Chapter Text
Light is gifted. Has been told this all his life, that he is not like other children. For as long as Light can remember, he's always been placed on a pedestal. Been practically groomed for excelling at everything put in front of him ever since he could walk and talk. There were the piano lessons at six, that Light quickly grew bored of when his teachers no longer had anything new to teach him. Next were the tennis lessons at ten, which he quite enjoyed, but again lost interest when there were no worthy opponents. He began taking college level courses at twelve, just for fun. But even that couldn't hold his interest for very long. It was all just too easy. There was nothing Light wasn't good at.
But Light was also incredibly bored. As a sophomore, he already earned a reputation for his brilliant mind and perfect grades. He was the quarterback. An easy nomination for valedictorian when his senior year eventually rolled around. He was admired by many— to say he was popular was an understatement. But high school, for all its trivialities, was just a necessary step for something much bigger.
He was good at everything, except…
While most kids his age were starting to date, Light had very little interest in the matter. Even when girls of all grades would ask him on a date, he would always smile at them and let them down easily. Dating just wasn't a very interesting hobby for Light.
His charm and easy attitude however, were a mask he wore in public. He was agreeable, personable, and polite to everyone he spoke to. But every once in a while, the facade would begin to show its cracks. And no more so when at the start of sophomore year when there were whispers about a new transfer student.
L.
Just a letter.
Light has been told that L is an enigmatic senior who transferred at the start of the year. No one really knew much about him. He was odd, always hunched over, with disheveled hair, and dark circles under his eyes as if he never slept. His strangeness made him an outcast— an easy target.
Light had yet to see this so-called mysterious L, their social circles didn't seem to align, although Light had tried seeking him out casually. There was something alluring about the kid everyone was whispering about. And that's when Light sees him— L, standing by the door of the classroom, leaning against the frame and watching the students pass by. He looks directly at Light as he passes with his friends, his piercing grey eyes locking with Light's for just a moment.
It's enough to make Light's heart skip a beat for the slightest moment. As he passes L, he turns his head, L’s eyes tracking him down the hallway. Light is only pulled away from L's orbit when his friend slings his arm around his shoulder as they turn the corner.
He can't shake the feeling that L can see right through him— right through his carefully constructed persona.
Ever since that brief moment, after class every day, Light finds himself walking slowly, hoping— no, anticipating, another encounter with L. They've never spoken to each other. Haven't shared more than a brief look, so why does Light's heart beat a little louder in his chest whenever he thinks L might be around. He glances around, afraid others can hear his heart as loudly as he can.
But each time he's looked, he never seems to be able to catch him again. So instead, he easily sweet talks the office receptionist into telling him which locker is L’s. He tells himself it's just because he wants to get another good look at who everyone is calling a weirdo. Has nothing to do with the way his pulse quickens as each student with dark hair passes by.
And then there he is. Light catches a glimpse of him again, making his way through the sea of students, scanning them as if they were pieces of a puzzle he’s trying to solve. And there it is again, for a split second, that same spark as L’s eyes catch his. A flicker of something unspoken passes between them.
“Light Yagami,” L says. “You're in my way.”
Light raises an eyebrow, but curls his lips into a confident smile. “I wasn't aware I was a roadblock.”
L tilts his head, studying him for a moment before speaking. “You're not, but you're always so present. Always there. Looking. It's distracting.” The comment sends a flush straight to Light's cheeks. Shit. He hasn't been as careful as he thought he was being.
“I suppose it's hard not to notice someone as… interesting as you,” Light replies, trying to keep his voice even. “I've never met anyone like you.”
There is a brief silence as L studies him. “Is that what you want, Light? To meet someone like me?”
Light's heart races and he can't help the flush of heat that races up his neck. “That's not- I didn't mean it like that,” he tries to recover. “I just mean, I've heard things about you.”
“Hardly anything good I imagine,” L surmises. “Oh, I've heard all the whispers too,” L continues when Light opens his mouth to protest.
“They say you're gay,” Light blurts out without meaning to. There it was, that slow slip of the mask, before Light recovers.”And somewhat of a genius.”
L looks like he's pondering this thought for a moment. “Is that of particular interest to you, Light Yagami? Being gay?”
Before Light can respond, L is slammed into the lockers as the football team walks by laughing. L winces, rubbing his shoulder.
“You coming, Yagami?” One of them calls over his shoulder.
“I'm not like them,” Light says, edging away from L’s locker.
“No, you're more like me than you realize,” L muses.
“I am nothing like you,” Light responds, finding it difficult to keep that panic out of his voice. He takes off down the hallway after his friends, only glancing over his shoulder when he thinks L is no longer watching.
“I heard he's a genius!” Misa says, eyes glittering. “They said during summer he helped the police solve a murder! That’s so cool,” she says, unable to keep the awe out of her voice. It's been several days since Light's encounter with L at the lockers. He's absently pushing food around his tray, trying to listen to his friends, but his thoughts have been all over the place. Typically, he's able to compartmentalize everything. Lock certain things in boxes that he never opens, but what L had said has gotten under his skin.
He is nothing like L. That kid is a freak.
“You coming, Light?” Misa asks, practically swooning over him.
“Hm? Oh, no I’ll catch up.” He watches his so-called friends walk away, one of them slamming into L as he walks by carrying his tray. L hardly even flinches this time. He makes his way over where Light sits alone at the table and sets his tray down— a single piece of cake on the plate.
“I’ve been observing you,” L says.
Light raises an eyebrow, alarm bells quietly sounding in his head. “Observing me how?” Light feels a jolt of unease, but quickly masks it with a neutral expression.
“Light Yagami, top of his class. Perfect grades. You're smart. Very smart.”
Light smiles, his perfect facade of a smile, and laughs, although it doesn't reach his eyes. “Oh, that.”
L climbs onto the chair, sitting with his legs pressed against his chest. It's an alarming posture and Light glances around to see if anyone is watching them.
“Light, are you lonely too?” The question catches him off guard and the mask slips completely. L is staring at him, eyes wide, dark circles prominent.
“What makes you think I'm lonely? I have plenty of friends.”
L stabs his piece of cake with a fork and brings it to his mouth, but does not take a bite. “It can be lonely at the top.”
Light's heart stops beating for a fraction of a millisecond. How…? How could someone who has only seen him from a distance, who he has only spoken to for less than 5 minutes before this, seen right through him.
