Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The first thing Claus saw in his new life was Lucas sobbing with joy despite all the dried blood and bruises and burns on him and his striped shirt and fancy cloak torn up all over. The second thing he saw was the beautiful view of space above him thanks to the Dark Dragon he was laying on having flown beyond the stratosphere. He shouldn't have been able to take another breath after his last, but somehow, he did. The Dark Dragon's magic went beyond all logic creating hope where there should have been none, for him and for the planet far beneath him. He could barely move a muscle, but he saw through its eyes the dismal state of the world so much larger than the Nowhere Islands, how it was covered in vast unnatural deserts and clouds of nuclear ash. Only a miracle had spared Nowhere from the cataclysms caused by the Dragon's awakening. He could feel her mourning the world that was lost and sense how she wanted to not only save Nowhere's small slice of paradise, but spread it to the rest of the world and give everything a second chance.

...Even him?

Even though if he'd pulled that final Needle, he might've doomed the entire planet by projecting his feelings onto it, feeling like death was the only way out of his misery? He still felt like that, so how was he alive? Hadn't he decided to...

It was all too much to process. It all felt like a dream, everything muddled in a haze where he couldn't quite remember.

"L-Lucas..." He said in a weak voice, trying to focus only on him. "I'm so sorry." It was a struggle just to sit up, but Lucas held him in his arms. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I shouldn't have gone after the Drago...I shouldn't have worked for Porky..."

"It's not your fault, he forced you to." Lucas's voice was so gentle. It always had been, but not like this: Lucas used to be meek, cowardly even, the anxious mess to be soothed instead of the one doing the soothing. That was Mom's thing.

"I still did it, and he didn't make me go after the Drago..."

"Yeah, but that's not fair! You didn't know goin' after the Drago would get you turned into Porky's robot!" Lucas couldn't hold back his sobs for long.

"I knew it would hurt your feelings! He didn't make me say you'd only get in the way!" Claus said through sniffles. Whatever miracle revived him must have healed his lightning-scorched lungs enough that he could cry his throat hoarse again. "I should've known I was too weak to kill the Drago! I should've known I'd just make you miss me!" It had been three years even though it didn't feel like it. Only now did the pieces start to come together, how Lucas must have mourned him all this time. What had he done? "It doesn't matter if I couldn't remember, I still pulled those needles and k-killed those people, I could've destroyed the world, and I hurt you and Boney and your friends! That's why I killed myself, I deserved it!" He kept crying into Lucas's shoulder. "I don't get it...why am I still here? How did you save me? Why?"

"Because I love you." He said like it was so obvious, like not even all the horrible things he'd done could change it or make him hesitate to forgive him for a second.

"Oh..." Claus said. Part of him wanted to argue and say how much he didn't deserve it, but wouldn't that just be hurting him more? He was too tired to talk much longer, everything was fading out again... "I love you too..."

He closed his eyes and rested his head on Lucas's shoulder. Claus remembered Lucas's smell. Lucas was supposed to smell like sunflowers and wool and Boney's fur, not blood and burnt cloth and teenage body odor and a Stinkbug in his pocket, and his own body reeked of scorched metal and flesh and chemicals despite how both his body and all his cyborg parts were miraculously repaired, his CPU baffled at every diagnostic passed. It didn't feel the way it should have, but Lucas was still alive and tangible, and somehow, so was he. Lucas stroked his hair gently just the way Mom did...

Lucas felt so warm.

...

"We're back, Dad!" Claus tackled Dad in a hug when they got home from Grandpa's cabin, and Lucas soon joined him.

"Sorry it took us so long...it rained real bad on the way back, so we had to hide under some trees for a while." Lucas said.

"And Luke was so scared he kept cryin' about it." Claus teased.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Now, now, Claus, don't be mean." Mom said. "It was reasonable for him to be worried we'd get cold from being rained on. I should've waited until tomorrow, I didn't think the storm would come on so quickly."

"Okay, mom..." Claus said.

"I thought the lightning might start a fire too..." Lucas said.

Claus shuddered.

"What's wrong, Claus?" Dad said. He must have noticed how he was tearing up for some reason he couldn't explain.

"Nothing, I just got this weird feelin' something bad happened..."

"Well, it didn't. We all made it home safely, and that's what matters." Mom said.

Claus hugged her again.

The nightmare of reality returned when he opened his eyes again, this time to the dim lights of a hospital room in what was left of New Pork City. They would've been brighter, but only the reserve power was left after the earthquakes left the electrical grid in tatters. Even his prosthetic eye was able to tear up since the tear ducts were still intact. There were machines and computers and a monitor with his vital signs, medical supplies, an IV hooked up to him, and Lucas and Dr. Andonuts were standing a little bit away, Lucas having bags under his eyes. The ECG flatlined, his prosthetic heart making blood flow at a steady rate instead of contracting like a normal one. Lucas seemed spooked even though he wasn't used to technology like Claus was as the commander. He shouldn't have known what it meant, but even the sound was ominous, and Lucas always seemed to know what he was thinking even before he awakened his PSI. He wasn't wearing his cloak, helmet, jetpack, sword, or cannon anymore, only a hospital gown.

"You're awake! Thank god you're okay, I was so worried!" The way his face lit up with joy made Claus think he'd never appreciated that smile enough. For three years, he'd forgotten all about him, so he hadn't even been able to miss him like he should've. Instead, there had only been this hollow ache in his chest.

"Lucas..? What happened..."

"I thought you were...gone, but the Dark Dragon helped me heal you. Everything's gonna be okay."

Everything? Even if Lucas was fine, what about Boney and his friends and-

"What about Dad, is he okay?! I hurt him so bad, what if he..." Claus went pale and looked at his own mechanical right arm with disgust. No, it wasn't his, he hadn't asked for all these machines to be made part of him like the Drago that killed Mom but he couldn't escape it. Even if he tore the arm off, it was in his eye, his heart, even his brain! He felt sick.

"He's okay, don't worry!" Dad was okay? Instantly a crushing weight was lifted off him, but there was still too much even without that. "Dad's still hurt, but he'll get better. He's in one of the other rooms and Kuma is making sure he's okay, she can heal him if anything goes wrong." Lucas said. "Boney and Duster and Kuma are fine too."

"Don't get up!" Dr. Andonuts said when he sat up before he could get out of the bed and tear out the IV by accident. Again. Faint memories were coming back through the haze of the time after he'd first been operated on three years ago. "Please, you can't move until we're sure you're stable. Your father will be fine, I can promise you that."

"I still hurt him...I'm still a monster..."

"It wasn't your fault, I know you didn't want to do that..." Lucas said trying to hold his shaking left hand and soothe him, but he pulled it away. His still intact hand had been just as treacherous slicing and stabbing at Lucas with that sword over and over.

"It doesn't matter! I can't be trusted with all this metal stuff in me making me a monster, so get it out!" He held down his right arm with his left, not that it would do any good if he went back to that cold emotionless state. "Please..." He wasn't supposed to be the scared one. These turned tables weren't right.

"There's nothing to fear: I ran a full diagnostic while you were asleep, and none of your cybernetics are keeping you under Porky's sway anymore." Dr. Andonuts said. "The strange thing is that the code that's meant to control your behavior was still active, yet it no longer had any effect! It must have something to do with your PSI keeping anything from overriding your free will. Or perhaps it was a design flaw, and it was never as capable of controlling the human brain as we thought in the first place? Regardless, I deactivated it just to be safe."

"Huh?" Even after three years as the commander, most of what he said about science still went over his head. "You mean you think it won't make me hurt anyone anymore? But what if you're wrong?"

"Trust me, I'm not wrong. I know how your programming works because I'm the one who designed it in the first place."

"It was you...I remember now, before you made me a robot, you said I'd get better soon and you'd help me find my family, why'd you lie to me?! Why'd you turn me into a freak and make me hurt him?!"

His left arm crackled with static and he glared but Lucas grabbed his hand. "Don't hurt him!" A PSI Shield appeared around Dr. Andonuts.

"AH!" Instantly he flinched back and cringed away in shame at the slightest static shock to his brother, and the sparks faded. There was no badge on that tattered shirt to protect him anymore, as if he'd intentionally torn it off after what happened. He was alive now, but before he managed to bring him back Lucas must've thought he died because he wore it...what had he done..."I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I-"

"It's okay, Claus, just calm down...he already told me what he did while you were asleep, Claus, and I'm mad too, but Porky forced him to, and he's the only one who can make sure you get better." He sounded so bitter and resigned to it like the same argument had had to be made to him earlier. The PSI he was having so much trouble controlling with his aching head even picked up a few stray thoughts and emotions from Dr. Andonuts who cringed remembering that conversation and how angry Lucas had been to the point of nearly attacking him. But Lucas was nicer than him, he'd never have it in him to hurt someone even if they deserved it.

Right?

But that wasn't what the Commander remembered. Lucas had had to fight a lot of Pigmasks and Chimeras over the course of his journey, even if he was always merciful. Lucas had beaten him once, and had only been losing the second time because he wouldn't fight back, even though Lucas was alone that time...and after he hurt Dad and Lucas finally fought back with PK Love...

Was some part of him still scared of him? Claus frowned, he had no right to feel that when he deserved every bit of pain Lucas caused him in self defense and more.

"Yes, like he said, I never wanted to make you Porky's puppet, I only wanted to save your life with the heart surgery. But that isn't a good enough excuse...I wasn't controlled the way that you were, I still could've chosen to disobey Porky. Whatever consequences that brought me should've been less important than your life, so I'll accept any punishment I'm given for this and my other crimes. But, if I'm allowed to live, I'd like to spend however few years I have left trying to make up for what I've done. I wouldn't say I'm the only one who can make sure you get better, though...I just don't know if any of the other scientists would be as effective, since they haven't worked with your cybernetics as closely as I have. But it shouldn't be up to me. I can't express enough how sorry I am..."

"If he was really such a bad person, he wouldn't be sorry. I know he means it and he's not just saying it so we'll show him mercy." Lucas said, and Claus could tell too.

"I still don't like it...he should've been sorry before he made the Drago kill Mom instead of after." Dr. Andonuts thought something about how that particular Chimera technically wasn't him directly, but didn't voice that thought aloud, since he knew it was still his fault another way with how he invented Chimera science overall, even if he was too old and feeble to reconstruct such a big animal himself. "But you think we should let him live, right?"

"Yeah." Lucas said without hesitation.

"Then let's do that. I always end up doing the wrong thing now, I'm so stupid..." To think he'd once felt so sure of himself what felt like three years and also a blink of an eye ago.

"You didn't have a choice doing bad things, it was 'cause-"

"I already told you he didn't make me go after the Drago. I should've known that was stupid, you knew and I didn't listen to you, and I left you behind...you must've been so lonely for three whole years..." It was hard to imagine how Lucas coped. But he wasn't the way he was when he was ten anymore, and maybe this was why. Claus left him no choice but to grow up too fast.

"No, that's my fault, not yours, I should've told all the grownups sooner how you went to Drago Plateau!"

"But I told you to keep it a secret."

"Then I shouldn't have listened! I told Grandpa, but once he found out, Dad couldn't catch up to you in time...maybe he coulda if I said somethin' right away!"

"You don't know that for sure!"

"Yeah, but-"

"You're both wrong!" Kumatora said barging through the door. "It isn't either of your faults. Lucas already told me all about this a while ago, and he kept blaming himself, but I didn't know you'd do the same thing." She knew? All this time, Lucas had shared stories of him with his new friends? "Sure, you could've done something different, but you were only ten! You didn't even get any sleep that night, no wonder you were being dumb. Give yourselves a break."

"Then I should've slept more so I wouldn't be stupid!" Claus said.

"How the hell could anyone get a good nights' sleep after that? Besides, you know who should've been smart? All the adults in your village! Any of them could've kept an eye on you two, but nobody did..."

"Dad couldn't do that since he was in jail!" Claus said.

"Then he shouldn't have gotten himself thrown in there in the first place."

"You'd be mad too if it happened to you!" Claus blurted out.

"You think I'm not? You think it hasn't?" She said with a voice straining to stay composed at the limits of her sanity after the longest and most painful day of her life.

"Oh..." Claus shuddered as it hit him. "You mean the Magifolk, Grandpa said they raised you, and I pulled their Needles! I killed them..." He said with horror. "Just like the Drago killed Mom..." He was the monster now. "Fuck, I'm so sorry! If you want revenge, I get it, I won't st-"

"Fuck no, stop right there, I'm the one who should be sorry! Shit! I'm not mad at you, just Locria, Porky, everything really! I'm mad Mo-I'm mad Ionia died, but it's not your fault Porky made you do that, and it's not Lucas's for pulling the rest either, okay? Calm down, kiddo, and don't even think about hurting yourself again."

"Fine, but who's Locria?" He'd never heard that name before.

"He never told you who he used to be? That's just like him. He's going by Fassad, now, or he was, now he's dead. Serves him right, he was a traitor who told Porky everything he knows about the Needles and the Dark Dragon...I guess you never asked Porky how he knew, huh?"

"Master Porky doesn't like people questioning his authority." He said on reflex in a monotone voice. "I mean, just Porky, he's not my master, fuck!"

"I thought you said you got rid of all that brainwashing shit in his head!" Kumatora glared at Dr. Andonuts.

"I did, but this isn't that, it's just a force of habit!" Dr. Andonuts said. "I wish I could make him-" He said, then looked at Claus to avoid talking like he wasn't there. "I mean, you, forget every trauma you went through, but amnesia has caused you enough trouble already. It'll take time for you to get over how you've been trained to act, but nothing's forcing you to obey anymore..."

"Really?" Claus said looking at his right arm wondering if it could be trusted.

"Yeah...it's okay, Claus, he can't hurt you anymore..." Lucas tried to say in the same soothing tones as Mom.

"What the fuck did Porky do to you..." Kumatora said. "God, you look just like Lucas, and if this happened to him, I'd...I don't know..." Probably go nuts and fry every Pigmask in sight with her fire, ice, and lightning, given the look on her face. Lucas had made some good friends, hadn't he? He didn't know Lucas could do that without him.

"I could tell you more, but it's been three years, so it would take too long to explain everything." Dr. Andonuts said. "Suffice to say, Claus was not treated anywhere near ethically, despite how much I tried to help. I don't think recounting all those details would help right now..."

"Yeah, you're right." Kumatora sighed.

"Wait, if you're here, is Dad okay?" Claus said.

"Don't worry, Duster's still keeping an eye on him, and he's stable right now." Kumatora said. "I came here since I noticed you waking up with my PSI and wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oh...thanks..."

Then as things calmed down, he realized something from earlier. "Wait, if I could be brought back, why couldn't the Magifolk be? Why couldn't Mom be? ...Did you bring her back, Luke?" He said clinging to the faintest hope. Lucas would've told him by now if he had done that. But he hadn't said he couldn't.

"I'm sorry...I wanted to so bad, but I couldn't, she was gone for too long! I wanted to bring back Kuma's parents too, but I couldn't do that either, even though Ionia only d...disappeared earlier today. I'm sorry...I tried so hard...was my heart not good enough? They said if someone with a good heart-"

"Kiddo, I haven't met anyone with a kinder heart than you." Kumatora said.

"Yeah, she's right...except Mom, maybe, but I think you're tied. If you tried your best and it didn't work, that just means it can't be done, okay?" He sniffled. "It's not your fault Mom can't come back..."

He held it in a little longer, but soon both of them were sobbing messes again. Whatever dam they'd put in his head clearly hadn't been built to last. Then again, besides the Capsule, what had Porky made that was?

Lucas hugged Claus again while Claus was sitting up on the hospital bed. Like before, he clung to Lucas for dear life, desperate to feel his warmth, but this time, he wasn't hanging on to consciousness by a thread. This time he could feel Lucas holding onto him the same way he did when he was still his ten year old crybaby self the day Mom died when they were at her grave, like he might slip away any moment. Like he already had, once. Twice. But only his left arm could feel Lucas's warmth, the right felt nothing at all, and somehow trembled despite that. All those calculations and memories ran through his head somewhere far in the background, just without the compulsion. Damage reports. Diagnostics. Threat level. Potential injuries from point blank PK Love. If he listened, he could still hear it.

"Get away from me!" He pulled his right arm back suddenly and Lucas startled back. "I'm sorry, it's not your fault, it's just, I can still hear it in my head! The other me, the Commander, the programming, whatever you call it! What if I hurt you again?!"

"You won't hurt me, Claus, I trust you." Lucas said. "I could hear it too, a little...I don't think anything's controllin' you. It felt more like...I don't know...like you were scared." He said with a frown. "'Cuz when you were the Commander, you didn't remember me, you were just taught I was dangerous, and I hurt you, so you musta been scared...I'm sorry..."

"You only hurt me in self defense, I started it, I was the bad guy! That's why all this robot stuff has to go!" He looked at Dr. Andonuts. "Please, you have to get it out of me...all of it..."

"I already told you you aren't under anything's control anymore, but if it's really what you want, I could remove at least some of your cybernetics...but I can only remove the right arm and left eye at most, and losing either one alone would be quite the handicap. The eye in particular would be a delicate procedure I don't have the equipment for here, and while you may be able to get a heart transplant someday, there's no chance you could live without the cybernetic left hemisphere of your brain."

"I don't care, get rid of it any-"

The way Lucas flinched broke his heart all over again.

"way..." The rest of the word got out of his mouth, but in such a tone it was obvious he no longer meant it. He remembered Lucas's look when he'd done it. Deer in the headlights. Clawing at his Franklin Badge split seconds too late for the flash of lightning rebounding. Voice screaming out for him to stop. He'd never been a good listener. Then, the way Lucas sobbed into his shoulder when he tried to get out the right last words. He'd apologized to him and Dad, tried to make everything right before passing on in peace. But in those last moments, a pang of guilt twisted up his stomach. Being with Mom again was all he wanted, but how could he ever be at peace when Lucas was looking at him like that, when he was leaving him behind again? So he'd tried one last time to comfort him and tell him he was sure they'd meet again.

He hadn't been ready for his hastily spoken words to be proven right so soon.

"Claus, I...I don't want to remind you, but I need to know you won't do it again...so can you tell me why you did?" Lucas looked so tired with those purple bags under his eyes. How long had he stayed up waiting for Claus to wake up?

"I already said, it was 'cause I did all those bad things so I deserved-I felt like I deserved it." But Lucas didn't think so. Mom didn't think so. When had Mom ever been wrong? That was what he'd thought in those last few moments before he gave his final breath, when he tried to tell Lucas they'd meet again.

"But Porky forced you to do most of it, and you only went after the Drago 'cuz you didn't know any better."

"Yeah, but it wasn't just that! I was scared I'd hurt you! I did hurt you! And I could've k-killed you..."

"But I was ready to get hurt to get ya back, and it worked! Mom got through to you, then you weren't under Porky's control anymore, you were you again, and then you just..." 'Threw it away' echoed in his brain.

"I didn't know it would stick. I thought I'd go back to hurting you again. I didn't trust myself, I still don't...but I guess that was stupid too." Claus said with a frown averting his gaze. "I'm sorry...I just wanted to see Mom again. I know you're saying all the stuff I did isn't my fault, but I still did it, so how am I supposed to just live with that? And when I was myself again, I did something stupid again!"

"It's okay, Claus, I forgive you. It wasn't...okay, I won't say it wasn't stupid, but it wasn't your fault! Sometimes I don't trust myself either, and you were scared and hurt and you didn't know any better! I should've done something to stop you!"

"No way, kiddo, don't get started on that again!" Kumatora said. "You did everything you could, alright? It's not your fault you couldn't stop him from hurting himself...hell, I couldn't stop him and I'm an actual adult, so if you wanna blame someone, blame me! I couldn't even stop his lightning and help you in the fight..." She said bitterly.

"But that's not-" Lucas said.

"You better not keep kicking yourself either, cuz if even I keep fucking up, then no wonder you couldn't hold it together." She interrupted now looking at Claus. "If I went through all this shit five years ago, I doubt I could either."

"Then how am I supposed to keep goin'-I mean going!" He corrected himself out of his accent into that monotone and reflexively cringed. Porky didn't like the southern accent that reminded him of his mom's side of the family.

"What the fuck did Porky do to you..." Kumatora said clenching her fists.

"It's okay, Claus, you can talk how ya want." Lucas said, his voice shaky with his own suppressed anger. "I know it ain't easy to keep going after all this, it was hard for me livin' without you and Mom, and I know you've been through way worse, but now you got us. We can help you. You gotta believe things can get better...I know it's hard, but please...I can't lose you again. Can you promise you won't hurt yourself again?" He sat on the bed next to him and offered out his left pinky like they were ten again and hadn't been too old for this even then.

"But I break all my promises! I promised I'd always protect you, but I abandoned you. I promised I'd avenge Mom, and I just hurt you more." He would've been blinking back tears if his eyes weren't already dry.

"That's okay...you tried your best, and you don't have to protect me or fight anyone no more." He was right, now he was the one strong enough he didn't need to be protected. Now Claus was the weak one instead. Maybe he always had been weak and it just took until a real crisis came to prove it.

"But how am I supposed to make up for everything I did wrong? Even if it's not my fault what I did when Porky was controlling me, what about when I went after the Drago or when I...died?"

"You don't have to do anythin' to make it up to me, just havin' you back's all I need to be happy." Lucas said with a smile. "Actually...I think you already did somethin'."

"Huh?"

"I know why you're the only one I could bring back." He said, more sadly thoughtful now. "It's because you gave your heart to the Dragon too, that's why she could save you. The Magifolk said whoever passes their heart onto the Dark Dragon by pulling the Needles would remake the world, right? I know they said it's whoever pulls the majority, but...well, I know deep down you never really wanted to destroy the world or give it all to Porky, even when that brainwashin' had you acting weird. So I think it's 'cause somewhere in there, you knew you didn't deserve what you did to yourself, you knew you deserved to live."

With every word the fog in his head since waking up cleared. "No, that's not quite right...I really did wanna die, or else I never woulda done it, but...when I was talking to you, it felt so awful hearing you cry your guts out...I just couldn't take it. I couldn't take living anymore, I wanted to see Mom again, but I didn't wanna leave you behind either! I didn't know what to do! So I tried to make you feel better and said we'd meet again, then I...died...and then..."

Claus looked down at his own body which Lucas still held and cried over. "I'm sorry..." He said one last time, but Lucas couldn't hear him. Then he looked up and saw Mom floating up and ahead of him.

"MOM!" He flew at her like he did in his dreams and tackled her with a hug, feeling her tangibly for the first time in what felt like both three long years and only a few heartbreaking days. He let himself cry into her shoulder the same way Lucas would, giving up all his past facades of strength. "I missed you so much! I love you! I'm sorry I didn't say it enough when you were alive! I love you I love you I love you!"

"I love you too, Claus." She said gently ruffling his hair. "But I wish you hadn't done somethin' so reckless. You're still so young, you should've had a long life ahead of you just like Lucas."

"You weren't an old lady, Mom, you shoulda lived a long time too! It's not fair, I can't take being without you..."

"I know it's not fair, and I'm sorry I couldn't stay alive...but you can still have a second chance. Since you only just passed away, and because you passed your heart on to her too, the Dark Dragon can bring you back once Lucas wakes her up. But it will only work if you want it to."

"Then she should bring you back too!"

"I'm sorry, but she can't...I've been gone too long, and I wasn't the one to pull the Needles. It's time for me to pass on."

"That's not fair! How do you know that for sure, anyways?!"

"I could use PSI too when I was alive, but I gave up that power when I sealed everyone's memories of the old world in the Egg of Light. I only regained my memories and power just before I passed away. That's why I can sense it from the Dark Dragon."

"Huh?"

"You wouldn't know, I'm sorry...back then I feared it may have been a mistake to hide all those secrets and leave our children with no one to tell them about the past once they were born. You'll have to ask Leder once you return. Maybe if I hadn't forgotten, some of this tragedy wouldn't have happened...I'm so sorry."

"I don't get it, Mom, you're confusing me! Please don't be sad! Don't make me leave you!"

"I won't force you to, but please listen...you deserve a second chance, and you deserve to be with your brother again."

"Oh...Luke..." Claus looked back at Lucas who had laid his body to rest. It wasn't right..."I don't wanna make him sad...but that's not fair, I can't pick between him and you!"

"I know it's not, I'm so sorry. But I promise you'll see me again someday...so go to him now, and live the life you deserve, and after that we can meet again."

"I can't..."

He spent the time until Lucas pulled the Needle agonizing over the choice. He had to believe this was the right thing to do, that he could really live a happy life somehow without her.

"It's okay, Claus. No matter what you choose, I love you, and I won't judge you."

"Th-thanks, Mom...but Luke always says you're never wrong. I should go, right?"

"Yes, you should."

All it took was a leap of faith.

"I love you, Mom..."

"I love you too."

Then everything went dark.

"I saw Mom again, Luke! I coulda stayed with her, b-but she t-told me not to! She told me to come back to life, and she said she couldn't come with me since she's been gone too long...so I did what she said, 'cuz Mom's never wrong..." He wanted to cry, but his eyes were already dry and his voice was already hoarse. "I wish I didn't, though, I wish I was still with her! I know that's wrong, I know I did the right thing, but I can't help it!"

"It's okay, Claus, I'd feel that way too if it was me." Lucas still managed to tear up a little. Did his eyes get dry slower, or had he been the one to cry less for once?

"Yeah, kiddo, same...god..."

"Was that really her? Or was I just imagining stuff while I was dying?"

"I don't know for sure...but I think it really was Mom." Lucas said with a sad smile. "If you were just dreaming about her, she wouldn't have been able to tell you about how the villagers lost their memories, since you didn't know that. Grandpa and Alec said they heard her in their dreams once, too, telling them to put some hay right under where me and Boney were gonna fall from the airship."

"They did?!"

"Yeah...I can hardly believe it myself, but that's what they said, and that's where we fell."

"Does that mean Mom could see the future? Porky said there were some psychics who could do that in the past, but it's really rare, and they can't control what they see..."

"I don't know, I wish we could ask her...wait, we could ask Dad or Grandpa once they remember! She would've had those powers in the past before everyone forgot too."

"But why did they forget everything? I think I heard something about it from Porky once, he said the Egg of Light was important because the villagers used it to wipe their memories, but I don't remember the details..."

"Don't worry about that right now. I'll tell you later what Leder told me, or you can ask him yourself once you're better." Lucas said.

"But Leder's mute."

"About that...that's not true, us thinkin' that was actually just his way of keepin' a lot of secrets. I'll tell you later, okay?"

"Okay, fine..."

"I know you're sorry 'bout everything, but you don't have to do anything more to make up for it right now, you already went and came back to life, and that must've been hard enough. I just wish you hadn't had to be brought back in the first place. I know it was hard, but I wish you'd trusted yourself, and I wish you'd..." Lucas trailed off with a frown.

"Wish I'd what?"

"Never mind, forget it..." What was Lucas hiding? Despite both their psychic potentials being unlocked, he could tell far less of what his twin was thinking now. It was uncanny. Lucas had always been an open book, unable to lie even to the non-telepathic, and they'd never been able to hide anything from each other for long until becoming the Commander put up all these walls between them. Those had been torn down the moment the floodgates opened, so what was this? Was it because Lucas was different? Or was he the one who had changed? "Just promise me you won't hurt yourself again..." Lucas said offering his left pinky again.

When they were little, they did pinky swears with their right hands, but Lucas must've guessed he wouldn't want to use his prosthetic...

"...Okay, I promise." Claus accepted it and shook his pinky. Cross his heart and hope to die...except he'd already done that, hadn't he?

"Thank ya..." Lucas looked so relieved like a huge weight was taken off his shoulders. It must have been hard bearing the weight of the entire world and his stupid older brother at the same time. Since when had Lucas been capable of this..."I'm so glad." Lucas gave him a hug and rested his head on his left shoulder, or the right from Lucas's perspective. The one without any metal bits where it met the arm. "I know things seem hard, and there's a lot of bad things in the world, but I think everything's gonna be okay...call me a Pollyana if ya want, hah..." One of Mom's old songs...

"I hope you're right, Luke..."

Much as he appreciated it, when was Lucas gonna break off the hug?

"Uh, Luke?" Then he realized. "Oh...you're asleep."

"I can't believe he stayed up this long." Kumatora said.

"So what do we do? I'd hate to disturb the poor boy's slumber, but someone has to move him."

"Oh, don't worry, he won't wake up anytime soon. Guy sleeps like a rock." Kumatora said.

"Yeah, I know, he's such a sleepyhead." Claus said.

"Lemme take care of it." Kumatora picked Lucas up carefully and carried him over to another hospital bed where she laid him down slowly and gently. "Sleep tight, kiddo...you've had a hell of a day." She looked tired, too.

Now what? What was he supposed to do now that he'd decided to live?

"Wait, where's Porky? He's still in the capsule, right?!" How had he forgotten? If he got out and-

"Don't worry, my boy, he won't be coming out of there anytime soon. Or ever, in fact." Dr. Andonuts said.

"Huh? He told me he wanted to be safe forever, but wouldn't he be able to open it up once the Dragon was done remaking the world? I thought he just wanted to be safe from that." And Lucas's team. But it was hard to imagine Lucas killing anyone, even Porky...then again, Kumatora was there too...

"Yes, but I tricked him. I designed it so it could never be opened again once it was shut. And no, he won't starve in there, because he's immortal, despite his asthma. That's what makes it 'Absolutely Safe'...who knows, in some way, this may be exactly what he wanted."

Claus's stomach turned in existential horror as it slowly sank in what that meant.

"That's why I didn't wanna be the one to tell you about that, kiddo..." Kumatora said.

"You feel bad for him?! Well I don't! He shouldn't get to live forever and get exactly what he wanted, he should be dead after everything he did! It's his fault Mom died, and it's his fault I almost killed Lucas! Are we supposed to just let him get away with it?" Claus said with a glare. If he was going to believe Lucas telling him that it wasn't his own fault, then it had to be someone's. "Where are we? I need to get back to the Empire Porky Building so I can break open that stupid capsule!" What would Mom think of him saying things like this?

"Trust me, you can't, I tried." Kumatora said. "Not even Starstorm or PK Ground puts a dent in it."

"You haven't tried my lightning!"

"Actually, we have." Dr. Andonuts said. "Don't you recall how you helped with testing its durability?"

Right. That.

"Oh...but that's not fair! There has to be something that can break it!"

"I wish there was, but the whole point of its design was to the contrary."

"So we're just supposed to let him win? Let him laugh at us from in there forever?!" Claus said. He could imagine all the taunts Porky might say from in there.

"I'm sure he sees it as a victory right now, but that's the thing about time...everything changes. And if it doesn't, well, that's quite sad in its own way..."

He felt sick again. "No...I don't wanna feel bad for him, I don't...I'm not sorry for him!" He told them and himself. And yet. "If I feel bad for him, that's just letting him win!"

"It's okay, kiddo, you can feel whatever you want. Say he deserves worse, or better, or be conflicted and feel both ways at once, just don't let him be the boss of you even now that he's gone...ain't that letting him win too?" Kumatora said.

"Yeah, but..." Claus sighed.

An awkward silence ensued.

"...What did Lucas mean about Leder talking to him? Ain't Leder mute? If he isn't, how'd he keep it a secret so long, and why?"

"I could tell you, but it'd take forever, and there was some heavy stuff in that huge speech he gave us. You got enough on your plate already." Kumatora said.

"You don't have to walk on eggshells around me! It's not like if you hurt my feelings I won't be able to take-..it..." Claus frowned and looked down in shame. "Oh..." No wonder no one trusted him.

"It's okay, kiddo...you've been through a lot, no one can blame you. We'll tell you all that stuff eventually, just give yourself some time to breathe."

But he didn't want to. Every moment spent idle meant thinking about everything, feeling how his body wasn't quite right. Even the parts of him that were still flesh and blood felt awkward to the part of him that had only 'just' been ten.

"Can I go see Dad now? I'm not hurt anymore, I can walk just fine." He said.

"Your legs may be physically fine since you were healed, but I'm not sure about your sense of balance. Given how you've regained your old personality after three years, you might not be used to the weight of your cybernetics or even your height." Dr. Andonuts said. It wasn't like he was the same as he was three years ago, though. He still remembered everything he did as the commander, and in some way, he was still that person, just without all the restrictions forcing him to be obedient. But he was also Claus. Right? "I wouldn't want you to fall and get hurt after all we've done to help you. How about this? You can go see Flint as long as Kumatora is there to heal you in case you fall."

"Fine." He could walk, but the doc did have a point how part of him wasn't used to being this tall. He was still nowhere near Dad's height, though. Dr. Andonuts unhooked him from the IV and eventually let him go to the other room.

"Dad?" Dad wasn't in the best shape when Claus stepped through the automatic door to his room. He was on his own bed hooked up to an IV, and there was some kind of tube hooked up to one of his lungs. His cowboy hat was nowhere to be seen, leaving his head as bald as a bean, save for the sides. His ECG had a steady pulse that beeped at a routine rate unlike Claus's eerie flatline. Duster was sitting on one of the chairs watching over him, holding the cowboy hat. So that's where it was.

"Claus?" The rate of beeps went up just a little. His voice was so hoarse.

"What did they do to you?"

"Don't worry, this thing here is only to help me. I got hurt real bad when I was helping Lucas and his friends fight Porky, but the doctor says I'll get better. This is only temporary, he says he'll be able to take it out and send me home tomorrow."

"What does that thing even do?"

"I don't know how it works, exactly...it's odd, I could swear I've seen tools like this before, but I can't quite place it." Dad said in a raspy voice. "Dr. Andonuts said it was because air got out of my lung and was pushing on it from the outside, shriveling it up, so they have to suck it out. They couldn't just toss me in one of them Instant Revitalizing Devices since all that does is regenerate the flesh, and Lucas already healed me. I'll be okay, you're the one I'm worried about. Kumatora and Duster already told me you're alive again, but I just can't help worrying."

"I'm okay too, Dad...I know I should've died...no, I did die...but Lucas brought me back with the Dark Dragon. I'm sorry he couldn't bring back Mom too, he said it's 'cause I pulled-"

"I already know, he told me while you were asleep. Don't be sorry your mother isn't here too, you have no idea how happy I am to finally have you back. I love you so much, son...that's why I never stopped looking for you..." So why did he sound sad?

"Aw, I love you too, dad, but what's wrong? You're saying that like looking for me was a bad thing..."

"Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not saying I shouldn't have looked, I just...you don't understand, son. It's been three whole years." He seemed reluctant to elaborate, guilt radiating off of him.

"Oh, I get it...you mean you spent all that time looking for nothing, since you didn't know where I really was, and you didn't find me again because you looked long enough, it was because Lucas had to fight me, so you would've found me even if you never searched. I'm sorry, it's my fault I ran away and made you waste all that time...that must've been so hard for you."

"For me? No, no, that ain't right..." He coughed and wheezed almost like Porky. No, no, he couldn't make that comparison. "Think about it, who was at home taking care of Lucas when I was busy looking for you?"

"Duh, Mom would take care of...oh. Oh." Again he seethed. How did Lucas ever get used to this? How long did he have those moments where he'd forget she was dead and wouldn't ever do any of those things for them again? Or was only he that scatterbrained? It had been three years, but for him, he'd only lived a single day consciously aware of the gaping hole she left in his life where she once was but could not be again. In his life as the commander, the emptiness was just his normal and he'd never known any different. It was both better and worse.

"Do you see now?"

"Well, then you wouldn't go away from home for that long each day, right? You'd make up for Mom being gone, right?" Dad was still the strong, kind, dependable father he knew, right? Never mind the campfire. Never mind when they talked when he was in jail. He pushed it all to the back of his mind.

Dad seemed unsure what to say.

"Right..?" He said in the same pleading voice Lucas would.

"Wrong." And he could tell through his emotions he meant it.

The idealized image of Dad in his head shattered like glass.

"...huh?" What was he, then, when he'd tried so hard to follow in Dad's footsteps? Had he not strayed so far from Dad's trail after all when he left Lucas behind? He tried to piece the shards back together with his metal hand and the real one still prone to cuts. It couldn't have been that bad. Dad was a good person and a good dad, maybe he showed a tiny bit of favoritism to him over Lucas, but that was just because he was more like him, he loved them both equally, right?

"I wanted to make up for your mother being gone, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I didn't know a damn thing how to help Lucas live with losing her, I couldn't handle it myself..." It wasn't like Dad to swear in front of him. "And I just wasn't there for him anywhere near enough. Even when I was, I wasn't. All I could think about was getting you back...I was just going through the motions."

"But...but...but what about our neighbors? It's not your fault you were sad Mom was gone, and they could've helped...didn't you help Lighter when Fuel's mom passed away?" They'd heard the phrase about how it takes a village to raise a child.

"Lighter shouldn't have to pick up my slack, and the town ain't the same no more. Ever since the Pigmasks moved in, everything's gotten worse...they've gotten everyone to be more and more selfish, thinking only about the stuff they can buy and those darn Happy Boxes. Lighter never did buy one of those, he's a good man, a better man than me...and Lucas was still friends with the other kids...but he needed me, not just anyone, and I wasn't there anywhere near enough."

"I should've been there too instead of forgetting everything." Duster said. "I even saw you after you talked to your dad at the jail, I could've stopped you from going after that Drago."

"But you didn't know I was gonna do that, I didn't tell ya...I just lied and said I was gonna talk to Lucas." Well, that was true, but he hid the whole plan for revenge part, because he knew if the adults found out they wouldn't let him.

"I still should've suspected something." He and Duster hadn't been particularly close, other than that one time he'd tried learning the guitar from him. Old man Wess called it a waste of his son's time and talent. Claus stuck his tongue out at him. The next time he'd heard him after he went after the Drago had been over the radio as the commander. He hadn't been trained to waste time on recreation, but some of the Pigmasks sure liked listening to the DCMC. Even the Commander found itself tapping its foot to that bass rhythm for reasons besides ADHD-induced restlessness.

"Well, I'm better at hiding stuff than Luke..." He said with a frown. "And, uh...when I was with the army, I heard your music, and it was really good. So it's not like you didn't help at all..." Any small relief.

"You did, huh..."

Another awkward silence.

"Look, I know you don't wanna believe it, but your dad fucked up." Kumatora said. "Lucas wouldn't have had to get so independent if Flint was around as much as he should've been." He wanted to deny it, but the pieces were all coming together. Lucas only became so strong and brave because he was forced to be. By him not being there to protect him...by Dad...by Porky and the Pigmasks killing Mom and causing trouble, by everything.

"But...but that's my fault! I should've stayed home so you didn't have to look for me, Dad! If Tazmily needed a hero, it shoulda been me, not him! It's not fair..." He'd hardly given a second thought about how anyone would react if he didn't come back when he went after the Drago in that sleep-deprived haze. How was he supposed to know how much he meant to everyone, the scars his absence would leave? But he'd already seen what Mom being gone for just one day did...

"Don't blame yourself, son, you didn't know any better, and you shouldn't have had to fight either..." Dad said.

"Yeah, but...if it's not my fault, I don't wanna be mad at you..." Even though part of him already was. "I hurt you, Dad! I could've killed you! Even if you messed up, I've done way worse things when I was the commander! I'm so sorry!" He wanted to cry.

"You weren't yourself, Claus, that was Porky forcing you to do that..."

"I still did it, and you're still hurt..."

"If it makes you feel any better, this lung injury was actually Porky's doing, not yours. I mean his machine, it's still his fault the things he made you do too..."

"And you still took those hits for Lucas after that?" The Commander hadn't been able to believe its eyes when Dad was standing in the way after the explosion of hexagons that should've hit Lucas, somehow still on his aching feet and clutching his chest likely full of broken ribs. The memory of the campfire came back in that instant and all it could do was lash out in fear and confusion just like Dad had taught it, even though this time Dad had nothing but love and self sacrifice to offer. Its CPU couldn't comprehend how the second blast wasn't fatal for a human with no PSI to protect him. Faint memories of childhood fantasies mixed with those cold calculations. But Dad had crumpled into an aching heap all the same, baffling its senses another way by shattering the illusion of fatherly invincibility once more.

"It ain't as impressive as it sounds, Lucas used his healing on me before I tried talkin' to you, and that fixed the wounds, at least. Still sore as hell, though." And since PK Love was powered by emotion, it could've been weakened by the fact he didn't really want to hurt him...he was starting to realize Dad was only human.

