Day 1

Woke up in a weird science bed. Can't remember anything. Found pants. Hung out with an old man by a campfire- he gave me a book and pencil. Want to write this down in case I forget everything again.

But now my hand is tired. I'll get used to writing more soon but have to stop.

Day 2

A lot happened already. Old man says I can have his paraglider if I loot the shrines (there's 4) . Then I can get off this high plateau. Not sure I want to yet.

I forgot to mention that the first thing I heard, when I woke up, was a girl's voice, in my mind. She said I was "the light - our light-which must shine on Hyrule once again". Don't know what that means, but her voice is pretty.

I think I might have been an elite warrior. I killed like 25 monsters with a stick and took their stuff, I just knew how. But I forget my own name.

Oh right - the girl calls me Link. That's probably it.

I also forgot to say that I have a science thing called a Sheikah slate. The girl told me how to use it to open doors and stuff. You hold it up to these pedestals to make things happen. One made a huge tower sprout out of the ground like a fast plant. It turned on lights on all the shrines, when it did that.

I should probably care why all this happened and how but I don't? I don't remember who I am yet but I was not a scientist, that's for sure.

Writing thoughts down is slow and boring. It is more fun to pick herbs and hit things.

Day 3

I forgot to say that when I go in the shrines and use the pedestals, my slate gets new powers I can use. The first shrine made my slate a magnet so I can move hunks of metal around, and see them from far away. There are metal chests and swords everywhere, it's weird.

The old man showed me how to use the slate like a scope. There are shrines everywhere, and more towers. Now I want to go to them so I guess I need to get that paraglider after all. And he also showed me how to teleport to shrines I've visited before, which is awesome - it's just another button on the slate. Science is crazy powerful when other people do it, I guess.

There is a castle you can see from the tower. It was destroyed a hundred years ago by an evil monster called Ganon. It is actually called "calamity Ganon" but it is too boring to write "calamity" over and over again so I will call it Ganon. I think I want to go and fuck Ganon up with a sword.

Inside that first shrine was a robot. I hit it with a one ton metal brick so that it would stop lasering me. Today I saw a bigger robot, nearly broken, outside the shrine that gave my slate the power of blowing shit up. The robot nearly killed me, and hitting it didn't work. Better figure out what to do about that.

I remember how to cook. It turns out that I really like to make and eat food! I hunted a deer and picked mushrooms and herbs, and then gently sauteed them in a pot some monsters were using before I killed them with an axe. The sauteed herbs infused the meat with a delicate, almost earthy flavor which paired flawlessly- FLAWLESSLY- with the mycelial musk and umami of the mushrooms, truly transporting me to another realm of taste. Sublime.

Also I hit a rock and a ruby fell off it. It's pretty.

I wonder if the girl likes rubies? Like, that girl whose voice I hear sometimes. Maybe i'll meet her someday. I bet I know her already but forgot who she is.

Day 4

I teleported back to the old man and we hung out. He talks a lot - or at least, a lot more than I do- but is evasive.

I remembered how to cook peppers to keep myself warm. There is a pepper which pairs nicely with fish- I don't remember yet what the fish is called but I will when I catch one.

Update, noon: They've called Hylian Bass and you catch them by blowing them up with a bomb. I made a bold, spice-forward meal with the peppers and fish, light on the palate and yet warming and nurturing, and savored every bite.

Then I climbed a cold mountain and did another shrine. My slate can make ice now.

I forgot to say that all the shrines have an old monk. Whenever I'm done opening doors and pushing buttons and hitting robots in the face, the monk gives me his spirit and then, like, dies. The monks are like ten hundred years old. Were they just sitting around waiting for me to show up? Monks are weird.

Day 5

After floating a chest out of a lake (it had magic ice arrows) I climbed a mountain so I could see Hyrule. It is beautiful, and familiar. When you lose all your memories they come back in little bursts, like knowing what a fish is called, or in your body, like when you know how to write or how to kill 5 monsters with a stick. But also another kind of memory is when something is familiar. That kind is like being at home, or safe.

The old man was up on the top of the mountain too. He gave me a warm doublet because he was worried I would be cold on the mountain. That is nice.

Beside where the old man stood was a rough gravestone. Or, actually, more like a monument. It must have taken many strong men to raise such a stone. I wonder why the old man was hanging out there. He can get around faster than me, which is weird actually, but not as weird as the rest of the stuff that has been happening.

I wonder where all the other people in Hyrule are? Surely it is not just me and the old man. Some one must have left all these swords and chests and stuff lying around. I forgot to say that there are ruined buildings everywhere. Maybe Garon killed everyone a hundred years ago. That would be terrible.

I just remembered that normal people don't live for 100 years, so everyone I know - or, I guess, knew - is probably dead. That should make me really sad. It does I guess. But in a way the sadness doesn't feel real since I forget who all those people are anyway? I think? I don't think I've thought a lot about my own feelings before, even before I lost my memory. But they are kind of all I have to go on right now.

I did the fourth shrine and now my slate can freeze objects in time. Afterwards, the old man told me to come to a big ruined temple where he'd "tell me everything"? I'll go tomorrow. Today I want to make a honey-apple glazed steak with this courser bee honey I just found (I fought the bees with an axe) and then meditate by the fire until morning. It feels like I should maybe be sleeping more but I'm such an elite warrior that instead I can just eat and meditate. I am awesome.

Day 6

I went to the temple. Inside was a statue of a goddess whose name is Hylia (I remembered as soon as I prayed at the statue, which I just felt I needed to do at that moment).

Hylia spoke to me! I don't know why but I guess I can talk with the goddess now. She helped strengthen me, actually, helped me regain some part of my vitality using the souls of all those monks. She spoke to me exactly how the girl does, in my mind.

I just saw the old man waving to me from the ruins of the bell tower. Better get up there. I really hope the whole thing doesn't fall apart on me!

Update: 11:00am. Wow, what the crap.

The old man was the ghost of King Rhoam Bosphoramos Hyrule, the last king of Hyrule. He died when Garon destroyed everything 100 years ago.

The girl with the beautiful voice is King Rhoam's daughter. Her name is Zelda, which is a beautiful name. The king didn't say, but he seemed to imply that I knew Zelda. I hope I can find a way to remember who she is, but I just don't. It's frustrating. Zelda has been literally fighting Garon for 100 years with her magic. She sounds like such a badass! I can't wait to meet her.

And there's also Impa, who apparently I also know. She lives in a village called Kakariko village. She's not magically ageless like Zelda - she's just real old. The king's ghost told me to go to Impa, and that I'm too weak yet to fight Ganon. I bet I could do it, but I agree it'd be better to train up first, build up some stamina. I still tire easily.

I'm just sitting up here in the bell tower writing this crazy stuff all down so I don't forget it. It sounds totally nuts. But I think it all really happened just like the king said, I remembered flashes of that war as he spoke.

The King's ghost also told me a bunch of history but it's too boring to write down right now. Instead I want to see if I can figure out this paraglider.

Update 11:15am THAT WAS AWESOME. I love my paraglider.

Update 7:00pm I made my way about halfway across the plain. Did another shrine but didn't get any new powers for my slate - just opened some gates, pushed a button, ganked me some more monk souls, done. Gonna make some goat-and-mushroom kabobs - simple but classic, if you do it right - and call it a day.

Duelling Peaks looks to be a half day off or so, it's a low mountain that's been split through like someone chopped it with an axe. A river runs through the split, and it looks passable. The son is setting like the embers of a fire.

I feel so lucky to be alive, and so... loved, really. I can't put my finger on it, but this landscape loves me. I just feel so safe and at home here, though I still haven't seen a soul and everything is in ruins. I think Hylia and maybe Zelda the Magic Battle Princess have my back here, and maybe pretty soon we can all finish what Ganon started 100 years ago.

All I need is a plan. And, maybe, just a few more weeks of training and a few pieces of info. Maybe a curry.

update 3am: I just woke up with the realization that Zelda's last name is probably Bosphoramos. That's rough.

Day 7

Wrote this in a bed in Dueling Peaks stable. It was a pretty easy passage through the Peaks - avoided most trouble by traveling on a high ledge. I blew up a monster camp with a flaming arrow and got a sweet bandanna from a shrine. The usual.

I think I need to stop writing about monster murder. It is getting boring. At first it was the writing that was boring. But I do much more monster killing and shrines than everything else. Maybe I don't need to talk about it unless I do it REALLY good.

There were some high up shrines, near the very top of the Peaks, but I want warmer clothes before I try those.

Is it weird to say "the top of the peaks" because the peak IS the top part of a peak? Writing is so hard. I'm remembering that Zelda would be always writing. What was she writing?

Anyway. At the stable I bought some arrows from a guy called Beedle. He's cool. I had to sell my ruby but I can get more of those by hitting more rocks.

I also sauteed some fresh greens and a wild boar steak. I find I can approximate an open-fire sear technique, with only a cooking pot, by carefully controlling the fire temperature and using a few oak wood chips, chased gently in the fire themselves. Of course you must remove them from the pot at just the right time - it is delicate - but the effect is remarkable if done with a steady hand and watchful eye. This is especially effective with a generous rock-salt rub to prepare the cut. I plated my meal elegantly on borrowed dinnerware from the stable. Delicious, both to the eye and to the palate - and the nose.

A guy said there was gonna be a blood moon soon. He was way too into it. I backed away slowly.

I tamed a horse, who I called "wildberry" as he is pink.

I also found a weird little tree guy called a Korok hiding under a rock. He gave me a "seed" which I think might be poop, but I'm keeping it anyway.

I'm trying to remember, as hard as I can, anything I can. But it is slow going. The only thing that works is to see things, to touch them with my hands - and that, only sometimes.

Did I have a family? I suppose I don't anymore. If I had a young kid, then they might be alive still.

It is good to know that there are still people in Hyrule. But, there sure aren't many, and there sure are a lot of abandoned places. I think that in the destruction 100 years ago, at most 1 person in 20 survived.

Tomorrow I ride for Kakariko.

Day 8

Kakariko village is called that because there are cucco birds everywhere, and that is the sound the roosters make in the morning: "Kakariko! Kakariko!"

Lady Impa was super glad to see me, but I didn't remember her at all. I was pretty devastated actually. She seems to care a lot about me. But she felt it was a blessing that my memory was gone. I wonder what that means. Maybe there are things I should not try to remember but I don't know how to do that.

Lady Impa told me to go talk to a woman named Purah in Hatano village, to get my slate fixed up, and then passed on a message From Princess Zelda herself - she wants me to "free the divine beasts". That reminds me - I forgot to write down some stuff that King Rhoam's ghost said. I didn't write it down before because it was too boring, but now I think maybe it's important.

The Hylian kingdom had a plan for defeating Ganon, which backfired. they were going to use those laser robots, as well as four big robots. Those are the "divine beasts" impa was talking about. These and the shrines and towers and everything were made by an ancient civilization 10000 years ago for the same purpose: killing Ganon. I guess he just shows up every few ten thousand years? So that's the strategy: thump Ganon with robots, and then let two champions seal him away: a princess and a knight.

Those champions also show up when Ganon does apparently. and guess what: I'm the knight! Or so the King's ghost says, anyway.

I guess it worked great 10000 years ago, but 100 years ago Ganon knew about the robots already and took control of them all. So, that's why there are no people around on Hyrule field, and few people in general.

The King said I nearly died, which is why I was out for 100 years, and I guess why I forgot everything. Also he said I had a magnificent magical sword? I think? Someone said that, anyway. Not sure what the deal is there but I really want it back. I could kick so much ass with a magic sword.

Anyway, yeah, Zelda has asked me to "free the divine beasts". I guess Ganon is still controlling them. Hopefully I can free them by hitting things, or cooking. I guess I can go find them and check it out. But it still feels more important to train, to fix my tools, get better equipment, and to try to remember. I think I can do better at being me if I am whole. I think Zelda would want me to do that.

So, I think I'll ride hard for Hateno-seems important to get my slate working properly.

I forgot to mention I talked to this really nice... tree? I think? He was called Hestu. He needed some help getting his maracas back from some monsters. He did a magic dance that expanded my backpack a bit.

That last bit about talking to the tree was crazy. Does anything make sense? Maybe it doesn't need to make sense to be real. I'm a simple soldier.

Day 10

I skipped a day, because it was just travel.

I stopped to train at a couple shrines - a guy called Calip needed help finding one. I think he was trying to be a scholar but mostly he just wanted people to call him "Dr. Calip". Turned out the shrine was hiding underground - I shot a statue with an arrow and then it popped up.

The path to Hateno runs across Blatchery Plain, though old Fort Hateno. It then follows the Squabble River a while. Eventually it parts ways with the river, cuts through the Ginner woods. I'm 'trying* to lean the names, but it's tough. Names and people are the hardest for me.

Hateno is a lovely little town. I kinda want to buy a place there, like as a home base, but it's expensive. A guy called Bolson is gonna cut me a deal on a house but I still need like 3000 bucks and a bunch of wood. It will be nice to have a home. I think having a home might help me remember some normal things.

Purah lives and works on a bluff outside Hateno. She's also over 100 years old but de-aged herself with a science experiment gone wrong. She's now a little kid. She's scary smart and knows too much science. I helped get her lab up and running (furnace went out) and then she fixed the camera on my slate.

Now here's the most exciting thing-my slate had 12 pictures on it, taken by Zelda! Or, that's what we think anyway. I went back to Kakariko the fast way to see Impa and she agrees. She thinks I should go where the pictures were taken. A travelling artist called Pikango told me that one was taken at the East Gate of Lanayru Road, looking at Mount Lanayru. It is just outside Kakariko, I'll check it out tomorrow. Tonight: grilled pumpkin.

A lot of people want my help - and not always for the purest reasons. Actually a lot of people are just straight flirting with me, and I'm not even counting the Great Fairy. I guess that is normal but it is a little weird. Bolson said I was studly, and Lasli, at the Kakariko clothes, store, said I was exactly her type. I think I might be hot.

I heard Zelda's voice again - she warned me of the blood moon. I guess it makes monsters come back to life? Whatever. It is good to hear Zelda's voice.

I keep forgetting to write this down: all my weapons break really easily. I don't understand why - my best guess is that Ganon weakened them all, as part of his attack.

Day 11

I found it-the picture of the east gate was taken about 100 feet down the road from the gate. And it did trigger a memory. I'm hooked.

The Lanayru road was flooded so I travelled on foot through the highlands. I found the spot where the picture was taken and stood there. I felt something stir in my mind, and then a memory flooded back, clear as it was yesterday! It was of Zelda and me! But it wasn't a happy memory- she'd been praying to the Goddess Hylia to activate her magic and it wasn't working. Then she went back to tell some folks this-the 4 champions who drove the divine beasts I guess. And then Ganon awoke. So, what I remembered was the start of a war that we lost. But I'll take it, because it was real.

There was a lot in the memory I don't understand. How can Zelda not have had her magic? It doesn't make sense. But I remember her so clearly - she wasn't an ass-kicking war sorcerer at all. She was a young girl, a couple years younger than me. She was terrified, guilty, weighed down by a horrible burden... you can't fight like that.

I need to track down move memories. I have more questions than answers. I feel more lost than before.

The pictures look like they're from all over Hyrule. I think Zelda and I were travelling together, when we were young.

When I went back to Kakariko, Impa gave me the blue Champion's Tunic I was wearing in my memories. I look good in it.

Also, I met a great fairy called Cotera. She lives in a big flower bud, and really likes cash. And men.

Next I will ride West I think. I want to have some warmer clothes and people say that I can get some at Rito Village. There is a divine beast there - maybe I can free it.

Day 14

It has been a while but little new has happened. I am trying to be present, to smell the air and feel the sun, and when I can take in the care that the land has for me. This place is all alive.

I rode to Outskirt Stable, I guess it is at the outskirts of Hyrule Field, but that place is now empty. At the stable I met Pikango again -the travelling artist. He helped me find another of the pictures-it was a statue of a house, at the ruins of Sanidin Park. The statue is still there.

There, I again remembered Zelda - she was trying to make small talk but it wasn't easy for her. She was dreading a trip to Mount Lanayru, on her 17th birthday, knowing full well that it would not awaken her powers. I don't understand the timeline at all - she must have figured out her magic just in time to fight Ganon.

Maybe I should go to Mount Lanayru, too, to fill in the gap between the memories. But, one thing at a time. First, warmer clothes. I have been hitting lots of rocks and saving up lots of gems to sell.

Oh, and I also forgot to say that I met a bard, named Kass. I met him a couple times. He is a Rito and has an accordion. He sang me a song about the battle against Ganon 10000 years ago. It was pretty but boring. Another time he sung me an ancient ballad about how I have to fire an arrow through two stone hoops. I really liked that one.

Day 18

So, one down! I got a warm outfit at Rito Village, and then freed their divine beast Vah Medoh.

It is pretty easy to free divine beasts actually. The hardest part was getting help.

Vah Medoh was a big stone bird with a laser. It was flying so I needed some help from a Rito warrior, Teba, to get me up into the sky. I had to prove my archery skills. But then I just did my thing - disabled its defences, landed, hit some robots and weird skull things, turned on some pedestals, stuff like that. Now it is pointing its laser at Hyrule Castle.

I think I actually fought a little piece of Ganon? But he kind of sucked at fighting.

Then a ghost showed up, Revali, the Rito champion. I actually remembered talking to him before, when he was alive - but he was kind of boring so I didn't even really pay attention to my own memory? It seemed like he thought he was really cool. Maybe he was cool, I don't know. But he was so boring it was hard to pay attention to what he was saying. He told me how to make wind or something.

But you know what is super exciting to me? The store at Rito Village has both cane sugar and goat butter. I can finally make glazes! I did this with some carrots which I got at the fresh food store in Kakariko Village - oh , how I love glazed carrots. In fact, when you have proper butter you have a much wider array of cooking possibilities - I have just learned a recipe for Salmon Meuniere from an aspiring young gourmand, and I think I'm going to go seek out the ingredients for that before I do literally anything else.

Day 19

Wow I have a lot to think about.

So, first of all, the Salmon Meuniere was amazing. Who'd have thought that dredging the fish fillets in Tabantha Wheat flour before frying would produce such excellent results? Delectable.

Second, I was exploring in Tabantha a little bit, and fought a giant Stone Talus which basically exploded in valuable gems when it died, so I guess I'm gonna go buy a house in Hateno.

Third, I basically tripped over one of the locations where Zelda took a photo - a shrine amongst a bunch of ancient columns; and it brought back a memory of Princess Zelda telling me to fuck off! I guess maybe we weren't on such good terms after all - sounds like her father had assigned me to her as a bodyguard she didn't need. Wild.

Also, if I recall, Zelda was trying to activate one of the shrines - so, it seems like she was a scientist, like Purah. This tracks with my memories of her actually - It's hard, but I'm starting to put together a picture of her. She's definitely a genius, and she put a lot of pressure on herself. That feels like it's more important to know than how pretty she is, or how beautiful her voice is, or whatever. She's a scientist first, battle wizard second, princess third. Or something like that.

I went in the shrine and it was about fighting a real tough little laser robot. It is maybe lucky Zelda couldn't get in, if she did not have her magic yet.

I still don't know how I almost died and she ended up fighting Ganon with magic for a century. That part doesn't track. At all.

Actually I keep thinking of Blatchery Plain, and old Fort Hateno. I've ridden through there a few times now. There just are not any robots past the gates of the fort, though obviously there was a huge battle on the plain. What happened there? How did Fort Hateno stop Ganon's army?

