Archive of Our Own ^beta

This version of Ominis didn’t like him for some reason, which was truly a shame because Sebastian quite liked his partner, Phineas Black. No, not that Phineas Black. The headmaster’s son, in fact. Yes, that one. 

Not that Phineas liked Sebastian all that much either. They both seemed to adore Damien though. It was the little things. 

Speaking of Damien, where in Merlin’s name was he? Sebastian pulled his pocket watch out of his robe and glanced at the time. Damien should have been here fifteen minutes ago! He sighed. That was, frankly, on Sebastian. He should have told Damien an earlier time to ensure he wouldn’t be late.

Phineas and Ominis were chatting amongst themselves on the sofa in the communal Undercroft, the one that served as a portal between the various universes. Yes, that was a thing that had been established last year. It was all very timey-wimey, and not something that Sebastian really wanted to think about right now. 

Phineas and Ominis though… What sort of scheme were they up to? Sebastian hadn’t the foggiest idea, but it nagged at him. 

Even though they seemed to barely tolerate him, Phineas and Ominis had agreed to go on a double date with Sebastian and Damien today. To be perfectly honest, Sebastian had been somewhat hesitant to agree to the idea, mainly because he found Ominis and Phineas’s relationship a tad bit confusing. It was far less established than Sebastian and Damien’s, likely because in their universe it seemed that the wizarding world wasn’t as accepting of same-sex relationships. At least from what Sebastian could tell. But Sebastian digressed.

They were whispering again, probably about him. You know what? Sebastian was going to address the Erumpent in the room. 

“Hey!” he said, interrupting the two lovebirds’ secret plotting. “Why do you hate me so much?”

Ominis’s mouth formed a straight line. He… glared? No, not exactly. Obviously. But the sentiment conveyed was certainly one of deep loathing. Phineas brought his hand to his mouth, presumably to hide a chuckle. Oh yes, he was definitely laughing. The telltale eye crinkle gave it away. 

“Hate is a very strong word,” Ominis said.

Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s accurate though, right?” 

“Oh yes, it’s quite accurate.” 

“I thought so.” 

Phineas placed a hand on Ominis’s thigh, patted it lightly, then said, “Ominis—”

“Don’t worry, Phineas. I’m not going to tell him why.”

“What? Why not?” Sebastian scoffed, miffed but also taken aback. That seemed rather unfair. It wasn’t like he’d known either of them long enough to invoke such animosity. At least, he assumed. 

“Who knows what divulging that sort of information would do to our various universes,” Ominis stated.

“We’re here, fraternizing with each other,” Sebastian said. “I’m quite certain it would be fine.”

Ominis hummed thoughtfully. “Alright, fine. You caught me out. I don’t really care. I just don’t think you deserve to know."

“Bash doesn’t deserve to know what?” Damien said, ducking under the gate leading into the Undercroft as it creaked open. He never waited for it to open fully before entering. Most likely because he was always rushing to meet up with people on account of his habitual tardiness.

Phineas laughed. “I’ll never get used to you calling him ‘Bash.’”

“Why? It suits him.” 

“Maybe it suits your Sebastian,” Phineas replied, removing his hand from Ominis’s thigh and waving it in the air in a nonchalant manner, “but certainly not ours.”

Damien was only half listening as he had leapt over to Sebastian and drawn him in for a deep kiss, even going so far as to dip him slightly. Sebastian would have protested if he hadn’t been struck dumb by Damien’s enthusiasm. Instead, he surrendered to the kiss, totally and fully. Damien had a tendency to make him more compliant than usual. Not that he’d ever admit that out loud. 

When he’d recovered, and adjusted his trousers accordingly, as they were, erm, rather tight and uncomfortable now, Sebastian said, “Someone’s in a good mood.”

“Damien’s always in a good mood,” Phineas piped back in, jumping up from his spot on the sofa. “That’s why we like him so much. Well, one of many reasons.” 