If only he could say the same.

"Oh..." But Dad wasn't the only person he'd hurt in that fight. "I'm sorry I hurt you two too, are you sure you're okay now?" He said looking at Kumatora and Duster. "And what about Boney?"

"Slow down, kiddo, one thing at a time." Kumatora said. "Didn't I already say we're fine? Boney's okay too, this isn't any worse than when you zapped us back at Tanetane." Never mind the fact that unlike then, they also went through a grueling battle with Porky before that and even Fassad earlier that same day, despite the healing hot springs between the three fights.

"Oh...I'm sorry about that too..."

"Shit, shouldn't have brought that up."

"But where's Boney? Can I go see him?"

"Not right now. His injuries are better, but we took him to a veterinarian just in case." Duster said. "I'm worried he could have gotten sick when he was in the sewers, too, though I 'spose that goes for all of us, he was just in there longer..." He remembered Porky telling him furiously how Fassad had failed to stop Lucas's team. It was while he was making Dr. Andonuts rush his repairs of his injuries from his loss at the sixth Needle, just so he could force him to go back into danger to pull that final Needle before Lucas's team could reach the Empire Porky Building. The Commander was mostly numb and nearly incoherent while it recovered, yet some small part had felt a treacherous catharsis at the death of its former tormentor.

"Gosh, I hope y'all don't catch a cold." He grit his teeth trying not to correct himself, he could talk how he wanted, he was fine!

"Eh, we'll manage." Kumatora said.

Now what?

"So, uh...what happened to your hair, Dad?" Dad already had a bald spot 3 years ago, but it had been a lot smaller. He used to just wear cowboy hats for fun.

"It fell out, obviously. I hope it doesn't run in the family, or you and Lucas take more after your mother." Right now, potentially losing his hair in his late thirties or early forties was the last of his worries, he'd have to get that far first.

It was still hard to imagine that.

"Or else I'll go bald as a bean, haha..." He'd always liked making stupid jokes like Mom and Grandpa, but only now was it a way to cope. It felt weird. For some reason, Dad gave him an odd look at that joke.

"There's somethin' I've been wondering...I asked Dr. Andonuts, and he said you didn't remember your past when you were that masked boy. Said they tried to make it so you couldn't be happy or sad or angry or nothin'." Dad said bitterly. "And that was sick and twisted of them, but I have to hear it from you what all that means. Was it like y'were someone else that whole time, and when it was over, it was like wakin' up from some long, bad dream? Or did you know they were making you do something bad the whole time, and you couldn't do nothin' 'bout it..." He said with horror. "I just hope it didn't hurt too bad...but you don't have to tell me, I know you're going through enough already..." He didn't like seeing Dad so scared.

"No, it's okay, Dad. I don't know how to explain it...it's not really either of those, but it's almost like both? Like he said, I didn't remember anything from before they brought me back, and I didn't feel stuff as much. Ugh, I can't even describe it, it all felt normal then, but now it's not! I didn't know I was doing something wrong, I just did what they trained me to, but I should've known!" All the Commander knew was that obedience was right and disobedience was wrong. "I still didn't like hurting anything at first..." Not that he ever did. "But if I disobeyed, I'd get punished." He said in a suddenly quiet monotone voice.

Fassad couldn't use shock collars like he did on the other Chimeras or that one monkey thanks to the risks involved with a half cybernetic brain. But he had other methods. It turned out burns were one of the most painful types of injuries possible due to how they lit up so many nerve endings. One time, when he'd refused to put down an uncontrollable Cattlesnake, Fassad used a tiny, concentrated PK Fire on his left leg, just enough to be superficial causing no permanent damage but still agonizing, then he'd heal it with Lifeup strong enough to leave no scar like it never happened, then he'd do it aga-

"Claus!"

He would've fallen over sideways if not for Kumatora catching him. He hadn't noticed himself hyperventilating and wincing his eyes shut.

"I wish we could bring that fucker back to life just so I can kill him again."

"H-how much did you see?" Normally, psychics couldn't see each other's thoughts, but his control over his powers hadn't been good since waking up, he might have even been the one projecting it onto her.

"Enough." She held Claus a little too tightly and helped him sit down on one of those comfy looking chairs near Dad's bed.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything..." Dad said.

"It's okay, Dad, it's not your fault..." He tried to say while struggling to get any words out between gasps and trembling on the chair.

"Just take it easy for a little while, Claus...you don't have to keep on talking and asking us things." Duster said.

And for the next minute or so, he had to, until the panic left him. Everyone continuing to worry didn't help.

"I know you said to take it easy, but there's still more I gotta say...I gotta apologize to you, too, Dad. I'm sorry I...you know...if it hadn't been for Luke, I wouldn't have been able to come back, and I'd hurt you and him so much...I still did..."

"...You were just hasty, that's all. I forgive you."

"I don't think I deserve it...I didn't listen to you when you said not to go after the Drago, either, and then I did something dumb again!"

"But Claus, you already said how you didn't remember while you were that commander, right? You never had a chance to learn any lessons in the first place, so you can't be hard on yerself for that. I'm the one who should apologize, I'm the one who gave Lucas my Courage Badge..."

"Fuck, that means I made you feel like you did it! And I made Luke feel like he did it! I'm s-sorry!" His voice cracked amid dry sobs. "I didn't think of that, I swear! I didn't know!"

"It's okay, you were just hasty..." Dad said.

"It's not a bad thing you gave him the badge, ok? If he didn't have it, he would've been defenseless against my lightning! And even if he wasn't, I could've found some other way to...well..."

"..."

The conversation came to an awkward standstill.

"...Can we hug?" He never used to be the clingy twin. Often Lucas would cuddle up to him in his sleep and he'd have to carefully free himself from his grip without waking him up.

"You don't have to ask, 'course we can." But he had to awkwardly walk to and around Dad's bed so that he was on the right side of him, or left from Dad's perspective, and could hug him with the right, er, the correct arm, the left arm, and in such a way that Dad didn't have to get up and he didn't bump that weird tube sucking the excess air pushing in on Dad's lung. Then while he was in that awkward crouching position Dad could barely hug him back with his own much bigger left arm. But there was something awkward and stiff about it, almost like Dad wasn't used to hugging anymore. Mom had always been more of a hugger than Dad, but it was never like this. How often did Lucas and Dad hug lately?

He wasn't sure he was ready for the answer.

Claus tried to push those thoughts back, maybe it was just because Dad was hurt. He tried to appreciate the warmth instead. It had been so long...

Eventually, he let go and went back to sitting where he was before. Now what? What was he supposed to do with his life? The Commander had always been bound to countless objectives he wanted nothing to do with now, but it was hard to imagine going back to his old innocent carefree life. Would all the villagers just accept him back into their lives like nothing had happened and it hadn't been three years and he wasn't this cyborg freak who was once part of the force oppressing them?

Wait...there wasn't even a village anymore. Tazmily was a ghost town. He'd known that as the commander, but he hadn't connected the dots until now. To think he'd felt nothing knowing almost everyone he'd ever loved had been lured to New Pork City by all those ads, straight into Porky's grasp.

No...not quite nothing. The commander had felt something stirring in its gut after it got back from Tanetane Island on a Porkship that flew over the nearly empty village before returning to base. It didn't know how to identify it. It just took it out on the impenetrable wall of vines guarding Chupichupyoi Temple's entrance once it was sent on its next mission. After the first few lightning bolts, Colonel Green suggested that he not tire himself out and just leave it to the Claymen and heavy explosives. After all, the enemy might show up soon, and he'd need to save his strength for then. Clive was a decent guy...well, now that he had the hindsight, 'decent' was a considerable stretch for anyone who pointed a blaster in Lucas's direction, but at least some set them to 'stun'. Some showed some camaraderie to their fellow soldiers. Some caught on to just how young he was and tried to care about it more than others.

What were they all up to now?

"Wait, if Porky's stuck in the capsule, and Fassad's dead, then what happened to the army?" Porky had never made succession plans. For all he cared, the empire could crash and burn without him leading it, its spectacular collapse upon his absence a last monument to his so-called glorious leadership.

"Don't you know? Oh right, you were asleep the last few hours, so you missed it...a lot of shit went down ever since Lucas woke up the Dragon." Kumatora said. "Hell, even before that. See, while you were down in that cave, we were looking for Porky up on the top floor, and he went on this stupid rant about how he was gonna wake up the Dragon and end the world...but guess what? That old fart recorded it for everyone in the city to hear! I mean Dr. Andonuts, not Porky. He broadcasted Porky's speech to the whole city to try to get the Pigmasks to turn against him, and if that wasn't enough, then Lucas woke up the Dragon and gave them all their memories back."

"Huh?"

"Y'know, the ones who got stuck in those tubes of green goo to make 'em loyal. Lucas fixed all that, and that made them fight back."

"Oh..."

"I thought you knew about this stuff since they called you the commander."

"No, I did, I just didn't know Lucas could do that. Ugh, this is my fault too! I knew all this was going on and I didn't do anything about it! I even gave some of the orders to put people in there when Porky told me to! I could feel it, how their minds weren't quite right and they forgot things or remembered 'em wrong..." What he'd sensed barely probably barely scratched the surface, though. Of the many people brought to New Pork City by Time Distorter, there weren't many he knew the personal stories of about where and when they really came from. Of course, not all of them had been kidnapped or brainwashed or both. Some had come voluntarily after being given false promises of going to a futuristic utopia. Some were eager for any alternative to whatever shitty life they were stuck in. Most didn't know there would be no return trip. And as for those who did remember, the Commander was hardly the talkative type to inquire about the backgrounds of its soldiers.

"Again, it's not your fault, kiddo. From what the doc told me, you had even less of a choice than those pigs in the goo, at least they didn't have a machine in their head."

"Yeah, but still..." He sighed. "So how much of the army's still loyal to Porky?"

"Not much. You'd have to be pretty crazy to still follow him after all the shit he said."

"Well, some of them think the video was faked." Duster said. Claus couldn't imagine any technology being able to imitate Porky's signature wheezes, though. "Some of them believe it, but they just wanted to take his place being in charge once they found out he was in the capsule. But most of 'em had a change of heart once Lucas helped them remember, and since he and the Dragon started stopping all those natural disasters from wrecking the islands completely...I mean, how do you fight a kid who just stopped the end of the world when your boss caused it? There hasn't been all too much fightin', thank goodness. The worst of the bunch were all divided against each other in these small factions since Porky never set up any of his officers in particular to be his successor if he kicked the bucket, and enough people could agree Porky was no good that they outnumbered anyone who wanted to start some new nasty regime."

"Oh...well, that's good...wait, what do you mean natural disasters wrecking the islands?!" He'd only seen a few glimpses just after coming back to life while fading in and out of consciousness.

"Yeah, they weren't kidding about the 'end of the world' part of the prophecy." Kumatora said. "Here, lemme show you." Kumatora waved her right hand and used some telekinesis to pull aside the window curtains, revealing that they weren't on the ground floor of the hospital and had a view of the city which was devastated by the lingering effects of a huge earthquake among other things. In the distant horizon, even Fire Mountain could be seen with cooled lava along its side.

"Holy shit, it erupted?!" He walked closer to get a better view.

"Yep! There were meteors coming down from the sky and everything. It even knocked down one of those Porkships, so they're lucky Lucas decided to make sure no one died when all this shit happened."

"Wow...but I don't get it, why would the Dragon make all this happen if Lucas was trying to use its-I mean her power to save the world?" Porky always called the Dragon an it.

"The way Lydia put it, 'all things must come to an end, but every ending is a new beginning'. That means the Dark Dragon can't make a better world without breaking some stuff. She's the size of the islands themselves, so just her waking up shook everything up even if she's trying to use her power for good. And if she's not, well...Phrygia just said it's like how if she gets a good night's sleep, then she'll have a productive morning, but if not, then she might just make things worse."

"God, if I couldn't stop all this like Lucas, then it really could've destroyed everything..." All the commander's misery was the last thing a dragon trying to fix the entire planet needed.

"Hey, you don't know that for sure..." Kumatora said gently, and another wave of her hand pulled the curtains over the view again. "Maybe even if you pulled it before we got there, waking up the Dragon would've gotten you back to your senses, and I know you didn't really wanna wreck everything. It's not that you didn't have a heart, they just forced you to bury your feelings deep down."

"But I literally don't have one!" Claus said holding his unbeating chest. "It doesn't matter if I had feelings somewhere, it wouldn't have been enough! I still don't think I could've saved the world like Lucas did even if I was like I am right now...so how'd he do it? He just saw me die, and he still held it together for everyone else's sake?" The ten year old Lucas was reduced to a sobbing wreck by Mom's death, let alone his on top of that. Claus's incoherent vengeful madness wasn't any better. "When did he get so strong?" When had Lucas become so much stronger than him?

"I wish I knew...it must've been when I wasn't lookin'." Dad said with a frown. "But neither of you shoulda had to be strong for nobody, and there's no point dwellin' on what could've been, whether it's better or worse. I know it's awful hypocritical of me to say that, but it's true. You're just blaming yerself for something you never did and that wouldn't have been your fault if you had done it anyhow."

"That's right, and if it helps, Lucas was holdin' onto the thought that pulling that Needle could bring you back, and it did, so he didn't know for sure he'd lost you for good." Duster said.

"I bet he still could've saved the world even if I didn't come back..." Claus said. Even the few moments he'd had with the present Lucas had shown him enough.

"Well, maybe...but he's had three years to learn, you haven't, not quite. When I lost my memory, it was like a fresh start where I made new friends and had a good time, but for you, you got thrown into that awful life..." Duster said. "It must've been hard enough just gettin' by."

"Wait, you lost your memory?" Claus said. He'd heard about the musician Lucky as the commander, but not that he lost his memory.

"Right, I suppose you wouldn't know since you got lost before it happened...the short version is me and my old man went on a mission to Osohe Castle to go find the Egg of Light because we knew we were supposed to go get it in a time of crisis, but I got washed away in the river with the egg. I nearly drowned, but when I woke up, the band found me washed up on the riverbank, and I couldn't remember who I was or where I came from, so they took me in."

"Oh...but why'd you lose your memory? You were only trying to get the Egg, not use it, and shouldn't it have given your memories back, not taken 'em away?"

"I'm still not sure myself. All I know is once I woke up, the only thing I remembered was that I had to hide it so no one could steal it. Then once I met Lucas, we found it again, and that let me remember everything. Well, not quite everything, since I still don't remember where we were before Tazmily..."

"That's weird...so that means you've lost your memories twice in a row? You changed them, and then you lost them all, but you only got the fake ones back?"

"It's strange, ain't it? Well, they ain't all fake, the ones from after we got to Tazmily but before I met the band are real. I guess my mind's probably 'bout as scrambled as an egg if you think about it, huh?"

"I hope you can get all that sorted out soon..." Claus said. "Uh, what were we talking about earlier?"

"I was sayin' how since you forgot everything and lived such a hard life, it must've been hard enough just getting by, so you shouldn't be so hard on yourself and comparing yourself to Lucas. You had it a whole lot worse than he did."

"It's not like Lucas had it easy. He had to live without me, and Mom, and..." Sort of without Dad, too. "And he wasn't all numb to it like me. At least I didn't remember everyone, so I couldn't even miss them." How ungrateful that felt with how much they'd all missed him.

"If you ask me, that's even worse. Honestly, I'd rather be dead than forget about Ionia." Kumatora said. So then, why had Duster's time as an amnesiac been such an improvement? What did that say about Wess? Everyone knew they didn't get along, but now he had an awful feeling he didn't know the half of it. Neither of them were the type to talk about what went on behind closed doors. "Look, kiddo, it's not a competition, but you had it worse. At least Lucas still had a few people who loved him, but you didn't. Those assholes used you! Abused you!" Tortured him, she left unsaid trying not to push his buttons again. "And they're gonna pay for it if it's the last thing I do."

"You already made Fassad pay for it, and Porky's in that stupid capsule, so he's gonna rot away in there forever..." Again Claus felt sick. Half of him hoped Porky really did rot for a million years, the other half knew that was too cruel for any human being, even him. "And Dr. Andonuts...ugh, I don't know! It feels wrong letting him just get away with it, but Luke said it was the right thing since he feels bad about it...and he wasn't a jerk like Fassad, he tried to help me sometimes, but it wasn't enough since he always listened to Porky when it came down to it, so I don't know...I just don't know!"

"It's alright, Claus, you don't have to. But I don't think there's any use in revenge, if it's hurting someone back just to make 'em suffer as much as you did, only justice. I mean making sure the folks who do abuse their power and hurt people don't get the chance to do it again. Sometimes forgivin' people who did something horrible seems stupid, and sometimes it is, it just depends if they really want to change or not. 'Course, who am I to talk with what I did to that poor mother Drago right in front of her daughter..."

The commander had heard how that particular chimera was put down, but Claus had never known Dad succeeded where he failed.

"She was in pain, Flint. She couldn't control herself, it was the only way to keep her from hurtin' anyone else." Duster said.

"Sure, but I wasn't thinkin' of it that way back then." Dad said. Neither was Claus.

"So I died for nothing?! I could've waited and you still would've stopped her from hurting anyone! And she didn't wanna hurt Mom either, she liked playing with us, it was the Pigmasks who made her that way, so she didn't deserve it!" His eyes watered again.

"Then neither did you." Dad said.

"B-but...but I..." Claus said, but couldn't come up with any more words, only sniffles and blubbering. Kumatora floated a tissue over to him so he could blow his nose.

It was minutes before he'd recovered enough for their conversation to continue in any meaningful way besides them consoling him and telling him the same things he'd already heard about how it wasn't his fault and he shouldn't blame himself.

"Wait, you still haven't told me, who's in charge of the army now? I know you said a lot of them don't want Porky back, but what's gonna happen to everyone? Will they get rid of money like how Tazmily used to be? If they're gonna punish the worst guys in the army, then what about me?"

"Slow down, kiddo. First of all, if anyone wants to hurt you, they'll have to do it over my dead body. " She said. "...And it won't come to that since I'd kick their asses first." She added after seeing his reaction.

"Oh." How could he mean that much to her when he was practically a stranger, even if he had Lucas's face? He was the one who pulled the Needles and killed half the Magifolk...

"I don't know if we're getting rid of money, probably not right away since everyone's so used to using it. Leder said the important part is just making sure we don't let the rich control everything like when Porky was in charge. Well, he calls them the 'bourgeoisie', but you get the idea. I don't know exactly what's gonna happen to everyone, but I think things are gonna get better from here on out as long as we make it happen. As for the army, there's this guy named Colonel Green who helped Dr. Andonuts start that broadcast to turn the rest of the Pigmasks against Porky..."

"Wait, I know that guy, he used to work for me! I didn't know he was planning on rebelling, though, but I'm glad he did..." If he had, he would have had no choice but to report him. But now that he thought about it, there had been some signs he hadn't noticed at the time. No concrete proof, but enough that if he'd put the dots together and told Porky, he could've gotten him demoted, fired, or worse. In hindsight, it was strange he hadn't noticed his treacherous thoughts, but he hadn't been much good at using his telepathy back then, and it worked better on animals. Had he been too dense, or was it that he chose not to put the dots together? The commander never broke the rules its programming and superiors demanded of it. Not consciously.

Wait...if Clive was planning rebellion, what would he have done if Claus won that battle against Lucas outside the temple? Wouldn't the world have been doomed if he pulled that Needle and got the majority? Would he and who knows how many of his men have betrayed him and shot him in the back before he could pull it? It probably would've worked since pulling the needles took so much concentration, and he would've been exhausted fighting Lucas. He probably would've set his blaster to stun, too.

Part of Claus wished otherwise.

"Is there any way I can talk to him? There's gotta be something I can do to help. If Dr. Andonuts can do another one of those broadcasts and let me talk to all the Pigmasks, maybe I can convince them to stand down and stop doing bad stuff! Some of them liked working for me more than Fassad or Mas-Porky..." He corrected himself. There were no rules stating the commander had to be callously cruel to its subordinates like Fassad or constantly be suspicious of them. Of course, Porky would get mad if it seemed like the Commander was more loved by the soldiers than him, so the Pigmasks had to be sycophantic enough to avoid his wrath, but not so sycophantic it was obviously fake. Just like those Mecha Porky minigames.

"I don't want you to get yourself involved in all this when you've been through so much and we only just got you back. Just think of the stress you'd be putting yourself through talking to all those people! You'd get far too much attention afterwards, too." Dad said, still in that raspy voice. "Please, just listen to me this time." Claus winced with guilt. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put it like that..."

"No, you're right, I should've listened to you back then, but this is different! I have to do something to make up for everything I did wrong, right? I'm gonna get all that attention anyways even if I don't say nothin'...it's not like we could just keep me being the commander a secret when all the Pigmasks already know I look like Lucas. Everyone's probably gonna hate me for all the awful stuff I did, but it'll look even worse if I just sit around doing nothing instead of trying to make it right! Right? I won't do anything behind your back anymore, I promise, but you gotta let me have this...please, dad..."

"I get what it's like wanting so badly to make up for what you've done wrong: all I want now is to make up for not being there for you and Lucas...but Claus, it's different with you. I knew what I was doing, you didn't, so the things you did weren't really your fault, and it breaks my heart seein' you saying they were. It'd be cruel of people to judge you for it, and if they do anyway, then I'll be there to tell them they're wrong."

"Sure you could, but I get why he's doing it. He just wants to do something to help people to make up for everything he's feeling guilty about, so let him."

She wouldn't say it, but something in her tone or just the context told him she must've felt guilty too about helping Lucas pull those needles. He couldn't imagine himself being able to do the same in her place. Was her helping Lucas now how she kept herself going? And him, too, since he was Lucas's brother..? "Besides, who are you to tell him not to beat himself up for no reason? You did that for three years and it didn't help anyone."

"Hey!" Claus said without thinking. It felt weird flip-flopping like this from arguing with Dad to defending him, and half of him knew Dad deserved some harsh words, but the ten year old half hadn't caught up in time yet. He was still Dad, wasn't he?

"No, she's right...but it doesn't matter if I'm a hypocrite, you still shouldn't treat yourself like this."

"But I can't just do nothing! Why don't you care what I want?"

"Everyone just calm down, alright?" Duster said. "You've all got a point. Claus, it's not that your dad doesn't care what you want, and he doesn't think you're being stupid, he's just worried for ya. Flint, Claus just wants to do somethin' good, and he's spent all this time being helpless not able to make any choices for himself, so try to understand. We won't let him do something reckless again."

"Letting him spill his guts out for everyone to see ain't reckless?" Flint said.

"It doesn't have to be like that. Actually, I've got an idea: we could go talk to Dr. Andonuts about it first and get his opinion."

Dad sighed which came out more like a wheeze. "Fine. Just get him to come over here since he still won't let me get up. I haven't agreed to anything yet, I'm just agreeing to talk to him about it."

"Thanks, Dad..."

Duster followed him back to the other room while Kumatora stayed behind with Flint.

"I see...I sympathize with being desperate to make up for one's wrongdoings no matter the personal cost, but your father has a point about the risks to your privacy and mental well-being. Hmm..." Dr. Andonuts adjusted his glasses. "How about a compromise, my boy? What if I was the one to speak on your behalf?" Dr. Andonuts said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I've already revealed some of the things you want to say to the public in the earlier broadcast across the city."

"Huh? Didn't you just record Porky's big evil rant?"

"That part of it was only a stroke of luck I improvised with in the moment, I already had plenty of evidence to reveal even if he'd done the smart thing and kept his mouth shut. Among that was evidence of all the horrible things we've done in the name of science, including brainwashing humans to stay loyal to Porky and reconstructing and abusing Chimeras, including you."

"Which one am I? Human or Chimera?"

"Both, naturally! Please don't think your cybernetics make you any less human."

"Don't they? I mean, there's literally less of me that's human now."

"Well, is an amputee or someone who loses an eye less human than an able-bodied person?"

"No, of course not! Sorry, Duster..." He said looking at Duster awkwardly.

"It's okay, Claus, I know you didn't mean nothin' by it. Just listen to him and don't think of yourself like that."

"I know, I get it, but there's stuff in my brain too, so isn't that different?"

"Advanced as your cybernetic hemisphere may be, now that it isn't programmed to override your free will, it's only a disability aid now, nothing more. It's just that said disability was caused by what we did to you in the first place..."

None of them were sure what to say next. There was something about the look on Duster's face that bothered him...

"Wait, I got distracted, what were you saying earlier?" Claus said. "I'm so dumb..."

"Ah, right. Don't worry, we share that habit of going on tangents. I was saying I've already told the city some of what you want to say, like your identity as the commander and how none of what you did was your fault, and it was all meant to convince them to overthrow Porky's regime, of course. If you want, I could elaborate on what happened to you and let them know how sorry you are even though you shouldn't have to be. Of course, I'll make every effort to maintain your privacy and only explain what needs to be said and not any personal details."

"Okay...let's go back to Dad so we don't keep him waiting too long."

"I'm still not sure about this..." Dad said after Dr. Andonuts explained everything to him and Kumatora.

"And that's understandable, but I want to at least make sure the public knows the basics of what happened to Claus, so they can know the truth before any nasty rumors and misunderstandings can spread that he was at fault for what he did. Alas, information can spread all too quickly these days." Dr. Andonuts said.

"Word got around quick in the old Tazmily, too, but at least folks knew better than to spread the kind of lies and slander all them televisions and news networks do now." Flint said bitterly. "They called Lucas a 'terrorist' when he decided to fight back against them and blamed him when they blew up their own tower...I can't stand the thought of them doin' the same to Claus." He said.

"But then they'd all have to admit they were wrong supporting Porky first, right?" Claus said.

"You know how people can be, Claus. Some folks are shameless enough to flip-flop just because everyone else started changing their mind, and they won't really be sorry for what they thought before, they'll just say they were misinformed, find anyone to blame 'cept themselves." Dad said, then sighed and looked back at Dr. Andonuts instead of him. "...Fine, but only tell 'em the bare minimum. I don't want Claus to have all his scars out for everyone to see, it just ain't right. My boys should get to live a normal life instead of everyone havin' their eyes on them."

"Believe me, I know, I wish there was some way for Claus to avoid the spotlight entirely, but too many people already know too much."

"Fine, just let me know what you're going to tell everyone before you do anything." Dad said.

"Don't worry, I will."

At least now everyone would know he was sorry and that he hadn't wanted to do all the things he did.

But now what?

A few minutes later, Claus tapped his foot idly while Dr. Andonuts typed away on his laptop setting up what he was working on on his very loud keyboard. Clackity clackity clack. There were spreadsheets, paragraphs of text full of scientific terms he didn't understand, diagrams, even some pictures of him before and after some of the surgeries. Claus looked away before it made him feel any more sick. He knew it was important that people knew the truth of what was done to him and the other Chimeras and how bad it was so no one would try it again, but still...he needed something else to think about, and there was plenty to pick from, but something that wouldn't just upset him more...something productive...

"Wait, I forgot to say something! When I was on the Dragon's back when Lucas brought me back, I could see the whole world, and it was huge! Nowhere was so tiny it was just a little dot! I could hear her thoughts too, and she seemed sad since the rest of the world looked like some huge wasteland..."

"That's 'cause it wasn't always like that. Leder said it used to be just as green as Tazmily. Well, some of it, anyhow." Duster said.

"What do you mean it wasn't always like that?! How could a world that big get ruined so badly? Just what did Leder say?"

"They haven't told you yet since they know you won't like hearing it. You've already been through too much tonight, Claus, just let it go." Dad said.

"Not knowing is worse! How am I supposed to sleep knowing there's some big dark secret everyone's keeping from me like I can't take it? I'm not gonna kill myself again, okay?!"

"Hey...it's okay, kiddo..." Kumatora said gently.

"F-fuck, I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be mean, I just-" Claus wiped his treacherous tears.

"It's alright, you've had a long day." Duster said. "If you really want to know, you can, just go ask Mr. Stinkbug. He's in Lucas's pocket."

"O-okay." He said. What Duster said didn't surprise him, since he'd always been fond of bugs and talking to them like the Mole Crickets near Grandpa's house, so of course he knew Stinkbugs had the best memory of any bug in Nowhere.

So that was what he did.

"Hi, Mr. Stinkbug. Can you tell me what Leder told Lucas?" He said after pulling a bug out of Lucas's pocket, and it jumped out of his hand and onto the floor.

The bug chirped. ("Aren't you Lucas? What happened to your eye and arm?")

"No, I'm his twin, Claus, and I don't wanna talk about it. Just tell me what he said, ok?"

Mr. Stinkbug chirped again and hopped up in the air in confirmation. "Okay, if you say so. This might take a while, so listen so I don't have to say it all again. Here's where Leder started..." Then the bug's memories flashed back to Leder's speech, and Claus heard it all in Leder's voice, that of an old man and raspy from lack of use. "'Long ago, there existed a 'world'. A world different from what the people on these islands think of. This 'world' was incredibly big. More people lived on this world than there are grains of sand in the Nowhere Islands."

"Yeah right, it can't be that big!" But he'd seen it. Maybe that huge world really could contain thousands...millions? Hundreds of millions? How many grains of sand were there on Nowhere again?

"I know it may be hard to imagine, but such a world once existed. At some point, that world wound up destroyed. Naturally, it was humans who destroyed it..."

"It was us..?" Everything Porky said about humanity being stupid and self destructive was true? Claus didn't want to believe it.

But as Leder's speech went on, it dropped one bombshell after another shattering everything he thought he knew about Tazmily and the world.

Tazmily's past was all a lie. Mom and Dad and all the other adults hadn't come from here, they had fled here from that vast, apocalyptic world he'd seen and were so traumatized they'd willingly given up their memories and invented a fake past for themselves, tried to invent a utopia and made up new roles and identities for themselves in it so that apocalypse wouldn't happen again here. The worst part was it all made sense, because it explained all the questions no one could answer that he'd kept asking ever since his terrible twos. Why haven't we tried sailing beyond the horizon? What happened a hundred years ago? How about a thousand? Why aren't there any people in Osohe Castle? Why are there only a few grandpas and no grandmas? Why, why, why?

Why had Mom and Dad lied to him?

Lucas had asked Leder if Mom and Dad had been together even before they lost their memories. Leder told him yes, and answered the question he didn't dare ask, too, told him that no fabricated memories could invent or change the kind of love they had. They'd even been thinking of starting a family back then, but didn't get the chance until after the first few turbulent years of building Tazmily before everyone wiped their memories. All the villagers had changed in some way because of their amnesia, but they were still the same people deep down, Leder tried to reassure Lucas. They'd chosen the fabricated stories they did willingly to try to still be themselves, but live new, better lives, with a clean slate from all the horrors of their pasts.

And oh were there horrors. Leder struggled to explain to Lucas the concept of global warming, but he could hardly comprehend how humans let their way of living ever so slowly change the climate from green and full of life like Nowhere's to a chaotic state that was in many places uninhabitable. Then it changed more quickly when the collapsing civilizations fought with weapons that could reduce cities and even larger landscapes to smoking craters and covered the sky in clouds of nuclear ash. It was humans who destroyed it, but not most humans, only the greedy ones in power like Porky. If that world was full of cities ruled by greed like New Pork, Claus could at least start to imagine what it might be like living in it. He wished he could forget the last three years too, but wasn't that just his weakness? Why would Dad run away from his past?

"I wish I could tell you, son, but I don't remember what I was thinkin' back then. Not yet." Dad said after Claus brought Mr. Stinkbug back to his room and asked. "Leder said our memories would come back sooner or later now that he ain't ringing that bell anymore. 'Course, he hasn't been for the last three years ever since the Pigmasks kidnapped him, but it's different now that he went and told us all that we forgot. He thinks that'll jog our memories quicker. So we can either wait for them to come back on their own, or we can use the Egg of Light to get them back the fast way, but he says we should wait until things settle down a little so we don't have all those bad memories distracting us while we're all so busy."

"I get why some folks in town would wanna forget, but why you? Aren't you too brave to need to get rid of your bad memories?"

"Claus, I'm not as good of a father or man as you think I am...I don't know if I ever was."

"But that can't be right!" Had he been chasing a shadow all this time? Was Dad's whole image of a brave, stoic family man just something he made up when he changed his memories? That couldn't be true...

"I think it can be. I might have been a good dad to you before, but I fell apart as soon as we had a real crisis. Who's to say I didn't do the same thing when I was younger? Then I forgot all about it and set myself up to make the same damn mistakes all over again!" Dad said, then wheezed.

"That's not fair, Dad, you don't know that!" Claus said.

"I may not remember much, but I know one thing for sure: there's a damn good reason we chose to live without money in Tazmily. It was capitalism that destroyed the world we knew, Leder said as much, so how could we let ourselves forget that? We didn't even know what money was when Fassad brought it back again. Some folks might say we were acting like sheep, but that's an insult to the sheep. He and Porky played us all for fools..."

"That's still not fair, you couldn't have known back then that Porky would bring all the Pigmasks and people from New Pork here with Time Distorters..." Claus said.

"Maybe, but we still should've been more careful. It would be one thing if it was just us choosing to forget and paying for our mistakes, but you and Lucas and all the other kids paid for them too."

"Yeah, but..." Claus didn't know what to say. Then he remembered. "Dad, I'm gonna say something that sounds a little crazy, and I mighta just imagined it, so don't get mad..."

"Calm down, of course I won't." Dad winced thinking back to the campfire.

"Before Lucas brought me back, I saw Mom!"

"You what?"

"Y-yeah! And she told me she was sorry she sealed away everyone's memories in the Egg! But if Mom did it, she must've thought it was the right thing, right? She'd never do anything selfish! It must've just been 'cuz everyone was having such a hard time living through all that awful stuff Leder talked about, right? She didn't know Porky would show up either!"

"She really said all that? And you're sure it was her?" Dad said with this awful heartbroken hopeful look on his face.

"W-well, that's what I heard, at least...I don't know if I was dreaming or what...I think Porky told me something about the villagers losing their memories once, so I don't know, but I think it was her! She said other stuff, too! She told me how Lucas was trying to bring me back and I had to let him, but I wanted to stay with her, it's not fair, why can't I be with Mom again, why couldn't she come back too, it's not fair, it's not fair!" Claus descended into blubbering and sobs again.

He ran over and gave Dad one of those awkward half hugs again and cried into his shoulder. "I miss Mom, Dad...how are we supposed to just go on without her?"

"I don't know, but we'll find out together. It's what she would want." Dad said and tried to stroke his hair gently the same way Mom did, but it ended up a little awkward due to the position he was in.

Then Claus's stomach growled. When had he last eaten? Not in the hours since his revival, not when he was being repaired after his loss to Lucas or making his trek through the cave...there was a Cup of Pork Noodles before he went to the temple, that was about it.

A little while later, Claus's dinner was a King Burger and a Big City Cola. Only now that he remembered Tazmily was it eerie how little he knew about where the food for these things came from, how they were made, and by whom. The commander had never complained or rejoiced, whether it was served bland military rations or gourmet meals or the far too common fast food. It wasn't that he couldn't taste how good or bad food was back then, he just didn't care. Mostly. He did owe some thanks to the chefs for what little relief the better meals brought him in those times.

"What's the problem, kiddo? You've barely taken a bite. Not a fan of pork?"

"How'd you guess?"

"I'm fine with it, but I figure you'd get sick of it after working for them for three years."

"Yeah...it doesn't taste bad, it just reminds me of them...it's funny, 'cuz Luke used to be the one who hated pork when we were little. One time he cried his guts out cause he got along with one of Butch's piglets and didn't wanna eat it when it grew up...I guess I'm the crybaby now, haha..." He laughed awkwardly.

"Hey, everyone's got different tastes. You could always throw it out."

"Sure, but Mom always said not to waste food."

So he ate the rest of it as fast as he could to appease his growling stomach and washed down the taste of pig with the bubbly soda. Not exactly a healthy meal, as the doctor pointed out, but enough to keep him fed and make him sleepy. Just what kind of chemicals did they put in this stuff?

And yet, despite his eyes becoming increasingly tired, his brain kept him awake well into the night. Duster, as it turned out, was similarly insomniac, while Dr. Andonuts looked accustomed to pulling all-nighters as he did now with amounts of caffeine that were no doubt unhealthy at his old age. By the time Kumatora hit the metaphorical hay, finally giving in to her own exhaustion, Claus was left with little to do except restlessly tap his foot and hold his right shoulder at the uncanny half-numb seam between flesh and metal.

"Can you at least get rid of the arm? It wasn't that hard for you to do it when I got hurt earlier and you had to replace it." Claus said.

"I'll admit it's true that removing it is a relatively simple procedure, but that time I was replacing it, it would be quite the handicap to lose it for good."

"I'll figure it out somehow. It's my fault I lost my arm and eye to the Drago, anyways, so I'd rather live with that than have this thing there."

"Well, if you insist, just remember you can always have it back if you change your mind."

They had to go elsewhere in the hospital where he had the equipment to get it removed. It was eerie how easily it just slid out with a mechanical hiss and left nothing but a lack of weight and this weird phantom sensation like his long lost real arm was still there. When he thought back, he'd still had that feeling as the commander, even when the metal arm was still there with all its lack of tangible sensation other than the signals the machine half of his brain sent and received.

How did that even work, anyhow? Hadn't the doc said once that it was the right side of the brain that controlled the left half of the human body and vice versa? So how did the machine that had taken the place of the left side of his brain remember what his lost right arm felt like? Was it some psychic nonsense, or did whatever sciencey mumbo jumbo Dr. Andonuts said about scanning the brain's patterns onto a machine really work that well despite how much they'd also tried to wipe his memory, even if they weren't aiming at muscle memory in particular? He hadn't the slightest idea. It brought to mind that old myth about some guy named Theseus and his stupid boat he kept replacing the parts of...he was still himself, wasn't he?

If he'd really seen Mom back then, then she thought so.

"Gah, I didn't mean to bump into you lik-oh my pork, you're Lucas!"

A guy with an arm in a cast said after bumping into Claus when he rounded a corner on his way back, then backed away from him trembling and bowing his head. Claus nearly toppled over sideways, unable to steady himself against the wall with the right arm that wasn't there, if not for Dr. Andonuts grabbing him and helping him regain his balance. Everything felt a little off balance without the weight of his right arm.

"I'm so sorry for everything at Thunder Tower! You were right, everything I was doing there was terrible, and I'm lucky you only broke an arm: I barely got out of there before they bombed it just because you were there! Then they covered it up and blamed it on your team...I was an idiot, I never thought I was just as expendable as you to them...that's why I deserted. I probably deserve worse than a broken arm, but for what it's worth, I'm really sorry I hurt your sheep."

"Huh?" Who was this and what did he mean hurting his sheep?! Before Claus could say anything more, more thoughts flooded his head.

"Are you the one who runs this thing and makes it fire lightning bolts at the houses of folks who won't buy Happy Boxes?" Lucas said with his back to his teammates and the huge power coil that took up most of this room. "Did you kill Fluffy?"

"N-no, I'm just the janitor!" Sheep hastily lied but it was a poor one given his blue uniform indicating a more important role than a mere grunt. "Wait, who's Fluffy?"

"HE WAS MY FRIEND!" Lucas yelled with tears in his eyes.

Sheep tried to get out his gun but Lucas broke both it and his right arm with a swing of his stick that sent him crashing into the wall next to the console, where he slid down and bruised some more ribs. "I'msorryIonlydidwhatIwastoldpleasedon'tkillme!" He blurted out once he could do something besides scream, trying to shield his helmeted face with his other arm.

Lucas raised his stick again and his teammates looked shocked...but then he stopped. Was it because he didn't have it in him or because he could read Sheep's thoughts that he only did it out of fear of Fassad's punishment? Sheep didn't know.

"I heard all those horrible things about Porky, too, I had no idea he was planning tha-"

"I'm not Lucas!"

"You're not?" Sheep looked up, then finally noticed his missing right arm and red left eye, then saluted, or rather attempted to on reflex with his broken right arm and groaned, then did so successfully with the left, but still stiffly and awkwardly. "Oh! I'm sorry, Command-"

"Don't call me that! I never wanted to work for Porky, he forced me to!"

