Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Everything around me rattled loudly, leaving my ears ringing, while every turbulence we hit sent me crashing against the wooden walls that confined me. I tried my best to hide within the barrel I found myself in. They had left me with no choice but to store myself in a stupid container to reach my destination.

It’s the only way I have to get to Celestelia!

Time distortions had appeared a week ago, marking changes within our world.

There’s no way I’m going to miss this! Not when I’ve waited all my life for this moment to come!

After all, I would finally meet my fate. However, my family left me behind because it was too dangerous.

Bah! It’ll be anything but that! I know it!

However, the thought of what I was about to do left me shivering inside the barrel.

What if something goes wrong? What if I chicken out? Crap... That can’t happen!

Doubts were something I couldn’t afford to do. Everything had to play out perfectly if I wanted my freedom—a liberty I would chase to the end of the world. Grabbing hold of my over-the-ear headphones, I blasted music to tune out everything around me.

It even muffled all the loud noises from the airship’s luggage hitting the walls.

Why do I find myself inside a cargo hold rather than one room for guests on the ship? Well, I’m supposed to be here.

This ship was supposed to carry only the supplies Dad had ordered, and I was supposed to be back home. They wanted me to wait for my dear family’s return from ending an evil, a certain mad Lycan posed, but I had other plans.

Important ones! If I save the world, maybe I can prove my independence! And perhaps my brothers and sisters will finally see me as something other than baggage.

It was what I felt most of the time while stuck at home.

I don’t let that bother me too much. After all, this is my redemption arc! I’ll show them all how independent I truly am. Surely, I don’t need any protection from them!

Sadly, I hated that whenever the airship hit turbulence, my head would bang against the secured barrel I hid in. Luckily, it was a brief ride since we landed only a few hours later. When the cargo hold was going to be unloaded, I tried to peek out of a small hole the barrel had.

That failed when it wasn’t long before one worker picked me up and tried to carry me out.

“What the heck? Are rice barrels this heavy?” He huffed, leaving me with my eyes twitching.

No! No! Relax! You can’t yell at him right now! You have to stay hidden!

Unfortunately, he gave up on trying to pick it up and rolled me down the ramp instead. Thanks to his treatment, I almost hurled my stomach contents out. Luckily, I didn’t.

Oi! Was that really necessary? I’m not even that heavy! The gall that puny human has! Arg! Wait until I get out of here! Hmph!

Although heated, I could do little while rolling into a tent. It was used to store all the supplies needed for this adventure to stop the evil, which was far from my destination. Even though I wanted to run out of here and into the future that awaited me, I had to wait until nightfall.

It didn’t help that my…

Oh… crap! Drinking that jug of water before getting here was a bad idea!

Though there were many times I almost pissed myself in fear of being caught early. Luckily, no one peeked into the barrel I was in. It was supposed to be filled with rice, but I dumped it back in Silverant when no one was watching.

Surely, they won’t miss one barrel of rice. There are others here filled with it for the same purpose!

Turning off my MP3 player and headset, I stored them in my bag, not wanting to drain their energy for later use. However, the moment I did, comments came my way.

What are you doing? Someone said from inside the barrel, startling me.

I had forgotten that these dreadful things plagued me. Slowly, I gazed toward the voice and noticed a bright, shimmering blue orb floating with me inside the barrel.

Ek! Just my luck! Yuck! Ghost follow me no matter where I go!

There weren’t any in the air while we got there. Ignoring the ghastly presence, I continued attempting to listen in on conversations around the camp, only for the noisy orb to pester me.

Hey, I’m talking to you. I know you can hear me. It continued to engage with me, much to my annoyance.

Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes because of its constant hovering. I always set myself aside from giving them any time of day, yet sadly, that usually failed.

“Shut up...” I muttered, trying to figure out what the others were doing.

Unfortunately, my hearing wasn’t as good as a pure breed Lycan's, but it had perks. There was at least one guard out of the tent I found myself in, perhaps for the hybrids that lived nearby not to steal any rations.

Bummer... I’m going to be here for a while.

A heavy sigh left me, relaxing into the barrel.

But what are you doing? The ghost continued to hover around me.

My temper wasn’t the best, thanks to my diluted Lycan blood.

Yes, I’m a half-breed between a werewolf father and a human mother.

“I don’t care if you need me for some fucking thing! Ghost, go away! I don’t have time for you today!” I snapped, crossing my arms in a sort of a pout.

When I lost it, more orbs appeared, leaving my eyes twitching.

Crap, you know you shouldn’t talk to them!

But we’re so lonely. Another ghost complained, hovering close to my face as I waved my arm to shoo it away.

These orbs were spirits of people who didn’t want to pass into the next life—stragglers with wants and regrets and all dead set on bugging me.

“I don’t care! Just let me be already!” I shouted quickly, covering my mouth right after.

Oh… Fuck! I didn’t just do that, did I?

Shifting my eyes to the little hole in the barrel, I hoped no one was around to listen to my stupid outburst. These souls always got me into trouble when I didn’t need it. Every hair in my body rose when the guard outside entered the room after my burst.

“What the heck was that?” They mumbled, taking a few more steps into the tent.

My only saving grace was that it was someone I didn’t know. If anyone knew me, I would’ve been caught instantly.

Shivers ran down my spine as I closed my eyes to calm myself. I tried slowing my breath to make no noise while they stepped around the boxes, trying to figure out where the sound came from. A saving grace came when…

“Yo, do we have some fruits to snack on?” A too-familiar voice asked the guard who was supposed to be outside the tent.

Out of all the people, it has to be you?!

My heart was nonexistent, beating faster than it had ever gone before. Noticing he was needed, the guard exited the tent to see who was asking him.

“Oh, Caden, it’s you. There should be some in the stockpile. I’ll take some out for you.” The guard informed him, returning to the tent and opening the box near where I was.

My heart sprinted when he searched the boxes near me, and I covered my mouth, unable to move from where I was. All I could do was pray my loving brother wouldn’t come in, or else he would find me.

Like me, he had human blood within him, yet our father’s side dominated, allowing him to have all the abilities that came from being a wolf. He also had the Red Moon blessings, which allowed him to control magic to an extent.

All it did for me was destabilize my human side, which was equally dominant as my wolf.

Of course, this would happen! This isn’t fair at all! Oi years were being shaved from my life!

“Yup, Vera wants some apple chips if you have them,” Caden informed, gathering fruits for her.

From the sound of his voice, it sounded more like a chore than anything else to him. However, our sister always got her way whenever she wanted something.

“Yep, got them right here. Anything else you need?” The guard asked, walking back towards him.

“A solitary bath... we’ve been here for five days and still nothing. I don’t think I can take another day here like this.” Caden sighed.

This young wolf would’ve invested his time in other things than standing there for the evil of everything to come. Since this was a Cerberus camp, there was only one bath for everyone to use. Well, one for women and one for men.

It was uncomfortable for someone who had never experienced it, but unlike my brothers and sisters, I desired to be out more than anything, which left me to care little if there were only unisex bathrooms.

“Sorry about that, but I can’t help you.” The guard chuckled.

I could imagine his fluffy ears tilting down when he handed the wolf the fruits from the storage. We came from a life of luxuries, so it must’ve been a shock for my siblings to be there.

“Yup, I know—” Caden stopped as something caught his attention.

I felt like my heart would stop when he stepped into the tent. His approach instigated a mini heart attack that shaved years of my poor life with each step he took. The ground below us was soil, so I could barely hear his steps.

“Hey, what were you looking for before I interrupted you?” My brother questioned, allowing me to hear his voice, which was too closed for comfort.

Crap! I’m about to get screwed!

“I thought I heard someone yell, but it must’ve been elsewhere. The camp’s always rowdy.” The guard shrugged, not finding anything in the storage from his previous quick search.

“Hm...” Caden stood there momentarily, “Nah, it can’t be. She can’t be that stupid.” He mumbled.

The urge to break out and tell him I wasn’t stupid was hard to drown, yet somehow I managed to do so. However, luckily, he left soon after, leaving me unsteady after what happened.

If things keep happening, I’m going to piss myself before I get out of this barrel!

Woah, they almost caught you! The annoying ghost continued to chat me up after the danger passed.

Trying to avoid being swayed by these gremlins a second time, I covered my ears and eyes with my hands and knees. Sadly, only music ever tuned them out enough to bring me peace, as their chatter drove me crazy.

It was nonstop, but it would only get worse from there. We were located in the forest. Twenty years ago, there was a battle, making it an excellent place for spirits to gather and haunt me. Unlike my more powerful sister, Vera, my power was unstable, making me unable to stop these ghosts from barraging me.

Mom usually struggled with her voices, too, but they weren’t from this world like mine. They usually got worse the more agitated I got, so I used some relaxation techniques she taught me to combat it.

I closed my eyes, trying to think of one of my precious memories—the moment I first saw my destiny. Before I knew it, I drifted off into a slumber, and a dream soon followed.

“Caiden, Aiden, wait for me!”

Chapter Text

The dream that followed was warm—one where I played with my brothers and father, but soon I found myself in familiar scenery. Again, I was unable to stop the nightmare from reoccurring.

“Rem, you shouldn’t follow us up here. You know that!” Aiden scoffed, crossing his arms.

I tried to make my way up onto the roof where they were. Nothing would stop me—especially the annoying teasing. My two brothers were identical twins, resembling my father’s red eyes and silver hair, which helped their fluffy ears and tails appear more elegant.

“Yeah, a luma like you shouldn’t do what we do!” Caden taunted me, unknowingly pushing me even further.

“I’ll do as I please!” I growled from where I was, trying to climb up the stupid pole they used.

It was unfair how they were both Lycans. Their strength and agility surpassed mine, even though we came from the same parents.

Wolves! Their fluffy tails and ears are also illegal! Why do I only have a tail?!

Even though it was difficult, I made enough progress that Caden finally helped me get to where they were.

“Not bad for a luma.” He grinned.

I huffed for air, “You could’ve helped me from the start!”

It was like looking in the mirror when they faced each other—the only identical twins from our quad.

“I have a name, Cady.” I pouted, glaring at the wolf, who chuckled before scuffing up my hair.

He was a bully, even though I knew he wanted to push me to see if I could do it. Though Aiden was bothered by the fact I was there. He was more worried about what would happen if something happened to me.

Mom and Dad always told them to limit me as I wasn’t a full Lycan like them, which was something my careful brother always did. I rarely listened to his worries, though.

“Dad will yell at us if something happens to you!” Aiden tried to make me go back down, triggering me to curl my lips downward before sticking my tongue out at him.

“No! I’ll be fine!” I huffed, getting up to the tiles.

Aiden rolled his eyes, “Famous last words.”

“Shut up! You two aren’t supposed to be here either!” I added for them both to look at me like a tattletale, but I was no snitch!

“The maid’s such a bore that we wanted to explore. Oh, that rhymed!” Caden smirked, walking past me and towards his brother, who shook his head.

“But with you’ll only slow us down like always,” Aiden complained, waving his hands.

As if I’ll go away with that! Stupid!

Usually, when we were out, Dad would ensure I would keep up with them. I always rode on his back while they ran through the woods. The wind in my hair felt amazing, but sadly, I couldn’t shift into my wolf form.

Sometimes, the lumas couldn’t shift because their human side was more potent than that of the Lycan, which appeared to be my case. I didn’t even have fluffy ears, just the tail. At the same time, my actual ears were pointy rather than the normal round ones humans had.

I would get confused for a peredhil, a half-elf, which usually would happen if I ever hid my tail inside my clothes.

“I won’t!” I huffed, trying to keep up with the two.

From the roof, I could see the whole manor grounds. The rose garden was Vera’s favorite place to hang out, as there was a small gazebo where she could sit to read her books. Mom often sat there in her free days, enjoying their time together.

The manor was a luxury as we never needed anything or lacked experience. Dad was the one who always took us out of the Silver Fang Manor, which, much to its name, had a white decorative theme. Our grandfather built it before he died in the fall of Silverant, our home.

There were no traces of the horror that occurred more than thirty years ago, though. The twins and I loved anywhere we could get our robust energy out.

The dirtier we get, the better it is!

Part of me felt terrible for leaving Vera behind every time we went out, but she never wanted to come with us. Unlike us, her human part dominated, leaving her without any of the features our brothers and I had.

She always preferred to be surrounded by literature instead of the wilderness.

Who would like to stare at a book all day? Bah! Such a waste of time!

For me, the adventure was better than anything else. Whenever Aunty Amelia attempted to dress me in dresses, I felt out of place. Although Vera loved them, leaving me to wish I could rip them off me.

For being born as quadruplets, we were all different from one another. Our quad was composed of identical and fraternal twins, yet each had unique perks. Aiden was always serious and had a dash of daring, while Vera was elegant. Caden was a carefree spirit who could usually be seen lounging the day away.

I’m the youngest of us, but only by a few minutes! I’m also the best one of all of us! What are my qualities… Uh… Well, I’m the suborn of the bunch. Once I set my mind to something, there is nothing that’s going to stop me!

Aiden and Caden, even though they loved to adventure like me, weren’t keen on getting dirty like I was. We could hear the maid call for us, which caused us to snicker on top of the blue tiles on the roof.

“She’ll never think of finding us here.” Aiden cackled while standing near the edge of the road, watching out for the unsuspecting maid.

Caden relaxed by lying down to sunbathe when I made my way to our lookout, wanting to see what he was gazing at.

“Rem... you shouldn’t be here.” He scowled at me.

Dad scolded them the last time I broke a bone, but he wasn’t like this because he thought of me as a burden. He acted like this because he cared about me, but I considered him annoying and mean.

“I’ll be fine!” I puffed myself up and placed my hands on my hips.

Just how many times will it take for him to believe me? Bah. Annoying!

“Right...” he trailed off, shrugging.

He stared at me with his crimson eyes, leaving me growling in response.

“Ah, let her be. She’ll be okay.” Caden tried to downplay that I was there, wanting peace instead of bickering.

Aiden grumbled before going towards him, scowling. The moment he left, I noticed an orb next to me. My eyes sparkled as the sphere danced around me. It was the first time I had ever seen anything like it.

The way it shimmered reminded me of a…

A fairy, maybe? But don’t those live in the elf lands? Ah... I must be lucky to see one so close to Silverant!

A hum left my lips, enjoying the orb’s presence. At this point, I still couldn’t hear their voices, only experiencing the hues of colors for myself. I found myself enchanted by this blue orb floating around me.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, but if Dad comes later to yell at me. I’ll rat you out as the source who let her stay here.” Aiden pouted.

The reason he was so bossy was that he was the eldest. Caden came after him, while Vera was the second youngest of our group.

“Whatever.” Caden shrugged, enjoying the sunlight on his skin.

Aiden took another step towards the lazy brother when I finally broke through my awe.

“Do you guys see this?” I asked.

Both ignored what had come from my mouth, continuing to bicker behind me. I reached for the sphere, only for another to appear next to it, triggering me to pull my hand away. Before I knew it, they surrounded me.

Unsure of what they were, I began to take steps back as more of them appeared. When my brothers noticed what was happening, it was too late.

“Rem!” Caden, who had sat up because of Aiden’s bickering, shouted at me.

He saw me dangerously close to the edge. When I heard his voice, I spun to face him, only to lose my footing, triggering them both to bolt to me, but I fell out of their grasp and into the floor below.

Ah… What… Why are you two gazing at me like that? Everything will be—

The moment I hit the ground, I jolted awake, gasping for air.

Chapter Text

When I jolted awake, my body felt like something wanted to take over. I quickly covered my mouth, remembering where I was. It had been a while since I had that dream. Worried that someone might have heard me squeal again, I glanced around through the little peephole.

Luckily, no one was around.

Bathroom break? Or dinner?

Taking my chance to escape, I hopped out of the barrel, tumbling onto the floor. My legs were killing me after being cooped up there for hours. While I struggled to get off the ground, the surrounding ghosts laughed because I could barely walk.

They’re such little jerks…

Pushing the urge to grumble at them, I crawled towards the tent's opening. I saw everyone sitting by a campfire in the distance, enjoying a meal. Vera, Caden, and Aiden sat there, unaware I was so close to them.

Yet Mom and Dad were missing from the huddle they were having. With brief hesitation, I tried to sneak around the camp to enter the howling forest. However, it wouldn’t take long before I ran into a complication.

After all, there’s no such thing as smooth sailing for someone like me.

The moment a black cat, Shade, my mom’s familiar, crossed my path, my heart dropped, especially when her little blue eyes stared at me. I froze in place when she tilted her head.

You’re probably wondering what I’m doing here when I’m supposed to be home!

Though if Shade was here, then...

Oh no!

Before I knew what I was doing, I picked her up without hesitation, running with her into a hiding spot near some crates. Covering her mouth, I hoped she wouldn’t give me away as my parents came out of the tent nearby.

Crap! Crap! I’m so screwed!

I broke into a cold sweat, shivering where I thought when I heard their voices.

“Lily... Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll be fine.” Dad, a silver-haired Lycan, assured Mom, a powerful human witch.

The moment I heard his voice, my poor heart stopped.

I’m doomed. Game over! You’re too close!

“I can’t be as optimistic as you, Fenris.” Mom sighed, not sure of what was to come.

Her beautiful blue eyes gazed down at the floor as Dad quickly picked them up and back to meet with his crimson gaze.

“Look, with Vera’s spell, we should be able to put Alijah away once and for all. After that, we’ll go back home together, and Rem’s waiting for us back home to be victorious, too.” He nuzzled his nose into Mom’s neck.

She sighed yet again, gripping his arms. If only they knew I was right here listening to them. Sadly, it didn’t help that the little feline could have given me up any minute, too.

Please... don’t do that, Shade!!!

“I know it is, but I don’t know. Something feels weird. Maybe we shouldn’t have left Rem back home. Perhaps that’s what’s wrong with me. Her birthday’s today, too, and here we are with the others, and she is missing.” Mom shook her head.

Unlike her, Dad was sure that was the right decision, though.

“There’s no way I am bringing her near that psycho. We don’t need two complications. As much as I hate saying that, this will be a battlefield if he doesn’t see reason.” Dad noted.

Ouch... I’m not a complication... but the solution. Get that right, at least!

There were so many things I wanted to say but couldn’t.

“I know. I don’t want her anywhere here either, but still, it’s hard for me to see them and not her. Not after almost losing her twice.” Mom winced as her voice broke

Ah... That’s right…

In response, Dad hugged her tightly.

“Hey, Lily, I miss her too. Caden and Aiden do, too. They say it’s a little too quiet without her around. Vera, though…” Dad chuckled, making Mom smile.

“She says it’s the perfect gift for her birthday. The getaway she needed from her sister.” Mom giggled.

Dad seemed pleased to have successfully cheered her up.

I swear I’m not that bad. Maybe a little loud and explosive, but that can be good, too!

“We’ll get her a little something when we get back. I hope Amelia isn’t having a hard time with Rem, though. I know she was dead set on coming here with us. Maybe we should call them.” He suggested, pulling away from her brown locks to look at his phone.

Mom glanced around, noticing her familiar was missing.

“Wait, where did Shade go?” she asked, looking around for the little cat.

She received no response, leaving me to wonder why the feline hadn’t given me out. She could have done it anytime since they shared a telepathic connection.

“Uh, well, perhaps she’s out for a stroll. I think she wanted to avoid Ruzgard for today. For some reason, those two are oil and water.” Dad assured her.

“Shade?” Mom called again for her before turning back to him.

“She rarely leaves me alone like this. Something isn’t right.” Mom grabbed onto her arms, unaware her familiar was in her youngest daughter’s hands.

The way I was holding Shade somewhat annoyed her, though. It was like having a plushy while hovering my hand over her mouth like that would stop the telepathic connection between Mom and her.

“I’m sure she’ll find you soon,” Dad tried to keep Mom with him.

Luckily, she could never resist him for long before she gave in to him.

Shade’s indestructible while in this mortal realm. So, there’s nothing to worry about.

“If you say so.” She smiled.

A soft hum left Dad as he leaned towards her.

Now, one would think this was adorable. What wouldn’t I give to have someone like Dad for myself? They have been together for thirty-four years. Wow, that sounds like a lot, but it isn’t charming to see for me.

Sadly, I had no one like that since being a luma made it so people wouldn’t want to courtship me. No, they preferred my sister over me, but that didn’t mean I had no suitors. I was the child of the most powerful witch, and Lycan made me somewhat desirable to some, but I wasn’t interested in them.

Nope... All those suitors aren’t appealing to me.

My heart was taken from that moment, I…

I... Wait, that doesn’t matter. It’s all one-sided, anyway!

What did matter was that Vera had more boys after her from every race that I could count, but only one ever got close to winning that icy heart of hers—a sun elf named Felix, Amara’s brother, came close.

She was the one who helped me come into this world along with my siblings.

Well, back when I almost killed my mom, she managed to save us both.

From what I heard, Felix was also at the camp to fight the evil. My brother Aiden had a crush on Sophie, who was Liam’s and Melody’s daughter.

Yep, my weirdo of an older brother is in love with a cousin since Melody is Dad’s half-sister.

However, the close relation made that pairing sought after by the elders of the wolf pack.

All those old folk talk about is purifying the bloodline. Bah, they even wanted to marry me off to the first Lycan who wanted me. Thankfully, Dad stopped that before it started.

Caden was another troubled child for the elders of our pack, as he was a free soul, much like me.

At least I seek to be free… Just because my current love is a lost cause. Anyways!

Sophie was also there with Aunty Melody and Uncle Liam, who were probably celebrating our birthday with my other siblings at the campfire.

“In the meantime, how about you and me...” Dad began, gripping her hips before tugging her closer.

My eyes twitched, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Hearing that from my parents made me so uncomfortable that I shivered where I stood.

It's not like nasty gross! But it is a weird type of gross, which is the problem because I’m their kid and hear everything! I don’t need to witness this my entire life!

Luckily, they retreated again into their tent, allowing me to sneak by and into the edge of the Hollowing forest with Shade in my arms.

Chapter Text

At this point, even as we crept into the forest, I couldn’t let go of Shade, even though she could’ve betrayed me from the start. However, once I was far enough from everyone, Shade sunk her teeth into my hand in one big chomp, triggering me to yelp in pain before letting her go free.

Grabbing my bleeding hand, I got teary eyes, slowly glancing at the cat.

“Ow! Why bite me?!” I whined, holding onto my injured hand.

There was no need for you to hurt me, and you went deep, too!

It stung, which caused any little movement to make me wince.

Ouch...

“Hmph... Brats like you heal fast.” Shade huffed, licking her fur like she hadn’t done anything wrong.

She was right about my healing ability, though. It was faster than a normal human but slower than a purebred Lycan. Before I let out another complaint, she got straight to the point.

“Why are you here, Rem? Aren’t you a little far from home?” She glared at me, triggering those blue eyes of hers to shimmer.

I broke into a cold sweat.

At any minute, you can alert Mom I’m here. Crap, how can I how can I prevent that? Ah... There is no way!

In a split second, everything slowed down as my heart left the building, and every fiber of my being told me to make a break for it. Sadly, if I did, Dad, Caden, or Aiden would find me seconds after she ratted me out.

“Uh, w-why n-not g-give m-me up i-if y-you k-knew t-that a-already?!” I stuttered at every word, eyes darting around to find an escape, but she was immortal; there wasn’t a single thing I could do to delay her.

Shade was always pure evil when she wanted to be, but she was also cuddly, even in her scary form. She was presumed to be a goddess from a realm known as the soul cairn, where my mother’s powers originated.

It was the source of my sister’s magic and my own, but mine was…

“Ah, I found it interesting that you, of all people, sneaked around uncaught. Well, mostly, but I just happened to you by luck. I would’ve thought Caden and Aiden would’ve sniffed you out. Those boys are obsessive towards you.” Shade smirked.

Ah… those two are… No focus! This cat thrives in chaos! That’s my way in!

She always enjoyed the turmoil that I provoked in our family, and probably the only reason she wasn’t letting Mom know I was there was that she wanted to see what trouble I could get myself into.

If you were a god in your past life, you would have been the goddess of tricksters.

“Please, don’t give me in,” I mumbled, still holding my hand.

Shade licked her lips, circling me as if she were inspecting me. I wore a brown wig and brown fake eyes to keep myself unrecognizable. However, I couldn’t hide from my family.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Shade questioned.

I stood my ground against her.

“Because this is my only chance at freedom! I want it, and I need it!” I declared, facing her head-on.

She broke out laughing, which almost made me tear up even more.

You don’t have to be so mean!

“Hm… Do you think Alijah will give you freedom? Is this that stupid little plan you told Lily about, but she refused?” Shade jabbed me in the heart before ripping it up, enjoying my predicament while I crumbled in defeat.

This isn’t stupid. It really isn’t. If anything, my plan’s brilliant. We won’t have to kill or send you away if it works. Not that I want you dead. No… I want you to…

“Vera helped me perfect it! Please just give me a chance!” I pleaded, dropping to my knees before closing my eyes.

After Mom told us about Alijah, the boys or Vera didn’t care enough to save him, but something resonated with me. It felt like I could help heal his tormented heart; possibly, I was the only one who could.

I must be. It just has to be. Otherwise why…

“Oh, silly child, you think your delusions will work?” she continued, shooting knives into my heart.

Delusions? Is that what everyone thinks about what I want to do? Fuck that, I’ll make you see my illusions will save everyone! Including the man who has suffered so much already.

For thousands of years, Alijah had only known pain, yet he was painted as an evil source, nothing more. It must’ve been excruciating for him.

You… must feel so alone right now.

“It’ll work,” I assured her.

My determination didn’t impress her as she snickered, slamming her tail on the ground.

“What if it fails?” Shade relentlessly attacked my resolve.

She was probably hoping I would see the errors of my ways, but I would never back down from doing what I thought was right. After all, I was his only hope. I was the only one who didn’t sentence him to death.

No, you can’t die! I won’t allow it!

“If it fails, then I die and end up getting possessed, which will end with me killing Alijah. It’s a winning situation for everyone.” I grumbled, hands shaking.

That’s… the last thing I want.

Shade snickered before climbing onto my shoulder. “You’re missing the fact that you won’t just kill him.”

I pushed her off me, stomping a few steps away from her.

“That’s just a minor detail. Mom and Dad are here; they’ll stop me easily.” I assured her, shifting my eyes toward the forest beside me.

Something… is waiting for me. I know it is.

“Child, you aren’t very smart. Are you?” she pointed out like another knife to my heart.

By this time, my hand had already stopped bleeding, even though my heart surely wouldn’t stop soon. She was right. This could all go chaotic in the blink of an eye. Alijah could kill me, which would end with me getting possessed by a random god—one who may or may not be hell-bent on destroying this world.

Then it’ll be a good game world!

I already knew that. Even so, I had to try. Something pulled me towards the dreaded wolf, Alijah, and hopefully, I needed to be there before everyone else found him.

“I may not be the smartest, but I have a chance and must take it. Please Shade... I’m begging you. Let me go.” I begged, dropping onto my hands. “Please!”

“Hm... My other half will hang me if she finds out I saw you,” Shade mumbled.

I couldn’t let her backtrack.

“Then don’t tell her!” I gripped the grass, feeling like my heart was about to be torn.

I didn’t know if it was the desperation in my eyes, but instead of continuing to delay me. She shook her head before slowly gazing towards the side.

“Are you certain this is what you want?” she asked in one last attempt to sway me from my current course.

Unable to stop, my tail wagged under my clothes as I gazed at her hopefully.

“Yes!” I assured her.

“Fine... I’ll let you go this once, but if I catch you again, or if you try to kill me while possessed. I won’t go easy on you.” Shade huffed.

I grabbed her in my arms before snuggling her, much to her displeasure.

“Yes! I love you!” I professed my love for her, only for her to push my face away with her little paws when I tried to kiss her.

After many failed attempts to do so successfully, I felt something tug my heart more profoundly into the forest again.

You… I… need to go.

Noticing her chance to escape my grip, she pulled herself out of my hands, running a couple of steps away.

“May the strings of fate guide you, little wolf.” Shade bowed, watching me stare at the forest entrance.

My heart raced when I took a simple step towards my destiny, though the ghost following me all along ruined it.

Aw... that was touching. It commented, breaking me right there.

They had been making snarky comments the entire time, which was the last straw. I hated witch ghosts the most, as the sass wouldn’t end.

“Fuck! Would you all shut up already?!” I snapped.

Shade glanced back at me, shaking her head, “How no one caught you is beyond me. Then again, fate is always a fickle thing.”

Wasting no more time, I closed my eyes to catch my nerves before bolting. The deeper I went into the dark green forest, the more I felt something tug at me. With a gust of wind, howls began to hide my footsteps as everyone felt lighter and the last.

Please, be there!

Chapter Text

The deeper I went into the dark green forest, the more ghosts appeared. The howling winds became more robust, too, almost drowning out the voices of the dead, leaving me to bask in the melody it produced. It was like the random wolf chorus; sometimes Silverant broke out during the full moons.

When my brothers were pups, they could barely handle the stimuli before joining.

Ah… Those two can be cute if they want to be.

To ignore the plague of spirits, I put on my headphones and blast music to drown out their commentary, which got rowdier thanks to the gusts. I was faster and more robust than a human but significantly weaker than a Lycan. Dad had trained me all my life to control my strength, but that didn’t make me safe enough to be in public.

My father’s name is Fenris, a blood moon lycan, a variant of other lycans.

Although the title of being the first belonged to someone else, blood moons caused this phenomenon, but Dad wasn’t the true first of his kind. No, that belonged to the mad Lycan everyone was trying to stop.

The one I had a destined meeting with. Thanks to my training, I could handle myself somewhat. My brothers, who were like Dad, beat me terribly in combat. However, after the accident, they all went softer on me.

Aiden was even more overbearing, and Caden, who usually pushed me forward, also became overprotective of me.

I just need to prove to them that I’m not dangerous, can make my own decisions, and deserve to be heard!

After running for a while, I found myself in a clearing near a lake in the middle of the forest.

Crap… Did I take a wrong turn? Mom said Alijah would probably appear back in that temple we were born in, but why did this feeling take me here instead?

Sadly, it was too dark for me to try and find myself in it. Even though the moon shined over the scenery that faced me, it was eerie to gaze at, especially with all the shimmering robs floating around.

Ah… Just how many died here…

Kneeling by the lake, I washed my hands in its water, revealing that the wound Shade had inflicted was gone. It was like it had never happened. However, I was out of breath from all the running. My stamina wasn’t the same as a Lycan, but it would recover soon enough.

Thanks to my diluted blood, I couldn’t shift to my beast form at will.

Well, I can’t shift at all consciously. So, I can’t find you by scent. Eh… What can I do?

Needing a quick rest, I lay against an old tree after finally relieving myself.

I never thought I’d be so glad to empty my bladder.

More orbs gathered around me, triggering me to blast my music to drown the stupid ghosts that threatened my sanity. The accident that allowed me to hear them finally happened because I was awakening to my magic.

I am a late bloomer, but heck, what a way to start.

Mom tried to find a way for me not to hear them, but Dad was the one who gave me the device that saved me from their constant nagging. I usually spent most of the day with my headphones on, only taking them off when someone wanted to speak with me.

Uncle Ben, another silver Lycan like Dad, possessed the typical wolf trait of amber eyes. He and his girlfriend, Tania, a vampire beauty with black hair and red eyes, would take me to get different music to listen to when they were available.

Yeah, it was rare for me to leave the Silver Manor, but what can I do? I did kill two people by accident when I went berserk. I can’t remember anything about it, but it did happen.

This was rare, though, as Tania traveled constantly. Last year, for my birthday, Dad gifted me a solar-powered headset and MP3 made by Sun Elves so I could always have them, even if the power went out, which usually happened whenever shadow beasts (demons) attacked.

They were creatures from the soul cairn, much like Shade, but the ones that randomly popped around our world were of lower ranking. These beasts came from the same source as Vera’s, Mom’s, and my magical power.

After the events that led to my birth, the realm of the dead gods, Soul Cairn, was merged into our world. This allowed them to spawn into our world at random times and places. Each time they did, their energy caused a power outage while carnage ensued.

It was similar to what an electrical, magnetic pulse can do to electricity humans love to rely on. However, in this case, it caused a malfunction in all our magical objects, including our power. That wasn’t the only worry, as these beasts were ruthless to whoever they found in their path.

The only saving grace was that these encounters were timed battles of endurance. A beast couldn’t be in our world for long without a summoner, which helped us escape ruin most of the time.

Shade and Ruzgard were the only two familiars from that realm that existed without fading. They used to be residents of the soul cairn themselves before being bound to their summoners. After a brief rest, my stamina was replenished, and the music consumed me.

Anything with jazz usually made me break out dancing. With the crescent moon out and shining up above, I couldn’t help but bust out some moves.

I’m alone out here, so why not?

Dancing was a hobby for me—a perfect way to work out my energy while being cooped up, thanks to my condition. I closed my eyes before dancing the night away, forgetting why I was there in the first place.

Ah… when was the last time I danced like this? It’s always so freeing.

This was one thing I could do that wouldn’t be taken away from me.

It’s just me doing my thing.

My peaceful place, even though I was in a crazy forest. While I danced the night away, someone grabbed my headset from my head, suddenly interrupting me from my grove.

Crap! It can’t be!

For a moment, I thought it was Dad, or maybe one of my brothers, who had caught on to me. There was no way anyone else would have gotten there so fast.

Shade, you betrayer!

I almost pouted for a moment before…

“What the fuck is this?” A stranger’s voice said from behind.

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

My heart stopped upon feeling those words rumble in my eardrums. It wasn’t Dad or my brothers, but someone I knew well.

Girl, I tried to warn you. One ghost sassed at me.

I was frozen in place, unable to turn. This was the moment I had been waiting for, yet I couldn’t move fast enough.

Why am I… hesitating?

You’re so screwed. Another one followed.

I could picture their expressions of amusement even without seeing their faces. I slowly turned around to face the stranger—one in a picture in my mom’s workshop. She had drawn the mad lycan once, long ago, yet the resemblance was uncanny.

Mom… You really are good at remembering details.

The only thing her drawing couldn’t capture was his beauty, which was incomparable to the real thing. The Lycan that stood in front of me hadn’t aged a day even though he had been thousands of years in.

The last time he was in this world was twenty years ago before Mom sent him away again. His fiery crimson eyes scrunched, inspecting the weird device that created music. It mystified him since he probably had never seen one like it before.

His black hair was silky smooth under the moonlight, along with his sole braid that reached his waist. The way the moon shined off his fair skin left me in awe and allowed me to see a small mole by his right eye.

A wolf I had only seen in my dreams stood before me. Dropping the headset on the ground, Alijah glanced back at me, his lips curled downward and his eyes twitching. However, when his gaze met mine, lightning struck me right where I stood.

My heart raced, not out of fear, but something else, as every fiber of my being knew this man was my fated one.

Ah… you really are my…

Unable to utter a single word, I could only stare in utter awe at the majestic wolf.

Your voice, your appearance… It’s all the same as every one of my fantasies with you. Ah… I am so screwed! You’re so much more than I thought you’d be!

Before I could say a thing, his expression changed when he flashed his fangs at me. By the time I realized it, he pinned me against a tree behind us as he held me up from my throat.

“Girl... where... No, when am I?” Alijah tightened his grip on my neck.

I struggled to grab his hands as the air became hard to breathe. He was too strong and way too rough, too.

Why wasn’t I paying attention? I had only one shot, and I lost it! Good fucking job, Rem!

Although I had previously been randomly looking, I had no way of knowing if I would find him.

Damn it! I should’ve been paying attention instead of dancing!

“I... c-can’t... speak... l-like this!” I tried to sway the angered Lycan to let me go.

He growled in response to my answer, but I was right. Though there was no doubt in my mind, he thought of ripping my head off before he approached me. Luckily, he needed the potential information only I could offer.

“Fine, speak luma.” Alijah, let me go, allowing me to gasp for air before coughing.

How do you… Ah, my scent probably gives me away!

Reaching for my neck, I winced, knowing I would have a bruise for a week from the strength he used if I were an average human. He wasn’t a gentle soul.

You’re nothing like how you behaved in my dreams. However, it didn’t start like that either. You were…

Catching my breath, I readied myself for what came next.

“It has been twenty years since you were last seen,” I informed, grabbing my secret weapon, a shadowy neck collar I had made especially for him, from my pouch while pretending to catch my breath.

“Has it really been twenty years?” Alijah growled. “Fuck, I’m going to kill him. I’m sure he made her do this.”

I didn’t know what he was saying or why, but I was set to do what I needed to succeed.

“Hah... that sounds like an excellent plan.” I tried to butter him up a bit.

He gazed at me, narrowing his eyes before raising his eyebrows.

Yes! My disguise is working! It seems you haven’t recognized me as the silver blood you hate, or I’d be a pancake right now!

“Who are you, and why are you here?” he questioned with a soft smirk.

Turning to him, I grinned in response to his question, triggering his eyes to fly open as I slowly approached him.

“Well... I’m here because fates want me here.” I started as he scoffed, prompting me to frown.

“What?” He shook his head.

I probably appeared like a crazy Luma to him, yet I didn’t care. All I needed was a second to get the best of him.

“And I’m also your worst nightmare, I guess,” I mumbled rapidly.

He brought his face closer to mine, his ears somewhat perked up.

Mom’s right. You’re always full of yourself and think you are invincible. Hm… What can a little luma like me do to a big bad wolf like you?

“What did you say?” Alijah snickered, seeing me like a little luma who knew no better.

I took the opportunity. He was so close to jabbing my hand up to his neck. The collar snapped automatically upon contact with his skin. In an instant, it sunk into his body, leaving behind a black mark on his neck where it once was.

Instinctively, he grabbed onto it as pulses rushed through him. My neck also had the same marking. I had already been wearing mine since I got into the airship.

“Sorry, but this is the only way.” I apologized, feeling all the adrenaline rush that came from pissing off the most dangerous man alive.

“What the fuck did you do, wench?” Alijah snapped, gripping his neck to find nothing to hold onto.

Unfortunately for this wolf, what I did was irreversible unless I wanted to.

Well, with Vera’s help, too. Without her, I can’t eliminate it, but that’s just a minor detail!

My magic could even affect a red-eye Lycan with our combined efforts since I was half-one. Wolves were usually magic-proof unless they overwhelmed their resistances with immense power, but mine worked differently.

I had the blood moon’s essence within me, mutating the magic from the soul cairn into something else. Thanks to that, it would even affect the strongest Lycans, which was why my brothers were sometimes wary of me.

However, thanks to that change, mine was unstable compared to my mom’s or sister’s power.

I guess we can call it a symbiotic relationship.

“Just a little thing to bind you to me.” I tried to play it off as a no big deal.

Sadly, Alijah wasn’t following my flow. Instead, he radiated a crimson aura brighter than I had ever seen. Even in all these years, his power still exceeded Dad’s.

Crap, Mom, you were right to worry. Your plan to subdue this wolf would’ve certainly failed. You all would’ve died if I hadn’t done this! If it works… No, it’ll work!

“Ah! It was a mistake to let you live. I am going to kill you now.” His eyes shimmered brightly as he launched at me.

This is the moment of truth—I’ll see if it works or die at your hands!

“Sit down!” I ordered, causing the bond to resonate within us.

Instantly, he was on the ground, on his bum, eyes wide open, visibly shocked at what had happened. My first soul-binding spell ever worked. The joy that gushed out of me was hard to hold on to as I fist bumped towards the sky.

“Heck, yeah!” I raved about my victory.

“What the actual fuck?” Alijah muttered, shifting his eyes to see if anyone else had done this.

Aw, you’re sitting down like the good boy I want you to be!  Good... this is amazing!!!

“It works. Woot! It works!” I celebrated by jumping around happily, unable to help myself.

This was much to Alijah’s horror as his pupils dilated and his lips curled downward.

“Crazy fucking luma! What the fuck did you do to me?!” He cursed loudly.

I gazed around, remembering where we were.

Oh crap, right! We don’t have time for this! It won’t be long until they find us!

They already knew he was back thanks to the energy wave his arrival must’ve caused, which meant my family probably was searching the forest for him.

Or perhaps they are waiting for you to come to them. Either way, we have to move!

“Oh, we should really get out of here!” I announced, picking up my headset from the floor and stuffing it in my bag.

Once my hype came down, I could hear the surrounding ghosts warning me about who was coming our way. They spoke about three silver wolves heading in this direction.

No! No! Just no! I didn’t get this far to get caught!

Alijah appeared distressed about something entirely different. In a second, his life was twisted upside down because of me.

“What?!” he spat, “What the fuck is going on?!”

“Alijah, come with me if you want to live!” I declared, reaching my hand to him.

For a moment, he seemed flabbergasted entirely by me. His expression made me wonder what was going on in that chaotic little mind of his, but this was the only choice. I could only hope he would grab onto my hand.

Our freedom and our future depended on his following action.

But knowing your past, will you trust me?

Chapter Text

I reached out my hand to Alijah, who appeared utterly perplexed by what happened to him. If I thought about everything that had happened, I would be too. I mean, a girl randomly popped up and bound him to her with no consent.

Usually, one would wait until marriage for this sort of thing.

But, hey, I have no choice! This is the only way for now.

He probably thought, what the fuck this crazy chick wants with me?

When I only wanted to save this poor wolf from my family and himself. He gazed at me scornfully; my hand couldn’t help but quiver.

Please… I need you to trust me!

There was no doubt in my mind that from how he looked at me, I was some alien in his eyes that turned his world upside down.

I bet you're wondering who can ever say those words to you after all you’ve been through, but I…

I was puny compared to him, but I could be much more if he let me be.

No, I need to be, even if it isn’t with your consent for now!

“Please—” I started, only for him to interrupt me.

“You’re too fucking crazy.” Alijah finally broke a wry smile on his lips.

He seemed somewhat amused by what was happening, which was better than total denial. At least he was quick to pick up his wits. Grabbing my hand, I helped him up from the ground.

“Well, I’m the only one crazy enough to save you,” I mumbled.

He rolled his eyes, “Save me? Is that a funny joke?” the crimson eye Lycan scuffed, shaking his head.

“I need you to listen!” I huffed, triggering him to cross his arms.

“Eh, I’ll play along for now.” He shrugged, prompting me to smile in return.

Progress!

“Good. Well, I need you to shift.” I announced, causing Alijah to tilt his head.

That wasn’t what he expected to come from me.

“Why?” he questioned.

He didn’t know that the entire world was after him. It was funny to see, but it was concerning, too. This man was so strong that he couldn’t see the danger, even if it was right before him.

“Because the moment they catch our scents, they’ll find us. If we don’t go faster than our human legs will go. I’m a luma, and I can’t shift!” I tried to explain.

His expression changed instantly, glaring at me.

Oh? Did I hit a sore spot?

In his defense, most lumas could shift, but it wasn't straightforward in my case—something he didn’t need to know.

For now...

“So, how will you keep up?” he queried, narrowing his eyes at me.

It caused me to smirk.

You’re serious, aren’t you?

The answer was obvious, but not every Lycan liked to be ridden. I suspected he would be one, thanks to his demeanor. Despite that, we had no choice.

Your consent doesn’t matter when our lives are in danger! It should if this were under normal circumstances—well, ones that don’t involve death or entrapment!

“By riding you, duh.” I rolled my eyes, triggering him to flash his fangs at me again.

Alijah crossed his arms as his eyes shimmered brightly.

Uh oh... No... Please don’t do this! We don’t have the time!

Oh, girl! You fight on your hands—a ghost floated by.

I tried to ignore their chatter. Luckily, acting like a crazy person in front of this Lycan wouldn’t help my cause.

“No one has ever ridden me. So that’ll never happen, wench.” Alijah growled, attempting to appear fierce.

All it did was make my eyes roll again. There was always a first, although that made me happy to hear. I would be his first rider, a minor victory.

Chill heart! I can’t be a fangirl right now!

“Well, there’s always a first time! So, do it because if they find us, they’ll kill you or throw you into prison!” I tried to make him understand the urgency.

“Not if I kill them first,” he announced, eyes glowing.

This wolf was so cocky. He could have done so without the bond, but not with it.

Ah... crap.

I had forgotten something important. Vera made it so I would have to take a specific action to solidify the bond. Otherwise, it would only last an hour at best.

Well, this will be awkward, but it should be more straightforward. The bond forces you to listen to me. Think nothing of it. Rem, this is business. Nothing more.

“Look at me, and don’t move for five seconds, Alijah,” I suddenly ordered.

When the black wolf gazed at me, my order froze him in place. With brief hesitation, I grabbed his fur vest, yanking him into a quick, light lips peck. The moment they brushed together, another pulse went through us both.

After five seconds, he drew me away from him, holding onto my shoulders. The look on his face was one of pure bewilderment.

Ah… I wanted it to last a little longer.

My lips burned from the light touch.

“What the actual fuck?” Alijah muttered, shaking his head.

Even if he wished to kill me, he couldn’t, especially since I solidified the bond. This incantation was an idea I got when I saw Mom and Dad call each other’s soul mates.

With it, if you die, so will I. It’ll protect you from my parents, but they won’t…

However, in my case, it was a different matter. Thanks to that, he couldn’t shove me away if there was a potential for me to come to harm.

It’s the perfect plan, but it has its flaws. But even so! It’s going far better than I expected!

It was the only thing I could think about to keep the warmth of his lips from haunting me.

I can’t allow it to show. This has to be a professional relationship.

After all, his heart was closed to everyone but one woman, and I could never be her.

“I’m sorry, but I needed to solidify the bond. With that, I seal it until further notice.” I informed, trying to hide the fact I enjoyed every second his lips were on mine.

He gazed at me the entire time, utterly lost, leaving me feeling bad for him.

You haven’t had a break, have you?

This wolf was thrown into this forest to be met with this mess and now assaulted like this, too. However, that wasn’t my plan. No, Vera made it like that so I wouldn’t be bound for life to anyone. Sadly, it wasn’t like I could ask him nicely for a kiss.

Oh... Whatever, you’ll get over it, eventually. Right? It’s nothing like what others have done to you.

“You may not use your powers unless I say so. So right now, you’re an ordinary Lycan.” I quickly added, triggering those crimson eyes of his to fly open.

“The wench said what?!” Alijah uttered, veins popping from how heated he was.

Oh boy… you’ll blow an aneurysm if you keep going!

This wasn’t a brilliant start. The way he was glaring at me made me sure he would’ve splattered me on the floor if he could.

Vera, it seems you’re always right. I am an annoying bitch.

At least I was stubborn enough to want to keep him alive at all costs while also saving my family.

That isn’t much to ask, right?

“I won’t let you kill anyone here and now that you’re bound to me. So it would be best if you did what I wish.” I clarified.

His expression told me all I needed to know. He desired nothing more than to strangle me where I stood. The hate in his eyes was present and reassuring, but I didn’t care if he loathed me. I only cared if the angered wolf before me made it out alive.

That’s all that matters. You don’t deserve more pain.

“I don’t know how the fuck you bound me to you, but I promise I’ll find a way to kill you, little girl.” He threatened, appearing like a big bad wolf.

I softly nodded, acknowledging my peril at his hands. There was no more time to speak as I could sense them coming for us.

Dad... Aiden... Caden... I’ll protect all of you, along with Alijah. No one is going to die tonight!

I would open the mad Lycan’s heart to this world and perhaps close mine to him before everything was set. After all, once he knew he could see his beloved again, that would fill him with all the joy he needed.

There was no room in his heart for me.

Sometimes, it’s better not to meet the celebrity one has the hots for. Rem, this sucks!

“Okay! I look forward to the day you kill me, but for now, shift! We need to go!” I clapped my hands.

He growled at my command but had little choice but to obey. If we stayed there the way we were, he would be disadvantaged. Fur exploded from his skin as his body morphed into one of a giant black wolf.

Even though I wanted to bask in his new form, there was no time to waste. Quickly, I climbed onto his back before gripping tightly onto his soft hair.

Is there something about you that isn’t amazing? Crap Rem… Be strong.

However, before he took off, I cautioned him about something important, adding a little white lie. "If I die, you’ll forever be stuck as a normal Lycan. So, protect little oh me, Alijah-tan,” I snickered.

Thanks to my connection to the soul cairn, on the day I fell off the roof, it was found that I couldn’t die.

I should’ve been dead when I splattered my brain on the floor, yet I was able to come back. Somehow, I’m still standing here.

Mom explained to me that something healed me, saving me from death’s door, but we didn’t know what it was.

Thanks to that, I’m not an ordinary hybrid, but there’s something even worse.

A growl left his lips when he heard the nickname that came out of my mouth. “Fucking luma!” He huffed, suddenly bolting through the forest and away from the lake.

I had only ever ridden Dad or my brothers before, but this wolf’s silky black fur was softer than theirs in my hands. Alijah was also faster than they ever were. His speed alone could've easily blown me off if I weren’t more robust than the average human.

By the gods, if I could feel this speed with my paws.

That would be... Irrelevant—something I’ll never feel.

All I could do for this black wolf was keep his extraordinary powers in check, not his physical strength. In that, he would always excel no matter what I did. So, I wasn’t accurate when I said he would be a normal Lycan.

No, you’ll always be much more than that.

The only thing stopping me from using his ridiculous strength was that he was bonded with me. I wanted him to be free in this world, not pursued because of the crimes he committed. At this time, he had killed no one.

So, you have a chance to live freely, and I’ll fight for it.

Chapter Text

Alijah's maneuvering through the forest was flawless. In an instant, we were clear of the entire thing and on our way to our adventure. We ran the whole night and most of the morning hours of the following day to ensure we left my family behind in the dust.

We stopped by the edge of a hybrid village because Alijah was exhausted. From a distance, I could see a giant sign named Luxon while the black wolf was heaving behind me. Part of me felt terrible for having him run for so long, but there was little choice.

This was also the first time he had gotten hungry or needed to relieve himself in six thousand years. The sudden urges were an entirely new experience for the grumpy wolf, who cursed under his breath at any chance he had.

Sitting by the outer edge of the village, hidden away from their view, Alijah struggled to get a grip while I scavenged my bag for clothes for him. I had brought some for him, fearing that he would stick out in those ancient rags of his.

Mom’s portrait of you is so accurate.

Grabbing the clothes from my bag, I handed them to him, “You have to change.”

“What? Fuck off.” He huffed, triggering my eyes to twitch before grabbing onto his vest.

“Just take it off!” I growled, tugging on it harder as he tried to get me off him.

It’s already revealing as it is! I can’t have you letting all the females that see you gawk at you!

My temper was flaring, which didn’t help.

Girl... You’re assaulting the poor man. A ghost pointed out, irritating me even more.

Why won’t you shut up? You know nothing! Just leave me alone already!

“Fuck no! I don’t know what's wrong with you!” Alijah tried to push me off him.

I wasn’t relenting on my grip.

Ah... I never explained myself, did I? Maybe if I did, you’d listen to me, right? Right?

“You can’t go into town looking like that! You’ll stick out like a sore thumb!” I tried to make him understand.

He huffed, trying to get me off him. “Back off, wench!”

Even though Alijah appeared uncomfortable with my advances, I wouldn’t give up. I needed him out of those clothes and into the new ones. The last thing I wanted was for these hybrids to single him out and harm him.

This isn’t the Celestelia you remember!

I knew this wolf was no pushover but defenseless because of our bond.

“Then just put the stupid clothes on! I’m not asking for a lot!” I growled, finally pulling off his vest, only to tumble against the tree.

The blow knocked all the wind out of me as I slid onto the floor, pain radiating through my body. Alijah gazed at me, not knowing how to handle me. He was utterly unamused that I had somehow harmed myself even though I was the assailant.

“Oi... You didn’t just knock yourself out, did you?” he asked, approaching me.

My back and neck hurt from the fall I had endured. I probably scratched them against the flaky wood. They would heal quickly, but it didn’t stop them from stinging me.

You deserved that one. Another annoying orb commented, making me lose my cool.

I was just like any other Lycan with my temperament issues. Perhaps even worse…

“Stupid grump of a wolf, if you’d just listen to me!” I snapped, only to end up wincing in pain from the fall.

For a moment, he stopped being the prick he usually was. He bent down to me, seeing if I was alright.

“Here, let me look.” Alijah sighed, reaching to help me.

The change in demeanor caught me off guard. I thought he would call me some profanities instead.

Did you hit your head on something? No, that’s just me. Did I get a concussion, and I’m hearing wrong? Arg... It didn’t matter!

“It’s fine.” I pushed his hands aside, worried he would see my silver hair if he got too close.

If he saw I was a Silver Fang, he would surely make more of a fuss than I wished to have.

After all, you hate us.

When I rejected his help, he stood up, grabbing the clothes I had brought for him.

“Fine...” Alijah sighed, not wanting to continue fighting.

The emptiness of our stomachs was getting to us, leaving little energy to argue with anymore. However, much to the detriment of my heart’s health. This wolf slowly stripped before me, leaving me unable to tear my eyes away from him.

Oh gods, you’re more than I…  No!

A second later, I planted my eyes on the ground to avoid seeing his privates. Seeing his chest was already heart clenching, leaving it pounding madly within my chest.

But... your... No... I won’t survive if I see that!

Yet I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the same as in my dreams.

Surely not! Keep your eyes down, Rem!

“Don’t!” I yelped, covering my eyes.

My heart couldn’t experience him that way in real life. Instead of listening to me, he continued to dress in the clothing I had brought him. I had a crush on this man for the longest time since I saw him in a portrait at Mom’s workshop.

Yes, I fell in love with a picture of you, and that was all you were until now—one I used to walk by occasionally in my waking moments. Then dream of you in all the naughty ways my heart desires you.

However, to see the real him undress in front of me was too much. I had hoped that all my hopes and feelings would end when I met him, but I found myself pulled towards him even more.

What’s wrong with me? You’re cruel and mean, but you aren’t much different from when my dreams started.

This was the beginning of our adventure, and I already felt like I would lose my mind with such a simple act. Somehow, without my help, he figured out how everything went. Even though I imagined what he would be like since I had never seen him, somehow, I picked out his perfect-size clothes.

All that was left to gather were the shoes, and we could get some in the village. Getting up from the ground, I slowly walked over to Alijah before handing him some contacts to hide the color of his eyes.

I also gave him a hat to hide his adorable fluffy ears, one of which had a silver earring. Sadly, in Celestelia, everything that made him a Lycan marked him as a target. We hybrids were known for raiding and trafficking people.

These lands were lawless. I even hid my tail before I got there, but that was for Alijah rather than for others. Although if I got thrilled, it would wag through my pants, as it did with Shade.

After the wolf put on the black hat, which matched his white shirt and black jeans, I grabbed onto his tail before stuffing it inside his pants, much to his annoyance. However, he complained less since the hungrier he got, the less energy he had to make a fuss.

Though we were both famished, I had never felt hunger like this. I took out a vacuum-sealed bag from mine and handed it to him. He could deposit any supplies he wanted from the village stores there.

Once ready to set out, I softly clasped onto the grumpy wolf’s hand, tugging him along.

“I’m not a kid,” Alijah growled.

I stuck my tongue out, refusing to let him go.

“No, you aren’t a child, but this world isn’t the one you remember. So, stay near me. The last thing we need is to be separated!” I informed him, smiling.

Though I knew little of this world, he didn’t need to know that. Not having the energy or the will to argue anymore, he let me lead our way. We traversed the rural town, filled with wooden or clay houses, as the dirt there picked up with each one of our steps.

In our search for a hot meal and a place to rest, I couldn’t help but hum happily. This place was nothing like Silverant, and that excited me.

Finally! I’m free!

Everything in this small place was a rare sight back home, especially the vehicles used to transport things, which were banned. Then again, in Celestelia, everything was legal. On our way in, I noticed a hovercraft on the side of the town. Those were the worst for pollution standards, yet they were great for traversing the desert lands of this continent.

Whoever had that must’ve been a gang or something along those lines, and we had to avoid them. Vehicles and hovercraft were especially illegal in Silverant or any big city. The legal way to transport anyone was by airship or horse.

Everything was mechanical back home, but things like cars and crafts weren’t permitted—something about nature elves fearing their pollution. They already had a fit when Dad made airships legal for commercial use.

It wasn’t like they ran on gas, but the noise pollution was also a big concern for the elves. Of course, to keep the peace, every race had to keep to those mandates. Much like vampires couldn’t drink blood without the consent of the other party.

Thanks to the council’s guidance, every race had limitations, but that went out the window for this continent.

Cerberus has no power here, which means we’re safe from Dad but not from what we can find here.

This vehicle mandate applied to everyone outside of Celestelia—all but the Blaze elves, who were engineers. This subclass of elves lived near volcanoes, though, so there was little pollution they could do with those erupting volcanoes. They also needed it to make their precious metal, which required machinery.

Even in the twenty years since my siblings and I were born there, Dad had tried to make relations with the hybrids, but there was too much to mend. It wasn’t like the witches who had only suffered for a couple of thousands of years.

Hybrids only knew pain and nothing else.

It probably will never change—well, not in our lifetimes—and it doesn’t matter to me.

Fortunately, we found a tavern with rooms and meals to get us through the afternoon and night. At daybreak, we would have to keep moving to stay ahead. I knew how Dad worked, and he wouldn’t stop until he found us.

Unlike us, he had the entire Cerberus organization to send after us since it was his peacekeeping force. Thankfully, since he didn’t have power in Celestelia, this prevented him from sending them in full force.

No purebred was welcomed there without starting a civil war. So, this helped us stay ahead of them and placed Alijah in the crossfire of every hybrid that lived in Celestelia. After relieving ourselves in the tavern’s bathrooms, Alijah ordered the first thing with meat on the menu.

Instead of following his example, I ordered something lighter to digest and water for us both. While we waited for the food, I pulled out a digital map I had sniped from Dad’s office. With it in hand, I headed to the bartender to help locate us.

Sadly, I couldn’t use the GPS setting on it because it would’ve alerted my family to our location, so I left my phone behind, too.

No temptations are allowed on this trip! Argh, we have to stay away from cameras, too.

Elven satellites were light-based, meaning we would be fine if they didn’t know where to look or if we had cover. Much to our luck, Celestelia was a big continent. With Alijah’s speed, we hiked from the howling forest and met in the middle of the land of the hybrids.

Crap… if we’re in the middle, then we have to be more careful. Alijah, surely, will… bright unwanted attention.

This was due to how hybrids were treated on the mainland, though trouble always found me, even when I didn’t want it.

Chapter Text

Finding my way back to Alijah, I noticed him with a peredhil girl. It appeared he smitten the half-elf with his appearance. His eyes twitched every time she leaned towards him, yet instead of screaming or yelling profanities, he glared at her, hoping to scare her away.

The invader was lucky this wolf was under the influence of the bond. Celestelia was already around in the era he came from.

So, you must know to be wary of the hybrids in this nation. Right?

However, the moment I got closer, he scowled at me worse than he did her. It froze me momentarily, and I realized he hated me more than the random chick advancing on him.

Ah… that… hurts…

Even though it ached my heart to see the grump gaze at me that way, I slowly approached him as the girl continued to fawn over him. There was no doubt that it ticked him not to be able to chase or kill her off by himself.

“You aren’t from here, right? I would’ve noticed a hybrid like you if you were.” The half-elf suddenly sat next to him, seductively reaching for his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me,” Alijah warned the female peredhil, yanking away from her.

Oh crap… I need to…

Trying not to cause a scene, I stepped in to help him. However, I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of my mouth.

“Honey! What’s the matter? I leave for a few seconds, and you are already trying to get a girl? Hm? Am I not good enough?” I started, catching both off guards.

Alijah’s expression was one to behold. His eyes scrunched up like he had heard something forbidden before shivering where he was. It was godly to see him go through an array of emotions. Though I wished he had those crimson eyes present rather than the blue contacts I had given him.

“Honey?” he mumbled.

The girl sized me up as she wasn’t ready to back down.

“What? You’re his wife?” the annoyed peredhil questioned.

I turned off the map device and placed it on the table.

Oh? It’s time you fuck off, girl.

I pulled no punches this time around. There was no way I’d let this wolf go to someone like her.

“Yeah, we came here for our honeymoon. Sorry, but can you move? You’re in my seat.” I pointed out, placing my hands on my waist and glaring at the intruder.

Alijah broke a smirk on his lips, realizing what I was aiming for. I didn’t know what was going through the grump's head, but it was nothing good. Either way, I had to focus on the girl.

Any closer, she’ll notice you aren’t a hybrid like her.

For a moment, I thought she wouldn’t care, but she...

“Oh... excuse me, I didn’t know he was married.” The girl apologized, getting up from the seat.

Even though I was lying through my teeth, it worked. However, in her eyes, there was something that I didn’t like.

Well, as long as you leave, that’s all that matters. The less of a scene, the better, too. Eyes are gathering around us.

“Yup. That's no problem. Hubby here can sometimes be a handful. He’s so pleasing in the eyes, and I always have difficulty keeping females off him.” I assured her.

She smiled awkwardly, unsure of what to say at my remark.

“Though if you’re married, where are your rings?” the peredhil noted, gazing at my ringless fingers.

Oh crap… Right! The wedding rings! Uh…

It left me speechless for a moment.

Even Mom and Dad have one! Why didn’t I choose my words carefully?!

Instead of remaining quiet while I thought of a way out, Alijah moved.

“Ah, love, forget the chatter and come here. You left me for a little too long there. So much that another almost swept me up.” He smirked playfully, ignoring what the girl asked.

He tapped the seat next to him, leaving me to break in a cold sweat.

Just what are you thinking?!

Sadly, the girl was still around, so I had to continue acting. However, I dug my grave and had to lie on it.

Crap... What did I get myself into? I just wanted to help! Argh, serves me right…

“Yes, I left you too long, didn’t I?” I replied, trying to keep my surprise at his play-along under wraps.

What are you planning, Alijah?

Hesitantly, I sat down next to him. The next moment, he suddenly grabbed me by my waist and tugged me closer to him, which triggered my heart to burst. The warmth from his hands was sinking into my clothes and seeping into my skin.

Ah... don’t... Please have mercy on me!

I was getting jittery, remembering a dream I had with this wolf.

“Yeah... wife. Don’t leave me again like that.” Alijah growled lowly against my ear before turning back to the half-elf, who was surprised to see his reaction to me sitting next to him. “We have a special bond beyond what rings can give us.”

I gulped, trying to steady my heart.

You’re messing with me. I can’t let you win, though. Perhaps I should let you win, but I won’t.

“Very special. We can’t live without each other!” I smiled.

Keep it together! This… This is nothing!

Alijah’s hand went down my inner thigh in response to my words before squeezing it. It caused me to release a slight gasp before I held onto his rogue limb.

You… have no idea how much I desire this attention from you. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but…

The wolf didn’t stop there as he leaned again to my ear before pressing his lips onto it.

“I can’t wait to be alone with you.” He breathed, prompting my stomach to flutter like butterflies were in there.

Ah… I’m doomed, aren’t I?

The girl backed off upon seeing Alijah’s loving wife as I stared at her leave. Luckily, the others' eyes piling on us also returned to their own business, noticing nothing more to see. However, this black wolf wouldn’t let it go as they did.

Instead, he intertwined his hand with mine, staying close to my ear.

Damn it, you’re messing with me to the point; I feel like I’m going to snap. It hurts!

Fortunately, he didn’t know what effect he had on me. He probably thought I would push him away or yell at him and make a scene, causing chaos. There was no doubt he wanted to push me to the limit, but all it did was leave me feeling hollow by the entire thing.

I won’t ever have this, and I don’t want a glimpse of things I won't enjoy.

This represented what it could be if his heart didn’t belong to another.

Why can’t you be a stranger to me? Why do you have to be similar to what I experienced in my dreams? This is so unfair! Alijah, I don’t know if I can fall… out of love if you keep being like this.

“Little Luma, will you treat me like your husband tonight?” He whispered into my ear, allowing his fiery breath to brush my skin.

Ah… I’m…

I took a deep breath to steady myself before glancing at him firmly.

You can never know what I feel for you, that I’m weak to you. If you do, you’d use it without hesitation against me. I have to appear strong. So strong that I’ll be invincible against you. You don’t own my heart!

It was a lie as he owned it from the moment I saw that silly picture of him.

“My name’s Rem,” I informed the grumps, knowing I had never formally introduced myself to him before.

I didn’t know what expression I had on my face, but his eyes opened wide before he loosened his grip on me. Releasing a sigh, I drew away from him before sitting back on the other seat on the opposite side of the table.

Luckily, our meal came towards us quickly after that. The entire time, I avoided his gaze. I didn’t know what to expect from him. Surprisingly, he stayed silent when the server came, placing our food down.

Perhaps he was stunned that a female would turn him down. He was probably the prettiest man I had ever seen. Even his eyelashes were longer than mine. This man’s appearance was illegal, so every girl who saw him couldn’t help but stare at him.

This grumps probably all the girls around his finger when he was back in his time, too. No, that isn’t fair to say about you. Not when, at one point, they were forced on you.

Stings rose in my chest as I shifted my eyes towards the food before us. The moment the server left, he sighed.

“So, I finally have a name to call you by,” Alijah commented, taking much of his meal while I took a chomp off mine.

Argh! This is awkward! Why do I have to feel this affection for this brute of Lycan? All over a picture, too, and those dreams!

I had to be strong if I didn’t want to end up hurt by the end of this adventure.

“Yup,” I agreed, reluctantly glancing at him.

Mom had said he was touchy, but that seemed to be an attempt to get a reaction out of me rather than anything else. Since I denied him one, he moved on with ease. Luckily, nothing else happened before we arrived at the rooms I separated.

Though once there…

The invader was lucky this wolf was under the influence of the bond. Celestelia was already around in the era he came from.

So, you must know to be wary of the hybrids in this nation. Right?

However, the moment I got closer, he scowled at me worse than he did her. It froze me momentarily, and I realized he hated me more than the random chick advancing on him.

Ah… that… hurts…

Even though it ached my heart to see the grump gaze at me that way, I slowly approached him as the girl continued to fawn over him. There was no doubt that it ticked him not to be able to chase or kill her off by himself.

“You aren’t from here, right? I would’ve noticed a hybrid like you if you were.” The half-elf suddenly sat next to him, seductively reaching for his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me,” Alijah warned the female peredhil, yanking away from her.

Oh crap… I need to…

Trying not to cause a scene, I stepped in to help him. However, I couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of my mouth.

“Honey! What’s the matter? I leave for a few seconds, and you are already trying to get a girl? Hm? Am I not good enough?” I started, catching both off guards.

Alijah’s expression was one to behold. His eyes scrunched up like he had heard something forbidden before shivering where he was. It was godly to see him go through an array of emotions. Though I wished he had those crimson eyes present rather than the blue contacts I had given him.

“Honey?” he mumbled.

The girl sized me up as she wasn’t ready to back down.

“What? You’re his wife?” the annoyed peredhil questioned.

I turned off the map device and placed it on the table.

Oh? It’s time you fuck off, girl.

I pulled no punches this time around. There was no way I’d let this wolf go to someone like her.

“Yeah, we came here for our honeymoon. Sorry, but can you move? You’re in my seat.” I pointed out, placing my hands on my waist and glaring at the intruder.

Alijah broke a smirk on his lips, realizing what I was aiming for. I didn’t know what was going through the grump's head, but it was nothing good. Either way, I had to focus on the girl.

Any closer, she’ll notice you aren’t a hybrid like her.

For a moment, I thought she wouldn’t care, but she...

“Oh... excuse me, I didn’t know he was married.” The girl apologized, getting up from the seat.

Even though I was lying through my teeth, it worked. However, in her eyes, there was something that I didn’t like.

Well, as long as you leave, that’s all that matters. The less of a scene, the better, too. Eyes are gathering around us.

“Yup. That's no problem. Hubby here can sometimes be a handful. He’s so pleasing in the eyes, and I always have difficulty keeping females off him.” I assured her.

She smiled awkwardly, unsure of what to say at my remark.

“Though if you’re married, where are your rings?” the peredhil noted, gazing at my ringless fingers.

Oh crap… Right! The wedding rings! Uh…

It left me speechless for a moment.

Even Mom and Dad have one! Why didn’t I choose my words carefully?!

Instead of remaining quiet while I thought of a way out of this mess, Alijah moved.

“Ah, love, forget the chatter and come here. You left me for a little too long there. So much that another almost swept me up.” He smirked playfully, ignoring what the girl asked.

He tapped the seat next to him, leaving me to break in a cold sweat.

Just what are you thinking?!

Sadly, the girl was still around, so I had to continue acting. However, I dug my grave and had to lie on it.

Crap... What did I get myself into? I just wanted to help! Argh, serves me right…

“Yes, I left you too long, didn’t I?” I replied, trying to keep my surprise at his play-along under wraps.

What are you planning, Alijah?

Hesitantly, I sat down next to him. The next moment, he suddenly grabbed me by my waist and tugged me closer to him, which triggered my heart to burst. The warmth from his hands was sinking into my clothes and seeping into my skin.

Ah... don’t... Please have mercy on me!

I was getting jittery, remembering a dream I had with this wolf.

“Yeah... wife. Don’t leave me again like that.” Alijah growled lowly against my ear before turning back to the half-elf, who was surprised to see his reaction to me sitting next to him. “We have a special bond beyond what rings can give us.”

I gulped, trying to steady my heart.

You’re messing with me. I can’t let you win, though. Perhaps I should let you win, but I won’t.

“Very special. We can’t live without each other!” I smiled.

Keep it together! This… This is nothing!

Alijah’s hand went down my inner thigh in response to my words before squeezing it. It caused me to release a slight gasp before I held onto his rogue limb.

You… have no idea how much I desire this attention from you. I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but…

The wolf didn’t stop there as he leaned again to my ear before pressing his lips onto it.

“I can’t wait to be alone with you.” He breathed, prompting my stomach to flutter like butterflies were in there.

Ah… I’m doomed, aren’t I?

The girl backed off upon seeing Alijah’s loving wife as I stared at her leave. Luckily, the others' eyes piling on us also returned to their own business, noticing nothing more to see. However, this black wolf wouldn’t let it go as they did.

Instead, he intertwined his hand with mine, staying close to my ear.

Damn it, you’re messing with me to the point; I feel like I’m going to snap. It hurts!

Fortunately, he didn’t know what effect he had on me. He probably thought I would push him away or yell at him and make a scene, causing chaos. There was no doubt he wanted to push me to the limit, but all it did was leave me feeling hollow by the entire thing.

This will be something I’ll never have--something that will never be mine. I don’t want a glimpse of things I will never enjoy.

This represented what it could be if his heart didn’t belong to another.

Why can’t you be a stranger to me? Why do you have to be similar to what I experienced in my dreams? This is so unfair! Alijah, I don’t know if I can fall… out of love if you keep being like this.

“Little Luma, will you treat me like your husband tonight?” He whispered into my ear, allowing his fiery breath to brush my skin.

Ah… I’m…

I took a deep breath to steady myself before glancing at him firmly.

You can never know what I feel for you, that I’m weak to you. If you do, you’d use it without hesitation against me. I have to appear strong. So strong that I’ll be invincible against you. You don’t own my heart!

It was a lie as he owned it from the moment I saw that silly picture of him.

“My name’s Rem,” I informed the grumps, knowing I had never formally introduced myself to him before.

I didn’t know what expression I had on my face, but his eyes opened wide before he loosened his grip on me. Releasing a sigh, I drew away from him before sitting back on the other seat on the opposite side of the table.

Luckily, our meal came towards us quickly after that. The entire time, I avoided his gaze. I didn’t know what to expect from him. Surprisingly, he stayed silent when the server came, placing our food down.

Perhaps he was stunned that a female would turn him down. He was probably the prettiest man I had ever seen. Even his eyelashes were longer than mine. This man’s appearance was illegal, so every girl who saw him couldn’t help but stare at him.

This grumps probably all the girls around his finger when he was back in his time, too. No, that isn’t fair to say about you. Not when, at one point, they were forced on you.

Stings rose in my chest as I shifted my eyes towards the food before us. The moment the server left, he sighed.

“So, I finally have a name to call you by,” Alijah commented, taking much of his meal while I took a chomp off mine.

Argh! This is awkward! Why do I have to feel this affection for this brute of Lycan? All over a picture, too, and those dreams!

I had to be strong if I didn’t want to end up hurt by the end of this adventure.

“Yup,” I agreed, reluctantly glancing at him.

Mom had said he was touchy, but that seemed an attempt to get a reaction out of me rather than anything else. Since I denied him one, he moved on with ease. Luckily, nothing else happened before we arrived at the rooms I separated.

Though once there…

Chapter Text

Once I closed the door to our room, Alijah stopped being as docile. In an instant, I found myself pinned against the wall. He wouldn’t let me escape unless I answered all his questions or ordered him to.

I expected as much since my dreams. It was rare for you to be out of words.

Luckily, before he pounced on me, I had turned the sigil, a magical artifact that made the room soundproof to the outside world.

“So... Rem. You’ll tell me how to break this stupid bond you’ve forced into me. I think we’ve wasted enough time in this charade.” He held me in place.

I gazed up at him to meet with his contact-covered eyes, noticing a light shine come from them.

Will those eyes ever soften up for me? Never, right? I’m still not used to you looking at me like that.

Trying to ignore the other chatters from the floating orbs around us, I cackled at his words.

“For what? For you to kill me and go off with the world, too? Please... all you had before now was time. So, buckle up. We are going to waste some of it.” I smirked.

His eyes narrowed, and his lips formed a defined frown before he flashed his fangs. This man wanted me to crumble at his power—something that would never happen because I didn’t fear him.

“I’ll enjoy ripping you to pieces, little Rem,” Alijah scowled, gripping my throat.

A soft sigh left my lips as I cupped his cheeks, gently smiling. Even though his threat of violence was real, it didn’t faze me. If only he could rip me into pieces. Out of my brothers and sisters, I was the wild card of the quad—the one he had to fear, but of course, I wouldn’t tell him that.

He couldn’t know I was from that family if I hoped to save his heart.

“I want to see you try, Alijah-tan,” I whispered, caressing his cheek softly, only for him to grab my hand and tug it away from his skin.

This wolf didn’t know what to do with me. I wasn’t sane to him—something out of the ordinary.

“You aren’t afraid of me? You must know who I am,” he asked, staring at my hand.

No one had shown him kindness in all these years. That alone was sad—sadder than anything else I could think of. Even though he was beautiful, his heart was shattered and broken beyond salvation.

Or at least that’s what Mom thinks.

On the other hand, I believed his heart could be glued and patched up with time. We were resilient and could heal from the worst life had to offer.

Isn’t that right, Mom? You could do it, so why not allow him to do it, too?

“Because to me, you’re harmless.” I giggled, knowing no matter what profanity or threat came from Alijah’s mouth, it would never come to fruition while we were bonded.

He slowly turned his gaze back to me, eyes shimmering again.

“Hah? Harmless?” Alijah mumbled, eyes widening.

He probably never thought anyone would call him that. After all, in the past, he threatened to destroy every living thing other than my mother. I shook my head, poking his nose.

If I treat you like this… I won’t fall deeper, right?

“You heard me. You’re harmless, Alijah-tan.” I tried to provoke him.

He took my bait faster than I could realize, pinning both hands onto the wall behind us. He was trying to look like a big, tough guy, but I only saw a hurt boy underneath it.

Ah… Why did you have to suffer like that? Why did no one want to help you? Crap… why wasn’t I born sooner? Don’t worry... Alijah, you have me now, even if you don’t want it.

“I’ve got other ways to hurt you besides physical violence, stupid girl.” He declared, leaning closer.

I cackled at his real threat, leaving him with his ears twitching as he couldn’t figure me out. Nothing he tried got the reaction he wanted out of me; instead, the weirdest things came from me. Thanks to this wolf, I couldn’t concentrate on the surrounding ghost, who made snarky comments.

Come to think of it, when our skins touch, I barely notice them. You’re stronger than Dad, even though I’m still suppressing your power. A real danger…

“Oh yeah? Well, I’ll only break this bond if you show me you changed. So, harming me is the last thing you want to do. Well, unless you want to be bonded to me forever. Until death does us part, hubby.” I smirked.

Instantly, Alijah released me, scowling.

To you, I’m no better than those who imprisoned you, and that's fine for now. I’ll show you otherwise in time. I’m your only ally for now.

I was the only one who didn’t want to harm or use him, like the witch that cursed me.

Oh, you tell him, girl! A ghost cheered from the side, triggering me to twitch my eye.

Shut up…

“You’re hilarious. If you expect me to change, you don’t know half of what I’ve gone through.” The black wolf growled.

Change would never come easily for him, but it needed to happen. I wanted it to happen.

It has to be done!

“I don’t know what you went through, but I have a rough idea of what it was,” I sighed, not wanting that thought to linger in my mind.

I stepped away from the wall when my words caused him to turn back to me.

“Oh? Who told you?” he asked curiously.

I placed my bag on the floor by my chosen bed. Two were in the room, even though the tavern owner wanted to sell me the single bedroom.

How can I make Alijah see me as something else other than his captor? Perhaps a little truth?

“M...” I stopped, realizing I was going too far with that.

No… not that much.

“L-Lilith,” I answered.

I usually called her Mom rather than by her name, though she called herself Lily to her friends.

“Lilith told you about me?” Alijah questioned, biting his lip before wincing.

You’re still hurt by what she did to you twenty years ago.

Twenty years to her, but to him, it was less than a day ago. Tricking the wolf was the only way she found to stop him from going on a rampage. However, this time around, she wanted to put him down on the ground after failing to find a safe way to save him through her years of research.

I know Mom tried everything to save you. Well, all but one.

She shot me down when I presented my idea because it would be too dangerous.

If only she knew, it would have worked. Would she have let me near you? Doubtful...

Ever since my accident, all I was to my family was a liability—a danger to be contained.

Then again, that doesn’t make me much different from you, does it?

“Yes... she learned your story from the elders and filled the rest with what you told her yourself.” I continued to answer his questions.

Though they kept coming, once you opened the jar, it was hard to keep it down, especially when it had to do with the woman he loved—the reincarnation of the beloved that he lost before he was imprisoned.

“So, this is her plan?” Alijah’s query continued.

However, his tone was low and breakable. In his eyes, no one would ever care for him how he wanted.

You’re a hurt child who only wants to be loved, like me, right? I’m not hurt, but I want to be loved if you could love me too. I’m not enough, and I know that.

“No, she wanted to kill you by the time you showed up again.” I sighed, remembering Mom rejecting my plan when I came to her.

Why couldn’t you have listened and trusted me, Mom? It turned out fine. Well, kind of...

“Then why are you here, Rem?” Alijah’s voice broke upon hearing my mother’s intentions.

His tone made me want to hug him, but he could never know how I felt about him.

Not for a second.

Sitting down on the bed, I gazed away from him. I carefully maneuvered my way through this, even though it hurt to see him like this.

In my dreams, you were much happier and less cranky, too. However, you started like a grump, much like you are now.

I probably would’ve felt the same, even without these dreams. It seemed he was my fated soul, even if I wasn’t his.

Though, if I were Alijah, who was raped, battered, and a prisoner for two years straight, reliving the same every day. I probably would’ve wanted to kill the world, too, but all the people you wanted to hurt are long gone.

They were nothing more than ashes in our present time.

If I could show you that, would it be enough? Please... find a cheerful place in this era.

“Because I don’t want you to die, Alijah,” I announced, refusing to gaze towards him.

Why am I so weak? Come on, Rem. You can do better than this! Look at him and tell him straight on. Don’t break just because he’s here and is looking pitiful. He’s here! That’s what you wanted. Right?

Aw... cute! You love him, don’t you? An orb commented, followed by another. Girls always fall for the bad boys.

You screw heads are always so noisy, never silent, and know nothing!

“Why? You don’t know me. Why care?” Alijah mumbled, shaking his head.

No one had cared for all those years he spent under the lycan elder’s iron fist.

It must’ve been lonely, but I’m here now. I won’t let anyone else hurt you.

At least they would have to go through my dead body to do so, which would prove difficult for them.

“Because I just do.” I simpered, gazing back at the troubled wolf.

My words caused him to growl deeper than ever before. He would never understand why I cared without reason, but I had a motive, just not one he would believe. He was the key to my freedom, even if I didn’t feel how I felt.

A lot depends on this. Ultimately, you’ll be happy, and I’ll have my freedom. It’s a great payoff, right? I can’t tell you, so keep looking at me with malice. I won’t be scared off that easy!

“Oh... I hate your kind. Those who want to save the world without knowing anything about it.” Alijah snarled, suddenly pinning me onto the bed.

The moment my eyes met with his, all I could see was the hurt that was spilling out from him. He wanted to harm me. He really did, but the bond prevented him from doing so. Instead of feeling intimidated by his hate, I sat up a little to get closer to his face.

I want to tell you I’m here for you and only you, but you’ll use it against me if I do. Won’t you, Alijah?

Chapter Text

In an instant, I was pinned between my heart and the bed below me. If I had told this wolf I was there for him and only him, I would’ve lost the battle before it started.

“I don’t—” I stopped myself from saying the rest.

I don’t want to save the world. No... all I want is to save you, Alijah.

In my dreams, he was happy, and I desired that for him—so much that it hurt. Before I came on this trip, I swore I would accomplish it no matter who told me otherwise. Even if I said everything I wanted to, he would’ve hated me more for it.

Or call me a liar. No, this grumpy, hurt wolf can never know I fell for him long before this trip began.

Every minute I spent with him was torturous, though.

I accept you, no matter how damaged or angry you are. We’re both in the same boat, and I’m not the most stable of minds.

“You don’t?” Alijah questioned, gripping my wrist tighter.

He probably wanted to crush them in his hands. It must’ve been so hard to want something but not be able to take it like he usually did. A soft sigh left my lips as I let myself go onto the bed once again, allowing him to straddle me.

“You won’t understand my reasoning.” I simpered.

His eyes twitched as he flashed his fangs at me in a sharp growl.

I know you want to be free, but I can’t let you destroy everything. I must cage the wolf in you, at least for now. Please… forgive me.

“Then make me understand, Rem.” His voice was desperate for answers.

This wasn’t his first rodeo as a prisoner, which made my chest ache.

Is there really no other way? No… You can be as chaotic as the curse…

Whoever saw him like a monster knew nothing about him. This outer shell was built to keep in check the constant agony within him—something that I wanted to relieve, but I couldn’t go soft on him, or else he would walk all over me.

Even if my actions give me away, I can never tell you my feelings.

“I don’t need to.” I huffed, triggering his lips to curl downward as his nostrils flared.

“Hah... of course, then tell me this, just who the fuck are you?” Alijah’s eyes shimmered as I shifted my gaze away from him.

I’m your captor. A silver blood who’s born from the woman reincarnated from your beloved. How can I even say that to you?

“My name is Rem,” I answered.

It wasn’t like I didn’t know what he meant by that, but that information was better reserved for now.

“I know your fucking name, girl. I mean, who are you, really? How did you get this spell to work on me, of all people?” Alijah clarified, narrowing his eyes.

It was almost as if he thought I hadn’t understood him before, which was fine. I wasn’t the most brilliant cookie, but I wasn’t the dumbest.

“What I used on you would work on any Lycan, including once influenced by the red moon. It’s a type of magic you can’t dismiss or manipulate.” I answered his question partially.

The usual wolves had amber eyes, unlike the one before me.

No… This wolf was a blood moon variant born under it, much like my dad was, while my mother is the carrier of the realm of the dead gods.

That was probably why I could affect him while other types of magic didn’t. Thanks to my mother’s connection to that world, I could see the world of the living and the dead, including those stranded in the in-between realm.

Though my magic was unstable, it was unusable without my dear sister, Vera, channeling it.

“How is that possible?” Alijah asked, grabbing me by my chin.

He made sure I was facing him. I smirked, knowing what I said next would piss him off, but that was a normal thing for him.

“That’s for me to know and for you never to find out, Alijah-tan,” I stuck out my tongue playfully.

“You little bitch!” He snapped, pushing me back down onto the bed.

In my dreams, we did these many times, but differently. Of course, that would only happen in my fantasies.

I’m not that foolish. All of that is never meant for me. I’ll never be the main girl in your heart, Alijah. No, that belongs to another, and that’s okay. It must be. All I want is for you to live, love, and be happy, even if it’s with another.

I had to figure out how to save his beloved, too, but one step at a time.

“When... I... break out of this spell, I’ll...” Alijah threatened, clasping his hands onto my neck.

However, the pressure was nowhere near as the night before.

The band has neutered you, and this is getting boring.

Rolling my eyes, I grabbed onto his arm, “Yes, yes, you’ll kill me. I get it. I’m not afraid of death, Alijah. Now get off me.” I ordered, triggering him to step away from me thanks to the bond.

He growled at me for a bit, standing on the side, glaring at me as I slowly stood up from the bed and fetched my bag.

This is getting us nowhere. I need some time to cool off, too.

My temper was showing, and the ghosts’ sassy attitudes weren’t helping either.

“Though I hope you see I’m not your enemy. I’m the only person who’ll be by your side, no matter what, Alijah.” I reassured the hostile wolf of my intentions.

He glowered at me from where he was. There wasn’t a hint of trust in his eyes.

Of course, you’d look at me like that.

“I’ll be back. Shower and rest on the bed or something while I return.” I announced, heading out the door before he could say anything back.

Even though I walked out to let things cool, I wanted to find something to cheer him up, too.

Anything to try and get closer to you, but how? How can I try to do that in the first place? I’m just another enemy to you. No… I’m worse than that! I’m your captor!

This wolf had gone from one prison to another.

Of course, You’ll hate me, but is there another choice? No, I had none! It was that or your death. Or… you could’ve killed my family. That can’t happen!

Mom always said Alijah planned to kill the witches who summoned him into our time. The only person he didn’t want to kill was her.

“Damn it, am I wasting my time in trying to do this?” I mumbled, biting my lip before shaking my head.

It doesn’t matter. I can’t go back now.

Placing my headphones on, I walked outside the tavern and into the busy streets. The last thing I needed was a stupid ghost tainting my negative thoughts. The town seemed well off by itself from the looks of it.

Back home, the purebreds always said Celestelia was full of beggars and robbers, but I didn’t see any of that inside the Luxon. It was full of hybrids everywhere, but that was it. There was nothing different about this town from Silverant’s busy roads.

This is a typical town full of shops and pedestrians. I don’t see why the people back home always say such negative things about this place. It’s also the first time no one looks at me like I don’t belong.

Back in Silverant, all the purebreds would send nasty comments, usually met by my rowdy brothers snapping at them.

That’s right. No one in my family has ever made me feel that way, other than my great-grandfather, who was extremely disappointed to be related to a luma.

Perhaps it was the fact that Alijah hated my guts, but it hit me. I had only been a day away from my siblings and parents, and I had already missed them terribly.

Perhaps I can send them a postcard?

I gazed towards a souvenir shop but quickly stepped away from it.

No... that’ll make it easier for them to find me. Are they worried about me, though? They seemed pretty at ease without me around.

Even though I didn’t regret my actions, I still wondered if they were all right.

I can’t forget how Vera called me annoying and loud! Argh! The nerve on that one!

I pouted, trying to navigate my way through the town. Luckily, I tracked down a shoe store for Alijah and a bakery at the far end.

Hm… Shade is always into sweets, and she’s a horrible prude, so perhaps it’ll have the same effect on the grumpy wolf back in the room. Yes, let… wait… I don’t know how any of these taste!

The tasty treats before me weren’t the ones Dad brought from Silverant’s stores. They were different, which was typical for continents to have their variety. Before I knew it, I bought one of each they had available.

You probably didn’t have any of these back in your timeline, so this will have to do!

A hum left my lips as I prepared to head back into the inn; however, before I could place my headphones, a ghost commented on something that had planted an idea in my head.

It would help if you hadn’t left him alone. What if he leaves? They always go in the end. A ghost following me from the tavern complained to a passerby about her boyfriend finding another woman to be a friend.

In that instance, my heart stopped right where I stood.

Wait, Alijah, you won’t leave, right? You can’t be that stupid.

Then, a worse thought crossed my mind.

What if Edna...

My heart raced as I jolted down the street towards the tavern.

Damn it! I’m so freaking stupid!

I bonded Alijah with me, but that bitch wasn’t. He would surely follow her if she found him and whispered her lies. After all, that witch had his beloved’s soul in her clutches. Getting to the tavern door, I almost tripped on the stairs, heading towards our room.

Bursting the door open, my heart stopped when I saw him on the bed.

You’re still here. You haven’t left me.

He was out cold, sleeping like a log after showering. The run had exhausted the poor wolf. Relief washed over me, triggering me to drop the bag full of treats and his shoes onto the floor as I fell to my knees.

My body trembled at the thought of what could have been.

How stupid am I? This isn’t about me! It’s about his safety! I can’t… do that! Stupid so stupid!

Everyone was after this wolf, yet I left him alone. I couldn’t let my anger or feelings impede protecting him.

That can never happen again.

Standing up from the floor, I walked to the sleeping wolf to see his peaceful expression. Even the most dangerous Lycan alive could have tranquil dreams. However, those dreams were probably full of the woman he loved.

This entire journey was probably out of my hands. Unlike my mom, father, and siblings, I was weak in real life—pure inexperience. I couldn’t fight off shadow beasts or witches if they came for us.

My role on this was meager at best, as all I could do was place everyone in danger.

But perhaps I can try to warm Alijah’s heart. Just enough so you won’t destroy us all. Hey, Alijah... Do you think I might get a space in your heart? Even the tiniest piece, I’ll be happy with that.

This journey wouldn’t be easy, but I was determined to make the wildest Lycan in history smile.

Chapter Text

Noises into the night caused my eyes to flutter open as I groggily sat up. Shifting my gaze towards the source, I spotted a distressed Alijah on his bed.

Ah… it sounds like you’re…

Wiping my eyes, I headed toward the troubled wolf, whose cries were familiar. When I was twelve, I had night terrors after the accident. My siblings would cuddle me to sleep every night to combat them—one evening, Vera, the other Aiden/Caden, and so on.

By the time I was fifteen, I had stopped having them so frequently, although my siblings would still sleep with me from now on. It had become a ritual of sorts. Vera was the worst offender, who came around much more often than the other two.

