Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

8:41 AM

OJ
Guys
@everyone
We have a problem

Paper
every time i see this server name pop up in my notifications i want to shave myself bald and mail my hair to 4
anyway what's up

Lightbulb
i support bald paper…

OJ
I don't
Anyway

Paper
WGAT

OJ
I don't have the funds for our road trip anymore 💔

Paper
?!!?!??
WHAT HAPPENED

OJ
Father Dearest.

Lightbulb
omga…
this is the worst news imaginablr

Paper
i just sniffled
and then remembered he can't see me right now

OJ
I'm in your walls

Paper
and you're not going to say hi? :(

Lightbulb
waow

Four
DO NOT FRET
i happen to have enough money to donate towards this cause

OJ
Please stop talking like that….

Four
never, you FIEND

Paintbrush
are we using your dad's money again

Four
absolutely we are… ❤️

Paintbrush
awesome

Apple
hey man that's illegal

Four
do you even know what illegal means

Apple
STOP I KNOW WORDS

Four
🤔
your f- in english says otherwise

Apple
NO!!!

Four
anwyay its just a couple hundred for gas, he won't notice it missing

Paper
i hate rich people

Paintbrush
me too

OJ
Hey, in his defense. His richness is helping us out this time

Lightbulb
im going to adopt a crab at the beach…. put him in a little jar and feed him mini apple crust for brunch……

Apple
WHAT

Paintbrush
average lightbulb comment

Lightbulb
baxter….. snuffles

OJ
Who

Lightbulb
baxter 💔💔💔

Paintbrush
here we go again

OJ
Can we go back to Apple having an F- in English
How does this even happen

Apple
BE NICE TO ME
im just a girl

OJ
If you say so

Lightbulb
baxterrr 😭😭😭

Nickel
what is happening

Paintbrush
she misses her son

Nickel
???
teen pregnancy?

Paper
i actually sighed irl
btw

Apple
WGHAT THE FUCK 😭😭

Nickel
god forbid a man make a joke

Apple
yeah
i hate men

Nickel
🤔

Apple
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
WHO IS BAXTER
WHAT IS HAPPENING
IM SO LOST

Lightbulb
baxter :(((
hes my pet carb..
i had ro leave him at my aunts house this semester though 💔 our ac broke and i didn't want to risk the heat lamp also bteaking

Apple
NOO
its so ober actually genuinely

Nickel
can someone get this guys ac fixed so we can be free from her complaining about baxter

Lightbulb
baxter 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Nickel
STOP

Lightbulb
NO

Paintbrush
be nice to her she's grieving

12:44 PM

OJ
Can someone get ahold of Balloon? I've texted him thrice now and he's not responding

Nickel
@Balloon

Balloon
HUH
what's going on

OJ
.
Anyway
Do you have your bags packed?

Balloon
YYUUUP

OJ
I'm coming to pick you up first and then everyone else afterwards

Paper
im already in the car

Balloon
OKAY

Nickel
nice
i have to hurry

Marshmallow
AUUUHH IM NOT PACKED YET

OJ
Guys….

Marshmallow
I JUST WOKE UP 4 MINS AGO

Apple
yeah i can confirm
we're on vc

Nickel
dawg 😭

Marshmallow
KYS.

Four
i made a playlist for us on the trip

OJ
If it's all white girl music, we're not listening

Four
drat
its early 2000s pop does that still count

OJ
… I guess it can slide for now

Four
YES

Paper
my boyfriend is bonding with other men :/

Paintbrush
i still don't know why we're doing this the week before school starts

Nickel
god gave us free will so we could use it

Paintbrush
we are minors.

OJ
Not me

Paintbrush
you don't count

Marshmallow
or me

Paintbrush
sigh.

Lightbulb
somehodysave them 💔

Apple
and IM the one with an f- in english

Nickel
yeah. you are

Apple
aoough
ouch
that one really hurt nickel
💔💔💔

Nickel
LMAO

Paper
oj just dropped his phone between his seat and the door
and he screamed, slammed his hand on the steering wheel, cleared his throat and kept singing to the radio

Nickel
kind of real

Paper
also balloon just put his bare feet on the back of ojs seat

Lightbulb
PUT THOSE DOGS AWAY

Paper
that's what im saying

Apple
MARSH IS ONLINE AGAIN

Marshmallow
HAAAIIIII

Apple
HIIIIIIIIIIII

Paper
oh wow
watch out marshmallow you're next

Marshmallow
?!!!!!?!?!!?!?!!??!!??!!

Paper
we've got four and lightbulb now

Marshmallow
AHHH

Paper
okay off we go goodbye chat

Chapter Text

6:50 AM

Paintbrush
i just took the fattest shower of my entire life
oh how i missed you scalding hot water

Paper
REAL oh my god

OJ
I can't believe a single motel didnt have working hot water

Paintbrush
its actually so over

Lightbulb
my… wallet…….

OJ
I'm so glad Four could pay for most of that

Four
what can i say. privileges of a neglectful father

OJ
Still, we ended up having to get Lightbulb to drive another car to fit everyone. That was a lot of gas

Four
🤷‍♂️
he owns an entire tech company

OJ
True

4s
FOIR STOP BLASITNG TAYLOR SEIFT IM GOING TO FUCKING KILLYOU

OJ
I forgot he was here

Paintbrush
me too

Paper
rip four

Lightbulb
4s… can i call you slimjim

4s
?

Four
absolutely please do

4s
IT IS SEVEN AM YOU HAVR CLASS IN AN GOUR

Four
aww you care about my education 🥹

8:15 AM

Balloon
GUYS IM GOING TO BE LATE
please cover for me @Knife 🙏 i dont need another detention with mr hawaii

8:37 AM

Balloon
youll never be able to guess what happened

Paintbrush
detention?

Balloon
yeahhh 😕

Paintbrush
yikes good luck

Balloon
knife was the only one i share this class with 😕

Nickel
im pretty sure he has pings off in this server

Balloon
SIIIGHHH

Apple
guys the app update is in 20 minutes

Balloon
are you serious

Apple
yeah 💔

Paintbrush
please don't make it ugly please don't make it ugly

Chapter Text

9:01 AM

Paintbrush: they made it ugly.

Balloon: okay this is terrible i hate this so much

Apple: EW EW EW UGLY GET IT AWAY FROM ME

Paintbrush: i think this is the worst thing to happen to me all week

Balloon: i want to go back 😕

Yay, you made it, Suitcase!!

Apple: WHO

Balloon: OH EM GEE SUITCASE

Suitcase: HIIHHIIIHHHIIIIIIII
Suitcase: KNIFE INVITED ME HERE!!!

Balloon: ITA SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN

Suitcase: YYIPPEEE

Nickel: you.

Suitcase: YOU.
Suitcase: wow he wasn't kidding i do know a lot of you

Knife: I told you it would be fine

Suitcase: AHH

Balloon: AAHHH

[DMs: Paper, OJ]

11:56 AM

OJ: Hey Paper, are you alright?
OJ: You've been acting off all day
OJ: I don't usually see you this irritable

Paper: im ok

OJ: Are you sure? You can tell me if something's wrong

Paper: its fine

OJ: Okay, if you say so. I'm here if you need me though <3

Paper: mhm

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]
channel: introductions

12:05 PM

Paintbrush: figured i’d make this since we've got a new member

Suitcase: HIIIII HHIII HIII
Suitcase: im suitcase i use she/her pronouns uhh uhhhh i have pretty bad anxiety so if i come off weird or something im sorry…

Paintbrush: all good most of us here have some kind of mental illness lmao

Apple: HI SUITCASE IM APPLE
Apple: also she/her and uhh im dating @Marshmallow and im famous here for my f- in english class

Suitcase: HOW

Paintbrush: she needs a dyslexia exam or something
Paintbrush: anyway
Paintbrush: im paintbrush, they/them, i don't really know what else to add

channel: general

Balloon: KNIFE.
Balloon: @Knife
Balloon: HE WENT OFFLINE ARE YOU SERIOUS

Nickel: to be fair we're meant to be doing work right now

Balloon: augoufhhh gh h 💔

Apple: real
Apple: chat im concerned about paper he's been quiet all day and like. annoyed

Nickel: he probably stayed up all night studying again

Apple: i don't know this one seems different

OJ: I checked up on him already and he didn't really give me a straight answer
OJ: Just leave it for now, he'll open up when he's ready

Apple: okay 💔
Apple: tell him i care though

OJ: Of course

4:33 PM

Four: good morning america! we are free
Four: im listening to 2000s pop again

OJ: Fork found in kitchen

Apple: weiner found in pants

Marshmallow: baby found in womb

Suitcase: HAHDJSA WHAT

Four: this is such a stupid bit im going to kill myself

Marshmallow: WHO IS SUITCASE

Balloon: my pookie bear 🥺

Suitcase: :3

Baseball: SUITCASE!!

Suitcase: BASEBALL!!!!

Four: how wholesome
Four: am i the only one that doesn't know anybody

Paintbrush: yeah seems like it

Lightbulb: PAINTY

Paintbrush: hey :)

Lightbulb: I HAVE OUR SON AGAIN

Paintbrush: i’m coming over right now
Paintbrush: i miss our son

Lightbulb: YAYAYAY
Lightbulb: he missed you too 💔 hes staring longinglu at a picture ofyou…. he takes adter his mom

Suitcase: is this yuri 🤨

Balloon: im so cooked im still in detention

Nickel: is hawaii telling you about his wife again

Balloon: YES OH MY GOD
Balloon: please get a divorce dude

Four: that's what im saying

Suitcase: ?!?!
Suitcase: are we talking about the one teacher whos always wearing those fuckass shirts

Balloon: yyyuuup

Nickel: he's actually the reason for this server’s creation
Nickel: somehow every single one of us got detention and decided to make something out of it

Suitcase: i was wondering how knife suddenly got a ton of friends

Nickel: LMFAOOO

Balloon: that's crazy

Suitcase: LISTEN
Suitcase: he's not exactly sociable

Nickel: true
Nickel: but ive been friends with him for a while

Suitcase: i know. unfortunately

Four: she hit the floor
Four: next thing you know
Four: shawty got low low low low

4s: KILL YOURSELF ACTUALLY GEJUINELY

Four: okay! goodbye everyone tell my father i hate him

Suitcase: jawdrop????

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]
channel: general

11:04 PM

Welcome, MEPAD! We hope you brought pizza!

MEPAD: Good evening, everyone. I’m here to announce that Four will be out of commission for the next few days due to some personal matters. He asked me to inform you all and reassure everyone that he will be alright.
MEPAD: Oh, right. I am his brother, MePad.

Nickel: is it because career day is tomorrow
Nickel: i heard his father has a slot

Lightbulb: oohg g nicky you can'r just ask thst :(

Nickel: it's literally fine he doesn't care

MEPAD: I'm afraid Nickel was correct.
MEPAD: He is under a lot of stress at the moment.

Lightbulb: tell him to take care please :(

MEPAD: I’ll pass on your wishes.

channel: introductions

MEPAD: MePad, he/she. I identify as bigender and bisexual. I’m Four’s brother.

Paintbrush: another new kid

Lightbulb: omga…

MEPAD: I don't know why you're shocked, Lightbulb. You were there when I joined.

Paintbrush: she's just dumb

Lightbulb: HEY

channel: general

3:46 AM

Four: is anyone awake?

3:57 AM

Message deleted.

6:33 AM

Lightbulb: GOOT MORN

OJ: I just fell out of bed

Nickel: real asf

Apple: auughsjjkkk
Apple: i dont want to go to school today 💔

Nickel: same
Nickel: ive got too many absences this semester already though

Apple: i have an english exam 😭😭😭😭😭

Nickel: yeah good luck

Lightbulb: someone savr her…
Lightbulb: carb 🦀

OJ: ?? Someone new joined?

Nickel: fours brother

OJ: Oh okay

Knife: Important news
Knife: I just saw Taco get on the bus

Nickel: hasn't it been an entire two months since she's been in school

Knife: Yes.

OJ: So much is happening and I JUST woke up

Knife: I hope you explode

OJ: No.

Lightbulb: i can finally strip butt ass naked and jump in the air while yhe sun goes down happily ever after

OJ: WHAT

Lightbulb: 😁😁

Balloon: TACOS BACK?? 😭

Marshmallow: i got my ticket for the long way round, two bottles of whiskey for the way and i sure would like some sweet company and im leaving tomorrow what do you say
Marshmallow: TAFO????????

Balloon: IM CRYING

Lightbulb: im cride

Paintbrush: guys i am so fucking hungry

Lightbulb: spreads legs

Paintbrush: .
Paintbrush: what

Balloon: WHAT

Marshmallow: my jaw actually just fell to the floor

Nickel: average lightbulb comment idk what you guys are on

Lightbulb: OH BABY WHEN YOU TALK LIKE THAT YOU KNOW TOU GOT THEM HYPNOTIZED

Nickel: is that shakira

Lightbulb: noooooo :2

Knife: I don't like how fast we moved on from Taco

Paintbrush: are you obsessed with her or something

Knife: No

Paintbrush: ok cool

Knife: Growls. eyes turn red

Paintbrush: get away from me Freak

Knife: Snarls louder and bares my teeth
Knife: My claws come out and I grow twice as large
Knife: Grows wings and tail and horns and three sets of wings

Paintbrush: okay that's enough im getting breakfast and changing clothes brb

Knife: They just don't get it

Balloon: KNIFE

Knife: What

Balloon: you didnt cover for me the other day 💔

Knife: ?
Knife: Do you mean for class?

Balloon: yeah 💔

Knife: Its because I'm secretly your arch nemesis and I pray on your downfall each day

Balloon: WHAT THE FUCK

7:01 AM

Paper: morning

10:46 AM

Lightbulb: omga papers back

Paper: took you long enough

Lightbulb: sorgee 🦀

Paintbrush: if you actually cared about her you'd know she has no brain

Lightbulb: painty ;(
Lightbulb: 🦀

Knife: Its so weird sitting next to Taco and not Four

Suitcase: who is taco

Lightbulb: whoo boy

Paper: an old friend of (most of) ours that turned out to not be very nice
Paper: we haven't spoken since middle school though

Suitcase: oh no :(

Paper: its fine we've all moved on
Paper: well
Paper: some of us anyway

Pickle: Hey.

Paper: wow he's alive

Marshmallow: guys im about to crash the fuck out
Marshmallow: im on my period and the pads i usually buy just changed their sizes so theyre significantly smaller and not only do i now have to layer 2 pads i just bled into my pants and i didn't notice until just now

Paintbrush: most reasonable crash out

Marshmallow: im actually so Mad

Paintbrush: so glad i have a dick and balls ❤️

Marshmallow: kys
Marshmallow: on the plus side i can sit out of career day and go home early i love my teacher

Suitcase: LUVKY???
Suitcase: my teachers just tell me to man up whenever im on my period
Suitcase: ironically enough

Marshmallow: you're so beyond cooked. burnt, even

2:12 PM

Apple: im playing regretevator before my exam

Paintbrush: hang on let me join you

Apple: YED
Apple: i have a floor quest streak im so cooked

Paintbrush: it's so over for you

Apple: i knowwwww 💔💔💔

Nickel: wait me and knife are joining too

Apple: THE SERVERS GOING TO NE FULL IM LAUGHING

Nickel: ill just kill someone to enter like dr retro

Apple: guys dr retro lowkey scares me

Nickel: WHAT

Apple: LISTEN

Paintbrush: this is really funny to me

Apple: i don't even know what it is about her she just makes me uncomfortable

Paintbrush: don't worry i support you

Apple: thank you 💔

Nickel: i mean
Nickel: she kind of gives me uncanny valley but that's about it

Apple: what is uncanny valley

Nickel: the weird feeling you get when you look at something that's human but not enough or too much
Nickel: like dolls or mannequins

Apple: AHHH
Apple: mannequins terrify me

Paintbrush: my service on this side of the school isn't good enough for me to jojn im killing myself

Nickel: L
Nickel: mine is good enough to join and have music on in the background

Paintbrush: i hope you die

Nickel: apparently knife can't join his account got suspended for a day

Paintbrush: wtf did he do

Nickel: @Knife tell them yourself

Knife: I gave Pickle backshots while we were playing Forsaken

Paintbrush: ????? 😭
Paintbrush: you did that to yourself i can't lie to you

Knife: I know
Knife: It was worth it

Nickel: LMAO

Welcome, Taco! We hope you brought Pizza!

Nickel: WHAT.

Apple: HELLO??&(#&))/

Chapter Text

Pickle has kicked Taco from the server.

Pickle: anyway

Nickel: dawg who even invited her 😭

Pickle: No clue but im ignoring it

Paintbrush: my jaw is actually on the floor right now
Paintbrush: speak of the devil and she will arrive i guess

Nickel: the devil is one word for it

Apple: actually that's two

Nickel: can you kill yourself

Apple: okay! 😁

Nickel: knife’s phone just died and he proceeded to swear so loudly
Nickel: im surprised the teacher didn't get him in trouble

Paintbrush: real tbh

Apple: I HAVE TO GO DO MY EXAM
Apple: WISH ME LUCK

Paintbrush: good luck don't fail again

Nickel: gl

3:45 PM

Apple: i failed 😭😭

Marshmallow: NOO 💔

Apple: its actually so over for me

Nickel: hey
Nickel: you can't disappoint someone who's expectations are already at the lowest

Apple: YHATS INSANE?

Marshmallow: its okay i always believe in you

Apple: this is why you're the best ❤️

Marshmallow: i know :3

Nickel: gross

Balloon: HI NICKEL

Nickel: hey

Apple: LMAO

Marshmallow: hypocrite say what?

Nickel: what

Marshmallow: I CANT BELIEVE THAT WORKED LMAOOAOAO

Nickel: i hope you die

Marshmallow: me too ❤️

Apple: NO??

Balloon: my bus just passed its stop 😕
Balloon: but i dont want to say anything… what if they hate me or something

Nickel: dawg
Nickel: unless you want to spend the night on the bus in its garage you better say something

Balloon: wait you're so right brb

Nickel: welp. he's cooked

Apple: have a little faith 💔

Nickel: nah not my thing

Apple: poor balloon…

Suitcase: i could treat him better 🥺

Apple: I KNOW I CAN TREAT YOU BETTER THAN HE CAN

Suitcase: AND EVERY GIRL LIKE YOU DESERVES A GENTLEMAN

Apple: SO TELL ME WHY WE WASTING TIME ON ALL YOUR WATSED CRYING

Suitcase: HAHAHA
Suitcase: you get me
Suitcase: i get you
Suitcase: were like twins

Marshmallow: woww are you trying to steal my gf..

Suitcase: NOOOOO

Marshmallow: 🤨🤨🤨🤨

Apple: LMAO
Apple: don't worry my heart belongs to you only

Nickel: i think i threw up in my mouth a little bit

Apple: :3

Marshmallow: :3

Nickel: someone save me

Suitcase: HAHAHAA

11:13 PM

Taco just joined!! Everyone look busy!

Pickle has kicked Taco from the server.

Pickle: Anyways.

[DMs: Pickle, Taco]

11:44 PM

Pickle: Leave them alone, Taco. They don't want anything to do with you.

[DMs: Taco, MEPAD]

2:21 AM

Taco: i told you that it wouldn't work

MEPAD: You were the one to request that of me. I merely did as you said

Taco: i suppose.
Taco: either way, i must talk to them. i will not rest until i have done so.

MEPAD: As you wish. I will do my best to convince them to listen.