"But Porky said you voluntee-"

"He lied! And I didn't correct him 'cuz I wasn't myself, or else I never woulda wanted assholes like you under my command! You made Lucas cry..." Electricity crackled in his only remaining hand. It was so tempting.

But what would Mom think? What would Lucas think once he woke up, knowing saving Claus hurt or even killed someone else? Claus knew other people couldn't talk to animals like he and Lucas could, and then there was the whole calculation of differing lifespans and intelligence, and these outsiders had never spent time with the pets or livestock of Tazmily to develop any sort of attachment. They wouldn't know what his family's sheep meant to him or Lucas.

"N-no, I can't, this isn't what Luke would want...m'sorry..."

Claus let the sparks fade out leaving only a static tingle on his shaking hand. Time and again he'd proven his judgement couldn't be trusted. There was too much blood on this hand and the two hands he'd lost already, and now he didn't have the excuse of not being in control. Not that he'd had it for the Drago, or...himself...he didn't deserve this power to hold lightning and death in his hands and be judge, jury, and executioner anymore. He wished he'd never asked for it in that desperate rage the day after Mom died. He wished Aeolia had been wise enough not to give it to him in the first place. After all, he had a bad habit of repaying those who helped him with death, whether he wanted to or not.

"Easy now, my boy...you've had a long day, to put it mildly, no one can blame you for being short tempered now." Dr. Andonuts said, then looked at Sheep. "To answer your question, yes, that was a lie, Porky didn't want the soldiers to know their commander was being controlled against his will on top of being so young. I'd know, since I was the one who handled his reconstruction, so I have as much blame to shoulder as you if not more. I suppose I didn't destroy houses with lightning, but my work led to the Chimeras being created in the first place. Think on the bright side: you're young, so you have many years ahead of you to make up for it, you won't have to work half as hard as I will."

...Was that advice meant for him, too?

Sheep was still a nervous wreck when they left him behind. Since when could Lucas inspire such fear in people? Since when could Claus?

It made more sense the more he thought back to his memories as the commander. The Pigmasks were hardly an efficient fighting force. Only some of them had actual prior combat experience from the times they came from, and some of those previously trained in weapons were used to jobs like the police where they almost never faced an opponent capable of fighting back with equal firepower, let alone more. The same went for their role in New Pork City and the Nowhere Islands as a whole. So naturally cowardice was rampant the moment they caught a glimpse of Lucas and his friends' exploits, both their actual feats of heroism on top of all the lies and slander spread about them to try to make them seem like terrifying, vicious 'terrorists' that had to be crushed without mercy. They'd call a thirteen year old boy a 'young man' the same way they did with him to have all the soldiers push back any unsettling thoughts that they were working for or trying to kill a kid. And yet, at the same time, the public had to be reassured that the army would easily defeat any enemies of the law, as if the enemy was both strong and weak depending on what suited the narrative. The Pigmasks had no cause truly worth fighting for, only empty nationalism, money, fear of punishment, and delusions of grandeur. No wonder their morale crumbled so quickly in the face of adversity while Lucas was unshakable.

The commander hadn't had anything worth fighting for either. Even after Porky in some twisted way gave him the strength he'd wanted to kill the Drago, he never stood a chance against Lucas. He was nothing more than an empty shell of what he wanted to be, while Lucas shined brighter than either of them had ever imagined.

And yet once he got back, Lucas didn't seem strong at all. He was squirming in his bed just the way he had when they were little.

"Ngh...no, Claus, don't leave me..! I won't get in your way, I promise, but you don't know what'll happen if you go after the Drago!" Lucas mumbled.

Lucas ran after Claus in a nightmarish landscape of the graveyard except with all the bodies crawling out of their graves and the sky being a swirling red and black. Mom's hand burst from the ground and grabbed Lucas's ankle.

"Why couldn't you save me?"

"And you just let him go?! You fool!" An Eerie Smile manifested out of thin air and bit down on Lucas's other ankle. 'You fool' kept echoing in Grandpa's voice even after Lucas tore his feet free from both attackers.

"Let's switch places." Claus said while Lucas chased him and ran from the zombies. Then they were in the cave beneath New Pork City and the zombies were now the Pigmasks and all the other enemies that had attacked Lucas throughout his journey, and Claus was wearing his commander's outfit and helmet.

"The boy named Lucas is bullying animals...the boy named Lucas learned some bad magic..." Said a Monkalrus lying in a bloody heap just like other Chimeras up ahead that Lucas had fought in the past. Lucas tried not to trip over them while he kept chasing Claus.

Then they were in that sunflower field and Claus looked like he was ten but with blood pouring from his stump of a right arm and his eye, soaking the sunflowers red and making them wilt in a wave of decay around him.

"You wish it coulda been you, don't you? You wish I was the one losing you so you got to be with Mom again!"

Just when he finally started to catch up, they were at the edge of Drago Plateau and Mom's ghostly figure appeared floating in the sky. Claus jumped off the edge towards her.

Lucas ran up to the edge.

Then they switched places. He tried to hug Mom, but passed right through her intangible form without being able to feel her warmth.

"Why are you so selfish?" Claus said looking down from the cliffside as Lucas fell down towards the rocky ground.

Lucas screamed.

"Ahhh!" Lucas woke up with a scream too.

"It's okay, Luke, I'm here!" Claus instinctively tried to hug him from the side, but Lucas flinched away in fear the moment he saw his stump of an arm and that red eye. "Fuck, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to help!" Claus backed a few steps away but somehow that only made Lucas shudder more with sobs and hiccups.

"N-no, come back, I'm sorry, you just looked like, like, in the dream your arm was gone and you were bleeding and-!"

Claus stepped forward and Lucas didn't bother trying to finish his sentence and just clung to him for dear life while descending into wails and frantic breaths. Claus tried to hug back with the only arm he had left.

"I'm alright, so calm down, okay?" He tried to calm himself down too, upsetting as this was, because what kinda example was he giving him if he panicked too? He'd never been much good at calming Lucas down from his nightmares, usually Mom had to do it for him while he just groaned from being woken up. Lucas actually got being a deep sleeper from Dad, not Mom, while he and Mom were the light sleepers. Mom, unlike him, could handle all Lucas's night terrors with a smile, even in those days when they were based in no real danger or sadness except his fearsome imagination, then gently lull him back to sleep in a way Claus lacked the skill or patience for.

"Y'sure this ain't another d-dream?" Lucas said, his chest still heaving with shuddering breaths.

"No, this is real, you didn't imagine bringing me back! This is the real me...I think...but I know that me in your dream wasn't real, 'cuz I'd never say something so mean!" How could Lucas ever think he could?

"Y-you saw?!" They'd never been able to see each others' dreams like this before their PSI awakened, at least not so directly. They'd only get little feelings people could dismiss as just an especially strong sibling bond between twins. "I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean to imagine you like that!" Lucas said.

"No, I'm sorry, it's not your fault your nightmares are like-"

"But I do that when I'm awake too!" Lucas sobbed. "I thought you'd be mad I didn't tell everyone to go look for you sooner! And 'cause I couldn't save you from the Pigmasks hurting you! I u-used your voice to be mad at myself..."

"I thought you'd be mad at me too, but you weren't! It's okay, I know you weren't trying to make me seem like a bad person, you just thought you were, but you were wrong!" Claus said while only able to hold one of Lucas's shoulders perhaps too tightly, trying to look him in the eye and get the message across. "I'm sure you didn't wanna make Grandpa seem mean, either..."

"But..."

"Grandpa wouldn't say something like that, right?"

"Ummm..."

"Grandpa wouldn't say something like that, right?!"

"Don't be mad please!" Lucas said wincing his eyes shut, and that made Claus wince in shame too. "It's not his fault, he didn't mean to, he said he was sorry, he was hurting too since Mom was gone and he thought you were too because of me!"

Another false image shattered like glass. He hadn't idolized Grandpa the way he did Dad, but Grandpa was still Mom's dad, wasn't he? How could someone like her come from someone capable of being so mean? Then again, he was Mom's son, and he'd ended up like this, so maybe the apple could fall far from the tree after all. Or maybe he took more after Dad and Dad wasn't like he thought...

"It was because of me, not you, he should've known that...wait, why didn't he move back home and take care of you if Dad was always away looking for me? We coulda made space for his animals back on the farm and moved 'em there..."

"That's 'cuz the Pigmasks blew up his cabin with lightning, and then they put Grandpa in the old folks' home with Wess and Mike...I did visit him sometimes, though, and he was real sorry..."

Suddenly he was glad he'd discovered this only after meeting Sheep. Of course, the commander had already known about the demolition of homes, including Alec's, it was just a matter of putting the information in context in his brain.

"Well, they're not gonna boss us around any more, and if they try, I won't let 'em! Grandpa better be sorry, and he better make up for not being there for you enough just like Dad. I'm gonna be there for you, too, I'll stay right here..." Honestly, he wanted to yell and scream a lot more in perhaps for once justified anger for Lucas's sake, but what good had that ever done him? It took all his restraint to keep his mouth shut for now and just give Lucas a tight hug again. Well, as tight as a one armed hug could be.

"Okay...just don't leave me again, I can't bring you back a second time..."

Slowly, Lucas's breaths started to slow down from their frantic pace as he cried into Claus's shoulder. The one that was still all flesh and blood. If he could still be a shoulder for his little brother to lean on, at least something was still right in the world despite all these turned tables. Er. Not that he wanted Lucas to cry and need his help. But if he could still give that support, then he wasn't just a monster. As Lucas's sobs quieted down, he ran his hand through Lucas's hair gently just like Mom did when he had those nightmares, albeit more awkwardly. Just like Lucas had for him after bringing him back. Just like Dad had a little while ago.

If some part of each of them had died with Mom, then did some part of her live on through them...?

Since when did he get his head in the clouds all philosophical like that? Wasn't that Lucas's thing? Fact was, she was gone, and they'd have to live with that somehow...

Lucas didn't pass out in his arms this time, but he managed to get back to sleep surprisingly quickly despite everything. Maybe he really was that exhausted.

So was Claus. For a while, it was hard to sleep, distracted by his thoughts and if he concentrated, the sensation of his missing arm and even his fingers. But eventually, his body gave in to fatigue.

...

Claus didn't sleep peacefully either. This time his imagination gave him a nightmare where he hadn't been able to stop himself from killing Lucas and his friends and waking up the Dragon, tearing the islands to pieces.

The Commander usually didn't wake up shouting from nightmares like this. Usually. It just shuddered and kept all its feelings it wasn't meant to have to itself, ran through all the calculations and data and directives it could to put its thoughts as far away from those hazy lost memories as it could, to be anything but Claus. He'd been afraid part of him was just a machine taught to act like a person, but maybe it was the other way around...he was the one acting like a machine to escape feeling like a human being...but now he couldn't escape anymore, and all the feelings he'd put behind that dam were flooding him now.

Somehow, Lucas was at his side quickly despite how much of a heavy sleeper he was, it must have been because of whatever telepathic link they had as psychic twins acting up.

"It's okay, Claus, I'm right here!" Lucas tried to hug him, but Claus held out his shaky left arm to keep him away.

"It's not your fault, but I can't, I dreamed about hurting you, about killing you!"

"But you didn't, that wasn't real..."

"It could've been! It was so hard to get back to being myself again, what if it hadn't worked?"

"Well...then I would've forgiven you."

"But I wouldn't deserve it! You should still be mad I hurt you so much, I'm a m-monster..." He sniffled.

"I wish you wouldn't call yourself names like that." Lucas looked so hurt. How could he project his self-loathing onto him like that? "But it doesn't matter what names you call yourself, you can't make me stop loving you."

Claus sobbed and gave in to the urge to cling to him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put me being mad at myself on you! I just can't take it...I'm scared...I still feel like I wanna die, even though I know I shouldn't, but I don't wanna hurt you..."

"And you're not gonna. It's okay, calm down...I know it's hard, but you said you wouldn't hurt yourself, and I trust you...I'm scared too, but we'll get through this together..."

"But this isn't right, I don't wanna be a burden on you like this! I'm supposed to be the one protecting you! You're hurting enough already and now I'm making you deal with me being a crybaby!"

"You're not a burden, Claus, I'd feel worse if I didn't help, and you've been through even worse. You don't gotta do anything special to protect me, just seeing you okay is all I need to be happy..."

"Then I'm a hypocrite! I felt good helping you, too, but I still hate making you take care of me...I know you like it, but it's just, I'm supposed to be the big brother! Right? And if I'm not, if I'm the weak one now and I can't help you back, then I can't do anything to make up for all the awful stuff I did..."

"I keep telling ya it's not your fault, and you've done plenty already, you helped me when I had a nightmare too. Just having you back has already made me so happy. I missed you so much..."

"I missed you too, Luke! I didn't even remember you, but everything felt wrong without you and Mom..."

"I know...just breathe, okay?" Lucas said holding him gently and trying to calm him down. "Just keep breathing and waking up every morning. I know it's hard and you're overwhelmed by everything, I am too, but we'll take it one step at a time together."

"Okay..."

Somehow he got at least a few more hours of sleep.

Chapter Text

For once, Lucas woke up before him.

It turned out Lucas had gone around healing as many people in the hospital as he could with his PSI, even Sheep. There were some injuries healing PSI could fix that an Instant Revitalizing Device couldn't, mostly internal ones its healing fluids couldn't reach, and it did a better job telekinetically setting and then mending broken bones. But it had limits. It could only accelerate the natural healing process and give it more energy, not fix things that normally could never heal, so Lucas couldn't regenerate Claus's arm or fix a broken spine, and the healed wounds would still be sore since all that rapidly regrown flesh and skin was still new and raw. People called Lucas a hero, even a saint. The fact he brushed off all their praise only made them call him humble too. Of course, not everyone's opinions were the same, not all the Pigmasks he and his friends had put in the hospital were happy about it, even if they knew overthrowing Porky had been a good thing. But even so, no one dared try to hurt him, especially whenever Kumatora was there watching his back and shooting glares at anyone who gave Lucas a weird look. He had come so far.

Claus, on the other hand, was busy finding out his impulsive decision to live with only one arm had consequences. It was harder to eat or change his clothes out of the hospital gown into the spare clothes they loaned him, and he couldn't even tie his shoes. Apparently he couldn't be trusted to take care of himself either, since Duster told him Lucas had only been willing to leave his bedside once Duster stayed behind to watch over him, and later that morning, when Duster's bass-ackwards circadian rhythm and insomnia finally caught up to him, Kumatora took his place. Dr. Andonuts was still pulling an all-nighter, which he'd used to finish setting up his broadcast that informed the public of the rest of the necessary details about the Commander and how he hadn't done what he did of his own free will, all before Claus had woken up.

That was why when after breakfast he finally got a chance to take a look around, over half the people he ran into radiated enough pity he'd be able to tell even if he wasn't psychic, and not just for his arm and eye, but however many horrors they'd heard from Dr. Andonuts about how he was reforged into this killing machine. The ones who asked what it was like were bad enough, but even worse was the constant reflexive saluting. Even people mistaking him for Lucas like Sheep was preferable to that. Better to be mistaken for his twin than treated like he still was that shell of a human being, still had their respect, or even their fear or disdain.

Then again, he deserved that last part, didn't he?

But how did anyone still mistake him for Lucas, anyhow? They'd been confused with each other as little kids, sure, but then he'd started dyeing his hair orange and making an effort to distinguish himself ever since he was four. Always the strong one, always one step ahead, blazing his trail chasing after Dad's image while Lucas meekly followed behind, led by the hand by Mom one careful step at a time. He should've paid more attention to that tortoise and hare fable, but Lucas was the bookish one. Just like the hare he'd taken all his blessings for granted. Whatever natural strength and courage he had was no match for Lucas's tenacity earned one painful step at a time.

He'd taken Mom for granted too, hadn't he?

...Anyway. The Commander was unable to recognize itself or Lucas in its reflection, so how could others see Lucas in him? There was the fact he'd usually worn long sleeves and gloves, covering up the prosthetic arm. The helmet's visor was opaque only to those looking in, so that concealed his red eye. So fine, maybe the average Pigmask soldier might not know the extent of his modifications. But it wasn't just their appearances, he sounded different from Lucas too. Even though they were identical twins with all the same vocal cords, they had a different tone. Lucas managed to be more softspoken and quiet compared to him being boisterous and loud, except when he was the Commander and talked in that monotone but steely voice distinct from Lucas's in another way. So how had those incompetent Pigmasks mistaken Lucas for him multiple times in the conflict?

Did the soldiers really know him that little? Maybe that wasn't as strange as he thought...how often did he even talk to people outside of giving and receiving orders back then, and how many soldiers were around him consistently? Sometimes, Porky would rotate out the Commander's shift of bodyguards whenever some of them asked too many questions about his youthful appearance and the ethics of him serving at such a young age...and those who did know him better weren't the ones who mistook his identity, with most soldiers having little contact with him except maybe hearing his voice a few times and seeing him from afar or over a screen...it was nothing like Tazmily where everyone knew everyone...

"Do take care to mind the dosage. It would normally be higher, but his brain only has half the usual gray matter, you see." Dr. Andonuts had been rattling off Claus's list of medications to Dad and Claus had missed at least half of it.

"Y'sure he really needs all this?" Dad said in a much less hoarse voice than yesterday. "Listen, I know ya mean well, but I can't help bein' suspicious of anything messin' with my son's head."

"Me too, I thought you said I was done having stuff in my head tellin' me how to feel." Claus said.

"And you are done, I promise! But you have to understand, you show so many symptoms of clinical depression...it's not that I'm doing anything to control you, it's that your brain quite simply does not produce enough of the chemicals that make you happy, and this medication will compensate for that."

"I still don't like it...aren't I more than just a bunch of chemicals?" Claus said.

"Yes, of course, but this is still important for your health. I must insist you at least keep taking the medications you already are: sudden changes in dosage can be dangerous, and without the cyclosporine, for example, your body could reject the very implants that keep you alive! I suppose Adderall is less essential, but you had major challenges with your attention deficit hyperactive disorder before you began taking it..." The fact he'd tuned out so much was proof already. He remembered those hazy early days as the Commander, too. How time could slow to a crawl or go by in a blur while he paced the lab's halls or kept himself always active going from one task to the next. Torn between half of his brain always being so bored and tired and the other half's mechanical precision. Thinking back, the meds had brought him the clarity he wanted back then, but he also had that machine-like focus that pushed away any thoughts of using his newfound executive function to do what he wanted or have any fun. So, now that he didn't have all that brainwashing, they should help, right?

"Ugh, fine...I'll keep taking those ones, but I don't need anything to make me less sad, I don't wanna run away from my feelings like a coward."

"It's not cowardice to make your brain function the way it should, but I can see I won't get anywhere like this, and I'm not going to force you to do anything anymore. You can take the anti-depressants home with you along with the other meds in case you change your mind, but make sure you let me know when if you start taking them, and don't forget your regular checkups!"

"Okay, I get it, I get it, I'm not gonna be stupid. But what about Dad, is he gonna be okay?" He didn't have the tube in him anymore at least, only some bandages under his clothes.

"Didn't I already mention that? Yes, he should be fine, his lung has healed. Just take it easy for the next few weeks, Flint, your wounds will still be sore for some time." He said now looking at Dad.

"I thought I was listening..." Claus said.

"Ah...now that I think back on it, I forgot your morning dose of Adderall, it must have slipped my mind when I was putting your other pills at the table...perhaps I'm getting too old for these all-nighters."

Once their talk was over and he took it, just like he thought it worked like a charm. Now that he was awake and focused and Dad was okay, all they had to do was head back home.

"Wait, how are we supposed to go back home now? Isn't Tazmily a ghost town now?" Claus said.

"Hmm...good question. You at least won't have to hike all the way across the islands, there's enough Porkships, boats, and other airborne vehicles like the pods and those odd flying limousines to transport all of the villagers and then some."

"But does everyone even want to go back after they all got tricked into coming here?" Claus said.

"We'll just have to ask them, then, won't we?" Dad said.

So they tried to get in touch with the other villagers scattered throughout New Pork City. Dad wasn't the most savvy with the phones or internet, but Claus remembered enough from his time as the Commander and naturally Dr. Andonuts knew what he was doing.

First things first, they regrouped with Lucas. After he'd exhausted himself healing just about everyone in the hospital, he got in one of those Instant Revitalizing Devices, then headed out to visit someone else.

"Boney?" Claus said when he saw the goodest cleverest boy in the world again.

"Woof!" ("I missed you so much, Claus!")

Boney ran across the veterinary clinic carpet and would have soon been slobbering all over Claus if he didn't put his one hand out to warn him away instead of petting him. "Wait! Aren't you mad I hurt you?" The weight of it hit him now more than ever. He'd hurt his puppy.

Boney whined sadly. ("You didn't want to, did you?") Claus tried to avert his gaze from those puppy dog eyes.

"No, but I still did it...I can't trust myself, I don't deserve this, just stay with Lucas!"

Boney whined again. ("I just want you back...I just want a belly rub...") For once the dog was the one giving commands.

"Just listen to him, Claus." Lucas said with a frown. "Punishin' yourself like this is just gonna make him sad."

"Yeah, kiddo, you're just being dumb." Kumatora said. "I've been around Boney for a while now and he loves you to death, he never judged you for a second even when we knew you were the commander."

"But I...ok, fine..." Claus crouched down and pet Boney like he wanted. Clever as his boy was, he never got his head in the clouds agonizing over complicated human things like Lucas and now Claus too, he was just full of love. And saliva. "Haha, stop it..!" Claus said when Boney licked his face. Must have been the first time he'd genuinely laughed since...god, how long had it been? "I missed you too, Boney..." Everyone else looked happy to see them reunited too.

Claus remembered Boney's smell. Other than his usual odor he smelled like he'd recently been thoroughly washed with some kind of disinfectant and shampoo, and that still wasn't quite enough to get out all the sewer smell that had stuck to him through over three hot springs before this. "Wait, the sewers! Are you sure Boney didn't get sick down there?"

"The vet said he's fine, he just needs to take it easy since he's gotten hurt and exhausted himself a lot in the last few days. I 'spose that goes for all of us, too, 'specially me..." Duster said. All that fighting Pigmask armies and saving the world couldn't be good for his limp, even with PSI healing and hot springs. "But that's only physically speaking. I know I don't have it the worst mentally, that would go to you and Lucas and Kumatora, so y'all should take it easy too. Especially you, Claus...it can't be easy coming back from all that and havin' to live without an arm too...not that it's a competition or nothin'."

"That's different. You never wanted to have a limp, but I chose to get rid of that arm, and I could always put it back on, so it's my fault it's hard without it. It's not that bad."

There was this haunted look in Duster's eyes.

"...You shouldn't take about yerself like that. Dismissing your hardship just ain't right. Besides, it's not like you wanted to lose your real arm in the first place, and that's why you got rid of this one, since it isn't natural."

"I could've not gone after the Drago, so it's my fault I lost it!"

"Duster...it was my fault you lost full use of your left leg. I'm sorry...don't leave me again." The hallucination of Wess on Tanetane Island said.

Another hallucination appeared of a teenage Duster who tried climbing a cliff wall with his Wall Staples, but the two he held gave way, making him fall to the ground with a sickening crack. He screamed.

"You told me it was safe, Dad!" He said once he could stop screaming. "B-but it was too unstable! I said I w-agh! W-wasn't ready and you made me do it anyways!"

"Stop blaming me already, what's done is done!" A slightly less old hallucination of Wess said trying to hide the guilt on his face. "Just calm down and let me set your leg!" Another sickening crack followed by a scream. "There...I know it hurts like hell, but it should get better in a few months..."

It didn't. Not quite. Wess apologized eventually once he realized it wouldn't, but only for the disability. Not how he raised him overall.

"I could've not listened when Dad told me to climb that cliff, I knew in my gut it wasn't safe..." A slightly older teenage Duster muttered to himself bitterly. "I could've avoided being stuck with this limp." But he'd wanted too badly to prove he was finally good enough.

"You can't blame yourself for being reckless when you were just a little kid going through such a hard time. All the adults around ya should've been the ones to keep you safe, but we didn't, and that's on us...you don't deserve to suffer just because you made a few mistakes." Duster said while thinking back to the mushroom-induced hallucinations he'd gotten on Tanetane Island.

Claus tried to believe him when they were done talking and kept making their way through the city. His latest headache worsened as they made their way through New Pork and encountered more and more strangers with all their thoughts and emotions in the air at once. At this rate, he was just like Lucas used to be, shying away from even the small crowds old Tazmily could manage.

"Let me guess, kiddo, you're having trouble tuning out everyone's thoughts."

"How'd you know?"

"Every newbie psychic gets that problem, and I had to help Lucas figure out how to do it too when he got to the club."

"Yeah, Kuma's a lifesaver..." Lucas said.

"I just thought it wouldn't happen to you since you've had your powers for years now."

"I don't know, everything's felt weird since I came back...I don't know if it's because I got brought back, or 'cause there's a machine in my head, or both. It used to be easier, though, when I was the commander. Fassad-I mean, Locria-he didn't teach me about telepathy, but I could do it anyways...maybe it's 'cause I was numb to everything? Sometimes I heard people's thoughts when I wasn't trying to. Not as much as now, but it happened, I just didn't care as much, so I could focus on something else..."

"Well, whatever it is, just lemme help you block all that noise out." She slowly put her hand on his head gently and he let her. Then, bit by bit, the noise quieted down and the throbbing ache began to numb. "There, that should be better...you'll get the hang of doing it on your own eventually, don't worry."

She spent a little while longer giving him some tips on how exactly to do that. Psychic senses were a bit like hearing in some ways, like how you could choose who to listen to in a crowd if you tried, and you could put on earplugs of sorts with your psychic powers. Of course, even those didn't make things perfectly silent, but it was enough to not spy on people's thoughts by accident or get overwhelmed by a crowd's thoughts or feelings.

It was strange having someone somewhat close to his age show him the ropes like this, almost like he was the younger sibling for once. How could she do that so earnestly even after he'd torn her family apart? He tried not to question it...

They kept heading closer to the devastated central area of the city. Even from this far, they could see the once towering Empire Porky Building was reduced to rubble along with many of the buildings around it, with large cracks and fissures running through the earth. The fact the city was built into a mountain was a recipe for disaster when it was hit by an earthquake like this, it was a miracle it hadn't all been destroyed.

An enormous crowd was gathering in Pork Square, a huge commercial intersection surrounded by tall buildings, some collapsed on their sides and all with billboards on them or fallen from them, most of their neon lights and advertisements faded. There were several crashed cars and Pork Beans the crowd had to weave around in this no longer functional road, but somehow no casualties. The Dragon's power had shielded everyone from the cataclysms including the earthquake. A few dim lights were still on thanks to reserve power generators, and the crowd was gathered around one of the store entrances which had some speakers and a mic dragged there.

It wasn't hard to see it was Leder they were all listening to, his head was far above the rest of the crowd.

The crowd was full of New Porkers and villagers alike, with so many faces Claus hadn't seen in ages.

"Fuel!" Claus ran over to him and Fuel did the same nearly tackling Claus with a hug. How long had it been since he saw his best friend? Well, Lucas was his best friend too, but he was family, and Boney was his pet, so it was different. It could always be a tie. He held him back almost as tightly even with only one arm.

"Claus! Ever since I heard you were back I wanted to visit you so bad, but the doc wouldn't let me!"

"I missed you too, man. I'm sorry I said all that stuff and ran off like that, I wasn't thinking how I'd make people miss me..."

"Hey, you already said sorry for the first part, and I'm sorry too. I should've gotten Dad to watch you and Lucas and keep you from running away, but he was too busy taking care of me since our house burned down..." Fuel said with a frown and let go of the hug and backed off.

"It's not your fault no one knew I was that stupid." Claus said. "Even if he did, I would've snuck out somehow anyways."

"It was a hard night for everyone after Mom died, so no one was thinking that clearly, and you got sick from breathing in all that smoke. Don't be so hard on yourself." Lucas said.

"Yeah, well maybe she wouldn't have died if-!"

"Don't say it." Lucas said. "We've talked about this before, Dad wouldn't have made it to where we were in time even if he didn't have to get you out of your house before it burnt down."

"You really felt like that all this time..?" Claus said with horror. "Why didn't you tell me, man? That's not fair, you shouldn't put that on yourself..."

"I didn't wanna bother you, that's all, and I only had the chance to say it the next morning before you were gone. But if you're gonna say that, then you better stop doing that too."

"Uh..."

"There you are, Claus!" Grandpa said, managing to fit through gaps in the crowd.

"Oh...hi, Grandpa." Claus said awkwardly.

"What's the matter, aren't you happy to see me too?" He was, but..."No, never mind, you've had such a hard day, so no wonder. I'm just so glad you're still alive after all." He complained about others walking on eggshells, and yet it felt wrong to bring it up when Lucas said Grandpa had already said sorry. At least, not right now.

"What happened to your arm?!" Alle said. She'd gotten so much bigger than three years ago, even though she was still three years younger than him. "I missed you so much...you said you would come back, but you didn't, and everyone thought you were d-dead, and I heard about all that awful stuff that happened to you, and it was so sad, and, and, WAAAAA!" She descended into incoherent wailing.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, but don't worry about my arm, I'm okay. I think..." Claus said.

"There, there, easy now..." Alle's mom, Nan, said after following her through the crowd, then held her and wiped her tears. Not far behind her was Alle's sister Nana, whose face lit up at the sight of Claus.

"Hi, Claus! Oh my gosh, it's been so long, I thought I'd never see you again! So much happened while you were gone! I learned how to play the yanopi, the Pigmasks industrialized the whole town, wait, I guess you know that already, because you were working for them. I heard they 'brainwashed' you somehow, how does that even work? The old man on TV tried to explain it, but I didn't get any of those science terms he was saying. Are you sure you're okay now?" He and Nana were peas in a pod sometimes when it came to rambling on and on.

"Yeah, I'm okay, and I don't get all the science stuff either, but he says they can't control me anymore."

"Oh thank god, I can't imagine what that's like. Do you think there were cyborgs people could control like that in the old world too? Gosh, no wonder our parents ran away from that! Right, that reminds me, I can't believe all the stuff Leder said, that means Dad was right all along that there's way more land out there beyond the horizon! But it's all destroyed 'cause of global warming, whatever that's 'sposed to be...oh, I should shut up now!"

"No, it's fine, you can keep going." He said.

"No, no, I want you to be able to hear Leder talk, I think he's really onto something. He must've spent a whole lotta time thinking about what to say, because ever since he said he was only pretending to be mute all this time, he's been even more of a chatterbox than me!"

"Alright, I'll listen..."

Conveniently, Claus had stumbled in at a good time so that when he started listening in, he could make at least some sense of what he was talking about.

"I'm sure you all remember how Fassad claimed the Pigmask system would bring happiness to Tazmily. He said that in Pigmask society, anyone could be successful, and we had a right to find happiness. Some of you may be aware that Porky based New Pork City's name and much of its design on Eagleland's New York City, also known as Fourside. That country's classical liberal ideals said that humans have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So, why is it that society's laws do not say we have universal rights to food, shelter, and medicine? It is never stated outright, but by not granting these rights, our current system implicitly demands we prove to the capitalists that we are good enough to deserve them." Leder said.

Porky had ranted about communism a few times to the Commander. Mostly he said it was just some utopian hippie nonsense that never worked and never could. That on paper, its supporters said they wanted equality for all which would bring an end to poverty, but its leaders abused that to gain power just like the capitalists and ended up starving their own people out of greed. The Commander never talked back or questioned his judgement. But now, Claus had to wonder.

"What is the difference between a homeless person and a criminal? A criminal has the right to food and shelter. What is the difference between a medical bill and a fine? In theory, those receiving fines did something wrong. And if those homeless and sick die from cold, starvation, or disease that could have been prevented with abundantly available resources, what is the difference between those deaths and the execution of a murderer on death row? A murderer in theory must be proven guilty first. Of course, this is not to defend the Pigmasks' obscene justice system, I myself was kidnapped and held prisoner for three years without being charged with a crime or given the right to a trial, and many others have been treated similarly, so naturally I oppose the death penalty. But I digress. The point here is how the system punishes the poor."

Leder took a moment to clear his throat and drink some water.

"I can't believe he was kidnapped all this time..." Nana whispered.

"Yeah, Mr. Stinkbug said they had him stuck in this jail cell next to the sewers. He had to crouch a lot since the ceiling wasn't tall enough, he could only stand up where it had a hole to the second floor. He's probably sore all over..." Claus whispered back.

"At least he's still alive, people thought he was dead after he was missing so long..." Nana said sadly.

Just like Nana's dad who had gone missing at sea, Nana left unsaid. Just like Claus.

"I wish your dad could've come back too...why was it only me?" Claus said with a sniffle. "What did I do to deserve this compared to your dad, or Mom?"

"Hey, don't go there..." Lucas gave his left hand a reassuring squeeze. "They'd be glad you're okay too. I know it's not fair, but Nana's happy at least you made it back."

"Yeah..." She said. "I know Dad has to be gone by now, but I think I can move on, don't worry."

"T-thanks, Luke." He let go and wiped his eyes. Those darn turned tables.

He tried to listen to the speech again.

"Now, one counterargument often made is that ending poverty entirely is impossible due to scarcity, and attempting to do so is futile and only rewards the lazy. First of all, everyone going a little hungry is better than some starving to death, and it is the bourgeoisie who can afford to be idle. Secondly, throughout human history, there have been many eras and societies with true scarcity, but that is not true today thanks to how modern technology has increased productivity. There are more empty homes than there are homeless people. There would be enough food for everyone to eat if not for all the waste. Medicine has advanced by leaps and bounds, yet it is made arbitrarily difficult to access solely to make a profit. The Pigmasks claimed their system would bring prosperity and happiness to you all, but it is nothing but naked exploitation, just as all capitalism before it. They claim that they support meritocracy while people like me would reward those who refuse to work, when in reality the opposite is true. Do those with thousands of times more wealth than the average person truly work thousands of times harder? I think not. And if their profits did not come from the value of their labor being that many times higher, then where did they come from? The answer is quite simple: from the labor of others. All labor produces value, whether in creating goods or performing services, but the capitalists need not pay their workers the full value of the labor they performed. In fact, they must not if they are to make any profit at all, or else they would be giving back to the workers an amount of money equivalent to that of the products they made. To put it simply, the bourgeoisie become wealthy through theft."

"Huh...you might be right, Nana, I think he is onto something. What's 'buo-zhwa-zee' mean, though?"

"It means rich people, sort of, but not just people who have a lot of money, it's the ones who own all the factories and shops and other property."

"Angie's mom owns a shop, does she count?" Fuel said holding his chin in thought. "At least she did before we moved to the city..."

"I think that's a grey area, they call that the petite bourgeoisie, since she's got people working for her, but she still has to work too. Her only employees were you and Angie working part time, though, and she's a nice person, that's why she wasn't making a lot of money and her business went under. Just like with Thomas's bazaar."

"How do you know all this, anyhow?" Claus said.

"Oh, just something I heard listening to people talking on the beach. It was from some guy who really didn't like his job. But let's shut up and listen."

"Private property is not merely ownership of material possessions, it is power over people as mediated through those possessions. Poverty, similarly, is a relationship of powerlessness and subordination to other people. To your landlord. To your boss. To the owners of the stores and companies that sell the groceries you need to survive. To your health insurance company. All of them hold your life in their hands, and are free to charge you as much as they like to squeeze as much profit as they can out of you, even if it costs you your life. Why is it that they have the power to do this? Why is it that you have no power but to sell your own labor and hope it is worth enough to survive? I'd like you all to consider these questions."

Unlike the other Pigmasks, the Commander was never paid a cent. It didn't matter that all his material needs were provided for, he'd never been more powerless. Why was it that things worked this way..? They hadn't been like this in Tazmily until the Pigmasks showed up. But what about New Pork City?

"I know things didn't work like this here until the Pigmasks changed everything, but why did they go along with doing things the way Porky wanted in the first place? Didn't they know it was better for him than them? I know he could brainwash people, but they weren't all like that...and what about the old world all our parents came from? If Porky was just copying how things worked there, why'd those people start doing things like this?" Nana said while in the background Leder went on with his speech.

"I don't know...most of 'em had to know it was only good for the rich people, right? And there's a lot more of everyone else." Lucas said.

"Knowing doesn't mean they could do anything about it. Trust me, you'll know once you work a shitty job." Kumatora said. "Wait, you already did, I forgot the factory for a second."

"I couldn't do anything about it back then, but that's only 'cuz I was on my own. I guess it ain't easy getting everyone to work together to change it..." Lucas said.

"Wait, what do you mean you worked in a factory?" Claus said, his face pale with shock.

"It was the Clayman Factory, but it was only for one shift, I had to make enough money to get to Club Titiboo to go find Kumatora and Duster..."

"I heard bad things about that place when I was the Commander...one shift is bad enough, it's not safe working there." Claus said. Not that the Empire Porky Building was safe, even for adults.

"Well, I made it, okay? It wasn't that bad, and Leder's gonna start talking again..."

Why did Lucas have to keep dismissing everything bad to spare his feelings? Would the walking on eggshells never end?

"Personally, I believe this much power should not be concentrated in the hands of a few to use and abuse against the rest of us, and that we should abolish this system of private property to create an equitable, democratic society where we can collectively decide how to manage our resources. Of course, Pigmask propaganda confuses private property with personal property, to create the illusion that abolishing it would mean the government owning everything, including people's individual possessions, but in reality, private property is already unavailable to nine-tenths of the population. The few possess private property precisely because the many do not, and their control over the means of production gives them vast power over the many to hold their lives in their hands by owning all the resources they need to survive. In other words, when they condemn the idea of abolishing private property, what they condemn is the attempt to take that oppressive power away from them. Indeed, that is the idea. Pigmask propaganda says those like myself only want power, but if all we want is power, then why do we side with the powerless?"

Going by the crowd's reaction that was a pretty good line.

The talking went on for a while after this, but these parts were what stuck with him the most. Villagers and ex-Pigmasks and other people from New Pork City talked about how exactly they might build a better society now that they'd overthrown Porky and his few loyalists. It seemed Leder's job might change from bell ringer to mayor or something like that soon given how many people were likely to vote for him.

But later, there was something for mostly just the villagers to talk about amongst themselves. Should they go back to Tazmily or keep living here? Claus wanted to go back, but there were some arguments against. Some said life might be easier here, but to him it just sounded like the greed of those lured in by all those advertisements. Then they said who knows how much damage the village might have suffered in the disasters? Was there even anything left to return to? Then again, the city was hardly unscathed either.

In this gathering of all the villagers, a few people were curiously absent, like Isaac. Duster's absence was less surprising since he was still asleep.

"Wait a minute, if we're all here, then who's taking care of the sheep? We gotta get back right away!" Claus said.

"But how? All the railways and highways got fractured by the earthquake." Nichol said. He was always the nerdy type among the kids.

"How about boats?" Lighter said.

"No, no, you saw all those tidal waves out there last night, who knows if the weather will kick up again? It just isn't safe." Nan said. "Besides, we'd have to get over to the coast first, we're up on a mountain here."

"Is there anything left of that whole network of underground tunnels? I know there was one of 'em connected to the graveyard, but I don't know if it's collapsed or not." Nippolyte said.

"Even if there is, we shouldn't risk one of them caving in on us after how much the Dragon shook things up." Bronson said.

"If no one's got any better ideas, it shouldn't be impossible to hike our way back there. There's at least some Pigmask outposts for us to rest in on the way there." Jonel said.

"That's easy for you to say, not all of us are still young and fit. Does no one have any good ideas?" Mayor Pusher said. God, three years had only made him more annoying, not less...

"I do, we should use the Porkships!" Claus said raising a hand. "We should all be able to fit in one or two of them and they'll get us home pretty quickly."

"Who asked for a little kid's advice? We can't trust any of the Pigmasks to just turn over a new leaf after everything." He said with a sneer in such a tone he obviously included Claus among said former Pigmasks.

What could he say to that when he couldn't trust himself either? Claus awkwardly lowered his shaky hand-

"If you admit he's still a kid then leave him alone!" Lucas said standing in front of him protectively. He was supposed to be the one who protected Lucas when he got picked on...those tables kept turning along with his gut. "You know he didn't have a choice, didn't you listen to the TV? You've been real good at doin' that the last few years, you bought into all their lies so you could get rich, and now you're the one judging people?!"