“This freak bothering you, Yagami?” Mikami says, towering over behind L.
“No,” Light says, shoving away from the table and grabbing his tray. “He just wanted the table.” He can feel eyes tracking him across the cafeteria as he ditches his tray. It takes everything inside himself not to turn around.
Light is not expecting to encounter L at a party a few weeks later. No one seems to recall ever having invited him, but there he was, standing off to the side, a cup in one hand and his phone in the other. Light watches his thumb flicking over the screen, scrolling through something. He hasn't been listening to whatever Misa is saying, not since he spotted the moody teenager in the corner of the room.
It would be social suicide to walk over there and strike up a conversation. Yet somehow his feet move on their own accord. What L had said— it's been bothering him for weeks. He's finding it harder to concentrate in class, he's unable to focus on homework, instead he spends his evenings creeping on L's social media profile. It's pretty bare, rarely a photo of L himself and more just photos of things. A cloud. A crack in the sidewalk. A stray cat. When Light does find a rare selfie buried amongst the photos, he spends countless hours staring at L. His eyes hollow and haunted from what looks like years of insomnia. His expression is often neutral, but sometimes he can see the slight upturn of not-quite-a-smile as he stares into the camera.
“Didn't expect to see you at a party,” Light says casually, pouring himself another drink that he'll pretend to sip all night.
“Didn't expect to find you here either. What are you, fifteen?”
Light's eyes narrow slightly. “Sixteen, actually.”
“Still not the legal drinking age,” L says, plucking the cup from his hand, further igniting Light's annoyance.
“As if you're twenty-one,” Light says, reaching for his cup, which L holds out of his grasp. “Why are you so annoying?”
“Do you actually drink this?” He lowers his hand for Light to grab the cup.
“Of course I do. Why would I have this cup if I didn't,” but L doesn't seem to be buying the obvious lie.
“Go ahead then,” L says, clearly amused.
“What?”
“Drink. Let's see you drink that.”
Light hesitates, but only for a moment. If he doesn't drink it, L is going to know he's lying. But he is lying, because he doesn't drink. He tried it once, and only once, because he didn't like the way it made him feel. Like he was no longer in control. L is staring at him with amusement and Light hates that.
Light grips the cup tightly and downs the concoction is one fluid motion. He resists the urge to start coughing because it burns going down. That amused look doesn't leave L’s eyes as he hands him another cup. “Another.”
Light snatches the cup from his hand. “If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to get me drunk. Are you trying to get me drunk, L?” He tips the contents of the second drink back and involuntarily shudders.
“It wouldn't take very long would it, Light. Who are you trying to impress?”
“No one,” Light snorts bitterly.
L holds out a third drink and Light recoils slightly. The room is already starting to look fuzzy around the edges. “If you're not careful, someone's going to take advantage of you.”
When Light speaks, his words have a slight slur to them. “Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you?” He doesn't know why he says it. Is alamered that he has because typically he can keep his inside thoughts, well, inside.
Instead of responding, L slides his hand onto the small of Light's back. “Alright there, you're drunk already.”
“I'm not,” Light counters. But he is. He totally is. He allows himself to be led away by L, up the stairwell past the bodies of mingling students. No one pays them any mind, lost in their own worlds. L leads Light to the bathroom, finding it graciously empty. As soon as they pass through the door, L locks it behind them.
“You need to sober up,” L says while rummaging around the medicine cabinet.
“You are so hot,” Light says. “In a weird emo kind of way.”
L freezes with his hand on a bottle of mouthwash before he turns and looks at Light. There's a high flush in Light’s cheeks, his eyes a little glossy. He has one hand on L’s arm as he states up at him from his place sitting on the closed toilet seat.
“Thank… you,” L says, snapping the medicine cabinet shut.
“You should kiss me,” Light slurs.
“No.”
“No?” Light frowns.
“Light, I’m not going to kiss you while you're drunk.”
“But you'll kiss me while I'm not drunk?” Light presses, smirking slightly.
“I- That's not what I meant and you know that.”
Light tugs gently on his sleeve. “L, kiss me,” he asks again. Light can see something flicker across L’s eyes and he smirks.
L sighs quietly. “If it will make you stop asking, I'll do it once.”
Victory.
L leans down and presses a chaste kiss to Light's lips. But Light is fast, faster than L would think given Light's inebriation. Light wraps his hand around the back of L’s neck and pulls him closer, deepening the kiss. L groans into Light's mouth and Light uses this to his advantage to slip his tongue in between his lips. He strokes L’s tongue, tasting the shitty alcohol mixed with what could only be described as pure sugar. Light moans, grabbing the front of L’s shirt with his free hand, the other moving from his neck to L’s cheek to hold himself steady.
Light's hand slips lower, under the fabric of L’s shirt causing L to shiver as his fingers ghost over his skin. L knows he should pull away, but instead finds one of his hands entangled in Light's brown locks while the other rests on his shoulder.
They break apart suddenly, L stumbling into the wall behind him as someone knocks loudly on the door. “Hey I really have to pee! Are you almost done?”
L swallows thickly and heads for the door, yanking it open and breezes by the girl standing outside. “Oh hey, Light!” She chirps cheerfully. Light stands on shaky legs and follows after L.
He can still taste L long after he's gone.
Chapter Text
Light doesn't show up for class on Monday. And he's still missing by Wednesday. Someone says he's sick— the flu has been going around. It's not until Thursday that L sees him crossing the field to where he sits underneath a tree, notebook open in his lap. He watches Light make confident strides over to him, notices they become more hesitant the closer he gets. He's wearing his letterman jacket, making him easy to spot amongst everyone else.
L leans back casually, planting his hands behind him in the grass. His gaze lifts when Light stands in front of him and L cocks his head slightly.
“I'm not gay.”
“Who is saying you are?” L queries back.
“You took advantage of me,” Light starts.
“As I recall, you're the one who asked me to kiss you,” L presses. “You were quite persistent about it too.”
“I was drunk!” Light hisses, the calm confident facade slipping ever so slightly. “I could not have consented to it.”
“Would you like to do it again, sober this time?” There's a glint in L’s eyes, a coy smile turning up the corners of his lips.
“Jesus, no! I told you, I'm not gay..”
“You don't have to be gay to want to kiss me again,” L responds, snapping his notebook shut.
