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Chapter Text

“Well guys, cheers to another great day!” Said Billy Bob

“Cheers!” Everyone said in response

It was 9:30 PM, and the RockAFire Explosion was celebrating another great show. Showbiz had closed for the night 30 minutes earlier, and the cleaning crew was set to start their shift at 10:00. 

The Stage lights were on, adding a nice ambience. There was a Janky little radio from like, 2005 playing some Ke$ha songs. It went something like, “ Young hearts, out our minds. Runnin' till we outta timed” Mitzi mentioned her earlier. The song was called "Die Young" from what Rolfe Remembered.

"Why the hell would you sing about dying young?" Rolfe muttered to himself

It seemed that nothing could go wrong.

Dook was rambling to Beach Bear about Space, Earl was talking with Antioch, everyone was happy.

There was pizza, obviously, and red punch in red plastic cups. A bag of grocery store branded chips sat with the rest of the food, on a bright red tablecloth. 

The sounds of banter filled the air, so did the smell of pizza.

But to Rolfe, something was off. Everything was going perfect, too perfect. Rolfe just brushed it off as just a silly worry, he knew stuff like that only happened in books and movies. Despite this, he felt that something was off, like something tragic was going to happen. 

Everything always went wrong for him.

Rolfe was used to tragedy, his mum died when he was born, and his own father was an awful man. When Rolfe was a boy, he was told that HE was the reason why his mom was gone. Rolfe never liked celebrating his own birthday for this reason.

He secretly hated himself, how he was the reason why his mum was gone, how he was never good enough for people.

He felt like if he acted like he was the best, he wouldn’t feel like the worst anymore.

Suddenly, a voice snapped Rolfe out of his thoughts

“C’mon Rolfe! Join us!”

It was Billy Bob, something about his voice was pleasing to Rolfe. He didn’t know why, he just had these feelings. Like friendship, but stronger. Like they were possibly more than just friends in some strange way.

It might’ve been the way that Billy Bob laughed, or smiled, something about him just overwhelmed Rolfe with a sense of warmth, in a good way. He felt more “Full” around him, like Billy Bob was somewhat of a missing piece and Rolfe was a half-finished puzzle.

Rolfe began to walk over, feeling the carpet on his feet.

Suddenly, there was a loud crash, and one of the spotlights fell.

Everyone looked with horror on their faces.

The stage light caused a fire, and Billy Bob quickly ran to grab a fire extinguisher.

But the fire rapidly spread, and by the time Billy Bob came back, the fire was massive.

Everyone began to panic, and Billy Bob tried to fight it. But the fire was just too strong.

While everyone ran, Rolfe just….. Froze.

He did not know why, he was terrified. He wanted to run, but he was just frozen there. 

Suddenly, his mind just.. Snaps. He suddenly began to feel his heart starting to pound, fear overtaking him. He was sweating profusely. Everything around him seemed to disappear into a black void. It was like he was in another plane of existence. Like he wasn’t on Earth anymore. And he just ran.

He ran like a bat outta Hell.

It's like a button was pressed in his mind that made him run.

It felt like he was running through a dark void, he did not have a single clue as to where he was going. He just had to get the Hell out of there. 

It was like he lost all sense of being, and he was just a spirit running through the darkness.

After what seemed like an eternity, Rolfe began to gain clarity again. He felt dazed, like what happened was just a dream. An awful dream

God, he was hoping that this was all a dream.

Chapter Text

Rolfe didn't know where the Hell he even was, but from what he saw, it was outside a Walgreens.

His legs hurt, so walking back wasn’t an option.

He saw somebody rev up their car, a 2010 Lexus SC 430 

Rolfe quickly ran over to them.

“Hey! Can you drive me to Showbiz? NO TIME, I JUST NEED TO GET THERE NOW!”

The guy in the car, who looked to be around 50, was surprisingly very calm about it.

“Sure, I could use some company, my wife left me and my kids are in college and refuse to talk to me.”

