Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The elevator dinged.

Philza blinked, watching the doors open expectantly. His hair was done up neatly, wrapped with a green ribbon into a bun, and his tie matched it. His eyes felt a bit puffy, so he gave them a quick rub as he stepped out.

“Elevator allergies…” He muttered, mostly to himself. Philza laughed softly at the half-joke, and that weird hollow ache in his chest he had every day faded with it.

He looked over his outfit, briefly. The suit was more black than navy blue this time, and the shirt was slightly wrinkled. Maybe the iron didn’t quite feel like it today, or maybe it was humid. His pants matched his suit jacket at least, which was better than the day before.

He was here early today, the clock said so. It was 8:55 on the dot. That meant he got the 5 'o'clock leave time, which didn’t really mean much to him but it was nice to know.

It was now 8:56.

He should probably get going.

The white hallways were long. They looked pretty much the same in every direction, but he knew the path by heart, so he didn’t get lost. The lights were off in the office, because Philza was the first to arrive. He clicked them on, watching the room slowly come into cool-toned sight.

Also as the first, he put it upon himself to make the coffee. He was pretty good at it, even though he always felt like he didn’t know what he was doing each time he touched the machine. The team said they liked it at least.

It was 9:05 when the next refiner arrived.

Nihachu gave Philza a wave, and he waved back.

“Morning Phil.” She took the coffee Philza offered her. He smiled.

“Morning Niki.” Informal names weren’t really encouraged, but they weren’t calling her Nihachu every time they needed to address her. It was just too long a name, and she preferred Niki anyways. “How are you?”

“Hungover, I think.” She took a sip, grimacing at the bright lights she directly looked at. Philza nodded politely. “I think my outie went partying this weekend.”

“Well, that’s not great.” He took a sip of his own coffee. The burn that he got on his tongue soothed him more than it reasonably should. Nihachu just shook her head.

She was dressed well today. She had a nice preference for pinks and darks, so her pencil skirt was black, and her shirt was a pale pink. Her hair was down, and her makeup was a bit extreme for an office setting, but still pretty.

When 9:10 rolled around, Technoblade came in. Philza and Nihachu were already at their desks that point, and neither of them got up to directly greet him. 

Philza did nod at him, though he only got a huff in return.

Technoblade wasn’t much for socialization; it seemed to just be a part of his personality really. He preferred to work in silence, and he preferred work over talking. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, he was a rule follower, and they always got quota because of him. 

Philza reminded himself of that so no hurt would be boiling in his stomach.

Technoblade was always dressed nicely. He had gold jewelry, though nothing too flashy of course, and long pink hair that he always had in a braid, or other, similarly fancy hairdo. His suit was black today, and so was his tie. Phil didn’t know a lot about braids, but he thinks it’s a french braid today.

The fourth desk was empty. It would probably be empty for a while. Philza didn’t know why Deo was let go so suddenly. Maybe he had really messed up his refinement. But Philza would hear about that first, wouldn’t he? He was department chief after all, though that title felt more like just honorary rather than an actual promotion of sorts.

Maybe it was something else.

It didn’t really matter anyways. Deo wasn’t coming back, and it’s not like they could complain about it. He wasn’t coming back.

Philza powered on his monitor, watching the files flip through until he got the one he was assigned. Sunset Rocky Pen. It was a nice name, in his opinion. “Philza C.”

Philza jumped in his chair, whipping around to see Mr. Lore. He hadn’t heard him enter. Everyone else was looking, even if they weren’t the ones addressed.

“Mr. Lore.” Philza stood, smoothing out his jacket. “What brings you here? Is something wrong?” He hoped there wasn’t more trouble. He couldn’t really take much more trouble.

Mr. Lore smiled. It wasn’t as comforting as he probably thought it was. “No. No trouble at all.” He shook his head, taking a step forward. 

“You have a new recruit to welcome.” 

—-

Philza got hit with a mug. 

Honestly, it’s not the worst thing the kid could have done. All he got for it was a slight scrape, and a minor headache, so it was alright. He was going to get a reprimand for letting it get so out of hand, but it was alright. New recruits were hard to handle. 

That’s what Philza told himself at least.

He sat still as Mr. Lore patched up the scrap with a nice red bandaid. He didn’t flinch at the feeling of rubbing alcohol seeping into the cut, the stinging felt nice.

He watched Ranboo B. from just outside the manager’s office. Ranboo B. was the new recruit. He seemed a bit young- way too young honestly. But Philza didn’t know how the outside world worked, or even the other departments; maybe Ranboo was the perfect age and the rest of the department was old for it.

He tried not to listen in, but he did try to watch. Ranboo B. had a pretty nice outfit- their tie was red, and their suit jacket and pants were blacker than Phil’s own. His shirt wasn’t wrinkled either, though it was a bit untucked from all the first-day dramatics.

When Ranboo B. was escorted out, Philza stood up. He smiled up at the teen; he was a lot taller than him, it was honestly rather strange. No one bothered to comment on it.

“....uh-.... Sorry for… throwing a mug at you.” Ranboo mumbled. Philza waved it off.

“Oh it’s alright- orientation is always pretty disorientating for new recruits. It happens.” Ranboo B. clearly didn’t quite believe him based on the face they made. They started walking, followed closely behind by Mr. Lore. “It does! I threatened to kill my department chief on my first day. It’ll be alright.”

Ranboo’s expression just seemed to worsen, and Philza just nodded to himself. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that, but it was true! He did do that!

When Ranboo B. didn’t reply, Philza decided to fill the following silence. “A lot of the departments are empty at the moment- but they’re expanding.”

“Am I part of that expansion?” Ranboo’s pace made Philza have to walk pretty fast to keep up. They had long legs.

Philza shook his head, “No. You’re… a replacement.” He tried to hide how bitter the word was on his tongue. It seemed to work, since Ranboo B. just looked faintly confused. Thankfully, he didn’t need to really say more, because they were at the office within the next minute.

“Refiners!” Mr. Lore chirped, coming around Philza’s left side to stand in front of him and the new recruit. Both Nihachu and Technoblade’s heads popped from their desks, but only Technoblade stood. 

“Please welcome your new crewmate, Ranboo B!” Mr Lore motioned towards Ranboo beside Philza, who waved awkwardly at being announced. Everyone’s eyebrows went up, no doubt noticing the same thing Philza had.

Ranboo B was young.

Of course, none of them said anything. It would be rude to, but they were all thinking about it.

When no one said anything, Mr. Lore continued with his speech. “These are your co-workers. You’ve already met Philza C. as your Department Chief. But this here is Technoblade A.-” Mr Lore motioned over to Technoblade he spoke. Technoblade politely waved. “-and that fine lady there is Nihachu S.” Nihachu stood then and waved with a bit more enthusiasm.

Mr Lore grinned, and it was mostly a habit to grin with him. Ranboo B. didn’t grin.

“Today you will get settled into your job, and tomorrow, we will have your welcome party!” Mr. Lore gave his voice a little cheer and patted Ranboo’s shoulder. Ranboo didn’t seem all that happy.

After a moment, Mr. Lore just smiled, and walked away, leaving them all be. He didn’t say goodbye, but there wasn’t really a need to.

Philza nodded, “Alright, let’s get you settled Ranboo.” He motioned the teen forward while Nihachu and Technoblade returned to their own desks. Ranboo followed where he had motioned to, the free desk that was sat next to Philza’s own.

They sat down in the chair, looking up at Philza for additional prompting. Philza awkwardly bent down to be level, something in his spine popping uncomfortably. At least he never dealt with the sore backs.

“Okay, so, this is your monitor. All the work we need to do is mostly on this. You’ll turn it on like that-” Philza flicked the switch on the side, watching the text and then the company logo flashed onto screen. “-and it’ll automatically assign you a file, okay?” It did that as he spoke, inevitably giving Ranboo the same one they were all working on.

Ranboo nodded, but it seemed to be more out of politeness than really understanding. When the file opened, they were happily presented with the encrypted data. 

Ranboo blinked at the numbers. “...is this meant to mean something to me?”

“No.” Philza shook his head. “No it’s uh- it’s all encrypted, see?” He scrolled around with the roll ball a bit to show the endless numbers on the screen. “We’re just supposed to sort it into the categories.”

“How am I supposed to sort them if I don’t know what they are?”

“Oh uh- you’ll… feel it.” Philza cringed at his own words. “See like- Category One is scary! So we find the outline of it-” He leaned over it a bit to do it, and show Ranboo how it worked “-and send it in!” He clicked, sending the group of numbers into Category One, and leaned back.

Ranboo didn’t look any less confused. “Scary?” He laughed softly, like they were expecting it to really be a joke. When Philza didn’t return the humor, their face dropped some. “...scary numbers. Alright, okay…”

Philza just nodded, backing off a bit to let Ranboo try for themself.

“It’s alright if you don’t get the hang of it immediately!” Nihachu piped up, lowering the frame of her cubicle so Ranboo could see her. “It takes some practice to spot them. You get better the longer you're here.”

