Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Welcome to Blue Lock Confessions, where all submissions are anonymous! Who knows who will see the posts and reply… Shall we listen? Shall we judge? Guess you’ll have to find out soon enough!

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PXG V.S Bastard Munchen

How come the match has been dragging out for so fucking long?! What happened to Isagi’s dumbass plot armor, shooting a goal for himself??? C’mon guys this match has to be won by some team at this point I don’t even care who scores, Ness, Kaiser, or even freaking Karasu is fine by me!!! I’m gonna be in college by the time this stupid arc is over…

SpinningBee: hahahahahahahahahahahahhah 

Ego’sFavorite: Don’t worry!!! I’ll make sure we score the last goal even at the cost of my ego!!

WiltedRose: Literally shut the fuck up Isagi no one expects you to score the last goal especially with such a lame ass username. 

EgosFavorite: :(

SpinningBee: LMFAO

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Blue Lock is Ruining My Love Life

Guys guys is this really stupid or am I supposed to just let my boyfriend fill up his room full of Chigiri merch knowing that he’s a man?? Like I know my bf is straight since he’s dating me, but the fact that Chigiri is on his home screen and not me is really making me start to doubt his sexuality. Should I ask? Should I tell him I think he’s a little fruity??? What do I do?????????

SoccerHero: Your bf has good taste in men 👍👍

LazyChoki: @RedPanther

RedPanther: ???? Why’d you @ me???

MikageReo: LMFAO Chigiri you should start modeling for Victoria’s Secret I’ll even sponsor you

RedPanther: ofc you would reply under ur bf’s comment u gayass freak 

MikageReo: ?? SHUT THE FUCK UP

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Do BLLK Players Play Anything Else Than Soccer?

I had this question pop up in my head ever since I learned Hiori liked playing games… Do you guys possibly know the specific types of games he plays? Like does he play shooters, RPGs, or maybe even dating simulator ones? Do other blue lock players also play games?

CrowAssassin: That guy plays more games than he practices I swear. Back in high school he would even lie about bathroom breaks just to play his goddam shooter games in the soccer storage room

GamingSheep: KARASU TABITO LIKES TO PLAY DATING SIMS WHEN HE HAS FREE TIME!!! IT’S TRUE I ONCE CAUGHT HIM PLAYING ENSEMBLE STARS!!

CrowAssassin: WHY THE FUCK DID U EXPOSE ME U BITCH?? ALSO IT'S NOT A DATING SIM U ASSHOLE IT'S AN IDOL RAISING GAME THAT YOU LITERALLY TOLD ME TO DOWNLOAD???

GreenNinja: LMFAO I bet his favorite is the waterboy guy from enstars since his hair is similar to Hiori’s 

CrowAssassin: literally kys u thought mayoi was a girl at first also isn’t ur name literally stolen from pokemon??? Start being original before talking to me gosh 

GreenNinja: I’m gonna hit on u 

GamingSheep: What type of lame threat is that…

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FEMLOCK PLS PLS PLS??????? PLSSSS ARGGG

Everyday, every moment, every second I am thinking of femlock. There is not a moment when I’m not thinking about the hot men I see on soccer TV being girls instead. The addiction has gotten so bad to the point where I’ll even talk about the players using she/her pronouns instead. If only there were femlock instead…

GreenNinja: Couldn’t agree more

#1Gentleman: Are you sure you aren’t just gay Otoya?

#3Gentleman: Literally he hits on more girls and BOYS compared to me. I bet one dollar he’s 70% fruity.

SalmonFox: Are you sure you aren’t just as gay Oliver?

#3Gentleman: I’m gonna barge into ur home Sendou.

ItoshiSae: You guys are simply disguting. Wasn’t the confession about blue lock to begin with? What r u losers even commenting for. 

HotPinkMonster: HAHA! I bet they’re all just jealous of how beautiful us blue lockers came out of the womb looking like!!!

SalmonFox: why tf is he always using female anatomy like he’s a woman himself

#1Gentlemen: Fitting. Maybe he’s the femlock the owner of the post was looking for. 

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Blue Lock Auras in 2025

Look I get it that the auras are TV edited and for cool effects but really, green? Like I can handle purple, white, brown, but why’s it gotta be green…? It makes Isagi look like he’s constantly farting or something

BlueRose: @WiltedRose Don’t tell me they also edited our match with stupid ass auras too 

WiltedRose: Do you want me to hold your hand when I say this…?

BlueRose: Yes…? Who else but you gets to hold my hand?

EgosFavorite: HE’S ASKING IF YOU TRULY DIDN’T KNOW U ILLITERATE FUCK UGH GET OFF MY FYP U FREAKS

HorrorMovies: this is the funniest post anyone has ever written omfg thank you for this 

EgosFavorite: Kys.

HorrorMovies: Not only do ur farts stink, so does your foul mouth too, it seems.

WiltedRose: I love blue lock confessions

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BlueLock to FruitLock?

If blue lock players were assigned fruits, who do you think would be? In my head Bachira’s a mango, Chigiri’s a passionfruit, and Kunigami is Cantaloupe!! What do ya’ll think?

HorrorMovies: Isagi is an apple because apples fucking suck.

GamingSheep: The hate on apples is insane?? Otherwise I like to think I’m a blueberry myself.

HorrorMovie: you're right, I'm sorry. I meant to say isagi is a tomato because tomatoes suck. Also blueberries are my favorite fruit from now on.

GamerSheep: I guess that’s a little better :).

SpinningBee: YAY!!!! I loooooooove mangos this is so awesome!!!

SoccerHero: Cantaloupes are good for the mind and body, so I’ll gladly accept this new assignmnet upon me with joy!!

MikageReo: Is it just me or was I NOT thinking about real actual fruits when I read the title of this confession…

RedPanther: pack it up guys reo finally confessed he’s a fucking fruit, now we can go home without his stupid complaints about his sexuality again!

MikageReo: im gonna steal all ur beauty products away. Have fun being ugly from now on

RedPanther: and then what? Use them for urself? I bet nagi would really like seeing u all prettied up especially on his bed

MikageReo: why r we even friends again

LazyChoki: he’s not wrong…

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Hear ME Out

Kk guys no judging at all but like don’t ya think Barou from blue lock is like lowkey rlllly hot??? It can’t just be me guys because like the maid commercial he did recently rlly made the cafe as busy as ever! I tried to go once but the line was so freaking long….maybe barou fans other than me truly exist out there!! If so please become moots with me!! Barou nation rise!!!

LazyChoki: ew no…

MikageReo: woah first time i’ve ever seen u be so active online

RedPanther: C’mon guys lets be nice now…barou doesn’t deserve all this hate now does he?

EgosFavorite: he oh so fucking does.

SoccerHero: can’t say the hate is deserved but that also applies to the loving fans too…

GamingSheep: Baro! Baro! Kyun!

HorroMovies: that guy has no talent for soccer anyways he should just be a maid full-time

CrowAssassin: heh honestly can’t believe that guy can pull any girls. His hair is even more pointy than mine lol

GreenNinja: r u implying that u get no girls lmfao 

#1Gentleman: its true i heard he even called hiori erotic once so lowk how is he even straight atp

CrowAssassin: hey as long as I don’t pull anyone who likes barou then I’m fine with em

GreenNinja: lololol appreciate the barou hate 

SharkBait: Baro! Baro! Kyun!

BreakItDown: Baro! Baro! Kyun!

