Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

January 21st, 1990. An Irken Smeetery.

The glass tube shattered into little pieces as it fell to the floor.

The green fuild inside now littered the floor, and a small Irken smeet sat on it.

Soon, a robot arm emerged from the ceiling, drilling two holes into the newborns back. It then installed a pak. The computer brain every Irken had, that'd be soon pumped with knowage of the Irken empire, language etc.

Soon, another robot arm emerged, shocking the newborn smeet. It soon came to life.

"Welcome to life, young Irken Zim." The robot stated, Zim quickly clung into it.

"I love you, cold unfeeling robot arm!" He declared with a smile.

"Please report for duty." The robot requested, Zim then left.

11 years later, March, 2001. Irk. Conventia.

Zim zoomed through the sky. He couldn't believe had hadn't gotten his invitation for this!

He had just broken out of Foodcourtia for this. It hoped that it wasn't late.

He soon arrived, cutting through the large, claustrophobic crowds of the convention hall.

"Wait!" He screeched, trying to crawl on the stage.

"That voice!"

"It can't be!"

"Zim!" Red gasped at the small Irken.

"Sorry I'm late! I couldn't find my invitation!" Zim apologized, standing beside his childhood friend Skoodge, who was standing there in confusion.

"Sorry Zim, the assigning is over." Skoodge frowned.

"What!" Zim spat, then glancing at Tallests.

"He's right." Purple confirmed.

"NOOOOO!! You can't have invasion with out me!" Zim began, "I am the Invader!"

"You tried to destroy your home planet, Zim." Red replied.

"I put the fires out!" Zim said.

"You made them worse!" Red spat back.

"Please! Please give me a chance!" Zim begged, looking up at Red and Purple with puppy eyes.

"Uhhh.. here's a sandwich to show our gratitude… for your duty in the past." Red mumbled, handing Zim the sandwich, Zim glanced at him in confusion, titling his head and side-eyeing him like dog.

"Wait. I have a better idea." Red said.

Red smirked at Purple, whispering into his antenna.

Purple have him a nod of affirmation.

There was no way they were ever going to give a proper assignment to a defect like Zim again.

"We have a special assignment for you, Zim." He smirked in a cocky manner.

Zim's eyes winded with glee. Red couldn't believe his gullibility.

"Your going to conquer a planet so mysterious, that no one has even heard of it." Red stated, "And those who have, don't dare to speak of it." Purple adds.

"What's its name? Where it is?" Zim questioned.

Red levitated and zoomed towards the map, pointing to a sticky note with "planet?" written on it.

Purple handed Zim a sticky note with its name.

"Earth??" "Urth???"

"Are you happy now?" Red and Purple questioned in unison, "Yeessss!!! Yes!" Zim smirked with a cackle.

Red and Purple smirked at each other. They were glad they were getting that nuisance out of their antennae, once for all.

Purple and Red brought Zim into a separate room then the other Invaders.

Zim glanced at them curiously.

Purple then dropped something on the floor, a sir unit.

"Is it supposed to be stupid??" Zim questioned, glancing down at the sir unit.

"It's not stupid, it's advanced!" Purple insisted.

Soon, the little guy had come to life.

Red and Purple were snickering for some reason.

The then glanced at Zim, "Gir. Reporting for duty." It saluted.

Zim rose his eyebrow.

"Gir?? What does the G stand for?" He questioned, "I have no idea!" Gir replied with a smile.

Well, now it was time to go find this strange planet known as "Urth".

He sat on the roof, he had everything.

He slid down one of pipes by the house, falling into sink with a splash.

"They're- they're coming!" He screamed.

"Who's coming?" She asked, "Aliens Gaz!!! ALIENS!" He answered in distress.

Gaz rolled her eyes. She was used to her brother's antics.

His father let out a sigh and glanced at his son, he'd just finished making a piece of super toast.

"Dibert, not this again." Professor Membrane sighed. His son was a bit old to still be worried about this.

"But Dad! I heard them! THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!"

Professor Membrane rolled his eyes.

"Son. Please relax. We'll be okay." He assured.

Dib frowned as they bolted up the stairs, fearing what was to come.

6 months later, September, 2001. Detroit, Michigan.

Gir had been singing the doom song for 6 months straight.

"Gir. Please stop." Zim grumbled.

Gir didn't listen.

Zim zoomed over the streets of the "Urthinoid" city of Detroit, Michigan. Whatever that was.

He zoomed over the houses, before he finally landed.

He then landed on the street of Vasquez Avenue. But he didn't know that.

Zim glanced at a green and white sign at the end of the street, he had also been reading up a little on these "Urthinoids."

There wasn't that much information, but one of few things xe had managed to find was that the Urthinoids had these things called "full names." Not just a single name. Two or in some cases three. Usually a first name, (sometimes a middle) and a surname.

Zim glanced at that sign more.

I guess I'll just say that my surname is Vasquez.. Zim decided, that'd probably help xem fit in better with these weird Urthinoids.

Zim watched as a set of wires emerged from the ground.

Once the base and disguises were finished, Zim walked inside, and went downstairs to the laboratory, to do further research.

Dib had been up all night long, something was very wrong.

He had been staring out the window for minutes.

He had just seen a strange alien spacecraft zoom down the street, a strange house formed in the space between Bob and Lucy's houses.

The aliens!! They've arrived! Dib thought in panic.

Well, perhaps it was time to start making use of those alien weapons.

Two days had passed. It was now Monday.

Zim walked down the streets to "Skool".

Zim glanced at it from afar.

It was reminiscent of the academy. It assumed it was just the human equivalent to that.

Dib sat at his desk in boredom, "Okay class, we have a new appendage to the student body." Ms Bitters announced.

Zim the walked into the classroom, with his typical weird walk.

Dib was pointing his finger at him, jaw dropped.

The alien!! The alien from the transmission from months ago! The alien that'd zoomed down the street!!

"His name is Zim." Ms Bitters stated, "If you have anything you'd like to say, say it now." Ms Bitters spat.

"Hello fellow Urthinoid worm-babies! I am Zim!" Zim said before sitting down.

Urthinoid worm-babies?! Dib thought. There was no way this guy wasn't an alien.

Dib let out growl. He was going to have deal with this alien-scum later though.

Zim sat at xyr desk, but noticed a Urthinoid staring at him.

He was tan and had chocolate brown eyes. He also had brownish-black hair and definitely used way to much hair gel. They had a weird scythe shaped hair on the top of their head.

They didn't seem to like the fact xe was there.

Zim rose his eyebrow in confusion, before the other kid threw a piece of paper at xem.

Zim opened the paper, and read it in his head, it said.

Get out of my school.

Zim looked even more confused, before he turned back to the other kid, who was now moving his finger across his neck.

Zim knew what he meant.

He wanted him dead.

The other kid then glanced away, and payed mild attention to Ms Bitters rant about how outer space was "doomed" or whatever. She seemed to like that word a lot. Oh well. Zim did too.

Once Skool had ended, Zim walked outside.

He was now on the steps.

"Zim." A voice said. It masculine and nasally. Yet it was not quiet. They sounded like they had swallowed a cotton ball and had the flu.

Zim turned around, only to see that it was that boy had been staring at him in class.

"I know what you really are. Alien-scum. Your shitty disguise may have fooled everyone else, but i didn't fool me." He declared.

Zim felt knots form in his stomach, before he watched as this other kid pulled out a pair of handcuffs.

"Oh pretty… what are those??" Zim remarked.

"Thanks. Also Alien handcuffs. Designed to render all alien life forms unconscious." He smirked, "But how do you know that if you've never found an alien before?" Zim questioned.

"THAT'S BECAUSE I'M GOING TO FIND OUT RIGHT NOW!" They shouted leaping on top of Zim.

The other kids stared, "Ugh typical Dib." Zita remarked.

Oh! That's his name! Dib! Zim realized.

Dib tried to pin Zim down, but Zim ended up pinning him down instead.

But Dib quickly pushed him off, and the two continued to wrestle, before Zim managed to push Dib off once and for all.

Zim bolted in a different direction, Dib dusted off knees, Gaz had watched everything.

Before she could say anything though, Dib bolted after Zim.

The two chased after each other through the city, jumping over and between the cars passing by.

"I just want to go home and be normal!" Zim shouted as Dib chased after it.

Soon enough, they were on top of a Skool bus.

Dib held the cuffs, a unhinged grin forming on his face.

"I'm going to rip you open! They'll name a autopsy video after me!!" Dib cackled, Zim tried to get away, but unfortunately for it, Dib had caught it.

"I've got you now!" He sneered, and before Zim knew it, he was unconscious.

Dib held Zim up in victory, only for no one to notice.

"Damn it." They said, before trying to catch up with Gaz.

They had finally caught up with Gaz, showing off their prize.

Gaz was playing on her Gameslave, before noticing her brother.

"Look Gaz! I caught an alien!" He smiled gleefully.

"Okay Dib. I don't give a shit that you date aliens or whatever." She deadpanned.

"What?!" Dib gaspedz Gaz then snatched a handcuffed Zim out of her brother's hands, rendering him conscious.

Zim awoke, very confused, Dib standing over him.

"This isn't over Zim, THIS ISN'T OVER!" Dib shouted, before Zim ran off.

Zim ran back home, Gir was waiting for him.

Zim arrived home, shutting and locking the door behind him.

He let out a sigh.

I feel great about how today went.

Chapter Text

Zim started at the clock, waiting in anticipation.

He just wanted the Skool day to be over.

Finally.

The bell rang.

"Remember students, tonight is Parent-Teacher Night. You must bring you and your parents to the Cafeteria." She stated.

"What?! I never agreed to this "Parent-Teacher" Night!" Zim gasped, "You did, actually." Ms Bitters stated,

"YOOOOOOUUUU LIIIIIIEEEE!!!" Zim argued, before Ms Bitters showed his agreement on tape.

"Oh yeah-" Zim remarked. It hated having short-term memory problems.

"Wow. Putting up a fight for something as simple as parent-teacher night, Zim?" Dib commented smugly, getting up into Zim's face.

Zim gagged at the stench of Dib's breath. Had he ever heard of breath mints?

"Do you even know what a parent is, Zim?" He questioned in the same smug tone.

"Of course I do!" Zim spat, not wanting to deal with Dib.

I love you cold unfeeling robot arm!

Zim gagged a bit. Why did its first words have to be "I love you!" Of all things?

It had just realized it'd been hugging Ms Bitters, who quickly (gently.) pushed him off.

"You'll be here tonight Zim. Both you and your parents." She stated.

Zim began to walk towards the exit, before it heard Dib make another smug remark.

Xe turned to face them.

"Why yes, stinky-Dib! I shall bring my parents! And they'll be the greatest and most parental parents EVER!"

Zim began to walk home, Dib was on his mind.

"It's not called Parent Teacher Night, Zim. It's called. "Zimmy Doom- Zimmy… Zimmy par- uhh Zimmy Doom Night!" Dib giggled.

"OH ALSO! WATCH OUT FOR THE PUPPYYYY!!!" He warned.

Zim tripped on the concrete with a thud.

"Son of a-" He nearly said before stopping himself.

He walked toward the walkway, only to see his robot mom terrorizing a poor makeup saleswoman.

Zim quickly stopped the robot, and turned to face the traumatized sales woman.

"I'm so sorry about my mom-" It apologized, before the saleswoman ran off with a screech.

"Wait! Noooo!! Come back! I NEEEED STUUUFFF!!" Gir cried, Zim frowned.

Damn it. It needed some of this human makeup stuff too. It liked seeing the cool edgy makeup the human girls would do.

Xe let out a sigh. Xe'd have to get xyr hands on that makeup stuff some other time. Now time to go scold the Robo-Parents.

Xe clenched xyr teeth as xe walked inside.

"Welcome home son!" Robo-Dad greeted.

"What do you want for dinner son?" Robo-Mom said.

"BE QUIET!!!" Zim ordered.

"You do NOT talk back to your parents!!" The two robots yelled in unison.

Zim rolled his eyes and turned the Robo-Parents off.

He glanced over his shoulder at Gir.

"Gir. I need you to watch a educational video with the Robo-Parents. That way we'll appear like adverage everyday Urthinoids." Zim ordered.

"On it master!" Gir saluted, it's usually cyan eyes flashing a shade of bright red.

The group headed downstairs, to the laboratory.

16 televisions were hooked up, and wires connected from them to the Robo-Parents.

Different programs were programs were playing on the screens, Gir kept squeaking about how they were all his favorite shows.

One of the commercials was with a guy shouting "MY SPIIIINE!!"

Zim rolled his eyes at Gir's goofing around.

"Gir. I need you to keep watch over the parent decoys as they watch this. No changing the channels or anything." Zim ordered, "Yes master. I obey!" Gir replied.

Zim inserted the DVD into the player, and left the room.

Gir was completely trustworthy, right?

WRONG.

It was now late afternoon.

The parents and children flooded the cafeteria. Loud voices overlapping over one another.

Ms Bitters glanced at the parents in the room, she had taught them too.

She had made about statement about when they were her students, she said that they'd amount to nothing. And that she was correct.

Professor Membrane walked beside both his children as they entered the building.

Dib glanced up at his father. He was surprised he was even able to make it.

Professor Membrane was the text-book definition of workaholic. He was constantly working, even when he should've been resting. His schedule was very, very tight. Very little time to relax or do anything else but work.

Dib didn't understand how his Dad never needed a break. But maybe he did but refused to show it. Oh well. Him and Gaz didn't know.

Mr Elliot approached them, "Hi there Mr. Membrane! I'm your daughter, Gaz's teacher." He greeted, the two shaking hands.

"I just wanted to talk to you a bit about Gaz's anger issues. I find it a bit concerning-" He began.

Dib glanced away, ignoring the conversation between Mr Elliot and their father, and got some punch. Only to see Zim's robot parents from across the room.

Zim's robot mom was aggressively poking someone, everyone was staring.

Dib sipped their punch. Maybe they'll actually realize the truth. He hoped, but knew deep down that it was just a case of wishful thinking.

Meanwhile, in the distance, a loud explosion had occurred at Membrane Labs.

Professor Membrane glanced over at the laboratory in the distance in horror as he watched the explosion.

"Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have left Tom, Rodger and Bill work alone!" He remarked.

Oh well. He was going to deal with that later. Unfortunately.

Meanwhile, Dib was watching Zim's robot parents spout the most random things imaginable.

Zim's robot Dad was talking about diarrhea of all things.

Zim had pulled his robot mom off of the other lady, whom she had been poking, "I think we should go home now-" he suggested.

"You don't tell us what to do young man! GO TO YOUR ROOM!!" Robo-Dad shouted, throwing Zim into the punch bowl.

A large grin appeared on Dib's face.

Dib let out a giggle of laughter at Zim's pain, experiencing a sense of schadenfreude at Zim's misery. God, he loved seeing him suffer.

Zim got out of the sticky mess, now drenched in sugary fruit punch. It seemed very offended at Dib's reaction.

Mr Elliot approached him, eyes full of concern.

"Are you and your Dad alright?" Mr Elliot questioned, his voice full of concern. "Yes!!! Me and the parent decoys are completely fine!" Zim insisted, but Mr Elliot seemed a bit unconvinced.

Zim knew there was only one way to get the Robo-parents attentions.

They were dancing for some reason.

"MYYYY SPIIIIIINE!!!" He shouted, getting the Robo-Parents attention.

They both zoomed over.

"Awe, Zimothy darling. I think it's about time we got you home." Robo-Mom said, cuddling Zim.

Not long after, the Robo-Parents blasted off.

"No one saw that, right?" Dib questioned.

He threw his punch on the floor in frustration.

Thankfully, before anyone could shout about Dib throwing punch, the Membranes left.

The family hopped in the car, "What's that green boy's name?" Professor Membrane immediately asked, "He's not human Dad! He's an alien! One of the monsters I've been talking about!" Dib corrected.

"Son. How many times do I have tell you that aliens and your Para-Science isn't real! I'm sure there's a scientific explanation for his green skin! Like radiation!" Professor Membrane stated.

"But-" he uttered. Before reminding himself, that no matter how much evidence he compiled, no matter how much reasoning, no matter anything. That their father wouldn't believe them. And would just think it was them being a dumb kid that'd eventually grow out it.

Dib frowned. Why did he even say anything. Why'd he ever tell his Dad anything.

"Anyway, Gazlene. You've got to learn how to control your anger!" He began, changing subject.

He rambled about it the whole drive home, and Gaz felt awful by the time they pulled up in the driveway.

But… something lingered in Professor Membrane's mind.

He's not alien? Right?

Meanwhile, Zim was scolding Gir, it wouldn't hear the end of it.

Zim sat alone at the lunch table like usual.

He could overhear the popular girls chit-chatting and shit talking.

"I can't believe new kid Zip has no friends. Not even with that creepy loser Dib. Or even the rejects in the corner…" Jessica remarked.

"It's so…. inhuman." She adds.

Zim felt knots form in his stomach.

He could just imagine becoming a little experiment to scientists. Oh the horror…

He was going to have to make one of these "friends" too fit in.

It glanced around the room.

No, the Dib-human is OUT of the question! It quickly decided.

Dib was yapping about random stuff to Gaz anyway.

Even though she looked like she wanted to punch his teeth out.

It could see the other kids being friendly with one another.

Xe let out a sigh. Xe was going to get up and do it.

Soon enough, xe approached the Rejects.

Matthew ran off in terror, Dirge glanced at the others with uncertainty.

"Squally fools!! You human filthies should be grateful to even be considered potential friends of ZIIIIIMMMM!!"

The other kids skitted away, expect for one.

There was a boy sitting there, he had ginger colored hair and green eyes.

"I'll be your friend." He offered with smile.

"My name's Keef. What's yours?" He adds.

"Zim. But first we must go through some tests." Zim replied.

After going through the horrors known as the absorbency, electrocution and the beavers tests, Zim's decision had been made.

"Congratulations Keef, you have won!" Zim smiled.

"Oh! I've never won anything before! I promise I'll the best and most loyal friend ever!" He promised with a smile.

He tried to hug Zim, but Zim pushed him off.

"Don't touch me." Zim ordered.

Zim began to show off its new best friend to the world, only for Dib to look upset.

"Sorry about Dib. He's kind of a betch." Keef said as the two walked by.

Dib overheard them. But he rolled his eyes. It was nothing new. He got it all the time. Pretty much all their schoolmates had called them a bitch or some variation of it at some point. Even in Kindergarten, he could still remember that one time Letty had been sent to the principals office for calling them a bitch.

Dib let out a sigh. He began to worry.

What could Zim do to Keef?

Sure. Dib wasn't exactly fond of Keef. But befriending Zim and having a friendship with xem wasn't something he'd wish on anyone.

"Looks like somebody jealous." Gaz deadpanned, Dib started breathing heavily through their nose, pupils dilating before grabbing Gaz by the collar of her bat-wing shaped shaw.

"Gaz. Shut the fuck up before I sell your soul to Mortos himself." He threatened with clenched teeth, eyes burning with fury, getting all up into her face and staring aggressively into her soul.

Gaz quickly shut her mouth. She knew that Dib and demons were definitely not a good combination.

Dib kept his eye on Zim and Keef for the rest of the day.

He watched them play together and all that jazz. But they knew something was up.

It was later that day.

Dib quickly hid behind objects as they watched them walk together, being observant. Keeping their eyes peeled.

Dib watched as Keef talked Zim's ear off, much to Zim's dismay. Keef wouldn't stop talking about the circus. It was clear that Keef was an annoyance to Zim.

The two reached Vasquez Avenue. Dib hid behind a garbage can as he watched them walk towards Zim's base.

Zim turned to face him once they arrived at Zim's doorstep.

"I'd like to congratulate you, Keef. You've been a convincing friend, and now that the world seems satisfied with our companionship, I no longer think that i require your services. Our mission together is finished." It stated, "Great job solider," it continued, "Run along now." It finished.

Dib quickly then hid in a bush near Zim's place, quiet as a mouse. Observing like a cat stalking its prey.

It then headed inside, closing the door in Keef's face.

Keef looked heartbroken and confused.

"Huh?? What did I do??" Keef asked, seeking answers.

Dib frowned as he watched from the bushes. Sure, he found Keef annoying, but he couldn't help but feel bad for the guy.

Keef repeatedly started begging and pleading for Zim to rethink his decision, it even got to the point where he teared up.

Until Zim finally answered the door.

Dib could tell that he had malicious intentions.

"Why, I have a gift to make you feel… better." Xe smirked, Keef's face light up.

They whipped the tears from their eyes.

They ripped off the paper, and opened the box, only to be met with a nasty surprise.

A pair of robot arms emerged from the box, Dib felt knots form in their stomach as they watched in horror. Their teeth clenched, and they began to shake.

The robot arms grasped Keef's eyeballs, ripping them out and quickly replaced them with a set of robotic, red and glowing ones. Keef's original eyeballs were then stashed in a mason jar, with some strange fluid inside.

Dib's jaw dropped, eyes widening in fear.

He was right. But. This was worse then they initially thought.

Chapter Text

It was sunny.

Skool was going to start soon. It the morning, and everyone just beginning to show up.

Dib was sitting near a bench that Gaz was sitting on.

Zim stealing Keef's eyeballs was still fresh in his mind.

"You see Gaz, to defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, wear my enemy's clothes and-" Dib rambled.

"Ug that's gay Dib." Gaz deadpanned, "Also, you're in my light."

Dib ignored his sister's remark. Sometimes he regretted coming out to her as bi, and this was definitely one of those times. Even if she was joking. (Or at least, they hoped that was the case-)

Zim watched as Chuck through a dodge-ball at someone's stomach.

"Inferior human organs!" Zim laughed.

Chuck then threw the dodge-ball at him, hitting him in the crouch.

"MYYY SPEEDILYYY SPOOOCHH!!" Zim groaned.

"Did you hear that Gaz? He said speedily-spooch! That's not a human organ!" Dib pointed out.

"I've got a speedily spooch." Gaz retorted.

"If only I had a way of looking at internal organs…" Dib sighed, before the mailman showed up.

"Uh… I have a package for a uh… "Mr Dib?" The mailmen uttered.

Gaz looked at him weird.

"That's me!!!" Dib smiled, opening the package. Packing peanuts everywhere.

"Isn't cool Gaz? It's called an X-Scope! I ordered it from back of crop circles magazine!" Dib smiled. They seemed quite happy with the product.

"Why did you have it delivered to school??" Gaz questioned.

"I'm not giving you that information." Dib answered.

He then zoomed into Zim's body, revealing its alien organs.

Wow… what a strange organ… Dib thought, noticing that Irkens had both reproductive organs. And that it also functioned as heart and other organs.

Interesting.

They whipped out a notepad, and noted everything down.

Ms Bitters was rambling about how Ring Around the Rosie was about the Plague.

But then, a pigeon flew into the classroom via a open window and landed on Zim's head.

Ms Bitters immediately noticed.

"Zim! There's a pigeon on your head! Go to the nurse's office this instant!" Ms Bitters demanded.

"You know Zim, when you go to the nurses office, she'll notice that you don't have any human organs, and then next you'll know, you'll be at a hospital, then on my personal alien autopsy table. Dead. And then you'll just be a another segment on Mysterious Mysteries." Dib sneered in a smug manner, letting out chuckle afterwards.

"I'll be fine Dib-human. but I do appreciate your concern." He replied in a sassy and flamboyant manner, trying to hide the fact that it was secretly scared shitless.

Zim began to panic internally.

How did you figure out it was an alien?

"We noticed that it had a speedily-spooch.

Dib was drawing alien gore in class, trying to distract himself.

Maybe everyone would find out that they were actually correct.

It was shortly after, Dib decided to follow Zim. Just to see what xe had up xyr gloved sleeve.

He had to know what exactly he was up too. He watched xyr from the bathroom.

He noticed Zim peering through the door of the biology room. His eyes filled with horror.

Then, once he'd walked away, a hall monitor came up to him.

"Hey, do you have a hall pass?"

"Do you have any organs?"

"Yes, lots!"

A arm then emerged from Zim's Pak, a piece of Irken technology, snatching the hall monitor's liver.

He let out a screech, before Zim set off to steal more organs.

Dib began to shake. They needed to warn everyone before it was too late.

It was now lunch, Dib stared in horror.

Everyone around him was limping around and looked sickly.

"Holy shit- and it's not even ketchup and rice day!" Dib remarked.

They began scanning the entire room, Zim had replaced everyone's organs with different objects!

They scanned the room for Zim.

Dib then spotted Zim, filled to the brim with organs.

"That's it Zim! It's time to stop!" Dib demanded.

"Make me!" Zim challenged, looming over him on its pak legs.

"How many organs do you have?!" Dib demanded once again.

Zim began to list all the organs he'd stolen, before realizing he was missing a pair of lungs.

"Your not getting my lungs, alien-bitch!" Dib spat, there was no way they were letting Zim anywhere near their body. Not after the whole Nano-Zim incident.

He could still remember Zim mentioning how fucked up his home planet was with out even realizing it.

"I've been flying ships since before you were born!" Zim directed.

"You're only four months older then me!" Dib retorted.

"Wha- how did you know that?! HOW DID YOU THAT I WAS BORN ON JANUARY 21st 1990?!" He questioned.

"The more important question is why they were letting you drive a ship as a baby!" Dib spat.

"That's normal!" Zim clarified.

Wait what the fuck?? Dib thought to himself.

Zim's weird and stupid alien planet was more fucked up then he had previously assumed.

They then were desperately searching for someone who hadn't been a victim of Zim's organ stealing spree.

They spotted Torque, who was lifting a weight for some reason.

"Hey! You still got all your organs?" Dib questioned.

"Uh… yeah." Torque confirmed.

"You're in danger!!" Dib fretted.

"How?" Torque questioned, before noticing Zim.

He immediately dropped the weight he was holding.

"Oh my god! That's where everyone's organs went!" He gasped, maybe Dib was actually right about Zim being an alien.

The two dashed out of Cafeteria and into the hallway. Torque cringed at Dib's gross stench.

"Dude… have you ever heard of Axe body spray?? Or New Spice??" He remarked, "We don't have time for this!!" Dib jittered, before mentioning how aliens and cryptids were their hobby.

"UM- DIP!!" Torque panicked after Zim had levitated him via the air vent.

Dib grasped Torque's foot, managing to get him down before Zim could steal any of his organs.

"Damn uh. Thanks. Dim." Torque said.

"It's Dib, actually. but close enough. Now let's get the fuck out of here." Dib replied.

Dib and Torque ran out of the skool as fast their little legs could carry them.

"We're gonna get in trouble for this." Torque said.

"Do you want your internal organs to be stolen for not?" Dib questioned.

"No.." Torque answered with a frown.

"Then suck it up." Dib spat.

He ran all the way back home, locking the door behind him. Torque went to his house too.

"Maybe that weird Deep guy isn't that bad." Torque commented on his way home.

Perhaps they both now had a weird, awkward acquaintance. Maybe Dib actually had someone by his side for once.

Dib hoping Gaz was okay once they were inside their house.

But then, they heard the sound of the door opening.

They quickly whipped out a steak knife to defend themself.

But then, the door opened. Dib felt knots form in their stomach.

"Drop the knife, Dib. It's just me." Gaz said.

Dib quickly put the knife away.

"Oh thank god it's just you-" He said with relief, "How are you okay though?" He questioned.

"Zim gave everyone their organs back. Well… expect for Keef's eyeballs which he'd already stolen. He was just borrowing them. I dunno. Now leave me alone." Gaz stated before she headed upstairs.

Dib let out a sigh of relief. But they know had different thing to tend too now.

Getting Keef's eyeballs back.

Dib showed up on Zim's doorstep. The door was unlocked.

"Zim!" He shouted, bursting through the door, only to see Gir standing there.

"HIIIII BIGHEAD!!" It greeted, Dib rolled his eyes.

