Chapter Text
What it was about soccer, Khun Aguero Agnis couldn't begin to comprehend.
If asked, Khun would assume it was probably something about supporting a team, united as one, that transcended borders. To be fair, it wasn't as if he was an active player himself. But as the student council president he ought to know why the overwhelming majority of his fellow students would sacrifice their precious Friday evening plans to cheer on the boys soccer team.
As the shouts increased and the opponent - their neighboring high school - was nearing their own team's goal, the agitated crowd roared. Perhaps it's got to do with the innate human desire to win, Khun thought. Fuel, for inspiration and adrenaline. Motivation, to chase after your own dreams.
That's what he would argue, when trying to answer why soccer was such a huge thing at Tower High.
But watching his fellow classmates struggle on the pitch, desperately throwing themselves after the soccer ball, with no coordination or even a semblance of tactic, Khun couldn't help but take back all of his words in shame.
Where an opportunity arose, immediately another closed. Instead of moving forward decidedly, some players chose to linger in the back and thus left massive holes in their defense upfront. By no means would Khun describe himself as a soccer expert, but even he could tell that their players were moving like utter fools; chasing mindlessly after the ball, without a proper plan, as if they were just asking for a complete loss. With every additional pass, the crowd surged forward. Promptly, Khun was swept away with the sheer volume and enthusiasm radiating with every single screaming voice.
Especially when their number 25 emerged seemingly out of nowhere, racing upfront in order to catch the opponents striker. Like a bolt of lightning the striker aimed for the other's left side, intercepting the ball while trying to save his team from an incoming goal.
As the two boys battled for the ball, Khuns' breath stopped in anticipation; it wasn't everyday he got to see Jyu Viole Grace in action, working his magic on the pitch. The boys battled it out and the crowd spectated, exhilarated. Sweat was dripping down their foreheads, muscles strained - yet nothing more was more important than that racing ball in front of them, at all costs.
At least that's what Bam's face read, as he zoomed right past the onlookers, paying no mind to the high-pitched screams when he passed his resident fan-club. Right past Khun, who was gazing at the scene with wonder in his eyes.
Almost like it was instinct, his body moved alongside the striker. To Khun, it had been far too long since he was able to feel that rush, too long since he had seen Bam prove why he was considered a genius on the field. But now that he had him so close, he remembered why; it always felt like he was being ignited with something otherworldly, something intoxicating.
The tension rose, screams from the crowd and couch Evankhell intertwining, melting into one loud roar. Khun could almost taste the frustration from the past 79 minutes and the impending hope with their star striker finally making a move.
Subconsciously, Khun instinctively trailed along the direction Bam was racing towards, now in front of their goal, ready to defend it at all costs.
Subconsciously, he happened to completely miss the direction Bam was aiming to shoot the ball at. Which happened to be to the left, off the pitch. Right where Khun was currently tightly gripping his speech, intently gazing at the back of the number 25.
And then, also subconsciously, Khun remained frozen, still like a statue, as the sharp interception from Bam and thus, the ball, suddenly came flying towards him at an extraordinarily fast pace.
In hindsight, that fraction of a moment shouldn't feel that long to a normal human being; but to Khun it had felt like an entire lifetime had passed between them, in the three seconds their eyes snapped to each other. Perhaps that was why only then he realized that it had been seven entire months since he last saw the other play.
A second ticked away. Ah. So Bam was still able to make that face, Khun helplessly remarked, before the inevitable would strike him.
Another second passed, and then, unapologetically, the football crashed into his face.
Without any mercy, it sent Khun wildly tumbling to the ground; his speech, keychain and dignity completely cluttering to the ground. So much for a peaceful game, was what Khun last thought, before black overtook his vision.
“Wh-”
A second passed, then two - or maybe it had been two minutes already? Khun couldn't tell anymore, his sense of time and place distorted.
“-hun-”
Stars swam around his vision. Distantly, Khun heard voices, merging into one and then dissipating into sharp sounds again. Everything was spinning, the world suddenly engulfed in wild colors and sounds. Frankly, to Khun it felt like this was how being on drugs must be. When he concentrated really hard, Khun was finally able to make out some panicked shouts. “-resident!” Another one, “Khun-ssi!” And then, “Khun!”
The sharp sounds felt like stabs to his ears. “Oh my god, are you okay!?” Despite being far away, to Khun, Shibisu's voice was like a shrill directly penetrating his ear canal. It might be better to feign unconsciousness, Khun painfully thought. Instinctively, he winced away from the sound.
“He's not dead, is he?” Ugh. Khun groaned in annoyance; even with his probably concussed state, Wangnan's anxious voice managed to reach even through the last semblance of his consciousness. It was known that their principal's son was very easily scared, so it should come to no one’s surprise that Wangnan was probably more panicked than Shibisu was.
Then, Endorsi, of all people, snapped at the fussing boys. “Why would he be dead? Shut the hell up!”
Suddenly, another figure emerged above him. But this time, the person took care in completely covering his body with their own, the shadow gracing him with slight relief of the dancing colors around him. A delicate touch found his way to his shoulder; Khun was immensely grateful that this person was not daring to touch his already messed up face.
“Khun-ssi,” the voice breathed, careful.
Ah.
Unwillingly, Khun's heart picked up its pace. There was only one person who seriously called Khun by that title. So after all he had decided to check up on him.
Wait, that thought should not make him feel so giddy, Khun realized in a snap. So, despite really itching to, Khun decided to not react. Play dead, feign unconsciousness just for a second longer. At his pathetic act, Khun refused to open his eyes, and not only because it was genuinely physically unbearable, but also because he wanted to spare Bam the disgusting display of his messed up face.
“Khun?” Bam's voice sounded bewildered, slightly taken aback at the lack of a reaction. Internally, Khun just frantically shook his head.