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiot island extended family]

8:09 PM

Nickel: im so serious
Nickel: my sim just fucking exploded
Nickel: one second she was minding her own business painting a masterpiece and the next? fucking dead

Apple: WHAT

Paintbrush: how does this even happen

Nickel: extreme violence mod

Paintbrush: of course you play with extreme violence. what did anybody expect

Lightbulb: omg…. nickl….. thays not very pg of you

Nickel: die

Lightbulb: :( 🦀

Paintbrush: be nice to her she's just a girl

Nickel: i hate women

Paintbrush: my jaw dropped

Apple: because youre gay? 😭

Nickel: …sure
Nickel: anyway
Nickel: dawg wtf do i do about this

Paintbrush: uninstall the mod and try again

Nickel: how else am i supposed to deal with my deep dark violent urges and tendencies

Paintbrush: genuinely shut up

Apple: IM LAUGHING

Marshmallow: ???
Marshmallow: i just woke up and nickels already talking about violence

Nickel: it is 8 pm

Marshmallow: im on my period be nice to me

Nickel: god these women and their excuses

Marshmallow: KYS????
Marshmallow: watch out boy you're going to get the taco treatment

OJ: This server is going to make me cry one day

Paintbrush: hey it was your idea

MEPAD: Speaking of Taco. I would like to have a word with @everyone

Paintbrush: uh oh

Nickel: aw hell nah 😭😭

MEPAD: Taco has expressed to me a concern to right her wrongs. I will not speak for her, it is up to you to decide on whether or not you wish to hear her out.

Paintbrush: are you the one who invited her

MEPAD: I am, yes. I apologize for doing so without anybody's permission. She saw that Four added me and requested that I send her an invite.

Lightbulb: nahh its chill she has a wau with her words

MEPAD: Regardless, is it alright if I add her once more so she can be heard out properly?

Paintbrush: i don't care but it should ultimately be up to pickle oj and paper

OJ: Paper is MIA for the time being. I think its alright

Pickle: I guess so

MEPAD: Wonderful! One moment, please.

Taco has arrived! Everyone say hello!

Lightbulb: hiya taco

Pickle: Make it quick

Taco: there is quite a lot that i want to say but i understand that nobody wants to read a novel of emotion, so i will keep it as short as possible. i have no intention to rekindle old relationships, merely mend what i have broken.
i did wrong. i did a lot of wrong. those i claimed to be my closest of friends, i went behind their backs and mocked and ridiculed them all the while pretending to be so kind to them. i was in a terrible place and i took it out on the only people who had ever been there for me when i should have leaned on the shoulders offered for me instead. i am deeply sorry for all the hurt that i have caused, and i know that, regardless of if we remain friends, i will never repeat these actions. i have learned my lesson well.
Taco: this mostly goes out to pickle, oj and paper as those are the most affected by my actions, but it applies to everyone who knew me as well.

OJ: I'm going to be so real here. I literally have not thought about you once since eighth grade. Middle school was a terrible time for everybody and we all made mistakes. I'm not going to discredit everything you've done but you're not weighing on my conscience or anything. I forgave you a long time ago.

Taco: thank you, oj, it honestly may not have been what i expected but i appreciate it nonetheless

OJ: I know
OJ: But next time you need to apologize, maybe consider finding another way
OJ: Breaking into a group chat isn't exactly the most apologetic way to go about it

10:16 PM

OJ: I don't think Pickle is going to respond

Taco: i see

MEPAD: He went offline a long time ago.

Taco: well
Taco: even if i do not stay here
Taco: you all had better treat mepad well. there was a lot of conversation behind the scenes between us two and she is the only reason that i felt like i should attempt to mend things as i wished to for so long.

Paintbrush: it's good to see you trying

Nickel: yeah
Nickel: we forgave balloon, we can learn to do the same for you 🤷‍♂️

Lightbulb: i think she should stay
Lightbulb: as long as she doesnt hurt anyone

Nickel: yeah

Paintbrush: i agree
Paintbrush: might as well make things interesting

Taco: what about pickle?

Nickel: he's never active here
Nickel: honestly if he has an issue with it we'll remove you but i don't think he'll gaf

Taco: thank you

Nickel: anyway im going the fuck ro bed goodnight chat

Lightbulb: goot noght

Paintbrush: im also going to bed im so fucking tired

Lightbulb: painty :((
Lightbulb: gnnnn :(((

Apple: there's a Word for people like You……

Marshmallow: apple 😭

Apple: I CAN SAY IT IM LITERALLY GAY

Marshmallow: LMAOOO

Lightbulb: IM NOT GAY!!!1!1!!!

Marshmallow: sure buddy

Apple: marsh :3

Marshmallow: yeah?

Apple: :3

Marshmallow: :3

Apple: :3

Marshmallow: :3

Lightbulb: og waow

4:38 AM

Four: what if i used cobs money to start a reality show

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

6:39 AM

Lightbulb: thags a terrible idea. you shpould do it

Four: thank you for supporting my terrible ideas

Balloon: four makes his return

Four: ☝️

Fan has arrived! Say hello!
Welcome, Testy! We hope you brought pizza!
YinYang has joined! Everyone look busy!
Round of applause for Mic!

Suitcase: i actually jumped
Suitcase: what is going on 😭

Four: can a guy not make friends

Fan: this is the famous server?

Four: welcome to hell

Fan: how promising

Nickel: more new people??
Nickel: is this server not big enough

Lightbulb: hater…
Lightbulb: HIII I NEW PEOPLR
Lightbulb: OH EM GEE DHB TESTYYU
Lightbulb: 🦀

Mic: HI

Testy: LIGHTBULB!!!

Four: what have i started

channel: introductions

Fan: hello! i’m fan. i use he/they pronouns, i’m non-binary and a lesbian.

Testy: Test Tube, she/her, also a non-binary lesbian

Paintbrush: finally more of me

Mic: Uuuhhhhh I'm Mic I use any pronouns and I'm unlabeled
Mic: Also I'm in choir

Fan: oh right
Fan: testy runs the science club and i run the chess club!

Nickel: nerd alert

channel: general

Paintbrush: okay i have to get ready for school now. goodbye

Lightbulb: auugh i donr wanna go to school :+

Nickel: :+

Lightbulb: :+

8:37 AM

Paintbrush: lightbulb came to school wearing a pirate costume

Mic: That's who that was??????????

Lightbulb: pie rate 🦜

Paintbrush: this is so funny

Fan: i should have worn my parrot costume

Paintbrush: your what

Fan: parrot costume

Lightbulb: 🦜🦜🦜🦜🦜

Nickel: why do you have a parrot costume

Fan: why not

Nickel: understandable have a great day

Testy: Average Fan behaviour

Lightbulb: they ger me

Nickel: ger

Lightbulb: ger

Paintbrush: ger

Fan: ger
Fan: 🤓

Four: .
Four: so my homeroom teacher occasionally puts the news on when he's doing something
Four: WHY IS COBS SINGING

Fan: ??????!!!!????!!!!!??!

Lightbulb: tgis is insanr
Lightbulb: do re mi fa so la ti do
Lightbulb: doe 😭😭 a deer 😭😭😭 a female deer 😭😭😭😭 ray a drop of golden suuunnnnn 😭😭😭😭😭

Apple: ME A NAME I CALL MYSELF FAR A LONG LONG WAY TO RUN

Four: jesus

Lightbulb: SEW A NEEDLE PULLING THREEAAAADDD LA A NOTE TO FOLLWO SO TEA A DRIMO WITH JAM AND RBRAD AND THAT BEINGS US BACK TO

Apple: i forgot that movie existed until now

Lightbulb: i didnr… it was a staple of my childhood

Nickel: you had a childhood?

Lightbulb: WGAT DOES THAT MENA

Nickel: idk you act like your parents kept you locked up in a basement

Fan: no, that's four

Nickel: my jaw dropped

Lightbulb: WHAAAAAT

Paintbrush: wait can we go back to cobs singing
Paintbrush: wtf is he even singing about

Four: no idea. something about the progress he's made or whatever. i don't pay attention anymore

Paintbrush: throw tomatoes at him

Four: on it
Four: time to run away from school

Paintbrush: LMAO

10:28 AM

Apple: paintbrush and lightbulb got paired for a school assignment and they just started deviously grinning at each other

Nickel: oh no
Nickel: the world is actually about to end

Apple: WHAT

Marshmallow: im scared
Marshmallow: also im free from my period thank god

Nickel: i was going to say something funny but i couldn't come up with anything

Marshmallow: great job

Nickel: thank you! i try my best!

Fan: i miss my son

Testy: Our* son

Fan: our son 😭😭😭😭

Apple: ????

Fan: OUR SON 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Lightbulb: he gers me 🦀
Lightbulb: baxter 😭😭

Paintbrush: you've been away from him for 3 hours

Lightbulb: BAXTER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Apple: GET BACK TO WORK

Lightbulb: GOD FORBOF

Apple: GO!!!

Lightbulb: OKAU!!!!!!

4:35 PM

Paintbrush: i locked in today and now me and lightbulb have a detention

Apple: ?!?!?;?!!!

Taco: im free from that which the ladies call hell

Apple: ??!???;?!!!??!!!??!!??

Mic: It's me. I'm ladies

Taco: indeed

Nickel: indeed 🤓

Taco: jump off of a cliff ❤️

Marshmallow: hey only i can tell nickel to kill himself

Nickel: ??

Fan: wow! me and testy also have a detention

Lightbulb: HII I SEE YOU GUYS BACK THERE

Fan: HELLOOO

Lightbulb: YAYAYA
Lightbulb: legs make thid aorse

Fan: ok! i have nothing better to do

Testy: I have homework

Fan: sshhh

Testy: Okay!

Nickel: i thought lightbulb said legs make this horse and i was so confused for a second

Lightbulb: legs make this horse

OJ: How do all four of you have detentions…

Nickel: i don't think you want to know

Paintbrush: well me and lightbulb couldn't stop talking to each other (and fan and testy)
Paintbrush: and fan and testy proceeded to try and recreate the Great Fire Incidents of 2023

Nickel: literally what does this mean

Paintbrush: the school almost burnt down last year

Nickel: oh right
Nickel: i blocked that from my memory im not going to lie

Lightbulb: i cang believe nobody ever found out the start of the fi4e

Nickel: i can this school is insane

OJ: He has a point

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

7:13 AM

Paintbrush: me and lightbulb were on call until 4 am playing roblox
Paintbrush: sure hope i don't fall asleep in class

OJ: You guys are going to get another detention

Nickel: too full of detention

YinYang: AAGGHH

Nickel: ?? good morning

YinYang: morning of agony and despair

channel: introductions

YinYang: uhhm hi guys
YinYang: he/him otherwise unlabeled, system.. youll only talk to two of us though
YinYang: sure hope everyone here is normal! 😁

Paintbrush: we are don't worry

Taco: i am pretty sure everybody here was on the internet in 2020 and knows how to treat people

Nickel: rich coming from you

YinYang: 2020 mention..
YinYang: trembles in my boots

channel: general

Lightbulb: goot morn
Lightbulb: jm so tired

Taco: i wonder why that is

Nickel: yeah such a mystery

Lightbulb: 😴

Paintbrush: the bus is killing me to sleep
Paintbrush: ???
Paintbrush: lulling*
Paintbrush: i might be cooked

Nickel: its over

Taco: cooked paintbrush 🧐 does not sound very tasty

Paintbrush: jump

Marshmallow: suicide threat? without me?

Paintbrush: jesus hey marshmallow

Marshmallow: :3

Nickel: where tf is balloon

Balloon: HI

Lightbulb: cooked paintbrusg sounds very tasty actually

Taco: ..somehow i knew you would say that

Nickel: wow

Balloon: wow!

Paintbrush: someone just screamed at the back of the bus wtf

Nickel: my bad it was me

Paintbrush: no it wasn't

Nickel: just because of that im going to scream

Balloon: NICKEL 😭😭

Taco: put your man on a leash for the sake of the rest of us

Balloon: WHAT

Nickel: WHAT

YinYang: NO!! I SUPPORT CHAOS!!!

Fan: peetah… the horse is here….

Lightbulb: jorse 🐎

Fan: jorse

Paintbrush: i just fell asleep 3 times can the bus please get to school so i can be free
Paintbrush: nevermind. we are here

10:27 AM

Paintbrush: fan won't stop making deez nuts jokes at me im actually going to strangle him

Fan: strangle DEEZ NUTS 🤣🤣🤣🫵🫵🫵

Taco: how immature.

Fan: immature deez nuts

Paintbrush: i just actually sighed irl

Fan: LMAOO

Apple: i jusg found four knocked out against a locker??

OJ: He's sick but Cobs forced him to come to school
OJ: I left him with a cold rag and some water

Apple: rip four you wouldve loved reality tv

OJ: God don't get me started
OJ: He had me and Paper up all night to rewatch a season of Survivor

Nickel: of course he likes survivor dawg

Apple: yeah no ones shocked by this one
Apple: guys i miss marsh 💔

Fan: shes a forgot???

Apple: STOP

Paintbrush: who here isn't

Lightbulb: our son would never be onr of those thinsg…

Paintbrush: sure he wouldn't

Lightbulb: 🦀

Fan: your son kisses other men

Lightbulb: NP HE DOESNT!!!!1

OJ: Yes he does I caught him with a man the other day

Lightbulb: NNNOOOOOO
Lightbulb: im disowning himr…

Paintbrush: our poor son

Balloon: guys im so serious
Balloon: yinyang was sleeping in class so our teacher threw a marker at him. tell me why he sat straight up and caught it in his mouth

Apple: my jaw dropped

Fan: is this a persona 5 royal reference

Paintbrush: here we go again

Fan: 😭😭😭😭😭

Apple: what is persona 5 royal

Fan: AAAHHHHHHHH

Paintbrush: good luck apple

Fan: meet me at the east wing door during lunch. i have Notes. to Share.

Apple: IM SCARED BUT OKAY

Fan: rubs my hands together deviously

Lightbulb: likr fly

Fan: fan more like fly

Paintbrush: autism fly

Fan: AUTISM FLY!

OJ: Fan are you going to kill her

Fan: idk depends on the weather

Apple: WHAT 😭😭

Testy: If anyone can get away with murder, it is not Fan

Fan: HEY
Fan: i totally could

Paintbrush: fan you'd get mad if the police got a detail about the crime wrong and launch into a full correction about it

Fan: …

Testy: This is true

Fan: :(

Nickel: dawg
Nickel: i forgot to silence my phone and almost got in trouble

Paintbrush: nice going

Nickel: thanks 🤗

Paintbrush: never use that emoji again

Nickel: 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

Paintbrush: i hope you explode

YinYang: EXPLODE!NN

Paintbrush: how did the marker taste

YinYang: 😋

Paintbrush: great

YinYang: glad we could agree!

Paintbrush: me too

Nickel: the teacher is staring into my soul

Fan: make a deez nut joke at them
Fan: gets me out of trouble every time

Paintbrush: it literally does the opposite

Fan: does DEEZ NUTS

Paintbrush: that one doesn't even make sense

Fan: it makes sense in my mind

Apple: and they call me dumb 😭

Fan: HEY

Nickel: you are dumb

Marshmallow: kys

Apple: MARSH

Marshmallow: APPLE :3

Apple: :3

4:12 PM

OJ: Four spent the entire bus ride home deliriously telling me all about his OCs

Marshmallow: this is honestly kind of real
Marshmallow: me when im sick

Apple: truth

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

9:30 PM

Four: i had a dream that i died and turned into a ghost and stole a nintendo switch from gamestop to play animal crossing

OJ: What 😭

Four: also you and paper were there

OJ: Do you need me to bring over more meds

Four: nah im chjlling
Four: more like. heating
Four: 🥵🥵
Four: ladies call me hot because. im. feverish

Paintbrush: i just sighed

Four: thank you paintbrush

Paintbrush: anytime

Four: i want yogurt
Four: i hate yogurt

OJ: I'm coming over

Four: no 💔

OJ: Too bad
OJ: Paper’s coming too

Nickel: where tf has he even been

OJ: Honestly? I don't know why he's not talking here at all
OJ: I haven't asked

Nickel: awesome very informative thank you

Four: guysys stay away from me or uoull get sick too 💔 it's already bad enough i have to go to school

OJ: A risk worth taking
OJ: Brb, driving

Four: he drives over at any minor inconvenience i think cobs knows him by name now

Nickel: its literally 9 pm

Four: i know 😭😭

Marshmallow: so when are you guys gonna admit you're dating

Four: WHAT

Apple: MARSH 😭

Marshmallow: WHAT.
Marshmallow: ITS OBVIOUS

Paintbrush: it really is

Four: WE'RE NOT DATING

Marshmallow: sure buddy….

7:38 AM

Four: guys i have a fever of 109

Apple: ????!!#!$!?_?
Apple: YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL

Four: it took enough of oj 4s and mepad screaming already for me to stay home
Four: ill be killed if i have to go to the doctor

Apple: DUDE 😭

Four: im just going to lay in bed with ten whole ice packs bare to my skin and hope thag helps

Paintbrush: why even have kids if you're just going to want them dead all the time

Four: idk ask him not me 🥀

4s: we've got this in the bag don't worry 😎

Four: never say this again

4s: we've got this in the bag don't worry 😎

Four: im suicidal

If you receive a message that's concerning or inappropriate, you can [report it].

Four: WHAF

Paintbrush: thank you app

Four: im suicidal
Four: im suicidal
Four: im suicidal
Four: im suicidal
Four: im suicidal
Four: wow okay

Nickel: you're going to get reported dawg

Four: 💔🥀⛓️

4s: WHO IS BLARING BRING ME THE HORIZON ALBUM THATS THE SPIRIT IN COBS ROOM RIGHT NOW

Four: probably 3gs

4s: probably

Nickel: why is he in cobs room wtf

Four: the horrors

Nickel: rip

Marshmallow: gusy i just realized don't mine at night is a parody of tgif by katy perry

Nickel: what did you think it was

Marshmallow: idk i didnt think about it much

Four: LAST FRIDAY NIGHT

4s: No.

Four: im sick be nice to me

Nickel: nah

4s: NO.

Paintbrush: no thanks

Apple: nuh uh

Marshmallow: nope

Four: what the fuck 💔

12:47 PM

YinYang: AAAHHHHHH AAHAHHHHHHHHH AAUHHHHHHHHHHH

Mic: ??

Taco: ???

Paintbrush: ????

Lightbulb: be nice to him hes just a boy
Lightbulb: hims a boys

Paintbrush: is that your attempt

Lightbrush: yuh
Lightbrush: baxter jusg crawled out of my pocket 🦀

Taco: … did you bring your pet crab to school?

Lightbulb: ges a pet carb
Lightbulb: butt yeag

Nickel: lmao butt

Lightbulb: 😕

Paintbrush: you're going to get in trouble 😭

Lightbulb: nuh uh
Lightbulb: nobody sould get me and our son in toruble

Paintbrush: if you need me to bail you out of detention just call

Apple: is this what they call yuri

Marshmallow: 🤔

Fan: yuri….

Lightbulb: hey gurl. i mean. they

Paintbrush: yeah

Taco: i just witnessed my teacher throw an entire lunch tray outside

YinYang: my soulmate

Taco: no thank you

Nickel: that was me sorry

Taco: STOP MAKING THE SAME JOKE REPEATEDLY.

Nickel: you hate humour

Taco: not at all, i just have a better sense of it than you

Balloon: watch it buddy

Taco: what are you going to do about it?

Balloon: idk
Balloon: make you into soup and feed you to oj

Taco: why oj

Balloon: funny

Nickel: don't worry i support you unlike her

Balloon: wow! really!

