Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The servants' hall was always so cold in the morning. Trudging down the stairs to grab something hot to put in her belly Anna sighed heavily as she grabbed the kettle from the stove.

“You’re certainly up early.” Daisy said putting the two buckets she used for carrying the coal to the noble’s fireplaces every morning down. “I’m always the one up at this hour.” She wiped her hands and rinsed them off quickly in the sink before pulling down various ingredients for the family's breakfast.

Anna fidgeted with the hem of her apron. “ I just couldn't sleep is all, Daisy. Besides, Doesn’t hurt to get an early start.” Anna sat and sipped her tea watching the bell for Lady Mary’s room. Knowing soon her work day would start and wouldn't end until the late evening. Not that she minded much. It was a good and consistent job and to be honest she’d grown very fond of the family she served, especially the eldest Crawley daughter.

The other servants started to fill the dining hall sitting down to eat before starting their day. Thomas always sat next to Anna.

“Morning, Anna.” He said pulling a cigarette from his tin and lighting it. “Sleep well I hope.” He pulled a long drag and exhaled, pouring his own tea.

“ Fine, Thomas. Just fine.” Anna said, scoffing at his tone.

“Just checking….” He had been noting that she had been acting slightly off.

Anna looked sternly at him with her sweet face sneering to the best of her ability.

“Oh Anna, don’t pretend to be angry it's not becoming of you.”

“Thomas I-”

Before she could finish her sentence Mr. Carson entered the room and all of the servants stood up from their seats. Anna reluctantly pushed her chair back hoping to sit for longer but the bell for Lady Mary’s bedroom rang and she sighed.

“I guess your day has started hasn’t it Miss Smith.” Thomas said.

Anna looked at him with her meanest glare.

“Anna… you’ll have to try harder.” Thomas snuffed his cigarette out and also left the breakfast hall.

Making her way up to her lady’s bedroom she lifted the front of her maids uniform as she went up the stairs. Black with a white apron. Adjusting the small bonnet over her hair before reaching the long hallway that led to the sisters rooms. She knocked on Mary’s bedroom and entered.

“Good morning milady.” Anna said without an ounce of malice in her heart. “How are you today?” She approached the chair Mary was sitting at in front of the vanity grabbing the brush out of Mary’s hand gently. “ I hope you slept well.”

Mary. The epitome of elegance and aristocracy looked at her maid through the mirror in front of her and smiled. “I did Anna, darling.”

The addition of the appelative made Anna falter slightly having never heard anyone call her darling before. She had heard Mary use it for her sisters but never any of the servants. She started brushing Lady Mary’s hair gently, running her thin fingers through the long dark brown locks each time. Her fingers softly and subtly caressing the base of her neck without notice.

“Milady, you have cousin Matthew meeting you today. Would you like anything special done for your luncheon?” Anna asked politely.

Mary scoffed and rolled her eyes tossing the necklace she was fiddling with onto the vanity and leaning back into Anna’s hands as she brushed her hair.

“No.” is all she said.

“Yes, milady.” Anna replied, setting the brush down gently on the vanity.

Anna braided Mary’s hair gently and twisted it up with pins the same she had been doing for three years. The silence was comfortable and relaxed. Maybe the only time Anna ever felt relaxed doing her job was when her hands were on her Lady’s hair.

“Do you want anything specific for your luncheon milady? I do believe it’s a picnic. I can make sure something is packed you’d like?” Anna asked, backing towards the dresses laying across the bed meant for Mary to choose.

“No.” Mary replied unmoving from her position staring blankly at the wall behind the mirror.

“Very well milady.” Anna said, choosing the purple gown. She wouldn’t admit she adored seeing Mary wear this particular one. “Will this one do milady?” She held it out showing Mary the gown in the reflection of the mirror.

Mary leaned forward and regained her posture and breathed deeply from her nose.

“Yes Anna. I guess it will.” She stood up and turned towards her maid holding out her arms for Anna to pull the gown onto. Her deep hickory eyes were cast down. Not in thought but in disgust.

“Milady. Is everything alright?” Anna asked. Having known Mary for so long and knowing her detest for the suitors her parents pushed on her she already knew that the problem was the luncheon she would be forced to have.

Mary pulled the gown onto herself and turned around so Anna could tie the back of it delicately.

“Anna.” Mary said, turning her head to the side so she was slightly facing her maid. “What do you think of Cousin Matthew?”

Anna thought about the answer while adjusting the shoulder creases….lingering longer than she should when smoothing the fabric.

“Milady, he seems like a fine gentleman. He seems keen on you as well.” Anna said.

Mary sighed and turned fully to her maid. “Truth be told I’m so terribly tired of suitors.”

Anna smiled politely, reaching around Mary to grab the necklace she had been handling on the vanity and putting it over her neck and adjusting it to sit perfectly on her chest.

“Anna.” Mary said. “Do you think Matthew could be a good suitor? He is the heir to this estate and without him I won't have any position.”

Anna stepped back and knelt down adjusting the lady’s dress around her dress shoes. Standing up she found Mary had inched closer to her.

“Anna. What should I do?” Mary almost sounded on the verge of tears.

Anna stepped back. “ It’s not my place to say… but I would just…follow your heart.” She grabbed Mary’s garments from the bed and turned back to her. “Is there anything else I can do milady?”

Mary clenched her fists. Not in an angry way but a thoughtful way.

“No Anna. That’s all. Thank you” Mary turned around again grabbing her bottle of perfume.

Anna nodded her head and walked towards the door.

******

“Well you look flustered what has you in a tizzy Anna” Thomas said the instant Anna reached the bottom of the stairs entering the servants kitchen.

“Don’t you have something to do. Your job maybe” Anna said harshly as she grabbed the sewing box from the boot room. Thomas followed her.

“Why so nasty Anna? Is being a servant not what you expected from this life.” He straightened his livery outfit, sneering. “ You’re too sweet to be so angry, Anna.”

Anna stopped fussing with the box and stopped. Thomas had always been different and the staff had always dismissed his choice of partners. She felt singled out. Like he knew she might also be…the same.

“There’s no need for you to be so vile Thomas. Leave me alone.” She finally said brushing by him hitting his shoulder with hers.

*******

Mary went downstairs towards the library knowing that Matthew would be waiting for her in the garden with his kind face and his adoring smile. She couldn’t quite put it together why she was so put off by him. He was the perfect suitor when it came down to it. Would inherit the estate. He was very handsome. He was witty and smart. She couldn't help being annoyed by him nonetheless.

“Mary! My darling daughter.” Lord Granthom held his hands out to his first born daughter happily. “ Are you looking forward to your picnic with Matthew today?” He clutched her arm in his in a way Mary always loved. She loved her father. She loved that he always appreciated her tenacity. She leaned into his side and smiled despite her feelings towards the impending date with the next man being pushed on her.

“Oh, Papa you know me, I’m never excited to meet the men who will usurp my title.” Mary drawled out in her snotty arrogant voice she always had.

Lord Granthom stopped them and pulled Mary to face him.

“Mary my darling. Matthew is a good match. You would be smart to try. Just try.” He clutched her hands and kissed them before dropping them and leaving.

Mary stood in the middle of the hall almost on the verge of tears. Tired of being forced to talk to men who couldn’t even make a coherent sentence about anything she was remotely interested in. Tired of the men she was entertaining want to bind her in a loveless marriage. Tired of them impressing on her their importance that she felt was unimportant to the most degree.

“Mary!”

Mary snapped out of her trance to see her sister coming down the grand staircase smiling. Sybil always had a way of knowing when she was in need of saving.

“My dear Mary?” Sybil rushed over. “ Is it Matthew? Don’t you have your date with him today?”

With that said her other sister approached her behind Sybil.

“Yes she does. She will reject him of course. She can’t accept anything that will make her remotely happy when it can make anyone else happy.” Edith said tartly, walking past her quickly to avoid any rebuke from Mary.

Sybil looked down and grabbed Mary’s hands. “Don’t listen to her, sister.”

The three sisters entered the dining room and sat for breakfast. Mary did not dare look at her mother or father knowing they would eventually approach the subject of Matthew.

Lady Granthom looked at Mary in a lovingly motherly way. “Mary. I know you are seeing Matthew today.” She smiled.

Mary moved the eggs on her plate around listlessly trying to ignore the comment.

“I just think it would be good to just….give him a chance my darling.” She said sweetly before returning to her paper.

Lord Grantham looked up from his breakfast.

“Of course she should. Why shouldn’t she?.” He stared at Mary intently. “ And you will.” he finished. Mary knew this statement meant behave.

Mary finally had enough and stood up.

“I will Papa. I promise.” She said quickly before exiting the room on the verge of tears.

The prospect of Matthew being her future husband was all but perfect. They’d run the estate. They’d have an heir. Mary would ensure the future of the family. The idea made her sick.

She retreated back to her room and was tempted to pull the rope to call Anna. No. She is busy. She thought. Instead she laid on her bed crying into her pillow awaiting the hour she was expected to meet Matthew down by the lawn for their picnic.
*****

“Anna, are you prepared for Lady Mary’s luncheon with Matthew?” Mrs. Hughes said bringing Anna out of her daze of polishing Mary’s riding boots.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Hughes?”

“I said.” Mrs. Hughes approached her, “Lady Mary’s luncheon with Matthew?”

Anna inhaled through her nostrils and exhaled. “Oh. I wasn’t aware I was setting it up Ms. Hughes..”

Mrs. Hughes, the head housekeeper, looked at her squinting her eyes. “ Did Thomas not tell you? Ms. Pattmore has the basket set out for their date…. Heavens I hope this is the one…..I don’t think they’ll let Mary keep on anymore.” She scoffed and nodded towards a picnic basket meant for Anna to bring out to the lawn.

“Yes Mrs. Hughes.” Anna said, slipping off the gloves she had been using for polishing. “I will bring it now.” She stood up and went towards the kitchen to grab the basket. For Mary and Matthews lunch. To set up. Her stomach twisted in jealousy. A feeling she was unaccustomed to.

“Oh and Anna?” Mrs. Hughes said.

Anna turned around.

“Don’t forget the blanket.” She handed Anna a soft cotton blanket from the linen closet.

“Of course Mrs. Hughes.” Anna grabbed one and the basket and headed out towards the lawn.

***

“Mary” Matthew politely called as she met him on the back lawn. He kissed her cheeks and held both of her hands. She detested the feeling.

“Cousin Matthew! So nice of you to meet me. I do feel Papa and Mama framed us however” She never faltered with her high tone of smugness.

Matthew smiled towards the ground clearly flustered by her. “ Well” He put a hand on her lower back guiding her towards their picnic. Mary cringed at his hand on her back.

“Ah. I see it’s already being set up for us!” He said in a jovial tone.

Mary suddenly realized it was Anna setting the blanket delicately on the ground and placing the basket next to it. Opening the lid and pulling out the lunch contents. She walked faster towards her.

“Anna! I didn’t expect you to be doing this. I assumed Barrow or one of the footman.” She couldn’t conceal her smile.

Anna stood up, smoothing down her apron. “ I apologize milady” She stood straight and backed away from the blanket.

Mary, flustered, shook her beautiful head and smiled. “No need. I just didn’t expect to see you so soon.” She smiled so brightly at Anna she became embarrassed and looked at the grass. “Mr. Matthew and I were just not expecting anyone.”

Anna smiled and nodded before walking away.

“Is she your maid?” Matthew asked, sitting down on the blanket Anna had laid out.

“Yes.” Mary replied, watching Anna walk away.

“Well you’re very lucky to have such a loyal servant.” He said, grabbing the bottle of champagne out of the basket.

Mary turned to Matthew with the sternest of looks. “She’s not my servant.”

Matthew looked confused. “Oh.” He raised his eyebrows at Mary’s apparent disapproval of his words. “Well isn’t she your….the one who dresses you?”

Mary scoffed and sat on the ground next to the blanket. “You must think me arrogant and torturous.” She grabbed the glass of champagne he was holding out for her.

“No!” Matthew said. “I only think of you as lovely and slightly terrifying.” He added.

Mary sipped her drink and regained her composure.

“Well. There’s that I guess.”

*****

Anna entered the servants hall hastily being told to make up the beds in the daughters rooms quickly and to return and change so she was in her evening wear.

She made the beds in Lady Ediths and Lady Sybils rooms quickly but upon entering Lady Mary’s room she stopped when pulling her sheets up. Being more gentle about the pillows and covers. She bent over to tuck the sheets in and couldn’t help but put her face close to Lady Mary’s pillow and smelling the flowery scent that was always perfumed on it. It filled her with a deep burn in her abdomen.

“Anna?” Came a voice from the hallway.

“ Yes?”

“ You're needed downstairs.” Thomas said.

“Right you are. Be there.” Anna said finishing. Her face flushing as she moved around Thomas.

*********

Anna sat at the long table in the servants hall sipping tea and having a few bites of bread waiting for her evening to start. She had already changed into her evening livery.

Thomas came in adjusting his white gloves for serving looking peculiarly at Anna.

“I wish you’d just be out with it.” He shoved the last finger into the glove and approached the maid. “ What's wrong.” It wasn’t a question but a statement.

The bell rang for Lady Mary and Anna stood up promptly.

“Nothing Thomas.” She whispered.

****

Mary sat staring listlessly at her reflection replaying the day in her mind cringing at every interaction and touch Matthew had given her. She fussed with her hair silently wondering when Anna would arrive and help her into her evening gown and also wondering what those feelings meant. Her wanting to see her. Have her hands on her. Look into her blue eyes and-

“Good evening M’Lady .” Anna entered the room smiling. “I hope your lunch with Mr. Matthew went well?” She added approaching Mary at her vanity.

Mary faltered slightly before regaining her posture. “Well enough I suppose. However…” She dared say the next words but felt reckless. “However I’d much rather had lunch with you than Cousin Matthew.” She said looking up at Anna through the mirror as she pulled her jewelry off, setting it on the vanity.

Anna stopped in her steps as she reached towards Mary’s hair to pin it. Her breathing unsteady and her pulse vibrating with the words Mary had just said.

“Well. We are familiar with each other. Which always makes ... .things easier milady.” Anna breathed, starting her routine of fixing Mary’s hair for dinner. Her hands shaking slightly.

Mary looked at her lap choosing her next words carefully. She wasn’t sure whether she should pressure it further or leave it. “I just meant…it would have been more enjoyable. Or at least for me.” She added with a small grin.

Anna giggled, not able to control it. “Oh my, did you dislike it that much? You'd rather spend an afternoon with me, milady.” She finished her hair and grabbed a dress out of the wardrobe to bring over to lay on the bed.

Mary smiled and giggled slightly herself. “Well. It wasn’t an afternoon I’d rather repeat.”

They both giggled before regaining their composure.

“Well milady. I do like him but your opinion is the only one that matters with this. I just want you to be happy.” Anna said as Mary pulled the dress she was wearing off and Anna grabbed it bringing the evening gown up. Anna noticed the curves of her small waist and breasts under the confines of the corset holding them. “Will you see him again milady?’ Anna said with a stutter almost.

The dress was pulled over her shoulders and Anna started on fitting the evening gown. “I only mean…I’m sorry milady it’s not my place to say.” She added.

Mary suddenly turned around pulling the sleeve higher up on her shoulder while taking Anna’s hand under hers. “Don’t think you cannot tell me your opinion. I value it much greater than others.” She squeezed Anna’s hand and let it down gently breathing in through her nose.

They stood quietly locking eyes when the door opened with a knock.

It was Sybil.

“Hello Anna.” She said with the most genuine smile. “How are you?”

Anna smiled. Sybil being the kindest person she had ever met. “I am well Lady Sybil. Thank you.”

Mary seemed to have found this annoying. “I don’t need you to check up on Anna. I can do that my dear sister.” She tossed the necklace she had once again been fussing with over her head before Anna could help her. “Thank you Anna that will be all.”

Anna nodded with a slightly hurt look on her face at the abrupt dismissal. “Yes milday.” She left the room and as she went to close the door she noticed Mary was watching her as she left. She couldn’t help but blush slightly.

Sybill sat on the edge of Mary’s bed watching them curiously noticing the very abrupt change in her sister's facial composure.

“I didn’t mean to intrude. I just wanted to see how your day was.” Sybil said, sitting on the edge of Mary’s bed.

Mary watched Anna close the door and pulled on her long silk gloves huffing an irritated sigh. “ I suppose you, like everyone else, would like to know how my afternoon was with the man I will most likely be forced to marry.” She half glared at her little sister whose large doe eyes softened.

“Mary…I only want you to be happy. Matthew is quite handsome.” She smiled and when she smiled her face always seemed to glisten. Mary adored it

“Oh I am sorry my darling. I don’t know what is wrong with me.” She placed a gloved hand briefly on her sister's cheek. “Come. Let’s go down before Edith or Mama finds us.” She linked her elbow around Sybils and they left for dinner.

Chapter Text

Anna had just sat down for a quick cup of tea to get her through the last stretch of the day when Thomas sat across from her with his usual creased eyebrows. Looking smart in his livery and he knew it.

“Maybe someday we won't have to grovel at the foot of our overlords.” He looked at Anna who had a peculiar look on her face. “Anna.” Gaining her attention. “You’ve not been yourself lately… I know….I’m not one to show I even care…but what is it.” He took a long pull on his filterless cigarette.

Anna set her cup down and turned the cup around in the saucer nervously. “Thomas. Nothing. I am fine. I’m just tired…and what makes you think there is something wrong in the first place?” She almost started sounding indignant.

Thomas waved a hand with a side smile, “Well you’re heads up in the clouds is all.” And he did something that puzzled and almost irritated Anna. Pointed towards the ceiling.

Standing up for the beginning of dinner service she pushed her chair in and said, “I wish you’d just leave it.”

Thomas guffawed, “Oh so there is something then!” smiling.

Suddenly the room was bustling and servants were everywhere and the head Butler entered addressing them.

“I’m sorry Thomas but William is ill. I will need you to serve the courses. I wish we had another footman but alas we must ride the coattails of the future apparently.” His face disgusted. “Anna actually…might I ask you to serve the wine for tonight. His lordship wouldn't mind it and you have in the past.”

Anna sighed slightly at having a more tasking assignment but nodded and smiled, “of course Mr. Carson. I wouldn’t mind.” She followed Thomas through the kitchen picking a pair of white gloves from the livery closet and proceeded upstairs.

‘Well now you can’t avoid me.” Thomas smirked in a playful way.

“ Thomas I swear.” Anna smiled at the playful banter with her co-worker who generally did not get along with anyone else. “Go grab the first course I’ll pour the wine.

She picked up the decanter, arranged her face into a more neutral composure, and headed into the dining room to take her place next to the butler as the family sauntered in talking. She caught Mary’s eyes for a split second before Mary’s attention was dragged back to the conversation she was having. However, her eyes kept fluttering back to Anna. Like a magnet. Anna tried to act like she didn’t notice but she suddenly felt very nervous in a way she hadn’t. She was sometimes nervous in front of Mary and the family, but it was very rare. This felt different.

She started with The Countess first pouring her wine. “Oh my dear Anna I see they’ve once again recruited you for a man's job. Not surprising.” Carson raised an eyebrow.

“My lady, one of our footmen has taken ill.” He said broadly to the room.

“Oh no need to fuss, Carson. I rather like Anna.” She smiled at the maid and picked up her glass taking a small sip.

Anna nodded a thank you before making her way around the large table as the conversation resumed.

Anna noticed Matthew was sitting directly across from Mary who for some reason was fidgeting with the napkin she placed in her lap. Stealing looks at the blonde every so often in such a discreet way Anna could barely catch her.

She eventually reached Sybil who was sat next to Mary and added a sweet thank you and smile to Anna as she poured a small glass. When she leaned close to Lady Mary her cheeks suddenly started getting blushed and she heard Mary say every so softly and quietly

“Thank you my dear.”

Anna gasped ever so slightly and moved to the remaining family members before standing next to Carson and placing the decanter down and making her way to the servers station with the next wine for the next course. She could feel Mary’s eyes once again following her as she left and it gave her some sense of power. She hadn’t felt anything like this before and also didn’t quite understand when this had started. Whatever it was.

Thomas passed her with a tray making his way back through the green door to quickly gather the next course. Anna followed him as the next course wouldn’t be for at least twenty minutes.

She took the stairs quickly and made her way to the back door for some fresh air. Opening the door with an almost desperation she started to feel calmer. The stars bright and the air crisp her breath freezing in the air started to slow. She stood for longer than she meant staring up at the sky. When a harsh voice startled her.

“Anna! What ever are you doing out here and not in the dining room?” The Housekeeper Ms. Hughes furrowed her face as Anna was one of her only housekeepers who was punctual and non problematic. “Up you get. Now!” She ushered her back inside.

“Sorry Ms.Hughes. Just needed some fresh air.” Anna said as she rushed by her towards the stairs to the dining room galloping up them two at a time which left her tired at the top she grabbed the next course's wine, gathered her senses, and headed into the dining room to stand quietly next to the butler.

She noticed this time Mary did not avert her gaze as she entered as she was in a conversation with Matthew. Her voice had that deep disdain tone to it which Anna found actually quite alluring if she must admit it. Not the time Anna. She thought quickly, shaking the thought from her mind as she saw Thomas round the table with the main course. She waited for Mr. Carson to give her the nod to start serving the next batch of wine. A red wine. She had made sure it was the correct one by double checking it with Carson.

She once again started with the Countess. Moving clockwise around the table until she reached Lord Crawley who covered his glass signaling he did not want another glass, instead sipping on the brandy he had taken in with him from the drawing room. Anna nodded and moved around the table once again reaching Mary who this time did not give her any words or any indication she even existed. It didn’t sting her in the way she expected, but was curious nonetheless.

Standing back up when she was finished she moved next to Carson to set the wine down when Lord Granthom said rather harshly.
“Am I not to get any wine then?” Anna was confused before quickly recovering and picking up the decanter again when Mary rather loudly piped up.

“Papa you refused a glass when Anna was first serving, don't be cross.” She had her angry face on. The one Anna knew well too. The one that was giving a ‘do not tempt me to elevate this situation’ type of look.

Lord Grantham frowned before placing his empty glass to his side for Anna to fill it easier. “I apologize I changed my mind.”

Anna smiled and nodded as speaking to the family during their meals was generally frowned upon. She backed up once again next to Carson whose eyes were wide and he turned his head to summon her to his side.

Anytime she had to serve the family she felt this unmistakable feeling of inadequacy. Not necessarily unpleasant, but uncomfortable. She was standing directly behind Mary who suddenly looked to the side enough to smile ever so slightly at Anna who quickly looked at the ground to conceal her own smile and compose herself as she wanted to let out a small giggle for some reason.

After another thirty or so minutes the family moved through and left the dining room and Anna started to pull the glassware onto a large silver tray, but before she moved she once again felt the need to look at Lady Mary who also looked at her.

Matthew took her arm and lead her into the library. Mary turned back to him.

******

Sibyl and Mary made their way to the dining room for dinner talking about light subjects. Sybil not daring to bring up Mary’s unmarried status.

“Sit next to me tonight sister.” Sybil said cheerfully. Mary smiled and sat down. “That way I can save you from cousin Matthew if needed.” She whispered and Mary stifled a small laugh.

As the family began their banter and talk of mindless subjects Mary’s mind began to wander to her maid again. She started thinking about the first time she had even met Anna. She had made her genuinely laugh which is something not many were able to do. There was an unspoken calmness between them. An ebb and flow that was rare. The more she thought about it the more she wanted to explore it. Her mind suddenly went to a part of she rarely went…Anna’s hands in her hair, draping a necklace across her skin, her hands lightly over her shoulders-

“Mary and Matthew, how was your outing today?” Cora said, stirring Mary from her thoughts.

Mary cleared her through putting on her face and looked across the table to Matthew searching for polite words. It wasn’t unpleasant to say the least but she wasn’t pursuing anything with him actively with her own will.

“Oh it was lovely Cora thank you.” Matthew finally said, smiling. “I do hope we get to have another one.”

Mary smiled politely looking at her hands knowing she also needed to speak. “And we will! Soon.” She added.

Lord Grantham nodded in approval, however the Countess looked almost bewildered at Mary’s mannerisms.

“Well Robert we must not be too hasty. These things take time as you very well know. Let’s not, as the American’s say ‘jump the gun’. Such a dreadful saying.”

“Mother, I am not being hasty. I am simply happy Matthew now has a place in this family.” He smiled at Matthew and he smiled back.

Carson entered the room followed by Anna and Thomas.

Mary was so caught off guard at seeing the blonde who had recently consumed her thoughts she started to fluster. However, she shyly couldn’t help glancing at the maid who politely smiled at her making her way behind her at the station near the butler.

She could hear the murmur of conversion around the family under the buzzing in her head before her sister slowly pulled her out of it nodding towards the table to engage. She sat up straighter and focused.

However she couldn’t help but be nervous for Anna to reach her as she started to make her way around the table. Scenes in her mind of what to say or do somersaulted. What was wrong with her? She didn’t have to say anything! She was the eldest daughter to the Earl of Grantham why would she feel entitled to even say-

Anna lent down and gently poured her a glass of white wine. And before she could even think about it Mary barely whispered, “Thank you my dear.”

Mary felt Anna stiffen only slightly and blush at the comment which gave her a small gusto of pride. But the moment was over so quickly Mary had to re-engage with the tables conversion.

She glanced up and watched Anna leave the dining room while also noting her youngest sister looking at her with a peculiar grin barely noticeable to anyone else.

“So how about it, Mary?”
Mary was once again pulled out of her reverie. “I’m sorry?”

“Shall we have another afternoon together? I have a few places in mind I wouldn’t mind having a tour of.” Matthew politely said. God, he was incredibly handsome and kind. Why wasn’t she jumping at this bait.

Taking a deep breath and lifting her wine glass she said, “Of course. Wherever you’d like to see I would love to show you.”

She took a rather large sip and the liquid warmed her insides in more than the way of alcohol. Anna had been the one to pour it

Knowing she would soon reenter the room she once again pulled her mind off of such nonsense and started talking to her family about the estate. Not that her papa ever listened to her. If she were a man he would, but she was his darling daughter. An affection of love, but not of power or status. Her duties lied in making an heir. The thought made her appetite leave.

The footman once again joined the butler in the dining room followed by the blonde who had a pink shade on her cheeks almost from the cold Mary noticed. Anna once again started with the Countess and made her way around the table filling the next course's wine. Mary noticed her father denying the drink and that annoyed her for some reason.

When Anna made her way to her she did her best to pretend she was focused on whatever nonsense Edith was prattling on about when her papa’s tone changed.

“Am I not to get any wine then?” Papa said harshly which flared up an annoyance Mary wasn’t expecting.

“Papa you refused a glass when Anna was first serving, don't be cross.” Mary’s voice raised unexpectedly. In a not only defensive way but a protective way.

Lord Grantham moved his glass apologizing as Anna picked up the decanter she had sat down and bent down to refill his wine.

Mary’s glare was noticeable until she felt Sybil’s hand lightly touch her knee.

The dinner went on. Nonsense, Mary kept thinking. She just wanted to be upstairs in her room. With Anna. When the dinner ended and everyone scooted their chairs out to proceed to the library she saw Anna grab the large silver tray to clear the table and Mary had an urge to help her. How silly she thought, but seeing her work so hard without an ounce of consideration from her family made her upset.

“Shall we?” Matthew offered his arm.

Mary forced a smile and looped her arm into his and they left.

*****
After finally excusing herself from the library for bed she felt a feeling of relief having to not be put on display anymore. The acting could be put aside until another day or another moment when she would be forced to have another meeting with another suitor. The feeling made her want to cry.

Mary made her way up the stairs and entered her room with a sigh of relief. She suddenly got nervous at calling for Anna. Rolling her eyes at herself she pulled the bell for her maid. Her maid! She thought in her head. Don’t be so condescending, Mary. She thought as she started to slowly pull her fingers out of one of her gloves when sooner than she expected a knock was at her door.

“Enter” Mary said clearing her throat.

Anna was holding a freshly laundered nightgown for her and tenderly laid it across the end of her bed. Mary was so transfixed on her tiny movements she got lost. Anna’s small hands caressing the fabric. Her precise movements. Her downcast eyes.

“Do you need help mlady?” Anna pulled her once again out of her thoughts.

Mary realized she had been fumbling with her gloved fingers while watching Anna who was up in her room specifically to ready her for bed.

“I guess I do.” Mary added laughing, handing one of her hands daringly to Anna who pulled the glove down her arm slowly tugging at the fingers to pull it off Mary’s hand. She gathered the other glove the same way but Mary was more aware of her touch. The way Anna slide her palm down her arm as she wrapped the silk glove. It gave her visible goosebumps.

“How was your evening mlady?” Anna broke the still silence folding the gloves delicately and placing them in the vanity drawer.

Mary was certainly having a difficult time bringing herself to the topic at hand.

“It was as expected. Dull.” She said the last word with a drawl Anna was more than accustomed to. “I should probably start at least attempting to warm up to my newest suitor.” Mary turned around and started undoing the back of her dress with difficulty.

“Mlady let me do that.” Anna said hastily whose small delicate fingers started pulling the fine dress from Mary. As she gently pulled the dress down one palm partially ran down Mary’s back and soon Mary was left in her corset over her shift and Anna started to untie that as well. The silence between them less calm and more electric this evening.

“Will you be seeing Mr. Matthew again soon?” Anna broke the silence.

Mary felt the corset fall off of her and saw Anna bring it towards the chiffonier. She grabbed the small nightgown off the bed and quickly pulled it over herself before looking at her maid.

“I suppose I will. I don’t want to of course..but what else would be expected of me.” She breathed out sitting down in the chair in front of her vanity.

Anna began her well known routine of taking the pins out of Lady Mary’s hair. The long locks falling down gently as she softly made sure not to pull them. Unraveling them in such an almost adoring way Mary fell into a small trance closing her eyes and leaning her head to the side and felt Anna’s soft cold hand pull a lock of hair behind her ear to brush. Mary let out a small sigh hidden behind a smile Anna could see in the mirror.

Anna summoned some courage to speak to her in this state. “You know mlady. You don’t have to.” She brushed her hair with such care.

Mary opened her eyes slowly and turned around stopping the process of the nightly ritual.

“I don’t?” Her large dark brown eyes begging for a reason.

Anna stopped and held her gaze for a few seconds before answering. “No mlady. You don’t” She smiled and placed one hand on her shoulder gesturing her to turn around so she could finish brushing her hair.

Mary let Anna resume and decided to push their conversation further.

“Anna?” She asked.

“Yes mlady?”

“Have you ever wanted to marry?” She once again searched for her gaze in the mirror and could see Anna’s eyes darken slightly.

“Of course. However… I guess I just haven’t met the right person.” She smiled starting to braid Mary’s long chocolate hair.

Mary wasn’t satisfied with that answer and pushed it. “Who is the right person you’re looking for?”

This stopped Anna’s process and her hands stalled wrapped up in Mary’s lavender scented hair.
After a few moments of contemplation she resumed braiding. “I suppose…. I’ll just… know when I meet them.” Anna said finally.

Mary nodded and became more bold, turning around in her seat stopping Anna from finishing her hair. “You’ll know when you meet …him?” She corrected her sentence but with a playful glimmer in her eyes.

Anna started smiling. “Yes mlady. When I meet ‘him’ I’m sure I’ll know.” She gently pushed Mary’s shoulder to turn around so she could tie the ribbon around the end of her long braid.

Mary watched as Anna started gathering her discarded garments for either wash or hanging up and felt even more bold.

“Anna?” She stood up with one hand on the back of her chair. “You’re not much older than I am are you?”

Anna stopped in her tracks with a guffawed look on her face barely concealed. “My Lady?”

“Only. You are unmarried and you’re not much older than I am.” Mary flitted her hand like it was a normal conversation to have with ones maid.

Anna recovered, picking up the dress she had placed on the bed over her arm and looked up at Mary. “I am twenty four mlady.” Anna hid a small giggle. “Why?”

Mary’s boldness seemed to be building for some reason. “No reason I guess. I just wanted to know more about you. I have always adored older women I guess.” She added with a small twinkle in her eyes.

At this Anna’s heart leapt out of her chest and she was all but left speechless.

“Anyways… I’m sorry you had to serve at dinner tonight.” Mary tried to steer the conversation as she had derailed it so heavily. “I am also apologizing for my fathers words.” She added slowly closing the gap between them with her hands held in front of her.

Anna smiled widely and laughed. “ I thought your eyes would shoot daggers at your lordship. You sounded so angry mlady.”

They both giggled before Anna realized Mary had made it so close to her she could touch her and Mary reached out and squeezed her hand.

“Nobody should speak to you in that way.”

“Thank you Mlady.” Anna said softly, holding Mary’s hand. The heat between their fingers radiating to their faces which were both flushed when the door suddenly opened and they stepped back from one another like shrapnel.

“Anna? Oh Lady Mary I do apologize.” Ms. Hughes nodded towards Mary. “I was looking for Anna and Thomas said she had come up here awhile ago.”

Mary shrugged and smiled. “It’s my fault Ms. Hughes. I was just asking Anna for advice is all. Please don’t fault her for my disrespect for her schedule.” Mary grasped her hands in front of her. “But I’ll say goodnight.” And bid Anna and the housekeeper a goodbye.

As Anna left the room and turned around to shut the door Mary had not moved towards her bed in the slightest and was instead watching Anna leave and right before Anna closed the door she could have sworn she heard a very small “ good night Anna.”

*********

Anna settled into her bed next to her coworker who was almost asleep and started reliving the entire night in her mind. What was this? She had a small moment to put in her resignation just to never be in it again. She could never. She couldn’t do that to Mary.

Gwen stirred slightly. “Your thoughts are loud Anna.” She propped herself up smiling.

Anna gave her an apologetic look, “Sorry Gwen I just can’t sleep.” She turned towards her bed.

“Well what is it then?” Gwen asked in between a yawn. “What’s got your mind in a tizzy?”

Anna huffed out a big sigh. “I just… Do you ever think you’re not good enough for someone?”

Gwen yawned again. “I don’t even think I’m good enough for this job. Me mum was a housemaid so I am too. I want to be more. I can’t even think about being enough for some man.” She pulled her long red braid around her head. “What makes you ask that? “

Anna breathed out. “Oh nothing. Just a day it’s been is all.” She rolled onto her back. “Get some sleep, Gwen.”

“Night, Anna.” Gwen said before turning around again.

Anna rolled over too and her mind was filled with images of Mary. Her hickory eyes and her ivory skin and her smile… her words. She felt that familiar heat in her belly and ignored it before feeling the heaviness in her eyes and slowly falling asleep to thoughts of her lady.

Chapter Text

Anna was awoken by the knock from the kitchen maid and groaned at her measly six hours of sleep she was able to get.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to sleep in for once.” She muffled to Gwen.

Gwen sat up with the same feeling. “Not for us though.” and they both began their routine of dressing and washing their faces. Gwen glanced at Anna as she pinned her hair up with a quizzical look.

“Who were you talking about last night anyway?”

Anna had completely forgotten about it. “What?”

“You said you didn’t feel like you were good enough for someone.” Gwen yawned again putting her shoes on.

Anna instantly felt embarrassed. Had she really said that? “I must have just been tired. Don’t think anything of it.” She scoffed and finished the touches on her long hair up so she could head down to the servants hall quickly leaving the room knowing Gwen’s confused gaze was on her.
******

Mary woke up earlier than she normally did watching the light in her room slowly grow stronger. She decided to get up and wash her face and brush her teeth and sat on the edge of her bed looking at the large clock on her wall. It was only seven. Much too early to summon Anna. She walked over to her mirror looking at herself. She was undeniably beautiful but in a way she felt nobody would appreciate. She suddenly felt so small remembering that she would once again have to meet Matthew for some sort of tour of Downton. What would she even tell him? How much longer should she resist the eventual engagement. She tried to summon the haughtiness she used but couldn’t. The only thing she felt was shame and trepidation.

She glanced at the clock again and noticed it was now an appropriate time for her to ring for her maid.

She tugged on the soft velvet rope to call for Anna and sat somewhat nervously on the edge of her bed.
*******

Anna was wide awake sitting in the servants hall like she had done a hundred times except this time she had Thomas to talk to.

“Are you going to tell me why you've been acting so funny?” He took a sip of his tea and smoke exhaled from his nose. “Like dinner last night for instance”

Anna looked up with a frown. “Thomas don’t you get tired of being such a nosy git.”

“Anna! What type of language!” He said with a hint of a smile.

Anna smiled too.

“What would Mr. Carson say if he heard you say that type of language and in the servants hall nonetheless!” Thomas added causing Anna’s giggles to really start.

“Well good thing he is not present-” She said at the same moment Mr. Carson entered and they all stood up.

“It is too early for such nonsense.” He looked at them both before sitting down. “Mornings are for contemplation and that only.” He picked up his cup and took a sip. “Anna, you'll be serving the wine tonight as well. William is still unwell.”

Anna’s face flushed uncontrollably before finally answering. “Yes Mr. Carson.”

The prospect made her nervous as the last dinner had sent her into a non predicted mind spell. Mary’s eyes not having left her. She imagined Mary would act the same especially since their interaction last night. She had only held part of her hand and her entire body vibrated with some force she wasn’t used to. How was she to compose herself in front of the family when Mary was so bold? Speaking of, she would be dressing her any minute.

As soon as she thought about it the bell rang for Lady Mary’s room and Carson nodded at her. She stood up and smiled politely at Thomas who gave her a grin. She traipsed up the long winding stairs to the servants door to the hallway for the three daughters.

She took a deep breath before entering Lady Mary’s bedroom and knocked.

“Enter”

Anna gave her a polite smile before heading to her wardrobe to pluck out a simple outfit for the day and laying it on the end of her unmade bed. However, she felt Mary’s eyes on her.

“How was your sleep, m’lady?” Anna asked as Mary sat down in the seat in front of her vanity.

Mary took some time to answer before responding with, “Restlessly I suppose.”

Anna took those words into consideration. “I am sorry m'lady that's unfortunate.” She started un-braiding the long locks she had so preciously braided the night before and grabbed the brush to untangle them. “Was anything troubling you, m’lady?”

Mary was quiet for a few pauses before she answered. “I don’t even know to be honest. I’m just full of nerves as of late.” She tried to catch Anna’s gaze in the mirror but she was busy combing her hair. She felt daring again and added “I do love it when you’re here though. I don’t feel as obsolete.”

At that remake Anna stopped and met her gaze. “M’lady?”

Mary smiled. “Never mind. Did you sleep well, Anna?”

Anna preceded her routine with her heart in her throat. “I actually also slept quite disrupted. I just… couldn’t quiet my mind m’lady.”

Mary nodded. “It seems we both had a similar night.”

The routine resumed and after Mary’s hair was sorted, Anna went and grabbed the garments to dress her with. She pulled the corset over her body with such tenderness. Nothing like when her governess had taught her or her own mother. Pulling the strings in such a way she felt like she was a gift rather than an offering.

Mary dared herself to push conversation. “You said last evening you hadn’t met anyone… Is being in service stopping you?” Mary looked up into the mirror to find her gaze. “I only mean. Is the job too busy.” She felt so silly asking these to someone who worked day in and day out.

Anna smiled and stopped her motions with a cold hand on Mary’s shoulder. “No m’lady. It’s not stopping me from finding anyone. Like I said, I haven't found the right person.” Her hand cupped her shoulder finishing with the corset and pulling the dress up off the bed she started fitting her for the day. Gaining some gumption herself she rebuttled. “Is Matthew not proving to be a suitable man, m’lady?”

Mary felt Anna’s hands slide the sleeves of the dress up her arms and start securing the back distracting her. Her hands. Her small cold hands. Her cold hands?

“Anna, why are your hands always so cold?” She suddenly changed the subject on whim.

Anna stopped. “Oh. Well. It’s quite cold I suppose. In the quarters. I am used to it m’lady don’t worry.” She resumed.

Mary turned around with her dress half fitted. “How cold is it where you sleep?” She asked almost angrily.

Anna faltered slightly. “Oh it’s just a drafty house m’lady. Nothing to worry you about.” She turned Mary around gently so she could finish the back of her dress.

Mary was once again feeling bold and fitted her hand over the maids hand. Her warm hand over her cold hand.

“It is something to worry me about. I don’t want you to be cold, Anna.”

They stayed with their hands together for several moments. Minutes? It felt so long. Mary clasped her fingers around Anna’s and they met eyes once again in the mirror.

God's Anna was so beautiful. Her eyes the color of the sky, her hair curling about her ears. Her face perfectly had these slight freckles along her cheek so faint in the pale porcelain of her skin. Her hands were so soft and gentle. So small.

Mary felt bolder yet with Anna’s hand in hers and turned around. “I don’t ever want you to be cold, Anna.” She gave a small squeeze to her fingers when the door to her room opened.

“Mary, I heard Matthew is visiting today… Maybe it’s a good time for another date? Perhaps you both can go on a tour of the house? Or the gardens. It’s such a beautiful day.” Lady Grantham said.

To Anna’s astonishment at that moment Mary turned into her naturally cold self scoffing at her mother. Their hands having been released from one anothers at the turn of the door knob. Turning haughtily in her chair so Anna could finish styling her hair.

“Of course Mama.” Is all she said. “Please tell Papa he’ll be so pleased.” Mary said sardonically.

“Mary my dear, this is a good thing.” Cora said smiling. “Matthew is quite a fine match.” She was perched on the edge of Mary’s bed.

Anna finished Mary’s hair and retreated to grab her night clothes for washing.

“Thank you, Anna.” Mary said, surprising herself.

“Yes m’lady.” Anna bowed slightly exiting the room to avoid the looks from Lady Grantham.

Cora sat with furrowed brows as her daughter did the finishing touches on her face before standing up.

“Can’t keep them waiting.” Mary said and crossed the room opening the door as her mother followed.
********

Her sisters were already around the breakfast table. Edith reading a letter and Sibyl laughing at a comic her father had shown her. Mary greeted them and grabbed a piece of toast as Carson poured her a cup of tea.

“Who could have possibly written to you.” Mary drawled at her sister Edith.

Sibyl looked over at her oldest sister. “Mary, don't be so unkind.”

Mary scoffed slightly but still gave her favorite sister a nod of sorry.

“Yes. I am meeting with Matthew in the village today. He wanted to have a tour I guess.” Mary stirred her tea aimlessly wondering how long until she would be forced to spend every day with him. Every moment. Be married. The idea made her stomach clench. Anna would be dressing her everyday while she woke up next to Matthew. They wouldn’t have that time where it was just the two of them. Where she felt the most comfortable. Where she felt the safest and happiest. Her mind turned to her waking up next to Anna. Them talking about if they dreamed that night and how they would proceed with their day. Maybe Anna would be laying with her head in the crook of her neck and the ever so pleasant sounds of her voice and giggles would vibrate against her skin. The daydream took hold of her and she suddenly couldn’t think of anything else. She would lower her head and close the already small amount of space between them and-

“Well maybe I could join you! I do love talking about the village.” Sibyl piped up noticing Mary fall away into whatever was going on in her mind. “Edith, you should come too!” She added.

Edith cocked her head to the side. “Well I wouldn’t mind getting to know him more either. As long as Mary doesn’t mind.” She added with a hint of orneriness.

Mary was pulled out of her wonderfully inappropriate daydream. “Yes. Of course. I would like that.” She smiled at her sisters looking quickly at her parents.

“Oh I think that’s just a lovely idea, girls. Thank you Sibyl.” Cora said.

Mary was suddenly relieved to know she wouldn't be spending the day alone with him. She could have some sort of buffer from her sisters.

Mary engaged in conversation much easier after that and eventually followed her sisters out of the room pulling Sibyl to the side with a silent thank you. She just smiled and brushed her hand down Mary’s arm squeezing it with love. “We have to watch out for each other don’t we.”

******

Mary, Edith, and Sibyl met Matthew in the village and took turns showing him the different churches and establishments that were mostly named after their family. Edith was more enthusiastic than the other two at impressing Matthew, who to his credit, was so polite and kind with them. He kept trying to hold Mary’s gaze when they were speaking but she couldn’t bring herself to lock eyes with him. She didn’t want to reserve that type of intimacy for him.

After discussing the village and London Sibyl felt the lull and once again swooped in to help Mary.

“We should go to London sometime soon. Our dresses are all from last season. I know I could do with a handsome escort.” She smiled kindly at Matthew.

Matthew blushed. “ I would love to. There’s this wonderful restaurant I’d love to take Mary to. If she’ll oblige me.” He looked pointedly at Mary who had no choice but to lift her eyes to him. His eyes were almost the same shade of blue as Anna’s. More darker blue. Anna’s eyes had shades of grey. Depending on the light. Matthews were a simple shade of blue. His eyes were eager. Anna’s eyes were soft. Inviting. Comforting. Safe.

“I would love to. What a wonderful idea.” Mary smiled politely.

******

Anna was taking a well needed break outside. The sun was shining through the grey and she needed to get out of the confines of the house.

She heard someone join her on the cobbled and cluttered patio already suspecting who it was.

“Why must you always find me.” She stood up, turning towards the footman.

Thomas lit his cigarette taking a large pull before speaking as the smoke exhaled through his mouth. “I just wanted to step outside is all, but if you’d rather not have company I’ll stay silent.” He sounded genuine. A side only Anna had really seen before.

“No. Come here and have a seat. Rest your legs for heaven's sake.” Anna patted to the wooden box next to her she had been sitting on. “ I just wanted some air. I like it out here. Nobody bothers you.” She sneered teasingly.

Thomas coughed a laugh, “Oh I won't bother you….but.” He flicked the ashes off his cigarette and turned more pointedly towards Anna. “I know…I’m not the most trusted individual in the house-” Anna couldn’t help but giggle. “I meant it Anna, I just want you to know that I can be trustworthy to those who deserve it. You’ve always been kind to me for some reason.”

Anna took his words to heart and thanked him silently with a knowing look. She weighed the pros and cons of confiding in Thomas but felt something that told her it was safe to do so.

“Thomas.” She said.

He sat up straight giving her his full attention. “Yes?”

Anna fidgeted with the hem of her dress starting to sweat and panic. “What if…you fall for the wrong person. And you just simply cannot get them out of your mind?”

Thomas considered her question before answering, “What makes them the wrong person?”

Anna didn’t want to divulge too much and decided to go with a simple answer. “Class.”

Thomas finished his smoke clasping his hands between his knees leaning forward looking for the right words. “I’d say how do you know unless you tell them.”

Anna turned her head so quickly it creaked. “Tell them? Are you mad?”

Thomas sighed and straightened back up before standing fully. “I am. However you never know unless you try…. We should go back in.” He gestured towards the door waiting for Anna to stand up and go in front of him as he opened the door for her and ushered her inside. “You are serving tonight again if I’m not mistaken..” He added with a smirk.

“Oh what does that ever mean.” and Anna made her way towards her dorm to change for dinner service.

**********

Mary entered her room with her usual sigh of relief. She had some time before she would have to be dressed for dinner and decided to read. However most of the time she spent daydreaming looking out her window. What if Anna was sitting next to her reading as well. Their well blanketed silence calming. What if she had moved into her lap… her cold hands cradling her face… oh god she wanted to ask her father about the state of the servants quarters for better heating… the idea of Anna ( and yes the rest of them) falling asleep cold made her unsettled. She should be in a warm bed… maybe in the confines of her arms… so she could give her a small kiss on the top of her head and then-

A light knock on her door stirred her thoughts. “Sorry to bother you my dear.”

It was Sibyl.

“You’re never a bother.” She sat the unread book down on the table next to her chair. “What can I do for you?”

Sibyl sat on her vanity chair looking eager to tell her some type of news. “I was only thinking… when we go to London…Oh how I am excited for new dresses…it’s just that you’ll have to have Anna come along as well…” Her eyes had something in them Mary wasn’t quite registering.

“And why would she come?” Mary became suddenly defensive.

Sibyl slumped and sighed in annoyance of her sister's arrogance. “Well to fit us of course. Anna’s always been well ept in that area… and maybe she’d like to see the city for once…”

Mary nodded in slight agreement. “I suppose so…however what if she isn’t able to get away?” Mary was already planning it in her head. She could have more time with Anna…ask her about her interest and likes and what she thinks of the city now and-
“My dearest sister, I think she’d love to come with us. You could also use a… friend when having to ‘court’ Cousin Matthew.” She chose her words carefully with a small wink.

Mary swatted the air playfully. Oh how she adored Sibyl. “Well then I think you are right… I shall ask her soon. Now shoo.”

Sibyl stood up and turned gleefully before leaving and shutting Mary’s door.

The idea of having Anna all to herself was such a pleasant thought it brought to life so many more day dreams in which she got lost in. She’d have to insist Anna sit with her in first class on the train. Sibyl would be fine with it but Edith would ask questions that instantly made her annoyed. Noting that the daylight had slowly disappeared from the window she stood and pulled the velvet rope for Anna gleefully to maybe find a chance to ask her. Mary do not be so eager this is your maid and your friend. At the word friend that crossed her mind seemed to ground her a little more.

She wasn’t courting Anna. She was going to London for Matthew. The idea made her eyes roll so far back.

******

Anna was once again at the servants table eating a few bites before her long evening began. She rolled Thomas’s words around in her mind but it seemed impossible and also fake. This was something she had surely created in her mind out of some sort of desperation maybe. She didn’t even understand it herself having not explored….that. She shook her head trying to alleviate it from her mind. These were not thoughts someone should have… however… her mind instantly went back to Mary’s soft velvety skin and the goosebumps that seemed to appear when she touched her. The words she had spoken to her… she so wanted to lean down and place a light kiss on the small of her-

“Anna, remember you’re serving this evening as well so best go ready the girls while it’s still early.” Mrs. Hughes broke her thoughts.

“Yes of course.” She stood up just as the bell rang for Mary.

“That’s your cue. Be quick if you can.” Ms. Hughes added.

Anna clamored up the stairs and exited the servants' doors to the hallway where the family slept and before stepping in front of Lady Mary’s door she steadied herself and tossed the thoughts she had been having away.

Knocking, she entered the room to find Mary lounging in the chair next to the window. Mary quickly stood up, “Anna I’m sorry I had forgotten I even rang for you.”

Anna showed her usual professional kindness. “Not a worry mlady.” She approached the wardrobe pulling out the dress she had hung up earlier for Mary.

Turning around Mary started to undo her dress herself.

“Mlady please let me help you… or else you’ll get yourself trapped.” Her voice wavered with the hint of a laugh.

Mary looked at her. “Oh you don’t think I can undress myself do you?” She dared.

Anna clasped her hands in front of her, cocking her head to one side. “I don’t doubt it.” She stepped closer pulling Mary’s hands down that were fervently struggling to undo the back of her dress. She gave up with a defeated huff.

“Alright then. Help me.” She laughed.

“Of course mlady.” Anna started her normal work of pulling the dress off of her. Her hands delicately unbuttoning with slow care.

“Mary.” Mary said suddenly.

“Mlady?” Anna’s hands staggered slightly.

“Call me Mary please.”

Anna’s face blushed four shades of red and she was lucky that her lady was faced away from her. “Oh I’m not sure that’s proper mlady.” She said in a quiet tone pulling the dress down and folding it neatly across the end of the bed she had made earlier then going towards the wardrobe and pulling out the most elegant black beaded gown. It happened to be one of Anna’s favorites to see Mary in. She looked like a chandelier. One she wanted to dance under.

She pulled the dress over her corset and adjusted the sleeves quickly and after fastening the back she stepped towards the vanity to grab the beaded choker that accented the dress so beautifully…and Mary’s long neck she couldn’t stop thinking about… pulled it ever so delicately around and clasped the back with a soft but quick palm against her skin before pulling away finding the gloves for the outfit.

“I’d like you to.” Mary suddenly said.

Anna fidgeted with the gloves. “You like me to what mlady?”

Mary stood up so Anna could pull the gloves over her hands, “Call me Mary.”

Anna stopped in her tracks locking eyes with Mary for longer than she should have. Mary had the most stunning hickory colored eyes she had ever seen. She thought she even felt a hint of pleading in them as she held out one of her hands for Anna to pull the glove on her.

“Well then…I’ll have to… that’s something I’ll work on mlady.” Anna stuttered out distracted by the question and the way Mary’s fingers seemed to weakly hold to Anna’s as she adjusted the soft silk of the fabric.

Once Mary was dressed for dinner Anna couldn’t decide if she wanted to abandon the situation or linger.

“I must go mlady. I shall see you after dinner.” is all she could muster having to hide the blush that was burning through her face.

“Yes, Anna. Thank you.” Mary almost whispered. “I shall try and end the evening soon…” Mary too blushed and started awkwardly smoothing any fabric she could.

Anna nodded and left her room quickly making her way to the other sisters' rooms, composing herself before knocking on the next one's door.

*****

Anna once again was found having to take on the extra task of serving the wine for the families dinner who were hosting Matthew once again.

Thomas and her were in the kitchen listening to Ms. Pattmore’s instructions of each course when before she knew it she was being ushered upstairs to the server station off the dining room watching the family file in. She had never mentioned to Mary she would be serving once again that evening.

“Anna?” She heard Thomas say. “Do you have the wine?” He asked with half annoyance and half curiosity at her aloofness.

Anna shook her head as if shaking off a fly, “Yes…sorry.” and she proceeded to take her place next to Carson at the small table setting down the craft of wine waiting for them to settle into their seats. She instantly noticed Mary’s eyes widened at seeing her and a smile formed on her face almost as if she didn’t have any control over it. Anna smiled towards the floor to save herself from embarrassment.

The hum of the families conversation proceeded and Anna noticed Mary sat once again next to her sister Sibyl infront of where she stood. Once they were all seated she proceeded to start with the Countess again.

“Oh, Carson. Down a footman again?” She said cheekily.

Carson nodded, “Yes My Lady I do apologize.”

The countess flipped her hand in the air as to wave away the apology.

Anna continued around the table and when she reached Matthew he looked at her and said a clear thank you. He was such a kind young gentleman. Mary should be more interested in him, but a tint of jealousy still tugged at her heart. She reached Sibyl who also gave her a thank you and her signature smile.

She was nervous at leaning towards Mary. Being so close to her infront of so many eyes made her extra cautious of her motions. She poured the glass that Mary seemed to have moved close so she was made to lean in inches from her face. It smelled of lavender.

“Thank you, Anna.” Mary whispered.

Feeling a sudden urge of boldness, Anna responded, “Of course, Mary.” barely audible but only enough for Mary to hear. Who at the sound of her name stiffened and grasped at her napkin in her lap.

Another surge of warmth wrapped her middle at the sight of Mary maybe being flustered. She stepped back and sat the craft of wine on the tray at the service station.

******

She had to make her way downstairs for dinner and Mary was cursing herself for being so awkward and well…stupid with her maid. What did she expect would even come of such a desire? Nothing. She huffed at herself and made her way down joining her family in the library before going into the dining room. Sitting down once again next to her little sister she placed the napkin in her lap and started talking to her suitor across from her about their trip to London. Edith and Sibyl chiming in as well when there she was. Again. Not only entering her mind at every moment but her world. She got distracted from whatever Matthew and Edith were talking about and composed herself.

Anna, like the night before, made her way around the table starting with her Grandmama. Mary started, once again, preparing herself for Anna to be so close to her infront of her family. As she poured the wine for Sibyl she felt her sister look quickly over at her before taking a small sip.

Anna bent down and poured her a glass as the family was talking rather animatedly about something unimportant to Mary. She could feel the heat from Anna’s body and decided to just softly whisper to her.

“Thank you, Anna.”

When before pulling away Anna said to her, “Of course, Mary”

The first time she had heard her use her name fully. It sent Mary into a full spiral of the mind. Oh god, her voice in her ear. Her name came from her lips. So plainly and so delicately. So quiet. Like her name was their personal secret. Anna stepped back and she could hear her setting the wine down at the station behind her. She could also feel Sibyl's eyes on her. She glanced over with one of her most stern looks. Do not read into this my dear. She thought hoping to make the point across with her loving glare which Sibyl only took most graciously.

*****

Anna re-entered the kitchen with her whole body vibrating. Why would she do that? She had been asked but at that moment….did Mary like it?

“Anna the wine for the main course…” She drowned out the rest of Carson’s sentence with the memory of the smell of Lady Mary’s scent. Her neck was so tempting.

“Anna!” He said once again.

She once again shook the thoughts from her mind. “Sorry. Yes, the red.” She nodded

Carson about rolled his eyes saying how he wished William would be well again enough to serve dinner as well.

Anna caught Thomas’s eyes and he winked at her in a mischievous way as she followed him back up the stairs.

“Lady Mary seems to enjoy you serving dinner…so it seems.” He nonchalantly said holding a large tray for dinner.

“Thomas.” Is all Anna could say before they were summoned back into the room behind Carson.

She started pouring the wine for the main course of starting with the Countess. Her anxiety rising as she closed in on Mary.

“Thank you dear, Anna.” Sibyl said as she poured her a glass.

She moved in the same position next to Mary pouring her glass slowly.

“Please do that more often.” Mary said barely audible, sending Anna into a shade of red she could only blame on being tired from working.

****
Anna sat down with a tired groan at the table in the servants hall hearing the pattering of feet around her and the cluster of voices when she heard Thomas.

“Have a moment for a breath of fresh air?”

She looked up at him expecting to see his face hinting at sarcasm when all she saw was kindness. Something she wasn’t used to seeing on his face.

“Sure, Thomas.” She sat up from the table and followed him to the cold courtyard behind the house.

They stood there in silence for a while as Anna enjoyed the cold hitting her burning face. Her body sweating under her uniform. Her mind reeling with the small moments she had experienced that evening. The prospect of still having to to see Mary again before she could rest and sleep.

“Anna.” Thomas finally said. “I do wish you’d talk to me. I know I’m not the person to normally care but… I know how you feel.”

Anna contemplated this for a few minutes. Bouncing back and forth between boldness and secrecy. “Thomas. Let it go please.” she said please with her eyes shutting and tired.

He nodded into his cigarette. “Just know I can be trusted.”

They sat outside for a few more moments enjoying the cold air on their warm bodies without words. The comfort of each other's presence was enough until one of the houseboys opened the door, summoning them inside.

“Anna, Lady Mary’s bell has rung and Thomas..” before he could finish Thomas tossed his cigarette in the ashtray by the door.

“Yeah yeah. We’re coming.”

*****

Mary entered her bedroom and closed the door behind her leaning into it, almost gasping for air. For some reason a panic had set in and she felt so suffocated she ran to the window and opened it for some cold air.

It calmed her a little more. She was still shaking when she absentmindedly pulled the bell for her maid.

The stars were out. Her room had such a lovely view of them. The lights dim at that time of night she could see them and the moon very clearly from her window. She continued to wash herself in the cold air when she heard her door open and close. Turning around she saw Anna standing there. Her big blue doe eyes almost concerned.

“Mlady.” She crossed the room towards her. “Are you alright?” She placed a hand on her shoulder.

Mary leaned into her touch. The comfort it gave her was more than enough to ease her panic.

“Yes, Anna. I apologize.” However her voice gave way to her anxiety and Anna could feel her shudder. “I am just… I just feel so… stuck….so trapped… oh you don’t want to hear this from me I apologize.” She ended her speech by walking towards her vanity pulling her gloves off. “It is so unfair of me to complain.” she said in her darker tone.

Anna did what she was there to do. She delicately took the beautiful choker off her neck and placed it on the vanity. She started unclasping the back of her dress and pulled it off her shoulders.

“Mlady… I can listen if you can speak.” She said in her gorgeous accent.

Anna started on her corset. Unlacing the back as she always had done but with such care Mary wanted to almost cry.

“Have you ever thought about…running from your life?” Mary asked.

The question startled Anna. Who creased her eyebrows thinking of an appropriate response. When the answer was yes. She wanted to run away from the Abbey. Because she was being lovingly tortured.

Feeling once again bold enough she responded, “If I were to run away it would mean running from you…something I do not want to do.” She pulled Mary’s corset off and quickly draped the nightgown over her small frame with care and decided to quickly add, “I do enjoy working here mlady.”

Mary sat down so Anna could start in on her hair and once it was taken down fully she sighed. Anna’s hands sifting through her hair to brush it and braid it made Mary want it to never end.

“I would also not want you to run away from me.” She sighed.

Anna decided to try and lighten the subject. “Well then who would braid your hair mlady?”

They both giggled.

“Well. I suppose I would… I wouldn’t want anyone else to…” Mary started to feel that nighttime daring. “Thank you by the way.”

Anna looked at her in the mirror continuing to comb out her long dark hair. “For what?”

Mary turned and grabbed her hand holding the brush. “For calling me Mary.”

They stayed like that for what felt like a lifetime. Anna transferring the brush to her other hand and fully holding Mary’s. “Of course, Mary.” She whispered.

She finally started again braiding her hair, setting the brush down.

The silence that surrounded them was like a warm blanket.

When the ritual was finished, Anna picked up her elegant dress and hung it in the wardrobe and turned around facing Lady Mary with a pang in her heart of what could never be.

“Is there anything else mlady?.” She said

Mary stood up wanting their interaction to never end. “What do you think of…when you look at…say…the moon?” her arms shrugging at her shoulders.

Anna giggled. A sound Mary adored.

“Oh my. Such a strong question…Well…” She thought about it looking off to the side. “I guess…Beauty.” Anna breathed out a smile. A subtle one.

Mary nodded walking towards her with her heart pattering. “Me too…” and she reached forward and once again squeezed Anna’s free hand with hers. “ Well… Goodnight Anna.”

Once she dropped their hands Anna instantly missed the warmth.

“Goodnight…Goodnight Mary.” She smiled and turned to leave but before closing the door looked back at her and saw something she had never seen in Mary. It looked like a yearning. Yearning for me surely not.

****

Anna settled down in her small bed pulling the covers over her trying to warm up in the cold room. Gwen was doing the same.

“I wish we could have better blankets.” Gwen said, shivering trying to warm up.

Anna was brought back to the conversation about her cold hands. Mary had been concerned about them and how she seemed to legitimately care that she was cold when she was touching her. Maybe that was just because…who wants cold hands on them…maybe she should warm them up for her prior to dressing.

“Yes. That would be nice.” She responded to Gwen.

Gwen turned over to face her clearly wanting to talk a bit before sleep. “Anna, tell me who you were talking about the other night.” She smiled.

Anna couldn’t help but smile at the sight of who was procured in her mind. “Gwen. I was just speaking out of turn…I really didn’t have anyone in mind.” Mary’s eyes filled her thoughts. Her hands. Her neck. The way she would touch her hands.

Gwen scoffed. “Oh come off it. There’s got to be someone.” She added stuffing the thin blanket under her to warm up.

Anna felt cold too, swishing her feet together but also in a giddy way before lying to Gwen again.

“Gwen. There’s nobody.” She said as a finality.

Gwen sighed out. “Well that’s too bad. I could have used hearing about something forbidden.” She turned on her back. “Goodnight Anna.”

Anna did the same staring at the white ceiling. “Goodnight, Gwen.”

Something forbidden was correct. Something impossible. Anna’s mind drifted towards those uncouth thoughts she staved off all day. Curling into her pillow she could recall the smell of Mary’s lavender scent. Her hair draped over her shoulders turning back towards her and standing up walking towards her in her beautiful gown and putting her arms across Anna’s shoulders and leaning in for a-

No. Anna shoved those daydreams down.

*****

Mary was tossing around her bed trying to get comfortable. Upset with the universe for keeping her from falling asleep…if she slept then the closer she would be to see Anna. However tonight with her thoughts she couldn’t stop from having the ones she pressed down all day. Anna. Her eyes and her hands and her lips. She wanted them more than anything and in the darkness of her bedroom she decided to give in to her thoughts. She could feel a heat starting to build in her groin and she laid on her back huffing in frustration. Mary please regain a semblance of control.

Her mind jumped to the most uncontrollable thought. Anna on top of her and searing kisses along her jaw and her saying her name over and over into her skin. Their mouths colliding desperately. She would be able to lift Anna’s dress to touch her skin and finally know what that would feel like- clashing their mouths together to be even closer than they could be… she would press Anna’s back into her chest with mutterings of how much she longed for it and would forever long for it.

Before she knew it the thoughts led to one hand pressing down on the most intimate part of herself and she had to stifle a small but erotic sigh as the thoughts catapulted into something she felt she needed to release in order to be rid of them. Riding the high of the idea of being so close and intimate with Anna was all that was filling her mind. She moved her hand quicker whispering her name imagining her lips on parts of her body that were so sacred she started to shake with the impending climax. She started to whisper Anna’s name so silently she envisioned saying it in her ear as they both were together shed of their clothes moving in a way that would make them both-

She gasped out and rode the wave until she turned over in her bed feeling guilty about her thoughts. And I have to see her tomorrow. Mary did however feel relaxed at letting such a tension out and slowly lulled into a sleep. Tomorrow she would have to ask Anna about coming with her and her sisters to London.

So she could court Matthew.

Chapter Text

Anna woke up with the tiredness lingering as her sleep was frustrating and stifled with thoughts of Mary. Her body aching for some sort of release she never gave in to.

“Anna… Daisy knocked…” Gwen said muffled by her face half in her pillow.

“Yes…okay I’m up.” She pulled the blanket off of her confronted with the cold air that hit her. “It’s so cold.”

Gwen laughed a yawn down. “Yes it certainly is.”

Anna crept towards the dresser pulling out her own work uniform and laid it on the bed as Gwen did the same before they took turns with the sink.

“I wonder if we could get warmer blankets on our beds. I’m just so cold at night.” Gwen said in a sleepy voice.

Anna’s mind went to Mary’s words and half had a thought to ask her about it, but decided it was better to not.
***

*****
Mary woke up immediately reminded of her act of pleasure the night before, however the shame in it was minimal…she felt exhilarated at the new images of her and Anna she had procured in her mind that she could fall into throughout the day. She knew nothing would ever come of it. She had noticed Anna’s words and touches were more… intimate lately. She was probably imagining it desperate for Anna to have a desire for her as well, but that wasn’t likely the case… but at dinner… her so softly calling her Mary in front of the family… she wondered why she chose that moment to debut her request.

Not that she minded in the slightest but at the moment it gave Mary that now becoming more familiar burn in her middle and…the fuel added to the fantasy fire of something that would never become. She muttered to herself, “stupid” and got up and pulled the bell deciding to change into a new shift and pull her corset over her from only being able to lace the top one and the bottom one, Anna would have to do the rest and she would take her moment to ask her about London. If she said no, she would of course not force her to. Especially because it was only for the day and she might be needed at the abbey.

“Good morning mlady.” She said entering the room not even knocking which Mary found delightful. More comfort and trust between them.

“Morning Anna.” Mary watched her go to the wardrobe like she did every morning to find the outfit that had been placed in there the night before.

Anna gave a short but very audible laugh and Mary’s eyebrows raised as did a smile. “I know why you’re laughing and I will have you put in your notice.” Which made Anna chuckle even more.

“Mary, why didn’t you wait for me?”

Mary flushed instantly at the sound of her name. “Well I just…I always want to help your job be easier is all. I was being silly.”

Anna started lacing up the back pulling Mary’s long braid around her shoulder giving Mary again that swooping feeling in her groin. “I’ve told you before. I don’t mind it, and also it’s my job.”

Mary nodded. She was fitted into a casual lavender colored skirt with a striped linen shirt. Anna started tucking the shirt into her high waisted skirt. Starting in the back, being careful to not dare to brush Mary’s bare skin, which was impossible.

Mary instantly felt herself heat up and when Anna made her way around to the front of her their eyes locked. Mary noticed Anna’s pupils were wide and she was breathing steadily in and out of her nose. Mary was in a similar state and when Anna slid her fingers into the top of the skirt pushing the shirt down their eyes stayed locked. The act became something so intimate Mary was so aroused when Anna went to remove her fingers Mary quickly grabbed her wrist so she stilled. Anna moved her fingers still under the waist of the long garment to Mary’s side.

“Mary.” Anna breathed out. “We…” Mary placed her right hand in Anna’s and laced their fingers together and leaned her head towards Anna’s forehead.

They both sighed as if the world around them was silenced. They stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity. Mary moving her fingers between Anna’s softly before clasping them together tightly. Anna was the first one to pull away, releasing her hands from the warmth of Mary’s body.

She looked up and noticed Mary’s beautiful eyes had tears in them. Anna reached up to her face, cupping her cheek and swiping her soft thumb to move the tears away. “Mary, look at me.”

Mary met her eyes with Anna’s again leaning her face into her touch. “I know.”

They both nodded at the acknowledged understanding. Whatever this was couldn’t be.

Anna picked up the hairbrush and gestured for Mary to sit down.

******

Mary had said goodbye and Anna had, for what she believed for the last time, cupped her face with a small, “I shall see you this evening, Mary.”

The feelings she had tormenting in her whole being were being thrown back between a sadness she couldn’t describe and the arousal that continued to pulse in her core. Mary lacing her fingers with hers. The look in her eyes. Her fingers gently tracing the shirt along her abdomen. She was almost blind with desire. She raced to her room avoiding eye contact with anyone she passed and quickly closed the door and locked it.

Her breathing heavy, she started thinking about what could have happened if it wasn’t forbidden. She’d have reached down further and touched Mary and pulled her in for a desperate kiss… the thoughts were too much… Anna reached down to her own center moving her palm slowly at first…and the images became more explicit she wondered if Mary had done the same thing with her in mind. Mary. She leaned against the wall and with abandon rested one of her legs on a chair for easier access to the heat she had to release. She wanted Mary to put her mouth on her in every place she could imagine…She wanted to place her mouth on every place of Mary’s body she could imagine… building inside her she felt herself nearing a climax tilting her head back suddenly she released putting her hand over her mouth to stifle the moan. She peaked and imagined what Mary’s face looked like as she climaxed.

Her breathing slowed and she lowered her leg and flattened down her dress and walked over to the wash bowl splashing her face with cold water to calm the flush on her neck and face. The ache was slightly alleviated and the quick sadness of their parting words once again shifted around her thoughts. When the only thing she now desired was Mary. And she knew that would never go away.

Maybe she should hand in her notice and find another house to serve? The family would give her an excellent reference. But then she saw it, Mary’s large beautiful eyes suddenly filled with sadness. Perhaps anger. Or maybe she simply would learn to accept it and by being away from the house she could finally focus on Matthew and not this. Whatever this was…

She unlocked her door and stepped out into the hallway. Luckily it was the time of day when about all of the servants were working and did not run into anyone on her way back down to the hall where the family slept. She joined Gwen in Lady Edith’s room making up the bed.

“Where did you run off to?”

“So sorry, Gwen. My stomach hasn’t been right today. After we make these bed’s I’ll ask for some ginger tea in the kitchens.” Anna said feigning her stomach being ill wasn’t too hard. As her middle was still burning with the morning's events and her own ….well…actions.

Gwen smiled as they tucked in the side of the bed. “We just have Mary’s room left. I managed Sybils on me own.”

Anna did her best to compose herself. “Right.” is all she could muster.

Gwen looked at her curiously. “What’s wrong? Has Lady Mary not been kind? She can sure be an uppity minx sometimes.”

At those harsh words Anna sternly looked at Gwen, “You don’t know her. Don’t say such nasty things.” She threw an accent pillow rather half hazardously onto Lady Edith’s bed. “Right, let's finish this so we can have some lunch.”

******

Mary stood silently staring at the shut door where Anna had left wondering if that would be the extent of their touches. She knew now that Anna felt the same way she did. I’m glad I didn’t get that part wrong. She touched her abdomen and knelt her head down wanting to carve the moment into her memory forever. If it was to be the most intimate moment of her life she wanted to recall it with precision everytime she wanted to remember what it felt like. The intensity of their touches made her chest ache and she shook her head trying to regain a semblance of normalcy.

It was so early in the day as well. She had the entire day. Two more times to see Anna. And if they had silently agreed to try and let this go she didn’t know if she could. Maybe Anna could but she couldn’t. She couldn’t ask her to accompany them to London either. She needed to focus on Matthew instead.

The idea made her want to sob.

At that moment a soft knock on her door made her quickly wipe away her face replacing the tears with a stern look.

It was Sibyl. Who instantly knew something was wrong.

“Mary my goodness what happened?’ She said, pulling her sister onto the edge of the bed, her eyes full of concern.

Mary didn’t know if she should even say it outloud but she felt she might burst if she didn’t and maybe her most dearest sister wouldn’t judge her or tell anyone for falling in love with her maid. For falling in love with a woman.

“Oh Sibyl” She leaned into her fully letting the tears flow. Sibyl quickly pulled her into a hug rocking her back and forth. “I don’t think I can even say it.” She whispered.

Sibyl let Mary go and went over to lock her bedroom door before returning to her place holding her oldest sister. “I wished you would. I wont…I wont tell…I just want to understand why you’ve been so melancholy lately…well…not all the time I suppose…” She giggled slightly and so did Mary who regained herself and breathed deeply looking at her sister's eyes.

“I’ve fallen for the wrong person.”

Sibyl nodded, rubbing her back. “What makes them the wrong person?”

Mary looked towards the ceiling trying to stifle her tears. “Someone I would never be able to marry. Someone I would never be able to…love.”

Sibyl nodded thinking about the words her sister had said, piecing them together like a puzzle she had been trying to solve for weeks. “ Who is this person? Can you tell me?” She said sweetly. “I won’t judge you.”

Mary looked her fully in the eyes before closing them and summoning the courage to say it was Anna. “A woman.”

Sibyl smiled. “Well that’s not so bad… it could be some sort of criminal.”

Which made Mary laugh away some of her tears.

Sibyl decided to be brave. “Mary. Is it Anna?”
Mary nodded and clasped her hands in her lap in embarrassment.

However Sibyl smiled a full smile and laughed. “I knew it!”

“What?”

“Oh Mary I’ve seen you two together! Oh and that night at the dinner table when she said your name I thought you’d combust on the site.”

Mary was astonished that for one she wasn’t disgusted with her but also that she had been so obvious that she had noticed anything at all.

“You knew?” Is all Mary could say.

Sibyl gave her an almost eye roll. “My dear sister, you melt into a puddle whenever Anna is even remotely close to you. And no. I do not think it's wrong. I find it beautiful. I do believe if you wanted to… you could be happy together.” She faltered at the end knowing her words were not true.

Mary gave her an eye roll of her own. “I wish I had your optimism. We had a moment earlier…oh god it was so wonderful ... ..but…we just knew nothing could ever come of it…and…and I need to focus on Matthew…”she ended sounding more miserable than ever.

“Did you ask her to come to London with us?” Sibyl asked.

“No. She won't be joining us.” Mary stood up and straightened her skirt which now reminded her of Anna’s hands sliding under the hem.

Mary gestured for Sibyl to join her and they made their way downstairs.

Sibyl looped their arms together and they left.

They reached breakfast and Mary chimed in on conversation more than she had been despite her mind still being full of Anna.

“Are you girls ready for your outing to London tomorrow? Aunt Rosamund will be hosting you for the night of course.” Cora said

“The night?” Mary came out of her reverie.

“Well of course? You don't want to spend all day shopping and then ride back home. I already told her.”

“I’d love to visit with Aunt Rosamund.” Edith said smiling.
“Me too. Mary, how does that sound?” Sibyl said.

“Of course I'd like to as well…cannot wait.” She said in her darker tone.

*******

Mary’s day was dull. She felt exhilarated and downcasted at the same time. How was she supposed to act around someone she felt so strongly about? Should she suggest she move to a better house? If she really did not want this then she would agree. She had to agree…there was no way around it. Why would she want to torment someone she cared for so deeply to a life of servitude with someone she felt equally strongly for…especially when she would most likely be marrying Matthew.

The thought left such a pit in her stomach.

“Would you fancy a walk?” The sweet voice of Sibyl.

Mary smiled. “Of course.” She stood up. “I could use some fresh air.”

Soon they were walking through the gardens, sometimes talking about life and sometimes just enjoying their surroundings.

“You know, Mary…” Sibyl said stopping. “You don’t have to marry Matthew.” Her eyes full of care.

Mary huffed. “Oh but I do. I am the eldest child and unmarried and if I want anything to say about my inheritance to my birthright I will simply have to.” Her annoyance was not towards her sister's question but more at the way things were. “I cannot have the life I want…and if we somehow did … try to… what would that do for Anna? Mama and Papa would surely have her let go and then I’d be responsible for it. Because I desired something I knew I couldn’t have.”

Sibyl listened to her, taking in her words carefully. “Mary, but what if it didn’t go the way you envision?” She pulled one of Mary’s hands into hers. “Do you love her?”

Mary instantly tensed up and felt on the verge of tears. Her resolve has been so fragile lately. She nodded. “I think so.”

“And does she love you?”

“I won't speak on her behalf. But I do know she feels something for me.” with that a little smile started at the events of the past weeks.

Sibyl could see it and held her hands tighter. “Oh my, what happened? Did you…did you kiss?” She whispered looking around at the empty fields.

Mary laughed. “No, not even that. Something much more intimate I feel. We’ve just…held hands and …today…when she was helping me dress we were…well closer than we have been and I sort of…Oh I can’t even say.” She ended smiling to herself feeling her face get red. “Her hand was on my waist…and I just pulled her other one into mine and we just melted into each other… Oh I haven’t even fully held her in my arms.” Mary finally looked up at her sister who was smiling so wide it was infectious.

“Oh that sounds wonderfully romantic!” They resumed their walking. “I think you should tell her how you feel. Even…what if you write her a letter! That way you don’t have to you know… physically say it to her…and you can put those feelings to pen and paper and maybe it would help.”

Mary considered her words and thought it was a very smart idea. “Yes. I think I will.”

*******

Anna spent the rest of the day dizzy with feelings. With the release she had early out of pure desire. Her head was in the clouds. Luckily she wasn’t serving in the dining room as William was feeling well again. The idea of having to see Mary in such a setting made her stomach turn in a way she couldn’t decide was good or bad.

She sat at the servants table quietly eating her meal when Ms. Hughes approached her.

“Anna I am sorry to ask this of you again, but would you mind once again serving the wine this evening.”

Anna’s thoughts of relief vanished. “But William is well again Ms. Hughes? Why?”

“Mr. Matthew is here again and Mr. Carson is now not well. Thomas will be acting as butler and William will be serving the courses.” She looked at Anna sternly.

Anna nodded and stood up to change into her evening clothes. “I still have to dress Lady Edith, Sibyl, and Mary. I wasn’t prepared…”

“That’s okay I will do that. If you could prepare the wine for the evening I would greatly appreciate it…oh what I wouldn’t give for another hand.” She said before leaving for the upstairs when the girls' bells rang.

Anna went to her room next to change into her black quickly then proceeded to make her way to Mr. Carson's office to decant the wine through the cloth. There would be two for the evening so it took some time to do on such a short notice. She was so tired of picking up the extra work but more nervous to see Mary again. She had to press those feelings down….the feel of her skin against hers…her hands so close to her-
“Anna, is that done with yet oi?” Thomas popped his head into Carson’s office.

“About yet Thomas thank you. I was only told shortly ago I would be serving again.” She said with a twinge of annoyance.

“Ah. I see. You didn’t get to dress Mary. Well you’ll see her at dinner.” He said cheekily.

Anna looked up with a shocked but teasing look on her face. “How dare you-”

“Quickly with those the family is sitting down.” He sauntered away.

*****

Mary made her way downstairs slightly downtrodden that she hadn’t seen Anna prior to dinner…maybe she would after dinner…she hadn’t dared asked Ms.Hughes where Anna was as not to give them away or seem too eager. She hoped she hadn’t taken ill. But more so she hoped that she wasn’t purposely avoiding her as she wanted to tell her that it was okay…and that she would be professional and whatever Anna wanted to decide she would be okay. Only that she wanted her in her life in any way she could. However the conversation with her sister kept bouncing back and forth in her mind…what if…what if they could hide it ... ..what if she didn’t marry Matthew. Oh god he’s going to be here tonight again.

Tonight she was told by her father to sit next to Matthew on the opposite side from Sibyl who looked at her with a frown of sorry.

She needed to regain control of her life and -

Thomas entered standing at the butlers station along with her.

There she was again. Setting down the decanter of wine. Not making any attempt at eye contact. Mary was once again set under a spell she couldn't control. For some reason the site of Anna made her want to weep again. Oh, she was so beautiful. She wanted to unravel her long hair and pull it up to her face to memorize the scent of it and then-

“I am so very happy that you are visiting London tomorrow.” Matthew said with his eager eyes. Mary looked at him and couldn’t help but feel like he meant it genuinely. He was so kind and handsome. However, he was not for her. No man would be. Nobody would be.

“As am I.” She smiled, placing her napkin in her lap.

Anna did as she had the previous nights and made her way around the table and now the family had started thanking her personally for stepping in and helping out. This made Mary happy.

“Ah, thank you again, Anna. They’ve recruited you once again I see.” Matthew said kindly.

Anna nodded politely with a small smile and proceeded to pour Mary’s glass. Which sent tingling sensations around Mary’s body. She knew that this close to Matthew she couldn’t say anything remotely close to what she wanted to say but her haughtiness and status declared itself and she decided she didn’t care.

“Anna next time, inform me that you’ll be assigned to other tasks. I don't enjoy being surprised.” She used her darker tone. One that sounded entitled. However she felt Anna would understand.

She poured her glass. “Yes m'lady.” She said softly and made her way around the table and then back to the service station.

Matthew looked at her slightly, “Oh I’m sure Anna would have if she could.” He was playing as an advocate for her maid. Which made her dislike him more. Why couldn’t he be more of a prat.

Mary just took a small sip of her glass, not changing her facial expression. Maybe if she stopped being so polite with him he would be persuaded to stop pursuing her.

In full fledged mask Mary went the entire first part of dinner not sulking or even thinking of Anna. Until she appeared again for the main course.

“Are you happy about your visit tomorrow?” Matthew asked as Anna approached them with the wine.

Mary flustered only slightly when Anna reached Matthew.

“Of course. Who else would I want to spend time with?” She said as Matthew turned his head towards another conversation and as Anna poured her wine she pretended to pick up the glass before Anna was done and grasped her white glove slightly.

She could feel Anna’s face flush just at that touch and she suddenly felt her power coming back. She suddenly found her ground. It became so clear so suddenly. She wanted to be with Anna. She would court Matthew until she would find the right moment to tell him he was not the one.

There was only one person for her and it was Anna. She wouldn’t live her entire life having not made love to her. Oh dear the thought made her flush.

She resumed her dinner but did look up at Anna who was standing behind Sibyl who also was grinning into her dinner. Anna finally looked up and their eyes locked and softened at the same time.

The Countess also noticed this interaction as she had been taking particular attention to Mary in the past few dinners. She barely made it noticeable and distracted Matthew once again with pointless questions.

****

Anna finally sat down again hoping that Ms. Hughes would undress the girls for the evening as she was not only exhausted but not wanting to see Mary. She had noticed her words during dinner and felt she couldn’t contain herself if she did have to see her again.

Taking some sips of her tea Thomas kept looking at her with not only concern but curiosity.

“Alright there, Anna?” He said snuffing out his smoke.

Anna inhaled and said, “Yes, Thomas I am fine. Just very tired.”

He wasn’t convinced but didn’t have time to elaborate when Ms. Hughes entered the hall.

“Anna I will help Lady Edith and Lady Sibyl but could you please attend to Lady Mary. She was quite cross at the change this evening…oh how she can be such a…anyways her dresses are hung and her suitcase there to be packed for the morning…” She didn’t finish her negative thought but her face said it all. This upset Anna. Was she the only one who knew the real Mary?

Anna sighed. “Yes of course Ms. Hughes. I’ll go up now and get ready for her evening wear.”

“Thank you Anna and I promise you’ll have some time off soon..” She added with a waggle of her finger.

“Oh one and a half days whatever will you pine over during that time? Thomas said, looking at her pointedly.

Anna just sneered at him and then couldn’t contain her glee. Not only for the break in work, but the idea that her joy was so noticeable to at least one person in the house.

She slowly made her way up the long staircase to the family's hall and entered Mary's bedroom knowing she wouldn’t be up for some time and started to pull the gowns from the closet to be folded very delicately into her large suitcase. Her feet were so tired she so desperately wanted to sit down. Would Mary mind?

She gathered some garments and sat on the edge of Mary’s bed folding them into the suitcase when the door opened rather suddenly and there she was.

“I am sorry m’lady I was packing your clothes and just…” She couldn’t find an excuse.

Mary looked elated to find Anna near her bed and crossed the room silently reaching Anna and pulled her quickly into her arms. Wrapping them fully around her body so her hands gripped her sides and buried her face into the crook of her neck.

Anna had no hesitation in reciprocating the act and embraced her in the same way, however being much shorter than Mary her face fit perfectly in the soft spot of her neck she had dreamed of kissing. They held each other like that in silence, not daring to break it with words.

“You never need to apologize to me darling.” Mary said into her skin which sent Anna into another dizzy spell she couldn’t control.

“Mary…” Is all she could muster under the spell of her scent and arms.

Eventually they parted, still holding onto each other with enough room to look into each other's eyes.

“I only wanted to sound harsh this evening to tell you I missed you.” Mary sounded no pleaded to Anna.

Anna brushed her hand along her arm. “I know.” and gestured to turn around so she could take off the dress she was wearing. This time she wasn’t going to hold back. She felt like she wouldn’t be able to in any way.

She stood in front of Mary and knelt down and unclasped her shoes one at a time and placed them off to the side and standing up she circled around to the back of her and unclasped her dress slowly and when she slid it off her shoulder she pressed a kiss against her shoulder.

Mary gasped a moan quietly with her name lingering on her tongue.

Anna felt powerful in her actions and continued to pull the dress off of her so Mary was left in her shift and corset. She started to untie it slowly, pressing small kisses down her back that made Mary make even more heavenly sounds.

Once the corset was as good as undone she palmed Mary’s waist and moved in front of her only to see her eyes practically black and yearning she pulled it forward and folded it and placed it on the bed while picking up the nightgown she loved Mary in. The one that conformed to her body so beautifully.

Once it was over her Mary pulled her once again into her body.

“I’m so sorry I sounded so harsh. I had to just-”

“Shhh..” Anna whispered. “Don’t apologize to me again.”
Anna separated them slowly. An agonizing task and started placing the gown and corset in the wardrobe.

Anna fiddled with the hem of her dress. “How long will you be in London m’lady?”

Mary folded and once again was wrapped around her. Anna held her head against her shoulder and kissed the side of her hair. “Just one night…I am supposed to have dinner with Matthew. I have to tell him…I don’t even know.”

Anna soothed her hair kissing it again. “You have to marry him.” Anna said as tears started to fill her eyes.

Mary pulled her head up with fear in her eyes. “I don’t want to. You said so”

Anna reached around her neck and started to slowly take out the pins in her hair and watched her hair elegantly fall down her back. She softly turned Mary around to finish the task and placed another kiss on the back of her neck before gesturing her towards her vanity chair.

“I did…but…you need a good life… not one of ridicule and Lord and Lady Grantham want that for you.” Anna said as her eyes filled even more with tears as she started braiding Mary’s long beautiful hair.

When she was finished Mary immediately stood up and turned to Anna. Her eyes also glistening with soon to fall tears. “Is that what you really want…is that what you think…is that what you want for me?”

Anna looked at the floor trying to harness her emotions. “I wan’t what is best for you. I want you to prosper and be happy….I want you to not be burdened by anything.” Looking up into Mary’s eyes who had stepped closer to her.

“Anna… I….”

Her door opened.

“Oh Lady Mary I am so sorry for intruding but I was only looking for Anna.” Ms. Hughes said.

Mary stepped back and clasped her hands in front of her. “Of course Ms. Hughes I apologize for monopolizing Anna’s time.” The housekeeper looked at the two of them.

“It's not a bother My Lady. Anna-” She ushered Anna out of the room.

“M’lady.” Anna looked at her once again and backed away out of the room. “Goodnight.”

Mary made her way towards her bed and instead of picking up the novel she had been reading, grabbed some parchment and a pen from her drawer and started writing the letter Sibyl had suggested.

Chapter Text

The train ride to London was solemn. Sibyl and Edith talked about their eagerness for new dresses and the only thought that crossed Mary’s mind was the way things had been left with Anna. Sibyl every once in a while glanced at her sister who was watching the world pass by quickly outside the window.

Once they arrived and settled into her Aunts grand home in London they were changed by an unnamed maid of hers. Mary hated every touch. She felt like her skin was only reserved for Anna.

She did however enjoy spending money. And money was spent.

The dresses they were fitted for were gorgeous. Sybl chose a particularly daring set while Edith chose something traditional.

When Mary was choosing however Sibyl walked towards her. “I think Anna really liked you in the black one with the beaded choker…” she winked at her sister and Mary swatted her away…yes she did seem to enjoy that dress.

The one she had chosen was in the same vein. Black but the stitches were dark blue around the sleeves and the necklace that came with it was also dark blue. She looked at herself in the mirror and felt like a storm cloud. A storm cloud mad about a certain blonde with blue eyes.

“Oh Mary, that looks stunning!” Sibyl clapped.

“Of course it does.” Edith drawled as the clerk packaged up her newest dress and proceeded out of the establishment.

“Oh don’t pay attention to her,” Sibyl said.

“I never do.” Mary said.

She suddenly had a daring thought. “Do you have anything in a size 4? With a shorter hemline?”

The clerk pondered. “Yes we do My Lady however it would have to be adjusted for your stature..”

“Never mind that it is for a friend.”

Sibyl eyes were a glow with wonder. “Is there a necklace to accompany it?”

Mary turned to her quickly and her sister shrugged innocently.

The shop clerk came back with a deep blue gown with a low back line. The front laced around the bosom and the straps thin with a trail of beads that would lay around the shoulders.

Mary instantly envisioned this on Anna. The image swarmed her thoughts.

“Yes I think that will fit them perfectly, thank you.”

The clerk started boxing up both dresses and necklaces and Sibyl looked at her sister with a knowing grin.

“Oh stop it.” Mary said.

“Oh I’m sorry. I forgot it’s for Matthew.”

Mary gaped her mouth. “Sibyl!”

They both laughed.

At the sound of his name she knew she would have to have dinner with him that evening and it filled the pit of her stomach with dread.
****

Anna was able to sleep in that morning since the daughters were gone. It felt almost blissful on her body to lay in bed longer than six in the morning. However it was only a half day off. So she would be undoubtedly recruited for some cleaning. Which didn’t bother her too much. It was time usually alone and she could bask in the silence.

Around eleven she washed and pulled on her uniform.

Making her way to the servants table she found it empty. Which was perfectly fine with her. She grabbed a cup of hot tea and made her way to the courtyard when she found Thomas already sitting.

She walked slowly over.

“Oh how was your sleep in then?”

“Oh it was nice.” She smiled sitting next to him sipping her caffeine.

They sat in silence for some time. Thomas smoking his cigarette and Anna sipping on her tea.

“Anna?” Thomas said, breaking it.

“What.”

“Oh you don’t have to sound so angry with me all the time now.” He said playfully. “ I only meant I’ve just noticed you seem…different lately…and if you want to talk I can listen.”

I can listen. Something she had said to Mary at one point.

“Oh. Well I guess I’ve just…uhm…” She faltered. “Oh I shouldn’t speak of it, Thomas.” Anna ended.

Thomas hummed a reply. “Only when you’re ready.”

At that moment they were both summoned inside to start their duties once again.

Thomas was off to polish the silverware and Anna was told to dust and clean the daughters' bedrooms since they were gone.

She found Gwen in Sibyl’s bedroom and they began dusting when Anna sat up from wiping a figurine from Sibyl’s bookshelf. “Oh why don’t we make this go faster. We’re almost done in here. I can handle Lady Mary’s room and you can do Lady Ediths and we can meet in the Lord and Lady Granthams. How does that sound? Maybe we can have an early lunch.”

Gwen sighed, “Oh yes that sounds nice I am famished. You don’t mind doing Mary’s alone? She is the most ornery of them all.”

This comment made Anna defensive but decided against it. “No, I don't mind. I know her the best it seems…”

Gwen found that comment queer but disregarded it. “Right then. Have at it.” and Anna stood up and made her way to Mary’s bedroom.

She started in at Mary's vanity cleaning every item with such care and moved her way to the shelf above her fireplace. Her scent was everywhere that it sent her heart into flutters. When she went to fluff her pillows she picked one up and smelled it so quickly before placing it back on the bed. She dusted and wiped the lamp and bedside table accidently knocking over the book she had been reading.

“Damn.” She whispered to herself seeing she had knocked it over face down with the book placer. She picked up the book trying to keep the page she was on open and then picked up the piece of paper holding and noticed her name.

Her name? At the top of the open piece of paper.

She looked around like she was reading something so secret. She was! Mary did not want her to see this clearly.

She hesitated for a moment and then unfolded it fully to read it.

Anna,
*We have decided to keep us a secret and possibly nothing at all so I write this knowing that you might not feel the same as I do. My dearest sister suggested I write this so I write this with a pang in my heart.

I feel I have fallen for you in every possible way. You fill my thoughts with every waking moment and your eyes have captivated me since I met you. When I am in a crowded room I only see you. I only want to see you. I only desire you. When you have touched me I melt and want to feel nothing but your hands forever. This is bold to say but I have only imagined you when thinking of a lover.

I know that it is impossible for us to love fully, but if something were to happen to me I will want you to know my true feelings. I plan on giving this letter to my sister Sibyl. She knows of my feelings for you and knows that if I am unable to tell you in person at least it can be in writing. I know the last time we spoke it was final. However, I will never be as at peace or as safe as when I am in your presence. The only moments I feel complete are when I am drowning in your eyes.

I want to quote every poem I have ever read to you while you are in my arms and I want to hold you as you fall asleep. Warm in my arms.

You are so beautiful, Anna. I so long to unravel your hair and give you delicate kisses.

I hope that whenever you read this you are happy as I want you to be so happy.

I am madly in love with you. However, I will never be sure you love me as I will never get to hear those words drip deliciously from your gorgeous mouth.

I love you.

Forever,
Mary.

*

Anna read and reread the letter until she was certain she had memorized it and placed it softly back in the book she had been reading and sat it back on her bedside table.

She was in such shock at the words Gwen suddenly was in the room. “Anna? You’ve been here forever. Let’s finish the rooms please and go sit down.” She wiped her hand over her forehead.

Anna stood up, smoothing her apron. “I’m on my way. Sorry, Gwen.” She moved quickly past her and they made their way down the hallway.

*****

Mary was sitting down with Matthew at the dinner table of the restaurant he had chosen. She had to give him some credit it was a grand establishment.

“How was your travels today? I do apologize I had to catch an earlier train.” Matthew said. His eyes were full of delight. Oh how he was so nice. Mary tried to harness some sort of desire for him.

Mary picked up her menu and smiled at him, “They were fine thank you. My sisters and I had a delightful time at our favorite shop.”

He smiled back and the waiter came and took their order. He ordered for them both before Mary could say otherwise and she shut her mouth and lowered her menu. Her sneer came back across her face.

“Well I guess I didn’t even need a menu.” It wasn’t a question, more of a comment.

Matthew faltered slightly, “Oh I apologize how rude of me…”

“Not a bother, only teasing.”

The waiter came and poured them their wine and all Mary could think of was Anna. Anna leaning down and whispering, “Of course, Mary” in her ear at her family dining table. She had to focus.

“So tell me Matthew. What are your plans for the estate that you’re going to inherit over me, the eldest daughter of the Earl?” She had her drawl back. Picking up her glass of wine.

Matthew staggered his words before saying, “Well hopefully with your help quite a bit… Lord Grantham and I have already spoken about some parts…but it is new to me, yes.”

Mary took his words into consideration before retaliating.

“Do you think it’s fair?” She placed her glass on the table with a steel glare.

Matthew looked at her confused. “Do I think what is fair?”

“That my father had to find some distant cousin to inherit our estate because I am a woman.” She said looking directly in his eyes.

Matthew was fidgeting with his napkin. “No. I do not think it is fair.”

This took Mary by surprise. “Oh?”

He straightened himself in his seat and grabbed his glass. “I do not think it is fair at all. Actually if to be honest…I feel guilty…. However… I am glad I met you.”

God he was so dashing and kind and everything a woman would want in a man.

It made Mary so exhausted and angry.

“But you will.” She placed her hands in her lap and looked at him with one of her most stern stares.

Matthew and her sat still for a while and then their meals arrived and they ate politely until Matthew spoke up.

“Mary, you don’t have to marry me.”

Mary looked up so quickly she felt embarrassed.

“If there is another man, I do not ever want to be in the way of that. I do think we could love each other …..but I’m not the type of man to force it.”

Why must he be so kind.

Mary regained her control. “There is no other man.” Which wasn’t a lie. “I’m just being honest with you. If we are to marry, I don't want to keep any secrets from you.” except that I am in love with someone I can never be with.

Matthew smiled. “Don’t let me ever be a nuisance, Mary.”

She did adore him. She wished she could tell him her feelings for Anna and be his friend, but that would never be an option.

“Don’t worry I will let you know.”

*******

Anna’s day off was incidentally the day Mary would be returning home from her trip from London and she felt guilty not having to be the one to meet her at the entrance. Maybe that was for the better.

The letter she was not supposed to read had been engulfing her entire thoughts to the point she had not watched where she was going a few moments and ran into other servers. What was she supposed to say to her? That she had read the secret letter and yes she loved her as well. She had hoped that she had a wonderful time with Matthew in London and the idea of them would leave Mary’s mind completely.

Her letter was already memorized in her mind however. She now knew that Mary loved her. That wasn’t something that was easily pushed to the side. Oh and she felt the same way.

She eventually rose and dressed in one of her plain dresses and entered the servants hall.

“I’m going to walk the gardens and read, I think today.” She told Ms. Hughes.

The housekeepers nodded. “And you deserve it, thank you so much for your extra help, Anna.” she pressed her hand against her shoulder as as thanks.

****

Mary’s car pulled into the gravel driveway and she exited as the servants unloaded her and her sisters luggage. She pulled off her gloves and walked into the hall to greet her parents.

“Oh my loves how was it!” Her mother kissed them all on the cheek.

“Lovely thank you Mama.” Edith said.

“Did you all find something pretty?”

“We did Mama and I think we will all wear them for dinner, right?” Sibyl said, looking at her sisters.

“I certainly will.” Edith said.

Mary was quiet.

“And how was your dinner with Matthew?” Cora asked

Mary looked up. “It was lovely, Mama.”

Cora smiled and let them go to their rooms. “Well it’s almost time for dinner…. I can’t wait to see your new gowns my dears.”
With that Mary walked up the stairs towards her room and upon the solace of the familiarity of it she closed the door and held her head in her hands to stifle her sobs. She walked over to sit in the chair next to the window and instantly found the blonde walking down the driveway towards the garden. Mary quickly sat up and exited her room to make her way downstairs.

****

It was early in the evening and Anna was walking the grounds and sat on one of the benches that overlooked the long green field leading to the gardens. I have fallen for you in every way kept sifting through her thoughts. She so wanted to see Mary. She wanted to sit here on this bench with her but instead she opened her book and tried to bask in the silence and the breeze that was gently hitting her hair that was only tied in a long tail along her shoulders. She so desperately wanted to have Mary-

“Anna.” Her name.

She turned around on the bench and found Lady Mary walking towards her gleefully.

Anna stood up. “Mlady. You’re back from London.” She said not being able to conceal a smile from her face as well. Mary approached her with a wide grin.

“I am.” She looked at the bench and motioned for Anna to sit as well. “How is your book? What are you reading, tell me.” Mary sounded so eager and excited.

“Oh just something I found in the library to be honest…. Sorry I shouldn’t have borrowed it… it's just a mystery but it's ‘a sort of mystery. Or so the summary says.”

Mary grabbed the book. “ The Harvester. Interesting. An American novel if I’m not mistaken.” Mary placed the book back in Anna’s hands. “What type of books do you usually enjoy?”

Anna couldn’t help but smile wide. Knowing how Mary truly felt about her. “Well … I enjoy poetry the most. However this one really just caught my attention.”

Mary slid closer to her on the bench. The breeze moved both of their hair in such a beautiful way Anna couldn’t help but reach over and grab Mary’s hand and when she did they sat in a comfortable silence. Mary’s eyes glowing like amber in the sunlight.

“Do you have a favorite poet?” Mary asked, tightening her grip on Anna’s hand.

“Oh well…I guess I’m not sure. Maybe Dickinson. T.S. Eliot… I used to really enjoy just sitting outside when I was younger and reading poems in our small garden.” Anna said.

“I’m just glad you didn’t say Shakespeare. I am so tired of him” Her voice transferred into that haughtiness that Anna particularly enjoyed.

“No. Not him m’lady.” Anna said, curling her fingers effortlessly into Mary’s.

Mary placed her hand on Anna’s thigh. “I missed you. I know it’s bold of me to say but-”

“Shhh” Anna said, pulling up her hand to her lips and placing a kiss on it. Mary’s eyes widening in delight. “How was Mr. Matthew?”

At the sound of his name Mary scoffed and started to rub small light circles on the back of Anna’s hand. She tried to gather her thoughts.

“He is such a gentleman it makes me angry.”

They both looked at each other and began to laugh uncontrollably.

“Oh, Mary.” Anna said.

They sat for some time basking in their familiar silence. Soaking in each other's faces, memorizing every single part. Mary’s fingers caressing the top of Anna’s. Anna leaned forward slightly brushing a stray lock behind Mary’s ear.

“You are so tempting my dear.” She said eventually when Anna lifted her head.

“Me?” Anna scoffed.

“Yes you. I want to kiss you.” Mary said without a doubt in her bold tone looking Anna directly in the eyes. “May I kiss you…Please.” She added.

Anna’s eyes answered the question.

Mary leaned in and placed such a delicate and gentle kiss on her mouth it melted Anna. It was so soft until Anna leaned further into it and their mouths were pressed together firmly.

When they finally parted they were both breathing heavily.

Anna was the first to speak.

“Sometimes when you look at me… your eyes are almost black…”

Mary breathed in so close to Anna’s face, “ Are they? It must be because I am enamored with you.”

At that Anna pulled her into her mouth once again. The velvet feel of her lips against hers made her dizzy. It was so delicate she wanted to savour every single moment. Her lips were so warm and small she suddenly started to crave more of Mary. Mary pulled away.

“Anna, I have to tell you something before…I just need you to know….” Looking fully into Anna’s beautiful eyes, “I love you. I think I’ve loved you for such a long time. I started to realize it when the only times I would feel truly happy and…calm was when I would be with you…you quickly started occupying my mind so much…I want to love you fully. As much as we can…but I will of course respect your wishes. I want you to have the best possible life…and I will do whatever it is you want even if it’s not wanting me. I promise you.” Mary ended her speech slightly out of breath with nerves.

Anna looked at her tenderly, her face flushed. “I’m in love with you too, Mary.”

Mary's eyes widened with a sudden hunger and stood up pulling Anna with her and coaxing her gently back against the tree kissing her with such intensity that Anna clutched the front of Mary’s coat letting a rather erotic moan escape. Which only fueled Mary’s desire she slipped her tongue against Anna’s and they both moaned as Mary continued her work before gasping for air. Anna placed her hands around Mary’s face, both of them noticing their pupils were blown. Regaining control of the intoxicating presence of each other their eyes locked. Hooded. Both clearly knew what the other one was thinking. Looking around at the empty garden eased her mind. “We shouldn’t do that again so openly.” Anna said not making an effort to move from the closeness of Mary’s body. Mary finally stepped back.

“No, not openly…” she gave Anna one of her dangerous looks. “Come darling, let's walk back together.”

They walked slowly in silence, almost glowing. Stealing looks and laughing over their new secret.

“One of the first days we met and you had just started here…You made me laugh. A full laugh too, not a polite one. It’s so rare that anyone aside from Sibyl or Granny can do that. That’s when I started…to want you around.” Mary said, smiling at the memory.

“Oh? What was it I did to make you laugh?” Anna asked, looking over at Mary.

Mary started smirking at the memory. “I was asking you how the staff had been treating you…and particularly Mr. Carson and you said, ‘ the angry owl?’ and then apologized but I couldn’t stop laughing.”

“Oh my goodness! I do remember that! Oh I was so embarrassed and relieved you hadn’t fired me on the spot.” Anna said, shaking her head.

“You had such a genuine smile….you laughed with me as if I wasn’t a cold hearted monster…” Mary said. “You always have been able to see through my exterior and you’ve always been on my side and sometimes it felt like you were the only one.”

They stopped walking when Anna discretely held her arm. “I will always be on your side, Mary. You’ve never been a cold hearted monster to me or anyone…”

They continued walking in the comfortable silence.

“It was Christmas, my first year here.” Anna suddenly said.

Mary looked at her quickly.

“When I knew I felt something for you but I couldn’t quite pin it down.”

“What did I do?” Mary asked.

“You just looked at me. You handed me a present like the other staff but…your eyes stayed on me as I took my place in line and the rest of the evening I just kept feeling your gaze on me and when I would look at you…you’d just smile. I was serving that evening and at one point the Dowager said something rather daring to Lady Edith and you and I immediately looked towards one another and then had to look away because we were holding back laughter.” Anna too started to smile and giggle at the memory.

“I remember that and then that evening we couldn’t stop laughing long enough to gather the pins out of my hair.” Mary said her heart fluttered at the memory. “Sibyl told me she knew it was you…when I told her I had fallen in love with someone.”

“How did she know?” Anna asked with some concern.

Mary stopped them again and looked into Anna’s eyes. “Because I am always looking at you.”

Smiling, they continued to fall into each other's eyes, something that was becoming increasingly difficult to come back from.

They reached the house, both of them not wanting to part ways but knew they would have to.

“I shall miss you desperately, but I am glad you are having a break for once.” Mary said.

“A part of my job is touching you…something I’ll never want a break from.” Anna said watching the flush touch Mary’s cheeks.

Clearing her throat she said, “I only want you touching me, Anna…and to be forward…I so long to be able to reciprocate ... .Oh how I wish I could kiss you goodbye...among other things” She whispered. Both of them not wanting any of this to end.

Feeling quite bashful Anna looked to the ground. The sun was minutes away from setting someone would be looking for Mary and also take notice of Anna’s absence. “And what are these other things?” She looked up daringly.

Mary felt that tightness in her abdomen and the rush towards her core, “ Worship you…just to start with. Kiss you for so long…we forget where we even are.” Looking directly into Anna’s eyes Mary had that once again hungry look on her face. “Make you come undone.” She smiled wickedly.

Anna’s middle started to throb as they just continued to see what they desired in each other's eyes.

A clang towards the servants door broke the moment almost luckily before they did anything too rash in such an open setting.

“Enjoy your evening, my darling.” Mary said before turning around having to regain her head before proceeding with the evening. Anna nodded and turned around quickly making her way inside.

Little did they know, The Dowager had been observing them from one of the main halls windows.

*******

Mary was fitted for dinner, but not in the new gown she had acquired per her request. She wanted Anna to see her in it before anyone else.

She made her way towards the library where she joined in on conversion, happy that Matthew was not here for dinner and it was just her immediate family. However, her Grandmother kept looking at her without saying anything. Mary kept glancing at her seeing how her Grandmama smirked.

“Granny, if I have done something, pray tell.” Mary said finally in her dark tone. “I’m not good at playing these mind games as you very well know.”

The Dowager leaned forward on her walking stick. “Oh my dear, Mary. Nobody plays mind games better than I.”

Mary furrowed her eyebrows at her Grandmother's words, “But what does-”

“Shall we go through!” Lord Grantham said as they made their way to the dining room.

Mary was still confused about her grandmother's words and her mind instantly went to Matthew. Had his mother maybe spoken to her about their dinner and her words of doubt? Her stomach churned unpleasantly. Would she be cornered by her and be told, convinced, forced to marry him for the family’s safety when she had just committed to someone she was madly in love with. The mere thought of it caused Mary something she had never even considered. Actually running away with Anna.

“Mary, my dear, sit next to me tonight please.” The Dowager said.

Mary rounded the dining room to sit next to her still befuddled expecting some interrogation.

William and Thomas and Carson entered and began the dinner service and even though Mary knew she wouldn’t be seeing Anna she still looked up hopefully and was also dutifully aware of her grandmother's gaze and Mary shot her a dark look of confusion whereas her grandmother just hummed in some secret satisfaction.

Mary was thoroughly lost in her thoughts when her father addressed her. Gods I already know.

“Mary, I’m having Matthew over in the morning to survey the estate. You’ll accompany us.” He smiled at her.

It wasn’t a question but a command.

Mary didn’t respond.

“Mary? Your Papa is speaking to you?” Cora asked with a hint of concern.

Mary looked up from pointedly staring at her lap. “Yes of course.”

Sibyl growing more worried intervened, “Papa might I come along as well? I’d love to.”

Lord Grantham shook his head as he plated himself dinner from the silver platter William was holding. “Oh my darling don’t bother. It’s all boring for women, I only want Mary to join us to spend more time with her suitor.”

“Robert you haven’t even asked if Mary wants to hear this drabble you speak of that women would not be interested in.” The Dowager said pointedly at her son.

The table’s muttering ceased and all eyes focused on the head of the family.

“Mother, this isn’t the time.” Robert said.

“I don’t see what all the fuss is about this Matthew anyways. What’s so interesting about being a lawyer.” The Dowager said again, testing her son’s patience.

Mary was looking at her sisters. Who both were shocked at their grandmother's words.

“Mother. Like I said. Please.” He was beginning to get frustrated and took a large drink of his wine.

“Oh Robert, maybe having Sibyl join them would help?” Cora said kindly.

Thomas stood behind them watching the interaction dutifully. He could see the pain in Mary’s face and it for some reason made him sad. Why would I be upset over rich folks' pain he thought…but then again… he was almost made to marry a woman he couldn’t love.

“I won’t speak of it any more… Mary, you'll join us in the morning and that’s final.”