SpinningBee: woahhhh I’ve seen that ad before!!! Teebee Barou really looked good in a skirt didn’t he

KingOfTheCourt: FUCKING KILL YOURSELF ALL OF YOU NEED TO DIE IM GONNA FIND WHERE U ALL LIVE AND KILL U ALL

HotPinkMonster: Baro! Baro! Kyunnnnn!!!

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BLUE LOCK FOUND FAMILY??

Ever since shidou said i love you in french to charles i just can't stop thinking about it platonically. Familial even! Like shidou has never said i love u before esp when he likes to show his umm….’lovey’ side with other certain vocabulary… (esp with sae itoshi). It's just the fact that he said i love you this time that just screams platonic to me and goshhh i love them sm!! 

ChesireCat: @HotPinkMonster HAHA LOOK!! THE FANS MUST THINK UR MY MOM OR SOMETHING LOLOLOL

HotPinkMonster: KYAHAHHA!! WHO DO THEY THINK I AM? SHOULD I START READING U BEDTIME STORIES NEXT TIME WE’RE ON FIELD OR SMTH

ChesireCat: OMG YES PLS??? CAN U READ ALICE IN WONDERLAND THAT’S MY FAV STORY!!!

HotPinkMonster: LMAO SURE BET WE COULD STILL BEAT ALL THESE SCAREDY CAT LOSERS EVEN IF I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF YA LIKE A BABY THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE MATCH

ChesireCat: LMAO LOOKING FORWARD TO IT THEN DAD!!

ItoshiSae: they are not beating the allegations are they 

ChesireCat: OMG HI!!!! WOULD U LIKE TO BE MY MOM??

HotPinkMonster: HEY CUTIE ;))))

ItoshiSae: sure.

OwnerOfThePost: OMFG??????????? AHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

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Assumptions???

Sooooo I recently got into blue lock and found out that basically all the info ya’ll fans spread around are like completely non-cannon??? Like all of these are head-cannons?? Like when did Isagi ever confirm that he was ###### with Bachira? When did Yukimiya actually get plastic surgery??? And how come Kaiser is always characterized as a #######????????

EgosFavorite: why r so many of these censored?? What did i do to bachira??? Did i like murder him or smth??

SpinningBee: wdym isagi they clearly stated that u ##### me!

EgosFavorite: Why is it censored for me then?? Also if u say it then i cant read it bc its censored for u too

RedPanther: Cmon isagi it clearly says that u ######

EgosFavorite: okay guys if u just say it it’ll still be censored for me. Did someone mess with my phone??? How come i can’t see the word???

SoccerHero: Dang Isagi…why would u ever do that to bachira? 

EgosFavorite: Do what??? Can someone explain it to me without saying the word directly??? Also i promise i didnt do any weird stuff to him!

LazyChoki: woah isagi don’t u think #### bachira is a little to far? 

EgosFavorite: ….im gonna kms

WiltedRose: KAISER IS A WHAT NOW??????

EgosFavorite: r u freaking with me how come when someone talks shit about kaiser for the first time its censored for me ughhhh

WiltredRose: literally go kys cant believe u ##### ur own teammate bro 

EgosFavorite: ???? WHAT IS THE CENSORED WORD BRUH

#1Gentleman: the only plastic surgery i need rn is for my eyes and if i cant even get that then wtf are these accusations for….

#3Gentleman: its cuz u don’t deserve that username now give it to me

EgosFavorite: WERE U THE ONE TO MAKE THIS POST?? R U SPREADING HARMFUL LIES ABOUT ME??? 

#3Gentleman: shut it u freaking #####

EgosFavorite: ……

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FanMail? FanHelp? FanConfused..

Do any of the blue lock members accept fanmail? I recently wanted to send a gift to my favorite blue locker but I just can’t seem to find how to do it…help please? 

Genius: sure my address is *********

MikageReo: …..

LazyChoki: r u fucking stupid

RedPanther: ain’t no way

SoccerHero: how’d you guys ever survive with him on your team…

MikageReo: there’s a reason why our duo name is NagiReo and NOT ZantetsuNagiReo…

GreenNinja: Sure i can help u accept ur mail u just have to ask me out on a date and i’ll be right there to recieve it ;))))

#1Gentleman: what if the owner of the post is a man 

GreenNinja: I’ll gladly be the bottom then ;))))

GreenNinja: WTF?? I DID NOT MEAN TO SEND THAT OMFG FORGET WHAT I JUST SENT ABOVE ^^^ FUCKING KARASU TOOK MY PHONE THAT HOE 

CrowAssassin: LMFAOOO

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Blue Lock Fanservice 

How much for wildcard Kunigami to flash me?

RedPanther: god forgive me for whatever image just popped up into my mind

LazyChoki: @MikageReo do you have a fancy machine that can erase memories?

MikageReo: sorry love..if i did then i also wouldn’t be as trumatised as u right now..

SpinningBee: what does flash mean?? Does it mean taking off all ur clothes?? Woah didn’t know kunigami also liked being naked after a shower too!!!

EgosFavorite: bachira u need to watch what u say online…

GamingSheep: is he really that hot? Wildcard kunigami kinda scared me lowk..

HorrorMovies: no.

BreakItDown: i would be more concerned that ur asking if he’s hot rather than the questionability of the confession…

SharkBait: what happened to BLLK confessions being about Blue lock…this is so sad sad

WiltedRose: does this kunigami guy have a rose tattoo too or smth?

BlueRose: and if he did?

WiltedRose: sorry Michael I thought i was on my personal account…

SoccerHero: THE ANSWER IS NO. IDK WHY NO ONE ELSE WAS STAYING ON TOPIC BUT THE ANSWER IS NO IM A MINOR!!! Also please watch would u guys say online my little sisters could see…

RedPanther: dont be a pussy send a pic in our DMs rn. we gotta confirm if ur actually worth any money after all right? 

SoccerHero: ur not helping…

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Blue Lock → World Lock?

Can blue lock become a universal thing?? Like i would totally die to see other aspiring soccer players to join the facility. It seems like so much fun to play soccer all day long without having to do school work!! Plus I think Kaiser would look so goood in the blue uniforms :))

SparklingKira: NO NEVER AGAIN. BLUE LOCK IS A HELL FACILITY MADE TO RAISE MONSTERS AND UGLY FREAKS 

RedPanther: woah who tf put a stick up ur ass?

LazyChoki: can u blame him tho? The facility isn’t heaven either

  MikageReo: i second that, ego as a coach is NOT for the weak

EgosFavorite: haha imagine 

GamingSheep: idk about that…i mean the food was nice if you played well and its not like ego was constantly monitoring our movements (unlike some certain parents..)

CrowAssassin: who r u to talk when u literally steal my food all the time…

HorrorMovies: sure. Make it worldwide. It’ll just give me more joy when I crush all the soccer weaklings on the field.

HotPinkMonster: bleh that stupid facility could just barely hold all my explosions. Plus they didn’t even have itoshi sae! The man with the ugly ass bowl cut was a bitch to deal with too

GreenNinja: sure if that means girls can start joining the program too

BreakItDown: no privacy so no.

SharkBait: no no it felt like a death game 

WiltedRose: Kaiser?? In a blue lock uniform????? Do u want me dead??

BlueRose: Me? In a blue lock uniform? In those ugly things? Hello no. Do you want me to kill someone??

