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Published:
2025-04-22
Updated:
2025-11-21
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8,787
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10/?
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everything sucks, no really (unedited)

Summary:

Love triangles.
Oblivious love.
Pining.
Miscommunication.
Gay.

What more do you want? Byler? Well, there's a shit load of it here.

 

That's a lie, you're getting snippets of byler.

Notes:

USERNAME CHEAT CODES !!

what? = Will
ahHH = Mike
uh actually- = Dustin
idrc bro = Lucas

Chapter 1: world class ass

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

02/17/2025 Monday, 12:02 pm

gay lovers (but not)

 

what?: guys.. mike is creeping me outt

 

idrc bro: what? y??

 

what?: he's wearing shorts...

 

idrc bro: k and???

 

what?: booty shorts.....

 

uh actually: omg

 

uh actually: he's showing his world class ass???

 

uh actually: withiut me???

 

what?: what?

 

ahHH: WILL WTF???

 

ahHH: I AM NOT WEARING BOOTY SHORTS

 

ahHH: AND FYM "WORLD CLASS ASS"????

 

idrc bro: idk man, dustins kinda right....

 

idrc bro: like hate to break to you, buuuut

 

ahHH: NU UH NO "BUUUUT" MY ASS IS COMPLETELY BORMAL

 

what?: ah yes "bormal"

 

ahHH: stfuuu

 

ahHH: dustin made a typo, and none of you said anything !!

 

ahHH: so rlly u guys r choosing favs

 

02/17/2025 Monday, 02:36 pm

gay lovers (but not)

 

what?: does anyone know where tf micheal is?

 

what?: bro has not texted me a single reference in an hour and I'm getting worried

 

uh actually: so, from mike nit texting u, u suddenly got the idea he's like... missing??

 

what?: yh

 

idrc bro: maybe his phone died or smth

 

what?: no that's impossible, he always charges his phone

 

uh actually: k so maybe wait until after school to get worried, cuz he Could be fine

 

what?: but what if he's not?

 

uh actually: if we 'what if?' spiral now, u will convice us he's dead, so no

 

uh actually: we Are waiting, and we Will wait

 

idrc bro: u capitalizing 'will' makes it look like ur calling Him

 

uh actually: stfu

 

ahHH: k my phones going off like a fucking bomb, who tf is dead???

 

what?: u

 

uh actually: my will to live

 

idrc bro: my patience

 

ahHH: k so first of all, never text at the same time Ever Again, my phone just had a fucking heart attack

 

ahHH: second, lucas, wbk, dustin, no suicidal thoughts before happy hour, and y am I dying??

 

ahHH: and I think I'd know if I was dying

 

uh actually: will thought smth catastrophic had happened to u

 

what?: I did not

 

idrc bro: u did so

 

what?: wtv, can I not be concerned for my friend??

 

uh actually: sure, let's call mike ur friend

 

what?: what does that even Mean???

 

ahHH: I second that

 

idrc bro: dudes, u do know the bell rang like... four minutes ago right?

 

idrc bro: I've been in the hall waiting, for like ever

 

uh actually: u have not, stop being dramatic

 

idrc bro: I am not being dramatic

 

uh actually: u so are

 

ahHH: and the flirting continues

 

idrc bro: stfu

 

uh actually: yh, stfu

 

what?: no arguing!! this not healthy!! apologize!!

 

uh actually: sorry mike

 

idrc bro: sorry mike

 

what?: yh no, mike is so right, never Ever do that again

 

what?: my phone had a fucking stroke

 

idrc bro: @uh actually, yet u said I was dramatic

 

what?: ... k so that doesn't count

 

idrc bro: it so does tho

 

what?: it so doesn't tho

 

ahHH: sigh

 

02/17/2025 Monday, 11:28 pm

gay lovers (but not)

 

ahHH: yoo, so like nancy threatened me, over the phone, to watch mean girls

 

ahHH: and now I feel like, fetch is such a fun fucking word, reginas just a hater

 

ahHH: ik u guys r prbbly asleep, but like yh

 

ahHH: idk, mean girls was a fun movie tho

 

ahHH: also, aaron samuels is a fucking catch, like can I have him orrr??

 

ahHH: also also, I'm like toats high, btw

 

ahHH: if that wasn't obvious

 

ahHH: anyway, nancy wants to like... go to the movies with me and watch the new mean girls movie

 

ahHH: though, it came out last yr, so technically it isn't new, but wtv

 

ahHH: should I say yes? I mean ik she's my sister, but I don't see her unless it's a holiday or smth

 

ahHH: so her wanting to hang out with me, just out if the blue is rlly suspicious

 

ahHH: is it suspicious, or am I just not used to sibling bonding likd??

 

ahHH: I feel like I'm thinking abt this too hard, but like, still

 

ahHH: k, anyway I'm going to bed, gn

 

ahHH: I'm reading over the messages and I say 'like' like a lot

 

ahHH: ... shit

Notes:

Edited it, it's longer now.

I also want to edit the other chapters, so to the people who are rereading, yes there are changes, no you are not going insane.

Anyway, bye bye.

Chapter 2: uneventful day

Summary:

Alternatively named;
Madeline's boredom shall be known

:))

Not gonna be posting regularly. A holiday is coming up soooo, I'll be busy, is what I'm trying to say

Notes:

USERNAME CHEAT CODES !!

 

line dancing: madeline
huh?: Jonathan
ask mom: Nancy

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

02/17/2025 Monday, 01:25 pm

"Maddie dear, can you go get the fake toes?"

 

line dancing: dudeeeeee, I'm going insaneeeeee

 

line dancing: college is soooooo, boring w/out you guysssssss

 

huh?: who

 

line dancing: you guyssssss

 

huh?: asked?

 

ask mom: jon, that joke is so old

 

huh?: and?

 

line dancing: his humor is so 2020

 

ask mom: literally

 

huh?: stfuuu, let me l i v e

 

ask mom: nah

 

line dancing: no thanks :)

 

ask mom: btw, line aren't you suppose to be in class?

 

line dancing: aren't you?

 

ask mom: touche

 

huh?: I don't have class until an hour later

 

line dancing: luckyyyy :/

 

huh: XD

 

line dancing: anyway, I gtg the prof is gonna kill me if I'm late

 

line dancing: see ya

 

huh?: byee

 

ask mom: bye

 

The quiet afternoon was peaceful, and calm. Students laid lazily on the grass of the schoolyard, some studying, some reading, most were just enjoying the perfect weather.

 

Line shut off her phone, and hurriedly stuffed her study materials in her book bag. Slinging it over her shoulder as she jogged to the building her social studies class was. Unfortunately it was in the building farthest away from the schoolyard or as some people call it, courtyard.