Fan: yaoi

Balloon: why am i not surprised you unironically call things yaoi/yuri

Fan: wtf

Suitcase: BALLOON GET BACK HERE IM DYING

Balloon: SORRY
Balloon: we're playing regretevator at the lunch table

Nickel: real af
Nickel: let me join

Apple: I HAVE ANOTHER FLOOR STREAK QUEST IM GOING TO CRASH OUT

Paintbrush: me too lmao im going to do it at home

Apple: uhhhghhghhgggg 💔💔

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

5:38 PM

Apple: guuuys i failed ANOTHER english exam im actually so fucked

Paintbrush: at this point its just expected of you

Apple: one of these days i will Understand Words

Fan: do you think somewhere in another universe there's people reading fanfiction of us and being like “he would not fucking say that” whenever the author makes them out of character
Fan: do you think we have fandom wiki pages that authors stew over to try and get a better grasp on how to write us
Fan: do you think people fight over ships between us and other characters in twitter comment sections

Paintbrush: can you calm down

Lightbulb: wait no hear him oit

Paintbrush: no thank you

Nickel: ?? dawg

Fan: i wonder if you saying dawg is considered mischaracterization
Fan: what if this is a fanfic au and we're actually originally from another universe

Paintbrush: are you high

Fan: do you think drugs exist in our original universe

Nickel: ok grandpa let's get you to bed

Fan: do you think people ship you and balloon so much that they have daily fan accounts
Fan: do you think your ship name would be nickloon or ballel

Nickel: ballel is crazy

Paintbrush: i shouldn't have laughed as hard as i did

Fan: do you think people make fix it aus where steve cobs is dead
Fan: or is he dead in the original universe and this is the outlier

Apple: I CLOSED MY PHONE FOR 2 MINUTES

Fan: never do that again

Apple: 😨

Fan: do you guys think the author of this fanfiction is actually secretly really insecure about their writing and whether or not it's severe mischaracterization
Fan: do you think it's a chatfic where its just this server and sometimes dms or is it a full fledged hundred thousand word chapter fic

Paintbrush: genuinely are you okay. what is happening

Suitcase: WHAT DID I COME BaCK TO

Nickel: wtf youre alive

Suitcase: do a flip ❤️

Apple: there's a stranger in my bed 🛏️

Suitcase: THERES A POUNDING IN MY HEAD

Fan: does katy perry even exist in our original universe
Fan: what if it's something really stupid like we're all the objects that our names are

Suitcase: i dont want to be a suitcase

Fan: would i be a fan like 🪭 or like. uh. nvm there's no emoji for it

Nickel: your hair is bright red and orange and yellow bro you'd be a 🪭 for real

Fan: awesome

Apple: would i be a red apple or a green apple

Paintbrush: worse. you'd be a yellow one

Apple: WHAT THE FUCK

Nickel: idk how much i want to be a nickel

Fan: hey as long as you don't have a mysterious triangle in the centre of your design

Nickel: what

Fan: i waste my best material on my worst audience

Paintbrush: is that a sanders sides reference

Lightbulb: SANDER SIDEDS

Fan: sanders sides 😭😭

Paintbrush: roman is very me

Lightbulb: hehj… hey beautiful…..

Paintbrush: hello lightbulb

Lightbulb: :23333

Fan: of course paintbrush relates to roman who's surprised

Pickle: Taco probably relates to Deceit.

Taco: hey.

Lightbulb: I JUSG SCREAMED

Paintbrush: can confirm i heard it

Nickel: ok that's enough for tonight everyone shut up

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

11:48 AM

Fan: my mom bought yogurt covered raisins for me to try and im literally so confused by them
Fan: they taste like nothing
Fan: i spent like ten minutes this lunch slowly chewing on them to try and figure it out

Nickel: so are you diagnosed autistic or

Fan: WHAT

Balloon: nickel you can NOT be talking

Fan: ballel

Nickel: i hope you die a horrible death

Fan: 💔
Fan: im such a victim

Suitcase: are we ignoring last night or

Fan: absolutely yes we are

Suitcase: okay!

Fan: awesome

Apple: shakira 💃 shakira 💃

Suitcase: my hips don't lie

Apple: ey guy i can see your body moving and it's driving me crayz

Fan: me when. uuh
Fan: abyway

Nickel: you when testy

Fan: .
Fan: .

Nickel: yeah you're not slick dawg

Fan: anyway!!!!

Nickel: LMAO

Paintbrush: if we're talking about slickness then you're not a good example either nickel

Nickel: shut up

Paintbrush: no thanks im good

Nickel: im going to kill myself in front of you

Paintbrush: hell yeah a free movie

Apple: THATS CRAZY

Suitcase: 😭😭😭😭

Nickel: dawg
Nickel: lets duke this out right here right now

Paintbrush: another detention never stopped me
Paintbrush: put your phone down and face me freak

Apple: my jaw is dropped

Suitcase: we should place bets 🤔
Suitcase: i want to see nickel get beat up so my bets are on paintbrush

Apple: i agree tbh

Fan: im also betting on paintbrush

Apple: so called free thinkers when paintbrush

Fan: hey say that to lightbulb not me

Apple: true 🧐

Fan: thank you for talking exactly like her

Apple: any time!

OJ: I have a question

Fan: whats up

OJ: Do you know that one rich guy who dresses really feminine and has his hair bleached to a bluish white?

Fan: silver? yeah

OJ: I talked to him a bit earlier
OJ: And he swears up and down on his life that he's a straight man

Fan: im sorry but if you're a man and you wear heels and frilly corsets and eyeliner and long painted nails… you're not a straight man. you're at least a tiny bit fruity

OJ: Exactly

Fan: gay culture 101
Fan: then again it is 2025 🤔

Suitcase: paintbrush just clocked nickel in the jaw with their foot
Suitcase: i didnt know they could fight like that

Fan: gey beautifujk
Fan: 🤤🤤

Suitcase: wow!

1:37 PM

Four: i need you guys to know
Four: mepad is listening to delicate by taylor swift and staring across the classroom at taco

Fan: what if i start crying

Nickel: this is actually terrible

Four: im literally watching his spotify on his chromebook

Suitcase: WGAAAT

Nickel: im going to genuinely kill myself because of this information

Four: WOW so the app will put out a warning for me but not you

Nickel: i guess im just better than you

Four: 😕

3:25 PM

Apple: did we ever figure out who won the fight

Nickel: no one
Nickel: but we both have detention

Paintbrush: he's only saying no one because he lost

Nickel: nah

Apple: 🤔

Paper: hey guys what did i miss

Apple: PAPER???

Nickel: i just jumped

Paintbrush: wtf he's back

Paper: what if i leave forever 💔

Apple: HI PAPER

Paper: HI
Paper: wow! there's so many new people

Nickel: yeah you missed a lot
Nickel: you were gone for like. a week

Paper: REALLY??/
Paper: i did NOT mean to be gone for that long oops

Paintbrush: if we didn't see you every so often in the halls we would've thought you died

Paper: i did die actually im a zombie rn

Paintbrush: oh no

Nickel: whatever will we do

Paper: wow 💔
Paper: you all hate me

Paintbrush: well 🤔

Nickel: speak for yourself i have beef with paper now

Paper: oh im sure

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

4:29 PM

Fan: guys
Fan: me testy paintbrush and lightbulb are hanging out at a skating rink and then having a sleepover
Fan: we are so back

Nickel: the four horsemen strike again

Fan: im crying

Lightbulb: :2

Nickel: me balloon baseball and suitcase are all hanging out too

Suitcase: we should go to the skating rink and foil their plans

Nickel: true….

Lightbulb: youd probablu start knocing over 5 year olds on the rink

Nickel: how low do you think of me

Lightbulb: apple bottom jeans boots with the fur low

Nickel: great
Nickel: thanks very informative

Lightbulb: anytime :3

Nickel: watch out buddy we're on our way now

Balloon: baseball is driving
Balloon: will we die: yes or no

Nickel: i hope you die

Balloon: HEY!!

Suitcase: lets hold hands and hope that nickel dies together

Balloon: okay! yay!

Paintbrush: so glad the four horsemen get along better than this

Fan: do nickel and co have a group name or are they just… nbbs
Fan: bsbn

Lightbulb: bsbsbsbbsbsbsbsbsbsbssb

Fan: thank you lighty

Lightbulb: >:)

Nickel: we do not have a group name

Fan: come up with one then

Nickel: what if i don't

Paintbrush: then you're boring

Paper: i need you guys to know
Paper: me oj and four have been playing minecraft for literally six straight hours

Lightbulb: minecraft 🧐
Lightbulb: they sgould add carbs
Lightbulb: 🦀

Paper: true

Paintbrush: that is a long time wtf

Nickel: we should make an iief minecraft server

OJ: I can pay for it

Nickel: great
Nickel: i didn't want to run on aternos

Paintbrush: im down

Paper: were so back

Fan: we'll have to join later tonight :]

Paintbrush: yeah

OJ: Alright!
OJ: I'll create it now

Four: time to play for another six hours

Apple: IIEF MINECRAFT SERVER???
Apple: don't mind if i do! 😋

Marshmallow: oh boy! can't wait to waste hours of my life on this game again!

Apple: MARSH :3

Marshmallow: WE'RE LITERALLY LAYING IN THE SAME BED

Apple: MARSHHH ::3333

Marshmallow: APPLE :333

Fan: yuri

Apple: yuri WINS
Apple: we made eafh other more bracelets

Fan: awww :]

Marshmallow: i had to keep apple from eating a bead

Apple: LMAO YEAH

Nickel: did you guys know
Nickel: when balloon was a baby he had to go to the hospital because he inhaled a bead and they couldn't figure out how to get it out

Balloon: STOP
Balloon: this is true i visited like 4 different hospitals
Balloon: i still have nightmares about sneezing out a bloody bead

Fan: im crying what

Marshmallow: this is so crazy genuinely

Apple: beads 😋

Balloon: hey. you can't joke like that. that's insensitive

Nickel: shut the fuck up

Balloon: kill yourself 🙄🙄

Taco: i heard the word minecraft?

Nickel: yeah we're making a server

Taco: i cannot wait

Apple: marsh and i are going to live together

Marshmallow: we should invite bow

Apple: OMG YOUR SO RIGHT

Fan: you're*

Apple: i cant believe no one ever added her here

Four: no please

Welcome, Bow!

Bow: HAALLLOOOOOOO

Apple: BOW!!!

Bow: APPLE!!!!! OH EM GEE

Taco: i will live with mepad

Four: he doesnt play minecraft

Taco: oh, she will

Four: 😕

Apple: BOW!!!

Bow: APPLE!!!

Apple: BOW!!!

Bow: APPLE!!!

Marshmallow: LADIES LADIES
Marshmallow: CAOM DOWN

Bow: :33

Apple: ::33

channel: introductions

Bow: HALLO im bow i use she/her im lesbian 🪑

Taco: is this 2021

Bow: 🪑

channel: general

Fan: okay we're at the rink bye chat

Apple: HAVE FUN

Nickel: fuck they got there first

Balloon: we're only 5 mins away it's fine

Nickel: nah its the end of the world

Balloon: okay! yay!

OJ: Okay, here's the server IP
OJ: iiefserver.mc
OJ: @everyone
OJ: Feel free to get on whenever!

Apple: i jusg lunged for my laptop

Marshmallow: this is true i watched her

Bow: minecraf 🪑

Paper: i love how lightbulb has her crab emoji and bow has her chair emoji. i think we should all have signature emojis

Taco: i strongly disagree this is terrible

Paper: im making my signature emoji 🌮 out of spite

Taco: NO.

Four: can mine be 👅

Paper: .
Paper: shore.

Four: hooray 👅

Paper: i already have regrets 😕

Four: the skibidi toilets are coming to get you, paper.

Paper: STOP WITG THE FUCKING SKIVIDI TOIELTS

Four: never 👅

Paper: i hate it here im leaving

Apple: my signature emoji will be 🧠

Four: this is wrong because you don't have one

Apple: hey 🧠
Apple: how dare you 🧠

Taco: i am not participating in this foolishness

Paper: suit yourself 🌮

Bow: peak 🪑

Four: for once i have to agree 👅

Apple: join us taco 🧠

Taco: this is a terrible bit.

Apple: JOIN US 🧠

Four: yeah tafo join us 👅

Bow: YA 🪑

Paper: listen to the peer pressure taco 🌮

Taco: …
Taco: i would never.
Taco: 🥩

Paper: YES 🌮

Bow: LETS GOOOOO 🪑

Taco: sighs 🥩

Apple: we did it guys 🧠

Chapter Text

3:16 AM

Nickel: i just bolted awake at 3 am dawg im not tired at all

Suitcase: real
Suitcase: i can't sleep 😭😭

Nickel: great we're cooked

Knife: Sup

Nickel: sup

Suitcase: I CAN HEAR YOUR MUSIC

Knife: TOO BAD

Suitcase: FUCK YOU

Knife: FUCK YOU TOO

Nickel: oh wow

Suitcase: ughdhdgghhhh i have an art project i have to work on but i don't. want to.

Nickel: which teacher do you have

Suitcase: camera 2…. 😕

Nickel: wow. she fucking sucks

Suitcase: I KNWO

Knife: You really should do your work

Suitcase: guy who never does his work

Knife: Kys

Nickel: is this normal for siblings

Knife: Pretty much yeah

Suitcase: of course youre an only child nickel

Nickel: wtf

Suitcase: knife why are you listening to something just like this by the chainsmokers featuring coldplay

Knife: You just don't understand peak

Suitcase: you're right i really dont

Nickel: don't worry knife ive got your back

Knife: You're going to stab it

Nickel: yeah 😋

Suitcase: never use that emoji again

Nickel: 😋😋😋😋😋😋

Suitcase: ihy

Nickel: ihmt

Knife: Go to therapy

Nickel: ok you cannot be talking dawg

Knife: Hey.

Suitcase: literally neither of you can be talking

Nickel: ok neither can you

Suitcase: true 🥀

Nickel: eeexactly

Knife: Kys

Nickel: nah im good

Suitcase: happier by marshmello and bastille

Nickel: dawg knife are you ok

Knife: Yeah I'm great

Suitcase: 🤨

Nickel: is this another yearning to bad music situation
Nickel: wow you're just like mepad

MEPAD: ????

Nickel: rip

Suitcase: im crying

Knife: I just imagined him bolting awake to send that
Knife: “.... Someone said my name…….”

Nickel: like bloody mary

Suitcase has changed MEPAD’s name: bloody mary

bloody mary: Thank you, Suitcase.

Suitcase: any time!

Nickel: dawg my dad left the living room windows open and it rained everywhere
Nickel: rip the couch

Suitcase: ??
Suitcase: did he not know it was going to rain hard tonight

Nickel: idk but my moms gonna beat his ass

Knife: Rip Nickel’s dad that I didn't think he had

Nickel: excuse me

Suitcase: LMAOOO

Nickel: ok i got water im going to try and go back to sleep

Suitcase: goodnighr sleep terribly

Nickel: ok!

Suitcase: im going to go work on my project

Knife: I hope my music distracts you and you fail your class

Suitcase: FUCK YOU

5:18 AM

Nickel: im killing myself i cannot fucking sleep
Nickel: i did get the mc server a stack and a half of diamonds though

Paintbrush: what the fuck

Nickel: i locked in

Paintbrush: we should have paper and knife duke it out for the diamonds

Four: why paper and knife

Paintbrush: i can't decide which of them i hate more today

Nickel: real

Four: WHAT 😭😭

Paper: WHAT DID I DO

Fan: good morning
Fan: did you guys know i run a tumblr blog for our school

Nickel: are you the confession blog guy

Fan: yeah

Nickel: nice

Paintbrush: wow one of the four horsemen is famous

Fan: two actually. testy is attending an award ceremony for her science grades today
Fan: top of the class :]

Four: they grow up so fast…

Paintbrush: wtf that's sick remind me to congratulate her later

Testy: I was actually going to request that you, Lightbulb and Fan attend!!

Fan: she asked me last night i already agreed :]

Paintbrush: absolutely yes i will. what time is it

Testy: 6pm!!!

Paintbrush: we'll be there

Fan: lighty is still snoring 😭

Paintbrush: be nice to her she's just a girl

Fan: gusy oh my god
Fan: i need you to see this

Nickel: what's up

Fan: i checked the blog right.
Fan: i can't submit this post because its a name drop but
Fan: someone found silver and candle making out in the back of one of the bathrooms. i cant make this up

Nickel: ????????

Paintbrush: my jaw dropped

Fan: i Know.
Fan: silver the composed uptight rich guy making out with someone in a bathroom

Nickel: this is so insane

Mic: I submitted that one

Fan: LMFAO
Fan: next time don't use names
Fan: we keep this drama ethical

Mic: Well now I'm going to

Fan: nuh uh

Paintbrush: wtf mic is alive

Mic: Yeah
Mic: I usually lurk

Taco: me as well

Paintbrush: how many of us are awake at 5 am

Four: 🙋‍♂️

Mic: 🙋‍♂️

Testy: 🙋‍♂️

Fan: 🙋‍♂️

Paper: 🙋‍♂️

Taco: 🙋‍♂️

Nickel: 🙋‍♂️

Paintbrush: awesome

Knife: It's a good day for Knife fans. I'm awake again

Nickel: nobodys your fan

Fan: hi

Knife: Shut up I have plenty of fans

Pickle: Hello Knife

Knife: Hello Pickle

Nickel: wow
Nickel: i just almost spelled my own name as nickle

Paintbrush: good job
Paintbrush: me constantly typing my name as paintbrusg

10:48 AM

Apple: GOOOOD MORNING!
Apple: 🧠

Lightbulb: 🦀
Lightbulb: carb

Four: lightbulb how do you feel that carbs are a nutritional necessity

Lightbulb: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT

Nickel: did this giy just say nutritional necessity
Nickel: nerd alert

Lightbulb: carbs :((((

Apple: you made her sad four 💔

Lightbulb: caarrrbbbsss 😭😭😭😭😭

Four: 😋

Lightbulb: NOooooOOOOOo

Fan: im crying
Fan: shes actually giggling while typing this

Lightbulb: dont exposr me 💔💔

Fan: my bad
Fan: shes in tears sobbing so distraught

Lightbulb: :4

5:44 PM

Fan: i can't believe we've all been on minecraft all day
Fan: and now i have to hurry up and get ready for testys ceremony

Testy: I'm so nervous,,,, so many people are attending

Fan: you've got this i believe in you!!!

Testy: I hope so 😕

Fan: trust

Testy: Okay!

Nickel: i will get more diamonds while you're gone
Nickel: and leave them in your house

Testy: Tysm

Nickel: sure whatever now go don't be late

Testy: Okay!!

Fan: bye chat

Chapter Text

7:54 AM

Paintbrush: my homeroom class is so loud today
Paintbrush: i just want to take a nap wtf

Nickel: who is even awake enough at this hour to be loud

Paintbrush: that's what im saying

Fan: immso tiref

Paintbrush: me too

Fan: ughhhh

Suitcase: i just got a text and an email from at&t that ige used 75% of my data so far
Suitcase: I DO NOT CARE!!!! LET ME SCROLL TWITTER ON THE BUS

Fan: this is so real
Fan: me with tumblr

Nickel: will i get another detention if i take a nap let's find out

Paintbrush: ill be joining you if you do

Nickel: great

Suitcase: goodnighr sleep terribly

Apple: HAS ANYONE SEEN MARSH

Suitcase: ITS NOT EVEN 8 YET JUST TEXT HER

Apple: SHES NOT ANSWERING

Suitcase: WHAT!!!

Apple: SHES ALSO NOT IN CLASS

Suitcase: maybe she's sick??

Fan: she has a dentist appointment today

Apple: WHAT
Apple: how do you know this and i dont

Fan: oh yknow

Suitcase: ?????????
Suitcase: you actually terrify me

Knife: What doesn't terrify you

Suitcase: HEY

Apple: WAIT
Apple: KNIFE YOU GOT A HAIRCUT

Knife: Yeah
Knife: I'm really leaning into my jerk stereotype. Buzzcut 😎

Suitcase: never say this again
Suitcase: ill sic trophy on you

Knife: 😥
Knife: I'm never saying anything again actually

Apple: who is trophy

Fan: some guy who blackmailed knife in the seventh grade

Knife: What
Knife: How do you know that

Apple: fan just knows everything apparently

Fan: perks of

Knife: Of?

Fan: candle incoming

Take your seat at the table, Candle!

Candle: Hello?
Candle: Yin invited me.

Knife: Sup

Mic: Every day this server grows more and more

Fan: 🧐

YinYang: hi sorry ive been meaning to talk here more but im nervous and yang is. well. yang. so shes here as emotional support

Bow: HELLOOOO 🪑

Apple: THATS OKAY YINYANG
Apple: HI NEW GIRL :D
Apple: AND HI BOW 🧠

Bow: HIHIHIHIHIHIIHI

Apple: i miss marshy 💔💔💔

Fan: she's driving back from her appointment now

Apple: ?!_?’?!!?!?!

Marshmallow: ??????
Marshmallow: HOW DID YOU KNOW THIS

Apple: MARSH

Marshmallow: APPLE
Marshmallow: im so sorry i forgot to tell you 💔 i didnt realize until we were out the door and my phone was dead

Apple: sniffles…
Apple: just say you hate me :(

Marshmallow: NOOo

Four: im getting a migraine

Fan: four going through the seven torments as per usual

Four: 😢

Fan: rip yiu will be missed
Fan: anyway
Fan: marshmallow how were your crowns

Marshmallow: WHAT!