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Usernames

Ya’ll real lucky that these confessions are anonymous btw. Like I be going on other social medias and ya’ll usernames be like “Kaisers_left_cheek” Girl which cheek??? I even once had someone follow me with the user “Saes_foot_tickler” what tf is wrong with ya’ll…

ItoshiSae: my what now.

HotPinkMonster: aww cmon how can someone else beat me to it?

ChesireCat: i dont think u should be saying that dad…mom might get mad at u

HotPinkMonster: nahhh he loves me to much to do that right?

ItoshiSae: changing my username to ShidousMurderer right now.

WiltedRose: DELETE THIS POST RIGHT NOW OMFG. IF KAISER SEES THIS THAN I’M SO FUCKING DEAD WHY DID U EVEN NAME DROP U COULD’VE JUST LEFT IT ANON???

RedPanther: girly u could’ve left ur comment anon now everyone knows ur the one behind the weird username u freak 

WiltedRose: dangit cmon guys?? It’s not even a dirty joke i was just saying i’m his left cheek yk…NOT the inappropriate one

MikageReo: sure go ahead play innocent..it’s not like that’s creepy as hell or anything..

BlueRose: why the left one and not the right one Ness? Is my right one deformed or smth?

WiltedRose: im gonna go die now

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Oh boy am I hooked

WHO IS THE WOMAN THAT SITS THERE NEXT TO EGO DURING HIS SPEECHES??? SHE’S STUNNING????? OMFG ANYTHING TO BE WITH HER AHHHHHH!!!! IS SHE A SOCCER PLAYER??? IS SHE EGO’S WIFE??? I SURE HOPE NOT BC SHE CAN BE MY WIFE INSTEAD!!!!

GlamourANT: She is quite ✨ glam ✨and ✨beautiful ✨ must i say 

Genius: ✨ may ✨I ✨ ask ✨why ✨ we ✨ are ✨ using ✨ sparkles ✨ to ✨communicate ✨ now ✨ ?

GlamourAnt: fuck off ❤️❤️

GreenNinja: srry gals and guys and thots but she’s mine

#3Gentleman: not with those looks…

GreenNinja: WHAT

CrowAssassin: thank u he needed to be told that 

SpinningBee: isn’t anri so amazing??!!! Not only is she pretty she's also very strong id like to play against her in soccer one day!!

#3Gentleman: heh I’ll let her kick my balls for sure

SalmonFox: ur gonna be removed from captain position if u keep saying stuff like that

#3Gentleman: awww is someone jealous ;)?

SalmonFox: with ur pickup lines? Hell no now I see why anri is coaching those blue lock brats rather than us

#3Gentleman: I’ll let u kick my balls too :))

SalmonFox: u pmo.

RedPanther: ugh u guys are literally missing the point like anri is clearly single 

SoccerHero: idk man she literally cooks and cleans for ego 

MikageReo: yeah kuni’s got a point she kinda does act like his wife

LazyChoki: isnt she employed by ego tho?

EgosFavorite: that is a crazy hot take she’s clearly the one who hired him

EgosBoss: I’m gonna lock all of you guys off tomorrow. (except aryu ofc)

GlamourANT:  ✨ always such wise choices m’lady ✨

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Just A Thought 

You guys ever wonder if the actual blue lock players use this site to complain about each other? Like what if they secretly talk shit behind each others back…OMG what if they use the website to send codes about future game formations and betray one another’s team???

RedPanther: gosh i wonder where ive heard this story before… 

EgosFavorite: girly u weren’t doing much for the team during that time either…

RedPanther: i’m gonna rip ur wig off isagi.

SoccerHero: k guys lets not fight we’d be proving the confessor’s post if we did otherwise…

Thunderaichi: @KuonKlown HAHA HOW’S LIFE OUT THERE WITHOUT SOCCER U FUCKING UGLY CLOWN

SoccerHero: ….

MikageReo: is this post about the guy with a McDonald haircut who tried to betray team Z?

LazyChoki: what even is a Mcdoanld haircut…

MikageReo: yk where his bangs make an M shape that also reveals his wide ass forehead 

LazyChoki: ohhhh that makes sense must be why he spilt all his team’s secrets then 

RedPanther: LMFAO??? (dont u literally also have one too reo..)

MikageReo: shut up omfg

KuonKlown: WHY WOULD THIS POST EVEN BE ABOUT ME I’M NOT EVEN IN BLUE LOCK ANYMORE?? ALSO I CAN STILL READ WHAT YALL SAY ABOUT ME ONLINE..

Thunderaichi: good now go ##### and ##### urself and ##### u ###

EgosFavorite: ain’t no way what I did to bachira is as bad as what Raichi is saying about kuon right now wtf

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Blue Lock x ???

Ever wonder what collabs blue lock could do? Im always filled with the hope that one day ego will allow the blue lockers to do ad campaigns with other famous brands…like if we can get maid barou why cant we have sonic isagi?!? That would be like the coolest collab ever!!

GamingSheep: did kurona write this post

SharkBait: why would you ever think think that?

BreakItDown: u take care of hedgehogs don’t you? It isn’t wrong to think u might like a whole franchise based on hedgehogs…

SharkBait: sonic is a hedgehog…?

BreakItDown: oh boy…

GamingSheep: this hurts my gaming heart…

CrowAssassin: sure if that means I get to collab with enstars

#1Gentleman: u wanna be an idol?? Really?

CrowAssassin: yeah soccer is for losers anyways 

#1Gentleman: idk man modeling is already hard on its own..

GreenNinja: hes obv joking u doofus that hoe can’t dance for the life of him 

CrowAssassin: i need to assassinate u some day

HorrorMovies: as long as I get to cosplay as zack fair than I’m down

GamingSheep: FF7 MENTION??? I FREAKING LOVE U

HorrorMovies: u would make a great aerith btw 

GamingSheep: :))))

EgosFavorite: i hope our first collab is with the Disney movie Cars and one of u gets hit with one 

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Blue Lock Parents

Is it bad that I headcannon that the blue lock parents’ high five each other whenever they see their son on TV? I told my friend this and they said it was weird that I was thinking about their parents that way…..but its not my fault the parents thought being pretty wasn’t enough in the world so they decided to bless it with ANOTHER beautiful child like cmon! Forget about the minors when theyre parents are RIGHT there

SpinningBee: teebee i showed this post to my mom and she said its true!!

MikageReo: imma be real who even in blue lock has both of their parents ever show up either than isagi? And even so are their parents even happy together??

RedPanther: ouch… is this coming from experience…

LazyChoki: its okay reo ill make sure to high five you when we raise our child together without difficulties.

MikageReo: K{@ODJ{{F{I@E))EI

RedPanther: great now u broke him

GreenNinja: its true whenever me and chigir’s sister see chigiri we high five

RedPanther: OMFG STOP COMING FOR MY SISTER U CREEP??? ALSO I AM NOT UR SON WTF…

CrowAssassin: great! does that mean I still have a chance?

RedPanther: NO PISS OFF OML

WiltedRose: gosh i feel bad for isagi’s parents then…they prob never high fived each other in their life

EgosFavorite: kys my parents are perfectly happy with me??? At least I don’t use soccer to escape my family geez 

BlueRose: Ness ill take the gun tonight u can have the knife.

