Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

some people liked routines. some didn't. mingyu understood people who didn't like them. he understood how they could seem mundane and stifling. he himself loved routines, he loved his routine. wake up, visit the diner near his apartment, go to work, go to the gym, end up at the same diner, and go to sleep. it seemed boring, but mingyu found comfort in the simplicity of it all. 

of course, over the years, parts of that routine changed. sometimes, he went to the gym before work. he moved apartments at least three times in the past ten years. before he landed his job as an elementary school teacher, he used to be in school himself. sometimes, he skipped dinner for those countless nights he spent studying, holed up in the school library with nothing to sate his hunger but chalky protein bars and fruit gummies.

the one thing that never changed was that he ate at that diner. the one thing that never changed was the reason he always ate there.

the door bells overhead chimed, sounding a little shrill, as mingyu pushed open the creaky diner door. the man let out an exhale as he stepped inside, immediately being greeted with the familiar scent of fried eggs and coffee. he smiled to himself as he made his way to his favorite bar stool, preferring to sit there instead of taking up an entire table for himself. he found that he received faster service when he sat closest to the coffee pot, and who was mingyu to object to the first freshly brewed cup of coffee?

the bar stool made a noise as mingyu sat down on it, probably from years of use and from mingyu's daily visits. the man pretended to browse the menu, though he knew he was going to order the same thing as always. he wasn't the only one who knew this.

mingyu's ear turned up at the familiar sound of his favorite waiter's laughter. he straightened his posture as he heard the voice of his favorite waiter heading in his direction. mingyu waited patiently for the man to finish up with the other customers before he came to him. he kept fidgeting with the plastic menu until the object of his attention finally stood in front of him. seungkwan. mingyu smiled.

seungkwan smiled back as he pulled a mug out from behind the bar. he placed it down in front of mingyu, along with a container of creamer and sugar, and began to pour the man his first cup of coffee. "hi, mingyu hyung." seungkwan greeted as he picked out two creamers and one sugar packet for the older boy.

mingyu bit the inside of his lip in an attempt to suppress the dumb smile itching to grow on his face. he poured the creamers and sugar in and slowly stirred them in with the spoon seungkwan handed to him. "hi, seungkwan." he took a sip of his coffee and let out a hum in satisfaction. just right, not that he expected otherwise. "new apron?" the older boy asked as he took another sip, his eyes drawn to the suspiciously pristine apron tied around the younger boy's waist.

seungkwan chuckled to himself as he turned around to face the kitchen window. he placed his new orders onto the carousel, glancing at mingyu before he said, "yes, a new one, after you spilled coffee on my last one."

mingyu looked embarrassed as he took another sip of his coffee. the older boy looked down as he mumbled, "i still want to pay you back for that." it wasn't his fault, not really. the story of the spilled coffee occurred when mingyu was feeling overly confident about a crossword he was working on and knocked over his, thankfully lukewarm, full mug of coffee, right where seungkwan was refilling the sugar containers. seungkwan waved the older boy off dismissively, insisting it was fine as he shed the stained apron off, but mingyu insisted that he would replace it. seungkwan declined, but mingyu still often thought about the incident.

seungkwan held up a finger to the older, gesturing with his hand to the rest of the diner. mingyu nodded in understanding and waved the younger boy off. seungkwan hopped away to quickly attend to the other guests. mingyu silently worked on his coffee and felt his eyes drift over to the menu. maybe he would try something different tonight. something sweet instead of his usual steak and eggs.

seungkwan returned with a low whistle directed at the other boy. he leaned onto the bar in front of mingyu, crossing his arms on the counter as he said, "it's no problem, hyung. i needed a new apron, anyway." he leaned down to pull out his own iced americano that he had hidden behind the bar. the younger boy took a sip and quickly swallowed it as he asked, "so, any exciting news from work?"

with a snort and a roll of his eyes, mingyu nodded and reached into his pocket. "yeah, our jiwonie made another masterpiece for us." the older boy said sarcastically as he unfolded the piece of paper. on the piece of paper, there was a slightly misshapen drawing of a rainbow over a plane of grass. mingyu assumed the strange animal on the paper was a cow. either that, or it was a very large dog with black and white spots.

seungkwan barely glanced at the paper, the boy too busy taking another sip of his drink. he still smiled as he said, "oh, how cute."

mingyu shot the younger boy a playful glare. "kwan, come on. it's another rainbow." 

as of that day, it was probably the child's hundredth drawing of a rainbow. at first, it was cute. mingyu was sure the young girl was inspired by the numerous pride flags he had hung up in his classroom. the children loved the colors of each individual flag, so he never received any complaints to take them down, thankfully. regardless of that, jiwon took an immediate liking to the rainbow flag and insisted on drawing a rainbow every day during their drawing time. there was only so many times that mingyu could pretend to be amazed by the same drawing.

seungkwan tsked loudly and shook his head at the older boy disapprovingly. "yes, but she used the colors in the right order this time. our jiwonie is so smart." the younger boy said with a fond smile on his face. mingyu felt his grimace soften into a smile at the sight of seungkwan's smile. he thought it was sweet that seungkwan had a fondness for his students despite never meeting them. he was sure it was because seungkwan loved kids so much.

the bell at the kitchen window chimed, signaling there was food in the window. seungkwan turned around and smiled as he saw the ticket next to the plate. he crumpled up the paper and threw it away before he turned around and set the plate down in front of mingyu.

mingyu furrowed his eyebrows as the scent of his regular plate of food floated up to his face. he looked up at seungkwan with a confused tilt of his head. "i was going to order something else." the older boy said, feeling a little ashamed that seungkwan placed his order before he was able to change his mind. he swore that he had his heart set on that peach cobbler.

seungkwan let out a giggle. "no you weren't, mister steak and eggs." he said as he handed the boy some silverware.

mingyu pulled the fork and knife out and, despite himself, let out a hum in satisfaction. he tried to cover that up by sending the younger boy a smirk. he leaned forward in his seat as he said, "are you trying to get rid of me that fast?"

the bell in the kitchen window chimed again. seungkwan ignored it as he leaned forward, a fond look on his face as he murmured, "no way, hyung. i'm just trying to feed you." he quickly stepped away to grab the plates of food in the window behind him. he juggled the plates on his arm and cast an apologetic look to the older boy as he said, "i'll check on you in a bit."

mingyu ate his food in silence, and he hated that seungkwan was right. he knew that he wasn't going to order that peach cobbler. seungkwan knew that, too. it was almost as if the younger boy could sense mingyu's misguided attempt at being adventurous and felt the responsibility to shut it down immediately.

maybe seungkwan just knew mingyu too well. that was expected, though. with the countless years mingyu had been eating at the diner, somewhere close to ten years at that point, the two boys became quite close with each other. and in those years, mingyu had plenty of time to be adventurous.

sometimes, he did end up ordering something else, and it tasted fine, but it wasn't the comforting familiarity of the steak and eggs he ordered for breakfast and dinner. sometimes, he sat down at a table, but he quickly felt bad and brought himself and his full cup of coffee to the bar. seungkwan shot the older boy a knowing look but remained silent as they ignored mingyu's venture from the table to the bar.

in the past decade, mingyu had stepped out of his comfort zone a total of two times. the first time was when he asked seungkwan out on a date. this was after mingyu started the habit of eating at the diner every day, so a total of two months of the two boys knowing each other. seungkwan was flattered, but he said that he was busy with school and work and just didn't have the time. so mingyu waited for seungkwan to graduate, and he asked the boy out again. it appeared to be too late, judging by the apologetic look on the younger boy's face. seungkwan explained that he reconnected with an old friend from high school. mingyu understood and wished them luck. he assumed that they would only be together for a short time. he was fine with waiting.

that was over six years ago. they never broke up. mingyu swore since then that he wouldn't step out of his comfort zone ever again.

mingyu snapped out of his thoughts as seungkwan walked up to him. the younger boy rested a hand on mingyu's shoulders as he walked around the counter, a tired smile on his face as he checked up on his favorite customer.

mingyu smiled and nodded and said everything was great. he slipped into a story about two of his students fighting over the monkey bars during recess. the older boy took pauses as seungkwan held up an apologetic finger and walked away to check on the other tables. mingyu didn't mind. he was used to telling his stories to the younger boy in broken up parts. seungkwan told him that his stories about his students always cheered him up. the young boy said it was like a breath of fresh air compared to what he dealt with at the diner every day.

mingyu didn't know that seungkwan looked forward to these moments together just as much as he did. in the middle of the screaming customers and the smell of burnt coffee and the hot plates of food burning his arms, there was mingyu, a man unbothered and content. someone who seemed to have his entire life together. seungkwan envied the older boy. but even though his life was hectic, he felt happy that someone, that mingyu, got to live such a simple life and find happiness in that. the older boy deserved that much.

the two men continued to talk well into the night, mingyu's empty plate left discarded, along with a muffin wrapper from the free treat that seungkwan offered the older boy earlier. it was the younger boy's attempt at an apology for not letting mingyu explore different options for his dinner. mingyu wasn't even that upset, but he thought the pout on seungkwan's face was too cute. plus, it was a free treat, so he split the muffin with the younger boy, the two boys exchanging smiles as they ate their halves of the strawberry and white chocolate muffin. 