Ranboo hummed acknowledgement, looking back at his screen. “...ahhh. A four…. The horror….”

Philza huffed softly at the sarcasm. It was pretty funny, even if it made Technoblade glare.

“Our work is serious.” Technoblade didn’t look up from his screen. Nihachu rolled her eyes, mouthing “ignore him” to Ranboo.

“Oh come on Techno. It’s his first day- let him have a bit of fun!” Philza smiled. Technoblade just huffed at him, but did indeed leave it be. A win, in his opinion.

Ranboo looked up from his monitor. “When do we leave?”

“Oh! Uh-” Philza sat down at his desk, though he didn’t scoot in yet. “We work 9 to 5- but we’re staggered.”

Nihachu lowered her frame again. “It’s so our outies don’t run into each other on the way out.”

“Our Outies?”

“The version of us that goes outside.” Technoblade grunted. “We don’t leave here. For us we go back up and then go back down. They’re the ones who have a life out there.”

Ranboo frowned, but they didn’t get to say anything because Nihachu cut in. “Phil really likes theorizing about his outie! It’s pretty fun-” Philza nodded. He did do that, it was pretty nice to do on long days, or longer weeks.

“I- what do you mean we can’t leave?” Ranboo pressed, ignoring Nihachu entirely.

“We can’t leave.” Techno repeated. “We don’t exist outside of here. Our consciousness gets knocked out until our outie comes back here.” He stood, taking his empty cup with him. “I’m getting more coffee.”

Ranboo opened his mouth to say more, but the pinkette was already walking away. He turned to Nihachu who simply let her frame go up. When Ranboo turned to Phil next, he shoved himself further into his cubicle, out of view. He was not letting Technoblade put that on him. His escape tactic was clever, but he started that conversation, and he would finish it. 

Sure, Philza was the department chief- reasonably he should probably explain it to Ranboo, but, well… he didn’t want to.

So he just didn’t.  

Chapter Text

The elevator dinged. 

Phil blinked, watching the doors open expectantly. His head throbbed, and he had to hold back a wince at it. Jesus, ow- what happened?

When he stepped out, Dan gave a wave. He didn’t look up from his desk though, not that Phil expected him to. It was just a wave.

Still, Phil returned it. “Evenin’”

The time display above the guard’s desk read 5:01. Okay, nice. That was the earliest leave time he could have gotten.

He sighed softly, going straight for his locker, trading his work shoes for his boots, and his keycard for his ID card. He undid his hair while he was at it, tying the green ribbon around his wrist, and shaking his hair out. It’s gotten a bit past his shoulders now, he should probably get a haircut sooner rather than later.

“See you tomorrow mate.” Dan did not give a reply, which Phil didn’t really expect.

The parking lot was mostly full when Phil headed out, which made sense. He had the earliest leave time today, and so he was the earliest to actually leave the lot. 

There was a gift card left on his windshield.

Great.

Gift cards normally meant something happened during work hours, especially if they came with a note like this one. Phil sighed internally, flipping the gift card over to see where it was for before reading the note that came with it.

‘Your innie hit his head on a projector during work today. Please take this VIP gift card to Taco John’s as an apology!’

Phil cringed a bit internally, bringing his hand up to his head. A bandage was pressed beside his temple, which he hadn’t noticed before now. He recognized as where the throb his head had been coming from this entire time.

Jesus, how hard did he hit that thing?

He just exhaled, pocketing the card and note, and wiping the snow off his windshield. He rubbed his eyes before getting in the car, and immediately shivered. It was freezing in there, the leather seats managing to somehow be colder than the air around.

“Fucking shit-” Phil hissed, starting the car, and upping the heater to full blast. It took a moment for the air to actually get warm, but once it did, he buckled in and actually started to get going. 

And almost immediately hit a kid.

“Sorry!” Phil waved one-handed as the both stopped. He cringed internally as the brunette glared at him, which was a bit deserved honestly. They didn’t give him a reply, just squinting at him angrily and continuing to their own car. 

What a lovely start to his evening. 

At least he didn’t actually hit them. Why was there a teen here anyways?

—-

Phil had to turn the heating on when he got into his house; it was as cold inside as it was outside. He beelined for the kitchen, checking blankly on the plant he had sat on the fridge. 

He should probably get a watering routine, instead of just… guessing, but hey, it’s still alive. It didn’t seem to need more water today, so he moved on.

He grabbed ramen from the pantry, opening it half way. He checked the water amount in the kettle, and put it on the stove to boil. He used to cook a lot more, actually cook, but he couldn’t bring himself to waste time making chili for just him.

His phone buzzed faintly with a call on the counter. He took a breath, picking it up and checking the caller ID before he answered.

“Dad! Hey!” Wilbur’s voice came through clear as day. Phil smiled at it.

“Hey Wil,” Phil took a fork from the utensil drawer. “How’s it going?”

“It’s- it’s been good! Uh- Tommy and Tubbo are being Tommy and Tubbo, y’know?” Wilbur sounded a bit out of breath, and Phil chuckled at it. They were all at college, all three of them. 

Tommy and Tubbo had graduated… well, everything, early, making them the youngest college freshmen Phil knew of. Meanwhile Wilbur was simply in his second year. It made for quite an empty house.

“Well, if they die it’s on you.” Phil turned the stove off before the kettle started whistling, but there was still steam coming out of the spout. “They aren’t my responsibility out there.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah- I’m their legal guardian and all that shit. I won’t let them die, if I can help it.” Wilbur deadpanned. Phil just snorted, pouring the boiling water into the instant noodles. He sealed the paper lid back up with the weight of his fork. “How’s work?”

“I don’t know.” Phil rolled his eyes, just staring at his noodles now. “Apparently I walked into a projector this morning though.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, got a gift card out of it too. John’s Tacos.”

“Oh god, I hate that place. ”

Phil just hummed in faint agreement. “Well, I’ll give it to your brothers when you guys come home for spring break alright? They can go wild at John’s Tacos.” That earned Phil a laugh, and he enjoyed it.

He could hear Wilbur move on his bed, the fabric shuffling. “They’ll get our entire family banned.”

“Good. Then work can’t keep giving me shitty gift cards.” Phil snorted to himself mostly. He could hear Wilbur’s eyeroll. “How’s classes?”

“They’re going okay. I have my psychology midterm next week-” Wilbur yawned “- and Tommy is apparently making a nuclear reactor or something like that for his exams.” 

“Of course, of course.” Phil just exhaled softly, taking the styrofoam cup of noodles from the counter and bringing it to the playroom. “Just don’t let him make it in your dorm alright? I don’t need my boys getting radiation poisoning.”

Wilbur made a faint sound of affirmative.

“You boys are eating well?” He asked, peeling the lid off his instant noodle cup.

“We’ve been eating dad! ” Wilbur sounded exasperated. “We aren’t five anymore.”

“Oi, don’t sound so offended- I’m just doing my job mate.” He shook his head, mixing the noodles with the broth so there wasn’t just a soppy block of noodles at the top of his food. “You have your vegetables and shit? Not just pancakes endlessly?”

Wilbur’s exaggerated sigh made Phil grin. “Yes dad.”

"Good.” Phil chirped, putting his fork to the side in favor of grabbing the remote

“Mm. I got to go- Night dad.”

“Night Wil. Say hi to your brothers for me, okay?” Phil just got a faint sound of affirmative before the line went dead. He put his phone down, starting whatever game show was on TV, and ate. 

The noodles were soggy.

—-

“Phil!! There’s the town hermit!” Puffy called out his entrance to everyone in the shop. Phil winced softly, hurrying to the counter to avoid her calling him out more then once.

“Hello Puffy.” He sighed softly, though he did offer her a smile. She smiled a lot brighter than him. “Thanks for that. Ever consider your callouts are why I don't come out very often anymore?”

Puffy didn’t take an inch of his sarcasm. “What? You are a bit of a hermit at this point.” There was a bit more concern in her tone then she really let through, and he pointedly ignored it. She continued when Phil didn’t reply to her mostly rhetorical statement. “How are the boys doing? Any updates from the little geniuses?”

“They’re alright. I think they’re making friends for once.” Phil shook his head slightly, amused. “I swear, you care for them more than you do me.”

“Maybe I do. How’s work?”

“You know I don’t know.” Phil rubbed his forehead. Puffy sighed at him.

“I can believe you did the procedure Phil… cutting your consciousness in half is bit beyond controversial.”

“It’s fine Puffy. I’m fine.” Phil shook his head, following her down the line. “I’m perfectly healthy, and the reports I got show my innie is equally so.”  Puffy sighed, but left it be.

“Your usual?” She was already bagging the croissant before Phil could even give that a yes or no so it’s not like he actually had a choice in the matter.

“I’ll see you around Puffy.” He just took the food he was offered, nodding at her and getting a nod back before he walked away.  He proceeded to nearly walk straight into a lady in the doorway.