"Where are Keef's eyeballs." Dib demanded, "I'll be right back!" Gir smiled, before coming back with Keef's eyeballs, which were in a jar.

"Thanks man." Dib said before leaving Zim's base.

Dib had managed to hunt down Keef. They were at a park.

"Hey man, I got your eyeballs." He said.

Dib then replaced Keef's robotic eyeballs with his real ones.

Keef finally had his eyeballs back.

"Thanks Dib! I really appreciate it!" He smiled, "Uhhh.. no problem?" Dib replied.

"I'm just trying to uh… help defend the planet or whatever." They add.

Keef then glanced away from him, "Hey uh… I'm sorry for all those times I called you betch.. or just rude things.." He apologized.

Dib was taken by surprise. He blinked in confusion. He seemed a bit shocked.

"Are you okay?" Keef asked, "No… it's just nobody's ever apologized to me before.. so it's a bit weird.." Dib answered.

"Ah, I see." Keef remarked. He then paused for a moment.

"Do you want to be friends?? I understand if you don't… you probably think I'm annoying anyway.." Keef questioned.

Dib seemed a bit surprised, he'd never really had a friend before. Everyone just thought he was weird. Everyone thought he was insane and creepy. And that he was an asshole with no heart. But apparently not Keef.

They were taken aback, "Is everything alright?" Keef asked, voice filled with concerned. "No- it's just nobody's ever really asked that before- I- I just don't understand. Everyone thinks I'm creepy, insane and an asshole. So why would you want befriend me?" Dib said.

"Well… I used to think that way about you.. until you showed me that you also have a heart." Keef replied softly. "You're not as scary and creepy as you seem." They add.

"I-I uh don't know say- I'm sorry I'm just not used to people being nice to me a guess-" He replied positively, tearing up a little.

"That's okay." Keef assured.

"So, do you want to be friends?" Keef repeated.

"Sure. As long as you learn how to respect boundaries." Dib answered, letting a happy sniffle.

"How do I do that?" Keef questioned.

"I can teach you." Dib offered with a smile, before the two hugged.

Dib felt like his organs were going to explode, but in a good way.

Dib finally had someone on his side.

"Hello Gir." Zim greeted as he walked through the front door.

"Hi master! I gave Bighead Keefy's eyeballs!" Gir grinned happily.

"NOOOO GIIRRRR!!! THAT'S BAAADDD!! BAD SIR!" Zim scolded, Poor Gir frowned, it looked extremely sad.

Chapter Text

It was what the human's called Career Day.

Zim watched as Melvin, Brian and Sarah all proclaimed what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Melvin had mentioned how he wanted to be astronaut. But Ms Bitters quickly interjected that she wanted to be one too. Before her ship had imploded in the dark vacuum of space.

Ms Bitters handed everyone a piece of paper. "This paper will determine your future career. Answer each question carefully." She stated.

She placed one on Zim's desk before moving on to the other students.

Zim quickly scribbled everything down.

Human slave. Human slave. Human slave.

"What does identifying blotches have anything to do with our futures??" Dib questioned.

Ms Bitters let out a sigh. "You poor doomed child."

Ms Bitters put all the papers into the computers.

She began telling the kids what jobs they'd get in the future, before reading out Dib's.

"And Dib… you will be come a… Parnormal Investigatior." Ms Bitters proclaimed.

"Yes!" Dib grinned with glee, "And Zim. You will be-"

"Overlord of all Urthinoids!!" He proclaimed, interjecting.

"working in fast food." Ms Bitters finished with a sigh.

Zim felt knots form in his stomach. No… no! Not like Foodcourtia!

"No wonder Zim showed up covered in meat the other day!" Melvin remarked.

Zim immediately stood up from his seat.

"That was because of filthy germs!! NOW OBEEYYYY THEEEE FIIIISSSST!!" Zim declared, shaking its fist at Melvin, which made him shut up.

The students walked out of the classroom to find the adult they had been partnered with.

"You know Zim, when me and that respected paranormal investigator team up, just know that we'll expose you the second we get a chance. They'll see through your poor disguise! And then we'll take you to their personal lab!! And we'll do horrible tests on you!" Dib smiled.

Zim began to shake. What if it did get exposed today?

But then, a older teenage boy came up to Zim. He looked to be about 14 or 15 years old and had Simon written on his name tag.

"Hey uh.. do you know where Zim is?" He questioned, "I am Zim! Take me to the MEEEEATS!" Zim declared.

"Sorry kid. You can't work in meat prep just yet. You have to learn how to make fries first." Simon stated, before him and Zim headed to MacMeaties.

Dib walked up the paranormal investigator he had been teamed up with.

"Are you Dib?" He questioned, Dib nodded.

"Call me Bill." Bill said, introducing himself to Dib. He sounded a bit emotionless.

The two walked down the hallway.

"There's an alien in my class. I've been trying to expose him but no one believes me.. not even my own Dad.." Dib frowned, Bill became intrigued. A real alien??

"Oh?" He uttered.

"Do you have evidence, young man?" Bill inquired as him and Dib walked outside.

Dib felt a sense of gender euphoria and respect.

"Yes! Lots!" Dib confirmed.

"Alright. You can show me in a minute. But let's roll." Bill said.

The two got into Bill's car, it was very cool looking. It was black and sleek.

The two drove off in a fog of smoke.

Simon had pulled up to Macmeaties in his bike, Zim was in the basket ET style.

A large grin formed on Zim's face once xe saw the sign.

"8 million served? That's more then the entire population!!! And they all serve Macmeatie?? If Zim rules Macmeaties, then I'll serve the whole world!!" He chirped.

Simon wanted to correct him and clarify that it meant that they had served over 8 million people food, but he didn't and just brought Zim inside.

"Tell me more about this alien, kid." Bill asked as he drove. He had big curiosity.

"His name is Zim! He's an Irken alien invader from outer space!! It may be able to fool everyone else with its poor disguise, but not me! I knew xe was an alien the second xe stepped foot into my classroom." Dib answered.

Bill then pulled into a parking lot.

"The Irken case? I've been following that one for years! I had an encounter with one of those horrible space roaches as a young boy." Bill stated.

Dib's eyes widened in shock, before he pulled out his briefcase.

Bill noticed the Swollen Eyeball logo on it.

"You work with the Swollen Eyeballs? What's your agent name?" Bill questioned.

"Uh… Agent Mothman.. don't tell anyone that though.."

Bill just gave him a thumbs up. "Nice to meet you, I'm Agent Cypher." Bill proclaimed.

The two shook hands. "I think I remember Darkbootie saying something about you once." Bill mentioned.

"Oh? What did he say?" Dib questioned with fear, yet also curiosity.

"I don't remember exactly what he said, I remember that it was definitely something positive." Bill smiled.

Dib then opened his briefcase, and gave Bill a bag full of photos.

Bill looked through them.

"Wow kid, you've got quite a lot of evidence!" He began, "I can't believe that people are so stupid." He finished.

"Yeah… well.. pretty much everyone thinks I'm a dumb kid so.." Dib sighed, "They all think I'm crazy."

Bill took a deep breath. "Well, you're certainly not a dumb kid. In fact, I think you're a very smart one. You noticed something that most people wouldn't have." Bill proclaimed, after carefully choosing his words.

Dib froze. Someone thought he was smart? An adult didn't scold or criticize him?

"Is something wrong?" Bill asked, concerned. His tone wasn't his typical emotionless one.

"No- sorry I'm just not used to someone being nice to me…" Dib said, with a small chuckle.

Wow… they're just like me when I was a kid. Bill thought.

"Anyway, do you know where this alien boy is?" Bill questioned, "Yes! He's at the Macmeaties! The one closest to Skool!" Dib said.

"Okay great!! Let's roll!"

"Zim has this weird acne stuff on his neck. Not sure why though." Dib mentioned.

Bill froze.

"That's because today is the Galactic Equinox! It's when all the planets align." Bill declared, "All irkens go through a molt when that happens!" He adds.

"It happens at five so…" Bill paused and checked his watch. "We have to be there in 20 minutes." He said.

Dib nodded before Bill sped off as I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me. By Rockwell played from the car radio.

Simon went to the sink.

"Okay first, before preparing food, you must wash your hands." He stated.

He then washed his hands.

Zim took off his usual gloves and placed them in pocket.

He then washed his hands.

But, it quickly felt a burning sensation.

"IT BURNS- IT BURNS!" He shouted.

Human water burns…

Simon looked concerned.

"Are you okay?" He asked, "Yes Zim is fine!" Zim insisted before the two put on gloves indented for kitchen work.

Simon held the fry basket before placing it into the deep fryer.

"Now, you want to be very careful when handing the grease, it is very hot and you can burn yourself if you are not careful." Simon advised.

Zim was itching his spores, causing one of them to burst and get green goo onto the fries.

No!!! NOOO!! Zim was panicking even more. He glanced at the clock. It was almost 5.

"Can I work in meat preparation yet?" Zim questioned, "You'll have to ask the shift manager about that." Simon said.

The shift manager was staring at Zim, watching his every move.

Bill and Dib looked very cool driving around. Bill was playing Smooth Criminal by M.J on the way to Macmeaties.

Soon enough, the two had arrived. And the two walked inside.

Bill stared at Simon.

”He’s an alien!” Dib accused, pointing to Zim. 

Simon rolled his eyes, “No. He just has a skin condition.” 

"No, the kid’s right. That green kid is an alien bug child from outer space!" He claimed.

Dib glanced at Bill. He seemed a bit surprised.

Simon let out a sigh, "Sir. This is a fucking MacMeaties." He stated. He thought they were crazy.

However, Bill and Dib stopped.

The two stared as they watched Zim's spores double in size.

"Let's get out of here." Dib advised, before him and Bill made a run for it.

The two saw watched Zim's growth spores explode, pus spewing out in a gross manner. They were so glad they were not in there.

Dib grabbed a brown bag from his coat pocket, and started vomiting.

The shift manner stared at Zim in anger.

"You're fired." He proclaimed, as the janitor started to clean up the disgusting mess.

Zim frowned.

It then left in shame.

Fast food really wasn't for it. Even if it was actually coded as a food drone and was supposed to work in fast food. But we don't talk about that.

Xe was walking outside the Macmeaties, and noticed the Dib.

Xe let out a growl.

Meanwhile Dib was still vomiting.

"Filthy human!!" Xe remarked.

Dib tossed his barf bag.

"Revolting alien scum." Dib spat.

Zim walked away from Dib in disgust.

Bill glanced at Dib.

"Hey kid. If you need anything feel free to let me or Agent Darkbootie know, okay?" Bill said.

"Okay, thank you." Dib replied quietly.

Dib then started to walk home, Bill watched in the distance.

I like that kid. He's weird. Bill thought positively.

Chapter Text

Zim was impatiently waiting for the clock to strike.

He was at the edge of his seat.

It had been a mostly gloomy day.

Zim could hear some rumbling from outside.

Rain.

The clock finally striked, and the students rose from their seats and began to leave.

Zim felt a sense of unease as it walked down the hall, just thinking about water, or otherwise h2o.

On Irk, H2O was a toxic cleaning chemical used in cleaning products. Basically the Irken equalivant to bleach. Not something pleasant like it was for the humans.

He glanced up at the clouds with a sense of dread.

"No! Not the rain!" Zim winced, not wanting his skin to burn.

"Scared of rain, Spaceboy?" Dib sneered, Zim glanced at him in anger.

The other kids started singing about rain.

Keef smiled at Dib.

"Hey let's go dance in the rain!" Keef suggested with a smile.

"Sorry- I don't want my hair to get wet." Dib apologized.

"Why not?" Keef asked with curiosity.

"Because then it'll wash out all the hair gel- and then all my hard work will be washed down the drain. And then I'll be stuck with my wavy hair all day." Dib answered.

"Dude… what's wrong with having wavy hair??" Keef pressed.

"I just think that it looks stupid like that." Dib answered with a groan.

Keef frowned. They were sure that the opposite was actually the case. "Alright then, you do you." He said.

Gaz was walking out of Skool, with a umbrella in hand.

"Hey. How come you aren't kissing in the rain with your dumb boyfriend?" She deadpanned, "He's not my fucking boyfriend, Gaz." Dib spat.

"Geez Dib. I was just joking." She clarified.

Zim then appeared from the shadows, grabbing Gaz and placing her on top of his head.

"Zim! Put me down!" She ordered, "If you want to keep your limbs, then you better put me down!" She spat.

Zim continued walking, "Hey. Let go of my sister, NOW!" Dib shouted.

When Zim finally put Gaz down after it'd stopped raining, Gaz was raging.

Both her eyes were wide open, and burning with fury. Her purple hair was no longer straight and styled but wavy and wet.

She clenched her teeth, before she punched it in the face.

Zim let out a whimper of pain.

"Come on Dib, let's go." Gaz spat, before dragging her sibling.

Zim stood up. Teeth clenched.

He was going to get revenge on the Dib.

Dib and Gaz walked home, Dib was rambling about aliens again.

"I'm glad my hair didn't get wet." They smiled, "Wow, way to rub it in." Gaz spat.

But then, before he knew it, Dib slipped.

"Ouch!" He cried, now on the concert sidewalk.

His hair was no longer straight but it was wavy.

"Who has wet hair now?" Gaz smirked, before walking away, "Hey!" Dib called out, scrambling after Gaz in attempt to catch up with her.

It was a day later. It was a bit hot, which was weird given it was October. In Detroit of all places. It should've been a bit cold.

Zim was walking by the park. Only to see some kids throwing some strange thingies at each other.

They looked like balloons. But if balloons had been filled with water.

Zim carefully approached the group.

"What are those things that you're throwing at each other?" It asked.

"Water balloons." A girl with blonde, wavy hair said.

Zim then turned away, with a smirk littered with malice.

This water ballon technology will be useful….

Zim was in the underground laboratory in his base.

Buzzing sounds could be heard as Zim smirked as he was crafting the components.

Zim let out a pleased chirp, "I present, the water ballon launcher!" It proclaimed, unveiling its new creation to Gir. Gir seemed pleased with it too.

Zim then put on its disguise and walked out of its base.

Xe was at the park again, Dib was nearby it seemed.

"Ooo Dib~" Zim called out a singsong tone.

Dib emerged from the shadows.

Dib let out a grunt of annoyance, holding a water gun in his hand. "What." He spat, only to notice Zim's water balloon launcher.

Dib stopped. Maybe he could compliment his alien nemesis, just this once.

He sighed. They should've known that a measly water gun wouldn't cut it.

"Is that a water balloon launcher? That's pretty neat." They complimented.

"Thank you, I am the very best, after all." It smirked in a sassy and flamboyant manner. Dib rolled their eyes.

The other kids were staring.

Zim then activated the launcher, while Dib started squirting at Zim.

Unfortunately for him, Zim was winning. Even if he was still screaming in pain every five seconds.

Before long, Dib laid on the ground, completely drenched. Gaz grabbed a water baloon and threw it in his face.

Dib cringed at the sight of his now drenched and wavy hair.

They got up and shakily stood, cringing at the feeling of drenched, wet sopping socks.

"The Wettening. THE WETTENING." He groaned, hair drenched wavy hair in his face.

Keef showed up, he seemed extremely worried. "Hey Dib, are you okay?!" He questioned, fretting. "Sorry I was really worried about you-"

A smile appeared on Dib's face. "You too." He smiled.

The two shared a hug before Dib pulled away.

"Anyway. I have to go track down that-" Dib growled.

"Betch." Keef chimed in.

"Yeah. That." Dib confirmed, before stomping through flooded street. He was gonna beat Zim's ass.

"ZIIIIIIIMMMMMM!!!"

The sound of police sirens wailed as the cops zoomed down the street.

The cops had indistinct exchanges, until one of them noticed a strange vehicle up in the air.

Meanwhile, Zim sat in his voot cruiser.

Zim zoomed close to the road, nearly hitting the police car. The car then drove of the edge of road, colliding into a Delious Weenie location.

"Stupid Urthinoid!" He laughed as he saw the police car crash into a Delious Weenie location.

But then, Zim would encounter a stupid Urth bee of Doom.

Zim's antennae flattened against his head as he stared at the bee.

"OH MY IRK!!" It started panicking, and before it knew it, it was about to crash at the local park.

"EJECTTT!! EJECT!" Zim screamed.

Zim felt the feeling of xyr ship crashing, hitting the ground with a loud thud. Zim had slid onto the grass, xyr body in pain.

Zim got up, dusting xyr knees. Gir stood in the distance.

"After I finish my war against the humans and destroy them. Then I'll destroy the BEES.."

Zim glanced around the area. Thankfully is was mostly remote and hidden.

Shrubs and thick grass littered the ground, with the trees acting as a canopy.

"Come on Gir. Let's go get a voot carrier so then I can go home and repair it, okay?" Zim said, Gir let out a sound of approval before the two carefully left.

Zim had come back, and now had the voot carrier. It was disguised as a pig.

I'm such a genius! It thought with glee.

But, to his horror, the voot was no longer there. Rather, it was on display for all to see.

It let out a gasp, and felt knots form in its spooch.

I have to get it back somehow!

Zim walked towards it in a cat like manner, hoping to retrieve it.

However, when it was almost about to reach it, it could feel someone grab it by the neck.

"Put me down!" He ordered, as one of these Sauser Morons held him.

"Look! A real alien!"

"Put my master down!" Gir ordered, only for it to get grabbed too.

Dib was attending a UFO convention.

He had skipped skool just to go, and he had told Keef a day before so he wouldn't worry.

They hoped that no one would notice their absence. Otherwise they wouldn't hear the end of it.

He glanced at the folks surrounding him, he hadn't noticed the center piece yet.

They were a bit wary. These Sauser Children people seemed… weird. And not in a good way.

Zim shaked, these stupid morons had locked him in a dog cage. Xyr antennae were flattened with fear. Xe let out whimpers of sadness.

Dib watched as one of them began to speak, but a certain piece of alien technology and a certain alien that was on display caught their eye.

Zim and xyr voot cruiser!

"Zim!" Dib realized.

That alien was his to destroy. His to dissect.

Meanwhile, Zim was trying to convince the Sauser Morons to set him free. But then, he noticed someone in the distance who was coming forward.

Dib.

The Sauser Morons stared at him, murmers erupted from the crowd.

"Dude.. who is this random ass Emo boy?"

"Who's that weirdo goth kid in the trench coat?"

While everyone else was distracted, Gir managed to break free.

"This here is no alien! He's a creation designed by the government! He's observing your behavior!" Dib lied convincingly.

"But then what about the ship?! And the pig?!" The lady questioned.

Gir, in the government man suit, walked in randomly.

"Those are prototype android designs!" He chimed in.

Zim and Dib started walking away, Zim was getting ahold of the pig.

"Why'd you save me?" Zim whispered in confusion, one his antennae flattened

"Don't ask, asshole.." Dib whispered back before they ran off.

Zim and Gir, still in the government man suit, climbed onto the pig before dashing away.

Zim and Gir flew up into the air, Gir hung onto Zim's antennae.

Dib waved as a goodbye.

Gir had ditched the government suit, and threw it on some random building.

Gir and Zim let out cackles, before realizing they were about to crash into a playground.

They both let out a scream, Gir hung onto Zim for dear life and Zim nearly crashed into a slide.

And the two were now gliding on top of the water. "IT BURNS!" Xe yelped.

But then, one of these morons appeared.

"Take me with yooouuu!" She begged, "GET AWAY FROM ME!" Zim screeched before kicking her off the pig.

After nearly crashing into a school bus, Zim managed to get back on track.

Xem and Gir were flying over some buildings, but unfortunately for Zim, xe had gotten distracted by Gir's giggling.

And before Zim knew it, he was about to crash into a convention building.

Zim and Gir let out screeches before finally crashing into this building of doom.

Zim felt knots form in his stomach as he glanced around.

It was the location of another UFO convention.

It was a day after the Sauser Morons incident, thankfully no one noticed that Dib was gone. Or maybe they did and didn't say anything. Which was both a blessing yet also a curse.

Dib walked up to this father's lab. Skool had just gotten out and he'd walked Keef home.

"Hey Dib." Gaz said as she appeared out of no where, causing Dib to yelp with surprise. He flinched.

"Oh my god you scared me!" He spat.

"That's my job." Gaz replied.

The security guard then noticed the two.

"Oh, hello Dib! Hello Gaz!" The security guard greeted, before allowing the two siblings to come inside.

"Why did you have to come here?" Gaz questioned, still mad at Dib for stealing her pizza earlier. "I need Dad to sign something."

Dib sat in the hallway, Gaz was eating pizza. Maybe she wouldn't have to beat Dib's ass.

"What do you need Dad to sign?" She asked, "Meeting slip. For the Swollon Eyeballs." Dib answered.

"Why don't you just forge the stupid slip?" She questioned, "I can't. If I do it'll explode." Dib answered.

"That's stupid." Gaz remarked, before eating more of her pizza. Dib nodded in agreement.

Dib patiently waited.

Dib then rummaged through his coat pocket. It was basically the equivalent to that bag in Mary Poppins. He always had everything on him. A snack, entertainment. You name it.

They grabbed their portable cd player and opened their backpack, looking through their cd's.

They chose "Around the Fur" by Deathtones before closing their eyes and daydreaming along to the music.

They had zoned out, and were the music was the only thing they were focused on.

However, he glanced up at the clock. About an hour had passed.

Dib paused the music and took off his headphones.

And there was his Dad. He going to the dressing room. Dib got up and followed him.

"Hey Dad! Can you-" Dib uttered, before being cut off. "Oh hi son! Sorry, I can't talk at the moment, you'll have to wait." He said before leaving.

Dib just slumped his shoulders and frowned. This was just a waste of time.

They left the room, glancing down at their feet.

"So did you get Dad to sign the stupid slip?" Gaz asked, "No." Dib answered with a sigh, corners of their mouth turned downwards.

Gaz just shook her head in annoyance, before Dib just quietly left.

She watched him exit through the doors of the lab, she frowned a little.

Maybe I do feel bad for them… just this once.

She almost wanted to go after them, to make sure they were okay, but she knew this was useless.

Gaz let out sigh, before kicking at the ground and frowning at herself.

She then seat back down, and headed to the break room.

"Hello Gaz." One of her father's coworkers said.

"Hi.." She frowned with sigh before she placed her messenger bag on the table, and opened it.

She grabbed her laptop, and logged onto her Fanfiction.com account.

She went and checked her reviews before she went to her word processor and began to work on the next chapter of her Vampire Piggy Hunter fanfic.

Dib walked home, glancing around the city on the way there. He saw so many people being happy and full of joy. If he only felt that way right now…

When Dib arrived home, they immediately went to the dark and depressing abyss known as their bedroom.

They threw their backpack to the floor. And yanked their shoes off.

He sat on the floor, which was littered with dirty clothes and just random things he didn't have the energy to pick up.

Dib scolded himself. Why can't I just function like a normal person? He questioned, glancing around his messy room, which was causing him distress.

Clothes scattered everywhere, trash that needed to be taken out, dirty dishes. Dirty coffee mugs and water glasses. But of course, he always told himself that he'd do it later. But when later rolled around, it was always very overwhelming for them. Procrastination at its finest.

Even if they did end up feeling better in the end.

They desperately wanted order. Yet this is something they for some reason could never quite achieve.

Dib started getting changed, and cringed at the way he smelled. He smelled bad. He smelled awful even. He smelled like onions and stale pizza rolls that had been sitting out for far too long. But they just didn't have the energy to go take a shower or bath.

Dib had put on a band shirt he had gotten from Dark Topic and some alien pajama pants. They glanced down at their chest in disgust before they laid on their bed, and logged onto their laptop.

He called Bill and Agent Darkbootie.

"Hello Agent Mothman." Agent Darkbootie and Bill greeted in unison.

"Hi um… sorry but i can't make it to the meeting tonight. My Dad wasn't able to sign the slip for me." Dib apologized with a frown.

Bill looked at him with a sense of empathy and sympathy. "I'm sorry to hear about that. Hopefully you can come to the meeting some other time!" Bill stated, Agent Darkbootie chimed in, in agreement.

"Okay… thank you. Me too. Goodbye." Dib said before logging off with a sigh.

He turned on the overhead light, before they put their laptop away.

Dib then opened their CD player, and grabbed a CD from the shelf. He had started looking through them, before choosing one he'd gotten recently from T.E.S or otherwise, The Entertainment Store.

It was by this newer emo band called BrB Suicide. He had downloaded one of their songs from Mapster out of curiosity and had fallen in love. It was a song from their EP. It may have taken 6 hours to download but it was worth it.

The album he was listening to was BrB Suicide's first album, So Fabulous.

And, the person on the front cover kind of reminded Dib of Zim for some reason. Yet he wasn't sure why.

They opened their sketckbook, and started doodling.

They were trying their Mothman characters they had based off their plushies. Maybe this would help him stop feeling shitty.

He started doodling and making sketches as BrB Suicide's song "I Cry 4 U, Tears of Sin." Was playing in the background.

He was making sad and edgy drawings with the album's lyrics, before finally decided to cut off the music and hit the hay.

They crawled into bed, placing their glasses on their nightstand, they then turned their fan on.

He snuggled his pillow as he wished that they actually had someone to cuddle, or someone who'd cuddle and snuggle them. Not just a pillow that needed to be washed.

They nuzzled their pillow, burying their face into it.

He was wishing he had a special someone to love and to cherish. Even if they thought no girl, boy or anything else would ever love them. It was still hard for them to comprehend the fact Keef was friends with them. A weird paranormal obsessed freak.

It was weird. Dib was his weird alternative, gothic asshole self. But then you had Keef, who was very sweet and looked like a rainbow had vomited on him. Yet somehow they were best friends. Though… they do say that opposites attract. And perhaps their unlikely friendship was that at its finest.

Dib then fell asleep, mumbling about the creatures from above.

Chapter Text

Planet Sylvestra. Mid October. 2001.

Zim roamed the rocky terrain of Sylvestra. Home to the most dangerous creatures of the universe. He was in search of something. Something to add to his collection of specimens. And something to destroy… the Dib.

A Snarl Beast.

"Master, why are we here again?" Gir asked, "I need to find a creature to destroy the Dib." Zim answered.

Soon, Zim spotted a snarl beast. One that resembled a Urthinoid cat.

It smirked, rubbing it's hands together.

"This one shall be perfect." It sneered, then setting a trap with some Urthinoid fish.

Zim and Gir hid behind some rocks, patiently waiting for the little guy to come out.

Soon enough, the Snarl Beast had gotten close to the cage, foolishly walking inside of it. Then, the sound of a large clap was heard.

The Snarl Beast had been captured.

Zim revealed xemself, Gir not long behind.

"You're Zim's now." He sneered, snatching up the Snarl Beast that was now caged.

The Snarl Beast let out growls of protest, but unfortunately for her, Zim didn't care to listen.

Once they were inside of the voot cruiser, Zim took off.

Mysterious smoke filled the area, as Zim's voot cruiser could be faintly seen among the smoke.

It landed inside the top level of its base.

Zim and Gir climbed out the cruiser, the caged Snarl Beast in Zim's hand.

Zim and Gir headed downstairs, to Zim's laboratory . Xe placed the cage on the floor.

"Gir. I need you this watch this… creature. While I go steal some stuff." Xe ordered, "Yes Sir!" Gir saluted.

Zim then disappeared upstairs, and left the base.

"HIII KITTY!" Gir smiled, releasing her.

It went upstairs, and opened the front door.

The Snarl Beast nuzzled him, as if it was her way of thanking it, before she ran out the now opened front door.

When Zim got home, xe was screaming and scrambling around xyr base and laboratory.

"Where is that cat!? How did it escape! I NEED IT FOR MY HUMAN RESEARCH!!" Zim wondered.

It didn't help, given the base had been having security problems.

Little did he know that Gir had let her escape.

Dib was walking some where late at night. He was running up to the convenience store.