The silence was palpable. Even Edith looked at Mary with an apologetic look.

“Yes, Papa.” Mary said quietly.

Conversation resumed when Cora asked her other daughters more about their trip and they both started to get the conversation flowing again. Mary moved her dinner around on her plate with no appetite for anything. Trying to summon any sort of desire for what her family was speaking of was impossible and then she felt her grandmother's hand pat her leg reassuringly. Mary looked at her and her face said it all.

I’m sorry.

After dinner they proceeded to the library again and before Mary reached the entrance she excused herself without explanation.

Her mother and sisters and grandmother were the only ones to watch her quickly ascend up the stairs. She stepped over and pulled the bell for a housemaid to help her undress. Knowing it wouldn’t be Anna made it even worse.

Some kind looking girl greeted her wordlessly and began the process, but when it came to brushing Mary’s hair she stopped her.

“No need I can manage, thank you.” She said politely. The maid exited Mary’s room gathering her dress and hanging it in the wardrobe.

Mary brushed her hair as tears streamed down her face. Had Anna completely dismantled her harsh demeanor? Or was she just simply so in love her heart broke anytime they were separated.
She didn’t even bother braiding her hair and turned off her lights and crawled into her bed clutching a pillow to fully sob.

She didn’t know why she had had any hope for her and Anna earlier. Her father would surely force her to marry. It was her duty as any high born lady. The afternoon with Anna felt a thousand years away from where she was now. She wished she were stronger. So she could force Anna out of her life and her mind and follow her fathers orders.

She couldn’t. She had tried. Maybe they both had. It didn’t matter…she’d rather be banished and ridiculed than marry someone she could not love. However the road towards that was so turbulent and tricky.

Her thoughts immediately went back to Anna. Her face in the flickering sunlight that filtered through the cover of the tree. Her hands clutching her chest desperately.

Saying that she also loved her.

This was the thought that helped her sleep and with that she drifted off as her tears dried on her face. I love you too my darling.

*******

Anna had spent the rest of her day off conversing with her coworkers and spent a good portion of the dinner service sitting on the patio watching the stars come out. The journal she had in her hand long abandoned and her mind too busy replaying the events of the day. How could someone like Mary even love someone like her? The air was cold but it felt refreshing on her when she usually was warm and busy running around in the evening. She wondered how Mary was doing with her dinner and if she missed their secret motions as she poured her wine. She wanted to share so much with her, not only intimacy, but thoughts and stories. What would it be like to wake up in any bed to those brilliantly colored amber eyes looking at her so lovingly as they did today.

The door opened to the courtyard and it was Thomas.

“Thought I’d find you out here.” He said kindly. “How was the rest of your day off?” He sat next to her.

Anna couldn’t contain her smile. “It was lovely.” She leaned back and stretched her legs out crossing her ankles.

“It’s Mary isn’t it?” He said boldly.

Anna looked over at him with her eyes full of a mixture of fear and pleading.

“Yes it is.” She finally decided to trust him.

Thomas lit a cigarette and for once offered Anna one. “Mary was quite upset during dinner.”

This made her sit up instantly. “What? What happened?”

Thomas frowned. “She’s being made to see Mr. Matthew tomorrow morning…Lord Grantham was quite angry. They’re to tour the estate together.”

Anna’s heart plummeted at the idea of Mary being so distraught and also because she couldn’t comfort her in any way. She couldn’t go up to her room and hold her. She couldn’t see her until the morning when she would dress her.

“On second thought, yes, Thomas, I would love a smoke.” Anna held out her hand and Thomas obliged.

“Oh we are deeply in love aren’t we?” He gave her one and pulled out the box of matches and lit it for her as she inhaled and leaned back again. “Anna, I promise to not betray you in any way..”

Anna started smoking, something she never did, but felt at the moment she could use one and maybe a still drink. “If only I had a stiff drink.” She said her thoughts out loud.

At that Thomas stood up and went back inside to Anna’s shock. She waited as she smoked slowly for him to come back if he was ever going to and he did. With a small flask.

“Your wish is my command” He handed her the flask.

“Thomas? Where ever did you get this?” She guffawed.

“How do you think I get through the days?”

They paused and they laughed quietly. “Well. Thank you.” Anna took a small sip from the flask feeling the liquor warm her insides and calmed her mind a bit.

“How else did Mary act during service? Did she say anything?” Anna asked Thomas.

“Lady Sibyl asked Lord Grantham if she could also go on a tour of the grounds…and he said no… he wanted Mary and Matthew to go together without her and then oddly enough the Dowager spoke up and told off her son…was quite a dinner you missed.” He said, grabbing the flask from Anna and taking a larger pull.

Anna shook her head pulling her braid to the side and fiddling with the end only thinking of how Mary would be feeling now. “What did they do after service?”
Thomas handed her the flask again. “Lady Mary left. Went up to her room and one of the new housemaids was told to go up and ready her.” He ashed his cigarette and lighted another one. Anna did the same feeling buzzed of the drink and was desperate for relief from the anxiety. Thomas lit one for her and handed it over.

“Thomas…I know you said you wouldn’t tell but please don’t… I don’t want anything to happen to Mary.”

Thomas looked at her. “What about what would happen to you?”

Anna thought but the answer was already there. “It doesn’t matter.”

They both sat in silence.

“You love her.” He said plainly as asking about the weather.

Anna looked at him with tears filling her eyes. “I do.”

Thomas moved closer to her and clapped a hand on her shoulder and left it there as she fell into her palms trying to hide her tears.

They sat like that for some time.

Chapter Text

Mary woke up earlier than she normally did with her eyes slightly swollen and crusty with tears from the night before. She got out of bed and made her way to her sink washing her face with cold water and rinsing her mouth and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair draped over her shoulders was a mess and the thoughts she couldn’t shake were still apparent in her eyes.

She went and laid back down in her bed knowing it was still too early to ring for Anna. Anna would just be waking up and dressing. She wished she was warm in her bed next to her so she could bask in her beauty. I wager she looks just as beautiful as she is slumbering. Mary thought. She grabbed the book she had started reading before London and forgot about the letter she had written. Maybe she should give that to her and be done with it? She truly felt she was wasting Anna’s life by simply being in love with her.

As time approached she watched the clock adamantly waiting for it to be late enough to ring for her. When it finally did she pulled it with a mixture of misery and excitement. She wanted to rush towards her the instant the door opened.

She sat on the edge of her bed and heard the soft knock and there she was.

They stood still and both of their faces seemed to be in the same state.

Mary stood up and Anna moved towards her.

“My love. Why have you been crying?” Mary traced her fingers along Anna’s face.

Anna tried to put on her best professional face…failing miserably.

“Thomas told me about dinner last night…and how distraught you were and … oh god Mary I spent all night wishing I could comfort you.”

Mary pulled her into her chest. “My love.” She kept whispering into her hair, breathing deeply the heavenly scent. “What did he say?” She asked, pulling away only enough to see Anna’s face.

“Oh that Lord Grantham…was harsh and that you were to accompany him and Mr. Matthew for a walk on the estate…” Anna said, not making eye contact she stepped back from her embrace. “Mary. Please. Don’t let me keep you from what your duties are. I love you. I love you enough to let you go if I need to.” Her eyes welling up with tears which caused Mary to once again start crying.

“My only duty I believe in is to be in love with you forever and live with you forever and take care of you and hold you as I sleep.” Her words became more desperate. “I cannot imagine a greater love than the one I have for you. Please.” She begged.

Anna grabbed her face and kissed her desperately in between her sobs. “Mary.” Is all she said.

Mary grabbed the front of Anna’s uniform and pulled her so close every part of them were touching. The kiss changed and Mary had once again pushed Anna up against the wall touching every part of her she could as Anna started to do the same.

“I love you.” Is all Mary said in between gasps. Her hand drifting down the front of her uniform gracing over her breast and Anna let out a small sigh.

“Please don’t leave me.” Mary said, moving her lips to Anna’s jaw and then her neck. The sounds she was drawing out of Anna only motivated her more. Anna drifted her own hand down Mary’s thin nightgown between her breasts and then grabbed onto her small hips.

“Mary.” Anna said, tracing her lips up and down Mary’s neck. “Mary.”

They stopped. Their chests heaving with the want for more. “Mary, I have to dress you.” Anna whispered her lips so close to Mary’s they were practically touching. Mary stepped back. Her pupils wide- eyes almost black- “I know.”

Anna adjusted her uniform with the very present wetness between her legs.
She gathered Mary’s outfit from the wardrobe and dressed her quickly not wanting to start anything that would lead to that again. She didn’t have the time or the control it seemed.

Once Mary was dressed in a heated silence Anna stepped back as Mary turned towards her.

“I will see you before dinner…mlady.” Anna added with a teasing courtesy.

Mary approached her and gave her a small quick kiss.

“If you don’t I shall come looking for you.”

Anna took one last glance at her and exited the room.

*****

Mary, her father, and of course Matthew toured the grounds talking about the estate. Mary was as polite as ever not wanting to upset her father in this setting.

At one point Matthew grabbed her hand and they walked hand in hand down the grassy path back to the house.

Lord Grantham noticed. “Well. I shall leave you two. Thank you, Matthew.” He tipped his hat and meandered back as Matthew stalled himself next to Mary.

She faced him putting on her best mask. “The grounds are quite expansive. We didn’t even cover half of them. Most of the farms are self sustainable-” Matthew stalled her.

“Mary, I want to marry you.” He said.

Mary’s heart dropped as if she had fallen suddenly towards her demise. “Matthew?” Is all she could say without sounding too dreadful.

“At our dinner in London you said you wanted to be as honest with me and I want to be honest with you…My intentions are clear. I want you to be my wife.” He grasped both of her hands in his.

All of his touches and words made Mary sick to her stomach and she did her best to mask them.

“Matthew…we barely know one another…why can’t we just…court each other and find our footing.” She tugged her hands out of his grasp with a smile.

Matthew smiled. He was so kind, polite and handsome. “If that is what you want. I shall wait for you.” He picked up one of her hands and placed a kiss on it.

“Can I ask one thing before we walk back?”

Mary was trying with such difficulty to not run and have the repulsed emotion form on her face. For one he didn’t deserve that and for another she only desired one person.

“What is it then?” She said in her dark voice.

Matthew grimaced with a twinkle in his eyes. “Can I give you a kiss?”

Mary’s heart plummeted further. Having just spent her morning with her mouth on Anna’s and not wanting to lose the trace of her skin on her lips. It’s just one kiss Mary. Just until you figure out how to navigate this.

“I suppose. But a quick one.” She shrugged.

He leaned in and their lips met.

Mary’s face was struggling to not contort into something of disgust and she kissed him back, breaking away as quickly as she could.

“Don’t be more daring. Papa wouldn’t allow it.” She added looking directly at the ground.

Matthew smiled. “I’ll savor this one as much as I can then.”

He grabbed her hand and led them back to the house with more casual conversation. Mary had never felt more trapped. She felt for a moment she could simply tell him that she was in love with someone else but that would cascade into who it was and her parents would ask questions…Anna would have to leave.

When they reached the doors Matthew opened them for her and she escorted him to the foyer.

“I look forward to our next meeting, Mary.” Matthew said as he was helped with his coat and hat.

Mary smiled dutifully. “I as well.”

***

The evening seemed to come sooner than Anna expected and in the middle of her dinner the bell rang for Mary’s room.

Thomas gave her a knowing look. Don’t give yourself away.

“Why on earth would I be called so early?” She said giving the best impression of annoyance she could summon.

“Anna!” Ms. Hughes said, correcting her. “Go up and attend to the Lady, it is not our place to question.”

“Do not make me disappointed in you, Anna.” Mr. Carson added.

Anna once again decided to try and throw them off. “I should be allowed to have dinner without interruption is all Mr. Carson.” She stood up setting her napkin on her plate and pushed her chair in looking down.

“Yes, Anna, do your duties.” Thomas said as the rest of the servants looked apologetically at her.

“My apologies Carson. Ms. Hughes.” She nodded to them both before exiting the servants hall and making her way towards Lady Mary’s bedroom.

The trek there was quite a hike, Anna had never pondered it before.

She knocked gently before entering her bedroom and before the door was even shut Mary’s mouth was on hers. She matched her intensity grabbing Mary’s neck pulling her further into her mouth.

Mary let up a little softening the kiss holding Anna around her waist. Kissing her cheek and then her neck and once again back to her mouth.

Anna sighed in pleasure. “Mary.” Is all she could muster.

“Shh..” Mary said, locking her door, resuming the well deserved work on her neck and kissing her hair and grabbing at anything she could find.

Anna fell into her spell and just held onto Mary’s sides gripping harder the more intense the kisses became before Mary cupped one of her breasts and squeezed with a desperation that sent Anna’s mind into such a dizzy she decided herself she would be more dominant and lead Mary to the other side of her room around the small doorway that led where the counter was for her sink not releasing her mouth or grip on her body. The built up tension between them becoming paramount.

They continued kissing and breathing heavily when Mary flipped Anna so she was pressed up against the marble countertop and with not so much difficulty coerced her to sit on it while she pressed a hand on her thigh gripping it tightly while unbuttoning the top of her dress she pulled it apart with a small grunt and moved Anna’s shift to the side and covered her breast with her mouth.

Anna leaned her back and exhaled such a loud moan that she couldn’t stifle, Mary continued her work before moving to the other one circling her tongue across her nipple wanting to draw out more sounds and when Anna went to cover her mouth with her hand Mary pulled it down harshly.

“No. Moan for me.” She said muffled.

“Mary…Oh god…” She started to lose all senses as she felt Mary’s hand pull her garments off so she could touch her core and when she reached it she lifted her face up to hers with such a hunger in her eyes Anna almost came.

“I said I wanted to make you come undone…let me…” Mary whispered into her ear, starting to move her fingers quicker and quicker.

Anna had no control over what was happening, her ecstasy too blissful. “I’ll do whatever you want me to, Mary.” Anna's eyes shut and she started to breath fast with trails of moans escaping her mouth which only further encouraged Mary’s hand moving her wetness around as her hand grabbed one of Anna’s breasts tightly causing her to once again try and quiet her increasingly frequent moans.

“I want to hear you…please…” Mary started begging.

Anna obliged without any control over it and pulled herself into Mary’s chocolate hair, gasping into her ear with deep sounds and then high pitched ones that caused Mary to moan as well.

Mary moved her palm over her center and breathed heavily into Anna’s ear. “I have wanted you for so long…”

Anna’s breathing was so erratic she grabbed Mary’s back so strongly she thought she might have made marks. “Mary…please.” She started begging for a release which further aroused Mary.

Mary quickened her motions and moved her body so close to Anna she could breath in her moans.

“Anna come undone for me…”

At those words Anna gripped Mary so tightly as she climaxed and let out such a guttural cry into her hair she could only say, “Mary…”

Mary slowed her palm and brought her hand to Anna’s waist kissing her languidly as Anna was washed in the after flow of her orgasm.

She looked at her, finally opening her eyes, pulling Mary’s face close, resting her forehead onto hers.

She laughed slightly. “Whatever was this for…” Her chest still heaving in and out.

Mary kissed the side of her face and helped her off the counter watching as Anna adjusted her garments and helped her button the front of her uniform again. Her face so flushed almost made Mary want to repeat the act all over again.

“I wanted to.” Is all she said and pulled Anna into her arms who was so relaxed and shocked she just leaned into her. “I have wanted to touch you for long… and today just… I wanted to so badly, my love.”

Anna tilted her head up. “If only we had time for me to do the same for you…”

Mary’s arousal was so intense she could feel her dampness on her inner thighs. “I hope soon we can repeat this…Oh I want you in my arms…under the covers warm and basking against me.” she smoothed Anna’s hair.

Anna’s eyes closed slightly. “I have ideas of how to make you come undone as well.” She looked up mischievously.

“Someday I’ll find some way for you to sleep with me in my bed.” She took her hand and led her back into the bedroom. “However, I don't think we’ll get much sleep done.”

“I …oh….I have to dress you…” Anna was still recovering and she walked towards the wardrobe to pull out the dress that had been sent up earlier. “ Stand still, why don’t you.” She breathed out with a glimmer in her eyes of delight.

“Yes, my love.” Mary said in an arrogant voice. “Do promise I can repeat that soon.”

Anna pulled off her top to begin dressing her. “Oh my.”

Mary turned towards her. “What?”

“I seemed to have…scratched you. I am so sorry.” she lightly brushed her hand over the red marks.

Mary turned around to see them in the mirror and smiled. “A job well done I see.”

“I am so sorry.” Was all Anna could say as she gently kissed the marks.

“That I made you feel so good you had to mark me as your own? Dear me, however, will I recover.” Mary said in her aristocratic tone.

Anna swatted her shoulder, “Mary what has gotten into you?” She laughed.

“You my darling, you have.”

She finished Mary’s hair still glowing and ….damp by simply touching her.

“I better head down…I’ll see you after dinner.”

Before she could turn around to leave Mary kissed her moving her tongue into her mouth which was reciprocated. Mary was still highly aroused without having any release.

“I will be thinking of nothing but the sounds you made.”

Anna smirked. “One’s I will be making you soon have..”

Mary raised an eyebrow, “Oh soon. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

At that Anna backed her way towards the door and left noting that no other servants were in the hallway, however she passed Lady Edith and Lady Sibyl as she made her way towards the servants door.

She finally was at the bottom of the stairs to the servants hall when Ms. Hughes approached her. Anna immediately stiffened like she was found out.

“Oh Anna I am so sorry to ask this of you once again, but would you mind terribly serving again this evening. We sent William home…as his mother is ill and most likely passing soon.” She knelt her head down.

The news made Anna genuinely sad. “Oh I am so sorry to hear that…of course I do not mind…” However, seeing Mary so quickly after having such an intimate moment with her also made her uneasy. How could she compose herself when all she wanted to do was press her onto the table and lower her mouth to her-

“Thomas, Anna will most fortunately for us be helping out once again this evening as William is away.” Ms.Hughes said.

Thomas smiled widely trying to conceal it. “Most fortunate for us indeed thank you, Anna.” He said, almost winking at her.

Anna was so flustered with trying to regain some semblance of control she suddenly was in the servants corner holding the craft of wine shaking with nervous excitement and unable to control her thoughts.

“Anna. Just look at the floor.” Thomas whispered, acknowledging her nerves not knowing what had just recently taken place.

Anna gave him a stern look. “I’m fine, Thomas.” She said and before she could finish the sentence her face gave her away almost completely.

“Oh I see why you were summoned so early.” He lifted the tray and carried it into the dining room and Anna followed by setting the wine on the table as she had done so many times waiting for the family to all filter in.

She did, however, what Thomas had suggested and looked down as they began to sit, not daring to make any eye contact with Mary but forces beyond her control made her look up and immediately saw Mary’s dark eyes lock with hers with that still hungry look. Like someone stalking their prey before she breathed deeply and focused on something different.

Anna started to make her way around the table starting with the Dowager as she had so many other times, however, she felt a different look from her that wasn’t questioning why she was there but something else.

“William is with his mother as she passes. He left this afternoon.” Sibyl said solemnly to explain why Anna was once again in the dining room.

“Oh the poor lad.” Lord Grantham thanked Anna with a small nod. “Carson, do send him our condolences when he returns please.”

“Of course, your lordship.” Carson said as Thomas started to follow behind Anna.

Mary was sat next to Sibyl again who kept a keen eye on her. She knew that Sibyl knew of her and Mary’s secret relationship, and to be honest if it were to be anyone she felt safe that it was her.

Anna approached Sibyl.

“Thank you, Anna.” She said, barely concealing her smile.

Anna couldn’t do anything other than nod. The rest of the family was talking which helped as she knelt down and poured Mary’s glass when she said almost inaudibly, “I expect what you promised.”

At the words Anna almost spilled the wine before recovering and moving to Lord Grantham’s glass who took no notice of Mary’s words. She stepped back again, turning her back to the family and placed the craft of wine on the table and exited the dining room to grab the one for the main course feeling the fluttering in her abdomen.
****

Mary pressed her dress down noting that she was still enormously aroused but had to push it down before dinner.

She met her sisters in the foyer and they gathered with their parents and grandmother in the library.

Mary sat down with the glass of dark liquor in her hand. She quickly drank trying to dampen the thoughts of what she had just done… and what she wanted to do more of.

“Mary.”

She turned her head towards the sound of her name that was spoken by her grandmother.

“Yes grandmama?” She said in her most posh accent she could muster shaking the inappropriate thoughts from her mind.

“You seem very distracted, do you care to tell me?”

The question coming from her grandmother threw her off. “Why do I seem distracted?” Is the only quick response she could muster.

The Dowager hummed an annoyance. “My dear do not think you could ever lie to me. You can with everyone else, but not with me.”

Mary looked down at her glass and then back up to her grandmother, “I am just distracted with life to put it simply.” She smiled and once again took another drink.

The Dowager once again hummed. “Is all this distraction from life causing you to actually drink your brandy for once or is it from some other forces that do not concern the man you so unwillingly met today.”

Mary’s eyes widened and didn’t have a response ready. She stammered. “I… Grandmama I’m simply…”

“Oh yes. Simply distracted.” She said standing up. “Is it time for us to go in?”

At that the family traipsed into the dining room as Carson stood at his usual spot near the service station and upon sitting down, at her preferred spot next to Sibyl she saw her.

An explicit word came to mind.

She immediately placed her napkin in her lap and avoided eye contact as best she could. All that came to mind was her tearing her uniform off earlier and the sounds she made against her body as she came-

“William is with his mother as she passes. He left this afternoon to be with her.” Sibyl said to the room.

They gave their condolences.

Her father said his as well and then the dinner commenced. Her eyes so trained to watch Anna she had such a hard time focusing them on anything else that Sibyl put her hand softly on her knee to steady her. Mary looked at her lovingly, mouthing a thank you.

She watched as Anna circled the table remembering her sounds. Also noting to herself to tell her how adorable she looked in her uniform. She so wanted to tear it off completely and flush their bodies together and-

And she was there so close to her and she wasn’t able to pull her in for a kiss or brush her lips across her skin… she took note of the conversation being loud enough for her to barely whisper to Anna.

“ I expect what you promised.”

She saw Anna’s hand shake slightly as she proceeded down the table.

At their interaction Mary also was aware that her grandmother's eyes were ever so locked into her for some reason. Did she know? Oh but how could she? She was so good at hiding any emotions at all especially when it came to her and her family. She tried to rid that sort of worry from her thoughts.

****

Dinner service went as expected and Anna sat down at the servants hall drinking some tea harnessing more energy and any semblance of control she would have when she would ultimately see Mary soon.

“Care for a break?” Thomas said to her gesturing they go to the courtyard that had become their solace.

She smiled. “I’d love one to be honest.” She stood up and abandoned her tea. “Only if you have your flask.” She whispered the last part looking around as to make sure nobody heard her.

Thomas winked and pulled it out and once again nodded at the door.

She followed him outside feeling the refreshing cold air against her hot skin. Warm for so many reasons.
“So…” He lit a cigarette and offered it to Anna who took it without hesitation. “Whatever happened between the two of you.”

Anna couldn’t even find the energy to conceal her delight. “Oh nothing too much…just this and that I suppose…” She inhaled and grabbed the flask from his hands as he looked flabbergasted.

“Oh just this and that? Not much than.”

They both laughed.

“Thomas I cannot even tell you without getting a shade of red I wouldn’t recover from.” Anna said handing off the cigarette to him and taking a very small pull from the flask.

“Well well well who is the little minx now.” He said grabbing the smoke and taking a large inhale of it offering it back to Anna who declined it.

“I think I am nearing some dark waters that I cannot come back from.” She said.

Thomas took these words into consideration.

“You mean you cannot help but give in.”

She looked at him taking another small sip from the flask. “Yes.”

They sat in silence again staring upwards at the clear sky when the hallboy opened the door and summoned them back inside.

“Well now is your chance I guess, Anna.” He said pushing the smoke into the ashtray and placing the flask back into his pocket. “Whatever you choose to do just know…this type of…love is never easy.”

Anna straightened the bottom of her uniform while standing. “I know. But I would rather have it than live knowing I would never be loved this way again.”

***

Mary was waiting in her bedroom with such anticipation she couldn’t help but pace back and forth when Anna entered.

They stood silently watching one another when Anna locked the door on her own accord and approached Mary. Her eyes full of a desire Mary had never seen before it caused her to stay still waiting for Anna to make the first move.

Mary started to breath heavily and said, “Anna I know what I said to you at dinner but you don’t have-”

Anna placed such a deep kiss on her lips Mary hummed into her mouth. “I always keep my promises, Mary.” and she started pulling at the clasps on the back of Mary’s dress and the kisses she traced behind were followed by small bites as if she were so desperate for the taste of her skin. The sensation caused such a deep throb in Mary’s groin she had to place a hand over her stomach to steady herself.

“Anna-”

“Mary…” She pulled the dress down and when she picked Mary’s legs up to step out of it she kissed her inner thigh with a salivating mouth moving her hands up and down her legs kissing the other thigh listening to Mary’s barely concealed low hums mixing with her heavy breathing.

Anna stood up and unlaced the corset and moved one of her hands slowly towards Mary’s warming center aware of how wet she was becoming she tossed the corset to the ground and pushed her back to her vanity doing the same as Mary had done earlier and coaxer her up on the table. Mary’s eyes were so hooded she tried to pull Anna in for a kiss but could barely catch her breath.

Anna leaned in and bit Mary’s bottom lip before moving to her neck and moving her shift down so she could trail more wet kisses before placing her mouth fully over Mary’s breast which caused her to let out a louder sound than she expected.

Mary’s hands both bracing the table she was sitting on with one of her legs wrapped around Anna she finally regained some control and pulled Anna in for a kiss that was so erotic Anna too started gasping. Their mouths hanging open against each other before clashing them together with deep groans and noises that felt so sacred.

Anna quickly plunged her hand towards Mary’s wetness and circled her thumb around slowly going back and forth between soft touches to ones that craved to tempt the sounds she wanted to hear out of Mary’s mouth.

Mary clutched Anna’s face towards her forehead and started panting when Anna pressed two fingers inside her which caused her eyes to open and her mouth to let such a loud shocking sound like she had stepped into cold water.

Anna’s face however was furrowed placing her mouth on any part of Mary’s she could pushing her fingers as deep as she could to draw out the sounds she so had wanted her to make. Circling her thumb at the same time Mary’s breathing became so erratic she leaned into Anna’s shoulder and bit down to stifle them which only furthered Anna’s actions curling her fingers up in such a way Mary almost felt blind with pleasure.

“Anna.” She panted in her ear over and over again. Her voice failing, Anna could tell her climax was soon and moved her thumb away and cupped her palm against her. Her motions faster which started to make Mary’s legs shake and she started to come undone a high pitched noise Anna had never heard escaped Mary’s lips and beyond circumstances she cried out loudly mouth open over Anna's, she came hard. Pushing her hips so Anna’s hand was pressed so tightly in her and on her her head fell back and Anna took that opportunity to put her mouth on her neck helping her ride out her orgasm.

Slowing her motions she pulled away from Mary and simply held her steady as she was so dizzy her eyes were still shut.

“Oh…You do keep your promises don’t you?’ Mary said finally lifting her sweating face to Anna’s who was also dewy with perspiration.

“If we had the time I’d have done more.” Her blue eyes were a dark shade Mary had never seen.

Helping Mary off the table and pulling up her garments she pulled her into her arms and kissed her hair softly.

“I shall be craving that every single day I fear.” Mary said, pulling Anna’s hand into hers linking their fingers which were slick with her own wetness. “I don’t ever want that with anyone else.”

Anna had a possessive look in her eyes. “I don’t want anyone to ever have that with you. Only me..” She leaned in and kissed her slowly before coming back to her senses.

“My love, I must go.” She said noting that she had spent well past the time she normally would have changed Mary for bed.

“Someday I’ll find a way we can sleep together and awake together.” Mary kissed her hands.

“Until then.” Anna finally extracted herself from her lover's arms and kissed her one last time before quickly leaving before she could be delayed anymore.

Mary watched her go, still flustered with the most erotic moment of her life she made her way to her bed and shuffled under the covers still buzzing with the events that had just taken place. “Goodnight my love.” She said into her pillow and drifted off into a blissful sleep.

Chapter Text

Anna awoke the next morning with the same knock on her door as herself and Gwen readied themselves. Anna pulling her long hair up with flashes of the evening's events in her mind. Mary’s mouth gaping open over hers the sounds she made. The sounds she had made…the feel of how soft she was when she entered her-

“Anna you’re so distracted lately whatever is it? Who's the man, just tell me.” Gwen smiled.

Anna was startled by this instantly blushed. “I promise you there is no man.”

“Than why are you so utterly goosed all the time? It’s like you’re in a daze sometimes I swear.” Gwen finished pulling her apron on and looked at Anna trying to decipher any answer to her questions.

“Gwen, please stop asking silly questions. When would I ever have the time to fancy someone nevertheless see them.” Anna gave her the best stern look she could muster.

Gwen considered this. “I suppose…” She still wasn’t convinced.

“Let's go down already then.” Anna left their dorm and started their work on the library and great hall.

Whatever could this even become. I’m Mary’s lady’s maid and we have to secretly find moments to love each other? At that thought Mary filled her mind. Her beautiful face that she felt unworthy to even kiss. How her eyes turned to amber when any sunlight hit them. Her long porcelain arms that draped over Anna’s neck when they kissed. Oh, what if someday they could dance together. Walk together again in the gardens. Hold hands. The simplest acts of intimacy. What if she could pull Mary into her arms whenever she wanted.

She was lost in her thoughts when she made her way to the dining hall…Mary was to marry Matthew. Lord Grantham would make sure of it…her heart suddenly dropped into her stomach. She suddenly had that feeling again…that she shouldn’t be in this type of relationship with Mary…keeping her from her potential. Keeping her from what she was supposed to be…not being with some low born maid.

The thought made her incredibly sad.

She sat in the servants hall with the unmistakable feeling of knowing she were to see Mary soon. She loved talking with her about anything…

“Anna.” Thomas sat across from her looking concerned. “Alright then?”

Anna smiled.

“Oh. Well then.” He raised his eyebrows in a knowing way. “It’s nice to see you so happy.” He said genuinely.

“Well…it’s not easy but yes at the moment if I somehow not think of how ridiculous this is I do feel happy, but there’s no way it could-”

They stood up as Mr.Carson entered the hall. “William sent a telegram…his mother has passed…him and his father are preparing for her funeral.”

Anna knelt her head down. “Bless him I am so sorry to hear that…” she knew this would mean she would once again be serving this evening which she had grown to enjoy, but also knew it came with a sort of torment for her and Mary as well.

With that thought the bell rang for her.

“And they’re off.” Thomas said, nodding at her.

Mr. Carson stopped her before she left,”I’m sure you know this means you will once again be helping with the dinner service, Anna….and I am sorry I have asked Ms. Hughes if you can be given an extra day off this week to compensate.” He smiled at her.

“It’s not a problem Mr. Carson and I appreciate that I do.”

“Alright up you go.” He nodded towards the stairs and she went.

****

Mary was doing some of her morning rituals when she heard Anna enter. Both of their eyes softened at the site of one another.

“My darling.” Mary said, holding out her hand for Anna who walked across the room and placed the gown on the bed and grabbed her hand and was pulled into a soft embrace she inhaled Mary’s scent deeply nestling into her neck.

Mary held her and drew small circles on her back kissing her blonde hair and inhaling it in as well. Pulling one of Anna’s hands into hers. She was suddenly reminded of something.

“Oh I plan on asking Papa about additional bedding for you. Well, for all of you, but mainly for you…I hope that’s not overstepping any boundaries my love…If it were up to me I’d have you in my arms as you slept.” Mary kissed the small crook next to her eyes.

“Oh Mary, you don’t have to bother with all that.” Anna melted into her kisses but also knew the door was unlocked. “Come now. Let me get you dressed.” She said pulling away.

“Oh but I do have to bother about it. I can’t have the love of my life being cold as she sleeps.” She said as if it were discussing something so simple. Anna stopped her motions and Mary turned towards her.

“I am the love of your life, Mary?” Anna whispered.

Mary suddenly realized that the words she hadn’t meant to say escaped her mouth and stammered slightly. “Oh well…I am sorry…I hadn’t meant to say that to you I just…I don’t…That is how I feel, however you do not have to feel the same way towards me. Having you love me as you do is simply enough for me my darling.” She traced one of her long fingers along Anna’s jaw.

Anna pulled the dress over Mary’s body and they continued in a pressured silence and once Mary was fitted Anna lifted her chin up so their eyes met. “You’re the love of my life, Mary.” She said so softly it made Mary relax. “So much that I would do whatever you needed of me.”

Mary sighed. “Oh, Anna… I would do anything you asked of me.” She reached up to her face, “I have never wanted more than I want you my love.”

They stood closely enamored in one another's eyes and Anna placed a kiss on Mary’s palm before lowering it to sit her down and fix her hair.

Anna began brushing it and folding the long locks up as she had done for years. Taking extra care to lean down and kiss the side of her face when she dared which made Mary smile and giggle.

Mary’s door opened and Anna quickly resumed her work without showing any sign of affection on her face, however she could see the annoyance in Mary’s face hardening at the sight of someone intruding on their time.

“Good morning my dear. I am sorry to bother you before breakfast.” Lady Cora said, smiling nodding politely at Anna who finished pinning Mary’s hair delicately up. “Anna, would you mind leaving us please.” She smiled. “I need a moment with Mary.”

Anna nodded her head and gathered Mary’s night clothes not daring to find her gaze.

Mary turned around rather annoyed. “Oh what is it mama?” She stood up looking at her mother with a hidden disdain.

“Mary…you will wed Matthew. I know he proposed.”

Mary’s stomach turned and her heart pounded.

“When I first married your father we were not in love…but we soon learned to love and now I love him dearly…you need to do the same. I’m having him over for dinner tonight again…Mary he is such a kind man I hope you can see that.” She finished standing up.

Mary was speechless trying to avoid this entire engagement and was proving to be something she would not be able to. “And what if I refuse?’ She said with a veiled anger.

“You won't.” Cora said rather sternly and gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “I shall see you downstairs.”

Mary stood in the middle of her bedroom as the deepest form of sadness filled her.

****

Anna did her work like she had done as always. Today her and Gwen were working in the foyer mostly which was a herculean task as there were so many different things to be completed. They talked as they worked and Anna tried to hide the smile that crept on her face whenever she heard, “you are the love of my life” from Mary replayed in her mind.

The bell for the door rang and Anna saw Mr.Carson open it and welcomed Mr.Matthew into the hall. The sight of him made Anna feel even more possessive of Mary. She is mine and with that thought there she was. Walking down the stairs with her face grave with that look Anna had not witnessed in some time. The one that would lash out easily at anyone who crossed her.

Mary quickly glanced at Anna who immediately could tell something was wrong. Mary’s face was dampened with tears recently shed and her lips pressed together tightly and her eyes fierce. She quickly looked away from Anna.

Anna started to focus on her task when Lord Grantham entered the hall greeting Matthew jovially. “Matthew, so good to see you.” he shook the young man's hand.

Anna had to admit. For not having any attraction towards men, he was quite handsome and every interaction she had with him was nothing but kindness. However, she couldn’t help but feel jealous that he could so easily possess the woman she loved and not her.

“Mary.” He said leaning forward and kissed her quickly on the mouth. The site made Anna angry and she had to calm herself, turning her back away from the conversation which echoed throughout the large hall.

“Mary my dear, invite your fiance in.” Lord Grantham said.

Anna stilled in her cleaning and couldn’t help but look over at the conversations happening at the entrance.

“Oh Papa I haven’t even accepted yet…I have told Matthew…”

“That you have accepted of course.” Lord Grantham ushered Matthew further into the house and as Matthew passed Anna he nodded a hello.

Mary was left standing alone as the front doors were shut. It took everything she had to not go over and comfort her and hold her and when Mary finally lifted her head back to her ornery demeanor her eyes met Anna’s and immediately softened.

“Mary!” Her father called for her and she walked towards Anna with a soft brush of a hand against her arm. Which did not go unnoticed by Gwen.

Anna could barely register what she had witnessed. Had Mary accepted Matthew and not told her? Why would she not tell her? She would never want to ever cause such disruption to Mary’s life however the past few day’s…from what she had heard…Mary was in love with only one person and that was her.

“Anna.” Gwen stood and walked towards her. “We should go down for lunch…” Her voice was soft.

Anna turned towards her. “Of course.” Her voice cracked slightly.

Gwen’s eyes seemed to be piecing together who the person was that Anna had been so engulfed with as of late. “Why don’t we take a break?” She pulled Anna towards the servants doors towards the dormitories. Anna, not saying a word nodded and followed.

Reaching their room Gwen sat down on her bed opposite Anna’s. Waiting for the silence to relax.

“I don’t understand it fully…but I think I now know.” Is all Gwen said trying to catch Anna’s eyes. “Anna?”

At that Anna pulled a hand over her mouth and started sobbing. Gwen quickly sat next to her and pulled her into a hug. “Oh dear.” She said with a quiet “shh.” at each sob.

“Gwen…Please don’t…Please…” Is all she managed.

Gwen still held her as she cried and as confused as she was about the idea of that ... .her heart ached for Anna’s who was breaking.

“I won't, I promise…does…does anyone else know?” She asked.

“Only two people.” Anna sat up straighter and Gwen handed her a handkerchief.

“Well now three.” She added with a slight laugh. “What did you think would happen from it anyways? Does Lady…does she…feel the same?”

“I’m not sure anymore.”

At that the whole idea of her and Mary crumbled and it broke her heart even more. How stupid had she been? Imagining a life with her like that. Some highborn Lady made to marry some highborn man for the family. Anna was just a low born maid who happened to fall in love with the wrong person. Thomas was right, this type of love was hard.

Anna simply shook her head. “We should go back, else someone will look for us and I’d rather not be found in this state.” She stood up and walked towards the door. “I would really appreciate your discretion, Gwen…please…not for me but for her.” Anna’s glossy eyes pleading.

Gwen also stood up. “Anna I would never.”

Anna nodded a silent thank you and they left to finish their daily tasks.

****

Mary was walking with Matthew once again in the gardens.

“Your father seems to be under the idea that you have accepted my proposal.” Matthew said.

Mary, who was so distracted with a myriad of thoughts, looked at him. “Yes he does.”

“And?” Matthew asked, smiling at her. “Mary, I feel we could make a wonderful life together.” He stopped her from walking holding her hands.

The feeling of his fingers with hers made her so incredibly sad it was hard to push it down and bring her mask fully back.

“Please. Would you be my wife?” Matthew knelt down on one knee.

Mary’s facial expression was so placid. I don’t have a choice anymore. I will never be with Anna.

“Yes.” she said and her heart was so broken when Matthew pulled her into a hug she had to hold back a sob.

“Oh Mary, you've made me very happy.”

And with strength she didn't know she possessed, smiled back. “As you have I.”
Matthew took hold of Mary’s hand and led them back to the house. Mary was numb and felt as if her life was spiraling out of her control. She started imagining her packing a bag and taking Anna with her…somewhere else. Maybe to America to live with her Grandmother. Why had she said yes? Why didn’t she prolong it further?

They reached the library and incidentally as they sat down with her father and mother and sisters the maids entered.

“Oh I am sorry, My Lord we’ll come back another time.” Gwen said.

“Nonsense, you aren’t bother us in the slightest.” He said.

Gwen and Anna proceeded to the far side of the room continuing their cleaning.

Anna held her head down and worked almost fervently. With the same thought running through her mind. She’s mine. She is mine. I love her.

Matthew smiled at all of them as he sat down next to Mary. “Well we have an announcement. We are engaged.”

Cora, Lady Edith, and Lord Grantham rejoiced.

“My darling daughter, congratulations!” Cora kissed her cheek.

“You shall stay for dinner of course, Matthew.” He said.

“I am incredibly happy and thank you. I would love to.” He grabbed Mary’s hand again in delight. Mary wasn’t sure where she was harnessing this falcity from, but she was doing such a good job until she saw Anna across the room. Their eyes locked. Anna’s eyes so sad it made Mary’s heart drop even further than it already was.

Anna left and Mary felt so alone and scared. Her family talking around her, she quietly excused herself with ease.

Walking out into the foyer she searched for Anna. She couldn’t have gone far; she walked towards one of the servants' doors hidden off the side and took the steps up lifting her skirt as she went desperate to find Anna.

At the top of the quarters she raced down the hallway looking at the name tags on each door finally seeing the one for Anna and Gwen’s room. She opened it without knocking to find Anna standing in the middle of the room holding her middle and crying so hard she was gasping for breath.

“Anna” Mary approached her and Anna held out an arm which caused Mary to tear up and start to cry as well. “Anna… please…” She said, trying to find her breath.

“Mary. I shall put in my notice…I should have never let it go this far. Someone like me could never be with someone like you…regardless…of…” She looked up at Mary’s face.

“I don’t know what to do!” She pleaded. “I don’t know what to do, Anna. What can we do? Please talk to me! Please don’t leave…please don’t leave.” Her voice raised, pleading with her in a way Anna had never heard.

Anna who so desperately wanted to hold her knew she needed to not touch her for fear it would cause her to lose her resolve. “You need to leave.” She said turning away from her. “I’ll have Gwen dress you and…until I can find some place to go…We can’t see each other anymore.” Anna said in such a disdain she was shocked she had it in her as she turned back towards Mary.

Mary cried into her hand taking deep shaky breaths. “Anna…”

“My Lady please.” Anna looked so miserable. “I am just your maid.”

Mary’s eyes were cascading tears down her beautiful skin. Her brown eyes were so glossy she had to keep wiping them. “You're Not…you’re the love of my life.”

Anna looked at her sternly. “No. You will marry Matthew and live happily with him. You need not think of me any more…now…Please Mary…please leave.” She started begging.

Mary could barely contain her cries and only when she backed herself against the door did she take one final look at Anna.

“You will always…be the love of my life… and you will always be the first thought of my mornings and nights, Anna my love.”

Anna nodded, tears streaming down her face. “As you are mine.”

Mary took all the courage she had and left Anna and as she walked down the hallway with a sorrow so deep she passed several servants and didn’t even bother to contain herself she even roughly pushed one to the side so she could leave quicker.

*****

A small knock on Anna’s door was followed by Thomas. Who had been pushed to the side by Lady Mary, not someone he would ever have expected up in their dormitories.

“Anna…”He approached her quietly as she stood in the middle of her room crying so fiercely she was having trouble getting a breath in. “Anna…” He pulled her arms that were holding herself so tightly apart and pulled her into an embrace. “Shhh….okay….shhh…it’s okay…” She started crying harder and rather strongly pressed a fist against his chest. “It’s okay…shhh…”

She started to regain control…her eyes so swollen she never knew how she’d ever be able to serve dinner tonight… hoping that Gwen would be able to dress Mary. She didn’t think she could stand the sight of her without being completely engulfed with this profound sadness she had no idea how to navigate.

“Oh Thomas…” She said pulling away. Thomas went over to the wash bin and rinsed a towel in cold water and handed it to her for her face. “You were right…” The words made his heart break.

“I am sorry, Anna.” Is all he said grabbing the cloth and pressing against the sides of her face.

“Gwen knows.” She said in a raspy voice.

Thomas nodded and at the mention of Gwen she opened the door with a downcast face, her eyes sad.

“Anna…It’s time to dress for dinner service….I… told Ms. Hughes I would be dressing Lady Mary as you are serving this evening and she agreed.” She said.

Thomas pulled away and clasped Anna’s shoulders. “Right then. First step. Get through the evening right?’ He smirked. Anna looked at him and laughed slightly.

“Yes…I can do that…gods what a mess I am…”

“I’m sure Gwen can help you with that.” He turned and nodded at Gwen and left the room.

Gwen approached Anna, “Alright give me that towel and we’ll get your eyes right not to worry…”

*****

Gwen opened Lady Mary’s bedroom door and found her sitting listlessly at her vanity. “M’lady.” she said and Mary stood not very shocked at seeing it was not Anna.

She turned around as if a puppet was on display as Gwen helped her put her evening gown on. When Gwen unbraided her hair and started to pin it up she stopped her.

“No….I can do this ... .thank you Gwen.” Her voice deep and heavy.

Gwen looked at her quietly and nodded as she exited the room.

Mary looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair fully down. She had no desire to have anyone else touch it. She pulled a small clip over one side and pushed in a beret over it leaving her hair fully draped over her shoulders. Something she would sure get scorned for. Her eyes looked almost vacant when she saw herself in the mirror. She stood up solemnly and exited her room towards the stairs meeting her sisters in the hallway.

“Has your maid forgotten to finish your hair, Mary? It looks god awful.” Edith said.

“No. She hasn’t.” Mary said.

“I think you look beautiful.” Sibyl said knowing what had transpired that day. “You have such beautiful hair, it should be down more often.

“Mama and Papa won't like it.” Edith said.

At those words Mary’s fire ignited finally. “Be damned whatever the hell they think.” And she pushed past her sisters and moved quickly down the stairs to the library where she was met with curious gazes but sat dutifully next to her now fiance grabbing the glass of brandy her father offered her.

Her grandmother’s eyes were weepy as well, watching Mary as she tried to focus on the conversation but was more or less staring at the carpet.

“Mary.” She finally said bringing her back.

Mary looked at her grandmother whose face was so full of concern it made her heart ache even more. She leaned across the sofa and grasped her hand tightly.

“Well this is an evening to celebrate!” Lord Grantham said, ushering them into the dining room. Matthew grabbed Mary’s arm and led her in. She smiled dutifully at him with strength she didn’t even know she had left.

Upon sitting down, next to Sibyl and Matthew who was talking excitedly with her father she saw her again. Oh god. Her eyes.

Anna’s eyes were red and still swollen. She sat the decanter of wine down and stood next to Barrow. At the site of Anna Mary became angry. Angrier than she had ever felt. She started gripping the napkin on her lap so tightly her nails dug into her palm. She felt Sibyl’s hand gently on her lap and she looked at her. Sibyl’s face was full of words she couldn’t even say.

Anna started the well known routine of making her way around the table. Starting with the Dowager who said very pointedly, “Thank you, Anna.” and looked at her in a way Anna had never seen.
Anna reached Mary all too soon. She leaned forward and in the past few weeks they had shared words of secrecy but this evening the heaviness between them was palpable. Mary didn’t have any words she could possibly say.

She saw Anna take her place next to Barrow who also had a solemn look on his face he must know as well.

Lord Grantham stood up with his wine glass. “I toast to Matthew and Mary’s engagement and the future of Downton!” The rest of the family lifted their glasses as well as Matthew smiled at Mary.

Mary who couldn’t breathe. Looked over at her future husband and smiled politely.

Matthew could see the trepidation in her gaze however and placed his hand on her thigh. “My darling.” He said softly assuming her wordless actions were from being in the spotlight.

The Dowager only looked at Mary with tenderness. Sibyl smiled as she should but with a heavy heart.

Anna picked up the craft of wine and followed Thomas out of the room and Mary didn’t even have the time to try and catch her eyes as Matthew lifted her hand happily in his celebration.

****

Anna making her way back towards the servants hall for a few moments before she was expected back in what she felt like a torture chamber having to see Mary’s hands in Matthews. The sadness that she could feel from her. The whatever they were that could never be again.

“Anna.” She heard Thomas say. “It’s time to go back up.” As shouts from the kitchen about bringing up the courses pulled Anna out of her thoughts.

“Thank you, Thomas.” She said.

He led her gently back upstairs looking at her before they re-entered the dining room and waiting until she nodded that she was ready.

She followed Thomas to the station next to Mr.Carson and stood like a statue.

She couldn't tell if she was angry with Mary or angry with the rest of the family. She wanted to flip the table over confessing that it was her that should be with Mary and not this man. She knew ultimately…it was not Mary’s fault. Mary was doing what she was meant to do. Marry someone to secure the destiny of the family. At that thought she dared to look up and found Mary eyes.

Mary was staring at her so intensely she felt like a hole was being burned through the fabric of time. She also noticed that Lady Sibyl’s face was furrowed with worry and tried to harness her sister back but nothing would. Mary just continued to hold her gaze with Anna’s until the Dowager regained her attention and she looked over at her grandmother.

Carson gestured to start the main course and Anna, like some automatic non human, made her way around the table. She was just a maid. She wasn’t anybody. Upon reaching Mary she filled her glass so quickly she almost spilled the entire decanter and before she lifted her hands or head she saw Mary look over at her and their eyes met again. A plea of desperation in Mary’s eyes until she was once again summoned back to her fiance and she emotionlessly turned towards him, her hands shaking in her lap.

When Anna poured the wine for Sibyl she touched her arm. “Thank you, Anna.” her eyes full of an apology. Anna just looked at her blankly before giving her the slightest hint of smile.

Anna mindlessly made her way to the counter and sat the decanter down and stared at the floor. What kind of torture was this? She was meant to stand here and watch. Watch as Matthew pulled her Mary’s hand up to his mouth and kissed it. As the family celebrated while Mary was so miserable it made her want to be sick. She suddenly couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Excuse me Mr.Carson.” She said quietly and left the dining room and through the servants door and down the stairs and into the servants hall and then outside gasping for air. Curled over into herself she started panicking. Something she had never felt before. It felt like she was dying.

***

Mary felt Anna return and she didn’t even need to look up to know she was there. She could feel her. My darling Anna Mary thought. My Anna. Her sister kept trying to bring her back from her thoughts when Matthew gathered her free hand in his and squeezed it kissing her knuckles. Mary automatically smiled at him…something she would soon have to get used to…among other things…his body so close to hers she wouldn’t have space to breathe. The idea sent her into a panic she was having a very hard time containing when she saw Anna leave the dining room.

Her thoughts immediately went to wanting to follow her.

“I am terribly sorry but I have to excuse myself.” She stood up and placed a hand on Matthews shoulder to assure him. “I think I may have celebrated too much….had too much wine.”

Matthew and the rest of the men stood up as she did. “Of course…” Matthew said, holding her hands to help her.

“I shall be back, I do apologize.” She added with a small smile to her father and mother who looked confused but also concerned.

Mary left. The main hall was empty and she suddenly made the decision. She walked over to the servants door and held onto the railing tightly as she made her way to the hall where most of the servants were. She knew this would cause problems and gossip however she did not care at the moment all that mattered was she found Anna.

As she entered the hall every single servant she encountered stopped and acknowledged her. “I am sorry but I am looking for Anna. She was serving and suddenly left…I need to know if she’s well enough to dress me for the night.” She said to one hallboy who seemed so shocked even being addressed by someone upstairs. “Do you know or shall I ask someone else?” She said harshly. He shook his head. “Thank you.” She continued into the servants hall not finding Carson or Mr. Hughes.

“She’s in the courtyard.” Thomas was slightly out of breath and gestured towards the back door. “My lady.” He added for good measure.

Mary’s eyes widened. “Thank you, Barrow.” She walked through and opened the door fiercely and shut it loudly.

“Anna!” She said immediately finding her.

Anna stood up shocked to see her.

They stayed still for moments, the language of anger and desire falling back and forth.

“How are you here?” Anna finally broke the silence.

Mary’s power and voice came back. “I do what I want.” She approached Anna noting how cold it was and her bare skin against the air she started to shiver.

“Mlady it’s too cold…” Is all Anna could muster and added, “ Did Gwen not do your hair?”

“I don’t want anyone to touch me besides you, Anna.” Mary pleaded.

“My Lady.” Anna started-

“Mary.” She said angrily. “You know to call me Mary.” Her words were so full of what Anna could only discern as disgust and before she could find something to say back Mary grabbed Anna and pulled her into a dark corner.

“I’ve told you to call me Mary and you will forever call me Mary…” Her face close to Anna’s and her eyes infectiously mad.

“You are engaged. We cannot be together.” Anna’s eyes were fuming Mary had never seen her so mad and she couldn’t help but adore it anyways.

“Give me more time, my love please.” Mary was shivering and begging. “I cannot fathom a life without you.”

Anna’s anger swelled up again. “I can’t just be your maid…as you are married to him. Knowing he is able to touch you as I want to…I can’t do it, Mary…Do not torment me to such ridicule. I deserve more. I will leave and you can carry on with your life.” Anna said half shouting. “But do not think I can play along knowing I will never have you as I want.” Anna looked around at the empty courtyard. “And we can’t even be together in the confines of this house! I am left to wait for you to ring for me when I want to wake up in your bed! When I want to…I am nothing that would ever be worthy of you, Mary.” Anna said brushing past Mary who caught her arm.

“Anna please!” She cried.

“Mary, we must stop this.” She pulled her arm from her hand with almost a look of disdain on her face. “I’ll put in my notice in the morning… and work until I am replaced…for a good reference…until then please… please let me be…” She pleaded.

Mary held one of her hands over her mouth stifling a cry.

“Go back upstairs, Mlady.” Anna said as she took one last look not knowing her heart could break anymore than it was and left.

Mary stood in the cold until someone suddenly touched her arm. “My Lady…” It was Barrow…

Mary nodded and let him lead her back through the servants hall back up to the dining room as the family was filing into the library for after dinner drinks. She looked at Thomas with such a desperate look she felt so bare. He just swallowed and opened the servants door for her to enter the foyer again.

Mary wiped her face and joined her family sitting next to her grandmother. “My apologies…I’ve felt rather unwell today…” She said and it was so systematic how easily her mask was placed. Something she would have to do forever.

Her grandmother was looking at her with such tender care. “No need to apologize my dear.” She patted her arm.

Mary sat next to Matthew and was so blank with her expressions she used the ones she assumed were appropriate for whatever they were talking about. Matthew grabbed her hand gently holding it close to his lap.

The Dowager stood up. “Mary, would you accompany me? I feel I am tired.” She looked towards the butler. “Carson, please have my car pulled around.”

“Yes My Lady.”

Mary smiled at her family and followed her grandmother out into the foyer when she ushered her to the side of the doors.

“Mary. Do you love her?”

Mary was so struck she couldn’t find any words she just simply gaped at her grandmother. “Grandmama…I ….I’m not sure what you are speaking of?”

The Dowager stared at her. “Mary, I am not a fool and do not make me feel like one.” She grasped her granddaughter's hand tightly. “Now. Do you love her?”

Mary’s eyes were wide. “Yes.” is all she could say.

To Mary’s surprise her grandmother chuckled. “ Well then. That’s settled.”

“Nothing is…I have to marry him…” Mary started to lose her resolve.

“No you do not. Remember that, Mary.” She said, pulling her coat over herself.

“Granny but…”

“Mary, you are not the first person in this family to fall for a beautiful blonde.”

Mary was trying to keep up with her grandmother. “Oh?”

The Dowager smiled. “Anna is quite beautiful is she not?”

Pulling her coat tight she smiled at her eldest granddaughter. “Goodnight my dear.”
******

Anna had quickly retraced her steps to the dining room to finish her job when she found it already cleared. She felt slightly out of place with her routine so thrown off when Ms. Hughes appeared.

“Oh, Anna, are you feeling alright?”

Anna smiled, “Yes and I apologize-”

“No need my dear, why don’t you go up and rest.” She gave her a nod.

“Thank you.” Anna trekked her way back to her room to find a large blanket neatly folded on top of her bed. She walked over and found a small note sticking out of the top.

She caressed the fabric before pulling the note out.

I never want you to be cold.

She closed her eyes trying to trap the tears from falling from her eyes.

The door opened and Gwen entered seeing that Anna had seen the gift.

“She asked me to bring it to you this morning...I hadn’t put it on your bed yet.”

Breathing in deeply she picked it up and handed it to Gwen.

“You can have it…”

Gwen felt the fabric and wasn’t opposed to the idea of sleeping under something so warm but decided against it.

“She wanted you to have it, Anna.” Gwen placed it back on Anna’s bed. “If you are leaving, just enjoy the warmth.”

Anna ignored this comment and started taking her uniform off and washing her face that was swollen with the amount of tears she had shed. She got into her nightgown and crawled into her bed wordlessly placing the blanket on the floor.

Gwen followed suit, but before getting into bed she unfolded the blanket and draped it over Anna. “Goodnight, Anna.” She said softly.

*****

It was closing in on midnight and Mary still was unable to sleep. I cannot marry him. She kept running back and forth in her mind with her grandmother's words also tustled in there. How had she known that it was Anna? She couldn’t recall any intimate moment with Anna that was outside of this room and their interactions at dinner were so discreet only Sibyl could tell.

God she wanted Anna with her. She kept thinking knowing she had basically banished her away.

Anna wanted her to stay away so she could move on and they could move on….She couldn’t stand the idea. The thought of never having Anna in her arms again made her want to not live anymore. Have her body against hers and hold her face and her-

Mary got out of bed and began pacing her room looking pointedly at the spots she and Anna had had their very intimate moments together. I want more than that. She thought.

Her resolve was failing at the same time her anger was rising. I will not be made to live my life differently than how I want to live it. With Anna.

She had to tell her this. Now.

Her silk nightgown was so thin she would surely be cold if she left the confines of her bedroom but she was so compelled…Can I sneak into her room and bring her here with me? How would she get back?

Before she found a resolution for the problem she had left her room barefooted quietly making her way towards the end of the hallway that led to the servants entrance and then up the stairs and with each step towards Anna she felt more that this wild decision was correct.

She knew only the women's hall was locked with a key hanging on the wall. She pulled it off the hook and as quietly as she could, unlocked the door. Each sound seemed to echo and she waited after each one to hear for any sign of someone noticing.

She pulled the door half shut and walked towards Anna and Gwen’s room knowing she would most likely wake the other maid if she opened the door.

For the love of my life I would risk anything. She thought.

Turning the doorknob it somehow silently opened and she crept into the room listening to Gwen’s deep breaths hoping she was in such a deep slumber she wouldn’t hear the intruder that had clearly broken into their room.

She started towards Anna when she saw her eyes were still wide awake and she propped herself up on her elbows looking confused and anxious.

Mary gestured for her to get out of bed and follow her.

Anna spent exactly three seconds deciding against it when she slowly lifted her bedsheets off and placed her feet on the cold floor looking over at Gwen who still was in a deep slumber and hadn't moved.

Mary reached for Anna’s hand and pulled her into the hallway and down towards the door and out of the servants quarters. Both of them not daring to say a word as Mary closed and locked the door, hanging the key up. She looked at her with such desperation it almost brought Anna back to tears. The fear in her eyes wasn’t from sneaking around Abby in the middle of the night. Anna felt she knew what type of fear it was as she had a hint of it in her eyes as well.

Mary offered her hand to Anna’s and when she took it she led her down the stairs and took the first servant's door she found which led to the foyer.

“My Lady…”Anna said to guide her back to her room, but Mary suddenly had another idea.

“Come with me.” She whispered and pulled her into the middle of the foyer that was draped in moonlight. “I love you.” She said.

Anna wavered in her words…”Mary… it cannot be…” She whispered barely audibly.

“I will not marry him Anna…” Mary said, pulling her fully into her arms as if they were dancing. “Can I ….can I kiss you..”

Anna adored the way Mary asked. “If this is the only way we are able to then why should we?”

Mary pondered the question. “We’re here now aren’t we…nobody is here to see us…please kiss me…” their hushed voices still seemed to sound so loud in the empty hall.

Anna couldn’t deny her request anymore and kissed her in the middle of the entranceway. Mary held her waist so gently before cradling her face in her hands. “I will never know happiness if you are not in my life.” She breathed.

She then placed Anna’s hand on her waist and grasped the other up and started to dance in the moonlight under the silent song of their love.

They circled around and Anna couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. There it is. Mary thought. That smile.

As they danced in silence Mary moved closer to Anna and slowed their steps.

“Can I steal you away for longer?” She asked with her big doe eyes that Anna could never refuse.

“Mary we…” Anna started.

“I so desperately need to hold you.” Mary said, breathing heavily.

At that Anna grabbed her hand and led her up the long staircase to her bedroom. They both looked up and down the hallway so they could enter Mary’s bedroom silently.

Once they were inside Mary quietly shut the door and locked it.

“I miss this room more than I care to admit and it’s not been more than a day since I’ve been here with you…” She whispered, putting both of her hands in Mary’s. “Mary…I…”

“Please.” Mary said. “I am not marrying him…I will be with you…and I will find a way please just give me some time…I don’t know how but I will… I-”

Anna kissed her, stopping the rest of her words. Mary leaned in so heavily to the kiss she almost made Anna lose her footing. “I love you.” She pulled back from the kiss. “I will only ever love you.”

At that Anna felt tears form in her eyes that Mary started kissing away. “May I hold you?” She asked gesturing towards her bed and when Anna nodded she released her and pulled back the covers.

Nestling close, Anna looked up at Mary.

“You never have had your hair down for a dinner service.” Anna whispered.

Mary was so close her body pressed against Anna’s with one arm that was only free to touch any part of Anna she could. “I told you…I only want you to touch me…” She said, caressing her fingers across Anna’s face.

Anna sighed, closing her eyes. “I only want to be the one to touch you, Mary.” and she closed the miniscule gap between them and kissed her softly. Mary was hovering over her still tracing her fingers up and down Anna’s face. “How can we be together… your parents will-”

Mary placed one of her long slender fingers across her lips. “Please…I’ll find a way…” and she leaned in and kissed Anna so gently she melted into it.

They continued their soft kisses until Anna started to feel the anger she had held on to burn away and the heat returned to her center and she pulled Mary closer, grasping at her body almost in between quiet cries. Mary reciprocated and moved her free hand to Anna’s side, her back, her chest, her breaths getting more and more desperate.

Anna started lifting Mary’s silk nightgown up grasping tightly to her. “Mary…” She breathed heavily. Mary moved on top of her and also started the same motions of removing Anna’s gown. Mary propped herself up and lifted her gown off completely and being naked in front of Anna in this way only fueled her desire. Straddling Anna’s waist she pulled her gown off as well.

They stayed still in the loud silence and moonlight coming in from Mary’s window until Anna reached up and felt Mary’s skin like she was touching something so sacred she couldn’t help but weep. Mary wrapped one of Anna's hands in hers and moved it along her chest letting out small whimpers.

“Mary, you are so beautiful.” she whispered.

Mary sighed and leaned down pressing kisses down Anna’s neck and her arm and the center of her chest and then landed her mouth over Anna’s breast which drawed out a soft moan she had so wanted to hear. “You are a delicacy, Anna.” in a deep and sultry voice.

Anna pulled her back to her mouth and turned them over so she was now on top of Mary trailing her wet lips down her skin and over her chest as Mary had done to her.

Mary moaned loudly.

“Shhh…” She continued until she was kissing Mary’s thighs like she had done previously and then with a sudden urgency she pressed her mouth onto Mary’s core which did not stifle any of her moans and if anything made them louder which only made her wetter. Looping her tongue across Mary’s center she wanted to memorize how she tasted. Mary grabbed a handful of her hair and gasped again as Anna continued to move her mouth around it humming into her when Mary suddenly pulled her up to her face and kissed her so deeply she grunted with a need they both were not sure how to navigate.

Mary sat up pulling Anna into her lap and lifted her leg over her waist and did the same so their wetness was touching and at that they both gasped so loudly it might have woken up the whole house.

Mary started moving them. Their center’s rubbing in such an erotic way Anna held her close to her panting clawing at her back.

The moonlight was the only thing covering them as they started moving faster with their eyes locked.

“Anna” Mary breathed. “Oh Anna…” She said not leaving her eye site as Anna’s mouth hung open panting with the same high pitched sound Mary had brought out of her the other day…the sound that had occupied her mind ever since.

Anna started moving more too, gyrating her hips up towards Mary’s with her pupils so wide her blue eyes were dark. She pulled their foreheads together and Mary’s grip on her lower back tightened.

Moving faster and with more pressure she could see Mary was becoming less in control of her breathing, hilting with each stroke her mouth too hung open panting out, as quietly as she could, whines from the back of her throat from somewhere deep in her.

“You’re mine.” Anna said panting, continuing her motions. “You’re mine, Mary…” She whispered into her mouth so aroused with the wet sound of their cores together.

Mary was keeping tempo with her movements barely being able to think. “I’m yours, Anna…I’m yours…” At Anna claiming her Mary felt so close to completion she gave Anna a deep kiss pressing her tongue into her mouth as Anna did the same.

“Mary…” Anna said with a grunt and started to move quicker at the sounds she was drawing out of Mary.

“Come with me.” Mary said clashing their mouths together moving faster and pushing their bodies closer together. “I love you…I love you only…” She said louder.

Pulling back only a small amount she found Anna’s eyes which were so hooded she could barely open them

“Look at me, Anna.” Mary said demandingly.

Anna opened her eyes and as they pressed together strongly they came hard. Both of them unable to control the myriad of sounds emitting from their mouths.

Once they came down Anna untangled her legs and pulled herself up against Mary’s body sighing simply staring at each other holding the moment close. Anna pushed Mary’s hair off of her perspring face still trying to catch her breath.

“My love.” Anna asked.

Mary smiled in between breaths. “I’m fine…I’ve just…never felt like this before… What you had done to me the other evening….and what I had done to you was exhilarating but this was…” She couldn't finish her sentence without letting out a laugh.

Anna laughed too, pulling Mary into her arms.

“You know…there was a day…I believe it was when I fitted you into the purple linen and…as I was tucking in your blouse you held my hand so it stilled on under your skirt.”

Mary looked up at her smiling. “What would you have done if you could have?” She had a devilish grin on her face.

“Well…thing is…after we had our little row about not being able to…go further and I left I went to my dorm and locked the door and thought of what I would have done if we could have and well…” She smirked.

Mary patted her chest playfully. “Anna Smith you absolute devil!”
“I couldn’t help it to be honest I was so…I had to do something before returning to work.” at that they both had to push their faces into the pillow to hide their laughter.

“You know,” Mary started, “There was a night…I believe it was after you whispered my name into my ear at dinner…by the way, very bold of you…you must tell me why you chose that particular moment to send me.”

“Well…you had requested I do so…I was only following orders m’lady.” Anna leaned up on an elbow, her long blonde hair falling across her shoulders, and circled her fingers around Mary’s shoulder. “I will say your response also sent my mind dizzy.”

“What did I say? All I remember is your saying my name in my ear.”

“You said ‘please do that more often’ in your sultry velvet Mary voice I so love.” Anna snickered.

“Oh yes…” She exhaled. “I imagined you saying my name in much of the way you did tonight after that…in fact that evening I couldn’t sleep and I had to relax myself…well let’s just say your name fell off my lips several times until I finally relaxed enough to fall asleep.”

Anna scoffed playfully, swatting her shoulder settled back down into the soft pillow linking her fingers into Mary’s outstretched hand.

“You look so adorable in your uniform.” Mary said.

“Oh?”

“I’ve always thought so. Since the first time I saw you.” She leaned in and kissed her gently before resting her head back down.

“The black evening gown…” Anna said.

“Which one?” Mary asked.

Leaning up again she moved her lips hovering over Mary’s. “With the beaded choker…anytime I had to dress you in it I was never able to focus. ‘

Mary smiled widely. “I think I could tell…you’d spend extra time clasping it…and whenever your hands were on me I’d have to fight to not give away the secret of wanting more.”

'Are you serving dinner tomorrow again?’ Mary asked, pulling a long blonde strand behind Anna’s small ear.

Anna huffed. “I”m not sure but it does seem to be a new task of mine doesn’t it. Last night about killed me, Mary. I couldn’t stand seeing him kiss you…” She caressed her nose against Mary’s.
“Oh my love…I felt like I was dying as well…when I saw you leave the dining room I had to follow you.” Mary pulled their foreheads together. “I will find a way darling. Do not lose faith in me…please do not leave me…”

“Okay, Mary…I trust you…” Anna pressed her lips against Mary’s as if sealing a promise. “However…at this moment I should leave.”

At that Mary’s grip tightened around her. “Oh I know…I am so sorry you’ll have to rise so early.”

Anna pulled herself from Mary with difficulty as all she wanted to do was continue to lay and talk with her in the safety of her room.

“Let me walk you back at least.” Mary pulled herself up out of bed, “As it is my fault you even have to sneak around the house in the first place.”

Anna handed her the discarded nightgown and pulled her own on and pulled Mary towards the door.

“Will I see you in the morning?” Mary’s eyes once again doe like.

“I’ll tell Gwen in the morning that I will be the one to dress you.” Anna smiled and led them into the cold dark hallway.

Mary held her hand all the way to the door that led to the dormitories and kissed her fingers and before she could stall any longer turned around and left.

Chapter Text

Anna woke up so tired she didn’t know how she’d be able to pull herself awake she sat on the edge of her bed waking up.

“Anna, it's time.” Gwen said getting up herself. “You seem extra tired this morning…is that why you were gone for two hours in the middle of the night?”

Anna was suddenly wide awake. “Oh..uhm…I just…”

Gwen raised her eyebrows. “Just hope nobody else saw you and the Lady sneaking off in the night.” She tossed a towel jokingly at Anna.

“Oh my I won’t let that happen again I swear…” Anna said unconvincingly.

“Right.” Gwen rolled her eyes. “You two just be…cautious I don’t want anything to happen to you because…you know… are….uhm.” She started faltering the last sentiment.

“I’ll be careful, Gwen, thank you.” Anna had never fully considered the forbidden word for what her and Mary were but it only made her love them more. “And you don’t have to dress the Lady this morning. I can do that.” she added.

“Oh putting her clothes on instead of off I assume?” Gwen said cheekily.

“Oh shut it will you!”

*****

Mary woke up not long after seven and started replaying the events of the previous evening. She couldn’t contain the smile that started to form thinking of the way Anna and her had made love. She couldn’t wait to repeat it…and they would….soon hopefully. The more challenging task at hand was ending her engagement to Matthew. She even half thought about what if she told him she was in love with a woman and could never love him…once again she wished that she could be a close friend with him. He seemed kind enough to not want to send her to an insane asylum for being sapphic. How would she tell her family…what about the staff…the thought of Carson or Hughes knowing she was bedding their favorite maid made her stomach churn. Her father would surely disown her and she would have to abandon any inheritance…

Should she take Anna and go somewhere else aside from Downton? She only knew bits and pieces about her upbringing, something she was always hesitant to speak about and Mary never wanted to press the topic.

She would have to see Matthew again today…She didn’t think she could end the engagement today as they were mostly going to be around the family and his mother…another kind soul she felt like she was letting down.

No. She promised Anna. She had to figure this out…her thoughts turned to telling her mother…she also now knew her grandmother was well aware of her affair with her maid and also might have had some of the same tendanice as well…

She noted that it was close to eight and she reached over and pulled the bell…I do hate and love summoning her…

She sat at the edge of her bed giddy to see her when her door opened without a knock and there she was. Adorable beyond reason in her uniform.

“Good morning my darling…” Mary said in her deep voice.

Anna reached her and kissed her. “Good morning my love.” She lifted her from the bed into the middle of the room. “I will say…this task will be much more difficult now that I know which parts of you to touch that make you whimper.”

Mary flushed. “Oh don’t get me started I will lock this door and have you on your back so fastly my dear.” looking over her shoulder warningly at her.

“Oh, is that so m’lady?’ Anna pulled off her nightgown and started fitting her corset. Her hands moving further down Mary’s front. “And what is it I should be afraid of you doing.” She kissed her neck.

Mary turned around before Anna could finish even the first part of dressing her. “Well…for a start…taste you…as you tasted me…”

Anna’s face reddened. “Lady Mary, how uncouth.” She teased pushing her back so she could finish lacing up the corset and place the dress over her and moved to the front to button it, giving her a teasing finger tracing down her collar bone. “Now are you to wear your hair a mess like this or should I make you into a proper lady?” She joked.

Mary sat in the chair in front of her vanity. “You grew up in Yorkshire, correct?”

“I did. What makes you ask that?”

“One time I asked about your parents and you got fairly downcast so I never brought it up again…when you first started I wanted to know you better…but I then felt like I was overstepping my boundaries.” Mary said.

“Well. I grew up mostly with my mother…and stepfather and my sister…we don't speak often, just once a month or so.” Anna started placing Mary’s hair up with pins delicately. “It wasn’t too pleasant most of the time to be honest…” Her voice changed tones.

Mary caught her eyes in the mirror. “My darling you don’t have to tell me unless you want to.”

“I know…I’d like to, but maybe another time…if that’s alright with you.” She placed both her hands on Mary’s shoulders smiling at her.

Mary’s door opened with a small knock and Sibyl entered.

“Good morning Anna…Mary…” Sybil had a devilish grin on her face.

“Good morning Lady Sybil.”

Mary started pressing some perfume on her neck and picked up a pearl necklace for Anna to put on her.

Unclasping it and fitting it around Mary’s neck Sibyl looked at them both smirking.

“I hope you both got at least some sleep…seems you were up rather late..”

Anna dropped the necklace and Mary dropped her perfume bottle with a clatter.

Anna picked up the necklace and then placed her hand over her mouth, not able to decide if she should be highly embarrassed or laugh.

Mary on the other hand put both her hands over her mouth and turned to her sister trying not to laugh. “Oh..I….”

Sibyl crossed her legs and looked pointedly at both of them as if she were scolding them. “Well it seems we have made a decision haven’t we my dear sister.”

“Yes, however I am working on the next step of this journey.” Mary said finally composing herself.

Anna put the necklace on Mary and looked at Sibyl. “My Lady, I do apologize.” is all she could say with a straight face realizing we were quite loud last.

“Not to bother, Anna.” Sibyl said annoyingly smug.

“Sister I hope we can count on your discre-”

“Oh I won’t say anything…I didn’t hear much…just maybe more than I was meant to.”

Anna had never felt more embarrassed in her entire life while Mary couldn’t help but start laughing and grabbed Anna’s hand to try and control herself.

“Anyways…hopefully nobody else woke up for that aside from myself…” she winked at them and left the room.

Anna and Mary looked at each other mouths agape…and started to fall into fits of giggles.

“And to think I felt like I was holding back fairly well..” Mary said standing up.

“There was one moment in particular I thought you’d wake the whole house up.”

Mary draped her long arms over Anna’s shoulders. “Hmmmm and how much louder do you think you could make me moan?” She asked caressing her lips along Anna’s jaw.

“Oh…much much more…”Anna sighed.

*****

Mary’s day was spent dully. She was ushered off to meet Matthew’s mother in town and spent the entire time thinking of Anna. With each forced moment she was pushed into the more and more it became apparent she had to do something radically different than her projected life.

Matthew’s mother was so polite and earnest. Mary and her spoke of easy subjects and sipped their tea.

“Matthew is so fond of you, Mary.” Isobelle said. “He’s a good man. He will be good to you.”

Mary fiddled with the handle of her cup. “I know.” She said, It wasn’t a lie. She knew he would. She knew he was a good man. “He’s a very good man, Isobelle.” she added for good measure.

Isobelle looked at her quizzically… “My dear when I say he’s a good man I also mean he wouldn’t want to be with the wrong person.”

Mary looked up from her thoughts. “I beg your pardon?”

“He cares for you a great deal, Mary. Don’t take advantage of that.”

Mary didn’t know what to say. “I would never.” is all she could muster. Was her aversion to this marriage apparent to everyone but her parents and aloof sister. “I promise.”

Isobelle nodded and they resumed their light conversation.
*******

Anna was sitting at the servants hall table working on fixing one of Lady Mary’s dress shirts. Her hands moving mindlessly as she had other things playing on repetition in her head. Not only of their love making but Mary’s laughter and how easily it was to co exist with her and be vulnerable with her. She felt so at ease around her. Like it always had felt. Before they even knew it.

“You certainly seem less melancholy than you did last night.” Thomas sat down across from her. He patted his cigarette package on the table before pulling one out. “I’m assuming you and the Lady made up.”

Anna looked up quickly and around making sure nobody was around to hear what he had said. “Yes and I’ll ask you to not say her name down here anymore, Thomas.” She couldn’t hide a hint of a grin on her face however.

“One of the hallboys asked me about why she was down here last night…I said to mind his business….however he did say how terrified he was of her.”

Anna couldn’t help but laugh. “Good gracious I wonder what she did to him.”
Thomas lit his smoke. “He said she pressured him to tell him where you were and when he wasn’t able to say anything she yelled at him sternly.”

Anna and Thomas laughed. “Oh my…she can be quite scary when she wants.”

“Scariest one in the family I have gathered ... .aside from the Dowager.” Thomas said.

They sat in their comfortable silence again. Thomas unfolded the paper to read and Anna resumed her task of sewing new buttons on the very blouse that had sent her into a tizzy at one time.

“Do either of you have a plan?’ Thomas said not looking up from his paper.

Anna stalled her hands. “Not yet…she seems adamant that she will find one.”

Thomas nodded. “I’m happy for you, Anna.”

She looked up at him smiling. “It’s not ideal but…it is nice to be loved in this way.”

He smiled at her too. “Ahh well…we can’t ever have it as we want, but it does feel nice when someone loves us back in the same vein.”

Anna and Thomas acknowledged the unspoken between them.

“Something I am sure you will find as well, Thomas.” Anna said as Ms. Hughes entered.

“Oh Anna once again William will not be here for dinner service so you will have to serve. Seems as if you’re going to be a permanent staple in the dining room. I am so sorry…I know it’s taken a toll on you lately.”

“No worry Ms. Hughes I can manage and I apologize for feeling ill last night.”

“Not to worry. Mr. Carson and I have agreed to give you two full days off this week as compensation.” Ms.Hughes said.

“I appreciate that I do thank you.” Anna said politely.

“Two full days, my goodness how will we manage.” Thomas said in a snotty tone not unlike Mary.

“Speaking of…You best change so you can attend to the girls.” Ms. Hughes said.

Anna stood up gathering the blouse she had been mending. “Of course Ms. Hughes.”

She gave one last look at Thomas who also was leaving to change into his evening livery.

*****

“Mary!” Matthew called to her in the entryway as she was walking towards the staircase. “May I accompany you?” He asked so kindly.

He wanted to walk her to her room and maybe join her there. After all, they were engaged.

“Of course.” She said, Maybe this would be a moment to tell him? No, not the time Mary. She thought.

He walked her up the stairs and they talked politely of their days. He opened her bedroom door and followed her inside.

Her bedroom was now such a sacred space for her and Anna as it was the only place they could openly love one another; she felt slightly disgusted at him being there under the impression they would soon share it too.

“Mother said she enjoyed her afternoon.” He said sitting in her windowsill.

“Yes I rather enjoyed myself as well.” She said, pulling the bell for Anna. She’ll be so affronted seeing Matthew in her room but it was the only way to make him leave. She thought. “You’ll have to thank her again for hosting me on such short notice.”

Matthew stood and grabbed her hands. “It’s not short notice especially when you’ll be my wife soon.” He kissed her hands and as he was walking towards the door Anna entered.

“Oh I apologize Mr. Matthew…” Anna said.

“No need, Anna.” He smiled at her kindly.

He left and shut the door and Anna stood still looking at Mary who was so distraught she was shaking.

Anna approached her and softly placed her hand on her arm. “Mary.”

“I promised you and I too always keep my promises.” Mary looked at her darkly.

Anna nodded. “If it ever feels too daunting… my love… just…” and before she could finish her sentence Mary kissed her.

“I promised. I will not be marrying him. I will be spending my life with you my darling my love my Anna.” Mary breathed and pleaded desperately.
“Oh I am sorry you had to see him in our room.” Mary said, turning around and pulled her necklace off and started undoing the front of her dress.

Anna stepped forward and started to help her. “Our room is it now.” she smirked. She pulled the dress down and folded it softly before pulling the black dress from the wardrobe that she had purchased on her visit to London. “Thought you might want to wear this.” She pulled out the dress Mary had bought and never worn.

She placed it over Mary and clasped the back. “You know…this looks much like the one I find you so alluring in.” Anna said.

Mary turned towards her. “I wonder why that is…only this one has blue stitching…to match your eyes.”

Anna blushed. “And this.” She pulled the blue laced choker. “For my eyes as well?” She pulled it around Mary’s neck.

“Well it’s not for Matthew’s blue eyes I can say that.” Mary said in a tone that was so full of disdain it almost made Anna laugh.

The dress conformed to Mary’s body so perfectly the deep blue hints were so subtle. Just like their relationship. Anna sat Mary down to fix her hair.

She kissed the top of her head inhaling. “How would you like me to fix your hair darling.”

Mary leaned back into Anna’s hands. “Down. I want it down.”

“Oh you want to look even more beautiful for your soon to be husband?’ Anna almost sounded offended.

“No, I want to look even more beautiful for you my love.”

With that Anna braided small strands so they could be pinned on the back and laid Mary’s long hair down the back of the dress which was low cut.

“Mary, you are so beautiful.” Anna said, kissing the side of her face.

Mary stood up. “I bought you something as well in London. I’m not sure when I’ll get the chance to see you in it, but nonetheless I cannot wait.

Anna guffawed. “You bought me a dress. In London. When you met your suitor?” Anna said, flabbergasted.

“Anna, if it cannot be more apparent how much I love you I don’t even know what else to do.” Mary said, almost annoyed.

Anna blushed. “Mary, if you must know I’m still so shocked you could even love someone like me.” She said quietly.

Mary held out her hand so Anna could place the long silk gloves over her fingers and when she finished she pulled her in. “I cannot imagine loving anyone else.” and kissed her.

“Well..” Anna said. “I’m sure sometime I’ll be able to put on this said dress.”

“I hope so…I so desire to see you in it ….” Mary said. “Kiss me again please before you go.” She asked once again with her large amber eyes.

“I’ve never been able to say no.” and kissed her again. “I’ll see you at dinner.”

Mary’s eyes lightened up. “Oh so you are serving dinner again.”

“Yes. William is still with his father; they had the funeral only yesterday.”

“I am terribly sorry for his loss…but will be so terribly sad when I can’t see you at dinner.” Mary added.

“Well.” Anna picked up her clothes for washing. “I must admit I’ve grown to enjoy it, however seeing you with Matthew will be difficult.” She went to leave. “I must go.”

“Seeing you across the room from me and not being able to touch you is torture please whisper something in my ear tonight that I can look forward to.” Mary said teasingly.

“Oh really? Well then…I’ll have to find something tantalizing to send you again in front of everyone we are keeping this a secret from.” She kissed Mary quickly and left.

*****

In the library she was trying her best to engage in conversation with her family, also with her sister and her grandmother's eyes on her knowingly. It was difficult to concentrate, especially after she had a full glass of brandy. Her mind kept flowing back to Anna. What if she were sitting next to her in her blue gown and her family were excitedly talking of their marriage. Something that would never happen happily, however, she was convinced she would accomplish nonetheless.

“Mary, tell me.” Her grandmother pulled her out of the dull conversation she was having with Matthew and her father. “How is your…favorite blonde?” She said knowing that it could either mean Anna or Matthew.

“Well… I’ve decided I must find some way to…be with them.” She said shrugging as if it were the easiest task in the world keeping her voice low.

“And when will you tell about it?” The Dowager said.

Mary considered this for a few minutes. “I’m not sure Grandmama.” She took another hefty sip of her brandy.

“I can tell…as you are once again drinking your brandy before dinner since you’ve been in this whole affair…Will she be serving tonight?”

Mary looked at her sharply.

And at that they were up and walking into the dining room.

This evening Mary was thankfully not sat next directly next to Matthew but with Sybil on one side and her mother on the other. She did worry that her attentive mother would notice her and Anna’s quite electric energy.

She waited almost on edge. Mary, you've done this before. She kept telling herself until Anna entered. Gods the uniform she was in…Mary wanted to pull her towards her and start unbuttoning the front and then-

“Mary and I had a wonderful afternoon.” Isobelle spoke up.

Violet, the Dowager, found annoyance. “Who doesn’t enjoy an afternoon with my granddaughter…she is ever so polite.”

“Now, Granny, I’m not always polite.” Mary said in her very much highborn voice.

Thomas was picking up the tray to serve as Anna had picked up the craft of wine when she and him started laughing ever so subtly. He looked at her. This is the woman you’ve chosen to love.

Anna started around the table.

“Carson, when will you give Anna a moment to rest!?” The Dowager said. “She works far too much….thank you my dear.” She said to Anna as her glass was filled. Her eyes following her more closely now.

“My Lady…our footman is still home with his father for his mothers funeral…I …” Carson stuttered.

“Oh I am only teasing Carson. I enjoy seeing Anna in the dining room. She’s much better to look at than the others.” She said so simply that the rest of the table stiled.

“Mother!?” Robert piped up.

“Oh Robert calm yourself. Aside from Barrow, Carson hasn’t hired a handsome footman in years.” And at that the girls and even Matthew had to hide their laughs.

Anna was red in the face and still could not stop from smiling. She couldn’t decide if she should say a thank you to the Dowager or let it go.

“I don’t mind Your Grace. It’s been an enjoyable task.” Anna said suddenly.

Not being used to having the servants speak to them during dinner they were silenced as Anna was pouring Isobelle’s wine.

“I think it’s nice for a change.” She nodded a silent thank you to Anna.

Mary’s skin was tingling. What if her family loved her?

“Yes I think so as well.” Matthew chimed in who was sat next to his mother and as well thanked Anna.

“Anna has been with us for some years. I fear we wouldn’t know what to do without her at this point.” Cora said smiling.

“A loyal servant who is paid well, of course.” Lady Edith said sardonically.

Mary’s anger immediately flared up and she went to open her mouth when a hand was on her knee and it was not her sisters but her mothers. She looked over at her and Cora moved her head side to side subtly.

“Matthew, tell me of your day.” Lord Grantham asked steering the direction of the conversation again.

Anna poured Lady Grantham’s wine with a soft smile and thank you from her and when she was next to Mary she waited for their game of cat and mouse.

Leaning in as she had done so many times closer than she should.

“Don’t over-strain yourself, Anna, you need your hands for later.” Mary said softly and barely audible. Mary looking up at her and Anna couldn’t help but look at her as well with her eyes barely concealing their desire.

Cora was watching her daughter carefully as she spoke to Anna and saw the way her eyes followed her around the room.

****

Anna placed the craft back on the table and followed Thomas back to the service hall readying the next wine breathing heavily. She wanted her hands to do much to Mary this evening if she had the time.

“Anna.” Thomas pulled her back to reality. “A few more hours and you’ll be able to- just finish dinner this time.” He said almost annoyedly but also lovingly.

“Sorry.” She said.

Anna stood next to Thomas waiting for the next course to start.

The family was discussing the running of the estate and only when Lord Grantham raised his voice did Anna fully pay attention.

“Once Mary and Matthew are married it will all be final…” The others around the table started to talk and Anna felt that pit in her stomach…She can’t escape this.

She instantly looked up at Mary who was already looking at her….as well as Lady Grantham.

“Robert, let’s not get ahead of ourselves now. One day at a time?” She was the only one who had an American accent. “Why don’t we let these things fall into Mary’s hands?”

Robert knelt his head to the side. “Matthew is the one we will let these things fall with my dear, isn’t that right.” He looked at Matthew who smiled almost bashidly into his dinner

“Well I can only hope that my Mary will help with knowing the estate more.” He held Mary’s hand.

Anna cringed at his use of his Mary. Mary was hers. That was her Mary. She was supposed to hold her hand, not him.

Mary looked up and Anna averted her eyes.

“Oh come now Mary isn’t interested in these types of things nor would she understand. These aren’t things for women like Mary to understand or worry about.” Lord Grantham said.

And with complete abandon Anna refused to be silent. Mary was more than competent to run the estate. She deserved the inheritance without marrying a man.

“I think she is if you let her your Lordship.” Anna said, holding the craft of wine next to the Dowager. She had suddenly become numb at her words.

The entire dining room went silent.

“I think Anna is right! Listen to your daughter for once.” Cora said looking at Sybil encouraging her to say something as well.

“It wouldn’t hurt, Papa.” Sybil said.

“Robert, you're always dismissing your greatest allies. Mary knows more about the estate than Matthew.” The Dowager said.

Robert was still flabbergasted at Anna’s words he was trying to find who to shower his anger at.

“First off…Anna this is and never will be your place to ever speak… and second…This is highly disrespectful towards Matthew.” He slammed his napkin on the table.

Matthew spoke up. “Oh, Robert. I would love to hear Mary’s opinions.” He took quick glances at Mary, Cora, the Dowager, Sybil, and finally Anna.

“It’s still not a maid’s place to speak of.” Edith said.

“Bite your bitter tongue.” Mary lashed out.

The table was quiet and Anna wasn't sure if she should continue when the Dowager beckoned her to. “Anna my dear I am thirsty…this conversation is making me all the more disappointed in my son.” She said pointedly at Robert.

“So I am to let a simple minded maid cause such discourse at MY dining table” He said with such anger Anna backed away and Mary stood up.

“Do not ever threaten her again.” Her voice was so deep and forceful.

Sybil stood up as well. “Mary, papa would never insult your friend in such a way.” She pulled Mary back down as Matthew who had stood up at the same time sat down.

“I apologize…” Robert said.

The Dowager summoned Anna to her. “I would love a glass of wine.” She said smiling.

Anna didn’t know what to feel. She poured her wine and started her way around the room as she had but the incident had given her a good idea of what her and Mary would have to be against if they ever decided to announce their relationship. She also couldn’t help but feel proud of Mary for sticking up for her.

“Yes My Lady.” Anna said and poured her glass making her way around the table. When she reached Lady Grantham she felt a small hand on her arm.

“Thank you, Anna.” Cora said, smiling sweetly up at her.

Anna reached Mary and poured her glass silently and then Mary placed her hand on hers. “Thank you, Anna.”

“My Lady.” She responded and finished making her way around the table before placing the crystal craft on a silver tray and carried it towards the servants hall.

***

“I apologize for that, Matthew. We seem to give our servants more leeway with their thoughts than most houses.” Robert said.

“Oh I rather like it. I am as close to their status as anyone. Working for a living…they should be able to express their opinions.” He said.

Gods why couldn’t he be insufferable? This would be so much easier if he was.

“Thank you.” Mary said.

“Carson, make sure to talk to the maid after service please.” Robert said.

“My Lord.” Carson said and Mary could detect a hint of hesitation.

“Oh, Robert, Anna and Mary are such close friends. She must only care for her well being. Let's not mistake her kindness towards our daughter.” Cora said, looking pointedly at Mary.

Robert waved his hand. “Enough talk of servants. Mathew, what are some ideas you have for….”

Mary looked slightly relieved, however Anna’s outburst further fueled her desire to be open about their relationship. Even if it was just to make her father upset.

****

“Jesus almighty what in the devil?” Thomas stammered as they made their way downstairs.

“Oh don’t come at me with all that.” Anna replied. “Join me in the courtyard?” Anna said.

Thomas agreed and followed her to the cold barren cobblestone backyard. “Why would you do that?” He said pulling a smoke out and lighting it and handed it to Anna. He also pulled his flask out from his inner pocket.

Anna took a deep inhale. “Thomas I don’t know.”

He lit his own smoke and he and Anna sat on the boxes that always resided there.

“Well…I don’t think you made things easier for yourselves is all…however…Lady Mary was sure quick to defend you against her father and that’s something” He said.

Anna smoked pacing back and forth in the cold air. “Thomas…I know….Mary loves me. She wants to end her engagement and be with me.” Anna said, taking a small pull on the flask.

He looked at her with his eyebrows raised. “Yeah….I kinda figured when she stormed down here last night demanding to know where you were.”

“I think her father is maybe the only one in the family that really makes me upset…he cannot see how upset his own daughter is…everyone can see it …. Even Matthew…” She took a long drag of the cigarette. “He is blind.”

Thomas reached forward and grabbed the flask. “I think the only one left in the house to not know about you and Lady Mary is in fact his Lordship.”

Anna looked at him wide eyed. “Oh I certainly hope not.” She said.

“Well…maybe not Lady Edith…but…they’ve never gotten along.” He added. “I do think Lady Mary’s mother has caught on.”

Anna continued her pacing, throwing her cigarette on the ground smashing it with her foot. “Well maybe that’s a good thing. She hasn’t had me hung or fired yet.” She said jokingly.

Thomas handed her the flask once again. “No. I don’t think she’s the type to do that. Americans seem to be different.”

At that a hall boy opened the door to the courtyard.

“Yeah we bloody well know alright.” Thomas said and they made their way back into the house.

****

Mary followed her grandmother into the library for after dinner drinks which felt heavy.

“I do apologize, Matthew.” Lord Grantham said.

Matthew, as ever the perfect gentleman said, “Not to worry Robert. I think Anna is right as I said before.” He looked at Mary.

“Thank you, Matthew.” She said as he grabbed her hand in a different way. Not in a possessive way but more reassuring.

“Mary, would you escort me to the door and Carson have my car brought around.” The Dowager said.

“Yes My Lady.” Carson said as Thomas went and fetched Tom to bring the car around.

Mary followed her grandmother towards the front doors with her hands held delicately together.

“My darling granddaughter.” She said to Mary. “You said you were not certain she loved you but I do believe she does.”

Mary stammered once again. “She does, Grandmama.”

“Well then.” She once again pulled the coat around herself. “Make sure Anna knows.”

At hearing Anna’s name from her grandmother's mouth she looked at her fully. “What?”

“Make sure she knows.” And she left.

Mary watched as she left the hall towards her car and made her way back to the library.

She sat next to Matthew who gave her an odd look. “I hope your grandmother is alright then?”

Mary huffed and picked up her glass. “Granny is never alright unfortunately and you’ll soon understand that.” They both laughed. It felt really good. She did in a lot of ways adore Matthew. She noticed throughout the evening his demeanor towards her had changed however. She tried to not think too much into it as she hadn’t even told him that she would call off the engagement. Breaking his heart was such a hard thing to do.

“So when do you think the wedding will be?” Robert asked them both.

Cora broke away from her conversation with Sybil. “Oh don’t rush them, my dear. Let them decide.”

Mary felt that suffocating feeling again. The one that made her run towards her window and crave any sort of fresh air.

“I’m sure we’ll discuss it on our own, Robert.” Matthew said, placing a hand on Mary’s knee. However, Mary couldn’t help but think that his hand placement felt much different than it had in the past.

Mary looked at Matthew who gave her a small smile. “You must be tired my dear.” He said.

Mary, with her wide doe eyes nodded. “Yes, actually, I am. I think I’ll turn in.” She said, grasping Matthews hand once again.

She said goodnight to her family and made her way up the stairs to her room.

Upon closing the door her mind did feel tired from the evening she immediately pulled the bell for Anna.

She paced back and forth in her room awaiting her arrival when she was there.

They stared at one another as they had done so many times before.

“I’m sorry.” Anna said simply. “I’m not sure what came over me…”

Mary crossed the room and met her in the middle. “My grandmother knows.”

Anna’s eyes widened with fear.

“The other evening she said to me… I wasn’t the first to fall for a beautiful blonde…and then she said…Anna is quite beautiful is she not…” Mary finished pushing her fingers into Anna’s hair.

Anna’s face was full of confusion. “The Dowager…said that to you?”

Mary kissed her lightly and pulled back to meet her gaze. “It seems I am not the first to fall for someone of the fairer sex.”

This made Anna giggle. “You’re grandmother thinks I am beautiful does she?” Anna reached up and placed her arms across Mary’s shoulders. “Is that why she said so…so plainly this evening in front of everyone?”

“I’d dare a guess but yes.” Mary leaned in and kissed her again.

They stayed swaying in the middle of the room kissing slowly until Anna once again regained control. “I do not believe I’ll be able to use my hands the way you desire tonight my love.”

Mary sighed. “Oh but it could be quite quick my darling.” She dared her.

“Mary I know I shall be scorned by Carson and Ms.Hughes upon leaving here.”

Mary sighed and turned around to let Anna start to take the delicate dress off of her and before she got further than placing her hands on the back of her neck the door opened.

It was Cora.

Anna stepped away from Mary and adjusted herself into service stances. Her hands clasped in front of her and bowed her head. “Lady Grantham.” She said.

However, the reaction she expected did not arrive. “Oh Anna, no need for that thank you for standing up for my daughter this evening ... .Robert can be so cross when it comes to the estate, but you might have persuaded him to listen to the women in his life for once…A man with three daughters should know better.” she finished.

Mary was facing her mother with some concern in her eyes. “Anna was about to ready me for bed, Mama, what can I do for you?” She said faltering in her voice slightly.

Cora looked adoringly at her first born.

“I’ll take my leave and return soon, My Lady.” Anna said, making for the door.

“No, Anna you will do no such thing.” Cora said.

Anna stalled in her steps and looked at Mary. “Of course your ladyship.”

Cora looked pointedly at her daughter. “I wished you would have told me.”

Mary inhaled through her nose and out her mouth loudly and annoyed. “Told you what, Mama?”

“That you and Anna were together.”

The silence in the room was palpable. Anna’s eyes widened and immediately found Mary’s who were wide with fear.

Mary decided to lay herself bare. “Nothing will be done to Anna’s job nor her character here.” Her voice was deep trying to instill some fear in her mother. “You must promise me this, Mama.”

Cora looked at Anna with such tenderness Anna didn’t think she would ever say anything otherwise. “No, my darling daughter, I would never do that.”

Cora reached Mary and grabbed her hands. “I just wished you felt like I could be one to be told this secret of yours.”

Anna stood off silently watching their interactions with such a desire to flee the situation, but if they were to begin to show the others in the house of their relationship this would be the starting line.

“How could I? When you told me I was to marry Matthew not days ago?’ Mary said with irritation.

“Mary, I was not aware you were already in love.”

She looked again at Anna.

“Which I am rightfully assuming you are, correct?”

Anna answered. “Yes, your ladyship….”

“Well then.” Cora said. “You must tell Matthew that you are unable to wed him…however….I do think he might already know, especially with your display this evening.”

Mary started crying and Anna walked quickly over and placed her hand on her arm.

“My sweetheart I won't force you to marry someone you have no desire for whatsoever…I thought maybe…oh…when…” Cora was failing with her words.

“When what, mama?’ Mary said with her haughtiness.

“Well…some years ago…and since then you haven’t been able to keep your eyes off of her.” She nodded towards Anna.

At this Anna smiled and felt another surge of boldness. “It seems you were more transparent as you thought, Mary.”

Cora smiled and laughed to herself. “Mary…it will not be easy for either of you. I’m not sure how it will play out.”

Mary placed her hand on Anna’s that was still on her arm and then said “Oh Mama.” And she fell forward and hugged her mother.

“My sweet daughter, you didn’t think I would hate you for simply loving someone as lovely as Anna?” Cora said, looking over Mary’s shoulders at Anna.

Mary started to cry more. “It is forbidden by the laws, why shouldn’t I assume the worst?”

Cora looked at her with such a love Anna was envious of that type of parental adoration.

“Just because it is forbidden does not mean it doesn't exist nor does it mean it isn’t possible…however it will be tricky…especially when it comes to your father.”

Mary wiped her eyes. “Oh why doesn’t Edith marry Matthew…then he can have the heir he wants.”

Cora laughed. “I can assure you Matthew does not want to marry your sister.”

“Mary.” Anna said silently drawing their attention. “I will wait for you…as long as you need.”

Cora smiled at Anna. “It seems as if you’ve already found what you were looking for.” She held her daughters shoulders at an arm's length.

Mary reached for Anna’s hand and pulled her close. “Oh Mama….I have.”

Anna felt so exposed in this situation she didn’t dare make any more notions towards her lover.

Cora looked at the both of them and smiled again. “I only want to see you happy my dear…”

Anna and Mary looked instantly at each other. “I am happy.” Mary said.

“Sybil told me…despite my allegations…I knew Anna loved you as much when she stood up for you against your father.” Cora said.

“Your ladyship I do apologize for that as well it was not my place to speak up so boldly-” Anna started.

“No but you’re wrong. It was your place…we always must stick up for those we love.” Cora knelt her chin down. “I’ll say my goodnights and let you finish your evening.”

She leaned in and kissed Mary’s cheek. “I can help with your father…just make sure you tell dear Matthew…”

She turned and left the room, closing the door taking one last look at them.

The silence in the room was loud until Mary faced Anna.

“Well then…I guess we’re on our way aren’t we my love?”

Anna placed one of her hands on Mary’s face. “Hush and kiss me already.”

*****

Cora slipped into her bed next to her husband.

“I’m still not over the maid speaking to me in such a way.” He said, grabbing the book from the bedside table.

“Robert. Her name is Anna.”

He shut the book quickly after opening it. “I know her name, but all the same I sure felt ganged up on this evening.” He softly looked at his wife. “ I only want the best for Mary and I wish she could see how much it would help if she married Matthew.”

Cora leaned into him contemplating his words knowing what she now knew. “ Sometimes the right person for us is not the most obvious…maybe pay attention more.” She pulled back and turned over. “Goodnight, Robert.”

“What does that even mean?’

“Goodnight, Robert.”

Chapter Text

After readying Mary for bed…and many interruptions from her to do so… Anna went down to the servants hall knocking on Ms.Hughes door. “I assumed I would be summoned so I’m here before that could be done.” Mr. Carson was also sitting with her.

“Do not ever disrespect his lordship in that way again, Anna. I’m not sure what has gotten into you as of late but I can say to not let it happen ever again else you’ll be let go with no reference. It is not your place to talk to-”

“Oh enough already. Goodness knows. Anna, I assume you are aware to not repeat what happened this evening?’ Ms. Hughes said.

Anna knelt her head. “Yes.”

“Well then that’s settled. Let’s be done with it then.” Ms.Hughes said looking pointedly at Carson. “Anna you are dismissed and after dressing Lady Mary you have the day off as well as the next one.”

Anna nodded. “Thank you.”

She left quickly, noting that Mr.Carson’s expression was nothing less than indignant.

****

Mary laid in bed once again struggling to fall asleep. She wanted Anna with her again. She shouldn’t dare do what she had done…seek her out. Anna had to wake much earlier than she ever did and not only that from what transpired in the evening it seemed even more daring to enter her room and pull her from her bed-

Mary’s door opened.

She sat up with a startle and saw her.

Anna locked the door and faced her.

Mary left her bed and quickly was in front of Anna.

“I was just thinking…how I could find you in my bed…”Mary kissed her. “And here you are ... my darling you walked across the house by yourself.”

“Mary…” Is all Anna could say as she knelt down and grasped her nightgown and pulled it up over Mary’s head. “Our secret.” She pulled the gown off completely leaving her naked in the cold moonlight. “Should no longer be a secret…whomever saw me…if they did…I’m willing to live in sin with it.” She kissed Mary’s collar bone hearing Mary exhale a sigh that sounded like she had been holding within her all day. “I love you.”

Mary also knelt down and grabbed the bottom of Anna’s nightgown and pulled it up over her so they both stood naked. Mary pulled her close and pressed her forehead against Anna’s. “My darling.” She picked up Anna’s hand and held it against their chests. “Please lay against me.”

Anna followed her crawling into the large bed and they held one another for a long time.

Anna looked into Mary’s eyes and then pushed her gently on her back and leaned up on her elbow reaching down towards Mary’s most sensitive point noting that it was already ready for her.

“I love you.” She whispered, kissing the side of her face as she began to move her hand slowly as Mary exhaled.

Her hand moved delicately. Feeling all the soft parts looking down onto Mary’s face. “I love you.” She said again.

Mary exhaled, reaching up with one hand and cradled Anna’s face in her own. “I love you…”

Anna moved her fingers quickly and gently drawed out the sounds she craved to hear once again…sounds she would never tire of hearing. “Mary…”She kissed her ear and then her hair and then her neck. “I love you…”

With the movements of Anna’s hand Mary started to unravel. “Don’t leave me please…don’t….” Mary gulped when Anna entered her. “Oh god please…” She moved her hips up into Anna’s hand. “Don’t leave me…I love you so…” She said in between trying to regain her breath.

Continuing her motions, Anna moved her hand quicker, watching Mary’s face adoringly.

“I won’t my love….I won’t leave you…” She kissed her cheek lighty.

Mary’s gasps were closer together and Anna knew she was close to coming. She pressed her hand harder and further into her. “I won’t leave you my love.” She said hovering over her as she made her lover squirm.

Mary opened her beautiful eyes and looked at Anna with a pleading and grabbed onto her face covering her mouth with hers and Anna felt tears in the kiss.

“My Mary.” Anna said, kissing her as she felt her climax approach.

“Yours. Your Mary…” She was unfolding rapidly. “Only yours..”

Mary opened her eyes and kissed Anna before softly letting out one of Anna's favorite sounds into her mouth.

Holding her palm over her until she came down from her orgasm, Anna finally placed her hand on her side kissing her.

Mary regained a semblance of posture and smiled at her lover. “Oh my, I wasn’t expecting that this evening…”

Anna grinned back. “I so love being able to make you feel so pleasant.”

Mary turned on her side and grabbed Anna so she was close to her. “I so love you doing so.”

Marry hummed into her for sometime, swishing her feet together kissing Anna’s skin in every way she could.

“Mary….” Anna said, drawing her attention.

“Yes?” She stopped her exploring of Anna’s body.

“With my past…I said I’d tell you so I will…”

Mary’s attention was fully focused, nodding silently for her to continue.

“My stepfather…well he ... ..hurt me in very…various ways… he took care of us and mother so I never said anything until one day I didn’t want to be touched by him anymore and cut him and left home.” Anna said not making eye contact with Mary.

Mary was suddenly surging with an anger she had never felt. “Why did your mother not do a thing about it? Did she not know? Who is this man can we-”

“I didn’t want us to not be supported financially. My mother needed it and so did my sister and myself. I put up with it as long as I could.” She finished finally looking up at Mary.

Her eyes were as angry as she had ever seen them. “I would have him hanged.” She said holding Anna tighter. “For…for the things…he…” she failed at her words. “My love.” She said pulling her deeper into her and held her against her chest. “Oh my god Anna…I’ll..” Mary said, lifting her chin gently up to meet her eyes. “I will always keep you safe…I promise my love.”

Anna smiled. “I know.”

Mary pulled her back to her and held her kissing the top of her head. I would have that man murdered. Mary thought.

“Thank you for the blanket by the way.” Anna said.

Mary was pulled out of her murderous thoughts and looked at Anna’s face. “Oh…I am glad Gwen finally gave it to you.”

“She did the night we had our massive row about not being together…she said you had given it to her that morning.” Anna said.

“I did. And I plan on making sure the others have the same…not that it matters…I’m not running the estate ever that will be up to Matthew I suppose.” She added accepting her fate.

Anna propped herself up again. “You still don’t have to be with me…I would be okay…you deserve to-”

“Shush.” Mary covered her mouth over hers. “The only way I could even remotely accomplish anything is with you by my side…and now that Mama knows I think it might be possible…I’ll have to deal with Papa on my own…”

Anna suddenly started to giggle. “When you stood up and told him off…oh Mary…” Is all Anna could muster.

Mary started laughing too. “Well he was asking for it being so ornery towards you… shouting and insulting you in such a way I simply lost control ... .I don’t regret a bit of it.”

Anna snuggled closer to her. “It was quite valiant to be honest I was horrified I even said something in the first place…I expected to be let go on the spot.”

Mary pulled her face in. “I’d like to see him try.”

Mary did the same as Anna had and pushed her on her back and reached towards her center which was delectably wet and started moving her fingers. “Nothing will ever keep me from you.”

She moved her hand watching Anna sigh and relax into the feeling. “I will not be kept from you my love.” She said and lowered her head to one of her breast and kissed it. Anna’s breath hitched and she pressed her pelvis up towards Mary’s hand. Which was moving faster with each whine she was drawing out of Anna.

“The sounds you make…oh god…please tell them to me.” Mary said as she lent her head down covering Anna’s mouth with hers drinking in the whimpers. “The ones that sound” And she moved her hand in such a way to draw them out again. “Like this…I’ve never heard your voice so high pitched as when we are like this…don’t ever stop.” She nuzzled her face which was scrunched emitting the quiet moans.

Mary moved her fingers inside of her and Anna let out a barely stifled high pitched noise Mary hadn’t stopped thinking of. “Yes, that sound my love.” Anna continued to make the same noise.

“Mary…don’t stop.”

Mary continued faster. “I would never…” She draped her lips over her cheek. “I would never stop.”

Pushing her hand deeper she watched Anna wanting to memorize her face as she was in such a state.

“Mary….” She said pleadingly.

Mary quickened her movements. “I am all yours, Anna.” and at that Anna pressed her hips up pushing Mary’s fingers deeper and cried out as she came.

Mary waited to move her hand from Anna’s center and then placed her hand on her hip pulling her close again.

“Gods Mary, you make me…” Anna kissed Mary’s shoulder lazily and they once again were laying with their eyes locked in the silent and safe confines of their bedroom.

“I love you with all of my heart, Anna.” Mary said.

Anna noticed her pupils were once again so wide her eyes were dark.

“Don’t give up on me please.” She said in desperation.

Anna playfully pulled on her hair. “How could I?”

Mary laughed.

“Oh god, Anna. I want to fold you into my arms every single night and wake up to you every single morning.”

Anna hummed in agreement. “Mary. You said the Dowager knows of us…and Sybil…and now your mother…Gwen…Thomas…these types of secrets don’t last long in their silence.” She said, looking seriously at her. “Soon it will no longer be a secret….I heard the others talking about you in the servants hall the other night and I know I will be looked at differently but I want you to know I only care about your…safety and-”

Mary kissed her.

“Mary really-”

Mary kissed her again.

“My darling do you not think I am even remotely scared of them? Heavens I sent one poor boy into fits just asking where you were.”

Anna couldn't stifle her laughter. “Oh I know and that man is still talking about it.”

They once again pressed their faces into the pillow to assuage their laughter.

Mary snuggled into her. “Am I really so terrifying?”

Anna once again laughed into her skin. “Oh my love you certainly can be…it’s one of my favorite things about you to be honest.”

Mary looked at her almost offended with that shade of anger in her eyes, “and what makes me so terrifying?”

This only fueled Anna’s laughter.

“You are doing it at this very minute, Mary”

Mary’s mouth was agape and then they both laughed before pressing their faces into the pillow once again.