eventually, the time came for the diner to close. seungkwan didn't have to stay behind to put up the chairs that night because he had worked without a break that day, so the two walked to the back of the diner where seungkwan's car was parked. mingyu always insisted on walking the younger boy to his car, even though the older boy was parked in front of the diner. seungkwan always politely refused, but mingyu did it anyway. it was just another part of their routine together at that point.

as seungkwan dug the keys out of his bag and unlocked his car, mingyu opened the driver's side door for the younger boy. seungkwan slid into the car with a huff and clumsily tossed his bag into the passenger seat. mingyu wanted to reach out and smooth the wrinkle between seungkwan's eyebrows, but he stopped himself before he embarrassed himself.

mingyu wanted to be the cool guy, the one who made jokes and acted casual with him. but he wasn't that guy, not deep down. he knew how he felt about the younger boy, how it kept him up most nights. he wondered if seungkwan knew, as well. he hoped he didn't.

seungkwan looked up and blinked cutely at the older boy. he smiled prettily as he murmured, "see you tomorrow?"

mingyu smiled back. they both knew the answer to that. "see you tomorrow." he said with a nod.

mingyu gently closed the car door and took a step back. he shoved his hands in his pockets and casually walked away, making his way around the diner to the front where his car was waiting for him. mingyu quickly got in his car and stayed put. he pretended to fiddle around with his phone while he waited. the older was scrolling through his weather app when he saw the familiar silhouette of seungkwan's car driving past him. mingyu smiled to himself as he quickly started his car and drove off in the opposite direction.

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seungkwan woke up the next morning with a start. well, more from the harsh nudges being pressed into his side. he knew it was his boyfriend silently telling him to turn off his alarm. he sighed as he grabbed his phone from somewhere in between the sheets, furiously tapping at the screen until his alarm stopped blaring loudly. the room quickly fell into a silence, the distant hum of their rickety air conditioner blasting throughout the small apartment.

with an eye still squeezed shut, seungkwan slowly sat up and stretched his arms over his head. he looked to his right and saw his boyfriend scrawled out over the bed, most of the covers bunched up in the older boy's arms. seungkwan let out a sigh before he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the boy's cheek. "good morning, wonhyuk." he murmured with as much sweetness as he could muster that early in the morning. that early being 8:45 in the morning.

wonhyuk let out a groan and rolled over, mumbling a good morning against the pillow. seungkwan nodded to himself before he climbed out of bed. he did his morning routine as usual, always ending with heating up leftovers for wonhyuk before he left for work.

the younger boy yawned as he climbed into his car and drove to work. he stopped by his favorite cafe and ordered two americanos, one with ice and one without ice. he always put ice in the one without ice later in his shift. the drinks were one of the only things that got him through the day. that, and...

"hyung! good morning." seungkwan chirped sweetly as he spotted mingyu in his usual spot. 

the younger boy brightened up as he set his things down behind the bar. he stood up and saw mingyu grin back at him. "morning, kwan." the older boy held up a hand to cut in with, "i already told them my order. i ordered pancakes, because you think you know me so well."

seungkwan let out a snort as he glanced at the coffee machine, seeing that it was almost done brewing. he turned to the older boy with a hand on his hip. "okay, hyung. did they also give you your coffee with two creams and one sugar since i know you so well?" he said teasingly as he leaned down to grab the creamer and sugar.

mingyu held out his hand as seungkwan handed him the two creamers and packet of sugar. "no, they didn't. only you can remember something that unimportant." the older boy said with a snort.

seungkwan chuckled as he grabbed the freshly brewed coffee pot. he poured the coffee into mingyu's mug while he leaned down to grab a spoon from under the counter. he handed the spoon to the older boy, who shot a thankful smile at seungkwan before he stirred his additions into the coffee.

seungkwan shot the older boy an apologetic smile as the diner quickly filled up. seungkwan quickly made his rounds, greeting the customers and taking orders at a relaxed pace. he walked back to the kitchen and placed the orders onto the carousel with a sigh.

seungkwan was usually the only waiter who worked the breakfast shift, the rest of the waiters refusing to do so because of how slow it was in the mornings. this left seungkwan to deal with the customers by himself for the next seven hours until one of his coworkers showed up, and then the cycle started over again.

seungkwan didn't mind working as much as he did. he had bills to pay, more so ever since his boyfriend got laid off from his job. the younger boy had to pull the weight financially, so he typically worked every day without a day off. the job came with its stresses, but he really needed to save up money. his car wasn't in the best condition. he was sure that something was wrong with the starter, and the headlights needed to be replaced. it also would be nice to move out of his apartment and into a bigger one. somewhere bigger for him and–

"hey, are you okay?" 

seungkwan snapped out of his thoughts of his boyfriend and the distant sound of discordant violins ringing in his head. he looked at the hand on his own. he followed the arm of the unfamiliar hand and let out a sigh in relief when he saw that it was just mingyu.

the older boy had a concerned look on his face as he quietly repeated his question. seungkwan blinked slowly and suddenly felt the prominent frown on his face. he quickly forced a smile on his face as he mumbled, "yeah, hyung. sorry, what were you talking about?"

mingyu shot the younger boy an unsure look before he settled back into his seat. he decided to act like everything was normal for seungkwan, for the younger boy's sake. he smiled as he retold the part where he said that he was taking the kids on a field trip to the aquarium in a few days.

seungkwan immediately brightened up at the mention of the aquarium. he quickly gushed about how much he loved the aquarium as he turned around and grabbed mingyu's pancakes from the window. he grabbed the can of whipped cream further down the counter and quickly drew a smiley face on the food. he handed the plate to the older boy, who said nothing as he ate his pancakes. 

seungkwan smiled as he watched mingyu eat. any other grown man would have made a fuss about the smiley face on the pancakes, but mingyu was so easygoing that he didn't even mind. judging by the smile on the older boy's face, seungkwan could tell that mingyu really enjoyed seeing the smiley face. the older boy was so cool in that way. he always rolled with the punches.

seungkwan silently refilled mingyu's mug and set aside the creamers and sugar for the older boy before he walked away to check on his other tables. the waiter quickly found himself getting tied up talking to another table when mingyu walked up to him and rested a hand on his shoulder. seungkwan looked up as mingyu said, "i gotta go."

seungkwan looked to mingyu's former spot and saw the crumbled up bills mingyu left for him. the younger boy nodded as he smiled up at mingyu. "see you later?" seungkwan murmured.

mingyu smiled and nodded. "see you later." and with that, the older boy was gone.

the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. seungkwan burned his hand on the coffee pot quickly after mingyu left. one of his tables left without paying. one of his coworkers didn't show up, so he had double tables for most of the dinner shift.

it was a sweet life.

the only sense of relief seungkwan felt was when the dinner rush was over and mingyu casually strolled in. seungkwan ignored the warm feeling that bloomed in his chest as he greeted the older boy. mingyu greeted him back, feeling just as tired as the younger boy from the hectic day at school he had. the older boy sat down on the stool with a tired sigh. the two boys locked eyes and let out a laugh at the tired expressions on their faces.

they didn't exchange many words that night. they didn't need to. with the amount of time they spent together, there was nothing they didn't know about each other. they were at the stage in their friendship where they felt comfortable just sitting in silence. it was comforting for the both of them, especially after the long day they both had. seungkwan looked forward to these moments the most. he was sure that mingyu did, too.

mingyu cut and set aside bits of his dinner for seungkwan to snack on when the younger boy had time. seungkwan let the older boy sneakily feed him bits of steak and eggs when he stopped running around. he usually didn't have time to sit down and have a proper meal while he was working, so he usually just ate when he could. mingyu often left him behind small pieces, knowing the younger boy would protest if the pieces were bigger.

seungkwan got to clock out early that night, so he quickly did his closing tasks before he clocked out. he looked to the nearly empty diner and chuckled when he saw mingyu looking for him. he smiled while he untied his apron and tossed it over his shoulder as he walked toward the older boy. he giggled as he placed a hand on the older boy's shoulder, and mingyu jumped in surprise.