I’m lucky… while you… you have no one to do that, do you, Alijah?

This poor wolf probably hadn’t dreamt all those years he spent in his timeless prison. Sitting on the edge of his bed, I brushed away his hair from his face, only to see him wincing and gripping onto his chest.

“Alijah...” I whispered his name, trying to raise him from his dream gently.

Sadly, he was trapped in it with no way out of it, and I didn’t want to scare him awake. Getting closer to him, I reached for his hand before hesitating to grab onto it.

Wait… Is this right? Eh… It isn’t like you don’t hate me already.

I sighed, slowly lying beside him and caressing his hair to soothe his troubled soul. My mom hummed a lullaby for us; I hoped he would find the same comfort it gave us when we were young.

“It’s okay; I’m here.” I cooed.

Intertwining his left hand with my right, I gently caressed his skin with my hand’s thumb, continuing to soothe his dreams.

I wish to make all your pain disappear and never return, Alijah.

Slowly, the restless wolf became blissful once again. The moment his troubled expression softened, I simpered.

Just a bit more… I just want to feel your warmth for a second longer.

Before I knew it, I struggled to stay awake, comforted by the heat radiating from his hand into mine.

“Lilith...” the wolf mumbled in his sleep.

Hearing her name caused me to wince bitterly. In his dreams, she was the one to comfort him, even though I was the one who held his hand. The urge to wake him up and tell him otherwise rushed through me, but I quickly drowned him.

I’ll be your replacement until you return to him for now and forever.

“I’m right here.” My voice quivered as my eyes stung with the welling tears.

I thought I would have been alright with that, but my heart ached to enact it. Trying not to overthink, I caressed his hair as it left my fingers feeling tingly, but my eyes felt heavier. The warmth from his hand comforted me so much that I couldn’t help but fall asleep next to him.

The following morning, I was rudely awakened by stumbling onto the floor. The grumpy wolf growled at me after finding me in bed with him.

Okay! That was unneeded!

I could feel my body flare up with each moment my bum ached, yet I stopped in my tracks when I noticed he was naked under the covers when I climbed onto the bed. The only thing that covered his privates was the thin sheets.

Oops...

Thankfully, an ache rose from the fall that snapped me out of my gaze to his...

“Ouch!” I complained, rubbing my lower back.

Recently, all my injuries seemed to find themselves there, though the floor was hard and smooth this time, unlike the spiky tree from before.

“Wench, did you attack me in my sleep?” Alijah snapped, flashing his fangs at me.

No! That isn’t what I want it to look like!

Wanting to defend my honor, I faced him head-on. However, it would be a slippery slope.

I won’t allow myself to be called a pervert! Especially when I haven’t done a thing!

Well, while in my waking moment with him, my dreams were another matter.

“I did nothing of that sort!” I defended myself, puffing my chest, ready for a fight.

In my burst of emotions, I failed to realize something that slowly set in after those words left my mouth.

Ah... Wait, you probably think I’m like all the other women you’ve encountered before. Argh… I’m so stupid!

The same ones who only wanted him for his seed and the future he could provide for them. My poor brothers were hounded by Lycan girls back home, too. It was probably why Aiden was smitten by Sophie, who couldn’t care who he was.

She was also the only one who knew him for who he was rather than what he was.

Damn it, again, I did something that might’ve hurt you, but I couldn’t help myself. You were in such pain that I couldn’t prevent myself from indulging you. I… I don’t know how…

“Then why the fuck were you in the bed with me?” He glared.

Although I felt I knew him thanks to my dreams throughout the years, I was an utter stranger to him. We were unknown to one another, yet I couldn’t stop feeling this way.

Why can’t I move past them? All that happened in them was nothing but a fantasy. This wolf will never look at me like I want you to.

The wolf’s eyes were so full of malice whenever he gazed at me, leaving my chest feeling like there was a hole there. The sad part was that I couldn’t blame him for being cautious around me. The bond allowed me to do whatever I wished with him—something he was fully aware of.

“Last night, I...” I paused, shaking my head.

Get a grip, Rem!

“I saw you in pain and wanted to comfort you,” I reassured him.

Though it sounded worse than I thought, his expression of pure disgust showed me he didn’t interpret my words the way I wanted him to. Before I knew it, he was gazing at me like I was a complete creep.

Maybe I was... a bit, but I would never... Scratch that. I would do that, but only if you want it.

“You fucking did what?” Alijah snarled at me.

I tried to keep my ground, even though I was on the floor squirming.

“All I did was hold your hand! I swear! You were groaning and, oh… I also pet your hair for a bit, but that’s all! I didn’t do anything else, nor did I know you were nude under the sheets!” I confessed, trying not to sound like a creep.

My words caused him to huff, gazing away from me.

Wait, are your cheeks light pink? Crap! Do you feel ill? We don’t have time for that!

I went to stand up to check on him, but he quickly recovered, rolling his eyes.

“Don’t touch me again, wench,” Alijah warned me, releasing a slight growl along with those words.

Ah… I… Is this an ultimatum?!

There was no way I could keep my mittens to myself if he were in discomfort. I’d always try to find a way to comfort him, even if it meant he hated me more.

“I probably will...” I trailed off in a mumble.

“What?” He muttered, eyes shimmering again.

Ah! Damn it all!

I stood up from the floor, facing him straight on. There was no backing down for me.

This is a hill I’m willing to die on! Mom called you a monster, but you aren’t! I know you aren’t! Even if it’s because of the magical bond we have right now.

Even so, I only wanted to comfort Alijah and show him that this world couldn’t harm him.

I want you to know that someone will be here for you—no, not just anyone. I’ll be here for you!

However, I would show some of my emotions to reach this wolf's closed heart.

But I can’t show you all of it, or you’ll use it against me.

“If I see you in pain, I’ll do everything to improve it! I swear that’s all I want. So, I’ll probably touch you if it means I can help you!” I declared, grabbing onto my pajama’s blouse.

All those words did was trigger another glare to come my way. No matter how often this wolf tried to push me away, I would constantly be there for him.

Always and forever, I’ll never abandon you!

Even if it meant a world of heartbreak for me later, I would save him.

“You little...” Alijah tried to appear tough and unbreakable, but there were cracks on his exterior.

This wolf was brittle and fragile as the fractures in his heart were so visible to me.

Why does everyone ignore them? You… aren’t…

This man who was taken advantage of once before—one who was used and abused in ways I couldn’t begin to imagine.

No… I won’t back down, even if it means I’m on the floor daily!

I would repeat my actions until he could sleep soundly every night.

“Moan and cry all you want, but I won’t apologize. Not for trying to ease your pain.” I simpered, reaching my hand towards him.

Alijah slapped it away, growling, “Stay away from me.”

Ah… We’re getting nowhere.

Releasing a sigh, I headed towards the stuff I bought the previous day. Grabbing the bag, I offered it to him as he glared at me.

Chapter Text

Hesitantly, the curious wolf snatched the bag from my hands as I slowly sat down next to him on the floor with my hands in view.

Look, the last thing I want is for you to think I’m assaulting you when I’m trying to help you.

I had to earn his trust; the only way to do that was with time. Slowly, he took out a ball of chocolate with strawberry filling inside, which was in one of the many boxes inside the bag. For a moment, he inspected it before sniffing the odd sphere.

A soft giggle left me when he stared at me like I had given him some alien substance. It was like a child gazing at something he didn’t know existed, which caused my heart to squeeze tightly.

By the gods, you have an adorable side!

My hidden tail was slightly wagging to the sides before I grabbed onto it.

Quiet you! If he sees you, it’s game over!

I still had the fake wig and eyes—something I wouldn’t take them off while I was with him.

“What is it?” Alijah asked, inspecting the sphere in his hand, unable to figure it out.

Hah, a win for me at last!

Once he tasted it, hopefully, it would free his heart a little for me to sneak into.

Honestly, I’ll be happy if it opens a centimeter. Even a millimeter or micro will be satisfactory.

“It’s a chocolate ball filled with strawberry jam inside. You can eat it.” I answered the curious wolf’s question.

He turned it, unsure about anything that he was seeing. Everything was so different from where he was from. They had nothing close to it. Anything sugary was nonexistent in his time.

“I don’t know,” Alijah mumbled, hesitant.

The chocolate was melting on his fingers, leaving me narrowing my eyes.

Ah… that’s such a waste.

“It isn’t poison. If I wanted you dead, don’t you think I would have done it already?” I sighed, rolling my eyes.

“That isn’t what I meant,” he growled, glaring at me.

His cheeks were slightly pink.

Have you ever received a gift before? Surely you have, right? I mean, Lilith, the elven girl you fell for who was your lover of two years, gifted you treats from their time. Right?

That thought quickly stopped when his expression seemed to be one of a pouting child.

Oh... you can be cute, too. Fuck... that isn’t good.

His slight sulking made me want to jump into him and give him the biggest hug I could muster.

A big no. Control yourself, Rem. Don’t be a creep!

“Oh... you think you won’t like it?” I asked, slowly reaching from the bag.

Once in my hand, I gently pulled it from him while I sat on the floor. This was the only thing I could do to drown the urge to tease him.

The gods only know how much I want to eat that ball from your hands.

His reaction would be priceless, too, yet I tried to hold off from acting on impulse. If I kept doing things to piss him off, he would hate me forever.

“Never had anything like it. So, I’m unsure of how it’ll taste or if it’s even edible.” Alijah mumbled.

His ears fully tilted backward, and his tail seemed shaky. The wolf in front of me didn’t know what to do with the kindness I was showing him. I didn’t know why his expression was all it took to destroy my better judgment.

Before I knew it, I pulled myself up, leaning toward his hand. Instantly, the chocolate ball was in my mouth as my tongue lightly licked his fingers. His eyes flew open as his jaw dropped upon my action, all while my heart stopped.

Oops... Stupid Rem! Why do that?! I know of Alijah’s past! Stop making him hate you!

I had always been like this with my siblings. It wasn’t uncommon to be spontaneous and random, but I was usually more reserved towards strangers.

So, why can’t I control myself around Alijah even though we are... Is it because I saw you almost every night in my dreams for the past five years?!

Slowly, I drew away from his fingers, leaving traces of saliva on them. Clearing my throat, I tried to salvage the situation I brainlessly created.

“It’s sugary and tangy because of the filling.” I grinned.

Please, please, just let it go!

Though hiding the embarrassment that filled me was complex, I had one job.

One fucking job, and I failed so miserably! Arg! Rem, what the actual—

Alijah stared at me, stunned at what happened, before he chuckled as the most sly smile cracked on his lips. It was so genuine that it broke me, melting me as I was. I couldn’t move my gaze from him.

That smile is…

My dreams were nothing compared to what was before me solely because the grump was real, warming my heart in more ways than one.  He continued to crackle, making me want to memorize every bit of his smile. The tone of his chuckling also filled me in ways I never thought would be possible.

Ah, I’m utterly smitten by you.

“Oh, yeah? Filling, you say?” Alijah started playfully.

Before I knew it, he yanked me onto the bed with him. Our eyes met when he placed his thumb on my lips. There was still some chocolate on it, which he smothered against them.

The only thing covering his private region was the blanket he used to keep warm as he hovered over me. His soft tail was on my belly, leaving me tingling. I, for once, was the one on the other end of the tease stick.

“Ali—” I tried to call out to him, only for him to stick his thumb in to hold my mouth open.

My heart stopped, not knowing what he was going to do. A soft smile rose on his lips before his tongue took a quick lick of the inside of my mouth. Instantly, my heart was set on a marathon, feeling his warmth seep into my kin.

Pulling away a second later, he returned for a second round before lapping my lips.

“It’s sweet,” He mumbled, tugging away from me while my heart left the building.

How?! Why?! What?!

My mind jumbled, trying to find any words to help me.

My heart... Oh, my poor heart. Please stop beating so fast! I can barely think! Alijah did that because of what I did! There isn’t any meaning behind it! I… I… need to speak!

I had to hide this feeling that was arising.

But how? It’s too warm and I... want more.

“I-I b-bought y-you a-a b-bunch of o-other s-stuff t-too!” I stuttered, sitting up faster than lightning.

My face gushed redder than the blood coursing through my veins.

My poor heart!

Instead of enjoying the reaction Alijah caused, he tugged the bag towards himself, avoiding my gaze.

“Rem...” The wolf trailed off, licking his fingers clean of the sugary treat.

After they were clean, he reached inside the bag for more. Taking the opportunity, his gaze wasn’t on me; I closed my eyes, trying to steady my chaotic heart.

You aren’t giving me any breaks!

However, before I could find my footing, he...

“Why are you being so nice to me?” He asked.

Oi! It’s unfair to ask that after you sent my heart into arrhythmia!

I could almost feel my heartbeat in my ears.

Has Alijah somehow turned it into a drum?

Grabbing onto a piece of bread, the grumpy wolf chomped on it, blissfully unaware of what he had done to me.

Is this a test? Do you expect me to pounce on you after doing something like that to me? By the gods... It’s hard not to.

I licked my lip, unable to escape the feeling he left behind.

It’s so warm and addictive. I want more.

Yet…

Wait... No... don’t give me another taste! If you do, I won’t be able to let it go.

“Because I want to be,” I grumbled, biting my lip.

Alijah sighed, settling his gaze back on me, triggering me to tense up.

Damn it!

I couldn’t control myself or build a mask fast enough to hide my feelings for him. My cheeks still burned, and I couldn't get a grip after that moment with him.

Surely... My expression gives me away, or can I hide it?

“Why, though? You should have bit my tongue off when I did that.” The wolf pointed out, narrowing his eyes at me.

Ah... this is a test.

He was investigating how far he could go until I snapped at him like everyone else. Breaking out of my initial shock, I held myself together. This was my shot to earn some trust and to show him I wasn’t an enemy.

“Because I want you to smile, Alijah.” I simpered, realizing he was attempting to connect with me.

Weirdly, but he was trying to understand me.

Shade’s right. There is nothing better than a sweet treat to win the heart!

“I can’t figure you out, little luma.” The troubled wolf sighed, gazing back toward the bag full of treats.

He appeared bothered by the fact I wasn’t like others he had met—that I wanted nothing else but to help him. It was something surreal to him. After all, the only person who tried to help him was long dead.

“Good. That means I’ll always keep you second-guessing, Alijah-tan.” I hummed the last bit while my tail wagged under my pants.

He threw sugary bread from the bag, and I struggled to react quickly enough so that it didn't hit my face.

“Hey!” I growled as he smirked.

“Eat. We have to leave soon, right?” He announced, glancing back towards me.

I instinctively nodded right away. I didn’t know if my cheeks were still bright red when he gazed at me, but he chuckled again.

Is it my expression or something else? Arg… I want to know why you’re laughing because I want to keep doing it endlessly to see you smile like that.

Before I could say anything, his cheeks turned slightly pink as he shook his head and sighed.

“Hope you know that was payback for kissing me last night and eating my chocolate before I could even try it. Never do it again.” He warned, flicking my forehead gently.

It triggered me to nod again, more fiercely. Though, I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t do it again since I usually acted before thinking thoroughly.

Is it me, or are you letting me in a bit?

That alone was exhilarating. Happiness beamed out of me as my tail almost slipped from my clothes.

“I’ll try to!” I assured Alijah, not wanting to promise him something I wouldn’t keep.

A wish that…

Chapter Text

After hearing me say I would try to, Alijah shook his head before shrugging. A firm frown was present on his lips as he rolled his eyes. He suddenly stood up from the bed, triggering me to crash my face into the bedcovers.

At least it wasn’t dirt anymore—an upgrade from yesterday.

“Please don’t do that!” I yelped, feeling the rush of blood onto my cheeks.

The grumpy wolf chuckled as he surely realized his effect on me, but that was something I couldn’t control.

I mean, if I see you bare. I’ll die! Arg! How can I keep my hands off you throughout this journey to heal your heart? No, Rem! Bad girl!

This would cause a problem, but that was a danger I had to deal with another day.

I have to kill these emotions somehow. It doesn’t matter; I’ve held you countless times in my dreams! None of that matters!

“Are you a virgin or something?” he asked, causing my eyes to find him before I squealed, planting my eyes on the bed again.

I saw nothing! Absolutely nothing!

“That isn’t any of your business,” I broke.

Yep, I saw nothing with that slip! No, you were bare standing there! Why?! My heart can’t handle a single nipple shot. So, why are you doing this?!

Even though they stared at me the entire time, I kept my sight on the bed for his safety.

“You really aren’t like other females I have met. That’s for sure.” Alijah noted, getting dressed.

I sensed my eyes would burn if I glanced up momentarily, just like my lips and mouth felt after feeling him. With my spontaneous tendencies, I wouldn’t pass it by me that I would jump him.

Especially since in my dreams, we...

Even so, I would do everything in my power to not be like the girls who assaulted him. I wanted to be unique and a friend.

Yes… That’s all I’ll ever be.

“Good! I don’t want to be like anyone you have met!” I mumbled, shifting my eyes to the opposite wall from him.

Alijah slowly continued to dress, doing so to tease me, and I felt it in my bones. It was an irritating temptation—one I wasn’t sure I’d fully resist.

“Hm… You’re unique.” Alijah sighed soon after.

It caused my heart to skip a beat at such a simple compliment.

My heart... I... How... will I survive this man?

My sanity wouldn’t last.

“Fine, I’ll give you a shot, Rem,” He added soon after.

It successfully ripped my eyes away from where I had locked them and onto him, triggering tears to form before tailing down my cheeks.

Give me a shot. Really?! That’s all I want!

I couldn’t hold the emotions of happiness, which caused me to pounce on him.

“Alijah-tan!!! Thank you! I promise you won’t regret it!” I beamed, hugging him from behind.

It wasn’t long before I smothered my face in his back.

“Oi!” He complained at my sudden attack as I clung to him dearly.

His shirt was still loose, but everything else was decent.

This doesn’t constitute assault! Surely...

I didn’t know if it was my hug or the words, but he didn’t shove me away. Instead, much to my surprise, he grabbed onto my hands, which held him—something in my belly fluttered, slowly peeling myself off him, nervously giggling.

“E-Excuse me!” I grabbed my bag before bolting into the bathroom to catch myself.

In my wake, I left behind a bewildered grump to finish dressing.

Arg! I must’ve appeared like an idiot running into the bathroom after saying all that.

Yet I knew I was a stupid fool before embarked on this journey. Filling the sink with water, I dumped my face into it to cool myself.

That was so very uncool of me!

Before I drowned, I took my face out of the water, gasping for air. The mirror in front of me only showed a girl way out of her league. Everywhere Alijah touched, I felt like he set it on fire, including my hands.

There’s no way I can hide my feelings for long—that’s if you haven’t figured it out yet.

That thought made me want to slam my face into the mirror, but something stopped me. I found something worrisome in my reflection. The constant use of contacts was irritating my eyes.

Oh, no! This…

They didn’t need to be pulled out for safety reasons, but this situation wasn’t pleasant. Normal lumas usually took the mother’s characteristics for their eyes.

I’m Lilith’s daughter, the most powerful witch ever, but I didn’t inherit her natural brown orbs. No, I inherited one of her transformed blue orbs from her, making it neon blue, and the other is from my father, Fenris, who is pure red.

Both were far from normal in humans and Lycans, with only amber color.

This is all because of my Red moon lycan blood. If Alijah ever sees them.

There would be no doubt left in his mind of who I was.

No, that can’t happen. Not when I’m part of the…

Luckily, my wig was still in place to cover my natural silver with brown strips in my hair. I always tucked my tail under my clothes, even though it wanted to be freed at all costs. After I was done preparing myself and dreading everything to come, I walked out of the bathroom.

Alijah waited for me by the bed. Luckily, he didn’t care enough to take a detailed look at me before he went into the bathroom after me. Once he finished, he put on his hat and shoes while I waited by the door.

It seemed the ones I picked out for him were the right size, too. At least I was good with details—one of my only outstanding qualities. By noon, we were back on the road, searching for a way to move forward.

Outside the town, we hitched a ride with one merchant leaving the village and headed towards the border of Celestelia. A place we couldn’t cross easily because of all the Cerberus officers that patrolled it.

At the speed of the carriage, it would take us nine days on the road to get there. Either way, it was better than Alijah exerting himself and drawing attention to us. Our final stop wasn’t at the border itself, either way.

I had wormed my way out of a birthday meal with Aunty Amelia.

By now, my parents are aware I’m missing. Dad must’ve figured out I’m behind Alijah’s disappearance, too. That or Edna had beat them to it, and I went missing randomly—an implausible scenario.

That witch liked to play from the shadows, which made her move unlikely due to all the eyes there. If anything, her plan was for Alijah to kill everyone there, or perhaps she had another one. Either way, lingering anywhere wasn’t good.

The black wolf appeared wary about everything and everyone we encountered, including the merchant we hitched a ride with. Luckily, instead of running his mouth and getting us into trouble, he stayed by me, grumpily grumbling while keeping his distance from everyone else.

He was willing to give me a chance, but that was all it was. However, unlike him, I was utterly excited to be in a horse-powered carriage—something rare in Silverant, which had machinery for everything and was my hometown in Lyari.

I was too excited, though. Everything fascinated me, even the little things we saw. So I was exuding so much energy that by the sixth day, the merchant got stingy.

"Shut it already, or get off at the next stop! I can't stand your yapping anymore!" The half-elf huffed, leaving me sulking.

At that point, Alijah chuckled, sitting in one of the wooden seats near the entrance of the carriage. For the past few nights, I slept with this wolf every time he had a nightmare. Usually, it ended with me being shoved off, but two days ago, instead of finding my way while he groaned.

The grumpy wolf yanked me into the sleeping bag with him.

“Since you’re going to do it, anyway, dumb luma, you might as well sleep with me from the beginning.” He retorted, giving in to me.

We lay beside each other under the night sky by the campfire. Eventually, I slowly reached for his hand, intertwining my fingers with his. Instead of yanking away from me, he stared at me for a while before closing his eyes.

It felt like a win, but now that he was laughing at me, I felt like an idiot.

Are we getting along, or are you simply tolerating me?!

Grumbling, I headed back to my seat.

Although I do enjoy your pleasure, it comes at my expense. I wish I could be part of it instead of the source.

“You don’t need to like it that much,” I muttered.

Alijah continued to chuckle, “What? You being told to shut up? I enjoyed it very much. You’ve been going on about every stupid thing you see for days.” He pointed out, much to my annoyance.

Oh, you don’t need to be so rude!

“So what? I want to know everything there is to know about this world! Don’t you also want that?!” I argued, narrowing my eyes at him.

He shook his head before shrugging it off. It was evident to this wolf that the world was nothing interesting to see, and I wanted to change that.

“I’m just glad I’m not the only one who wants silence.” Alijah teased.

His words caused me to growl at him.

Do you have to be this irritating?!

“You—” I went to complain, only to be stopped by the cart hitting a bump on the road.

It caused me to lose my balance before I was expelled from the cart. The moment I was in the air, I was sent back to the moment I fell off the manor's roof. The only thing that stopped me from meeting with a serious injury was Alijah’s swift action.

Instinctively, he grabbed my hand, yanking me back into the safety of his arms.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t see that rock.” The merchant apologized from the front for the bump.

My breath hitched as I desperately clung to the wolf’s shirt. Every fiber of my being trembled while I held onto him. Those memories were still fresh in my mind.

What did I just…

“Geez, how can you be so stupid? Sit down in a moving cart!” Alijah growled, grabbing me by my shoulders.

His eyes opened wide when he noticed my state of mind. He picked up my gaze by grabbing my chin before I forced it back down to the wooden floor of the cart.

“Hey... are you okay?” The wolf breathed, erasing all traces of amusement from him.

I struggled to snap out of that moment as it felt like something wanted to come out of me again, and I tried to keep it buried down at all costs.

No… that’s… you can never see that!

“Oi, Rem!” he called out to me again.

I finally broke out, focusing on him. When my eyes met him, he noticed something alarming in me, cupping my cheeks and assessing me further.

“What the fuck? Your left eye is bleeding,” Alijah pointed, passing his thumb under it.

What?! Crap!

I yanked away quicker than lightning.

“I’m fine,” I assured him, heading to the back of the carriage to find a mirror.

“It doesn’t seem that way.” He followed behind me.

Ignoring him, I scavenged around the merchant’s goods until I found a mirror. The only bad part was that the grumps loomed over me, leaving me to find a small corner in the cart to keep his view obscured.

I assessed my eye, only to see it was almost entirely bloodshot.

Crap… These lens…

“I’m fine,” I sighed, tearing away from the mirror before he could see it.

It was hard to remove my contacts while he stood behind me. The second I took off my left eye lens, I noticed it was glowing red from the palm of my hand.

Damn it! Another complication!

“Rem, let me see,” Alijah growled.

Instantly, I covered my eye with my hand. The person I least wanted to see what was happening got closer, and if he saw this, then I...

Chapter Text

“Rem?” Alijah called out to me.

Fearing his approach and the ultimate rejection from him seeing my eyes, I shifted my eyes away from him.

This can’t happen, not when I finally get closer to you. I don’t want to lose it!

After all, no normal luma would ever have crimson eyes like him. Humans didn’t have naturally occurring red color orbs like vampires. Neither did Lycans.

You can’t see! You’ll know I’m of silver blood.

Even the blue in my other eye differed from those found in humans, allowing Alijah to piece together everything. This wolf was many things, but dumb wasn’t one.

“I said I’m fine. I just have to rest my eyes, that’s all. Something I did must’ve strained them.” I lied through my teeth.

It didn’t stop his approach.

Please... don’t...

“You know this is hilarious. How will I ever trust you if you won’t trust me?” He growled.

His words sting in my heart. I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying not to think too much about it.

If you see my eyes or hair, it’ll be all over! I can’t relent!

Sadly, once something was in the grumpy wolf’s mind, he wouldn’t relent. Instead of backing off, he took another step towards me.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, voice quivering.

He unexpectedly grabbed me by the shoulder, causing me to yelp in surprise.

“Show me,” Alijah ordered.

I tried to pull away from him but couldn’t. His grip was too firm this time. My head was scrambled, unable to make a coherent thought to argue with.

I’m not a fighter. I never was meant to be one, especially with my condition.

“No!” I yelled.

Alijah didn’t care for what I wanted, though. Forcing me against a chest the merchant used as storage, he pulled my chin to meet with his gaze. However, I held my eyes shut.

“Rem, stop being such a baby and let me see,” He growled.

However, the cart hit another rough bump before he could look closer, triggering us to tumble inside.

Instead of allowing me to hit the wall, he held me in his arms as his back was the one who slammed the hardwood. The blow caused him to hiss in response.

“Damn it! What the fuck was that?!” Alijah cursed, holding me close to him.

This time, the merchant was unresponsive. We were in the air the next moment as something smashed into the cart, sending us onto the ground outside. The scent of blood was in the air as everything that happened next was so fast.

Part of me couldn’t grasp it was even happening, even when we hit the ground. The black wolf held onto me protectively as we rolled on it, preventing me from injuring myself. In return, his arms and back were scrapped from the rocks we had spun on.

It was nothing too major for a Lycan such as himself, but he had protected me again—something I didn’t expect, leaving me wide open.

Why… did you…

Even though he desired to kill me, he kept me safe—a perfect contradiction to his previous words.

That fall… wouldn’t have killed me, you could’ve let me suffer, why… did you…

He sat me up, checking if I was injured at all. Out of breath, this wolf still…

Why?

Unable to help it, I smothered myself on his shirt, unable to swap gears quickly.

“Rem, it’s okay.” He breathed, grasping me by the back of my head and holding me close to his chest.

My body shook where I was as I held onto him. However, something caught his attention, triggering him to tug away from me. Everything had left me stunned as my brain struggled to follow everything that happened.

This... isn’t how…

“Alijah,” I called out as my body struggled to catch up.

“Shh…” He silenced me as he took a step towards the cart.

He flinched instantly, triggering me to reach to him as he reached to his neck. From it, he pulled out a small dart.

“What the…” He trailed off as his gait suddenly staggered.

“Ali… jah?” I mumbled as my shaking legs failed me.

“Rem... run.” The wolf struggled to say, falling on all four.

Instinctively, I jumped at him, allowing him to fall into my arms unconscious.

“Alijah!” I screamed.

My mind was lagging as it couldn’t figure out what was happening. Until I noticed the thing, he pulled out in his hands.

That… isn’t that one of Dad’s tranquilizers?!

Cerberus used them when they needed to control a raging Lycan.

Why’s one here?! I thought only…

Cerberus was supposed to be the only one to have them in their possession. My panic rose as my inexperience came into play.

This world… isn’t…

The smell of blood that filled the air wasn’t only from Alijah—someone else was also injured nearby. Even though I tried to build the puzzle of what was going on quickly, something hit my head the next moment, knocking me into darkness.

The following bits were dark while my consciousness struggled to keep up.

“Woah, Loren! You were right! He’s a mother fucking Lycan!” One raider said, yanking off Alijah’s hat.

I mumbled, unable to see anything coherent thanks to the blow my head endured. It had left me with a head-breaking headache. Even though I was healing, it wasn’t fast enough.

I… I…

The blow probably cracked my skull, too. It didn’t go deep enough to end me, but enough to disorientate me.

“Well, tracking them was worth it, then. He’ll bring big bucks! The boss will be glad!” Another noted.

My body refused to move as everything was too blurry for me to tell what was happening.

I can’t... let them…

“What about the other one?” A female raider with a familiar voice asked, placing their foot on my back.

Ah… is this a dream? Please… be a nightmare I’ll wake up from soon.

“Eh, leave her there. I dislike killing women, and taking her with us isn’t good. Lumas are useless to sell to the mainland. No demand equals no profit,” Another male answered.

The female took her foot off me, walking away.

Sell? No... it can’t be. No... I... Alijah!

The next moment, my consciousness wavered again, driving me into darkness. When my eyes flew open, an orb floated above me.

Are you okay, kid? The friendly ghost asked.

I groggily sat up, holding onto my throbbing head.

“Arg... What happened?” I asked, wincing.

The ghost flew towards the merchant’s severed body by the cart.

You got attacked by traffickers. He pointed out the obvious.

Peering around, I noticed something even more alarming.

Where is…

My heart dropped as I lost my cool.

“Alijah?!” I screamed, standing up from the ground only to receive no answer.

He was nowhere to be found.

Is that the Black Lycan? If it is, they took him, dear. The ghost informed, floating towards where they went before returning to me.

They dare take you away from me! Unforgivable…

“No... No... why?!” I screamed as loud as I could.

My blood boiled as every fiber in my being wanted to sink my teeth into those who had wronged me.

How can they take you?! Why?! This can’t happen! I won’t allow it!

I had left Alijah defenseless when I bonded him. He couldn’t use his power for anything, which was all my fault.

I should’ve known that we wouldn’t always meet friendly people. I was a fool. Damn it! Alijah...

They’re smugglers that come here from time to time. They probably took your pretty face friend to sell him and all the goodies inside the cart. You should have known that Lycans are very sought after here. The ghost notified me.

It was right. I knew that, so I wanted to hide Alijah until we exited Celestelia.

I thought… I did a good job, but… Damn it!

I had failed him in more ways than one, and worse yet, I had neutered the wolf within him, even if it meant protecting himself.

Argh! I never thought it was going to be needed unless we faced Cerberus. I’m so stupid!

That thought made me feel the urgency to find Alijah even more. Dad once spoke to Caden and Aiden about smugglers within Celestelia and on the mainland. He taught us they were people who abducted others to sell them off as sex slaves or worse.

My wolf couldn’t fall into that ever again. It would only solidify his beliefs in this world even more.

Not that you’re entirely wrong.

Dad and Mom had tried to change the world for the better, and they had, but not all evil was gone. Prejudice and hatred still prevailed in our time. I was a fool to forget because of all the love my family gave me.

“Oh, by the gods... I have to go.” I mumbled, unable to take a step without falling to the ground.

My legs were weak because of the emotions that were surging within me. The dread was soon joined by the rage that rushed through me as my Lycan blood boiled.

They have a hovercraft, which means they’re probably long gone and far from your reach. It continued to comment.

I glared at the orb.

That’s something I want to hear! You can’t be gone, Alijah! You can’t be!

“Then show me!” I ordered, standing up before taking a few steps toward the ghost.

It slowly backed away from me.

W-what? It stumbled, confused by my words.

I clasped my hands around its ethereal form, preventing its escape. My body gave off a purple in response to my emotions. I rarely used my magic because it made me unstable and vulnerable, but this wasn’t a time to be hesitant.

No, I have to be reckless if I want to find you! No, I have to find you!

“I said, show me!” I demanded, causing a boom of energy to erupt around me.

Images of what happened invaded my mind.

Hmm… Three unknown males.

However, what caught my attention the most was that the female hybrid we had seen in the town was also there. They had taken Alijah, traveling in a hovercraft filled with other victims. Somehow, that hybrid had made the black wolf back in the town.

Releasing the ghost from my grasp, more appeared, attracted by the magical essence erupting around me.

They are probably miles away by now. I need to…

I had no way to catch up unless I shifted. Every time my dad encouraged us to do so when we were children, I felt the darkness want to swallow me, stopping me in my tracks. I had lied and said I couldn’t shift because it terrified me of what would happen if I did.

That, combined with the blood lust that surged through me every time I used my powers, made me unable to control the beast within me.

I’ll lose control even if I don’t lose myself in death’s embrace, but I can’t just stand here and do nothing! To find you, I need to…

Closing my eyes, I let go of all the fears that held me back for years.

I need to… let go. What I’m about to do will endanger anyone in my path, but if I do nothing, I’ll lose Alijah. I’m sorry, Mom… Dad… but I can’t let that happen!

“If you are listening... I willingly give you my body. All I ask is his safety! I don’t care who you hurt if you take me to him!” I shouted into the empty desert.

Ghosts continued to gather around me. Images of Alijah in the cage with the other Lycans and elves became clearer. My body morphed, turning into my beast form for the first time. Well, before everything went dark.

Pictures of the black wolf continued to flow through me as I saw him wake up from the drug in his system. I felt connected to every ghost; my sole focus was finding him.

I’ll find you no matter what!

Even as something took over me and the darkness consumed my consciousness, I would find him... at all costs.

Chapter Text

The first thing that hit me was the dust that filled my nostrils. However, the smell of blood hit me right after. My head throbbed from the moment my eyes flew wide open. What caused me to lose consciousness still had a hold of me, leaving me to struggle to rise from where I was.

My vision was blurry, leaving my surroundings unknown to me.

Wait… What?

“Rem?” I mumbled, unable to feel her near me.

Instead of the little Luma I had gotten used to, I found myself in a cage with weird people I had never seen before. All my senses were a mess, too. At this point, I might’ve been hallucinating. Slowly sitting up, I noticed I wasn’t imagining things.

Though more worrisome were the weird cuffs around my wrist. I had seen nothing like them before. They were made of metal and had oval-shaped gemstones on each cuff.

“Hey, bud, are you awake? Who’s Rem? You’ve been yelling for them in your sleep.” A too-friendly elf asked from the corner of the cage.

I growled upon being addressed.

How long has it been? I can’t…

He also had cuffs with different stones from mine, each containing what appeared to be a moonstone.

“What?” I breathed, struggling to catch up.

Everything was so unfamiliar that I couldn’t understand most of what was happening.

One moment, I’m with that stupid Luma, and now she’s gone without a trace. Wait… Did we crash?

Throbs rushed through my body as my vision cleared enough to see that I was on a weird metal craft that was moving fast.

Wait… Didn’t we see one of those in that village? What did you call it? Ah… yes, a hovercraft.

Though it seemed familiar to the one we spotted in the village, we had stopped about six days ago. Everything was a blur as we passed by the scenery. I tried to get out of the cuffs, but they wouldn’t budge; instead, their gems would shimmer brightly every time I tried to use my strength, which left me feeling drained.

“Ah... the meds will soon lose their effect. When that happens, it’ll give you some more clarity.” The elf informed.

I continually tried to break out of the steel cuffs again, only to be futile. A curse left my lips soon after. Nothing I tried worked—something so easy to break out of in my time was impossible now. Astea, our world, seemed more dangerous with each year that passed.

Its inhabitants love inventing ways to suppress others, and whoever did this… is… Despicable.

“You won’t get out of those.” Another Lycan huffed.

Ah… there are three of us here.

Though there were many others chained in the cages in front and behind us, his words left me staring at the cuff, unable to link together how a piece of metal could keep me bound.

How can’t I break this hunk of metal? It’s not even made of elven fire, etanil.

That was the strongest metal in our world and rare in my time, but even then, when I awakened to my power, not even that could keep me bound.

Fuck, is it the bond or something else keeping me back? No, Rem told me I would still have my Lycan abilities.

The wolf in this cage didn’t have a bond.

Or at least I think that’s something unique to Rem. Where’s that annoying brat, anyway?

No matter where my eyes fell, I couldn’t see the little luma accompanying me for the past week.

“What the fuck are they, and where are we?” I asked warily, watching my surroundings, hoping to find her.

There were other women in another cage behind us, but not the luma I was looking for.

Why are you stuck in my mind? Why am I worried about you? Is it the bond? It has to be. There isn’t any other reason for you to be in my mind like this.

She was an annoying fly that was constantly around and couldn’t be swatted. I should’ve been grateful for the silence, but I felt odd. I didn’t know what it was.

That stupid luma better be alright, for both our sakes.

I hadn’t noticed that her presence had left an impact on me.

The world’s colder without you around. Your warmth and stupidity are… addictive.

“They’re absurd contractions inspired by the witch fucking our alpha. She and the spawn she brought into this world are a blight.” The male Lycan scoffed.

Wait, are you speaking about Lilith? A witch fucking an alpha... it has to be.

A sting crossed my chest, causing me to shake my head.

Did you create these cuffs? Hah, that’s something I can’t put past you. In your determination to protect those you love, you’d damn everyone else.

“It drains the moon’s power within us to where it weakens you. We’re no more than an average human with them on.” He added, rolling his eyes.

The moon elf nodded, raising his cuffs, which had another type of stone. It appeared purple and functioned the same way mine did, though, to him, it was to suppress his magic.

Lilith, you’ve become a clever witch. Not that I didn’t expect any less from you.

“As to where we are, I think we’ll all find out soon.” The elf added as the craft came to a stop soon after.

In an instant, the cages opened as someone came in and chained us all together before yanking us out into the dirt outside. Even though they were hybrids, I stopped acting too brainlessly, given the information I had.

However, I couldn’t help but look everywhere when they sat us down, hoping to find the only hybrid that mattered to me. Sadly, Rem was still nowhere to be seen.

You were with me when we fell out of the cart. When you were clinging to me so desperately… Argh, what have they done to you?

Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but wince.

No, this isn’t like me. Why am I worried about your stupid ass? I’ve only known you for a short time... All while you were an insufferable pain. Yet I... can’t understand it.

That annoying little luma plagued my thoughts, especially whenever she held my hand at night.

It must be the bond. Focus, Alijah, you need to get out of this first.

Shifting my priorities, I gazed around to identify our attackers. They were raiders, perhaps bandits, who hid their intentions for us. The desert dust the crafts had lifted was also making breathing hard.

My mind quickly wandered again.

Rem... where the fuck are you?

Something caught my eye while I tried to look around for her. The stupid little bag she always carried was being unloaded from the craft by a man I didn’t know, and it made my blood boil.

Why does he have that while you aren’t here?

I hadn’t felt this triggered by something since my first day returning to this world.

“You! Where’s the luma who had that?!” I growled, catching their attention.

Why is it irritating me so much?

The thought of anything happening to her made me want to kill everyone present. Upon hearing my question, the man holding the bag smirked at me. He was also a hybrid, a dhampir.

Half-vampire and human.

However, what was more concerning was that the bag he was holding had blood specks on it, but before I could say anything else, someone from behind me spoke instead of him.

“Oh, you mean your wife. She’s out in the desert with a cracked skull, bleeding to death right now, but I don’t care. Nor should you, hon.” The hybrid from the tavern declared.

The same fucking peredhil who wanted me to join her in a room. Her words caused me to glare at her as the rage swelled through me was unstoppable.

If I didn’t have the bond that Luma forced me into, I’d rip into you!

Rem dying or dead was something intolerable for me.

My strength will die with you! Ah… is this why I feel so anxious to be away from you? It has to be.

“You little—” I muttered, only to be interrupted when she grabbed me by my chin hard enough for me not to be able to break away.

If... only I could...

Her touch was worse than Rem’s ever was.

No… to compare her to you, that’d be…

The little Luma was warm and caring, yet this girl was cold, just like all the women that the elders sent my way when they drugged me. It turned my stomach upside down as I suppressed the urge to gag.

Why don’t I feel this way with you, Rem?

Ever since that day on the lake, something had changed within me.

Why didn’t I kill you the moment I saw you? Why did I hesitate? Fuck, this isn’t like me at all.

Thanks to that moment of weakness, I was in a predicament with no apparent way out.

Why did I feel like lightning struck me when I saw you? Fuck! That luma’s making me weak!

I had promised Lilith’s corpse never to let another woman touch my heart, yet I...

Why is this luma warming mine? This is a mistake. One I’m paying for now. Fuck, you better not be dead!

“Don’t worry, pretty boy. I’ll give you a better time than that luma ever did.” The disgusting peredhil tried to entice me.

Instead, I glowered at her before snickering. Even though I had never held Rem, this woman’s words rallied me against her.

“You’re nothing compared to her.” I snarled, spitting on her face.

For a moment, she appeared stunned by what I did, but she soon recovered, digging her fingers into my eyes. The pain was a wake-up reminder of how powerless I was again.

“Once I’m done with you. You’ll be an obedient wolf. How about you show me your actual eyes? I know you’re wearing contacts.” She scowled, scratching my eyes, taking off the lenses Rem gave me that was hiding away the crimson of my eyes.

I groaned in pain, feeling blood drip down my cheeks as she took little pity on me before the same to my other eye soon after. For a moment, I was blind, unable to see a single thing. My temperature rose as I felt nothing more than the desire to sink my teeth into the hybrid before me.

Something snapped within me as I couldn’t control my laughter. They trapped me, and that enraged me. My past…

I’m nothing more than a fucking prisoner again!

Chapter Text

“Hey, Loren! Don’t damage the goods!” Another raider yelled at the hybrid, assaulting me.

I could feel her shrug through the arm holding my face. A desire to rip them off surged through me.

Shit...

My breathing was uneven; I hadn’t felt physical pain in a long time, yet it was such a familiar sensation within me.

“He’ll heal. The cuffs don’t stop it but drain his strength.” The half-elf pointed out, loosening her grip on me and allowing me to snap my face away from her.

My healing factor was faster than normal Lycans.

Well, unless another wolf inflicted the wound, which this elf isn’t.

Luckily, Rem didn’t bind that away, but I suspected she could do nothing about it.

“Loren... I’m going to enjoy ripping into you.” I growled.

The simple thought of her blood quenching my throat was enough to tolerate my inability to act. My threat triggered her to smirk, licking her lips in anticipation. There was no doubt I was the new toy she had to break into, and that aroused her.

“And I into you, little wolf,” Loren smirked with a glimmer in her eyes.

If only you knew all the trail of bodies I had, surely you wouldn’t be looking at me like that.

This wasn’t my first time in chains, but it would be the last once I got out of them. When my fangs sunk into their flesh, I would revel in their pain, slowly making them suffer until death took them.

Ah… Nothing is better than seeing the light go out in their eyes. I’ll make you pay for doing this to me and for taking the opportunity for me to kill… that Luma. Fuck… Why... do I feel this way?

Rem... you better still be alive. If not, I’ll hunt you down in the afterlife and kill you either way.

“Oh... I didn’t know that Fenris had a bastard son.” The male raider who was holding Rem’s bag commented.

I growled instantly upon hearing his name.

Fenris...

The man who took my second chance at being happy.

I’ll surely end him if we meet again. Wait, did that man just call me his son?!

“What? That’s—” I stopped myself.

No… Stow it, Alijah; it’ll be worse if they know who I am.

Yet I couldn’t help but be disgusted by their conclusion of my origins either way.

“Eh, he isn’t silver-haired. It could’ve been some magical surgery. Every one of those Lycans fools adores their damned alpha. Maybe his parents did that to him in a moment of fanaticism.” The one that yelled at Loren noted.

She shrugged, “It doesn’t matter. The buyers will bid for him either way. He has such a pretty face, and when I’m done with him, he’ll please anyone on command.”

The half-elf smirked, sending shivers down my spine, before heading inside their camp. It was at the base of a mountain with a cave for their lair.

It's pretty well hidden, I’ll give you that.

Purebreds never gave a damn about hybrid affairs, even back in my era, but back then, Celestelia wasn’t this advanced. The sand at my feet made me wonder if Rem was lying in the desert bleeding, as Loren had said.

An ache rose, triggering me to wince before gazing towards the horizon.

Why do I feel sick to my stomach? The thought of you… hurt…

I could tell how pure her soul was from the days I was with the little Luma.

You don’t know how dreadful the world is, and now you’re bleeding out somewhere because you crossed paths with me. Ah… Fuck it, it’s not like I was planning on letting you live after I got out of your hex.

Yes, this is all because I want to be the one to snuff out your joy with my hands alone.

However, that thought made me wonder if my world was colder without Rem. My emotions conflicted, leaving me unsure of what to believe. Even though I felt anger toward her, I wanted to see her radiant smile again.

The innocence that you emit is intoxicating.

Her stupid stubbornness in getting close to me, with no ulterior motives—a warmth that threatened to consume me for the past three days.

Every time you lay next to me… Shit! Rem... please stay alive until I find you.

That thought wouldn’t linger for long as it wasn’t long before they moved every prisoner, including me, inside their lair. Instead of fighting them every inch of the way, I learned from my time being a captive in my era to be submissive.

Allowing them to think they had the upper hand was the trick to keeping my sanity intact while I waited for an opportunity to rise. The base itself was nothing special. However, an operation like this took decades for them to build.

There was only one way in and out, making it easy to defend but easily taken, with few escape opportunities. The only challenges were their numbers and the massive door by the entrance to their camp, which was within the cave itself.

Once I got free, I would kill everyone in sight before I made my escape. Every person I saw was a hybrid, no match to a purebred such as myself.

Even without my blood moon powers, I’ll be fine. All I need to do is find a way off these cuffs.

One thing I learned from my years as a captive was patience, yet it was running thin because of my bond bearer. It was the first time I felt a familiar sensation of losing something since my era’s Lilith.

The raiders led us to the primary room, where hundreds of prisoners were chained together while they excavated the cave for ores. That was a dreadful sight, though not uncommon for Celestelia. Children weren’t excluded, as most were young enough to be bred.

They probably sell the younglings to sick bastards, leaving those who don’t here to rot. Pitiful…

These people were walking skeletons, and some had croaked where they stood.

The rest of the flock will wither if they don’t clean up the bodies soon.

Back in my era, I killed everyone that came in my path. It didn’t matter to me who or what you were. Even though I would usually take my sweet time torturing my victims, children were the one thing I would grant a swift death.

After all, they are innocent, much like… Hah… It’s a little too late to feel guilty, Alijah; your hands are standing long before you make it to this era.

Kids were something I didn’t enjoy ending, but if I spared them, they’d grow up to be the same adults who abandoned me in that dreadful hole. Even in this era, death was better than the treatment they were getting.

Whenever the raiders got to cleaning up the mess, the bodies ended up in a trench nearby before being dumped into an underground river. Its waters could be heard roaring from where I was. That mining job wasn’t meant for me, though.

The new merchandise was taken to another cage away from the miners, primarily young women. When they closed the door behind us, everyone was silent. Sitting down, I closed my eyes, trying to calm down.

They still stung a bit from before, but the others in the cage had other plans.

“Are you okay?” the friendly elf from earlier asked me.

His words caused me to growl before glowering at him.

I don’t want to speak to or get to know anyone here. Especially a stupid moon elf who can’t get a fucking clue.

I only wanted to find a way to locate Rem, but that didn’t stop him from trying.

“Ah… Well, I hope someone finds us soon.” The elf tried to salvage the chatter after my hostile gesture.

Instead of answering him, I stayed silent. Sadly, the peace wouldn’t last, as one raider, who was unloading items, heard his plea. Unable to contain himself, the hybrid laughed loudly, slamming his hands onto the cage bars and making my ears ring.

I glared at him as he continued his cackling.

“No one’s coming for you or anyone else,” He snickered, watching the elf’s expressions change.

Even though the hybrid only did this to antagonize us, he was right.

No one’s coming for us. Especially for me...

No one ever cared enough to save me.

Probably the only one crazy enough is bleeding out onto the desert sand. Fuck... Why do you keep crossing my mind? Get out already!

“You’re wrong! I have a family who’ll come looking for me!” the Lycan shouted beside me, ticking me off.

Fuck! Do you need to scream? There isn’t any point in arguing. They aren’t wrong. We’re in the middle of nowhere.

All the surrounding noise was too much to bear.

Oh, how I wish I could silence them in one go. This is torture!

“Even if you do, they’ll never find you here and much less after I sell you to the highest bidder. Fluffy wolf ass sells high on the market, dearie, and if you don’t sell, well, you’ll end up like our leftover stock, working until you drop!” The raider informed, smirking.

This man reminded me of the elders who held me hostage back when I couldn’t defend myself. A soft chuckle left me, turning all eyes on me.

Oops... didn’t mean to do that. Ah… well…

I guess my mind wasn’t entirely sane in the end. The timeless prison was way better than this shit hole of a world, though.

At least there, in fleeting moments, I felt at peace.

“Pretty boy, what are you laughing about?” the raider asked.

I bit my lip, focusing my sight on him.

It seems everyone was calling me that. Fuck me and my charms.

Even though that wasn’t a nickname I liked, I didn’t want my name to come from them, either. A worse nickname came to mind.

‘Alijah-tan,’ just what the fuck is going through that girl’s mind every time she calls me that? Argh, there I go again, remembering… Ah… what would I give to hear that right now?

“Just thinking of ways. I’ll kill you after this.” I huffed.

The raider cackled, grabbing onto the cage bars.

They always enjoy feeling superior, but the higher they go, the harder they fall.

“Ah... like we did to your wife? The raid terrified poor little thing before Loren bashed her brains in!” He snapped, triggering a sting to rise in my chest.

Unforgivable, I’ll… I’ll end you!

“I’ll pay you double for that asshole!” I snarled, jerking the chains, unable to help the desire of my fangs to be around his throat.

His blood flowing down my throat would quench me right at this moment, but that satisfaction was far from me. Lycans from my era used to eat their prey, and I had feasted on mine. However, I wasn’t sure how they handled things in this era—something barbaric from the past isn’t present in today’s culture.

A wicked smirk rose on his lips as his eyes shimmered brightly, “Oh, leaving there was such a waste. If it weren’t for Derek, I would’ve brought her back here and had my way with her, even if she was cold by the end.”

You! I’ll—

The Lycan beside me gagged, unable to hold his revulsion. However, the feeling that grew within me was worse than wanting to hurl. His touch, tainting Rem’s body, left my mind shattering. It was better if she died in the desert than to suffer that fate.

Before I could say anything else, someone was ahead of me.

“You’re disgusting.” The elf glowered, eye shimmering, yet no magic would come while he had those cuffs.

However, another grabbed him by the shoulder before the filth could say anything.

“Stop bothering the merchandise and help us unload.” His fellow huffed before continuing his work.

Rolling eyes, the hybrid bothering us shifted his eyes toward the treasure trove they had to bring in. “Yeah, yeah, I’m going.” He mumbled, heading back to it.

For a moment, everything was quiet, but it wouldn’t last long. The people in the cage with me never found solace in silence; worse yet, they kept involving me.

“I’m sorry about your wife.” The elf sighed.

I still felt weird every time anyone called Rem my wife. Hoping they would leave it at that, I stayed quiet, but they seemed blind to all my cues not to socialize.

“It’s weird, though, if she was a Lycan. Why didn’t they bring her here like you?” The wolf asked me, tapping my leg with his foot.

I growled the moment he touched me, retreating it away from him.

Why don’t they leave me alone?! I must answer them, or they won’t drop it otherwise. Fucking annoying…

“She’s a Luma.” I scowled, shifting my eyes towards the outside of the cave.

Ignoring my cues of aggressivity, he continued to press on.

“Uh... Oh... What? How could you even marry one?” The wolf rasped.

His response didn’t surprise me.

Even in my time, hybrids were crapped on. Some were killed for simply existing.

Not that I ever partook in that. I mean, I killed everyone without bias.

“What?” I muttered, not liking his tone at all.

I should’ve ignored his bait for me.

“I mean, you’re a purebred Lycan, right? Why would you settle for trash? Like a hybrid girl? They are nothing more than a waste of space, especially the one out alpha bred down with that human.” the wolf huffed.

What the fuck is this man going on about? You are annoying, but you aren’t trash. Your warmth isn’t something to bad mouth.

Even though I tried to control myself, I couldn’t. When Rem was involved, my mind…

Chapter Text

Every fiber in my being flared as I couldn’t hold back my tongue any longer.

“Why would you call her that?! She’s—” I stopped, realizing what I was about to say.

Ah… Rem... You’re not good for me. Your smile... is probably gone now. My heart...

In it loomed a pain I didn’t know I could feel again.

Fuck, Rem... You can’t leave me like that. Just like Lilith...

“Just look at them. All hybrids are trash.” The Lycan scuffed, gazing at our captors.

I couldn’t help but growl at how he plotted everyone into the same boat.

Rem isn’t like that!

Whenever I rejected her touch, she stood up, giving me her radiant smile. She told me she would do it repeatedly until I got used to it—all to get rid of the nightmare that plagued me.

For dreams that I didn’t have while in that timeless prison. Now... You’re... Arg... stupid little Luma. How can you make me care and then leave like that? How will I fight with you again or hear your stupid little voice?

Rem’s time was too short.

I’ll make you pay double for taking something I found interesting away from me.

I already hated this world, and it was worse without her.

“Not her... Don’t you dare call her that!” I snapped.

Fuck… I guess I do care about you. Fuck!

The Lycan growled back, only to be stopped by the elf who stepped in between us.

“Hey, let’s not fight. That doesn’t matter anymore. She’s probably rotting somewhere, and we will join her soon. The life that awaits us isn’t a happy one. So, let’s be grateful she escaped that.” He sighed.

The life that awaited us wasn’t spectacular, but all I needed was a chance. However, the bond between me and Rem needed to break so I could end everyone’s suffering. This world was bitter, a winter grasp that froze everything around me.

How could I forget?

Before entering his era, my thoughts were usually full of Lilith, but all that popped into my head was Rem.

A stupid girl who is bleeding out while I can’t do anything about it: I have to accept that I’ll never see you again, but why does that thought sicken me so much?

A few hours passed while they unloaded all their goods, cheering a well-done heist. Every prisoner kept silent, fearing repercussions, as I closed my eyes, trying to keep my chaotic thoughts from crumbling.

For a moment, I thought I would be able to, but the screaming from other prisoners quickly broke me out of it. Part of me wanted to rage, break out, scream, but all that would ever do was make it worse.

Whenever I tried to be defiant to the elders, it would end in my misery. Even when I didn’t, it still ended in the same way. However, it wasn’t long before someone slammed the door open. It was Loren the peredhil.

Her brown eyes were full of glimmer when she walked over to me, smirking.

“Pretty boy, it’s time for your training,” she announced.

I chuckled at her words, unable to hold my amusement in. This elf was delusional, thinking she could tame the wolf that hadn’t been tamed in six thousand years. Nothing she could do would ever make me bow to anyone.

“Hah... so soon?” I sighed, rolling my eyes.

I didn’t want to make a scene like before, but it was hard to hold down my nature. Sadly, I didn’t like pain, although I enjoyed inflicting on others. The moment she unchained me from everyone else, I was tempted to slam into her, but that would’ve put me in a worse position.

Her fellows would’ve run over me like ants, and while cuffed, there was nothing I could do. So, instead, I let her lead me out with no trouble, trying to figure out my game plan. Unfortunately, nothing was in sight to help me out of my predicament.

Even if I got off the cuffs, the bond that Rem cursed me with prevented me from killing anyone. However, what happened next, I wouldn’t stay quiet.

Nope… Fuck this girl.

The blond bitch would fire me up in a way that I knew far too well. Loren led me to two pillars, each with chains attached through holes connected to a piece of machinery. It had other shackles with the same stones as mine had.

Did this wench prepare this for me?

She placed the new chains before releasing me from my previous binds, as someone on the side quickly pushed a button that yanked the chains, preventing me from going after her. My arms were pulled to the sides, leaving me wide open to the half-elf’s approach.

I guess you’re used to unruly Lycans. It seems no matter what I do, misery awaits me. Fuck, bring it bitch.

“Lady, you’re into some weird kinks.” I tugged on the chains, but it was no use.

Loren smirked, grabbing onto my face. The blood from earlier had already dried on my cheeks. Trailing her icy fingers on the streaks, she licked one of them, triggering me to growl loudly.

I want to rip your fucking throat out! You’re disgusting! You all are!

“Oh, you don’t know half of my kinks, pretty boy.” The elf purred.

Fuck... You’re insane, much like...

This peredhil was worse than any bitch the elders sent my way.

“How about you give me an idea of what’s in store for me, skank?” I asked, failing to hide my hostility.

Actually, I was wrong. I did have one bitch like you. You probably are on par with her wickedness.

A sadist who made my life a nightmare every time she walked through those doors and loved to share me with men, too. Not that the elders ever gave a fuck about me.

They only cared about whether I could give them pups, which never happened.

To answer my question, the half-elf drew a whip from her box. From the expressions of the prisoners who were there before I arrived, I could tell I was about to have a shitty time. Whipping it once in front of me, I could see it had barbs coming out of it.

Fuck...

My nerves were going haywire as my body shivered. Within the box were other toys she was dying to use on me, including some that were foreign to me, but I could guess what she wanted to do with them.

Yep, this bitch might be worse than the sadist.

“Is this good enough, pretty boy? The spikes are made with Lycan nails, making even you howl.” Loren smirked, taking a step towards me. “Don’t worry, I won’t touch your face. It’s your biggest selling point. Though you’ll probably heal either way.”

My body instinctively tensed up at her approach. However, I wouldn’t allow her to revel in my pain. One good thing I had developed was keeping things to myself. Even though Rem always found her way around it.

Eh… Why does that luma pop into my brain even at this very moment? Damn it, you’re worse than a plague set out by witches! Shit…

After the hours that had passed, there was no doubt in my mind she was dead right where they left her—a place I would probably never find.

“You already touched my face, crone. Don’t you remember trying to dig my eyes out?” I reminded her.

There was no point in keeping quiet when this awaited me. If I had known she was behind the whip, perhaps I would have controlled myself better, but the way she made me want to rip her to shreds was overwhelming.

She had also been the one to kill Rem.

Damn it…

“I won’t leave any scars, love, but you’ll hate this, and I’ll enjoy your cries of pain, pretty wolf. Later, I’ll savor you with my body before playing with everything you offer.” The repulsive peredhil said, ripping my shirt off.

The sudden breeze of cold air hit my skin, leaving me shivering where I stood.

Is it night?

We were in a desert, which usually cooled off when the moon graced it with its presence. However, it could have also been the cave, depending on how deep down we were. I wouldn’t keep that thought going, though.

No, when I felt her trail her fingers on my chest, I couldn’t help but feel all the hair in my body frizz up. This filth was enjoying my figure with her repulsive eyes and limbs. It would’ve brought me immense pleasure if I could rearrange her face.

Though the worst part was the feeling her skin left on mine, it was chilling. Closing my eyes, they quickly flew open when I felt her pull on my braid, guiding it towards my chest and away from my bareback before she got behind me.

The sudden sensation of the half-elf’s fingers on my back caused me to shudder again. She slowly dragged them down to my hips before grabbing my crotch. Instinctively, I growled loudly, gripping the chains that held my arms apart.

I hated this woman and her disgusting touch. I couldn’t help but relive the moments I was helpless when they ravished my body and did as they pleased with me.

Fuck! Fuck! I don’t…

“Do you have erectile dysfunction, pretty wolf? Is that why you were with that Luma?” Loren asked, stroking my groin.

A soft, broken chuckle left me before glaring at her. “My dick works fine. It doesn’t like sluts like you. My wife was much more appealing than you ever will be.”

The half-elf yanked my hair back in response to my words, making me groan in pain.

“Well, it’s a pity she’s long gone.” She breathed on my neck before licking it. “I’ll make you eat those words while you revel in pleasure under me, wolf.”

When she freed me from her grip, my breath hitched as I couldn’t keep myself quiet anymore. It wasn’t like it mattered anymore, either. The plans she had for me were…

“You touch me with that, and I swear I’ll—” I tried to threaten, only to be interrupted by her whipping me raw.

The instant my flesh was broken, it brought back memories as well as the electrifying agony that came with the blow. Flashes of my horrid past flowed through me as shivers ran down my spine. The warmth of blood trailing down my back left me feeling as if my legs wanted to give out.

No! I’d rather die than be someone’s puppet again!

“What was that?” Loren smirked, pulling her whip back before unleashing it on my bare skin again.

A gut-wrenching yelp left my lips as the barbs dug deep into my flesh, making it hard not to let out a sound.

“You’re a fucking tramp that will never be loved,” I muttered.

Like me, I’ll never know happiness, but at least…

My defiance only resulted in her whipping me again. This time, barely a sound left me as I finally got a grip on what to expect.

This is still not the worst thing that ever happened to me. No, that would’ve been when multiple men... Fuck! Why am I remembering this shit?! Get out of my head! You’re all dead, just like she will be once I—

“What? I couldn’t hear you, pretty boy.” Loren continued to snicker behind me.

I shook my head, yanking on the chains that held me, trying to break free to no avail.

“I’m going to make you suffer, fucking bitch. Wait until I get free!” I snarled only to receive another excruciating blow from her, prompting my knees to hit the floor.

It knocked every ounce of my breath away the moment it sliced my back again.

Shit! I can’t—

It had been so long since I felt pain like this. I had forgotten how hard it was to internalize it, but if I showed her anything, she would crush me.

Isn’t it right, Mori? Ah… How pathetic for me to find strength in what you did to me. But… if I can survive that… I can survive anything.

I could almost picture the red-haired Lycan bitch that loved to torture me until I cried.

“You’re prettiest when you cry, Alijah. Show me more.” Her voice triggered my entire body to tremble.

Please… No! I don’t… want to remember you.

“You try to be tough, but deep down, you’re a weak man! Maybe you’re hoping for a rescue, but I’ll snuffle that wish out!” Loren cackled from behind me as blood pooled under me.

Her words annoyed me more than they should have. I would’ve never been in this situation if I hadn't met that annoying Luma, but she probably would’ve come after me if she could.

Perhaps the only one in my life who would ever do so.

Lilith had her clinic, which she adored even more than me. While Rem, for some reason, was weirder than life itself.

They took you from me.

“You already did that.” I sighed, feeling my blood boil as I saw Rem before me.

You aren’t here, but in the short time we were together, you showed me…

It differed from when Lilith was killed in front of me. This girl was purer than she ever was, and they…

“You took the only person who would probably come looking for me!” I snapped, breathing irregularly as my eyes stung.

Why am I feeling like this?

I had only known that silly Luma for a week, yet something about her was different. She was the only one who showed me kindness and did not expect anything back from me, even when I pushed her down or cussed at her.

You kept coming back and showing me nothing but

“And for that, you fucking bitch. I’ll make sure you choke on your blood!” I howled.

My voice was shaky.

Rem...

Even though she was annoying as fuck, she was there for me for the past week.

A constant shining star that is just randomly snuffed out like that?! Are you kidding me?! Why did you come into my life just to leave it?! That isn’t…

Part of me felt weird.

Perhaps it’s delirium from blood loss and pain, but no… I think it started when I first saw you dancing in that lake. Why… didn’t I… want to kill you then? Why… did your kiss electrify me in ways I had never felt before?

“Oh honey, you’ll forget her soon. It’s good that you have no one to care about what’s happening to you. You’ll be all mine to tame!” Loren giggled.

Her declaration caused an annoying sting in my chest to get worse.

You aren’t the first psychopathic bitch to point this out to me. I know I’m alone, yet… it hurts more this time. Why? I barely knew you, Rem, but… somehow you… made me care for you.

Closing my eyes, I bit my lip to the point that blood trickled down my chin as something else streaked down my cheek.

Rem… I’m sorry, I couldn’t…

Enjoying my silence, Loren went to whip me again, only to be interrupted by a startling scream that erupted from the front door. A storm was coming, and it would break me in ways I never thought I could.

Chapter Text

Tension spread through the entire cave, and the raiders in front were terrified of what they had seen. Thankfully, my hearing was still good. With it, I could hear what the men were saying by the door.

“Close the door! That thing is a monster!” One man, along with a few other fellows, ran inside.

Closing the reinforced door of blaze-elven steel, etantil only took a second. The weird shimmer it gave off from its golden coat quickly distinguished it as the strongest metal known to date. However, to my destructive power, it was nothing more than sand in my way.

Loren cocked her head, standing next to me. Seeing her so close made me feel a burning passion to rip her apart slowly. However, any movement made my back ache as the wounds struggled to heal, thanks to the special whip she had used.

At least whatever was happening allowed me to catch my breath. However, breathing hurt a bit.

“Hey! What’s the matter?” Loren asked as a fellow raider came to her covered in blood.

It didn’t appear to be his as he was energetic, unlike me, whose body trembled at every slight moment.

Lucky you...

“There is an intruder! They are slaughtering everyone that crosses their path.” The raider informed Loren, leaving her jaw dropped as her eyes widened.

Everyone else seemed to reinforce the door by the entrance, wanting to keep whatever it was attacking outside. The thick metal door would keep anyone at bay, and perhaps they hoped the attacker would give up.

It's a good plan if it was a regular threat, but it doesn’t sound like that. Just what is… Argh… I don’t need any more complications.

“What do you mean, an intruder? No one came after us! Roy ensured there wasn’t anyone around when we did our job! We covered our tracks like always!” The half-elf defended her gang.

The experience didn’t stop mistakes, though.

I mean, look at me. I’m six thousand years old, and a silly little Luma tricked me. Pathetic…

“Well, Roy’s dead, and it’s not Cerberus or anyone I know. They don’t come in killing as this beast is doing. It’s a fucking silver Lycan, but smaller than the usual ones we see. I don’t—” Her companion paused, shaking his head.

“Nothing we tried stopped it!” He continued to inform her.

Is this bitch the highest-ranking officer or something?

Suddenly, the peredhil wasn’t focused on me as the information being spewed out was helpful if I ever planned to get out of these bounds, but something else caught my attention.

A silver-hair wolf… It can’t be Fenris? No… They said it’s a small one. There is no way their alpha would have a tiny frame.

“Did you try sedatives? Iris?” Loren continued to query.

The raider continued to answer her.

“It moves too fast to land any! I think Lloyd hit it with an Iris shot, but it did nothing!” He snapped, clenching his fists.

Iris? Sedatives? What the fuck are they talking about? Had they used something like that when they knocked me out?

I didn’t know then, but humans used alchemy to make sedatives for different races. This was a science I knew nothing about, and it was too complicated for me to understand, too, but I guess it was their type of magic—one they had developed through time.

“Moonstone traps?” She mumbled, scrunching her eyes.

“Nothing worked, or it didn’t hit, Loren! We aren’t stupid!” The raider huffed, crossing his arms.

I chuckled at his subordination directed to the half-elf, “It seems your whipping isn’t as effective as you think if you're losing your footing at the thought of a mere threat.”

“Why you—” She glared at me.

However, someone walked towards us before she could retaliate—a Luma just like Rem.

“Maybe it’s already under the effects of Iris. These doors should hold.” The new raider informed the group, bringing the calm before the storm.

Wait… Is Iris a type of wolfsbane?

It sounded like it from how they spoke about it if they had that there.

Fuck... getting out will be more than an issue than I first thought. Just who are these people?

In my time, Celestelia had stuff like this going on, but not to the extent of bandits having them. Then again, hatred was present in these hybrids' eyes, especially when they gazed at another purebred.

Loren appeared to melt the moment she saw the luma, though.

A complete circle in posture and personality, this one is a viper.

“Lucan!” Loren grabbed onto his arm, triggering the Luma to smile at her.

Lover? Leader? Why would anyone ever find her touch pleasant?

“That wolf isn’t like any normal one I’ve seen, boss. It’s radiating some weird black crap. I think it was muttering a name, too.” The bloodied raider informed, bowing down to the new arrival.

At least he answered one of my many questions, but it wasn’t the only one that was popping into my mind.

Just what’s outside of those doors that’s freaking them out so much?

They seemed like a capable bunch.

How would a normal Lycan cause that much trouble to an experienced group as themselves?

Although the fact it was radiating black aura was weird indeed.

“Did you make out whose name?” Lucan asked, shifting his eyes towards the door, keeping us safe.

“Uh… Aliga, something, I don’t know, man! I was just running for my life!” He answered, shaking his head.

That was when the beast slammed hard on the metal door, startling even me. Whatever was out there was strong enough to dent the door with one hit.

No normal Lycan can do that. Bone, yes; thick Blaze metal, not so much.

It was why thick chains held us even during full moons. Although to me, if I were in full power, that door would be a breeze.

Can it really be Fenris?!

He was the only one who shared my ability.

“Aliga? Who the fuck is that?” The male Luma muttered, eyes gaping wide.

As I had said, this was a simple place to defend, but a graveyard if they found the wrong enemy.

Whoever Aliga is… seems to be fucked.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! It’s going to come in!” The startled raider cursed loudly; his hands were trembling.

The being outside slammed again into the door, creating another dent.

Crap…

“Impossible! We made those doors of etantil ore. They’re thicker than a fucking airship!” Lucan pointed out.

“Fuck! I think they sold you a defective product, boss!” the raider quaked where he stood.

Whatever he saw had seriously scared him, and I was defenseless to stop it from tearing into me if it wanted to. Noticing how the door was beginning to cave in, I used my strength to try and break free.

The raiders ignored me, worried more about what was before them. It was futile, though. The stones were draining my strength, and the blows to my back had made me fragile.

“Shit! Get ready!” Loren announced, running to her toolbox of horrors to find a better weapon than a whip.

The door fell apart a second later, leaving people to shriek in horror as the beast made its way inside. Before I knew what was happening, more screaming and screeching erupted from the front as they fell to the monster.

I was stuck in the back, witnessing the carnage unfold. Loren froze in place upon hearing their cries as I couldn’t rip my eyes from the slaughter that was happening in front of us. It didn’t matter if one was a prisoner or a raider; that wolf tore through them in the blink of an eye.

Weird, colorful orbs appeared around the environment as they concentrated around me.

Over here! Over here! We’ve found you! The orbs whispered, all in unfamiliar tones.

What the fuck are they, and why have they found me?

Lucan took a sword out of its sheath in preparation as the wolf that slaughtered everyone in sight made its way to where we were at incredible speeds. It left no one alive in its path; innocent or guilty, they were all torn through.

The only ones who were stuck in cages were the ones who remained safe if they kept quiet. The closer it got to me, the more it spilled blood as its howl wasn’t one of this world either.

Whatever is making its way to us isn’t a normal Lycan. Fuck, it isn’t a blood moon either!

They had called it silver blood, but it was covered in blood from head to toe, turning its fur crimson. Its body radiated a darkness that I couldn’t identify, and its eyes were two different colors—bright crimson and neon blue.

There was a weak purple aura emanating from its body. The raider was right when they said it wasn’t the size of a normal Lycan. No, it was much smaller yet deadlier than anything I had ever seen.

Just my luck. I came into this world to get bound to someone I barely knew. This person forced their way into my life, then died in some desert, and I got kidnapped and then whipped. Now, I’m about to be eaten alive by a crazed wolf demon.

My life was crap, no matter what way I saw it. I guess it was better to die than become a slave to someone’s pleasure again.

“Ali... jah... Whe…re… are…” The wolf muttered irreconcilably, yet set my heart to beat faster than it had in years.

Did you just say my name?

The moment the bloody Lycan came close to us, Lucan engaged it. He lasted less than a second as his head was removed from his body in a blink of an eye. The Lycan had pounced on him faster than he swung his blade.

The dead luma’s blood splattered all over the floor, triggering Loren to shriek before running behind me.

Do you want to use me as a shield? Such a stupid bitch, it’s futile that wolf…

Her other comrade was brutally mauled in front of us when he tried to make a run for it. The wolf ripped their limbs from their bodies. Their bones cracked with each bite, prompting the sounds to echo loudly throughout the cave.

Blood dripped from its jaw as it slowly turned towards me before cocking its head at me.

“Ali... jah,” it mumbled again, stepping towards me.

Its paws dug into the gravel below us as it came closer, and my heart froze.

Why… are you… familiar?

Unable to help it, I leaned back from it, feeling vulnerable to its approach, but I was stuck in place. My survival instinct told me to run away, and my entire body shivered, unable to help it.

This wolf… isn’t like anything I have ever seen, but why don’t I sense… any hostility?

The bloody beast appeared to be focused on me, slowly making its way.

Why are you looking at me with tender eyes?

“Woah... There... Stop right where you are. Let’s not do something we’ll regret.” I sputtered as the wolf tilted its head.

Fresh blood still dripped from its body as it left a trail of death in its tracks. The colorful spheres concentrated around us even more as the beast got close. I had never seen fairies, but they were close to what my mother once described.

We found you! Voices continued to erupt around us.

Just what the fuck is going on? Why is my heart beating in excitement, too? You… Who are you?

When the wolf was close enough to me, Loren made her move.

“If it’s the Lycan you want, you can have him!” The blond bitch yelled, pressing a button that caused the chains to fall out of the pillars next to me, making a loud noise as they slammed into the ground.

The suddenness made the wolf growl loudly before it launched towards us. Unable to help it, I flinched as its teeth never found me. It had swiftly jumped over me and towards the Peredhil. Her screeches filled the air as the survivors in cages watched on, trembling without making a singular sound.

The wolf tore into Loren, worse than it did for the rest, and unlike the others, who it killed swiftly, it dug its nails into her, ripping her abdomen open before spilling her contents onto the floor. It then mauled her face, leaving her alive as it walked away.

I could hear gurgles from the half-elf, who was still breathing but unable to move.

Fuck… What are you going to do to me?

The entire thing had left me frozen on my knees. I thought of running as fast as I could for a moment, but that would’ve been useless. The chains would drag on the floor, calling the wolf straight to me.

My fate seems to be sealed. What a crappy life I’ve had. Perhaps my death will bring me more peace.

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, slightly turning away.

There’s no way out of this one, Alijah. It’s after you for some reason, so just brace for the pain. It’ll pass soon. Ah… at least I’ll join you soon, Rem. Will I kill you for doing this in our afterlife or… what will I…

Holding my eyes shut, I prepared myself to feel a pain like no other. After that, I would feel the sweet embrace of death consume me. Instead of agony, my eyes flew open as someone grabbed me from behind.

It was no fangs or claws, but arms wrapped around me ever so tenderly. Their skin on mine was so warm—something I didn’t expect, leaving me speechless. Instinctively, I knew the body was one of a woman as the roundness of her bosom pressed against my back.

Her slender hands grasped my chest as she embraced me tightly.

What... is happening?

“Ali... jah,” A too-familiar voice mumbled from behind me.

Hearing her broke me into pieces.

How... why...

A sense of relief washed over me, even though I didn’t know how she found me.

“Rem?!” I called out, grasping her arms before turning towards her.

There, I saw those same vibrant eyes from before gazing at me as a grin soon appeared on her lips. Her transformation had ripped her clothes apart, leaving her bare. Her clothes weren’t enchanted to survive the shift between states.

It was common for lumas who couldn’t transform to forgo wearing any magical clothes. Even though I felt like the world was lifted from my shoulders, something about the little luma in front of me wasn’t right, and it didn’t involve her lack of clothes.

The darkness that radiated from her was overwhelming, pooling under her before it faded. The sinister aura emanating from her core overran even my senses.

What the fuck?

Grabbing her face, I gently wiped some of the blood on her cheeks with my thumbs. I could tell she wasn’t entirely there. Her smile wasn’t radiant like the ones she had before; it was cold and meaningless.

The moment one prisoner within the cages made a noise, her demeanor changed as the murderous intent I felt coming from her toward them was surreal.

Just what are you, Rem?

A sharp growl snapped me from my train of thought as she was about to shift again. Instinctively, I hugged her to prevent her from doing so. I didn’t know if she would go on a rampage, even forgetting me in her path of carnage.

The instant I moved to embrace the little Luma, she turned her attention back towards me as that same aura slowly dissipated. A soft hum left her lips as she snuggled onto my chest, triggering me to hold onto her head, securing it in place.

“Rem… It’s okay. I’m okay.” I whispered, unsure of how to feel.

I didn’t know if I should treat her gently or let her rampage. Though what I knew…

You came for me! Hah, you really are… something, aren’t you?

Questions bombarded my mind—matters only she could answer, although I had suspicions about who she was. Even drenched in blood, her hair still had silver strands and brown horizontal stripes. It didn’t appear to be dyed as it wasn’t fragile, and it wasn’t like it would’ve changed her fur in her wolf form—just the head.

You… hid because you knew how much I hate silver blood Lycans. Yet I…

Her hair was massively matted, thanks to the wig she used.

When was the last time you took care of it? Stupid luma…

Slowly, the darkness that threatened to consume Rem quelled as I noticed a cute tail forming from her bum.

Did you even hide that while you slept? How uncomfortable must you have been?

You have a crimson eye and a Luma, meaning you’re Fenris's offspring. Are you Lilith’s kid, too?

This luma could come from one of the alpha’s whores, too. If he had any, which I doubted. When I saw Lilith twenty years ago, she was heavily pregnant, and this girl appeared to be in her late teens or early twenties.

Is the girl in my arms your daughter, Lilith? Shit... Rem...

Even though she was a silver-blood wolf, I couldn’t bring myself to hate her, not after coming after me like this.

Why are you trying to crawl into this bitter heart of mine? Please stop trying to make it beat. I don’t know if I can survive losing this warmth again. No… I never had… this before.

Not even the Lilith from my era made me feel like this. However, there was more to this than I realized. This Luma was…

Just what are you, Rem?

Chapter Text

Our contract’s complete. I’ll see you again soon. A voice I never heard announced.

I felt like an immense weight on me slowly dissipated as my muddled vision slowly cleared some. Every centimeter of my body ached as my memories of everything that happened were fuzzy. However, what was worse was the taste of iron in my mouth—the very familiar taste of blood.

Part of me knew what had happened and what I had done from that alone.

Again… I…

This time differed from the last time I was fully possessed.

I let it happen, but was there any other way?

It didn’t matter, as there was no excuse this time.

The curses hold on me… No… the beast within me is too hard to control.

Shivers ran down my spine as my memory was more intact than the last time I had lost control. Slowly, everything I did was clear to me. A sudden flash of nausea rose through my being as every memory that I pieced together made me feel off.

The only soothing touch was Alijah’s arms, and I couldn’t help but snuggle up against his warm chest.

Ah… I found you.

His heartbeat was soothing to my soul, yet it didn’t change what I had done to find him. The desire to empty my stomach grew, as it wouldn’t be long until I did. However, something else was worrying me more than all the people I had slaughtered and partially devoured, which didn’t allow me to enjoy the moment I found myself in.

With the broken pieces returning to me, I realized Alijah had seen everything. He knew what I was, or at least had an idea, while I had no clue how he would react after the initial shock. However, my ears were quickly flooded with all the voices of the dead around me.

They were finally out of my influence, allowing them to remark on my actions.

I had no choice! I had to save him! If it’s your life, it costs, I’m sorry, but I had to!

Even though I tried to justify it to myself, it didn’t change that I was nothing more than a rampaging beast in my wolf form. Luma’s usually suffered from controlling the beast within them, but mine had a mind of its own.

“Rem?” Alijah called for me when I raised my hands to my ears to silence the voices.

It didn’t work, though. It never did. This time, though, it was unbearable. Too many ghosts were around compared to the ones from the day I died. And I couldn’t stop their comments from coming forward.

Killer.

How dare you do this to me?

You monster!

Harbinger of death!

How could you kill everyone? They were just innocent!

Their voices united in one front. They all pointed out the aberration I was. My thoughts were slowly becoming distorted as I couldn’t connect with them. To me, these people were faceless; even though they were important to someone else, I couldn’t feel what they wanted me to.

That was a luxury taken from me at birth.

No! I’m not a monster! I couldn’t let Alijah suffer! If… you were in my place, you would’ve done everything to save the person you love! I would even sign my life away for him!

The ghosts bombarded me while I lost it. Even though I was guilty of their deaths, their words were meaningless. It wasn’t like I could stop it. The curse within me made me lose myself to the feeling whenever I morphed, but that wasn’t their fault either.

I was the one who unleashed the beast within me to find my beloved wolf. That wouldn’t change even if I weren’t fully there, but at the same time, no one was ever coming to save them.

Celestelia is known for its constant smugglers and slavers; perhaps death was, in many ways, a mercy for these people.

“Shut up!” I yelled, digging my fingernails into my ears.

If only I could rip them off and be deaf! Perhaps I wouldn’t hear you anymore!

However, before I could…

“Rem, it’s okay. Calm down,” Alijah said, grabbing my face and dragging my gaze onto his.

You did all that for a man who doesn’t even love you! How dare you! The otherworldly beings continued.

Ah… I can’t… Even if…

Tears rolled down my eyes because the voices were so overwhelming. His voice was louder than the souls surrounding us but simultaneously the weakest.

“Please stop! I had no choice! I had no choice!” I cried, closing my eyes, wishing nothing more than to hide.

“Ah… Fuck,” Alijah sighed, letting me go.

He gazed at Loren before standing up and heading towards her. Leaving me behind to deal with my demons, I felt like I was drowning in them.

“Well, aren’t you in a pickle little bitch.” He growled, kneeling beside the mauled peredhil as gurgles filled the surrounding air.

One would think he would’ve gotten his payback there, but instead of focusing on that, he searched for keys to open his cuffs in her pocket. After the metal binds that held him hit the floor, he returned to me, cupping my cheeks in his hands.

His touch was so warm that it left me wide open.

Why…

“Rem… free me for a moment,” Alijah announced, meeting me on my level.

Unable to help it, I grabbed his arms with my shaking hands. They were bleeding along with my feet, thanks to all the running I did to get there. A raider shot me with an Iris syringe, thinking it would eventually stop me, but all it did was slow down my healing.

Iris was created by the deadly witch Stella, my great-grandmother, an alternative wolfsbane that was deadlier to Lycans. It was her vengeance to all Lycans for taking my grandmother from her. Luckily, because of the effects of the soul cairn and the fact that it was made with witchcraft and magic, I was somewhat immune to it.

It made my healing slower than usual, which was better than going rampant and dying soon after like normal Lycans.

“What?” I sobbed, holding onto him for dear life.

This wolf suddenly became the only life-saving vessel within the ocean of souls that threatened to drown me.

“Please, let me use the red moon for a few seconds.” Alijah gently traced his thumb on my cheek.

“Okay… do what you want,” I whispered, leaning into his touch.

He smiled, feeling the bond’s grip fade as his power was finally unleashed.

“Good girl,” the gentle wolf whispered, drawing me back into his embrace.

This time, though, his body glowed bright red, suppressing the magic flowing through me. The voices became muffled, allowing me to think clearly.

I grabbed onto him tighter because of it. Unlike Vera, my sister, I had too much Lycan in my blood to stabilize my magic by myself. I also had too much human to be a normal Lycan like my brothers.

Dad had done this once before when I started seeing the orbs, but it only worked when he or my brothers were around me. Their aura that canceled magic suppressed mine enough to ease me for the moment they were around me.

The only visible ghosts were the ones in the perimeter of Alijah’s reach.

“I have felt nothing like this. So, I don’t know how long I can hold it at bay or if it’ll be effective. Tell me, is it working?” Alijah asked, allowing me to snuggle up to him.

“Thank you,” I simpered, enjoying his warmth alone.

However, it wasn’t long until I noticed a weird breeze hitting me where it shouldn’t have. My eyes open wide upon realizing…

Oh… I’m… well… I’m naked!

A burning sensation rose on my cheeks as they wanted to fall off.

Wait… Alijah isn’t making a big deal about it. So, why should I? That’s right… I’m… not someone who interests you at all.

“Stupid girl,” He sighed, locking me in place.

As everything settled down, I couldn’t help but gaze at the peredhil who had tortured him. With my magic, I could see everything she did; there was no better payback than to let her suffer as she faded, yet it reminded me of everything I did.

“Alijah, kill… her if you want to,” I mumbled, resting my forehead on his warm chest.

His arms were still around me while his tail curled around my waist. He placed his hand on the back of my head to secure me in place, and then he turned to face Loren. I wasn’t sure if what happened to that half-elf was me or the beast within me, but I knew if I were in found mind, I would’ve ripped her throat out.

Because of you… this all happened because of you!

“Eh… I think you did plenty. Let her rot there.” Alijah shrugged.

It was like he wanted to stay near me. Perhaps he was scared I would lose control and hurt him, which I would never allow. The only way that would happen was if I lost myself entirely in death’s grip.

However, I had to concentrate on him alone, not to hurt him, or else he probably had been one of the many who died by my hand.

Life is so fragile, yet the only thing I care about right now is that I’m with you again. I really am…

A memory flowed through me as I struggled to control the anger that unleashed the trapped wolf within me.

“I… I didn’t…” I trailed off, noticing blood on my hands.

What did I…

“You aren’t right the head, Rem! Curse or not, this doesn’t excuse you!” Vera yelled, turning away from me after I had shoved her to the floor.

My nails had scratched her arm, marking one of the many times we had clashed. However, this was the first time I drew blood, marking me as a danger to everyone around me.

Wincing back into the present, I slowly realized everything that had happened, including a slight misstep I had to correct.

“Alijah…” I mumbled.

“Hm?” he hummed, trailing his fingers down my matted hair as I closed my eyes.

I wasn’t ready to give him free rein in his power, especially since he knew about me. My tail slowly curled around his, causing him to gaze down towards it.

“You can only use power on me and can’t kill anyone,” I corrected my previous slip.

It was a hypocritical command since I had just murdered people in my path, but he had to remain clean in this era.

For your freedom, you can’t kill innocent, even if I… do.

He growled immediately after hearing that as the bond took effect.

“Oi… You little—” the grumpy wolf went to complain, only to be interrupted by me tugging away from his embrace, wishing nothing more than to avoid the shove I had come to expect from him.

However, instead of that, his cheeks went slightly pink when he saw my bare body as I pulled away.

Huh? Do you react like this every time? Or is it because it’s unexpected?

I didn’t have time to think thoroughly. Sadly, my stomach couldn’t hold its contents any longer.

“I feel sick,” I announced, feeling shivers run down my spine before dragging myself entirely away to expel my stomach contents onto the floor next to us.

It almost looked like I had vomited blood out, but what was worse was the flesh that was in it as well.

Is that a finger? Oh... By the gods... I’m a savage.

Though, what was worse was I felt no guilt for their deaths. I couldn’t feel a thing for them if I didn’t hear them. Their voices annoyed me because of how constant they were. Though I knew it wasn’t good I had killed, I couldn’t feel sad about their deaths.

I didn’t know if it was part of the curse or because of who I was.

Vera, perhaps there is something wrong with me. Something I can’t fix quickly, but maybe with Edna’s death, I’ll finally be free.

“Oi!” Alijah worried, placing his hand on my back. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head as my tail curled over my privates. A soft sigh left his lips as he peered to find anything to cover me. Luckily, he used a cloth nearby to cover my bare skin. However, I continued to puke until my stomach was empty, which left me gasping for air.

“It’s okay, Rem. Let it all out.” Alijah tried to comfort me, soothing my back once again.

After nothing else came out of me, my wolf slowly helped me into his arms as my battered feet couldn’t handle my weight anymore. He picked me up immediately at the first sign of discomfort before placing me on a chair near some cages.

Most of the cages remained intact, and those who drew my attention weren’t as lucky. However, everyone’s eyes were on us as Alijah didn’t care for the carnage I had brought into this cave. Not only had he laid waste to much more than I had, but his era was filled with war.

Violence doesn’t affect you, but that’s because you were exposed to it since you were a child, but I… I… I don’t have that excuse.

Covering myself better with the cloth he gave me, I tried not to think too much about what happened. After all, I had no choice; it was either them or him, and I would never allow him to suffer his past again.

Some might see it as cruel, but I could only care for those I knew.

Family, friends, and Alijah…

However, something other than pure affection drove me to this black wolf. The thought of losing him was maddening to the point I’d trade lives even if it were wrong.

You’re more precious to me than my family. Why is that? Don’t get me wrong, I’d give anything for them, but I’d destroy anyone in my path for you, Alijah. Even if you end up hating me, I’d…

When he went to find some clothing for me, the ghosts returned, but a bit more tolerable than before. Luckily, he only took a few minutes to return to me, but it felt like an eternity. My body shuddered from exhaustion while my mind felt like it could shatter at any moment.

Sadly, everything had left me unstable, and seeing the wounds on his back from the whip used by that peredhil made me boil inside. His face still had the streaks of blood from her first assault on him. Luckily, it healed already, and his back was almost fully sealed.

In his hands were our bags and bandages for my aching limbs. Although we both had a pair of spare clothes, it would’ve been a waste to use them on our bloody bodies. That would have to wait until we found a place to bathe in,

My stomach was still sensitive, and I had to leave there. I went to stand up after Alijah helped me treat my wounds, only for him to take a few steps away from me.

I have to walk, but it hurts. Either way, I doubt…

I went to take a step only for the wolf before me to shift, triggering my eyes to widen as he laid on his belly for me to climb on him.

Really? I can…

My heart skipped a beat, and I reached out to him, only to stop when a prisoner within a cage moved.

Ah… We can’t just go, can we? No… The right thing to do is…

“Hey… Did you find a key while you were looking around?” I asked, gazing towards the cages.

After all that carnage, the least I could do was let them go free.

“What?” Alijah mumbled, following my gaze.