“Oh uh-” She stepped back to let Phil pass her, shifting awkwardly to give him enough room to fit. “Sorry-”

“No, no- you’re fine-” Phil waved the apology off. He couldn’t get by immediately though, as more people came in, forcing them both to stand sideways awkwardly. “It was my fault too, I should’ve looked where I was going.”

She nodded. After a moment, she glanced up at him. “You a usual here?”

“Yeah- you?” She nodded again, and Phil nodded back. The awkwardness returned until the stream of people trickled away enough for him to get by. 

As he stepped around, she went in, and was greeted. “Niki!! Hi, how are you!” He glanced back to see the two ladies happily chatting, Puffy with as much enthusiasm as she had had with him. They must be friends then, that was nice. 

Phil felt horribly awkward now.

—-

Phil stopped by the flower shop, which he barely had to say a word at. He was a regular there too now, and so he didn't really need to talk. He could just grab a bouquet and pay and then go most times, unless the price had changed.

The counter guy was a nice enough guy though, even if Phil could never remember his name. It wasn’t like Phil was against talking to him when he had to.

The guy called out to him while he looked over what was there. “Slight price change today man! Lilies went up five bucks.” Phil just gave him a slight nod, not moving from where he was to address it. 

The pink ones were nice today. They were probably fresh (or fresher )  then the rest considering the lack of wilt compared to the ones around it, so he took those. With a wave, and placing 45 dollars of cash on the counter, he was out the door, carrying the brown wrapped bouquet out with him. 

The day was pretty nice, if not a bit cold. The sun speaking between buildings did little to actually warm anything. It was still winter, though hopefully it would be dying off soon. Phil could do without the slipping and sliding on unsalted sidewalks.

It was a short walk to the graveyard at least. 

Chapter Text

“It’s the next day?” Ranboo blinked at Philza, taking the papers he passed down to them.

“Actually, it’s been two days.” Philza climbed down off the step-stool, handing Ranboo the rest. They were dressed pretty similarly as to when he saw them last. Black suit, nice white shirt, and a green tie this time. A bit of a bright green, but it didn’t look bad on them. “It’s a Monday!” 

Ranboo looked borderline horrified, which was understandable. It hadn’t felt like any time had passed at all.

“I try to focus on the feeling of how we slept.” Philza patted Ranboo’s shoulder. He wasn’t the best at comforting people- but he could certainly try for the kid “Feelin’ refreshed y’know? It grounds you.” He walked out, glancing back to make sure Ranboo was following with the papers they had been given.

Philza started loading the papers into the copy machine when Nihachu  walked in.

“Morning Niki.” He greeted. “Coffee’s in the pot.”

“Morning Phil. Morning Ranboo!” She went straight for the coffee maker. Ranboo gave her a hesitant wave before turning back to Philza. 

“How do we leave? Can we leave? Can I quit?” Ranboo pressed. Philza didn’t let himself return the kid’s urgency; it wasn’t healthy.

“I mean- you can put in a slip of resignation for your outie to approve.” Philza stood up, retrieving another set of 8.5 x 14 papers from Ranboo’s arms. “But they don’t tend to get approved. I wouldn’t get your hopes up.”

“Okay well, how do I do that?” He seemed to completely ignore Philza’s second and third statement. Philza sighed at it.

“I’ll get you the request slip for it, okay? Then they’ll process the slip, and we’ll get you the form.”

Ranboo nodded, clearly already impatient. Philza finished refilling the printer and copier in silence.

“Do you want some coffee too Ranboo?” Nihachu leaned into the main room, holding her own mug. Her hair was half up today, the back of her hair up in a small and nice pony. She was wearing a light pink polo shirt today, with dark dress pants. It looked nice on her. Ranboo didn’t get to reply before she continued. “Phil makes the best coffee out of all of us!”

Ranboo glanced at Philza. “Uh- sure, yeah- I guess.” He nodded, though he stood where they were. Nihachu stared for a moment, before making a face.

“Well, come on! You need to come pick out your mug!”

“My mug?”

“Yeah.” Philza pulled Ranboo in gently, watching Nihachu open the cupboard of identical looking mugs. “Everyone gets their own cup- it’s a tradition!”

“Oh uh-” Ranboo’s eyes darted over the corporate labelled mugs that proudly displayed the Ovumlo logo. They reached in, picking out a faded one, the colors worn and chipped. “This one?”

“...Sure!” Philza nodded, grabbing the pot. “Now you have your coffee mug!” He took it and poured Ranboo some coffee, smiling. “Just for you.” Ranboo nodded, taking it back when Phil offered it.

Nihachu nodded her head towards the fridge. “Creamer’s in there.”

“Oh.” Ranboo nodded, fumbling over to get the fridge and get said cream. They all kind of just stood around as he did so.

It was 9:10 when Technoblade arrived. He stood next to Philza, squinting in some mix of mild confusion and annoyance, but not nearly enough of either to act on it.

“Morning mate!” Philza just got a faint sound in return. It wasn’t even really a grunt, it was more an exhale. Philza just smiled instead of bothering to frown. “Coffee?” Philza offered up the pot, which Technoblade did take from his hands.

He already had his mug, since he kept it on his desk, and probably grabbed it on his way in. They all kept their mugs on their desks, it helped with preventing them from getting mixed up!

Technoblade’s braids were different today. It’s not like Phil would really know the differences between braid types, but they were different! His tie was maroon, and his suit was navy blue. It didn’t mix as well close up as it did far away unfortunately, but it still looked nice. Went with his hair and eyes pretty well.

After a while of standing there, Technoblade returned the now near empty coffee pot to its station (after pouring himself some of course). They stood there for a moment. It was the slightest bit awkward.

“Alright!” Philza clapped his hands together to get everyone’s attention. “We should get to work- Mr. Lore will be in later today for Ranboo’s welcome party!” Everyone nodded except Ranboo, who just sort of stood there. They were last to shuffle out with everyone, but Phil made sure he’d actually get to his desk.

“Your party will be nice.” Philza smiled at Ranboo. “We get a melon bar! It’ll be great.” Ranboo didn’t seem to be excited about that yet.

They’ll probably get excited when he actually sees the melon bar. It’s pretty damn good melon. 

—-

“Refiners!” Mr. Lore chirped, holding the classic red ball as he entered their office. Everyone looked up from the computers, except Ranboo who hadn’t been looking at his at all. “It’s time to start Ranboo’s welcome party! Philza, if you don’t mind?”

Philza blinked, before realizing when he was being prompted to do. “Oh! Sorry-” He fumbled to get up, and pulled the chairs from the kitchenette to help set up. Mr. Lore smiled like he was proud.

Technoblade huffed softly, annoyed he was pulled from his work, but he still got up first, taking a seat in the circle Philza was setting up. Nihachu got up with a lot more excitement, and Ranboo followed since everyone else was over there. 

“Let me start.” Mr. Lore held the red ball, grinning. It was habit to grin with him. “My name is Mr. Lore, I’ve worked here for say…. 5 years now. And one thing about me is…” He seemed to consider what he was going to say for a moment. “My favorite color is blue! Oh, and he/him, of course.” 

He rolled it to Technoblade, who picked it up only when it hit his foot. “I’m Technoblade A., I’ve been here for four years and… one thing about me is that I know the core ideals by heart. He/Him.” He did let an ounce of emotion into his voice, not that Phil expected there to be. He rolled it back over to Mr. Lore.

“Ooh, wonderful.” Mr. Lore picked the ball back up, smiling at Technoblade. “What’s your favorite?”

“...all of them.”

“Great answer!”

Nihachu smiled, making a sound of acknowledgement to be involved, and it caught Mr. Lore’s attention. He tossed the ball to her, and she fumbled to catch it.

“Oh! Oh uh-” Nihachu drummed her nails on the ball for a moment. “I’m Nihachu S., I’ve been here for… three years I want to say? And… something about me is that I own the most amount of finger traps in the department!” She beamed, because it was something to be proud of, and envious of. It meant good work, and it meant she had perks they didn’t have. “She/Her.”

Mr. Lore nodded, and motioned for her to pass it along. She slid it over to Ranboo, who frowned at being given the ball.

“Uh…” They stared at it for a moment, long enough for the silence to be awkward.

Mr. Lore shifted in his seat. “Your name, how long you’ve been here, and something about yourself, and your pronouns!” He prompted. His smile didn’t change it a bit, but neither did Ranboo’s frown.

“...Well, uh… I’m Ranboo B. I guess. I’ve been here for like- 10 hours maybe? He/They… And… Well, I don’t really know anything about me so-” Ranboo tossed it back to Mr. Lore, who immediately tossed it back.

“Yes you do.”

Ranboo seemed to glare. “No, I don’t.” His voice was also a bit angry, which didn’t make sense to Philza. It really wasn’t smart to get angry with Mr. Lore, at least not openly. “I don’t know if i have a family, if I have parents, siblings- I don’t even know where I live- ”

“I like to think my outie lives on a riverside.” Philza regretted bringing attention over to himself almost instantly. Ranboo glowered at him like he had just spat in their face. Mr. Lore’s smile had only slightly faltered throughout this, and now the faltered grin was on him. Philza cleared his throat.