"I was tricked!" Pusher said. "I never knew the Pigmasks were committing such atrocities, I thought they were just giving me the respect I deserved as a mayor! If I did, I would've said something sooner!"

"Would you really now? Seems to me like you just changed your mind since everyone else did." Dad said. Just like he'd predicted. "If you were really sorry, you wouldn't be the first one throwing stones so someone else can take the blame."

"That's not what I'm-!"

"Alright, break it up!" A familiar voice said.

"Colonel Green?" Claus said. He wasn't used to seeing his face without his helmet, apparently it was some brown-haired guy with a mullet who looked around 30, and he notably had a prosthetic left leg.

"Comman-I mean, er, Claus! You can just call me Clive now." He said awkwardly, almost doing the salute but then putting his arm back around halfway. "The rest of you can stop all the commotion, you've all got plenty of options for heading back home. If you're willing to wait, we're working on fixing the roads, railways, and tunnels, and if not, you don't have to take the Porkships to go by air. There's always the flying limos or the Pork Pods. You can go with whatever vehicle and people you can tolerate, or just stay here. Just don't try heading back there on foot, there's still too many dangerous Chimeras out on the loose, and they might be riled up by all these natural disasters."

"Damn it, I should've thought of that..." Jonel said.

"Hey, I can always kick their asses if they cause us any trouble." Kumatora said.

"Yeah, but it's probably better if we go there the safe way, then make sure there ain't any Chimeras near the village, at least no dangerous ones." Lucas said.

Claus was a dangerous Chimera, wasn't he?

"M'sorry, I didn't mean you, I just meant the ones that are still feral..."

"Thanks, Luke..."

The metaphorical table might as well be a spinning top at this point.

They ended up taking one of those flying limos, which by some ironic twist of fate was the exact same one Lucas's team took to get here. This absurdly long limousine had a grand total of 36 seats, including the pink couch which could fit about three, and not counting the four stools at the blackjack table.

"This thing could damn near fit the whole village, huh?" Bronson said. Their group took up over half the seats. There was him, Lucas, Kumatora, Boney, Dad, Grandpa, Wess, Colonel Green, the chauffeur driving the limo, Fuel, Nana, Lighter, Nan, Alle, Bronson, Tessie, Nippolyte, Mike, Thomas, Lisa, Richie, Nichol, and a few more ex-Pigmasks who came aboard along with the colonel.

There were other odd things about it besides its size, though. There was a billiards table, a blackjack table, and some kind of board game, but none of them were playable. There were cabinets with what looked like wine, but the chaffeur said it was actually poison, and Lucas said there had once been a champagne tower of the same liquid on the leftmost table, but the chaffeur said it fell over last night in the earthquake and a janitor had to clean up all the broken glass. The hot tub was usable, but obviously no one was going to go in there fully clothed, and what was a hot tub doing in a vehicle? There was a small stage with some speakers as if for singing from, but the speakers didn't work. Porky had an odd sense of humor.

Claus ended up sitting in one of the seats near the front of the limo with Lucas to his left and Boney nuzzled up against his legs. Kumatora, Grandpa, Dad, and Lighter sat in the group of four seats to their left, and no one took the pink couch opposite them and to their right since it had no seatbelts, so the only people to Claus's right were the driver and Colonel Green in the passenger's seat next to the driver. This wasn't by coincidence: he didn't want to talk to all these people the whole ride home, it was awkward enough having so many eyes and ears on him. What if people judged him for being the commander? What if he didn't act enough like the Claus they remembered? What if they just asked him too many questions about his life while he was gone? Funny, he used to be the one to embrace the attention.

"Say, Com-I mean, Claus. You, uh...sound different."

"And?"

"Not trying to bother you, I'm just wondering. You don't have to say anything."

Claus sighed. He wanted to take that offer, but if he acted as shy as Lucas or more, it'd make him look less like 'himself' in front of the villagers. Besides, he wasn't a coward. Right?

"I guess you didn't hear from the scientists. This is how I normally sound, actually, they trained me to talk all monotone like that and without my accent. They tried to get me to talk a little deeper, too, so I'd sound less like a kid, but that didn't really work." Well, other than the natural effects of puberty, but he still sounded thirteen with all the voice cracks involved.

"That explains a lot...god, I wish I'd rebelled against Porky sooner."

"I dunno, it might not have worked if people didn't know the truth yet. I'm just glad he's gone. Well. Stuck." He lied. Half of him wished Porky was dead and the other half was horrified at the nature of his imprisonment.

"I think just about everyone is..."

It was weird talking to an adult like this, but probably weirder still that he ended up his commanding officer in the first place.

After that awkward conversation, Claus spent a while petting Boney until eventually listening to all the chatter in the rest of the limo and his own thoughts got boring.

"Do ya think things in the city will be alright? People keep telling me it'll be okay, but I wanna hear from you since Dr. Andonuts said you helped lead this whole revolution, so you have to know how it's going. You don't have to sugarcoat it, I know it has to be pretty bad with how the Dragon tore up so much stuff." Claus said.

"Well, that's true, but I think we'll get by despite all the damage. Sure, a lot of buildings got destroyed, but we can make up for it if we don't waste as much. We could use all those empty apartments that got bought up by the rental companies who jacked the prices up too high for anyone to afford, or all that food that gets thrown out since no one can buy it. You get the idea, right?"

"Yeah, I think so...it'll help if we don't have to waste time on building weird stuff for Porky anymore, like the Chimeras..." Like him. "But what about the ones that already got made?"

"That's a good question, everyone's arguing about what to do with them...some of them are docile, sure, but some are dangerous and hard to control, and they don't exactly mix well with normal animals in the wild. We've done too much damage already letting them loose as much as we have, so we're gonna have to contain 'em somehow."

"Contain them? What if some people wanna just...get rid of them?" He said in a quiet, more monotone voice.

"Oh...oh...don't worry, this isn't about you, you're still a human being."

"..." To think he would've welcomed it not long ago. Part of him still did, almost. But ending his own life was different than being hunted down for what he was, and all those poor animals never asked to be reconstructed like they were. Well. More of the newer types had been made in the lab from the start, but those ones hadn't asked to be freaks of nature either.

"Anyway, it won't come to that for the others either. Maybe some individual Chimeras might have to be put down if there's no other way, but I don't want to make any more species extinct."

"What about everyone else, though?" Lucas said. Lucas held his hand again and gave it a reassuring squeeze, and Boney nuzzled up against him..."They better not try to hurt Claus or all those animals."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, but I'll do whatever I can to make sure nothing like that happens. The doc's said it might be easier to tame them and help them fit in ecosystems than we think, and if we can't do that, we can at least keep them alive in captivity. We didn't spend as much time researching any of that before with Porky in charge, but now that we can, things should be better."

"Thanks..." Lucas said.

Another awkward silence.

"So, uh...where are you from? I mean, when are you from?" Claus said.

"The 70s. No, not that 70s, the 1970s. I'm from Eagleland like Porky, he brought a lot of people from there. I'm from Fourside, specifically."

"Oh, that makes sense. He must've been really attached to the place since he had all those keepsakes and made that movie about his life." Claus said. "I think it was biased, though, he tried to make himself look like the good guy, when really it was obviously Ness since he saved the world from Giygas."

"He even left Ness's bat in the caves for me to pick up...it's creepy, it's like he was trying to get me to play out Ness's role so he could relive the old days..." Lucas said.

"Yeah, I know...and he called me his 'double', so it's like he was making me a younger him to go up against 'Ness' and win this time, or something stupid like that...ugh..." Claus shuddered with disgust. Had he just been molded into some action figure for Porky to play out his childhood games and fill in his loneliness at missing people Claus hardly knew a thing about? He remembered those bots in the restaurant in the city that looked like Porky's mom, too.

He'd probably never stop missing Mom, either, but the thought of making something or someone else have to take her place made him feel sick...

"So how'd you get recruited to the army in the first place? Or, uh, kidnapped. It's okay if you don't wanna answer..." Claus said.

"Nah, it's fine, telling the truth is the least I can do to make up for everything. I didn't get abducted like some people. They never put me in that green goo to mess with my head either. The short version is, I was in a bad situation, and Porky offered me a way out if I joined, that's how I got this leg." He said pointing at his prosthetic left leg.

"So you lost your leg, and he made a deal where you'd get it back if you joined?"

"That, and he'd get me out of all the debt I was in because of the medical bills and how hard it was to get a job when I couldn't walk."

"Okay...so how'd you lose your real leg in the first place? Wait, you don't have to answer that either." Claus said.

"Again, don't worry about it. I lost it since unlike a lot of other guys in the army, I was a soldier before I got recruited, too, that's why I got promoted so quickly. A lot of the other men didn't really know what they were doing. I didn't choose to join the army the first time, though, I got drafted in the Vietnam war..."

"What's Vietnam..?" Claus said. He couldn't quite grasp what a war really was either. He'd been in fights, sure, and been sent to deal with the 'terrorist' Lucas and his team, but the scale of violence of a real war was hard to imagine.

"I should've guessed you wouldn't know. Can you believe there used to be almost two hundred countries on Earth? It's true, but even back then, most Eaglelanders couldn't name half of 'em off the top of their head or point to em on a map. Vietnam's this small country down in southeast Asia, and it was real humid and sweaty down there with all those jungles and rainforests."

"So it's like Tanetane Island..." Hopefully it didn't have hallucinogenic mushrooms too.

"Why was Eagleland fighting Vietnam?" Lucas said.

"A whole lot of people were asking the same question back then, there were a bunch of protests about it. Now, to be clear, we weren't at war with all of Vietnam, exactly: they were having a civil war, and we were siding with the south Vietnamese since the north was run by communists. That's the excuse the government had for invading them, they said we had to stop communism from spreading further."

"Would that really be so bad if it did?"

"Well, we sure thought so. If it was like what we're doing now and trying to make things better for everyone, then maybe not, but we didn't know that. All they told us was the worst of the things they'd done, and how the commies were against freedom and the Eagleland way...hah, funny how that works. We're defending freedom, but if they choose communism then we have to protect them from it."

"So that's where Porky got the double standards from, huh..." Claus said.

"Haha, maybe. All this was in the Cold War too, so that's why everyone was scared enough for it to work."

"What was so cold about it?" Claus said.

"If I try explaining all the details, I'll be talking all day. I guess I should say something, though, since this led to how the world ended way later on. The Cold War was between Eagleland and the Soviet Union, and we called it a 'cold' war since it wasn't a real war. We were fighting each other with proxies, since if we fought head on, we'd all nuke each other to death."

"But it happened anyways..." Lucas said grimly.

"Not quite. The Soviet Union fell in the 90s, so it wasn't the Cold War that caused all that, but even though they weren't socialists after that, they still had all those nukes like us. Leder said it was another war between them and Eagleland way later on that ended the world...and I think China was involved too. No one really knows who fired the first shot since it all ended so quickly. But enough about that, the point is, the government sent us all off to go fight the communists and most people didn't like it. That's why there were all those protests back home, and over in Vietnam, some guys even fragged their officers. Uh, before you ask, that means killing them with frag grenades. That's treason, obviously, but they'd try to get away with it by doing it in the chaos of battle so they thought it was the enemy. Maybe I should've tried that too, or dodging the draft instead of waiting until now to become a rebel, but I was too stupid back then..."

"Well...you didn't know back then that you were working for bad guys." Lucas said.

"Eh, there were plenty of signs. You know what I said about those protests? In one of them at Kent State University, the mayor called in the National Guard, and they shot some students just for protesting!"

"Seriously?!" Claus said.

"Seriously. And they got away with it, too, no one got convicted or even charged for shooting those kids."

"If those pigs shooting kids wasn't enough to change your mind, then what was?" Lucas said with a glare.

"Well, I'd already lost my leg before the Kent State shooting happened, so I wasn't in the army anymore. The war went on for over a decade."

"Oh...sorry..."

"Nah, I don't need any sympathy. If I wanted to give you a sob story, I'd tell you how I needed the money to pay the rent for me and my sick sister, but I doubt I'd feel bad for the Vietnamese if it was the other way around, and one of them said he was only invading our land to pay his family's bills. I can tell you what changed my mind, though. I still had doubts about everything when Porky recruited me, but then once I got to New Pork, I met more people in the army who knew stuff about the past that I didn't."

"Like what?"

"Did you know Eagleland dropped more bombs on Laos than it dropped in all of World War 2? All that while claiming to be the land of the free and home of the brave!"

"Uhhh...what?" Claus said.

"Right, you wouldn't know...Laos is this place near Vietnam, and they bombed it just because the North Vietnamese were using it for supplies, and the government didn't even tell the public about it. I don't want to get into World War 2, but the point is, they dropped so many bombs it killed a lot of people. There were a lot of them that didn't blow up, but they were still dangerous, since civilians could step on them and set em off without knowing it. Just one wrong step in a field off the beaten path where there's something buried just under the dirt and...well, it wouldn't be pretty. Can you imagine if they did that to Fourside? Even terrorists blowing up just a couple buildings there was enough to get everyone foaming at the mouth for blood, if the guys from the 2000s remember things right. Hah, I guess living in the world's most powerful country made us all thin-skinned."

"That's kinda like how the Pigmasks set Chimeras loose in the wild, it made it dangerous for us to go too far from town too..." Lucas said.

"Yeah...point is, it was nasty, and that's not the only bad thing I heard Eagleland did from people from the future. I mean, the future compared to me. Turns out the feds lied about the incident they used as an excuse to start the war, and they did that kind of thing all the time. They lied about Korea, about Vietnam, about Cuba, Iraq, Afghanistan, and a whole lot more, and then there's all the coups they staged."

"What's a coup?"

"Oh...it's when you overthrow a government, kind of like how we made ourselves in charge of Tazmily. Sorry about that."

"Oh..."

"You know what else drives me nuts about all this? By the 2000s, most people in Eagleland knew the Vietnam war was a bad idea, but they still believed all the bullshit about Iraq. They'd say all the past protests were right, but this time it was different! Every. Single. Time. Well, at least until the government went full fascist later in the 21st century..."

"Is that how the world ended?" Lucas said.

"I don't know all the details, I wasn't there."

"I don't really get it, but all that sounds so fucked up..." Claus said. "Wait, does that mean Mom and Dad and all the villagers knew about all this since they were there when the world ended?"

"Yeah, probably."

"I could ask Leder, but he seems really busy, so probably not right now...is that why you rebelled against Porky, since you found out the place he was copying was so messed up?"

"Not just that, obviously, it's because I found out what we were doing wrong in the Pigmask Army. Just wish I'd figured it all out and done something sooner. Porky said you were all just a bunch of stupid hippies, and back home the media told us the commies only wanted power, but it's just like Leder said, why would they fight for the powerless? Those guys were outnumbered and outgunned, but they still beat us, and I don't think it was just 'cause of the guerilla warfare. They had the people on their side, that's why they could blend in with the locals, 'cause they were helping them and we were just outsiders bombing them..."

"What's gorilla warfare?" Lucas said. "Like the gorilla Chimera you guys sent at us at Snowcap? Did they really have Chimeras that long ago?"

"No, not the animal, it's 'guerilla', with a u and an e instead of an o. It's more like sneaking around and doing hit and run attacks, then retreating and hiding instead of fighting out in the field. It's something you do if you're outmatched and you'd lose if you fought head on. Almost like how you and your team went around the islands beating the army one squad at a time, then getting out before more of us showed up as reinforcements. You know, I'm actually glad you don't understand all these things about wars, it means your parents made a village a lot better than what they came from."

"But it's because we didn't remember that the Pigmasks tricked us..." Lucas said with a frown.

"That should be on us instead of you. Just relax, dude, don't blame yourself." 'Dude'? With that and that mullet, he seemed almost like one of those 'hippies' from the 70s Porky complained about. He must've suppressed those tendencies a lot before now to make it so far up the ranks. "Sir-I mean, Claus-I'm not telling you all this to make you worry about stuff that happened way before you were born, it's all said and done anyways. I'm not trying to make you feel bad for me either. Nah. What I'm hoping for is that hearing all this will remind you that you had an excuse, you're just a kid and you weren't yourself...but there's people like me with real blood on their hands." He said that last bit suddenly deviating from his usual jovial tone. "So if even I can get a second chance, then you're just being silly beating yourself up like this, little dude!" And now it was back. Funny, he would never dare call the commander 'little dude' before. Ten year old Claus would've hated being looked down on like that by grown-ups, the Commander would've felt nothing but corrected the violation of protocol, but now it was actually kind of funny.

"I guess you're right..." Claus said.

He tried to take that advice, but he still couldn't help thinking about how even if he had less of a choice, the potential damage he could've caused was far higher. Then there were the thoughts of what kind of horrors Mom and Dad could have possibly lived through...

He had too much to think about on the way back.

Chapter Text

Finally, they were home. They poured out of the oversized limo in their cramped conga line into the village square. Or more accurately, what was left of it.

The river that came down from Mt. Oriander no longer ended at Osohe Castle's lake-moat. Instead, a jagged fissure went all the way down from there to the leftmost part of the town square where Abbey and Abbot's house, Caroline's bakery, and Bronson's house were supposed to be, then all the way to the edge of the island cutting right through what used to be the sheep shed, which split off their whole farm into its own tiny island.

"Oh crap, are the sheep okay?!"

"Calm down, Claus, they're fine! The Dragon made sure no one got hurt...I wish she could've saved those houses too, though. M'sorry, Bronson, I should've found some way to keep them from getting destroyed..." Lucas said.

"No, you've done enough already..." Bronson sighed. "I don't like losing my house either, but we can always rebuild. Maybe this is karma for abandoning the village in the first place. Lucky thing we did, though, so no one was here when it happened."

"Won't just be houses we have to rebuild this time, we'll need bridges too to get to Flint's house and anything west of the town square." Lighter said.

"We're already rebuilding our house, so we should be able to do this, right? Plus, now we can get the Pigmasks to help us too, so that'll make it go a lot faster!" Fuel said.

"Sure, but it's still gonna take a long time, and I wanna go check on the sheep now! I'll just use my jetpack and fly over there." Claus reached for his jetpack and felt nothing. "Oh...stupid muscle memory..."

As much as he'd abandoned the jetpack, sword, and cannon for a reason, it still felt embarrassing to have to get back in the limo just so it could carry a few of them over to the sheep pasture and their house.

It was only him, Lucas, Dad, Boney, and Grandpa that went there, Kumatora stayed behind with everyone else in case any Chimeras had wandered into the abandoned village before they arrived. They hadn't, but they didn't know that yet.

Their small flock of sheep bleated happily at the sight of them. All the familiar faces were there except two, Fluffy and Curly, and there were two new ones, two adorable little lambs. Well, one wasn't so little and was mostly grown, probably close to a year old, while the other was so small it couldn't be older than a few months.

"Where's Curly?"

"He passed away last year since he got old and sick..." Lucas said with a frown. "And Fluffy-"

"You don't have to say it, I already know. I accidentally read the thoughts of the guy you ran into in Thunder Tower."

"Oh..."

"Don't feel bad, I knew Curly was getting old anyways..." Claus said trying to act like it didn't bother him. "What about the cute little lambs, what'd you call 'em?" Claus said.

"His name's Eepy since he sleeps in so much." Lucas said pointing at the bigger one.

"Hah, so he's like you!"

"Haha, maybe..." Lucas smiled then pointed at the small one. "I haven't thought of a name for her yet. How 'bout you name her?"

"...Really? Is that okay?"

"Yeah, I think she likes ya."

Claus took a few slow, cautious steps closer to the lamb, trying not to scare her. She took a few steps closer, too, nudged forward gently by the ewe that must have been her mother. Aww. He crouched down trying to look as unassuming as possible. "Heyyy...I'm Claus, nice to meetcha. It's okay, I'm not trying to scare ya or nothin'..." She didn't look scared of him being a Chimera like he expected, exactly, just surprised seeing his lack of a second arm and how his left eye was red. "Hmm...how about Lacey?"

"What makes you pick that?"

"I dunno, she just seems like a Lacey. I'm not sure yet. Whaddya think, Lacey?"

"Baaa!" The little ewe bleated happily.

"That sounds like a maybe. Nice. Alright, I'm gonna back up real easy now..." Claus stood back up and backed away. While sheep liked being pet, they had to warm up to you first before they could trust you, and he didn't want to spook her by trying it too early.

Instead, he walked over to one of the older ewes, Ruffly, and scratched her back instead. Sheep couldn't scratch their own backs so they loved it when someone reached through their wool and got just the right itchy spot. There was only around half the normal amount of wool since they were a few months past shearing season in April.

"Baaa..." ("Ooh, that's the spot...it's so good to have you back.")

Claus smiled, it was good to be back. If even the animals didn't think he was some creepy cyborg imposter, maybe it was time to believe them.

"Looks like all the sheep are okay." Dad said.

"We'll still have to rebuild the shed, though, we don't want the lambs to get rained on." Grandpa said.

"Now what?" Claus said.

"Let's go inside and eat lunch while we're here, I think we can take a moment to slow down now that everything's settled down..." Lucas said.

So they did. It was so good to be home.

But the place was a mess. The sheets of Mom and Dad's bed were in disarray with one of them halfway on the floor along with the extra blue pillow. His and Lucas's bed was covered in dog fur, and more stray hairs of dog fur were scattered across the floor on the way there. No one had bothered to clean it up, even though Dad always used to do more of the cleaning than Mom.

And there was an empty bottle of beer on Dad's nightstand.

"I'm sorry, Claus, you shouldn't have to see that!" Dad said in an oddly panicked tone. "Let me put that away..." He picked it up and opened one of the drawers of the nightstand.

"What do you mean, what's the big deal? You only drink every once in a while, it's not like you're an-"

The bottle slipped out of Dad's shaky hand and would have shattered into glass if not for Lucas's telekinesis and reflexes catching it at the last second, then putting it in the drawer like Dad had been trying to.

"-alcoholic." Oh.

"Thank you, Lucas..." Dad said, then closed the drawer with his still shaky hands.

"What happened to you, Dad?" Claus said.

"Hinawa passed away and you went missing, that's what happened. Life has been so hard without you the last three years...but that's no excuse, I'm going to quit for good now and stop letting this place turn into a mess. God, I'm making such an embarrassment of myself..."

"It's okay, Flint, don't be so hard on y-" Grandpa said.

"This isn't okay! The way I've treated Lucas is not okay!"

"I know, but you're going through serious withdrawals right now, stressing yourself out will only make it worse." Grandpa said.

"Just sit down and let me make lunch for us, Dad." Lucas said.

"No, that ain't right, that should be my job. Well, it used to be Hinawa's job, but now it should be mine."

"Then why'd you make me learn how to do it?" There was this bitterness in Lucas's voice and a thick tension in the air Claus couldn't hope to cut any more than he could the Drago back then.

"I...well..."

Dad sat down on his bed with a defeated guilty look. Even now, both beds had two pillows side by side...

When did Lucas become such a bitter person? When Dad wasn't there...no, not just Dad, but Mom, and him, too...no one had been there to protect his kindness. It must have hurt so much for him to have to harden himself to survive a world so cruel to him. Lucas wouldn't like being mean to anyone like this.

Claus wasn't sure if it was Lucas reading his thoughts or just seeing the disturbed look in his eyes since Lucas looked at him, then back at Dad guiltily.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be so cold, I just...it's not as bad as it sounds, Claus, I was just upset and wasn't thinking and-!"

"It's okay, Luke...it's okay to be angry. I think you got every right to be. At Dad, at the Pigmasks, even at me if you want..."

"But I don't wanna be! I don't like feeling like this, I don't like being so mean!" Lucas sniffled. "I'm sorry I'm not the nice Lucas you remember anymore..." So it wasn't just him? He thought he wasn't the Claus Lucas remembered..."I tried to be, but I didn't wanna be a crybaby anymore, but I went too far, I had to hurt so many people and animals...w-what would Mom think?"

"You are still the Lucas I remember, it's okay..." Claus gave him another awkward one-armed hug, and Lucas cried into his shoulder. "You're just braver, that's all. I think Mom would be proud of you, it's not wrong to fight for what's right, I know you didn't hurt anyone 'cause you wanted to."

"But I did! I hated Porky so much, I wanted to kill him, I still do!" Little bits of memory came across their telepathic link, the sheer rage Lucas had felt in that battle with Porky Claus had never seen, that he still felt.

"But who can blame you? I hate him too and you're not judging me..."

"I know, but it's not just him! I'm still so mad at the Pigmasks, everyone in the village who did what they wanted, everyone who called me a crybaby, and even Dad, even though he's sorry and he's trying to be better..."

"That doesn't mean you can't be upset."

"Y-yeah, but...if Mom was still here, she wouldn't be so bitter like me..." Lucas trailed off into more sniffles.

"No, I'm sure if she were here, she'd be angry at how you've been treated too, 'specially if she was the one who lost Flint." Grandpa said.

"Hinawa wouldn't have lost her way like I did if it was the other way around." Dad said.

"...Maybe so, but it still would've been awful hard on her. She'd still miss you something awful, and if she did do a better job lookin' out for Lucas, then she damn well wouldn't be happy with how some folks in town have been treatin' him and lettin' him down. If she would've been any better at not being bitter than you, Lucas, then that's only 'cause she's a grown woman and you're still just a boy. But I remember how she used to be a little girl, and if she was in your shoes back then, then...wait...maybe she was, and I just don't remember it yet..." Grandpa looked awfully confused. "Well, I'm sure it would've been hard for her, too, going through so much so young. It's not like she was always the way you remember her, she had to learn all that as she grew up...you've got plenty of time to learn, too, so don't be so hard on yourself."

"I just wish she was still here...then she could tell me what to do..." Lucas said.

"I know, Luke, I know..." Claus said. Once, he'd been the rebellious child who got scolded the most for not listening to Mom and Dad. Now more than ever, he wished he could have her gentle guidance again.

Eventually, Lucas let go and wiped his eyes.

"Thanks, Claus...I really needed that. I'll be okay now, just let me make the omelets."

"Okay..." Claus said. He was never much good at helping in the kitchen anyways, his inattentiveness got his food burnt far too often.

In the meantime while Lucas was cooking, Claus took more of a look around the room. Other than it being messy, there were a few other differences from what he remembered. There were some new books in the bookshelf, a few of the floorboards creaked a little more than he remembered, and then there was the cabinet next to the mirror...

Inside the cabinet, his blue shoes from when he was ten and the red scrap of cloth from Mom's dress were preserved with care. Even after all this time. Like they'd never stopped waiting for him to come back and step in them again, even though they were far too small. As if his own ghost had haunted this house even though he was still alive. Mom wasn't, but she would never want to haunt them or see them to cling to this painful reminder of her death like this...

Claus felt sick.

"Dad, what the fuck is this? Why didn't you throw this stuff out?"

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't bring myself to get rid of them, I didn't want to remind you of anything...I suppose those shoes don't fit you anymore, either, do they?"

"No, they don't." Claus closed the drawer with a shudder. "You shoulda gotten rid of them, Mom wouldn't want us to feel so bad about her. I know she doesn't like wasting things, but you could've given someone else my shoes and reused the cloth for somethin' else...we could still do that." Anything to make them stop haunting him. Well, Dad wasn't much good at sewing, but there were others in the village who could besides Mom.

"Hmm...okay, fine, I'll think about it." Dad said. He looked so reluctant to part with them.

He looked through the wardrobe next. It had almost all the clothes he remembered and then some. There were new things like a DCMC shirt and boxers, a new warm sweater, something labeled an Aloha Coat, an odd cape made entirely of rubber just like the ones he'd seen Pigmasks in Thunder Tower use sometimes to safeguard themselves from the atrocious lack of safety regulations, and a black shirt with a skull on it labeled 'Good Kid's Shirt', not the kind of thing he thought he'd see Lucas wearing. There were some bracelets and other accessories and some collars for Boney too. It looked like Dad still wore mostly the same few cowboy outfits as ever, with some of them being more tattered than he remembered, probably from all the looking for him...

Most of their old clothes were there, too, even the ones Mom had thoughtfully made in advance for when they outgrew the ones they wore when they were ten. One of those cyan and yellow shirts, the one that was around his current size, looked like it had seen little or no use. Lucas left it unused just for him..? Even though they'd never minded sharing clothes in the past?

Something smelled good. Lucas was cooking the omelets while he was busy.

Now he could change clothes while Lucas was looking away. Claus told Dad and Grandpa not to look, either, even though he'd never been the shy one. But it was different now looking at his unfamiliar reflection. Without the dye, his hair was blond like Lucas's, but messy, and there was a scar around his red left eye from when it had been blinded by the sharp rock he fell on fighting the Drago. A thin, surgical vertical line went down his chest over where his heart should've been, its stitches long gone by now. A jagged electrical burn scar split and forked along his torso from the lightning he'd killed himself with. Then there was that uncanny seam where flesh and metal met at his shoulder, and a few smaller cuts and scrapes along his left arm that weren't quite gone. There probably would have been a nasty bite scar on what was left of his right after the Drago bit it off at the elbow, if Porky hadn't had Dr. Andonuts take out the rest of the arm that would've had the scar and some of his shoulder just to have a fully metallic prosthetic.

Somehow, the striped t-shirt fit on just fine, gracefully covering up all the scars on his chest and his metallic right shoulder. The orange-ish shorts fit too. Putting them on was a difficult process with only one arm and the telekinesis he wasn't trained on using for such mundane tasks, but he refused to ask for any help. Then he tried to comb his hair...

"Lookin' handsome!" Mom said while gently combing his hair, and his seven year old reflection made a toothy grin missing one baby tooth.

He sure didn't feel handsome now with all these scars and teenage acne and the missing arm and eye and those unnatural parts that didn't belong.

But despite that, he still felt the warmth of sheep wool and all Mom's hard work weaving this for him years ago.

Then he smelled the omelets Lucas had made while he was busy.

Grandpa was reluctant to take Mom's long empty seat. It was eerie thinking how long his own chair had been left cold, too, and how much Lucas and Dad were used to his and Mom's absence, that a full table could surprise them like this.

Then he took a bite.

"Mmm, thish ish sho good!" Claus said. "How'd you make it like that, Mom?"

"Remember, don't talk with your mouth full~" She said in that teasing almost singsong voice. "I make yours with a little more salt and cook it longer, since you like it that way and Lucas likes sauteed mushrooms. The secret ingredient is love."

Lucas had never used to be that good at cooking, except in comparison to Claus, so when had he learned to cook just like Mom? He must have looked through her recipe book these last three years and perfected them through trial and error...

"What's the matter, Claus? Do you not like it?" Lucas said.

"No, it's perfect! You've gotten so good at cooking, it's just like if Mom made it..." As if she was still here. Maybe in some way, she was.

"I know, this is delicious..." Dad said.

"I may have taught her some of the recipes, but she perfected them, and now so have you." Grandpa said.

"Thanks, y'all..." Lucas said.

Lucas didn't mention how he saw him tearing up. Claus tried to blink them back to little effect.

And yet, somehow these tears didn't feel that sad.

They went over to the graveyard a little while after lunch.

The jagged path of the fissure that tore up the left half of town and extended the river just barely missed the graveyard veering to its left by some miracle, and the hill with Mom's grave east of the main graveyard was perfectly intact. Claus sighed with relief. It would've been too much to lose her grave too.

Dad brought fresh flowers to put on it, and those hadn't been there too long either. It must have been a daily routine or at least weekly.

"Hi, Mom..." Lucas said, then glanced awkwardly at Dad as if he wasn't used to visiting Mom's grave with him and it felt weird talking to himself like this when he wasn't alone. Was this the first time they'd all visited her grave together as a family? Dad hadn't been able to visit with him before he went missing since he was stuck in jail, so it had to be...

"You've been here a lot, haven't you?" Claus said.

"Yeah..."

"How do you handle it? I miss Mom...it was bad enough before, but visiting her like this...I don't get it, how'd you get used to just...going on without her?" Claus said.

"I don't know...but I'm not 'used to it', I'm just living with it 'cause I have to. It still hurts, just less than it used to..."

Boney whined sadly and nuzzled his head up to Lucas's legs.

"Do y'think it'll be that way for me too?" Claus said.

"Yeah...it'll get better, I promise." Lucas said.

"Wish I could say it's gotten better for me, but it hasn't felt like it..." Dad said with a sigh. "Must be my fault for never moving on."

Claus didn't want to agree with him, but he couldn't bring himself to say he was wrong, either. If Dad hadn't moved on, neither had he. Three years of not even remembering Mom's name hadn't done much to make the pain any less raw the moment it came flooding back. It was different now than when he'd first remembered, he could better process the two lives he'd lived and sort them out along with the passage of time, but his life as the commander hadn't taught him much about how to cope except to shove it all under the rug. So now that it was all swept away, he just had even more dirt to clean up.

"...Wait...shouldn't there be a grave here for me, too? I know I'm alive now, but you didn't know that before."

"That's my fault too, I told Nippolyte not to dig one as long as I was lookin' for you." Dad said.

"Well, you were right, I was still alive..."

"Maybe, but I was right for the wrong reasons: I didn't have any proof you were alive, just my gut and because I couldn't accept you being gone too. If I'd stopped looking and let you have a funeral, at least Lucas could've had some closure..."

If he had died for real that day and Fassad hadn't taken his body away, then maybe it wouldn't have been as hard on Lucas and Dad missing him...

"You're alive now, that's all that matters. You have no idea how happy I am to have you back." Lucas gave him another hug.

"I'm glad you're happy, but it does matter. You shouldn't have had to spend all that time wondering if I was coming back...or if you did think I was gone, but Dad didn't, then you'd be waiting for him...god, what were you supposed to do, tell him to stop?" He said after letting go.

"I did, a few times..." Lucas said. "Well, Lighter did, and I told him to listen to Lighter."

"And I wish I had."

"It just doesn't feel right, like you had to either help me or him..." Claus said.

"Lighter said I didn't have to give up on you being alive to see that spending all my time lookin' for you wasn't doing any good. Now we know the Pigmasks had you that whole time, so the real problem was them, not you getting lost...maybe if I'd spent more time around the village, I could've convinced more folks they were a problem, and we could've gotten you out of there sooner."

"Would that even work? Even if you'd found me, I wouldn't have gone with you willingly. I could've hurt you...I did hurt you..." Claus said with a frown. "And Lucas didn't have his powers back then..."

"Duster doesn't have any either, and he still helped Lucas out, and Boney's just a dog. No offense, boy."

"Woof!" ('I'm a very clever dog!')

"Yes, you are!" Lucas crouched down and pet him again with a smile.

"Yeah, well...you did help Lucas fight Porky in the end, and...me..." Claus said, but the more he thought about it, the more it bothered him. "Look, I don't wanna argue right now, not here..."

Dad just nodded in understanding. Not in front of Mom's grave.

In the lull in conversation Claus looked back at Osohe Castle's lake, which the castle had sunken into.

"If the castle's gone, where's Kumatora supposed to go now?"

"She used to live mostly at Ionia's house, not the castle, and sometimes she'd go to the houses of the other Magifolk, but they must all be awfully empty and lonely now..." Grandpa said.

Compared to her, he was lucky, wasn't he? They were both missing a mom, but she was missing her entire family too. Then again, she hadn't been turned into a brainwashed cyborg for three years, but...apples and oranges, right?

The construction work was well underway when they got back to what was left of the village. People were trying to make a temporary bridge with ropes and wooden planks to the island the house and farm were now on, then the plan was to build a permanent one of better materials later right next to it before tearing the original down. Kumatora had even made a little bridge of her own by freezing some of the water into ice.

"So, uh...how are you holding up?" Claus said.

"Who, me? I'm doing fine, kiddo." She lied while floating over a plank to the other side of the river with telekinesis. "We're gonna have this done in no time at this rate." For once, people in the village were all cooperating again and working as a community.

"But where are you gonna stay now that the castle's gone?"

"You could say the same thing to Bronson, y'know. The Yado Inn's gonna have people packed in like sardines for a while, so what's one more? Besides, we camped out in the wild when we were traveling, so this is nothing. At least with camping it wasn't so crowded..."

"That wasn't what I meant...I know you can take care of yourself, but what about your family?"

"What about 'em?"

"Uh...well..." What was he supposed to say? Imply she couldn't cope with the loss? Way to project. "Sorry...I dunno what to say, but if there's anything we can do for ya..."

"You don't have to do crap except stay alive. Just having you back is making Lucas happy, so that's all I need." How had Lucas become so important to her?

"Yeah, but I can't just sit around doing nothing..." Couldn't she understand? Didn't she throw herself into work and distractions in the same way? Or was that just him projecting again?

"It's okay, Claus, Kuma isn't all alone." Lucas said saving him from his fumbling. "She's got me, and Boney, and Duster, and the DCMC...and now you, too. She kept telling me she wished she could've gotten to know ya once I told her about you, and now she can."

But he killed half her family, brainwashed or not. Then again, Lucas had pulled the Needles too, but he didn't have a choice, either...

"Yeah, just like he said. Tell you what, if you really wanna do me a favor, come over here for a sec." He stepped closer and she used her all of one inch of height over him to reach down and ruffle his hair in the same older sibling way he once did for Lucas.

"Hahaha, c'mon, it's messy enough already!"

"Hehehehe."

He tried not to push her buttons anymore after that, because he didn't want to hear the same kind of well-meaning sympathetic questions either if they just prodded still raw scars.

Dad and Grandpa hadn't been with them while they were talking with Kumatora, they were over on the east side of the village, for which the bridge to reach it was miraculously still intact. That was where that old folks' home Lucas said Grandpa got put in was.

But the Pigmasks hadn't just built it anywhere...

"I want my house back, damn it!" Wess said while they unwittingly snooped on his argument with Grandpa and Mike in the so-called 'Old Man's Paradise'. It was a pitiful place with creaky floors with a few holes in them and the leaky ceiling too. Three grey doors in the main lobby led to similarly bland bedrooms, with the trio of old men talking in the middle one.

"Listen, what happened to your house was an injustice, just like mine was destroyed by lightning." Grandpa said. "But it ain't just us going through this kind of thing, other people lost their homes too. That's why I'm saying for now, Mike and I can go back to our families' homes, while you let Abbey and Abbot and Caroline and Angie stay in the other two rooms."

"Can't they just go to the Yado Inn like Bronson?"

"The inn's crowded enough already." Mike said. "This is only temporary, once there's more houses built they can clear out of there and leave it to you and Duster. Or maybe just you."

"Just me? He already spent three years fooling around with his band, that's long enough! If he really did forget everything all that time until now like Lucas said, then he oughta come back. If I have to give up my pride for the greater good letting other people stay here, then why the hell does he get to be so selfish abandoning his fami-"

"Selfish?!" Kumatora said stepping into the room. "You're the one who's selfish! The DCMC treated him better in three years than you did his whole life!"

"Princess Kumatora?!" Wess turned in shock. "No, that's not true, it wasn't like that...I know the training I put him through was tough, but it was for his own good, he never could've saved the world if I hadn't!"

"Was breaking his leg for his own good too?" Claus said.

"That was an accident!"

"No it wasn't! I saw his thoughts, it's 'cause you pushed him too far! Doesn't matter if you both didn't want it to happen, it's still your fault!" Claus said.

"Fine, maybe it was! But I already apologized for all that a long time ago, you can't keep beating a dead horse about it forever. I've still done him more good than bad, he wouldn't have survived fighting the Pigmasks without my training. And after everything I did for him, he just went and left me behind. Am I really supposed to believe he forgot everything, and that's why he didn't come home, but somehow he still remembered just enough about his mission to protect the Egg and bury it so no one could steal it? Then still put it somwhere bad enough that the Pigmasks nearly stole it a few years later? All when we should've been using it to get everyone's memories back sooner so we didn't fall for all that Pigmask nonsense? I think what really happened is that moron lied just so he could run away from from his family and his du-"

"SHUT UP!" Lucas said. "He's not lying, he's not a moron, and he's not living with you anymore! Period!"

Since when was Lucas the loud one...

"I just got Claus back...I'm not letting someone else go..."

Oh...

"Even if he was lying, he'd have every right to leave your sorry ass behind after how you raised him." Kumatora said.

Just like Lucas thought, Duster didn't go back to Wess's house when he finally woke up and brought the Egg of Light back to the village. They would've let him if that was what he really wanted, since unlike some people, they knew he was a grown man and could make his own decisions, even if they might be bad ones.