“You're impossible,” Light groans in frustration. “Just, don't tell anyone about what happened.”
“Oops,” L says, causing Light's eyes to widen in panic. L chuckles quietly, covering his mouth with the back of his hand. “Relax, Light Yagami. I have no intention of telling anyone anything.” He pushes himself up from the grass. “But if you ever want to explore not being gay, come find me.”
He saunters off across the field, leaving Light standing there with his mouth slightly open in disbelief. Who the hell did L think he was? Who the hell was he to get under Light’s skin so easily. He watches him go, watching as the sunlight hits his pale skin making him look almost ethereal.
There was no way in hell he was going to be taking L up on that offer.
Which is why it's weird during third period he finds his body crammed tightly against L’s in the boys bathroom stall. His hands are entangled in L’s unruly hair while L’s hands rests on his hips. It's uncomfortably cramped in the tight space making it easy for L to grind his hips against Light's, causing the younger boy to moan.
“Sssh,” L warns him, placing heated kisses along his jawline. “Someone might hear you.” This only causes Light to moan louder as L bites down on his collarbone, sucking a bruise into his skin that will be well hidden from others.
Light brings his hand to his mouth, bites down on his knuckle to stop himself from crying out. The friction of L’s body against his own is dizzying. He can feel the bulge from L’s jeans pressing into him and whenever he grinds against Light's crotch he cries out.
“Do you want to suck me off?” L whispers in his ear. Those simple words do something to Light. Rearranges his brain chemistry. Does he want to do that? His breathing quickens and he pulls back slightly to stare into L’s blown pupils.
“I've never…” He trails off.
“That's okay, I can show you.”
He pushes on Light's shoulders, guiding him to his knees. It's an awkward position to manoeuvre into, but L straddles the toilet while Light reaches up with shaky, inexperienced hands, undoing L’s jeans so he can pull his hard cock out. The first thought that goes through Light's mind is that porn really hasn't disappointed his expectations. L’s dick is thick, about average size, and it feels slightly heavy in his hands.
The second thought he has is how embarrassed he's going to feel if he finds the one thing he's not actually good at. L stares down at him, carding his fingers slowly through Light's hair. “Just put it in your mouth,” L says a little breathlessly.
If he could paint a picture of this moment, he would. Light's hair mussed from L’s hand, his letterman jacket hanging off his shoulder, L’s hickey's standing out prominently on his collarbone.
“Shut up,” Light says and begins to slowly stroke him. L's head tips back slightly, his eyes falling shut as he gently rocks his hips in time with Light's exploratory hand. L bites his lip, groaning as Light's hand hesitantly works over him. It's clear Light has absolutely no experience with this sort of thing, and that shouldn't turn L on as much as it does.
“Just open your mouth,” L murmurs in the quiet bathroom.
“I said shut up,” Light bites back, cheeks flushed, but does what he's told and opens his mouth, sliding his tongue out.
L grips the base of his cock and guides it to Light's awaiting mouth, smacking it softly against Light's tongue much to Light’s annoyance. Light glowers up at him, but says nothing as L slowly pushes past his lips into the warm and eager mouth.
As Light's lips close around his hard-on, L lets out a hiss, grabs the top of the stall with one hand while he keeps the other in Light's hair. “That's good. You're doing good.”
Light rolls his eyes at the praise and starts to slowly bob his head. It's not a good blow job by any standards, but L thinks it's never felt so good watching his cock disappear into Light's mouth. It takes every ounce of his very being not to thrust into the wet heat, knowing it would just scare Light off.
Instead he grips the stall tighter, his knuckles turning whiter until he can no longer take the agonizingly slow drag of Light's tongue along his dick. His hand tightens in Light's hair, holding him in place as he begins to thrust his hips.
As predicted, Light's hazy eyes fly open and he looks up at L. “Sorry,” L groans. “We don't really have a lot of time left.” His hips thrust wantonly, shoving his cock deep into Light's throat causing him to gag. L bites down hard on his bottom lip at the sight and eases up his grip, finally letting Light pull off of him. He gasps for air with L’s Salvia coated cock hanging in front of him.
“Y-you bastard!” Light coughs, glaring up at L.
“Sorry,” L says again, even though he clearly is not sorry at all. He brings his hand down and presses his thumb against Light's bottom lip. Still glaring at him, Light parts his lips allowing L to press inside and carefully push down on Light's bottom teeth. He guides his cock back into Light's mouth and begins rocking, albeit at a much gentler pace.
He tries. He really tries to let Light take his time, but there's no way L was going back to class with a raging hard-on and they were quickly running out of time. “Light, you're going to have to go faster.”
Light has one hand gripping L’s hip, the other on the disgusting bathroom floor. He makes no movement to quicken his movements and L groans. “I really am sorry.” He grips Light's head with both hands and begins to thrust hard again. Every time his cock scrapes the back of Light's throat L moans loudly, the sound echoing off the empty walls within the bathroom. Light’s knees are shaking from having been kneeling so long on the hard floor. Their sounds, L’s husky moans and Light gagging on L’s dick fill the space between them.
L stops thrusting, his cock buried deep inside Light's throat as they hear the bathroom door open and footsteps. L keeps his hand on the back of Light's head, holding him there. Light tries to breathe through his nose, L’s cock pressed against his throat making it difficult. Gently, L rocks his hips as they hear the toilet beside them flush.
Light's eyes widen and he pushes on L’s hips, silently begging him to stop, tears leaking at the corners of his eyes, saliva dripping out of the corners of his mouth. L brings his hand to his mouth, biting down on his thumbnail. They listen to the sound of water running before the footsteps retreat.
L lets out of the moan he'd been holding and begins to thrust again. “Light!” He calls out before he empties himself down Light's throat. Light jerks back, choking on his cum. He turns his head and spits the rest onto the floor.
“You're fucking disgusting!” He wipes his mouth on the back of his hand.
“Yeah well, good luck going back to class with that raging hard-on,’” L retorts back, tucking himself back into his jeans. And oh if looks could kill L would surely be buried six feet under. Light stands, ripping his letterman jacket off and ties it around his waist as the bell rings.
Light walks over to the sink and spits again before he leans down, running his mouth under the water at the same time a group of boys enter the bathroom.
“Hey Yagami! Missed you in class,” one of them says, slapping Light on the back.