He knew Detroit wasn't exactly the best city to do a late night run in. But oh well.

As he walked past Krazy Taco, he couldn't help but notice Zim's house in the drive thru. But for some reason it was in a strange.. dog form?

They rolled their eyes, I'm not saving his ass today. I'm sure he can deal with it himself.

They could over hear Zim saying "Shut your noise tube! Taco-human." Which they rolled their eyes at once again.

Maybe Zim would be fine.

Dib was listening to Cavern City with his portable CD player. Cavern City was an artist he secretly liked. But why did he keep that a secret? Well, he thought it'd make him look like a soft boy. And he didn't want to be seen nor perceived as such. If anyone ever asked him if he liked Cavern City, he'd always lie and say that he hated them.

Dib had finally finished walking down the road, walked down to the small convenience store at the end of the street.

They walked in, greeted by a worker, also known as Jessica's older sister. Her name was Ashley. They greeted her before going to the Suck Monkey dispenser.

Ashley and Jessica were quite different despite being sisters. Ashley was a lot nicer, and usually used being rich for a good cause. Unlike Jessica, who constantly flexed her riches and constantly looked down on others.

Dib mixed both cherry and blue raspberry before they headed to the cash register.

Dib rummaged around in his coat pocket before grabbing some money, "Oh, here's a tip, by the way." He said. He knew convince store workers probably didn't make much. Plus he usually had a good amount of money him. Perks of being a well off kid. Even if Detroit's economy sucked.

Dib then left, Suck Monkey in hand.

They were walking back from the convenience store, until they noticed something strange.

There was a cat outside. But… it didn't look like the average stray you'd find out on the streets. No. It was blue, and had six legs instead of four.

It caught Dib's eye immediately.

They wandered to it with caution. However, the cat quickly let out a snarl. Large, horrifying mouths with sharp teeth formed on its face.

Dib let out a yelp, "D-don't eat me please!" Dib begged, the cat nodded before dropping her head in respect.

She had gone back to normal.

Dib glanced down at the now small, tiny space cat in front of him.

"Wow… I've never seen anything like you before." He remarked in awe.

She let out a confused meow, titling her head.

Dib allowed her to sniff his hand. "Huh… I guess I'm not allergic to space cats-" they remarked with surprise as she nuzzled her head against his hand.

"I guess I'll take you home with me." They said, before gently scooping up the cat, which she surprisingly let him do.

Dib took her inside, Gaz couldn't help but notice. She was sitting on the couch.

"Dib. Where did you get that cat? You know that we have cat allergies, right?" She remarked in confusion, glancing at her sibling. Whom was holding a small blue cat in their hand.

"She's a alien cat, Gaz." Dib clarified, "Isn't she cute?"

"Um. Yeah… But you know she's basically just like wild animal, right?" Gaz questioned, "She could eat you. Probably." "I know! But I can tame her!" Dib insisted, trying to act as if he was actually confidant.

Gaz just rolled her eyes and went back to playing her game as Dib went upstairs.

Dib gently placed the cat on his bed, "What should I name you?" He questioned.

They knew they wanted something space themed, but they weren't sure what exactly.

Until it finally clicked.

"How about Nebula? I can just call you Neb or Nebby for short." Dib suggested, receiving a "Myark!" in approval.

"Okay then, Nebby." They smiled, before gently petting Nebula's head.

"Come on, let's go get you something to eat." Dib suggested, grabbing a collar and a leash.

Dib somehow managed to get the collar on Nebula before leashing her.

Nebula weirdly took well to the leash, much to Dib's surprise.

Dib and Nebula walked downstairs, Gaz looked at him weird.

"Dib. Why are you walking the cat? What do you think she is? A dog?" Gaz questioned, "It's easier this way." Dib insisted.

"Her name is Nebula, by the way." He said.

"Okay.." Gaz said.

Dib and Nebula walked out the door.

Dib was walking down the sidewalk, until he ran into Keef.

"Hey Dib! Hi- wait you got a cat? I thought you were allergic." He asked.

"I am- just not to space cats apparently." Dib said.

Nebula looked at Keef in a wary manner.

Dib glanced at Nebula, "It's okay Neb. Keef isn't going to hurt you! He's my best friend!" Dib assured. But Nebula still seemed a bit unconvinced.

"Wow! What's her name?" Keef asked, eyes fluttering with curiosity.

"Her name's Nebula, but I just call her Neb or Nebby." Dib answered.

"Can I pet her?" Keef pressed, "Sure. Just let her sniff you first."

Keef let Nebula sniff him, and she seemed to like him, nuzzling her head against their hand.

Zim was scrambling everywhere for this damn Snarl Beast.

"Where could she be?!" He questioned, seemingly frustrated.

Gir turned to face him.

"I let her out!" Gir smiled, "Gir?! How could you! You were supposed to watch her! Not free her!" It scolded, Gir flattening its ears.

It was also a bit after Dib and Keef's encounter.

Dib was walking Nebula, they were going somewhere.

However, unfortunately Zim was nearby. He was trying to find Dib.

The Snarl Beast!

"Why do you have my cat, Dib-thing! She is mine!" Zim demanded.

Dib turned around to face his foe.

"Finders Keepers, Zim." Dib spat, Nebula let out a hiss as she caught sight of Zim. The fur on her back stood up, ears flattened, the fur on her tail stick straight.

"Now get out of my sight!" He shouted, kicking Zim in the nads before walking away, Nebula sticking her tongue out at Zim.

"I'll find another way to destroy you, Dib-human!" Zim called out, shaking his fist.

"Ha! I'd like to see you try!" Dib sneered, before disappearing into the distance.

"I hate that stupid Dib!" Zim grunted with clenched teeth. "I dunno master… he seems nice.." Gir mentioned, disagreeing.

"No Gir! Dib is NOT nice. He is NOT our friend. They are our enemy!" Zim proclaimed, "Ah man.." Gir frowned, flattening its ears.

It was later that very night, Dib wandered around Midtown, walking Nebula.

He was going to Bill's house.

He had discovered it in a address book recently.

They had walked down the east side of Woodward Avenue to get there.

They felt a bit uneasy. Given it was night time. It was currently 8 pm. Two hours before curfew.

They walked to Bill's house, and rung to the doorbell.

"Yes?" Bill questioned, before noticing Dib.

"Dib? What are you doing here at this hour, young man?! That's quite dangerous!"

"I know.."

"You could've been abducted or jumped!" Bill fretted.

"But I'm okay! That's what matters. I have something I'd like to show you!" Dib smiled, picking up Nebula in his hands, who let out a "Myark!"

"Oh? What is that?" Bill questioned, allowing Dib inside.

"It's my alien cat! Her name is Nebula!"

"Ah! What a interesting little creature!" Bill remarked.

"She's a Snarl Beast. But she seems to like me!" Dib said.

"What's a Snarl Beast?" Bill questioned, "I've never heard of them before."

"Oh! They're these aliens from planet Sylvestra! Which is home to the most dangerous creatures in the universe. Apparently." Dib explained, "To be honest… I don't know much about either. But Zim stole her from there. Dib continued, Nebula nodded her head.

"He got mad when he saw me with her. So I kicked him in the nads." Dib laughed, finishing.

"Well, I'm glad she's no longer in its possession. Who knows what it would've done to the poor thing." Bill stated.

"Anyway, I think you should get home now. Your Mother must be worried." Bill advised.

"Oh, I don't have a Mom.." Dib said awkwardly.

"Oh? I'm sorry about that-" Bill apologized.

"Nah, it's fine. I've never even had a Mom to begin with." He chuckled, insisting. "My Dad literally just created me in a lab."

"Ah, I see." Bill said.

"Well, I'll see you soon. Stay safe." Bill adds, "Okay! Bye, thank you!" Dib smiled, before leaving.

But, one thing lingered on Bill's mind after Dib mentioned being a clone baby.

That sounds… strangely familiar.

Zim and Gir sat on the roof, with some blankets as a chilly autumn wind blew by.

Zim was still upset about his defeat.

Gir noticed something strange in the sky.

A strange, burning, flaming object shooting by.

"Hey master? What's that?" It questioned, pointing to a strange, burning object in the distance.

Zim let out a grunt of annoyance.

"It's probably just a meteorite, or as the stinky humans would say, "A shooting star." Zim grumbled.

"Are you still mad at me for accidentally switching the computer brain with mine?" Gir questioned quietly, his small silver and cyan antennae flattened.

"Yes Gir! I am still mad at you. I'm also still mad at you for letting that Snarl Beast out." Zim yelled.

"I'm sorry Master." Gir cried, Zim flattened his antennae.

I shouldn't have been that hard on him…

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled…" Zim apologized with a sigh, wrapping xyr arms around Gir.

"Thank you, Master." Gir said, before nuzzling against Zim.

The two soon headed inside, Gir yapped about cupcakes as they walked.

Chapter Text

The recent Bad Bad Rubber Piggy and Hamster incidents still lived rent free in Dib's mind.

He couldn't believe Zim almost managed to get away with them.

At least I managed to convince him to help the humans during the hamster incident… Dib thought a sigh. Nebula dozed on his lap.

Zim paced around the room, "Stupid Dib! Stupid Dib!" He shouted, "I dunno master… Bighead seems nice.." Gir frowned, "He most certainly not! They always ruin EVERYTHING! I hate his stupid guts! I just want rip him open and-"

Zim then stopped himself, realizing he shouldn't use such language around Gir.

"Sorry Gir." It frowned, "Please don't repeat what I just said." It begged, receiving a okie dokie from Gir in response.

Xe was going to xyr revenge on Dib one of these days!

It was a new day. Zim sat at lunch by himself like usual, until Dib showed up, that is.

Zim felt a sense of unease at the baloney that was on his plate. And also the shitty re-fried beans. He couldn't eat that.

Dib glanced at him in a smug manner.

"Scared of beans, Spaceboy?" Dib smirked, "No!" Zim whined in response.

Zim picked at his food, gagging. It couldn't eat that.

"Scared of meat, Spaceboy?" Dib questioned smugly with a smirk, getting up in Zim face.

Zim slapped him in a fit of anger.

Dib yelped before he grabbed the piece of baloney off of his lunch tray, and threw it at Zim.

"IT BURNS!! IT BURNS!!" Zim cried, screaming.

Dib walked away, laughing at Zim's misery. Schadenfreude at it's finest.

"YOU WILL PAY DIB!!! YOU WILL PAY!!" Zim screeched, plotting xyr revenge.

Zim then threw xyr re-fried beans at Dib, the start of xyr plan of revenge.

"Food fight!" One of the kids screamed, and before everyone knew it, food was being thrown everywhere.

From sandwiches to snacks, to pudding to homemade food. It was being thrown everywhere and at everyone.

Folks took refuge underneath tables, or used lunch trays as armor.

Zim and Dib continued fighting, throwing food and spitting insults.

Gaz just watched the chaos unfold, unfazed. She had grown used to the Skool's chaotic environment at this point.

But then, the room fell eerily silent. Ms Bitters had entered the room.

She seemed quite angry. "Okay, who started this mess?" She demanded.

Everyone then pointed to Zim and Dib.

Ms Bitters let out a sigh, "Of course. Of course it had to be you two. You're both going to have to clean up this mess." She stated, "You're in 6th grade for goodness sake. You should know better then this." before leaving the room. The other students left as well.

Zim and Dib exchanged glances of anger and annoyance, the two let out harrumphs before getting to work.

Dib glanced around. This task seemed quite daunting. They could barely keep their bedroom clean, so how would they managed to clean the lunch room?

Zim glanced around, terrified of the amount of germs that lingered in that room.

It was later that night.

Zim smirked in malice as he held the small tack, laced with baloney DNA.

If any person would come into contact with it, they'd slowly but surely turn into baloney themself.

Zim was crawling through the Skool's dusty, musty air vent, before lowering himself into Ms Bitters' classroom.

It let out malicious giggles as it placed the tack on Dib's seat. How evil!

Dib walked into class the next morning,

But, before Dib sat down, he noticed a thumbtack on his chair.

He picked it up, glancing at Zim.

"You really were gonna get revenge on me by using a measly tack? How pathetic." He chuckled, then throwing the tack at Zim.

Zim flinched, before glancing down at his forearm in horror.

It had impaled it's skin.

Zim felt knots form in its stomach, feeling like someone had just kicked it.

NOOOOOOOO!!!! He screamed, Dib just laughed. Oh how I love seeing him in pain!! Dib thought with a adorable look on their face, doing the caret w caret expression as they sat down at their seat again.

Zim's body started to become more baloney like by the second.

Zim scrambled around its laboratory, desperately trying to gain access to its systems.

"I am Zim!" It declared.

"Intruder is Baloney." The computer blared.

Zim began to tear up out of stress, its systems did not recognize it. There was only one person xe could go to.

Dib.

Zim stood on Dib's doorstep, it about 8 at night.

Dib was chilling on the couch, he was watching Beaver and Buff-coat. They didn't usually pay much attention to it, it was weirdly more of Gaz's show. They were surprised that she even liked it, given the amount of crude and sexual humor in it. Something she usually wasn't a fan of. She always said "Beaver and Buff-Coat are the only people who can do it right."

But much to Dib's annoyance, someone had rung the doorbell.

"Coming." He groaned in a annoyed manner.

Meanwhile Zim waited for Dib.

Dib opened the door, he was wearing baggy shirt and a robe as attempt to conceal his chest, he was also wearing pajama pants and socks.

Zim felt very anxious, and Dib seemed surprised.

"I need your help, Dib! My labs don't recognize me as myself! You're the only person I can go to!" Zim begged.

Dib let out a sigh, "Alright. I guess I'll help you. It's kind of my fault this happened anyway.

"We will work together! Mortal enemies! WORKING TOGETHER!!" Dib proclaimed.

Dib allowed Zim inside, heading to Professor Membrane's lab in the basement.

The two walked through the kitchen, Gaz noticed the two as she played her Gameslave.

"So your gonna help your boyfriend?" She questioned, deadpanning. "HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND! I HATE HIM!" Zim and Dib shouted in unison. Gaz rolled her eyes as the two walked away.

Zim and Dib desperately tried to find a cure.

One they had created had failed, only resulting in the baloney deteriorating.

Zim began to sniffle, crying and whimpering. Dib frowned sadly, opening his arms in attempt to comfort him.

Zim crashed into Dib's chest, much to his surprise.

Dib began to gently stroke it. They felt a ache in their stomach, knowing they'd done something wrong.

The two still searched for a cure the whole night, but were still unsuccessful. Failure after failure. Dib felt increasingly worse each and every time.

It was now the crack of dawn. Many hours spent.

Dib glanced at Zim, who'd now turned into baloney.

"I'm sorry.. This is all my fault." He apologized with a frown, getting down to Zim's level and hugging him tight. Even if he was smelly, just like baloney.

It was a few days later, Gaz was playing her Gameslave console, Dib was reading some paranormal magazine.

Thankfully Dib had actually managed to find a cure for the baloney thing.

"Come on! Bigfoot would never say that!" Dib whined, much to Gaz's annoyance. "Why do you have to that in there? I'm trying to play my game!"

She wasn't really playing attention to the TV, until a certain advertisement came on.

Gaz's eyes widened in the most adorable way imaginable. Sparkling with wonder and adoration.

It was an advertisement for the new Gameslave console, it'd be coming out at midnight.

Gaz's jaw dropped, eyes wide. She threw her now obsolete Gameslave 1 into the trash. It broke.

She immediately got off the couch and got ready.

Professor Membrane glanced at Gaz curiously, "Where are you going?" He questioned, "I'm going to the mall. They just released a new Gameslave console." Gaz answered, uncharacteristically happy. Holding a bat in hand.

"You should have Dib go with you. He's older then you." Professor Membrane suggested, Gaz let out a sigh, "Dad! He's only 6 months older then me! I'm turning 11 soon!" She pointed out.

"Well. He's still going with you." Professor Membrane stated, "But Mysterious Mysteries was about to start!" Dib whined, "Alright, then after Dib's show is over." Professor Membrane finished.

Gaz let out a grunt of anger, clenching her fist.

Stupid Dib!!!

By the time the two arrived, the line was quite long.

Gaz looked at the line in horror, before turning to face Dib in anger, shaking her fist. Ready to punch him.

"It was a really good episode-" Dib smiled nervously, despite Gaz's rage.

I don't want anything to with them. They aren't ruining this for me. Gaz quickly decided.

"Hey Dib. I think I saw a Chupacabra or something go into that parking garage." Gaz lied, just wanting Dib to go away.

"But? There's no goats for miles??" He questioned, "I saw one! I swear!" Gaz lied insistently.

Dib then dashed off, much to Gaz's pleasure.

Gaz got in line, noticing Poonchy.

She gagged at the gross stench among the crowd, just full of gross, disgusting, stinky boys.

Have these guys ever heard of body wash?

They were probably the same people who'd return disgusting, roach infested consoles and video tapes to Game Shop and Video Pit.

However, among all the smelly gamer boys like Poonchy, there was one girl other then Gaz that stood out from the crowd.

She had dark blue or maybe indigo hair, dark makeup big chunky boots and a purple dress with some grayish magenta accents. Her dress also featured a strange logo on the front.

She smelled strongly of Heaven by G.A.P.

Wow… she seems really cool..

Gaz was daydreaming about her, until somebody showed up.

"HIII!! My name's Iggins! What's yours?" Iggins asked in a obnoxious manner.

"Gaz." Gaz replied in a cold, monotone manner. She whipped off the spit that Iggins had gotten on her off her face.

It seemed like the girl standing in front of her was annoyed as well.

Iggins pontificated about he was a better gamer then Gaz the entire time. She was angry, annoyed and disgusted the entire time. Misogyny much? She thought to herself, just wanted to give Iggins a big fat knuckle sandwich.

Gaz waited and waited, until she finally was at the front of line.

"You're in luck, this is the last one." The clerk stated, before handing Gaz the new-in-box console after she paid.

But then, before she could even take in the console's beauty, Iggins came in and snatched it right from her.

Everyone in that store let out a gasp, the girl who'd been standing in front of Gaz was disgusted, and so was clerk.

"SECURITY-" the store clerk shouted, "No. it's fine, I'll deal with him myself." Gaz insisted.

"This guy sucks." The blue haired girl stated, "I'm gonna beat his ass." Gaz groaned, before she went after him.

She was not far behind Gaz. She was going to watch this all play out.

Gaz bolted after Iggins, chasing after his car.

On her way there she snatched a scooter, following Iggins home. Tak used her pak legs and hid, watching Gaz's every move.

Gaz had reached Iggins' residence and hid.

Iggins went inside after his mom said goodbye.

He walked inside, but for some strange reason he felt a sense of unease. He brushed it off though, and walked to the bathroom.

Gaz was floating outside his bathroom window.

She appeared and reappeared as the thunder boomed and rumbled.

Iggins shivered, feeling a strange presence.

She wrote a message on the mirror with the fog that lingered on it. That was normal for a human to do.

The Game is mine.

Iggins let out a yelp, turning to face the window.

"B-but you're-" He uttered, before noticing that Gaz was in the bathroom with him, holding the bag of batteries.

Iggins then realized something, he hadn't locked the door.

Iggins then ran to the closet in terror, the Gameslave blinked "low battery" over and over again.

Iggins then desperately searched around, trying to find batteries in the house.

He finally went to the bathroom again, as he kept a pair of batteries behind a glass panel in there.

But when he entered it, he saw Gaz standing there in anger, holding a sack with all the batteries.

"Give me the damn console." She demanded, "I bought it and you stole it from me!"

"But I'm better gamer then you!" Iggins whined.

Gaz clenched it, "I hope you like nightmare worlds!" She screamed, before dropping the sack of batteries into the toilet, causing electric flashes.

Iggins scrambled away, and headed to the mall to get more batteries.

Gaz quickly followed, and so did the other, mysterious girl.

Gaz watched as Iggins asked a mall employee for batteries, "Batteries? 50th floor." She stated.

Iggins went on the elevator, and Gaz followed.

Now, the two were in the elevator together. Iggins had pressed the 50th floor button and many others several times out of fear.

Iggins was starting to cry, "Fine! Here! I'm still a better gamer then you!" He cried, handing the console to Gaz.

They then reached Gaz's floor. 50th.

She then left the elevator, "The rightful owner as been restored." She declared, before levitating in the air. Her hair was not longer wet and wavy, and straightened and styled. Batteries inserted into the console.

She smirked as she watched Iggins' fall to his likely demise, "And that it why you never fuck with me." She sneered.

She noticed the girl she'd seen earlier..

"Oh, hi. I'm not sure that i caught your name." She mentioned, "Oh. My name is Gaz. What's yours?"

"Tak." Tak answered.

"That's a cool name." Gaz complimented.

"Oh.. thank you." Gaz replied shyly with a tiny smile.

"Uh… do you want to be friends?" Tak asked.

Gaz stopped to think.

"I haven't had a friend in quite sometime.. But sure." She replied softly.

The two then left the building, and were now on the outside. The elevator that Iggins had been in had crashed.

Dib finally found Gaz, very pissed.

"Gaz. There no f-" He began, enraged, before noticing a strange and unfamiliar girl standing next to Gaz.

"Dib, this is my new friend, Tak." Gaz said, Dib blinked in confusion. Gaz having a friend after him and her was something he never thought he'd ever hear about.

"Uh… Hi Tak?" Dib greeted, "Sorry about Dib. He's a bit awkward. He doesn't know how to talk anybody and can't get a girl or anybody to save his life. Probably because they stink." Gaz apologized, Dib looked offended.

Tak and Gaz talked the whole way home, Dib stayed close behind, before Dib and Gaz arrived home and Tak left.

Chapter Text

Dib rushed down the hall, it looked grotesque. Tubes and wires lingered around the dark cave like structure.

Dib flinched as they received another flash of this… nightmare world.

It was Halloween and a Wednesday.

Gaz had just turned 11 a few days ago, on the 26th.

Dib was wearing his Mothman costume he had made just for the occasion. Gaz was dressed up as Lydia from Bug-juice. Oh well, that made sense. She was a goth, just like her.

Tak and Gaz were going to be trick or treating with each other.

Zim had never heard of this "Halloween" tradition. They had nothing like that on Irk.

Zim glanced around the room in horror, Candy eating zombies!

Zim clenched its teeth. The day was off to a strange start, Dib still wasn't here.

Dib then burst in the room, out of breath. Panting.

"Late again, Dib." Ms Bitters remarked, frustrated. "Hi Ms Bitters! Sorry I'm late! HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE VISIONS!" He stated, "It's called life Dib. Now sit your ass down." She replied.

Dib sat down, he was being all jittery.

Keef noticed, "Are you okay?" He asked.

"No.." Dib answered, turning around to face him in a unhinged manner.

"Do you want to talk about it? It may make you feel better." Keef suggested, whispering.

Dib shook his head, Okay. He's given me a boundary. I shall not cross it! Keef thought with determination. "Okay." Keef replied quietly in a respectful manner. Wow! I did it! They thought in glee.

They were glad they were getting better at respecting boundaries.

Dib turned back around, he jittered as he watched his hands disappear before his eyes in flashes, before he raised his hand.

"Yes, Dib." Ms Bitters grunted, "Can I please use the restroom?" They asked nervously, "Sure. Go on." She grumbled lethargically.

Dib rose from their seat, dashing toward the bathroom.

Zim found it a bit strange. He watched Dib's movements like a hawk.

He then glanced at Keef, "Hey. What's up with Dib?" He questioned.

Keef has got know. Right? It figured.

Keef gave a shrug, "I dunno, I ain't go no idea. I think wants to be left alone." He stated, his southern accent coming out for once. Keef quickly froze after that, mortified. YOU WANNA GO GET 'EM PEACHES, DARLIN'? He thought in the most exaggerated southern Georgian accent imaginable.

Zim turned away, I'm going to go investigate. Perhaps the stinky Dib-worm is up to no good!

Dib was no longer in the school bathroom, but rather a strange place. They'd seen similar places in these flashes a few times, but not this one specifically.

They shivered. They were in a strange cage. Strange figures surrounded it. The room was dark and gloomy. Knots formed in Dib's stomach.

The room was dark and damp.

"Where am I?" He questioned with a gulp, trying to act like he wasn't terrified of what was to come.

Then, a of posse creepy monsters cornered him. The monsters had large toothy mouths, and were quite hairy. With the addition of creepy, cat like eyes.

"You will never be a real boy. You will never be a real person." The monsters snickered with a cackle, Dib backed away. One particular monster looked at him menacingly. "Keef's going to find out your "secret" and it'll ruin everything!! He'll hate your guts and he'll-"

"Keef wouldn't do that!" Dib argued, right?

Ah yea, another new thing to be paranoid about.

And then, a creepy, grotesque, nightmare version of Keef appeared from the shadows.

"I'm only your friend because I feel sorry for you! I don't actually like you!" He cackled in a distorted, unsettling and uncanny voice.

Dib backed away, shaking their head. That couldn't be true. Right?

Dib shivered before they ran away screeching, desperately trying to find a way out of this terrible place.

They then managed to escape out the cage door, before running down the dreadful, dank cavernous halls. They then noticed a strange figure at the end of the hall. A pale, rotten corpse of a little girl.

She had frizzy, longish very dark brown, almost black wavy hair. She had scythe on top of her head. Her glasses looked messed up and her limbs were barely attached to her body. She looked quite pale, almost blue. She looked very confused, blinking her eyes. "We're a guy now?" She questioned innocently, "Yeah?" Dib replied, blinking in confusion as well.

This was certainly strange, "Oh. Okay. Cool. Makes sense." She said quietly, before disappearing into the abyss known as the hallway. Dib blinked in confusion. "Did I just have a conversation with my younger self?" They questioned in disbelief. "I guess so… I mean that little girl was a rotten corpse.."

He wasn't that person anymore. It made sense.

He continued on after the strange encounter.

Zim sneaked out of class when no one was looking, he looked around for Dib. Until he noticed him getting snatched by a group of people in protective white suits with a frowning face logo on the front.

The workers of "The Krazy House for Krazy children."

Zim felt a pang of anxiety.

I must protect the Dib! He decided, before jumping onto the shoulders of one of the workers.

The workers threw Dib inside the back of the truck after putting some strange collar device on his neck, and noticed Zim's presence.

"Zim!" He shouted suddenly, but Zim then disappeared.

Zim climbed off the shoulder of one of the workers before

"Wow. Zim feeling empathy and or sympathy to someone? That's pure insanity!" Dib proclaimed.

"I feel more sympathy then you think. Even if the empathy part is hard at times." Zim clarified

When they arrived, Zim carefully snunk inside of building, it was now in the over hang above a room.

Dib was below, hooked up to a strange machine.

Zim could see Dib's father overseeing.

"Hello my poor insane child. I had a feeling you'd end up here one day.." Professor Membrane remarked with a sigh, Dib seemed very surprised.

Zim could tell that Dib was having feelings of trepidation just by studying the look on their face.

But then, they were taken to another room.

Zim watched carefully, before following, crawling along the ceiling with xyr pak legs.

Zim had followed Dib, they were put in a room.

Once the coast was clear, Zim appeared from the shadows.

"Zim? You followed them?" Dib gasped, "Yes, Zim did in fact follow the asylum slaves." Zim confirmed.

Zim noticed the change in Dib's expression, he seemed a bit relieved rather than frightened or defensive.

"Zim is going to help you get out of here, Zim suppose's. You did help me find a cure for the baloney thing." Zim declared with a grumble.

Dib began to do a happy dance, grabbing Zim's hands, however, the two began to fade into the nightmare world.

The two crashed with a thud, Zim dusted off its knees.

It glanced around, this world looked even more horrific then backwater planet of "Urth."

"What is this place, Dib-thing?!" Zim demanded, "The nightmare world that apparently exists in my head.." Dib answered shamefully.