Rolfe got into the car, moving a Half Eaten WaWa Chicken Caesar Wrap (Thankfully it was still in the container) and an empty Diet Dr. Pepper off of the seat.

He didn’t care about anything else at that moment aside from getting back to Showbiz.

“So, uhhhhhh, what’s with the urgency?” The driver asked

Rolfe started to feel the panic and stress again. “I was at Showbiz last night, there was a fire, I blacked out and ran”

“Holy Shit.” The driver said

*After a 30-Minute long drive accompanied by Rolfe’s Panicked sobs and a Conway Twitty cassette*

 “Did I really run that far?” Rolfe thought as the car drove up to Showbiz.  

Or, what was once Showbiz, but is now a pile of burning rubble.

“You sure this is the right place bud?”

“Yes. Thanks for taking me here” Rolfe responded in a hurried breath

“You’re welcome” Said the driver as he drove off

Rolfe took a minute to see what had happened.

The sign on the front was charred and fell. The building itself was a crumbling pile of smoke and rubble. And there were emergency vehicles everywhere. A reporter was covering the incident.

Rolfe came across one of the firemen, who recognized him.

“Oh my. Rolfe, I can’t believe you’re still alive. From what we’ve deduced, you were VERY VERY lucky to have gotten out when you did. Everyone else so far is either Missing, or PD.”

“What does PD mean?” Rolfe inquired.

“Presumed dead” The emergency worker responded

Dead

That word stabbed into his heart.

He was followed to an evidence table of things that they recovered from the fire.

One of these things was a charred mass of yellow fur.

Rolfe realized something at that moment, and didn’t want to believe it despite the fact that it was 100% true.

It was Earl.

Rolf began shaking

“No”

 “Nonononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono”

Suddenly he started sobbing. Earl was gone. His baby, his own.

His son

He began thinking of everything that he could’ve done. He could’ve saved him. He possibly could have saved them all. He thought about how he ran… like a coward.

Suddenly he began breathing heavily.

“They all suffered this because of me” 

“It was my fault. How am I “Lucky” If they are all dead or missing?!”

A Standby nurse came by, “It wasn’t your fault, there was nothing you could’ve done” 

“But I could’ve Saved Earl”

“I am very sorry for your loss, as I said earlier, there was nothing you could’ve done. If you were in that building for even a minute longer, you would’ve been dead.”

“I should’ve stayed for a minute longer then!” Rolfe sobbed

The nurse expressed a look of concern “It’s understandable to feel like this after an event. I recommend that you talk to someone about this, like a therapist.”

Rolfe couldn’t stand being there anymore. He had to get away.

He went to leave when he nearly tripped over something

Billy Bob’s signature banjo.

Rolfe quickly went to pick it up, as a reminder of his old friend. It was mostly intact, surprisingly. It was charred in some areas, and a string was broken, but it still worked. He stroked his hand over the strings, and a tear fell onto the banjo.

He didn’t know where he was gonna go. Or what he will even do with himself.

Suddenly, Rolfe had a realization.

“Maybe my dad was right, maybe everyone would be better off without me.”

“Pardon me Mr. Dewolfe, do you have anything to say about all of this?” The reporter asked.

In any other event, Rolfe would’ve taken advantage of being on tv, but this was different. He just wanted to be left alone. Forever.

“Uh sir,...” The reporter asked.

Rolfe then left, not knowing what he would do next…

Chapter Text

Rolfe was aimlessly walking through the streets of town. There were people talking about the fire, their careers, school, pretty much anything really. Many were blissfully going on with their lives. They haven’t dealt with what Rolfe was dealing with, for the most part.

Rolfe didn’t feel like himself anymore. He felt like his mind was disconnected from his body. He was a shell of who he once was. The people and the lights and the noises all blended into one huge blob to him. 

Rolfe was just walking through the street, when suddenly something came up behind him.

“EEP!” Rolfe yelped slightly,

It was a kid in a hoodie on an electric scooter.

“Why were there so many electric scooters in New Jersey?” Rolfe thought.