“Yeah, lunch didn't really sit well with me,” he lies easily, trying to smile at his friends, praying they don’t notice the flush on his cheeks.
L flushes the toilet, more for farces sake than anything else, and strolls over to the sink.
“What a freak,” one of them murmurs, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I bet he loves creeping on guys in the bathroom. Don't you, Lawliet?” A chorus of laughter rings out, but L doesn't bother giving them his attention as he shuts the water off and heads for the door.
“We asked you a question, faggot!” Another says, putting his hand on L’s chest, shoving him back. L’s eyes flick between the boys before settling on Light who quickly looks away.
“I didn't think such an idiotioc question warranted a response,” L says, no emotion in his voice. He makes to leave again when he's slammed against the wall.
“You fucking waste of space,” one of them says, spitting on him. L flinches as the saliva hits his face, but does not back down, leveling him with his gaze.
“Is that all you got?” He edges him on, willing him to take the bait.
The kid lets out a breathy laugh, “Oh you shouldn't have said that, Lawliet,” before he pulls a knife out of his jeans pocket. All sense of humor has left the kid's face, instead replaced with what can only be described as blind rage.
“Hey, woah!” Light says, eyeing the knife gripped so tightly in the other kid's hand his knuckles are turning white. “Jesus Mikami, put that away!”
“Fuck you, fag!” He says to L clearly getting more pissed off, ignoring Light’s protests.
“Is that the only word you know?” By now L has wiped the spit from his face and makes to move past the group again.
Before anyone can react, Mikami lunges at L again, slamming against the wall so hard his skull connects with a sickening sound. Mikami’s fist connects with L's jaw and the room seems to move in slow motion. His teammates grab onto his letterman jacket, trying to pull Mikami off of L as he pummels into him.
“Stop!” Someone yells, which may have been Light, but it's hard to tell as L’s ears are ringing.
“You'd do well to keep your fucking mouth shut from now on!” Mikami screams, finally allowing his friends to pull him back. L’s lip is bleeding and his nose is gushing blood as well, but the wound seems superficial. “You don't want to piss me off,” Mikamki says, eyes narrowing. He steps over L’s slumped body, followed by some of his teammates.
Light hesitates, stares at L slumped on the floor. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. They stare at each other, L’s face a grotesque display of the violence he's endured.
Light cringes slightly and walks out the door after his teammates without saying a word. L gingerly brings his hand up to touch the blood trickling from his lip before he lets his head fall back against the bathroom wall, finally letting his breath out.
Chapter Text
“I wanted to say something,” Light confesses later. He had been waiting outside the main doors leading into the school, waiting for L to come out at the end of the day.
“So why didn't you?”
“I'm not…” Light begins.
“What?” L snaps, finally losing patience. “Kind? A decent human being?” L brushes past him and starts walking away from the school, but Light trails after him, keeping a slight distance.
“I deserve that.” L does not turn around when Light says so. “Let me make it up to you.”
“I don't need you to make it up to me.” He shuffles down the sidewalk, heading to the student parking lot. “Stop following me.”
For once, Light is at a loss. Everyone wants to be around Light. Everyone wants to be his friend. Why was L different? “You're being difficult.”
L finally stops and turns to look at Light, the look in his eyes unreadable. “You understand what it feels like not to fit in. You've known that you were different, likely from a young age. No one was as smart as you. No one was as talented as you. You try very hard to fit in here, Light. I would hate to be the reason that changed.”
He turns, not bothering to wait for a response and keeps walking. Light just stands there, staring after L.
Why was L so different…
When L turns up for school the next day his eye is a dark black and purple bruise. The cut on his lip leaves a deep gash, only made worse by the dryness of them. Light turns his eyes from the conversation in front of him and stares in horror at the state of L as he passes by and disappears into an empty classroom.
Clutching his books to his chest, Light says goodbye to his friends and slips into the classroom after L, nudging the door behind him closed with his foot.
“Mikami got suspended,” Light offers. L leans against the desk, glancing over at Light.
“Was that your doing?” L queries.
“He should not have beat you up,” L offers. “Jesus, you look horrible.” Light approaches L, setting his books down. Light frowns and reaches up to gingerly touch his thumb along the split in L’s lip.
“I’m fine.” He tries to pull away from Light's touch.
“I should have said something…” Light says quietly. There's a slight moment of hesitation before he leans down and kisses L tenderly. L places his hand gently on Light's chest and pushes back slightly.
“I said I was fine. I can handle myself with Mikami, and anyone else for that matter. I don't need you getting involved.”
“That black eye says otherwise, L. Maybe I should-” but L cuts him off before he has a chance to finish his sentence.
“No.”
Light sighs reluctantly. “Alright, fine. But if anyone hurts you again…” he lets the thought hang in the air. L appreciates the sentiments nonetheless, even if he knows they are only lies. He sighs, the fight going out of his body as he visibly relaxes.
“I'm not mad at you, Light. I, more than anyone, understand what it's like to stand at the edge of the world and feel the crushing weight of its loneliness. I told you, we're very similar.”
Light sighs quietly, thinking it over. How did it ever come to this? “I hate that you're right. I've told you before, I've never met anyone like you. You asked me if I would like to, meet someone like you, that is. I hate that you can be so open about who you are. You don't care what people think of you-”
“I care,” L interjects. “I just don't think it's worth my time trying to change people's ideas. Everyone is going to have an opinion about me, whether or not they are right.” Light stares over at L and slowly feels his own walls coming down. Or are they caving in, threatening to crush him in the process.
“How do you do it?” He asks. “How do you act like it doesn't bother you?” Light's shoulders slump.
“Probably the same way you act like it doesn’t either. I don't know you that well, but it's very clear to me that the Light who is with his friends is different from who Light really is.”
And never before has Light felt so seen.
“If I don't, be different people,” Light clarifies, “I will never survive high school.”
“I understand,” L says sympathetically, reaching out a hand to grab Light's. Their fingers lock together briefly, L squeezing gently, before he lets their hands drop. “I'm not going to say it gets any easier; the world can be a pretty hostile place. But when you do get the chance to be yourself, you'll find that the weight that sits so heavy on your chest now will feel that much lighter. You’ll finally be able to breathe.”
Light searches L's eyes. He hates that he's only 16. That at only two years older than he is, L seems much smarter. Light is used to being the only intelligent person and he isn't used to sharing that space with anyone else. Despite how frustrating that is, he finds comfort in it at the same time.