Even though I didn’t feel what I should for all the deaths I caused. I remembered Vera’s words and had to balance the scales somehow.

Letting them free will be the first step towards that. After all, if I leave them like that, they’ll stave to death.

“You know what I mean,” I sighed, triggering his eyes to roll.

To him, they were better behind bars or dead. Noticing he wouldn’t help, I struggled to walk towards where he had come from and away from him. He quickly shifted back into his humanoid form before grabbing onto my hand.

Suddenly, my wolf yanked me towards him as I lost my balance, only to be caught by him.

“What do you think you’re doing? You don’t know these people or owe them anything.” He held onto me.

I pushed myself away, only to wince as stings arose in my palms.

“I can’t leave them there either.” I challenged.

This was more for me than for him or them. It was the only way I knew how to help through my lack of remorse. After all, I’d do it again if I had to. My wolf’s grip tightened, holding me to his chest.

“You don’t need to save everyone, Rem,” Alijah growled.

That isn’t my intention.

I sighed. “Stupid wolf, I never wanted to save everyone, just you, and I already killed most of them. The least I could do is free the survivors.”

“Hah, fine.” He grumbled, letting me go before walking towards a dead male luma’s body.

He took multiple keys from his pocket and went inside. A few cages survived; however, he opened one with a male Lycan and an elf.

“Here, release everyone else.” He huffed at the moon elf, whose eyes shifted towards me.

Even though I stood away from them, they appeared wary of me—a normal response to something like me.

“Is that your wife?” He asked him, picking up the keys.

The elf’s words resonated within me, triggering my heart to sting. The lie seemed still persistent—a blissful wish that would never come true.

I... will never be the grump’s wife. That’s only in my dreams.

“Yep, she’s my wife, and we’re leaving,” Alijah announced, prompting my heart to flutter.

Why did you agree? I’m… not...

“Happy?” He huffed, crossing his arms.

I smiled, nodding my head. “Yes. Thank you.”

However, before he could shift to make our getaway, the elf appeared to have found his freedom. How he picked the right key from all of those was beyond me.

“Wait!” He shouted, throwing the keys to the Lycan beside him before running towards us.

I turned to face him, bewildered at why he approached us, as the black wolf next to me growled, lowering his ears.

“I just wanted to thank you. Rem, was it?” The elf announced.

“I did nothing deserving of thanks,” I answered, not wanting to face him.

The elf seemed too grateful for what I had done, yet he had lost no one and gained his life.

“You saved us. Of course, I have to thank you.” The friendly elf pointed out.

However, that wasn’t the case for the Lycan, who burst out of his cuffs before launching at me. Luckily, Alijah intercepted him by slamming the attacker into the ground in his wolf form.

“You! You’re the fucking demon child that witch spawn! Because of you, my son is lost to me! There is no way I’ll ever find him in this mess you’ve made!” the Lycan snarled from below the black wolf.

“Shut up!” Alijah growled as I stood there dumbfounded.

“What? I…” I mumbled, unable to remember every face I slaughtered on my way to Alijah.

Sadly, I couldn’t control my blood lust when I was in my beast form. No, I was nothing but a monster while in it.

Was one of them your son? Or did I destroy any leads to find him? I…

It was a foolish plan to get captured on purpose with no way out. Then again, parents were desperate to protect their offspring. There were pits filled with bodies before I even arrived. There was no way to know if I was the cause of his pain or the escape, but it didn’t change the fact that I wasn’t innocent.

Alijah pressed his paw on the wolf's throat, silencing him.

“Say one more thing, and I’ll crush your windpipe.” He warned.

It was an empty one, though. He couldn’t kill anyone unless I allowed him to. His body gave off a red hue, alerting me that his emotions to protect me were affecting the bond—something I couldn’t allow.

Why would you genuinely want to protect me? Haven’t you realized I’m a silver blood? Nothing makes… sense…

“Stop… Let’s go.” I ordered, not wanting to cause any more problems for anyone.

Alijah hesitantly let go of the Lycan before shifting his gaze towards me. It wasn’t long until I was on his back before we both bolted out of the cavern and into the unknown that awaited us.

Chapter Text

My hands struggled to hold on to Alijah’s hair, prompting him to run slower. Thanks to this, it took longer to reach our destination. Eventually, we found our way out of the desert and into another forest by the following afternoon.

We only stopped when we found a river to camp and wash off in. I slowly got off him, attempting to situate myself with the map in my bag. However, there were no breathers for me, especially when he came closer to the river’s edge and drank from it.

“No, stop! You’re supposed to boil it!” I huffed as he rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm in his mouth.

It caused me to drop our bags by the edge of the river. Even though my healing slowed thanks to the Iris, my hands and feet were better than the night before. Gently, Alijah pulled me into the water before shifting into his humanoid form.

Tugging me into his chest again, I struggled to keep the cloth on me when his hand traveled up my back.

It’s coming…

His hand stopped by my neck before clasping onto my hair that reached my back. My heart stopped when he tugged me into the water, where I let the grumpy wolf submerge me under it. With that simple dunk, blood ran downstream along with what was stuck in my body.

However, that wouldn’t be enough to clean my hair, but it made it more visible and pinker. We were away from prying eyes, which meant nothing held him back from wanting to drill me. Not that I blamed him for wanting to know who he was stuck with.

Sadly, it froze me in place. Tugging me back up to the surface, I couldn’t hold on to the cloth that washed away from my body and down the stream. My chest was so close to Alijah’s that it made me wonder if he felt anything other than disgust towards me.

Letting go of my hair, he placed his hands on my cheeks as his fingers wiped any residual blood that had stayed.

What I would give… to know your thoughts right now.

His fingers traced under my eyes before ending on my hair again. However, he pulled on it rougher this time. It was almost as if he was fighting with something within himself as his gaze shimmered slightly.

“Who are you?” Alijah asked coldly, holding me close to him.

I used my arms to separate us slightly, though our flesh was touching. Not that I had the mind to enjoy this, yet I couldn’t tear myself away from his addictive embrace.

“I’m Rem; I already told you that,” I answered, avoiding the elephant in the room.

Instead of letting it go, he trailed his hand down my hair. It was nothing like the wig I had on before.

“Don’t play coy with me.” He huffed, clasping into my hair again before tugging on it, triggering my back to arch a bit.

He tugged on it, arching my back and prompting my chest to touch his. A soft whine left my lips, and the warmth of his skin on me was extraordinary. The only thing that kept me centered was how frightened his eyes were toward me.

It sent shivers down my spine.

“Isn’t that good enough?! Why do I have to be something else?!” I tried to argue back, feeling shivers go down my spine.

You’ll hate me! Please… don’t find out! Please!

He held me by my waist with his free hand before resting his head on my neck. His lips pressed against my nape as his fiery breath made my heart flutter.

“No, I want to know who you are.” He declared, gently nibbling my skin.

I yelped at the feeling of his fangs gently pressing against me, yet he never sunk them into me. The blood from his cheeks dripped down my shoulder when he licked where he had bit.

Ah... You know... You totally know about my feelings for you! If you don’t, then... I...

“I’m one of those silver blood you hate! Happy?!” I squealed, unable to resist his tease.

He let go of my hair, triggering me to place my forehead on his chest. My entire body was trembling, expecting his rejection, yet his grip on me was relentless. Even though my hands were still bandaged and slightly stung, I pressed them against his chest.

I could stop this if I wanted, but it would forever close his heart to me.

Something… I won’t allow happening, even if it kills me.

There was nothing more I wished than to become Alijah’s friend.

No, I desire to be someone important in your life, and it doesn’t matter what shape it takes. All that matters is that I can be in your life.

He took a deep breath before biting his lip.

“Not what I meant. I’ll ask again, and if you don’t answer honestly. You’ll never achieve your dream of making me ‘love’ this world, Rem.” He warned, eyes shimmering.

I froze in his arms upon hearing him say that. The icy tone of his voice made damn sure I knew he wouldn’t forgive me if I continued this path of lies.

“Who are you, Rem?” He questioned, narrowing his eyes.

No… I can’t… You’ll…

“The… I… I’m the girl who’ll do anything to save you!” I broke as a soft, broken chuckle left his lips before he let me go and turned away.

Instantly, tears ran down my cheeks, realizing he was done with my games.

Ah… No… Rem… You’re going... No… I can’t… Just do it before you lose him forever!

“I’m Rem Silver Fang! Fenris Silver Fang’s daughter!” I yelled at Alijah as my voice squeaked at the end.

Instead of walking away from me, he quickly spun around towards me, revealing a gentle smile on his lips.

“You’re Lilith’s daughter?” His soft tone when he said that caused my heart to ache.

Of course, that’s the part you’d care about.

“Yes, I am,” I mumbled, trying to hold the tears back, but it was useless.

Closing the gap, he suddenly pulled me into the water, only to surface right after. He washed the blood off his face. Soon, he shook his head, trying to get the water out of his ears.

Did you do that because I’m crying? Why?

“That explains… so much about you,” Alijah smirked.

Why are you smiling like that? Why don’t you hate me? I’m a silver blood… Why…

“How old are you, Rem?” he asked, causing me to tilt my head.

Huh?

“O-Only three years younger than you… Twenty.” I answered, standing there like a deer in headlights.

Why… Huh? Just… What?

“Three? I’m much older than that little Luma.” Alijah chuckled, glancing at me.

Ah… I must be dreaming. Yes, that’s the only explanation.

“Your body’s twenty-three, though.” I rolled my eyes.

Alijah shook his head, but I was right. He had the same body as the day he was locked away.

“Hah… Fine. So… why do you want to save me? Don’t your parents want to kill me?” He continued, removing his pants and underwear before throwing them outside towards the shore.

My eyes twitched, realizing that we were both naked in the river’s waters. My only saving grace was that it wasn’t crystal clear. Though my heart was…

“B-Because…” I trailed off.

This was one question I couldn’t answer.

Well, honestly, at least.

“Because?” He came closer, sending my chaotic heart into a storm.

My eyes instinctively gazed away from him and towards the river’s edge. To get a glance at him would end me right where I was.

“I can’t tell you that,” I mumbled.

He undid his braid, placing what he used to tie it on his wrist before he swam behind me. It was a weird cloth, but I couldn’t focus as my eyes slowly followed him.

What are you planning?

I couldn’t read him anymore. This wasn’t the normal Alijah, I knew. No, he was playful.

“Why not?” He questioned from behind me as his hands suddenly found their way to my tail and hair.

“Because I can’t!” I yelped again from his sudden touch.

It was a silly reaction as all he was trying to do was help rid the blood off my hair. Unlike before, his hands were so tender. I hadn’t brushed it the entire time we traveled, which meant serious knots had formed.

Not that I minded them, but Alijah seemed to. This wolf always took good care of his hair.

“I thought it was because you wanted me to smile,” He noted my previous answer while using his fingers to help my hair become smoother and cleaner.

His touch felt so good that I couldn’t help but lean back onto him.

“I do want that!” I tried to keep my emotions in check.

Hey, Alijah, are you testing me? Do you know what I feel? You have to. Otherwise, why would you be like this? Why aren’t you angry about what happened to you? Or are you, and this is payback? Oh, how I wish I could read your mind!

Everything would have been much simpler if I had that perk.

“Then?” Alijah tugged on my hair gently to wet it more.

It would take over one wash to get everything off, but he excelled at patience.

Well, to a point.

“That’s for me to know and for you never to find out!” I grumbled, prompting him to yank me onto him suddenly.

In a second, my back was against his chest as my bum touched his…

Your… That’s your… Oh!

I felt like I was going to die where I was.

“Oi! Why?” Alijah growled, holding my arms to my chest, preventing me from escaping.

I tried not to think much of what was down there for him. However, I attempted to tug my waist away because it probably would never respond to me.

Right? There is no way I… No, if something like that happens, I won’t be able to… stop myself from claiming you.

“Please…” I whispered, feeling weak.

My heart broke because of his actions, sending it into another world. Luckily, Alijah backed off, glancing towards the side, allowing me to see his cheeks were light pink. I didn’t know if it was the tone of my voice, but he wasn’t going further with his tease.

“Fine, I’ll let you go this once.” He sighed, “I can finally see you have some cute brown streaks in your hair. Oh, they’re even in your short tail. Adorable.”

This man didn’t know what fire he was playing with. It was taking everything in me from kissing him, leaving me to want to break right where I stood.

Please don’t do it, Rem! Control yourself!

Alijah felt nothing for me, not how I felt about him. Memories of my dreams rushed through my mind while I tried to shove them down. I couldn’t help but grumble under my breath as I could barely keep my hands to myself.

Ignoring my demeanor, Alijah continued to move past it, “So, how’s your family?”

“Probably dying to find me,” I answered, clasping my hands tightly against my chest.

I didn’t want to be like any other woman who negatively affected his life.

Why are you being like this? My mind is about to go haywire! By now, in my dreams, I would’ve… We would’ve been…

My heart wouldn’t survive this onslaught of attacks.

Please be mean to me, Alijah. I can’t stop wanting you, so please… make me hate you.

I wanted to stop breathing if it would stop the pain that was swelling within my chest.

Please… tell me how everything was my fault that I put you in danger, that I’m a mistake you never wanted to cross.

Hated silver blood was all I could ever be to him because if I was more…

Chapter Text

The questions didn’t stop there. No, this black wolf was interested in everything about me.

“Are you an only child?” Alijah queried, using his hands to clear all the knots away from my matted hair.

The curiosity seemed harmless.

“No… I have three siblings.” I replied, trying to harden my heart before he suddenly dunked me in the water again without expecting it.

The moment I surfaced, I saw a smile planted on his face. There was a glimmer in his eyes that wasn’t present before.

Why? Because of what I am? No, it can’t be.

“I don’t see any head injuries, and your hands seem to heal well. Do you regenerate as fast as me?” He asked as his wounds had already closed completely.

Is that what you were looking for? My poor heart, though.

I could barely keep up.

“I heal a bit faster than the average luma, but not as fast as a blood moon Lycan,” I answered.

He tugged me closer to the shore, shifting into his wolf form, which saved me from seeing his lovely parts. The sky was already darkening, meaning the moon was about to grace us with her presence.

“So, you guys are four?” He continued, shaking the water out of his fur as best he could.

I slowly followed behind, unable to do the same. Sadly, I would have to air dry. We had no towels or spare clothes to use to dry our bodies. At least the ghost voices were muffled, thanks to Alijah’s presence, making this the first night in a while that I could sleep in peace.

“Yes, we’re a quad,” I replied, sitting by the river’s edge, curling myself up.

Soon, the chilly breeze made it hard for me to feel the warmth.

Should I start a fire? No… It’s getting too dark to look for the materials we need.

When we were attacked, it was almost a little past dawn, which meant the sun had barely risen before we were raided.

Now the sun is going down again on the following day. How long did I run to catch up to the hovercrafts?

Parts of my memories were still fuzzy, leaving me with nothing but aching joints to explain what had happened. Usually, it took Iris a couple of days to leave my body entirely, meaning I still had a couple of more days where my wounds would act more human than anything else.

“Ah… That was one heavy load to bear for your mom.” Alijah commented, triggering me to cackle.

“One that almost killed her.” I sighed, biting my lip.

I knew full well that giving life to me caused my mother to lose a part of her. Although she always said she never regretted saving me.

It seems all I do is take.

My body shivered as I tried to warm myself up by curling into a small ball. A soft hum came from the wolf behind me as I kept my glance at the flowing water before me.

“She almost died giving birth to you guys?” He asked, lying behind me.

The moment his fur touched my back, I turned to him to see his gaze towards the river rather than at me. However, the warmth that came from his body was too much to pull away from.

Did you notice I’m getting cold? No… I have to keep my hands to myself.

“Vera, Caden, and Aiden… are my siblings’ names.” I avoided that question.

I wasn’t ready for this wolf to know everything about me, especially how much deadlier I was if death gripped me. A soft sigh left him as his tail pushed me towards him. The heat from his body radiated through me the moment I entirely fell on him.

Why?! Why Alijah?! Please stop! I won't be able to hold these feelings back! I’m not strong enough!

“Are they lumas like you?” he continued, unaware of my peril.

My chest felt tighter than ever before as it felt like I’d lose my grip soon.

Please… be meaner.

I could push him to act that way, yet I craved this sweet pain.

Is it possible for me to have a little bit of your heart? Even if it is the tiniest piece ever? Can I… try?

“No… Caden and Aiden aren’t much different from Lycans, and Vera’s more like mom.” I answered.

“So… You’re the only Luma?” His questions wouldn’t stop soon.

“Yes, I’m the most unstable of the bunch and the one you’re stuck with,” I mumbled, holding my arms before grabbing his fluffy tail to cover myself.

That was the only moment when his gaze found its way towards me. Not that it mattered; he had already seen everything I had to offer.

Why do I even bother hiding?

This wolf would never see me like I wished either way. Slowly, I let go of my useless attempt to make it seem like I had something to offer him. However, his tail didn’t move from where it was. No, he held it there, covering me from his gaze.

“That isn’t what I meant,” Alijah assured me.

I shrugged, shaking my head.

It's fine; everyone thinks that way about me.

“Rem! You’re nothing but a hazard to everyone around you!” Vera yelled at me when I suggested to go with them.

“She’s right, Rem. You’ll be too much of a liability.” Caden huffed, shifting his gaze away from me.

“But… I… I can…” I trailed off as Aiden grabbed onto my shoulders.

“No, Rem. You have to stay. We need to be in our A-game for this. We can’t be worrying about you, too.” He huffed, leaving my sight to sink onto the floor.

Ah… I’m just…

“It’s fine, Alijah. I’m used to it, and it’s not a lie. You already witness what happens if I shift into my wolf. I’m nothing more than a liability.” I bit my lip, shaking my head.

“Huh? You seemed plenty powerful when saving me. Out of control, but powerful, nothing a little bit of training can’t help polish.” He breathed.

What? No…

I closed my eyes, feeling the sting in my chest get worse.

Why not agree with me? Alijah… I gave you the perfect opportunity to bury me. Please… Stop… my heart can’t take it anymore.

“Oh, I know I’m powerful. I’m the most dangerous of the quad, yet I can’t control it. So… Please don’t get abducted anymore.” I sighed, trying to salvage my emotions.

The last thing I said, though, caused Alijah to growl.

“Oi, I’ll try not to be a damsel in distress again. Though hard to do with the tight leash you have on me.” He sassed back.

“L-Leash?!” I blurted out, only to sink into his fur more.

Why’s everything backfiring today?

“W-Well! I’m not removing it!” I growled back.

He smirked, tugging my hair with his snout. “I know, but you could let me defend myself. It’d be better than having to find me again.”

Yeah… if you could’ve defended yourself then…

Pictures of his whipping came into mind, prompting me to wince.

None of that would’ve happened.

“Fine… only if someone wants to hurt you. Only then can you use your power but not kill them.” I relented, prompting Alijah to lick my cheek.

My heart… My poor heart!

“Good girl.” He praised, breaking something within me.

That simple gesture made me want much more than he was willing to give me.

Come on, Rem, you know various women raped him over and over. Of course, your body wouldn’t have a splinter reaction.

The one who had all the looks from our quad was Vera.

“I’m not…” I trailed off, triggering him to tilt his head.

This was too complex—more challenging than I thought. I wanted my emotions to die, not to flourish.

What am I going to do if…

“Because of all the people you killed?” Alijah asked, laying his snout on my lap.

No…

“Because I’m selfish,” I stated, burying my face in his fur, trying to keep the tears away.

Stop it, Rem… Stop it! Why are my feelings getting stronger?

I wanted him all to myself, like in my dreams. It was taking everything in me not to jump him.

Maybe this is one, and I still haven’t found you in that vast desert. I want to kiss you like we always do in my fantasy world. No… I can’t. This isn’t… The one you love isn’t me.

“Rem? What’s the matter?” The black wolf worried, noticing the change in me.

I tried not to sob, but my feelings were overflowing.

I love you, that’s the problem!

There was no denying it anymore. I was hopelessly in love with a madman who would never love me.

Why aren’t you acting like one? Is it because I saved you? Oh… back with Loren, you…

Alijah had told that bitch that I probably was the only person crazy enough to come after him.

Is that why? Because I came for you? Who would be crazy enough not to go for you? You’re worth the world, Alijah, at least to me. To me… You’re everything.

“Nothing, enough about me. What about you? Why did you let Loren tease you like that?” I asked, trying to deflect him away from me.

My question caused him to freeze.

“How do you know that?” He asked.

Oh, right… You…

“The orbs you saw around you were spirits that led me to you. My power’s weirder than my mother’s or sister’s.” I answered, knowing I walked into that one myself.

“Ah… And how did you shift?” He continued to dig.

I jerked myself off his fur, pouting again. “Hey! You’re changing the subject.” I growled, shaking my head.”

He chuckled, triggering me to frown.

You’re just…

“Look, I don’t know how I did it. All I knew was that I needed to find you.
That was all that mattered.” I sighed.

“I see,” Alijah noted, laying his head on the ground.

For a moment, I thought he would end it there, but...

“To answer you, the half-elf reminded me of someone I knew long ago,” He added soon after.

“Oh? Who?” I asked, finally leading the questions.

He shook his head, shrugging. “Mori, one of many who made my life unbearable.”

The wolf’s gaze was stuck on the river as his voice was devoid of emotions. However, all I could see was how he was opening to me. Even though I shouldn’t have been excited about the subject we were about to dive into, I was.

It took all the tears away. To the point, I didn’t even care how bare I was when I hauled away from his tail.

“What did she do?” I queried, not thinking twice about what it could do to Alijah’s heart.

“I don’t know if I want to…” He trailed off, wincing.

Oh… No… I…

“Sorry… I didn’t mean to bring bad memories.” I reached out to his cheek.

When my fingers touched his fur, he lifted his head, nuzzling it to my face. He was so soft.

“It’s fine. I pushed you. Now you push me.” Alijah sighed.

A soft hum left me as I caressed his cheek softly, smiling.

Don’t you care? Or am I being led? Hey, if this a lie… if this is a play, please… let me live it for a little while.

Unable to hold off, I hugged his neck when he let me get closer to him.

This is nice.

“That woman took my last hope of being normal,” Alijah answered.

I patted his fur as it left my fingers tingly.

“Sounds like a lovely person,” I huffed, wishing nothing more than to strangle her for hurting him.

“Lovely indeed, she took men into my prison cell to do as they wished with me. She even gave me a fucking drug to make me more susceptible to her or anyone’s influence after I bit someone’s tongue off.” He shivered, prompting me to wince.

Ah… I shouldn’t have approached that topic. You’re a dumbass, Rem!

Noticing my demeanor, Alijah sighed, nuzzling his nose against my cheek.

“Eh, I should of bit his dick off. Sadly, they never gave me that opportunity.” He breathed, “It was a long time ago. It’s okay.”

“No, Alijah… It isn’t okay!” I broke, sobbing right where I was.

My wolf went through much more than I ever thought, much more than the elders cared to record.

Why did no one protect you? Why were you abandoned? That is… You deserved better than what you got! If only… I… I was born back then!

My reaction caused Alijah to tilt his ears back as I hugged him too tightly.

“Mori’s dead, Rem. There isn’t any need to cry over it. I killed her the night of the red moon, and I enjoyed ripping into her. Although, I wish I would’ve seen her suffer more.” He reassured me as I couldn’t hold myself together.

No! Never again will anyone harm you! Not mom, not dad… Not anyone! I’ll make damn sure of it, even if it hurts me in the end. Even if it adds to how much I’ll end up loving you. I’ll…

Surprisingly, the wolf allowed me to stick to him.

“Alijah… I’m so sorry for everything you went through. I was born too late, so I’m so sorry!” I sobbed.

The black wolf pulled away from me, not knowing what to do with me, but he would try. Instead of walking away, he sat before me as my tears streaked down.

“Rem… Please don’t cry.” Alijah licked my cheek, leaving it warm.

I’m such an idiot. Why did I say that?

Instead of keeping his distance, he forced his head onto my chest, and I instinctively hugged him.

“You know what’s funny, though?” He dragged me onto the ground with him, yanking me back into his warm fur.

I shook my head, unable to stop the emotions from flowing out of me.

“Rem, you did something I never thought would happen to me. You saved me today without reason, and I don’t care who died because of it. Now you’re crying for me. Why, Rem?” He questioned as I hugged him tighter.

I love you so much. That’s why… I want to yell it to you, but… But… Surely, you’ll find it weird and annoying. We just met, but to me… I have known you for much longer.

“I’ll always come to you, Alijah. That I swear.” I promised, burying my face in him.

“You’re… You’re the first person to tell me that, Rem,” His voice cracked as I snuggled into his chest, reveling in this victory.

Ah… At least I took one of your first.

His fur was so comfortable that I giggled, almost like I had gotten drunk out of my emotions.

Will you be angry if I sleep on you? Ah… I don’t care.

“Everyone else’s a loser then!” I growled, gripping him tighter.

A soft chuckle left Alijah, “I guess so.”

“You know… After shifting, I only wanted to find you, and now I have you. My hands and feet still hurt, but I’m so happy that the pain doesn’t matter anymore.” I mumbled, feeling my eyes grow heavy.

“Oi, you shouldn’t fall asleep naked, stupid Rem, you’ll get sick.” Alijah huffed.

However, I was bare on him no longer mattered to me. All I wanted was to sleep with him and enjoy his warmth.

Who cares if I get sick because of it or if I don’t wake up anymore?

This would be a good place to die.

“But I’m so sleepy, and your fur is so comfy. No wonder Mom loves it when Dad shifts on chilly nights. I’m so jealous of them.” I simpered, closing my eyes.

Their love was something to strive for, and I knew that was a bittersweet end for me.

That’s right, this… this love…

“Oi…” Alijah tried to complain.

“You’re better than Dad, though. Yes, much better and warmer.” I complimented, catching him off guard.

“What? Rem? What do you mean by that?” Alijah asked as I hummed, slowly losing between reality and dream.

Ah… this has to be a dream. So, it must be okay. I can tell you everything. I…

“Alijah… I love…” I mumbled, falling into a sweet dream.

One where I slept with the wolf that owned my heart and soul, wishing to remain in his sweet embrace.

But... would I?

Chapter Text

The following day, the sunlight was the first thing to hit my eyelids. Slowly, arousing from my dream, I found myself in the comfiest of things.

Huh? When did I find a fluffy bed?

With a glance, my heart stopped when I realized Alijah was under me in his wolf form. I couldn’t tell if I was still in the same dream. Yawning, I slowly stretched before sitting as a chilling breeze hit me.

Wait… Wait… I’m still naked?!

Feeling my movements, the wolf stood up, allowing me to slide off him and onto the rocks below. He went to grab my bag before bringing it to me and placing it in front of me before cocking his head.

My brain function was slower than usual, leaving me to stare back at the wolf before me.

“Are you going to stay like that?” He chuckled, eyes shimmering lightly.

At that moment, my eyes widened, lighting up my face worse than a firework going off.

Wait… Wait! All of that was real?! I slept on you naked all night?!

Another realization that formed along with that one, since he was in his wolf form, was that he was also nude. His clothes were in the peripheral of my vision when he threw them out of the river. My heart quickly reminded me they were still in place, wishing to bolt out of me.

“Ah!” I yelped, grabbing my back before diving into a few bushes beside us.

Luckily, all the previous day’s blisters were gone, making my escape painless.

Arg, what the heck am I thinking? I’m not thinking at all that’s my problem. Rem, you stupid idiot!

“Seems you finally grew a brain, little Luma.” Alijah teased from the riverbank, leaving my eyes twitching.

Why are you being like this?!

“Maybe helping me dress would’ve eased your eyes!” I growled, searching my bag for spare clothes.

It had visible bloodstains on the outside, which meant I would need a new one when we got to the next village. My mind raced, looking for distractions from my current predicament, though it was troublesome that those raiders had all the equipment.

Iris... Sedatives... How did they gain it? Cerberus? Is there a smuggler within the organization? Well, it’s not like it matters. If those two are following, they’ll stumble into that cave sooner than later.

“Eh, that isn’t my problem,” The black wolf huffed.

Thank god. Wait... did I slip last night? I... I... think I didn’t. Wait, Did I? Arg... I’m an idiot. A big stupid moron. Why was I born without a brain!?

My nerves were getting the best of me.

“You’re a colossal fool,” I mumbled, wanting to slam my head into the tree beside me.

Perhaps then I would get a clue or two. However, Alijah thought I directed it to him instead. Lycans and their stupid hearing abilities!

“What?” He scoffed, triggering me to growl.

“Not you!” I yelled, putting on my clothes.

Even though my temper was flaring, it wasn’t Alijah’s fault. He kept me warm throughout the night for some reason, as I hadn’t slept that peacefully since arriving at Celestelia.

Why did you…

I think the wolf barely slept a wink last night. An orb floated by me as I found myself at the end of Alijah’s range.

What…?

He was probably worried about me because of the bond. Otherwise, it wouldn’t make sense to me. Leaving my hidey-hole, he was already dressed in the extra clothes I had gotten him. Everything fit him so nicely, too.

Clearing my throat, I approached him while his crimson gaze followed me. I had left my shoes back where I shifted, which meant I was barefoot for the foreseeable future.

“I’m going to find out where we are,” I mumbled, avoiding his gaze and prompting him to chuckle.

Ignoring his snickering, I took out the little GPS device from the bag and attempted to figure out where we were. However, Alijah grabbed me by my waist and tugged me towards him before I could sit down.

“Do you want me to catch us something to eat?” He asked, licking his lips.

I hadn’t noticed how my belly was rumbling, and we hadn’t eaten in over a day. Hunger was the one thing that would make me face him with no resistance or shame. It seemed my expression was the only answer he needed as a soft smile rose on his lips.

“Okay, stay here. I’ll go hunt us something.” He announced, shifting back into his wolf form before bolting towards the forest.

A soft sigh left me while I closed the map and put on my headphones. With him gone, the unsought comments would return shortly; instead of letting myself fall prey to them, I went to look for sticks to start a fire. It was finally daylight, making it easier for me to find everything.

When Alijah returned with two bunnies, the fire was set and going. He placed them near the blaze and returned to his humanoid form before grabbing a knife from his bag. We had gotten one before we left Luxon, making preparing raw food easier on our journey.

This wolf made the process easy, while I always struggled when Dad attempted to teach me. Wanting to be helpful, I went to heat water for us to store in our pouches. However, something stopped me when I gazed at the reflection in the running river.

There was something off about me as darkness still radiated from me.

What… But I…

Mesmerized by the shadowy aura coming from my body, I couldn’t take my eyes off it.

Murderer... Someone murmured in my mind.

The imagery of yesterday’s events swelled within me, freezing me in place. Unaware of my predicament, Alijah came beside me to wash his hands in the river after placing the prepped bunnies in the fire to cook.

He noticed a faint dark aura coming from me when he turned around to face me.

Instantly, he took off my headset, “Oi! Rem!”

Luckily, his voice snapped me out of it, shifting my eyes onto him.

“Sorry, I…” I mumbled before shaking my head. “No, it’s nothing.”

Slowly, I bent down to fill the small pot with water. It wasn’t like I felt guilt.

Or is it? No, I don’t feel bad, but I feel empty when I try to think about them.

“Hey... talk to me,” Alijah sighed, grabbing my shoulder.

Ah… if you keep this up, I’ll misunderstand you.

“I’m fine. Really, I promise.” I smiled.

Sadly, I could tell he didn’t believe a word from my mouth because he narrowed his eyes.

“Rem, the first ones are always the hardest. You’ll get over it.” Alijah tried to comfort me, leaving my heart aching.

No, you’re wrong, please stop…

“This isn’t the first time I’ve killed. I’m fine. None of this is new to me.” I informed.

“What?” He breathed, tilting his head.

“Look, a witch cursed me when I was born. It makes me lose myself to blood lust if I wolf out, so I can’t do it.” I sighed.

“Huh? Shouldn’t your connection to the red moon protect you from curses?” Alijah asked.

You’re correct, but Edna doesn’t play fair. Her magic is…

“Nope. Not from this one. The witch that cursed me used a relic from the gods and the life of a Lycan to cast it. So, I’m stuck with it until she croaks.” I shrugged, placing the pot on the fire.

Alijah unexpectedly grabbed my shoulder again, concentrating his aura on me to find the curse. I glanced up at him, unable to help but clasp onto my chest.

Why are you… Ah… What a fool… but… one I love.

My Lycan half resonated with him as my left eye shimmered along with his.

“I don’t feel it in you,” Alijah cocked his head.

I sighed, shaking my head. “Yeah, it’s different from normal ones. It only activates in specific moments; her curse also warps with my magic. So, it’s complicated and uncurable. Well, unless she dies.” I simpered.

Please… drop it. If you don’t… I’ll actually believe you care.

“No, there has to be something. Maybe the elves can help,” Alijah suggested, eyes darting to each side as he tried to find something in his brain to help me.

“It’s okay. Mom and Dad have already tried everything available to us. Sadly, the only way it goes away is if she croaks. Mom’s hunting her to the ends of the earth, too. She’s an eternal witch.” I gripped my arms, trying to calm my chaotic thoughts.

The only reason you care has to be because of the bond. Yes, this is all superficial. It has to be.

Even though I craved Edna’s death, she was an eternal witch. They were monsters who could control time. Usually, they would freeze time for their bodies, which meant she wouldn’t croak out of old age.

They even survived being haunted thousands of years ago. Some of them escaped, or perhaps you are the only one alive and alone.

“What’s her name?” he asked.

I bit my lip when he sat down next to me.

“Edna,” I replied, biting my lip.

This witch had ruined my life before it began, and that was something I could never forgive.

I have to kill her before I go back home. If I don’t… then I’ll…

The black wolf grumbled, “Edna... It sounds familiar.”

I nodded, knowing she was the reason he was in this timeline.

Without her, you’d still be… I guess she has her uses.

“It should. She was the crazy bitch that broke you out of that prison. Not that I dislike the fact that she broke you out. I’m glad she did, but sadly, she also wants to control you.” I clarified.

Eh, I guess you aren’t so bad. After all, you gave Alijah the chance to be happy. Yes, because of you, he has the opportunity to be loved by me and his past lover, which we still need to save from your clutches.

She had ripped Mom’s past life memories from her, which meant she plucked out the elven soul from her. This had happened the same day I was born and cursed.

I guess the spell you cast on my mother was meant to kill us and rip that part out of her. We both lost that day.

We suspected it was to revive the elven Lilith and use her to control Alijah—something I would have to inform him of, especially if I wanted to stop these emotions from breaking out.

“You’re happy she broke me out?” The curious wolf mumbled, getting close to me.

Ah… Yes… I think it’s time to kill off these emotions, Alijah.

After all, I didn’t want to hide anything from him anymore, especially about his Lilith. The moment I mentioned his old flame…

I’ll be nothing but a platonic pass time to you, which is good.

It would set my emotions straight once and for all.

Just because you’re my soul mate doesn’t mean I’m yours. This happened to Grandma and Aunty Amelia, too.

“Yes, I am,” I whispered, trying to keep my hands to myself.

Edna had made me happier than he would ever know.

“You’re a strange one, little Rem.” Alijah chuckled, gazing up at the trees.

The wind had picked up, making them shake. As they swayed, colorful leaves fell onto the ground around us. It was fall in Celestelia, compared to the winter back home.

“Hey, What do you mean by she wants to control me? How the fuck would a witch do that?” he added soon after.

Ah… Here’s the end for us. Not that we were ever meant to be, right?

“I don’t know what she wants to do with you, but she has the means to do it,” I informed.

It was hard to shut my heart to prepare myself for how he would react to that, yet it had to be done.

This isn’t about me, and it never will be.

“What?” the wolf mumbled.

I only had him in my clutches because the blood moon also influenced my magic.

Damn… this is harder than I thought. I really don’t want to tell you, but… we have to move forward.

After all, this wolf trusted me, and I could never tarnish it.

“Hey... Alijah, what would you do if you could have the person you love the most back?” I countered his question with one of mine.

He released a nervous chuckle before it quickly died down when my expression didn’t change.

“Anything,” He answered.

I closed my eyes, steadying my heart.

“Exactly. We would do anything to have the person we love with us,” I mumbled, taking out the map to distract myself.

Alijah grabbed it out of my hands, forcing me to face him. His expression was one of pure solemnity.

“Wait... you mean she can return Lilith from the dead?” He questioned, eyes shimmering.

I took a deep breath, trying hard to fight the urge to lie to him.

Damn it, I want to keep you all to myself, but that isn’t how this story will end. No, you’ll be with your loved one before I’m done. I swear it. But… why does it hurt so much?

I never knew it would hurt so much to have the man I had dreamt about for years pick another.

Ah... it’s all for your happiness. I’ll give the world to you, Alijah, if you smile at me.

No, I would give more than that.

Chapter Text

Even though I wanted to tell Alijah everything, my voice felt heavier than ever.

Why is it so hard to tell you? I don’t… No, it isn’t my choice! You deserve…

“Yes... Edna can bring the Lilith you knew back. I don’t know how, but her wickedness will find a way.” I answered Alijah, triggering him to growl loudly.

Instinctively, I removed the pot from the fire to prevent accidents.

“Wait… Are you saying you took me away from that chance?!” He snapped as I stood up to face him head-on.

I can’t run away. Perhaps this is when my heart will be as locked to you as yours is to me.

Even though this was far from what I wished, I would be selfless just this once.

This entire journey started because of my selfishness. Now... At this moment, all of that will change.

“No, I took you away from my family. I plan to find Edna and kill her, and when I do, your love will be back with you somehow. I don’t know how I’ll do that, but I will. That’s another promise I make to you, Alijah.” I bowed my head to him.

That’s a vow I intend to keep, even if it destroys me.

“Rem... why?” He mumbled as I shifted my gaze to meet with his.

His eyes were wide open as I closed mine.

A person like me... I’m selfish... that’s all I am. Please don’t look at me like I’m anything more than that.

“I don’t want you to destroy the world or be anyone’s puppet. So, trust me when I say I want what’s best for you.” I shifted my gaze onto him before simpering.

Your happiness is all I wish for at the end of this journey: that and my freedom.

He glanced down at the ground before going back to me. His eyes sparkled as his expression softened.

“I trust you, Rem.” Alijah smiled, leaving me with my eyes wide open.

Maybe… Can I be your friend?

I reached my hand towards him like I did the night of the lake.

“Good to be your partner, then.” I beamed, unable to help the joy of becoming something to him seeping out.

He shook his head, grabbing my hand as my tail wagged uncontrollably.

“You really are something, Rem. Okay... we’re partners.” Alijah nodded.

With this, it would be over. All I would ever be to this wolf was the annoying girl who took him to his love. An ache in my chest arose as I tightly gripped his hand.

This is the only warmth I’ll ever feel from you. It hurts, but—

Before I knew it, he yanked me towards him, and the sudden motion caused me to fall against his chest.

What are you—

“That was dangerous!” I growled.

Even though it annoyed me, I froze when I saw his tender expression.

Huh? Why are you looking at me like that?

“Ali—” I went to say his name only to be swiftly silenced when he took hold of my chin.

“I guess so,” Alijah whispered, tugging me to meet my lips with his.

The warmth radiated within me was astonishing as my eyes flew open when he closed his.

What’s happening?!

My mind couldn’t keep up when his tongue licked my bottom lip, freezing me in place. A soft hum left his lips as his hand trailed down my back before grabbing the base of my tail, triggering me to yelp.

When my mouth gave him access, his tongue invaded mine, and I felt my mind break. The way he tangoed with mine stole my breath away. I could’ve stopped him or bitten his tongue off, yet I couldn’t give this moment of warmth away.

This… has to be a dream.

Unable to help it, I shyly pushed on the wolf’s tongue as he grasped the back of my head. In an instant, he had stolen my heart once again. I slowly melted in his hands with every second as I couldn’t help but kiss him back.

Upon feeling me respond to him, lips curved into a sly smile. I didn’t know how long we locked lips before he separated. However, when he did, a trail of saliva connected us before he licked his lips to cut it off.

His cheeks were pink when he stepped back from me and walked over to the riverbank. All the while, I stood there with my face and lips burning.

“W-Why?” I mumbled, barely able to think straight.

Why won’t you let me give up? Why did you do that to me? I… I want…

This wolf had learned that we could bring his lover back, yet he went and did that instead.

Why aren’t you colder towards me? Why do you tease me? Is this a test? It has to be!

“Y-You did that last time to start a pact with me. So, this is the start of a new bond between you and me.” Alijah cleared his throat.

I felt a sting in my chest, triggering me to gaze at the floor before sitting down.

So that’s what it is. There’s no special meaning behind it.

Yet I...

Why make it so intimate, Alijah? A little peck like I did that night would’ve been enough!

My poor heart was in disarray, and I couldn’t help but want to jump on him and kiss him again feverishly.

No, Rem, you can’t! This isn’t… You… can’t.

My heart ached as stinging sensations arose within my eyes.

If I do that, I won’t be any different from all the other females who attacked you. I… I need to…

“I see.” I acknowledge, trying to hold my emotions intact.

It was becoming a chore, but all that mattered was his happiness.

Mine’s nothing in comparison. All I need is my freedom.

Perhaps if I said it enough, it would be true.

Ah... my chest hurts more than ever.

While his gaze was stuck to the river, I traced my fingertips on my lip.

Damn it, why do I want more?! I can’t have it again! If I do… I won’t… I don’t know if I can… No, you have to!

“Hey, Rem, your mom told me something before she sent me to this time. I thought she was bullshitting me, but funny enough, I think I found it.” Alijah chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“W-What was t-that?” I asked, trying to steady my heart, only to get overly curious.

Is it because of the news that you’ll see your Lilith again?

“Nah, little Luma, that’s for me to know and for you to find out.” Alijah simpered, turning back towards me.

His cheeks were light pink, triggering my heart to race. Licking my lips, I shook off my insecurities as that expression was everything I wanted to see on him.

Hey, can I have a small piece of your heart? Alijah... is that possible for me? Is that what this kiss meant?

“Ah... Challenge accepted!” I smirked, pointing at him decisively.

I gave in to the emotion swelling within me while he chuckled.

Smiling and happy... If the thought of being with Lilith does that to you… Hey, she’ll do a good job at that, right? She’ll make sure you never feel pain again. Only love. If she does that to you, then I can…

“Okay, Rem,” Alijah cackled as I shifted my eyes downward to the ground.

I love you, grumps.

Fighting the urge to jump him, I took out the map again. Dad had taught me all I knew about survival, even how to track myself on the map, even in the digital version I had. It took me a bit, but I tracked down where we were as Alijah took the cooked bunnies off the fire and handed me one on a stick, preventing me from burning myself.

“Thank you.” I smiled, prompting him to sit beside me.

“You’re welcome. Don’t eat it too quickly, or you’ll injure yourself.” He warned, taking a munch out of it.

Although the meal was dull compared to what I had previously had in the manor, it was still the best because the man of my dreams was next to me. After we finished, I filled our containers with more fresh water for the trip ahead.

There was a cave nearby the border that would let us go from Celestelia and into Azear, the ocean elf nation. The cavern was a popular tourist attraction hub from the elven side, but it was closed because of many deaths.

There were many caving, declaring the entire place unstable, but that wasn’t the only danger that lurked in its depths. The cave was full of fluorite crystals that were used to block my mother’s emotions once long ago. Though the ones she had were changed and refined with magic.

Thanks to their raw energy, the ones there would be devoid of emotions.

Luckily, they only react to strong ones. So, if we control ourselves while in there, we should be fine if we don’t touch them by mistake.

The bad thing about pure luxorite was that exposure to the unrefined crystal would end in death—a type of radiation poisoning that was curable if treated within a short time frame. Even though it was dangerous, we had little choice.

Any other exit point of Celestelia had checkpoints that required passports to cross. This cave, though, was usually unguarded because of its danger. Ocean Elves were known to be laid back, which meant their guards wouldn’t have cared if anyone smuggled through.

However, with Dad in charge, that could’ve changed.

I can only hope it’s unguarded.

Before going there, I warned Alijah about the danger. Surprisingly, he knew about the ores, which led to...

“Rem, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“There is no other way. Celestelia isn’t safe for you and…” I trailed off, biting my lip.

Is that too much to say?

“And?” He breathed, shifting his eyes towards me.

“I want you… No, I want us to see the world together.” I simpered before turning my gaze quickly away from him.

His eyes opened wide as he cocked his head. “I… see.” He mumbled, “Hey, help me with my braid before we go.”

“Eh?” I squeaked, “Okay.”

A soft chuckle left his lips as he sat before me, allowing me to grab his hair.

It was so long, soft, and silky that I struggled not to snuggle myself into it. I had done braids before on Vera, but this time it felt different. Working on this wolf made me jittery while trying to do his braid, as he liked it, loose.

So, I tried to please him while not losing myself in a fantasy. After all, I didn’t have to imagine how Alijah’s kisses felt anymore.

No, I know how they feel, and I can’t help… but…

Without really much control of it, my mind wandered towards a naughtier side. Luckily, I continued to make the unsuspecting wolf’s braid, even though I was practically drooling myself.

No… Rem! Chill out!

Closing my eyes momentarily, I tried not to waver too much.

“Rem?” Alijah called out, snapping me out of the naughty daydream. “You’re too quiet.”

His eyes shifted towards me slightly, leaving me like a deer in headlights.

“Just concentrate on making you look good!” I squeaked, eyes twitching.

“Hah, if you say so.” He shook his head, handing me the ribbon he used to hold his hair together.

It was red and made from moon elf silk, which came from a worm within their domain. It was one of the softest materials in our world.

Ah... Did Lilith give you this? No… It hurts! Alijah, you shouldn’t have kissed me.

Every thought was making me jealous of everything I could never have. Once done with his braid, I tied my hair into a ponytail while he shifted into his beast form. There, he allowed me to climb onto him once again.

This time, I was less bare than the previous day, yet I still needed the shoes we would have to buy in the next village we passed. Knowing where to go, he bolted without a second thought toward our destination.

Unlike the previous day, I could hold on to him better, allowing him to run at his usual speed. Thanks to that, it only took us a few hours to get to the abandoned luxorite cave. As I had suspected, no scents were around, marking it abandoned, just like the information I found about it.

Before getting there, I was worried Cerberus was patrolling since my data was downloaded before leaving Silverant. Then again, we were on the hybrid side of the map.

Everything could be different on the other side of the map. Not that it matters. We have to leave Celestelia. Alijah can’t be here.

Not only because of how hostile hybrids were to purebloods but also because of what happened with the raiders.

Without a doubt, they must have already found our tracks.

The most likely culprits were my amazing brothers, Caden and Aiden.

Those two can’t find me yet. Not until…

However, the fact that I had no shoes would pose a problem for me in this cave. If I touched the crystals while barefooted, they would poison me.

Not that it matters. Nothing scares me more than getting captured before I can prove Alijah isn’t a threat.

Thus, there was no turning back. Even if…

Chapter Text

Once at the cave, I hopped off the wolf’s back, allowing him to return to his humanoid form. Before entering the cave, he grabbed my hand, triggering me to glance at him.

“Should I carry you on my back?” Alijah asked, gazing at my bare feet.

His words had made me jittery, but it would’ve been impractical for him to carry me.

“N-No... it’ll only slow us down. We don’t want to be in there for too long, either. The crystals can still affect us even if they don’t touch us, and if we follow the trail, we should be fine.” I smiled, leaving me gripping tightly onto him before taking out a luminescent lamp from my bag and placing it on my wrist.

Unlike the raider’s base, this cave had no lighting, making it treacherous to traverse with no illumination source. We weren’t vampires. So, our sight in the dark wasn’t the best.

“Don’t let go of me, okay?” I whispered, feeling my cheeks burn.

His grip also tightened in response to my words.

“I won’t,” Alijah assured with a soft smile.

Without wasting another moment, we entered the cave. As he said, he didn’t let go of my hand while I led him around the forsaken cave. Even though the trail was dark, it was easy to follow, yet it wasn’t long until we ran into trouble since part of the cave had collapsed, blocking the way out that tourists used.

It wasn’t our only path, but it showed that the cave was unstable, which meant lingering wasn’t an option.

It’ll be fine if we go this way; we just need to make two lefts and three rights.

I didn’t want Alijah to worry about our peril, which kept me quiet about our detour. Though it appeared, he suspected something was up as he seemed more jumpy than usual. Hesitantly, we headed deeper into the cave, only for my footing to give away when I stepped onto the new trail.

Fortunately, I held Alijah’s hand, allowing him to tug me up to safety. When my feet were on solid ground again, my hands clung to his shirt as I tried to calm my erratic breathing.

Why is it always a god-darned fall? Get a grip, Rem!

Holding onto the back of my head, the steady wolf held me in place as I shivered where I stood. However, the cave had other plans for us than letting me get my cool back.

“Fuck, Rem... we have to move.” Alijah declared as his ears twitched.

Thanks to the human side that made my biology, my hearing, although good, wasn’t better than a Lycan. Taking his word at face value, I jumped through the small gap while he followed. The moment I did, cracks came from our surroundings, triggering me to run forward with little hesitation.

A slight earthquake occurred due to a mining company nearby, causing the cave to lose its integrity while they worked on their project to mine ores. That would be the only explanation that came to my mind while Alijah and I ran through the collapsing parts of the cave, hoping to find the end.

Sadly, the rocks below me gave away before I could make the final turn. A jagged rock sliced my foot, triggering me to stumble onto the cavern wall.

“Rem, why do I smell blood?” Alijah questioned, unable to see what had happened as sharp pain throbbed through my leg.

“Nothing, we need to—” I tried to answer as he held me by my waist.

Before I could finish, another harder earthquake made everything below me give away as I slipped from Alijah’s hands. In a split second, I was airborne as pictures of my previous accident swelled within me.

“Rem!” Alijah reached for me again, only to miss me by a couple of centimeters, just like my brother had.

However, instead of staying safe where he was, he leaped after me, breaking me from the memory that wanted to consume me. He engulfed me in his arms in midair before we plunged into an underground river below.

He held me tightly onto his chest while the current dragged us deeper into the unknown. It wasn’t long before my lungs screamed for air as our surroundings suddenly shimmered red, triggering everything around us to disintegrate.

This cleared a small breathing space for him and me, allowing us to breathe freely for a few seconds before the raging stream claimed us again. Unable to hold onto him, the current separated us and dragged us into an underground lake.

Once I could move freely, I headed for the top, where crystals were glowing. I could see where I was, thanks to the emotions surging within us. When I surfaced, I couldn’t fill my lungs quickly enough before I…

“Alijah!” I screamed only to receive silence.

My heart broke as I peered around the surface, hoping to find him, but he was nowhere to be seen.

Without hesitation or caring for my well-being, I dove back into the depths of the underground lake.

You must be here! Please! Let me—

Even though my small lamp could barely light up the murky water, I reached into the darkness, hoping to catch him—a moment where fate would have to guide me as I was at their mercy.

Please! I can’t lose you! Please! I can’t!

Miraculously, I grabbed onto a hand within the blackness of the depths as it never hit me that the limb could’ve been the people who died there. Using all of my strength, I yanked whoever was in my grip up to the surface, only to breathe a sigh of relief when I saw Alijah.

However, he was unconscious, eyes shut as his forehead bleed from a blow he had sustained while protecting me. There were multiple cuts on his body, too.

Why… did you… No, focus! Get to the shore!

The seconds it took me to reach the shore felt like hours, as every fiber wanted nothing more than to see if he was okay. Once out of the water, I dragged him onto the cavern floor, where my heart dropped again.

“Alijah?” My voice quivered as my entire body ran cold.

No… No! You aren’t breathing!

Something snapped within me when I checked his neck for a pulse, but there was none. My breath hitched as I instinctively did compressions before sealing my lips onto his and giving him oxygen. After two breaths, I compressed his chest again.

Dad had taught me how to give first aid if needed. However, I was trying hard not to cry and become a mess.

This is all my fault! My fucking fault! Alijah, please! You can’t leave me! Not now! Please!

“You can’t die here! Do you hear me?! You can’t, Alijah!” I tried so hard not to break into a sob, yet I was failing as tears were already rolling down my cheeks.

“No! You can’t leave me!” I screamed, slamming my hands onto his chest as a purple shimmer radiated from my blow throughout his body.

A second later, his eyes flew open, coughing out the water in his lungs as I broke. Everything had happened in less than two minutes, but it felt like hours had passed. I didn’t even let him compose himself when I jumped into his arm, weeping like a small child.

We were both soaked but alive. Feeling his chest rise and fall gave me an unyielding comfort that nothing else could’ve. As I wept, slowly... the crystals around...

“Rem—” Alijah tried to word.

However, more coughs left him as he panted for air. Struggling to catch his breath, he cupped my cheek as I sobbed harder than ever before. All that bombarded my mind was how he almost died because of me again.

“Rem... I’m okay.” His voice was hoarse as I shook my head, continuing to cry.

A soft sigh left his lips when he grabbed my shaking hands before placing them onto his cheeks.

“Rem, look! I’m alive!” He assured with his husky voice.

His hands were so firm on mine that I could barely hold it together.

If something happens to you, I’ll destroy everything to find you, even in death. Nothing will ever… separate us…

Even though I wanted to give up on this fruitless love, I couldn’t control what happened next. Instantly, I pushed Alijah onto the ground, clashing my lips with his. Part of me didn’t care about the rejection I thought would come soon after.

No, I only wanted to feel that addicting warmth I was so used to in my fantasy world. Pinning him down onto the cavern floor with my hands on his chest, I sought for more than I knew I could have.

Please… Just a little more… I want this all to be a nightmare.

Instead of shoving me away, the surprised wolf clasped his hands on my head before licking my lips for permission. There was little hesitation before I met his tongue with mine as a soft hum left him.

While our tango for dominance raged on, Alijah kept one of his hands on the back of my head while the other trailed down to my bum. I could barely breathe while we continued feverishly to make out, feeling my body with a warmth I couldn’t keep a hold of.

A soft whine left my lips as the kiss became hungrier with each moment that passed. When my small lamp shut off because of a timer, it didn’t matter to me how dark it had become. No, all I wanted was to feel his hot breath against mine as every fiber of my being wished for more.

Separating only for a slight moment, I mimicked what Alijah had done to me before, only to meet with his tongue again. A slight moan left his lips when my body fully pressed against his as my hips ground on his.

His hand squeezed my bum, and I couldn’t stop my pursuit of him. If time could stop, this would be my stay.

I love you too much. So much it hurts, Alijah. I can’t… I…

Following the pull of my heart’s strings, I continued to kiss him until all my senses dulled. Until I knew he was alive and breathing while under me. A soft groan left his lips as I continued to buck my hips on his groin, prompting him to thrust into me.

Ah… There’s something hard under…

Letting go of my head, his other hand landed on my bum as well before suddenly pushing us up and forcing me to straddle his lap. With the sudden shift in dominance, I couldn’t help but mewl into our kiss as it raged on.

Saliva dripped down my chin as my tongue continued to seek his warmth. As muddled as my thoughts were, my mind quickly snapped together once I realized how brightly his eyes were shimmering.

Wait… What… What… am I…. What have I done?

His hand traveled from my bum to my chin before leaning into me again, only for me to tear completely from his embrace. As I took steps away from the frazzled wolf, the ache was secondary to the thoughts bombarding me.

“Rem?” He mumbled, out of breath for reasons other than his dance with death.

Ah… I’m no different from all the girls who did that to you so long ago! Stupid, Rem! How could I be foolish!

Shaking my head, I felt stings in my eyes.

I… I attacked… No! How dare you do this to Alijah?! Out of everyone! You! Rem! You know what…

I had let my emotions slip, and I wanted so much more.

I really love you! I love you so much! Please… this wasn’t because I… I didn’t do this without… I’m not like them!

He was everything I dreamed of, plus much more. Around me, the crystals slowly shone brighter, responding to my inner turmoil. It would’ve been a beautiful sight to behold, but to me, I only felt heartbreak.

There’s no way you don’t know how I feel now! Not that it matters after I attacked you like that! Ah… I… I wish…

My gaze shifted towards a luxorite, tempting me to touch one to make all the pain disappear. But that selfish action would’ve put Alijah in danger—something I would never allow to happen. It didn’t matter how much it hurt.

These emotions were exploding.

“I’m sorry, Alijah.” I finally let out, clasping my hands to my chest.

Please… don’t hate me.

Standing up from where I had attacked him, he slowly approached me. However, I refused to look directly at him, shivering right where I stood.

“Rem, why are you apologizing?” He asked.

Did you confuse me with Lilith? It has to be! Right?! But I… didn’t confuse you with anyone! I had no excuse!

“Because... I wanted to be different, but I’m not. I can’t… stop…” I trailed off, voice breaking.

He closed the gap I had created, clasping onto my hands, which trembled.

“What are you saying? You are different,” Alijah reassured me.

Please... Please... stop! You know Lilith will come back! Why are you still being kind to me? Why did you let me kiss you like that? Why…

The kiss at the camp cemented hope within me, and it erupted in me like an unstoppable blaze. I couldn’t control myself anymore—a mistake I had to correct. I didn’t want him to lose his faith in me.

Surely you’ll hate me now!

“No! I’m not different!” I shouted, tearing my hands away from Alijah’s dangerous warmth.

A pulse of energy left me, triggering the cave to shutter at my steps. The crystals around us continued to respond to me as my emotions caused my magic to erupt uncontrollably. This triggered the dark sensation within me, merging my blood lust with my desire to have him.

Drown it!

“I’m sorry... for allowing myself to be ruled by the happiness of seeing you breathe! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to let them out!” I cried.

“Rem…” He breathed as my eyes remained planted on something other than him.

“No! I… I can’t stop it. My feelings… I… I…” I trailed off, wincing as my head felt like it would split apart.

It was so hard not to assault him. The gods knew how much I wanted it. Sadly, he wasn’t backing down, either.

“Oi, Rem,” the worried wolf called out, firmer.

The simple thoughts of what he could’ve said left me feeling colder than anything else.

“No! It won’t happen again! I’ll make sure of it! So... so... I... Please…” I shook my head, taking a few steps away from him.

I have to get away before I ravish you. Like I’ve done many times in my dreams. Over and over, we made so much love for them, but the reality is much more addictive.

The sensation of his lips still burned on mine.

“Oi, Rem, let me—” he tried to reach me.

I didn’t let him.

“I... am not Lilith, Alijah!” I snapped, gripping onto my shirt, trembling.

“Fuck!” He grabbed onto my arm, yanking me into his arms.

I wanted to sink my teeth into him—every fiber of my being wanted to make him mine. Yet I had to fight that urge.

You aren’t mine to begin with.

One would think this was not my first time with a man, but it was. My first kiss was that night of the bond, too. Well, aside from all the dreams I had with him.

Hah... You must think I’m a slut or something else, but I have known you for longer than…

“I know! I know you aren’t her!” Alijah growled loudly, clinging to me.

He wouldn’t let me go, leaving me to grip his arms.

“You’re nothing like her. You stupid luma,” His voice broke.

I didn’t know the meaning behind his words. No, I didn’t allow myself to see the significance behind them. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have let him leave this cave until I had my way with him.

For a while, he held me as I tried to keep the urges that were swelling within me confined.

“Look,” Alijah mumbled, releasing his hold on me.

I glanced up to see the crystals dimming, changing the scenery. They almost seemed like stars in the night sky. Before, when I was going crazy, the crystals were like light bulbs. In an instant, I felt woozy.

Glancing down, the foot that had been cut had stepped into one of the dimmed smaller crystals. Alijah called for me, noticing my skin color go pale along with every ounce of emotion within me—an instant cure for my panic attack.

Too bad it means…

“We...” I tried to tell him we had to leave, but the words wouldn’t leave me.

Instead, my vision blurred as my eyes rolled back, leaving my drooping body without a grip to hold onto.

“Fuck this.” Alijah cursed, glowing brightly.

The power he exerted was intense while holding onto my limp body. However, everything was too blurry to see, leaving me unable to tell how he opened a way out of the hole we were in as the intensity of his power triggered the cave to collapse.

Once outside on the warm grass, he shifted, picking me up in his mouth. Even though the bond prevented him from harming me, his teeth sunk deep enough so I wouldn’t slip out of his mouth. I barely felt any pain because of what was happening to me.

Instead, all I felt was the familiar embrace of death coming for me. My consciousness wavered while Alijah ran faster than he had ever done before.

Please... whatever you do, don’t kill him... Don’t kill the person I love the most. Please... I beg you...

Those were the last thoughts that crossed my mind when my consciousness finally failed, sending me plummeting into the darkness.

Chapter Text

The next time my eyes flew open, I jolted awake to find myself in a weird shack. It was morning, and the sun shone through the wooden boards of the house.

Where… How… What?

Every thought was muddled as parts of my body stung while I struggled to find my way out of the bed. The texture and waviness of my movements made me wonder if they made the mattress out of water. In my battle to climb out of the seas that made the bed, I knocked over the lamp on the nightstand.

The loud noise of it crashing onto the floor caused Alijah and an ocean elf I had never seen before to rush from the other room. When my companion saw me awake, he smiled happily as a glimmer of light shined in his eyes.

“Rem—” He started only to be pushed out of the way by the eld, who grabbed my hand.

He checked my pulse before placing his forehead against mine to feel for a temperature, which triggered the wolf to growl. Upon closer examination, the elf had beautiful icy-blue eyes that matched his aqua-colored hair perfectly.

His tanned skin was typical of ocean elves who loved to be out in the sun. A smile slowly arose from his lips, glancing over at Alijah, whose eyes twitched.

Why can’t I remember anything after falling asleep in a forest? Maybe a campfire? How did I get here?

“Her pulse’s stable now. Be proud. You got her here just in time.” The elf announced.

Crap… I must’ve done something wrong.

Alijah stepped into the room, recovering from the shove he had endured without saying a word.

Huh? Why aren’t you talking back? Are you sick?

I cocked my head, unable to put the pieces together. “What?”

What do you mean by getting me here on time? In time for what, exactly?

The elf quickly picked up on my cues since he knew more of what was happening to me than I did.

“Ah... Yes, you must be very confused. The medicine used for luxorite poisoning has a common side effect. You probably won’t remember what happened before and after the exposure for a bit, but it should come back to you later.” The elf tried to clarify to me.

“Luxorite? What?” I mumbled.

“You don’t remember anything? Not even touching one?” Alijah sighed, sitting next to me.

Does this mean I fucked up when we went into the cave? Oh no…

I knew way before even getting into the cart with the merchant that we were headed there, but the only thing I remembered clearly was up to a campfire.

We had a campfire, right? Were we talking about something? Everything’s so hazy, though.

All I remembered clearly was setting up the fire when Alijah went hunting for some food for us after an embarrassing morning. The unknown elf picked up the fallen lamp as I focused on Alijah. There was no shine to be found on his expression like before.

Have I done something wrong? I… I have to speak. Figure out everything…

“No... I think we ate a bunnies at a campfire, but I’m not sure.” I tilted my head.

A sharp growl left his lips with a pout, “You think?”

Ah… why did I find that cute? What did I say to you for you to become this way?

I felt like I was missing something big.

What is it, though?

However, the elf wouldn’t allow me to find out.

“She may remember later after the effects of the medicine wear off a bit. By the way, my name’s Wyatt, a junior medic here in Lokul.” He introduced himself.

Wait, we’re in Lokul?! Huh… Where the heck is that?

I nodded, acknowledging him and his credentials. This man was an ocean elf healer, a rare thing since only moon and sun elves had potent healing magic. Well, all elves had the potential to heal with their magic.

However, only sun and moon elves could seal wounds with their magic, while the others had magical potions to help. These soothed and speeded up the healing of most afflictions. The medicine the elf had used to heal me was an antidote to ward off the effects of the crystal within my system.

“Ah... Thank you.” I smiled, grateful for his help.

You seem like a nice guy.

He smiled before heading towards the door and turning to me once again.

“Now that’ll be ten gold coins. Don’t worry about it now, though. I’ll go get some tea to help with fatigue.” Wyatt suddenly announced, leaving me with my jaw dropped and eyes opened.

Or not… That’ll eat a chunk out of our budget.

Of course, it would be expensive since that medication was hard to produce and was only made in the Earth elf nation. When Wyatt left the room, something other than money became the priority. After all, I had enough for it in my bag.

Shifting my gaze towards Alijah, I fiddled with my fingers. “So... what happened yesterday? Did I fall into a gem, like the dumb ass I am?”

I expected him to get snarky, but instead, he winced, turning his gaze away from me.

Wait… Did I hurt you somehow? I… What did I…

“Hah... No, you didn’t fall into a crystal.” Alijah sighed, biting his lip.

I reached for him, only to flinch thanks to an ache from the wounds.

How am I… still what?

“Hey, does it hurt?” He reached for my face to remove some of my rogue bed hair.

A blurry memory arose—one where I pushed him down onto the cave’s floor. Shaking my head, I tried to concentrate on what he had asked.

“A bit. What happened?” I mumbled, trying not to focus on the flash of pictures that had popped into my head.

What was that? No…

“I had to carry you out in my wolf form, so… My teeth did a number on you. They weren’t deep, but…” He tugged away from me, leaving me gazing at the mattress.

“They still slow down my healing.” I finished his sentence, knowing fully what Lycan’s injuries consisted of.

Though it hasn’t hit me yet how much that meant for him to have penetrated my skin, even though the spell was active

“Yeah...” Alijah shook his head, shifting his weight on the bed.

“I’m Sorry for being a handful.” I clasped my hands together to keep them from touching him by mistake.

A sharp sigh left him, “I... am just glad you’re alive, Rem,” he sighed.

Ah… I’ll… It’s because of the bond, Rem. Don’t misunderstand.

“I know. You would be in trouble if I died, huh? That would’ve been a bad thing,” I blurted out without thinking twice.

He winced, shaking his head before biting his lip.

Just what did I do to you?

“Yeah, I would be in deep shit,” Alijah breathed, getting up from the bed with a sharp frown on his lips.

“I-I’ll be more careful, I promise.” I tried to salvage this, only for him to sigh yet again.

If not that, then what do you want me to say?

“It’s fine,” He closed his eyes before shifting his gaze towards the side.

“I see. Well, thank you for saving me,” I added, sluggishly moving to the edge of the bed.

He shook his head, turning his glance onto me.

“We’re partners, aren’t we?” His voice cracked, triggering me to meet with his stare.

All I wanted was to make it right, but I couldn’t remember what I did the previous day.

“We are?” I mumbled, scratching my head.

My words caused Alijah to growl loudly, triggering me to freeze up.

“Oi, you forgot that too?” He snapped, clenching his hands into fists.

Uh oh... I shouldn’t have said that.

“Maybe? Everything is so fuzzy.” I sighed.

Why is it all I remember is the campfire? Wait, did I fall on you there, too? Argh, Rem, why…

“Stupid girl… you know what, how about I get your bag that fell in that mess.” Alijah huffed, eyes twitching.

I had failed to salvage the situation. Perhaps it would be better if I stayed quiet, but...

“There was a mess?” I tilted my head, prompting him to growl loudly before abruptly leaving and slamming the door.

“Okay, okay... You’re so fucked, Rem.” I muttered to myself.

There was no way out of this mess, though.

Why did I forget such a momentous occasion? We became partners! How did that happen?! Argh!

I rolled around the bed, unable to contain my emotions within me. Not that it did any good to my wounds, as each movement stung. However, memories slowly returned to my empty mind with each passing minute.

The feeling of his…

Did Alijah kiss me yesterday?

I tried remembering how it felt, passing my finger through my lips. The memory left me with a warm feeling within my core and an itch I couldn’t quite quench.

Just... how did that happen? Why does everything have to be hazy?

An hour passed without the grumpy wolf’s return, but Wyatt did, and he held three teacups in his hand.

Chapter Text

When Wyatt came in, he scanned the room before focusing on me.

“Oh, where’s your friend?” He asked, handing me a tea that smelled glorious.

I had never sniffed anything like it before. Elves knew how to make extravagant teas, which were highly sought after in Silverant. It was so naturally sweet on the tastebuds—too sweet. Not that I minded; I loved sugary treats.

I never thought I’d have an elf make me tea!

It tasted so fresh, too. And since we were in Azear, they said the best waters in the world were here—the purest and cleanest in Astea.

Wait, we’re in Azear, right?

I had assumed we were, but I never asked.

“Alijah left to go try to find my bag, but he should be back soon,” I answered, sipping my tea.

Although I suspected it to be more than that, it seemed he needed some time to think about something.

Probably about what I did. If I only knew what it was.

“Oh, will he be fine?” the elf asked, narrowing his eyes.

I nodded, feeling under a microscope. Yet again, I was his patient.

It’s only for you to be attentive to me. But why do I…

“I think so,” I replied, taking another sip.

The black wolf wasn’t helpless anymore as he could defend himself, which meant no one could kidnap him easily.

Though... Edna... Why haven’t you made your appearance yet?

The witch loved working from the shadows, but…

Isn’t Alijah your goal? What are you planning this time?

“Your friend should rest, though. I mean, after the sprint he did to get here. Even for a Lycan, sprinting takes a heavy toll with the hot weather here.” Wyatt commented.

I shrugged, “He doesn’t listen well and is stubborn.”

The elf chuckled, “You know, he was so desperate to save you. He begged everyone in the village for help, even when doors shut on him.”

Impossible… Alijah did that? Nah… That doesn’t sound like you at all.

“He did?” I mumbled, grasping the shirt I had on me.

Wait... how did you manage to sink your teeth into me?

The bond should’ve stopped him from doing so, even if it were to save me.

Did your emotions push past the restraints because of your genuine desire to help me?

“Yeah... we aren’t usually kind to strangers. Even less to a Lycans and hybrids, I couldn’t say no to his desperate attempt to save you. You were limp in his hands, and he seemed about to shatter into little pieces if I didn’t step in.” Wyatt commented, shifting his gaze toward the wooden door.

Alijah? Shatter? What? Why is this person saying things that…

After a slight pause, the elf…

“So, I took him in and treated you. That was well over eight hours ago.” He added.

I clasped onto my shirt, feeling my heartthrob. Though it seemed unlikely, Alijah would break just because of my death. I expected him to be angry and demanding, not the scared pup Wyatt made him out to be.

Can I… really mean something to you?

“Thank you for helping us,” I whispered, biting my lip.

That was when flashes of another memory flowed through me as Alijah, and I fell into a body of water. Snapping back, I realized I was in different clothes from the ones I wore the day before.

Wait! Who changed me?

While I was trying to figure everything out, Wyatt continued to chatter.

“You know, seeing him so desperate to save you reminded me of my dad and mom when she fell ill. Though for her, there was nothing that could be done.” The elf recounted as a bitter smile rose on his lips.

“Oh, I’m sorry for your loss.” I apologized.

The elf shook his head gently before petting my head, tracing his fingers down my hair. Shivers rushed through my spine as every hair in my body frizzed.

Why am I…

Then again, the only touch I liked was Alijah’s, while the other men who had touched me before today were my brothers, uncle, and father.

A perk from being locked inside.

“Actually, forget about the payment.” Wyatt declared, leaving me with eyes wide open.

I leaned forward to him, “Are you sure?”

Why don’t you want me to pay? I can’t accept that.

After all, the medicine for luxorite poisoning was expensive. Yet again, ocean elves were known for being too lenient. Caden called them the carefree beings that he aspired to be. But this was too much.

Although I didn’t know if I still had the money I had taken from Silverant, this should’ve been a blessing.

“Yeah. It was nice to see that again.” Wyatt nodded, standing up from where he was sitting and picking up my empty cup from my hands.

He studied it for a moment before placing it on the tray.

“See what again?” I mumbled.

What an odd elf...

He lived in a wooden house, though I imagined the entire village like this. All elves, minus blaze elves, lived in wooden homes. It differed from Silverant and Celestelia, who had them made from cement or bricks. However, in the hybrid country, deep within the desert, some were built out of clay, too.

“Love,” Wyatt chuckled.

What?!

For a second, the elf had left me without a thought, and my mind could barely digest what he said.

Okay! You must be severely mistaken or missing brain cells. There is no way Alijah would show any affection for me after I... After... what did I do? Ah... I told him about Lilith. That was why he said we were partners, but then... he... he…

Images of my wolf pressing his lips on me flowed through my mind as I reached to touch them. The memory alone made them burn along with my cheeks.

You really kissed me!

More memories flowed within me while Wyatt got closer to the wooden door.

Ah… I can’t let this elf think you—

“Wait, you’re—” I went to correct him, only for the lights to flicker before shutting off completely.

Wyatt and I stayed silent momentarily as the feeling of Deja Vu rushed through me. It quickly broke when the eerie alarm blasted throughout the village.

Damn it! Not now!

Alijah was the only thing on my mind again, while a familiar emptiness swelled within my chest.

I need to…

Without hesitation, I threw myself out of the bed, only to meet the floor soon after. Wyatt quickly came to help me when I noticed my legs weren’t listening. It was apparent the drug was still within me. However, that wouldn’t stop me.

I need to find you before a shadow beast does!

That alarm warned us to evacuate to the shelter while the designated fighters kept the incoming monster at bay, but I hadn’t thrown myself off the bed because I wanted to run. The moment I could stand straight, I headed for the door, only for the elf to grab onto my arm.

“I think I know what you’re thinking, but you can’t! You’re going to break your stitches!” He announced, prompting me to wince.

They were already aching, yet…

“I need to find him!” I growled, feeling my heart race faster with each moment.

“You can’t find him if you’re dead!” He gripped my arm before tugging me out of the home.

“Let me go, Wyatt! I need to—” I went to protest as he continued to drag me through the humble village.

Others were also gathering around and heading towards our destination. The village was far from the ocean, and the salty smell didn’t fill my nostrils, which meant we were probably near the cave where I had lost consciousness.

“You don’t! You’re my patient and, thus, my responsibility! Your friend may be at the shelter, too! If not, someone will guide him there!” He huffed as my gaze hit the floor.

No! Alijah doesn’t know what any of this means!

I couldn’t say the words without bringing suspicion onto him. Everyone knew what that alarm meant: a gate was opening to the world of the dead gods, allowing them to slip into our world. I tried to pull myself off Wyatt’s grip, but I still felt groggy, thanks to the drug in my system.

No! No! I have to find you!

The shadow demons from the soul cairn differed completely from Shade, my mom’s familiar. Her power was connected to my mother, while the untamed beasts had no one to channel it through but themselves.

A red moon Lycan could easily defeat Shade by cutting her from Mom’s source of magic, turning her into a helpless kitten. However, in this scenario, there wasn’t any blocking it. Alijah could’ve gotten seriously hurt if I hadn’t found him in time.

Even if he could defend himself, that beast could easily take an arm off. That wasn’t the only thing against the black wolf, as these monsters were immortal in our realm. The only saving grace was that they couldn’t remain long in our world before vanishing back into theirs.

Why is everything going wrong?! First, the raiders, and ... then... something happened in the cave. Didn’t it? But what was it? What happened there? An earthquake? I hurt my foot... but something else...

Ah... right. We fell into a river... then...

Before I could finish that memory, Wyatt yanked me toward the shelter, the only metal building there. It was built because Cerberus mandated all villages have one. It was the only rule the organization could enforce, as every race ruled by itself.

Lycans couldn’t get into elven affairs for other things as that was the council’s role. They were made up of every race, including subraces within themselves. I could barely keep up with the ocean elf because of the injuries.

The pain made me want to pull as hard as I could to get away from Wyatt to find Alijah. Yet…

Maybe… you’re following everyone there? Can I hope for that?

Wyatt suggested other villagers had probably dragged Alijah there, but that also made little sense. The elf mentioned that they wouldn’t typically help strangers.

Contradictory...

However, Alijah could have followed them there, suspecting something if he had returned to the village. When we finally got to the shelter, Wyatt released me, allowing me to search for him inside, much to the peril of my stitches.

Even though my wounds hurt, I didn’t care. All that mattered was…

“Alijah!” I shouted, peering around.

All I wanted was to find him, even though everyone looked at me like I was a crazed hybrid. The shelter itself was big, making it hard to find anyone. The tech was nowhere as advanced as Silverant and appeared unmaintained.

After all my screaming, Alijah would’ve heard me, yet… he still…

Are you still angry with me? Is that why you aren’t coming to me? Or are you not here, after all!? No, no! I need to—

My heart stopped the moment they closed the doors. They were made from the same steel blaze elves used to reinforce airships and shelters. At that moment, my mind went into overdrive.

You’re not here! Wyatt was wrong!

“Alijah, please! This isn’t funny!” I yelled, turning left and right as the entire room spun around me.

This… This is all wrong!

Chapter Text

My nerves got so bad that Wyatt had to yank me away from everyone towards a corner.

“You’ve got to breathe!” He sighed, holding my shoulders.

I can’t! Not without Alijah here! Ah... something like this happened before. Not with the Raiders... but with...

Memories rushed through me again, triggering me to shake my head.

“No! I need to find him!” I growled, pushing Wyatt out of my way and running towards the reinforced wall. Before I could reach it, a guard was there to shove me onto the ground.

“Back off!” He warned, eyes shimmering as I felt my body boil.

The pain didn’t matter to me anymore as I glared at them.

If you get in my way, I’ll—

“Hold on! She’s just looking for her friend!” Wyatt intervened before the situation got out of hand.

“Then tell her to control herself,” The man huffed as an orb passed me, grabbing my attention.

That beast’s coming here. Oh dear, the soldiers didn't stand a chance, and the one alive is guiding it here! The spirit informed.

What?! If it comes here, everyone will—

“Get out of my way! The shadow demon is coming this way!” I snapped, turning toward the door again.

In response, one of them smacked me on the cheek, sending me tumbling back onto the ground.

“What the fuck do you know, luma?” A vampire guard scuffed.

Ah... those eyes...

This man hated what I was. Of course, he wouldn’t believe me even if I had been better at choosing my words. He only saw that I was a hybrid, and that was enough to make me lesser. The blow luckily didn’t knock out any of my teeth, but it did lacerate my cheek.

Spitting out some blood onto the floor, I growled when Wyatt intervened yet again.

“Look, forgive her. She’s worried about her friend. This is a tough situation for all of us. So, can we all calm down?” The elf got in between us.

However, soon, I wouldn’t be the only one who heard something coming. The ghost was proven right when the ground itself shook in its approach. Whatever was coming for us was more significant than the usual beast that came through.

Undoubtedly, it was a demon, a few ranks below Shade herself, who was a high-level Ancient. Mom had classified the demons into five ranks: Lesser, Primal, Sage, Ancient, and Mythic. We were lucky throughout the twenty years that these anomalies occurred.

Only three villages were lost to a catastrophic event like a high-level sage. When Edna ripped part of my mother’s soul, she also took out part of the Gate of the Soul cairn with it, which allowed the beasts to come into our realm for short periods—a period that increased over the years.

Crap... my luck can’t be this bad, can it?

I glanced around, trying to figure out a way out of this, only for it to go eerily silent before all chaos broke loose. In an instant, the wall connecting to the door gave way as the impact sent everyone near the wall flying back deeper into the shelter, including me.

I didn’t even know how I got to where I was as some debris fell on me after I rolled through the ground. Luckily, I could quickly free myself from the pieces of metal falling on me. However, I was bleeding a bit more than I previously was.

The effects of Alijah’s affecting injuries were in my system, slowing down my healing factor.  Most, if not all, of my stitches were ripped as I struggled to get a grip.  Their effects usually took a few minutes to hours to wear off on normal Lycans.

For me, though, it would take a day or more. When wolves usually fought, they had thick fur to protect them, which made it harder for their fangs and claws to do much damage. Flinching, I tried to stand up while screams erupted from everywhere.

I quickly lost my balance and found myself on the floor again. Even though I was unsteady, I could finally get a splendid view of the beast assaulting us. It appeared like a giant lion, with large fangs and two flexible tails that quickly ripped through people.

Horns protruded from its head and back. However, the best characteristics for identifying these monsters were their black, shadowy bodies and big blue eyes, which resembled the color of my right eye.

This one was known as a chimera. It was large enough to make a ruckus, though short enough not to be a sage. Most importantly, it was also blocking one of our ways out. The other exit had some guards struggling to open the door, which appeared to be jammed thanks to some flying debris.

You should’ve listened to me! Those precious seconds probably would have saved lives! Everything that happens now is in your hands!

The moment that thought crossed my mind. I knew my blood lust was coming out, triggering me to shake my head.

No! Not now!

Wyatt, who rolled close to me, rushed to my side to help me up. The beast stuck its head in as everyone ran towards the exit on the other side. I had never been so close to one of these wild demons before.

Even though Shade was one of them, in her weird way, she never made me feel anything but loved, but this beast was another matter. Shivers ran down my spine as every fiber in my being told me to run away from it.

Sadly, this beast spelled bad news for everyone there.

At least Alijah doesn’t seem to be here—a blessing for me. Now, I just need to figure out how to get out of here without dying!

I didn’t have the will or strength to shift like I did the last time. Either way, it would’ve placed all the people here in danger from me instead of the demon before us. The beast within me would kill everyone around me while I kept the shadowy monster away.

Trying to force its way in, one of its tails destroyed the barrier that kept it from coming in fully, allowing entry into the facility where we were stuck. The emergency doors where everyone gathered behind appeared to malfunction, thanks to their negligence.

This was a timed battle, and we were already screwed before it started.

Fighting shadow demons was always a timer-set battle. Lately, though, it seemed to last almost an hour, maybe a bit more. The last time I heard one of my dad’s reports was when he was in his studio.

The beast had lingered in our world for an hour and twenty minutes, making the twenty minutes that had passed since it came meaningless. Thus, we had to deal with this for at least an hour.

Wyatt’s body trembled when I tried to find my footing, only to push the elf to the ground to avoid one of the incoming tails. It tore through anyone who didn’t move fast enough. Blood splattered everywhere while severed body parts fell around us.

If... one slip... I’ll...

Memories flooded again while I was on top of Wyatt.

Back at the cave... after we fell into the river... Alijah... I...

Before I could finish that thought, something ran underneath the beast. A second later, it magically disappeared from my eyes and into a building next to us. There was only one thing that could’ve done that.

Alijah...

The worst was happening. I gazed towards the source to see my beloved wolf standing there. He seemed out of breath, searching around the room for something. Getting off Wyatt, I ran towards my wolf, only for him to receive me with open arms.

The moment I was in his embrace, I snuggled into his chest

“Alijah!” I breathed, feeling safe in his arms.

“Thank the gods. I found you, Rem.” He held me tighter, turning my heart into a fluttering mess.

Why do you sound so desperate? Ah… It can’t be you’re…

That thought made me clasp onto him, wishing never to let him go, though that would’ve been a mistake. Before I realized it, he shoved me onto the ground with my bag in my hands. One of the two tails of the beast almost hit him from behind, which missed him only by a few centimeters, triggering his body to radiate red again.

Stomping down on the beast’s tail, it quickly came charging a second later, only to be met by his fist, sending it up into the air and through the roof.

“Stay here,” Alijah ordered, eyes shimmering.

“No! You can’t—” I tried to warn him, only for him to turn away.

“Stay here, Rem!” He huffed before launching into the air.

He met the falling beast mid-free fall and sent it away from us. Instantly, he followed it before I could say anything to discourage him. With a brief hesitation, I stood up and ran after them. Pain no longer mattered as I pushed past every single tear of my skin.

You don’t know!

It was a fight of endurance, and that beast wouldn’t tire. The one unpleasant aspect of the blood moon’s power was that we could only use it in momentary bursts. Dad always had to take down his opponent within thirty minutes or crash quickly afterward.

My siblings who were born with it maybe had a few minutes more than Dad. As for Alijah, I didn’t know how much he could handle. I couldn’t allow that unknown to slip. His power seemed more destructive than my father’s or brothers', making it more intense.

Wait... how do I know about that? Ah… yes, the cave… you…

Memories continued to flow through me, running as fast as I could. I almost fell twice, stumbling to keep up with the two Titans clashing. With all the adrenaline pumping through my veins, the pain disappeared.

Sadly, I could barely keep up with the two while they fought against each other. Buildings came down with each blow as even Dad, who had more experience with shadow demons, struggled to take them down.

Mom and Vera did it quickly as they could summon gates to send them back. However, Alijah’s fighting style differed from my father’s. He was wilder, while Dad’s way was less chaotic.

Predictable maybe.

At one point, I ran out of breath and needed to stop to fill my lungs with air before going after them again.

Crap!

No matter how fast I tried to get to them, they were always out of reach. Alijah was letting go of all the aggression he had stored into the beast that threatened us, tearing down anything in his path. At one point, he finally slowed down as I finally started to catch up to them.

It probably had been an hour that I had spent going after them. I didn’t keep track, though. My legs trembled from how much I had run. Perhaps it was the lack of blood, too, as my shirt was drenched in blood.

Part of me wanted to collapse, but I wouldn’t let myself. My vision blurred as catching my breath became more challenging to do.

No! I can’t crash now! Not until I get to you!

Luckily, I wouldn’t have to look for much longer when something crashed nearby, almost taking me out with it. It would’ve splattered me on the road if I had moved a centimeter more. Sweat dripped down my face as I glanced toward where the object hurtled.

Quickly, I noticed it was the wolf I had been looking for. He was a bit of a bloody mess, but he had no missing limbs. Finding my second wind, I ran toward him, ignoring the roaring beast that charged us.

When Alijah saw me rushing towards him, his eyes widened as his pupils dilated. He could barely move anymore, though. His stamina had run out, all while the beast he fought was immortal and relentless.

“What the fuck? How stupid can you get?!? Get the fuck out of here, Rem!” Alijah snapped at me, voice trembling.

I didn’t care what he thought when I jumped into him. The strain on his body was too much, though his healing seemed to have sped up. However, all that mattered was his chest rising and falling with each breath.

By the gods… I’m dumb, though.

Even though I ran toward him, I didn’t know how to protect him. I was utterly useless.

“Seriously, get out of here, Rem!” Alijah tried to pull me off him.

A soft giggle left me as I hugged him tighter.

Ah… there is one thing I can do for you.  

What I was about to do would be one of the most reckless things I had ever done, but losing him like I almost did in the cave would’ve been worse. If I were going to lose him, I would also lose myself.

I love you, my grumpy wolf. Don’t look so worried. Everything will be fine. I promise.

How I wished I could kiss him. Though, I had already done that more times than I could count. My memories snapped together, allowing me to recall everything that had happened.

No more. I won’t take anything else from you. I’m sorry for doing that.

“Alijah, sit and stay there until whatever happens next happens,” I ordered, triggering Alijah to freeze.

He glared at me when I kneeled to his level while taking my headphones and MP3 player out of my bag. After putting the headset on, I dropped the bag on his lap as the coin pouch was there—something he would need to stay away from everyone after him.

Luckily, he had already learned how to buy things from watching me in this era.

“Rem?! What the fuck are you doing?!” He questioned.

I simpered, knowing full well that I was crazy, yet there was no time to think of a second plan. The shadow demon would get to us before I could figure out another way. The sound of buildings coming down was coming nearer with each second.

“If I die... you’ll run far away from me until you’re a continent away. Only then will you be freed from me and this bond, but only if I die, Alijah.” My voice trembled.

“No, please, Rem, don’t.” Alijah shook his head, wincing.

Ah… I thought you’d be happy, not like this.

Perhaps I had claimed a bit of his heart—a tiny part- which was good enough for me.

Will I recall the moments we kissed as my temporary death came to hold me? Temporary... but for how long? Will Dad and Mom find me before I destroy Azear, or will they be too late?

At this point, it didn’t matter to me anymore. I could’ve called them by taking off my spell locator inhibiting bracelet. It was the one thing that survived my shift since it was enchanted, but if I had done that, it would’ve been the end for Alijah.

I didn’t want him to be anyone’s prisoner.

“Sto—” my wolf went to protest, but I wouldn’t let him finish.

I could see the beast become more apparent when it dove in between houses, leaving only behind wrecks where they used to be. At least with wood, there wasn’t much dust left behind.

“If I don’t die... and the beast is no more. Then you’ll move again as soon as it disappears.” I finished turning on the mp3. 

I took a deep breath, stepping away from Alijah, whose voice cracked behind me.

“Rem don’t you fucking—” I muffled him with the music that blasted my ears before he could finish.

It’ll be over soon. It’s okay, and I’m sorry.

A few steps away from him, I stood between the beast and my wolf. This beast wasn’t like the ones my mother summoned as it had no master, which meant its only ruler was the undying wrath after being sealed in the dreadful realm known as the Soul Cairn.

Once again, my feet were a bloody mess, as I had come out with no shoes, making my gait unsteady. Yet nothing would move me from where I was as that beast charged at us.

Alijah... For you, I give the world.

Chapter Text

Standing there, I wondered if I was in the right. After all, I was about to doom a nation to save a wolf who wouldn’t do the same for me.

Perhaps I’ll only take out a few villages before Mom finds me. That’s the best-case scenario.

I hadn’t experienced death since I fell out of the roof, which meant I didn’t know if that was a one-time deal thing either.

Maybe I'm about to die for real.

However, it didn’t scare me about facing an actual demise. My body stood firm even though it wanted to give out on me. Everything was turning blurry, and it was hard to stand straight, yet none of it was out of fear.

Perhaps this is wrong of me. I honestly don’t care. At least I got to kiss you. Really kiss you… That’s enough.

After that, all that mattered to me was Alijah and his safety. The only thing that made me hesitate was the thought of him not being able to run me in his current state. Either way, there was nothing else I could do but die for my beloved.

I took a short peek behind me and saw how distressed the little wolf appeared. His entire body shook, and his mouth moved quickly as if yelling at me.

Ah...I thought you wouldn’t care if I died if you were free from the bond. Or maybe you want to kill me yourself. Yes, that has to be why you’re so desperate to save me. I’m sorry… Alijah, I promise I won’t… touch you ever again.

At least you’ll be able to breathe freely after this.

In an instant, the shadow beast smashed through the building in front of us, charging toward us. Opening my arms to the side, I stood my ground, facing the beast head-on.

Damn it, this sucks. Why am I not scared of dying but terrified of losing you, Alijah? I don’t get it; why am I so obsessed with you, who won’t love me back? Ah… It doesn’t matter anymore. Death is coming for me.