Zim felt a sense of rage, "You seriously decided to drag Zim HERE?!" Xe began furiously, "Oh yeah? Well I had no idea that were even going to end up here in the first place!" Dib spat.

Zim was trying to catch up with Dib, "Where are you going?" He questioned in between pants, "I'm trying to find my house." Dib answered, "Maybe my Dad the same device in this universe."

The two stopped once they arrived, There it was.

The nightmare version of Dib's home.

Dib glanced at Zim.

"Please keep watch."

"Alright. Fine."

Dib entered his house, rushing inside, hoping there would be a way.

However, the nightmare version of his father hovered toward him, mysterious clouds of smoke surrounding him.

"We're gonna eat your head." Nightmare Gaz sneered.

Then, a group of monsters broke in.

"It's him! The boy with the flashing neck!"

Dib let out a scream before they dragged him away, Zim turned around, only to see what was happening.

Zim felt xyr spooch beat faster, xe began to shake and clench xyr teeth.

I must do something!

Zim desperately searched the area for something, something to get to Dib in.

He quickly spotted a strange abandoned vehicle in the distance.

He quickly ran towards it, and climbed into the cockpit.

It glanced around it, looking at the controls.

"This will be easy." It simpered before pulling back a lever, on the quest for Dib.

Zim eventually found the weird nightmare version of Skool.

"IM COMING, DIB-STINK!!!" Zim declared, before pressing a button.

The wall broke with a loud crash, dust and bricks falling to ground. Broken and destroyed.

Zim grabbed Dib, whom had a portal opened inside his head. Zim was now squeezing him.

"MY ORGANS-"

Zim stared into Dib's eyes.

Dib was quite upset, "Are you still mad at me for dragging you here by accident.

"I'm not here because I like you Dib! I'm just here for your filthy gargantuan head!" Zim blushed.

Tsundere much? "Oh so now it's gargantuan?!" Dib spat, blushing slightly.

The two then took off, they then settled down somewhere.

"Where is the way out?" Zim wondered, "I think the portal in my head is the only way.." Dib frowned.

Zim gagged before entering the portal, Dib let out screams. Once Zim had fully entered the portal, Dib had to turn themself inside out in order to get back, in a gross, disgusting, revolting and last but not least gruesome manner.

Trick-or-Treaters roamed the streets, Tak and Gaz walked together, going door to door in their costumes.

Zim and Dib crashed again with a thud, but they'd managed to get back home.

Zim looked around nervously, "They're just Trick or Treating, Zim." Dib sighed. "It's this fun thing people of all ages do where they knock on each others door in costumes and get candy or other treats or get tricked." Dib clarified. "You should try it yourself." He said before walking away.

Zim flattened one of his antennae under his wig.

Maybe this "Halloween" tradition wasn't as bad as he thought.

When Dib arrived home after some Trick or Treating, him and Keef sat on the front porch.

For some reason Keef was dressed up as a paprika bottle of all things.

"Hey, where were you?" Keef asked, concerned. "I was trapped… in a nightmare world that apparently exists in my head. Zim was there with me.. and said he some weird Tsundere type shit. That's normal for enemies though." Dib explained.

"Wow. I'm sorry about that.." Keef frowned, they looked truly sorry. "Also, what exactly did it say?" They add curiously.

"I'm not here because I like you Dib! I'm just here for your filthy gargantuan head!" Dib mocked, Keef let out a laugh.

Dib let out one too, Keef's laugh was certainly contagious.

"Your laugh is really silly. In a good way." Keef commented nicely, "Oh- thank you." Dib replied, flattered.

"Off topic, but why are you dressed up as paprika of all things?" Dib questioned.

"It's based this inside joke I have with my cousin Luden.. they love the cough drop brand so much they named themself after it and they even dressed up as it this Halloween.." Keef clarified. Dib looked both concerned yet also surprised.

"Anyway, i'm glad you got out of there!" They said.

"Me too… but there's just- something I don't understand." Dib sighed.

"Oh?" Keef uttered curiously.

"How come there wasn't a nightmare version of Zim? There was one of me, you, my family. Everyone else. But… no Zim.?" Dib questioned.

Keef paused to think.

"Well… he kind of is your worst nightmare, you know? An alien Invader from beyond the stars who's plan is to destroy all mankind and become overlord of the Earth. Sounds like a paranormal investigator's worst nightmare too me." Keef mentioned.

Dib froze. Now it all made sense.

"True.." He said.

Zim really was his worst nightmare.

Once Dib was inside, he had somehow managed to gain the motivation to clean himself up, and wash his hair.

His hair was now all wavy, still dripping wet. His hair scythe hung down, it no longer look straight and pointy, but wavy and softened.

Maybe being nice and clean wasn't that bad..

Dib logged onto his computer, cringing at the dirty, crumb ridden keyboard, and finally decided to clean it.

He then called Bill.

"Hey kid, what's up?" He greeted, "I have had a important realization." Dib began, Bill looked curious.

"Zim is my worst nightmare." Dib proclaimed, "Ah, I figured." Bill agreed.

"I got trapped in this nightmare world that's in my head… apparently. But… there wasn't a nightmare version of him.. and my best friend Keef pointed that out.." Dib said.

"Are you alright?" Bill questioned, very concerned.

"Yeah.. I'm okay now.." Dib sighed, "Do you need help?"

"I would get help… it's just- my Dad thinks I'm insane and stuff and me asking for help would probably further confirm it for him… he calls me his poor insane son or child. He doesn't give my sister the same treatment though." Dib went on, "Even though she's just as weird… she's programmed her dolls and toys to feed on human flesh for goodness sake." They mentioned.

Bill was facepalming and shaking his head, "Gee kid, I'm so sorry to hear about that." Bill apologized.

"No- it's fine. I'm used to it at this point." Dib assured.

"Well, that doesn't mean it's okay." Bill said, drinking his coffee.

"Anyway, you should probably get to bed. It's getting late." Bill advised, "Yeah. Good night." Dib yawned before him and Bill exchanged goodbyes.

Dib hung up, crawling into bed, not knowing that there would be a shocking reveal tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Dib and Bill were on a mission to investigate some local sightings of the Michigan Dog Man.

However, beforehand, the two decided to get something to eat.

"Where do you want to eat at?" Bill asked, "Is Burrito King fine?" Dib pressed, "Sure. That sounds good." Bill answered, "Let's roll."

The two then drove off, M.J played from Bill's stero.

"How was school today?" He asked, Dib was a bit surprised that he had asked. "Uh… the usual. Me and Zim got into a fight. I won." Dib boasted.

"Did you get in trouble for that?" Bill asked, "Nope." Dib bragged.

The two then pulled up into the Burrito King drive thru.

Bill placed his order, and then Dib placed his, "Yeah can I please get a salmon burrito with fajita veggies, extra cheese and black beans. With cilantro lime rice." He said.

Once the two got the food, Bill pulled into a parking space to enjoy the food.

Bill rolled his eyes at a billboard advertising Membrane Labs that wasn't far away.

"Ugh. Not him." Bill remarked in annoyance.

"Yeah… he's a bit much sometimes…" Dib chimed in, after eating some of his burrito.

"You know him?" Bill questioned, turning to face Dib, raising his eyebrow. He also lifted up the lenses on his shades, revealing his two different colored eyes, one blue, the other green.

"Yeah.. he's my Dad." Dib revealed.

"Damn. You're Gerard's son? I should've known when you mentioned being a clone baby! But I thought he wasn't a family man." Bill pressed.

"No- Gerard Gay from Micheal Romance isn’t my Dad-" Dib clarified.

"No Dib, Gerard is your father’s first name.” Bill clarified back. How does this poor kid not even know their father's first name?

"Really? How'd you know that?" Dib questioned curiously.

Bill let out a deep sigh.

"It's a long story- but to cut it short. Our paths did cross." Bill admitted.

"What? Really? How?" Dib pressed.

"We met when we were around your age. I can still remember first meeting him. It wasn't exactly pleasant.." Bill began.

"Class. We have a new student. His name is Bill. Do you have anything you'd like to tell us about yourself?"

"I love ghosts!!! And aliens!!" Bill proclaimed.

"NOT SCIENTIFICALLY POSSIBLE!" A girl yelled from the back.

"[Redacted], please stop this nonsense. It isn't funny."

"And as time went on, we continued to be foes." Bill went on. "We hated each other."

"You continued to be hoes?" Dib questioned.

"No Dib, foes. Enemies." Bill clarified. He had to stop himself from laughing.

"Well. Anyway. Until one day that is. We had to hang out together because our mutual friend was gone."

Bill and Gerard sat on the bleachers. Their mutual friend, Vera, was gone.

"Uh… hi Bill.." Gerard began awkwardly, trying to start a conversation.

"Hi Gerard." Bill replied,

The two began to chat to break the awkward silence. Maybe they weren't as bad as the two previously thought.

"And well… we had hit it off." Bill said.

"Yeah but what happened next? How come you guys aren't thing anymore? My Dad never talks about you." Dib pressed.

"Well Dib, we were happy for a few years. I even helped your Dad get his name legally changed and that stuff. But getting married the second you turn 18 isn't always the best idea.." Bill sighed.

"MY DAD WAS MARRIED?! AND HE NEVER TOLD ME?!" Dib ejaculated in shock with a gasp, jaw dropped, eyes wide. Absolutely flabbergasted.

"I guess he just never found the time to tell you. Probably because he's to caught up in his stupid science!" Bill frowned.

Bill stormed downstairs.

He let out a huff of anger.

"I want a divorce." He proclaimed coldly, "What!? Why?"

"You do the same shit over and over again. This isn't working. You can't balance your work and family."

"Oh yeah? Well at least I have a job! You are still struggling to find a one!"

The two continued to fight, spitting nasty insult after nasty insult at one another, until Bill finally took his belongings and left.

"And that's how me and your father got a divorce. It was a nasty one. Thank god I was employed when that happened. Then I dated some other people. Then, a few years later I met my current wife." Bill finished.

"Wow.. I never knew my Dad was married at some point.. i had no idea that no idea that you even knew him. He's never talked about you. Ever. I think I remember him mentioning Vera once or twice but never you." Dib said.

"That makes sense. We had a bitter divorce. I haven't seen him or spoken to him since. And that was about… 13 years ago I want to say? He was 20 when and Gaz were born, and you two were born two years after." Bill replied, sipping his Lemon Lime soda.

"So you guys got divorced in 1988?" Dib guessed. "Yes." Bill confirmed.

"Wow.. I never knew my Dad ever got hoes." Dib remarked, Bill let out a sigh, really trying hard to not laugh. "Dib, please do not word it like that." He begged.

"No because everybody wants to get with my Dad for some reason. They wanna-" Dib began, "Please do not tell me about that- I've heard my fair share of horror stories already. I even have a few myself." Bill begged, before Dib nodded.

"Sorry this is just a lot to take in.. I didn't really know much about my Dad's past until you told me everything… hell I don't even know much about my family in general.. other than that my grandparents immigrated to here from Mexico in the early 70s.. my grandparents died before I was born. The way they died was really weird too.." Dib rambled.

"My Dad avoids talking about them for some reason.. he always really secretive about our family and I don't why." They mentioned. Bill let out a sigh, Gerard still hasn't told Dib and his sister that they're not-

But Bill's thoughts were interrupted by Dib. "Did you know my grandparents? What were they like?" They asked, turning to Bill curiously. "I tried summoning them once but my Dad got mad.."

"Yes, indeed! I did in fact know them. Your Grandma liked me, but your Granddad didn't. Maybe it was because of the whole paranormal investigator thing." Bill confirmed, "They were very good cooks too." He mentioned.

"Wow… I certainly didn't inherit those genes.." Dib remarked, "Well, you still inherited your fangs." Bill smiled, "Your Dad got those from both his parents. They both had fang-like canines." He adds.

"Yeah.. everyone thinks it's weird but I think it's cool." Dib smiled, "Me too." Bill chimed in.

"Well anyway, how about we get to investigating?" Dib suggested, "Sounds like a plan." Bill replied.

Unfortunately for two though, the investigation was unsuccessful. No Dog man was found.

Dib glanced around with a sorrowful expression. He seemed quite bummed out.

Bill glanced down at the time on his watch.

It was 9:30.

"Well. It's getting kind of late. I think we should get you back home before your sister notices and before your father gets home." Bill suggested.

Dib glanced at Bill, "If I was gone, Gaz wouldn't notice or care." They pointed out, "Who's Gaz? Is that your sister's name?" Bill asked, "Yeah. She's a bitch." Dib confirmed, kicking at the ground. Bill continued to listen.

"She's always mad." Dib continued, "I'm sorry to hear that." Bill apologized with a frown, "It's okay. I'm used to it." Dib insisted, before the two hopped in the car.

The two drove as Never Meant by American Feet-ball softly in the background. Bill turned to glance at Dib, "Why are they called "American Feet-ball?" Bill questioned, Dib shrugged.

"You mentioned that you had a wife, what's she like?" He said.

"Oh. Her name's Betty. Sweet as pie. She's usually quiet. She likes sewing and to craft. We met at a paranormal convention once and hit it off." Bill replied with a smile.

"She's one of the best things that's ever happened to me." He adds. "That's nice." Dib commented. If only I could find someone like that… "Yes, very."

"I hope i find someone like that one day." Dib hoped, gazing out the window at the sunset, "I'm sure you will." Bill assured, "It may take time, but you'll eventually find that person. It doesn't even have to be romantic or anything. Just a good friend, or something strange in-between." He adds.

"Thank you." Dib murmured. "Your welcome." Bill replied.

Bill pulled into the Membrane's driveway, thankfully Professor Membrane had not arrived home yet.

"Alright kid, stay safe." Bill advised, Dib nodded before he grabbed his stuff, the two exchanged goodbyes before Dib left.

Dib and Bill waved to each other before Bill drove off, Dib went inside.

Gaz had come downstairs, "Where were you?" She questioned, "Doing important stuff." Dib answered, before walking away.

"Oh by the way, I made dinner." Gaz mentioned, Dib turned around to face her. "It's spaghetti. It was all we had. Also don't worry, it's the good sauce. Not the disgusting stuff." Gaz assured.

"Oh- thank you? I'll eat later." Dib said, before going upstairs, Gaz is actually being nice to me for once?

Dib was then greeted by Nebula. He knelt down to pet her, she let out happy purrs.

"Oh. I also fed her. I gave her some meat, she liked it." Gaz said, Dib looked surprised, but thanked her anyway.

Once Dib went up to their room, Nebula followed. Many questions circulated in Dib's head. One thing was on their mind.

What other secrets was their father keeping? What lurked beneath their very nose?

Chapter Text

Zim stared at his screen, using his telephone. Drinking a can of space cola.

"What's wrong master?" Gir questioned as it read Zim's shocked and annoyed expression, meeting his gaze.

Zim glanced down at the robot.

"The other Invaders have completed their conquests and invasions!! But haven't!" Zim explained, it let out a sigh. It always took it longer to do things the average Irken could do in a short period of time. It always more taxing on xem. Xe never got enough done.

"Huh?" Zim uttered in confusion, noticing some glitches in it equipment.

Xyr screen was being strange was acting up. It'd been blocked.

Xe let out another sigh, "Gir, I swear to Irk. If you messed up the equipment again-" Xe remarked as xe checked on it.

But surprisingly, Gir hadn't messed with it at all.

"That's strange.." Zim commented with a sense of worry and unease, on of his antennas flicked downward.

But then, the ground began to shake. Zim was startled.

And, unfortunately his telescope had fallen.

"Damn it!" Zim exclaimed.

Zim then glanced at Gir once again.

"Come on Gir. Let's go find a telescope." He said, dragging Gir by the hand.

The two went up the elevator and upstairs.

They were now in the living room.

Zim and Gir put on their disguises, before they headed out the door.

The purple and black night skies twinkled as Zim and Gir sat on a hill top, perfect view of the city.

Zim used his Irken technology, hoping that he'd soon find a telescope.

Zim frowned in a sense of sadness and defeat. It looked all around town, but there was no signs of any telescopes.

However, Zim's expression quickly changed in a matter of seconds, immediately turning that frown upside down.

Zim grinned largely. It had found one!

But then, it quickly noticed something. There was a catch. It belonged to the Membranes.

"Ew… it belongs to the Dib-human and his family!" Zim gagged.

"But Bighead seems nice master!" Gir chimed in.

"Dib is NOT nice. They SUCK." Zim stated. "But perhaps… maybe he'll say yes?" It proposed, glancing at Gir.

"Yeah!" Gir smiled.

Zim and Gir left the hilltop behind, and headed back to Vasquez Avenue.

Zim and Gir made their way to Dib's house.

There was now a glimmer of hope.

Zim had made it.

It was dark shades of purple and blue. The perfect contrast to Zim's light teal and colorful house. Xe heard the sound of electric crackles coming from the security system that surrounded the front door.

"Go on!" Gir encouraged, giving Zim a thumbs up.

Zim rung the doorbell hesitantly.

It saw Dib's creepy looking grin through the crack of the door as Dib opened it.

Zim pushed it open, knocking Dib to the floor like a rag-doll.

"GAZ! THERE'S AN ALIEN IN OUR HOUSE!" Dib screamed.

"You mean besides you?" Gaz screamed back from her room.

Gaz watched the chaos unfold from the staircase. She had her "Andy Cappz hot friez" in hand.

"I need to borrow your telescope." Zim stated as Dib back away.

"You can't fool me Zim." Dib declared, "I know this is just so you can execute another one of your plans!"

"No! I promise! It's actually very important! You could be in grave danger!" Zim insisted.

"Um. Yeah. I do not believe any of that. You're alien that's trying to destroy the human race." Dib replied.

"Please Dib?" Zim begged, "What kind of pathetic ass alien needs help from a person from the planet it intends to conquer?!" Dib spat. "Have you seen the sky?!" Zim questioned, "No. I'm not going out there Zim. You alien bitch." Dib answered.

"Please.. you helped me when I turned into baloney…" Zim pleaded, giving Dib puppy eyes.

But unfortunately, Dib could not be persuaded.

"No. Now get out of my house! SCRAM." Dib yelled, poking Zim with a lamp.

Zim quickly ran out the door.

"What did Bighead say?" Gir asked as it met Zim's gaze. "They said no." Zim frowned.

But then, Zim noticed something strange about the sky.

It… glitched?

It was all a projection.

"No! It can't be!" Zim blurted.

It couldn't have been!

The Planet Jackers!!

"Planet Jackers? They're real?" Zim gasped, he had heard stories about them from folks during his early smeet-hood, but he didn't think they were actually real. Just a story to scare upcoming Invaders.

The Planet Jackers were a notorious group of aliens, who stole or "Jacked" planets to feed their dying sun. Hence their name.

He remembered Red and Purple telling him and Skoodge a scary story regarding them. It still remember feeling a sense of dread. It was few years ago in 1998.

"Come on Gir! Let's go confront these planet stealing fools!" Zim declared, "Yeah!" Gir chimed in.

Zim and Gir climbed into the voot cruiser, Zim pulled the lever, before the roof began to open.

Zim then dashed off into the sky, disappearing into the stars.

Zim set up a GPS straight to the Planet Jackers.

After some boring driving, Zim arrived.

"Hey! Hey!" Zim shouted, trying to get the attention of the Planet Jackers.

They didn't notice him until after he had shouted again.

They looked confused, "Who is this random ass kid?"

"Hey! You can NOT take Earth! It is rightfully Zim's!!" Zim proclaimed.

The Planet Jackers looked at each other, "Um. No. We claimed it??" One of them said in confusion.

"What?! No! The Irkens claimed it!" Zim proclaimed.

"But it says that the Irken Empire hasn't claimed it??" Nik pointed out, confused.

"They did! There must be a glitch in the system!" Zim stated.

"They didn't. Sorry kid, but it's ours now." Ogg-ah stated.

"NO. The Earth is MINE! IT IS ZIM'S TO DESTROY!" Zim screamed.

Nik and Ogg-ah began to shoot lasers at Zim's ship.

Zim felt a sense of panic as it dodged the lasers.

"Well. Time for plan B." Zim announced coldly.

No more "Mr Nice Guy."

Zim left its ship after it put on its protective gear.

There was was Ogg-ah.

"Let's fight!" Zim declared.

"Challenge accepted." Ogg-ah confirmed.

Zim pulled out xyr laser gun from xyr belt.

But unfortunately, Ogg-ah had a larger weapon.

Zim frowned, it was a large fire ball shooter. He wasn't sure how good a measly laser gun would be up against… that.

I may not be able to win this fight… but I must! Zim mused.

Zim bounced from place to place, trying it's best to dodge Ogg-ah's fireballs of doom.

Zim looked over its shoulder.

Ogg-ah was right there.

Zim pulled the trigger as it turned to face him.

Ogg-ah squinted as he tried to dodge it, but unfortunately for him, he had failed.

"Yes!" Zim cackled.

Zim continued to shoot at Ogg-ah, jumping on top of asteroid after asteroid. And Ogg-ah continued to shoot at him.

Zim dodged each fireball as Ogg-ah shot, yet he still ended up getting pretty injured.

He sighed. He felt tired and weak.

I must not give up!

Zim stood up with all the strength it could muster.

Ogg-ah stood behind the metal-encased Earth on a piece of broken rock.

It pointed the laser at Ogg-ah and Earth.

Ogg-ahh received a nasty injury, and the Earth was free.

"Yes! Yes!" Zim celebrated with glee, "Victory for Zim!!"

Gir drove the Voot Cruiser closer to pick up Zim. Somehow it managed to not crash it.

Once inside, Zim deactivated xyr helmet.

"Gir! I did it! Earth is safe! Now I can destroy and conquer it myself!!" Zim grinned happily, "YIPPEE!!" Gir screeched, causing Zim to flatten xyr antennae.

"Don't scream like that. Please." Zim begged.

Zim became relaxed and comfy, before he cranked back the lever, ready to disappear off into the stars and into the Earth once again.

Dib nervously walked to Keef's house. He'd never been to a sleepover before.

He shakily rung the doorbell, teeth clenched in anxiety.

They didn't feel very good to be honest, probably because they hadn't eaten much that day. And the fact it was their time of the month certainly had something to do with it as well.

The sheer thought of food had made Dib want to gag most the day. They didn't even eat something light like crackers. They were not risking vomiting or anything of the sort. They always had a tendency to vomit when their time of the month, or as he'd say, shark week rolled around.

Soon enough, one of the Cooksey's answered. Just not the one Dib had been looking for.

Meef had answered the door.

"Keef!! Your weird gloomy friend is here!!" He shouted, and Keef quickly ran downstairs.

Oh well. Meef wasn't wrong about that.

"Hi Dib!" He smiled warmly.

"Hi." Dib greeted as Keef trapped him in a bear hug.

"MY LUNGS-" they rasped, "Oh- sorry." Keef apologized.

The two headed inside, and Dib placed their bag on the floor.

Dib was very surprised. Both of Keef's parents were home?

Keef's Dad was cooking some green beans and something else. Dib didn't know what exactly it was though. And some rice.

Keef's mom was doing some housework or something.

Keef's Dad noticed Dib, "Why hello there, you must be Dib. Right?" He questioned, Dib nodded.

"Nice. Keef's always talking about you." He smiled, "Yeah he never shuts up about you!" Meef chimed in, before being scolded by his father.

Keef's mom had also noticed Dib.

She smiled at him, "Aw. He reminds me of me when I was a goth in collage." She remarked sweetly with her faint Georgian accent.

Dib was surprised. They were expecting Keef's parents to judge them for their way of dressing.

Keef turned to face Dib, "Do you want to play video games or something?" He asked, "No… I always get to angry." Dib replied.

"Oh. That's fine. We can do something else." Keef

They both went upstairs to Keef's room.

"Can we draw stuff?" Dib asked, "Sure! I was just about to ask that!" Keef answered.

The two started drawing, Dib was drawing ghosts and other spooky things. But Keef was drawing sunshine and rainbows.

Soon enough, Keef's Mom had called them downstairs for dinner.

Dib sat down at the table, but glanced down at his food in confusion.

It was some type of meat with gravy over a bed of rice.

They sniffled it. It did smell nice. They just didn't know what exactly it was.

"Sorry if this is a dumb question, but what is this?" They asked, hoping they didn't sound rude.

"Cube-steak, with rice and gravy, dear." Keef's Mom answered, "Oh. Okay." Dib replied.

He'd never heard of that before. But he just assumed it was southern food, given Keef was originally from Georgia.

Dib cut into his food, and took a bite.

He smiled. It had a nice, well-seasoned, pleasant taste.

Before he knew it, he had eaten all the food on his plate.

Even the green beans were good, very nicely seasoned. Maybe they didn't hate them that much after all. Maybe they'd just never had good green beans before.

They licked their lips after they ate, "Thanks." He smiled, "No problem." Keef's Mom smiled back.

Dib gently placed his plate in the dishwasher before Keef's Mom left for work, and Keef's Dad went to the garage to work on something. And Meef went to his room.

Dib and Keef just sat on the couch in living room.

Dib's chest was aching from having his binder on all day. He knew that he shouldn't keep it on for much longer. They knew they were going to have tell Keef about it. Because Keef didn't know.

Keef had only moved to Detroit fairly recently, about two years ago. Hence why he had no idea.

They let out a sigh, trying to collect their words.

"Hey, Keef. Can I tell you something?" He asked, trying to hide his anxiety.

"Oh yeah, sure! Go ahead!" Keef replied.

"Um.. well.." They began, "Look Keef um.. I'm trans." He said awkwardly, fearing Keef's reaction. Not meeting his eyes and shyly looking at the floor with eyebrows knitted in worry and a frown.

"Oh! Okay! Cool." Keef replied.

Dib let out a sigh of relief. "The reason why i had to tell you was because I can't sleep with my binder on." They stated.

"Yeah I figured. I can get you a baggy shirt if you want! You can wear it over your pajamas or something! I have some in my closet." Keef offered, "Oh! Thank you?" Dib replied.

Soon enough, Keef came back with a blue shirt with the Metallica logo in black.

Dib seemed a bit surprised, "You like Metallica?" They questioned, "I thought they'd be to much for you." They add.

"Nah. I like them." Keef grinned.

Dib went to the bathroom and got changed, and put his clothes in his bag.

Dib got on the couch, Keef and him were relaxing.

Until Zim tried to break into Keef's house.

"I'm not letting you ruin this for me, Alien Scum." Dib spat, before going outside.

It was a few minutes later when he came back in.

Keef looked confused. Dib had a huge grin on their face.

"I beat his ass. He's now crying for his cold unfeeling robot arm." Dib laughed.

"Dang." Keef remarked.

Dib sat back on the couch, Keef was making the popcorn in the microwave.

Keef also got the snacks.

"Hey Keef um- can we watch Zcooby Doo?" Dib asked shyly. They weren't sure if that was too scary for Keef.

"Oh yeah sure! I love that show." Keef smiled.

"Can we watch Zombie Island? Sorry it's my favorite-Alien Invaders is a close second though- it makes me sad." Dib requested, "Yeah I had a feeling it was! Good taste! Mines the one with The Hex Girls." Keef replied.

The got all cozy, Dib liked the warm, fuzzy blankets.

"Why do you wear socks to bed?" Keef asked curiously as they noticed Dib's alien themed socks.

"I hate the feeling of my feet rubbing against each other." Dib answered, "Same. That's why I always wear footy pajamas." Keef replied.

Keef then inserted the VHS tape into the player, before joining Dib on the couch.

The two munched on popcorn and were enjoying themselves.

They had gotten comfy, "Hey is fine if I snuggle you?" Keef asked, "Yeah sure. Go ahead." Dib said softly. They needed it.

Keef snuggled Dib tight. They let out a squeak.

"That plot twist never falls to surprise me!" Dib remarked, the film was getting close to the end.

Once the two had finished watching, Keef glanced at Dib.

"Do you want to watch Alien Invader's now? You said it was one of your favorites."