“I'm okay being that space for you, if you want. At least until you find your own footing,” L continues and the kind offer makes Light feel slightly sick. He should have said something the other day. Done something. How did his inaction make him any better? He should be someone to be modeled after, but in that moment his fear gripped him so tightly. And instead of helping, he watched someone get the shit kicked out of them. Someone who didn't deserve that kind of treatment. L was weird, that much was for certain, but he didn’t deserve the black eye.
“God, you're sappy.” Light says, turning from L to hide the flush on his cheeks.
L just smiles, wrapping his arms around Light from behind and resting his head on Light's shoulder. Light leans into the touch and murmurs a soft and quiet, “thanks."
The second time it happens is in the courtyard later that week There is sudden shouting, someone is screaming, and L is on the ground with Mikami on top of him yelling he is going to kill L. Someone grabs Mikami's hand as he pulls back to hit L once more, who is struggling to breathe with the weight of Mikami on top of him.
That's when Light pulls his hand back and punches Mikami. He rolls off L, clutching his jaw screaming his nose is broken, cursing as blood pours down his chin. All three of them are hauled to the principal's office, Mikami clutching his bleeding nose, Light nursing his bruised knuckles, L hunched over following behind the two younger boys.
“What happened here?” The principal glances between the trio.
“Lawliet started it,” Mikami starts.
“That's not true,” Light defends without thinking.
L's concerned eyes snap to him as the principal sighs. “Mr. Mikami, you're suspended for the remainder of the football season.”
“You can't do that!” Mikami yells, “That freak started it and I get punished?!” He’s led out of the room, yelling the entire time.
“Mr. Yagami, Mr. Lawliet, I'm disappointed in two of our best students. You are both suspended until the end of the week.”
Light feels like he's had the wind knocked out of him. He's never been in trouble. Never been suspended in his life. His ears ring and he doesn't hear L calling his name. Doesn't feel L taking him by the arm after grabbing their bags, and doesn’t feel him leading him out of the office.
“Light,” L tries again once they've left the school. His mom was going to kill him, no worse, she was going to be disappointed in him. “Light.” Light blinks and focuses on L. “Let me take you home.” Light nods, not trusting his own voice. He gives L his home address and they're pulling up to the empty house fifteen minutes later.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” L offers, turning the car off. Light had been quiet the whole ride home. He wasn't in control anymore. The word suspended echoing inside his head. His heart pounds irrationally inside his chest. “I-I'm having a heart attack,” Light chokes out.
L is out of the car in record time, jerking open the passenger side and pulling Light out. He leads Light inside his home, taking his front door keys from his shaking hand to let them in. “Light, which room is yours?”
Light doesn't answer, instead he begins to hyperventilate. L leads him up the stairs, opening doors until he finds a room that looks like it could belong to a high school boy, although it's kind of hard to tell.
He pushes Light down onto the bed, and Light goes willingly. “Breathe. You're having a panic attack.”
“A panic… I've never had a panic attack before!”
“You've never been not in control of your life before. It's probably a shock, losing control like this.”
Light tries to take a few slow breaths. Tries not to spiral into thinking how this was going to reflect on his college applications. Tries not to think he's going to be stuck flipping burgers at some fast food joint for the rest of life.
“Breathe,” L whispers in his ear, taking a seat beside him.
“How are you not panicking? Are you not worried about your future? We’ve been suspended.”
“No,” L says, laying down on the bed, crossing his arms above his head. “I'll just hack into the school system and wipe the suspension from our records.”
“I… you can do that?” Light stares at him as L shrugs his shoulders.
“It's not like it's hard.”
At that, Light visibly relaxes, his body coming down from fight or flight mode. With much luck his parents never have to find out, so long as he makes himself scarce during the school day for the rest of the week. He lays down beside L and stares up at the ceiling, listening to his breathing even out.
“Your room is rather boring,” L says after a few moments of silence. Light rolls onto his side and glares at L.
“What does your room look like? I imagine it's messy like your appearance.”
L smiles at that and turns his head to look over at Light. “If you'd like to see it, I could show you some day.”
Light doesn't know why that makes him blush. It feels too intimate to see L’s bedroom. Not that it should matter considering he once had L’s dick in his mouth. And on that thought, his face reddens more.
“What are you thinking about, Light?” L reaches out, tucking a strand of hair behind Light's ear in an all too intimate action.
“Nothing,” he lies.
“Liar,” L says as he leans in to kiss him.
“Don't do that,” Light responds.
“What? Kiss you?”
“No. Read my mind. Don't do that.”
L chuckles, deepening the kiss. If it were up to Light he would lay here all day kissing L. Because it feels right. It feels normal. But eventually he hears the front door open and he jerks away from L as his bedroom door opens moments later.
“Oh, Light. I was wondering whose car was parked out front,” his mother says smiling at L with a little scepticism.
“This is my… friend, L” Light finishes, trying to push down his embarrassment.
“I was just leaving, Mrs. Yagami. Light wasn't feeling well so I drove him home.”
“Nonsense, you're welcome to stay for dinner uh… L.”
“Thank you, I'd like that.” L misses the way Light glares at him when his mother leaves. “What the hell, L?”
“What, afraid I'm going to regale your family with the story of you sucking my dick in the boys bathroom?”
“Oh my god, you're actually the worst.” But the memory has gone straight to Light's dick as he thinks about that time.
“That reminds me, I should repay the favor,” L says, approaching Light.
“W-What? Here? Now!?” Light backs up into his desk. “My mom is downstairs!”
“We’ll just have to be quiet then.”
“Absolutely not,” Light says, putting up his hands. “Not in my bedroom.”
“Where do you propose then? Your living room?” L takes a step towards Light. “How about the bathroom? Maybe you're more comfortable with that place.”
Light's face flushes a light pink as L presses himself against Light. “Maybe,” L says, slipping his hand between their bodies to undo the top button on Light's pants, “You'd like to do it in the dining room. Bent over the dining table.”
Light groans as L slides his zipper down, slipping his hand into his boxers. He feels L's warm breath on his skin, trailing soft kisses down his neck. And for fucks sake, he’s only human. A teenage boy at that. “Would you like that, Light? Would you like me to press up against you, right where your family eats dinner and fuck you?”