Sorry, Mom… Dad… Vera… Caden… Aiden… I won’t…

The moment it got close enough, I closed my eyes, expecting it to collide with me, killing me upon impact. Instead, I felt a gust of wind that knocked off my headset.

Was it like this last time?

Sadly, that wasn’t something I could remember. Instinctively, my gaze fluttered open to see the behemoth inches from me, upward on its hind legs. It took a few steps back before landing back to normal. To my surprise, it stopped, staring at me instead of trampling over me.

What I thought would be an instantaneous death seemed to have shifted into something else. It almost appeared as if it were studying me. Alijah sat behind me, deathly silent, while the demon sniffed the surrounding air, prompting my body to respond.

Throbs rushed through my body as a dark aura radiated from me. Before long, my chest burned as I gripped it tightly.

This is… I’ve never felt this way.

My body burning like this had never happened when I was near Shade or Ruzgard, but those two were different. They had a summoner that linked them into this world, while this one didn’t.

"Ah... I knew I felt something here... but who would’ve thought it would be an offspring of the vessel?” The beast glared at me with its shimmering eyes.

Nervously laughing in response, I couldn’t believe it stopped and left me alive. I was sure it would splatter me on the floor when it came that; I hadn’t planned for anything else. It also recognized what I was, which was interesting.

Vera and my brothers never mentioned a beast speaking to them like this one was to me. Then again, they never gave them a chance to.

“D-Does that mean y-you won’t k-kill me, s-sir?” My voice cracked as I finally trembled.

My lungs couldn’t fill with the air that my lungs desperately wanted, especially now that my left breast got hotter with every breath.

So... why does it feel like my birthmark is getting incinerated?!

It didn’t help that everything was blurry with each passing second.

Ah... Am I getting anemic? I won’t even die by the beast, but my stupidity. Fitting for me…

“No... I won’t touch a precious potential vessel, even if it’s broken, but—” The beast snickered, suddenly using its tails to go for Alijah.

Everything happened so fast that my brain could barely register it, but the instant it happened, something radiated from me. I instinctively threw myself onto the beast’s face without a second thought of what could happen to me.

“Don’t you fucking dare touch him!” I snarled, holding on to it for dear life.

At that moment, something else took over me, and a pulse of energy left me as the beast disappeared, but not in the normal sense of its vanishing. It was almost as if I absorbed it upon contact, which wasn’t good.

Seconds after it faded, my world swirled around before it halted as I crashed onto what should’ve been the floor, but I found myself in Alijah’s arms instead. The beast had disappeared, so it freed him from my previous orders.

My body burned hotter than ever before, triggering me to cry out. Even though Alijah’s lips were moving, I heard muffled sounds.

It felt like I was being seared alive from within.

Am I dying?

The last time I died, it was instant. So, I didn’t remember if it hurt, but If I was fading...

I’ll... Alijah... No! I can’t! I won’t!

No matter how hard I tried to speak, nothing would come out. I wanted to order him to run as fast as he could, but I didn’t even know if I was screaming. All I knew was that I was in Alijah’s arms while he tried to help me.

Instead, I felt my magical essence grow uncontrollably, prompting the wolf’s body to radiate the crimson aura.

Is that what’s happening?

The beast that invaded my body sent my magic into overdrive, threatening to decimate everything around me.

If that’s it, then I…

Alijah was okay if he kept his aura up, but it wouldn’t last. He was tired already from the fight with the beast. Scratches appeared on his face when he hugged me tightly, not wanting to let me go.

Fool... such a fool.

I wanted him to run, yet that was a wish he wouldn’t do willingly.

Will I kill you? Will I be the death of you?

Memories from the cave rushed through my mind when he wasn’t breathing.

No... I... I...

My body pulsated faster as I tried to fight back.

Good girl! Don’t let it take what’s mine! The same voice from the raiders’ cave arose.

The burning sensation continued to spiral within me as I refused to go down.

Purify it! Turn it to ashes! It echoed within me as tears swelled in my eyes.

Don’t you dare back down, Rem! This pain is nothing!

“Rem!” I finally heard Alijah say clearly.

He held me tenderly close to his chest as his voice sounded so torn and hurt.

Why... do you sound like that? No... I don’t ever…

Tears trailed down my cheeks as I never wanted to do anything to hurt him. Even before I met him, he was my everything ever since I saw him in that picture when I was fifteen.

When I dreamt of you…

This wolf was my wish come true, even if he was a butthead. It wasn’t like he wasn’t like that in my dreams, though a bit more loving towards the end.

Ah… but it didn’t start like that. Hey... Alijah, have you ever dreamt of a girl like me while stuck in that timeless prison?

The dimension they trapped him in worked differently from ours. Where he had been, the present, past, and future appeared in one place. That was why he never aged, even though he was thousands of years old in this era.

However, that wasn’t a question I could ask freely.

If I had met you before I knew about Lilith, I would have told you everything, yet those dreams are about a future that will never be.  

If I ever tried to cast a powerful spell, usually, it would backfire and knock me out. That was why Vera always had to help me channel it. However, losing consciousness would be for the best. I was still alive, so if I wasn’t conscious, even if it was a short amount of time before my heart stopped beating.

Perhaps then you can get some control of the situation. I’m sorry… for everything, for kissing and trapping you. I can’t help it. I love you, Alijah.

Orbs of lost souls appeared around me while I tried to concentrate through the pain.

One... Two... Twenty... Thirty...

I usually could get to hundreds, but in my weakened state, it would only be a matter of time until... In that instance, it appeared like a bomb went off, as a purple light consumed everything around me and my consciousness.

It almost felt like I drifted into a slumber from which I struggled to wake.

Chapter Text

For a while, I lay in the comfort of darkness before being pulled out by a familiar scent. The next time I knew my surroundings, I jolted awake to find myself in Wyatt’s room again. A lavender incense was being burned next to me, the same scent Mom used to sleep with every night.

No, the entire Silver Manor smelled of it.

The whole manor usually smelled of that flower, but I wasn’t home, which left me disoriented, unable to figure out what was real and what wasn’t.

Was everything a dream? No...

It was impossible for everything that had happened to be a fantasy I had made. I also still felt the burning sensation in my chest, triggering me to take off my shirt to check what was going on. Someone covered me with bandages instead of being met with the usual skin. I was so preoccupied with the pain to notice Alijah, who was watching me, while he rested beside me.

The moment I tried to remove the wrappings, he grabbed me by my hands, preventing me from doing so. My eyes were glued to him, and I couldn't locate myself fully. My memory was jumbled, but when I saw Alijah, my hands trembled uncontrollably as they finally snapped together.

The beast, this wolf... All the pain I caused you!

Suddenly, my aches became secondary when I instinctively hugged him, who seemed fine at first glance. There was no trace of what I did to him on his body. Even so, I cried his name when he slowly peeled me off.

His eyes were bright red, pushing me back onto the bed.

“Stop. You’ll tear your stitches out again, and you just started to heal, too,” Alijah growled, narrowing his eyes.

The way he held me left shivers running down my spine as his demeanor was hard to read.

After everything that happened… I don’t know where to start. Especially how I… got here.

“What happened?” I mumbled, shifting my gaze towards the side as the wolf held me down before leaning closer to me.

His fangs flashed for a moment as his lips curled downward, leaving me wanting to shrink where I was.

Ah… If you didn’t hate me before, you surely do now.

I probably went overboard with my orders, but I wanted to ensure he was safe. He didn’t know what would happen if I died.

Come to think of it, how did I survive that?

I guess my blood loss wasn’t bad enough to kill me. However, it made me feel sluggish, and worse was the stitches he talked about. No wonder I felt discomfort.

Did Wyatt sew me up again? Crap, I forgot to tell him that I’m not like normal Lumas.

Stitches and Lycans never mixed well, which meant if my healing factor was going off, then the stitches would become more than a bothersome occurrence. Alijah didn’t know how my healing worked, and neither did Wyatt. After all, most lumas didn’t heal at all.

“I don’t know, Rem. How about you tell me what the fuck that was about?” The wolf questioned.

Is it because of the cave or the orders?

My mind struggled to comprehend what was going on. Alijah was wearing clothes different from those I had bought him.

Are they Wyatt’s? When did this… I…

I had failed in so many aspects.

Yet perhaps this is a blessing in disguise. I can give up this stupid, senseless love if you hate me.

The thought of him loathing me made my chest feel heavier than ever before, but it was for the best, even if we had become partners.

Crap… I could’ve been your close friend if I hadn’t messed it up in that stupid cave! Argh! None of that matters! You can’t know how I feel about you!

Though surely he knew already.

“I... thought I would die.” I sighed, knowing nothing I said would be enough for him.

My words triggered Alijah to growl in response as his grip on me tightened, causing me to wince a bit. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. After all, it looked like…

Don’t you want me to die? I mean... we became partners, but won’t it be better if I’m not around? You would be able to find Lilith without me freely… Ah, damn it, I’m... probably slowing you down, right?

“And who would’ve fucking won from that? Are you brain dead or something?” The wolf chided, voice breaking by the end.

Why… does it look like you care about me?

“I’m sorry if I worried you, but I don’t understand why you’re angry,” I mumbled.

That's right… you want to kill me. I can’t forget that.

If I had never met him, he wouldn’t have been assaulted or nearly drowned.

“What?” Alijah muttered, eyes twitching as I dug my grave deeper each time I opened my mouth.

There was no escaping his wrath. Even so, I didn’t know how to stop talking—one of my exceptional qualities Vera hated.

“Noisy, Rem,” she called me all the time.

Shaking my head, I bit my lip. “I was freeing you. If I died, you would’ve been freed from this bond. Shouldn’t that make you happy?”

A weird smile rose on his lips, triggering my heart to ache in ways I couldn’t stand.

Ah… I hurt you.

I froze where I was as he let me go.

Why do you seem so hurt? Ah... I screwed up again!

“Yeah... Okay. I’ll make a note next time. Fuck you, Rem.” Alijah growled, pulling away from me before sitting in a chair nearby, grumbling to himself.

This wolf had left me blinking rapidly where I sat.

Why do you care? Why did you rush to catch me when I fell? I don’t understand.

He was too much of a puzzle to solve, making my feelings unstable.

There is no way I won a small space in your heart, Alijah. It can’t be.

This was a hope I would never allow myself to feel because if I did, I never let him go. Luckily, the burning from my chest kept me grounded as my focus quickly shifted to the bandages again. Unfortunately, the annoyed wolf in the room wouldn’t let me at them, growling each time I reached to rip them off.

How can you say so many things without saying anything at all? From how you look at me, I can tell you’re annoyed.

A soft sigh left me as any little sound I made seemed to irritate him.

Is it me, or am I walking on eggshells around you? Argh, I’m being impossible, aren’t I? I should be happy that you care, but I’m terrified that I won’t be able to hold back if I accept it. I’m already struggling to do that!

I was a coward for anything involving Alijah.

There isn’t any reason for you to want me once we find Lilith, so whatever affection you may have, it won’t outlast the love you have for your dead lover. Yes, the only reason you responded to me back in the cave must’ve been a lapse in judgment, and it must be the same thing happening now.

Or maybe you’re lonely after all your years in solitary, and I’m a potentially warm body.

There was no way those kisses or this demeanor meant anything other than physical pleasure. However, when those thoughts crossed my mind, I felt warm from remembering how he felt on my lips.

Woah! This is dangerous! Don’t go there, Rem!

Even though it burned like crazy, I didn’t rip up my bandages, fearing that would make Alijah angrier than he was. He had all the right to be bothered by all of this.

Ever since the cave… this is all because I couldn’t control myself back then.

I didn’t differ from all the women who were after him. Unlike them, I didn’t care if I conceived a child with him. All I wanted was…

Make you smile and all mine—something that will never be.

However, that thought made me wonder if he knew why he didn’t conceive all those years ago. Lycans born under the blood moon were rare, occurring only twice, with Dad and Alijah being the only two known cases.

They were also born sterile until the following red moon, which activated their powers and reproductive capabilities. Few scientific advancements occurred during Alijah’s time, which meant they never knew he couldn’t father anything.

This wolf was probably unaware of why all the girls who ravished him never bore a pup.

All their efforts were in vain, which meant they tortured you for no reason at all. Argh! No, those people all deserve eternal punishment!

An hour passed before I struggled to find my way out of bed as the grumpy wolf watched me closely. The burning had gotten to the point I couldn’t ignore it anymore, yet when I went for my bandages again, he stood up, closing the gap between us before grabbing my hand.

In response, I winced and shook my head. However, it wasn’t from the way he grasped me because of the stitches that were becoming more of a bother with every second that passed. It was apparent Wyatt hadn’t used the special ones that Lycans used, which were made from a degradable material so our cells could break down quickly.

Heck, they probably don’t even exist in this village.

Humans, with their alchemy, had made them, much like many other valuable items, yet in an elf-dominated region, I could tell why they wouldn’t be readily available—that and their cost was much more than expected.

That magicless science brought many gifts and horrors, one of which was gunfire. This development made the elves unhappy, yet they couldn’t intervene. Not even the council could do anything about it.

When Alijah noticed my discomfort, he ripped off the bandages in one swift movement, faster than I could.

“What the fuck?” His eyes narrowed before heading outside of the room.

Even though I should've felt relief that he was going to find me comfort, it hurt to see him not react to my bare chest.

Yes, what happened in the cave must’ve been a hiccup for you. After all, I’m nothing to aim for. This isn’t the first time you’ve seen it, either. What the heck do I expect? Even in my dreams…

Sitting on the bed again, I glanced down at my breast. There, I saw my spherical birthmark had turned pure red, which used to be black. It even radiated warmth—I didn’t know what it meant.

A second later, Alijah returned with special scissors to easily remove the sutures. He observed Wyatt the entire time he worked on me, allowing him to navigate more easily. The moment his hands touched my skin to remove the stitches, I shivered.

Luckily, he focused on his task rather than how I reacted to him, which made it feel like torture to feel him so close yet far. I struggled to keep my hands from pushing him away as he relieved me of every stitch in the front of my body.

Once done in the front, Alijah moved to my back, where I subconsciously yelped when his fingers touched me, triggering his ears to twitch.

“Did that hurt?” He grumbled, triggering me to shake my head.

“N-No! It didn’t!” I quickly clarified, shifting my gaze to him before turning so he could see my back better.

A soft sigh left his lips as I found myself pinned onto the bed a second later while he traced his fingers on my back. Shivers ran down my body when a small chuckle left him while he snipped the stitches he found there before throwing the scissors to the side.

I thought it was over, though my heart stopped when he pressed himself against me.

Is this payback for my orders or for attacking you in the cave? My heart…

“You... have such cute reactions to me. Why, Rem?” Alijah asked, freezing me where I was.

Ah! Why can’t I hide things better?!

I doubted he knew how I truly felt, but it was apparent he noticed how he could make me react, which wasn’t good.

No, Rem, Alijah isn’t stupid. It’s obvious how I feel about you kissing you in that cave. Damn it, no! You can’t know!

“I don’t—” I stopped at the sound of a door opening outside.

In an instant, Alijah got off me, allowing me to put on my shirt as a familiar voice erupted from the wooden walls, sending my brain into overdrive.

“Caden! What are you doing?! You can’t just go into people’s homes!” Aiden scolded my brother, who was dangerously close to finding us.

Instinctively, I grabbed Alijah, dragging him onto the bed before using my hand to cover his mouth.

Crap! Nothing is going right! Of course, they will be right behind me at every step!

Noticing my demeanor, Alijah stayed still. All while behind the closed door, a scene unfolded.

Chapter Text

My brothers had unexpectedly busted into where we were, freezing us on the spot.

“I swear, I smelled her here, but these fucking incense are messing with my senses now!” Caden complained loudly, kicking a chair.

He was right in the living room of Wyatt’s house.

“You know the elves do this every time their loved ones die, and that doesn’t change the fact that you can’t go into houses without the owner’s permission!” Aiden scolded our rowdy brother, who growled in response to our brother’s rules.

“I don’t fucking care! We need to find Rem! That’s all that matters now before things get out of hand!” Caden argued with him, who sighed in response.

It wasn’t like my carefree brother to sound so worried about something.

“Look, I know you care and are scared. I’m too, but—” Aiden tried to cool off our aggravated brother, who ignored him scrambling around the room.

Have you caught my scent?! Crap!

Luckily, all I could smell was the incense, which meant it would be worse for their noses. Noticing what was happening, Alijah decided I wouldn’t manhandle him without a price. I could feel a smile rise on his lips before his tongue licked the inside of my palm.

I wanted to yelp, but I bit my lip to hold it. My grumpy wolf found the perfect way to get back at me for all the previous things I did, barring the interruption of my brothers.

Will my heart survive this?

That was the only question left in my mind as my eyes focused on the playful wolf before me.

“No, you don’t fucking know Aiden. If something happens to her, I won’t forgive myself. I knew we should’ve taken her with us, but you all dismissed me, like always, and now she’s alone with that psychotic wolf.” Caden snarled.

Uh oh!

A small, low chuckle left Ajiah before tugging my hands down and leaning in to lick my lips.

I...

“Psychotic... I should live up to their expectations. After all, I’ve treated you too gently, Rem.” My wolf whispered into my ear soon after, leaving my cheeks burning.

However, the annoyance on his face was present as his eyes twitched. I couldn’t say a thing back to him, knowing that my voice would be something they recognized instantly. He suddenly shoved his hand down my pants, causing me to gasp.

Before a word left me, his tongue invaded my mouth, prompting me to boil from within. Trialing his hand up my abdomen from my groin, he pinned me to the bed’s headboard as he explored my cavity.

Luckily, their voices were so loud that they overwhelmed any slight noise from this room. I was about to drown, though. Alijah’s tongue caressed mine, triggering me to clasp onto his shirt tightly.

Dragging his hand up my shirt, he softly kneaded one of my breasts, leaving it tender.

Ah… I’m about to go insane.

It instantly left me longing and wanting more than I could have. However, the warmth from my wolf was too addictive to get away from. I couldn’t stop myself from kissing him back as he had hooked me and made my mind fuzzy.

I want more... much more. No… everything.

Grabbing the back of my head, he drew me into a deeper kiss. His tail coiled around my waist. It was almost as if I was in heaven. This wasn’t a punishment at all. To me, it was a reward, one that I wanted to claim.

Alijah… I can’t… I can’t stop myself.

My tongue fought with his, tugging on his shirt for better support. After a few muffled arguments behind us, something changed outside.

“Look, I know how you feel, but we must calm down. Doing things like this won’t do us any good.” Aiden tried to calm Caden.

“I can’t!” He yelled back, voice quivering.

The tone in my brother’s voice caused Alijah to separate from me, allowing me to breathe freely. A saliva string connected us as he held onto my chin, preventing me from following. His eyes locked on the door where my two siblings were.

Caden had caught his attention while my breath was shaky and uneven. This wolf wasn’t good for my heart. The stupid brothers were enticing the already grumpy wolf to act out.

Now, I can’t get rid of the feeling of your lips on mine that’s freshly implanted. How can I keep myself from jumping him?

Seeing him lick his lips while gazing at the door, I felt like I was about to lose it.

Do you realize I’m half Lycan?! Right?!

I could attack him, yet…

No… Wait… You can only gaze away from me because you aren’t interested in me. Right?

That stung to think, especially with how warm everything he did to me was. Tears were about to come out of me. Luckily, my brothers would save me from that pity party, giving me a distinct thing to worry about.

“Aiden, I can’t calm down. Not when she can be hurt along with that psycho. Before they lit up all those fucking incense, I smelled her, but now her scent is so weak that I... What the fuck was she thinking?! She knows better than this!” Caden exploded, slamming his hands into a table in the living room.

A loud crack came from the desk, startling me and bringing me back to this world.

“Your brothers don’t have good manners,” Alijah grumbled, narrowing his eyes towards the door.

Says you?!

Sadly, I couldn’t say a thing back to him. Tracing his finger on my lip, a soft smile rose as he slowly leaned onto me. My heart was about to race again when someone else entered the fray outside, saving me from his attention again.

“Rem probably felt trapped by two overbearing brothers. Honestly, I don’t blame her for running from you a lot.” Sophie huffed, coming into the room where the duo was.

So, she’s with them, too. Probably, Mom asked her to tag along to keep them from killing each other. Typical, of course, you two need a babysitter.

Whenever it came to me, Caden didn’t seem to control himself much because he felt guilty over what happened the day on the roof. Aiden hid it better, but he also was a mess, especially whenever I got sick after that day.

These two would always sleep with me whenever I wasn’t well.

My cute, adorable brothers are overbearing indeed.

If they even knew half of the things I did with Alijah. They probably would get into a fight with him—an unwinnable battle at that.

“Sophie,” Aiden called out, and silence followed as Caden struggled to speak to her.

Part of me always thought the twins had a crush on her. Aiden had made his claim years ago, leaving Caden to act like he wasn’t interested in her, but I knew better.

I know what an unrequited love is.

“She feels different,” Alijah mumbled, ears twitching.

I knew what he meant. He probably sensed she was part of his family line. Dad or any of us could never do that, but this wolf was different. We believed his power came from all the anger he had stored, while Dad's strength came from his affection for us.

All I could do was bite my lip, trying to push all those useless feelings away.

You know that right now isn’t essential, but one day, I have to tell you, you still have family around.

I feared Caden would somehow hear me if I said anything, as he was always the one to find me when I tried to run away from home.

And right now, you’re way too close to finding me!

“We’ll find her, Caden, but the right way. Rem will be fine. She’s a lot tougher than you give her credit for, and the spell Vera helped her with appears to keep Alijah in line. He even saved the villagers here.” Sophie tried to soothe the situation.

“That’s what they think! They don’t know how dangerous that Lycan is. Even worse, with Rem! She’s a hazard by herself. She shouldn’t have left home without us!” Caden shouted. “We’re the ones who have to protect her, not that crazy, bloodthirsty wolf!”

It reminded me of my burning birthmark, which had been quelled since I woke up, but it still bothered me somewhat.

No! No! Alijah doesn’t need to know all that! Please... Shut up, you idiots!

“Caden, this isn’t like you.” Sophie tried to reach out to him.

He was challenging to deal with when he got like this. Probably, seeing the scene of what had just happened didn’t help him find peace. I had run around the entire village after Alijah and the beast, meaning my scent was practically everywhere, but the blood was what made him worse.

“What the fuck do you know what I’m like?!” Caden snapped, lashing out at anyone near him.

You still remember that day, don’t you? I’m sorry, but I can’t go back. Not yet.

“Okay, enough, you know she doesn’t mean any harm!” Aiden growled.

“Look, you saw what happened in that raiders' camp. She did it without having to—” Caden stopped, releasing a deep sigh.

Silence passed as I wished I could bust down those doors and shut them up. However, that might’ve been exactly what they wanted.

“From what those survivors told us. I... can’t let her fall into darkness anymore. Not my baby sister. Not when I swore to protect her. I won’t fail her again,” He finished, sitting on what sounded like the couch outside.

Wait! Wait! Are they planning on staying? No!

Though his words touched my heart, they made me realize how scared my family was of me and what I could do if something went wrong. Alijah sighed, pulled me into his chest, and allowed me to snuggle.

His tail wrapped protectively around my waist, holding me in place while paying close attention to what they were discussing.

“Then we need to kill Edna. It’s the witch’s fault all of this is happening. With her gone, Rem will be free.” Aiden pointed out.

If only you knew how close you’re to me, I get it. After what happened at the raider’s camp, you… I’d also want to find me.

“Rem... isn’t making things easy for us, huh?” Caden sighed, getting up from where he was.

“Of course not. It’s just like her too. An annoying little brat that never knows when to stop and come home.” Aiden huffed.

Deep down, I knew he was trying to hide how scared he was, yet…

Oi! Do you have to make it sound like that?!

“We have to report this to Dad, and there’s no fucking signal in this village. All the fucking incense is messing with my nose, too, so I know I won’t find her trail in this mess.” Caden growled,

They always burned different scents to send off their dead, and there was no doubt that in the middle of the village, there was a party as they celebrated their lives instead of mourning their deaths.

In their eyes, these loved ones would never feel pain again. Thus, they needed to remember all the good times—a strange thing for us, yet a respectable practice.

“After the collapsed cave, I thought I had her too, but all I could smell was him. He’s a monster, isn’t he? So, why would he—” Aiden stopped as someone walked around the room. “Wait, what are you doing?”

Oh, no!

It was yet to be seen whether it would be our saving grace or doom.

Chapter Text

More movements came from outside as I held onto Alijah. No one was coming to save us.

“Nothing, I’m just looking around the room.” Caden huffed.

“But—” Aiden went to argue as Sophie stepped between them.

“Arg, I don’t understand why they took that cave, though. Out of all the ways of Celestelia, that cave is the most treacherous!” Sophie said as someone rummaged around.

“Because it was abandoned. The miners made the entire thing unstable for tourists. Rem’s brainless, but she isn’t a lost cause. She knew that would be her best bet to get Alijah out of there.” Caden scoffed as more movement was heard.

Though, I couldn’t tell who was doing what.

“Well, I would put a point on brainless. The cave collapsed on them.” Aiden chuckled.

I could imagine him rolling his eyes at me, which triggered me.

That entire plan would’ve been brilliant if I hadn’t let my emotions overcome me!

“Well, it would’ve been a good place to find them. Until Alijah destroyed half of the cavern, leaving nothing but a crater behind. How strong is he?” Sophie pointed out.

“Fuck it! Let’s look around this house before we leave. There has to be a clue here somewhere!” Caden opened the door next to us.

Oh! We’re so screwed.

They would hear us if we moved, but if they opened the door, it was also game over. The twins had pinned Alijah and me down, unable to do anything to run away.

“Caden, you shouldn’t do this.” Aiden huffed.

“I don’t care!” He scoffed, grabbing the knob to our door, leaving my heart to stop as Alijah and I were like rabbits caught in a trap.

The moment the knob twisted, it stopped as a different door opened.

“Excuse me, what are you doing here?” Wyatt questioned the trio, who was caught red-handed.

“Oh, sorry. Are you the owner of this clinic?” Sophie quickly countered him with her question.

She reminded me of how cunning Uncle Liam was. It made me wonder if he was also looking for me. The elf’s tone was utterly different from how he spoke to me.

That’s right; they don’t take strangers lightly, especially those caught in the act.

Luckily, whoever was about to open the door to our room stepped away as I clung to Alijah tightly, unable to shake off the kiss or almost being caught. I knew he did it to tease me after being insulted by my brothers, but my heart couldn’t stop hoping for more.

“Yes, somehow it stayed up during the fight. What could I do for you lot?” The elf asked, devoid of any emotion.

If his words could cut, they would’ve.

“Have you seen this girl?” Aiden stepped in, probably showing him a picture of me.

Crap... We’re doomed.

“I have,” Wyatt began, prompting my heart to stop. “But they left the village after the beast attacked.” He finished, leaving me cocking my head.

Why did you lie to them?

Before I could even try to understand, they continued to speak.

“Ah, I see... could you show us where?” Caden asked. “It’s imperative we find her.”

Wyatt sighed, “I didn’t see where they went, but I’ll show you where I last saw them. Follow me.”

The door closed shut behind them, allowing us to breathe freely. Alijah and I stayed there silently, waiting for the three wolves to be far from us. After a few minutes passed, we could finally breathe freely.

Well, to a point.

“Rem... what was all that?” Alijah asked as I shifted my gaze away from him.

Uh… How do I answer that without screwing everything up?

“My brothers have been behind us the whole time, it seems. They are really good at tracking.” I responded.

They have probably been tracking us since the night we got away, and now those survivors from the raiding camp… Have they reported to Dad? Surely, they did. All of those iris and sedatives are an issue for him to fix if there is one.

For all we knew, humans could’ve been selling it to them, too.

Celestelia is a lawless land, after all.

“I don’t care if they are tracking us, Rem. They are Fenris spawn, so it’s predictable. No, what I want to know is why did they call you dangerous?” Alijah studied my reactions.

Oh… No!

“Ah... W-Well, you know I-I can’t control myself well, especially when I shift.” I explained as he narrowed his eyes at me, leaving me sweating where I sat.

“Sounds like it is more than a simple curse.” He grabbed me by my hand.

I couldn’t tell what expression I had on my face, but it probably was nothing convincing, which was terrible.

“Nope... Nothing else. They like to exaggerate everything.” I lied through my teeth, only for Alijah to catch on quickly.

His expression changed as his fangs flashed at me while his eyes turned colder towards me.

“You’re lying to me, Rem,” He growled.

I turned my face away from him as this wolf had learned how to read me. It was impossible to lie to him anymore, so I kept silent when he tugged away from me; however, this time, it seemed different. It felt like if I didn’t chase him, I would never reach him again.

Unable to stay behind, I followed him out the door as he rummaged around the house where my brothers had been. Their fresh scent was all over the place.

“What are you doing?!” I questioned, triggering him to roll his eyes and continue his search.

“Alijah!” I reached out to him only to stop before grabbing onto his shirt.

Ah… I don’t have the right to touch you.

Shifting my gaze towards the grown, the bothered wolf suddenly picked an unlabeled bottle out of the shelves before opening it and sniffing its contents.

“Eh, it smells like it,” Alijah mumbled, suddenly gulping the bottle and dragging my eyes towards him.

Stunned, I stared at him.

Just what the fuck do you think you’re doing?!  Wyatt has been nothing but friendly to us, which was unacceptable!

“What are you doing?! You stupid wolf! You can’t just drink people’s stuff!” I yelped, snatching the bottle away from him.

He licked his lips, suddenly stumbling where he was as he had bottled almost the entire thing down.

“Fuck! I thought it was alcohol!” Alijah muttered.

You thought it was what?!

Turning my gaze toward the bottle, I sniffed it, too. The scent was like ethanol, but there was something off about it, too. I mean, there were many types of alcoholic flavors. I didn’t know what it was, but it smelled familiar, yet I couldn’t place it.

“Oi! You wanted to get drunk?!” I growled loudly, grabbing his shirt as he lost his balance.

I caught him before he hit the ground.

“Alijah, are you hammered?!” I questioned, shifting emotions like flipping through pages.

It couldn't happen so soon, yet he could barely stand up. Grabbing hold of the desk beside us to help himself up, he struggled to stay up as his body shook and breathing became labored.

There is no way you are hammered! Even Lycan liquor takes longer than this to affect us!

He didn’t seem okay, which meant whatever he ingested wasn’t what he thought it was.

God damn it! Those idiots are at fault for this!

Though I couldn’t blame them alone, I had hurt Alijah before they came around. All of this was my burden to bear. I couldn’t even find liability in him for wanting to get drunk to get away from me.

I tried to take a few steps toward the room we were in, as maneuvering around the room was more complicated than I thought.

“You’re heavy!” I huffed, struggling to get to the door before opening it as soft grumbles left him.

With each second that happened, he appeared to get heavier as his movements weren’t his to take. His face was flushed red, too.

Damn it! After laying you down, I must rush to find Wyatt without my brothers finding me!

The bed was closer with each step, yet…

“No… I… Rem... get away from me,” Alijah warned in a husky voice.

“No! I need to get you to the bed, then I’ll get help!” I huffed, struggling to guide him to the watery waves the bed was made of.

It was a struggle, and he muttered a few incoherent things on the way, but I got him back onto the bed. A soft sigh left my lips as I relished this small victory.

Finally, now to see how this—

I went to turn around, only for him to grab my arm and yank me down with him. The bottle fell out of my hands and onto the floor. In an instant, everything changed when he towered over me. Everything from his gaze to his demeanor appeared different.

This black wolf wasn’t entirely there.

Chapter Text

“Alijah!” I complained, finding myself pinned onto the bed.

Fuck! You’re straddling me like I’m some horse! I need to get help!

“Hey! I’m talking—” My voice left me when I saw his expression.

His eyes could barely focus as it felt like he didn’t see me. Sweat dripped down his chin as his labored breathing continued. Every fiber of his body shivered at every slight brush between us as his cheeks were flushed.

No matter how many breaths he took, his lungs wouldn’t fill fast enough. The wolf in front of me didn’t seem to be fully there. I gripped his chest when he held me down with his other hand.

Ah… this isn’t…

Alcohol was a damaging substance, but it never caused this on Lycans. However, nothing would’ve prepared me for who he would call out for.

“Lilith,” Alijah mumbled, reaching for my face so lovingly that I found myself in an untenable situation.

In this wolf’s eyes, I was no longer Rem but someone he adored. Alcohol, even though it made people do crazy things, wasn’t the culprit for this, that much I was sure of.

What the fuck did you get into, Alijah?

Back when I took a whiff of the bottle, it mainly smelled like alcohol, but it probably was something else, too, but I had been too preoccupied with my ill partner to notice anything else. Unfortunately, I had dropped the empty bottle onto the wooden floor next to us when he yanked me into the bed.

If I tasted it, I probably would’ve figured it out. Though the distressed wolf's symptoms reminded me of a trouble Vera got into once.

Is this… It can’t be.

Before that thought could fully form, he touched my chin and tugged my face to the side, exposing my neck. There, I felt his hot breath on my skin as his tongue lapped it soon after, triggering shivers down my spine.

“Lilith, Can I... please? It hurts so much.” Alijah struggled to say, leaving me frozen where I was.

Uh… What…?

Though it seemed he wouldn’t dare touch me in the way he was suggesting unless I allowed it. Even if it would give him relief after everything he went through. He would never take someone by force.

After all, he knew too well what it was to be abused. To tease and take were two different things to this poor wolf. Well, though, it pained me that he was asking for her permission. For a moment, I closed my eyes, trying to get a grip on my chaotic heart.

I need a minute to think, though; who can when you continue to beg me for relief? And it isn’t the innocent kind! Why’s everything becoming such a mess?!

The pain in Alijah’s voice was so apparent that I couldn’t and wouldn’t refuse him for long. Even though my mind raced for another solution, it came lacking options as the only thing that came to mind that could affect him this way was a drug.

A dangerous one Vera experimented on when she was sixteen with one of her friends. After finding the ingredient list online, they had pleaded with her for months to make it for them. She eventually relented, not knowing that most who used the witchcraft aphrodisiac ended up in critical conditions.

After seeing my wolf in pain and begging for release, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he was under the influence of something similar. Even though Lycans were immune to most incantations, which had to do more with their skin than anything else, if the wolves ingested anything, it usually was fair game.

However, that also changed if consumed in large quantities. Even if they resisted, things would affect them like any other race, and this wolf chugged down half a bottle’s worth of whatever it was. If my suspicions were correct, that had to do with anything about what Alijah was feeling, and then he wouldn’t be okay if I left him be.

If I don’t help you, it’ll doom you to an unpleasant experience or worse.

The last person who took my sister’s drug ended up in a coma for months. My wolf had told me that the elders had used these things on him before, so he told me to run.

You must’ve realized what it was when you felt the effects taking hold.

Not that it mattered that he warned me. I would never leave him alone to feel the pain that was coursing through him.

Damn it, why does Wyatt have one of those things in his cabinet? Did he confiscate it from someone?

I didn’t want to think worse of it, and it no longer mattered. It wasn’t the elf’s fault that the grump had gone through his belongings. However, that was a piece of information to remember when we saw him again.

I could’ve ordered Alijah to get away from me. To not touch me, but wouldn’t have helped him. Vera’s friend ended up in critical care for almost a week before being monitored for months in a coma.

The drug had given him a heart attack and brain swelling after using it to keep up with his Lycan girlfriend. It was a young, healthy warlock, too. He

This isn’t something I want to happen like this, but I can’t allow Alijah to suffer.

All I could hope was that this would scar me.

So, I won’t expect anything else from you. Better yet, I won't want anything else like this ever again. Please hurt me in a way I can’t come back from.

Closing my eyes, I clasped my hands onto my chest.

Show me... how much you love her, my beloved wolf.

“Alijah... if you want... and are fine with me. Do what you want.” I whispered, voice quivering

I wouldn’t allow him to feel pain, even if it meant he would hold me under the pretense of being someone else.

Even if it means I’ll be her substitute for you.

It was the least I could do after everything I had put him through.

If it’s just one day... I’ll get over it, right? Right?

The moment those words left my mouth, Alijah smiled gently. However, his expression only made me feel bitter as my chest aches strengthened. I wasn’t the one he was about to make love to, but his eternal love, the elven girl Lilith.

When he peeled off my pants and underwear from me, I glanced away before locking my gaze on the wall next to us.

I have no business in knowing how you look down there.

Though before I gazed away, I noticed a tent in his pants when he pressed against me. He had never responded to me that way. A soft hum left him as he unbuckled his pants after exposing me.

“Beautiful,” He breathed.

Those words stung deeper than I thought they would. Tears filled my eyes as I tried not to think too deeply about what was happening. After all, I had no right to claim him as mine. He pulled down his pants a bit to expose his heat before repositioning himself for better access.

Lilith’s name kept leaving his lips, making me feel hollow. Though, the moment he spread my legs apart, I couldn’t help but cover my face with my hands. It was impossible to hold the embarrassment that was surging within me.

His red aura surged out of him, and I was thankful I didn’t see any ghosts because of it; otherwise, this would’ve been significantly worse. However, knowing they were around and watching, I could imagine what they were saying.

The perverts…

Oh my gosh, that Lycan is holding her while calling another woman!

Oh girl, what are you doing? Push him away!

This is just sad.

Sad, indeed.

A sharp yelp left me when Alijah’s fingers traced my vulva, triggering the naughty wolf to chuckle.

“You... were never this cute before.” He purred, licking the fingers that had traced me.

I lost it a bit. My breathing had become erratic thanks to the anxiety that was building until it hit the boiling point.

I’m cuter than Lilith?

My nerves were becoming my worst enemy. He was the first man to touch me this way. Even though it didn’t matter if he was, they were crazy because...

My beloved wolf’s touching me, and it isn’t a dream!

Though it didn’t matter. Alijah would kill me once he got back to his senses. My heart and thoughts were erratic, turning everything muddled.

Ah… Why did you drink that, out of all things?

In his eyes, I could still tell he wasn’t there.

Damn it, why am I getting excited? You aren’t calling me cute. No… you think I’m her. So, she’s the lovable one.

I wanted this to be over with. I could do without comparing his love to me. Though, it was better this way.

Scar me in such a way that I’ll never recover.

“J-Just... J-Just p-put i-it i-in a-already!” I stuttered at every word.

Alijah was being too gentle with me, and I wanted this to hurt. It was better that way. The more pain I felt, the less I would like to remember this or redo it.

This wasn’t mine to have either way.

I’m just a replacement! You’ll never respond to me the way you did to her. All those dreams were just that! Fantasies!

Jealousy was ugly, and it was all I felt for Lilith ever since I learned about her, yet at this moment…

I wish I could be her for you.

Vera’s friends used to talk about sex sometimes when they came over from their school. Although my sister wasn’t experienced in it, or so I thought. I didn’t know if she did it with Ryker’s son or if they were together anymore.

Not that she would ever tell me anything like that. Most of the time, she wanted me to get away from her.

“You are embarrassing to have around! Just knock it off!” Vera huffed after one of her friends called me odd for trying to join them in their talks.

“Ah… I’ll just go then,” I mumbled as she closed the door to her room.

Of course, all I did was eavesdrop on them after that. Unlike my sister, I wasn’t allowed out of the house because of my condition, but thanks to them, I knew what to expect from a ‘first time.’ At least it wouldn’t be like in my dreams, where everything felt like bliss.

Alijah didn’t have to worry about impregnating me, either.

Being a luma makes my reproductive system unstable.

Mom and Dad worried enough that they took me to the medics to get checked after I got irregular periods. Sadly, they never found the reason. However, I guess it was a blessing since I hadn’t had my period in years.

I think the last time was when I turned eighteen.

When they came, it was only a one-day bleed, unlike Vera, who bled for six days. It wasn’t impossible, but it was tough for me to conceive.

This is probably the reason why the elders gave up on trying to marry me into a Lycan.

They wished to purify my blood, as great-grandpa called it before he croaked.

But there isn’t any point if I can’t conceive. I guess I got lucky in that sense.

“Okay, my love... as you wish,” Alijah murmured lovingly into my ear, tracing my curves with his hands.

He wasn’t aware of how his words killed me inside. Tears swelled in my eyes, leaving them stinging.

Those words aren’t meant for me, but I wish they were. Hey… Will you say I love you to me while in this state? Oh, by the gods… make me deaf. I don’t want to hear it!

Every muscle in my body tensed up as my emotions became a mess, too. Though I found it weird, he hadn’t removed my shirt or his. I would’ve thought Lilith had the jugs that attracted him since he saw me as nothing more than a fly.

Well… this is fine too.

The moment I felt a bit of pressure down there when he pressed himself against my entrance, I bit into my lip, gripping the sheets in suspense. However, my wolf suddenly stopped, triggering me to gaze at him reluctantly.

There I saw he was, still panting for air, struggling to do what he desired.

Did you stop because I’m so tense? Did you notice my negative emotions toward this? Or are you regaining some self-awareness?

It mattered neither way. The drug was going to hurt him if that was what ailed him. He had to let his instincts take over to work it out of his system. Pushing my feelings away, I focused on my beloved wolf.

Slowly, I reached to touch his face, softly caressing his cheek. If I didn’t control myself, I would hurt him more. I shouldn’t have mattered to him in the state he was in, yet there he was, resisting to shove himself into me because of the way I felt.

I had to fix that.

Such a sweet wolf... Please… don’t be like this.

“It’s okay, Alijah,” I whispered, simpering.

Even though his only reason for being so gentle was who he thought I was, it left me open. My heart would never recover from this, and that was okay—at least he would be happy in the end.

How can anyone ever hurt you the way they did? And they dare call you a monster. No… you were never one. They were all the beasts in the end.

Tears trailed down my cheeks as I couldn’t hold my emotions for him any longer. They weren’t for sadness but the frustration of what I would never have. With a brief hesitation, I invited him to continue by pressing my lips on his.

Fuck it... fuck me, fuck everything. Let go… It’ll be okay, my beloved Alijah, let go.

Chapter Text

Feeling my lips on his, Alijah’s eyes widened before responding to me and allowing our tongues to play with each other. His mouth tasted so sweet that it reminded me somewhat of the tea Wyatt had given me.

Why…

My wolf wouldn’t let me think anymore, though. I felt his firm hands grasp onto my hips.

If only… this could be mine. I don’t think the pain will be enough.

In our feverous kiss, my wolf hesitated very little to plunge himself into me. The sudden movement caused me to gasp in incredible agony as it was like I was being torn in two. I quickly drew away from our kiss, fearing I would bite him.

This wolf hadn’t treated me as the virgin I was. After all, in his mind, I was someone he had held many times before throughout their two years together. I thought I was prepared mentally, but in all my dreams, it never felt this way.

Desperately, I tried to fill my lungs with air, locking my eyes on the wall beside me. There was no way I would gaze at the expression he was making. However, my ears would hear him while I clung to the sheets instead of him.

“You’re... so tight!” Alijah moaned, pushing himself in the rest of the way.

His arms caged me under him as my thighs trembled while they rested on his hips. My breath hitched, feeling his member twitch in me.

Ah… It hurts! It hurts so bad!

A soft groan left my lips even though I was trying to muffle them. Suddenly, he exploded within me, and even though throbs of agony rushed through me, my novice body couldn’t help but find release along with him.

A mewl left me, blurring my vision and leaving me to twitch under him. He panted, trailing his hand down my shirt. There, I heard him click his tongue. However, I refused to gaze away from the wall.

Well, until…

“Rem?” Alijah mumbled, triggering my heart to flutter madly.

I couldn’t help feeling like the weight was being taken off my shoulders when her name didn’t leave his lips again. Another moan came from his mouth as my reaction to hearing my name come from his lips was to tense up even more than I had before.

My tail wagged under me, unable to help myself. It was far from over, but somehow unleashing his load into me instigated him to regain himself somewhat. However, I refused to look straight at him—something the troubled wolf remedied by grabbing my face and tearing my sight off the beautiful wooden wall on which I had planted my eyes.

“You... stop trying to tear my dick off!” He growled with an expression I never thought I would see on his face.

His cheeks were flushed as his eyes shimmered brightly, hungrily studying me.

Oh… Oh… I’m…

“I… d-don’t mean t-to.” My voice quivered, prompting the wolf to wince.

“Why didn’t you order me to stay away?!” The distressed wolf soon questioned harshly, out of breath.

He appeared to be in pain, even though he seemed to worry more about me. I knew I was doomed no matter what I said. That he would want me dead, no matter what, as this was a line crossed we could never come back from.

Even if I let it happen because I feared him being harmed, without a doubt, this portrayed me the same way as the hordes of women who did this to him under the same circumstances.

I’m no different.

“It... w-would’ve been h-hard on y-you!” I answered, trying not to let myself feel anything, yet my entire body gave me away.

Why won’t the tears stop? Why doesn’t my voice sound normal? I don’t want you to…

When these words left me, Alijah growled, only clasping onto his chest and slightly panting again. The effect of the drug was there, which meant he wouldn’t be able to control himself for much longer.

“Oi... Are you brain-dead?! You don’t do this because you—” Alijah started, only to stop suddenly as his eyes widened.

I closed my eyes, waiting for a further scolding, but instead of that, I felt him trace his fingers on my vulva, causing me to squeal. Not because it hurt but because it was sensitive to any stimulation. Instinctively, I gazed at him to see him staring at his bloody fingers.

Ah… Are you disappointed that no one has held me before? I’m… sorry if it’s an inconvenience.

Although I never wanted him to care for or treat me differently.

“You... are so fucking stupid, Rem! How could you let me do this to you?!” Alijah’s voice broke, squishing my cheeks with the hand he used to hold my chin in place.

Ah… It must’ve been displeasure to come out of that dreamlike state and see me under you. Someone other than your true love.

“I’m sorry for everything! I promise… I won’t touch you or anything after this, but please use me as her replacement for today. It’ll be difficult for you otherwise.” I tried to hold my tears back, but they rolled down my cheeks.

Please… don’t hate me, Alijah! I really am sorry!

My entire being was a mess while Alijah continued to growl, as nothing I said was the correct answer.

“Fuck it.” He breathed, shifting his weight a bit.

I thought he would pull away from me and tell me to get lost, but much to my surprise, he licked his bloody fingers clean. The entire thing left me staring at him, stunned.

Huh?

After he cleaned them, he tugged my blouse off, exposing my bare chest fully, before taking his shirt off as well and dropping it on the side. I was frozen in place when he pushed into me when taking off his pants.

A yelp left my lips, triggering his eyes to find me. He pinned my head between his arms, preventing me from escaping his gaze, before lowering his body down enough for our bare skin to touch. His ears focused on me, and he traced his fingers down my cheek.

A warmth radiated through me as he leaned towards my ear.

All of this will never be mine. Please… don’t be gentle. Be ruthless, or my heart will never heal!

“Oh, Rem, I’ll ‘use’ you, but not as her replacement. You’re nothing like her.” Alijah whispered, tugging away from there and gazing at me head-on.

What do you mean by that? I… I don’t…

A second later, he went to kiss me, only to stop a few centimeters away from my lips. I prepared myself for what came next, but who was I kidding?

Nothing would prepare me for this wolf.

“You’re so much purer and weirder than she ever was. I can’t figure you out, Rem. Why go to this extent for me? Could it be that you love me?” He asked, not knowing how his question would leave me.

Ah… I… love you, Alijah, but that won’t… matter.

Even though I said nothing, his expression slowly softened, allowing a slight chuckle to leave him. I didn’t know how I appeared in his eyes or what expression I had made, but it was an answer to him.

“I see.” He cooed, closing the small gap between us as he claimed me.

His tongue invaded my mouth so gently compared to the previous kisses. Unlike his last plunge, he moved tenderly to stop me from hurting as much. All the time he used to scold me gave me the time to adjust to his size.

Thanks to that and my fast healing, it was slowly hurting less—something I didn’t look forward to. If it felt good, then I...

I...

Separating from my lips, he let me be free to face wherever I wanted as he brushed his lips down my jawline. Sure enough, my eyes locked onto the wall again as he made his way onto my breast. The first thing I felt was his palm squishing it like before as he kissed a trail down my neck onto my chest, where he suddenly licked my sensitive nobs.

A soft squeal left my lips as a smile formed on his lips before sucking them into his mouth. The sensation of saliva on my bosom left me feeling exhilarated as noises of pleasure escaped me, prompting me to cover my face.

Luckily, there was a pillow I could use as a shield as my breast were getting tender with each suck. His tail wagged slightly as he enjoyed trying to milk me, even though I had nothing to give. My chest wasn’t anything special, unlike Vera, who got her jugs from Aunty Amelia.

I was always so jealous of my sister’s looks. She was known as the icy beauty of Silver Fang Manor and had all the good genes. However, Alijah kept teasing them like they were his perfect plaything.

He was always rough and passionate in my dreams, but his movements were nothing like that. Even though he should’ve been feeling impatient with all the drugs coursing through his system, he was tender.

Too gentle! Are you being this way because it’s my first?

Even though I tried to keep quiet, the occasional mewl left my mouth as the pain dulled, giving way to more pleasure.

Gripping onto the pillow tightly, I bit into it as his thrust got a little deeper. Slowly, everything was changing, and a tingling sensation started to form in my core.

“Alijah,” I murmured, only for him to respond by tearing my shield away from my face.

His lips were on me a second later as a feverous kiss followed.

Ah… Am I still me in your eyes, or Lilith?

I had no way to know. However, his movements became steadily rougher with each passing minute. He wasn’t calling out to anyone other than the occasional moan that left his lips. However, his tail wrapped around mine while I felt off again.

Tugging away from my lips, he groaned into my ear, sending shivers down my entire being. It wasn’t long until I felt like I was in the air, feeling his thrust go deeper into me. The sensation building within me differed from my first climax.

“Alijah!” I mewled, feeling a knot tighten in my core.

Every shove and tug was making it worse, though when my name left his lips, my body clenched up again, triggering a moan to leave his mouth, too. Instinctively, he buried himself into me, leaving little space between us as his tip kissed my wound.

Holding himself in place, he ground himself into me, triggering every synapse in my brain to fire as it sent me over the edge. My entire body convulsed under him as his member exploded with me at the same time.

Suddenly, my voice wasn’t mine anymore as I squealed in pleasure under the wolf who made sure to keep no distance between our union. Gripping onto the sheets tightly, I felt my eyes roll back as my world wavered for a bit before I crashed into the world of the living.

My lungs couldn’t fill with enough air as my entire brain was muddled. Once my world finally fell into place, I noticed Alijah’s bright smile shining down on me.

“Did you almost pass out from climaxing so hard?” He smirked as any moment of his caused me to twitch.

“I… I… that was much more intense than I thought it would be.” I mumbled.

“Can you be any cuter, Rem?” He murmured, triggering my thoughts to snap into place.

Wait… Did I just say that out loud?!

Instantly, I retreated again and buried my face in the pillow nearby, prompting the wolf to chuckle.

What’s happening?! It was painful just a couple of minutes ago! Now… It’s… Did I fall asleep?!

I couldn’t handle what was happening. Alijah was still himself, fully aware of what he was doing.

“Don’t hide.” He huffed, starting to thrust into me again.

This was a request I couldn’t fulfill, as I quickly lost count of how many times we both found bliss. It wasn’t long before I lost the pillow I was using for covers, but I quickly found myself wrapped in the bed sheets for cover.

No matter how hard I tried to drown my mewls, Alijah would make me squeak to his pleasure. Our union dripped down my bum and into the sheets below us. My wolf stopped moving momentarily, making me think he was finished.

I was already somewhat numb from how much he had held me, but I soon found out that he wasn’t. Instead of tugging away, he spun me around before raising my hips to match his.

Ah! You can see everything!

Unable to help it, I buried myself in the bed below as his hands traced my bum before he rammed himself into me again. A yelp left my mouth as soft sighs left his. After a few thrusts, suddenly, a new feeling surged inside of me, which differed entirely from all the others.

“Alijah, wait!” I yelped, reaching to him with one of my hands.

Why do I feel like I have to pee?

It scared me as every push into me made it harder to keep in. Meeting my rogue hand with his, he shoved himself into me before leaning his chest onto my back and grinding himself into our union. The sudden affection caused me to mewl as he held the arm that had gone for him hostage.

“Hm? What’s the matter?” Alijah asked, brushing his lips against my nape.

Letting go of my hand, he clasp onto one of my breasts before using the other to rub my sensitive bell. Lycans always had high stamina for physical activity, and so did I, but this scared me.

“Alijah! Please!” I whined loudly, unable to control myself.

It was almost as if I was seeing doubles as he chuckled in response to my voice.

“Fuck, clamp harder on me, squeeze me dry, Rem.” He groaned as saliva dripped down my chin and into the bed.

Juices from our union trailed down my legs as my body trembled under him.

“I’m going to explode!” I squealed, barely holding back the desire to let everything go.

“Let go,” Alijah purred into my ear.

Huh? Is this something that usually happens? Vera’s friends said nothing like this! Or did they? I can’t remember!

“No... I—” I tried to fight it.

My resistance caused Alijah to tug me up to another feverous kiss before plunging himself into me again profoundly. If his lips weren't on me, I would’ve yelped. Slightly pulling away from my lips, he licked the corner of my mouth.

His fucking had turned animalistic and rough, like in my dreams. He no longer feared hurting me.

“Do it, or I’ll make you,” Alijah smirked, licking my lips again.

My body suddenly felt lighter as shivers ran down my spine when he brushed his lips down my jawline and into my nape.

“Alijah, I’m going to—” Before I could finish that, he suddenly bit down where he had been caressing.

The pain mixed with the pleasure, creating a different sensation to erupt within me. People who usually weren’t Lycans always thought they were rough during sex, but that was just how they were.

I could’ve forced this wolf to stop, but part of me didn’t want him to. No matter how embarrassing everything was. No matter how much it would hurt later, I was enjoying myself. Even though I couldn’t call this making love, Alijah was fucking me, and not Lilith, 1which that excited me this entire time.

I was the one who was being held in his arms—no one else.

Now… You’re trying to mark me! I can’t stop from—

That thought was caught short as my body reacted to Alijah in a way I never thought was possible. A loud mewl left my lips, losing myself within his touch. My voice squeaked when a weird liquid squirted out of me from where we were connected.

I felt so embarrassed, even though my mind was almost blank. My body convulsed in response to this new feeling, too.

No way… Did I just piss myself?

I usually had wet dreams, but nothing like this. However, I ended up soaking my wolf and the bed below me.

Tears rose again as I shook my head, “I-I t-told you!”

“Aw, don’t cry, Rem. You didn’t like it?” He cooed, wiping the tears away.

“I…” I trailed off, avoiding his gaze as he kissed the back of my head.

“Did it not feel good?” He asked, triggering me to shift my gaze towards him slightly.

“It did, but—” I stopped when I noticed how rosy his cheeks were.

“Ah, you’re embarrassed?” He cocked his head, triggering me to nod.

“It was nasty, no?” I mumbled, focusing on his expression.

Alijah’s lips curled upward as he leaned closer to me.

“No, it wasn’t. You were such a good girl for reacting like that to me. Now, should I reward you?” Alijah murmured into my ear, releasing me from his previous grip and allowing me to fall onto the bed.

“Reward?” I echoed as he smirked before grabbing my hips and plunging himself into my core.

Ripples of pleasure hit my body as my voice soon became erratic again. However, I quickly noticed how something within me was swelling, doubling in size.

Wait, are you going to knot me?!

This was something only Lycan males could do. They would usually do this when they wanted to impregnate their partners more successfully, and since I was half-wolf, I also had the organs that helped in the knotting process.

On instinct alone, my body clamped down on his heat. At that moment, my consciousness wavered as if it were too much, whiting my mind as my voice became otherworldly. The naughty wolf yanked me towards him, prompting me to sit on his lap as he held me close to his chest.

This knot allowed his twitching member to continue releasing his seed into my empty womb. I wasn’t fertile, though. He knew I wasn’t. Lycans could smell a sweet scent from their partners whenever they were, and I wasn’t.

Otherwise, he would’ve never done it. However, it was the warmest thing I had ever felt.

Ah… yet another thing I’ll never have again.

“Rem.” My name left Alijah’s lips, licking where he had bitten into me.

Female Lycans on the web always said that this was the best thing that could’ve happened to them during sex. Still, for any other race, it was usually a painful experience whenever their wolf lovers did this, as the knot had pushed Alijah’s heat onto the entrance of my womb, holding it in place.

This allowed him to dump his load into me steadily and consecutively. Letting himself fall onto the bed, he held my back close to his chest. A knot could last up to half an hour or more. The females on the web called it the blissful tie.

It seemed to be more than that for me. However, my wolf was fondling my breast and playing with my sensitive bell while we were together. All the while, he continued to overflow me with himself. I couldn’t count how many times I got off because of his stimulation, but eventually, I lost myself.

The next time I regained self-awareness, my eyes flew open to find myself in the same bed we had shared. My body felt fuzzy, and I couldn’t tell how much time had gone by again. It was like a storm was happening, and I was trying to sail through the chaotic waters with a raft.

How… did everything lead to this?!

Chapter Text

The passage of time escaped me.

How many days has it been? One, two? Argh…

I had no way of knowing unless someone filled me in. When I turned around in the bed, I saw Alijah watching me while I slept in his arms. I remembered everything that had happened, prompting my cheeks to burn.

How did everything escalate so quickly?!

Furthermore…

Wait… Did I wipe out in pleasure?!? By the gods, that felt… too good!

My cheeks went into full rebellion while the wolf softly gazed at me, noticing I was awake. Only a blanket was keeping our bodies from being exposed fully again. Though his arm was way comfier than any pillow I ever lay on.

“Hey, how’s your body?” Alijah broke the silence, reaching for me.

His fingertips softly brushed away some of the hair caught in my face. I somehow found myself somewhat speechless.

This scene… A gentle... I thought I would never see this other than in my dreams.

“I’m fine,” I whispered, shifting my gaze toward the sheets.

A chuckle left him as he touched my hair before petting me like a dog.

“Hey!” I growled, gazing towards him as I clasped onto his hand.

The action made me uncover most of my body, warming my cheeks. Even though I wanted to hide, his expression kept me glued to him.

Have you ever looked at me that tenderly before?

“There you are.” Alijah smiled, also somewhat exposed, thanks to my brisk movement.

Luckily, the blanket covered his bottom piece, which would give me a heart attack if I saw it. It was silly since it had already been in my deepest parts. My timidness arose again when the naughty wolf suddenly drew me into another kiss.

Unable to keep up, I tugged away, only for him to push me down onto the bed and lick my lips.

“I want to hold you again. Can I?” he suddenly asked.

This time, he trailed pecks down my neck and onto the upper part of my breast. Everywhere he touched felt like a blaze was about to be set again.

“Because of the drug?” I mumbled as my voice was shaking.

A soft whine left me when Alijah’s fingers quickly entered me.

You can barely hold back. It must be the drug.

The moment he licked my breast again, shivers ran down my spine. A small gasp left my lips upon feeling his digits caress my walls. Everywhere was so tender that I could barely think straight.

“I don’t know,” He answered, suckling on my little nobs.

His fingers made me want to lose myself in him. Holding in the whines, I tried to stay steady, but that would soon leave me.

This feels like a dream come true.

“If you’re okay with me,” I mumbled, prompting Alijah to stop what he was doing.

Before I knew it, he pinned my hands to my sides, kissing me deeply. His warm tongue invaded my mouth, leaving me squirming where I was. Unable to help it, I responded to his affection, triggering him to tug away with a vivid smile.

“I’ll always be okay with you, Rem,” Alijah reassured, pressing his lips against my forehead.

Ah… you don’t mean that. I know you don’t.

I pushed away any hope that may have brought.

This is too dangerous for me, but I can’t refuse you, and it has nothing to do with the drug. I… want this so bad.

The pleasure of everything I felt before was still present in me. Spreading me apart again, he towered over me, leaving my heart a fluttering mess. This time, he was entering me as Rem, not Lilith. I instinctively gazed away again, causing him to click his tongue.

“Rem, look at me,” he murmured in my ear.

Lightly, I shook my head, biting my head. I couldn’t forget if I did, but I was kidding myself.

I won’t forget this day, even if it’s the last time we do this.

A slight growl left his lips when I refused to comply. I closed my eyes, expecting him to go off at me, but…

“Do you think I’m dirty, Rem? Is that why you won’t look at me?” He questioned, voice shaking.

I couldn’t turn around fast enough. There was no way I would ever let him think that.

“No! You aren’t dirty!” I declared, suddenly embracing Alijah tightly.

“Okay,” He breathed, clasping to the back of my head and using the opportunity to enter me.

A low moan left his lips while a mewl erupted out of me while I slowly softened my embrace, forcing me to gaze at him like he wanted me to. Once my eyes were on him, a gentle smile arose on his lips before filling me to the brim.

Feeling him in me again, I felt sparks fly as my entire being was quivering in a new sensation. Thrusting into me once, he hovered his lips on top of mine, tempting me with a kiss. Unable to help it, I leaned towards him, only for him to suddenly gaze towards the door.

“Fuck, you decide to come now out of all times.” He growled, withdrawing away from me and throwing clothes. “Get dressed.”

“Okay,” I followed along.

Dazed, I struggled a bit to dress.

Was it always this difficult to get my legs to do something?

When I placed my feet on the ground next to the bed, I noticed the empty bottle on the floor. Hesitantly, I reached it as Alijah tried to hear what was happening.

My brothers again? Or Wyatt?

It quickly reminded me of what had gotten us into this situation—a drug. The entire thing had been swept away from me, thinking it might’ve been more.

Ah… I’m always so stupid.

Yet the warmth from having him fill me seconds before remained within me.

“Alijah... when you drank that liquid. What did it taste like?” I mumbled my question.

The wolf that stood by the door slowly turned to me, cocking his head.

“Huh? It was sweet as fuck. Worse than those treats you love stuffing me with.” He rolled his eyes, “I’ve never had anything like it before, but I know those effects like the back of my hand.”

His voice broke by the end as his body shivered.

Ah… this entire thing probably brought you bad memories. I’m sorry.

A soft sigh left me as I stuffed my finger down the bottle to taste the unknown substance.

This tastes just like the tea you gave me. Why?

“What do you think you are doing?” Alijah huffed, grabbing the bottle out of my hands.

“I…” I trailed off, unable to shake the feeling that was setting in my core.

Everything that elf did was suddenly turning more sinister, especially when he waited for my companion to leave before bringing it in.

You even feigned ignorance by bringing three cups instead of two.

Luckily, ever since the accident that took my life, witches’ potions or remedies didn’t affect me. Since they made Iris from wolfsbane with witchcraft, it also didn’t affect me. It probably had to do with the fact that a beast invaded my body when I died.

Every time it happened, I lost something or gained some weird perk. Perhaps I was imagining things. After all, the elf had been so lovely to me.

Was your whole story about your parents a lie, too?

“Are you crazy? Didn’t you see what that did to me?” Alijah growled, gripping the bottle tightly.

That was when I gazed at him, unaware of what expression I had on my face. His eyes widened as his eyes shimmered brightly.

“Rem, did he try anything?” He asked, sitting down next to me.

I tried to hide my emotions behind a smile, grabbing his hand. Mine trembled a bit, though.

Were Wyatt’s intentions for me to be like Alijah was going to get my bag? No… I don’t want to… think that.

The thought of another man touching me made my skin crawl.

“I guess when you left to find my bag. He tried to get me like… Well, you know.” My voice quivered as it was hard to face the wolf who had been a victim of the drug.

“But these things don’t affect me. So, no harm done there, I guess.” I sighed, shifting my eyes towards him to see a devilish smirk rise on his lips.

His eyes turned icy cold as all the tenderness from before vanished. There was no doubt that this wolf wanted nothing more than to end the elf who had once saved me. Whenever he was angry at me, he never made an expression like that.

Not even when we met did I see that reflected in him, and that was when he wanted to murder me the most. No, back then, all that I saw in his eyes was pain.

Oh… We should probably go.

When I went to stand up, I lost my balance, and Alijah caught me before I fell onto the floor.

“Be careful, you idiot,” he muttered, aura sipping out his body.

His hands on me felt gentle compared to his cold voice. Pulling me towards him, he clasped me against his chest, sighing.

“Rem, let me kill him.” He suddenly announced, catching me off guard.

“You want to what?” I asked like I hadn’t heard him right.

I couldn't believe what Alijah had said, but it wasn’t like it was out of character for him to want to murder anyone. However, it sounded more like he was angry because of what Wyatt had tried to do to me, which threw me off.

“Yep,” my wolf quickly answered without missing a beat.

“I... We don’t even know if he did that.” I struggled to defend the elf.

Even though I knew it wasn’t true, Wyatt had tried to drug me, and it looked like Alijah knew more than he let on. Nothing had happened, and that was enough to let him off the hook as no harm, no foul, but I never thought of all the people he had hurt before we came along or all the ones after we left.

Luckily, my wolf knew this was a pest needing extreme extermination.

“Rem, either you let me kill him, or I’ll do something worse,” He warned.

“Huh? What can be worse than murder?” I asked curiously.

A smirk rose on Alijah’s lips as he tugged me closer to him before shoving his hand down my pants while his other grabbed onto my tail. A low mewl left my lips, leaving me clinging to him when his fingers surged pleasure through me.

He wasn’t holding back on his teases as I held onto his shirt, making me jittery.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard that he’ll want to step in to save his little prize, and then I’ll severely hurt him in self-defense. Your choice, Rem. Either way, he loses something tonight. Will you?” Alijah growled, triggering my body to melt in his hands as his digits caressed every fold within me.

Gripping tightly onto his shirt, I couldn’t help but spread my legs a bit to give him better access.

“We should just go.” I tried to keep my voice steady, yet it was leaking.

A mewl left me as Alijah sighed, getting rougher and pinching my precious bell with his thumb and index finger. It caused me to yelp, biting into his shirt. The movement of his other digits made my legs feel weak again.

What do you mean by what I’ll lose? Will I lose anything other than my sanity that’s already wavy?

Pulling me away from his shirt, he kissed me lightly on my lips before trailing down to my neck.

“Please, don’t make me do this, Rem. I’m not joking.” Alijah whispered, laying his head on my shoulder.

My heart fluttered when I realized he didn’t want to do anything that could hurt me. Unable to stop, I hugged him, unable to shake off the hope his words produced in me.

Maybe... I have a chance. Can I steal his heart from Lilith? Is that even a possibility for me? No, impossible.

I had to squash that hope despite wanting it so badly.

Love me... please.

All I wanted to do was kiss him and make him mine, but that wasn’t what he wanted. Pushing down all those emotions, I gave in to what he truly desired.

“Okay... do whatever you want.” I breathed, leaning to land a kiss on his cheek.

Instead of meeting his skin, I met with his lips as he clasped my cheeks in his palms, deepening the kiss. It was short as he drew away from me in response, allowing me to regain some of my composure even though my core tingled.

Alijah licked his fingers clean before he chuckled. “Good girl,”

All I could do was gaze at him in a haze. My heart wasn’t responsive anymore. He pressed his lips against my forehead lightly before taking the bottle from my hands and stepping towards the door. To chase after him, I stumbled onto him, causing him to sigh and glare at me.

“What are you doing?” He huffed.

“Don’t leave me behind. It’s your fault I can barely walk!” I pouted, prompting him to cackle.

“Fine, stay behind me, though.” He held me by my waist for better support as I used the door frame to keep myself up.

Once the door opened, Wyatt emerged from the bathroom. He had been helping the village with the injured and destruction all this time, right after dumping my brothers somewhere in the town.

Yet, this man was no innocent bystander. No, he was…

Chapter Text

The moment Wyatt saw me, he smiled as I timidly hid behind Alijah, who locked eyes with the elf. That man’s expression wasn’t the same as it used to be, changing to something more sinister.

“Oh, it’s good to see you up,” the elf chuckled, finding my reaction to him cute, which annoyed my wolf, who took a step away from me and threw the bottle at Wyatt.

Wyatt’s demeanor quickly changed upon seeing as he glared at Alijah, who was unmoved.

“It’s not nice to go around people’s houses, especially those who saved the girl you care about.” He chided, triggering his eyes to become colder.

The atmosphere turned heavier when Alijah stepped toward him.

“Silly elf, I don’t care that you saved her,” He shook his head, eyes shimmering as he sized up his prey.

“You know, I watched you every time you treated her, and I just can’t seem to shake the way you touched her. It was so weird when you brushed her where she had no wounds. I wonder what you would’ve done if I agreed to stay outside.” He added, taking another step toward the elf.

What?

Shivers ran down my spine, thinking about what Alijah meant by that.

“I honestly wonder how I didn’t punch you, but then again, I don’t know what an ocean elf healer does. So, I let it slide. You were saving her, after all.” The wolf continued stopping in front of the elf before scowling.

Wyatt didn’t seem to be concerned about him. Then again, no one outside Cerberus knew about the crazed red moon lycan.

“But then you let us off without telling those Cerberus goons where we were at. That’s the first thing that made me wonder where your true intentions lay.” He paused for a moment to gaze at the bottle.

There was only a tiny gap between the two males. One the wolf could close in a second.

“Then I found that in your cabinet, and I realized friendly people don’t exist in this world, do they? Were you planning on slipping a drug on her? Was that what you were doing with those teas? You know, the ones I saw you brew before I left?” He berated the elf, who remained silent.

“Hm? Did I ruin your plan by leaving without knowing when I would return?” Alijah cocked his head, huffing.

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. That bottle was confiscated from a couple not too long ago. I’m sorry if you thought it was something else, but thank you for getting rid of it.” Wyatt tried to outsmart Alijah, but the elf was six thousand years late.

A weird laugh came from the wolf, who seemed amused by his explanation. He probably reminded him of all the people who passed him around like he was a toy.

“Really? Then why did you use it on her? Was it to make her appear sick so she would have to stay longer, or was it to have your way with her while I was out?” Alijah smirked, eyes shimmering brightly.

It… must be so similar to…

“How...” The elf stopped for a moment before shaking his head.

His eyes quickly found me as his eyes widened. “Impossible… There’s no way you would know that!”

Alijah’s demeanor changed drastically as his aura spilled out of his body.

“Ah… I didn’t know, but thanks for telling me. Oh, dear ‘healer’.” The wolf sneered, taking another step towards Wyatt, who slowly showed the cracks in the mask he had built.

How did I ever see you as someone nice?

People were terrifying things—something Alijah knew too well.

“Why don’t you just leave and take the half-breed with you? I only wanted a little fun, but Fenris’s daughter has one hell of a bodyguard.” Wyatt slipped, prompting me to realize he was worse than I thought.

You know... I’m… What?!

“So, you knew about me?” I mumbled, shivering where I stood.

My tone caused Alijah to glance back at me, but he quickly realized I wasn’t scared of the man who stood before me. He, who claimed to be a healer, disgusted me.

How many has this elf had ‘fun’ with before Alijah went along and drank his drug?

When my wolf took the bottle out of the cabinet, it was half full, which meant this man had probably dosed a bunch of strangers he had tried to help, just like he had attempted to do with me.

“From the moment I looked at you, I knew you differed from the typical luma. At first, I wanted to help you, but when I saw your skin. I just... It’s so fair and lovely I can’t help myself around pretty women.” Wyatt confessed, leaving me feeling like my skin crawled.

If Alijah hadn’t been there when he treated me, he probably would’ve done much worse while I was unconscious. A loud growl came from my wolf’s lips, turning his gaze back towards the elf.

“Everything you said to me was a lie?” I questioned Wyatt, stepping a few steps back from them.

He smirked, enjoying the distraught he caused in me.

If the drug would’ve worked on me, then I would’ve been... Before Alijah even touched me, I would’ve...

That thought revolted me in ways I never thought possible. I wanted no one other than my wolf to feel me, even going as far as to plan to live my entire life as a virgin if this had never happened. Before this adventure began, I had tried to fall out of love with my wolf, but it never worked.

Whenever things got too serious, I would always tear away from whoever was my partner. I couldn’t even bring myself to kiss anyone since it felt repulsive.

Alijah… is the only one I… Damn it…

“Aw… don’t hate me, Rem. After all, who wouldn’t want to touch a royal? At first, I thought your looks were cosmetic, but when those mutts came. I can’t help but want to embrace a celebrity like yourself.” Wyatt snickered, taking a few steps away from Alijah.

However, the crazed elf wasn't done losing it. It was like an animal backed onto a corner.

“Ah... Perhaps even put a child in your womb, but sadly, we aren’t a compatible race. I bet this Lycan can’t stop touching you, though.” Wyatt declared, rubbing me the wrong way.

For a moment, the wolf stopped shaking his head, “No, I—”

“You aren’t any different from me, are you?!” The elf questioned, triggering Alijah’s ears to flop downward.

He had held me for the first time; it had been anything but romantic. However, comparing himself to my wolf was unacceptable.

You are crazy and even sadistic, but you aren’t a rapist! You would never force yourself on someone, even though you tease it nonstop! I’m sure you would've stopped if I had given any signals of disliking it!

“Don’t you dare compare Alijah to you! He’s nothing like you! Wyatt, you’re disgusting filth and a waste of space in this world!” I snapped, growling soon after.

Alijah teased me to punish me for things I did, but he never touched me in that way before the drug was in his system.

Even when it was there, you wouldn’t penetrate me unless I told you it was okay. You’re nothing like him!

No, Wyatt was a different type of monster. In my eyes, he was worse than Alijah ever could be.

“Rem,” My wolf stared at me, awe of what had come from my mouth.

I defended him, even though he spent the last hours ravishing me in no way a virgin would dream. Noticing I wouldn’t budge from where I was to help him, Wyatt turned back to Alijah, trying to plead to his sadistic nature.

The moment the elf addressed the wolf, it snapped his gaze from me instantly.

“So, the luma is smitten by you. Shame, why not share her a bit? I bet it has been so nice to touch those—” Wyatt ranted, only to be interrupted by Alijah closing the gap.

The wolf clasped onto his face with his hands, with a smirk. At that moment, Wyatt noticed his eyes weren’t cosmetic, either. Everyone had heard of the monster Cerberus was trying to stop, but few knew what he looked like.

While all I felt was disgust with the type of person this elf was. Alijah raised him as his feet were no longer on the wooden floor below. Thoughts bombarded me while this played out in front of me.

What would Wyatt have done to me if I were a normal human? If I was Vera... He had said he would put a... Oh, by the gods...

A newfound fear struck me. No one had ever tried to do this to me before. Back in Silverant, everyone respected my boundaries, which meant I was naïve to this world. For a moment, I wanted to puke right where I stood.

Alijah snickered a bit, enjoying the expression of terror in the elf.

“Hey... I have a better idea than fucking her. You want to know what I love to do the most?” The wolf smirked at his prey.

His sadistic side was in full swing, reminding me of that night in the lake. If I hadn’t bonded with my wolf, what happened next would’ve probably been my fate. Wyatt, however, was frozen in place, realizing he had messed with the wrong people.

“It’s a weird fetish, but it gets me off every time.” Alijah teased the elf differently from what he ever did to me.

I could see Wyatt’s body tremble, but I couldn’t see the expression my wolf was making to have that type of reaction.

“You see, elf... what gets me off every time? It’s when I see the lights go out in the eyes. Will you show me that?” Alijah snickered, suddenly smashing Wyatt against the wall hard enough to create a crack in the thick wooden wall.

He could’ve quickly sent the elf flying through it if he wished. Thankfully, he didn’t want to create a scene in case my brothers were around, which meant he had some self-control. It also helped he wasn’t foolish to get himself in more trouble than it was worth.

“Ah... Are you still there, little healer?” My wolf smirked as weird, muffled sounds came from Wyatt, still hanging on.

He was enjoying torturing the elf. All I cared about was Vera, who was still in Silverant.

Have you ever come across anything like this?

Unlike me, she was more desirable and vulnerable to these tricks, which left me feeling sick. The world was nothing like I thought it would be. Evil was everywhere—nothing like what I had seen in Silverant.

How will I ever show Alijah that the world changed if we keep running into people like this?

I had to be more careful and less naïve. Alijah snapped me out of that train of thought when he slowly choked the life out of Wyatt with a smirk on his lips. This was a side to him I hadn’t seen, yet it didn’t scare me.

No, instead, it left me in awe. Back in the cave, he had left Loren to die from the wounds I had inflicted, but this time, he was determined to make the elf suffer for what he could’ve done to me, and that made my heart flutter.

Alijah could’ve crushed Wyatt’s throat with ease but let him suffer. Ensuring tears ran down the elf’s cheeks as he gasped for breath. Eventually, he stopped struggling as the color drained the color from his face.

At that point, the wolf let go of the elf’s limp body before turning to me. His eyes were bright red as he appeared to have lost himself again. Before I knew it, my wolf pinned me against the wall. The moment his lips brushed against my neck, I knew the drug was still in his system.

This entire time, he was fighting it off. Though killing Wyatt set him off again. His hands traveled onto my bum, squeezing them tenderly. This wolf could shift between them from murderous to loving at lightning speed.

“Rem, I…” Alijah mumbled my name, unable to say anything too coherent.

I responded by tugging him into a kiss, giving him all the permission he needed. Dropping my pants, he unbuckled his before picking me up and placing my legs on his waist. Separating from the kiss, he trailed up my cheek, stopping by my ears.

“Help me,” My wolf murmured, setting my heart into another marathon.

For a moment, I hesitated to do so since I knew what he meant by that. His hands were busy holding me up, so he needed help aligning himself with me. Even though I had tried not to look at him there all this time, I had to glance down to guide him to my entrance.

When I saw his hardened member, my heart wished to leave my chest. Jittery, I slowly reached down to it. The moment my skin touched his heat, it twitched.

I…. I… want more.

“Hurry, Rem,” Alijah purred, gripping my bum tighter.

Trying to focus since I was the only one with a rational mind, I guided him towards my entrance as a soft whine left my lips when he rubbed against every nook and cranny on my vulva. Everything there was moist and slippery, thanks to everything we did.

It wasn’t long before I felt the head gently pressing into my walls. Once in the right place, he shoved himself into me with brief hesitation. His movements were rougher than before, triggering mewls and whines to leave both our mouths.

However, I couldn’t help but gaze at the freshly dead body in the room. People would probably think we were crazy, and we were. After all, we were fucking like this after someone had died. Well, at least I had to be irrational to love Alijah as much as I did.

To be doing this, even though he killed someone in front of me. I couldn’t help but feel warmth and pleasure from the same hands that probably ended many lives. Probably innocent lives, too, yet all I cared about was him.

He was calling for my name now, and I couldn’t help but feel ecstatic about it.

“More, Alijah.” I mewled as his plunges became animalistic.

A dangerous thought was coming into my mind when I tore my eyes away from Wyatt and onto Alijah. I reached for my wolf’s face as his lips met my hand. There, I yanked him into another, more passionate kiss.

We had crossed a line that I thought was so solid before, yet there I was in his arms as he fucked me silly. Although, I didn’t know if it was love or just pleasure for him. Either way, I was in his embrace and didn’t want to let go.

Chapter Text

By the time Alijah had his fill of me, I was entirely numb, panting for air. Somehow, my consciousness had kept up with the wolf, who also held me out of breath. My mind was jumbled, making it hard to form any words.

My body was no longer mine as it twitched at the slightest touch from him. He appeared to be worn out when he suddenly tumbled down with me on him. Luckily, he landed sitting down behind the couch in the living room.

A slight chuckle left him when we found ourselves still connected. The smile that arose on his lips triggered my heart to throb.

None of this is fair.

I had taken a bite of forbidden fruit. Even though my body was exhausted and had done things I thought I could never do, I desired more, but the drug was probably out of his system.

You’d never touch me like that again. I need to control myself. This… was nothing more than a treatment.

It took everything within me to fight the urge to kiss Alijah, trying to fight the haze that my mind had become.

This probably meant nothing to you. Well, not like what it meant to me, at least. Argh… Why do I torture myself with this desire for something that I’ll never have again? Why don’t you make me cry in pain rather than in pleasure?

No, I’m also at fault. I should’ve run away when I had the chance.

Wanting to get off Alijah, I tried to stand up, only for my legs to fail me, sending me down onto him again. A whine left our lips when I fell back onto him, triggering him to fill me to the brim. He chuckled again, causing my cheeks to turn bright pink.

Hearing him enjoy what had happened, I felt nothing more than pure embarrassment. Instead of letting me run as I wanted, he grabbed onto my hips, holding me in place.

"If... you’re going to do that, then how about you move properly," Alijah smirked.

In response, I growled at him, shaking my head. Though all it did was make his grip on me tighten.

Your expression isn’t fair.

He was having fun and enjoying himself, even though he had been drugged. Well, he did it to himself without really wanting to.

Doesn’t it bring you any terrible memories?

His gaze…

Please... don’t look at me that way... I’ll get the wrong idea.

If that were to happen, well, I wouldn’t be able to let go.

"I wanted to get off you." I pouted a bit, trying to hide everything I was feeling.

Alijah licked my lips, prompting me to tense up and triggering him to whine upon feeling my walls clamp down on his heat.

“Fuck, you’re…” He trailed off, thrusting into me again.

I held onto him for dear life when mewls erupted from me.

Everything’s so unfair. I can’t… yank myself away.

Though pleasure soon radiated through me again. Before I knew it, he stole my lips, allowing a feverous kiss to follow—one I fully indulged in. The warmth of his tongue on mine made me tremble.  After several more moments of cossetting himself with me, he pulled away from me as a thin saliva string connected us.

Oh, how I want to yank you back into me.

"Fuck... Sorry... You wanted to stop, right?" Alijah sighed, slightly tugging away from me so his head popped out.

I saw everything he had to offer the moment he did, and it almost killed me. He didn’t let me have a heart attack, though. No, he tugged me into his chest, wrapping his tail around my waist.

"Stay here with me for a bit," Alijah whispered, holding me, showing nothing of his hostility towards Wyatt.

Unable to help it, I rested on my gentle wolf's chest for a few seconds, trying to catch my breath, but it quickly turned into something else when I stole a peek at him. He was pale and somewhat out of it, which worried me.

When was the last time we ate? Damn it, you haven’t even slept this whole time, have you?

I slowly reached to touch his cheeks, only for Alijah to grab onto my hand, kissing it lightly. The dark circles under his eyes were so prevalent that I couldn’t stay still. Even though we were both exhausted, I had to find some energy to replenish ourselves.

Even though he had let it known he desired me to stay with him, I pushed myself away. I had the most energy out of the two of us. Going past my limit, I struggled to grab my pants and put them on.

The poor wolf sat there with the worst hangover he had felt in thousands of years. However, that didn’t stop his snarky comments.

"I thought you were the type to cuddle after, not run," Alijah complained, making me want to throw the first thing I held at him.

The nerve of this wolf!

If he didn’t look like he was about to die, I probably would’ve thrown something at him, but that didn’t mean I would stay quiet.

"You look like you’re dying! Who would cuddle with a corpse?!" I growled, stomping away towards the kitchen.

My wolf nervously chuckled, “Right.”

He wasn’t okay, even though I had given him an outlet with my body. Urgently, he needed something in his system to fight off what was left. Walking past the real cadaver in the room, I opened the fridge, grabbing the jug of water and ham.

With everything at hand, I slowly returned to my wolf with my shaky legs. Luckily, I made it in one piece and with everything at hand. He almost chugged the water in one go before biting the ham.

Unlike the meat I had gotten him, I preferred some crackers. My appetite wasn’t the best, especially after everything that had happened. While he ate, I pondered our situation, thinking about our next move. We couldn’t leave this house like this for everyone to find, particularly everything that happened in that room.

I couldn’t help but gaze at it as it made my heart flutter.

How can I ever face Alijah with a straight face again? If only I could forget about the feelings that are rushing through me. I feel so warm.

Shaking my head, I bit my lip.

Damn it, I have to focus on what we need to do so we can keep going.

Fortunately, it was night, making our getaway easier. After finishing the crackers, I closed my eyes, sitting next to my wolf.

Is there any way to get rid of everything we did?

However, my wolf had other plans when he suddenly pulled me closer to him after eating what I had brought him.

"How are you feeling?" Alijah asked as my gaze shifted towards him.

Some color had returned to him, although his dark eyes were still prevalent. It was hard to hide the embarrassment from everything that flashed into my mind when he asked. Instinctively, I darted my gaze towards the floor.

"I’m fine," I mumbled.

A soft hum came from him before he suddenly yanked me onto him. I found myself between his legs and back, resting against his chest.

This brought back memories of...

"I’m sorry for doing all that to you." He apologized, triggering a gut-wrenching feeling in my stomach.

Even though he held me so tightly and warmly, it hurt to hear him say that.

Would you have apologized to Lilith, too? I doubt it.

He probably regretted holding me altogether.

Was I that bad? Or is it something else? Are my insecurities making me paranoid? Probably. Don’t think too deeply. This wolf is probably scared you’ll retaliate with an order.

"You don’t have to ask for forgiveness, Alijah-tan." I tried to stay calm, attempting to be my usual self.

That’s what normal Rem would’ve said, right? Right?

In my chest, though, there was a hole that wouldn’t be plugged up soon. This had to be divine punishment for something. My love for him was hard to contain.

"Rem..." He mumbled.

I shook my head, trying to shake the tone of voice he used. It was almost as if my reply surprised him. Even though I didn’t want to, I turned to face him.

I can’t let you get the wrong idea. You’re nothing like that elf or like the people who raped you.

If anything, I had taken advantage of the whole situation.

Yes… This is all me.

The elves outside were still burning incense throughout the night. Any wind would blow them into the house. It almost smelled like a flower field. While I was in Alijah’s arms, it didn’t bother me. However, I could tell why Caden and Aiden were struggling.

Even Alijah’s nose should’ve been bothered by it.

"It’s not... like I disliked it. Unless you..." I struggled to say.

My heart was beating erratically as a knot formed in my throat. I didn’t know where I was going with this, yet I knew I couldn’t let him think I didn’t enjoy my time with him. My words caused Alijah's cheeks to turn pink, prompting my gaze to shoot back onto the floor.

I was going to misunderstand him.

Hey... can I tell you... that I love you? Surely, it’ll only bother you to know, right?

"Oi... you really are stupid, aren't you?" Alijah sighed with a playful smile on his lips.

He cupped my cheeks into his hands and ensured I was facing him. His gentle eyes left me wishing to kiss him again.

"I..." he struggled to find the right words.

It had been years since he had anything other than a curse to say to someone.

"Look, I’m not good with words, Rem. Sadly, that was taken from me a long time ago. So, don’t get me wrong when I say you’ve been a first for me. Holding you felt so right that I couldn’t control myself." The flustered wolf stopped momentarily, laying his head on my bosom.

Huh? What’s…

Instinctively, I hugged him.

Hey, Alijah, could I please have a piece of your heart? Even a small part would be enough.

"I did so many things to you. Are you sure you won’t regret it? What we did isn’t what a girl looks for the first time." He sighed.

Unable to stop, I petted his hair, enjoying that he allowed me to do what I pleased. I could even smother his ears.

They’re so fluffy. I had always thought you’d bite me if I tried.

"I’m fine with everything we did, Alijah," I answered.

Only because it’s you. Though, I probably sound like a slut for saying that.

It didn’t matter how I sounded. This wolf knew I had never been with anyone else. The euphoria rushing through me left me wondering if it was okay to be in this much bliss. However, having this hope swelling within my heart was dangerous.

This has all been a wish come true. I want no one else to touch me that way. Even less to do all those embarrassing things you stimulated my body to enact. That had never happened in all the dreams I had with you before.

I wouldn't have minded if Alijah wanted to do them all over again, but I couldn’t get ahead of myself. It wasn’t like he told me he loved me.

Even if you did, would it last when you saw Lilith again?

Chapter Text

There was no doubt I had taken a bite of a forbidden fruit.

A dream come true… if you were anything else, I would’ve been able to let go.

"You answer nothing like a normal girl would, huh? Where are my slaps or punches? Sometimes, you’re too much to handle, you know?" Alijah chuckled, pulling away from my chest to show the biggest smirk planted on his face.

Those crimson red eyes, your figure... Everything that makes you... wonderful.

I reached for his cheeks, slowly tracing my fingers down his dark circles.

"I’ve been told that." I simpered, pulling myself up to kiss Alijah on his forehead.

By the gods, I love you.

Murderous and all, I loved everything about him.

Maybe I can hope... No, that’s an error... I’m no match for your true love. I’m just an interloper in this. Yet... I don’t want to let go of you.

My feelings were overflowing again.

"Oi... That’s not fair play. If you’re going to kiss me, then do it properly." Alijah pouted with a low growl, tugging me to clash with his lips.

After everything we did, without hesitation, I responded with the full force of my affection. We had kissed when we were connected many times, but this one was sweeter. Our tongues intertwined together, leaving me to enjoy him.

Drawing away from me, he gave me a moment to breathe before doing it again. When we separated again, he licked his lips, enjoying my taste in him. It tempted me so badly that I almost lost my reason.

Don’t... misunderstand, Rem. This wolf... has someone else in his heart. This is just child's play for him.

Alijah went to kiss me again, only for me to stop him, but not because I didn’t want to. We needed to go before the sun came up, which would be at any moment.

"We should go," I mumbled, holding my hand towards his lips.

He clicked his tongue, tugging away from me. “Right.”

We struggled to get off the floor, but once up, we rummaged around the house for useful supplies.

Wyatt doesn’t need them anymore.

I picked up my bag and stuffed it with anything helpful I found. Much to my surprise, my headphones and player were in it. Alijah had picked them up in all that chaos with the demon without knowing how important they were to me.

Though they had become irrelevant while he was around, I would undoubtedly need them again, as the ghosts would flood me when he left.

Another thing… No! Grow up, Rem!

I was looking for anything useful in the kitchen when my wolf suddenly grabbed me by my tail, startling me. Huffing, I glared at him, triggering him to chuckle. Though I think he was enjoying the scare, he had given me more.

"You should shower," Alijah announced, glancing down at my tail that was bloody from...

Oh...

My cheeks felt like they were burning, tugging away my blood-stained silver tail from his hands.