"I wanna thank y'all for calling out my old man earlier, it made it easier talking to him myself...sorry to put the burden on you like that." Duster said to him, Kumatora, and Lucas later.

"It's not like you made us say anything, we could've let him keep saying all that nasty stuff about you if we wanted." Claus said.

"But there's no way you would've."

"'Course not, what else are friends for?" Kumatora said.

He had to wonder if Duster's meek apologetic ways were nature or nurture. Claus knew a thing or two about being trained into quiet compliance...but then again, Lucas grew up shy even when he was raised in a house full of love so much better than Duster's, and even when everything around him conspired to crush his spirit, he kept going through everything and became so brave instead of giving in like the villagers had. But maybe that was because of how Mom had raised him too.

Either way, there had to be something worse about never having had a good family at all instead of having one and losing half of it. Or all of it like Kumatora.

It seemed like OJ, Magic, Baccio, and Shimmy had practically become Duster's new family with how they came to the village with him and had been his best friends over the three years where he lost his memory and played in their band as 'Lucky'. But friends and family were different, again like apples and oranges. No sense comparing them. Duster got to pick his friends, not his dad. Claus hadn't gotten to pick Mom and Dad, either, but he wouldn't pick any different if he could, he'd just gotten the lucky draw.

"Don't worry about any of the crap he said, I think you're doing both your jobs just fine, the band and guarding the Egg." Claus said.

"He had a point, though, I wish I could've helped everyone remember sooner..."

"It's not your fault you didn't remember that part. There's no point dwellin' on stuff you couldn't have changed..." Lucas said.

"I keep tellin' you the same thing." Duster said.

"Yeah, I know..." Lucas said.

"It does feel strange, though, now that we finally have the Egg back. Protecting it is the job I've been training for all my life, and now it's done. So now what?"

"Now you finally don't have to deal with Wess bugging you about it anymore, that's what." Kumatora said. "You can just have fun and keep being a rockstar."

"Hmm...I 'spose that don't sound too bad."

The villagers had differing opinions on whether to use the Egg of Light or not. Leder had said before that now that he was no longer ringing the bell as a psychic suggestion that kept their memories altered, they would gradually come back on their own soon enough, even if they didn't use the Egg of Light to get them back right away. They may not have remembered over the course of the past three years, even without Leder ringing the bell, but it was inevitable, especially now that he'd revealed all of this to them. Just as the bell once served as a suggestion keeping the false memories in place, knowing the truth would do the opposite. He left the choice up to each individual villager how quickly they wanted to jog their memory.

"What do you mean, I have to wait?" Dad said. "I've been running away from my problems long enough, I'm not going to do that with my past too. Not anymore."

"Flint, you have to understand, you're going through serious withdrawal symptoms." Tessie said. She was a doctor, after all, and probably had been before Tazmily, too, struggling to treat the symptoms of a sick world. "We don't know what kind of effects the Egg of Light has on the brain when it gives someone their memories back, so you'd best wait until you're sober. Just give it a few days, that's all."

"But I...oh, fine..." Dad grumbled.

Tessie even said Dad would need medical supervision for around 72 hours after whenever he last had a drink until the acute symptoms were gone, because sometimes they could be seriously dangerous. So she listed out all the symptoms they had to keep an eye out for, and which ones meant he'd need help right away. As if they needed more things to be anxious about. Better than blissful ignorance, though...

But there had been one time when it was good she kept them from seeing the ugly truth.

"Um, Tessie..? I...er...I wanna thank you for covering our eyes back when...you know...I'm sorry I was so ungrateful about it back then. It probably woulda felt a lot worse seeing those folks get hurt." She was the village midwife, too, the hands that brought him and Lucas and all the other kids into the world, so in some way she'd looked out for him long before covering his eyes that day.

"Aw, that's so kind of you, but it's nothing special, it's what anyone would've done."

"It wasn't, though." Ollie probably wouldn't have if she was the one getting hit by Dad instead of him: for all the courage he showed trying to calm Dad down, he was never much good with kids when he was barely an adult himself. It sure as hell wouldn't have been Isaac, with the way he just stood there slack-jawed, taking a few trembling steps back when Claus couldn't see. Duster hadn't been the brave rockstar he was now back then, standing there on the sidelines, not that Claus blamed him for Wess raising him to be so meek and timid. Maybe Bronson, if his guilt at his hasty tongue hadn't kept him laser-focused on Dad...it probably could've been Abbot, too, if he too hadn't been hit trying to calm Dad down. Naive, maybe, easily fooled, sure, but no one in town would say he wasn't kind. He hadn't held a grudge against Dad at all. Maybe that was the worst part, that good people could be so easily corrupted by the Pigmask lies.

In the end, maybe Tessie's intervention made no difference since he still followed in Dad's example anyways, but that wasn't on her...and at least now, he only had to remember hearing it and seeing the aftermath. If only the same could go for what happened to Mom. If only he and Lucas hadn't seen or heard it at all and been swept away in the river sooner. If only it hadn't happened at all. No wonder all the grownups had put their memories in the Egg...

Speaking of which...

Grandpa was next in line to get his memory back. They went back to the house so he could get some privacy and sit down before trying to use the Egg, since they all knew it was going to be painful.

Grandpa sat on Mom's chair at the table, put the Egg down in front of him, then Lucas sat next to him and put his hand on the Egg while closing his eyes. It glowed and changed color from its usual white and pink to blue and green with its patterns changing as well until it looked just like the globe from space, except with the continents being greener than they were now.

Just what was he about to remember?

Chapter Text

Minutes passed before Grandpa finally let go of the Egg of Light and opened his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Himari, it shouldn't have been like this..." That was Grandma's name, so it was no wonder Grandpa was saying it while in tears once his memory came back.

He and Lucas gave Grandpa a hug from each side. They gave him as long as he needed to process it all. Eventually, he managed to regain his composure and wipe his tears.

"It was awful just like Leder said, I don't even know where to start...but I've gone through all this before, so this ain't the first time I'm processing it, I'll manage." Grandpa said.

"You don't have to tell us anything if you don't want to." Lucas said.

"No, it's alright...let me start at the beginning. I was born in the twenties, and things were bad enough already back then. I had a hard time believing my own grandpa when he told me there never used to be a 'fire season', just autumn."

"What's a fire season?"

For a moment he was gobsmacked.

"Right, you wouldn't know...it's incredible how the Dragon's power keeps the climate normal on these islands. It was a shock for all of us when we first got here, before we used the Egg and forgot we weren't used to it. Like we'd sailed outta hell and straight into paradise."

For the next few minutes, Grandpa struggled to explain how different the climate already was compared to Nowhere in his youth and how it only became even more dire as he aged. Winter used to be far too warm compared to what it was supposed to be.

"Your grandma and I weren't sure whether it was right to bring a child into the world when even folks from our generation already felt like we had no future. But I'm glad we did."

If even Grandpa felt like he had no future as a kid, then what did that say about all the adults in the village?

"What was Mom like when she was young?" Claus said.

"Our little girl was incredible, she was our ball of sunshine just like you two were to her...she was so kind, and brave, and funny, and clever, too..."

Grandpa went on explaining his life and how he'd raised Mom. He'd taught her her playful humor while it was Grandma who came up with her name. She was a Japanese-Eaglelander, and what was Japan, they might ask? A country on an island chain actually not all that far west of Nowhere.

"The only reason no one ever found Nowhere is because these islands are magical: they don't show up on normal radar, and people don't even see 'em normally...we could only find it because we had the Egg of Light, and that let us see through the illusion. But it used to be called the Sound Stone."

"You mean the thing from the movie?!" He and Lucas both said.

"What movie?"

Right, he hadn't seen it. They tried to explain what they'd learned of Porky's past, even though it was from the very biased source of Porky himself. Some of it could've been lies, but Porky didn't have a reason to lie about the Sound Stone, did he? It was supposedly a magical stone Ness received from a time traveling alien named Buzz Buzz that absorbed the melodies and power of each of eight sanctuaries around the world and give them to Ness so he could defeat Giygas. When Ness reached the last sanctuary and absorbed the power of Magicant, the stone disappeared.

"Porky was telling the truth about that part, at least, that lines up with what we know. There's no way he was some misunderstood hero like that movie tries to make him, though. We might never know the whole truth of it since no one except him is still alive from that time..."

"Except Dr. Andonuts, we could ask him what really happened! He was in the movie, so he would've talked to Ness, he'd know what Porky was really like back then." Claus said.

"I can't believe he really used to be a kid like us...how'd he end up so awful?" Lucas said.

"I dunno..." Claus said. "Maybe it's because he lived so long, so normal people like us all died in the blink of an eye for him and Fassad, so they stopped caring."

"But Ionia was immortal too and she wasn't like that."

"He said his parents treated him like crap, but Wess did that with Duster and he's nice...so he must be like that just 'cause he wants to be, but why would anyone wanna be like that? I don't get it! Whatever, I don't care, I hate him!"

"I don't get it either..." Lucas said. "But it's okay to wonder why he turned out that way, you don't have to feel bad about it."

"It's not just him, though, it's all the people in charge when you were younger, Grandpa. Didn't they know things were getting worse 'cause of how they were running things back then? So why didn't they do anything about it? Even if they were greedy, didn't they know it would be bad for them too in the long run?"

"A lot of them were old enough they knew they wouldn't live long enough to see what their greed did to the young either way. I 'spose those types didn't care all too much about their own kids' futures, if they had any. Some of 'em were delusional about the climate, or thought they'd escape to space when the chickens came home to roost, but they never did figure out space travel like the aliens. That whole nuclear arms race was a game of chicken, too, so you could say it was chickens playing chicken, eh?"

"Ehh...chickens aren't that dumb." Lucas said.

"...Alright, I'll admit that wasn't my finest joke. Anyway, some of 'em hid in bunkers, too, but it wouldn't do them much good for long if they got rid of all the people to do the work for them, or if there was no soil good for farming the food they'd need to stockpile down there. That's why even if they had made it to space, it wouldn't have helped 'em much. I'm not sure how many people are still alive out in the old world...I hope it's not too few. Some places were better off than others."

"What about everyone else who wasn't rich? Why didn't they do something about it?" Claus said.

"It's not like nobody tried. There were protests and riots all over when more storms and disasters kept happening just like all the climate scientists predicted, heck, sometimes even worse than they predicted. One of those scientists was that Jeffrey Andonuts feller."

"You mean Dr. Andonuts?" Lucas said.

"No, the doctor's first name is Andrew, Jeff is his son. Or. Was his son...Dr. Andonuts said Jeff was 14 in 1994 when the stuff with Giygas happened, so there's almost no way he's still alive..." Claus said. He could remember now how much Dr. Andonuts had told him about his son he'd unwillingly abandoned when he was kidnapped through time by Porky, something he only admitted since he knew Claus wouldn't remember it once he was done turning him into the Commander. Did he know? He probably could have asked Leder or some of the Pigmasks who regained their memories what happened to his son...it was better that way if he didn't have to be the one to give him the bad news.

Now he felt bad for Bronson.

"If it's any consolation, Jeffrey passed away peacefully from old age." Grandpa said.

"Oh..."

"But like I was saying, there were a lot of people who did try to do something about the untenable status quo that was slowly dooming our whole planet, and some of 'em weren't as subtle as the protesters. There were revolutionary communists, and I was one of them."

"Wait...so you tried to overthrow the government of Eagleland? Was it as bad as Colonel Green said it was?" Claus said. "I mean, Clive?" How hypocritical of him to call him by his now discarded rank when he hated hearing 'sir' or 'commander'.

"I didn't quite hear everything he was saying back then, you'll have to remind me of some of the details..."

So they did and explained at least the gist of it.

"Hmm...yeah, I'd say it was that bad, and what he told you wasn't even the half of it. The fact our government was slowly killing the planet was bad enough, though. If I tried explaining everything I know, we'd be here all night, so I'll stick to the basics. First of all, Eagleland is the name of both two continents and a country. The country was in North Eagleland. Lucas, you saw the whole world from up on the Dragon's back, right?" Lucas nodded. "Well, these two continents are those two more vertical-looking ones, and North Eagleland ends on that long snakey peninsula."

"Oh..."

"As for the country, it only took up the middle part of that continent, from the east coast to the west, and it was called the United States of Eagleland, or just the USE for short."

"So the anagram's spelled like the word 'Use'. Gee, that's really on the nose, ain't it?" Claus said.

"Funny coincidence, huh? The USE did have a habit of using people...where do I even start? I guess the beginning is as good a place as any. Before it was called the USE, it was just a group of settler colonies that were part of the Foggyland Empire. That's where the 'United' part comes from, since those colonies got tired of being under Foggyland's thumb, so they banded together to rebel against them to get their independence. Too bad they just used it to do their own oppressing."

"Isn't Foggyland where Dr. Andonuts is from?"

"Yeah, it was a country on that big island over in Europe. It lost the 'empire' part a long time before I was born, but back when it was in its prime was when it was colonizing Eagleland. Problem was, there were millions of people there already, and the settlers didn't plan on getting along with the natives."

"So it's like how the Pigmasks came here and took over Nowhere?" Claus said.

"Almost. It was actually even worse, hard as that might be to believe."

"You can't be serious." Lucas said.

"Deadly serious, I'm afraid. The worst part was the disease. See, since Europe and Eagleland were so far apart, and no one had sailed to Eagleland yet-except maybe the Vikings, but forget about them-there were all these nasty diseases the settlers had that none of the natives were immune to. It went the other way around, too, but not as much for some reason. They mostly just gave 'em syphillis back. But smallpox and all the other diseases the settlers brought wiped out almost ninety percent of the native population..."

"Oh god, that's horrifying..." Lucas said. He looked sick struggling to comprehend the sheer scale of death and suffering, trying not to imagine it, but doing so anyways.

"Don't cry, Lucas...this is why I never wanted to tell ya, not about all the awful stuff in my past or history long before I was born, but hiding it didn't do any good." Grandpa said.

Claus tried not to listen in on his twin's treacherously vivid imagination. For once, it worked...

"Porky did something similar once..." Claus blurted out without thinking.

"He did what?!" Lucas said.

"It wasn't as bad!" Claus said. "But it was similar, 'cause he brought people from all these different times and places, and some of 'em got each other sick, since they weren't immune to each other's diseases. Sometimes that brought back diseases that were supposed to be gone, and that got me really sick one time..."

"I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay, I got better, and Dr. Andonuts and the other doctors kept those diseases from spreading too much. I guess in the past people didn't have the technology to do anything about it."

"Yeah...is that why those pandemics were so bad, Grandpa? 'Cause those people got the natives sick by accident and couldn't cure 'em?"

Grandpa sighed. "I wish it was that simple. Sure, they didn't have vaccines or nothin' like that, but they didn't exactly pack up and go home when they saw they were spreading disease. If anything, they were glad it was killing off the locals, some records say they even tried to make it worse."

"What the fuck? How could anyone be so cruel?" Lucas said. He hardly ever swore when he was ten, Kumatora must have rubbed off on him.

"I don't want to know either, all I know is there was a whole lot of money in pushing the locals off their land. If it was just the pandemic alone, then the population would've been able to recover eventually, but it didn't since they kept oppressing them. Like how they almost drove the buffalo extinct since the natives relied on them for food. They even started dehumanizing 'em to try to justify all their atrocities..."

Grandpa struggled to explain the concept of racism to them. There had been no such thing in Tazmily, after all. It wasn't like they'd never seen any signs of it, though, especially Claus. While Porky claimed he saw all humans as equally beneath him, and treated Claus more like a machine than a person, there was a pattern of him being a bit more unfair to some than others, and that kind of discrimination showed up among some of the Pigmasks he pulled from various places and points in time too.

"One way they did it was constantly lyin' and calling them inferior, saying they left the land 'untamed', to make it seem like they didn't really own it so it was okay to steal. But really, they were smart folks who had some fine agriculture. Heck, in some ways they were even better at it than the colonizers. Least their way of doing it didn't wear out the soil in a couple centuries, they knew the land better since they'd been there ever since the ice age made a land bridge. 'Course, they were behind in a lot of other ways, like not having good enough weapons to fight back, but is being good at killing people really something to be proud of? They'd call 'em 'savage' too, even though they were the ones committing all these atrocities and driving them off their land. Whole lotta projection there."

"How'd they get away with this? Wouldn't people see how wrong that was eventually?" Lucas said.

"Part of it was how they covered up their own crimes, too, 'specially later on when open racism and colonialism wasn't acceptable in the 'civilized world' anymore. They'd pretend it wasn't really that bad, and if it was, well, it's not their fault what their ancestors did, so they can't be expected to make up for it, now can they? They even made up a whole holiday called 'Thanksgiving' about this idealized peaceful encounter with the natives..." He started to explain some more and Claus felt sick.

The Pigmasks always lied about what they did wrong and projected their own atrocities onto their enemies too.

"Wait...what happened to the people who lived on Nowhere first? Leder said the people from the kingdom of Osohe left the islands a long time before we got here because they were afraid the Dark Dragon would wake up...but what happened to them after that? Where did they go?" Lucas said. "Did they survive the end of the world? God, it would be awful if they didn't and they could've been safe if they stayed..."

"I hope they're okay, too, but we don't know all the details yet." Grandpa said. "If I remember right, sometime before we wiped our memories, the Magifolk told us how the people of Osohe went to Dalaam, but I don't know how many of them stuck there after that or kept moving elsewhere, or how many of 'em made it through the world ending. We didn't have a lot of information about how everyone else was doin' when we were on the White Ship, since the internet and the cell towers and just about every line of communication went down with all the infrastructure that got blown up."

"I know Kumatora isn't really from Osohe, and her being the princess just the story Tazmily made up for her, but I'm sure she'd wanna meet them anyways." Lucas said. "I wish they had stayed here, we wouldn't have treated them like the Pigmasks treated us or any of those awful people from the past..."

"So do I, but I can see why they feared the Dark Dragon waking up..." Grandpa said.

"..." Claus stared a hole through the table trying to shut out his own treacherous imagination. What if he'd pulled the last Needle?

"He didn't mean it like that, Claus."

"Look, I know what the Magifolk said, but I don't think that really would have happened if-" Grandpa said.

"You don't have to keep consoling me! I get it, ok?! Everything would've been fine, and even if I had destroyed the world it wouldn't be my fault, I guess!"

"Claus..."

"M'sorry..." Claus sniffled. "I'm so pathetic, I can't take anything, and then I take it out on you...

"You're not pathetic..." Lucas said.

Then he had to let them spend another minute or two consoling him or else he'd feel bad about rejecting their kindness too.

"I'm okay now...can we get back on topic? When are we gonna get to the part abour your past, Grandpa?"

"I'd like to start there, but I'm just trying to put everything in context first. I wish history was shorter and less nasty, too. Anyhow...I think I've said the gist of how the USE treated the Native Eaglelanders. But there's more: they killed so many natives they enslaved millions of people from Africa instead to do their work for them."

"They what?!" Lucas said.

Grandpa continued to explain the basics of Eagleland's history...

Claus knew what slavery was on more than just an intellectual level. Porky did call him his slave robot, after all. It meant working without pay, being provided the means of subsistence but no freedom to do anything but what Porky and his subordinates said, and being unable to escape, but somehow what Grandpa described seemed in some ways even worse than what he went through despite the fact he tried avoiding the nastiest details to not disturb them too much. Maybe it was because he at least didn't have to live in fear when he wasn't as capable of fear with his emotions numbed by his programming, but that had its own downsides. Maybe it was just the sheer scale. He at least never had to fear going hungry: sometimes he was given gourmet meals to make sure he got the nutrition to be a good soldier, but he couldn't quite enjoy them. His bed at the Empire Porky Building was comfortable enough. But a gilded cage was still a cage. And of course, there were still the punishments if he did anything out of line...

"They got away with it for so long 'cause they weren't the only ones doing something so heinous, all the industrial powers of Europe pretty much carved up the world as they saw fit. Everyone banned it eventually, but in Eagleland it took a civil war for it to happen. The problem was, they only banned slavery on paper, it was still legal as a punishment for prisoners, and they had laws convicting people for just about anything, especially the people who used to be slaves...in fact, Eagleland had the highest incarceration rate in the world. Besides, even normal wage labor wasn't exactly fair when they had people working for dirt cheap for long hours in awful conditions desperate just to get enough to survive."

Claus had seen and heard of his share of workplace accidents in the Empire Porky Building, but people kept going to those dangerous jobs anyways, because what else were they going to do? Unlike Claus, those ordinary workers were 'free' to work whatever job they wanted, but all the employers were 'free' to pay as little as they wanted, just as the landlords and the stores could charge as much as they wanted for housing and food. It was eerie. He'd always had this inkling something was wrong even as the unfeeling Commander, but no one had quite articulated it properly until Leder. Even now, it felt like he was only barely starting to understand.

The explanation went on and finally they got to the 20th century, where the industrial revolution continued to escalate its pollution of the earth and exploitation of human beings.

"And somehow, people still called Eagleland a great land of freedom, and they'd always go back to World War 2 to justify it...they were the heroes that time, weren't they? But just because they fought something worse didn't make them a force for good. Our family knew that since we were Japanese-Eaglelanders."

"Why did that matter?" Claus said.

"'Cause Japan was one of the nations in the war. Their government was full of fascists just like Germany and Italy, and they did all kinds of atrocities..."

Even the briefest, tamest explanation of the war made Claus sick. The things Japan did to the people of China and Korea were unspeakable, not that he knew what those places were, and then there was the crimes of Italy and especially Germany...

"That's why it was good for all of humanity those regimes were brought down. But that still doesn't justify the USE dropping atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, they used them to kill hundreds of thousands of civilians when the military was already going to surrender anyhow..." Leder had mentioned the first two atomic bombings in his explanation of the world's end, but hadn't gone into much detail due to the lack of time.

He explained a little further. There were many lies claiming it was somehow necessary to vaporize all those innocent people and poison many more with radiation to get Japan to surrender, but in reality, it was more to keep them from surrendering to the Soviets instead and to send a message to the world what those bombs were capable of.

"Then there's how they treated Japanese-Eaglelanders during the war. They put them in camps, accusin' them of working with the enemy even if they were loyal citizens..."

And though they weren't slaughtered or enslaved like in certain other camps, and were let out eventually, by then many of them lost their homes and careers and not all could get them back. Their ancestors on Grandma's side of the family were among those people.

"The end of the war was a huge turning point for the world...it led to a whole new diplomatic system and treaties of human rights that were supposed to make sure all those atrocities never happened again. It was supposed to be the 'war to end all wars', too. No one wanted a third world war, especially now that the nuclear arms race was getting started. The USE and some other major countries made concessions when it came to worker's rights, too, and you'd think all that would mean things were getting better."

He went on. The age of imperialism was supposed to be over, but it proved to be a facade as long as the rich were still in power. The invention of nuclear weapons prevented direct confrontation between the world's most powerful countries, but instead it was one proxy war after another. There was that time the USE bombed North Korea into rubble destroying 80% of all buildings, as if their civilians deserved such horrors just because their government attacked South Korea. Then the coup the USE and Foggyland staged in Iran replacing its democratically elected government with a dictator that supported their interests. Then a failed invasion of Cuba after they dared to have a socialist revolution. Then Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, the list went on, including everything Colonel Green listed and then some, and Grandpa couldn't remember them all off the top of his head, so there were some he was forgetting...according to Grandpa the list of all these foreign interventions by the USE once made quite a long Wikipedia page, whatever that meant.

"And you're telling me people from there actually thought it was the greatest country on Earth?" Claus said in disbelief. "Porky got people to be loyal to him like that, but he has that mind control goo...they didn't have that back then, right?

"No, definitely not. But there were some other reasons...it helped their image when they passed the Civil Rights Act in the sixties, then they could at least say everyone had equal rights on paper." He explained some more about how this apparently gave everyone in the country equal rights to vote and protection against discrimination regardless of race or gender, with women having gotten the vote around half a century earlier. At least, white women. "But that didn't mean things were fair in practice." He said something about systemic discrimination and inequality along with gradually worsening conditions for the poor of all races. Something about the 80s and a certain president rolling back many of the welfare protections that had lifted them out of the great depression. Something about falling rates of profit necessitating more exploitation at home and capitalists being emboldened by the fall of the Soviet Union thinking nothing could stop them now.

"Were any of the things Porky said about communists starving their own people true?" Claus said. He didn't trust him, but he had to know something after all that time travel, right?

"If he was talkin' about China and the Soviet Union, then it's definitely true there were major famines in both of those places, but no, they didn't deliberately starve their own people. It's true they might've been able to save more lives if they'd handled it differently, though, I've got no doubt they made plenty of mistakes with all kinds of tragic consequences, and plenty of wrongs they did on purpose too. But the media in the USE was bought and paid for by the rich just like most the politicians, and they had every reason to lie about anything communists did wrong and make it seem worse than it was. I don't know if Porky was lyin' on purpose or just repeating what he heard and thought was true. But if you wanna talk about famine? Just wait until you hear about the second half of the 21st century."

"What happened then?" Lucas said, as if he hadn't seen the unnatural amount of desert from atop the Dragon's back.

"Like I said, they called it 'global warming', but that doesn't feel like a good enough term to describe the whole world falling apart. When I was young, my own grandpa said the climate was already too hot compared to what he remembered as a kid. He said there used to be so many bugs that you had to wipe 'em off the windshield every time you went on a long enough drive, and you could see so many fireflies at night...then when I got old, I was telling Hinawa how much more it used to snow. We had bigger problems than the ski resorts closing down, though, most people couldn't afford 'em anyways. The real problem was all the droughts drying up the crops, killing people with heatstroke, and turning more and more land into desert. And it's all Shell's damn fault!"

"What's Shell?" Claus said. Surely Grandpa didn't have an odd hatred for turtles.

"One of the oil companies killing the planet. Them and Exxon and all the others kept lying and hidin' the truth about the damage they were doing, even though Exxon's own R department did the research proving it was real. They'd rather make a quick buck than stop the end of the world, and nobody did anything about it...at least not soon enough..."

"Is that why you rebelled? 'Cause everyone was going hungry?"

"Yeah, but it ain't the only reason. Be patient, I'm getting there."

In Grandpa's childhood things were bad enough. He was born in 2020 in the middle of a pandemic that killed over a million people in Eagleland. At first Claus thought that meant it must have been incredibly hard to treat or contain, but Grandpa said most of those deaths were entirely preventable. Other countries were able to prevent the virus's spread far more effectively and have far fewer deaths, even China, despite the fact China was ground zero of the epidemic. Vaccines were invented, but they weren't perfect, and the virus kept mutating to make them less effective the more government negligence and denial of the virus's existence and lies that vaccines were harmful helped it spread more. Apparently, keeping everyone going to work and making their bosses money was all that mattered, not the million dead people and millions more permanently disabled. All this when just a few thousand deaths sent Eagleland on a murderous rampage across the Middle East a few decades before. Why was it called 'Middle East' in the first place, anyhow? Because east Asia was the far east? Compared to where? Why did the UK get to decide it was the center of the world?

It only got worse from there. Grandpa wasn't even in kindergarten when the government was outright funding and arming a certain settler colony committing genocide with the entire world watching.

"See, in my grandpa's time, it was easier for the government to get away with this stuff because the internet didn't exist yet, and when my dad was a kid, at least social media didn't, so everyone would only get the truth a long time after the fact if they covered something up. But that was one of the first times you had the victims of all these war crimes broadcasting what was happening to them in real time and disproving all the lies the media tried to feed us. Maybe in a better world, that woulda been a turning point where we put a stop to all this so the world didn't end..."

But then the government got really good at censoring the internet. Then they began to gradually roll back more and more of the civil rights laws and let the police be even more brutal in punishing any dissent. Their illusion of democracy began to fade until when he was a grown man, it crumbled entirely. The right wing found every scapegoat they could for their increasingly miserable world except the wealthy actually responsible. The military figured out how to reverse engineer the alien ray guns and forcefields, though thankfully they couldn't quite crack the code on the spaceships.

"Then the USE invaded Mexico..."

It was a country to the USE's south that was becoming increasingly uninhabitable thanks to climate change, which spurred on more immigration. Thus it was a convenient scapegoat and target for the military industrial complex. The government brought back the draft. For psychics, it applied regardless of gender, and in their case at the tender age of thirteen instead of eighteen, since that was when their powers tended to fully manifest.

Their family had been farmers even back then, struggling to grow crops and tend to livestock in the dry fields of the increasingly desertified state of Texas with its now scorching summers along with the unpredictable storms. Mom had powers ever since she was little. Apparently, he and Lucas were late bloomers in that way compared to her and Kumatora, only managing a handful of accidental feats of telekinesis. There was also their telepathic link as psychic twins, but that could be dismissed as just having a close bond when they finished each other's sentences, just like them talking to animals could be dismissed as just kids being kids and pretending. Mom's powers had been weaker as a little kid, but she could at least move some small objects at will and make little flames and heal small wounds like paper cuts, so unlike with them, people knew she had them.

Including the government.

"WE HAVE THE BUILDING SURROUNDED! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP SLOWLY, OR YOU WILL BE CONSIDERED FELONS FOR ILLEGALLY HELPING THE PSYCHIC HINAWA TANAKA AND HER FATHER ALEC EVADE THE DRAFT, AND YOU WILL BE TREATED ACCORDINGLY!" Said a painfully loud mic from one of the military vehicles scaring all the animals outside their little farm house. Or were they police vehicles? It was hard to tell the difference nowadays. Alec had tried to forge documents and lie and say Hinawa didn't have psychic powers the same way he'd feigned enough disability to dodge the draft himself, but clearly it hadn't worked after the deadline for her enlistment passed recently. They must've gone back and figured out his own deception in hindsight too.

Alec made sure the locks were secure and readied his shotgun.

"No, Dad, don't fight, they'll kill you!" Himawari said trembling in the corner holding her head in her hands, ever the scared younger sister.

"I can't let them take Hinawa." He said.

"Then I'll go willingly!" Hinawa said. "Please, this way no one has to get hurt!" She was shaking too struggling to put on a brave face.

"But what about you?! I can't let them make you into a killer, and I sure as hell can't let them send you to die!"

"There's t-too many of them, you can't win, we should run away!" Himawari said sobbing her eyes out.

"THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING!" The mic said making Himawari scream.

"We can't, we're surrounded. There's no good option: either we let them take Hinawa, or we fight back and risk everyone dying." Himari said. The police weren't known for mercy or maknig sure not to hit more than their intended target in the crossfire.

His wife had always been the cooler head between them, but even she was overcome with fear, she just held herself together with incredible composure other than the shaky grip on her own shotgun.

"You can't be saying we should let them have her, can you? We can't do that..." Alec said. Some horrific mental calculation of losing one daughter versus both and their own lives.

"I know, and I'm not." She said. "Hinawa, take your sister and hide in the basement and stay quiet, we're going to try to convince them to stop this. If anything happens to us, then wait until they're gone, then go to the neighbors, they'll take care of you. If they find you, don't try to fight! Just listen to them and take care of yourselves. Understand?"

"But Mom, I can't-" Hinawa said.

"I know, I know you don't want to, but there's no time to argue and I need you to listen! Please, I love you both so much and I need you to be safe!"

"Okay, Mom, I understand." Hinawa said blinking back tears.

"No, I can't leave you!" Himawari screamed but Hinawa grabbed her hand, yet she resisted, freezing in fear, slowing Hinawa down as she pulled her along.

"Stupid Japs never change, even now they're not loyal..." The mic voice grumbled under his breath forgetting to turn it off. "Permission granted to breach." His voice now echoed over the intercom from something just outside the door.

"Copy that."

The quadcopter burst through the window shattering it into pieces. It was a tiny little helicopter with four propellers and a gun that had been tested on the children of Palestine and now aimed its laser sight at Himawari.

BOOM!

Alec was quicker on the draw than whoever was commanding this thing from afar to kill children. The drone was obliterated in a single burst of shotgun pellets. He reloaded as fast as he could.

CRASH!

Two soldiers kicked the door off its hinges, then aimed their plasma guns.

BOOM!

Both their spreads of shotgun pellets bounced off blue forcefields surrounding each of the soldiers.

ZZZZZT

A burst of electricity made him spasm on the floor unable to see or think much of anything.

The other soldier didn't set his gun to stun.

Why was he spared when Himari was blown to bloody charred pieces by a plasma blast?

Hinawa must've had the same thought when she was electrocuted and Himawari met the same end as her mother. Was it just because they were the ones being drafted?

He couldn't scream once he could think enough to process what happened.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Hinawa could.

Her body shouldn't have been able to move a single muscle except to spasm. But those psychadelic flashing lights within her refused to bend to the laws of reason. Not anymore.

Hinawa saw red and so did he. When she let out that bloodcurdling scream of grief and rage, a stream of flames burnt the two soldiers and the unhinged door to a crisp. A soft green light glowed around her own body, that must have been what let her stand despite the electrocution. The flames began to spread from the wall around the front door.

"THE TARGET'S POWERS HAVE AWAKENED! REPEAT, THE TARGET'S PSI HAS AWAKENED! PERMISSION TO USE LETHAL FORCE ON IT GRANTED! OUR LIVES COME FIRST BEFORE A NEW RECRUIT!" Mic Guy said in a panicked voice and his vehicle took aim. A massive plasma blast missed its intended angle through the window to her thanks to an anxious trigger finger and instead ripped the wall apart sending burnt splinters everywhere including into his side and left leg. He was lucky none hit his head.

Finally he could scream. But he couldn't get up and do anything to help.

"GIVE THEM BACK YOU MONSTER!" Hinawa screamed and threw a fireball that ignited the fuel of Mic Guy's truck and made it explode killing everyone within including the one with the drone. Another fireball destroyed the empty car of the first two soldiers.

The last two soldiers broke into the room from behind, and would have killed Hinawa then and there if the first one didn't miss and the second never got the chance to fire before both were charred corpses.

Then the sound of gunfire went quiet, leaving only the crackling flames and their screams and the panicked animals outside.

When Hinawa finally stopped screaming, the geometric lights around her faded and she looked at what was left of her mother and sister and her bleeding grandpa and the men she'd killed.

"No, no, no no no oh god no please! W-wait, wait wait my powers are stronger now s-so I can heal you! Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay-" She kept saying that while using that green light to put their pieces back together but the only one she could heal was him, making those wooden shards tear out of his flesh which rapidly healed itself. Nothing happened to Himari and Himawari's charred bodies.

She sobbed. "NO! It's supposed to work why can't I help you? This is all my fault, why couldn't I protect you sooner, I wanted to but I couldn't, it's not fair, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" She screamed and sobbed more, then coughed from the smoke.

The fires kept spreading, inching towards Alec and his family's bodies.

"No, no, this wasn't supposed-" She coughed again. "to happen!" Then her hands glowed blue and reflexively sent a wave of cold instead putting out the fire near the wall and freezing those two soldiers' bodies solid. "I never wanted to kill anyone!" She lied.

Or maybe it wasn't a lie. Claus had never wanted to either until he saw Mom die. He'd never wanted anything to change him to make him capable of that kind of hate.

He had better control of his telepathy now, so he'd only seen a few glimpses of that scene and Grandpa's emotions, but it was enough. Lucas did a better job not accidentally prying, but he was in tears just from having heard Grandpa tell the basics of the story trying to avoid any gruesome details other than the fact of the deaths themselves.

"If you want to know why I became a rebel, that's why. They shouldn't have killed my wife and daughter if they didn't want me to shoot back." He said grimly.

Claus started to realize why Grandpa liked making stupid jokes to lighten the mood.

"But everyone said Auntie just got sick like Fuel's mom, and that she wasn't so young when it happened..."

But it never added up. Mom barely ever talked about her, which wasn't like her. Whenever Claus asked too many questions about her or Grandma, Mom and Grandpa shied away from the details. Tazmily's sanitized past had always been a fragile illusion just as much as its veneer of being a utopia. Fuel's mom had died, but she had a terminal illness, so people knew it was coming, so it wasn't that bad, was it? Except it was. Nana's dad went missing, but no one had seen him die, and he'd gone and taken the risk of sailing into the unknown in the first place...but that didn't mean he brought it upon himself. Duster had been abused, but no one knew what went on behind closed doors, and he said things weren't that bad between them like Wess told him to. But then Mom died. Then Claus died. If it happened to them, it could happen to any of them, couldn't it? Every villager must have had the thought in the back of their mind of what if their spouse was next? What if their kid was next? What if they were next?

Then instead of letting that break their facade of utopia for good, they clung to all the false comforts the Pigmasks offered...

But how could he blame them for hiding from their past when he'd done the same?

"Hinawa couldn't bear the thought of forgetting about her completely, but it was hard living with the real way we lost her and your grandma. So we changed the details and took away the worst of our grief."

"I can't believe Mom would do that..." Lucas said. "She's the one who taught us not to run away from our feelings, she said it's okay to be scared or angry or sad."

"Yeah...I'm the one who ran away. I'm the one who's weak. You're more like her, Luke, you could live with remembering all the pain, I couldn't. It doesn't matter if they forced me to forget, that only happened 'cause before that when I remembered, I did something stupid that coulda got me killed 'cause I couldn't live with it, and then when I remembered again..." Claus trailed off. "So I don't get it, how could Mom do that?" As if he hadn't just seen why.

"Well, she was one of the ones most against the whole idea of wiping our memories, she was sure it would be better to learn how to live with it instead of forgetting and riskin' repeating our mistakes, and I 'spose she was right..." Grandpa said.

"So why'd she listen to everyone else? It's not like she'd back down just 'cause most people were dumb and didn't agree with her." Claus said.

"'Course not, she's always been strong willed, so it wasn't just 'cause most the villagers wanted to do it. But not everyone was as strong as her, some folks weren't holding up well after all we'd lost...some people didn't know how to go on if they had to live with rememberin' it all."

So it wasn't just him?

"It wasn't all or nothing, either, we knew our memories didn't have to stay changed forever. It was only supposed to be long enough for everyone to settle into their new lives and have some time to heal, and for our kids to have some time to grow up in peace without all our burdens. But we ended up passing 'em on to you anyways by forgettin'..."

"You couldn't have known the Pigmasks would show up, we've been over this already..." Lucas said.

"Maybe not, but now that I remember it all, it reminds me why we couldn't forget the hell we were running from. We had to know why we made our village the way it is, or else we could've screwed it up on our own down the line, even if no one else came to ruin it."

"No, people here aren't that cruel, we wouldn't have made things so bad on our own." Lucas said. "If things did start getting bad, Leder coulda spoken up and reminded us of the past, or Duster and Wess could've gone and gotten the Egg." Then again, they saw how that went the first time. "Leder probably would've said something if the Pigmasks hadn't kidnapped him..."

"Well, there's no point dwellin' on what could've been...I just want you to know what your mom was really like when she was young. She was an incredible person, but she wasn't perfect, even she struggled with all that pain. That's why I can't blame her for going along with the Egg plan in the end, she deserved a better childhood than the one she got, even if it was fake." He said. "...and her sister did, too. God, she didn't even get to grow up! I bet she would've been an amazing woman just like Hinawa, I wish you could've met her..."

Grandpa tried blinking back his tears and they hugged him again.

"I wish I coulda met her too." Claus said.

"Yeah...I think I would've done the same thing in Mom's place, it must've been so hard for her living with that for so long. I only had to live with you being gone for a few years, and I didn't know for sure you were gone, and I got you back..." Lucas said to Claus.

They let go of Grandpa.

Claus imagined a world where the Mecha-Drago had killed Lucas too right before his eyes. Why was it that her powers awakened then and his didn't? Did he not want it enough? Or was it just because he was younger and a late bloomer compared to her?

Then it hit him.

"Wait...Mom killed people? I'm not saying she did something wrong, they were horrible and they deserved it! But I never thought..." That she'd been burned by the flames of revenge too. That awful people tried to make her into a weapon too. That she'd failed to save her little sibling and mother too.

Had the Egg of Light washed away not just her tears, but the blood on her hands, so they could be clean when she held her babies?

"Yes, and sadly that wasn't the only time. She was the last person to want violence, but they forced us to fight to survive..."

"If Mom had to fight, too, then what would she think of me having to hurt all those people and animals?" Lucas said. "I know I had to, but I can't help feelin' like she'd be ashamed..."