Fan: answer the question OR ELSE!!

Marshmallow: uhhhh
Marshmallow: im a little sad that i cant shove saltine crackers down my throat for the next few weeks until my permanent crowns come in but that's about it
Marshmallow: still nothing i hate worse than those numbing shots though

Four: real

Marshmallow: i do Not handle pain well 🔥

Fan: me neither honestly
Fan: the last time i had dental work done i started crying because of the pain and turning pale and it freaked the dentist out so bad she had to leave the room

Marshmallow: WHAT 😭😭

9:57 AM

Nickel: i didnt get a detention but i did manage to sleep through first period

Paintbrush: did nobody wake you up

Nickel: nope LMAO

Suitcase: rip nickel you wouldve loved first period

Nickel: this is not true i hate my first period today

Suitcase: nvm

Paintbrush: LMAO
Paintbrush: great thanks nickel

Nickel: anytime

Paintbrush: i keep yawning every three seconds
Paintbrush: i expect my teacher to yell at me for it

Nickel: how dare you yawn

Paintbrush: i know right

Four: guys
Four: taco came up to me and mepad sitting together and showed him a baby jesus clay model thing that she stole from hobby lobby
Four: and they both started giggling together over it. ive never heard mepad laugh so much in thirty seconds

Nickel: wtf gross i hate people in relationships

Four: balloon

Nickel: stop with the balloon and nickel dating allegations this will never happen

Fan: ballel

Nickel: no

Fan: ballel

Nickel: stop it

Paintbrush: you two already act like a couple

Nickel: no we don't wtf
Nickel: god forbid a guy have friends

Suitcase: we're not talking about friendship here
Suitcase: you're friends with baseball. this is different

Nickel: ok why am i in an intervention

Fan: ballel

Nickel: i hope you explode

Fan: me too

Paintbrush: oh wow

Nickel: oh wow
Nickel: im reporting you to the guidance counselor

Fan: NO PLEASE

Nickel: LMFAO

Fan: me and her have beef

Nickel: well now im curious

Fan: i went to her office and she kept calling me a woman so i corrected her and she just stared at me and didnt change anything 😭
Fan: “ma’am” i am a teenager and also nonbinary

Nickel: oh ew

Paintbrush: oh my god she does the same thing to me except she calls me a man instead

Knife: Its probably because her husband doesn't love her

Paintbrush: my jaw dropped

Fan: im crying

Nickel: me when im lowkey transphobic because i need a divorce

Knife: Flawless logic

Nickel: sure buddy

Chapter Text

12:35 PM

Nickel: we might be getting tornadoes today

Fan: are you serious
Fan: i have to call my mom to make sure she has an eye on the cat then

Nickel: if we end up in the locker rooms im going to throw a football at your head

Fan: WHAT

Paintbrush: nickel that's assault

Nickel: not if he consents

Fan: WHY WOULD I CONSENT TO THAT

Nickel: why wouldn't you

Fan: im shaking

Lightbulb: theyr already moving my class to the locker rooms 😥😥😥🦀

Fan: my mom isn't answering my calls wtf

Paintbrush: spam her
Paintbrush: they're moving my class too

Lightbulb: PAINTY!!! REUNITE

Fan: yuri win
Fan: i miss testy

Nickel: gross

Suitcase: to the lockers we go!
Suitcase: i brought a book to school today we're so back

Nickel: wtf lucky i didn't bring shit

Suitcase: sounds like a you problem

Paintbrush: i support you bullying nickel

Suitcase: my hatred for nickel is ten times stronger than my social anxiety

Nickel: hey.

Balloon: GUYS
Balloon: while we were being moved i found out
Balloon: theres a kid in our class named nick le

Nickel: what
Nickel: this is so fucking funny

Balloon: nick le 😭😭

Paintbrush: i can't believe our school is so big that we have a nick le and a nickel in the same year

Fan: at least its funny

Paintbrush: true

Fan: anyway my moms in the basement with the cat all is well

Paintbrush: awesome

2:44 PM

Nickel: im mad as fuck i can't believe they made us turn our phones off
Nickel: i was so bored

Fan: at least there wasn't a tornado

Nickel: true

5:32 PM

Four: guys.
Four: i just walked into the kitchen
Four: cobs is drinking out of a #1 dad mug
Four: WHO BOUGHT HIM THIS

Nickel: ???????
Nickel: dawg thats insane

Four: mepad and 4s and i are just staring at him

Fan: im crying what

Knife: I'd break that shit with my bare hands

Four: which is why yiure not allowed at my house anymore

Knife: Hey.

Paper: i would also break it

Four: i support this

Knife: Wow. Nice favoritism

Nickel: more like gaytism

Knife: What

Nickel: because he's gay

Knife: …

Suitcase: …

Fan: …

Four: …

Paper: …

Nickel: ok damn guess ill kill myself

Lightbulb: guuuuuyss

Nickel: what did you do this time

Lightbulb: 💔
Lightbulb: i wad struggling to work on my assignmenr so i made a little picture of etho in the corner sayign to lock in
Lightbulb: ang i forgot to delete it before submitting my work………..

Nickel: great job

Four: average lightbulb

Lightbulb: hey :(
Lightbulb: irm so getting points taken off2for this 💔💔

Paper: at least you sidnt accidentally submit a paper with your friends dick drawings on it

Four: oops

Lightbulb: WHAR

Four: it was funny

Paper: IT WAS HYPER-REALISTIC

Nickel: what the fuck

Paper: I GOT IN SO MUCH TROUBLE

Four: IT WAS FUNNY

Paper: NO

Nickel: is this what me and balloon look like to outsiders

Lightbulb: yeag

Nickel: great

10:46 PM

Nickel: i got really bored in my sims save so i used cheats to have my sims mom kill herself while she was away on vacation

Suitcase: what is wrong with you

Nickel: idk

Suitcase: 😥

Chapter Text

[DMs: Testy, Golfball]

5:36 AM

Testy: Good morning!!
Testy: Do you have the presentation prepared?

Golfball: yes. i finished it last night.

Testy: Great!
Testy: I'll let you do the speaking since you're better at it haha

Golfball: okay, that's fine with me.
Golfball: you're better off running things in the background.

Testy: Can do

1:23 PM

Testy: The link, as promised!
Testy: https://discord.gg/fej99Yhw

Golfball: i’ll join when i am home.

Testy: Okay!

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

3:44 PM

Nickel: dawg i just fucking tripped down the stairs and landed upside down on my backpack

Paintbrush: why'd you do that. idiot

Nickel: i didn't mean to wtf

Marshmallow: i saw that LMAO

Nickel: im killing myself in front of all of you

Paintbrush: hooray

Nickel: i hope my chromebook didn't break that would fucking suck

Paintbrush: i hope it did

Nickel: you're paying for it then

Paintbrush: no im not

Marshmallow: my bus driver just yelled at me for typing on the bus 😥

Nickel: rip marshmallow you would've loved
Nickel: uh
Nickel: what's something funny

Knife: S'mores

Marshmallow: KYS

Nickel: rip marshmallow you would've loved s'mores

Marshmallow: KYS KYS.KYS

Golfball: 🤔

Marshmallow: WHAT

Nickel: wtf who are you

Paintbrush: ???

Golfball: oh, you know!

Nickel: HOLY ROLY POLY

Marshmallow: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

Knife: Has Nickel ever typed in caps like that before

Nickel: dawg that wasn't me

Marshmallow: ???

TennisBall: hi guys!!

Nickel: what is going on

OJ: ?
OJ: Since when were there new people here?

Nickel: that's what im saying

Paintbrush: and how did they join without join alerts

X: GOOOOOOD MORNING ‼️‼️

OJ: What

Lightbulb: WHAR IS GOIMG ON….

Nickel: AAAHHHHHHHHHH

Lightbulb: NICKL??/

Nickel: again. not me dawg

Lightbulb: WHATJEJJFK

Nickel: HELL
Nickel: the finger is approaching. RUN RUN RUN

Nickel: dawg.

Lightbulb: RYN RUN UN

4: WHO WANTS TO DO A CHALLENGE

Lightbulb: WHAR

X: A CHALLENGE

Paintbrush: im actually so lost right now

Apple: I WANT A CHALLENGE

Lightbulb: enrichment…. 🦀

Apple: yed 🧠

4: find x+y, if: 5x+8y=67 and 2x-y=31

X: 2+2=🐟

4: grrrrr

X: 😥

Paintbrush: okay yeah im not doing this

4: GRRRR

Paintbrush: can we sic nickel on you

Nickel: HUUUUUUUHHHHH

Paintbrush: wrong nickel

Marshmallow: youre telling me we have a nick le and two nickels in our school

Paintbrush: i know right. how common is that name

Nickel: too common apparently
Nickel: (- the real one)

OJ: It's 14

4: DING DING DING

X: WOAW;;

OJ: What are we doing these for

4: a million doolla

X: TRUE :d

Lightbulb: omga

Paintbrush: do you even have that much

4: i would never lie 😁

X: (trust gim guys)

Paintbrush: i don't really know if i do but alright i guess

Marshmallow: so cynical paintbrush smh
Marshmallow: ill take a million dollars

Paintbrush: in this economy it's all going to groceries

Marshmallow: not if you shop at walmart
Marshmallow: walmart has everything super cheap
Marshmallow: totally

4: QUIET
4: NEXT QUESTION
4: given: a=b+2c, b=3c. what is the average of numbers a, b and c?

Apple: UH.

Golfball: 3c

X: YUUUUPPPPPP

4: LET ME CONFIRM OR DENY

X: 😥
X: OKAYYY

4: golfbal was right

Golfball: it would be more efficient to do this via selecting teams and slowly narrowing things down onto one person

4: no. moving on!

Golfball: i tried.

TennisBall: you tried!

Nickel: dawg this is worse than four
Nickel: ok wait how are we meant to tell the difference

Paintbrush: i guess 4 for the new one and four for our friend

Nickel: good enough

4: rrrrrrrrrr

Nickel: what

2: this is pretty standard behaviour

Gaty: it really shouldn't be. these are strangers
Gaty: why did we even join this server??

OJ: That's what I want to know

X: NEEDXT QUESTION!!

4: find x+y, if: 2x+3y=8 and 3x+5y=13

X: thats my name!!

4: yes it is

Nickel: jesus fucking christ

OJ: Its 3

Golfball: FUCK.

Paintbrush: how long is this supposed to go on for

X: 🧐

4: 😋

Paintbrush: awesome

Nickel: so informative

Lightbulb: wellllll im going paint fans nails becauser i canf do math
Lightbulb: bye guyd :2

Nickel: rip

4: grrrrr

2: i’m turning my phone off for the night also

4: GOOD RIDDANCE

2: i think that's the first coherent sentence you've ever said to me
2: goodnight good luck with 4

OJ: It seems like we'll need it

Paper: what is going on i just logged on 😭

X: BATTLE FOR ONE MILLION DOLLARS

Paper: WHO ARE YOU

OJ: Just roll with it

Paper: ?!&?$!&?$???????!!!

4: NEXT QUESTION
4: function g is defined by g(x) = 3(x + 8). what is the value of g(12)?

Golfball: 20

OJ: 60

4: OJ IS RIGHT
4: NEXT

X: CAN I ASK ONE
X: PLEASE
X: PLEASE
X: PLEASE
X: PLEASE
X: PLEASE

4: …

X: PLEASE

4: no

X: PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

4: fine

X: YAYAYAYAY
X: WHAT US THE LONGEST SINGLE SYLLABLE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!!!

Golfball: oh come on that's not fair
Golfball: you can't switch it up

Paper: strengths

X: TRYE

Nickel: dawg did you just look up trivia questions that's like the first thing on a reddit page

X: nooooo

4: team ii is losing points for that one

OJ: What

Golfball: you said there weren't going to be any teams.

Nickel: what the fuck dawg im not even participating

4: 😈

X: which president had a pet alligator that he kept in the house bath tub?

TennisBall: john quincy adams

4: MORE points for team bfb

Gaty: why are we team bfb. what does this mean.

4: nothing burger

Gaty: ??

X: YOU HEARD HIM!!!

OJ: So wait
OJ: If this is a point system and we're separated by teams, who gets the money??

X: WHAT is the real name of the # symbol

Paper: ?????

Marshmallow: I KNOW THIS
Marshmallow: UH UH UH

Apple: octothorpe

Nickel: wtf how did you know this

Apple: marsh taught me :3

Marshmallow: we are so back

4: WE HAVE A WINNER!

X: TEAM II TAKES THE MILLION DOLLA PRIZR

Four has kicked 7 members from the server.

Marshmallow: COME ON WE WERE JUST ANOUT TO GET RICH

Four: what the FUCK
Four: HAPPENED
Four: WHILE I WAS GONE.

Nickel: finally dawg holy shit

Apple: our money 💔💔💔

Testy: Oh no…
Testy: I'm so sorry. I gave my partner in a project the link because I thought she might enjoy talking to new people. I don't know how this happened??

Four: and what did we learn

Nickel: internet safety or whatever

Chapter Text

1:37 AM

Lightbulb: GOOOD MORNING!1

Four: why are you awake at one in the morning

Lightbulb: :2
Lightbulb: doimg all of my hw all at once becaus i avoided it this week

Four: wow
Four: so am i

Lightbulb: waow

Nickel: literally nobody is shocked by this

Apple: EVERY SINGLE DAY OF THE WEEK I LIKE TO SING A SONG

Lightbulb: MOMDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAU THRUSDAY FRIDAY SATURDYS SUNDAY

Nickel: great thanks guys

Lightbulb: 🦀

Apple: 🧠

Four: 👅

Nickel: stop with the tongue i hate you

Four: 👅👅👅👅

Nickel: oh my god
Nickel: of course i got stuck with the stupidest people in this server

Four: i hope you explode

Nickel: get in line buddy

Lightbulb: ger in line buddy ol pal 🤠 🐎

YinYang: RAAHHH 🦖

Four: thank you yang very cool

YinYang: TERRIBLE MORNING

Lightbulb: :(

Nickel: im so mad boyinaband is a terrible person some of the songs he worked on are fire as fuck

Four: all in favour of death say aye

YinYang: AYE

Lightbulb: AYR

Apple: AYE

Four: cause nothing bad ever happens in this town 🎶🎶

OJ: I need you all to know before I go back to sleep
OJ: Me and Silver are discord friends and he's been listening to BRAINWASHED by Waterparks on loop all night

Nickel: jesus christ

Four: down bad

Lightbulb: me when im down bad

OJ: Okay goodnight

Four: sleep well

OJ: Thank you!

Apple: WHO
Apple: WHO CHANGED THE NAMES OF ALL THE PETS ON THE MINECRAFT SERVER
Apple: JOG JAT JORSE JARROT ??????
Apple: JOW???? JHEEP????????
Apple: WHAT.

Lightbulb: :4

Apple: WHY.

Lightbulb: :4333442

Nickel: average lightbulb

Lightbulb: IR WAS ME AND FAN
Lightbulb: my partner in crume

Apple: THE SIGNS GOT CHANGED TOO
Apple: JIBERALS JNI JRUMP 2025?????

Lightbulb has changed Apple’s name: Japple

Japple: STOP

Four: wow you and mepad are the only ones with name changes

Japple: sniffles

Four: mepad just bolted awake is she actually bloody mary what

bloody mary: Hello.

Four: go back to bed

bloody mary: Goodnight.

Nickel: wow

3:12 AM

Marshmallow: guys theres a tornado warning get in your basements!!!

Testy: I'm outside studying it right now
Testy: I'll send any footage that I can later!

Marshmallow: WHAR

Japple: IM ALSO OUTSIDE

Marshmallow: GO INSIDE????

Japple: NO
Japple: I WANT TO WATCH

Marshmallow: 😥

Japple changed their nickname: Apple

Apple: that's better

Marshmallow: im going to the basement now

Apple: wheres the fun in that

Marshmallow: ID LIKE TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY THANK YOU

Apple: IM CRYING

6:57 AM

Paintbrush: wtf we don't have school today because the tornado tore through it

Apple: WE'RE FREE

Nickel: dawg i do not want to go online again im not celebrating that shit

Paintbrush: technically its only the classrooms that were destroyed that we'll have to do online
Paintbrush: tomorrow the building is opening again but they're just closing off the damaged areas for construction

Nickel: great

Apple: aw man

Testy: Who wants the footage!!

Fan: ME

Testy: https://youtu.be/xm3YgoEiEDc?si=xDsKITXrbWparlrz

Fan: im watching right now

Nickel: dawg since when did you have a drone

Testy: 😁

Nickel: great thanks

Taco: are you serious
Taco: i had plans with mepad today

Nickel: oh wow

Taco: whatever. at least i get a break

Nickel: real lowkey

Chapter Text

[DMs: MePad, Four]

3:27 AM

Four: are you awake?

MePad: I am, yes. Is something the matter?

Four: hes yelling at 3gs again

MePad: I will handle it. Go back to sleep.

Four: thank you

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

6:46 AM

Fan: she rolled her eyes and then she said i know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit!!!!

Paintbrush: are you yearning for testy again

Fan: NO.

[GC]

Fan has added Paintbrush, Lightbulb, Apple, Marshmallow, and Taco

Fan has renamed the Group Chat: maybe i am yearning

6:48 AM

Fan: help me

Paintbrush: literally just ask her out she'll say yes

Taco: why am i here?

Fan: because helping you with your yearning is next on my list

Taco: ???

Taco has left the group

Fan: aw i was actually hoping she had advice

Marshmallow: WHY ARE ME AND APPLE HERE

Fan: successful yuri

Apple: JUST ASK HER OUT

Fan: ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE

Apple: WHY NOT

Fan: idkk what if she says no and she hates me forever and nothing is the same again and it tears apart the group which in turn tears apart the server and then everyone's social lives are ruined forever because of me

Paintbrush: this literally will not happen

Fan: BUT IT MIGHT

Paintbrush: it won't

Fan: what if it does

Paintbrush: then may zeus strike me down tonight

Lightbulb: fan
Lightbulb: listeb

Fan: 👂

Lightbulb: she wont reject uou

Fan: HOW DO YOU KNOW

Lightbulb: she hasa huge thing for you. turst me i know

Fan: hahdjsnfdndmk dnfnsjfjskfjskgmsm

Fan has added Bot

Fan: what do you think

Bot: I think you need to shoot your shot

Fan: AUGH
Fan: how do i do that though
Fan: like
Fan: do i just go to her and ask her out or do i idk make it into something bigger like what if she's insulted because after everything all i did was ask her

Paintbrush: overthinking final boss

Bot: She would like anything you do

Fan: but what if she doesn't

Apple: DUDE

Marshmallow: listen to me
Marshmallow: listen
Marshmallow: i dont know either of you very well but its so obvious that you have a thing for each other

Fan: shfndfnms
Fan: even then
Fan: so much could go wrong

Lightbulb: anf if it does then you at least tried
Lightbulb: would you rathr spend the rest of your life regretting not doing anything?

Fan: ughh
Fan: you have a point

Lightbulb: i know :4

Fan: ughdhdngm
Fan: okay
Fan: ill do it today
Fan: we're going to get dinner together. ill do it then

Paintbrush: lock in

Bot: Wait

Fan: ?