"are you off already?" mingyu asked in disbelief as he watched seungkwan ruffle his hair. 

seungkwan closed his eyes and let out a tired hum. mingyu's eyes traced seungkwan's face, and he smiled to himself. he wiped his hands with a napkin and stood up. he already paid and was waiting for the younger boy to return, so he was more than willing to leave at that moment with seungkwan.

seungkwan opened his eyes in confusion when he felt a hand at the small of his back, the older boy gently pushing him towards the front door. he remained silent as he leaned into the touch, letting the older boy push him towards the back of the diner where his car was parked. seungkwan was too tired to drive, but he knew that he needed to. it's not like he could ask the older boy to drive for him.

seungkwan unlocked his car and let the older boy open the door for him. he tossed his bag aside and mustered the sweetest smile he could as he looked up at the older boy. "see you tomorrow?" he murmured.

mingyu nodded. "see you tomorrow." he said as he gently closed the door.

seungkwan's face fell as he watched the older boy walk away. he let out a loud sigh as he dropped his head to the steering wheel. he sat there for a few minutes before he clumsily put the keys in the ignition and turned it. his head shot up when the car began to make a strange clicking noise. he watched the car struggle to turn on. he quickly turned it off and took the keys out of the ignition. his heart crawled into his throat as he waited a full minute before trying again. he let out a shout when the car didn't bother to turn back on.

seungkwan flopped back onto the car seat, his eyes moving around the car rapidly as he wondered what to do. he didn't have enough money to take a cab home, so that was out of the question. he debated on whether he could ask his manager for a ride home. he nodded to himself as he decided on the second option. the boy grabbed his belongings before he climbed out of the car, quickly locking the vehicle as he jogged to the front of the diner.

seungkwan halted at the front door of the diner when he heard a car door open and someone say, "seungkwan?"

seungkwan turned around and tilted his head in confusion when he spotted mingyu walking towards him. when the older boy was finally close enough, seungkwan couldn't help but ask, "what are you still doing here?"

mingyu took a step back in surprise. he looked flustered as he looked away and mumbled, "i was scrolling on my phone." he shook his head before he looked at seungkwan, a concerned look on his face as he asked, "what are you still doing here?"

it was seungkwan's turn to be flustered. he looked away as he mumbled, "my car won't start."

mingyu scrunched up his face in frustration. he lightly shoved the younger boy in the shoulder as he said, "what? seungkwan, i told you that you needed to replace your starter."

seungkwan let out a quiet whine as he shoved the older boy back. "i know, hyung."

the younger boy watched mingyu turn and walk away back in the direction of his car, which was still on. by the time mingyu reached his car, he turned around and let out a groan. he waved the younger boy over as he said, "well? are you coming?"

seungkwan blinked in surprise. he looked around nervously as he said, "oh! i-i don't know, hyung. you know how wonhyuk gets."

mingyu rolled his eyes as he walked up to the younger boy. he gently grabbed the younger boy's wrist and dragged him to his car. the older boy kept his tone even as he said, "well, if wonhyuk cared, he would have replaced your starter for you. or picked you up from work, at the very least."

seungkwan remained silent as mingyu led him to the passenger side door. the older boy opened the door for him and ushered him inside the car. seungkwan felt strange as he watched the older boy close the door and make his way to the other side of the car.

this wasn't how their nights usually ended. they usually split up at this part, the two boys going their separate ways to their separate lives. but now mingyu was driving him home without bothering to ask for directions. seungkwan vaguely remembered telling the older boy where he lived a long time ago, so he wasn't too worried about that.

the longer the car ride stretched on, seungkwan felt himself begin to relax. the air conditioner in mingyu's car actually worked, so the two boys were being blasted with warm air. seungkwan didn't realize how cold he was until he turned the air vents to point on him. mingyu chuckled quietly as he pointed his own vents to the younger boy.

seungkwan looked over to the older boy and let out a sigh. he rested his head on the head rest as he mumbled, "sorry for troubling you–"

"i will leave you on the side of the road if you finish that sentence." mingyu cut in, shooting the younger boy an amused smile before he focused his attention on the road again.

seungkwan laughed as he said, "fair enough." his smile fell slightly as he let out another sigh. "i've just had a long day. my car messing up is just the cherry on top to my awesome day."

mingyu pouted slightly as he glanced at seungkwan. his hands tightened around the steering wheel, a way to force himself from trying to reach out for the younger boy. "what happened?" the older boy eventually settled on asking.

seungkwan huffed as he sat back in his seat. he debated on whether he should rant to the older boy, but that flew out of the window the second seungkwan opened his mouth and began to rant anyway. seungkwan half expected the older boy to cut him off and start complaining about his own problems. it was what other people usually did, including his own boyfriend. but mingyu listened intently, humming occasionally to signal that he was following along. 

there goes the warm feeling in seungkwan's chest again.

mingyu pulled up to seungkwan's apartment much faster than either of them anticipated. the two boys looked dejected as they stared at the building, the younger boy quickly masking his expression as he unbuckled his seat belt and leaned back against the seat.

seungkwan dropped his head back onto the seat again, his voice soft as he said, "thank you for the ride, hyung."

mingyu nodded softly. "of course. do you need a ride to work tomorrow?" he asked with a hopeful glint in his eye.

seungkwan quickly shook his head as he opened the car door. "no, no. i have a bike, i'll just ride that to work." 

mingyu looked like he wanted to say something, but he quickly decided otherwise. the older boy just said good night and didn't drive off until seungkwan was safely inside his apartment.

and despite seungkwan outwardly refusing the night before, mingyu was parked outside of seungkwan's apartment the next morning, ready to take the younger boy to work. seungkwan tried to tamp down his smile as he climbed into the older boy's car. he shot the older boy a playful glare as he reprimanded mingyu for not listening to him. mingyu chuckled and said nothing as he drove the two of them to seungkwan's favorite cafe for his two americanos.

as much as seungkwan hated the idea, those daily drives quickly became a part of their routine together.

Chapter Text

mingyu didn't take risks, everyone knew this. he had a set routine and stuck by it. he spent the same amount of money every week. he spoke to the same people, saw the same things, and he was happy. safe. but who was he to protest to driving seungkwan to and from work every day?

sure, he was spending nearly double on gas and americanos, and he was spending even more time at the diner. he had even skipped going to the gym a few times just so he could have a late lunch at the diner – admittedly, he did like trying to pick out his new regular lunch plate with seungkwan. but how could he possibly regret any of these intrusions to his routine when seungkwan was always so excited to see him?

mingyu's entire day was quickly evolving into just seungkwan seungkwan seungkwan. and truthfully, he was so very happy about that.

it had been almost two weeks since seungkwan's car broke down, and the two had worked out this little routine together. and mingyu didn't want to think that he was just imagining it, but he swore that he could see the twinkle in seungkwan's eye brightening as the days passed. the older boy didn't want to think that he was the sole reason for that, but he felt hope bloom in his chest at the idea.

it was foolish of him to hold out hope for something like that.

one night after work, mingyu was driving seungkwan back to his apartment after the two boys made a quick ice cream run. mingyu asked for his ice cream in a cup, fully expecting to eat it once he got home. to his surprise, seungkwan reached for the spoon in the cup and fed him while the older boy drove. his heart fluttered at the gesture, which was silly, but he couldn't (he wouldn't) deny how he felt. he was too old to be denying his feelings.

seungkwan's giggles rang loud in mingyu's ears every time mingyu narrowly avoided the spoon that seungkwan was trying to shove into his mouth. the older boy quickly shot the younger one a playful glare as he said, "let me finish telling my story!"

"but your ice cream is melting!" seungkwan shouted back, clearly smiling despite how annoyed he sounded.

seungkwan maneuvered around his seat belt, despite mingyu's loud protests of if we crash, you're gonna regret doing that, and pulled his legs back so he could sit closer to mingyu. seungkwan grinned as he scooped out the last bit of ice cream out of the styrofoam cup and held it out to mingyu. 

mingyu slowed to a stop when the upcoming traffic light changed to red. the older boy moved his own seat belt and leaned over to stuff the spoon into his mouth. his eyes widened comically when he saw how close his face was to seungkwan's, the younger boy's face displaying the same expression. something flashed in seungkwan's eyes and– oh, he just looked at mingyu's lips.

the two boys jumped back in their seats when they heard a car honk behind them. the younger boy quickly pulled the spoon out of mingyu's mouth and sat back in his seat with a small cough. mingyu didn't get to spend too much time thinking about what just happened because the same car honked at them again. the older boy let out an audible sigh as he focused on the road and drove off. 

mingyu didn't know how to break the silence. was he supposed to? why was seungkwan so silent? he glanced at the younger boy and asked, "was that all of it?" mingyu cursed internally at how small his voice sounded. luckily for the older boy, seungkwan didn't seem to notice the mousy quality of his voice.

seungkwan snapped out of his thoughts and looked down at the small cup in his hands. the younger boy scraped the contents in the cup and let out a small hum. "yeah, that was everything, hyung." he mumbled.

seungkwan glanced at mingyu and blinked in surprise when he saw mingyu was already looking at him. the tips of seungkwan's ears felt warm as he bit the inside of his lip and looked away. his eyes roamed around the car for a moment, looking for something to distract him. his eyes landed on the small brown bear stuffed toy the older boy had dangling on his rearview mirror.

seungkwan reached out to touch the toy and smiled at the soft quality of the stuffed animal. he pulled it off of the mirror and smiled at mingyu as he said, "hyung, this is so cute."