“Right, our outies.” It seemed the venom in Ranboo’s tone had only gotten worse. “By the way, can I write mine a note or something? A let-know that I don’t want to be here?” Mr. Lore just hummed softly.

“Well, what you’ll find here is that communication here is pretty curl-tailed… There are code sensors in the elevator, so they won’t get any message you leave for them.” That answer didn’t seem to make Ranboo any happier, but Mr. Lore took the ball from him not-so gently. “Why don’t we more on? Philza C?” 

He just handed Philza the ball, and now attention was bad on him again. Great. 

“Uh… I’m Philza C. and… I’ve been here for a bit over two years now… He/Him” The eyes felt oppressive. They were friends here, he had to remind himself that. Most of them were at least. “Something about me is that….. I…. I’m excited for the melon bar!” He tried to smile, and the smile was returned back to him.

“Well that’s wonderful.” Mr. Lore stood, taking the ball from Philza’s hand. “Because it’s all ready for you to go! Please, feel free to snack on all the melon you would like!” He motioned to the small table lined with the delectables that had been pushed under Ranboo’s welcome banner that had been up since they got here this morning.

Nihachu was the first away, going straight for what Philza knew as honeydew. It was her favorite. Technoblade went for the average watermelon, picking up a toothpick and paper plate for himself before he even started looking.

Just like the last few times, Ranboo was last up, but Philza waited for him.

“...The melon’s pretty good.” Ranboo didn’t really reply, but they did nod. Philza nodded back. He poked a cantaloupe square with a toothpick, eating it to almost try and prove it.

It was a shame that the melon was sour.

Chapter Text

“Chocolate or vanilla Lullah?”

“Both!” 

“That’s not an option.” Phil chuckled lightly, glancing down at the brown-haired girl next to him. They were at the local-ish donut shop, and have been standing at the counter for the past ten minutes. His feet were starting to go numb. “Chocolate or Vanilla? C’mon, you’re holding up your brother.”

Channaye already had his donut picked out, patiently waiting at Phil’s other side. He glanced up when Phil mentioned him. “Why can’t we get both?”

Oh god both of them now. Philza winced a bit internally.

“Because Missa said so. You can’t get two donuts, either of you.” Philza made sure to look at both of them with a raised eyebrow.

“Papa Missa isn’t in charge of you.” Channaye grinned, bouncing on his heels. Phil pointed at him for that one.

“No. I am not falling for that again.” Phil ignored the pout that earned him from both the kids. “Chocolate or Vanilla mate, we can get the other flavor next time.”

Talluah sighed that very, oh-so defeated sigh of a child being denied extra sweets. “Chocolate….”

Phil nodded. “Good choice.” Talluah didn’t really stop pouting, but Phil ignored it in favor of ordering. “One old fashioned, one chocolate frosted please.”

Channaye frowned, “Are you not going to get one?”

Philza shook his head. “No. I don’t want one.” Channaye didn’t stop frowning at Phil, but he didn’t say it that much mind. He was probably offended on the donuts’ behalf. 

Phil took the bag of donuts when he was handed it, leading the kids out of the shop. He handed them their treats once they were safely walking down the sidewalk, crumpling the bag in his hand.

“Gracias Papa Phil.” Talluah smiled again, and Phil smiled back at her. Channaye just made a faint ‘thank you’-esque grunt since he was already eating, which Phil took with the same amount of joy.

They just walked for a bit, vaguely in the direction of the park. The ice wasn’t yet melted, winter was still pushing despite it being now late February. It was real stubborn here.  Phil tossed the paper bag away into a trashcan as they passed it.

“Papa?” Talluah looked up at him.

“Hm?”

“When are you going to marry Missa?”

Phil slipped on some ice.

He managed to catch himself on a pole, clearing his throat as he tried to get some presence of mind. “What?!-” 

Talluah didn’t remotely react to Philza’s near fall. “When are you going to marry Missa?” She repeated.

“I- I’m not. Not for while at least.” He cleared his throat again, resuming walking (a bit more carefully- who salted the sidewalks this morning?).

“Why not?” Channaye tilted his head, already done with his donut. Philza sighed internally, and then externally.

“Well, marriage is a big deal…” Phil scratched the back of his neck. He really should get that haircut. “I’m not ready for it, and neither is your father.”

Talluah nodded in understanding, and so did Channaye. They continued walking for a bit before Talluah tugged on Philza’s sleeve.

“Is it because your wife is dead Papa Phil?”

Lord, these kids need tact.

Phil just took a breath in and out, and then sighed. He smiled gently at her. “Yes, that’s part of it.” Talluah nodded and finally seemed to let the idea of marriage go for now.

The park was in view now, the grass frosted by dew that turned to ice, and the small, small playground being far too dangerous and slippery to play on anytime soon. But that’s not why they were going there anyways.

“Aiii- there you three are! I was worried someone had gotten mugged or something.” Missa picked Channaye up when they got close, the boy beaming.

“Phil fell over.” He provided, and Missa gave a semi-dramatic gasp, shifting to hold with one hand.

“Uh oh- You okay man?” Phil swatted away the worried hand reaching for him gently, nodding.

“I didn’t fall. I slipped- and caught myself. I’m okay.”

Missa nodded, biting the inside of his cheek for a moment before moving on from whatever he wanted to say. “They didn’t cause you too much trouble did they?”

“No, no- they were good today.” Phil smiled. He wasn’t lying- the kids were pretty well-behaved today, but maybe that was in part because the sidewalks weren’t packed enough to stab someone, even with fake knives. “I did promise Tallulah that she could have a vanilla donut next time, so you’re going to have to deal with that.” 

Missa groaned, saying something in Spanish that Philza didn’t know. “-why do you this to me amado? I entrust you with our children for a few hours and this is what happens.”

Philza just smiled, biting back a laugh. “Suffer.” 

—-

Phil sighed softly, silently watching the take-out reheat in the microwave. He held a mug of tea he needed to reheat next. He had intended to drink it on time, but- the hours just kind of slipped past him. That’s how after work went for him most times.

There were no lights on in his kitchen; only the microwave light lit that part of the house. It felt like one of those movie scenes meant to humanize the rough-and-tough hero for the audience.

Phil laughed to himself over the idea of him being some hero in an action movie. Sure, he could fight, and stuff, but if he were the hero of some sort of corruption prevention movie, it would either be a really short, or really boring movie.

The microwave beeped.

He took out the takeout container, trading it out for his poor tea. He used to be a bit more prideful of his tea and how he made it, but by this point it just felt like wasted effort. He let his tea pets gather dust. 

The microwave hummed softly as he watched his tea mug slowly rotate.

He stirred his leftovers with a fork, mixing the warm areas and no doubt cold center so it wasn’t burning hot and freezing cold in different spots. It honestly didn’t look all that appealing to eat, but it was better than more ramen noodles.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, prompting him to take it out. It was a message from Tommy. 

He watched the image of a bird slowly load on his phone. He should really get a new one, just like how he should really get a haircut.  It was a nice bird.

It was captioned.

Toms: This fucker stole my lunch today

Phil laughed softly. 

Father: you probably deserved it

He didn’t wait for a reply, putting his phone on the counter, and taking his tea out of the now beeping microwave. The mug was hotter than the actual tea, no doubt. He carried it all out to his TV, which was already playing some strange game show Puffy recommended to him around five months ago.

He had to admit it was a bit entertaining at least. 

—-

“-so I look up, and there’s just two guys laughing , clearly high as shit.” Tubbo’s voice crackled over the speaker. “And they ask me ‘is it broken???’ as if they cannot see for themselves the shopping cart is smushed into a bent blob.”

Philza laughed softly, looking over the brands of cereal that would no doubt all go stale in his cabinet. “Yeah, sounds like college mate.” He decides on the cheapest so he doesn’t throw endless money out the window. “You having fun though? Even with maniacs shoving shopping carts out the window?”

“Mhm! Wilbur got me one of those uh…. uh- voice reader thingies? The things that read text for you.” Tubbo cleared his throat. “So I’ve been using that on my slideshows and textbooks and stuff.” 

“That’s good.” Phil smiled, pushing his cart farther down the aisle. A lady side-eyed him, maybe for being on the phone in the store, or maybe simply for existing, but he didn’t pay it any mind. “That’s great actually! Midterms are coming up right?”

“Just before spring break, yeah. Don’t remind me Dad.”

“Wilbur said Tommy was making some kind of nuclear reactor in your dorm.”

“Wha- That’s not what Tommy is making!” Tubbo sounded baffled.

Phil just laughed. “That’s what he told me!”

Tubbo’s voice got a bit farther away, no longer talking to the phone. “You told dad Tommy was making a nuclear reactor!?”

There was an even fainter reply. “That’s what he’s doing isn’t he!” 

“No! He’s making a model!” Tubbo’s voice returned to be directed to Phil. “He’s making a model Dad.”