"Of course she wouldn't be ashamed, she'd be proud of you for doin' the right thing. And she'd be sad that you had to in the first place, she would've wanted to do the fighting in your place, and she'd say there shouldn't have had to be any fighting at all. I know you feel like you lost your way, but trust me, you're still her sweet little boy, just like she was still my sweet little girl even when she had to fight. She had the same kind of feelings as you, worrying she was getting too cold and violent, so I had to be there to remind her like I'm reminding you now."

"T-thanks, Grandpa, that means a lot..." Lucas said wiping a tear. "What happened next?"

"We had to go on the run after that since there was a huge manhunt for us. We wouldn't have been able to hide for long if the rebels didn't take us in..."

They started meeting the rest of the future Tazmily villagers after that. Some were already with the revolutionaries, some they ran into later, some they had already known before this.

"Duster and Wess used to be real thieves back in the day." Grandpa said. They only stole to survive, taking food and medicine the corporations would rather allow to waste away on store shelves and tossed into landfills instead of letting them go into the hands of the poor. They even stole a stockpile of baby formula locked behind reinforced glass to keep baby Kumatora alive after she lost her mother and father.

"And speakin' of them..." It had been a safe childbirth thanks to Tessie being the doctor at her delivery, so that wasn't why Kumatora's mom died. Instead it was because the government found out about Kumatora's psychic powers that manifested soon after her birth and sent in their agents to kidnap her early, probably hoping to make her grow up indoctrinated and loyal. They killed her mother and father in cold blood and would've abducted her if not for Tessie and others getting her to safety.

But that was getting ahead of themselves in the narrative, that didn't happen until the year the White Ship sailed. It was hard telling all these things in order.

"Can you tell Kuma her mom and dad loved her? I know they're not the ones who raised her, and I don't wanna make it seem like they count more than Ionia, but it might make her feel better to know they cared and didn't abandon her..." Lucas said.

"I'll ask if she wants to know about them, and if she does, then I'll tell her."

"That seems like a good idea...do y'think she could remember anything from the Egg of Light if she used it, or would it not work since babies don't remember much anyway?" Lucas said.

"I'm not sure, but she could give it a try."

"How did you find the Egg of Light, anyway?"

"It was thanks to Hinawa. I mean, thanks to your mother. She had a strange dream one day about the Sound Stone showing up again in the first sanctuary Ness went to, Giant Step, and she was sure it wasn't just her imagination. If you believe the stories about Ness, the psychics back then had prophetic dreams like that too. I trusted her instincts, so we went there and sure enough, we found it. That's how we were able to find the Nowhere Islands in the first place, since the Sound Stone helped guide her there when normally people couldn't see 'em. Or the Egg, whatever you wanna call it. It's like the Dark Dragon was guidin' us there the whole time. I don't wanna imply this was all predestined somehow, though, it only worked because we made it happen. Maybe the Dragon was just looking out for us and tryin' to make sure at least some of us survived what we were doing to ourselves."

"You think so? That sounds nice...I just wish she could've done more for us." Claus said.

"Me too, but she's not all powerful, and she was asleep back then." Lucas said.

"I know, I know..." Claus said. "So what else happened?"

"We didn't find the Egg of Light until just a few years before we went on the voyage, around when Hinawa was in her early twenties. It took a while to get ready to go there, since we had to find all the right people to go on the journey with us so we could make a sustainable community once we got there. We needed the White Ship and a lot of supplies, too, obviously."

The White Ship crew was a ragtag band of misfits, refugees, hippies, deserters, draft dodgers, anarchists, communists, and various combinations of the above. They were all united in the shared interest of making sure the whole human race didn't go extinct if the looming threat of global nuclear war really did happen.

Mayor Pusher hadn't actually been a mayor in the old world. Instead, he was the token rich person among them who helped fund their whole expedition by quitting his nepotism-earned corporate job and giving away his share of his family's generational wealth after seeing the sheer suffering his fellow bourgeoisie were causing.

"You're telling me even he used to be a good person? Really?" Claus said with his arms crossed.

"Yeah, believe it or not. I 'spose it was easy for him to fall back into his old ways since he forgot what made him change..."

"That's so lame..."

Lighter and Bronson would've gotten engineering degrees if their college didn't expel them for protesting the USE's war crimes, so they tried other means of change by joining the revolutionaries. Many were radicalized by the criminalization of peaceful protests: if even waving a sign gets you locked up, why not go all the way? Caroline was a baker even then, but didn't own a shop of her own, since her mom and dad's store got bought up by one of the handful of monopolies that owned just about everything. Instead, she volunteered at community kitchens struggling to feed the many made hungry by the famines or homelessness caused by skyrocketing rent or the constant storms or the war.

Mapson was among the deserters. He hadn't been eager to use his navigational skills against the people of Mexico or wherever else the USE decided was its latest victim. Thomas had been a firefighter back then, too, but he didn't have a bazaar on top of that. It took up all his time and effort as it was fighting the constant wildfires all over Eagleland in its increasingly dry climate. Nippolyte had struggled to bury all the bodies even when he wasn't quite as old. Isaac had been a loner in the past, too, since like many he'd been separated from his family, but he had more trouble than others making new friends to fill the gap. It was hard for Claus to even be mad knowing he joined the Pigmasks when he had too, willingly or not.

...Where was Isaac lately, anyway?

The younger adults in town like Abbey and Abbot had been just kids back then, and the mere fact many of them had no relatives here said enough about the sheer tragedy on its own.

"I could keep going, but if I try to tell you everyone's stories, we'll be talking all night. Let's just focus on your mom and dad."

"How did Mom and Dad meet?" Lucas said. They'd been told in the past they were childhood friends, but obviously much of what they knew about Tazmily's history was fabricated since the adults hadn't been born here.

"Honestly, it was like something out of a storybook. She found him wounded on a battlefield and healed him and a bunch of other people, and he was just about head over heels for her at first sight. She fell in love with him quickly, too, and she told me it wasn't just 'cause of his handsome face, but how he helped her out when she was tired from overusin' her PSI. She loved how kind he was helping her patch up everyone's wounds."

"Aww..." Lucas said.

Claus smiled too and felt something warm in his broken rusty heart.

"I was happy for her, of course, Flint was a decent enough young man."

"What was Dad like back then?" Claus said. How much of what he knew about him was a lie? He'd only held back this question so long since all the other things he learned made it slip from his poor attention for a bit.

"I only met him when he was nineteen and Hinawa was eighteen, but I know enough. He was...hmm...he was different. He was still kind, but he wasn't quite as bold as a young man. Wouldn't see him taking on a Drago by himself, that's for sure."

"Weren't you helping him, Grandpa?" Lucas said.

"Oh, don't flatter me, I didn't do much except distract it. I mean her, not it, sorry. My back was killin' me by the time I got halfway up the plateau, so he did most of the work, and not just 'cause he had the spear with the Drago Fang. I ain't exactly gettin' any younger."

"I don't get it...if he wasn't as brave then, then what changed him? Was it all something he made up with the Egg?" Claus said.

"No, I wouldn't put it like that. It was real, it was who he wanted to be. Forgetting everything he went through just made it a little easier, and he went through so much...even before we met him, he'd lost his older brother to heatstroke and his father to diabetes."

"He lost his brother too?" Lucas said in shock. "That's so sad...but what's diabetes?"

"It's a disease that makes your body not make any insulin, or at least not enough, there's two types of it. You don't need to know what insulin is right now, the point is you need it to survive. Back then, people could make up for it by injecting insulin, though, and there was more than enough of it made as medicine. Those corporate bastards just made it too damn expensive! Sorry, I need to watch my language."

"No, it's okay...I think I get it."

"What really happened is we lost him to a medical bill, not a disease, and a bill's not all that different from a bullet if you think about it. Just takes a more roundabout path."

"And the people who send them can act like they didn't kill someone." Claus said bitterly. "What about Dad's mom? I mean, our other grandma? Is she okay..?" He tried not to get his hopes too high.

Grandpa sighed. "We lost her to the world war. We didn't see it happen, but we knew she was in one of the cities that was destroyed by the nukes. Same went for a lot of people everyone knew. Then there's other folks we don't know for sure are gone, but their chances aren't good."

"Oh...I get why it was so hard for Dad after he lost so much, but if he wouldn't have been the way he is without forgetting, what does that mean for him?! I wanted to be like him, Grandpa! What does that say about me?!" Was he just chasing an illusion? Becoming the broken person Dad really was instead of what they imagined him as? What Dad had imagined himself as? Claus's head was spinning.

"It's okay, calm down..." Lucas said.

"It's not okay!" Claus got out of his chair. "I thought it was just Porky turning me into his robot that made everything weird, but the whole village was made up!" He gestured to the window with the view of the east side of the fractured village, then started pacing around the room uneasily. His head ached. "All the grown-ups went through all this horrible stuff and we had no idea! I thought Dad really was who we thought he was! I thought I was who I thought I was!"

"Hey, breathe..." Lucas put a hand on his left shoulder, the one he still felt all of. "I know it all feels wrong and they made things up, but it was all still real to us. You're still you, and Dad's still Dad, we're just learning more about him and Mom and everyone."

"But you looked up to me, you thought I was the strong one and I was a good big brother, but I wasn't, I fucked up when everything went wrong..."

"You didn't-okay, maybe you made a mistake, but you shouldn't blame yourself so much, and that doesn't mean you weren't a good brother."

"What about Dad? Was he a good dad when he was leaving you alone all the time?" Claus said.

"Well..." Lucas looked away awkwardly. "No, but-"

"Don't say but, he was a bad dad! The Dad I knew wouldn't have done that! At least I thought I knew him, but I guess I don't know anything anymore! Maybe he was always gonna fall apart as soon as something really went wrong, and I was too!"

"You've got every right to be angry at him, but don't be so hard on yourself." Grandpa said. "Just 'cause you did something reckless once doesn't mean you weren't strong or brave for your age. Now that I remember, I've seen too many kids who've lost a mother or father, and lemme tell you something: I've never seen a child who wasn't hurtin' something awful after that. Hinawa had just as hard a time as you did, and the only reason she didn't make the same mistake as you was 'cause she already got her revenge and I was there to watch her. Besides, do you really think she never did anything else reckless fighting the government? There's still so much more I haven't told you about her."

"She did? But Mom's always been so patient and smart, she wouldn't-"

"Not always. Takes time for anyone to learn, even her. People said she was 'wise beyond her years', but she was still just a girl who had to grow up too fast."

"Oh..."

"People said that about me, too." Lucas said with a frown.

"I wish they wouldn't...even if they're right, you shouldn't have to be, you should get to be a kid. You should both get to fool around and make all the mistakes you want instead of havin' to be perfect for people to appreciate you."

For a moment Claus smiled in gratitude.

...But then he remembered the bitter twist in his gut that he'd shoved down for this entire long conversation.

"Then why'd you call Lucas a fool for letting me go?! He had a fucking nightmare about you!"

The rest of that conversation was awkward and painful. Grandpa apologized but he barely listened to it before storming out of there. The worst part was that hurt look on Lucas's face. Wasn't he the one who was supposed to be angry for Lucas when he was too nice for it himself? Was he just stirring up trouble now over things that had already been resolved since Grandpa apologized a long time ago? But it wasn't resolved if Lucas had a nightmare, was it? Maybe even if it was a problem, he was being stupid since Lucas could take care of himself now. He didn't know anything anymore. He spent a little while yelling and cursing at the air, then apologizing to the sheep for all the noise once he'd cooled down at least a little.

The sun had dipped quite far in the sky west of the house already, even though it was summer...they'd been talking for hours.

"Woof!" ('How about some fetch?') Boney said after coming out of his doghouse.

"That sounds nice, I need something to distract myself besides yelling and bothering you and all the sheep. Sorry about that again, boy."

"Ruff!" ('I thought Lucas was the one who apologized too much!')

"Haha, me too..." Claus said.

They played fetch for a little while with an old worn down bone that Lucas must have used a lot in all those boring days spent waiting for him and Dad to come home. At least he could still play this game well enough with only one arm. When was the last time he'd been allowed to play like this? The Commander wasn't permitted much in the way of entertainment, nor did he seek it out. A few times, Porky had challenged him to some of his old video games and was furious when he lost, insisting he was cheating by having a brain that was part machine. He learned to let him win the same way he'd let Lucas win, but Porky could almost always tell. Sometimes Lucas could tell, too, but unlike Porky, he didn't let it slight his pride. He would just smile, touched that Claus cared enough to try to help foster what little self confidence he had. With Boney, things were simpler. If best boy wanted exercise and fun, then he would get it, that was all. Simple was what Claus needed right now. For just a little while he could just feel alive.

Until he started to notice Boney coming back to him slower than he remembered.

"Woof?" ('What's the matter?') Boney said, having dropped the saliva-covered bone at Claus's feet still waiting for him to take it.

"It's nothing, boy." Claus lied and threw it again, but Boney didn't chase it this time.

Boney whined sadly. ('You can tell me...')

Claus sighed. So much for three years of wearing a mask teaching him how to lie. "I'm just worried about you getting old...I missed three whole years of your life, and now you're eight, so you've got what, three or four more years left? I can't stand the thought of losing you too."

"Woof!" ('In dog years, that's an awful long time! I wouldn't want ya to spend all that time worrying...can't we just have fun now that you're finally back? I missed you so much!')

"But..." Claus said, then shook his head. "Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry, I'm just making you worry too now..."

"Ruff!" ('I'm still in my prime fetching years!') Boney said with pride.

"Haha...yeah, you sure are." Claus knelt down and pet him again. If only for now, he felt grounded in the present again.

But his thoughts started going back to the past again by the time of their awkward family dinner. To three years ago when Grandpa hurt Lucas's feelings. To Dad not being there in those three years. To far further back than that before they were even born, when their parents were living through all these horrors.

To his credit, Grandpa didn't shove their argument under the rug when it was time for dinner.

"Y'see, we had an argument earlier, because Claus found out about the hurtful things I said to Lucas back when Claus went missing..." Grandpa said, then gave his apologies all over again.

But did it really help? Sometimes all his and Dad's remorse felt like salt in the wound instead of a bandage. Couldn't even be as mad at them as he wanted if they really were sorry now. It was convenient that way, how all the bad happened while he was gone and now they got to let bygones be bygones. All because he'd chosen to leave Lucas's side in the first place.

"I told them about what I remembered, and you should know too, there's just so much to say."

"It can wait, I'll get my own memories back soon enough, and then I'll know everything you told them anyways, since Hinawa would've told me about her past before we all lost our memories. I don't want to make you talk yourself hoarse twice in a row." Dad said.

"Sure, but even if you'll know, there's still more I haven't told them yet."

"What about what I missed? I wanna know more about Mom's past, too, but what happened here while I was gone?" Claus said.

"I already told you how I wasn't treatin' Lucas right, what more is there to say?" Dad said.

"Can't we focus on something positive? I wanted to talk more about your mom's childhood and the good parts of it." Grandpa said.

"It can't have all been bad, right, Luke?" Claus said. "There must have been some good times in the last three years..." Were there?

"Yeah, but they weren't the same without you and Mom..." Lucas said.

No one wanted to focus on those details of Lucas's lonely neglected life or Dad's futile search. They didn't ask Claus about his time with the Pigmasks, either. No one wanted to get all the dirt out from under that rug if it might hurt his feelings and make him kill himself again, and were they even wrong to think that way? They didn't say that part out loud, and he didn't abuse his telepathy, but he knew.

So for the next few minutes Grandpa started talking about Mom's childhood.

"She loved gardening ever since she was little. Even though the soil was in rough shape, she never let that stop her. She was always such an optimist...maybe that's the only reason any of us are still around in the first place. Most people thought we were chasing a fantasy with the Nowhere Islands, y'know. They didn't know they even existed. A lot of folks thought the world was doomed and it was too late for anyone to do anythin' about it. But not her. She stared the apocalypse dead in the eye and made it blink first."

"Whoa..." Claus said.

"Whoa indeed. Everyone doubted her, but now here we are. Here you two are. And if what Lucas said is anything to go by, the rest of the world's got a chance at a future too. Even when things look hopeless, all we have to do is find a way to keep on going like she did...I hope you two can do that too."

"I don't know if I can be half the person Mom was, but I'll try." Lucas said.

Claus didn't say anything. He didn't like hearing people talk about Mom with the word 'was', but it would be wrong to berate Lucas for finding the acceptance he couldn't.

Then there was a knock on the door.

"Can I have the Egg back? Some people are whining since they're in such a hurry to use it too." Kumatora said after opening the door. "I told them to shove it since they've got plenty of time, and I wanna make sure you're not scrambling your brain before anyone else tries it. How're you holding up, old man?"

"I've been better, but I'll manage. They don't have anything to worry about except remembering what they've been through, and they already lived with that once." Grandpa said after handing the Egg of Light over.

"Okay, good to know. How about you two? I know you're not the ones remembering, but you were talking for hours, so he must've told you a lot about his past and whatever shitty-I mean, crappy stuff went down back then." She glanced at Grandpa while adjusting her language.

"Honestly, I'm not feeling good...I don't even know where to start about all the awful things I heard about the old world. I know we already heard some of it from Leder, but there's more, and he was just talkin' about the world in general, not Mom and Dad and Grandpa specifically." Lucas said.

"Aw, I'm sorry to hear that, kiddo. C'mere." Kumatora said and gave him a hug. "How about you?" She said after letting him go.

"I'm fine." Claus lied. "It's not like I never heard about anything dark before, I was with the army."

"Oh...right." Kumatora said awkwardly.

No one asked for further detail, again.

"What about you?" Claus said. "Are you gonna use the Egg too?"

"I'll wait until everyone who's in a hurry is done first, it's not like I'll remember much anyways. Hell, might be nothing at all since I was just a baby. Whatever it is, it's no big deal." She said.

"Grandpa knows about your parents." Claus blurted out without thinking.

"He does? I mean, you do, Alec?" She said the second part looking at him to avoid talking about him like he wasn't there.

"Yeah, but I'll only tell ya if you want to know. I know the Magifolk were the family that raised you, so it's not like you have to know about your blood family..."

"I know, and they a...were, but I still want to know. Not right now, though, you can tell me later." She didn't sound comfortable with the past tense yet either. "Or I'll just ask someone else once more people have their memories back. You guys can go back to your meal, I'm gonna go help more of the villagers with that. Let me know if you need anything, kiddo. You too, Claus." She said before heading out.

"Wait!" Claus said just before she was out the door. "Uh..." He wanted to ask again if she was sure she'd be fine living on her own without her family, but he stopped himself, that would be just like how everyone was walking on eggshells around him. "Never mind." He said. How was she supposed to believe she could handle it if no one else believed in her? How was he?

Once she left, Grandpa went back to telling them more stories about Mom's childhood. He talked about Grandma, too, how in some ways she'd raised Mom just like Mom raised them, just in a more difficult time, and that that was part of how Mom learned how to raise them.

"I never used to think about like that, I guess I thought it came to her naturally...but like you said, Grandpa, she wasn't always a mom, and she wasn't always a grown-up, so she must've had to learn it somehow. She put in all that effort figuring out how to be a good mom just for us..." Lucas said with a smile.

"I wish I could've thanked her for trying while she was still here." Claus said with a frown.

"Well, if she were still here, I think she'd tell you it was all worth the effort. She still made it look easier than I did, though, I barely knew what I was doing the first few years." Dad said.

"It was all worth it? But she didn't even get to see us grow up! Sorry, I-"

"No, I should've said that differently, I know it ain't fair she passed on so soon." Dad said. "She should've gotten to see you grow up, but what I meant was she was happy to have all the time she did with you, even if it wasn't effortless to take care of you."

Was that why everyone worked so hard not to hurt his feelings now? Was it all worth it for them even when he felt like nothing but a burden? The Commander had been a burden to almost everyone around him, a high maintenance machine if ever there was one. Well, everyone except Dr. Andonuts. Sure, Mom and Dad saw him as a blessing, even when as a baby he kept them up at night and they had to change his diapers, but wasn't he not a baby anymore? Wasn't there anything he could do besides be needy? Something good, for once, instead of all the awful tasks and functions of the Commander?

Dad managed to clean all the dog fur out of their twin bed before it was time to go to sleep. Grandpa got a sleeping bag, though he said he would've been fine with just sleeping on the rocking chair by the fireplace.

The twin bed was a little small for the both of them now, but they managed to fit somehow. Despite that and how much harder he found it to fall asleep, in another way it was more comfortable than ever. He never used to be the cuddly type, but now Lucas's warmth kept him grounded in reality. Made him think everything really was gonna be okay somehow. Long gone were the days of the ungrateful Claus pushing him away or complaining about him taking the sheets. Lucas appreciated his presence just as much. It took both of them longer to fall asleep than it once did, but to his surprise neither of them was kept up all night by all the awful thoughts about the last few years or the horrors their parents went through. Lucas fell asleep first, then over the next hour or however long Claus tried to relax listening to his steady breaths tuning out all those thoughts.

Somehow, they'd made it. Despite all the horrible things that happened, they were both still here, now, in the present...that was what mattered, right...?

Chapter Text

A thirteen year old version of Mom stared at him in his nightmare. She looked so different from the Mom he remembered, being even shorter than him and staring at him with dead eyes and a face spattered with blood while standing in her burning house next to the bodies of her mom and little sister.

"Let's switch places, Claus. Let's see how you like growing up in my world."

"M-mom? You're scaring me..." He took one shaky step back.

"Didn't you say you were a brave boy?"

"I lied! I'm sorry, I just wanted to look cool in front of Lucas and make you and Dad proud of me, but I got scared and fucked everything up when something actually bad happened!"

"Then you must have taken after your father instead of me..."

When he woke up in a cold sweat, everything felt so wrong. It took all his restraint not to scream and wake everyone up.

They were all sleeping peacefully like everything was fine. Lucas still clung to him, Grandpa snored in his sleeping bag, and Dad slept like a rock as if his and Mom's bed wasn't forever half empty. He couldn't explain this feeling. It was like the walls were closing in on him and he couldn't breathe. Like he didn't belong here, or in his quarters at the Empire Porky Building, or anywhere. His heart should have been beating so fast but it refused to. Even his CPU looked at Lucas and still saw the pain he'd caused him, still saw the nightmare, calculated his threat level. Extreme. A psychic as strong as him, maybe stronger with the Franklin Badge to stop his lightning. Only his compassion had held him back in both their battles, and now he had no cannon or sword to fight with.

He tried to reason with his racing mind, Lucas wouldn't hurt him, it was okay, everything was fine, this didn't make any sense, so why was he so scared? No, he wasn't just scared of Lucas, but for him too, Lucas was helpless before him now sleeping peacefully, what if he went back to being that mindless machine, what if he-

Claus ran out the door before he knew what he was doing. He shivered even though it was a relatively warm summer night.

Then he was standing in front of the fence blocking off the small coastal cliffside south of their house. If he was going to hurt anyone because he was scared, it couldn't be Lucas. Never again. He hyperventilated but his heart wouldn't beat at all let alone fast.

It would be so easy. To just...jump. He probably couldn't even swim with only one arm. And if drowning hurt too much, he knew from experience he wouldn't survive shocking himself, maybe that would knock him out this time. A few sparks flew from his hand.

"No no fuck I can't do that I promised!" He backed away as fast as he could. But he couldn't make the thoughts stop. He tried holding his head between his hands, but he only had one hand. His hair tingled from static.

Then he felt something across his telepathic link with Lucas. Like his panic had spread to him and woken him up.

No no no not again please be okay please be okay please be okay-! Lucas thought and Claus heard without meaning to.

"Don't do it!" Lucas yelled after running out the door.

"I wasn't going to! I mean, I was, but I can't 'cause I promised, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to but I had a nightmare and I woke up and everything felt wrong and I thought, I thought-!"

"Just calm down and get away from there!" Lucas was breathing fast too trying not to cry.

He took a few steps closer to Lucas uneasily but then Lucas closed the distance and tried to hug him so he put his hand out gesturing for him to stay away.

"No, don't come any closer, what if I hurt you?!"

"Huh?!" The confusion seemed to knock some of the panic out of him. "But you wouldn't! I don't get it!"

"But I thought about it! I can still feel it, this machine stuff in my head, I know Dr. Andonuts said it can't control me, but what if he's wrong, I wouldn't think something so bad if he was right!"

"Just breathe!" Lucas took a deep breath himself trying to calm himself down. "He's not wrong. I know you're scared but you'll be okay."

"But, but I-"

"Just tell me what happened."

"I already said, I had a nightmare but I woke up and I couldn't breathe and I don't know, I just, I can't-"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. Just tell me a few things you can see."

"Huh?!" Now he was the one confused. "Why?"

"Just do it, please, it'll help you feel better."

"I can see you, and the grass, and the sheep, oh shit, I scared the sheep, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay, they'll be fine."

Lucas would later tell him these odd questions about his senses that somehow worked in distracting him from his panic were called grounding exercises, and that this was called a panic attack. He'd say that he learned such terms for these things from Kumatora, and she'd learned them from one of her coworkers during one particularly bad night at the club. But for now, he didn't give any such labels and continued to ask such questions or just remind him that he was safe and this would pass until Claus's head stopped spinning, at least to the point he could think enough to say what happened.

"It started when I had a nightmare, so I woke up scared, and then you were there, and I guess that robot part of me was scared of you...so I...so it thought about...hurting you." Claus said in a quiet monotone voice. "That's why I ran out here and thought about...but I wasn't gonna do it! I promised I wouldn't but I scared you anyways, I'm sorry, you trusted me and I just hurt you again!" Claus sobbed his monotone long gone.

"You didn't hurt me, I'm okay."

"I mean I hurt your feelings!"

"You didn't-okay, you did scare me, but it's my job to worry about you, I'm your brother."

"It's supposed to be the other way around, I'm older..."

"Only by a few minutes, and Mom wanted us both to help each other out when we're older, so here we are." Lucas said. "...Do you know what an intrusive thought is?"

"Huh?"

"You said you thought about hurting me, then yourself, but you didn't want to."

"That wasn't me! I mean, the first one..."

"It doesn't have to be someone else for you to not be a bad person. It's okay if it was you."

"No it's not!"

"It is, really. Intrusive thoughts are thoughts you don't want to have, and anyone can get them, you don't have to be a cyborg. I promise nothing's controlling you anymore or making you think anything weird."

"Really?" Claus could sort of get the idea, he'd had some thoughts he didn't necessarily want to when he was little, but not as dark as this.

"Yeah...I've had thoughts about hurting myself too, that doesn't mean I wanted to."

"You have?!"

"Yeah...but it's what you do that matters. You didn't hurt yourself, so you didn't break your promise to me, and you didn't hurt me either. You only thought about it, and that's not your fault."

"It still doesn't feel okay. But even if this is okay, you don't get it, there was something else! I didn't say what happened in the nightmare."

"You don't have to."

"I don't care, I should. I saw Mom, but it wasn't like when I...died...it was all wrong, she was so young like Grandpa remembered her, and she said mean things I know she'd never say! She said I should switch places with her and live in her world!"

Lucas had an appropriately haunted look, but also this weird feeling of deja vu Claus could just barely pick up on. Surely he'd crossed a line and even Lucas would see how wrong his thoughts really were.

"I know it's wrong, I'm sorry, I know the real Mom wouldn't say that and I was imagining her hating me like I hate myself!"

"No, I'm not mad, it's okay! I'm just worried! I'm so sorry you had such a bad dream, I know you know she wouldn't be mean like that, you just said so. Nightmares are kind of like intrusive thoughts, too, it's not like we wanna have dreams that scare us or make us sad. They're not your fault either. I'm sorry, it was a mistake to give Grandpa his memories back right away, we shoulda waited until you were feelin' bett-"

"No, it's better this way, Grandpa shouldn't have to wait on me!"

"He wouldn't want to hurt your feelings either."

"Yeah, but..." He wanted to say Lucas was wrong, but then again..."What if this happens again? What if next time I can't control myself? I'm scared..."

"It won't come to that."

"How do you know?!" It felt like they'd had this conversation before and he was just going backwards.

"I, well...sorry...I know I don't know for sure, but I believe in you." Lucas said looking apologetic. "I can't make you stop having nightmares, but we don't have to keep sleeping in the same bed. You wanted a separate bed three years ago too, right?"

"Yeah, but it's different now, I actually miss sleeping like this..."

"Me too, but we don't have to right now if it'll just make you feel worse. We don't even have to sleep here. It's not just you: sometimes it was easier for me to sleep when me and Duster and Kuma and Boney were traveling, and sometimes it was hard when it was just me and Dad at home. Some nights he didn't even come home..."

"Oh...it was lonely sleeping without me and Mom there?" Who had hushed away Lucas's nightmares the past three years? Who had tugged on his shirt waking him up so he didn't sleep past noon? "I'm sorry, that's my fault..."

"It's not, really. You wanted to come back home, it's not your fault you couldn't." Technically, it was, since he wouldn't have survived his battle with the Mecha-Drago if not for the people who turned him into the Commander, but then again, he wouldn't have fought it...her in the first place if not for them, either.

"I know, but I don't wanna have to sleep somewhere else, I really want to stay here. This is home, right?" If it wasn't, then what was? It had to be home enough without Mom, somehow.

"Remember the saying about home being where the heart is? You don't have to live here all the time, but that doesn't mean you can't come back, and anywhere can be home as long as you're with people you care about."

Lucas kept telling him such tidbits of wisdom in the days to come. He'd say how Claus had already been forced to live like an adult moving out and working, so it wasn't fair to force himself to stay rooted like a kid if it hurt him.

He ended up staying up the rest of that night. It was only a few hours until dawn, anyways. Lucas couldn't get back to sleep either. At first he lied when Dad got up that he just happened to get up earlier rather than staying up, but Lucas didn't even need to say anything for his Lucas-shaped conscience to get him to fess up to the whole breakdown. He was surprisingly understanding. Why did everyone's basic compassion surprise him now? Too many days of superiors snapping at the slightest provocation.

Grandpa was in shambles once he got the whole story, insisting even more than Lucas it was all his fault. What was he thinking giving him all this baggage at once? Claus tried to remind him he was the one who was asking so much not to be coddled, he could've said he didn't want to hear it yet. It was his own fault trying to carry more than he could handle, wasn't it? He had to console him like this while Dad was getting breakfast ready.

Apparently, that wasn't so common around here anymore.

Dad did know a few good recipes for breakfast and other meals, but Mom's and now Lucas's omelets weren't among them. Lucas must have spent more time memorizing Mom's whole catalogue. But milk and tortillas were more than good enough to take all these meds he needed now with. Dad's hands weren't shaky anymore, and he insisted on making breakfast for everyone now that that was the case instead of the other way around. He asked Tessie a little while later if he could have his memories back, but she insisted he wait the full three days for all the alcohol to be out of his system, so one more to go. Doctor's orders.

Speaking of doctors...

"Can you get rid of the robot eye, I mean the prosthetic eye already? You said you don't have the equipment for it here, but that means you have it somewhere else, right? It's not like the earthquake could've destroyed all the labs..." He asked Dr. Andonuts later that day. Only Lucas had come with him this time, his family was trying not to treat him like glass as much despite how much he'd earned it. The implication went unsaid that despite all the doctor's earnest remorse, he wouldn't leave Claus alone in a room with him anytime soon.

"No, but there's obviously nothing left of the facilities at the Empire Porky Building, and the Chimera Lab is in ruins too. I'm afraid there wasn't much left of it in the first place after the Ultimate Chimera's rampage. Alas, I can't say we didn't have it coming."

"Can you get rid of it or not? Sorry, but I'm tired of seeing this in the mirror, it's creepy."

"Believe me, I understand, and yes I can."

"Okay, so when can we start? Where do I have to go where you can get it out?"

"There's just one problem...removing it is one thing, but leaving the socket completely empty wouldn't be good for your health."

"But you said you could get rid of it!"

"And I can, I just can't leave the eye socket empty afterwards. That wouldn't be healthy even for a normal eye, and in your case, it hooks up directly to your cybernetic hemisphere, so we can't have that exposed to open air or have your tissues trying to fill in the gap." Then he explained a few things about the history of prosthetic eyes, how at first they had no vision at all and merely prevented the problems that came from the eyeball being entirely gone and made sure you could still blink and open and close the eyelid, then there were bionic eyes that restored at least some vision, and now they had an even more advanced version, with his in particular being made to link up to his cybernetics.

"I still don't like it, I thought you could just take it out and be done with it." It wasn't his fault he was an ignorant hillbilly.

"I suppose I should have explained it all more clearly...but you don't like it because it looks unnatural, right?"

"It is unnatural! I'd rather be stuck with being blind in one eye than replacing it with this thing."

"If I'd had my way, I would've given you that option, but Porky insisted otherwise...I can't give you your blinded eye back, unfortunately, it's gone for good. But I can build you a new replacement."

"How would that change anything? Wouldn't it just be the same as this one?"

"Well, I could at least make it look more like a natural eye on the outside, and I could make it blue so they match."

"Then why didn't you do that in the first place?!" Claus pouted.

"I wanted to, but Porky has childish tastes, he thought a cyborg with heterochromia would look 'cool'..."

"Heterowhatnow?"

"Ah..." He had that surprised, even amused look he'd had many times before when realizing the depths of the hillbilly Commander's ignorance. But not looking down on him in a mocking way like Porky would. Just amused. "'Heterochromia' means having two different colored eyes. It's Greek, you see. As opposed to 'homochromia', since 'homo' means 'same' and 'chroma' refers to color. It's like how 'heterosexual' means being attacted to the opposite sex while 'homosexual' is being attracted to the same sex, but in laymen's terms those are usually called 'straight' or 'gay'."

"Ohhh, that! So 'hetero' means 'opposite'? God, I feel dumb now..."

Now that he thought about it, the Mecha-Drago had heterochromia too. Her natural red eye and a robotic blue one replacing the other which must have been torn out. Had he been forged in her image? The superior obedient and almost thinking weapon compared to the uncontrollable pained monster. Or maybe they weren't so different after all.

"You're not dumb, there's a lot of things I don't know either about all the science the Pigmasks have. Heck, you probably know more than I do since you've been around their scientists so much." Lucas said.

"Thanks, Luke..."

"It's not your fault you didn't get much of an education in Tazmily." Dr. Andonuts said.

"Hey, it wasn't all bad! We did learn a lot of practical skills like how to help out around the farm, and Fuel's good at building stuff like his dad." Claus said. "I guess it's true the grownups didn't teach us everything they knew about science or history, though..." Until now.

"Yes, of course, I don't mean to demean your village's ways, and there's plenty of time to catch you up on what you missed. Never mind that, what do you think of the offer? Do you want a new eye or not?"

"Well...it's better than what I have right now, so I guess so." Claus said.

Then they sorted out all the boring details of scheduling an appointment. He had to sign some form about agreeing to the risks of the surgery, no matter how small, then get Dad to sign it too once he got home. How novel. Nobody ever asked what he thought about surgeries before.

"I changed my mind, I'm gonna take those 'anti-depressants' now or whatever they're called. You said I have to let you know if I wanna start or stop taking 'em, right?"

He didn't say why he'd changed his mind, and Lucas, bless his heart, didn't spill the details either.

"Oh, that's good news! Yes, it's to make sure you don't have any problems from changing the dosage too quickly. Remember, don't ever take more or less than you're supposed to, no matter what!"

"I know, you already told me..." He'd stressed again and again the potential life and death stakes of overdosing. Any medicine in enough excess could be a poison.

Soon it was time to head out the door but then he remembered something.

"You're from the same era as Porky, right? What was he like back then?"

"I can't say I knew him all that well personally at the time, but I did hear about him from Ness. In some ways, he was nothing like he is now, but in others, he hasn't changed a bit. I'm afraid he's only changed for the worse over the years."

Porky really had been a kid once. Not a nice kid, but a kid nonetheless. He'd learned abuse at a young age, from his parents and from other kids who bullied him for his weight, hence the nickname 'Porky'. His real name was actually Parker, he'd just stuck with a reclaimed playground insult all this time.

"Isn't that kinda pathetic? All this time and he still hasn't grown out of that? I used to be terrified of him like he was all powerful, but now he sounds lame..." Claus lied, he still was terrified even though he knew Porky could be and had been defeated. It was hard to unlearn everything trained into him for years overnight.

"'Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!' Ah, that's right, you wouldn't know-"

"I know that line, that's from The Wizard of Oz!" Claus said. When the titular wizard was exposed as just some lame old man tricking everyone into thinking he was so great and powerful. Lucas had always been more of a bookworm, he lost patience with reading more often, but he did listen when Mom read to them when they were little...

"So you do know? But how? There weren't any movies to speak of in Tazmily before it was modernized!"

"What do you mean, movie? It's just a book."

"That explains it, it must have been one of the books they brought over from the old world on the White Ship. I suppose they must have had at least some that were for entertainment. But believe me, there was a movie, just a movie based on that book. Hold on a second...does that mean you think Kansas is just a fictional location too? Fascinating."

"Kansas is real?!" Lucas said.

"No way..."

"Indeed it is! It's a state right in the middle of Eagleland. Alas, it must be in a miserable state now compared how it was in the book..."

"I hope at least some people are okay...maybe it wasn't as bad for people living out in the farmland instead of the big cities." Lucas said.

Claus didn't like thinking about it either.

"I hope so too...now where were we again? Ah, that's right, Porky."

Porky coped with the abuse he went through by taking it out on others, whether that was other kids at school, both those who'd picked on him first and those who hadn't, or sometimes even his little brother Picky. But he wasn't entirely without affection. He did care at least a little for Picky, whose real name was Peter, and for his first and best friend, Ness. Ness was bullied for being fat, too, and that was part of how they became close.

But Porky didn't know how to treat his friends right, and he never cared enough to learn. In time, their bond became more toxic as Porky took their friendship for granted. Maybe it was because he was spoiled rotten, if only when it came to material wealth, and that made him used to entitlement. Maybe he just didn't know any better. There was definitely some envy there that Ness had the loving family he lacked, which only got worse when Ness's journey began and he started making new friends. Porky said he was glad he wasn't one of the Chosen Four, and while it was true he was too cowardly to be a hero, Ness couldn't help thinking Porky felt spited by destiny or the universe itself picking Ness over him, and that that was why he took Giygas's offer to work for him. He felt like Ness's new friends would steal him from him, so he helped Porky's other minions kidnap Paula first, and that was the last straw. Ness wouldn't forgive him for it since he wasn't really sorry, just pretending to be.

So he just kept spiraling downwards. Giygas helped teach Porky his own misanthropic views, but he wasn't controlling him the way Porky controlled Claus. What proved it was that Porky stayed that way even after Giygas's death and ran away through space and time instead of trying to make amends with Ness, taking Dr. Andonuts with him.

But something didn't seem quite right.

"I don't get it...I get why he kidnapped you, he wanted you to do science for him so he could be some evil dictator like Giygas. It's wrong, but I get the idea...but why'd he travel through time? I get why he would wanna get away from his mom and dad, and I know he didn't want to apologize to Ness, but what about Picky? I mean, Peter? Why would he just...leave him behind?" Only now did it haunt him how Porky had abandoned his little brother too...he may have heard of Picky as the Commander by watching the movie about Ness's adventure, but only now could he connect the dots. Picky hadn't been brought to the future like all these Pigmasks, and there weren't even robotic doppelgangers of him like with Porky's mother. Porky didn't talk about him much either, unlike Ness. Maybe he didn't like reminders of his brother's absence.

Claus didn't like being reminded Mom was gone either.

"He didn't bring him with him when he first started traveling through time, he only kidnapped me back then...instead of abducting him, he gave him a letter to give to Ness to taunt him and say 'come and get me, loser!'." He said using his fingers as airquotes. It was just like the ending of that movie said...

"So he cared about Peter and Ness too much to just kidnap 'em?" Lucas said.

"He told me that he did ask Peter to come with him and help him build his empire, but he said no, and for once he took no for an answer. He didn't want to sound like he backed down, though, so he said since Peter wouldn't join of his own free will, then he was 'too much of a loser to help him anyways'."

Like when-

"You better not snitch! I'm gonna kill the Drago, not them! I don't need anyone's help...I'll get so strong not even Dragos can stop me!"

