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“There goes another one,” The Imperial said as yet another escape pod was launched.
“Hold your fire,” His superior officer Bolvan ordered, “There are no lifeforms. It must have been short-circuited.”
“...sir, why would that stop us from shooting the escape pod?”
“Regulations.”
“Regulations?”
“Yes, the rebels have been spreading propaganda about Imperial accusatory, so to counter that, new regulations were made that tie promotions to individual kill ratios to deter us from wasting shots.”
“But… we’re not very accurate.”
“Shhh! We’re not supposed to admit that!”
“Sorry, sir!”
They were quiet for a few moments.
“What if the plans were looking for are on that escape pod, though?”
“If they are, we would never know if we blew it up.”
“Okay, I guess that would save us from Lord Vader’s wrath if it turned out the plans were on in there.”
Bolvan laughed, “Of course not! Lord Vader would kill us regardless of…”
Fear filled the minds of everyone in the room.
“Alright, don’t panic! We can just retrieve the plans from the pod,” Bolvan said, “It’s empty after all.”
“Unless the rebels found a way to fool our sensors.”
“Impossible.”
“Or someone gets to the escape pod before us.”
“Unlikely.”
“Or there are droids in the escape pod.”
“Droids!” Bolvan scoffed, “A droid would have to go years without a memory wipe for them to gain enough intelligence to be trusted with that kind of information, and we make sure to wipe our droids regularly.”
“Do the rebels?”
“Some of them do, but others are sentimental fools.”
“Is the princess one of them?”
“As a matter of fact, she–”
Bolvan’s eyes widened in realisation.
“Shoot it!”
“But sir, what about regulations?”
“Forget regulations! Shoot the escape pod!”
“Too late, sir! It’s out of range.”
The silence was deafening.
“Okay, men, if we work together, we can keep Lord Vader from finding out about this.”
*Ch-ssshhhhhhhhh ch-shshhhhhhuuuuuuu*
Everyone slowly turned to the Dark Lord.
“Lord Vader! I can explain–”
Bolvan felt his throat tighten as Vader began force-choking him.
“You have failed me for the last time, captain.”
“I have…only failed you... once before.”
“And you never will again.”
Vader closed his fist, and Bolvan collapsed.
“You,” Vader pointed at the one Bolvan had been talking to, “You have been promoted.”
Vader left.
“Can he do that?” The new captain asked one of the others in the room.
“Well, I’m certainly not going to argue with him.”