"do you want it–"

seungkwan couldn't help the loud groan that he let out. he threw the small animal at mingyu's face as he said, "stop giving me your things!"

mingyu scrunched up his face cutely as he glanced at seungkwan. "what? why are you making it seem like i just give you all of my things?"

seungkwan sat back against his seat with a huff. "hyung, i swear. if i asked you for the shirt on your back, you would give it to me."

mingyu's eyes quickly widened as he glanced at the younger boy. "do you want my shirt?" he asked as he began to unbutton his shirt with his right hand.

seungkwan let out a loud laugh as he grabbed mingyu's hand and put it back on the steering wheel. "put your hands back on the wheel, idiot!" he shouted.

mingyu glanced at seungkwan's hand on his own and felt a smile grow on his face. he linked their hands together and pulled the younger boy's hand off of the steering wheel. he let their hands drop onto the console and looked over at the younger boy. his smile brightened at the confused look on seungkwan's face.

mingyu supposed that it wasn't right to hold hands with seungkwan, but he could only have so much restraint with the younger boy before his affection came off of him in waves. and if the waves were just barely lapping at their feet, or just something simple like holding hands with the younger boy, then so be it. it was either that or doing something that would change the trajectory of their relationship, and mingyu was unsure if he wanted to do that.

the two boys remained silent for the remainder of the drive, each of them lost in their own thoughts. mingyu tried not to pay attention to seungkwan's other hand slowly enveloping their joined hands. the older boy just glanced at the younger one and gave his hand a squeeze.

soon enough, mingyu pulled up to seungkwan's apartment. seungkwan, who had his eyes on their hands, opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he heard footsteps heading towards the car. he looked up and felt his eyes widen when he spotted his boyfriend stomping in the direction of the car. the younger boy quickly pulled his hands away and scrambled to take his seat belt off.

seungkwan hurriedly climbed out of the car, and before he could say anything, wonhyuk cut in with, "what's going on out here?"

seungkwan shook his head as he placed his hands on wonhyuk's chest and gently pushed him away from the car. he smiled coolly as he said, "nothing, baby. mingyu was just driving me home."

mingyu climbed out of the car and rested his arms on the roof. his smile was strained as he begrudgingly greeted the older man.

wonhyuk didn't even spare mingyu a glance. he looked irritated as he felt seungkwan continue to push him back. he shoved the younger boy's hands away as he said, "yeah, but i'm more concerned about why."

mingyu furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at the older boy's words. he looked at seungkwan in search of some answers, but the younger boy was frantically looking between them with an anxious expression on his face. he felt himself straighten up at the look on seungkwan's face. though he was confused, he could tell that seungkwan was on edge, and that alarmed the older boy immediately.

wonhyuk was annoyed by his boyfriend's silence. he rolled his eyes as he grabbed seungkwan by the arm and shoved the younger boy behind him. he locked his eyes on the other boy as he said, "thanks for driving him, but you don't have to do that anymore." he looked over his shoulder and shot his boyfriend a glare. "his car has been fixed for over a week."

mingyu squinted his eyes suspiciously at the older boy's behavior. it wasn't the first time he had seen wonhyuk acting aggressively with seungkwan, but he had no other reason to think that seungkwan was in any actual danger, so he just kept his wild thoughts to himself. just because he didn't like the older boy for seungkwan didn't mean that he had to accuse him of anything.

mingyu quickly cooled his expression into something more calm, though anyone could see the concerned twitch in his eyebrow. he forced a smile onto his face as he waved the older boy off dismissively. "oh. well, it was no problem. i'm at the diner so often. it was the least i could do for him." he said with a light tone in his voice, though he was quickly growing irritated by the older boy's harsh reaction.

wonhyuk forced a smile of his own. he reached around him and pulled seungkwan to stand under his arm. the younger boy's shoulders shrank as he stood next to him. the older boy paid no mind to it as he said, "well, thanks anyway. he'll be driving himself from now on."

mingyu glanced at seungkwan and felt a frown begin to form on his face. he quickly shook it off and nodded at the older boy. he let out an inaudible sigh as he kneeled down to climb back into his car.

wonhyuk tightened the already vice-like grip he had on seungkwan's shoulder and turned to lead them back inside. the two boys paused as they heard mingyu call out, "see you tomorrow?"

the couple turned around to face mingyu. the boy had a cheesy grin on his face as he locked eyes with seungkwan. the youngest couldn't think about anything else but that smile. it was the only thing he could focus on.

seungkwan probably should have been more tactful, especially considering that wonhyuk was around. but it didn't matter. it shouldn't have mattered. it was just a smile. but seungkwan couldn't help but grin as well and murmur, "see you tomorrow."

mingyu nodded in response and quickly climbed back into his car. he didn't drive off until he saw the two of them walk inside, much to the oldest's annoyance.

mingyu's smile slowly fell as he turned his car back on and drove away. he vaguely remembered some of his work friends inviting him over for drinks, so mingyu tried his hardest to remember their address as he continued to drive.

mingyu parked his car in front of the familiar house, feeling his mood begin to lift slightly as he climbed out of his car. he jogged up to the house and knocked on the front door. he blinked in surprise when the door was opened with a shout from one of his closer work friends, seokmin.

seokmin had his signature grin on his face as he wrapped himself around mingyu and clumsily pulled the boy further inside. mingyu groaned as seokmin pressed a sloppy kiss to his cheek. he tried his best to shed his shoes off as seokmin pulled him further inside the house.

mingyu looked over seokmin's shoulder and had an embarrassed look on his face as he saw the rest of their friends sitting in the living room, each of them watching in amusement as mingyu tried to gently nudge seokmin off of him.

chan, one of the teaching assistants at the school, grinned as he grabbed a beer and poured it into a glass. "hyung! what took you so long?" he asked as he handed the glass to mingyu.

mingyu was too busy holding seokmin away at arms length to grab the glass. he chuckled as he walked to the couch and sat down. "i was driving seungkwan home." he said as he grabbed the glass that chan was still holding out to him.

mingyu pulled the glass up to his lips and took a sip. he jumped slightly when he heard a chorus of groans ring around the room from everyone. he looked offended as he put his glass down onto the table in front of him. before mingyu could even think of a response, seokmin flopped down onto the seat next to him and lightly punched him on the shoulder.

mingyu clutched his shoulder dramatically as he shot a glare at seokmin. the boy, who was clearly drunk, didn't back down as he said, "seungkwan again? how long have you been on this train?"

mingyu scrunched up his face in confusion. "what train?" he asked, looking around the room for some answers.

jeonghan, the oldest of the group, rolled his eyes at the younger boy's obliviousness. "the seungkwan train." he said, taking a sip of his beer to avoid the younger boy's questioning gaze.

seokmin nodded in agreement. he slapped a hand to mingyu's left shoulder as he said, "yeah, the seungkwan train." he lazily held up his other hand and pulled it down, mimicking the action of pulling a train whistle. he grinned goofily as he said, "choo choo."

joshua, not a teacher, but jeonghan's best friend who hung out with their group often, waved the younger boy off. he kept his eyes locked on mingyu as he said,  "ignore him, we're being serious."

mingyu did what joshua said and ignored the boy, who was still making train noises, as he gently pushed him aside. he pointed an accusing finger at his friends and asked, "how did he get drunk this fast?"

joshua slapped a hand over jeonghan's mouth, already knowing the boy was ready to recount the embarrassing details. he smiled awkwardly as he cast a glance at seokmin. "his boyfriend came to visit him during nap time, and one of his kids woke up and saw them kissing."

mingyu let out an ooh as he winced. he quickly wrapped an arm around seokmin and pulled the boy into a comforting embrace. he had an amused look on his face as he gave the boy a few pats on the head.

seokmin let out a sniff as he placed his head on mingyu's chest. he pouted as the memory of the long afternoon came back to him. "minseokie told everyone in class, and they spent the rest of the day asking me why i was kissing a man."

jeonghan bit the palm of joshua's hand in protest. while the boy pulled away with a loud gasp, jeonghan waved seokmin off and said, "sorry, seokmin. we'll get back to your problems. there's more dire things happening at the moment."

mingyu tilted his head in confusion. "no, there's not?" he said. he wasn't stupid. he knew what they were referring to, but he wanted to avoid the conversation at all costs. they had it so often, despite knowing that mingyu had no plans on changing his mind on the entire situation.

chan squinted his eyes at the older boy. "so you didn't just come back from dropping off the man you've been hopelessly in love with for seven years?"

seokmin lifted his head from mingyu's chest, no trace of sadness in his voice as he interjected with, "it's been longer than that." 

mingyu cupped seokmin's face and forced the boy to face him so he could see the look of betrayal on his face.

jeonghan nodded as he chimed in. "yeah, mingyu's been hung up on this guy longer than we've even known him."

mingyu's mouth fell open as he watched his friends get into a heated debate about how long exactly mingyu had been trailing after seungkwan. he felt his face heat up in embarrassment, obviously knowing the real answer but completely unwilling to tell his friends for the sake of his sanity.

mingyu just waited for them to settle down to respond. in that time, he thought about all of the time he had spent with seungkwan. he smiled softly to himself as he said, "i'm not going to just give up that easily, guys. if i did, then it wouldn't be real."

joshua cooed sympathetically at the younger boy. his smile was insincere as he said, "that's admirable. but dumb. doesn't he have a boyfriend?"

mingyu rolled his eyes at the mention of seungkwan's boyfriend. he raised his glass to his lips as he grumbled, "he's a joke." he swallowed his gulp and set his beer down, shrugging to himself as he said, "if i really tried to pursue seungkwan, that man would be out of the picture in a snap."

seokmin couldn't help but roll his eyes, having been the only one that heard mingyu's grumbling due to their close proximity. he slapped the boy on the thigh as he said, "then, why don't you?"

mingyu looked up at seokmin, then at the rest of his friends. he quickly hung his head down as he shook it. "i can't." he shrugged to himself as he hurriedly picked up his glass and took a large gulp. "it's better this way. i would rather have him as a friend than as nothing at all. it probably wouldn't work out, anyway." he mumbled solemnly.

jeonghan had a sympathetic look on his face as he reached over and placed a comforting hand on mingyu's knee. "how do you know that?"

mingyu didn't answer. the group sighed and eventually changed the subject back to seokmin, who dramatically slumped against mingyu again as he recalled the memory from earlier.

mingyu kept thinking about jeonghan's words for the rest of the night.