If Lucas tried to fight the Drago, he'd hesitate, magic or not. Horrible images flashed through Claus's mind of Lucas being bitten like Mom. If Lucas died because he let him come along, he'd never forgive himself. Claus put the knife in his pocket and shut his eyes while clenching his shaking left fist.

"At least let me go with you! I can help, I'll-"

His left fist hit Lucas's face in a blur. The scream and the dull pain told him he'd hit, even if his eyes didn't open until Lucas already tasted the dirt. He couldn't bear another second seeing that betrayed, horrified look. Just like the one Lucas had back when Dad lashed out...

"See?! If you can't even fight me, you'll never beat a Drago! You'd just get in the way!" Claus turned his back on his sobbing, whimpering twin and ran into the tree cover as fast as he could. His guilty tears watered the grass on the trail to the forest.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" He slapped his own face the moment he was out of Lucas's sight. "No, I had to do that, I'm protecting him! Right? Y-yeah, now that he's so sad, he won't come after me...and I'll say sorry once I get back, I'll say it a hundred times!" He knew that still wouldn't be enough, but Lucas would feel better once Mom wiped his te-

Oh.

Claus seethed with more rage than ever.

"I'm sorry I said all those awful things when you asked to come with me after the Drago! I'm sorry I hit you! I was just scared you'd get hurt, but I was so stupid, I'm-"

"It's okay, I'm sorry too! I should've found some way to convince you not to do it, or at least I shoulda told the grownups sooner. You only hurt my feelings, and I knew you didn't mean it, but I put you in danger by not saying anything!"

"I put myself in danger, don't make it your fault!" Hadn't they been over this already?

"Both of you, please just calm down! What's this all about anyways?"

"It's 'cause I...uh..." Somehow the question calmed him down a little. "Because I said something mean like Porky too when I told him not to come with me."

"That was different, you're not a bully like him! He was doing bad things, he kidnapped people!" Lucas said.

"It's not like I was doing the right thing either."

"Well...yeah, but you wanted to come back, he abandoned Peter for good!"

"Who says he didn't wanna come back too? Maybe he just couldn't. He got locked out of every other time except here, I mean, now...right, doc?" Claus said.

"Yes, but it wasn't all at once, or else he wouldn't have been able to keep traveling through time all those years. At first it was only the time he came from. You see, he may have let Peter tell him 'no', but he thought he had the option of going back and asking again, or changing his mind about giving him and Ness a choice. So, when it turned out there was no going back, he was furious about it. I did warn him about the risks of time travel, but that boy was never any good at listening..."

Neither was he.

"See, he used to be just some stupid kid like me..."

"That's not true, you're nothing like him, not even how he was back then. You were only trying to do the right thing, you wouldn't pick on your friends or try to get them to do bad stuff!"

"But I did pick on you!"

"Well, that wasn't on purpose! I said I forgive you, okay? Just please stop being mad at yourself!"

"I don't know if I can do that, but fine..." Claus sighed and tried to calm down. "Even if we were different back then, it sounds like he wasn't all bad when he was a kid, so how'd he change from that to how he is now? It just doesn't make any sense..."

"I don't have the full picture, either." Dr. Andonuts said. "There's still so much we may never know about Porky, since I wasn't there for most of Porky's journeys across space and time: if I was, I'd already be long gone since I'm not immortal like he is. From my perspective, he left in the Space-Time Distorter one day and came back hardly recognizable."

"Couldn't you ask him what he did while he was gone?" Lucas said.

"I did, and I heard about some of it, but not all of it. He did all sorts of terrible things while he was time traveling, like kidnapping people to join his army, so that's one reason. He must have gotten more and more used to crossing those lines the longer he was at it."

"That still doesn't explain why he wanted to..." Claus said.

"I'm not quite sure why, either. He kept digging himself deeper ever since he worked with Giygas, so he could be too afraid to admit he was wrong and face all that guilt. Perhaps he wanted revenge against the world that wronged him? He was certainly greedy for power, I can say that much for sure. There's no doubt he's afraid of death since he had me build the Absolutely Safe Capsule, and he may think only having all the power to himself will make sure no one else hurts or controls him. He's the pitifully pessimistic sort who can't imagine a world where you aren't either the oppressed or the oppressor. It could be all those reasons and more, but only he knows for sure...he loves to talk, but never about his insecurities." Dr. Andonuts said.

"We could still talk to him now." Lucas said.

"I wouldn't recommend that, my boy. First of all, we couldn't get there if we tried, all the elevator paths have caved in. I don't think digging another tunnel would be worth the effort, it would only give him the attention he craves."

"You're probably right, but...I dunno...should we really just leave him alone forever? We could try to convince him he was wrong and get him to be sorry...I can't forgive him no matter what, even if he feels bad about it, but it would be better than nothing." Lucas said.

"I doubt he'd be willing to listen to anything you have to say except to use it as a chance to hurt you more. He's had quite a long time to consider changing his ways already. He'd most likely repay any kindness by trying to get under your skin and tear you down, making people feel small is how he feeds his ego."

"Yeah, I know, so don't try it, Luke..."

"Only if you don't go there to yell at him."

"Okay, fine..."

They both said it in a way that they could tell the other wasn't sure they could keep that promise. He couldn't blame Lucas if he went there and tried against all odds to get Porky to see reason and regain what little conscience he'd had as a kid, or even if he tried to just break the capsule and kill him, or yell at him if that failed. He'd probably try all those things himself once he had the chance. What was the alternative? Just resigning himself to Porky staying this awful person forever? Letting him win after all the torment he'd put him through?

Or was making themselves miserable by wasting their time trying to change him or kill him the real way they let him win?

Chapter Text

The best and worst part of the antidepressants was that they worked.

Somehow, it was frustrating that he could make some of the misery draining all the energy out of him go away just like that. Wasn't getting over trauma supposed to take work? Dr. Andonuts insisted he wasn't manipulating his emotions by taking these pills, they were only making it so his brain wasn't literally deprived of the chemicals that help made him feel happiness or satisfaction out of anything. But that meant for who knows how long he'd been at an unfair disadvantage, like playing hard mode on one of Porky's video games. All the reasons for him to be miserable were still there, but everything was just a little easier somehow.

At least, it would be in a few weeks when the meds started to kick in. Right now, it felt like nothing had changed. Between the initial lack of effect and his forgetfulness, it was hard to stick to taking them, and he probably wouldn't have if not for people reminding him and insisting they'd work eventually, and because of his nightmares that if he didn't, he might...that.

Anyway.

In the meantime, he had better things to do than worry about all that. Just like the Commander always had a task, he always had something to do, because if he stopped for a moment, it would be back to having no energy for anything except being miserable.

Right now, that was listening to other people's woes instead. After Grandpa, Duster was one of the first to get his memories back along with Wess, and now he was at the house explaining what he remembered to him and Lucas and Kumatora while Dad and Grandpa were kind enough to go handle the chores outside instead of listening in.

"It was mostly like yer grandpa said. We were real thieves instead of fake ones, but we were only stealin' to try to survive that awful world. I still broke my leg the same way since Dad was pushin' me too hard in the training. He said he was sorry back then, too, in my real memories, but if he really meant it, he woulda stopped treatin' me the way he does. You know what the worst part is, though? It ain't even the past, it's the present. I thought rememberin' everything would change him somehow, make him sorry, but instead he's just doubling down. He says he only did what he had to to toughen me up so we could survive out there."

"Then how come he kept being a bad dad once you got here?! What's the fucking point of making a better world if you raise your kids like that?" It was hard for Claus to grasp. At least with Dad, he'd only neglected Lucas once their ideal life fell apart, and only because he was looking for him. But even before that, Tazmily's 'utopia' hadn't been much of one for Duster.

"Wish I knew. He always said he was training me to protect the village and find the Egg if the time ever came that we needed it. Before we forgot everything, he's the one who volunteered for the job in the first place. Even after, it's like he knew somewhere deep down that this was all fake and it wouldn't last...he was always vigilant, he never fell for any of that Pigmask propaganda. I just wish he knew how to relax and enjoy the peace we worked so hard for." Something about it gave Claus this guts-deep itch. At some subconscious level, Wess had remembered there was a very real enemy they'd all run from, and too many other villagers welcomed back that same kind of evil with open arms and wool-covered eyes. But then, if he remembered the wrongs they were afraid of, how could he forget what they were fighting for? Had he ever really known in the first place?

"That just makes it worse! If he cares about the village, then why the hell doesn't he care about you? Ionia had a mission long before I was even born, but she never put it above me, she said the little time she had with me was the best part of her life." Kumatora said.

"He'd said he cared every once in a while, more when I was younger, but he was usually too much of a coward for the 'L' word. Maybe cause it wouldn't sound honest, no one treats someone they love like that. He's got other excuses, too, he said his own old man treated him even worse, so he must think he's not so bad in comparison."

"I can't imagine much worse than what you went through." Kumatora said.

"I can." Claus blurted out in his monotone without thinking.

Another of those awkward silences.

Then another minute or so of people making it about him and all his problems when it was supposed to be about Duster.

"I'm fine, really! ...Okay, maybe I'm not, but can we talk about Duster again?"

Eventually they did.

"You know, I think all that time he spent tryin' to toughen me up just did the opposite. He's the one who got me used to not believin' in myself and letting people boss me around, and then he goes and complains about me being a coward. He wants it both ways: wants me to be brave, except when it comes to standing up to him. Wants me to stop bein' a moron, but not if I think I know better than him. Wants me to control my emotions, but then if he gets mad at me, somehow that don't count as him throwin' a fit. It was the band that helped me actually toughen up."

"Porky's like that too, he always wants it both ways. I know he's worse, but that doesn't mean your dad didn't treat you that bad." Claus said.

"Yeah...what about your mom, though? I know everyone thinks she passed away in childbirth, but now we know you and the other grownups weren't born here, so I don't know if that's true." Lucas said.

"It was, we didn't change our memories about that part, just that we weren't born here."

"Oh, I'm sorry...I wish you at least got a chance to get to know her. What did people say about her? Was she nice?"

"I can only guess, but Dad thinks so. Everyone had to be a little tough in a world like that, that's why she was a thief too, but she was kinder than him, and even he had a soft spot for her. Alec says Dad was never the same after she died. I see what you're getting at, and maybe things would be different if she was still around, but there's no point dwellin' on it."

"I know, but you still deserved better..." Lucas said.

"Yeah, don't even get me started, or I'll have to go scare the shit out of your dad again. Hehehehe." Kumatora said.

"Haha, you should totally do it, he really has it coming." Claus said with a smirk.

"Nah, there's no need for that...that's just doing things his way anyway. I'd rather just say what I have to say and move on with my life."

"I hope you can move on..." Lucas said. "Y'know, all this about your dad trying to 'toughen you up' has me thinkin' about Mom...people say she coddled me and made me a crybaby, but at least she told me to speak up if something bothered me and always listen to my heart. Mom and Dad never spanked us or yelled at us, so we never thought that was normal, but Wess got you used to being treated real bad and not caring about your feelings...does that make any sense?"

"It makes perfect sense, actually...that explains a lot. That must be why you stood up to all the injustices of the Pigmasks in the first place, huh? And to think half the village thought you were a coward..." Duster said.

So much for him being the braver twin.

"They should've known better after you got the Drago to stop Fassad and his tanks when they came after us."

"Lucas did what?!"

"I thought you knew since you were with the army. Didn't they tell you anything about what they did in the past?" Kumatora said.

"No, they...well, they told me some of it, but I was the Commander back then, so I didn't think about it being Lucas, I didn't remember I had a brother...ugh, this is all so confusing!"

"It's okay, it's my bad for not doing a better job catchin' you up on everything." Lucas said.

"I know you did it, 'cause Fassad told me, but I don't know how...that would've been the day after I went missing, right? How'd you still manage to go and do something like that?"

Lucas tried to explain. It had taken all of little ten year old Lucas's willpower and courage to ask the papa Drago to help Kumatora, Wess, and Salsa, since everything he'd been through left him unable to do much but sob before that one moment of bravery. Oddly enough, it was fear that gave him the courage he needed, fear of letting someone get hurt if he did nothing.

"Like you thought you let me get hurt..." Lucas hadn't admitted to that part just now, but Claus could tell.

"Yeah..."

"That wasn't your fault, you shouldn't have had to keep me safe from myself like that, and anyone could've kept an eye on me and made sure I didn't go after the Drago! You shouldn't have had to go get the papa Drago's help, either. I know other people can't talk to animals like us, but then it should've been me! If I'd stayed, I could've been the one to talk to him for you instead of being stupid and wanting revenge!" And instead Lucas had been left to pick up the pieces of his deadly quest for vengeance and do the right thing for him.

"You shouldn't have had to do that either. I know you wish you could've helped me out fighting the Pigmasks instead of being forced to work for them, but you shouldn't have had to fight either, I think I said all this already."

"Yeah, I know, but it still would've been better than you having to do it without me..."

There was still so much he didn't know about what Lucas had been up to while he was gone, even what he'd been told about Lucas's journey while he was the Commander. It just wasn't the same without getting his perspective on it.

He knew there was a reason Lucas hadn't told him much. He couldn't blame him for thinking he had too much on his plate already, since it was true.

But at least hearing all these depressing stories meant he wasn't alone in the woes, right?

"Hey, remember the little Drago? She's gotten really big in the last three years...y'wanna see her again?" Lucas said later that day. She had been around ten like them three years ago, and apparently Dragos had huge teenage growth spurts like some other similar types of dinosaurs, all of which were now extinct, of course.

The thought of playing with her again tugged on some heartstring. Metaphorically speaking.

"No, I can't play with her again like nothing happened, I'd just scare her..." Claus couldn't look him in the eyes.

"I thought you'd say that, so I asked, and she says she's not mad at you."

"Really? Even though I tried to kill her mom, and Dad...did." Dragos didn't have as good a memory as Ostrelephants, but they were surprisingly smart despite the size of their brains.

"I don't know if she'd be comfortable around him, but that's different, you didn't actually do it."

"Only 'cuz I failed...and it's not just that, now I'm a chimera, too, and I've got these creepy mismatched eyes like what they put on her mom, that would scare her too. Plus I lost my arm and she could see how it's still gone, I don't want that to remind her of everything either." And seeing her would bring up his bad memories too.

"She won't be scared, I promise."

"You can't know that."

"Okay, maybe I don't, but she still said she wants to play with you again. I'm sure she can get used to how you look now. I think you can get used to being around her again, too...you don't have to, but I think it'll be worth it."

He couldn't bring himself to face her until he had his new eye a few weeks later. Hard to do that when he could barely face himself in the mirror without seeing Lucas or the Commander.

So, long before he got the new eye, there were other things he had to do to help with that. First things first, the army outfit had to go.

That included the boots, which meant getting new shoes that he had to slowly and uncomfortably adjust to like his new life. They wouldn't get thrown in the trash like everything Porky got bored of, though, the days of landfills were over. Besides, it wasn't the fault of the clothes themselves they haunted him so much.

There wasn't much left of the fur coat and cape after how badly he fried himself, and all the spare identical outfits were either crushed under rubble or torn to shreds when the Empire Porky Building went down. The boots and pants, however, were still intact and happened to fit Fuel, and it wasn't so unnerving seeing them worn by someone else.

On the other hand, the helmet was something he didn't want worn by anyone he'd see regularly, so it got sent off to some ex-Pigmask construction worker at some point...when he asked how it fit an adult, Dr. Andonuts said people tended to have their heads fully grown by about age fourteen for boys and ten for girls, so it wasn't so odd. He'd gone through a few different helmets in his three years as the Commander, and the latest one had been a bit tight by the end of his tenure, but he never complained.

The cannon, wings, and sword were all scrapped for parts. The jetpack was left intact, other than the entirely cosmetic wings once attached to it, since it might be able to see practical use somewhere...just not by him ever again.

Then there were his old shoes from when he was ten. He gave those away to Alle as a hand-me-down now that her feet almost fit that size. As the youngest kid in the village, she got hand-me-downs like this often, but somehow this felt different.

"Try not to fall off any cliffs, alright?"

"C'mon, you can't joke about things like that!" She said with a pout.

Why not? Better to laugh it off than cry, right? Or maybe not, but that was just how he did things.

Then, at last, there was the red scrap of cloth from Mom's dress that had haunted their house for three years just like his shoes...maybe they would've simply buried it with her, he realized, if it wasn't for Dad being unconscious in jail during her funeral. So much could've been different if even a few people made better choices. But dwelling on what ifs wouldn't change anything, all they could do was find a way to live with the here and now and everything in it.

"What if we knit it into a scarf? Mom wouldn't want a piece of her dress to hurt us, so instead it can keep us warm and cozy."

"Hahaha, you're such a sap!" Claus said and ruffled Lucas's hair making him laugh. "I like it, though..."

The last of his makeover would be dyeing his hair orange again. It was both nostalgic and odd: with his hair orange again while wearing that same kind of yellow and cyan striped shirt, he looked almost like his three years younger self, but not quite. It was better than before, though.

"Lookin' handsome." He tried to tell himself when looking in the mirror forcing a grin.

Dad wasn't wearing his hat the next day when all the alcohol was finally out of his system and it was his turn to get his memories back. At least Claus wasn't 'bald as a bean' like him.

In his case, Grandpa was able to warn him about the worst of what he'd remember in advance, but it didn't make it any less tragic. Watching it all come back to him wasn't like seeing him driven mad by all those horrors, instead he looked more somberly, soberly sane than Claus had ever seen him before. It was hard for him, too, starting to have a grasp on what the world was really like after three years of that dissociative haze in Porky's insane dystopia...and now that he thought about it, after ten years of living in the fantasy Mom and Dad and all the villagers made up trying to save themselves and their kids from their past. Now both he and Dad had to live in this wasteland of reality.

They both hugged Dad once he was done wiping his tears after it all came back to him. Despite the awkwardness, they still held him tightly, just because he hadn't been a good dad the last few years didn't mean they couldn't feel bad for what he went through way before then.

"Y'know, there were folks back then who went on wild goose chases too, who tried saving people beyond saving but only made things worse like I did. Even some folks in this village...but I won't say who. Who am I to judge? If I'd remembered all this, I could've known better than to do the same thing as them..." Dad said after they let go.

Neither of them were sure what to say to that. Couldn't exactly say he was wrong.

"Yeah, you could've." But Claus felt guilty the moment the bitter words came out of his mouth. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, it's true."

Claus wished Lucas would say something too.

After another awkward silence, Dad told them more things about his past, mostly about things they already knew from what Grandpa told them. But he didn't ramble on the way Grandpa did, not wanting to dwell on all those grim details.

"It just ain't right...back then, your mom was the one who believed we'd make it to old age, even when I thought we were doomed, so why am I the one who's still here instead of her?"

"I don't know, Dad, I know it's not fair, I wish she was still here too..." Lucas said.

Claus wasn't sure why he was still here either. Only that Mom would want them all to keep going.

The only silver lining he could see to learning all this was that at least by hitting rock bottom, they knew which way was up.

"You really wanna know what I remembered from being a baby? Like I thought, it wasn't that much."

"Tell us anyways." Claus said while sitting on a bed in the cramped hotel room he sometimes called home.

Some nights he couldn't stand being in Dad's house for reasons he couldn't explain even to himself. Other times, he needed his real home's warmth to keep the cold metal laboratory walls and barracks from closing in on his dreams. Some nights he had to sleep alone to get even a wink, others he clung to Lucas like Lucas had on those stormy nights when they were little. Shouldn't it have had to be consistent? If it wasn't, it felt like he was faking both. People tried to tell him otherwise. Tried saying trauma was rarely rational, that he was hurt in multiple ways, being starved of affection and taught to associate touch with pain. The poor Pavlovian dog in him needed to be trained out of both those things slowly and gently.

Seemed like all he could do these days was need.

"I've only got one memory from back then that isn't all fuzzy. It must've been right after I crawled outta the womb, since everything ached like hell when I heard my parents, I mean my biological parents, telling me my name and what it meant. Can you believe Kumatora means 'bear-tiger'? Helluva of a weird pick, hahaha!"

"I dunno, I think it's cool, it sounds fierce!" Claus said.

"Hah, maybe they thought their baby needed something tough to survive the apocalypse. I guess I've always been an oddball, so it would be funny if I was just some normal name like Keiko or Kasumi."

"You're the best kind of oddball." Lucas said.

"Aww, thanks, kiddo. Anyway, I didn't get what words meant when they told me my name, so I just cried until I passed out, and that's it."

"I remember being really tired after I was born too." From what Mom and Dad had told Claus of the infancy he didn't remember, he'd actually been the baby that cried more, despite Lucas's reputation as a crybaby, one Lucas only earned once they were both toddlers. They thought it had something to do with him being a bundle of energy who learned to walk first and got himself hurt more, and since he got more easily bored, making him cry and throw tantrums since he hadn't started trying to act tough like Dad yet. "I can't remember anything else from being a baby either, just Mom and Dad telling us our names...Mom said she wanted us to grow up to be kind like Dad, but then Dad said 'oh, I was gonna say the same thing about you', and that was kind of funny, honestly." Claus said.

"Yeah...and they said they wanted us to support each other and do things together we couldn't do alone." Lucas said with a smile.

"So much for making 'em proud, then, 'cause I sure haven't done that." Claus said.

"That's not true, you always stood up for me, and even when you were gone, I couldn't have done any of the things I did on my own if I didn't remember how you always believed in me."

"Except when I didn't." He hadn't believed in him being able to help him fight the Mecha Drago.

"That was only one time!" He said that, but something about how he said it and the look on his face made it sound like a lie, like there had actually been another time, and not just one of their trivial childhood arguments.

"I know, but I still don't like it..." Or how in his absence, Lucas's memory of him had outdone the real him in supporting him. "Wait, we were talking about you, sorry!" He said looking at Kumatora and trying to change the subject.

"It's fine, kiddo, I got plenty of time. You really did help him out, y'know, even when you were gone. I've heard all kinds of good things about you."

"You have, huh? Well, thanks...I've heard good things about you, too, since Grandpa was friends with the Magifolk and they talked about you." He didn't miss how she cringed at the word 'was'. "They didn't talk much about when you were a baby, though, probably 'cuz they made up the part about your mom and dad being the king and queen of Osohe. I know you don't remember much, but did Grandpa tell you anything about what really happened back then?"

"Yeah, he did. He talked about what my biological mom and dad were up to before I was born, too: they were part of the White Ship group too. They wanted to give me a safe place to live, especially once they found out about my powers. They kicked in a lot earlier than with you two, I was breathing PK Fire and crying PK Freeze when I threw tantrums, hehehe."

"For real?! Grandpa said Mom could use her powers sooner than we could, too, they just weren't that strong until she was a teenager...were yours like that too?" Claus said.

"I'm lucky they were, or else I probably woulda burned their whole apartment down. Not like it mattered, though, they couldn't afford it anyways, and just having powers at all meant the feds came after us..."

"Why'd they do that when you were just a baby? Even with Mom, they waited until she was thirteen..." Lucas said.

"I don't know, they must've been getting more desperate. I wasn't born until decades after your mom, and from what I heard, Eagleland was a dying empire lashing out at everything it could until it took the whole damn world down with it."

"I still can't believe they were so horrible they'd kidnap a baby..." Lucas said.

"'Course not, you weren't there. I was, but I don't remember either, so I still have to go off other people's word...Tessie said my biological parents died protecting me."

"Please don't feel guilty, it's not your fault!" Lucas said.

"That's the thing: I don't. I don't remember a bit of it happening or what it was like after, and I don't feel bad that it was 'cause of me or even sad they're gone. I guess babies are just selfish, needy lil' fuckers, haha..."

She said it like a joke, but Claus couldn't help picking up that same bitter tone he used himself.

"Don't say that, Kuma! I'm sure you loved your birth parents too just like any other baby. Grandpa said you cried a lot on the boat after they passed away. If you're not feeling bad now, that's just 'cause you've healed, and it's not your fault you didn't get any more time to get to know them better...and I know you don't want them to replace Ionia and the rest of the Magifolk. I think they'd be happy you found other people who took care of you after they were gone, they wouldn't want you to feel bad about what happened to them." Lucas said.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, I'm fine, really." Or she wasn't, but didn't want to have this conversation in front of Claus. Maybe she didn't want to bother him, or he just wasn't close enough for her to open up like that the way Lucas was, or both. "Besides, at least I'm not getting a bunch of fucked up memories back like all the other adults in town, doesn't that make me lucky?"

"I don't know about that, just 'cause you don't feel bad about your past doesn't mean everything's fine, you had more bad stuff happen in the present." Claus said. He'd know, after all. Ten years of peace and love on planet Earth then three of hell. He doubt he'd feel any better if he started all this at fifteen instead of ten, especially if he lost his whole family. "It must feel bad not being like the other grown-ups, too...yeah, they went through all that awful stuff, but at least they were in the same boat, right? They can relate to each other about it now, but you can't, and you're not like us and the other kids either since you didn't grow up in Tazmily, and there's no one else who was raised by the Magifolk like you." Stuck between generations.

"Fine, so I don't fit in, so what? What else is new?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I-"

"Calm down, kiddo, it's fine, I'm not gonna get mad-"

"I don't fit in either! I used to, but then they turned me into a chimera, and then I was the commander, and now I'm back, but I'm too different, and everyone else is different too, nothing's like it used to be! And everything we used to have was made up too, so I don't know what to do...I don't know if I can be normal again, but if I can't, and you can't, then...can we just be oddballs together?" He said offering her a handshake. There was still some sick, selfish part of him jealous that she 'stole' his role supporting Lucas, but the rest of him saw a kindred spirit.

"Hah, sure, kiddo." She said with a genuine smile and shook it with a strong grip.

He hoped so badly that what he said had made a difference somehow.

"Normal is lame, anyways, you're different in the coolest ways!" He smiled too.

The face in the mirror almost looked like his again now that his eyes matched. He visited the little Drago that same day as soon as Dr. Andonuts let him go after the surgery.

She wasn't so little anymore. She was around two thirds as big as her mama now, and at this rate it would only be a few more years before she grew the same size, maybe even bigger.

"Hi...do you remember me? I'm Claus...we used to play together a few years ago..." He approached her cautiously on the rocky Drago Plateau, keeping a good distance. His short sleeves were just long enough to cover his metal shoulder, but not so long that they emphasized his missing arm. He wondered how it had tasted for the Mecha-Drago. Probably awful, since Dragos are herbivores and can't digest meat, maybe the mama Drago was throwing it up while Dad was on his way there. Killing left a bad taste in his mouth too.

"It's okay, she's not scared." Lucas said standing next to the Drago, which approached Claus too and looked down at him curiously. She sniffed the air once she was a few feet away, Dragos had a very good sense of smell.

Her voice was deep and rumbly like her mom's, but it wasn't a growl, more like a coo despite the depth and the way it rattled his bones. Most villagers got intimidated by that part, which added to Dad's bold reputation since his family was willing to befriend Dragos despite that, and made them think Grandpa was a little off his rocker for doing the same despite being even less able to defend himself against such fearsome creatures. She didn't scare Claus, though. She used to be more like a bird chirping and squawking...Dr. Andonuts did say birds evolved from dinosaurs...and Porky had been shocked to learn they had bird-like feathers, unlike all the inaccurate featherless dinosaurs from Jurassic Park, which he'd forced Claus to watch, of course. Some twisted joke about the Chimeras including Claus being his way of turning fantasy into reality.

('Is that really you? You smell different, what happened?')

"Puberty, I guess. It sure happened to you, you got so big! Wait...why aren't you mad or scared after I hurt your mom?" From what his empathic senses picked up she was actually happy instead.

Her answer was to lick him with her huge tongue and cover his shirt and face with slobber.

"Stop, you're getting me all wet, hahaha!"

"Like I told you, she just wants to play again. She knows her mom was sick and acting strange so she knows why you did that, she's not mad."

She cooed again. ('Let's play that game where you ram into me again!')

"Okay, if you say so!"

He backed up so he could get a running start, then shoulder bashed her feathery torso with his right shoulder, making himself stagger backwards feeling the recoil where skin and muscle met metal. Then, a moment later, she groaned in feigned pain and fell over sideways pretending he'd knocked her over just like her mom used to. He'd missed these stupid kid games so much.

('That felt weird, your shoulder sure is hard! It almost hurt!')

"Oh...I should probably show you, huh..." Claus sighed, then pulled back his short right sleeve that had been hanging loosely in the air so it no longer covered his metal shoulder and the socket where the prosthetic arm used to go. "They rebuilt me too just like they did with your mom. I must smell like metal, right? That's why."

She got back on her two feet despite her small wing-like arms, a feat achieved thanks to her tail pushing her back up off the ground in combination with her legs. Then she stepped closer and squinted down at his shoulder with her two red eyes.

Another, more concerned sounding coo. ('Does it hurt for you like with Mama? Is it making you act strange and attack everything?') The Mecha-Drago hadn't quite attacked everything, though. Despite all the claw marks in the cliffside, she never hurt her daughter.

"It used to, but I'm better now, I won't hurt anyone anymore. But it still hurts a little." The soreness in his shoulder had gotten better since he discarded the too-heavy metal arm, though its absence came with its own balance issues. Most of the time his pain was small enough to fade into the background if he didn't get a headache or migraine.

Then she made a sad, low rumble. ('Oh...') She sat down and curled up on the ground putting her head there for him to pet, like she knew it would make him feel better.

"Don't be sad, I feel fine since you're so big and fluffy." He leaned over letting himself rest his head and arm on her back and sink into the feathers. "I missed you too, y'know..." How long had it been since those carefree days where he took this warmth and comfort for granted? He probably couldn't ever go back to that kind of innocence and ignorance...

But it was good to have friends again.

Chapter Text

Claus tried playing with the other kids again too, not just the Drago. The problem was that they weren't ten anymore, and it was awkward breaking the ice after all this time. It wasn't that they pushed him away, Fuel and Nana and the others were all nicer than he expected. The issue was with him, not them. The Commander had hardly been taught to socialize.

He was good at video games, though...Porky had brought back some from the 90s of Eagleland like Sonic and Mario among others. It was fun having the sassy blue hedgehog spin dash through those loop-de-loops or get carried through the air by Nichol controlling the cute yellow fox with helicopter tails, or taking turns playing as the red and green plumbers whenever one of them lost a life. Again, Porky seemed to miss that perhaps there was a message there besides entertainment, with the villain being an industrialist trapping animals in machines and making polluting chemical plants...of course, Porky would also say that any anti-capitalist themes were hypocritical if made by people who made these games to make money...

The commander hadn't enjoyed video games much. It wasn't just because of the emotional numbness, but because the few times Porky insisted he play with him were miserable. He had to carefully only barely lose to him, since if he won, Porky would be furious, and if he let him win by too much, Porky would be able to tell. Most of the rest of the time, the commander was too busy with all the tasks assigned to him to have any time to entertain himself. He wasn't supposed to want to in the first place. But as it turned out, it was actually kind of fun playing with people who weren't sore losers.

It would have been more fun if there wasn't another problem: every second wasted entertaining himself meant less time to make up for everything he'd done wrong. He would've liked to help Fuel rebuild those houses, the only problem was that child labor was now illegal...

Which was a good thing. Obviously.

It just meant they had to find something else to do instead. He and Fuel had always been the more outdoorsy types, so Fuel hadn't picked up video gaming like Nichol, not that Lighter could afford it anyways. He'd rather go back to playing the way they used to, but some things from when they were ten didn't work so well anymore...like the wrestling, play fighting with sticks, any sort of roughhousing. It wasn't that he wasn't in shape for them, quite the contrary. It was just...well.

Reasons.

People said he'd get better in time. He tried to believe it. After a month, he was starting to believe the meds did at least something, but his worst nights weren't any better, they were just marginally less often, and the baseline misery was ever so slightly lighter. But he still needed something to fill his time besides sitting with his thoughts.

Distracting himself with the farm chores stopped being an option too since Dad insisted he do them all himself to make up for letting Lucas do some when he wasted so much of his time looking for him.

"Wait, what do you mean you had to do more of the chores because Dad was away?" Claus asked one day by the now-rebuilt sheep shed.

"It wasn't that bad. It's nice helping the sheep, and it kept me busy so I didn't have to think about stuff as much."

"You too..?" Lucas always used to be the dutiful child compared to him, but not like this. It was just that Claus got bored more easily, and since Lucas was such a sap, it made him so happy when Mom and Dad were proud of him doing his chores and cleaning his dishes and eating all his food. Not to distract himself.

"I wish you'd take it easy more. I know you want to help, and that's nice, but remember, it's the Pigmasks who taught you to work yourself to the bone like that, and all the stuff you did for them wasn't your fault."

"Even if that's true, I can't just act like it never happened. I can't just go back to being lazy and carefree like nothing's wrong, there's so much wrong and I can't just unlearn it. What Mom and Dad went through, and everything in New Pork too...so I have to do something about it." He was reminded of the myth of Pandora's box. Dr. Andonuts had mentioned a couple of those old Greek myths like the one about Icarus, and this one was about blaming women for all the world's problems, but more importantly that trying to slam the lid on those problems and stay blissfully ignorant only kept them from having hope too. At least if they knew what was wrong, they could do something about it.

So if he couldn't work, and playing felt selfish, then what?

He could study.

He'd been a poor student when he was little. His handwriting was bad, he had a hard time paying enough attention to read long books, and he wasn't the best at math either, but it didn't mean he wasn't a curious child. He had that insufferable 'why' phase in his terrible twos and beyond, and then there was all the wilderness he explored and all the bugs he put in jars. As the commander, he did what he was told, but not necessarily well, much to Porky's frustration. It didn't help that they had him learning things he wasn't motivated to learn like how to lead armies and hurt people. At least now that he could choose what he wanted again, he could spend his time learning something that could help people. He tried not to blame his past self for 'wasting' his time having fun...it wasn't like he'd done anything wrong yet, and the kid he was should've gotten to keep acting his age...but it was hard not to wish he'd been a better student back then.

One thing he learned was that the whole education system had been in a pitiful state in the Pigmask years. He wasn't the only kid putting in child labor hours, though Fuel, Angie, Nichol, and Richie's part time work at Caroline's bakery and Thomas's bazaar was much lighter than the Commander's exhausting shifts. They'd even let Lucas into the Clayman factory despite that kind of work being a lot more dangerous than baking or managing a shop.

Those with money had better luck. Ollie, one of the young adults in town, managed to go to college without taking on crushing debt thanks to his dad Pusher being rich thanks to all the money Pusher got from endorsing the Pigmask agenda, but most people couldn't afford it. Apparently, there were public schools in New Pork City, but they were poorly funded, just like they had been in Eagleland, and they never got around to making one in Tazmily. It was probably for the best the other kids didn't have to deal with the Pigmasks trying to teach them their system somehow was fair and Porky was a benevolent ruler...

Dr. Andonuts was happy to help teach him about science and math, and Leder said he would've liked to help educate the children of Tazmily about the world's real history, but he was too busy with politics now to spare much time. Thankfully, he left plenty of books behind: he used to double as the town librarian when he wasn't ringing the bell, and his basement was full of books the villagers had hidden with information about the old world. There were even some he'd written himself during his long vow of silence when he had nothing better to do.

The sheer scale of it all boggled his mind. To think time went back fourteen billion years since the Big Bang, several billion since the start of life on Earth, a few hundred million since dinosaurs like the Dragos evolved, hundreds of thousands since humans evolved from apes long after most of the dinosaurs went extinct from a meteorite, and thousands of years since they formed into civilizations, maybe over ten thousand depending on how you defined civilization.

And yet they'd ruined it all in just a few centuries.

"Can we really fix this?" He asked him one day in the lab. The glimpses of the devastated earth he'd seen from orbit back then only bothered him more the more he understood just how much was lost. All the species that went extinct.

"As a scientist, I rarely say anything for certain, but with the physics-defying powers of the Dark Dragon in the picture, I won't rule it out either. We can do our part to help restore the ecosystems, too. We have tools like cloning to bring back extinct species, and then there's genetically modified crops that can better survive the harsh environments out there while the Dragon tries to heal them to something more habitable."

"Didn't scientists in the past have the same kind of technology? And they still failed to stop the world from getting this way, and fixing it must be even harder than keeping it from getting so bad in the first place..."

"Yes, some of it, but the situation is different now. I don't want to be arrogant and put myself so far above environmentalists of the past, but I don't have to: their failures weren't all their own fault, they were working with one metaphorical hand behind their back. You see, they were greatly restrained by the politicians of their time not giving them the funding and resources they needed to make the changes necessary to stop climate change, like stopping corporations from polluting the environment in the first place. Now that we're trying to make a better system, we shouldn't have as many obstacles they did."

"Okay, but there were nine billion people back then, right? It was billions of people's pollution that messed up the earth, and we've only got what, a few million in New Pork? How could we fix a problem on a scale that big when there's so few of us?" He thought of how small Tazmily was compared to New Pork City, the green dots the Nowhere Islands were compared to Earth, and the speck the Earth was in the vast universe. It was easy to feel small nowadays.

"Well, first of all, that means there aren't billions of people's carbon emissions polluting the planet any more. Of course, I don't want to imply it wasn't possible to prevent the worst of global warming even with a population that size. It wasn't inevitable. It was only because of the system that we couldn't...and second of all, we're not alone. We've found evidence of more survivors beyond these islands."

"Wait, we have?! Since when?!"

"Since a few days ago. Didn't I tell you about the surveys with the Sky Runners the other night? Ah, it must have slipped my mind...I haven't gotten around to making a public announcement yet since I don't have enough information, and I don't want to get people's hopes up on how many might have survived."

"Just knowing there's anyone is enough! I thought we really were the last..."

"Well, just going by what the Tazmily villagers remember, it can't be any higher than in the millions. A few hundred million, at absolute most, scattered across the world in the places least scarred by the climate collapse and the war, and that's before taking into account how many might have died in nearly two decades since." Claus wondered what Kumatora thought about her age being a signpost for the time since the world ended. "It can't have been easy avoiding famine with all those clouds of nuclear ash. Never mind radiation poisoning, or heatstroke, or dehydration, or all the storms wreaking havoc, or...ah, I'm sorry, I'm saying too much, aren't I?" He said while looking at Claus's face which was probably turning green with how sick he felt.

"Just a little bit, yeah."

Another awkward silence with tension he could cut with a knife, not that he did that anymore.

"But let's look on the bright side, all that was before the Dragon woke up! Talking about her was going to be my 'third of all'. I'm sure their struggles won't be nearly as harsh now with all she's doing to heal the earth's ecosystems."

"I guess they owe Lucas a favor, huh?" But not him. If it had been him...

"I'd say we all do, my boy."

"Yeah..."

Maybe he was worrying too much over nothing.

"But even if she's fixing everything thanks to him, who says we won't screw it all up again? The Magifolk said people sealed the Dark Dragon away a long time ago when they couldn't coexist with her anymore, what if someone does it again, and then she can't fix things for us?"

"It's not as if we'd sit by and let that happen."

"Yeah, I know Lucas wouldn't let it, but what about once we're all gone? ...Once Lucas is gone?" It hurt to say, but dying twice taught him no one lives forever. Well, except Porky, maybe. He hoped with all his heart that Lucas would live a happy life and be an old man someday, but eventually he wouldn't be here anymore. "Then what?"

"Then we'll have to set a good example for those who come after us. You don't need to worry about that so soon, you're still young."

"I know, but what if we make things good enough that later on, people forget why capitalism was so bad in the first place?"

"That's what history is for, isn't it? Besides, even if future generations don't live through the harsh conditions we have-and I hope they don't-I doubt that after experiencing a better life they would willingly go back to what we had."

"Yeah, well, even if they wouldn't, how do we know we can make things better in the first place? Porky said socialism failed every time it's been tried..."

"He's hardly a trustworthy fellow, is he?"

"I know, but all the countries that tried it collapsed in the end, didn't they?"

"My boy, all countries collapsed period, socialist or not. That doesn't mean they failed solely because of their own flaws. After all, did Tazmily?"

"No, it was because Fassad showed up and-oh..." Claus's eyes widened, even the robotic one.

"Exactly. Just like the environmentalists, they didn't get to succeed or fail on their own merits. Now, I'm no expert on this, but from what I know, every socialist country in history has been sabotaged by much of the capitalist world one way or another."

