Nataana seemed particularly sad, Tahira wouldn’t mind kissing her a third time.
Everyone was surprised— the loud, hyper girl with the ethereal, quiet girl.
But it was something Kairi noticed; “it will pass, soon. You two are too… very unlikely. The ocean and the storm… they are messy together.”
And considering Tahira’s profile, it wasn’t unlikely it would.
Just like a fixation was would pass soon, an admiration that would grow to envy before it dissipated like water on her hands.
Xiomara tried telling Kairi to look at it more positively, they were trying something new and they seemed happy together.
Kairi kept her mouth shut after that.
Tahira laughed it off, a laugh similar to when she asked for Freyja’s Adderall or Nora seeing the girls’ antics in the hospital.
It was pleasant, genuine— but it held a concern in it.
-
Tahira was scared.
She was scared she would end up hurting Nataana.
After all, they are delicate, and lips like theirs must be kissed softly.
But Tahira was never soft.
When Tahira felt the copper in her mouth for the first time in that one intense kiss—
She was worried.
Before it dissipated.
A lip burst, Tahira wasn’t suited for the kind of task of taking care of a woman like Nataana—
Tahira imagined that Nataana was more selfish than she let on.
But it almost made her feel guilty.
Just almost.
-
Tahira remembers the first time Nataana hugged her, that scent of a perfect blue flower— a perfume impossible to forget.
She played with their hair, and it seemingly didn’t bother them at all.
Sometimes, she wished Nataana would react a bit more.
Be less passive, be more assertive.
But when they held her hand, asking to not leave because she was sad, Tahira felt desperate. Like Nataana was a yummy treat that contained poison, it was the equivalent of touching a jellyfish.
Her smooth hands, cold, in comparison to Tahira’s own warm hands.
Tahira believed Nataana was cruel— very cruel to kiss her like that— to hug her like that—
Ask her with those eyes to not leave, not yet.
But she wouldn’t stop her. She was in the highest part of the see-saw of emotions, ecstastic.
It tasted metallic, like copper.
Too tight, an embrace suffocating.
The harsh bites on her neck that were meant to be little kisses.
Red.
It grew bruised.
Tahira swore she never meant it.
But Nataana never believed her.
Because she knew that, deep down, Tahira wanted to tear her open, tear her heart out, or listen to it beat.
To rip her own and give it on a silver platter to Nataana.
Nataana was never this intense.
Tahira was never this calm.
-
When they broke up, Tahira wasn’t too surprised, but she wouldn’t admit to feeling sad. Mad at them.
Nataana acted as if they were divorced, still cordial, sure, but it just wasn’t the same.
And although Kairi had her stoic expression on at all times, there was something in co’s eyes that said, “I told you so.”
It wasn’t a passing fixation from her part, only theirs.
But Tahira would never admit it.
It was not just a passing fixation, it seems.