"No, I’ll wash it later in a river or something. Let’s leave here already." I mumbled, trying to hide the embarrassment that was once again showing.

Alijah sighed, turning around and heading for the door.

"Just don’t talk to anyone," he warned, picking up his bag.

I grumbled, grabbing all the stuff I found to hide all the actions that occurred in this house. This was to make sure no one could discover all the embarrassing things that happened. I couldn’t care less that Wyatt was dead.

However, everything else...

Those... need to stay a secret forever!

"I won’t be speaking to anyone. After all, I’m about to commit another crime." I smirked, triggering Alijah to turn to me.

"What are you going to do?" he questioned, scrunching his eyes.

Instead of answering him right away, I spilled all the alcohol I found in the living room. With a little accelerant, this wooden house would surely burn, and alcohol was very flammable.

"I’m going to set this house on fire," I informed the wolf.

“What?! Isn’t that going to attract more attention?” He huffed, shaking his head.

After all, it would bring complications. If my brothers were still in town, they would surely see it, but I also knew it would be inevitable for them to find this house again after we left. Wyatt was a dead healer, and someone would surely come looking for him.

A soft sigh left my lips as I turned to him, taking out a matchbox I found on one shelf. The elf had many valuable things to use in this endeavor.

"I kind of don't care," I smirked, shaking the box.

Alijah growled loudly, "Oi, you aren't the one running!"

His brows were crunched up, and his eyes were twitching, too.

This is a necessary sacrifice!

"I can’t let anyone know all that happened here," I sighed, returning to my goal.

There was no use in trying to explain it to him. After all, it was silly. My wolf grabbed my hand, prompting my gaze to land on him.

"I thought you were fine with it," Alijah whispered, voice shaking.

No, I… This isn’t about you!

I couldn’t turn around quicker, though.

"I’m fine with what we did! Caden or Aiden can’t find that. I’ll die, Alijah. Like I’ll really die if they see that!" I blurted out, clasping his shirt as my life depended on it.

My sudden outburst caused him to bite his lip before sighing.

"Okay, okay. I get it. Hopefully, I won’t croak on the run to wherever we’re going." He complained, rolling his eyes.

Even though we had just crossed a line, we were still normal, and it made me happier than it probably should’ve. Turning to my masterpiece, I opened the box, pulling out a match. There, I finally answered his complaint.

"You’ll be fine, Alijah-tan. You’ve had worse, no?" I sassed.

Surely, this wolf had plenty of sleepless nights while on his rampage. That was when he suddenly grabbed me by my waist, tilting my head upward to meet his lips. His tongue invaded my mouth, swiftly taking the box away from me as he did so.

"Stop calling me that, and yes, I’ve had worse. It doesn’t mean I won’t bitch about it." Alijah growled, pulling away from me.

Luckily, I had other things in mind other than to allow myself to fall into a haze. However, it was hard after he kissed me like that. Instinctively, I twirled around, trying to reach for the box as he held it out of my reach.

Ah... Did I piss you off? Why are you so tall? Stupid Lycan genes!

"I meant your rampaging days!" I squealed, trying to get him to give me the box.

Alijah shrugged, "I don't care what you were referring to. I just want to make you beg for something." He teased, smirking.

Punishment for what I had said, leaving me to grab onto him by his shirt, pulling him down slightly. There were many things I wanted to beg him for. To give me that box, to move on from his past, to love me, but I wouldn’t.

No, I only wanted his happiness.

Fuck it. If what we did is discovered, then so be it. I’ll live with it.

"Do what you want," I mumbled, smothering my face against Alijah's chest.

He grumbled something, suddenly lighting the match with ease. Even though it was something new to him, it wasn’t hard to figure out. Much to my surprise, he drew me into another kiss before throwing the match into the alcohol.

In an instant, the floor caught fire as Alijah jerked away from me, tugging me outside of the house, where he shifted into his beast form. With no hesitation, I climbed on him before he bolted through the roads.

Luckily, no one was out since the sun had not yet set. Those who were out were by the memorials of the people lost. It didn’t matter, though, as the fire would surely wake them once it got out of control.

After leaving the village, Alijah ran for what felt like hours. Even though he had fought the beast and was exhausted, his recovery time was probably the fastest I had ever seen. Compared to Dad and my brothers, this wolf was on another level.

Sometimes, after going all out, my dad and siblings needed a whole day to rest, yet Alijah hadn’t slept. He ran just as fast as he had before, even though exhausted. However, to me, he was also much more than that.

Even though he should’ve been a terrifying being, I couldn’t see him that way. Even when he killed someone in front of me, enjoying it so much that he wanted to fuck right after. None of it scared me.

His caress made me feel warm and blissful, and even the feel of his fur while I clung to him gave me peace. Sadly, none of this would’ve mattered once Lilith entered Alijah's life again.

If only she remained dead... Then I... No, I can’t allow myself to think like that. The name you first called out to in your delirium was hers, not mine. She’s alive in your heart. No matter what, she’ll always be your love!

Sadly, he called for mine only after he was back in his somewhat sound mind. I couldn’t let myself be swayed by anything that had happened. He could’ve been doing this to control me for his means and probably knew how I felt about him, even though I hadn’t placed it into words.

I mean, you even asked me straight up, too. Damn it… I think I failed at all of this.

Somehow, I had to be stronger to remain on top and protect my family from everything. I couldn’t allow him to play me like a musical instrument, even though I wanted it so much. When we stopped running, the sun had risen to the middle of the sky.

We had stopped far away from villages in the middle of a forest where a lake loomed nearby.

Chapter Text

We picked up camp in the lake's bay. I didn’t know where we were, but surely we were far enough from Caden and Aiden. The only reason they tracked us there was the light I had given off, leaving them a homing beacon to follow.

Alijah lay down, huffing for air, as I quickly got off him. Scavenging through my bag for our water to give him, I felt him shift back into his humanoid form before turning toward him. Finally, finding the damn bottle, I handed it to him.

Once he gulped it down, I headed to pick up things to make a small fire. Once I turned back towards my wolf, I noticed he was already lights out after drinking the water.

Oi… You didn’t even take off your bag.

I wanted to sleep, too, but I was reluctant to go down. Without his warm fur, I needed a heat source to not suffer too much through the night. It was easy to collect all the things for the fire. Thankfully, the matches also helped in setting it.

After an intense blaze had taken hold, I turned to help Alijah out of his bag. I set a small cloth to be his pillow while he rested. His sleeping face seemed so peaceful that I couldn’t hold myself back.

Before I knew it, I kissed him on his cheek. When I noticed what I had done, I quickly withdrew from him.

Damn it! I’m acting like I’m your lover!

My cheeks burned hot, feeling conflicted by everything that had happened.

Though… none of this is your fault. I can’t blame you for anything. You didn’t make me fall for You. That was all me, and I hated picking a man who wouldn’t choose me.

My heart stung, yet I continued to make our camp. By the time I was done, the sun had gone and given rise to the moon. We brought food from Wyatt's house in Alijah's bag, ensuring he wouldn’t have to hunt tonight.

Turning towards the lake, I sat by the edge of the water. Even though everything had exhausted me, I couldn’t sleep. Everything that had happened was so surreal that I couldn’t believe it. In the lake's distance, I saw a few orbs flying around the water's surface, away from Alijah and me.

It brought me back to the first day I met him. What I felt for him that night was what Dad said. He knew she was his world when he pulled her out of that alley when they were kids.

Soul mates… You are my soul mate, but…

Aches rose on my chest as I winced, knowing this meant I would always love him. However, even if my wolf were mine, it didn’t mean I was his. Aunty Amelia had a soulmate once, but their marriage failed when her husband cheated on her.

Being soulmates doesn’t mean we will be endgame, though.

Sometimes, it meant one side got stuck while the other continued with their lives. After that, Amelia never wanted to find love again, preferring to stay alone and surrounded by her family.

Will that be how I feel after Alijah reunites with Lilith? I don’t want that!

At least Aunty wasn’t alone; she had us.

Will that be my fate, too? Alone in one aspect but rich in another? No... I…

She had always said. “It’s better to be alone than in poor company.”

Is that true? But I don’t want to be without him. Is this how you first felt, Aunty? It’s miserable.

My heart throbbed as I sat there for a couple of hours, tormented by everything. I couldn't sleep or think straight. Eventually, trying to forget about everything, I dipped my feet into the water, hoping to feel some relief.

My mouth dropped when I saw it light up yellowish-green.

Wait, this is…

I couldn’t believe what we had randomly stumbled upon. For a moment, all my worries washed away as I rushed to Alijah, softly waking him up. He had been asleep for a few hours but would’ve missed the bioluminescent lake if he hadn't been up in time.

These things could only be found in Azear. They were wondrous and, of course, water-related, much like the ocean elves. The only reasons people would visit these lands were the food, the lakes, and the beaches.

Though we were far from any shoreline, it was better that way—fewer tourists to worry about. When he arose from his sleep, he grumbled, wiping his eyes. Once he was up, I dropped water on the fire to quench it.

It wasn’t as cold as I thought, and any light source other than the moon would ruin the experience. Even though the wolf was dead tired, I helped him up, leading him towards the water's edge. I couldn’t help but hum in excitement as these lakes were a rare find.

There were only five in the entire nation, and the most popular ones were the ones near the beaches. This one seemed isolated, so I wanted to avoid wasting this opportunity. After all, I always wanted to see one in person rather than behind the screen of my phone.

I never thought I would miss that piece of junk, yet I wished I had it with me to take a picture of this moment. Yawning, Alijah sat down where I took him, allowing me to return to grab him something to eat.

The starry night seemed so beautiful, too.

Everything’s so perfect, if only we were romantically involved.

Shaking that thought aside, I handed a jerky bag and water to Alijah, who ate quietly. I also ate beside him, wishing to close the gap between us. Most of the time, he stared up toward the sky while I stole glances at him instead.

My heart would die on this journey, but at least my wolf would be happy.

After eating, he glanced at me and asked, “So, will you tell me why you woke me up?”

By now, our eyes adjusted to the night. So… This should be good.

Taking the chance, I acted, suddenly standing up before I took off my clothes. I shook my embarrassment away, too. After all, he had seen everything I had to offer already.

"What are you doing?" Alijah questioned, trailing his eyes down my body as I peeled off every cloth I had on before throwing it to the side.

It wasn’t like my body ever made him react to me willingly.

"You wanted me to shower, right, Alijah-tan?" I smirked, trying to tease him a bit.

He tilted his head, “What? That’s not a reason to wake me up.”

Failure…

Even though my playful moment crashed, I wondered if he had ever seen one of these types of lakes before. I started this journey with him to help him see how beautiful the world was.

There has to be something other than jerks and asses in it.

I would have to put aside all my emotions, doubts, and pains. My goal was to make Alijah happy.

At least while you’re with me, I want to own your smile.

Once all my clothes were off, I slowly made my way into the water, lighting up all the way. The water was warm, too. What was more fun was that I appeared to be a fairy, and it lit up from any slight movement I made.

Once he saw it, his eyes opened wide as he stood up from where he was.

"How are you doing that?" Alijah asked curiously.

"It’s magic." I teased, unable to help myself.

Though, I felt horrible when I saw him genuinely amazed by it. It was almost as if he had seen nothing so beautiful before in his crimson gaze. He had said most of his freed life was dictated by the elders, while in the other two, he was free. He spent them with Lilith in moon elf territory.

So perhaps I hit the jackpot with this one!

It surely seemed like it because his expression was one I would die for.

Ah, I wish I could take a picture of it and frame it in my room when you’re gone. Bare it, Rem. Memorize everything so you can relive it in your dreams.

"Really?" Alijah appeared like a small child.

His tail slowly wagged side by side. I couldn’t help but feel utterly guilty for deceiving him, though I was enjoying it. His adorable side was one I wanted to flourish.

"No," I giggled, triggering him to narrow his eyes and frown.

I couldn’t help but laugh, enjoying that expression, too. Unable to help myself, I got closer to the shore, grabbing his hand and smiling.

"Come join me. It’s little organisms that live here. They’re magical little things to create this. Although it’s science rather than magic, I wasn’t lying too much about it." I clarified.

He tilted his head, unsure if he should believe me this time.

"I’ve seen nothing like this," Alijah mumbled.

I gently pulled on his hand, encouraging him to join me in the water. It was far from cold. However, I was embarrassed that he was seeing all of me again—something I would try to drown.

All that matters is you; I’m secondary in all of this.

After all, he had given me more than I ever thought I would have.

The kisses, the fucking... All of it is enough to last me a lifetime.

Every part of me that he touched still felt warm.

"Then come see how it feels on your skin!" I invited the little hesitant wolf again.

My words caused him to smirk. He took it differently from what I meant. Instantly, he tugged away from me to take off his clothes. I couldn’t help but turn away before I saw too much.

Come to think of it, I haven’t looked down on my body since Alijah took off my stitches.

I welcomed any distraction. After all, I was also curious to see if any scars were left. Under the moonlight, I inspected myself to see if I could notice if they had left anything, but instead of finding that, I saw tiny marks on my body, especially around my breast.

My cheeks flushed red, remembering Alijah biting me.

Did you do that so my body would slow down in healing again? Why would you want these little contusions to stay on me? What a jerk... doing these things even though I... can never do the same to you.

He wasn't mine to mark, even if my bite would cause the same effects. A sting pulsed through me while I tried not to let the pain make the wrong choices for me.

"What’s the matter, Rem? Did you just notice them?" Alijah purred into my ear, unaware of my train of thought.

A yelp left my lips when he grabbed me from behind, holding one of my hands up. The other traveled down my curve, landing on my abdomen. He was teasing me again, that much I knew, but the warmth his hands left on me was too genuine to ignore.

My heart couldn’t handle him, making my body shiver at his touch.

Ah… You hold more than just my heart.

He owned everything I had to give; it was his, even if he didn’t want it.

"You jerk," I grumbled, not wanting to pull away from his touch.

Though I feared being consumed by it—no, I wanted to be consumed by him.

If only she would remain dead. Wouldn't that be just lovely? You would be mine to claim.

That thought left me feeling hollow.

Ah… Caden, you were right about me.

There was a darkness in me, growing with nothing to stop it.

To what extent am I willing to go for you?

"Am I?" Alijah chuckled, holding me close to his chest.

He threw himself into the water, causing ripples everywhere. The way his body and mine shone in the water was beautiful. My back was on his chest while he held me close. This wasn’t fair at all.

I feel like I want to kill Lilith to keep you.

This was something I had to bury down at all costs. I had to drown it before it found and destroyed her.

"Yes," I mumbled, trying to hold myself.

I had created this situation. If I had just left Alijah to sleep, perhaps I would’ve been able to prepare myself. Yet I wanted to show him this beauty. I desired him to smile, and he did, although he was also teasing me.

"Why? I think I’m being really gentle with you." He licked where he had bitten me the day before.

The warmth of his tongue left me was dazzling.

Why can't I enjoy the moment? Just don’t think of the future until it comes! Is it because I know I’ll have to give it up?

I turned to face him only to freeze once I saw his beautiful crimson eyes shimmering in the night. However, the starry sky above him outshone them any day. He had set his hair loose before getting into the lake, too.

While I was in awe of the wolf before me, he held me by my waist with one hand. The other found its way to my cheek. I almost choked on what I was about to answer him with.

Why are you looking at me like I’m precious to you? Why were those eyes so full of rage and pain before and now full of bliss?

My mind was blank, and I…

Chapter Text

Alijah appeared beaming, and I had made him like that. My heart throbbed, racing faster with each passing moment. Seeing him like this made me realize how beautiful he was. Mom was right when she said he was the second prettiest Lycan she had ever seen.

Dad being the first, of course. Though to me, he was nothing more than an old wolf compared to Alijah. However, I couldn’t deny that Dad had his moments. After all, I was closest to him and my brothers out of everyone in my family.

Ah... Alijah has a beauty mark right under his right eye. One that I hadn’t noticed before. Hey... I want your heart, your soul, your everything. I... wish to claim you for myself. Can I?

But... my happiness didn’t matter. I wanted to heal him. That was all that mattered.

"Because..." I stopped.

The words I wanted to say flowed into my mind.

Because I love you, Alijah, but you’re never meant to be mine. Because the moment she comes back, no matter what form, you’ll embrace her. At the same time, I’ll have to let go for you to be happy. Because I love you so much that it makes me want to murder everyone who would dare hurt you, even myself.

I would kill myself if it made you happy. Did you know that? It probably should’ve been on that first day, huh? But if I died, then you would’ve probably been hurt or worse. Because I want to be in your world—something I can never have because someone else is already there.

By the gods, I love you.

"Because?" Alijah traced my lips with his thumb.

I love you!

I simpered in return, unable to answer what I started. I should’ve, but if I did, it would solidify my love for him in a way I couldn’t control. So, instead, I turned it into something.

"Because I probably could never mark you as you did to me, Alijah-tan." I tried to make it more superficial than it was.

Alijah chuckled, pressing his forehead against mine. This was too warm.

Please... be the usual grump... Tell me to screw off somewhere else.

"Hah, you want to try?" He suddenly proposed, prompting my jaw to drop.

You’d let me do that? Isn’t it something Lilith can only do? Although... come to think of it, he probably had many Lycan girls do that to you during captivity. Mira was the name of one of them, right?

The one who marked him so severely, she used men to steal away every ounce of good that was in him. That was probably his most recent sex-related experience in all those years he was trapped.

I... want to wash it away. No! Control, Rem... Control yourself!

"No, I couldn’t possibly..." I trailed off, tugging away from him.

Alijah didn’t let me get far, though. Suddenly, he shoved his thumb into my mouth, inspecting my fangs. They weren’t as sharp as a normal Lycan, but they could deal some damage.

"Try it, Rem. Bite me." He smirked, cheeks rosy.

I shifted my gaze towards the side, shaking my head. "There’s no point. You’ll heal, and I don’t want to hurt you."

He sighed, grabbing the back of my head and pushing my face towards his shoulder.

"Rem, do it," Alijah continued to entice me.

I didn’t know how much longer I could hold back. He didn’t know how much I wanted to try it. To wash away everything that bitch had done to him.

No, to mark you as mine. But is it okay for me to do it?

"But I..." I mumbled.

It can’t be right. I’m not her.

My chest was on his, holding a space between us. He was too strong to get away from. I could have ordered him to back off if I wanted to, but I desired him.

No, I...

"Do it as hard as you can, sweetheart." He murmured into my ear before licking my nape.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. The temptation was taking over. I was about to lose it, but not without one more attempt to stop it.

"You didn’t do it like that!" I yelped when Alijah nipped me.

Every slight movement made the water glow under us. He chuckled, gently nibbling on my shoulder, close to where he had bitten me. Shivers ran down my body when he pulled away, doing the same to my ear.

Stopping, his breath landed on my neck again.

This is torture.

"No, I didn’t do it hard, but my fangs are sharper than yours, little Luma. My skin is also a lot thicker. So... bite as you mean it. I won’t let you go until you mark me tonight." Alijah whispered.

I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer as it felt like my heart was in my throat, wishing to come out.

If you allow me to, I’ll archive this memory in the most precious place I can ever put it. Yes, along with every other memory I get to have with you. All so I can relive it when you… No longer want me.

With a brief hesitation, I bit down on the teasing wolf's shoulder, prompting a groan from his lips as a metallic taste flooded my mouth at that moment, too.

"Good girl, now... suck on my skin like you mean it, or it won’t leave a mark." He instructed.

Before doing as he said, I licked the wound much as he had done to me. The taste of his blood, although metallic, was also rather sweet. Lycans used to eat their enemies. So, perhaps that was part of what I was experiencing.

An instinct, much like my...

Much to my surprise, my bite stayed visible on the wolf’s skin as fresh blood trailed down his skin. If anything else had caused that, it would’ve healed right away. He let me go free from his grasp so I could mark him as he had marked me.

Embarrassment filled me when I slowly pressed my lips to his chest. Fearing I would try to run away again, he grabbed hold of my head, again preventing me from any escape as his other hand secured my hips to him.

Letting go of the useless, swelling emotions, I caressed his chest as he did to me. A low hum came from him, holding me tighter to him as I continued to pop my lips on parts of his skin, leaving behind the same marks he did to me.

Getting to the little dark nob on his pectus, I licked before sucking on it, triggering him to shiver a bit.

"Rem," Alijah breathed, loosening his grip on me.

I couldn’t stop caressing him, though. It was as if a box of emotions flooded me again, leaving me wanting to hear his adorable, husky voice.

Your moans... Please give me more of everything you offer.

Unable to take it any longer, he tugged me to face him, biting his lip as his eyes shimmered brightly.

Ah… Did I overdo it?

"If you keep doing that, I’ll pounce on you again." He warned, setting my heart into a storm.

Huh? Did I turn you on? I… didn’t think that was possible. Ah, I’m glad.

"Pounce me?" I mumbled, reaching to his cheek as he traced his thumb on my bottom lip again.

"Yes... I want to fuck you again, Rem. That’s what I mean." Alijah clarified as his gaze shifted into a predatory one.

A soft smile formed on my lips, pushing myself against him.

I don’t care. No, I want you to do it.

My entire being yearned for it.

"Then... do it." I simpered, prompting his cheeks to turn redder as he shook his head before suddenly dunking himself into the water.

Damn it, did I say something wrong?

He surfaced soon after, picking me up so my legs were around his waist again. The water made it easy for him to hold me up, not that he needed it. His wet hair got stuck into his skin while he held me close. Our lips hovered over one another as this tease was too much for me.

The marks I had made on him were still visible, yet I didn’t know how long they would last.

"I think I ran empty earlier, though. So, I’ll probably shoot blanks into you," Alijah informed me, prompting me to wince.

When I was with him, an offspring was the last thing I considered. I wanted him and only him. Baby-making or not, I would try to give him anything that he wanted. I couldn’t hold my emotions back, even if it meant losing myself.

"I... don’t care about that. All I want is you, Alijah. Not your sperm or—" I stopped, noticing I had slipped.

My cheeks turned a shade of red that could rival blood itself. My wolf also reacted the same, though a smile rose on his lips, one that I never expected to see. It was full of something I didn’t dare to label it.

Oh, dear... How… How will I…

"D-Did you know you weren’t fertile before the blood moon? You should also know that it’s hard for me to get pregnant. So, you could fuck me all you want, and I probably won’t get knocked up. One perk of being—" I ranted until Alijah shut me up by crashing his lips into mine.

His tongue invaded my mouth as a soft whine left me. I couldn’t help myself but respond to him.

Ah... I’ll have to go far away from you once Lilith returns. Will she be angry if I stole a little piece of you for myself? Or... all of you?

He drew away from me to breathe, leaving me a hot mess as saliva dripped down my chin.

"Knocked up? Is that what they call it now? You’re foolish, aren’t you?" Alijah chuckled, causing my heart to flutter like a butterfly in the sky.

Why... how... I need to know.

"W-What?" I mumbled.

He snickered again.

"Telling that to a man is like telling him to fuck you nonstop. It doesn’t matter if I’m fertile or not. You should be warier of your words, little Rem." He teased, causing me to growl.

“I—” This wolf wouldn’t let me get another word in before he tugged me into another quick kiss before drawing away.

Tugging me for another quick kiss, he pulled away from me soon after.

"Though... It’s a good thing I didn’t conceive because of that." Alijah added, leaning to brush his lips with mine again as the desire to kiss him grew, but he wasn’t done.

"How lucky was I to have you, of all people, to be stuck to? You’re so different from everyone I have met, Rem. You’re something that I want to taint so badly." He growled playfully, grabbing my cheeks with both of his hands.

Luckily, my legs were still on his waist as my arms held me to him, tightly coiled on his neck. This was dangerous, though. I was about to slip again and couldn’t afford it anymore.

Please... don’t slam my heart open to crush it later.

"Is it because I’m a Silver Fang?" I tried to shift the conversation in one last ditch to turn things around.

Alijah shook his head, kissing me again; this time, he didn’t tug away until my mind was nothing more than a muddled mess.

Just where is all this energy coming from?

"No, stupid girl, because you’re you. I don’t care where you come from or who birthed you. You’re the first to make me want to give this world a shot. The first person I wanted to be marked by. If... there’s even the possibility that more people like you are around.” He paused, biting into his lips before facing me head-on.

“Maybe it isn’t such a terrible place. Though... I’m not fully sure of it myself. So... you’ll have to show me more of it, Rem. Show me more of this beautiful world that you live in." Alijah declared, slamming my heart wide open.

I couldn’t hold my emotions back anymore.

No, we haven’t met for that long yet… I… You are everything I dreamed of and more.

A more minor chuckle came out of him before he bit his lip. "I kind of want to make you cry, Rem, but not of sadness or pain. It’s a first for me."

Eh? Can you choose me? No... No... can you? No... my time with you doesn’t compare to Lilith's. I know that, but… can I have you for the time she isn’t here? Please… I’ll give you back to her when she comes. I promise. No… That’s wrong.

"Alijah... what about—" I attempted to defuse the moment, but he stopped my words with another short kiss, fluttering my heart.

"Don't... We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, okay?" My wolf purred, tracing his hands down my back before clasping my bum and slipping into me again.

Ripples of pleasure and ecstasy filled me as I threw myself into a feverous kiss with him. Every movement that came from our fucking caused waves to shine around us.

Ah… You win.

I allowed myself to be carried by the moment of passion without caring if Alijah was doing this to get me to bend to him or if it was for something else. He was evil, but not the type of malevolence everyone thought him to be.

At least to me, you’re much more. Even though all that awaits me is agony when Lilith comes back, for now, I’ll enjoy these moments with you. I’ll indeed show you everything the world can offer you.

Unable to hold my feelings back, I let loose everything. Tugging away from the kiss, saliva connected us again as it dripped down our chins. At that moment, I hugged him so tightly as his moans hit my ear.

“You’re so tight on me, Rem.” He breathed, thrusting himself a little faster than he was while locking lips with him.

My entire body was moving to his rhythm as his heat seeped into my skin, leaving me broken.

"I love you," I suddenly confessed, tears streaking down my cheeks.

My words triggered Alijah to stop, and he slowly separated himself enough to see my face. His eyes shimmered brightly as his body started to give off the same hue. A soft hum left me as I traced my fingers on his lips, waiting for him to say something, but all he did was gaze at me with wide eyes.

Ah… Did Shade steal your tongue, love?

"I love you. Alijah, I adore you." I professed to him again.

Upon hearing a second time, he winced before kissing me lightly on my lips.

"I... I... say it again." He whispered,

I closed my eyes, knowing I had lost my heart.

To you.

Soon, an agony would come that I couldn’t escape from, but I would show him everything I wanted to give him, which included my beating heart that he held in his hands.

"I love you," I continued to repeat.

Alijah’s cheeks were dark red before he started to move again, this time more passionately than before. Under the moonlight, we embraced until he washed away my world. He was my one and only true soul mate.

If only it were true for you, too.

Aunty Amelia and Grandma Siva were both victims of this emotion surging within me. It seemed we Silver Fang women always had the short stick for love. Both their mates had deceived them because of circumstances. However, Alijah was cheating on his true love with me.

Ah... Why... does it have to be like this? Why can’t it be me?

Even though I was being flooded with kisses and pleasure, Alijah couldn’t wash away the dread settling within my heart.

My agony… can’t be tamed no matter how many times you hold me.

Fear filled me as I waited for the day when Alijah finally chose Lilith over me.

Chapter Text

When the light became too bothersome for my eyelids to shut away, I was on top of Alijah's fluffy fur. We had spent two days like newlyweds on a camping trip. Even though we should’ve been resting after everything that had happened, we had barely done so.

Instead, we held each other whenever we could, to the point I felt off without him in me. This was the first time I woke up clothed while we were on this lake. Though Alijah's fur was too comfy to let go, my tummy rumbled, giving me away.

Noticing I was awake, he shifted back into his humanoid form, and I found myself on him.

"Morning." He smirked, caressing my cheeks as they burned because of his affection.

Stupid stomach...

Everything that had happened was surreal to me. Almost as if I were stuck in a dream, and if I was, I didn’t want to wake up. All the marks I had done to him were gone.

Well, they vanished hours after I made them, and so were mine.

"Morning," I mumbled, struggling to shake away the sleepiness.

He chuckled, tugging me into a kiss, to which I responded immediately. It was brief as he pulled away, leaving me somewhat dazed where I was.

Is anything of this real? Or am I still dreaming back in Wyatt's bed? Or Am I dead? One of those things has to be it. Right?

My body felt like it wasn’t mine anymore as my underwear was drenched with everything Alijah poured into me. The warmth I felt after a simple act of affection was unreal. Ever since this wolf ingested the drug, I felt like I had fallen into an illusion—one I couldn’t wake up from.

Nor do I want to.

"I’m going to go hunt something for us. Stay here, okay?" He announced.

Wyatt’s food had run out last night, which meant if we wanted to eat, he had to get some substance for us. I nodded in acknowledgment before he was gone.

The past two days were something. How can I ever come back from this?

After our moment in the lake, we held each other until the sun came out. We only stopped when we had to eat or other necessities came to pass. I could barely believe everything that had happened.

As I said, it feels surreal. It's as if I’m living a fantasy, which it is, but this isn’t my life.

Every time Alijah left my side, I couldn’t help but wonder how I compared to her or anyone else he held.

Am I good? Am I bad? Is this enough?

It wasn't very pleasant since this was the first time I had experienced anything like this.

Ah... I’m such a mess inside, and not only that.

My jealousy of Lilith was growing with each taste I had of Alijah.

Why... couldn’t I have been born in your time? Would I have a chance for your heart, then? How did you hold Lilith? Is it the same way you embrace me? No, it's probably more loving with more desire. Ah... It hurts.

My heart grew darker with each thought as the insecurities ate me alive.

Hey Alijah, can it be me? Can I win your heart in the end, please? I don’t know if I can let you go safely after this.

Every time I told him how I felt, he would kiss me. If it were to shut me up or because of something else, I wouldn’t know. After all, once Lilith came, all this would end.

A bridge we’ll cross once it arrives. I’m just a good time for you, aren’t I?

There was no point in hoping to be his true love.

That was already decided long before I was born! Perhaps if I had met you before, you would have known her. Maybe then I would’ve had a shot. Damn it! This is just so unfair!

With my wolf gone, all the surrounding orbs appeared around me. Their comments tried to flood my already troubled mind as I had forgotten to put my headphones on. Most of them I could ignore.

All but one... One... broke me.

Ah... It’s so beautiful to love like this. An orb commented, triggering my heart to sting in ways I never knew were possible.

Is that what it looks like? Like you love me? What a joke… I’m just a rare plaything you found! You’re love is Lilith! She isn’t me! No matter how many times I tell you how I feel about you, no matter how many times you fuck me, that will never change.

All I was to him couldn’t have been more than a doll to play with until she came along.

"He... isn’t in love with me. I’m just a warm body he can fuck." I snapped at all their comments of love.

I'm just a body to wash away all the wrong things done to you.

I covered my ears, trying to hold back the tears.

These moments of fantasy are all they will ever be. If I allow myself to think otherwise, I’ll be an idiot.

I had to harden my heart somehow, but Alijah melted it every time I attempted to close it off to him.

I’m doomed to feel agony when all is set and done. Or can I ever let go of the feelings you filled me with each time your skin touches mine? Ah… I’m going crazier with each moment that passes. Rem... the moment should be enough. Just store it somewhere safe. So, when it’s gone, you can relive it.

In that space, that was ours.

Ah... come to think of it. I haven’t lucid dreamed with Alijah since he came into our time.

My last dream like that with him was the day before he arrived in our timeline.

Will I lose the dreams where you were mine?

Tears streaked down my cheeks when I noticed I wasn’t ready for this. Not that I would ever be. These emotions were my downfall.

Why does it have to be a man who’ll never love me in return? It hurts! I… I want to feel your love, too!

I thought this trip would make me hate him, but I loved him more with each day we spent together. Suddenly, I was in his arms as the dangerous warmth surrounded me. He had come back from his hunt to find me sobbing where he had left me.

"Rem, what's the matter?" Alijah’s voice broke.

My breath hitched as I turned towards him before burying my face on his chest.

I can’t tell what a facade or reality is anymore. You genuinely sound concerned about me.

Yet this all could’ve been an act that led me to remove the bond from him.

All of this can be a buff.  I know that!

After all, the Alijah that Mom recounted was twisted by his hatred. There was no way this wolf would let go of it just like that.

Mainly because of me, your most hated clan! I’m a Silver Fang! There’s no way you… That I… I can…

This wolf should’ve been full of hate towards me, yet the words he told me that night felt real.

Ah… Are you going to play me to your tune, my love? Damn it, get a grip, Rem.

This wolf knew about my feelings, yet at least I could keep my insecurities from him.

"They were overwhelming me." I lied, smothering myself on him.

"What?" Alijah mumbled, shifting his gaze, trying to find what ailed me.

I held onto him, forgetting that he couldn’t see them unless it was through my magic. Behind him were a pair of dead pheasant he had hunted in the forest surrounding the lake.

You’re a better hunter than Dad, if I’m honest.

"The ghosts," I mumbled, finding peace in his arms, which were so warm.

Be mine... Alijah.

My love was becoming more painful with each passing day. I wondered if this was how it would be until we met her—the one who would end it for me once and for all.

"Oh, okay... Well, I’m here. They don’t bother you while I’m around, right?" Alijah asked, pulling my face up towards him.

His fingers wiped away my tears as I couldn’t help but lean into his touch.

Everything you do seems genuine, but I can’t allow myself to fall entirely.

It would be foolish to be tricked by the wicked wolf.

Though, I want to be deceived by you.

"They’re almost mute while you’re here," I simpered, prompting him to smile too.

Why Alijah... Why make me feel this way? When you’ll never respond the way I want you to.

"I see. They weren’t as bad the past two days, though.” He paused, narrowing his eyes at me before a soft sigh left his lips. “Either way, stay close, and next time, put your headphones on, okay?"

I nodded as he patted my hair as if I were a tiny pup in his eyes.

Will I have to give up the warmth you give me? Of course, I’ll have to. Get a grip, Rem. Remember… I’m not the main girl in your heart.

It was ridiculous to think I could have him.

“I completely forgot about them! Alijah-tan, you kind of fucked my brains out yesterday.” I joked, forcing myself to smile.

He shook his head, letting go of my face.

"Don't do that." He breathed, stepping away from me, which left me cocking my head.

"What?" I mumbled.

He picked up the birds from where he had dropped them.

"Don't force yourself to smile when you don’t want to. It looks weird on you." Alijah rolled his eyes as I blinked, unable to think of a single word to say to him.

Before I heard a single sound, his gaze found me, and a wary smile rose on his lips. "I mean, if you want to cry, just do it. You don’t have to fake your emotions with me. I’ll also do the same with you, Rem."

This wolf...

I couldn’t contain my emotions again.

How... just how do you know how I feel?

"Alijah-tan, can you read minds?" I gasped, trying to hold on to my tears.

I couldn’t understand what this meant and didn’t let myself. It was something I couldn’t allow because if I read into it, it would leave me helpless against him.

Just how long have you been watching me to notice that? From the first night? No... No... Rem... don’t become a fool. This wolf can’t… love you.

He would never care for me the way I wanted; even if he did, it would be a fleeting moment.

Though can I live with that? With a fleeting moment, like I was for Aunty Amelia?

"What? No, if I could, you wouldn’t be puzzling to me. Rem, stop calling me that!" He rolled his eyes, shaking his head again.

For a moment, there was silence, but he quickly broke it, releasing a slight chuckle. "I wish I could read your little mind, though.”

I couldn't hold myself back when I saw that genuine smile on his lips. The false hope that he would care for me rushed through my head. Before I realized it, I had his shirt in my fists, pulling myself up to meet with his lips.

My tongue roamed his lips, causing him to drop the birds onto the ground again and grip the back of my head. He opened his mouth to let me in, but I could only play with him briefly. Sadly, he drew away soon after.

"Rem... aren't you hungry?" Alijah asked, licking his lower lip, prompting me to drag him back into another light peck.

This time, I nibbled gently on his lower lip, which caused him to breathe heavily.

Ah… You’re holding yourself back, aren’t you? Is it because of my grumbling tummy? Or is it something else?

He probably didn’t desire to hold me anymore, but I wanted him.

"What if I choose to eat you first?" I asked.

It hurt to try to hold back after hearing that come from Alijah. Even if it was a lie, it was one that I wanted to believe. A facade that he had been watching me close enough to know when I laughed and smiled genuinely.

Upon hearing my intention, my wolf bit onto his lip before tugging me into a kiss, which I returned happily. For a few moments, our tongues intertwined before he drew away, lapping my lip. He held my head in place, preventing me from following him for more.

I could barely understand anything anymore because of the tease of having him so close.

"I don’t want you to faint from not eating. So, I’ll give you plenty of me to eat after I prepare the birds and place them on the fire. Does that sound good?" Alijah smirked.

Damn, you really know how to play me to your tune. I’m utterly helpless.

"Okay," I nodded, triggering another smile erupt from him.

"Adorable," He mumbled, pulling away from me once again.

I couldn’t help but grip my chest, feeling a bit rejected, but before that thought could settle, Alijah sighed before turning back to me.

"Don't just stand there. Help me, and it’ll go way faster. I mean, unless..." He tried to tease me, only for me to stop him in his tracks.

"I’ll help!" I declared, running to him.

He chuckled, leaving me feeling like I was walking on clouds. Before I fell off the roof, Dad taught me to prepare different prey. However, I rarely did the skinning, as my brothers and Dad usually did that during our camping trips.

My inexperience quickly showed, which caused Alijah to get closer to inspect my plucking technique.

"You really suck at that," he pointed out.

I glared at him in return for his comment. “Excuse me!”

"Just mimic what I’m doing. Later, I’ll also show you how to prepare fish and skin animals." He added with a slight cackle.

I nodded, feeling excited about him teaching me. My tail wagged a bit as I attempted to follow his lead.

Right now… do we look like a couple? Can I believe this is real?

Chapter Text

A smile grew on my lips as my thoughts wandered to other things, triggering Alijah to flick my forehead.

“Oi! Concentrate, or you can hurt yourself without wanting to." He huffed, rolling his eyes.

I sighed, plucking a feather off the bird as it wasn’t long before I fell behind again. He was much better at it than I was at preparing our food. When he finished, I wasn’t even halfway done with mine, but instead of hurrying me up, he kept giving me tips on how to do it right.

Usually, people would scald the bird to make it easier to pluck, but we didn’t have the resources. Alijah, though, was used to doing it without hot water. This entire experience made me admire my wolf even more.

You’re a hunter at heart.

Again, I was getting ahead of myself with useless thoughts. His words made me wonder if he had taught anyone else or had done something like this with Lilith.

Why can’t I separate them?

It wasn’t long until the negative thoughts invaded my mind.

Ah… Why didn’t I think of this before? Perhaps you’re using this as an excuse not to embrace me.

When the last feather came off, Alijah stood up from where he was, heading to grab a knife from his bag.

You… don’t have to do this with me if you don’t want to.

Maybe I had been too forceful with my confession. He was relieving himself from the drug when I did that.

Just because you love to tease me doesn’t mean you want to do those things with me. At least romantically, like I’m pushing it to be. Crap! Doesn’t that make me like every other girl you’ve met? Selfish and ugly in the heart… I… I don’t want to…

"Alijah... does doing those things with me bother you?" I asked, hoping he would be truthful with me.

After all, the last thing I wanted was to make him uncomfortable, and he had a significant past of sexual abuse. I never wanted to resemble any of the people that came before me. However, this question was a little late after everything that happened.

I should’ve asked you sooner. I’m sorry for being an idiot.

"What? You mean the sex?" He asked, walking back towards me with the knife in his hand.

"Yes," I answered, hoping he would crush my feelings.

If he did, it would free me from everything, yet instead, he...

"No, Rem. I’m not bothered by it. If anything, I’m growing fond of holding you every night." Alijah smirked at me, sitting beside me again.

I frowned, unable to tell if this wolf that held my heart in his hands was truthful. He had always been straightforward, yet…

"Are you lying?" I asked, glancing away from him and back into the featherless bird in my hands.

He sighed, "I don’t lie, Rem. I actually think I’m lacking a filter in most cases."

My gaze fell on him as he bit his lip before leaning closer to me.

"Rem, no man would ever think being with you is a curse. Though you hold me on a tight leash." He whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine in anticipation of his touch.

Is it really okay for me to want you this much?

"I see. Maybe I should shorten it more." I grumbled, feeling my cheeks burn.

He licked my neck in response to my words.

"Let’s finish this, and I’ll show you how short it already is, " he teased as I glanced at him with hopeful eyes.

Then, he closed the small gap between us, kissing me lightly on my lips. Separating from me right away, he opened his mouth only to close it and grab the bird from my hands.

Ah… What was that?

In a matter of minutes, he prepared one bird while helping me with the other. Once they were ready, we placed them near the fire to cook before we washed our hands in the lake. After we were done, Alijah sat by the water's edge, peering at the horizon.

I could only gaze at him when he slowly turned to meet my eyes.

"Rem, why did you say you loved me?" he asked, catching me off guard.

Even though I wanted to take those words back and protect my heart, the fact I told him so many times how I felt wouldn’t let me. I couldn’t run away from him anymore.

"Because I do." I breathed, shaking my hands to dry them.

Alijah gazed at me, scrunching his eyes as those words made no sense. After everything he went through, those words thrown at him were meaningless. Yet my affection differed from those he was used to, or at least I hoped it was.

"You’ve only known me for a short time, though. How can you say that to me without knowing me?" He questioned, shaking his head.

A soft hum left my lips as I sat next to him before scooching over closer.

If… I don’t tell you the truth now. You’ll never heal, will you? Hey… Alijah… You’re capable of being loved.

"That’s not true. I feel like I’ve known you for a long time." I confessed, remembering every dream I had with him before that fateful day in the lake.

Every moment we spent together in that space was our escape—well, at least it was my nirvana.

"Because of what Lilith told you about me?" Alijah's query continued.

I shook my head slightly, giggling, remembering my first dream of him. He wasn’t as rough as he was on the day of the lake, but he was utterly cold to me.

You are a total grump and annoying. Oh, I thought you were annoying at first, especially after I fought with my mother about wanting more freedom. It all started when I stormed into her room and found your picture—long before she told me who you were.

At that point, I was fifteen, and he was the most prominent grumpy person I had ever met. They even went as far as calling me a twerp and told me to mind my own business.

It was only us two there! You weren’t as different as you are now, either.

I remember throwing the first thing that I found at him because he pissed me off. In response to my aggression, the grump growled at me loudly before telling me to fuck off. Perhaps he didn’t get violent because I was a kid back then.

Come to think of it, most of my naughty dreams began after I was seventeen. Before then, they were so innocent and didn’t go past a simple brush of the hands. We mostly talked about things and explored the world we created that day.

I think I was the one who started the intimacy, too much like I did in our reality in the cave. Oh goodness, Rem, you vixen.

Those dreams were lucid, allowing me to remember everything we said and did together. It didn’t help that I recorded every dream in a journal I had left back home. Most of my dreams started in this empty white space where he would appear a few seconds later after I arrived.

Once there, we would transform the terrain into a new place. In my dream, I never asked for his name, nor did he ask for mine. We accompanied each other through it all.

All of that was probably my mind playing tricks on me.

Even in the most passionate dreams, I never screamed his name or did I tell him mine.

We only ever used code names for each other. Alijah called me twerp or dove, while I called him a grumpy old wolf. It quickly changed to wolf after my seventeenth birthday.

Those dreams were an escape for me.

However, I kept it that way because the moment I learned Alijah's name, I knew he wasn’t meant for me.

At least in those dreams with you, you were mine alone.

It was a silly thought that I had stopped having them. Instead, I had the real thing next to me.

Ah... I’m a weird one.

He would probably freak out the moment he knew everything. I was perhaps the most significant creep he had ever met.

Yes, I was a stalker—an obsessed girl. Yet All I want is your happiness; the cost doesn’t matter.

"No, but you wouldn’t understand and probably think I’m creepy." I bit into my bottom lip, shifting my gaze away from him briefly.

Woman up, Rem. All of this was your choice.

"Eh, I’m sorry to tell you, but you’ve been the weirdest person I’ve ever met. I mean, you even talk to ghosts. So, doesn't that make you already a creep?" Alijah teased me.

Of course, you would say that.

I grumbled, "You’re a jerk, but not that I mind it much."

A soft chuckle was released from my beloved wolf, as there wasn’t a scary bone in this man if one got to know him.

"Hey, Alijah... did you ever dream when you were stuck in that realm?" I asked, catching him off guard as well.

For a moment, my wolf glanced at me before cocking his head. Time flowed differently there, which made me believe that perhaps my dreams were with him, like when he had connected with Mom all those years ago.

A silly hope I can’t let go of.

My heart sped up while I awaited my answer, yet I felt crumbling.

"I can’t say that I dreamt when I was there," Alijah answered after pondering it for a while.

His answer felt like someone had ripped my heart out of my chest.

Ah… I was delusional and a complete mess. We aren’t fated at all.

I tried to hold back my tears while I faced him, but before I could say anything, Alijah smiled gently.

"Ah... I did have these moments when I zoned out, I guess." He added, catching my attention.

Oh... how cruel hope was.

"Moments?" I clung to those words like I never thought I would.

It was like grasping at straws, which I knew would only end in disappointment. Yet I wanted those moments that I spent with him to be authentic. For all the years I spent dreaming with him to be imprinted into his heart.

"Yeah, like daydreams. I don’t think I ever slept while in that, but there were moments I…" He trailed off, narrowing his eyes.

I tried to shut myself down.

This has to stop. It’s better now than later. This hope is poisonous to me.

"About your Lilith?" I asked, biting my lip nervously.

Alijah gazed out at the lake, shaking his head slightly.

"I don’t know, " he answered, leaving me with nothing to help me control my overwhelming emotions.

“Ah… I see.” I breathed, clasping onto my chest.

He wouldn’t leave me like that for long, though.

No... you would...

"Though I was happy after having them. Usually, whenever I thought about Lilith, I was angrier than usual, but in those moments, I felt at peace. Anyway, you’re changing the topic." Alijah added, turning to me, filling my heart with a dangerous hope.

Why are you so ambiguous about it? Just crush me. Please... don’t fill me up with this… then…

"So... you didn’t daydream about Lilith at all?" I tried to pry deeper.

I loved him more than this world, and it was spilling out of me again.

Why can’t I hold back, even though I know I’ll never be number one in your life?

"No, I think it was a girl, but I can never remember her face after. I initially thought it was your mother, but her face never got clearer, even though I met her. Why are you asking me this instead of answering my question?" Alijah frowned.

He wasn’t hiding anything from me.

Yet, can I believe you? Ah… my heart can’t take much more of this.

Chapter Text

Pinned by a simple question, I struggled to answer the wolf before me.

"I-I..." I tried to start but lost my voice when Alijah grabbed my chin.

His eyes were too enticing for me as his words filled my heart with a hope that I never thought I could allow myself to feel.

Am I not delusional? That was me? Somehow, against all odds… Could it have been me!? Please…

"The way you’re looking at me is triggering me, Rem," He smirked, leaning to kiss me.

However, I finally burst open before he could fully reach to seal my lips.

"I used to have dreams about you every day!" I suddenly declared, stopping him right in his tracks.

“What?” He chuckled, "You’re so random."

No, I… This isn’t a joke!

I growled, grabbing onto his cheeks and stopping his laughter.

"It’s not random! When I was younger, I saw my mom's drawing of you, which triggered something in me. Then, after that, I dreamed about you every night, and you aren't different from who I was with!" I ranted.

Alijah pulled me towards him, making me land on his lap. My hands barely held me up on his shoulders.

"Oi, you mean you had nightmares about a man set on destroying the world?" His previous warmth disappeared as his eyes turned colder towards me.

Ah… you don’t believe me!

I wouldn’t allow him to misunderstand me, though. It was okay if he thought I was delusional, but at least I would show him all my heart could give him until he decided between me and his true love.

"No... I mean... At first, you were a cold grump, but each night I dreamt of you, I melted your heart, and then I..." I stopped for a moment to gaze up at Alijah's face.

His cheeks seemed to have gone light pink, which also flustered me.

“What?” He breathed, slanting his ears.

Did I say something weird?

Though his reaction was also rather cute, I always wanted him to respond to me like that. All the coldness from before had vanished from his eyes as they filled with a different emotion.

Don’t stop now, Rem... keep melting his heart.

"None of that matters. I fell in love with you again when I first saw you in the howling forest." I confessed, knowing it would only bring me agony in the end.

Nothing good would come from him knowing all of this, yet I wanted him to know.

Why can’t I hold back? Oh… that’s right… because I want to shower you with all the affection I have. So… when the time comes, I have no regrets.

"Even though I tried to kill you?" Alijah tried to push back, eyes growing a bit icy again.

After everything you went through, I don’t blame you for not believing me. Hey, Alijah, how many people told you those words before hurting you? I… promise I won’t hurt you willingly.

Pulling myself up, I kissed his forehead as he tugged away to meet my eyes.

"You didn’t try to kill me. If you did, I would’ve been dead." I pointed out.

Alijah released a nervous chuckle, “I hesitated.”

Yes, and that gave me the chance to bond you to me.

"Why didn’t you kill me that night?" I asked, hoping he would say he felt the same as I had that night.

That lightning had struck you, making you realize I was the love of your life. Stupid, I know. That’s a dream that will never come true.

Yet I desired it so much to be loved by this man.

To be more than just a simple fuck.

"I... I don't know." Alijah sighed.

I tried to hold my disappointment in check as my heart dropped. His answer made me feel like I could shatter into a million pieces. It wouldn’t be long before the tears would rush through as they stung my eyes.

I must stop them. All of this was me, not you. It’s wrong of me to push my emotions into you like I’m doing.

“I see.” I tried to tug myself away, only for him to hold me in place.

“Rem,” His voice was shaky as I closed my eyes.

Do you want me to address it further? Why can’t you reject me and be done with it? Is it because of the bond? No… it’s because of what you promised me earlier.

A simple fuck was all that awaited me, yet I couldn’t reject it. His touch was addicting, and I wanted more while I could have it.

"You don’t have to do this. If my feelings for you… bother you. I’m sorry I won’t touch you—" Before I could finish that thought, Alijah grabbed me by my chin, forcing me to gaze at him.

I was about to break as tears trailed down my cheeks again.

"Your feelings don’t bother me, Rem. I just can't understand them. I’m not a good person." He assured, as his expression only showed how troubled he was about this.

This wolf was tired of fighting off the emotions I had been trying to show him since I met him. It scared him to know someone like me existed in the world. Before I knew it, he went to pull me for a kiss, only for me to push away from him.

There was something I needed to ask him before the simple, unemotional fucking began—something that needed to be said before anything else, or else I would break under pressure. My shoulders already felt so heavy.

"Then... Can I continue loving you?" I asked,

My question made Alijah appear flustered, shaking his head. “What? Sweetheart, I can't choose that for you.”

That would be another memory that I would engrave into my mind. Even though I knew it would end in agony, I couldn’t stop myself. I needed to see if it was okay.

"I want to love you. So, can I love you, Alijah?" I asked again, placing my arms around his neck and slowly getting closer to his lips.

Can I try to own your heart? Just to try... I would love that. Please… don’t break me.

"I want you to," he whispered.

A second later, my lips touched his lightly.

I have to stop worrying about what’s coming and enjoy the moment. If the time comes when you tell me to leave, then I will. So, in the meantime, I’ll stop hesitating and live in this dream. Perhaps I’ll never wake up from it.

I pulled away slightly, smiling, prompting him to clasp the back of my head and pull me into another, but I stopped him by placing my fingertips on his lips.

"Then... I’ll shower you with so much love until you’re fed up with me," I promised.

“Such a fool,” Alijah growled before drawing me into a much deeper kiss than all the others.

His tongue caressed mine while I unbuttoned his shirt.

I have to burn everything into memory so that I can always visit it in my fantasies when it vanishes.

Dreams that I wished would return when he was no longer on my side. My hands roamed his chest when he was free from his shirt while his limbs remained firm on my hips. They almost appeared hesitant to move.

Pulling away from his chest, I grabbed his palms when he tugged away from the kiss for fresh air.

"You don’t want to touch me?" I asked, a bit out of breath, dragging one of Alijah's hands from my hips to my breast over my shirt.

It fit perfectly in his palm, not that he was small like my bosom. Instinctively, he squeezed it gently, sending shivers down my spine.

"No, I want to, but can I do that?" Alijah asked, shaking his head.

I gazed at him, confused, as something ominous built inside me. I wondered the meaning behind every time he asked me if he could do anything.

"After everything we’ve done. Why do you even ask that?" I questioned, reaching for him.

He bit his lip, wincing soon after.

Ah… is it from your abuse or something else?

"A habit, sorry." He apologized, gazing away from me.

I grabbed onto his cheeks, huffing myself up.

That’s unacceptable!

"No... never apologize. Alijah, you don’t have to ask to touch or fuck me. I’m yours to do what you want with. My entire being is yours to do as you please." I assured him.

“Rem, don’t say that.” He mumbled, shifting his gaze down towards the floor.

"No, it’s true! You don’t need my permission because I always want to be held by you. Even if it’s painful, I’ll always want you." I reassured him, prompting his glance to find mine again.

Even if you leave me… I’ll always want you!

He disagreed with what came out of me, but his eyes seemed tender towards me.

"Rem, I won’t hurt you like I did when I—" Alijah tried to argue with me, but there wasn’t any reason to hold these emotions back.

"I don’t care if you make me bleed. Just hold me tightly, please!" I simpered, holding back words that would be binding.

And never let me go.

I would never make Alijah choose me. When those words left me, he clashed his lips with mine as his hands found their way to my breast, triggering jitters to erupt from me. Pulling away from our sweet kiss, he gently pinched my nobs between his fingers, prompting me to yelp.

"That’s the only type of pain you’ll ever feel from me." He smirked, leaving me somewhat fuzzy.

"Okay, I like that too," I whispered, simpering.

“Hah, you aren’t a half-wolf; you’re a little vixen.” Alijah cooed, ridding me of any cloth that covered me before kissing me again.

A soft mewl left me when his fingers found their way into me, pumping them at a steady pace to ready me for the main course.

Tugging away from my lips, it wasn’t long until he leaned down to suckle on one of my nipples, allowing me, allowing me to trail my hands through his hair.

“Hm, I love you,” I professed, making his lips pop on my areola.

A second later, a feverous make-out followed my words as our tongues tangoed with one another while I undid his pants. Tugging away his fingers from my depths, it wasn’t long until I felt his tip press against it.

My eyes darted toward our connection as a sharp whine left my lips when he slipped it in. Compared to the previous days, there was no slight discomfort. This meant all I felt was pleasure when he suddenly rammed himself into me.

“Rem, by the gods, you’re addicting as fuck.” He huffed, moving at his usual animalistic rhythm.

Unable to keep to myself, I licked his lips as his tongue met with mine soon after. Even though he was rough, the way he caressed my walls was tender. There wasn’t an ounce of pain since he always made sure I was lubricated enough.

Unlike our first time…

Grabbing onto his hair, I indulged in his kisses that drowned much of my mewls. The soft grass under me didn’t hurt my back, which allowed him to make a mess of me without worrying about hurting me.

In turn, all I felt was pure pleasure throbbing within me as I couldn’t help but curl my toes as I clung to him with push and pull. Even though this happiness wasn’t mine, it made me feel like I was in the clouds.

Alijah accepted my feelings, and that made me feel bliss. My hips bucked on their own, causing my wolf to grasp on my bum for better support. Pulling away from my lips, a saliva string connected us, as some of it dripped from my lips and his.

A knot had formed in my belly as my vision blurred at times.

“Alijah, I-I feel—” I mewled, unable to finish that thought.

“I know, you’re clenching on me so tightly.” He smirked, enjoying the feeling of being in me.

“Am I good?” I panted for air, hoping he felt the same as me.

“What a useless thought.” He shoved himself into me, causing me to whine.

Fixing his hair, sweat dripped from him and onto me before sliding onto the ground below.

“Alijah! I’m so full!” I squealed, feeling him kiss my cervix with his tip.

“Ah, you’re the best I’ve ever had, Rem. Give me more.” He licked his lips before a smirk formed on them.

His answer caused my heart to race. It almost seemed like I could see doubles as my legs tightly coiled around his hips.

“Fuck! Don’t get tighter. I can barely…” He trailed off, thrusting himself into me again.

“Alijah!” I mewled, gripping my hands on his shoulders.

“Fuck it, I’m going to knot you so hard.” My wolf breathed, nipping my ear as I could barely follow anything other than his movements.

“Please, fill me up more!” I whined loudly as he became sluggish with his shoves.

I knew he was about to reward me for all the times he had held me.

“Alijah, I love you!” I mewled, clashing his lips.

My tongue invaded his cavity, and his grip on my bum grew tighter before he suddenly thrust himself into me. It felt like he filled me to the brim before moaning, holding himself in place as my walls suddenly clamped down on him.

His sound made me deepen our connection, unable to hold myself back as his voice rippled through my entire body. It wasn’t like he stayed behind as his tongue feverously tangoed with mine, leaving my body convulsing under him as my mind whited out.

My voice suddenly wasn’t mine as my entire core felt like I would melt along with him that pulsated within me—a soft chuckle left his lips upon feeling me tremble under him.

“Fuck, you’re adorable, Rem. I haven’t even fully knotted you, yet you clamp down on me.” He breathed, eyes shimmering.

“I… I… I’m sorry. I thought…” I mumbled, barely able to follow long.

Cupping my cheek in his hand, he guided my gaze to meet his: “Don’t apologize for reacting so passionately to me. It’s a first for me. I came so hard when you did that.”

First?!

Before that thought fully formed, his lips found mine as he kneaded one of my breasts while slowly picking up his previous rhythm as my walls struggled to let go of him entirely. Drawing away from our kiss, he leaned into my ear.

“You’re still so tight even though I didn’t swell. Does it hurt?” He breathed, shoving his warmth deep within my core.

“No! More!” I demanded as he silenced me with another lock of our lips.

This led to multiple releases from me while he only had one. However, when he reached his peak the second time, he ground himself into me, swelling within me and locking us in place. Instinctively, his action triggered me to find my release for the fifth time since we began.

It was almost unfair. All I could do was pant for air as my body trembled in pleasure and consciousness wavered.

Cupping onto my cheeks, he pressed his lips against my jawline.

“Are you okay?” He panted, shifting his gaze towards the flames.

I slowly nodded, feeling frazzled.

"Hm… Food will be ready soon," Alijah announced, shifting his gaze back to me before lightly kissing my lips.

He trailed down his affection towards my neck when I felt his tongue and fangs gently pressed against it.

“Ali… my mind is all muddled.” I whimpered, shivering at his every touch.

He pulled away, smirking at me. “I know, baby girl. Once the knot goes down, let’s get dressed to eat. Unless you want more of me?”

A soft hum left my lips before I hugged him back into a kiss—one he welcomed, allowing me to play with his tongue. Tugging away from him slightly, I nibbled on his bottom lip.

"I could never have enough of you." I tried to tempt.

My unsuspected action caused the wolf to chuckle nervously before he pressed my forehead against his and brushed his lips against mine.

"Well, it’s good we have all the time in the world for you to have your fill of me, but the food will burn if we don’t tend to it soon. So after you eat, if you want more, all you have to do is say it.” He smiled as I felt a sting in my chest that snapped me out of the bliss I found myself in.

Those words are probably empty, yet I can’t help but feel hopeful.

After a few more sweet moments, he tugged away and fixed his pants as I grabbed onto my clothes and placed them on. However, it wasn’t long until I found my way next to Alijah, eating the meal he had brought.

Even though I had enjoyed my time with him, my mind was plagued by the day he would leave.

Chapter Text

Whenever negative thoughts invaded me, I tried to push them away by indulging myself in Alijah. Once we were done eating, I helped brush his long hair before braiding it again. My heart stung when I used the same cloth he used to hold it together.

Part of me wanted to ask if Lilith had given it to him, but the answer scared me.

What would I do if she gave it to you? Can I make you throw it away or replace it? No… Stupid Rem.

It didn’t concern me if he wanted to wear something to remember her. Even though the jealousy growing within me wanted it gone, I held back every comment that wished it disappeared. When I finished, I pulled away, only for him to catch me.

In one tug, I found myself on his lap.

"Where do you think you are going?" my wolf asked, holding me close.

"Ah… I-I was going to put the brush away," I answered, trying to hide the truth.

He picked up my hair in his hands before licking the back of my neck, triggering shivers down my spine.

"Why? Don't you want me to brush yours?" He huffed, grabbing onto one of my breasts.

His other hand held me in place so I couldn’t run away. I had opened the gateway to endless teases when I said to him he could touch me however he wanted.

Not that I mind them.

"Y-You... want to d-do that?" I stuttered, trying to keep my cool.

Alijah smiled, nodding his head. "Why wouldn't I?" he tilted his head, grabbing the brush off my hands.

At least I’m glad you aren’t asking to touch me anymore. Wait… didn’t he usually tease without asking either? Great, now I don’t know if you are serious or not.

"I don’t know, thank you, though." I smiled as he shook his head.

“Just look at this mess.” Alijah huffed, detangling my slightly mattered hair. “You need to take better care of it.”

“I know! It’s just second in my—ouch!” I growled as he shrugged.

“If you didn’t let it tangle, you wouldn’t feel that.” He scolded as I felt nothing more like a child.

Come to think of it, how many times did you treat me like this when I was younger? You really are…

He probably thought I was some crazy bitch with everything I had told him, and I was one.

Nothing like how your sweet Lilith was. Argh, I have no chance to win your heart.

There, I sat silently, allowing him to brush my hair.

You know… You’d be a pretty good dad. Too bad Lilith isn’t compatible with you, and I’m… probably infertile, so an oopsie would never happen. But… can I… imagine one?

Unable to help it, I reached toward my abdomen.

It still feels hot in there, but I know nothing will ever come of it.

Before I knew it, he tied my hair up with something.

“Hah... it works like the lady said it would,” Alijah chuckled.

Huh?

When I touched my tied hair, it felt scrunchy, with what looked like a cloth flower.

What?

My eyes shifted towards the black wolf, who smiled in return.

A man who had killed many did a girl's hair like nothing. You really… This world made you into a killer; you weren’t born one, were you, Alijah?

"Yep, perfect. It’s a miracle how it survived that fight in my pocket. I saw it when I went to get your bag from the cave." He traced his hand on my cheek.

How can the cold Alijah warm my heart in ways I thought impossible? How will I ever… stop loving you?

When we were in the first town, he wouldn’t talk to anyone unless they addressed themselves directly to him, but somehow, he bought something by himself—something that wasn’t even for personal use. My heart was conquered long ago, but this made me feel ecstasy.

"It’s a black scrunchy with a white gardenia on it. It’s made from fabric, though. So, it can get dirty easily.” He cleared his throat.

“Alijah…” I trailed off, feeling my heart filled with him.

“The lady was trying to sell it to me so hard, telling me how girls loved it, but I only cared if you would like it. It suits you. Pure, little Rem." Alijah said, his cheeks rosy, as an enormous smile rose on my lips.

This was a delight I thought I could never hold on to.

"I love it. I’ll cherish it." I beamed, happily hugging him.

My love for him was eternal. There was no way I would ever hate him, even when he was tired of me. That was a hope I would have to let go of.

Every day, you suck me deeper into this love. I’m doomed.

My dreams were nothing compared to the real thing in front of me.

How will I ever let go of you if you keep doing things like this? Ah... yes, for your happiness. For that, I’ll do anything. Even letting you go as it kills me.

"Ah... you don’t have to go that far. It’s just an accessory. Plus, your hair was impeding everything." Alijah shrugged, shifting his gaze towards the side.

Though his cheeks were pink, and his expression was adorable. My wolf was embarrassed, and I enjoyed that moment to the fullest.

"It’s more than just that," I assured him.

He cocked his head again as I couldn’t let go of the happiness that was surging within me. I grabbed the hand still on my cheek before fully leaning on it.

I never want to let go of this warmth. It’s my escape. My love. My everything. You’re my world.

"I love you, Alijah." I simpered, feeling happy with these moments.

I didn’t know my expression, but he yanked me into a kiss that led to much more.

Hey Alijah, gardenias symbolize purity and gentleness. Did you know that when you picked one out for me? I doubt it.

If he had known the meaning of the flower, he would’ve probably picked something else. There wasn’t a pure or gentle bone in my body. The only reason I knew the meaning of the flower was because of Vera's friends and their stupid gossip.

It was more of an elven tradition than for Lycans, though.

No, for us, wolves. All that mattered was the blood moon and its glorious powers.

After another moment of passion, my hair and Alijah's were ruined again as we lay bare on the ground, surrounded by stars in the sky. There was nothing warmer than being in each other's arms. We dipped in the lake that night before returning to each other's embrace.

His present had become a bracelet while we fucked. That was our last memory in the bioluminescent lake before we took our leave, even though it was sad to say goodbye to the beauty right before us.

There were many more wondrous places to visit on our journey. Plus, taking another day there would’ve put us dangerously close to being found by Aiden and Caden.

Those two are surely not far behind us.

Thankfully, Alijah's speed had placed us days away from them. The elven nation was also big enough to hide us for years if no one saw us or got our scent. That alone was hard to track, thanks to the windy winds that Azear was known for.

It wasn’t long before we found ourselves in the next village, where I bought another costume to hide from all the wanted papers spread around every town. Luckily, it was Alijah's picture that my mother had drawn, allowing me to sneak primarily undetected.

My family didn’t want people to know that their daughter was missing. If they caught me, they would surely try to ransom me to the highest bidder. Even so, I had to do something about my hair, which was easily remedied by buying a new wig and clothes and accessories for us to wear.

The people at the shop looked at me like I was crazy, but luckily, no one called the authorities since I ultimately paid for the stuff.

How did I get all this money? Easy... I kind of stole it from the safe from the manor when everyone left me behind to go on their hunt for Alijah, but in my defense, they wouldn’t allow me to work. So I had no choice!

I wanted to go on this journey, and nothing in this world was free. Plus, it wasn’t like it mattered.

Aside from the vampires in Night City, the Silver Fang family was the most powerful in the world, so my chunk of cash didn’t affect them. After buying everything I needed, I scurried to where I had left my wolf near the village's edge.

Like always, he was keeping to himself, watching people pass. Once he noticed me, we headed to the nearest inn before buying a room. I always had to talk while the grump stood beside me, trying not to attract much attention.

Luckily, being as free-spirited as always, ocean elves didn’t care to look at him closely. After finally making it to the rented room, our night of passion started in the bathroom before finishing in bed.

I had slept on Alijah for three days straight, so the bed felt comfortable but not as warm as his. It didn't matter; his heat transferred to me through our skin.

But if I could, I would make you my permanent bed. Unlike me, you slept on the ground, so the bed must be a blessing.

However, the affectionate wolf didn’t let go of me the entire night. Giggles left me the whole time we were together, as the affection left me euphoric. Ultimately, it didn’t matter if I was camping in the woods or an inn; I slept surrounded by his warmth.

The next morning, we spent the day eating at different places.

Or, as Alijah liked to say, I was stuffing him with random things—foods he had never eaten or experienced before.

We spent months traveling to different places and each night in each other's arms. It felt like we were on a honeymoon trip around the world, and at one point, I forgot why I was doing this. His affection had drowned my senses.

I mewled under Alijah every night, expressing how much I loved him. The air around him became lighter each day, making me forget how dangerous he was, though I never let go of his leash.

Somewhere in the moments of happiness, I kept that up.

However, my wolf never asked me to hurt anyone else during the months that we traveled. We had decided not to spend much time in Azear because of how hot it would be to stay. So, we left the nation the day after our passionate night in the inn.

Of course, we avoided airships like the plague, but with Alijah’s speed, they were not needed. Another thing to prevent was big cities if we wanted to avoid Cerberus. This meant we were in rural areas rather than densely populated ones.

From a forest full of crystal butterflies and caves full of wonder in Niamoor to the raging lava rivers and volcanos in Zent, Niamoor was the Nature elven continent that housed one of the prettiest forests I had ever seen.

Butterflies, fairies, and even translucent dears made up their flora, reminding me I had never seen a fairy be so angry. Even the stupid videos from forums never showed them like this. They were like glowing little fireflies that sparked off magic whenever anyone got too close.

Their shimmer was long-lasting and came in an array of colors. At times, it felt like I was seeing rainbows flying around. Sadly, they didn’t speak our language. In fact, they didn’t speak at all. We had stumbled upon them by mistake when we exited the forest.

It was a small flock of them, though they weren’t happy to see us. Usually, intruders weren’t suitable for their flowers; without them, they couldn’t have lived. This was the main reason they could only be found in elven lands.

Every other race was too destructive for them to live in peace, and the flowers were the way they birthed others. Their diminutive nature caused Alijah to keep away from them, too. It was enjoyable to see him skittish around them.

Truthfully, though, he thought they were too beautiful to mess with. The flowers in Niamoor also had varieties I had never seen. Most of them glowed through the night, making it seem like we were walking among the stars.

Unlike the ocean elves we met, the elves that made their home there were kind people. I never expected them to be so welcoming, but they also seemed in tune with the surrounding ecosystems. It was also excellent to see them grow vegetables with their magic even when they weren’t in season.

Let me tell you, the food there was also excellent! Hah, if only you three were here to experience this with us. Caden, Aiden, and Vera… I miss you, but I’m not willing to give up this freedom or my beloved wolf just yet.

Just a bit longer... Then I'll come home...

Chapter Text

As our adventure continued, the one in Nature Elves' lands culminated with me asking Alijah to dance with me for one of their festivities. If everyone cooperated, it would help grow more fruits and grain, or at least that was what they said.

Clearing my throat, I stood up from the chair by the bonfire and reached out to the grump, who was rolling his eyes at the idea.

“Dance with me!” I beamed as my wolf’s eyes widened before narrowing them.

“What? Are you crazy? I don’t know how to dance!” He growled, darting his eyes around as everyone was coupling up.

“Aw, c’mon! Dance with me!” I grabbed onto his hand, triggering his gaze to land on me.

“Rem…” He trailed off, shaking his head, yet his grip on my hand was firm.

“Please, dance with me?” I simpered, prompting his cheeks to get rosy.

“Fine.” He sighed, allowing me to lead him towards the fun.

However, before joining, he tugged me towards him as I landed against his chest. Leaning down to my ear, he pressed his lips against them.

“Just know, I won’t let you sleep tonight for this.” He warned as my eyes darted to meet with his gaze.

Even though my cheeks felt like they wanted to fall off, spending the nights under him had become my new norm by then.

“Is that a promise?” I breathed as he cupped my right cheek in his palm.

“Mhm,” He closed the gap between us as a short kiss ensued, only to be interrupted by the celebrations of everyone around us.

“Woah! You two should get married! Oh, I remember meeting my husband and being young like you two!” A kind older woman who had let us stay in her inn announced.

My heart fluttered upon the idea finding its way into my mind.

M-Marriage?! That’s—

That thought quickly died when I saw how Alijah avoided my gaze, focusing on the ones chattering.

Ah… Right… That isn’t for us.

“That’s a bit too soon. It’s only been a couple of months since we met.” He shut down the idea as an elf shrugged.

“Well, let me tell you that chemistry between two people doesn’t come often!” Another elf chuckled as I buried my face in my wolf’s chest.

It hurts. Ah… how long has it been since you started pretending to be my lover? I almost forgot that you…

“I—” My wolf started, only for me to tug on his hand.

“Enough of that! Let’s boogie!” I declared, ending the conversation there.

Unlike before, Alijah let me guide him towards the crowd, where we were lost within the bodies moving to a rhythm. No one cared that he didn’t know how to dance, something he realized as many of them weren’t professionals either.

Even so, I led him through most of it, as this was a hobby of mine. This happened in the couple of months we spent in Niamoor, yet this wolf started to change from before then. A month into our journey, he stopped braiding his hair like he used to, instead tying it back like he loved to do mine.

He still used the same cloth, though.

Thankfully, after Wyatt, I was more careful about whom to trust. After all, I had to keep us safe without having to do crazy things. Luckily, we met many pleasant people who fed us and gave us places to visit, like the old lady who wanted to lock us together in life.

Once we had had enough of Niamoor, we went to Zent, Blaze Elf Nation, where we traveled through mountainous volcanos and saw drakes in our path through the continent. However, our latest venture to the lava rivers almost ended with my face planting it into the molten ground below.

I would've been explosive if it hadn’t been for Alijah being close to me to catch me by my shirt.

Literally…

Though it was my fault for not listening to the boat's safety protocols, my wolf and the crew gave me an earful that night.

Though, as Alijah put it to others, “She’s too stupid to understand the danger of falling into fucking lava.”

I honestly couldn’t argue with him about that. After all, I was in a place I shouldn’t have been, and worse, I didn’t care for the heat I felt, which should’ve alerted me to stay within the barrier set by the elves, but I was too focused to see the rare sight of blue lava. Thankfully, my partner was always vigilant of me since it was typical of me to do brainless things.

It was almost like I had tunnel vision, focusing on one thing yet forgetting the impending doom that could be the consequence of my actions. However, when we returned to our room in an inn, Alijah dropped on the bed with his hands covering his face.

I froze for a moment, thinking he’d yell at me, but when his body started to tremble, I couldn’t help but approach him.

“I know that was bad of me, but I’m okay.” I simpered, triggering him to shake his head.

“You’re so stupid, Rem.” He growled, scowling at me.

“Ah… I…” I shifted my gaze away as a sharp sigh left his lips.

“Just come here, please.” He reached for me as I dove him, snuggling myself onto his chest.

“Alijah…” I mumbled, prompting him to caress my hair.

“For tonight, just stay here with me.” He breathed, holding me close.

“Mhm,” I cuddled myself into his embrace, where he held me until we both drifted into a slumber.

A soft hum left my lips as I rolled on the bed, waiting for my wolf, who had stepped out to shower. We were in a hot spring inn in Zent, near a volcano, and I had planned to have a romantic moment with him in our room's spring.

Maybe that’ll cheer you up after yesterday's spectacle.

I had already washed my body while he was doing the same a few meters away. However, the distance was enough for me to hear a few ghosts floating by the spring nearby.

Hey, have you heard? Witches are trying to summon someone back from the dead. A ghost gossiped, catching my full attention.

What…? Can it be… No… just…

All I had to do was disregard to continue in my blissful façade, but I had promised my beloved I would bring her to him. I also needed to be freed from the curse the witch had done, which was a ticking time bomb. Wincing, I clasp onto my chest, shifting my gaze towards the door where Alijah was.

It can be anyone trying to perform a resurrection incantation. Yeah, that’s right. It doesn’t mean anything.

My glance quickly darted back towards the ghosts.

They’ve been trying for months now, no? Another one commented.

Ah… for you to feel it here, it must be someone powerful.

Even though my chest felt heavy, I stood up from where I was, heading closer to them.

I… made a promise I don’t want to keep anymore.

Yes, they have been. Honestly, it’s disturbing all of us. The dead should always stay dead. The first orb continued to chatter.

Hah… I can’t agree more, but she must return to you. She is your happiness. After all, six months can’t compare to the six thousand years you’ve spent in love with her. I’m not marriage material, either.

Stings rose in my chest as I bit my lip.

You said that two months ago… Hah, it hurts Alijah. It hurts so much!

It's kind of like what happened all those years ago. Fifteen years ago, now isn't it? The orb mumbled.

Yes, I fear evil is brewing again. They continued to converse, unaware I stood behind them.

"I need you to tell me where you sense that." I kicked myself into their conversation, triggering the other orbs to appear around me.

I was away from Alijah's field of energy. It was almost as if I had opened a lid of jars full of emotions, trying to hold mine in check. After all, I promised him I would take him to Lilith, and even if it killed me inside, I wouldn’t break it.

You deserve a choice, even if it isn’t me.

The spectral spheres that gathered them complained about everything I had missed to me. Although most of the information was irrelevant, each pointed toward a place I wanted to avoid.

Allora, the continent of moon elves... Damn it, it isn’t just there, but in the village of Locrium, which used to be Lilith's home before it was burned down centuries ago.

It wasn’t long before I stepped back into Alijah's reach, overwhelmed by all the information. My eyes stung as it was hard to hold back the tears that wanted to spill out of me, but somehow, I managed to keep them at bay.

It’s time to let you go, my love.

My body trembled as I put on a front. I had to ensure I was fine when he came out of the bathroom.

Soon, you’ll unite with who you love, just one more night… That’s all I ask. Please, just a moment more.

Throwing myself onto the bed, I grabbed my bag, from which I pulled a journal I had bought in Niamoor. It was similar to the one I had kept when I was younger. I had planned to attack Alijah when he came out of the bathroom.

From there, we would’ve taken our dip in the hot spring, but it seemed like it would be more than that.

These will be the last few moments we have together.

Closing my eyes, I held the book close to my chest.

I’ll pour all my love into you so I have nothing else left to give when you vanish.

My hand trembled with each word I wrote on the pages, trying to calm myself.

A front... Please… let me hide it all for now. I... want these last few hours to be a paradise within the bliss we’re already in. Well, that I’m in. Your genuine happiness will start soon.

After one more night of pleasure, we would head to Allora in an airship to save the love of Alijah's life. Hopefully, I could reunite the two star-struck lovers who had been so abruptly separated. At the end of this final chapter, I wrote about us and drew a gardenia with one of my many notes.

Like... you’ll ever see this...

Dear Alijah,

Did you also know that a gardenia has another meaning? You probably didn’t think about it so deeply when you gave me this gift. Right? It means joy but also represents a secret love between two people.

You’ve brought me so much joy these months, but I don’t think you’ll know how much it truly was. I always kept so much from you, mostly about my life before I met you, but even so, I love you.

I’ll always love you. This will always be a secret love, too, huh? Your gift was more meaningful than what you expected. Even so, I’ll let you go to your true love, but before that happens, I’ll love you as you’ve never been loved one last time.

So, maybe you’ll remember me and perhaps dream of me, as I dream of you from time to time. I’ll love you always and forever, my grumpy old wolf.

I closed the book and threw it back into the bag, glancing outside to see the moon gracing us with its presence. I was never the main character of this story.

No, I’m a placeholder for Lilith. Perhaps something more than a fuck to Alijah, but that’s all I’ll ever be.

It had been six months of bliss. It was almost time for the story to shift to the real protagonist of this tale, a tale in which Alijah would be the happiest he would ever be and where I would fall into the shadows, forgotten by him in every sense of the word.

Soon, the mad Lycan’s actual intentions would surface, and they would leave me behind. I was nothing to him but the owner of the leash that held him away from the world—something I should have never forgotten.

Chapter Text

The moment Alijah emerged from his shower, I pushed every negative emotion down into the abyss that was my heart. Before I knew it, I was on my feet, running to him, only to be engulfed by his arms.

My name left his lips when I drew myself up to meet with them. A passionate kiss soon followed, incited fully by me. He could barely shake the steaming shower before I was on him, as his skin was hotter because of it, leaving a pleasant feeling on my lips.

Ah... how... No, I have to. I must let go. Keep it to the plan, Rem. Tonight will be the last day for you and me.

I tugged away from my wolf, clasping my hands into his.

“Rem?” He breathed as I led him towards the private spring outside our room before I peeled off his robe.

Trailing kisses down his body, I wanted to memorize every feature he offered.

Even though we woke up together every morning, these past six months weren’t enough. I need more!

He met my affections by drawing me up to meet my lips with his before taking off my robe, triggering me to trace my hands up his chest before wrapping my arms around his neck. There, I deepened the connection we were sharing.

My tongue explored his cavity, prompting a small moan to leave his lips. However, nothing ever went to plan with my wolf. The kiss was sweet before he shoved me into the water behind me.

I splashed right into its warm embrace as I found myself under, staring at the surface. It was like a moment to breathe. However, soon, my body flared hotter than the liquid surrounding me.

Stupid… This isn’t the moment to waste time!

When I surfaced, I growled at him loudly as he chuckled, dipping his feet into the spring. His tail was slightly wagging, too. I couldn’t help but gaze at his hair, which was wet and loose from the shower.

I had always preferred him that way, no matter how majestic and appealing he was to my eyes. It didn’t change how he had just handled me.

"Why did you do that for?" I grumbled, glowering at him.

His eyes narrowed for a moment, freezing me right where I was.

Crap, do you suspect me? Or is it something else? I…

He was always keen to discover my turmoil before I knew it existed. Somehow, he knew when I was jealous, angry, or sad, but I wanted to keep it to myself this time.

Please, just one last night with you is all I want.

All I needed was closure to let him go when we saved Lilith from Edna's grip.

"Well, you tried to take a dip into a lava yesterday. So, I thought maybe water would suffice your habit of falling from places," Alijah smirked playfully, leaving me to grumble under my breath.

Oh… It’s because of yesterday’s debacle.

I was a klutz and careless, but I didn’t want our few last memories to be involved in a fight, as they were about to be.

How do I avoid… No, I just need to act like myself before you notice something wrong.

I wanted to avoid discussing the ritual and the potential of his old flame coming into the picture until I had to let go for real.

After all, this is all a rumor. How I wish it would stay like that.

"It’s fine! I’m fine. You were there to save me, Alijah-tan." I smiled, hoping he would leave it at that.

Instead of letting me lead him out of the situation, his eyes shimmered brightly as a frown formed on his lips.

Crap… Have you been thinking about it this whole time?

By now, he had gotten used to my nickname, and it barely bothered him anymore. Although every time it rolled out of my tongue, I could see his eyes twitch.

"Hah, you’re a moron. Yes, I was there, but what if I had looked away for a moment? Rem, you could’ve been..." He winced, trailing off.

Oh no… I…

I returned to him, pulling myself out of the water to sit beside him. Polished rocks surrounded the spring, making for perfect seats.

You really care for me in some way to express it like this.

Grabbing onto his hand, I tugged it to my cheek, rejoicing in this one moment that he was mine alone.

Ah... this joy… I’ll miss it soon.

"You still would’ve saved me, even in all the scenarios the dreaded ifs will bring." I simpered, prompting his crimson eyes to gloss before dropping his forehead on my shoulder.

Steadily, his arms wrapped around my waist, releasing a heavy sigh from his lips.

"I can’t lose you, Rem." Alijah breathed, voice trembling.

Those words... Ah… You probably mean them now, but they will be invalid once you see her. But… you mean them now!

This wolf didn’t want to lose me, making me euphoric.

It’s probably because of the bond, but I… I want to believe it’s because of me.

It would've been enough if I had conquered a piece of his heart.

Hey, think of me every now and then, okay?

"You’ll never lose me, Alijah," I reassured, tugging him to meet my gaze.

I knew full well that if he wanted to fuck, even after he had Lilith, I would probably gladly spread my legs for him.

What a disgusting woman I’ve become.

Probably the worst kind, but I also knew he wasn’t that type of man. No, unlike me, he would be faithful to his true love. I lost count of how many women threw themselves at him when we got to the places we visited.

They sought Lycans as lovers since they were 'great' in bed. Their stamina was outstanding compared to most other races when it came to sexual activities. The suitors seeking him didn’t have advances in romance as they sought a fling for fun.

Even though our physical relationship started because of a mistake, Alijah never once accepted any offers for a good time from anyone else. He was fully faithful to me, and that caused me to lose myself in bliss when a lady asked my wolf why he was rejecting her offer of a fun night.

His response was one to behold.

“I already have someone. A skank won’t please me as much as my girl will.” He huffed.

This happened when I grabbed bags of famous chips to munch on from a shop. Somehow, he avoided getting slapped, but the lady called him a few things back. That was in our last village, out of Niamoor.

I want that person to be me, but you probably hold me out of convenience rather than affection.

In comparison to his love for Lilith, I was a pastime. Not wanting to drown in those thoughts, I kissed him again, only for him to respond by pulling me onto his lap, leaving me to straddle him as I focused on the tango of our soft, spongy muscles.

One of his hands traveled to my crotch, making me flinch when he pinched my bell. A whine left me, allowing saliva to drip down my chin. He licked the trail up my chin until sealing my lips with his again.

Holding the back of my head, he caressed my vulva before invading my walls soon after. Mewls escaped me as he kissed me feverously, prompting my mind to muddle as always while in his arms. I wanted this moment to stop, but time waited for no one.

This will be one last memory… one last fuck… one last love. I wish to do everything I can for you on this one night I have left as your substitute lover.

His fingers sent pleasure through my body, triggering me to lean towards him. Knowing this was the last time, I felt bolder than ever before. Clasping onto his member with my hands, I stroked him for the first time since we had started.

I always tried to keep my hands to myself, but I would be selfish this night. A nervous chuckle left his lips, tugging away from our kiss as saliva dripped down his chin, darting his eyes toward where I had him.

“Rem, stroke me harder.” He breathed as I did, just as he wanted.

Even though I was clumsy, a moan left his lips, giving me a glorious reward that made me even more ballsy. His kisses had left me with barely any air to find, but how his eyes were scrunched up and his rapid breathing made me desire much more.

How I wish you’d always gaze at me like hearts are coming out of you. Ah… I want to make a mess out of you.

"Can I?" I asked, pumping him faster as his hips bucked towards me.

Alijah tilted his head, a bit confused by what I had said. A playful smile rose on his lips soon after, though. He was already guessing what I desired but wanted me to say it clearly.

"Can you what, Rem?" Alijah murmured, grabbing my hand that ravished him and eyeing me down.

From the tip of his hardened member, I could see clear liquid building up. Before I could say anything, though, he tugged his fingers out of my depth as he leaned to lick my lips. A soft gasp left me when he trailed kisses down my chin and onto my bosom.

Once there, he suckled onto my little nobs as if he were trying to milk me again. I traced my fingers over the back of his head while my back arched because of his hand trailing behind it. He wasn’t giving me a break to collect my thoughts.

I could feel his fangs graze the skin of my breast with every suction from his lips. However, the sensation of his saliva on them was much more alluring. Even though they were sharp, he never sunk them into me as he had done in Wyatt's cabin.

Is that only reserved for Lilith?

It was a stupid thought, as she couldn’t heal like me. No matter what popped into my mind, it didn’t stop the desire to be marked by him, but that was something I wouldn’t ask him to do. No, I sought to do something else this time, but nothing would stop me.

“Alijah, can I make love to you?”

Chapter Text

Since we got to Zent, I have wanted to do something, but I thought Alijah wouldn’t like it, so I held off. Well, until…

"Alijah, can I make love to you?" I panted, out of breath, trying to hold every negative emotion down, but it was hard.

His ears perked up when he heard my question, and he quickly met my gaze with a soft smile.  However, what caught my attention was his tail wagging. That was when I noticed what I had labeled us fucking as lovemaking.

I…

Nerves rose within me when he licked his bottom lip, "I would like that a lot, but..." he trailed off, cheeks rosy.

He traced his fingers on my vulva again, picking up the lubricant that spilled out of me before grabbing his heat from my hands. He traced his moist fingers on his tip, smothering it with my wetness as another soft smile rose on his lips, capturing my heart.

Jitters erupted from me when I felt him softly rubbing his heat on my entrance.

“Ali—” I whined before throwing myself to kiss his lips.

His fingers had left everything sensitive as he didn’t stop rubbing himself on my bell and down my slits while locking his tongue with mine. After a short burst of affection, he tugged away from my lips slightly to gaze at me with those vibrant crimson eyes of his.

"Rem,” Alijah breathed, cupping my cheek with his free hand. “You don’t have to ask for my permission. Just shove it into yourself whenever you want it." He smirked, pushing the tip into my walls in the form of a tease.

Ah… That’s like how I…

In an instant, I took his invitation, pressing myself on him as his full length went into me. The sudden feeling of being filled triggered me to hug him, prompting him to moan into my ear.

"Such a good girl. Responding so fast," he murmured, tugging my face to meet him before clashing his lips against mine.

Unable to hold still, I swayed my hips clumsily, but he didn’t mind. Instead of complaining about my inexperience, he leaned back a bit, separating from the kiss for a better view.

“Gods, you take me in so well. Just look at you devouring me.” He breathed, gripping onto my breast as mewls left me.

My wolf released moans there to ensure I knew he loved every minute. Soft noises were coming from where we were connected to. It was almost too naughty to bear, yet my hips continued to search for more.

Usually, all I heard was the slapping of our skins and voices, but in this case, it was something else.

I’m in control. More! I want all of it!

My wolf’s tail curled around my back for better support. While caressing my breast with one of his hands, he held himself up with his other. Hearing his hoarse voice excited me more as the desire to dominate him increased with each sway of my hips.

However, the moment that thought formed in my head, I felt a snap, allowing a floodgate of insecurities to flow open.

Just how many did this to you while you… Damn it, do I bring you no bad memories? Ah… This is a mistake to be on you like this. I…

I didn’t know what my expression became, but Alijah suddenly grabbed onto my face, stopping me in my tracks.

Crap, did I do... something wrong?

"Stop it, Rem. I don’t know what you’re thinking, but end it." He sighed, kissing me lightly on my lips.

My eyes jolted open as this wolf was too cunning for me.

"What?" I mumbled.

Grabbing onto my hips, he yanked me closer to him so our skins were touching without a single centimeter of space between them. It was too warm. His embrace was too much for me, and I was melting.

"You’re like an open book, Rem." Alijah chuckled, nuzzling his nose into mine.

This… all of this… is it genuine? No… you have a choice to make. I can’t take away your freedom. Face it… after tonight, this love will probably not survive it.

"You’re the best thing I’ve had in my life. So, stop thinking of anyone else when you’re with me." He purred lovingly, holding me in place with one of his hands.

Using the other one to hold on to the back of my head, his lips hovered over mine so temptingly that I didn’t know how I held myself off him. His words were breaking through me, though.

Are they true? No… that’s the wrong question. Will they remain valid when you see her? No... No, they won’t. Our short time together will never replace theirs. Shit! Try to keep it together, Rem. I can’t let you fill me with any more false hope.

This is all a moment…

"Are you sure you don’t read minds?" I asked, voice shaking.