"Oh yeah sure!"

"I haven't watched it yet so that's one of the reasons why I asked."

"I'll warn you. You'll probably be sad. Or shocked." Dib warned.

Keef looked at him a bit weird but took his word for it.

Keef placed the VHS into the player, before getting cozy with Dib once again.

By the time the end rolled around, Keef was sad.

"WHY CAN'T THEY BE HAPPY TOGETHER??" Keef cried, "I know right!" Dib chimed in tearfully.

"Justice for Shaggy and Crystal 2001." Keef adds.

Keef then handed Dib a tissue, and Dib cleaned himself up.

"Do you want to go have a pillow fight upstairs?" Keef asked, "Hell yeah!" Dib smiled.

Dib and Keef ran upstairs after cleaning up the mess they made, and Dib grabbed his bag before heading upstairs to Keef's bedroom.

As soon as the two walked into Keef's room, Dib was jump-scared by the amount colors.

It was almost like a rainbow had vomited. But in a good way. Keef's walls were shades of blue with colorful posters and decorations galore.

Before Dib and Keef knew it, they were throwing pillows at each other. Playfully bonking one another.

Soon enough, the two were all tuckered out.

They were both laughing as they sat on the floor.

"Do you want to watch something else now?" Keef asked, "Yeah sure. Whacha got?" Dib answered.

Keef then showed Dib his little DVD and VHS collection.

Dib looked through it with him, "Wow you have a good collection." He remarked as he looked through the shelf, "Oh, thank you." Keef replied shyly, clearly flattered.

Dib smiled widely, "You like Pokemon?" They questioned after spotting a Pokemon VHS that Keef owned, "Yeah." Keef confirmed with a soft smile.

"Let's watch that!" Dib suggested, Keef nodded in agreement.

Perhaps the two were more alike then met the eye.

Dib got cozy in Keef's bed after Keef inserted the VHS.

"Do you want to get ready for bed? I'm getting a bit tired."

"Sure."

Dib was setting up a makeshift bed for themself on the floor.

"Are you sure you'll be fine sleeping on the floor?" Keef questioned.

"Pssh. I'll be fine Keef. I've slept in worse places!" Dib insisted.

"Where the frick have you slept in the past?!" Keef gasped, concerned.

"You don't wanna know." Dib replied.

The two exchanged good-nights before cutting the lights and hitting the hay.

It was now the next morning, Keef's parents were out shopping.

Dib awoke, opening his eyes. Keef wasn't there.

Keef was downstairs making waffles.

"Hi Dib! How'd you sleep."

"Good." Dib answered as he sat down.

Meef wasn't awake yet.

Dib and Keef ate the waffles in peace. They just enjoyed each other's company, until Dib's phone started ringing.

Dib had a agitated expression on his face as he picked it up, it was Gaz.

"Where are you?!" She demanded, "I'm at Keef's! Remember?" He answered in annoyance. Gaz then hung up.

"Little siblings are so annoying!" Dib complained, "She's only 6 months younger than you??" Keef mentioned, "She's still my baby sister." Dib pointed out.

"Well… anyway I should be getting ready to go.. before my Dad gets home." He sighed, "Okay!" Keef said.

Once Dib was dressed, them and Keef exchanged goodbyes.

The two hugged before Dib left, waving.

Dib then began to walked on the sidewalk back to their house.

There was only one thing on Dib's mind as they headed home.

I'm so lucky to have a friend like him.

Chapter Text

It was a night time at the Membrane residence. Dib was suiting up, it seemed that he was going somewhere.

Gaz noticed as she drew pigs as she laid on the floor.

He's probably going to go do something stupid. Like they always do. She figured.

Dib began to tell her about how he was going to sneak into Zim's base or something like that. She was getting fed up with him by the second.

"I AM TRYING TO DRAW A LITTLE PIGGY!" She spat with clenched teeth, fed up with their ramblings.

Their eyes narrowed, "Well, anyway. I'll be back soon. Kay?" They said, before handing her a piece of paper.

"Just tell them that the moth has been caught in the spider's web. They'll know what you mean." He said.

Gaz just rolled her eyes, "Can't you do ambiguously gay bullshit with Zim some other time? You know that Dad is taking us out to get Bloaty's tonight, right?"

Dib let out a scoff of disgust, "Okay, first of all I do NOT like Zim. He is alien trying to destroy mankind! I'm getting sick making jokes about us dating. Second of all, I promise I'll be back in time, okay?"

"Okay." Gaz grumbled, before she went back to drawing pigs.

Dib then left.

Not long after, Professor Membrane came home.

He opened the door.

Gaz turned to face him.

"Hi Dad." She greeted.

"Hi Gaz, have you seen Dib?" He asked.

"He just left the house to go things with Zim." She answered with a grunt. "Well, tell him that he needs to get back soon, so we can go. They have to come too, it is family night." Professor Mentioned replied.

"Well what happens if he doesn't get back?" Gaz questioned.

"Then I'll have to cancel it." Professor Membrane answered with a frown.

"Can we go a different day if that happens?" Gaz pressed.

"Sorry Gaz, but we have to do it today. I'm busy for the rest of the year." Professor Membrane frowned, "Even during the holidays?" Gaz pressed further.

"No. Thankfully not. But other then that, I'm busy." Professor Membrane answered.

"Okay then, I'll make sure that Dib gets his stupid ass over here." Gaz stated.

"Don't talk about your brother like that!" Professor Membrane scolded.

Gaz let out a sigh, "Sorry Dad." She apologized.

Professor Membrane went upstairs to get ready.

Gaz continued drawing pigs.

Dib had entered Zim's base, and was now roaming his laboratory.

They were now sending Gaz a transmission, but unfortunately for them, Zim had noticed.

He sneaked up on them, snatching them in its arms.

"I got you now." Zim smirked, Dib let out grunts of protest as Zim grabbed him. He wasn't letting go.

"I'm gonna take you somewhere, I have a lot planned!" Zim declared.

"Where are we going?!" Dib demanded, "Somewhere, far away!" Zim sneered, as they disappeared into the teleportation tube.

Gaz made her way to Zim's house, after receiving Dib's transmission. Why do I always have to deal with this?

She barraged inside, and noticed Gir watching the television.

"Where is Dib." Gaz demanded.

Gir turned to face her. "He's kissing master downstairs in the lab!!" It answered with a smile.

Gaz rolled her eyes, letting out a little chuckle, even though she was really trying not too. Even Gir was in the joke

Well. To Gir that probably wasn't just a joke. It probably genuinely thought Zim and Dib were in love. But still.

The two headed down the elevator, exchanging glances until they finally arrived.

"Which tube did they take?" She asked, Gir probably isn't super reliable. But oh well.. she mused.

"That one I think!" Gir stated, pointing to a specific tube. "Okay, thanks." Gaz said, before stepping foot inside.

The teleportation tube had taken Gaz to a strange building.

What is this place?

Gaz then glanced around, and noticed Earth in the distance.

Ugh. It's one of Zim's stupid spacecrafts.

Gaz walked through the spacecraft. It was filled with strange teleportation tubes.

She walked a bit more, until she could hear Zim's echoing cackles of laughter coming from a room.

She carefully followed the echos, before she arrived on a overhanging deck.

Dib was in a strange orb shaped tank, connected to wires. It glowed a strange luminous purple hue. There was a sense of unease in the air.

Gaz glanced at the ceiling and at the wires above, before she began to climb on them.

"Maybe just one experiment… then I'll rescue them.." However, Gaz quickly realized how stupid that would be.

Dad certainly wasn't going to let Dib come to the family dinner with their organs on the outside.

She then propped herself on top of the tank to face Dib.

"Hey dumb-ass. I'm here to rescue you." She said, Dib's expression changed from fear to joy in a matter of seconds.

She slid down it to face a cackling Zim.

It seemed that Zim had noticed her presence.

"Oh! Looks like the stupid Dib needs his little sister to rescue him!" He laughed.

"He's only 6 months older then me!" Gaz retorted, before she punched the tank.

Pieces of broken glass scattered everywhere, littering the floor. The purple fluid gushing out everywhere.

"Gaz! You saved me!" Dib smiled cheerfully, "Yeah, yeah. I did." She replied.

"Come on. Let's just go. I don't have time for you two and your ambiguously gay bullshit." Gaz remarked.

Zim and Dib let out scoffs of disgust in unison. "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND! I HATE HIM!" They both shouted in unison. Despite the fact Zim didn't even really know what the term "boyfriend." meant if it was being completely honest. Just a term it had heard from word of mouth.

Gaz dragged Dib by the hand. "But Gaz! He's going to destroy mankind!" Dib fretted.

"He's not. It is a stupid ass bug. Xe has proven that xe is incompetent on multiple occasions. I don't understand why you worry about it so much." She spat as she dragged him through the hallway.

The two made it to the teleportation tubes, only to notice Zim standing on top of them. The wires crackled. They had been cut and snipped.

"You can't escape from the clenches of Zim, little Gaz!" Zim proclaimed, before Gaz noticed a still intact test tube. Thankfully it was the right one.

"Okay 1. I am only 9 months younger then you. 2. You forgot one. Dumbass. Goodbye." She said, dragging Dib before they made it back home.

Zim fell to his knees, completely distraught.

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

Gaz and Dib crashed in their house.

"Why does Zim have a teleportation tube that leads to our house?" Gaz questioned after dusting off her knees.

Dib shrugged. "Oh is it so he can visit you and do romantic things with you whenever he wants?" She joked. "GAZ!" Dib whined, looking embarrassed. Clearly done with her teasing.

Professor Membrane came downstairs, "Alright, come on you two." He said, gesturing towards the door. He didn't even question the fact Dib was wearing spy gear.

The family then headed to Bloaty's Pizza Hog.

The family had sat down at a booth, the sounds of animatronics and screeching babies filled the room. The appetizing stench of deliciously greasy pizza filled the room as well.

Dib was going on about how Gaz hadn't let him defeat Zim, she was getting annoyed. "Just eat your damn pizza." She spat.

And with that, Dib shut their mouth and ate their pizza.

But then, Zim came in, barraging into the doors.

"I am back for revenge, stinky Dib!" He proclaimed as he stood on one of the tables.

Dib was ready to get up and fight xem, but then, a few animatronics crowded Zim's table.

Zim's expression immediately changed, going from determination to fear in a matter of seconds.

Xe quickly jumped off the table and backed away, "What kind of earth monsters are these?!" He questioned, shivering and quivering with clambering teeth. The animatronics singing in uncanny high pitched voices.

Zim then ran out of the establishment with a scream, as Dib and Gaz laughed in unison.

It had been a few days later.

Dib, Gaz and Tak were all at the mall together.

Dib was acting the the third wheel. He was just bloviating the whole time.

Gaz was a bit upset, though.

Dib had made a sexual joke earlier, despite knowing her repulsion. It was something about a woman in this magazine that he found attractive.

Gaz knew that it was normal for people her age to make those kinds of jokes. She always heard some people in her class cracking them (much to Mr. Elliot's disappointment.) but that didn't mean that she liked them.

In fact, she found them rather repulsive and gag worthy. (Well. Unless it was Beaver and Buff-coat making them. They were the only people that could make them funny.) She wasn't even really sure how Dib and her peers even knew about that kind of stuff, but perhaps it was best that she didn't.

As they were walking, Dib had cracked another sexual joke. But this time about this a man.

This was the final straw.

"Dib. I swear to fucking god. If you make one more fucking sex joke I am going to kick you in the nads." She threatened with a grimace. Dib's grin quickly faded and turned to a frown. "But I don't even have!-"

"I'm still going to kick you there if you say something like that again." Gaz spat.

Dib then walked away to go meet Keef.

Gaz shook her head after. She honestly hoped Dib was just spouting random things and didn't actually know what he was saying, but she knew that was rather unlikely. Unfortunately.

Zim observed. He had noticed the Skool children talking about this "mall" place, so he decided to check it out for himself.

"Stupid Dib." He snickered as he ate some frozen yogurt. He liked it, and for some reason he wasn't allergic.

But then, a certain girl caught its eye. Tak.

Well, it didn't know that was her name. But she still caught its eye.

Zim's eyes widened, sparkling, mouth open. It nearly dropped its frozen yogurt. Gir noticed.

"That's the prettiest Urthinoid I've ever seen in my life." Xe gushed dramatically. But Gir began to shake its head, "Master, you don't even know that girl." It commented. Not the "love at first sight" thing.

Zim didn't do anything else, just watching the girl walk into that scary and spooky Dark Topic store.

"Master, why don't you go talk to her?" Gir suggested, "No. that "Dark Topic" seems… dreadful." Zim whined dramatically, before xe began to walk around some more, feeling a bit lost.

It was a few hours later. Dib and Gaz were back home.

Dib was dancing to Caress Me Down by Lime-sub. He was also singing along to it, but he definitely wasn't giving his all. Because it was talk-singing. Even if Dib could sing like an angel.

Meanwhile, Professor Membrane was downstairs, but he was coming upstairs now.

Dib began to sing along to a segment of the song that had been sung in Spanish, even though he didn't speak Spanish and didn't understand it. (Well. Other then maybe two phrases. Nothing more then that, though.)

Unfortunately for him though, Professor Membrane knew exactly what he was repeating.

"Dib! Don't say that!" Professor Membrane scolded, "I really hope you don't know what he's saying." He adds.

"What is he saying?" Dib questioned, pausing the music.

"He's saying something very… vulgar." Professor Membrane stated. Dib frowned.

"Dad. I can guarantee you that Dib has probably said a lot worse." Gaz chimed in, appearing out of nowhere.

"You know what he's saying?" Professor Membrane questioned, Gaz nodded, Professor Membrane started shaking his head.

"Dib's always making sexual jokes. I promise you he's probably said something a lot worse then that." Gaz guaranteed. "He even does it in public and does it around me even though I've told him that I don't like hearing about those kinds of things."

Professor Membrane's expression changed in a flash, going from concern to disappointment in a matter of seconds.

"Dibert! You can't make those kind of jokes in a public space! You're setting a bad example for those around you!" Professor Membrane scolded, before lecturing Dib further.

"But Dad! Other people do it!" Dib argued, "That doesn't mean that it is okay to do. Especially in a public space like a shopping mall." Professor Membrane scolded.

Gaz then walked away with a smirk. Her sibling had finally gotten karma.

Gaz and Tak sat in Gaz's room later that night.

"I'm sorry about Dib constantly making those jokes. That seems really annoying." Tak apologized, "It's fine. He's always like this.. well. Nowadays anyway." Gaz insisted.

Tak looked at her curiously after she mentioned that.

"He used to be different?" She pressed.

"No… we. We used to be different. Me and Dib didn't used to hate each other. We used to be super close, actually. Inseparable, even.." Gaz revealed.

"Wait? Really?" Tak gasped.

"Yeah.." Gaz confirmed.

"Why happened to you too?" Tak pressed.

Gaz let out a sigh, "It's a long story, but it goes like this."

She got something for the two of them to drink.

"When me and Dib were little, we did everything together. We were always dragging each other around, always." She began. "I can still remember that… we would go get ice cream with our Dad. Or go play at the park. Or we would just stay home."

"When we discovered our true identities and stuff we just swapped our names. We just started going by different variations of them." She went on. "That's funny." Tak commented. "Yeah." Gaz agreed.

"Dib used to be there for me… he was there when I lost my ex best friend.

Nate looked at Gaz in confusion, "Bert. What happened to you? Why do you look like a girl?"

"Oh… that's not my name anymore. My name is Gaz. And because I am a girl." She politely corrected him.

"You can't just do that!" Nate spat, "Yes, I can. It's called Transgender. It means that your not the gender that you were assigned at birth-" Gaz explained, desperately trying to keep her cool.

Nate then continued to spit rude and unpleasant things, much to Gaz's disappointment and anger.

"You're not my friend anymore!" Gaz declared, "If you don't like me for who I am, then you don't need to be around me!"

"Good! I don't need crazy people like you in my life!" Nate shouted in anger, before he left.

Tak had a sympathetic look on her face.

"Geez Gaz, I am so sorry about that." She apologized sincerely with a frown. "It's okay… haven't seen Nate in years thank god. Last I heard he was harming his neighbors cats or something." Gaz said.

"Ew. That's gross." Tak remarked, Gaz nodded in agreement.

"Well anyway, Dib was there for me." She said.

Gaz was a bawling mess, she had been crying in a corner of the living room, not wanting to be seen.

Dib noticed though, and without another word, he wrapped her up in a blanket and cuddled her close.

"Shh. I got you! It's okay! What's wrong?" He asked, "Nate.." Gaz answered so softly it was almost a whisper. "Oh? What happened?" He pressed, "He doesn't want to be my friend anymore.." Gaz answered once again, smashing her face into her sibling's chest and sobbing into their shirt.

"It's okay! I'm sure you'll find a new friend!" Dib assured, Gaz just thanked them before they cuddled once more.

"Do you want me to go get you something sweet? I think Dad has some chocolate somewhere." Dib asked, "I'd like that." Gaz replied as Dib wiped away her tears.

"Aw." Tak remarked, "Yeah. I was there for him too. I even helped him when he got his first… monthly bleeding spree." Gaz recalled.

April 5th, 2000.

Dib's 10th birthday was around the corner, he'd been a bit moody recently, and Gaz couldn't help but notice.

One minute he'd be angry, another they'd be bawling their eyes out. And another, they'd be happy.

She just figured it was because he was getting older.

But one night, Gaz could hear the sound of footsteps coming toward her room. She could tell that it was Dib right away.

He barraged into her room, catching her off guard.

"Gaz! I'm bleeding!" He cried, he seemed terrified and shocked.

Gaz immediately stopped what she was doing, she seemed irritated at first, until she noticed the blood stain on his pants.

She got off her bed.

She grabbed their hand, "come on, let's call Dad!"

Gaz dragged her sibling downstairs, and dialed her Dad's number.

"Yes?" He said.

"Dad! Come home quick! It's an emergency! Dib's bleeding!" She urged frantically, Professor Membrane became alarmed quite quick.

"Alright, I'll be home soon." Professor Membrane said.

Gaz then turned to Dib, who was bawling his eyes out as he sat on the couch.

She walked towards him and embraced him. "It's okay Dib! Dad's on the way home!" She assured as Dib bawled into her pajama shirt.

"What if I'm dying?!" They sobbed, "I think you'll be okay." Gaz reassured softly.

Dib continued to cry as Gaz gently stroked them. She frowned. She hated seeing her brother in pain…

Soon enough, Professor Membrane arrived home.

"Son? Daughter? Is everything alright?" He questioned, frantic.

Gaz and Dib stepped off the couch, Dib couldn't even look at anyone.

Professor Membrane got down to Dib's level once he noticed what was going on.

"It's okay, please relax. I promise that this is normal, especially for someone around your age." Professor Membrane coaxed as Dib threw himself onto him.

"W-wha?" Dib uttered, glancing up at his father in confusion.

"You just got your period, son." Professor Membrane stated.

"What's that?" Dib and Gaz asked in unison.

Professor Membrane sat them down on his lap.

"Now, the reason I'm telling both of you is because I think it's very important, even if Gaz will never experience one." Professor Membrane began, both the kids glancing at him curiously.

"Well, you see children. A period or otherwise a menstrual cycle is when a person bleeds from their.." Professor Membrane sighed, "private parts once a month." Professor Membrane explained, before going into it further, feeling a bit awkward.

"Oh, okay." Dib replied quietly, relieved. "I'm glad that Dib is okay." Gaz chimed in.

"I'm so proud of you, son." Professor Membrane said softly, gently stroking Dib's back. Dib was tearing up a little. But this time not out of fear and terror, rather joy and surprise. It wasn't often that his Dad told him that he was proud.

"Why are you crying? What's wrong?" Professor Membrane asked, "sorry, I'm just a bit emotional." Dib apologized, wiping a tear from his eye. "It's alright, son." Professor Membrane insisted, then gently kissing his son's forehead.

He then turned to Gaz, "I'm proud you as well, Gazlene." He stated with a smile, Gaz gave him a confused gaze.

"You helped Dib out, comforted him and called me despite it being a very scary situation. It takes quite a bit of bravery to do that." He clarified, "Oh- thank you?" Gaz uttered.

Once Dib was all cleaned up, the family sat on the couch, in cozy pajamas.

"My little boy is becoming a man." Professor Membrane smiled, gently playing with Dib's clean, soft and fluffy wavy hair.

"Dad!" Dib whined as Professor Membrane pulled him close and squeezed him.

Dib and Gaz met each other's eyes.

"Thanks Gaz." Dib sniffled.

"You're welcome, Dib." Gaz replied.

The family then watched a episode of Mysterious Mysteries, much to Dib's joy and Professor Membrane's dismay. Gaz was fine with watching it. Once the episode was over, Dib and Gaz began to feel sleepiness tug at their eyes, before the two fell asleep, snuggled up beside their father.

"I was by Dib's side that whole week. We cuddled and watched all his favorite comfort shows and movies. I also took care of him. Our Dad even called out of work for a few days to help and spend time with him."

"Yeah but then how did relationship get bad?"

"It all started not long after April 15th, Dib's 10th birthday…" Gaz recalled.

Late April, 2000.

Ever since he'd gotten his first period, Dib had become a bit… meaner. To say the least.

While sure, he was kind of mean person already. (Well. Unless you knew them.) But now, that aspect of their personality was on steroids.

They were now spending more time in their room. They seemed constantly tired.

Not only was Dib a bit different, but so was Professor Membrane. He was spending more time at his lab then usually.

Gaz was drawing piggies. Maybe it was her way of coping with this new change.

She was just minding her own business, until she heard the sound of someone barraging into her room.

"Gaz." She heard her sibling say in their nasally voice.

Gaz glanced up at them, they seemed upset.

"Where did you put the scissors?!" He demanded, "I didn't anything with the scissors." Gaz asserted, insisting.

"No. I know damn well you had them last!" Dib spat, "No. I did not. Dad did." Gaz insisted.

"Stop playing stupid!" Dib shouted, "I'm not!" Gaz insisted truthfully.

Before the two knew it, they were fighting on Gaz's bedroom floor, tackling one another.

Gaz had finally managed to push Dib off of her.

She let out some pants.

"Get out." She said coldly, Dib left, but she could hear Dib make some shitty remark about her as they left. "I heard that!" Gaz retorted.

Gaz sat on her bedroom floor.

What did I do to them?

It had to be her fault… right?

Mid May, 2000.

Gaz was losing her patience with Dib. Sure, she was a impatient person already, but now that tiny bit of patience she once had was gone and out the window.

He was still cranky constantly. They were always tired. And most importantly, did not want anything to do with her. They were just always in their stinky room, and only changed their clothes once about once a week now.

And while Gaz was certainly frustrated, she was also a bit concerned about them.

Gaz kicked at a spot on the ground. What's the point of being nice to someone when they aren't treating you the same way? She questioned to herself.

She was now angry.

Sure, she was a pretty angry person already. But it seemed that the older she got, the harder controlling them became.

Fuck Dib. She thought in anger, clenching her fist.

I'm going to punch that bitch next time they show their face around here.

A taste of their own medicine.

It was later that day, Dib had came home, he seemed uncharacteristically happy, he was boasting about how he had gotten a good grade on his math test or something.

Gaz felt a sense of rage boil inside her. She felt a sense of rage at Dib's satisfaction.

"Okay Dib. No one gives a shit." She spat as she fiddled with her Gameslave.

Dib looked very surprised, a bit flabbergasted at their sister's response.

"That's rude, Gaz." They retorted, "Okay, bastard." Gaz replied, Dib let out a scoff.

"What did you just call me?!" Dib demanded, "I called you a bastard." Gaz repeated, "I am your older sibling, you must treat me with respect!"

"Okay 1. I am only 6 months younger then you. 2. Why the hell should I treat you with respect when I know you won't give me the same treatment." Gaz asserted, Dib looked quite offended.

Before the two knew it, they were arguing. Again.

"Okay, you know what, I'm am done! Do not speak to me for the rest of the day!" Dib proclaimed, then going up to his room.

Gaz bit her lip. She then went to the couch, desperately trying to take her mind off the situation.

"Wow. That's a lot to take in…" Tak commented, before thinking a bit more. "Wow. I don't know what to say other then that I'm sorry."

Gaz let out a sigh, "It's okay.." she insisted quietly, "I've gotten used to it.. I don't think me and Dib will ever be the same ever again.." she admitted.

"Can I give you a hug?" Tak asked, "Oh uh… I guess." Gaz answered in the same quiet and soft spoken manner.

The two shared a hug, Gaz then thanked Tak before she left.

Gaz sat on her bed. Getting all that off her chest certainly felt nice

Chapter Text

Zim barraged into his base.

He was both exhausted and frustrated. He had sold all those candy bars for nothing!! And that dreadful Poop Dawg!!

"Who are you?! WHO ARE YOU?!

God, he hated how hard it was to hear what people were saying sometimes!

Not to mention Dib had been so utterly arrogant and annoying!

"All that for nothing!" It complained and flopped onto the couch, skimming the channels.

Maybe the Earth-stinkies actually have something good on today. It figured as It skimmed.

There was that dumb Flopsy show that Gir adored.

Zim rolled xyr eyes as xe skimmed. Nothing good was on.

Maybe it was just time to get ready to hit the hay.

Sure, technically Irkens didn't have to sleep most of the time, but it was certainly something that Zim enjoyed doing.

Zim used some paste, getting nice and clean before getting comfy on the couch, ready to go to sleep.

He cut off the TV, grabbing a pillow and blanket. He didn't even care to think about whatever Gir was doing.

It was typical day, well. As typical as a day in this strange place known as Earth could be.

Zim was just minding his business, making little doodles on his lined papers with those colorful highlighters.

However, for some strange reason, Zim felt a sense of unease.

He didn't know why.

It was almost as if something bad was about to happen.

It was strange. Dib wasn't there either.

What could the Dib possibly be doing?

But then, all the sudden, the door opened. Loud and flinch-worthy.

Zim jumped, startled by the loud noise. It and the other kids glanced over.

There was Dib. He was standing there, proud and arrogant in the doorway. There were two strange figures behind him.

The sound of Zim's beating spooch filled the room.

"Get him." Dib ordered.

The two agents then snatched up Zim.

Xe desperately tried to free xemself of their grasp, but unfortunately couldn't.

"This is no human child. Xe's an alien child from outer-space!" One of two FBI agents stated, while the other took off Zim's disguise.

Zim started at the room, glancing around anxiously. Looks of shock and flabbergast on all their faces. The sounds of gasps and a few thuds of fainting filled the room.

Dib hopped on top of Ms Bitters' desk, in the same proud and arrogant manner. "See? I was right." He declared with a smirk.

Before long, the Skool-children began to give Dib apologies, loads of "Thank you's" and "I'm sorry's". Filled the room. The sounds of people gushing over Dib's accomplishments as well.

Zim now just felt empty inside. Numb. Sick. Hollow.

"See? I'm always right." Dib proclaimed in a cocky manner, hopping off Ms Bitters' desk.

He walked up to Zim. They then got up in his face.

"This why you don't fuck with me, Spaceboy." They sneered, their breath stinked.

Zim felt his antennae flattened, eyes widening, desperately trying to beg and pled for mercy.

But it seemed that Dib wasn't showing any form of remorse.

"We're gonna kill you." They laughed, Zim could feel his eyes begin to water, before bursting into tears.

Dib, however just began to cackle evilly in his strange goose-like laugh.

Little sniffles filled Zim's living room, tears rolled down his face.

Zim then opened his eyes, vision blurry from all his tears.

It glanced around. It was still at home, thankfully. It was all just a nightmare.

"Oh- thank irk. It was only a nightmare." Zim said, clearly relieved.

Gir looked sad. "Master? Are you okay?" The little robot asked, innocent and concerned. "Yeah I'm fine now.." Zim sniffled, "Do you need a hug?" Gir pressed, Zim nodded, allowing the little robot to embrace him.