Nope, not happening. It may seem utterly illogical and perhaps something akin to brattiness, but Khun refused to budge on this. His first encounter with Bam, his reunion after seven months, couldn’t be him laying there pathetically, with the entire school watching him get knocked out by a football.
Even though he scrunched his eyes really hard, the shadow above him still moved. “Please-” Bam desperately pleaded, “-can you open your eyes for me?”
Involuntarily, Khun's heart skipped a beat.
From the beginning of time, Bam just had a certain way with words, always had this one specific tone where Khun just couldn't refuse him, no matter how much he wished he was capable of. Always getting his way with a sweet smile and a pleading eye; that's who Bam was.
Khun's eyes twitched to open and if this was all it took, then Bam may very well be his demise. He was truly damned, at how quickly he gave in already.
Slowly, Khun started fluttering his lashes open and then, light flooded his vision, figures washing away and re-emerging, colors popping and - there.
There he was. Bam cradled his cheek, softly, and flashed him a gentle smile; “There you go,” he grinned. Khun blinked, a second, and then two; Bam's face was sharp, handsome, and achingly familiar. But his hair was shorter, way shorter than it had been seven months ago.
Eyes trailing over Bams shoulders, Khun had to take a moment to process the lack of hair there. Back then, he had hair cascading down his back, as long as a waterfall - soft, luscious brown locks reaching his knees. It was both absolutely ridiculous and gorgeous. Surprisingly the school board and previous student council did not have a problem with a boy having such long hair, as long as he tied it up and kept it neat looking. Probably also because the school board was infested with his fathers influence and they just adored Bam on all accounts.
So, Khun was a little taken aback when Bam looked down at him, tiny ponytail swinging with his movements. For a second Khun thought that he might be hallucinating, considering the state his mind was in - but even after blinking thrice, Bam still appeared above him, with short hair and those damned golden eyes.
Quickly, Khun had to realize that this was absolutely dangerous territory. With his heart already wildly racing, he now also felt nervous sweat breaking out and the constant headache worsening. The student council president almost laughed out loud; all that, and it only took a three second glimpse of Bam to make him feel like he was fourteen years old again.
In order to prevent more accidents from happening, Khun inhaled sharply, and then tried disregarding the warm weight on his torso. “Can you get off me already?” Slowly, almost reluctantly, Bam moved, yet kept his worried gaze on him.
If he was secretly disappointed at the warmth leaving his body, then Khun would have strongly denied that. Sighing deeply, he just laid there for a second longer, breathing - he most certainly didn't have the strength to get up anytime soon.
A pop of blue appeared in his peripheral view. “Damn, you look busted, A.A.” Ran chuckled to himself, chewing on the crisps he kept popping into his mouth. As if this was casual entertainment on a Thursday night for him. What an ungrateful brat.
Khun huffed, “Fuck off and help me up.” Bam, on the other hand, seemed worried at Khun's rather firm request. Several murmurs and knowing glances passed the group, before the boy spoke up. “Uh, not to alarm you Khun, really, but you look-”
Not this again. Already agitated, Khun rolled his eyes, or rather, tried rolling his eyes. He shifted to his side, supporting his shoulder and tried sitting up, dizziness be damned. “Look what?” He hissed. Dangerously, Khun wobbled to the other side, “Spit it out, I need to hold my speech soon-”
At the mention of that, Shibisu perked up as well, “Listen, about that speech-” He took a wary look at Khun's face, wincing. “Maybe you shouldn't go out looking like that.”
“Looking like what?”
A snort caught him off-guard, the sound jarring to the constant roaring in his ears. Endorsi spat out in annoyance, her eyes bright and irritated. “Like you were literally run over by a damn truck!”
In contrast to Khun's pathetic attempt, the girl properly flipped her hair over her shoulder; her cheerleading uniform a splash of color amidst the bright lights of the field. “Just go to Hansung and stop complaining like an idiot!”
In response to her taunts, Endorsi was shoved by an elbow. "Endorsi!" Yihwa hissed. Her eyes darted to Khun, warily, before she added, “You know how he gets with his appearance!” That didn't warrant Endorsi with the response she wanted, as the annoyed twitch of her brow let them know. Quickly, Yihwa stammered out, “W-What, I am right!”
In that moment there was nothing more Khun craved than a long eye roll. Dealing with the idiots that were his classmates was always draining. But today, everything seemed ten times more exhausting.
Remembering he had a speech to hold, Khun tried to make out the paper in his hand and thank god, it was still there. Khun's head was already aching greatly, but the student council president refused to go out like that, especially considering who had succumbed him to this fate. He gazed down upon his hands, willing his vision to unblur (which nearly took up all of the energy he had by itself). The paper donning his speech was crumpled and stained and - wait, since when was the paper red? He was pretty sure it had been white ten minutes ago. Dread filled his stomach, but even at his (mostly correct) gut feeling, Khun couldn't help but let his stubborn pride take over.
It couldn't be that bad, it was just a soccer ball, Khun tried convincing himself. As if Bam's blow would be that powerful to take someone out.
"Guys, I'm fine-” Khun tried getting up; in the process he sprang up, to show everyone exactly how fine he was,“-see?
He took one step forward and promptly blacked out. In resignation, Hatz slapped his forehead. “And that's another concussion for sure.”
.
.
.
Later, Khun would say that calling the infirmary a mess would be a complete understatement.
Concern merged with laughter, as several voices woke Khun from his concussed slumber. To his left, a high-pitched voice whispered, “I don't think Khun is doing too well.” A snort to his right emerged. “Well no shit, Sherlock.” Above him, the bright lights were already making it hard for Khun to regain his view and then, from further away, another comment. “I mean, have you seen the thick bandages on his nose?”
For fucks sake, couldnt his idiot classmates at least leave him alone to rot in peace?