I've said it before - but, I can't shake the feeling that this land is alive, and it loves us. All of us. Ganon is small and petty, and is gonna lose. Hyrule is huge and full of wonder, and wants us to win. That's got to be what ties this whole story together in a way that makes sense. I just wish i could remember.

Day 22

Well, I went straight back to Hateno and sold all my gems - I made like 4500 bucks! So I bought that house and got it all fixed up with some weapon mounts and furniture and stuff. It's sweet. Gave me a place to store my nice bow. Bolson called me studly again.

One of the workers, Hudson, got sent off to Akkala to build a new town for Bolson's construction company. Hudson talks even less than me. I like him. I think I'm gonna go visit there shortly and make sure he made it OK.

Also I hear there's another hundred year old guy out that way - Robbie, another scientist. Beedle gave me one of the ancient arrows that Robbie makes - it makes a thrumming noise when I nock it on my bow. Seems crazy powerful - I'm saving it up in case I come across one of those robots. So I think I'm going to head down that way, and then maybe free one of the other divine beasts.

All the cows in Hateno have these little horn decorations on them. I watched a cow for a while. It ate grass and shat. Cows are happy but boring.

I'm starting to feel almost positive. I've got a plan, I've got a home base, I can do everything needed of me, and I'm starting to get my memories back. Better, I used to think that there's no people left. But the more I look around me, the more I see that there are people. Lots of people.

I still think only about 1 in 20 people survived Ganon's massacre - and there's still basically nobody up on the plateau, or even on most of Hyrule Field. But those who did make it, and their descendents, are thriving, really, even with this constant threat of Ganon looming over them. Running inns, farming, ranching, selling stuff out of their backpack, raising their kids... whatever it is, people are living their lives. They're doing their thing, just like me...

...I feel like I'm on the edge of understanding something, remembering something, big, but I can't quite touch it.

Damn you, weird science bed. Why couldn't you fix my brain better.

Day 23

On my way to Akkala now.

I forgot to mention I ran into Hestu, my nice tree friend, at wetland stable - I stopped there for provisions before heading out. He magiced up my backpack some more and now I can stuff like 9 swords in there. Every now and then I uncover a little tree dude hiding under some rock, and Hestu needs all their turds. I don't understand, but whatever.

Anyway. Hestu said he was going to go see his grandfather in some forest. That's tickling something at the back of my mind. I think I gotta go find Hestu's grandfather too. Trees live a long time, so maybe I know him from before.

Four Zora have stopped me and asked me to go help someone called Prince Sidon out with something or other - just because I'm a Hylian. It's like, my dudes. I get that there aren't a lot of us... but surely there's someone else who can help? I got shit to do!

Well, I guess that answers that question - next divine beast is gonna be the one up in the Zorana Highlands, whatever it is. But damnit, I'm gonna go see Hudson first, go meet Robbie, and see whether Akkala will jog any memories for me.

Day 24

Hard day's ride - found Hudson.

Stopped in at Foothill stable, then South Akkala stable. There is a huge fortress with a tower on it by South Akkala Stable. I know I have been there many times but I don't remember more. It is covered with robots. I'm not going there yet. On the other side is Death Mountain. I forgot to write about Death Mountain before. It is a volcano and is erupting. I think I won't go there for a bit either.

Inside South Akkala stable there was a poster with a recipe for a simple Egg Tart, made with Tabantha Wheat, eggs, goat butter and cane sugar. It is surprising that a tart it can be simply prepared in the cooking pot! The secret lies in the preparation of Tabantha Pastry, which is a hot-water pastry and can stand on its own, while remaining at the same time tender and flaky. I would not have thought a simple egg-and-sugar filling would suffice - I would have augmented with a sweet berry filling, or perhaps something savory, such as a smoked Hylian Bass, pickled wildflower bud capers, and herbs. However it probably was time for me to practice with a simple egg filling - which must be beaten just the right length of time to incorporate air, but not so long that the filling falls when the tart cools. All in all it was a good technical challenge for a baker, which I apparently passed handily! I am awesome.

A woman at the stable called Jana told me that a man of Hudson's description had gone to Lake Akkala, and gave me directions. So I went there.

I think there was a town of many people here, before Ganon came. A vast plain had been cleared, but now there are only ruins, trees, and old rusted robots. A road loops around the plain and crossed a land bridge to an island in the midst of the lake, where Hudson was clearing land. I gave him some spare wood and promised I'd help him find a Goron to help him. He's going to call his town Tarrey Town when it's finished. Hudson seems like a good guy - and it feels right to help put Hyrule back together. And I'm sure I'll come across one.

I don't think I've seen a Goron yet except in my memories, once. But that was enough to remember a bit about how they are. They're like... butch rocks. It's all starting to fill in a little bit.

Beside the bridge was another Great Fairy, called Mija. She too lives in a flower bud and likes cash and men. I got her to help fix up my tunic a bit.

Then I rode on to a third stable, East Akkala stable. I rode past a long beach to the east, as the sun set in the west. It looked out over a spiral of sand, in the ocean. It was beautiful.

Akkala is lonely. It is like... Hyrule is taking back the land, from both us and from Ganon. It's peaceful, but peaceful like a cemetery, so I got lonely. I wish Princess Zelda would talk to me, in my mind. I guess she is busy.

East Akkala Stable also had a recipe poster, for some kind of rice bowl. It uses rice, meat and rock salt. I don't have any rice but I'll try it when I get some.

Day 26

I rose early (I always do), and spoke to a woman named Nobo - she told me that there's a "strange lighthouse" north of the stable, and a magical spring to the west. She didn't tell me about the half-broken-down laser robot guarding the lab! Rude. I rode by it real fast and it missed me.

The "weird lighthouse" was actually Robbie's Lab. After hitting some monsters I helped him start up his equipment too, and he gave me some more arrows. I looked at the arrows and I'm pretty sure Robbie just tied some ancient tech to it. It looked like he could make me some more stuff but it all seemed really expensive and I didn't have the parts.

Robbie is... well, I was going to say a scientist, but I think it's more like engineer maybe. His wife Jerrin is also a scholar; she studies shrines, and she has a kid, Grante (sounds like maybe not Robbie's kid - I didn't ask) but I'm going to keep an eye out.

It feels so strange to be filling my mind with all of these people, their names and interests. I think when I was a soldier that wasn't my job. But now somehow I think it is part of my job.

After I rode my horse Wildberry to the magical spring - it was the Spring of Power, and I suddenly remembered Zelda praying to the statue of the goddess Hylia there, to no avail. She was really frustrated - I remember overhearing her ask Hylia what was wrong with her.

I prayed too, and Hylia did speak to me - she asked me to "Offer Dinraal's scale to the spring". I don't know what that means so I'm writing it down, in case I forget again.

I wonder why Zelda had so much trouble speaking to Hylia. Hylia responds to me whenever I call on her at one of her statues.

I started my trip back to meet up with this Prince Sidon fellow that every Zora wants me to talk to. Made it as far as Foothill Stable. Tomorrow I ride on to Inogo Bridge.

Day 28

Wow, I didn't realize but the view riding back from Foothill Stable is beautiful. After crossing the Akkala Span (a crumbling cobblestone bridge) the path tracks along a high shoulder of land at the base of the Upland Zorana cliffs. It's all sparse alpine forest there - but every now and then the trees clear, and there's a view of Hyrule Field. Hyrule is shaped like a big bowl, and if you're up on the side of the bowl you can see for miles and miles. I could even see Ritoh Village in the distance, now that I know what to look for - the laser beam that Vah Medoh has trained on Hyrule Castle.

I met a Goron! His name was Boldon. He seemed preoccupied, though - I guess he was concerned about decreased tourism. Or something. I didn't really understand.

Right before Inogo Bridge the road was blocked by a rockfall. I'll have to proceed on foot. So, I guess new plan is to ride back to leave Wildberry at a stable - can't very well leave her up in the wilderness with all these monsters around. Not actually sure where the nearest stable is.

Had to ride straight by a shrine in the Lanayru Wetlands that was covered with brambles. Gonna have to burn those off before I can get in - but was raining super hard, an.d lightning was crashing down everywhere. Actually I basically couldn't really see and was totally lost for most of the ride, but it turns out I was basically following some river all the way to Ridgeland Stable.

I fought off a monster who was attacking a woman named Leekah - she says she was just sitting by the river, watching it flow by, when she was attacked. She says that the river brings her peace, so much that it's hard to believe that the great Calamity ever happened.

I decided to take one more day and weather the storm. I ran into the artist Pikango again - he told me where I could find another of the photos on my slate, right in the middle of Hyrule Field. I'd better figure out how to deal with those robots real fast.

The stable had a poster with what looked like a really excellent curry-and-rice recipe. But I don't think I can make it without Goron Spice.

Day 29

Teleported back to the top of Lanayru tower and paraglided down to Inogo Bridge.

Prince Sidon is a formidable warrior and a prince of the Zora. He has a remarkable smile - all teeth. Sidon told me how to get to Zora's domain - there were a lot of monsters in the way but I had a lot of arrows. It was kind of annoying, they kept shocking me and I kept dropping my bow, but I got it done.

I skipped a bunch of the fighting using Revali's wind trick - I just paraglided over top of all the monsters. It's pretty easy to make a big updraft - you just sort of crouch down, make a gradiose gesture, and break wind. Then some magic happens. Not so dignified but pretty handy.

There, I had another memory - it seems that I knew the Zora champion, Princess Mipha - and that she had loved me! I am shocked that I did not remember this. Indeed I still don't really know how I felt about Mipha - I really don't remember from back then is how I was as a person. I don't know how I felt, what I thought, anything like that - just facts, pictures, sounds and stuff. Like that version of Link did die. I'm trying to put back together who he was, but he doesn't give me much to work with - he says even less than I do, for one thing.

So, the problem is that Divine Beast Vah Ruta is going to make a dam burst. The plan is for me to steal some shock arrows from a Lynel. Then, Sidon and I will attack the divine beast with the arrows; that should let me in, and then I turn it off.

Update 4pm: It was easy to get the shock arrows. The lynel just started shooting at me though? It was weird. Usually they leave me alone if I leave them alone.

Update 6pm: It was also easy to turn off the divine beast's defenses. It was fun riding Prince Sidon around in the water. I was wearing armor that Princess Mipha made for me that helps me swim up waterfalls like a Zora, which is awesome.

Do all princesses make armor for other people? I know of 2 princesses who did and 0 who did not.

Anyway it's getting kind of dark - I'm going back to Zora's Domain for a nap, and I'll turn off the divine beast tomorrow.

Day 30

I slept in the inn - they had a water bed. It was fun.

A lot of the zora remember me! The innkeeper, Kayden, for one - and his wife, Kodah. Apparently Kodah also loved me, back in the day. This is because I am hot.

It seems like a lot of Zora actually blame me for the death of Mipha, blame King Rhoam and Princess Zelda for the calamity, because they were messing around with ancient tech instead of doing... i don't know, something else. Many seem to think that Hylians can't be trusted for this reason. This bothers me because it is not right. It doesn't square with what I remember.

When I was talking to the King's ghost, he helped me remember the moment of the Calamity - that is when the 5 big pillars around Hyrule Castle rose out of the ground and dispensed robots. That's where most of the robots came from I think, and we didn't even know those pillars were there - Ganon did that. We were going to get robotted by Ganon no matter what we did.

No, I get the feeling they decided Hylians were bad first, and then looked for reasons why after. Do I do that? Would I know if I did? I wonder.

Anyway, people who don't like me are boring people that only say boring things, so I pay them no mind. Maybe they'll come around when I save their ass.

Update 3pm: Ass saved. Link wins again! It seems like it is way too easy to mess with these divine beasts. No wonder Ganon took them over.

I think I fought another piece of Ganon. The fight was boring. I kept getting distracted by thoughts of roasted gourmet meat. Mmmm. Soo tasty.

I met the ghost of Mipha - she showed me how to heal myself, and said it was nice to see me again. She looked at me with great tenderness. It was strange since I didn't have feelings for her at all - maybe I used to, who knows? I have lots of feelings now, but not feelings of love for Mipha. Feels cold to say so, but saying otherwise would be lying. I figured this wasn't the time to bring it up though - hopefully it was OK just to not say anything. I find that usually works.

Mipha has taken the divine beast up above the Lanayru Great Spring and pointed its laser at Ganon in Hyrule Castle too.

King Dorephan gave me Mipha's trident, in thanks for saving everything. I teleported back to my house and hung it up right away.

Sidon sang me a little song in thanks. It was cute. I like Sidon.

The king's advisor, Muzu, also thanked me. I forgot to mention Muzu before because he didn't like me, which is boring, and I forget boring people. He's cool now though.

Maybe my entire life 100 years ago was boring, and that's why I forgot it all? I kind of doubt it.

I don't know what to do now. I think I'll climb some towers and do some shrines and stuff. But I'm definitely going to make and eat an amazing roast before I do anything else.

Day 73

I have been practicing smashing robots for a while now. It's getting to be super easy! Weirdly the ones with the legs are kind of easiest to smash. The broken down ones you have to kind of sneak up on. But the ones with the legs just walk up to you like "here I am, ready for smashing!" Like, they have this infinite range death laser, and they use it in the absolute dumbest possible way: walk up to the target and stand around painting it with the targeting beam for like 5 seconds.

It is good to practice robot smashing because I nearly died of robots. If you're facing two robots at once, it does get tricky. I think that's how I fell in battle: by facing many robots at once. Also, by trying to protect the princess as well as just trying to smash robots. It is best to do one thing at a time.

I have now probably smashed like 20 robots, and I've also smashed like 15 of those gem-exploding rock monsters. I took a bunch of the money and robot parts up to Robbie, the Shekiah robot engineer in Akkala, and bought a bunch of stuff. I now have special robot-smashing armor, a bow that fires ridiculously straight and far (so, if they can hit me, I can hit them), and a shield that will actually reflect the robot lasers back at 'em.

The robot smashing armor looks really stupid and is not very comfortable (there is a hat that makes me look like a mushroom). But it actually powers up the weapons that you find in the robot-smashing practice shrines. The armor didn't use to do this, but I got the Great Fairy Cotera to fix it up a bit. I'm really not sure why fixing up armor has to involve so much smooching. Honestly. Anyway. If you go to the shrines that have the toughest practice robots, their gear is actually really good now. So, every time Ganon paints the moon red and replaces all the monsters, I have this checklist I do:

• smash the monsters that explode in a bunch of gems
• smash the little robots in the practice shrines to get more swords and axes
• smash a bunch of big robots in Hyrule Field and the remains of the castle town
• Replace whatever bits of my gear broke at Robbie's robot tech lab,
• Sell all the stuff I don't need and go to the grocery store! Tabantha Wheat, Goat Butter, Hylian Rice, eggs, and stuff.

So, that's my solution to how to get more Tabantha wheat: just get more cash.

Day 75

One of the good robot smashing shrines is off Lurelin Village so I like to stop in there. There's a fishing family there: Sebasto and Kiana, and their kids Kinov and Zuta, that I helped out with a monster infestation issue. Kiana is an amazing cook and she makes the best Seafood Paella that I've ever had; I've been training with her and now my seafood paella is getting there too. The delicate part is that all of the ingredients want different types of cooking - the seafood wants a quick sear, the rice needs a long soak in the broth, the goat butter needs to brown but not burn, and so on. The art is keeping all of this together in your mind, giving each of the ingredients what it needs to cook to perfection, while also melding with the other ingredients. Cooking is a delicate and sublime dance, between the chef and the meal.

Also I won a dollar gambling! And it only cost me like 20 dollars.

I actually want to try fusion cuisine a little bit, because I think that if I used fresh-caught hearty salmon from up in Tabantha, it'd go really well with the hearty blueshell snail from Lurelin. I told this to Kiana and she was super skeptical, she's pretty sure that you need to use Lurelin Porgy, but I think maybe that's because Sebasto and the kids spend their whole life catching Lurelin Porgy.

Sebasto and Kiana are a really sweet couple actually. Sometimes when you hang out with a couple, as a single dude, you feel kind of lonely - but with them, I feel at home more than anything else.

Loneliness is a funny thing, actually, because I don't feel it. I'm alone, sure, but I'm alone in Hyrule, right? It would be super not difficult for me to hook up with any of like 15 people in various places in Hyrule, on account of how hot I am. But I really feel like I don't want to. Like, what problem that I have would that solve? I don't understand it, but I really feel loved here in Hyrule, even to the point where I'm not even sure I feel like a single dude. It's even a bigger feeling than the bad vibes that Ganon puts out. The land is there for me. If I need to eat, there's a berry, or a mushroom, or I can hunt. If I need to be happy, there's a forest, or a sunset, fireflies over the river, a rainbow. If I need to talk, there's people - not many, but enough.

It's a little weird honestly, I wish I could remember why I am like this. I really like people, I'm no hermit... but Hyrule is almost like a partner, to me. It just seems to be how I am built.

At least I have a lot of little things that don't make sense, rather than just having no idea what's going on. I am starting to remember. That's badass.

I wonder if Princess Zelda remembers her old life, or if she also forgets things. Old people forget things. But I guess she can't be old like old and frail because she is still fighting! I actually see her magic sometimes, a bright light that subdues Ganon a bit. To fight for 100 years, she must be using some kind of powerful magic to stay young. Does she sleep? Does she get tired? Does it mess with her mind like the Science Bed messed with my mind?

I met that guy Spinch in Lurelin, the guy who also called his horse Spinch. That's an awesome horse name. I should have called my horse Link instead of Wildberry. It would have been an even better name because Wildberry is pink, and "Link" rhymes with "Pink." Oh well.

Day 78

This time I rode back from visiting Robbie - I bought Ancient Arrows - through South Akkala stable, so I could see the view again. A woman who works there, Jana, wanted some dragonflies as a birthday present for her little sister Gleema, who thinks dragonflies are cool. I actually had some on hand - they're easy to catch ever since I bought that super-quiet ninja outfit from Lasli and Claree in Kakariko (Lasli thinks I'm hot). It was super funny because Jana is super grossed out by dragonflies, so I wound up just giving them to her, like a courier.

I actually rode back to Kakariko village and overnighted there. I helped people out with some stuff. I think it is important to help out. It's like... a way to give back to Hyrule, right? Since Hyrule does so much to care for me. One of the guards at Lady Impa's house, Dorian, has two kids, Koko and Cottla - I guess his wife died a while back, and Koko has stepped up to help with the cooking and caring for little Cottla. So I helped Koko out with getting some cooking ingredients, and I played with Cottla a bit. She's a good kid. I think she likes me because she shared me some of her favorite treat - "crunchy crunchables," she called it. It was totally rock salt.

Actually salt is a tasty snack. I should eat more salt.

I also helped this guy Cado catch his escaped flock of Cuccos. Cado is the other guard at Lady Impa's house; he's married to the fletcher, Rola. I buy fire arrows off her sometimes. Cado and Rola aren't together any more really. It's kinda sad. I tried to talk to Cado about it a bit but he didn't really listen. Anyway, Rola definitely thinks I'm hot. Also Paya (Lady Impa's daughter) thinks I'm so hot that she can't speak in full sentences, and drops things.