SoccerHero: what happened to this post being about happiness and family omg

GlamourANT: ✨GLAMOUROSULY RIGHT ✨✨✨ MY PARENTS ARE ALWAYS STUNNED BY MY BEAUTY AND EXISTENCE ✨✨✨✨✨

GamingSheep: im sure the itoshis’ parents high five each other everyday 

HorrorMovies: sure everytime they see me on TV but certainly not with Sae.

ItoshiSae: why would you ever say that Rin?

HorrorMovies: whats that? Did u hear that hiori? or was that just the wind?

HotPinkMonster: DON’T WORRY SAE!!! ME N CHARLES ALWAYS HIGH FIVE WHENEVER WE SEE U TRUST!!

ChesireCat: so close dad! im ur child not sae's mom....

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IDJ)(@J()E@_E

OMFG WHEN KAISER DID THE BALL FLIP THING AND THEN PASSED TO OLIVER WHICH HE THEN BLOCKED AWAY FROM NOEL THAT WAS LIKE SO FREAKING COOL??? S_@EDIO_@)I JIDFJPO AND WHEN ISAGI GOT A RED CARD THAT WAS LIKE SUPER LAME OF HIM BUT ITS OKAY BC KUNIGIRI AND KAINESS SAVED THE WORLD WITH THEIR AMAZING GAYNESS AHHHHH!!!

RedPanther: wtf did i just read???

EgosFavorite: this is an insane crossover tf

MikageReo: tell me blue locks fans didn’t watch blue lock without telling me:

SoccerHero: how does homosexuality even save the world?...

WiltedRose: who is this “oliver” guy?

BlueRose: who even cares about him cause in what world are my passes getting blocked by a nobody.

#3Gentleman: geez u bastards sure don’t mince ur words..

#1Gentleman: i hope u know that was a horrible joke btw oliver and that no one was laughing.

WiltedRose: THAT 30-YEAR OLD FREAK IS OLIVER??? HOW TF WAS HE EVER IN THE U20????

#1Gentleman: LMAO IJBOL

#3Gentleman: and to think we’re literally the same age…

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Ship Names

Forget about yalls weird usernames, do yall ever wonder if the actual players know about the ship names we make?? I don’t think we can hide NagiReo any longer bc if they actually get married and Reo changes his last name to Nagi then we’ll actually start seeing NagiReo trend online one day… what if one of them sees that and then somehow find our fics??? The world is gonna end if that happens…

LazyChoki: posting such confessions here is a bold choice

MikageReo: bold of them to assume that I would take ur last name 

RedPanther: bold of them to even assume that we haven’t seen the fics already..

LazyChoki: @RedPanther DMs Rn.

RedPanther: k girl but I can’t guarantee you’ll like what I’ve been reading lately…

MikageReo: ??? DMs for what?? R u guys srsly sending fics to each other?? Behind MY back???

RedPanther: gosh my bad..fine here as an apology ill send u the ones im sending to nagi rn

MikageReo: GOOD

MikageReo: ?? WHY THE FUCK IS THE FIRST FIC U SEND ME A READER X REO????

RedPanther: gosh no need to yell its what nagi usually likes so i sent a new one to him..

LazyChoki: thanks chigiri

MikageReo: oh my freaking god not only is it an x reader fic its ALSO y/n too ugh..

LazyChoki: ikr they should honestly just use the name ‘nagi’ as a permanent change to y/n from now on

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Cookie Lock Kingdom

Hey guys just saying if I was a cookie I would be a soccer cookie :))

SevenStars: WHAT COOKIE WOULD I BE GUYS!!!

GamingSheep: u would be rainbow cookie!!

SevenStars: omg yay i love rainbows!!!

EgosFavorite: r u saying that bc he’s gay?

GamingSheep: shhhhhh he’s not supposed to know

SevenStars: umm guys i searched up rainbow cookie…whats this “ELL JEE BEE TEA” thing…?

SharkBait: this is bad bad news…

RedPanther: can we all agree that igaguri is gingerbrave?

SoccerHero: but i like gingerbrave 🙁

RedPanther: ur right sorry igaguri doesn’t deserve any love

SoccerHero: not what I meant but I’ll take it ☺️

EgosFavorite: ofc u like gingerbrave he’s fucking ugly

SoccerHero: nvm chigiri ur right isagi is gingerbrave bc he’s fucking ugly 

RedPanther: im glad u changed ur mind ☺️

EgosFavorite: 😨

GreenNinja: remember when blue locks confessions used to be spicy…

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AITA

am i the asshole for telling my long time partner to kys because i truly didn’t need him anymore and found someone else to love?

WiltedRose: …

HotPinkMonster: HAH NOW THIS IS A REAL CONFESSION FOR ONCE

#1Gentleman: pack it up Kaiser we all know its u

GamingSheep: damn poor guy….

SoccerHero: @BlueRose

Thunderaichi: @BlueRose

SharkBait: @BlueRose 

GooglyEyes: @BlueRose

EgosFavorite: @BlueRose

BlueRose: STOP @ ME I DID NOT MAKE THIS POST OMFG

EgosFavorite: dam kaiser how could you abandon your partner so quickly?..

BlueRose: LIKE UR ONE TO TALK GO KYS

EgosFavorite: he even talks like the owner of the post smh kaiser the closet is made out of glass

GamingSheep: NOT the right saying but hey he’s got a point i mean it rlly does sound like u Kaiser…

BlueRose: ITS NOT ME ISTG WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO PROVE THAT??

WiltedRose: idk maybe don’t abandon your partner and tell themselves to KYS next time gosh.

BlueRose: ……. im sorry pls take me back ness i didnt mean any of that your the one for me truly i promise

#3Gentleman: UGH JUST KISS AND MAKEUP U GUYS ARE SO DISGUSTING

GreenNinja: dam miscommunication so bad even the constant cheater has to step in and get them together 🥶

──────────────────────────────────────────

Haikyuu no.1

hey guys….so i may or may not have completely bought too many tickets to the karasuno volleyball game…so if anyone wants to buy one feel free to DM me

EgosFavorite: ME ME ME PLEASE LET ME BUY ONE AHHHHH

SpinningBee: OMG I WANNA GO TO!!! PLEASE LET ME BE UR PLUS ONE ISAGI!!

MikageReo: arent u guys supposed to be a soccer fans

LazyChoki: wait isagi if u buy one can u buy me one too 

MikageReo: wait why r u buying one?? Isagi buy me one too ill pay u back i promise

RedPanther: ME THREE OMG PLS BUY ME ONE!!!

SoccerHero: ive been meaning to find an excuse to watch their games. Isagi buy me one too please!

BowlCut: wtf diamonds in the rough? You're all supposed to be practicing soccer instead of going to a stupid volleyball game. Did I not train you guys hard enough? Do you want me to make you guys play soccer till you die?

EgosBoss: ugh shut it ego im the boss here so i hereby declare that everyone should watch the volleyball game!! Isagi buy me one too please I'll put it on ego’s card !!!!!

BowlCut: ugh what’s so good about this karasuno team anyways

EgosBoss: well for one their coach does’t have an ugly bowlcut 

BowlCut: oh piss off

CrowAssassin: WAIT BUY ME TICKETS TOO OMFG I WANNA SEE WHY FANS KEEP COMPARING ME TO THE UGLY CAT FREAK ALL THE TIME 

#1Gentleman: so close!...he’s not on karasuno’s team..

LazyChoki: dang. does that mean kenma isn’t playing too?...i rlly wanted to see him in action

MikageReo: guys why was this haikyuu post even in the blue lock’s confessional room….