Promptly sitting up, Khun glared at his blurry surroundings, hoping to intimidate the offenders by his sudden reawakening. "If my nose is even an inch crooked, you better be calling your lawyer by now.”
"See, he's doing just fine.” Endorsi huffed, rolling her eyes. “Our dear president just needs to stop being so dramatic all the time.” She moved to reapply her lipgloss and Khun was this close to smacking the tube right out of her hand. When she was satisfied with the result, the cheerleader turned to Khun again, snickering. “I mean it was pretty stupid of him to wander around there in the first place.”
A nerve popped in his head, the onslaught of a migraine already sped along the way. “I wasn't wandering off!” he snapped.
“Still makes you the idiot that ended up in the infirmary.”
Before Khun could retort, much to his surprise, Bam of all people decided to intercept. “If someone has to be the idiot, it's definitely that striker from the Lo Po Bias,” the soccer player casually remarked. “That asshole couldn't even get the damn ball. Some striker he was,” Bam hissed, intently inspecting the bandage on Khuns nose while disinfecting the wound on his own knee.
Khun blinked, once and then twice.
Sat on the bench, right next to the emergency room, was Bam, treating his own wound. Immediately, the sight sparked something familiar in Khun, something he used to know about the other boy. That thing about not wanting to bother the staff when he could very well just do it himself.
At least some things stayed the same, Khun softly smiled. But then, in the same breath, he raised his eyebrow in question - as best as he could considering how concussed he was. Bam, actively cussing out someone? This must be a parallel universe Khun had been dropped in, it seemed. But scanning the other up and down, Bam raised no further suspicion, as he paid no mind to Khun's doubtful glare. He simply continued patching himself up.
After gracelessly passing out on the field, Khun found himself in the school infirmary, but not alone, no; instead, all of his friends gathered in the tight space and decided to bombard Khun with their opinions about the incident.
Opinions, he quite literally couldn't give a single damn about. All he wanted was some space and quiet, not to be the object of everyone's Friday night entertainment.
Glancing to his side, Khun took another look at Bam, still bewildered by his statement. Technically, judging by his own words, Bam would be even worse off than that Lo Po Bia boy, as he was the one who had ruined the face of the student council president and totally missed the shot on top. And Khun had missed taunting the other just a little.
“If he was an idiot for just missing the ball-” Khun snorted, “-then what would that make you?”
Inside, the student council was a little happy, at challenging his former (mostly self-proclaimed) rival. On the outside, Khun was just blankly staring at Bam. However, the little futile hope he had was soon crushed, as the now apparently shameless boy flashed a deadly smile at him, spelling utter trouble for Khun.
“Well, how about your future husband?”
A beat passed.
In that moment Khun quickly realized that it was one thing dealing with the annoyance that were the cheerleaders, led by their menace Endorsi; facing the freshly returned captain of the soccer team was an entirely different experience altogether.
The day Bam had left for exchange was the first time in years Khun was finally able to breathe in peace. He couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was, but somewhere he felt like a space had lifted. He had felt relieved, almost freed from something.
But no, it all had to end when Mr. Grace decided to crash into his life again. Quite literally.
And as per usual, Bam was paying no mind to Khuns inner meltdown, Endorsi's animated shouts of protest, the giggles from Wangnan and Rans look of utmost disgust - instead continuing to patch up the last remaining wound on his knee.
Khun desperately buried his face back into the pillow, covering his ears with both sides of the cushion, his face burning with humiliation.
Someone, please get me out of here.
*
It was the first day of spring, as the cherry trees burst into bloom, when Jyu Viole Grace suddenly returned to school.
Not once had Khun ever understood the fascination around these special trees; after all, apparently it was only then that the season of romance sparked and the girls in his class would wear the same heart-struck expression of yearning.
Ironically, Endorsi was at the forefront of this silly movement; always complaining about when her prince would finally come save her, and then in the same breath when Bam would return to class; flicking her hair back and checking her phone, almost as if he would magically respond by her call.
Shibusu found it all the more hilarious; Khun found it painfully pathetic.
To him, spring was nothing more than a natural season of life. Generally Khun did not believe in associating certain seasons with something such as fleeting emotions. Just as with his fathers marriages, love and lust passed as quickly as that first cherry blossom of the year. That was the truth he learned at age six - nothing more, nothing less.
So, amidst the chatter and giggles, when he gazed out of the window, Khun didn't particularly feel anything special towards this notion of a new beginning.
With the freshly started semester and his now duties as the new student council president, the blue haired boy was just as engulfed in the school's politics and internal communications as before, leaving no room for reminiscing about love and crushes. On the contrary; it was only natural that Khun ended up taking on the left-over work from last year's president. And with their final semester starting and questions about colleges and career paths arising, this left even less room for Khun to channel his energy into anything besides his duties.
Suddenly, a shrill sound ripped Khun away from his thoughts; the bell rang, indicating that the last lesson for the school day ended. Finally, the official day was over, but to Khun, his after school schedule was just starting. Packing up his stuff, he barely noticed Shibisu and Hatz making their way over to him.
“Khun, my love!” Shibisu called out in delight, slinging his arms over Khun's shoulder. The other simply decided to ignore the shiver of disgust running down the newly elected school president's spine; instead, the boy just squeezed the last willpower out of his friend. “You coming to the arcade?”
Amused at the implication he would even have the time to indulge in such activities, Khun rolled his eyes. Since he ended up replacing the former senior president, Khun was determined to make some real changes to the school and its rather unexciting environment; perhaps plant a new tree or open new clubs? Try to strengthen the school culture? Try to appeal to more school trips? Khun knew he had real ideas and real ambition to leave his own mark; but that meant more work and less fun.
“No.”
“No?” Shibisu's lip quivered, “But Khun, you declined the last time as well! Loosen up a bit, it's our final year after all!”