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mingyu really hated change.

he wasn't so stiff that he couldn't accept changes in his life, of course not. he was an adult who, for the most part, was well-equipped with the proper mental facilities to handle whatever life threw at him.

that is, mingyu used to think that way. 

mingyu strolled into the diner with a grin on his face. his entire demeanor brightened when he spotted seungkwan behind the counter looking through his notepad. mingyu walked up to the bar. his steps slowed the closer he got to the bar, and he could properly register the slumped shoulders and the frown on seungkwan's face.

mingyu didn't think further about those things, though. he was in such a sour mood from the night before, and the only thing that could fix it was being around seungkwan. he drummed his fingers on the bar as he sat on his favorite stool. "good morning, kwan." the older boy chirped as he fully settled onto his seat.

seungkwan let out a shout at the sound of mingyu's voice. his notepad fell to the floor, and his other hand flew up to clutch his chest. mingyu let out a tiny yell in surprise as well, startled by the younger boy's reaction. he held out his hands as he asked if the younger boy was okay.

seungkwan quickly knelt down to grab his notepad, along with his pen that rolled away. he kept his gaze elsewhere as he stood up. "yeah!" he cleared his throat. "yeah, i'm sorry."

mingyu nodded slowly. he squinted at the younger boy as he said, "okay..." he looked around seungkwan and saw that the coffee pot was empty. "no coffee?" he said with a cute frown.

seungkwan didn't respond. he only nodded as he turned around and grabbed the coffee pot out of the machine. mingyu watched the boy turn the nearby faucet on and fill the pot with water. the older boy watched seungkwan silently work on the coffee. something about the younger boy seemed off to mingyu, but he was unsure if he should bring it up.

someone behind mingyu whistled to grab seungkwan's attention. mingyu cast a curious glance over his shoulder and felt his shoulders go rigid when he spotted wonhyuk seated at the table directly behind him. the older boy smiled at mingyu when their eyes met, but both of them knew that the smile was insincere. 

wonhyuk held up his hand and snapped loudly as he called out, "babe, where's my coffee? i've been waiting for a while."

seungkwan made his way to wonhyuk's table with a pitcher of water in his hands. he reached out and scratched behind wonhyuk's head and said, "i just started a new pot, baby."

wonhyuk hummed in response. he directed his attention back to his phone, signaling the end of their conversation. seungkwan sighed as he walked away to check up on his other tables.

mingyu couldn't believe what just happened. he quickly turned around in his seat and directed his glare at the plastic menu in front of him. he eventually looked up when he spotted someone grabbing the mug in front of him. he looked up and watched as seungkwan pulled the freshly brewed pot of coffee and poured him the first cup. the younger boy also pulled two creamers and one sugar packet out of one of the pockets in his apron and slid it over to mingyu.

seungkwan opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut when he heard a loud cough from behind the older boy. he knew who it came from, the accompanying snap was proof enough that it was his boyfriend. he shot mingyu an apologetic smile as he handed the older boy a spoon before he walked away.

mingyu looked down at the spoon in his hand. he didn't want to make it seem like he was snooping on their conversation, but he couldn't help his curiosity. he strategically tilted the spoon until he could spot seungkwan and wonhyuk, the two upside down figures showing that seungkwan was pouring the older boy a cup of coffee. mingyu didn't find many answers in the spoon, so he sighed and decided to focus on his coffee.

"where is my food?"

"let me check on my other tables first–"

"no, go check on my food."

mingyu felt his hand grip the coffee mug tighter. his ear perked up when he heard the kitchen bell ring repeatedly, signaling that there was food in the window. mingyu heard the younger boy sigh in relief as he walked around the bar. seungkwan put the coffee pot back and quickly grabbed the two plates from the window, coincidentally belonging to mingyu and wonhyuk.

mingyu smiled when he spotted his plate of food in seungkwan's hand. he sat up straight and waited expectantly for the younger boy to place the food in front of him, along with his usual witty remark. he tried not to take it to heart when seungkwan gently placed the plate in front of him, avoiding mingyu's gaze as he brushed past him towards wonhyuk's table.

mingyu looked down at the plate and let out a sigh. he knew he had to get to work soon, so he just ate his food with a frown on his face. he hoped to check in on seungkwan, but the younger boy kept avoiding his seat for the entirety of mingyu's time there.

mingyu only managed to get seungkwan's attention when the younger boy had no choice but to stand in front of him while he made another pot of coffee for the other customers. the older boy smiled to himself as he dug around in his pocket and pulled out the stuffed animal that seungkwan was playing around with the night before. he held the toy in front of his face and waited patiently for the younger boy to look his way, a sly grin on his face as he stared at seungkwan's back.

seungkwan eventually turned around and took a step back in surprise. his face quickly morphed into a silly grin as he excitedly reached out for the toy. he looked between the toy and mingyu as he said, "you brought it back!"

mingyu nodded fondly. "yeah, i knew you liked it a lot, so i wanted you to have it." he held up a hand when seungkwan opened his mouth to protest. he shook his head as he said, "it's fine, kwan. i only bought it because it reminded me of you."

mingyu avoided seungkwan's questioning gaze as he looked down and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. he quickly pulled out a few bills and left them on the counter as he stood up from his seat. he coughed loudly and dramatically stretched his arms over his head. "well, seungkwan, i have to go." he glanced over his shoulder, and, sure enough, wonhyuk was looking at him. he smirked as he faced seungkwan again. he shot the younger boy a wink as he said, "some of us have jobs to get to. i'll see you later."

seungkwan's eyes widened as he looked up at mingyu. he smiled awkwardly as he said, "um, actually... i'm not working tonight."

mingyu blinked rapidly in surprise. he tilted his head as he said, "you're not?"

seungkwan glanced around mingyu and spotted wonhyuk intently watching them. he let out a deep breath as he directed his attention back to mingyu. "yeah, wonhyuk is taking me out tonight." 

mingyu didn't know how to respond to the new information. he nodded slowly and forced a smile onto his face. "well, have fun. i'll see you tomorrow?"

seungkwan pressed his lips into a thin line. his eyes fluttered sadly as he mumbled a, "yeah."

mingyu opened his mouth to say something but decided otherwise. he raised a hand and awkwardly waved at the younger boy before he quickly left the diner. his shoulders bunched up to his ears as he stomped to his car. he didn't fully understand the tension from the past half hour or why seungkwan seemed to be avoiding him, but all he knew was that he felt embarrassed. 

he hoped that wonhyuk wouldn't be there the next day.

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wonhyuk wasn't there the next day, or the next, or the next. but it didn't seem to matter. seungkwan was still keeping mingyu at arms length, his answers short and his reactions dialed back. it was like he wasn't even the same seungkwan that mingyu knew.

mingyu didn't like it one bit.

the older boy did everything he could to bring a smile to the younger boy's face. he cracked jokes, he told humorous stories, he even not-so-accidentally tripped over a chair. okay, that last one did manage to crack a smile out of seungkwan, but it was gone before mingyu could fully register it. 

was this seungkwan's way of letting mingyu know that he didn't want to be friends anymore? well, unfortunately for seungkwan, mingyu wasn't going to let that happen unless the younger boy physically said the words.

so mingyu stood behind the diner well after they closed, lurking in the shadows, like a creep, while he waited for seungkwan to emerge from the building. his ears perked up when he heard footsteps and the tell tale humming of the younger boy slowly coming from around the corner.

mingyu quickly stepped out of the shadows and stood in front of seungkwan, the younger boy understandably jumping back in response.

mingyu grabbed seungkwan by the shoulders and opened his mouth to recite the speech he rehearsed while he waited for the younger boy, but he halted when he saw the sad look in the younger boy's eyes. he smiled sympathetically and pulled the younger boy into a hug, seungkwan letting out a huff in surprise.

seungkwan tried to look up at mingyu as best as he could as he asked, "why are you hugging me?"

mingyu shrugged as he tightened his embrace around the younger boy. "i don't know. you just look like you needed a hug." he murmured into the crown of seungkwan's head.

seungkwan frowned as he looked back down. he did need a hug. though he could hear his brain telling him to step away, seungkwan ignored all of his senses, except for the one begging him to hug mingyu back. he tentatively wrapped his arms around mingyu's middle and let out a sigh as he leaned further into mingyu's frame.

the two of them stood there for a while, neither of them wanting to be the one to break the hug. seungkwan eventually stepped back with a cough. he avoided mingyu's gaze as he pointed a thumb at the car behind him. "thank you for the hug, but i should really head home."