“Got it.” Phil nodded. He pulled open the dairy fridges, taking some milk. He didn’t both looking at the percentage. “A model. That makes more sense.”

“No shit. We’re freshman undergrads, not insane people.”

“You say this as if you two wouldn’t make a mini-nuclear reactor if given the supplies.”

“That’s the difference. We would. Tommy wouldn’t be doing it by himself.” The matter-of-fact tone Tubbo had for that made Phil snort softly. He hummed softly in agreement.

“Well, if you two do make one, don’t get radiation poisoning or anything okay? Or poison Wilbur.” Phil put on his dad-voice for that, and Tubbo whined like he had just ruined all his plans of poisoning Wilbur and Tommy and himself with uranium. 

Phil huffed a laugh, heading to the produce section. He was out of lemon.

“How’s work?” Tubbo sounded more absent minded with his question. Philza exhaled.

“I don’t know Tubs.” He glanced at some melon, and it made some acid well in his throat for some reason. Okay, no melon then. “But it’s been good I think.” 

Tubbo made a noise of acknowledgement. “Still severed?”

“It’s not a thing I can reverse.” Phil answered candidly. He tried not to sound too offended. He knew his sons’ opinion on it, and he wasn’t one to make people change their minds.

Tubbo caught it anyways. “Sorry.”  

“It’s alright kiddo.” Phil took a breath to collect himself, shifting the phone to his shoulder to hold open the plastic bag and put the lemons in. “You making friends yeah?” 

“I’m trying my best.” 

“That’s all I can ask. You eating good?”

Tubbo huffed softly. “Are you going to ask me this everytime we call?” He didn’t wait for Phil to actually reply before he continued. “Yes Dad, we’re eating well. Vegetables and all that jazz.”

Phil chuckled softly, nodding though Tubbo couldn’t see it. He shifted his phone back to his hand, continuing down the section. He looked over the prepackaged food bowls. Maybe he should get some, since he probably needed some vitamins in his diet that he doesn't get from fast food and instant noodles. He wouldn’t have to actually do anything in order to eat them too.

“Are you eating well?” Tubbo flipped the question onto him, which he probably should of seen coming

“Yes?” Phil glanced at his pretty shitty shopping in the cart as he answered. 

….

Phil took the pineapple fruit bowl. “Yes I am.” 

Tubbo just laughed at him.

Chapter Text

The elevator dinged.

Technoblade blinked, stepping out of the elevator before his vision even settled. It was routine. The clock read 9:15, in the morning presumably, though he wasn’t sure. Maybe they worked the night shift- it’s not like there was any sky that indicated otherwise.

His scalp hurt a bit, the braids done a bit too tight, but he did try to change them. They were carefully done- his outie clearly took pride in them. They’d loosen up throughout the day anyways; an hour-long headache was livable. 

His arms also hurt, but that wasn’t really knew either. There was always little scratch marks, and cuts on his forearms and hands. He used to think it was something less than pleasant, but nowadays he realized it was most likely a cat or something. He said it was a cat because he liked the idea of a cat. He’s pretty sure he likes cats, or at least the idea of them. Their CEO had a cat too after all.

He was about to turn down the corridor towards his department, but instead came face to face with Mr. Lore. He blinked.

“...Good Morning Mr. Lore.” Technoblade took a step back so he was no longer as close to the brunette as before.

“Morning Technoblade A.” Mr. Lore chirped. “Do you mind if I borrow you for a bit before you go to you workstation?””

Technoblade was nodding before he even fully processed what he was agreeing to. It was wiser to kind of just agree. Only when they started walking did Technoblade fully process the ask. “Am I in trouble?”

“Oh not at all!” Mr. Lore silently led him though the halls of white walls. “Management just believed you should have a wellness session today.” Mr. Lore looked back to smile comfortingly. It wasn’t comforting. “It’s to help you feel a bit more refreshed, yes? I know losing Deo was rough on you…”

Technoblade just nodded. He didn’t bother with a verbal reply, he didn’t trust himself with one. And as the motto went ‘If you have nothing nice to say, then never speak’. It was a rather wise one in Technoblade’s opinion. All the company mottos were pretty wise overall.

Technoblade memorized the paths they took, though it wasn’t strictly necessary, or allowed. It was just… habit, one he didn’t really know the origins of, but he had it anyways. Two left turns, the one right turn, then straight down past two turns, then a left, then three right, and then two lefts and then they were at the wellness center.

Cool.

Mr. Lore sat him in one of the chairs, assuring his session was next, before promptly leaving him alone. Lovely.

Technoblade looked at the strange palm-like plant he was sat next to. It was definitely for a warmer climate the Technoblade deemed this place to be. He didn’t want to say it was exotic, that felt rude, but it was definitely something he'd see on shirts on that once a year Hawaii Day. 

He started pulling on the leaves out of just urge. Tearing off chunks and then folding those chunks and unfolding the chunks and tearing smaller chunks out of the chunks-

The door opened to the office opened, and he jumped, shoving the leaves into his pockets. Instead of anyone to worry about, it was just… someone from Optics and Design. Technobalde could tell from the green card lanyard they had around their neck.

He seemed surprised to see him there, just as Technobalde was surprised to see him come from the door.

Tehcnoblade tightened his grip on the  leaf chunks in his pockets. He would never be able to take his hands out of his pockets for the rest of the day.

“Uh- Hola?” The man waved, smiling a bit tensely. Technoblade swallowed.

“Hullo.” Technobalde returned the greeting as best he could.

“I’m- I’m just-” He pointed behind him towards the door, as if he was here for any other reason. He cleared his throat, seeming to realize it was a pointless explanation. “-I’m Missasinfonia. I’m from Optics and Design.”

Technoblade nodded. “Technoblade. Marcodata Refinement.”

Missasinfonia nodded, and just stood there for a moment. Technoblade didn’t say anything either, so it was just an odd, heavy silence. The leaves sat in Technoblade’s fists. 

Technoblade didn’t like the silence. “I- I liked the placement of that- the abstraction work. Of the logo.”

“Oh?”

“It- it fit in well at the entrance way.” Missasinfonia just nodded at that. He adjusted his tie.

“Well, we recently moved it over to the Perpetuity Wing. If you want to see it again.” Technoblade nodded back.

The silence returned, and so Missasinfonia moved farther away from the door. He sta down at another chair all the way on the other side of the alcove, no doubt waiting for Mr. Lore to go bring him back to his department.

Technoblade took the chance to empty his pockets of the leaf chunks, tossing them as efficiently as possible into the pot of the plant he stole from. His braid pulled as his scalp, done far too tight, but he didn’t react to it. It wouldn’t be fair to his outie. 

The door opened.

“Technoblade A.?” Technoblade stood preemptively when his name was called, straightening out his pants since they had a habit of riding up. Ms. Trixtin stared him down like he had done something wrong for a moment, before she smiled. “It’s your turn.” 

The Wellness Office was pretty nice in Technoblade’s opinion. The tree that sat in the middle of the room, whether it was real or fake, made everything feel nicer in the dark wood room, and the slight smell of incense that had already been put out still managed to be soothing.

He took a seat when he was directed to. She sat down too, across from him.

“Alright Technoblade.” Ms Trixtin’s  voice came out sweet. “Today, I’d like to share with you some facts about your outie, because your outie is an outstanding person, and I believe these facts will be pleasing to you.” She pulled a file out of a drawer from the small table between them, and simply held it in her hands. “Just relax, and try to enjoy each fact equally.”

Technoblade barely nodded before she was opening the file to read from. 

“Your outie regularly makes use of his gym membership.” 

“Your outie is quiet, and spends his time at the library.

“Your outie pays his electricity bill three days before it is due.” 

“Your outie goes to the grocery store on Wednesdays.” 

“Your outie is friend to animals, and spends many hours taking care of different species.”

Technoblade smiled at the last one, and Ms. Trixtin’s own smile fell away.

“I’m sorry.” She lowered the file in order to stare at him. Her brown eyes made his blood run colder, though he tried not to show it. “Please try not to enjoy one fact more than the others. 10 points have been deducted.”

“Points? There’s points?” He tried to ask. He did, really, try to ask. But Ms. Trixtin just started talking over him again, listing more facts, and he shut his mouth. 

Hopefully nothing would happen if he lost all his points.

—-

Technoblade got to his department at 11:07. Everyone else was already there, already working, but they stopped when he walked in.

“Technoblade! You’re back! How was wellness?” Philza spun around in his chair, smiling that nicer, more genuine smile he had sometimes. Of course he knew Technoblade had went. He was department head; he should be informed

“It was alright.” He just wanted to get back to his desk, so that’s what he did. He didn’t bother to get coffee today, not yet. His empty mug mocked his late arrival, just a bit. “I’m ready to get back to work.”

Philza laughed softly at him. It was a fond laugh. “Of course you are…” Technoblade could barely hear the mumble through the hollow cubicle wall, but he did hear it.