Normally it would've been repulsed by touch, but this was a time where it was something it wanted and needed.

Zim gently petted Gir's metal head, "Thank you." Xe said, "No problem! Now I'm gonna go get tacos!" Gir replied, before running off.

Zim just wiped his tears away with a smile, "Stupid Gir." He chuckled sweetly, watching the little robot get suited and run out the door like an excited puppy.

Zim then got xyrself clean, "Oh! I should call the Tallest! I haven't in a while! They're probably concerned!" Zim figured.

Red and Purple laughed, they were still laughing about overhearing Zim getting attacked by the Planet Jackers.

"They should've just taken it from him!" Purple giggled, "I know right! Then we wouldn't have had to deal with him ever again!" Red replied, eating popcorn, which scattered onto the floor.

"Zim is so stupid!" Red remarked, shoving more popcorn down his throat, "Yeah! It sucks! We hate xem so much!"

But then, the two heard the sound of one of the navigators shouting about how they had an incoming call.

The two turned their attentions to the screen, only to see Zim standing there.

"Greetings my Tallest!" Zim smiled, Red could feel rage boil inside him just at the sight of Zim's face. Purple looked annoyed.

"Yes, Zim." Red grumbled, "I had sell stupid earth candies today!! The Dib was being horrible!" Zim began, "And then a few days ago I had some of this stuff that the Urthinoids call "frozen yogurt" it's actually pretty good!" Zim continued, "How's the "mission" going?" Purple asked jokingly, but it seemed that Zim didn't even pick up his tone.

"It's going okay! I still need to figure out a new plan. That stupid Dib-bastard keeps ruining my plans!" Zim answered genuinely, Red let out a chuckle at "Dib-bastard."

"Hey, at least he can be kind of funny sometimes." Red whispered, Purple nodded in agreement as he slurped his slushie.

Zim continued to ramble about his day, much to Red and Purple's annoyance.

Zim was now just happily yapping away, it'd been about 30 minutes. But unfortunately for him, Red and Purple were fed up with his ramblings.

"That's very nice Zim," Red began in a grumbly tone, "Anyhow, we're sorry to say this, but we have a another call." Purple lied.

Zim frowned, "Oh, okay!" It replied.

And with that, the transmission cut. It was over.

Zim just frowned, glancing down at its feet, in a sad manner, before going downstairs to do some work in the laboratory.

Chapter Text

Zim let out a sigh of relief when he arrived home.

Another day of not getting exposed by Dib.

He collapsed onto his couch. The situation had been quite nerve wracking. Dib nearly exposed him, on live television!

And now, everyone would think that Dib was crazy all over again, thanks to the new Mysterious Mysteries episode that would be airing tonight.

Zim let out chuckles of laughter, he couldn't wait to see Dib (And also Keef.) get looked at weird by everyone else at Skool. Once again seen as the freaks they were.

Zim relaxed for a bit, mindlessly watching some television with some snacks and something to drink.

Well, time to go abduct some cows from a nearby field.

Zim got up with a stretch, before grabbing Gir and heading upstairs.

"Where are we goin' master?" Gir questioned, "We're gonna abduct some cows and fill them with SEWAGE!!!" Zim declared with a cackle before the two hopped in the voot cruiser.

Zim pulled back the lever, and off away they went.

Zim now hovered over a field, somewhere outside Detroit.

The cows grazed on fresh grass, munching away, unaware of the alien that about to abduct them.

Zim lowered Gir.

"HI COW!" Gir grinned, before doing a dumb and silly dance.

"Gir! Focus!" Zim scolded.

"Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that… insane head of yours.." Zim sighed.

Zim then reeled Gir back up. "Okay, you know. If you're not going to do it right, I'll just do it myself!" Zim decided.

Gir then lowered Zim down.

But Gir didn't focus on Zim, rather it just focused on the cows.

Before Gir knew it, the cows had turned into dancing top-hat-wearing wieners.

"Dance with us Gir!" They encouraged.

"OKAYYYYY!!!" Gir screamed before pressing some buttons.

And now, everything was covered in human sewage.

They had been noticed.

Zim clenched its teeth in frustration as the two drove home, drenched in disgusting, putrid fluids.

"Aren't you proud of me, master?" Gir questioned happily, "NO! In fact, I am the opposite! I am both mad AND disappointed!" Zim spat.

It was going to have do something about this when they arrived home.

Zim arrived home, cleaning up everything, desperately trying to get rid of the disgusting, putrid, revolting stench of human waste.

"Why is he so stupid! It grunted, wait a minute…

Zim went down the elevator and to its laboratory.

It had a idea!

"Where is that thing?!" Xe questioned in annoyance, rummaging through xyr box of gadgets and gizmos.

A large grin appeared on xyr face. Xe had found it!

Xe went back upstairs.

This would solve the problem, right?

Wrong.

"Gir, I have decided to finally do something about your behavioral problems." Zim proclaimed before whipping out the device.

Gir looked at the device curiously.

"It's a behavioral modification device. It will make you act more… serious!" Zim went on, before beginning to adjust it.

He turned the dial to a safe level.

It projected a hologram of Dib.

"I'm gonna beat your ass you pathetic ass alien!!!" The hologram proclaimed.

But, instead of attacking, Gir just stood there before doing a silly dance.

"Get him!" Zim commanded.

Zim then cranked it up to a dangerously high level.

Gir looked like was ready to attack, before realizing something.

"Master, this Dib is no threat. This is a hologram." Gir stated in an uncharacteristically serious tone, glancing at Zim.

Zim's expression immediately changed. He jumped in joy. "Finally! I have the henchman i rightfully deserve!" He squealed.

"Alright, come on Gir. We have… important things to tend too!" Zim said, before Gir heard the sound of a police siren.

"That siren is a threat, sir!" Gir screamed, before going outside to investigate.

Within minutes, Gir had crashed a police car into the base with a boom, causing Zim to flinch.

Gir had tied up the officer and everything.

"Sir, this man is a threat to our mission!" Gir declared, the police officer looked confused.

"Aliens?!" He gasped, "Damn it! Now I have to wipe his brain!" Zim shouted.

"No! Please don't! I have family and a toilet and-" the officer tried to say, Zim just glanced away, shaking its head.

Gir watched as Zim did a brain transplant on the officer.

"You really think transplanting a squid brain is going to help?" Gir questioned, "Do not question me!" Zim spat.

"Uh… go watch TV! For research purposes!" Zim ordered.

"Yes sir." Gir groaned with a clenched of his teeth, before heading upstairs.

Rage boiled inside Gir was it watched the TV.

Zim is no good for the mission! He is not utilizing me properly! Gir decided.

I need… knowledge!

Gir knew just the place to go.

The library.

Gir was now busy terrorizing the library, blood splatters littered the floor as it stole human brains.

A news reported stood outside the library, "There is a flying metal child! Authorities are on the way!"

Dib watched as the TV, clenching both the TV remote and his teeth in anger.

"That alien bitch!" He shouted, before he ran out the door, getting ready to beat some ass.

Zim and Officer Squidman arrived at library, currently Squidman wasn't much help. He kept talking about how he couldn't ink.

Zim just ignored him, stealing his police hat.

"Uh… Urthinoids! Please relax- the authorities are here and we-" Zim tried to say, before hearing the loud, booming sound of black boots stomp against the floor.

Zim froze. Those footsteps could only belong to one person.

Dib.

Dib looked pissed. His teeth clenched, eyes narrowed. Eyebrows knitted in anger.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" He demanded as he stepped foot into now wrecked library.

Zim flinched, turning to face them.

"It's not me, I promise. It's… Gir." Zim insisted.

"Why should I believe t-" Dib tried to say, before being cut off. There was Gir, eyes glowing a luminous red hue. He had a strange tank hooked up to him. A tank of knowledge. Splatters of.. Blood covered the tiny robot's body. Human bodies scattered around the library.

Dib paused, they felt knots form in their stomach. "Oh… shit." They uttered with a bite of their lip. "How did it end up like this?"

Zim let out a sigh, "I used a behavioral modification device on Gir to make it smarter.. but I accidentally made it to smart because I didn't know the device would do that and now we're here…" He said.

"Wow. You're a dumb-ass." Dib remarked, "Yeah, I'm very much aware, no need to rub it in, Dib-bastard." Zim spat.

"Well, why don't you go fix the problem that you started." Dib spat back, "That is just what I was a about to do, Stinky-Dib." Zim replied.

Zim turned to face Gir, "Gir, please stop. We have to get out of here! You're malfunctioning and I need to get you back to normal!" It begged, "No. Stupidity is the enemy. You are the enemy and a danger to this mission. You lack the competence and skill. I have decided that you must be.." Gir stated before taking a pause, "terminated!" It declared, before approaching Zim.

Zim stepped back, Gir began to fire lasers. Holes appeared in the walls.

Zim ran off with a scream, running for its life Dib stood there for a second.

No. I can't let Zim die like this. He is mine to kill. My alien. I have to… save him.. just this once… Dib decided, before following Zim.

Zim hid behind bookshelves, desperately trying to escape Gir's grasp.

Gir continued to shot red lasers, books went flying as the shelves were damaged. Some began to shake, before crashing down.

Zim trembled, before running away to a different section of the library.

Dib was nearby, watching everything go down.

He dashed after Zim, his coat blowing as he ran.

Zim noticed that xe was being followed. But xe was to stressed to care.

Finally, they entered the break room. Thankfully them and Squidman were the only people there.

The two panted, "I think we got a way." Zim panted, then drinking the Irken equivalent to water, Retaw. He had it stashed in a pocket.

"Let's try and find an exit." Dib said, before both he and Zim noticed that the vending machine was in the way, blocking the escape route.

Zim clenched xyr fist in rage. "Curse you snacks! CURSE YOOOOOOUUUU!!!!" Xe screamed. Xe was tempted to smash and destroy the vending machine, right then and there.

But then, pieces of the wall fell to the floor with a boom, dust and drywall scattered across the room.

There was Gir.

Zim began to shake as he stood in front of the vending machine, before Gir lunged at xem.

Zim froze in place, clenching his teeth, ready to be eradicated.

But then, out of nowhere, Dib threw a random brick he had in his trench coat pocket. Officer Squidman squirted ink into Gir's eyes, coming to its rescue.

And with that, Gir fell to the floor.

The modifier fell to the floor along with Gir, Zim quickly snatched it before he turned the dial on the device, to Gir's normal and typical setting.

Gir sprang up, "Hi! I want a sammich!" It said in its typical high pitched voice, Dib and Zim glanced at each other, before Dib dug around in his coat pocket.

He pulled out an old sandwich

"Here, fetch." He said, throwing the old peanut butter and jelly sandwich at Gir. Gir ran after it.

Zim glanced at Dib.

"Why did you save me?" He demanded as Dib slurped their cola flavored suck-monkey. "Uh.. you're mine to kill. Why would I have saved you otherwise?" Dib answered.

"Well um… thank you anyway." Zim replied, "I'm still gonna-" Dib tried to say, "Ha, good luck with that, Earth-smellie." Zim chuckled, knowing exactly what Dib was going to say.

Zim glanced back to Officer Squidman.

"Yeah, I gotta get him back to the sea." Zim mentioned, "Can I come? I'd like to see you drive like an idiot." Dib asked, "Ugh. Fine." Zim spat with a scoff, as it began to look around for Gir.

Zim, Dib and Gir stood by the waves, the sun beginning to set. The sky was beautiful shades of pink, red, orange and yellow. The stench of salt water filled the air, a few seagulls and other sea birds could be seen flying and letting out the sounds caws, along with the sound of waves crashing against the shore could be heard.

Zim, Dib and Gir stood on the sandy shore, waving to Officer Squidman as he glanced at them from the distance.

He waved as a goodbye as well, before disappearing into the salty ocean waves.

Gir turned to face Zim and Dib, "He's gettin' eaten by a shark!" He smiled with his Southern American accent he had when he was screeching at the top of his lungs. He then cutely stuck out his tongue.

Zim and Dib glanced at Gir before glancing at each other, caught off guard. The two had their eyebrows raised.

"I think he's been exposed to to much dark humor. Lay off on the Family Man. Stop letting him watch Grown Up Swim." Dib remarked, before taking a sip of some random coconut water.

Zim glanced at Dib, confused. Dib was just biting their lip, before glancing away.

For a strange, uncharacteristically peaceful moment, they were not trying to kill each other.

They just watched the beautiful sunset, enjoying the calm scenery. Gir ran around, playing in the salt water, even splashing Zim and Dib some.

Zim ran off with a scream, Dib let out a silly chuckle in his silly goose-like laugh.

Gir was screaming joyfully, Zim and Dib were not trying to kill each other for once.

Dib even went for a little swim with Gir, in his clothes. Zim just judged them from afar.

Everything was all good, down that salt water beach, somewhere in north-eastern Florida. Not long after, Zim, Dib and Gir left, Zim and Dib too tired to care about their enemy-ship.

Chapter Text

Professor Membrane was going to be on live TV tonight, showcasing his latest invention, the P.E.G. Or otherwise, The Perpetual Energy Generator. It could be a replacement for fuel.

But, this new invention of his had a risk. It could kill everything on Earth.

Zim had heard about it via word of mouth. It was talk of the town. Plastered all over the local newspapers of Detroit.

He smirked. He had an opportunity. To eradicate the humans once and for all.

Dib could feel something in air.

Something wasn't right.

He had a gut feeling that something was up.

He knew that his Dad was going to likely be testing out the P.E.G tonight. They knew of the consequences. Their Dad had info-dumped to them and Gaz about the machine the other night.

What if Zim is going to use it? Dib realized.

How was he supposed to stop Zim?

"Wait… maybe I can get help from a different version of me?" Dib questioned.

That was only answer. Two Dib's working together.

He was going to have to go get his Dad's portal device.

He carefully ran downstairs.

They were as quiet as could be, Nebula quietly and curiously followed.

Dib opened the door to the basement.

They glanced around the room. Their Dad wasn't there.

They let out a sigh of relief before they tiptoed into the laboratory, cautious glancing around every so often.

Then, on the table, he spotted it.

He then snatched it off the desk, before quietly bolting upstairs, Nebula not far behind.

Dib quietly shut his door, before glancing down at the device in his hand.

He plugged it in before glancing down at its controls.

Dib clicked the "open portal" button.

"Well, here it goes." He remarked.

Then, a mass of sparkling purple had opened in the room, the portal.

Dib gazed through the portal.

There was an alternative version of himself, one from a different universe.

Hm… we look pretty much the same… He thought.

Oh boy was he wrong.

The other Dib then stepped out.

He glanced around in confusion, before realizing where he was.

"Oh. You must be Dib, right?" He said, "Um. Yeah." Dib replied.

"Hi Dib! Nice to meet you, I'm Dib!" The other Dib greeted with a cheerful handshake.

"So… how are you different from me?" Dib questioned, "Well… let's see." The other Dib began, taking a list out of their coat pocket.

"Well, for one I am a siren." The other Dib began once again, Dib's eyes widened.

"What? How?" He questioned, eyes full of wonder. "Chemical spill in Dad's lab. Gaz is one too." the other Dib answered.

"You know, how about I call you something else so we won't get confused.." Dib mentioned, "Call me Dib-fish. That's what my boyfriend calls me." Dib-fish said.

Dib's eyes widened again, "You have a boyfriend? I get a hoe in an alternate universe?" They gasped, "Yeah. You probably wouldn't be happy if you knew who he is though." Dib-fish stated.

"What? Why?" Dib questioned, raising their eyebrow. "Oh… my boyfriend is Zim from the same alternate universe that I'm from." Dib-fish sighed.

"Wow. You have atrocious taste. Why Zim of all people? I can't believe you'd be so stupid to date a alien bastard like him!" Dib remarked.

"Hey. Don't talk about my boyfriend like that!" Dib-fish spat, Dib then apologized with a sigh. “Also, he’s my bastard.”

“Why would you date him? He’s an alien scum! A monster!” Dib continued, “Look man, you’ll understand in like…” Dib-fish paused, “About 7 chapters from now.” 

Dib just blinked in confusion. “Who’s the making these terrible choices!?” They blurted. “I dunno. Ask Kitty.” Dib-fish replied. “Who’s Kitty?” Dib questioned, “Never-mind..” Dib-fish replied. 

“So what's it like being a siren?" Dib asked, changing subject. "Interesting! Not exactly… convenient at times though. Like when I spill soy sauce all over myself and start flopping on the floor.." Dib-fish answered. "I'm glad it's only with salty liquid but still.."

"How many versions are there of us?" Dib questioned curiously, "Uh… millions.." Dib-fish guessed, "Just, whatever you do. Do not summon the canon Dib's."

Dib looked at him weird, "I'm sorry, the who now?" He uttered, "Yeah. The canon Dib's. Concept. Pilot. Show. And Florpus." Dib-fish repeated.

Dib just blinked in confusion, "What the hell is a "Florpussy?" They questioned, Dib-fish just began to shake his head, "Do you have to make a adult joke out of everything? The Florpus hole is not joke. That shit was SCARY." Dib-fish spat.

"Oh… I didn't know that. Sorry." Dib apologized, "Yeah. Anyway, please don't summon the canon Dib's. Don't say their names three times. It's like some Beetle-juice type shit. And then they appear right behind your back and-" Dib-fish went on.

Dib had a look of unease, and then, suddenly Dib-fish whipped a photo of the canon Dib's out of no where. They were all staring into their souls.

Dib let out a startled scream, "Jesus Christ!" They exclaimed at the sight of canon Dib's. "Why are his teeth like that?" They questioned as they studied Pilot Dib's teeth.

"I don't know… ask Jhonen." Dib-fish suggested, "Who's Jhonen?" Dib questioned, Dib-fish sighed. "Never-mind."

"Well… anyway… I brought you here because I need help stopping my Zim.." Dib stated.

"Okay?" Dib-fish replied.

"He's trying to kill everybody with Dad's P.E.G doohickey." Dib explained, "So we need to catch him and stop him before he turns on the machine."

Dib and Dib-fish dashed out of Dib's house, Nebula not far behind.

Off to Membrane Labs they go.

Zim lowered himself down from the air vent.

He had practically gagged at its stench. He quivered at the thought of just the amount of germs inside there.

The vent was all dusty, a bit linty. And now that dust and grime lingered on its uniform.

It dusted off its dress, before it quietly hopped down onto the tile floor.

There was the machine in all its glory.

"Okay Dib-fish, you can go keep Gaz distracted while I go find Zim, mkay?"

Dib-fish just nodded.

He then wandered towards Gaz.

He awkwardly stood beside her.

"Wow Dib. You don't smell bad for once." She remarked.

"Uh.. yeah. I gotta be clean for Dad's ceremony.. you know?" Dib-fish awkwardly chuckled

Zim crawled towards the P.E.G's switch.

But then, it flinched at the sound of a loud boom.

Xe turned around.

There was Dib in all their arrogant glory.

"Oh! Not you!" Zim spat, before lunging at xemself at Dib in a cat like manner.

The two began to fight like two alley cats fighting over a scrap of food.

Dib grabbed Zim by the throat, "I'm not letting you ruin this, you little bitch!" He declared with clenched teeth. But then, suddenly Zim knocked him to the floor.

Xe pinned them down. "If anyone's day is being ruined, it's mine!" Zim screamed, "You ruin everything!" The two shouted in unison.

Dib then pushed Zim off of them, "I wish you never showed your face here, Space-bastard!" They shouted as Zim crashed against the wall with a thud.

"I wish I never met you! Bitch-boy!" Zim shouted back, before lunging at Dib once again, sinking his claws into Dib's shoulders.

Dib then pushed Zim down again once more, "I'm going to fucking kill you!" The two threatened in unison.

Dib-fish and Gaz just watched from a afar. Gaz was unfazed by the fact Dib-fish was just from an alternate universe. She had seen stranger things.

"You know, me and my boyfriend used to be a lot like that." He mentioned with a sip of his Suck-Monkey. Gaz just nodded.

"Hey Dib, can I go home now?" Dib-fish called, "Uh.. yeah sure. I'll take care of this Space-roach myself." Dib shouted.

The two shouted goodbyes at each other, before Dib-fish went back home, via the portal.

The people shouted in anger and unrest. Waiting impatiently. Causing Professor Membrane to become annoyed and angry himself.

"Okay, you know what? If you people are going to act this way, then you're not going to see the P.E.G at all!" He declared.

And with that, the ceremony was canceled.

Dib and Zim froze, overhearing Professor Membrane's words.

The two looked into each other's eyes. Zim's neon pink bug-like eyes practically stared into Dib's soul.

Zim felt a strange sensation in its spooch, a faint layer of pink blush appearing on its cheeks.

The two had been like this for far too long.

Zim began to scurry away. "Yeah! And don't come back! Scram!" Dib shouted.

It was a typical day in physical education.

Of course, as per usual, Zim and Dib were trying to harm each other.

They had gotten into a fight with dodge-balls, the Skool children were chanting, encouraging them to fight.

Zim had already bruised Dib pretty badly, and had even kicked him in his crouch.

Dib had just knocked Zim to the dark, rocky asphalt. One of Zim's contact lens had fallen off.

"Look guys! His eyes are neon pink! No humans have eyes like that!" Dib pointed out.

"Dib, what if he has an eye condition?!" Zita spat.

"Yeah! He probably just has pink eye." Someone else chimed in.

Ms Bitters stomped out, as Coach Walrus did absolutely nothing to stop the racket.

"Go to the counselors office!" Ms Bitters demanded, glancing at Dib.

"And you, go to the nurses!" She ordered, glancing at Zim.

Dib walked to the counselors office, dreading it.

Keef stood outside, observing. He watched as Dib disappeared into the office.

Dib went in the though the door and noticed a man sitting in a chair at a desk. He had pale skin and black hair, with icy, blueish-gray eyes.

He noticed the sign on his desk. Mr. Dwinky.

Dib sat in the chair.

The two exchanged awkward gazes.

"So you must be Dib?" Mr. Dwinky questioned. Dib nodded.

"So Ms. Bitters told me and you had an altercation with Zim, correct?" Mr Dwinky began.

"Yes! Zim's an alien from outer space! It's going to kill us all! I was just trying to prove that to everyone!" Dib declared.

Mr Dwinky let out a sigh.

"You know, you kind of remind me of this guy I dated once." Mr Dwinky remarked.

"I'll show you. I'll prove it to you! Zim really is an alien!" Dib proclaimed as he arrogantly stood on top of Mr Dwinky's desk.

Mr. Dwinky looked skeptical.

"Meet me at the park at 8!" Dib said.

And with that, Dib dashed out of there.

Dib now sat at Lunch, Keef sat on the other side of the table.

"Mr. Dwinky doesn't believe me, but I'm gonna prove it to him!" Dib declared after they took a sip of their drink.

"How?" Keef questioned, "I've got all my evidence compiled. And I'm going to lure Zim into the park somehow tonight." Dib whispered.

"Can I come?" Keef pressed, "Sure. It'll be at 8 tonight." Dib answered.

Gaz just played her Gameslave, having overheard Dib's plan. She just rolled her eyes though.

If only her friend Tak was here. Then she'd have a person to hang out with.

It was later that day.

The skies were still their typical strange shade of red, but the night was on the horizon.

Dib had ridden the bus to Midtown. He walked down the sidewalk and ran to Bill's house.

He knocked on the door.

The door opened, and he was soon greeted by Bill.

"Hello Dib." Bill greeted, "Hi.. can I come in?" Dib asked.

"Oh yes, of course." Bill said, allowing Dib to come inside.

The wonderful, aromatic aroma of chicken pot pie made from scratch filled Dib's nose.

Betty, Bill's wife was upstairs writing some of a book she had been working on for a while.

Dib and Bill sat down at kitchen table.

"So what's going on?" Bill questioned, "I need help.." Dib began.

Bill looked at him in a curious manner, flipping up both the lens on his shades.

"So I was sent to the school counselor because I got in a fight with Zim." Dib continued, "I tried to explain to him that Zim's an alien but he didn't believe me."

"So… I was wondering if you could help me trying to convince him of alien existence.." They asked.

"Why yes I can!" Bill declared.

Dib grabbed their briefcase. Bill grabbed his belongings too.

The two hopped into Bill's car.

"Let's roll." Bill said, before pushing down on the car pedal.

Keef was already there, hiding in the bushes. Dib and Bill were beside him.

Zim was just out there, taking a walk, undisguised with Gir.

Dib jumped out from the bushes, leaping onto Zim, pinning him down to green grass.

"We meet at last!" Dib proclaimed.

"I saw you three hours ago?" Zim remarked in confusion.

Mr Dwinky stood in the distance, absolutely baffled.

Dib held Zim up by his neck. Bill quickly noticed a baffled and shook Mr. Dwinky in the distance.

"Dwinky!?" Bill exclaimed with surprise.

"Bill?!" Mr Dwinky exclaimed back with the same expression.

Dib dropped Zim, Zim fell to the ground.

Keef stood close behind.

They each had flabbergasted expressions.

"You guys know each other?!" The three gasped in unison.

"Yes, we dated once. In 1996." Bill clarified coldly, "yes. We did." Dwinky confirmed with clenched teeth.

But then, a alien spacecraft hovered over the park.

The leaves of the trees shivered, making a ruffling noise as the aliens landed.

"Oh! My weapons must be here!" Zim gleefully smiled as the spacecraft landed.

Meanwhile, Dib and Keef looked up at the sky in utter shock.

The Plooksians.

The Plooksians were a strange type of alien from planet Plook.

They had their chest and arms on top of their bodies, which were made of scrap metal. In the middle region of their body was their head, which was contained in a glass orb. And the bottom of their body was their legs and torso, also made of scrap metal.

Mooshy and Spoopty glanced down at Zim.

They then quickly realized that Zim had lied to them about his age.

They let out a sigh, "Sorry, we're not giving nuclear weapons to a 11 year old." Mooshy sighed. Zim frowned, looking quite saddened. "Okay…" It said quietly.

Meanwhile, Mr. Dwinky was absolutely fan-boying and gushing over the aliens.

"Take me with you!" He begged, everyone else just looked extremely concerned.

The two Plooksians looked at each other, "Sure." Shpoopty declared.

And with that, Mr. Dwinky was abducted.

Bill, Dib, Keef and Zim just stood in confusion.

"Well, it's getting late. Why don't you three get home?" Bill suggested, breaking the awkward silence.

Zim, Keef and Dib just glanced at each other, "Yeah I guess." They all said in unison, glancing away from one another and at Bill.

Zim walked to its voot cruiser before hopping inside, "See ya' Dib!" It shouted as it flew away, with a cackle, disappearing into the starry night sky in a cloud of smoke.

"Bye Keef." Dib said, "Bye Dib." Keef replied, before the two shared a hug.

"MY ORGANS-" Dib squeaked, "Oh- sorry." Keef apologized before he pulled away.

The two exchanged waves before Dib and Bill hopped into Bill's car, and began to drive to Bill's house.

Dib had inserted a Deathtones CD into Bill's car stereo.

"Is it fine if I eat at your house?" Dib questioned, "Oh yes, of course!" Bill answered.

"Yeah, I don't know what we have at my house.. Gaz could probably make some concoction or something but I'd rather eat chicken pot pie then whatever that tonight." Dib mentioned.

"Gerard just leaves you two alone?" He questioned, "Uh… yeah. He trusts me to take care of her.." Dib answered.

Bill just started shaking his head. "He should have gotten you two a babysitter or something of the sort. He shouldn't be forcing one of his kids to be the "parent." while he's gone."

Dib just had a surprised look on his face. "It's a classic example of older sibling syndrome." Bill remarked. "My friend's brother was forced to act his parent. He even called him Dad a few times."

"I mean… Gaz technically isn't that much younger then me… but she's still a baby to me. I always feel the need to take care of her." Dib acknowledged.