As Damien’s cheeks flushed, Ominis added, “He also doesn’t pester us with asinine questions.” 

Ominis then followed Phineas’s lead, just slower and more deliberately, wiping ash off his robes, since earlier Phineas and Ominis had been smoking. 

Sebastian always found that fascinating to watch. He might have asked to “borrow” a cigarette, to give it a go, if he knew they wouldn’t turn him down outright. He vaguely wondered if Damien would find Sebastian smoking alluring. Come to think of it, probably not. Damien had a fondness for the outdoors: fresh air, the fragrance of blooming flowers, all the simple pleasures nature offered. Not that Sebastian felt the need to always please Damien. No, of course not! He was his own man. 

“Earth to Sebastian,” Ominis said, stepping toward the exit. “Phineas asked you a question.”

“Oh!” Sebastian stammered as Damien chuckled beside him. “I missed it. Mind repeating that?”

Phineas grinned. “I wanted to know if you’re always this besotted. It might convince me to like you more, in fact.”

Sebastian opened his mouth to offer a barbed retort, then closed it, then opened it again. How was one supposed to respond to that? Was it an insult or a compliment? A little bit of both?

Damien answered for him. “Sebastian may not admit it, but he’s very romantic.” 

“Am I?”

Damien grabbed his hand and squeezed. “You said you loved me first.” 

“I did, didn’t I?” 

“The circumstances weren’t ideal, but yes, you did.”

Sebastian laughed nervously. “Well, I’m glad you don’t fault me for the circumstances…”

“Never." Damien squeezed his hand again and pecked the apple of his cheek. Sebastian felt his face grow hot, betraying him.

Ominis and Phineas were silent, their heads tilted to the side, echoing each other in their curiosity. “Care to divulge that story?” Ominis asked. 

“Hm,” Sebastian said, tapping his chin thoughtfully with his free hand. “I think not.” 

“Fine, like I care,” Ominis shot back, sweeping through the now open gate, his robes whipping behind him. 

Sebastian snickered under his breath. Two could play that game. 

***

Ernie Lark was in top form today. Most likely because Damien had thrown a sack full of Galleons his way, so he was playing every single instrument he owned, which was truly a wonder to behold. How anyone managed to juggle so many, even with magic, was beyond Sebastian’s comprehension. But, to be fair, he didn’t have a talent for music. That was more Damien's forte. 

Sebastian, Damien, Ominis, and Phineas were enjoying tea outside on this brisk spring day at Steepley and Sons Tea Shop. Damien sipped his Earl Grey, hot, with the lightest dusting of sugar and cream, per usual. Sebastian’s tea was also sweet, but much, much more so: six cubes of sugar, no less. He typically forewent cream, but today was the exception. He poured some in right now, distracted by Damien’s hand on his thigh, kneading it gently. So distracted was he that it took him far too long to notice his tea was overflowing and spilling out onto the lace tablecloth. Oops.

Phineas raised a brow, but kept silent. The lack of verbal chastisement was more for Ominis’s sake than Sebastian’s. At least Sebastian assumed. For Ominis and Damien were leaning back in their chairs, their eyes closed, their heads bobbing along with the music, completely enraptured. Damien and Ominis had similar taste in music, it seemed.

Phineas and Sebastian glanced at each other knowingly. Some camaraderie for once; how novel! 

Ernie finished his set. Ominis and Damien came back to life to clap for his stirring performance. Damien was a bit more enthusiastic with his praise. Okay, a lot more. He could be quite energetic when he was in good spirits. Sebastian found it incredibly endearing. He glanced down at his lap to hide his smitten expression. 

But alas, he was too late. Someone had seen. 

“Bash, care to share with the class?” Phineas asked.

“Share what?” Sebastian fidgeted in his chair, then grabbed his tea cup and downed the whole thing in one go. It was a wonder he didn’t choke. 

Ominis took a much smaller sip of his tea, then set it back down on the table delicately. “Up to no good, Sebastian?”

Phineas merely chuckled.

