Chapter Text
7:10 PM:
They’re parked in front of Aoba Jousai shopping plaza, near the exit.
Tsukishima throws on his favorite black ski mask, sports glasses hidden safely underneath.
“You guys ready?”
Kuroo was tying up his pink plastic cat mask while Bokuto adjusted the straps on his horned owl one. Both of their masks showed their hair from the back. At first, Tsukishima used to protest, saying that their ‘crazy hair would be easily identified by the police, you idiots’. He stopped trying when Bokuto told him one night, right before heading towards Dateko bank, that he would ‘rather look rad and get arrested than look uncool and be forgotten’. Tsukishima made an incredulous expression, and told Bokuto that no one would forget being robbed, but he was dutifully ignored.
Tsukishima sighed, knowing his efforts would be futile, and settled for a simple insult. “You guys look childish.”
“At least we don’t look like some kind of fob,” Bokuto replied with a grin.
“You’re the fobbiest robber,” Kuroo added.
“Fobby robber, huh…”
“Kou, he’s a fuckin’ fobber.”
“Tetsu, BRO!”
Tsukishima cut in before they got too proud about their new pun. “Listen, are we gonna rob this plaza, or not? It’s getting late.”
“Oh crap, right,” Kuroo opened his bag, grabbing three guns. “Here, take these.”
Tsukishima can feel the adrenaline running through his body, but he never shows the excitement on his face. Kuroo once asked him if he ever got nervous, and Tsukishima replied with a scoff, saying that there was nothing to be nervous about. His plans were always impeccable, clean getaway after clean getaway. They were known in the news as the infamous ‘Three Musketeers’, never seen without each other and always coming to aide when another was in trouble.
“Wait,” Tsukishima stopped the two from getting out of the car. “You guys remember the plan, right? We’re taking four minutes, don’t be late.”
“Kei-”
“And ALWAYS keep your gun aimed at someone,”
“Ke-”
“And don’t you dare let anyone pull a phone out-”
“KEI!” Kuroo interrupted. “Stop acting like such a mom! We’re older than you, you know.”
“Besides, we can’t take you seriously in that mask.” Bokuto sniggered, Kuroo smirking along with him.
They all opened their doors at the same time, Tsukishima muttering ‘I’m not a mom’ under his breath as he ran towards Yamaguchi Jewelry, and watched Kuroo and Bokuto as they made their way towards GameGo and Fukurodani Dentistry respectively.
7:17 PM:
Bokuto’s inside and all is going pretty smooth until he spots the receptionist. He’s young looking, probably in his 20s, with thin dark eyes framed with thick lashes, dark messy hair, and the reddest pair of lips he’s ever seen. Bokuto just stops, gun pointed at the (unlucky) one of three patients, a dumbfounded guy with close cropped hair, mouth open so wide that his tongue piercing was clearly visible.
“Hands...in the air?”
The receptionist quirks an eyebrow, probably expecting Bokuto to be a bit more confident. He slowly raises his arms, and Bokuto can’t help but think how nice and soft looking his hands are.
He tears his eyes away from quite possibly the prettiest guy he’s ever seen to looking around the waiting room, fearful eyes watching him expectantly. Oh. Right.
“I-I’m gonna steal something!”
The receptionist stifled a laugh, eerily calm for someone who was at the risk of getting seriously injured, or even killed.
“Are you, now?”
Bokuto melted a little at the man’s light, fluttery voice, and walked towards the receptionist’s desk. At this, the receptionist hesitated, and stepped back.
“N-no, don’t be scared,” Bokuto quickly assured. “I’m just gonna take something. Wouldn’t hurt you.”
Bokuto was shocked at his words, but felt like he couldn’t shoot this guy, he was too...familiar. The man, Akaashi, as Bokuto saw on his name tag, dropped his hands.
“But I didn’t say you could drop your hands.” Bokuto said firmly. He wasn’t that stupid.
“There is no risk of me informing the police. Wouldn’t do that.”
‘Akaashi could be trusted’ Bokuto thought, one hand on the desk, and the other holding onto the gun, still miraculously aimed at Close-Cropped. He felt a sense of security in those almost black eyes, luring him in like a snake charmer.
He snapped out of it, and shook his head a few times, clearing his head of the dirty thoughts that were about to seep in.
Suddenly, a dental assistant popped out of the examination room to announce the next patient. “Terushima-san?”
Shit, he was still trying to rob the place! In his haste, Bokuto quickly grabbed the nearest thing and made a run for the door, back towards the car where they were supposed to meet two minutes ago. Bokuto hoped that they hadn’t left him.
“Wait!” he heard Akaashi yell. He didn’t look back.
7:17 PM:
Kuroo entered ‘geek heaven’ as he called it, and lazily held up his gun.
“Alright, you fuckers, hands in the air.”
