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“So…no Parcheesi?” Kaitlyn says, sucking in a breath of air. Dylan flashes her an amused grin and jabs her with his elbow.
“You were being messy back there, Miss Ka,” he says. “Not to point fingers, but it almost feels like you wanted to ruffle Jacob’s feathers.” He’s teasing, as per usual, but he holds a glint in his eyes that is far too knowing for her liking.
For all his stupid jokes and blasé demeanor, Dylan is more observant than he lets on. If Kaitlyn hadn’t decided she would take a bullet for him on their second day of camp, she thinks she would have decked him right there.
Instead, she scoffs and rolls her eyes. “Please, he did that all by himself.”
“I dunno, you were kinda the evil mastermind here.” Kaitlyn shoots Ryan a glare and he raises his hands placatingly, though he’s still trying - and failing - to fight back a smile. “Hey, I respect it, Jacob needs a little humbling every now and then.”
She huffs a small laugh, but her stomach pangs with guilt. She’s known Jacob since they could walk and, yeah, the guy could be a douche, but she knows how big his heart is. He’s a big, dumb dog with a bleeding heart that he wears on his sleeve, and Kaitlyn…
She swallows, hard and thick. She didn’t want to hurt Jacob, of course, but it was getting harder and harder to sit back and watch him and her.
“Hey, guys,” a breathy voice breaks Kaitlyn out of her thoughts and her eyes snap up. “Am I interrupting?”
Emma has a thin veil of sweat on her forehead, and Kaitlyn’s eyes track the movement as she raises a hand to wipe it. More interestingly, though, she’s alone.
“Hey, Em,” Dylan greets, suddenly perking up. “Where’s Jake?”
“Ugh, no idea.” She frowns, brows knitting together. She casts a glance over at Kaitlyn, who pointedly looks back at the fire pit. “I went down to the lake ‘cause that’s where he usually goes, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. Maybe he went to the woods with Abi?”
“The woods?” Kaitlyn bites her lip in concentration, trying to recall a moment during camp where Jacob snuck off into the woods and drawing a blank. “I doubt it, especially if he wanted to be alone...”
“Y’know what!” Dylan abruptly stands, clapping his hands together. “Me and Ryan will go find him. I’m sure he’s in, like, the lodge or something.”
“We will?” Ryan questions, cocking an eyebrow. Dylan flashes him a look Kaitlyn can’t decipher and Ryan is rolling his eyes, standing up. “We will.”
Emma reaches for the gun beside Kaitlyn, handing it to Ryan. “Here, just in case. This place is giving me the heebie jeebies tonight.”
“I’m hurt, why don’t I get the gun?” Dylan places a hand on his chest, face twisting into an exaggerated grimace. “That’s cold, Em.”
She snorts, reaching up to ruffle his hair. “I love you, but I do not trust you with a gun. I want Ryan and Jacob back in one piece, thank you.”
“Jeez, have a little faith.” He rolls his eyes at the way Ryan chuckles, but he looks so pleased it almost makes Kaitlyn grin. “Alright, let’s roll out, big guy.”
He shoots Kaitlyn a smile, nudging her before he takes off with Ryan down the path. He knows, because of course he does.
She’s torn between feeling overwhelmingly grateful for his meddling, and icy fear at being trapped with Emma. Alone.
She should’ve just punched Dylan.
“Man, I knew he would flip his lid but…that was a lot,” Emma says, flopping down on the log beside Kaitlyn. She’s either blissfully unaware of the way Kaitlyn stiffens, or she’s being polite and ignoring it. “I know the guy has big feelings, but it was a game.”
“Well, don’t give him all the credit,” Kaitlyn replies flippantly, mentally kicking herself at the way Emma blinks in surprise. “I kinda set you up so…er, that’s my bad.”
“Nah.” Emma smiles, so small yet genuine that Kaitlyn can feel her heart skip a beat. “It’s not your fault - it’s a game, right?” She kicks her feet outwards, disrupting the dirt near the fire pit, and sighs. “It just sucks because I do want to be cool with Jacob and, like, I don’t wanna sound conceited, but he’s still really…hung up on me.”
“You? Conceited? Psh, never.” Kaitlyn grins at the way Emma laughs. “I get it, though. Jacob can be…tough. I love the guy, but he always falls into the puppy love trap.”
“Yeah…” Emma suddenly looks uncomfortable, fidgeting on the log. “I think - I feel like it’s my fault. Er, most of it, I guess, for indulging him as much as I did.”
Kaitlyn’s brow twitches and she has to fight to keep her face neutral. “What do you mean?”
Emma looks off, into the woods, and chews her lip. It’s similar to the way she did when feigning to consider the party earlier, but with her eyes squinting and brows pinched tight, it looks more like a genuine nervous habit. Kaitlyn feels slightly embarrassed at how endearing she finds it - but only slightly.