"Sounds like you've got parent instinct then." Bill remarked, "yeah… I guess you could say that." Dib agreed.

The two then pulled up in Bill's drive way and went inside his house.

Betty placed the pot pie on the table, Dib's eyes widened.

"You must be Dib, right?" She guessed as she glanced at him. Dib nodded.

"Bill talks about you all the time." She chuckled as the three sat at the dinner table, "Is it fine if I take some home with me?" Dib asked, "Oh yeah, sure!"

He was going to give it to Gaz and just tell her that Keef's mom made it. Dib knew she'd be none the wiser.

Dib happily ate their slice of pot pie, savoring the flavor.

It had a nice flaky crust, the stew inside was just the right amount of creamy. The chicken was nicely seasoned and the vegetables were still slightly crunchy, and not gross and mushy.

Dib was certainly enjoying it, it was the best chicken pot pie they have ever had.

"That's the best chicken pot pie I've ever had." They smiled, Betty was quite flattered.

"Sorry if this is too much, but how come you can't eat at home?" Betty politely asked, "Gerard leaves them and their sister at home." Bill answered as Dib devoured the chicken pot pie.

"He's Gerard's son? No wonder, he looks so much like him." Betty commented, Dib let out a sigh, "Yes, the famous Professor Membrane is my Dad." They confirmed with a grumble. A slight eye-roll.

"Does he know how to cook?" Betty questioned, "Nah, Gaz doesn't let me anywhere near the kitchen. She thinks that I'm gonna burn down the house or something." Dib answered. "Gaz can cook though."

"That's just sad.." Betty remarked with a frown. "Yeah. I always thought Gerard would make a terrible parent because he's always to caught up in his goddamn science." Bill agreed, before looking at Dib. "Sorry about my language- you probably don't like hearing me talk about your father like that."

"It's fine." Dib insisted with a sip of his water.

Once Dib had finished eating, (even going back for seconds.) he, Bill and Betty exchanged goodbyes, before he went on his way.

Chapter Text

Dib was resting on the couch, watching the latest episode of Mysterious Mysteries.

He rolled his eyes at what they were showing in the episode.

They were claiming that there was a new cryptid in town, Chickenfoot. But Dib, being the wise person he was, clearly saw through this sham.

"That's just a guy in a chicken costume!" He exclaimed as he watched a scene where Chickenfoot was digging around in a Chicky Licky dumpster.

Professor Membrane's portable electronic device screen floated towards the living room, broadcasting live from Membrane Labs.

"This is my son, Dibert. But everyone calls him Dib." Professor Membrane stated, introducing the group of world leaders to him.

Dib continued to eat his Chinese take out noodles.

But everyone there clearly saw what Dib was watching on the television.

"Your child believes in this stuff?!" One of them remarked, questioning.

"No! I do not!!" Dib insisted in frustration.

With that, Dib placed his noddles on the coffee table before swallowing the rest.

"I'm going to disprove Chickenfoot right now!" Dib declared, hopping off the couch and disappearing out the front door. Nebby followed him.

Professor Membrane had a extremely embarrassed expression on his face as Dib left.

Dib went through the garage, glancing around until he found his Rayzer scooter.

Sure. His ankles were probably going to be taking a beating. But he had places to be.

Dib hopped on his scooter, Nebby comfortably in the basket.

Keef was walking down the sidewalk.

"Hey Dib, where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm gonna go disprove Chickenfoot! He's a fraud!" Dib proclaimed, "Do you want to come with me?" They offered.

"Oh yeah sure!" Keef agreed.

And with that, the two dashed down the sidewalk, rolling down Vasquez Avenue and to the local Chicky Licky nearby, down Chalmers Street.

Dib and Keef soon pulled up two the Chicky Licky. Dib felt like a bad-ass in his Kurdt Kobain sunglasses.

The two entered the restaurant like two cowboys entering a saloon. Dib made their way to the counter.

Keef and Nebby watched carefully.

One of employees was fighting with a civilian in regards to coleslaw. Keef sipped some lemon-lime soda.

He glanced down at Nebula, "You know, this place has almost as good as fights as Waffle Cottage."

Dib now stood at the counter.

"Hi. I'm here to investigate Chickenfoot." They stated in a monotone manner. Something about this "Chickenfoot" just wasn't right.

Then, an eerie silence fell over the establishment. People dropped their fried chicken to the floor, a baby began to cry.

"No! Not Chickenfoot! Not that chicken!!" An employee, Maria screamed in her thick southern accent.

"Sir!" The other employee, Eric began, "would you like a Mr Chicky meal? It comes with a dirty chicken toy. It has a secret." Eric said.

Dib tilted his head like a confused puppy. "Okay… so what's your secret… dirty chicken?"

"It's head even pops off to become a grappling hook!" Eric smirked in a uncanny manner.

"That's a strange thing for a chicken to do." Dib remarked.

Eric then motioned with his hand, for Dib to follow him.

Dib then proceeded to follow him.

Cold frigid air filled the room. The lights in the freezer room flickered in a eerie manner.

Dib looked at him weird, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

Eric continued to squeeze the dirty chicken toy, it let out loud, high-pitched squeaking sounds.

"Stop that. You're doing a really bad at trying to scare me. I've read and watched stuff that's scarier then this. Dib commented, "Dirty chicken says that Chickenfoot is terrible beast who reeks havoc on his chicken brothers."

Dib listened to Eric's ramblings as he started to fix the light bulb. They grabbed the light bulb twisting it, fixing the broken light in seconds, like the little handy man he was.

"Well. Where I can I find Chickenfoot?" Dib questioned.

"In the apartment complex on Antietam avenue." Eric answered.

Dib just nodded before he left. They then walked out of the freezer room, and approached Keef, who was munching on some fried chicken. He had even given some to Nebby.

"So we need to go to the apartment complex on Antietam Avenue." Dib said, Keef just gave him a thumbs up.

"Let's go take the bus." Keef said. "Why wouldn't we take the bus? Who'd walk for two hours?" Dib questioned, Keef just shrugged.

After 48 minutes, Dib Keef and Nebula hopped off the bus.

The two now stood in front of the list of names on the complex.

"Smackey, Trueheart, Graham. Hm… no Chickenfoot." Dib remarked as he listed off names, looking at the list. "Mhm." Keef chimed in. Nebula just looked up at the sign in confusion.

Dib glanced down at her, "Sorry Nebby- I'll have to teach you how to read English-"

But then, Keef perked up. "Psst. Do you hear that?" They whispered, Dib looked at them in confusion, before he finally figured out what they were talking about.

Strange… gobbling? Noises.

With that, the two headed inside, dashing down the hall, going to the directions of the sounds.

They stopped as they watched the shadowy figure disappear into a room.

"Stay here." Dib stated quietly, "I don't want you getting hurt."

Dib kicked down the door, "I know you're!" They blurted before realizing that they had the wrong guy.

They were greeted by a middle aged man, who had a strange Turkey like neck. Hence his name.

"They love me for my neck meats!" Turkey-neck stated.

Dib let out a yelp of surprise. He then sighed.

"Do you know where I can find Chickenfoot?" He questioned. Turkey-neck then pointed the other way, giving Dib directions.

"Thank you." Dib replied, as they felt a sense of unease, they began to walk back slowly before they simply ran off.

"Okay so the guy I spoke too said he's in room 205." Dib whispered into Keef's ear as they walked quietly down the hall, as quiet as a mouse.

Keef nodded, "No offense buddy but your breath stinks.." He frowned. "I know. I'm sorry." Dib apologized.

The two stopped in their tracks.

There it was. Chickenfoot's apartment.

"I know you're in here, Chickenfoot!" Dib exclaimed, kicking the door down once more, Keef's eyes widening.

Chickenfoot flinched, letting out a scream.

It was small studio apartment, chickens lurked around every corner, letting out bawks and clucks. The sound of ruffling feathers and flapping wings could be heard.

The place was dirty and a bit trashy. It reeked of the smell of rotten food and human sweat. Dib gagged.

There was the man, the myth, the legend. Chickenfoot. In all his smelly glory.

Dib stepped forward, cornering him.

Chickenfoot trembled.

"So… then what happened to you?" Dib inquired in a softer tone.

"My name is Chuy Rodriguez. I was once a man, just like you. I worked at Chicky Licky, just like you-" Chuy began.

"Dude I don't work at Chicky Licky? I'm 11 years old-" Dib blurted.

"DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Chuy exclaimed suddenly.

"Oh- sorry, just go on." Dib apologized.

"We lived, we laughed. We loved. Until I had a encounter with a microwave, of DOOM." Chuy continued.

"I was putting chicken in the microwave one day, but then Maria and Eric accidentally splashed dishwater all over the place… and Eric was eating bad dishwater soaked fries… and then there was a loud crackle and then an explosion.. and that's what caused the horrible fusion between man and chicken!" Chuy explained.

Dib then had a realization.

"Hold on! I think it caused the zipper to become stuck!" Dib realized, "No- I don't believe you!" Chuy replied as he hugged the Chicky Licky toys close, "They're my only friends. I wish i could've obtained the dirty chicken one though…"

Dib felt a strange pang of sympathy towards the guy.

"Well… maybe I could take you to the hospital and we can see what they can do?" Dib suggested.

"Okay.." Chuy replied.

Dib helped guide Chuy out of his apartment, and the two entered the hallway.

Keef stood not far behind, and Nebula followed suit.

Chuy shook nervously as he sat on a examination table. Dib stood close by. Keef and Nebula were in the waiting room.

The nurse showed the two the X-ray.

"See, it's just a costume." She assured with a smile.

Then, she grasped the zipper, Chuy let out a scream as the nurse attempted to unzip the zipper, making a run for it.

Chuy dashed out the door. Dib began to run after him.

"It's really hard to want to chase someone that smells that bad…" Dib remarked as he ran. Sure, he was a pretty smelly person himself. But even then, he didn't smell that awful.

Chuy screamed that he was a freak as Dib chased after him.

"You're not a freak Chickenfoot! Just stupid!" Dib shouted, whipping out the grappling hook.

It caught onto the zipper of the chicken costume, setting Chuy free.

Dib panted, trying to catch their breath.

He know stood in the waiting room. A group of news reporters surrounded them.

"Chickenfoot is a fraud?" One of them questioned.

"See? We're not all insane and crazy! We find real evidence of actual cryptids, while disproving the frauds! Like Chickenfoot!" Dib stated as he looked into the camera.

Dib then saw Bill and Keef in the crowd of News reporters, now ignoring them. They ran up to Keef and Bill, happily yapping about disproving and debunking Chickenfoot.

"Great job Dib!" Keef praised before wrapping his best friend in a tight hug, Dib returned the favor. "Thank you!" Dib smiled, flattered.

The two then broke the embrace.

Bill got down to Dib's level, gently patting him on the back.

"Good job kiddo. I'm very proud of you." He smiled sweetly, Dib froze, not believing his ears.

He began to tear up, "Y-you're proud of me?" He questioned, looking up at Bill starry eyed with a sniffle.

Bill nodded, Dib threw himself onto him, crying tears of joy. Actually allowing themself to cry for once.

Bill was taken aback, "T-thank you so much!" Dib cried happily, becoming quite emotional.

"No problem, there's no need to cry." Bill assured softly, gently ruffling his fingers through Dib's hair.

Keef just smiled.

Bill would've made a comment about Dib's hair gel usage, but then remember that he wasn't one to talk, he used way to much of it too.

"How about we go get a treat." Bill suggested, "I'd like that!" Dib grinned cheerfully.

Bill and Dib sat a booth at Rikki's Creamery. Dib was happily slurping his milkshake. It was his favorite, a Fish Food Jen and Barry's one.

"You know, hopefully Chuy can get the help he needs." Bill hoped after he took a sip of his milkshake, which was vanilla with chocolate whipped cream and Oreo.

Dib nodded in agreement.

"Thanks for taking me here." He said, "No problem." Bill replied.

"My Dad would probably never do anything like this with me, so thank you." Dib mentioned.

"Geez Dib, has your Dad ever done anything with you? Has he ever taught you anything?" Bill questioned, clearly concerned.

"No… he hasn't in a long time. And uh… he taught me how to mambo… which is a Cuban dance. and how to Jarabe Tapatío… but that's all I can think of… he didn't teach me a lot about our culture and stuff… I had to learn that myself. As embarrassing as that sounds." Dib answered, somehow managing to pronounce Jarabe Tapatío correctly despite not speaking Spanish.

"Jesus Christ." Bill remarked and shake of his head. "He really doesn't care about you, doesn't he?"

"Uh. No. Not really... Unless it's about me being his heir to the "Membrane Empire" or some shit." Dib said, "Oh. He's playing favorites, isn't he?" Bill remarked, "If he gives Gaz different treatment, that is."

"He does! He never says that she'll be the future owner of Membrane Labs! He's always spending more time with her! She's his wonderful daughter and I'm just his failure son!" Dib confirmed.

Bill began to apologize, Dib tried to insist that it was okay but Bill corrected him every time.

Once the two finished their shakes, Bill paid and they left.

"How about let's get you home, kid. You've had a long day." Bill suggested, Dib replied with a nod.

Bill and Dib hopped in Bill's car. M.J blared through Bill's car stereo.

Soon enough, the two arrived to Vasquez Avenue.

"Alright, bye Dib! Stay safe!" Bill said, "Goodbye, you too!" Dib replied.

And, with that, Dib went inside his house.

Little did everyone know what was to come.

Chapter Text

Zim was browsing the computer in the computer lab. Dib was behind him, watching him like a hawk. Unbeknownst to Zim.

Zim was browsing on a forum, which somehow hadn't been blocked by the Skool internet.

He began to scroll through the threads, clicking and browsing a few before he found one tilted "Alt Kidz Lounge"

Zim tilted his head in curiosity before clicking one the tread. It was of teenagers talking about different alternative subcultures.

There was a question that linger on its mind for the rest of the day.

"What is this "Alt Culture?"

Perhaps he should ask computer.

Zim walked inside, "Hello Gir." He greeted as Gir ran up to him, the two exchanging a handshake.

Zim then collapsed on the couch.

"Computer, what is "Alternative Culture?" Zim questioned.

"Alternative Culture is a umbrella of sub-cultures that exist outside mainstream cultures. Alternative Culture can be characterized as rejection of typical norms and values, a focus on being your own person, and community. This culture is very much associated with counter-culture and do it yourself, or otherwise "D.I.Y" values." Computer answered.

Zim blinked, "Oh, cool…" it remarked.

Where else can I learn about this? It wondered.

Hm… maybe the Dib? Doesn't he identify as an "Alt?" Zim questioned before shaking its head.

No. It was not going to Dib.

"Hm… who else then?" Zim questioned once more.

Wait. The Gaz-worm!

Zim then sprang up from the couch, and headed to Gaz's favorite hang out spot.

City Center Mall.

Zim anxiously walked inside the mall.

He figured he knew where Gaz would be. Near Dark Topic.

He walked towards the store, feeling a sense of unease as he walked. It quivered at the store's dark and eerie exterior. It had a neon red store sign that read "Dark Topic" in a creepy looking font.

And there she was. Purple hair, tan skin, shimmery purple eye shadow and thick eyeliner. The bat-wing like dark purple shaw. The medium length black dress paired with bright purple striped tights and shiny black shoes with a Gameslave console in hand. It had to be Gaz.

It stepped towards her, waving both awkwardly and shyly, hoping she'd notice its presence.

One of brown her eyes then opened, both curious and suspicious. "Shouldn't you be doing ambiguously queer things with Dib?" Gaz questioned in confusion.

"No… I came here to ask you about human alternative culture.." Zim answered shyly, xyr feet in the pigeon toe potion as xe glanced down at them.

Gaz's face lit up, "Oh! I can help you with that! What's the question?" She pressed, uncharacteristically excited.

"I want to know how to get into it and stuff… I just don't know where to start." Zim stated.

"I can help you with that!" Gaz said cheerfully, desperately trying not to smile, forcing the corners of her mouth down.

She then grabbed Zim's hand, dragging xem into the eerie store in front of them.

Zim flinched, not used to the sudden touch. But then, xyr mood quickly changed once xe was inside.

There was racks and walls of clothes, displays full of spooky stuff. There was a corner for cds and other trinkets and goodies.

There was all kinds of cool looking clothes, adorned in eyelets and chains. Shirts with cool looking graphics that Zim hadn't seen before.

"Wow." Zim said, in awe. "Hi, welcome to Hot Topic." A employee politely greeted. He had tall liberty spikes and a leather jacket covered in studs and patches.

Zim waved shyly, and Gaz greeted him too, before Zim began to wander around the store.

Zim noticed the little corner with some cute figures and plushies, but one of them specifically caught his eye.

It was a cute brown little guy, and had a rectangular shaped mouth, and it's teeth were similar to that of Irken ones. Paired with black bead eyes.

Zim picked up the cute plushie curiously, "What's this little guy?" He questioned, "Oh, that's Domo. He's popular with Emo kids. I don't blame them, he is pretty cute." Gaz answered.

And with that, Zim knew that this strange plushie had to come home with him.

Gaz quickly guided him to the CD section after.

"So, a good place to start is to listen to some of the music. It's very diverse, you just gotta find your niche." Gaz suggested as they looked through the cds together.

"You can also borrow some of mine. Just give them back and there won't be any issues, okay?" Gaz said, "Okay!" Zim nodded with glee.

He looked through them, "What's a "Twink 183?" Zim questioned, after finding Enema of the State by Wink 182. Gaz let wheeze, a chuckle. "It's Wink 182. Not Twink 183." She said.

"Oh. I'm still gonna call them Twink 183 but okay." Zim replied, as Gaz started laughing about it. "They're pretty good but they make a lot of…" She let out a sigh, "sex jokes..." She finished.

"What's that?" Zim questioned, Gaz frowned, "You know, sometimes I wish I was as naive as you"

Zim then grabbed it, holding it in his hand before he began skimming through the rest of the cds. "What's a "Jack it off Jill?" Zim questioned, as he held one the cds in his three-fingered hand. "Oh I love that band very much! My favorite song by them at the moment is "Angels Fuck Devils Kiss" Gaz stated.

Zim blinked. Well if the Gaz-worm likes it then it must be good

And then, Zim noticed a CD with a orange-ish yellow album cover, which seemed to depict a man hanging himself. It was I brought you my Bullets, you brought me your Luv" by Micheal Romance.

"Eh? Isn't this the band that the Dib-worm likes?" Zim questioned, "Yeah. You should be glad that he's not here. I'm sure he'd try to gate-keep it from you or something" Gaz confirmed.

"Well. Maybe I should listen to it to spite the Dib-worm!" Zim smirked, Gaz nodded in agreement.

The two then headed to the front. But then, as Zim dig around in its pocket, it quickly realized something. It had forgotten to bring its money!

"Curse you short-term memory! Curse you!!" Zim shouted, "It's fine, I'll pay for it!" Gaz offered. Zim froze, its eyes widening in surprise. And with that, Gaz paid for its stuff.

"If you want we can go to my house- that way I tell you more. There's a lot more to alternative culture then just the music and fashion." Gaz offered once more. Zim glanced her, eyes glistening with curiosity. "Yes please.. Zim would like that." It smiled.

The two then arrived at Gaz's house. Zim noticed that Dib wasn't anywhere to be found.

"Where's the Dib-smelly?" It questioned, "He's probably doing something dumb with Keef, or he's up in his room writing yuri shit or something." Gaz guessed.

Zim rose his eyebrow, "What's yuri?"

"It's something Dib likes. It's about girls kissing other girls." Gaz answered, "He's always drawing yuri. I've seen him do it at the kitchen table plenty of times. He likes yaoi too."

"Wow" was all Zim had to say.

Gaz then decided to change the subject, "So do you want a new hair cut?"

"Yeah… I want like the shaggy hair cut with the side bangs… I don't know what it's called though…" Zim said, having seen photos of it on the Internet, on a website called Flycker. (Pronounced, Flicker.)

"Oh, so like an emo haircut?" Gaz questioned, "Yeah."

"I could probably do that." She said.

"Can you keep the bouffant thingy though?" Zim questioned. "Yeah, sure." Gaz confirmed.

"Just wait here, okay?" She said, after taking Zim's wig upstairs with her.

After about an hour, Gaz finally came back down.

"Here you go." She said, with a very small smile.

Zim felt his eyes widen, his eyes shimmering in awe and glee as he held the newly styled wig in its hand. "Thank you thank you thank!!-" It began cheerfully, hopping up and down with glee and excitement.

Xe then embraced Gaz in a hug, something she let him do surprisingly, before she gently pushed him off. "No need to thank me-" She said, "Why don't you try it on?"

And with that, Zim put on the wig, Gaz placed a facial mirror in front of him.

"So, what do you think?" Gaz questioned, "Zim loves it!!" Zim exclaimed with a excitement. "Thank you, I'm glad." Gaz replied.

Gaz then glanced up at the clock. Dib was going to be home soon.

"How about we head upstairs before Dib-shit gets here." Gaz suggested, "Yeah!" Zim agreed.

The two then walked into Gaz's room, there was something on Gaz's computer screen.

"Well- here's this little presentation that I put together-" Gaz began, before starting the PowerPoint presentation she had made.

It was a little well put together presentation on the history of alternative culture, its origins, its politics, and some of the differences between subcultures. Gaz also included some sections on important figures in alternative history and such.

Zim was taking notes, very intrigued.

"Thank you Gaz!" He smiled once Gaz was finished. "No problem. If you want to learn more I have some books and internet resources you can use." She replied.

But then, she heard the sound of creaking floorboards and the sounds of Dib's doc martens against the staircase's steps.

"Well… how about you get out of here.. Dib's coming." She whispered into his antennae.

Zim nodded, the two exchanging goodbyes before Zim started to climb out of Gaz's open window.

Gaz then flinched at the sound of her door opening, startled by the loud noise.

"Hey, was Zim here or some shit? I could've sworn that I heard its voice." Dib questioned, "Um. No. Why would I want anything to do with that dumb space roach?" Gaz questioned.

Dib looked unconvinced but he then left, walking away and heading to his musty, depressing bedroom.

Gaz closed the door.

Maybe Zim isn't as annoying and bad as I thought xe was…

It was not long after Zim's makeover.

He walked through the hallways, he could hear the sound of chitter-chatter.

It seemed that several of the Skool kids had noticed his new look. Various expressions crossed their faces, disgust, intrigue, interest and some unreadable.

Dib was putting stuff away in his locker, shoving his belongings inside. But then Zim walked towards him, and starting to put his things away too.

Dib froze, scanning Zim up and down. It turned around to face him.

Zim had that shaggy emo boy hair cut. With the swoop side bang. Yet it still retained its bouffant. Xe had white and purple highlights at the tips of xyr bangs. He was wearing a Micheal Romance shirt with a striped black and white one underneath. he was also wearing some knee high converse from the future, 2006. It was also wearing a pair of skinny black jeans. Paired with a silver studded belt and a pink and purple heart shaped bow-tie.

"What's with the outfit change?" Dib questioned, why does he look nice?! A man shouldn't dress that way?! What the fuck?!

Dib started blushing, Zim's new look was driving him insane...

He felt strange feeling, one he had never associated with Zim before. But it wasn't one he could name. Or at least, if it was one he could name it was not one he wanted to.

"Zim wanted to try something new." Zim answered, then doing the colon greater than face.

"Well. You look like a girl." Dib spat, trying to convince himself that he actually didn't like it. (Even if he knew damn well that he did.)

Zim let out a sigh. Maybe he actually felt bad for his nemesis. (Just this once.)

Looks like I gotta explain some stuff to the Dib-smelly…

"Look Dib. I don't know what exactly you have internalized over the years, but whatever it is it's very narrow and toxic." Zim began, Dib looked at him in confusion.

"Your idea of what a man "should be" is very narrow and toxic. You just don't like the way I dress and act because it goes against this toxic, narrow, and unhealthy mindset of yours." He continued, Dib to tried to say something, but Zim quickly shut him up. "In simple terms, I think you have internalized stuff. I hope you unlearn, and I genuinely mean that. Just because I'm what you human weirdos refer to as "more feminine." Does not make me any less of a man then you. Hope that helps." It finished, then walking away as it did a sassy hand flick, strutting.

Gaz witnessed the whole thing, and emerged from the shadows. Dib stood, in shock. jaw dropped.

"I can't believe he'd accuse me of something like that!" Dib spat in anger. Gaz let out a sigh. "I'm literally!-"

"Look Dib. I know this is hard to hear but xe is right. You just don't like what xe said because xe told the truth." Gaz stated, walking away.

Dib let out a sigh, frowning.

Keef then showed up, "What happened?" They asked.

"Nothing. Just Zim being the bitch he is. " Dib said.

December 21st, 2001.

The strange human holiday referred to as "Christmas" was just around the corner.

There was no snow on the ground. Only slush and ice littered the streets. It was one of the warmest days on record. (Well, as warm as 38 degrees Fahrenheit could be.)

Zim walked into Skool, with a cute black and neon pink coat. It even had fluff inside the hood.

He was wearing some skinny jeans, paired with a graphic t-shirt with a striped black and white long-sleeve shirt underneath. He was also wearing some Kandi bracelets it'd made recently. They had goofy and silly phrases on them.

It walked to its locker, before noticing what Dib was wearing.

He was wearing a pair of black denim shorts, about mid-length. They had little rips and tears in them. Paired with a belt chain made up of safety pins and soda tabs. There was what looked to be a zipper on the bottom of them. But other then that, Dib was mostly wearing what he usually wore.

Zim looked at him weird, "Dib, why are you wearing shorts? It's 38 degrees outside??" It questioned. "A bastard never gets cold, Zim." Dib stated. "Also, these are zip-off pants, I can just make them into pants again."

Zim just blinked, "Okay, Dib." Xe said before just walking away.

Gaz then showed up seemingly out of nowhere.

Zim breathed in the sweet scent of lavender, one of fragrances Gaz had a tendency to wear.

Zim turned to face her, "Why does Dib wear shorts in 38 degree weather?? He's going to get hypothermia!" It fretted. "He always does that. I wouldn't worry to much." Gaz assured.

"Oh, by the way, did you here about how the Skool is putting on some dumb dance tonight or something?" Gaz mentioned.

Zim felt its antennae perk up underneath its wig, "No?"

"Oh. Well I guess me and Dib are going. That's why i mentioned it." She said, "I think it'd be pretty funny if you beat Dib's ass or something." She chuckled, desperately trying not to smile.

"I'll think about it.." Zim said.

Hm… I've never been to one of these "dances" before… might be a good research opportunity…

The neon strobe lights flashed, the music boomed from the speakers. The popular kids did some trendy dance, but the nerds in the corner were doing something strange.

Dib was grooving it along the dance floor as Whatever Whatever by Zhakira blasted through the speakers. He was wearing what looked to be a suit and a bow-tie. He had been making up dance moves as he went, but it looked as if he had made up some choreography of some sort. Meanwhile Keef danced in a weird, yet charismatic manner.

Torque and Jessica watched, "You know, for a nerd, Derp isn't that bad of a dancer." Jessica remarked with a sip of her fruit punch. "Yeah, Derb's not that bad. He saved my life once. They're kind of weird but they're not to terrible to be around. Sometimes. They'll probably end up talking your ear off though." Torque chimed in.

Jessica's eyes opened for once, "When did he do that?" She questioned, "You know, during the organ incident?" Torque answered. "Oh yeah… the organ incident.." Jessica frowned.

Zim felt its antennae flattened underneath its wig. This was new strange territory.

There was a handful of couples dancing, but not many. And, it's unlikely those couples would even last.

Zim continued to glance around. He noticed Gaz was dancing too. She was wearing a gothic suit, it was black with accents of various shades of purple lace and tool. It had purple ruffles on the ankles and wrists, with the addition of spikes. The buttons were dark purple and bat shaped, covered in sparkles. She was also wearing a pair of shiny black Mary Jane's with a chunky heel. The buckles had little purple shaped hearts. She also was wearing her typical skull shaped necklace and hair bow.