"did i do something to upset you?"

seungkwan looked up and regretted it immediately when he saw the way mingyu visibly deflated. seungkwan cursed internally at himself. mingyu didn't deserve this.

seungkwan feigned ignorance as he shook his head and said, "i don't know what you're talking about, hyung."

mingyu frowned and mumbled, "yes, you do." he crossed his arms over his chest as he asked, "is it wonhyuk? because if he doesn't like that we're close, then tell him that i said that he needs to get over it."

that made seungkwan crack a smile. mingyu was never so happy to see someone smile.

seungkwan stared intently at mingyu as the older boy began to rant. he wasn't fully listening, but he did manage to make out the older boy saying something about his boyfriend and how he needed to mind his business. he frowned to himself as he thought how wonhyuk would react if he knew that they were talking.

seungkwan really didn't want to go home. he had been dreading returning home every night, knowing that all that waited for him was his lazy boyfriend and their filthy apartment that wonhyuk refused to clean despite being there all day. he didn't have the energy to deal with it

seungkwan didn't know how much longer he could live like this.

the younger boy eventually tuned back into the older boy's rant, catching the tail end of it as mingyu said, "... and i want you to be happy because you're one of the best people i know, and you deserve better. i want you to see that." seungkwan looked down as mingyu reached out and held his hands. he looked up and locked eyes with mingyu as the older boy mumbled, "i need you to see that."

seungkwan felt like he had no control over his body as he wrapped a hand around the back of mingyu's neck and pulled the older boy down into a kiss. the younger boy pulled away with a gasp, his hands flying up to his mouth as he repeated a muffled apology to the older boy.

mingyu gaped down at the younger boy, at a loss for words as he watched seungkwan shrink into himself. he let out a breath and murmured, "you shouldn't have done that, seungkwan."

seungkwan slowly dropped his hands. he gulped and looked down as he mumbled, "i know."

mingyu shook his head quickly, not that the younger boy even saw him do it. "no, i'm saying you shouldn't have done that because now all i want to do is kiss you."

seungkwan snapped his head up to look at mingyu. his voice was faint as he said, "mingyu?"

mingyu reached out a hand to seungkwan's face and gently cupped the younger boy's cheek. he rubbed his thumb gently on the soft skin as he said, "i'm serious."

seungkwan froze at the hand touching his face. he couldn't take his eyes off of mingyu. "... i know." he murmured.

of course, he knew. seungkwan wasn't dumb. he saw all of the stolen glances. he remembered all of the thoughtful gestures over the years. but he knew he couldn't do anything about it, even if he wanted to. he wasn't even fully sure if he wanted to do something about it.

seungkwan kept his eyes on mingyu as he took a few steps back. mingyu took it as a sign from the younger boy that they needed to put some space between them. but this was the closest he ever got. he finally got a taste of seungkwan, and he wasn't ready to pull back yet.

mingyu took a few steps forward and cupped the younger boy's face with both of his hands. he pressed a soft, but lingering kiss to seungkwan's lips. he wanted to do more, but he knew now wasn't the time.

mingyu smiled as he pulled back. he wiped a thumb across seungkwan's lips as he stepped away and said, "next time you kiss me, you better be single."

mingyu didn't wait to see the younger boy's reaction. he just stuffed his hands into his pockets and briskly walked away. his heart pounded at his previous actions. he couldn't help the grin blooming over his face as he thought about what just happened. how close he got to be to seungkwan. he hoped he could get closer soon.

Chapter Text

one of the first things that mingyu noticed about seungkwan was his bright eyes.

it would have been hard not to notice them. it caught his attention almost immediately. the younger boy's eyes reminded him of his infant nephew's bright eyes. mingyu, who was a troublesome teenager upon their first meeting, was confused about how it was even possible for someone's eyes to shine so bright. 

mingyu first strolled into the diner one night after cram school. his parents gave him a few bills to spend on late night snacks after school, and the boy was tired of the convenience store sweet potato and banana milk combo, so he decided to try something new for a change. what he didn't expect was to see a boy around his age standing behind the counter, eyes bright and smile wide as he talked to the customers in the diner.

mingyu didn't know why those eyes stood out to him so much. maybe because many people his age had lost that sparkle, from their academic expectations, and just general teen angst usually having squashed those sparkling eyes and general wonder for the world. but not the waiter at the diner, not seungkwan. the young boy was so lively, and mingyu was immediately drawn to him.

and thus, the decade-long tradition began for mingyu and seungkwan. as time passed, and they grew close to each other, they slowly began to adapt to each other, taking note of the others' wants and needs. in their mind, it was the most wholesome form of friendship, but there was always a lingering feeling in the recesses of their minds that it was always deeper than that. and whether or not either of them were brave enough to take the next step was up to them.

mingyu wasn't sure when exactly he began to see the sparkle begin to dull. maybe in the past year or so. mingyu wanted to write it off as the two of them getting older, but something about that didn't seem to be a good enough answer to him. 

mingyu wasn't foolish enough to think that he was just going to swoop in and save seungkwan from the younger boy's troubles. life came with troubles, and some of them had to be experienced, but he couldn't help but be stubborn and fantasize of a timeline where he would come in swinging and rescue seungkwan from his worries. anything to preserve that sparkle.

as expected, nothing in life was easy. seungkwan had free will, just like mingyu, and was now exercising his right to avoid mingyu at all costs.

mingyu noticed it right away. the morning after seungkwan pulled him into a kiss, mingyu thought that things would be different between them. there was an obvious pep in his step when he stepped into the diner the following day, but he noticed seungkwan's absence right away. the man watched as one of the newer waitresses ran around the large diner, juggling empty plates and an empty pot of coffee in her hands as she ran behind the counter. 

mingyu had half a mind to turn around and leave, but he quickly ignored that feeling, along with the feeling in his gut telling him that something was wrong, and sat down in his usual spot. he ordered his usual plate and drank his two cups of coffee. they tasted weird, wrong. the steak was overcooked, the eggs were runny, and the coffee tasted burnt. mingyu texted the younger boy and asked if he was alright. seungkwan never responded.

seungkwan wasn't there that night, either. this went on for another week. 

mingyu heard some of the waiters whispering about seungkwan behind his back. he felt the harsh eyes on the back of his head, saw their fingers sneakily pointed at him. one of them said seungkwan asked me to take his shift this morning. was it because of that guy? and the other waiter would just nod and say a sympathetic yes. and then they would just return to work as if nothing was wrong.

mingyu pretended like he couldn't hear them, but the damage was already done.

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seungkwan hated his daily routine.

what was he supposed to like about it, specifically? every day, he woke up to the shrill sound of his alarm, or his boyfriend grumbling at him to turn his alarm off. his showers were either too hot or too cold. he went to work and got yelled at, and he always managed to get ketchup or syrup on his hands. he always smelled like cooking oil. and when he got home, he had to clean up after his boyfriend and give him his leftovers (that he brought for himself) because wonhyuk just couldn't be bothered to cook for himself.

his life wasn't always this way, but it quickly became all that he had known. it was hard for him to remember what life was like before. and in return, it was hard for him to look forward to what was to come. would it just be more of this? was he going to be at this diner forever? was he going to be cleaning up after wonhyuk forever?

the only thing he had to look forward to were those brief blips in his day when mingyu was at the diner. the older boy with the endless stories of his wacky students and his even wackier friends. the older boy with the affinity for life. the older boy with the sparkling eyes.

but seungkwan just had to go and mess up the one good thing in his life by kissing it. kissing him.

how was he supposed to face mingyu after that? he couldn't. he wouldn't. he did everything he could to avoid the older boy. he begged his manager to only have him work the lunch shift when mingyu wasn't available, and he begged his coworkers to take the remainder of his shifts. it worked for a week, but eventually, he had to face the music. he used to love the music, being around mingyu, but now all he wanted was some silence.

when the two met one random tuesday night, both of them tried their hardest to act like nothing even happened. they spoke in short sentences to each other. mingyu ate his dinner and left. and yet, he was still kind as ever, which confused seungkwan. he expected the older boy to be rude or to even confront him, but he did neither of those things. the older boy just shot him a smile and bid him a good night.

seungkwan left work that night with a lot on his mind.

the boy let out a small sigh as he toed off his shoes and hung up his coat. the strap on his bag slipped off of his shoulder, and he tried to shimmy it back up his shoulder. he accidentally dropped the box of food in his hand in the process. the boy glared at the box as he kneeled down to pick it up. he had half a mind to leave it there, but he didn't want the food to go to waste, so he just picked it up and walked further into the small apartment.

seungkwan barely had one foot in the living room when he heard a loud tsk and a finally. he stared blankly at wonhyuk, the older boy sitting among a pile of clothes on the floor. he watched the older boy stand up, clutching and waving a crumpled shirt at seungkwan as he shot out, "why didn't you fold my stuff? i told you to do it this morning, seungkwan."

seungkwan zoned out as the older boy continued to rant about how lazy he was. his mind couldn't help but drift off to mingyu. he was sure that the older boy kept his apartment tidy. the older boy probably washed his own laundry and folded and put the clothes away instead of leaving them lying around. seungkwan knew that that was the bare minimum, but wonhyuk couldn't even be bothered to do the bare minimum. wonhyuk didn't do anything. he didn't even make seungkwan happy.

mingyu did.