“Wellness?” Ranboo chirped. His voice was so much younger. He was so much younger. “What’s that?”

“It’s just a check that’s done, to make sure we’re all okay!” Niki started talking and immediately Technoblade tuned her out. It wasn’t because he didn’t like her. No, she was plenty nice, probably what people would call ‘the life of the office’. He just wanted to get to work is all.

The monitor slowly powered on, and Technoblade simply watched the Ovumlo logo come onto the screen, and the file he was on be selected from the ones they had. 

It was a pattern he was used to, and one he liked. 

The numbers were barely on the screen for him when Philza yanked down the divider between them, beaming as he broke Technoblade’s much wanted focus.

“Wellness isn’t anything bad, is it Techno?” He asked and Technoblade had to hold back the urge to yank the divider back up rudely. 

Ranboo’s divider was down too, so he could see the kid staring at him. Clearly Ranboo needed some type of encouragement and assurance here, and Technoblade was being assigned the one to give it.

Technoblade sighed internally, willing himself to spare another minute out of sympathy, or maybe pity. They were still adjusting after all.

“It’s nice.” It’s just very unfortunate his voice was naturally deadpan.

He could see Ranboo frown, clearly taking it more as sarcasm then honestly. It made Technoblade feel a bit bad, and he had to hold back a wince towards himself.

Philza still gave him a more strained smile for trying, and Technoblade decided to return to his screen instead of festering in his failures. Working was what he was best at, not socializing after all. It was what he was here for, to get money he did not get to spend himself.

Taken, his head hurt. 

—-

Technoblade calmly watched his Ovumlo brand raises fall from their place in the vending machine. He was grateful they didn’t get stuck like last time; they had to call Mr. Lore and then he had to get Mr. Noveschoch- it had become this whole thing, over just a carton of raisins.

He bent down the pull them from the flap at the bottom, and when he came back up, Ranboo B. was beside him.

“Hello.” Ranboo greeted, and it was painfully awkward from the get go. He was clearly still severely uncomfortable here, and it was exasperated by trying to talk to Technoblade.

Still, Technoblade returned in kind. “Hullo”

When Ranboo didn’t reply, Technoblade just went about opening his raisin carton, checking over the batch he had silently.

“How-” Ranboo started, then stopped. It was still enough to make Technoblade look up, and that seemed enough to get Ranboo to continue. “-How do I… do this?” They motioned to the vending machine.

“...you mean, how to use a vending machine?”

“Yes.”

Ranboo was slumped in on themself. He was still a ridiculously tall person, but he was clearly trying to sink into the floor at this moment. Technoblade couldn’t bare it.

“Get a token from the jar.” He pointed the the always almost empty jar on the counter, and Ranboo obeyed, taking one out like it was precious. Which, to a degree, it kind of was.

“Okay, now what?”

“See this slot here?” Technoblade pointed at the coin slot beside the numbers and letters on the machine, tapping it to make sure Ranboo saw it. Ranboo nodded. “Put it in there.”

Ranboo nodded again, stepping forward and putting the token in. The screen change with the fact a token was now in there, and food was ready to be selected. Ranboo picked at his nails, clearly awaiting their next instruction.

“Okay, now, which food do you want?” Technoblade motioned to the selection. He ate some rasins as Ranboo looked the options over. The raisins were pretty good today, probably recently restocked. “I don’t recommend the fava beans though.”

“Okay…” Ranboo didn’t question it, still silently looking over their options. “How- how about the cashews?” Technoblade’s eyebrows went up, mostly to acknowledge he heard.

“Good choice.” That’s what Technoblade had gotten yesterday actually. “See the letter and number that’s under it?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Just type the code in using the buttons on the keypad and press enter.”

Ranboo did exactly that, glancing between the keypad, the screen and the code listed for the cashews many times to make sure they got it right and didn’t end up with not what he wanted or managing to break the machine. When he finally pressed enter, they both watched the carton of nuts slowly be pushed forward and fall.

Ranboo grabbed it from under the flap. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Ranboo nodded and carefully undid the lid like it would explode somehow. He ate a single cashew, and something clicked in Technoblade’s brain.

“Wait- you didn’t know how to work this thing at all?”

“Nope.”

“How have you been eating?”

“I… I haven’t?”

“Bruhhhh.”

Chapter Text

“I… don’t understand.” Ranboo frowned, staring at the rejected resignation. The defeat and desperation on their face hurt. “Does he not understand I don’t want to be here!?”

Philza frowned, “It’s a collective decision Ranboo, I’m sorry.” He was trying to be reassuring, but it was not really a skill set of his. “If your outie wants to keep working, then you can’t just quit.”

Ranboo frowned even more, but it seemed more angry this time. “But I don’t want to be here! ” They crumbled the rejected form a bit, his grip creasing the paper

“Ranboo-” 

“Why do they get to make choices about my life!? I don’t want to be here, why does he get to make me stay?!” Ranboo stood, throwing the paper over Philza’s head, though he ducked to make sure he didn’t get cut. The teen stormed off into the bathroom before Philza could stop them, slamming the door to the stalls shut and locking it.

….He’d have to unlock that sooner rather than later, but he’d wait for Ranboo to cool down a bit first. 

“He’ll adjust.” Nihachu patted Philza on the shoulder, clearly having been listening in from the kitchenette. Her hair was down today, and gently curled. She had a suit on too- it made her look very professional, though the black tie was a bit awkward on the navy blue suit. “You had a rough time too.”

Philza just nodded with a sigh, rubbing his eyes. “I just don’t know how to help them…”

“Maybe you can’t.” Nihachu shrugged. “Ranboo just needs time Phil. He’ll be okay.”

Philza just nodded twice, standing from the chair. He shouldn’t let Ranboo’s adjustment get to him, they all had it rough when adjusting. It was part of the process. He smiled at Nihachu until she walked away, and then he let the smile fall.

Taken, he had no idea what to do… He shut his eyes, pulling his hair down from the small ponytail to run a hand through it before starting to put it back up again.

“You good Phil?” Technoblade’s voice came from behind him, and Philza jumped. He dropped the ribbon and cursed, having to bend down to pick it up.

“Is everyone in the kitchen today- I’m fine Techno.” He inhaled, and exhaled to soothe whatever snappy emotion had been building in his chest. He pulled his dropped hair back up, using the ribbon to tie it back in place with muscle memory he himself had not gained.

“You sure?” Technoblade rose an eyebrow. Philza couldn’t tell if this was concern or condescension.

“I’m sure.” Philza made sure to inhale again before he turned to grin at his taller co-worker. “Just… trying to work through some things with Ranboo.”

Technoblade hummed faintly in acknowledgement. His eyes went to the locked bathroom door, and he clicked his tongue.

“You seem to be doing a great job with that.”

“Thanks mate.”

Technoblade just stood there for a moment, glancing between Philza and the locked bathroom. He was thinking something through, squinting slowly as he came to some sort of conclusion.

“Maybe we should pay a visit to the perpetuity wing.” Philza blinked at the sudden announcement.

“What?”

“Well, Ranboo obviously needs to feel some purpose here, and the perpetuity wing is the perfect place for that, isn’t it?” Technoblade stared down at Philza. He wasn’t exactly wrong, unfortunately. That was what that area was made for- to give the workers and insight to their purpose.

It was a tid-bit boring, at least to Nihachu and him, but maybe it could work for Ranboo like it worked for Technoblade.

Philza nodded. “I’ll go ask management if we could take some recreation time.”

Technoblade didn’t really smile, but he seemed happier. He did like the perpetuity wing.

“You might want to unlock the bathroom first though Phil.”

“Ah- right.” 

—-

Technoblade led them through the halls. He had the way memorized, no doubt due to his company loyalty, and he didn’t need the map to get them there.

“Where are we going again?” Ranboo didn’t really look happier as they walked, their hands stuffed in his pockets like a teenage rebel.

“The perpetuity wing!” Technoblade cut in before Philza could even start. “It’s the wing that demonstrates all that Lumon is for, and all we do that helps the world!”

Nihachu rolled her eyes, pulling out a set of red crumpled paper. She marked something down, and passed one to both Philza and Ranboo.

‘Technoblade Perpetuity Bingo’ it read at the top. The middle was filled with a crude bingo board, all with quotes of things Technoblade commonly said when they went there.

Ranboo laughed at it, and pocketed it, but Philza tried to hand it back before Technoblade turned around. He didn’t succeed, since Nihachu did not seem to want to take it back at all, and was forced to pocket it before he turned around. Thankfully, Technoblade didn’t seem to notice, since he simply lifted an eyebrow and turned back to walking forwards.

Philza smiled at Ranboo, bringing everything back to the topic at hand. “I think it would be helpful to you- at least to make you feel better today, if not in your job Ranboo.” Ranboo’s own smile faded into a frown until Nihachu elbowed him.

She said something to them that Philza wasn’t meant to hear, but of course he heard because they were not even two feet away from each other.

“Just pretend to like it Ran- Phil risked his ass to get this trip scheduled last minute for you.” She hissed, but not unkindly. Philza pretended he had not heard. 