 

Living in New York was fun. It was a great place for an art nerd like herself. Line loved it, she could sit on the fire escape of her apartment, and draw anything and anyone she wanted. The ruckus filled street's were fascinating to her, being a girl from a small town, crowded places were new to her. And Line absolutely adored it.

 

And in the year she had been living here, she managed to get some attention on her paintings, they were realistic portraits of people she saw walking in the street, first she'd take a picture of a person, then she'd pain them. Either it was if a man walking his dog in a ridiculously horrendous 'dad' outfit, or a woman who looked like she just got out if a fashion show.

 

Line turned the corner, and opened the first door on the left. Thankful to see the professor wasn't there yet, only a couple students she's seen around campus. She sat down at her designated chair. Near the windows, on the fifth row, second column, as she put it. The window displayed the beautifully sculpted statue of a Greek goddess, thankfully fully clothed. The Scenery looked like it came straight out of a fairytale or Disney movie.

 

She brought out the essentials for this class, and waited patiently for the professor to arrive. Which he did approximately fifteen minutes after she did, and before he came, a group of students had filtered in, as well as some stragglers. She recognized one of them as the student who let her use his phone when she lost hers.

 

Line thought about her friends, her home, her parents. She considered going back home to Hawkins, see if that will sort out her boredom.

 

02/17/2025 Monday, 02:04 pm

"Maddie dear, can you go get the fake toes?"

 

line dancing: k, so, class is boring as shit

 

line dancing: and you guys are my only source of entertainment, please help

 

ask mom: can't, I'm in the middle of a test

 

line dancing: then how are texting??

 

ask mom: stfu

 

huh?: k, so, my phone keeps going off and that is such a turn off, so please, stfu

 

line dancing: wait, what?

 

huh?: y'know, life is like line

 

line dancing: awe, because I'm your world?

 

huh?: no, because it's short

 

ask mom: gagged

 

line dancing: betrayed

 

huh?: murdered

 

line dancing: What?

 

huh?: oh, I thought we were naming things, like we've done recently

 

ask mom: stepping away from this situation, what are you guys eating for lunch?

 

line dancing: idk, probably some over priced shit at the cafeteria

 

huh?: same

 

ask mom: sigh

 

02/17/2025 Monday, 11:32 pm

"Maddie dear, can you go get the fake toes?"

 

ask mom: so, I just threatened mike to watch mean girls

 

ask mom: I didn't think he'd do it, but he did and he sort of... liked it?

 

ask mom: like he said that the movie was cool and that regina could go fuck herself with a ladle, which was funny

 

ask mom: don't tell him I said that

 

ask mom: I asked why and he said "because fetch is actually a cute word, reginas just a bitch"

 

ask mom: which she is, but yk

 

ask mom: I didn't expect him to like the movie sm and we had like... a civil conversation, for once???

 

ask mom: he only made one sarcastic comment the whole time and laughed, at one of My jokes???

 

ask mom: idk, it's weird, but I thought I'd tell you guys

 

ask mom: I also offered to watch the 2024 version with him, so we'll see how that goes

 

ask mom: if he even agrees to gi

 

ask mom: anyway, I'll stop flooding your guys' notifications, bye

Notes:

Don't mind me, just hiding in the bathroom to post :)

 

BTW BIG THANK YOU TO Lesbian_Pirate FOR LEAVING KUDOS :DDDD

 

Legit kinda sad I had to change the oc, bcs like, sir talks-a-lot was a rlly good user :/

Chapter 3: somebody kill me

Summary:

He swears to God if Will wasn't his brother, he would've killed the little shit.

 

that's the vibe of today :))

Notes:

Context: The Byers residence is only 30 minutes away from Jon's college dormitories. Joyce is away on a trip with Hopp. Will is currently staying with Jonathan. No, the headmistress does not know. (jkjkjk she does)

Jon is so fucking jealous El decided to stay with a friend.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

02/19/2025 Wednesday, 07:15 am

 

Today was leading to be a horrible day, his brother had to crash at his place for the time being. It wasn't even that he didn't like his brothers presence, it's what came with it.

 

Jonathan groaned, dropping his head back against the chair.

 

He muttered something about regret, and hate of sorts. Will did not care though, he simply carried on with his day, bobbing his head to the song and mumbling the lyrics.

 

Which normally would've been fine, but the problem was, the song was muffin time. Muffin time. Did you see that correctly? Muffin time. Or whatever the song was called, and it was so fucking loud. Jonathan thought his ears could bleed from how loud it was.

 

Jonathon yelled in frustration.

Will ignored the older boy.

 

"Will!" Jonathan groaned, again.

 

"What?!" Replied the younger Byers, over the loud music.

 

"Stop the song!" He demanded, again.

 

"Hell no!" Will shouted back... Again.

 

"Hell yes!"

 

"Hell no!"

 

"Hell yes!" And it was just that, back and forth, for what felt like hours.

 

Until Will got fed up and turned the volume up to the max, and if you thought it was loud before, it basically shook the whole dorm room. And on top of that, Will started singing- well shouting but you get the point. "SOMEBODY KILL ME" Sang Will.

 

"I WILL IF YOU KEEP THIS UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU LITTLE SHIT"

 

"UHM, ACTUALLY IT'S 12:30. IT'S MUFFIN TIME, IT'S MUFFIN TI-"

 

Will got cut off by a flying pillow.

 

He let out an 'oomph' and fell on to a bean bag.

 

Will Byers has fainted.

 

Jonathan quickly ran it Will's speaker and shut it off. The older boy let out a relieved sigh, though it didn't last long as he was hit by his own flying pillow, and fell on to the carpet.

 

Jonathan Byers has fainted.

 

His neighbors were going to kill him.

 

02/19/2025 Wednesday, 07:27 am

"Maddie dear, could you go get the fake toes?"

 

huh?: dude, Will is being soooooo annoying rnn

 

line dancing: I refuse to believe, will "I wouldn't hurt a fly" byers is being annoying rn

 

ask mom: imo, that is highly plausible. he basically lived at my house when jon or joyce was busy

 

ask mom: istg, I have conversations i n g r a i n e d in my brain, of will and mike bickering, constantly.

 

huh?: huh, I never knew that

 

line dancing: seeing your contact name AND you typing 'huh' hurt my brain for some reason.

 

ask mom: your js weird like that, ig?

 

line dancing: "I'm just different" ahh moment

 

ask mom: you're too chronically online

 

line dancing: ... That may be true, but at least I know fnaf is

 

ask mom: I don't need to know, plus you said the lore was complicated and confusing

 

line dancing: I thought you wanted to be a reporter?

 

ask mom: well, yeah

 

line dancing: then this must be your first test

 

line dancing: find everything you can about fnaf and report back to me, to grade you on how much you discovered

 

huh?: can we get back to, will "he would definitely hurt a fly" byers, being annoying?