My wolf rolled his eyes, pushing me onto the ground next to the spring. A second later, he was kissing my neck, trailing down to my chest. Once again, he made me squeal under him as he suckled on my breast like there was no tomorrow before tugging away and sighing.

"I can’t read your mind, but I can read you. Something has been bothering you since I got out of the shower, and you aren’t telling me straight. So, let me know what silly thing is on your mind now. I want to put it to rest." Alijah finally confronted me, tugging my chin to face him.

Ah… Clever wolf…

This didn’t mean he would stop midway through. After those words left his lips, he thrust himself into me roughly. It was almost too much for me to bear. He always held me so animalistic, but it was also adoring.

It was almost as if he wanted me to forget whatever bothered me while I was in his arms. The familiar sound of the slapping of our skin filled the air as it filled along with the squelching of our union. I would usually melt soon after he started, but this time, I feared he’d stop holding me once he knew.

Selfish... like always… I know I’m horrible, but you will run to her tonight if I say anything!

"I-I don’t—want you to know." I tried to say between mewls.

Alijah halted his movements, tracing his thumb on my lips. Sweat dripped down his chin and onto my skin, as I shivered under him.

"That serious?" He panted for air, narrowing his eyes.

No… don’t stop!

I tried to hold back the tears that were stinging my eyes. This wasn’t how I wanted this night to end. I wanted him to fuck me silly until the sun rose. By then, the airships would reopen for the day, too.

I had never begged him for anything since this journey began, but I would break that rule for our last day together.

"Please... hold me until morning. Please?" I begged, holding onto his arms.

Alijah's facial expression changed as his brows scrunched up, tilting his head. His gaze darted to every corner of me, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Why are you like this?" He questioned, shaking his head.

The tears I was trying to hold back rolled down my cheeks as his eyes opened wide.

I only want one more night with you as your lover. Please Alijah!

My heart stung worse than any of the other times.

This marks the end of our relationship. Did I show you enough? Do you know how much I love you?

Aunty Amelia had once said that it was the worst pain she had ever felt, but she also alleged it was for the best. After all, he ruined their union by bringing another woman into their bed, but in this case, I was the other woman.

Why... can’t it be me? Hey... Alijah... choose me when the time comes. Please? I don't know what I’ll do with myself if you don't, but… I won’t force you to choose me either.

"Please, think about only me tonight." I doubled down, not wanting to tell him anything, reaching to touch his warm cheek.

Though it was agonizing to even think of letting go. I didn’t want to know how it would feel once he was gone.

I’ll probably be dead inside. Is that how my aunt felt? Ah... You could just kill me if I order it. If only... I could die without hurting you. Ah… there’s a way. If you… please don’t leave a single piece of me to regenerate.

"I’m thinking only about you. Why won't you tell me what’s wrong? Is it because I pushed you into the water? I..." Alijah's voice broke.

This was the first time I had ever behaved like this, but I couldn’t stop the agony from gushing out of me. He had poked through the crack, and I had shattered.

Ah… You are a fantastic actor. It seems like you care about me, but all facades end, and these lies will stop soon, but not before I feel you one last time—my payment for helping you heal.

"Please, hold me, Alijah! Don’t stop!" I sobbed, prompting his ears to slant back.

“Fine,” He breathed, thrusting into me again.

Ah… I’m a wicked woman. Damn it, I’m disgusting for keeping the truth from you. If I told you about it, we would’ve made it to the last airship for the night. Is it so bad to want a final moment for love one last time?

After all, Lilith would have him for an eternity after me. I was probably the most appalling woman who ever lived—wicked, ugly, and hateful.

I don’t have one pure bone in my body.

Mewls soon erupted from me as he kept his pace going, holding me closer to his chest.

“You better tell me everything later," Alijah growled, prompting me to grip him tighter.

Oh... if you only knew everything I’m concealing, you’d probably never want to hold me again.

Much to his word, he fucked me silly as I desired. With each moment that passed, I tried to burn it to memory: every feature, every inch of him. However, unlike other times, my heart shattered into a million pieces as his determination to please me only brought anguish.

Your warmth, your touch… It’s all poisonous to me.

Yet, I…

“Harder! Give me more!” I begged, pushing myself to kiss him.

As I had demanded, he tried to give me everything I requested. At one point, I told Alijah that I loved him until my voice became hoarse from crying and moaning.

“Please, don’t cry, Rem.” He breathed, keeping his movements steady as they brought me the only joy I felt tonight.

After finding my release more than once, this wolf had hoped I would’ve calmed down, but I didn’t. He stared at me momentarily as words refused to leave him. After all, before he left the room, I was excited to spend the night with him in the spring, but it had all become twisted.

I slowly reached for his face, tracing my fingers on his cheek.

Will this be the last thing you remember of me? How pathetic can you be, Rem?

"I love you, Alijah, so much!" I repeated, voice hoarse.

He stared at me, like watching his world falling apart before wincing.

"Stupid, I love you too. Please stop crying, " he whispered, licking my cheek before kissing me in the hopes that it would calm me.

Although I welcomed his affection, his words left me feeling hollow.

Ah... I forced you to say words you didn’t want to say. What a horrible person I am. I’m so sorry, Alijah. Please forgive me!

Instead of saying anything else, I focused on our bittersweet tango before he moved rougher. He didn’t intend to leave me any time to think about useless things.

My sweet wolf...

Sweat, saliva, and every other liquid from our bodies dripped from us.

Well, all but blood.

My mewls filled the air while he fucked me silly. It wasn’t long before I lost myself as my body twitched under him. Filling me to the brim, he erupted within me as I clung to him dearly, humming before releasing him as every fiber felt electrified.

Soft groans left Alijah as he shifted his weight while I panted for air desperately.

“Let’s take this to the bed.” He breathed, picking me up before dropping me on the soft sheets and fucking me silly there.

The wooden frame creaked under us as I filled myself with the wolf before me.

Nothing else matters. This is everything to me.

By the time the morning came, I had found myself curled up in his arms, unsure of when I had lost consciousness. For a moment, I wanted everything to have been a dream, but the headache clarified that it hadn’t been a nightmare.

I felt sluggish about moving after the passionate night I had lived through. This wolf hadn’t gone easy on me. If he had bitten me, I would’ve bruised from how rough he was with me. Slowly, I wiggled my way out of his arms without waking him.

Luckily, I got up earlier than I had hoped.

The airship docks are about to open. I… need to…

Chapter Text

When I went to pick up the phone at the inn, my name left Alijah's lips as he tried to tug me back into his arms. Unable to stop him from doing so, I brought the phone into the bed with me. When he noticed it, he glanced at me, scrunching his eyes again as I dialed a number on the pad.

"What are you doing?" he asked as I placed the phone in my ear and turned away.

Luckily, the airship line answered quickly enough not to give him a chance to take it away.

"Oi..." Alijah mumbled, hovering over me.

Shaking my head, I stood up from the bed and asked, “Can I have all the airline information available today?”

This was a small village, and it only had space for two to three airships. Fortunately, when they gave me the list of crafts leaving, a ship departed soon for Allora.

Crap, it’s headed to the capital Orarios… No, it doesn’t matter; nothing will stop me.

“I see, thank you. I’ll be passing by there soon.” I bid farewell before hanging up.

We usually traveled everywhere on foot because it was easier to go undetected that way. However, Allora was separated from the rest of the nations by an ocean, one we couldn’t cross by land.

One airship won’t be world-ending for us.

We had to bribe the officers there, but that wasn’t something gold coins wouldn’t buy. I turned to Alijah, who wasn’t amused by everything happening.

"Rem! What the fuck are you doing?" He growled, eyes twitching.

“You… won’t understand.” I shifted my gaze away from him before heading to get my clothes, only for him to grab my hand.

Don’t make this any more complicated than it already is!

I wanted to scream at him, but if I allowed any emotion out. There was no doubt I would break.

"Rem, tell me what is going on.” He demanded as I took a deep breath and turned to him again.

I don’t want you to know. Not until you must know.

I probably should’ve told him, but I desired him for myself for a bit longer.

"Because we’re going somewhere important—something’s waiting for us there, and we must go fetch it, Ali," I answered, feeling empty inside.

I wasn’t ready for our separation, and we wouldn’t split up right after they met. Instead, I would become a supporting character for them.

Awkward…

After they were reunited, we had to travel to Silverant to get Vera to help me break the bond. Sadly, I couldn’t do it alone.

Argh! I didn’t think this through, but I never thought I would’ve had a taste of you.

Thankfully, I had prepared for that moment before I even got on the airship the day I met Alijah. I never thought I would have...

Right... This was never supposed to happen. I was never supposed to have a taste of you. Harden... Harden up, heart, please! For your happiness, everything must go, including me!

"What are you talking about, Rem? What the fuck is going on?" He cocked his head, scowling at me.

Last night didn’t help. Does it?

"Look, I’m sorry about last night. Maybe I’m getting my period soon." I brushed off as I tugged away from him and dressed for our trip.

An obvious lie. Though you wouldn’t know, you haven’t been there all my life to know.

"Everything will be clear once we get to our destination," I added, closing my heart to him.

This time, I wouldn’t break, not until we got there. Usually, I would shower when we spent our days in an inn. After all, we didn’t know the last time when we would see another one, yet I didn’t want to wash any part of him off me.

His warmth still lingered in every centimeter of me, and I wanted to keep it there until I couldn’t.

"Rem, where are we going?" Alijah queried, taking a step towards me.

Evidently, he didn't trust a word that left my mouth for the first time since the campfire that changed our relationship. Perhaps he had caught a few feelings for me, but it wouldn’t matter when he saw Lilith.

Those emotions will melt the moment you lay eyes on her. I can’t forget. I won’t forget.

When he said he loved me, it would replay in my memories until I finally stopped breathing. I could already picture the moment everything ended for us—the moment Lilith ran into Alijah's arms while he held them open for her.

The bliss in your eyes…

My heart would break into a million pieces then, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

For your happiness, I’ll shatter it myself. For our vow… I’ll…

"You’ll see. I’m just keeping my promise to you. That’s all." I tried to reassure my troubled wolf.

"What? A promise? You wouldn’t be crying if it were something like that. No, I dislike this, Rem. Every instinct is telling me to keep you here with me." He growled.

Crap… I need to get my act together.

"Everything will be fine. You’ll be happier than you’ve ever been when we get there. Trust me, I haven’t hurt you yet. Have I?" I simpered, trying to hide all the ugliness inside.

All that mattered was getting him to Allora and reuniting him with his beloved.

Hopefully, we can save her before Edna's magic corrupts her. If that’s possible... We never figured out what the witch wanted with the elf.

"Rem," he called, grabbing onto my chin.

Gathering the courage, I faced him head-on. I was glad I brightened his life, even if it was a little, which meant my time with him hadn’t been in vain.

Perhaps you’ve changed or are simply tolerating me all these months. Either way, you’re my everything. Because of that, you’ll have everything you ever wanted.

I smiled before tugging myself to meet his lips. It reminded me of the night I bonded with him.

The night I made you my captive. Soon, we both will have our freedom. I love you... It’s time to set you free.

When my lips touched him, he quickly deepened the kiss as I wouldn’t allow him to sway me. I drew away from him, pressing my hands on his chest.

"Get dressed. Our flight leaves in an hour," I announced, tugging away to get ready.

Alijah stared at me for a few moments before reluctantly getting ready. He knew once I had something in mind, nothing would change it. Checking out of the inn was a breeze, and getting to the airship wasn’t a hassle.

Luckily, blaze elves were too hot-tempered to care about anything else than their engines running. Then again, it had been six months, and everyone had already forgotten or cared little about Alijah’s wanted pictures.

Sometimes, hiding in plain sight is better.

Zent was a fiery place to travel in, especially if we didn’t have unique elven-chanted jewels to travel to. Even walking on the streets of a small village was like walking in a boiling sun. Every building was red or black based on how hot the metal had burned.

Unlike other places, their houses were made with a special metal called etantil, which was enchanted to resist heat. They even made the inn we rented of it. Luckily, I had purchased some of those accessories before I left Silverant.

So, when we got to Zent’s border, it wasn’t an issue to travel on it.

I still remember when they got home, Caden had asked me why I had brought them.

“For fashion, duh!” I blurted out as he rolled his eyes at me.

“If you say so, sis.” He shook his head, grabbing the bag next to the table.

“Oh, mind your own business!” I huffed, grumpily going back to my room.

Everyone thought I was brainless, and I was, but I also knew how to slip through the cracks. I had planned to travel the entire world with Alijah, but that would be a wish that wouldn’t be fully accomplished.

Ah… Our end will be Celestelia, Zent, Azear, Niamoor, and Allora. I guess Celnaer, Arthion, and Raman will have to wait until… If it ever happens. Pity…

Lyari was somewhere we could have never traveled together while being fugitives, though.

Heck, even Raman might’ve been impossible, too. Those sun elves are too stuck up.

Though Celnaer and Arthion, we could’ve gotten away with those.

Crap… There is so much I want to do with you, but I guess you’ll have your pick soon, Alijah.

We got on a civilian ship, which meant no Cerberus officers were on board, especially since it was a tiny village in Zent. Once on it, though, Alijah couldn’t keep his eyes off everything. It was fascinating initially, but it quickly grew too loud for him to handle.

I had to buy him Lycan earplugs for the trip. The loud noises from the airship were overwhelming to someone like him, who had never lived in our modern era. The entire trip was relatively quick—only four hours in the air—but he spent the whole time snuggled up against me, trying to concentrate on the sound of my heart rather than the machinery.

Not that I didn’t enjoy every moment of having Alijah cling to me so desperately, but it was saddening to see him like that. The big bad wolf everyone was terrified of appeared to be a small child. This would be yet another memory I could store in my mind.

They conceptualized machinery like this in his era, but the elves made the first airship only two thousand years ago, making this a completely new thing for him. Walking everywhere had saved him from this experience, but it was a must this time.

All I could do was gently caress his hair, trying to keep him from attempting to destroy the ship. Thankfully, he stayed calm until it came time to get off the boat. The moment he saw where we were, he instantly recognized it.

We had arrived in Allora's central city, Oraios, which was only a few hours away from our primary destination. In the middle of the town, a giant ancient white tree marked this as moon-elven territory.

The houses all had the same ghastly, purple appearance. They loved to build their homes of clay here, but they would paint them white. The only colors that showed were purple stripes in some of them and the ribbons that made up part of their lighting.

That was all we could see from the ship, though.

“We have to go.” Alijah huffed, taking a step into the ship.

“What?” I mumbled, reaching for it.

“We shouldn’t be here.” He growled, eyes shimmering.

Retrieving my hand, I shifted my gaze away.

“Fine. You can stay here. I can go by myself.” I sighed, turning away from him and exiting the aircraft.

“Wait, Rem!” He tried to get me to pivot around, but I continued steadily on my path.

This is all for you! Why are you being like this? Let me help you!

As I didn’t stop, he rushed after me, and I didn’t stop until we were on the outskirts of the main town.

“Rem!” Alijah called out for me as I turned towards him.

“Oh? So you decided to come after all.” I huffed, fixing my hair after the sprint I embarked on.

“Enough, let’s get out of here now.” He grabbed my hand, only for me to pull it away.

“No, shift, I have to go somewhere important.” I sighed, shaking my head.

“What?” He breathed, picking up my chin as I winced.

“Please! Alijah, just listen to me!” I pleaded, trying not to break.

Luckily, we weren’t alone as presences made themselves known.

“Is that a lover’s quarrel?” A moon elf asked, poking their head out of the building nearby.

“I don’t know. I saw him chasing the Luma, so I thought it would be a fight.” Another commented, prompting Alijah to scowl at them.

“Fine.” His voice grew cold.

Thank the gods.

A soft sigh left me as he shifted before I mounted him. However, this wolf had other plans as he took off before I could take out our map. It was almost as if a switch had flipped on him. There wasn’t anything to stop the incoming confrontation from happening.

Chapter Text

A second later, I found myself in an unknown white forest surrounded by unfamiliar scenery. Alijah suddenly shifted, causing me to fall onto the grass below, leaving my bum aching. After what happened in the town, he wanted to avoid prying eyes and ears to talk.

"Why did you do that?!" I growled, sore from the shortfall he had caused me to endure.

Though, the moment I saw his expression. I stopped in my tracks. The affection I had become used to in the past months was gone. A faint red aura radiated from his body as his expression sent shivers down my spine.

"What the fuck are we doing here, Ren?!" He demanded, slamming his fist into a tree next to us, shattering it on impact.

He was finished with my evasiveness of his questions, yet my heart felt like it was about to be torn apart any second. One would think I was terrified of the angered wolf before me, but no, he didn’t scare me even when he glared at me with those crimson eyes.

Had I deceived you by taking you to where your story with her ended?

However, there was going to be a new beginning for them there. I had to say it.

It’s over, Rem. Time to come clean... but not with one last try to save any second I have with you. God… I should’ve kissed you when we were on the ship. Now, it will be… impossible. Once you know I took an entire day that we could’ve been saving her, you’ll…

"Let’s just get to Locrium. Everything will be..." I tried to reassure Alijah, but he wouldn’t let me.

My punishment awaited me. However, with the name that had come from me, Alijah wanted nothing more to do with it. His expression told me everything, shattering me right where I was.

Those hurt feelings from your past are still present. Your love for me was never real. Ah... It’s over for me. Did I give enough? Did I show you everything I have to offer? Was it enough? It’s not enough... I still have much more! But… there is no more time.

A hole in my chest was surging open with nothing to stop it.

"Locrium!?!? Hah... You’re testing me, Rem! Don’t test me! Do you even know what you’re fucking saying?!" Alijah snapped, prompting the hue from his body to grow thicker.

Ah… There won’t be a better place than to end us here. If I do, you won’t have any reservations when you see her, not that I matter enough for that. So that there are no ifs. Those will hurt more.

Closing my eyes, I clasped onto my chest. Everything around me turned bitterly cold as my feet felt like I was sinking into the ground below.

"I know what I’m saying! Why would I ever want to test you?" I argued, body shaking.

My words caused Alijah's crimson eyes to narrow upon hearing me. It wasn’t only my body but also my voice quivering. The whiteness of the trees complemented the green grass below as the winds picked up any white leaves that had fallen off.

What a beautiful place to have my heart broken. Crap... Keep it together, Rem. You never loved me. You didn’t mean a thing of what you said last night! That’s right… I forced you to say it.

"Do you still want to kill me, Alijah?" I asked, facing him straight on.

"What the fuck are you saying?" He muttered, shaking his head. “I’d—"

The facade had to begin and end. For both our freedoms, I had to remain strong.

It’s time to give Lilith the piece I won, as promised.

"Your expression makes me believe you want to hurt me, or worse," I answered, voice running cold.

Bottle everything in, don’t let a single thing out! This is nothing! You promised him this! You have to deliver, Rem! You can’t be like anyone else who never gave him a choice!

I clenched my hands into fists, slowly rising from the floor. It was a lie. His expression showed pain and anger, but I needed to believe otherwise. I had to fool myself before my heart shattered into pieces I could never pick up.

Alijah, you will never pick me over your six-thousand-year-old lover.

"Go on then... do it. It’s what you wanted, no? To kill me and be free of the bond. To be free of your leash. That’s the only reason you held me, right?! To fool me into thinking…" I trailed off, not wanting to finish that.

“Rem, no, I—” He started, only for me to stop him.

All of my insecurities were spilling out of me, though. Everything I knew would make Alijah regret meeting me.

"T-Tell me, why did you play along with my feelings for these past months? Was it because you cared for me? Or because I’m Mom's daughter? A fucking charity?" I asked point-blank, fearing his answer.

Damn it, why doesn’t my voice stop shaking?

“What? Rem, of course, I—” He stopped as his eyes widened upon spotting something on me.

A throbbing agony suddenly rushed through my body as I tried to hide it, yet it snapped me away from what he was saying as I released a slow gasp.

Why does everything have to be so painful? What you say doesn’t matter... because it’ll all change when you see her. Everything will change. Those arms will no longer be mine. No, they never were!

“Rem,” Alijah grabbed onto my shoulders as I clasped onto my head.

"Well, if you won’t kill me, then…” I trailed off, yanking myself away from him.

That was when I noticed my body was emanating the same black aura from before when I was possessed.

Ah... Am I angry? Like the time I hurt... No… it feels different.

I hadn’t noticed, but the pain was hiding the anger that was surging within me, allowing the beast within me to grasp at me. My gaze darted around as I felt a presence nearby—one I had never felt before.

It was almost as if my body was leading me to the source of what caused this abomination. Mom always said spells knew when their principal source was nearby.

So... I’m right. Edna’s trying to bring Lilith to life.

"She’s here," I muttered, clasping my hands into fists.

My blood lust…

The beast was going out of control, leaving me wanting to tear Alijah apart.

Just like when... Crap... I can't let that happen. There is no focus on Edna. She’s the one you want to kill!

Sadly, once it started, it was hard to contain.

"Who?" Alijah peered around, unable to find anyone else around us.

A soft cackle left me, realizing where I could quench the thirst trickling out of control.

Why fight it when you’re near here?

"Edna. I can feel her essence." I answered, biting my lip hard enough to make it bleed.

My freedom was also in my sight. Everything had fallen perfectly into place. I would lose my love, but at least I would have autonomy. Instinctively, Alijah grabbed onto my chin, drawing me to face him upon smelling the blood coming from my lip.

"Okay, nope. Enough, let’s go back to—" I interrupted him by throwing myself at him and kissing him.

It caused my blood to smudge on his lips as his tongue tangoed with mine briefly before I tugged away, admiring how red matched this black wolf ever so perfectly.

How I wish I were born in your time. Perhaps our story would’ve been different, Ali.

"This means Lilith’s waiting for you to save her. Will you run away from her?" I whispered, trailing my fingertips on his lip.

It almost felt freeing to say all those things without feeling the sting in my chest. The curse had taken hold of me, leaving me numb to anything I did. In this state, I hurt someone precious to me before.

All without caring… you don’t know, little wolf.

"Lilith?" he mumbled, shaking his head.

“Yes,” I smirked as he cupped my cheeks.

"No, she’s irrelevant. Let’s go away from here, Rem." Alijah declared, eyes fully dilated.

Ah… More empty words. You’re just trying to protect the bond. If only you knew my death would free you from everything! If only it were permanent.

"Because of the link between us? Oh, Alijah, nothing will happen to you if I die. Do you think I would doom the man I love with my death? All you’ll feel is a tug in your heart if you care for me a bit, but that’ll be filled with Lilith long before I’m gone." I smiled, licking the blood off his lip.

A sharp growl left his lips as he grabbed the back of my hair, pulling it enough to expose my neck to him.

"There isn’t an ounce of truth in what you are saying. Rem, you’re not yourself. Come back to me, please. I won't scream at you anymore." Alijah tried to keep me still.

I licked my lip and smirked, exhilarated by his reaction towards me. It was almost addictive to see him on his toes around me. He was cautious but not afraid of me, which was intriguing.

Do you think my love for you will keep you in one piece? Oh, love… I ripped into someone I loved way before I knew about you!

"I’m not myself? Oh... then I’ll be better than ever when I have that witch's blood quenching my thirst! " I snickered, tugging my hair slightly free.

His grip on it was soft enough for me to find my release easily. He didn’t want to hurt me, even after I gave him my permission to do so.

Pathetic… The bond won’t do anything to you! Why won’t you believe me?!

"I won’t let you do that, Rem." Alijah tried to fight back, prompting me to giggle.

"Oh, should I have a bite out of you, then?" I asked, trailing my fingers on his nape.

Tugging on his shirt, I exposed part of his shoulder.

"Go ahead if it’ll calm you." He encouraged, watching me closely.

I clicked my tongue, tugging away, “Where is the earlier bravado? You were so scary before. Why not now?”

“That was a mistake. I allowed my temper to get a hold of me.” He huffed, not budging from where he was.

I wanted to shatter him like he was about to break me. However, that was a momentary emotion that I would regret.

No, I want you to be happy. That’s… Argh!

Perhaps that was why the curse wasn’t going fully haywire yet numbed me.

"Sadly, you have no choice in this, my beloved. Did you forget who holds the reins in this partnership?" I questioned, smirking.

My words caused Alijah to glare at me, “Rem, don’t.”

"I shall have my freedom, and you’ll have—" I stopped myself before smiling bitterly.

It still stung, even in this state, but it was for the best.

"Please, don't." Alijah pleaded with me by pressing his forehead against mine.

You’re like this because it will be dangerous, and you don’t know if Lilith’s soul will be there.

"No, it’s time to cross that bridge. You’ll shift and take me to Locrium.” I ordered, ignoring his pleas.

He winced, stepping away from me before shifting on command as I hopped onto his back soon after. Lilith’s village was never far from our destination, but thanks to my order, Alijah ran at top speed towards it from the two years he spent living there with his old flame.

He knew exactly where it was, allowing us to be there before the sun came down.

Chapter Text

With the sun coming down, we had a few hours of precious daylight to explore our destination. Edna's presence somewhat disappeared when we reached the village's entrance.

By then, my body had stopped radiating the weird aura, though it still numbed me to everything happening. I almost didn’t want to let the darkness go as it shielded me from the agony that I would’ve felt without it.

When I got off Alijah, he shifted back when I stepped toward the ruins that used to be Locrium. No traces of the fire had claimed this village, as nature had won the battle. The evergreens that were home to Allora had retaken the fallen home, as it was early magical.

My wolf’s gaze felt heavy on me as I strode into the abandoned village without looking back. Though, unlike the capital, this place didn’t have a giant tree.

Birds chirped around us as rodents and other bugs were seen around. Sadly, I was in no mood to take the scenery. After all, every word that I had said to my wolf was coming back to haunt me.

How... just how and why did I say those things? Ah… right…

Even though we were walking through dangerous territory, I only thought about what happened before arriving. It wasn’t a demon that took over me, but my negativity and the dark magic that was stuck within me because of the curse.

It’s the second time I’ve ever… Lost it like that. I might’ve made Alijah genuinely hate me.

It should’ve been good, but I was miserable. I have been living in agony since the ghost woke me from the dreamland. I should’ve been paying attention to how weird our surroundings were. No one was walking out or doing anything to stop us.

The ghost said witches were trying to bring someone back, but no one could be seen.

No, a witch or elf...

There was nothing but empty decaying buildings here. The only thing that startled me was Alijah kicking a rock right through one building. He was in an awful mood but stayed quiet instead of saying anything since he probably didn’t want to trigger me further.

His words weren’t reaching me, yet that was the least of our concerns. I could feel Edna's presence everywhere I stepped, yet there were no physical traces of her.

Have they left? Did we miss them?

Everything was fine and dandy until Alijah kicked another rock. This time, a scream came from where it went through. Instinctively, I ran towards the collapsing building while he followed, not far behind.

Whoever had been in that building had probably been crushed or trapped by the debris.

"God damn it, Alijah! You’ve crushed our only lead!" I snapped at him as he shrugged without saying another word.

Though he never took his eyes off me. I didn’t know if it was because he was cautious of me or because he was scared I would get hurt.

Probably the first option after what I had said to you.

Instead of starting another fight, I tried to dig into whoever was down in the rubble. Slowly, I pulled out clay blocks, which led to a barrier behind the wreckage.

That’s—Alijah almost killed an elf. If they rat us out, it will bring unwanted attention!

The urge to leave them there was strong, but knowing what they saw was even more critical than getting reported. Shaking my head, I focused on getting more rocks out of the way. I was so close to Edna and finding Lilith's soul that I couldn’t back down even if I became more of a criminal.

Sorry, Dad and Mom, but I can’t stop now!

"Are you okay?" I yelled down at them, hoping to get no response.

“I don’t know! This just came down on me!” A weak voice said.

“Leave them.” Alijah rolled his eyes as I couldn’t help but scowl at him.

“If you aren’t going to help, then stay quiet!” I growled, steadily removing enough rocks to reach them through the barrier.

My Lycan blood allowed me to have some magical resistance. However, pushing past it in my humanoid form bothered me somewhat. The human within me was repelled by their barrier, and I couldn’t hope to control my wolf form when I could barely keep my anger in check.

The beast was too strong for me to conquer.

"Reach out to me, and I’ll pull you up, but don’t dispel the barrier, or all the other rocks will crush you," I yelled, hoping my resistance would last long enough.

“Okay!” They voiced as I took a deep breath before reaching down towards the barrier, which instantly stung to pass through,

A soft groan left my lips as I pushed past the pain, hoping they would reach me in time.

Luckily, I felt a warm hand on my arm as I clasped onto theirs. Before I knew it, Alijah suddenly yanked me by my shirt, allowing me to lift the elf out of their predicament easily. He clicked his tongue, letting go of my shirt before moving towards the side.

The elf almost slipped from the sudden jerk, but thankfully, they emerged from the rubble relatively unscathed. At first glance, it was apparent that it was a woman as her slender body and soft hand that still clasped my arm made damn sure I knew it was one.

She wore silk white clothes with purple circles scattered around. The dirt that had fallen on them had made them slightly dirty, but otherwise, she appeared fine. A hood covered her face, preventing me from seeing her face.

She gazed down, brushing the dust that had gathered on her clothes. From how her hand appeared, I could tell her skin was tanned. Moon elves usually had greyish skin but came in tan and dark skin variants.

Luckily, when Alijah drew me, he helped me to my feet.

"Ah... Thank you so much! Who would’ve thought that building would’ve come down like that? How can I ever repay you for saving me?" The mysterious woman suddenly announced, catching me off guard.

I tried to clear my throat as I didn’t expect her to be so friendly, especially after suddenly having an old but sturdy building fall on them.

The air here is thinner than in other places. Could it be because we climbed a bit earlier?

I wasn’t paying attention when Alijah ran here. No, all I cared about was ripping into Edna, a plan that had failed miserably.

"I-It is f-fine. You’re j-just lucky we w-were passing by." I stuttered, glancing at my wolf, who appeared to have eyes fully opened as his brows rose and jaw dropped slightly.

Ah… What’s up with you?

Not wanting to deal with his nonsense, I gazed back from him and onto the woman. She slowly straightened herself but didn’t let go of my hand. A soft hum left her as she inspected my hand, which had no lingering effects of the barrier on it.

And just what are you doing?

"Actually, if you don’t mind, I-I would like to ask you something about what h-happened here. I-If you saw anything, I mean." I stumbled to say.

The woman's fingers touched my palm. They felt gentle on my skin, but somehow, they also sent shivers down my spine, which wasn't the good kind.

"Oh, I’m not the right person for that. I know little of this place anymore." The woman informed, pinching her fingers on my palm, prompting a tiny bit of my dark aura to sprout where she touched.

"What?" I stared at her, bewildered by what she was doing.

For a moment, the unknown elf cocked her head before shaking it a bit.

"You’re cursed by a powerful witch who used an elven artifact and a Lycan soul, right? I can feel the hate that went into making one." The elf suddenly announced, leaving me dumbfounded.

Just who is this woman?

"H-How did you know?" I questioned, retreating my hand out of hers as she lifted her face to meet my gaze.

By the gods, she was beautiful. Her grey eyes matched her perfectly silky lavender hair. She had purple facial tattoos, usually done for moon elves at birth. They usually had them all over their bodies, too.

She also had signature ears that were bigger than mine, who had legit ones. Usually, people would confuse me for a peredhil instead of the luma I was, unless my tail gave me away. Unless they were Lycans, my scent would give me away if that were the scenario.

However, whenever I was in a village, I had a disguise. One of the many wigs I wore was what I had today, along with my tail, which was neatly tucked away.

This woman's beauty was out of this world, though. If I were into women, I probably would’ve fallen in love with her the moment I saw her. Even though her splendor was one thing, the fact she knew about the curse freaked me out a bit.

Not only that, but why do you seem familiar? Argh… Why do you remind me of Mom?

Ryker and Amara, along with every other race of elves that tried to treat me, could only theorize that an elven artifact was used to create the curse that infected me, but they never said for certainty, as this woman did.

They also had to do intensive testing to detect it. Even Mom, the most powerful witch in the world, had a tough time attempting to see it.

"I was a medic once, long ago. Maybe some of my old techniques can help you with this as a thank you for saving me from the rubble." The elf smiled, prompting me to take a step back.

In response, she removed her hood, revealing her magnificence to everyone else.

"I doubt you can help me. Many have tried and failed." I mumbled, feeling creeped out by this woman who wasn’t normal.

Once the hood was off, the resemblance to my mother was uncanny. I took another step back only to bump into Alijah, who was stiff as a rock. My gaze shortly met with him to see he had gone pale, almost as if he had seen a ghost.

“Ali—” he didn’t let me finish his name before he spoke.

"Impossible… Lilith?" He called out to the woman, who hadn’t peeled her eyes off me until then.

What?

Shock washed through me, only to realize that it could have happened. We were late, after all.

Crap! Is this a trap?

It didn’t matter. She tore her eyes away from me when her name was mentioned before spotting him. The elf's expression changed to pure bliss, beaming a bright smile as she ran towards him before launching into him.

"Ali! You came to me! I knew you would!" The woman declared.

They left me right where I was stunned by the truth of her identity. It was almost as if my mind could barely process what was happening anymore. However, one thing for sure was the vacancy that my chest became when she touched him.

It was almost as if something had swallowed everything up. Even though this wasn’t right, something was off, and my mind couldn’t keep up.

Huh? It’s over, isn’t it?

So... I went on autopilot.

Chapter Text

Everything around me felt surreal when Lilith jumped Alijah, who appeared frozen. All I ever expected was to find a soul, not an entire living body. I could only watch as she cuddled herself into his chest before he snapped out and grabbed onto her shoulders, peeling her away from him.

All I feared was coming true, and what was worse was that Edna was still alive. I had lost my love and freedom in one swoop.

Is it too late to order you to kill me? Probably...

I couldn’t dare say so with Lilith there as it could harm her.

Can I order you to run with her after you kill me? Maybe...

In that scenario, many people would die for such selfish reasons. My gaze slumped onto the floor as I was trapped there. While I tried to adjust, Alijah’s paranoia took hold of the reigns.

"How and what are you doing here?" He questioned, narrowing his eyes.

He was probably skeptical that she was even real.

Sadly, she is.

I felt the warmth of her hands on mine, which alone confirmed that she wasn't an illusion. I could almost feel an icy grip take over my soul.

If only she weren’t here, you would be mine for one more moment.

Yet I could do nothing to hurt him.

Not in that way, at least. This sweet pain is worth it for your happiness. Right?

"I was waiting for you! I knew you would come for me, Ali!" Lilith beamed at him, who grimaced.

Having her right before him appeared too much for him to process. After all, the last time he saw her, she was in a pool of blood, and that happened six thousand years ago.

"You were dead, Lilith. You shouldn’t be here." He declared, pulling away from her.

The moment those words left his mouth, the elf clasped her hands onto her chest before around the surrounding space.

"I can tell something happened to our village. It’s almost as if time passed without me being aware of it. But you're saying I died? That’s something hard to swallow." Lilith mumbled, reaching for his hand.

Instantly, he jerked away from her.

Huh? Is it because of me? Will I cause mayhem in this, too? No, you’re probably just having a hard time processing this. I blind-sighted you, too.

This wolf needed time to adjust. All the while, I would never feel him again.

"Yes, you died six thousand years ago," He informed, taking a few steps towards where I was.

However, he never took his eyes off her, yet I refused to look at his expression.

"Oh... I died... and it hurt, didn't it?" Lilith mumbled, glancing towards the ground, shivering.

“You had your guts gouged out. So, yes, it was painful.” Alijah huffed, reaching towards me.

"My memory seems hazy. I remember feeling pain. Then everything got cold and lonely before waking up here." The elf informed, grabbing onto his arm before he could get me in his grasp.

Whatever was happening between them didn’t concern me anymore.

She’s here, and I have to back off. Focus... on something else other than them.

Fortunately, there was nothing better to do than find the witch that caused me to be imprisoned in my home. Not that I could fight her by myself, but any advantage I could see would help when I came back to my family.

"You remember anything else?" I stepped into their conversation as my voice lacked any warmth.

I couldn’t let myself break. No, that was something for when I was alone. Upon hearing me, Lilith gazed at me as I tried to act like nothing was wrong with me.

“Rem…” Alijah breathed before being tugged by the elf.

"Hm... I think there was a lady here when I woke up. After saying she would return, she told me to stay here, but I don't know where she went." The elf answered, shrugging.

Of course, you wouldn’t know a thing. That was silly of me.

I nodded, turning away from them. "I see," I mumbled, glancing in front of me.

The scenery was all too quiet. With all the white surrounding us, it was almost eerie, though the grass below was still green. All that flooded my mind was how I would get over the fact that I had lost everything.

My freedom was no closer to me, and the love of my life was gone in one swoop. I hoped to travel the world even if Alijah was gone. That kept me standing, but that dream would vanish if Edna breathed.

This is another impossible dream in the list of failures I seem to keep getting.

In the distance, I saw an orb floating away from Alijah's radius. A soft sigh left my lips as I slowly stepped towards the ghost, hoping to find more information as the elf tried to make amends with my beloved wolf.

Their bickering slowly died in the background. He struggled to pull away when she clung to his arm with her full weight. As I approached the orb, others also appeared near it.

They want to capture the Lycan and kill you by using the elf! The ghost warned me, snapping me out of my self-pity.

A trap?!

Turning towards Alijah, I tried to warn them, only for a sharp pain to erupt from my shoulder, stopping me in my tracks. The only words that left my mouth were a yelp before I could see what caused it as dark chains erupted from under me.

They separated me from Lilith and Alijah as they wrapped around my legs and arms. After being bound, I saw a small blade embedded in my shoulder, where blood pooled on my shirt. Whoever had thrown it had a lousy aim if they had been targeting my heart or head.

However, throbs soon echoed through my entire being, letting me realize they had hit their mark.

Wolfsbane? Iris?

My vision blurred as if it were the first; everyone present was about to fight for their lives, while the latter would only weaken me. Something my attackers didn’t know as my medical records were kept secret by my father.

How did they know?

Edna and her followers suspected that Fenris's hybrid daughter was involved in Alijah's disappearance. Lumas were like Lycans for poisons. However, thanks to the part I inherited from my mother, Iris barely affected me. In the sense that it didn't kill me, yet if it was wolfsbane if my stunt on the roof still held up, then everyone around would...

Well, if it’s wolfsbane, if my roof stunt still held up, everyone here will…

Whatever was in my system made me feel the first side effects. The last time Iris had been in me was when I was a Lycan, so I didn’t perceive the initial effects, and it was probably in less quantity than it was in this blade.

After all, it only took a bit to drive a Lycan insane. The raiders had used a small capsule since Iris was expensive to get, while the amount of liquid that dripped out of the weapon embedded into my shoulder enlightened me that these attackers weren’t in any shortage.

My body felt warmer as everything became hard to focus on. In my field of view, my wolf appeared to have gone missing, yet it was hard to concentrate on anything further than the length of my arm. He probably was pushed into one building by the chains with Lilith.

For a moment, I was alone on the battlefield as my breathing became unstable. Somehow, the pain that radiated from the wound was less than the void within my chest. Luckily, it wasn’t long until a figure appeared before me from a portal made of darkness.

Edna had access to magic I had never seen. Yet again, she was older than anyone else, so it was a given that she knew more about the world than I did.

My attacker stared at me, snickering when they took off their hood to reveal a blond man with deep blue eyes. He wasn’t alone, as twenty or more were accompanying him from the distance behind him.

The unknown man grabbed me by my chin, tearing off my wig as I winced in his grip. His azure gaze scornfully scowled at me, fascinating me.

I’ve never met you, but you hate me. Ah… You look at me the same way everyone outside my family back home sees me.

However, in this man's case, it was different. He didn’t gaze at me as if I were lesser than him; to him, all that mattered was…

"What a catch! I’ve seen to have caught a spawn of the bitch who almost killed me once! Maybe I’ll make you suffer, as she did to me all those years ago." The mysterious warlock huffed, grabbing onto the nice before digging it into me more.

A sharp gasp left me before I suddenly burst into laughter. He gripped me tighter instead of letting me go, drawing his face closer to mine.

"What’s so funny, mongrel?" The warlock questioned, letting go of the blade when I noticed a faint dark aura radiating from my body.

He knew nothing of what he was provoking, and I was already in a grim mood, but someone was worse than me and keen on protecting me, too. Behind the wall of chains, a crimson hue erupted from one of the houses nearby, growing bigger with each passing second.

A red aurora shone from one house, growing bigger with each second that passed.

"Oh, silly warlock, I don’t think my partner will let you do as you please," I smirked, shifting my gaze toward the radiant light.

“What?” The man followed my glance as I took a deep breath.

"Alijah! Do what you want! Kill whoever you want!" I screamed hard enough for him to hear me.

My chest shimmered, responding to the lunar energy coming from my beloved. The bond we shared responded to his desire to save me as if his power followed through my veins, shattering the chains surrounding me and canceling all the surrounding magic within the vicinity.

I hadn’t noticed what happened or that my body was glowing the same color as his. All I could think about was how the energy erupting from him was insane and how he could reach this far when my father could only do a few meters around him.

You truly are a monster rightfully feared by them. Even so… I’ll…

Alijah was a monster to be rightfully feared. Half of the warlock's forces, in an instant, were gone from one of his attacks, and any scenery behind them disintegrated as his blow took everything surrounding it.

Upon seeing that, the warlock yanked himself away from me as I instinctively grabbed onto his arm, dragging him to the ground with me. During the struggle, he seized the knife that was stuck on my shoulder on our way down.

Moving past the pain, I pinned his arms to the grass as blood dripped down my arm and chest.

"Ouch! You surely know how to treat a girl!" I growled.

At least I’m not losing control. So it isn’t Wolfsbane.

However, the blood from the wound let me know it was Iris. Otherwise, it would’ve healed by the time he yanked it out. Unlike me, Alijah was safe from them using it, as he had decimated their forces in two blinks of an eye.

It seemed Lilith was with him, too, so she was safe.

Pity. I guess... I’m the only one who’ll lose it all today.

"So, the rumors are true. You’re immune to Iris." The warlock noted, holding onto the blade tighter.

“Hah, speak when spoken to.” I snapped one of his arms, causing him to set out a mighty scream before grabbing his throat into my newly free hand.

Back in Silverant, my great-grandfather once tried to kill me with Iris. I was a disgrace to his family, after all. That was before he mysteriously croaked.

After the accident, I was only thirteen. He visited the manor under pretenses and fed me, Iris, giving me a significant sick day. Still, because of him, we discovered I was immune to it and all witchcraft potions, much like Wyatt’s love elixir.

For that rumor to circulate through Edna’s channels meant that the witch had moles everywhere. Most people didn’t know the reason my great-grandfather died, but it was Shade who did it. She had been silently watching when she witnessed what he had done.

Of course, there wasn’t a piece of him left to find after she was done. Not that my mother cared; my father didn’t, either. That man had tried to harm their baby girl, and in their eyes, he was no longer family.

Even Aunty Amelia didn’t mourn for him. Being so close to the warlock, I could see him better. Those beautiful eyes were full of agony, thanks to the arm I had broken. Tears were visible in his eyes from the pain.

However, what caught me off guard was how handsome he was under all of the malevolence.

It's a shame you’re working for that old hag. Wait… Do I have a thing for bad—

There was a weird aura coming from him that I couldn’t point out what it was.

"Where’s your mistress?" I questioned, trying to focus on him, yet my impaired vision made it hard.

A sharp smirk rose on his lips before erupting in laughter.

What the… Are all of Edna's minions this insane?

My concentration was shattered when his broken arm suddenly healed as he used the moment of surprise to grab me by the back of my head before yanking me towards him. The sudden movement caused me to let go of his throat to catch myself.

"My lips are sealed, mutt." The warlock announced, centimeters away from my lips.

They were on me a second later as a pulse of energy flowed through me. The sensation of another's touch on me caused me to yank away faster than I thought I would ever go. My mind was blank, unable to understand why he would ever do that.

Instinctively, I covered my mouth, trying to wipe off the feeling he left behind.

It’s disgusting. Much to my horror, Alijah was in front of us. The expression in his eyes was the scariest I had seen on him in all the months I spent with him. His arm was high up as his murderous intent skyrocketed.

He was about to rain down chaos on us when Lilith hugged him from behind, stopping his attack by throwing off balance. A dark portal appeared under the warlock in those moments, and he sank into it slightly.

"That’s enough, Cain. Back down, we’ve got more than enough." A voice I had never heard whispered from within the shadows.

A woman...

The warlock licked his lips, slightly disappearing from my sight and into the shadows below.

"Wait!" I muttered, snapping out of my shock and reaching for him.

"Bye-bye, mutt. We’ll meet again." Cain declared, smirking before vanishing into the abyss, leaving me again with no lead.

I tumbled onto my knees the moment he left, shaking where I was.

“Fuck!” I screamed, trying to stand up, only to stumble again.

Alijah jerked himself away from Lilith's grasp, running towards me to catch me as I gave out. The Iris was slowing me down more than I thought.

Perhaps the dose… Crap!

Whatever they gave me was more potent than the one the raiders had used on me before.

“Rem!” Alijah helped me up as I tumbled onto him.

“I’m—” I tried to tell him I was fine when he suddenly hauled me up to meet with his face.

It was almost as if he were about to kiss me, yet before our lips clashed with one another, Lilith stopped him in his tracks when she pushed him aside to aid me.

Eh? Were we about to… Nah… I have to be imagining things. I must be.

Chapter Text

My heart had stopped momentarily when Alijah had gotten close, but perhaps everything was my imagination. A crazy scenario came to mind when the desire to eliminate the sensation Cain had left behind on me went haywire.

You wouldn’t want to kiss me in front of your past love.

I could barely shake the feeling the other man's lips left on mine, though.

Ah… it seems I was right to push off all those men before things got too serious. The feeling of kissing another is too disturbing for me.

This was a new feeling I couldn’t wash away.

After all, Alijah is out of my reach now.

Even though I wasn’t sure if that was all the kiss did. My body felt different, and I couldn’t tell why. It probably was unimportant, especially when Lilith said nothing about it. Instantly, the elf's mode changed from happy-goer to worker.

Her expression was serious, and her magic was warm on my skin. She appeared to be attempting to rid me of the Iris in my system while also trying to get my human side to heal quickly. Healing magic was beautiful to experience.

Though she could never heal the wound that hurt the most, my heart.

No one can.

After fixing everything she could, she ripped her beautiful clothes to make a piece of cloth to wrap around my shoulder, using it as a bandage. The whole time she worked on me, Alijah watched us quietly from the side.

"There, that should do it." Lilith snapped the silence, smiling at me.

I could barely feel any pain at all anymore.

"Thank you," I voiced, shifting my gaze back toward the ground.

It felt like a knot had formed in my throat, turning each word into a boulder I had to push out.

"No, thank you for reuniting us." The elf bowed her head, smiling.

Her words only left me in agony, and I had to hide it all behind a façade. However, I couldn’t help but think she was cheerful for someone who had just been brought back from the dead.

Is a gentle nature shining through? It has to be. No wonder you’ve loved her for so long.

I was so used to the souls from the beyond being dreadful, yet her reaction was refreshing.

"It’s fine, really. I didn’t do much at all." I assured her.

She giggled, glancing at Alijah, who refused to let me out of his sight.

Is this your standard setting, even if she’s around, or is it the situation? Argh… This is all so…

My eyes opened wide upon realizing that this wolf wasn’t free to do as he pleased.

Wait… Are you thinking I’ll hold you back like a scorned woman? It isn’t like I was preggers. I…

I should’ve reassured him that I wouldn’t hurt his love or him even if it killed me, but my voice was struggling to come out for anything anymore.

"Oh, I highly doubt that!" she announced, glancing at Alijah, who growled at her comment.

I never expected him to sound so hostile towards her.

"Geez, why are you so moody? Weren't you a big goof before I died? Although you seem a bit more mature now." Lilith teased him.

My blood boiled upon hearing those words, and I wanted to step in and set her right.

You have no right to tell him that! Not when you don’t know half of what he has endured! It’s okay for him to be grumpy and moody! I’m pretty sure you’d be, too, if you were thrown into a cage and raped constantly for two years!

Even though I wanted to tell her off, it wasn’t my place anymore. So, instead, I bit my tongue and stepped back. Lilith wasn’t at fault, either.

Being dead gives you a pass on being ignorant.

Either way, they would have to work it out on their own.

"We should get going," I sighed, wishing to be far away from this place.

Upon hearing me, Lilith turned to me, "Oh yes! We should!"

I glanced at Alijah, who narrowed his eyes upon doing so.

Ah... Are you angry I’m here? Crap… I’m a burden to everyone, like always.

"Are you sure you can hold on to me with your shoulder like that?" He asked.

I was weak but not that pathetic.

Maybe...

"Yes, I’ll be fine," I simpered.

I can’t tell if you are worried or think I will slow you down now that you have Lilith to worry about.

The simple fact that he addressed me after what I had said made me happy. However, that would soon turn back into agony with Lilith's interception.

"Wait, we are riding you, Ali?! You’ve never let me do that before!" She jumped in between us, leaving me somewhat stunned by her revelation.

What? You’ve never ridden Alijah?

For instance, it brought me back to the hot spring, where I 'rode' him for a little while. My cheeks flushed red, remembering the previous night even though it wasn’t what she meant. It was a blessing when my mind wandered to that night of warmth.

Ah... You did say no one had ever ridden you when we first met, so I was your first.

I won one part. He also mentioned how many of his first, allowing a faint hope to flow through me.

Will you dream of me, too? Please… do…

"Eh?" I mumbled, trying to control my heart from misunderstanding.

Alijah huffed, "I didn’t do it because I like it. Rem can't shift."

My heart felt like it tore out of me.

Ah... you… Did I force it on you? That’s…

Unable to lift my arm well, I clasped onto my shirt with both hands. My lips grew colder as I realized everything we did together probably felt like Cain’s kiss.

It hurts… Don’t cry, Rem. Suck it up.

Even though it had nothing to do with what they were saying, I couldn’t help but feel disheartened by what he had said, and it wasn’t because of the hot spring but because every time I rode him, it made him uncomfortable.

All the times I slept on you in your wolf form, it made you uneasy. I’m sorry for… everything.

Those times were too many to count, especially when we fucked outdoors.

I’m horrible… I was so selfish. Not from the first night we met since it was necessary, but all those times, I used you as a bed as we traveled. All the while, I was the only one loving every minute!

His warmth was everything to me, but I was another assailant to him. It was hard to push down my emotions, but they would have to wait until I was alone.

"A luma that can’t shift at all? That’s weird." Lilith took a bizarre glance at me before turning right back to Alijah.

"Still, you never took me out, no matter how many times I asked you to." She complained, pouting.

He grimaced, appearing bothered by her words and approach.

This is another thing that's my fault. If only I weren’t a faulty luma.

"Ali…” I trailed off as their gaze found me.

Wait… that’s what you call him. I can’t do that now that you’re here.

“Alijah only allowed it so I wouldn’t slow him down," I assured Lilith.

Though my voice felt like it was about to break from how much it was quivering at any moment.

Was it always this hard to speak? It’s getting heavier.

"What? No, Rem, that isn’t what—" he went to say, only to be interrupted by the elf speaking, tugging on his shirt.

"Oh, well, either way, we should get going. I’ll finally ride you after all this time! Chop, chop!" Lilith beamed happily, trying to pull herself up to his lips.

For a moment, I froze, feeling the empty void within my chest grow.

If they kiss now… I… I’ll…

He stepped back from her and avoided the kiss, leaving me unsure of what I was witnessing.

"Ah... I have to..." Alijah avoided her, not letting her get another word out before he shifted instantly right after.

For a moment, Lilith was stunned but quickly shook it off.

"Later then," she smiled, as I didn’t want to see the end of that promise.

Alijah was acting weirder than I thought. However, they needed time to adjust to their new normal. He wasn’t the same man she knew in her past, while death had preserved her like she used to be. With the pressure to move, their issues had to wait.

We had gotten lucky that Alijah could keep Lilith, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t take her if they found us again, especially when I was a handy cap for him. Unable to help herself, the elf jumped into his fur before he could even get down for us.

"So soft,” she purred.

He growled, prompting her to shift her gaze to meet with his.

“Sorry!” She breathed, yet her grip was unrelenting.

For a moment, I stood there, slowly approaching them. It almost felt like I was an interloper getting into their space.

If only… we weren’t bonded.

Lilith reached for me, helping me up as Alijah lay on the ground to make it easier. Once on his back, I held onto Lilith while she grabbed his fur. With every second that happened, the void in my chest grew deeper.

Ah... life is becoming a painful thing to even think about anymore. I’ll… never feel you in my hands again, will I?

Whatever we had been was over in a split second.

At least you never cheated on me. No, I always knew you belonged elsewhere. Hey… Alijah… was I a good time at least? Or was I…

Pressing my lips together, I couldn’t help but wince.

Was I like Cain?

After securing me safely on his back, he ran for what felt like hours before stopping far away from where we were. Lilith enjoyed the entire ride there and practically never stopped pointing things out.

I mean, the dead won’t stop talking either when they chatted me to death. So, perhaps it’s a side effect of being dead for so long.

I didn’t want to judge her too harshly, but keeping up with her was hard.

Just how was Alijah when he met you? Like you said, is he the same as today, or more of a goof? Ah...

Jealousy was sprouting again, taking root in my core.

You knew him in a way that I’ll never know.

An Alijah that had been lost in time but one that I wished I could meet. He was probably more innocent and loving than the present one.

I… I’m so stupid.

Our shelter for the night was a cave near a mountain in the meadows of Allora. The surrounding forest remained white, but varied flora added color to our surroundings. Even though Alijah could run fast, he could never run an entire continent in one day, but we were getting close to the other end of Allora.

The moment I started to struggle to hold on to Lilith, he stopped in his tracks. I felt utterly useless when I got off him, only for Lilith to reassess my wound quickly. Luckily, it looked to heal a bit, even though I had Iris in my system.

It wasn’t like they knew, as I never said anything about what they had done, though I could tell Alijah was already suspecting something was wrong. After all, the only times I took long to heal were when he bit me, and I saved him from the raiders.

The cave also did a number on me, even though the plant’s venom was out of my system by then. While Lilith worked on me, he kept his distance, watching me closely. It made me remember something my brother once said.

Caden had complained about being the third wheel whenever he and Aiden hung out with Sophie. I had always told him he was crazy to think about it that way, but I was too harsh on him if this was how he felt.

Being a third wheel hurts… I don’t want to be here anymore.

During my adventure, I never felt lonely with Alijah, but ever since we found Lilith, it was all around me—a horrible feeling that would never go away. When she finished assessing me, she spun around before jumping at her old flame.

Instead of meeting her embrace, he stepped toward me as she missed him by a few centimeters. He grabbed me by my good arm and tugged me onto my feet.

Ah... did I do something else?

"We need to talk," he started.

I felt my heart drop instantly. My heart replayed every scenario that could happen. None of the good ones, of course.

You need to break this bond now. I’ll be with her now, and my focus must be on her. So, I need you to free me now, Rem.

So, on.

Am I ready for that?

He had just been with me the night before. His scent and warmth still lingered within me.

Will that hold me through what’s coming next?

Before I could speak, Alijah gently drew me forward, only for Lilith to grab him again.

"Wait, where are you going?" The elf asked, seemingly worried about being left alone.

His eyes darted to her, but before he could even speak, I suddenly shoved him into her so hard that he lost his balance. He almost landed on her as if he hadn’t caught himself. He always forgot I was a luma and that I had strength similar to a Lycan, even in my weakened state.

I’m not ready to hear that! Damn it! I know I have to give you up today, but I need the night to ready my heart. That’s all, right? Just give me a little bit more time! Please!

The void within me grew more extensive as the way he had held me was too addicting to surrender.

Does it have to end? Can’t I be the side chick?

Futile wish...

No, you aren’t that type of man. You’ll never want me again with her here.

"Alijah-tan isn’t going anywhere! You have a lot to talk about. So, our talk can wait! He probably wanted to ask me to get some wood or something." I blurted out, taking a few steps back.

Lilith didn’t know why I was acting this way, but Alijah growled loudly because of what I did.

Oh... I piss you off yet again. For the hundredth time today?

“Rem!” He huffed as it didn’t matter what he was about to say.

I wanted to run away, which was precisely what I would do.

"I know! I’m sorry! I-I’ll give you guys the chance to catch up. I bet there are many things that Alijah wants to tell you." I intercepted as he winced.

He shook his head slightly, "What? Rem, don’t—" he began, only for Lilith to interrupt him, lovingly grabbing him by his arm.

Ah... I’ve never done that to you. Not that you wanted my touch either way. If I’m anything like what Cain was earlier, I… I…

I had already taken enough time from him. After all, I had mounted him, not caring for his feelings, and even used him as a bed when he hated it.

You really should have told me. I never wanted to make you uncomfortable.

Then again, I was his captor. Of course, he would do anything to make me happy.

I even forced you to say you loved me. This… I’m pathetic, horrible, and disgusting, too.

"That would be a great idea. After all, Rem's wound isn’t so bad, and a little alone time with you. I think I would love that." Lilith declared, tugging on his sleeve.

Alijah grimaced at her, but that was probably because I was here.

Once I’m gone, you won’t have to hold back. Damn it, do you remember I cried the previous night? Did you figure out it was because of this? Do you care a bit about me? Probably... I’m her reincarnation's daughter, after all.

Nothing more…

"Lilith, I—" Alijah tried to speak, but I didn’t want to hear him agree with her.

Anything he had to say to her could wait until I left. After all, I needed some time to process everything, too.

"Okay then! I’ll be back later or tomorrow!" I announced before grabbing my bag and bolting out of there.

"Oi!" Alijah yelled, reaching for me.

However, Lilith tugged him back, preventing him from catching me. However, if he wanted to grab me, he could have. A little elf like her could never hold him, but he didn’t. The dark part of me wished he would have ripped her arms out, trying to catch me, but there was no way he would do that to the love of his life.

No matter how bad a lecture he wanted to give me, I ran from there until my arm stung from the exertion I was placing on my body. It was nothing compared to what my chest was feeling. No, a black hole was in there, swallowing everything in sight.

Chapter Text

Feeling like I was far enough away, I panted heavily before wincing and grabbing onto my shoulder. Luckily, I hadn’t reopened the wound since my shirt didn’t have any fresh blood on it. Releasing a sigh, I rested my back on what I thought was a tree but quickly noticed otherwise.

What the heck? This is soft and spongy.

Instantly, I turned around to notice it was a giant mushroom, and not only that. They were everywhere. It was a miracle I hadn’t tripped on them running there.

Ah… really?

During my mindless getaway, I discovered one of Allora's wonders: its mushroom forest. I had always wanted to visit it with Alijah and even mentioned it to him in my dreams, but that day would never come.

No, I’ll have to experience this alone whenever I am free from my curse.

Although the mushrooms shone in various colors, creating a magical atmosphere in the dark forest, my heart felt heavy. Once I left, my mind wandered to what they might’ve been doing. They were probably talking, which would lead to much more.

After all, I knew my wolf and how passionate he was when he wanted to be. Closing my eyes, I remembered the feeling Cain had left on my lips.

Is that how Alijah feels every time we kiss? It has to be. I’m… I’m so sorry.

That thought alone made me feel like emptying my stomach right where I was.

Damn it, I’m a disgusting woman. No different from all the men and women you’ve met. Before. I even used the bond to my advantage. Everything I wanted to be to you, I’ll never be! Not even a friend… I’ll… There is no way you’ll keep me around after everything we’ve done.

Not even the pretty scenery would soothe my soul tonight. Usually, I could push past my emotions to fake positivity, but I felt hollow.

I never knew sorrow would feel like this. When I said I could handle this, I was wrong.

There was no one around to comfort me either. I never thought I would miss my family as much as I did, but even they would leave me one day. Mom and Dad couldn’t live forever and were already getting old.

My siblings would marry and go their separate ways, and by then, I would be left alone.

Is this what Aunty Amelia felt before Dad lived with her? Would one of my siblings also take me in?

Before I knew it, tears swelled out of my eyes and streaked down my cheeks. I tried to hold them in, but they kept spilling out of me. Back in Silverant, I had everything I wanted. I was surrounded by love, and my family cared for me even if they dismissed me.

During this journey, I even got to experience all I could have wanted from Alijah. The only thing I lacked was his heart.

Why can’t I be happy? Why do I have to want more? It’s not fair! I had my taste! It has to be enough! Please… heart… let it be enough!

It wasn’t long before I broke into a sob as my legs gave out.

"Why... couldn't it have been me? Why... was I born in this era? Ah... I never had a chance, did I, Alijah?" I wept, falling onto my knees.

The surrounding mushrooms shimmered into the night so beautifully that they even outshone the stars. A nasty cloud soon covered the celestial bodies that wouldn’t accompany me tonight.

Just my luck… Will it rain? I hope not.

The warmth Alijah had given me the previous night faded with every thought that ran through my mind. Lilith held him without hesitation, unlike me, who felt I would intrude if I did.

Ah… the way they must’ve been making love at this moment.

There was no way I could go back there.

Why can’t the ground swallow me up and put my misery to an end?

Unlike Aunty Amelia, all I was to my family was a burden to hide and be ashamed of. I was the failure of the Silver Fang legacy, yet I had to go back there.

I know you all love me, but I’ll never be free, will I?

Without Alijah, I couldn’t safely kill Edna, and with Lilith in his hands, there was no reason for him to help me anymore.

Why... do I have to exist in this world? Why must I love a man who’ll never love me back? The gods have to hate me.

I glanced down at my right arm, where there was a simple silver bracelet. It was my contingency plan if I needed my family to find me. Back at the shadow beast, I didn’t use it because if they had found Alijah, it would’ve ended in imprisonment.

You all don’t have to do that anymore, though. Alijah won’t hurt the world where she lives.

Slowly, I reached for it, as all I needed to do was take it off, which would allow Vera's or Mom's tracking spell to activate and tell them where I was. Instead of pulling it right off, I stopped, curling up into a ball.

No, I can’t. That would be selfish of me.

I would give them this night to be together before the drama ensued. Even though I was alone, there were no ghost orbs. I hadn't seen one since I left the couple—something that had never happened before.

Well, unless Alijah is around, which is impossible. You’d never leave Lilith, the woman you’ve desired for six thousand years, alone to follow me. I’m not fragile or pretty like she is. I’m just an abomination and your captor.

I had freed him from all previous commands from the bond, too.

Ah... I wonder why you haven’t killed me yet.

After all, I had told him to do what he wanted. Perhaps holding me under him for six months made him soft.

“Hah, I guess I can relish that victory. I made the craziest Lycan alive a big softy!” I announced to the world, yet no one was around to hear it.

Tears still trailed down my cheeks as I couldn’t help but hold my hands tightly against my chest.

“Ah… It isn’t enough.” My voice broke as I picked up a few rocks before throwing one at a group of mushrooms in the distance.

The impact caused them to erupt in spores, creating a mist resembling the sky's missing stars. It would’ve been a beautiful scene if my heart hadn't been shredded.

Without you here, everything seems dull.

Aiming with another one, I was about to throw it when something grabbed me by the back of my shirt, dragging me away.

What the heck?! Is it a wild animal?!

However, Allora didn’t have any animals that could drag anyone around.

A deer? Maybe their horn got caught on my shirt? But I didn’t hear anything near me!

I was a luma, not a Lycan, but even so, my hearing was better than a human's. Unable to recover, I was quickly dropped off by an area away from the spreading spores. When I turned around, my jaw dropped as I spotted someone who shouldn’t have been there.

I… I don’t understand! How…

"Why the fuck are you always trying to get yourself into trouble? Honestly, I don’t know if you’re really brain-dead or something else. Those have hallucinogenic properties and can be deadly even to Lycans in high dosages!" Alijah scolded, shifting to his humanoid form.

"W-Why are..." I trailed off as my brain lagged behind me, unable to make sense of anything anymore.

"Because you’re a stupid luma. Why weren’t you letting me speak back there?! Be thankful I was here to save you!" He snapped, fangs flashing.

What’s so important that you had to leave her? Don’t you understand she’s alone out there?!

I was trying too hard to be strong, but I couldn’t anymore. My sanity was shattering.

Just how long were you… Is rejecting me so important? I don’t want to hear it!

"Maybe it would’ve been best if I died!" I yelled, triggering his nasals to flare.

"What?! For whom exactly?!" He questioned, grabbing onto my arm.

“Let go of me!” I shouted, yanking my limb away only for it to sting, yet I wouldn’t back down.

“Rem…” Alijah breathed.

"Who wouldn’t be better off if I died? You wouldn’t have to worry about me and our stupid bond! Everyone in this fucking world doesn’t give a damn about me! I’m a fucking luma! Weak and..." I trailed off, wincing.

A burden to my family that saw it fit to lock me up to protect me. But is it me who they are protecting or their reputation?

Usually, parents drop their hybrid children in Celestelia.

Perhaps that fate would have been better for me. Fewer worries and responsibilities for all of you!

"Rem, that isn’t true." Alijah reached for me again, only for me to slap his hand away.

Ah... I’m going to hurt you. Alijah... I’m sorry. I lied when I said I wouldn’t. I... can’t stop myself.

My emotions were swirling out of control as the curse responded to them.

"Why... are you here?! Do you need to tell me so bad that you don’t love me to move on?! That you need to be freed! Don’t worry, I’ll free you when I see Vera! I can’t do it alone!" I snapped.

His crimson gaze also responded to the moon's aura coming from me.

"Rem, I—" Alijah tried speaking, but it was too late.

I’m done. There isn’t any point in going back anymore. If you are so determined to reject me, I’ll have you one last time.

"Don't you dare speak, move from where you are, or touch me until I order you so!" I commanded, prompting the bond to take hold of him immediately.

My body was shaking, and I knew I was going insane. I had to be for what I was about to do to my dear Alijah.

"Hah... I don’t understand! Why are you here?! Where’s Lilith?! I really don’t understand!" I grabbed onto my chest, feeling my mark burn.

My breaths were getting shorter with each emotion I unleashed on him. Even though none of this was his fault, I chose to love him, even though I knew he would never be mine.

I’m sorry. So sorry.

"Compared to her, I... am nothing to you. I know that! You don’t need to tell me!" My voice broke as tears streaked down my cheeks.

Never want me again, never look at me again! Hate me so you’ll never want me near you again. It’s the only way I’ll ever… move on.

"You’ve loved her for thousands of years! So why are you standing before me when she’s waiting for you?! Is it because of the bond?! Is it because I forced you into this relationship we had?!” I paused, feeling my voice leave me.

Why does this have to be so complicated? Ah… because once said… it’s no longer a thought… but a reality.

“Don't worry, Alijah. I always knew it was physical for you, even when I professed my love for you!" I screamed, feeling a pulse of energy come from me and into the ground underneath.

It caused the earth to shake around us even slightly, alerting me that I was losing it.

By the gods... how much could I love a man? I would give the world to you.

"I’m not as stupid to think I could replace her, so I kept my promise and brought you to her! I’ll release you.” My voice shook even though the words kept rolling out of me.

Why… Does… No… Nothing matters.

“I’ll let you go, my love! I won’t be your captor anymore or hold your leash! I’ll free you so you can be happy, even if it kills me!" I declared, closing my eyes as my chest felt emptier with every word that left me.

All I felt were even more chains that gripped me, tying me in place. Every memory I had of him was tainted.

There was never any love there. I’m your captor, nothing else. So, of course, you’d keep me happy.

I wanted to be pulled into the ground below and never surface again.

Another wish that won’t come true.

For a moment, I gazed at my wolf, whose jaw clenched, eyes scrunched up, and had a firm frown on his lips. His eyes glossed as he bit his lip, unable to articulate a single word to me.

Ah… What would you say to me right now if you could speak? Nothing good, surely. No, this is the only way for me.

"Now that Lilith’s here. There’s no way you’ll kill everyone, right?" I mumbled, grabbing onto my chest.

"If you are going to kill everyone, please spare my family. If holding me through all these months was a bother to you, then you can kill me, too. In fact, kill me when you’re free. Please, Alijah, end my fucking misery.” I whimpered, shifting my gaze away from him.

There was no holding this anymore.

I… love you.

“And when you do, make sure there isn't a trace of me left!" I gritted my hands into fists so hard that my nails dug into my skin.

The scent of blood was again in the air.

Fitting.

"But I won't order you to do that, though. No... I’ll make you hate me enough that you’ll want to do the same thing you did to Wyatt." I gazed toward him, tears still streaking down my cheeks.

He shook his head, shifting his gaze towards the ground. It seemed there was much he wanted to say to me, but because of the bond, not a single word left his mouth. I had neutered the chatterbox that my wolf was.

"Alijah, sit," I ordered, instantly triggering him to do so.

The end for us…

Hesitantly, I closed the gap between us and knelt to his level.

"You see, I’m a worse monster than Wyatt," I whispered into his ear.

His eyes shimmered brightly, responding to the moon's power emanating from me.

I’ll make you hate me so much that when you kill me, there won’t be a piece of me left to be found. It's the only authentic way to kill an immortal like me.

With his destructive power, he was more than capable of erasing my existence from this world. That much, I was sure of.

You’re… the only one who can stop the pain from corrupting anything else.

Chapter Text

Cruelty was familiar in this world, but what I was about to do was worse.

"Silly wolf, I don’t need a drug to have my way with you. Just a simple word, and your body will react to me." I smirked, feeling hollow as all the warmth from my body left me.

However, I could never really face Alijah head-on with what I was about to do.

No, I’m a coward.

To hide his eyes from me, I reached back to the cloth he always used to tie his hair before taking it and using it to blindfold him.

"You can't take that off until I tell you," I whispered, tightening the cloth around his head.

He released a nervous chuckle as his hair became undone because of it. For a moment, I froze, realizing what I was about to do. I could’ve stopped, talked to him, listened to him, heard him, but I was terrified to live a life without him.

No… a life with no one.

Everyone considered me the annoying, stupid girl they had to deal with.

Now, I’ll be the terrifying one as well.

Letting go of every hesitation, I sighed softly before grabbing Alijah by his chin and tracing my thumb on his lips.

It’s too late to stop. You’ll never love me.

"Open your mouth so I can kiss you. Oh... and you’ll respond to me similarly every time I do." I commanded.

As he did as I commanded, I clashed my lips with his as my tongue invaded his mouth. It was usually so warm whenever I touched it, but I felt disgust for myself this time. At least it was washing Cain's kiss from my lips.

Our tango continued as Alijah dug his hands into the ground when I unbuttoned his shirt. I finished the forced kiss by nibbling on his bottom lip, slightly slicing it with one of my fangs. Although they weren’t as sharp as his, they still could do some damage.

Blood dripped from his wound, enticing me to lick the trail of blood and his lower lip. It healed almost immediately because it wasn’t deep enough to make it stay. Part of me wanted to know what he would say in a moment like this, but I knew it would be nothing good.

No, you probably feel the same thing I did when Cain kissed me.

Every fiber felt repulsed for doing this to my wolf, yet the hollowness that had set in my heart kept me going. Once his shirt was undone, I exposed his chest to me, tracing his features with my fingertips.

None of this is mine, yet I’ll claim for tonight alone. Even if I bite… all the marks will be gone by the time the sun is out.

Trailing kisses on his cheeks, I suddenly pulled down one of his ears, prompting him to breathe loudly. I leaned closer before softly blowing on it.

"I think I’ll take that bite now," I murmured into Alijah's fluffy ear, tugging his shirt down enough to expose his shoulders.

Trailing kisses down his jawline, I released his ear before traveling to his shoulder. The warmth of his skin was always so alluring, yet the lingering thought of him hating my every touch revolted me.

I…

Licking the spot I would chomp down on, my wolf shivered, prompting me to draw away slightly.

Can I really do this? You’ll hate me… No, you already do.

Opening my mouth, I chomped Alijah harder than I had ever done before, triggering a groan to erupt from his lips. Blood gushed into my mouth, filling my senses and leaving behind the sweetness from before in my taste buds.

A growl rose from his lips when I tugged away from the love bite I had given him. Ichor dripped down his chest from the injury, triggering me to trail my hands on it.

Ah… It’s over.

It wasn’t long until my lips sucked on his skin, marking everywhere I touched. I even suckled on his nobs while leaving behind slight nibbles on his areolas. Moans and groans left his lips as I made my way down to his chest.

His breathing was heavy and rapid, making his abdomen flex with each press of my lips. He was covered in all different types of love bites by the time I was done with his upper body. There, I unbuckled his pants before slightly tugging them down to see if he was responding to me.

Ah… You’re… No, that doesn’t mean anything. It’s a physiological response rather than an emotional one.

"Wow... I never expected you to be into the dominatrix or sadistic kink, Alijah-tan." I smirked before I realized what had come out of my mouth.

Wait… didn’t Mira do similar things to you?

For a moment, I stared at the marks, bites, and blood that dripped off him as he panted for air. My heart’s void grew more prominent as my eyes dropped towards the ground.

I’m no better than her. I don’t deserve you, even if you want me. No, all I deserve is to be killed by you.

Even though my body radiated the same darkness as in the morning, I felt everything I was doing to him. This time, it numbed nothing.

I’m not pure at all, Alijah. That flower you gave me isn’t meant for me. No… It’s a better gift for Lilith.

Wincing, I glanced down at my left arm to see blood had fallen from my chin into the white cloth that represented the flower.

Just what am I doing? Right... making you hate me so much that you won’t leave a piece of me to be found.

Pushing aside my feelings, I exposed his member from his underwear. A soft sigh left his lips when I grabbed onto it, and he shivered soon after when I stroked it.

I’m hideous, horrible, and monstrous.

Even though I had never done this before, I pumped my wolf a bit more before I took him into my mouth. A gasp left his lips, although I didn’t know if it was because of pain or something else I had done.

Unlike before, I was trying to give him some pleasure through the discomfort I had brought him. He still had his hands buried in the ground next to him as I started to bob my head carefully, not to scratch him with my teeth.

Crap, you’re so big. I can barely fit you in my mouth!

The deeper I took him, the more my body rejected the idea as a gag sensation started to occur soon after.

How… How did Vera’s friends say a man like it? Argh! Why can’t I remember a single thing?

It was evident that I sucked, and I couldn’t tell if I was hurting him or pleasing him. His hips, though, slowly bucked even through my command.

Are you doing it involuntarily? Does that mean you want me to take you deeper? But… I can’t! My jaw is starting to hurt!

Unable to take him fully in, I concentrated on pumping his base and sucking on his tip. I played with his jewels with my free hand, softly caressing them in my fingertips. They were soft and wrinkly, but their warmth was alluring to me.

A slightly salty taste soon filled my senses when my tongue swirled on his tip.

Is this the liquid that nourishes your seed on the way out? It doesn’t taste bad, but neither does it taste good!

Part of me wanted to see if he was pleased, but his expression was none of my concern. Saliva dripped from my lips and onto him before a loud moan left his lips as he exploded in my mouth, catching me off guard.

Thanks to the suddenness of it all, I almost choked on the thick liquid from his heat as some of it went up my nose. Unable to help it, I coughed as most of it dripped from my lips. A chuckle soon followed the event as if he got me back with that.

My eyes twitched as I had a hard time recovering from almost choking on his thick load. Once I could breathe clearly, my body moved before I realized what I was doing. My wolf couldn’t fully enjoy his victory when I kissed him.

It was a dirty move, but the bond obligated him to respond to me as our tongues tangoed with what was left of him in my mouth.

A victory.

"Swallow it, my love." I snickered, wiping myself.

My wolf had no choice but to follow my order as his smile vanished before another low growl left his mouth.

"Aw... you didn’t like that? But you tasted so good to me. Isn't it salty? I love salty things." I licked my lips, inspecting the wolf with rosy cheeks and saliva dripping from his lips.

Ah…. You…

Unable to help myself, I grabbed his chin before kissing him again.

I’ll be… just like everyone you hate, Alijah, so please… just give me this last moment.

Straddling him, I feverously made out to him like it would be the last time I would ever kiss him.

More… I don’t want it to end.

Tugging away slightly from him, I sat down on the ground in front of him before glancing up towards the starry sky above. The clouds from before had parted, allowing the celestial bodies to witness my sin.

"Hey, Alijah... do I smell sweet today?" I asked, not looking at my wolf and taking a deep breath.

I hadn’t realized the entire time I had been crying.

It's not like it matters. I’m still the most pathetic person alive. Feeling bad even though I’m the one doing heinous things.

"Fuck me with the one goal of impregnating me," I ordered, closing my eyes.

Before I knew it, my back was on the ground as his body towered over me, shimmering brightly. A second later, my pants were off as shivers ran down my spine when he gripped my hips before plunging into my core without hesitation.

A sharp whine left me as the suddenness of it all hurt, yet it wasn’t an unwelcome event. I didn’t want any pleasure from what I was forcing him to do.

I truly don’t know if I smell sweet to you, but I doubt it.

Even though I was a Lycan, females couldn’t tell when other females were ovulating since only males could do it. The only thing I could do was feel the symptoms, but I hadn’t felt the entire time we had spent together.

And certainly not today.

Each thrust that used to give me such warmth only left me colder than ever while I lay there like a doll being fucked. Sex without love was nothing in comparison.

Though, it never was there. It was only me ever making love to you. You… never… So… why…

When Alijah tried to knot me, I found my release along with him.

Ah… Even for women, it’s a physiological response.

Even though I was doing something so dirty, I was going to feel pleasure too.

Ah... This is revolting. I’m disgusting. Utterly ugly.

"Do it again until I’m pregnant," I whispered while we were knotted.

Unable to do otherwise, he followed my command, unable to do anything else. I bit into his shirt, attempting to hold the mewls that wanted to erupt me while he fucked me repeatedly. Though, unlike me, he didn’t hold on to his moans.

No, he filled my ears with them, while occasional ones would leave me whenever he knotted me. All my marks and bites were gone when the sun was up. I could barely keep up anymore, but somehow I was conscious.

The only evidence of what I did was the dried blood on his skin. I slowly glanced at the blue sky above as the stars melted into it. Air was so precious to us both that we couldn’t get enough. The sunrise marked the end for us and this excursion.

When this wolf knotted me for the last time, I pressed my hand on his chest.

How we are still up, I don’t know, but this is enough. I feel like I’m going to blow down there.

This would be the last time I would ever feel him like this. Unable to help myself, I kissed him lightly on his lips before wincing as I had the worst headache I had.

Damn it, it’s probably from all the crying. Ah… Pathetic.

Like I had commanded the night before, he responded to the kiss with the same affection. I almost broke when I tugged away from the brief affection. It was the first time we had done so since the fucking started.

I could feel my body tremble when his heat quivered within me.

Hah… I’ll never have you again, not that I deserve to after this.

All I could hope was that he gave me a quick death.

"A-After you’re f-free from this knot. Y-You’ll sit back where y-you were and s-stop trying to k-knock me up." I struggled to say with a raspy voice.

Alijah also struggled to get a grip as his breathing was uneven and hoarse. Once he was free of my biological response, he sat back where he had been previously before my horrendous order came to be. The moment I sat up to grab my shorts, what Alijah had filled within me slowly overflowed down my legs.

Flustered, I quickly placed my underwear, followed by the shorts, only to feel truly repulsed afterward.

How did all those women who did that to you live with it? And did it over and over nonstop for two years. I can barely handle it now.

Nausea rippled through my entire being as I felt like my stomach contents were about to exit. My legs also felt like jelly with each movement I tried to make.

This isn’t good. I still need to make it back to Silverant.

I readied myself to face Alijah, who panted for air where he sat. Luckily, the blindfold still held up even after all his rough movements. Shivers ran down my body when I struggled to get up, but I eventually found my footing.

My wolf appeared to recover faster than I did, as his panting had stopped. I could only stare at him, knowing I had betrayed him in every way possible.

All my promises are meaningless.

I removed the scrunchy he had given me and placed it before him as I kneeled to his level.

“Hey… Alijah… forget the kissing order.” I whispered, voice hoarse.

Slowly, I leaned to press my lips against his before holding them there in a futile attempt to calm my shattered heart.

I’m sorry… for everything.

Pulling away from his lips, I could only gravitate toward them.

I don’t want to let go.

“You respond however you want. I kiss you this time, but you can’t move or speak,” I mumbled, though he could hear me.

You’ll probably bite my tongue off or make me bleed, but I can’t care less.

Pressing my lips on his again, I flinched away when he opened his mouth. A soft chuckle left him as I pushed past my fears and kissed him again. This time, I stuck my tongue into his mouth, expecting a bite to follow, but his soft, spongy muscle tangoed with mine.

This sweet wolf…

However, I couldn’t allow myself to be swayed. He would never hurt the master who owned his leash until the orders expired. Enjoying the last kiss we would ever share, I tried to figure out how to get back to Lilith.

Well, without my wolf getting to me first. I deserve everything that’s coming for me, but… Let me at least free you from this bond.

Pulling away from him, I bit into my lip.

This is it. I’m sorry, Alijah.

"Fix yourself up and stay here for an hour. After that, you’ll be free of my worders." I gave my last order, taking a step away from him.

I’m sorry. Please make me suffer for what I've done to you. Make my death as painful as you want, as long as you leave not a piece of me behind.

Part of me wished I could stay there and wait for my reckoning, but I needed to find Lilith before I took off this bracelet. With her around, he wouldn’t do anything too reckless, or at least I hoped he wouldn’t. Without a second thought, I bolted out of there and into where fates would collide yet again.

Chapter Text

All I had to do was run in a straight line, as it was my path the previous day. So, it was easy to get back to Lilith even though I stumbled on multiple things. Thanks to that, I brought half the forest with me since my clothes got dirty from how many times I rolled on the ground.

The primary culprit was my jiggly legs that refused to follow my commands.

I have no one to blame but myself, though.

At least my shoulder didn’t bother me anymore since it was almost fully regenerated. The freshly minor scrapes from my falls were struggling to heal, reminding me that Iris was still in my system. Not that they stopped me.

When I saw the cave, orbs of ghosts gathered around me as I focused on my goal. I moved past them and toward where we left Lilith. Only one goal remained: to get to her and remove my bracelet, allowing my family to come to me.

Will they even come? Argh… don’t think of anything! They…

It had been six months since I last saw anything from them. I didn’t know if they were still looking for me. Sadly, I hadn’t thought this thoroughly but hoped Alijah would spare them. Slowly, I made my way to the elf, disregarding the ghosts trying to speak to me.

Lilith seemed to look for us outside the cave, leaving me wondering if she had been doing so all night.

Ah… Crap, I really messed up.

The moment the elf spotted me, she ran to meet me in the clearing between the cave. Finally, the forest was behind me.

"Rem, what happened? Why are you all battered like that?" Lilith asked, eyeing me down.

Uh… I…

I didn’t think any of it through. At least she didn’t know me, which allowed me to lie to her, unlike Alijah.

"Ah, don't mind me. I’m a major klutz!" I assured her, trying to walk past and towards the cave.

Sadly, she grabbed me by my arm, stopping me.

"Wait, where’s Alijah?" the elf continued her query.

I struggled to figure out what to say, only to come up with the obvious.

"Maybe he is hunting or something. I really don't keep track of him." I lied, trying not to picture how I had left him sitting near that mushroom forest.

Oh, by the gods... It’s not the time to feel guilty! Fuck! I’m so sorry! Why is this harder than killing strangers?! Ah… because I love you, and I’m screwing with your life.

The feeling of his warm lips was still radiating on mine, though.

Damn it! I have to shake all of this off! This isn’t the moment for that!

The moment Alijah caught up, it wouldn’t be sweet and happy clouds.

"Oh, is he? Then do you know where he was last night? He never came back." She continued as I shifted my gaze away, picturing where he was last night.

"I... I-I don’t know. I kind of s-slept in the f-forest and got c-chased by a d-deer when I tried to give you g-guys space,” I announced as she tugged on my arm.

“But—" She started, only for me to interrupt her.

“Look! I j-just want to get out of here!" I snapped, prompting her to flinch and allowing me to pull away from her before dropping my bag on the floor.

With this clearing, it should be easy for them to track me.

All I had to do was take off the bracelet, which was easy, yet I was hesitant.

Is this the right thing? I mean, there’s no going back, is there?

My mind was a mess. I couldn’t think straight.

If they see you kill me, then they’ll indeed attack him. I… Argh! Everything is just too much!

My insecurities were consuming me, and I was a wreck. There was no taking back what I had done to Alijah. My hand trembled before pulling away from the only thing that would alert my family where I was.

No… Dying by your hand isn’t the worst way I can go. You won’t be free from the bond, but at least you won’t have me ordering you anymore.

"Oh... that’s a pity. Leaving yet isn’t what I planned." Lilith sighed, grabbing me by my shoulder.

Turning around to see what she wanted, every fiber of my being jolted as a twinge emerged from my abdomen. My hands instinctively grabbed onto hers, only to feel something hard sticking out of my belly.

"Eh? What are you?" I mumbled as a second later, blood crawled up my throat and into my mouth before dripping down my lips.

She had pierced my stomach with an unknown object.

What... Why... I...

"Shit! I was aiming for your heart. As I said, I’ll help you with the curse by freeing you from your body. There’s no better way to kill a god than with a weapon made from one." The elf smirked as her eyes were fully enticed by what she had done.

The blade embedded into my abdomen reacted to her, allowing a spell to be cast to activate the relic in her hands.

Huh? I thought… only purebred Lycans and vampires could be active god artifacts.

Yet somehow, this elf had done the enchantment to release the potential within the object. This was the first time I had ever been in contact with one, as these items were rare since the elves no longer produced them.

I wasn’t versed in the language used by the gods, so when she muttered the words, they flew right by me. Although the elves couldn’t use the artifacts, they made them by trapping the dead souls within the soul cairn, who used to be gods in their past lives.

The moment it activated, my mind spun as I could barely understand what was happening anymore. However, my instincts also went off as I crushed Lilith’s fingers in my hands, prompting her to screech before pulling away from me.

"Ouch! You fucking bitch!" She hissed, holding her hands between her legs.

Instantly, I tried to pull the relic out, only for it to dig its way in even more as it glowed brighter with each passing second. Unable to free myself from it, my knees hit the ground hard, and a second later, my body keeled over to the side.

Every ounce of my strength went into trying to take out the dagger, but it was useless. It wasn’t budging, no matter how hard I yanked on it.

"Just kidding!" The elf snickered, suddenly showing me her hands fully healed.

Hah? Did I hallucinate it? Or did I crush my own?

There was no pain coming from my hands—no, the only agony I was in was from my stomach.

"How..." I gasped as more blood flowed into my mouth, prompting me to cough.

Lilith cackled, walking towards me. "Ah... How I missed this..."

Would a medic act like that? Are you even a real medic? Or did Edna…

Her healing magic was real, but her face was so twisted that I couldn’t picture her as benevolent.

Aren’t you supposed to be a savior? Argh! I don’t understand! Why are you loving every minute that my life seems to be in the balance?!

"W-Why are… y-you doing… t-this?" I struggled to say, only to gasp as the blade went deeper into me.

No matter how hard I tried to pull it out, it wasn’t budging.

I’m dying. No… No… I’m really dying!

Every breath seemed more challenging as my vision blurred from the tears streaking down my cheeks.

It hurts so much!

"Because Mother found out that you have Alijah caged in a spell, which should dispel soon thanks to that artifact. It’ll also kill you, even though you’re supposedly immortal! You should’ve never messed with the Book of Life! Finally, a win after centuries of being dead!" Lilith burst into maniacal laughter as the tips of my limbs became cold.

Eh? Book of Life? What the fuck are you on about? No… Crap… I was stupid even to believe Edna didn’t influence you! And did you call that monster a mother?!

My head spun, unable to get a grip on reality.

No focus! You can’t die yet, Rem! You have to save him!

I couldn’t think of anything else but to try to pull the dagger out. If Alijah fell into Edna's hands, there was no way to see how he would be.

You deserve to be happy! But… Can I save you after what I did? Do I even deserve to try?

"Why..." I tried to speak, only to choke on the blood that was coming up.

Was…. Last time, this scary? No, I…

If what she said was true, then I was about to die for real.

Pathetic, I thought you only wanted to die by your beloved’s hand. A voice echoed within me.

What? Who… No! I can’t die when his life is in danger! Pull it out, Rem! You have to yank it off!

The bracelet was the only way to get help, but if I let go of the dagger, I would bleed out in seconds if it went any deeper. Lilith stood over my body while I struggled to stay alive, in vain.

"Well, since you’re dying, I’ll tell you a little secret. I’ve always been an angel of death! Mother showed me the way when she saved me from a brothel I used to work in. This was almost one hundred years before I met the little fool you know as Alijah." Lilith smirked, kicking me in the face, prompting me almost to let go of the slippery artifact.

A fool? What? Didn’t you love him?! Wasn’t your story made of love?!

Words refused to leave me as I barely had the blade in my hands anymore.

"Now, it’s time for you to die, dirty luma. However, this death is too good for you. You deserved a more agonizing one for touching my beautiful toy, but Mother’s too merciful for her good." Lilith chided, glowering at me.

Ah... I fucked up big time.

No! Don’t give up! You can’t die here! The voice within me yelled as I felt all the strength in my body leave me.

No… I... don’t deserve to save him.

As Lilith had said, the bond weakened to the point where I couldn’t feel it anymore. Lying in a pool of blood, my consciousness was barely holding on anymore when a figure appeared in the distance.

Perhaps I was hallucinating, but I could swear I saw Alijah in the distance. Karma was coming for me, and I could do nothing to stop it.

I’m sorry... for everything...

Chapter Text

Since the previous night, it had appeared that I was missing a puzzle piece. Rem had been crying without telling me a reason, even begging me not to ask her. The previous days before that night, she had been her usual self.

What the fuck went wrong?

To the point of wanting to take a dunk in fucking lava. She always kept me on my toes, even in the safest places, but this time felt different. While I sat on the forest ground, I tried to reflect on what had happened to get me in this situation.

The first thing that came to mind was that I had grown soft, much like Rem had said the previous night.

You really did make me softer than those marshmallows you forced down my throat in Niamoor. I mean… they were deliciously soft, but not the point.

I should’ve grabbed her by her pretty face to shut her up, but I didn’t want to hurt her.