Lasli was saying that her evenings are taken with caring for her mother, and that she missed watching the sunset fireflies. So I took the hint and released a bunch of fireflies in her house. I am still not sure that was a good idea but she seemed appreciative. In fact she gave me like 50 bucks. I don't understand women. Also, Lasli's mom remembered me actually, from before the calamity. That felt nice. It's like, at least someone remembers.

Day 79

Wow, well, I know a little more about the assassins that tried to kill the princess now.

They're called the Yiga Clan. Actually that's sort of familiar now that I think of it, a couple guys said they were Yiga and tried to jump me a while back, too. They were so bad at it that I forgot to write it down in my journal. They're also Sheikah, but are followers of Ganon. They wear masks with an upside down Sheikah symbol, and try and do Ganon's bidding.

I found out about it because they stole a Sheikah artifact that Paya and Lady Impa were looking after... Paya was distraught. I stayed with her all day, to help her calm down. It was a fun time actually. Paya was so afraid that the thief was still around that she forgot to be nervous and awkward around me, even though I am so hot. Paya is pretty cool. I think she'll make a good chief of the Sheikah someday, if Lady Impa ever retires.

It took a little night-time investigating, but in the end, I did figure out what happened. It's kinda a sad story. Dorian, the guard at Lady Impa's house, had actually defected from the Yiga clan, but they don't take kindly to defectors. It was the Yiga clan which killed Dorian's wife - Koko and Cottla's mom - in retribution, and they were threatening Dorian's kids, too. Dorian told the Yiga about me, in exchange for keeping his kids safe. I don't know if I would have done the same in his place or not - I mean, I feel like he made some mistakes I would never have made, like joining the Yiga in the first place? Anyway.

I found all this by following Dorian out to a secluded place in the woods, where Dorian was confronting a Yiga soldier. I defeated the soldier - gosh I love my magical ass-kicking sword - and then promised Dorian that I'd keep his secret, that he'd been a traitor to the Sheikah. In the end there was no harm done, and I agreed. Seemed the best way forward.

The Sheikah artifact turned out to be the key to reveal a hidden shrine, so that was neat.

Time for bed. What a long day!

Day 81

I have been in Lanayru. I have been trying to find the dragon Naydra - the great fairies need some of her horn, to work on my tunic. One night, I found Naydra flying down the fjords at the foot of the montain, in the East. As always, it was a scene of unearthly beauty - the moon was high and full, and the wind cold. But the next night, she didn't return. Instead, I collected Hearty Blueshell Snails, all up and down the coast. Paella time!

After, I came across the bard Kass, in the fjords. He was singing an ancient song, whose meaning was long lost to time. The song went "Link, blow up the rocks with your bombs to make it windy, and then fly to the pedestal on your paraglider." It was a bop. When I did that, a shrine appeared. Kass was super grateful for the help interpreting the song.

Tonight, I wait on the mountain, at the spring of wisdom, to see if Naydra appears. There is not much to do except to wait, and think. I keep thinking of Zelda, praying and praying, to no avail. She was doing everything right. Why did the goddess Hylia spurn her? Zelda was even related to Hylia, wasn't she? Lady Impa said she had the blood of the goddess, as do all the princesses and queens of Hyrule. I don't understand.

Maybe she was just doing it wrong? Maybe she wasn't supposed to be praying to Hylia... I wonder who told her she needed to do that?

Ah, the dragon Naydra. I must fly.

Day 83

On the way to more robot smashing, I found the place of another of Zelda's photos, near the shores of Lake Hylia. And like the rest of them, it triggered a memory in me, of the princess. We were waiting out a storm, and I was practicing sword moves. The princess was saying how admirable it was, my dedication to my training? So I guess that settles it, we got off on the wrong foot a bit, and then got it sorted out later. And, I mean, my dedication to my training is pretty sick, she has a point.

But then, she almost confided it me a bit - she was telling me, in her way, that there was a crazy amount of pressure on her from her family and I guess everyone around her. I mean she didn't really say that exactly, but it was what she was saying, you know? Like, reading between the lines. What she actually said to me was, would I still have chosen to be a knight, if literally everyone around me had always told me that I was gonna be a knight, like there was no other choice? I didn't say anything in the moment, but I thought a lot about what she said.

I might not have, you know. I think I might have said, no, fuck you, I'm gonna be a chef. Just like how Zelda became a scientist. Or, I'd like to imagine I could have said that, that I could have been as strong as my princess.

THE princess. THE princess, not my. Wow. good thing this is a journal and nobody is reading it, and also that everyone who cares is dead for a century. A soldier can get in trouble for being presumptuous like that. Weird how it's ok to say "My King", but "my princess" is kinda dodgy though.

I guess I don't know a lot about Zelda's family. I met the ghost of the king, and he didn't seem like he'd be like a high pressure kind of guy? But then, I guess I met him after he'd died a broken man when Ganon destroyed his nation. The dude might not have been so chill in life.

And I don't know anything about Zelda's mother. Or really anything about Zelda's life in the castle - except that she seemed to be saying it was bad, and that she really only thrived out in the wild.

I think tonight I'm going to try to make a banana pie! I'm starting to get a few bananas - every now and again a Yiga drops some - and I think I can adapt my apple pie recipe to make a pretty good banana pie. We'll see if it works. And tomorrow, I'll go find that spot in central hyrule field where the first photo on the slate was taken. I'm starting to think the photos are in time order, so the first photo is the earliest.

update 8:00pm: It did not. Turns out bananas kinda mush up weird in a way apples don't. It did make fried bananas, though. That's cool.

Day 84

Wow, that was wild. I did find where that Hyrule Field photo was taken - had to smash a couple robots in order to get to it. It was like an altar, in the midst of the field. It'd been pretty smashed up by robots but was still recognizable. I guess it was a ceremony where Zelda and the 4 champions like formally recognized me as the hero. It was boring, but I guess I didn't really get much say in the matter.

But, the wild part was that the champions were kinda gossiping while the ceremony ran, thinking I couldn't hear. The gerudo champion, Lady Urbosa, was saying that the Princess saw me as a reminder of all her own failures. What the crap does that even mean? Just because I'm awesome doesn't mean other people are less awesome! Especially the princess... Why would she think that?

it seems crazy, but it's almost like someone had been making the princess feel bad about her lack of powers. Like, it went beyond pressure, into actual abuse. Someone hurt her, when she was just a kid, with their words. I'm gonna find out who that was and we are going to have A Discussion, let me tell you, and the discussion will be made of STABS.

Who could even do that to a literal princess? It seems nuts to me, but it could only be the King. Or I guess the queen maybe. Or maybe the princess herself, a bit. She seems like she could be pretty hard on herself. I hope I don't have to stab the queen.

Day 85

I can't shake the idea of people being unkind to the Princess. I have to find out more. I don't know why this upsets me so much... I wish I could remember more. But I remember enough now to know that I'm 100% on Team Princess Zelda. I think she must be just the coolest person and I can't stand that anyone was unkind to her. Did they know she was gonna fight for Hyrule for 100 years?

Gah, my mind keeps going around and around about it. I can't think straight. I wish I could talk to Princess Zelda... I'm going rage-hiking in the Hebra mountains.

Update, 7pm: So, I ran into the coolest woman, Selmie. She lives in Hebra and spends her days shield-surfing down the slopes - she's going to show me how to shield surf. It's sick! You basically jump on your shield and try to go down the hill as fast as you can. I can do pretty good but I'm gonna learn to do awesome. And there's lots of tricks you can do, too. Already on my first ride I did a frontside 360. That's what it's called when your style is totally sick. It really took my mind off things a bit. I don't like it when I can't stop thinking.

I think I gotta go deal with the divine beast in the Gerudo desert - I mean, I gotta do that eventually, but I'm guessing I'll get to speak to the ghost of Lady Urbosa while I'm there. That'll maybe help sort some things out.

Day 86

I had to dress as a Gerudo woman to get into Gerudo town - there are almost no Gerudo men, and so men aren't allowed into Gerudo town at all. I don't know what the actual rules are, about who's allowed and who's not, except no men. There was a Goron hanging around in there, for instance - but I am not sure words like "man" and "woman" apply to gorons really. Like I said, they're basically butch rocks.

Gerudo Town is's a pretty cool place actually. You can buy all sorts of crazy stuff, like meat. I helped a jeweler, Isha, set up her jewelry shop, and she made me a circlet which protects me against the heat in thanks. There was some fruit there I hadn't tried before called Hearty Durian. It smells real bad, though, so I don't think I'm gonna try it.

I went to talk to Riju, the chief of the Gerudo, and her bodyguard Buliara. Riju's actually younger than me, I think, just a kid really - I think she came into her title young. I guess that the Gerudo have been having problems with the Yiga clan, too? Riju asked me to help recover a magical lightning-protecting helmet, a Gerudo heirloom, that the Yiga stole from them. Sweet. I get to infiltrate the Yiga hideout. I'm gonna do it right away.

Update 8pm - haha, that was funny. The yiga may be evil and good at attacking people who can't fight back, but they suuuuuck at guarding things. I snuck right into their super secret hideout and stole all their bananas AND got Riju's Thunder Helm back from them.

I fought this one Yiga called Master Kohga, the boss of the Yiga - he kept trying to defeat me by throwing giant spiked balls at me, but just couldn't get it through his head that I am awesome. What a bad ninja! I beat him up for like 5 minutes and then one of his own giant spiked balls knocked him down a bottomless hole. Or, actually it probably had a bottom because the spiked ball made a loud crashing noise.

Master Kohga was actually kind of funny. I feel like maybe we might have been able to hang out if he'd made some different choices in life. What a turd.

Weirdly, I just heard the ball hit - not Kohga. But he could do some ninja teleporting tricks and stuff - maybe he found a way to save himself. He's still stuck in a ten hundred foot deep hole, though! What a loser. Serves him right.

Now I'm gonna head back to Gerudo Town and give Riju her hat back.

Day 87

When I gave Riju back her thunder helm, it actually triggered a memory for me - it was a memory of the Princess, with the Gerudo champion Lady Urbosa. I guess Zelda and Urbosa were pretty close, because they were both royalty? But, it seemed like more than that - Urbosa almost seemed like Princess Zelda's cool auntie, or something. Anyway, the Princess had fallen asleep on Urbosa's shoulder, after a long day of scientific surveys in the desert. Urbosa called Zelda "little bird", it was sweet. I mean, sweet like cute, not sweet like my hairstyle.

In the memory, they were both sitting on the deck of the Divine Beast. And she also told me that Zelda's early frustration with me was basically what I'd inferred from before - I was just one more reminder of her failure to awaken her power. I'm finally starting to get a sense of how much of a failure this was - I guess Zelda had been praying daily to Hylia her whole life, including some pretty intense stuff. She once passed out from the cold, praying in the water at one of the springs.

Urbosa told me it was a great honor to protect Princess Zelda with my life. She was right! That's exactly how I feel about it. Although, I guess Princess Zelda doesn't really need my protection, since she's busy kicking Ganon's ass in Hyrule Castle? But still, would I die for Princess Zelda? Absolutely, 100%. Without question. And Lady Urbosa knew it, I think.

Anyway - after that, it was like 9am, so Riju and I set out to board the Divine Beast right away. The beast is called Vah Naboris, and is a big-ass camel robot. Chief Riju protected me from the divine beast's lightning attacks while I attacked the feet of the divine beast, which made it kneel down and let me on.

Riju and I used sand seals, which is sick - the sand seal is a seal which swims through the sand, which is why it is called a sand seal. You attach a rope to the seal and shield surf behind it, but on the flat desert. It's super fun. You can still do all your tricks and stuff, especially if the seal pulls you over a bump in the sand. One time, I did a Indy Grab into a Nose Roll, and then blew up one of Vah Naboris' feet with a bomb arrow, and THEN I did a backside 540. It was ill. Then I nearly got hit with a lightning bolt cause I got too far from Riju. Still, my stylings were pretty epic.

The divine beast was boring. But I did indeed get to talk to Lady Urbosa's ghost a bit. She was a total badass. I kind of can't believe that she was killed by that Ganon thingy on the divine beast 100 years ago - I absolutely handed it its ass when it tried to fight me. But maybe it surprised her - snuck up on her, or something. Or maybe she didn't have lightning protection on her? I dunno. Ganon seems super dishonorable so it was probably some dirty trick.

Lady Urbosa's ghost showed me how to call lightning down on a bad guy. You just snap your fingers, stare them down, and say "eat this, bitch" in your mind.

When I got back to town, Riju gave me Lady Urbosa's sword and shield - the Scimitar of the Seven, and the Dawnbreaker - in thanks, and said I'd be welcome back in Gerudo town when all this was over. I think Riju likes me. Actulaly even her bodyguard Buliara spoke nearly warmly to me. Buliara has like three times my body mass in sheer muscle. She's awesome.

I gotta go hang up Lady Urbosa's weapons in my house. After that, there was a blood moon, so it's robot smashing time. After that, I dunno - maybe I'll come back to Gerudo Town and try and learn some local recipes from some local chefs, ideally without blowing my cover.

Day 88

OK here's the plan. Riju says I can borrow the thunder helm if I help out around Gerudo town. And, honestly, that tracks with the way I'm thinking about my job, the way I understand it now. Ganon is some big weird monster that Princess Zelda is fighting in the castle, but he is also a force of evil all across Hyrule, making everything worse. The Princess basically has Ganon under control in the castle, so my job is also to get him under control everywhere else.

So, to help out around Gerudo Town I basically need to get some better desert gear. That starts with better boots. I know this guy Bozai, who thinks I'm hot, will give me his sand boots if I can get a picture of "the eighth heroine". I don't know what that means but it's somewhere in the Gerudo Highlands. I don't even have a map of that. So: first stop is to get a map, which means climbing Gerudo Tower.

Update, 4pm: Well, I found Gerudo Tower pretty quick, on account of it being a massive tower. Weirdly, it extends waaaaaay down into the ground - there's some real deep holes around here! I wonder what's down there. So, I flew across to it on my paraglider.

The bard Kass was up there, sitting on top of the tower. He's a Rito, so it's easy for him to just fly up there and hang out. Kass sang me an old song, with cryptic words, whose meaning has been long since lost to time. The song went "Link, stand on that pedestal over there and fire an arrow directly at the sun at 3pm". I frickin loved that song. Also, when I did that, a shrine appeared! More training for me.

Kass also mentioned that he's practicing a song his teacher wrote 100 years ago, about the Hero of Hyrule? So, me??? I'm in a song! Kass is not ready to play me that song yet, he has to train. I don't know how you train music - I guess there's music shrines.

Day 89

This morning I found a cave full of weapons, shields and cash and stuff! You can fly to it from the top of Gerudo Tower. It's blocked by a bunch of boulders, but one of them at the back is metal, so I can move it magnetically and clear out the others to get in.

Some stuff is just sitting around in the cave, in fact, not in a chest or anything - and I've noticed that Ganon re-makes that stuff during a blood moon. And it's good stuff - there's a good spear, a good bow, a good sword, and the BEST shield for shield surfing - the radiant shield! I think the main reason that my shield-surfing coach Selmie was willing to take me on as a student is that I showed up with one of those on my back. So, I can have as much of that stuff as I want.

Actually I think my weapon issues are basically sorted. Ganon has definitely corrupted all the weapons so that they break quickly. But, now I have this Gerudo weapons cache, my magic sword, the giant Royal Claymore stabbed into the giant monster skull atop Woodland Tower, the great flameblade buried in the old tree stump in Hyrule field, and all the robot swords in the robot-smashing-practice shrines. And there's sledgehammers literally everywhere for some reason. I don't really know why there are so many sledgehammers in Hyrule, but if you need 'em, we got 'em.

Day 90

So, I was tromping around in the Gerudo Highlands, hitting lizard monsters with a club, when I realized that my plan sucks.

I mean, yeah, Zelda does have things under control in Hyrule Castle, but at some point I'm gonna have to go in there. When will that be exactly?

I mean, the second I'm ready, I'm going in there. But I don't think I'm ready yet - I've got like half my strength back, but I think Ganon will be a worthy opponent. Anyway, if I'm ready, we win, because I'm pretty sure me and the princess are unstoppable.

But, what if everything goes pear-shaped and Zelda needs me to drop everything and come to the castle right away? She can call to me, in my mind - what if she says "...link...Link...Link, it is now time for you to hand Ganon his ass in a jar"? Except, like, eloquently? What do I do then?

I can only travel quickly to shrines I've been to. There's a shrine pretty close to the castle, basically just on the wall of castle town, but I'd have to fight my way through the front door, smashing probably 20 or 30 robots just to get to her. That's too slow.

Instead, I have to explore around the castle, find the literally closest shrine I can find, and actually practice sneaking all the way in.

Day 91

I wanted to go find my tree buddy Hestu to get some more inventory space. Hestu hangs out beside the Great Deku Tree, where I found my magical sword. When I went back there, the Great Deku Tree said something like "Ah, I see you have answered the call" and then started talking about some weird magic sword ritual.

So, apparently I got "a call" a while back and totally forgot! There was totally some mysterious voice which told me that it was time to "strengthen my connection to the sword that seals the darkness" or some crap. The voice was so boring that I forgot all about it immediately.

But, I didn't remember that until too late. When the Great Deku Tree was all "Ha, Ha, I can see you crave the challenge, young hero" or whatever, I had my backpack in my left hand, and a whole stack of korok turds in my right hand, and I was just about to hand it all to Hestu so he could do his thing.

I was like, well, crap. I certainly couldn't be all "nah, I'm not up for the challenge, actually I'm just here to get my bag fixed" or whatever. That's not me.

So, I put everything away, and put my magic sword back in the pedestal. No idea what it was going to do. Turns out it teleported me to some weird monster-killing practice room, without all my stuff, wearing only my underpants. I had to kill a bunch of monsters. It was super boring. Eventually it teleported me back to the woods.

After that, my sword worked a little better, in a totally unhelpful way.

See, when there's great danger, like if there's a robot that needs smashing or some other thing Ganon directly controls, my sword kind of makes this "Schpang!" noise, starts glowing, and gets sharper. The rest of the time, it's like a normal blue sword. The ritual made my sword slightly sharper in those non-dangerous situations. Why would anyone want that?

Anyway, it seemed like there was an option to do it all again, with harder monsters, to make my sword even more better in the same totally unhelpful way. Instead, I just got Hestu to magic up my bag - I can now get another sword in there - and left.

So, to sum up, I don't know what just happened or why - I seldom do - but it was boring, so I left. I actually went home and baked an apple pie. It was so good.

But, that pretty much killed my whole day, so it's naptime. Ah, well. Next I'm gonna explore around Hyrule Castle and see if I can figure out a way to, like, sneak in the back door. Do castles even have back doors? I wonder. My own house doesn't even have one, so maybe not.

Day 94

I've spent a couple days riding around the back side of Hyrule castle with Wildberry, scoping things out and talking to folks, and I've got a plan.

The big breakthrough was talking to this guy Molo at Riverside Stable. Molo was kind of talking himself into going to Hyrule Castle as a treasure hunter. I can't say I approve - I mean, all that stuff is surely Zelda's, right? In some sense? But, I don't think he's ever gonna actually do it. That kinda guy is going to sit at the stable forever and keep talking about it, instead.

However, Molo heard a rumor that there's a cave under the castle that opens out onto the moat, with a dock in it. And there's a shrine near the dock. All I have to do is get some kind of boat in there. And in fact I found a boat - there's a raft tied up by the ruins of the Castle Town Prison, basically due west of the castle. It's one of those rafts with a sail - you can move them around, by making wind with the magic of a Korok leaf.