RedPanther: smh reo u truly dont understand our fans history...trust me good chance that every blue lock fan was originally a haikyuu one

MikageReo: not my fault every haikyuu fan finally came to their senses and realized soccer is better..

LazyChoki: rip ur notifications Reo..

MikageReo: wdym nagi?

MikageReo: GUYS HELP A VOLLEYBALL JUST GOT THROWN THRU MY BEDROOM WINDOW 

LazyChoki: smh..  should’ve sawn it coming… haikyuu fans are almost just as crazy as blue lock fans…

──────────────────────────────────────────

FETISH

Just finished the blue lock bible and i have a lot of questions…ESPECIALLY about the fetishes…like wtf even is a crippled fetish?? Why cleaning with quickie wipers??? (is barou into maids or smth??) How are you gonna have a fetish for a literal finger??? ALSO what is a despair face fetish??????? All these blue lock guys gotta start staying away from women i fear for them…

GreenNinja: LMAO WHO’S THE ONE WITH THE CRIPPLED FETISH THATS INSANE??

CrowAssassin: @GamingSheep DONT GO OFFLINE HOE I SEE U. U CANT ESCAPE THIE TIME

GamingSheep: U DID NOT HAVE TO @ ME OMG LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE

SevenStars: why crippled girls Hiori..? /gen

GamingSheep: OMG NOT U TOO PLS NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN 

SevenStars: if i break my arm will u not run away please? :’)

GreenNinja: mmmm using his own fetish agaisnt him dam thats smart nansae 

CrowAssassin: lolol we should all take turns breaking each others arms then 

GamingSheeping: PLS DONT?? I WILL NOT LIKE U IF U BREAK UR ARM OMG WTF GUYS IM NOT INTO IT LIKE THAT ???!?!??!?!?!?!

KingOfTheCourt: that motherfucking interview is spreading fucking nonesense ofc i dont like maids I simply just like quickie wipers not actual people themselves u dumbass 

#3Gentleman: u should learn to be nicer with that foul mouth of urs btw how else are the girls ever gonna like u

KingOfTheCourt: OH #### #### ### MY #####

SalmonFox: yeah um.. i dont think he’ll ever be with someone in the near future esp with that personality (and kink)...

EgosFavorite: HAH OFC KIRA’S FETISH IS THE RING FINGER THATS HILARIOUS 

RedPanther: LMAOO ITS PROB BC HE KNOWS HE’LL NEVER GET MARRIED WITH THAT UGLY HAIRSTYLE OF HIS 

SparklingKira: i can still see yall’s replies yk…

──────────────────────────────────────────

Confessions… 

Yes i admit to it…i did put noel noa on my hear me out cake… and i may or may not have also put ego jinpaichi on my cake…. but what's even worse is that my friend showed up and put an image of ego X noel on the cake WITHOUT any censorship….to say i was shocked was an understatement 

EgosBoss: @BowlCut LMAO WE SHOULD MAKE OUR OWN HEAR ME OUT CAKE

BowlCut: i refuse. 

EgosBoss: aww cmon don’t u wanna deny the gay allegations?

BowlCut: ….. not particulary…

EgosBoss: …..omfg the closet has never been made clearer than today…

SpinngBee: @EgosFavorite mmm we should make a hear me out cake !!!!

EgosFavorite: sorry bachira i dont think mines would be appropriate…

SpinningBee: awww why? :(

EgosFavorite: ummmmm for reasons unrelated to ppl i know irl…

HorrorMovies: just admit u wouldve put noel noa on the cake its not that hard isagi

EgosFavorite: NOT TRUE??? Gosh no need to project onto me rin thats so rude

HorrorMovies: pft as if those stupid hear me out cakes arent fucking stupid. The last time i saw someone do it they put fucking sae on the dam cake. How r u not only going to do a stupid activity but also put the worst option on the cake? Talk about bad taste yuck…

HotPinkMonster: HEY BITCH IF UR GONNA HATE ON BOTH THE HEAR ME OUT CAKE THAT U LITERALLY REFUSED TO PARTICIPATE IN CUZ UR A LOSER AND MY TATSE THAN SAY IT TO MY FUCKING FACE 

CrowAssassin: LITERALLY ALSO ARENT U RELATED TO THAT GUY?? WHO R U TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WHEN U LOOK THE SAME???

ItoshiSae: Is this true rin?

HorrorMovies: ugh dont talk to me talk to the freak who put u on that ugly ass cake instead

HotPinkMonster: tmr at 4951 Reader St 4:00PM sharp. be there or be square.

ItoshiSae: …smh

ChesireCat: aww cmon guys family arent supposed to fight :((

HorrorMovies: great look whatve u done now u even scared ur own son.

HotPinkMonster: awww r u acknowledging that ur his uncle then? ;))

HorrorMovies: no??? Ugh lock off 

HotPinkMonster: ur a good uncle at least thxxx for caring for my son XOXOXO ;))))

HorrorMovies: blocked.

──────────────────────────────────────────

Popularity Poll 

Hey guys so the blue lock popularity poll came out yesterday and i really need kiyora jin to win im not joking. If he doesnt win top 5 or higher i might just explode so pls vote for him!

BreakItDown: : ) i appreciate the support!

SharkBait: wait wait are we allowed to vote on the poll?

SevenStars: haha too late!!! I already submitted my vote for kiyora jin!!!

SharkBait: heh. great minds think alike then 

GamingSheep: trust guys we should make a kiyora jin fan club 

SharkBait: i agree!!! can i be vice president 

SevenStars: ooooo can i be the mascot!!!

GamingSheep: hell yeah 

BreakItDown: oh gosh what have i gotten myself into...

GreenNinja: whats stopping us from voting ourselves?

CrowAssassin: dont even try otoya we all know u aint breaking top 10 anytime soon lmfao 

GreenNinja: im gonna vote u for most hated btw

CrowAssassin: wait thats a thing? Aww man what the freak i already submitted it meaning i cant vote u for that category anymore…

GreenNinja: haha sucks to suck loser 

SpinningBee: who won last year?

EgosFavorite: pretty sure it was a guy u like whos name starts with an i and also ends with an i 

SpinningBee: ohhh!!! Ikki Niko won?!?!??! Congrats!!!!!!!!

EgosFavorite: dang bachira do u not like me or smth? 😞

SpinningBee: hmm..? Wdym isagi are u not happy that niko won??

EgosFavorite: nvm then…

WiltedRose: LMAO IMAGINE GETTING FRIENDZONED IN PUBLIC 

MikageReo: biggest smile on my face right now

EgosFavorite: ugh u guys are all monsters 

Chapter Text

──────────────────────────────────────────

Hey.

What do you mean? Is this game, just some, part time job to you? Listen. I’m going to crush you. Your little Japanese sightseeing trip is going to turn… TRAUMATIC.

HorroMovies: Ugh can we honestly move on from this? It’s not even funny. 

EgosFavorite: hey.

RedPanther: what do you mean?

GamingSheep: is this game, just some…

SevenStars: PART TIME JOB TO U??

#1Gentleman: Listen.

CrowAssassin: im gonna crush u.

GreenNinja: this little sightseeing trip

LazyChoki: is gonna turn..

MikageReo: TRAUMATIC

HorrorMovies: ….

HorrorMovies: how dumb do u have to fucking be to get the quote wrong despite it being RIGHT in front of yalls faces omfg….