After controlling themselves Anna asked, “what is it anyways.” she played with Mary’s fingers and her hair.

“What is what darling?” Mary drawled leaning in and kissing her neck.

“Why do you even love someone as low born as I?” Anna said.

Mary stopped her motions and sat up propping herself up with her elbow. She was looking to Anna’s eyes for some other question before seriously considering an answer.

“I just….I do not see it that way.” She pressed her hand against her face. “I just… I never even thought of that aspect to be honest.” She seriously looked confused. “I have only ever seen how strong and…beautiful and…caring you are… I’ve never met someone who ever saw me for anything other than cold hearted and a bitch.” She added which made Anna grab the hand holding her face. “No, it’s true…I am not kind…but you somehow have brought out such a softer side of myself…You have always loved me in a way I’ve never known…Anna.” She said. “Anna…I am the best version of myself when I am with you, darling.” she ended.

Anna sighed, bringing Mary’s face close and kissed her.

“Can I stay with you for longer, Mary?”

Mary wrapped her arms around Anna leaning her head against Anna’s.

“I would have you stay with me here forever I could…Yes please…Stay with me my love.” She kissed her again. “Stay with me forever…stay with me forever.” She kept kissing her as they fell asleep.

***

Mary woke up when the sunlight was barely caressing her windows and she softly nudged Anna.

“My darling…” She kissed her face and pulled Anna’s hair back from draping over her face. “My love…”

Anna stirred. “Oh I have to go don’t I?’ She said, nuzzling her face into Mary’s neck.

“I’m afraid you must if you want to avoid being seen in my bed…Let me walk you back please?’ Mary said, kissing the back of Anna’s neck.

They sat up in tired heaviness. Anna picked up Mary’s nightgown with her eyes barely open “Mlady”

Mary stifled a tired laugh. “Easiest dressing you've ever done.” She leaned into Anna’s hands.

“Pulling it off is much easier.” Anna reached down for her own groaning in her exhaustion when Mary picked it up and folded it over her small frame.

“I hate to see you go.”

Anna sighed and leaned into Mary trying to regain herself. “Well…I dare say we could do this tomorrow…I’d…I could sneak off in the night until we figure this out, Mary.”

Mary kissed her so deeply and pressed her body up against the door Anna lost her footing and was only held upright from Mary.

“I hope someday…We can be together my love…my darling…now…let me walk you back…”

They exited the room and the hallway was draped in moonlight and Anna led them towards the servants door and up the stairs and only when they were at the doorway to the women's dorms did Mary leave.

“I love you” she whispered and pressed a silent kiss on her hand.

Anna watched her leave and entered the hallway closing the doorway behind her when she was faced with Ms.Hughes in her nightgown.

Her face was full of confusion and also resolve. “Anna.” She nodded towards her dorm.

Anna walked towards her and went to open her door when Ms.Hughes said to her so silently. “We shall talk in the morning so I can put all my speculations to rest…”

******
Anna woke up a few hours after getting back to her room and immediately was flooded with the fear of what Ms. Hughes would say to her…would she out herself and Lady Mary.

Gwen got out of bed with a groan, “oh were you off with the Lady again last night…I heard you leave…” She rubbed her eyes.

Anna stood up and went to the wash bin. “It’s the last time I promise, Gwen.” Anna went to her wardrobe and pulled out her morning uniform.

Gwen was washing her face and followed suit. “How will you ever be together?” She said, wrapping her hair up.

Anna was looping her apron over her dress thinking the same thing. “Gwen I don’t know but let’s not speak of it now…”

They left their room and made their way down to the servants hall where Anna sat still glowing slightly from her being held by Mary. Her arms fell so perfectly around her small body. Her skin felt so tasteful on her lips. Her sound she made that she was the conductor of made Anna’s eyes close at just thinking about it.

“Anna.” Ms. Hughes approached her. “A word.”

Oh I completely forgot that I was caught.

“Yes.” Anna stood and followed her into her office.

They sat and Anna looked pointedly at the floor avoiding the stern gaze.

“Anna….I won't pretend that I didn’t see what I did so…I’ll just be out with it…”

Ms.Hughes sighed and straightened her body. “What you are engaging in is not only illegal but very much offensive to the family you are serving. Anna, I ought to let you go right here and now…however…”

Anna’s eyes were glazed over with tears thinking of having to leave without saying goodbye to Mary.

“Ms. Hughes…I know you saw…I know what you saw…But…Don’t say anything to Carson or his Lordship…I don’t wan’t Lady Mary to be in any sort of conflict especially since she is engaged.”

Ms.Hughes became indignant at that. “Especially because she is engaged? Anna…This is wildly beyond my realm of understanding and I don’t believe anything will make me find it appropriate!” She said leaning forward. “Anna….” Ms.Hughes stammered. “You will end this or else I shall have to report you.”

Anna bowed her head. “But see…I can’t…I love her.”

Ms. Hughes stared at her. “Anna… you can never speak those words…Lady Mary ... .I'm not sure how I should even scold you.”

Anna placed her hands in her lap. “If you are to let me go then do so. Just please tell Lady Mary. ‘

Ms. Hughes looked at her. “Anna…I won't tell anyone because I’m not sure how to even say it!” She exhaled. “Now…How long ... .How long has this been going on? She asked, standing up from her desk.

Anna decided to be as transparent as she could. “For as long as I’ve been here, Ms. Hughes ... .It's just…only really…started further since recently however.” Anna held her face in her hands, starting to cry.

Ms. Hughes reached her softly. “Oh Anna…I’m not even sure what to say except… oh my…” She smoothed Anna’s back with her hand. “I sure hope his Lordships doesn’t know…”

Anna lifted her head up. “His Ladyship does…so does Lady Sibyl…and as well as the Dowager…” Anna cried into her hand trying to calm herself. “Please just leave it and let it take its course…” Anna pleaded.

Ms.Hughes took this information in with heart. “Well…that’s quite a lot of people who love Lady Mary who know about…you…” She knelt town and pulled Anna’s hands off of her tear ridden face.

“I don’t understand it but I do not think that any type of love as the one you have is wrong. Anna, you have Lady Mary on your side and I will say she is not one to contend with.”

Anna laughed into her palm. How many people were so scared of Mary?

“She can be quite scary when she wants.” Anna said, wiping her eyes.

“Yes she can be. You must be careful however…this isn’t something to be delicate about, Anna. If anyone found out and wasn’t as agreeable as I am…. then…the law would be informed.”

Anna agreed silently. “Just please promise you’ll protect Mary first if something ever comes of it.”

Anna’s eyes were glossed with tears. Ms.Hughes couldn’t understand how she was so protective of someone she sometimes found so uppity.

“I promise, Anna.” She held her hand and lifted her up. “Now. I think it’s time for you to go dress the girls.”

Anna wiped her face. “ You won’t tell Mr. Carson?”

“No Anna. I won't tell him…not yet…however I feel this won't be a secret much longer ... .the way Lady Mary stormed down here the other evening makes much more sense…” She smiled at Anna and placed her hand on her cheek.

“Thank you.” Anna straightened her dress and left her office.

Ms.Hughes was left thinking how she would try and make Carson understand when she was drawn to the kitchen. “Oh just one moment for heaven’s sake.”

****

Anna dressed Edith in silence and dressed Sibyl in a coy silence and when she went to dress Mary, Sibyl said, “Enjoy.”

Anna couldn’t help but smile and give the youngest daughter a coy look.

She knocked and entered Mary’s bedroom. Mary was waiting for her and crossed the room and kissed her harshly.

“My love.” She said kissing her again.

Anna had to pry herself out of Mary’s arms giggling. “Mary my dear please.” She said in between kisses on her neck.

“Oh I apologize…I was under the impression you enjoyed my lips on your skin.”

Anna flushed. “I do.” She pulled Mary’s gown off and thought about saying something devious. “I’m just shocked at having to peel this gown off you twice in one day…when I did it last night I was able to do all sorts of things to you…”

Mary lifted the gown off and turned around. “And what about now?”

Anna quickly put the corset around her arms and started lacing the back of it. “I’m not sure you would want to know… how would you go about your day if I told you?” she kissed the back of her neck.

Anna grabbed the dress off the bed and began fitting Mary who stood still noting Anna’s odd demeanor.

“What happened?”

Anna stopped.

“What?”

“Something has caused you to be hesitant just tell me.” Mary said in her deep haughtiness.

Anna continued fasting the dress on Mary’s body and moved to the front of her and looked into her eyes.

“Ms. Hughes now knows…she caught me sneaking back to my room…and spoke to me this morning…she won't say anything, but she does feel it’s wrong and you deserve better…” Anna finished and sat Mary in her chair to do her hair. “She was as kind as she could be…She didn’t hate me which was fine…she didn’t ….” Anna faltered… “She didn’t fire me…which I will say isn’t what I am afraid of…Mary I’m the most afraid of something happening to you.” Anna pulled Mary’s hair up and pinned it into beautiful bundles and kissed the top of her head.

Mary grabbed Anna’s hand. “We could go.”

“What?”

Mary turned towards her fully. “We could go…We could go somewhere and run…I don’t know what we would do but…I …..Anna…”

Anna knelt down in front of Mary. “Mary…I think you should marry Matthew.”

At this Mary stood up, her hair falling over her shoulders pulling Anna with her.

“What?”

“You should marry Matthew and be done with me mlady.” Anna said, barely holding back her tears. “It’s safe…and you can inherit your title and…Mary I am the one holding you back.” Anna paced back from her.

Mary felt a surge of anger not towards Anna but towards everything else. “You don’t mean that.” she heaved and started to pace the room. “Anna, tell me you don’t mean that?” She looked directly at her with those dark amber eyes.

Anna wanted to say otherwise. No, Mary. I don’t mean that. Please run away with me and love me forever and hold me as long as you can. I'm not sure what to do without you.

“I do mean it, Mary. I’m keeping you from so much….” Anna said in a small voice.

“Anna!” Mary shouted approaching her. “Anna, don't for a second think that how much I love you isn’t enough for me to change my entire world. I will. I’ll leave this all behind if I have to my darling my love please don’t think I won’t ever want you and I will have you in my arms whenever I fucking want.” Mary was shaking with anger and using language she must have learned from her American mother. “Anna. Please.”

Anna looked at her with her blue eyes glossy with desperation. “ Mary…Don’t ever let me be the one to-”

Mary kissed her. She wrapped her arms around Anna’s small frame grasping her fingers into her sides. Pulling her so close Anna’s hands wrapped around her as well.

“My darling…if you asked me now I would leave with you…I would pack a small bag and go with you…I cannot be without you…ever…” Mary kissed Anna's jaw.

Anna who gave up the attempt to persuade Mary against their love affair smiled. “Okay…Okay!” She laughed and looked up into Mary’s eyes. “I love you too! My love I just don’t know how it can ever be anything more than-”

Mary kissed her deeply. “ You leave that to me.” She said in her sultry velvet Mary voice. “I won’t be kept from you…not ever.” She finished with such a harsh tone Anna was shocked and then laughed.

“Oh what’s so funny now?” Mary asked.

Anna pulled Mary close. “When I’m told how scary you are I never understand it however…I can see where they’re coming from…you do sound scary.” Anna said.

Mary gaped at her and then they both laughed.

“Damn. Well…I can’t help it I suppose.” Mary said turning and sitting so Anna could finish her hair. “Well what would you expect of someone ... .suddenly thrown with the thought of losing their beloved. Absurd.”

Anna tightly knotted Mary’s hair up and pressed her hands on her shoulders. “My love, I find it such an act of devotion how upset you get when it comes to anything concerning myself.”

Mary stood up and readied herself to go downstairs and her face only showed disdain.

“I’m telling them tonight..”

Anna put a hand against her chest. “No you will not… not like this.”

Mary grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Are you serving dinner tonight?”

“I think so yes, but Mary we cannot-”

“What if I did…and what if it was not so horrible…” Mary kissed Anna’s cheek. “What if… what if they didn't-”

“Mary, you have to tell his Lordship before doing anything so bold.” Anna grasped both of her arms. “Promise me you wont do anything rash tonight…they’ll banish me without a reference and I’ll never see you again.”

Mary kissed her. “If the worst happens you don't have to worry about that ever my love ... .my love.” She kissed her again pushing her against the back of her door. “Okay….I wont say anything…but what if we just ran away…” Mary added which made Anna laugh.

“Oh and where would we go then My Lady?” She said with a bow.

Mary pulled her hands into hers. “Anywhere we could be together.” and kissed her.

Anna hummed. “Mary…I must go…”

Mary hummed as well. “I’ll see you at dinner again?”

Anna nodded as she bobbed in the bliss of her lover's kiss. “Yes…I think so… William is not back yet from his mothers burial…so I supposed I’ll be wanted for dinner service again however I’ll be off for the two days after…So I won’t be the one dressing you…” Anna rubbed her face into Mary’s neck.

Mary pulled her fully into her arms. “Well then I suppose I’ll have to walk in the gardens while you’re away and kiss you until you fall into the grass.”

Anna laughed “Oh is that how we’ll see one another then?”

“Imagine me laying you down next to the flowers…” Mary started kissing her with abandon. “Wouldn’t you like that my darling?”

Anna flustered. “Of course…I’ll see…how…oh Mary…I have to go…” She said, sighing softly in between kisses.

“I’ll maybe see you at dinner, my love…” Anna extracted herself from Mary’s embrace.

“You look quite beautiful.” She added before shutting the door.

Chapter Text

Anna went down to the servants hall and sat at the table having her dinner as Ms. Hughes made small glances at her that were not unacknowledged from Thomas. She had tried many times to end this…Mary had refused…how could she refuse this type of love. She thought.

“Anna, you'll be serving once again as William is not back.” Ms.Hughes said in a different tone than she had previously. “I hope tomorrow and the next day you can finally enjoy off.”

Anna smiled at her politely knowing that her words meant more. “Yes, Ms. Hughes.. I appreciate it, thank you.”

Would she meet Mary in the gardens and would she be able to lay under her slender body hidden in the tall grass. She imagined them kissing each other languidly in the solace of some secluded area. Pulling her delicate gowns off of her body and-

“Anna?’ Thomas said.

“Yes?”

He pushed his cigarette into the tray on the table. “You’re serving once again, you promise not to say anything out of line?” He said cheekily.

“No.” She said and followed him up the stairs.

*****

Mary sat next to her sister and mother once again who were very much aware of her feelings towards her maid.

“Mama…Please do not say anything to cause her job or character to be jeopardized…” Mary said to her mother quietly as they sat at the dinner table.

Cora sat silently and looked over at her daughter. “My dear I would never do that to you…however…”

They sat around the table and Robert jovial lifted his glass, “I am so happy about this engagement my daughter.”

Mary lifted her eyes to her father. “I’m not.”

The silence permeated through the room.

“My daughter, whatever do you mean?” He said accusingly.

Mary hung her head and couldn’t find words to follow what she had just said.

“Robert. Let’s leave this for now. “ Cora said, making eyes with the Dowager.

“Yes, my dear let’s leave this for after dinner ... .oh here it is finally…and oh… it’s Anna once again, Carson please promise this poor girl will have a day off soon.” She said.

“My Lady once again our footman is still-” Carson started to say.

“Do not apologize to me, apologize to poor Anna who is working so much.” The dowager said, looking over at her.

Anna did her normal routine of making her way around the room with the wine with polite thank you’s from the family and when she was at Mary’s side she couldn’t help herself.

“My love.” She said so silently Mary barely heard it and before she stood back up to move to the next person Mary’s hand wrapped around her arm and slid off just as quickly.

Looking at her for a second she proceeded around the table.

Mary was flushed and couldn’t help staring a hole into Anna. Carson started to note it.

Her gaze was unfettered. Unable to keep off Anna.

The family regained their conversation and Anna stood at her spot next to Thomas not leaving Mary’s gaze.

Thomas nudged Anna and they left the dining room while they ate and readied for their next course.

******

Anna grabbed the crystal craft of wine for the dining room and adjusted her white gloves.

Thomas looked at her knowingly. “Anna, alright then?” He said.

She nodded. I wish I could grab Mary and lean her head back and kiss her so deeply and tell them I was the one who loved her and that we should be -

“Anna?” Thomas said, kicking her softly.

She nodded again.

They made their way into the dining room and Anna smiled at the all expected response from the Dowager who also knows about Mary and myself.

She was suddenly so close to Mary. She wanted so badly to kiss her neck and grab her hair-

“My love.” She said so softly only Mary heard it and then Mary’s silked hand was grasping her arm and sliding off just as quickly as it happened.

Anna once again made her way around the table and stood next to Thomas listening to the blabbering that was being chummed around the table when she was being ushered out of the dining room.
*****

“Are you both always so dramatic with one another?” Thomas said as he and Anna stepped into the cold courtyard. He lit a cigarette and handed it to Anna.

Anna took it and laughed. “Yes I am afraid we are to be honest…it’s all very intense…” she sat down next to Thomas as they had done so many times.

“Hmm…well…I am just an observer but Lady Mary not taking her eyes off you has become something the rest of the family can’t ignore…” He handed Anna the flask they had shared many times now.

Anna stood up. Thomas found the site of Anna smoking and drinking out of a flask acute to a butterfly drinking the nectar of a puddle. “Does Lady Mary know you’re such a rascal after dinner service?” he added.

Anna stopped pacing and threw her cigarette on the ground and pushed the flask back at Thomas who was laughing.

“For your information no she isn’t aware that I am so devious…well…I guess she might be.”

They both chuckled and she took her seat next to him sighing, stretching her legs. “I’m not even sure what the hell I am doing…what is to happen. She calls off the engagement and then we are secretly together… in the Abbey? No. Would her father disown her? I’m not sure…Lady Grantham was so kind…and the Dowager knowing of us…”

“Oh hells what did she say?” Thomas said, handing her another cigarette.

“Oh I had forgotten I hadn’t told you that small detail…she told Mary…”

“Oh Mary? “ He said teasingly.

“Yes. Mary…that…Mary wasn’t the first to fall for a blonde and that I was quite beautiful!” Anna said, sitting once again next to him.

Thomas coughed on his inhale. “I beg your pardon?”

“Yes. The Dowager said how beautiful I am and that she had also fallen for a blonde…”

Thomas found this tidbit highly amusing and started laughing more than she had ever seen.

“What is ever so funny? Oh you find this funny do you?” Anna said grabbing his flask from his hands. “You find my predicament so funny.”

Thomas regained himself. “Oh I would pay money to be there when Mary heard that her grandmother thought you were beautiful.”

“Thomas! This is very serious!”

Thomas and Anna looked at one another and then started falling into fits of laughter.

Thomas finally pulled it together. “Well then…I’m sure someday soon I’ll be calling you M’Lady.”

Anna pushed him gently. “Oh stop. I could never…I’m sure whatever will be done is just me being her lady’s maid forever which isn’t so bad…I get to be with her at least…her aunt is unmarried maybe Mary will be okay with that life as well.”

Thomas tossed his smoke on the ground and Anna did the same.

“I think at this point Anna, Lady Mary would do anything for you.”

At that the hallboy opened the door to usher them back inside.

“Yeah yeah…fuck off…” Thomas pulled Anna up and they went back inside. “So when you undress Mary how is it you make it back down ever?

“Thomas!”

******

“Mary.”

Mary was pulled out of her daydream…holding Anna and maybe laying in the grass…giving her soft kisses and smiling into her alabaster skin.

“Yes?’ She said looking up at the person addressing her.

“It is so nice to see you so happy again…” Cora said with a glint in her eyes as Sibyl sat next to her.

Sibyl sat straight and looked at her sister. “Mary, we can make it work. I think we can.” She smiled with her adoring face.

Mary smiled too and then faltered. “I don’t think I have a choice…I am in love.” She cradled the glass in her hand as her father was talking to Edith and the Dowager. “I have thought about running away, I won't lie…”

Cora stood up and sat next to her on the couch. “No. You will not run. You will live here until…well…Oh Mary I’m not sure…” She placed a hand on her shoulder. “But I won’t watch you marry someone you aren’t even attracted to.” She whispered. “Maybe you and…Maybe you can go to America to stay with my mother. She is so much more accepting than your father.” Cora whispered again.

Mary thought on this. “Well…I have thought of that as well…but…I fear I don’t care as much as I used to…” She smiled thinking of Anna’s eyes glistening with joy and her long hair falling over her shoulders…their easy silence…the way they could make one another laugh so simply. The way Mary wanted to make her safe from everyone and Anna wanted to keep Mary safe.

“I don’t think I was prepared for this type of affection, my dears.” Mary said to her sister and mother.

Cora looked over at Robert who started to tune into them being clustered together.

“I hope we are discussing the topic of Mary and Matthew?’

The room went silent.

“Robert. Please let Mary decide when her and him are discussed and when she wants to share it with you.”

Robert scoffed looking at Sibyl, Cora, and Mary. He sat his drink down and approached Mary.

“Mary is there something you aren’t telling me?”

At this the Dowager stood up having witnessed this interaction from across the room. “Son, I'd like the car to be taken around for me please.”

Robert looked questiongly to all of the women in the room. “Of course Mama.” He left.

Edith perked up. “I feel I’m the last one to know whatever it is you’re discussing.”

Mary lowered her gaze. “It is because you shouldn’t.”

Cora looked at Sibyl before turning to Edith. “My dear, let’s not fight.”

“Does this have to do with why Mary’s maid was so adamant the other evening?” Edith said.

“It’s nothing to do with you.” Mary said so deeply her mother and sister could tell she was on the edge of being her most evil self.

Robert entered the room. “Well…I think I shall turn in…” He looked curiously at all his girls.

“Yes my dear I think we should.” Cora hugged and kissed all three of her daughters.

Mary instantly started towards the door before Edith stopped her. “I don’t care by the way….” She said before leaving, turning her head down. “ Just don’t ruin her life.” Edith walked towards her bedroom.

****

Anna was in Edith's bedroom and it was quiet as it normally was she silently undressed her. The conversation with the middle Crawley sister was always polite but nothing more.

Edith turned around and Anna pulled her corset off and handed her the nightgown and she sat down so Anna could un pin her hair. Edith was just as beautiful as the other sisters Anna never understood how she never had any suitors.

“I hope my sister is treating you well.” She said as Anna was braiding her red hair.

“My lady?” Anna said, confused.

“She can be quite cruel and I do hope she is kind to you…you don’t deserve anything else.” Lady Edith said and as Anna tied the bow at the end of her braid she nodded.

“I’m not sure as to what you are referring to my lady?”

Edith turned around in her seat looking at Anna. “I saw you dancing in the hall.”

Anna’s face instantly became red and she looked down.

“My lady that was….”

“Anna…I’m not sure what you even see in her. She’s so…mean ... .but I don’t understand why you’d want to tie yourself to some sort of life as the one you’d have with my cruel sister.” She stood up and walked over to her bed picking up a book. “However…she…seems to be…somehow…better….” Edith said.

“My Lady.” Anna could muster nodding and left the room for Sibyl’s room and she always enjoyed talking to Sibyl.

“You’re quieter than normal, Anna.” Sibyl said softly.

Anna didn’t know where to start. “My Lady…”

“Just call me Sibyl please.”

Anna looked at her in the mirror as she was braiding her hair. Her job. She was doing her job.

“Lady Edith seems to have…she now knows of Lady Mary and myself and…I think she was trying to be kind but she and Mary…sorry Lady…”

Sibyl turned around. “Oh don’t pay attention to Edith. She can be just as nasty as Mary.” At this Anna and Sibyl both laughed.

“Well…She actually did remind me a lot of Mary. Why are they so opposed.?” Anna said, picking up her dress and placing it in her dresser.

Sibyl pulled her long braid around. “Oh wow. Well…I don’t actually know? Maybe they are two magnets that keep buffering off one another. I so wished they’d get along, however.” Sibyl said.

“Maybe well just maybe they are too much alike. Mary wants Edith’s life and Edith want’s Mary’s.”

Anna stood at the door smiling at Sibyl. “If only they knew.”

“Go to Mary. I know she’s most likely waiting for you….oh how romantic…I hope to have that someday.” Sibyl said, looking towards the ceiling.

Anna had to laugh at how adorable she was. “Goodnight M’Lady.”

***

Mary had started to take the pins out of her hair seeing as Anna hadn’t arrived yet when her door opened.

“I was starting to think you’d abandoned me.”

She held out one long gloved hand. “My dearest.”

Anna grabbed her nightgown and placed it on the bed. “Mary.” she started undressing Mary and as she started to take the corset off unlacing it delicately.

“You’re quiet. What has my damned sister said to you?’ Mary said with anger.

Anna scoffed. “Which one my love?”

Mary turned around as Anna pulled her corset off and folded it and placed it on the bed.

“Which one do you think?”

Mary’s face turned into the evil villian that Anna loved for some reason. “Lady Edith seems to have seen us…dancing in the hall that one night before we made love ... .she said…she doesn’t mind…however….”

Mary grabbed Anna abruptly. “Edith saw us!” Her eyes glowed with a hint of anger and shock.

Anna draped the nightgown over her. “Yes, and she was quite kind about it, Mary….why don’t you two get along if I must ask?”

Mary thought for a few minutes sitting down as Anna took her hair down fully and gave her small kisses that Mary sighed into.

“I cannot rightfully say…however…she just irritates me to such a degree…” Mary kissed Anna’s hand.

“Lady Sibyl seems to think you both are too much alike.” Anna said, wrapping her fingers into Mary’s long hair and giving her once again small kisses on the top of her head.

“Well that’s an insult.”

Anna stopped. “Mary!”

Mary turned around. “Anna!”

They both laughed and Mary stood up and gathered Anna into her arms. “So….I guess we are found out then…”

Anna tried to finish Mary’s hair but was stopped with her kissing her deeply. “My love let me-”

Mary kissed her so she was leaning up against the edge of her bed. “My love… don’t my love…me…” Mary said, smiling.

Anna giggled. “So your family knows that you’ve been having an affair with a lower class woman.”

Mary started to pull Anna’s uniform off her shoulder when Anna stopped her.

They locked eyes heavy with the things they wanted to continue with.

“It seems my love for you hasn’t gone unnoticed.” Mary said.

Anna cradled her hands close to her chest and kissed her neck and her collar bone and the top of her shoulder.

Mary sighed loudly. “My darling…can I come collect you after everyone is asleep?

Anna debated saying no but she couldn’t.

“Ms.Hughes is aware…I’ll have to sneak out…” Mary was doing wonders on her neck. “I’ll have to sneak out without her seeing she’d have me whipped in the square for it…”

Mary kissed her earlobe and pressed such a deep kiss on her cheek she pushed them onto the bed. “I’ll meet you at midnight then…at the servants door…” She breathed in pulling them up.

“Mary…”

“Anna….” She replied. “Now that I know what it is to have you with me I’m not sure I can know anything more blissful and I am addicted to it.”

Anna pushed herself away. “Well for now I need to leave…” She felt Mary’s hand grab her from behind and kissed the back of her neck.

“I’ll wait for you regardless if you do want to meet me, my love.” Mary said finally letting her go.

Anna left with one last kiss across Mary’s neck. I want to kiss her in more delicate spots. She thought.

****

Mary was wide awake watching the clock and when it became closer and closer to midnight she left her room and walked silently and opened the green servants door and up to the quarters being as quiet as she could…if she didn’t arrive that’s okay she deserves to sleep and tomorrow is her day off…oh maybe she could sleep longer maybe she could hide her in her room-

Anna was there and they shut the door and Mary once again instead of bringing her to her room immediately brought her into the moonlit front hall.

“Maybe more people will see us and we can make this secret something more daring.” Mary said, pulling her close dancing with her.

“Oh Mary…I’m not sure that’s how this will work out.” Anna said as Mary pushed her out and pulled her back in twirling her in the silence that permeated the house.

Holding her close and dancing slowly Mary kissed her. “What if though?”

Anna nodded. Mary’s beautiful brown eyes were so hopeful at this time of night.

“Yes my love…what if.” Anna twirled Mary out and pulled her back and leaned her back and then pushed her up. “Wouldn’t it be grand…doing this with music?” Anna said as they danced in silence.

Mary suddenly looked as if she was scheming her next adventure. “Yes…and I will make that happen.”

Anna suddenly stopped them. “I feel like I just continuously give you bad ideas,Mary.” She nudged them towards the staircase.

“Well…they are just such good ideas.” Mary kissed her cheek and again grabbed Anna’s hands into her bedroom.

The door was shut with such delicacy. “Anna, can I hold you?” Mary asked with her big doe eyes.

Anna crawled into bed next to her and they spent some time just touching one another. Mary’s hands pushing Anna’s blonde hair back and Anna pushing Mary’s brown locks around her ear.

“You know.” Anna started. “I must admit something.”

Mary was pulled from the reverie that was being enamored with her lover. “Oh?”

“Well..” Anna started leaning up so she was over Mary’s face. “Oh my…you are so beautiful it’s alarming sometimes.” She said.

Mary laughed. “My love, nobody is as beautiful as you!” She pulled Anna close. “What is this thing you must say to me?”

Anna shook her head. “Well…It was when you were in London when you and your sisters went for new dresses and also you had that dinner with Matthew.”

At the mention of his name Mary rolled her eyes and Anna couldn’t help but kiss her.

“Well…we were told to do a sort of deep clean on your rooms…and I was of course doing your room…since so many of the servants are terrified of you.” She added leaning down and biting her neck.

“I’m still so bewildered of that… you must tell me how scary I can be.” Mary said, draping one of her arms over Anna.

“Oh my…well… you do it so easily to be honest! It isn’t scary to me however it can be to others who do not know you like I do.”

Mary considered this. “Well…maybe that’s a good thing…anyways…what was it you were going at?” Mary kissed her before Anna could continue.

“Mmmm…Well…I was cleaning in here and I toppled over the book you were reading and there was a letter that I noticed my name at the top as it was addressed to me…” Anna said, cradling Mary’s face in her hand.

Mary suddenly got so flushed she had to look away. “Oh my oh…well…”

“I read that you loved me…before you even told me…” Anna said. “The letter was clearly addressed to me and I am so sorry…”

Mary pulled her into another deep kiss. “Sibyl told me to write it…I had completely forgotten about it to be honest….”

“Well…” Anna continued. “That afternoon you returned from London and we had our moment and I knew then…that maybe you were serious about us….” Anna put her hand under her nightgown to grab her side softly.

Mary breathed out at the touch of Anna’s hand on her bare skin. “My love..whatever words you read were all true…oh and I have many more words I’d like to tell you…” Mary wrapped her fingers in Anna’s hair.

“Oh…tell me…” Anna kissed the side of her face.

Mary hummed. “Oh that I have never felt so complete as I do when we are together like this…That for as long as I live I will never love anyone as much as I love you…hmmmm” She said, feeling Anna’s hand caress her side brushing her breast. “I meant every single word in that letter…I want you and you only. I’ll live in secrecy with you if I have to…Anna I want to be with you in every way I can…” Mary heaved out a heavy sigh relaxing under Anna’s hand caressing her as if she had never been relaxed in her entire life.

“Mary…I love you so much.” Anna said, leaning into her face nuzzling her cheek.

“Anna…” Mary sat up stilling Anna’s touch she pushed Anna onto her back gently. “I have never felt this way and I want you…”

Anna had a devilish look in her eyes. “ Oh My Lady…How do you want me then?”

“Anna, how uncouth.” She said quoting her

Anna laughed leaning back. “Mary.”

Mary pressed kisses along Anna’s jaw. “I should have known that when I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you….and wanted you to touch me …that it was over for me darling.” Mary pulled off her nightgown. Tossing it off to the floor she knelt between her knees and pulled her core close to her face. “I’ve been enamored with your altar for longer than I knew…Let me worship you….”

She pressed her mouth onto Anna’s center and tasted her for the first time lapping up the wetness that was very present. Anna let out such a sigh she wanted to let the entire house to hear. This was her lover.

“I have wanted to worship you since you first made me laugh…” Mary said as she resumed her tongue on Anna’s core. “Mmmmm” She said into her.

She continued softly and quickly moving her tongue up and down pulling sounds from Anna she had not heard before. The high pitched ones and then the deep ones were blending together into a beautiful melody. She put her hand up to her and then entered her and heard another cry from Anna that she didn’t have the ability to tell her to be quiet because she didn’t want her to.

Anna’s eyes were shut completely in bliss just the way Mary wanted. She started moving her tongue faster and reached one hand up to play with one of her nipples and pressed her other hand inside her curling her fingers up which caused Anna to gasp loudly.

“Oh fu-” Anna started stopping herself.

“My darling” Mary said into her soft core. “Let go.”

She worked faster and moved her tongue covering her core completely and Anna’s breath started becoming more erratic and Mary knew she was close.

She picked up the pace and bit down slightly on her and Anna came fast and grabbed Mary’s head pushing her face deeper into her as Mary pushed her fingers deeper into her.

Pulling her hand from her and leaving her mouth over her for a moment Mary pushed up towards Anna who immediately found her mouth with hers and kissed her deeply.

“Oh god.” She said nuzzling Mary’s hair. “That was…”

Mary kissed her. “Now you know what that feels like…as you did it to me…you taste just as brilliantly as I imagined.”

Anna coming out of her bliss leaned into Mary. “Mary..”

“Mmmm yes say my name as much as you want….” Mary said with a note of satisfaction caressing Anna’s soft arm. “I shall never tire of hearing it.”

Anna pulling herself out of her bliss giggled. “Do you think some day…you’ll regret choosing me…” Anna picked up Mary’s hand and started kissing her fingertips. “You’re giving up so much for me my dear.” Anna looked up at her.

Mary considered this for a few minutes sifting her long fingers through Anna’s.

“I will never regret anything that concerns you unless we aren’t together forever darling.” She whispered. She kissed Anna’s cheek. “Anna I’ll try and remind you every minute that I love you more than anything and if we have to leave and live somewhere in sin and I have to abandon my home… as long as I can awake to your sweet smile and fall asleep with your breath on my neck…that is enough for me to justify a fulfilling life…I’ve felt lost and trapped for my whole life and then you entered it and here we are…my darling.” Mary kissed the top of her shoulder blade. “I shall never tire of feeling your skin against my lips…I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life loving you and please know that I mean it…even now I have no regrets.”

Mary finished her quiet speech and Anna was left adoring her face smiling.

“Oh you love love me then do you?’ She said leaning on her back pulling Mary with her.

Mary laughed and put her face into the side of Anna’s hair.

“Oh…I love you…I love love you…” Mary placed small kisses along her forehead and then her neck and then her mouth. “Would you like me to remind you each moment we are together?’

Anna cocked her head to the side delightfully. “Hmmmm well ... .yes….please do.”

“Then I shall, darling.” She kissed her slowly and felt that familiar heat well up in her core.

Anna started kissing her faster and more intensely pulling Mary’s hips close to her she moved so she was on top of Mary.

“And how will you tell me?” she kissed her face. “Will you whisper it to me at dinner.” another kiss on her neck. “Will you find me in the courtyard and push me into the darkness?” another kiss. “Will we dance in the moonlight.” another kiss. “Please tell me again…” Anna said, drawing her mouth down Mary’s stomach.

Mary was losing her senses but was able to somehow answer in between Anna’s pleads.

“I’ll whisper to you at dinners that I want you…I’ll kiss you in our secret darkness…I’ll always dance with you in the moonlight…I love you.” She let out a whine beckoning Anna to continue her ventures.

Anna slid her tongue down her thigh and bit softly. “ Do you promise?” She said looking up at Mary’s face.

Mary’s eyes were dark. “Shall I repeat it like a prayer?”

Anna placed her mouth finally on Mary’s center pressing her tongue deep as she could and Mary let out such a sigh she stammered. “I’ll always…oh…I’ll always want you my darling.”

Anna ventured her tongue around the wetness and sucked against her center pulling out sounds from her lover she so loved to hear.

She hummed into her and sped up her motions hearing Mary’s breaths quicken.

“I love you…I’ll always want you…Anna…” Mary said between her increasingly audible moans.

Anna kept up her tempo and grabbed Mary’s thighs tightly, drinking her in fully now becoming autune to her sounds that told her she was close.

“Oh god…I could never want anyone else.” Mary breathed, digging her long slender fingers into Anna’s hair “Oh I’m…”

Anna slid her tongue inside and gripped her thighs tightly, feeling Mary push her hips up towards her mouth. She laid one long slow lap up against her clit and then Mary let go and came pushing her head towards her center.

Coming down she pulled Anna up to her face and kissed her regardless of the slickness on her face. She was panting and sweating slightly and put her tongue in Anna’s mouth kissing her so deeply they fell into a spell.

One that was so intoxicating time seemed to have left.

When they finally broke apart their faces were so flushed and intoxicated with love and lust Anna had to brace herself with both hands on the bed over Mary before regaining her control.

“I could do that act every single day, my love.” She knelt her head into the crook of Mary’s neck sighing like she had also climaxed.

Mary breathed out and pulled Anna up so they were face to face.

“I will always find you… in the courtyard to push you into a dark corner…and dance with you in the moonlight…and whisper how I love you so in your ear when you have to serve at dinner.” She panted out. “I love you…what else shall I tell you in my prayer of worshiping you my love.” She pressed Anna’s body so close to her they were breathing heavily together.

'What else comes to mind?’ Anna said playfully when Mary swatted her shoulder.

“I think saying I worship you at the altar of your core is enough.” Mary said in her very much annoyed voice that Anna loved to hear.

They nuzzled into each other and Mary’s hands were once again falling up and down Anna’s sides humming.

“No. I know what to say…”

Anna looked up. “Oh I thought I had bothered you with you begging?” She teased.

Mary looked at her indignantly. “I was not annoyed?”

“Oh well it certainly sounded so my love.”

Mary scoffed. “Well, maybe I won’t tell you now.” She pressed them together closer.

“No! No, tell me please.” Anna said, biting her shoulder playfully.

“Well…” Mary pulled Anna so she was draped over her as she laid on her back. “I was going to say that my life was leading up to love you.”

Anna felt her chest beat faster and her heart burst. “That cannot be true…My Lady.” she added for teasing measures.

Mary gripped her tighter. “It’s true ... .I swear it…I’ve never felt as calm as when I do when I’m with you…”

They cradled each other in the once again comfortable silence.

“Mary…What will happen when…your father knows…” Anna asked.

Mary shuffled so they were once again facing each other.

“No matter what happens…I’ll be with you.”

Anna nestled into her neck. “And I’ll be with you…and I’ll stand by you forever…”

They fell into sleep holding one another with Mary’s hands softly tracing circles on Anna’s soft skin as her breaths became more steady.

“My darling…”

*****

Anna was escorted back to her room by her lover and snuck as quietly as she could into her bed before the early morning when she’d have to awake. Her belly full of butterflies. She laid in bed with the afterglow of her night falling asleep in her lover's arms. I will never tire of that and I will never not want that.

She fell asleep for a few more hours before her and Gwen’s door was knocked on for waking up.

Gwen stirred and sat up with her feel on the floor. “Are you certain this is all worth it?” She asked rubbing her eyes.

“Yes it is…unfortunately…Ms. Hughes now knows…” She said rolling back on her side. “However it is my day off…so let me sleep longer.” Anna said pulling her blankets over her tighter.

“What shall I say to Lady Mary? That you are sleeping and don’t want to dress her.” Gwen asked, washing her face and pulling her uniform on.

Anna laughed sleepily into her pillow. “Tell her I’ll be in the gardens today.”

Gwen threw her pillow at her. “Sure…I’ll say that to the Lady. She’ll rip me apart.”

Anna turned over. “Why is everyone so scared of her?” She said sleepily.

Gwen tied her apron across her uniform. “She’s so mean, Anna. Nobody but you has stuck up for her…harsh words…”

Anna laughed into her pillow. “Gwen, she’s actually quite kind just don’t…make her mad I suppose?” She said laughing again.

“Sure. I’ll let her know.”

Chapter Text

Gwen entered Lady Mary’s bedroom and started the task of dressing her quickly. Mary stood still and after she was sat in her chair for her hair to be tied back she stopped Gwen.

“No. I’ll take it from here thank you, Gwen.”

“My Lady.”

Gwen made to leave the room when Mary turned around stopping her. “Gwen…”

“My Lady?”

“I know you know ... .so can I ask…what…what do you say…what would your mother say of this type of situation?” Mary started to pin her own hair back.

Gwen felt uncomfortable and held her gown looking towards the floor. “My Lady…She’d most likely whip me.” She smiled and looked at Mary’s beautiful face. I can see why Anna was so drawn to her. She is quite beautiful.
Mary considered this response before shaking her head because she didn’t like it. “Well, lucky for me that’s not going to be the case ... .thank you Gwen…if you see Anna tell her I’ll be walking the garden’s today.” Mary’s dark demeanor appeared and it made Gwen giggle as she was leaving.

“What is so funny?” Mary asked sternly.

Gwen instantly became immobile. “Oh nothing My Lady.”

“No tell me…”

Gwen thought about her words. “Anna has said…what is so scary about you and I find sometimes your words are so…Oh I shouldn’t say.” She went to leave.

“No you will tell me.” Mary said even more harshly.

“ My Lady…I don’t doubt you and Anna can…you know…because…well…you’re you.” And at that she left quickly.

Mary was left baffled but hoped that Gwen would relay the message to Anna.

***

Anna slept in and rose and dressed in one of the old casual dresses Mary had given her and made her way downstairs.

She was eating breakfast and ignored the warning gazes from Ms. Hughes and Carson but also Thomas who was smiling at her over the newspaper he was reading.

“Anna, what are your plans for your day off?” Ms. Hughes asked kindly.

Gwen piped up. “Anna told me she would be wandering about the gardens today.” She looked pointendly at her.

Anna seemed to gather the message she was sending. “Yes. I feel like a nice walk would be good…maybe read…rest…” she finished when she noticed Gwen winked at her.

Ms. Hughes nodded and stood up to begin her day. “Well that sounds lovely.” She gave Anna a pointed look like she understood.

**

Anna was walking through the back lawn and sat down in the grass reading her book. Another one she had smuggled from the family library. Poetry this time. She was quite enamored with the words when the subject of her desire sauntered up to her spot in the grove she had found.

“Oh so this is where you’ve been hiding from me” Mary said sitting next to her. “What are you reading, my love?” Mary grabbed the book from her and read the front cover. “T.S. Eliot…you did say you loved his work. What is your favorite poem of his?” Mary smoothed her dress.

Anna noticed Mary’s hair was once again not put up and down in long strands around her shoulders.

“Mary, did Gwen not fix your hair?’ Anna grabbed a stray curl.

Mary kissed the hand close her face. “I told you…nobody will touch my hair unless it is you darling….now read to me your favorite poem.” Mary leaned her head on Anna’s shoulder.

The sun was breaking through the clouds and the wind was softly moving through the grass.

“Prufrock..” Anna started reading the poem. “Let us go then you and I…” The birds were singing and the bugs nestled in the grass were zibbing.

Mary listened to Anna read her favorite parts.

“Is this the poem you’d read when you were a child…in your garden…” Mary asked with her head still leaning on Anna’s shoulder.

Anna laughed slightly at Mary remembering such details of her life. “Yes…I’m surprised you remembered that minute detail I once told you.” Anna said, kissing the side of her face.

Mary leaned up and looked at Anna with a different look on her face that Anna couldn’t recognize. “That first night we laughed together when we met…you also told me that you adored wildflowers.” Mary cocked her head to one side. “I remember everything you’ve ever told me about yourself…your story is the only one I care about my love.” Mary said, causing Anna to swoon.

Anna sat up and placed the book down. “Was it me making you laugh that made you fall for me?”

Mary leaned back and looked up towards the sky. The clouds were moving fast and were casting shadows across the back lawn. “Well…maybe… like I said, not many people can make me laugh.” Her voice was so highborn it made Anna stifle a laugh. “However…you always sort of … how do I say it…”

Anna grabbed her hand and pressed it against her mouth.

“Oh Anna, you always told me off for being so mean.” Mary said laughing.

“What?” Anna replied, laughing as well.

“You told me when I was being so mean.” Mary said plainly.

Anna looked at her folding Mary’s hand over and over again in hers. “How very rude of me….I should have been fired…” Anna said.

Mary laughed and Anna saw how her eyes were glowing in the sunlight with such a genuine smile she almost melted.

“Anna…” Mary pushed Anna into the grass. “Please tell me how mean I am again.”

Anna laughed. “How about at dinner next time I am serving?” She laughed.

“Yes! Perfect timing.” Mary kissed her deeply and wrapped one arm underneath her pulling her closer into her body.

They stayed together with the wind and kissed slowly and Anna felt like she was in some dream.

“Mary my love, someone might come along…” she said.

Mary moved and pulled her up again. “And what if someone did?” She leaned back on both her hands looking up towards the sky. “I said I was going for a walk and Papa looked at me…oh like maybe he knew…I know he doesn’t…” Mary said.

Anna followed suit and leaned back looking up at the fast moving clouds. “ I guess he’s the last piece to our puzzle isn’t he.”

The sat in silence for a long time and Mary leaned her head once again on Anna’s shoulder kissing it ever so often.

“This dress looks so terribly nice on you my darling.” She said finally.

Anna nodded. “My boss gifted it to me…she’s sometimes nice but most of the time she’s ornery for no apparent reason.”

At this Mary pushed Anna back on the ground. “Oh? She’s ornery is she? Not a very nice person? Gave you a dress to match your eyes?” Mary kissed her and they laughed. “Maybe this employer should be spoken to…they don’t seem terribly pleasant.”

Anna smiled widely at their banter. “Oh she’s okay…however the staff seem terribly afraid of her for some reason…I’ve yet to see that side of her however…”

Mary kissed her deeply and pulled back. “Well…maybe she shouldn’t treat her employees so kindly… it seems one of them has become too fond and familiar…” She kissed Anna’s neck.

Anna could smell the grass and the abundant floral scent of the gardens in the thicket they were tucked away in and also Mary’s neck was so tempting sweet and scented just like the flowers she was surrounded by.

Mary kissed her once again. “My love…We should head back…Oh what will I do not seeing you in the evening ... .can you sneak away again tonight…” Mary was draping her lips across her neck.

Anna breathed out heavily at her touches. “ I will…I will try…” She wrapped her fingers in Mary’s hair.

Standing up she pulled Anna with her and they made their way back to the house all the while Lord Grantham was watching them walk back laughing and holding hands placing the pieces together in anger.

*****

Robert walked away from the library window and immediately went to the drink cart to pour himself a hefty shot of whisky. His eldest daughter was a…no…he must have seen that wrong… however his anger wasn’t easily contained. Was disgusted by what he saw. Didn’t even know where to begin addressing how wrong and vile it was…no. Maybe what I saw wasn’t what I believed I saw.

Robert started pacing and shook the thought of Mary being with a…breaking the law of god…nonsense. He would invite Matthew for dinner tonight and have a very stern conversation with Mary.

****

Mary and Anna went to go their separate ways when Mary gently pulled her into a secluded corner near the side of the manor and pressed Anna close to her in a gentle embrace her face burrowing in Anna’s beautiful blonde locks.

“My darling, Anna…” and then stayed like that far longer than was safe to do so.

“My Mary..” Anna was the first to pull away, steadying herself not wanting to leave Mary.

“I must go.” Anna whispered.

Mary’s amber eyes watched her back away. Completely enamored. “Okay.” She said simply as a her eyes continued to smile. “Until we next meet my love.”

Anna turned towards the servants entrance before glancing one last time noting that Mary was doing the same thing which made them both go into a fit of giggles.

****

Mary entered the foyer blushing barely being able to compose herself. It felt like being engulfed in warm sunlight when she was with Anna. She started to ascend the stairs when she noticed her father standing across the hall with a stern look on his face.

“Papa?” Mary said, walking over to him. “Is something the matter?”

Robert contained his anger slightly. Not wanting to accuse Mary of something he wasn’t completely sure on. “Yes there is.”

Mary's golden light feeling instantly left and she was now drowning in anxiety. Had he found out.

“I’m only going to say this one more time and I don’t want you to say anything about it to me. No more stalling, no more excuses, you are too old to be unmarried and it is unacceptable for you to act like this isn’t a requirement.”

His voice steadily growing louder and angrier and Mary stepped back from him dreading what she knew he would say.

“You will marry Matthew. End of story.”

Mary’s eyes welled up with a surge of anger herself and she went to open her mouth and before she could rebutted Robert held up his finger

“I won’t hear any ANY word out of your spoiled mouth.” And he left. Left Mary alone and panicking. Her hands shaking she finally left the spot she had been rooted at for her bedroom quickly as to not run into anyone.

She closed her bedroom door and walked over to the window and opened it for fresh air and then she finally felt like she could take a breath. She sat in the armchair next to the open window steading her breathing. Closing her eyes she thought of Anna’s blue eyes, her soft hair falling around her delicate face. The way she blushed when Mary even looked at her how when they made love it felt like she was whole. How walking through the gardens today was one of the happiest moments of her life. How simple it was too. She knew they could never have what they wanted fully….but Mary didn’t care. She went to her bedside table and pulled out a small piece of parchment writing a note on it. Maybe she could run into Gwen or Barrow… leaving her room and walked downstairs to find Thomas winding the clock in the hall.

“Excuse me, Thomas?” She said. “Might I ask a small favor of you?” Knowing he had no choice but to accept.

“Of course M’Lady.” He shut the glass clock face and turned to give her his full attention.

“I have a small note I need to get to Anna and I can’t very well seek her out at the moment… I need you to make sure she gets it.” She ordered, then added a polite “please.” At the end.

Thomas grabbed the note and placed it in his vest. “Of course M’Lady I’ll make sure she gets it.”

Mary nodded and turned on her heels and left.

Thomas didn’t dare read it. Knowing what was written was their secret alone. He envied them almost. That they could share so many moments together in the safety of the Abbey.

He left and made his way down the winding set of stairs in search of the blonde.

***
Anna was sat at the long table sewing another dress that had been gifted to her by Mary. Another light blue one. However she was much smaller than Mary (something she loved. Being able to rest her head on her shoulder so easily.) She was hemming the bottom to make it the right length. William was playing the piano and the bustle of the staff always relaxed her somehow. Ms. Hughes was telling her a quite silly story about Carson that they both were enjoying.

“Hello Thomas.” Anna said. Thomas smiled and poured himself a cup of tea sitting across from her and unfolding the paper that had been read by several people having some sections missing.

“Alright there Anna.” He winked at her which she found odd but then again teasing her was maybe his second favorite thing to do.

“Anna, do you have plans for your day off tomorrow? Are you feeling more rested?” Ms. Hughes asked.

Anna thought about what she’d like to do for her day off. Another afternoon spent memorizing every shade of Mary’s brown eyes.

“I actually need a few things from the village so I think I’ll do just that.” Maybe getting out of the Abbey would help. She did not want to keep monopolizing Mary’s time.

“Would you mind picking up a few things for me as well?” Ms. Hugged asked.

“Not at all make me a list.”

Anna had been grateful that she hadn’t pressed any more questions about her and Mary’s scandalous relationship. She wondered if she had discussed it with Ms. Pattmore as they were quite close. It’s not like people like herself and Thomas have never been around. It was always something so unspoken. People were embarrassed even thinking of such a thing when to Anna being attracted and in love with Mary made total sense. They fit well with each other in every way. She felt like she was a kind of moral compass for her and Mary was her protector in a way.

She wouldn’t mind working for her forever. As long as she could be with her that was all that mattered, however convincing Lord Grantham was such a gargantuan test she wasn’t sure he would ever accept Mary. Oh and I’m sure he’d have words with me as well.

Thomas pulled her from her tumbling thoughts. “Care for a smoke, Anna?” He asked once Ms. Hughes left for the kitchens.

“Oh alright.” She placed the dress away from the table as to not get it marked by accident and followed Thomas to their spot in the courtyard.

Thomas looked around and then handed Anna the note from Mary.

Anna looked confused. “What’s this?”

“It’s from your girlfriend. She gave it to me as I was winding the clocks. Told her I’d make sure you got it.”

Anna’s stomach fluttered at the word “girlfriend” and she couldn’t hide the blush that crossed her face as she unfolded the letter.

’ ‘My darling. I will be telling Matthew tomorrow that I will not be marrying him. Papa was quite cross with me demanding it happen. I won’t. I only want you. Mama had suggested in the past you and I spend some time in America, but I won’t make plans for you if you don’t want to. If you are able to- meet me at the hall door tonight after everyone has gone to bed.

I love you more than song can tell. You fill my every thoughts every waking minute I fall more and more in love with you. You asked me to remind you every day and I plan to do just that.

I am glowing just thinking of you while writing this.

Love,
Your Mary.’

Anna folded the letter up and clutched it to her chest before sliding it down her dress for safe keeping. There was so much said her mind was whirling.

“Well…you must tell me something. I’m so invested in you both…” Thomas said, lighting a cigarette and handing it to Anna.

“She’s breaking it off with Matthew…tomorrow…seems she might have had a row with her father…” Anna was hesitant about the trip to America however….what an adventure to have with her. America was also slightly more accepting. Her being Mary’s lady maid wouldn’t stir too much notice either. “Said we might go to America.”

Thomas raised his eyebrows in shock, “ oh she’s mad about you.”

This made Anna laugh. “We’re both mad about each other and stupid really ... .what in the heavens are we thinking.” Anna inhaled her cigarette trying to calm the fluttering in her chest. “I just don’t want something…harmful to happen to her.”

Thomas considered this and then answered. “Well… Lady Mary has a very high status…one of the highest you can have. Everyone aside from Lord Grantham is aware and supportive at least as much as they can be…and I believe Mary would have hounds out on someone before they pried you two apart. I don’t think I’m worried about her…more about you.” He pulled his flask out of his pocket and handed it to Anna.

Anna accepted it and drank a small amount. “Why are you more worried about me?”

“Anna. You don’t have a status to keep you safe.”

This thought had never occurred to her before. Which made her feel a little uneasy. “At least I’ll have felt what true love is, I suppose.”

“Yeah…that’s very rare…”Thomas said, nodding. “However I’d rather you be safe and healthy.”

Anna chuckled “ I as well ... .I wouldn’t worry about it Thomas.”

Thomas, “I think I shall worry about it thank you very much.” He smiled genuinely. Anna had really enjoyed becoming close with Thomas. He had a soft and caring side that he rarely showed anyone one else….oddly like-

“You know Thomas…You and Lady Mary are so very alike in many ways. You both are very particular about who gets to see the softer side.”

Thomas looked at her quizzically. “Oh?”

“Yeah…wow now that I think about it I seem to draw out the softer sides of my best friend and my…my girlfriend.” She smiled, saying the word out loud.

Thomas looked touched by her words too. “Am I your best friend?”

Anna looked over at him in a really now. “Yes. I think so. You’re the first person I’ve felt like I can talk about being…like this..with and who has helped me and been so kind…aside from Lady Mary that is.”

Thomas smiled almost bashfully. “You’re my best friend too, Anna….and you know….Lady Mary and I have something else in common too.”

“What’s that?”

Thomas leaned in close to her, “We are also both very gay…”

Anna’s mouth hung open and then her and Thomas fell into a fit of laughter until Thomas was summoned back in for dinner service when Anna stopped him. “Wait! Would you be able to give Mary a note during dinner service from me?”

“Oh Christ Almighty….I won’t promise…but sure..” He watched Anna quickly run into the servants hall and pulled a piece of paper from a notebook on the table along with a pencil and before writing she looked around making sure nobody could read over her shoulder and then folded it up and ran back outside handing it to Thomas.

“Oi…you owe me!’ He teased and put the note in his pocket. “Now go enjoy your night off eh?”

*****

Mary was dressed for dinner once again refusing to have her hair made up. She braided small strands and clipped them back to the side and let the rest of her hair simply drape over her back.

Somehow after writing that note I do hope Barrow was able to deliver it however she couldn’t see why not she felt rejuvenated with a vigorous resolve. She would break it off with Matthew tomorrow. She would tell her Papa. She would leave for America with Anna if she had to. Nothing was going to stop her from being with her. She was going down to dinner with a very hard expression on her face. Her Mary mask as Anna cutely put it.

She met her family in the library for drinks as they did every evening…she started to see how mundane this was when she could be with Anna. Oh having Anna here would be so much more enjoyable and she hoped that she would be able to sneak off to her arms tonight, however, she also knew that she might not be able to and that dampened her heart slightly. Seeing Anna seemed to be one of the only things she found joy in lately now that her life had been spiraling out of her control. Anna was such a joy in everything. Her smile was so infectious. Oh, what if she could take her dancing. What if they could have daily walks in the garden. She could take her out to fancy restaurants. Spend her time before sleep making love to her and talking about anything and everything.

She knew she was daydreaming and not paying attention to any of the conversation happening and she didn’t even care. Everyone in the room knew she was in love with a woman except her father. Who would know soon once she broke off her engagement.

Her father kept trying to gain her eye contact and she made a point to not engage with him whatsoever in fact she was practically silent during the entire pre-dinner drinks.

They went through to the dining room and Mary sat next to Sibyl and her mother once again. Her grandmother on the other end next to Papa.

“Matthew phoned, he is running late…says he will be here before desert though.” Robert said to the table.

“Running late from what exactly?” Her grandmother asked. “His potential perhaps…”

Mary, Sibyl, and Edith turned their heads to conceal the laughter they were suppressing desperately.

“Violet!” Cora said disapprovingly and giving her daughters stern looks.

“Mother really…” Robert placed his napkin in his lap scoffing at the head of the family.

At that Mary saw Thomas and William enter and Thomas began filling the wine around the table as Carson greeted the Dowager. When he was about to reach Mary Matthew entered the room and Carson quickly took his coat and hat to hang it up, and as everyone was looking towards him Thomas decided this would be the only chance he got and dropped Anna’s note into Mary’s lap. Mary quickly looked up at Barrow almost offended and he nodded slightly towards the note and she understood this was from Anna.

She couldn’t dare read it at the dining table and grabbed the note quickly pushing it down her glove so it rested close to her palm. It felt like a kiss from her. The thrill of the secret made Mary’s heart race, however she had to pull herself back and engage in talk with Matthew who she soon would be ending their engagement. She did hope he would take it okay.

“Matthew, so nice of you to make it.” Mary said, smiling politely at him as he took a seat next to her mother.

“Of course…can’t pass up an invite.”

“Well as you’ll someday inherit this estate you’re forever welcome especially after you marry into the family my dear son.” Her father seemed so overly pleased he looked and Mary and for the first time she made eye contact with him back with such a sinister gaze he quickly looked away and picked up his wine.

Mary’s spirits were lifted knowing she had a message hidden on her with words written by the love of her life so close to her skin.

They finished dinner and made their way to the library once again…Mary hung behind intentionally so she could read the note without the eyes of her family and once they were all inside she pulled the note out of her glove and read it quickly.

”’I do hope you’re mean Mary face is on tonight so I can scold you later for being so ornery.”’

Mary had to suppress a laugh with her other hand and she quickly put the note back inside her glove trying to compose herself before entering the library. I mustn’t disappoint her. She thought.

***

Thomas found Anna talking with Gwen at the servants table laughing over some joke William had made. Anna looked up at him as he entered and he nodded and she understood that he did indeed give Mary the note she had written. I wish I could have seen her face reading it however.

Thomas gestured for them to go out to their now very familiar spot in the courtyard behind the servants hall and she followed.

Anna was giddy sitting down next to Thomas. “How did dinner service go…it’s odd I missed it a little and it didn’t have to do with Mary. I just enjoy working with you.” She said to him.

“Oh I’m sure a big part is Lady Mary however…I much prefer to work with you than William.” His tone darkened much like Mary’s did when she spoke of someone she detested.

“Thomas, don't be unkind.” She said, grabbing a cigarette from his hand.

“I didn’t even say anything!” He said indignantly.

“You didn’t have to…I’ve got you and Mary down to a T.” Anna said.

“For your information I was able to give Mary your message whatever it was.” He nudged her arm, handing her his flask again. Their ritual which Anna had grown to love. The moments with Thomas…someone like her…was so special now.

“Did anyone else notice?” She perked up.

“I actually read it outloud to the entire family.” He joked and they both laughed and Anna pushed him slightly. “No but I dropped it in her lap when Mr. Matthew entered the dining room. Was quite perfect timing as I was pouring her wine and the family was looking over at him. She stuffed it down her glove. Not sure when she read it, however it wasn’t during dinner.” He added inhaling smoke. “What did it say….” He asked.

“We sort of have this joke…about how everyone is scared of her because she is so awful sometimes and she told me that one of the things that made her fall for me is that I told her…I sort of…called her out on it I suppose…So the note just said…I hope you’re mean Mary face is on so I can tell you off for being so ornery.”

Thomas spat out the sip he was taking of his flask and they both laughed. Their breath causing clouds around them as the temperature was dropping.

“Oh that is funny.” Thomas said, wiping his mouth and taking another pull from the flask before handing it back to Anna. “What are you doing tomorrow for your second day off?

“I need some things in the village…If you need something just let me know and I’ll grab it while I’m there.”

“Won’t Mary miss you if you’re gone all day?’ He teased.

“Well…I’ll miss her as well however I can’t monopolize her time so much….besides she told me she was going to tell Mr. Matthew tomorrow that they were no longer going to be engaged so I suppose it might be better if I am not in the house.” She exhaled and felt those familiar nerves at what they were doing creep back up.

“Ahh well…you’re in the thick of it now aren’t you.” Thomas snuffed his cigarette out and pulled Anna up from her seat and escorted her back inside.

Chapter Text

Mary was able to excuse herself from the after dinner drinks far earlier than she normally would have and made her way up to her room. She had no desire for Gwen or one of the other maids to help her undress so she started the process on her own. Taking her gloves off and placing the note from Anna in her bedside drawer. Pulling her shoes off and unclasping the back of the dress to her best ability. She was finally stripped down to her corset and looked at this as a challenge. I should be able to do this and if I can’t then I suppose I am just sleeping in it. Reaching behind her she was able to untie the strings at the top and pulled them effortlessly open enough so she could pry herself out of it. She let out a small ha! When she threw it on the floor and pulled over a silk black nightgown she rarely wore…however if I do get to see Anna she does love me in black.

She laid down in her bed noting the time and decided to write more love notes to Anna. If they were hiding their secret wouldn’t it be fun to hide them someplace so they could speak to each other when they couldn’t be together. Mary was having quite fun at it…I am quite poetic. She thought.

Anna loves poetry.

This thought spurred her on even more and she wrote Anna a poem…it wasn’t even that hard. She had studied many poets when she was being lectured by her Governesses. I wonder what Anna’s schooling was like for her to be so invested in poetry. She made a mental note to ask her if she was able to sneak away tonight…for their midnight rendezvous. She not only was eager to touch Anna after merely hours of being away from her but to also talk… she loved that so much…asking her everything and anything. She wanted to know everything. I wonder what her favorite color is? Another mental note to ask her.

The time was approaching for her to sneak out of her room and meet Anna at the servants entrance on the stairs…she shouldn’t dare go up to her room or the quarters anymore. Putting on her robe she opened her door and made her way down the hallway and opened the green door and waited at the bottom of the stairs that led up to where Anna slept. After a few minutes she thought. Maybe she wasn’t able to sneak off as easily when Anna was there.

Coming down the stairs as quietly as possible both of their faces eased at seeing one another.

Anna reached her and Mary out of habit and longing grabbed her hands and kissed them and pulled her out to the much warmer hallway towards her room. I must make sure the others get warmer bedding. She thought.

Once they were inside Mary’s room did they dare speak anything.

Mary pulled Anna close to her and breathed in her heavenly scent.

“Oh my dear it’s only been hours and I feel like it’s been years.” Mary said, kissing the side of her face.

“You’ve missed me that much have you?” Anna said.

“You’ve no idea my darling.”

Mary kissed her. This kiss was different. She put both of her hands around her small face and gently tucked Anna’s stray blond locks around her ears. It was so full of longing she felt like crying. “In the hours we’ve been apart I’ve fallen more in love with you.” She nuzzled her face across Anna’s.

Anna breathed heavily and grabbed Mary’s hands and led them towards her bed.

“Hold me.” She said.

They folded into each other in the warmth and confines of Mary’s bed. The safety and secrecy of her room.

“Thomas said he was able to give you my note.” Anna said, giving Mary small kisses along her cheek.

Mary chuckled. “Yes…oh my goodness my love…I read it and had to stifle my laugh before leaving dinner.”

They smiled and laughed grabbing onto each other in any way they could. “I had hoped you would actually.” Anna said laughing into Mary’s pillow. “Thomas had asked me what it said and when I told him he too found it humorous.”

Mary pulled Anna close up against her body and kissed her, hovering her lips lightly over Anna’s.

“It was quite funny my love. I had a very hard time composing myself before interacting with the room again.” She said laughing once again. “What made it funny was I thought it would just say something like i love you but like when we met you made me laugh…”

Anna curled up in her arms. “Making you laugh is so dear to my heart, Mary. You have such a beautiful laugh I am sad I wasn’t able to hear it tonight.”

They laid in silence for some time just holding one another and enjoyed the soft comfort. The ease at which they coexisted.

“Your note was however much different ... .you said you’re going to tell Mr.Matthew tomorrow?” Anna asked propping herself up so she could see Mary’s face and when she did she saw how it softened at her gaze.

“Yes my love. I am.” Mary looked at her seriously. “I meant every word.” She kissed her and laced her fingers through her hair. “I will not be kept from you and I will do whatever it takes to be with you…in…oh…in whatever way I can be.”

Anna pulled her hand to her mouth and kissed it. “Are you certain…this is…a lot to wager, Mary…if you do decide to-”

Mary kissed her shutting off her next thought. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life. The only thing I am certain of is that if I can’t have you with me I’ll be an empty shell of a girl and will dream of you with every moment I have.”

Anna smiled and tried to hide it in the crook of Mary’s neck when she pulled her chin up. “Don’t hide your beautiful smile from me darling…it makes my life worth living.”

Anna was truly astonished at the words she was hearing from her lover tonight.

“You’re being very…poetic this evening my love…” She kissed her gently.

Mary traced her long fingers up and down one of Anna’s arms. “You’ve turned me into a poet…you love poetry and I want to be the poet you love.” Mary kissed her and they fell once again into a spell. Mary’s lips covering Anna’s.

“That reminds me…what is your favorite color?” Mary asked which summoned Anna out of the bliss Mary was putting her under.

“My favorite color?”

“It’s the simplest of questions and I realized I did not know…” Mary responded once again, lacing her hand through Anna’s hair.

“Well…” Anna thought about it and the answer was in front of her. “Brown.”

“Brown? What an ugly color.” Mary scoffed.

“Your eyes…they are such a deep brown…and when light touches them…your eyes become amber…and your…emotions are so changing within them…brown is also the color of the earth…I’ve always loved the feel of the dirt and earth in my hands…it has always made me feel like I can touch something tangible that is bigger than myself. So I’d say your eyes are my favorite color, my love.” Anna finished. “Also your hair…your hair seems to glow in the sunlight…I adore it…” Anna kissed her.

Mary was so taken aback at her answer she was lost at words. “Well…” She said trying to find something to say Anna always was able to leave me speechless.

'What is your favorite color, my love?’ Anna asked, stroking the side of her face.

Mary had already known this for years. “It’s always been blue…when I was little I would lay outside and watch the sky as the clouds sort of raced across it…and now that I know what your eyes look like…it almost feels as if I was just looking for you…always looking for your gaze.”

Anna sat up and leaned on her elbow. “Mary what type of poet has gotten into you this evening my love?”

Mary grasped her arms and pulled her into a deep kiss. “You….you only bring out the good in me. I truly know it now. I’ve spent my life just waiting to meet you.” Mary was almost on the verge of tears and Anna knelt towards her face.

“My love don’t cry…oh Mary.” Anna kissed her and they spent what felt like an eternity placing promises with their lips to one another.

“Anna, I want to be with you forever.”

Anna’s eyes also teared up. “Mary…my love…” She fell into her embrace and let Mary pull her close to her chest.

“This is all I could ever want…” Mary kissed the top of Anna’s blonde hair. “I cannot imagine having a life any other way…”

Suddenly they both were crying silently kissing one another. The promise of their lives being forever intertwined forever sealed.

“You won’t regret this, Mary?” Anna asked as she started to slip off the small strip off of her nightgown down kissing her shoulder. “Oh I would live with you if only to just look at you…” She started to deepen her kisses into her skin.

Mary was starting to unravel and sighed into her touches. “I want you only and only you forever my darling…”

She pulled Anna’s face to hers with a desperation in her eyes and pulled Anna’s nightgown off with ease. Anna was perched on top of her draped in the starlight she sighed putting her hands down to lift Mary’s off as well.

“You are so enticing in this one my love…every time I’ve had to place it over you I’ve dreamt of it…” Anna said tossing it to the side next to hers so they were both bare. The jokes and teasing were gone and only pure desire was left and Anna grabbed one of Mary’s hands and placed it over her breast. “Mary…” She sighed out as Mary gently pinched her nipple between her fingers.

Mary reached down and felt Anna’s wetness and moved her fingers slowly drawing out the sounds she so loved. Anna’s small frame perched on top of her made it even more desirable as Anna arched her back at her fingers moving against her.

Mary pulled her forward and once again lifted her leg over hers and wrapped her own under it and then they were connected again. Mary started her movements slowly kissing along Anna’s shoulders…her face… she placed one of her fingers in her mouth as their cores were pressing together and Anna wrapped her tongue around it which caused Mary to become so wet she needed Anna unlike she had felt before.

“I am yours…” Mary said, starting to lose her barings. “My love…”

Anna was moving her hips in such an erotic way Mary was almost rendered undone. She was like a leaf falling from a tree in the breeze. Heaving her hips up and down. Her mouth open and her eyes barely open at the ecstasy of it all.

“I love you…” Mary said in between soft gasps and pulled Anna in with her own hips matching her tempo.

Anna could barely speak and let out one long sigh in an octave Mary hadn’t heard before. Which only fueled her movements. Anna’s sounds hitching in that pitch Mary couldn’t get enough of. They locked eyes and moved quicker.

Mary became so overcome with emotion and their passion she cried out a loud deep growl and moved her hips faster with her hand on Anna’s lower back noticing Anna’s eyes had changed to a deep blue color as she didn’t leave Mary’s gaze. Moving quicker, their eye contact didn’t change. Anna was looking at her with such a look it was almost adoring. Her mouth slightly open and her breaths and noises so miniscule as if they were only for Mary to hear.

Mary’s eyes darkened and she leaned in to Anna’s neck trying to stifle them slightly.

They were breathing quicker and letting out small sounds that made it all more loving than their other times and Mary suddenly pushed their cores together hard and at that Anna leaned into her and came with Mary following with an almost agonizing cry into Anna’s hair.

They untangled from each other and Anna laid on Mary’s chest and Mary caressed her face softly. Anna’s breaths were heavy.

“My I feel dizzy from that one.” She admitted laying on her back trying to catch her breath.

Mary leaned on her side waiting for her heartbeat to return to normal.

“Come here.” Anna reached over blindly and Mary was instantly against her resting her head on Anna’s.

“Hmmm we’re good at that.” Mary said, smirking.

Anna laughed. “We should learn to be quieter however.”

“Oh darling but the sounds you make are part of the appeal….” Mary faced Anna. “Just thinking about one in particular…makes me flush.” She kissed Anna.

“Is that so…” Anna caressed Mary’s face. “You have favorites do you.”

“Mmhmmm….ill be sure to tell you next time…”

“If you could go someplace with me…openly…where would you like to go?” Mary asked.

Anna sat up and Mary’s hand immediately went into her long blond locks which only distracted Anna. They laid in the afterglow and Mary felt truly whole. A feeling she had been clinging to desperately afraid to lose it.

“I’d love to go to the sea with you. Watch the waves.”

Mary's smile was infectious, crinkling her eyes and she did so. “Then we shall have to go to the sea.” Anna could tell she was already planning it in her head.

“Once again I believe I continuously give you risky ideas.” Anna said.

“I would surmise the ocean would draw out more colors in your eyes as well…like sunlight skimming the surface.”

Mary started her ritual of tracing along Anna’s skin falling further under each other's spell.

“Are you scared?” Anna asked quietly, clutching one of Mary’s hands to her chest.

“Of what?” Mary asked. Anna’s eyes said it all however. “Oh…well…I have a feeling Matthew already knows…I’m more afraid of a life without you my darling.” She kissed Anna and removed her hand from Anna’s placing delicately over her soft face. “That’s the most daunting thought I have.”

“What of Lord Grantham?” Anna asked.

“I am not afraid of him.” Mary’s face changed and she looked at the ceiling with contempt. “I know he loves me…I love him dearly…However if he asks me to choose I will always choose you.”

They slowly fell into sleep holding one another close with Mary whispering ever so often. “I am yours, Anna.”

****

Anna woke before the sun and slowly pulled herself out of Mary’s embrace without waking her. She picked up her nightgown and pulled it over her body watching Mary sleep. Her beautiful body slumbering so peacefully with a small smile still on her face. Anna decided to not wake her and she left quickly to make her way through the manor up to her room.

Tucking herself back into her own cold bed she grabbed the blanket Mary had gifted her up and eventually fell back to sleep.

***

Mary woke up mere minutes after Anna left, missing the warmth of her small frame nestled into hers. She wasn’t sure when she’d be able to see her. I can’t keep having her sneak out and see me in the middle of the night. She leaned over and pulled the pillow Anna was on to her face breathing in the heavenly scent and tried to go back to sleep but the impending torture of the day loomed and she felt she had the time to think of how she would tell Matthew the engagement was off. She’d go to him in the village. She wouldn’t dare do it at the Abbey.

The sun was slowly creeping into her room and it reminded her of Anna’s hair…how her face glowed in the sunlight…her blue eyes mirroring the sky…it was once again her day off so she wouldn’t be able to see her in the morning. She hoped that Anna would have a comfortable day off sleeping in…under the soft blanket she had gifted her. I must tell Papa to get more for the rest of the staff. The thought ran through her mind again upset with herself that she had not done so sooner. I’ll ask at breakfast.

She sat up and picked up the poem she had been writing for Anna out of her bedside table and moved to the armchair next to her window so she could read it and perfect it. Anna only deserved the best words to describe her…and lucky for her…Mary was so in love the only words she could think of were lovely.

She noted the time on the clock and pulled the bell for Gwen and placed the poem safely tucked away in a book.

Gwen was there as she was daydreaming out the window.

“Good morning, Gwen.” Mary said brightly.

Gwen once again thought how beautiful Lady Mary was.

“Morning M’lady.” She started the process of dressing her and when it came to setting her hair for the day she finally spoke. “My Lady would you like your hair down again?”

“Yes thank you Gwen.”

Gwen hesitated. “Can I braid it up…just so it’s comfortable for you through the day.”

Mary hesitated…”I suppose…”

Gwen took parts of her long hair into her hands and started braiding and pinning them up into an elegant braid down the middle of her hair in the back. Once she was satisfied with her work she nodded at Mary’s reflection in the mirror.

“How’s that Mlady? Gwen asked tentatively.

Mary admired herself as Gwen held the small mirror so she could see the braid on the back of her head.

“Thank you, Gwen. It’s beautiful.” Mary said, smiling up at her.

It was possibly the first time Gwen saw kindness in Mary’s eyes. Is this the soft side of Mary that Anna was so in love with?

“My Lady.” She grabbed her nightgown and exited the room leaving Mary to gather her senses and go downstairs to her family. Knowing she would be breaking her fathers heart today by ending her engagement with her suitor.

She stood up and went over to the drawer that held the poem for Anna and tucked it into her dress intending to find Barrow who had somehow become a messenger between them.

She met Edith first as they went in for breakfast. They walked down the staircase in a tense silence as the last time they had spoken was about her relationship with Anna.

“When will you tell Matthew you won't be marrying him?” She said in a hushed tone.

Mary looked at her darkly... Her mean Mary face as Anna coined it. “Today..and do not tell Papa…I’ll deal with him on my own thank you.”

Edith lightly grabbed her arm to stop her as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “Mary…I know we never see eye to eye…however…You’ve changed since ... .with her…and….I will support you.” Edith said almost uncomfortably.

Mary was truly shocked at her words and softened her face slightly. “I’m shocked that at this point you haven’t exposed me to ridicule to be honest.” Mary said in her haughty tone and then thought of Anna’s stern look be nice it would have said. “No Edith…I…Thank you.” She said to her sister.

Edith nodded and went ahead of her to the breakfast hall and Mary followed suit.

“Good morning my darlings.” Robert said as he opened his paper looking at his daughters and when Sibyl entered shortly after she lent down and kissed her father with a small smile sitting across from Mary.

Mary stirred her breakfast across the plate trying to find an appetite but instead just sipped her tea nervously when she once again remembered.

“Papa.” She drew his attention. For the first time in days she had actually addressed him without a hint of malice. “We need warmer bedding for the staff. I’ve heard it’s quite cold at night under their thin blankets.”

Sibyl smiled into her cup and Edith smiled looking at the letter that was given to her by Carson.

Robert peered at her over the paper he was reading. “They have wool blankets and I have never heard a complaint.”

Mary looked at Carson “Is this true, Carson?”

Carson looked flustered. His love for Mary had always triumphed over most things. “My Lady…you need not worry. We are well under the care of his Lordship.”

Mary was not satisfied with this answer. “Papa.” She tried to harness his attention from the news he was reading and was becoming more angry the further he ignored her. “If we don’t have servants who are sleeping well, how will they do their work efficiently?” She was reeling in the anger that was slowly creeping over her face.

“Mary, please, it is too early.” Rober said over the top of the paper.

Mary placed her napkin on the table louder than she wanted. “Should I tell Matthew? I feel he would agree with me.”

Robert folded the paper and sat it on the table looking between his three daughters. “Where is this coming from and what has your damned maid complained about? Having a stable job? In a large house? Working for more than decent wages?” His anger was also rising.

Mary was having a hard time not breaking at the mention of her maid and sneered. “I just think people who are working for you deserve warmth when they sleep, or am I just evil for thinking so Papa?” Her eyes were dark with detest.

Robert breathed with annoyance. “Fine. I’ll look into it…but it seems superfluous, Mary.”

“Not to bother, father. I’m sure Matthew will run Downton much more kindly than you.” She sipped her tea and exited the room with one last glance at her Papa. “Carson, I will be going into the village today. Will you send for the chauffeur to bring the car around for me?”

“Of course, My Lady.” he said with a kindness in his eyes.

****
Anna slumbered peacefully with images of her and Mary drifting in and out of her thoughts as she slowly woke. She planned on walking into the village today to grab some things she needed and also for several others. She liked walking up the long road with the sounds of nature. It gave her time to daydream about her and Mary.

She got up around nine and dressed in the one Mary had given her that she had hemmed to fit her small frame and she felt Mary was right this one did match her eyes just like the other one.

Making her way downstairs she sat with the others at the table and engaged in their conversation while drinking her tea and waking up more.

“Anna.” Ms. Hughes handed her a list. “If you wouldn’t mind.”

“Not at all.” She folded the list and placed it in her pocket. “I’m about ready to walk to the village now.” She sat up and went and grabbed her coat and waved goodbye and made her way out of the servants hall via the courtyard.

Walking down the driveway and up the road was so peaceful. The quiet drone of the wind and life made her smile to herself. If only Mary was here walking with me.

Chapter Text

Mary left breakfast and grabbed her purse and made her way to the entrance hall where the car was waiting for her outside. “Thank you, Carson.” She said as he opened the door for her as she placed herself in the back seat as she was driven down the long driveway and up the road towards the village. Maybe Matthew would be understanding. She kept thinking her words over and over again when they rounded a corner and she saw Anna. Walking along the side seeing her standoff to the side to let her car pass. “Driver let me out here.”

“My Lady?”

“Let me out here please and thank you.” She told him and he stopped and got out to open the door for her as she was opening it herself. “Thank you.” She said once again and Anna looked at her as she walked to her waiting for the car to drive back.

Once the driver had made his way back towards the house Mary looked at Anna with her head held high. “May I escort you?”

Anna was beyond astonished. “My Lady, whatever are you doing?”

Mary grabbed her hand. “Well, I’m going into the village to tell Matthew I am not marrying him and I saw you.” She looked over. “Why would I waste any time that I can spend with you?”

Anna smiled towards the ground. “You have made me very happy, Mary.” Is all she responded with.

“Is that so? Well I must not squander any time with you…whenever I can that is.” and she pressed Anna’s hand to her mouth. “Now. What is your business in the village that you are walking alone?”

“Mary, I’ve walked alone so many times you need not worry.” Anna said.

“When will I never not worry…” Mary said, still holding her hand.

“Whatever does one do when they go to town? I also am picking up some items for Ms. Hughes and Thomas. The walk is always nice as well.”

“Oh…am I intruding on your time?” Mary asked concerned.

“No my love…” Anna said, squeezing her fingers around Mary’s. “You could never intrude on my time.”

They walked in their familiar comfortable silence. “ I asked Papa today about warmer bedding for the servants.” Mary said.

“Oh? And what was his response?”

“Horrid, however he did come around.” Mary finished with her look of disdain.

Whenever Anna tried to pull her hand away Mary grasped onto it stronger. “Would you like me to not hold your hand my love?”

“That’s not it…I just don’t want someone to see and have something happen to you…I worry…” Anna started.

“Oh my dear, do not worry about me.” Mary drawled, almost annoyed. “You sound like you are tired of me and I will not stand for that.”

Anna couldn’t help but laugh at her tone and pulled her hand playfully out of Mary’s grasp. “Oh I am tired of you now?…My Lady…” She curtseyed infront of her with her eyes glowing.

“ if you pull your hand out of mine again I’ll get cross!” Mary rushed up to her laughing and grabbed her hand again.

“What is it that you enjoy the most about your walks?’ Mary asked.

Anna pondered this for a few minutes. Their hands swinging back and forth. “Well…I think the peacefulness of it. Nobody asking anything of me…no other voices… just me and my thoughts…which is a scary thing but I will say a lot of the time my thoughts were on you.” She looked over at Mary. Her blue eyes the color of the sea.

Mary felt pride at this. “And…what were your thoughts prior?” She squeezed her hand lightly.

“Well…apart from the most inappropriate ones…I suppose just that it was nothing to dream of…you are a highborn woman and I am a lowborn servant…oh but I did have this one day dream I’d replay in my mind.” Anna added.

Mary looked at her quickly. “Tell me…if you want…”

Anna laughed and they swung their hands back and forth Mary not releasing them. “It’s sort of embarrassing.”

Mary stood tall and said in her dark tone, “Can’t be more embarrassing than the thoughts I’ve had of you my darling.”

Anna smiled.

“Well…it was us…however we were with your family and…nobody dared a second guess at it…I was dressed in fancy garments.” Anna turned to Mary and pulled her forward as they walked. “You’d keep complimenting my dress and we’d have to sneak ourselves away to kiss.”

Mary smiled broadly and her eyes were glowing with the light shining through the trees along the gravel road. “Oh so just what we are now?”

“I suppose…but it would always feel more…I dunno…acceptable…more as a what if…we gave in and the family loved us and I wasn’t just a lowborn servant.” She finished with a slightly sad sigh.

Mary took her words and emotions behind them in, and wanted to respond in a way that would be perfect. She saw a small opening in the trees off the road and pulled Anna into them. The moss on the ground was difficult for their shoes to walk on.

“Mary what in the devil!” Anna said laughing.

Mary hid themselves behind a large pine. “I wrote you a poem my love.” She pressed Anna gently against the bark pulling the poem from her dress she had intended to give to Barrow. May I read it to you here and now?”

Anna was shocked and also giggling. “You wrote me a poem, My Lady?

“Mary….my name is Mary…” She scolded her and this further made Anna laugh.

“My apologies, Mary.” And pressed her fingers under her chin and gathered her face towards hers. “You are showing your mean Mary face to me? On my day off…” She whispered, kissing her and her neck softly.

Mary sighed, completely forgetting her thoughts. “I…Yes… I suppose…Oh.” She put her hands on Anna’s side. “You’re distracting me.”

Anna pushed her back and folded her hands safely in front of her. “I was under the impression you liked my kisses, Mary?” She resumed her soft kisses, keeping her hands from Mary’s body as best she could.

Mary was sighing and losing her resolve when she suddenly regained it. “My love.” She pushed them away. “Your kiss and your touch makes me believe in every god that has ever existed.” Mary said once again stunning Anna with her poetic words.

“Well then.” She waited for Mary to read to her this poem. “Tell me what it is you have written for me… my love.” She kept one hand on Mary’s arm.

Mary looked annoyed at that. “I’ll have you know I spent quite some time on this and if you dislike it I’ll have you dismissed.”

“Of course.” Anna nodded. “Now go on…”

Mary unfolded the parchment and felt anxious. “Now, this is my first time writing poetry.”

“For me?” Anna held one of her hands under her chin taunting her.

Mary fell forward and kissed her hard. “Yes for you, you utter minx.”

Anna released Mary and waited for her.

Mary cleared her throat and started reading it.

’When the night comes I only want you as my moonlight.
The glow of you becomes a part of me.
When I am unable to tell what is you and what part of me is I am
lost.
The stars hold less meaning than you do to me.

You have filled me more than any moment to memory and
I am simply left parched for you.

If me longing for you in the moonlight is what I have
Then that is enough drink for me.

Let me get lost in your eyes once again, my love I so long
For you to fulfill me with your gaze and will never stop being
Thirsty for the mouth you so graciously lend me when I am
Being starved for
Just that.

You. I am famished when you are not close and when I am
Flourishing in your gaze like the sunlight I am longing for the moment
Your sun touches me.

Take me in the moonlit hours so we have
The moments of peace. The moments of love.

I’ll love you eternally only if you’ll let me.’

She finished shyly folding the paper and placing it in Anna’s hand.

Anna was teary eyed looking longingly at Mary while placing the poem in her dress.

“Mary.” She said simply. “I…” She couldn’t find words for what she wanted to say.

Mary was shuffling awkwardly after reading the poem. “ I love you, Anna…I am enamoured with it and I am so in love I am haunted by it.” Mary said as she looked up, finding Anna’s glossed eyes. “My love.” She said. “You don’t have to say anything…I’m not a very good poet…however I just wanted to write you something because you love poems so much.”

Anna pulled her close and wrapped her arms around her neck and they kissed in the silence of the forest with the smell of pine and moss and without fear.

“Mary…” Anna had tears streaming down her face. “No one has ever said anything as beautiful as that to me…I… Please write me more poems.” Anna kissed her, hovering her mouth over Mary’s. “I love you eternally…” She whispered and they swayed in the silence.

Mary was for once, the first to pull back, “Oh so you liked it then?”

Anna pressed a light fist to her chest. “Yes you absolute buffoon….you wrote me a poem?” She said, astonished, making her way back to the road gesturing to Mary do the same.

Mary stepped lightly over the moss and grasped Anna’s hand. “Anna, if you cannot tell how much I am enamored with you then I am a fool.” She said in her signature Mary voice.

They walked into town in the familiar silence.

“Shall I write you a poem then? Since I love poems so much?” Anna said finally.

“Yes. I demand it.” Mary said, releasing her hand as they were now in eyesite of the village.

“Oh you demand it? Well then that’s settled.” Anna said.

They continued their walk.

“My love I have to go tell my future husband I won’t marry him.” She looked at Anna and they both fell into laughter. “Do not laugh, this is not funny!” Mary said, still laughing.

“Right you are. Not funny.” Anna pressed her lips together. “I have to go tell some stamps I'm not in love with them either” Which further sent them into their laughter.

They stood still on the cobblestones. “Well…wait for me so we can walk back perhaps?” Mary asked earnestly.

“Of course. If that’s what you want.”

“I’d rather walk back with you than anything else…and I was right by the way.”

Anna looked at her. “About what?”

“That dress matches your eyes better than the last one.” Mary smirked as she walked towards Matthews house.

****
Mary was still glowing with the moments she had just spent with Anna when she reached Matthew and Isobelle’s house. Oh his mother will forever detest me for this.

She knocked on the door and the butler opened it for her and she waited in the small hall for Matthew to ascend the stairs.

“Mary! What a surprise…I was also hoping to see you today….your father has asked me for dinner tonight.” Matthew gestured her into their sitting room.

“Oh…you were hoping to see me today as well?” Mary asked not used to being caught off guard.

Matthew sat across next to her on the sofa. “Yes…I….Oh how shall I put it…” Matthew stammered as their butler brought in the tea tray. “Yes thank you.” Matthew said dismissing him.

“Have I done something?” Mary asked concerned knowing full well she intended to break off their engagement.

Matthew ever the gentleman smiled at her and looked at his knees. “Mary, you do not want to marry me and I will not be the one to force it.”

Mary wasn’t overly shocked however she did think she’d have the upper hand at this.

“Matthew…you are correct… however I would like to say…I genuinely adore you.” She said and she meant it.

Matthew smiled. “Yes I actually do know that.” He poured her a cup of tea and handed it to her. “I am not someone you’re in love with and I can see that and I desperately want someone who is in love with me.”

Mary took a large drink of hot tea that burned her throat trying to keep her mask on. “Matthew…My father has forced many suitors at me and has left me with no choice and I don’t think I could make you happy.” She said, looking at him. HIs beautiful face. His complexion almost exactly as Anna’s.

Matthew stammered a laugh out. “I know…Mary I ... .I only want happiness for you and I know that I cannot bring that to you.” He placed a gentle hand on her knee. “Have you told Robert yet?”

Mary was so caught off about the way this entire interaction had transcended she looked quickly over at Matthew. “What?

“Have you told your father… I am still the heir to the estate…however I’d still like you at my side even if you are not my wife.”

Oh for god's sake why wasn’t he so insufferable she couldn’t stand him instead he was so kind it made her love him.

“What? She said again.

“I’d like you to help me run the estate no matter whom you are with.” He said.

Mary was reeling with this information.

“I’m not sure Papa would approve of that…” Mary stammered. “And I haven’t found a husband yet regardless.” She added.

“He doesn’t have to.” Matthew said lifting his hand off her knee he sighed and fell back into the couch. “ To be honest, marrying seemed like such a large task. I am glad you don’t want to either.”

Mary looked at him sternly before they both fell into a fit of stifled laughter.

“Well I’ll try not to take offense to that!” She said, setting her cup down.

“Mary I am clearly not the person you want to spend your life with and I won’t be the one to force you to do so…I think the…person you want…isn’t a man.” He added not making eye contact.

Mary became stiff and still. Not knowing how to respond to such allegations that were very much accurate. “That’s such a strong…why would you even say that?” Mary was trying to recover.

“Mary. I hope that we can be friends. I do enjoy your company…however…I think you’re in love with someone….and something…that will prove to be much more difficult.”

Mary sat with her hands folded against her lap thinking of how she should talk her way out of this and couldn’t find one and placed her mean Mary mask on.

“Well…I might not be the first born son but I still desire to marry a woman.” She said, looking at him sternly.

Matthew smiled and nodded towards the floor. “Yes, I thought that might be the case…” He said.

Mary tried to hold her stance if he should repute with mean words but he never would. Matthew was such a kind man.

“Well…I am glad we had this conversation before joining the family for dinner….I apologize but I will still be around… It’s not my choice but a good one for me…I am so glad to know you and I want you to be my friend.” Matthew said.

Mary’s resolve diminished slightly. “Well…I’m not quite sure what to say…are you not….repulsed?” She had to ask.

Matthew shook his head to the side. “Not at all. I only wish you well and…whomever she is…which I think I actually have a fairly decent idea ... .is lucky to be with you.”

Mary folded. “Oh, Matthew…I’m not sure…I am so cross all of the time and she finds me adoring and I only want to be soft for her however I’m not sure what to do.” She almost teared up, but kept her head held high.

Matthew considered this before responding. “Well…I’m not sure what type of advice I could give you but I will say you are not the first type…I have met…I think I actually knew very early on.”

Mary looked at him quickly. “Oh?”

“Yes.”

“Pray tell?”

Matthew clasped his hands in his lap. “I think you standing up at dinner defending Anna for one…and not to be so arrogant, but women have never found me repulsive the way you have shown.”

Mary looked truly angry. “I have never found you repulsive!”

Which made Matthew laugh one again. “Whenever I’d try and hold your hand or kiss you it felt as if you were trying your best to not run….”

Mary leaned back into the couch. “Oh Matthew, please, can we still be friends? I truly adore you.” She said, closing her eyes.

“Of course, Mary…I’ll support you with whatever you decide…in fact I think it's terribly unfair that you cannot be the heir…maybe once we tell Robert we can convince him that we can be joint heirs of the estate.”

Mary sat up. “And what makes you think I want someone to be a joint heir with me?” She said in her highborn accent

Matthew laughed. “Nothing. But I think that is the only choice….besides…I think you being in love with your maid is enough to give Robert heart issues.”

Mary looked at him with her brown eyes wide. “How dare?....”

He started laughing and so did she.

****

Anna was leaving the post office after purchasing stamps for Ms. Hughes and started to walk down the road back towards the Abbey knowing Mary was most likely in a hard situation. I should be close by.

She turned around and walked towards Matthew and Isobelle’s house, pandering around the square hoping her lingering wouldn’t draw too much gossip when Mary was outside the gate with Matthew.

“Oh I am so sorry My Lady…Mr.Matthew…I just knew the Lady was in the village at the same time and-”

“Anna.” He said.

“Would you both like a car or would you prefer to walk back?”

Anna looked at Mary with a glint of fear in her eyes when Mary spoke up.

“Thank you, Matthew. We’ll walk back.” She held his hand and let it go as she walked towards Anna. “ I will see you at dinner.” She added over her shoulder ushering Anna down the street.

They stayed silent for some time until Anna couldn’t stand it. “So it went well?”

“Just wait until we are further down the road…my love.” Mary said.

Anna held her head down. To everyone it looked as if Mary was with her ladies maid.

They left the village and when their feet were off the cobblestones Mary spoke.

“He knew.”

Anna looked at her with a terrified look. “Oh god…”

“No ... .he was ever the gentleman…he said he wanted to make me also in charge of the estate and that he would help me this evening with telling my father…” Mary grabbed her hand as the sound of the village trailed away and the sound of the trees became louder.

Anna was shocked by this. “What?”

Mary laughed and gripped her hand tighter. “This is good… Matthew was aware…that I am in love with you ... .by the way he said you by name…and that he agreed I should also have a hand in running Downton.” Mary said happily.

Anna was truly lost for words at this.

“Mary…What…I’m sorry…” Anna stammered.

Mary looked at her adoringly. “What is causing you to be so flustered?”

Anna pulled her hand from Mary’s. “Your suitor knows about us?”

Mary sighed. “My love…as you said…I am not as transparent as I think I am…”

Anna’s mouth was open as they walked further down the gravel road. “Well…you certainly aren’t…so it seems to everyone but Lord Grantham.”

“Leave him to me…I’m telling him tonight ... .not about you specifically just that I will not marry Matthew and having him on my side helps.” She pulled Anna’s hand to her mouth and kissed the glove covering it delicately.

Anna and her walked in silence for some time when Anna clung to her hand held by Mary tightly and tugged her into the trees as Mary had done prior.

“Oh so I am made to walk through moss and grass for you now my love?” Mary said playfully.

Anna was all but teasing or playing. These types of relationships were forbidden and she had fallen for the one person she shouldn’t have.

“Yes.” She said, grasping at her dress and pulled her deeper into the woods.

“Aren’t we far enough for me to kiss you?” Mary said.

Eventually they were according to Anna.

“Now we are.”

Anna kissed her.

They bobbed back and forth kissing softly until Anna deepened the kiss and for once pushed Mary up against the large tree hiding them from the road.

“Mary…” Anna said in between her breaths as Mary was reaching the same tempo as her. “The idea of you being mine is too much…it’s all I could ever want…” She pushed Mary’s neckline to the side and kissed her collarbone and bit down on her skin.

“Oh….”Mary said, leaning into the kisses. “Oh it’s all I have ever wanted as well my darling my-”

Anna bit down on her breast over her dress and knelt down lifting up her dress.

“Anna… you…” Mary was silenced when Anna bit her thigh and moved her mouth under Mary’s dress to her center. “Oh…Anna…Ungh…”

Anna pulled down her garments as much as she could and placed her tongue on Mary’s center as hard as she could hard.

Mary groaned and leaned back against the tree placing her hand instinctively on Anna’s hair when Anna gave one last flick of her tongue and went to stand up and adjusted Mary’s dress so she was presentable.

Mary was breathing heavily and looking at her with her dark eyes.

“Oh but why did you stop my love? You could have had me right here in this forest.”

Anna kissed with her face still damp with Mary’s wetness.

“Well then what will you think about at dinner then?”

Mary’s eyes got even darker and more sinister. “You are truly evil.”

“Shall we finish walking back? Anna grabbed her hand and Mary grabbed it with a sigh.

“I suppose however I will forever be damning you for this moment…”

They walked over the soft ground back to the gravel walkway and soon found themselves in view of the Abbey.

“I don’t even have the gift of seeing you for dinner and you leave me in this state…how disrespectful.” Mary said.

Anna laughed. “Shall I sneak off in the night once again?”

Mary kissed her hand and let it down. “Only if you can, love.”

They walked further down the road knowing their time together would be over soon.

“Mary.”

Mary hummed a yes looking at her.

“What do you want for us?” Anna asked.

Mary started smiling wider than ever and laughed still holding tightly to her hand despite being so close to the manor.

“Oh my love…I want everything…even if it’s nothing…I want to write you poetry and recite it to you…I want to see you each morning when I awake. I want to…my goodness… I want to dance with you, I want to take you to the sea…I want to kiss you with reckless abandon whenever I please…I want to braid your hair and give you fancy dresses and see you in them and then take them off…” Mary rambled, smiling.

Anna laughed. “Oh that’s so much my lady are you sure you wouldn't’ second guess any of them?” Anna asked stopping them as they were close to their departure point.

“No.” Mary said immediately. “Kiss me.”

Anna looked around. “Mary…not so close to the house.”

“Kiss me.” She said again.

Anna leaned in and kissed her softly and Mary pushed her mouth closer to hers and they kissed without abandon. The afternoon sunlight draped them in a shroud of bliss.

Mary pulled away first and looked into Anna’s eyes with a wild desire. “I love you.”

Anna smiled and pressed one of Mary’s hands against her cheek. “I know.”

Mary stepped closer. “I’ll always take care of you…I’ll always make sure you’re safe.” Mary grabbed her hand and kissed it.

Anna left her embrace and dropped her hand. “My love…”

Mary smiled so that it melted Anna’s heart.

“We have to go… you have to tell your father…that you are…” Anna faltered.

“That I love you. Yes. I do.” Mary said without hesitation. “And I shall.”

They once again came back to holding one another like it was as easy as breathing.

“Mary I am just going to say…If you cannot than…my love just it’s okay it’s-”

Mary pulled her into her so fast Anna had no time to finish her sentence she just kissed her. Outside the front door of the Abbey.

“I will not be kept from you.” Mary said sternly.

Anna left her embrace. “Well then…I guess I can just say I hope it goes well.” Anna walked backwards. “If I don’t leave your embrace right now Mary I won't ever leave it again.”

Mary took a few steps back as well. “And why is that my dearest?”

Anna cocked her head to the side. “Oh I suppose…I just can’t contain myself.”

Mary stepped back further. “Contain yourself from what?” She had that devious glint in her eyes.

“From what transpired in the woods…” Anna said and finally turned around and made her way towards the servants entrance.

Mary watched her go. “I do hope that you finish that thought.”

Anna glanced back at her. “I shall think of it all evening my love” She slightly shouted as she opened the gate and left.

Chapter Text

Mary was once again being dressed by Gwen.

“Gwen.” She asked.

“Yes M'lady?”

“You said your mother would be…well..appalled…please tell me what you think however…Of me…” Mary gathered herself the best she could reminding herself that Anna had told Gwen about them. “Tell me how you feel about myself and Anna.” She said standing up after Gwen had finished pulling her long hair back and braiding small portions.

Gwen looked down and slightly terrified.

“Oh please I am not that terrifying am I?

This made Gwen laugh. “Well…can I speak plainly, your ladyship?”

“Please.” Mary said, annoyed.

“You are… and when it comes to you and Anna…I actually find it quite…Oh….romantic.” Gwen finished backing toward the door like she had an easy exit.

Mary stood still. “Well…women need to be heard and I want to be heard and if that makes me terrifying then so be it…and for the other you are correct.” She said, pulling her silk gloves on. “I know I have no right to speak to you about such things as I am…oh…as I am so privileged…however…I cannot help it…Gwen.” She said with a finality.

“I am deeply and madly in love with Anna.” She said so casually as she placed perfume on her neck.

Gwen was so taken by her words she wasn’t sure whether she should leave or stay and continue.

“My Lady…I…”She stuttered.

“Speak.” Mary said in her mean Mary voice.

“Oh I just wanted to say…that I have never seen Anna as happy…I don’t understand it fully…but Lady Sibyl has told me somewhat and I know that love is rare.” She finished and smiled and left the room.

Yes love was rare.

Mary left her room moments after with a refound confidence of telling her father she would not marry Matthew, who was also on her side.

She found her family in the library and sat down next to Edith who looked at her questionably .

“What has you so happy this evening…” She said not as an insult.

“I’m telling Papa I am not marrying him.” She said, sipping her brandy.

“Well…the mighty Mary Crawley…tossing aside the best suitor…whatever will he say.” Edit said with a small pat on her thigh.

“Thank you, Edith, that's the comfort I needed.”

Their grandmother entered and the family banter began. Mary was waiting for bait and then Matthew came into the room.

“I apologize for being late.” He said sitting close to Mary.

“Not to worry son we were just about to move through.” Robert replied.

They made their way into the dining room and Mary felt a tingly sensation in her body, one that fueled her words. Anna’s eyes. Anna’s touches and her hold on her. Her smile and her laughter and their quiet comfort and their need for their love. Anna desired her. She desired Anna. She wouldn’t be kept from her.

Matthew was sat next to her and he gave her a reassuring look as they started dinner.

***

Anna sat at the servants table mending one of Mary’s dresses casually drinking her tea and conversing with her coworkers when Carsons stormed into the hall causing them all to stand up.

“Oh Anna, I know it is your day off but…” He looked towards the kitchen as William was holding his hand yowling. “ I just….It is such short notice but you are the expert…in this as apparently our footman is unable to.”

Ms. Pattmore was holding a cold rag over Williams' hands.

Anna was so flustered at the idea she didn’t even know what to say. Not only was it her day off, it was the moment Mary had decided to tell her family she would not marry Matthew and that felt like something she shouldn’t be a part of or present for.

“Of course, Mr. Carson…I have to change however…”

“Well…do it quickly!”

***

Mary was listening to her father talk about the estate and the words her grandmama had for him when the servants entered and she saw her…

She was not supposed to be here.

Mary looked at Anna with an almost glare and she responded with a grim nod and turned around to put the craft of wine down.

Oh god her uniform always sent her she wanted to lift it up and slide her tongue across her and-

Anna’s sudden presence did not go unnoticed.

“Carson, I thought I had said to give poor Anna a day off!” Violet said.

“My lady…I am…Anna has had…”

“Oh never mind…As I have previously said I always enjoy seeing such beauty in the dining room for a change…well aside from Barrow who is quite handsome..” The Dowager said once again harnessing looking from everyone at the table except Mary. This caused Thomas to smile and chuckle slightly. What a devious old woman.

Anna, once again, started with the Dowager and made her way around the table nervously knowing that now every single person here knew of their love affair except Lord Grantham.
Anna received kind thank yous from the family and when she reached Mary she openly, and much more audibly than she had in the past, said, “Thank you, my darling.”

Sibyl and Edith and Cora gave Mary a daring look.

“Yes, Mary.” Anna replied.

Carson was the only one who seemed perturbed at Anna not using the proper way to address someone in the family and when Anna reached the station again, Carson gave her not only a glare but a confused look.

The first course was being served and Anna walked out of the dining room to the hall where the wine selections were kept shaking with nerves. Mary and Matthew were going to call off their engagement tonight and she had to watch it and hope that they weren’t given away. Lord Grantham would surely fire her and banish her from the abbey on the spot if that was the case.

“Hey let’s just act normal shall we?” Thomas said, bringing her once again back to reality.

The panic in Anna’s eyes was intense. “Thomas, she's telling His Lordship tonight and I was not supposed to be here!” She looked around to make sure nobody was around. “What if she gets bold and says something about us!” She said in the best hushed voice she could.

Thomas exhaled a small whistle. “Well then that’ll be something for the Crawley family history books then wont it?” He nodded towards the wine for the next course. “Let’s just act like we're low peasants for now right?”

Anna couldn’t help but laugh. “Fine.”

Thomas held the tray of dinner up and entered first and Anna followed.

Anna had her back faced to the dining room table trying to discern where they were in their conversation. It seemed mundane about the estate and Matthew was telling Robert some plans he had for it and she turned around and started serving the wine for the main course.

Matthew suddenly piped up. “You know, Robert…I think the ones who know the estate best are the servants.”

The dining table went silent and Mary immediately found Anna’s eyes as she filled Lady Grantham’s wine glass.

Robert scoffed. “Whatever do you mean?”

Matthew cleared his throat. “Well they work. They know what needs to be done more than we ever will” and he looked up towards Carson, Thomas and over to Anna. “I will always be welcoming to ideas from the staff.”

Carson looked horrified. “My Lord, I am not sure that’s appropriate.” He flustered looking at his lordship.

Lord Grantham looked thoroughly annoyed. “And where does this come from then, Matthew? Surely not Mary’s maid.”

This caused Anna to go red in embarrassment. I’m just her maid.

Mary’s mean face was on full display immediately. “Her name is Anna and do not be so cross in front of her Papa ... .again.” Her eyes were dark with rage.

Lord Grantham looked around to the others at the table looking for support and found that nobody gave any. “Am I missing something?”

Cora pursed her lips looking at her daughters and then at Mary who was trying to harness her rage. “Robert. Mary is asking you to be kind and I expect you to do so while at the dinner table.” She gave Robert a stern but loving look to her husband.

Anna was so uncomfortable she thought she might dissolve on the spot and when pouring Mary’s wine she couldn’t help but lock eyes with her. Mary’s eyes instantly softened. She was so divine however. Even when she was so angry. Anna thought.

“No, Robert, I do think the input of the tenants and staff are detrimental to running an estate properly. If you don’t know how the…other half thinks…then how can you gain the entire picture?” Matthew said.

“Let’s leave this discussion for later if you wouldn’t mind, Matthew.” Lord Grantham rolled his eyes and continued eating his.

Matthew looked at Mary. “Small steps my dear…” He whispered.

Mary smiled at him.

Anna was thankfully able to leave the dining room without a second glance and quickly ran down the stairs and once again made it to the courtyard hoping that Thomas would find her.

He did.

He raised his eyebrows. “I feel as if there is something you haven’t told me.” He lit a cigarette and handed it to Anna who took it desperately.

“Mr. Matthew knows of Mary and myself. He wasn’t…offended by it…and told Mary he agreed that they should call off the engagement and that he would help us…oh I’m not sure… be together?” She finished holding her other hand out for Thomas’s flask which he gave up to her without thinking.

“Oh my goodness we’re in the thick of it now aren’t we.” He sat down and Anna followed suit. “I am going to rightfully assume that is why he brought up listening to the downstairs staff.”

Anna held her head back, sighing out the cold night air. “I can’t say for his motives, but yes it seems maybe so ... .oh god Thomas I am such a fool for doing this.” She thought she’d be on the verge of tears but a fear had been gripping her heart all evening. What if I can never hold her again.

Thomas pondered this for a bit. “Well…” He started choosing his words carefully. “You once told me that you were entering dark waters you didn’t think you’d be able to come back from.”

Anna looked up at him. “Yes.”

“I don’t think you’re a fool…I think you fell for someone…who loves you very much, Anna. That is something not many get and…” He grabbed the flask back from Anna and took a small pull. “And that is not something to regret at least in my opinion.”

Anna started crying, dropping her cigarette on the ground smashing it with her foot. “Oh why can’t folks like us just exist.”

Thomas put a hand on her shoulder as she cried. “Ah. If only I could answer that for you.” He smiled towards the ground. “Now I’ve got to go back up. Go clean yourself up and rest oi?”

****

Mary couldn’t help but note her family's eyes on her, particularly her grandmothers as they ended dinner and went into the library for after dinner drinks.

Matthew however pulled her arm and looped it around his in a reassuring way. “Let me lead…it might go smoother?” His eyebrows raised in a question which brought a smile to Mary’s face.

“He certainly isn’t wanting to hear anything I have to say…which might end with a slap.” She added which did make Matthew cough down a laugh.

They sat and resumed their talks when Matthew decided it was time and he looked reassuringly at Mary.

“ We have something to say.” He said as the room went silent. Thomas was midway through the room with a new tray of drinks to offer and he thought oh this is it.

“Have you finally agreed upon a date then?’ Rober smiled hopefully.

Meanwhile the rest of the girls were waiting on edge for the inevitable. Cora sat up pointedly and Mary could see her breath in deeply and nod at her and Matthew.

“No, Robert…it’s just that…I don’t feel like Mary and I are a good match. I’d much rather be someone akin to a friend than a husband. That is to say…We will not be marrying…which we have both agreed upon.” He squeezed Mary’s hand who had gone numb losing all of her resolve

Robert looked between them and then at the others.

“Oh I see now…I am the last to find this out. Who was it that dissuaded you from joining ... .Mary's damn maid.” He said draining his glass and grabbing another from the tray Thomas was holding. “Mary…I know this is your fault damn you…I told you.” He began to get angrier than Mary had ever seen him. “Well…say something!” He shouted.

“Robert this is something both of us have decided not just-” Matthew became defensive.

“No I can assure you dear Matthew this is entirely my daughter's fault…she refuses to do anything to benefit her well being and pushes away anyone who might make her happy.” He turned towards the fireplace.

