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Lucy finds herself once again at Tim’s door, her fist raised as she debates whether or not to knock. They said they wouldn’t do it again, they couldn’t do it again. But god—just feeling Tim’s lips back on hers, his hands roaming her body. She closes her eyes and thinks of everything that happened last night from Tim knowing exactly what to do. To it feeling like they had never been apart.
To the pure ecstasy that she felt as he moved inside of her, as he kissed and worshipped every single part of her body like it was his own. The way he never let up until she came and fall back exhausted.
The way he pulled in her close and kissed the top of her head and she wanted to stay there but somehow she found her self rolling away in the middle of the night.
Just feeling like she was on top of the world again, because she missed him. She missed him a lot. And it’s more than just the sex part, it’s more than that.
She just misses him.
And when she left the hotel room, she felt different like she wanted to go back and talk, but the door shut and—
She takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.
Once.
Twice.
The door opens, and Lucy swallows when she sees him. He’s still in his clothes from after work. He looks more relaxed—and a little confused.
“Hey.” He says. “You okay?” Lucy nods and shuffles her feet a little. Tim steps aside to let her in. Lucy pauses and turns to look at him as he shuts the door. He’s looking at her like he did at the gala, like she was the only one that would ever matter.
“I’m—” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “About last night.” Tim faces changes in an instant, and it goes from confusion to softening.
“What about it?” He asks. Lucy swallows and walks past him into the living room and then turns to face him again.
“I—don’t know.” Lucy says, feeling a little defeated. She doesn’t regret it. She would never regret it. But she never thought she would be here with Tim of all people.
She never thought she would be wanting to talk about their hookup. She never thought she would even be here standing in his house, feeling like the ground was going to swallow her up.
Because Tim was looking at her like that—again.
“Do you regret it?” Tim asks. “Because if you do—” Lucy shakes her head and steps towards Tim; it’s a big step.
“I don’t.” She says. “I don’t regret it, but—”
“But?” He questions her.
“I regret not talking about it. I didn’t know—it wasn’t the right time.” She says. “And that sounds like an excuse, but it’s not—”
Tim steps closer to her, his eyes never leaving her face. “What do you want, Lucy?” Tim asks. Lucy steps closer too because she craves him now more so than before.
What does she want? What does she want? She wants—she knows what she wants.
She wants Tim. She wants Tim.
“What I want—what I want is you, but—” She pauses as Tim steps even closer to her. She doesn’t flinch when he puts a finger under her chin and lifts it up.
“What Lucy?”
“I’m scared, Tim. I’m scared that if we do this again. It’s going to be ruined again. I can’t go through that heartbreak again. I just can’t.”
“You won’t.” Tim says, and he says it firmly, he sounds determined. “I’m not going to walk away again. I’m not—I want to talk, Lucy.”
Lucy smiles at him, and he pulls her into him. “Who are you, and what have you done with grumpy cop?”
Tim rolls his eyes at her, but he’s smiling as he cradles her face. “I’m right here. Just new and approved. And a little more emotionally available.”
Lucy nearly melts into the floor and looks up at him. “It’s not just going to be solved because of one hookup and a few words.” She says. “We are going to have to put in the work.”
“I know.”
“So you—”
This time Tim moves first, pressing his forehead against hers. “Yes.” He says. “I want you. And I don’t want last night to be a one-time thing. I don’t want it to be something we just push aside.”
“Me neither.” She whispers. And she’s grateful that they are on the same page. She’s so grateful that she is in his arms again.
Tim slips his hands down to her waist, and she wraps her arms around his neck. “You are incredible, Tim Bradford.” She mutters.
“So are you.” He mutters, pressing his lips to her ear. She feels his warm breath against her skin.
She wants him. She wants more. She will always want more.
“I’ve heard,” she says. “At least I’m not grumpy.” He gives her a small smile, and then he kisses her. It’s slow, it’s loving, and it’s everything she needs at the moment. She just needs to feel him; she doesn’t necessarily want to fall into bed again, but—
“No,” he says, pulling back and leading her to the couch. They fall onto it together, and Lucy curls up into him.
“I missed you,” Lucy mutters after a few minutes of silence. “Not just—” She pauses, and she hears Tim shift a little.
“Me too,” Tim mutters, pressing a kiss into her hair. “Last night wasamazing. I know this is confusing. I know you are scared, but—”
“We can do this,” she says, burying her nose into his chest. She breathes him in like she did last night.
“We can do this,” he agrees. “I’m going to therapy, you know.” Lucy shifts a little so she can look up at him.
“So you did continue it?” she asks. “How is it going?” Tim shrugs his shoulders, his eyes dimming a little.
“It’s slow going,” he says. “But my therapist says healing isn’t always linear or straightforward. There are always bumps in the road.”
“She’s right,” Lucy says. “I know opening up is hard for you, Tim. But I just want to help.” Tim turns her chin up to look up at him. He runs his fingers down her face and then leans in to kiss her again.
He tastes a little bit like beer and a lot like himself. They kiss for a few minutes, and then Lucy moves so she’s sitting on top of his lap. She cradles his face this time, and she never wants to let go; she never wants to forget this moment.
She gazes at Tim, and loops her arms around his neck. Tim shifts and pulls her closer.
“Stop looking at me like that.” He mutters. Lucy bites her lip, and tilts her head at him.
“Like what?” She asks. Tim takes a deep breath and presses his forehead against hers.
“Like you love me.” He mutters. Lucy’s stomach fills with butterflies as she pulls back to look at him some more. His face is soft, his eyes are full of love and awe.
“Well.” She says. “I do love you.” Tim smiles and leans in to kiss her like the answer didn’t surprise him.
But it is true— she does love him.
Tim takes another deep breathe and pushes her hair back. He’s smiling again and it reaches his eyes. She never wants him to lose that smile. She watches as his face changes in a few different ways before he’s speaking again.
His voice is soft, just above a whisper so she can hear him. He looks at her like he did last night.
With love.
“I love you too.”