So, that's the plan. Get a boat in the moat, Get to the docks, unlock the shrine, and figure the rest out later. I set out tomorrow, at dawn.

Heh. Boat moat. Boat moat boat moat boat moat. It's like a tongue twister but easy.

Day 95

Well, I followed the plans, and now I'm huddled in Zelda's room in the castle! Like, her childhood bedroom. Also I am so angry that I can barely write.

So, it was a lot of waving a Korok leaf around to make magical wind, but I did sail my raft right up to the docks, exactly as planned. There was a bunch of monsters - I killed a couple and snuck past the rest.

At the top of the docks, there was a big brazier (like a fireplace but in a pot) surrounded by a ring of torches - for some reason, I felt that the thing to do was to light the brazier. I am sure glad that was right thing to do, because if it wasn't I would have just alerted every monster to my presence for no reason! Instead, a shrine burst forth out of the ground, and I can fast travel to it.

It's not ideally placed - it is a long path through the castle. The castle is absolutely trashed, and is packed with dangerous monsters, so I really had to fight my way up to the top. And the whole place just stinks of Ganon's malice. There aren't any robots inside, but there are SO many robots outside - and some of the passages were blocked, so outside was definitely a part of things. A lot of the time I was being targeted by one or two lasers, so I just started ignoring them. But all the monsters had pretty good swords and stuff, which I now have. I didn't really explore - lots of time for that later. I was really just seeing how long it takes me to get close to Ganon - and the answer was "too long". Ganon is right at the top of the castle, in the sanctum. Every now and then, I see Zelda's magic coming from there. I'll have to think about what to do about that.

It was hard, I really really wanted to go see Zelda, but I thought it through really carefully and decided it was too risky. It broke my heart a bit.

Instead, what I found was Zelda's study (in a disused tower), and Zelda's bedroom (a ruined room in the castle). Between the two was a bridge, the location where one of the photos was taken. The memory it inspired in me was brutal, and I wish I could forget it, but what I learned was really really important so I can't. It was King Rhoam, basically yelling at Zelda for not having devoted more of her life to activating her powers - he forbade her from doing any more of her science. It was awful. The whole time, I was kneeling with my head bowed, not taking part of the conversation.

I was ashamed. I wish I'd stood up for Zelda. I should have smacked that old man. It's not like the King was going to throw me in jail at that point!

I guess I had the disadvantage of being a Knight of Hyrule - it would have be oath breaking AND treason to object, and would have cost me dearly. But it's so clear to me that the King was wrong. Science was what Zelda loved the most! And the words he used were just terrible. He said "the gossip mongers" were whispering that "zelda is heir to a throne of failure".

I no longer respect the king. I know what he was trying to achieve, and don't care. I don't care that he was my monarch, don't care about the vows I took to serve him. Don't care that his ghost helped me understand my role in the world. Don't care, don't care, don't care. Fuck you, Rhoam. I am so angry.

I mean come the fuck ON. Zelda is a fricking genius and an ancient tech expert. If King Fucking Rhoam had let her keep working for another week, maybe she would have figured out how to Ganon-proof all our robots. But no, dude just decided it was more important to crush his daughters spirit. Again and again. God I hate that motherfucker.

Deep breaths, Link. Deep breaths.

I'm exhausted. I'm going to teleport back to Riverside Stable, get some rest, and then... do something else for a bit. Anything. I have more to write but I will write it later.

Day 96

I have slept, in a nice bed, but I still feel just wrecked. And I have more to write before I forget it.

That castle is not a good place. Evil is just oozing from every crack. It made me feel sick. I don't know how Zelda has kept her mind, and her will to fight. And I sure didn't help. The great Deku tree said that her heart cascades with faith that I would return - and return I did, but then I left. Zelda, I am so, so sorry. I wish I could talk to you - I couldn't stay. I hadn't finished recovering my strength, or understanding what happened, or retaking the divine beasts. I couldn't. I'm sorry.

So in Zelda's study was all of her plant research, including one of her research journals. The plants had all overgrown their pots and spread all around the room. I wanted to tidy it up but didn't know how. Or, like, why. Then I felt silly.

It looked like the research journals were divided up by subject - it seems like every time she filled up a scientific logbook, she would cut the bindings, sort them by subject, and rebind them. The one which was out on the desk was her research on the ancient technology. It was super interesting! So, for one thing, Zelda has absolutely lovely handwriting. She learned to do it properly! Mine is like cucoo scratches.

It seems like Zelda was there for all of the ancient tech science that we did, and she played a huge role in figuring out how everything worked. She left detailed notes about the sheikah slate, the shrines (and how they seemed to be designed with the sole purpose of training me), the guardians and the big pillars that dispense them, the divine beasts, basically everything except the big towers. Even the science bed they left me in - she said it had a "long term stasis function" for healing, which I guess is what kept me out for 100 years. It was all super interesting stuff, the parts I could understand.

...actually, I admit, I couldn't understand most of it. That's pretty much all I got out of the whole logbook. Maybe if I studied it really hard I could get it a bit. No, I mostly just stared at Zelda's beautiful handwriting, tracing it with my finger sometimes, trying to remember Zelda writing it. Actually it brought back a lot of memories, because she was always writing. Nothing singular - just, now I can picture it. Every evening, writing down what she did that day.

After, I went back across the bridge and found myself in Zelda's bedroom. I don't think I'd been in there before actually - I'd seen it but always from the outside, because I was guarding her as she slept, and you don't just go into a princess's bedroom. It too was trashed, and a big monster was living in it (which I killed pretty easily).

Zelda's room was also full of books, unsurprisingly, and a whole bunch more research notes were tacked to the wall and covering her desk.

Also on the desk was Zelda's diary. I think I stood in front of that diary for like half an hour, reaching out to opening it, then pulling my hand back. I couldn't do it.

I am sure that diary contains the answers to all my questions. I'm like ten hundred percent positive. But, a diary is private. I'm not going to read the princess's diary. You don't DO that. I'm just going to have to recover my memories some other way. I guess I know it's there, if there is no other way. I left it on the desk untouched. It'd been there for 100 years, so a little longer would be fine.

Well, back to training. I think I really need to feel like I'm taking concrete steps to join Zelda in battle, as soon as I can. And I think that starts with reclaiming that fourth divine beast, up on Death Mountain.

Day 97

I'm finally starting to calm down. I'm reading back over those last diary entries and it's all so... negative. I'm not a negative guy! That's weird. Was it the castle? Was it getting so close to my... to Zelda, and then having to leave?

Was it something else? Did my courage falter? I don't think I left the castle because I was scared, but I'd be hard pressed to say that wasn't part of it. I knew I wasn't ready. That doesn't feel good. Being ready is my whole thing.

But also, I haven't thought about cooking for what seems like ages. It's like... that damn castle sucked all the joy out of me.

It's better out here in the wild, so much better. Gosh I wish I could bring Zelda out of the castle sometimes, out of that terrible place. Just... just for a little time.

I figured I'd find one of the two remaining photo locations on my way up Death Mountain - I've spent enough time riding back and forth along the north side of Hyrule moat these past days to know exactly what I was looking at. It was still a little annoying to find - but fortunately I've got some pretty sweet climbing gear that makes it a lot easier to get it up and down the mountain slopes.

The memory was of me after kiling about 50 monsters. The princess I think was a little put out with me that I'd been reckless - but I think she was also kinda a little impressed at how badass I was, haha. Those were some big monsters! Some were even a little bigger than I've attempted to tackle yet - there were a couple Lynels, for instance, these giant angry horse lion things. In fact in the memory I had cut my arm a little bit, which is not how I normally roll.

The princess was saying that the increasing strength of the monsters was a sign that Ganon's return was imminent. That's tickling the back of my mind a bit... I've recently seen a few silver-colored monsters around. I don't remember seeing those before. Maybe we don't have all the time in the world, after all.

Okay, well, onward to Death Mountain, and the Gorons.

But first? I'm gonna find a pot and fix myself an egg tart. Fuck it. Ganon can't take joy from me, and the greatest joy I know is yummy snacks.

Day 98

I made it to Goron City, and asked the leader Bludo what was going on. The Goron divine beast was piloted by Daruk, a mighty Goron warrior. There's a huge statue of Daruk overlooking Goron City. Just seeing that statue awakened a memory in me. I was hanging out with Daruk on the divine beast Vah Rudania - a big lizard robot - as Daruk learned to drive it. He shielded me from some falling rocks. Daruk was strong even for a Goron. I really liked him, he was a good dude.

My work for the Gorons involved finding one of Daruk's descendents, Yunobo. Yunobo has a bit of an issue with fear - a couple of times I got him out of situations where there were some monsters threatening him. It's funny because he's probably way stronger than those monsters - but fear is sneaky.

Actually I think about this a lot because I am an elite warrior. Fear is probably good! I bet People who have no fear often die real young, for no good reason. Fear keeps you alive. But, you have to make it so that you're scared of actually dangerous things. You have to calibrate it. It is hard, as a warrior, to be afraid of the right things.

Yunobo was afraid of everything. Which is funny, because he actually has Daruk's power of protection! He can make a magic, ball-shaped shield around himself, which stops anyone from hitting him, even from behind. I kept finding him cowering in a corner, with a couple monsters taking turns whacking his protective shield with giant swords... and it's like, guys. What are any of you doing.

So, I spent the afternoon literally firing Yunobo out of various cannons, in his protective shield, at Vah Rudania, to basically take down its defenses and let me on. It's like.. gee, I sure hope that after I take control of this thing it's still in good enough working order to laser Ganon properly.

Day 99

ok, well, as usual, freeing the divine beast was kinda easy. The hardest part was that the lights were out at the start.

I keep wondering why this stupid plan of Ganon's ever worked in the first place - I just don't see how these weird half-Ganon half-robot creatures could have ever defeated all of these absolutely legendary warriors, and also Revali. It doesn't make any sense. Maybe the ganon things were stronger back in the day?

I met Daruk's ghost. He showed me how to do the protective shield magic. You kind of punch your fists together, clench down, and grunt.

Now Vah Rudania is aiming its targeting laser at Hyrule Castle too.

also, the Princess spoke to me in my mind again! Aaaaaah it was so good to hear her voice - though she mostly just congratulated me on getting all 4 divine beasts powered up, and that everyone "awaits my clash with Ganon" in Hyrule Castle. It was kinda ... impersonal? I think I might have gotten a bit mixed up in my head about the princess and me being an unstoppable evil-fighting hero team. It's like, no, she's royalty and a legendary science-battle-wizard. I'm a soldier. I need to remember my place. It's hard though.

Chief Bludo and Yunobo gave me Daruk's Boulder Breaker as a reward. . I'm gonna go hang it up in my house.

update 4pm - as soon as I teleported back to Hateno Village, the princess spoke to me again! She said I'd conquered every trial placed before me and was sure that I could "unlock the power hidden within". Zelda, what does that mean?

She also said I should go back to the shrine of resurrection and put my slate back in the pedestal. Well, that I can get behind. Zelda hasn't told me to do anything yet other than "hurry" - if she says I should do something, I do it. I'll get straight to it after hanging up this giant hammer sword thing of Daruk's.

update 415pm: Guh, that sucked.

I teleported back to the science bed and put my slate in the pedestal. And then a voice spoke to me in my mind - it wasn't Zelda. He called himself Maz Koshia and sounded exactly like the monks in all the shrines. He said some things but he was boring so I didn't really pay attention.

Then, some magic happened and a big fork appeared in the middle of the room. Like, it had a handle like a sword, and a fork part like a fork? Kind of like if 4 swords were friends? I don't really know how to describe this thing. It was blue. But when I picked up the fork, it nearly killed me! It sucked out my life force like a giant health-sucking fork. I don't feel great - hopefully that sorts itself out. I better be really careful.

Not sure what's going on but there's some new points on the map so I guess I'll go check those out.

Day 100

Woo 100 days! that's kinda badass. I looked back at all the writing I did. It was hard for me at the start but I think it's pretty good! I am awesome at writing.

I have been doing stabs. It turns out that the weird fork I have is really good for stabbing.

So, I went to two of those new points on the map. They're all on the Great Plateau and there's a monster camp at each one. I have to be pretty careful because I still don't feel great - I wouldn't want any of those monsters to hit me. Luckily my magic health-sucking fork sucks the health of everything I hit with it, too. Like, it nearly killed me, but it actually kills monsters. And I've still got my bows and stuff, so it's actually almost easier than usual.

After I kill all the monsters, a shrine bursts out of the ground. On the outside the shrine looks a little different than the others - they have a tall square top, like a hat - but it's generally just a normal shrine on the inside. It's a little harder than usual to train, because I feel so unwell - but, you know, whatever. I just make extra care to avoid the spiky ball things and rotating knives and whatever other stupid shit is in it.

Ancient monks are so weird. They're all like, you know what would maybe help train a hero ten hundred years from now? Rotating knives. Either that or, like, a really big sliding block puzzle. I mean, it's working, I'm getting stronger, so I can't complain.

Oh no wait, I totally can complain! One of the shrines was the worst. On some level it was easy, it was just jumping from platform to platform and dodging spikes that shoot out from the wall, but I had the sense that there were like dozens of times when I just barely survived. I'm sure that in some alternate universe, I just straight died and Ganon won. That's not training, that's just straight dangerous. I walked out of that place with this intense sense of... like... being annoyed. Fuck you, Monk Prohta Chigah (I wrote down his name so that I wouldn't forget that he was a dick).

I nearly peed on that shrine when I left, but then remembered the princess was probably watching me magically, so I didn't.

However, the bard Kass was there, after I left the annoying shrine. He sang me a weird song. It was about another divine beast? I think? Something about riling up horses? Something about "the breath of the wild," too, I thought that was a nice phrase. If I'd paid more attention, I could write down more of the words but I forgot to do that.

I don't think sleep is really gonna help me here, and I don't really feel well enough to eat - but I think I'll rest a bit anyway.

Day 101

OK, there were 2 more shrines and 2 more monster camps which I dealt with. After, the health-sucking fork reverse-sucked all my health back into me, so now I feel totally fine again. Then the fork exploded into four pieces, each of which flew off towards one of the divine beasts. Maz Koshia told me to do some stuff but that guy is so boring I really have no memory of what he said.

So, now I guess I'm going to go back the divine beasts, and see what sort of weird science bullshit sprouted out of the ground this time. Fuck me.

Gosh, I hope someone understands what's going on here, because it's not me. If I ever become a monk then my shrine is going to have a nice book that clearly explains things, with short words and big pictures. There'll be a set of free weights, and a buffet.

Sigh. No, actually, there's no need to make things complicated. The Princess needs me to do this, so I do it.

I think I'll start with Vah Medoh - Tomorrow I'll warp back to Ritoh Village, see what's going on. Oh oh oh oh and I can catch a hearty salmon and try that Seafood Paella idea I came up with a while back! I've still got all the other ingredients in my backpack! Aw man this is going to be so tasty.

Update, 7pm: Hey, I bet that it's called a "fork" because there's four stabby bits at the end. If there were three it would be called a "threek". If there were eleven it would be an "elevenk". So that means the four pieces of the fork are all called "wunks". Writing is great because it helps you train your language.

Day 102

Ah, fishing. What could be more restful? You find yourself a nice quiet patch of grass by a pond. Then, standing on your grass, you chuck a bomb into the water, blow it up, and then swim around picking up dead fish.

So, i did that for a bit, and now I'm back at Rito Village, fixing myself some tasty food. Unfortunately, I seem to be making some mistake with my paella- I've been trying and trying, and I can't make the paella come out like Kiana's. I'd better go back to Lurelin Village when I get a chance, and get some Paella lessons. It's more like fried rice or something.

Update 2pm: Well, I went to the spot on the map beside Vah Medoh, and indeed there's a monument that sprang out of the ground. It's got some mini-maps on it. Also, the bard Kass was there - he sung me a song which said I have to shoot the fire dragon Farosh's horn, do a downhill shield surfing race, and shoot a bunch of targets.

I mean, ok, at least I am on familiar ground. Those are all tasks of an athlete and warrior? So, should be straightforward.

I studied the map of the fire dragon - it looks like a piece of Tanagar Canyon, so I'm parked there. There's a Rito warrior named Mazli here too - he's guarding the canyon to keep an eye on the dragon. I think the bard Kass mentioned this to me actually - that he'd talked to the Rito elder Kaneli about this - but I forgot. Ah well. I'll sit with Mazli at his fire, and wait for the dragon to come through. Apparently I just need to shoot its horn with an arrow, and I'm pretty good at that now, what with all the sacred rituals I've been doing.

Day 103

I mean, it's technically day 103. Realistically I stayed up til 1am, waiting for the dragon to show up. It made a shrine appear across the canyon. But, it's late, and I would like a nap. So I traveled back to Rito Village and sleep at the Swallow's Roost overnight.

Update 10am: went back and did that shrine. It was the usual sort of stuff - I used it to practice with my stasis rune. But, at the end, the monk's gift wasn't his soul - it was this emblem of Vah Medoh. He said I needed to collect three of them. That's clear enough.

Update 3pm: next trial was a downhill shield surfing practice, just like Kass said! I wish I'd done a little more practicing with Selmie, because I wasn't able to fit in all that many sick tricks. Except one time I did an ollie into a paraglider traverse, and did a frontside 360 on landing. That was pretty great. When I finished the race, a shrine popped out of the snow. It was, like, big orb practice or something? And again, the monk gave me an emblem. Like I said before, monks are weird.

Update 9pm - Figured I'd fit all the shrines into one day. For this one I really wasn't clear on what Kass said I should do, so I went back to talk to the Rito leader Kaneli. He said that the trick was to shoot 4 targets at the flight range, all at once - and that Revali had done some similar feat once.

The flight range is where Rito archers train their air archery skills - I used it a while back, when I was convincing the Rito warrior Teba that I was worthy to take to the divine beast. I don't have a great way to fire 4 arrows, but I did manage to get the shrine to appear by firing 4 arrows real fast, one after another. I've always noticed that time seems to slow down for me when I draw my bow - it's pretty weird actually, almost like a kind of magic that I can do, too. I should really play around with that sometime - seems pretty neat that I can mess with time like that. Anyway, last shrine was about floating around a big rotating tower.

I now have all 3 Vah Medoh Emblems. I am not sure what I'll need to do next, but the monk said I need to go up to Vah Medoh. So I'm gonna rest up again at the Swallow's Roost.

Day 104

Okay, well, I'm up at Vah Medoh, and nothing's happening... wait, I hear a voice. It's that boring monk Maz Koshia. What's he want now?

Update 12 :00: I probably should have paid closer attention instead of writing in my diary while Maz Koshia was talking to me because that was fuuuuucked up. I think I actually kinda passed out, and then I was like, dreaming about my fight to reclaim the divine beast! I dreamed that Maz Koshia said that it was a special kind of training - a dream training - and that it was training in how to face my own fear.

My fear?

I thought those fights were all easy! Did I really have fear?

Anyway, in my dream, I was fighting that weird Wind Ganon thing again, the thing which killed Revali. And it was a lot harder - for starters, I had all the wrong gear. I only had one flimsy Rito sword, which had been super weakened by Ganon I think - it shattered basically right away. It was like, aw shit, well, I guess I'm gonna take this thing down with arrows. But also, my bows kinda sucked - I did have a bunch of them, but none of them were the nice long range, high damage bows I've gotten used to. Luckily I had lots of arrows.