The silence in the room was heavy. Thomas stood back and set the tray down and looked pointedly at Carson who had a curious expression. Oh that’s right Mary is his favorite.

The room remained silent for a few more seconds.

Mary started to open her mouth to speak when Edith spoke up.

“Papa…what is so wrong with Mary choosing her own fate?”

This left a massive wake in the room. Even more so than what Matthew had said.

Robert turned around towards her with a sneer. “Why am I not being heard by any of you?” He looked towards all of his girls.

“Robert.” Cora piped up. “Sometimes the things we don’t see…explain much more than we expect…Matthew and Mary are not in love and not wanting to be.” She said.

“Cousin Cora is right. However I do adore Mary deeply and we both want to retain a close friendship.” He looked at her encouragingly. “I fear I have become fond of Mary…however not in the way you intended.” Matthew looked at Robert who was reeling with this information.

“My god cannot my life be easy.” He said looking up towards the ceiling. “Matthew….no Mary… you do realize that you will not inherit any title by this? You are forfeiting any semblance of a title? One you have so craved since you were a child?” He yelled.

Mary was pulled out of her trance. “Damn you to hell.” She said standing up. Her being the same height as her father helped. “If I were a man I wouldn’t have to marry anyone…anyone! In order to be your predecessor!” She walked up to her father with the mask she could so easily place. “You have never wanted that and you could so easily do so. You have never wanted me to be happy.”

The rest of the family was still at Mary’s words waiting for the second blow.

Robert looked even more cross. “Yes. If only I had a son.”

Mary’s fists were clenched knowing full well the entire room was watching her every move but she couldn’t help but mimic what she had said to Matthew earlier that day. “I may not be your first born son, father ... .but…like a first born son would…I do desire to marry a woman.” She sneered at him. Her speech left him aghast.

Mary did not back down. “How disgraceful for you. The Earl of Grantham. His first born child. Failed him.” She said, sneering.

Her mother and sisters were at a loss when Sibyl finally broke the very intense silence.

“Papa…” She stood up and placed her hands on her fathers arm. “Please.” is all she said. Her beautiful face pleading.

Matthew was not expecting the call off of their engagement to barrel roll into the discussion of Mary’s sexuality and was trying to find a way to neutralize the situation. “Robert…”

The Countess was watching this all unfold, choosing her time to interject.

Robert looked at Mary with such disdain it broke Mary’s heart immediately. “Then…I’d rather only have two daughters and not one like you at ALL!” He said, throwing his glass of brandy on the floor. “Carson!” He yelled.

Carson was so full of concern he wasn’t sure who to look at. “Yes…Yes My Lord…” He said, looking at the room.

“That damned maid…will leave tonight…give her enough money to stay in the village so she isn’t…adrift…but she will be gone!” He yelled looking at Mary whose heart plummeted.

“No! No you cannot do that!”

“Robert!”

“Papa!”

Edith stood up as well, reaching for Mary.

“I can and I will. Carson.” He nodded towards the butler.

“Then you will never see me again!” Mary yelled as Matthew held her back. “If you do this…you will never see me again!” Mary’s eyes were so dark with rage Thomas was shocked she hadn’t brought lighting down on the house as the words fell from her mouth.

Robert paced watching his girls all look at him.

“Robert.” The Dowager finally decided to chime in. “Your rage is not productive. Do not think I have no power here anymore as I will have you whipped if you send away my first grandchild for the simple act of being in love.” She said with an anger Mary had never seen.

Thomas watched this unfold looking at Carson for a cue as to if he should leave or-

“Barrow….Did you know of this?” Robert yelled at him.

Thomas swallowed and tried to find the correct words glancing at Mary whose face was so full of rage and fear.

“My Lord I-”

“Nonsense…I saw you!” He pointed at Mary. “ I saw you both! In the gardens. I am disgusted with you….Carson…dismiss the maid…tonight!” He yelled.

Carson looked so conflicted and then said, “Yes My Lord.”

“NOW!” Robert demanded which made Carson flinch.

“I WILL GO WITH HER!” Mary yelled. “Don’t think you can do this without losing me because I will always choose her. I love her!” She started shaking and crying and her mother walked over and held her.

“Robert! Please, you need to calm down!” Cora said shooting her husband a disdainful look.

Robert pressed a hand over his mouth and left the room without another word.

The silence was so loud it pounded in Mary’s ears.

“He was always once for theatrics.” The Dowager said. “Cora…we’ll speak tomorrow…Oh who is here to…Carson call the motor for me please.”

Carson turned and left at once to summon her driver.

“Well.” Matthew said.

“Matthew I am assuming this is not the first you’ve heard of this?” Cora held Mary steady.

Matthew shook his head. “No Cora….and for the record… I do not have the same…stance as Robert does.” He stood up. “However I do think this is a good moment to make my leave.”

He fumbled and followed him out into the foyer leaving Mary, Sibyl, Edith, and Cora in the library.

“Thank you, Thomas.” Mary said.

“My Lady?” Thomas asked.

“For everything.”

He nodded and continued to exit the room.

Mary was surrounded by her sisters. “I must see her and we can leave…we can…”

“No. You won't.” Cora said, gripping Mary’s arm. “Anna will not be banished but maybe…it’s best if she isn’t here at the moment…” She looked at her daughters.

“Mary…I can have Tom drive her into the village to stay at the Grantham Arms for the night…just so…just so…” Sibyl was failing her words.

Mary was numb and still full of her rage. “I will stay with her.” She said leaving the room and walking quickly leaving her mother and sisters in their own silence.

“He will come around.” Cora said to Edith and Sibyl.

“If he doesn’t I can’t ever think I could forgive him.” Sibyl said and she too left.

Edith and her mother were the last ones left.

“You know…I think this makes me…understand Mary much more…and Mama…” Edith said.

“What my darling?” Cora said, holding back her emotions.

“I would never hate my sister for this.”

**
Thomas sprinted down the stairs into the servants hall out of breath looking for Anna. He saw Ms. Hughes.

“Ms.Hughes, do you know where Anna might be?”

“Heavens what has happened?” She said and when Thomas looked at her knowingly she understood. “Oh my.”

“Yes.” He said. “Oh my is right.”

Carson was there suddenly glaring at them both. “Our Lady Mary…off with…oh I….” He couldn’t even find the words to express whatever disgust or disdain he had.

Ms.Hughes for some reason found this annoying. “Oh the blessed Lady Mary has failed you? Is it so shocking? I for one am not shocked.” She clicked her mouth.

“Ms. Hughes! I am shocked at this!” He was starting to get angry, “His Lordship being so disrespected by the-”

“Oh for heaven's sake the family knows, Carson! They are not blind. Unlike you.” She followed Thomas out of the hall in search of Anna.

She wasn’t found in the courtyard and they clambered up the steps to the servants quarters and opened Anna and Gwen’s door unannounced, startling them both who were sitting still in uniform chatting on their beds.

“What in the hells?” Gwen said.

“Anna…” Ms. Hughes said, going towards her dresser. “You need to pack a small bag and stay in the village tonight.”

Anna was left without words and only opened her mouth. “I…Ms.Hughes…I…what…?”

“Just listen to me please.” She said adoringly.

“Let’s just say…His Lordship knows.” Thomas said, still breathing heavily from running from the library to the servants hall so quickly.

Anna’s eyes widened in fear. “Oh god.”

Gwen stood up and started to immediately help Ms.Hughes. “We’ll just pack the essentials!” She started folding some of Anna’s dresses and garments and toiletries and placing them in the carpet bag Anna had moved in with.

“Oh god.” Anna was being flooded with the idea of never coming back. Never seeing Mary again. “I must see her!” She said and before she could say another word Sibyl was there.

“Anna.” She crossed the small room gathering the situation. “I don’t think it’s forever you aren’t being dismissed however that would be up to Papa and Carson-”

Then as if summoned, Carson was there.

The room stopped their motions. Thomas was sitting next to Anna who was slowly starting to cry. Sibyl who was helping Gwen put her things in the bag, Ms.Hughes who was standing in the doorway as if to block it. They all stopped.

Carson looked between all of them and then finally Anna. “Anna…you have…” He was having such difficulty dismissing her as she was so kind and sweet…and also an asset to them all…didn’t have a mean bone in her body. “You are-”

And like something out of a novel Mary was brushing past Carson. “Anna!” She pulled her up into her arms and the room watched them. Mary had put on one of her coats over her evening gown and a hat.

Sibyl smiled at Gwen and Thomas. Ms.Hughes pursed her lips as if trying not to smile as well.

Carson looked horrified.

“Anna, we must go.” Mary said smoothing Anna’s hair and kissed her forehead. “I promised!” She said begging. “I promised you and I keep my promises.” Mary was also crying. Mary went to the wardrobe to grab a coat and started putting it on Anna and turned towards Carson. “Please save your words for me another time. I don't have it in me at the moment to yell at another man.” Mary said drawling.

Carson was left renderless watching the scene in the small dorm.

Ms.Hughes looked at him. “I don’t think we need your help any further Mr.Carson.” She held out a hand gesturing him out of the room. “I’ll explain it later.” She added with kindness.

He had no choice but to leave as he wouldn’t have known what to do regardless and stomped off mumbling.

Gwen and Sibyl continued packing a small bag for Anna. Who hadn’t been able to speak at all.

Thomas placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder and Mary smiled at him.

“My love.” She kissed Anna deeply and quickly. For the first time in front of others. With abandon. “We must go.”

Ms.Hughes nodded in agreement, her eyes cast downward.

“Tom is bringing the car around for you…Anna let’s just let this simmer over…I do not think Papa will stay in his anger long once Mary is gone.” Sibyl said, approaching them.

Anna smiled the best she could and Mary pulled her face into her hands. “I will not leave you…not ever.” She was so intense Anna had never seen her like this. Mary stood up straight and harnessed her aristocratic highborn tone. “Now, Ms.Hughes, I am assuming you do not want Anna to not be employed here is that correct?” She shot daggers at the poor old woman Anna almost scolded Mary for it.

“No My Lady. Anna will always have a place here…as long as…” She said simply folding her hands in front of her lap.

“Be damned what my father thinks.”

Mary grabbed the now packed bag from Sibyl and Gwen and pulled Anna over to her with a tight grasp. “We will be back.” She dragged Anna out of the room.

Thomas, Gwen, Sibyl, and Ms.Hughes all looked at one another.

“Well that was an evening I won’t forget.” Thomas said exiting the room.

“I’ll go with them.” Sibyl left quickly.

Gwen was speechless watching Ms.Hughes.

“Gwen.” She said and left.

Chapter Text

Mary was holding so tightly to Anna’s hand as they left the servants quarter and made their way down the stairs and into the foyer and Mary grabbed her small bag as well that was at the bottom of the staircase when Lord Grantham was there.

“So you are leaving then? Running off with a maid?” He shouted.

Mary dropped her bag loudly echoing through the hall as well as Anna’s hand and rapidly approached her father and got close to his face.

“Yes.” She sneered.

Robert slapped her. Hard. Mary put her hand across where he had struck her and knelt down in the blow.

“Mary!” Anna ran towards her helping her up who only had more of a resolve on her face and then stood up with even more resolve.

“I’d rather live in sin with her than live in denial and dismay under your roof.” Mary said, holding her cheek and spat at his feet.

“Get out of my sight.” He said and turned around to leave when Lady Grantham was there and put one of her hands in Robert’s face.

“If you ever…touch one of my daughters…like that again…I will be gone in the night as well.” She looked so murderous Anna wasn’t sure if the events unfolding in front of her were even real. Cora looked at both of them with her eyes only saying go.

Robert softened at his wife's words. The only person who could steal him.

He looked back at Mary and Anna with disgust as Sibyl joined them in the hall with her coat and hat on as well.

“Let me go with you.” She ushered them out of the hall before anything further could occur. “Please Tom’s waiting.” She said with urgency.

Mary and Anna left picking up their bags and left with a loud bang as the front doors closed.

Cora looked at her husband. “You will not be sleeping with me tonight…nor for a long time…until you undo what your actions have caused this evening.” She left and climbed up the staircase to her bedroom.

**

Anna had barely said words since she was immersed in this and Mary simply held her hand as they got into the car and Sibyl followed them.

“To the Grantham Arms, Tom.” She said.

“Yes My Lady.” Tom said.

They rode in silence for some time until Tom decided to break it. “I am guessing this evening did not go as planned?” His Irish accent was so attractive.

Sibyl laughed. “I guess not…and I fear it will go the same for us.” She said, smiling at her lap.

Mary was pulled out of her rage and desperation and looked at her sister. “What?”

Sibyl nodded laughing. “You aren’t the only Crawley sister to fall for a servant.”

Anna took a leaf out of Thomas’s book and decided to be coy. “Well…at least you’re both more acceptable than us. So you have that going for you.”

The car sat in silence and then broke into laughter.

Mary was still reeling from what Sibyl had said. “This whole time you’ve been supporting me you’ve been running around with the chauffeur!”

“Oh! Like you haven’t been running around with your maid?” Sibyl responded.

Tom coughed awkwardly and pulled up to the village's lodging.

Mary grabbed Anna’s hand and they left through the car door as Sibyl followed.

“Wait here my darling.” She said to Tom.

Mary found this all very intriguing and was upset she couldn’t focus on it more.

“My darling? Sibyl? How long-”

“Mary. Let’s get you and Anna a room.”

Anna, who was overwhelmed, followed them into the establishment picking up her bag that Gwen and Ms.Hughes packed for her.

“But you and the chauffeur? When did this start?”

Sibyl was laughing. “Oh I’m sorry, is falling in love with your maid less daring than falling in love with the chauffeur?”

Mary rolled her eyes and grabbed Anna’s hand possessively. “We shall discuss it later then…”

Sibyl handled booking them a room and Mary was worried that Anna had been so quiet and was holding her shoulders and when a key was given to them for a room with two beds so as to not draw attention and all three of them went up.

Finally Anna spoke up. “Lady Sibyl. I cannot thank you enough for your kindness.” She sat her bag down and placed her hands over her face.

Sibyl reached her and hugged her tightly. “Nothing is hopeless! That’s what I always like to think….you have all of us on your side…and Papa and well…Carson will have to be sueded however maybe Tom and I can help.”

Mary still had not gotten over the sudden information of her little sister and the chauffeur.

“You and Tom!” She looked at her. “How exactly long has this been-”

“Mary! I just helped you and your girlfriend escape the abbey and you are trying to scold me for falling for Tom!” Sibyl said jokingly.

Mary rolled her eyes. “I suppose not but my god our poor father.”

Anna watched Mary and Sibyl laugh at the situation amused at how easily Mary’s mood could be deterred.

Sibyl noted Anna’s downcast look. “Anna…It seems as if our father will have to accept us…do not lose hope.” She grasped her arm. “I’ll take my leave.”

Mary looked at her sister. “Well I guess enjoy the long ride home.” She winked.

Sibyl laughed. “Oh we shall.” And left Mary and Anna alone in the room.

Mary instantly looked at her lover.

“My darling…” She kissed her forehead and pulled her into her arms.

Anna was shaking and then at Mary’s touch began to feel her muscles loosen and she started to laugh.

Mary pulled back so she could see her face. “Are you going into some sort of fit please tell me?”

“Lady Sibyl is running off with the chauffeur…you’re running off with your maid….your father will be..” She couldn’t finish her sentence when they both started laughing and Mary pulled off her coat and so did Anna.

“My my…what a family…oh Anna.” She kissed her deeply. “I think Sibyl and Tom will actually help Papa not detest me…” She placed her elegant red coat across the back of the chair and started to take off her dress when Anna was there.

“Let me help you.”

“Oh my love you don’t-”

Anna kissed the back of her neck. “I know…but let me…”

She started to undress Mary as she had done a hundred times however this time in such a new setting the act only made it more familiar.

“I love you. I told you. I love you.” Mary said asserting herself when Anna had her down to her shift and went to her bag and saw that Mary had packed the long black nightgown she adored.

“I know..shh…” She placed the gown over her and started to take off her maid’s uniform when she suddenly panicked. “Oh god…this isn’t mine…If i don’t return you’ll have to-”

Mary kissed her. “I’ll have to ask you to wear it for me when I want something to tease me in.” Mary said, helping Anna out of her dress.

“Mary.” Anna looked at her scornfully.

“I said I would never lie to you…oh how lucky I am that it is this one…it’s the one I want to pull off so often.”

Anna laughed and when it was unlaced and Mary was prying it off of her she helped and was in her shift and Mary instead of going to Anna’s bag went to hers and pulled out a navy blue gown.

“Here…you deserve to sleep in something silk.” She pulled the shift off Anna as she had done for her and placed the gown over her naked body pushing thoughts out of her head of what she wanted to do to Anna’s body.

They stood dressed for bed and Mary grabbed her hands and they cuddled in the bed that wasn’t nearly as soft or comfortable as Mary’s .

‘Well.” Mary said after a while which sent Anna into a fit of giggles.

“Well what are you laughing over?’ She pressed their bodies together. “I can adapt and I will and would if that’s what it comes to…I have to be with you…” Mary kissed Anna’s face as she was trying to stop laughing.

“Oh, Mary….oh my love.” She kissed her mouth. “I just…I cannot…You must really…you must really love me too…”

“To give up my whole world? Did I not tell you this?” Mary sounded annoyed and pressed her mouth to Anna’s hair. “What else must I do to convince you?”

Anna stopped her giggling, but not with ease. “Nothing my love. I know…oh I will have a hard time sleeping…I cannot believe what is happening back at the Abbey…” She sounded worried.

Mary once again sounded annoyed. “I hope my father is miserable.”

Anna looked up at her as Mary tucked blankets around Anna lovingly. “You must tell me what happened…I was just talking with Gwen when suddenly the cavalry rushed the room!”

Mary kissed Anna so deeply and passionately Anna forgot her question. Mary spent her time kissing her. No rush. No need for Anna to leave the bed before daybreak.

“Matthew told Papa that we would not be marrying and he said some…oh he said horrible things…and then I just…Oh Anna I said I was in love with a woman and…oh my he said that he had seen us together…my mother and sisters luckily were on my side….however he said he was to banish you this night and I screamed that I would go with you and he…well you saw him in the hall…” Mary was talking and grabbing tighter to Anna.

“My love I am so sorry…” Anna said she felt so guilty that it was her fault that falling out with Mary and her father was over her. “Very kind of Matthew to stick up for you.” She said into Mary’s skin. However, she couldn’t help but apologize. “My love this is all my fault I should have left long ago and not have fallen for you so early and oh Mary I am so-”

Mary pressed her mouth onto hers so harshly their teeth clashed and the kiss was no longer gentle Anna matched her energy and grabbed onto Mary’s arms as if she’d be torn away from her at any second.

“Nothing will keep me from you!” Mary said with the remaining anger she had gathered in the basket of her emotions all evening. “Nothing!” She suddenly reached up Anna’s gown and grabbed one of her breasts tightly causing Anna to gasp. “How could this?” She kissed her collar bone. “Be” she bit down on Anna’s shoulder. “Anything” She placed her mouth over Anna’s. “But divine…but perfect.” Anna was breathing heavily, her eyes barely open. “Anna, look at me now.” She demanded. Anna opened her eyes. “Tell me you think this is wrong and I will leave this bed in an instant.” Mary had an anger in her eyes Anna had not seen before.

“We are divine….and you are mine.” Anna said, lunging towards her mouth and they tangled into one another. Their legs, their arms and their lips moving at anything they could reach. “You are mine!” Anna pulled Mary’s hair tilting her head backwards in a domineering way. “Mine. You understand?”

Mary was breathless. “Tell me again.” She begged and Anna started layering harsh kisses on her neck, holding her hair tighter almost afraid she was hurting her but Mary’s moans were more than enough to encourage her. “Nobody will have you but me…” She knelt up, her lips puffy and swollen looking at Mary’s red marks she had left on her neck. “Tell me now.” She was still gripping Mary’s hair. They hadn't taken it down and it was falling into a mess around her face. “Tell me!”

Mary was so aroused she was drowning. “I promise…you ... .I am…I am yours” She said finally locking eyes with her cocking her head to the side. Anna’s fingers still gripping tightly to her hair. “You’re the only one I'd ever allow to demand anything from me…” She looked devious. “What is it you demand of me right now?” She licked her lips, not leaving Anna’s eyes.

Anna was full of anger at the entire situation and burning with desire she pushed forward and pulled one of Mary’s hands up to her mouth and placed her long fingers into her mouth and heard Mary gasp as she pushed and pulled and sucked on them and then moved Mary’s hand down towards Mary’s own core.

“Show me.” she said. Mary was grasping what she wanted and nodded heavily barely being able to contain herself.

Anna lifted up Mary’s black nightgown and motioned for her to touch herself.

Mary obliged and started to close her eyes when Anna pushed her face up. “No. Look at me.” She said, kissing her.

“Yes, Anna.” She sighed moving her own fingers faster across her clit. “Yes Anna.” she kept saying.

“You’re mine…”Anna kissed her neck and pulled the thin strap of her nightgown down off her shoulder for easier access to her breasts and began to fill her mouth with them as she felt Mary’s hand move faster. “You are mine.”

Mary was rendered speechless and continued to do whatever Anna said.

Anna knelt up watching Mary’s face scrunch and sigh at her own movements. “That’s it my love…come undone for me….Let me watch…” Anna whispered which sent Mary almost over the edge as she furiously palmed herself. “Tell me that you will always think of me when you come undone.” Anna asserted herself once again pulling Mary’s head back so she could place her tongue in one long slow trail up her neck.

“Ungh…Oh Anna…I will always…oh…”

“You’ll think of me always.” Anna put one of Mary’s breasts into her mouth and bit on her nipple causing Mary to cry out in ecstasy. Her hand moving faster as she was reaching her climax.

“It’s always been you…”She came hard gasping loudly, reaching her free hand up onto Anna’s back digging her nails in letting out such sounds Anna felt she would come undone as well.

Anna kissed any part of her she could and laid on her back pulling Mary into her arms she was so taken aback at her assertiveness.

“Oh my, please talk to me like that more often.” Mary said, rubbing her lips across Anna’s shoulder intoxicated.

Anna felt nothing but pride.

“I thought you liked it when I scolded you for being mean…” Her sunshine demeanor suddenly came back.

Mary laughed. “Yes…I like that…I like this much more…” She knelt up and kissed Anna. “That was…oh….” She couldn’t find words.

They were lost in their own world for once away from the Abbey, away from the family and work.

Mary was humming with her release and smelling Anna’s skin. “Oh you always smell so heavenly…like the grasses…like the breeze…you’re my garden.” She said facing Anna.

They stayed like that for some time basking in each other. Soaking up their new found freedom to love freely.

“Anna I do have to say once again…the domineering you…was just…divine.” Mary laughed into her shoulder. “Oh I will be haunted by that forever my love.”

Anna and her giggled. “I do apologize if I hurt you. I don't know what came over me to be honest…I…seeing your father strike you in such a way really…oh I wanted to toss myself between you and give him a few words of my own.” Anna said.

“I’m not sure he’ll come around, but as I have said we can go to America for a while…we can go to London and stay with my Aunt…we have options ... .the only option I am not open to is being apart from you my love.”

Anna hummed in agreement. “I still can’t help but feel guilty.”

Mary sat up and leaned over her. Her eyes wide. “If it were not for you I'd not know what true love was or how to be…or how to be!” She finished holding one hand up and letting it fall back to the bed in confusion. “Oh I don’t even know what I am trying to say! You render me utterly useless!”

Mary crawled on top of Anna and straddled her. “You have always done so.” She held both of Anna’s hands intertwined in hers. “Now…I really…thoroughly…enjoyed…that…may I?

Anna laughed. “May you what…My Lady?” She added for good measure.

Mary pulled her nightgown off completely and did the same to Anna.

“May I?” She picked up Anna’s hand and kissed her palm and each of her fingertips. “May I do the same…”

Anna squirmed delightfully under her pushing her hips up towards Mary involuntarily. “Show me.” Anna’s eyes were heavy with desire.

Mary pressed Anna’s hand down between her legs and slicked her fingers up with her own wetness before moving it towards Anna’s.

“Don’t worry my love, I am ready enough for the both of us…” Mary breathed out hearing Anna’s resolved falter. “Move your hand under mine…I want you to touch yourself as I did…” She commanded.

Mary moved Anna’s hand across her clit and pressed Anna’s fingers inside and heard Anna deepen her hand. “That’s right my darling pleasure yourself…I’ll help.” And after Anna started to move her hand faster across her center and inside Mary moved to her side and quickly pulled her hand up to her mouth with a moan of disapproval from Anna. She placed her slick fingers in her mouth. “Now touch yourself again.”

Anna resumed palming herself and felt Mary’s hand cover hers pressing her fingers inside her and watched. Anna’s breathing and sounds leaving her mouth made Mary gather them in her own mouth.

“Yes darling, make that sound I so love to hear….”

Anna reached her other arm up over her head and pressed it against the headboard groaning as Mary kept pushing Anna’s hand hard over her clit. “You haven’t made the sound I love the most…” She kissed her ear and gave an encouraging moan into it when Anna let out her whiny high pitched cry. “Mmmm yes that one…”

Anna opened her eyes, still working her hand over her own core. “Oh that’s the one you like is it?”

Mary slid her tongue along her neck. “Yes….make it for me again…”

Anna did without having to try. Her sounds at the octave that sent Mary into dizziness.

“Anna keep making that sound…” Mary said encouraging Anna’s hand movement as she kissed her neck and down to her breast until she pushed Anna’s hand deep inside and covered it with hers moving it faster.

“Mary…Oh…I’m…” Anna panted.

“Tell me more…” Mary said, watching her. Anna’s eyes were completely shut and her mouth was open.

“I’m close…” is all Anna could say.

“Will you always think of me when you come undone…” Mary’s sultry velvet voice was in Anna’s ears.

Anna moved her hand fervently. “I will always think of you…”

“Think of me when you what..” Mary asked again, biting Anna’s earlobe.

“When I come Mary…I’ll always think of you when I come…” and at that she let out one of Mary’s favorite sounds and their hands were suddenly so wet Mary was shocked.

Mary moved her hand off Anna’s and she pulled her own hand off of herself and reached for Mary’s mouth.

They kissed sloppily.

“Oh…I rather enjoyed that…” Anna said finally after some time.

Mary laughed. “I think I could tell my love.” and they both laughed. Anna trying to steady her breath. “The only word that comes to mind is something so foul I don’t even think I could say it.”

This intrigued Mary. “No you must tell me.”

Anna smiled…” I wanted to say… oh fuck..at how good it felt.”

“Mmmm yes that’s exactly what I thought.”

They held one another for some time. Their thighs were so wet with their actions it made it even more intimate.

“You always have to be the best don’t you?’ Anna finally said.

“What? This caught Mary off guard.

“I thought I did a fine job this evening of domineering you and you just couldn't have that could you.” She nuzzled her face.

Mary scoffed. “Oh well you just gave me such ideas is all.” Her highborn accent coming out.

Sleep was curling around them.

“I’m so happy.” Mary said.

“Mary…” Anna replied and they both slept.

Chapter Text

Cora was readied for bed and laid upright in her and Robert’s bed trying to read when Robert entered. His energy was sinister but wavering.

“I told you to not be here.” Cora said standing up.

“This is my house.”

“That you wouldn’t have without my money. Get. Out.” Cora said with the same anger Mary could harness so easily. “You struck my daughter.”

“She is MY daughter as well!” He raised his voice.

“I think you have forgotten that and if you do not leave I will leave you.” She said.

Robert faltered. Cora being the greatest love of his life.

“Robert. Let’s talk about this tomorrow. However right now I cannot stand the sight of you and I don’t think I will be able to for quite some time ... .and do not…” She approached him “I repeat…ever…lay a hand on one of my daughters ever….ever again.” She opened the bedroom door for him to leave. “No I’ll say goodnight.”
***
Tom was walking Sibyl back to the manor; the crunch of the gravel under the feet felt so loud in the night.

“Your sister is much more daring than I ever thought…surprised she doesn’t have any Irish blood.”

Sibyl looked at him sternly “Oh don’t say that to her she’d simply fold into a paper ball.” They both chuckled.

“So I am under the assumption that we are to delay telling your family? He asked pulling one of her hands up to his mouth to give a delicate kiss.

Sibyl thought on this before speaking. “You know…I don’t think waiting would do anything…I’d rather just…tell Papa and the family now…” She started to truly start laughing into one of her giggle fits.

Tom found this so endearing. “My dear, what has gotten you now?” He laughed with her.

“Oh just…Mary’s run off with an affair with her maid and I’m in love with the chauffeur and oh Tom you don’t know her like I do but Mary was so shocked by us despite her own predicament I could all but stop myself from losing myself.” She laughed harder and it echoed into the night.

“Sibyl you’ll wake up the entire Abbey!” Tom pushed her into the garage next to the motor. “And please do your delight makes me happy.” He kissed her in between her laughter. “Now you must go inside.” He gave her a gentle push.

“Will you always wait for me, Tom? As Anna said she would for Mary?”

Tom’s eyes were so enamored with the vision in front of him. “I don’t understand the type of love your sister has, however I don’t find it anything less than what I feel for you…and yes…darling…I would wait for you…forever.” He kissed her deeply and shook his head towards the house. “It’s cold…go to your warm bed…I love you.”

***
Thomas went down to the courtyard to have his evening smoke however his heart ached at missing Anna’s presence he had become accustomed to and he sighed. I do hope it works for them however I do not think I’ll have Anna back again. At that thought Ms.Hughes opened the back door and he shot up.

She gestured for him to sit back down and joined him. They sat in silence staring up at the sky.

“You know, Thomas…I think I have always known Lady Mary was…like you…if that doesn't sound offensive.” She said politely.

“Not offensive to me…not at all.” He responded by lighting another cigarette with some nervousness.

“It’s just that..well it just makes so much sense…someone of her status who has had so many grand suitors.” she emphasized grand. “Would not want a man.”

Thomas snorted into his smoke and pulled out his flask and took a small sip and placed it back in his pocket.

“How long have you known?”

Thomas didn’t want to give Anna away, however it seemed inevitable. “I think once Anna started…but it just became…more present over the past few weeks.”

Ms.Hughes nodded in agreement. “Poor Mr.Carson.” She scoffed angrily. “I told Ms. Pattmore and she said something along the lines of…well why was that a secret in the first place.”

Thomas and her chuckled. “I think when Lady Mary stormed down here the other evening demanding where Anna was gave it away you think?” Thomas said.

“Oh, yes. The staff hasn’t shut up about it. This wont make the gossip dwindle either. I wonder what Lady Mary’s plan is anyways. She’s such a…devious person I’m sure she does. I will say this for Anna…she did fall for the most frightening person in the house. I can’t see her ever giving in to her fathers ill wishes.”

Thomas snuffed out his smoke and pondered this. “Ah well…I’ve said the same thing to Anna.”

They sat for a few more minutes in silence.

“Anna is such a kind soul. I wonder what she found in Lady Mary to bring her to such devotion. “She’s just such a…well…she’s so…” Ms. Hughes faltered slightly.

“A bitch.” Thomas finished her sentence.

Ms. Hughes swatted him. “Language Mr. Barrow!” while laughing.

“I am not wrong and nor would Anna disagree with me.”

“Oh when she came to Anna this evening…pledging her love that was quite romantic not unlike from a novel. I can’t help but feel she doesn’t deserve someone as gentle as Anna but then again I am a fool.” She stood up and started to make her way back inside. “Now get up on to bed, you still work here and are not running off with someone from the family unless I am mistaken?” She said, cocking an eyebrow.

“Oh no…nobody in the family not ever.”

They left and went into the servants hall.

“Well I had to ask. Doesn’t seem too far-fetched now does it?”

***

Anna woke early as she normally did except this time she didn’t have to sneak off back to her bed. She was nestled into Mary’s arms so comfortable and warm she forgot how she ever pried herself from this grasp to begin with. She tried to not stir too much but she felt Mary breath deeply waking up.

“My Lady, I am sorry.” Ann said using her professional voice addressing her just to tease her.

“Hm. You did wake me up, Anna.” She moved so her back was against Anna’s chest. “And if you ever call me that again…” She wrapped Anna’s arms around her sleepily. “I’ll have have dismissed.” Mary kissed her arm laughing softly into her embrace. “Mmm I like being held like this from you…” She nestled into the pillow and Anna kissed the back of her neck.

“My apologies, My Lady…I’ll hold you like this as often as you desire.”

Mary turned slightly almost cross. “I did just say not to call me that , did I not?”

Anna laughed into her hair. “Of course of course I am sorry…My Lady it will never happen again-”

Mary flipped over and was on top of her. The sunlight was barely present. Dawn was approaching. She wasn’t sure how long they had slept. The events of the previous night were stashed away and they were enjoying this new found freedom. Mary was heavy with tiredness and was washing it over Anna with her face nestling into her shoulders.

“Shall I call you my maid then? Is that how we shall proceed?” She teased.

Anna started to untangle the pins from Mary’s hair and toss them on the floor. “I wouldn’t mind. You can call me whatever you want.” She dug her fingers into Mary's hair until she could pull it down her back. “This is an odd style for you. What is it Gwen did…I do like it…however I think I could do a much better job.” Anna said professionally almost. Disapproving at someone ruining her masterpiece.

Mary was draped across Anna waking up fully now. “Well that’s the thing isn’t it..” She said, yawning. “I only want you to touch my hair…I remember…” She started and lifted her head up so she could see Anna, her eyes crawling their way out of slumber. “There was a time…after you had just started you put my hair up so perfectly my mother commented ... .and I said…the new maid did it…and my mind instantly was filled with your beautiful face and I think that was it for me darling. Not only did you make me laugh, you made me beautiful.”

Anna giggled at that. “Mary. You have always been beautiful. Something so beautiful so many suitors have wanted you as their own…everyone always…well…says how…” She was flustered and pulled one last lost pin from Mary’s hair and tossed it to the side. “Your beauty does not go unnoticed, let's just leave it at that.”

Mary shrugged arrogantly which made Anna laugh. “Oh is that so?” she placed her arms around Mary whose naked body was draped over hers with her arms crossed.

“Anna I am aware of my looks that have drawn suitors from different countries.” Mary drawled annoyed. “But I never felt beautiful until you.” She laid her head on her chest and sighed contentedly.

Anna combed her fingers through Mary’s hair as the light through the curtains started to grow brighter. “And how beautiful do you feel now, My Lady?”

Mary knelt up. “Annoyed. Do not call me that.” she said truthfully.

“Oh I won’t tease you anymore I am sorry my love.” Anna pressed her head back down with a soft kiss to her forehead and they laid in their sleepiness for some time.

“We should go to the sea.” Mary said.

Anna, who had been on the verge of falling asleep again, said, “What?”

Mary rolled off of her and knelt up. The blankets falling off of her showing Anna the canvas that was Mary’s alabaster skin. “We are going to the sea.”

Anna was too distracted and then brought her thoughts back again. “What?

“Anna, listen to me when I’m speaking to you please I do not like repeating myself.” Mary said haughtily which caused Anna to place a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles.

“Oh I am sorry my love I just…I’m so distracted.” She softly traced her hands up and down Mary’s body. “The sea, yes…and when will we do this?” She cocked her head to the side.

Mary was looking off…Anna could tell she was placing the pieces in her mind. “Tomorrow ... .Today…soon…We could take the train today.” She was excited. “Oh I want to sit in the sand with you and we can have a picnic! Oh that reminds me of that time you had to set up the one for Matthew and myself…”

At this Anna started genuinely laughing. “Oh my goodness Mary!” She laughed harder.

“And what is so funny!’ Mary pinched her sides.

“Well now that I am remembering it you were so shocked I was even there and you ignored Matthew for a few moments and then you…well…it looked… “ Anna was finding the right words.

“Well say it then…mock me if you will.” Mary said, laying back down and pulling the covers over them.

“You sort of…just got…excited I was even there and oh my gosh Mary I was so embarrassed and then that evening when I was dressing you. You said you’d rather have been having a lunch with me. I should have known then.”

This made Mary laugh into Anna’s chest. “Anna, I meant it!”

“Oh I am aware now!”

They laughed and started to kiss slowly, humming into each other's mouths.

“I will miss our dining room taunting.” Mary said.

“I won't.”

“Oh and why not you didn’t like our flirting?

“That’s not what I said.” Anna scoffed at her. “Just…being so near you was blinding sometimes and the thoughts I had were unbearable. Especially after we had been intimate every time I saw you I’d just want to-”

“Pull my dress off and place your tongue on part of me?” Mary finished her sentence.

Anna laughed. “Well that! And -”

“Anna every single time you’ve been out of my reach uncouth thoughts have traipsed my mind and I have thought about pushing you flat on your back on the dining table and lifting your uniform up and-”

“Mary!” Anna swatted her playfully.

Mary started sifting her fingers through Anna’s hair. “Oh darling you have no idea.”

“I was thinking that…maybe I shouldn’t have made you laugh that first day and you’d be better off.” Anna in her serious voice.

“Stop.” Mary shushed her with one simple movement of her mouth. “ Oh this is new.” Mary said randomly.

Anna looked over at her. “Kissing me? Yes. Very new.” Anna snuggled into the blankets. “What’s new is not being up and working right now.” Anna sighed into Mary. “What’s new is not walking through the Abbey towards my cold bed missing your arms.” She kissed Mary’s hand.

“What if…what if we could make this work and you’d help me run the estate with Matthew….what would you want? Anna, what do you want?”

The sun was fully up at this point breaking through the curtains shrouding them in the golden glow of morning.

Anna didn’t fully know how to answer that. “I’m not sure. I would love to of course but I suppose I just feel so unqualified for speaking on such an important subject.”

Mary nodded thinking. “ You aren’t by the way.” she said in her high accent. “ If anyone is unqualified it's me.” She looked at Anna with a newfound delight. “Oh my goodness if we could run the estate together with Matthew…what a dream…”

Anna caressed her head. “What a dream indeed however my love that will not happen. I was born so lowborn and have never had any semblance of power.”

Mary gathered her words once again and placed them in the basket of her mind. “Well.. We shall see about that ... .I can be very persuasive and commanding if you haven’t noticed…it’s not like I won't ever have money…” Mary said, lifting her head up to Anna’s face. “I have not forgotten about him by the way…”

Anna knew whom she was speaking of. “Oh Mary please do.”

“No.”

She looked at her with such sternness. “I won't ever…nobody will hurt you again…and you must tell me if I ever have done something to bring about those…memories again by my touch…Anna I-”

Anna kissed her softly. “I will my love.”

They laid against one another. It was closing in on eight in the morning. The time Mary would normally have awoken. The time Anna would have already had her tea and breakfast.

“How often would you think of me?” Mary asked. “I’m indulging here. I want to know how enamored you were with me.” She smiled and Anna could feel it in her skin.

“Are we speaking of prior or after?”

“Hmmm prior? Yes. I’d like to know prior first.” Mary said and snuggled into her warm skin.

“Well..I’d say the first interaction I had with you I instantly found you beautiful-”

“Most do-” Mary said.

“Oh heavens…” Anna swatted her arm playfully. “I instantly found you beautiful…and then after there was this time…oh it was before that Christmas I had told you where your eyes never left me….I was dressing you and after you sort of twirled your gown and said ‘ how do I look’ and i was left renderless…I just simply said you looked beautiful and then I thought about you constantly so much so that Thomas started to catch on.”

Mary giggled. “It was a hideous gown too and you smiled at me.”

“Oh you remember!”

“I remember everything about us.” Mary was tracing her hand along Anna’s collar bone. “Did you have…other thoughts…” Mary teased.

“Oh yes. Dressing you has always been a challenge, My Lady.” Anna added her title just to annoy her which did just that.

“Why must you keep throwing that in my face when I have asked you not to!” Mary said angrily which made Anna smile wider and pull her lover close.

“I just love seeing this look on your face…” She kissed her. “And…I love having this power over you…Mary Crawley…upset over her maid calling not calling her by her plain name.” Anna said kissing her neck.

Mary didn’t find this amusing but did laugh. “I shall have you pay for it you do understand this.” She kissed her mouth wrapping her tongue around Anna’s as much as she possibly could.

Breaking them apart Anna held her back so she could see her face. “So what about you? How often would you think of me then?”

Mary seemed even more annoyed. “Oh my love always.” She said laying on her back looking at the ceiling with one hand still sifting through Anna’s hair. “Gods you bothered me so much. The moment I saw you. Anytime I saw you. I felt like nothing else in the room mattered whatsoever. Especially prior to us…being this…Oh my gods Anna…There was a moment…You had me down to my shift and were dressing me for dinner and you pulled the dress so close to my body to flatten the creases and when you…Oh I’m not sure this is…” Mary laughed into her hand. “Well you smoothed the dress in the front of me and I became so aroused that I spent the rest of the evening trying to leave dinner because I was so…inappropriately wet.” She stretched her long arms up and let out a soft yawn. “I should have known then.”

“What!?” Anna said, also laying on her back stretching. “ What did I do to make you in such a state? She asked.

“Oh your job.” Mary said looking over at her and they both laughed.

They laid on their back staring at the ceiling in the familiar comfortable silence waiting for the other to say what needed to be said.

“My love, we should dress.” Anna whispered.

“I know,” Mary said in an equally small voice. “I just have so enjoyed this.”

Anna got up from her side of the bed and walked over to Mary and pulled her up as well. “And it won’t be the last now will it….now I thought you were taking me to the sea”

Mary’s face instantly lit up.

Chapter Text

The Dowager summoned her chauffeur and left her house with poise and determination. Her intentions were to see her granddaughter and her maid…or rather her lover. Which didn’t startle her in the slightest. She had known this about Mary since she was a young girl. She was only just waiting until she came out about it, but she did intend to do what she could for her.

Her driver brought her to the Grantham Arms and she exited the motor and entered the establishment to the shock of the desk agent.

“My Lady.” He said.

“Boy, what room is my granddaughter in?” She asked simply but politely.

“My Lady I am not supposed to divulge such-”

“My dear lad….”

“Room 4. Upstairs and to the right. Would you like help?’

“No, I can manage fine on my own.”

She made her way up the steps slowly and knocked loudly at the door of the room.

She heard startled talk.

“Mary.” She said, “Mary open the door.”

After a few moments Mary went and unlocked the door and opened it.

“Grandmother?”

The countess went into the room noting that they were both dressed and looking flustered.

Anna stood with her head knelt and hands clasped in the front like she would have if they were back at the Abbey.

“Anna, there's no need for that. May I have a seat? You've made me climb so many stairs.” The Dowager sat before hearing an answer and sat at the chair next to the table near the mess of a bed. “I see you’ve used your evening productively.”

Mary’s face went all shades of red as did Anna’s.

“Grandmama we just slept…after such a harrowing evening.” Mary said, finally clenching her fists in the way she did when she was thinking.

“No need to justify it my dear…I have said it before…you’re not the first to fall for a beautiful blonde.” She looked at Anna. “She is quite pretty is she not? I have said it before.” She looked at Mary who was so flustered.

“I…well…yes she is I suppose?” Mary replied, gaining a response from Anna finally.

“I thought you said I was beautiful and smelled of the gardens, Mary?” Anna said daring to play coy with Mary in such a moment as this who turned to her with one of her harsh looks that Anna loved and she shrugged. “Don’t disrespect your grandmother.”

Mary smiled and turned to face her grandmother again. “Yes. Yes she is…I’m not sure what our plan is but for now we-”

“I don’t need to hear any of that, Mary.” She cut her off. “You and Anna will live at the Abbey. Anna will be your ladies maid. That’s the only way it can work my dear. Do you agree with this Anna?” The Dowager addressed Anna.

Anna didn’t even need to think about it. “Yes.”

“Mary?” She asked her.

Mary was stammering. “I want more though…for Anna…and I want-”

“Mary…we must take small steps when we want to cause change my dear.” She said.

Mary started pacing back and forth and Anna approached her, stopping her fervent steps.

“Papa will not agree to Anna being back and nor would he ever want me to be with her.” Mary gestured to Anna. “I wont be kept from her grandmama.” Mary said, starting to raise her tone.

“Do not raise your voice to me, Mary. I am trying to help.” Violet said calmly. “As I have said…small steps.”

Mary took in her words as best as she could.

“You are my granddaughter and I love you.” She said simply. “However, you have decided to take a rather drastic course in life which can only be managed in one way. Anna will be your ladies maid. You can travel together and still see each other daily.”

“Grandmama…”Mary put her hands over her face and sat on the bed. “I want Anna in my arms at night, however can I manage that when she’s up in the servants hall?”

The Dowager considered this. “Well she will not be up there then will she?”

Anna was watching this entire scene play out as if she was on the sidelines of a sports game. Unsure if she should chime in or let Mary and her grandmother speak without her input.

“Anna what do you think?” Violet asked.

As if she summoned being addressed, she wasn’t sure how to respond to someone so high up in the family. “My Lady…I just…” She stuttered once again going into her servant's stance.

“Anna. You must get used to speaking to the family as if you are tied to my dear granddaughter. I don’t believe we will be rid of you ... .I say that oh I say that not to dampen your spirits.” She said.

Anna was consumed with the idea of her having to speak to the rest of the family as if she were Mary’s spouse. The idea was daunting.

“My Lady…I am not a highborn woman…I was born into a poor house and have only found a monocle of normalcy from working at the Abbey. I do not think my opinion is important.” She said awkwardly.

Mary turned to face her with her harsh dark eyes aflame. “Your word is all I care about.” Mary said. “What is it you think?”

“Yes, Anna listen to my granddaughter.” The Dowager said, looking pointedly at her.

“Well…” Anna tried to harness her courage and words. “I don’t see me being in that type of social status without ridicule and well…disgust. I’ve not ever had an interaction with the family that made me feel that way, however, if we were to be openly with them it would not go well for Mary and I only care about her well-being mine doesn’t seem important.” She said looking at Mary. “I love her.”

Mary found her eyes and her heart pounded with adoration.

The Dowager took in Anna’s words and thought before speaking. “Hmmm well I disagree with all of that.”

Mary laughed.

“You’ll find the Crawleys are quite a family of unfortunate lost souls and Mary happened upon someone who loves her and that won't go unnoticed nor will it go unrecognized. You do realize Edith, Sibyl, and Cora all support you? What is it that is so terrifying for you? Being low born…” She scoffed. “You are lowborn and ideally not the best match for someone like Mary however…”

Her words caused Mary to grab Anna protectively before Violet could finish.

“However…status has no control when it comes to the heart.” She smiled softly at them both.

Mary and Anna looked at one another and Mary couldn’t help but get lost in her gaze as she had dont so many times.

The Dowager watched them and then chuckled. “Well. That’s settled then. Where do you plan on going now?” She asked.

Mary breathed in deeply before answering. “Well…I want to take Anna to the sea to be honest we were going to take the train today.”

Violet smiled. “Yes. That is a good idea. When you return, come back to the Abbey.”

Mary was confused. “I don’t think Papa would welcome us with open arms.” her voice was sinister once again.

The Dowager stood up. “If you falling in love with you maid and Sibyl falling in love with the chauffeur doesn't suede him then I’m not sure what will”

Mary was once again shocked. “How do you know that?!”

“My dear I know everything ... .I'll take my leave…enjoy the fresh air…come home when you’re back and not to some…oh drabble that is this.” She gestured to the room. “I’ll take care of your father.”

Anna instinctively opened the door for her.

“You’ll have to someday get used to letting others do that for you my dear.” She smiled at Anna. “Welcome to the family.” She nodded at them both and left.

Mary and Anna stood in stunned silence as she left.

“Do you think she means that, Mary?” Anna said.

“Which part?” Mary was clenching her fists in her nervous way.

“The…welcome to the family part…” Anna sounded so nervous Mary grabbed her into her arms.

“Oh my darling she meant every word….welcome to the Crawley family.” and Mary kissed the top of her head.

****

Robert was sat at the breakfast table when his two daughters entered without a word to him. He felt their anger at him and tried to calm it by offering Sibyl the comic section of the paper he was reading when she grabbed it and crumpled it up into a ball and tossed it on the floor taking a sip of her tea.

“Oh so am I being ostracized from my own family? Over this obscene and disgusting act Mary has decided to stupidly play out?” He looked between both of them. “Well?”

Carson entered and placed a small plate of breakfast infront of Sibyl and Edith and stood back as was his job and place.

“Carson.” He turned around. “Please tell me you do not feel the same as my fool children?” His temper was rising.

Carson looked at him with his placid face and only decided to respond with. “My Lord.” and stood back. Yes. The idea was absurd to him. Yes Mary running off with one of the staff was disgraceful…but his love for the eldest Cralwey sister was weighing on him. He adored Mary and when he continued to think of her…as….one of them…confused him…however…his love for her triumphed over all of it.

“Papa…” Sibyl said softly. “Do not let such hatred fill your heart.” She said simply sipping her tea and eating small bites of her toast.

Robert looked between the two. “Edith, are you not troubled by what your sister is doing?” He questioned her sternly.

Edith, who had never been in support of her sister, suddenly said, “I think you’re being a monster.”

The room was silent.

“And the only thing I am disgusted by is you.” She stood up and threw her napkin on the table and at the same time Sibyl followed suit and they left the table.

***

Mary and Anna boarded a train to take them to the shore.

“You know this is the only time I’ve been in a first class cabin.” Anna said excitedly. This caused Mary to smile almost sadly.

“Well…get used to it. You’ll be doing lots of first class things soon.” Mary sat next to Anna holding her hand and leaned her head onto her shoulder.

Anna watched out the window as the train was leaving the station smiling like an excited child.

“However this is not your first time on a train.” Mary said, pulling her head up teasing Anna.

Anna punched her arm gently laughing. “Don’t be so unkind.” She said which caused Mary to kiss the side of her face in the safety of their train cabin.

Mary was trying to hide her excitement but it was difficult. Her first time away from the Abbey with the love of her life. They would spend time together without the pressure of Anna having to leave a moment's notice and the eyes of her family. She squeezed Anna’s hand and started to laugh covering her gloved hand over her mouth.

“Whatever is so funny then? That I am so astonished I am in a first class cart? Is this teasing for me calling you My Lady so many times.” Anna said, starting to laugh as well.

“No my love…I’m laughing because…I cannot believe I am ….we are…so lucky to…” Mary couldn’t find the words.

Anna gathered what she was trying to say. “Yes. We are lucky right now aren’t we.”

Mary gripped her hand tighter. “I cannot wait for us to walk on the shore…Even if it’s cloudy…even if it’s raining…Oh I hope it’s not raining…” Mary’s look was so adoring that Anna melted.

“My love. I would adore to see your skin kissed by the sky.” Anna wanted to kiss her so badly.

“I want to kiss you so much.” Mary seemed to read her thoughts.

“Well…we best not in this setting…I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Anna said, pressing her dress down in her lap and looking out the window once again.

Mary and her sat in silence for some time. Mary thought why Anna had no regard for her own safety and yet only for her own. Was it devotion or did she not think her life mattered. It bothered Mary deeply. Anna’s upbringing was drastically different from hers. Anna didn’t have a mother like hers for one and Anna didn’t have the safety of wealth as she had.

“Anna.” Mary said.

Anna looked over at her and Mary was suddenly so enamored with her eyes and her face and her being, she blinked and forgot what she was even going to say. The sunlight crossing her face as the train went on made Mary even more in love and she couldn’t explain it. Maybe I’ll write another poem.

“Mary?” Anna said again.

“I just. What was oh heavens I don’t want to sound arrogant.” Mary scoffed at herself.

“For once you say that well I am shocked.” Anna always knew when to compile Mary’s esteem into a box and throw it out to sea.

“Well for one I was going to ask about your education and if you had one like the one I had because I want to know everything there is to know about you.” She said almost annoyed with herself.

Anna smiled. “That’s not arrogant, my love. I had a fine education at a very normal public schoolhouse. I told you I love poetry and reading. What brings this up?” She cocked her head to the side which always made Mary swoon.

“I just had such a privileged upbringing and since I have fallen deeply and madly entirely in love with you…I wanted to ask.” Mary said with a soft smile and kiss to her hand.

Anna kissed her hand as well. “Mary my darling…our class difference is not a problem for me. I am very aware. You can ask as many questions as you want. Whatever you want to know is fine with me.”

Mary nodded and smiled leaning into Anna. “My Darling…I do like that…you rarely say that…”

“You say it to me so often I thought I might reciprocate…now what else do you want to know?”

The train clacked along and Mary had a dozen questions in line in her mind.

“Aside from reading poetry in the garden, what else did you enjoy as a child?”

Anna laughed. “Oh. Well.” and thought about an answer. “I suppose I was always outside so much. When I was a little girl I thought I’d always think about being a poet myself…or a gardener…I wanted to grow flowers…”Anna sighed at the memory. “I wanted to run off to some foreign land and learn more about the plants there.”

Mary hummed. “Do you still want those things my darling?”

Anna looked into her eyes. “Aside from being with you forever? I suppose so. I’d love to write poetry and plant pretty things into the earth. I’m not sure I have much experience at either as I was never given an opportunity to do either but yes.”

Mary considered this for some time imagining Anna gardening and writing poetry in the gardens under some hidden sunlight with the clouds drifting over her.

“Then you will do so. I will make sure of it.” Mary gripped her hand tightly and sighed. “I will make all of your dreams come true before I die.” Mary knelt her head back on the seat. “I only want you to be happy and be happy with me and sleep next to me each night.” She had her eyes shut like she was envisioning the entire scene in her mind.

“Oh, Mary. It’s enough to just find love for me.” Anna said simply and started looking out the window again when Mary grabbed her face so she was looking at her.

“No. It’s not enough for me however. I love you so entirely I want to make this happen for you.”

Anna sighed and they sat looking like forlorn lovers into one another's eyes for a long while.

“What of your sister? You said you only speak to her once in a while. Would she…well would she like me?” Mary asked suddenly fussing with her coat.

“Most likely not. You’re quite cross.”

Mary looked up at her quickly and harshly when Anna started to laugh.

“I am joking my love. I think she’d love you. She’d be very shocked at my decisions however I do believe she’d come around.” Anna said reassuringly, noting that Mary was looking nervous.

Mary’s face was once again concentrated in anger that Anna could see.

“Mary?” Anna said, trying to harness her back.

“I am sorry. I just cannot bear the thought of you being harmed. I keep thinking of your stepfather.” Mary placed a hand over her mouth and quickly regained her posture.

Anna knew that it would come to this. “Mary. It was a long time ago.” Anna rubbed her hand on Mary’s soft velvet coat. “I am safe now aren’t I?”

Mary nodded trying to hold back her rage. “You won’t tell me the name of the man?”

“No.”

Mary nodded, accepting defeat. “Well then…what about some of your favorite things? Tell me.” Mary turned to face her. Eyes glowing with love.

Anna laughed and looked down utterly flushed with Mary’s intrigue about her. “Well.” She thought for some time looking off trying to think of them. “I supposed fields? I know that sounds silly but I love the way fields look…especially in the wind. When the grasses move like the waves. I love the rain. I love the smell of it. I love sleeping in and dreaming in the early hours. I also love dogs.” She finished.

Mary looked as if she was taking an exam. Remembering the information astutely. “Have you been able to spend time with Isis?”

“Oh Isis and I are well acquainted.” Anna said. “She is such a docile sweet creature…she loves the downstairs staff so much she visits us often.”

“What type of dog shall we have then?” Mary asked.

“Us?” Anna asked, her eyebrows creasing.

“Yes my dear us.”

“I’ve always loved terriers. We had one growing up. A large boy he had velvet fur and his ears were so soft. He was black and white like a tuxedo…in fact when I…when I had those interactions with my stepfather he was the only one to step in and help me and then would sleep on my bed.” Anna was lost in her thoughts. “His name was Mister. My sister named him and when I left I never knew what happened to him. To think about it always breaks my heart.”

Mary took this information in cataloging it into her mind. “Then we shall get a terrier who sleeps at the entrance to our bedroom.”

Anna looked at her softly. She knew Mary liked to say things like this outloud to calm her own mind, however Anna knew that those things were never going to happen and humored her.

“Yes, Mary. “

The train trudged along and they sat in their calming silence. Mary’s hand sifted through Anna’s as if it were water.

“What would you truly want from us?”

Anna sat up straight looking Mary in the eyes. “To be with you anyway I can. Mary, I am low born. As low as it can go. You having fallen in love with me is still a mystery.”

Mary put her hands around her face. “It’s not a mystery. You were meant to find me as I were to you. I’d love to give you my name and for you to inherit my title when I die.”

At this Anna got angry. “When you die? Mary, I can't even think of that!” She slapped her hand. “Don’t ever say that to me again!” She meant it.

“I am sorry.” Mary apologized, noting the train was slowing down. “Well…how about we enjoy the sea.”

The train came to a full stop and Anna stood up when Mary grabbed her hand. “My dear, let them open the door for you. Gods you’re so beautiful it makes me mad.” Her eyes had the darkness in them again. The desire and the uncontainable feelings. “They’ll hand us our baggage. Please just enjoy this. You don’t work for me, you only work with me as my partner and my…” Mary couldn’t finish her sentence when the door was opened.

Mary gestured for Anna to exit and she followed.

“Stay here I will secure us transportation and lodging.” Mary left, leaving Anna standing next to the train.

“Ma’am” a man sat their bags next to Anna and she nodded a thank you feeling so uncomfortable at the whole idea of not being on the other side of this. Is this how Tom feels when he drives Lady Sibyl around?

Mary came back to her gesturing for two men to carry their bags to a car that was parked outside the station. “There is a cute little place just for a lady and her maid to stay at.” She said quietly to Anna.

Anna followed her to the motor as the men loaded their bags into the car and one of them held out a hand for her to enter that she grabbed and sat next to Mary.

The driver took them from the station to a small lodging establishment near the shore that overlooked the ocean. He hopped out and picked up their two small bags and led them inside.

“We would like a room with two beds please, this is my maid.” Mary gestured to Anna. Her highborn accent was so attractive and really could harness authority when needed Anna thought.

“Yes Ma’am. May I have a name?

“Lady Mary Crawley” She said, pulling one of her gloves off without a concern.

The Desk clerk wrote down her name into a book. “Mary Crawley. Mary Crawley of Downton Abbey?” He asked with a hint of question in his voice.

Mary looked at him with one of her murderous looks. “Yes. Shall I contact my father?”

The clerk stammered. “No My lady. The Earl’s daughter is always welcomed…The Earl always makes his reservations for the family through us…We were just not aware you were arriving. We have our best room available for you.” He grabbed a key off the hook and handed it to the bellhop. “Bring the Lady to room 10.” He said.

“Thank you.” Mary drawled beckoning Anna as their bags were carried up behind them.

The room was spacious and simple. The window faced the ocean. The two beds were in separate rooms and there was a small sitting area.

“Yes… this will do…thank you…” Mary reached into her bag and handed the bellhop a tip and he nodded and left them alone once again.

Anna was looking around the room and then found herself staring out the window. A perfect view of the sea. Grey and beckoning her…inviting delicate thoughts into her mind the instant she saw it.

“I’ve never felt more poetic than when I see the sea…My Lady.” She turned towards Mary tilting her head to the side.

Mary, once again annoyed, pulled her coat off and quickly approached Anna.

“I told you to not call me that.” And kissed her deeply. “Will you write me poetry whilst here then…my punishment is that you do so.” Mary kissed her again and pulled off Anna’s coat as well.

Anna felt the coat fall to the floor and reached her arms up around Mary’s neck. “If that is what you want my love…my love….” She kissed her again so tenderly it melted Mary into a puddle.

She moved her mouth slow and softly and one of her hands cradled Mary’s face as if it were made of glass. Preciously.

Pulling back Mary knelt her head towards Anna’s. “Well then…” She struggled to find words. “Shall we go?” Mary said, gesturing to the outdoors. “Walk along the shoreline…can I hold your hand?”

“Yes.” she nodded.

Mary changed into a dress that was more comfortable and when Anna went to put on her same coat again Mary pulled up her velvet red coat and placed it around Anna .

“Mary.” She said as Mary was buttoning the front.

“You will stay warm and oh my….red looks so desirable on you darling.” She finished and pulled Anna close to her. “Remind me to buy you something red to wear.” She started placing long kisses against her face and neck.

Anna pushed her off lovingly. “Firstly walk me along the shoreline.”

Mary smiled widely. A smile rarely seen by anyone.

“Yes!” She said and pulled a long black coat over herself from her bag. “Let us go then…you and I…”

Anna looked at her shocked.

“Your favorite poem?” Mary looked nervous.

“Yes…oh yes…” Anna kissed her deeply and then Mary was leading her from the room and down the stairs.

Mary and her walked for some time until they were on the sand and in a secluded area where they couldn’t see anyone else and sat down. Mary was the first to do so and beckoned Anna to follow suit.

Anna plopped down and noted that the ocean only contrasted Mary’s eye to be even more dark. The amber they gained from the sunlight gone. They looked at one another for so long it felt like a sacred ritual and Anna eventually had to look away not being able to bear it anymore.

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” Mary finally asked, leaning back into the sand.

Anna looked back at the beauty that was Mary and then at the ocean. Her emotions were tossing and turning not unlike the surf and she knelt up and took her shoes off and then her socks and placed them in her shoes digging her toes into the sand which enticed Mary to do the same.

Mary’s face lit up at the feeling of the sand between her toes Anna laughed.

“Have you never done so, Mary?” Anna asked.

Mary was pushing her feet into the sand. “No I haven’t…It feels so…so…so fun.” She was twirling her toes around in the sand and giggling. “I was never allowed. When we had outings to the sea as a child I always was on my perfect behaviour.” Mary added frowning at the memory

Anna laughed and knelt her head onto Mary’s shoulder as she knelt her head on Anna’s.

“What was your schooling like then? Since you asked me.” Anna asked.

Mary was still sifting the sand between her toes and thinking. “Well.” She started. “I didn’t have much choice in anything. My schooling was ...learn to read and write and arithmetic and then marry some man who would tell you what to do.” Mary sounded so empty as she talked. “For me I’ve never had a choice…with anything…we did what we were told.”

Anna was also digging her toes into the sand noting Mary’s mood shifting. “Have you ever put your feet into the waters?”

Mary looked at her excitedly. “I haven’t!”

Anna stood up and grabbed Mary with her and led her to the water that was lapping up the shore.

“Oh I am suddenly afraid for some reason.” Mary said, clutching Anna’s hand tightly.

“Not to worry….I have you.” Anna said and she pulled them both into the surf.

Her and Mary stood with their feet in the wet sand as the waves started to hit their ankles and Mary laughed with her genuine smile. “Oh! It’s so cold!” She said, walking further into the small waves caressing the shore. Mary looked off into the distance and then back to Anna with a confused look.

“What?’ Anna said.

“Your eyes aren’t as blue next to the sea.”

Anna didn’t know how to respond. “Is that bad?” Is all she could say.

Mary smiled widely. “They are grey…like the clouds I so love.” Mary knelt down and splashed her.

Anna’s mouth was open with shock. “Oh My Lady!” She splashed her back.

They continued their ridiculous flirtatious actions. Anna cupping water in her hands and pouring it down Mary’s dress and Mary starting to do the same. They were laughing loudly until they were both soaked and their hair was drenched and Anna finally grabbed a handful of sand and pressed it down Mary’s arm.

“Anna!”

Anna looked playfully at her and backed away knowingly.

Mary also grabbed a handful of sand and pressed it down Anna’s arm who gasped and laughed loudly into Mary’s wet hair. She splashed Mary again and started running away from her when Mary caught up quickly and they stumbled in the surf both fully soaked at this point both holding one another upright.

Uncontrollably laughing, the cold waves washed around them and Mary kissed her quickly.

The beach was empty however just to be safe Anna looked around as well before kissing Mary’s cheek. “My love, let's go get washed up.”

Mary pulled Anna out of the surf and they walked back towards their jackets

“I’m not sure I should put this fine coat over my wet dress, Mary.” Anna considered it was more likely worth more than a dozen paychecks.

Mary scoffed and placed Anna’s arms through the sleeves and buttoned the front. “I can buy another one, my love.” She raised an eyebrow. “Besides I’d love a bath with you…”

Anna instantly blushed. “Oh really My Lady?” She teased pinching Mary’s side.

Mary pushed her off laughing.

They walked back to their lodging and the clerk gave them extra towels noting that they were soaked.

Mary opened the door to their room and when they were inside Anna’s mouth was on hers.

They kissed for so long Mary pushed her up against the door, her signature move.

“My darling.” She breathed into her mouth.

They were both wet and cold from their outing and Anna turned Mary around and started to undress Mary.

“My love please I can-”

“Please let me…I love it so.” Anna replied before Mary could finish.

“Well…alright then…but let me do the same for you.”

“Of course, Mary.” Anna said almost cocky like.

Anna unclasped the dress and pulled it off of her placing it delicately across the back of the chair to dry and then when Mary was down to her shift she tugged off the front with and pulled it down so her face was akin to her legs and kissed each thigh softly which made Mary let out a soft sigh.

“My love.” She said pulling Anna up and moving around her to do the same for her and when they were both bare Mary walked to the bathroom and started to fill up the tub water and bubbles.

“Come here.”

Anna was standing naked in the room and walked over to her lover who hugged her so tightly and kissed her neck and face and shoulders. “Join me in a bath my darling.” Mary’s hands falling over Anna’s body desperately.

Mary was the first to step into the tub and then held out a hand for Anna who stepped in as well and when they both sat down the water pushed over the sides and they both laughed when Mary grabbed Anna and pulled her on top of her for a long, slow kiss. The warm waters comforted her cold bones.

“Mmm” Mary said as she slowly turned Anna so she could wash her hair in the soapy waters.

“I feel I should be doing this for you, Mary.” Anna sighed into each of Mary’s touches.

“No, as a matter of fact I have thought about bathing with you on many occasions.” Mary unbraided Anna’s long hair and ran her hands through the long strands. “I’ve thought about doing everything with you my darling.” Mary ended up whispering it as if she couldn’t believe it was even happening.

Anna let her wash her hair in silence. Mary’s long slender fingers carefully washing out the salt water and sand.

“What are you thinking my darling?” Mary asked turning Anna around after she was finished.

Anna grabbed Mary’s shoulders and turned her so she could do the same. Rubbing her fingers into Mary’s scalp and pouring the warm water over her long beautiful hair to rinse out the water and weaving her small hands through it to detangle the mess.

When she finished Mary turned around with an anxious look in her eyes. “You never said what you were thinking…have I done something…”

Anna leaned back opposite of Mary in the bath and ran a foot along Mary’s long legs. “No my darling. I was only thinking…I feel like I am in a dream and fear I’ll be awoken from it to find you gone.”

Mary started caressing Anna’s leg when she suddenly looked confused. “How have I never noticed how strong your legs are? My goodness, Anna.” She grasped Anna’s calf.

This made Anna laugh. “I work. A lot.”

Mary looked offended for a millisecond and then shrugged. “Well you have me there…” She continued to touch her legs and then leaned into her so she was between her legs and kissed her. Anna grabbed onto Mary’s shoulder to strengthen the kiss. “How have I never noticed how strong your hands are as well? My god, Anna, how are you so strong?” Mary genuinely asked, furrowing her eyebrows.

Anna laughed loudly. “Mary my love my darling ... .I work…a lot….for you if you don’t remember. I walk up and down stairs all day and carry heavy things and take care of someone precious to me.” Mary sat up to straddle her lap and leaned her head onto Anna’s shoulder. “Downstairs we call it our serving legs. Whenever we can rest them we do.” She pulled a wet strand of hair off of Mary’s beautiful face. “I am not as strong as you think, however. William and Thomas are the brawn of the downstairs. Daisy might even be stronger than me despite her petite stature. Ms. Hughes? I don’t think she even feels her feet anymore.” Anna started to divulge more than she intended. “That’s not to offend you I am sorry My Lady.” Anna felt her servitude come back.

Mary sat up with a splash. “No please always tell me what you are thinking…I once again am at a loss as to how to make the staff’s lives less tiresome.”

“Mary. We are all happy under the care of his Lordship. Your father and mother make sure we are all paid very well and have helped each of us many times when other families would have not. Your Ladyship paid for Ms.Pattmore to have her eye surgery. That’s not something any other family I know of would have done. They’ve been very good to us.”

Mary was not content with this answer. “I suppose. Maybe I should spend a day doing your job and see how I fair…” Mary was thinking out loud and Anna had to seriously hold back her laughter. “You don’t think I could do it do you?” Mary sounded so upset.

“That’s not what I meant…I just thought of the staff seeing you downstairs…grabbing linens for the beds and caddies for cleaning ... .The thought made me laugh. I apologize my love.” Anna caressed her soft face and kissed her forehead.

Mary laid her head back down on Anna’s shoulder in thought. “Do you think they would become accustomed to you being with me…slowly work you out of service and more into the running of Downton?” Mary was playing with the surface of the water.

Anna considered this for some time, “Well. I don’t think they’d find it fair. But I don’t think they’d have a choice. It’s not them whom you fell in love with is it?’ Anna said, pushing Mary’s face to meet her eyes. “It’s me that you have fallen for is it not?”

Mary’s eyes became glossy at the words she had said. “In more ways that I can ever convey my darling.”

They caressed one another softly with intermittent kisses of adoration.

“We should dry off. I am hungry. Is there a place we could walk to for dinner nearby?” Anna asked, noting her stomach was growling.

Mary shot up out of the tub suddenly and pulled Anna with her. “Oh my goodness there is! Let's get dressed and go have dinner ... .Oh I didn’t even think how exciting it would be to eat a meal with you!” Mary’s excitement made Anna glow.

“Oh, is it so exciting for you?” Anna said, grabbing the towel that Mary handed her.

Mary toweled herself up and wrapped the one Anna was using tightly around her. “You cannot imagine how thrilled I am at this.”

Chapter Text

The Dowager’s car circled around the long driveway to the Abbey. She exited and was greeted at the front door and was greeted by Carson.

“Oh Carson, I am late, have they gone through yet?”

“Yes My Lady.” He said plainly.

“Good. I don’t want to prolong this evening any more than it will be. I have words for my son…oh don’t look so sour…Mary will be back with her choice of spouse and do not spoil this for her she loves you so.” Violet said as if she were talking about the weather.

Carson was shocked, his eyes wide. “My Lady I cannot help but-”

“You must.” She waved him off and made her way to the dining room.

“I am sorry I am late. I was busy speaking with the one you banished.” She looked pointedly at her son and took her seat at the long table as William poured her a glass of wine. “Thank you.” She said and took a small sip. “Robert, you have nothing to shout about? What has you so quiet for once?”

Sibyl, Edith, and Cora all were looking at Lord Grantham.

Robert was gritting his teeth at his mothers language. “Mother. Do not speak to me as if-”

“Oh but I must. You seem to have forgotten yourself.” Violet turned to her granddaughters. “My loves your sister is doing just fine. She will be back. With Anna.” The Dowager looked at her son viciously. “Whether your father decides it is appropriate or not. You see he seems to have forgotten what it’s like to be a human.” She placed her napkin in her lap. “Or polite.”

They started their dinner in silence.

“I don’t see how this could end in any way other than disgrace for us or the family.” Robert said as calmly as he could. Thomas serving their dinner listening intently. “Mary has ruined any chance she has at being anything but a-”

“But what, Robert?” Cora finally chimed in. “But your daughter? Whom when she was born you said you loved more than breathing? Where is that love now? It is not her I am disgusted with, it is you.” Cora took a bite of her dinner.

The family, for once, ate in complete awkward silence.

“Well.” Sibyl said, suddenly breaking all of their thoughts. “I guess this might be a good time to tell you father.” She placed her napkin back in her lap. “That I am too…in love with one of our staff.”

Robert’s mouth hung open. “What?”

“Her and the chauffeur my dear. You don’t notice anything do you.” Violet said annoyed.

Cora and Edith however turned to Sibyl in shock. “Tom?” Edith said, her eyes wide.

Sibyl nodded. “Yes. Tom. I am in love with him.”

Robert stood up and threw his napkin on the table and picked up his wine glass, drained it, and tossed it back on the table. “Be damned all of you.” He rounded the table towards Sibyl when Cora stood up and pushed him back.

“I told you…if you ever laid a hand on one of my babies again I would be gone in the night.” Her eyes murderous.

Carson moved forward with a fear His Lordship would put his hand on the youngest Crawley sister.

Robert looked at all of them. “Edith I suppose you too are having some horrid affair!” He yelled.

Edith pondered this, her wit was a mixture of both her parents, “No. However…I’m not opposed to the idea of a woman's touch as well. Doesn’t seem so wrong to me.” She sat up straight looking her father in the eyes which made Sibyl laugh into her hand.

All of the women in Robert’s life looked at him. “Be damned with you all.” He left the dining room.

Cora noted that Sibyl and Edith had gone into giggle fits and she couldn’t help but laugh with them. “My dears, this is not the time.” She tried to rein them in.

“Edith! You are dancing with the devil whatever would you say that for!” Sibyl said, leaning forward to look at her sister better.

“I was only telling the truth I suppose and…Papa has made me so angry…” Edith smiled looking at her grandmother. “I apologize, Granny.” She said.

Violet looked at them both. “Oh my what a cluster of misfits your father has to manage.”
Cora calmed herself down as well as her daughters. “My dears let’s be somewhat patient with your poor Papa…” She looked at them both sternly.

Sibyl and Edith composed themselves.

“Now. Sibyl. You and… Tom?” Cora asked.

*****

Mary was wrapped in her towel and drying her hair off, still beyond thrilled at the idea of taking Anna to a restaurant.

“Mary my goodness…” Anna tied her own towel around her front and started to help Mary and pulled her garments out and handed them to her and sifted through the bag to see what she had packed. “There’s only two gowns in here suitable for dinner?” Anna looked at her confused.

“One of them is for you my darling.” Mary was pulling on her shift and picked the corset off the chair. “Help me please.”

Anna stepped forward and tied it on her body as she had done a hundred times before. “For me?”

“Yes… the black one is for me…” Mary pointed to the second dress Anna had laid on their bed and when the corset was tied Mary picked up Anna’s and pulled it over her and tied it a well with much more accuracy than Anna had expected.

“You did that quite well, Mary.” Anna said conversationally looking at the back in the mirror.

Mary looked at her with such an annoyed face Anna had to stop herself from laughing as she often did when Mary had that look. “Mary…” Anna grabbed her face lovingly and pulled them together. “I love your mean Mary face so much.”

Mary still had her brows furrowed. “Well…I plan on doing your hair as well so you can judge me on that as well.” Mary sat Anna down in front of the mirror. She pulled a brush from her bag and started in on Anna’s long blonde hair. “Oh I only have so many pins…” She said. “There are more in my bag.”

Anna got up and gathered a handful from Mary’s bag and placed them on the table..

“Sit down.” Mary gestured to the chair again. “I had an idea and I’d like to try it.”

“I’m sure it will be more than adequate my love.” Anna sat still and Mary started to braid small parts of her hair and pin them up and looped some of Anna’s long locks over them with concentration.

“Oh my you have thought about this haven’t you.” Anna said, breaking the silence.

Mary looked at her in the mirror. “Yes. Now stay still my darling.”

She continued her work until Anna’s hair was styled up not unlike it would have been if she were working except some strands of hair were left hanging around her face and Mary tucked them around her ears. “There. What do you think?”

Anna looked at herself and all she could focus on was Mary’s anticipated smile. “I love it.”

Mary clapped. “Okay now the dress!’

“Mary, let me fix your hair first. Hair first then dress…” She said knowing how to dress her better than anyone.

Mary nodded. “Of course yes.” Mary sat down and let Anna styled her hair up much faster and with much more ease as if Anna was painting. “You must let me practice on you sometime and give me advice… you did that so easily.” Mary patted her hair. “It’s even damp and it still looks marvelous.”

Anna chuckled. “My love I have plenty of practice and of course I’d help you learn.”

“Okay! Now.” Mary grabbed the silky dress of the bed. “Let me?” She asked and Anna held her arms up so Mary could place it over her body.

“Is this the dress you bought for me ages ago?” Anna asked, noting how beautiful it was. It was dark blue…almost black with blue stitching and thin straps and low backline. There was a shine of blue in the fabric however and the gloves that accompanied it were a shade of pearl. “Are you sure we should be dressed like this when we go out? I am only your maid.” Anna asked.

Mary fitted the dress over Anna and walked to face her, noting the thin straps holding it on her and the bead work pressing into her delicate skin. Anna’s dark blue eyes matched the fabric perfectly.

“Yes….Oh you look divine…I want to take it right off…” She winked.

“Don’t you dare…”Anna looked at herself in the mirror taking in the fancy cloth touching her skin. “You bought this for me? You gathered the measurements perfectly Mary.” Anna turned around and the back was low with a string of pearl like beads draping over her skin. The dress was tight along her body. “Oh my love this is too much I -”

Mary kissed her shoulders. “I only look forward to taking it off of you later my darling my love.”

Anna turned around and faced Mary. “If you tear my pretty gown my beloved gave me I’ll be most upset. She seems to find me fond and wont like knowing it has been ruined.”

Mary shyly looked at her. “Your beloved am I now? Well then. Put mine on I am also quite famished.”

Anna fitted Mary’s dress much quicker. “I see you packed the one I so love, the necklace with it?” Anna looked at the bag and Mary had already picked up the necklace. “Oh I see.” She placed it around her neck and kissed her hairline.

They both stood in their evening wear. Mary was less intrigued but she noted that Anna was sort of shifting uncomfortably . “What is it my love?” Mary asked, picking up a black coat from her bag and pulling Anna’s arms into it.

“I don’t feel worthy.” Anna said buttoning the red coat Mary insisted she wear.

Mary hated this.

“You are worthy of anything and everything. I will show you. Please let me?” She kissed her quickly and led them out of their room.

“Mary, I almost feel like an imposter.”

“My love. You’ll be wearing much the same when we are together at the Abbey. I feel we’ll dress one another. You can help me be more efficient.” Mary was calculating their future as she always did. “Now let me summon us a motor to the restaurant.” She went into the lobby and Anna hung back watching Mary tell the desk clerk her wishes which were immediately granted. What power this woman held, she thought.

“Anna this way.” Mary summoned her towards the doors.

The clerk opened the door for Mary and Anna and they crawled into the vehicle waiting for them which took them to a well lit establishment crowded with people in the same attire they were wearing.

“Oh it looks so fancy.” Anna said smiling which made Mary smile.

“Only the best for you my darling.”

The car door was opened and a gentleman reached for Anna’s hand and helped her along with Mary.

Mary approached the host. “We don’t have a reservation but my friend and I were hoping to have a table. It’s only the two of us.” Mary’s voice once again highborn.

The host looked at the reservation list. “I’m sorry but we don’t have any openings at the moment.”

“Would you for the Earl of Grantham’s eldest daughter? My name is Mary Crawley.” She said, cocking her head to the side, raising her eyebrows.

At that the man flustered. “My Lady, I apologize, yes…” He snapped his fingers and one of the waiters walked over and he whispered into his ear. “Yes we have a table Lady Mary.”

Anna was consistently astonished at the power Mary held by simply her name, however, she shouldn't be having worked for the Crawley family for so long they were very powerful.

The Matron led them to a very secluded table in the back of the bustling restaurant. “You and…uh..” He was looking at Anna.

“This is a friend of mine from Yorkshire…she’s accompanying me to dinner this evening.” Mary said, taking a seat. “We’ll have menus please sir.”

The poor man only had a look on his face that was akin to fear. “Yes My Lady.” He motioned for her coat and did the same for Anna who handed it over as well, almost feeling uncomfortable in her beautiful gown so openly. Nobody was looking at them however.

Another boy was there and pulled the chair out for Anna and another did the same for Mary who was of course unphased by this.

When they were finally left to themselves with their menus Anna started giggling. “Oh so this is how it is?’ She opened the menu trying to focus.

Mary looked at her coyly. “This is how it will be my love…” She smiled until something dawned on her. “Oh, does this make you uncomfortable?” She set her menu down and went to reach for her hand but stopped herself. “I didn’t even think of that…how inconsiderate of me.” She shook her head.

Anna patted the delicate tablecloth, her fingers close to Mary’s, as if to gesture that she wanted to hold her hand as well. “No. That’s not it. It’s just going to take some getting used to.” She smiled and picked up the menu again noting that Mary hadn’t stopped looking at her. “I want to give you everything you know.” She said nonchalantly.

Anna smiled and decided to steer the conversation as she could tell Mary was getting upset. “So what do you think?” She looked at her. “How pretty do I look?” Anna leaned her head to one side as if she was showing off. “Will I do?”

Mary was stuck without words. “I…” She set her menu down and smiled her genuine Mary smile that only Anna could bring out of her. “Oh Anna you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on…” She wanted to say more, but the server was there pouring them their wine.

“My Lady?” He stood at attention waiting for her order.

“We’ll start with the caviar please.” Mary said. “Then we’ll both have the hen please….and also two glasses of Champagne.” Mary ordered for them which Anna was thankful for as she wouldn’t know what to order otherwise.

“I hope you don’t mind me ordering for us.” Mary added, looking embarrassed.

Anna shook her head. “No I am grateful for it thank you…My Lady…” She winked at her.

“My god you will haunt me with that for the rest of our days won’t you?’ Mary picked up her glass of wine and took a sip and Anna followed suit.

Anna was so jittery with nerves and excitement at all the new experiences she looked around the restaurant. Every single person at the tables were dressed like there were. She did note that her and Mary were not the only two women at a single table. She was glad Mary dressed her in this gown so she wasn’t so out of place looking just like her maid which was just what she-

“You’ve gone someplace else. Where did you go?” Mary said, bringing her attention back to her. Her large brown eyes full of concern.

Anna looked back at her smiling. “Nowhere…just that I was thinking how glad I am you brought me a suitable dress.” She picked up her glass of wine. “Oh and that I am not serving you once again…I don’t have to whisper into your ear. I can plainly tell you I love you.” She said, sipping her drink.

Mary smiled into her lap. “I really enjoyed those moments as you know.”

Anna crossed her legs and placed the napkin in her lap as the server brought them a plate of caviar and bread.

Mary reached forward and spread the caviar over a small piece of toast and took a bite noting that Anna had not done so. “Have you never had it before?”

Anna gave her stern knowing look.

“How stupid of me.” Mary fixed a piece for her and handed it to her.

“First time for everything I supposed.” Anna said and took a bite.

Mary watched her waiting for her reaction.

“Well…It’s salty…” Anna said, taking another bite. “Is this what you like to eat?” She said, scooping another pile of the roe onto her bread. “Wouldn’t there be something much more enjoyable. Cheese and crackers or something.”

Mary started laughing so much she couldn’t contain it and it caused Anna to laugh as well. “Well! Am I wrong? I feel there is much better appetizers….Ms.Pattmore makes this wonderfully delicious cheese appetizer sometimes for our dinners and whenever she does we would all call her Her Majesty.” Anna laughed at the memory telling Mary. “Not that this isn’t good, Mary.”

Mary was watching with her with nothing but pure adoration. “I’d love to have that. Do you think she would make it for the family sometime?”

Anna took another bite. “I think if you asked her she wouldn’t have a choice.” Anna said. “Mmm this is quite good.” She gathered more on her toast while Mary just watched her.

Anna was eating and noticed Mary wasn’t. “Do you not want any?” She dabbed her mouth with the napkin in her lap.

Mary smiled into her lap. “Eat as much as you want my love.” She said simply.

Anna grinned, “You don’t want the last bite?” She offered it to Mary who shook her head softly.

“No. It’s for you.” She said in an almost sad tone.

Anna had the last of the caviar and hummed at the taste. “Mmm it is good! I think it’s acquired. I just had to get used to it.” She laughed at the entire experience.

All Mary could think at watching her was that she wanted to give her the most of everything she had ever experienced. Anna would have what she had. Anna would run the estate with her. Her father would accept them. Anna would wear fancy dresses down to dinner and she would dance with her in the hall. Anna would garden and write poetry after. Her hands dirty with the earth and then she would read them to her when they were falling asleep. She would have her in her arms at night. She would kiss her whenever she wanted. She would give Anna her last name and she would find some ring to give her, promising her the world.

“Mary?” Anna said. “I fear I’ve lost you ... .I'm sorry I’m being so silly.” Anna laughed and thanked the server for taking away their appetizer tray. “I’m just a bit over excited for things you find so normal. I apologize.” Anna looked at the server who placed their dinner in front of them and thanked him.

Mary was having a hard time finding her words.

“Yes no…uhm…you aren’t being silly…I just got lost…imaging us is all.” Mary picked up her cutlery. “I do that often if you must know.” She took a bite of her food.

Anna did the same and they ate in their comfortable silence. Mary noted Anna looking around at everyone.

“I’d much like to wear this dress again…it’s so pretty.” She said shyly, cutting into her food. “I sound so silly, oh I am so giddy.” She giggled looking at Mary smiling which melted Mary.

“You’ll have many more dresses to wear that I will place over your body my darling my love.” Mary said once again looking at her as if the room were silent. “You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

Anna made to find her eyes and Mary was avoiding her gaze. “Mary?”

Mary looked up with glossy eyes. “Yes my love?”

Anna understood and just simply said. “Thank you for this.”

Mary nodded and they ate dinner with more casual conversation.

They finished and Anna looked towards Mary for direction, her hands clasped in her lap.

“Shall we head back?”

“I’d like that.” Anna said with a smirk. “I have ideas of how to thank you for treating me so well.”

Mary motioned for the waiter flustered. “I’m not treating you well…I’m treating you like my… my..” And before she could finish her sentence she paid the bill and their coats were being brought over and Mary easily allowed hers to be pulled on when Anna simply just grabbed hers and put it on herself. “Let’s go.” She held her arm out for Anna to follow in front of her towards the doors.

“Should I call us a motor?” Anna said looking around when Mary placed a hand on her shoulder delicately.

“No.” And the same taxi that brought them was parked in front of them.

“My Lady.” The driver said holding his hand out for her to enter the vehicle and then gestured for Anna to sit in the front.

“She can sit back with me thank you.”

He nodded without question and held open the door for Anna however he didn’t offer her a hand and Mary knelt forward and offered her own.

She sat as close as she could to her and discreetly placed a hand on Anna’s thigh who breathed in at the touch in such a public setting.

“Mary…maybe you shouldn't…” She whispered and when she looked over to Mary she saw the now familiar hungry dark eyes. The ones that didn’t care who saw. Her status as armor.

The car turned and started to bring them back to their hotel.

Mary couldn’t keep her eyes off of Anna.

Anna looked over at her. Her hair falling out of place.

“I should learn to pin up your hair better.” Mary fondled one long blonde lock quickly and dropped her hand and then she whispered every so softly. “I love you…” Her eyes looked towards their hand that was covering Anna’s.

Anna didn’t know what to say. She felt Mary was having some other emotions she couldn’t quite address at the moment but she couldn’t help but look concerned at her lover.

“Mary?”

Mary looked down and waited for the driver to pull up to the hotel and help them both out of the motor.

Mary handed the driver a tip and then once again ushered Anna infront of her and they walked upstairs and she opened their room door for Anna who looked back at her confused.

Once the door was shut Anna went over and locked it and approached Mary who was pulling her coat off and placed it on the back of a chair and then helped Anna do the same.

“May I undress you?’ Mary whispered almost sadly which broke Anna’s heart.

“Of course…Mary…have I done…” Anna started to speak when Mary hushed her and pulled the gown off of her and laid it delicately on the table. “Would you help me too?” She said, starting to cry.

“Mary my dear, what has you?” Anna became worried.

“Please, my love.” Mary turned around so Anna could undress her.

She did with ease and pulled the dress off and the corset and paced it on top of hers worried.

“Mary, if I have done something please just tell me?”

Mary turned Anna around and unlaced her corset and sat it on top of hers and pulled her shift up so Anna was bare and quickly put the blue nightgown back on her and Anna did the same for her.

Anna was hesitant when Mary crawled into bed and beckoned Anna.

“My love please.” Mary said.

Anna joined her and Mary pulled her close to her and started kissing her. “I want to give you the world.” is all she said pulling the pins out of Anna’s hair so it fell over her back. “I’m just…you just deserve all of it.” Mary threaded her fingers through Anna’s hair as she started to cry. “My love….don’t leave me please.” Mary said pleading.

Anna sat up, her hair draping around her shoulders and placed a hand across Mary’s face wiping away the tears. “My darling…Mary…where is this coming from? I enjoyed our evening…Did I do something you must tell me?” She pulled one of Mary’s hands up and kissed it while slowly taking Mary’s hair down as well once again tossing the pins on the floor.

Mary shook her head no. “I enjoyed our evening… too much my darling.” Mary pulled Anna in and kissed her deeply. “I promise…I promise to always be yours.” Mary said, looking at her with her eyes desperate. “I would rather die than be without you.” She started crying in earnest and Anna pressed their faces together.

“My love…”She whispered. “My love…” She kissed her face and they settled into the bed and Mary gripped onto her tightly.

“I am overwhelmed, oh I am so sorry, Anna.” Mary said finally regaining control. “You render me useless as you always have.” Anna was pressing soft kisses across her skin trying not to cry which was a useless endeavor “Oh my love do not cry because of me.” Mary cried harder and kissed her salty face.

“Mary, I will not ever leave you. I couldn’t. My entire being is yours.” Anna whispered into Mary’s mouth.

“And I will take your soul into my heart and keep it safe my love. You have mine as well.” Mary and Anna let their tears stream their faces awash with emotion they were not expecting. “Today was the best day of my life, Anna.”

Anna laughed. “With me? Are you sure?” She kissed Mary’s neck.

“You must enjoy teasing me.” Mary started to pull herself out of her daze. “Yes. This day has been my best day I’ve ever had.”

Anna hummed in satisfaction and wiped some of her own tears away. “Well then. May I ask you to hold me?”

Mary’s eyes opened and she instantly reached over to Anna and pulled her into her arms as tightly as she could. “Any moment you want to be in my arms all you have to do is ask my love.” Mary whispered into Anna’s ear. “I love you more than anything.”

Anna nestled her face into the crook of Mary’s neck. “Any moment I want?”

Mary smiled, Anna could feel it. “Any moment. Any time. My arms were made solely to hold you close to me.” Mary rubbed one hand up and down Anna’s side. “My darling Anna….”

****

Robert sat in the library staring out the window. Having watched his daughter and her…walk hand in hand and now both his other daughters dissuading his trust. Sibyl and the chauffeur? The Irish chauffeur? Edith not opposed to being with a woman either? He was muttering to himself almost. Is Mary being with her maid so disgusting? Should he allow her to at least live out this fantasy? Is this something that will grow into more? What if she doesn’t leave it ?

Cora entered and sat pointedly across from her husband.

“I assume you have come here to tell me off…or that you are also in love with a servant.” He stood up and went towards the drink cart and poured himself a brandy .”As all the women in my life have lost their heads.” He took a large sip still not making eye contact with his wife.

Cora did not move. “She loves her, Robert.”

He turned quickly. “She doesn’t know what love is…everyone falls for their friends at some point… what does she think will-”

“She loves her and if you want her in your life you will accept Anna into our family or else you’ll have to explain why I am gone as well. I will not have my baby banished from her home.”

Cora stood up and walked towards her husband. “Robert.” She placed her hand on his arm. “Is it so surprising to you?”

Robert thought about it. No it wasn’t. Mary who never accepted any of her handsome suitors.

“No.” He said looking down. “No it isn’t….Cora…” He looked at her with teary eyes. “I am sorry.”

Cora pulled him into her arms. “This is new territory my darling.” She leaned back holding him at arm's length. “But if you ever touch one of my girls again I will hurt you myself.”

Robert laughed. “Oh I cannot believe I did that ... .Mary will never forgive me…she must come back. I miss her.” He started crying in earnest and put a hand over his mouth trying to stifle his sobs. “My first born girl…” He cried and leaned into Cora’s arms and she held him patting his back.

“I think the one you need to ask forgiveness from is Anna.” Cora said sternly. “She loves our daughter and we will support them the best we can…and Matthew also supports her.”

Robert scoffed. “Oh I’m not sure I’ll ever warm up to the idea of them, but I will try ... .Cora it is illegal.”

Cora kissed him quickly. “Anna is just her maid. Mary wouldn’t be looked at differently for traveling with her or being seen with her….I find it quite romantic myself ... .I thought maybe years ago when looking at them both together…Oh Robert you are so blind sometimes ... .even your mother saw it.” Cora poured herself a glass of brandy. “When they return we will welcome them with open arms.”

Robert stammered. “Who says she will even return?” He cried. “Not after what I have done.” He walked towards the window.

Cora pondered this for a minute. “She will. Mary loves you. She just wants to be happy and don’t we want our children to be happy, Robert?”

He nodded, leaning a hand on the window frame. “Yes. Yes.” He said. “I’d like to…maybe I’ll write something for her…”

Cora nodded. “Oh that’s a wonderful idea.”

Robert walked towards his desk and then stopped. “Oh and Sibyl and the Irishman?”

Cora laughed. “Another obstacle for us to leap over but our daughters are quite daring are they not?’ She laughed.

Robert joined her laughing. “Gods yes they certainly are.”

****

Mary and Anna slept for some time until Anna stirred. The moonlight was cascading into their room. She got up as quietly as she could and looked out the window and cracked it slightly so she could hear the waves. She could hardly believe she was even there when she heard Mary toss over.

“Where have you gone?’ Mary blinked and sat up seeing Anna standing draped in the moonlight in the room.

Anna approached her. “I am sorry.” She sat on the edge of the bed “I just longed to hear the waves is all.”

Mary slid her hand down Anna’s arm humming. “Mmmm it is nice isn’t it…however it’s not as nice having you in my arms….come back.” She pulled up the covers and pulled Anna down and held her tightly. “Much better…we can listen to the waves together.”

Anna snuggled into Mary’s body and smiled into her skin. “Do you remember…” she started to say when Mary interrupted her.

“I’m sure I do- I remember every moment between us.” She kissed her hair with a deep inhale. “Hmm.”

Anna reached her hand up and grabbed Mary’s face to her own and they kissed slowly and longingly with the same forbidden emotion Mary had when they fell asleep to begin with.

“However, tell me anyway.” Mary added curling her hands around Anna’s small frame.

Anna laughed and tucked into her arms before responding. “The first time we kissed-”

“Against the oak. When I came back from London. When I purchased your dress and could not stop thinking of you?” Mary answered.

Anna laughed. “My love I cannot fathom how you remember these things!” Anna started kissing her hand.

“What of it?” Mary’s eyes were shut and she was moving her hands up and down Anna’s body. “What about our first kiss? Was it when I pushed you against the tree? Was it me asking if I could kiss you in the first place? Was it how daring I was?” She layered kisses along her hair.
Anna was losing herself in Mary. “I was going to say…oh…” She leaned back and turned her head so they kissed. “I was going to ask what you were thinking…when you asked if you could kiss me….what if I had said no?”

Mary stopped her kisses and knelt into Anna’s hair. “I was thinking that I wanted you to know I wanted to kiss you…and you never even said yes by the way…your eyes told me all I needed to know.” She placed a hand up Anna’s nightgown. “I guess I should still ask…Can I kiss you?” Mary asked, losing her sleepiness.

Anna moved her hands over Mary’s body possessively. “Yes I think you should ask.” She leant forward and kissed her shoulder.

Mary hummed and nodded. “Anna Smith, may I kiss you.” She held her face in her hand. “I so very much want to kiss you.”

Anna leaned in and they kissed. Slowly. Mary’s mouth moving like she was writing a symphony across Anna’s lips. Their hands grasping to each other like they would somehow disappear.

“Anna…” Mary whispered.

This fueled Anna more and she quickly pulled her nightgown off and sat over Mary. “Mary?’ She said, cocking her head to the side. “What is it you need…My Lady?”

This motivated Mary who sat up and pulled her close and grabbed her hair harshly. “ I thought I said to not call me that anymore?’ She bit her neck gently as Anna helped her take her nightgown off as well and continued kissing her.

“What must I do for you to not call me that…” Mary sighed in between Anna’s kisses.

“I quite like it now, Mary… calling you My Lady…” Anna said, muffled into her neck. “I love you so much, oh my god…” Anna started to become more intense and shuffled down under the blankets and grabbed one of Mary’s breasts. “Tell me what you want my love please…”

Mary was breathing heavily, heaving her hips up towards Anna’s at a loss for words.

“Call me My Lady one more time and I’ll…” She was gasping between Anna’s kisses across her body.

Anna pressed her knee into Mary’s core and grabbed her hip up towards it. “My Lady…what is it you want…” Anna was breathing so heavily she thought she might pass out.

Mary tossed Anna off and was on top of her. “I want you and I want you always.” She threw off the covers and lowered her mouth down Anna’s body. “I want you always my love.” She kissed her thighs and then finally her core and Anna let out a sharp cry.

“My love, I want this.” Mary said.

Mary placed her mouth over her without any sort of rush. Her tongue moving up and down and her lips holding Anna’s clit in her mouth and Mary grabbed her thighs. She felt the flood of Anna’s desire run around her face and she hummed into her. Moving her tongue across her she listened for the sounds she was making.

“Oh Mary…” Anna said as she placed both of her hands over her head and pressed against the headboard.

Mary stopped her motions. “Make the sound I love so much.”

She looped her tongue around her center in such a way Anna cried out louder than she had ever heard which made Mary’s abdomen throb.

“That’s not the one my love.” Mary said before continuing her work.

She caressed her tongue slowly and then fast across Anna’s center when she felt she was almost hungry for it and started to move faster and faster placing both of her hands on her thighs and pushing her up harder and faster to her mouth. Anna was now letting out the sounds Mary so desired at such erratic intervals it furthered her motions, her face wet with her lover.

Anna let out Mary’s favorite sound however this time it was a wailing high pitched groan, her hips leaving the bed up into Mary’s mouth filling it with warmth.

Mary let her down slowly and wiped her mouth across Anna’s thighs and crawled back up to her and pulled her into her arms.

Anna was breathing heavily and shaking.

“My love…” Mary said tracing her arms as her own arousal was so heightened she wanted to continue to pleasure her lover.

Anna finally opened her eyes and looked at Mary. “Fuck.” She said.

This made Mary laugh as Anna was still trying to regain her composure.

“Anna Smith I never knew you had that type of language in you.” Mary said, nipping at her skin as Anna was basking in her bliss.

Anna laughed. “Well…I never did until you…” She caught her breath and looked at Mary pressing her leg between hers noting that Mary was also obscenely wet. “That was divine.” She said kissing her and licking Mary’s lips.

Mary was squirming so much with her desire Anna decided to take advantage of it and knelt up over her.

“What is it you want my love?’ She said softly.

Mary was almost whining. “Anna…” She was thrusting her hips up which made Anna ready again.

She sat up and pulled Mary’s leg over hers so their cores were pressed together and Mary gasped.

“What is it you want, Mary Crawley?” Anna said possessively grabbing onto her hair and leaning her head back.

Mary was panting as Anna moved her hips so they were sliding against one another, their legs wrapped around each other.

Mary was mumbling and trying to find words but all she found were sounds. Anna started moving faster leaning back into Mary’s center and they were so drenched the sound was intoxicating.

“I want you.” Mary regained herself and pulled Anna forward and pushed them together so harshly they grunted. “I want you forever.” She said moving her hips faster. “Oh I am…Oh Anna….tell me you’ll never leave me…” She begged.

Anna was starting to feel herself reach another climax. “I won’t leave you ever….Mary I’ll never leave you.” She was gasping.

“Anna.” Mary cried out as Anna and her came together loudly.

Mary held tightly to Anna’s shoulder and was panting into her mouth as Anna was doing the same.

Anna pulled herself from Mary and laid down pushing Mary’s head onto her chest kissing the top of her head. “My love…” She smoothed her sweaty hair. “My Mary…”

Mary wasn’t able to speak, she just did as Anna motioned her to do.

After some time of holding one another Mary finally spoke. “That was different.” Their legs tangled slightly still.

Anna breathed in and pushed Mary’s face up to hers and kissed her.

“I feel as if I’ve run a marathon.”

Mary laughed and Anna joined her.

“A good one…” Mary kissed her. “I never thought anything that felt so good existed.” She trailed her lips over Anna’s. “I will never want anything else.” She kissed her and went back to laying across Anna’s chest.

“No…I don’t think anything else does exist that is as good as this my darling.” Anna held her tightly.

“I want this forever…don’t leave me…” Mary was falling asleep as was Anna.

“I won’t ever leave you…”

They fell asleep again in the silence of the morning.

Chapter Text

The family gathered as they normally did for their before dinner drinks in almost silence. Robert pacing slightly glancing at his girls who were all giving him various looks of disdain.

“I…” He started harnessing the attention of them all.

“If this is not an apology then I am afraid I am not interested in it.” The dowager said before he could even finish his sentence.

“Mother please.” He said with the same annoyed voice that Mary had inherited.

Cora, Edith, Sibyl, and Violet all were looking at him. Their faces stern.

“I am…I am sorry…I just…” He covered his mouth and looked on the verge of tears again as he had with Cora earlier. “I behaved badly and I-”

“Badly is not how I would put it.” The Dowager said again, interrupting him as he once again looked annoyed. “Oh I am sorry for interrupting your well thought out apology. Continue.” She gestured.

“I am sorry! I’m not sure what came over me, but you have to understand how absurd this is. Mary is off with her maid!” His voice started to raise again.

“Anna. Her name is Anna.” Sibyl said.
“Yes. Mary is off with…her…with Anna…and I feel as if I’ve lost control of my life and-”

“You’ve lost control of your life? How is this about you, Robert? You struck our first born daughter and banished her and her partner from our home. Make this a better apology or I shall strike you.” Cora said.

He stammered in frustration. “How else should I apologize, Cora?”

“Mary and Anna will return here. They will live their lives as they want. It’s already decided.” The dowager said casually. “Matthew has given interest in Mary helping him run the estate and having Anna help her where she can ... .she's not an idiot, Robert. Anna is a smart girl. As is your daughter, do not discredit women.”

Robert was gathering this information when they all suddenly noticed Carson and Thomas at the door waiting to usher them into the dining room.

“My Lord.” Carson said in his deep tone.

“Carson…what would you have Anna…do when she returns working under you?” Robert asked.

Carson thought for less than five seconds before responding. “Her job, My Lord.”

This made the girls all smile.

“Papa, how could you detest someone like Anna?” Edith said plainly.

He looked towards his middle child. “I don’t detest her Edith I am just-”

“That’s enough.” The dowager stood up. “I am famished, let's go through.”
*****
Anna and Mary woke up late in the morning sleeping blissfully in one another's arms when Anna finally sat up yawning and stretching. She never to her recent memory had ever slept in as late as they had. She glanced over at her lover who was stirring as well as smiling.

“How late is it?” Mary asked, instantly reaching for Anna.

“Close to ten my love.” Anna knelt back down and kissed Mary’s hair.

“Mmmm I’ve never had such a restful night’s sleep as I do when I am with you my darling.” She pulled Anna back down.

Anna giggled. “Mary, we should rise.” She said, losing her gumption.

“Who is stopping us?” Mary kissed her neck. “Mmm your skin smells so nice.” She inhaled deeply.

Anna sighed. “No one I suppose.” leaning into her. “What is it we shall do today, Mary?”

Mary stiled her work on Anna’s neck and leaned over her. “What would you like to do my love?” She placed her hand across Anna’s cheek.

“Hmmm.” Anna thought lying on her back away from Mary. “What about that picnic you promised me?”

Mary, who wasn’t having any space between them for too long inched over and hovered her face over Anna’s. “Wonderful idea my darling.” and kissed her. “Oh I suppose you wanted some space from me and I denied you that.” She started to pull herself off when Anna grabbed her and pulled her back.

“I never want space from you…now ... .why don’t you go wash up first so we can start our day.” Anna gestured towards the washroom.

Mary begrudgingly got out of bed. “Cannot believe I’m allowing my maid to order me around.” She pulled a robe over her from her bag. “I must discipline her from now on.”

Anna laughed. “This maid of yours sounds awfully bossy ... .I wonder if she learned it from her Lady?”

Mary smiled and went into the bathroom.

Anna got up and put her nightgown back on. She heard Mary running the bath and decided it was a safe enough moment to write her that poem she had been asking for. As soon as she began writing it didn’t take long; she felt as if she had written a dozen poems for Mary in her head already; she just needed to compile them into the perfect one.

Her mind raced back to the complications back at the Abbey. How would that even be resolved? She had some glimmer of hope only because the Dowager had intervened. She was much like Mary and was not someone to be tested. Was she speaking to his Lordship about them? What were the sisters thinking? Was Matthew still supportive? It all seemed so out of her control she suddenly became very anxious and started to have to steady her breathing and opened the window more to get fresh air. She folded the poem she wrote and placed it on the table next to her dress and started pacing her breathing being harder to gain control over. She placed a hand on her chest over her heart and started to genuinely panic. She was aware that her anxiety had started when her and Mary came out, but this felt different. Like Mary would somehow be stolen from her. She knelt over the table that was next to the window and felt the cold air on her face trying to steady her breath when a damp hand was suddenly over her shoulder.

“Anna.” Mary said softly. “Anna my darling.” Mary turned her around. She was wrapped in a towel. Her hair wet in abandon around her shoulders. “My love.” Her eyes were wide with an almost fear.

Anna looked at her shaking and pulled Mary into her arms tightly. “Oh I am having…I think I’m having an…”

Mary understood.

“Sit over here my love.” Mary motioned her to sit on the edge of the bed and she knelt down rubbing Anna’s legs putting one of her hands on her face. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Mary said, kissing her hand over and over. “I’m right here.” She then placed Anna’s hand on her own chest. “Breath with me. It’s okay…just breathe with me.”

Anna started to control her breath with Mary’s and looked at her with glossy eyes. “Oh I am sorry, Mary.” She finally said in between her gasps. “I just..”

“Shh…It’s okay…” Mary stood up and sat next to her on the bed and pulled her into her arms. “I understand…I’m right here my darling.” Mary started rocking them slightly.

They stayed like that until Anna and completely calmed herself.

“Come with me…I have the bath ready for you…” Mary stood up.

Anna wiped her eyes and looked at Mary with almost bewilderment that someone would care so much for her. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Mary smiled. “I think you sometimes forget that you’re my…that I love you.” She said rearranging her words looking flustered. “Now go and wash up. It’s almost lunch and we can have that picnic on the shore as you have requested.” Mary said. Her tone was almost sad.

Anna nodded and went into the washroom.

Mary watched her until the door was shut and she covered her mouth with her hand to stifle a long cry she had been holding in to save Anna from hearing. She knew very well what had sent her into a panic. It was everything waiting for them back home. She also had been having anxiety over it…however she was not going to let it cause their day to be ruined. She dried herself off completely and grabbed a dress from her luggage and started to fit the corset over her wondering if she could handle it on her own and found it difficult and started giggling to herself. How did Anna do this by herself? At that thought Anna was also wrapped in a towel with her long hair hanging around her shoulders.

Mary was so enamored with seeing her in any state she couldn’t help herself.

“My love, can I kiss you.” She asked.

Anna smiled. “I like it when you ask, however it is not necessary.” Anna reached around her and gave her a small kiss. “Now what is it you’re trying to do? Have you never done this yourself? I suppose a horrid maid has always helped you…” She had a twinkle in her teasing eyes.

Mary gave her a genuine mean Mary face. “Would you show me how you manage it on your own?” She said stepping back from Anna who had already started to help her.

“Well…reach around your back and loop it…tightly…it helps if it’s somewhat laced when you pull it over your head…” Anna watched as Mary reached around and pulled the laces the best she could until she gave up.

“Damn.” She looked at Anna with her brown doe eyes. “Would you help?”

Anna stepped forward and dropped her towel so she was naked and stood behind her to lace up the corset.

“Wait, that's not fair…” Mary turned around and pressed Anna against her caressing her soft skin any way that she could. “Are you teasing me?”

Anna winked and turned her around again. “Shall I put on my uniform for you?”

Mary huffed out a frustrated sigh. “God's Anna.”

“My apologies ... .dropped my towel is all…” She said coyly and started to pull her own clothes over herself and when she grabbed her corset she looked at Mary. “This is how I have always put mine on. Mostly laced up over my head and then.” She reached behind her and tightened the laces with ease and tied it. “Then it’s on.” She flourished her hands.

“Well you made that look so simple…I’m not sure I’ll be able to do so…guess I’ll have to have someone help me…” Mary stepped towards her and started kissing her, pulling their bodies close. “Poor me…some beautiful blonde will have to dress me…” She kissed her again.

Anna hummed into her mouth. “What else should this beautiful blonde do?”

Mary laughed. “Oh I can think of many things.”

They finished getting ready after a lot of interruptions.

“If this is how it will be for us to dress then we would never even make it downstairs before luncheon.” Mary said, grabbing her purse. “Come my love.” She grabbed Anna’s hand and when they left their room she dropped it and proceeded down the stairs to the desk.

Anna once again held back. Reminding herself that she was still acting as Mary’s ladies maid. Which she was.

The desk agent went outside and apparently called for a car for them when Mary gestured to follow her. Her head held high, leading Anna to the motor and motioned for her to enter first before following. Mary told the driver to go to a restaurant and they were off.

Anna looked at her inquisitively. “Mary what?”

“How else are we supposed to have a picnic without a basket of food? Anna please.” Mary’s highborn accent came out and she grabbed her hand.

Anna for some reason always adored her different shades. Her mean Mary face. Her aristocratic voice. Her deep voice. Her whispers. Maybe it was that which made Anna fall in love with her in the first place.

“Yes My Lady.” Anna said with a smirk.

The motor stopped and the driver got out however Mary didn’t move. “He’s gathering our lunch my darling.” Mary said with such a nonchalant voice it made Anna giggle.

Mary turned towards her. “Oh and what are you laughing at now? Something pertaining to me certainly.” Mary pinched her side which made Anna laugh more and swat her hand away.