He hadn’t exactly risked anything, Nihachu was making him into a martyr that he wasn’t. Sure, he risked trouble for not exactly following the assigned paper trail for this, but he didn’t get in trouble! Everything was fine.

Everything was fine.

The start of the perpetuity wing was obvious, with its sudden gray and black onyx and slanted entrance and garnet red accents. It stood it out so much against the white walls that it was glaringly obvious. Ranboo frowned at the sight, slowing their steps. 

Everyone kept going without him though, so Philza grabbed their wrist so he wasn’t left behind. 

Everyone had stopped in front of the statue of their founder. Technoblade beamed at it, just slightly. He turned to Ranboo once Philza got them caught up to the other two.

“This is our great founder, Billiam.” Technoblade motioned. He was clearly intent and excited to introduce everything here to Ranboo, and Philza was more than willing to let him. It was better than him trying to explain everything, he wasn’t as passionate as he should be.

As Technoblade spoke of their founder and his great works, Philza studied his outfit. 

It was the same suit and tie as a few days ago, the maroon looking much better at a distance then up close. His braids were nicely done, and long today, and had beaded strings mixed in with them that reminded Philza of a faint memory of flowers. It was a bit girlish on someone as buff as Technoblade, but it looked nice. He liked it, he really did.

When Technoblade finished introducing the basics and allowed them to actually split up slightly, Philza took Ranboo by the hand. “Here, this area is my favorite.”

He didn’t let Ranboo even protest, pulling him into the hallways adored with screens of smiles. Ranboo made a face, which was understandable. It was a bit weird out of context.

“They’re all smiles of real people Ovumlo has helped over the years!” Phil stepped a bit further into the room, observing the slow transition from one smile to the next that wasn’t all that smooth. “They change them out every few weeks.”

“Awh did they get rid of the person with the mole?” Nihachu popped in from the otherside of the hall, which wasn’t really all that far down. “They were my favorite.”

Ranboo’s face did not change at all with the new context. If anything, they were looking at the art piece even weirder. “That’s… kind of creepy.”

“...I guess.” Philza frowned. It wasn’t supposed to be creepy, it was meant to be encouraging. “But it’s meant to be sweet! We help all these people everyday!”

Ranboo just stepped out of the room with a frown, and Philza sighed, going to follow.

The room of Company Leaders was next, which was Technoblade’s favorite. He kept himself controlled, as he always did, but Philza could see excitement bubbling under the surface in the man. It was the most emotive he ever got honestly, and Philza thought it was sweet. 

The entrance was downwards, a staircase that curled down and without walls so you could get a look in early. Philza could see Ranboo’s eyebrows scrunch up at the sight of the wax figures, but he tried to not pay it much mind. 

When they reached the bottom, Ranboo lagged behind again. Philza took their wrist, pulling him forward by just a few steps.

“Why don’t you look around a bit on your own?” Philza let go, smiling and pretending not to notice Ranboo’s lack of one. “Maybe you can play some of the bingo too…?”

That did make Ranboo’s lip twitch up, so Philza took it as the win it is. If something made Ranboo enjoy his time here, even at the expense of the founders, then it was a good thing. He let go, though he waited for Ranboo to continue forward on their own before sauntering off himself.

Nothing was really new here at the moment, there wouldn’t be anything new until their present CEO retired sometime in the long awaited future. 

The figures played their audio cues as Philza passed them by. 

He walked up to Technoblade, who of course, was listening through an entire speech from one of the older CEOs.

“You having fun?” Philza didn’t look at Technoblade when he asked. He got a faint grunt in return, which was expected. The taller man was pretty focused in, and he wasn’t expressive anyways. He was never expressive, and that’s fine! That’s perfectly fine.

Philza kept talking even though he wasn’t likely to get a response.

“I think Ranboo is starting to warm up a bit.” Technoblade just grunted again. “I mean, they find it a bit creepy- but he hasn’t gotten upset or angry yet.”

“Creepy?” Technoblade asked, looking down from the robot to Philza. Philza looked at him too.

“Yeah, just a bit…. But it’s better then out right hating it!” 

Technoblade frowned, sort of. He kind of always looked like he was frowning, Philza realized. But this did look more frown-like than usual.

“I guess…” The taller man mumbled. He went back to looking at the statue, and Philza joined him despite how awkward things felt. They were friends. They were friends! Technoblade just wasn’t good at expressing it. He wasn’t very good at expressing anything.

Eventually, the Hall would get dull. As nice as it was to learn about the past, and present CEOs, it could get a bit repetitive to hear the same speeches over and over as they each spent a stretch of time at each one of them. When that happened, Philza declared it time to head to the last feature of the wing. 

“...a replica of his house?” Ranboo made a face at the sight of it, and the sight of the fake grass and plastic trees. He seemed thoroughly disturbed by it.

Philza nodded, “Yup! Almost entirely accurate! Pardoning the velvet ropes…” Ranboo did not seem assured, but they followed them into the deep red house nonetheless. 

It was fancy. Not overly ornate; of course not, the founder was a humble man after all. But he still showed his wealth. Ranboo just mostly idly followed Philza, and he tried his best to be informative, though Technoblade, or hell, even Nihachu would probably do better. Maybe he should get back into reading the handybooks. It might do him some actual good.

Everyone sort of regrouped in the bedroom. It was the go-to final destination of the tour, and Philza dropped Ranboo off with an already rambling Technoblade in order to stare out the window instead. 

There wasn’t much to see except gray-ish walls and plastic grass and the path that led back to the rest of the exhibits but it was a less strain in the eyes compared to the consistent red of the house. 

And maybe, selfishly, Philza could pretend, just a bit, that he was outside of here.

It was a silly thought. A silly fantasy, if he could even award it that status. There was nothing for him outside of here. In here was where everything he had was.

“Phil?” Technoblade’s voice cut through all of Philza's thoughts like a spear through water. “Are you about to sit on the founder’s bed?”

Immediately Philza straightened up. He hadn’t even realized he had been leaning back. “No! No, I- no.” His head shakes didn’t seem to convince Technoblade at all.

“You can’t sit on the founder’s bed!” Technoblade stepped forward to block Philza’s ability to get near the bed, not that Philza intended to try and sit on it at all, or again for that matter. Philza smiled.

“I know! I know, I didn’t mean to.” Phiza raised his hands in surrender, and Technoblade relented from being extremely angry. He crossed his arms while Philza just stood there until his eyes darted down.

To where the home-made bingo paper poked out of Philza’s suit pocket.

“What’s this?” Technoblade snatched it out of Philza’s own pocket before Philza could do anything. And immediately he was back to being mad. Great, great, this is going wonderfully. “A bingo card? Really!? This place is meant to be serious- meaningful! Did you give Ranboo one of these as well!?”

“Wha- no- I didn’t-” Philza shook his head, waving his hands like that would help at all. He truly didn’t give Ranboo one. That was Nichachu, who was notably not helping Philza at all with this.

“We’re trying to make him feel like he belongs here! Not- make it some kind of joke!”

Philza cleared his throat, “Well- doesn’t Billiam say to ‘Keep a merry humor ever in your heart’- or something like that?

“You don’t even know what quote you’re quoting!” Technoblade threw his hands in the air, and then rubbed his face. “You’re setting a horrible example to Ranboo, I don’t even understand how you found that to be a good idea-”

Ranboo was gone. Suddenly Philza realized Ranboo was no longer in the room at all. They had been by Nichachu just a moment ago, but now they weren’t.

“Ranboo?” Philza pushed around Technoblade, who let him pass in favor of realizing Ranboo had left. Nichachu looked Ranboo last was beside her, as if Philza wouldn’t have look there first.

“Ranboo!”

Chapter Text

Ranboo did not know when or how he learned to run in a suit, but they knew how to do it. His lungs ached though, and their legs burned, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. They need to get out of there, they need to get to the stairwell. 

The elevator had code sensors, but the stairwell exit shouldn’t. It shouldn’t, right?

It didn’t matter, Ranboo was already running, note in hand that hopefully made it clear to his outie that he did not want to be here. He did not want to be here.

Right turn, left turn, straight- wait no, left turn again. God everywhere looked the same here in this hell.

“Ranboo!”

Philza was behind him. He also apparently knew how to run in a suit, but that didn’t matter, it didn’t matter. Ranboo just needed to run a tid-bit faster than him, or at least the same pace. Then there would be distance between them and Ranboo can get the fuck out of here.

“Ranboo! Please!”

Ranboo ignored him. They weren’t going to be swayed by the desperation in his voice, or the way it shook. They needed to get out of here, they need it

He nearly slammed into a wall, but instead pushed off it to follow the turns of the hallways.

left turn, right, straight, left again- wait, no straight still

It felt like a rat maze or whatever. 

right turn, straight through two intersections, left, left, right again

Ranboo wasn’t even sure where he knew that metaphor from.