"get out." seungkwan finally mumbled.

wonhyuk dropped his arm and let out a scoff. "what?"

seungkwan angrily tossed the to-go box onto the coffee table, silently thanking himself for managing to land it properly. he pointed a finger at the door as he said, "get out!" a part of him felt satisfied at the cautious step back the older boy took. he felt a sudden surge of confidence course through him, and suddenly, he no longer felt scared. there was a ghost of a smile on his face as he shouted, "get out of my apartment, you unrepentant child!"

wonhyuk let out another scoff. he had a look of disbelief on his face as he said, "child? i'm literally older than you." 

seungkwan walked around the living room and crouched down to grab the older boy's clothes. he threw the clothes one item at a time with purpose at the older boy as he continued, "yeah, and you don't fold your own laundry or clean up after yourself." he ignored the older boy's shouts and added, "i'm not even your boyfriend, i'm your maid. i'm not even getting paid for this shit, a-and i quit!" 

wonhyuk finally stepped away from the mound of clothes that seungkwan was throwing at him. he held up his hands in surrender and slowly walked up to the younger boy, a worried look on his face as he said, "woah, hold on–"

seungkwan pressed his hands to wonhyuk's chest and harshly shoved the boy back. "get out of my apartment, asshole! call one of your buddies to come get you."

seungkwan didn't wait to see wonhyuk's reaction and turned around to storm off to his room. after a few minutes of wonhyuk storming around the living room, the younger boy eventually heard the front door open. the door slammed close, and seungkwan finally felt like he could breathe again. his back slid against the door, and he fell to the floor slowly. he let out a few breaths to calm his racing heart.

he did it. really? was it really that easy?

seungkwan suddenly felt his body grow cold. what was he supposed to do now? could he text his friends? he had no friends. he lost them long ago after wonhyuk insisted that seungkwan didn't need them in his life. seungkwan was so naive back then. he didn't see that the older boy did that because seungkwan's friends despised the older boy.

seungkwan had burned so many bridges. with his friends, with mingyu.

well, seungkwan could fix those things. baby steps, though. he had a feeling that texting his friends might go down easier.

seungkwan was suddenly glad that he never deleted soonyoung's number. he clicked on the older boy's contact and typed out a shaky i broke up with wonhyuk. he locked his phone and gently dropped it to the floor, anticipating that he wouldn't get a quick response from the older boy. they hadn't spoken in over two years, and seungkwan was so harsh when he cut ties with the older boy and all of their friends. he was fine with waiting– oh, he got a text.

fucking FINALLY!!! the text said, quickly followed with another text with an egregious amount of cheering emojis and hearts. seungkwan slapped a hand over his mouth, surprised by the loud laugh he let out. he scrambled to type a reply but froze when he saw a text from minghao pop up a few seconds later. so, i heard that you broke up with the man child. immediately after, a text from his oldest friend, seungcheol, beeped from his phone. i just heard the news. i'm so proud of you, kwan. i know that must have been hard. the young boy felt tears well up in his eyes at the messages flooding to his phone. he never realized how silent his phone had been. he didn't realize how much he missed it.

seungkwan spent the rest of the night texting his friends. he got added back to their groupchat and they all acted like nothing had changed between them. well, besides the exciting news that seungkwan finally dumped the sorry loser. soonyoung's words, though seungkwan couldn't help but laugh and agree.

seungkwan felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders when he finally laid down to sleep later that night. in a way, a weight had been lifted. he finally broke up with his boyfriend, he made up with his friends. things were finally starting to look up. he closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, a smile on his face as he thought back to what he accomplished in one night.

then his eyes flew open. he forgot something. someone. mingyu.

◇※◇※◇※◇※◇※◇※◇※◇

seungkwan woke up peacefully the following morning, for the first time in what felt like forever. it was silly, but the younger boy actually felt lighter. the curtains were wide open for the first time in years, they had always been left shut by the older boy, who hated natural sunlight for some strange, unidentified reason. 

wonhyuk was literally keeping seungkwan in darkness, but seungkwan still persevered despite that. wonhyuk took away his friends, his morning sunlight, his leftovers, his general joy for life. and despite that, despite the darkness, seungkwan grew.

seungkwan had never been so excited to get out of bed.

the boy bounced around his apartment while he got ready for work, which was still messy from the night before, but he waved it off and decided to clean it all up later. he didn't even let the mess affect his mood. for the first time in a long time, he finally felt content, like he mattered.

but seungkwan's mood quickly went south when he got to work. he parked his car and sat there for a while, his eyes locking on the employee parking only sign hung up on the brick wall ahead of him. he thought about what was waiting for him once he stepped foot inside. or rather, who.

seungkwan glanced at his wrist watch and gasped when he saw the time. he quickly climbed out of his car and ran inside the diner through the employee side door. he managed to clock in just in time. the boy grabbed his apron from his shelf and tossed his bag inside, letting out a sigh in relief as he tied his apron around his waist and headed out to the kitchen. with his two americanos in his hands, he put one away in the fridge and then walked out to the dining area.

seungkwan's eyes fell on the man he was anticipating running into. no words were exchanged between the two, despite seungkwan's initial decision to confront the older boy and apologize for his behavior. they did exchange smiles, though. despite the weird tension, mostly coming from seungkwan, they still smiled at each other. it was almost like they could never be mad at each other.

seungkwan didn't know how to start. did he have to admit that he was avoiding mingyu because of the kiss he pulled mingyu into? it seemed so immature. they were both in their late twenties. the idea of avoiding someone over something so small seemed so ridiculous. and considering the long time they had been friends, it seemed almost inconsiderate.

it seemed like mingyu could sense the storm brewing in the younger boy's mind. seungkwan was absentmindedly pouring sugar into the sugar shakers, his eyes unfocused as he stared at something in distance. mingyu saw that the shaker was filling up quickly, and he scrambled over the counter to grab an empty shaker and stuff it in the younger boy's hand. seungkwan snapped out of his daze when he felt mingyu gently pry the full sugar shaker out of his hands and place it on the counter. the two boys exchanged smiles. seungkwan silently thanked the older boy as he began to fill up the new shaker.

mingyu didn't know how to move past the awkward moment, so he just looked down as he took a sip of his coffee. he cleared his throat as he lowered the mug, his eyes focused on the younger boy who was intently paying attention to the sugar shaker. mingyu chuckled quietly at the focused look on seungkwan's face. the younger boy looked up at him curiously and mingyu laughed again as he waved him off.

mingyu still had a smile on his face as he said, "so, jiwonie drew another masterpiece for us." 

seungkwan bit the inside of his cheek to keep the smile on his face from getting too big. he looked up expectantly and watched as mingyu pulled out and unfolded a piece of paper. the younger boy's face scrunched up as he looked at the picture. there was a rainbow, of course, but there were also two stick figures on the page, one much larger than the other.

seungkwan smiled curiously as he grabbed the paper and inspected it. "is that supposed to be you and jiwon?"

"you have a keen eye, sir." mingyu said, his smile softening as he watched seungkwan's shoulders lift up slowly.

seungkwan looked between mingyu and the piece of paper. he looked confused as he mumbled, "why don't you have any legs?"

mingyu gasped indignantly and snatched the paper out of seungkwan's hands, as if the younger boy had somehow scorned him. "are you judging our jiwonie's artistic abilities?" he said dramatically.

seungkwan bit back his smile as he rolled his eyes. "no, i'm not judging our jiwonie. i'm just pointing out the obvious."

mingyu tsked loudly and shook his head at the younger boy. "you're such a hater." he folded up the paper and put it back in his pocket, a smug look on his face as he added, "i'm adding it to my mural."

seungkwan held up his hands in surrender and let out a quiet laugh. he opened his mouth to respond but snapped it shut when someone loudly snapped their fingers. he looked up and noticed one of the customers shaking an empty sugar shaker in the air. he smiled apologetically at the older boy, who waved him off dismissively with a smile.

seungkwan walked around and dropped off full shakers at each table, smiling at each customer who quietly thanked him. some other customers held him back and sent him off to grab something for their table. seungkwan nodded and walked away with a long list of things to grab for everyone. he was so busy that he didn't get to say good bye to mingyu. he tried not to think too much of it. the older boy probably saw how busy he was and didn't want to bother him.

seungkwan didn't want to spend the rest of the day stressed out about mingyu, so he just threw himself into his work. he made sure to take a break and have lunch, feeling energized from having a proper meal. he even went outside for some fresh air. it was crazy that even these normal things were new to him. seungkwan wasn't really used to taking time for himself.

the time seemed to fly and suddenly mingyu was sitting in front of seungkwan. the younger boy tried his hardest to seem like he was at ease, but it was obvious to the both of them that he was not. it was hard for seungkwan to trick mingyu.

mingyu sent the younger boy a smile while he ate his food. he tried his hardest to ignore the way the younger boy was intently staring at him. but as the night stretched on, it was becoming hard to pretend like it wasn't happening.

was this seungkwan's way of reaching out? mingyu quickly shook his head at the thought. seungkwan was always pretty good at communicating his feelings. if seungkwan was trying to reach out, he would have done it already, clear and direct.

but things were different now. seungkwan was different, and mingyu couldn't believe how long it had taken him to realize that. of course, seungkwan was different. there was no way he would be the same person mingyu once knew. and mingyu wasn't the same person seungkwan knew, either.

mingyu hated change, but maybe he could grow to accept this change. the two of them had evolved since they were in high school. but first, he needed to accept his losses and give seungkwan the space he clearly wanted. they had plenty of time to work out their issues.