He found himself at a crosswalk, The kid with the scooter and a girl with a bag of Rainbow Popcorn were near him. 

The kid with the scooter zoomed across, not waiting for the cars to stop. Rolfe followed suit.

Nothing matters anymore.

He wasn’t living for anyone. Everyone he loved was dead. 

After some cars stopped, the girl with the popcorn began walking across.

There was a patch of grass, with a Faygo can, 2 cigarette butts, a small, empty alcohol bottle, and a wrinkled receipt from Charlotte Russe

Rolfe continued walking, thinking about how his life has just been one huge traumatic backstory.

His Mother was dead, his father was abusive, he was bullied in school, kicked out at age 17, homeless for a while, 2 toxic relationships, and then getting beaten up by that gang.

He remembered why he even sorta strived for fame in the first place. A mix between always being TRAPPED in his father’s shadow, a desire to prove everyone wrong, and because nobody really ever cared about him.

 The reason WHY he even got interested in puppets in the first place was because of how lonely he was as a kid. God, how pathetic was he, so lonely that he had to have a puppet as a friend. At least he met Mini when he was 12, sadly she went to the local public school and Rolfe went to Catholic School. 

Rolfe then wondered what his life would’ve been like if he HAD been able to complete high school and wasn’t kicked out by his father. When he was homeless and trying to find a steady job, 90% of places required a High School Diploma to apply. The ones that didn’t require a diploma didn’t pay that well. So, he spent six months working at an overpriced I <3 NY Gift shop with some annoyed teen with a flip phone who didn’t care in the slightest. He was in that prison, making $6 an hour before he used his attempt at nepotism to try to get gigs. 

He wasn’t a nepo hire, his dad severely hated him. Ever since he was born.

A passing NJ Transit train quickly jumped Rolfe out of his thoughts. He’s heard the trains his whole life, but he never was that close to one before. 

Part of him wished that he was on the tracks when it passed. 

“That’s all someone like you deserves anyway” said a small voice inside Rolfe’s head

Rolfe continued walking, the concrete below him feeling rough on his feet.

After a little while, he found himself in a quiet area.

The noise of other people began to become quieter and quieter with each step.

He couldn’t hear anyone, but the sounds of trains were very faint.

He came across a bridge with a body of water underneath it. An ad for an English class and a poster for voting for a Board of Education member were taped to the railings.

His mind began to wander after seeing the bridge.

He began to think about everything that had happened. How everyone was dead. How He could’ve done Anything and maybe life wouldn’t have turned out like this.

If he died right now, he felt that the world would be better off.

Everytime he loves someone, they die. Why can’t he get any love in his life?

After some thinking, he didn't honestly even see a point in continuing on anymore. 

He began to look down at the bottom of the bridge, the cold water below would give him a release from this Hell that he was trapped in.

He just wants to die. 

No one would even care. Would they? He was never the star. No one came for him, they came for the rest of the band.Who would give a damn, the wolf with the puppet. What a waste. 

A miserable failure.

He felt that he deserved the worst punishment Hell had to offer. The group he saw as his family is dead. He could’ve helped. He Could’ve done something.

At least death will give him an escape from everything. 

He’ll finally be happy.

Rolfe put Billy Bob’s old banjo on the ground, slowly began to climb over the ledge. The air filled with the sound of the pursuing water, the wind providing a slight chill. A tear fell from his eyes.

No one was in the area at the moment, no one was with him. He was alone. No one would care anyway if they saw him die. He was worthless.

A train let out a very faint noise in the quiet. Rolfe looked at the water below the high bridge. He noticed his reflection. The same reflection he used to fawn over, was now the face of a killer.

“Goodbye”

Right before he could jump off, something came flying down from a billboard, like an angel of sorts.

“Aagh!” Yelped Rolfe

Rolfe quickly got back onto the bridge, to see what it was.

He was still shaking from everything. His breathing was heavy.

Once he stopped shaking and calmed down a bit, he saw what the “Angel” was.

It was Birthday Bird, the little Yellow and Green bird that sat on Billy Bob’s Banjo.