“Nothing to you, Mary. Just…I adore how you can…order people around and they do what you say it’s like you’re a magician.” Anna grabbed her hand again.

Mary smiled. “I have power and will use it…especially when it comes to you and us. I won’t squander the ability to make anything possible for you.” She kissed Anna’s hand quickly and then the driver was back with a basket and placed it in the seat next to him.

They were stopped at the same part of the beach Anna and Mary had previously visited.

“Thank you driver this will do.” Mary handed the man a tip and exited the vehicle holding Anna’s hand when the driver pulled the basket from the front seat. Mary grabbed it from him and nodded a thanks and he left promptly.

Anna was still shocked at how easy procuring this event was for Mary to do. “I am still…how did you make this happen so quickly?”

Mary scoffed and led them towards the beach towards the part that was somewhat secluded from prying eyes and opened the basked and unveiled a large cloth most likely meant for a table and laid it on the sand with the breeze making it somewhat difficult.

Anna grabbed the other end and helped her lay in on the sand and sat down. Mary followed by putting the basket between them.

“Now. I know you liked the caviar so I have that too….however I also have cheese and crackers..she pulled several plates out that were covered in cloth napkins. “So whichever you desire my darling.” Mary put the plates in front of them.

The shore was grey. The sky was grey. Anna noticed how Mary’s eyes were not amber and were once again dark as she was watching her like she always did.

“Mary I-”

“I promised to give you whatever you desire…and I will do so…now…why don’t we have some lunch.” Mary said unveiling the food that was on the table cloth they were sitting on. The wind blowing quietly around them. “I will give you whatever you desire ... .forever…even if it’s to not be with me, Anna. I love you entirely.” Mary looked up at her with a desperation

Anna shook her head almost in disbelief. “Mary.” She said and when Mary didn’t look at her she said it again. “Mary.” Pushing a finger under her jaw so she was looking at her. “Being without you…will only happen when I am dead.”

This made Mary truly angry. “Do not. Ever. Utter those words to me again. I would… Anna…” She started to cry in earnest. “The idea of you being hurt renders me in….fucking shambles.” Mary cried out as the wind whipped her hair around her face. The loose strands falling on her shoulders.

Anna rubbed her arm. “Oh my such words out of Lady Mary Crawley? I must have truly upset her.” Anna said, trying to suede Mary’s emotions.

Mary started laughing. “Yes. Lady Mary Crawley…madly…desperately…truly in love with Anna Mae Smith…the love of her life…” Mary knelt towards their lunch. “Please let me.” She scooped a spoonful of caviar on a small piece of bread and offered it to Anna.

Anna opened her mouth and ate it. “Mmm” She hummed. “Still not as good as the cheese but good nonetheless.”

Mary laughed at this. “That’s why I had this as well!” She placed a piece of cheese on a cracker and offered it to Anna. “Here, try this.”

Anna accepted it smiling. “Mmm this is good.” She put her hand over her mouth as she chewed. “Still not as good as Ms. Patmore’s, but it is good.” Anna said, smiling trying to pull Mary back from the sadness that seemed to overcome her at these moments.

They ate their lunch looking at the surf and at one another. It felt like one of the hidden moments they’d have in the dining room exchanging their flirtatious banter but this time unspoken.

Anna leaned back and knelt her head up breathing in deeply.

Mary watched her. She was always watching her. Like she was memorizing each moment or else it would be lost. Watching her movements and her expressions so she could see them in her mind forever if Anna left. Her greatest fear.

Anna and her locked eyes and held the gaze until Anna looked away smiling.

“You look at me like this and I don’t even know what to say, Mary.”

“I look at you, how?” Mary sounded anxious.

“Like you’ll never see me again I suppose.”

Mary put her hand over Anna’s. “I am terrified of the idea.” She kissed her quickly and went back to leaning in the sand.

The breeze was quiet. Their silence was soft and comforting as it always was.

“Anna.” Mary said quietly, pulling them both out of their thoughts. “I truly am terrified of never seeing you again”

Mary’s face was in such anguish Anna moved closer. ”Mary my love.” She kissed her and Mary only enhanced the kiss.

“Anna I cannot be without you…I would die…” She started to sound desperate.. “Don’t leave me please don’t leave me please…I know I said I would if that’s what you desired but-”

“Shh….Mary…shh….I won't.” She pressed Mary’s head against her lips. “I have something for you.”

This brought Mary out of her dark thoughts.

“Oh?”

“I wrote you a poem.” She said, pulling the piece of parchment from her dress. Mary was no longer on the other side of the blanket however. She was as close as she could be to Anna leaning her head on her shoulder.

“You wrote me a poem.” She said regathering her posture she sat up and placed her hands in her lap like a proper lady. “Well then.” She smiled.

Anna leaned forward and kissed her quickly. “I’m not sure it’s any good but…”

“Anna…anything you write for me will melt me surely, now continue.” Mary said giddily.

“Well…” Anna opened the paper and Mary faced her sitting on her knees. The ocean roared behind them. The breeze caressing them.

“ The moment I meet God is always when I am greeted with your face.

A complicit ally with my endeavor to devour you

Whom helps me

Who has helped me win you. Make you mine and make you

Love me.

I am a helpless beggar at your altar.

You devour me with a simple gaze.

I have never been so helpless as when you are simply looking in my direction

Watching me live. Wanting me to live more. Watching me.

Your beautiful eyes have harnessed something within me I cannot describe as anything other than something they were made to do. Were you made to look at me? Were your eyes made to look into my soul? Was my soul made to be devoured by you?

Let me watch you the same way my darling my love. Let me devour you with my eyes let me caress your arms and soul- it tastes like seeing sunlight for the first time- it’s scent is like the first time your lips touched mine I will never tire of it please do not stop loving me-

I would perish without your love.

I would perish without you. “

Anna folded the paper up and handed it to Mary whose eyes were so glossed over she blinked and tears ran down her face.

“Mary it was not that good I just wanted-”

Mary was around her body.

“Anna I would also perish without you…” Mary was almost beside herself with emotion. “Oh my…oh my thank you.” She grasped Anna’s hair and kissed her far longer than she should have. “Can I ask you something?”

Anna, who was becoming lost in Mary, focused. “What is it?”

Mary started to fidget with her dress and look down. “Can I call you….would you ever want to be…oh never mind…” Mary laughed it off, wiping her eyes.

Anna grabbed her hand and pulled it towards her own face. “ What is it you would like to call me?”

Mary sighed. “Anna Crawley.” She said, embarrassed.

Anna was so taken aback by this she dropped Mary’s hand. “What?”

Mary was so embarrassed she laughed and wiped her face again. “Stupid I know…don’t think of it… just…”

Anna was harnessing what she was getting at. “Mary.” She placed a hand on her knee. “You want me to have your name?”

Mary sighed, almost annoyed. “I want you to have everything. I want you to have my name, yes. I know it will never happen but even if it is just between us I’d adore to call you so.”

Anna was beside herself with feelings. “Well..I…Mary…” She was trying to find the right words. “I would… Mary…I don’t think I am deserving of your family's name.”

Mary looked sternly at her. “You are.”

Anna smiled looking at her lap. “Then I shall be your Anna Crawley.” She smirked.

At those words Mary’s eyes lit up. “Can I call you that? Is that acceptable for you?”

Anna laughed. “ If you desire to give me your family name…even if it is between us my love then yes…please….”

Mary was suddenly elated and stood up pulling Anna with her and kissed her so harshly their teeth clashed. “Oh my darling I know it’s just a simple thing but being able to say that to you will mean so much.” She kissed Anna quickly and hugged her.

Anna knelt down and unlaced her shoes and did the same for Mary until they were bare footed and grabbed her hand and led her to the surf. “In that vein I suppose I am your betrothed, am I correct?’ Anna asked. The wind was blowing their hair around their faces.

Mary laughed. “Yes! Yes you are!”

“Then I demand we put our feet in the waters again.” Anna said.

Mary looked at her adoringly. “Whatever you desire my darling.”

Anna stepped forward and gathered Mary in her arms so the shore was lapping up their ankles and the bottom of their dresses.

“I love you.”

Mary shook her head. “Not as much as I do you, Anna…My Anna Mae Crawley.”

They stood holding hands in the surf wanting to do more but under the scrutiny of the public that could see didn’t.

“Take me back to our room.” Anna said after some time.

They made their way back to their spot and Mary packed up the picnic and cloth they had been sitting on and they walked back up the beach until they reached the street and there was magically a car there that Mary summoned and they were driven back to their room.

“I’m still not sure how you do it…” Anna said as they sat in the backseat of the motor.

“Not sure how I do what?”

“Make things happen I suppose.”

“Oh…money is very convincing.” Mary said in her signature drawl.

Anna smiled and looked down. “Oh I must have forgotten.” She winked.

The car stopped in front of their hotel and Mary led them back upstairs walking in front of Anna as if she were just her maid.

The instant they were inside the confines of the room Mary’s mouth was on hers.

“My darling.” She said kissing her so softly Anna was melting. “I love you so…please never leave me..” She said, kissing the side of her face.

Anna sighing gained her posture again. “Why are you so afraid of me leaving you? You say it so often and I have promised to not leave?’ She held Mary’s face in hers.

Mary pulled herself away and took off her jacket and shoes and Anna followed suit without question.

“May I hold you?” She turned around hoping Anna would help her take her dress off.

Anna stepped forward and proceeded to undress Mary as she had done so many times before. With such tenderness. Placing her corset on the table, handing her the nightgown.

Mary did the same for Anna and then they were in the warmth of their bed and Mary held Anna so tightly she started crying silently. Anna cradled her in her arms kissing the top of her head. Rocking her as she had done for her earlier.

“Anna…I ask you not to leave me…because I am so…terrified of it.” Mary said, pulling Anna’s hair into her face, breathing deeply. “I would of course let you go…but the idea of not having you is worse than anything I can ever imagine. I would never find happiness again you see. You are my joy.”

Anna pulled back so she could look Mary in the eyes. “Mary Josephine Crawley.” She said assertively. “I will never…and I repeat never…leave you.” She kissed her.

Mary laughed into their kiss. “I’m afraid that fear doesn't easily vanish, but I do like hearing you say so…Josephine? My full name I see well, Anna Mae Smith…or rather…Can I say it?”

“Please.”

“Anna Mae Crawley.” Mary’s smile was so wide Anna didn’t think she had ever seen her as elated.

They curled against one another for some time, Mary pushing her face into Anna’s hair again.

“So.” Anna said as Mary was nuzzling into her hair. “Well what is it about my hair you love so much?”

Mary sat up almost looking offended. “What is it? Anna my darling have you ever looked at yourself in a mirror.” she sounded so annoyed it caused Anna to laugh again. “Do you love my mean Mary voice so much you say these things to draw it out of me?”

Anna laughed even more. “Oh sometimes I do! However this particular moment I was simply asking.”

Mary put her face into Anna’s hair even more breathing in. “Hmm well…you smell so nice… like I said the gardens.” She kissed Anna’s face and held her tight.

They caressed one another in silence for some time again.

“Am I…now to you…in our small little world…just us…Anna Crawley?” Anna asked.

Mary’s heart jumped at the sound of Anna’s name like that and knelt over Anna. “I so want you to be. I want you to be Anna Crawley…however if you are tied to your own surname is-”

“No. I have no tie to it.” Anna reached and held her hand around her face. “I can be your Anna Crawley.”

Mary let out a sound Anna had never heard. Elation and laughter. “Oh please. Oh please can I…Can I call you mine? Call you mine with my name? Even if it’s just…even if it’s just us my darling nothing would make me happier!” Mary was smiling so widely her eyes were crinkling she pressed her forehead against hers. “Please if you allow it.”

Anna smiled with abandon, laughing loudly at the joy this brough Mary. “Mary and Anna Crawley…hmmm..yes…I suppose.” She cocked her head to the side as Mary’s smile widened even further.

“Mary and Anna Crawley! Oh! That sounds even more wonderful!” Mary practically shouted, kissing her so deeply between her elated giggles. “Yes. Mary and Anna…Mary and Anna Crawley.” She kissed Anna so deeply she pushed her into the pillow.

Anna started laughing so much it infected Mary as well and they were lost in their happiness.

Chapter Text

They woke up some hours later after some devoted love making, promising one another to always be theirs. Anna’s name being followed by Mary’s surname. Mary pressing her leg against Anna’s core and moving it quickly watching Anna come undone. Kissing her in any way. Begging Anna to stay with her forever.

“Hmmm.” Anna rolled over slightly pulling herself out of Mary’s arms which of course stirred Mary awake.

“If I have to wake up to you leaving my arms darling this won’t work…” She pulled Anna back and nuzzled the back of her neck.

Anna sighed and leaned into her, reaching her hand around to push Mary’s lips on hers. “I don’t do it intentionally, I am just accustomed to waking up at this hour…My Lady…” She rubbed her backside into Mary which wasn’t helping her leave the bed.

“Well when you do things like that…” Mary reached down and grabbed her tightly.

They woke up together gradually. The sunlight slowly lighting the room through the curtains and the ocean roaring through the cracked window.

“My darling Mary we should arise ... .we have to leave today…” Anna said with a solace almost.

Mary pushed Anna fully on her back and hovered over her so her hair was draping around them. “I know…” and kissed her lazily.

“Mmm…What time does our train leave?” Anna asked as she was used to learning the itinerary of the day.

Mary pushed herself off of her and laid back down. “Eleven…and then we are supposed to go home…Oh I am not ready for that.” Mary’s anxiety was coming back in a way Anna could say.

“Shh…” Anna leaned over her and kissed her forehead. “Then we will face it together…now come…let’s get up…” Anna pried herself from Mary’s arms and sat up and put her nightgown on. “I’ll wash up while you wake up more.”

Mary’s mind was flooded with fear at the idea of returning to Downton with her lover and facing her father and everyone else. How would the downstairs staff react? How would they navigate their relationship? Anna would surely be ostracized from the staff for getting special treatment…but not if she did her work the same surely…but she would have to sleep in her bed that was non- negotiable. Ms.Hughes was aware and somewhat supportive? Maybe she should speak to her as well…oh and Carson…She adored Carson but would he hate her knowing she had fallen for a woman and nonetheless a maid…he held her in such high regards and hoped he could still have that type of love for her anyways. Her thoughts were clouding her resolve and her panic was taking more control.

She got out of bed and put her robe on and walked to the window opening it up further so she could feel a cold breeze and breathed in trying to stifle the anxiety.

Her eyes were closed breathing in and out trying to calm the oncoming panic attack when Anna was there.

“Mary…” Anna’s hand was on her shoulder…like she had done for Anna previously. They constantly mirrored one another's actions. ”You should wash up so we can dress and make the train back home right?” Anna was encouraging her.

Mary nodded and held onto Anna as if she would disappear.

“Yes my love.” She kissed her quickly and left to wash.

***

“Mr. Carson, a word?” Ms. Hughes said, cornering him finally.

He was disgruntled, clearly still befuddled over the events that he had witnessed. “Well alright.”

Ms. Hughes led him to his office and closed the door.

“Now. I do believe…according to the Dowager that Lady Mary and Anna will be returning today. With that being said I expect you to be kind to Anna. Lady Grantham has informed me that the family intends to let Anna work here while also ... .while also being with Lady Mary ... .and if they said so then so it be…” she finished clearly done with the situation and wanting to move on.

Carson grumphed. “Hmm” He said, looking off at nothing. “I just don’t understand it. Lady Mary Crawley and a woman…a maid? She is a highborn Lady who deserves her title with a man. A man who will give her children she can raise under the Crawley name.” He still was unable to make eye contact with Ms. Hughes.

This caused Ms. Hughes to laugh genuinely. “Mr. Carson…from what you just said only makes me know for certain…you love Lady Mary enough to accept this.” She finally gained eye contact. “You do I am assuming?”

He looked more offended than she had ever seen him.

“Love Lady Mary? Elsie I love her more than anyone in the family!” He raised his voice.

Ms.Hughes laughed more. “So…does this mean you will treat them both with kindness and respect? Whatever happens? Do not cause anything to harm either of them?”

Mr. Carson looked, if possible even more offended. “Any harm! Never! Anna is a sweet soul and how she harnessed Mary’s sour attitude is still a mystery.”

He looked shocked that he had even said it. “I only meant-”

“You only spoke what everyone else thinks Mr. Carson.” She said laughing into her lap. “So. You must promise me to have an open mind and an open heart.”

He looked at her, his face softened, eyes still full of confusion. “I just don’t understand it…but…for Mary…anything.”

Ms.Hughes nodded. “Good…they’ll be here this afternoon.”

****
Mary and Anna were on the train heading back to Downton in an anxious silence.

Anna finally said something to break their silence. “Mary, I can always stay in the village until you speak to your family. I don’t want to make anything more-”

“Absolutely out of the question my darling.” She didn’t even look at her saying it. “You and I will be in this together.”

Anna tried to smile, hide her trepidation, but it was difficult. “What if his Lordship-”

“He will do nothing.” Mary said with full confidence. “If Granny did as she said, which I have no doubt she didn’t, then we will be only met with a discussion of how things will go from here on out. Which after some time will die down.” Mary finally looked over at Anna. Her eyes flickering from brown to amber with the passing light from the window.

Anna was distracted by it. “Mary, you are so beautiful. I am so struck with the idea you have chosen me still…I fear I will not get accustomed to it…especially when we are home.” Anna grabbed her hand and kissed it quickly.

This seemed to bring Mary out of her anxious thoughts. “You must though. Anna Mae Crawley.” She could barely finish the words without smiling widely. “Oh I’ll have to find ways to call you that more often.”

“I look forward to it…never thought I’d be given a highborn title.” Anna crossed her ankles and looked out the window when Mary’s hand was pulling her face to look at hers.

“You will have whatever you want my love.” She kissed her quickly.

The train started slowing and they both felt their panic set in.

“As long as you’re with me Mary I’ll be fine.” Anna said, finding her resolve.

“I’ll always be with you my love.”

The train came to a full stop and they were helped out of the cabin onto the train platform.

Their bags were carried to the motor where Tom was waiting for them. “My Lady…Anna…it’s good to have you back.” He said smiling, opening the door for them.

“Thank you, Tom.” Mary helped Anna in first and then followed.

Once the car was moving Mary started asking questions. “I’ll leave the interrogations about being with my little sister for another time, however, I’d like to know what the downstairs staff has been saying about this.”

“Well My Lady they’re shocked…however there are many who are not. Ms. Patmore for one…says she wasn’t surprised you were a…well..and Thomas of course…William and Daisy think it’s wonderfully romantic to quote Daisy. Gwen has informed many of them of how your relationship came to be. I don’t think Anna needs to worry too much about having any guff from the staff. Anna is well liked by all of them.” He smiled in the mirror at them.

“Well of course she is Anna is a delight I just don’t want her to run into anyone who would-”

“She won't be. I can promise you. At least not when it comes to the downstairs staff, My Lady.” Tom assured her.

“And of my family?” Mary asked, gripping Anna’s hand tightly.

Tom took some time before answering. “Lady Sibyl says his Lordship has come around…however I…that will be up to you to decide. Sibyl did tell her family of us…so that might help.” Tom said and then there it was. The manor was in site.

Mary was once again pulled from her thoughts. “She did? You must-”

“My Lady… in due time.” Tom said.

Anna felt so nervous she started to breath in and out quickly and Mary pulled her face into her hands. “ My darling…together or not at all.”

“Yes, Mary.” is all she could muster.

The car stopped at the front doors and Lord and Lady Grantham were there along with Sibyl and Edith.

Mary noted that her mother and sisters had smiles on their faces while her father was looking grim.

Tom opened the door for them and helped Mary and Anna out and nodded at them encouragingly.

Mary and Anna stood still looking at the family. Mary’s mean face was in full form when Sibyl walked forward and grabbed her sister into a hug and kissed her face. “Mary, we missed you.” She then went to Anna and pulled her into the same hug. “Anna, it is so nice to see you.”

“Welcome home.” Edith said, smiling at both of them.

“My Darling.” Cora hugged her daughter tightly kissing her face as well. “My dear.” she reached and grabbed Anna’s hand. “Welcome home.”

They all looked at Lord Grantham who was looking as awkward as ever. Carson too stood like he was not sure how to react.

“Robert, your daughter is home.” Cora said.

“Mary….” He said slowly approaching her.

Mary with her demon eyes watched him with apprehension and put her hand on Anna’s. “Papa.”

He stood in front of them both. “I am glad you are home…and…” He looked at Anna who wasn’t daring to make eye contact before but did look up. She was filled with rage again knowing the last time she had seen him he struck Mary to the floor. “Anna…” He finally nodded at her which she took graciously.

“Your Grace.” She nodded.

They stood in silence until Sibyl, ever the tension breaker, said, “Well! Why don’t we go inside.”

Mary grabbed Anna’s hand and they followed everyone into the foyer.

Carson stopped Anna however. “Anna…I just…You…” He was having trouble finding the words.

“Anna, your employment here has not been discontinued.” Cora said, finally looking at Carson. “And if you’d like to stay with Mary in her room then you can.” She looked at Robert sternly.

Thomas had their bags and was with them suddenly. “Where would you like your things brought?” He looked at Anna with a grin. Oh she was happy to see him.

“Well..” Anna looked at Mary.

“Bring them to my room please Barrow.” Mary said.

“Very well My Lady.” He winked at Anna and carried them upstairs.

Robert looked so uncomfortable and was looking at the women surrounding him when he said, “Anna I think you should join us for dinner this evening.” He didn’t make eye contact but instead looked at the floor. “Is that suitable for you?

Anna was so anxious during this entire interaction she was flustering to respond. Don’t be a coward.

“Yes My Lord.” She said looking at him in the eyes finally. Sternly. Wanting to also strike him as he had done to her Mary.

“Good! Well that is settled then.” Cora piped up. “We’ll let you two get settled and see you this evening?” She grabbed Mary’s arm comfortingly.

“Thank you Mama, yes.” Mary made her way to the stairs with Anna’s hand in hers and once they were in the safe confines of the room they had fallen in love, looked at each other.

“I-” Anna started when they both broke out in some sort of hysterical laughter.

Anna fell into Mary’s arms, both of them giggling uncontrollably. “Mary oh my gods.”

Mary held her tightly laughing into her neck. “Oh my indeed…well…that went better than I expected…” She pulled her face up to hers and kissed her.

Anna pulled Mary’s coat off and hung it in the wardrobe and when she went to take her’s off as well Mary helped and hung it next to hers. “Will you be moving in here with me then?”

Anna’s thoughts were loud. “Well, I suppose I don’t have a choice…” She then found her humor had brought her out of her anxiety. “I believe Mary and Anna Crawley should share a bed should they not?”

Mary stopped her movements and looked widely at Anna. “Oh.” She crossed the room and started kissing Anna feverishly. “Yes…Anna Crawley should share a room with me…my betrothed…” Mary kissed her face and her hands and laughed into Anna’s blonde locks. “Would seem silly for you to be so far away from me, correct?”

Anna pushed Mary back and smiled. “You certainly find joy in my new name.”

Mary caressed Anna’s face. “You have no idea my darling.”

Anna pushed her back teasingly. “I should bring these downstairs to wash.” She held their sandy dresses in her arms. “Especially if I am to retain my employment here….also I’d like to just get it over with…”

Mary kissed her. “When will you be back?”

“I’ll have to speak to Mr. Carson I’m sure…I’d like to see Thomas…maybe get the feel of how they see me now…but I’ll be back for this…oh god this dinner with your family.”

Mary held her tightly. The sandy dresses between them. “I don’t need you to dress me. I can have Gwen do it tonight if you’re too busy.” She kissed the top of her head.

“Well…we’ll see….” Anna looked up at her. “I’ll see you soon Mary…”

“I love you so my darling.” Mary kissed her. “Now…off with you…” She had difficulty watching her go. “Oh I hate not having you in my site.”

Anna stepped backwards toward the door, “I’ve heard Lady Mary Crawley loves watching her maid whenever she can? What an odd rumor?” She teased.

Mary played along as she always did. “I heard it’s obscene as well…I also heard they are having a scandalous love affair at the Abbey?”

“Very scandalous…the maid and the eldest daughter of Grantham? Tisk….how could she ever…”

They were so easily lost in one another and Mary stepped forwards and kissed Anna deeply and slowly causing Anna to drop the clothes she was holding and Mary moved them so Anna leaned against the door. Mary’s favorite place for her to be when she was trying to leave. Anna pulled back and traced her hands around Mary’s face.

“It seems this maid has also fallen for the Earl of Grantham’s eldest daughter…madly…madly in love…”Anna kissed Mary’s shoulder and moved around her and picked up the dresses. “I must go, Mary.”

Mary opened the door for her.

“I love you my darling.”

“I love you. I shall see you this evening.”

*****

Anna snuck through the grand hallway towards the servants corridor with their dresses for the wash and when she made her way towards the servants hall she was greeted with polite smiles. She tried to hide her anxiety when at the bottom she made her way to the washroom when she was stopped.

“Well look who is back.”

She turned around smiling. “Oh my.” she ran up and hugged Thomas who was taken aback slightly before returning the embrace. “I hope your expedition was successful. It seems like it might have been so?” He grabbed the dresses from her arms. “Oh were you tossing around in the surf?”

Anna laughed. “Not quite…well…actually yes…we had a lovely time…I am supposed to dine with them tonight…” Anna’s anxiety came back.

“Well I know Ms. Hughes want’s to speak with you so why don’t you go and get that over with and I’ll take care of this.”

“Thomas…does the rest of the staff…do they…”

“They don’t hate you…jealous maybe…but no hatred…fortunately for you…you are too sweet to hate.” He smiled. “Now off with you.”

Anna turned around and found Ms. Hughes standing waiting for her. “I suppose we should talk.” She said,

“I suppose so…” She led them to her office and they sat down.

“Anna I won’t pretend like this isn’t unusual. However… We have to abide by what the families wishes are and their wishes are that you stay with Mary and work here still. Which is fine by me…you can speak to Mr.Carson maybe at a later time…I think it’s still very odd for him but I can assure you he will come around…lucky for you he adores Lady Mary.” She said, smiling at Anna.

“Ms. Hughes. I only want to continue my job like I have been…I do know that Mary wants me to sleep in her room so I will be moving my things-”

“I know….oh what a sentence to hear. Well I have a favor to ask of you since you still want to retain your employment here.”

“Of course.” Anna said, sitting up straighter.

“I know you just traveled but would you mind fetching some things from the village for us. I have a list and as you are not working this evening…I know you are having dinner with the family… oh my…but…” Ms. Hughes was smiling into her lap.

“I would love to give me the list and I’ll go immediately.”

“Thank you. Branson will bring the car around.” She smiled kindly at Anna. “And Anna…Not that this is my approval but seeing you and the Lady together…well…I can see that she loves you very much.”

This made Anna blush and she fiddled with her hands. “She does Ms. Hughes.”

Ms. Hughes nodded. “Well then….you must leave soon so you can be back before dinner…that you will not be serving for once.” She laughed.

****

Anna sat in the front seat with Tom as he drove them to the village.

“So…look at us.”

Anna and him couldn’t contain their laughter. “Oh my, Tom. I’m not sure I’m doing the right thing still, however I have fallen in love and I know she loves me as well. I can't do anything otherwise.”

“Anna…I am in the same predicament as you.” He chuffed. “Sibyl told her family while you were gone.”

“Yes I remember that’s what you said, how did that play out?

“Badly.”

They both laughed again as Tom pulled into the village. “Well I’ll let you out here and then fetch you in an hour. I’ll have to park across the way.”

Anna opened the door and exited. “I’ll be quick.”

She watched as the motor went off and went towards the stores to pick up the items on Ms.Hughes list.

******************************************

The sun was getting slightly low but not enough to where she would have to worry about missing her dinner with the family . Oh how would that go anyways. Would she wear her maids uniform? Would that just drive Mary wild with desire? The thought of how her maid's uniform made Mary lose her mind caused her to giggle to herself and she turned around the store to find a man waiting for her.

She knelt her head down and tried to move around him. “Excuse me please.” She said politely.

He backed her into the alley. Anna’s heart was hammering. “Please I have a driver waiting for me.”

He grabbed Anna tightly and pushed her against the stone wall and she dropped the bags with the items she had just purchased.

“No!” She tried to fight her way off his grasp. “Please! Let me by!”

He held out a knife and cut open the front of her dress holding her throat. Anna was bruising her hands trying to fend off the man when he pushed her head against the brick wall behind them. Her head was dizzy and she was trying not to lose consciousness.

“Please…” She begged. He hit her hard several times in the chest knocking the wind out of her and slammed one of her hands against the stone. She felt some of her fingers might have been broken. She tried to cry out but he pressed a hand over it and knocked her head back lifting her dress up.

“I’ve seen you several times…ladies maid to the fancy house…how will they like you now.” He grunted trying to push into Anna. Her eyes wide with fear and when she tried to escape him he hit her hard in the chest again and dragged the knife along the side of her face stopping at her ear.

She screamed into his hand still trying to escape when he hit her hard and she almost lost consciousness she felt another blow to her face. Blood was now pouring down her lip.
She would never see Mary again and it was her amber eyes she last saw in her mind before he shoved her so hard into the wall the back of her head hit the stone she did lose consciousness.

**********************************

Mary and her family were sat in the library. Mary was dressed by Gwen and they gossiped about hers and Anna’s little getaway. Mary genuinely adored Gwen at this point. However she was getting nervous that Anna had not been back yet. Was she too nervous to be with her family? That was understandable of course but Mary was beginning to be more worried.

“Is she unable to join us?’ Her father said almost annoyed.

“Papa, she knows she was invited. I'm not sure why she is not here but the fact she isn’t is concerning to me.”

Mary stood up and called for Thomas.

He was there within minutes.

“Yes My Lady.”

“Thomas, do you know where Anna is?”

“Ms. Hughes sent her into the village for some items with Branson…I’m not sure if they are back…I will go and-”

At this Tom ran into the library with his face bruised and his lip cut. “My Lady….”

“Tom!” Sibyl stood up and crossed the room towards him. “What?”

Tom was trying to catch his breath.

Mary’s panic was paramount.

She crossed the room as well. “What happened?”

“It’s Anna…She was…She’s at the hospital.”

Mary’s heart plummeted to a place she didn’t even know existed.

Cora stood up. “What!?”

“Branson what happened?” Robert approached him as well.

“I found Anna after waiting for her, your Lordship…she’s hurt badly…I carried her to the hospital.” He looked at Mary. “The man got away…I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.” He wiped his face which was perspiring.

Mary’s face was full of fear until it was full of anger. “Take me to the hospital. Now!” She yelled.

“Yes My Lady.” He said.

“I will go with you.” Sibyl said and followed Tom out to the car.

“Wait!” Robert said, stopping them.

“ I WILL NOT WAIT!’ Mary yelled. “Tom, you will take me now!” Mary sounded murderous.

She ran to the motor without even having a coat brought to her.

Cora was on her heels. “I shall come with you. Barrow bring Lady Mary and I coats.”

“Mama I will not wait for coats!” Mary was beside herself with a combination of anger and anguish. “Tom, how badly is she hurt!”

Tom looked lost. “She wasn’t conscious when I found her. She was…” He looked at Sibyl who seemed to gather what he was trying to say.

“Mary, she's in a safe place, let's just wait so Mama can join us….please.” Sibyl was caressing Mary’s arm when Mary let out a scream that echoed throughout the hall full of such despair she held herself with her arms trying to regain some semblance of control.

Tom was looking at Sibyl and then saw that Thomas had run forward with coats for Lady Grantham and one for Mary and Sibyl who was already outside.

He led Sibyl out and held the door open for Lady Grantham. Sibyl sat in front next to Tom.

The car was silent except for the seething rage that was radiating off of Mary.

“Tom, tell me what happened.” She said again.

“My Lady I was waiting for Anna to come around and when she didn’t I went looking for her…and…I cannot say it…” He placed a hand over his mouth and then back to the stick shift. “Dr. Clarkson is taking care of her and she is safe.”

Mary understood. Anna had been raped.

“Did you get a good look at the man?” She demanded.

“I did your Ladyship. We got into a tussle. I think I have seen him before.”

Mary nodded. “Good… we need to inform the police…” Mary looked at her mother.

Cora reached over and held tightly to Mary’s hand. “Mary…” She said and Mary noted that her eyes were glossy.

Tom pulled up to the hospital and before the car was barely stopped Mary was opening the door and sprinted to the entrance. She calmed herself knowing there were other sick people finding rest when Dr. Clarkson saw her and walked over.

“Lady Mary.” He nodded when he saw Lady Sibyl and Lady Grantham enter. “Oh.” He seemed surprised by the Crawley family showing up in a trove.

“Where is she?” Mary said almost murderously.

Dr. Clarkson looked at Lady Grantham who nodded a do what she says.

“This way.”

He led Mary to a bed where Anna was.

Anna’s face was black and blue. Her dress was off completely and she had been covered in just a sheet. There must have been injuries to her collar bones and arms as there were several bandages and salves on them. Anna’s right hand had a wrap around it as well. One large cut on the side of her cheek was covered with a cloth.

Mary couldn’t breathe. She clasped a hand over her mouth to stop a scream from escaping it. She stood looking at her as if she were in a nightmare. She approached Anna slowly looking at the Doctor.

“What…”

Cora and Sibyl were inside the curtain now as well looking at Anna in horror.

“Tell me about her wounds.” Mary demanded.

Dr. Clarkson cleared his throat. “Anna has sustained cuts along her face and collar bones. Her hand is broken and she has severe bruising on her chest. I will assess if the ribs are bruised when she has recovered a little more…. She has a fractured zygomatic bone…as to say her cheek bone is broken…she was…” He faltered at his words. “I’m not sure it’s proper to say-”

“Tell me!” Mary demanded through gritted teeth.

“She was also sexually assaulted. Her pelvis has bruising.” He finished and looked at Lady Grantham who was now crying genuinely.

“Will she be possibly with child?” Cora said what they were all thinking.

“I cannot be sure…however when a body goes through this much trauma it is hard for it to render one. We will know soon…I don’t want to…she has already had some bleeding…which would indicate that…”He was uncomfortable saying that she was so harmed.

Mary knelt next to her bed starting to sob. “Anna…it’s Mary…”

“We gave her morphine. She’s not in pain right now.” The doctor said.

Mary looked at the Doctor with wild eyes. “Will she recover?”

“Yes…with time.” He said, looking at Lady Grantham. “I know she is close to your family and is your maid-”

“She’s not just our maid…” Mary said wanting to touch her but unsure which part she could. Anna’s face was so bruised. Her hand wrapped, her ribs also had a tight bandage around them. Anna’s lip was split and her blonde hair still had traces of blood in it.

“Doctor Clarkson, if Anna is with…is there any way….” Cora said, wiping her eyes.

The Doctor looked at them all sternly. “It would have to be discreet…”

“Thank you Doctor…will you give us a moment alone with Anna.” Cora asked.

He looked at them sadly but left and closed the curtain so Sibyl, Cora, and Mary were the only ones next to Anna. Sibyl approached Mary first.

“She will make a full recovery.” She said placing a delicate on her sister's shoulder.

Mary couldn’t decide if she was overcome with anger or grief.

“My love…my darling…I'm here….” Mary whispered to Anna placing a delicate hand on the back of her head not hearing anything else. “My love…I’m here….” She kissed her hair barely pressing her lips to her afraid she’d hurt her.

Cora looked at Sibyl and they both understood the magnitude of how much Mary loved Anna.

“I’ll stay with you.” Cora said and left and summoned two chairs.

Sibyl stood at the foot of the bed. “I’ll stay as well.” She nodded to her mother who went and found another chair.

Sibyl was sat at the foot of the bed and Cora made Mary sit in a chair directly next to Anna and placed her own next to Mary’s.

“Sibyl you should tell Tom that he can drive back to the manor he can-”

“He won’t leave without me, mama. I’ll go tell him regardless.” Sibyl said, standing up and leaving.

Cora found this amusing. “My darling daughters ... .so in love.”

Mary couldn’t hear anything. She watched as Anna breathed in and out she memorized her bruises and her injuries constructing how she would help her recover.

“Mary?” Cora said.

Mary finally looked at her mother with tears streaming down her face.

“Anna will make a full recovery…Doctor Clarkson said…”

“But what if-”

“We don’t know that now let’s not worry about it until we need to.” She rubbed Mary’s back. “Shhh…” She kissed Mary’s face.

Mary looked at Anna with such anguish which turned into anger. “We will find the man that did this. I will -”

“Mary, let's have your father handle that.”

Mary looked at her mother confused. “Would Papa even want to ? Or would he be happy Anna be out of my life. I will be with her-” Mary’s hushed whispers started to become more vocal.

“Mary…Mary let’s let your father handle that part….you just be here for Anna, Okay?”

Mary finally succumbed and nodded- tears streaming down her face she placed another light kiss on Anna’s hair. “My darling, I'm here.” she said into Anna’s ear.

Sibyl was back and sat at the end of the bed. “Tom will wait for us whenever we’re ready to come back…mostly for Mama and I, Mary…but…Anna is well taken care of.”

“I won’t leave her.” Mary said without looking at her sister.

“Yes, that’s what I thought.” She looked at her mother knowingly.

They all sat in silence for some time. Mary caressing Anna’s hair softly, barely touching her. Cora would occasionally reach over and place a hand on Mary’s knee. Sibyl’s hand at the end of Anna’s hospital bed patting the bedding just to feel like she was letting Anna know they were all around her.

Doctor Clarkson would check on them ever so often, somewhat surprised that the three of them were so invested in Anna’s recovery.

Eventually Sibyl stood. “Mama…Let’s go back.”

Mary didn’t stand however.

“Will you-”

“I’ll stay here, Mama.” Mary said.

“I thought so.” Cora kissed the top of her head. “You love her.” Cora whispered.

“I love her…I love her more than anything, Mama.” Mary looked up at her mother. “And I do not regret any decision about it.”

Cora smiled. “I know.” She gestured for Sibyl to exit.

“Send word whenever you want to come home sister.”

Mary nodded. “Thank you.” She looked at them both. “Oh and…please tell Thomas…he and Anna are close friends…” Mary added.

“I’ll make sure Tom tells him.” Sibyl said and her and Cora left Mary and Anna alone.

Mary felt the silence of the hospital almost suffocating. Anna had barely moved since she had been there. She decided to speak to her softly.

“My darling…I am here…you rest…I will take care of you always…” She kissed her head once again lightly.

Anna stirred for the first time.

“Mary…” She said barely audibly.

Mary sat up straighter, “Anna? I am here.”

“How are you here?’ Anna said slurring her speech trying to come out of the morphine she was given. “I’m in so much…it hurts…” Anna hadn’t even opened her eyes when Mary stood up and left looking for a nurse.

She found one nearby “This patient needs pain medicine. She's awoken please.” The nurse was clearly not expecting the eldest Crawley daughter to approach her.

“Yes My Lady.” She left.

Mary opened the curtain again.

“They’re bringing you more pain medication…” She said when Anna opened her eyes.

Her right eye was so swollen she could only manage one eye and held her uninjured hand up to caress Mary’s face. “Mary.” Is all she said. “I am spoiled.” She said and dropped her hand.

Mary’s eyes became wide with fear. “Anna? No. You are not… Anna?”

Anna breathed in with difficulty. “I am spoiled…for you…” Her breathing was heavy and ragged. “Leave.” Anna turned away from her.

Mary didn’t move. “Anna…no….I won’t…Anna I-”

The nurse came in and Mary quickly stepped back. “She’s been muttering I can’t seem to understand…”

“My Lady that’s the morphine…she’s in quite some pain…” The nurse injected Anna with another dose and Mary could see Anna’s body slump back into her painless sleep.

“Not to worry Lady Mary…give it time she will recover.” The nurse said kindly. “She’ll be asleep for several more hours so you can visit her in the morning.”

Mary shook her head. “No. I’ll stay here thank you. May I have a blanket however?”

The nurse looked confused. “Of course My Lady.” She answered and left and came back with a blanket. “We can always send word to the Abbey when she is healed.”

Mary looked at her sternly. Her mean Mary face. “You can send a word to me whilst I am sat next to her.”

The nurse knelt her head and left quickly .

Her mean Mary face that Anna adored.

Mary could see Anna’s smiling face in her arms not even days ago. Their feet in the sand. She had said she would see her soon and now she was unconscious in the hospital having been assaulted.

Mary started to cry and put both of her hands over her mouth to stop the anguished cries from leaving her mouth. She sat back in the chair the blanket she was under fell off, and scooted closer to the bed and laid her head on the mattress with her head barely touching Anna’s body.

“You said you’d never leave me…you promised…Anna Mae Crawley…you promised…” Mary whispered. “I love you…I’ll be right here….”

Mary started to drift off her arms under her head next to Anna. “I am right here…”

***

Cora and Sibyl walked into the foyer when Thomas was there looking anxious.

“I’m sorry…My Lady…Your Ladyship…I just…Anna is a…” His eyes were wide with fear.

Sibyl grabbed his arm. “Anna was assaulted. She will make a full recovery according to the doctor. Mary is staying with her.”

Thomas breathed out and put a hand over his mouth. “My apologies…I…Thank you Lady Sibyl…” He started to straighten his uniform.

“Barrow…You should visit Anna tomorrow….I’ll make sure Carson knows.” Cora said, handing him her and Sibyl’s coats. “For now we know Anna is safe…even safer with my daughter watching over her.” She looked at her youngest. “Goodnight my darling.” She kissed her and went upstairs.

Sibyl stood looking at Thomas who looked truly distraught. “Thomas, she will recover.”

Thomas nodded and let out a sob. “Thank you My Lady.” He said

She left with a smile and Thomas made his way down to the servants hall with their coats.

***

Cora undressed herself not wanting to wake up her maid, and crawled into bed next to Robert who was clearly awake.

“How is she? He asked.

“She’s hurt very badly…Mary is staying with her.” Cora said.

Robert huffed out a sigh. “Will Anna recover? What happened?”

“She was raped, Robert. Badly.” Cora plainly said.

Robert leaned up with a startle.

“Oh well she must recover here! Who was the man? Do we know?”

“Branson said he knows…let’s leave it until the morning shall we…” Cora curled up against her husband.

“Oh I will have that man in prison.” Robert said in the same murderous tone his oldest daughter could harness. “I will promise that to Mary.” He held his wife tightly.

Cora hummed. “I’m glad to hear that.” and she kissed his cheek and fell asleep.

***

Mary was drifting in and out of sleep laying her head on Anna’s bed when she felt a hand move.

She sat up quickly. Anna’s eyes were open as much as they could be.

“My darling.” Mary said, her eyes wide with worry. “Shall I summon the nurse-” She went to stand when Anna stopped her with a simple brush of her hand on Mary’s

Anna smiled the best she could. “Why are you still here?” Anna asked.

Mary found this annoying. “Where else would I be?”

“I told you.. To leave me…I am spoiled for you…” Anna’s one eye that was able to be open let a tear run down her cheek.

“Anna Mae do not say that ever to me again you understand me.” She was holding back her sobs. “Do you understand me…” Mary said in a hushed whisper caressing the top of her hair as light as a feather.

Anna tried to sit up and then winced. “Anna don’t move… the doctor said you chest is bruise I’m not sure that has to do with your ribs or-”

“Mary.” Anna said feebly holding her unbandaged hand up which still had some wounds on it. “I am sorry.”

Mary sat down again and scooted as close as she could. “No I am sorry…I promised to keep you safe.” Mary held Anna’s hand around her cheek. “I failed you.”

Anna pulled one of Mary’s stray hairs around her ear. “I’m sorry for saying I’d leave…I won’t do that again.” She said clearing her throat which Mary noticed had bruising on as well. “You deserve-”

“Stop.” Mary said, trying to stop her quavering voice. “Stop apologizing…Anna my love…” Mary could barely manage to say a full sentence looking at the state Anna was in. “I will take care of you until you are healed.”

Anna hummed. “Can you hold me?” She scooted over the best she could, her voice weak. “Please.”

Mary thought about denying her due to her injuries and where they were but debated this for exactly five seconds when she sat on the bed and placed her legs next to Anna’s and wrapped one arm gently around Anna.

“I don’t want to hurt you my love-”

“You aren’t…” Anna leaned into Mary and sighed out. “You told me.”

Mary settled into the pillow, her hand around Anna softly and she kissed the top of her hair. “I told you what?” She said, confused.

Anna was breathing with some difficulty but she seemed to relax when Mary was close.

“That anytime… I asked…to be in your arms…anytime I wanted I could…”

Mary smiled into her hair holding back her tears the best she could. “Yes my love I did say that didn’t I…and anytime you want to be in my arms you will be…you’re in them now…and you’ll stay in them as long as you want.” Mary cried as she held them together not caring about anyone walking in on them.

Anna hummed. “You still love me.”

Mary could tell the morphine was talking as well.

“More than I could ever convey.” She whispered.

“You still love me…Mary…you still want to love me-”

“Forever. No matter.”

She felt Anna fall back into her slumber now that she was held in her arms and Mary also felt calmer, however her anger at the man who had done this to her beloved would not leave her mind. Nor would it leave for some time until justice came to him…Or I kill him myself.

For now she held Anna and listened to her breathing and closed her eyes finally falling asleep as well with her beloved laying in them as delicately as they could.

Chapter Text

The morning approached and Mary and Anna were still laying next to one another in the small hospital bed when Dr. Clarkson came in to assess Anna. He saw them and was suddenly aware of why the family had been here for their maid. He had heard rumors of them in the village but never paid attention to rumors in the first place. Seeing them asleep however…he only felt a pang in his heart for how Mary must be feeling.

He placed a hand on Mary softly waking her. “My Lady…”

Mary opened her eyes looking at the doctor who nodded knowingly. “We need to reapply the dressings to her wounds…and I need to do another pelvic exam.” He held a hand out for her and she grabbed it gently pulling herself from Anna who had not stirred in the slightest.

Mary stood and turned around quickly helping Anna be in a more comfortable position.

“May I help?” She whispered.

“If you’d like to then yes.” At this a nurse entered with a bowl of warm water and cloth.

“My Lady we need to wash her-”

“I will do that.” Mary pushed her sleeves up and walked over to the nurse grabbing the bowl and setting it on the table. “I need to wash the stains from her hair….”

The nurse looked at the doctor with a look like she also was gathering the situation. “Yes My Lady… place her old bandages in the bin ...we will have to apply them again and you'll have to leave that up to us however.” She smiled and left.

“Clarkson?” Mary asked.

“Yes My Lady.”

Mary looked at him and she could see in his face he understood. ”Thank you.” is all she could muster before putting the cloth in the warm water wringing it out.

He opened the curtain and he and the nurse exited.

Mary pulled the sheet down so she could wash her legs and torso and was once again overwhelmed with Anna’s injuries. She had bruises on her legs and thighs. She took a deep breath of gusto and started wiping her legs gently and then when she reached her privates she delicately pressed the cloth around them noting that they were also bruised. It made Mary so angry she wanted to burn down the entire village.

Instead she decided to talk to her. “When we were at the sea…and I said your eyes weren’t as blue…I only meant that when your eyes are grey they are also beautiful. I love a grey day…as we are English…I think the contrast is magical that they can show me every color of the sky I adore.” She pulled the sheet up to cover her from the waist down and started cleaning her arms and torso very delicately. She peeled off the bandage on her ribs and had to press a hand over her mouth so she wouldn’t cry out and continued talking to her. “And I also plan on bringing you to my favorite restaurant in London. The lights in the establishment are stunning…and if you were in some sort of golden dress…no, maybe not golden…black…we could both wear black…” Mary was talking through her tears. She eventually pulled the bandage off of Anna’s hand carefully and sat it down on the bed not touching it again. She wiped her face tenderly and rinsed the washcloth out in the bowl noticing that the water had turned copper. “When we do that I’d love for you to order whatever you desire…we can walk in the park after…maybe it will rain and you can as you said watch the sky kiss my skin..or something…you’re so silly.”

Mary pushed Anna’s blond hair to the side and washed the remaining blood from it doing her best to keep her resolve. “Anna Mae Crawley.” She placed the rag on the edge of the bowl and grabbed the dry one to dab the parts of her face that had water on them and then peeled off the bandage on the cut on her face.

She gasped. The cut ran down her hairline to her ear and had been stitched. Mary stood and placed the old bandages in the bin next to Anna’s bed and went to tell the nurse she had finished cleaning her.

She opened the curtain only slightly and the nurse was waiting and came over with her supplies.

Dr. Clarkson was there as well and Mary stood back watching them assess her injuries and press salve against her stitches in her face and place a fresh bandage across it as well as wrapping one around her bruised ribs.

“She’ll need a stint for some time…” Dr. Clarkson looked at the nurse as he assessed her hand injury and she grabbed a mold to place Anna’s hand in to separate the fingers which caused Anna to stir.

Anna opened her eyes and immediately found Mary’s.

“Anna, I'm going to separate your fingers.” Clarkson nodded at Anna who was in and out of reality and gently placed Anna’s fingers into the stint.

She gasped and cried out. Mary was at her side instantly. “Anna…your hand is broken, it needs to be set.” Mary was pressing a hand on the top of Anna’s head gently.

Clarkson continued and then wrapped her hand with a bandage securing it with a clasp.

“Now…” He looked at the nurse who started to pull the sheet down. “My Lady you-”

“I won’t leave.”

He nodded and proceeded with the pelvic exam with several clothes catching any bleeding.

Anna started to panic, not being able to break from her morphine.

Mary knelt down next to her. “My darling I’m right here…I am here…Anna shh..” This stilled Anna and her breathing slowed.

Clarkson stood up pulling the sheet back over her quickly and beckoned Mary over to him to let the nurse finish up mending to Anna.

“My Lady I do not believe the worst however I still won’t know for at least two weeks…there is quite a bit of bruising and…” He started to look uncomfortable.

Mary rolled her eyes annoyed. “Clarkson I am a woman just tell me.”

“It seems she has started her cycle. Which is promising that no child will come of this.” He looked uncomfortable before asking. “Is Anna’s cycle regular?” He wasn’t questioning that Mary wouldn’t know this as it was clear the nature of their relationship.

“Yes, in fact it is normally around this time.”

“That’s good. Not an easy time to become pregnant.” He said, noting that Mary looked relieved.

“If she is however we must-”

“Yes My Lady…” He led them back behind the curtain. “I think you should go and get some rest. I promise Anna is well taken care of.”

“No…I’ll still stay with her.” Mary was beyond exhausted but the idea of not being near her was enough motivation to not leave.

“Yes My Lady.” Him and the nurse left them and closed the curtain. “She will be given another dose of morphine soon.”

Mary sat down in the chair next to Anna’s bed.

“My darling I love you so.” Mary whispered.

Anna stirred slightly. “You like my grey eyes, do you?” She said, swallowing.

Mary smiled at hearing her speak to her. “I do.”

“Would you take me…to the sea again…”

Mary’s eyes filled with tears once again. “I’ll take you wherever you’d like.” She tried to muster a smile. “Wherever you’d like to go…you’ll never go someplace without me again.”

“Can I come home?” She croaked out looking at Mary’s golden eyes that were so full of worry.

“I think so soon. Maybe in a few day’s…I’m not sure…. and then I’ll take care of you and you can be warm in my bed my darling.”

“Mary?” Anna said, looking at her. Her face so bruised and battered Mary squashed down her cries.

“Yes my darling?”

“I’m sorry I missed dinner with your family.”

This made Mary laugh and Anna smile.

******

The morning breakfast was subdued.

“I’d like to go down to the hospital today… I know Barrow would like to see Anna.” Edith said, looking at her father.

He was barely eating. “I have business with Murray anyways…I need to speak to the chief…and Tom…Branson said he saw the man.” Robert looked at Sibyl. “I must thank him.”

Sibyl and Edith looked at one another. “Thank him?” Edith said.

“For saving Anna…” He stood up and left them sitting at the table alone.

Edith looked at her sister. “Well then…That is something isn’t it?”

Sibyl smiled. “I think it would be good of you to go down to the hospital. Maybe we can take it in shifts so Mary can have some rest?”

“That is what I was thinking as well. Let me ring for Thomas.”

Edith stood up and walked into the hall to find Carson making his way to the breakfast table.

“Carson, would you mind finding Barrow? I’m going down to the hospital today and I’d like him to join me.”

“Yes My Lady.” He turned and went towards the servants door when Thomas was opening it.

“Oh Barrow…” Edith approached him. “I was going down to the hospital. I thought you’d like to join me?’ She said.

Thomas looked as if he hadn’t gotten any ounce of sleep. “Yes I would like that Lady Edith thank you.”

“Perfect, I'll have the motor called.”

****

Edith and Thomas arrived at the hospital. Thomas, eager to find his friend, found a nurse.

“We’re looking for Anna Smith?” He said and the nurse pointed to her curtain.

Thomas opened it slowly and saw the state of Anna and started to cry, turning away. Mary was sleeping with her head knelt on the bed still sitting in the chair next to her.

Edith walked over to Mary. “Mary…” She placed a hand on her shoulder.

Mary awoke with a startle looking at them both and instantly noticed how upset Thomas was. She stood up and gestured for him to sit in the chair next to Anna’s bed.

He sat down and grasped his own hands together leaning his elbows on her bed. “Oh look at you now and you said you weren’t worried about yourself now the state of you…” He started laughing and grabbed Anna’s hand softly. “Oh Anna….”

Mary watched this interaction with her eyes still fuzzy with sleep but understood how much Anna and him had become close. She looked at Edith, shocked she was there.

“I think you should go home and clean up…get some sleep…I’ll stay here with Anna…as will Barrow…she won't be left alone.” Edith looked uncomfortable even saying such things to her sister whom she had never gotten along with.

Mary nodded. “You won’t leave her?”

“I won’t.” Edith pulled one of the chairs so she was on the opposite side of Thomas who was still reeling from seeing her in this state.

“Clarkson said she will make a full recovery, Barrow. She has a broken hand…and bruising to her ribs…a laceration on her face….broken cheek bone…there’s also…” She tried to say the worst part and Thomas looked at her with somewhat the same murderous look she could have.

He pressed his lips together and knew what she was trying to say.

“I’ll stay with her…while you go rest…” He looked over at Lady Edith who was settling in as well. “Lady Edith and I will.” his hand wrapped around Anna’s.

Mary was so exhausted with grief she closed her eyes and nodded. “I will be back.”

Mary leaned over Anna and kissed her forehead. “My sister and Thomas are here…I shall be back my darling…I love you…” She kissed her lightly again and went to leave through the curtain when Edith stopped her.

“She will be okay, Mary. She will recover.”

Mary looked at her sister in a way she had never done before. Edith and her always butting heads but at this moment she couldn’t find a way to thank her. “I….I don’t know what to-”

“Go and rest.”

Mary left them in silence. Edith leaned forward and placed a hand next to Anna watching Thomas cry holding Anna’s good hand softly.

“Tell me about your friendship?” Edith was trying to distract him from his grief.

He sat up wiping his eyes, “Oh well..My Lady…Anna was maybe the only one who was ever kind to me. She’s so funny..” He started to chuckle. “She and I started to become close maybe a year ago but not until her and Lady Mary started to court did she confide in me…We spend each evening in the courtyard together…I love teasing her when we serve dinner together…she can be so silly….” He was smiling with memories.

Edith was taking this information in. “When did they? If you don’t mind me asking.” Edith took her hat off and placed it next to her purse. “I feel I knew some years ago.”

Thomas looked at her almost cautiously. “Well My Lady…I’ve watched them since Anna started…Lady Mary could never keep her eyes off her…” He leaned back. “I think I knew before Anna.”

Edith smiled into her lap and leaned forward to look at Anna. The state of her made Edith sick. “I knew about Mary when we were little. She constantly spoke about wanting to be a man so she could also look at pretty ladies…I mocked her of course…but never told our parents…and yes Mary has never been able to keep her eyes off Anna.” Edith placed a delicate hand next to Anna’s broken body. “Which is understandable…she is quite beautiful.” Edith looked at Barrow whose mouth was open.

“Oh Lady Edith…not you too.”

Edith smiled. “I’m not opposed to the idea of either to be honest.” She sat up straight with a highborn voice.

Thomas raised his eyebrows and looked back at Anna. “Who knew the Crawley sisters were so sinful.” He dared.

Edith laughed. “My father should know. Our mother is American. We out rank him anyways. He was never going to win this battle…He loves Mary the most aside from Sibyl…”

Thomas looked at her sternly. “My Lady…I’ve heard him speak of how much he loves you too.” Thomas said feeling very uncomfortable.

“Oh I know he does. I’m just very out of place most of the time.” She smiled at Thomas who understood.

“I understand that very much My Lady.” He turned his gaze back to Anna.

“Just call me Edith please…at least while here.” Edith asked.

Thomas nodded, noting that Anna was stirring slightly. Edith stood up straight, placing her hand back on Anna’s bed. “Anna…Thomas and I are here…Mary will be back soon…” She said calmly.

Anna opened her eyes the best she could, seeing who was by her bedside. “My Lady…”

“Don’t with all that now…you’re safe, we are watching over you while Mary gets some rest.” Edith said assuringly.

Anna looked at Edith and then over at Thomas. “Thomas….” She whispered her vocal chords weak.

“You are a mess.” He pulled her hand in his. “ Whatever did you fall into?”

Anna laughed looking at her friend. “You know me…can’t do a thing to help myself…always making it worse…like falling in love with the eldest daughter…” Her eyes were struggling to stay open as she tried to sit up.

“Be careful not to fast.” Edith stood up and helped her sit up slightly.

Anna once again saw Lady Edith sitting by her. “ My Lady?”

Edith smiled knowingly. “My sister might be a horrible nightmare, but you are a beam of sunshine Anna and us sisters will watch over you so Mary can rest.” Edith said, pushing a pillow under her head so she could sit up more.

Thomas laughed and continued to hold Anna’s good hand. “You’re the only one to find Lady Mary kind, Anna.” One of their inside jokes.

Anna scoffed. “Oh…Mary is just…” She couldn’t find the words coming out of her haze.

“A monster at times? Yes.” Edith sat down smiling at Anna.

Anna laughed and then winced, pulling her hand from Thomas’s to her ribs. “Oh.”

“Would you like me to go and alert a nurse? For more pain medicine?’ Edith said.

Anna shook her head. “No, I'd like to be awake for a moment…thank you Lady Edith.”

“Anna…if we are to be family then you must call me Edith.” She said, still adjusting the pillow behind Anna’s head.

“If we are to be family…” She lolled her head to one side, the morphine still clearly holding her in a daze. “Mary calls me Anna Crawley…” Anna said with her eyes closed.

Thomas looked at Edith and they both grinned widely.

“Does she now?…well how ‘bout that? You inheriting some of the family's jewels as well then?’ Thomas teased, grasping her hand gently again. “Anna Crawley…my goodness what will his Lordship say?”

Edith found this unfunny. She found it as such an act of devotion and love she just sat back down in her seat and placed a hand on the back of Anna’s head gently. “I think it sounds lovely. Anna Crawley is a beautiful name…”

Thomas noticed Edith’s sentimental tone and harnessed her gaze.

“We can’t though…It’s just between us…” Anna said her eyes drooped in and out of sleep. “Oh I hurt so-”

Edith stood up and immediately found a nurse who gave her more morphine.

“This will put her out for a few hours…she won’t feel a thing…” The nurse said, smiling at them both.

“Thank you.” Edith said.

Her and Thomas sat in silence around Anna.

****

Mary was falling in and out of sleep much like Anna. She’d awake with fear and then fall back knowing she needed to rest so she could be there for her lover.

She finally stirred around noon wanting to go back to the hospital when her mother entered her bedroom and perched on her bed as Mary was waking up.

“Mama I-”

“Edith and Thomas are still with her…and your father is talking with the police…but let’s not worry about that just now.” Cora soothed her daughter and pressed the blanket over her lovingly.

Mary had fallen into her bed still in her clothes. “Mama…I cannot be without her…I love her.” Mary said, sitting up rubbing her eyes and stood from the bed and walked towards her wardrobe.

“Mary my dear I think we all know that now.”

Mary looked at her mother quickly. “Do you now? Me running off with her was not enough to persuade you to come to this conclusion?”

Cora stood and helped her daughter out of her clothes. “I think we did, however…this made us know more…your father will find the man who did this to Anna.” Mary was down to her corset when Cora grabbed a blue dress from the closet. “Oh? This isn’t? This must be one of Anna’s..”

Mary looked at it and started to cry slightly. “Yes…one of my old ones…she hemmed it to fit her as she is so small.”

Cora hung it up again and grabbed another dress sifting it through her hands. “Well this is one of yours then.” She dressed Mary.

“You know.”

Mary expected an interrogation and retaliated immediately. “ Mama, I don't want to hear it..”

Cora stilled her movements. “Mary.”

“Sorry.” She said still tired.

“I was going to say…you know… most of us and the staff…are not shocked at this.” She went to Mary’s front and laced up the dress. “I had a conversation with Ms.Hughes who was not surprised whatsoever.” She winked at her daughter. “I so love seeing you happy…” She sat her daughter down at the vanity and untangled her hair and started to brush it. “It doesn’t seem so wrong to me my darling…not now that I’ve seen you both together…and when Anna recovers she will have a dinner with us ... .one that she won’t be serving.” She kissed the top of her head and pulled it up into an elegant knot.

“Mama…thank you…” Is all Mary could muster. “Seeing her like that…” Mary was on the verge of tears again almost exhausted by them at this point. Unsure how she even had any left.

“I think you seeing her in that state was enough for me.” She finished Mary’s hair and she stood up.

“I’ll go and see her-”

“You need to eat something first and then you can.” Cora said. “Now. Let’s get you some food so you can go.” She opened her door and they went down.

***

Thomas and Edith sat in silence for some time watching Anna. Once the morphine took hold she had gone motionless. Edith placed her hand over Anna’s hair smiling and Thomas still held her hand in his.

After some time Edith looked up and caught Barrow’s eyes. “Anna Crawley, my sister is quite daring isn’t she.”

They started to laugh quietly.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from Lady Mary.” Thomas said. “I suppose it might be something they agreed on between them so I’d suggest discretion.”

“Oh I won’t say anything…I find it romantic honestly…loving someone so forbidden you want them to have you name…a highborn name nonetheless…Mary holds a lot of power…her love for Anna is-”

“Strong.” Thomas finished her sentence. “Her love for Anna is strong.”

They sat in more silence and heard the doors of the hospital open and footsteps walking towards the curtains.

Mary was there in a fresh outfit looking more rested. She looked at Barrow who held Anna’s hand and Edith who’s hand was on the back of Anna’s head.

“How is she?’ Is all she could manage.

“She woke up briefly. The nurse gave her more pain medication. She’s been out since then…she’s almost due for another…” Edith said standing up.

Mary nodded and Thomas stood up gesturing for her to sit where he had been and she instantly pulled Anna’s hand in hers.

“Thank you.” She pressed Anna’s hand to her face and closed her eyes before looking at them both. “Thank you Edith…Thomas…”

Edith bent down and grabbed her bag and hat and made her way out of the curtains.

Thomas gave her a slight nod and went to leave as well.

Mary looked at him, her eyes wide. “Thank you.”

Thomas had a flare of daring. “You’re not the only one who loves Anna.”

Mary turned to him again and looked sternly. “Barrow I must-”

“Anna loves your mean Mary face…thought I’d see if you still had it” He winked and smiled and left.

Mary found this disrespectful and then found it amusing. Anna had spoken about her mean Mary face to others…which meant she adored it.

She traced her fingers over Anna’s face softly barely touching her.

“My love…My darling Anna…” She whispered in her ear. “I’m here…I’m here.” She started to get more comfortable in the chair when Anna moved, turning towards her.

“Mary…”

Mary knelt towards her, kissing her face softly. “I’m here. I’m so sorry I had to leave.”

Anna groaned and tried to sit up. “Don’t let them give me more.”

Mary was starting to worry, helping Anna sit up “Give you more what my darling?”

“I want to be awake.”

Mary understood.

“Of course.” She picked up Anna’s hand and held it against her cheek. “However I don’t want you to be in pain my love.”

Anna opened her eyes. The swelling had gone down slightly in her face and she turned towards Mary. “I’ll manage it as long as I can…I just want to be with you…can you help me sit up.”

Mary stood up. “Let me find a nurse.” She left.

“Nurse? Would you help with this patient so she can sit up? She’s been sedated for some time.”

The nurse followed her and they together propped Anna up.

“Would you be able to drink some water?” The nurse fetched a small amount of water. .

Anna nodded. “Yes please, I am parched.”

The nurse held the cup of water and slowly let Anna drink. “Not too much or else you’ll make yourself ill.” She noted as Anna gulped the water quickly.

Anna exhaled. “Thank you.”

“I’ll have Dr. Clarkson in here soon now that you’re awake.” The nurse said, smiling at Mary.

Anna was looking at Mary with such longing. “Mary…”

Mary shook her head and stood over her caressing her face as lightly as she could. “ I think you might be able to return home…”

Anna shook her head. “How will your family see me now?” Her voice was still coarse.

“Whatever do you mean?” Mary asked.

“I am-”

Before she could finish the sentence Mary stopped her. “You are mine. You are my love and my Anna…I’m not sure if you remember but Edith and Barrow were here with you while I slept….I am sorry I left-”

“I remember.” Anna smiled. “Thomas can be so soft when he wants to be…much like you my love.” Anna smiled. “Your sister as well showed me much care.” Anna winced trying to sit up further. “Ugh. It seems as if every part of me is bruised.” She said in a very annoyed Mary way.

“You sounded like me just now.” Mary said.

“Did i? Well.” She further sounded like Mary trying to sit up as Mary helped her get more comfortable.

“Am I teaching you the mean Mary face?” Mary asked, her eyes glossing over.

Anna sighed in exhaustion. “I hope so…”

Clarkson entered her room. “Well you are well enough to sit up which is good.” He walked around the bed and pulled the bandage off her chest and pressed down on her ribs and Anna winced. “They’re not broken…just severely bruised…” He pulled the bandage off her face. “The stitches will have to come out in a few day’s time but scaring will still be-”

“That doesn’t matter, will it heal?” Mary said.

“Yes. It will heal however there will be a scar.” He said pulling the bandages off Anna's broken hand assessing it. He moved each finger and when he came to one Anna cried out as he spoke again. “Only one finger seems to be broken and the wrist sprained. Easily mended with rest and time.” He smiled at Anna. “I think tomorrow if you want you can convalescent at the Abbey as long as we have a nurse-”

“I can.” Mary said. “I can change her bandages…if I have problems we can summon a nurse…if you think that’s acceptable.” Mary was looking hopeful that Anna could come home.

Clarkson looked between them. Their eyes finding one another he understood fully. “Yes, that is acceptable. I can leave instructions…however she needs to stay here at least another night”

Mary nodded looking at Anna. “One more night then you can come home.” She sat down next to her again.

“My Lady.” He made his way through the curtains and left.

Anna looked at Mary with such longing it almost sent Mary into a spiral. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure of what?”

“That I should come back to the Abbey…I can recover here-”

Mary knelt forward and kissed her gently.

“You’ll be in my bed and I will care for you there.” Mary pressed her forehead against hers softly.

“Do you think I’ll still have a job after this-”

“You’ll have a job. You’ll also be with me…which in itself is a job not many would want.” Mary said in her dark tone caressing Anna’s long hair.

Anna started to cry. “I am no longer beautiful. I am spoiled and tarnished…my love-”

Mary shushed her. “You are beautiful. You have never not been beautiful to me…You will heal my darling…and we can start our lives again…I will make sure you're safe…”

Mary was fighting her own tears, her chest ached with what Anna was saying to her. “I will make sure you’re always safe my god Anna I am so sorry.” She sobbed and pressed her head down on the bed next to Anna’s. “I promise…I failed you…I promised and now…”Mary was beside herself and was crying so hard Anna turned her face to Mary’s.

“Mary Crawley.” She said.

Mary’s face was so red and puffy from the amount of tears she had shed Anna’s heart panged for her.

“This was not your fault…” Anna said, pressing a kiss to her face for the first time. “Mary my love..” She kissed her again.

Mary looked at her- evening sunlight from the window shining on her damp face. Her eyes Anna’s favorite amber color.

“Oh my…” Anna said.

Mary shook her head. “Oh my?”

Anna held the back of her hand against Mary’s face. “Oh my you are so beautiful…I am still struck by it at times.”

This made Mary laugh. “Oh and what about this makes me beautiful…that I’ve let you down…failed you…”

Anna moved over and gestured to Mary to sit on the bed next to her. “Lay next to me please.”

Mary was hesitant.

“You said whenever I wanted to be held by you I’d just need to ask.” Anna scolded her.

Mary stood up and sat next to her and placed her feet alongside her body and wrapped Anna in her arms gently.

Anna laid against her sighing. “I was in such a daze at one point I was not here but in your bed. I could even smell your lavender hair.” Anna smelled Mary’s hair and exhaled. “Yes that.”

Mary smiled into Anna’s face. “My love I don’t want to hurt you…I don’t know…where to touch you without hurting you…”

“You could never hurt me…only if you leave me…”

Mary sighed into Anna. “I will never leave you… you’re the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on my darling, you are the love of my life.” She kissed the top of her head

Anna kissed her neck. “Have…were you lying with me before? Did anyone see us?” Anna asked, recalling her morphine dreams.

“I was up here holding you…you asked me to hold you and I promised to hold you whenever you asked and I always keep my promises.” Mary said in her haughty voice.

Anna laughed. “I can only imagine the nurses' faces seeing us like this.”

“And Clarkson…”

Anna looked at her. “Oh no…”

Mary moved some blonde strands off of Anna’s face and kissed her again.

They laid in silence for some time with Mary intermittently pressing her lips to Anna's head.

“I think I told your sister and Thomas you call me Anna Crawley…” Anna said in a confused voice.

Mary was taken aback by this.

“Oh well…I hope my dear sister can keep that to herself…do you recall what they said? I know you were heavily sedated…” Mary traced her long fingers down Anna’s arm barely touching her.

Anna thought. “I think your sister…I think Lady Edith said… you must love me a lot…or something…and Thomas teased me. I thought for some time you were there with me…I woke and then you weren’t and you were still in my mind.”

Mary held her closer gently, “Oh my love I never wanted to leave however I had to…and…that’s high praise from Edith…” Mary said scoffing.

“Mary, your sister loves you.” Anna reprimanded her.

“Yes…alright…you really are the only one to tell me off aren’t you?” Mary said, annoyed.

Anna smiled into her neck starting to fall into sleep again. “Don’t leave me…I'll awake again soon…I just need to-”

Mary kissed her head and held her closer. “I won’t leave you my darling you’ll be here in my arms when you awake I promise.”

Anna fell asleep, her body slumping easing its tension and Mary held her smiling into her hair kissing her softly.

“I’ll be here when you awake.”

Chapter Text

Mary slept lightly watching Anna’s breathing. Only shutting her eyes when she knew Anna wasn’t needing anything. She was worried that she would be in pain since she had not been given any more medicine. She was worried Anna wouldn’t come home with her. Was her greatest fear. That what happened would cause her to suade her feelings for Mary and she’d run off thinking she didn’t want her anymore.

Clarkson opened the curtain and looked at them both smiling politely gesturing Mary off the bed which she did without an ounce of embarrassment.

“You must show me how to apply her bandages so I can do so when we are home.” Mary said. Her height definitely played a good part in her demeanor when she demanded things. Most men were not as tall as she was. “Are you changing them now?” She looked at the doctor.

He smiled and nodded. “Yes. She must also have her hand put in a stint while she is recovering…not this one but one that is more mobile.” He summoned a nurse into the room.

“Lady Mary wishes to be shown how to dress Anna’s wounds so she can do so back at the Abbey.”

The nurse didn’t look confused but looked kindly at Mary. “Of course My Lady…”

Clarkson left with a polite nod.

“Now, this must be applied to the wound on her face to help it heal and not gain infection.” She pulled the bandage off of Anna’s face.

It was still very jarring to see, but Mary held her resolve.

“Once it is applied the bandage will stay nicely.” She put a new cloth over the stitches. “With her chest I don’t believe she’ll need it when she leaves as the Doctor said her ribs are not broken, however if she does feel she needs it, it goes under and you can clasp it tightly like so-” She held a copper hook that held the two ends together. “With her hand you must be extra careful. If the finger does not set right it won’t heal properly.”

Mary was taking this in cataloging it in her mind. “Will she be able to use that hand as she did before?’ Thinking it might hinder her ability to work.

The nurse shook her head. “It will heal, however fingers are fickle. It depends on the bones and how they want to set. It might not move the same way as before. Her hand must be in this for three weeks…It will get easier for her but until she can wiggle it without pain I’d suggest she not.” The nurse then folden the blanket down and addressed the bruising on her legs. “A cold cloth on her bruises will help the pain…ice if you have it ... .and as for…” The nurse nodded down. “As for the pelvis bruising nothing but time…as she is on her cycle that is a good sign however we’ll have her back for another exam in two weeks time.” She pulled the sheet up over Anna and set her broken hand on the top as well as the other. “Do you understand My Lady?”

Mary's eyes were wide with concern. “Yes…yes I understand. Thank you.” She said.

“When she wakes we can discharge her…do you have transportation for her?”

Mary shook her head with annoyance. “Of course.”

“I shall let Doctor Clarkson know…would you like us to call for you?”

“Yes. Send a word please. I'll stay with her. I’ll wake her up enough to travel.”

“Yes My Lady.” the nurse left.

Mary had not realized the time had come for Anna to be moved. She had drifted in and out of sleep with Anna; time had not seemed to matter.

Mary placed her hand on Anna’s shoulder. “My love…we can go home now.”

Anna stirred but still did not open her eyes.

“Anna…darling… we can go home.” She knelt down and kissed her lips quickly trying to wake her up.

Anna opened her eyes with a struggle. One of her eyes was still black and blue and swollen slightly.

“Mary…”

“Let’s go home…The motor is being brought for us and you can soon be in my bed and I will take care of you until you are well.” Mary held her hand tightly. “Now let’s sit up.”

She helped Anna sit up holding her tightly and lifted her feet over the bed. “I’m going to put this gown over you and then your coat…don’t worry about anything else…”

She picked up a plain hospital gown and placed it over Anna noting that some of her toes were also bruised which inspired a new source of anger.

“Oh this drug they have given me is strong. Mary I am not fully awake…”Anna commented as Mary placed socks on her feet and then put some flat shoes on that the hospital had provided. “I feel like I’m trying to pry myself from death.”

Mary looked up at her sternly at the word death as she placed the other shoe on her foot and stood up holding Anna steady. “I have you…death does not nor will it ever….do not say that to me again.” in her mean voice.

Anna sighed laughing slightly. “You’ll be…giving me your mean Mary voice now…” Anna stood up fully. “Lead me out but don’t let me go please I’ll topple over.”

Mary held onto her as safely and tightly as she could. “I won’t.” She answered, leading them out of the curtain and to the door.

Clarkson was there and went to the other side of Anna for support if she needed it. “Mary we have given supplies to your driver for her wounds…if you have any difficulties just send word-”

“I will thank you, Doctor Clarkson.”

Tom was there and took Mary’s place holding Anna up much better than she could and helped her into the motor as gently as he could. “Anna, can you lift your leg…that’s it ….. I’ve got it from here, try and sit up.” He placed her in the backseat and went to the other side to open the door for Mary and then jumped quickly back into the driver's seat.

Anna was fully awake at this point looking out the window with a look Mary hadn’t seen before.

“My darling…” Mary held her broken hand in her lap as to help it not be jostled around in the car. Setting it on her lap.

“Tom?’ Anna said

“Anna?” He looked in the mirror and Anna noticed that he had a slight bruise on his face.

“Thank you.” She whispered just enough for him to hear.

“Anna…I’m just sorry I wasn’t there sooner…you hadn’t returned and I assumed you were still shopping…” He turned the car up towards the long driveway to the Abbey. “You’ll make a full recovery, that is what Lady Sibyl has told me and I am grateful for that.”

Anna pursed her lips and when she noticed Mary trying to gain her eye contact she avoided her gaze.

“Anna?’ Mary said.

“Just help me to our bed please.” She said and Mary noted that some tears were running down her face and she reached over to brush them off and Anna stopped her.

Mary became angry. “Anna Mae Crawley.” She said which harnessed Anna’s gaze finally. Mary seemed genuinely upset.

Tom avoided both of their gazes trying his best to stay out of it and pulled up to the house.

Cora, Sibyl, and Edith were waiting for them and also Thomas who was most eager to help Anna.

The motor stopped and he was at the door. “Anna I’ve got you…come on now.” He helped Anna out and held tightly to her as Mary left the opposite door.

Cora rushed forward and helped Anna on her other side as Sibyl reached Mary.

“We are happy to have you both back again.”

“How is she healing?” Edith asked.

Mary was more upset about Anna’s words. “She’s been assaulted. Her body is broken.” Mary said to Edith in an evil voice.

Edith heard her tone and was so offended she placed a hand on Mary to stop her from following Thomas and Anna.

“Why must you be so vile?”

Mary stilled. She honestly didn’t know why she was so mean. “I am sorry…I”m not sure…”

“You are very unworthy of that sweet girls love.” Edith left and Sibyl was at Mary’s side.

They walked into the foyer. Anna was having difficulty walking up the stairs and Thomas propped her up further. “Not to worry…you’re smaller than a sack of potatoes…I’ve got you…we'll take it one step at a time.”

“Why must you be so horrid, Mary?” Sibyl asked genuinely looking towards her sister.

“My nature I suppose…Edith is correct however…I am unworthy of Anna’s love…for some reason she does though….I’ll apologize properly to Edith later”

Mary closed her eyes and put her face in her hands.

Cora came forward and hugged her. “So you’ll be taking care of her while she is healing?”

Mary nodded.

“Well then.” She nodded her head gesturing to follow Thomas. “I’ll have the bag Clarkson packed brought up to your room.” She left.

“Mary…you’re not unworthy…I think Anna might be the only one keeping you from the brink sometimes. Learn from it.” Sibyl left with a disappointed look.

Mary was left with a sinking feeling in her gut. She truly didn’t understand how someone as full of light as Anna could fall for her. She was truly diabolical at times and she never understood why. This was something she’d have to discuss with Anna when she was well.

Thomas had helped Anna to the top of the long stairs and Mary followed quickly to catch up and opened her bedroom door.

“I think you should carry me from now on, Thomas. Make those long stairs easier and I can tease you.” Anna said, sounding more like herself.

“Yes I’ll be your personal chauffeur around the Abbey… Lady Anna.” He laughed.

“Oh don’t call me that I’d smack you if I had the energy.”

Mary watched them banter smiling towards the floor not wanting to interrupt.

“You can next time we share a smoke in the courtyard.”

At this Mary looked up. “Anna you smoke?”

Thomas was helping Anna into the bed when he and Anna looked at Mary trying not to giggle.

“Not often, Mary. Just when I’m badly influenced by a footman…and not knowing what to do with my feelings for one of the highborn daughters of my bosses.”

This made Mary smile. “Well then…let’s get you well enough to be a scoundrel I suppose.” She took her coat off and Thomas grabbed it for her and hung it in the wardrobe.

“My Lady if you need…any help…please ask.” Thomas said in earnest and walked over to Anna. “And you- I know you don’t like staying still…I’ll bring you the papers and the puzzles for you to do…but rest as much as you can so I can have my best friend back.” He gave her a pat on her forehead. “That’s an order.” and Anna made to swat his hand away smiling.

Anna smiled widely that Mary adored where her eyes squinted. “Off with you go do your job…” Anna pushed Thomas gently away with her good hand.

“My Lady.” He bowed to her teasingly and then looked seriously at Mary. “My Lady.”

Mary rolled her eyes and shooed him from the room.

When the door shut she finally felt like she could breathe for the first time in days. “He is a silly one that Thomas.” She went over to Anna. “Let me put you in something more comfortable.”

Anna sat on the edge of the bed sighing in exhaustion. “Oh that was so tiring. I hope to not feel this tired when I start work again.”

“Which wont be for some time…I’ll be taking care of you until you are well enough to do so.” Mary found one of the nightgowns Anna had worn before. “Now. Let’s get you into this.” She unbuttoned the coat and very carefully pulled Anna’s wounded hand through the sleeve noting her face was grimacing. “I’m sorry my love…” She then grabbed some garments and napkins. “Since you’re on your cycle…oh I am so sorry you have that as well…” She peeled the hospital gown off of her and pulled them on her and then knelt down to take her socks off carefully knowing she had bruises on her feet as well.

“I do feel blessed by falling for a woman. Makes these times much less awkward.” Anna sighed out.

“Men are useless.” Mary said, rolling her eyes. “Now lift up your arms the best you can and I’ll place this over you and get you into bed. Clarkson did give me medicine you can swallow…aspirin if you need it. Not the kind they gave you at the hospital my goodness that was strong you were out for the count my darling.” Anna lifted her arms the best she could and felt the soft fabric cover her.

“Oh this is one of your nicer ones my dear you should be-”

“Whatever I have to give you, then you shall have. Now. Lay back.” Mary pulled the bedding down and then up over Anna. “I’m going to fetch you some water but I’ll be back in a-”

“Don’t leave me.” Anna said, her eyes wide with fear suddenly. “Please.”

Mary understood. “You need water…I’ll be back very soon…I can-”

“Mary, please stay with me.” Anna was on the verge of begging.

“Okay.” She got up and pulled the bell for a servant. “I won't leave.” She gathered the discarded clothes and put them on an ottoman near the wardrobe for the maid to take away. “I’m here.”

Anna relaxed more. “Thank you, Mary….I am sorry…I just don’t want to be away from you just yet.”

“And then you won't be. Whatever you say I shall abide.” Mary leaned forward and kissed her lips gently and Anna deepened the kiss slightly before wincing.

“Anna I have to treat you as if you’re fragile at the moment…you must heal…” Mary caressed the bedding along her when they heard a knock at the door and it was Gwen.

She instantly went to Anna.

“Oh Anna…” Her eyes also looked bloodshot as if she had been crying a sleepless few nights. “When I heard I didn't know what I should do…I could barely dress the girls. I think Lady Edith almost had to manage on her own.” Gwen looked at Mary. “That is to say…Oh I am sorry Lady Mary…I just-”

“I’m sure my sister could handle it on her own, Gwen.” Mary said, almost sneering.

“Mary.” Anna warned her. “No.”

Mary stood up from the bed and allowed Gwen to sit next to her friend.

“Anna likes to keep me in line with my orneriness, Gwen I apologize.” She clasped her hands in front of her. “I called you for some water for Anna, however, my love, since Gwen is here, can I go and fetch it for you so you can have some time with her?”

Anna smiled at how tender Mary could be through the veil of her mask she insisted on having on. “I suppose so…just come back quickly please.”

Mary nodded and left the room and walked to the servants door and down the stairs to the kitchen noting that the servants she passed moved to the side so she could pass. She always revered the power her position had however now that she had Anna she wanted to try and lessen her ego. She found Daisy who looked shocked at seeing her but couldn’t help but ask.

“My Lady…How is Anna?”

“She is home and mending and it will be some time before she is able to return to her work…I only came down for a craft of water and something that might be easy for her to eat.”

“I have some soup I can have William bring up and-”

“No need I can manage, I’ll wait.”

Mary could tell the staff was looking at her and she couldn’t help but look at one of the hallboys who was gawking. “If you have something to say please do so to my face, boy.” She drawled looking at him as he shook his head and scattered off. Then she saw Ms. Hughes talking to Carson.

“I’ll be back…prepare a tray and I’ll bring it up.” She ordered Daisy before saying, “Please.”

Daisy was already working on it and smiled awkwardly.

Mary walked towards them both instantly harnessing their attention.

“Ms. Hughes…Carson…” She said with an air of anger when she said Carson’s name. “If either of you’d like to speak to me I suggest you do it now. I’m bringing Anna some sustenance.”

“My Lady I have nothing to say except I am glad you and Anna are home…Carson?” She looked at him, who was becoming more flustered by the moment. “Might you and Lady Mary have a quick talk together…I’ll see to the kitchens…” Ms. Hughes grabbed Mary’s arm lightly and smiled. “My Lady.” and sauntered off towards the kitchens.

“My Lady…” Carson gestured towards Ms.Hughes office and shut the door behind them and pulled the chair out for Mary to sit.

Mary and him looked at one another for a few moments before she broke the silence. “I know you are disgusted by me and I won't have that. I must have you know that I have fallen for someone kind and good and that is enough for me. If you can’t look at me the same ever again then that is on you, however, I do not want it to be that way.” Mary finished holding her head high. Her highborn accent prevalent.

Carson heard her and his eyes softened. “Be disgusted by you? Not speak to you? My Lady I could never.” He looked away, not being able to make eye contact with her. “I don’t understand it…you’ve had such grand suitors…”

“They are not whom I desire. I want to be with Anna.” Mary said as a finality. “And if you detest me for this then…I’ll have to live with that…however…You mean quite a lot to me, Carson.”

He nodded. “My Lady…I-”

“If I mean anything to you, your blessing of any sort will be enough for me, but I will be with Anna regardless.”

Carson finally looked at her fully. “My Lady. I will…” His eyes were glossy and he was fidgeting with his hands looking off trying to find his words. “Mary…” He said looking up not using her title. “There is nothing you could do…that could harness any semblance of hatred….if you love Anna then I will simply have to adjust.” He looked up at her and smiled.

Mary lost her high demeanor and sighed out with a soft cry. “Oh Carson.” She stood up as he did the same and she rushed forward and hugged him as he held her. “There there My Lady…I could never detest you…” Carson patted her back lightly, smiling with his chin resting on top of her head.

“Oh Carson…thank you…If I am to be honest…you were the one I was the most worried about.. Even above Papa…” Mary pulled back, wiping the tears from her face. “Thank you.” She said once again and Carson nodded, squeezing her hand tightly.

“Anna will always have a position at Downton as long as she wants…Anna is…a precious person.” He said fondly.

Mary smiled and laughed trying to stifle her tears. Anna sure had made her soft. “Well…she is very precious…to many and mostly to me… I love her.” Mary looked at him smiling. “Now. I need to bring her some water and dinner…” Mary left and Carson nodded politely, smiling to himself happy that they had spoken.

Mary went into the kitchen and Daisy had a tray readied with a bowl of soup and also a pitcher of water. “My Lady, I think William should bring it up to keep it steady.” Daisy said nervously. Mary agreed.

“I think you’re right, Daisy. Thank you.” She looked to William who picked up the tray and made his way up the stairs with Mary following. Reaching the top of the stairs she looked behind her, out of curiosity, and several servants were standing at the bottom of the steps smiling, but then quickly looked away when they noticed her gaze. Oh I must be truly horrifying. Mary thought.

William led the way down the long hallway when he decided to say something to Mary. “We all love Anna downstairs. It’s nice to see her happy. She is delightful for everyone else but never allowed herself the same joy. It’s nice to see.”

Mary frowned at this. “She never allowed herself the same joy?”
William looked flustered at even speaking to her. “My Lady that is to say…she makes everyone a priority…save herself…I am sorry I shouldn’t have spoken so boldly.” He held the tray steadily with one hand and knocked on the door before entering.

Mary still stood in the hallway with even more determination to give Anna whatever she desired. The words William had said made her heart drop that Anna was so giving and did not seem to care for herself. She wondered where this stemmed from? She would have to ask her. She had to ask her so many things. She wanted to know everything about her.

Mary followed William and stood by the door watching the three of them interact. Gwen and Anna were giggling together and when William approached to place the tray on her lap Gwen stood up and William must have said something to make Anna smile, the one that was Mary’s favorite. She should plan an outing for the servants with Anna once she was well enough to do so…maybe she would let them go without her…Anna brought joy wherever she went Mary felt so unworthy of her love. She once again felt that pit in her stomach that told her she was unworthy of Anna’s love…she felt she wasn’t either…she didn’t need her sisters to tell her either.

“Mary…thank you…thank you for having William bring it up you shouldn’t have to yourself.” Anna said smiling as Gwen poured her a glass of water handing it to Anna.

Mary couldn’t say anything as she watched the three of them conversate and laugh. She was so out of touch when it came to anything Anna had experienced. Maybe she should mirror Anna for a day as she did her job Or would they get too distracted she thought naughtily.

“I’ll leave you to rest Anna… Come on you, let's get back.” Gwen nudged William. “If you need anything or help My Lady please ask…and as for you-” She turned towards Anna. “Rest up. I know you hate being still but I’ll have Ms. Hughes box your ears if you decide otherwise.” Gwen teased.

“If you don’t get better I’ll do the same.” Williams said.

“Oh you don’t have a mean bone in your body let’s go. Thank you My Lady.” Gwen nodded towards Mary as did William but before they left Mary turned towards them.

“Would you mind bringing some cold water up with some cloth…if Ms.Patmore has ice please make the water as cold as possible.”

“Of course.” William said and they left.

Anna looked at Mary quizzically. “Mary, what's wrong?’ She took a sip of water and sat it on the bedside table before trying to conquer the task of eating. “Oh I’m glad Daisy sent up something liquid…I’m not sure I could handle anything otherwise.”

Mary finally pulled herself from her thoughts and sat delicately on the edge of the bed next to Anna. “Do you need any help my love?”

Anna shook her head. “No My Lady…but thank you.” Anna realized she had fallen back into her service voice. “I’m sorry…that was…”

“Anna…” Mary leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. “Try and eat something please darling.” She smiled and sat up and pulled one of the armchairs that was next to the windows over across the room so she could sit next to Anna. “Whew. I hope when I help you with chores I’m not as weak.” She straightened her dress in her lap.

Anna raised her eyebrows. “Come again?”

“Oh I plan on helping you with your work one day… or several…so I know what it’s like…however I might get distracted by my coworker…” She winked at Anna. “Eat something please at least a few sips my darling.”

Anna decided to leave that discussion for another time and looked at her sternly before trying to finish her soup and when she did the best she could she leaned back. “I think that’s all I have in me.”

Mary picked up the tray and sat it down on the table. “Now have some more water…just a bit if you can.”

Anna obliged and then slumped back into the pillows when Gwen came in with a wash bin of water and ice and a few rags.

“Do you need help, My Lady?” Gwen asked politely.

“No thank you I can manage.” Her voice was ornery once again.

Gwen now knew to not take her tone so personally however Mary looked back at her as she was leaving. “No…thank you Gwen for bringing this up.” She said as softly as she could. Gwen smiled.

“My Lady.” She backed out of the room looking at Anna and then shut the door.

Mary looked suddenly so distraught. “May I?” She wrung a cold cloth out gesturing to Anna’s bruises. “The nurse said this would help with swelling and the pain.”

Anna nodded trying to understand Mary’s emotions.

Mary lifted up the blanket and pressed one of the ice cold rags across a large bruise delicately not saying anything. Her thoughts clearly not present.
“Mary.” Anna said sternly. “What is it.” It wasn’t a question.

Mary looked up at her grabbing another cold cloth from the bowl to place over Anna’s hand which made Anna sigh in relief. “I feel…It’s not the time to discuss it.” Mary laid another ice cloth over her torso which once again made Anna sigh.

“Oh that does feel nice ... .thank you, my love.” However she wasn’t relenting on finding out why Mary was acting the way she was. “Mary…” Mary still didn’t look up at her.

“Mary Josephine Crawley you will look at me and tell me what has you in this state or I will leave your bed and not come back.”

This threat finally made her look up at her eyes wild with fear and anger. “You wouldn’t dare do that to me.” Her eyes dark. Her voice dark. “You would never hurt me like that.”

Anna sat up fully with a grimace and cry of pain.

“Anna!” Mary went to stop her.

“Don’t Anna me…now you tell me what is the matter right now.” Anna said, almost shouting at her.

Mary couldn’t help but smile. “You’ve learned that from me…don’t keep it…you’re too sweet to sound so evil my love…” Mary pressed her hands against the cold rag on her thigh gently. “Oh Alright…just give me a moment to find the words…don’t go limping off away from me and break my heart now that I’ve got you back.” Mary once again sounded angry. Her infliction was weaving back and forth from kind to anger.

“Well I’m not sure why you are-”

“I love you.” Mary said simply. “I love you and…William said…you bring everyone joy but yourself and I am angered by it, Anna. I am distraught by it. However could…how could you find joy in someone like me and this is not the place or time for me to feel sorry for myself but per my usual actions I make it about myself and this is not about me however I don’t see how you could possibly find someone as awfully cruel as myself your-”

“Stop!” Anna shouted. “Stop your words this moment Mary Crawley…if you continue I WILL leave.” Anna looked angrier than Mary had ever seen her. “Now what happened for you to act this way towards me. Have you not declared me yours? I am yours, Mary! You have given me your family's name! I am your Anna Crawley. Now you will tell me this instant what happened!” Anna was shouting.

Mary started to tear up. “And now I’ve gone and upset my betrothed…I am truly a monster…” She cried and leaned into the bed next to Anna who suddenly was understanding.

“You think you are a monster? From what?” She placed her good hand over Mary’s hair. “What has caused this Mary?!”

Mary pressed her face into the blankets that now smelled like Anna. “Me…my darling I am some evil villain and you are a ray of sunshine however can you love me is beyond my understanding as you are the only one who does.” Mary sat up looking into Anna’s eyes.

Anna put her hand on Mary’s cheek and started to laugh.

“What is funny? Me?” Mary laughed too.

“But you are my evil villain.”

This made both of them chuckle.

“Oh Mary please hold me…” Anna asked, slumping back into the pillows exhausted. “I demand it.”

Mary stood up and went to the opposite side of the bed taking her shoes off and slid under the blankets and inched towards Anna. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“The only way you can hurt me is saying anything like that again…my goodness…” Anna nestled into Mary's arms holding her injured hand up and then onto Mary’s chest “You are dramatic…evil villain…whatever made you think you were evil?”

Mary sighed at having Anna in her arms again. “I think the only time I feel not like one is when you are here in my arms…maybe that is why I told you any time you want to you can be…so I won’t be so mean.”

Anna giggled. “Oh but I do love my mean Mary…who were you mean to?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Oh who am I not mean to.”

This made Anna laugh so much she had to stop because it hurt her chest. “Mary my love…there is nothing in this world that would make me not fall deeper in love with you and you must stop this nonsense…what was it that made you think this way?” Anna nuzzled Mary’s neck and hummed. “You are just my Mary to me.”

Mary’s entire body relaxed as it always did when she was holding Anna. “Oh I said some words to Edith when we arrived…and the staff is terrified of me…and…it’s like some natural stature I fall into when I’m uncomfortable. I’m not sure why. I really think you’re the only one to find the soft parts of me.” Mary was leaning her head softly into Anna’s. “That’s probably why I fell for you in the first place…you always told me off for being ornery…and I adore it.”

Anna kissed the side of her face. “You must be nicer to your sister…she does love you…I’m not sure why you both are so opposed…as for the staff…I think you’re the kindest to them aside from Sibyl and Lady Grantham.”

“You must start calling her Cora…”

“Oh that won’t happen for some time, Mary. Remember it took some time for me to even call you Mary.”

“And it’s now my favorite sound…aside from the other one…when you call me Mary…tell me your name again…” Mary was smiling into Anna’s hair.

“Oh my name now? Oh I cannot recall it…you must remind me of what it is?” She teased.

She could feel Mary roll her eyes.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me, tell me what my name is.”

The sun had fully set at this point and the room was becoming darker. The last of the sunlight leaving the windows.

Mary sat up and laid Anna’s head gently back on the pillow and looked at her fully. Her face bruised her body bruised.

“You are the love of my life. You are mine. You are my Anna Mae Crawley.” Mary whispered. “And I shall do whatever I can to give you whatever you desire…to make you safe…for you to want to love me forever…”

Anna kissed her. “To love you forever? You don’t need to do anything for that, Mary. I’ll love you until my dying days. I’ll love you forever. I have memorized your face so I can recall it when I need…when…” Anna started to cry. “When…when I was being…” She cried harder and Mary held her as tightly as she could. “The last thing I saw in my mind before losing consciousness was your amber eyes, my love… when the sunlight is drifting across your face when you’re smiling…”

Mary started crying as well into Anna’s hair and they both were lost in their emotions. Anna wanted to grab closer to Mary but was restricted from her injured hand.

“My darling…” Mary kissed the top of her head gently and sighed. “You’re in my arms now and I won’t ever let anyone hurt you again. I won’t let anyone hurt you again…” Mary’s evil voice was once again taking precedence.

“There it is.” Anna said, trying to stop her sobs.

“There is what?”

“Evil Mary…I love her so…my protector…” Anna kissed Mary’s shoulder and Mary pulled her in tightly as she could without hurting her.

“He won’t get away with this and I will have him hurt for this Anna I fucking promise you.” Mary said with such malice Anna could feel the heat and rage radiate off of her.

“Mary let it go-”

“I won't! Nobody does this to the love of my life and gets away with it. I have power and I will use it as I like…” Mary's face was scrunched up in anger and Anna placed her injured hand with the stint around her finger on her.

“Mary my love…ready for bed…and come sleep please…” Anna was getting sleepy. “Could I also have an aspirin please.”

Mary sat up instantly and went to the bag Clarkson had made for her and brought the medicine to her and poured her a glass of water.

“I will my love but I need to speak with my father first.” Her rage was still prevalent.

“Mary I said leave it.” Anna said before swallowing the medicine and leaning back into the bed.

“Rest my dear…I’ll be back soon.” and with that Mary left closing the door and with her eyes dark with anger she went down the stairs to find her father.

She found her father walking out of the library.

“Have you talked to the police? If you have, I will be made aware of it from now on.” Mary’s tone was dark; she was fully embracing her evil side the best as she could.

Robert looked at her with a worried look. “Mary I can take care of-”

“When you find him you will tell me.” Mary grabbed her fathers arm tightly, startling him. “You will involve me in this. I must know who he is when he is found.” She sounded murderous.

Robert grabbed her hand gently. “My dear…whomever hurt Anna will be found…Tom gave his recollection of what happened to the police and they seemed certain they would find him ... .Mary…I am..”

“Don’t feel sorry for her now, Papa. When mere days ago you hated her.” Mary spat venom.

“Now that is not true!” He started to raise his voice. “I only was-”

“Do NOT raise your voice to me when my…when Anna has been…you have no right at this point. You will do this for me and only that ONLY that will make me even respect you again for striking me, father.” Mary’s face was so vengeful Robet was taken aback.

“Mary, you cannot speak to me!-”

Mary slapped him hard across the face. “The only way I will love you again is if you find this man and put him behind bars!” Mary was crying with anger. “Do you understand me?”

Robert was so startled he simply shook his head.

“Good. Now I’ll go and attend to Anna’s injuries which are extensive…something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”

Mary’s eyes shot daggers at him before walking back up the stairs towards her room.

She opened the door as quietly as she could and saw that Anna had nodded off.

She pulled her dress off, the one that her mother had helped her into, and tossed it onto the floor as well as her corset she tore off. She found a gown for her to wear and gently slipped into the bed to hold Anna who instantly folded into her arms.

“Yes my darling. My arms were solely made to hold you.” She kissed her and stayed with her like that until she herself started to fall asleep.

“Mary my love…” Anna said after some time when Mary was about to fall asleep.

“Yes darling, what do you need?” She sat up.

“Don’t worry…don’t do anything…I’m safe now…” She mumbled.

Mary had no intention of doing anything Anna had just said and instead lied. “Of course my love.”

They fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Lord Grantham had spoken to the chief of police and his lawyer and they had found the man quite quickly who had assaulted the maid.

“He is in custody?”

Murray nodded. “Yes and he is sentenced. Without trial. Thanks to you.”

Robert took this in hoping it would help him gain his daughter's grace back. “Thank you.”

“Anna is not the first one to have been…well…by him…” The lawyer said with a grimace. “But he is behind bars so the maid shant worry about him again.”

“Thank you again…I will relay the message to my daughter and to Anna…” Robert said somewhat hesitantly.

“My Lord.” Murray stood up and left the parlor.

Robert paced back and forth wondering if this would help his eldest love him again. He hoped that it would as he knew that his actions had caused the dear maid to be assaulted in the first place. All of these events were not secluded to one moment. If they hadn’t left…If Mary and her maid…if Mary and Anna had stayed… she wouldn’t be in the state she was in…

“Robert?” Cora found her husband in the library. “Have you learned anything?”

Robert sighed. “Yes. The man is behind bars. Apparently this isn’t the first incident. Unfortunately for the other women they don't have someone like our daughter taking care of them I’m sure however for now it’s good to know he is not a threat.” He finished and sat down on the red sofa with his head in his hands.

Cora looked down at him before kneeling in front of him. “I think when Anna is well enough we should invite her to dinner again…Mary might-”

“Mary despises me and I don’t blame her.” Robert stood up and looked away from his wife.“Mary despises me and there is nothing I can do to gain her heart back, Cora.” He was on the verge of tears and regained his resolve. “I must speak to Anna at some point.”

Cora was shocked by this. “Speak to Anna? What would you say to her?”

“Apologize. I think that would be the only way I’d ever be in Mary’s good grace again.”

Cora nodded. “Shall I ask Mary today?”

Robert considered this. “I don’t think she is able to walk is she?”

“She can walk. Mary and Thomas can help her if needed. I think it should happen sooner rather than later.”

Robert agreed. “Would you…would you..”

“Yes, I'll go and ask.”

*****

Mary woke up to the morning light streaming in and instantly looked at Anna noting that she was still asleep. She caressed her face and kissed her hair delicately taking a deep breath of the scent.

“Mary…” Anna mumbled. “What time is it?”

“Don’t worry about that…I can bring you whatever you need darling.” Mary said softly.

“I am hungry…maybe some toast…I’d love to get up today…I feel I’ve been sedated for years and my legs no longer work.” Anna leaned back, sitting herself up.

“If that is what you want then so it shall be.” Mary smiled at her. “I’ll go and fetch you something to eat. Toast you said? Do you think you could stomach that?”

Anna smiled at her. “Yes I think so…my you’re quite the nurse…you don’t have to-”

“I will do whatever you ask of me darling…forever and all time.”

Mary got up out of the bed with a quick kiss to Anna’s cheek and started to dress herself in something simple.

“Oh I wish you’d let me help you.”

Mary pulled the corset over herself and tied it without assistance. “You see…someone showed me how to do this on my own and I’ve wanted to try it and now seems the perfect time…besides I’ll have to see my family at some point…I’ll be back my love you rest please.” Mary buttoned up her dress and pulled her hair back in a simple braid and made her way to the side of the bed. “I won't be gone long. Can I get you anything before I go?”

Anna smiled. “Just to come back to me.”

Mary smiled her wide smile that made her eyes crinkle. “You don't have to worry about that.”

With that she left and went to the servers entrance and into the kitchen which seemed to become more normal for the staff to see her at. They no longer looked confused but just nodded at her as she moved past them.

Gwen saw her as she entered the servants hall and they all stood up.

“Don’t mind me- I’m only looking to bring some tea and maybe some toast up to Anna.” She looked at them as kindly as she could.

“I can do that M’Lady.” William stood up and went into the kitchen.

“Thank you, William.” Mary stood there awkwardly when Ms. Hughes entered.

“My Lady. Is there?-”

“No need Ms. Hughes. William is just finding some breakfast for Anna.” Mary smiled at her.

“Oh well My Lady you could have rang for that-”

“May we speak privately for a moment?” Mary asked politely as she could, trying to retain some of the sunshine Anna gave her.

“Of course.”

Ms. Hughes led her to her office and closed the door gesturing for Mary to sit down opposite her.

“It’s just that…when Anna is well enough…I’d like to…” Mary was stammering with embarrassment and nerves. “I’d like to maybe…shadow…her for a day or two…just to gather the measure of labour the staff does…I know its unorthodox but…in order for me to truly understand how to run an estate I’d like to know first hand how…how its-” She couldn’t finish the sentence and looked at her lap.

Ms.Hughes was beside herself with shock. “Well My Lady…I’m not sure those tasks are proper for someone of your stature…”

Mary looked up at her. “ My status does not matter…Matthew has interest in me helping him run the estate and I feel that first hand I’d need to know the labour.” She looked at Ms.Hughes with her ornery stare before shaking it off. “I am sorry I know it’s absurd to ask however I must. No- I demand it. When Anna is well enough I will awake when she does and she will show me her tasks.” Mary said solidly.

Ms. Hughes pursed her lips. “Well then. I fear you are in for an awakening however it seems you’re not shying away from those as of late…That’s fine by me, but I will run it by Carson for good measure.”

Mary smiled the best she could. “Thank you.” She stood up and left her office to walk back into the kitchens where Daisy had a small tray for her to bring up.

“Thank you, Daisy.” Mary said and picked the tray up and went up the stairs noting that balancing it while navigating her steps was difficult. Something she would surely have to learn when she was shadowing Anna and her chores.

She had some difficulty holding the tray steady with one arm while she opened the door but did so and when she entered her bedroom Anna was sitting up.

“Mary, you should have had William or Thomas do that!”

Mary placed the tray across her lap. “No need to ask them…I asked Ms.Hughes about shadowing your chores when you’re well enough…just so I know…and I think it will help me run the estate better with more understanding…” Mary sat next to her on the bed.

Anna looked at her completely bewildered. “What?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “You didn’t mishear me and I have already told you this.”

Anna took a sip of the tea and waded this information around. “Well…Mary…You know you don’t have-”

“Oh but I do.” Mary said with a finality that meant the conversation was over.

Anna ate her breakfast as much as she could.

“Mary?”

Mary immediately perked up. “Yes?”

“I’d like to walk today. Maybe we can walk in the gardens or at least the house…I do hate staying so still.”

Mary considered this for a moment. “Well…You’ll get tired…maybe Barrow can be with us…just in case you get too weak…you need your rest.”

Anna finished her toast and tea and Mary picked up the tray and sat it on the table next to the bed.

“You haven’t called me anything nice today?”

Mary looked at her harshly. “Whatever do you mean?”

“You always call me your love or darling or my Anna…something is bothering you I can tell.” Anna said.

Mary scoffed. “Oh I am sorry…I am just so worried about you is all…my darling.” She added kissing her hand.

A soft knock on the door and Cora entered.

“Anna, how are you feeling?” She said sitting at the foot of her bed. “You look much better than the last time I saw you dear.” She patted her leg gently.

“I am feeling much better your Ladyship thank you.”

“Anna…you’ll have to call me Cora at some point.” Cora smiled at her.

Anna looked at her lap and fidgeted her hands. “I think that will take some time but I will try.”

Cora looked at Mary. “Mary, do you think Anna is well enough to see your father today? At some point he wants to speak with her.”

At this Mary’s evil demeanor came back. Her eyes darkened and her hands clenched and Anna tried to harness her back but Mary shuffled away from her.

“And what does he have to say to her?” She said darkly.

Cora sighed out looking at Anna who was having the same facial expression as her. The one that said “Mary is being diabolically angry”

‘“Mary I am not sure, but I do know he wants to and I think that is progress and if Anna is well enough to and willing-”

Anna spoke up. “I am and will.” She started to sit up further with some groans. “I can speak to his Lordship if he wants.”

Mary looked at her with her murderous eyes. “You must heal and not be-”

“Mary…I can…and then I’d like to walk with you…if you’d like.” Anna said in her sunshine voice.

Cora loved seeing their interactions and how Anna could harness Mary so easily.

“Well then I guess that’s settled…” Cora stood up patting Anna’s leg gently. “Anna only if you have the energy to though.”

Anna nodded at Mary’s mother. “I do have the energy…thank you… Cora.”

This delighted Mary and Cora who both looked at her shocked.

“Oh my! Well…We shall see you downstairs at some point today then won't we?” Cora knelt kissed Mary quickly before leaving, noting that Mary’s face was still angry. “My darling, you must accept progress.”

Cora smiled at Anna and left the room.

Mary stood up and started pacing the room pulling a dress out of the wardrobe for Anna. “If my father has any bad words for you…I will..” She started to stammer.

Anna lifted her legs over the edge of the bed. “Mary?”

Mary was instantly at her side helping her up. “My darling, are you sure you're well enough to be up? Do not let my father cause your healing to-”

“I’d like to speak with him…and I’d also like to move…I don't like being still as Thomas said.” She laughed as Mary held her hands as she stood. “I’d also like to…”

Mary looked at her shaking her head. “You’d also like to what my love?”

Anna pulled Mary close so her face was nestled into hers. “I’d also like to start our lives here…whatever it will be…I-”

Mary kissed her softly and then moved so she was holding Anna in her arms. Her mouth caressing Anna’s so delicately she had to pull away from pure emotion.

“Whatever it will be is it? Well then…No time like the present…isn’t that what they say?” Mary sat her back down and began to dress her.

******

Robert was at the breakfast table with Sibyl and Edith. They sat in silence.

“I’m going to talk with…Anna today…and Mary…” He said. Not even picking up his paper to read.

Sibyl and Edith shot him with dark looks.
“Will you be kind?” Sibyl said.

Robert scoffed. “Now why would I ask her to speak with me while she is hurt and not be kind? Am I such a monster?”

Cora entered at the middle of this conversation. “You struck Mary so yes you are a monster.” She sat down next to Edith as Carson sat a plate in front of her.

“Anna is well enough to meet with you and she will see you…Mary will be there and if you are anything but kind I will take my daughters and leave.” Cora said as it was a normal conversation. “Anna loves our daughter and you will not shame her in any way….Carson?”

Carson stepped forward. “Do you hate Anna for loving Lady Mary?” She said.

“Not in the slightest your Ladyship.” He said.

“That’s what I thought.”

*****

Mary had dressed Anna in one of the blue dresses she had handed down to her and sat her in her vanity chair and pulled her hair up the best she could.

“My darling is that acceptable?

Anna smiled. “I think it’s lovely.” Anna turned around.