"Like what Colonel-I mean, Clive said about Vietnam, and Korea, and all those other places..."

"Yes, like them. If they were doomed to fail, why didn't countries like my own and the USE simply let them? If capitalism was truly superior to socialism, that would've been the best way to prove that hypothesis. The fact they went so far to bring them down only gives more evidence to the contrary. Then after all they launched these brutal wars and sanctions that impoverished those countries, they would go on to say 'look how poor communism made them!'!" Sounded like the kind of insidious propaganda Fassad would say.

"God, that's so fucking stupid, who would fall for that?"

"I did, even though people call me a genius...I suppose it goes to show there's a difference between knowledge and wisdom, and knowing a great deal doesn't keep you from letting yourself be tricked," He said shaking his head in shame.

"Really? But I thought you only worked for Porky since he forced you to, you didn't agree with him."

"That's true, I didn't, but remember: before he kidnapped me, I lived in Foggyland in the 90s, and I still fell for all the propaganda of the time. There's quite a range of political opinions, you see: just because I was never like Porky doesn't mean I was always this left-wing. I used to think I was better off not being involved with politics, that positive change could only come from within the system and socialism would somehow be even worse. It was only after I spent time here that I saw how technology alone wouldn't fix all of our problems as long as the rich controlled society."

"I think I get the idea...so you're saying now that we don't have to worry about the Pigmasks messing things up like they did in Tazmily, things should be better? I don't know, though, I don't think what we had was gonna last even if they didn't make it worse...the grownups couldn't just go on forgetting everything forever..."

"In that case, they still could have regained their memories with the Egg of Light once things did go wrong, and who could say what would happen then? Maybe Tazmiliy would have had a better future from then on once they could learn from their past."

"I wish that could've been what happened...then Mom would still be alive, and you never would've gotten taken away from your time and Jeff..."

"Well, there's no point dwelling on what ifs."

"I know, I just don't know if we can ever make everything right, the way it should be. I know Porky lied about all kinds of stuff, and I don't believe him, but I saw how bad it is out there, and in Nowhere too..."

"We don't have to make a utopia, all we have to do is make our society and the earth better than it is now, little by little. Honestly, I don't think a true utopia has ever existed or ever will, but life doesn't have to be perfect to be better. Did you know 'utopia' literally translates to 'no place'? That word is Greek, too."

"Huh...and we built Tazmily on the Nowhere Islands...Mapson said they were called that since people couldn't find them without the Egg, but it's still really weird."

"Hah, it's just another one of life's ironic coincidences."

"I guess so...thanks for telling me all this stuff, doc."

Their talk made his shoulders just a little lighter, despite how impossible the work ahead of them seemed.

A week from then when the first refugees from outside set foot on Nowhere, they called these islands a paradise.

Why wouldn't they, when it was so full of life and hope compared to what they came from? He'd never forget the haggard looks of the survivors who never got to cleanse their memory of suffering in that hellish world. Who'd only just now escaped it. He felt worst of all for the kids who'd been born into that world after the end and never knew anything better until now.

Dad, Grandpa, and all the villagers who remembered were haunted, like they'd seen their past selves in the mirror. Some of them asked anyone they met from the outside world for any news about their missing loved ones, those who they didn't know for sure were gone but had no way of proving they were alive either. Either to be reunited with them, or at least have the closure of knowing for certain they were dead. Sadly, most of them got no proof either way. It was difficult to keep track of who had died in an apocalypse where the dead vastly outnumbered the living and those left were scattered and isolated.

But one villager 'lucky' enough to get such confirmation was Isaac, who found out for certain his mother was dead after all. Passed away from famine sometime after the nuclear conflict. He didn't take it well.

It occurred to Claus they were both the only villagers who ever became Pigmasks, and the only Pigmasks who were once villagers. He didn't take these things well either.

So when Isaac had barely come out of his house near the woods for over a week, Claus knocked on the door.

"Hello? It's me, Claus. People are getting worried about you, you know."

"Whatever you're going to say, kid, save it. I've already heard it all from everyone else who's come here pitying me," he said through the door. "Not like we ever got along that well anyways." Claus had socialized more with kids his age when he was little, not the adults, and definitely not a grumpy loner of a grown-up like him.

"I know we weren't that close, and I'm not gonna say I know everything you're going through, but I know what it's like feeling bad about working for the Pigmasks..." And he knew what it was like being miserable and holed up like this, that had been him not so long ago. Some days it still was him.

"That's different, you didn't choose to join them like I did."

"Yeah, but you didn't stay with them long enough to actually do anything wrong. Luke said you quit when they told you to defend the Empire Porky Building from him, so you did the right thing in the end, right? You didn't hurt people the way I did..."

"If he told you that, he must have told you all the cruel, stupid things I said to him, right? That's more than wrong enough. Then we found out Porky could've destroyed the world, so half the town hates me for selling them out, and they got every right-"

"What do you mean, you said something cruel? He just said you told him in the factory that you were gonna join the Pigmasks, and he tried convincing you not to, but you didn't listen, then he talked to you again in the city, and that time he got you to quit."

"Then he lied to you."

"He what? No, Lucas never lies..."

"Lucas...so you've finally decided to live in these new times, huh?" Isaac said while a large red machine churned behind him and another one did on the other side of the room. "Well, good luck with your new part-time job. While you're walking around here all lazy-like, I'm gonna shoot straight to the top and become someone important. I might even get to be a Pigmask soon!"

Lucas said nothing, he just stared in disapproval. He was used to being picked on by now. Boney growled.

"Oh, hey there, Lucas! I was just talking about old times with Isaac. He's an important guy nowadays, you know," Butch said sarcastically.

"Lucas. You're the dear and charming guest that Master Porky is looking for?!" He couldn't believe the psychic fighting the Pigmasks was really Lucas until he saw him with his own eyes. Wasn't Lucas supposed to be a coward? Frankly, he didn't want to believe it. Why was he looking at him like that? He didn't recognize him at all...oh, right. The helmet. "Oh, it's me! Isaac! I'm a big shot now," he said, despite the fact he was wearing the pink uniform of a Pigmask grunt. All his life he'd wanted to matter. "But, Lucas. I didn't know you were anyone special! If you do anything to defy Master Porky...then you and me'll be enemies!" He said trying to convince himself.

"Stay out of my way," Lucas said in that tired annoyed voice like he'd had a very long day. "They must've not told you the horrible things they're doing, but they torture animals by turning 'em into Chimeras. They're the ones who made that Drago kill Mom. They turned Claus into the Commander and forced him to fight for them, and they could destroy the world if they make him pull the last Needle. I'm gonna get him back, and you're not gonna stop me."

This time he was the one left speechless. He didn't want to believe it, but Lucas never lied.

"I knew he was right about you, too, because I'd seen you once just before you went to that temple..." Isaac said after explaining.

"Attention, new recruits, your Commander is present!" The Pigmask Captain in a blue uniform doing their orientation said, and everyone promptly saluted the Commander, including Isaac. Some Pigmask Majors in green uniforms followed the Commander in rank and file order with a Colonel wearing the typical white uniform and cape at the Commander's side.

"He looks awfully young to be a commander, he's so short..." Isaac said. It wasn't just that, though. Even with the helmet covering his hair and one eye, there was something youthful and eerily familiar about the Commander's face. He even had freckles. Some of the other recruits murmured in agreement.

"I know, right? Just look at him-"

"No disrespecting a superior officer! Our commander is fully qualified, and you will only speak to him when given permission, is that clear?! That'll be extra shifts for the both of you for the next week!"

"I'm sorry, sir!" They both said simultaneously. Isaac cringed, he'd worked so hard to get this far and already he was screwing it up? That was just like him. But unlike the other guy, he couldn't resist squinting up instead of continuing to bow in shame, to get a look at that eerily familiar face again.

Was it just his imagination, or was the Commander's face going pale looking at him too?

"I'm sorry they disturbed you, sir!" The captain said, probably sweating as much as he was under that helmet. At least he had one, the new recruits like Isaac still hadn't been issued their uniforms yet.

"They didn't," The Commander lied in a monotone, yet youthful voice, and so familiar.

No...it couldn't be...could it? But he was dead! And Claus was the last kid who'd act like that. If it was him, then...what the fuck were they all doing here? Who had forced him to become their commander, through what inhumane methods?

It couldn't possibly be him.

"That's good to know, Commander. Everyone, wish him luck on his mission to pull the Needle at Chupichupyoi Temple!" What was all this about needles? An army commander's job wasn't sewing...this must've been something they hadn't gotten briefed on yet.

"GOOD LUCK, SIR!" The others said in unison saluting again.

But he said nothing. He just kept staring at the commander's-no, that boy's face staring back at him, until the kid forced himself to look away to focus on his mission.

Then he did the same.

"I recognized you, and I did nothing!"

"It's not like you could've saved me even if you tried."

"So what? It would've been better than just standing there and letting you march off to fight your brother, and if we'd all done something, then it would be different."

"Well, I'm glad you didn't, it just would've gotten you hurt or worse...I recognized you, too, you know. I couldn't quite remember, but you looked really familiar...but I just ignored it, like I did every time I saw Lucas."

"That's different, you didn't choose to be programmed like that."

"Yeah, well...you still did the right thing in the end. I think I get it now, you didn't just quit because Lucas told you to, it's 'cause you knew I was the commander."

"Doesn't change the fact I joined 'em in the first place. Now everyone in town knows I'm a sellout, and I didn't even stay in the army long enough to get to know any of the rest of those poor suckers," So he didn't fit in either group, just like him. Well. Claus had to count his blessings, he still had his friends and family.

"That doesn't mean you couldn't make friends with any of them now, it's not like they're gonna judge you when they used to be with the army too."

"Why would I want to spend time around people who've done even worse? I don't mean you, I mean people who chose it like I did but were there longer..."

"I get that, I still avoid most guys from the army too, they bring back too many bad memories," Claus said. "But...uh..." What was he supposed to say now? Claus looked around, not sure what to do. At least it was a nice day outside in the forest.

"Wait, I got it! Even if you don't wanna talk to people, you could still get out more."

"Do you have any idea how many people told me that already?"

"I know you've heard this a lot, but it's different with me. I get what it's like being down in the dumps, so I can say from experience it really does help! Just having something to do gets your mind off everything. You don't just have to go taking hikes, either, you could start doing your old job again." Before the army and before the factory, Isaac was a lumberjack, and one of the town's doctors with the herbal medicine he gathered in the wild. "Y'know, your antidotes really helped Dad out in the forest fire with those snakes running around, he owes you one. So why not try it out again? Then you could help out around town and maybe people won't be mad at you anymore."

"Don't you know why I had to stop and switch to factory work in the first place? It wasn't just because I needed to make money, the forest got too dangerous with all those chimeras out there."

"Yeah, but the doc says we're making a lot of progress relocating and rehabilitating the more aggressive Chimeras, so it's getting safer every day. You could even help people scout out the wild and clean up all the messes the Pigmasks made." And work off that guilt, just like he was trying to.

"Y'know, thinking about it, it's the Pigmasks' fault I lost my old job in the first place. If they hadn't released all those Chimeras into the wild, then I wouldn't have had to stop being a lumberjack, and I wouldn't have had to take that damn factory job, and I only signed up because I was sick of the job...they ruined my life, and I walked right into their arms with a smile!"

"I've done a lot of things that looked stupid in hindsight, too..."

"You're a kid, you're supposed to do stupid things. No offense."

"Yeah, I guess so, haha..."

He didn't know what to say next through the still closed wooden door.

"...I'll think about it, alright? Now scram, and tell the others to quit buggin' me."

"Thanks, that's all I needed to hear!" Claus ran off with a smile. For once, he was useful to someone...

That was why eventually, he gave in to Kumatora asking him to let her teach him how to use his PSI again. He'd hardly used it at all since his revival except for minor feats of telekinesis to compensate for having only one arm, how could he after everything he'd done to prove he didn't deserve this kind of power?

But he could use it to do more than just hurt.

"Wow, thanks, Commander, I didn't know you could heal people!" Said an ex-Pigmask in a bed with an arm now unnecessarily in a sling in the building once known as 'East Tazmily Training Grounds' that had replaced Butch's pig farm after he sold all his pigs to them.

This was one of those days where he didn't even bother correcting them. If it was someone he didn't even know and probably wouldn't talk to again, sometimes the effort of getting them to call him his name caused more frustration than just going along with it.

"Call him his name if you don't want your arm broken again, buster." But that didn't mean Kumatora couldn't do it for him.

"Oh, right, sorry, Claus!" He sputtered.

"Haha, don't worry, she's just joking," Claus said. Or was it him he was afraid of? Surely the ex-soldiers would get over the fear of him trained into them eventually.

"Good job healing him, kiddo. I can take over if you have any trouble, but I don't think I'll have to, you're getting the hang of Lifeup."

"Why is it that you didn't heal people when you were the commander, though?" The man said.

"Fassad didn't train me to use it much...he used to let me use it early on, but he didn't like how I was being too nice to some of the soldiers and injured Chimeras, so he focused more on other stuff after that. I guess he thought if I healed people too much, I'd get attached to them and start acting like a person again." All he and Porky ever taught him was how to hurt and be hurt. "Doesn't help that I can't heal my prosthetics, either, so he thought teaching me PK Thunder was more important."

"Sounds like he was a crappy teacher, then. Ionia always said keeping yourself safe comes first, and he taught you how to master PK Thunder even though all your metal parts can't handle getting shocked. I never met him when I was a kid since he went missing before I was born, but Ionia told me he was an asshole even compared to Aeolia, he just didn't give a crap about humans. The rest of the Magifolk still didn't know he'd stab 'em in the back, though...I still don't get it, what the fuck did he get out of it? Didn't he know he was gonna die anyways if he helped Porky wake up the Dragon? But he still fought back whenever we were beating the shit out of him, and he wouldn't say anything when I asked why he did it."

"Couldn't he not talk ever since he fell off Thunder Tower? Porky had to get him an interpreter bot," Claus said.

"Doesn't matter, he had telepathy, so he never needed it except to hide his powers. Ugh, whatever, fuck all of this. I'm not gonna let him win by getting in my head making me wonder why he did it forever. I guess he felt like torturing monkeys and people for shits and giggles until it was his time to die. It's not like it matters now that he's dead."

"It's like you told me about Porky, it's okay to wonder or feel however you want about him..."

"...I did say that, huh?"

"That's what you taught me. You're a good teacher, and I'm glad you're still here."

"I guess I'm alright, I did learn from the best. Thanks, kiddo." She smiled and ruffled his hair the same way she did with Lucas sometimes. "But if you think I'm so good at it, then you better take my advice and learn more than just how to heal!" She said teasingly while giving him a noogie.

"Haha, stop!" He said. "I don't know, though, I don't wanna use PSI to fight anymore, I always make things worse."

"That's 'cuz you were taught the wrong way, dummy! Look, it's fine if you wanna live a peaceful life from now on, but what if you get in an accident, or some chimera goes wild? Knowing how to defend yourself could save your life someday. Or someone else's life."

"Okay, fine, I'll try it," he said with a sigh. "So, uh...how're the salvage efforts goin'?"

"They're going alright. Latest thing those Navy SQUEALs found in the castle was all of Lord Passion's sheet music, and it was all waterlogged beyond fixing, obviously, but some of his instruments actually still worked after they dried them out. And get this: now he's teaching Nana all his songs on the piano!"

"Haha, really? Good for her...I guess he's got it all memorized even though the sheet music's gone. Wait, didn't she say she wanted to learn the trumpet instead?"

"That was three years ago, Lucas said she changed her mind, but she might pick it up again."

"Huh, I really need to catch up on everything. That reminds me, did you hear anything else about where the people of Osohe went after they left the islands?"

"Nah, not much we didn't already know. Them leaving the islands happened way back in medieval times, anyways, and I'll wish their descendants luck, but I'm not their princess." All they already knew was that the people of Osohe initially went to Dalaam, and some of them stayed there and coexisted with the kingdom that already existed rather than imposing their ways on them like some people. Apparently someone from there even had the prophecy about the 'Apple of Enlightenment' that predicted the Chosen Four journey. "I'm just some girl who got brought here as a baby, that's all. These islands are my home, not the castle or Eagleland."

"Yeah, I get it. I hope they're doin' alright, but I guess no one out there is really 'alright'..." Just barely surviving at best. Dalaam was between China's nuclear winters and India's deadly heat waves every summer. If only the two could balance out somehow. Even so, if there had been over a billion people in each of those places, surely at least some of them were surviving now there and in the lands between, right? "Never mind, all that stuff is too depressing, how about we talk about your whole journey instead? I mean how you, Luke, Duster, and Boney all met and teamed up to pull the Needles. They told me what was going on when I was the commander, but there's still a lot I don't know about what it was like for you guys."

He'd asked this kind of thing before, each time getting some more of those little details he'd missed.

And she told him more this time, too, but it still felt like there was something missing.

"Sounds like what you really wanna know is how Lucas felt about it, so you should ask him instead," she said. With the implication 'instead of going behind his back like this'...

It wasn't just with her either. He'd been asking Dad things about the last three years, too, not wanting to bother Lucas by making him retell all those details of Dad's neglect. Dad wasn't the only one who hadn't been treating Lucas right for the past three years, either, there was also how the rest of the village became more corrupt and started treating Lucas more like an outcast. All that talk about him being a crybaby. He knew the grownups had all been through hell, but that didn't excuse taking it out on Luke, their past wasn't his fault. And unlike Lucas, he didn't get that experience of that metaphor of the slowly boiling frog. It was a stupid metaphor, frogs were smart enough not to ignore a gradually worsening situation, they weren't like humans.

The worst part was he was a hypocrite.

"So, uh...I was talkin' to Isaac earlier, and he said something weird..." Claus said awkwardly when he was talking to Lucas later in the house. "He said you didn't tell me everything about when you talked to him in the factory, and later when you got him to quit. You didn't say how he said some mean stuff about you being lazy while he was gonna become a 'big shot', and you didn't say how you got mad at him at the city."

"I didn't think it was that important," Lucas lied.

"It's not just with him, either. You keep asking Dr. Andonuts or the Pigmasks what happened to me in the last three years or looking at their records instead of just asking me. You don't have to keep hiding stuff or talking to other people just 'cuz you're trying to not hurt my feelings..." Like he didn't trust him to not hurt himself again.

"Okay, I get it, but you're doing the same thing! You keep asking Dad and Kumatora what I've been through instead of me."

"I know, I know I'm being a hypocrite, but you've been through enough already, and I don't wanna make it worse by making you talk about it again. I get that's why you're doing this, too, but this all feels icky...we always used to share everything before I went missing. I miss that."

"Me too...I don't like doing this either, but I don't know what else to do."

"I don't want to hurt your feelings by saying too much...but I know you're not the Lucas I remember from three years ago anymore. I know you're stronger now, so you can take it, but I'm not used to that yet. So how about this, I'll tell you something if you tell me something."

"Okay...but who goes first?"

"It's my idea, so I should, but what do you wanna know?"

"I don't know, you can pick, just whatever you're most comfortable with." Of course, if it was something he was actually comfortable with, he would have said it already, but tiptoeing around things like this forever just made it worse. Like ripping off a bandage.

"Uh...then lemme think." If he had to pick something, then what...there was just so much to tell from his years as the commander. Most of it mundane, yet still miserable in its own way, the drudgery of those endless routines. Then there were those traumas that stood out. There were a lot of those in the time of Lucas's journey, not that he'd blame him of course.

Might as well start at the beginning.

"How about when we first met? I mean when we first met when I was the commander, when you tried to get on the airship..."

"That was after Fassad ordered the tower to be bombed since we blew up the generator, just to take us down with it, but then he slipped on his banana peel and fell off like an idiot, hahaha-sorry, I shouldn't laugh even if it's about him-"

"Nah, he totally deserves it. I saw it too, through the airship windows. I wasn't supposed to feel anything, but it was kinda cathartic, honestly."

"I can't believe they still fired on the tower anyways, even though he fell off...what if it had collapsed on top of him? And what about all the soldiers who were still in there?"

"It wasn't my idea!" Claus blurted out. "We were gonna wait until we got him to safety first, or what was left of him, since we thought he died from the fall, but Porky was on the comms with us ever since someone reported the tower was under attack, and he ordered the ship captain to bomb it anyways. But I should've stopped him instead of putting you in danger..."

"It didn't work that way, you couldn't go against his orders with all that programming in your head. You didn't know it was me anyways."

"But I did, I recognized you!"

"The rebels are trying to board the ship!" The Pigmask Captain flying the Porkship said.

"Ahahaha, those idiots just doomed themselves! Knock them off the ladder with your hack, agh-" Master Porky coughed over the intercom. "-lightning, Thunder Tower isn't the only way I can smite people like Zeus!"

The Commander walked to the doorway and looked down. The howling, cold wind blew at his fur coat and made him feel a chill on his unprotected lower face. The air was thin up here, but that wasn't why he suddenly struggled to breathe.

A red rope-like snake bit into the ladder, held tightly by a tall man with brown hair, whose limping left leg was held by a pink-haired young woman, and whose right leg was held by the Commander himself, and a dog was biting the Commander's pants for dear life-

[ERROR]

...What? The Commander knew what an identical twin was, but not that he had one. He had been reconstructed by Master Porky as the only human chimera, that was all he knew, he was one of a kind. Or he was supposed to be.

"Is that...?" The girl stared up at him with a strange shocked recognition in her green eyes like she too was seeing his resemblance to his doppelganger.

His mirror image said nothing, but stared up at him just as surprised. An inexplicable urge came to reach out a hand and help them climb up to safety, even though they were enemies, especially the boy and dog. Why would he want that? Master Porky would be furious if he aided the enemy.

Where was he again?

The Commander forced himself to look away and step out of sight of them before they confused him any more.

"What are you doing, you stupid robot, I just ordered you to attack! Stop short circuiting like this all the time! Ugh, for-" Again Master Porky hacked and coughed. "Forget it, just shake them off instead!"

"Yes, sir!" The ship captain said.

But if they fell from this height, they would surely die. Why didn't he want that? He looked out the window again when they inevitably fell.

Why was he crying? He didn't like seeing himself fall, he didn't want to die, not like he did before when-

[ERROR]

Why did he let his brother die just like he did with Mom-

[REBOOTING]

"Somewhere deep down I knew it was you, and I still didn't do anything!"

"But you did! You didn't listen when he told you to attack us..."

"Oh..." He hadn't? "No, you don't get it, I wasn't choosing to disobey him, it's just because I forgot 'cuz I was confused."

"Maybe that's just how you had to think of it to keep yourself safe," Lucas said. "You did something, and it was more than you should've been able to, because you cared, and that saved our lives, since we wouldn't have been able to use our PSI to slow down everyone's fall if you knocked us out. I think you helped at Snowcap Mountain and Tanetane Island too. You could've helped the Steel Mechorilla fight us, and you could've finished us off after you zapped us, but you didn't. So, thanks for saving us..."

Claus tried not to cry.

"No, you're the one who saved me! I couldn't even remember you, but you were all I had left, you were the only thing keeping me from being a total monster..."

"You were never a monster," Lucas said so gently and gave him a hug.

"I killed people, Luke..." Claus cried into his shoulder as quietly as he could manage. "It wasn't just the Magifolk, but Pigmasks who disobeyed too, and chimeras he wanted put down..."

"You didn't have a choice doing that either. Dr. Andonuts said you were so nice at the start, you even pet the Chimeras. They had to make you act like a machine. They had to hurt you..." Lucas said obviously gritting his teeth holding back his anger.

"I know, but I still did it...don't those people deserve justice? What if it was us in their shoes, and we were kidnapped through time like the Pigmasks and some of them were villagers instead of us? Mom was a rebel in her time, what if she was like that as a Pigmask and I..."

Lucas just gently stroked his hair the same way Mom would.

"...The fact you're thinking that proves they couldn't take all the kindness out of you. You're still kind like Mom wanted you to be."

That just made him descend into hiccups and blubbering even faster. Lucas was so patient letting him cry it out.

"Thanks, Luke, I'm okay now..." Claus said a little while later after letting go and wiping his eyes. "I guess now it's my turn to ask you something...shit, I should've said this differently, I had something specific I wanted to ask you, but you let me pick what I wanted to say, that's not fair."

"It's okay, we can stop here if you want, don't force yourself."

"Well...do you not wanna say anything?"

"No, I can handle it."

"Okay...then I still have something I wanna ask, but if you don't wanna talk about that, you don't have to. You can talk about something else, or we can just stop like you said."

"No, it's fine, don't worry about it, it's not like we're keeping a score." But all he knew how to do these days was keep a score of all the times he'd let people down, all the revenge he couldn't have, all the redemption he could probably never earn. "Just ask whatever you wanna ask."

"Okay..."

Now he wasn't sure if he was ready to.

"It's about how I...died. Are you sure you're not mad at me for what I did? You said when we talked the day I came back that you didn't blame me for not trusting myself, but it's okay if you're angry, I'm angry at myself too for doin' it. I shoulda thought of how it would hurt you, and now that I'm doin' a little better, I'm mad I didn't give myself a chance..."

There was still something about that talk they'd had back then, and the conversations they'd had since, something that made him sure Lucas was still holding something back...he had to be, right? How couldn't he be upset?

"I know you're sorry 'bout everything, but you don't have to do anything more to make up for it right now, you already went and came back to life and that must've been hard enough. I just wish you hadn't had to be brought back in the first place. I know it was hard, but I wish you'd trusted yourself, and I wish you'd..." Lucas trailed off with a frown.

"Wish I'd what?"

"Never mind, forget it..." What was Lucas hiding? Despite both their psychic potentials being unlocked, he could tell far less of what his twin was thinking now. It was uncanny. Lucas had always been an open book, unable to lie even to the non-telepathic, and they'd never been able to hide anything from each other for long until becoming the Commander put up all these walls between them. Those had been torn down the moment the floodgates opened, so what was this? Was it because Lucas was different? Or was he the one who'd changed? "Just promise me you won't hurt yourself again..." Lucas said offering his left pinky again.

"You don't have to hide anything...please, just tell me..."

Lucas hesitated for a while too, like he too was pondering whether to rip off the bandage or not.

"You're only half right. I'm not angry, just sad, and it's not about you not trusting yourself. I don't blame ya for that, I wouldn't trust myself not to hurt you either if I was in your shoes and went through all that...I get why you were scared you'd hurt me, and I get why you just wanted the pain to end after it all came back, and you felt like you deserved it after everything Porky made you do...I think I probably would've done the same thing."

"But?"

Again the same hesitation.

"But why didn't you trust me? It's like I said back then, I was ready to get hurt to save you, and it worked, but you threw it away! Even if you went back to being under Porky's control, I would've kept fighting to save you, so why didn't you believe in me? I know the old me never could've done it, but I changed! You're the reason I changed, I worked so hard to be braver those three years just so I wouldn't let anyone down again like you and Mom!" Lucas struggled to hold back tears his face now full of guilt. "I'm sorry, I-"

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry! You're right, I should've believed in you! I always used to when we were little, but then I didn't when it really counted!" With the Drago and now this. "But I didn't know, Luke! I didn't know how much stronger you were now! I d-didn't know..." He said stuttering with hiccups and sobs. "But I should've known! Even when I didn't remember, I knew how strong you were as a rebel, and you and your friends even beat me once, part of me was even scared of you...and then I did remember, so why wasn't that enough?! It doesn't make any sense!"

"It's okay if you don't get it! You were really confused and scared, so you weren't thinking clearly, and you weren't there to see me for the last three years, so you couldn't have known..."

"But I should've, I just...when it was all coming back, it was too much, all I could think about was how I remembered you!" The Commander had never been able to fully connect the dots between his faint memories and the Lucas of the present. Claus in those few moments before the end only saw Lucas the crybaby, because how dare that machine in him make him see Lucas like a threat? "I just wanted to protect you! But I was wrong, you didn't need protecting, you got so much stronger and braver and I just got weaker, all I wanted to do was run away and make it stop hurting, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"But you chose to come back. You're still choosing to keep going, despite everything...doesn't that say something about you being brave too? I don't know if I could do that if I was in your shoes," He said with that same admiration he had when they were little...

"Oh..."

Claus hugged him and sobbed some more.

"It's okay, I forgive you, I'm not mad..." Lucas said while holding him gently.

He had to push down the urge to say he didn't deserve it. Who was he to question his judgement and spit on his attempt at kindness?

"Thank you...I love you so much..." Claus said amid more hiccups.

"I love you too."

They kept opening up little by little like that in the days to come, sometimes without him becoming as much of a mess. Difficult as it was, it took away that icky feeling of hiding things from each other, and that phantom weight on his right shoulder. Maybe Lucas was right, and just the fact he found a way to keep going said something about him.

He tried to believe it.

The new arm was lighter than the old one. It was built for comfort rather than maximizing strength, so Dr. Andonuts didn't build it with heavy metals and designed it to match the other's size and weight exactly. It had already been overdue for replacement even before he got rid of it and the two months that had passed since. Dr. Andonuts suggested making it look more human-like like he did with the eye, but Claus insisted he not bother, that would cross too much into the uncanny valley for his tastes, especially for a limb that still had no sense of touch.

"I have been working on designing touch sensors, but I'm not there yet, it may be a few more months. Alas, we've left the field too unexplored since Porky saw the lack of sensitivity as a benefit rather than a downside. I should at least be able to give it a basic sense of touch, heat, and pressure, but pain may be another story..."

"It's fine, it's better than nothing."

"Is it? Not so long ago, you preferred having only one arm to having an artificial one."

"It's different now, you made this one from scratch without Porky breathing down your neck, so it's easier for me to trust it'll do what I want." That wasn't the only reason, but he didn't want to go into detail about how his misery and anxiety and self doubt had somehow been even more crushing back then. It still set him a little off balance, ironically now because he'd just started to get used to the absence of an arm, but he'd get over it in time, and it no longer gave him that same ache in the shoulder. It did feel nice no longer being handicapped.

"Just let me know if you have any issues with it, you can always take it off again."

"Yeah, I know...thanks for everything, doc, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"No need to be too grateful, replacing your arm doesn't put me anywhere close to making up for everything."

"I don't mean just the arm or the meds. You told me all this cyborg stuff won't make me a monster, and you're helping out other chimeras, too, and you told me the world isn't doomed...I used to feel like everything was hopeless, but now I think I can keep going if things really can get better."

"Well, I'm glad I've been of some help, it's the least I can do after all I've done."

"I know, it's the same with me, I wanna help people too, that's why I'm trying to learn all this stuff..." He said, then took a moment to think. "...Do you think I could be a doctor too? Or a veterinarian? I know I'm not that smart, but it feels real nice healing people and animals..."

"I don't see why not. And don't underestimate yourself, I'm sure you could learn if you put your mind to it."

"Thanks, doc..." He said with a smile.

He kept studying in the days to come.

Surprisingly enough, the metal arm could be used to cast PSI too. He learned more from Kumatora about how to use his healing, and after a few weeks and two fevers, unlocked Lifeup Beta and Gamma, but PK Love and Thunder were still too much. On the other hand, she tried teaching him her PK Fire and Freeze like she'd been teaching Lucas earlier, and he could manage at least the basic PK Freeze Alpha so far. Then there was the telekinesis, which it turned out was the reason why they had survived an impossibly long fall both from the airship and the Empire Pork Building's elevator set to collapse beneath them by Porky. It could be used to levitate temporarily, slow down falls, and even jump in midair, since technically it was just using telekinesis on your own body, though it was harder than moving an object.

It came in handy in a way he never expected.

"So, what do you think of the new arm? Wanna chomp it off like your mom?" He said jokingly while flexing his right arm after another game of ramming into the teen Drago and her pretending to fall over. "Haha, just kidding, it would probably taste like tetanus."

She made another of those deep hums, but this time it sounded surprised, and not at him, since she was looking up at the sky at a few Balding Eagles circling overhead a little ways away above something below a cliff out of sight. ("What are they doing? Did they find something to scavenge?")

"I dunno, let's find out." He walked around some boulders and corners to reach another area of the plateau and listened to the Balding Eagles' thoughts.

A distant squawk. ("You sure we shouldn't eat it yet? Looks pretty dead to me.")

A few more squawks of disagreement. ("No, look, it's still twitching! It only just jumped, so let's wait longer. There's another human watching, and humans get mad if we eat one that's still alive.")

("Yeah, I'm with him, you're outvoted.") The third Balding Eagle squawked in agreement.

Then an annoyed squawk. ("But I'm hungry...")

"Wait, there's a human down there?!" Claus ran the rest of the way to the ledge and looked down. "Oh god, that guy's bleeding out, what happened to him?! Wait, did he jump?!" There didn't seem to be any other animals down there that could've caused such an injury, and it was easy for his thoughts to go to such dark places. He couldn't tell who it was from this far up since he couldn't quite see his face, but whoever it was either dead or would be soon. "Fuck fuck fuck, what do I do?!" He tried not to hyperventilate to little success. His thoughts raced and his heart would have too if it listened to adrenaline.

The teen Drago cooed with concern. ("You could heal him like you heal yourself!")

"You're right, but how do I get down there? If I take the long way he could be dead by then!"

But there was another way.

Then she growled. ("Don't try that, I don't wanna see you fall again!")

"I'll be okay this time, I promise!"

He'd never tried it from this far up, though...but there was no time to waste, and no time like the present.

One more leap of faith.

He jumped. The view was different this time looking down instead of up and not having been thrown off by the Drago losing an arm in the process. The wind blew at his clothes and hair, but it slowed when he began to levitate praying that for once in his life he wouldn't crack under the stress.

He went slower and slower until the ground was right beneath him-

And he touched it with his tiptoes light as a feather.

"Isaac, is that you?!" Now he could see his face which was contorted in agony since unlike Claus, he was unlucky enough not to black out on impact. "God, this is my fault, I should've known you'd do it! I should've said something different to convince you not to try it! No no no no don't die on me!" He started healing him as fast as he could with his hands glowing a light green with Lifeup Gamma, causing Isaac's bloody body to glow too, making his two broken legs bend back from the unnatural angles they were at and make unpleasant cracking sounds as the bones knitted themselves back together. Isaac screamed in further pain and Claus winced, but he had to do this to save him. "Are you okay? Can you breathe?"

All the bleeding wounds started to close up, too, but he didn't know if it would be enough. What if he was beyond healing like Mom was? Even though she'd reawakened her PSI just before her death and tried to heal herself, it hadn't worked, their powers had limits. Was his heart okay? His breaths were ragged and uneven, and he coughed up blood when he tried in futility to answer Claus coherently.

"Never mind, don't talk if it makes it worse! Don't move either, the doc said that could hurt your spine!" But then how would he get him out of here to get him help? How else could help arrive if he didn't leave him behind? But he couldn't possibly do that. What if there was internal bleeding? There was too much he didn't know, he couldn't see what the internal damage was like. Wait, did he need to do CPR? That was only if he couldn't breathe at all, right? He hadn't learned how to do that yet...what was he supposed to do?

Focus. Focus. One thing at a time. Claus tried not to spiral and tried instead to regain the same kind of steely composure he had as the commander, minus the emotionless obedience to Porky. His Lifeup felt like it was working, but his healing might not be enough, so he needed more people to come help, like Lucas and Kumatora and maybe some actual medical professionals. But how could he make that happen without leaving him behind?

Oh.

"Lucas, can you hear me?! I found Isaac and he's hurt really bad!" Claus wasn't a good enough telepath to reach out to just anyone from this far yet, but his and Lucas's connection had run deep ever since they were babies.

"What?! What happened? Is he okay?! Was it an accident or did a chimera attack him? If it was a chimera, are you okay?! Where are you?!"

"No, it's neither, we're at Drago Plateau and he jumped!"

"He what?!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't see him do it, I couldn't stop him! I'm trying to heal him but I don't know if he'll be okay! Just come here quick, and get Kuma, get anyone!"

"I will, I will, just calm down!" Lucas said even though he could feel just as much panic from his end of the telepathy. "Keep healing him, I'll get help, but where are you specifically? Just try to breathe and tell me so we can get to the right place!"

Over the course of the next few minutes Claus tried to explain to him Isaac's location and condition as he best he could while continuing to heal him, and Lucas kept giving him updates about how he and Kumatora were getting medics to come help and they were coming there too.

But there were moments of silence where he could hear Isaac's thoughts while the poor man drifted in and out of his hazy consciousness as he struggled to survive.

Hinawa had descended like an angel to heal him too. Jumped down from one of those buildings in this city that these days felt less like a home and more like the pot of boiling water for that poor metaphorical frog, her allies providing covering fire against the military forces that had nearly killed him with this explosion.

Her hands weren't as shaky as Claus's were in the present. They'd both seen their share of death, but unlike him, she was far too used to tending to the wounded by now.

"Just keep breathing, we're gonna get ya out of here safe."

What had he ever done to deserve such love, then or now? All he knew was how to run away and leave his friends and family behind, how to fail and make the same mistakes over and over. Tried to feel important and made himself the sorriest, most insignificant sucker the world had ever seen.

"Just keep breathing, we're gonna get ya out of here safe." He tried to echo Mom's words and her same amount of calm.

And for once he wasn't a liar. Isaac was still barely breathing when one of those flying ambulances showed up and rolled out an Instant Revitalizing Machine, thankfully with no medical bills involved like in the old world Isaac and Mom escaped or New Pork until just recently.

Lucas and Kumatora were in it, too, and they helped with the healing, which was good, since Claus wasn't sure how much longer he could handle the stress on his own.

By some miracle, Isaac survived, and without any permanent injuries either.

"I must say, it's a good thing you found him when you did, I don't think he would have lasted much longer..." Dr. Andonuts said standing near Isaac's hospital bed.

"But he'll get better, right?" Lucas said.

"Yes, with a few weeks of recovery. In the 90s, it would have been a few months to heal those broken bones, but we're lucky to have Instant Revitalizing Machines and your healing powers."

"That's good..."

"But how do we make sure he-I mean, how do we make sure you don't do it again, Isaac?" Claus said now looking at him, trying not to talk about him like he wasn't in the room.

"I started regretting it 'bout halfway down, actually...story of my life, isn't it? Just about everything I do turns out to be a mistake before I know it."

"Come on, don't say that..."

"But it's true. Did you know this ain't even the first time I've tried this? Happened back before we got rid of our memories, too. That's what convinced some folks to do it, and that turned out to be a mistake, too, so it's all my fault...maybe if I'd known how to live with it, we'd all be better off today."

"You don't know that for sure! Grandpa didn't say you were one of the people who tried to...that, but he did say it was more than one person," Claus said.

"It doesn't matter, I still got some of the blame. I'm lucky I didn't pick a steeper fall or hit the ground different, or I wouldn't keep getting all these second chances. Honestly, I don't think I'm even worth the effort, it's not like anyone would miss me..."

"I would."

"Hinawa said something like that, too...she's the one who saved me from myself back then, and that wasn't the only time she healed me, either...you remind me of her."

"...You really think so?" Claus said blinking back tears. "No, only Lucas is like her."

"Just 'cause you and me are different doesn't mean you're nothing like her. I'm proud of you for saving him, and I know she would be too...but I'm still mad you jumped off the cliff like that," Lucas said. He hadn't told Lucas that part, but he'd heard it from the Drago. "Your own safety's just as important as his."

"Yeah, we're never gonna let you hear the end of that one, kiddo," Kumatora said jokingly. "But you still did good."

"Thanks, y'all...but are you sure you can find a way to keep going?" He asked Isaac.

"I'll have to somehow..."

"I've been there, and I promise it really can get better. It's still hard sometimes for me, and I still think about it, but I know I'm not gonna do it, I've got too much to lose now."

"Thanks...y'know, it does help hearing it from you. Don't worry about me. It's my own fault I haven't made friends anyhow, it's not like everyone in town always pushed me away, and even after all the stupid things I did, some folks are the awfully forgivin' sort. Just focus on taking care of yourself instead of worrying about me, I'll figure something out."

"I'm glad to hear that..."

Saving someone from suicide stirred a strange feeling in his mechanical heart. His hasty brother had forgiven him, but he had never forgiven himself...until now, maybe. Just a little bit. The thought of redemption still seemed so far away, no matter how hard he worked or how fast he went, but maybe for once in his life it was time to slow down.

He just had to get there, one step at a time...