“You survived?!” Rolfe exclaimed, feeling a very small sense of hope.

Birthday Bird gave a small tweet, as if they were saying Yes.

“Holy Sh-” Rolfe stopped before finishing his sentence, still shocked from what just happened.

He was still shaken because of everything. Suddenly, tears began welling up. Like a soldier returning from war and seeing his family again.

Birthday Bird sat on the old banjo, and Rolfe quickly went to pick it up. 

“Why was Birthday Bird here? Why did they come to save him? What did they want?” Thought Rolfe

“I don’t Deserve This” Said Rolfe

Birthday Bird let out another tweet.

Rolfe strangely felt…. Motivated

He didn’t understand why, but he just did

Maybe he does have a purpose, he doesn’t know what it is yet, but he will find out. Someday….

Chapter Text

Rolfe got off of that bridge and began walking towards his apartment. His van was there, because he chose to walk that day.

"Thank Christ" thought Rolfe after that realization

Because of Birthday Bird saving his life, the world seemed different to Rolfe. It was still gloomy, but… Different.

He couldn’t exactly place the feeling. It felt like looking through a window on a gloomy, rainy Wednesday in 2005 and there’s a Rainbow glitter sticker on the window. Like a spark of hope…

Billy Bob’s banjo was on his back and Birthday Bird was perched on the banjo. 

As Rolfe was walking, he took notice of the sights around him. Seeing if the world looked different. 

He noticed the abandoned bank, with small bits of graffiti on it, More kids on electric scooters, a rollerblader, and a place called “Philly Pizza Company”

“How Odd” Rolfe thought, considering that this was New Jersey, and not Philadelphia.

Everything seemed to remind him of the Rockafire. The 3 Auto Repair places he passed by, the High School with some Chatty Teens walking out after a sports game, a restaurant called “Frank’s Hawaiian Island”, a car blasting a song about some kid’s dream about winning a space war, an ad for a movie about New Orleans, an old banana, a teen calling their mom a geek, and an ad for Showbiz featuring a photo of the band. 

Rolfe took the Showbiz Poster, a mix of it being the principal since it was gone, and because of his grief.

After a good hour of walking, he finally made it to his apartment complex. 

It wasn't the best, but he always lied about his living situation to impress others. He sounded like those influencers Mitzi was alway talking about. Those models with bodies photoshopped to reach unrealistic beauty standards.

God, how he missed the band.

They were like family to him.

He went inside the complex, and walked up to his door, taking notice of the pool in the center of the complex. It was drained and just had a puddle of green water at the bottom. According to a former neighbor of his, It hasn’t been fixed since the 90’s.

His gaze went towards the ceramic bullfrog with a harp figurine outside the door, near the welcome mat. Rolfe lifted it up and grabbed the spare house key under it. He found it on Garbage night, along with a copy of Caddyshack on Vhs back in 2021. He didn’t even like Caddyshack, he just felt like he should take that tape. 

He unlocked the door to his apartment, and it just seemed so much sadder now.

The one-bedroom apartment’s lights were off, but the windows were opened, adding some light to the room. 

Rolfe began to gather some of his belongings in that room. Photos, records, and other things of the like. He put his late friend’s old banjo on his couch, and Birthday bird was sitting on the table, eyeing a Mamma Mia DVD.

Rolfe came across an old photo, one showing the whole band, it was captioned, “FIRST SHOW :)”

Everything was so much simpler then.

Rolfe began to break down. Some tears fell on the carpet, grief overtaking the wolf. 

Birthday Bird quickly noticed and flew towards Rolfe as an attempt to comfort him.

They took a glance at Rolfe and Chirped a few tweets.

Rolfe took notice and for some reason, he could sort of understand what they were saying. He doesn’t know if it’s grief, or if he’s going insane, but he listens.

It seemed to him that Birthday Bird was saying “I miss them too” and that “We can’t change the past, but We can Determine The future”

Rolfe went to put the Photo in his wallet, and went to his bedroom to pack up his clothes.