Bot: Do it beforehand
Bot: In the case that things go wrong
Bot: That way you're not sitting over food awkwardly

Fan: true
Fan: okay i got this im locked in

Paintbrush: my window will be unlocked just in case

Fan: thank you 💔

5:33 PM

Fan: its time
Fan: wish me luck

Lightbulb: GOOF LICK :4

Paintbrush: lock the fuck in

Marshmallow: YOU GOT THIS

Fan: aahahfhms im so nervous mu hands are shakigm

5:47 PM

Fan: SHE SAID YES
Fan: @everyone
Fan: SHE SAID YES

Lightbulb: I TOLF YOU

Marshmallow: YAYAYAY

Paintbrush: congratulations

Bot: Finally
Bot: You have no idea how long I've been watching them dance around each other

Lightbulb: wgo even are you 🧐

Bot: :)

Bot has left the group

Lightbulb: WHAR

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

10:26 AM

Four: mepad is listening to delicate again

Nickel: yearning to taylor swift is crazy
Nickel: i would rather die

Four: its so embarrassing
Four: does taco even know

Nickel: probably it's not like he's subtle
Nickel: and shes in this server

Four: true

Nickel: they need to stop dancing around each other i swear to god

Fan: AAHHH

Nickel: ?? good morning

Fan: me and testy are dating :]

Nickel: finally wtf

Four: FINALLY

Fan: you cannot be talking

Four: 🤫

Fan: 🤐

Four: i have delicate stuck in my head now

Apple: MY REPUTATIONS NEVER BEEN WORSE SO YOU MUST LIKE ME FOR ME 🎶🎶🎶🎶

Four: WE CANT MAKE ANY PROMISES NOW CAN WE BABE

Apple: BUT YOU CAN MAKE ME A DRINK!!

Suitcase: IS IT COOL THAT I SAID ALL THAT?

Apple: IS IT TOO SOON TO DO THIS YET?

Four: CAUSE I KNOW THAT ITS DELICATE

Suitcase: THIRD FLOOR ON THE WEST SIDE, ME AND YOU

Apple: HANDSOME, YOURE A MANSION WITH A VIEW!!!

Four: DO THE GIRLS BACK HOME TOUCH YOU LIKE I DO 🎶🎶🎶

Suitcase: LONG NIGHT WITH YOUR HANDS UP IN MY HAIR

Apple: ECHOES OF TOUR FOOTSTEPS ON THE STAIRS

Suitcase: STAY HERE HONEY I DONT WANNA SHARE

Nickel: i closed my phone for 5 minutes

Fan: idk what you're on about im thriving

Nickel: im not

Fan: they could definitely be singing a better song

Apple: hey. taylor swift is peak

Suitcase: 🧐

Apple: HEY

Four: LMAO

11:12 AM

Nickel: four straight up brought an entire family size pack of chocolate chip cookies to lunch today

Four: 😋

Fan: 🧐
Fan: me when i food hoard and impulsively eat because i grew up never knowing when my next meal was

Four: HEY
Four: im going to throw a book at your head

Fan: my bad

4s: WHAT THE FUCJ I BOUGHT THOSE COOKIWS FOR BOTH OF US

Four: mine now!

4s: I HATE YOU

Four: get jn line 🥀⛓️

4s: watcj it.

[GC: the four horsemen]

11:16 AM

Testy: Are we watching Fan play more Persona tonight?

Fan: absolutely yes we are

Paintbrush: meet up at your place im guessing?

Fan: yep!!

Testy: I can't wait

Lightbulb: GUYD I VANT MAKE IT 💔💔

Testy: What! Why?

Lightbulb: I HAVR SO MUCH WORK YO DO

Paintbrush: that's fine we can do it tomorrow

Lightbulb: sniffl….
Lightbulb: i hatr math

Fan: do you need help?

Lightbulb: no its okau 🥀

Fan: 🧐

Testy: We're coming over tonight to help you

Lightbulb: AAAA
Lightbulb: OKAU!!!!

Fan: thought so

Paintbrush: what the fuck
Paintbrush: look by the left entrance. a fight is getting ready to happen

Fan: oh my god
Fan: that's knife and trophy

Paintbrush: what do you think happened this time

Fan: no idea but im getting thus on camera

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

11:17 AM

Apple: WHY ARE KNIFE AND TROPHY BEATING EACH OTHER UP

Suitcase: WHAAAAAAT
Suitcase: IM IN LUNCH B TODAY SOMEONE PLEASE RECORD IT

Apple: FAN IS RECORDING IT

Suitcase: fan is actually my new best friend

Balloon: HEY :(

Suitcase: its okay youre my best BEST friend

Balloon: YAY
Balloon: youre not forgiven though

Suitcase: 🥀

Apple: KNIFE JUST GRABBED TOPHY BY THE BACK OF HIS SHIRT AND SLAMMED HIM ON THE WALL

Suitcase: ????
Suitcase: did you guys know that trophy is genuinely obsessed with knife. he vagues him on instagram stories all the time but has him blocked
Suitcase: im not blocked though so i send them to knife 😇

Apple: WHAAT

Balloon: IM CRYING??
Balloon: can i say it

Suitcase: yes you can

Balloon: it's giving bully romance

Suitcase: INC RYIGNND

Apple: bully romance is CRAZY

Fan: no but he's right
Fan: he would know he had an enemies to lovers arc with nickel

Balloon: WGAT

Apple: GUYS
Apple: KNIFES NOSE IS BLEEDING

Suitcase: EHERE ARE THE TWACHERS 😭😭

Nickel: you know the teachers never come in during lunch

Suitcase: trye

Balloon: IM GOING TO GET ONE

Paintbrush: aw i wanted them to duke it out

Suitcase: IM CRINE

Apple: A TEACHER CAME IN AND SHOVED THEM APART AND STARTED YELLING AT THEM BUT TROPHYS JUST GLARING AT KNIFE WHOS BLEEDING EVERYWHERE 😭😭😭😭😭

Suitcase: thank you so much for the updates youre my hero

3:14 PM

Knife: I got a detention

Suitcase: wow i wonder why

Nickel: a shocker genuinely

Fan: the entire school has heard about your fight now

Knife: Yeah I'm not shocked. Their top football player got his ass beat by the loner kid

Fan: 🙋‍♂️
Fan: i have a question

Knife: What.

Fan: if this gets romantical will you pay me $20 please
Fan: i already have bets but i want to get more

Knife: ??
Knife: Goodnight

Fan: drat

Four: i cannot believe any of this just happened

Fan: i can! here's the video
Fan: https://youtu.be/oHg5SJYRHA0?si=gdXv3pYZoOf34z94

Four: youre actually the best

Fan: i know! :]

Chapter Text

4:46 PM

Taco: apparently it is not normal to return home from running errands and immediately be unable to move from bed for the next few days

Nickel: ??
Nickel: what

Taco: every bone in my body is on fire.

Four: ITS NOT NORMAL??

Taco: mepad told me i must seek medical attention soon

Four: im so cooked

Balloon: are you guys okay 😭😭

Four: 🤫

Taco: 🤫

Balloon: okay!
Balloon: i get it though my stomach hurts so bad im fetus style im my bed right now

Nickel: dawg
Nickel: am i the only one here that doesn't go through the seven torments every day

Balloon: you do though

Nickel: no i don't

Balloon: okay!

Taco: easiest gaslighting victim

Balloon: HEY
Balloon: my phone frll on my face twice while typing that

Nickel: LMFAO

Four: HE SAID BILL I BELIEVE THIS IS KILLING ME AS THE SMILE WENT AWAY FROM HIS FACE 🎶🎶

Nickel: youre not listening to 2000s pop? are you sure you're four

Four: i feel especially suicidal today

If you receive a message that's concerning or inappropriate, you can [report it].

Four: i love how it only does that to me. its really great and awesome

Balloon: i just almost threw up i might be cooked

Nickel: dawg go to the toilet or get a trash can or something

Balloon: i cant move 😓

Nickel: im on my way

Taco: is this character development

Nickel: just because we hated each other in middle school doesn't mean we have to hate each other now

Taco: let me make fun of you

Nickel: no
Nickel: ok bye im driving

Taco: i am succumbing to the darkness. goodnight

Four: wow everyone just died

Paintbrush: good morning everyone i just watched lightbulb fall down the stairs and send her books flying everywhere

Four: LMAOO

Fan: !?!?!
Fan: is she okay

Four: 2/4 horsemen are here what will come of the world

Paintbrush: death and destruction
Paintbrush: also yeah she's fine it was funny as fuck

Lightbulb: snifflr…

Four: 3/4 horsemen

Fan: my new earbuds don't fit properly in my ear and im about to crash out

Paintbrush: this is why headphones are superior

Fan: i have headphones i just use earbuds when im in bed so that my glasses dont break

Paintbrush: okay that makes sense

Four: me if i wore glasses

Fan: thank you four very cool

Four: anytime!

Fan: i wanna ruin our friendship… we should be lovers instead…. i don't know how to say this because you're really my dearest friend………

Paintbrush: wow

Fan: testy… sniffles
Fan: sometimes i can still hear her voice
Fan: um so hyper right now i didn't take my meds

Paintbrush: i can tell

Lightbulb: we sgould destroy the worlf rogether

Fan: true 🧐
Fan: lets make an evil mad scientist lab worthy of testy

Lightbulb: OKAT :4

Paintbrush: oh boy

Four: the world is going to end 😐

Fan: mueheheheheheh

Mic: Okay Futaba Persona 5R

Fan: FUTABAHTKEMFNXNCNCCCCC

Lightbulb: autism activatrd

Fan: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Mic: Hey….. We should talk about Persona sometime

Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please
Fan: please

Mic: Oh Wow!

Four: i think he might like persona idk though

Paintbrush: no i think he hates it

Fan: hhehrhjsfjdnmfsmlzjhhh

Mic: I've been meaning to make Taco play it
Mic: Maybe we will peer pressure her into it

Fan: ill just show up at her doorstep with my five copies of each persona 5 game

Mic: Why do you have five copies of each game

Fan: why not

Paintbrush: don't mess with persona fans only they will buy multiple copies of the same version of the game

Fan: have i shown you my disc collection

Paintbrush: multiple times

Fan: i have two of the same version of persona 5 strikers and three copies of the manga. ive also bwen meaning to buy tactica but idk it's a gacha game and i don't really care for gachas

Mic: Ugh don't even get me started
Mic: I never really looked into it. I heard that it's a gacha game and never looked back

Fan: kind of real
Fan: i just want to watch akira and akechi kiss idc about pulling for personas

Mic: LMAOOO

Paintbrush: of course you'd say that

Fan: what the fuck!!

Lightbulb: he nice to him hes jusr a girl

Fan: exactly

Paintbrush: i hate women

Lightbulb: :(
Lightbulb: bacter is going to lose his secomd mom

Paintbrush: hey
Paintbrush: im taking the kids

Lightbulb: NOOOO

Fan: lightbrush divorce arc

Mic: What have we done

Lightbulb: thr kids will be happier with me….. don't do this to thm :(

Paintbrush: yeah well at least with me theyll have two parents again
Paintbrush: that's right
Paintbrush: im having an affair

Lightbulb: WHAT!!111
Lightbulb: how could you. after everything we've done together… after everything i did for uou….

Paintbrush: and what did you do for me?
Paintbrush: i didn't feel loved. i had to lean on another person because you don't care about anyone but yourself.

Lightbulb: thats not true :( i spend all night working at the hospital to providw for our family

Paintbrush: what about me?? what about what i need?? when you get home you're too tired to do anything except sleep
Paintbrush: im left behind to feel unloved and unappreciated by everybody. our kids are spoiled, you're spoiled, it's all too much

Lightbulb: it doesnt have to be :(( we can still change :((( please… im sorgy….

Paintbrush: no. its over. goodbye lightbulb.

Lightbulb: NOO…
Lightbulb: falls to my knees sobbing

Fan: im crying
Fan: round of applause

Paintbrush: thank you thank you

Mic: You should join the theatre club

Paintbrush: and be around taco all day? no thanks

Mic: 😐

Paintbrush: tough audience

Fan: LMAOO

Paintbrush: holy shit lightbulb just got sick hang on

Fan: WHAT
Fan: be careful???

Chapter Text

8:55 AM

Fan: good morning
Fan: there's currently a kitten attacking my shirt

Nickel: why

Fan: my cat had babies a few months ago

Nickel: ??
Nickel: can i steal one

Fan: sure

Nickel: awesome

Fan: ill dm you later

Nickel: great

Knife: Grsta tallfh gushs

Nickel: what

Fan: LMAO??

Knife: I fell over while typing that

Bow: 🪑

Apple: 🧠

Fan: i think im losing it

Apple: CALL ME IN THE MORNING TO APOLOGIZE, EVERY LITTLE LIE GIVES ME BUTTERFLIES!!!! SOMETHING ABOHT THE WAY YOURE LOOKIN THROUGH MY EYES, DONT KNOW IF IM GONNA MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!

Paintbrush: is that teeth by 5sos

Apple: yuuuup

Nickel: are you going through the horrors

Apple: yyyuuuuupppp 😁

Nickel: awesome

Paintbrush: me too lowkey
Paintbrush: well
Paintbrush: idk its complicated

Apple: well now im curious

Paintbrush: later

Apple: OKAY!

Fan: we should make a server playlist

Paintbrush: that's going to be such a disaster

Suitcase: OMG
Suitcase: rubs my hands together

Taco: do it

Fan: me when a bad bitch tell me what to do 🫡

Taco: 😁

Fan: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2AjOWoUXf6y6wjU4KOCOff?si=zdmVhOl0TBqYfVHU24deuA&pi=MXFk9oqITeec6

Suitcase: i cant wait to add every single one of my 3k saved songs

Fan: damn???

Paintbrush: do you have enough songs

Suitcase: nah i think i need more

Marshmallow: LOOK AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL STARS I WANNA DRIVE A FASTER CAR!

Apple: MARSH :333

Marshmallow: APPLE :3333

Paintbrush: is that fucking. the song aphmau used in her mystreet outros (??)

Marshmallow: shhhhhhh

Nickel: im so fucking serious i have almost 200 spotify playlists

Marshmallow: DAMN??

Apple: the musicerrrr

Fan: who added nfs entire discography by release date im crying

Nickel: my bad

Fan: of course

Knife: NF is peak

Nickel: at least someone gets me

Suitcase: i have 263 playlists btw

Nickel: what the fuck

Suitcase: HHDJGNS

Fan: i don't even have ten

Suitcase: how do you not make a playlist for every emotion youve ever felt in your entire life

Fan: idk i don't listen to a lot of different songs
Fan: i stick to the same four bands and three songs. autism win

Suitcase: this is wild to me

Nickel: fan is wild

Suitcase: true ….

Lightbulb: guysssss im home sick

Fan: me too LMAO

Nickel: so are balloon and i

Suitcase: SO AM I???

Four: i got sick too but as per usual i have yo go to class 💔
Four: oj and oaper are home sick too. im rawdogging this school day

Nickel: never fucking say that again

Apple: im losing it im also sick

Bow: 🪑

Fan: thank you bow very awesome

Bow: 🪑‼️‼️

Marshmallow: WHY ARE WE ALL SICK.

Nickel: dawg at this rate the entire schools gonna be empty

Four: with three thousand students?

Nickel: shut up im exaggerating for comedic effect

Fan: suck my nuts 💔

12:03 PM

Mic: I got around to watching Ninjago finally. Tell me why this is lowkey peak

Fan: ejfjanfmskfnakfjanfmsmfksl
Fan: who's your favourite so far

Mic: Honestly?
Mic: I don't super have one
Mic: I have beef with Wu though

Fan: thank you.

Suitcase: wu can sufk my fat cock
Suitcase: im spending too much time with nickel i think

Fan: im crying

Suitcase: NO BUT
Suitcase: honestly. listen to me for a second

Fan: 👂

Mic: 👂

Suitcase: especially in the early seasons. justice for jay and zane
Suitcase: im lowkey maternal towards jay

Mic: I see it
Mic: They bully him so often

Fan: it definitely eases up later on but lowkey
Fan: i also bully lightbulb for being stupid sometimes and she knows it's a joke so i just pretend that's what's happening with jay
Fan: as for zane… they're all autistic they cannot be talking about him like that

Mic: “Zanes so weird!!!” So are you

Fan: LMAOO

Mic: Garmadon kind of reminds me of Taco

Fan: are you in love or something

Mic: No!

Suitcase: 🤔
Suitcase: actually
Suitcase: guys can i add my girlfriend pretty please 🥺

Fan: no… growls.

Suitcase: ???

Fan: LMAO
Fan: go for it

Welcome, Box! We hope you brought pizza!

Box: HIHIHIHIHI

Fan: there's so many people in my discord that have three letter names starting with b

Box: HAHA

Suitcase: HI BOX

Box: JI SUITCASR

Mic: Hello!

Box: HI

Bow: 🪑

Apple: 🧠

Paper: 🌮

Four: 👅

Taco: 🥩

Box: WHGT IS HAPEPNING

Suitcase: they all have signature emojis and every few days they just spam chat with it

Box: 🦐

Suitcase: …. 🌚

Box: STOP I HATE THAT

Apple: ew ew ugly

Chapter Text

7:39 AM

Paper: four had to fast to get blood work done and he got to school and immediately ordered the entire kitchen for breakfast

Box: is that why i saw someone walking to a table with an armful of food

Paper: yeah that's four

Box: HEHDJD

Four: let me be a fat slob in peace

Paper: no thanks

Four: hater 💔

Box: i support your flat slobism dw

Nickel: yeah youll fit in well here

Box: 😁

Fan: four horsemen are playing content warning later tonight who wants to see my cw bingo list

Box: ME

Four: absolutely

Fan: clears my throat
— someone jokes about wanting to fuck harpoon
— lightbulb dies to something really stupid at least three times
— me and testy adopt a spider mine
— paintbrush and testy argue over who gets to be the cameraman
— one of our mods break and we all crash at the very end of the day (again)
— someone gets dragged out by family and has to leave in the middle of the day
— lightbulb gets warned about a ceiling slurper three to five times and walks into it each time
— barnacle jumps our ass seven days in a row

Four: harpoon part is crazy

Box: would lightbulb survive in the wild

Fan: absolutely not

Nickel: you and testy adopting a spider mine is making me lose my mind

Fan: god forbid women get maternal towards anything

Nickel: do you just adopt anything

Fan: pretty much

Nickel: how many kids do you have now

Fan: let's see
Fan: i have an egg incubating that i found outside in a forest (i felt bad for it because it was abandoned and testy helps me take care of it), we have a little mint coloured robot that i made in my robotics class last year, grassy and nickel from bfdi, sketchpad from tnm, crossainty from orbit, razor and bennett from genshin impact, my cat and her kittens, kyu from bungou stray dogs, crown and cb from lots,

Nickel: jesus fucking christ calm down a bit

Box: fucking like rabbits

Nickel: never again

Four: im banning you

Box: IM CRINE

Fan: im losing my mind
Fan: that list is even bigger than i thought it was
Fan: like my-

Four: no

Nickel: no

Paper: no

Box: LIKE MY WEIINER!!

Fan: my one true friend

Box: lets kiss about it

Fan: AAHHH

Box: LMAOAOAOA

Suitcase: box are you cheating on me 🥀

Box: yeah sorry fans actually my one true love even though we met only yesterday

Suitcase: how dare you… i thought we had something

Nickel: is this the lightbrush bit all over again

Suitcase: 😁

3:14 PM

Marshmallow: guuuyys
Marshmallow: i had a bunch of blood work done and now im being sent in to get more testing done for diabetes

Nickel: oh wow you're fucking cooked

Box: how it felt getting my wheelchair for the first time tbh

Marshmallow: 💔💔

Box: good luck 🥀 don't die

Marshmallow: i am locked in 🫡

Box: im rawdogging this conversation
Box: spotify won't load

Nickel: do you not have premium

Box: do i look like im made of money

Nickel: idk ive never seen you dawg

Box: growls

Marshmallow: my premium ran out the other day 💔

Box: girl the seven torments want you

Marshmallow: I KNOW

Paintbrush: good morning i had a nightmare that taco and i went to college together and a tornado struck our building so we had to hide in a closet together

Box: that sounds like a terrible dream my condolences

Suitcase: IM CRYING

Fan: rip taco
Fan: its okay i can treat her better

Taco: ?

Fan: heh

Taco: thanks but no thanks

Fan: aw 💔

Paintbrush: wow. im going back to sleep after that one

Fan: ill call you when we're all ready to play 💔

Chapter Text

5:38 PM

Four: does anybody else's dad do the dishes like they're trying to brutally and viciously murder the demons that have haunted their minds since they were five years old learning to do basic math

Nickel: that is definitely a choice of phrasing

Four: i dont know how else to rub in the fact that it sounds like he wants to commit homicide

Nickel: keep the police on dial i guess

Four: LMAO
Four: if only that actually would do anything

Paper: four get on the minecraft server i need your opinion about something

Four: OKAY!