And, since the damn monk prepped me to think about it, I realized I actually was afraid.

It feels weird to write it down, but I was. I didn't know what was going on, I didn't really know if I had the right tools for the job, and I didn't know what would happen to me if I failed. One possibility was that I just woke up - but I sure wasn't going to rely on it! So, yeah, I did have some fear - the kind of fear that helps you stay alive.

Now that I think about it, I wasn't being super honest with myself in this journal, about the first fight, either. I just wrote that Ganon sucked at fighting. But that is not true. He was a worthy opponent, who I defeated. And I defeated him with my mind - I understood his attack patterns, thought through his weaknesses, and exploited them. The reason he didn't beat me is that he was not able to do the same with me.

Anyway, I was able to defeat Ganon the second time, in my dream - largely by shooting Ganon repeatedly in the eye. I know that works because it works real well on the robots, and the eye was a robot eye. After that I awoke. Monk Maz Koshia said some more stuff, and then, of all people, I ran into the bard Kass again! He sang me a song about Revali.

It was a song about how Princess Zelda came to request Revali's help with the fight with Ganon. It was a super good song, and I remember the events almost as though I'd been there myself (which I wasn't, I'm pretty sure - or at least, I think the song would have mentioned it if I were!) Revali had been practicing his make-an-updraft move, and he'd screwed it up embarassingly in front of the princess. But he kept at it, apparently, and succeeded. Then he talked shit about me. Pretty typical.

I guess I do have a grudging respect for the guy. He did invent a new aerial combat technique, and he was quite good with his bow. And he has shown some grit, hanging out in spirit form for 100 years until I freed him.

Actually, Revali's ghost also spoke to me, and told me that I'd gotten better at using his technique. That surprised me. Maybe that's what all the training was about? That and about knowing myself better. Huh.

Well, like I said, monks are weird.

Day 105

I spent yesterday at Rito village, thinking.

The Rito found Revali's diary - which they kindly let me read. He was a pretty unpleasant guy! And it has given me a lot to think about, because I'm seeing some of those unpleasant things in me, a little bit.

A lot of the unpleasantness was about how he talked about himself (he is awesome) and other people (they suck). He thought that he was so awesome that he had trouble connecting with others - even to the point that he thought Hylians only think about themselves, that the Princess was "talentless," and so on. I... don't want to be like that.

It's also interesting how Revali writes about me specifically. But also, he also seems to write that I hardly ever spoke, at all. That's interesting. Unlike Revali's other observations, this one makes sense. I don't have many memories of myself speaking - except with the princess - and I think it's because that seldom happened. That's strange! I certainly speak to people all the time, now. It would be really way harder for me to get by now without talking to people.

Am I even the same person I was 100 years ago, really? Maybe there's been some changes. Like, I didn't remember whatever weird life lesson taught me not to talk, so now I talk to everyone. That's gotta be an improvement. I hope I keep not remembering that. Losing my memories has maybe been good.

But anyway. The thing that really troubles me the most is that Revali has real problems with people not understanding how great he was. For instance, he felt that I outranked him unjustly and just couldn't handle that it was me, not him, who would be facing Ganon. This troubles me because I actually feel a similar way, a bit? When people dismiss me, they seem boring, and I dismiss them. I can flip back a few pages in this diary, and find myself dismissing Revali in exactly this way.

I am wondering now whether that is really how I want to be.

I mean, there's differences. The most important thing to Revali was to prove himself to the world, even at the cost of having a difficult personality. My most important thing seems to be Princess Zelda and snacks. Still, I don't really want someone to unearth this journal after a hundred years and go "wow, that Link guy sure was a dick."

Day 106

I was flying down from Tabantha Tower to smash that giant exploding-in-gems monster again - I have lots of cash, but I wanna get some sweet earrings made from the gemstones - when I noticed something weird off in the distance, in the big cliffs which start the Gerudo Highlands. It looked like a giant statue. I'm gonna go over there and check it out real quick.

Update 2pm: Wow, this thing is crazy. It is a giant statue of a Gerudo warrior, maybe fifty times my own height; it is carved right into the cliff face. It must have taken decades of work by many, many people - or else some big rock carving machine we don't have any more. It's amazing. My slate identifies it as the "statue of the Eighth heroine" which is the thing that guy Bozai sent me off to find. I'm gonna go show him a picture of it and see if he gives me his sand boots. That'll speed things up!

Update 3pm: Bummer, Bozai wanted me to give him the snow boots back. But, he did give me the sand boots! He also thinks I'm super hot but I didn't really want to go on a date with him. Also it sounds like he's willing to part with the snow boots too, if I also find him a picture of the giant sword in the Gerudo Highlands - it is, I guess, a companion statue, or something? I wonder why the artists made them, and why they're so far apart. Anyway, I forgot to mention it but I know where that is - I saw it while I was tromping around in the Gerudo highlands earlier. I'm going to go and do that today.

Also I got so much jewelry at the jewelry store just now. All sorts of circlets and earrings and stuff. I am pretty.

Update 6pm: ha, got a picture of the sword! It's hard to get all the way up to Gerudo Summit, so I ate some of my keep-me-warm food - a spicy stir fry - put on my good climbing gear, and just went for it.

Now I have Bozai's snow boots. Man, that guy thinks I'm so hot.

Okay, well, now I'm off to Zora's Domain.

Day 107

I found a similar monument in Zora's domain, just like the one in Tabantha. Three maps. And again, the bard Kass.

This time I listened a little more to the words of Kass' song. It sounds like the three trials that I have to do will be three trials that Lady Mipha did, and that the trials themself help you command the divine beast. I don't think I need to command the divine beast, but the trials did help me think about myself a lot, and remember. And the princess wants me to do them, which is enough.

The song said something about defeating ancient foes, and... maybe... racing through rings? and something about... uh, actually I forget. Maybe I didn't listen. I can get Kass to sing me the song again, but I feel bad I didn't pay attention the first time. Or, maybe I can just kinda figure out where I have to be, and then it'll be clear what I have to do.

Oh right, I should go ask King Dorephan and Prince Sidon. Kass said he'd talked to them.

Sidon says that one of the trials is probably out by Ulria Grotto - and that something is going on out there (he wasn't specific) - he sent his advisors Muzu and Tottika out there to check it out. So, that's a good lead. Sidon's such a fantastic guy. I suspect he thinks I'm hot.

King Dorephan and Sidon both spoke highly of Mipha. I am thinking of her quite a bit now, too. It sounds like, had things gone another way, I might well have ended up at least dating her - it seems that we spent a lot of time together in our youth. It is so strange not to remember any of those feelings. I guess I'm probably always going to have some big gaps in my memory.

King Dorephan also said that they found Mipha's Diary. Is everyone now trying to dig up their champions' old stuff? I bet they are, now that all the divine beasts in place and lasering Hyrule castle. People have to be curious.

It seems like a very, very different thing to read Mipha's diary than it was reading Revali's diary. I am not sure I am going to do it. I expect Revali probably would be totally happy that others wanted to read his diary - it would be just one more piece of evidence of his legacy as a warrior. But Mipha probably was not expecting me to ever read it.

Anyway. I'll see what I learn from the trials that I will now undertake.

Day 109

Okay. First trial down.

I got up early and headed out to Ulria Grotto, to find Muzu and Tottika. Muzu shared that at dawn, you have to "follow the path of the light to the trial." So, I meditated by their campfire by dawn.

At dawn, the light from the rising sun in the east shines across the sea, making a trail of sunlight across the waves pointing due east. In that trail, a blue shining ring appeared. I flew down to that ring, and a shrine appeared - it was a shrine about hauling giant blocks of ice around, and melting them into just the right shapes with torches to solve a puzzle.

Muzu seemed to be saying that Princess Mipha attempted the very same trial as me. I do not understand how that can be - I needed to use my slate to open the shrine. Besides, at the end of the trial, there was a monk who gave me an emblem of Vah Ruta, and then died. Maybe the monks don't die at the end of the trial always? Maybe they just kinda hang out. Or, maybe Mipha had a different experience - I guess she would have swum out to the shrine, rather than flying. Anyway. That was fairly straightforward, in the end.

Update, 6pm: second trial down. This trial was in Upland Zorana, and involved smashing a bunch of robots - 3 flying robots and one of those extend-o-robots with the long neck, like I saw at Hyrule Castle. I'm pretty well equipped for robot smashing at this point. The shrinewas pretty straightforward, too - one of those ones where you guide a giant orb through a little racecourse.

Strangely, Bazz and another older Zora - I think it was Seggin - were watching me as I smashed robots. I mean, that wasn't strange, I guess they were keeping an eye on the robots - they were far too near Zora's Domain for comfort. The strange thing was that Seggin said that he never thought I'd be able to defeat the robots the way Mipha had done. I guess these were all of Mipha's trials, too. I wonder how she handled the robots! I used ancient arrows, for the flying ones - it's just easiest. When I draw my bow in midair, it's like time slows down for me - so it's easier to hit them in the eye, which is what you need to do.

I'm going to turn in early, to get a good night's sleep for the third trial.

Day 110

The third trial involved racing up a waterfall and passing through rings. And the shrine was a puzzle about magnetically sliding big blocks around. Again, pretty straightfoward, familiar territory.

Again, I was directed back to the Divine Beast Vah Ruta; again, I had a weird hallucination of my past fight with it, but I had all the wrong gear. This time, I had all my zora armor on - so at least I could swim quite quickly - and I had a bunch of Mipha's weapons: a Zora bow, a few arrows, and a bunch of tridents.

And again, the monk Maz Koshia spoke to me in my mind before the fight. He said that the battle was going to be based in my deepest fears, and only mastering those fears could bring success. I mean, I did win the battle, so fears mastered, I suppose? But I do wonder what those fears were.

I really would be kinda disappointed if it was just the fear of dying in battle... like, that's kinda boring. Of course, since I'm a warrior, that's always a possibility! But I think that really is it. I have some deep-down fear of dying in battle, or maybe just losing, and that's what the monk Maz Koshia wants me to work through. This time, he was getting at it through Mipha's death - which is why I had all her stuff.

The bard Kass once again waited for me, and sang me the song he had written about Mipha. I think Kass is going to write songs about the princess asking each of the champions to drive one of the divine beasts. In Mipha's song, she is devastated to hear that I am going to be participating - I suppose she must have loved me by then, and been worried for my safety. Then she helped young Prince Sidon learn to scale a waterfall, and spoke to him of his responsibility to protect the domain in her absence, one day. I wonder whether she suspected that she might not survive the return of Ganon. Kass has a real gift for storytelling - it seemed just as though I was there for the conversation.

Sadly, nothing I have learned about my past has really filled me in on how I felt about Mipha. I had hoped I would remember her more. She is still a total mystery to me.

Day 110

I used all my ancient arrows taking down flying robots - I have to go buy some more from Robbie, the ancient weapons expert in Akkala.

I decided to take the long way around - I traveled to East Akkala Stable, took out my horse Strawberry and rode up. It was nice. It was raining a bit, and a robot did try to laser me a bit, but you know. That's normal in Akkala.

While I was up there I read Robbie's memoirs - and I learned something huge: I was in a gigantic battle at Fort Hateno, and that is where I nearly died. He and Purah accompanied me to the Shrine of Resurrection from there. I had always wondered why there were so many broken robots there, and now I have the answer - I smashed 'em. Or, at least some of them. But I guess it wasn't enough. What happened in Fort Hateno?

There's one more photo, that Zelda took. It's not from Fort Hateno. I don't really know where it was taken actually, but I do know, from the order of the photos in the slate, that it was taken after the calamity. I... have been avoiding thinking about it actually, I'll admit that here. I am not sure I want to remember the events around that photo, not sure at all.

Rather than think about that, let me instead say the other awesome thing I did today! I rode down to Tarrey Town to stop in. Hudson and Rhondson are getting married! I'm so excited! And kinda surprised actually, because last I talked to Rhondson she kind of described Hudson as unpleasantly sweaty. But anyway, I guess she thought it over and decided he was pleasantly sweaty or something.

Ew. I wonder how badly I'd have to maim myself in order to go back in the resurrection shrine and lose the memory of the idea of a pleasantly sweaty Hudson. Wow.

Anyway. They've asked me to keep an eye out for a Zora priest who'd be willing to marry them, so I'll have a look around when I return to the domain. I've got some stuff I should do there - there's a couple shrines I know how to unlock - there's something about a ritual where I dive off a waterfall and stab something with a ceremonial trident. I dunno.

Day 111

Sorted out the thing with the trident - it had fallen into the river near Zora's Domain, so I fished it out magnetically and air-attacked a pedestal with it, and a shrine appeared. And indeed found a priest willing to travel to Akkala to marry Hudson and Rhondson. He's a Zora named Kapson. So he's headed straight over there.

I did a few more errands for some folks around town - caught some frogs for a Zora kid, you know, silly stuff. I just needed something to do while thinking. I've been thinking a lot, about love, and loss, and... well, I think I have to read Mipha's diary, the diary that King Dorephan told me about. I'm sorry, Mipha.

update 4:00pm:

I'm sitting in the Seabed Inn in Zora's Domain trying to sort my thoughts out. That was a lot. Let me try to write some of it down.

I read Mipha's diary and felt terrible about it. A lot of the writing was about me. But it didn't stir much in the way of memories.

It seems that Mipha knew me even as a young child - despite all my work I still remember little of my childhood, beyond fleeting memories. Even then I was a prodigy with a sword. That part did stir some memories actually - I remember my pride in having bested one of the King's knights in combat, even at the age of eight.

Zora age more slowly than Hylians, so in the next diary entry about me, I had grown up and had drawn the Master Sword. Mipha wrote that something about me had changed - specifically that I hardly spoke anymore. I don't think much has changed. I still totally feel like that little kid. Maybe I forgot the thing that changed, whatever it was, and I changed it back.

Anyway. It seems like the turning point for me and Mipha was one visit that I made to the Domain, after becoming the Sword's Chosen, but before becoming Zelda's appointed protector. I apparently saved our lives by slaying a Lynel, on the high plains of Ploymus Mountain.

I now think that was the exact moment that Princess Mipha fell in love with me. Though she probably thought I was hot beforehand (like most people, apparently).

The thing I am so upset about, above all, is that I still have no idea about whether I loved Mipha in return or not. And that is probably because I never had to think about that question - or even really talk about it with Mipha. Mipha, it seems, never told me how she felt, the dumbass. I think that most I ever got out of her was a request to "spend some time together".

I was probably quite fond of Mipha - why would I have made the trip to Zora's Domain to see her otherwise? But I am now sure I never sorted out my feelings clearly. So there is nothing clear for me to remember - just a complicated mess of half-thoughts and beginning-feelings. And, I guess that stuff is probably just gone now - I remember images, scenes, actions, stuff like that. Nothing vague.

Mipha made that whole suit of armor for me and then just never gave it to me - because in Zora culture such a gift would be the same as declaring her love, and she was afraid to do that. I guess.

Mipha I am so upset... you were one of the bravest warriors I ever met, why would this of all things cause you to lose your courage. I just don't understand.

Day 112

It's 1am and I can't sleep.

The time I saved Mipha from that Lynel attack sounds similar to the time I saved Zelda from a Yiga assassination attempt, actually? I still can't remember the Lynel. I wonder why I remembered the one thing and not the other.

I forgot to say earlier - The last few entries in the diary were just Mipha scheming about how to get me away from Princess Zelda for a few minutes, so that me and Mipha could be alone together. By that point I was Zelda's bodyguard so the two of us were together basically at all times.

In fact Mipha was super jealous of the time I was spending with Zelda. Or, maybe not jealous - maybe just insecure or something? She was less than forthcoming about her feelings.

I think it was just because Zelda is a woman, honestly. Why that should matter, exactly, is beyond me - everyone thinks I'm hot.

I...

I wonder if Princess Zelda...

Nope! Nope nope nope. We are not going to do that in this diary. WRONG. I do not wonder about that. Incorrect.

update 1:30am

I feel a sudden need to not be in Zora's domain, to not think about love or duty or princesses of ANY sort or being hot or anything complicated at all.

So I actually just went to Gerudo town and rented a sand seal. I am going to ride around the desert doing shield surfing tricks. How simple and carefree it is to be Link, with nothing in particular I need to do and no serious responsibilities. La la la! Do dee doo dee doo. Frontside 360. Ollie. Wheeee! I am being normal about things.

Sigh.

Day 113

I stayed up for like 37 hours for literally no reason, except that I wanted to stop thinking! Let me tell you THAT WORKS. You cannot think after that long awake. The feelings are an issue, though. They get bigger.

Here are some things I found in the Gerudo desert:

I found a giant skeleton of some ancient animal. Inside it was a shrine, as well as the fourth and last Great Fairy! Her name is Tera, and like the others, men and cash are her favorite things. She likes men and cash WAY more than the others. She wanted like ten hundred bucks before she would come out of her fairy bud and enhance my stuff. I was like, sure, why not, I have ten hundred dollars and not a care in the world. I am now wondering if that was a good use of funds? On the plus side, my tunic is super-strong now. Nothing can touch me. I seem to remember that the tunic-reinforcing magic involved her dragging me into her underwater flower bud for intense smooching, and I nearly drowned. Fairy magic is truly unpleasant.

Also, the stupidest thing happened. I found a Gerudo woman named Pokki collapsed on a shrine in the middle of the desert - I couldn't even get her off the pedestal. She said she was dying of thirst, and that only a Noble Pursuit (a kind of drink) from the canteen in Gerudo Town would heal her. So, I went back to Gerudo town. The canteen was out of ice, so I brought them some ice, and then (on the bartender's advice) went back to tell Pokki that there was a best-ever Noble Pursuit waiting for her back in town... and she just ran off. Inside that shrine, a monk named Misae Suma gave me a hundred bucks, saying I had proven my worth by entering the shrine.

I... have questions for Monk Misae Suma. The question is: what the fuck? You sealed yourself in a shrine ten hundred years ago, and just knew that ten hundred years later when I tried to get into a shrine, a woman named Pokki would be there to make my life difficult? How in the name of Hylia could you have known that? Monks are even weirder than I ever imagined they could be.

Or, maybe I just hallucinated all of that stuff out of sheer fatigue. Who knows. Nothing makes sense any more, anyway.

Now I am going to make a Creamy Heart Soup. I learned the recipe from the Gerudo Master Chef Ashai - it is made from fresh milk, voltfruit, hydromelon, and two hearty radishes. I have all of that those ingredients! I bought the milk from the Hateno general store, and harvested the voltfruit and hydromelon fresh from the desert; the radishes were from Akkala. Preparing the soup is said to be a true challenge - the trick is that the voltfruit needs to be reduced to a roux, but not burned, and then the milk needs to be gradually added without scalding. The hydromelon and radish need to be added just at the right time - it is super delicate.

This should take 100% of my attention for several meditative, beautiful hours. Hopefully not even ONE thought will cross my mind during this time.

Monk Maz Koshia may well have a point. It turns out that I have several fears that I'm really, really not ready to face.

Day 114

I'm alone a lot. I don't ever feel like I'm alone, because I'm always in Hyrule, and Hyrule has always felt to me like my closest friend. But, there definitely are long stretches where I am traveling, or training or exploring, and at those times, I don't exchange more than a few words with people.

I think it's making me a little weird. Specifically, I think I'm getting mixed up in my head and my feelings about Princess Zelda.