“Lies! Lies and slander!” Sebastian retorted. “I was not.” 

“Bash, what were you doing?” Damien interjected, his tone wary.

“Not a thing, I assure you! Why is it that I’m always suspected of some underhanded enterprise?”

All three responded in unison:

“You’re a scoundrel, that’s why.” That was Ominis, of course. 

Phineas next: “Don’t ask me! I’m innocent.”

“Well…” Damien! Even Damien! Et tu, Brute? 

Sebastian pouted. “It’s unjust, that’s what it is. Unjust!” 

“Aww, Bash, come here,” Damien said, reaching out for Sebastian with his long arms. 

Sebastian scooched his chair back. “No.”

Damien, however, would not be so easily deterred. With a decisive lean forward, he seized the armrest of Sebastian’s chair and effortlessly tugged him back into place. Then, in his usual manner, he cupped Sebastian’s head in his hands and placed a light kiss upon the tip of his freckled nose. “There. Better?” he inquired. 

Sebastian grumbled. Phineas chuckled as he explained to Ominis what Damien had done, then Ominis, too, burst into hearty laughter. 

Sebastian exhaled in resignation. Well, better to be the butt of everyone’s joke than scorned, or ignored entirely, he supposed. 

Come to think of it… If he could worm his way into Ominis and Phineas’s good graces, perhaps they’d reveal why they held him in such contempt. Yes, yes… He needed to know. And Sebastian would find out, no matter how much of a fool he had to make himself. The things he endured for the sake of knowledge. 

***

Damn, Damien was already suspicious. Perhaps Sebastian had overplayed his hand. 

“Sebastian,” Damien said, “I can’t exactly stroll through the gardens with your arms draped over my shoulders. What was wrong with merely holding hands again?” 

“I just wanted to be closer to you,” Sebastian tried, kicking himself internally.

Damien shrugged out of Sebastian’s firm hold. “Mhm, a likely story.” He narrowed his eyes. 

This was Ominis and Phineas’s fault! If they were just a bit more romantic with each other, Sebastian’s attempts wouldn’t stand out like a Mandrake being pulled out of a pot in the library. Oh, there was an idea… 

No, Sebastian! Focus! 

Damien must have been thinking along the same lines, as he cleared his throat and said, “Ominis, Phineas, I know it can be difficult to express yourselves when you’re so used to… well, holding back, but truly, there’s no need for that here. You can just be yourselves.” Damien finished with a sympathetic pat on Ominis’s back. 

Sebastian braced himself for Ominis to protest—vehemently, at that—so he was beyond shocked when Ominis simply nodded. Curtly, of course, but still. Then, without a word, Ominis extended his hand for Phineas to take.

Phineas’s eyes widened. He clasped Ominis’s hand without hesitation. As he did so, his face broke out into a stunning smile.

“Thank you, Damien!” Phineas exclaimed. “I knew I liked you.”

Sebastian sighed. He was doing a lot of that today. He didn’t bristle at the undue praise for Damien though. That wouldn’t do. Not if he wanted his plan to pan out.

“So,” he began, drawing out the word longer than he probably should have, but he was thinking, dammit! “Care to explain to me why you dislike me so much now?” Sebastian might be a cunning Slytherin, but impatience, ultimately, won out.

Ominis was about to open his mouth, probably to say no, when the unlikely quartet were interrupted by… Sebastian. Another one, that is. Intriguing.

“Ominis!” 

Ominis swiveled around at the ferocity in the other Sebastian’s tone.

“Where’s Carolyn?” Sebastian’s other self exclaimed, wiping away at a bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. Had he run all the way here? 

Sebastian inspected his counterpart up and down, then down and up. My, this Sebastian was rather fit, wasn’t he? And tall… How was he so tall? By Salazar’s beard, could he spare an inch or two? It wasn’t like he needed it. Ominis was tall and he somehow even towered above him! 

“How am I supposed to know?” Ominis spat back, dropping Phineas’s hand. Phineas’s face fell. 