Right.
This was their last year, before everybody would depart for university. After this, Shibisu would never ask him to join him on a spontaneous trip to the arcade again, or have Hatz chewing him out for breaking the school dress code by wearing his suspendium earrings, or Endorsi bemoaning her ill fate of needing a new skincare routine.
But as much as he wanted to; he couldn’t. Khun had a duty to fulfill. He sighed, “I really can't Shibisu, I am sorry.”
Shibisu huffed in defeat, “Fine.” Yet, the very next moment, his face lit up in mirth, “But at least come to the soccer game on Friday! The entire school will be there for the first game of the season and you know how good it gets!”
At the mention of the sport, Khun halted.
Soccer. It was his sport.
Unwillingly, he gulped down the beat his heart just skipped. Khun would really, really hate it if he ever encountered him on that field again, personally. His lips pursed, averting his eyes to anywhere but Shibisu's expectant gaze. “I don't know."
“If you so desperately need an excuse to come have fun, then just hold the closing speech then!”
That on the other hand made Khun perk up; that..was true. The closing speech had to be given. And he still hadnt had his formal introduction as the new student council president. It was stupid, the way he wanted so desperately to refuse the great opportunity - for no valid reason but his ego. In hindsight, Khun supposed he could at least grant his friends some of his time.
“Fine,” he agreed. Delighted, Shibisu lit up, coming to hug him from behind. “Khun!” Disgusted at the display of public affection, Hatz scowled. Fondly, internally Khun smiled to himself. What a bunch of idiots.
But then, Shibisu's grip loosened , as the boy took a tentative step back. Khun turned around, facing the boy. “By the way, I heard that- uh-”
At Shibisu's pathetic display, Hatz rolled his eyes, grabbing the seat next to Khun. “Just spit it out,” Khun sighed. Before Hatz took a bite of his sandwich, he responded to Khun's request instead. “You know, it's not like these girls are fussing around for no reason.”
Khuns' heart dropped.
“Remember why they even stopped in the first place?” Hatz rolled his eyes in annoyance, but then settled on a self-satisfied smirk. “Of course they'd be elated when he makes his grand return on Friday.”
Of course.
It just had to be the day when Khun's luck finally ran out, that the star player and darling of Tower High Jyu Viole Grace decided to make his grand return. On the single day Khun decided to grace the school with his attendance for once. Then, his eyebrows shot up; realization striking. Bam was supposed to be away for at least two more months. Yet, somehow he was apparently returning that very same week instead.
Deeply troubled, Khun furrowed his brows, gazing out of the window. The spring petals softly fluttered to the ground, hues of rosy pink mixing with the vibrant green of the blooming trees.
The scenery reminded Khun of the day Bam and he had first met, under the cherry blossom tree when they both were five years old, missing a tooth or two and blissfully unaware of the complexities of life.
Back then, all that mattered was the early spring breeze accompanying two boys on their path to a relationship neither was able to fully grasp. Or at the very least, Khun struggled to put a name to what they both were, to this very day. He had spent countless afternoons gazing out of his classroom, watching the boys soccer team train on the pitch. Countless days, carefully watching Bam's every move, every change in physics, as little or small.
And his soar in popularity. Bam's popularity with the teachers was no joke, but with the students? Khun could truly count himself lucky that Bam had no interest in running for student council president, or else he might have never had a chance to begin with. In his two years in the student council, starting as the accountant, then as vice president and finally as president, he had to carefully calculate all possible threats to his favoured position. From the day they met, it was always Bam this, and since middle school, Viole that. Bam was always a thorn to his cause, even if the other boy had nothing to do with it.
Back then, Bam was such a sweet boy, all smiles and politeness everywhere he went. It went even as far as addressing Khun as “Khun-ssi”, even though they were essentially the same age, with Bam being only a few months younger than him. Despite Bam's nice disposition, he could be incredibly stubborn, sometimes even more than Khun, especially when it came to his friends.
That quality of his more often than not was what got him into such troubles, one time even to the point of getting into a physical altercation. That day, Jinsung, Bam's martial trainer, had to be called to school.
Even though they used to go to the same class in middle school, Khun wasn't there to witness what exactly had transpired; but it had to be something that truly angered Bam, to the point of escalating it to physical violence. Of course, there were no real consequences for the school's darling boy; but from that day, Bam was a little less bright, a little less warm. He turned more inwards, spending more time in the library than on the pitch he used to so adore.
During these middle school days, Bam's hair grew to a point where it was hard to recognize him anymore. Those brooding bangs always obstructed his eyes, that shining gold that was so dear to many people around him. Khun never bothered to learn what had happened, but even he felt slightly bad at the dark window across his own dimly lit one.
So when Bam had suddenly left for exchange in their second year of high school, Khun thought to himself that it might be a good opportunity for Bam to grow out of that emo phase, perhaps live a little. However, he hadn't expected that much of a change in his former classmate.
Suddenly, he was outspoken, comfortably taking up space in rooms. Where it was his former sweetness that attracted people to him, it was now more than that; Bam was kind, but firm. Sweet, with a tang of spice. It was maddening, because now Khun couldn't calculate the accuracy in which Bam might intervene with his plans.
After all, Wangnan might be the principal's son, but Bam was the best friend of that very son. Even though the Khun family was also in favor with the Jahad family, it was not to be compared with the tight bond the Graces shared with the Jahads. He might have more influence than he realized, maybe even more than his father V.
It seemed like Khun was about to have some serious competition in his last year in high school, in all aspects. Despite being not only dashingly handsome and wickedly intelligent, Khun prided himself in his raw strength; for one he had never spent more than a few days bedridden, much to his ego and Ran's more weak constitution.