I remember quite a bit about her now, but let's be real. She has maybe spoken 20 sentences to me, total, since I woke up from my long sleep. That's it. Most of those were specific instructions about how to use technology, or warnings that there's a blood moon.

I have a handful of memories of her from a century ago, but she has evidently changed a lot since then. She is a scientist and a princess and a warrior; she is the only reason there is still a Hyrule. I'm just one of the many soldiers who fell in battle, failing to do what she has done for a century straight: contain Ganon.

There was that one time when she tried to get me to eat a frog for a scientific study, but let's overlook that for the moment.

I can't be building up stories about our friendship, whatever I remember. I certainly can't be wondering whether Princess Zelda thinks I'm hot. None of it is real, just echoes of my own thoughts bouncing around in my head. I need to stay here, in Hyrule, in the real world. I have a job to do.

So, right now I am going with the following assumption: currently Princess Zelda is probably the only person who does not think I'm hot.

That should do it. Good.

Now, I just noticed that I'm sitting in the very center of Gerudo Town square writing this, at noon, and people are looking at me funny. Maybe I'll explore a little more, get the lay of the land, and then try the trials which - I imagine - will teach me of Lady Urbosa's story.

And maybe Lady Urbosa's story will teach me something about the princess.

Day 115

I found another Gerudo landscape art piece - along the lines of the Eighth Heroine statue: it was the other seven heroines. It was even more impressive - seven massive stone warriors, each about fifty times my height, each holding a giant sword. It was ancient; it had weathered and pieces were starting to break off. There were a bunch of colored metal orbs, and little holes to put them in - a shrine appeared when I got everything in the proper place. I can't even begin to imagine the amount of labor - or the magnitude of magic - that would be needed to make such a work.

Afterwards, I found the ancient Sheikah monument, atop a low peak near the divine beast Vah Naboris. Alongside it, as I have come to expect, was the bard Kass. Kass sang to me of the trials that Lady Urbosa performed - a race across the sands, a fight against a giant beast of the desert, and something about throwing an orb underground... very puzzling. And he mentioned that Chief Riju and Buliara would know more.

Indeed, they knew more. The Yiga clan had stolen an ancient artifact, an orb - clearly the orb I must "throw underground".

However the first trial I attempted was the race across the sands, which I did by sand seal. I've come to really love sand seal racing - it's almost better than downhill shield surfing. sealiously. I am being so sealious right now. The shrine was annoying, I kept getting electrocuted until I remembered my wonderful rubber, zap-proof outfit.

The second trial was the "Beast of the desert" which was a weird Molduga. I hadn't seen a normal Molduga, but it was like a really massive, angry sand seal - a huge monster, probably ten times my height and six times as long as it is high, which swims through the sand and leaps out at you.

Just before the fight began, I noticed a woman standing on a giant boulder - it turned out to be a journalist named Traysi. She writes for a newspaper called "Rumor Mill" that is distributed at the stables throughout Hyrule. She told me that regular weapons barely break through the Molduga's hide, and that the finest Gerudo warriors had failed to touch it. She was right - I broke about 5 really nice swords on this monster, stupidly. Eventually I noticed that there were a lot of metal weapons stuck in its hide, so I tried an electrical attack - which did work.

After the fight Traysi offered to write about me in her newspaper, saying that I'd have dozens of "female admirers." It's like, Traysi, everyone already thinks I'm hot, whatever gender they are - that's the last thing I need! She seemed to think I was making a big mistake and seemed really bummed. I felt kinda bad - I hope she finds a good story to write for her newspaper.

For the other trials, I will rest at the Hotel Oasis in Gerudo Town, until tomorrow.

Day 116

In Hylia's name, the Yiga are incompetent.

So, it turns out that the Yiga had indeed stolen a large glowing orb from the Gerudo Palace. There were a couple Hylian treasure hunters outside the Yiga hideout - I didn't get their names - and they were kind of trying to psych each other up to sneak in to the Yiga hideout and steal the treasure. But it was pretty clear that they were never gonna do it - so I did. It wasn't too hard - especially since I already knew the layout, and I knew the mindset of my adversary: they stored the orb where they store their other most precious possession - namely, their stockpile of bananas. I then snuck out exactly how I snuck in. Easy peasy.

At the exit of the Yiga headquarters is that giant hole in the ground, the one that that the Yiga boss Kohga fell down after I handed him his ass. And it was like "Aha! I have to throw this orb underground, right?" and I just straight tossed it in the hole without a moment's thought.

The second the orb left my hands, I was like... wait. that is one interpretation of Kass' song, for sure. But, what if I got it wrong, and I was supposed to do something else with the orb? What was my plan? Go down that hole and get it?

A long moment passed. The treasure hunters were yelling at me. I felt so stupid. And then a shrine burst out of the earth, so I guess I did it right. Still, wow, Link.

Update 4:00pm: I returned to Vah Naboris and had a brutal fight, in my mind, with the memory of Ganon. This time, though, I nearly died. Not only did I have all the wrong gear, I didn't have any electricity protection, and I didn't have any arrows. I rapidly brought it to the edge of defeat, but in desperation, it surrounded itself in an electric field. I couldn't touch it, and it just kept chipping away at my defenses. I was on the verge of defeat, when I remembered Urbosa's lightning attack. I snapped my fingers and said "eat this, bitch!" and finished it off with a single lightning strike. That was way, way too close.

Once again, Kass serenaded me with a song. It was a song of Zelda's visit to Lady Urbosa, to request her service in piloting a divine beast. Since Urbosa was leader of the Gerudo at the time, in addition to their finest warrior, it was a diplomatic visit - extremely formal. It was pretty funny because Zelda and Urbosa were actually best of friends. Afterwards, Zelda and Urbosa were walking together, and laughing at the absurdity of being royalty. They were briefly interrupted by Urbosa fending off a clumsy Yiga assassination attempt, which I guess happens a fair bit in Gerudo town? After, Urbosa explained to Zelda that she had been very good friends with Zelda's mother, the queen of Hyrule - and that the queen had died when Zelda was a young girl. That's why Urbosa called Zelda "little bird" - Zelda's mother had done the same. The song was heartbreaking - I absolutely cried.

If there was any truth to that song then I need to know it. Lady Urbosa, I apologize, but I need to read your diary, too.

Update 8:00pm - I spoke to Chief Riju - Lady Urbosa's diary was, again, a difficult read - though less personally mortifying for me. But it answered a lot of questions that I had, about the princess, her family, and her troubled relationship with her powers. And it raised about twice as many questions as it answered.

Urbosa wrote that the queen's death had absolutely wrecked her - that she couldn't write in the diary for years. The queen had, it seems, been a wonderful, caring mother to Zelda - and her death had been sudden and totally unexpected. Zelda, a young girl at the time, clearly carried a very deep grief. Sometimes, wounds like that just don't heal.

Urbosa continued, as best she could, to be a mentor and a loving "auntie" to Zelda - but as chief of a far-off nation, she just couldn't be with Zelda enough. Even as a young girl, it seems that Zelda felt the pressure from everyone around her to awaken her magical powers, and a deep shame that it wasn't working. Her inheritance from the goddess Hylia. For a while she was basically praying day in and day out, with nothing to show for it. I knew some of this, but it went on longer than I knew, and was more intense than I knew.

Just then, sudden understanding smacked me in the head like an off-course cucco.

Zelda couldn't activate her powers because she was hurt. The grief of losing her mother so young broke her inside, maybe even broke that connection to the goddess Hylia entirely.

As soon as I had the thought, I knew it to be right. And I know what I needed to do next, too - I need to return to Hyrule Castle, and look for records of the queen's death. I have to learn more.

I'm also out of big swords, I broke them all on that stupid Molduga.

Day 117

I am back at the castle, in a hidden room off of the library. The air is thick with Ganon's evil. But I have something I need to do, and I'm psyching myself up to do it.

So, the library is in kind of okay shape - there are some holes in the roof, sure, but there are still shelves and shelves of books, and many of them are intact, somehow. There are too many books to look through, in fact. I didn't know where to start.

However, the way that I get into the library is sneaky. A few of the bookcases are made of metal, and are moveable - so I can move them out of the way. Behind those are secret passages and hidden rooms. A lot of those were dead ends, that had collapsed when Ganon returned. One was the way I got into the library, leading down to the docks. But one of them turned out to be King Rhoam's secret study. Sitting open on the desk right now are the memoirs of Rhoam himself - Zelda's father, who crushed her spirit from the ages of 6 to 16, while also utterly failing to protect his realm from Ganon.

Oh man, this book is going to make me so angry. But I have to read it. I need to know what happened to my princess.

update 1:00pm: I don't even know the name of the emotion I'm having right now.

I don't

I don't even know where to start with this

How could anyone be wrong about so many things at once, to fail so utterly to be a good person, while also condemning almost all of your subjects to a fiery death.

And then to blame it all on your daughter, a child... just the inhumanity of it all, the callousness. All the while thinking himself some kind of martyr.

I have to leave. I don't know. I'll write about this later. I need out of here. I can't breathe and i feel like I'm going to be ill.

Day 119

I nearly died leaving the castle. I just walked straight outside. I wasn't thinking. There were like five lasers targeting me at once and I just did not care. I'm really lucky that I had gotten the Great Fairies to reinforce my tunic, and was wearing my anti-robot jewelry, because those robots blew me the fuck up. I was literally on fire and flying through the air. I landed on the ground, got up, and just kept walking. Then, it happened again. And again.

As I think back on it now, I remember Zelda's voice, from a memory, running through my mind: "There's a fine line between bravery and recklessness..."

Well, I was firmly across the line. In that moment I just did not care if I lived or died.

I walked all day and all night, directly away from the castle, just totally emotionally numbed. On the way, any time I saw any monster or robot or anything, I annihilated it with an ancient arrow. So, that was expensive. I need more ancient arrows now

When I got to Wetland Stable, I collapsed into a bed, and slept until now.

In hindsight, it was scary. It was like I was a robot, mindlessly stalking across the plain and dealing death for no reason. Was it what I learned from Rhoam's writing? Was it Ganon's evil? Both?

update, 8pm: I went for a walk, and found Leekah, a woman I'd met before by fighting off some monsters. She likes to sit by the river sometimes, and just watch it flow by. I asked if I could join her, if I didn't say anything, that I also just really needed to do some river-lookin' for a while. She said that would be OK. So we just sat on a rock and watched the river, until it was starting to get dark. Then we came back to the stable.

Let me try and summarize what I learned from the diary. Zelda's mother died when Zelda was six, as I already knew. The king knew that Zelda was deeply wounded by this, in a way which might never heal, and he also knew that this was stopping Zelda's powers from awakening. He knew that.

But his reaction was to crush Zelda's spirit, take away everything she loved, and force her to spend TEN YEARS continuously praying to Hylia. That was the only reason Zelda was praying and praying: her father made her. Who told King Rhoam that this was a good idea? Nobody. Literally nobody. He just assumed, and never questioned it.

Zelda has a magic power. It's a goddess power. People pray to the goddess, right? Right. So, the way that Zelda activates her power is to pray. Where do you pray? You pray in the best praying spot, which is apparently the middle of an ice cold fountain, whatever the weather. How much do you pray? You pray as much as you are physically capable. Oh, you have passed out? Well, wake up and pray. Oh, it's not working? More praying for you. Not enough time? Just stop doing things that are not praying. FOR TEN YEARS. Ten years of what should have been Zelda's childhood.

And Rhoam had the gall to write about how hard this was, as a father... anyone worth calling themselves a father - or a King - would have stopped this pointless cruelty immediately. Ten years. I can't conceive of it.

Zelda didn't lose the kingdom. I didn't lose the kingdom. The champions didn't lose it either. It was all him. All King Rhoam.

update 10pm: Pikango told me where I can find the last picture on my slate. It's not so far away. But I have other things to do first. I will set out for Death Mountain in the morning, for the fourth set of trials.

Day 120

I woke up and read the last couple journal entries and they literally don't make any sense. I went in there, read a book, and got so angry about King Rhoam that I nearly died of robots AGAIN, I just forgot to fight. That's literally insane.

And the writing! Normally when I write it is awesome. I'm like Blam! Kapowie! Slow-cook the meat, sous-vide and finishing sear! Zelda is so cool! I'm so hot! But the stuff in Hyrule Castle is... dark and heavy. It's not fun to read at all.

Then I flipped back and reread the last journal entry where I went to Hyrule Castle. That was just as crazy. Exactly the same thing happened to me, my thoughts and words and actions were all dark and twisted. It's like it was someone else doing the thinking...

Gosh, it's a good thing I've been keeping this diary! Because, I just learned something really, really important. Ganon was fucking with my head.

Like, yes, of course, Rhoam actually was a monster who literally tortured his only daughter for ten years for no reason, destroying his kingdom and killing all his subjects in the process. Whether or not he felt bad about it, he did it. Whatever. But in any normal situation, I wouldn't have been so consumed by those thoughts. That was Ganon, fighting me. He fights dirty.

And I now know that's also why the four champions, the finest warriors of each of their peoples, died in their Divine Beasts. Each of the Champions had massive weaknesses and blind spots, all around their own feelings.

Revali was terrified of dying in irrelevance, without a legacy, and was utterly consumed with how everyone thought of him.

Lady Urbosa had been badly hurt by the death of the Hylian queen, and filled with worry about princess Zelda.

Mipha was both scared FOR me, and scared OF me, so much so that she never told me she loved me.

I wonder what Daruk's deal was. I mean, I guess I'm going to go find out. He doesn't seem like the kinda guy who thought about his feelings much, so maybe that was it. Or, maybe he was afraid of dogs, or some bullshit like that.

Ganon saw all those weaknesses and exploited them, twisted the Champions' minds, and that's how he took them down. What an absolute motherfucker.

You know why it didn't work on me? I'd just woken up after a hundred year nap, with zero memories and no connection to the world at all. I had no thoughts at all in my head, just vibes. Ganon had nothing to work with. I probably should have just rushed straight over to Hyrule Castle right after waking up out of the Science Bed - I could have kicked Ganon's ass with a soup ladle. It was King Rhoam who told me to train up first, and every other idea he's had was wrong.

OK. So, that's clear. I need to train my mind. I need to have not just recklessness, but true courage, when I go in there to fight him. Actual warrior's bravery.

That's the real training I need to do: to fill my being with something so bright and beautiful that he can't drive it out. I wonder if there's a training shrine for that.

And I also need to fill my backpack with tasty snacks.

Day 122

I went to write down all the stuff I did on Death Mountain to learn about Daruk. But then I realized: it's all the same stuff. I hit a rock monster with an ice sword a bunch. I flew through some rings. I put a metal box in a volcano and stood on it. I did some shrines about setting stuff on fire while also not setting me on fire. It was boring.

I also did a shrine on the Isle of Rabac. Rabac is the letters of "A Crab", but rearranged. Also the Isle of Rabac is shaped like a crab. So there is like 2 ways that it is A Crab. Crabs are boring, but tasty.

Now I am gonna fight Ganon again to overcome the fear deep within me, or whatever.

I think at this point the fear deep with is that I won't finish finding out who I am in time to fight Ganon. But Ganon knows exactly who I am, and can use it to fuck with me. I am not sure how this is gonna help.

Maybe it'll help to learn a little more about Daruk.

update 12:00pm: Wow, Daruk really just walks into his fights with his Stone Smasher and basically nothing else. Fortunately Ganon has a weakness to smashing. Also guess what: DARUK WAS AFRAID OF DOGS. Called it.

Uh, I am still not sure how to use this info to overcome the fear within. Monk Maz Koshia, please explain.

Apparently I'm now supposed to go back to the shrine of resurrection for a final trial. I'm gonna have a snack first, and finish looking around Death Mountain. Also, Yunobo has Daruk's diary at his house.

Day 123

I read Daruk's diary. He called it a training journal - he was weirdly uncomfortable about the word "diary".

I bet I was right - Daruk's weakness (other than dogs) was that he just did not train his mind. His notion of journalling was "writing makes me hungry". He's a very pure guy, very genuine - he likes hitting things and eating rocks. So, I guess that Ganon could probably twist his mind easily, and that's how he fell. Either that or Ganon fired dogs at him.

Daruk wrote about food a lot, though, which is awesome. He didn't approve of me eating vegetables - he says he gave me a rock roast once. I ate it.

Also Zelda and I apparently bonded over tasty food, once. The one quote I have from Daruk is the princess saying "I guess we're the same, you and I," while discussing our various troubles. That's awesome. Maybe I wasn't just another soldier to her - maybe we were close friends like I imagined, after all. Imagining is awesome.

I can't imagine having troubles like Princess Zelda's troubles. If my childhood had been like hers, I don't think I could have become an elite warrior. Or ever achieved anything, actually. She is so amazing.

Daruk actually wrote about me a lot, which is nice. He seemed to really like me. He thought I was strong, I work hard, and I don't give up. All that is cool. Actually everything he wrote helps me - I really feel a lot of pressure to recover as much of my memories as I can. I think it's gonna be the key to winning my big fight with Ganon.

Speaking of princesses and food, I forgot to say that in the Castle I found some pages out of the Royal Cookbook and learned that Princess Zelda's favorite dessert is fruitcake. I gotta practice fruitcake making. I should bring the princess a fruitcake that we can have after we kick Ganon's ass. I also learned there was "a chancellor" whose favorite cake was monster cake, which helps you with "evil scheming". That seems kinda suspicious.

Day 124

Well, I went back to the science bed, and put my slate back on the pedestal. Monk Maz Koshia said some boring stuff and then lowered the whole inside of the science bed down further into there earth. It's like there was another divine beast down there - it looked a little like a big lab, where the ancient sheikah were testing out the different machines that they'd need to make the real divine beasts.

After doing some puzzles and stuff, a door opened into where Monk Maz Koshia was resting. I'm right now sitting here trying to figure out what is gonna happen next. Is he gonna give me his soul?

update, 7:00pm THAT WAS AWESOME. EVERYTHING IS SO AWESOME RIGHT NOW.

Where do I even start.

So, I was totally wrong about Monk Maz Koshia. That dude is not boring. He only makes boring words. He's actually an elite magical ninja warrior. We had the coolest sparring match I've ever had, on a floating platform in the sky over Hyrule.

Monk Maz Koshia was like, teleporting all over the place, and making like 8 ghostly clones of himself, floating up into the sky, transforming into a giant laser-monk, and stuff. It was crazy. But I was the better fighter - mostly because I kept snacking on rice balls, to keep my energy up. I won the match, passing the trial.

After, he said that there was no doubt in my mind that I was a true hero, and then he gave me a... machine? I'm not sure how to describe this.

It is like a horse which is also a 2-wheeled carriage. It looks kind of like a tiny little divine beast I guess. But it's real small, smaller than an actual horse. You sit on it. There's places to put your feet and hands, and controls. It rolls on its own, and by pulling on the handholds, you can point it where it should go. So, you can use it the way you would use a horse, to travel. Or, that's what Maz Koshia says, anyway. I haven't tried it yet. Apparently it's really loud. It's also portable - there's now a function on my slate to make it teleport to me.

It is called the Master Cycle Zero. I know all those words but I don't know what they mean when you put them together like that. I can't wait to try it.