Mary couldn’t help but feel anger at seeing her face in the state it was in and had to stuff that feeling down so as not to upset Anna. “Well then. Let’s go down.”

She held her hand for Anna but she stood up on her own only slightly wobbly. “Let me manage on my own…” Anna walked to the door and Mary opened it.

They walked down the hallway and Anna couldn’t help but feel awkward. “I feel so out of place not using the servants' doors, Mary. I am so anxious.”

Mary held her uninjured hand. “You must get used to it…You’ll be in my room from now on…however I must apologize for however my father acts…I-”

Anna stopped them at the top of the steps into the foyer. “I’m not afraid of your father.” She said with resolve. “I’m only afraid of not being with you.”

Mary kissed her face gently. “You won’t ever be without me.” And led them down the stairs holding tightly to Anna and when they made it to the bottom she felt Anna weaken. “My darling is this too much for you?”

Anna sighed out. “No. I need to get my strength up…where are we meeting Lord Grantham?”

Mary huffed out a grunt. “Lord Gratham will be in the library…his name is Robert however…and Anna Mae Crawley he will be-”

Thomas was there on the other side of Anna suddenly. “My Lady, might I help?” He asked when he was at Anna’s side for assistance.

“Yes, thank you Barrow.” Mary said in her annoyed tone that was not directed at him. “We are going to meet my father.”

Barrow let out a whistle. “Well look at you. As if you aren’t broken enough shall I stay for?-”

“No thank you I can handle him on my own thank you.” Mary said, pulling Anna into her arms.

“Mary.” is all Anna had to say.

Mary shook her head. “I am sorry Barrow, I know you only mean to help.”

Thomas stood back. “Not to worry, My Lady.” He nodded and left.

Anna looked at Mary with her withering stare. “Mary, why must you?-”

“Because I am a monster, my love.”

She led them into the library and helped Anna sit down on the velvet couch across from her father who was opposite twiddling his thumbs awkwardly.

Robert stood up and stared out the window before looking fully at Anna. He saw how bruised she was and how Mary was holding her.

“Papa, you have summoned us now say what you must.” Mary said angrily.

Robert sat once again looking at Anna who was having a hard time making eye contact with him however when she did her eyes were filled with rage. All that was in her mind was the night they left and he struck Mary.

“Anna…I hope you are healing well and…well I hope to ask for your forgiveness.” He stood up again. “My daughter seems to love you and I have behaved badly.” He looked at her fully and Anna’s eyes were full of nothing but disdain.

Robert was waiting for a response.

“I am not sure what to say otherwise… this is my apology and I’ll await your response I suppose…I know what I did was horrendous…you have to understand however that my daughter is highborn and-”

“Stop.” Anna finally said. Mary was looking at her encouragingly.

Robert nodded for her to continue.

“Lord Grantham. I tried to end this several times. I tried to convince Mary to marry Matthew…I tried to leave…none of my efforts worked as your daughter forbade it. I am sorry that it has come to this as I only want what is best for Mary. Always.” She said looking at Mary whose eye brows were furrowed with confusion. “I did try to leave Mary. She wouldn’t have it. I had no choice but to love her fully. Which I do. I love Mary.”

This made Mary ease slightly.

Robert was at full attention.

“However.” She stood up and walked to him with a sudden surge of strength fueled by anger. “If you ever lay a hand on the love of my life again-” She sounded angry, harnessing Mary’s mean side.

Robert looked affronted and offended. “I do think-”

“If you ever…strike the love of my life again-”

“Now this is not your place to say so and I understand what I did was terribly wrong-”

Anna slapped him as hard as she could, which was quite strong. “I said. If you ever lay a hand on Mary again.” Anna’s voice in a deep tone Mary hadn't heard before… which was turning her on in a way she wasn’t expecting.

Rober stood tall after the blow looking at Anna angrily when Mary stood up.

“Yes. I accept your apology now.” Anna said angrily. “I graciously accept it.” She sat back down. “And that will be it. We are at peace again.”

Robert seemed to understand and sat opposite them with one of his cheeks red. “Well then…are you well enough for dinner tonight?”

Mary shook her head. “We are going to walk the gardens and then I think she should rest for the evening, but perhaps tomorrow Papa” Mary stood up, looping her arm through Anna’s.

“No, I am well enough for dinner. Thank you your Lordship.” Anna said, looking at Mary sternly.

Robert nodded. “Well then. Please join us.”

Robert stood up and looked at both of them. “Thank you for listening to me Anna and no…there is no…I deserved that.” He said, chuckling slightly. “Rest up…whenever you’re able to…you are invited to dinner with the family…with your…” He couldn’t finish his sentence but Anna knew what he was conveying.

“Thank you Lord Grantham.”

******

Mary and Anna walked across the grass towards the bench they had their first kiss at when finally Mary spoke.

“You’re quite bold.” She held onto Anna’s arm as she sat down. “Striking the Earl of Grantham like that.” Mary started to laugh. “Not many could do that and not be in prison.”

Anna laughed too. “Well…it was very wrong of me to do so and I must apologize for it at some point in time however… I was just so angry…when he struck you I’ve never felt…”

Mary kissed the side of her face and pulled her close. “ You’re learning from me…please don’t… you’re too sweet for that type of anger my darling. However…”

Anna looked up at her curiously. “However?”

“I was quite turned on seeing you like that.” Mary held her head high and dared a glance at Anna whose mouth was hanging open.

“Is that so? And what was it that did you in?” She asked, placing her hand dangerously high up on Mary’s thigh which made Mary’s eyes darken.

“Oh…I suppose your tone…being so upset I was harmed…you say I am your protector but I feel you are mine as well.” Mary said breathily as Anna’s hand gripped her thigh.

“Hmm well then…noted.” She took her hand off Mary’s thigh and kissed her and then knelt her head on her shoulder and they sat in their well known comfortable silence.

“It smells nice…the breeze…and you.” Anna kissed Mary’s face. “Oh I cannot believe I struck his Lordship like that…he could have me sacked just-”

Mary stopped her. “He deserved it and he knew it. You two are at peace now…I think that sort of solidified it…I think he might respect you more honestly.” Mary knelt her head over Anna’s.

“Well it wasn’t very ladylike of me and as a servant it’s an unforgivable offence…” Anna said.

Mary turned so they were eye to eye. “Lucky for you…his eldest daughter has fallen for this maid…” She kissed her forehead.

Anna leaned into her. “Oh what a mess we are in now, Mary. I still stand by it that I’ll leave and-”

“Anna Mae Crawley…do not ever say that to me again.” Mary said darkly. “I have given you my family name. What else must I do to convince you that I want you!-”

Anna looked up at her. “I’m sorry….I am sorry…I just….I just love you so much, Mary.” Anna kissed her. “ I won’t say it again, alright?”

This seemed to calm Mary down. “Not ever. I’ve run away with you, given you my name in secrecy, made love to you, stolen you in the night, written you poetry, cursed my father, told my siblings, threatened the staff, told Carson and Ms. Hughes, what more can I do to convince you that I want to be with you.” Mary was annoyed and Anna could hear it.

“I apologize, My Lady.” She dared.

Mary looked at her fully annoyed, her eyes creased.

“I had to…just to see you mean Mary face.” Anna said, kissing her quickly.

Mary pulled back and then kissed Anna again softly. “You’re the only one who could say those things to me you know…if I didn’t adore you so much…”

Anna sat up on the bench fully pulling herself from Mary’s arms. “You only just adore me do you?”

Mary looked put off. “What?”

“You only adore me and not love me? Why I suppose I just-”

Mary kissed her again, stronger holding her uninjured hand. “I adore you more than I adore breathing…I adore you…more than words can tell my darling…” Mary said, truly enamored.

Anna laughed. “I was only teasing you…sorry…now…what is it you like to call me?” Anna cocked her head to the side.

Mary smiled, holding Anna’s face in her hands. “Do you still like your name? I so love hearing it.”

Anna smiled, kissing Mary’s palm. “What is it tell me? I seem to have forgotten.” She whispered.

Mary kissed her again deepening the kiss as their tongues started to intertwine, stirring their libidos more than could allow.

“My Anna Mae Crawley…” Mary started to kiss her again not letting Anna breath a response.

“Oh…I had forgotten…Just tell me as often as you’d like.” Anna sighed.

Mary placed her forehead against Anna’s. The breeze flowing around them.

“Would you help me back to our bed, my love?” Anna asked.

Mary stood up pulling Anna with her. “Of course darling.”

They walked back to the house and up the stairs. Mary noticed that Anna was beginning to be tired as they reached the top of the staircase.

“Not much further my love…I should have asked Barrow to help. I am sorry.” Mary said, worrying.

Anna sighed. “No. I need to gain my strength up again…but maybe Thomas could have helped…oh.”

They reached Mary’s bedroom door and Mary instantly sat her down on the bed and began taking off her shoes and dress and she noticed how tired Anna looked.

“Not to worry…” Mary pulled the dress off of her being careful of her injured hand. “Just lay back.” Mary pulled a nightgown over her.

“I am so sorry you have to-”

“Don't. Do you need an aspirin?” Mary said.

Anna laid into the pillows. “I do.” She felt the pains of her injuries. “Oh my chest hurts…I’m sure it’s just the-”

Mary was at her side with the aspirin and a glass of water. “Is it worse? Tell me.” Mary’s eyes were wide. Her big amber eyes looking at Anna with such love.

Anna smiled and pulled her face in. “You really love me don’t you.”

Mary was so offended by her words she stood up and handed her the aspirin and water and walked away. Anna swallowed the pills and sat the glass on the table “Mary?”

Mary was over by the window looking out crying silently.

“Mary?” Anna said again sitting up. “Come here now.”

Mary turned around and did as Anna said and sat down on the bed. “Yes my darling.”

Anna held her hand trying to pull her from her thoughts. “What is it?”

Mary shook her head. Her beautiful hair falling around her face having not been put up properly. “I don’t know what I can do to convince you that I want you forever and I must have done something to make you think it is temporary.” She whispered, holding Anna’s hand.

Anna realized it was her fault. “My love. Look at me.” She lifted Mary’s chin up to look at her. “I am sorry…I say these things just out of pure shock…I know in my heart that you want me and I will try and not question your love anymore…I never want to upset you.”

Mary nodded, wiping her tears.

“Come lay with me.”

Mary obliged and went around her bed and laid down next to Anna.

“If you are not well enough for dinner with my family then we can-”

“I’ll be just fine in a few hours. What shall I even wear?” Anna said, distracting her from her sadness.

Mary thought for a moment and then grabbed onto Anna tighter. “You can just wear something comfortable. I have a dress with longer sleeves…that way you don't have to be…uncomfortable with your injuries. ” Mary kissed her forehead. “I shall ring for Gwen…It just needs to be hemmed slightly for you.” Mary hopped up quickly and pulled the velvet handle for the bell.

Gwen was there quickly. “My Lady?” Gwen asked looking at Anna instead.

“Gwen are you able to hem this dress so it’s two inches shorter…it shouldn’t take too much to-”

“Yes My Lady…It won’t take long at all. I’ll bring it up before dinner.” Gwen hesitated at the door and turned towards Anna nodding at the dress smirking.

“Oh off with you.” Anna said smiling.

Gwen left with the gown.

Anna found this daunting. “I am sure Gwen can finish it in a few hours, however the ordeal does seem daunting. Do not take my confidence without anxiety.”

“We will do this together or not at all, my love.” Mary said in her deep tone. One that Anna knew not to question.

“Yes my love…as long as you help me I am sure I’ll be fine….I am just-”

“You will look beautiful…” Mary said, lulling Anna in her arms. The afternoon light filtering through the windows.

Mary knew that this dinner would be the definitive factor in their courtship. After Anna had struck her father... oh how that was arousing.

She kissed Anna’s forehead and held her.

“Sleep for now my love…I’ll wake you when it’s time to go down…I’ll dress you and put up your hair…I love you so much.” she couldn’t help but add.

Anna inhaled and kissed her neck. “Don’t ever leave me, Mary.”

Mary laughed at her mimicking her own words. “I won't, darling.”

Chapter Text

Mary woke up some time later. She noted that the clock was only half an hour from the gong ringing.

“My darling, it's time to wake…” She kissed her face and rubbed her arm gently, noticing that Anna was stirring.

“Okay.” Anna said, trying to pull herself out of sleep.

“My dear if you are not able to-”

“Mary I am and I will.” Anna sat up and pulled the covers off and sat on the edge of the bed. “Besides…let’s just… fucking get this over with.”

This made Mary laugh as she went to stand so much she knelt over with her hands on her knees. “Oh my gods, Anna.” She rounded the bed as both of them were still laughing. “Well on THAT note stand up my love.” Mary held her hand to stand. “Gwen must have been in here while we were sleeping as the gown I gave her is on the ottoman.”

“I’m glad we can give them something to gossip about ... .mustn't be dull in the servants hall.” Anna said sarcastically.

“Oh you are sounding more like me.” Mary laughed. “Don’t let it stick my darling. I don't want to have to scorn you for having a mean Anna face.” She went over to the wardrobe to find the corset and undergarments.

And at this Anna gave her such a stern glare Mary went into a full fit of laughter. “Oh I see it’s already happened.”

Anna reached her with a groan. “Don’t test me at the moment Mary Josephine or I shall show you my true mean Anna face.” Anna teased without easing up on her tone.

Mary started pulling the nightgown off of her and then the shift over her. “I don’t think a corset is wise now that I think about it so we’ll just have to forego one for this evening-”

“Not a chance I won’t have my first dinner with your family be with me looking unkempt- just keep it loose and I’ll be fine…I am just bruised.” Anna said, turning around so her back was towards Mary.

Mary was hesitant. “Darling won't it-”

“Dammit Mary just put the corset on me.” Anna said, giving her a withering stare.

Mary raised her eyebrows at Anna’s tone. “I think you have spent too much time with me darling.” She pulled the corset on and tied it loosely and then the black dress Gwen had hemmed. “Oh she does know your small height she did well. Let me just button the cuffs here-”

“My small height?” Anna turned around glaring at Mary. “Oh you will-” She pinched Mary’s arm gently with her good hand which sent them both into giggle fits. “Mary, maybe I have learned your mean face…I quite like it.” Anna held her arm out for Mary to button the sleeves. “Oh damn my finger is in this fuckin brace.” Anna said offhandedly. The usage of curse words from Anna turned on Mary in another way she hadn’t expected.

“My love if you keep up talking like this I’ll have to…kiss you until you are breathless.” Mary said, finishing the sleeves and bent down pulling her shoes on.

Anna placed a hand on Mary’s head. “You like that do you?” She cocked her head to one side.

Mary forgot what she was even doing.

“I uh. Well darling I uhm…” She laced up her shoes. “I cannot touch you in any way I want at the moment so please.” Mary stood up and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. “Best we don’t venture into that territory.”

Anna pulled her face close to hers. “Don’t think that I will never want you again…once I am healed…and once I am…” Anna’s fears flared up.

“My darling I don’t think it will come to that so we are safe…just…stop making me so attracted to you is all.” Mary winked at her and sat Anna down at her vanity and started brushing her hair and placing it in a delicate knot at the base of her neck. “This is how you normally wear it so I thought it might be comfortable for you.” She said nervously.

“It’s just perfect darling.” Anna stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. “I look like my husband died at sea, however I do appreciate the longer sleeves thank you.”

Mary started laughing at her words and couldn’t contain it.

“Well am I wrong?” Anna laughed with her.

“Oh it’s just that…This is the…” Mary’s laughter was at a level Anna had never seen before.

“Mary what in the hells?”

This caused Mary to laugh harder and slap her knees, kneeling down. “Oh my darling you are effortlessly comical….it’s just that…this is the dress I wore when someone I was betrothed to died on the Titanic.”

Anna’s mouth was agape and her and Mary locked eyes before falling into more hysterics.

Mary finally started to regain herself and wiped the tears from her eyes from laughing so hard. “Whew…my darling…” She picked up the nightgown Anna had been wearing and paced it on the bed. “Shall we?” She was still trying to stifle her laughter.

“Oh, are you sure you can manage?” Anna said sarcastically. “Shall we wait for you to gather yourself?” Anna asked, making her way to the door as Mary started to laugh harder once again. “Mary!” Anna started to laugh again as well. “We need to meet your family!”

Mary was holding onto the bedpost with her hand around her middle. “Oh my goodness …Yes…I am ready…” She instantly started to laugh again. “Anna my beloved this is what-’ more laughter- “This is what made me fall for you…you’re the only one who can ever make me laugh like this darling…oh my goodness.” Mary tried to reign in her fits and looked at Anna who was leaning her head against the door laughing as well. “Oh you are not helping!”

“Well shouldn’t I go and mourn my love who was lost at sea?” Anna gestured towards the door which sent Mary over the edge laughing.

They both almost fell over laughing and Anna made her way back to the bed with Mary joining her and they cackled for so long tears streamed down their faces and they both were gripping their sides.

Anna stood up being the one to stop her giggle fits. “Mary.” She said, holding her hand out. “I promise to not make any more jokes this evening…I don’t want to upset your family by bursting into the dining room laughing.”

This did not help Mary gain control but sent her even further and she laid back on the bed laughing so hard Anna had never seen her this way.

“Mary Josephine Crawley! We will be late!” Anna grabbed her with her good hand and pulled her up to the best of her ability.

Mary finally stopped laughing and wiped her eyes. “Alright I’m ready…oh my goodness, Anna…” Mary said, standing up walking towards the door. “I can’t imagine a future without you…”

Anna kissed her cheek quickly as they left the room. “I promise to always make you laugh.”

This sobered Mary up from her fit. “Please my darling…even in the state you are in you seem to make me laugh.”

“I’ll be somber when we go down…remember I am healing…” and Anna curtseyed which made Mary laugh at her tone. “Mary!”

“I’m fine…darling…I just…you said you wouldn’t make any more jokes!” She stood at the top of the staircase laughing, unable to control it when her sisters joined them suddenly.

Sibyl smiled widely and Edith looked confused.

“Mary, whatever is so funny?” Sibyl asked.

Anna started to laugh again as well which only fueled Mary’s.

“Sibyl dear…I am just…oh-” She turned away covering her mouth.

“Are you having some sort of psychotic breakdown or something?’ Edith asked looking to Anna.

“My Lady, she's just being ridiculous.” Anna said, nudging Mary. “Mary! Gather yourself my love!”

Mary stood up from her crouched stance from laughing so hard.

“Yes. I am fine. Let’s go down.” She said barely controlling her facial expression which was one trying to not let out a cackle.

“What happened to make you both laugh so earnestly?” Sibyl asked giggling herself.

“If only I could tell you.” Anna reached out for someone to help her down the stairs and Mary was suddenly there taking the spot of Sibyl.

“I’ve got you darling.” Mary’s smile still prominent on her face. “Let me escort you to the shipwreck.”

This sent both Anna and Mary further into laughter that the sisters were confused about but also laughing.

“I see we are missing out on some inside joke.” Edith said smiling.

Sibyl was chuckling to herself as well. “Well I see you are healing well.” Nodding at Anna.

Anna gripped the staircase as well as Mary’s hand who was beside herself with laughter and saw that her mother was at the bottom of the stairs looking confused but delighted at the same time.

“My darlings?” Cora smiled looking between the four of them.

“Mary.” Anna said sternly and she stood tall and helped her down the stairs with intermittent chuckles. “We can reminisce later, let's just make it down the stairs.”

Cora was chuckling at the sight of them and looked to her other daughters for some sort of explanation.

Sibyl shrugged and Edith smiled looking at them who were desperately trying to regain some semblance of normalcy.

“Mama I am sorry. Anna and I seem to have fallen into some fit. We are fine.” Mary stood up holding Anna upright. “My darling.” She looked at Anna’s face which was streaming with tears of laughter. Mary wiped them and stuffed down the joke they hadn’t been able to recover from.

“You Ladyship I do apologize.” Anna said as they went into the library.

“Do not ever apologize for causing my eldest to laugh this way…I have never seen it.” Cora said.

Anna suddenly felt that fear of unfamiliar circumstances as they approached the library.

Mary held her hand the entire time and Anna noticed that her laughter had also faded at the situation but did not dare look at Anna for fear it would come back. The joke was unexplainable to anyone else.

Mary sat Anna and herself on the sofa and could feel Anna’s nerves surface quickly as Thomas and Carson entered the room pouring the family drinks.

Anna looked at Thomas with a worried look and he winked at her. Anna decided to not shy away from who she was.

“How are you tonight, Thomas?” She asked as he placed a drink in her hand.

Thomas smiled widely. “I am fine, Anna. Only missing you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “How are you healing?”

Anna smiled widely at the familiarity. “Well thank you…steer clear of the courtyard.” She winked at him.

“Oh no promises there.”

Robert entered and the conversations ceased.

Anna was sat with the family who all looked towards the Earl and she flustered turning the drink around in her hand looking at her feet when Mary placed a finger under her chin and pulled her face towards her with an encouraging nod.

“Anna…thank you for joining us. I know you are still healing…however it is good to see you up and about.” He said grabbing his own drink and sat opposite her next to his wife.

“They have seemed to find something so funny they could barely make it down the stairs…I’ve never seen Mary laugh like that.” Cora said conversationally.

Mary reigned in her laughter only slightly looking at her parents. “Anna’s humor is something that made me fall in love with her in the first place.” Mary placed a hand on Anna’s knee. “She’s the only one who can make me laugh like this.”

Anna looked embarrassed but decided to run with it. “Making Mary laugh is one of my favorite things to do your Lordship.” She placed her injured hand on top of Mary’s.

He smiled looking down. “That’s an accomplishment then! Not many can.” He smiled at Anna genuinely. “Anna.” He said harnessing her attention completely as well as the rest of the room. “Tell me how your trip was.”

Anna started to become flustered at how she should respond. “Well…it was lovely.” She took a hefty sip of the brandy not accustomed to its strength. “I had caviar for the first time…It was delicious however Ms. Pattmore makes an appetizer that is superior so I am biased.” She finished feeling embarrassed looking at Mary for help.

“We’ll have to have her make that for us sometime…or maybe have the staff try caviar and see if they like it as much as you did.” Mary pulled her hand up to her face and kissed it quickly.

Before anyone could respond Carson was there.

“My Lord, dinner is ready.”

Lord Grantham stood up gesturing for the rest of them to do so as well. “Well let us go through”

Mary didn’t let go of Anna’s hand and when they went into the dining room Anna felt so out of place. This was somewhere she was not on the side of normally. She looked around as if she was seeing it all from some foreign perspective.

Mary pulled a chair out for her and sat at the next seat noticing Anna’s discomfort and gained her gaze and smiled encouragingly. Edith was sat next to her and Sibyl was across the table from her.

Anna placed the napkin on her lap as Thomas and William entered and she was only thinking that this was so out of place she should be helping them.

Thomas poured the wine and when he reached Anna he smiled. “Don’t think I’ll see you in the courtyard after dinner then.”

Anna took a quick sip. “Only if I am able.” She whispered her anxiety suddenly spiking.

“Anna, where is it you’re from?” Robert asked, trying to make conversation.

Anna breathed in deeply before answering. “Yorkshire, your Lordship.”

He nodded. “And how did you end up at Downton?” He said, taking a sip of his wine.

Anna thought about her answer. “My sister. She found an advertisement for the position of a maid. I was eager to start working and she helped me…I interviewed with Ms.Hughes.” Anna said, looking across the table at Sibyl who smiled at her.

“We are so happy you did.” Sibyl said.

“Well…I was terrified at first at being in such a big house…but I knew my mother would be proud of me.” Anna started to sift the napkin in her lap through her hands anxiously.

“And how did you find it once you gained the position? Did you enjoy the work? Was Carson polite to you?” Cora said as Thomas offered her a platter.

The memory of Anna telling Mary about her first impression of Caron sent Mary into another fit of laughter which Anna gave her a stern look over.

“I found the work to be most manageable and Mr. Carson was very kind.” Anna said politely.

Mary was still trying to contain her giggles.

“I’m sorry, is there something funny?” Robert said looking at his eldest daughter.

Mary shook her head. “No…I apologize.” She set her face to be still. “I am sorry.”

Robert looked confused but continued interacting with Anna.

“So when was it you…when was it you…” He was anxious at his next question but persevered. “When did you fall in love with my daughter?”

The room was silent. All cutlery stopped and Cora looked between Robert and Anna silently as did Sibyl and Edith…as well as Thomas, William, and Carson.

Mary only looked adoringly at Anna and nodded for her to respond, placing a hand on her knee.

“The moment I saw her.” Anna said confidently.

Sibyl giggled as did Edith.

Anna summoned some courage she didn’t know she even had. “I made her laugh you see…and once I heard how it sounded I couldn’t help myself but to keep making her laugh…” Anna added, gripping Mary’s hand tightly that was placed on her thigh. “I understand the implications that are at play here My Lord, however…making Mary laugh is the most important job I have ever had. She is precious to me.” Anna ended her speech looking down, not making eye contact with anyone knowing they were all looking at her. “I know your views my Lord; however, caring for your daughter has been the greatest joy of my life.”

She looked up finally and met his eyes.

Robert shuffled in his seat unable to find an argument nor did he want one. “Making Mary laugh is a feat. I’m astonished someone was able to do so…even as a child she never laughed.”

Mary piped up. “Now that is not entirely true?”

“It is. You never laughed at anything we all found funny.” Edith said.

“Remember when that governess fell over and you and I laughed so hard, Edith, and Mary just looked put off by it?” Sibyl added.

Anna started to laugh at the picture of it in her head.

“I’m sorry not laughing at someone falling to the floor is not something to find funny.” Mary said in her annoyed voice.

Sibyl and Edith giggled.

“It is though and you never found anything conventionally funny. You're such a stick when it comes to humor so if Anna can make you laugh as you have then that is a feat.” Edith said, resuming her dinner.

Anna held her napkin up to her mouth to hide her smile.

“Don’t hide your smile darling. I love it so.” Mary semi-whispered to her.

“Tell us more about you, Anna. What do you enjoy in your free time?” Cora asked.

Anna took a bite of dinner and then thought about what to say.

“I love poetry…and I enjoy gardening.” She said hoping the reaction wouldn’t be something she’d have to elaborate on.

“Anna is actually quite the poet. She’s written me a poem and she’s quite talented. As for gardening…I’d love for her to be able to have a small plot to do so.” Mary said conversationally as if she were talking about weather. “Maybe in the back gardens…I was thinking of asking ours to make one for her…what do you think Papa?” Mary looked at him sternly with one of her glares.

Robert’s eyes widened. “Of course…we’ll have a bench placed as well…what type of…what would you like to…” He started to derail.

"What type of plants would you like to grow my dear?” Cora saved him.

Anna was so uncomfortable she thought she might crawl out of her skin. “It doesn’t matter. As long as I can watch it grow from the ground into something I think that’s enough for me however I don’t need a plot or anything of the sort Mary’s just-”

“You’ll have one, we have plenty of land for you to do so.” Mary said haughtily.

Robert fidgeted with his cutlery. “I think I know the perfect spot.” He smiled at Anna.

Anna felt even more uncomfortable at the intensity of questions testing her. Was this going to be how it was?

“Anna…who is your favorite poet?” Edith asked.

Anna looked at Edith and smiled and knew she was trying to harness her back again.

“Oh well…Eliot…Dickison…some of my favorites…” Anna was just turning her dinner around on the plate not eating. “I also enjoy reading in general…I do apologize I’ve snuck a fair number of novels from the library to read on my day’s off.” She smiled into her lap

“I hadn’t a clue you enjoyed reading so much! You have full access to the library…I’ve not touched a book there in ages. It's about time someone uses it for its purpose.” Cora said, looking at her husband sternly.

Robert nodded. “A well read person is a smarter person…I applaud your habit.”

The dinner went on with more casual conversations when Anna genuinely started to feel tired. Her hand was aching and her chest was aching. The wound on her face made her feel like she was being cut again…she hadn't realized the anxiety that came with her injuries. Mary noticed this as well as the sisters.

“My darling, why don’t we make our way back to the bed you need your rest.” Mary stood up and helped Anna.

Anna hesitated slightly before giving in. She was exhausted and she so desired to take something for her pains. “My Lord…Ladyship…I apologize…I promise that once I am healed to-”

“Nothing to apologize for please Anna go and rest…Mary do you need some help?” He looked at Barrow who was instantly at Anna's side and took one of her arms from Mary’s.

“Not to worry Anna, we'll get you upstairs…now come on.” he said, leading her from the dining room to the stairs.

Mary stood back silently with her hands clasped in front of her.

“Thank you Papa.” She said, looking at him directly. “Thank you.” She emphasized before leaving following Thomas and Anna.

*****

Thomas sat Anna down on the edge of the bed right as Mary entered the room.

“Thank you Barrow.” Mary said slightly worried as Anna had gone very pale. “Would you mind finding some cloth and water? Cold as possible?” She said almost pleading.

Thomas stood up straight and walked to the door. “I’ll be back soon.”

Mary went to Anna who was sighing. “Oh I am so sorry…I’ve let your family down by leaving like that.”

Mary shook her beautiful head to the side. “No darling you did wonderfully…I’m now only worried about you…can I bring you some aspirin? Then once Barrow returns I can take your dress off?”

Anna nodded. “You don’t have to wait for Thomas to come back…” She said almost in a haze. “Oh I suddenly hurt so much…damn.”

“I don’t think it’s right for a man to see me undressing you…” Mary said, holding Anna still on the bed.

Anna laughed. “Mary…he-” She laughed. “Mary, Thomas is not interested in women.”

Mary was struck wordless and then cocked her head to one side. “Oh that makes much sense now that you mention it.” She pulled Anna up as gently as she could and started with her shoes when Thomas entered the room.

“Well that was quick.” Mary stood up grabbing the bowl and clothes from him. “Thank you Barrow…” She looked at him smiling now knowing why he and Anna were such close friends.

“If you need anything…just ask.” He looked directly at Anna who smiled at him as he left.

Mary started the process of undressing Anna again and when she was in bed Mary placed the ice cold clothes on her torso…her legs…her hand…the feeling of a suffocating sadness started to take her and Anna could tell.

“My love, will you hold me?” Anna asked.

Mary didn’t respond and instead pressed the cold cloths into her skin “Not yet my darling…this will help…let me bring you some aspirin..” Mary stood up and brought Anna some medicine and she took it quickly.

After a while when Anna felt like the pain was lessened she turned to Mary who was kneeling at her bedside. “Mary, come hold me.”

“Not yet…let me change the bandage off your face darling…” Mary said in such a harsh tone Anna knew she was only trying to stifle her sadness.

“Yes, Mary.” Is all Anna could say.

Mary peeled the small strip of cloth off and went to the bag Clarkson had sent with them and gently smeared some of the salve across the stitches as Anna winced. “I’m done…. I just need to put a new cloth over it ... .it already is looking better darling…” Mary said as Anna noticed she was crying.

“Mary.”

“What?!” Mary said defensively. “Don’t use that tone with me. Not now. I am angry Anna…You are…your face is maimed by some evil human whom I do plan on finding…Papa said he is in prison…you aren’t the first to…Anna I know you say to leave it but I cannot do so when I see you like this.” Mary was fully crying at this point.

She walked away from Anna and started sobbing fully before turning towards Anna. “I will not let this man just sit still in prison for what he has done to you! I will make him suffer!”

Anna had never heard Mary sound so murderous it made her sit up as much as she could. “Oh Mary…Come hold me…I demand it …now.” She grimaced and groaned. “Mary please.”

Mary was already undressing herself as quickly as she could, throwing her garments on the floor and when she was bare she pulled a nightgown over herself and crawled delicately into the bed next to Anna.

“And what would you even do?” Anna turned towards Mary. “What would or could you even do my love?”

Mary’s mind filtered through many thoughts about what she would do…but then landed on what she could do which she would not divulge to her lover.

“It doesn’t matter my love.” She pulled Anna into her arms. “Just as long as you are safe..and in my arms…”

Anna sighed. “Don’t ever leave me, Mary.”

Mary smiled…smelling Anna’s hair. “I love you.”
****

Anna was sleeping deeply in the early hours of the morning when Mary woke up. She looked at her face admiring every inch of her. She moved so Anna was propped up by the pillows and made sure she was still sleeping when she dressed quickly in something plain and easy to put on and left the room. Her murderous face set and her heart pounded as she went to the servants quarters.

They all stood up as she entered.

“No need for that…I’m only looking for Barrow.” Mary said to them all.

Carson looked at her confused as to why she would want to speak to him. “My Lady if there is something you need I can-”

“No. I’d like to speak with Thomas please.” She said politely.

Thomas entered the servants hall as on command. “My Lady?’

“Oh! Just the person I was looking for, might I have a word?” She gestured to the courtyard. The staff looked confused but now at this point Lady Mary’s actions weren’t so predictable.

“Of course My Lady.” He led her to the back door holding it open for her.

The cold air hit them and the fog laid around the Abbey gently like a blanket.

Thomas looked confused but kept his professional demeanor and simply placed his hands behind his back and focused on Mary who was looking angry as ever.

“Listen…I won't pretend to be someone who is kind or caring and in this circumstance I am more than angry…Thomas…I might ask…if you can gain any information on the man who assaulted Anna…my father said he was imprisoned and that’s wonderful however…I don’t feel it is enough of a punishment and I need to…” She was trembling with rage.

Thomas was slowly understanding where she was going with her request.

“You want me to find out who he is…what his name is…where he is being held…is this correct My Lady?” He asked.

Mary simply nodded. Thomas could always tell when she was the most angry as her eyes held a certain fury he could never harness himself.

“I see…” He too suddenly liked the idea of finding out who this man was who did this to his best friend…however finding out this information wouldn’t help in any way he wasn’t sure what Lady Mary planned on doing with it. “If I might ask my Lady…what is it you want to do with this information?”

Mary clenched her fists and started pacing in the courtyard. He could see her breath becoming more rapid in the cold air.

“I do not want him to…get off so easily…live his miserable life in prison…” She looked up at him and he understood. She wanted to hurt him and she was asking Thomas for help.

Thomas nodded in agreement as he too wanted this man to suffer.

“I’ll find out what I can My Lady.” His voice at the same darkness Mary could harness.

She looked grim. She looked devious and Thomas really truly understood how much she loved Anna.

He gestured for them to go back inside when Mary stopped them.

“You know…Anna says you and I are much alike…and I can’t help but think she was correct.” Mary said her face slackened and her softer side showing.

Thomas chuckled. “She’s told me that as well My Lady…I too am not the most likeable.” He opened the door for her seeing she was smiling.

“I’m glad I have someone to share that evil side with then. Thank you, Thomas….would you mind bringing up something for Anna to have for breakfast?’ She added.

“Not at all My Lady…I’ll bring it up soon.” He nodded and went into the kitchen with some confused looks from the staff but with a new resolve. He would absolutely find out who this man was, which prison he was in, and somehow…whatever Mary had planned in her devious mind…would help her play out.

*****

Mary quietly opened her room door to find Anna still sleeping. She sat down on the bed next to her gently rubbing her arm. “My love…some breakfast is being brought up to you..” She kissed her forehead pushing the stray hairs off her face. “Are you well enough for something to eat? Maybe just a glass of water?’

Anna woke up groaning. “Oh…I suppose…I feel like I hurt more than I did before…” Anna sat up struggling and Mary helped her, putting a pillow behind her back.

“What do you mean?” She asked, trying to hide the worry in her voice.

Anna sighed and looked at her. “Oh don’t pay attention to my words…I’ve just woken up and it always feels the worst in the morning.”

Mary noted this and added, “What hurts the most?”

Anna sighed and turned away from her, almost looking embarrassed which made Mary more concerned and before she could say anything otherwise Thomas was entering with a tray of breakfast.

Mary smiled at him. “Thank you Barrow.” She sat up so he could place the tray over Anna’s lap.

“How are you feeling today Anna?” He asked his tone worried.

Anna smiled at him. “I’m fine Thomas thank you.”

He smiled. “You once said that to me ages ago and it turned out you were in love with Lady Mary if you recall.” He teased.

Mary temporarily forgot her concern. “What?”

Thomas looked embarrassed as did Anna who smiled at her tray.

“Thomas clocked me early on, Mary. I was ever so eager to hear your bell ring.” Anna took a sip of tea and sighed. “I’m afraid I also was more transparent than I thought.”

This warmed Mary’s heart greatly and she smiled looking downward. “Well then…I too was eager to have you say good morning to me….and good night.”

Thomas placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder and then made his way to the door. “My Lady.” He nodded as he left.

Mary was sifting back and forth between the conversation she had with Barrow and the one she was having with Anna before he brought her up breakfast. She decided to sit in the chair next to her window.

Anna noticed her acting uncomfortable. “What is it?” She took a sip of her tea and ate a spoonful of her oats trying to stomach it.

Mary stood up quickly. “Darling you have to eat in order to heal…what would help?”

Anna swallowed and looked at Mary. Her eyes were still tired. “I’ll finish this I promise.” She kept eating despite having a difficult time with it.

Mary watched intermittently. Mainly staring at the floor and when Anna finished she leaned back in the bed exhausted. Mary picked up the tray and placed it on the table.

“I’m glad you were able to eat my darling…now maybe a glass of water and I’ll be happy.” She handed Anna a glass with an encouraging look. Anna drank it and handed the empty glass back to Mary.

“What is it?” Anna asked.

Mary placed the glass on the tray and sat next to Anna. “What is it that hurts the most when you wake up, Anna?” She had a tone of half anger and half concern.

“I was speaking from my haze of sleep my love it’s nothing-”

“Tell me.” Mary demanded.

Anna inhaled deeply and simply gave her a look. Mary understood.

“I see…” Mary stood up and started pacing her hair falling out of the knot she had tied by herself.

“Mary don’t-”

Mary was beside herself with rage and walked to the window and opened it slightly, breathing in the cold air to calm herself.

“I won’t be damaged for you forever.” Anna said, putting her feet over the edge of the bed and standing up.

Mary looked at her with a truly evil look. “Damaged for me? If you mean what I think you mean then you must underestimate the love I have for you and I have failed at showing you.” Mary turned away again as Anna walked over to her.

“That’s not…I didn’t entirely mean that…Mary?” Anna placed her uninjured hand on Mary’s back and she felt her shaking. “Mary, look at me!”

Mary turned around her face full of rage. “What? Are you to tell me now that because of the idea of me not being able to touch you in a certain way you think I do not want you forever?”

Anna now was fully understanding how Mary took her words, which were not off from what she had meant. “Mary I say things before I speak and no I do not think that…I just…-”

Mary delicately pulled Anna into her arms and kissed her head and leaned back looking her in her eyes. “I would live forever happy if it meant I had to watch you from a distance…if the only way I was able to see you was from across a room…if the only time I was able to touch you was a simply handshake…if the only moment I was able to look you in the eyes was through a mirror…do you understand?” Mary was shaking with a combination of rage and sorrow. “I love you so much…nothing else…none of that matters…I only want you to be here with me forever…I want to give you whatever you need or want until we both perish…preferably at the same time.” She added with a slight laugh. “Anna.”

Anna was taking in her words the best she could without falling into a despair that would further send Mary into sorrow. “Mary?”

“I love you.” Mary said simply. “That’s the only thing that I care about…My life has been leading up to meeting you…and finding your eyes…I feel I could find you in a dark room just from feeling my soul tied to yours my love.” Mary kissed her hand and held it against her face.

Anna leaned into Mary’s chest and let out a sob she had been holding in. “I’m sorry…I am so sorry, Mary…I’ve never felt worthy of any type of love and I simply cannot-”

“You’re worthy of my love.” Mary pulled her face towards her and kissed her gently. “You’re worthy of my love…which to be fair isn’t much as I am such a monster…however…”

This made Anna laugh. “My evil Mary…loves me so much.” She choked on her own tears. “I have promised you to never leave and I will not ever.” Anna saw the despair in Mary’s eyes. The type that were scared of something only formed in one's mind that has not happened yet and would likely not happen. “Tell me more about this garden plot your father said he’d find for me.” Anna pulled them back to the bed.

Mary took off her shoes and crawled onto the bed so she could hold Anna properly.

She was choking through her tears but understood Anna was trying to pry her from her sorrow. “There is a place…by the back of the gardens…we can have tilled up and I will find you seeds…from Mosely’s father…Matthew’s valet…and I’d love to help you if you’d allow it. I have already thought about finding journals for your poetry…you can write and grow…whatever you desire my love.” Mary kissed the top of her head as Anna leaned in delicately holding her injured hand on Mary’s chest.

“Well…that sounds like a dream…one I never thought would happen.” Anna laughed.

Mary pulled her as close as she could. “The dream that will happen…” She was regaining herself. “Oh my…I am sorry…Anna you have stripped me of every mask I’ve ever worn and you do it so easily as well.”

Anna laughed again. “I can’t believe I told you family I loved you from the moment I saw you. Not that I didn’t- however- very bold of me to be so blatant.”

“Don’t worry darling…I think that only sealed it for Papa. He doesn't have a choice now.”

The morning was weaving into the afternoon.

“I think you should rest as much as you can today-”

“I’d like to walk with you again. It makes things feel normal.” Anna said, sitting up. “Would you help me?”

Mary kissed her deeply, placing her long fingers around Anna’s face curling them into her blonde hair. “If that is what you would like to do then yes I’d love to.”

Anna was lost in the kiss she had just received. “Oh my you still endlessly leave me breathless with those kisses, Mary.”

Chapter Text

Mary once again woke before Anna who was soundly asleep. Mary couldn’t help but caress her face and admire how beautiful she was. She debated whether or not she should wake her…as it was well past the time she would normally awake, but before she could do so Anna stirred.

“Mmm what time is it?” Anna asked, pressing her face into Mary’s neck and then wincing at the pain from the injury on her face. “Oh damn.”

Mary sat up instantly. “What can I get for you?”

Anna shook her head. “Nothing…only time will heal this.” She sat up with a groan. “I’d still like to walk the gardens with you…didn’t you say you’d show me where I could grow things?” Anna said, wincing as she moved.

Mary was also still waking up but at the sudden trigger of Anna being in pain it sent her into a panic. “Yes…yes my darling.. I will walk with you in the gardens however you need something to eat prior.” She stood up and pulled the velvet rope to summon a servant.

Mary got up and went around the bed and sat next to Anna. “Get something in your system and then we can give you something for the pain…I’ll change your bandage….and we can go for a walk darling..” She yawned.

Mary could tell that Anna was tired and in discomfort. “Darling, what can I do?”

Anna huffed. “Just be with me…when do I see Dr. Clarkson again?”

“Tomorrow, however, I can have him summoned today if need be.” Mary said, her face full of concern.

“No need. I’m just…bleeding more than I normally do…” Anna placed her hands on her hips with a groan.

Mary understood.

“Does it feel different from your normal cycles?”

“Yes.”

“Then I will have Clarkson visit today.”

“Mary I can-”

“He will visit today.”

Ms. Hughes entered the room with a tray. “ Morning Anna….Lady Mary…How are you feeling?” She went over to the bed and put the tray over her lap looking concerned.

“Ms. Hughes, we need Clarkson to visit today. Please send for him when you go downstairs again.” Mary said, adjusting the tray in Anna’s lap.

“Very well, My Lady….Is there anything else I can-”

“No, that is all, thank you.” Mary said sternly focused on Anna who was struggling to pick up a spoon to eat her oats.

Ms. Hughes watched the way Mary looked at Anna as if she were the only human alive as if she were the only person in the room. Her eyes never strayed from Anna. Mary looked back at her almost as an apology.

“Thank you.” She said

Ms.Hughes walked towards Anna and put a hand on her forehead and pulled some hairs around her ear. “You must heal or else Thomas will have no one to scheme with in the courtyard.”

This caused Anna to laugh. “Well Ms. Hughes…I could never stop that anyways…I’ll be back soon to work I am sorry.”

“No…none of that…heal…and then we'll talk.” She smiled at them both understanding the magnitude of their love. “I leave you in good hands.” She looked towards Mary.

Mary smiled, “Thank you.” she whispered.

Ms. Hughes left, closing the door quietly.

Anna took a few spoonfuls of her food and drank some tea. “Mary, please take me to that part of the garden.” Anna said, begging.

Mary smiled. “Only when you’ve had some sustenance. Then yes, I promise.” She leaned forward and kissed Anna’s head.

Anna did well with her breakfast and finally put her spoon down, not finishing the entire bowl.

“Oh alright then…can I please go outside?” Anna said sarcastically, noting that Mary was looking not at her but the carpet. “Mary?”

Mary looked up. “Yes my love. Let me dress you and we will go.”

“You must eat something as well…Go down and eat something…with your sisters and family and I’ll get ready..”

“No…let me get you ready please…” Mary said harshly.

Anna realized she was not going to win this argument. “Ready me and I will lay here and read…but you must eat something as well.”

Mary took the tray and put it on the table next to the bedside and helped Anna up. “Well then.”

Mary only left Anna’s hands when she felt she was stable enough. “I only have one of your old maid’s uniforms…the black…but I don’t have the-”

“That’s perfect…nobody will think that I am anything else but your maid…and if I recall you like that outfit on me or am I wrong?”

Mary looked at her with one of her withering stares. “It is my favorite ... .you want me to put your maids uniform on you? I don’t have the apron just the black-”

“That’s fine by me…” Anna pulled Mary’s face towards hers. “Kiss me please.”

Mary smiled and kissed her and Anna pressed her face into hers deepening the kiss. “My love…I can dress myself…please go and eat something…I’ll be here ready for you when you return.” Anna pressed her hands down Mary’s arms.

Mary was hesitant. “I don’t want to leave you….may I have Gwen come up and help you? Or Thomas? Since you have ....divulged that he is not…I cannot believe I didn't see that sooner.”

“Yes, have Gwen help me or Thomas…and I’ll be dressed and ready when you are back from breakfast…you also need to eat something…Just as long you promise to come back to me…” Anna gripped her arm tightly. “Oh I just remembered that I should accompany you to dinner tonight with your family.” Anna almost looked annoyed.

“Your family.” Mary said finitely. “Unfortunately they’re your family now too.” Mary raised her eyebrow at Anna. “Most unfortunately…You’ve not had an interaction with Granny yet… However I do think she will be at dinner tonight.” Mary stood up and kissed Anna. “Are you sure?”

“Yes go. I’ll be dressed and ready for you when you’re back.” Ann said, placing her hand on Mary’s arm.

Mary was still hesitant. “Alright then…do not leave this room without me.”

*****

Mary was having breakfast with her family trying to speak about something other than her relationship with Anna.

Mary took a bite of her eggs and took a sip of her tea. “Matthew has mentioned that he’d like me to take more interest in the estate and I plan to do so…I also…” Mary was suddenly nervous at the next bit of information she would divulge to her father. “ I also will be…sort of…shadowing Anna when she is well again so I can gain what it is to work in a house like ours…I feel it would help me.”

Robert dropped his paper and sat forward in his chair. “Do a maids work? That is what you want to do? My daughter?”

Sibyl, ever the saviour, said, “Work is not above the posh, Papa. Mary wants to see how a day would feel for Anna….I also-”

“Oh do not start on the Irish chauffeur! Are you suddenly to drive me to Rippon now?” He started to get angry. “In fact I have half a mind to sack him today!”

Robert looked towards Edith for help. “Edith please tell me you haven’t fallen for some maid or servant of ours…be my saving grace for the love of holy-”

“If Sibyl falling for Branson is more scandalous than Mary falling for a woman then I’m not sure what I can say, Papa.” Edith stood up from the table and left the room.

Robert was trying to reign in his anger if only for his wife who demanded it even though she was not present. “No. I am sorry. I just find the idea of an Irish chauffeur stealing my daughter and filling her with thoughts of-”

“Papa this is so shocking for me as I have come out as a lesbian and yet Sibyl has fallen for an Irish man and yet you still find that more scandalous than what I have done.” Mary said in her haughty conversational tone. “You must hate socialism so much to dismiss my sins.” She placed her cup back on the table and stood up. “Sibyl you must thank Branson for helping Anna as much as he has.” Mary looked at her father sternly. “I’ll make my leave.” She left.

Mary walked back to her room to see Anna fully dressed and giggling with Thomas.

Thomas stood up instantly when Mary entered. Anna was sat on the edge of their bed in her black maids uniform.

“It's good to see you two laughing together.” Mary said with a slight tone of jealousy.

“We were only laughing because we have not had a night like we’ve had in the…in the courtyard like we had prior to…you both…running off is all…I apologize My Lady…” Thomas said, making his way to the door.

Mary made a point to help Anna down to the servants hall after dinner so Anna could have that time with her friend. “Do not apologize, Thomas. After dinner, if Anna is able too- I’ll help her so you both can have some time together.” Mary said, smiling at them both.

“Mary.” Anna was looking at her and her only.

Thomas nodded at Mary and left.

Mary went and sat next to Anna. “Well…how about it…would you like to come with me to the gardens…” Mary said nervously.

Anna could hear the hesitance in her voice. “My love…what is troubling you.” Anna kissed her cheek.

Mary smiled at her feet and shuffled. “I am not the best at being nice my darling and it drains me it seems…” Mary said, baring herself.

Anna laughed and knelt her head into Mary. “Oh my darling…you've never been particularly good at that and I still fell in love with you…doesn’t that count for something…and also.”

Anna stood up, “Besides…I thought you’d like to take me to where I can grow things…isn’t that correct?”

Anna was now knowing when she needed to harness Mary’s sadness over her.

“You said I could-”

“You will have everything you ask for.” Mary said, cutting her off. “What do you desire now?”

Mary was holding Anna’s hands sifting through her fingers when Anna leaned in and kissed her.

“You give me whatever I need.” Anna kissed her again. “I’d like to see the gardens…and maybe take this bandage off my face…I feel so hideous with it…” Anna peeled the gauze off the side of her face. “I don’t feel pretty at all at the moment.” Anna stood up pulling Mary with her. “However when you look at me…I do.”

Mary was torn between telling Anna off and telling her she was the most beautiful person she has ever seen.

“If you feel beautiful when I look at you then…I’ll have to look at you more…as you are still and always will be the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid eyes on my darling…” She gently pushed Anna’s face to the side so she could assess her face cut. “I do think I should reapply the salve and a new bandage but-”

Anna shook her head out of Mary’s hand. “No. It can breathe. I need to breathe…please.”

Mary nodded and they stood up and walked down the stairs and out the back lawn where she was holding Anna’s hand tightly.

“You wanted to see the area where you will grow flowers and write poetry?” Mary gripped her tightly.

Anna smiled. “Yes.”

Mary brought her to a place not far off from the arch that was in the garden.

“I’ll have a bench put here…and maybe a table…I can have someone till the ground…unless you’d like to do that yourself…I don’t know much about gardening…” Mary stood back showing Anna the small area for her to garden.

It was full of grass and weeds… a plot long forgotten.

Anna smiled and knelt down and pressed her hands to the earth and smiled. “Mary, this is wonderful.”

Mary smiled and looked down, not wanting to make eye contact with Anna. “I am glad I could at least provide this for you..like I said…I will ask for seeds from Mosely…which flower do you want to grow?”

Mary was pressing her dress down awaiting an answer anxiously.

Anna saw how nervous she was and walked forward. “Mary.”

Mary looked up at her finally. “Anna.”

“What is your favorite flower?”

Mary smiled. Her eyes glowing amber in the wavering sunlight. Anna wrapped herself around her middle kissing her neck. “I want to grow your favorite flower, my love.”

Mary laughed. “Well…in that case..” She laughed again holding Anna against her. “I’d like for you to grow me daffodils. I know that you’d have to plant them soon…so I’ll find you bulbs…if that’s what you want my love-”

Anna kissed her tenderly and they swayed in the back lawn holding one another.

“Then daffodils will be planted…if you can find them.” Anna said.

Mary was elated as she was when Anna said she could be called Anna Crawley.

“Really? You’d want to grow them for me?” Mary was smiling into her hair.

“What do you mean? Who do you think I’d want to grow flowers for my love? For someone else? If you want Daffodils then so it shall be!” Anna laughed.

Mary was smiling and holding Anna as tightly as she could without hurting her per her injuries. “My love…Oh my darling…Oh…”Mary said, kissing Anna’s head and face. “I love you so much…Don't ever leave me…” The same plea Anna had heard so many times that she didn’t fully understand even though Mary had given her an explanation…Anna knew it must be something else….

“Mary?” Anna asked.

“My darling?” Mary was smiling at her.

Anna saw her smiling face and decided to save the conversation for some other time and shook her head. “Nothing darling….I look forward to growing flowers for you.” She kissed Mary deeply. “However I’m growing tired…can you help me back to the house.”

Mary instantly started leading them back to the house.

Once Anna was upstairs in Mary’s bedroom Anna asked, “Does your family really want me for dinner again?”

Mary rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t matter my love…my darling… my dear…” Mary kissed her face so tenderly.

“Well it matters to me if they want me to be-”

“Anna Mae Crawley…do not let my father dictate when you need to be downstairs.” Mary knelt on the edge of the bed helping Anna.

Anna considered this before replying, “Mary.” Her eyes started to shut in tiredness.

There was a soft knock on the door and Cora entered. “Doctor Clarkson is here for Anna.” She said walking towards them. “Is this a good time for him to see Anna?” She asked.

Mary nodded. “Yes please…Thank you Mama…” Mary’s tone was once again evil only from the reason the doctor was visiting.

Cora went to the hall and summoned Clarkson.

“Anna…you are in good hands I see…” He approached her and Mary stood up and backed away.

“Now…” He looked hesitantly at Cora and Mary. “I will-”

“Clarkson we are both women please don’t soft step around us.” Cora said as she held onto Mary’s arm.

Clarkson nodded. “Anna, I'm going to do a pelvic exam…to see how you’re healing as well as-”

Anna nodded. “To see if I am with child.”

Clarkson smiled. “I do not think you are but if you are bleeding excessively then that isn’t the worst thing…”

Anna nodded.

“Has…has any of your bleeding been more prominent during your cycle?”

“Yes.”

He smiled kindly. “Well that is good then.”

He lifted the blanket up and moved Anna’s leg to one side when Mary was quickly at her side.

“Anna when you are ready.” He said looking at Mary who was holding onto Anna.

“I’m ready.”

He examined her. She was bleeding more than normal and he felt her stomach pushing downward. “Anna, have you had excessive cramping?”

“Yes.” She answered as Mary held her.

He stood up pulling her garments up replacing her napkin. “Well then, I think you are not…with child…so no further procedures will be needed…”

Cora looked at him with concern. “And you are sure?”

“This amount of bleeding seems to be a….” He looked at both women and then Anna. “A misscarriage….so there will be no-”

“Thank god!” Anna said through the tears. “Oh my goodness….I…Oh my goodness I would kill myself if it was anything otherwise!”

Mary was suddenly beside herself with a seething tongue. “Don’t ever utter those words to me again. Not. Ever.”

Anna raised her eyebrows. “I’m sorry.” She sat up as Dr. Clarkson pulled the blanket up her waist.

Cora ushered the Doctor out of the room who looked concerned. “Doctor Clarkson, let's have them discuss this on their own.”

“Yes I see that…”

They left the room quickly.

Mary was beside herself and stood up and was clenching and unclenching her fists. “I am sorry Anna but…I must have done something for you to want to leave me as you’ve said it so many times…on so many occasions…you're here in my bed…and yet you say….if you’re…you’d end your life…do you not grasp that I would also…” Mary was beside herself. “You would…kill yourself if you were-”

“Mary!” Anna was trying to harness her.

“Do not speak to me like this now... Not at this moment darling. How would you feel? Reverse this! How would you feel if I said I-”

“Mary, I am sorry I didn't mean it…not really!”

“Don’t FUCKING say that to me.”

Anna sat up fully and stood up and pushed Mary against the door. “Stop it! Right now!”

“Well tell me how you would feel if I had said the same?” Mary said.

Mary flipped them so Anna was against the door. Mary’s favorite spot for her. “Tell me now!” She demanded.

Anna sighed, pressing her hands against Mary’s arms. “I’d feel like I had failed you…in showing you how much I love you…I was not thinking…only how I felt and not how you would-”

Mary walked away. “I don’t know what else I can do to convince you that I want you.”

She pressed a hand over her mouth. “I need to leave…Please lay down…and rest…” She pushed Anna softly from the door and left.

*****

Mary shut her bedroom door and walked towards the servants door- someplace she had now found solace at. She took the stairs down to the hall and saw how all of them looked at her without question at this point. She was looking for Barrow…it was before dinner and he was sure to be busy…

“My Lady?” Ms. Hughes approached her. “Is there something I can?-”

“I was looking for Thomas is all.” Mary was holding back her tears and anger, her hands forming fists and then relaxing trying to hold her demeanour. “Will you tell him I am looking for him please?” She walked towards the door that led to the courtyard and threw it open. An anger she didn’t know was possible was rising in her. She sat down on one of the empty crates and screamed as loud as she could. Her breath leaving her mouth like she was some sort of dragon.

“My Lady.” Thomas hopped down the steps and quickly was at her side. “My Lady?”

“Mary…just fucking call me Mary.” She said starting to sob.

“My- Mary…Is Anna all right?” His eyes were full of the worst thought possible. “Is Anna?”

“No Thomas…she is not with child…thank god…however…she said she’d kill herself if she was and I cannot think of a way to tell her how much I love her that will convince her that I do.” Mary grabbed his hand and started sobbing fully.

Thomas held her hand and was taking in this information as well which was much the same as Mary had taken it. “There there My Lady…alright…” He soothed her as much as he could… two black cats trying to calm one another down. “Anna said if she were she’d kill herself?”

Mary let out a guttural sob. “Yes…she’d leave me…you…I left her in our room…because I couldn’t fathom speaking to her as I am in this state. I can’t decide if I am angry at her or feel so much sadness. I am beside myself.” she leaned into Thomas’s shoulder and let out another loud cry.

He sat holding Lady Mary feeling both shocked at the interaction and angry at the fact that Anna had spoken those words to her…and that she would have left him if the worst was to happen.

“I can’t help but feel the same way My- Mary.” Thomas held a hand up to his mouth to stop himself from crying.

Mary sat up from his shoulder looking at him. His face was streaming with tears and he wiped them quickly.

“I will have that man tortured.” Mary’s evil eyes were in full force. “What can I do to help you with finding out whom he is?” Her resolve was forming and she wiped her eyes and gripped Thomas’s hand tightly. “How can I help?”

Thomas gripped her hand as well looking at her seeing how desperate she was. He gently reached over and pressed his free hand down her arm and settled it on her hand trying to calm her anger. “Nothing….I will take care of it My Lady…Mary ... .I will find who he is.” His eyes also reflected the same murderous glare.

Mary nodded and they sat together in the courtyard. The steam almost coming off their bodies from their rage.

“Anna has been the only person in my life to be kind to me…” Thomas suddenly said as they still sat holding one another. Thomas with his hand on Mary’s arm. Mary’s hand in Thomas’s.

“Oh?” She looked up at him, her dark brown eyes curious. “Why is that?”

Thomas chuckled. “I’m not a very likeable person, My Lady.” Thomas gripped her hand tightly. “I’m not sure why…I just feel I have to be…stern…or…rather…mean in order to get anyone to take me seriously…I also…cannot have love…not the love I want.” He smiled towards the cobblestone ground.

Mary didn’t pull away from his hands but felt so much comfort from it. “I’m sure you’ll find someone who will love you in the way you want, Barrow…just like I found Anna.”

He laughed. “Oh well…perhaps….however…what you and Anna have is quite beautiful really…something out of a novel. Anna told me that she…” He stopped chuckling to himself.

Mary tightened her grip on his hand. “She told you what?”

Thomas recalled the interaction. “She was falling into dark waters…something she couldn't free herself from…something she had to give into. Something she couldn’t come back from…this was ages ago…when she still believed nothing would happen. I think her words tonight were still from disbelief that you even love her at all. She loves you, My Lady. She loves you deeply…and always has.”

This made Mary cry harder and she leaned her head onto Thomas’s shoulder.

He sat with her until she regained herself.

“Oh I am sorry, Barrow-”

“Thomas. Call me Thomas ...if I am to call you Mary.” He smiled.

“Well…I am sorry Thomas…this is not in your job description. Consoling the Earl’s eldest for she has fallen for her maid.” Mary wiped her eyes, finally releasing Thomas’s hand. “How unfair of someone of such a high status to rely on their staff to console them when-”

“Mary.”

She looked up at him as he interrupted her. “What?”

“This isn’t something I am doing for my job…but something I am doing for the love of my best friend. I will say this.” He turned looking at her fully, noting that it was closing time for him to be back at work. “Anna says these things to you because they are things not often optional for us…she isn’t accustomed to having such privilege…if you’ll allow me to say.”

Mary took this information in and immediately felt a pit in her stomach from leaving Anna the way she had.

“Yes, Barrow…sorry…Thomas….yes…” She smiled standing up. “I am sorry I’m sure you’re needed in the dining room…thank you…”

Thomas stood up as well walking her towards the door.

“I hope we can be friends as well…Anna adores you…and if Anna adores you then I shall as well.” Mary said.

Thomas felt this genuinely. “Yes, My Lady…Yes Mary.” He held open the door for her.

“I fear I’m late for the gong…I’ll see if Anna still wants me…or want’s to go down for dinner I know-”

“She will.” He smiled and left opposite her.

Mary made her way through the servants hall and up the long stairs back to her bedroom and hesitantly opened the door to find Anna already dressing herself.

Anna looked at her. Her corset on. Her dress she had pulled over herself and she was attempting to pull her hair back.

Mary stood at the door breathing heavily. “I’m sorry.”

Anna looked like she was between anger and sorrow.

“No bother…would you like me to come to dinner…I’ve dressed myself for it…I can help you…” Anna’s voice wavered and she wasn’t making eye contact with Mary.

Mary approached her softly. “Anna…” She placed a hand on her back. “Anna I…”

“It’s fine, Mary….it’s my fault anyways.” Anna said, pinning her hair back the best she could. Her long blonde locks loosely around her face. “I understand I upset you. I wish you’d have let me speak to you before running off however-”

“I’m sorry!” Mary said loudly and turned Anna around causing her hair to fall around her face.

They were face to face. Both of them clearly upset.

Anna’s eyes started to tear up. “Why did you leave me?”

Mary started crying in full earnest. “Because I am a coward.” Mary placed her hands around Anna and pulled her close. “Because I couldn’t fathom the idea of you…unaliving yourself…because I was a…because I’m a bitch.”

Anna pulled away. “A bitch? Mary!” She put a hand across her face delicately. “Mary Crawley…”

“May I kiss you…Anna?” Mary asked.

They looked at one another intensely when Anna leaned in and kissed her. Their lips caressing together like it was the first time they had ever met. Mary sighing out her fears and Anna clutching to her as if she were going to disappear again however as it always was they were suddenly lost in each other. Mary’s tears slightly falling onto their lips and Anna pulling her mouth closer. Mary couldn’t handle it and pressed Anna so close to her body she let out a moan into Anna’s mouth which Anna responded the same by gripping Mary’s side tightly.

“Anna…oh my…my darling…” Mary pulled back and was breathing heavily noticing that Anna was losing her resolve as well and leaned her head to the side so as to give Mary more access to her skin. “I would love you from afar as long as I could see you smile my darling…” Mary caressed her lips along Anna’s neck and then kissed her so deeply her tongue wrapped around Anna’s and her hands were softly touching her torso when she stopped. “Oh…my love…” Mary nuzzled her face into Anna’s almost purring. “We have to-”

Anna stepped back showing Mary her dress.

“This is not a fancy dress however if you’d like me to go do dinner in my nightgown I’ll change once again.” Anna said.

“You look beautiful….I guess I should change myself.” Mary said pushing the thoughts she had about what she’d like to do to Anna if she wasn’t in the state she was in.

Anna started her normal routine of picking the dress from the wardrobe when Mary stopped her. “No…I can just wear this…”

Anna looked confused. “You want to attend dinner in your daywear?”

Mary looked at Anna’s befuddled face and placed her hands around her taking gentle care of the wound along her face. “It doesn’t matter…” She kissed her deeply.

Anna’s hands were around Mary.

“I won't leave you…don’t leave me…” Mary said so close to Anna’s lips it was barely a whisper.

Anna caressed her lips down Mary’s face and neck sighing out. “I won’t leave you.”

They kissed deeply again, Mary’s tongue wrapping around Anna’s which made them both pull one another so close there was no space between their bodies when Anna finally pulled them apart.

“Mary…we have dinner with you family…” Anna’s eyes were shut as she spoke swaying on the spot.

“Yes…may I escort you…my love…” Mary pulled back and held Anna’s hand towards the door.

****
Mary led Anna down the stairs and they entered the library where her family was waiting for them.

“We weren't sure you’d be able to join us, Anna. I am glad you have.” Robert said pointedly.

The Dowager noted their attire however. “I see that the wardrobe is not important this evening.”

Anna sat down next to Mary on the red sofa. “I apologize…we’ve had a tumultuous evening your Ladyship.” Anna smiled at Violet.

“Oh no need to apologize…I am glad to see you smiling again, Anna. How are you healing?” The Dowager asked.

“She’s healing well Granny. Thank you for asking.” Mary responded.

“Oh but I asked Anna not you, Mary.” Violet said.

Anna smiled. “I am healing well…thank you for your concern…I apologize for our lateness again.” Anna looked over at Thomas who had a peculiar look on his face but brought a tray to her and Mary nonetheless.

“Thank you, Thomas.” Anna said, picking up the glass from the tray.

The Dowager looked at her and Mary pointedly. “Well…I am glad we have it all out in the open…such a terrible secret to keep.” She laughed to herself.

Robert looked confused. “How long did you know of this?”

Violet scoffed. “Robert, you are so blind.”

Edith and Sibyl looked at one another and decided to steer the conversation away from where their father was going but before they could Carson was gesturing them into the dining room.

“Well let’s go through then.” Robert said, watching all the women in his life file through the room towards the dining room.

Anna was of course sat next to Mary who would only let go of her hand when needed. She kept looking towards her with pleading eyes.

The dinner service proceeded and Thomas and William made their way around them with wine and food and when Thomas made his way to Anna and Mary he placed a soft press of his hand on Anna’s shoulder knowing that she had been hurt badly during the evening. “I think we should have a meeting later, shall we not oi?”

Anna laughed. “Yes please.” She said.

Mary saw her smile and made a mental note to make sure to take her to the courtyard either way after their dinner.

“Anna, did you look at the back gardens? I think Mary must have shown you where you can….grow…well…was it up to your standards?” Rober said, still trying to find his comfort with speaking to her.

Anna sipped her wine as her ribs were aching and her pelvis was aching. “Yes your Lordship. Lady Mary showed me a perfectly fine area for growing.” Anna winced to herself as she swallowed that only Mary noticed who placed a hand on her knee.

“Good. I’ll have the gardener make it ready for you…I also know you love reading so the library is of course at full liberty for you to indulge in…God knows it isn’t used often anyways for what it is intended for.” He smiled at her.

Anna was grateful. “Thank you, your Lordship.” Anna said as William brought the second course around.

“Anna, you must tell us about this poetry you write. Mary has said it’s divine…where do you draw your words from?” Cora asked.

Anna fiddled with her napkin trying to find words appropriate for her employers. “I simply find it in everyday life I suppose…I’m not sure however…I’ve only written several ones that were decent-”

“Would you read them to us sometime?” Edith said. “I also enjoy writing…I’m not sure if poetry is something I could do, however I’d like to read them.”

Anna smiled. “I’d love to, Lady Edith thank you.”

“Edith.” She nodded at her. “Just call me Edith.” She smiled and picked up her wine glass and sipped.

“Well then I’ll have to get used to…calling everyone at this table by their first names…shall I call the Dowager Violet as well then?” Anna’s humor was showing and it made Mary laugh as well as the rest of the table.

“Oh my darling only if you’re daring enough.” Mary said.

“No not daring but brave enough…however ....Anna…you can.” The Dowager said.

This made all of them laugh.

“On that note…I think maybe I should-” Sibyl started to speak when Robert stopped her.

“Not now. Please let me…please Sibyl.” Robert said.

Sibyl looked at her plate and Anna looked at her and placed a hand on her knee which Sibyl found very comforting. However Mary found this annoying.

“Is me falling in love with my maid not more daring that Sibyl falling in love with an Irishman?”

Robert stopped eating. “To be honest…I do find it more daring.”

Sibyl went to retaliate and Anna looked at her softly. “Small steps is what I’ve been told.”

Sibyl looked solemnly at her dinner. “Why must you be so opposed to Tom and I?”

Robert sat his fork down with a clank. “Why? Do you understand he does not?-”

“Robert.” The Dowager said. “Leave it for now…don’t you have enough to worry about…” She however continued her dinner as if nothing had happened.

Edith however couldn't leave the subject. “If Mary is in love with her maid and Sibyl is in love with the chauffeur what difference does any of it make, Papa?”

The dinner table was silent. Thomas and Carson stood still only slightly looking at one another as William left to grab the next course.

“Edith. Please…having a socialist driving me around…seducing my daughter….” He stammered.

For some reason this upset Mary.

“I’m sorry but how is Sibyls' predicament more dangerous than mine?”

Anna looked at Sibyl and they both stifled their laughter knowing that Mary was only upset that she wasn’t the main cause of her fathers troubles.

“And what are you laughing over?” Mary said, looking between them.

Cora took over the conversation. “Are you both hell bent on sending your poor father into a heart attack?” Cora looked at Edith. “If you have a sordid love affair with someone please just tell us my darling.” She smiled.

Edith laughed. “No I have no one…yet…” She took another bite of her dinner.

Cora smiled. “Not yet.”

Mary was still upset for some reason. “Papa, are you really so upset over?-”

“Over Sibyl being in love with the chauffeur, yes!”

The dining room was once again silenced.

“Robert please…we are just adjusting to Anna being in the dining room let’s give it time for Tom to be-”

“To be here as well! You know he hates houses like ours.” Robert tossed his napkin on his plate.

“Papa? You don’t know him!” Sibyl said.

Anna was looking between Mary and Cora. “Tom is a kind and honest person…I think with time you would-” She said.

“Do not speak to me.” Robert said sternly standing up. “I am sorry…I need to take my leave.”

He left the dining room.

Cora let out a sigh. “Well I don’t think your father was prepared for having daughters.” She looked at them. “However, I think we should follow him ... .Carson we’ll follow through now…”

Carson nodded and Anna followed suit as they all stood up. Her middle ached and her face started to throb but she pushed the pain aside as this deemed a very important moment for her and Mary and also for Tom and Sibyl.

They all stood up and went into the library where Robert was drinking his whiskey staring off into nothing. Cora and the rest of them found their seats however Anna chose to not sit and instead walk towards him and stand there at his side silently.

Mary was confused but also intent on watching her.

Robert poured her a glass and handed it to her with a solemn nod.

Anna took a sip still standing next to him. “My Lordship.”

The room was harnessed at her words.

“Have you never been terrified of your love for Her Ladyship….For…Cora…?” Anna said, shaking at the words she was speaking to him. “Has love never terrified you?”

Robert turned around and looked at her fully and then saw the rest of his girls looking at him. Edith, Sibyl, Mary, Cora, The Dowager.

“That’s such strong speech for an evening…I think-”

“Answer her, Robert…answer her honestly.” The Dowager said.

He stammered holding his glass in his hand turning it around and took a large drink before answering. “Love does terrify me, Anna.” He said.

Anna nodded and took a smaller sip of the glass that he had handed her. “Your daughter has said the same to me…you’re both very similar… is Sibyls love not terrifying for her as well.”

The room was watching them closely. Mary especially as she was waiting on pins and needles at how this interaction would go.

Robert was still holding her gaze when he turned towards the rest of the room as they all were awaiting his answer.

“Sibyl…you must have…Branson…Tom…Oh I don’t…” He was truly struggling.

Cora finished his sentence. “My darling have him up for dinner one night when he is ready.”

“Yes.” Robert said nodding into his drink. “I’ll turn in…thank you…Anna.” He quickly sat his drink down and left them.

Anna looked at Mary who shrugged and gestured for her to sit next to her on the couch.

“That was very kind of you, Anna.” Sibyl said, smiling at her lap. “I’m not sure if Papa will ever warm up to having Tom in the dining room but that was very kind of you thank you.” Sibyl smiled.

Mary still looked annoyed and Anna could tell and it amused her immensely.

“Mary, what has you so?” She asked.

Mary scoffed and shook her head. “I’m sorry but…the idea of having an Irish man fall for my sister is still more scandalous than his first born fall for a woman…baffles me…”

This made them all laugh except for the Dowager who stood up. “Well it’s not surprising to me…Barrow…please have the car pulled around for me…Mary walk me please…” She stood up as did Mary who was slightly shocked and looked at Anna.

“I’ll be back.” She said, placing a soft hand on her shoulder.

Mary led her grandmother out to the entrance hall as the car was brought around.

“I assume you have something to say to me.” Mary said.

The Dowager pulled her coat on tighter. “No…just leaving your beloved alone with you family for once without you…seemed like a fun experiment.” She smiled and left.

***

Mary left with the Dowager and Anna was fidgeting with her dress which was highly below whatever else the sisters and Mary’s mother were wearing. She didn’t know what to do with her hands so she just took a hefty drink from her glass and coughed.

“My goodness…is this what you all drink before and after dinner?” She said and immediately felt embarrassed.

Sibyl and Edith laughed.

“We have to be well garnished for dinners.” Cora said. She stood up and went and sat next to Anna.

“Now. Tell me more about yourself.” She placed a hand on Anna’s shoulder.

Anna was trying to not feel so displaced and harnessed her courage.

“What is it you’d like to know, My Lady?”

“Well first of all, call me Cora…and second of all…I know that you like poetry and gardening however what drew you to my daughter… she’s not the easiest to…well…” Cora laughed as did the girls.

“We are all baffled you of all people fell for Mary.” Sibyl said, looking at her sister.

“She’s a monster and you love her…” Edith said.

Anna found this the most disconcerting and it almost angered her.

“Mary has been the only person to care about me in my life…and she is actually quite loving if you must know…as for what drew me to Mary…”

Anna folded her hands in her lap trying to ignore the pains in her body. She wanted Mary to fold ice cold clothes on her wounds and kiss her face and was suddenly struck with the fact that she might be the only one who truly knew her.

“Mary is softer than you’d think…There was one moment…years ago…where I wasn’t well and Mary sent me back to my room and sent up something for me to eat and she herself brought it up and placed a hand across my forehead and she said…be well enough so I can see you tomorrow darling…and if you must know Mary has also written me poetry.” Anna said watching Mary enter the room again with a smile on her face.

“Granny is off. Anna, I think we should take you back upstairs…” Mary held out her hand for Anna’s as her sisters and mother watched. “You must be tired.” She started to lead her from the room and noted the silence.

“What?”

Her mother and sisters looked at her.

“Nothing my darling.” Cora said, summoning her daughters. “Anna should be in bed.”

***

Mary instead of leading her to her bedroom led her downstairs.

“Mary?” Anna asked.

“I think you and Barrow should have some time together.” Mary led her to the servants hall and upon seeing Thomas at the table he instantly stood up.

“My Lady.” He said.

“Thomas please make sure Anna makes it back to our room.” She let go of Anna’s hand and backed away before making her way towards the staircase.

Thomas looked at Anna with a grin and they both started laughing. The servants hall was practically empty aside from the kitchen maids.

“Well then…Join me in the courtyard…My Lady?”

Anna held her middle groaning in pain. “Oh do not with that all tonight I swear Thomas.” She said as he grabbed her hand and led her to the cold.

He lit a cigarette and pulled out his flask. Handing them to Anna who took it willingly.

“So?”

Anna smoked the cigarette and took a long pull from the flask. “So what?” She pushed it back at him.

“Your Lady was quite upset earlier…came down here looking for me.” Thomas ashed his smoke not looking at Anna. “Told me what you said.” He stood up away from her.

Anna knew what Mary had said to him. “I spoke out of turn…I only meant that-”

Thomas stomped out his smoke and turned to her with a look not unlike Mary’s. “You spoke out of turn? That you would kill yourself if you had been…I understand however I do not understand…are there not people whom love you? I fully understand Lady Mary’s rage…sorry…Mary’s rage…she asked me to call her Mary.” He added pulling another cigarette from his pocket.

Anna was on the verge of tears at the fact her words had caused such torment for the two people she loved the most. “Thomas I-”

“No.” He said turning towards her, handing his cigarette to her which she took willingly as her wounds were hurting and the nicotine helped.

“Anna…Lady-....Mary said to me…she didn’t know how else she could….convey her love for you…I suggest you listen to her…she has given up a lot for you and loves you a whole fucking lot.” He smiled, grabbing the flask back.

Anna closed her eyes knowing that the words she had said earlier in the day had caused a wave of torment. “ I just don’t believe it.” she held her middle. “Oh.”

Thomas was there pulling her up. “Let’s get you back then.”
****

Mary had Anna laying in her bed as she once again pressed the ice cold clothes against her bruises.

“Do you still want your face wound exposed or shall I dress it my darling?” Mary asked tentatively.

Anna adored how Mary was so attentive to her. “I think it is fine not under a bandage my love it’s not a deep cut.

The word ‘cut’ made Mary angry.

“Very well..” She smiled and pulled the cold clothes off Anna and placed them into the bowl Thomas had brought up.

Anna looked at her.

Mary placed the bowl down. “What is it?”

Anna shook her head holding her hand out for her “Please.”

Mary understood. She started to undress herself and crawled into bed next to Anna who immediately curled into her arms.

Their silence which had always been comfortable was somewhat dense this evening however. Anna was inhaling Mary’s neck and Mary was kissing Anna’s head, however both of them knew some words would need to be spoken.

“Anna.”

Mary was the first one to break the tension.

“I need you to know that…what you did for Sibyl was admirable…however…I once again have to apologize for how I behaved this evening…prior to our dinner.” Mary was looking at the ceiling.

Anna tried to prop herself up and failed when Mary helped her.

“Mary my love ... .I do love your family however the monarchy in it still baffles me…and also” Anna laid down on Mary’s chest and she could feel a smile on the top of her head. “However…I am shocked that your father finds Lady Sibyl being in love with and Irishman more scandalous that us…alarming…I mean should we not be the most-”

Mary started laughing and kissed her head. “Oh well I suppose my fathers disdain for the Irish triumphs his disdain for…us ... .it is funny isn’t it?” Mary kissed her hair again and caressed her arms.

Anna hummed into Mary’s arms, “Hmmm well then I guess Sibyl wins with who can be the most scandalous Crawley daughter doesn't she?”

Mary laughed. “Oh damn. I hate losing.”

Chapter Text

Thomas was making his way up to the hallway where Lady Mary and now Anna’s room was. Mary would be close to either going down for breakfast or requesting some to be brought up for Anna and as he anticipated this he already had a tray ready.

Knocking lightly on their door he heard Mary say he could come in.

“Thomas!” Anna smiled at him already sat up in bed. The color in her face coming back and the bruising now to a dullish brown and green. “Is that for me?”

“No it’s for me…thought I’d eat up here with you.” He joked placing it across her lap as Mary watched from her vanity finishing up her process of readying for the day.

“Well…thank you then…I’m starting to finally feel much better…I wonder when I’ll be allowed back to start working again.” Anna took a sip of her tea and started eating her breakfast.

“You’ll start working when I say you can.” Mary drawled… when she noticed that Barrow was looking at her pointedly nodding towards the door.

“I’ll be off…I’ll see you this evening, Anna…Lady Mary…” Thomas left.

Mary waited a few minutes before making an excuse to follow him.

“Darling I need to speak to Ms. Hughes, will you be alright if I leave you for a small moment?” Mary stood next to Anna who was eating her breakfast and looking at the paper Thomas left for her.

Anna smiled up at her and it melted Mary into a puddle. She was a walking version of sunshine and she had chosen to love her of all people. “Of course sweetheart.” The new nickname made Mary blush which didn’t go unnoticed by Anna. “Oh?” Anna said, taking another sip of her tea. “Thought you’d like that one.” She winked.

Mary just hummed and knelt down and kissed her. “I’ll be back soon.”

She left towards the servants hall as she assumed Barrow would be waiting for her in the courtyard. Mary smiled at the servants she passed trying to harness some of Anna’s gentleness and not wear her mean mask so openly. Especially if she wanted to try and work with Anna at one point which is something she was actually looking forward to doing as it not only gave her insight at how laborious the staff’s tasks were but also she would get to spend an entire day with Anna. The thought actually made her giggle.

Mary was greeted by several servants who were now accustomed to her presence there. She hoped some day they wouldn’t be so frightened of her…only time would help that she supposed.

She opened the door to the foggy courtyard and sure enough Barrow was standing there waiting for her smoking cigarette.

“I do apologize My Lady…however I have found out some of the information you requested.”

Mary’s heart started hammering…she knew….she assumed this was why he had wanted to speak to her in private. “Go on.” Her fists clenched in a nervous and yet fervently anxious way.

Thomas put out his smoke and walked closer to her looking around at the courtyard to make sure any eavesdroppers were not nearby. “I don’t know his name…however I do know he was transferred to a prison in London.” Thomas pulled out a small piece of paper and handed it to her. “Not a place for a Lady like yourself to-”

Mary only looked up at him with a withering stare.

“If you do…you must let someone accompany you…myself preferably.” Thomas said.

Mary was once again breathing a fire of anger. “Thank you.” She put the piece of paper inside her dress in her corset. Thomas raised his eyebrows and laughed to himself. “What? It’s not like I have pockets..anyways…what’s the next step?”

Thomas sighed out. “Well I still need to find out his name…I couldn’t exactly ask the officer as it would look suspicious…I only asked if the man who had harmed the Downton maid was still in custody…said I was her friend.”

Mary nodded taking in this information. “Are you sure there isn’t anything I can do to help?”

“My Lady you can’t exactly ask His Lordship to look into who this man is…not to worry I’ll take care of it…and if you ever want to…abandon the-”

“Absolutely not.” She said. Thomas was always impressed when her eyes went from soft to evil.

“Well…I’ll keep you informed when I find out his name.” He gestured for them to go inside before anyone walked in on their conversation.

“Thank you, Thomas…truly…” Her voice was breathy and full of anguish.

“Anything for our Anna, My Lady.”

******

Mary opened the door to their bedroom to find Anna dressing herself with some difficulty as her hand was still injured.

“Anna, why did you not wait for me?” Mary went forward to help her dress. “I was barely gone for long.”

Anna sighed out in exhaustion. “Yes, but I’d like to work up my strength before diving back into work…I know…which isn’t for some time…however dressing myself seems to be the first step, my love.”

Mary stood back. “Well then.” She said mockingly.

Anna was biting her lip and finally had the corset tied on her she exhaled. “Gods that was terrible…oh why don’t you help me then.” Anna held her injured hand away wincing.

“I know that hurt you…don’t try to hide it darling.” Mary couldn’t help but hold her from behind. Wrapping her arms around the corset and placing her face in the crook of Anna’s neck inhaling deeply. “Why is it you smell so intoxicating to me?” She kissed her neck and then turned her around so they were facing one another.

Anna smiled one of Mary’s favorites. The one that made her face scrunch. “I suppose it’s because you adore me?” Anna left Mary’s arms and picked up a dress Gwen had brought up for her to wear. Another blue one Mary had handed down to her. “Now that I think about it, Mary, you've only given me your old blue dresses…is that because of my eyes?” Anna blinked at her teasingly.

Mary pulled the dress from her hands and started to fit it around Anna. “This one wasn’t mine…I purchased it in Rippon…ages ago…I wanted you to have something nice to wear on your time off.” She started. “I saw it and thought it would look nice on you.” Mary casually said moving around to Anna’s front. “And I was right wasn’t I?”

Anna was still sometimes struck with these acts of affection Mary had done prior to them even becoming a couple. “Mary, I've had this dress for three years?”

Mary mimicked her from earlier and winked, “I did say I fell for you on the day of your arrival... now what is it you’d like to do today?” She sat Anna down in the chair in front of her vanity. “And would you like your hair up or down?”

Anna was still processing the information of Mary having purchased her a dress of her own accord when she looked up at her finally. “Down please.”

Mary smiled. “My favorite…yes my dear ... .may I try something? I saw it in a magazine and thought that it would look divine on you.”
Anna smiled. “Of course. Show me.” She sat still as Mary brushed her long blonde locks out and started the process of a fishtail braid. Her face was concentrated which made Anna adore her possibly even more. “Oh you have been wanting to try this.”

Mary was looping her long hair into the complicated braid looking at her sternly in the mirror. “I imagine wanting to try many things with you, Anna.” Her eyes darkened in that hungry way.

Anna decided to let that comment simmer simply watching and enjoying Mary’s fingers sifting through her hair.

Mary grabbed the black ribbon from the table and weaved it into the braid before tying it on the end. “Okay…well…not too bad for the first time.” She was looking at the braid with her brows furrowed. “I’ll get better with time of course…however I might need to practice on you from time to time when you won’t be going out into public.” She walked over to the wardrobe to grab their coats when Anna stood up stopping Mary from doing so.

“Is that all you’d like to practice on me?” She placed both of Mary’s hands in hers and pushed her gently against the wooden doors.

Mary quickly lost any semblance of a thought and stammered something inaudible trying to focus her thoughts from the sultry phrasing of what her lover had said. “Anna…”

Anna kissed her slowly and slid her hands up to hold Mary’s face. Their mouths melting into one another. Anna brushing her lips across Mary’s seeing how the effect was causing her to turn into a puddle. She pulled back. Both of their eyes were heavy with a desire that couldn’t be pursued. “You said I looked beautiful in red. Is that the one you were planning on putting on me?” She held her arms over Mary’s shoulders gesturing to the wardrobe seeing that Mary was still trying to bring herself back.

“Uh…Uhm Yes…the red coat does look marvelous on you…Oh Anna you must warn me next time you decide to do anything like that.” Mary looked a combination of perturbed and aroused. “My darling.” She added for good measure and pulled the red coat over Anna.

Anna looked at herself in the mirror. “Mary…wait, have you?”

“Oh I had Gwen fit it for you…that’s yours now darling.” Mary said offhandedly.

“Mary! This is too-”

“Stop.” Mary placed her coat over herself and pulled Anna into her arms as gently as she could when her thoughts were bouncing back and forth to her conversation with Barrow and what she really did want to try with Anna…uncouth as she would say. “It looks beautiful on you does it not?”

They stood in front of the mirror together. Anna’s long braid beautifully draped over her shoulder she fiddled with. “I love this, Mary, it does look nice.” She noticed that Mary was simply looking at the both of them together.

“It looks beautiful my love however seeing us together like this makes me…” Mary realized she had never seen them both together from another point of view. “We look good together…don’t we?” She looked over at Anna.

Anna turned so she could face Mary. “Yes. Yes we do.” Mary knelt in and kissed her quickly not wanting to start up her arousal anymore.

“Now…I thought we’d go for a walk…stretch your legs…sit outside…would you read to me?” Mary asked.

“I think that sounds like a fine idea, my sweets…” Anna adjusted her new elegant coat. “I can’t believe you’re gifting this to me, Mary, my goodness is it because of our seaside-”

“It’s because I want you to have it and you look beautiful in it. Now let’s go.” She led them out of the room.

****

Thomas was sitting in his dorm taking a break thinking how he could find out this mans name without it looking suspicious to the family and to him. Suppose he could go to the prison in London and simply ask…say it was a favor…say…oh fuck he couldn’t actually think of an excuse to find this mans name but he was determined…in his mind he envisioned Anna’s assault and her fear and it made him murderous…in the same way it made Lady Mary. However he was still uncertain as to what she had planned for when they found out whom he was…when she first told him she sounded like she wanted to-

“Thomas best come downstairs, Carson's been asking for you.” William was in the doorway to his room.

“Right.” Thomas stood up and put his thoughts on the back burner. He’d have to think extensively about how he’d go about this as to not only let Mary down ... .but he too wanted this man to suffer for what he had done.

*****

Mary sat Anna down on the bench they always chose. The one they had their first kiss at. Mary handed Anna some poetry book and asked her to read her something and listened to her beautiful voice mix with the breeze leaning into her head onto her shoulder feeling nothing but a bursting love in her heart she didn’t think was possible.

Anna finished the passage she was reading and looked over at Mary who was present but also not. Her amber eyes conflicted with something she had not divulged to her.

“Mary.”

“Anna.” Mary said, kissing her quickly. “What is it?”

“What was it you wanted to speak to Ms. Hughes about?”

Mary, who had never been good at lying, tried to hide her sudden nerves. “Just about me shadowing you when you start work again my darling….that’s all.”

Anna who was unconvinced narrowed her eyes at her. “That’s all? Is that why you followed Thomas out of your room so quickly?” She shut the book and placed it on the bench.

Mary was flustered trying to recover herself in the lie she has been telling by masking herself in the mean face she could easily slip into. “I was not following Thomas. I had only planned on speaking to Ms.Hughes this morning anyways…why must you always think I am keeping something from you? First I am lying to you about my love for you and then you question if I want to be with you-”

“Mary.” Anna stopped her. “I’m sorry…I can just tell you are distracted…I wont bring it up again sweetheart.”

The new nickname drew Mary from her lies. “Oh…I do like your new word for me…seems so adoring.” She leaned in and kissed Anna. “I promise you there is nothing to worry about…except maybe when I start to work with you- then you might have to worry.” Mary laughed holding Anna’s injured hand gently up. “Also I do believe we should see Clarkson for this. It might be time for you to take it out of the stint.”

Anna sighed. “Thank god…I am so tired of it.”

“Does it hurt still?”

Anna thought about it, scrunching her face. “Hmmm well…it does but not in a piercing way I suppose.’

“Well the doctor did say when you could move it without pain it would be ready to be free…should we try?” Mary asked, her eyes suddenly full of concern.

Anna took a deep breath and gently pulled the brace off. “Oh my wrist is sore…however let me try…” She tried to bend the joint without success. “Well…the nurse did say this might happen however it doesn't hurt…my wrist hurts more to be honest.” She began to put the brace back on when Mary was kneeling in front of her doing it for her.

“That’s the sprain…it’s early we can go see the doctor today if you are-” Mary noted that Anna’s eyes were full of fear suddenly. “Darling?” She gripped her arms. “I can have him come here…would that be better? Is going to the village too-”

“I just…oh Mary I am sorry.” Anna started to cry and put her hand over her mouth stifling her cries.

This moment made Mary even more resolved her plan with Barrow and she couldn’t help but look away from Anna with a fury she didn’t know how to harness.

“I will have him come here darling. You don’t have to go into-”

“Oh but I will someday…I’ll have to go to the shop…I’ll have to be where…where he…the whole time Mary I…I just thought of how I wanted to….” Anna was sobbing at the traumatic memory and Mary stood up and sat on the bench pulling her into her arms.

“I’m here if you need to talk about it…and I’m here if you just need me to hold you…whichever you need whatever you want my love.” Mary was stopping tears from falling from her eyes.

“He hit me so hard, Mary…” She whispered. “When he cut me…I screamed and he covered my mouth…and then he…with my hand…oh I can’t say it.” She was almost hyperventilating.

“If you need to tell me please.” Mary’s golden eyes furrowed.

“He…when he broke my hand…and started to…pull up my…all I could think was that I would never see you again.”

Mary soothed her the best she could. Anna’s head on her shoulder as the both of them cried. Mary tried to hide her sobs which turned into pure rage.

“I never want to be touched by anyone but you.” Anna said, lifting her tear soaked face to Mary’s. “Oh and now I’ve made you cry.”

Mary kissed her gently. “And I will be the only one to do so…love of my life.” She pressed Anna back onto her chest and rocked them softly. “You’ll never be hurt again.” Her seething was barely concealed.

*******
“Do you think Mary will bring Anna down to dine with us again?” Robert asked Cora as they were dressed for dinner. “I do feel bad if she is so tired after.” He pulled his jacket around him and buttoned the front.

Cora looked adoringly at her husband. “Does this mean you’d like to have Anna at the table with us?”
Robert scoffed. “I still find the entire thing…absurd…however…oh…Mary does seem to be bettered by it.”

Cora laughed. “She is. She loves her deeply, Robert and it is clear that that will not go away…now let’s go down and if they join us then they do and if they don't ... .they don’t.”

Robert silently agreed with his wife and they left their bedroom for the library.

Sibyl and Edith followed them.

“Are Mary and Anna joining us?” Edith asked taking a glass from Thomas. “ I do enjoy having her at the table with us.”

“Anna is a pure delight don’t you think Papa?” Sibyl said, trying to gain some sort of good grace with him.

Robert stood next to the fire and turned round with his best smile. “I never said she was anything but that.”

Cora looked at her youngest encouraging her to speak up about Tom when Mary and Anna entered. Anna was in a gown suited for dining with them. Her hair braided in the same way Mary had done earlier. Some powder over her bruises so they were concealed. She looked beautiful.

“Anna my goodness you’re a vision!” Cora said.

“Oh is that the gown Mary bought for you in London?’ Sibyl asked, standing up and examining the fabric.

Anna smiled looking down at it. “Yes I’m afraid it is.”

“She was right with her measurements.” Sibyl turned Anna around to look at the back of the dress. “Oh you look marvelous, Anna.” Sibyl said.

Mary was dressed in a simple black gown and gloves looking grim with her thoughts still on the information Thomas had divulged to her.

Carson entered the room and his eyes widened at the site of Anna. “Oh!” He said.

Anna looked at him and then towards the carpet. “Mr. Carson.”

“Doesn’t she look beautiful, Carson?” Mary said, looking between them.

Carson looked genuinely flustered with adoration. “She does My Lady…however…Anna has always looked beautiful.”

This astonished most of them but mostly Anna as the girls giggled.

“Mr.Carson!” She laughed following the family into the dining room.

Anna was the last to follow them through and Carson stopped her silently and smiled at her genuinely.

Anna was blushing and smiled. “Thank you.” She mouthed.

They all sat around the table. Anna between Mary and Cora this time.

“Anna, you must have more dresses like this one, it's stunning,” Cora said.

Anna’s face was shy but she was trying to learn from Mary and be more bold.

“Thank you, Your Ladyship.” She said, placing her napkin in her lap.

Thomas and William entered the dining room and both of them looked at Anna with a shock and awe as Thomas winked at her.

William made his way around the table with the wine and when he made it to Anna he said to her softly, “Anna you look lovely.”

Mary smiled looking down at her lap. She was hoping that this would become more of a normal dinner experience… when her grandmother entered.

“I am sorry for my lateness my chauffeur had-” She caught sight of Anna. The site of a blonde beautiful highborn sitting next to her granddaughter. “Oh never mind my chauffeur, Anna you are suitably dressed I see.” She sat down as Thomas pulled the chair out for her and pushed it in and she sat. “Thank you Barrow. You look lovely my dear.” She said softly. Perhaps with memories of someone she loved. The beautiful blonde she had mentioned. This wasn’t unnoticed by Mary.

“You know Granny…I appreciate the comments about how beautiful my Anna is, however I’m curious as to your beautiful blonde you’ve mentioned.” Mary took a sip of wine as she felt Anna’s hand clap her thigh in a do not say that sort of way.

Robert and Cora and the girls were looking between Mary and the Dowager who looked unphased.

“I’ll just say this. She was Russian and we had a marvelous time together before she was married.” She said this so casually Robert placed his wine glass down with his eyes wide looking at his mother.

“Mother? What-”

“Robert.” She said with a finality that caused him to pick his wine glass up and drain it motioning for William to refill it.

“Anna, how are you feeling?” The Dowager asked.

Anna was adjusting to speaking to the family in a conversational way but getting better at it. “Much better. I think I might have my hand finally out of this brace tomorrow.” She took a small bite of food and washed it down with a hefty sip of wine which led Thomas to refill her glass quickly with a small smile.

“We are so glad you are.” Violet answered.

The talk became less intense and less focused on Anna who was suddenly enjoying interacting with them all. This didn’t go unnoticed by Mary who found a delight in it.

Anna was smiling and she looked beautiful…not that she never did…but Mary couldn’t help but think that this would work.

The Dowager eventually addressed Anna again.

“Once you are healed for work again my dear will you serve us again? Do you wish to resume your work?”

This was something that was unknown to everyone around the table however to Anna she knew the answer.

“Yes. I’d like to start my work again and if serving dinner is something I’m asked of then I shall…however it will not be in the gown I am in.” She laughed seeing the ripple of smiles in the room.

“I think you shouldn’t serve and…dine with us instead…” Robert said as if he was struggling with the words.

Mary looked at her father. “Papa?”

“Well….and also….oh damn…Sibyl?”

He harnessed his youngest attention.

“I think we should properly meet Tom.”

Sibyl was smiling so widely she dropped her cutlery and cupped her hands in her lap. “Oh are you sure, Papa? Oh he’s such a fine man…please just give him a chance.”

Robert all but rolled his eyes. “I am in some sort of horrible play, however it seems to be my waking nightmare ... .Mary falling for her maid and you falling for the chauffeur…I do love you both so.” He once again drained his wine and Thomas quickly refilled it.

Sibyl was giggling. “Thank you Papa…I’ll have to ask him-”

“No. I will ask him.” He said sternly.

Mary looked still upset that he was so upset over Sibyl and Tom and not more about her and Anna. “Papa.” She harnessed his attention. “Have you fully accepted me and Anna then?”

Robert and the rest of the table went silent.

“No…however…just…give it time.” He said as their plates were being taken from them and the second course was being sat down. “Anna.” He said, harnessing her attention.

Anna looked up at him in her daze as she usually did at these dinners now trying to navigate them in a way that was appropriate. “Yes Your Lordship?”

He scoffed at the title but didn’t address it. “I’ve purchased some seeds from a local gardener and if you’d like to… when you’re well enough I’ll have ours ready the plot for your flowers.” He resumed his dinner and when he didn’t hear anyone else doing so he looked up. “What is it?”

Cora was looking adoringly at her husband. Sibyl was smiling at her lap. Edith was holding a hand over her mouth to cover her smile. Mary was on the verge of tears. Anna was panicking for some reason.

“Oh well…that’s very kind of you…I’m not sure what to say..” She said when Mary jumped in.

“Thank you Papa.” She said softly as he nodded at her.

*****

Mary was leading Anna out of the library after dinner and held onto her arm gently. “Would you like to see Thomas? Or are you tired and need to rest darling?” She kissed the side of her face.

Anna was exhilarated for some reason from their dinner. “If you don’t mind I’d like to go down and see Thomas…I feel strange going down in such a gown however?”

“My love, they'll have to become accustomed to it at some point.” Mary drawled.

“I suppose you’re right…however…would you join me this time?” She asked hesitantly.

Mary was nervous at the prospect especially as her and Thomas had a secret plan they were plotting however she could never say no to Anna. “Of course.” She said and they walked down the steps to the servants hall where Thomas was waiting for them in the courtyard looking slightly shocked at seeing the both of them.

“Oh both of you?” He said not knowing if he should hand Anna a cigarette or not.

Mary sat Anna next to her on one of the empty crates and gestured for Thomas to sit on Anna’s other side. “Barrow, Anna has requested I join her on her ruffian habits ... .don't mind me.” She smoothed out her dress and suddenly found the cold air comforting on her hot skin.

He raised his eyebrows and lit a cigarette for Anna and she took it and inhaled deeply with her other hand reaching for his secret flask which he was hesitant to offer in the presence of Lady Mary.

Mary gave him another stare.

He handed it over.

“Oh is this how you became so daring in the evenings?” Mary asked Anna.

Anna offered the cigarette to Mary who thought for about three seconds before taking it and inhaling a long drag.

Thomas thought the scene he was seeing was something out of a fever dream. “Well I guess I’ve seen everything then.”

“Come now Barrow…Thomas…If you are Anna’s best friend then you’ll have to get used to us.” She took another drag and sighed. “Oh I do like this…I never understood why the men were able to enjoy their after dinner cigars and we were made to play cards.” Mary pondered taking another drag and reaching for the flask Anna had not touched as she was watching Mary smoke.

“Oh this is a sight to behold.” Anna said, handing over the flask. “Be careful it’s-”

Mary took a large pull of the flask and swallowed without a flinch of her face. “Oh well…this isn’t nearly as strong as the stuff we drink prior and after.” She leaned back looking up at the clear sky.

“I can attest to that…how you even make it into the dining room after those drinks is a mystery to me.” Anna said.

Thomas sat down finally on the other side of Anna and lit another smoke and handed it to Anna as hers was taken over by Mary.

“What a site….Lady Mary Crawley…with her lover Anna Mae Smith…smoking and drinking on some crates on the courtyard.” Thomas said daringly.

Mary knelt forward to look at Thomas with another glare.

“Oh I apologize My Lady-” Thomas started to back track his words when Mary stopped him.

“What else should I do to be more sinful? This?” She took a deep inhale of her smoke and exhaled it and leaned forward and kissed Anna.

Thomas started laughing at the site. “Another image for the books.” He offered the flask to Mary again who took it graciously. “Oh this is much more enjoyable than spending time in the library with my family after dinner…we should do this instead my darling.” She leaned her head onto Anna’s.

“What is it you enjoy about it My Lady?” Thomas asked.

Mary smoked her cigarette enjoying the buzz from both the nicotine and the liquor. “I suppose I feel more connected with Anna…as if she just…sort of… spent an evening in my life and now I can spend an evening in hers.”

Anna laughed. “Mary.” She clutched her shoulder laughing. “This isn’t normally my evening…”

Thomas looked offended. “Oh I’m sorry remember when you-”

“Thomas no!” Anna said.

Mary pipped up. “No, tell me!” She looked between the both of them.

“My Lady..Sorry…Mary…one evening…Anna was serving dinner and ... .my god you both are so dramatic with one another…but you had an interaction at dinner that sent our Anna into a spiral and that’s when it became more normal.” Thomas looked at Anna who was trying her best to compose herself.

“Oh and what interactions was that my darling?’ Mary asked Anna as she tossed her cigarette on the ground and before she could stomp it out Thomas did it for her.

“Damnit Mary it was on multiple occasions.” Anna said doing the same, taking another hefty pull from Thomas’s flask before she handed it back to him. “Anytime we whispered into one another's ears as I was serving you wine I’d have to come out here for fresh air.”

Thomas was laughing in earnest. “Tell her about the-”

Ms.Hughes opened the door and all of them stood up.

“Oh… My Lady…I was just looking for Thomas….but if you’re-”

Mary stood up helping Anna as well and Thomas walked around them making his way to the door. “I apologize Ms.Hughes.” She nodded at Thomas.

“Very well…” She looked genuinely confused but also delighted at the same time. “My Lady may we-”

“No. I’ll take Anna upstairs. I apologize.” Her polite, very well studied answers appeared.

Thomas smiled at both of them and left and Mary and Anna made their way up to their room however, before Mary stopped them in the foyer.

“My darling…remember us dancing here…” Mary said making sure she wouldn’t hurt Anna’s injured hand. “Would you still like to dance with me?”

Anna giggled and fell into her arms. “I’ll always want to dance with you.”

Mary swayed them softly not caring if anyone watched them ... .most of the family had retired for the evening however as she swayed her and Anna around as they both laughed she could see her father out of the corner of her eye watching them and she stopped their movements.

“Papa…I am sorry…we were just going to bed.” She said seeing the look on Anna’s face.

He shook his head and walked past them. “Do not let me stop you…however…music would help.” He said and made his way up the stairs.

Anna and Mary watched him until he was out of view and then looked at one another.

“I told you I would find music for us to dance to…even if it is in an empty hall.” Mary pulled her closer and kissed her.

Anna pulled back from the kiss. “Yes. You did.” She kissed her again deeply and Mary responded as equally moving her mouth across Anna’s in the open freedom of their secret.

******

Thomas was using his day off to travel to London for some ‘recreational time’ as he told Mr.Carson. However he had the name of the prison in his pocket and had his speech ready for why he was there for the prison guards. He was shocked he didn’t feel more nervous…his nerves were occupied with what he imagined to be Anna’s attack was like…this evil monster bruising her and ... ..the sounds of Anna screaming for help…was the only thing he could think of when he approached the prison.

The guard at the gate nodded at him politely.

“And what you have business here for?” He cocked his head to the side looking at Thomas.

“There’s a man held here…he assaulted a Lady from Downton Abbey…I wish to only know his name...I believe he is someone I used to know.”

The guard nodded. “Ah. The Lady’s Maid who was raped yes….” He flipped through a book and Thomas waited.

“Alex Green ... .He was transferred here…is this someone the Lord Grantham is looking into?” He asked.

“No. Not in the slightest…I however used to know this man and would like to speak to him if possible?” Thomas’s resolve not faltering. “I don’t know Lord Grantham, however I did know…Alex…”

The guard understood. “Right well.” He opened the second gate for him to enter and led him to a room and locked the door behind him.

Thomas was still fueled by adrenaline and anger and watched the guard bring the man in. His hair was greasy and his face was set with a smirk which only made Thomas’s anger flare.

The guard sat the prisoner opposite him across the table, his hands and feet cuffed. “I trust you’ll not do anything fishy than?” The guard made to leave the room when Thomas looked at him with a smile.

“Not at all officer.”

He was alone with Anna’s attacker. The man who had raped his best friend. The man who had done so much damage to Anna she was barely able to walk the stairs.

“Who in the hell are you?” Mr. Green asked, leaning back in his chair.

Thomas was biting the inside of his mouth so tight he was surprised blood wasn’t pouring out of his mouth.

“I am nobody…Alex….just wanted to meet you is all…just wanted to see you so detained.” Thomas sat forward on his chair. “And to tell you…to count your fucking minutes. I know your face and your name now…you haven’t spared yourself from the worst.” He stood up when the man spoke up.

“Is this about that blonde…she was so fun…sad to say she was the last however…I’m glad she was. She was so soft you see-”

“And you will regret every moment of that I can assure you…Mr.Green.” Thomas leaned forward on the table before leaving.

He nodded at the guard who stepped forward to pull up the man and take him back to his jail cell.

Thomas was leaving when he suddenly had a spark of an idea.

“Sir. Do you ever allow mail to the inmates?” He asked.

The guard nodded. “Aye. We do. However, why someone would want to send this monster something is beyond me.”

“Not to worry…Just asking…thank you for your time.”

Thomas left the prison for the train to take him back to Downton.

****

“I thought I’d give you full access to our library without you having to steal-”

“Mary, I never stole anything! I just borrowed… and it’s such an extensive library…I’ve never seen anyone plucking anything off the shelves.” Anna said as Mary led her into the library.

Anna’s face bruises were practically healed and her stitches in her face had been removed which Anna had mentioned on a few occasions that her scar was a now new ugly addition to her features which Mary squashed down. Her hand was now out of the brace and her sprain healing. Mary still insisted on pressing cold clothes on her side and hand prior to them sleeping, however Anna’s spirits were starting to move past the event.

“Whether you stole them or not my dear I have one book I’d like you to read ... .I placed an order for it…and it arrived…” Mary’s smile was infectious.

“Mary?” Anna was giggling.

Mary went to her fathers desk and picked up a package for her. “Well…I had Papa order it…but just know it is from me.” She sat them both down on the red couch.

“So mysterious.” Anna folded open the brown wrappings to find a detailed book on how to garden.

She flipped through the pages excitedly noting that it also explained which flowers to grow during which season…how to properly grow them…how much sunlight and shade they needed…

“Mary!” She smiled up at her. She continued to pursue the book as Mary watched her with such an adoring gaze neither of them saw someone else had entered the room.

Anna finally noticed and looked up to see Thomas. “Oh Thomas! Look!’ He walked over to her as she showed him the book and he indulged her as she talked to him about plants.

“So which ones will you grow for me then?” He smirked. “How bout this one?” He pointed to some random flower.

“If that’s what you want!’ Anna was smiling while reading her new book when Thomas looked at Mary with a knowing look which Mary understood.

“My Lady I was sent to collect you…Lady Grantham was looking for you.” He said.

Anna looked at Mary. “Oh don’t let your mother wait…may I stay here and read?”

Mary kissed her softly. “Yes darling….I’ll be quick.” She said caressing Anna’s arm.

She followed Barrow out of the library and he led them down to the servants hall and through the back door. Mary nodded politely at them and then saw Ms. Hughes whom she also smiled at…however she was quickly becoming privy to these secret meetings they were having.

Thomas shut the door behind them and looked around the courtyard. “I know his name. I met with him.”

Mary’s body shivered with anger and nerves. “You did?”

“Yes.” He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her. “That’s his name…” He said, looking at Mary grimly. “And I will say he had no fucking remorse for what he did he-” Thomas clutched a hand over his mouth and turned away from Mary.

“What did he say?” Mary’s eyes were full of fury. “What did he say, Thomas?”

Thomas turned back around to her trying to hold his anger in. “Nothing good My-”

Mary grabbed his arms tightly. “Tell me what he fucking said.”

Thomas knew when she used this type of language it meant she was furiously serious.

“I don’t think it’s something you need to hear-”

Mary shook his arm. “You will tell me. Now.”

Thomas looked down. “He said she was fun and soft…and glad she was his last…”

Mary had to turn around from him and hold herself. Her arms dug deep into her sides. “And what did you say to him?”

Thomas had the same murderous look in his eyes. “I said I was glad to see his face and that he would regret every moment of that event.” Thomas was trying to reign Mary back from her rage which was something not easily accomplished. “Mary.” He said.

She turned around and looked at him, her eyes dark.

“I will go and see him.” She said with a finality that Thomas couldn’t argue with.

“Then I will go with you.”

*****

Mary and Thomas parted ways as he was summoned for his house duties. She walked back to the library trying to regain her posture for Anna. Now that she knew what he did and his name…

She entered the library and saw her father and Anna speaking and found another source of nerves.

“Papa?” She held her head up and smiled. “I gave Anna the book I asked you to order.”

Robert looked at her smiling sitting next to Anna on the sofa. “I see that! I was just asking Anna if she found it informative.” He stood up. “Well. I hope to see you both at dinner.” he looked at Anna and Mary both.