Foolish of me. Rem’s too stupid to understand by actions alone. You never once forced me to do anything, especially to say I love you.

The hot springs weren’t the first time those words slipped out of me, but my stupid pride made me hold back when the surrounding butterflies too enticed her to hear me. However, I had a feeling that even if she heard me, it wouldn’t have changed a thing.

No, you’re too fucking stubborn, but I know how I’ll beat it into that silly little head of yours. Whenever this stupid order ends, I won’t be gentle at all. Oh, no... you don’t deserve a soothing touch after what you did to me. No, I’ll make you hear me no matter what.

A soft chuckle left me before I licked my lips.

Perhaps even fuck you right in front of Lilith if that’s what it takes for you to realize that you’re my mate.

The elf had barely been on my mind since I met this luma in that lake.

Fuck, even before I got into this timeline, my anger and rage were first to Lilith, as I didn’t care who I hurt as long as they felt the agony I endured. You were just a fuel for it. I can’t deny that I wanted to be with you, but we never had love.

My relationship with Lilith differed from what I had with this stupid little luma. No matter how much I pushed her away or hurt her, she still came for me. She broke through every wall I had ever placed in my heart effortlessly.

Even when Rem saw my ugly side, she still said she loved me. When she was crying for me in that cave, thinking I had died, I couldn’t handle it anymore. My heart wanted to let her in, no matter what I tried to shove her away.

I was so scared of being hurt that I was a damned fool.

Then, when she kissed me, I couldn’t help but respond to her loving every minute.

I still, to this day, don’t understand why you pulled away from me instead of letting me hold you. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been in danger, and I would’ve embraced you so much more gently than I did when I…

Seeing her slipping away in my arms after touching that crystal showed me how precious this luma was becoming to me.

I’ve never begged for help before. Not even when Lilith died, or I was a prisoner… I never bend my knee to anyone.

When I found Rem was under me instead of Lilith, after ingesting that drug, I felt relief as well as a bunch of other emotions that masked it.

I didn’t understand why you’d go that far for me.

It was the first time I had felt mixed emotions like that. After I told her what I had gone through, I thought she would be disgusted with me, yet the little luma wanted me and moaned for me.

At that moment, I fell deeper in love with you, yet I was so guarded that I fooled myself into thinking it was nothing. I simply didn’t wasn’t to get hurt by you or anyone else.

However, when it came to light that my suspicions of the elf that helped save Rem were true, I lost it to the point I would hurt her just to kill him. Even though I killed a man in front of her, she opened her arms and accepted me again, leaving me in euphoria the entire time I was in her embrace.

It almost felt too good to be true. I just had to keep telling myself it was temporary, but… then came the night in the bioluminescent lake, which turned out to be magical.

I realized the feelings brewing within me for the stupid little luma in my arms weren’t stoppable.

That was when I promised myself to live for you instead of my pain. I wanted to keep you close so you wouldn’t feel any of the agony I felt. Yet I… couldn’t express what I felt for you so openly.

What if… Oh, how dumb I was even to think you were in love with fantasy when you showed me otherwise so many times.

These past six months have been the happiest since I was thrown into the political power of the Lycans.

It was crushing! I… No one ever wanted me but what I was. So, accepting you was… No, it isn't easy, but this… This is…

The last night we spent in Zent left me baffled about why Rem acted so weirdly on the night of the spring.

Somehow, you found out where to find Lilith. My only guess was that one ghost that plagued you found you while I was away. Fuck, I should’ve forced you to come into that bathroom with me.

A mistake I wouldn’t allow again.

Stupid girl, I’m fine leaving the elf dead. I forgot the promise you made me until a couple of hours ago when you reminded me of it.

The thoughts of a dead lover coming back became irrelevant with the more time I spent with Rem. However, I felt some responsibility for saving Lilith since I caused her death, but that was where my feelings ended for her.

It’s interesting that for centuries, I dreamt of the day of being reunited with you, but when I saw you, I felt nothing. You were just another body I had slept with in the past. A feeling I wasn’t sure I would have.

I felt happier during the months I was with Rem than during the two years I spent with Lilith. She never treated me like the little luma did.

No, Lilith never cared for me. A realization hit me when you showered me with genuine affection without expecting anything back.

The elf I thought I cared for hated when I got too affectionate with her, insisting we only fucked with our clothes on. Most of our moments happened in the clinic, where she would spend most of the time.

I can’t lie and say I didn’t find that attractive about you, but that was because all the women around me were jumping me. After all, I was the first Lycan born under a red moon.

Truthfully, I was hesitant to tell Rem how I felt about her because if I had ever seen Lilith, I thought I would’ve felt something.

Part of me didn’t want to get the little luma’s hopes up for nothing, yet when I saw you in that forest. With all those beautiful butterflies flying around you, I stared at a goddess that shone a light into my world.

The words slipped out of my mouth before I realized what I said.

Of course, you asked me to repeat it like you hadn’t heard me, and stupid me had to back off like an idiot.

It wasn't brilliant of me to think that.

No, it's the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

Rem had been there since I came to this era, and I wanted her to stay by me. When we came to Allora, I felt like I wanted to get the fuck away from there.

Why? Well, I don’t have fond feelings for this continent, and the last time I was here, I lost something I valued. The last thing I wanted was to lose you, too.

Since we stepped onto this god-awful continent, an unpleasant feeling was growing in my gut.

Something kept nagging at me, yelling to take you away from here, but you didn’t listen.

It was similar to what I felt the day they killed Lilith. Back then, the elf denied leaving with me, too. However, the clinic was always first for her, and I came second, unlike Rem, who placed me before herself.

Fuck, it seems the women of my life never listen to me.

No, instead of telling me why we were there. Rem ordered me to go forward into the unknown as the horrific feeling gripped my core and wouldn’t let go. Then I spotted Lilith in the village we used to live in, and it was like seeing a fucking ghost I never wanted to meet again.

Her clinginess to me was what was annoying.

Something you never did while in your first life.

Worse yet, Rem avoided me in every sense of the word.

All that worried me was you, my little luma. I should’ve been more vigilant with you.

I knew Rem was hurting before we got to Allora, but I couldn’t have guessed it was because of Lilith.

You should’ve talked to me! I would’ve assured you of my feelings right in front of her!

When she bolted away from us, Lilith held me back, which caused me to snap at her for holding onto me so much.

You were… never been like this before!

I honestly couldn’t care if it was a life revelation or something else. All I wanted was to go after Rem, and she was being more than a hindrance. If only I had not caused her death…

I… would’ve ended her right there.

"Let me go of me already!" I growled at Lilith, who held onto me relentlessly.

Every fiber of my body boiled as I wanted nothing more than to rip myself from her.

But I owe you since you died because I refused to let you go once. Fuck… Rem, you’ve made me so soft.

Usually, I was the one chasing her in my youth.

I was only eighteen when I met you. Young and dumb, like the elders named me when they caught me once I was twenty.

The memories that flowed into me when Lilith held me weren’t pleasant.

Your touch will never compare to the little luma. Perhaps if we had been different, I would feel something, but… No… Rem… She isn’t replaceable like you.

"Don't go!" She clung to me despite my warning.

Hah… If death changed you, it’s far too late for that. My heart already belongs to someone else who warmed it beyond belief. It belongs to the girl who cared more about my happiness than hers.

A sharp growl left my lips as my eyes shifted toward where Rem had run. Even though she was a Luma, she was plenty fast, which meant I had to get going if I wanted to find her.

This fucking elf… Fuck, all I ever wanted was your touch, but now it’s nothing more than a hindrance!

All these years, I idolized her while hiding all the bad parts of our relationship.

If you truly loved me, I would have been your number one priority, like I am for Rem, but for you, it was always your job—one you refused to leave and died for!

Her presence in my heart vanished, replaced by Rem, who loved me for me, flaws and all, not because I had power, not because of my genes, not because of my appearance, but for me. It reminded me of when I sensed an alluring presence entering this world.

Wait, was it even your mother who I felt or you?

The past, present, and future merged when I was stuck in that timeless prison. Thus, time was irrelevant to me, even though I felt it slipping through my fingers.

I… fucked up, didn’t I?

Rem and her mother shared a similar essence, which I was reluctant to see when I met the little luma.

I mean, they are both mothers and daughters, so it’s normal, but… Why do I feel this way? It feels like I’m forgetting something important. Fuck it doesn’t matter.

Lilith had been getting in my way since she arrived. When the chains sprouted, she tackled me into that building, keeping me from protecting Rem.

"What the fuck, Lilith!? Let me fucking go already!" I yanked my arm out of her fingers hard enough to hurt but not to rip them from her.

I had already taken her life once, and I had also once cared for her in another life. Her grey eyes flew open, and her jaw dropped upon witnessing that reaction come from me. Her expression did not affect me, though, even though we had laid together many times.

Something felt off about you, but I guess you’ve always been this way. My obsession with you just blinded me, but those blinds are off.

Even if it weren’t, I wouldn’t return to her side after tasting what genuine affection was.

Why did I ever love you, or were you a trophy I won when everyone else kept telling me what to do? Ah, you were nothing but an act of rebellion.

"But we have to—" Lilith tried to reach for me as I stepped away from her.

I took a few steps back from her.

Everything has been so messed up since you and I got to Allora.

My little Luma was acting out of character and losing herself to her curse.

I was right; we should never have come here.

Rem was the only thing in my mind, even when I was alone with the person I wanted for as long as I could remember.

That seals the deal. My feelings for you are undeniable.

Lilith had become to me what I was to her so long ago—something replaceable. No one could substitute Rem, so I had to end whatever Lilith felt for me. Even if it was something as simple as I reminded her of home, I didn’t care.

The elf was no longer mine or I hers.

Rem, you’re mine, and I’m yours, which is something I need to ensure you know.

Of course, I had failed miserably before that much was clear, but I would try to fix that. However, I first needed to end this.

"Look, a lot of time has passed since I last saw you. I won’t hurt you for getting in my way because of our past, and that’s all it’ll ever be.” I breathed, taking a few more steps away before shifting my gaze towards her.

Tears streamed down her eyes as she shook her head, “No—"

“Keep getting in my way, and I’ll rip you out, too. I’m not the man you knew either way. It’s better this way. So, now that you have a life again, live it without me. You did as much before." I smirked, not allowing Lilith to speak to me before I shifted and bolted after Rem.

Luckily, she was easy to find. Even though she had a lead on me, her scent was so familiar that I could tell it apart from everything around us. It wasn’t long until I spotted her in the illuminance mushroom forest.

Shit… Surely, you know about the dangers of being here, right?

I was about to step towards her when she broke down crying, freezing me right where I was.

No… I can’t do this halfheartedly like I’ve been doing this whole time. How do I… get you to listen to me?

Most of the time, my words always came out backward; even when they came out right, they didn’t reach her.

Twice, I’ve told you how I felt, and both rolled off you, so how… do I…

Everything I did lacked some aspect, or perhaps she simply didn’t believe me.

There was a time I thought no one would care for me, too, yet your scars seem to run more profound than I first thought.

This was probably the hardest thing I had ever done and was terrifying.

“Why... couldn’t it have been me? Why... was I born in this era? Ah... I never had a chance, did I, Alijah?” Rem sobbed, prompting me to wince.

Oh, baby girl, what are you saying? You… couldn’t have been born in my era. You would’ve been killed off or used as a slave. I… I’m glad you were born now with a family that no doubt loves you. Those brothers or yours assured me of that.

Even though I wanted to hold her in my arms, I held off as I knew it wouldn’t end well.

I… don’t know how to break you out of that denial. You’re the only one in my heart.

“Hah, I guess I can relish that victory. I made the craziest Lycan alive a big softy!” She declared into the void as my eyes twitched.

Oi… Yes… you did turn me into a softy. Why are you a random tornado?

“Ah… It isn’t enough.” She broke again as I released a heavy sigh.

I’ll… show you more if you let me.

Sadly, at that point, I felt she was radioactive and needed space to process everything.

However, now that I'm thinking about it, waiting for this stupid order to end, I’m just as foolish as you, Rem. I should’ve run to hold you and never let you go.

I stayed put, thinking it was a beast until she threw a rock at a poisonous mushroom. At first, I couldn’t believe she stared at the spores like they weren’t dangerous.

I mean, they were beautiful, but they were too fucking close to you. I quickly realized you wouldn’t move since you know you are Rem.

The luma probably didn’t know what the fuck she was doing, which ended with me getting fired up at her ignorance.

I guess we shared Lycan's temper since you quickly matched it.

It wasn’t the right move, but I couldn’t help but think if I hadn’t been there.

You would’ve been dead!

However, I ended up in a worse position than I could’ve ever thought, thanks to my anger.

With no one but myself to blame, I quickly found out how ludicrous Rem could be when she went haywire.

The answer is very. You know, if you wanted to assault someone and make it look like a rape, maybe stop crying while you do it?

Even in my humanoid form, I could smell her tears.

Really, what kind of rapist cries while they assault their victim? It’s really a first for me.

This was a welcome change after being on the receiving end for two years.

Of course, you forgot what I said to you the previous night. My consent, I never took it back, Rem, but be wary that I’ll make you cry the next time I get my hands on you. There are many things I need to do to you for all those bites and that little naughty kiss.

Instead of making her weep in pain, though, I would make her unable to live without me.

So... that little luma would never dare think of giving me away again.

Even though I wanted to take off what blinded me, all I could do was fix my clothes as she wanted, but they soon would come off either way.

If you want my pup, I’ll gladly put one in your womb or ten. I still haven’t decided how many to have with you.

Though, it wasn’t lost on me that when Rem ordered that, it was probably to make me hate her.

Stupid girl, you’re so readable. Fuck… This morning’s kiss… You’re so silly getting startled when I opened my mouth to let you in like I would never bite to hurt you.

However, ordering me to sit there for an entire hour was overkill. At least it gave me time to collect my thoughts and answer every ridiculous question she threw at me.

Chapter Text

Every one of Rem’s questions replayed in my mind as I couldn’t respond to her then, but once this order was done, she would hear me.

“Why... are you here?! Do you need to tell me so bad that you don’t love me to move on?! That you need to be freed! Don’t worry, I’ll free you when I see Vera! I can’t do it alone!”

You’re so stupid; I love you. That was why I’m here. I fucking love you. Fuck! I don’t want you to free me. I want to be with you for a lifetime!

“Hah... I don’t understand! Why are you here?! Where’s Lilith?! I really don’t understand!”

I’m here because you are. Fuck Lilith, all I want is you. Don't you get it? How many times do I need to tell you that? The only reason this world is still standing is because of you!

“Compared to her, I... am nothing to you. I know that! You don’t need to tell me!”

You are my everything, Rem. I need to tell you that and much more!

“You’ve loved her for thousands of years! So why are you standing before me when she’s waiting for you?! Is it because of the bond?! Is it because I forced you into this relationship we had?!”

Lilith is nothing compared to you. Rem, you never imposed anything on me.

“Don’t worry, Alijah. I always knew it was physical for you, even when I professed my love for you!”

It was never physical for me, Rem. Not from the moment I held you after I snapped out. Not from when I kissed you back in that cave. You’ve smitten me since I saw you dancing in that lake. I’m such a fool.

You’re the only crazy girl that would ever love me for me. The girl that puts me first, no matter what. I love you, Rem!

“I’m not as stupid to think I could replace her, so I kept my promise and brought you to her! I’ll release you. I’ll let you go, my love! I won’t be your captor anymore or hold your leash! I’ll free you so you can be happy, even if it kills me!”

Oh, you’re stupid, my love. So very foolish. You’ve been the best captor I’ve ever had. I don’t want you to let go of my leash. If you want me to be happy, don’t let me go, Rem!

A sharp growl left my lips as I slammed my hand onto the ground.

Fuck! Why did you order me not to speak?

I was so close while she was crying, trying her best to make me hate her, and all it did was the opposite.

You’re such a horrible evildoer.

Next time I got my hands on her, I would ensure she knew how to do it correctly.

There are so many things to punish you for, especially for going down on me like that and not letting me see your face as you did. It’s unforgivable.

A soft sigh left my lips as I shook my head.

No… this is partly my fault for not getting through to that thick-headed luma sooner. I knew you were struggling with the women from my past. Damn it, Rem! I thought you knew I love you because I hold you every night. Fuck, I had never done that with Lilith or anyone else.

Rem had gotten so deep into me that I neglected to reassure her she was the only one for me.

Well, not that it would’ve mattered when you’re so adamant that I would be happy with Lilith. You never noticed how happy you made me.

How cheerful I was already when traveling with her. I had to fix that so she would never think of that again, and I had to make sure she knew she had become my world.

“Now that Lilith’s here. There’s no way you’ll kill everyone, right?”

No, Rem. I’ll never destroy a world where you live or hurt those you love—something I would’ve never done for Lilith.

“If you are going to kill everyone, please spare my family. If holding me through all these months was a bother to you, then you can kill me, too. In fact, kill me when you’re free. Please, Alijah, end my fucking misery.”

My heart ached as I bit my lips.

But if at one point you vanish, Rem… The hate you’ve been holding back will come like a tidal wave intent on claiming the land. So… you can’t die, love, and I won’t kill you because if I do, it’d be the same as killing myself.

A few more moments passed before I suddenly felt like I could move.

What? It hasn’t been an hour get. So how...

A gut-wrenching feeling arose when I remembered what Rem had said the previous morning. I thought she was being irrational, but…

Were you serious? You wouldn’t dare leave me like that!

Taking off the cloth that covered my eyes, I quickly spotted the little gardenia scrunchy I had gifted Rem on the ground. I froze briefly before picking it up in my hands as my heart stopped.

“No!” I yelled.

A second later, I stuffed it in my pants before bolting towards the cave faster than I had ever run. I didn’t tie my hair as I returned to the cave, where Rem would’ve gone. There, I saw a scene that would be burned into my mind for the foreseeable future.

Lilith stood next to Rem, who was on the ground in a pool of...

What is going… on?

Before I could even realize what it was. The elf turned to me with the most wicked smile I’ve ever seen, and those eyes were full of sparkles as if she had done something good.

"Alijah, I have freed you!" She smiled at me with open arms as I saw her hands were full of…

My heart pounded against my chest when a familiar scent hit my nostrils, and I almost froze. Luckily, the second I heard Rem mumble something nearly audible, I closed the gap between us, ignoring Lilith.

Grabbing onto the little luma’s shoulder, I tried to assess how bad it was. My heart dropped when I saw what she had embedded in her abdomen.

No… No… No!

I had only seen them from afar but recognized them instantly as god artifacts. The pack wanted to grab hold of more of them, and I was sent as an envoy in Allora for them, where I met Lilith.

How did one get here?

My mind was a blur as a thought could barely form before another did.

"Alijah?" The elf called, confused about why I was on Rem instead of her.

I sat on the ground, picking the little luma up into my arms. Her trembling hands were holding onto the hilt of the blade as she weakly tried to pull it out.

But will that save you?

Usually, when stabbed, it was better to leave it in for the medics, but this was no normal weapon. Once a god artifact was activated, it was impossible to stop, yet I didn’t care. The impossible had to happen if I was to save Rem.

There is no way you can die! Not in my arms, not ever! If you do, then this world—

“Please spare my family...” Rem's words repeated in my mind.

I grabbed onto the hilt of the blade as hers loosened around it. Her eyes struggled to stay open, mumbling my name in a way I never wished it had come out of her.

"If... you want me to spare your family, then fucking live, Rem!" I snarled, tears streaking down my cheeks. “Do you hear me?! You have to live!”

My voice trembled as I had never once cried before. Not when Lilith died. Not when the elders did all those things to me. I never allowed anyone to see me shed a tear, but I couldn’t hold them back.  The fear of losing Rem consumed my soul.

Her hands fell off the hilt when I tried to yank it out of her, as it barely gave a centimeter.

No! I won’t allow the gods to take Rem from me. No one can take you from me. You’re mine and mine alone.

"I-I... s-sorry..." My little luma mumbled, blood dripping from her wound and mouth.

Chapter Text

A sharp groan left me as my hand trembled to hold the artifact, digging into Rem. It was a useless body reflex that wanted to take hold of me when the pain became somewhat unbearable. Noticing it, Vera’s gaze found me as every fiber of her being trembled.

"Don't you fucking stop." I snapped at her as my voice was still shaky.

Even though I tried to put a bravado, I was probably a worse mess than her. However, the harshness in my tone caused her to flinch, as it was never my intention, but it appeared she wasn’t as fearless as Rem thought.

Suddenly, Fenris grabbed onto my shoulder, causing me to get startled as my gaze briefly met with his. For a moment, I thought it was to draw me away from them, but that wasn’t the case. His hand tightened on my shoulder when his body radiated the same aura that I had, dulling the pain that was coursing through me.

"Keep going, Vera," He reassured his daughter, prompting her to focus on the task.

The twins gazed at each other before clasping onto my other shoulder and doing the same as their father had done. The power that the moon had given them was so different from mine, as theirs was more defensive than destructive.

The dog familiar that had come with Fenris and Vera, Ruzgard, wrapped his tail around the blade's hilt under my hand as another portal revealed someone I had longed to see, but not for the reasons I used to.

At that moment, I couldn’t appreciate the human Lilith, who had emerged from there. The weird cat, who had to be Shade, grabbed the hilt, too, as their mother wasted no time joining Vera and holding onto her hand.

The sting from where I held the hilt came back, but it wasn’t for long because a second later, I wrenched the dagger out of Rem as it slipped into my hand, launching it towards the forest.

Even though my hand was in agony like I had never felt before, it came secondary to the little Luma in my arms as I cupped her face.

“Rem?” I called out for her, but there was no response.

Wait… When did you…. Ah… Hah… When…

The color had drained slightly from her face, and her lips were paler than the forest around us. Her skin was losing warmth by the second.

When… did you stop breathing?

A snap happened within me as I knew that with that much blood loss, there was no bringing her back. My sudden surge in aura repelled everyone around me as I intended to take the entire world with me if she didn’t open her eyes.

A world without you has no meaning.

It was the first time I had ever felt like this. When Lilith died, it was painful, but it couldn’t compare to this. Her death made me want to make everyone who caused it suffer, but not destroy the entire world.

Her family could barely withstand my energy, struggling not to be blown away by me.

"Wake up! Please, Rem, don’t leave me!" I pleaded, grabbing onto her hand, only to receive no response.

Ah… our last memory together can’t be last night. It just can’t be!

Tears streaked down my cheeks as I buried my face into her chest. I didn’t think I had ever screamed as loud as I did then.

Suddenly, something grabbed my arm from a distance: a black tail.

Of course, a familiar would be the one to try and stop me. It’s too late… Everything is too…

"Alijah!" Lilith screamed from within the mist of red that covered everything.

The wolves appeared ready to pounce on me if they had the opportunity, yet the aura coming from me would disintegrate anything organic. The only one safe from my onslaught was my beloved, who was in her eternal sleep within my hands.

They all appeared ready for a fight, yet I was tired of it all.

“Leave… Let us be. If you get far away enough, you might live. My last gift to your daughter for giving me this sweet, bitter pain.” My voice didn’t feel like my own as I shifted my gaze towards Rem in my arms.

"Please listen! If you care about her! You’ll calm down, Alijah!" She suddenly announced, tears trailing down her cheeks as well.

All of them seemed ready to burst, as Vera already was.

"Hah… Don’t test me, Lilith.” I breathed, feeling snaps within me. “My light is gone! How can I calm down?! Tell me!" I snarled, only for those blue eyes to turn tender towards me.

A soft, bitter smile rose on her lips. "She might not be, " she suddenly announced, triggering everything that was causing me to stop suddenly.

Rem... isn’t gone?

My chaotic energy died down to the point I felt like a lost child staring at her. Her brown hair reached past her shoulders, and she appeared older than I remembered.

"What?" I mumbled, shifting my gaze towards Rem’s lifeless body before holding her closer.

It allowed Lilith to run to us as she lifted Rem's shirt, exposing her abdomen. The twin boys were comforted by the girl Lycan, who had come with them. I sensed something about her, but couldn’t care enough to figure out why, as my only focus was on Rem.

I watched her mother touch her wound, as a weird purple shimmer was coming from her wound.

It’s… Sealing up?!

A sigh of relief came from her lips, suddenly turning to her husband, who had hands clenched into fists, refusing to gaze at his daughter’s limp body. I didn’t know it yet, but this marked the second time he had failed to save her.

"Fenris, it's just as the witnesses said! She’s coming back!" Lilith announced, leaving me like she had said nothing.

What? What the fuck is going on?!

The alpha wolf, who hadn’t opened his eyes since I had calmed down, shook his head, fighting the tears. Rem always said her closest bond was with her father, and the pain in his expression said it all.

He thought he had failed his little girl, but we all had. Usually, purebreds hated hybrids, but he wasn’t like the ones I knew.

No, you truly love your little girl.

"Boys... Get ready." Fenris sighed, shifting his gaze towards his sons.

One pulled away from the girl Lycan while the other pleaded for her to return to Silverant.

I can’t tell the twins apart... You’re like carbon copies of each other.

Vera slapped her cheeks before getting up and glaring at me. They all seemed to be getting ready for a fight, leaving me utterly bewildered. That was when Lilith turned to me, eyes fiercely focused on what would happen next.

"Alijah, you must place her down and back away.” She suddenly declared as I cocked my head.

What the actual fuck? I’m… I’m not letting go of her!

If she was coming back, I wanted to be the first person she saw. I had so much to tell her, and I wouldn’t wait any longer.

"No! Are you insane?" I growled, holding onto my beloved tighter.

Lilith tilted her head, "Wait, Rem, didn’t tell you?" she asked.

I couldn’t figure out what the fuck this family was on. They all appeared to get ready for something, though.

I need to get Rem away from you all. Wait... how did they even get here?

"Tell me what?" I questioned as it was apparent I was in the dark.

However, before Lilith could answer, Rem’s body was suddenly consumed by a purple flame as the darkness that tainted her leaked out. The fire didn’t burn me at all. I stared at her in awe before Fenris yanked me away, and Shade snatched Lilith.

Throwing me on the ground behind him, he turned towards his daughter.

"And our tango begins, little wolf!" Shade announced, allowing Lilith to ride her.

Are they about to attack you after saving you? What the fuck is wrong with this family?!

To be truthful, everything felt surreal. As I felt Rem go, I was sure she had vanished from this realm, yet she was slowly getting up from the floor.

No… Something’s wrong.

"Rem?" I called out to my beloved Luma, standing up from the floor.

Fenris placed his hand between her and me, preventing me from taking another step forward. A sharp growl left me as his head turned slightly at me.

"Don't unless you want to lose your head." He cautioned, shifting his eyes back to Rem.

The fuck? Is that fear in your voice towards your daughter? Just what’s going on?

"Hey... Baby sis, are you there? Or is there someone else home?" One of the twin boys with a pair of golden earrings on his ears asked Rem.

The other seemed annoyed by it. His accessory reminded me of mine, though I used silver ones. This was the last thing I had to remember about my father, who died long before I awoke to my powers.

"Shut up, Aiden. That isn’t Rem. You know that very well." With a pair of blue-colored earrings on his ears, the annoyed twin hissed.

Ah… you must be Caden.

Aiden clenched his hands into fists. “I know that, but I can hope! It’s always worth the try! I don’t want to hurt her.”

I don’t understand. How can’t that be you? You’re right there in front of me.

However, that dark aura radiated out of her even more intensely.

Your chest glowed through your shirt in Azear, too. Is something like that happening again?

Rem seemed out of it, slowly turning to them.

"I would be more worried about you, or don’t you remember she killed all of those criminals back in Celestelia," Caden growled.

Ah… So you know…

The luma stood there blankly, staring at the sky above.

“I… never… wanted to see you like this!” Vera struggled to hold back the tears as my heart ached, too.

Suddenly, Rem clenched her fists before releasing them and raising her palms to shield her face.

"Ah, what a damn fool... So, this is what a full merger would be. Stupid girl, why did you do that out of all things?" She mumbled in a weird tone, and I couldn’t fully follow what she meant.

Merge? What the fuck does that mean?

Even though I struggled to keep up, that voice didn’t belong to my Luma. It lacked all the warmth that hers had.

Not once have you ever… Sound like that.

Even though Rem had returned from the dead, the person standing before us wasn’t her. My little luma was nowhere to be seen.

Chapter Text

The foreign voice caused one twin to react, but I remained frozen, unable to digest anything.

"Shit! It can speak this time?!" Caden questioned, voice quivering as Aiden turned to the girl with them.

It can speak. What? Why wouldn't you be able to? Rem…

"That didn’t happen last time," Aiden mumbled, grabbing the wolf girl beside them. "Sophie, go back to Silverant now, please."

"What? No, I can’t leave you guys or her like that!" She argued back.

Aiden winced, shifting his gaze toward his mother.

"Mom, please!" He pleaded, who opened a portal before he shoved the unsuspecting wolf into it.

Even though her eyes were full of tears, Vera also showed a fire that wouldn’t be quenched easily.

"Give her back!" She demanded, clenching her hands into fists.

I was slowly catching on to what was happening.

"Argh… Shit! Of course, they are here." Rem sighed, rolling her eyes before turning to Vera with a smirk on her lips.

"Oh... dear, why would I do that?" She questioned the young witch, who started to emanate an aura from her body.

It pissed Vera off even more, though. And the little luma knew it.

"Rem?" I called out, only for her to chuckle, turning to me slightly.

The white in her blue eye turned black, much like the beast I had fought in Azear.

"Oh, sweetie, she isn’t here right now. It seems that the dagger sealed her soul away within her body, or it might’ve been her emotions. Pity, really. I thought she was thicker-skinned, but you’ve always been the weak point." Whoever was in front of me informed me.

“What?” I mumbles, taking a step back.

There was so much I didn’t know, yet her family appeared more knowledgeable of what was happening. Even though I wanted to force them to tell me everything, this wasn’t the time or place. If Rem's soul was sealed in her body, then...

How will we get you back? Just how and why did that happen? The dagger? Emotions? Shit! There isn’t enough time!

It wasn’t like whoever was inside Rem’s body would give us time to figure it out, either. A hum came from her lips as she twirled in the same spot before smiling at us.

"Wow! It feels great to be in the flesh again, without dumb Rem trying to get back into the seat. I’ll miss our cat-and-mouse game, Remi." She clasped onto her shirt where the red was glowing.

I felt no sorrow behind her words, leaving me to flare up.

Is this what you were dealing with? Why didn’t you tell me? Why, Rem!?

Only she could answer those questions and wasn’t there to do so.

"And who are you?" Lilith asked as Shade took a step towards her.

Rem clicked her tongue momentarily, turning to face Lilith, smirking.

A role… Yes, a role to play. A voice echoed within me, startling me where I stood.

What the fuck was that?

"Oh, it’s you. You were successful in your mission to create the perfect candidate, and I’ll answer your questions about that. Though the curse you failed to remove seems to make this body unstable, which is an easy fix if everything plays out correctly.” Rem answered.

Successful mission? Candidate? Just what the heck is going on here?

"My name is Midna, the former goddess of death. Well, before being killed by my father. Does that answer your question? Oh, dear vessel, for the gate to our prison." She continued, shifting her eyes toward me.

Her eyes appeared void of expression as a soft frown formed on her lips.

Everything… is always about you. The voice erupted again, prompting me to avoid her gaze.

Am I going crazy? What’s happening to you, Rem?

"What do you mean by candidate?" Fenris questioned, arm still extended so I wouldn’t go for her.

When Rem came to rescue me, it quickly reminded me of the raiders when she wasn't fully present.

Is all this part of your curse? Or whatever is standing in front of me?

It called itself a god, though.

Wait... Were gods invading Rem's body this entire time?

I knew nothing of her struggles or why she was guarded about certain things.

"How nice of you to ask that father, but that’s none of your concern!" Midna snickered again, shifting her gaze towards the old wolf before raising her arm into the sky, triggering a pulse of energy from her fingertips.

In the distance, a loud screeching sound came as Aiden, Caden, Fenris, and I could barely handle it without covering our ears. It almost felt like it would burst my eardrums, like back at the airship.

Shit!

A few moments later, the blade I had sent into the forest returned to Midna, and she quickly caught it with her hand.

"To think the witch almost destroyed us with this. It seems she’s a thorn in my side and will have to be eliminated faster than I predicted. However, it's amusing for her to think that the book will truly aid her.” She paused, studying the blade that had killed Rem.

“No… Will it? Does it have a will? No… I can’t sense… What? Hah… Fuck, Fenrir, you always knew better, didn’t you? Damned fool…" Midna muttered to herself, finally showing some emotion.

The noise stopped, allowing us to breathe while she stared at the dagger that had left my hand bleeding and stinging. My healing appeared in disarray because of it. Luckily, it was localized to the site alone.

"To answer your unasked question, puny mortals, I’m about to take the lives of everyone alive on this continent and offer their bodies to the dead gods as payback for all of the pain we’ve been through.” She declared, snickering soon after.

However, when she suddenly stabbed the dagger into her hand, purple flames unexpectedly erupted from it. It was almost blinding before it died down as she tugged it out of her hand, converting the dagger into a sword with a singular swipe.

"Let you be reborn, sister of the stars," Rem mumbled, triggering the blade to shimmer white.

The entire event turned parts of my vision temporarily blue as the moment it dimmed. Rem was standing there with a god artifact I had never seen before.

Is it even the same thing anymore?

The blade in her hands appeared to hold the cosmos within, and her gaze found me. She smirked, noticing my awe.

Well, everyone's amazement.

The only one who snapped out of it quickly was Vera, who was ready for a fight.

"You’re crazy." She quipped, holding onto Ruzgard, who shifted into a more significant form

His appearance also changed from non-threatening to that of a bloodhound, as horns sprouted from his head and spikes appeared around his body.

Shade appeared large enough to want to compete with a lion or tiger, as her fangs, claws, and strength were undeniable.

"You say I’m crazy?" Midna chuckled, slicing into her arms.

“Rem!” I went to take a step toward her, but Fenris got in the way again.

"Not yet," He warned, eyes locked on the rogue goddess.

“What?!” I growled, only for my gaze to lock on my beloved’s body as blood dripped down her arm and onto the sword, prompting it to give off a red hue, much like the birthmark on her breast.

Good, it’s compatible with you. A voice noted, causing me to startle.

What the fuck?!

"You think I’m crazy! What’s ridiculous is how you mortals use our souls for your needs! Despicable, really!" Midna snapped at Vera, stabbing the sword onto the ground and triggering cracks to form in the soil below.

Not yet. The same voice announced within me.

I felt her stare at me momentarily before she turned to everyone again.

"For that, now, we’ll rule over you!" she declared, raising her hand to the sky and turning it red.

If they win… No… that can’t happen. Again, the voice echoed.

Once again, a blinding light shone as Midna chanted something in a language I had never heard before. However, her scream soon followed as the bright dimmed again, and black lightning surrounded her body.

Vera had somehow cast a spell on her, interrupting the incantation the goddess was trying to invoke. However, a sly smirk rose on her lips the moment it happened.

"I said to give back my sister!" Vera demanded, eyes illuminating a bright hue as  a purple aura radiating from her.

Even though she hadn’t uttered a single word out loud, a spell was active—a first for me.

How did this girl cast a spell without reciting a verse?

Her hand was bleeding, and her magic seemed to need sacrifices. Midna's brief smirk was gone, replaced by a frown.

"What the fuck did you do, girl?" The goddess questioned, feeling something off in her body, glancing at her hands that shook.

"Just a little contingency plan I had on my baby sister. I won’t let you do as you please with her!" Vera declared with a smile on her lips.

Heh… I was right. You’ve… This is good. The voice trailed off.

Was your… No… What the fuck is going on?

Midna turned towards me, "Alijah! Help me!" she yelled, prompting all eyes to fall on me.

I still didn’t understand most of what was going on, but it involved the soul cairn and the dead gods that lived there. Rem had filled me in on what was happening in the world when we traveled together.

Back in the village, I didn’t know what I fought until she told me about it. In my time, the elves and witches were secretive about what the soul cairn was. However, Rem informed me that what I fought was a fallen god or one of its minions.

Though it didn’t matter. At that time, I hadn’t gone all out because of the bond Rem bound me with, which prevented me from doing anything that could endanger people's lives. From a simple glance, it almost seemed like her family had a plan to get my beloved back or at least stop this god from going rampant.

Even though I wanted to run and protect her from everything that could harm her, what was in front of me wasn’t Rem.

"No, I don’t care what you want, Midna," I answered, taking a step forward as Fenris watched me closely.

It was apparent this old wolf didn’t fully trust me, nor did I trust him. None of them did, but they had to, as they would need me to get their Rem back. In the end, that was all I desired as well. After this fight, another reckoning would come, but I didn’t care for it.

No, all that matters is getting you back.

"Ouch, Alijah. You should be grateful. If it weren’t for me, you would’ve been—" Midna began, only for me not to let her continue.

"How dare you even try to take credit for that?! That wasn’t you! It was Rem! So, shut up and give her back to me!" I snarled, feeling my energy overflow, prompting her eyes to narrow.

I was about to use it for the first time to save someone rather than destroy them.

Good, I like that feistiness. Even though you don’t know what you are speaking about. You might reach her. The voice again radiated through my mind.

Even though I didn’t understand what was happening, I couldn’t fail her again.

"You are an ungrateful piece of shit. Too bad Rem will never come back. She locked herself up within herself. None of you even can reach her, at least not in your state." The goddess smirked at me.

Vera suddenly screamed in pain as weird markings appeared on her skin, even though Midna had not moved from where she was.

"Linking yourself to me was a mistake. Thank you for playing right into my hand, though." The goddess giggled, gazing at the young witch.

For later… The voice trailed off.

Midna stopped momentarily, shaking her head and gazing up at the sky.

"So be it. I was going to let you all live in slavery because of how important you were to her, but if you’ll be a thorn in my side. You might as well vanish!" she declared, covering herself in darkness.

Come now, show me what you mortals who adore him can do. Please don’t disappoint me, or I won’t let you have him! Including you, Valdios! The voice declared, leaving my ears ringing this time.

I shook my head a bit, not knowing if I had somehow gotten exposed to the hallucinogenic mushrooms back in the forest. No one else was saying anything about hearing something. So, instead of paying attention to it, I pushed forward.

The energy surrounding Rem's body transformed into a gigantic bird, which resembled a phoenix I once saw in a ruin I went to back in Allora when I was with the pack. The tail feathers were long, with red and blue circles at the tips. Her eyes were the same as my little luma's, and the dark aura from her made me wonder if it was even the curse that made Rem want to hurt people or if it was Midna.

However, that would be another mystery that needed to be solved, but getting Rem back was all that mattered. The situation made me realize that little Luma was more complicated than I thought.

Why didn’t you tell me everything that bothered you, Rem? I… I would’ve…

I always answered anything she asked of me straight on.

So why did you hide this from me? I have so many questions that only you can answer. Your mother says you aren’t gone.

Even the goddess stated the luma was still there, locked up. So, I had that hope to cling to. I would do anything to achieve Rem's stupid smile again. First, though, we had to eliminate Midna and reclaim Rem's body.

I would give her something to bite into if she wanted a fight.

"Oh, am I supposed to fear you?" I started clenching my fist as my aura radiated out of my body while the blood pumped within me faster.

Midna continued her transformation as Rem was somewhere in all that darkness. However, I didn’t know where exactly. I had to find that core at all costs.

"How dare you be rude to me, little grumpy wolf?" She snickered as her words caused a slight headache within me, yet I moved past it.

Nothing else mattered. The agony that my hand was in was secondary to what had to happen. Forcing my right hand into a fist, I glowered at the goddess before me.

Rem... I’m coming for you.

"Why shouldn't I be? You’re an oversized, glorified bird! If you refuse to give Rem back, then come at me! I’ll yank her right out of you!" I challenged, hesitating no longer.

I shifted into my beast form soon after as the battle of our lives was about to begin—one where everyone would push to the limit.

Chapter Text

Cackles erupted around us as the magnificent phoenix spread her wings wide.

"Fools, I’ll make it a merciful death for Rem's peace!" Midna snarled as Fenris and the boys also shifted into their wolf forms.

I was never much of a team player, but I would try to be on this occasion. Shade was the first to land a blow on her by whipping her tail forward. We had to figure out where Rem's physical body was, as the entire thing smelled of magic, allowing us Lycans to tell that the bird was an illusion made from it.

The problem was that although it was a mirage, it had a physical form. So, any blow from it would hurt any of us. Sadly, I was the first to receive a blow from her feathery tail as she swept the surrounding ground, making everyone retreat.

My injured paw was in agony, trying to move to dodge it, though the tail wasn’t what struck me. No, a rogue feather that sliced my cheek slightly, only to be repelled by my aura soon after.

Fuck, I’m rusty.

The sharpness of Midna's feathers was surprising, yet the pain it caused was nothing compared to what Rem had felt. Taking the opportunity, I climbed up her tail and back, only to be grabbed by Shade's tail as she suddenly yanked me away while the goddess's body gave off a blue hue. A second later, her feathers shot out from everywhere in her body.

Ruzgard retrieved the twins while Fenris dispelled everything with a shield he created. The old wolf’s power truly differentiated from mine. There was nothing destructive about it, no his was…

Protective…

It was another thing I could never accomplish. A slight chuckle left my lips as working in a team was something I wasn’t used to.

"I only did that for Rem." Shade huffed herself up.

Unable to help it, I broke into a more significant laugh. This familiar had a spark to her.

No wonder Rem always calls you mischievous.

"Doesn’t matter. That wouldn’t have killed me," I announced, freeing myself from her grip.

Rushing past Fenris's shield and his family, I dove into the onslaught of attacks. Midna was destroying everything around me as the ground appeared to have been dying off or burnt off. The moon's power allowed me to repel her deadly touch while the familiars kept the witches safe. Taking a leap of faith, I launched myself onto Midna's back and her head.

Swiftly and effortlessly, I shifted into my humanoid form, smashing my hands down on her, destabilizing the surrounding magic. I could never cancel out Rem's essence even more since I feared hurting her, which made me withhold back my true potential.

A mistake I never made before this moment. Midna's attacks stopped, allowing Vera and Lilith to send out chains from the ground, trying to bind the bird. Her brothers and Fenris caused the goddess to lose balance.

The shackles yanked Midna onto the ground, allowing me to shift back into my beast form and leap off her as the body fell utterly limp. For a minute, it seemed we somehow subdued the rogue goddess; taking the opportunity that she appeared less hostile, I jumped back onto her.

Her entire focus was on freeing herself from the bindings, which gave off a bright blue hue. There was a weird device in Lilith's hands, but I couldn’t analyze it further. Though it was one of those items, she had developed to fight the shadow demons that roamed our world.

She was a genius in her art, mixing it with the humans and elves to create many valuable things. The cuff I had endured at the raider’s hands was one of them. Though none mattered, I needed to find the core where Rem was before I could take a step forward and locate it.

The scent of blood filled the air when Lilith bled from her nose and ears, making it apparent that holding onto Midna was too much for her body to bear.

"Mom!" Vera cried out to her.

She and the boys were all distracted because of it.

I mean, who wouldn’t be? They are barely adults but in war…

Unlike the young ones, Fenris and I didn’t momentarily take our eyes off Midna as I tried to sprint to find the core. It was a matter of seconds before everything went erroneously.

"I’m fine. Concentrate!" Lilith warned her children as the twins held onto Midna’s legs with something similar to what Fenris had done before.

However, that lapse in judgment was all Midna needed. Fenris, who had joined me on top of her body, seemed wary as the device in Lilith’s hands turned into ashes, leaving only a light purple flame in her palm behind.

The oversized bird broke from the chains that bound her instantly as she released a screech while her tail almost crushed one twin. A second later, her movement threw Fenris and me off, but not before I saw a light purple glow from her chest near her neck.

Lilith fell to her knees, causing Shade to rush to her side. Even though he wanted to run to her too, Fenris couldn’t. Instead, he kept his eyes locked on Midna, who got back on her feet. On the side, Caden rushed to Aiden, who had received a nasty blow to one of his legs.

He was lucky she didn’t cut it in half. In seconds, a gust of wind rushed past us from the flap of her wings when she took flight.

"Shade... don’t hold back," Lilith huffed, struggling to get on her feet.

The cat nodded in response as black orbs appeared around her before they sent steady beams of light into Midna. Vera joined her mother to help her, triggering Ruzgard to meet Shade in her magical assault as he shot a blue beam out of his mouth.

Midna responded in kind in seconds, sprouting a purple fire from her mouth and into them, switching Ruzgard and Shade’s offense into a defense as they created a barrier around their witches. It wasn’t sure if the familiars could keep them up for long.

However, this was the only opening I could see. They fully caught Midna’s attention, making her ignore us wolves. One of us was down, leaving only three that could move freely.

“Dad! What do we do?!” Aiden questioned, holding onto his injured leg as Caden helped set it in place.

“I… I don’t know.” Fenris sighed, eyes darting around to see if he could spot anything to help him find his daughter.

Why… didn’t… wasn’t that bright enough for everyone to see? Or… is it because… Is everything because of the connection you and I shared? Including… that voice?

If we were still connected, then... I...

"Launch me to her chest!" I commanded Fenris and Caden, who stared at me momentarily only to catch on quickly.

Leaving Aiden behind, the twin joined us as his brother’s leg wouldn’t heal in time. I bolted to them without considering how wrong this could go, shifted back into my humanoid form, and jumped toward them. They used all their strength to launch me into the sky and towards Midna.

Fire suddenly surrounded the oversized bird as I remained like a projectile, headed to her. Once in the air and distant from them, I no longer had to hold back. The only things there were Midna and me as I let myself smash through her inferno and slam into her chest.

This was going to be a first for me. I had only ever used my power for destruction. So, I was unsure if I would destroy Rem and Midna's body, but there was no time to think.

All I want is to have you back!

With that hope and goal in mind, I pressed onward. Upon impact, my hand had somehow dug itself into her chest, allowing me to feel a loose arm at the end. Somehow, instead of destroying Midna's body, I had phased through it enough to reach the core.

All around me, it was as if time had frozen, as even the flames surrounding me seemed to have stopped in their tracks. Tearing my eyes off the scenery, without hesitating, I yanked whatever I had in my grip out of Midna's body.

The instant I saw what was emerging from it, relief washed over me when I witnessed Rem's face come out of the dark body that had dissipated. The color that had vanished from her face returned as I pulled her into my chest.

Even though we were in free fall, I only cared about her breathing in my arms.

Rem, I’m never letting you go!

Chapter Text

Once Rem was in my arms, it felt like I held the world in them. Midna's body disintegrated around me as we fell from the sky. Time resumed when a blow of magical energy sent us hurtling toward the ground, which was faster than I could react to.

Luckily, Vera caught us in a levitation spell before we hit the floor. It was intriguing how she could cast an incantation without uttering a word and at lightning speed. Setting us down on the ground, the young witch struggled to get up with Ruzgard's help.

Caden helped his brother return to where he was before, heading toward us. Fenris brought Lilith over as Shade ran ahead, shifting back into a tiny cat before stopping before me. Her paws reached my knees when I turned my gaze back onto Rem.

She was the only one who mattered to me among all who were there. Even though they were unknown, especially when the danger had passed, I could only stare at my little Luma’s sleeping face.

I didn’t know how pleased I could be to see her chest rise and fall with each breath. It didn’t appear like she was waking up, which worried me. She was utterly naked in my arms, too. All her clothes were burned off, and part of mine had been too, but luckily, I wasn’t in the same state as her.

A soft sigh left my lips as I wiped Rem’s hair out of her face before pressing my forehead against hers. The warmth that radiated from her skin into mine was something unreal.

“Rem…” I mumbled, voice shaking.

Even though she hadn’t opened her eyes, at least she was alive, and I couldn’t ask for more. A growl came from one of the twin boys as their glare was fiercer. They weren’t the only ones watching, yet I couldn’t help but meet their eyes.

They instinctively glanced away soon after. I didn’t know what my expression was, but it appeared like the boys didn’t like it, and I couldn’t care less. I was utterly unimpressed by them. Unlike the twins, Vera grabbed Rem's hand without hesitation, not caring how she was in my arms.

Leaving the grumpier one behind, Caden took off his shirt and handed it to me so I could cover Rem. A soft shine came from her sister’s hands, turning to her parents, who slowly approached us.

Lilith seemed weaker than when I first met her; then again, the gate had always messed with her internally.

Or was it something else that made you like this? Or is it the age?

"Mom... I can't feel her." Vera announced, making my heart stop.

“What?” I mumbled, gripping tighter on Rem's shoulder.

Fenris slowly set Lilith down next to us before heading towards his injured son, who was still healing. Caden had reset the broken bone, so all Aiden needed was to heal, but sometimes, it would take a bit to kick in, especially when it was an open fracture like he had.

Even though Lilith seemed exhausted, she touched Rem's head, closing her eyes. A blue shine came from her fingertips as we weren’t out of the woods yet. My little Luma wouldn’t be joining us soon if the goddess were to be believed.

"Rem, where are you?" Lilith mumbled, only quickly to stop.

Her body couldn’t handle the magic any longer as she reached towards her head, wincing soon after. Noticing her pain, her husband ran towards her again.

“Lily, are you okay?” He whispered as she laid her forehead on his chest.

“I… I’m okay.” She answered, voice barely audible.

“No… You aren’t.” He sighed, holding her close.

In her condition, there was no way she could perform what needed to be done.

You… seem more unstable than the last time I saw you.

It was good to see Fenris treat her like she deserved, though. Even though she was hurt and tired, Vera stood up, attempting to summon a portal to transport us.

"We can’t do anything here. Let’s return to the manor." She announced as I shook my head, unable to believe what they were about to do.

No, they don’t know.

Rem confessed to me back in Azear that it was the first time she had been near one of those things. Then again, she never told me much about her past. Either way, I wouldn’t let them take her in there.

Who knows what will happen to you in this state?

"You can't take her in there," I declared, gripping Rem tighter.

Vera glared at me as her nasals flared. Understandably, she seemed stressed, and I was adding to it. However, I also suspected she didn’t like me, not that I blamed her.

I’m not an enjoyable person. It was a miracle this luma loved me. Fuck… Rem…

"What? What the fuck do you know?" Vera lashed out at me.

The usual me probably would have said something snarky back to the human girl, but this was Rem's family, which meant I had to try to keep my cool. Although it was hard, I wasn’t in the giving mood after what had happened.

Even so, with Rem in my arms, I didn’t want to bother much with them.

For now, I’ll play nice. If you did this yourself, I won’t be able to help you.

After all, witches were better equipped to assist Rem than me if something magical in nature had happened.

"Back in Azear, a shadow beast attacked, and when she touched, it invaded her body, which is why you can’t take her into the Soul Cairn. Your brothers were there in the aftermath. They can tell you if you don’t believe me." I answered, meeting with her glare.

"So, you saw us there?" Caden’s voice squeaked, and his question shifted my gaze to him.

"More like heard. We were in a room you were about to open. Back in Azear before that... elf interrupted you." I answered, trying to hide my scorn for Wyatt.

My revelation caused the little wolf's cheeks to turn light pink, but I wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or frustration. He turned to Aiden, who was still healing from the fracture.

“Hey! I—” He started as a fight was about to ensue between them, but before they could argue, I turned back to Vera, whose eyes twitched and hands were tightly clenched into fists.

Be careful, little witch; you might blow a vein or two if you blow up.

"I won’t let you hurt her because you’re in a hurry to save her. Just be glad she’s alive for now." I added, shifting my gaze to Rem's sleeping face.

My heart ached as I winced, unable to hear her voice. "One step at a time. Right, Rem?" I whispered.

I honestly was happy that she was alive. Just seeing her have color on her lips was enough for me after seeing it all go away moments before, but I also wanted to hear her stupid voice ring in my ears.

"You’re a heartless murderer! Don’t pretend you care for her!" Vera yelled, standing up and trying to look threatening.

I turned to her immediately. This little bitch was about to get me going while I was attempting so hard to be a good boy for Rem.

"Vera, enough!" Lilith called out, trying to quell the situation.

This time, I wouldn’t stay quiet.

You… know nothing of the time I’ve spent with Rem! You have no right to judge us!

"Rem’s right. You’re a fucking bitch.” I huffed, triggering her to flare up.

“What did you just say?!” She snarled as her eyes gave off a bright hue.

“You act like you know everything. Don’t you get tired of trying to be a know-it-all?” I questioned, holding Rem tighter to me.

If only… we… could be one being that way… I wouldn’t feel this lonely without hearing you.

“You fucking ass hole!” Vera snapped, stomping towards me as I shook my head.

She wanted to appear strong, yet in my eyes, she was nothing more than a scared girl trying to understand what was happening.

“You’re right. I used to be a heartless murderer right until the point I met your pushy sister. To her, it didn’t matter how many times I attempted to hurt or shove her away.” I paused, shifting my gaze toward the little Luma in my arms.

“What?” She breathed, clasping onto her shirt.

“Rem didn’t know went to stop and kept coming until she shattered all the walls I had placed to keep everyone away." I simpered, keeping my focus on the girl in my arms.

I honestly didn’t care if they believed me, but Rem wasn’t going anywhere without me.

Never again.

The fresh blood on my shirt from earlier reminded me of my failure.

I’ll never neglect you again.

"So don’t pretend you know me because of stories you’ve heard, or have you not noticed you’re still breathing, even though you’re tempting me to do otherwise? I’m still a murderer, but I’m not heartless, and that’s because of your sister. " I huffed, keeping Rem close to me.

We would be at odds, as in her eyes, I saw nothing but rejection—not that I cared. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head slightly as my aura suddenly spiked, alerting everyone around me I was far from done.

“Unlike you all, I’m barely tired, and the bond no longer holds me back, little witch. So, ask yourself why you’re still breathing." I turned back to Rem's sleeping face as this would mark the first time, in the longest time, that I would be annoyed yet wouldn’t kill.

This time, it was out of my free will.

There are no orders or limitations. This luma has changed me.

"Just be grateful that your sister made me grow a god, damn heart!" I growled as my aura quickly diminished.

Vera turned her gaze away from me, shaking where she stood.

"Alijah..." Lilith called out, shifting my eyes onto her.

The genuine surprise on her face was unsettling to me. My eyes stung from crying earlier.

I guess my first impression of twenty years ago was a mortifying one.

In just a short time, being with Rem, she filled me up with things I thought I would never feel.

The daughter fulfilled a mother's wish. Fitting...

"Your daughter made your wish come true, Lilith. Though if she were to die, I can’t say I could keep myself from reverting. No, I’d destroy this world the instance she leaves it for good." I breathed, feeling a tear trail down my cheek.

No… If you leave me… That can’t happen again. How… can I get you back?

Fenris had been quietly assessing me the entire time before slowly standing up from Lilith's side. It surprised me he had been a good man to her, which wasn’t expected from a silver blood. Then again, his offspring was the one who showed me the light.

So perhaps I was wrong about that, too. After all, Rem, being a half-silver blood, never bothered me.

"So, listen when I tell you she can’t go there. I won’t let you do anything to hurt her. So, don’t make me injure you instead." I warned, wrapping my tail around my little Luma protectively.

Fenris grabbed a weird device from his pocket.

"Hah… Vera, stay with your Mom. I’ll get us a ship." He announced, walking to the side.

An airship?!

Shivers ran down my spine as the dreadful noises within made my ears feel like they would blow, but it was better than using that realm. Instead of arguing further, Vera sat down behind Lilith, tearful and frustrated.

Relieved, I held onto Rem, not wanting to let her go, as Lilith traced her fingers on the little luma’s hair before a smile rose on her lips.

"She really looks like she’s sleeping.” She breathed as Shade helped her stay up.

I nodded slowly, "Hopefully, she’ll wake up from her dreams soon." I simpered, tracing my hand on my little Luma’s cheek, which caused me to wince soon after.

That was when I noticed my hand was still bleeding from pulling the dagger out.

Those god artifacts are troublesome. If they could stop my healing like that, then Rem would have no chance against it. If I hadn’t pulled it out… You’d be…

Luckily, the effect was localized to my palm, as any wounds I had gained in the previous battle had already healed.

"How did this happen?" Lilith asked, wanting to know how her daughter ended up in this situation, which was something I could barely understand myself.

Everything had happened so fast that I hardly had time to process it all, though something was utterly clear.

"Your daughter was being extra stupid," I answered, fixing myself so Rem rested on my chest while I wrapped my arms around her protectively.

By the gods, I love you.

It was terrifying even to think that she wouldn’t open her eyes again, but I tried not to let it cross my mind. As Lilith stabilized, Shade found her way onto Rem's belly, curling into a small ball where the wound used to be.

"I see..." Rem’s mother mumbled.

"It’s complicated, but someone brought back your past life into the mortal realm," I informed.

Lilith raised her eyebrows, clenching her hands into fists before her expression turned into one I had come to know so well.

"So, this was Edna?" She scowled as her body shimmered lightly.

I glanced up at the sky, which had returned to its azure color.

"Seeing as she had Lilith's soul, I guess it was. However, I didn’t see how Rem was stabbed. When I got here, she was already on the ground, and Lilith's hands were full of blood." I answered, much to Aiden's displeasure.

A glare came from him, finding me to blame for everything.

"Why did you leave her?!" He growled, eyes shimmering.

I shrugged, remembering the previous night. Every fiber of my being wished it were different. A weird, painful sensation rose in my chest, remembering everything I wanted to tell this little luma but couldn’t.

"The stupid Rem didn’t give me much of a choice with the retarded bond and her orders." I sighed, biting my lip.

My tail curled around Rem's waist tighter. It also helped cover her up better than the shirt, but I only wanted her to get closer to me. It seemed like the twin who yelled at me was about to leave, but before he could, Caden grabbed his brother by the shoulder, shaking his head.

"Aiden, it doesn’t matter. We all failed her again." He sulked, pulling away from his brother before sitting close to me with his arms crossed.

"Again?" I mumbled.

In response to hearing me, Lilith shook her head slightly. "Oh, this isn’t the first time this has happened. When she was younger, she followed her brothers to the manor's roof when Fenris and I were out. She fell from there, and... something similar to this happened.” She paused, gazing at Rem.

“Though we weren’t sure it would happen again. Rem also woke right after we quelled her." She continued with a bitter smile on her lips.

She also wore that phoenix crystal on her neck, which meant she could never control the soul cairn. By how she looked, it was a miracle that her sanity was still standing—something Fenris and her kids probably had a part in.

To me, though, what was more worrisome was that these gods wanted something with Rem’s body, yet I couldn’t help but feel like a pawn in a chess game.

Is that really Midna’s goal? But those thoughts… Were they real?

"I see. So, this god has been trying to get into her body since she was younger?" I asked, wishing to know more, yet Lilith appeared unsure how to answer.

"Well, I don't know if it was the same one. Last time, it didn’t speak. It might’ve been, but I truly don’t know. Though, a few people died that day. She was more violent and wild than this time." Lilith bit her lip, glancing at Fenris, who was speaking on the device he had pulled out.

I had seen others with it when Rem and I were in towns, but she never entirely explained what they were for; she only told me that we had to avoid them at all costs.

"Fenris saved her that day, and today, it was you. Only red moon Lycans can reach her when she’s in that state." She added, prompting me to hold Rem tighter.

This is more complicated than I thought. You’ve been hiding much more than you needed. Why? Did you think it would bother me? Stupid girl.

"Rem... you should’ve told me. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked my little luma, knowing I would get no response, but it didn’t stop me from wanting one.

How I wish you’d open your adorable eyes and gaze at me like you always did.

"Obviously, she doesn't trust you." Vera took a jab at me, prompting me to growl at her, only for Caden to step in.

"If you think she doesn't trust him, the man she spent six months alone with until now while avoiding us. Fuck! She… must hate us!” The young wolf snapped.

“Caden…” Vera mumbled, wincing soon after.

From what I remembered, Rem said he was the more free-spirited, but that wasn’t the case. At least at this moment in time, he was…

"This has nothing to do with trust! Rem said nothing to anyone because she didn’t want to be locked up again! It was all we did for her! We failed her as her family in every way possible!" He slammed his fists into the ground as Vera bit onto her lip.

They were all a mess, and Rem was the only one who could bring them back together.

Silly, stupid girl, you were never a burden to them.

No, she was more like the glue that held them together. Just looking at how much each cared made it clear to me, filling me with relief. Rem would never be alone with them around.

And now… you have me, too. Stupid… Silly… girl… come home.

Chapter Text

A few hours passed before the ship came for us. It was a grueling experience I didn’t want to relive but had to for Rem's sake. Fenris and Caden had searched the surroundings for the elf but only found Rem's bag, which had been thrown into the cave during the fight.

The trip to the manor was unpleasant, to say the least, but at least I could stay near my little luma the whole way. I guess it scared them to take me away because I behaved while she was near.

Another silver-blooded Lycan named Ben came for us, along with his older sister, Amelia, a white-haired female Lycan. Unlike everyone else, she glared at me without fear and even pushed me aside to reach Rem.

Fenris had pulled the sword that Midna had forged from thin air from the ground, bringing it with us. That alone wasn’t surprising as it was something Cerberus couldn’t leave behind, but unlike other god artifacts, it failed to respond to him.

It didn’t respond to any of the Lycans on board, not that they handed it to me, but I doubted it would have activated. The sword didn’t seem to be the average god artifact we were used to. When we got to Silverant, I was glad to get off the noisy ship and be met with an even noisier town.

Music, people, and machinery were everywhere, yet there were no hovercrafts, as everyone took Lycan-powered carriages around town or walked everywhere. My poor ears could barely register what was happening as Rem had always avoided big cities with me.

I thought it was because Cerberus was looking for us, but I quickly realized it was much more than that. She was always thinking of me and how I would adjust to everything. The stupid luma had been slowly introducing me to places for me to get accustomed to, but the culture shock was imminent.

With her not around, I could barely register how advanced the main towns were. Zent in Allora had some advancements, but I bolted out of there before I got to analyze anything. Caden was the one who filled me in on what I was looking at once he noticed my amazement.

Luckily, I was a quick learner. There were screens everywhere, phones, and all the good stuff this family would introduce me to. They made buildings of cement or glass there, making Silverant the hub of every race.

When you said this was where everyone gathered, I didn’t believe you, but… it seems… everyone is coexisting here.

From the vibrant colors to the array of elves, humans, vampires, and wolves, everywhere was alluring to me. It seemed that the young witch I had once underestimated twenty years ago had accomplished much more than I gave her credit for. Fenris’s and Lilith’s dreams were slowly coming true, even if they were just in this town.

There were witchcraft shops on almost every corner, as Rem’s mother had made Lyari a haven for them—something I never thought I’d see. So much had changed between the races since the last time I had walked freely in this world, but there was still much hate present, too.

When Rem and I traveled, we always stayed near the elven lands, which, thinking back on it, was probably intentional on her part. Elves hated technology, though the blaze elves' towns were pretty advanced compared to the others.

You were always thinking of me and slowly adjusting me to the normal of this world. Fuck, Rem…

These new changes were intimidating, but luckily, I was too focused on my little Luma to care for anything else. Once at the manor, when the medics tended to Rem, I tried to stay out of their way even though I refused to leave her side.

The entire building was made of white marble. On the side was an elegant rose garden with a lovely dark oak gazebo. Wolf statues were around the yards, and the name plaques were irrelevant to me.

Probably some ancestor crap… but it seems my little love is a princess.

I was reluctant to leave her room until Lilith pulled me out and dragged me into the bathroom.

“Take a quick bath.” She huffed as a servant handed her some clothes for me to wear.

“What? No, I—” I tried to dismiss the idea, only for her to stand in the way again.

“Shower. The blood on you reeks!” She protested as Shade eyed me down.

One move, and she would try to put me in my place.

“Oi…” I sighed, shaking my head.

Fuck, this will end quicker if I listen to you.

Undoubtedly, she wouldn’t let me out of the bathroom until I was clean.

Rolling my eyes at her, “Fine.” I breathed, grabbing the clothes she offered.

“Good, throw the dirty clothes into the bin. They are charred and unusable, " she said as I closed the door once I was inside.

Taking off my shirt, I saw the dry blood on my skin from the previous night.

Rem's bites...

Seeing them made me want to punch right through the walls of this room, reminding me of how powerless I was to stop her from getting hurt. Throwing the dirty clothes into a nearby basket, I skipped the pool that seemed like a bathtub and headed straight into the stalls nearby.

Just being away from Rem made my anxiety skyrocket as I turned the nob to wash off the blood. That was the easy part, but to get rid of the feeling within me was another thing. I felt like shattering right where I was.

Screaming… at the top of my lungs is a demanding desire to quell down, but if I do, they won’t let me near you. Fuck… what do I need to do?

No matter how much the water splashed over my body, the red never seemed to go away, especially the one in my hands from when I held her close.

Why… did this have to happen? I thought I had all the time in the world with you. Why… was it… No… when I see you next time, I’ll… Will there be a next time?

Once clean, I shook off that thought and exited the stall. There, I saw a towel near the clean clothes they had given me. I was in such deep thought that I never noticed when they placed it. Closing my eyes, I dressed, readying myself for whatever happened next.

But it wasn’t enough. My mind is a mess, and I don’t know… I don’t know how to start to fix this. Is there any fixing? I… Rem… What do I do now?

When I exited the bathroom, I stared at a Lycan female with black hair while her brown wolf mate was beside her.

How did I know? Well, the wolf was staring a hole into me.

He was studying me while ensuring his beloved was safe—something I failed to do.

“Hey, my name is Melody, and this is my husband Liam.” She started, holding onto something in her hands.

Little did I know she had a story for me, one I was not quite ready to hear, especially after everything that had happened. The gods were eager to test me.

"Alijah, I’ve wanted to meet you for quite some time." She paused as I shook my head.

This… isn’t… I need to be with Rem.

Ignoring her, I tried to step away from them, but the girl with the twins stopped me.

“You…” I mumbled as a sharp growl left my lips. "Look, I don't have time for this.”

Even with the sharpness of my tone, she wouldn’t budge.

I don’t want to hurt anyone, but… if you insist on keeping me away from Rem… I’ll…

"I won't take much of your time. Plus, Rem’s being washed by Amelia now; you shouldn’t interrupt them." Melody informed, narrowing her eyes at me.

What? Your Aunt is bathing you? Shit! That means the medics found nothing! You aren’t awake!

That alone made my heart ache like it never had before.

“What? No…” I winced, stepping back onto the wall as it was the only thing that kept me steady.

She slowly closed the small gap between us before grabbing my hand. “Here, let me treat you.”

I yanked away instantly, “I…”

At that moment, I should’ve walked away. However, the only thing that kept me was the familiarity in her essence.

Brother... Why am I sensing you in the females?

“It’s okay. I won't hurt you.” Melody reached for my hand again as her daughter stood beside me, studying me like her father.

"What do you want?" I grumbled, trying to hold myself back from doing anything Rem might dislike.

Taking the opportunity, Melody snatched my hand again.

This girl’s fearless, just like Rem.

I never expected someone other than my luma to care if I was injured or not.

Did Lilith tell you?

The wound had stopped bleeding, but it was still raw.

"I wanted to talk to you about your brother." Melody declared, leaving me with my jaw dropping as I pulled away from her again.

You are insane! Why the fuck would I want to know about Lucan? He left me in that forsaken place to die! I… I… don’t need to hear a single thing about him!

"Enough, that doesn’t interest me." I huffed, triggering her eyes to dart up towards my gaze.

Liam shifted stances as I felt a small smile cross my lips. He wouldn’t hesitate to jump me if I made any movements to hurt her.

I don't desire to make this house a blood bath. All I want is to be with Rem. Can’t you all just let me be?!

Instead of backing off, Melody pouted and clasped my hand again. "I wasn’t finished treating you! Stop acting like a small child! You remind me of Soph when she was three!" She scolded me, leaving me with my head tilted.

Is there something wrong with your brain, or is this bravery?

Usually, those came together, but this was on another level, which reminded me of Rem's boldness when we first met.

“Oi…” I breathed, feeling defeated by her.

Her amber eyes softly gazed at me before going back to bandaging my hand.

"You think Lucan abandoned you, but he didn't." She declared.

My eyes widened, “What?”

How do you know that name? Records? No…

I doubted they had any documents from my original time, or perhaps they did, but the elders were never the sharing type.

Then again, Fenris is their alpha. No… you… just who are you?

Her essence was so similar to Lucan’s that I couldn’t help but wonder if…

"When the elders trapped you, the eternal witch Edna cursed your brother, rendering him useless to help you.” She started as I listened.

“It was a generational hex that cut him from his beast self, which meant..." She trailed off as I shifted my gaze away.

“He was turned into a runt.” I finished her sentence, prompting her to nod.

Edna… Just…

Her name kept popping up everywhere, leaving me unsure of what to think—Rem's explanation of what was happening helped.

It seems a pure one slipped through the grand purge the vampires did. It was easy to kill the diluted ones, but a real one? That will be…

Before I was born, most races declared them too powerful to exist. Eternal witches were female humans with unique traits that allowed them to control time. Nothing compared to god artifacts, but it could be powerful enough to affect other things.

Usually, the most they could do was stop the clock for themselves, turning them immortal to the passage of time, though some could even control time to the point of affecting others. The records from when they were more prominent were all gone when the vampires destroyed their homes.

Not that I ever tried to research them back in my time. These witches were dangerous because the older a witch became, the stronger they were.

It is terrifying to think that someone from my time is still alive, but it appears you are older than that, aren’t you? You somehow found your way into my prison in that multidimensional world. How you could contact me always intrigued me, but it seems I was an idiot then.

The witch that contacted me when I was in that dimension never revealed her face.

Clever old hag.

At that point in time, I didn’t care about how I left that realm.

No, I only cared about getting out and when it would happen. You were a means to an end, and I was planning on killing you after your usefulness was done, but to think… you would’ve tried to use my obsession with Lilith to control me.

I wasn’t the only fool, as she hadn’t thought it through. Back then, I would have killed her and then claimed Lilith for myself, but if she used Rem...

Shit... I don’t know if I won’t bend to you then. I’d give anything for my little Luma.

When Melody was done covering my wound, I gazed at my hand, unable to understand why she helped me.

"You might not want to know, but I had a moon elf cast quite a painful spell to see the memories of my ancestors. Lucan was going to fight the elder Lycans in their decisions when Edna took away his ability to do so." Melody informed me as I sighed.

Moon elves could project one's memories, whether deep or forgotten. If the proper ritual were set up, they could tap into the memories of past ancestors. However, the deeper they went, the more painful the experience became.

In my time, no one would willingly submit to those incantations, especially if they didn’t have a name.

"Why are you telling me this?" I placed my hand down back to its original spot, shifting my gaze back onto her as the gentlest smile rose on her lips.

"Because Rem was right, and we didn’t listen to her. What they did to you was wrong, Alijah, and we should’ve been there for her and you." Melody answered, turning her gaze towards her husband.

“I… don’t…” I trailed off, shaking my head.

"No, we’re also technically family. So, I didn’t want you to think badly of my great-grandfather." She bit into her lip, meeting with my sight again. “Your brother died a year later after being cursed when he tried to get you out, even though he was powerless and was killed by the elders for his treason. His wife and daughter lived, though." She added as Sophie pulled a letter out of her pocket.

"We found this preserved in one record from the Lycan libraries in Malcerem. There’s a lot more there if you want to look later. It was meant for his wife, but he would’ve liked you to have it." The young girl noted, trying to hand me the letter.

My eyes narrowed as I rejected the letter by turning away and walking past them. However, before I got too far away, I shifted my gaze towards the family trying to reach me.

At my brother’s descendants...

"Lucan's words to his wife, that’s between them. I don't need to know them." I voiced as a weight was lifted from my shoulders.

Damn, I can’t believe your line has persevered until this point. Even though they murdered you for trying to save me, part of you lived on until this day. I…

Even though her words were hard to believe, I didn’t sense a hint of deceit.

Ah… I’m sorry for doubting you, big brother, but give me a break. I was in an awful place back then. I… I’m so sorry for putting you in that position. It was never my intention to tear you away from your family.

"T-Thank you for letting me know, Melody." I smiled, prompting both girls' cheeks to turn pink.

Liam narrowed his eyes as a frown rose on his lips. It appeared I still had my charms, not wanting to use them on anyone other than my luma. Without wasting another minute, I went to Rem's room to see they had changed her into a dark blue gown.

Seeing her resting on the coziest bed I had ever seen was comforting. Vera was in the room with her before I arrived, but she quickly ran out when I got there.

I… don’t have the energy to care.

If I were the old me, that would probably have interested me, but all that filled my mind was how to get Rem. Sitting beside her, I grabbed her hand, hoping she would squish it back, but it never came.

The warmth of her hand sunk into my skin as her face was so peaceful that I struggled between wanting to see her wake up and letting her sleep like this forever. However, wanting to see her smile and hear her outgrew everything else.

Though I would probably wait an eternity for her to return if there was the hope of Rem waking up, sadly, even with time, no one grew closer to figuring out what was happening. Two weeks passed when tensions ran high in the house while my little Luma slept through it all.

Sometimes, throughout the day, I could hear Vera screaming down the halls as I tried to keep to myself. Her frustrations were primarily directed at herself rather than anyone else, which was disheartening to hear, but I wanted to ignore it all.

My role in this was to stay near Rem while the medics checked her.

I’m no healer or warlock to comprehend what’s happening.

The twins tried to find any lead about the sword, hoping it would guide them to Rem’s savior. They traveled constantly between Celestelia and Allora for any clues, while Fenris and Lilith tried to find every type of healer on the planet to help them.

Each of them left us empty-handed with nothing to hold on to.

Luckily, the family had left me alone since I had been behaving while I was with Rem.

I was a far cry from the man they used to fear, and that’s all because of you. Why… won’t you come back to me?

Even though I stuck to my lane, I could feel the looks of discontent every time I walked around a corner. Whenever Caden was home, he brought me food to Rem's room.

“Here so you don’t starve.” He huffed, placing the tray nearby.

If it weren’t for his constant hovering, there would be times I wouldn’t eat. Every time, I couldn’t help but chuckle at the young wolf’s demeanor. He confused me since I usually went to the kitchen to find at least one meal for the day.

I never expected anyone to do that for me.

Ah… I couldn’t care less, though. All that matters is waking Rem up, and they seem to fail miserably at it.

Well, I was too, which left me feeling utterly useless. It was probably the only reason I hadn’t blown up at them for their lack of results. My powers, although significant, weren’t meant to save anyone, leaving me to wait and hope someone would find something soon.

I had always been a patient man, but it seemed two weeks of being deprived of my little Luma were becoming too much for me after getting used to hearing her voice for the past six months. The sudden emptiness of it being gone was getting to me.

One day later, I found myself restless, sitting beside Rem in her room. Even though I tried to stay in my lane, I started to snoop around in her room, only to find her bag in one closet. It had been thrown there, forgotten in the chaos since we arrived.

A silly idea popped into my head at that moment.

Perhaps you'll return to me if you hear some of your favorite music.

It was a ridiculous thought, as no magic could break with a simple sound, but anything was worth a try at this point.

Chapter Text

Digging my hand into Rem’s bag, I felt a book instead of the headset I aimed for. Instinctively, I pulled it out to see a little pink book she wrote in occasionally when we had a break from our travels. However, she would never let me peek at it.

Holding it in my hands, curiosity filled my heart as I glanced towards the shelves to see a slight purple shimmer coming from another there. Taking a step towards it, I noticed another tome there; this one was light blue instead of pink and had little doodles on the cover.

I grabbed them both before sitting next to Rem and opening the oldest one first, which started five years ago.

Day 1:

Today, I turned fifteen, and our birthday was an utter disaster. So, I decided to start a journal. Finally, I know this is a long time coming, but I thought it was stupid. I mean, I tried before, and it never worked. Maybe it’ll be different this time even though I don’t know what to write.

Though I honestly feel suffocated in this house, and there isn’t any escape. Amara suggested I write my feelings down, which is stupid! I know she said it would help me cope better, and you know what? Perhaps she’s right. Maybe writing can be my escape or something.

Even so, I’ll try to talk to Mom tomorrow about my situation. Perhaps she’ll finally let me join Vera and the boys at school. After all, I have been stable for a while now, and I haven’t hurt anyone recently.

Day 2:

This is so stupid! Why don’t Vera and Mom understand me?! Why do I have to be trapped here even though I feel fine?! I know I stayed behind initially because I didn’t want to hold anyone back, but this house is a cage for me now!

Why do I have to be trapped here? I haven’t had an episode in two years! Why don’t they try to understand me or meet me halfway?! I don’t get it! I will find what they hide from me tomorrow, and I swear!

Day 3:

So, I snooped into my mom's office, trying to find some document stating that I was a freak. Instead, I saw this portrait of the most beautiful man I had ever seen. The moment I saw it, I almost felt like I had been struck by lightning.

Dad always told me about his feelings with Mom when he first met her, though this worries me! Don’t tell me a picture is my soul mate?! This is unbelievable! I’m unbelievable! Falling for a piece of paper, I can’t be any more comical even if I want to be!

It’s just dandy! Instead of information, I’m doomed to love a piece of paper?!

Day 4:

Okay! Things are getting freaking weird. I had a crazy dream of meeting the man in that picture last night, but he was the biggest jerk I had ever seen! The grumpiest person ever! He didn’t let me even talk to him before walking off!

I won’t fall in love with a jerk like that. Then again... Everything’s not normal. That man is a picture and a figment of my imagination. By the gods, I’m a strange one. Vera might be right to keep me away from her friends.

Day 5:

I had another dream with that man; he was the same way! I don’t get him at all! Mom still denies me, too. This is just the worst. No one wants to get to know me, but I’ll keep trying! I have to keep striving! Someone will accept me, won’t they?

It continued like that for a while until one day...

Day 50:

The grumpy wolf finally spoke back to me! It only took me two months for him to say hi, but he did! I’m so happy! Why did something like that make me so happy? I don’t even know, but I am! This is the beginning of something! I feel it in my bones!

If only he were real. Then again, no one would ever love a freak like me. Maybe he should be just a dream. That way, he can’t hate me as my siblings do. Then, perhaps I’ll be happy one day.

Day 80:

That man is still the biggest grump I have ever met, but he’s slowly talking to me. I don’t know why I have these dreams, but they’re the only time I feel free. I look forward to them, especially getting to see this wolf that seems to be hurting.

I wish I could soothe it somehow. If only he would rely on me. Then again, these are just my crazy thoughts. Why do I have it hard in my dreams, too?

Day 120:

These dreams keep happening, and I have told no one about them. No one would care either way and every time I have them, it feels like I’m getting closer to the grumpy wolf. I started calling him by that nickname, mainly because it annoys him when he hears it.

He doesn’t know my name, nor do I know his, but strangely, I don’t care. Did I mention he’s cute when he’s irritated? I want to push more buttons later, leaving me to wonder how many I can get away with before he blows!

This will be fun! I've never had a friend before, but this is as close as possible! I better enjoy it while it lasts!

Day 140:

It has taken me a while, but I finally got the grumps to come to a blossomed forest that we managed to manifest within that dream-like realm. It was full of flowers. Of course, it was just a fantasy, but it was our first time doing something there!

Gosh! I’m so excited to do even more things with him! This is so stupid, though! I still haven’t told anyone about these dreams, but I want to keep them to myself. I feel happy with this black wolf and don’t want anyone to ruin it.

I want this to be my little piece of nirvana.

Day 360:

So, Mom finally told me about the man in the picture five days before my sixteenth birthday. He is an actual person that exists, and his name is Alijah. Mom says he’s a broken and dangerous man, but every night I see him, I realize she has it all wrong.

I don’t think he’s beyond saving or delusional. He seems sad and lonely. Although he is probably just an illusion made from my thoughts, I might be delusional, as always. What’s worse is that he’s already hung up on someone!

Figures that the man that I fall for is already taken. Well, in my dreams, it’s just me and him there. I can try to make him mine there. After all, it’s my dream! I should be able to make my fantasy come true! Plus, I won’t take no for an answer!

But the real him will never be for me. It’s heartbreaking, but I don’t know him for real. He probably resembles nothing like he’s in my dreams. Right?

Day 400:

Alijah, I keep dreaming of you every night. I can't stop these feelings from trying to consume me. So, I’ll try to write them down on this piece of paper, hoping it’ll be enough for me. Even though I had spent more than a month studying you, I can’t see you as Mom does.

Are you really that dangerous? To me, you seem just to be like any other person. No, you’re much more than just that. I wish my dreams were a reality. Maybe then, you’d be mine.

For now, all we do is talk because you see me as a brat, but what if I can change that? I want to mean more to you, my grumpy wolf. Is it possible? Why is it so hard for me to accomplish this in my dreams?!

It should be easy!

Day 739:

Today marks the day I met Alijah, who has been in my dreams since I saw your picture two years ago. Guess what! I finally kissed you today! I took my chance when we were in a forest in Niamoor—a place I wanted to visit one day.

Yeah, I know you’re hung up on an old love, but in my dreams, only you and me are there. I forget about it when I’m there with you. All my worries melt away, and I live in the moment. However, what is more surprising is that you didn’t shove me away!

Though you gave me a full ear about how a kid like me shouldn’t be attacking adults, I don’t get it. You’re just twenty-three, and I’m of official legal age! Here marks my counterattack! Beware, Alijah, I’ll claim your heart! Even if it's just in these silly dreams.

A soft chuckle left my lips as I continued to read through her dreamscape.

Day 760:

After a month of hardships and evasions, today marks a glorious occasion! Alijah... finally kissed me back. It was sweet and short because Vera woke me up! The gall of her. However, she was having one of those nightmares of hers. So, I couldn’t be too mad about it.

Maybe tonight it’ll be even better than ever before.

Day 761:

Yep, it was better! No, it was glorious! When my grumpy wolf saw me, I couldn’t help but be skittish because of the entire thing, but you closed the gap and kissed me before I could even get a word out!

The feeling of your tongue on mine was extraordinary, which led to something more, and I was happy about it! But then you halted midway! Even though the slight touching left me in a jumble, I quickly noticed something bothered you.

When I saw that troubled expression on your face, it stopped me in my tracks. I would never force you to be with me. Even here, you have someone else in your mind. Is it your past love? No! I refuse to give up!

This is my dreamland! I thought before hugging you from behind, which caused you to chuckle as a soft smile rose on your lips. That’s when I realized I wanted to preserve it forever. You deserve to have one permanently.

Day 800:

After another sweet dream with Alijah, I had an unpleasant episode of my curse. Vera made me overly angry, and I hurt her because of it. I guess I finally figured out why Mom never let me go to school, even though I appeared stable.

Whenever I get angry, things can get ugly, like a bomb waiting to go off. After a point, it’s like I lose my sanity and black out before the taste of blood snaps me back out. With my parents' position at stake, they can’t afford a liability like me, especially with her and Dad's kind of work.

It seems I’ll never live an everyday life. The maids locked me in this room since it happened before they took Vera away. I hope she is fine but... I can still smell the blood in my hands. Why did I do that? Why did I want to hurt her?

Mom and Dad will be angry with me when they get home. I know it.

Day 801:

Last night, my grumpy wolf, Aka Alijah, noticed I was feeling down and tried to make me feel better. It meant the world to me how you tugged me along in the dream toward different places. Our scenery constantly changed until we arrived where you wanted to take me.

We stopped by a popular place in Lyari, where cherry blossoms bloom yearly. I had never been there, but you said your mother visited it when you were younger. This ritualistic event happened soon after your father died fighting in a war, right after you were born.

It was probably something my imagination created to cheer me up, but it was a lovely story. So, I’m recording it here to remember when I feel alone. When Freya’s birthday came along, she’d always drag you there to celebrate it.

Your brother, Lucan, was already training to join the Lycan army while you were still a young pup. So, he always missed those trips. Yet in this particular one, she gifted you with silver earrings and the ones you’d always wear after that day.

They used to be your father's before he died in an incident after an altercation with a vampire. That day, I listened as you explained that the earrings have a unique enchantment to cancel out the ring that witchcraft spells cause on Lycans.

I stayed quiet while you spoke, wishing you’d share more with me. After chuckling while remembering things in lighter times, you mentioned that you hated every time your mother took you there, calling it tedious and unnecessary. Still, you called yourself a fool because you never knew how much it meant to her to go there.

After your mother’s gift, you asked her why she took you there every year on her birthday. That was when your mother told you this was where she had met your father and where she felt closest to him.

So, she would celebrate her birthday there because she knew he was there with her, and it was where his essence was strongest for her. By then, my heart was full of knots when I gazed at you and asked why you brought me there.

That was when you turned to me, reaching your hand towards me with one of your brightest smiles.

“I want to share this scenery with you. It used to bring me warmth back in the day before she was gone. It still does, even if I haven’t seen it in years, but most importantly, I want to see you smile, little dove.”

What? Why do… why does…

At that moment, I ran to you and hugged you so tightly that I felt like I would squeeze you in my arms. Even though it was just a dream and probably fiction, I wanted to hold you, Alijah, and this time, I didn’t take a no for an answer. Luckily, you didn’t say it either.

Instead, you responded to my sudden kiss with one of yours, and I was ecstatic. After the crappy day I had, all I wanted was to be with you, and before I knew it, I was under you. You held me in your arms under those beautiful pink petals for the first time.

Throbs pulsated through my body as I couldn’t take my eyes away from the pages.

By the gods... Alijah, I wish I could’ve stayed in that dream forever with you. Being filled with you was the best feeling I had ever experienced; it was the first time I felt alive since falling off the roof all those years ago.

Too bad it ended the moment my eyes fluttered open today. I had never felt so lonely since waking up from dreams with you. Even though it was my first time with anyone, it didn’t hurt because it was a fantasy I made up.

Ah… how screwed up am I to fantasize about a man this much? All I felt last night was a feeling I would never know in my flesh. However, tonight, I want to repeat it. Being in your arms is the warmest I’ve ever felt, Alijah.

So, I write it here to document it for a lifetime. By the gods… forgive me for using you like this. Please let me feel it repeatedly until I can believe it’s real. I love you so much. Is it weird I still feel your lips on me?

After reading that, I was in utter shock. When Rem talked to me about her dreams, I thought it was cute—something happened because of her imagination, but what she wrote astonished me.

That’s… not possible. How… did you know that?

Every note from her journal seemed eerily familiar to me, but for her to have known my memory like this was impossible.

No one knows how I got these earrings; my brother wasn’t there. So… How… do you know…

I glanced over at Rem's peaceful sleeping face. I touched her cheek, unable to find any explanations to help me understand what was happening.

"What did you do, Rem? How did you know that?" I mumbled as the warmth of her cheek pushed me onward.

I knew your magic was special, but for it to have connected me with you. Is that even possible?

"Were they real? All of them? Every day? Impossible...” I paused, feeling stings in my chest as I winced thanks to a headache.

Closing my free hand against my face, a faint picture came into mine, and it quickly faded again.

Huh? What was…

Shifting my gaze back onto Rem, “How did you know that unless it came from me?" I asked, wishing for a response that would never come.

These two books contained the answers to all my questions, yet it was hard to believe since I couldn’t recall anything even though it felt so familiar. When she told me about my dreams, she also asked me if I dreamt back in that prison of mine.

I had been in suspended animation while my thoughts were rampaging through my entire being. There were also times when my awareness fully returned when the eternal witch spoke to me, but I couldn’t recall any nighttime endeavors, such as sleep or dreams.

Heck, I didn’t even eat or do anything else while in there. So… why do your words sound so similar? What am I… missing?

Shaking my head, I turned my gaze towards the books before me.

Wait… is it possible you were why I crashed into Lilith’s dream-like spell? I thought our souls had called out to one another back then, but what if it was a coincidence?

Time there was warped, though. The past, present, and future all existed in one place while I was in the middle.

In those moments when my awareness slipped back into nothing, did I daydream or meet you?

Every time I tried to recall the person within those fantasies, her face or name never came to mind.

I can’t even recall anything we did. No, I remember feeling happier than ever after I woke from them.

Without remembering anything in those moments, I usually smile like an idiot.

Did I really call little you a brat? Sounds like me, doesn’t it?

Sitting back in my chair, I noticed it was already afternoon. The moon was gracing me when I started to read her journal. Nothing would stop me from continuing, even though I had not slept or eaten.

It appeared Rem's brother wasn’t there since no one had brought me food. However, it didn’t matter. My hunger wouldn’t stop me from reading my little luma's words, even if they weren’t meant for me.

But… feel like you’re writing to me, aren’t you?

Rem continued to profess her growing love for me on each page I read. It warmed my heart in ways I thought weren't possible until...

Day 1816:

After waking up again after a lovely dream with Alijah, I found Mom and Dad acting weird. In fact, everyone in the manor seemed to do the same. Vera, Caden, and Aiden wouldn’t tell me anything either.

That’s when I overheard that my grumpy wolf might come soon. I’ll finally get to meet the real you! A dream... I wonder if... No, that isn’t possible, Rem. I need to tell Mom about the incantation I’ve been working on when she arrives tonight.

I’m sure it’ll work! Alijah, I’ll save you even if it’s the last thing I do! I promise! I need to do this if you’re anything like you are in my dreams!

Day 1817:

Even though Vera had already helped me create the spell, Mom flat-out denied me. All I have to do is get close enough to activate it, which they refuse to help me with! This is so frustrating. Why do I have to be the weak link?! I want to be more than just a burden to everyone!

Why keep me away?! I want to meet Alijah, too! Nothing good will come from complaining, though. I’ve learned that through all my years of being in this house. So, I’ll have to take this into my own hands.

I promise you, Alijah! I’ll save you and them! And when I do, I’ll show you how beautiful this world is! Maybe even reunite you with your one true love. It hurts to know that I’m not her or that I’ll never be her for you, but at least in my dreams, you’re mine.

If I have those, they’re all I need.

Day 1824:

So, everyone has been gone for a week now. I got everything I needed to join them. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I’ll claim my present even if it’s the last thing I do. If you find this Aunty, Amelia, I’m sorry for being a selfish brat, but I can’t leave them be.

Even if I am delusional, Alijah isn’t who I think. I want to save you from all the suffering. You don’t deserve to die or be locked up! I guess this is the last time I’ll write here. Anyway, to whoever is reading without my permission, this is an invasion of privacy, good sir or madam!