There was no one in the store, save for a kid with pudding hair, focused on some game in his lap. Kuroo sighed and sauntered towards the counter. “Hey you, didn’t you hear me? I said hands up.”
The kid finally looked up, large, golden cat-like eyes eyes staring piercingly into his. His hair fell a bit into his face, as he licked his lips.
“Hm?” He asked, head cutely cocked to the side.
“Oh, well hello kitten.”
“And who are you supposed to be?”
Kuroo was a bit taken aback with the bored tone in kitten’s voice. “Well,” he said, reading the boy's name tag. “Kenma-kun, who do you think I am?” He lazily tossed the gun up in the air.
Kenma’s nose twitched at the use of his first name. “Uh...are you from that new game- Animal Kill, I think? And don’t call me Kenma.”
Kenma thinks he’s a cosplayer.
He’s got a gun in his hand, black catsuit on, and he thinks he’s a fucking cosplayer.
He’s got his awesome pink cat mask on and Kenma thinks-
Oh.
Animal Kill.
That makes sense.
“Mhm, yep I’m from Animal Kill,” Kuroo assured, taking this as a great opportunity to make conversation with the pudding head. “Good game. You should play it.”
“Maybe I will. That’s a pretty cool mask.”
“Why thank you,” he drawled, winking.
“No problem.” Kenma stared right back. Kuroo had his seduction level up to the max. Why wasn’t Kenma getting all flustered? Oh right, he thought. The mask. He was turning into more of an idiot than Kou.
He took it off and ruffled his hair in that way he knew turned people on. “So whatcha playin’?”
Kenma’s eyes widened as he quickly looked down at his DS. “I-I’m playing Pokemon.”
Kuroo grinned and inched closer to the inside of the counter, where he could see the screen of the console. “Is it fun?”
He could feel Kenma’s eyes on his face as Kuroo looked at the Pokemon battle on the screen, his Espurr against a Gengar.
“I like it.”
Kuroo flitted his eyes towards Kenma, golden eyes once again enrapturing him. He couldn’t shake the feeling of the intense eyes being on him before.
“Do I know you, Kenma?”
“I don’t believe so,” he refocused on his game. “But we can fix that.”
The Gengar took a critical hit from the tiny Espurr, and Kenma smiled a little.
7:17 PM:
Tsukishima burst into the store with an air of calculating confidence.
“Everyone, hands in the air!”
The people in the store, a young couple and a rowdy looking employee with a shaved head, all stopped what they were doing and put their hands up. Good.
“Don’t move, or I’ll shoot.” Tsukishima has never fatally shot anyone, but if he has to, he will. He inspects the glass, gun trained at the employee. The glass had little sensors attached to the edges, meaning he couldn’t break it, unless he wanted alarms to go off. There was a small keyhole, however. “Alright, give me the key, baldy”
“I don’t have it.”
“Don’t lie to me. There needs to be someone with the key working, so where is it?”
“I’m telling you, no one here has the key right now.”
“Then why are there customers here?”
“They were just here to look.” Baldy glared at him defiantly, and Tsukishima gave him a satirical grin.
“Nice try. Hey, whoever’s in the back! If you don’t come out, I’ll shoot everyone in here!”
“YAMAGUCHI, NO!”
“What’s all the racket?” A figure slammed open the backroom door and swiftly walked to the counter, not once looking up. “Do we have a new cust- oh.”
Tsukishima was going to turn his gun to aim at the assumed owner of the store, but stopped short when he realized how big and sparkly his eyes were, the shade of his favorite brand of milk chocolate. His long chestnut brown hair flowed softly around his sharp, artfully freckled face, ending a bit above his waist.
If Tsukishima was gonna look at any diamond in a jewelry shore, it was this guy.
Holy fuck that was cheezy.
He looked like a deer in headlights, slowly putting his arms up, understanding and fear slowly seeping into his eyes.
Tsukishima felt something pang in his chest. For some reason, he didn’t want Yamaguchi to be afraid of him. But, he had a job to do. “Give me the key.”
“I-I,” he stuttered, stepping back. “I don’t have it?”
“Give me the fucking key.”
“Right, sorry.” Yamaguchi hands him the key. Tsukishima regrets cursing at him, eyes boring into the freckles on the back of his bony hands. He takes the key and looks into his eyes once more. Yamaguchi looked back at him with a hurt expression. Why? Tsukishima doesn't know Yamaguchi, and Yamaguchi doesn’t know him. He hesitates for a moment. And throws the key at Baldy, who catches it, completely baffled.
Yamaguchi’s hurt turns into shock and confusion. “You’re not gonna…?”
He walks backward with his gun still trained, and shakes his head, looking at the ground in shame. Pathetic. He couldn’t do it.
“But why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you just change your mind or something?”
“SHUT UP!” Tsukishima roared, icy glare turning unbearably heated as he looked at him for the last time, throwing open the door and running towards the car.