“It wasn’t entirely intentional, but it was still pretty shitty of me to even agree to…a fling with him at all. It’s not fair, ‘cause…” she trails off, shutting her eyes completely as if she’s trying to visualize the words. “I just wanted to fit in, really.”
“Fit in,” Kaitlyn repeats. “With, like, the group?”
“Mm, yeah, kinda.” Emma leans her cheek against her shoulder, finally meeting Kaitlyn’s eyes. “But more…in general, you know? The whole ‘being a counselor and having a fun last summer before college’ kinda thing. It’s supposed to be fun, and…easy.”
Kaitlyn pulls one leg up, wrapping her arm around it to conceal the way her fingers tremble. “But it’s…not easy?”
“I want it to be,” Emma affirms, but it comes out hushed. “Like, for my friends back home, it is. And I wanted that, too, but…it feels so fake. I’m used to faking a lot of stuff for, like, content, but this…just feels like lying to myself. And Jacob.”
Kaitlyn’s heart leaps to her throat and she’s unable to form a sentence with the way her words scramble together in her mind. Thankfully, Emma continues without prompting. “Besides, I think I was just trying to distract myself with Jacob from…the person I actually like.”
Her stomach drops. Of course Emma likes someone at camp. Someone that wasn’t Jacob, but also someone that wasn't Kaitlyn. She looks away again, watching the way the summer breeze scatters the ashes.
“Yeah?” She tries not to cringe at the way her voice wavers just the slightest. “I hope it’s not Dylan, ‘cause he’s balls-deep in love with Ryan.”
“Shut up.” Emma shoves her with a scoff, half amused and half frustrated. “It’s…not a guy. That’s the issue.”
“Ah.” Kaitlyn picks at a hole in her leggings. “So, Abi…?”
Emma turns, scanning Kaitlyn’s face for… something. Her eyes are hazel, something Kaitlyn frequently noticed, but the glow of the fire against them makes them look softer than ever. They sparkle with something Kaitlyn wants to understand, along with all of Emma’s little quirks.
“No. Not Abi.”
Kaitlyn sits up straight, her sneakers digging into the dirt. “What?”
“Oh, c’mon,” Emma teases, but it’s gentle. “You’re smart, put the puzzle together.”
“Are you messing with me?” Kaitlyn says, narrowing her eyes to catch any sign of joking on Emma’s face. “Is this…for real?”
“Of course I’m not messing with you, Kait.” Emma scoffs, but she doesn’t back down. “I like you. You’re super badass and tough, really pretty, and you don’t take shit from anyone. I thought you just intimidated me - and you did, at first - but…yeah.” She flushes, and it’s so uncharacteristic for Emma to look shy.
“I’m nervous,” she admits, and Emma’s eyes widen a fraction in surprise. “I don’t get nervous, but you make me nervous, and it - it freaks me out, okay? Plus, there’s Jacob…” The pang of guilt in her stomach serves as a nasty reminder, her act of betrayal dangling over her head. “He likes you, a lot, and I care about him, this…it just can’t…”
Emma cuts her rambling off with a soft, warm palm against her knee. “Hey - I get it. We don’t have to do anything about it, really, I just…” She smiles, practically dripping with sympathy, and squeezes gently. “I just wanted to be honest with myself once before the summer ends.”
The fire crackles, filling the gaps in the silence that falls between them. Kaitlyn is watching Emma’s lips, the way she’s anxiously tugging on them with her top teeth. She knows that she should pull away, wait for Jacob to come back, and put this camp on the back burner of her mind. She knows that’s the logical route - and Kaitlyn is a logical person.
But Kaitlyn is the one who leans in to close the distance, her hand coming up to wrap around the back of Emma’s neck and tug her closer. She can taste her bubblegum chapstick from this morning, feeling the way Emma returns the gesture and slides her own hand into Kaitlyn’s hair. Perfectly manicured nails gently scrape her scalp, a jarring reminder that this is really happening.
She feels greedy, leaning into each touch, but she can’t find the shreds of guilt when Emma is smiling against her lips and laughing breathily at the way her lipstick smears.
“Oh, my gosh!” They jerk apart, eyes wide until they spot Dylan, grinning so wide it looks like it’s hurting his cheeks. His arm is slung around and squeezing Ryan, who looks disgruntled as per usual, but is smiling just as much. “I totally set this up - Ryan, I told you!”
“Yeah, yeah, you’ll get a medal.”
“A medal and a wedding invite to be the best man.”
He cackles, just narrowly dodging the stick Kaitlyn chucks at him but she’s grinning, lipstick smeared across her mouth, and she can’t even pretend to be annoyed.
Emma wraps an arm around her, tugging her against her chest with a laugh, and Kaitlyn decides, right then and there, that they would be okay.