As soon as he entered his bedroom, he quickly noticed the little spot in the room that was Earl’s. It had an American Girl Doll bed, and some other small things.

It was so sad to him now. He couldn’t even bear to look at it, so he left it untouched. He heard about grieving parents doing it when their child dies. He never thought he’d see Earl as a son, or go through this at all.

He went into his closet and grabbed his clothes, deciding on which things that he liked and disliked. He also grabbed a suitcase, and put his clothes into it.

He Grabbed the air mattress he used for a while, his blanket, pillows, and a bedsheet.

He went into the back of his closet, and grabbed a Large shoebox labeled “IMPORTANT”

He took a look inside.

It contained some things that were irreplaceable to him.

His fist sock puppet from when he was 6, a Weird Al Cassette he got at a garage sale, a Kandi Cuff he found in Lubbock Texas when he was 23, his only pieces of fan mail, A VHS tape of his mother that he never had the guts to watch, a Polaroid of him and Billy Bob, a sticker of some Blue-Haired Girl with Pigtails that Mitzi Gave him, his old Flip Phone, a 10$ Gift Card to Coconuts that he got as a Birthday Gift from Dook one year, some odds & Ends, and something in what appeared to be a wide glasses case.

He opened the case. Inside was something priceless to him.

His late mother's diamond Choker. It was apparently an heirloom, from what he heard a relative of his say.

He heard many things about his mother. Beautiful, gentle, a talented dancer, of French-Russian descent. As Rolfe was thinking, he wondered one thing.

"How could such a great woman such as his mother marry a bastard like his father?"

He wished he actually got to know his mother. Some said that he had the same beautiful brown eyes as her.

Instead, he accidentally killed her, like what happened with the Rockafire.

Rolfe was so immersed in his own thoughts that he didn't even notice Birthday Bird perched on the lid of the shoebox.

*Chirp*

"OH MY!" Exclaimed Rolfe

He put his late mother's choker back in the case.

*Chirp (Curious)*

"Oh, that? That was the choker that belonged to my mother, she died when I was born. My father always said that I killed her. Guess I sorta did it again, but with the Rockafire."

A tear fell on the mattress

Birthday Bird let out another chirp.

They seemed to say that "None of that was his fault at all. That he had no control over his birth, or what happened at Showbiz." 

"Thanks Birthday Bird" Earnestly said Rolfe

* ♫ Chirp! ♫ *

Rolfe Got some duct tape and taped the Shoebox closed, and went to pack some more things. Birthday Bird watched Rolfe do this. 

Rolfe got his van keys, went outdoors and unlocked the van. He quickly got the air mattress, inflated it, and put it in the back of the van. He grabbed his bags, and his important shoebox. He then went back and grabbed some of the food he had and put it into a large cooler. He didn't take any of the stuff that was required to be in the freezer though.

Birthday Bird wondered what Rolfe was doing. They heard about people like this. It was called "#VanLife" or something of the sort. The people who pack up their life to travel the country.

Rolfe went to use the bathroom, and then did a final check over the apartment. The clothes he liked, his important objects, and some of his other photos and things were out. He took a look at Earl's corner. It pained him way too much to do anything to it. He looked it over and took one thing. The little blanket that he crocheted for his little Earl shortly after getting the apartment. Rolfe took one crochet class while he was younger, living in the van looking for something more with his life. 

Why the Hell was his life repeating all over again? Leaving New Jersey, trying to end his life, and feeling at fault for a loved one(s) death(s)?

"Is this that "Deja Vu" stuff that Beach talked about?" Rolfe muttered to himself.

After checking over the apartment, Rolfe knew it was time.

He gently seatbelted Billy Bob's old Banjo in the Passenger seat of the van, Had some water, a Ziploc of trail Mix, Birthday Bird In tow, and the photo of the band on the sun visor thing. (Rolfe never knew the name of those things in the van). Rolfe drove off. He left his old life behind, he's starting new. He needs a change of pace, life reminds him way too much of the Rockafire.