Nickel: rip four
Nickel: i need to get back on and start stocking up on diamonds again

Four: did you lose your diamonds or something

Nickel: no i turned them all into diamond hoes

Four: why.

Nickel: why not
Nickel: don't be a hater

Four: ?????

Balloon: he did it because i told him to

Nickel: yeah

Four: im so beyond lost right now i think i need to
Four: idk kill myself

Nickel: rip four you would've loved paper and oj

Four: WHAT

7:35 PM

Fan: guys hear me out

Four: 👂

Fan: i think we should pick a random kid in the school and start making them famous
Fan: like
Fan: treat them like a celebrity in this server

Apple: oh my fod
Apple: youre so right

Fan: you get me

Four: yeah this is peak. has zero potential to go wrong whatsoever

Fan: 😐

Apple: 😐

Suitcase: 😐

Nickel: 😐

Pickle: 😐

Four: OKAY I GET IT

Suitcase: can i nominate someone

Fan: absolutely

Suitcase: there's this girl in my literature class
Suitcase: her name is cabby

Fan: I KNOW HER
Fan: well not personally. i know OF her

Apple: lets make cabby famous everyone

Four: okAY!

Fan: i love that i know exactly how you said that

Four: 💔
Four: okay i actually have to go do homework now
Four: i have to write and compose a song for my music class

Nickel: rip

Suitcase: so cooked

Nickel: im surprised there wasnt a death threat after that one

Suitcase: kys

Nickel: dawg

Lightbulb: HGGIIIIII IM CURD

Nickel: curd

Lightbulb: :4 🦀

Suitcase: HI LIGHTBULB

Lightbulb: HI SUITCASE

Fan: my cat is curled up beside mHI LIGHTBULB

Lightbulb: FAN!!!

Fan: LIGHTYBL!!!!!

Lightbulb: FAM!!!!!!!!!

Fan: LIGTUNL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nickel: wow
Nickel: nice spelling

Fan: growls

Nickel: freak
Nickel: you're acting like knife

Fan: let me actually kill myself over that one

Knife: Hey.

Fan: LMAO

Suitcase: hi knife

Knife: Hi Suitcase

Nickel: did you guys know knife has exactly seven different alt accounts

Fan: we are the knifelings please feed us

Chapter Text

10:03 AM

OJ: My English class is so boring
OJ: I shouldn't be on my phone but there is NOTHING else to do

Suitcase: average literature class experience

Knife: Why do you say literature. None of us are British here

Taco: ??

Suitcase: it's funny don't be a hater knife

Knife: Too late

OJ: I was also asked to organize a school trip…

Knife: Why

OJ: School council

Knife: Oh. Sucks

Suitcase: great talk guys
Suitcase: and i thought i was bad at talking

Nickel: lmfao

Suitcase: i hope you dislodge a tooth and choke on it in your sleep

Nickel: so do i sometimes

Suitcase: 😐

OJ: I will report you to Ballpoint Pen

Nickel: nvm im actually the happiest guy out there
Nickel: so happy that ive got serotonin syndrome

Box: I GOT THREE FUCKING AD BREAKS IN A ROW
Box: WHAT HAPPENED TO THIRTY MINUTES OF MUSIC. RHAT WAS THREE EACH TIME.

Nickel: dawg this is insane what

Suitcase: thats it im buying you premium

Box: please 💔💔💔💔💔💔

Suitcase: when we get home i pinkie promise

Box: oh right you're at school i forgot

Suitcase: YOURE NOT??

Box: dentist appointment 💔

OJ: ?? Are you okay?

Box: yeah its just a cleaning im chilling
Box: my mom lets me stay home after appointments as long as my grades are good and i don't run out of excused absences

Nickel: i still think it's dumb as fuck that there's a limit to EXCUSED absences

Box: ME TOO

Knife: I understand but I also don't

OJ: It comes down to the fact that the district has to meet an hour criteria for each student and too many absences cut that hour criteria

Nickel: rip kids who are ill and have to visit the hospital a lot

Suitcase: nickel? showing basic sympathy? whats happening is the world ending

Nickel: dawg

Box: another ad break. its been two songs 😐 im so mad
Box: i hate giving a company like this money but theres not a single app thats as good as spotify premium for free and my phones too cheap to download and pirate music

Nickel: real as fuck

Knife: Yeah this is real

Taco: i witnessed oj get scolded for being on his phone by the teacher, close it and put it jn his book bag and then immediately return to it when she turned her back

Nickel: LMFAO

Suitcase: whos bad behaviour is rubbing off on him

OJ: Nobody's. I'm bored.

Box: lowkey real

Nickel: another detention rapidly approaching

OJ: Unlike you, I know how not to get caught

Suitcase: THATS CRAZY

Paper: TELL ME BABY BABY DO I WALK LIKE A BOY DO I SPEAK LIKE A BOY DO I STAND LIKE A BOY

Nickel: is this another musical episode

Fan: SORRY BABE YOU KEEP ASKING, DO I KISS LIKE A BOY? SHOULD I SPIT LIKE A BOY? MAY I FUCK OTHER BOYS?

Paper: you get me

Fan: i get you

Knife: I haven't heard that song in forever

Paper: me neither it randomly started playing on my everything playlist

1:23 PM

Lightbulb: i miss baxterrrrr 😥😥😥😥😥😥

Paper: baxter misses you too im sure

Lightbulb: BACTERRRRRRRTF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Fan: wow this is just like idiotic island extended family chapter 1

Nickel: what

Fan: 😁

Four: uh huh this my shit all the girls stomp your feet like this

Nickel: here we go again

Fan: thjs really is like early idiotic island extended family

Nickel: what the fuck is this supposed to mean

Fan: 😁

Four: i gut an a+ on my song
Four: my teacher also wrote a note that i could talk to her about anything i needed to LMAO

Nickel: wtf did you submit

Four: i called it….
Four: ✨ 🌈 karma waits 🌈 ✨

Nickel: yeah that sounds like something that would get that reaction

OJ: Four has me watching reality TV

Four: which show please tell me

OJ: .. The Circle

Four: I HAVENT STARTED THAT ONE YET DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT

OJ: Okay! I'm only on the first episode anyway

Four: i want to rewatch the masked singer soon. and american ninja warrior

Nickel: four do you have a special interest in reality tv

Four: mmmmayyybeeeeeee

OJ: This is so bad so far I cannot

Four: im so excited i can't wait to get invested

Lightbulb: shgould i watch too… 🧐

OJ: Absolutely

Lightbulb: SHAKIRA SHAKIRA 💃💃

Four: SHAKIRA SHAKIRAAA 🕺🕺🕺🕺

Chapter Text

[GC: The Trio of Misery]

5:48 PM

Four: im leaving

OJ: Sorry?

Four: im leaving home
Four: im sick of everything so im leaving
Four: i just figured id let you guys know before you think i died or something

OJ: Four..
OJ: Did you think this through?

Four: yeah
Four: for months
Four: ive slowly been taking money from cobs savings and stashing food and clothes

OJ: Where are you going?

Four: dont know yet. ill find out on the way

OJ: What about your family? Your friends?

Four: youll heal without me

OJ: I'm coming over

Four: ive already left

Paper: four??

Four: what

Paper: this isn't something we can change your mind on, is it

Four: its not

OJ: …

Paper: take care of yourself

OJ: We'll be here if you ever need anything

Four: i know
Four: thank you

[DMs: OJ, Paper]

5:50 PM

OJ: We're not letting him go, are we?

Paper: im calling mepad as we speak

OJ: Okay.

Paper: she says that he hasn't seen four since they got on the bus to go to school

OJ: What about 4S or 3GS?

Paper: she's asking them now

OJ: Okay.
OJ: I checked life360. He turned his location off and left the circle.

Paper: jesus
Paper: we'll figure this out
Paper: they haven't seen him either

OJ: Let me ask around. He might be staying with somebody

Paper: alright

6:36 PM

OJ: Nothing.

Paper: do we go to the police??

OJ: I don't know

Paper: maybe it's better for him to get away
Paper: we know how his dad is

OJ: He might be safer like this

Paper: i don't know what to do
Paper: will he stay in contact with us?

OJ: It's up to him. I will continue to reach out

Paper: me too
Paper: if we don't hear something back from him in a few days, we'll call the police

OJ: Agreed.

Paper: i have homework to do
Paper: come over and help?

OJ: Of course. I'm on my way.

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

5:58 AM

Apple: I WOKE UP AND WE'RE SNOWED INSIDE??

Marshmallow: ITS LITERALLY OCTOBER WHAT

Paintbrush: thank god i can get out of my math exam

Apple: the classes are online today 💔

Paintbrush: fuck

Lightbulb: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Lightbulb: rest is peeb b:(((

Apple: REST IS PEEB

Marshmallow: REST IS PEEB

Paintbrush: LMAO

Lightbulb: :4 🦀

Fan: did tou guys know that people who were blind from birth don't develop schizophrenia

Lightbulb: WHAR

Balloon: wait that's actually really interesting

Fan: i know right

Suitcase: suddenly wish i was blind from birth

Balloon: i did NOT know youre schizophrenic

Suitcase: technically its just psychosis because i dont match enough other symptoms but my doctor hit me with the “that can always change especially at your age” so

Balloon: this is cooked

Suitcase: someone take me out back and shoot me like an old dog

YinYang: RAAHHH 🦖

Paintbrush: thank you yang very cool

YinYang: 😈

Paintbrush: damn everyone is awake
Paintbrush: its barely 6 am

Suitcase: i didn't sleep at all

Apple: me neither 💔

Bow: 🪑

Apple: HII BOW

Bow: HIHIHIHIHIHHII

Apple: :3

Bow: :3

Fan: AND NOW ITS KILLING ME I JUST WANT YOU TO BE MY NEXT MISTAKE

Apple: SHE WORE A SWEATER IN SUMMER WEATHER YEAH SHE WORE A SWEATER IT WAS FUNERAL GREY

Fan: :]

Apple: :3

YinYang: :V

Lightbulb: :4

Marshmallow: :p

Bow: MARSHY

Marshmallow: HII BOWWW

Balloon: didntou guys know i never learned how to ride a bike

Paintbrush: liam would be disappointed in you

Balloon: HEY

Suitcase: smh smh smh paintbrush be nice to him smh smh smh smh smh

Paintbrush: do you think you shook your head enough

Suitcase: no i need to do it more actually

Balloon: im so heartbroken

Nickel: hi balloon

Balloon: HI

Suitcase: fa-

Nickel: hey.

Suitcase: LMAOAOAO

Paintbrush: oh wow

Lightbulb: waow

YinYang: KILL YOURSELVES!!!!!!

If you receive a message that's concerning or inappropriate, you can [report it].

Nickel: LMAK

Fan: this is such a functional conversation

Nickel: god forbid a guy fucks around

Fan: yeah. god forbid.

Nickel: you hate me

Fan: >:]

Nickel: watch it buddy

Suitcase: im really loving everyone beefing with nickel. i support this

Nickel: of course you do

YinYang: all of our joints just cracked at once

Nickel: thanks for sharing

YinYang: any time

Fan: this is real though
Fan: mine do that all the time i have the body of an 80 year old

[DMs: Fan, Taco]

6:29 AM

Taco: i have an emergency

Fan: ??
Fan: what's up

Taco: how do i ask mepad out

Chapter Text

The world had a way of fading into the background when catastrophic events occured. Things suddenly stopped being as important as they used to. Events with friends were less fun. The television shows that had you laughing until you couldn't breathe were no longer funny. Hunger and thirst became something of the past, and the only thing you could really do with yourself was sleep.

Unfortunately, time never paused for grief. MePad still stirred in the morning to the sound of screaming and clashing as his father tore through the house like a tornado. She still had to crawl out from beneath his sheets and stumble for the doorway in the hopes of something to eat in the morning. He still had to avoid looking 3gs in the eye as he darted from his bedroom to the bathroom, narrowly avoiding the sight of his father.

Everything was quieter without Four around.

4s occasionally poked his head into MePad’s room for long enough to make sure that she was still breathing, but otherwise remained tucked into his room. She couldn't blame him. He was still waiting for that one college to get back to him, and then he would be free from home forever. He was only trying to survive the next few months.

Cobs himself was quieter, in some sense. Anger brewed beneath his skin like a storm readying, and his footsteps were as loud as ever, but he no longer directed it onto MePad or 4s. Only when 3gs was caught under his glare did the storm strike.

She had to get ready for school. MePad took a deep, long breath to steady the way his hands trembled as he adjusted his sweater-vest. He swung his bag over his shoulder and made a break for the front door, narrowly avoiding Cobs as he navigated from the kitchen to the first floor’s living room. His name was called but by the time he processed it, he was already out the door and down the street.

It felt like a hole had been gnawed deep into her chest. Four should be walking at her side. He should be talking his ears off about the latest episode of any of the numerous shows he drowned himself in. He should be boarding the bus with her and fighting over the window seat until she ultimately caved and let him get a thirty-minute nap before they reached the school.

Was he safe? It had been snowing hard the past few days, and it clung to MePad’s boots as he quickened his pace in fear of being late to the bus stop. Granted, the sun was beginning to shine and melt away most of it, but… Had he prepared for the winter weather? Did he bring a coat with him? Was he somewhere warm, or was he frostbitten and shaking in some alleyway alone?

—

His thoughts plagued him all throughout the day, as they had been for the many long days before. Every so often, somebody that he vaguely recognized would intercept him in the hallways or in class and question if he knew where Four was. Every time, MePad lied straight out of his teeth — Four got sick with the vast weather changes and, luckily, they were all able to convince Cobs to let him stay home until he felt better.

He didn't feel bad about lying, not really.

MePad was well aware of the consequences of telling the truth — that he had no clue where Four had run off to and it made him sick with worry in ways that he had never felt sick before. That he barely got an hour of sleep a night without being torn from it gasping in a puddle of his own sweat, with visions of Four’s body in the backs of his eyes.

Lunch rolled around. He sat at his table with a packet of late work handed to him by a very disappointed guidance counselor that she had not listened to at all. His stomach rumbled somewhere in the distance but the mere thought of eating, knowing full well that Four might be starving somewhere out of reach, kept him glued to his seat. His fingers drummed on the table. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

Movement in the corner of his eyes had his head whipping up. Taco sat across from him. Her brow creased, knotted at the centre, and she rested her overflowing bookbag on the seat beside her. She looked at him for a long moment and he did his best to avoid her gaze, despite how his skin prickled. He was being disrespectful.

He couldn't find it in him to care, not really.

“MePad.”

Her voice was stern enough that his head snapped up and electric blue met deep green eyes. He swallowed thickly and leaned back, crossing his hands in his lap. Taco narrowed her eyes and clenched and unclenched her fist at her side repeatedly. Her lips parted, closed, and then parted again.

“Yes?” He managed, a feeble attempt to urge her on.

She sighed. “What on Earth is going on with you? You're never like this.”

“I’m afraid I’m rather tired, Taco. My apologies for worrying you.”

She didn't buy it. Her eyes slitted. “Bullshit. I really wanted to try this week, MePad. I was going to grow a pear and ask you out on a date, but you've been so distant that it's like I'm not even talking to you. I know something's up.”

Wait..
What?

All of his thoughts died out at once and he was stuck staring at her for longer than he would like to admit. A faint pink tint dusted her cheeks, but her worry presented as agitation that was bolder than her embarrassment. His heart seemed to freeze in his chest. Was she serious about asking him out, or was that an attempt to catch him off guard so that he would talk to her?

He saw the way that she looked at Mic. There was no way that she actually wanted him.

He cleared his throat and averted his gaze to his hands, crossed so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. “I appreciate your concern, Taco, but I am alright. I promise.”

Taco rolled her eyes at him and rose to her feet. Her bag rattled as it was swung to her hip, and she turned partially in the direction of Mic’s table. He had seen her walk that way enough times to know that.

“I’ll be here when you're finally ready to talk. I’m not stupid.”

Chapter Text

His fingers were numb.

Four took a deep breath and let the cold air rip into his lungs painfully to remind him that he was, in fact, alive. His stomach growled and his eyes stung, but he was alive and he was free. He rubbed his hands together and thought back to the week before. Had it already been a week? It barely felt like that, but a glimpse at the phone in his pocket told him as much.

He cleared the multitude of notifications without reading any of them. MePad and 3gs still sent him messages multiple times a day in the hopes that he would respond. 4s had stopped after the fourth day. He tried not to feel hurt over it.

He needed food desperately. Four chewed at his lip and scanned the street before him. He wasn't quite sure where he was anymore — he had left the city a long time ago, dotting between bus stops where he would get on and stare out the window for a few hours in a desperate attempt to forget everything that was happening. He was running low on cash, and he wasn't as far as he would have liked to be.

Four weighed his options. He could probably stop at a gas station and get a sandwich for cheap, but that would risk him being recognized. Aside from his pictures being all over the internet, he also shared his father’s same narrow eyes and sharp, angled nose and arched upper lip. His hunger ultimately won over, and he steeled his nerves and set in a direction to walk until he found something.

His feet ached by the time he navigated to a busy road. Cars whipped by at intimidating speeds and blew his hair, slick with grease and dirt, into his face. He stood at the edge for a second, watching the cars for longer than he would have liked to admit. Every so often, one would slow for long enough that he could see a driver peering at him. He met their gaze evenly each time.

A large, blue sign in the distance caught his attention. There was a collection of gas stations nearby, thankfully. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and started walking again. Silently, he hoped that he would not end up having to cross the road. That would be a nightmare waiting to happen, and he couldn't risk winding up in a hospital somewhere—

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he froze in his tracks. Tires screeched behind him, piercing his ears like a pair of needles. His heart hammered in his chest and he spun around only to wind up face-to-face with bright white LEDs and a panicked, pale face. Ice slicked the pavement behind the car and it wasn't until the world slowed to a stand-still that he realized what was about to happen to him.

He just had to go and jinx it, didn't he?

The pain struck him like a lightning bolt. It hit his legs first and then his chest as he crumpled. A scream rang in his ears and, somewhere off in the distance, he wondered if it was his own. His vision flickered and the world spun and he was struggling to breathe more than he ever had before.

He didn't want to die.

The corners of his world blurred and blackened dizzyingly. Four gasped for air and immediately regretted it. Had he been stabbed? That would explain the feeling in his lungs, as if they had been torn open and peeled at the edges. A car door slammed open and footsteps drowned the rest of the world out as his legs fell out from beneath him and his head hit the road.

Everything disappeared all at once.

Was he going to die here? He didn't want to die. Terror gripped at him, dug its talons in deep and he fought the water pulling him under with the ferocity of a starving beast. He lurched and flailed but his body didn't obey his commands, and he couldn't see or hear or feel anything. He was dying, and he couldn't even tell his friends the truth about everything.

The water won its fight for his consciousness. He faded away, pleading for mercy, his surroundings blacker than they'd ever been before.

…

The first thing he noticed was a distant, rhythmic beeping. The second thing he noticed was a sharp, piercing whirring noise and a vague sensation of pressure deep in his chest. His eyes snapped open, and dismay gripped at him, suffocated him before he could fully realize what was happening. He knew, though. He always did.

There was no mistaking the cold eyes staring down at him.

Four contemplating sitting up. He considered fighting, throwing his fist at anything that he could reach and then retreating into the night once more. But that would be futile. More futile than anything else that he had tried in the past. His only option was to lay complacent and let everything that was about to happen to him happen.

Sparks flitted across his skin. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to distract from the cold metal and the unyielding hands inside of his chest. At least the damage was being fixed, he supposed. At least it could be fixed. He had seen what 3gs dealt with on a day-to-day basis. He wanted more than anything to avoid that outcome for himself.

“I built you to be smart,” Cobs was saying. His voice felt like ice cubes running down Four’s neck. “You’re meant to be better . 4s does his job perfectly — he excels in his schooling, graduates early as I allow him to. But you…”

His hand twisted in Four’s chest. He tried not to let it show the way his breath caught in his lungs, but Cobs knew. He always did.

“Do you realize the risk that you put this family under? Do you understand what would happen if the world discovers the truth?”