 

line dancing: no, I'm in the middle of packing to go home and catch up with the folks

 

ask mom: wait, your coming home????

 

line dancing: yeah!!!

 

huh?: omgg

 

line dancing: omgg

 

ask mom: omgg

 

line dancing: anyway, I gtg

 

ask mom: bye

 

huh?: byee

 

02/19/2025 Wednesday, 07:34 am

"Maddie dear, could you go get the fake toes?"

 

line dancing: yoo, you never told us if you and mike ended up going to the movies

 

ask mom: we did, it was... weird, but not awkward

 

ask mom: we actually talked a lot, he seemed less... childish? But at the same time, it felt like we were kids again

 

ask mom: I mean we were Close, when we were younger, but when we became teenagers, more or else

 

ask mom: y'know, it became weird to be close to your siblings, so we just... distanced each other

 

ask mom: now that we're out if the phase, we talk and it's nice

 

ask mom: we've always been close to holly, though, so talked about her the whole way to the theater and back

 

huh?: could not relate, me and will be bitches forever

 

huh?: close bitches, but bitches

 

line dancing: I'm an only child so-

 

ask mom: you guys are horrible friends

 

line dancing: we are not!

 

huh?: we so are

 

line dancing: wtf jonathan, you're supposed to agree with me

 

line dancing: we Are good friends

 

ask mom: I'll be the judge of that... bitches

 

line dancing: fuck youuuuu

 

huh?: nah, I'm p sure that's your crushes job

 

line dancing: Bro

 

ask mom: oh?

 

line dancing: it's not a crushhhh

 

ask mom: is it?

 

huh?: yesssss

 

huh?: stage one: denial

 

line dancing: nah nvm, we Are bad friends >:(

Notes:

For anyone wondering, the reason why I changed the oc from Sierra to Madeline was bcs, Sierra is the same Sierra from my fic, the red town, bcs like, the idea was that, this fic is the modern version of the red town, but without vecna and the upside down and all that stuff.

Also, Jonathans user is "huh?" bcs I saw an edit of like Jonathan, Nancy, Steve, and Robin to the song love game, and like, Nancy was the "girl" , Steve was the "boy" , Jonathan was the "huh?" , and Robin was the "gay" , even though the original lyrics are "game" , not "gay" .

Chapter 4: will "nicest person alive" byers

Summary:

Basically, the first few chapters are just filler, I swear there is (somewhat) of a plot. I'm just trying to get to at least chapter ten, cause y'know, character building and stuff.

Notes:

The title is a direct reference to the previous chapter.

 

USERNAMES

evie leavie = steve (bcs s1 steve always left)
robert povert = robin (bcs shes cannonically poor)
topher popper = chrissy (bcs her bones popped out of their sockets)
ellie smelly = eddie (bcs I imagine he smells like weed)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

02/24/2025 Monday, 09:25 am

gay lovers (but not)

 

ahHH: William Mark Byers.

 

what?: may I ask Why ur using my full name today?

 

ahHH: no

 

what?: ...

 

what?: well, alright then

 

idrc bro: anyone want a banana spilt sculpture?

 

uh actually: why tf do u have a banana spilt sculpture??

 

idrc bro: idk, I found it at the dollar store

 

what?: el likes banana spilts, can she have it?

 

4idrc bro: sure, I'll give it to her tomorrow after school

 

ahHH: does nobody care that I called will by his full name?

 

idrc bro: read the user

 

what?: I didn't give a shit as soon as you said no

 

uh, actually: literally could not give a fuck

 

ahHH: you guys r rude :((

 

uh actually: wbk

 

ahHH: will?

 

what?: I'm not dragging ur ass out of this

 

ahHH: :((

 

02/22/2025 Saturday, 11:08 am

alcoholics and stoners unite

 

evie leavie: can anyone help w/ an essay?

 

robert povert: no

 

topher popper: I would, but cheer practice is running late, sorry!!!

 

ellie smelly: I camt feel my thunbs

 

evie leavie: fucking great

 

02/24/2025 Monday, 01:56 pm

alcoholics and stoners unite

 

evie leavie: so, conclusion is, my friends are unhelpful and to, in the future, ask for Sherlock Holmes' help, got it

 

ellie smelly: Sherlock Holmes is fictional

 

evie leavie: I know, I'm saying a person who does not exist is more helpful than you

 

ellie smelly: damn

 

robert povert: gagged

 

topher popper: I'm sorry :((

 

evie leavie: no, don't apologize, your the only nice one

 

02/25/2025 Monday, 04:17 am

 

Steve sighed as he stared at the empty document, the cursor blinking. He had written and rewritten, made progress, then deleted said progress because he felt it wasn't good enough. He's never been good at the writing part of school, which is bad because like, seventy percent of school is writing.

 

The main reason why he struggles with it, us because his mind is either coming with every idea on the planet, or it's blank. When he has a bunch of ideas, he gets overwhelmed and can't choose one, when he has none, hell come up with some bullshit story, that ends up getting him a bad grade.

 

Currently, his brain is fried, he'd been working on assignments all day without break, so all he could think about was; Eddie was high, and he wished he was in Hawkins to be high with him.

 

His stomach gurgles for what feels like the hundredth time that day, since he'd worked all day, he kept forgetting to eat or drink, saying he'd do it later. He never did, so now he was left hungry and with an essay due in four hours.

 

Shit, he had to be awake in two hours. Steve sighed, deeper than before and shut off his laptop, deciding to at least an hour of sleep, so he could wake up early and get started on the essay again. He had a morning lecture tomorrow- I mean today, so he had to wake up earlier than usual, to get everything done on time.

 

02/25/2025 Monday, 08:24 am

 

Shit, shit, shit, he missed his lecture! He missed his fucking lecture!

 

Steve muttered a string of curses as he realized, not only had he missed his lecture, he hadn't turned in his essay, he was late by an hour and thirty minutes!

 

After high school, Steve was determined to prove he was a good student, so this really wasn't supposed to be happening! Steve rushed to get his essay done. He couldn't really do anything about missing his morning lecture, but he could still try to get his essay done, even if he turns it in late.

 

Steve really needed a study partner.

 

02/25/2025 Monday, 09:54 am

gay lovers (but not)

 

ahHH: k, but why is will's middle name Mark??

 

ahHH: that's so random, dude

 

what?: my mom's dads name is Mark, so in honor of him she named me after him

 

uh actually: I kinda hate the name Mark tbh

 

idrc bro: what, why?

 

uh actually: it's my cousins name

 

idrc bro: The cousin, or a cousin?

 

uh actually: The cousin

 

ahHH: wtf are you talking bout here???