GreenNinja: gosh my bad…. god forbid i leave out ONE word when quoting... your too strict for this my man 

HorrorMovies: you’re*.

GreenNinja: bruh

──────────────────────────────────────────

Hamster Wheel

Recently I got this cute little hamster and it rlllly loves running on its wheel. Its so cute and it constantly reminds me of the blue lock boys so i was thinking, since i have to name this hamster why dont i name it after one of them! Here guys who do u think i should name him after? 

*Inserts a pic of the hamster*

GamingSheep: AWWWWWWWW

LazyChoki: wait he's actually kinda cute

MikageReo: mhm must admit, he might even be cuter than choki himself

LazyChoki: watch it.

MikageReo: sorry nagi what i meant to say is he's NOT as cute haha…trust

RedPanther: wait this is so unfair that's such a cute hamster aint no way we can taint it’s name with one of our stupid players

CrowAssassin: lmao yeah i agree instead how about we vote on whos name we should NOT name it. here ill even go first i def vote otoya 

GreenNinja: nice try bitch even if u eliminate me aint no way someones gonna name their hamster after a fucking bird 

CrowAssassin: ugh at least i tried 

WiltedRose: name it kaiser and youll never see him again just saying 

EgosFavorite: wait pls name him ego he kinda looks like him

SoccerHero: idk guys he looks more like a chiaki morisawa

BreakItDown: honestly u should name him mikage reo so he can do your taxes for you in the future

SharkBait: i dont think thats how it works…u should just name it hamster hamster

#3Gentleman: dont yall think olive is a pretty cute name? Yk short for my name ;)

SalmonFox: ^^^ ignore him. Anyways u should totally name it after me just saying its about as cute as I am 

KingOfTheCourt: name it quickie wipes.

SpinningBee: OMG CAN YOU PLEASE NAME IT AFTER ME???!!!

OwnerOfThePost: OMG YES???!!!!! DONE! I OFFICIALLY NAMED MY PET HAMSTER BACHIRA MEGURU HAHA

SpinningBee: OM G YAYYAYAYY!!!

CrowAssassin: girl if I had known the owner of the post was a bachira fan then what chance did we even have…

GreenNinja: idk man but at least u tried right?

CrowAssassin: sigh..

──────────────────────────────────────────

“Are you the World Cup? Because you've got me feeling like I've won the biggest prize just by being near you.”

Heh. Do you guys think ill be able to charm any of the blue lock men with my great rizz and pick up lines? ​​(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

GreenNinja: heh idk about you but Are you a soccer fan? Because you got me chanting your name from the stands of my heart. ;)

CrowAssassin: great now there's two of them…

#3Gentleman: woahh Are you a soccer fan? Because every time I see you I want to take my jersey off for you. 😘

SalmFox: anddd now there's 3 of them yuck….

BlueRose: if you can grow me a blue rose sure

WiltedRose: :( are u cheating on me kaiser?

EgosFavorite: dumb fuck roses cant be grown naturally hes saying that its impossible

WiltedRose: im gonna grow one right up ur ######.

BlueRose: i knew u were the one for me :) 

──────────────────────────────────────────

Mario Role Call 

So my friends and i saw the mario live action trailer and immediately asked each other who we would cast personally if we had to choose only from the blue lock ppl. Personally I casted Isagi as mario and rin as luigi but they disagreed and said bachira as mario and isagi as luigi. What do yall think?

EgosFavorite: ummmm helloooo theres already a brother duo that perfectly fits mario and luigi lmao 

HorroMovies: no.

ItoshiSae: no.

EgosFavorite: see even they agree!!

HorroMovies: fine ill accept the terms but only if isagi is bowser.

ItoshiSae: no he doesn’t even deserve that mercy he should be toad instead.

HorrorMovies: okay.

ItoshiSae: im glad we agree.

EgosFavorite: sigh the things i do to lighten the mood…

SpinningBee: ILL GLADLY BE MARIO RAHHHHHHH!!!

──────────────────────────────────────────

HairCut

Ugh chigiri rlly needs to cut his hair. Or go bald. Either one is fine.

SoccerHero: NO????

RedPanther: woah didnt know u were so passionate about this

SoccerHero: chigiri pls dont cut ur hair its perfectly fine as is in fact if ur too tired to take care of it ill gladly do it for u

RedPanther: lmaoooo okay i promise u i wont cut my hair 

OwnerOfThePost: ughhhhh dangit hyoma whyd u have to get ur bf dragged into this? Everyone keeps thinking ur a girl everytime they see u on TV and it rlly sucks bc they always ask me for ur numberrrr…

RedPanther: wait sister is that u??

OwnerOfThePost: no duh was it not obvious enough?

RedPanther: NO?? Idk about u but siblings dont usually wish for the other to be completely BALD out of no where!!?? No less thru a confession site!?!?!

OwnerOfThePost: ugh okay…u got me there…but its NOT a crime 

──────────────────────────────────────────

Pls I can’t do this anymore 

Saw the chigiri post and immediately got inspired so im just gonna say it. @EgosBoss PLS PLS PLSSSS GET RID OF HAIR GELS I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE PSSLPW{S PLSSSSS NOT ONLY ARE THE SPIKED HAIR UGLY BUT THER PLAYERSA ARE ALSO VERY VERY VERYYYYYY MUCH PRETTIER WITH THEIR HAIR DOWN SO PLSSSS

CrowAssassin: hey wtf man it takes hours to do my shit 

GreenNinja: gotta do it like me fr from now on 

CrowAssassin: hell nah.

HotPinkMonster: HAH if u make me wet on field then my spikes go all over the place!!

ItoshiSae: watch ur words shidou.

ChesireCat: does this count as getting publicly flashed even tho my mind made it all up?

ItoshiSae: just…just dont say anymore pls

Genius: no according to calculations and real scientific data, having my hair gelled up makes me not only smarter, but also faster

EgosFavorite: that is so not true wtf

MikageReo: didnt u say u only do it bc u overheard the girls say it looks cool back in middle school?

Genius: no like i said real data and science shows that gelled up hair is far superior.

LazyChoki: yup im sure he just made that up on the spot…

EgosFavorite: poor guy…

EgosBoss: hah! no.

──────────────────────────────────────────

My Confession 

My blue lock confession is that I believe the whole show is made up and none of it is real.

BowlCut: do u want me to kill someone off to make it real?

EgosFavorite: wait pls dont i cant afford that 

LazyChoki: what is there to afford when ur gonna be dead..

MikagReo: he prob means that hell never be able to become the number one striker if someone dies further ruining blue lock funds

LazyChoki: ah

MikageReo: not that that matters tho bc ill obv be the num one striker

EgosFavorite: NOT TRUE NOT IF I GET THERE FIRST 

LazyChoki: ill kill u if u do 

EgosFavorite: WHAT??

MikageReo: thanks nagi i knew u had my back ;)

LazyChoki: :)

EgosFavorie: i hope u guys explode omfg 

──────────────────────────────────────────

Reversed

K guys we all heard our confessions now it's time to hear all the blue lockers confessions. Ready? Set. GO!!!! 🫵🫵🫵

RedPanther: i sometimes on purpose redo my hair even if it's perfectly fine over and over so i can be even later to the team meetings

SoccerHero: my heart just broke into so many pieces wtf…

MikageReo: i once broke choki’s pot but then replaced it with the same one and nagi hasn’t noticed once

LazyChoki: trust me i noticed.