The days Khun spent laughing at his stupid face by his bedside were always a fond memory. But perhaps, this time, Karma had finally caught up to him. Because not only had Khun been stuck at home for eight entire days already, no, Bam just had to move back into his fathers house.
Which was situated exactly across his own.
Which meant that every day he was subjected to gazing into Bams window, dealing with the terrible sight of the athlete lounging around. Reading. Lipsyncing to whatever music was currently blasting through his headphones. Changing into something a little less offending than that a bit too tightly fitting soccer uniform. Pulling that damned jersey over his soft looking hair, slightly sweaty, and-
Okay. Embarrassed by the sudden turn of his thoughts, Khun shook his head in exasperation, at himself and his scandalous thoughts. It seemed that he was dehydrated, feverish and still very much concussed.
As the evening continued to creep in, Khun stubbornly remained in his bed, not wanting to risk catching a glimpse of the other. But he could only resist that much, his willpower already greatly weakened by his disastrous physical condition. Feeling claustrophobic by his stuffy room and intrusive thoughts, Khun finally decided to open his window and let some fresh air in.
At the first glance of the outside, he already regretted his choice, the sight of Bam immediately shocking his vision. Because there he was; Jyu Viole Grace in all of his glory, truly, as the soccer player was currently naked, only with a damned bath towel wrapped around his torso. Water dripped down from his brown bangs, accusingling glaring at Khun, as the droplets moved further to Bam's abs, and then even further down. Surprise flashed Bam's eyes, and Khun was left shell-shocked. “Oh.”
That was Bam, frozen and looking just as taken-aback as Khun felt. Snapping out of it, Khun quickly averted his gaze, pretending to not be affected at all. Instead, the blue haired boy just coughed out a muted, “-Bam.”
Sheepishly, the brown haired boy scratched his head, as if in shyness. The nonchalance of his demeanor betrayed his act however - he wasn't the slightest bothered by his certain lack of clothing. If Khun wasn't severely concussed he might have slammed his window open shut, as fast as he had slid it open. But these days, everything moved slowly for Khun, so he ended up staring for two seconds longer than he would have liked. Longer than he should have.
But he couldn't help it; Khun hadn't felt this way in seven months, hadn't seen that window occupied in such a long time. Seeing it full of life once again, moved something he didn't know existed in him.
Despite his obvious distracted gaze, Bam didn't seem bothered, no - it almost seemed as if he was amused. He moved to the side, as if in search of something. Khun blinked. What was he even doing? A harsh knock snapped him out of his thoughts. It was Bam, standing at his window again, holding up a piece of paper.
“Windows broken.”
Khun gaped, at the messily scrabbled message. For one, his handwriting was terrible. For two, didn't Bam know that phones existed for the very simple reason of efficiently communicating over distances?
The boy flipped to another page, “Really sorry about your nose.”
Deadpan, Khun just stood there, taking in the “apology”. If Bam thought that this fast scribble would cut it, he was deadly mistaken. For all that matters, he ended up being concussed! That had to count for something.
Just as he was about to storm over himself, concussion be damned, Bam clasped the sheet between his palms and in a snap, bowed so aggressively, Khun was worried he might split his head open on his bedroom floor. Only a moment later, Khun realized what Bam was trying to do. A traditional Japanese bow, a gesture for sincere apologies.
Something in Khun stirred, softening.
This was ridiculous, so utterly ridiculous; it couldn't be anymore silly. It would be very undignified behaviour to participate in his stupid notions. Yet, very uncharacteristically, Khun decided to grab his notebook. Scribbling as fast as he could, he wrote down the words, messy and raw. When he was done, he hastily threw the pen to his side and held up his paper in response, harshly knocking on the window to catch Bam's attention again.
At the ruttling sound, the brunette perked up, attention piqued and when he was able to decipher Khun's words, a little smile found its way onto his mouth.
“What happened to your hair?”
He saw Bam sigh fondly, exhaling and then, excitedly, grabbing his paper sheets again. Writing down his response, Khun was already guessing he would put extra effort in his writing again, making sure it was as neat as he expected of himself. When he was done, Khun was greeted with four simple words.
“Had to cut it.”
Bam then threw the sign to his side, and slid another one out.
“Coaches orders.”
Ah. Khun nodded to himself, in agreement. “That makes sense.”
Evankhell surely was like that, and even her favorite student, freshly returned, would not be exempt from her rigid rules. Her reputation for razing pure hell on her players was not founded on rumors - if you managed to emerge from that hell however, you were practically invincible.
Until now, Bam had been able to withstand her innate wishes to cut his absurdly long hair for a long time, but having been absent for seven months didn't put you in the best spot with the coach. Khun supposed even the principle's favor couldn't do much for the ponytail anymore. Judging by the way the brown strands barely reached the athletes shoulders, that must've been the longest he was allowed to wear his hair.
Nodding along, Khun signaled to Bam that he got his message, signing an “OK”. At first, Bam smiled in response, but then it seemed as if he got an idea again and in a second, reached for his sheets again. Starting to get used to the others' antics, Khun already knew the boy was up to no good. Bam smirked, and then pinned the paper to his window.
The words on the paper simply spelled, “You like it?” A winky smiley accompanied his messy handwriting.
Khun rolled his eyes and didn't grace that question with an answer. Instead, he slammed that damn window shut and called it a day from then on; he had done too much already.
Faintly, Khun could swear that he was able to hear Bam's delighted laughter from across the street.
*
“And thus, the nomination for the vice president should commence this week if we want to start by April.”
Shibisu nodded along, writing down everything Khun said, as accurately as he was able to. It wasn't easy with the fast pace the president went along with, but he could only try his best, now that he was the recorder of the new student council.