 

what?: no idea

 

idrc bro: inside joke

 

uh actually: inside joke

 

ahHH: then why doesn't it Feel like a joke?

 

idrc bro: just fuck off mike

 

ahHH: woah, wtf did I do?

 

idrc bro: what Didn't you do?

 

what?: calm down holy shit, mike didn't even say anything

 

idrc bro: of course you'd take his side

 

what?: I didn't even Know there were sides

 

uh actually: lucas, it's fine

 

uh actually: they don't know

 

idrc bro: doesn't fucking matter, they're being insensitive

 

uh actually: Lucas.

 

idrc bro: wtv.

 

what?: wtf.

 

ahHH: I second that.

Notes:

Ahhhhh, sorry if this is shit.

I'm not even gonna address the fact I haven't updated Anything, I'm b u s y.

I know that's always my excuse, but I really am :')

It's really rushed, but that's because I had no idea what I was gonna write, but I needed to get something out, so, here you go !!

The thing with Dustin isn't really relevant to the plot, it's just some lore I decided make.

Chapter 5: im dYing

Summary:

Madeline made it home!!

Notes:

USERNAMES

 

evie leavie = steve
robert povert = robin
topher popper = chrissy
ellie smelly = eddie

steve = steve
?? = ??

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

02/29/2025 Friday, 12:24 pm
stoners and alcoholics unite

 

evie leavie: k so, thoughts on my outfit

 

evie leavie: (stevesoutfit.jpeg)

 

robert povert: crotch to the flooor

 

evie leavie: shut up, robbie

 

topher popper: its true, though, maybe you should add a belt…

 

evie leavie: et tu cunningham???

 

topher popper: sorry steve!! but she's not wrong…

 

evie leavie: ig youre right

 

robert povert: what? so she can comment on your crotch but I cant?!?!?!!

 

ellie smelly: that sounds vaguely sexual

 

ellie smelly: anyway

 

ellie smelly: I was reading this fic, and like, one of the characters said

 

ellie smelly: “eat ass get rich” and the other one was like “I dont pay you”

 

ellie smelly: and that is the funniest fucking shit I have every read

 

ellie smelly: steve, im dYing

 

evie leavie: THATS NOT EVEN RELEVANT TO THE CONVERSATION AT HAND

 

evie leavie: thoughts on the outfit NOW

 

robert povert: why steve? got a hot date idk abt? ;)

 

evie leavie: omg

 

topher popper: I think it's cute! but again, add a belt, please!!!

 

ellie smelly: I agree with miss perfect, add a belt

 

evie leavie: kk got it

 

robert povert: notice how he avoided my question? suspicious…

 

ellie smelly: you think everything is suspicious

 

robert povert: bcs everything Is suspicious!!

 

topher popper: omg, that reminds me of the among us days!!

 

ellie smelly: god, don't even remind me

 

ellie smelly: do you even know how much I died playing that game?!??!

 

ellie smelly: never again

 

ellie smelly: Never again

 

robert povert: and I was always the the imposter

 

robert povert: oh the good old days…

 

evie leavie: youre making us sound old stop

 

robert povert: :(

 

evie leavie: :P

 

02/29/2025 Friday, 12:36 pm
?? - steve

 

steve: hey, are we still on for today?

 

??: yeah, ill be there to pick you up in five

 

steve: k, thanks :)

 

??: :)

02/30/2025 Saturday, 04:11 am

 

Madeline finally made it back to her home town, now she sat in the rental car she got to drive home in, her new car in the basement of her dorm, and her old car sitting in her parents garage. She didn't want to wake her parents as she knew she would be arriving late at night.

 

Line had parked the car, its tires in the driveway of a 24-hour convenience store. She grabbed her keys, decorated with an assortment of key chains and charms, and her purse, filled with her wallet, her phone, some loose cash, gum, and lipstick. Closing the door shut she made her way to the double doors of the convenience store.

 

Inside, she bought a sandwich, coffee, and some pads. After paying at the register, she went back into the car and drove into the night, going further and further away from New York City.

 

By the time Line reached her childhood home, it was 4:37 am, and her exhaustion had reached bone deep capacity. She hastily unlocked the door with the spare key under the flower pot, stepped inside and kicked her shoes off.

 

She walked the familiar path to her room, barely registering the new couch her parents had bought, and barged into her own room. Dropping her bags at the foot of her bed, and turning on her AC, hearing the basically ancient machine start back up again, she let her back meet with her twin sized bed, and fell into a deep sleep.

Notes:

I started this fic in April, it has now been seven months, and I only have five chapters made and published.

What the fuck.

Chapter 6: Sorry, your message could not come through. This person has blocked you

Summary:

Sooooo, turns out that little thing with Dustin that was supposed to "just be some lore, and isn't relevant to the plot" , is actually pretty relevant to the plot currently. Oops.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 10:45 am

?? - steve

 

steve: hey, I think you left your jacket at my place

 

??: oh shit, really?

 

steve: yeah, it's a jean jacket, right?

 

??: yeah, uh, I could come over and grab it on my way home from work

 

steve: or, you could, yk, come over for dinner

 

??: dinner? like, sit down at the table, dinner? or kick our feet up on your bed and watch movies, dinner?

 

steve: kick our feet up on my bed and watch movies, dinner, who do you think I am?

 

steve: a civilized man?

 

??: ah, yes, sorry for the confusion

 

steve: no worries, just don't make it again next time

 

??: of course, of course

 

steve: so, seven work for you?

 

??: yeah, I'll see you then

 

steve: you too

 

steve: also full disclosure I'm getting chinese takeout bcs I can't be eating good on this paycheck

 

??: fair, but I like chinese so it's fine

 

steve: kk, thanks :)

 

??: :)

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 10:45 am

lucas - mike

 

mike: hey, so like

 

mike: uhh

 

mike: I don't really know like, what happened the other day

 

mike: but, idk, are we like

 

mike: good? ik technically speaking we're prbbly not good

 

mike: but, ig what I'm trying to say is

 

mike: I'm sorry, I don't like fighting with you

 

mike: or dustin, but I was genuinely curious and like

 

mike: I totally shouldn't have pushed dustin or you to answer when you guys were clearly uncomfortable

 

mike: and that's on me

 

mike: but like, will's been spiraling abt this and idk

 

mike: just please talk to him

 

mike: lucas?

 

mike: please respond

 

mike: I miss you

mike deleted one message

 

mike: will misses you and dustin, he really does

 

mike: please talk to him

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 10:52 am

stoners and alcoholics unite

 

evie leavie: ugh, I hate feeling like this

 

evie leavie: why do I feel like this?

 

evie leavie: it's not even anything that important

 

evie leavie: it is Just dinner

 

evie leavie: omfg robert

 

povert: wtf are u talking abt?