After THAT, he teleported me back down to the Great Plateau, and Kass was there. Kass sang me a song about the champions. It stirred a memory in me - a memory of when the scientist Purah took a picture of me, Zelda, Daruk, Revali, Urbosa and Mipha together, on the Sheikah Slate - right after we were all appointed as champions. I remember Purah getting us to stand close together - Revali didn't want to, and Mipha was so nervous to stand near me that she was hyperventilating. But then Daruk kind of sabotaged the picture, by grabbing all of us with his enormous arms in a massive bear hug, so the picture is pretty funny.

Actually, Kass' teacher's had painted a painting based on the picture, and Kass gave it to me. I love it so much. It's pretty big, but I have a good place to hang it in my house. Maybe I'll ride over there on the Master Cycle Zero.

And then, the Princess spoke to me again, and said she was super proud of all the work I am doing and that she truly believes I can defeat Ganon. I... am not so sure yet, but it is so nice to hear her voice. It made me feel proud, too, and hopeful.

But anyway, it's getting a little late. I'm still up on the Great Plateau, and I'm going to make a campfire, back where I first met the ghost of King Rhoam, and rest. Tomorrow I will try out the Master Cycle Zero.

Day 125

The Master Cycle Zero is the awesomest thing ever in the history of awesome things.

So, first of all, you basically can't fall over when you're using it. I don't understand how because there's only 2 wheels, but if you lean to one side, it turns instead of falling over - kind of like when you are riding a horse. It goes so fast, and makes a WRRROOOOORRRM noise. It is way faster than a horse. If you run into small monsters with it, they die. Also, I rode it OFF the great plateau and just totally landed without any injury. I don't know how that works, but it's so much fun.

It makes me feel like making bad decisions. I need to be careful.

I was having so much fun that I totally got lost - I left the Great Plateau the wrong way, so I wound up riding through Faron and going to Lurelin Village. Actually there were some ruins near the village - they were real old, they looked like they were made by the same people who made the ruins in Faron. There was a shrine there, too - I rode around the beach on the Master Cycle Zero looking for broken pieces of a stone circle which said how to open it. I had to cover a lot of ground, and it was way faster on the Master Cycle Zero than any other way.

update 12:00pm I teleported back to Hateno Village and hung my new painting on the wall. I wanted to ride there but it's actually kind of awkward, riding with such a big painting sticking out of my bag. The korok magic kind of helps it pack down a little bit, but it is still kinda clunky.

I showed the Master Cycle Zero to Purah, since she works just outside Hateno, in her lab. She made the loudest squealing sound i have ever heard. Scientists are so funny about science. She started taking a whole bunch of measurements, and then got on the Master Cycle Zero and rode it into a cliff face. Both she and the Master Cycle Zero seem to be ok but I think now only elite warriors like me, with fast, battle-hardened reflexes, should be allowed to ride it. Purah pouted about this a lot but ultimately agreed.

Purah is going to take measurements of the Master Cycle Zero for a couple days, to learn how it works. I think she won't try and ride it again.

I'm going to practice making fruitcake.

Day 127

Purah has finished taking her measurements. She absolutely tried to ride the Master Cycle Zero again, she has a big scrape on her arm. I gave her a potion I made from a hearty lizard, which fixed it up. But I was right: that machine is too much fun, and it helps you make bad decisions.

Purah also did some research - she says that the Master Cycle Zero it is called a "bike". I don't know that word but it is too boring to write "Master Cycle Zero" all the time, so that is now what I will call it. Bike.

I am getting pretty good at fruitcake - I have made 5 of them. But I don't yet think it is good enough to give to a princess. There is now at all times a small crowd of Hylian children following me around, asking for cake leftovers. I will keep trying. I will be the best at fruitcake.

It is nice and maybe important to take a break but I also need to get back to my training. I must think hard about what to do next.

Maybe I should go up to Akkala, get some more Ancient Gear from Robbie, check in to see if Kapson made it to Tarrey Town, and look around a little bit. I know there's some shrines up by Skull Lake, and I here there's a monster enthusiast by the name of Kilton that I should meet. And also I want to look around Faron a bit, there's some lakes I've never been to.

Day 129

It is good that I have this journal because something weird happened. I figured out a new magic power? I think?

I figured it out on my own, not with the help of a monk or anything like that.

So I was up in Faron, at Riola Spring. The spring is a lake at the top of a big waterfall and is where some of the water in Floria Falls comes from. There were a whole bunch of old wooden chests floating in the lake.

The easiest way to get those chests out is to use the slate to magically make an ice block underneath - it lifts the chest up and out of the water. I was standing on shore, doing that, when suddenly a monster attacked me. It was one of those super annoying ones that floats just under the surface of the water and fires rocks at you. So, I took it out with an arrow.

Now, here's the crazy part. I can kinda make time slow down when aiming my bow, and I've definitely noticed that some objects don't quite move right when slowed - but this time something crazy happened: the ice block absolutely launched the chest into the sky. It took almost ten seconds for it to fall all the way back down to earth.

I spent the next hour just flinging chests into the sky with my new magic power. It is so much fun. You start a block of ice growing under the thing you wanna fling, then you leap off an edge and slow down time with your sick archery skills.

I'm gonna go find a raft floating in a lake and see if I can launch that into the sky.

update, 12:00pm AHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS SO SICK. There's a lake in Akkala, Skull Lake, that I've meant to visit for a while - there's a guy there, Kilton, who I'd been meaning to talk to. He sells monster extract. But also there was a raft in the water. I did the thing with the ice and the bow, and it just absolutely sent the raft flying. I have no idea where it went.

Unlike all the other things I can do, this one seems completely pointless. But surely I'll think of something I can do with it. Maybe I am supposed to fire Ganon into space? Probably not. Some monk would have told me, if so.

Or, maybe its only purpose is to make me feel like a powerful wizard. That's probably it.

Anyway, this has probably been the awesomest week I have had since I woke up. Let's keep it rolling.

Day 130

I have been practicing with my new ice tossing power. I used it to defeat two robots. If you are fighting a robot in the water, you can toss them high into the sky, and far away. One of them simply vanished in a puff of magic, mid-air - i don't know why. The other is far out to sea, underwater - its laser cannot fire through the water and it cannot crawl up onto the shore, since it is past a dropoff in the sea floor. So I guess that's just where it lives now.

I have been thinking a lot. My body is almost in top fighting shape now. I have to train my mind, somehow, so that Ganon's evil cannot twist it, or break it. But I don't know how to train my mind. I don't think it is like training your body. I bet, when I was a soldier, they trained my mind to be strong, and hard, like a knife. To follow orders, not break under pressure, stuff like that.

But, I don't think I can fight Ganon that way. He already beat Hyrule's entire army. No, I need the mind of a hero. I need to make me... more me. More alive.

How do I do that? I looked back at my first journals, and I have come far. I have remembered a lot. But I think it is not right, to only try to remember.

Actually it is good to forget some things. I don't think it is good to stay always silent, like I used to. And I don't think it is good to follow orders anymore, because nobody can give them to me. But, I also need to live. I am the most me when I am feeling, like, joy, and wonder. It is hard to feel those things, with Hyrule as it is now. But I have seen and done some wondrous things.

I feel joy when I can help people out, and when I master feats of strength, or courage, or cleverness - like just now, when I fought those robots. I feel joy when I talk to people - especially happy people, like Sebasto and Kiana, my friends in Lurelin Village. I feel wonder when I touch the divine - like the rituals with the dragons, or when I pray to the goddess Hylia, or when I climb a mountain and look upon all the lands that Hylia protects. Or, when I investigate a mystery, like a scientist, and learn of the ancient peoples - the ancient Sheikah, or whoever came before them.

And I need, one day soon, to face what happened to me and the princess, to find the location of that last photograph. It will be soon, but I am not yet ready. I think it is important to say so - because I am more afraid of what I will remember than I am of Ganon.

So, I guess none of those challenges are in shrines, really, but it also really seems like I am being led to them. That is what I must do next, to train my mind.

Weird.

Maybe I'll also do some more shrines. Just to kinda keep it rolling.

Day 131

Okay, so this is going pretty well.

I have seen on my slate that there was an ancient labrynth in the sea, in North Akkala. I flew to it, and found my way to its center, where there was a shrine. Below the shrine, there was a powerful artifact - a travel medallion, guarded by a horde of robots. The medallion lets me teleport to a place of my choosing (not just shrines). I have set this medallion at the sanctum of Hyrule Castle, where the princess is fighting Ganon, so that when she calls me, I can be there in seconds. I did it quickly, before his magic could get to me - I stayed outside, out of the castle, dodging robot lasers and swimming up waterfalls using the magical armor that Princess Mipha crafted for me.

My original plan was to leave as soon as I could, but I thought I'd explore around the basement a little bit - the evil isn't nearly so thick down there and it's not so bad. I'm glad I did because I was running low on swords and stuff. Problem solved! I also found the old room where they used to do the combat trial to become one of the king's knights. Being there brought back some memories. To become a knight, you have to fight a huge bone monster. I did it again, for old times' sake. To my surprise, at the end of the fight, a chest appeared with this amazing shield in it - it's blue, and has the crest of Hyrule on it. It's super strong and extra shieldy, I guess. I don't really know how shields work, I just use 'em.

Then, I travelled to Kakariko village to buy some pumpkin - there is a little tree guy who lives on top of the Great Deku Tree, who wanted one. It was actually the answer to a riddle, but the riddle was like "I am a big orange squash from Kakariko Village. What am I?" so that is happening, I guess.

While in Kakariko, I borrowed young Koko's cooking pot, and made myself some Tabantha wheat crepes with a wildberry compote. That probably wasn't super important but it was super tasty - and I am trying to be true to myself, for training. If there is one thing in Hyrule which makes me me, it is snacks.

Then I left Kakariko and rode out onto the Rabia Plain, where I came upon the bard Kass. Kass sang me an ancient, mysterious song, which had been passed down from teacher to student through the years, whose words had long since passed from truths to stories, and then legends. Who can know the true meaning of such songs? This song said "Link, find a deer with big antlers, and ride it bareback onto that pedestal over there". So, I did that, and a shrine burst out of the ground.

I felt a sense of wonder and awe. My training is totally working.

Day 135

For the past days, I have been solving the troubles of the people in Gerudo town. I found a lost soldier, Barta, underneath the ancient skeleton in the Gerudo desert; I hunted a Molduga and gave the innards to a Gerudo woman, Malena, so she could cure her husband's illness, and I helped a little Gerudo girl, Dalia, start a wildberry garden. Stuff like that. It felt good to help. Chief Riju really appreciated it, and loaned me the Gerudo thunder helm, as a token of friendship and trust. Now lightning can't zap me.

While I was out in the desert, I took a picture of that big skeleton. I was talking to some scientists at Serenne stable, Onya, Akrah and Garshon. They need pictures of ancient bones so they can do ancient bone science. They do not seem to be as smart or devoted as the Princess, but they are definitely doing science - they have questions, impossible questions, and then they do impossible things and figure out the answers. They think they can figure out how why there aren't any more of those giant creatures, like the one in the desert. I actually came across two more of those skeletons - a while back - one in Hebra behind a big stone door, and one north of Death Mountain. I'll get pictures of those when I have a chance.

It is nice to help scientists. It brings back good memories, of quieter times with the Princess.

I also visited Rito Town - I was running low on wheat. Largely I had sorted out the troubles of the people there, to be honest, but I did learn of an ancient song the Rito sing. This one wasn't sung to me by the bard Kass - rather, it was a folk song that everyone knew! The song went "Link, set a fire on that pedestal at 12:35pm". You can see how it would catch on in schoolyards and stuff, because that's a great hook. Anyway, it made a shrine appear, to my undying surprise. The shrine had a diamond in it, which is pretty sweet.

Actually a lot of people want me to go take pictures of things, now that I think of it. A woman named Juanelle at Snowfield Stable needs a picture of some sort of... bone... horse? But I don't think that's for science. I think she just likes horses and bones. And there's a woman, Loone, who wants to see pictures of robots. I guess I'm the best person to help with this kind of stuff because I have the slate, and can make pictures really easily. Everyone else has to draw the pictures with a pen or something, which is too slow. I bet a lot of artists die of robots and bone horses.

I also fought a Lynel, in the Oseira plains. It was a challenge, but it was not beyond me. I can now think back, to that battle I fought on the slopes of Death Mountain to protect the princess, and kind of see how I did it. I am trying to be the Hero of Hyrule, bit by bit. Hero practice.

After that, I made an apple pie, because that is good for Heroes.

Day 140

I have roamed Hyrule, high and low. I found the treasure of the great bandit Misko, buried in a cave on Mount Floria. I have bested the trials of Eventide Island, where a monk steals your stuff and you have to beat up a huge monster with a boat oar. I have travelled to Lover's Pond atop Tuft Mountain and played the matchmaker. I climbed Gut Check Rock and won the admiration of the Goron Blood Brothers. I slayed a dozen robots guarding a forgotten temple in Tanagar Canyon, and paid homage to the goddess Hylia there. I have saved a Hateno shepherd's flock from monster raids and purchased pumpkins and shown people pictures of robots and raced sand seals through the Gerudo Desert, and so forth.

I stood naked on a pedestal on Washa's Bluff, under the blood moon, causing a shrine to burst forth from the earth. That was because of a song the bard Kass sang me, which went "Link, stand on the pedestal and take your clothes off when there's a blood moon" - the meaning of which has escaped scholars and bards alike since time immemorial.

I have tamed the descendent of Princess Zelda's horse, wandering the ruins of Sanidin Park in a thunderstorm, and outfitted him with his royal saddle and bridle, kept safe by the descendant of one of the King's stable hands for a century.

I am being such a hero of Hyrule right now.

The shepherd's name is Koyin, and she thinks I'm hot, by the way.

But tonight, I will travel to Satori Mountain, to try to catch a glimpse of the divine. I'm told that something wondrous happens at a spring there, on clear nights when the mountain itself glows an otherworldly green. That is happening now. We shall see what transpires.

In the meantime I'm harvesting an entire apple orchard. I keep dumping all my apples into my bike to keep it running.

Update 9:00pm: Satori Mountain is crowded with animals - deer, boar, birds... what is happening. And the gentle tinkling of bells is everywhere.

Update 11:00: I just spent a couple hours riding a mystical glowing steed. I think it was like a god that looked like a moose-owl-moth.

I'm going to try and write down what happened but it is totally pointless. Unless you have the experience yourself you can't understand it. You'll see what I mean.

He was standing in the center of the Satori Mountain spring, under a blooming cherry tree, ringed by the glowing blue bunnies with the feathery antennae that you sometimes see at night. He was clearly the same sort of being, a creature of spirit. I don't even really know why I sneaked up and got on his back - it just seemed as though it was a test. When I did, he bucked and bucked, but then relented. It had been a test, and I had passed.

I am not sure, but I think I heard his voice, in my mind - not clear, like Hylia or the monks or the princess, but barely perceptible. I think he said "Beloved." I don't know why he said that.

And then we rode across Hyrule. I don't think either of us really had a plan, we just rode and rode. He was fast - his footsteps echoed, even when there was nothing for them to echo from, and everywhere there was a gentle shimmering sound.

Within a few seconds I was suffused with a feeling of connectedness with something big and old, unimaginably big and unimaginably old. I wasn't connecting wtih my steed - something else, more like the land itself. It was like the feeling that I get when Hyrule is there for me, when I am hungry and I look up into a tree and there is an apple. Earlier in this diary I have called that "love", the love that Hylia, through Hyrule, has for me? I have felt it since I woke. So, it was like that, but much more present. I don't remember my own family at all, but I remember my friends Sebasto and Kiana from Lurelin, their love for one another and their love for their children Kinov and Zuta, all the passion and complexity and protectiveness and nurturing and companionship... it was like that. It was a lot.

And it was visual, too, if I let my awareness expand out a bit. It was tactile. I could see everything across Hyrule - I could see the forest, as though through the eyes of deer and boars and insects - like, in fragments, there was too much, all at once.

I could smell the musty earth, and I could taste its nutrients, drawing them up into myself as though I had roots. I could sense people's dreams, too, their thoughts and feelings. It was actual, specific people - Yunobo, Leekah, Barta, Teba, Jerrin, Bazz, Cottla... just, hundreds of people, their hopes, fears, loves, the soup they were cooking, everything in a huge torrent. I'm pretty sure I caught some of the thoughts of Bolson and Karson, as they slept on some hillside on their way to Akkala. Or, rather, they weren't exactly sleeping. But anyway I don't want to get sidetracked here. I mean to say I saw everything. I saw the great dragon Naydra, coiling in the sky, and I was the great dragon Naydra.

I even saw Ganon being beaten down by Princess Zelda's magic - he roiled out of his cocoon, like a drop of ink falling into water, and then he was was wrapped in austere light, and it pushed him back in. But you know the one person I didn't see? Princess Zelda. For fucks sake. The one person I actually wanted to see! I actually tried to call out to her, "Zelda! Princess!" But this wasn't really a space for words, it was really hard. I think I felt the edges of recognition, though - maybe even a feeling of joy? But the act of calling out sort of pushed everything else away - all that connectedness and love just flowed out, like an ebb tide. It was terrible, so I stopped, and Hyrule all came flooding back to me.

After what seemed like an eternity it felt like I was being asked to stop - so I did. I dismounted my mystic god-steed. He paused for a moment, and huffled. I think I heard his voice again, saying "Beloved" - just on the edge of my mind. Then he dashed off and vanished in a gentle tinkling of bells. And that was it - the whole experience was just gone. I was just some dude, standing at Sanidin Park ruins looking at a horse statue. I was kinda hungry. I started weeping, actually - I felt real grief that the ride was over.

What the fuck was all that about.

This whole experience makes me feel like I am not good at writing. I thought I was awesome at writing but I will never be able to explain this experience. Nobody will ever believe the words I am writing right now. I have so many questions and I'm just not going to get answers, am I? Nope. Already it's fading, like my mind doesn't have the strength to hold on to such an experience on its own.

I do know one thing, after thinking and thinking and writing and writing. Why did that moose moth god call me "beloved?" Well, I seldom know what's going on, but I'm basically 100% sure that's just what he thought my name was.

Day 141

Oh shit, the sun's coming up. I haven't slept.

Yeah, I just looked at the slate and it's like 5:00am - wow, I just sat by that stupid horse statue and wrote and thought for like 4 hours.

But I did want to add one thing - during that ride, I got a glimpse of a bigger perspective. I saw things as they really are, and I have come away with a clearer sense of my place in the order of things. So, here is what I need to do.

First off, I have a wedding to attend. I know, it seems weird to make space for that, but I am so completely certain, now, that this is how it should be.

Then, it is time for me to find that last photo that Princess Zelda took, and to accept whatever I learn there.

But then? Well, unless some other god needs me, I think then it may be time to head over to Hyrule Castle.

Day 144

I think maybe Hudson was waiting for me to show up before he started his wedding??? That's a little weird. But then, I guess me, Bolson and Karson were really the only people from out of town present - everyone else was basically the entire population of Tarrey Town, which were also all the people who made Tarrey Town, so it makes sense.

I am not gonna lie here - Rhondson and Hudson are a very unlikely couple! But, they seem happy. Marriage certainly isn't all good - I certainly know lots of people who are married, and maybe shouldn't be - like Rola and Cado in Kakariko village, the fletcher and the Cucoo farmer and guard. And I also know lots of people who are married and definitely should be, like Sebasto and Kiana, in Lurelin.