Not every position had been filled thus far, which was the very reason they were trying to nominate the candidates they would prefer. Shibisu was in clear charge of writing the protocol, as the other students actively discussed their top choices for the positions. As the student council president, Khun was there to lead and listen to his fellow students with his guidance. While the others animatedly exchanged arguments, Khun's gaze focused on the image of Hockney, silently scribbling away at something in the corner, trying to avoid as much eye contact as possible.
Creative, but too easily intimidated.
When scouting for candidates, Khun did not only value academic intelligence, but other important social skills as well. Their ability to think outside the box for one, as much as public speaking abilities. The ability to properly formulate ideas and pursue them, even in face of hindrances. It wasn't an easy quest, finding people he liked working with, but it was the chase that awarded Khun the most pleasure.
Personally, he already had a favourite candidate for the vacant spots of the accountant and vice president. Elaine was trustworthy and steady, while Hwaryun could easily outshine others with her almost otherworldly instinct. They would surely make a fine addition to his council, Khun deduced. Thus, he saw no need to keep paying attention to the nomination of his fellow students.
He moved to grab his keychain, the sweetfish that accompanied him everywhere he went. Sometimes, he liked to simply hold his keychain in his hands, steady and a comforting weight. It was a habit, one he had been cultivating from a very young age. Reaching for the side of his zipper, Khun tried to feel the place where the chain usually was. But when his fingers went to grab the carved metal, they found nothingness.
Khun's brow furrowed, as he turned his head towards his bag, where the keychain would be attached to.
And was promptly gone.
His eyes darted across his bag, opened the insides, inspecting every corner; yet no matter where he looked, his keychain was gone.
With his keys, Khun kept the keychain meticulously on him - it wasn't as if he was religious, but he truly was attached to this particular keychain. Held a special meaning for it, believed it to be his lucky charm, took good care of it and brought it everywhere with him. After all, Agnis had gifted it to him.
And now it was gone.
Khun had to bite back his rising anxiety. His sweetfish was gone and Khun didn't know where he had dropped it. At this point he was bordering somewhere between ice-cold panic and searing heat threatening to swallow him whole.
“President?”
Oh. Khun looked up, blanched, at the concerned faces of his students. Shibisu, to his left, furrowed his brow in confusion. Right, he was still at the student council. Khun shook his head, as if denying it would make the current reality go away. But the situation remained the same, the facts still cold and hard.
The keychain was gone.
Forcing his voice to sound even, Khun swallowed the panic and schooled his expression to one of nothingness. “It's nothing.” Some people turned away, some exchanged curious glances.
Surprisingly, Hockney spoke up from behind, his voice soft and rich with concern. “Are you sure? You seem a bit out of it.”
“It doesn't matter. Carry on.” Khun did not find it in him to argue any further and so decided to simply put an end to questions with a firm hand.
In truth, nothing mattered more to Khun. But in life, there was no time to idly chase after delusions and emotions, and so the student council president simply carried on, completely blind to the watching eyes from the back of the room that traced his every move.
Shortly after, they left.
For the remaining time of the meeting, the clouds over Tower High darkened, a single drop of rain following not long after. Soon, the droplets turned into showers of rain, painting the world in a dark grey. How fitting, Khun somberly thought to himself. His fellow council members sensed that their president was definitely not in a good mood anymore, as his sharp attitude and stern gaze indicated. Thus, they moved to wrap up pretty quickly.
Immediately, once the meeting ended, Khun sprang up and searched every corner of the room, every chair, every table, even behind the lockers and underneath the teachers desk.
But nothing.
The keychain remained missing.
Despite the sinking feeling in his stomach, Khun resumed his search for the keychain, running around the school corridors, for any clue he might find on the missing item. Single roars and flashes of lightning snapped him out of his frantic search, as the weather worsened to the early stages of a thunderstorm. The sky had turned to a deep grey, almost purple-hue, with the rain showers loudly declaring Khun a loser.
It was almost as if God was sending him more than just a sign, telling him to abandon that piece of metal and move on. But if Khun moved on now, he would abandon everything he worked for, his very reason for holding on the way he had up until now. It would mean going against everything he vowed, everything he promised a long time ago.
Everything he-
Something in Khun ignited, as he suddenly felt the fierce urge to race outside.
As fast as he could, his legs carried him outside, the onslaught of rain immediately slapping him in his face. Agonzing were the steps that carried him to the field, where he was snapped unconscious, where he was reunited with those damning golden eyes, which distracted him so greatly from his cause. Why he longed to go there, he didn't know. But with every step he took, Khun sensed this urgency, this need to return to the very place that threw him off his axis.
When the field came into sight, wet and distorted by the grey showers, at first Khun wasn't able to make out much. But as the seconds passed, brown started emerging within the greys and green, with a small figure hunched away in the distance.
Panting and with no clue, the blue haired boy marched up to the person as best as he could; the sharp rain completely soaking him wet, hair curling up at the ends, shoes splashing with every step. But that didn't matter; he was burning hot, so hot in contrast to the biting cold all around him. That fire seemed to ignite even more once he spotted a small brown ponytail and the boy's uniform, crouched over and looking for something in the grass.
Khun stopped before him, just gazing at Bam buried in the strands of wet grass.
Unwillingly, his heart started racing all over again, beating wildly against his ribcage. It was like he was gazing at the 13-year-old boy again, the one who was so bright, so featherlight. So different than the darkness that Khun harbored deep within him. Even back then, despite them always being in each other's orbit, Khun had felt like there was much more than separated them.
It was agonizing, facing all these feelings that were once deemed forgotten. Perhaps they were buried somewhere instead, and were now threatening to rush out all at once, if the dam broke.
Khun closed his eyes, for fear he might do something impulsively. Swallowing hard, he took a deep breath, let the water wash over him and opened his eyes again, to the sight of Bam sharply rising and loudly shouting some garbled words of success.