 

robert povert: do u have dinner w/ the folks or smth?

 

robert povert: bcs you can't js vaguely say things like this

 

ellie smelly: I too, would like to know wtf ur talking abt stevie

evie leavie: nothing, it's just

 

evie leavie: god, why do I feel so nervous?

evie leavie: I've had dinner w/ them before

 

evie leavie: ugh

ellie smelly: omg

 

robert povert: omg

 

ellie smelly: he likes someone

 

robert povert: there's a someone

 

ellie smelly: omg

 

robert povert: omg

 

topher popper: you guys, you can't flood the gc while I'm in class!!

 

topher popper: and aren't you guys supposed to be paying attention??!?

 

evie leavie: ion got class

 

ellie smelly: I don't where I Am

 

robert povert: yh no, I don't have an excuse

 

topher popper: omg

 

topher popper: paper thin, paper thin

 

ellie smelly: and suddenly I know exactly where I am, gtg byeee

 

robert povert: yh, it's so weird, my teachers lecture is so interesting all of a sudden

 

evie leavie: push overs

topher popper:

 

evie leavie: omg, do I suddenly have an urge to do the mountains of hw I have? yes! in fact I do

 

evie leavie: bye bye

 

topher popper: :/

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 12:14 am

lucas - dustin

 

dustin: dude, why do u insist we ignore them?

 

dustin: they've done nothing wrong! and even if they did, I've forgiven them

 

lucas: well u shouldn't have to

 

lucas: they were being insensitive dustin: they literally weren't??

 

lucas: they were, Omg, are u Blind???

 

dustin: wtf, what's that supposed to mean?

 

dustin: do u think I can't tell when ppl are being rude to me?

 

dustin: bcs I can, trust me I can

 

dustin: we basically went through the same shit in middle school

 

dustin: and now you're saying my judgement is wrong?

 

dustin: Wtf, lucas?

 

lucas: no, dustin that's not what I meant

 

dustin: then what did you mean?? dustin: what did you mean, lucas?

 

lucas: I'm js saying, js because we've been friends w/ them for forever doesn't mean we have to trust them

 

dustin: ik we don't Have to trust them

 

dustin: but I Choose to

 

dustin: and if you can't see that then maybe you aren't the kind of person I thought you were

 

lucas: wait, dustin what does that mean?

 

lucas: dustin?

 

lucas: dustin!

Sorry, your message could not come through. This person has blocked you.

 

lucas: shit.

Sorry, your message could not come through. This person has blocked you.

 

 

Notes:

Ughhh, I don't really like it, but I was pissed and I project onto my fics when I'm pissed.

Chapter 7: boyfs and make ups

Summary:

Dustin often hates his nicknames.

Notes:

AHAH VICTORY IS MINEEE, I finally succesfully logged into my ao3 account on my laptop and now i can update my fics while my phone is getting fixed!!!!

Chapter Text

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 12:34 am

 

Lucas cursed under his breath, his head leaning back against the metal door of his locker. His eyes were closed, and his shoulders slumped. Some people looked at him, and most paid him no mind. However, a girl, around his age, height probably met his chest, stared at him. No particular reason, just to look.

 

She looked curious about him, maybe because his day was going very clearly wrong despite still being relatively early. In her hands, she held a paper cup, most likely filled with coffee, and the other rested on her cross-body bag, which was old, frayed, and had a bunch of unidentifiable stains.

 

Lucas got over his minor thought spiral and walked to class, pocketing his phone, not noticing the girl who was trying to think of why he looked familiar. Once he was out of view, the girl spotted her new friend. Eagerly, she walked up to him with the intention of greeting him. Although she would never admit that she secretly enjoyed the boy’s company, instead, she would act as if the boy were a nuisance and a bother in her life.

 

“Hey, Tin Man. Watch’a doin’ ?” She asked her friend, who was currently staring at his phone, typing something, she wasn’t sure what. He put a hand up, signaling her to be quiet; his thumbs were going weirdly fast. The girl rolled her eyes, but complied, leaning against the locker next to them, a deadpanned look in her eyes, seemingly annoyed, though in reality, she was watching the way his face frowned when he was focusing; it was really cute. Wait what?

 

Catching herself, she cleared her throat and looked away, smoothing down her hair. It was wavy, and she had a knack for never taking care of it properly, so it was often a frizzy mess. Of course, her friend had offered to teach her how to take care of it, to which she responded that she knew how to do it, she was just lazy, and never actually had the time to.

 

At the time, her friend had rolled his eyes and muttered what suspiciously sounded like, “Of course you are.” However, she didn’t comment on it. Now, he was still typing, half-said words whispered under his breath, sometimes he scoffed, other times he just stayed quiet.

 

Eventually, he looked up, “Sorry, I was, uhm, texting my friend.” He stated, pocketing his phone, and then they fell into an easy conversation, with no awkward pauses; it was as if they’d been friends since they were twelve, not recently. They talked as they walked, heading towards the cafeteria, although the girl was dreading eating the soggy ‘chicken’ nuggets that would be prepared as lunch today. Seriously? Why did she have to eat the free lunch? She could’ve just bought it from outside school, or even brought lunch from home, but no, her mom had to be cheap.

 

She was always jealous that Tin Man could eat out wherever he wanted, his mom just letting him without much of a fuss. Was he really that much of a saint to his mother? ‘Cause as far as she knew, that’s why his mom let him eat out.

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 12:34 pm
dustin - will

 

dustin: k, ik that we kinda left things off weirdly, but will you please talk to me? I think somethings going on with lucas, and idk what

 

will: omg, hey

 

will: wdym you think somethings going on with lucas? is he okay?

 

dustin: thats the thing, idk, i mean that whole argument the other day, he caused it, no one was starting anything, and yet he gave out accusations

 

will: ig thats weird, but come on its lucas, hes always kinda standoff-ish

 

dustin: ik, but not to this extent, usually its a joke, right?

 

dustin: hes too cool to hang out w/ cuz hes on the basketball team now

 

will: yh, idk, maybe its his parents? my mom heard theyve been fighting again

 

will: or maybe its erica, maybe hes pissy bcs shes bothering him more than usual

 

dustin: wait, his parents have been fighting Again?

 

will: yh, like full blown screaming matches

 

dustin: why didnt u tell us? Why didnt He tell us?

 

will: even before he was standoff-ish, he never really talked abt his parents, u cant expect him to start now

 

dustin: ig, but god i really hope its something else, bcs if its his parents, and hes pissier than usual, well, we know what that means…

 

will: yh.. i hope its not that, tho, i mean he got better, right?

 

will: thats what he told us?