Shame on you! I’m also sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you, but I must. If I don’t, I can never forgive myself. So it’s time to say goodbye to the cage of the past and welcome a new world!

P.S. Caden and Aiden. If you’re the one who read this, you’re dead. I’ll kill you! I swear it!

I couldn’t help but laugh after reading that last part, as this girl was too much for me to handle.

Rem, please wake up. There’s so much I need to tell and ask you.

Chapter Text

Biting my lip, I closed Rem’s journal before placing it back where I found it. It was near dusk now. Once I returned the old book to the shelf, Lilith entered the room, startling me and prompting me to almost tumble the shelf down before it.

My eyes quickly darted to her as I noticed food in her hands, much to the pleasure of my rumbling stomach.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you, but the maids told me you didn’t come down yesterday or today for your meal. The workers are still a little scared of you, and none of us have been here until now. So, I’m sorry for making you wait so long.” Lilith simpered, releasing a small cackle soon after.

A little scared... That's not hard to believe. They all avoid me, not that I care. However, I can do it without the stares of the females.

“Oh… Sorry, I lost track of time.” I mumbled, scratching my head.

I almost tumbled the shelves because of it. My cheeks were slightly warm due to it, too. My poor heart hadn’t raced this fast since Rem fell asleep.

“Sorry, I kind of lost track of time, too,” I mumbled, scratching my head as my heartbeat became irregular because of the minor stumble.

It’s nice you brought me food, but your husband probably isn’t far behind.

“Don’t worry. Everyone’s working nonstop to bring Rem back from where she is. I just wanted you to have your energy for when the good news comes.” Lilith placed the tray of food on the desk before returning to me.

“Thanks,” I breathed, shifting my eyes toward the little sleeping Luma. “Lilith, I’m sorry for not being much help. I don’t know much about this new world, so I’m useless regarding new magics.”

She shook her head. “No, you took care of Rem all this time. I should thank you instead. I know how much of a handful she is. Please call me Lily.”

Rem is a handful, but I don’t mind it. I’d give the world for her to annoy me one more day.

“Lily,” I corrected myself, grabbing the second journal from the bed.

Rem’s mother appeared not to want to leave just yet, as something seemed to weigh on her mind.

“I also came to ask you something else.” She started, tapping on the table.

I turned to her, gripping the book tightly against my chest.

Reading this will have to wait a little while.

“You can ask anything you want. I’ll give you a straight answer like always.” I breathed, watching the witch slowly walk over to me.

Her expression showed no emotions.

“A silly thought plaguing me since you told me the other Lilith is alive.” She began, stopping before me.

I know where this is going.

“And?” I urged her to continue, walking past her and claiming a chair by the table.

“Well... do you think she’s under the control of Edna?” Lily asked, taking a seat next to me.

I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know.”

At that time, Lilith was nothing more than a bug that would’ve taken precious time away from Rem. I had ignored her, which probably was a mistake.

But… all I wanted was to save you. Nothing else mattered.

“I see. Well... I have another question for you.” Her voice was devoid of any warmth as her eyes met mine.

This witch…

“If that elf isn’t under Edna’s control, what will you do?” She questioned, eyes devoid of any life in them.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at her concerns. In the past, I probably would’ve killed the witch either way, but there was always the chance I would’ve joined her, too.

I can’t blame you for thinking so low of me, but I can’t entirely blame you. It wasn’t like I was on your side at first.

Even though I had been behaving for the past two weeks, this family didn’t trust me.

“Ouch! I thought I already made my intentions clear.” I sighed, shifting my gaze towards the window.

I might have walked into Edna’s hands if it weren’t for Rem, primarily if she had used Lilith back when I was blind. At this point, we didn’t know if that was the case, nor did it matter. Reading my little Luma’s journal made me want to wake her even more.

All I desired was to have her back in my life.

“Yes, you seem to care for Rem, but how sure can I be that you won’t jeopardize her for Lilith?” Lily went straight to the point, prompting my gaze to meet with hers again.

The witch next to me knew I had never lied to her before.

“If... I found out that Lilith hurt Rem out of her own volition. I’ll squeeze the life out of her myself. Even if she were under some mind control, I’d still break her hands for taking Rem’s precious time from me. Does that answer your question?” I answered straightforwardly.

Shifting her eyes towards Rem, she stood and approached her daughter before touching her cheek.

“Yes, it does, Alijah.” She softly smiled at the little Luma.

Your kid made your wish come true, Lilith. Even if you don’t believe it, she is why I am like this now.

“Hey, Alijah, tell me. Do you really love her?” Lily asked, turning back towards me.

I couldn’t help but sigh because of her. There were no more doubts in my mind, no hesitations. Once this luma woke up, I would sear it into her heart.

“The night I met Rem, I felt like lightning hit me so hard it made me stumble for the first time in my entire life. She was dancing and unaware of me, yet she froze me for a few minutes before I even moved to get her attention.” I confessed, turning my gaze towards the last journal in my hands.

“I denied it then, and that was a mistake. No matter how harsh I was with her, this stupid girl broke through every wall I put up.” I placed the book on the table before shifting my gaze back to Lilith. “So yes, I love her. I didn’t know what that feeling was until I met her. She’s become my light and my heart.”

My voice broke at that last bit as I felt part of me was gone when Rem didn’t wake up. A soft hum left Lily’s lips before the gentlest smile rose on her lips.

“After everything I went through with Fenris, I can’t seem to deny you or her. She’s done something I didn’t think was possible.” She commented, walking towards me.

“Yeah, she’s made me a big softy. I don’t feel like hurting anyone when I’m with her.” I breathed, closing my eyes.

But without you… I don’t know if I have it to stay like this.

“Well, that isn’t my decision as I’m only her mother. Was his answer good enough for you, too, my love?” Lily glanced towards the door where her husband was.

Shifting his crimson gaze away, he shook his head. “I don’t know.” He voiced before leaving.

A soft sigh left Lilith’s lips. “Fenris is overprotective of his baby girl. That goes for the boys and Vera, too. So, I’m sorry if they’re a bit of a thorn in your side right now.”

I shrugged.

Caden hasn’t been so bad, but the other two, well… Let’s keep it like that.

“That... doesn’t bother me. It’s good to see Rem’s family love her, even though she doesn’t believe it herself.” I commented, tapping my fingers on the journal. “If I think of anything that can help. I’ll let you know.” I paused, shifting my gaze towards her.

“Okay, I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” Lilith smiled, heading to the door as I focused on the book again.

“Lily, thank you for wishing for me all those years ago,” I said, picking up the journal as she grabbed my shoulder.

Every fiber of my being tensed up as her touch was unexpected.

“It’s fine, Alijah. I’m not used to thinking it’s my daughter, but I’m glad you found your meaning. But if you ever hurt her, know that I’ll hunt you down and castrate you, okay?” She threatened with a sly smile on her lips.

Shivers went down my spine as I nodded, knowing full well she was serious. Shade, who had been on the bed with Rem since she arrived, jumped onto the table, too.

“Yes, that sounds fun, doesn’t it, little wolf?” Shade smirked.

I shuddered at the thought.

“Yes, madams.” I acknowledged, chuckling a bit soon after.

These two were no real threat to me, yet I wouldn’t go against their wishes. Not when I only desired to see my little Luma open her eyes again. Lily suddenly patted my head like I was some house dog, prompting a soft growl to leave my lips.

Oi… No one but Rem can treat me…

Shifting my gaze toward her, I quickly swallowed every word that wanted to come out of me when I saw her smile.

Ok… Maybe you too. Gods… It’s good you can smile like that. I guess that old wolf had a part in this for you, didn’t he?

“Good,” Lilith giggled, readying herself to leave.

They left me sitting down, unable to control my chuckling. The women in this family were crazy and fearless. Rem had gotten most of her features from Lilith and some from Fenris. Even though I felt uneasy around Fenris and the twins, I didn’t feel the same around Rem.

Not that you let me feel awkward at all.

With everything that had happened, I wondered if there was more to the story of what happened in my past.

Edna, how long have you been pulling the strings?

I gazed at the door, feeling a question boil within me. Lilith stopped, turning to look at Rem one last time before leaving. Her expression was one of pure endearment toward her daughter.

“Hmm? Is there something you want to ask me?” Lily asked from the doorway, noticing my gaze.

I shrugged in response to her question, hesitant to ask but also needing to know.

“Yeah, what’s the version you have about my past? The one that the elders gave you.” I sighed, tapping my fingers on the book.

It took me a week to understand what that female black Lycan had said.

Even now, I still find it hard to believe, but if there is any truth, I…

“Melody told me she informed you about your brother. Is that why you’re asking?” This witch was as perceptive as always.

Slowly, I nodded. “Yeah, she did, but if that is true, then I’ve been fed lies since the moment they chained me down and locked me up in that godforsaken room. I never knew he died. They always told me he had gone off with a whor—” I stopped momentarily.

That’s wrong.

“Wife. It seems it was partly true.” I corrected myself, glancing at Rem.

God… Why are you still sleeping? I… I don’t want to be alone anymore.

I had never felt loneliness to this extent before.

It’s suffocating.

“Are you willing to listen, though?” Lily asked from the door, following my gaze back to Rem.

Her question hit me like a rogue dragon that crashed into me.

Has it always been this way? Rem, just what have you done to me?

“I-I think I’ll be after Rem wakes up. Sorry for taking your time.” I apologized, shaking my head.

“No, don’t be. I’ll be here to tell you when she does.” She simpered before leaving as I was again alone with my beloved.

Ah… should I have told her about these books? No… That will be a mistake. They will probably think we’re both crazy.

The food in front of me tasted bland, even though it was full of condiments and well cooked. Since Rem wasn’t with me, I had lost the enjoyment of eating delicious foods.

Ah… Nothing feels the same without you.

In the six months we had been together, she buried herself into me more profoundly than anyone else.

As I said to your mother, Rem, you are my heart. Based on the information in the journal I read, we might have met longer than that. Yet, why don’t I remember these moments we spent together?

There was information within those pages that no one else could’ve known, yet…

So how could I forget them? But how do you know about my mother? Melody? No, it sounded like she had done that not too long ago.

The time in question was about three years ago for Rem.

Either way, Lucan never knew about it, so his descendants couldn’t have known, and Mom died the following year before he returned from his training.

I winced before biting my lip as the ache in my chest got more potent with each second that passed.

Fuck! Nothing makes sense, Rem.

Sadly, she was the only one with answers, and there was no way to know them.

Chapter Text

After finishing my food, I sat beside Rem again, reading the second journal that recorded our recent adventures.

Day 1:

I have a lot to catch up on, but I don't really have much time to write. Alijah’s right next to me, and it’s embarrassing to think he’d see this. We made it to Niamoor after many things happened—actually, one too many things occurred in such a short time!

I still can’t believe everything that has transpired! He and I are... A couple? No... No... Sex buddies? I guess that sounds better. Yeah, we became entangled after a few turns of events that were out of our control.

It’s stupid. I know I have to stop this, but his touch is becoming addicting, and it’s terrifying me. Oh, I also told him I loved him. I... don't know what to do with myself anymore. Though, I know all that’s waiting for me when this is over is pain.

There’s no way this wolf would choose me, and I’ll never ask him to.

Day 15:

We met an exceptional old lady who fed us treats that originated in Niamoor. At first, Alijah didn’t want to speak to the lady, but after a few sugary treats, he became more comfortable with her.

It showed me he could really adjust if needed. I was right to trust my gut feeling about him, but what will I do now? My heart can’t resist him. I love him, and I can’t stop myself from doing so.

Alijah... I’m sorry if I go past any of the lines you’ve placed.

Day 30:

I haven’t been able to write much because Alijah barely ever gives me time to, but today... I have something I need to write about, and he’s asleep. So, I’ve got the advantage today! We went to a famous forest known as the Crystal Forest in Niamoor.

Not to any surprise, my butt ended up on the floor because I wasn’t looking down at where I was walking. How could I? The butterflies flying around me shimmered with different colors, locking me onto them.

Of course, Alijah was there to watch me make a fool of myself, like always. Through his laughter, I swear I heard him say I love you to me. I must’ve misheard, since I tried to ask him what he said again but said it was nothing.

I’m such a fool to get my hopes up only for them to crash back down. There was no way he would’ve said he loved me. That must’ve been my mind playing tricks on me. I’m a dumbass, I know, but it made my heart nearly stop.

How I wish you’d say those words to me.

Reading that day made me want to stop because of the frustration building up. Rem had heard me and yet still pretended not to.

By the gods, why Rem? Why were you trying so hard to deny that I love you? Why didn’t you believe me when I told you back at the springs, too?

Trying to contain my emotions, I closed the journal to breathe for a second. I took a moment to understand this stupid little luma, who was determined to adore me, yet so closed-minded about me having feelings for her.

I had to continue. There had to be something in there to help me.

Day 50:

We’ve been traveling around for quite a long time now. Alijah seems to have adjusted to speaking to people. He also seems more relaxed and even styled his hair differently. Every manner in which he does his hair looks godly on him, though.

But I wish he would use a different cloth to tie his hair. That’s selfish of me, I know. He probably got it from Lilith, and I can’t help but be jealous of it. Would he accept one from me if I gave it to him?

No, stop feeling like this, Rem. Don’t cross a line that would push him away even further than he is now. Alijah will never be yours to have. Right, that’ll only happen in my dreams, and those seemed to lack too! I haven’t had one like the ones from before he got here!

Will they return once he’s gone? I can only hope. If they don't, I don't know if I can stop myself from hurting him. On the brighter side, I made him dance not too long ago, not in bed, but in an actual bonfire.

He picked up on it quickly, too. I wish you’d always be with me.

The more I read into her insecurities, the more I realized how blind I was to them. Rem was hurting, and I didn’t know it.

You’re such a dumb girl. You should’ve asked me if the cloth had any special meaning! I would’ve told you it didn’t. Lilith never gave me anything. I got this cloth after I was free from the torture I experienced back in my time.

The fabric was in a merchant’s shop in one village I ravished soon after my escape.

I liked how it looked, so I took it. It never belonged to Lilith or anyone else.

Shaking my head, I pressed onward and turned to the following page. There was only one day left and it was when everything went to shit.

Day 187:

It has been four incredible months since I last wrote in this journal. Alijah’s taking a while to get out of the bathroom. It’s probably the warm water from the shower keeping him. It almost took me hostage, too.

I had almost forgotten I had bought this book. Today, it seems like I’ll need it once again. I just heard a couple of ghosts talking about Alijah's future. It relates to his genuine love and how we’ll find her.

It’s also where whatever we have is going to end. Why don't we have more time? No, I’m about to take more of it for a selfish little wish I have. I’m sorry Lilith, but today I’m going to fuck him until morning comes, just like I wanted from the beginning.

Wait for him just a little longer. Just a little more, I promise... Please give me this one night with him. This last night, and I’ll be gone from his heart for good. Eh, who am I kidding? I never was in it in the first place.

There are many things I must do after we find her. I hope my heart will hold until he’s gone. Will I be able to live without him, though? After feeling everything...

I have... I… No, I need to stop being so selfish. Alijah, I wanted a part of your heart. Did I ever get it? Did my selfish wish come true even a tiny bit? No… I doubt it did.

When I read those words, I felt my heart rip in two, but what was below them was even worse. It was directed at me, too. I didn’t understand why Rem wrote them. I had lived in Moon elf lands for two years.

Of course, I knew the meaning of what I gave her.

Dear Alijah...

Did you also know that a gardenia has another meaning? You probably didn’t think about it so deeply when you gave me this gift. Right? It means joy but also represents a secret love between two people.

You’ve brought me so much joy these months, but I don’t think you’ll know how much it truly was. I always kept so much from you, mostly about my life before I met you, but even so, I love you.

I’ll always love you. This will always be a secret love, too, huh? Your gift was more meaningful than what you expected. Even so, I’ll let you go to your true love, but before that happens, I’ll love you as you’ve never been loved one last time.

So, maybe you’ll remember me and perhaps dream of me, as I dream of you from time to time. I’ll love you always and forever, my grumpy old wolf.

After reading those last words, I threw the book onto the ground, finding my way into Rem's bed where she lay. I stared at her, feeling my chest hurt in ways I thought it would never feel.

"Rem, wake up..." I whispered, touching her cheek only to receive silence in return.

She laid below me peacefully and undisturbed.

"I said wake up," I demanded, a bit rougher this time.

However, the result was the same; Rem laid there silent.

"Oi, there’s so much I need to tell you. You need to wake up!" I continued to reach her, to no avail.

"Rem, I love you. I love you so much. I’ll tell you as many times as you need me to. So, please wake up!" I pleaded with her, but she did not respond.

Droplets of water dripped onto her face; I hadn’t noticed I was crying until then.

What a mess I’ve become.

"Oi... Baby girl, wake up, please!" I begged my little luma, unable to stop the tears that flowed out of me.

This stupid girl needed to know how I felt.

Why can’t I tell you? No… Why didn’t I tell you sooner?!

Pressing my forehead against hers, I felt lost. I never knew I would feel this way about someone, especially after everything I had gone through. I thought I would never feel love again, yet there I was, deeply in love with the Luma who had given everything to find me.

I was within her reach, but she wouldn’t take me on her own. I glanced outside to notice the sky had turned dark blue as night had consumed the sun. Tracing my finger on her lips, I gazed at her again.

You seem so peaceful like this. Damn it… I was wrong! This doesn’t suit you at all!

"Rem... Please come back and keep me on my toes. Annoy me, fuck me... do whatever you want to me just come back to me, baby girl." I simpered, pressing my lips against hers.

It was a useless gesture as I kissed her every night and morning. However, this time, the action triggered a sudden, gentle light that consumed me and my consciousness. I was unaware, but someone had responded to my emotions.

Chapter Text

When my consciousness found me again, I was in free fall, plummeting through the darkness into a place that was hard to describe. Distortions where magic and reality melded were everywhere, reminding me of the prison I was in for six thousand years.

What the—

Before that thought formed, I found myself on solid ground. The fall didn’t hurt, and a soft growl left my lips as I got onto my feet. Whoever brought me here didn’t care if I could handle it. Once on up, the darkness around me lifted, allowing me to assess my surroundings.

This is…

Again, I was in a familiar place, surrounded by cherry blossom trees as pink petals floated by me. The only thing that broke the immersion was the sky, devoid of color, leaving an empty white space.

Where am I?

Taking a step forward, I gazed towards the side, only for my eyes to widen spotting someone I longed to see. Rem stood in the distance, humming a lullaby while picking some petals from the ground.

My feet couldn’t move fast enough as I instinctively went for her. The only thing that stopped me was when I hit a massive invisible wall that almost knocked me out of my feet. She was so close, yet so far from me.

What—

I couldn’t finish that thought as my focus was on her.

"Rem!" I screamed louder than ever, wishing for her to turn around, but she never did.

She continued picking up petals as if she hadn’t perceived anything.

"Oi! Rem!" I continued to try to reach her, yet the response remained the same.

Why won’t you turn to me?! Rem! Why?!

My emotions burst into a flurry as I slammed a fist into the wall that held me from her. At that moment, it was almost as if she had heard something, prompting her to stand up and peer around.

"Huh? Who’s there?" The little Luma asked, shifting her eyes to each side.

Her question filled my heart with hope as hearing her voice urged me forward.

"Rem! I’m right here!" I yelled, smashing my fist into the wall again.

The desperation in my voice was so apparent as it cracked, wishing she was in my arms at all costs. Yet Rem…

“I thought I heard something, but maybe I’m going crazy.” She mumbled, placing her hand on the tree next to her. “Why is he taking so long?”

“What?” I breathed, realizing she had turned away from me.

"That won’t work, wolf." Someone from behind me announced as their voice sent shivers running through me.

That… You… You were…

I turned around to see Midna, the same bird from before, staring at me from one of the trees surrounding us. She appeared to be stuck on my side of the wall, too.

It was you…

Even though that bird was the last thing I wanted to hear, she knew more than me. After all, she had been in Rem all this time. This was an opportunity to learn more about her, too.

"What?" I muttered as she pointed her black wing back to where Rem was.

"Look. You think she heard you, but it wasn’t you. Well, technically." She informed, snickering soon after.

My gaze followed her wing, and I saw someone who appeared to be me walking toward Rem. It was shocking, especially since the actual me stood beyond the barrier that held us apart.

"What?! Oi... Rem!" I called out to my beloved as she turned to the façade and smiled at him ever so brightly.

Seeing her react to another man like that made me want to smash everything.

"There you are! Why did you take so long? I was lonely." Rem pouted, running to him before hugging him tightly.

My blood boiled as every fiber of my being wanted to murder the man in her arms. Even if it was me, that fake had to go.

"Sorry, I lost track of time." The phony replied, touching her cheek.

What are you doing?! You’re mine... Fucking mine!

"It’s fine. At least you’re here with me, wolf." Rem giggled happily, tugging herself to meet his lips, prompting me to slam my fist into the wall that separated us.

I slammed my fist into the wall that separated us.

Can’t you tell that isn’t me?

The words I read in her journal echoed as I realized she…

No... You wanted this even if it was fake.

"Oi! That isn’t me, Rem! I’m right here! You don’t need that fake!" I snarled, but it was like screaming into the void.

"Rem!" I screamed again at the top of my lungs, only to prompt Midna to sigh behind me.

Fucking piece of shit!

"She’ll never hear you from this side of the wall," the goddess said calmly as I turned toward her.

"Shut up! You probably want her there for her body!" I snapped, realizing I held no power there.

Even though I should’ve been shining like a glowing star, my body had no hue, which meant I was cut off from the moon's power while in there.

“Oh ho, aren’t you lovely, just like I remembered you to be.” Midna chuckled, shrugging in response to my hostility.

She couldn’t care less about it, but I could barely control myself. It was just like that bastard warlock who kissed her.

Now, it’s a fake me! Unacceptable!

"Don’t pretend to know what I want, wolf." Midna declared, flying toward me and landing on my arm. “You know nothing of what I’m doing.”

A sharp growl left my lips. “What do you want?”

"Me? I don’t know, wolf.” She breathed, shifting her eyes towards Rem, who happily talked to the façade. “It’s a pity the stupid girl is using the space for this when it was created for both of you to connect, not to lock herself up like this."

What? You both created this for us?

"You both did this?" I glanced at the black bird as she nodded.

Unlike before, all her red features were blue, probably because she wasn’t merged with Rem.

"Yes, only a god can create this. At first, it was a space she created in her loneliness.” She paused, shifting her gaze back onto me. “But I wanted to appease her, so I pulled your soul here when you were stuck in the in-between. One perk I have as the former goddess of death."

"What? Why did you do that?" I asked, narrowing my eyes as she snickered upon hearing me.

"Because, believe it or not, I care for Rem. So, I let her use my power to create this while I brought you here. Though, it was her strong desire to run away that turned this plane into what it is now.” She paused, gazing away from me.

“I feel for her the same as those other useless gods do for their halves, but I also remember my past agony, and unlike them, I’m not bound to her will." She added.

I grabbed my forehead, unable to digest anything.

So, everything Rem wrote was real.

"If that’s true, then why can't I remember anything from our time together?" I continued my query.

Midna turned to face me with those blue orbs of hers. "Because what you were experiencing was the future, and I couldn’t let anything that may have deprived Rem from existing. So, you had to remain ignorant all the while the girl loved you more than anything in this world."

At that moment, I saw red.

So, it’s all your fault that I can’t remember anything? Not even Rem's face? Unforgivable!

"You’re a heartless bitch!" I snapped, throwing Midna out of my arms as she recovered quickly before flying by me and circling me like a vulture.

"Well, I don’t expect a mortal like you to understand how fickle time can be. You should be grateful that she exists and I brought you together." Midna began.

I huffed. “I don’t owe you a single thing.”

"Hmph! Defiant as always. You’re lucky the circumstances have changed.” She declared, hovering on top of me. “To reach her, you must recover what I took from you.”

I rolled my eyes at her. "So, you’re going to make me remember?" I growled as the moment that left my mouth, a ring of blue flames formed by my feet.

Fuck! You—

"What are you doing?!" I questioned, unable to move from where I was.

"Silence! I called your soul here for this purpose! You’ll bathe in the fires of truth, Alijah Lyrac! No, Valdios! You dare call me a foe, even though we’ve been through so much together!" Midna commanded the flames to engulf me.

“Our memories may be lost to the circle of reincarnation, but hers aren’t!” She made no sense, yet I was powerless to stop her.

As the flames consumed me, I thought they would burn me alive, but they didn’t; instead, a floodgate of stolen memories opened in my mind.

“Hey, who… Why are you here?” A young Rem asked as I remembered the first day I met her.

Ah… I…

From there, all the memories flowed through me in chronological order. I felt like I had relived each one that I experienced. However, the point came when I couldn’t tell what reality was and what a memory was.

The gaps in my mind were being filled with my little Luma, and before I knew it, I found myself on the floor, tears streaking down my cheeks.

If only I had known how precious you were to me!

More memories flowed through me as I remembered the moment I grabbed her by the neck in that lake and treated her so poorly.

If only I had known when you kissed me for the first time.

I finally understood why she was so desperate to save me and why she was so scared when she kissed me in that cave.

I... No...

Memories clashed together as I was suddenly back on the day she was under me after I drank Wyatt's drug.

If I had known... No… Nothing changes the fact that I hurt you in so many ways. It can’t be excused… I… I forgot everything and pushed aside the familiarity I felt while with you!

Like the time she hugged me in the tavern, I could’ve sworn that wasn’t the first time she held me like that, and it wasn’t.

I...

My heart was being torn apart with each moment I relived. I had held her for many years, yet I quickly overlooked it, thinking it was Lilith with whom I shared those moments.

I failed you, Rem! I’m so sorry!

"Don’t let yourself be consumed by guilt, Valdios! This was for her benefit!" Midna declared, flapping her wings faster as the inferno became more intense.

The name she called me by wasn’t my own, yet something about it seemed personal. Her voice was distant, as the memories were suffocating me.

Five years! I’ve known you for so long, yet I… I…

When I first met Rem, my entire body was electrified, yet she was a tiny, insignificant pup, so I tore my gaze away. Unlike me, the little Luma stared at me like she had seen me before, even though I knew nothing of her.

“Are you a ghost of someone I’ve killed that’s come to haunt me?” I mumbled at her as she cocked her head.

“What? Do you see them too? That’s awesome! I never knew of someone who can see them like I can!” She beamed, walking towards me.

“Stay away from me!” I growled, turning away as she glued her eyes to the floor.

The energy she radiated made me not want anything from her. I thought it was an annoying daydream I was having, but it got worse with each passing day. It didn’t matter how harsh or distant I was with her, she continued to pester me, creating small banter even if it led to an argument.

Even though I never remembered what happened within them, I suddenly felt lonely whenever my consciousness drifted away from those daydreams.

No wonder... Rem, you’re my everything.

However, curiously enough, every time I was in the space, my memories snapped together, allowing me to remember everything that had happened in the previous one.

“Why… Can’t I remember anything that happened while in here?” I suddenly asked Rem, who scowled at me.

Our last encounter wasn’t pleasant, prompting her to roll her eyes.

“I don’t know, that sounds like your problem, old grumps.” She retorted, puffing her cheeks.

I couldn’t help but laugh at her innocence, yet I was unaware that she hid all the issues she was having with her family.

The only ignorant one was me.

Rem never told me anything, not that I cared to ask either. We called each other little stupid nicknames, refusing to give in to the other as she declared this nothing more than a dream. Every day, the girl wormed herself into my heart, more profoundly than anyone else had done.

Then came the day she kissed me as I instinctively tugged her away.

“Oi! Don’t tease adults with those types of plays!” I huffed, turning away from her as my lips burned hotter than ever before.

It wasn’t unusual for males to marry younger females at my time, but I had always enjoyed the attention of older females.

That’s right, a child like you can never fill the void within me.

Or at least I lied to myself back then because I refused to think anyone would love me for me. At first, I saw her as this annoying kid who wouldn’t leave me alone, and out of nowhere, she grew up into a slightly more mature kid. However, something in my heart lingered each time she attempted to push herself deeper into it.

Instead of taking my scolding to heart, she stuck her tongue out at me.

“You’re only twenty-three, and I’m legal now!” She huffed, crossing her arms.

This little Luma left me bewildered. In Rem's era, there was a rule that adults couldn’t date children—something nonexistent in mine. There wasn’t a part of her that I saw differently from a child until she launched herself at me, determined to change my view.

Time had moved so fast in those dreams that I hadn’t even realized two years had passed since I met her.

“Hah… You really are stupid. Maybe you’ll have a chance once your breasts grow more.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes at her.

To me, you were something pure and untouchable.

“I can’t control that! Argh! Watch yourself, wolf. No matter how hard you make it for me, I will steal your heart! This is my dream! I’m allowed to have it here!” Rem declared, pointing her finger straight at me.

I could barely keep up, and it wasn’t like I could escape her, and trust me, I tried. However, I wasn’t strong enough to keep up the front. Every time our lips brushed, it felt like it warmed me up in ways I never knew existed.

It was the first time I ever felt this way about anyone. With that lingering feeling, my front quickly shattered, and it was only a matter of time before I kissed her back. Of course, I quickly backed off when it got a bit touchy.

You were so pure and loving. Now I know what I was missing every time I woke from those daydreams. No wonder I went so hard for Lilith, thinking it was her. I never imagined it was her daughter.

Fuck! Rem... Rem! I’m sorry for forgetting! I... don’t know how I…

"Alijah, move past it!" I could hear Midna yell at me from the distance.

More memories flowed into me as I couldn’t help but scream when it felt like I was being torn apart. Part of me didn’t want to know anymore since everyone was too painful. Rem knew all this when I shoved her away.

You remembered everything while I was being cruel to you!

When I told her, she was nothing more than a hindrance when we met.

Fuck! Why did this have to happen?! Rem... I love you! Please... give me one more chance to show it!

I was losing myself in the agony of knowing I had failed her.

Chapter Text

Before I lost myself, a familiar presence formed, dragging my gaze onto it.

Ah… You…

"Alijah... My grumpy wolf... don't cry." Rem suddenly grabbed onto my cheeks, making me rise onto my knees.

“I’m so sorry.” I whimpered as my hands hung on the sides.

"Don't cry." She simpered as I fought off the desire to yank her into my arms.

"This isn’t you, is it?" I breathed as tears ran down my cheeks.

No, this little luma was the one that lived in my heart—time again had stopped around us.

"You didn’t know a thing, Alijah, and I still loved you either way. I didn’t know if it was real, too. You read as much in my journals." She kissed my forehead slightly.

“I—” I went to speak, only for her to stop me by touching my lips.

"Hush, it’s okay, Alijah. I loved you even when you hated me. If you want to save me from me, you must remember everything. Then, you can make me realize our love was never an illusion I made up. That I was… and am loved by you." She declared as I slowly nodded, allowing the memories to flow into me with little resistance.

It was useless to try to fight it. After all, I couldn’t bring back the time wasted by my ignorance. No, all I could do was look into the future, and I had to make sure she was there with me. All I needed to know was that those memories existed, especially the first time I held her under the cherry blossoms.

Along with every single time I held you after that. Remember, I need to remember them all so that the next time I have you, I’ll do so with the love you deserve. Next time I see you… I’ll tell you everything you want to hear and much more.

I love you, Rem. I’ll love you for all eternity to come, please… just let me love you.

When the memories stopped, my body shimmered red, and I slammed my fists on the floor in frustration. The flames slowly dissipated while Midna continued to hover in the distance.

"Now that you know everything you need, go back, Alijah, and find the family. It’ll take everyone to bring her back if that’s what you want. After all, right now, she’s happy." The bird announced while I stood up from where I was, feeling battered and exhausted.

This is nothing to how you felt.

"Hah… Happy in a facade? I would never allow that. Not when she has the real thing waiting for her. She’s mine." I growled loudly at the goddess.

Even if it was to save her from oblivion, I could never forgive Midnight for taking precious time away from me.

"Good of you to answer that since... I lied. It isn't all pretty petals in there." She informed, flying towards where Rem was.

Much to my surprise, she was standing alone as all the trees were gone while the white space we found ourselves in remained. Her hands were covered with blood, and her eyes appeared lifeless. Unable to help it, I crashed again into the barrier that separated us.

"Rem!" I called as she shifted her gaze around before stopping again on her stained hands.

"Huh? Am I... supposed to be here? Why am I here again?" She mumbled, wincing before grabbing onto her head.

Midna landed on my shoulder again as the fake me reappeared behind the little Luma before engulfing her in his arms.

Unforgivable! You’re mine! Don’t let him touch you!

"Don't think... just stay with me. I’ll never leave you." The phony said.

“Huh?” Rem breathed, grabbing onto his arms before glancing down at her shirt covered in the red substance.

In that instance, I could see the dagger sticking out of her for a moment before it disappeared soon after.

"Was I stabbed? I think something happened. No, did I hurt you?" Rem turned to the fake me as tears streaked down her cheeks.

Standing on the other side of the wall, I could only hope the fake me would help her as her gaze was suddenly devoid of warmth.

Rem... You stupid girl, why are you worried about me? You…

"Impossible, there isn’t anything you could do to hurt me." The façade comforted her.

Unable to hold it any longer, I placed my hands back on the barrier that separated us.

How I wish I could break it.

Rem grabbed fake's cheeks, slightly shaking her head before she caressed her thumbs on his skin.

"I think... I died in your arms. Didn't I? I guess... one of my wishes got fulfilled." Rem simpered, tears still trailing down her cheeks.

You know this is fake. You fucking know!

"Rem! Why?!" I screamed as Midna sighed.

My chest felt like there were knots in there as it became heavier with each second that passed.

"Her truth with her fiction mixt at times. Sometimes, she even relives the moments in that forest where she ravished you. She may not fully remember it but tortures herself about it.” She paused.

What?

“That was just a slip. Sometimes she falls endlessly before the spell brings her back into the bliss." Midna added as I turned to her.

"Why don't you take her out then?! You created this! Undo it!" I snapped at her, only for her to remain unfazed by my hostility.

Instead, she glanced over to Rem before closing her eyes.

"I helped her create it but can’t undo it, Alijah. She also locked me out. The only thing I could do was bring you here, outside of the dreamscape, in hopes you’ll reach her with some help." Midnight started, staring back at me as she moved down my arm.

Even though I didn’t know how to react to her or what to believe, this was my only lead. She wasn’t entirely done with me yet, though.

"There’s more you should know. Rem was supposed to die when she siphoned Edna’s curse that would’ve bonded Lilith’s unborn children to her. Even though she…” A soft sigh left her as she shifted her gaze to the little Luma. “Rem's body couldn’t handle it, and it killed her until I revived her using her family’s power by linking myself to her.”

"What?" I mumbled, barely able to understand what she was saying.

"Rem saved the other silver bloods from being bound to the eternal witch that day. I guess the curse was attracted to her, too, in a way. You see, she has an affinity for death. It is also very different from witchcraft. She doesn’t need to sacrifice anything for her." She informed.

I couldn’t help but wonder if there was an ulterior motive for this bird’s talkative nature.

What are you gaining from this?

"The entire event that revived her cut some ties with the witch that cast it by turning the hex into something more bothersome. The blood lust is part of it, but there is… that warlock made it worse when he…” She trailed off, shaking her head and turning back to me.

Perhaps there were no motives, yet I couldn’t read this goddess or her intentions for Rem.

"With this... Will Rem be pushed more towards death? Or..." Midna stopped again, snickering a bit before she suddenly retook flight.

"Ah… None of that matters. Mortal, do your job and save Rem, so I might take over her body one day, as you say." She giggled, flying over the horizon..

I couldn’t help but laugh as this god was a fickle little thing.

Hard to read, too. I don’t know what your intentions are, but you… You are the reason why this… Why I met her.

However, it was too bad for her. I wouldn’t let her, or anyone, take Rem away from me again. That would never happen.

"You wish," I chastised the bird, who cackled.

“I never wanted to,” Midna announced, flapping her wings and creating a gust more potent than the one from that day. “And… You’re wrong. You two are destined for one another. Even if the world would’ve kept you away, you… would’ve found each other.” Her voice cracked as I flinched because of the winds.

My eyes fluttered open when I returned to Rem's room beside her.

Was that all… a dream? No… That was…

Shaking my head, instinctively, I kissed her on her lips lightly as a new hope filled my being before I ran out of the room to find Lilith. From what I could tell, it seemed to be morning again, not that it mattered.

I almost crashed into some maids working around the manor in my hurry. Luckily, I found everyone gathered in Fenris's study when I suddenly barged in. They seemed to speak about what Caden and Aiden had seen in their latest travels to Allora.

The twins had spent the day there yesterday. Their expressions quickly alerted me of their mood to my unwarranted interruption, but I couldn’t wait.

"Alijah, did something happen?" Lilith asked, standing up from the chair she was sitting in.

The remaining silver bloods narrowed their eyes as they didn’t seem to want me there, yet I had to push forward.

"I found a way to wake Rem up." I suddenly declared as the atmosphere turned heavier than ever.

The silver blood Lycan named Ben stood forward as, unlike everyone else, he seemed less hostile and a bit more cunning than the rest of the younger ones in the room.

"And how would you know that? If I may ask." Ben asked straightforwardly.

“You can’t be serious!” Vera huffed, crossing her arms.

“There is no harm in asking, little one. We’re still stuck in place with no idea how to proceed, right?” He assured the hostile witch who was ready to fight back at every turn.

Even though the older silver wolf had given me a way in, it also placed me on the spot. I momentarily shifted my gaze to the floor, finding it a bit hard to explain.

Damn it, this is all a waste of time! I can’t figure out how to even start without sounding crazy. Will they believe me? What to say and hold back…

"Uh… I was dragged into where she is by—" I began, but was intercepted by Vera standing up from her chair.

Oh, by the gods, this girl hates me with an unyielding passion.

"If you aren’t going to say anything useful, then leave! We’re discussing important family matters, and they don’t concern you!" Vera snarled at me, eyes filled with a fire that would no doubt smite me right where I stood if I pushed further.

I rolled my eyes at the little witch. By the gods, was she an annoying harpy?

"You know, what screw you. I don’t need you, but your mother." I said, turning to Lilith.

“What?!” She growled as I ignored her.

"Lily, I came to tell you because I need your help. Please, I can’t do it alone," I pleaded, prompting her eyes to widen before they narrowed.

Begging for help was never my thing, but this wasn’t for my pride or me.

No, this is for you; I’d do anything for that.

"If it weren’t for you, Rem would never have been in this in the first place! So, leave us alone already!" Vera scowled as Lilith gazed towards Fenris, triggering him to stand up.

"Enough, you aren't a child anymore, so stop behaving like one." He sighed, glancing at me with his crimson gaze.

Unlike Lilith, he appeared unsure about me, yet his love for the witch kept him centered.

"What did you find? " he asked as I told them what had happened, omitting a few details.

They were personal and didn’t need to understand what was happening. However, as soon as I was done, Vera, who had had enough of me, snapped again. I didn’t know what her issue was; I only desired Rem back as much as she did.

This would be a hill I would gladly die on.

Chapter Text

A fire seemed to sprout under the young witch's seat in seconds, triggering her to get up and slam her hands onto the table.

"Impossible. Dad, this murderous wolf is lying!" Vera turned to her father, who sighed.

"Fucking, really? If I said I was breathing. Would you also call that a lie?!" I snapped, having had enough of this girl.

There was no reason for this woman to behave in this manner toward me, and even though my temper was about to explode, I was trying to maintain my composure. However, someone soon spoke, leaving me stunned.

"I believe Alijah," Caden announced, sitting on the couch with his brother.

"I... don't know what to think, but he doesn't sound like he's being deceptive," Aiden babbled, fidgeting with his shirt.

A soft grumble left me as Shade suddenly wrapped her tail around my arm and pulled it down towards her before sniffing it. I hadn't noticed her approaching, or when she shifted so close to me, as I had been paying attention to the others in the room.

Ruzgard was with her, too.

"He has the smell of the shadow demon." Shade suddenly announced, letting go of my arm, only for Lilith to grab it soon after.

"Oi..." I huffed, feeling like a doll being dragged around the room.

However, before I could complain further, she pulled my sleeve to reveal marks clearly on my skin that resembled bird footprints, where Midna had clung onto me.

"What the fuck?" I breathed.

Shade shifted again, climbing Lilith's shoulder as she carefully inspected the shapes.

"This... is something I haven't seen outside of the Soul Cairn." She mumbled, narrowing her eyes before shifting them back towards me. "It seems Midna marked you as proof of what you are saying. Don't worry, they'll disappear on their own." She informed me with a soft smile on her lips.

Fuck! Are you glad I'm not lying?

The fools didn't know I never did.

"So, the bitch knew you all wouldn't trust me. Good to know." I rolled my eyes, focusing on the window that led to the garden.

It was unbelievable how the bird knew more about their reaction to me than I did. It wasn't delightful to know my beloved family disliked me this much. However, it wasn't like I hadn't fueled their worries.

Midnight, you're smart; at least I'll give you that. You... Why did you call me Valdios?

"But can we trust this god that attacked us?" Aiden asked.

A valid question, as he was right to mistrust Midna, but her words didn't seem deceitful. Sadly, her hint was the only lead we had to get Rem out, as everyone else failed to find anything to help.

"No, we can't. It's the same one trying to take over Rem! Whatever intentions he has for Rem, this wolf doesn't have her best interest at heart!" Vera tried to sway the room in her favor.

I shook my head, "Believe whatever you fucking wish, but I saw Rem there, witch, but I can't reach her on my own."

"Still, I—" Vera was about to erupt when her mother grabbed her shoulder.

"Honey, we all want Rem back, and Alijah has proven he means no harm to her. They also share a connection we don't have. Perhaps this is the only way." Lilith tried to reassure her.

"Still! I don't trust you!" Vera yelled before glaring at me.

I shrugged. "Nor I you, little witch, yet I can still set aside my pride for Rem."

She turned away from me, leaving steaming where I stood. At this point, I didn't care if they wanted to believe me. All I needed was their help. For a moment, everyone stayed quiet as it sank in. It wasn't long until Fenris closed the books before him, shifting his gaze toward me.

"So, how are we going to do this?" He asked, triggering a flutter in my heart with a feeling I hadn't experienced in a long time.

I couldn't help but smile as my tail wagged a bit.

Is this what hope feels like? Am I finally going to see you again?

However, he was suspiciously passive, which meant he wasn't fully invested in what I had to say, but it didn't matter. If he allowed me to do it and find someone to assist me, that was all I cared about.

"I need someone to project my astral self into Rem's mind. Well, into her dreams. She has created a space to escape reality, and I'm the only one allowed in other than herself." I announced, prompting everyone's eyes to widen.

"What? Are you shitting me?! How dare you suggest we missed a spell cast on her!" Vera snapped, slamming her hands onto the table. "Let alone, it's impossible to send a red-eye Lycan anywhere! You're resistant to our magic, which is too strong to overcome!"

"You mean like..." Lilith trailed off as her daughter shifted her gaze.

"Mom?" She mumbled as I nodded.

"Yes, just like the one you used back then. Back then, I was able to connect with you because of Rem. I didn't know that, but I came across you because of her. It's a bit different here because I'm not in a space where all timelines gather." I sighed, shrugging.

"Then... It's impossible to do it. Even normal Lycans are highly resistant to it." She shook her head, clasping her hand onto her chest.

"Nah, it's possible. You'll need to use a bit of wolfsbane. It'll have to be enough to weaken my resistance without triggering a world-ending rampage from my end. Do you think you're capable of dosing me correctly?" I informed them, prompting the Lycans in the room to grow cold.

Ben turned his head a bit to the side.

"That's too dangerous," Fenris declared. "A single milligram more of it and you'll end us and die soon after."

I bit my lip, unable to dismiss that possibility, yet it was the only path before us.

"Sadly, it's the only way." I breathed, shifting my gaze back to Lily. "Please, you told me to find my light, and I did. Please, Lilith, don't let me lose her. Even if she wasn't your daughter, I... beg for her life." My voice cracked as they all fell silent.

It wasn't the first time I had pleaded for help, yet every time, I could shed away my pride for her. Unlike the rest of her family, the little young witch wasn't fond of my explanation.

Vera rolled her eyes. "How convenient."

By the gods, you're a fucking bitch.

"All you need to do is remove a single petal from the flower. The poison is more present in the stem and leaves." I tried to explain myself, but they all remained quiet.

Fuck... Please...

"I mean, I'll get ill, like really sick, but I should be fine after a few hours. Especially after a good meal, if I can keep it down. Um... please... I don't really know what else to do." I winced, realizing none were on board with what I was saying.

It was understandable, but at the same time, it was infuriating. For the longest time, I had been their enemy. It was a miracle they were listening to me.

I suppose that was also due to you, Rem.

"You're willing to go that far for her? I mean, you could die even if you don't end the world while at it." Fenris stood up as I shook my head.

"That little Luma has done so much for me, even when I didn't deserve it. I'll do anything for her. She would do the same for me, too. I can't let her be the one who saves me all the time." I stood my ground.

All eyes were on me again, as I didn't know if I had any other leverage to play.

"Look, I wouldn't be asking if I didn't need your help. Midnight helped Rem build her little cage, and it will take all of us to undo what she has gotten herself into. Once I'm in there, you wolves will have to share your essence with me again to destabilize and destroy it from within." I paused momentarily, feeling my hands tremble as a thought began forming in my head.

The moment it rose, my words were clogging up my throat, refusing to come out, but they had to.

"J-Just like you did back when..." I trailed off, clenching my scarred hand, a reminder of my failure that wouldn't happen again.

"Okay then. Ben, you know what to do, don't you?" Fenris declared, glancing toward his brother.

"Of course, little brother, I'll be on my way then." The elder brother bowed before leaving the room.

"Very well, then I'll get some of the Iris and try to make something that works with it, but I'll need some time to determine the correct dose. Wolfsbane no longer exists, and Iris appears more potent than the original plant." Lily announced, heading out as well with her familiar.

"Wait! Mom! Are we seriously doing this?!" Vera followed her out, along with Ruzgard.

"I'll text Sophie to get the ingredients for the spell," Aiden nodded, grabbing onto Caden and dragging him out to some unknown quest.

Huh?

Only two of us were left in the room in seconds.

"Ah... I guess, I'll—" I started but wouldn't finish when Fenris walked around the table and grabbed onto my shoulder.

Fenris glanced at me, walking around the table, grabbing my shoulder.

"Alijah... Could you follow me for a bit? I need to speak with you about something important." He stepped toward the door before shifting his crimson gaze onto me.

I found myself in a pickle, but I couldn't refuse him.

He's your father, after all.

"I guess," I mumbled, following Fenris out of the study.

We walked down the hall leading to one of the manor's patios. He gazed out at their rose garden for a moment before strolling down it, with me behind him.

Shit... what does he want to talk to me about? Is it about you? I... No... Even if he disapproves, I'm not giving you up, Rem. You're mine and only mine.

Chapter Text

Stopping by a gazebo, the older silver wolf stepped inside it before signaling me to join him. Each rose around us had different colors, almost resembling a rainbow. Although the scenery was appealing, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable around him.

It wasn’t only because he was Rem’s father but also a pure Silver Fang, unlike my little Luma. This made him a direct descendant of Hiro Silver Fang, one of the two Silver wolves left in my time. The other was his wife.

Most called their silver hair a genetic flaw, but when I was younger, I loved how it flowed under the sun, much like a cloud on the ground. It all changed when I realized he had betrayed me.

Lately, however, I've been misguided in many aspects, including his involvement.

"I heard from Lily what my bloodline did to you all those years ago." Fenris began, shifting his gaze toward me.

I felt tiny in his eyes for a moment, as this wasn’t something I was ready to hear. Rem wasn’t with me, and I honestly couldn’t stomach much with her gone. Unlike my brother, I didn’t know if I could handle knowing Hiro was innocent.

So… many times they told me you sold me out, but… what if… You didn’t, and I… hated you for no reason. The last time we saw each other, you had just had a pup, and I berated you for it. You were trying to help me out of the Elder’s clutches, and I pushed you away, calling you every name in the book for selling me out.

I still remember you were so confused when I told you, but I was so full of hate that I couldn’t see it. You never came back after that, which… makes me wonder if you… Also died trying to save me, Hiro. I… don’t know if I can…

"Ah... doesn't matter anymore." I tried to downplay it, turning my glance toward the side.

This wise old wolf didn’t let me run away. Instead, he clasped his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to gaze at him before darting away, tucking my tail under my legs. Unlike my cocky self from before I met Rem, I was never one for the alpha role, unlike this wolf who radiated it.

I wasn’t born a leader, but this man was. He had carved a way for all the races to find common ground and work together, which was unheard of back in my time. He even married a witch and managed to keep her safe even when everyone wanted to be rid of her.

After having my life sealed away and used as nothing more than fertilizer, I wanted nothing to do with the clans, as that world wasn’t for me. All I needed was Rem, who also shared qualities from her father.

A soft sigh left his lips before he patted my head. "You’re alive, aren't you, Alijah?"

Huh? Are you okay, sir?

Hesitantly, I gazed at the silver wolf standing before me. His eyes seemed warmer than before.

"I guess I am?" I mumbled.

Obviously, I’m alive. I mean, I’m breathing.

"Then it matters since it hurt you. It also fueled your fury and anguish. For that, I’m deeply sorry. I wish you had never gone through that.” Fenris smiled as I felt the echo of words Rem had said to me within his.

They were so similar to him.

Ah… I was wrong. Rem… you really are your father’s daughter. Minus the looks.

Although he appeared like a gentle wolf, there was no doubt in my mind he would rip anyone's head off if they messed with his family. He was testing me, and I could respect that.

"It’s fine. A lot of what happened back then was probably manifested to keep me in a vicious cycle of despair. They failed though, since I’m still here and they are very much dead.” I breathed, shifting my gaze down again.

"After some persuasion, the elders informed us that a raven came to them with a note containing your location. I'm not sure if it’s true, though. It could be another lie," Fenris announced, handing me a small piece of paper.

Eh? A raven? So it really wasn’t… you… Hiro…

"A witch's familiar, huh?" I mumbled, my voice shaking.

My hands struggled to open the paper, but the moment it was open, I saw handwriting I had never seen before as it gave away where I was, and it wasn’t Hiro's handiwork, that was for sure. I could tell the paper was old as fuck, but well preserved.

“Yep, they kept that paper about you in the massive archives, but at the same time, it barely said anything about your life. They were trying hard to conceal why they called you the Mad Lycan. I couldn’t say I would have been any better." The silver wolf smiled as my heart grew lighter because of his words.

I thought I had destroyed everything back then, but this piece of paper survived, too—the same with my brother's letter to his wife.

“Please, tell me everything you know.” I faced him head-on as he tilted his head.

“From my understanding, what they told you about my bloodline was a lie to isolate you from your friend.” He began tapping his fingers on the wood.

“Hiro…” I trailed off, shaking my head.

Why go to such lengths? Was it really just for a power play?

“Yes, he was determined to clear his name with you and set you free; that is why he wanted to head toward the capital to find a way to be heard. He became the first silver Lycan in the clans to earn enough merits to join the circle of elders, thereby gaining leverage. However, you were long gone by the time he achieved this.” He informed, as I shook my head.

Fool… You should have forgotten about me, just as I had forsaken you.

“The Lycan were burying your rampage so much that barely anyone knew about you or that you had been sealed away. Most of the public didn’t even know you were gone until he returned to the village three years after it was destroyed. A hard thing to achieve in this era. Any little thing and it get’s plastered everywhere.” Fenris sighed, shrugging.

Ah, is that personal experience speaking?

“Hiro lived, at least. He deserved a good life away from all the bullshit that surrounded me.” I breathed, clasping my chest.

Yet… why does it ache to know everything you did for me? I… I’m sorry for being an ignorant fool. I should’ve known… You were my brother even if we weren’t blood-related. I… Should’ve believed you.

It was easier to fill myself with hate than to have faith that things would get better.

“Well, I’m not sure about that, Alijah. I have a good friend whom I’d go to great lengths to ensure is happy. He’s my right-hand man, and I don’t think I would have made it this far without his support. I believe you met him with Melody.” Fenris smiled as his eyes appeared lighter when speaking about those he loved.

Oh… Yes, the brown wolf who seemed about ready to murder me if I made a move on his wife. Liam, wasn’t it?

“Ah… I see.” I voiced, feeling aches in my chest.

I always thought it didn’t matter, but it seemed that, deep down, those wounds were still in my heart.

“Hiro Silver Fang was the one who laid many of the foundations of what we have here. Even if some of our forefathers forgot it in their way, his spirit managed to live on until we have what we have today. He couldn’t save you but ensured that what happened to you would never occur again.” He informed, prompting me to chuckle.

“Yes, he was always a resilient individual. The same goes for my brother; their legacy has endured to this day.” I smiled, feeling the weight of the world lift from my shoulders.

“Yep, from my years in this world, I’ve learned that hope is hard to eliminate. Especially when you fight for it with all you have, even when others don’t hear you.” He shifted his gaze upward.

Rem… This is all because of you. I could hear this because you opened my eyes to the good in the world. Ah… Why aren’t you… here with me?

Wincing, I clasped my shirt tighter onto my chest as the pain worsened, and I couldn’t help but miss her even more.

You’re the first person I want to tell everything to. Why… didn’t I… tell you everything sooner?

"Although I wanted to tell you that, that wasn’t the only thing I called you here to do.” Fenris suddenly started.

Oh? Huh?!

Chapter Text

In an instant, Fenris’s demeanor changed as he turned toward me again.

"Oh?" I continued to mumble.

He walked towards me.

Did I... fuck up?

"Hey, do you truly love Rem, Alijah?" He asked.

Finally, something I could answer wholeheartedly, without even thinking twice.

"I do, love her beyond my wildest imagination,” I answered.

He smiled gently, shaking his head before shifting his gaze.

"Well, that was something I needed to confirm personally. She’s my baby girl, after all." He breathed.

Ah... Your heart only knows love. That’s why you can smile so peacefully.

"Yeah, she told me how close you two were," I commented without thinking.

Fenris growled. "You mean are," he corrected.

It seemed I had stepped into a pitfall.

Oops…

"Ah, yeah. Sorry." I mumbled, scratching my head.

Damn it, Alijah sometimes you just got to think before you say something.

I wasn’t trying to start any fights.

Ever since meeting Rem, I have wanted nothing else but to be at peace with her.

"It’s interesting to see how you are. Well, compared to when I met you all those years ago. You have a gentler air around you." He noted, raising his eyebrows at me.

I tilted my head a bit again.

Huh? Rem also said that in her journals, but I don’t really feel…

"Do I? I don’t know. I feel the same, honestly. Maybe freer than I was from my temper." I bit my lip.

Everything comes back to you, Rem. You keep saving me from myself like always. Without you, I’m not grounded at all.

"My daughter did that. Didn't she?" Fenris asked, prompting my gaze to meet his.

"Yes, she did," I answered.

He smiled before suddenly punching me in the face, and I lost my balance and tumbled onto the ground because of it. For a moment, I was stunned, but it wasn’t long before I realized what had happened, breaking out in a slight cackle.

This wolf… You… are…

There was no doubt in my mind that I probably deserved that for my past actions and the fact I fell for his baby girl when I pinned for his wife when we first met.

"That was for kissing my wife all those years ago and for letting my daughter fall into this predicament." He informed me, gazing down from where he stood.

I couldn’t help but break out in laughter because of it. This family was insane.

Don’t you know I can blow this world if I want? I’m just being nice because you’re her father, and if something were to happen to you. She… wouldn’t like it. Ah… Rem… You changed me; please come back already. I… don’t…

"Noted, won’t happen again, sir," I said, licking my lip, which had cracked open from his blow.

However, it soon disappeared as if it had never happened.

"You really have changed. Good." Fenris chuckled, feeling better after pulling one over me.

"Hah… You’re just lucky she’s your blood. Also, don’t misunderstand my submissive cues about what I can do.” I growled.

“Well, it’s good to know I get a pass because I’m going to be your father-in-law, as odd as that sounds.” He smirked as I sighed.

Eh… That’s…

“Don’t you know there are better ways to test someone than smashing into their face with your fist, Fenris?" I huffed, glowering at him.

In an instant, all my annoyance lifted when he beamed his radiant smile, and for a moment, I felt Rem was before me.

"Oh, I know... But it’s better this way." He chuckled, reaching down to help me to my feet.

It reminded me of what Rem had told me. “Alijah, come with me if you want to live!”

Ah… You really are… father and daughter.

My heart was wide open, unable to close fast enough as I went to grab his hand, only for him to shatter any of my remaining walls.

"Alijah, come. Let’s save my daughter together." Fenris grinned, prompting my strong demeanor to crumble.

It allowed all the agony I had been holding back to flood in as I still saw her within him. My eyes widened, unable to digest what he had said.

Eh… I… This family… I…

Before I knew it, tears streamed down my cheeks, causing Fenris to tilt his head in concern.

“Oi, are you okay?” He breathed, leaning down toward me as I covered my face with m! Shit!" I broke as my nerves finally got the better of me.

I had sounded so confident, but I didn’t know if…

"This will work, right? Rem will come back to me, right? I really can’t… lose her." I second-guessed myself.

Everything I tried to hold together felt like it was falling apart as a similar despair filled me. However, before I could entirely fall there, Fenris suddenly pulled me into his chest, radiating a warmth I hadn’t felt before.

Why… are you all… First, Caden brought me food, then Lilith accepted me, and now Fenris...

This entire family shattered every single wall I had.

Ah… Why couldn't I have found them sooner? It… hurts, Rem… How do I make it stop?

"Hah, you really are just a kid, like my babies. It’s okay, Alijah. Even if this doesn’t work, we’ll find a way to get to her. So, don’t give up. We’ll get her back. No matter what, for you and for us who adore her." Fenris reassured me as I couldn’t help but weep like a tiny cub in his arms.

"I’m sorry we adults failed you back then. I promise no one will hurt you like that here." He added as I couldn’t stop myself from letting the pain leak out.

Everything I held back suddenly was so hard to keep bottled up. My father had passed before I could have any memories of him.

Is this how it feels to have one? To have someone care about me?

I thought Rem was one in a million, but it appeared this entire family was exceptional. Placing Vera aside, I couldn’t help but feel bliss with them. The little Luma who kept pushing herself into my heart had brought me this miracle, and I didn’t know what to do with it.

"Oi... if you break, who’ll go save her?" Caden suddenly said from behind us, startling me.

This brat... You’re another one that is digging into me! Argh… Why do I feel like I don’t want to win this fight?

"Even if I shatter into a million pieces, I’ll still save her! No matter what, I’ll make sure she opens her eyes and smiles at me again." I huffed, wiping my face.

The twin smiled at me, placing his hands on his hips.

"That look fits you better. Oh, scary, Alijah." Caden teased.

I wanted to say more, but Fenris came to my aid before I could. After all, he knew his son best.

"Hm... I don't know why you’re acting so tough. After all, you cried before you went—" He started, only to be interrupted by the young pup.

"Oi! Shut up, Dad! He doesn’t need to know that!" The silver wolf growled at his father.

I chuckled, remembering when Lucan and I went at it with my mother as a referee. Perhaps I could fit into this world after losing everything.

I just need you… Here with me.

“That time when you were so close to finding us. I swear I heard your voice squeak a bit." I shot back, feeling more like myself.

Caden's cheeks turned bright pink once again.

"Why you little—" He was about to snap, but I couldn’t help but laugh.

Geez, they’re all like you, Rem. You did mention growing up close to your brothers and father, but this is a bit too much.

"Thank you for everything," I breathed, feeling each step lighter.

It was like the rest of the chains that held me to my past slowly melted away, leaving me free to pursue the future before me. The tone in my voice caused both silver wolves to gaze at me, and then they were met with their radiant smiles.

This warmth you grew up with - there’s no wonder how you destroyed every wall I ever built. Even now, I’m wagging my tail like an idiot, and I don’t care.

There was no stopping Rem when she wanted something, just like there was no stopping me from reaching her.

"Let's go save her." I beamed, feeling lighter than ever before.

Yes… This family is worth getting to know and letting in, even if it scares me.

“Heck, yeah! Let’s do this!” Caden pumped his fist into the air as I shifted my gaze toward Fenris, who used to be someone I thought I’d dislike, but…

There’s no wonder Lily fell in love with you. I’m glad it was you because without you, there would be no Rem, which would’ve been a tragedy. Thank you for bringing her into this world and loving her, but from now on, I’ll be the one loving her the most, okay?

“Where is Aiden? I thought you went to go get the ingredients.” Fenris asked as I

“Oh… Well, Sophie joined him, and I felt like a third wheel again.” Caden pouted, puffing his cheeks.

Turning to the rose garden allowed me to drift off into the colors as the two conversed behind me.

Rem, you really are an idiot. Fenris is proud of you beyond what you believe, and most importantly, he loves you so much that he’s willing to put up with me. Your family is wonderful. So, rest easy. You will never be a burden to any of them.

Even the cranky witch that hates me adores you. I can finally tell why you told me to spare them, but a world without you has no meaning. So... you better come back to me.

Chapter Text

After that touching moment, everyone went to work to bring the plan to fruition. Lilith and Vera prepared the spell and potion, and the Iris needed to lower my resistance to magic. Fenris, Caden, Aiden, and I practiced sharing our essences, which was foreign to me.

I had done it once, in desperation, when that shadow demon was attacking Rem, but to do it on command like these wolves seemed almost impossible. No matter how much Fenris tried to explain it, my essence was too much for them to channel.

However, they could path theirs into mine without much issue. It was peculiar how the moon affected us differently, which made me feel like a monster, in a sense. I could melt away anything in my path, something these three wolves couldn’t do.

The endless energy and raw power within me made it challenging to spar with them. Most of the time, if I slipped, one of them would end up injured. Luckily, we were fast healers, and at most, they seemed annoyed with themselves when I got them. It was the first time I had ever tried to keep my abilities in check, in fear of harming them past the point of no return.

This was unusual for me, as I had always wanted to harm others with it, but that wasn’t the case anymore. There was no bond keeping me in check as I had to do it instead. Even with the occasional slips and aches, the twin boys enjoyed trying to beat me.

Unfortunately, they never could get me down. This meant I was spending less time by Rem’s side, but I still slept every night beside her, wishing she’d wake up on her own. They probably took me out because of how gloomy I looked, having to wait for the preparations to end, but dosing a Lycan with poison was tricky, and Lilith didn’t want any slips.

“You’re going to go crazy if you stay in this room!” Caden huffed, tugging me out for the first time.

The only ones who gave me a bit of trouble were Fenris, Shade, and Ruzgard, especially the familiars when I didn’t play dirty. Usually, whenever I was away from Rem, Amelia, Ben, or anyone else who was free would stay with her. There wasn’t a moment when my little Luma was alone, which made me feel okay even though I wasn’t with her.

It took Lilith an entire month to develop poison for the spell. During that time, I grew closer to the twins, who, much like Rem, insisted they were my age.

I swear, I think this whole family has some screws loose.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t the first test dummy for Lilith’s trials. Fenris’s brother, Ben, volunteered for the experiment.

“Well, if anything goes wrong, I won’t go on a crazy world-ending rampage. Plus, I trust you, Lilith.” He assured the troubled witch, unsure if even to attempt it.

His vampire girlfriend wasn’t happy when she heard about his random sickness, which lasted anywhere from a day to two. She only came once into the manor to visit Rem, which allowed me to learn her name: Tania.

She was rarely in Lyari because she constantly traveled between nations for Cerberus's work. I couldn’t understand this well because I dreaded being away from Rem for just a few hours.

I can’t imagine what it is to be away from your lover for months.

Yet it wasn’t my place to judge their relationship, especially when Ben ensured I’d be acceptable by the end of this spell. When my turn came, I tried the poison to see how effective it would be.

It was less effective for me but enough for Vera to have fun with me. The aftereffects were like having a horrible hangover for two days, but other than that, I was okay. After I had recovered, we would start, yet the day before, even though I still felt sick, I went to Caden for a favor.

“Hey, can you take me into town?” I asked, still feeling a bit queasy.

Are you sure you feel well enough to go? Shouldn’t you rest?” He raised his eyebrows at me as I shook my head.

“I’m not as delicate as you, pup,” I smirked.

Although I was far from stellar, I had something I wanted to accomplish.

“Oi,” Caden growled as I went to move, only to lose my balance, prompting him to help me catch myself. “Nope! You can’t go! Bed rest for you!”

“No—” I tried to argue, only for his twin to interject.

“You’re going to hurt yourself before tomorrow.” Aiden crossed his arms from the side.

“If I’m meeting her tomorrow, I need to look my best, don’t I?” I rolled my eyes, finding my footing.

“Hm… What do you want to do?” Caden asked.

“Haircut,” I replied plainly.

“Wait! Dad’s really good at it! I think he’ll be home soon.” Aiden informed, walking out as his brother sat me on their bed.

Come to think of it, I'm not sure how I made it here. Uh… Can the world stop spinning?

“What?” I mumbled with a delay, prompting Caden to chuckle.

“Yeah, he used to do it for Mom when she had it short.” He informed as I tilted my head.

Before I knew it, Fenris stood by the doorway, and I watched him come in with Aiden and Lilith. She had hair supplies in her hands, leaving me unsure of what was about to happen.

“You really don’t seem good today. Are you sure we shouldn’t postpone it for one more day?” Lily frowned upon seeing the missing color in my skin.

“No, more delays. I’ll be fine with some more sleep.” I reassured her as Shade jumped onto the bed next to me.

“Aiden told me you want to get your hair cut?” Fenris asked as his wife placed the tools on a table nearby.

“Yeah, I don’t want any more misunderstandings when I see Rem again,” I answered, standing up from the bed as he tapped on the wooden chair near the tools.

“I see. Well, sit here; I’ll see what I can do for you.” He said as I slowly made my way to the chair before taking a seat where he wanted me to.

“Just make sure it’s short enough that I don’t have to tie anything to it.” I voiced, feeling a wave of nausea that was quickly quelled by closing my eyes.

“Would you like to donate your hair? It’s so silky.” Lilith suggested.

I shrugged, “Uh… Sure? It’s not as if I’m going to use it.”

“Hmmm, this is going to make some witches happy.” She mumbled under her breath.

My eyes fluttered open, and I focused on her.

What the fuck are they going to do with my hair?

“Wait, what?” I breathed, feeling unsettled by her comment as Fenris grabbed onto my braid before undoing it.

“Is it just a misunderstanding? Or something else?” He asked, picking up the scissors and comb.

“Huh? Well… With this, I’ll bid farewell to my past and welcome my future with Rem.” I felt my cheeks burn.

It should have been an easy answer, yet to put it into words filled my stomach with butterflies.

In a few hours… I’ll… finally see you.

“Good enough.” He chuckled, freeing me from the final chain that had bound me to my past.

The following day, everything began as Ben carried Rem towards the stadium. We didn’t know what would happen when she woke up or if she would wake up, but we had nothing to lose. If something went wrong, I would be a hindrance in my state, yet it didn’t mean I couldn’t fight.

When it was time for me to lie next to her, I felt the jitters fill me as Lilith gave me the potion, which had been explicitly made for me.

“Make sure to hold her hand the entire time.” She repeated for the hundredth time.

She had been lecturing me about what to do for the past week, and by now, I had it all memorized.

"I have you to ensure that, don't I?" I tried to lighten up the mood.

She frowned, shaking her head. “Alijah, you know what I mean! Try to find her and hold on to her. If not, it can become challenging for both of you to reconnect with the world of the living.”

I sighed, "Yeah, you've already lectured me twenty times." I know. Trust me, I’ll come back with her."

Vera handed me an amulet they had created to alert them once I had Rem secured. At that moment, the other blood moon Lycans would attempt to overwhelm me to destroy her little cage.

"Here, this will glow when—" She began.

I scowled, knowing what she was going to say.

"Yes, it’ll notify you. Okay, let’s do this." I mumbled, wanting everything to move faster.

I grabbed onto Rem's hand and chugged the nasty potion down. Instantly, I felt off as a familiar sensation crept up my body, leaving my world spinning. Lily spoke about something I couldn't understand, as my hearing was also muffled.

Suddenly, I lost myself in the darkness before I was yanked towards my destination.

"Oi, Wolf!" A voice I wished to hear called out, shaking me by my shoulders.

Underneath me, the ground felt hot and unstable. My eyes flew open to see Rem with a frown on her lips. Instinctively, I grasped her cheeks, pressing my forehead against hers. Nothing else mattered, just that I could feel her warmth as my ears rang with her voice.

Ah… I’m here! I’m never letting you go again!

It had been almost two months since we last spoken to each other.

"Rem!"

Chapter Text

After being in so much pain, I plunged through the darkness into a warm light where I found myself in my safety net. Even though I knew what had happened, I ran to hide within myself.

I know it was a cowardly move, but I couldn’t stand the thought of Alijah hating me. It was worse than dying itself.

However, it didn’t change the fact that my choice would allow someone to use my body for their needs.

Not that it matters. I can’t ever resist the blood lust. I’m sure they figured out a way to quell me. There’s no reason for me to stay in the world of the living. I’d rather be in my dreams, with the you who loves me no matter what happens.

I had tarnished everything that gave me hope to make Alijah hate me.

The fate of being stabbed and killed was just karma heading in my direction. Everything I touch, I destroy, and I’m better off anywhere where I can’t see how much you loathe me.

After all, I broke my promise, and that ended my life, which was fine.

Knowing I’ve hurt you, I don’t deserve to be by your side, let alone breathe after what I… No… don’t think! Forget it! It’s the past now! No one in this world wants me! Not Vera, Caden, Aiden, or my parents! I’m just a burden to everyone, so I must stay here where I can’t hurt anyone.

So, I built a wall around it to lock myself in my mind, blissfully locking away the memories that kept me tethered to the other world. After this last time, I could harm no one anymore. Most people called me stupid, but I could also be clever, even though my emotions drove me to accomplish this more than my mind.

My very own prison… This way, everyone will be safe from me, especially Alijah.

In the end, he was all that mattered to me, though I hoped my family would treat him right after they took me down. He wasn’t the same man they feared all those months ago. When I sealed myself in this cage, I created a version of him to keep me company in this isolation.

I didn’t know how much time had passed since I locked myself in.

But by this time, Alijah and Lilith, along with everyone else, must’ve been happy, right? No… Wait, something is wrong with that. After I was stabbed, what happened? That elf... said something to me, didn't she?

Why are those last moments so blurry for me? Yet the previous night was so vivid in my mind. Everything I did to Alijah. Yes… I don’t deserve to live.

Unlike the world of the living, in this space, reality was what I made it to be. There were no sides, just mine, which I was okay with. Even when I wanted to cry and scream in pain, I didn’t deserve it. After what I had done to my beloved wolf, I wasn’t worthy of the happiness I was creating for myself, but I couldn’t help it.

I needed it. So, instead of trying to fight to stay with the truth that I would always be alone. I pushed away my sanity, pretending this was the only world that mattered. Thus, I indulged myself in every part of this fake world with a phony beloved wolf to keep me company.

Most of the time, it was blissful, which allowed me to forget this was false. All that mattered to me was that he was there with me and wanted me. After all, nothing awaited me in the outside world.

My freedom’s gone, and so is my love.

Of course, my guilt would sometimes try to eat me alive since those memories were so engraved in me that I couldn’t entirely forget them. Over time, it got easier not to think about where I really was. I tried to concentrate on what I wanted rather than what I felt.

Eventually, even though I slipped through sometimes, I managed to create a space where peace surrounded me. With a swing of the arm, the scenery would change at my command, allowing me to manifest everything I wished. This allowed me to revisit places and spots I had never seen.

Today, though, it was a special place in Azear that I had never been able to visit when we were there. It was a beach with pink sand on its shores and crystal-clear waters. There were pretty shells everywhere, too.

I always wanted to see it with Alijah, and this was my shot. By this point, I had lost touch with reality and was fully invested in this realm.

"Oi... what are we doing here?" My grumpy wolf asked, surprised to see the ocean before him.

“You’ll see!” I grabbed onto his hand and tugged him along.

Here... There was no bond keeping us together.

However, my intentions for being at the beach were not entirely altruistic.

Today will be my chance to admire everything this little wolf offers.

I couldn’t help but drool as my mind ran wild.

“You’re going to try on some bathing suits I got for you!” I declared with a giant grin on my lips.

Of course, as always, he didn’t seem pleased by my selection of events for the day.

A good fake, huh? Grumpy as ever. I wouldn’t change him for the world!

"What? Why would I do that?" Alijah grumbled, rolling his eyes.

I pushed him into the changing stalls quickly, not giving him a chance to escape his predicament. I would see him in trunks, even if it were the last thing I did.

It’s a shame I never got to… No… forget that.

Shaking away that thought, I stared at Alijah, who rested against the door frame. My shove wasn’t enough to put this Lycan where I wanted him to be. Instead, he scowled at me disapprovingly from his position.

"Come on... please? There aren't any speedos in there!" I whined to the crimson-eyed wolf, who cocked his head.

Oh, right, in your era...

"Speedos?" Alijah mumbled, tilting his ears along with the movement.

Adorable…

I giggled, unable to help myself.

I mean, there’s no one around... Can I see you in one? No... No! Rem, bad girl! Don’t assault the poor man like that! Though... I had already...

Breaking away from that, I gazed at him.

"It’s like the underwear you usually take off from me when we do it. Please, I promise the clothes are everyday things people wear to the beach.” I tried to keep a hold on to my inner pervert.

Alijah sighed, closing the door with some more grumbles.

Yes! Victory!

My entire being bubbled with jitters, and I couldn't hold myself still. I did my little triumph dance, only to trip and land on the sand below. It should have hurt, but it didn’t. Instead, I gazed up towards the sky, excited to see him like that.

Though, I didn’t know why I was so thrilled.

I’ve memorized all your features, but there’s something sexy about seeing you in swimwear! Another silly wish, I guess.

By the time Alijah emerged from the stall, he was wearing some red swimming trunks that fit him perfectly, accentuating his crimson gaze. He had let his hair loose, too, making me wish to grab onto him and drag him into the stall for some loving.

Unable to keep my hands to myself, I stood up from the floor and grabbed onto his hand, pulling him out.

Beach first, Rem!

I was already wearing a sweater with a hoodie, hiding my swimsuit underneath it.

Or… screw it. Maybe a little taste won’t hurt.

Before he knew it, I caused him to tumble onto the sand below. He growled momentarily before I found my way onto his lap and placed my arms around his neck. I gazed at him, also wanting to commit this moment to memory.

A nervous chuckle left his lips, and he stared at me like I was at him.

"Little dove, don't tempt me," He warned, grabbing my hips.

I smirked in response, feeling my heartbeat loudly. No matter how many times we were in each other's arms. I could never get enough of this wolf.

"But what if I want you to unravel me?" I purred, biting my lip and reaching for the zipper of my sweater.

A soft smile rose on his lips as I leaned toward him, dragging the only thing keeping my bathing suit from his gaze. He went for me only to stop mid-way before gasping and covering his face with his hands.

"Huh? Wolf?" I called out the nickname I always used while in my dreams, yet it seemed my words weren’t reaching him.

Wait?! Did I break you somehow?! Oh, by the gods... I knew men were fragile, but I didn’t expect this.

I pouted a bit, grabbing onto his shoulders before shaking him.

"Oi, Wolf!" I called out louder.

This isn’t funny…

He shook his head before fluttering his eyes open, only for them to widen the moment he spotted me. His expression instantly changed to desperation, and he suddenly grabbed my head, pressing his forehead against mine.

"Rem!" Alijah called out to me, out of breath, eyes dazed.

Huh? Why do you sound so different?

However, the following kiss almost drowned me before I could gather my thoughts entirely. I couldn’t help but pull away, gasping for air, but before I could get away, he yanked me again into another, and I found myself on the sand.

He towered over me, pinning me where I was. This one was difficult to get away from. The way he kissed me differed from all the other times, too. It was frantic and longing, leaving me bewildered as I couldn’t understand why he was so affectionate.

Finding the strength within me, I tugged myself away yet again.

This... Wait, did you just call me by my actual name?

"What has gotten into you?" I panted for air.

I tried to get up, but Alijah licked his lips and grabbed onto my arm before I could get away from him.

"I came for you." He declared.

I stared at him like he had gone crazy. The only ridiculous person was me, though.

"What?" I mumbled.

He slowly rose from his position to meet me straight.

"It’s me, Rem." Alijah declared, sternly gripping onto me tighter.

Eh… Something isn’t right.

This wasn’t an illusion, but I wasn’t ready to accept it.

There’s no way you would come for me. Not when she was out there for you. She who...

A sting came from my abdomen as I tried to fight off what was happening.

“What are you talking about?! Of course, it’s you!” I pointed out the obvious, trying to pull away but couldn’t.

He shook his head, and I noticed this wasn’t the same Alijah I had been with. His hair was different, short enough not to touch his jawline yet long enough to flutter slightly in the air.

Huh? When… did…

“Rem… You have no idea everything that has happened for me to get to you.” He smiled, gripping onto me tighter.

Tied to his wrist was a pendant that shimmered slightly, as everything around me seemed to take on a red hue.

"Why are you calling me by that name?" I asked, feeling my body run cold.

He narrowed his eyes. "Because it’s time for you to return home, Rem."

I instinctively yanked away from him as the scenery around us began to crack. Taking a few steps away from him, I gazed around me to notice all the fissures that had formed in the spell that kept me safe.

Ah… Right... Right... This has always been fake, but why are you... No… This has to be another facade. A slip? Probably my parents... There’s no way you’re here for me. Not after... I... Nothing awaits me out of here.

They have to leave me alone! I don’t want to go back!

"Back home?" I breathed, trying to resist the truth, trying to reach me.

Instead of letting me get away, he followed me, even though his steps were sluggish behind me.

"No! I..." I began, glancing around as everything was shattering.

Why’s this happening? Why can’t they leave me in this piece of nirvana? I don’t want to live without you. You’re my everything! Even if all I can have is a fake! It’s all I need to live!

"There isn’t anything waiting for me back there! This is home!" I yelled at Alijah, who tried to pull me towards him.

I slapped his arm away, “Stay away from me!”

This isn’t happening. This isn’t real. This is just a screwed up slip. Yes, it has to be. All I have to do is endure it. It’ll fix itself soon enough.

"Please, Rem, listen to me." Alijah tried to reach me again, but I wasn't interested.

None of you will trick me into giving this up! No one will take my nirvana from me!

Chapter Text

As Alijah reached out to me, I felt a flare of heat flow through my body.

"Stop!" I screamed, triggering crystals to sprout from the ground towards him, who barely dodged them.

For a moment, I was shocked. I almost impaled him, even if he was a fake. He was the person I loved the most in this world. My hands trembled while the scenery around me continued to shatter into pieces.

“Rem,” Alijah breathed, wincing as his stance was staggered.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I felt like my world was falling apart again.

"Please, don’t come any closer! I don’t want to hurt you again!" I cried, turning away from him to get some distance.

"Rem, please, I—" Alijah tried to speak.

I didn’t let him. I never did.

"Shut up!" I screamed again.

More crystals appeared, allowing a gap to form between us. This space bent to my will, and nothing I didn’t want would happen there. Yet, it also appeared unstable because it was actively trying to push Alijah away.

No, it was trying to end him as if he were an intruder.

"Ah… I’m having one of those episodes, right? Yes... It’ll pass soon. I just need to calm down." I mumbled, clasping my hands onto my chest, refusing to gaze toward the wolf I adored.

"No! Rem, it’s really me, please come to me!" Alijah tried to reach my closed heart.

The moment the memories from that night flowed into me, how he tasted, how I hurt him.

There… is…

"Shut up! There’s no way the real you would be here! You hate me!" I yelled as more crystals attempted to impale the wolf, who barely dodged them again.

This isn’t the real you, and if you won’t bend to my will, then I’ll recreate you.

"It’s me, Rem!" He shouted at me, having to move soon after because of the minerals forming around him.

"Liar! There’s no way you’d be here! After all, you have her! Why would you choose me when you’ve loved her for six thousand years?! I… I’m just a plaything who took things too far!" I felt like my sanity was snapping.

Alijah struggled to keep up with me when I continued to walk away from him. The moment blood appeared in my hands, it halted me in my tracks. This allowed the struggling wolf to find the break to reach me again.

"I did choose you, Rem! I love you! Please believe me; if you don’t, let me prove it to you!" He declared, standing just a few gaps between us.

I turned to him, livid.

How dare you lie like that?! Alijah, I know you’ll never love me. I was a warm body for you, nothing more!

"Lies! I’m nothing to you!" I shrieked, letting out all the pain and anger I had for him.

Why… couldn’t you choose me? I would’ve loved you with everything I am. I… would’ve given you the world if I could.

My thoughts echoed around me, and I felt like I was on the verge of breaking. The space we were in became more unstable.

“Rem! Please!” His voice cracked as I went to turn away, only for darkness to begin to slip through the fractures in the spell.

There, I noticed a bird was flying around the fissures.

“Remember, Fenrir!” A female voice shouted through the abyss beyond the incantation.

Before me, a memory played in the surrounding area, where I was in my wolf's arms while I faded from the world.

“I'll fucking follow you to death! Do you hear me, Rem?!” The phrase caused me to widen my eyes.

Eh? I… don’t… recognize those words, but why do they sound so familiar?

Suddenly, I was bombarded with the last moments I had spent with the living. A gut-wrenching scream left my lips, feeling the agony of the blade sinking into my flesh. Alijah took the chance to throw himself toward me.

"Rem!" Alijah yelled at me, barely avoiding all the crystals that threatened to end him.

I felt lost.

Is this real? Nothing makes sense.

"No... No!" I screamed before I found myself engulfed by my beloved’s arms as he held me closely, even though he had scratches all over his body.

Eh? When did you get hurt? Did I do that? No... I... I never wanted to hurt you!

"It’s okay! I’m here." Alijah reassured me.

“Why?” I mumbled, unable to shake him off.

"I love you, Rem. Please believe me." My wolf pleaded with me, his voice filled with pure desperation.

At that moment, I remembered everything I had been trying to push down, including what Lilith had done to me—all of it. How Alijah cried while I lay dying in his arms. There was no way that was fake.

Tears streamed down my cheeks while I grabbed onto the arms that held me so firmly.

Surely, they will never let me go.

"Ah... I wanted to bathe in the beach at least one time." I mumbled something random.

Alijah chuckled, unable to believe what I was saying. His breathing was unstable, yet I didn’t notice it because of the emotions swelling within me.

"I’ll take you to the real one soon. I promise." Alijah chuckled, holding me tenderly in return.

It caused me to break out into a sob.

"Even after what I did to you in that mushroom forest?" I cried, unable to hold the guilt within me any longer.

I’m so stupid. Why did I do that to you?! Why was I so scared of listening to you? I should’ve let you speak. I’m so sorry.

In response to hearing that question, he came close to my ear and lightly kissed it.

"You did nothing wrong, stupid girl. Didn't I already give you permission to put it in whenever you wanted? Alijah reassured me.

Lier…

"I did more than just stick it in." I lamented sincerely.

My words triggered a chuckle from Alijah's lips. He got closer to my ear. His genuine embrace differed from the one I had made of him. It was so warm that I couldn’t handle it.

Is it truly mine?

"Do you want to know what I’ll do to you because of that?" Alijah purred into my ear.

I shook my head, not wanting to know what awaited me.

"You won’t regret picking me?" I mumbled, tears still trailing down my cheeks.

He gripped onto me tighter than before.

"You’re the only choice for me. Little dove, I’m sorry for making you wait so long for me. Forgive me for forgetting our time together in this space as well.” Alijah whispered.

Eh? What did you just say? Little dove...  Were you really here with me all these years? Does this mean I’m not delusional after all? I...

"Is it true?" I asked as he licked my ear, making my heart flutter.

"Well, I’ll make sure you know everything as a fact when we get back," Alijah answered, placing one of his hands on my lower abdomen. "I’ll even put a pup here if that’s what you want."

Even though what he had said was endearing, it only caused my chest to ache as the guilt of everything I had done came flooding back.

"No, I only want you. I don’t care about anything else!" I whimpered, prompting him to spin me around and gently brush his lips against mine, which felt so warm.

Everything...

"Oh, don’t misunderstand me, love. One day, I want a family with you, whenever that may be.” Alijah declared, separating from me.

I wanted to feel the rush of happiness that came with it, but the moment he tugged away, my eyes were finally opened. Instantly, I noticed how unwell he seemed to be. Grabbing onto his cheeks, he seemed short of breath, too.

All the cuts were also healing slower than usual. The color had drained from his skin, leaving me unsure why he was acting this way.

"Alijah, are you okay? What’s wrong?" My voice trembled, triggering a smile to rise on his lips.

Instead of letting me worry, he grabbed my hands and shook his head slightly.

"I’m fine, love. I promise." He reassured me.

Argh… I may be an airhead at times, but I’m not blind!

"You don’t look fine," I huffed, narrowing my eyes.

“Trust me. I’m fine." He sighed, his lips brushing mine slightly.

Lier, you look worse than when you drank that potion back in Azear.

However, I couldn’t argue with him either, at least not while he was in that state.

"Let’s go home, Rem. There are many people who want to see you, too," he announced.

I slowly nodded. “Okay.”

It was time to go home and face the music. Suddenly, his body shone a bright red, causing the entire space to collapse.

"Good girl." My wolf breathed, holding me tightly against him.

The floor beneath us suddenly gave way, causing everything to shatter and prompting us to plummet through an abyss in free fall. It caused me to slip from Alijah's grip as he instinctively reached for me. Our fingers brushed slightly together before suddenly getting yanked apart.

“Rem!” He yelled, reaching for me again.

His body was starting to become transparent, while mine remained solid.

“Alijah!” I shouted back, trying to get to him, but no matter what I did, the distance only grew.

Out of the abyss, a shadow emerged, diving past the disappearing wolf and toward me.

"Good job, lover boy, but your job is done. "Begone!" a weird bird asserted, appearing suddenly between us.

Huh?! Who are—

Before that thought was fully formed, she wrapped herself around me as something sucked me deeper into the darkness. I was helpless when Alijah suddenly disappeared into thin air as the black hole pulled me closer to it, leaving me alone to the fate that awaited me.

Chapter Text

Although a darkness was pulling me towards an unknown destination, my heart fluttered because the person I loved most had told me how he felt.

Ah… This is so unfair… I just want to be with you. Why… did this…

"Let go of me!" I screamed at the bird, trying to get it off me.

Those attempts were futile as every tug and shove her body melted into mine.

"Hah, don’t worry, my dearest, you’ll see him soon. This needs to be done to save your soul from that witch. I’ll be damned if she takes you before the merge!" She announced, her bright blue eyes shimmering as purple flames started to sprout around me before a bright light consumed us soon after.

For a moment, I was in a state of nothingness before a woman’s voice echoed within my mind.

"I’m you, and you’ll be me. We’ll be forever united until the end of time comes. My name is Midnight, mistress of the cycle of death and rebirth.” She recited.

I couldn’t speak, but her light felt so warm that I couldn’t reject her. It was almost as if she had always been there, even though I had never met her. My eyes flew open to find myself up in the air, surrounded by a smoky black aura that came from the birthmark in my chest as it burned hotter than ever before.

A red aura surrounded my body as the same bird from before erupted from my core, shifting her gaze toward my family and Alijah, who were below me. Even though I could see them, I couldn’t move or speak.

In a split second, pulses of agony surged through my body, making me glad I couldn’t say a single thing. I would’ve wailed harder than I had ever done before. It was almost as if every cell in my body was being rewritten and torn into something new.

Markings appeared on my body while I could hear Vera shriek under me, too. Even though I wanted to help her, I couldn’t move a centimeter. The bird named Midnight radiated a blue aura, spreading her wings above me.

"Girl! Now’s your chance to save your sister, who took the curse that would’ve killed you! You who dared shatter his soul before it could be fully whole!" Midnight yelled at the witch, who could barely bear the pain coursing through her.

From the corner of my eyes, I could see the markings had also appeared on her body. However, I didn’t know what was happening. I was just a bystander in the unfolding events.

"Why should I believe you?!" Vera screamed, glaring at the goddess, who couldn’t help but cackle at her question.

My brothers tried to help our sister, but were quickly repelled by the energy surging from her. It was out of her control, which I had never seen happen to her.

"Stupid girl, we don’t have time to fight each other! The eternal witch is trying to suck the remaining parts of her soul through the curse that connects them! If you don’t stop it now, it’ll claim Rem, leaving this body a soulless husk! I can’t hold on to her for much longer!" Midnight snapped.

Though I could hear her thoughts. His soul is mine and mine alone. The witch dares to take him from me. Unforgivable! I’ll protect him at all costs.

Eh? Who is he?

"But..." Vera appeared as she shifted her gaze to our mother, who couldn’t reach her either.

With every second that passed, the darkness grew larger around me as the pain became almost unbearable.

Mom, you once had your soul... well, part of your soul, torn apart. Is this how you felt that day all those years ago? Oh, by the gods...

I wanted to scream bloody murder, but nothing left me. Tears trailed down my cheeks despite Midnight's magic having frozen me.

Sorry, love. If they hear you screaming like a maniac or you bite your tongue. It’ll all end horribly. So be good and bear it a little longer. After all, this is nothing to what you’ve felt before! Her words echoed within me.

Before? What do you mean? What’s happening?!

"Hurry! I already linked you to Rem in our previous battle. Now do it!" Midnight yelled at Vera, who was glowing the same color as my body.

She screeched a second later as the hue turned dark purple. Instead of addressing my sister's pain, the bird shifted her attention to my father and brothers.

"You mutts need to share your essence with Rem to the point you think it will break her. This witch is using the power of the gods! We’ll need everything to stop her!" She huffed as they appeared hesitant, but that didn’t stop them from doing what needed to be done.

There was no going back, and the energy that permeated from everywhere was ominous enough for my family to act. Their energy surged through me at that moment, prompting my chest to feel scorched. Luckily, I couldn’t express the agony I was under.