Which kind of couple are Rhondson and Hudson? Well, I don't care. I can't predict the future. I can celebrate something good and pure in this shit world - even under the looming threat of doom and evil. And that's what we did. The event itself was truly joyous. There is something wonderful here, that we take the time to publicly proclaim our love for one another and our commitment to community (and our compliance to various Bolson Construction policies, apparently).

The town bell, pealing joyfully after the ceremony, really cemented that feeling for me. It was like, Hear ye, hear ye - we are all the peoples of Hyrule, we've gone through Some Stuff but we're back, we're together, and we're bringing our love and community. Yes, we see you over there Ganon - we're gonna go ahead and celebrate brightness and beauty and perseverence and love anyway.

Actually, wait. Let's think a little bit here.

Months ago, it was just Hudson and his pals smashing rocks and building houses, with their town little more than a dream. I'd bring him wood occasionally, right? The entire landscape for miles around was covered with rusting robots and unmarked graves of a whole civilization. There were monsters all around. Every now and then, the freaking moon would erupt in blood. Evil would roil forth from every crack in the rock.

All that, and Hudson decided to just, you know, put that bell up there. Just in case there was something worth celebrating later. Just in case. Imagine that. Imagine the sheer audacity of hope it takes to do something like that. And he was right. I'm gonna fucking cry.

The priest Kapson called us all "dearly beloved" at the ceremony and I flashed back to my ride on Satori Mountain, where "Beloved" was my name, and I saw everything all connected, all of us working together, and it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever been part of. It was the same thing. All of us, together. Hyrule loves us.

Thinking back, I am sure that princess Zelda was part of that connection, too. I wonder if that's how her power works - I bet she is Hylia right now, kind of, and Hylia is all of us. The princess's job is to be the focus of all that sacred love and connectedness, using it to protect us all. That's what she had to do all along, that's how she can be so strong and keep fighting for a hundred years, it's our strength and vivacity and love.

I bet I nearly screwed her up when I called out to her during my ride, like that. Oops. Rookie mistake.

At that point I realized the ceremony was over, and I'd been standing around in Tarrey Town square, alone, staring up at that bell for like the past 10 minutes, literally thinking about how profound the words "is" and "we" are. I felt like a complete idiot. A dog was looking at me funny.

I had one measly little encounter with the divine. Now I'm gonna have to spend my whole life losing track of what I'm doing, going all distant, and trying to remember what it was like.

I thought I was gonna be done with remembering after I've made my way through this photo collection, and I could get back to hitting monsters and making stir-fry. Instead, I've made up fun, new things to forget. Fuck me.

Afterwards, Hudson and Rhondson gave me a bunch of leftover diamonds - gonna use that to fix up my anti-robot jewelry with Great Fairy magic, so I guess it's smooches time. And then the happy couple were all like "Isn't there something you should be doing? Someone... waiting for you?" My dearest dudes, I was having a moment. Don't you people have moments?

But they are right. It is time for me to learn what actually happened - to recover the last few of my memories, presumably leading to my own near-death.

Day 145

Everything continues to be a lot to handle.

I rode out late afternoon on my bike, from wetlands stable - I was waiting for the weather to clear, and it just didn't. Pouring rain. Which, it turns out, was appropriate, and probably helped me remember.

I crossed the Hylia River at Rebonae Bridge, and rode south to the Bottomless Swamp, where I was nearly knocked off my bike by a horrible memory. It was a memory of the princess and me, running as fast as we could. It was a brutally rainy day in my memories, too. The princess was dressed in her ridiculous prayer robe and sandals - she must have been freezing, and it was not the right gear for running, or fighting, or doing anything at all, really. Anyway, she'd tripped and fallen in the mud. In that moment, she was hit by the realization that Ganon had taken control of all the robots, and that everyone she knew and loved was dead. In fact I think that's why she tripped - it wasn't a rock or a stick, it was the brutal reality taking the wind out of her. She just collapsed into my arms, weeping.

I wanted to tell her no, it wasn't her fault, and even if it was it would be pointless to say so - but this all happened a hundred years ago, so the time to say that had long past. I remember being totally taken aback - I was in full combat mode, when suddenly, there was a grieving, sobbing princess in my arms. So I just knelt there, patting her on the back like a total dumbass. Zelda has always deserved so much better than she got, at every single step.

But, here's the thing: We were running south.

I wasn't sure at first, so I retraced our steps, looking for landmarks and things - there were a couple grassy knolls. I spent a long time at it - I'm soaked to the bone from the rain. But it is clear. We were headed south, in my memory.

Why were we headed south? That didn't make sense.

As I write this, I'm back at wetlands stable, staring at my map. I have been staring at it for 2 hours. This is really important, I have to figure out what happened.

We were at Lanayru road when Ganon returned. From there, we would have been running to Hyrule Castle, right? That was the plan. When he returned, me and the princess get to the castle to fight Ganon, the champions get into their beasts, we laser the bastard, I kick his ass the rest of the way, and then hopefully the princess figures out how to seal him away for another ten hundred years. That was the whole plan. There was no backup plan.

Why, in the name of Hylia and everything that is holy and sacred in this stupid land, were the princess and I running away from the castle?

Update 7:00pm

I keep turning the memory over in my head, time and again, and I just don't get it. I need to try to be like a scientist about it.

There is only one way we can have been running away from the castle - we must have already been there.

Or, rather, we got pretty close to the castle - but not too near, just near enough to see Ganon lift the robot-dispensing pillars out of the earth and murder everyone in Castle Town. Otherwise, we would have been robotted in Castle Town like everyone else. And I'm guessing that from there we'd been able to see him take control of the divine beasts, too, and just lock the champions in there. I remember the princess saying as much.

That means that Zelda probably witnessed a massacre firsthand, with her own two eyes, and unlike me she remembers it very, very clearly. I'll have to remember that for the future. That will be hard for her.

So, there's only one reason we could have been running from the Castle: we were running for our lives. Princess Zelda still hadn't awakened her power - she said as much, in between sobs.

And that all means that I had given up the fight on Ganon at that moment. In other words, I'd assessed that it was better to keep the princess from danger, rather than try to stop Ganon's army. That means Hyrule was lost at that point - we must have had no realistic options. Heavy stuff.

I am thankful that I have no memory of the destruction of Castle town and the central plains. There were a lot of people there, it's where basically all of us lived. About nineteen Hylians out of twenty, one might say.

But also: I don't understand. That's all the photos on the slate. Is that all the memories that I get? What did awaken the princess's power?

I need to sleep on this, and then talk to Impa. I need to understand what happened.

Actually, I've got a feeling everything is about to come to a head. That means I'm about to see Princess Zelda and we're about to defeat Ganon. I'd better bake a fruitcake. Maybe I can think a little more, as I work with my hands.

I'd better bake 3 fruitcakes, so that the princess can have the best one.

Day 146

Stayed up probably too late baking fruitcakes, but it produced excellent results - light and fluffy, but also full-flavored. So I slept a little late, and then travelled to Kakariko.

Lady Impa has shown me a picture - but not one taken on the slate. It's a painting, hanging in her house.

Lady Impa said that Zelda's last instruction was to make sure that I found the location of that painting once I'd found all the other pictures. I guess the princess hadn't taken a picture on the slate - Lady Impa had a Sheikah artist make a painting, standing in the place where I fell, with the idea that this would likely trigger my memory. It's a clever idea.

The place where I fell - as I have long suspected - was a picture of a specific spot in Blatchery Plain. It was a small area circled by wrecked robots. I set out immediately on my bike to find it - it was actually in the center of the plain, not right at the gates of Fort Hateno as I had thought.

I am there now. Now I will stand here, and try to remember.

Update 11:00am I REMEMBER.

I had been gravely wounded, by fighting fifty robots at the same time. My sword was all chipped and blackened, and I was barely able to stand.

Another robot caught sight of me with its laser eye; I was about to sacrifice myself to save the princess. But instead, the princess saved me. She elbowed me out of the way, sternly told the robot "NO" as though it was a dog that had gotten up on the sofa, and then a sphere of blazing light erupted all around us, turning off every robot on Blatchery Plain. I saw Ganon's evil being driven from them like mist before the wind.

The princess was baffled - she had no idea what she had done - and then I started to fade. I barely remember her talking with the Master Sword - which can I suppose speak, when it wants to. It was the Sword's idea to stuff me into the Shrine for 100 years to heal, and for the Princess to fight Ganon in the castle alone.

Now, finally, it is clear what happened. The princess took my sword, went to Kakariko to give Lady Impa her instructions, and then went to the great Hyrule Forest to put the sword back into its pedestal to heal magically, shutting off robots as she went. I could probably retrace her path by looking for the big trail of fully intact, but motionless, robots.

Update, 11:30am. Well I just got the word from the Princess - she spoke to me in my mind. She said "Link, you have recovered all your memories of us from 100 years ago. I am here, inside Hyrule Castle. It is time for you to defeat Ganon."

Well, that's clear enough - that's the "go" signal I was wating for. I've got that travel medallion placed right where I need to go, I have all my rejuvenating snacks and big swords and stuff, and I've got our victory fruitcake. I think that's all I need.

And yet, the princess' request suggested that I could take a little time to prepare, she didn't say "drop everything and get here now". That is good - I don't need to prep, but I do need to think something through first. It's maybe really important.

I get that Zelda is the goddess Hylia, that the goddess Hylia is Hyrule and everyone and everything in it, all interconnected. Zelda, Hylia and Hyrule are all the same thing. Zelda praying to Hylia was like... talking to herself. Pointless.

I get that Zelda's power is a power to protect, to heal, and to love. All three of THOSE are the same, too. Her power wasn't going to awaken until she had to do those things.

I get all that. Some of the parts are hard to swallow, but I have experienced the truth of them firsthand, daily, since I woke.

So, why was it me, my near-death, that awakened that power? That's the one thing I just don't get. It doesn't make any sense.

I'm just a soldier, like the thousands and thousands of other soldiers who died that day. I mean, probably fifty good men died within two minutes and within fifty paces of where I fell. I know now that the princess would have seen each and every one of those deaths as her fault. She was utterly crushed by each and every life lost.

And yet, none of that loss of life helped awaken her power. The thing which Zelda needed was to save my life. If I'd known this earlier, I would have been throwing myself in harm's way continuously.

Why was it me?

I guess I can just ask the princess, in a few minutes.

Or, actually, having thought about it for 8 seconds: Maybe I'd better give her the fruitcake first and THEN ask her. It's an awfully personal question.

I have to go. I probably won't write anything else in here until after the fight, unless I train myself at fighting while writing. That'd be epic.

Field Notebook Entry

Author: Princess Zelda
Date: 100/8/15 AC
Location: Wetland Stable
Activity: Defeating Calamity Ganon; botanical research
Personnel: Myself, Link

Narrative Description: I can hardly believe it, but this is the first entry I have made in my field notes for one hundred years. The first thing I have written at all in the same span, in fact.

To write this, Link gave me a few pages, torn from the back of his diary. Can you believe it, Link has started journalling! Link! I confess I was not sure that he knew how to read --- and, true to form, I never worked up the courage to ask him (and I would have literally died of embarrassment, regardless of what I learned). As with everything else, he takes his writing deadly seriously. I am sure he is becoming an excellent writer.

I will have plenty to say about my century-long struggle with Ganon, and all the rest of that sordid business, but honestly I cannot bear to think on it any more. That is a task for another day.

We are at a stable of sorts, and the sounds of joyous carousing are all around us. All of Hyrule is sorely ready for a celebration! But, it quickly became too much for me, and also for Link, who prefers solitude. Indeed, Link and I have stolen away from the party to just... write. Just for a little while. Oh, but I feel the weight of the years lifting with every word I put to the page.

After sealing Ganon away, Link and I re-entered the ruins of Hyrule castle for a few essentials --- a satchel, and some changes of clothes for me, and some proper quill pens (Link doesn't know how to use them --- he prefers a pencil --- but I can help with that). My notebooks and diary were all, sadly, mildewed and in no fit condition for further use --- it will be the work of an archivist to restore them, but they can be saved yet. Curiously, at some point in the last century, someone seems to have reviewed my notes on ancient technology. The book was not as I left it. But my diary remained on my writing desk, unopened, thankfully! I left it there. Another task for another day.

My room and study were in absolute ruins, but I did manage to find most of the important things --- even my old riding outfit, precisely in the wardrobe where I left it. It was miraculously spared the fate of the books, due to the sheer excellence of Hylian carpentry. It could have gone another century. I shall need to change into it shortly. I would have been happy to burn that horrid old prayer robe, which I have been wearing for a century --- but in the end I kept it, thinking that it may yet have some historical value.

Oh, and Link baked me a fruitcake, in a pot, somehow! He barely remembers anything, but is a remarkable cook --- and a genuine and kind soul. I have missed him so terribly. We sat in the ruins of the old dining hall and ate the fruitcake - my favorite, since I was a little girl. And this one was the best I had ever had.

Afterwards, we passed quickly through the ruins of poor, poor Castle town --- I cannot bear to think long upon the horror of it --- and made our way on foot to this stable, which Link tells me is named Wetlands Stable. I don't think it existed, in my time. My childhood. Last century --- oh goodness, how am I even to talk about anything. The language simply lacks the words for Link's and my experiences.

Link has found two horses --- one the very spitting image of my beloved old stallion that Link has named Storm ("because I caught him in a storm", says Link sagely), the other a dopey, gentle beast that he has named Wildberry ("because he is pink"). In due time we will proceed to Kakariko village, up Sahasra Slope and into the foothills of the Pillars of Levia --- the ancient, weathered massif landform encircling Kakariko village. Hopefully we will reach Kakariko before nightfall. In Kakariko, we will celebrate with Lady Impa, I hope. After that, I am not sure what we will do.

However, dear reader, I have a truly monumental and important scientific record to make: I have learned of a new species of plant.

Plant Discovery: Brightbloom

Location: The well at Wetlands Stable. To be clear, I went down the well, on a rickety ladder, and thus my reviled prayer gown is completely soaked. AGAIN.

Mode of Discovery: In truth, I purchased a seed from a travelling salesman with a large backpack; he told me where I can find the plant itself. Er, actually Link purchased it for me, I should say, as I did not think to bring back any money from the castle. I suppose I shall have to start thinking of such things! I am certainly unused to being unrecognizable as royalty.

Habitat: The organism was growing underground in the corners of the well's chamber, in a cold, dark environment --- but in a drier, rocky part of the cave, with little soil.

Appearance: The leaves are pinnate, growing perhaps 0.8m long and perhaps twenty centimetres wide. They are a rich forest green and reddening towards the tips. There is a single stalk, which in the larger specimens grows close to 1.5 metres tall, with a single blossom which glows very brightly --- so brightly I could not make out its details to describe it further; there are upwards of twenty sepals protecting the blossom. On mature plants, in place of the stalk and blossom, there is a single large seed, close to 0.2 m long, with an enlarged elaiosome tapering to a point. The seeds are pale green and faintly glowing. I was warned to treat the seed gently, as it is apparently able to explosively grow into a fully formed (and painfully bright) plant when disturbed.

Further comments: How did we miss this beautiful, and useful, species in our botanical studies a century ago? I have never heard of them from any of the royal botanists --- was Ganon suppressing their growth? Could it be that none of us ever went down a well? Or perhaps the plant was too common to make note, as we were always focused on endangered species. I am embarrassed that I never talked to the common folk of Hyrule enough to know the answers to these questions --- what an oversight for a scientist to make, in hindsight! Here I am, madly penning my observations in my logbook about a "new" plant that a lovely gentleman named Beedle has been selling out of a rucksack for Hylia knows how many years. Of course, in my youth (ha!) such a conversation could never have been possible, but as I mentioned above, it has been a hundred years since anyone has seen me, so nobody seems to recognize me now... hm, further food for future thought, I suppose.

Later I hope to take more time to make botanical observations, but we cannot keep dear Impa waiting. Impa has always been a great warrior, and wise beyond her years. She will surely know now what we need to do. So, it is past time to put down my pen. I can barely keep my eyes open and yet we have miles to travel; I am soaked with well water, and would change nothing --- nothing except perhaps my outfit; I do not to want to ride a horse in a wet prayer dress.

Let us now set out for Kakariko.

---

Day 146, continued

update, 3:00pm. The princess and I handed Ganon his ass. It was awesome. Then we ate fruitcake. That was also awesome. I'll write more later. We're in the castle, the princess is getting some stuff from her old room, and - oops, she's done, gotta go.

Update: 4pm. We are at are at Wetlands stable. Everybody is congratulating us and drinking wine and hollering.

The fight was actually kind of easy. Ganon burst out of his cocoon - the princess said her magic wasn't strong enough to contain him, but I didn't mind. I really didn't want to have to saw through that nasty cocoon. It was like a massive purple nutsack. Anyway, Ganon took the form of a stupid giant lobster with a beard, because he is boring, and - hang on, princess needs guarding.

Update: 4:30pm. Right, where was I? Oh right, ass-beating. Yeah, so after the champions lasered Ganon, I hit him with my sword a bunch and fired like 37 ancient arrows at him with a multishot bow I took off that Lynel. I think Ganon was trying to use his magic to twist my mind but I filled my mind with thoughts of hope and love and - oops, it is princess time again.

Update: 4:50pm. The princess and I are hiding behind the stable, in a stack of firewood, so I can write in my diary and she can write about science.

After I defeated Ganon he took the form of a giant boar, rampaging on Hyrule Field. There, the princess and I fought Ganon together. She gave me a magic bow and arrows, which I used to weaken Ganon. Eventually he was weakened enough that the princess could seal him away. She made a giant glowing golden balloon of pure light around Ganon that went "Zworp" and then shrunk away to nothing. And, just like that, everything was quiet. We had won.

Everyone at the stable is already too drunk to notice we have left the party. I haven't had a drop because now I am on princess guarding duty. It is great. The Great Deku tree said that the princess has a smile like the sun - I thought it was a corny thing to say at the time, but he was totally right. I guess a tree would know what the sun is like.

Nobody knows the princess at all, or even knows how to act around a princess. It is weird. It will be good to introduce her to everyone - Paya, Dorian, Koko, Cottla, Cado, Lasli... But to do that we will have to reach Kakario by nightfall. We are trying to see Lady Impa.

We'll take horses. I don't think I am going to tell the Princess about the bike just yet. When she finds out about the bike, she is going to try to do science. It isn't safe.

The princess - Zelda, she keeps reminding me to call her - is as badass as I had imagined, she is so cool. She asked, after the fight, if I remembered her. It was good to be able to say yes. Though there are still huge gaps and many things I do not know.

I didn't ask Zelda why my near-death unlocked her sealing power - or what it was she wanted to tell me, as she placed the sword in its pedestal before the Great Deku Tree. I will ask her later. Maybe. Those now seem like awfully big questions. I'm quite done with big stuff for a bit. Actually I think both of us just want to do small easy things for a while - probably for as long as we can. We'll see how long everyone lets us get away with it.

I bought Zelda some weird plant seed from Beedle. She likes plants. He was just going to give it to me but I insisted, he works hard for his living. Zelda was so excited about the seed that she disappeared down the stable well to get more. Scientists are weird.

There is less time to write in my journal now. I have to guard the princess, but if it is quiet, when she is writing in her science notebook, I can write too. Then we can both write at the same time. It is nice. She writes fast though. I wonder if there is a kind of training I can do to write faster.

Oops, looks like we're leaving. Off to Kakariko - and then, the rest of our lives! Everything is awesome.