 

dustin: i mean yh

 

will: then lets trust him

 

dustin: yh, yh ok

 

dustin: thx, will, ur a good friend, and i missed u

 

will: i missed you too, man

 

dustin: sorry, i gtg my new friend that i told you abt? shes bugging me, trying to pull me to the cafeteria

 

dustin: see you there?

 

will: ok, but i dont rlly like new ppl…

 

dustin: oh, well then tell mike we’re on good terms but i wont be joining in on lunch

 

will: will do, dusty

 

dustin: god i hate that nickname

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 02:56 pm
?? - el

 

??: hey el, uhh, i cant make it to lunch today, im hanging out with tin man

 

el: oh, no worries, ill just sit with my brother and his boyf

 

??: wait, i thought ur bro was single??

 

el: oh he is, but w/ the way they act around eo, they might as well be boyfs

 

??: damn, well alr then, hope you dont die of disgust

 

el: no promises

 

??: lmao

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 02:56 pm
steve - robin

 

robin: k, leather jacket, where is it?

 

steve: idk, didnt eddie have it? hes always hogging it, god

 

robin: k, thx stevie

 

steve: welcome

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 02:57 pm
eddie - robin

 

robin: leather jacket, do u have have it?

 

eddie: nah, gave it to chris, she wanted it for a date or something

 

robin: wait, she went on a date???

 

eddie: yh, cuz unlike steve, or me, or u, shes good at keeping secrets

 

robin: damn, gc time then

 

eddie: i regret telling u Anything

 

robin: oh ik

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 02:59 pm
stoners and alcoholics unite

 

robert povert: leather jacket, chris, where is it?

 

topher popper: uhh, i think i gave it to steve? not sure

 

robert povert: he denied having it, and also, i got intel that u went on a date and didnt tel us!!! Wtf, chris???

 

topher popper: well, its not like im obligated to tell u

 

robert povert: what!!! ofc u r!! who else am i gonna get to spill their relationship secrets!!

 

topher popper: omg

 

robert povert: anyway, steve, if she gave it to u, and u dont have it, where tf is it???

 

steve: shit…

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 03:03 pm
"Maddie dear, could you go get the fake toes?"

 

ask mom: jon, where tf did you get that jacket?? and can i have it?

 

huh?: idk, i js found it in my car

 

huh?: ohhh, shit

 

ask mom: what? what? is it??

 

line dancing, it is wayy, too early for yall to be discussing smth

 

huh?: line, its like, 2 pm i fear

 

ask mom: have you been sleeping this entire time?

 

line dancing: maybe… but thats besides the point

 

ask mom: get tf up, line

 

line dancing: fineeee

 

ask mom: anyway, jon, whos jacket is that?

 

huh?: mine

 

ask mom: bullshit

 

huh?: fine, ive been seeing someone, and i think they left their jacket in my car

 

ask mom: omg

 

huh?: whaaaat, it was inevitable!!

 

ask mom: doesnt make it better

 

line dancing: what? what am i missing? i feel like im missing smth

 

ask mom: he fucked someone in his car

 

line dancing: i dont see how thats a problem???

 

ask mom: dude, he couldnt wait to get to his apartment to fuck someone, which means?

 

line dancing: that hes a whore??

 

ask mom: what? no, it means he legitametly likes this person

 

line dancing: idk abt u nance, but im p sure ive hooked up with someone in my car, only to never see or think of them again

 

ask mom: yh, but its jon

 

line dancing: again, i feel like im missing smth

 

ask mom: youre hopeless

 

line dancing: thx nance

 

ask mom: yw

Chapter 8: homo? homo.

Summary:

Flashback for context, and the queers bein' queer.

Notes:

I have no idea how to write people kissing, so if its shit, I am so truly sorry.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

02/17/2025 Monday, 02:04 pm

FLASHBACK 

 

Jonathan really doesn’t know how he ended up here, but God, is he glad he is. He was just getting some groceries at the supermarket near his apartment, and he was out of a lot of things as he does not go grocery shopping often. He didn’t have time, between school, his job, and the extra lessons he’s been taking in his photography class. 

 

Usually, he didn’t go to this store; he’d go to the one a couple of blocks from here, which was bigger and had his favorite almond milk. It’s not that he was lactose intolerant; he just liked the taste of almond milk. Line always thought he was weird for liking almond milk more than regular milk. 

 

Anyway, he’d run into an old friend, well, more accurately, an old acquaintance. And they got to talking, mainly about school, turns out he went to a college about an hour or so from here. Jon asked what he was doing all the way here, and he ducked his head, looking bashful. 

 

The blush on his chees spread to his ears, and, without much thought, Jon, for some reason, took a hold of the boy’s chin, and gently tilted his head back, making him face Jon again, it was then that Jon realized, he had also taken a step closer to the blond boy, and now their faces were inches apart. 

 

Mind you, they were still in the middle of the supermarket, and Jonathan thanked God that it was relatively empty. Quickly, Jon dropped his hand and muttered a “Sorry…” while the boy insisted it was fine. After that, Jon made some stupid excuse of having somewhere to be after this and bolted. Leaving behind a sexually confused boy, standing in the hygiene aisle. 

 

As Jon walked to the corner where he parked his car, holding his grocery bags, someone called out to him, “Hey, Byers!” He turned to see his old acquaintance, who was rushing towards Jon, his own plastic bag in hand, as well as his car keys. 

 

“Sorry, uhm, I just wanted to do something,” the boy stated, setting his bag down at their feet and pocketing his keys. 

 

“What did you want to do?” Jon asked, confused as he set his own bags down, maintaining eye contact with the boy as he crouched down to place them. 

 

“This.” The boy leaned forward, capturing Jonathan’s lips in a kiss. Jon gasped, his hands going to push the other boy off, but he paused, then relaxed. The boy used Jon’s gasp as an opportunity to slip his tongue in, meeting Jon’s. Jon snapped back into reality and started to kiss back. How the fuck did they get here? 

 

The kiss was sloppy, and their teeth clashed, but Jon couldn’t get enough of it. His hands traveled to the back of the boy’s head, gripping his dirty blond hair, and before it could escalate further, he pulled away, stepping back. A smirk was plastered on his face. Jon’s face was dazed, his hands still floating in the air, a little lower now than when they were tangled in his hair. 

 

“See you around, Byers.” He sounded smug as he grabbed his bag from the ground. Jon watched as he walked away, still awestruck; the feeling of his lips lingered. Jon shook his head and moved on autopilot as he drove home.

 

Once his back hit his apartment door, Jon let out a choked whine, quickly covering his mouth. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Hurrying, Jon ran to his desk where his laptop sat. He searched up one name, Steve Harrington. 

 

02/17/2025 Monday, 02:26 pm

 

Unsurprisingly, a bunch of articles from when they were both in high school popped up; he was King Steve, after all. Jon scoffed at the nickname, remembering how much of an ass Steve was until they put aside their differences for Nancy. It's weird how, after they broke up, Steve still tried to talk with Jonathan and befriend him, let alone whatever that was. God, did it feel good, though. 