mingyu's head snapped down to his lap when he felt his phone vibrate. he furrowed his eyebrows as he pulled his phone out of his pocket, his face cooling once he saw that it was seokmin calling him. it was pretty empty in the diner, so he accepted the call and pressed it to his ear.

mingyu tried to pay no mind to seungkwan's eyes snapping towards him. "hey, what's up?" the older boy said into the phone.

seokmin's voice sounded distant, as if he were holding it away from him. "hey, we're at your place! where are you?"

mingyu tilted his head in confusion. he bit back a laugh as he responded with, "i'm at the diner, duh."

there was some loud shuffling on the other line, accompanied by seokmin's loud protests, and then immediately followed with jeonghan's voice saying, "you're at the diner? cool, we're on our way."

mingyu straightened up in his seat and rapidly shook his head. he didn't need his friends meeting seungkwan, especially considering how weird things have been between the two of them recently. he cleared his throat in an attempt to calm his racing thoughts and said, "hold on, i didn't even invite you guys over! you guys definitely aren't allowed to come here."

seungkwan turned around and decided to make a new pot of coffee. he strained his ear to listen to the conversation, but it proved to be pretty useless since he could only hear mingyu's side of the conversation.

on the other side of the phone call, jeonghan cooed loudly and said, "aww, are you worried that we'll embarrass you?"

"yes, obviously. just–" he glanced up at seungkwan. mingyu felt conflicted as he watched the younger boy make coffee. he knew that he just decided to give the younger boy the space he wanted, but as he stared at the back of seungkwan's head, he realized that he didn't want space. he wanted to be in seungkwan's space. he wanted to be the air that seungkwan breathed.

but mingyu wasn't going to force seungkwan. if he really cared about seungkwan, he wouldn't want to. so he let out a sigh and dropped his head as he mumbled, "just wait there. i'll be there in like fifteen minutes."

mingyu hung up quickly and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. he didn't even get to finish his dinner. he kept that in mind to guilt trip his friends with later.

mingyu stood up and wiped his hands with a napkin. in that same moment, seungkwan hurriedly grabbed the new pot of coffee and walked around the counter. the younger boy's ankle caught onto the leg of a chair, and he tripped a little. mingyu luckily caught him in time and held the younger boy steady.

mingyu chuckled faintly as he said, "careful, kwan. can't have you twisting your ankle again."

seungkwan looked up at the boy with a soft look on his face. he couldn't believe that the older boy even remembered that. it happened so long ago, even seungkwan barely remembered that it happened.

the older boy shot seungkwan a faint smile. he looked away sadly and murmured, "bye, seungkwan." and with that, the older boy was gone.

he didn't say 'see you tomorrow'

seungkwan hated routines, but not this part of it. he always thought it was so cheesy that the two of them developed that habit, but he always looked forward to hearing it every day. it was one of the constants in his life that gave him hope. he would see mingyu the next day. he would continue seeing mingyu, at the diner where they always were.

but mingyu didn't say it this time.

seungkwan looked around frantically for one of his coworkers. he caught the eye of the new waitress, the name of he had not learned yet, and rushed over to hand the girl the pot of coffee. "i have to go. tell the manager to call me."

the young girl let out a loud protest, but her shouts fell to deaf ears, the older boy already untying his apron and running out the front door.

seungkwan jogged up to the older boy's car, thankful to see that mingyu hadn't even entered his car yet. mingyu was too busy texting on his phone to see seungkwan sneaking up on him. the older boy let out a loud shout when seungkwan grabbed his arm and forced him to turn around.

mingyu clutched a hand to his chest. he panted dramatically as he yelled, "seungkwan?! what the hell?"

seungkwan couldn't even fully register that the older boy was irritated, his mind focusing on what he was about to do. he smiled as he asked, "do you really have a mural full of your kids' drawings?"

mingyu finally seemed to get his heartbeat at a regular resting rate, though that exhilaration was quickly replaced with confusion. he knew he mentioned the mural earlier, and he had mentioned it a few times it in passing, but why was the younger boy bringing it up now?

mingyu tried to mask his confusion as he said, "yes...?"

seungkwan took a brave step forward. his eyes shone as he said a soft, "... can you show it to me?"

mingyu felt himself pause. he wasn't sure about seungkwan's sudden interest in the mural, but all of those thoughts of confusion went away when he saw the look in seungkwan's eye. that familiar sparkle, though faint, was there again. mingyu grinned. he thought he would never see it again. he nodded vigorously and said, "yes. absolutely."

seungkwan grinned and let mingyu lead him to the passenger side of the car. the older boy opened the door for seungkwan, and just as the younger boy was about to slide in, he shot up straight and turned to look up at the older boy. he had a cute smile on his face as he beamed up at mingyu and said, "oh, shoot. i forgot something."

mingyu opened his mouth to ask what the younger boy forgot, but immediately clamped his mouth shut when seungkwan grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him down. mingyu quickly cupped the younger boy's face and closed the gap between them, their lips meeting in a messy kiss.

seungkwan quickly pulled back with a chuckle. "i'm so forgetful. my bad."

mingyu snapped out of his daze when he saw seungkwan turning to sit down on the car seat. he rolled his eyes at himself and grabbed the younger boy by the arm. seungkwan blinked innocently up at the older boy as mingyu gently pulled him back to his feet.

"i forgot something, too." mingyu managed to squeeze out before he leaned down and kissed seungkwan this time.

seungkwan let out a noise in surprise, his hands immediately flying up to the older boy's waist. he slowly closed his eyes and felt himself melt into mingyu as he dragged his arms up and looped them around the older boy's shoulders.

mingyu smiled as he leaned back with a hum. he pressed a few pecks to the younger boy's lips as he mumbled, "i am also forgetful."

seungkwan grinned as he leaned his chin onto mingyu's chest. "we should really work on that." he said teasingly, feeling flustered as the older boy leaned down and pressed another peck to his lips.

seungkwan stood on his toes and cupped the older boy's face. he pressed their foreheads together, a shy smile on his lips as he said, "so, i broke up with wonhyuk."

mingyu chuckled as his hands fell to seungkwan's waist. "i hoped so."

seungkwan chuckled as well and stood back on his feet. he felt a little nervous as he pulled his hands away and began to play with his fingers. "and i don't really feel like going back to my place right now. do you mind if i hang at your place for a while?"

mingyu couldn't even protest if he wanted to do. with the way seungkwan was looking up at him, he felt himself nod dumbly and say, "yes, of course. move in with me."

seungkwan laughed out loud and pushed the older boy away. "chill out, mingyu." he smiled cutely as he looked away. "we have plenty of time for that later. for now, i just want to take my shoes off and chill out."

mingyu nodded in understanding and shot the younger boy a smile before he sprinted to the other side of the car. he opened the door and froze immediately, his mind suddenly remembering that his friends were at his apartment. he looked up at the younger boy and shot him an apologetic look as he said, "my friends are at my place. do you mind? i can't really ask them to leave."

seungkwan shrugged as he crossed his arms. "that's fine with me. i've always wanted to meet them, anyway."

mingyu nodded slowly. despite the younger boy's approval, he couldn't help but feel anxious at the idea of his friends meeting seungkwan. he was sure that they would embarrass him in front of the younger boy, and things were finally starting to go in the direction mingyu wanted them to go. he didn't want to spend the night hiding in shame at the undoubtedly embarrassing stories seokmin and jeonghan would tell seungkwan.

seungkwan read the anxious look on mingyu's face, and normally, he would have been concerned. the younger boy slowly remembered the fragments of the conversation he heard earlier and quickly connected the dots. his grin widened as he leaned forward and said, "are you scared that your friends are going to embarrass you?"

mingyu didn't get to answer because seungkwan let out a mischievous chuckle. his stomach did a flip as the younger boy sent him a smirk and said, "i've known you since we were teenagers, hyung. i have way more embarrassing stories of you than they do. you should be scared of me."

mingyu's face fell as the younger boy climbed into the car and shouted, "well, let's go!"

mingyu spent the rest of the car ride begging seungkwan to go easy on him. the younger boy did not go easy on him, and neither did seokmin and jeonghan. mingyu spent the entire night hiding his face in his hands.

seungkwan would sometimes pause his story telling and press a kiss to mingyu's cheek. the older boy eventually stopped caring about the stories and kept his focus on seungkwan. he couldn't keep his eyes off of the younger boy, which was quickly pointed out by seokmin, the boy pointing an obnoxious finger at him as he loudly announced that mingyu wouldn't stop staring at seungkwan.

while the others loudly teased the two of them, mingyu and seungkwan caught each other's eye. they smiled giddily at each other and sneakily linked their hands together as they tuned back into the conversation.

mingyu smiled to himself while seungkwan stroked his thumb across his knuckles. he pulled the younger boy's hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss to them, which quickly got seokmin and jeonghan's attention. they loudly squealed and mocked their actions, which mingyu and seungkwan couldn't help but find funny.

they could make fun of them all they wanted, but it didn't matter to them. the storm clouds had finally cleared. everything seemed much, much brighter now.

mingyu looked in seungkwan's eyes. yeah, much brighter.