“S… stop,” Light hisses, pressing into L's touch. L's free hand slips under Light's t-shirt, stroking the soft abs on his stomach.
“Would you like me to slide my dick into you and make you come untouched?” Light moans louder, bucking his hips as L begins to stroke him faster, hand working over his aching cock.
“Yessss,” Light hisses. “God yes!” L temporarily removes his hand to push Light's letterman jacket off his shoulders where it falls to the floor. He removes Light's shirt, tossing it towards the bed absently.
His hand slips back into his boxers, resuming the languid strokes. “By the time I'd be done fucking you, you'd be crying.” Light tips his head back, grips the desk behind him tightly as L presses into him, cornering him against the furniture. Light has half a mind to wonder how L even knows how to do any of that. The other half doesn't really care. He lets his eyes close, getting swept up in the fantasy.
L’s hand never breaks stride as he begins kissing down Light's chest, flicking his tongue over Light's nipple. Light's body jerks as he cries out, hand flying up to grip L’s hair. “Fuck…” Light murmurs breathlessly.
“I'd make you come undone with my cock alone. Take you apart piece by piece so I could build you back together.” L flicks his wrist at the tip of Light's cock. “You'd worship my dick,” L murmurs against his skin as he continues a pathway down to Light's naval. “Make you cum, screaming my name.”
“L!” Light cries out, arching his back.
He feels his orgasm punch out of him, empties himself into L’s hand. Light whines as L continues to stroke him through his orgasm until it begins to feel like too much and the gravity of what they've done hits Light. He jerks away, shoving L back who has a hint of amusement in his eyes. He looks around, grabbing Light's discarded shirt and wiping Light's cum onto the fabric.
“Are you serious?” Light grits out through his teeth.
“I'm going to take this,” L says, grabbing Light's letterman jacket. “That way you'll be forced to see me to get it back.” He slips the jacket on over his shirt, shrugging it onto his shoulders.
He walks towards the door and Light doesn't even try to stop him. Wouldn't even if he wanted to because the jacket looked like it belonged to L.
He walks downstairs with L, stopping on the top step as his mother rounds the corner. “Thank you for the offer of dinner, Mrs. Yagami, but I really should get going.”
If Light's mom noticed the letterman jacket, she didn't say.
Chapter Text
When L sees Light at a party at the end of the week, he tries to give him the jacket back. “Keep it,” Light says, pushing the jacket back into L's hands. “Just don't wear it around school. I'll tell them I lost it.”
L raises an eyebrow. “Are you asking me to go steady with you, Light Yagami?”
Light rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” but there's no malice behind his words. “It… looked good on you.” L shrugs, tucking the jacket under his arm. “Why do you come to these parties? You don't seem like the partying sort,” he asks L.
“Honestly? Because you did seem the sort. I thought I would find you here. Lucky that I was right, huh?” Light feels a jolt pass through him at that revelation.
“You could have just asked for my number, like a normal person. Instead of stalking me,” Light says with a smirk.
“Would you have given me your number?”
At that moment, Misa bounds over to them, throwing her arms around Light's neck. “Liiight,” she sings. “Oh, you're that weird guy from school huh.”
L does not look very amused as he regards Misa. He does not miss the way Light tenses up as she gloms onto him.
“Suppose I am,” he agrees. “Light was just telling me about one of his annoying blonde friends.” Light shoots daggers at him. “I was just about to take off. Parties aren't really my thing.” He nods at Light and disappears into the crowd. Light feels mildly disappointed, and equally annoyed at Misa.
“Wow, he's so strange,” Misa muses.
“What the hell is your damage, Yagami,” comes a voice out of the crowd. “I got kicked off the team because of you!” He shoves Light, Misa jumping back just in time.
“You got kicked off the team because of what you did,” Light retorts back.
“The hell you sticking up for a fag anyways? You two got a thing going on?”
Light's better than this. Knows not to lower himself to the standards of a schoolyard bully. But the rage begins to seep through his core. Before he has a chance to react, Mikami doubles over, clutching his side where he was just kicked.
“Do you enjoy beating people up?” L asks, pressing the arch of his foot into Mikami’s neck, pinning him down. “Do you enjoy making others feel so small to make yourself seem bigger?” He punctuates each sentence by pressing down harder. Mikami is clawing at his foot and everyone else is just standing around watching, hushed murmurs circling around the pair.
Mikami's face begins to turn blue, his grip weakening. “Next time you think about opening your mouth, remember this moment.” He eases up off the others neck as Mikiami gasps for air.
“Yo-You’re a fucking psychopath!” Mikami chokes out. Misa helps him to his feet and they take off through the crowd of onlookers. Light stands there, staring at L in disbelief.
L casts a glance over his shoulder at Light, before he follows behind the retreating pair into the cool night air. Light is right on the heels, pushing past the bodies of students. “What was that?”
L shrugs, shoving his hands into his pockets as he keeps walking. “I've had my black belt for a while.”
“You can't be serious. Why would you let them beat you up then!” Light is annoyed, more annoyed than he has any right to be. But what kind of person just lays there and takes a beating if they are a black belt in karate.
“Would it have made a difference if I fought back? Mikami will always be a scared, insecure child. If it wasn't me, he would find someone else to lay victim to.”
“That's not a reason to let someone kick the shit out of you, L.” L just shrugs and glances at Light.
“Are you going to invite me back to your place now?” L inquires.
“What for?” Light snaps, still not understanding why anyone would let someone push them around. It's frustrating him, not understanding. Why would someone of L’s intellect willingly allow themselves to be a victim. It was senseless and there was no valuable lesson to be learned.
“To be nice.”
“I don't feel like being nice tonight.” L frowns at this response.
“Have I upset you, Light?”
Light doesn't know how to answer that. It's confusing, something his brain can't wrap itself around. And Light isn't used to not understanding something. So why was this so difficult?
“No,” he says, sighing.
“If you take me home, I promise to make it worth your while.”
So Light takes him back to his empty house, his mom and dad in the next town over for his sister’s ballet recital. The house is dark as Light flicks on the switches when they walk in the door. L takes a few moments to look over the family photos hanging on the wall in the dining room, notices the sports gear sitting by the door, the bits of pieces of a real family sprinkled in every corner. Light lifts himself onto the dining table and watches L as he moves around the room, almost as if he's inspecting it. Almost as if he can puzzle Light out just by his family home.