“So we will be Your Lordship.” Anna responded, noticing Mary’s mood.

He left the library.

“And what was it my father had to say to you?’ Mary approached her and sat down kissing her cheek.

“Your father was very polite and kind, Mary…you must give him some leeway as this must be so daunting for him.” Anna closed the book still curious as to Mary’s secret escapes as of late.

She stood up pulling Mary with her. “And how was your mother?” She asked not making eye contact with her. “What was it she needed?”

Mary shrugged. “Nothing important darling.” Mary said, walking them back to their room. “I think tomorrow if you’d like…we can start working.” she said, hoping to distract her.

She was successful.

“Us?”

“My darling, I did say I’d like to shadow your work and I would like very much now that you are well enough. However, if you’d like to rather not work that is-”

“Oh I’d like to work…it feels wrong not to.” Anna smiled at her however Mary’s words sounded as if she was forcing them from something else.

“Good. Would you like to start tomorrow then?” Mary asked, holding open their bedroom door.

Anna laughed. “Shouldn’t we sleep in my bed in the dorms for you to gain the full experience?” She mocked and pulled Mary into her arms.

Mary held onto her tightly…more than she should. “Only if we want to send poor Gwen out of the room….she shouldn’t be subjected to me kissing you until we fall asleep.” Mary sat Anna down on their bed. “Now. I asked Daisy to wake us…so I can join you.” She kissed Anna.

Anna smiled, “Is this why you went downstairs instead of up to your mother?”

Mary was caught in her lie but decided to run with it. “Yes.”

Anna wasn’t convinced however humored Mary. “Alright then. Tomorrow morning we’ll wake and have breakfast at the servants table and start work…however…not having you to deal with takes a load off of my chore list.”

Chapter Text

Anna woke up before five and stirred Mary. “Darling it’s time.” She stood up out of the bed and grabbed her maids uniform. “Mary.” She said again kissing her face.

Mary was stirring slightly. “Surely it’s not?” She murmured.

Anna was almost already in her uniform eager to start her duties as she had before. “You don’t have to you know….you can sleep peacefully and then some horrible maid will be sent up to you so you can be dressed and then-”

Mary sat up and got out of bed. “No…I just didn’t hear the knock is all…Okay…” She walked over to her wardrobe and started to pull out an outfit suitable. “This is the one that started it all.” She was rubbing her eyes and trying to sluff off the sleepiness.

“This one would be best for what your duties will be…My Lady..” She said beginning her fitting of Mary.

“Oh…shouldn’t I be doing this…shouldn’t I be doing something else?” Mary was still waking up.

Anna laughed. “Oh are you not accustomed to being up this early my darling? I thought you wanted to shadow my duties…one of them…the most important is dressing you.” She started dressing Mary in a simple skirt and blouse and when she was finished she sat her down and pulled her hair up into a simple knot. “Now. We must go downstairs.”

“Will there be tea?” Mary said with her eyes still half closed.

“Yes my darling…let’s wake you up…” Anna grabbed her hands and pulled her into her arms and kissed her. “You know…you don’t have to do this-”

Mary was starting to wake up more. “No. I don’t. But I am and will…I do think it would help me and also…I get to spend the day with you…” Mary grabbed Anna as she was going to leave and pulled her into a tight hug.

Anna laughed. “I see…well then…” She turned around and kissed Mary. “Let’s go and wake up fully.”

Mary followed her from her room. “Is this how you are when you normally wake?”

Anna grabbed her hand and led her towards the servants door which was already loud with bustling people. “ I awake at five…and then have some tea and breakfast…and mend or clean anything you need for your day…and then at eight I go up and attend to you.” She said as they were at the top of the stairs.

Mary scoffed. “Well your lady should be scorned for making you awake at such an hour…”

Mary and Anna entered the servants hall as everyone stood up at seeing Mary.

“No need…I’m only following Anna around as she does her work…I am going to be an agent of this estate and I feel knowing the chores that come with being a ... .servant ... .I feel like I should know.” Mary sat down at the head of the table next to Carson who pulled out a chair for her looking disapprovingly at Ms. Hughes. “Thank you Carson.” She said still visibly sleepy.

“Are you having breakfast with us, Lady Mary?” Daisy asked, placing a dish in front of her and pouring her some tea.

The servants laughed and Anna looked at them sternly and they stifled.

“No I understand…it’s absurd…however…as I have fallen for Anna I think knowing her duties is important and especially to the running of the Abbey.” Mary took a sip of tea. “Mmm yes.” She took another sip.

“Lady Mary will be helping me with my duties.” Anna said.

Carson grunted and looked over at the eldest Crawley daughter. “Well then…” He took a sip of his tea and a bite of his breakfast disapprovingly.

Anna was wide awake and could tell that Mary was still struggling.

“My darling drink your tea…my first task was always to dress you…which I have already done so-”

The bells started ringing for the family.

“They’re off. Save you two.” Thomas winked at them and they all stood up to start their jobs.

“My Lady…Anna, why don’t you start by showing Lady Mary how to make a bed?” Ms. Hughes said, smiling at both of them.

Mary stood up, smoothing her skirt. “Should I not have some sort of apron?” She asked.

Anna led Mary to the closet where the livery was and handed her an apron as the kitchen staff watched.

Mary could tell the staff was either making fun of her or shocked she didn’t know anything and she looked at them with one of her withering stares.

Anna pulled Mary into the hallway and tied the apron around her skirt. “Now. Let’s go make a bed…then we can start our day right?” She grabbed Mary’s hand encouragingly. “Then we can do the drabble between.” Anna smiled winking.

Mary rolled her eyes but was delighted at spending the day with Anna. “Are we making our bed first then?”

“Yes. You’re the oldest daughter so you take precedence.”

Mary looked smug at this. “Well if that’s the case then bully for the eldest daughter.” She followed Anna back upstairs.

They went into her bedroom- Anna left the door open.

“Now pull these back.” Anna pulled the comforter and sheets off and sat them on the chair next to the bed. “Then you cover the bed with the bottom sheet…” She easily flipped the sheet so it landed perfectly over the bed and tucked the sides under the mattress. “Then…you…” She placed the bundled comforter over the bed and unfolded it. “ Then you pull this up to the head of the bed and fold it down.” Anna made the bed perfectly. “Last thing you do is the pillows. Sheet and comforter first.” she nodded at Mary.

Mary nodded with a confused look. “I see….so what’s our next-”

Anna grabbed the bedding off and tossed it onto the chair again. “Let me see you try…My Lady.” She knelt down to trigger Mary’s anger.

It worked.

Mary looked determined and grabbed the sheet and flipped it up.

It was a mess.

She flipped it up again.

More of a mess.

“Well it seems-”

Anna stepped forward and grabbed the sheet from her hands, “If you hold the bottom of the sheet like this-” She grabbed each corner. “You can let it land where you need.” She did the task in one swoop.

Mary was frowning. “Well you make it seem so easy?” She went to grab the comforter when Anna bundled the sheet again.

“Now. Try again…” She kissed her face.

Mary’s mean face was in full armor. “Oh well then.” She grabbed the sheet.

“That’s right now fold it out so it’s open…not bundled…flip it up quickly and pull it down…it’ll fall where it needs to land…” Anna said encouragingly.

Mary did as she said and after a few tries she did get the sheet to float perfectly over the mattress.

“Ahh!” She went around the side of the bed to smooth the sheet down and then rounded the other side to do the same. “Oh…okay…now…” She was smiling in determination.

She grabbed the comforter and flipped it up in the same way a few times until it landed perfectly and she went around the bed and smoothed it.

“Well now…” She smiled at Anna who was laughing her favorite. Her face scrunched…her maids uniform on… “Oh this might not work my love….you are so adorable in this…” Mary pulled Anna in and kissed her when Anna pushed her off.

“Mary we have two more rooms to do and also our daily duties…before lunch… which is before yours I might add.”

Mary smiled, kissing Anna one more time. “Of course…well…let’s continue then.”

Anna showed her how to fluff the pillows and finished the process of making a bed. They made their way to Sibyl’s and Edith’s rooms and Anna let her try her best at both of them.

“I am not sure how you are able to get it on the first try?” Mary said, trying to make Edith’s bed. “I’m also not sure why I should bother with hers.”

Anna swatted Mary’s arm. “Mary. Your sister visited me in the hospital when she need not…do not be so cruel…”

Mary cocked her head to the side. “I suppose…only for you my darling.” She helped Anna place the pillows on the freshly made bed looking already exhausted but resolved. “Now. What next?”

Anna looked at Mary who was slightly sweating and still asking for more of her tasks and she couldn’t help but smile. “You are sure you want to do this?” She walked forward and kissed her.

Mary returned the kiss deeply. “Oh, kissing you next to my damned sister's bed is delightful…” She kissed Anna who started giggling.

“Mary! No! I only meant-”

Mary pulled her fully into her arms and kissed her again.

Anna separated from her and caught her breath. “Mary Josephine Crawley.” She scorned.

Mary cocked her head to the side. “What will you do to me?”

Anna was salivating with ideas. “Well…let’s just get through the morning.” She walked towards the door of Edith’s bedroom. “ We have the library to open up.”

Mary smiled and followed Anna from the room. “Open it up?” she asked, confused.

Anna laughed. “Yes My Lady…who do you think opens up the windows and fluffs the pillows and lights the fires?” She pinched Mary’s side softly.

Mary laughed and pushed her away . “Oh gods” She went with Anna towards the library, passing her family. Edith and Sibyl and her father at the breakfast table who noted that she was following Anna.

“Right. So. We basically-” Anna went to say when Robert joined them and Anna stood back in her full service stance.

Robert stood before them smiling and Mary clasped her hands in front of herself as close to Anna as she could be. “Papa? I thought I had mentioned that I would be following Anna around on her duties…so I can now how-”

“No, I know why I just wanted to say… good morning…” He smiled at them both. “Also to see you doing some sort of chore is something I’d never expect from Mary Crawley…whom never even wanted to pick up her room.” He added winking and left.

Anna laughed and knelt over trying to hide her smiles. “Oh, not clean your room My Lady?”

Mary shoved Anna gently. “Do not pay attention to him.”

Anna was still laughing. “Did you not pick up your room as a child? Who did that for you? The nurse?”

Mary had her mean face on fully now. “Now listen-”

Sibyl entered the library. “I see you’re giving my sister a dose of reality.”

Mary’s face hardened. “Oh are you driving motors now? Has Tom shown you how to change oil and fix flats?”

Anna was beside herself laughing, grabbing onto Mary’s arm. “My darling my love.” She said, kissing her face. “Let me show you how to sew.” She kissed her face again.

Mary’s eyes were stern. “You of all people to scorn me.”

Sibyl was giggling. “Mary I only just-”

“Don’t.” Mary waved a hand at her, “Anna let’s continue…and let me say this…I am the only one in this family to actively contribute.” Mary said scornfully.

Sibyl was holding back her giggles. “Well what is it you’ll do next?”

Anna was holding Mary’s hand trying to gain her attention again. “Sewing…however we have some other tasks to accomplish before dinner…then our lunch…then the gong.” She nodded to Sibyl.

Anna led them towards the servants table and handed one of Mary’s dresses to her.

“The tears in this need mending. The string you’ll use is in this-” The bustle of the downstairs wasn’t distracting to her however it was to Mary who was almost looking anxiously at her surroundings.

“And you…do this here?” She said, grabbing the box from Anna.

Anna nodded.

“Are you not…wanting another space to do so in?” Mary said, opening the wooden box and finding the needles for the dress. “Which one should I use? Anna, I am not even sure I know how to sew!” Mary said.

Anna plucked the right needle and thread from the box and the dress of the table. “This is one of yours if you do not recognize it.” She placed it delicately across her lap. “The beads from the hem have become loose….I’ll show you…” Anna grabbed the needle and showed Mary how she would thread the delicate beads. “This is how I would normally do it however…” She handed the dress and the needle and thread to Mary “Mary.” She said.

Mary was trying to mimic her actions and distractedly looked up, “What?” She looked back at the dress. “Oh what a tedious task…I’d just thrown out the whole dress…” She said annoyed.

Anna was sitting still watching her when Mary finally looked up having successfully sewn one bead back onto the dress. “Ha! Right…I think I can-”

Mary saw Anna’s face which was stern and looking at the floor.

The servants hall was mostly empty.

“What is it my love? I thought you’d be proud of me.” Mary smiled.

“Daisy didn’t wake us…” Anna said.

Mary continued sewing the beads on the dress and avoided eye contact. “Oh…I did ask her we must have awoke-”

“What are you keeping from me?” Anna said sternly. “I am not stupid, Mary ... .What is it? What are you and Thomas doing?”

Right on cue Thomas entered and smiled at the both of them. “Oh you showing your girlfriend how to sew?” He sat down opposite them and lit up a smoke.

Mary was looking dark and not making eye contact with either of them and Thomas saw this before making brief eye contact with Mary and suddenly understanding. “Anna why don’t you go and find the wine for this-”

“I will not you both will tell me what the fuck you’re-”

The other servants came and sat down for lunch and ended the talk of what Anna wanted to continue.

Thomas and Mary only looked at one another quickly before lunch was brought in.

The servants sat around the table a little more tentative than they would if someone in the house wasn’t there so Mary knew she had to say something.

She spoke up when they were all sat. “I’m here as you know as Anna’s….so I want to know what it is like to serve in a house as ours as I will be helping run it someday…and also know what the labour is like…so…laugh as much as you want however…my intent is to simply…understand the-”

Carson entered and everyone stood up including Anna and Mary followed suit after everyone else had already stood.

“Lady Mary is here to observe.” He said as they sat down again. Mary looked at Anna for direction. “And you will treat her with the same respect she has upstairs is that understood.”

The staff nodded and sat back down and began eating their lunch.

Mary however looked at Carson smiling as he smiled back.

She joined their luncheon with joy.

“William, how are you?” She asked taking a bite of her lunch.

William was not prepared for someone of the house to address him and started to fluster.

“Are you faring well since your mother passed?” Anna saved her.

William nodded and looked at his plate. “ Yes My Lady…thank you for asking.”

This made Mary uncomfortable. Was the staff so afraid of them they felt they couldn’t talk to them?

“How was her service, William?” She asked, sipping the tea she had infront of her.

William was looking uncomfortable when he saw Anna nod at him encouragingly.

“It was fine, My Lady. My mother would have loved it. Lots of flowers…my father always grew them for her. Thank you for asking.” He said.

Mary smiled at his response. “That sounds lovely, William.”

Anna could tell she was uncomfortable, however thought humor was the best route.

“Lady Mary made a bed today.” She said as the staff stifled their laughter.

Carson scoffed and all of them stopped.

“No need, Carson, I did quite well if you might know.” Mary looked towards her plate. “I do think I did a fine job! Tell them Anna.” Mary said.

Anna laughed, setting her cup down. “She did…after the third try she was able to make the sheet fall across the bed.” Anna looked at her smirking only receiving a deviously evil one.

“Yes it did take some time….however…”

“I’m sure you did just fine, My Lady.” Carson said, putting an end to the conversation.

They were all summoned back into their tasks and Mary and Anna stayed at the table for some time while Mary silently sewed and Anna looked anywhere else but her. Anna instructed her how to shine her own shoes as well. A task that made Anna laugh outright which resulted in Mary shoving her against the table to kiss her when Anna quickly extracted herself.

“Mary!” She grabbed her hand. “It’s almost time for the-”

When the gong rang.

“Since you don’t have to dress me, what is it you would normally do?” Mary looked towards her with her eyebrows furrowed.

“I’d question why you and Thomas are not telling me something.” She suddenly looked serious and pulled her towards the courtyard and saw that Thomas was there and knew he should join them as well.

The three of them were standing awkwardly when Anna finally broke the silence.

“So who is he then? What is it you’ve been doing…do not lie to me Mary…” Anna said clenching her fists in the same anxious way Mary does.

Mary looked at Thomas and they decided honesty was the best policy.

“I know where he is and his name.” Thomas said, lighting a cigarette. “And we plan on-”

“You plan on nothing!” Anna yelled walking away from them both. “What did I say Mary! To let it go? Now you’ve been lying to me!”

Mary and Thomas were exchanging looks when Thomas finally spoke.

“You didn’t think we’d just let this man-”

“No but I did. That’s what I asked. Now the two people I expected to trust have gone behind my back and-”

“And what, my love. Care about you so much? This man hurt the love of my life and your best friend and I have found him and I don’t know what we plan on doing but we plan on making him fucking pay for it…nobody will ever hurt you again and I will keep you safe isn’t that what I always say? Am I not someone who keeps their words? I love you more than life itself my darling my love and I will not let someone as evil as he, go about his life without knowing I want him fucking dead.” Mary was yelling. Her breath like a dragon in the courtyard.

Anna walked away from them both shaking her head.

“If I had the means I’d fucking kill him.” Thomas said, shaking his head. “Anna…what he did…he deserves much more than his sentence…your girlfriend only wants-”

“Wife. I want to someday be your wife.” Mary yelled, forgetting where she was and her words escaping her mouth before she could think.

This stopped Anna and Thomas and they both were staring at her. Anna’s eyes wide.

“I cannot be your wife. Not if you lie to me. Now. We have to prepare ourselves for dinner with your family.” Anna sneered and left the courtyard.

Thomas whistled. “I thought that would have worked.”

Mary stammered. “Me as well ....looks like it hasn't, however…” Mary nodded at Thomas and followed Anna back to their room.

*******

Mary entered her room seeing Anna dressing herself. The corset fastened and she went to grab the same gown Mary had made for her.

“I have another one for you…” Mary said, almost whispering. She went into the closet and pulled a black beaded gown out. “It’s like the one you enjoy me in…I had Gwen pick it up for you-”

“Thank you.” Anna grabbed it angrily and started dressing herself again.

Mary knelt her head down beginning the process of undressing herself when Anna was there helping her.

“This is a part of my job…” She said through a seething tongue. “Unless you have more lies you’d like to tell me.” She grabbed a dress from the wardrobe and fitted it over Mary and sat her down in the chair on the vanity. “ Unless you’d like to lie to me some more as if I could-”

Mary stood up and grabbed her softly. “You were attacked…how would you react? If I was…if the same had happened to me? Would you not want the person to be…what would you do, Anna? Do not treat me this way!” Mary held her arms gently caressing them. “I love you.”

Anna instantly folded and fell into Mary’s chest. “Oh Mary.” She started crying. “Why must you.”

Mary held her tightly and kissed the top of her head as she was also starting to cry. “I love you.” Is all she could muster the courage to say. “I’m sorry…my love I’m sorry…no more lies…after dinner I’ll tell you everything-”

“And I am meant to join your family in dinner knowing you and Thomas have some diabolical scheme against the man who-”

“The man who assaulted you YES. The man who hurt you YES.” Mary shook her head. “I will not let him sit safely as he has in some jail cell…I want him to suffer…I love you…I love you so much…” Mary kissed her.

Anna pulled back as Mary started to push her against the door. Her favorite place for Anna.

“Anna…do not underestimate my love for you ever again.” Her eyes were dark and her voice was shaking. “I will make this fucking man suffer.” She said, pulling her closer.

Anna knelt her head towards Mary’s chest and they swayed together for some time when Anna finally peeled them apart. “Let me be involved then. That’s my right, that's what I deserve.” Her voice was still full of anger.

Mary thought about how Anna would react to seeing her attacker and how herself would react but at the moment knew the best solution was to agree. “Yes my love.”

They finished dressing for dinner and made their way to the library and as they went down the stairs Anna looked at her with such a fierce look Mary wasn’t sure if she was scared of her or wanted to press her up against the wall and -

“Anna! You look beautiful.” Sibyl said, looping her arm around hers and led her towards the library with a glance back at Mary who was still lost in her thoughts. “This dress is beautiful but tell me how my sister fared today?”

Anna responded accordingly. “She cannot make a bed I’ll say that.” Which made them both laugh and Mary scoffed.

“Well I did once you showed me did I not?” She pulled Anna away from her sister and held her hand. “I don’t think I did so bad…”

Anna’s softness easily came out for Mary. “You did just fine sweetheart.” She said looking up at Mary who melted. “However I am still angry with you..” She added quietly.

They followed Sibyl into the library which already had the family and the Dowager sat.

“Oh Anna you look lovely my dear…” Violet said as Anna sat next to Mary on the velvet couch.

Anna smoothed her dress and crossed her ankles. “Thank you.” She said looking up at Mary with a stern gaze.

The room started with their normal banter and Mary couldn’t help but notice Anna’s dark demeanor as whenever she tried to catch her gaze she was met with one that was tormented between anger and confusion.

They followed through to the dining room and Anna kept up with her professional voice and smiles while Mary was only feeling distraught at the way Anna felt.

“So. How was your day? Working for once?” Edith asked Mary, pulling her from her thoughts.

She looked up and over at Anna. “Well…I made a bed…which proves a harder task than I expected…and Anna is teaching me how to sew…I had lunch with the downstairs staff…I propose I do the same tomorrow.”

Anna sat her silverware down. “You propose do you ... .yes Lady Mary did a fine job today My Lady…I expect she shall do even better tomorrow.” She picked up her knife and fork and started on her dinner again, smiling at the family holding back her emotions the best she could which wasn’t lost on them.

“Mary, I hope you don’t let your betrothed down again.” The Dowager said hoping to spring some sort of reaction from them which she did.

“My Betrothed? Well Granny I-”

“A betrothed who needs to learn how to make a bed properly.” Anna said jokingly, gaining some laughter from the room to steer the conversation away from their quarrel.

Robert scoffed. “Betrothed…so is it that serious?”

Sibyl spoke before Mary could answer. “Would you ask Tom to dine with us papa?” She pleaded. “I do think you’d like-”

“An Irish socialist at my table I do not think I’d like, however I did promise I’d ask him so yes I will do so…”

Cora and Anna looked at Sibyl smiling.

“Small steps.” Anna said again.

********

Anna was led upstairs by Mary, who was wondering how their evening would play out, knowing that Anna was upset with her, and as they closed the door to their bedroom, Anna only started doing her job. Undressing Mary who stood still so she could do so. When she was finished she started undressing herself and when Mary tried to help she swatted her away.

“No bother. I can manage.” She pulled her dress off and hung it in the wardrobe and the corset and when she was in her evening gown she noticed Mary was still standing in the middle of the room.

“Sit…I can braid your hair.”

Mary obliged as she wasn't sure what to do otherwise and let Anna unpin her hair and braid it down. When Anna was finished Mary stood up and motioned Anna to sit as well and she did the same for her and when they were both readied for bed Anna crawled in first and laid motionless.

Mary followed suit wondering how she’d possibly bring her lover back from this when Anna suddenly spoke-

“Your betrothed?”

Mary knelt up confused. “What?”

“You said I was your betrothed... .your wife…what the hell Mary.” She turned over and looked at Mary who was propped up.

“Well…I am sorry…it’s just a thought I had…not thought through…clearly…” She looked down towards the mattress.

“Would you want to marry me if we could?” Anna asked, also sitting up. “Isn’t this something we should-”

“It is something I’ve thought about since our trip to the sea.” Mary didn’t dare touch Anna as she was clearly so-

“This isn’t something you’d thought about speaking to me over then? Just like the other thing you’ve ….clearly kept from me.”

They both were sitting up in their bed. Mary looked anywhere but Anna.

“You said you wanted me to tell you everything ... .So what is it you want to know?”

Anna heaved out a heavy sigh and pulled her knees close to her chest and fiddled with the sheets. “When was it you and Thomas…when did you…”

“The morning you asked why I followed Thomas out of our room so quickly.” Mary wasn’t going to keep anything from her for fear she’d leave. “I had asked him if he would find out where this man was and who his name was and he’s been doing just that.” Mary looked away from Anna. “He found out where he was and gave me his place of imprisonment and then found his-”

“Alex Green.”

Mary looked at her sternly with anger fueled eyes. “Yes.”

Anna looked away from her. “Did you ever think that maybe…just maybe…I’d like to be done with it and now I cannot…” Anna brushed some tears from her eyes.

Mary wanted to pull Anna into her arms but decided the best tactic would be to keep answering her questions. “How do you know-”

“The small parchment in your corset…I saw them both Mary. You must know the ones to always know your secrets are your servants.” She almost spat out which hurt Mary more than she had ever expected.

Mary put her hands over her mouth, her eyes filled with tears not knowing which direction to take the conversation. “I do know that-”

“Oh but you don't.” Anna said, finally looking up at her. “I am not your servant anymore. Or maybe I am? I am not sure. I certainly do not pry into your life unless it falls onto the floor for me to be confused about. Why would you do this to me…You must now inform me…I am involved now…from now on, and I will have my words with Thomas tomorrow.” Anna said, laying down and turning over, pressing her face into the pillow.

Mary gently laid down on her back looking up at the ceiling terrified that the scheme she had contrived was ruining her relationship with Anna, but not knowing what else she could say. She pulled the covers up over her and tried to relax without success when she decided she had to say something.

“May I speak…”

Anna turned over. Her face was still upset and angry but nodded for her to continue.

Mary awkwardly cleared her throat. “I love you.” She was trying to not waver her voice, with no avail. “I am angry. I have told you this all…I know you are upset…and I understand you frustrations with me…if you want to leave me…because of it…than I would let you go…however I would never stop loving you or pursuing this man as I cannot let him live comfortably ever…ever again…I just…I thought…my vendetta against this monster…might be…oh I don’t know…something I can do to keep you safe as I have proven that I cannot and I am not saying that to gain some sort of sympathy. I only mean…It feels like something tangible I can do and I don’t know what else to do….I don't know what else to do…” Mary started crying but breathed in and out to not sob. “I will accept whatever you choose my love. I am sorry.”

At that Mary turned over and pressed her face into her pillow.

It was an extra heavy silence that covered their bed.

After what felt like decades Anna shuffled and pressed her face into the back of Mary’s neck and inhaled. “Mary.”

Mary let out a sob and pressed her face deep into her pillow.

“Mary.” Anna said softly. “Mary, look at me.”

Anna waited for her.

Mary turned around so her face was close to Anna’s. Both of them with glossy eyes.

“Yes my love.” Mary said, croaking.

Anna was swallowing words she wasn’t sure should be spoken as they mimicked Mary’s greatest fear. “I will never leave you.”

Mary started to fully sob with her chest heaving in and out trying to catch her breath at the reassurance. “Oh?” Is all she could say.

“No. Not ever.”

Mary was trying to control her tears when she finally gave in and let out a gulping sob and grabbed onto Anna as if she were to be dragged away from her at any moment. Pressing her head into Anna’s chest. “Don’t leave me.” She barely whispered through her tear soaked lips. “Don’t leave me….”

Anna held her tightly kissing her hair and softly shushed her.

“I forgive you…as I know what you did was out of love…and…it’s quite an adoration of love isn’t it?” Anna smiled into Mary’s hair when she sat up slightly.

“What’s an adoration of love?” Mary’s eyes were wild with fear still.

Anna leaned in and kissed her. “That you love me enough to do what you have.” She settled Mary back onto her chest kissing her head lightly trying to calm her. “I love you too.”

They stayed like that for some time. Anna kissing Mary’s head as she cried. Mary kissing the side of Anna’s face in between her tears when Mary finally coughed and pulled herself together.

“I am not the one who should be consoled at this moment.” She looked up at Anna with her puffy eyes. “Doesn’t it seem-”

Anna stopped her with a strong kiss. “No. Stop. However I’d like you to hold me please.” Anna let her arms around Mary go loose and snuggled down and without a moment between them being parted Mary held Anna closely across her chest.

“I will never lie to you again. I promise.”

Chapter Text

Thomas woke up with a guilt in his chest about Anna being so upset over his and Mary’s plans to somehow…punish this man that hurt her, however he felt no remorse for his actions and despite if Anna was opposed to them he’d finish his vendetta. Anna was the one person to show him kindness in his entire life and he wasn’t going to let this man live peacefully as he could in a prison when he should be punished further, and with Mary’s status and power he felt they could do something to further his suffering. The thought was dark. However whenever he felt badly about it, his mind drifted to the scene in his head of Anna getting hurt, and it fueled his anger even more.

He dressed and went down to the servants table for breakfast and saw that Mary and Anna were already there talking and drinking their tea. Mary looked at him with an almost scared look and Anna’s look was darker. He thought maybe he deserved that look if it was reversed. He’d not be sure if he’d appreciate someone finding his attacker, but as he was a man it was difficult to imagine.

“Good morning, Thomas.” Anna said politely.

“Good morning, Thomas.” Mary said as well. Their eyes said it all. They knew they were caught and in trouble, however they’re resolve for their endeavor was not lost.

“So. I think after breakfast I should talk to you both…again.” Anna said.

“Of course.” Thomas responded as the rest of the staff entered.

They were becoming accustomed to Mary being there which made Mary happy.

Daisy placed breakfast for them on the table and poured Mary’s tea personally.

“Oh Daisy you don’t have to, I can manage!” Mary said cheerily, clearly making Daisy flustered. “Why don’t you have breakfast with us anyways?” She asked looking towards Carson who had entered as she was the only one who hadn’t risen out of her seat.

Carson grumphed. “Kitchen maids eat in the kitchen.” He said starting in on his breakfast adding a smile towards the eldest daughter. “My Lady.”

Mary thought this absurd however. “But why?”

The table was silent, including Anna, who was curious as to how this conversation would proceed.

“Lady Mary…that is how things are properly done.” He said.

Mary nodded and they all continued with their breakfast, when she decided this wasn’t enough of an answer.

“But why is that?” She asked, noting that all cutlery stopped. Anna nudged her softly which of course Mary ignored. “Why must the kitchen staff not have their meals with the rest of the staff?”

Ms. Hughes was silently looking with a smirk at Carson, who huffed again trying to find an answer that suited Lady Mary’s question. “Well My Lady…that is how it’s always been-”

“It does seem odd does it not? Why isn’t Ms. Pattmore or Daisy allowed to eat with the staff?” Mary was earnest with her question.

Carson was looking for an answer when Ms. Hughes decided to finally intervene.

“My Lady…best not ask such questions of Mr. Carson so early in the day…” She smiled.

Mary raised one eyebrow and accepted defeat for now.

“Now My Lady, what is it Anna will be showing you today?” Ms. Hughes asked.

Anna swallowed her bite of toast and looked at Ms. Hughes. “Well…I figured we’d follow suit with what we accomplished yesterday…I might show her-”

“Anna is going to show me how to serve the wine at dinner.” Mary said out of turn which caused such an astonished look from Carson she had to backtrack. “It’s my suggestion, Carson…I’d like to know what it is like to serve my family…not to worry I will make them aware.” She added for good measure. Despite her not planning on doing anything in the slightest.

Anna who had no clue as to what to say looked flabbergasted when the bells for the rest of the family started to ring, and the staff stood up to start their day, she looked at Mary with her angry face- something she must have picked up from Mary, as she did not have one prior to them being together.

“My Lady.” Carson stood up and left the hall along with the rest of them aside from Thomas who remained sat looking at Anna with a grim face.

Once the table was empty aside from them, Anna stood up and walked towards the courtyard.

Thomas and Mary followed. Mary clenching and unclenching her fists as she did when she was uncomfortable or upset. Thomas pulled a cigarette out of his case he carried in his pocket.

The morning air was damp and the fog was laying across the grounds, blanketing the grass and enclosing the Abbey in some wicked embrace. Which was beautiful in a way Anna had always loved.

The three of them stood in silence in a triangle of confusion and conflict.

“Mary told me what she knows. She told me what you and her have concocted. Thomas I-”

“Anna…I am sorry…” Thomas said, stepping forward gently placing his hand in hers. “Whichever you decide for us to do is-”

“What was your plan?” Anna looked between them. She grabbed Thomas’s hand tightly as well. “Do you plan on meeting him? Both of you? What was your plan? Thomas we have to work soon so I expect you to be honest.” Anna’s stern voice was prominent.

Thomas looked at Mary still holding Anna’s hands tightly. This was Mary’s idea in the first place.

“I’m not sure my darling…it just felt wrong for him to run free-” Mary started in.

“He is not running free he is in prison so what is it you decided?”

“I had an idea.” Thomas said which made Mary look up at him.

“What?” She asked, snatching Anna’s hand from Thomas’s.

“We could…visit him…I’m not sure this man has regrets but maybe we could…” Thomas was struggling with his words. “My Lady…Mary…you want him to suffer…I can bribe his cellmate to…hurt him…” Thomas was only looking into Mary’s eyes.

Anna pulled her hands from Mary’s. “And then what? Are you also arrested…is this what you want as well?” Anna looked at Mary.

Mary thought for a few seconds before answering. “Yes.” Her face was full of mean Mary. Full anger and full scathing hatred. “Me being arrested will not happen…however…my love if you… want us to…not…”

“How will you do it?” Anna said plainly.

Thomas and Mary looked up quickly making eye contact.

“Not sure yet.” Thomas turned away. “If you’d like to know whatever we decide then-”

Anna scoffed. “If I'd like to know? What the fuck is wrong with you both?” Anna started pacing. “I can’t handle this…”

Mary placed a hand gently on her back trying to gain her attention. “My love…like I told you previously…if you’d like us not to-”

“Do it.” Anna finished holding back her tears clenching her fists in the same way Mary did, picking up her mannerisms.

Thomas and Mary looked smug and determined, however were both attentive to Anna’s feelings at the moment.

“I love you, Anna. You’re my best friend.” Thomas said not making eye contact.

This brought Anna out of her thoughts and she smiled up at Thomas. “You do…well…don’t tell the staff you have a heart.” She laughed.

Thomas laughed as well. “No, do not tell the staff…they’ll think I actually care.”

Mary found this amusing as well. “I’m sorry, is this why you think Thomas and I are similar? We don't care or is it because we are so cold?”

Before Anna could reply Thomas responded, “Both, My Lady ... .now I think I should get to my duties or I’ll be sacked.” He smiled and winked at them both and left them.

Anna was looking at Mary who was smiling at the ground awkwardly. “You want to serve dinner do you?”

Mary looked up suddenly. “Oh?”

Anna gestured them back to the servants hall. “Isn’t that what you said?”

Mary smiled widely and kissed Anna’s face. “ I would like to…as it is what you have done…and seems to be an important role in service…also it gets us out of dinner with my family so-”

“No, Mary. It gets you out of dinner…I however still feel obligated to dine with them…which I am enjoying the more I attend.”

Mary followed Anna up the stairs to their bedroom thinking about this statement as Anna threw the bedding off and gestured for Mary to make it- which she did- pretty well.

“Anna…can I whisper things into your ear like you did to me?” Mary said excitedly, as she tucked in the sheets.

Anna found this absurd that this is what she was intrigued about. “Mary? This isn’t a daunting task for you?”

They were in the next bedroom making the bed.

Mary flipped the bedding over Sibyl’s and placed the pillows as Anna had shown her.

“No.”

Anna laughed. “Well then. Let’s make sure you know what wine to serve. It’s hours before dinner, however time is on our side.” She squeezed Mary’s hand gently and pulled it up to her face and kissed it. “Come my love.” and they left towards the cubby where the wine was stored at the servants entered the dining room.

Mary placed her arms around Anna and kissed her face when Anna gently shoved her off.

“Mary, aren't you wanting to work?” She asked, turning around so she was leaning up against the table where the wine was kept. “But what is it about me that makes you want me so?” Anna cocked her head to the side knowing it would send Mary.

She was right.

Mary’s eyes darkened in a wanting way. “Why would you ask that of me now?”

Anna shrugged her shoulders innocently. “No matter. Now the wine’s are lined up in which courses they’re being served…so this one- first course- this one- second- this one-”

Mary was holding Anna from behind her arms wrapped around her waist and kissing her neck. “And what is the third course…my love….”

Anna was looking towards the doorway anxious that someone would walk in and see them. “Mary…someone can come along and see us and-”

“What will they do…” Mary continued caressing her lips across Anna’s neck.

Anna was quickly losing her resolve. “Mary…please…I don’t want to be…”

“You can’t be…if anything you’ll be relieved of your duties…my darling…” Mary continued to hold her closely, as this was the first time they had even felt close in an intimate way for months.

Anna was sighing at Mary’s touch, reaching one arm around Mary’s head pulling her closer into her skin.

Mary came to her senses finally and stepped back and Anna turned around to her, with the same desperation in her eyes.

“If you serve at dinner ... .and whisper something scandalous into my ear…then maybe you’ll be granted permission to do what you will with me…My Lady.” She kissed Mary, lingering her tongue in her mouth before leaning back. “Now…you wanted to serve the wine correctly?”

Mary was barely aware of her surroundings at hearing Anna. “Yes…yes…uhm…I did say I'd like to serve dinner…” She cleared her throat and straightened her apron. “So explain to me again which ones go for which course.”

*****

Thomas was sitting at the table waiting for dinner to start when he was almost…floored at Mary entering with a black maids uniform on. He instantly started laughing into his smoke and coughing.

Mary looked at him with her mean Mary look. “Yes I know.” Is all she said as she sat down.

Thomas was waiting for Anna to join her and when she didn’t he spoke again, “Wait…are you serving Anna and the family?”

Mary took a hefty sip of caffeine. “Yes.” She said with a stern look over her cup. “I demanded it.”

Thomas smirked and smashed his cigarette on the ashtray. “Well then…would you like some sort of direction for this evening?”

Mary looked even more evil. “Yes.”

*****

Anna entered the library alone, and in a new dress Mary must have had made for her. Her nerves were paramount, however, she had decided that she should get used to dining with the family or at least being with them on her own if she wanted her and Mary to work.

“Anna! You look wonderful.” Edith said. “Where is my…loving sister?”

Anna sat down next to Edith on the sofa. “She’s…” Anna started laughing slightly. “Edith, she is serving us tonight…on her expedition to learn I supposed…”

This made Edith, Sibyl, Cora, and Robert laugh outright. “Oh!” Cora said, which sounded much like Mary. “Well then girls we must be supportive!”

Robert stopped laughing and looked at his youngest. “Tom will also…be joining us this evening.” He drained his glass.

Sibyl’s eyes widened and she looked at them all. “Did you know about this?” She asked Anna who looked equally as shocked.

“No, My Lady.”

Cora stood up and walked to her husband and kissed him gently on his cheek. “And he will be welcomed with open arms Robert.” Cora said it more as a statement than a question.

Robert looked extremely conflicted however never wanting to disappoint his wife answered. “Yes…” And as he responded, Tom walked into the library awkwardly as ever.

“Well…I’ve come…so…” He was dressed in his best which was not sufficient for dining and Anna knew how he was feeling.

“Tom, come sit by me.” She scooted over and gestured to the spot next to her. For some reason being Mary’s made her more self assured. Almost like Mary’s power had infected her with some sort of confidence she hadn’t had before. She wanted to make a note to tell Mary later, but then realized Mary would be with Thomas right now, readying the wine for their dinner. The thought made her smirk which she hid.

“Hello Tom.” Cora said, “We are so glad you could join us.”

Tom looked just like Anna had for her fist dinner with the family. Terrified.

Sibyl only gazed at him with eyes akin to someone deeply in love, and before she could say anything, Carson was summoning them to the dining room.

Anna stood up and grabbed onto his arm seeing that Sibyl was looking back at them walking in front. “Just keep to yourself and answer simply when they ask you…” She said.

“Not sure I know how to not say what I feel…I do love Sibyl…and you seem to have-”

“Sit next to me.” Anna led him so he was between her and Sibyl.

Anna was excitedly anxious about seeing Mary serve her wine, and wondered if this was some sort of strange role play she wanted to experiment with. Anna hadn’t even seen her in a servants uniform and wondered if she would wear one, and as she was toying with this thought Mary was there.

Mary was indeed in a black maids uniform, following Thomas with the wine and standing next to him next to the table she knew well. Anna was enamoured. She understood now what Mary’s attraction to her in that same uniform was so strong, as she wanted to press Mary up against the wall and-

“Mary my dear don’t you look suitable for the position.” Cora said smiling.

Robert scoffed and Mary stepped forward and swatted his shoulder softly.

“Papa…next time we have Matthew for dinner I look forward to telling him I know the intricacies more than he does…now…white wine first.” She knelt forward and poured her father a glass of wine rather sloppily. “Oh…well…” She tried to turn the crystal decanter as Thomas had shown her with failure.

Carson stood behind her looking disapprovingly at the whole situation.

“Mary my dear…you did just fine.” Robert almost sounded proud.

Mary smiled and made her way around the table with smiles from her sisters.

“Good job honey.” Cora said. “Oh you are so adorable.” She softly pinched Mary’s uniform.

Mary smiled at her mothers approval and when she reached Tom she couldn’t help but speak up. “How nice it must be for you to have an aristocrat like myself serve you wine.” She teased moving on to Anna.

Anna was anticipating what Mary would say, as their dining room banter seemed to be one of Mary’s favorites.

“My darling, you are beautiful.” She whispered before adding. “Will you make my favorite sound later?” even quieter.

Anna fluttered with those words, and took a hefty sip of her wine, seeing Thomas hide his smile, and Mary rejoin him at the station in the hall behind them. She wanted to be there with Mary and Thomas, she felt wrong being sat at this table and not being able to kiss her and-

“So. Anna. How is it being served by my daughter for once?” Robert asked.

Anna had to pull herself from her thoughts and shook her head like it would help. “Odd.” Is all she said which made the table laugh. “It was not my suggestion, My Lord.” She started to eat her dinner hoping the conversation would not be focused on her for once as Tom was also at the table, whom she noticed was looking uncomfortable as ever. Sibyl holding his hand discreetly.

“Tom.” Robert said, gaining attention from everyone at the table as Mary and Thomas entered the room again, standing back next to Carson. Anna saw that Mary was trying to mimic whatever Thomas was doing and it made her smile into her lap.

Robert turned around and looked at his eldest before looking back at Sibyl and Tom. “I know you hate families like ours…what is it you expect from my daughter…not that I have even given a morsel of confidence in…do not take me having you at my table as an invitation to court my daughter.”

Sibyl went to retaliate when Tom stopped her. “I understand Lord Grantham. The only thing I expect from your daughter is what she chooses for herself and not a life expected from her…I love her.” He said not touching the food or drink in front of him.

The tension at the table was heavy…even heavier than when Anna was first dining with them…and Anna found this annoying in the same way Mary had. What made their relationship so scandalous was somehow diminished by Tom and Sibyl.

“My Lord…Robert…Is Tom so radical you find it more absurd than your eldest and myself?” Anna said with confidence.

The table was silent again.

Mary was standing with Thomas behind them. Serving wine which she did, moving her way around them, starting with her father who watched her almost angrily.

“Mary is serving me wine. An Irish chauffeur is at my table, who is very opposed to families like ours…so…you and Mary don’t seem so…”

Edith decided to jump in to help. “So you are saying Mary and Anna aren’t as despicable as Sibyl and the Irish chauffeur…Tom.” She took a sip of her wine nodding to her sister for a refill as a nag, which Mary did with annoyance.

Robert was stammering and awkwardly hearing how absurd it sounded. “Yes I suppose I am.”

Mary was filling her family's wine glasses and when she reached Tom she said, “Don’t let him bully you.”

Tom brought his glass up and drained it, and before she left she refilled it instantly. “It seems you have more of a challenge.”

Mary rounded off with Anna who replied to her previous devious statement, “I do expect a full alter.”

Mary overfilled the glass causing it to spill. “Oh how you ever did this with us-” she whispered.

“It isn’t that. I just know Anna doesn’t want us burned alive in our homes as Tom does!” Robert said, slightly raising his voice.

Cora finally chimed in, “Robert, Tom loves our daughter.” She smiled encouragingly at him, who was increasingly feeling more uncomfortable.

“Thank you Lady Grantham. Yes I do. I love your daughter a great deal. You do not have to have me at your table. It won’t change my feelings for her. She’s smart and independent. She thinks for herself and I cannot change my love for her.” He said, finally taking a bite of food. Before adding, “Anna and I have one thing in common…we both fell in love with one of the Crawley sisters…” He wasn’t sure where he was going with this comment but continued, “We both fell in love and they love us back.” He finished draining his wine glass again looking over at Anna for help.

“My Lordship…It seems two of your daughters have fallen for those who love them deeply…is that something to be upset about…” Anna dared, feeling as if she was toeing the line with her familiarity with the family, especially without Mary for support as she had left with Thomas, most likely for the courtyard as they were done serving them dinner.

Robert was looking more and more angry at the situation presented to him.

“No. It’s not.” However he stood up. “I’d like to move through and perhaps go to…retire for the evening.” He left.

Tom was awkwardly looking at his napkin when Sibyl placed a hand over his face and pulled it towards hers.

“You did wonderfully.” She kissed him quickly.

Edith was shaking her head. “Our poor Papa. His two favorites betrayed him for servants.” Edith stood up and left.

Cora also stood up which prompted Anna to do so as well. “He’s met with things he’s not prepared for…you must give him some sort of leniency when it comes to these things my dear.”

Anna was only thinking about finding her way down to the servants hall to be with Mary and Thomas.

“Well…I must go as well…Thank you Lady Grantham…Cora…” She said.

Cora walked forward and hugged her. Anna was taken off guard, but returned the affections. She couldn’t remember the last time a parent had hugged her.

Cora then beckoned Tom to follow her. “Tom. Join myself and Sibyl…I want to know more about you.”

Tom nodded and followed them before looking back at Anna who smiled at him as in a ‘ good luck you’ll be fine’ way.

Anna left the dining room and walked down the servants stairs to the hall, and when she didn’t see Thomas or Mary she assumed they were in the courtyard.

She was correct however, the site she was walking in on was one she had not really expected. Thomas and Mary smoking together sharing his flask. They looked surprised at seeing Anna so soon.

“Don’t make me feel so left out now? What are you all on about now? I feel like an imposter in this gown already. So. How was it?” She was referring to the service of course. “How did you fare? Mind you, this is your own family so-”

“I fucking hated it.” Mary huffed out. “I cannot believe you did that for my family so many times. They are so insufferable. If I ever have to pour wine for my father again I’ll most likely pour it on his stupid face.” She inhaled and sat down on the crates that served as their seats.

Anna raised her eyebrows and smiled at Thomas who started to tease her.

“Oh, My Lady…was the wine not up to your standards? My Lady I am so sorry…Maybe next service we can-” Thomas mocked.

“Shut it.” Anna said which elicited laughs from both of them. “Do not call me that.” She sat down next to Mary.

“If I remember correctly…I asked you not to call me that as well and you did so…to the point I was going to fire you?” Mary reached out absentmindedly for Thomas’s flask and he handed it to her. “Not so nice on the other side is it?”

Anna snatched the flask from her. “This is different. I’ve never been a Lady…you’re the eldest daughter of Grantham and Downton…you have-”

“Oh please stop.” Mary said, annoyed. “I’m nobodies but yours.” She said it as easily as talking about the weather.

Thomas smiled to himself walking away as if he was intruding on their private conversation.

Anna however was not smiling suddenly. “So what were you two scheming without me? What scenario were you-”

Thomas turned on heel to face them.

“Nothing for your piece of mind actually. We were talking about service and that’s the honest truth.” Thomas said, cutting Anna off.

Mary nodded in agreement. “He’s not lying ... .and I said I would not ever lie to you again.”

Anna looked at both of them, when Thomas stomped out his smoke. “If I don't go back inside Ms. Hughes will come looking for me…” He winked at them and went inside.

Anna sat next to Mary in a semi-awkward silence.

“We should go inside-”

“Don’t you think I look nice in my maids uniform?” Mary asked, rubbing her leg against Anna’s. “For once…You’re in…a gown and I am…In a uniform.”

Anna quickly grabbed Mary, and pushed her into the dark corner of the courtyard and started kissing her fervently.

“Oh you mean this?” Anna tugged at the front of her uniform trailing her mouth down Mary’s neck. “This uniform you love me in…well…I suppose I understand…” She kissed Mary, rubbing her lips across hers, despite her being upset with her still. “Gods Mary…” She put her hands on Mary’s hips resting her head onto hers.

“You’d like to take this off of me then?” Mary said, catching her breath.

Anna bit Mary’s bottom lip. “I’d like to do more than that.”

They both stood still, their breaths being exhaled like they were desperate for the air. The previous weeks being stuffed behind a door they wanted so badly to shut.

“Please…take me to your room.” Anna said, leading them to the door.

“Our room. My love.” Mary took the lead and opened the door for her and held the bottom of her back gently leading her back up the stairs to the hall where their room was.

Once they were inside Mary’s room, she turned around and placed each of her hands into Anna’s who only knelt her head into Mary’s.

“Let me take you out of your…uniform.” Anna smirked and started to untie it until it was fully off and pulled it down. Kneeling with it she motioned for Mary to step out. “You know…if I must say…this doesn't look as alluring on you as your other dresses…” Anna winked at her as she had Mary down to her shift and corset, who looked thoroughly confused.

“Oh really?” She sounded annoyed

She started to undress Anna, not waiting for herself to fully get ready for bed. “That’s fine…I fell in love with you in that stupid uniform…gods you look so what is it you said…alluring…in it… however I understand you wouldn’t find me that-”

Anna pulled her dress off and it fell to the floor. “Shut up.” She kissed Mary and they stayed swaying in the middle of their bedroom for some time. Anna’s mouth memorized Mary’s as each time she did so she found a new path to follow. Each time she pressed them together she gathered the coordinates.

Mary pushed them towards the door. Her favorite place for Anna, and breathing heavily, started unlacing her corset and when it was opened she placed her hands on her back tugging it off. Both of them struggled at the confines of their bodily prisons they had to conform to.

“Anna I am so sorry….” Mary was breathing heavily as Anna’s corset fell to the ground.

“Shut up.” She said starting to do the same for Mary but before she could pull the corset off of her, she pulled them away from the door and towards the bed.

Anna was gripping tightly to the fabric, practically prying it off of Mary who was helping her and as they finally were free of it Anna pulled her shift off over her body and did the same for Mary.

“Anna I am-”

“Shut up.” Anna laid her body over hers and kissed her softly moving her hands across Mary’s soft pale skin, as she had been starved of it for too long.

Mary gave in and closed her eyes, melting into her touch. Her hands crawled up and down Anna’s body as well, and kissed whatever part of her she could, but not being one for being silenced she couldn't help but speak, “Anna…” She started to say as Anna was doing wonders on her chest and then her shoulders and then her face and then her mouth. It almost made Mary’s heart burst. “Don’t leave me please..” She said which stopped Anna.

Anna pulled the covers up over them and laid down next to her.

“Why do you say that? I have told you? There must be some other reason?” Anna whispered as she was so close to Mary’s mouth. “Where does this stem from?”

Mary thought about it for some time as she inhaled Anna’s scent in her hair and nuzzled her face as if she would disappear at any moment.

“I think…” She pushed Anna back slightly so she could look into her eyes. “I told you I am terrified of you leaving…but…you’re the only happiness I know…and without you…I’ll never know it again…Anna without you’ll I’ll disappear into someone I’m afraid of becoming…I’ll never have a soft side...without you I’ll be some cold empty shell…without you I’ll never love again and I never thought I’d love and, here I am…loving you more than I could have ever imagined…maybe that’s why I say it so often because I’ll lose the only morsel of kindness I have....I am sorry…I wont-”

Anna pressed her finger over Mary’s mouth. “Shhh..” She caressed the sides of her face with her hands and kissed her gently. “Lean back.” She motioned for Mary to lay on her back and traced her fingers over over.

Anna moved her hand over Mary’s face circling her ears and then down to her shoulders…across her collar bone…down between her chest and back up under her chin which she moved her thumb across lightly and placed delicate kisses along every point noticing that Mary was crying softly.

“Mary, look at me.”

Mary looked at her fully. “Yes.” She said in such a meek voice that Anna had never heard.

“I will never leave you.” Anna held her face in her hands. “I will never leave you and if I have to tell you each day then I shall… If I am your happiness then I shall be. I love you more than I could have ever imagined as well…I will not leave you.”

They stayed for some time just lightly brushing their lips against each other and smiling as Mary’s tears fell into their mouths.

“Oh so you love love me.” Mary said jokingly as Anna had said to her before.

Anna pressed her head into Mary’s chest laughing. “I thought that would have been established at this point?”

Mary wrapped her arms around Anna. “Well…it’s just that I have to make sure every so often…just to be reminded…and if I recall you said the same to me when I requested I call you Anna Crawley.”

Anna smiled. “You have me there as you are correct however…yes…I love love you.”

They kissed slowly fueled by the warmth of their bodies being together when Anna stopped them. Mary’s face was annoyed and when she leaned in to kiss Anna again, she was once again denied, as Anna knelt up on her knees further causing Mary’s face to contort into many versions of disgruntled.

“Now ... .I did request you worship me at my altar…did I not?” Anna cocked her head to the side which always seemed to fuel Mary’s desire. Which was boiling over since she was in that cubby learning from Anna which wines to serve.

Mary quickly flipped Anna on her back.

“Your eyes are black again, my love.” Anna breathed. “What has you so enamored?” Playing with her.

Mary glared down at her..

“What has me enamored you ask? It might have to do with the beautiful blonde laying bare for me and me only... Making her feel as if heaven only exists in our bed.” Mary kissed her.

They continued only taking in each kiss as a promise. Their lips simply saying what couldn’t be said with words. Mary pressing her mouth so delicately on Anna’s as if she’d break her if she truly let go with how much she wanted her.

“Mary…Please…it’s been so long.” Anna was pushing her hips up towards Mary with desperation. “Please…” She was breathing into Mary’s mouth, who was also pushing her hips down with how turned on she felt.

“Only…I said I would…but only if you-”

“Please make love to me. You and I…together…” Anna said, kissing her shoulder. “I need it.”

Mary was aware that she had promised to worship Anna, however her request for them to make love together made her reconsider. She hadn’t had that type of contact for some time and had been daydreaming about it so much lately she couldn’t deny what Anna wanted.

“Yes, Anna.” Is all she could say. She sat up and pulled her and Anna together and started moving her hips slowly looking into Anna’s eyes. “I’ll forever do what you ask of me.”

Anna reciprocated with her movements and they met the tempo each of them were at. Their tongues knotting together and their hands pressing their centers together further.

Mary was letting out one of her low growling moans that Anna loved to hear, and she reciprocated with one of her high pitched whines Mary loved so much. This caused Mary to pull them so close that moving in the way they had been almost became impossible, so tightly together their most sensitive spots were directly together. Anna breathed out a not so silent whine, her eyes wide and then they closed and she kissed Mary harshly humming into her mouth.

“Mary.” She whispered in between her sounds of ecstasy.

Mary continued to press them closer until she felt she was close to finishing. “Anna.” She pressed her head against Anna’s. “Anna I’m-”

Mary came first crying out into Anna’s hair and Anna followed doing the same. They convulsed together as they were too sensitive to the sensation of their most tender spot being so stimulated.

Mary was breathing heavily, as was Anna, who looked at her, noting that both of them were sweating slightly, she kissed her forehead and without extracting herself from the tangle of their bodies, she pressed Mary’s perspiring head onto her shoulder. “Oh god, Mary….I’ve missed this so much.” She said.

Mary lifted her head and looked into Anna’s eyes, still keeping them connected. “My life was only meant for you my darling.” She kissed her lazily, not wanting them to be separated yet. “I am nothing without you.” She kissed her neck tasting the sweat that was dripping from their efforts. “You promise to not leave me…”

Anna leaned back pulling them so their legs untangled and Mary was on top of her. “Never.”

Mary rubbed her face over Anna’s. “Hmm…tell me every day.” She moved them so they were resting on the pillows and pulled the blankets up over them.

Anna smiled Mary’s favorite. Eyes scrunched. “So you tell me every day how much you love me, and I’ll remind you every day that I won't leave you? My, aren’t we the insecure pair.”

Mary took this in and also laughed. “I suppose we sound…what was it Thomas said…dramatic for one another.”

“He said that to me as well. One night when we were serving he said.. Oh you are both so dramatic…I couldn’t disagree with him as our love story is quite dramatic.” Anna folded into Mary’s arms with ease. “Hmmm…this was so nice.”

Mary couldn’t disagree. It was nice. She hadn’t had any sort of release like that for months and selfishly had missed it despite knowing that Anna was healing.

“It was blissful.” She said breathing in the scent of Anna’s hair.

“Are you following me around tomorrow as well?” Anna asked.

Mary sat up looking offended. “I am sorry…follow you around? I feel as if I’ve done a very…a fine job at your duties!”

Anna was giggling. “Yes, you actually have! I was just asking if I should wake you up when I go down, is all my darling!”

Mary was still looking annoyed. A face Anna adored. “Listen. I will shadow your chores as long as necessary…and if you must know…I wont be serving dinner, as Matthew is dining with us tomorrow, but I am intrigued as to his thoughts on my little trial.”

Anna cocked her head to the side. “What other trials come with working with me, My Lady?”

Mary was fueled again. “Which ones would you like to know? How I somehow haven’t made love to you in every room in this damn manor? Which imaginative narrative would you like to hear?”

Anna hummed. “Hmm…which one is your favorite…tell me.”

Mary propped herself up so she was hovering over Anna. “I don’t think it would be appropriate.” She whispered into her mouth. “I might be scorned by my girlfriend for such thoughts.”

Anna laughed and played along. “Oh your girlfriend must be heinous! For you to daydream about fooling around with the maid while you're only trying to do your job…maybe you should call it off.” Anna pushed her hips up into Mary’s clearly wanting more.

Mary did the same. “I’m quite jealous of her other lover…would rather have her as my own you see…I believe we will run away together….” Mary traced her mouth down Anna’s body and grabbed tightly to her hip bones. “I also know that she can’t call it off…as she…” She kissed each side of Anna’s thighs. “She said she'd worship her altar.”

Mary drank up Anna pulling her into her mouth hearing the sounds she could only gather from Anna when she made love to her in this way. Her tongue devouring her soft folds and the sensitive nub she ran her tongue up and down on, driven by the sounds she was hearing from her lover. Her betrothed. Her wife…she would someday give her a ring. The thought only made her movements more tender.

Anna’s mews made Mary look up and saw that she had both of her hands pressed against the headboard. Her eyes clamped shut and her mouth open.

Mary resumed her work until she could feel Anna was close to finishing again and kept the same pace when she held her clit in her mouth and sucked hard and she came. Crying out in a vibrato she hadn’t heard before. Her moans rippling like a stone being skipped across a pond.

Mary wiped her face on each of Anna’s thighs and crawled back up to her, who was still lost in her orgasm.

“My Love.” Mary pulled her in close.

“Mary.” Anna said, barely opening her eyes, she kissed her, still not satisfied. “Mary…let me touch you please…” Anna asked rolling over so her blonde hair was draped over Mary. “Please.” She kissed her more.

Mary was more than willing and nodded consent, her chest rising and falling with the anticipation of Anna’s hand on her. “Yes.”

Anna moved her hand down onto Mary’s center and moved her fingers through the folds slowly, which made Mary squirm under her touch and lean her head back.

“No…look at me.” Anna said and Mary obeyed.

“Yes, Anna.”

She moved her hand across her, using her wetness as intended, to glide over her center as gently as possible. Mary was moaning, spreading her legs further for Anna to reach down and place her fingers inside, her palm still pressed against the bundle of nerves Mary was eager to be touched.

“Oh fuck. Anna…” Mary said out of character, which made Anna continue her motions more, hooking her fingers up and pressing them in a way that made Mary gasp.

“Mary…” Anna continued. Her hand pumping into Mary and her palm rubbing against her.

“Anna.” She heaved her hips up and came so loudly Anna covered her mouth with her own.

They both held one another in a post coital bliss.

“Yes…I will be following you around tomorrow wasn’t that your original question?” Mary said giggling into Anna’s chest who equally did so as well.

“Well then…good thing we got this out of our system.” She said.

“Do not think that this will be enough for me to not want you in your damned uniform my darling.” Mary draped her arms around Anna humming.

“Well then…I’ll do my best to not lead you on.” She giggled again.

Mary rubbed her face into Anna’s hair. Her favorite scent. “And then I can help you grow my favorite flowers…” Her voice on the cusp of slumber as was Anna’s.

“Yes Mary.” Anna said as they both fell asleep.

************

Anna woke up before Mary. Which wasn’t unusual, as she normally woke around five. She turned over looking at Mary, who had folded over Anna in the night, never wanting any space between them which Anna loved.

“My darling…sweetheart…” She kissed her cheek. “Time to wake up.”

Mary groaned and laid on her back. “Ugh.”

Anna laughed. “I do adore how much you detest mornings…however if you’d like to follow me today you’ll have to rise, but you don’t have to.” She kissed her face again before starting her morning.

Mary finally sat up, her eyes barely open, moved so her feet were on the floor, and she stood up. “Why in the devils are you so chipper in the mornings anyways… is it because you’ve had to while working here?” Mary walked over to Anna who instinctively started dressing her.

Anna smiled. “Well no. I’ve always loved the mornings. I’d always be the first up when I was small. I loved watching the sunrise and the smell…the smell of mornings is different isn’t it?” She had Mary in her corset and was pulling a skirt up over her waist. “I suppose a new day feels to me like another chance.” She put the blouse on Mary and tucked it in quickly fastening the buttons. “I suppose I should ask why you dislike mornings?”

Mary had cataloged the words Anna had said as to use the information in the future, as she was always finding new ways to show her girlfriend how much she loved her. Now, about how she spoke about mornings growing up, and how she enjoyed the smell of the world at that ungodly hour. How she saw each day as a new beginning for her life…she couldn’t decide if it was beautiful or if it made her sad.

“I prefer evenings… and nights…I’ve always enjoyed the dark…for me nighttime means…things can happen that don’t need to be spoken of in daylight, and I don’t mean… you know-” She was putting Anna’s uniform on and started to fasten the front. “For me I feel more…free in the evenings and the nights. I could look out my window and see the stars and write in my journal and everything seemed so…silent for once. Nobody was expecting anything from me.” Mary was waking up more as she spoke. “I then enjoyed having my nights with you when we were sneaking around. It was the only time I felt happy…or when you were serving dinner…or dressing me for said dinner…it’s always been my favorite part of the day.” She finished Anna’s uniform and sat her down in the chair at her vanity. “Can I try a new style on you? I saw it in another magazine and I think I’ll be able to.”

Anna had also taken in everything Mary had just said, and upon recollection, did see that she was in fact more awake and alert in the evenings and nights, and how much sense it made to her now that she knew that part of her.

“Of course. Show me.” She smiled at her.

Mary combed her hair and started braiding it up into a knot. It took her several tries to get it right, which was interrupted by several giggle fits and kisses. Eventually she did get it up to her standards.

“Well…I think that’s the best it’ll be.”

Anna’s hair was perfect in her eyes. “I love it…Also very efficient for working…this way it wont come undone around lunch.” She stood up and sat Mary down to fix her hair into something suitable which was a tight knot she had done many times.

Mary stood up looking at herself in the mirror. “I suppose you’re much faster than I am as you have had to style my hair for years.” She almost sounded annoyed.

Anna laughed. “Oh why are you upset? It was my job as a ladies maid and also head housekeeper. As the eldest, you were the most important to take care of.” She placed their nightgowns on the back of the chair when Mary pulled her close.

“I was the most important as I was the eldest daughter of the Earl of Grantham…or to you?”

Anna moved her hands up to Mary’s shoulders.

“Now what do you think?”

Mary rested her head onto Anna’s. “I was important.”

“Yes.”

This satisfied Mary. Who looked smug. “Well then…Why don’t I make our bed? Which we made such a mess of.” Mary dragged the sheets off and sat them in the chair and started making their bed with a much better proficiency than she had before. When she pulled back the comforter and placed the pillows in their respective spots she smiled. “Oh! Look at that…it doesn’t look half bad!” She glanced over at Anna who was looking at her with such adoration Mary was almost offended. “Oh, are you finally proud of me?”

Anna shook her head and laughed. “No. I just find it very endearing, my darling…now let’s go down for breakfast or we will miss it.” She placed Mary’s hand in hers and they both went down to the servants hall, and sat at the table that had already filled with servants and Carson and Ms.Hughes.

“My Lady! Still shadowing Anna I see…what is it you’d like to learn today?” Ms. Hughes asked, looking at Carson who was still disapproving of her being there in the first place.

Mary was eating a bite of eggs thinking of what she wanted Anna to show her…among trying to find areas of the Abbey to corner her in… “I think perhaps more about the dinner service? The right wines, the right mannerisms I suppose, the correct way to pour wine would be appreciated…as I spilled some on my father the other evening.” She heard a collective laugh from everyone at the table and this only boosted her ego. “Not that he didn’t have it coming.” She added for good measure and elicited more laughs, which quickly stopped at the stern look from Carson at all of them.

Anna was drinking her tea and watching her lover talk to her friends downstairs, and her two superiors, only causing her to fall more in love with Mary, which wasn’t something she could ever think was possible. Watching Mary laugh and interact with the downstairs staff, be invested in her job, and actually enjoy it, was something she had never expected. However, as she noticed more staff speaking to her without some infliction of fear, she now understood why Mary constantly asked her not to leave her. Mary was not one to be outwardly kind to anyone. Her mask was always on, and she never was intentionally pleasant to people she was having a conversation with. Unless you were someone she loved completely. Cora, Robert, Sibyl…herself…Isis…and Thomas. With her parents, her kindness was more out of a necessity, she was polite and dutiful, but with herself and Sibyl and Thomas she was the Mary that she had fallen in love with. Knowing that Mary had said that she was the reason she could show that side of herself made Anna sad, but also superior.

“Anna I’m sure you have other tasks to..train..Lady Mary on…but make sure to inform her on dinner service protocol. As that’s what she intends her day to be about.” Ms. Hughes said kindly, knowing that Anna, at this point, was free to do what she wanted with her time.

“Of course.” She replied, smiling into her tea.

The bells started ringing and the servants were off to start their day.

Mary and Anna sat still, only looking at one another smiling and giggling.

“Well, My Lady, dinner service? Shall I show you how to properly pour wine?” Anna said seeing Ms. Hughes smile as she left the room looking at them both.

Mary put her hand on her chin thinking. “Hmmm well…I actually have a small surprise for you…after we do what we need for the day…before dinner that is.” Mary cocked her head to the side in much the same way Anna did when she wanted to draw a reaction out of her.

Anna grabbed Mary’s breakfast plate and stacked it on top of hers handing it to Daisy. “Thank you, Daisy.”

Daisy didn’t leave immediately and looked at Mary. “I think what you and Anna have is beautiful. I hope to someday have that, “ and left before either of them could respond.

Mary’s mouth was open slightly, looking at Anna, who placed her hand over her own mouth smothering her laughter. “Oh well.”

Mary let out a loud giggle, placing her hand on Anna’s knee. “Well then.” She said.

Anna put her hand on top of Mary’s. “I believe we’ve been accepted…aside from some hallboys…I think our relationship isn’t so forbidden…oh especially if Daisy says so.” Anna pulled her hand up and kissed it quickly. “Now, you wanted to know how to serve properly? Is that only for the sole purpose of us being in that small room together, Mary Crawley?” Anna asked coyly walking towards the door to lead to the main foyer.

Mary followed her, tying the apron behind her back, keeping her ‘uncouth thoughts’ as Anna so delicately framed them as, to herself. “Yes. Show me how to serve properly.”

Anna led them into the hallway that was nestled next to the dining room.

“It’s not so boring seeing it this way.” Mary said.

Anna was putting different decanters in front of them. “What do you mean?”

Mary turned back and started helping Anna fill them with wine, but not by pouring, just placing the bottles near where Anna was. “Are you having me pour actual wine, I thought maybe just water.”

“Your family can afford some spilled wine…What do you mean it’s not as boring seeing it this way?” Anna asked again.

Mary thought for a few minutes about how to phrase her thoughts. “I only mean…now that I’ve been doing what you have done…and when I’m in there without you it just seems pointless. The dinners are so pointless, yet so important for some reason beyond me. You are important and that’s that.” Mary proceeded to grasp onto the decanter looking at Anna for direction. “Have I said something wrong?”

Anna shook her head. “No…I just didn’t ever think about that.” She placed her hands on Mary’s. “When you finish pouring the drink you turn the decanter, or bottle, so there are not any drops that get spilled…something I did on several occasions with you I might add.” She poured a glass as an example and then expertly put the wine back in the crystal decanter, impressing Mary who raised her eyebrows.

“Oh well I’m not sure I’ll be able to do that.”

“Well then…I’ll have you try it on your own..” Anna stood back looking at Mary who was so adorably confused, she had to hide her smile. Mary, in an apron, learning to pour wine, telling her how she detests the dinners she had to attend, how much she wanted to spend time with her.

“Alright well.” Mary poured a glass and turned the crystal as instructed by Anna. “Oh! I think I did it? Did I not?”

Anna was smiling Mary’s favorite. Eyes scrunched with a giggle. “You did, my darling, good job!” She placed the crystal glass down. “Now the red wine needs to breathe-”

Mary pulled Anna into her mouth and pushed her gently against the table, causing the glasses to shake.

Anna reciprocated the kiss and pushed Mary back behind the wine cabinet, only to flip her around and press herself against Mary’s back, trailing her hand down putting her fingers through the hem of her skirt.

“Mary…Can I-?”

“Yes.” Mary responded before Anna had even finished speaking.

One of Mary’s arms reached around to the back of Anna’s head, and the other was bracing the wall she was pressed against. “What if someone comes along?” She sighed as Anna started to move her fingers in the way she had missed.

Anna kissed the top of her shoulder. “Is this not something you have wanted?”

Mary moaned out as quietly as she could. “Yes.”

Anna knew it wouldn’t take long for Mary to finish under these circumstances, as a daring moment of intimacy was something she seemed to be turned on by.

Mary for once, was actually keeping the sounds escaping her mouth as quiet as possible.

“I…I’m going to…” Is all she could say as she pressed forward and clamped her legs around Anna’s hand.

Anna removed herself from Mary and helped straighten her outfit.

“Was it the red wine you were wondering about?” She turned Mary around who was still trying to regain her posture.

Mary’s eyes were dark.

A bustling of noises stirred around them in the dining room, and Mary decided to not act on the first urge she had, which was having Anna in this room as well.

“Learn about what again?” Shaking her head. “How to not think about having you intimately throughout the day?”

Anna stood back and leaned deviously against the table across from Mary. “That’s the fun part.” She winked walking towards the wine again.

They finished their duties, somehow, without interruption and moved on to Anna helping Mary to learn how to sew.

At the servants table, she instructed her how to not pluck her fingers with the needle, as she had done multiple times at this point, and had given Anna a stern look whenever she did so, as if it was her fault.

“My darling you asked for this-”

“How much longer….I still have something to show you.” Mary said, placing her own dress on the table.

Anna looked at the clock and pursed her lips. “Well, I’d say if we want to make this dinner with your family, and your former future husband, maybe two hours until we…should be dressing.” She grabbed the needle and thread from her and put it back into the box. “Why?”

Mary lifted her up from her seat. “I want to show you something.” She discarded her dress on the table not caring if it was marked. Her smile was infectious.

“Mary we shouldn’t leave that-”

“Just shut up and let me take you there.”

Mary practically slapped the sewing box out of Anna’s hand leaving it on the table.

“Oh I should-”

“Just follow me please…I’ve been waiting patiently all day making beds, pouring wine, and having ecstasy behind a cabinet…I want to show you something!” Mary tugged her hand and led her back up the stairs to the foyer, and through the library, and out the doors that led to the gardens.

Anna had an idea of what Mary was showing her. “Are you showing me-”

“Yes, but I thought we could plant some together today.” Mary was motioning for her to follow her with quick glances back.

The plot of the garden that had been tilled up perfectly for planting had been done, a bench was installed nearby, as well as a small hutch that had seeds and the tools for gardening.

Mary stood next to the surprise for Anna enthusiastically. Anna was distracted by her amber eyes glowing in the cascading sunlight that was slowly being blanketed by dark clouds.

Anna was beside herself with shock. She knew this is something Mary had planned, however seeing it was much different. She knew this was Mary’s idea, but also that Lord Grantham had helped complete this task made it even more special as if she was a part of the family…almost.

Anna’s thoughts were twirling around when Mary brought her back to reality.

“Well?” She was suddenly looking nervous, just as she had many times previously clenching and unclenching her fists. “I only thought you’d need someplace to rest and somewhere to store your-”

Anna walked forward and kissed her and when she pulled back, Mary was smiling. “It’s perfect.”

Anna opened the small hutch looking at the different boxes of seeds. “Ah. Here.”

She grabbed a handful of bulbs from the bin showing them to Mary. “These are your favorite, did you make certain to have them for me?”

Mary shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. “Perhaps.” She winked. “Let’s put them in the soil…I read that if they are not planted this time of year then they will not rise….something to do with the temperature of the soil.” Mary knelt down grabbing the small spade, motioning for Anna to follow her, who was still continuously shocked at how much Mary took note of her interests to the point of reading about them.

“You are correct…My Lady…” She curtoused before kneeling down as her and Mary planted the bulbs in a row, spaced apart, deep enough in the soil that Mary had her hands fully dirtied. Something she would have never thought she’d see. “So when did you read about the different times of year to plant bulbs for your favorite flower?”

Mary smiled, still patting the soil. “Our gardener…who also knows to water them accordingly; however, I predict rain soon, as the clouds are dark.” She looked over at Anna who was sitting sideways on the ground sifting her fingers though the freshly dug earth. Mary’s smile grew even further, remembering that Anna had said her favorite color was the color of the earth. The dirt. Brown. Like her own eyes. She at first had found it absurd, but seeing her doing what she loved it made sense. “Are you happy?’ She added sitting the same way Anna was.

Anna shook her head smiling, brushing the dirt off on her uniform before glancing up at Mary. “You couldn’t even imagine how happy I am.”

This made Mary’s heart burst and her smile widened as she looked down at the ground trying to hide it. Another thing Anna made a mental note to ask about.

Anna put her dirt covered hand onto Mary’s milky white fingertips.

“My darling…I only want you to be happy…preferably forever….preferably with me.” Mary said, pulling them up off the ground. “Now. I do think it will rain very soon.” She started to lead them back to the manor when Anna stopped them.

“Wait…” She looked up at the dark clouds that had formed over them. “Kissing your rain soaked skin is another thing that would make me happy.” Anna said, knowing Mary could never deny her of anything she requested. “Once it starts raining we can run back inside.”

Mary looked amused. “Well then…we’ll wait for the heavens to downpour us if that’s what you desire.” And as she was speaking drops of rain started slowly and then genuinely poured.

They stood there in the rain. Anna laughing and smiling, who loved the smell of rain and the feel of it, and Mary who was humoring Anna out of pure devotion.

“Is this what you wanted?” Mary raised her voice.

“Oh, don't you look like you're having fun.” Anna started kissing her girlfriend quickly in between laughs as the rain was truly drenching them.

Mary closed her eyes and started to laugh along with Anna. “Well…It’s not fun to me…but I’ll do anything for you.” Mary brushed Anna’s wet locks around her ears clearly unamused, but seeing Anna who was tilting her head back to feel the rain directly on her face she decided to do the same. “Hmm…well…it’s cold…and I suppose having a warm bath with you prior to dinner isn’t so bad…” Mary said over the sound of the rain.

Anna kissed her as she had dreamed of doing for so long as the rain soaked them. “You don’t find this terribly romantic?” She smiled into Mary’s shoulder, knowing that she was only uncomfortable at being in such a circumstance, but was pleasantly surprised when Mary laughed with her, the rain water falling off her face, catching on her long eyelashes.

“My love, anything with you is terribly romantic.” And she and Anna kissed in between their laughter until they were sufficiently soaked to the bone and Mary and her started walking quickly back to the Abbey.

Once inside, they were both beside themselves with laughter, Mary rung out her hair which had long fallen out of the knot that had been put up earlier. Anna did the same for her uniform with no avail.

“Oh damn…I didn’t think about-”

“Oh you didn’t think?” Mary wrung out her apron and splashed Anna with it. “Maybe standing in the rain would soak us?”

Anna’s face was full of joy. “I did expect that! Nonetheless, I forgot about ruining my uniform for work.”

Mary’s face was smug. “Well then, I supposed we should recreate that moment, not in your uniform that you distract me in.” She grabbed the front of it and kissed her. Both of their dresses dripping onto the rug.

“I see someone was caught in the rain.”

They separated quickly.

Cora sat herself down in the library smirking at them. “I think you should both clean up before dinner…unless you want your father to see you as a drowned rat Mary.” She winked. “Anna, I suppose some of your flowers are getting watered? Did you like the garden area we made for you?”

Anna was in a conflict of embarrassment and happiness. She hadn’t ever had a parent type to care about her ever. “Yes, Cora. I did plant some bulbs, with Mary’s help, and I hope to present some to you when they are grown.”

Mary, who was still giddy, walked over to her mother, “Oh but Mama wouldn’t you like a hug?”

Cora stood up and backed away, chuckling. “Mary Josephine, you will not ruin my dress!”

Mary stopped her teasing. “Oh fine.” She was still grinning from ear to ear. “I suppose we should dry off and become…presentable for dinner…which I am not serving by the way.” She looked at her mother.

“Mary, I never found a problem with it…but seeing you work for once was enjoyable.” She said backing further away as she joked with her daughter.

Mary guffawed. “Oh you!” She rushed towards her and kissed her cheek while at the same time pushed some of her drenched locks on her face.

“Hey!” Cora stepped back further as Carson entered the library.

“My Lady what has-” He gathered the scene and smiled down at the carpet. Seeing Mary this way was something that was rare. “Would you like something to-”

“No, Carson I’m just fine.” Cora was laughing. “Be off with you both.” She nudged Mary out of the room. “And we will see you both for dinner.”

Anna bowed slightly at Carson and motioned for her and Mary to leave.

Cora was still laughing quietly to herself when she noticed Carson was watching them go with a certain glow in his eyes. “What is it, Carson?”

“I have never seen Lady Mary happier.” He smiled and left the library.

*****

Matthew was with his mother as their car was stopping right outside the Abbey’s grand front doors. He was more confident since breaking off his engagement with the eldest daughter, and he also was excited to see her. He felt challenged by their conversations and it was refreshing to have someone so witty to speak to. He also wanted to get to know Anna more, as from what he had heard, was fully accepted by the family at this point.

Robert greeted them in the foyer and led them into the library. “Isobel, you must be proud of your son. For taking on such a task as this.”

She sat in a chair adjacent to Violet’s. “I am. I am also eager to know this…maid whom your daughter has fallen for.”

“Mother.” Matthew started in on-

“Oh that was not negative. I meant that genuinely. I spoke to Mary at one point and knew from there that she and Matthew were not a match.” She graciously took the small glass of bourbon from Thomas.

“Well…to be honest…I have nothing bad to say about the maid.” Robert was coming to conclusions in his mind as he spoke. “And I have not seen my daughter as happy as she is with her…I don’t approve…but-”

“It seems as if you do.” Isobel said, tempting his resolve.

“Mother!” Matthew once again spoke up. “I apologize, Robert. My mother has strong views.”

The girls filtered into the room taking their seats.

“Not shocking that Mary and Anna are not here yet…they had quite the afternoon out in the garden.” Cora said realising how her words sounded, “I mean planting in the garden and being caught in the storm.” She laughed to herself. Sibyl and Edith started to ask about it when the subject of the conversation entered the room.

Mary was in one of her black beaded dresses, long gloves, hair knotted. Anna was in another new gown, dark blue with silky fabric that clasped at the back of her neck, she wore a long fishtail braid down the side of her face hiding the scar she was so self conscious of.

Violet of course was the first one to note their attire. “Anna, you look wonderful. I do think whoever is making your dresses must know this is your color.”

Mary smiled. “Well I’ve been having them made and telling the dressmaker which colors are best for my Anna.”

Anna blushed at the way Mary claimed her as her own in these casual conversations.

“Thank you My Lady…” Anna answered Violet sitting herself next to Isobel. Mary sat herself next to Matthew.

“Welcome back. I hope the Abbey is still someplace you are still invested in…” Mary felt slightly awkward speaking to him.

Matthew placed a hand quickly on her knee. “Never mind the estate…you seem happy. I am glad to see it. How have you been? I was hoping you’d accompany me on a tour soon…give me your thoughts.” He sipped his drink.

Mary smiled into her lap. She was smitten with him, but only in a way that was adoringly so. She had never really had any friends she cared for. Matthew was not judgemental and was more than supportive of her. “I’d love to!” She answered.

Anna made a mental note to tease Mary about this later watching them.

“Anna, I’d love it if you’d also join us. Like I said, I'd like to hear what the staff have to say. Robert of course as well…I’m new to this sort of thing obviously.” Matthew added for good measure.

Robert turned back around from the drink cart taking in the picture of his heir, his mother, his daughters, his eldests daughter's female lover, speaking together so comfortably. He was trying to find some detest for it, but it felt warm to him. Seeing Mary so happy.

“Of course we can go sometime this week…We are hosting a dinner for a substantial group of investors this Friday. However, Mary might have prior engagements as of recent, as she has been learning the intricacies of service first hand, which I will let her tell you of.” He swallowed his drink gesturing as they followed through to the dining room.

Violet held back with her son. “Robert…you’re doing so admirably…keep it up.” She patted his shoulder in a patronizing way which elicited an eye roll.

“Mother I-”

“Shouldn’t we follow them?” Violet said, walking past Thomas who was standing at the door. “Barrow, so nice to see you.” she added for good measure.

They all sat down, this time Anna was seated between Edith and Cora and Mary was seated across from her next to Matthew and Isobel.

The dinner service proceeded accordingly.

“So, Mary. How was your time acting as a servant?” Isobel asked.

Mary raised her eyebrows and started in on her dinner that was being offered to her by Thomas. “Thank you Barrow…well I know much more than I did before…it’s difficult work…and I plan on shadowing more of Anna’s daily tasks. I did however learn how to make a bed and serve wine…you should come for dinner on one of the evenings where I am serving.” She smiled.

Robert sat his silverware down. “Oh so once was not enough?”

Anna couldn’t help herself and spoke, “Nobody get’s anything properly on the first try My Lord.” She sipped her wine awkwardly, noticing everyone always looked at her when she spoke.

Robert rolled his eyes. “I suppose you are right, Anna.”

This made their conversation flow more. Anna interacted with Cora and Edith…which she really enjoyed speaking to Sibyl of course, but talking with Edith she enjoyed much more, which further proved her theory that her and Mary were more alike than they cared to admit.

“Which is your favorite poet?” Edith asked.

Anna swallowed her bite. “Eliot…. Prufrock specifically, have you read it?”

Edith lit up. “I have! I actually enjoy writing quite a bit. I’ve thought about trying my hand at it more, however it’s never been something that’s been an opportunity.” She added frowning slightly.

Anna was always slowly gathering that, despite having all the money in the world, and all the opportunities she assumed were offered to them, and all the prospects, the daughters were smothered by the duties that were expected of them as highborn women which were to marry highborn men.

“Would you like to learn how to write poems, My Lady?” Anna asked Edith.

“I’d like to write about how unfair it is for women to be so…oppressed…and how we aren’t allowed the same rights as men.” She said.

Anna couldn’t have agreed more.

“Then I think you should.” She smiled at her. “I am not a good writer…I’ve only dabbled in poetry which is much different, but if you’d like to write poetry I can help.” She offered.

Edith liked this. “You would?”

Anna was shocked at her confusion. “Of course?”

“Well. That’s something. I don’t think many would take my interest seriously.” Edith placed the second course of dinner on her place which was offered by William. “Thank you, William.”

Anna had known that Edith wasn’t…necessarily taken seriously by her family which endlessly confused her, but wanted to further connect with Edith…one Mary seemed to detest…and didn’t understand why.

“Well then. Let’s plan on it.” Anna said, which gained a wide smile from Edith.

Robert was talking with Isobel about the hospital which was gaining the most interest from Cora and Sibyl.

“I appreciate you offering for Anna and I to accompany you.” Mary said to Matthew.

“Well to be honest…I do enjoy your company and I’m sure I’d enjoy Anna’s as she’s the one you’ve chosen…not to say I am jealous or anything, but whoever has gained Lady Mary Crawley’s interest is intriguing to me.”

Mary looked at him with one of her withering stares. “I am sorry what is it about me that seems so…so…rude…that someone like Anna would be able to-”

“You’re a formidable force, Mary. Anna has contained that. That in itself is commendable.” He said. “So will you and your…join me soon for a tour of the grounds?”

Mary was feeling between annoyed and humbled. “Of course.” She sighed. “I’ll have to ask Anna of course, I am still learning of her duties…which is more than I can say for you. Have you ever made a bed? Served dinner? Sewed?” She was digging a rise out of him on purpose.

Matthew laughed. “I have in fact made my own bed and sewed, however I’ve never done anything as close to what your Anna has.” He smiled.

Her Anna.

Her Anna was watching them closely, feeling a tug of jealousy at the smiles he was able to gain from Mary and how easy it was for them both to interact. She loved it. She hated it. She enjoyed seeing Mary so comfortable with him. Was this her Thomas? Maybe it was.

Their dinner was finishing up. A pleasant evening without any conflict…maybe this was as Tom was not present and at the thought he was brought up.

“And Sibyl…what about this Branson…When will we get to meet him?” Isobel asked.

Sibyl always lit up when he was mentioned in such a way that Mary did when Anna’s name was spoken.

“Oh well…we did have him for dinner the other evening…he’s-”

“He’s invited for another dinner.” Robert finished her sentence looking grim. “And he was very kind, Isobel, you’ll meet him as well.” He stood up, which he did often when the Irish chauffeur was mentioned.

“Oh Papa, thank you! I’d love for us all to have dinner together again.” Sibyl said.

“And so you shall, My darling.” He said leaving the dining room.

They all stood up and followed suit. Something Anna always found absolutely absurd.

Mary was quickly at her side looping their arms together. “I missed you.” She whispered.

Anna smiled. “For an hour? I could see you across the table…with Matthew.” She raised her eyebrows taunting Mary. “Is he funnier than I am?”

Mary stopped them. “Absolutely not! I-”

“Mary, I am joking…I like Mr. Matthew quite a bit.” Anna kissed her cheek quickly forgetting that they were so exposed to the family, who did not miss this sign of affection. Once they were all settled Robert cleared his throat.

“So, Anna, do you think the plot of land for your garden is sufficient?” He looked directly at her which always made her uncomfortable.

“My Lord it’s perfect…Thank you.” She answered.

“Oh Anna, just call me Robert..” He drained his glass and had Thomas refill it who did so barely containing his grin.

The room was silent as they were all looking at Anna, including Mary. “Yes Robert. It’s just perfect, thank you.” She said hoping that would be sufficient.

Robert nodded. “Well I also purchased this.” He walked over to his desk and unwrapped a book and handed it to Anna awkwardly.

Anna looked at the cover. ‘Poetry of the 20th Century.’

Edith looked over at the book and looked up at her father, “Oh how lovely.”

Mary grabbed the book out of her hands, opening the pages and reading snippets in her mind. “This is for my Anna?”

There it was again. Mary claiming her.

Robert scoffed. “Why would I hand it to her if it was not for her…yes…you did say you enjoyed poetry…this is a collection…all in one…also I’m not sure we have one in the library so it will be a well needed addition.”

Matthew stood up and gently grabbed the book from Mary sitting next to her. “This is quite the compilation. You’ll enjoy this. I have one similar. We should compare notes when you're done reading it.” He smiled and handed it back to Anna.

“Thank you, Robert.” Anna said, placing her hand on top of the book as if it were something delicate in her hands.

He grinned looking uncomfortable as ever. “Well…I think I’ll turn in.” He kissed his daughters goodnight and nodded to Matthew and Isobel, and rolled his eyes at his mother.

The silence was broken by Violet.

“Anna, I believe you’ve accomplished something nobody ever thought would happen.” Violet stood up gesturing for Carson. “I’d like to leave as well…Isobel and Matthew…” She said, “We’re going in the same direction.”

Matthew stood up as did Mary.

“I’ll see you soon.” He kissed her hand and then placed his other hand on her face. He followed Violet into the foyer which left Cora and the sisters in the library.

Cora stood up and scooted Mary over so she could sit close and look at the book. “You’ll have to find your favorites and read them to me sometime my dear.”

Anna was not accustomed to having a parental figure give any semblance of love towards her. Something she made a mental note to speak to Mary about, however, she couldn’t help it and leaned quickly into Cora’s shoulder. “I promise I’ll find my favorite one for you.”

Cora smiled and kissed the side of Anna’s face and sat up. “Well. I’m off to bed.”

Sibyl and Edith also said their goodnights leaving Mary and Anna alone.

Anna was holding the book and stood up reaching out for Mary’s hand who took it without hesitation.

“I love you.”

Anna laughed. “I know.” She followed Mary up the stairs in their comfortable silence.

They entered their room and did their routine of dressing themselves for bed.

“I’ll have to find another uniform for tomorrow, as this one is drenched and not even remotely close to being dry.” She had hung up her work outfit hoping it would dry enough for the next day.

They settled themselves in bed and Mary pulled her into her arms. “Well if you remember…that was all your idea… I especially didn’t want to be trapped in a rainstorm.”

Anna giggled into Mary’s shoulder. “Oh, but tell me you did enjoy it.”

Mary scoffed. “I actually did not enjoy it.”

This sent Anna into such a fit of laughter she leaned back and had to stifle her voice. “Oh, Mary.”

Mary’s face was still stern. “I do not enjoy being drenched…but you do… clearly… so.” She kissed her. “My…rain soaked skin…is that what you said?”

Anna was trying to compose herself. “Yes. I enjoyed it immensely if you must know.” She said sitting up. “And I think you did enjoy it yourself…in the moment.”

Mary rolled her eyes. “Okay…maybe just a little.”

“I’ve not seen you like that with your mother…it was cute.”

Mary smiled. Her eyes crinkled. “I did love that as well…what else do you have to bring to my attention that I have somehow missed today.”

Anna pushed her hair back and kissed her cheek. “You and Matthew were quite…familiar.” Anna couldn’t hide the hint of jealousy.

Mary noticed immediately.

“Oh so you’re jealous?” She sat up leaning over Anna.

Anna hemmed and hawed. “I wouldn’t say jealous…I like seeing you with Matthew…I just…Oh I was jealous.” She gave in.

“Ha!” Mary said. “So, you’re jealous of my previously intended?”

“Why is that such a bad thing? Would you love seeing me with someone who-”

“I’d fucking hate it and would want to murder him.” Mary said, interrupting her without a semblance of regret in her voice.

“Mary!’

“I would want him murdered. Someone who was flirting with you who was not me? However…Matthew is not in love with me…he’s a good man.’ Mary said.

“I can see that. You are so ridiculous! So tell me…if you saw me with some man…and we were betrothed at some point…and I was laughing with him-”

“I’d fucking murder him.”

Anna’s mouth hung open. “Mary! Really!”

Mary shrugged. “I did promise not to lie to you.” She started to kiss her shoulders and neck as they both were giggling together.

Anna finally was able to pull them apart. “I do love affection from your mother…if that sounds odd…I’ve never had that before…and your father buying a book for me…I just feel like…I don’t deserve it.”

Mary was pressing her head into Anna’s neck. “What do you mean darling?”

Mary had always had loving parents so she didn’t understand the feeling as Anna did.

“I didn’t have a father…well…one who stuck around…and my mother was always so…” She started fiddling with the top of the sheet covering them. “My mother wasn’t loving in the slightest. Your parents have shown me more kindness than I have known. It might be something I missed out on and now…oh I don’t know how to say it without sounding ridiculous.”

Mary knelt over her. “Tell me if you can.”

Anna looked into those beautiful brown eyes so full of concern. “Prior to you…nobody has cared about me. So for your parents to…make a garden for me and for your father to give me a book and your mother to seem genuinely interested in me. It feels like something new and something I never expected from life.” Anna finished looking away from Mary, almost embarrassed.

This made Mary’s chest tighten with that feeling you have prior to tears, but she pushed it down. “As much as my father continues to deny our relationship, his actions say otherwise. He would never do any of those things if he didn’t care. It’s not only him caring about me but he cares about you.” Mary pressed her face into Anna’s hair inhaling deeply, something she did to ground herself. “I think slapping him helped.” She started laughing.

Anna rolled her eyes and laid on her back away from Mary. “God damnit for some reason I had forgotten I did that…I should still apologize…I cannot believe he didn’t have me thrown in jail for it.”

Mary scooted closer to her, never wanting any space between them. “He knows that if he had done that I’d never speak to him again…and he loves me.”

They laid silently for some time.

“What is this…function your father was talking about? Happening at the end of the week?” Anna asked tentatively.

Mary had to think for a minute as to what Anna was referring to. “Oh. Yes. We have it every year. Investors of the estate come and we have some stupid dinner…dancing…I loathe it.” She kissed Anna’s chest and laid back down.

“I suppose I’ll be serving you all as I cannot accompany you as your date.”

Mary sat up. “I hadn’t thought about that. I’d rather you join us.”

Anna scoffed, “Mary I’m not sure joining in on something so important would be advisable. I'd have to make conversation with people about topics I know absolutely nothing about.”

Mary was concocting some plan in her head, Anna could tell. “And do not suggest I join you as it will not happen.”

Mary sighed. “How do you know what I am even thinking? And yes. You will attend. I do not want to be surrounded by random men wanting to marry me only for my status, knowing you are bringing drinks around to all of us.”

“The idea of that is daunting. I don’t believe your parents would approve of-”

“They will. You can be my friend…from…London…which is not far fetched…we cannot dance or…” Mary was becoming increasingly sadder the more she thought about how she could never be openly with the love of her life.

“Mary.”

“Anna.”

“If you would like me to, I’ll attend…but you must promise to not do anything to out us.” Anna snuggled further into her chest. “I don’t want anything to happen to you. Your family may accept us, but outside the Abbey nobody else will.”

Mary nodded, but was envisioning Anna in a black gown, holding her hand, being twirled around to music, them sneaking off into a corner of the room to-

“And I know what you're thinking. There cannot be anything of the sort…of us sneaking off.” Anna said, looking up at her.

“Damn you are so good at that.” She held her tighter. “Well then…I’ll ask about it tomorrow more.” Mary gripped her tightly…as if she’d disappear. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

*****

A week had passed and Mary, having followed Anna around, was becoming somewhat of an expert in the household chores that she had wanted to be familiar with. She even helped the hallboys roll the carpets back in the foyer for the dinner service that was being prepared for the house and the investors in the estate. Including Matthew, who had walked with Mary around the village,without Anna, being educated on the different owners and where they could improve certain lodging. A most enjoyable afternoon for Mary, who increasingly was becoming one of Matthew’s close friends. Matthew was always asking about her relationship with Anna and smiled when he was told of how happy Mary was. Which wasn’t hard to tell, whenever Anna was mentioned Mary’s cheeks blushed, and she smiled at the ground and always said how much she loved Anna. Which Matthew was truly happy to hear.

On the afternoon the gathering would be, Matthew inquired about if Anna would be attending or not.

“Will she be there? Or is it too risky?” He asked.

Mary looked nervous, but resolved. “After speaking with my parents, who both agreed she should attend as if she did not, she would be serving us drinks, I don’t think it’s risky. I just have to contain myself.” She smiled to herself. “Which will be hard.”

Matthew chuckled. “Is she your friend? In this specific scenario?” He asked.

Mary shook her head in frustration. “Unfortunately, yes. The family and staff, who are all privy to us of course, know that she will be attending…not as mine…but as a family friend.” Mary looked downtrodden saying this.

Matthew grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. “All that matters is that you know what you both are…the only people that matter are your family and Anna’s family.”

Mary shook her head once again. “Anna doesn’t have a family…just a sister she talks to every so often. She has started to refer to my family as hers…which makes me indescribably pleased.” Mary laughed, holding onto Matthew's hand. “I only want to give her everything.” She smiled up at him.

Matthew smirked and released her hand. “You know. I am bringing someone.”

Mary stopped them. “You are? Who is she?” She said enthusiastically.

“Her name is Lavina. I met her in London…she’s very nervous to meet everyone…specifically you…as she believes you and I will be the ultimate…endgame…I haven’t of course said that you do not prefer men.” He added laughing which elicited a small shove from Mary.

“It’s not that I do not prefer men…you are all just so…oh I guess I do not in the slightest.” Mary started to lose the argument very quickly.

Matthew walked her up to the Abbey doors. “Well then. I’ll see you later tonight?”

Mary clasped his hand quickly in reply.

“Mary.” He nodded as the car was pulling up for him.

Mary watched him go, waving. She felt a glow in her chest when she spent time with him that was unlike what she had with Anna, and now that she was thinking about it, she had never had a close friend. This must be what Anna felt when she was with Thomas.

Weaving around the servants setting up for the dinner, she went looking for Anna.

She ran into Gwen who was carrying a tray of polished silverware for the table. “Oh I can help.” She grabbed the tray from Gwen, who was of course now accustomed to Mary helping.

“Thank you My Lady. Are you excited for this dinner tonight?” She asked, picking them up from the tray and setting them on the fresh linen of the long table. “And Anna is joining?”

Mary looked conflicted. “She is joining…I insisted upon it…despite her reservations…however she is just my friend.” She winked. “I did get her a new gown, has she shown you?”

Gwen nodded. “It’s very fine, My Lady. I already fitted Anna in it so she could see how it looked.” Gwen put the empty tray under her arm. “Well I have to be off…” She smiled and left.

Mary looked at the long table, knowing how tedious and tiring the evening would be without her being able to speak about her and Anna openly like she has been able to with her family. Which had become so normal. Her father would check the garden that Anna had been growing her flowers in, her mother asking about how her writing was, even her damned sister Edith spending time with Anna, Sibyl bringing her beau around more. It was as if their family was growing in a special, unique, and progressive way. Unlike any other family Mary had known.

“Mary, are you planning on finishing the table?’ Thomas said entering the room seeing her lost in her thoughts.

Mary turned around, setting her perturbed eyes on him. “I’d actually rather be serving than attending if you must know. Have you seen Anna?”

He started adjusting the silverware for each seat. “She’s up in your room I believe…nerves wracked…” He said, looking seriously at her. “Just try and see things through her eyes…this is not something someone of our status attends.”

Mary agreed and then stopped him, “Speaking of…I’d like to…after this damned dinner…maybe next week see that-”

“My day off is on Wednesday.” Thomas said already knowing what she was trailing at.

She took a deep breath. “Well then…I guess I’ll see you later…would you meet us in the courtyard? I think having that to look forward to would help.” She grinned.

“Oh My Lady, is that so?” He patted her cheek teasingly with his hand. “You wanna hang with the-”

She slapped his hand away, “I’ll have you sacked!” She turned to leave.

Mary walked around the servants setting up for this stupid insignificant event, and went up the stairs to her bedroom where she found Anna reading next to the window.

“I was told you were up here.”

Anna reached out her hand for Mary’s. “How was your time with Matthew? He’s attending tonight I assume.”

Mary sat on the arm of the chair kissing the top of her head. “He is and he is bringing someone with him…Lavina….” Mary raised her eyebrow. “I suppose I can rely on him to help keep the wolves at bay.”

Anna scoffed, “I highly doubt anyone would even want to even speak to me.” She sat the book down on the windowsill, grabbing Mary’s waist so she was sitting in her lap. “I’ve never been desirable as you have…I think I’ll be more worried about men wanting to scoop you up to propose.”

Mary hung her legs over the side of the chair and her arms wrapped around Anna’s neck. “I’m awful, remember…I’ll just be my normal self so nobody even thinks about wanting to spend a lifetime with me.”

This made both of them laugh.

“You’re also beautiful…especially in that dress you will be wearing….which I’ll be…” Anna kissed her softly. “In shambles over watching you from afar….and who am I again? Your close friend? From where? How do I know your family-”

“My darling, nobody really pays attention to those types of things. You’ll look the part and have my family on your side, so you’ll be perfectly safe as long as I can keep my hands off of you.” Mary nestled her face into the side of Anna’s neck.

“Well…I suppose we should think about getting ready soon. Am I supposed to dress you…leave…and then-”

“You're overthinking it, sweetheart. We’ll go down as we always have…remember… female friendships can also be close…and this afternoon I realized I only have close male friendships.” Mary stood up grabbing Anna with her.

Anna started to undress her. “Is that such a bad thing?”

Mary took a moment to respond. “Not at all…maybe it’s simply because I have sisters…having men who care about me in a non…sexual way is really nice.”

She stepped out of her day wear and Anna grabbed the elaborate dress that was specifically made for this occasion out of the wardrobe. “Oh my…” Anna started fitting Mary in a long black gown. The sleeves thin and translucent with a beaded choker, much like the one she always adored. “Mary…You look divine.”

Mary looked at herself in the mirror. “I wish I could dance with you tonight.” She sounded so sad.

Anna fastened the back of the delicate dress and turned her around and kissed her deeply. “Someday, you and I will dance together…with music for once…and I’ll be able to hold you…however it will not be with many strangers watching ... .oh I’ll have to change my accent.”

Mary furrowed her eyebrows. “You will do no such thing.”

“Mary…I cannot sound like a peasant around your aristocrat friends-”

“They are not my friends.” She walked over to the wardrobe and gathered the new dress over her arm. “Now I had this made for you specifically for tonight…” She held it up.

“Gwen fitted me in it…it still seems too much.”

It was black and in the same fashion as Mary’s, however there were no sleeves and the shoulders had strings of dark beads hanging off. The waistline was tight which would curve around Anna’s small frame delicately.

“And I will be taking it off of you later…can I style your hair in a new way?” Mary started to fit the dress over Anna and when it was on she was beside herself with desire. “Oh damn…I might give us away this evening.”

Anna looked absolutely gorgeous. “You will do no such thing. Now sit down…let me fix your hair first. What style do you want my darling?”

Mary hummed and then held her hands up and back down to her knees. “Honestly my love, it doesn’t fucking matter.”

This sent them both into a long fit of laughter. “Mary!”

“Anna!” She caught her eyes in the mirror. “Honestly, I don’t care…just do the normal knot…I’ll just want you to undo it after this stupid dinner…so I can have my way with you.”

Anna smirked as she quickly styled Mary’s hair as she had done a hundred times. “Really…well…what are you planning on doing to me then?” She started kissing her neck. “Am I to be satisfied?” She whispered into her ear.

Mary stood up quickly pushing Anna against the bedpost. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out…my love.” She kissed her slowly. “Maybe I’ll…drink you up…or watch as you come undone…or pull you so tightly against me I can breathe your gasps into my mouth.”

Anna was fully turned on at this point, and grabbed Mary’s lower back and pushed her hips in. “What if I demand all of that?”

“What if I demand all of that?” Mary mimicked her words.

They stayed in their erotic standoff for some time kissing and caressing. Wasting time that they needed to be spending on readying for this dinner, which they could hear was starting already as the muffled sounds of guests were traveling up to the hallway where Mary’s room was.

“You still need to fix my hair.” Anna whispered into Mary’s mouth.

“Sit down.” Mary said with some difficulty. “Now…I know you prefer your hair down, but I’d like to pin it in the same fashion as mine. It will work better with this gown.”

Anna nodded in agreement untangling her thoughts from what she really wanted to do.

Mary folded and tied her long blonde hair up into the same style as she was wearing. “Look I did it! Oh how did you ever learn how to do this? That was so tedious!” Mary watched as Anna stood up looking like a vision of wealth. “You are…so beautiful.” Mary said.

Anna was still looking at herself in the mirror when she turned around. “I’ll do then?”

Mary grabbed her hand and led her toward their door but before she could bring herself from opening it, she pushed Anna against it, her favorite place for her, and moved her mouth across Anna’s…they both were getting carried away.

“Mary…we should go…” Anna whispered.

Mary practically growled. “I supposed we should.” And opened her bedroom door.

Mary was nervous for different reasons, but not as much as Anna was. Anna had only had these types of evenings with the immediate family and not guests. She felt wildly out of her comfort zone, especially not being able to look to or cling to Mary for support, who upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, looked at her with a sadness, and immediately put on her hostess face. Anna, who was instructed by Mary, walked over to the side of the room next to Cora who hooked her arm onto Anna’s.

“My dear you look absolutely gorgeous!” She said not letting go of her arm, which Anna was very grateful for. “Now…the only thing you need to do is just smile. Do not worry. If you need saving we all know to do so ... .and you don’t have to dance with anyone if you do not want to…which won't happen until after dinner.” She knelt her head quickly into Anna’s.

Anna was so grateful for this reassurance. “Thank you Cora….truly.” She walked with her towards the side of the room and sat in a chair next to her accepting a drink from one of her coworkers…wondering where Thoms was. Feeling awkward as ever.

As she was watching Mary being summoned around the room she saw an older man approach them to talk with Cora, who true to her word, did not leave her side.

Anna sat and sipped her drink when a very handsome man approached her.

“Hello. I don’t believe I’ve met you before? What brings you to Downton?”

In Anna’s mind she thought, ‘I am dating the eldest daughter.’

“I’m a friend of the families. Mary and I knew each other in our childhood.” She said, trying to mask her accent. “I happened to be visiting…unknowingly that this…event was happening.” She tried to laugh off her awkwardness, but the man seemed to find this endearing.

“What is your name?”

Anna’s heart was pounding for some reason. Like this was her first time meeting anyone new.

“Anna.” She stood up and reached her hand towards his.

He smiled widely. “Anna then…it’s very nice to meet you…My name is-”

“Anna, I am so glad you made it!” Mary, summoned by powers beyond what Anna knew, was suddenly there. “Lady Mary Crawley.” Mary held out her hand and the gentleman reciprocated the action.

“Of course Lady Mary. I was only introducing myself to your friend Anna. My name is Drew…my family actually owns quite a bit of real estate in the area and-”

“And we know of your family! And are so glad you came.” Mary was dangerously close to Anna, who stepped sideways slightly.

“It’s very nice to meet you.” Anna said politely.

Drew, who was still only looking at Anna smiled, clearly smitten. “May I escort you?” He asked as the rest of the party started to enter the dining room.

Anna, who had no idea how to decline his offer, smiled and shook her head. “Of course. Thank you.” She took his arm and glanced back at Mary who looked like she might set fire to the entire estate.

He was ever the gentleman, pulling her seat out for her, next to himself, as he engaged in conversation with the others around him. Anna started to feel as if she was acting in some play. She made brief eye contact with Sibyl who sat across from her, and Edith ,who was next to her, gave her a reassuring nod.

Mary was sitting next to Matthew and his new love interest, Lavina, and was talking with her politely, but every other word her eyes darted towards Anna like she was desperately missing her.

Anna smiled and nodded at the banter. The table being full of people she had no idea who they were. The man who had escorted her was talking with Robert about something she didn’t care about, and she did her best to pretend to listen to them all, when Thomas entered with a large tray of food. The guilt in her chest ached. She should be helping him.

They made eye contact and he winked at her.

“So, Anna. You came to Downton to visit your old friend?” Drew was drawing her back.

She straightened her posture. “Yes.” She said, noticing Mary, who was on the furthest end of the table, immediately looked at them.

“How long will you be staying here?” He asked politely.

Anna looked over at him. He was quite handsome. Dark hair, dark eyes, tall. The epitome of what any woman would find attractive. “A few days. I had completely forgotten about this dinner as I said, so I do feel as if I am imposing somewhat.” She tried to not let her lowborn accent slip. “Mary and I have been friends for years, and I couldn’t help but visit since I was in the area.” She took a hefty sip of her wine.

“Where is it where you normally reside?” He asked.

Anna had somewhat concocted a fake backstory, as to be prepared for questions like this, and quickly chose the simplest thing she could think of. “London.”

Edith, who was closest, picked up on the conversation and decided to intervene. “Anna visited us quite a bit growing up. It’s been some time since she’s gotten away from London. She knows our Aunt as well. She’s a close family friend.” Edith smiled at Anna who was eternally grateful for the help.

“And is there…someone who is interested?” He asked

Edith, unable to find a solid excuse, looked at Sibyl who was across from her and cleared her throat gesturing to Anna.

“I do think there might be…isn't that right, Anna?” Sibyl said.

“Ah well…Maybe I could at least have one dance after dinner?” He said, placing a hand on Anna’s arm.

Mary was all too attentive to this interaction, despite not being able to hear what the conversation was, but at seeing this man put his hand on her arm, her face molded into something that resembled pure rage.

“Mary. It’s just dinner.” Matthew patted her leg quickly, hiding his amusement over how possessive she was over Anna.

She regained her control and breathed in deeply as if she were diving into water. “Thank you.” She grasped his hand quickly before letting go, still watching Anna out of the corner of her eye, while trying to interact with the guests to the best of her ability.

Luckily, Drew had not pestered Anna about anything aside from random stereotypical questions, which she could fabricate the lies easily with. Anna wasn’t entirely uncomfortable speaking with him. She was flattered that he was so interested, and he was charming and polite, seeking interest in her.

Robert stood up along with others, who followed him out into the foyer for the after portion of the evening, the part Anna was the most nervous for.

Maybe she could sneak off through the servants door without anybody notice-

“Would you dance with me?” Drew asked, holding his hand out as a slow tune played echoing in the grand hall.

Anna smiled, remembering that Mary had to put up with this most of her life. Their roles suddenly reversed. Mary learning how to act as a servant and her learning how to pretend to be highborn. “I’d love to.” She said and he led them to the middle of the room amongst numerous others who were dancing. He pressed them close together and Anna felt so uncomfortable she wanted to scream.

“You are too beautiful to be hidden away in London…may I visit you?” He asked, looking her in the eyes. “Much too beautiful.” He was being very polite, turning them around to the music. Just a man who was-

“Anna! I haven’t spoken with you all evening!’ Mary practically snatched her from the man she was dancing with. “Oh I am sorry, Drew…I haven’t caught up with Anna in some time…you’ll forgive me for sneaking her away.”

Drew was obviously disappointed. “Not at all Lady Mary…only if I can see Anna again before I leave.” He walked away with a handsome smile at her.