MikageReo: WHAT…..ummm should i run?...

#1Gentleman: sometimes i take off my glasses bc some of the blue lock ppl are simply too hard to look at 

GreenNinja: wait but youve taken off ur glasses around me multiple times??? I thought it was a sign that ur comfortable being blind near me??

#1Gentleman: oof sorry mate…

GreenNinja: WAIT WDYM?? PLS EXPLAIN IT TO ME AM I UGLY OR SMTH??

CrowAssassin: lmaooo

GreenNinja: PLS ARGG PLS DONT LEAVE ME HANGING TO ME UR TOO KIND FOR THIS

#1Gentleman: [due to certain circumstances, the current user of this device has taken off his glasses and cannot reply at this current time. Please wait another day to contact him.]

GreenNinja: OISJDHOO WHAT. 

SpinningBee: i dont put on any clothes after a shower because its simply to warm :)

EgosFavorite: i dont think u should be proud of that one buddy…

WiltedRose: i hate isagi.

EgosFavorite: UGH EVERYONE KNOWS THAT ALREADY ITS NOT A CONFESSION U FAKER

BlueRose: i too hate isagi yoichi.

ChesireCat: i used to have a fat crush on shidou

HotPinkMonster: woah there son that's quite a confession 

ItoshiSae: cant blame u

ChesireCat: I KNEW U WOULD UNDERSTAND TEEHEE

BreakItDown: umm guys dont u think this post is revealing too many of our secrets too easily?

SharkBait: whenever u were asleep i would braid ur hair in the night and untie them before you wake up

BreakItDown: DMs now.

HorrorMovies: great thanks guys so my confession is that i actually made this post just so i could gain blackmail on u all so again thanks

GamingSheep: WHAT???

HorrorMovies: i screenshotted everything btw even the hidden replies so none of yall can hide from me 

GamingSheep: WAIT PLS SEND THEM TO ME PLSSSS

HorroMovies: sure.

#1Gentleman: wtf happened while i was gone omg..

──────────────────────────────────────────

Chapter Text

──────────────────────────────────────────

What is this Blue…Lock?

So I'm a parent with a daughter son duo and they recently got into this…. ‘blue lock’ show? I’m not really into social media yet now my children are constantly asking me to buy them soccer balls and I seriously don’t see the hype. Who are these blue men and why are they contaminating my children’s minds?

EgosFavorite: ‘contaminating’ IS CRAZYYYYY

SoccerHero: we are simply but young teenagers who’s dreams are to win the Soccer World Cup. I promise we mean no harm towards your children !!

RedPanther: sorry dude but i dont think the old hag who posted this confession deserves such a polite answer

MikageReo: old hag is crazyyy

SoccerHero: what else was I supposed to say? Tell them to join the blue lock facility…? : (

LazyChoki: yeah so that's a no…

RedPanther: ugh ur right…whatever keeps the kids away from that hellhole ig

HotPinkMonster: what a party pooper just let ur kids have fun with soccer balls

SharkBait: last time they added a sibling pair into blue lock a lot of dark dark feelings were unveiled 

SevenStars: OMG YEAH!! THE ITOSHIS WERE HELLA COOL DURING THE U20S !!! EGO SHOULD TOTALLY ADD MORE SIBLINGS!!!!

HorrorMovies: no nansae. U meant to say THE itoshi was cool not with the extra s

SevenStars: ? but i meant u and sae..

HorrorMovies: I just threw up.

SevenStars: ??? did i say smth wrong…

ItoshiSae: I remember being in a similar situation when I was younger. My advice is that you should buy one ball and then after a few years, send the best child to Spain so they’ll become the strongest soccer player. The other child should give up once they realize they’re not worthy of being number one, and that’ll solve all your problems. 

ChesireCat: ^^^ HAHA EXCUSE MY PARENT WHAT THEY SAID ABOVE IS NOT TRUE AND SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN SERIOSULY !!!!

OwnerOfThePost: Hmmmm.…..I'll think about it. Thanks for the lovely advice!

EgosFavorite: we’re all doomed arent we… 

──────────────────────────────────────────

You Know The Deal (ANYONE OLDER THAN 18 DNI !!!) 

Smash, marry, kill: Otoya, Karasu, or Yukimiya.

GreenNinja: HEY WHAT DO U MEAN 

#1Gentleman: Karasu, Yukimiya, Otoya.

GreenNinja: hey so what order is that in..

CrowAssassin: open your eyes ninja boy it’s right in front of ya 

GreenNinja: this gotta be some sick april fools joke…..right?

#1Gentleman: @GamingSheep what would you personally rank them as?

GamingSheep: ummm I rather not…

GreenNinja: HEY DONT IGNORE ME

#1Gentleman: aww that's too bad, I was hoping you’d might have the same as mine

GreenNinja: NO HE WOULDNT???

GamingSheep: heh, perchance 

CrowAssassin: aw man, am I seriously not all three (excluding the killing part)?

GamingSheep: ‘fraid not.

CrowAssassin: aw shucks 

GreenNinja: freak all of you.

#1Gentleman: woah there otoya, that’s not how you play the game…

──────────────────────────────────────────

I’m not cheating on soccer i promise

Rin in a swimsuit….kunigami dunking a basketball…..nagi hitting the splits….reo playing the guitar….chigiri freestyle rapping…...hiori rock climbing……isagi singing a solo……charles using a racket…..karasu batting….yukimiya modeling…kiyora breakdancing…

MikageReo: this is so cryptic help

RedPanther: sorry girly but u aint ever catching me freestyle rap tf

HorrorMovies: NO.

GamingSheep: im flattered u think i can rock climb but truly….soccer is already enough for me

CrowAssassin: batting what? My eyelashes? Or my balls?

#1Gentleman: pls stfu

GreenNinja: why tf does the last 2 get normal ones that they already do 

BreakItDown: its ur sign to quit soccer and do another sport trust 

#1Gentleman: otoya as a model….idk about that one

BreakItDown: ur right perchance he should try curling instead

GreenNinja: ?? u aint ever catching this hottie doing that sport EVER 

#1Gentleman: its okay to be wrong otoya <3

GreenNinja: </3 i swear im gonna get u one day. 

EgosFavorite: hear me out: what if the blue lock facility turned into the egoist facility 

MikageReo: high chance ego is NOT approving of that

LazyChoki: pls dont think that way isagi. I rlly cant do splits.…ill die

SoccerHero: wait i like the idea itd be fun to try out different sports no?

RedPanther: yeah no 

SoccerHero: oh

BowlCut: yeah no.

SoccerrHero: oh…

EgosFavorite: gosh guess thats a no then…

SoccerHero: oh :(

──────────────────────────────────────────

PLS HELP 

wriitngna fic rn and ummn do any of the blue lock characterssing i dont wanna make it too ooc

BlueRose: never let isagi open his mouth ever 

WiltedRose: Kaiser sings in the shower sometimes trust I hear his heavenly voice all the time

EgosFavorite: one, FREAK U KAISER, second, yall shower together??

WiltedRose: if ur asking for a peek then thats a big fat NO 

EgosFavorite: ??? Im not asking to see him shower ew no???

WiltedRose: oh. well thats great ig

EgosFavorite: girl do u???

WiltedRose: do i what

EgosFavorite: nvm

WiltedRose: do i what isagi.