The drone of the device in his chest paused for long enough that Four’s eyes blinked open before he could stop it from happening. Cobs was peering down at him, his brows knotting in a tight line. His lips creased, pursed together furiously. Four shrunk away from his glare and dug his fingernails into his cuticles.

“I know,” he muttered, staring hard at the wall behind Cobs. “I’m sorry. I really am.”

He wasn't sorry at all.

Cobs grunted noncommittally. “You had better be. I am not making this easy for you.”

Just when he wished that was the extent of the lecture, Cobs opened his mouth again. More sparks hit Four’s skin and he realized that was fully intentional, as if the simple feeling of having his body split open before him wasn't already bad enough. The ceiling above Four was suddenly the most fascinating thing that he had ever seen, and he narrowed his eyes at it to block Cobs out of his sight.

“You can only imagine my surprise when a counselor at your school calls my personal number, tells me that his car hit you two cities from here. He knows now, Four. He saw the wiring that I gifted you with,” the edge of his tool tapped against exposed wires along his torso, “and the error code in your eyes. I have to get rid of him because of your reckless fantasies.”

Four swallowed thickly. He knew what it meant when Cobs ‘got rid’ of someone.

He really was stupid. If he had stuck it out for just a few more years, he wouldn't be responsible for the death of another person. A living person, made of flesh and bone unlike him. He tried not to shake, tried not to give Cobs the satisfaction of knowing how deeply his words buried into his heart. Part of him wished that he had actually died. He wouldn't have to deal with this if he had died.

But then MePad and 3gs would deal with it alone.

His eyes squeezed shut and the rest of the night passed in a blur. Every so often, Cobs would say something but Four couldn't quite make it out from the buzzing in his ears. He wasn't quite sure how long he had spent being maneuvered around, examined and repaired over and over again, but it was far too long for his liking.

He went straight to his room and collapsed into his bed the second that he was free. He didn't stop to check his phone or spare a glance in MePad’s bedroom. The sun had set a long time ago and everyone was surely asleep by then. Four curled into a tight ball, pressed his face into his pillow, and clamped his mouth shut with his hand as tears streamed from his eyes.

Would it ever end?

Chapter Text

A knock on the door jolted Four from dreams about blizzards and car crashes. He sat up, blinking sleep from his eyes, and swallowed back the dismay that rose up his throat like bile. There was no convincing anybody to let him stay home from school. He would have to return and act as if nothing had happened.

“Get up, Four, I don't have all day,” Cobs’ impatient voice pierced his ears and he cringed, stumbling out of his sheets.

“I’m coming.”

He didn't feel like changing clothes. He glanced at himself in the mirror above his dresser and decided that the same jeans and jacket he'd worn for the past week was good enough. Looking nice was the last thing on his mind.

Briefly, he glanced at the notifications on his phone while he swung his school bag over his shoulder and made a break for the front door once he was sure that Cobs had left his room. He scrolled through various conversations in various group chats, multiple private messages from MePad and OJ, and eventually pocketed his phone once more. Something brewed in the pit of his stomach, something unpleasant that made his hands tremble as he opened the door.

Cold air blasted his face immediately. His breath caught in his throat and he had to force a deep inhale to adjust. There was no reason for it to be so cold so early into the autumn season. The world must have something against him specifically, with the way that things had been going lately… Let alone his entire life.

His bus was late.

Four ground his teeth together, shifted them side to side and considered screaming his frustrations into his hands. MePad stood behind him, having rushed out the door as soon as she was aware that he was leaving, but neither of them had said anything to the other so far. Four could barely look her in the face, and she didn't seem ready to make him.

He wished that he could feel guilty. His skin prickled with discomfort, but he didn't feel bad. Not like he should have. If he told MePad this, he would likely get some kind of lecture about trauma and its affect on his brain, but… he would rather have MePad yell at him than look at him with all of that pity in her gaze. She would never truly understand what it was like. Cobs practically refused to acknowledge her existence, while he was constantly all over Four.

Was he jealous of her position?

Perhaps he was. Perhaps he would rather his existence consistently ignored as opposed to only acknowledged when it was time to undergo misery. His brain ached. The combination of sheer neglect alongside the insistence to cause pain, the expectations, the fact that he was Cobs’ ‘favourite creation’... What was he to expect? What was he to think? Did he even have a right to think anything about it?

The bus screeched to a stop as soon as it arrived, exactly fourteen minutes off-schedule. Four swallowed and did his best to pretend that he didn't flinch backwards, fully expecting agony to strike his shell of a body at any second. MePad glanced down at him, concern shining bright in her eyes like a laser intending to scathe every inch of his skin. He avoided her eyes like the plague.

His ride to school must have only been twenty or so minutes, but it had felt like a few hours. Four slumped against the window as it pulled into the school’s parking lot. The front doors were already closed and the area was vacant aside from—

Oh.

A guidance counselor, standing outside with his arms crossed and a clipboard tucked against his chest. The same one that haunted his dreams that night, the one with the terror in his eyes and the blame for his upcoming death, and—

Fuck.

The bus’s door opened with an obnoxious whirring screech. Four slowly, hesitantly made his way down the stairs and kept his gaze firmly locked on the pavement below his feet. The counselor glanced at him, said something that vaguely registered as a command to wait behind but that Four was too busy panicking to truly understand. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, watched MePad book it for the entrance to the school, and listened to the counselor speak with the bus driver in the background.

The trees swayed in the wind. His hair blew in his face. Everything felt so distant, as if it were happening in a dream of his. The colours of the world around him faded into a mesh of strange hues, and he fought the urge to blink until it fixed itself. He knew this feeling. He was very familiar with it. There was nothing to fear — he was being saved by his own brain.

And then the counselor appeared in front of him, and he snapped out of it.

“Mephone4, correct?” The counselor said, extending one hand decorated in gold rings. “I’m Ballpoint Pen.”

Four stared at the hand until it retracted, albeit awkwardly. The counselor dusted off his suit, adjusted the gold-rimmed glasses atop his nose, and managed a friendly enough smile that didn't quite meet his eyes. His hair, as black as ink, had been tied up in a messy ponytail; a feeble attempt to make it look neater. It didn't work very well.

“We need to talk. Come with me to my office.”

There was no arguing with that. Four sighed through his nose but trailed behind Ballpoint Pen, desperately attempting to call upon the familiar, comfortable dissociation once more. It was no use. Of course it wasn't. Of course his mind went out of its way to sabotage him in whichever way it could. Bitterness festered in his throat until his feet crossed into Ballpoint Pen’s office, where it died like a fire under rain.

The seat that he sat in, as directed, was leather and squished beneath his legs with a small puff of air. Four dug his nails into his jeans and stared at the wall behind the desk that Ballpoint Pen sat down in. The door closed behind them with a click and a thud, and Four attempted to conceal a flinch by scratching his chin. He needed to shave when he got home. The last thing he wanted was to start growing a beard and narrow the differences between he and Cobs even more.

Ballpoint Pen leaned over the desk and crossed his hands together. Four avoided looking at him, avoided reading his expression for fear of finding anger — or worse, disappointment — in his eyes.

“Are you doing alright, Four?”

His heart skipped a beat. His eyes shot to look before he could stop them. Ballpoint Pen was staring at him, his brow furrowed and lips curved downwards. Concern. No, that wasn't right. He had to be lying. It had to be a trap. Four coiled up, his legs tensing, angled towards the door like a rabbit prepared to flee.

“I know this is a lot,” Ballpoint Pen’s voice softened, as if he sensed Four’s fear, “I did not want to call your father, but I was not sure what else to do. A hospital would have been… well, I’m sure you are aware.”

A pause, then he continued. “He was not cruel to you, was he?”

Four shifted in his seat and stared hard at the doorknob. Part of him wanted to say something, to plea and beg and yell and tell Ballpoint Pen about everything Cobs does. His mouth was glued shut, though. He knew what would happen to him, what would happen to both of them. He was already left wondering why Cobs had not gotten rid of the counselor the night before. Was it some kind of game? Some sick, twisted glory to take in his fear?

His silence was not pushed. Another soft sigh, and Ballpoint Pen was telling him to attend his classes well and take care of himself — that he was always there if Four needed anything. And as Four retreated from the office to begin yet another day of misery, he was left swallowing back tears and shaking like a leaf. What had he done?

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

10:23 AM

Four: GUESS WHOS BACK
Four: BACK AGAIN
Four: paper and oj saw me this morning and immediately jumped my ass

Nickel: damn and here i thought the sickness killed you
Nickel: we would've been free smh

Four: im a ghost right now actually
Four: i came back specifically to haunt you

Nickel: that's a little obsessive even for you

Four: WHAT THE FUCK

Suitcase: in so beyond exhausted i just slept through three different exams
Suitcase: wtf four you're back

Nickel: unfortunately

Suitcase: i hope you kill yourself

Four: 💃

Fan: guys
Fan: taco has been listening to the epic soundtrack on loop all day

Four: WHAT

Fan: im crying

Suitcase: we should see if the principal will let the drama club do an epic performance

Fan: id be very surprised considering there's not an official play to base it off of yet

Suitcase: 🧐

Nickel: the real question is who would play what character

Fan: i think id make a great telemachus personally

Four: ill be the infant child thrown off the cliff

Nickel: thank god

Suitcase: im crying
Suitcase: btw cabby waved at testy

Fan: WHAT

Nickel: a celebrity??? waving at testy???? of all people?????

Four: i lowkey forgot about that bit

Nickel: i didn't
Nickel: the past week has been full of it

Four: god damn what did i miss

Nickel: let's see

Fan: balloon and nickel are dating

Nickel: yeah

Four: WHAAAT

Fan: ballel

Nickel: also taco and mepad were holding hands a few days ago

Fan: yuri wins

Four: you die for a week and this is what happens

Fan: lightbulb and paintbrush might be going out soon too
Fan: but apple and marshmallow are having a rough time
Fan: testy has another science award this weekend

Four: jawdrop

Suitcase: goodnight

Nickel: rip your grades

12:14 AM

YinYang: yang and i are rereading warrior cats

Fan: hg
Fan: waca mention

Nickel: nerd

Fan: growls

YinYang: wow!

Fan: 🫵
Fan: what's your favourite cat so far

YinYang: huge fan of ravenpaw

Fan: yeah. not shocked

YinYang: YELLOWFANG

Fan: not shocked by that either

Mic: Peak opinions

Cheesy: haha get it peak-

Four: WHAT THE FUCK SINCE WHEN WERE YOU HERE

Mic: …

Fan: im crying

Mic: I was going to send an emoji of a tissue box but I guess I made it up because there isn't one

Fan: wait there's not???

Mic: Nope

Tissues: am i just a joke to you

Four: okay what the fuck

Mic: …

Nickel: guys
Nickel: my sim just dumped her girlfriend and married a rich dude she just met earlier that day and now they're having a baby

Fan: toxic yuri???? i guess??????

Mic: Why are you playing the sims when we're at school

Nickel: oh y'know

Four: i think the better question is HOW

Nickel: a magician never reveals his secrets

Four: okay! 😁

Chapter Text

[SERVER: winners love winning]

6:36 AM

Marshmallow: my face is so oily this morning im losing it

Suitcase: this is so real

Marshmallow: duuuude its because im starting my period are you serious

Suitcase: oh that's so fucked up

Bow: PERIOD TWINS

Mic: Are we all just on our period right now?

Suitcase: im not (for now)

Mic: Lucky

Taco: wow mic we're synced up

Mic: I'm also synced with Marshmallow and Bow, apparently

Marshmallow: is she aware?

Mic: ??

Taco: LMAO

Marshmallow: im crine

Lightbulb: HAI GUYS :4

Marshmallow: HII

Lightbulb: WHARS UP
Lightbulb: i miss baxter….

Marshmallow: tell me something i don't know

Lightbulb: snifful 💔

Taco: you miss your son? this is just like epi-

Marshmallow: hey. hey taco. hey guess what

Taco: ?

Marshmallow: 🏞️
Marshmallow: do you know what this is?

Taco: do you?

Mic: LMAK

Lightbulb: the girls are fightingnggggg

Bow: 🪑

Lightbulb: so true bow

Bow: :D

Taco: ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves 💃

Marshmallow: im gonna ban you

Taco: i’ll hack my way back in

Marshmallow: do you even know how to do that

Taco: … yes

Marshmallow: ok! then it wont be a problem :3

Marshmallow has banned Taco from the server.

Lightbulb: NOO 🥀

Paintbrush: wow this beef is going hard

Lightbulb: HI PAINTY

Paintbrush: hey
Paintbrush: she doesn't know how to hack her way back in does she

Marshmallow: nope

Paintbrush: ill unban and send an invite

Welcome, Taco!

Taco: 💔

Marshmallow: LMAOOO

Lightbulb: dp you guyd think iief boys have a gc for jus them too

Fan: they do
Fan: im in both #nonbinaryrizz

Lightbulb: waow!
Lightbulb: whar do they talk about

Fan: literally nothing
Fan: every so often someone sends a meme and gets a few emojis and then it dies

Marshmallow: average men

Fan: LMAO
Fan: would iief even be active without us women and nonbinaries

Marshmallow: i mean. probably but ill go with the bit and say no because we're awesome

Fan: i admire your commitment to the bit

Marshmallow: thank you 😁

1:57 PM

Suitcase: my back hurts so bad
Suitcase: i slept through all my classes again

Marshmallow: and what did we learn

Suitcase: stop being a hater 🥀

Marshmallow: idk what you mean im innocent :3

Suitcase: ok. shore.

[SERVER: anti-girls club]

3:00 AM

Paper: what is UP fellow AMERICANS 🦅🏈🇺🇸‼️

Nickel: icl ts pmo fr ong

Paper: 😨🤯😦🫨😧🫨😦🤒😨🥵😵🤒😨😣🤒😩🥶🥶🤠🫩🥸😦🤕😨😩😚😍😙😍🤩😚🤩😙😭😚🤩😗👻🌞👻🌛👻🌛😇🌛🤥🌜🤡🥸😩🤒😩🫨😫🥶😣🤯😩

Nickel: ok.

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

12:28 PM

Taco: it'll be a little bit dangerous, my friend 💃 you'll need a mindset change for this 💃

Fan: so true
Fan: i did actually talk to the drama club about an epic performance and they said they'd think about it

Taco: we're already planning roles now

Fan: really??
Fan: heh. my influence

Taco: i’m going to play penelope

Fan: im not shocked at all

Taco: lightbulb is playing hermes and paintbrush is playing eurylochus
Taco: who else do we have
Taco: knife is playing hephaestus

Fan: i should apply for telemachus

Taco: absolutely

Fan: whos playing antinous

Taco: we don't know yet
Taco: the school isn't super thrilled about his character at all

Fan: i wonder why

Taco: i know right. it is such a mystery

Mic: Are we talking about epic?

Taco: yes
Taco: and who the school is going to cast

Mic: 🤔

Nickel: they're probably just going to get rid of his character ngl
Nickel: didn't they entirely cut that one scene from the heathers play

Taco: yes.

Nickel: i sighed

Apple: someone brought an entire rotissoery chicken to school????

Nickel: an entire what now

Apple: SHUT UP I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPELL IT

Nickel: LMFAO

Fan: that would be me i fear

Apple: ?? SRS??

Fan: yeah im hungry

Nickel: how are you not getting flavour fatigue

Fan: im just better

Apple: LUNCH ENDED 30 MINUTES AGO

Fan: chicn 🤤

Nickel: jesus christ dawg

Fan: you guys are haters

Balloon: this is literally not true you and nickel were playing gta all night

Nickel: i love committing crimes

Balloon: are ypu cheating on me 🤔

Nickel: yeah

Fan: LMAO
Fan: we're secret lovers… we've been going out for years

Nickel: exactly

Balloon: what if i kms.

Nickel: good 😈

Apple: 🪦

Taco: what is going on.

Apple: the questions of the world

Fan: rotisserie chicken… 🤤

Nickel: share some with me

Fan: ok!

Nickel: hell yeah

Balloon: this is the worst friendship ever

Apple: i think the four horsemen are worse personally

Balloon: fan is part of them it still counts

Fan: :3

Nickel: dawg why is knife listening to devil doesn't bargain by alec benjamin on loop

Balloon: bully romance???

Fan: im crying oh my god

Taco: and just like before 💃 i can see you're sure you can change him 💃 but you won't 💃

Fan: the devil doesn't bargain 💃 he'll only break your heart again 💃 it isn't worth it darling 💃 he's never gonna change 💃

Taco: he'll never be prince charming 💃 he'll only do you harm again 💃

Nickel: ok guys it's not a musical episode calm down

Fan: i think you mean a musical chapter 🤓

Nickel: what.

Testy: Here we go again..

Fan: DTOP
Fan: i know this is just someone's fanfiction I KNOW TI im not INSANE

Nickel: ???

Testy: He kept me awake until 4 in the morning stressing about this

Fan: please 🙏🙏🙏🙏

Nickel: victorian orphans when lead

Suitcase: shut the actual fuck up that was the worst joke you've ever made ever

Nickel: wow you just hate me because im going to get a career in professional stand up comedy and you're not

Suitcase: im blocking you

Nickel: good riddance 🤓

Fan: the girls are fightingnggg

Nickel: growls

Suitcase: youre spending too much time with my brother

Nickel: your brother is obsessed with a certain blond bully jock

Suitcase: god dont get me started
Suitcase: and here i thought the obsession was one sided

Nickel: LMAO??
Nickel: i was joking but please spill the tea

Suitcase: goooodddddddd

Fan: i love being Aware

Nickel: how do you know everything

Fan: how do yoi say that and then doubt me when i say were in a fanfiction

Nickel: because you're also stupid

Fan: hey. :(

Suitcase: not only has he been listening to that song on loop for the past three days, but hes spent all of his time between classes ducking in between classrooms and bathrooms when he thinks im not looking

Fan: that's kind of funny actually

Suitcase: he literally walked home the other day when our mom offered to drive us so that he could “think about something”
Suitcase: and our mom was like. ohhh 😏 is it a boy you're thinking about 😏 because she knows he's gay as all hell
Suitcase: and he literally. flushes down to his neck. rolls his eyes and yanks his hood over his head then walks off without saying anything

Fan: and we all know it's not pickle anymore

Taco: ??

Fan: they dated for a few months last year but they broke up because it wasn't a good fit

Taco: how do you know this?

Fan: how do you not??

Balloon: THEY DATED?

Fan: was this not common knowledge

Suitcase: i mean i knew but im also knifes brother

Nickel: dawg i can't believe knife is actually in love with trophy now

Suitcase: its so baadddd 😭😭

Nickel: box is rubbing off on your typing

Suitcase: STOP
Suitcase: she is not im just being eccentric

Nickel: ok buddy

Fan: i pull my shirt on 💃 walk out the door 💃 drag my feet along the floor 💃 then i see you, youre walkin across the campus 💃 cruel professor, studying romances

Taco: thank you fan

Fan: 😁

Chapter Text

9:12 PM

Marshmallow: i have been on my period for two weeks now.

Paper: i feel like every time i open this chat you're talking about your period

Marshmallow: god forbid a woman suffer

Suitcase: don't you know? men suffer more

Marshmallow: good

Suitcase: 🤝

Marshmallow: 🤝

Fan: ballel nation win theyre holding hands in class

Marshmallow: EEWWW

Suitcase: ew

Fan: wow we've got some ballel haters here

Nickel: stop fucking calling it ballel i hate you

Lightbulb: guh

Fan: LIGHTY

Lightbulb: FAM

Suitcase: don't you go forgetting my favourite letters….. ILY

Lightbulb: sandjrts sides d 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Suitcase: sanders sides 😭😭😭😭😭

Paper: are you guys being insane again

Lightbulb: nooooooo :4

Paper: i don't believe you

Suitcase: you're one to talk

Paper: hey.

Fan: why is the hand on the salute emoji so huge
Fan: 🫡
Fan: look

Nickel: what is wrong with you

Fan: what is wrong with YOU

2:37 AM

Fan: i just bolted awake in a puddle of sweat because i dreamt that yesterdays conversation inspired a slew of comments about how me and nickel are friends now
Fan: clears throat.
Fan: “"Balloon: are ypu cheating on me 🤔
Nickel: yes"
I hate them they're so stupid /pos Balloon texts like an old man half the time, so real actually.”