 

What? No! He’s Nancy’s ex, Jonathann. You can’t do that to Nancy, but, ughh, social relationships are hard. 

 

03/02/2025 Tuesday, 03:03 pm

stoners and alcoholics unite

 

ellie smelly: dont u js hate it when u get invested in the reddit story the person next to u is watching, only for them to scroll before u can find out if jake the elementary teacher and alex the construction worker ever found out they were bio brothers, and if jakes gf mia, who was also alexs wife, was caught cheating on them, and if jake and alex ever decide to purse a romantic relationship despite beng bio brothers, they dont know yet tho, and if mia got to confront the both of them for cheating on her and if they ever did a threesome? 

 

robert povert: what in ever loving fuck dym?

 

evie leavie: ed u good, bro?

 

ellie smelly: yh, yh im good, bro

 

evie leavie: good, good

 

topher popper: someone get this off my phone

 

topher popper: what horrendous shit are they coming up with in reddit? 

 

ellie smelly: idfk, bro, but i was investeddd

 

robert povert: im concerned for ur well being

 

eliie smelly: thx, robbie

 

robert povert: yw, dickfuck

 

ellie smelly: yooo, thats kinda homphobic robs

 

robert povert: ed, i am lesbian im not fucking homophobic

 

topher popper: omggg robbies being homophobic 

 

evie leavie: how dare!!

 

robert povert: i hate u guys

 

evie leavie: le gasp

 

topher popper: noooo, robbie stop attacking us homos!!

 

ellie smelly: yhhhh robbbb

 

robert povert: burn and dieeee u sick homos

 

topher popper: NOOOOOOOO

 

ellie smelly: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

evie leavie: noooooo

 

topher popper: wow thx for the enthusiasm steve

 

evie leavie: bite me cunningham

 

topher popper: i would, but i tend to go for ppl with an iq

 

ellie smelly: omg the bi’s r fightingggg

 

robert povert: omgggg

Notes:

The reddit story thing is based on my own og experience. I js made the story more dramatic, it wasnt that incestual.

Chapter 9: bithc

Summary:

BYLER.

There are also brief mentions of James Charles, so if that triggers you, I apologize.

Notes:

Byler isn't a slow burn; it's the other ships that are slow burns, sooo.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

03/05/2025 Friday, 02:09 am

will - mike 

 

mike: hey, lee

 

will: yk i hate that nickname, mike

 

mike: ik, but its cuteeee

 

will: it makes me sound like an old mna

 

mike: nothings wrong with being an old man

 

will: sigh

 

mike: but hey, at least u dont look old?

 

will: siGh

 

mike: okokok, anyway, i texted u to tell ya that im outside

 

will: wtf, mikw how lonh have u been ouy there, its so fuckign raining outsdir!!!

 

mike: eh, ten minutes maybe

 

03/05/2025 Friday, 02:09 am

 

“You idiot! Come inside, fucktard.” Will exclaimed, grabbing Mike by his soaked sleeve and dragging his stick figure of a body inside the warm Byers abode. 

 

“I kinda didn’t expect you to be awake, so my plan was to stand there in self pity, but you’re here!” Oh fuck, that’s right, Mike only called him Lee when he was high, really high. Will could hear it in his voice, the slightly slurred speech, the overpronounced words like he was trying to hide it. The rain had washed most of the smell away, but he could still smell the familiar stench of weed. Mike smelled like his brother, like Argyle, like Argyle’s truck, like the shady guys he used to hold his breath for as he walked past.

 

Mike was high. Fuck. 

 

“Mike, are you high?” He already knew the answer, but he needed to hear it for himself, so when Mike replied, his heart dropped. 

 

“No.” Lie.

 

“Nancy had a little, though; she was with me, in my room, giving me some lecture about self-preservation.” Lie. He was lying through his teeth. Why the fuck is he lying? Fuck. He’s lying again. 

 

“You’re lying.”

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

“Yes, you are! Why are you lying to me?” Will wanted answers. Mike was doing so well, what the fuck changed? He had gotten sober, he was three months in, for fuck’s sake! What pushed him over the edge? Was it the fight? It was about a week ago, and Dustin had started talking to both just a couple of days ago. Was it Lucas? Will, Mike, and Lucas had been the best of friends, and when Dustin joined, they only grew closer. Mike and Lucas were best friends, sure. Most of the time, Mike favored Will, and Lucas favored Dustin. But that was different, Will and Mike were different than Lucas and Mike. 

 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck you, Lucas.

 

Suddenly, Will was mad, angry, furious, even. Will’s usually sweet face contorted into a seething glare; he was mad at Lucas, at himself, at Dustin, even if he’d apologized and it wasn’t his fault. Then, some bitter part of him thought-

 

This is your fucking fault, you ugly freak.

 

03/05/2025 Friday, 02:10 am

"Maddie dear, could you go get the fake toes?"

 

huh?: UGH, i can hear my roommates being gay at two in the fucking morning

 

huh?: send help before i kms yo

 

line dancing: never in my life would i ever have expected to hear jon sau “yo”

 

line dancing: also r we gonna ignore the whole “you hooked up w/ someone” thing? 

 

huh?: for the sake of my sanity, yes

 

line dancing: yk nance is gonna kill you, right?

 

huh?: yep

 

line dancing: got it

 

huh?: what are you doing up anyway?

 

line dancing: i cant sleep, my twin bed isn’t as comfy as it used to be

 

huh?: wait dyr james chralie?

 

line dancing: dym james charles??

 

line dancing: wtf does james charles have anything to do w/ this

 

huh?: will is dressed like the james charles meme where hes super white

 

line dancing: wtf

 

03/05/2025 Friday, 02:15 am

 

Will and Mike were now in their room, trying to keep quiet after Jon shushed them. Will was still freaking, while Mike seemed content to lie on the cold, hard floor that is Will Byers’ room. He stared at the ceiling, eyes glossed over as Will fretted over him, trying to get him to drink water while also scolding Mike’s poor decision making. 

 

Mike sat up with the usefulness of a dead rat on the ground of incoming traffic. Will called him a plethora of names, all meaning the same thing. Stupid. Will pressed the cup to his lips, trying not to focus on how pink Mike’s lips were when they were wet, how the shine only made his lips look more captivating, how his tongue almost darted out of his mouth, but stopped and just sat pressed against his bottom lip. His brows furrowed as he grumbled under his breath, but did little to actually stop what was going on; his arms sat uselessly at his sides, fiddling with the pockets on his thighs of his dark green cargo pants.