Zim then noticed Dib, whom was getting some fruit punch from the punch bowl with Keef.

Dib's hair looked a bit different. It wasn't straight and spiky looking, it was fluffy, wavy and soft. It's natural state. (Which, Dib had somehow not fried to death with the hair straightener.)

Dib was also wearing a gothic suit they had picked up from a thrift shop. They had added different elements to make it look more gothic. Safety pins, adornments of chains and various pieces of scrap fabrics. They had a bow-tie. It was cerulean with black stripes with a gray colored frowning face in the middle. It had two little white fangs. Just like the ones that poked out of Dib's mouth and rested on their upper lip.

Zim couldn't help but notice. "What's up with your hair? It looks a bit different?" He said, Dib turned to face him. "My Dad insisted that I wore it like this. I know it looks ugly." He snapped.

Zim blinked in confusion, "It's not ugly! It's quite nice, actually!" He smiled. How could someone hate having such beautiful hair??

Dib let out a chuckle, "You're lying."

Zim blinked once again, "Well, I'm not. I think it's cute!" It admitted, Dib blinked. "Really? You do?" He questioned in disbelief, "Yes! Really!"

Zim noticed Dib's expression change. It was one xe had never seen him have before. Or maybe, it was one xe had only seen them have a handful of times. They seemed flattered.

The two awkwardly looked at each other.

But then, there was a sudden shake. Zim flinched at the unexpected tension.

Keef glanced at Dib, his green eyes filled with surprise. "Was that an earth quake?" He wondered. Dib gazed at him, "Probably not. Earth quakes are rare in Michigan." They pointed out reassuringly.

"Well, what if this is a rare expectation?" Zim questioned, Dib then glanced at him in a sudden manner. Dib then lunged at him, yanking him by the heart shaped bow-tie as the sound of Caramelldansen boomed from the speakers. "What did you do this time, Space-Bastard?!" Dib demanded.

Zim's pupils shrank in size as Dib held him by the neck, "You're not going to ruin the Skool dance for everyone, Zim." He declared, getting all up in Zim's face. Zim quivered. Their faces were so close together, that they could kiss.

Then, a piece of roof fell from the ceiling as the building shook, groups of kids ran screaming and shoes smacking against the gym floor. The sounds of fingers pressing against cell phone keyboards as a desperate attempt to contact their parents could be heard. Pure horror.

There he was. The dreaded Santa Claws.

He a body that resembled that of a spider, the long legs of his had red and white stripes, similar to that of a candy cane. He had human head with a long white bread and a Santa hat.

Ms Bitters glanced up, she was wearing a plum colored dress and black heels, with a silver necklace.

"Oh god. Looks like Santa came early." She remarked, seemingly unfazed, unlike the hysterical skool children.

Zim's expression changed. "THE EARTH IS ZIM'S!!!" Xe declared, before activating a cannon from its Pak, firing a missile at the terrifying monster.

Xe glanced over at Dib, who threw a can of soda at him.

With a bang, Santa Claws went down.

Everyone else went on with the night as if nothing had happened, but Zim and Dib just stood, awkwardly looking at each other.

Dib opened their mouth to say something.

"Uh… Now that that is out of the way, do you want to dance?" Dib questioned, "As enemies." They quickly clarified.

Zim blinked in confusion.

Aneurysm by Pen Cap Chew began to blast through the large speakers.

Come on over, and do the twist.

Dib spun Zim round and round as if he was a rag doll, tilting him back and forth.

The room spun round and round like a merry-go-round as Zim could feel Dib pick him up. He was now in Dib's arms.

They danced back and forth, in rapid motion as the song played.

Once they were done, the two felt a sense of dizziness as they stood.

"Wow. They're actually a cute couple, I guess." A kid in the corner of the room remarked.

Dib and Zim jolted their heads in a sudden manner, turning to face this kid. "He is NOT my boyfriend! I despise him!!" They both shouted in unison.

Everyone around the room burst into chatter.

"Dib's gay?" One of the kids questioned, "No, he's bi. He has a bi pin on his jacket if you look closely."

"What about Zim?" Someone else questioned, everyone else in that group gave a shrug.

Dib and Zim continued to ease drop as they heard the other kids chat. Then, they started dancing again like nothing happened.

Zim felt sleepiness tug at its eyes, it desperately tried to keep them open. But there was something strangely comforting about being held in someone's arms, even if they were Dib's.

The two stayed still for a good bit, before small groups of kids started heading home as Good Riddance by Blue Night began to play.

Gaz looked at the speakers in confusion, "They know that this is supposed a fuck you song, right? Billy literally stated it in a interview?" She questioned, before giving a shrug.

Dib scanned the room before glancing down at their watch. They had to get going soon.

Dib then glanced down at Zim. "Hey. I have to get going. So get out of my arms, you pathetic space-monster twink!" They spat, "I'll take that as a compliment, thank you." Zim simpered before hopping out of Dib's arms.

"That was not a fucking compliment Zim!" Dib shouted as Zim began to walk away, Zim glanced back at him with a smile, "Whatever, Dib-smelly." It then did a sassy hand flick, before walking away.

"Did you just see that, Gaz?" Dib questioned, noticing their sister's sudden presence. "Yes, I did." She said, one of her pretty brown eyes open. "I can't believe he just did that!" Dib said. "Xe also just danced with you, but okay Dib." Gaz retorted. "Xe danced with me because xe hates me so much!" Dib insisted.

Gaz just shook her head, "Okay, Dib." She retorted once more before the two siblings began to head back home.

Zim got into a cute comfy tank-top and house shorts, taking his eyeliner off before dramatically collapsing onto the couch.

He stretched a little, before noticing Gir.

"HI MASTER!!!!" Gir greeted, extremely loud. Zim flinched, "Gir, it's too late to be doing that." He stated in a monotone manner. "It's 9:30 for irks sake."

Gir's dog ears flattened before perking back up. "What did you and Big-head do?" It asked curiously,.

"It was really loud in there… my wig helped muffle it a little but it was still a bit overwhelming.. it was fun I guess though. The Dib-worm danced with me! I hate him so much!" Zim answered.

January 21st, 2002.

It was strange. It was a morning at Skool. It also happened to be Zim's 12th birthday.

Dib had also been… uncharacteristically kind.

Zim glanced at Dib in confusion. "Why are you being so… nice today?" He asked, eyes full of suspicion. What does he have up that little grubby sleeve of his…

"Um, its your birthday today, Zim." Dib mentioned.

"Oh… yeah.. well Irkens don't really celebrate birthdays- it's not very important to us." Zim explained.

"Well, that doesn't mean that you can't anything to celebrate, right?" Dib questioned, "I mean, you're not on Irk anymore. Plus, don't you want to seem like a "normal human worm-baby?"

Zim glanced him with a sense of uncertainty, "I guess… I suppose we can put our enemy-ship aside for just one day.."

Dib smiled, but it uncharacteristically sweet. Not the typical smug, shit-eating smirk.

Zim blinked, feeling a pang of unease at the sight.

"Cmon. Let's go to Krizpy Kreame. They give people free donuts on birthdays. Other places do too." Dib proposed.

Gaz and Keef watched, Gaz's eye opened, surprised and confused. "How come Dib isn't trying to kill him or something?" She questioned. Keef shrugged. "Well… today is Zim's 12th birthday. That's a pretty big deal. He's only a year away from being a teenager." They acknowledged.

"Then again… Dib might be planning something. But I don't think he'd be that much of an a-hole." They said. "It's okay Keef, your mom isn't here. You can say asshole." Gaz replied.

Keef let out a sigh, "Sorry. I just don't like cursing." He mentioned. "Oh, okay."

The two watched as Zim and Dib began to ran off, "Do you want to go and dip?" The two overheard Dib say.

"That's kind of strange." Gaz remarked. Keef nodded in agreement.

Gaz then continued to gaze out the hall, watching Zim and Dib disappear into the distance.

Maybe the whole "Dib loves Zim" thing isn't a joke anymore…

February 14th, 2002.

It was a chilly day, the high temperature being 45 degrees Fahrenheit to be exact.

Zim began to walk inside, the sounds of chit-chatter filling the halls and corridors of the building.

Zim couldn't help but notice. He then noticed Gaz.

He shyly walked up to her, "Hey Gaz, why is everyone talking so much?" He questioned. Gaz looked a bit taken aback. Zim blinked, "Sorry- did I say something wrong?" He pressed upon reading her expression. "No. I'm just not used to you calling me by just my name and not "Gaz-worm" or something. Not that I'm complaining though." She replied. "Oh, and too answer your question, apparently there's a new student or something. People say she's either from California or England. No one is sure on which one though." She adds.

"What's a England and what's a California? Sorry I'm still bad at Urthinoid geography-" Zim pressed, "Oh. England is a country that's in Britain or otherwise the United Kingdom which is often shortened to the U.K. And then California is a state in the United States of America, which is the country we live in. My Dad used to live in California as a kid actually- I'm not sure what made my grandparents move here though." Gaz explained.

Zim just stood there, "Wow." Xe remarked.

But then, out of seemingly no where, Dib appeared.

"Gaz! Why are you taking to Zim?!" Dib demanded. "He was just asking me a question!" Gaz retorted. Dib then glanced at Zim, practically staring into his soul.

"Get away from my baby sister!" They shouted with fury, "I'm only six months younger then you!" Gaz retorted once more, becoming sick of her sibling.

And with that, Zim, Dib and Gaz all headed to class.

Ms Bitters looked rather annoyed as usual.

"Class, today we have a new student. Unfortunately. She will be here any minute." Ms Bitters announced.

Then, a small airplane landed on the ground, right beside the window of the classroom.

Dib watched as a cat appeared on the outside of the window. She had sleek black fur and luminous red eyes. Her ears were almost bat like, they were a bit large and had muted light purple on the inside. It wore a red collar with a tag that said its name, Mimi.

Zim watched as the door opened, its eyes widening. There was the new girl.

She had dark blue hair that was cut in a short bob style, she had dark makeup on both her eyes with a small beauty mark near her lip. Mew was wearing purple-tinted lip-gloss that shimmered on mew lips. Mew had a small stud earring on mew left ear.

She was wearing a dark purple dress, which had a slit cut into its cape on the back. The sleeves were muted shade of pink and her dress featured a strange logo in the middle.

Mew glanced around the room.

"Hi everyone- i'm Tak." Tak stated, everyone then greeted mew in unison.

"My Dad is the owner of the Delicious Weenie corporation, so I brought weenies for everyone!!" Mew smiled, before breaking out said weenies.

And with that, everyone became rabid weenie eating zombies, devouring each of them. Well, expect for Zim and Dib, who watched the chaos.

He noticed that Gretchen was standing by his desk, placing pieces of meat on it.

He blinked in confusion, but she continued to smile. Dib tilted his head like a confused puppy or kitten, not knowing what to make of it.

Afterwards, Ms Bitters let out a sigh, "Alright, you all may pass out your Valentines now." She stated.

Zim flinched as one of his classmates approached him, with a tray of salmi.

"I'm good! I want any of that meat!" He insisted.

Tak then glanced at Zim, standing on top of Ms Bitters desk.

"And for him… I have written a poem" Tak declared.

Zim's eyes widened.

"For as long as I can remember, I've been looking for a person like you, with a head and torso too. Birds singing, and YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!"

Zim's antennae flattened under his wig in confusion.

Why did she say that?

Tak and Gaz entered the Membrane house. Mimi followed quietly behind the two of them.

The fur on Nebula's back stood up straight. She let out a growl. Claws unsheathed and her canines being shown.

She began to corner Mimi. Mimi flattened her holographic ears.

"Sorry, that's Dib's cat." Gaz apologized as she and Tak passed by.

A scowl still lingered on Nebula's face, eyes still remaining on Tak and Mimi as they walked up to the stairs that led to Gaz's bedroom.

Zim placed a piece of meat in Tak's locker. He watched as she opened it. He was expecting maybe a smile, but all that was on her face was a scowl with the addition of clenched teeth. Dib was glancing over her shoulder, shaking his head in disapproval. Gaz had a unreadable expression.

Zim got down on one knee, gently holding Tak's hand before softly placing a kiss on it.

But much to his surprise, he then felt a sudden slap against his face. The sound of Dib's goose-like snickering could be heard from afar.

Zim blinked in confusion as he glanced up at Tak. There was only a scowl on her face, purple eyes filled with a sense of anger.

Zim's antennae flattened underneath his wig.

Does she like me? Does she love me? He questioned, before Tak stormed off.

Zim stood there, completely frozen. With a bruise that now lingered on his left cheek.

Gaz and Tak continued to walk to class.

"I wish Zim would stop trying to "get with me" or whatever! Can't he see that I clearly hate him?! I smacked on across the face and have shown that I don't like him several times but he keeps bothering me!" Tak complained.

"Maybe you should talk to him? Or do you want me to talk to him later?" Gaz asked.

"Yeah- sure." Tak replied. "I- I just don't get it. How could you be friends with a annoying barf-bag like it??" Mew questioned.

"Uh… I wouldn't call it my friend.. it's just my occasional acquaintance." Gaz said. "But I'll talk to him about it when I get the chance."

It was the end of the day.

Dib was making bad adult jokes and Keef was politely informing him that it might not be very appropriate to make those kinds of jokes at Skool.

Gaz sat on the steps as she watched Zim start to walk by.

She gently tugged him by the sleeve.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" Gaz questioned, "Yeah sure?" Zim replied, a bit confused.

The two now sat together.

"Hey, so-" Gaz began, trying to collect her words, not wanting word it in a way that would hurt Zim's feelings. "Can you please stop trying to be affectionate with Tak? It makes her very upset and uncomfortable." Gaz begged.

Zim felt knots form in its stomach, as if someone had just punched it there, knowing it had done something wrong.

"O-oh-" He began, "I didn't know she felt that way- I'll apologize to her next time I see her." Zim apologized.

"Okay, thank you." Gaz said, surprised at how well Zim had taken it.

Zim then started to walk home, slouched over and slow.

Zim had been watching television. Xe was surprisingly enjoying it.

Xe then heard the sound of the doorbell ringing.

He got off the couch, heading to the door.

He tapped it, he could now see who was there.

There she was in all her glory. Tak Monroe.

Zim carefully opened it.

"Hi Tak.. sorry about earlier- Gaz told me everything and-" Zim began.

Tak just began to cackle in a eerie manner. Mimi gazed out with a blank, uncannily emotionless stare.

Zim twitched its antennae in confusion, "What's so funny?"

Then, she began to glitch like TV static, starting to reveal who she truly was.

She had green skin, curled bug-like antennae. A strange little device was on the right side of her forehead. Mew now had purple oval shaped bug-like eyes.

It couldn't be! That Tak. Zim's childhood rival!

"You're a bigger fool then I remembered." Tak declared.

Zim flinched, letting out a yelp. "Tak?!" It gasped. "Also… you're a girl??"

"Yes, indeed. Thank you for noticing." She said.

"Uh… congratulations on the transition! MI STILL MAD AT YOU THOUGH!" Zim proclaimed.

All those strange fuzzy feelings he once had for her disintegrated into a pile of nothing…. or maybe, even- anger.

"This about your mission, Zim." She stated.

Zim looked at her in a confused manner.

"You've ruined my life more times then I could count. It's my turn to ruin yours!" She shouted with a scowl, antennae flattened in anger.

She then stepped forward, beginning to corner Zim.

"So you're here for revenge? What did I do to you?!" Zim demanded.

"You idiotic fool! You know what you did to me! You were the one who caused the blackout! You left me trapped in there for who knows how long!" Tak spat.

Zim's antennae flattened underneath its wig.

"You're the reason why i couldn't take the test to become an Invader! If I had been able too, the Tallest would've given me your mission! IT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE!" Mew screamed, mew eyes burning with fury and flattened antennae. Not afraid to show her jagged, zipper like teeth.

"You better count your days, Zim." Tak declared, tugging Zim by his heart-shaped bow-tie

It was the early next morning. 6 am to be exact.

Zim dashed over to the Membrane residence. He was only wearing his pajamas. Which were a cute fluffy nightgown and slippers.

Zim barged into the house, "Oh look son! It's your best friend!" Professor Membrane smiled, "He's not my friend! He's that alien bastard that I fucking hate!" Dib retorted.

Professor Membrane let out a scoff of disgust, "Dibert! Don't say that about your friend!" He spat, before getting up to grab some toast.

Dib was wearing a very baggy Zcooby doo shirt with matching pajama pants, paired with a robe and slippers.

Zim sat at the table.

"Dib. I need your help-" Zim began, "It's about Tak! My childhood rival! She's after my mission! She's Irken!"

Dib just began to shake his head.

"Look man, I like Tak! She's cool! And she hates you. You're just jealous because you can't even try to get a-" Dib tried to finish saying before being cut off by Zim

"This has NOTHING to do with jelly!" Zim interrupted.

Dib just began to shake his head.

"Look man, she doesn't fucking like you. I don't know shit about dating but even I know that. She's been trying to tell you that she doesn't like you by treating you like shit." Dib explained. "Also, mew likes girls. Mew likes the ladies."

"Yeah- I know- WAIT- human affection isn't pain based?" Zim questioned.

Dib just blinked in confusion.

"No, what the fuck?" He blurted.

What is wrong with this guy?

Gaz then came downstairs, she glanced at the two. "Your voices are making me sick." She said. "Also, its fucking 6:30 in the morning. It's too early for you guys to be fighting." She adds.

"Well- if you help me I'll give you all my Dark Topic coupons and I'll buy you something!" Zim persuaded.

Dib stopped to think for a second. "Fine. It's a deal." They confirmed.

"Wow." Gaz deadpanned as she walked to the fridge. She then glanced over at Zim. "Hey, why don't you stay over for breakfast. I'm sure Dib would like it very much." She smirked.

Dib let out a disgusted scoff. Zim then glanced over at them, smirking smugly.

Once Dib began to eat, Zim pulled out some photos.

"So last night I got into a fight with some meat monster or something when I was walking near the Delicious Weenie place and-" Zim began.

"What were you doing there?!" Dib interrogated.

"Holy Irk Dib! Can a guy just go out for a walk?!" Zim retorted, "Anyway, as I was walking I noticed this strange opening on the back of the building. There was Irken machinery going inside it." He continued, before showing Dib a photo.

Dib looked confused, "Why are you showing me a photo of Gerard Gay??" He questioned, "Ah- wrong image." Zim replied, before showing Dib the correct one.

"Anyway, we need to stop the Tak. TODAY." Zim declared.

"Okay. How about let's skip Skool and do some planning or whatever." Dib suggested, "Okay." Zim agreed.

Gaz glanced at the two, "Wow. You guys didn't try murdering each other for thrice." She remarked. Zim glanced at Dib, very confused.

"What does that mean?"

"It means we haven't tried to kill each on occasions. I hope this is the last."

Zim grabbed Dib and Gaz as they made their way to the Delicious Weenie Corporation.

"I'm staying here. So I can watch you two get your asses beat by security." Gaz stated. "No, I'm staying here too. I also want to see the Dib get beat up by security." Zim declared.

Dib let out a scoff before he started to walk away, Zim and Gaz followed.

Dib now climbed up the side of the building, but then, a entrance suddenly opened.

There it was.

They stopped, stumbling inside.

Irken spacecrafts flew around from place to place, there was a glass chamber down the middle, the head of the Delicious Weenie corporation was inside.

"W-wha-" Dib gasped with a stammered. "Sure is a hot dog stand." Gaz remarked sarcastically.

Dib flinched, "Gaz?? Where's Zim?" Dib questioned, Gaz proceeded to shrug as she drank her cola.

But then, Tak appeared.

"Tak?" The Membrane siblings questioned in unison.

With a sudden jolt of his arm, with a point of their finger, Dib then spat, "Nebby was right about you!"

"I can explain-" Tak insisted as she noticed Gaz.

Gaz froze, her expression unreadable.

"You're behind all of this?!" Dib demanded.

"Yeah, mostly. I just used the Weenie man and his resources." Tak answered.

"What the fuck Tak?!" Gaz shouted, clenching her soda can in anger. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!"

Tak was taken aback by Gaz's sudden screech. "You are my friend I-"

"I don't want to hear ANYTHING from you!" Gaz screamed, nearly lunging at Tak.

But then, the sound of a loud boom could be heard.

Zim and Gir.

"It's over Tak!" Zim declared. "Me and the Dib-smelly are gonna stop you!"

Tak let out a chuckle, "Get him, Mimi." She ordered calmly as she turned to face her sir unit that was disguised as a cat.

Zim started to back away, "No Mimi- Be a nice kitty-" Zim smiled nervously, before being thrown into its voot cruiser by Mimi. Gir was quickly thrown too.

And with that, they crashed in the lot at the back of the building.

Dib was there.

Zim blinked in confusion at the sight of them.

"Huh? How'd you get here so quick?" Xe questioned, "Tak throw me down the vent or something. Don't wanna talk about it." Dib answered.

Gaz showed up too, glancing at the two.

"Mimi tried to attack me but I squirted soda at her. And this thingy fell out of her head. I thought Zim might know what it is." She explained.

Zim immediately knew what it was.

"That's a sir unit disc! It must have Tak's plan on it!" Zim concluded.

"If we go to my base, we can decode it." He said, "No! It's ours, bitch." Dib spat, Gaz just started to shake her head. "How about you shut up and quit making this more difficult then it needs to be, Dib." Gaz retorted.

Dib let out a harrumph before they and the others began to walk to Zim's base.

Once inside the base, Zim placed the sir unit disc inside the decoder.

It was a recording of Tak explaining her plan. Emptying Earth's molten core to fill it with snacks.

"She stole this plan from me!" Zim claimed, "No the fuck she didn't." Dib retorted, seeing through Zim's lie. Zim proceeded to let out a offended scoff.

Zim start to write stuff down in a cute Hello Kitti notepad. "Okay so will drop off Dib so he can turn off the Magma-pump doohickey, Gaz you can stay here with Gir. And then I will distract Tak." Zim stated.

"Okay." The Membrane siblings replied in unison.

But then, an idea came to Zim. It glanced over at Gaz.

"Wait. I know that you can control Sir units with a remote host… maybe you could remote control Mimi via Gir." Zim mentioned. "So it's like playing a video game kind of?" Gaz questioned. Zim paused. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Alright- I guess I'll help you and Dib-shit save the Earth or whatever…" She sighed. Dib let out a offended scoff.

The sounds of hysterical cries filled the city. Magma spewed from the top of the Delicious Weenie building.

The sound of Tak's cackling could be heard.

Then, Zim suddenly swooped in.

"Hey Tak! Come get me!" Xe shouted.

Tak's blood began to boil at the sight of him.

"Gladly!" She spat, before hoping into her spaceship.

Dib watched as the two Irkens glided off into the distance.

He glanced down at the Magma pump.

"How do I turn this thing off?" They questioned out loud, before zooming down a pipe and back into the Delicious Weenie building.

Meanwhile, Gir and Gaz were dancing. (Which, Gaz begrudgingly had agreed too.)

Gir was playing some random song on the radio as they danced, making Mimi go crazy on the inside of Tak's ship.

Zim had zoomed around the galaxy near Earth's orbit.

The little chase scene was over. It'd had run its course.

The two now floated in front of each other. Face to Face.

"This isn't the last you'll see of me, Zim!" Tak shouted.

"Mhm. Okay. Sure." Zim replied nonchalantly as it drank its soda.

And with that, Tak was launched into the depths of the deep dark outer space.

Zim had just entered the Earth's atmosphere once again, flying down to the Delicious Weenie building.

He could see Dib down below. He stood in the street.

Zim landed on the asphalt. It was dark enough to where he wouldn't be easily seen.

"Hey, get in loser. I'm taking you home." Zim stated. Dib blinked in confusion. "Okay?" They replied before hopping in Zim's voot.

It was later that night, at the Membrane residence.

Gaz entered the house, barraging inside. Smudged mascara and eyeliner lingered near her eyes as tears dribbled down her face. She let out a sniffle as she grabbed a tissue out of her beat up messager bag.

Dib wasn't far behind her.

Professor Membrane was surprisingly home, he wasn't wearing his lab gear. Hello Gaz-" He greeted, before noticing the distraught and tearful expression on his daughter's face.

His expression softened, his brown eyes full of concern. "What happened?" He questioned. "I don't want to talk about it" Gaz said, her voice aching. She didn't even spare a glance at him before she ran upstairs, slamming her bedroom door.

Dib then entered the living room, "Hey, why is your sister crying? What happened?" Professor Membrane questioned. "She just lost a friend. She lost someone who was very important to her.." Dib stated simply, before they headed upstairs themself.

Once changed into pajamas, Dib headed to Gaz's room, with a surprise in hand.

He carefully opened the door, peering inside.

There he saw Gaz sniffling and sobbing in a corner of her room.

He felt a sense of discomfort at the sight of her crying. It was strange, perhaps a bit uncanny even. Gaz almost never cried. But this was one of the rare moments where she did.

Gaz opened her eyes, clouded with tears. She had heard the sound of her door opening. Yet she didn't have the strength to muster a "get out". She was hoping that maybe it was her Dad, but of course, this was just a case of wishful thinking.

There was Dib.

He got down to her level, he was wearing that stupid robe he always wore around the house and a baggy shirt of Squidmund Tentacles from Sqaurebob Sponge-pants. He was also wearing some pajama pants and slippers.

Gaz froze, a tear rolling down her cheek. She opened her mouth in a attempt to scream at Dib to "get out" but she couldn't. Dib then wrapped their arms around her, embracing her in a awkward hug.

"It's okay, I got you." They coaxed soothingly, gently stroking their sister's back. Gaz wanted to push them away, but couldn't. She smashed her face into Dib's chest, starting to cry into his shirt.

The two stayed like that for a good moment, before Gaz let out a sniffle and stopped crying, without anymore tears left to cry.

Dib grabbed a tissue and cleaned his sister's face, before giving her a small pig shaped trinket. "Thank you" Gaz said so quietly that it was almost intangible. Dib just nodded, giving her a tight squeeze. He then pulled away.

"Dad made burritos for dinner by the way. He only made chicken though- no salmon." Dib said.

"Ew not the salmon." Gaz remarked with a chuckle in a quiet voice. Dib just chuckled before grabbing Gaz's hand to help her up.

Zim sat on the floor, staring at the cold muted magenta and light purple tile.

Zim had a frown, yet it's eyes were unreadable.

Gir couldn't help but notice. "Are you okay, master?"

"it's okay Gir, I'll just get over it… just like I always do." Zim replied in a emotionless manner, sighing. "I'm fine" it insisted.

Gir rose its eyebrow, unconvinced. "But master, you loved that girl! And then she hurt you! How are you okay after that?"

"I-I don't love anything!" Zim insisted with a stammer, "Irkens don't love! Only defects do!"

Gir then wrapped his little arms around Zim, who flinched. But it allowed Gir to hug it. Gir then pulled away, "Is there anything i can do to help?" Gir questioned, having a slight southern accent it always had when it wasn't screaming its head off.

"N-no Gir. I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Zim insisted once again, before getting off the floor and heading down to the laboratory.

Gir watched as Zim went downstairs with flattened dog ears.

Zim sat on the floor, staring at it once again. Just like xe had been doing just a bit ago.

Xe felt the strange sensation of xyr eyes watering, no!

Zim then let out a sniffle, clenching xyr knees up against xyr chest.

Before he knew it, sweet sugary tears began to dribble down his cheeks, black eye liner dripping down along with it. He stood still, as an desperate attempt to stay quiet. But this silence could not be a achieved.

I can't take it anymore!

With that, Zim started bawling into its black jean pants. No longer able to contain its emotions.

And well, before it knew it, it'd practically cried itself to sleep. In a lump of depressed Irken.