Rolfe turned on the van.

"Are you ready, Birthday Bird?"

*Chirp!*

The van drove off, Rolfe's final goal was not known yet.

He's going to be going on a journey of self-discovery.

Chapter Text

Rolfe pulled out of the Driveway, He left the house key underneath the decorative bullfrog. He hadn't the slightest clue as to where he was going to go. Birthday Bird moved to the dash.

Rolfe heard of these people before, the type to pack their lives and travel. Was he one of those people now? Rolfe then began to think about leaving his apartment behind, will people think he died. 

Rolfe's intrusive thoughts began to resurface, and stopped to quickly add a little note card to his dash.

"Don't Kill Yourself" was what he wrote on the note. 

Rolfe thought It would be a reminder, he didn't know how effective it would be. He just would like to try to use it as a motivator.

Rolfe began to make some mental rules for his journey.

1. Try not to kill yourself, no matter how bad the thoughts get
2. Don't Get attached to anyone else, It's just gonna hurt you in the end. Again
3. NO RELATIONSHIPS! 
4. AVOID YOUR FATHER!!
5. Don't accept HitchHikers

Rolfe then began to drive off. Sure he may not know what the hell he's gonna do, but he'll get there. Hopefully. 

He looked at the rearview mirror as a final goodbye to his apartment. He noticed his X-Shaped scar over his eye in the Reflection.

Oh how much he hated that scar. He used concealer to cover the scar up for years. He still remembers that fateful night in that alley where he first got it. That gang, the sharpness of the knife, nearly died in that Alley. But he also remembers how Billy Bob found Rolfe in that alley, saving his life. Sure they had their differences, but deep down, Rolfe really liked Billy Bob. He didn't know what he was feeling, but all he could describe it was… Close.

He started off as being jealous of Billy Bob, but it turns out later on that those feelings were just Rolfe wanting to be him. Like him. With him.

Rolfe couldn't pinpoint what that feeling was. But he felt a small pain in his heart knowing that Billy Bob, along with everyone else was gone. He looked at the photo on the sun-visor thing, and sighed.

"This is goodnight, not goodbye"

Rolfe heard that somewhere and he wasn't sure if the meaning fully lined up with it, but he thought it'd work.

He then went back to driving and then drove off, that apartment complex fading in the distance.

He turned on the radio, a PawJawgoogoo song was playing. Rolfe felt it would be good to distract himself from the pain with music. It was called "Shouldn't do That"

"It's better than dealing with my thoughts right now," thought Rolfe. 

A few minutes went by when he realized that his van's gas tank was running low. He went and stopped at a WaWa. 

He paid and the attendant put the pump into the van's gas tank.

He still remembers that one time Billy Bob tried to pump his own gas here, to which Rolfe stopped him because that was illegal here. New Jersey, the only place where you can't pump your own gas. Rolfe honestly never understood why it was only illegal in New Jersey, but at least he doesn't have to get out of the car usually! 

"Everything reminds me of him" Sighed Rolfe as he entered the WaWa

"You thinkin' of your ex?" asked a woman who heard Rolfe.

"NO, Billy Bob and I were just friends, nothing more! I don't know why people think I have a crush on him?! Me? Liking a boy? Preposterous!"

"The closet is glass" Thought the women as she walked off

Rolfe went and bought a Chicken Caesar Wrap and a RedPop Faygo (Which he found weird considering that he's never seen a Faygo In real Life except for in a cup holder of a van of a repair guy's who was fixing some stairs.)

Birthday Bird was just sitting on Rolfe's head and looking about.

As he was walking out, he glanced at the newspaper rack thing, he glanced and went to leave. A girl that was also looking at the rack picked up a copy of "The Salty Dog", saying something about it having "Juicy Drama" or whatever.

As Rolfe turned on the van, so did his car radio.

The beginning of the song Vogue by Madonna began to play.

Rolfe remembered Mitzi being obsessed with that song for a while. He felt an emotional pain in his chest.

She was dead. She was only a teenager. 