He was jumping around, in joy or what Khun might describe as proudness, praising something and then spinning around again. At the fourth turn, Bam finally seemed to recognize that he wasn't as alone in that vast field as he imagined.
As he turned around, he was promptly greeted by the blank stare that was a thoroughly soaked Khun. At the sight, Bam's face twisted in surprise, then confusion and then something between anger and concern. “Khun!” Despite the callout, Khun remained still. “Bam.”
The boy immediately walked over, grabbing Khun by the shoulder, “What are you doing here? You shouldn't be out here, it's storming - go inside!” His eyes scanned the other, taking in the wetness and shivering figure. Bams eyes narrowed, a frown emerging on his face. “Youll get sick again, if you stay here any longer-”
“What were you looking for?”
Even when being interrupted, with a gaze as sharp as Khun's, Bam didn't even flinch. Instead, he averted his eyes, almost in a sheepish manner. Then, "It's yours, isn't it?” Khun didn't know what to do with that statement, so Bam continued. “I remember you used to carry around that fish everywhere. And when you fell down at the game, I remember the little thing lying next to you, when you were unconscious.”
Ah. His heart rate picked up again, feeling a spark coming to life underneath all that ice. Bam, silly Bam; of course he noticed such tiny, seemingly useless details. Even when they ultimately brought nothing but trouble to him. It was just so Bam. Fondly, the brunette smiled at Khun, lips curving upwards. “I just wanted to bring it back to you. It must mean a lot.”
Despite burning to do something, expressing that onslaught of emotion somehow, Khun felt an urgent need to ask something else first. Something that was itching to be asked since the moment Bam returned to him, since he cradled his cheek so softly and gazed at him with nothing but kindness.
“Why did you have to do it now?” Bam seemed confused, slightly taken aback. At an expression like this, Khun doubled down, “Why now, in this terrible weather, risking your health when you have just returned to the team!”
With every word his anger rose, heat rushing to his head; it felt like he was being lit up in a passionate fire, the source being right in front of him. Clicking his tongue, he snarled, “Do you really think Evankhell is going to let you off easy?”
“I don't care about coach benching me.” Bam breathed, softly. His quiet words were almost drowned out by the heavy rain yet Khun heard every word crystal-clear. “What I care about is that something precious is returned to you.”
Khun gaped at the statement, then his firmly fists gripped the side of his school blazer.
Bam was so out of touch. So delusional. Who did he think he was, to let himself get sick over something so trivial, so insignificant to Bam's life?
Khun's things shouldn't matter to the other at all, shouldn't make him go out in a thunderstorm to look for something simply because it mattered to the other. That's not how they functioned.
With anger in his eyes, Khun clicked his tongue. “What do you want from me? And don't beat around the bush.” His eyes narrowed, “You never cared like that for me before, so why start now?”
“I did care for you-” Bam stopped himself, halted, as if he remembered something, and then started again, taking a deep breath. “Maybe I wasn't the best at showing it properly, but I did care about you- do care about you. We are friends, aren't we?”
“Friends?”
Old memories resurfaced, of them at the field, at the science fair, at lunch, in the playbox, in class, at home, in their garden. Memories of Khun distantly gazing at Bam from afar, the bright pupil and then the somber boy in the library, as well as the star athlete and darling of Tower High. Memories from a time, more easy and care-free.
Bam averted his gaze, smiling fondly. “I mean- We did grow up together. We've always been together, one way or another.” Then, Bam beamed at him, innocently and bright, so damn bright, that he alone drowned out the punishing rain with the warmth he radiated. It was utterly addicting, to be so near him again, to be soaking up the light. Khun felt cursed and blessed at the same time, with Bam kindly gazing upon him.
Khun's lips quivered. Why had they drifted apart?
“Aren't we at least friends?”
And this time, before it even started, Khun realized he had lost the fight.
This time, he didn't have the same anger stored up, the same hurt and pain fueling him to lash out.
This time, the flame was put out the moment he saw Bams back hunched back in the grass.
Fine.
Khun closed his eyes, mentally affirming himself for what he was about to do, and let his hand drop to his side. His finger twitched, longed to reach out; but Khun quickly curled his fingers back into a fist, hiding it in his pocket.
Instead, he guided his other hand into the space between the two, offering Bam a simple handshake, for him to clasp it tightly into his own. A sort of agreement, sort of truce. Not enough to make up for old wounds, but maybe for something to start anew.
Maybe Bam would want that too, to move into something new, together. He couldn't know, with the indescribable expression on Bam's face. Complicated, it read. Unfamiliar. Afraid.
And yet, Khun couldn't help but want to take a leap of faith rather than jump back into familiar waters. Eyebrow raised, he forced a confident smirk on his face, nonchalance and challenge dripping with the slight curve of his lip. “Friends?” He asked, as if he was negotiating just another deal. To others, his voice betrayed not a semblance of doubt; but deep inside, Khun was frightened.
Frightened at a possible rejection, at something he wasn't prepared to face; not being good enough for Bam anymore.
The rain slapped against the two of them, thunder slowly catching up to the field with the storm. When Khun was almost about to take his hand back, suddenly, warmth shocked him out of his focused gaze. The keychain remained firmly clasped within both their hands and the sheer feeling made something in Khun stir. His eyes found Bam's hand, tightly gripping his own and the visual almost made Khun feel sick with relief.
As he lifted his gaze to the soccer player's face, he was greeted with a fond grin; Bam lit up, his dimples smiling with him. “Friends!” Bam grinned and immediately, Khun's dull world regained a little speck of color it had once lost.
*
Of course, Bam fell sick immediately.
The following days, Khun couldn't help but trace back to the rainy field, to Bam. Now that the boy was absent, it should grant Khun some relief, some normalcy - yet all he could find himself thinking of was those damned eyes, the kindness in them; even the slight twitch of Bam's fingers, so closely entwined around Khun's sweetfish didn't go unnoticed.