“I thought you were going to make it up to me,” Light states.
L's gaze shifts back to Light, eyes trailing over his body. Light shivers, feeling exposed even with all his clothes on. L moves, slotting himself between Light's legs.
“Are you sure you're ready for this?” L's voice is kind and gentle and it pisses Light off.
“Why are you asking me that? What happened to bending me over the table and fucking me so hard I can't think straight?”
And damn if Light's vulgar mouth didn't do things for him. L leans in, capturing Light's lips into a kiss. “How much time do we have?” He murmurs against him.
Light's eyes flicker towards the grandfather clock. “Two hours.”
“More than enough time to make you cum more than once.” Light groans at those words, wrapping his legs around Light's waist.
L reaches down, pulling Light's shirt off, followed quickly by his pants and boxers. Light tugs at L’s shirt, which L obliges, pulling it over his own head and tossing to the side. He makes quick work of his pants, discarding them with his shirt and steps out of his boxers. Light is already semi-hard as he watches L strip.
“I almost forgot,” L says, picking up the Letterman jacket off the floor and slipping it back on. From its pocket he produces a small tube of lube. Light wasn't nervous before, but seeing that small tube it suddenly sinks in what they're about to do and he questions if he's actually ready. It’s easier to pretend he is when the gravity of what they’re about to do isn’t facing him head on.
He doesn't want to think what L would think of him if he backs out now, so he lays back on the table, sliding his arms above his head to brace himself. He watches L coat his fingers in the lube and tries not to feel nervous. Watches as L places one hand on the table by Light's hip and the other rests on his hip, holding him steady. He opens his mouth when Light cuts him off.
“If you're about to ask if I'm ready, you can shut the fuck up.”
L chuckles softly. “It's your funeral.”
L slowly presses two fingers into his hole and the pain is instantaneous. Why anyone would ever want to do this is beyond Light as he feels like he's been punched in the gut. He doesn't breathe. Doesn’t move because pain shoots up his spine with every little squirm.
“Good?” L checks in. Light squeezes his eyes shut, trying to will his body to just fucking cooperate. Slowly, what seems like hours, but really has only been minutes, Light gives a slight nod.
L takes his time, keeping his fingers steady inside him as he watches Light's face. Slowly, he begins pumping them in and out of Light's glistening hole. Slowly, second by second, the pain ebbs and what remains is pure pleasure.
Oh this is why people do this.
Light's back arches from the table and he begins to squirm as L works him open, spreading his fingers inside him just to hear Light cry out. His cock is rock hard, neglected and dripping pre-cum onto his chest. L reaches out, gripping his cock, and strokes it languidly in time with his fingers.
When he thinks Light is ready, he adds a third finger. That's all it takes as Light cums, just from L's fingers. Just like L promised. He kisses the side of Light's lips and whispers “that's one.”
In his foggy mind, Light doesn't understand what L means until he's sliding his fingers out of him and applying a generous donation of lube onto his hard dick. Light watches through lidded eyes as L strokes himself, spreading the lube from base to tip. He grips Light's hips, dragging his body closer to the edge of the table.
“Don't worry, I won't ask.” He grips his cock and presses the head inside of Light. The pain is still there, but like a dull thrum. Light's eyes trail over L’s body, the way his stomach clenches with the effort he takes not to thrust into Light. The way the letterman jacket hangs off his naked body.
“Mo-move!” Light says through gritted teeth. And he does, snapping his hips forward, burying himself deeper inside of Light. The moan that slips from L's lips is guttural. He feels the tight wet heat of Light's ass clenching around him as he rubs soothing circles into his hip.
“Light, you need to relax.” He leans over Light, pressing their lips together. He kisses him slow and deep as he rocks his hips, pressing deeper inside Light until he's buried to the hilt and then doesn't move.
Light breathes through his nose slowly, trying to get used to L's cock pulsing inside him, splitting him open. Waves and pain and pleasure are washing over him, bathing him in their duality until slowly, the pain gives way to unadulterated pleasure.
Carefully, L pulls his hips back and slams back into Light, the table jolting from the force. “Fuck!” Light cries out. He wants to keep his eyes open, wants to watch the look in L's eyes as as he fucks into him, but he can’t. He’s filling a mix of so many conflicting emotions.
All L is wearing is his Letterman Jacket. It hangs loosely on his slimmer body, but it makes no difference as L pounds into him, the dining table moving with the force. Light has his arms above his head, gripping the edge of the table behind him as L rails into him.
Light doesn't want it to stop now that the pain is gone, but he feels the tight coil in his gut, a familiar feeling that his orgasm is fast approaching. “L… L!” He says it like a mantra, chanting it over and over as L fucks into him, holding his hips down as be changes his angle. And then Light is seeing fireworks exploding behind his eyes.
His whole body shakes from the power of his orgasm as he empties his load against his own chest. He rides the high for as long as he can as L pants above him, his moans sound obscene to Light's ears. L curls over him, gripping Light's arms above his head as his hips stutter and he's cumming filling Light's ass as his orgasm rocks through him. His hips slow, making drawn out lazy thrusts, fucking his cum into the younger boy.
Light whines and pushes on L with weak arms. “E… enough.” Slowly L pulls his softening cock from him and stares down at the blissed out boy.
“That's two,” he says laughing at Light's murderous look.
After what seems like ages with L's cum dying inside him, Light finally speaks. “What does your home look like?” Light asks, staring up the dining room ceiling, his back starting to ache from the hard table. For the first time, Light can sense how uncomfortable L feels.
“I live with a big family. But they're not my family. This older gentleman, Watari, took in a bunch of us kids when we were young. I'm technically a ward of the state, but Watari, he's…” L pauses for a moment. “He's like a grandfather to me, you could say.” L shrugs lightly as he thinks about it. “I don't really enjoy being there, what with the younger kids. It's too… loud.”
Light props himself up on the table and looks over at L. “Then where do you go usually?”
“I sleep in my car sometimes. Most nights I don't really sleep.”
“Are you serious?” And now Light is annoyed all over again. He sighs, sliding off the table and cringes. There is no way he is ever going to be able to eat dinner on that table again.
“Come on, we better get cleaned up before anyone gets home.”
“A third time? If you insist, Light Yagami.” Light just rolls his eyes and leads L upstairs to shower.