The other Sebastian stared at the empty space that now separated the pair. “What are you doing?” he asked, his bushy brown eyebrows raised. 

Sebastian was feeling a bit dizzy. He wasn’t sure he liked seeing his counterpart in this state. He wasn’t sure if he liked seeing his counterpart at all. Especially since he was so dashing. The anger part was also a bit disorienting. He couldn’t recall the last time he was this furious. He certainly had his moments, but that was before Damien, before Anne was cured. 

“Who’s Carolyn?” Damien asked, breaking through Sebastian’s musings. Good question, D. Good question. 

The other Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Damien, and then stumbled back upon spotting Sebastian next to him. Ah, there it was. 

“You’re me,” he said to Sebastian. 

“Ten points to Slytherin,” Sebastian replied. 

For two beats, his counterpart merely stood there, jaw slack. But then, he shook his head, and resumed his interrogation of Ominis, bearing down on him like a troll in a china shop. 

Hah! Sebastian was having a grand time with these similes. 

“Tell me where Carolyn is right now.” 

Ominis huffed indignantly. Phineas’s face was growing redder with each passing second. And then, Phineas burst. “He’s telling the truth, Sallow!” he yelled. “Get over yourself. We don’t know where Carolyn is.”

Sebastian’s curiosity was, officially, piqued. “Is someone going to tell us who Carolyn is—?” He barely got the words out before Damien slapped a hand over his mouth and yanked him backward into a bush of lacewing flies.

Clearly, Damien hadn’t realized what was behind them, as they both promptly toppled backward onto their arses, ending up in a tangled heap of limbs. 

The other Sebastian, Ominis, and Phineas, however, remained oblivious, too absorbed in their shouting match to notice. 

What in Merlin’s name was going on? This was nothing like Sebastian’s usual dynamic with Ominis, although, to be fair, his Ominis was happily dating his twin sister. Maybe Anne had a calming effect on him somehow. If that was the case, Sebastian would have to remember to thank her later.

“Do you think we should say something?” Sebastian whispered into Damien’s ear. 

“No, Bash. I don’t think that would be wise.” Ah, Ravenclaw wisdom. How predictable. 

“Hm, okay. Well, we could, erm, steal a kiss or two… or thirteen? While we wait, that is,” Sebastian suggested, crossing all his (metaphorical) fingers and toes. It did seem like they were going to be waiting a while. 

Damien rolled his eyes. “Yes, Sebastian. Excellent plan. Let’s lock lips while our friends engage in a heated argument right next to us.”

“Your friends, you mean.”

“They’re your friends, too.”

“Hardly! They merely tolerate me. You do know that, don’t you?” 

Damien gave him a pointed look, but he didn’t answer the question. 

Sebastian continued. “It’s the truth, D. They’d rather spend time with you than me. You’re the one they actually like.”

Damien gestured in the direction of the other Sebastian, who stood further down the path, glowering at Ominis and Phineas with his hands on his hips. He was still prattling on about that Carolyn girl. He must really be obsessed with her if he was this fixated on her whereabouts. Sebastian couldn’t help but notice the irony though—he was certainly one to talk, considering he’d been known to kill for Damien. But, of course, that was beside the point.

“What do you expect, Bash? That’s their Sebastian.” Damien shrugged. “Just continue to be yourself and I’m sure they’ll come around. You can be obsessive and dramatic, maybe even a little bit intense sometimes, but you’ve gotten a lot better over the past year or so.” He stared down at his hands. “For some reason,” he added, not glancing back up. 

“Hey,” Sebastian said, bringing his hand to Damien’s chin and lifting his head up. “Thank you.” 

“Thank me? Why?” 

“The reason is you, D. The reason is you. But you already knew that, didn’t you?”

Damien flushed. “I didn’t want to presume—”

Sebastian cut off his words with a kiss. 

A Sebastian might have been the problem, but it certainly wasn’t him. He was a bundle of joy. Naturally. Carry on.