EgosFavorite: oh yknow…

WiltedRose: no i dont know tell me isagi.

EgosFavorite: haha anyways!!! Did yknow bachira sings really good in the shower???!!! Trust me search up ‘crazy:B songs’ he has like the exact voice as kohaku oukawa, a professional singer !!!!!

WiltedRose: oh wow so not only r u ignoring me but u admit to peeking at bachira while he showers?

EgosFavorite: AHA SO U DO ADMIT THAT U PEEK AT KAISER WHEN HE SHOWERS !!!

WiltedRose: I HAVE NOT ADMITTED ANYTHING?? UR THE ONE WHOS A CREEP HERE

EgosFavorite: WELL IT TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE DOESNT IT

WiltedRose: ##### U AND UR ####### EGO U ########

OwnerOfThePost: deactivated the comments

BlueRose: thank you. 

OwnerOfThePost: urwelcome 

──────────────────────────────────────────

🔵🔒

⚽️🃏🐆🦎🌵🤓🌈🎬🐑🐦‍⬛🥷🦈🕺😎💥🍵🌹🥀

EgosFavorite: 🥇⚽️💪🤞

SoccerHero: 👆❌❌

RedPanther: 👑🐆⚽️💪✅

MikageReo: 🙅🙅🦎🔛🔝

LazyChoki: 🌵🙂‍↕️

RedPanther: 🙄👨‍❤️‍👨🏳️‍🌈

MikageReo: 🖕

GamingSheep: 🌈❓

GreenNinja: 🔵🔒🙄

#1Gentleman: 🤦‍♂️❌→ 🌈🧑❓

CrowAssassin: 🤷🦊❓

SalmonFox: 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬❌

#3Gentleman: 🤣🤣

BreakItDown: 🌈❓

SharkBait: 🙋‍♂️👉🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟⁉️

GamingSheep: 😱🤯🤔✅⁉️

SevenStars: 🤩🙂‍↕️👍🙌🥳🎉

HorrorMovies: U all are fools.

OwnerOfThePost: 💩🚽

HorrorMovies: #######

HorroMovies: ####### ######!!!

HorrorMovies: #### ###### ##!!??
HorrorMovies: ????

OwnerOfThePost: 🤪😋😝

HorrorMovies: ⬆️🩸🔫

OwnerOfThePost:  😨😰

HorrorMovies:  🙂

──────────────────────────────────────────

Letter of Goodbye 

Dear Blue Lock and Devoted Fans,

I would like to sadly announce that I will be leaving this fandom and TV series from now on. It’s been a hard decision to make but I know it is the right one. 

Now, most of you probably know me as the one who made this site, but I’m also the one who is eternally grateful for such fun times on this silly side of the web. Inviting the blue lock official players to interact with us fanposts was the best decision I’ve ever made and I will continue to let this site live underneath a new light. From now on, I’m giving all admin permissions to the greatest player ever, Zantestu Tsurugi. I trust that all of you will be accepting of this well thought-out decision and give him the warmest of welcomes into his new position. I’ll still be visitng this site once in a while to reminisce over the fun times and expect great things from you all.

Best,

UltimateEgoist

Genius: Thank you all for the generous compliments. I’ll gladly take up my new poisition without hesitation. May we all miss the previous owner with great remorse. 

SalmonFox: okay who tf let this dimwit lead the site???

#1Gentleman: u shouldnt say that about the previous owner sendou…ur ruining the mood rn

SalmonFox: ??? this aint a funeral the owner aint even dead plus like hell am i gonna accept zantestu as our next leader

#3Gentleman: shhh give it a few seconds..

SalmonFox2: OKAY WTF?? SINCE WHEN DID WE BAN ACCOUNTS ON THIS SITE?? I THOUGHT THIS WAS A FREE SPEECH PLACE

#3Gentleman: this is the best thing ive ever witnessed lmaooo

RedPanther: that glasses nerd isnt gonna do anything crazy anyways right?

MikageReo: idk about that one…

LazyChoki: he can barely use a phone i doubt he can even change anything on the website

MikageReo: lmao literally last time i saw him using one was when he accidentally changed the phone settings on isagi’s device while trying to look for his glasses

SoccerHero: oh wow…. that explains a lot….

SpinngBee: nooo why r u leaving?

UltimateEgoist: i tried playing soccer yesterday. Not only did i miss the ball by miles, my body completely flipped over with how far my leg was kicking up 😭

GamingSheep: oh!....and thats the reason why u wanted to leave?..

UltimateEgoist: yes it was sooo embarassing all my BLLK friends were there ugh i disgraced the whole soccer fandom im so sorry im literally just a fake baller after all…

SharkBait: thats not true !! you you just had a tiny little mistake it couldnt have been that embarrassing 

UltimateEgoist: it has 10million views on YT 💔 

BreakItDown: oh!

UltimateEgoist: yeah im so sorry i failed u all…ive been fans ever since the show started yet my horrible disgrace of a kick is ruining soccer’s rep all over the internet :’)

EgosFavorite: dont worry!!! just because ur not that great at soccer doesnt mean ur not a BIG FAT LOSER AND ANNOYING LITTLE BRAT 

EgosFavorite: WHAT???? I DID NOT MEAN TO SAY THAT OMG I MEANT UR A #### #### #### 

EgosFavorite: WTF IS HAPPENING OMG IM SO SORRY WHAT THE FREAK??!! I SWEAR I MEANT TO TYPE #### BUT IT JUST AUTOMATICALLY CHANGES IT???

GreenNinja: LMAOOOOO ISAGI SUDDENLY NOW UR A ###### #### ####??

GreenNinja: wait wtf is going on with my phone…why cant i say ##### ??

GreenNinja: DID THAT FREAK ALREADY CHANGE THE SITES SETTINGS THAT QUICK???

CrowAsssassin: HAHHAHHAHAH ##### ####

CrowAssassin: fuck. It spreaded. 

Genius: 🤓

──────────────────────────────────────────

April Fools 

Just did the best april fools prank of all time. Love u all <3

HorrorMovies: ##########

HotPinkMonster: #### ######### ####### ##### !!!

SevenStars: ##### ###...

KingOfTheCourt: ##### ##### ##### ?????

SharkBait: ###### ###### !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RedPanther: ###### ######

Thunderaichi: ##################################

GreenNinja: ######## ####### ####

SparklingKira: ## ##.

BreakItDown: ######## 

SoccHero: : ( 

WiltedRose: #### -

BlueRose: - ####

LazyChoki: #*(@) @(#*_)$@ #@*#@_

ChesireCat: ############## ####### @#####

SpinningBee: #### !!! ######### !!!!! 

MikageReo: #### ## ### ##### </3

GlamourANT: ✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

ItoshiSae: #  

CrowAssassin: ### ### ### ## ### #####

EgosFavorite: #### ##### !?

Genius: ####.

UltimateEgoist: Well said my friend, well said. ☺️

Chapter Text

Hello Fellow Egoists,

Sorry to announce but this is not a new chapter as I'm in a really bad slump right now.

I currently don't have any more confessions to write about (sadly) so I'd like to invite you all to be apart of my silly fic journey. I believe it'd be really fun if you could all give me some blue lock confessions that I personally never would have wrote from my perspective, so I'm expecting a lot of egotistical ones!!

The confessions will all be anonymous (ofc) and gathered through a googleform link, so have fun and go wild!!! 

Confession Collector

Your Egoist, 

OwnerOfThePost