Finally the exit sign came into view like a holy sign from above, the red glowing like an eternal flame, and its tiny arrow pointing right towards the stairs like a great and benevolent leader. It nearly made them sag in relief.

Bouncing off the final right turn, the door was like a messiah on the other end of the hall. Ranboo ran at it, slamming into the push bar along the middle and-

it didn’t open. 

The door didn’t open. It was locked. The door was fucking locked.

“No- No!” Ranboo slammed his body into the unmoving door. “No, please!-” The stairs, the way up that he could see through the window just teased them by being unavailable and out of reach and-

The window. It’s a window. Windows are breakable.

Ranboo stepped back, searching the blank floors and wall for something. Something they could pull off, or take and use to break that stupid window. 

The fire extinguisher sat plainly in its little, red-outlined hole in the wall, like it wanted to be the solution to their problem.

“Fuck it.” Ranboo sprinted over, ripping the poor thing from it’s hidey-hole. It wasn’t light, but it wasn’t really heavy either. He just opened the metal was solid enough to work.

He slammed the container against the window, and suddenly the hallways were bathed in red. Maybe there were sirens too, it would be fitting, but Ranboo didn’t pay it any mind. They focused solely on the small crack in the glass the extinguisher had made.

He slammed it in, again, and again, and again. The fractures kept growing, kept spreading like a spider web on the two layer glass that was far too strong for an office building exit. The frist layer shattered, the second layer shattered, and the hallway was still red.

People were coming. He knew people were coming. Even if Philza was farther behind then Ranboo thought, Mr. Lore, or whoever the fuck was above him would be on his ass sooner rather then later, so Ranboo changed plans.

He just needed his head out, right? That’s the part of his body that has the chip, not anything else.

So Ranboo grabbed the note that he had shoved in his pocket, the half-done bingo card Nichachu gave them folded over into a blank side so Ranboo was able to write never come back here firmly in marker earlier. 

He shoved his hand through the broken glass, holding it in front of them before trying to get their head through.

The glass cut at their arm, and the footsteps were in the hall and he was so close.

So close, so close- just another inch, just another inch, it had to be just another-

Someone grabbed his shoulders, and yanked him back. The glass cut further, they’re pretty sure some shards are stuck in there. Mr. Lore holds him there, and he’s saying something and the red lights turn off, and then he’s guiding Ranboo away. Ranboo lets him.

Philza is at the corner of the hall, by where the fire extinguisher’s cubby was. He opens his mouth to say something as they pass, but nothing comes out. Ranboo doesn’t try to say anything back.

He ignores the look in Philza’s eyes. They pretend it’s unreadable. 

Recognizing it as fear wouldn’t do any of them any good.

—-

Maybe Ranboo was wrong to assume, but when he was led to a break room, they had pictured the inside to be a cozy area to, well, take breaks in. Not a long, dark hallway that barely fit one person, and a closet-sized room that was equally dark. If not more dark. 

Mr. Lore sighed softly as he wrapped up Ranboo’s steadily bleeding arm. He sounded like a disappointed parent. “I’m truly sorry to see you here Ranboo…”

Ranboo bit back a scoff, and simply settled on glaring.

“I had hoped you would have adjusted Ranboo….” Mr. Lore taped the gauze, or whatever, over, making sure it didn’t just slip off the teen’s arm. “I know how hard Philza has been trying to make you happy here.”

Ranboo didn’t reply.

Mr. Lore sighed again, and directed Ranboo to a seat, and took his own across the table, a glass pane between them. He turned some things on, and put on a pair of headphones.

“Put your hands on the pads please.” Mr. Lore ordered, motioning to the lit up, hand shaped indents on the table. Ranboo put his hands there because what else were they going to do? Say no and just sit there awkwardly

Mr. Lore turned on a recording device, letting it whirr before taking a microphone and speaking into it. “I’m bringing up the compunction statement for Ranboo B.” He put it back down.

Then he flicked on a light that went right into Ranboo’s eyes, bright enough to make him squint and flinch. It took a few blinks to realize that it lit up the words engraved on the glass, making them readable. 

“Read it.” Mr. Lore’s voice had no emotion.

Ranboo frowned, “No.” He shook their head. “I- I don’t want to-”

“No.” Mr. Lore wasn’t smiling. It was weird. “Do.”

Ranboo scoffed within a breath. He didn’t want to, they didn’t. But what else was he going to do? They couldn’t just sit there forever. Well, they could, but it wouldn't really do anything. Not really.

So, they read.

“...Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world. None may atone for my actions but me, and only in me shall their stain live on… I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with wizened hands. I am sorry and that is all I am…” Ranboo made a face. They knew they did. “What the fuck…?” He chuckled nervously, but Mr. Lore’s face did not change. 

He glanced briefly at the paper being printed out beside him that just kept printing, before looking back at Ranboo. “You didn’t mean it. Again.”

“What?”

“ Again. ” 

“Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world. None may atone for my actions but me… and only in me shall their stain live on. I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. I am sorry and that is all I am…”

“You didn’t mean it. Again.”

“Forgive me for.… the harm I’ve caused this world. None may atone for my actions but me and only in me shall their stain live on. I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. I am sorry and that is all I am.”

“Again.”

“Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world. None may atone for my actions but me and only in me shall their stain live on. I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. I am sorry and that is all I am….”

“ Again.” 

“Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world. None may atone for my actions but me and only in me shall their stain live on. I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. I am sorry and that is all I am.”

“ Again”

“Forgive me for  the harm I’ve caused this world. 

None may atone for my actions but me and only in me shall their stain live on.

 I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. 

I am sorry and that is all I am.”

“ Again .”

“Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world. 

None may atone for my actions but me and only in me shall their stain live on.

 I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. 

I am sorry and that is all I am.”

Again.

“Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world.

None may atone for my actions but me and only in me shall their stain live on.

 I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. 

I am sorry and that is all I am.”

Again. 

“Forgive me for the harm I’ve caused this world.

None may atone for my actions but me and only in me shall their stain live on.

I am thankful to have been caught, my fall cut short by those with sizened hands. 

I am sorry 

and that is all I am. ”

—-

Ranboo returned to his workstation at 11:54 the next day.

Everyone stared at them as they walked in., but no one said anything.

Philza stood up from his chair, smiling but it didn’t feel right. “Hey…” He reached out, but then stopped short and pulled his hand back. He sighed, biting the inside of his cheek for a moment as he tried to come up with words. “How many times?”

“Huh?” Ranboo blinked. His arm ached, though the cuts there had been properly fixed up by their outie.

“How many times did you have to repeat it?”

“Oh.” Ranboo cleared his throat. They could feel everyone’s eyes on him. “It- i don’t know.” Philza just nodded sympathetically, but he didn’t say more about that. He simply moved out of the way, letting Ranboo get to his desk.

The silence was fucking awkward. No one wanted to say anything, but sitting in silence just seemed to make the issue fester like a rotten wound. Ranboo grit his teeth at it, and powered on his computer to pull up whatever file he was supposed to work on.

He was starting to get the ’numbers make you feel things’ thing. They got the feeling a majority of the time now. A gut sensation that thing set of numbers needs to go to that singular category. Ranboo started clicking away simply because he didn’t want to bother with anything else, and it would be a distraction from the silence.

All there was was faint clicking. The numbers felt like they were teasing them.

After a moment, Ranboo rolled himself away from their desk, inhaling, and exhaling deeply for the sake of the bitter rage in his chest. Everyone except Technoblade looked at them when he stood up.

“I- I’m going to get some food.” Ranboo walked away before anyone could stop him, not that any of them did. He heard Nichachu say something as he walked away but they didn't care. They didn’t care about any of this. 

He passed the printer station, blank papers they never fucking used because all their work was on the computer sat around the copier machine and paper guillotine. It was so stupid, why have a constantly sharpened paper cutter if they never even bothered to use it-

The paper guillotine was sharp.

Ranboo stopped, taking a few steps back because he had passed it by that point. He stared at the cutter, the sticker pressed on the edge telling everyone not to put their fingers between the blade and edge lest they want them cut off.

It wasn’t a large paper guillotine, it was carriable. Ranboo could probably hold it to their chest and walk with it easily. 

Ranboo picked the thing up, holding it against them. He held the handle up with one hand, and held it to him with a hand that would be right in the way of the blade.

“Ranboo?” Nichachu stood up, her chair rolling backwards. “Ranboo, what are you doing- put that down.” Ranboo did not put it down.

“Ranboo-” Technoblade stood too, and Ranboo turned around to face them. Physically, Technoblade could probably stop Ranboo, but he wouldn’t try it. He wouldn’t risk it. Philza looked the slightest bit pale, but Ranboo didn’t acknowledge him, or Nichachu. Instead they kept the focus on who had spoken to him last.

“You know how to get to the main office right?” Ranboo pressed. Technoblade frowned, looking extremely uncomfortable, but Ranboo couldn’t bring it in him to care. “ Right? ”

“Yeah- yeah, I- Ranboo, look, put that down-”

“Take me there. Right now. Or I’m cutting my fingers off.”