“Mom, L is going to spend the night. And we already ate so we're good,” L tells his mother when they get home later that night.
Light's mother smiles at them from the bottom of the stairs. “Alright boys, don't stay up too late.”
Light leads L back to his bedroom and starts making up a bed on the floor. “What are you doing?” L asks.
“Making you somewhere to sleep.”
“Sorry, I can have sex with you on your parents' dining table but I can't sleep in your bed?” L asks, climbing into Light's bed anyways.
“Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?” Light asks, slipping under the blankets beside him.
“Mh… you.” He smiles over at Light, leans over and places a soft kiss against his lips. “Goodnight, Light Yagami.”
Light watches L’s eyes close. Watches his breathing even out relatively quickly. Amazing what not sleeping for days on end can do for you. He traces the shape of L’s eyelashes resting against his cheeks, the way he looks at peace as he sleeps. “Goodnight, L.” He closes his eyes, pressing his forehead against L’s before he drifts off to sleep.
Chapter Text
When Light wakes in the morning, L is gone. But the pain in his ass is tenfold. He slips from bed, wincing at the pain. Oh he was definitely going to murder L. He hears his mother call his name from downstairs and quickly dresses, meeting her in the living room.
“Misa came by looking for you, Light. Maybe you should give her a call. She's such a nice girl. Why don't you ever hang out with her anymore?”
The question hangs heavy in the air, thick between them. “Because I'm busy with school. I don't have a lot of time for friends.”
“You seem to be hanging out with L a lot.” The words float in the air between them, the unspoken truth weaving through them. Because they’re not my friends. Because L isn’t like them.
“Call Misa, sweetie.”
“I can't.”
His mother doesn't say anything, waits for him to say more, using the silence that builds between them to give Light space. But the stillness of the moment feels suffocating.
“I can't,” he speaks again. His voice sounds small. “I'm not into Misa, mom.” His face feels hot. His breathing feels restricted, like he's being squeezed and the silence. It's so loud. “I'm not into girls.”
It's out of his mouth before he catch the words and shove them back in. “I'm gay.” His fists clench at his sides as his body begins to shake from fear. “I'm gay, mom. I'm gay.” He can't even look at her, his shame rolling off him in waves. Then he feels the weight of her arms wrapping around him and he crumples, a sob wracking his body as he shakes harder.
“Is L your boyfriend?”
“No,” he says quickly. “I don't know…” He suddenly feels so much lighter, just like L said he would. The crushing weight no longer sitting so heavy on his chest. “I like hanging out with him.”
“He's a little strange, but seems nice,” she muses.
“He's really strange,” Light agrees.
“Well, he's not allowed to sleep over anymore.” Light groans, pulling out of her hug.
“Seriously?”
“And keep your door open when he visits.” Light's gaze travels towards the dining table and his face burns. If only she knew.
Light shuts his locker Monday morning only to be greeted with Misa on the other side. “Where have you been? I came over on Sunday, but your mom said you were sleeping. At 9:00AM! That is so not like you.” She grabs onto Light's arm as he walks away.
He pulls his arm out of hers. “I was sleeping.”
“What is with you? You've been acting so weird ever since…”
“Since what, Misa?” Light can feel himself getting snippy with her.
“Since L showed up,” she states, staring up at him, her big blue eyes knowing.
“I don't know what you're talking about,” he says, trying to pick up the stride to get away from her.
“I see the way you look at him.” That stops Light in his tracks, turning around to stare at her. “It's okay, Light. I haven't said anything to anyone.”
As if summoned, L stalks by, shoulders hunched and they catch each other's eyes in the hallway. Light watches him disappear down the hallway. Watches the other kids with letterman jackets worn by their girlfriends and wonders for a brief moment why he couldn't have that too.
“Bit of an odd choice, but I won't tell anyone. Promise!”
“Misa,” Light starts. He's about to deny it. About to deny it like he's denied it every year since he's known. She's looking at him with such earnest in her eyes. “Keep it to yourself.” She squeals. Actually squeals and claps her hands together. Light cringes and shakes his head at her.
He doesn't know that Misa will actually keep it to herself. It's more than likely to spread like wildfire through the school sooner rather than later. The worst part is, L would graduate this year and Light would have to endure two more years of absolute torture alone.
But somehow, the thought didn't feel so debilitating anymore. High school certainly didn’t feel as boring as it once had.
Light is eating lunch in the cafeteria when news already breaks out. Damn Misa.
Mikami slams his hands down onto the table, his eyes narrowing. “So what, you're a fag now too?” The cafeteria has gone eerily quiet, watching the scene unfolding.
Light drops his sandwich, stands to his full height and stares at Mikami. There was no turning back. No reverting to how things used to be before L walked into his life. “And if I am?” He challenges.
Mikami's eyes focus behind Light, at the group of people standing alongside him. “We stand with you, Light,” one of them says. Light turns to look at the growing collection of people before he levels Mikami. “Light is still the amazing person he always has been,” another chimes.
“Seems like you’re the only person who has a problem with it,” Light says, his voice level.
Mikami's eyes dart from person to person. “You're sick in the head, Yagami. You know that?” He takes a step back, bumping into L. He stumbles, nearly tripping over himself. “Both of you are sick!”
He turns, high tailing it out of the cafeteria as the crowd disperses. “You alright?” L cocks his head slightly.
“Yeah, I guess so….”
“Want to get out of here?”
Normally, Light wouldn't dream of skipping school. “Yeah, I do.” He follows L out of the cafeteria, feeling the last of the weight slipping off his shoulders. Wonders how he didn’t do this sooner because the freedom feels so exhilarating.
He could still be the top student. Perfect grades. Personable and charming. He could be all those things, and also gay.
“Are you sure?” L asks, staring up at Light.
Light reaches over, straightening the collar on the letterman jacket wrapped around L. It had been a few weeks since Light’s revelation made its way around the school. Most people didn’t care, most girls were disappointed, but equally excited to have someone to share boy-talk with. Not that that was of any interest to Light.
“No,” Light answers honestly for once. Layer after layer of masks had been peeled away by L, having seen his true face from the very beginning. He knows once L graduates this spring he's going to have to stand on his own. Hates the thought of it. But there’s also some comfort in the thought that maybe he’d inspire other kids to be themselves.
Light glances up at the doors leading into the high school, links his hand L's, and walks up the steps.