“Sorry…” he heard Yamaguchi mumble behind him, and he couldn’t fathom why Yamaguchi would be the one who’s sorry.
7:23:
Bokuto ran out of the dentistry, bells clanging wildly above him. He saw Tsukishima and his ridiculous mask across the parking lot, and made a mad dash towards him.
“KEI! SHIT, WE TOOK TOO MUCH TIME.”
“I know you dickwad,” he panted. “Where’s Kuroo?”
They both looked towards GameGo, and started sprinting towards there instead.
“Tetsu,” Bokuto screamed, bursting into the store. “We’re overtime ohmygod before the police get here, let’s go.”
Kuroo was leaning over a counter, smirking at the cashier, who was rolling his eyes and laughing at something.
“Hm,” Kuroo glanced Bokuto. “Oh, OH SHIT OKAY MAN WHERE’S KEI.”
“He’s outside, quick let’s go.”
“Okay, okay, uhm. I’ll talk to you later kitten," Kuroo ties his mask back on. "We’ve got a little cosplay gathering to get to!”
The two ran outside and once again, darted across the parking lot towards the car, just missing the two figures coming out of Fukurodani Dentistry and Yamaguchi’s.
“C’mon, hurry,” Tsukishima hissed, starting up the car, and exited the lot before the two could buckle up.
7:25:
Akaashi followed the black car with his eyes until it was out of sight. He noticed a figure to his left, and saw Yamaguchi anxiously speed-walking towards him. He must have been robbed (or had been attempted on), too.
“Yama,” he called out in greeting, both of them stopping in front of GameGo. “Did you see those three?”
“Yeah, the one in the ski mask tried to rob my store, but he backed out at the last minute.”
“Ah, same with the man in the owl mask...,” Akaashi hesitated as he told Kenma. “I didn’t call the police. I told the others not to, either.”
“Same, actually.” Yamaguchi mumbled, obviously embarrassed by his carelessness. Kenma popped his head out of the door.
“Why are you two standing outside my shop?”
“Kenma, didn’t those robbers come out of your store?” Yamaguchi fixed him with a questioning gaze.
“Robbers? You mean Kuro and his friend? They said they were going to a cosplay gathering.”
“Kenma, those three were criminals. The other two tried to rob Yamaguchi and I.”
“I bet they were just trying to show off their cosplay.”
“Wouldn’t they have all gone to GameGo then?”
“...they wanted a varied audience?”
Akaashi sighed. “The tallest guy was wearing a ski mask. That didn’t look like cosplay to me.”
“Well, Kuro just made conversation with me. He didn’t even try to steal anything. And I gave him my number.”
“You WHAT?!” Akaashi is going to go crazy.
“Wait, wait!” The two of them looked towards Yamaguchi, who was as pale as a ghost. “Those guys weren’t cosplayers…”
“Yes, I thought you were clear on that?”
“Did anyone pay attention to how ridiculous they looked?!” Yamaguchi thought of how dumb the robbers’ outfits looked, especially the one in the ski mask, who was wearing glasses under.
“Oh god, they weren’t cosplaying. They were actually committing crime, dressed like that.”
“Nothing is sacred.”
7:30:
They’re on the freeway, steadily driving towards their shabby apartment complex on the bad side of town.
Bokuto gnawed at his fingers anxiously. “We didn’t steal anything, do you think they would call the police?”
“Well, there’s no one on my tail yet, so I think we’re okay.” Tsukishima replied, finally settling back into the uncaring, calm demeanor he usually possessed.
“Did anyone even take anything?”
“Oh, yeah,” Bokuto reached into his pocket and took out the item he hastily grabbed on the way out. “I took a...a denture replica?”
“Pffft, bro, what the fuck?”
“Oh man, I just grabbed whatever. I swear the receptionist was so hot, and I just got so embarrassed barging in there like I owned the place…”
“Aww, Kou, emo mode again?”
“I fell in love with a random guy!”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I fell in love with AND gave my phone number to a random guy.”
“You WHAT?!” Tsukishima wants to cry.
“Did you steal anything, Kei?” Tsukishima’s outrage was once again ignored. His grip tightened on the steering wheel. He didn’t really like his two partners, but he could never lie to them.
“What, did the same thing happen to you?”
“...”
“Ice prince, of all people.”
“I just couldn’t,” he mumbled. “You should’ve seen the look on his face. I would’ve regretted it.”
The two looked at Tsukishima like he had grown another head.
“Oookay. He’s sharing his feelings.”
“Shut up.”
“But y’know, I couldn’t even get around to stealing. Kenma just pulled me in, and I forgot all about it. It’s like I had seen him before or something.”
“Bro, me too!”
“Same.”
The two gave that look to Tsukishima again. “Well, you’re on a roll, aren’t ya?”
“Again, shut up.”