"They say that we are all equal in death's eyes. Bullshit. Murderers and abusive parents are still alive. Brutal dictators are still alive and kicking. But a teenage girl who did nothing wrong with a full life ahead of her, Dead."

Birthday Bird, who was sitting on the dash, looked at Rolfe with understanding.

"Look around, everywhere you turn is heartache"

Rolfe suddenly remembered something about that song. 

It was February 8th, 2009. A psychic walked up to a then 17 year old Rolfe. She said she was gonna tell him the "Words of his soul" or something.

It was these lyrics………..

Everything made sense now.

"You try everything you can to escape

The pain of life that you know"

It was uncanny how perfectly this line fit his story so well. Like, Madonna knew about him and this lyric was like a foreshadowing of his life. 

As Rolfe drove out of the WaWa, he was thinking about his feelings so far. He still felt disconnected from his body in a way. He doesn't care if he lives or dies. He was still empty inside. Like an empty bucket that finally got filled with water after YEARS, and then the water was taken away brutally.

Birthday Bird was pretending to be one of those dashboard novelties, like those hula dancer things from the (used to be only a) Dollar Tree.

Besides the music on the radio, it was too quiet for what Rolfe was used to. Usually there would be Earl yapping about how much of a geek Rolfe was, or some of the other Rock-Afire Members sharing some playful banter.

It's just like when he was 19…..

He still was hurt a lot on the inside. 

"I can just do what I've done since I can remember, just smile, deflect, and act like nothing's wrong!" said Rolfe, uncertainty in his voice. 

He sounded like he was slightly starting to be on the verge of losing it.

His selfishness and arrogance was somewhat of a survival tactic for him. As he saw at an early age, that's how the world worked. The selfish become the ones in charge. It became a mask for him. Just avoid all of your problems, sweep 'em under the rug. 

But now he's tripped on everything he swept underneath that rug over the years.

He wished to one day be completely honest about his emotions with the band. But sadly he will never be able to. The only people that saw Rolfe's honest emotions were Earl and Billy Bob.

He missed them so much. Losing Earl was like losing a child. Earl was technically Rolfe's Technically adopted child in a way.

Rolfe opened a window whilst he was driving, thinking that some fresh air would clear his mind.

Billy Bob was the only person to see behind Rolfe's emotional mask of egotism. Billy Bob was the only one who understood. He was always so empathetic to Rolfe. Also his fur was soft as Hell.

Rolfe still remembers the warmth and softness of Billy Bob's fur once when they hugged. Rolfe could've been in that moment forever.

Rolfe only really saw Billy Bob as a close friend. He never really felt true romantic attraction to someone unless he was close to them. Billy Bob and Rolfe weren't extremely close from what Rolfe knew. 

Rolfe was technically Bi, but he always felt a little awkward about dating men. As a kid he was told that that was bad, sinful. As Rolfe got older, he found himself feeling feelings about men in addition to girls. He freaked out a bit when he realized. Never told anyone. As he got older, he started to accept who he was, but hasn't been 100% open about his exact sexuality yet. 

While Rolfe was driving on the highway, he was in a bit of traffic. He took a moment to glance around. 

Everyone in the other cars has a story. They have so much to get to know about. Some of these people live average lives, being forgotten some decades later. 

Rolfe never wanted to just become a name on a grave back in the day. He wanted to be a, no, THE star. 

Rolfe then began thinking about the relatives of his former bandmates. He wondered how they were. Most likely still a wreck because of the Showbiz Fire

"The Showbiz fire is probably all over the news right now, that reporter talked to me…." 

Oh

Oh No…

Rolfe then realized something. He was the only member to survive the Showbiz fire. People are gonna try to mention him. His perspective about the incident..

He could possibly be a star

At What Cost…….

Rolfe was disturbed by this realization. It was like one of those whole "Monkey's Paw" things.

Right now, he would trade all that possible fame for his friends back.

He wasn't able to, they were never coming back….

He couldn't change the wind, but he could adjust his sails.