 

Will watched Mike’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed the water. Some of the liquid had dripped down to his chin, sliding down to his throat and wetting his collar. In the back of his throat, Mike made a sound akin to a whine. Gaining back his senses, Will finally realized he’d been holding the back of Mike’s head and pouring the water down his mouth forcefully, and basically all the water had spilled on Mike instead of making it in his mouth.

 

Fuck.

 

03/05/2025 Friday, 03:17 am

"Maddie dear, could you go get the fake toes?"

 

ask mom: whyre you guys up?

 

ask mom: why am i up? 

 

line dancing: your colwn poster is still in the corner of your room

 

ask mom: bro, i legit just looked at the corner of my room and got chills when i didnt see it, only to remember im not in fucking hawkins

 

line dancing: hAh L 

 

ask mom: oh, so fuck you, too

 

huh?: ladies ladies

 

line dancing: fuck you jon

 

ask mom: fuck you, jon

 

huh?: damn, not the hate on little ol’ me

 

line dancing: god, you sound like richie

 

huh?: huh?

 

huh?: who in tf is richie?

 

ask mom: i, too, am confused

 

line dancing: uhh, gotta blast, byeeeeeeeeee

 

huh?: bithc

 

ask mom: bithc

 

huh?: fuck AWF

 

ask mom: nah

 

huh?: BITHC

 

ask mom: lmao

Notes:

Congrats! You've just read through 1,030 words of absolute BULLSHIT that I pulled out of my ass mid-class. How do you feel?

Chapter 10: coconut water and sterile milk

Summary:

Fun in the crackhouse.

Notes:

Hehe.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

03/07/2025 Saturday, 11:22 am

stan, dont go into psychosis

 

stan get a tan: what the fucking fuck, richie, where are you???

 

pls dont jUmp me: theres a reason why u dont drink milk after coconut water

 

joe nielsen: you drink coconut water?

 

pls dont jUmp me: i read onlie u could get poisened by that, nd i guess google was rite

 

aide gary: hol up, imma fact check u 

 

ariel sucks dick: wait, but richie, if not movie, and not home, where r u?

 

pls dont jUmp me: c r a c k h o u s e 

 

a avocado, thx!: che istg

 

a avocado, thx!: WTF DYM?????

 

a avocado, thx!: r u okay????

 

a avocado, thx!: why in the fuck r u in the crackhouse????

 

(cries): WHY WOULD YOU DRINK COCONUT WATER AND MILK, DUMBASS?

 

stan get a tan: fuck you, tozier, i was looking forward to seeing that movie w/ you

 

a avocado, thx!: not helping, uris

 

stan get a tan: bite me, denbrough

 

aide gary: can confirm he is in fact inside the crackhouse, and on the ground, a can of steril milk beside him as well as an empty glass of what i presume the coconut water was in

 

a avocado, thx!: but is he okay???

 

aide gary: not sure, hes just repeating “billy” like a shit ton of times, p sure his phone is dead tho

 

(cries): g a y 

 

ariel sucks dick: no one is straight here, eddie

 

joe nielsen: hey wait

 

ariel sucks dick: ur ace

 

joe nielsen: yes but i feel no attraction to men, only women

 

ariel sucks dick: oh shit yh, nvm, 90% of this gc is gay 

 

(cries): dam

 

aide gary: PJO REFERENCE??? 

 

a avocado, thx!: shut up, i wk if che is alright

 

aide gary: hes fine, lets meet at the clubhouse

 

(cries): ill get my richie diasaters bag

 

ariel sucks dick: isnt that just ur medkit tho?

 

(cries): yes?

 

ariel sucks dick: damn ok

 

stan get a tan: wait, who has the richie repelent spray? If hes gonna be insufferable, i need leverage

 

joe nielsen: i do, ill bring it omw to the clubhouse

 

stan get a tan: sick

 

aide gary: ok, but why is richie lowk so light

 

a avocado, thx!: idk but hes been trying to gain some weight so he doesnt draw attention to his malnourished looking ass

 

aide gary: thats good, i dont think he should be this light at this age

 

(cries): he shouldnt, and im glad hes trying to gain more weight, it’d probably be healthier for him anyway

 

a avocado, thx!: thats what i said!

 

stan get a tan: you traitors, where the fyck is everyone, only mike, richie, and i are here

 

a avocado, thx!: i was across town with a friend, but i omw

 

aide gary: richie says he misses you, and to hurry over here while stan is pretending to not fret over richie

 

stan get a tan: suck my dick, hanlon

 

aide gary: gladly

 

ariel sucks dick: get a room omgg

 

joe nielsen: im here and stan is totally fretting over richie like a mom

 

aide gary: RIGHT??? 

 

ariel sucks dick: a single mom who works two jobs, who loves her kids and never stops

 

stan get a tan: fuck off

 

(cries): wait, bill, which friend were you w/?? u dont have friends

 

a avocado, thx!: u r living proof that that is nit true, but ok

 

(cries): ur avoiding the question, also mike im here, stop trying to get him to drink water, let him puke it up so it gets out of his system

 

a avocado, thx!: i am nit avoiding the question!

 

aide gary: ok then, back to the bathroom he goes

 

stan get a tan: bill when will you get here? hes starting to be bitch about missing his boyf

 

a avocado, thx!: im almost there hold on

 

stan get a tan: richie says to get here quicker

 

a avocado, thx!: im almost there, che

 

ariel sucks dick: hah, richie looks stupid, wtf is he wearing?

 

joe nielsen: could not tell you

 

a avocado, thx!: why is literally every1 there but me?

 

joe nielsen: cuz ur a slow poke

 

a avocado, thx!: damn, and to think i saved you from death

 

joe nielsen: u literally did nothing, eddie did all the work

 

(cries): true, thx for the recognition, benny

 

joe nielsen: yw, eddie

 

a avocado, thx!: damn ok, be like that ig

 

aide gary: richie says to stop flirting with ben

 

a avocado, thx!: i am not flirting, che, also, question

 

aide gary: no

 

a avocado, thx!: bitch, anywya, how does richie know what were saying??

 

aide gary: im reading out the texts for him

 

aide gary: richie says im a good friend, thx honey

 

a avocado, thx!: dont flirt w/ my boyf, micycle

 

aide gary: MICYCLE??? richie says thats a good nickname, thx bill

 

aide gary: fuck u too, puke face, bill when r u getting hereeeee

 

aide gary: im gonna kms wtfff, richie is being so annoying

 

a avocado, thx!: hold AWN, god

Notes:

Was not intending on adding IT to this fic, but then I thought, f r e e w i l l, so, boom, bitch, crossover fic, also, Richie is now Madeline's cousin, and no we are not addressing the fact Mike and Richie look the same.

Not sure what Bill and Richie's ship name is so, imma go with Bichie cause it's funny.