Anna turned to face Mary who looked absolutely manic. “Mary! What are you doing?”

“That man wants to court you.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “I suppose he does, but you are going to look ridiculous if-”

Another man approached them.

“Excuse me My Lady…but may I have a dance?”

Mary’s eyes were even more furious than they had been prior. “I do not-”

“Yes. I’d love to.” Anna answered and followed the man back to the middle of the room leaving Mary clenching her fists when Sibyl was at her side.

“Sister…it’s all for show.”

Mary was chewing the side of her cheeks in frustration.

“It’s safer this way, remember?” Sibyl held onto her arm and pulled her back towards their mother who was looking concerned at the way Mary was acting.

“Mary my dear what did you expect-”

“Oh damn. I knew she would be popular. I just did not foresee how it would make me-”

A man walked up to Mary. “Lady Mary may we-”

“Absolutely not.” She said barely even looking at him.

“Mary! You want this to work with you and Anna. You will have to find a medium of being with her in public!” Cora said, rubbing her back.

Mary sat next to her mother watching Anna dance with this strange man. She looked beyond gorgeous. She also noticed several other men almost biting at the bit to ask her to wait for an opportunity to dance with her. Anna being a new face among their guests had not gone unnoticed. Mabe Mary was being overly protective, but if she had the means she’d stick Barrow on all of them.

This Drew man was watching her intensely, which made Mary’s evil veil come out, wanting to slap him and grab Anna and lead them back up to her bedroom where she could kiss her endlessly and-

“Mary, don't look so upset…this is all ceremonial.” Her father was sitting next to her. She was trapped between her parents watching the love of her life dance with strange men.

“How would you feel?” She said.

Robert thought about this for a bit before answering. “Oh I’d feel angry…” He finally said. “Would you like me to go save her?” He handed Mary his drink, who grabbed it quickly.

“Yes.”

Robert stood up and walked up to Anna. “May I cut in?” He asked politely, as any man who would be dancing with her wouldn’t have a choice but to step back. “Thank you.” He clasped his hands in Anna’s and started guiding them in circles. “So. What do you think?”

Anna, who was wanting to do anything but be in the middle of this room, shook her head leaning in closer to Robert. “Thank you.” She simply answered. Feeling a warmth of safety now that she was not being held by some stranger.

Robert smiled. “I knew my daughter loved you…for many reasons…from many moments…but I do believe she will commit arson if I were to let you dance with another man.”

This made Anna laugh outright. “Well it’s not like I can dance with her! Besides I’m just a friend from London who is visiting…or at least that’s what I’ve said.” Anna laughed.

Robert broke them apart and led her towards Mary. “Well. I’ll save you whenever you need.”

Mary immediately stood up and gestured to Anna to sit next to her, her expression dark. “Thank you, Papa.” She said looking up at her father who winked at them both and took Cora’s hand leading her for a dance as well.

Mary sat as close as she possibly could next to Anna. “I did not like that.”

“Oh and you think I did? Mary you’re acting-”

“I want to dance with you and kiss you, but I cannot….come with me.” Mary, who took a great deal of restraint from wanting to clasp her hand in Annas, gestured towards the servants door.

“We can’t just-”

“Oh I do what I want.” Mary said. Her privilege showed sometimes and it endlessly amused Anna.

Once they were successfully downstairs Anna finally felt like she was able to breathe in the familiarity of the servants hall.

Ms.Hughes was walking out of the kitchen and her eyes widened at seeing them both. “Well. I expected to see you both down here sooner. Congratulations on making it as long as you did.” She smiled and walked past them.

Mary, who was burning up, took Anna’s hand and led them into the courtyard.

It was quiet. “Oh god this feels nice.”

Anna sat down next to her, taking care of her gown that was more than likely, incredibly expensive. “You’re going to give us away if you keep acting like that.”

This brought Mary out of her daze, cooling off from the overheated room they had been trapped in. “Should I bring you back upstairs to dance with…oh what was his name again?”

Despite Mary’s jealousy shining brightly, Anna couldn’t help but find it funny. “Did you even pay attention to anyone else this entire evening?”

Mary rolled her eyes, leaning back as steam was practically coming off of her skin. “All I wanted to do was dance with you.” Her eyes were closed and her voice was soft. “You look so beautiful. I don’t blame so many of them for wanting to dance with you…but you are mine.”

Anna grinned. “So you were jealous were you?”

Mary looked over at her. “I don’t think there is a word that describes how I felt.” Her voice dark.

Anna put one hand over Mary’s face. “I hated being touched by them.”

Mary turned to face her better and placed both of her hands over Anna’s face suddenly looking upset. “ I once again failed you…I promised I would be the only one to touch you-”

“Mary, this was different…this was out of our control…and in order to be together we had to act accordingly.”

Mary still wasn’t accepting this. “I still failed you.”

“Mary-”

The door opened and Thomas joined them. “Oh now I know where you escaped to. I only have a few minutes. It’s wrapping up, upstairs…I’m sure you'll be missed Lady Mary.” He gestured to Mary who couldn’t hide her disdain.

“I don’t fucking care.”

Thomas was smoking a cigarette quickly. “Well…I’ll just go up and tell the…oh several men…asking about Anna that-”

Mary looked up at him. “Are you serious?”

Thomas nodded. “Unfortunately yes.”

Mary huffed out an angry sound. “I don’t blame them…you do look the part… next time I’ll dress you in something hideous.”

Anna was not used to being so desired by anyone aside from Mary. “I am shocked you are not more proud that so many have made passes at me this evening. I thought for sure seeing them do so would make you feel-”

Mary looked grim. “If I have to see one more man hold your hand I’ll throw a fit…we should try and sneak back up to our-”

“Oh no. You have to say your farewells to your guests. Your absence has been noted.” He smirked knowing it would elicit Mary to turn into a villain. Which it did. “I can’t stay…so…good luck.” He turned and left.

“I am sorry for being upset that you were jealous of Matthew and I, as I now have to watch several men pine for your attention.” She stood up with Anna who was giggling at Mary’s increasingly frustrated face.

“My love, you have nothing to worry about.” Anna was trying to humor Mary’s feelings, but was having a hard time as she always found Mary’s evil side so humorous for some reason.

They walked up the servants' steps back into the hall.

Her parents were saying their farewells to their guests when the man who had sat next to Anna at dinner found her looking delighted at her presence.

“Lady Mary…and Anna…I hope to find you again someday…where are you residing in London?” He asked politely, reaching forward and placing one of her small hands in his. “I’d very much like to see you again.”

Mary was practically beside herself, but had to contain her jealousy. “Anna moves around a lot.” She answered for her.

“Oh well…will you be back at Downton anytime soon?” He asked again politely.

“Not for some time, but yes I will be back. I did enjoy dancing with you.” She added for good measure to make up for her girlfriend's harsh tongue.

Mary stepped back with a slight tug from Sibyl who was quickly assessing the situation.

“Well..” He looked at Mary and Sibyl confused. “I hope to meet you again…Anna…and if no one has told you this evening…you are beautiful.” He kissed her hand and left.

Anna, who was detesting the affection, couldn’t help but be flattered by it at the same time.

“Mary you didn’t think Anna would not be left alone this evening did you?” Sibyl whispered to her and guided her into the library where the main family was slowly filtering in as the guests had mostly left. “If you did think that you're absolutely ridiculous. Anna is-”

“Gorgeous? Beautiful? I am very aware. God damnit.” Despite the urge to go back and grab her girlfriend, she went with Sibyl and sat down next to her in the library next to her mother who was looking at her in much the same way.

“Mary.” She said, trying to gain her attention.

“Mother.” Mary replied looking behind her hoping Anna would enter soon.

Cora glanced at her girls.

“Mary, I believe Anna was splendid this evening.” Robert said. “You should be proud…many suitors wanted to speak with her. I was asked about her several-”

“Of course she was, she's absolutely stunning. Why wouldn’t anyone want to be with her? However, she is mine and I do not like the idea of her-”

Anna entered the library. “I’m so relieved that it is just us.” She sighed and sat down next to Mary who looped her arm under Anna’s tightly. “Oh. Well then…Mary I should tell you… I told this Drew that I would marry him! Isn’t that exciting.” She said teasingly which elicited laughter from the family. “Oh, I’m sorry darling, I forgot to tell you…We plan on-”

Mary slapped her shoulder gently. “Do not tease me so. I hated every minute watching him even look in your direction. So many men wanted to court you!”

“You cannot blame them darling.” Cora said, accepting a glass of brandy from her husband.

Mary only grasped tighter to her arm. “I know how beautiful she is, however, I do not know if I can withstand that-”

“Mary.” Anna reigned her in.

Mary rolled her eyes. “It doesn’t make seeing you dance with others more tolerable.”

Edith was laughing to herself.

“And what is so funny?” Mary said in her most unkind voice.

Edith shook her head. “I’ve never seen you so jealous.”

This made the rest of the family stifle their laughter, including Anna.

“Oh, were you jealous, My Lady?’ Anna said.

Mary looked at all of them, clearly still upset, but her anger decreased. “Well then. I feel like my feelings should be somewhat validated. How would you feel?”

Sibyl spoke up, “If Tom was dancing with some other woman I’d be in tears.”

“If I saw your father smiling and dancing with some other woman I'd be upset as well.” Cora said.

Anna looked at them all, her familiarity with them becoming more normal, “I was not smiling!?”

“You were! You were absolutely smiling.” Edith said.

Mary looked at Anna. “See. You enjoyed it. You wanted to dance with them.” She was so upset it made Anna even more enamored with her.

“Oh Mary.” She started to laugh along with the rest of the girls and eventually Robert, who had never seen his daughter in this state.

“This was exhausting. Please tell me there are not more of these dinners to be had in the near future.” Anna said, leaning back into the sofa.

“Actually, there is another one similar to this coming up…you do not have to attend if you wish not to, however.” Robert answered her.

“No no…I will…If I am asked to attend I’ll do so…and it wasn’t all bad…it was quite an ego boost to be honest. Having so many men want to dance with me.” Anna shrugged.

Mary spoke up, “Oh how many of them wanted you?” She asked.

Anna pretended to count on her fingers, but could see that Mary was truly upset. “Oh my darling, not many.”

“One man asked me personally about you.” Sibyl said, sipping her drink.

“From where I was sitting, I noticed several of our guests were waiting to dance with Anna.” Edith said enjoying that all of them were pushing Mary’s patience.

“Anna if you’d like, you could have the hands of at least four men who asked me.” Cora chimed in teasing her eldest who had her brows furrowed in frustration.

They weren’t lying, however, they were intentionally trying to fluster Mary, who was already angry.

“What?!” Mary held Anna’s arm tightly.

“Oh my darling I’m not sure what you expected as Anna is…well…. and was…playing the part of a highborn…not to-”

“No offence taken, Cora.” Anna said, who was thoroughly enjoying seeing Mary so utterly jealous.

The six of them were in their own world, teasing Mary, talking about the evening, becoming slightly tipsy from the strong alcohol. Anna was enjoying it to an extent she was almost emotional.

“Anna, tell me what you genuinely thought of the evening.” Cora asked moving Mary away from her to sit close. “I hope we all helped in any way we could.” She reached an arm around holding her.

“Edith and Sibyl helped me greatly when we were dining. Drew was asking me questions I had no ability to answer so I thank you.”

“We are well practiced in the art of deception.” Edith said.

“Overall…it wasn’t so bad. I’m sure I’ll get better…that is if I am welcomed back-”

“Of course you are. The only person who might not be welcomed back is Mary.” Robert said, still teasing her. “You must contain yourself next time, Mary.” He drained his glass. “Well I think I’ll sneak off for bed before I am not able to climb the stairs. Goodnight my loves.” He said looking at them all, including Anna.

Anna felt a surge of warmth in her chest at this simple act and grinned into her lap.

The girls bid their farewells too, following their father, but before Cora left she knelt down and kissed Anna’s head and Mary’s. “Goodnight lovebirds.”

Mary and Anna were left alone next to the dwindling crackling fire.

“Well then.” Mary stood up. “I am exhausted.” She started to leave when she noticed Anna was not following her. “What is it my darling?”

Anna had a devious look on her face and stood up walking quickly past Mary. “I have an idea.”

The foyer was empty as all the guests had left and the servants were more than likely having a well deserved rest in the servants hall.

“What is this idea of yours then?” Mary almost sounded annoyed, maybe a combination of watching Anna with others who were not her, and being teased endlessly by her family.

Anna went towards the gramophone. “You did want to dance with me, did you not?” The music she had chosen was echoing throughout the hall. “So.” She approached Mary whose expression instantly changed. Her smile that had been hidden behind a mask all evening finally came out. “My love. Mary…would you dance with me?” Anna asked.

Mary instantly stepped forward placing her hands in Anna’s. “Nothing would make me happier.”

They danced in the dim lighting of the room, not looking away from each other's eyes as if the world outside of their arms didn’t exist, and only them and the music were guiding them.

“I love you.” Mary said, placing her head against Anna’s and kissed the side of her face smelling her hair as she did any chance she had. “My father was right, this is much better with music.”

Anna giggled. “Dancing with music? What a concept.” She kissed Mary quickly. “Do you remember us dancing in our nightgowns down here in the dark?”

“We had our fight.”

Anna looked at her sternly. “Fight…Mary it wasn’t a fight it was more of a break up.”

“No, it was a fight…we never broke up!” Mary spinned Anna away from her and reeled her back in. “I was simply just-”

“Having to marry a man, and I told you that I would stay out of the way so you could do so.”

Mary stopped their movements and pressed her hand on Anna’s lower back into her. “Which at the time…was something I felt I had to do…and now that I look back on it…I was never going to do…I was already deeply in love with you.” Mary kissed her. “That was a dreadful day wasn't it.” She resumed their dancing.

Anna looked off to the side smiling. “Now look at us. Dancing with music. We have come so far.”

The song ended, and they simply looked at each other entranced by the overwhelming feeling of being so in love.

“Will you bring me to our room?” Anna whispered.

Mary’s eyes, who were never able to keep her feelings from showing, were desperate. “Yes, Anna.”

They traipsed up the stairs and down the hall as quietly as they could and once they were in Mary’s room Anna turned around to her. “You know-”

Mary’s mouth was on hers pressing Anna up against the door…her favorite place for her…”I know what.” She breathed out, not giving Anna a chance to finish her sentence.

“I was going to say-” Mary started moving her hands along her body desperately. “I was going to say that you know I’ll have…oh god…” Mary’s mouth had landed on her shoulder which was a spot Anna seemed to enjoy. “Mary…I was going to…you know I’ll do evenings like this again as long as it means I can be with you….” She was losing herself in what Mary was doing to her skin.

“I’ll attend evenings like this as long as I can see you…not be held by anybody aside from myself…do you know how badly I wanted to claim you all night.” Mary turned Anna around and started to kiss the back of her neck while slowly undressing Anna. “You are mine…” She unclasped the back of Anna’s dress letting it fall around her shoulders and onto the floor. “My love…If I have to watch someone else try and steal you from me again I’ll have to commit a crime.”

This made Anna laugh who began to undress Mary as well. “Is that so?”

Eventually both of them were free of their clothing and Mary stepped Anna back towards her bed. “Yes…I thought I might…murder the man who kept asking you to dance this evening.” She covered them both under the blankets barely leaving any space between them. “I am sorry if my possessiveness is too much…I cannot help it…this seems like your fault however.”

Anna pulled back. “My fault! Whatever did I do? I attended this function at your request…I never even expected anyone to find me attractive or even want to find my company appealing.”

Mary was very confused. “I am sorry…you didn’t expect anyone to find you attractive?”

Anna also looked confused. “That is what I said isn't it?”

“You are a fool then. Anna…you were by far…one of the most beautiful women in the room tonight. Clearly. As so many fucking men wanted to try and steal you away from me.” Mary instinctively held onto her tightly. “Don’t leave me…please.”

Anna was suddenly remembering the reassurance she promised to tell Mary often.

“My love…I would have much rather spent the evening in your arms. I hope you know that.”

This temporarily satisfied Mary, who was still insecure about the slightest possibility of Anna being stolen away from her. “Well…I’d have loved that as well.”

“And I cannot be stolen away from you by some rich man? What would I even say? That I am in fact- just a housemaid- for Downton and I had practically fabricated some backstory of being someone else?” She leaned up over Mary. “You are ridiculous.”

“I am not. I am just apparently a very jealous person.” She started to trail kisses along her neck. “A jealous girlfriend who doesn't want anyone else to have their paws on you.”

Anna heaved her body into Mary’s. “So you only want me to be yours is that it?” Her eyes shut.

“Forever my darling…as long as I am alive…you will be mine.” She pressed Anna flat on her back and reached down between her legs. “Remember when I said I wanted to make you come undone…after we kissed for the first time.”

Anna was having difficulty focusing on her words. “Yes..” She sighed at the touch of Mary’s hands on her. “What of it?” She placed her arms around Mary.

“I think of pleasing you so often…seeing you like this rarely leaves my mind…and I will always make you come undone…” Mary moved her fingers slowly trying to draw out her favorite sounds. “I love you.” She placed her mouth over one of Anna’s breasts, moving her tongue slowly around, waiting to hear her favorite erotic sound Anna would make when she was almost finished. “I could watch you like this forever my darling…”

Anna was whining and thrusting her hips up, and placed her hands around Mary’s face kissing her delicately. “Do not ever stop wanting me.”

Mary pressed her palm against Anna, who finally emitted her favorite sound.

“I…Oh god Mary…”

Mary, who had not stopped watching every single movement and expression Anna had shown, kept slowly touching her. “I will never not want you.” She said quietly into Anna’s mouth. “I’ll never want anything…more than I will ever want you…”

Anna was lost in her ecstasy trying to quiet her moans of pleasure, squirming under the soft touch that was melting her. She opened her eyes and saw how Mary was watching her which immediately took her to the edge of finishing. They kept their eyes on one another when Anna opened her mouth silently and let go, with a quiet sigh, clenching her fingers on the back of Mary’s hair.

Mary pulled her into her arms kissing her hair, inhaling its scent, gently tracing her hands up and down Anna’s arm.

“Mary…” She said melting in her arms.

“Hmm…I suppose I’m well practiced at this point…it’s all I thought of this evening.”

They laid together for some time until Anna started to reciprocate the same act. “May I watch you come undone as well.” Her hands already cupping her gently.

Mary was doing much the same as Anna had and only closed her eyes leaning back into her touch.

Leaning over her, Anna moved her fingers slowly across her, memorizing how Mary looked when she was so vulnerable in such a state.

“You keep saying how much you disliked me dancing with men.”

This opened Mary’s eyes.

“I disliked you being so far from me all evening.” She pressed her palm tightly, slowing her motions. “I saw you looking at me…all through dinner.” Her hand moved even slower which was making Mary’s eyes darken. “I hope nobody else noticed that you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me…”

Mary whined. “I hope they did…as I never want…” She was lost for words when Anna sped up her hand movements only to slow them again causing Mary to whimper. “I never want anyone else to devour you with their eyes…aside from me.” She was unraveling quickly. “Darling do not test me further than you have this evening-”

Anna hovered her lips over Mary’s. “Yes, Mary.” and moved her hand at a pace that was drawing the groans she loved. “Look at me.”

Mary opened her eyes fully.

As Mary was close to finishing her mouth opened and her head leaned back with a growl, and as Anna’s hand was soon so slick, she steadied her hand and moved it up Mary’s body who was squirming.

“Anna.” She pressed them together. “My darling.” She whispered.

She held her tenderly before deciding to play with her even more.

“If only I hadn't already promised this man I met this evening I’d marry him…” Anna said which quickly woke Mary up from her post coital bliss.

“I beg your fucking pardon.” she tightened her grip on Anna’s hips. “Do not tease me right now Anna Mae Crawley.”

Hearing her new last name from Mary never failed to make her heart skip. “Oh I forgot…I’m already promised to another.”

Mary’s annoyed face never failed to make Anna laugh. “Darling I love your frustrated eyes.” She giggled more, caressing her hand up and down Mary’s side and pinched her waist.

“Hey now!” Mary squealed. “You are devious!”

“I’m learning from my girlfriend about what being devious means.” They were laying facing one another. Mary’s brown eyes meeting Anna’s sky blue eyes.

“I hope you don’t learn any other traits from this monster…from what I hear she’s quite ornery.” Mary said, barely containing her glee.

“Well then.. I’ll try and call it off soon…I don’t want to be corrupted.”

Mary snuggled into her arms. “I’ll show you corrupted…don’t test me.”

“Yes, Mary.” Anna kissed the top of her head and tightly held onto her.

They slowly started to fall asleep.

“Waking up with you…is my heaven.” Mary so quietly Anna barely heard her.

“As you are mine.”

Chapter Text

The week followed smoothly as it was just the immediate family, or Anna’s family, as she felt she could say. Even Violet was speaking to Anna more than she had in the past, aside from saying how beautiful she was. She continued to spend more time with Edith, which she particularly enjoyed, and one afternoon when they were both comparing their favorite poems from the book Robet had gifted her, she really opened up her heart to her.

They were on the bench that was next to the small garden, braving the cold fog that encompassed the expansive lawn, discussing the words they were devouring, when Edith paused.

Anna looked up at her, noticing her sudden silence. “What is it?”

Edith shook her head. “You feel more like my sister than any of my real ones, truth be told.” She turned her head away from Anna with embarrassment.

Anna’s heart almost burst at this however she contained it. “My own sister has never enjoyed my company. What I have with your family is something I did not foresee. I’ve never had parents who cared for me, or anyone who even wanted to indulge in my interests. I do know how you feel.” Anna was drawing Edith back. “To be honest…you are my favorite of Mary’s siblings…that’s not saying I do not love Sibyl deeply…but I have much more in common with you.”

This made Edith almost tear up as she fiddled with the book in her lap. “Well then.” She brushed some impending tears out of her eyes. “Thank you for that.”

Anna grasped her hand gently. “Edith I am so glad that you enjoy my company as well.”

Edith, trained to never show emotion, trained to hold her head high, straightened up. “I do think my mother would like us to show her our favorites…she asked me about it the other morning.” She lifted the book up slightly from her lap.

“I’d love to and so we shall. However, it is getting late.” Anna stood up nudging her towards the house. “Speaking of poetry and love…is there anyone for you? I promise to not tell your sisters..especially Mary.”

Edith looked frustrated. “I don’t think I’m quite ready to share them yet…”

“Oh! Well…can I have some sort of hint?’ She knelt her shoulder into hers.

“I suppose.” Edith smiled at Anna, trusting her confidence. “She’s someone I met at a restaurant in London when I was there with my Aunt.” Edith couldn't contain the smile that crept across her face. Much in the same way that when herself or Tom was mentioned.

“My! What’s her name?” Anna asked, slowing their pace slightly as they were approaching the house.

“Dorothy.” Edith lowered her voice speaking about her. “Which she despises, despite me finding it adorable. I do not think my father will stand for all of his daughters falling for suitors who are not either men ... .or at least highbon men in Sibyl’s case.”

Edith exhaled loudly. “Well…I hope you do keep your promise not to tell Mary. She is horrible to me and I’d rather not want this-”

“I won’t. I promise.” Anna clasped their hands together before they entered the Abbey.

*****

Anna walked up to Mary’s room- their room- and when she opened the door she found Mary laying down. She smiled at the sight of her being undisturbed, and closed the door as quietly as possible, and walked over to sit on the edge of the bed to admire her. Mary’s long eyelashes. Her hair that had fallen out of the clips she had so tediously styled earlier. The soft breathing of her slumber. Her long fingers reaching over to Anna’s side of the bed almost as if she were hoping Anna were there with her.

Taking off her shoes she crawled next to Mary on top of her comforter. Mary felt the shift in the mattress and inched closer towards Anna latching onto her body nuzzling into her neck, and fell back into her afternoon snooze. Anna held her, rubbing her arm softly while laying quiet kisses into her hair, and started to succumb to the same exhaustion. The golden light hitting Mary’s hair causing it to glow in a way Anna felt was practically magical, she fell asleep.

****

Mary woke up a few hours later, confused, as one does when they take a mid day nap, and saw that she was nestled into Anna’s arms, who was still sleeping soundly. The site made her heart leap. She didn’t move immediately and instead held Anna close and kissed the arm that was draped over her. The pure bliss of waking up to this was indescribably intimate in a way that was different from the obvious ways they had together. Anna had clearly found her slumbering and crawled close to her and fell asleep as well. The light from the windows was telling her however that it was close to them having to go down for dinner. Something she wished she could forego sometimes. She’d rather stay here, wrapped up in Anna’s arms, and fall back asleep, but she knew they’d both be hungry eventually, and also would not be able to sleep during the night if they kept on sleeping.

“My darling.” She whispered. “My love…” She kissed her forehead. “I think we should wake up as it is evening.”

Anna stirred grumbling. “Ugh…what time is it?”

Mary looked at the clock on her mantel. “It’s after five my darling.” She continued kissing her face trying to wake her up.

Anna eventually opened her eyes unwillingly. “I see… this must be how you feel when I wake you up in the mornings…” She sat up slightly groggy. “I shouldn’t have fallen asleep next to you…it was just so tempting…” She yawned and shook off her sleep. “You do love the evenings and nights.”

Mary, who never wanted space between them, crawled into her lap. “I do love nights. Can I help wake you up? Why don’t you undress me…don’t you love me bare?” She knelt her head to the side.

Mary hopped off her lap. “Now. Tom is dining with us again. Last time he was here I was serving so I didn’t have a proper interaction with him…I am looking forward to speaking with him more…hopefully Edith finds some wealthy man to marry or else my father will feel like a complete failure.” She added walking towards the wardrobe. “Another dress I had delivered.” She presented it to Anna who was hanging her legs off the bed with her tired eyes trying to wake up.

“My you look simply enthralled with the idea…your feet don’t even meet the ground like this” She was teasing her. “Is there anything I can do to help you?” Mary knelt down in front of her and started kissing her legs moving her dress up.

“No! None of that!’ Anna stood up. “We’ll never make it out of your bed if we start that and I don’t want to be late for dinner with the excuse of we were making love. What was that comment about me not being tall?”

Anna started taking her dress off groaning slightly. “I can’t believe I am still sore in some places. It catches me off guard at times.” She said off handedly.

Mary was reminded of her and Barrow’s plan to visit this monster, which they had not had an opportunity to do so in some time, and resolved to find him sometime this evening to concoct their plan.

“Darling, let me help.” Mary stepped forward and helped Anna dress, in another new one she had made for her. “This is pretty, is it not?” She was mostly trying to distract herself from the evil thoughts milling through her mind. “I do like you in blue.” She winked and fastened the gown on Anna who was grinning.

“How ever did you gather my measurements prior to us being a couple? You had that one dress made for me three years ago.” Anna adjusted herself in front of the mirror.

Mary considered this. “I have a rather good eye for that sort of thing…and as I am…and was…constantly watching you…I just assumed what they were, and when you wore that very dress I gave you then I just knew from there on out.” She sat Anna down. “Now let me do your hair.”

“Have you a new style for me this evening?”

“If you must know…yes…now stay still.” Mary said, annoyed.

Mary pulled Anna’s hair up into the same knot she had dont many times, but this time braided small tendrils pinned to the bottom, leaving small curls around her face.

“Ah! I think I did it on the first try this time!” Mary was saying with such glee.

“You’re getting quite good at that…now sit…what would you like?” Having dressed Mary much quicker than she had done for her.

“Whichever…I do not care.”

Anna laughed. “Well then. May I try a style on you?”

“Really? Of course!” Mary was giddy sitting in her vanity chair.

Anna grabbed all of her long locks up into a bun that sat low on the back of her neck. “This is easy, but still elegant I think.” She stuck several pins to hold it in place, missing several strands of hair. “Oh damn. I thought I could-”

“Leave it. I adore it.” Mary placed a dab of her perfume on her wrist and stood up and reached for Anna’s rubbing it on her as well. “You can smell like me tonight as well.” She kissed her.

“You know it’s still absurd to me that these…dinners are so important to your family…what would they do if you did not attend?”

Mary and her walked down the hallway for the staircase.

“I’m not sure…this is just how it has always been…but the Crawley family seems to be more progressive these days…maybe we should have tested the morals and stayed in bed.” She kissed her cheek, holding her hand as they reached the library.

They were always the last ones to arrive.

“Anna, you must make sure my daughter is better at being punctual.” Robert said.

They sat down, Anna leaving Mary’s side, who always detested it with her microexpressions, was next to Edith, who she felt more comfortable with now that she knew she also was infatuated with a woman.

“I don’t think I could make Mary more accustomed to the importance of being on time more than I could make an elephant appear.” Anna said politely as Violet entered the dining room as well.

“Well I simply…do what I want…” Mary said.

“Clearly.” Anna replied.

Tom entered the library awkwardly as ever. “Good evening.” He approached them as Sibyl stood up and latched to his arm much in the same way Mary always did with Anna.

Robert once again, always uncomfortable with him being present, started almost pacing, but reeled in his discomfort. “Good evening, Tom.”

This elicited smiles from all of them.

Violet, who was the essence of grandeur, looked at Tom. “Join us, Branson. We are just a ripple of misfits at this point anyway.” She laughed looking at her son who was somehow always shocked at her views.

“I’m glad you could join us.” Anna said.

Tom awkwardly sat down next to Sibyl, who was so enamored with him it made Mary scoff. “Really Papa, if you accept me and Anna you can accept Tom and Sibyl. Honestly, we should be the more shocking couple in the house.”

Mary being upset over her scandal being outweighed by Sibyls was endlessly amusing to Anna, as she mentioned it every moment she could. Who would have thought it would be more of a blessing for them, but maybe Robert had grown to…love her more over the months since they came out.

Before Robert could speak Violet did, “So tell us Tom. What is it you and Lady Sibyl plan on?”

They both looked at one another, half enamored, half terrified of the question.

“ Well…we aren’t sure as of yet but-”

“You’ll stay at Downton.” Robert said, cutting her off. “There will be no…running off in the night.”

Tom, who was turning his glass in his hands nervously decided to add to this. “I’d never do that to Sibyl…or any of you.”

“So reassuring….thank you for not stealing my sister I suppose.” Mary replied in a drawl that reminded Anna that one of her jobs was actually keeping Mary contained.

“If you did, and If Lady Sibyl wanted to, you’re both free to do what you want with your lives. Mary and I are testimony to that.” Anna glared at Mary who simply shrugged.

They filtered into the dining room and Mary sat next to Anna as close as possibly holding her hand under the table.

“Mary, why must you be so horrible sometimes? Your sister loves Tom…and if you have forgotten, was very supportive of us.” Anna was good at clocking her attitude.

Mary looked embarrassed almost. “You’re right my love…I’m sorry…” Mary then looked upset with herself.

“Mary-” Anna whispered when the dinner was being brought around the table and the wine and the conversations…it was all drowned out by how Mary was looking down at her plate, moving the contents around listlessly. Anna realized…seeing it…that Mary truly meant what she said about her being her happiness…and keeping her from becoming something she did not want to be. “Mary.” She said again, placing a hand gently on her knee.

Mary looked up at her quickly and then back at her plate, sitting up straight, full mask on, smiling from the training in being a good hostess she had learned from.

“Tom. What are some of your interests?” She asked, smiling.

Anna knew this wasn’t one of her genuine smiles, but rather one that she had to force.

Tom was polite. “Well…politics…which isn’t something I think should be brought up-”

“No, tell us, Tom.” Robert said rather more sternly than he intended.

The table was silent.

Tom, never one to be silent over his views, continued. “Particularly about the freedom of Ireland from the English-”

Robert sat his silverware down abruptly. “Against us? Are we your enemy?”

Tom considered this. “No. You are not. The monarchy is. Which has oppressed Ireland for hundreds of years.”

The silence was profound. Sibyl was looking towards her sisters and Anna for any help they could provide.

“And you’re entitled to have your opinions, Tom. I’d love to hear more about your views.” Anna said.

Robert looked at her in much the same way Mary would when she was perturbed.

“So what is it you plan on…instilling into my daughters mind. That the monarchy is…evil…you do realise Sibyl was brought up under the-”

“Yes, My Lord I do. However, that does not change my feelings for her. I hope that we can come to some sort of agreement. My views will not be silent though. I must stand up for my people as I always have.” Tom said strongly, which Anna thought was very brave.

She looked over at Mary who had once again fallen into whatever was occupying her mind.

“And we wouldn’t want to make you into someone else, Tom.” Cora said, nudging her husband who was looking grim as ever.

“But you do not approve of our way of life nor of Sibyls.” He took a bite of his dinner.

Tom thought about his answer for about five seconds. “No. I do not approve. The difference in class is the problem…but like I have said…I fell in love with your daughter and not the political differences.” Tom finally started eating just for something to do with his hands.

Anna knew that Mary was looking forward to having her sister's Irish chauffeur to talk to at dinner, but was distracted by whatever was churning in her head. . Mary was having a hard time focusing and keeping her mask on. Her eyes gave her away with every emotion she had. She was looking anywhere but at Anna, who could always tell from just one glance at her.

“Mary?’ Anna said, trying to bring her back.

Mary looked back at Tom. “Tom. Tell us about something else…when did you and Sibyl fall for one another?” She sipped her wine and sat the glass delicately back on the table. Anna noted her hands which were shaking slightly.

Tom, most uncomfortable, shuffled in his seat. “Well. I suppose from the first time I saw her.”

It was almost word for word to Anna’s answer when they asked when she had fallen for Mary.

This made Cora smile. “What was it in particular? And do not say how pretty she is, we all know that.”

Tom grinned at the answer and looked over at Sibyl who was so enamoured she looked as if she’d melt into a puddle. Much in the same way Anna would when Mary and her were together.

“She’s funny.” Tom said simply.

Edith, Mary, Anna, and Cora chuckled at this.

Another similar answer to what drew Mary to Anna.

“Is there anything in particular she said that hooked you, Tom?” Anna asked, trying to keep the conversation on his side and away from his politics.

Tom thought about this for a bit before finding the right words. “I was driving her into Ripon. We were discussing women getting the vote, and before we reached it, Sibyl said, ‘I suppose you’d rather toss me out of this moving vehicle.’ and I found it…very funny. Especially as she wasn’t even looking at me, she was looking out the window adjusting her hat.” He laughed to himself. “She found my humor in her words…annoying…and when we stopped so she could leave…and before I could open her door she did it herself and slapped my hand away from the door.” Tom was smiling recalling the memory. “I suppose that might have been the moment. Thank you for asking, Anna.” Tom finished.

The table was listening raptly as were the servants, including Thomas who was smirking.

Nobody said anything, and to once again save Tom from the humiliation he assumed he’d have, Anna spoke up, “That sounds much like my experience with Mary.”

This caused the table to resume their meal and Anna smiled at him and he was thankful for the help.

They all finished their dinner with much more normal talk. No more interrogation towards Tom who was looking so uncomfortable he was sweating.

“You’re doing just fine, Tom. Just remember…If you have Cora on your side then you practically have Robert on your side.” Anna reassured him.

“I’m not sure that’s true…he seems to dislike me even more than you and Mary…Let’s hope that Lady Edith has a more suitable match…” He whispered as they all started to stand up and filter into the library for their customary after dinner drinks.

“My goodness Tom, you and Sibyl have a mountain to climb.” Anna hooked her arm under his and guided him towards the library. “You are, however, doing well…at least you have not slapped him.”

Tom stopped them. “You slapped, Lord Grantham?!”

Anna laughed. “I did.” She winked. “However, I don’t suggest you do the same now.” She and him sat down in the library next to herself, and Sibyl across from them and Edith and Cora next to them with Mary perched on the edge not looking at any of them.

Robert was clearly struggling with words.

“Tom. Does your family all reside in Dublin?” Edith asked, trying to help.

Tom accepted the drink offered to him from one of his coworkers. “Yes. Just a brother.”

This elicited simple and polite conversation about his family and Anna looked over at Mary who was twirling the alcohol in the glass that was in her hand around listlessly. Anna was trying her best to pick up her gaze, which was locked onto the carpet. Nobody else in the room noticed aside from her, and Anna wanted nothing more than to take Mary back upstairs and ask what had her so downtrodden, but felt she was too helpful with Tom and Sibyl.

Cora asked more polite questions of Tom, and Sibyl sometimes answered, and sometimes Tom did, somewhat starting to feel slightly more comfortable.

“Mary, are you going to continue your aid in Anna’s chores?” Sibyl asked her, suddenly noticing her mood.

Mary was brought out of her thoughts and she placed her mask on easily. “I’d like to…I’ve learned quite a bit, but perhaps for now I’ve learned as much as I can. I might resume my…more normal duties.” She smiled and sipped her drink. This confused Anna who very much wanted to ask her what she meant. Not that she expected Mary to pretend to be a servant forever, but that she hadn’t spoken to her about it prior to announcing it to the family.

“Oh is that so? You are an expert in all aspects?” Anna tried to tease her. The family chuckled, however Mary did not and simply smiled, a forced one.

“I don't think I shall ever be as good as Anna or any of our staff, but I don’t think my presence is useful anymore.” She sipped her drink.

The girls noted how she was acting, but Robert did not.

“Well…I should be off…Thank you for this evening…and…I’m sure we’ll get to know you better, Branson.” Robert walked off awkwardly out of the room.

Sibyl stood up and pulled Tom with her. “May we walk for a moment?”

Tom immediately followed her. “Thank you Lady Grantham…Lady Edith…Lady Mary…Anna…” He added not knowing what to call Anna. “Thank you for inviting me this evening.”

Cora smiled. “We look forward to you dining with us again, Tom.”

He knelt his head and followed Sibyl out of the library.

Cora sighed. “Well then…I suppose that is progress…Mary I thought you’d have helped poor Tom more…he’s doing so well.” She looked at her eldest with curiosity, finally seeing that she was off somewhere else.

Mary pulled herself out of it. “I apologize…I’m simply just tired…We should invite Tom to our next function…I think Papa seeing them together in a public setting would help him see how much they are in love.” Mary stood up, not reaching for Anna. “I am sorry, but I have a headache…I think I’ll turn in…” She walked away leaving Anna, Edith and Cora alone.

When she was gone from the room Cora and Edith looked at Anna for some sort of explanation. Anna shook her head gathering what was bothering her girlfriend.

“Mary can be harsh when she doesn’t mean to be and when she does…she regrets it and it takes some time for her to recover.” Anna said simply looking at them both.

“Well…we all know that…you should go to her…” Cora said standing up when Anna did. “I didn’t see her do anything of the sort this evening, but then again, I don’t watch her as you do.”

This caught Anna off guard. “Oh?”

Edith spoke. “You both are so ridiculous….goodnight.” She walked out of the room leaving Anna and Cora.

“I suppose I should follow…”

“Anna.” Cora said, stopping her.

“Yes?”

Cora was thinking carefully about her words. “Mary might be my most…complex child. She’s never done anything…oh never done anything I thought she would. That’s why I love her so much. You bring out the best in her.” Cora placed her hands along Anna’s arms. “Don’t let her lose that.” She kissed Anna’s cheek and left.

Anna was standing in the library alone for once, taking in her surroundings, deciding if she should go and find Thomas or go immediately up to Mary.

She went up the stairs to their bedroom without a second thought.

Opening the door she found Mary simply in the middle of the room looking at the floor.

Anna shut the door and locked it.

“Mary?”

Mary turned around. Her eyes wet with tears. “Anna?”

Anna was in her arms immediately. “Mary…what has you so-”

Mary held onto her so tightly Anna had to adjust her body to be comfortable.

“Mary? Mary Crawley you tell me right now-”

“Even you can’t keep me from being a monster and you know? I’m not ashamed of that side of me. Monster Mary-” Mary started to undress Anna. Who did the same

“Mary what are you?-”

“Shush. Can we just get into our bed first.” She responded.

Once they were laying in bed, Mary was much further away from Anna than she ever had been.

Anna, who was tired of trying to convince Mary she wasn’t a monster, scooted forward so they were closer. “Mary, is this because I scolded you slightly? What is it you are so upset about? I can’t -”

“Yes. It is.” Mary’s eyes were glossy. “It just comes out…I’m not sure why…I hate it to be honest…I hate it because it upsets you…and after I do it…I feel regret and embarrassment for…whatever I fucking said…I do…and did want to support Sibyl and Tom and you are right my sister supported us very much so, that I haven’t properly thanked her…I never thank anyone who helps me? I think that might be a…flaw in myself I’ll have to work on. Oh, I don’t know why I’m so upset…that feeling of not being…good enough for you…something Edith said…you are you and I am me. Do you still love me when I act that way?” Mary asked not placing one of her hands on Anna’s face.

“I love you any way you act. I’m not sure why to be honest as you are so mean sometimes, but Mary why must you be so?” Anna scooted closer, and placed one of Mary’s hands over her body. “It doesn’t matter to me. I’m perplexed by it, as I know such a soft side of you, but the longer we are together I hope to learn why you act as you…I feel as if I might have an idea…but your family loves you. Don’t take that for granted…I never had one.” Anna placed her small hand over Mary’s soft face. “I’ll never leave you.” She made sure to add something to remind her as it was her greatest fear and something she promised to remind Mary of every day.

Mary huffed and turned onto her back still holding Anna’s hand. “I am sorry.” She said.

Anna thought about her words for some time, the darkness covering them as the fire was almost to embers.

“My love. You put too much pressure on yourself. If I am correct…you are no longer trying to impress you family or any suitors…I’d hope that you’d be settled in having me…I won't leave you…you can be my mean and evil Mary as much as you want…It will never make me not want to love-”

Mary was quickly against her. “Even if I can’t contain that side of myself you’ll still want me?”

Anna replied quickly “Yes. I will.” This seemed to calm Mary down as she moved so she was resting her head onto Anna’s chest smelling her hair.

“What if we were able to run away…where would you want to go? Anywhere in the world my darling…where we could be happy together?” Mary said, placing her hand into Anna’s intertwining their fingers together.

Anna knew that Mary expected her to say someplace that was far away but all she could think of was where they were at.

“Here. I’d want us to be here. This is where my friends are…where you are most comfortable…where we are accepted…near you sisters and mother and father….whom seem to enjoy my presence…I love talking to Edith…I adore Sibyl and I love her and Tom..Your mother seems to like me quite a bit…your father seems to care about me which is baffling.” Anna was stroking Mary’s hair, pushing her locks around her ear still seeing how the dim fire was catching their amber colors, and made a note to tell her. “You want us to run away somewhere than fine. I’ll do that. Wherever you want to go I will follow.” Anna kissed her.

It was a kiss that was so soft their lips barely touched. “If you’d like us to take a ship to some foreign land I’d go with you. I’d…oh what is it you said? Watch you from a mirror? Look at you from afar and only touch you from some handshake? That’s what I have to say to that.” Anna tightened her arms around Mary.

Mary was pressing her face deep into Anna’s skin laughing.

“Well. What if I said we should go to India? Or Africa? Would you follow me?” Mary was teasing slowly coming out of her mood.

Anna gave her a reassuring squeeze.. “Oh well then…I suppose, but we might not enjoy the hot sun.” She kissed the top of her head…mimicking what Mary did and inhaled deeply her lavender scent. “Now. Tell me…”

Anna didn’t finish her sentence immediately as she was baiting Mary who finally looked at her confused waiting for the question. “Didn’t I look pretty tonight? What’s the next function we are attending? Shall I wear the same dress?” She pretended to courtesy in the bed which made Mary push her on her back and lean over her which seemed to drag Mary out of her headspell.

“No. You’ll be wearing a tapestry as last time everyone wanted to dance with you.” She kissed her. “Thank you my darling…”

Anna cocked her head to the side. “What are you thanking me for?”

Mary rolled her eyes unamused, “Don’t ridicule me further just hold me and we can be done with this day.”

Anna did just that. Mary nestled into Anna’s arms and they fell asleep.

*****

Anna was dressed for her normal work day, and looked at Mary who was still trying to pry herself from sleep.

“Are you following me around today?”

Mary looked offended. “Follow you around? Like some lost puppy? Certainly not. However…I won’t be working with you today which makes me dreadfully morose as I have enjoyed it so much. No, I have business in the village.” She lied. Trying to look anywhere else but Anna’s eyes.

Anna didn’t look upset by this, only amused. “Oh so you’re done playing the role of a servant?”

She tied her apron around her black outfit. “I see how it is..you’d rather not spend a day with me…that’s fine and all-”

Mary was half dressed and was pressing Anna up against the door. “Do not ever say that to me again.” She warned. “I simply have a prior engagement…I’m meeting Matthew and he’s showing me more of the estate I seem to be so inept with knowing I suppose…I know you think I can do this but I-”

“You can do this and you are very much able to do so.” Anna kissed her. “Now let me finish dressing you.

She dressed Mary in a simple outfit. Perfectly suitable for a day wandering outside. “There. Will this do my love?” Anna kissed her cheek.

Mary felt guilty for lying to Anna…and had promised to never lie to her again. Her resolve failed. “Anna…I’m lying…I am not seeing Matthew.” She said standing up from her seat pacing the room clenching her fists. “I’m going with Barrow…to see the man in prison who assaulted you.” She finally turned to look at her.

Anna’s face was showing a myriad of emotions, none of which were in Mary’s favor.

“I knew that you would…as you had told me…and I am glad you did not lie to me despite you trying to.” She said almost seethingly, which Mary decided she deserved. “What is your plan then?” Anna stopped Mary’s pacing and held her hands. “Please tell me it’s nothing sinister.”

Mary couldn’t lie to her about that either. Her plan would be the most sinister thing she could contrive. She wanted nothing more than to kill this man slowly. This man had not only assaulted her love in the worst way possible, but had made many moments between them uncomfortable, he had haunted Anna, and he was still causing her physical pain.

“I promised to never lie to you again and I keep my promises. Yes. I do plan on something sinister if I am able to. I hate this man who did that to you and he will not live out his life…kept alive without….he won't.” Mary said, stepping back from Anna. “I am sorry.”

Anna shook her head and looked away from Mary.

“I don’t think I want to know yours and Thomas’s plan.” She said, “Just please always come back to me.” Anna was clenching her hands together, another trait she had picked up from Mary. “Just tell me when you’re done with it.”

Mary nodded. Knowing that her anger wouldn’t be cured just by making this man suffer. She’d never be at peace with it.

“I should get to work….” Anna said quietly.

They both stood in a standoff together.

“Well then.” Is all Mary could muster.

Anna looked at her dark eyes Mary had not seen before.

“Will I see you this evening?” Mary asked pleadingly.

Anna scoffed and walked around Mary to the door. “I guess you’ll have to find out.”

She left.

Mary was feeling like she was losing all of her control over her world, but despite that, she was still very much intent on her plan with Barrow. She wanted to see his face and tell him how much he would regret what he had done to her love. Making him aware that he had harmed someone’s lover, who was of a very high status seemed important, and as Barrow had pointed out, money is always a good move when it comes to pretty much anything. Which she had plenty of- and planned on spending as much of it as she had to in order to make this man suffer.

She stood in the empty room for some time thinking this over as Anna had long gone and finally left for the foyer, which she had a car already requested, waiting for her and Thomas, and as she reached the hall Thomas joined her.

“My Lady.” He said in a deep tone.

“Thomas.” She was placing the gloves over her hands.

Tom was in the motor waiting for them, someone they could trust, however he was not privy to whatever they were planning.

“My Lady…Thomas…” Tom said cranking the car into gear and taking them off.

*****

Anna was making hers and Mary’s bed, and then the girls alongside Gwen, and then she was mending some of Mary’s clothes, and polishing her shoes, and was back at the servants table for lunch, and all she could think of was whatever Mary and Thomas were doing. Were they confronting the man who had assaulted her? What did Mary even plan on doing? Did she just want to meet him for the hell of it, or did she have something else up her sleeves? What was the purpose of this in the first place? She knew that they both were planning this, but having them actually act on it was different.

“Anna you’re on your own for once! Is it different not having Lady Mary being trained to be a house maid?” Ms.Hughes asked.

Anna tried her best to crawl out of the scenarios in her head. “It is actually nice. She’s not the easiest to train to be honest.”

This elicited some laughter from some of the others.

“She’s very stubborn and when she cannot learn something on the first try she gets frustrated which makes the chores just tiresome.” Anna added, smiling at Ms. Hughes.

Ms. Hughes chuckled and started to eat her dinner without further questions.

Anna was still thinking where they were and were planning on doing, and if she’d finally be free of it, something they both couldn’t let go, something she wanted to let go, but was partially flattered by their dedication. She had seen Mary’s eyes when the idea was spoken and Mary’s eyes were easy to read. She expected to see her prior to the family's dinner, but knew that might not happen. It wasn’t a big problem. She was used to the family, but making an excuse for Mary’s absence was more of a challenge.

“Will you be dining with the family as well tonight?” Gwen asked.

Anna stirred her lunch around on the plate. “Yes. I will.”

*****

Tom had dropped them off at the station so they could take a train to London. Mary had told him when they would be back so he could retrieve them, but both of them did not explain why. He seemed skeptical, but wanting Mary on his side was important…and he also had some sort of idea as to why Lady Mary Crawly and Thomas, a servant, were leaving for London together.

Thomas and Mary reached the London platform and Mary summoned a car to drive them to the prison, with some hesitance from the driver, which faltered at seeing Mary’s eyes.

“Thank you, we’ll return within the hour.” She said handing him money.

Mary was full of rage and also trepidation. What if this man made her feel so cowardly she was not able to intimidate him. Her entire strategy was to scare him. Thomas was going to find out who his cell mate was. They did have a plan, but they hadn’t strategized an organized plot.

“Are you ready, My Lady.” Thomas said as they approached the prison.

“Yes.”

The guards stopped them of course.

“What is your business here?”

“I am Lady Mary Crawley and I wish to visit Mr. Green.” She said with resolve. Her highborn attitude always helped when gaining respect.

The guard looked shocked. “My Lady…this is not some place for you to-”

“Open the damned gates for me. Now.” She growled.

The guard did just that.

Mary and Thomas walked into the cold and clammy corridor of the jail. Mary felt most uncomfortable as she had never been in such an area of society.

“My Lady…Mary…are you alright?” Thomas asked her, placing a hand on her back gently.

“Yes…when can we ask to see…him?” She was summoning courage, reminding herself of what this man had done to her future wife.

“We have to request him…here…” Thomas approached the booth where the guard was at.

“We are here to see Alex Green.”

The guard looked at them both. Thomas in a simple outfit, and Mary in a clearly expensive one.

“I am not sure it’s suitable for someone as-”

“We are here to see Alex Green. Please show us to him.” She said in her most assertive accent. Which worked.

“Yes My Lady.” The guard said.

Mary and Thomas stood for a few minutes waiting for the guard to come and guide them to the monster Mary was so invested in meeting.

The guard came back to them, opening the locked gate. “Lady Mary…you should take a seat here and leave your man to-”

“I will not do any of that. Lead the way please.” She responded in her most kindest and highborn voice. One that Anna always hated. However, this time it was very much warranted.

The guard stalled for a moment before unlocking the gate. “Alright then…” He said most uncomfortably.

Mary and Thomas were ushered into a room that was confined aside from the door that they entered from and the door on the other side of the bars.

Mary’s anxiety was heavy and she reached for Thomas’s hand who reciprocated the action.

Two guards shoved the man into the room and sat him down in the chair . He was confused as to why he was being summoned and looked at both of them immediately recognizing Thomas.

One guard left, and then one guard that was behind them did not leave.

“I’d like to speak to this man alone please.” Mary said.

“My Lady I cannot permit that as-”

“Oh you cannot? Shall I tell my father this? If you want to stay you can, only if you want to lose your job.” Mary said without any remorse looking away from him back at the man behind the bars.

The guard stammered and looked at Thomas who raised his eyebrows. “Just for a few minutes.” He said to comply with the regulations of the prison that Mary was not privy to.

After they all left it was just the three of them.

Mary's eyes were the most evil Thomas had ever seen them. She didn’t need any armour, her armour was her stare, and her hatred was radiating off of her skin.

Thomas wasn’t in the same state, as he had met the man before, but seeing Mary like this only resolved their plan. He was going to find a way to kill this man.

The man across from them slouched back and looked between them.

“So. Who the fuck are you?” He looked directly at Mary.

Mary. Who was most likely devising some speech in her head looked towards the ground instead.

Thomas cleared his throat and spoke first.

“You’ve met me…remember?”

The man shuffled in his shackles and also cleared his throat. “I do remember you… it was you asking about the blonde?”

This brought Mary out of her stupor and she looked at him with her wild angry eyes.

“And how was this blonde you speak of?” She almost said politely.

Alex Green laughed. “Well she was wonderful. I think I might have made my mark? Tell me she misses me?”

Mary’s anger flared. “How wonderful was she, Mr. Green?” She once again asked politely.

The man behind bars leaned forward on the table that was in front of him and smiled. “She was by far my favorite.”

Mary nodded and looked at Thomas who had a similar murderous look in his eyes.

“Well then…I regret to tell you Mr. Green that you won’t be alive much longer.” She said as casually as talking about the weather.

This caused the man to be confused.

“I do not have a death sentence that you can attend-”

Mary looked him directly in the eyes. “I am not speaking about a death sentence properly. I am just making you aware…that you will not live.” Mary got as close as she could with the bars between them. “Enjoy what time you have left. I will have you killed. What you did to that…blonde…will be your end… I hope you think…about how it might happen…and when it will happen. To that I do not know, but it will. You see…that blonde you speak of is very important to me, and I do not tolerate that sort of behaviour to someone I care for.” Mary was gathering every morsel of power she had. “You don’t really have much in this decision, you see, I have a lot of money and a lot of power, and I will use it…so you will die.” Mary stared at the man for a few more seconds and turned around and left, leaving Thomas there with the man.

Green was looking more frightened than Thomas had seen him last time when he was boasting about having Anna.

“She’s not-”

“Enjoy your last day’s.” Thomas said and followed Mary out of the jail.

*****
Mary and Thomas arrived back at the Abbey just prior to dinner.

“I have to be downstairs and dressed soon as you must be as well Mary.” Thomas said. Who had noticed her murderous face the entire drive back.

Mary was brought out of her mind. “Yes. Thank you Thomas.” She said quickly making her way up the stairs towards Anna. She wasn’t sure what mood she would find Anna in as she was aware of why she was away today.

She opened their bedroom door to find Anna fully dressed in another new gown she had made for her. Black with longer sleeves and the hem sewed with blue beads.

They stood looking at one another for longer than Mary cared for.

“Well…I did meet him…and if you-”

Anna hummed and went to the wardrobe to hand Mary her dress for the evening and gestured for her to stand so she could do so.

Mary was doing what she said.

“Is there-”

“No.” Anna answered.

Anna finished dressing her and styling her hair. Which was done in a heated silence.

“Now I think we should go down then…or would you like to miss dinner with your family we have promised to attend to? Or have you and Thomas planned another outing where you are seeking revenge?”

Mary didn't know what to say. “No…no surprises…”

Anna pushed her gently out of her way so she could reach the door. “Good.” She opened it and left with a glare leaving Mary who was beyond distraught.

Anna was in front of her the entire walk to the library, and Mary was trying to find any words she could say to her that would soothe her anger over what her and Thomas were contriving

“Anna, I love seeing you join us.” Cora said, lending her hand to lead her into the dining room, as they were always late. “I suppose Mary as well.” Cora added for fun.

“Why is Tom not here, Sibyl?” Anna asked.

They all took their seats, and Anna made sure that Mary was not near her, which she noticed and sat disgruntledly next to her father.

Sibyl was looking flustered and charmed. “He feels like he must be invited by my father, or else I’d have asked him…thank you for inquiring, Anna.” Sibyl said.

Robert was still lookin stupidly confused whenever the Irish chauffeur was mentioned. “I didn’t know I had to ask him to join us.”

Sibyl was pursing her lips picking up the glass of wine and took a quick sip to hide her feelings, which Anna, who was so enraged over Mary and Thomas’s day, was not shy about.

“Is there a reason you do not want to ask him to dine with the family, Lord Grantham?” She used his title as an almost dig at their progress they’ve made with her and Mary’s relationship.

Robert looked flustered,“Well if you must know…I truly didn’t…so from here on out my darling please invite your…please invite Tom to dine with us…only if he wants.” Robert said.

Their dinner proceeded. Anna would look across the table at Mary with her dark angry eyes, something she had clearly picked up from Mary. Which made Mary insanely aroused in a perplexed way..

“Mary, what was it you had business with in London today?” Cora asked.

Anna stared pointedly at her dinner not making any eye contact with Mary, leaving this answer up to her.

Mary, putting on her mask to the best of her ability, smiled at her mother. “I had a new dress made for Anna. Barrow also had business in the city so it was only logical he joined me.” She took a bite of her dinner hoping that would be the end of it.

“And what was it Thomas had to do in London?” Anna asked lightly.

Mary was frustrated, trying to find some sort of reason why the footman would accompany her.

“He said he was visiting someone…I didn’t pry.” She recovered.

“Hmm.” Anna said.

This interaction didn’t go unnoticed by everyone. Cora was privy to her daughter's mannerisms and was looking between them both but didn’t press the subject.

They eventually filed into the library for their after dinner drinks. Something Anna also found absurd, and at this moment also found it annoying. She sat next to Cora across from Mary who did note that she wasn’t making any contact with her this evening.

“Well, Anna, we’re hosting another party this Friday. Which, of course, you do not have to attend, but you are invited to nonetheless. It’s much the same as the last, for the investors of the estate to…I guess…see me…” He added awkwardly, but smiling at Anna very genuinely.

Anna reciprocated. “Well. If I am invited, I’d love to attend. I’ll be much better at it this time around.” She laughed, which the rest of them joined in on except Mary who was still apprehensive.

“Mary, will you behave accordingly?” Robert asked, teasing her.

“Absolutely not.” She said downing the rest of her drink, which elicited more laughter from the family. “However, on that note, I am tired from the day, and I think I’ll turn in.” She stood up and left without a glance at Anna.

“Oh my. Trouble in the love nest?” Cora asked Anna.

“Not in the slightest. Mary is just a brat.” Anna as well drained her glass.

Edith, Sibyl, Cora, and Robert laughed outright.

“You aren’t wrong there.” Robert sat down his glass and gestured for Cora to follow him. “I’ll bid you all goodnight my darlings.” Cora in return kissed them all goodnight and when she reached Anna she placed a soft gloved hand over her face and kissed her forehead and smiled- affection that Anna was still trying to be accustomed to.

Anna, Sibyl, and Edith were sitting together in the library in a very comfortable silence when Edith spoke up.

“Why is Mary so upset?”

Anna pursed her lips trying to find a suitable answer as she couldn’t outright say what she had done for the day, and settled on the situation in general.

“Mary…is…she’s upset about this man who…hurt me…I’m not sure how to explain it-”

“You don’t have to.” Edith said, grasping onto her hand. “I understand.”

“Is there something that has suddenly caused her to be so distraught?” Sibyl asked.

Anna was concocting some answer in her mind when she settled on something simple.

“It…it comes up quite a bit for us. Mary feels guilty for some reason…and she…when one of my aches or pains is present she loses herself in grief and anger.” Anna said.

Sibyl and Edith both understood.

“I would feel the same way.” Sibyl stood up gesturing for her sister to follow who did. “Maybe you should go and comfort her.”

“I think you are correct.” Anna stood and followed them up the stairs and they left for the rooms saying silent polite goodnights.

Anna opened their door and found Mary already in her nightgown laying in their bed, not even looking at Anna as she entered.

Anna started undressing herself with ease, and when she was in her nightgown, she pulled the covers up over her side of the bed and turned away from Mary. Something she knew would upset her further.

She was right.

Mary flipped over so she was facing Anna and inched closer and placed a hand on her arm.

“Mary.” Anna said simply. “You left me twice today. Must be a record for us. I’ve never left you. I can count on many occasions you’ve left so tell me.” Anna turned over to her. “Tell me. What did you say?”

Mary was very quickly wrapping her arms around Anna nuzzling her hair and breathing it in like she always did. “I did meet him, yes.” She leaned back so she could see Anna’s face better. “I met him and had words with him, as did Thomas. We both seem to have the same type of darkness within ourselves.” Mary was looking at Anna directly in her eyes. “I promised to never lie to you again so what else would you like to know about my love?”

Anna brought Mary’s hand to her mouth, and then to her chest covering her heart. “What is it you plan?” She whispered.

The images of what he had done to Anna flashing through Mary’s head. His devil smile and his remorseless answers to her questions.

“I am not sure my darling,” She answered, not entirely breaking her promise of not lying to Anna.

Anna leaned into Mary’s embrace. “I missed you.” She said quietly.

Mary heaved out a loud sigh. “Not as much as I missed you my darling.” She held her face gently into her arms, kissing her softly. Being as gentle as she could. “I am sorry…you are so upset with me…I would be doing this regardless however…I feel like it is my duty to avenge what happened and I know we’d rather be done with it, but I cannot until…”

Anna’s grip around Mary was tight. “Will you watch it?” She barely whispered.

Mary didn't have to ask what she meant. A serpent of fury coiled in her belly, and evil that she had always kept at bay and now was piecing together exactly how devilish it was. It frightened her to be honest.

“I’m not sure.” She whispered.

Anna leaned onto her back away from Mary staring at the ceiling. “Mary you could be-”

“Nothing will happen to me nor Thomas. I promise.”

This answer didn’t suffice for Anna.

“How do you know? If you are practically planning on murder!” Anna knelt up looking down on Mary. “Why must you, Mary?”

Mary sat up as well thinking about her answer carefully.

“No one. Nobody. Who did what this man did…to you…will ever live. You are my life, Anna, and you are my world. I can't just accept that this demon of a human is still…” Mary finished looking uncomfortable.

Anna stood up from their bed and sat next to the window, opening it more than it already was.

“My love, what are you thinking please tell me?” Mary pleaded.

Anna shook her head. Her long braid was coming undone across her shoulders. “Why must you though? Is it not enough knowing he is in prison!?”

Mary considered her words. “No.” She said.

Anna nodded knowing that she was set on her plan. “You risk the possibility of us…not being together…to seek revenge on this man…instead of holding steadily to a life with me then?”

Mary placed her feet over the bed and started to make slow steps towards her.

“I know that I will never be free of this until he is gone. I know that Thomas feels the same way and I have zero remorse for what my thoughts are. He hurt the love of my life to such an extent it ruined our lives for quite some time. So yes. I am risking the possibility. I cannot let this fucking man haunt us anymore and I will see that he is ruined.” Mary gritted her teeth as she was speaking, turning away from Anna. “I am not sorry. If this is my devil side then I will let it show when it needs to.”

Anna heard her words and looked out the window feeling the cold air on her face. “I see.” She whispered.

They both were in a silent standoff.

“I love you so much.” Mary whispered, looking anywhere but at Anna. “I have to protect you and defend you…Barrow feels the same…I cannot just let this fucking-” Mary sat down on the bed.

Anna was kneeling at Mary’s feet. “Just don’t watch it please.”

Mary’s eyes widened.

“Don’t be there and be with me…it would change you. You’re already trying to mask your evil side my love; this would only make it worse.” Anna was pleading with both of her hands on Mary’s knees. The breeze from the outside air hitting them with cold bursts. “You don’t have to you can be with me please Mary that’s my only-”

“I’ll be with you. I’ll be with you then. If this is your request then I will follow it. I love you so much.” Mary knelt down to where Anna was on the floor. “I’ll do whatever you want forever, Anna.”

Anna kissed her. “Please…for once I’ll say this to you..don’t leave me.”

This brought Mary out of her thoughts of murder. “I won't? Why would I leave you?”

“Because you’ll go to jail, Mary!” Anna whispered loudly. “Do not do that to me! He is not worth it!” Anna grabbed both of her hands in hers and as they were both knelt on the carpet she kissed her deeply. “Do not do that to me!”

“I won’t. I promise.” Mary kissed her and placed her hands on her waist and led them back to their bed. “For now…let’s just hold one another…I desperately want to hold you.”

Anna obliged and curled up in Mary’s arms. “You always are asking me to tell you I won't leave you and now I am not asking the same. Do not leave me Mary Crawley. I don’t know what I would do.” Anna said into the crook of her neck. “What would I do without you.” Anna said practically clutching to Mary’s body in any way she could. “You can’t ask something of me that you don’t want to reciprocate my love.” Anna traced her lips across Mary’s collar bone softly. “Do not do that to me…I finally am happy…I don’t care about this-”

Mary stopped her. “You won't have to lose me, but I do need to hurt this man for what he did to you, Anna Mae Crawley.” Mary said, very resolved.

Anna understood as best she could. “Well then.” She looked up at Mary whose eyes were demon-like. “I suppose I should get used to the idea of my future wife being a murderer.”

The choice of words drew Mary from her thoughts and she quickly shuffled down so she could see Anna. “Your future wife?”

Anna smiled. “Is that not why you gave me your family name…so we can be secretly wed…an unofficial marriage of the eldest daughter of the Earl to her maid?” Anna kissed Mary’s hands gently. “Do you not want to?”

Mary, who was so out of her mind with sudden joy, shook her head. “Of course…yes…I am sorry…Have you thought about this?”

Anna started giggling. “Have I thought about it? Mary, you gave me your family name whilst we were on the shore. What else should I make of that sort of statement?”

Mary pulled Anna in closer. “Yes…Oh goodness…Anna…” Mary clutched her tighter. “ I do have a plan…I just really need to finish this first.”

“Just make sure you’re both safe.” She whispered.

Mary kissed the side of her face and her lips and fingertips. Anything she could reach with her mouth. “Yes, Anna.” She pulled one of her palms up to her cheek. “Whatever you want my darling. Forever….”

Anna melted into her touch easily, not only slightly turned on by Mary’s revenge plan, but of how much she loved her to do such a thing.

“I love you, Mary.”

Mary pressed her body tightly against Anna’s. “Not as much as I love you.”

Chapter Text

“So how come there are two dinners for the investors? When you just had one not more than a week or so ago?” Anna asked as her and Mary were sitting on their favorite bench where they had their first kiss. Anna broke their silence as they had just been listening to the sounds around them and enjoying the fresh air.

“Oh. You know…I’m not sure. That’s just how it’s always been and now that you mention it, I should probably know this if I am to help Matthew. Why are you nervous for this evening?” Mary teased her.

“As it is only the second grand dinner I have attended, of course I am.” Anna lifted her head up from Mary’s shoulder. “Well that and…I am so looking forward to seeing all of my suitors.” She said, eliciting Mary to look thoroughly offended.

“For god's sake…I do think that man who was so infatuated with you previously is attending tonight. Why don't we hide in the courtyard all evening? Or just our bedroom. I can think of a much better use of our time.” Mary slid her hand up Anna’s thigh, which made Anna sigh.

“For the entire evening?” Anna placed her hand on top of Mary’s and slid it further up under her dress. “I wonder how we’d occupy our time?”

Mary almost purred at the thought and leaned in and kissed Anna. “It depends on how many times you can handle it.”

Anna released her hand from Mary's, removing it from her thigh. “Well…maybe I’ll allow you to have me somewhere tonight.”

This made Mary very excited. “Is that so? I thought the rules were-”

Anna shrugged standing up from the bench enjoying Mary’s clearly frantic eyes, most likely deciding where she would sneak Anna off to for this dinner and dancing, as it was one of her favorite turn ons.

“Hmmm.” Mary said, standing up putting her hand into Anna’s as they walked back.

“What is it you’d like me to wear?” Anna asked.

Mary didn’t answer right away as her thoughts were very much preoccupied. “What my dear?”

“I asked if you knew which gown you’d like me to wear. Perhaps my maids uniform so no men want to dance with-”

“That wouldn’t work either my love as I’d just want you more than I already do.” Mary shook her head. “No, I have a new one for you. I think it might actually be my favorite.” She smiled. “I won’t enjoy the leering men watching you.”

“I’m sure the first time was a fluke.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Now. Let’s have a lie down for a bit…these parties exhaust me and I’ll need all the energy I have to endure it. So tedious.”

*****

Robert was sitting at his writing desk remembering what his youngest had said to him about inviting the chauffeur to dinners…if he could endure his eldest being in love with her maid surely this shouldn’t be as difficult, but for some reason it was. He truly enjoyed Anna. She had a smile that was infectious. She was intelligent. She was strong willed…and most importantly she loved Mary. She loved Mary in such a way he had never seen her kindness shine through as it had been since they had been together. He wanted to try and accept that with Sibyl’s partner as well.

He stood up and pulled the soft velvet rope for Carson or Thomas.

It was Thomas who responded.

“Yes My Lord?”

Robert smiled meekly at the words he was about to say. “Barrow…would you please ask Branson to join me in the library?”

Thomas raised his eyebrows, but wasn’t overly surprised. He was debriefed on their dinner from either Mary and Anna or both of them.

“Of course, My Lord.” Thomas left.

Robert was pacing in the same way Mary did when she was nervous.

Tom entered the room in his work uniform looking equally nervous.

“My Lord.” He said fidgeting with the hat tucked under his arm.

Robert gathered his words to organize them in the way he wanted so as to not sound condescending or disapprovingly.

“Tom, as you must know we are hosting a dinner tonight for many shareholders of the estate. Sibyl has said you need to be invited to dinners by me specifically and I’d like you to join us. Escort Sibyl. There’s dancing and the food will be good.” He laughed awkwardly.

Tom was flabbergasted but knew there was only one answer that would set him and Sibyl on the right path with her family. “Of course your Lordship. I will be there…I don’t think I have quite the attire for-”

“Not to worry. Matthew has sent over some of his dinner jackets. You both are roughly the same size so it shouldn’t be an issue.”

They both stood awkwardly for a few seconds.

“Thank you Lord Grantham. This is very kind of you. I will be there.” Tom nodded, turning around to leave when Robert stopped him.

“I’ll be happy to have you..attend..” He smiled at the floor.

Tom returned the smile and left quickly passing Cora as he did so and he nodded at her as he went by.

“My. What was that all about?” She asked her husband.

Robert poured himself a drink and downed it quickly. “I invited him to our event this evening.” His voice was grim.

Cora however clapped her hands together. “Robert…I am so glad.” She kissed her husband. “Sibyl will be so pleased…and we want our daughters to be happy do we not?”

Robert huffed. “I do. I suppose…it’s not what I would want for both of them…let’s hope Edith makes a more suitable choice.”

Cora laughed. “I think at this point my darling we should brace ourselves for what our middle child has in store for us.”

Robert laughed as well. “I suppose you are right…nonetheless.”

*****

Mary was sitting next to her bedroom window reading, glancing often at Anna who was sleeping on her bed. Something she would have never been allowed to do if she were working. Which she had been doing still, but with much less importance. Today Anna rose early and did some of her chores before being summoned back upstairs so Mary could escort her to their bench.

Anna was so perfect when she was sleeping…she was perfect anyways…but when she was sleeping she looked so at peace in her soft warm bed. Her hair falling out of the messy braid Mary had done for her that morning. She was starting to stir in the middle of these thoughts-

Mary sat her book down and moved to the edge of the bed kissing her face softly. “Darling, wake up.”

Anna grumbled and opened her eyes. “This ghastly dinner, is it time already?” She said, her voice still heavy with sleep.

Mary laughed. “Yes. This ghastly dinner.”

Anna sat up, “I do hope this is the last one for some time.” She crawled over so she was curled up in Mary’s arms.

Mary held her rocking back and forth. “For now, yes.” She placed her long fingers on Anna’s hair. Lacing them through the blonde locks. “But not forever. Now. Up. Let’s get ourselves ready. We have an hour until we should be downstairs.”

Anna groaned and got up from the bed. “So what if this…oh I forgot his name…see’s me again and wonders why I am still here visiting you?”

Mary walked over and grabbed Anna’s dress from her wardrobe and laid it delicaly on the end of her bed. “Oh you mean Drew? The man who so desperately wants to date you? Well…I’d say you tell him that you’re already betrothed to another. Me. So I can claim you in front of the entire room.”

Anna started taking off her outfit without an ounce of amusement. “I am serious Mary.”

The dress Mary had made for Anna was a bright blue with thin straps and a sash that was pearl colored adorned with intricate beading.

Anna was admiring it with her brows furrowed. “Mary this looks very-”

“I hope it does look expensive. It was. This dress maker knows you well at this point.” Mary started to fit it on Anna’s small frame.

“And I am sure they still just think these are for your friend.” Anna said skeptical. “This is quite lovely my darling.”

Anna’s petite frame was perfect for dresses such as these and it always made Mary proud that she could find ones that were so elaborate, but simply, that fit Anna so well.

“Good. Now sit.” She sat a still sleepy Anna down at her vanity to style her hair. “Down or up?”

Anna yawned. “Whichever you’d like honey.”

Mary raised her eyebrows at the new endearing nickname for her. “Oh I do like that one.” She kissed the top of her head and started placing her long tendrils low on her neck.

“Well?”

Anna was almost fully awake.

“You really dislike waking up for evenings don’t you?” Mary taunted her. “Maybe we should forgo afternoon naps then.”

Anna stood up looking back at her. “No. I love them. I’ve never had the privilege to do so and now that I know they are an option I don’t see how I can manage these evenings with your family without them. Now. You. What is it you’d like to wear?”

Mary grabbed a dress out that was much like Anna’s except it was black instead of a bright blue.

“Twins this evening I see.” She raised an eyebrow. “I’m assuming this was on purpose.”

Mary shrugged as Anna dressed her and motioned for her to sit.

“I’m also assuming you do not care how your hair is styled?”

Mary thought about this. “Actually I’d like it in that braided one you did…ages ago.”

Anna was hesitant. “The one low on your neck?

“Yes. Is that suitable for you?”

Anna rolled her eyes. “That is not what I meant.”

“Fine. I only was asking as it’s the one I like the most on you…so you will regret this.” Anna began braiding Mary’s long curls.

“How will I regret this, Anna?” Mary asked knowing exactly what she was doing.

Anna tugged on her hair gently so she faced her. “You know.” She kissed her neck.

Mary was fueled by the idea of her sneaking Anna off somewhere that evening; it might have been the only thing she was looking forward to.

“I will sit next to you this evening by the way. I won’t be off watching some man touch you. Ever again.”

They were both dressed, once again hearing the cluster of voices downstairs.

“I would greatly appreciate that, however you must not give us away.” Anna’s concern showed.

“I’ll be discreet, I promise.” She had Anna in her favorite spot and landed her mouth over hers slipping her tongue against Anna’s. “I would never give us away…on purpose.”

Anna pushed her off giggling. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Yes my love.”

Mary opened the door ushering Anna into the hallway with her hand barely touching the small of her back as they descended the long staircase.

“Mary…” Anna whispered trying to hang behind her. “You do realize relationships such as ours are forbidden…” Anna said discreetly.

“That’s what makes it fun.” Mary turned towards her before entering the foyer greeting the guests just as she had the last time.

Anna glared at Mary and started towards the chairs against the walls trying to find someone from the family when she was all too quickly stopped by the very man that had taken interest in her last time.

“Anna?” He said despite her trying to act like she had not seen him.

She turned towards him summoning the same accent and attitude she had last time which in itself was tiresome. Pretending to be someone else must be how Mary had felt like her entire life. She was suddenly reminded of Edith telling her that Mary once said she wished she was a boy so she could dance with women too. She made a note to tease her about it later.

“Yes! Drew is it?” She said.

He smiled at her remembering his name. “Yes. I did not expect you to be here again. I’m delighted though.”

Anna, hoping that Mary wouldn’t intervene this time and give them away somehow, played along with her made up narrative she had prepared.

“I am still staying here. I haven’t made my way back home yet…although I do plan on it soon.” She said politely, folding her hands in front of her dress.

Drew clasped his hand in hers gently. . “This must be quite a change from London. Are you tired of city life?” He asked leading them across the room to sit down and before he could Matthew was there.

“Anna, I am so glad to see you again. I’d like to introduce you to Lavinia.” He gestured to a beautiful petite redhead who was at his side looking almost equally as nervous as Anna. “I was hoping you’d be here so you both could meet. Lavina, this is Anna.” It sounded like he might have told her about Mary and herself but she was only met with a kind smile and hand which Anna was grateful for as she could have an excuse to not have hers in this man’s hand anymore.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Anna. Matthew has spoken about you quite a bit. I’m glad you are here.” She said.

Anna was slightly thrown off but also grateful for the interference. “I hope Matthew has only said good things?” She laughed looking at them both avoiding Drew’s gaze.

Matthew took charge of the conversation again. “Mr. Drew. I’m Matthew.” He shook his hand.

Drew shook it politely. “Of course. Nice to meet you.” He nodded to Lavina as well looking back at Anna. “I met Anna at the last event and haven’t been able to keep her off my mind as a matter of fact.” He smiled at Anna. Who almost felt badly for him. He was so kind. She hated it.

“Well if you don’t mind I’d like to steal Anna for a bit.” Lavina gestured to Anna towards the side of the room, which Anna obliged slightly confused hoping that maybe she didn’t know about her and Mary, but as Matthew did, it wouldn’t surprise her that he had told her she just only hoped she was trustworthy.

“I’ll find you after dinner then.” Drew said walking away once again disappointed.

Lavinia sat them down as Thomas was bringing drinks around to the others and saw them sitting and made his way to Anna. “My Lady. My Lady.” He gestured to both of them which made Anna scoff at using a title with her.

“Thank you.” Lavina said, turning in her seat towards Anna. “Matthew has told me how fond you are of the family.” She took a sip. “I was instructed to save you.” She smiled.

She was very likeable just from this interaction Anna was having with her. She noticed that Matthew had found Mary and was whispering something into her ear when Mary looked in her direction.

“I do appreciate that My Lady. I’m not very comfortable with large parties.” Anna said not wanting to divulge anything else not knowing what she was privy to when Matthew walked over and sat on the opposite side of Anna.

“This is your second time amongst the wolves.” He said, smiling at her.

Anna grinned. “I’m getting somewhat better at it…I’m sure by the tenth time I’ll be a pro.”

Lavinia and Matthew laughed.

“If it helps…I’m dreadfully nervous whenever I have to attend these as well.” She said.

Mary was suddenly there standing in front of all three of them. “Matthew…Lavinia…I am so happy you both are here.” she said in her hostess voice.

“Sit here.” Lavina moved so she was sitting on the other side of Matthew and Mary quickly took her seat next to Anna. “It looked as if Anna needed saving. I hope you do not mind.”

Mary shook her head. “On the contrary! I am appreciative. Thank you.” It was so hard for Mary to not clasp her hand into Anna’s when they were eventually being summoned into the dining room. “Well then darling shall we go-” She slipped.

Lavina and Matthew both smiled into their laps.

“I only meant-” Mary was trying to recover.

“Mary. Lavina is privy to you both. We are here for moral support.” Matthew reassured her.

“Nothing is more romantic than forbidden love in my eyes.” Lavina said.

Mary and Anna were still acting like they were caught in the act.

“Mary and I are-”

“Anna.” Matthew said, giving her a look that said ‘do not try and talk your way out of this one.’

Anna suddenly started to giggle uncontrollably which made Mary’s start to as well.

“Come on, you all.” Cora was standing at the entrance to the dining room looking at the four of them. Her face was stern but kind.

“Yes of course.” Matthew stood up and took Lavina’s hand and then helped Anna up as well. Ever the gentleman. “Shall we? Behave yourself, Mary.” He winked at them both and linked his arm under Lavinia’s and left Anna and Mary alone in the foyer.

“I hope she can keep a secret or else I’ll have to commit two murders.” Mary said, placing her hand on Anna’s lower back leading her towards the dining room.

“Mary!”

“Anna!”

They both started to laugh uncontrollably.

“Mary Josephine!” Anna pinched her side quickly and walked in front of her composing herself and saw two seats open in between Matthew and Sibyl. Mary followed and sat herself next to Anna.

Anna hadn’t seen Tom earlier, but saw him sweating bullets sitting next to Sibyl. She leaned forward trying to gain his attention. “It’s nice to see you, Tom.” She smiled which he returned.

Anna and Mary both placed their napkins in their laps except Mary used this opportunity to move her hand up Anna’s thigh quickly before resurfacing waiting for the dinner to be served. Anna looked at her with a mixture of disapproval and desire.

“Is that all you have planned for me this evening, Mary Crawley?” Anna whispered to her.

Mary flushed slightly and looked at Anna, “Wouldn’t be fun if I told you now, would it?” She played along with their banter she so loved.

The dinner was served. The wine was poured. Mary was talking with some man across from her and Anna was staying as quiet as possible as speaking was such a chore hiding her accent and trying to match something akin to the girls when the man who was so infatuated with her addressed Anna.

“So what will you do if you stay in Downton long term?” He asked. Mary took quick notice of this and hooked her foot around Anna’s calf as it was the only way she could hold onto Anna in this setting.

“Well…” Anna was finding it difficult to focus, not only because of what Mary was doing, but because she wasn’t sure how to respond.

“Anna is actually going to help me.” Matthew said. “I have asked her for input on what she thinks about running an estate.” He took a bite of food. “She has a lot of experience with service as one of her cousins was a housemaid. I’d like the input of someone who knows how the staff functions.”

This helped as others started engaging more with Matthew instead of her. Her narrative was being written by the minute. She had to keep track of who she was and what she did.

Until the conversation was once again turned around towards her.

“How is it you know how a servant works? Just from your relative?” Drew asked politely but Anna couldn’t help but be offended by the way he said servants, and a much bolder side of herself, most likely adopted from Mary, emerged.

“And what do you mean by that Mr. Drew?” She said causing most of their side of the table to go silent.

This only caused Mary to be further aroused and rubbed her foot along her calf again.

“I only meant…it’s just such a lowly job…seems beneath you…a lady shouldn’t have to know how a staff works, only how they serve their families.” He took another bite of food.

Thomas looked at her warningly but she couldn’t help herself. Mary had instilled much more confidence in her than was necessary.

“Do they serve their families or are they simply working for a wage so they can live their lives? I don’t find it beneath myself at all.” She said and then decided to add, “Perhaps you should try it yourself? See how lowly a hard job it is.”

Most of the table was either silent or silencing their laughter, but not at her, at him. Anna saw that the immediate members of the family including Tom were trying to hide their grins.

“I only meant that it doesn’t seem like a task suitable for a lady as yourself.” Drew was trying to recover to be in her good favor.

“Like I said. Anna is quite knowledgeable as to how big houses are run and I’ve been eager for her input.” Matthew said, trying to end the conversation. But Anna had wine and some hard alcohol in her and her lover was turning her on greatly with her foot rubbing her leg.

“Does it seem beneath you?” She asked politely. “To do a job well done?” She took a sip of her wine noting that nobody from the family was stopping her from embarrassing this man.

“Not at all. I apologise if I have offended you. I’m certain you’ll be a great asset to Matthew's endeavor.” Drew said not wanting to continue the conversation but Anna had to have the last word, much like Mary always did.

“Hmm well..I suggest you try it for yourself, however you might not be able to…it’s quite hard work you probably wouldn’t be able to manage it.” She smirked at him and summoned Thomas with a glance so he could refill her wine and when he did he whispered in her ear.

“You’re mad.”

The rest of the table started to move the conversation more smoothly, but Anna saw that Cora and Robert were both smiling at Anna subtly before engaging with their guests again, but Violet lifted her glass slightly and nodded at Anna who did the same.

Once the dinner was over they all went back into the large room to dance which many guests did. Anna, who was fired up, had no desire to dance with anyone, but she saw Tom and Sibyl standing off in a corner. Tom looked uncomfortable as ever. She walked over to them with Mary on her heels.

“You really escaped persecution, didn't you.” She said to Tom.

He sighed. “I think you took most of the scandal for the evening.” which made all of them laugh as Edith joined them.

“Tom, why don’t you dance with me. I’ll go slow. Show you the steps so you can dance with Sibyl.” She offered her hand.

He was grateful. “A dance lesson at a ball. I’d appreciate that.” He followed Edith and the three girls watched as Edith slowly guided him around in circles.

“I suppose I should have done that. Oh damn.” Sibyl said. “I didn’t think to show him how to dance.” She turned towards Anna. “You on the other hand.” She didn’t even need to say what she was thinking.

“I know.” Anna sipped on her drink. “All this time we thought it would be Mary and here I am.” She flipped her hand up and down.

Mary and Sibyl laughed. “Darling you must stop picking up my ways.” Mary said.

“No, I like it.” Robert was there with Cora with the three girls.

Anna was half regretting what she had said. “I hope I didn’t embarrass anyone…I just very much dislike that man.”

Robert and Cora chuckled. “And here we thought Mary wouldn’t behave this evening.” Robert said. “Well then…before someone asks you… Anna, may I have this dance.” He bowed and offered his hand which Anna giggled and took.

“Lord Grantham of course.”

Cora, Sibyl, and Mary watched them smile and talk as they spun around the room.

Mary watched them and her heart was bursting at how her family was treating Anna. She was surprised but also not at the same time. It was almost impossible for anyone to dislike Anna.

“Your girlfriend is quite feisty this evening my dear.” Cora said, sitting down.

Mary shrugged. “I fear she’s learned that from me unfortunately…and I also believe Matthew has told his date about us, so if she betrays our trust I’ll have to-”

Lavina and Matthew were joining them in their corner of the room.

“Hiding I see.” Matthew sat next to Sibyl and Lavina sat next to Mary. “Robert has saved her once again. I would have if she needed you know.” He added raising his brows to Mary.

Mary, whose eyes hadn’t left wherever Anna was, looked at him. “I am eternally grateful. Thank you…and also thank you.” She added looking at Lavinia.

“She’s very outspoken.” Lavina said which caused most of them to chuckle. “What? Something I said?” She looked self conscious all of a sudden.

Cora adjusted her posture. “The thing is Anna really isn’t…this is just something she’s learned from Mary.”

“Which I think is a good thing.” Sibyl smiled.

Robert was leading Anna back to their little group. “Once again, thank you for the dance my dear.” He bowed slightly. Which, this was maybe the first time he used some sort of word of endearment directly for Anna and she felt…special for him doing so.

“Lord Grantham.” She curtseyed mockingly which made them all burst out into laughter. Their little world most likely being observed from the multitude of people around them.

“Now. Cora. Best we go and engage with our guests.” He held out his hand for her and they left.

Sibyl was watching Tom and Edith laugh and move awkwardly around the room when the song ended she let go of his hands and they returned as well.

“Well. I’m not very good…but Lady Sibyl…would you like to dance with me?”

Sibyl lit up. “I’d love nothing more!” She held onto his hands and they left as Edith sat down with a sigh.

Mary only had thoughts inappropriate for any conversation and looked at Anna with hungry eyes. Anna had promised her she could steal her off. Matthew and Lavina had joined the others dancing; it was just them and Edith.

“I wonder if I can slip off…there is nobody here I’d like to-”

A handsome man approached her. “My Lady.” He offered his hand to Edith who placed her well practiced smile on.

“Of course.” She looked at her sister and Anna barely containing rolling her eyes.

Mary and Anna sat in a heated silence.

“So. Where will you have me?” Anna said, which caused Mary’s neck to burn.

“Follow me.” She barely whispered.

Mary stood up and walked towards the library and then into the room they’d use for playing cards after dinner while the men smoked their cigars. The room was mostly silent aside from the muffled voices coming from the party. Mary pushed Anna against the wall and started kissing her deeply.

“Mary…this is too open…we shouldn't…” Anna started to object.

“No this is perfect…” She turned Anna around and lifted up her dress so she could touch her.

“Mary someone could-”

“Someone could see us…they won't…nobody will be in here…you promised I could have you..” Mary was kissing her neck and biting her gently as Anna sighed. “Doesn’t it feel nice my love?” She asked, working her fingers over Anna.

Anna finally relaxed and leaned back and grabbed Mary’s neck so she could kiss her with a soft moan. “Yes please don’t stop.”

“You did promise me.” Mary said, pushing her own hips against Anna’s back as she moved her hand faster eliciting muffled sounds from Anna. “No. Don’t quiet them…let me hear them.”

Anna, who was so enamored with Mary’s words and motions, let out a whimper into Mary’s neck that she was holding on to.

“Yes, Mary. Whatever you say.” She heaved her hips back and pressed a hand against the wall. “You can have me wherever you want.” She started to pant at her impending climax.

“Good girl.” Mary whispered into her ear.

Mary moved her fingers inside and rubbed her palm up against Anna’s center which elicited a cry Anna tried to stifle as her legs started to shake and she came gripping Mary’s neck.

Anna turned around and planted her mouth onto Mary’s pushing their hips together not bothering to look and see if anyone was nearby. “I’m you’re good girl…be mine.” She pushed Mary against the wall and draped her lips across her skin. The sounds of the party in the background only turning her on more….another thing Mary must have instilled in her. She rubbed her hand across her front over her dress. “Call me your good girl again.”

Mary was breathing heavily into Anna. “ I was to have you…not the other way round my love…oh god…” Anna turned her around and pressed her into the wall pulling her dress up so she could touch her. She moved her fingers faster knowing that someone could find them at any moment.

“Will you always be my good girl, Anna?” Mary said, mouth hung open, panting with each movement of her fingers.

“Will you always be mine, Mary Josephine Crawley?” Anna said, placing her lips on Mary’s neck.

Mary’s breathing was rapid as were her moans. “I’ll always be yours…oh…Anna…please…” She begged as Anna pulled her back against her, wrapping her arm around her waist. Mary’s hand grasping onto Anna’s neck desperately. “Please.”

The party was growing louder and Anna quickened her motions around Mary’s center.

“I’ll never let anyone touch you again…Anna…oh…” Mary’s legs started to shake. “Please make me-”

And stopped and flipped her back and pushed her against the wall and knelt down lifting up Mary’s dress to hold up.

She looked up at Mary who was holding her dress up and to the side, with her other hand plastered to the wall.

Anna quickly started to move her tongue across her most sensitive spot which made Mary cry out loudly.

“Shhh..”

She moved her mouth in such a way that was sending Mary. Her legs were already shaking and she was using her free hand to clutch onto the wall behind her trying to quiet the noise she so desperately wanted to let out.

Anna doing this in such a public setting was also turning Mary on. She didn’t even look around to see if anyone was in the room or listen to signs if anyone was.

“Fuck, Anna.” She clenched her legs together and came with a loud gasp.

Anna stood up and smoothed down Mary’s dress and kissed her. Placing her tongue over Mary’s who reciprocated immediately. They stayed in that position for some time drinking each other's love up with every caress of their lips.

“My. I wasn’t expecting that darling.” Mary said, trying to assemble herself to re enter the party.

“I hope to always surprise you.” Anna said, placing her hand on her lower back pressing them together tightly. “And what will you do to me later?” Anna’s eyes were still full of lust. Her pupils were blown.

Mary was continuously shocked by how assertive her partner was. Pleasantly shocked.

“My love you will have to find out…” Mary separated them and breathed in and out loudly. “Oh I can’t believe we got away with that.” She started to laugh which made Anna also laugh.

They were holding one another trying to compose themselves to join the party.

“Well…I see the appeal…I didn’t before but now I do…It is quite erotic…having you in some public setting.”

The sounds of the guests from the party were muffled and they both stood looking at one another in some sort of trance.

“Well then…we should go back…” Anna reached down and placed her hand over Mary’s center teasingly. “We shouldn’t miss out on you saying your farewells to your guests.” She pressed into her and rubbed up and down on her dress.

Mary sighed leaning in with her mouth open, “No…we wouldn’t want that…oh god…”

Anna removed her hand and pushed Mary off of her who gave a grunt of disapproval.

“Oh but please tell me what you’ll do to me later my love.” She asked as they walked through the rooms.

“I’d like to place my mouth on all different parts of your body.” Anna said conversationally. “Or perhaps just tease you…but if I told you it wouldn’t be fun now would it?”

Mary growled.

They entered the foyer again and Anna and Mary went and sat down next to Cora who was talking with a man politely. Anna sat down as did Mary with their slightly red faces.

Mary was boring her eyes into Anna who was also not able to keep her gaze from hers. It was as if nothing else mattered in the world aside from them. Mary’s deep amber eyes and Anna’s blue eyes clashing together as they both imagined the ways they’d love one another when they were alone. Which was the only time they felt truly whole.

“Your absence has been noted, Anna. That man was asking about you.” Cora said seeing as they had returned.

Anna rolled her eyes and pursed her lips. “He is very persistent. I'll give him that…I’m not sure how to throw him off however.”

“You could actually throw him.” Mary added which made Anna laugh out loud and cover her mouth to hide it.

“Shall I stick you on him? Nothing would be more fearsome.” Anna replied, still laughing.

“You both are evil.” Cora said, creasing her eyebrows but hiding her amusement. “This is talk you should save for after the party.”

Mary and Anna stopped as they were reprimanded.

As if summoned by their talk the man saw that Anna had returned and walked over smiling. Ever the gentleman. Anna almost felt bad, but more she felt bad that she couldn’t out right tell him she was most definitely not interested.

“Anna. I’ll be leaving soon. I’d like at least one dance with you…it’s not likely I’ll see you anytime soon…” He lent his hand out to Anna who was still sifting what Mary had done to her in their secret rendezvous.

“Of course. I’d love to.” Anna took his hand and followed him to dance with.

Mary’s eyes, always giving away her emotions, were dark.

“Mary.” Cora said warningly.

Mary rolled her eyes and composed herself. “Yes. I know. It is just so unfair. I want to dance with Anna and I want to tell everyone that she is mine and I want to marry her and-” she stopped realizing what she had said. “I only mean I just wish-”

Cora was smiling widely and placed her hands over her mouth. “Oh Mary!”

“Mama I only meant that-”

“Mary. My darling, you want to marry Anna?”

Mary shuffled in her seat looking anywhere but her mother. “Yes. It’s not allowed, but I figured I could at least…ask her…and…give her some sort of ring and promise myself to her forever…I know it would never be official but that does not matter to me what matters is that I will and can be with her forever.” Mary said this all while looking at the floor.

Cora rubbed her arm. “So you shall my darling daughter. Love has no boundaries.” She was going to elaborate when the sisters and Matthew and Lavinia joined them.

“Well I think this was another successful evening…I might sneak us back into the library as everyone is leaving though.” Matthew said, placing his hand in Lavinia’s.”

Cora stood up. “Yes let me help Robert say farewell to our guests…looks like they are all leaving as well.” She left.

Mary stood up, still watching the man dance with Anna.

“Mary, let's go into the library.” Sibyl said, looping her arm under hers. “Anna can join us soon.” She whispered.

Tom, Sibyl, Edith, Matthew, and Lavinia all snuck into the library without having to interact with anyone but Mary noticed that Anna had stopped dancing with that man and was approached by another and couldn’t help herself but go and try to-

“No…leave her…she knows to join us…you’ll only give yourselves away.” Sibyl said, steering Mary away and sitting her down on the red sofa.

Mary breathed deeply in through her nose and exhaled something akin to a growl.

“It’s not fair.”

Matthew poured them all drinks and handed them off. The silence between them all was comfortable however. Like they were once again in their own world, which was something Mary had not experienced with Matthew and his new intended.

“You seem to be handling it well.” Lavinia said nervously. “I commend you for it. I’m not sure I could.” She sipped her drink and looked at Matthew who sat next to her smiling.

Mary looked away from them all. Frustrated as she couldn’t openly show affection with the person she had chosen to love when her parents joined them.

“Well thank god that’s over with.” Robert said.

“How did you fare my dear?” Cora asked Lavinia.

She smiled at her lap. “I hope well.”

Robert sat next to Tom who was silently nestled with Edith and Sibyl.

“You did perfectly.” He said smiling at Lavinia. “Mary, where is Anna?” He looked at all of them noticing she wasn’t there.

Mary stood up. “She was saying her farewells to the men who wanted her I guess. I will go and find her though.” She was walking towards the foyer when Anna met her.

“I am sorry. I was occupied by some of your guests.” Anna saw the frustrated look in Mary’s eyes. “And apparently some others.” Mary clutched her hand and led her into the library and they sat down.

This was a real test for Lavinia. If she was fully accepting who Mary loved and who she was.

The rest of the family laughed at Mary. Including Tom.

“I don’t see why you are laughing at me. Did you not tell them you are our chauffeur?” Mary said.

Tom and Sibyl smiled. “No, I did not tell them.” Tom answered.

“I hope not. The Irish chauffeur courting my daughter would shock them.” Robert replied.

Mary, who was still endlessly discouraged about this, had to once again say so. “Papa and what if I said I were with Anna?”

Robert poured himself another glass of whisky. “I still stand by it.” He took a sip.

The room laughed including Matthew and Lavinia.

“My, this family does have its scandals…that is what Matthew has said.” She said nervously looking at Tom and Anna.

Anna, who once again was instilled with Mary’s boldness, replied, “I wouldn’t say they are scandals but something more akin to stupidity.” She sipped her drink feeling very much close to drunkenness.

They all laughed.

“Oh so falling for me was stupid?” Mary said.

“Absolutely.”

More laughter.

“I agree with Anna. It is very stupid of us.” Tom said.

Lavinia was shuffling awkwardly laughing with the rest of them. “Well I also feel like a fool so you both aren’t alone…despite out…well..” She was faltering with her words.

Anna, quite accustomed to their after dinner banter, replied. “Despite our class differences, yes you are still allowed to feel like a fool.” Which elicited more laughter from them.

“I’d like to turn in. This evening was tiresome.” Mary said, standing up reaching for Anna.

“I’ll follow you.” Anna said knowing why Mary wanted to turn in. “Thank you for inviting me. I hope to be invited again.”

“You’ll always be invited, my dear.” Cora said knowing what she had heard Mary say.

The rest of them bid their goodnight to them and Mary hooked her arm under Anna’s leading them up the stairs.

“And why is it you’d like us to escape your family so quickly my love?” Anna whispered.

Mary pulled her close when they were at the top of the stairs. “Why do you think?”

Anna giggled as Mary led them towards their room.

Mary opened their door and closed it quickly.

“All evening I’ve wanted nothing but you.” She pushed Anna up against her door, her favorite place for her, and worked her mouth across her neck. “Having you earlier…only made me…want you more…my love” She started to take off her dress.

Anna did the same and soon they were both bare.

“Mary…how else did you want me?” Anna sighed as they swayed in the middle of the bedroom.

Mary moved them back towards the bed and laid Anna on her back and crawled on top of her.

“May I show you?” She said into Anna’s mouth moving her lips across her neck. “Or would you rather I not?”

Anna was thrusting her hips up and whining. “What do you want to show me, Mary? Please.” She leaned her head back into the pillows. “Show me Mary…please…”

Mary wrapped her arms around Anna’s body and laid her mouth on any inch of skin she could find. Her tongue around her chest, across her belly, her shoulders, the side of her face, her torso, moving down to her center which Anna thrusted up into.

“Is this what you-”

“Yes…I thought of it all evening.”

Mary gathered her up with her mouth. She grasped onto her thighs tightly and pressed her face deeply into her humming which made Anna cry out without holding back. Mary kept moving her mouth and tongue along her as Anna was swimming in the feeling. Mary only ever wanted to make her feel this way. Anna’s hands pressed against the headboard, her voice sensually vocal, her hips heaving up into her mouth.

“Mary…Oh god.” Anna said, pressing Mary’s head into her deeper. “Oh god…”

Mary continued moving her mouth and tongue and felt Anna, who was close to completion and didn’t look up or speak.

Anna lifted her hips up as she climaxed and let out maybe the loudest sound Mary had heard when they had made love.

Mary wiped the sides of her mouth on Anna’s thighs.

“My dear I think you told the entire house what we have been up to.” She kissed her way up Anna’s body.

“Well…I fear that is your fault.” She panted as her body was practically limp. “Oh god Mary that was..”

Mary held Anna close, smiling into her skin. Smelling her. Memorizing the feel of her skin. Moving her hands across her body seeing how she squirmed as she did so.

“Mary…I’m sensitive” Anna said as she did so.

“I can never get enough of you my love…you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever been able to touch. You are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen…”

Anna smirked into her skin, flushing their bodies together. “Is that so? Well. I feel so special Mary Crawley.” She brushed her head into Mary’s neck. “And what is it that has you so enamoured?”

Mary held her more tightly and pressed her mouth against her blonde hair. “Where shall I even start?” She traced her fingers all across Anna’s body. “I don’t recall anything that made me know what true beauty is. When I was little we went and visited my grandmother in America. I remember leaning against the railings of the ship…and the water churning captivated me…the white swells and the deep blue of the water…and at the time I thought…this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Mary continued caressing Anna’s skin, who was listening to Mary’s story intently. “I thought…I’d never see anything more beautiful than that…and I knew I wouldn’t have much choice in what I wanted… but then…but then you came along…and you just…entered my bedroom…me… someone who is so privileged..and you are so goddamn gorgeous, Anna. You were there and not to sound cliched, but your eyes remind me of the waves that ship was making that I spent the entire trip watching.”

Mary held onto Anna, but almost embarrassed by what she had said.

“I suppose that’s a little too bold perhaps but-”

Anna placed a finger over her mouth. “Shhh…” She kissed her softly and slowly. “I never expected anyone to say something as that to me, Mary.” She kissed her again.

They held one another for sometime.

“When I was small…My sister and I would play in our garden…and I would help my mother plant seeds…which is where I found my love for it…and the first thing I ever grew were flowers. Something my mother found…superfluous… as it’s not anything we could eat…but she was proud that I did so…and that’s when I started loving the soil. The feel of it…the color…it’s almost like the soil in my hand…like I was growing…our love in my hands and I didn’t know it yet.”

Anna kissed her neck leaning her leg up over Mary’s to be closer to her.

Mary was beside herself with feelings. Something she only had with Anna.

“My darling. Please tell me more about your childhood.” She pressed them closer. “I fall more in love with you every day.” She kissed her face.

Anna snuggled in and laughed. “What is it you’d like to know?” She asked, kissing the side of her face.

Mary moved so they were facing one another.

“Did you only grow flowers? What else did you plant in your garden? Was this where you’d read your book?”

Anna laughed into her chest. “I actually helped my mother grow other more edible things as well…before she married my stepfather…and yes I’d stit in our small garden and read whatever book I could get my hands on.”

“Was it better prior to…him?”

Anna shifted slightly in her arms. “I’m not sure…we didn’t have much of anything before my mother remarried…but then…of course…” Anna pressed her face deeper into Mary’s chest.

“Of course.” She kissed the top of Anna’s head.

“It was just different. My sister, mother, and myself were no longer…a trio…some man was now there and…he was helping us so much financially…so we really didn’t have a say.”

Mary was moving her hand up and down Anna’s arm while kissing her head softly.

“I’m sorry you didn’t ask for all-”

“Never apologize to me. Always tell me what you are feeling and thinking. I want to know everything about you, my love.” Mary responded.

“Hmm…Thank you.” Anna nestled in Mary’s arms giving her soft kisses as well. “I love you, Mary.”

Mary breathed in and out deeply. “Not as much as I love you.”

Mary was resolving a plan in her head and planned on talking to Barrow about it in the morning.

Anna was falling asleep in Mary’s arms and Mary was lost in the feeling of having her there.

“Sleep my darling…You’re safe with me…always…”

Chapter Text

Mary was awake prior to mostly all of the servants including Anna. She lumped her hair back into a simple bun and slipped on an outfit she could wear without assistance, all the while she was watching Anna who was sleeping soundly. Her nerves were paramount as this was the moment where her and Thomas were going to…officially kill the man who raped and hurt Anna. Breaking her promise that she would not be present for.

She kissed Anna’s forehead softly and left quietly stepping down the hallway to Thomas who was waiting for her in the servants hall.

Her nerves were high, but her resolve was not. She still had the furious anger and hatred that fueled her actions. She still kept the thoughts of this man throwing her Anna against the wall of the alley behind the shop, cutting her face, breaking her wrist, pressing himself into her, covering her mouth so she couldn’t cry out. He had done this to Anna.

Every time she was hesitant about this decision she replayed those images in her mind and felt zero remorse. As she was sure Thomas did as well.

It was almost four thirty in the morning and the only people awake in the house were herself and Thomas.

They didn’t say anything to one another for some time as they walked around towards the car that was requested by Mary.

Thomas looked almost more murderous than Mary did, which didn’t go unnoticed by Tom, who was clearly summoned at some ungodly hour for some reason he was not exactly sure of.

“My Lady.” He opened the door for her.

“Thank you, Branson.” She settled herself in the backseat and Thomas in the front as they were driven to the train station.

The drive was short, but Mary’s mind was churning with thoughts of right and wrong. Was it so wrong to want this man, who was sentenced to a life in prison, to be killed? Would her conscience be haunted by it? Would she lose Anna, who was so opposed when she would ultimately find out.

She decided she didn’t care. If Anna decided she was so disgusted by her actions then she would live with that, but she couldn’t live with this man alive after what he had done to her and as she herself, was a diabolical monster anyways, maybe she should lean into that side just for once.

Tom stopped at the train station and opened the door for her with a look of worry.

“My Lady…I will be back around six….to gather yourself and Thomas…” He was maybe kind of privy to their plan, but didn’t want to be associated with it, which was fair. “Be careful.” He added with a hand on her shoulder.

Mary looked at him with a serious face. “Thank you, Branson.” She said with her voice still deep from sleep. “Please don’t-”

“I wont My lady…” He said.

She nodded and walked towards the train platform with Thomas following her.

****

Anna woke up alone and slightly confused.

She kicked the blankets off of her and started to dress herself in her uniform with worry…but also with trepidation…knowing that if Mary was not with her something had happened so she dressed quickly and left for the servants hall.

She walked towards the long table smiling at them. “Morning.”

“Thought you would have gone with Lady Mary to London.” Gwen said, eating her breakfast.

Anna, who suddenly was filled with dread, knew where and what Mary was doing and did her best to hide it.

“She didn’t need me. Which is a blessing in disguise honestly.” She teased which a lot of the staff found funny. However Ms. Hughes did not smile and was looking at her with worried eyes.

Anna moved her breakfast around on her plate and only drank her tea as her heart was pounding. Was Mary doing what she had said she would. She had promised she wouldn’t be there…she told her…she had promised her…if she broke that promise would she be able to forgive her. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to, as it was something so important that she had promised. If she couldn’t uphold that then she couldn’t trust her again. It broke her heart. She understood why Mary would feel like she needed to…do what she wanted…but to not do what she wanted was something else entirely.

“Anna. Might I have a word before you start your day?” Ms. Hughes asked as the rest of the table stood up.

Anna smiled the best she could. “Of course Ms. Hughes.” She followed her down the hallway towards her office.

Anna sat down opposite her looking anywhere but her eyes. Mainly down at the floor.

Ms.Hughes was trying to find her words. “Anna. Why are Thomas and Lady Mary in London?” She said, finally looking down at her desk.

Anna scoffed and tried to keep the tears from forming in her eyes, which was pointless, as they procured anyways. She wiped them away and still did not look at her.

“I cannot tell you.” She whispered.

Ms. Hughes nodded understanding as much as she figured. “And I am assuming you have a very contrasting…opinion…as to why they are there?” She said, trying to find her gaze. “Anna?’

Anna looked up with tears in her eyes. “Please. Whatever you assume, just keep it to yourself.”

Ms.Hughes once again held her head down knowing her suspicions were true. She had seen Mary and Thomas frequently in the courtyard, and seen the devil in both of their eyes…not that she fully disapproved of their endeavour. However, she did disapprove of the way they were going about it.

“I will, Anna…Would you like to take the day off?” She offered.

“No.” Anna said quickly. “Can I speak plainly with you…and with discretion please…”

Ms. Hughes looked at her with a yes.

Anna shifted in her seat trying to piece together the right words.

“They are angry at the man who….and both of them are so much alike…and…I have said to leave it and they haven’t and Mary has promised me she wouldn’t be there but she went anyways and I am lost…Ms.Hughes I am lost…I do not know if I can forgive her…I never asked Thomas to…but I did ask her.” Anna was openly sobbing and Ms.Hughes moved around her desk and pulled a chair so she was next to Anna and held her hands.

“Anna. What I know of Lady Mary…is that she is very head strong…and I am sure she did promise you…but I do know that she…I do know that she loves you very much and I cannot see her letting something like this go.” She rubbed Anna’s back. “If you feel you cannot forgive her for this, that is your choice. You’ll always have a place here…but my dear I do think that the family has quite taken to you.” She continued to rub light circles around her back as Anna cried into her palms. “I wouldn’t let this come between you as a matter of fact, it’s such an act of love…it’s almost…dramatically romantic.” She laughed.

Anna chuckled, wiping her tears. “I’m not even sure why they left….but I am mostly sure.” She accepted the handkerchief offered to her from the woman trying to console her.

“Well. Whatever they are doing…they are doing for love….and is that not something to take lightly, Anna.” She tried to reassure her.

Anna stood up gathering herself. “Thank you Ms.Hughes. I’ll get on with my day.” She left her office as the older woman looked at the floor with her eyebrows furrowed. There was nothing she could say that would make this better.

*****

Mary and Thomas were leaving the train that took them to London and towards the car that was summoned by the powers of Mary’s wealth.

“I promised Anna I wouldn’t be present.” Mary said quietly.

Thomas who was snuffing his smoke out under his foot before they entered the car was looking conflicted. “I never promised her anything…you can say you didn’t know-”

“She will know. I cannot lie to her anymore than I have, Thomas.” Mary climbed into the backseat as Thomas sat in the front. The car took them towards the prison.

She had promised Anna she wouldn’t be present for it. Would Anna forgive her for this? She wasn’t even sure that it would happen today, but Thomas was certain it might. He had bribed the prison guards and his cellmate from powers she felt were beyond her realm, and when he told her she only felt glee. As did he. She still felt no remorse in her actions.

This man had hurt the love of her life. She, regardless of what her lover had requested, wouldn't rest until he was dead.

“My Lady, are you sure this is the-” The driver asked.

She handed him a large amount of money. “Yes and we expect to be brought back to the station within the hour. You may wait here or wait somewhere else. It’s your choice.”