The image of him, soaked in the rain, so earnestly sacrificing his time and health for Khun, seemingly haunted him. Frankly, it made Khun feel like he owed Bam something now. At least that's what Khun reminded himself of, before his mind dared to wander off elsewhere. Somewhere, where he might be more at fault than what he wanted to admit to himself.
Khun's eyes darted to their classroom window; the sky was white, with no trace of any clouds or color. It was static. Like the world fell still, no movement or traces of life left. The teacher's words drowned out, as Khun drifted away, to a day as motionless as he felt in this moment.
That day, the field was just as empty, the skies above them light grey. That day, he was crying, Bam. Golden eyes filled with so much pain, so much hurt; too much than what Khun would be able to dismiss. Funny enough, when he was faced with the same exact situation again, Khun wasn't able to hurl all that he wanted to say to the other. This time, he offered his hand.
Why had he done that?
Khun's vision cleared, the classroom coming into view again.
Instinctively, he knew what he had to do.
Later that evening, the blue haired boy contemplated whether he should really go along with his idea. Fingers twitching, the marker sitting next to him, with his own neatly written words glaring right back at the boy. Almost as if in accusation; why are you hesitating now?
Khun knew it wasn't exactly rational, but he couldn't help but feel apprehensive at the face of Bam, Bam gazing at him with those eyes, so alluring. It was almost a foreboding sense of walking right into his own demise. But even so, all of that didn't change Khun's innate desire to see the boy again. Gathering the little determination that sparked, he willed his body to move before his mind could freeze it for good.
In a spur, Khun sprang up and simply decided to march up to his own window, slamming it open in a grand gesture. Immediately, the cool evening air greeted him, the breeze caressing his cheeks and bangs. Narrowing his eyes, Khun blinked at the scene before him; Bams' window was closed.
So, Khun simply grabbed the little piece of chalk that he used for his notes and decidedly threw it against Bams window. A moment later, nothing happened. Khun swallowed down the immediate disappointment, involuntarily rising in his throat. But he couldn't give up just now, not when he had already tried and put his foot in the door.
Grabbing another piece of chalk, he threw it a bit harder this time, the sound of the impact echoing in the first hours of the young evening. A beat passed, two - yet still no response.
A flush started to creep up Khun's neck, cheeks burning hot. What was he expecting in the first place? For Bam to beck to his every call?
Khun had gotten carried away again. The board in his other hand shivered with him, as he moved to close his window again. However, in a split second, a sound emerged from the other side of the street, the light suddenly turning on. Khun was perplexed, a little taken aback; was that Bam rustling around? A moment passed, and then the window flew open, a panting Bam, with a towel hanging around his shoulders. His face was flushed, obviously still feverish. In his hands, he held a crumbled sign and a pen.
Smiling softly, at the disheveled mess that was his now friend, Khun simply held up his paper; let the few words speak for the confusing feelings plaguing him these past days.
“Are you okay?”
Khun didn't know what he expected, but he still felt his heart skip a beat at the grin that broke out on Bam's face. Anticipation rose in Khun, when Bam scribbled something eagerly, holding up his sheet of paper and-
Khun couldn't help the fierce blush creeping up his flushed cheeks at the words.
“Now that you are here.”
Instinctively, almost like a reflex, Khun slammed the window blinds shut again. Panic had taken over him in a split second, and not only had his heart started to race, no, his sanity was also speedrunning towards its downfall.
Where had this cheekiness, this sheer confidence in Bam emerged from? And why was it affecting Khun so greatly? Resting his head against the soft fabric of his window blinds, Khun closed his eyes, in hopes of drowning out the soaring of his heart. Khun had to calm down, calm this searing madness that was threatening to swallow him whole.
Later that week, when Khun had to deal with the student council actually demanding his attention, he came to the bitter realization that he had been lagging behind greatly. A lot more than he assumed he had, so much that he even missed out on the election for the accountant position and spot for vice president. But who could blame Khun for not exactly keeping the remaining student council elections in mind, when Bam suddenly occupied so much of it?
Khun fiddled with his key chain, twisting and turning. If that little thing would grant him a little peace from Bam in return, that would be most appreciated. “And for the last post, let me bring in the elected candidate with 13 votes-”
A door opened and from that moment Khun couldn't really pay much attention anymore, not when golden eyes came into view and a confident smile caught him completely off guard.
Speak of the devil and he shall appear, truly. When their eyes met, Khun's fingers slackened and let the keychain rattle to the floor with a loud metallic sound.
Immediately, Bam came closer, moving to pick it up for him. He bent down to the floor and delicately touched the offending piece of metal. Bam's fingers moved to pick up the fish, gently tracing the carvings of its scales, before lifting his eyes to Khuns. Gazing up at him were those damned golden eyes, so sincere. Lightly, their fingers grazed against each other. It was hypnotizing, like Khun was completely and utterly enchanted by the most simple gesture of kindness. Khun found it hard to look away, fearing the moment might end too soon. But then-
“Seems like our vice president already has to start cleaning up after the mess of our president!”
Khun's heart skipped a beat, shocked into stillness, before widely racing. The roaring in his ears drowned out the happy chatter and ensuing congratulations because Bam was the newly elected vice president of the student council.
His face must've reflected his shock, as Bam just looked at him, scratching the back of his head in a helpless gesture. “Hehe,” he innocently smiled. But Khun knew better; there was no innocence behind those eyes. In that gaze, Khun found a scheming devil, one who was disguised so well that even he had a hard time not falling into its deceitful, sickly sweet trap.
“You-!” But Khun found his words stolen, as Bam grasped his palm, firm and solid, and gently dropped his keychain in its warmth. At that very moment Khun realized that he for one) was inviting the devil right into his lair, and two) was officially screwed for the semester.