Nickel: genuinely what is wrong with you do you need to be admitted somewhere

Fan: I PROMISE IM NOT INSANE
Fan: we are in a fanfiction.

Balloon: WTF DO YOU MEAN I TYPE LIKE AN OLD MAN COME ON

Nickel: i mean
Nickel: if you had a little more capitalization and punctuation then yeah

Balloon: I HATE YOU

Fan: ballel divorce arc
Fan: im checking the school confession tumblr rn wish me luck

Balloon: im very afraid

Nickel: im not what's the worst that could be said

Fan: “K-KITTEN??? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?? I THOUGHT WE WERE 4LIFERS!! 🤬🤬 WE WATCHED SKIBIDI TOILET TOGETHER, SAND THE SONG, DRANK GRIMACE SHAKES TOGETHER, ETC!! 🔪🔪 THIS IS NOT FUNNY!! 👿👿👿 alpha scratches you and you die W-WAIT, NO KITTEN!! I DIDNT MEAN TO! WAKE UP!! PLEASE!! NO!!!! MY OHIO LEVEL THREE GYAT ONE 6eTWO BUCKLE MY SHOE KITTEN!! NOOOOOOOOO!! IM SO SORRY!!!! WAKE UP, PLEASE!! ⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️⛓️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤👿👿👿👿👿👿🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 i-i must go... i hurt my kitten, the one i swore to protect no matter the cost. i'm so sorry kitten. daddy loves you. 🖤 ← this is how i imagine trophy tropheus talks to knife knifson the fourth”

Nickel: i fucking hate myself

Fan: what are these last names im crying

Knife: That is
Knife: Actually my last name

Fan: …

Nickel: …

Balloon: WHAAAAT 😭😭

Nickel: im going back to sleep after that one dawg

Fan: im losing my mind

Chapter Text

[DMs: Lightbulb, Marshmallow]

6:26 PM

Lightbulb: so

Marshmallow: so?

Lightbulb: whars going on with you and apple

Marshmallow: its nothing, why do you ask?

Lightbulb: you guys havent been talking for likr a week and you used to be all over wach other

Marshmallow: yeah that was the problem
Marshmallow: she couldnt leave me alone for 5 minutes and so i told her we need a break

Lightbulb: hm 🧐
Lightbulb: does she know how younfeel?

Marshmallow: i told her

Lightbulb: when?

Marshmallow: the same time i told her i needed a break

Lightbulb: ypu shouldnt let important things fester in relationships
Lightbulb: communication is important

Marshmallow: i know
Marshmallow: she just seemed so happy to hang out with me it was hard to crush that
Marshmallow: and she's never had a girlfriend before either

Lightbulb: but you need space anf thats okay
Lightbulb: theres ways to accommodate both of your needs
Lightbulb: spend time with her but also encourage her to have a life outside of you, and practice having a life outside her
Lightbulb: spend time with other friends, watch separate tv shows, maybr dont be on call as much or spend less sleepovers

Marshmallow: you're right

Lightbulb: check up on each other tell her you love her and respect her space whilr requesting she respect yours
Lightbulb: you ahould talk to her soon

Marshmallow: thank you lightbulb that really helps

Lightbulb: :4 🦀

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

6:30 PM

Nickel: its so fucking cold in my room dawg im under three blankets wearing a hoodie and sweats and socks and gloves with two space heaters on my ass

Lightbulb: icicle

Nickel: how i feel rn

Fan: cabby just walked down my street

Lightbulb: omga
Lightbulb: the celebrity herself

Fan: how lucky i am to breathe the same air

Nickel: dawg

Fan: stop being a hater

Lightbulb: yeah nickl 🥀🦀

Paintbrush: yeah nickel

Suitcase: yeah nickel

Nickel: ok damn you guys got paintbrush back from the void for that one and everything

Paintbrush: my bad. i was locked the fuck in

Nickel: on what dawg

Paintbrush: …
Paintbrush: minecraft.

Nickel: oh shit i haven't logged in in a hot minute

Fan: in in

Nickel: die

Fan: okay! 😁

Lightbulb: NOOOOOOO

Paintbrush: don't die how will you marry testy

Fan: wait you're right
Fan: nvm im back

Paintbrush: i thought so

Four: MY PHONE IS REFUSING TO CHARGE HELP MEEEE
Four: i brought my chromebook home to do “homework” this is how im talking to everyone

Nickel: i hope that breaks too

Four: WHAT THE FUCK
Four: do you want my dad to kill me

Nickel: yeah i actually dream about it every night

Paintbrush: this is why you have no friends

Nickel: this is not true

Paintbrush: 🫡

Nickel: dawg i have the same amount of friends as you

Paintbrush: i don't believe that

Lightbulb: wgo wants a list of all of my allergies

Paintbrush: i already know them all

Fan: same

Four: i do im curious

Lightbulb: ok!1
Lightbulb: be warmed theres likr no similarities (i havnt been to an allergist(

Four: i cant wait

Nickel: im going to use this information to poison you

Paintbrush: can you die instead

Lightbulb: strawberries. pineapples (probably kiwis bur i hate kiwi). adhesive specificallu on bandages. scented soaps. febreez. most colognes and perfumes. chocoalte (specifically hersheys. mars brand is ok). blueberries?? its on my list bur i dont remember being allergic to it i also dont like blueberries. artificial mint. garlic.

Paintbrush: you can't have strawberries this is so fucked up

Lightbulb: I KNWO 💔
Lightbulb: i almost put the coral emoji instrwad

Nickel: literally how

Four: allergic to garlic
Four: are you a vampire

Lightbulb: 🧛‍♂️

Four: AAHHH AHHHH AAAAHHHHHH

YinYang: hello
YinYang: my screen time rivals a facebook mom
YinYang: goodbye

Lightbulb: facbok

Nickel: dawg

Four: this is kind of real im always on my phone
Four: except for when im on a laggy ass chromebook that almost crashed when yin started typing

Nickel: LMFAO

Paintbrush: can it crash whenever nickel starts typing instead

Nickel: dawg i breathed

Paintbrush: unfortunately

Suitcase: 🤝

Nickel: wtf why am i such a victim

OJ: I've come with an update
OJ: Silver is still listening to Brainwashed

Nickel: ew

Candle: He's so cute

Paintbrush: jesus christ jumpscare warning next time

Nickel: i threw up in my mouth a little

Paintbrush: i hate straight couples
Paintbrush: wait
Paintbrush: are they even a straight couple

Nickel: is it a straight couple if they're both a little queer

Fan: yes and no it depends on how you look at it
Fan: gender-wise if both are completely cis then id say yes technically?? because its a man and a woman
Fan: but it ultimately depends on the preferences of the people and whether they want to be referred to as a straight or queer couple. and even then that doesnt erase the fact that theyre queer, theyre still allowed in queer spaces theyre just a man and woman dating

Nickel: 🤔
Nickel: so if lightbulb were to date a man

Lightbulb: WHU ME I HATR MEN

Nickel: LMFAO
Nickel: i understand i just wanted to say that

Lightbulb: grrrr

Nickel: ok buddy

[DMs: Lightbulb, Apple]

8:59 PM

Lightbulb: so

Apple: HI

Lightbulb: HI
Lightbulb: whars going on with you and marshmallow

Apple: wdym?

Lightbulb: i want to help if thats okay

Apple: OH
Apple: idk she just kind of told me im too clingy and she needs a break from it

Lightbulb: do you think youre too clingy?

Apple: i dont know
Apple: maybe
Apple: i like her a lot and i want to spend time with her but i guess i can see how its too much

Lightbulb: whu dont you try doing things that dont involve her sometimes?
Lightbulb: likr you can draw or play video games or watch a tv show she wouldnt really be interested in but you are

Apple: i guess thats true

Lightbulb: some people nred more space in relationships and thats okay, it doesnt mean youre doing anything wrong and it doesnt mean she doesnt like you

Apple: ill try
Apple: thank you lightbulb

Lightbulb: :4 🦀

Chapter Text

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

12:17 PM

Four: im hanging out with nickel balloon suitcase and baseball i feel like some kind of stray along for the ride

Paintbrush: how are you already out doing things i barely just woke up

Four: im locked in
Four: also i figured out wht my phone wasnt charging
Four: the charger block broke

Fan: charger block? like. like

Four: no

Fan: okay!

Paintbrush: im so fucking tired im going back to sleep

Fan: goodnight pb :]

Paintbrush: night fan

Taco: take me to church by hozier

Fan: true

Taco: i should make out with mepad to that song

bloody mary: What!

Taco: i forgot you were here.

Fan: why is she still bloody mary

Taco: i have no idea

Four: suitcase and nickel just started throwing things at each other
Four: nickel threw a fucking paper towel roll why do they even have this in the car

Taco: i am a little surprised that you have a space to sit in the car

Four: baseball sat me in the front seat and made the other three squeeze together in the back seats
Four: its one of those cars with a special miniature middle seat

Nickel: and im in the middle

Four: this is true

Taco: a throne worthy of a king

Nickel: dawg more like a medieval torture method

Taco: you will be ok ♥️

Four: IM CRYING

Fan: taco you're funny as fuck we should kiss

Taco: the face i just made

Nickel: dawg

Fan: my bad ill kill myself

Marshmallow: good morning i was up until four am

Taco: why

Marshmallow: why not

Taco: understandable have a wonderful day

Marshmallow: thank you!

Four: kinda real i stayed up ridiculously late too

Marshmallow: im literally exhausted

Fan: @Knife did you know $20 got stolen from you

Knife: What.

Fan: yeah someone submitted it on the confession blog

Knife: Who?

Fan: it was submitted anonymously

Taco: it was me.

Knife: No it wasn't

Taco: no it wasn't

Fan: also people have noticed mepads delicate obsession

Taco: she's so cute

bloody mary: 😶‍🌫️

Taco: thank you mepad

bloody mary: Anytime!

Fan: wait
Fan: you guys need to see this @Taco @Mic
Fan: “for real tho, I really don’t like taco x microphone. I try quite hard to be indifferent on the “no thanks!” Side of things, cuz I try not to let my headcanons get too involved in others enjoyment. But alas… Taco and Mic are mother and daughter to me. No, it’s not a good familial relationship but ones in ii rarely are, huh? It’s kinda crazy to me i’m the only one who sees that (or one of the silent few), but i guess it’s lowk also cuz to me in my heart of hearts, Taco is a woman pushing her 30s and Mic??? That’s an impressionable kid! Beginning of the series, Mic is 14, 16 MAX. With that mindset of course i’m gonna see those two and go wow! Mommy issues we love to see it! (This does not reflect my own relationship with my mother) it does suck for such a popular ship to be familial in my eyes, but I block the tag and move on. I do try to indoctrinate people when I can though”

Taco: what the fuck

Mic: ?????????????????????
Mic: Since when was I an impressionable child

Taco: since when was i a woman pushing her 30s i am literally a high schooler

Marshmallow: this is actually kind of crazy

Nickel: dawg what

Four: IM SORRY?
Four: anyway ive got baseball hooked on white girl music now

Nickel: i hate you

Four: no you dont

Nickel: watch it buddy

Taco: i am going to publicly make out with microphone in front of the entire school solely so this person knows that we're not a mother-daughter duo

Mic: ????$(&($(//
Mic: WHAT

Taco: there is something deeply wrong with me today

Mic: I see that

Taco: hey.

Fan: tacos very yuriful today

Taco: women 🤤
Taco: and half woman half man like mepad

bloody mary: Just call me a woman. Its close enough to the truth.

Taco: ok ♥️
Taco: women 🤤

bloody mary: On that note, I actually had somebody think I was a straight, cis male yesterday.

Four: ew
Four: i raised you better than that smh

bloody mary: You did not raise me at all, Four.

Four: shhhh

Fan: literally how did they think that though
Fan: no offense mepad but youre very openly a raging queer

bloody mary: I know. And none taken.
bloody mary: My relationship with gender has always been incredibly complicated — toxic, if you will. I may as well make it as complicated for others to perceive it as it is for me to.

Taco: speak your truth

Fan: you got the raging lesbian (taco) to ask you out so like
Fan: i think that's a win

bloody mary: True.

Four: gross

bloody mary: OJ and Paper.

Four: .
Four: hey thats not fair

bloody mary: :)

Taco: did she immediately go offline

Four: she hates me

Fan: she does not

Nickel: i support four hatred

Suitcase: i support nickel hatred

Nickel: hey.

Fan: im going to rewatch love of the s*n

Nickel: nobodys surprised

Fan: sniffles

Lightbulb: WAIT FOR ME I WANMA WATCH TOO

Fan: okay!! :]

Lightbulb: im sprintig

Four: OH WE'VE FINALLY ARRIVED goodbye chat ill be taken by the void

Marshmallow: ?
Marshmallow: i just woke up again. what

Taco: you were sleeping for a total of five minutes

Marshmallow: im sleeping for more now gn

Taco: sleep terribly ♥️

Chapter Text

5:35 PM

Nickel: just sat through an hour and a half long assembly about how pda in school is inappropriate and that we shouldn't kiss each other on school grounds

Taco: that would be my fault.

Nickel: dawg
Nickel: what did you even do

Taco: kissed mic in the cafeteria

Nickel: ok so i actually hate people in love right now

Balloon: 💔

Nickel: we don't count we're better than everyone else

Fan: 🧐

Nickel: die

Fan: okay!

Taco: wow

Bow: good morn iief 😼

Marshmallow: BOWWW

Apple: BOWWWWW :3:3:3:3

Bow: MARSHHH APPLEEE
Bow: 💺

Taco: the chair emoji has evolved

Bow: 🪑

Lightbulb: guh

Bow: guh

Fan: guh

Nickel: dawg
Nickel: stop ignoring my gta invite get online

Fan: okay! :]

Balloon: here we go again smh

10:19 PM

Nickel: we locked the fuck in dawg fans a multi millionaire now

The sound of Fan’s game drowned into the background. His headphones clattered to the ground, startling his cat into leaping from where she was sleeping directly on top of his pillow. She hissed, tail bushed, and darted into the shadows of his closet. Fan didn't notice.

Something was deeply wrong.

Fan’s chest tightened, restricted like a hungry snake had wrapped around his lungs in preparation of a delicious meal. His hands trembled from where they clutched onto his console controller. He couldn't quite see straight, even through his brand-new glasses subscription with even thicker lenses than before. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear Nickel’s concern floating from his headphones to his ears.

A single click of a button on the controller shut down his console, and he lunged for his phone like it would kill him otherwise. His fingers unsteadily punched in Test Tube’s number, as if driven entirely by instinct. The world around him wavered and shook and he felt nauseous like never before. Everything ached down to the bone and further.

“Fan?” Test Tube’s voice picked up on the other end, groggy and exhausted.

Fan inhaled sharply and held the phone to his ear with both hands. Why had he even called Test Tube? It was late and she had a lot of work the next day. There was no reason for him to get in her way like this.

His panic must have picked up somehow, because Test Tube sounded a lot more alert, “Fan, breathe. You’re safe. I’m here.”

Her words — or perhaps it was the tone she spoke them in, as if Fan was the single most important thing to her — soothed some of the storm raging in his heart. He leaned back in his bed, stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling that had been there since he was ten, and inhaled as slowly and as deeply as he could. But there was still something terribly wrong, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Something that raised the hairs on the back of his neck and along his arms.

Before he could stop and think, he was standing up and shoving his bare feet into worn-down, old sneakers. His voice came out steadier and more calm than he had felt in years. “We need to visit Four. Now.”

“... Okay.”

Test Tube’s compliance came as a surprise, though not an unwelcome one. Fan stumbled his way through the hallway, snatched up his bag and barely remembered to lock the front door behind him. Silently, all without shifting the phone from his ear, he prayed that he did not wake his mom up. He really, truly did not want to deal with her concern, nor her questions on where he was going so late at night.

It didn't take long for Test Tube’s car to pull into his driveway. Only then did he hang up to fumble his way into her passenger seat and buckle himself in. She looked at him quietly, concern wrinkling the corners of her eyes and deepening her frown. He picked at the hem of his shirt stubbornly. She must have gotten the message, because she sighed softly through her nose and began to back out of his driveway.

The drive was silent. Fan rested his head on the shoulder of the seat and stared out of the window. Trees, bushes and the occasional bright yellow street lamp passed by in blurs as Test Tube hurried for their destination. At some point, the radio had been turned on and adjusted to some late-night news channel discussing recent price changes with gas and groceries. Fan didn't pay much attention to it; he never did.

“Fan,” Test Tube’s voice stirred his thoughts and he rolled his head to the side to look at her, “Do you know why we're going to Four’s house at 10-o-clock at night?”

Fan shook his head.

A pause, then another soft sigh. Fan’s skin prickled. “You have always had an attunement to the world around you — something that even I cannot compete with. I just… I hope that whatever we find there isn't too terrible.”

Fan didn't say anything back but quietly, he hoped so too. Something wasn't right with Four’s family — something that went deeper than the jokes Four would crack. Something in the way that Four carried himself; the way that he avoided water like the plague, the way that he, MePad, and his roommates’ physical conditions never quite changed. They never bruised when they fell over, never consumed enough food to survive — with the exception of Four himself, of course — and, oh, don't even get him started on how they only blinked or breathed when they knew someone was looking.

The amount of time Fan spend staring at them through the corner of his eyes to figure that one out…

MePad himself was an enigma, something that Fan could never quite figure out. He was uncanny.

The smiles he made that never reached his eyes, the worry that never wrinkled his skin, the blankness in his pupils that was only slightly broken by Taco’s presence. Fan squinted out the window, his thoughts racing a million miles per hour. He was never one to leap to conclusions, but the more he thought about it; the more dots that connected and the more points he realized…

Fan chewed at the knuckle of his index as Test Tube pulled her car into a stop outside of Four’s house. The mansion sat proudly on a hill-top beside countless trees, and only an iron fence that stretched as far as the eye could see stood between Fan and Four. Cobs’ security was tight, though that was only to be expected. He must have gotten all kinds of strange people on his ground. Not only were there cameras scattered every few feet, but the fence was topped with sharp wires tangled together in a deadly contraption.

… Surely there were no repercussions to what they were doing, right? Fan shifted in his seat. He could sneak by the cameras undetected somehow and figure out the root of the anxiety swirling deep within. He chewed a little harder at his knuckles, stared at the cameras through the car window, and contemplated asking Test Tube to just turn around and head back home.

“They’re motion detected,” Test Tube said, right before Fan caved to his contemplation. “The cameras. Hang on, stay right there.”

He almost protested, but ultimately just watched as she got out of the car and crouched behind it. For a heartbeat too long, she remained out of sight, up until a soft clatter sounded and she shot up. Fan’s head whipped around. The cameras were narrowed in on a pebble wedged between the wires atop the fence. Fan blinked. Even when the pebble was still, the cameras were unmoving.

Did they require Cobs to clear whatever alert must have played? If so, why hadn't he done so yet? Surely that was the opposite of helpful, if they remained on one alert the entire night. Did he get any sleep at all?

Test Tube beckoned for him. His thoughts halted and he scrambled out of the car to her side. Her eyes were bright, gleaming with energy like they only really tended to do when she had a puzzle to solve. Fan resisted the urge to stare admiringly at her, and instead examined the fence standing between him and the answers he needed.

“We still can't scale the fence,” Fan pointed out, “the wires at the top will shred us and I’m sure it's an electric fence, anyway.”

Test Tube’s smile brightened. “I’m one step ahead of you. Look all the way down there.”

Fan’s gaze followed where she was pointing, to the very edge of the mansion’s yard. He had to squint to understand that the many trees were to their advantage. One of them had branches extending further than he could see, as if guarding a path for people like him and Test Tube. He spun on his heel and hugged her so tightly that she made a noise similar to a balloon being popped.

“Fan,” she laughed, gently pushing at his shoulders until he let go. “Thank you, but I’m not the one who planted the tree.”

Fan sniffed and rested his hands firmly on his hips, mimicking the way Paintbrush often scolded him. “God forbid,” he began, “I support you and your wisdom.”

Test Tube snorted with laughter, and— oh, the way she looked at him. His cheeks burned and he dropped his hands from his hips in favour of marching off towards the tree. A terrible but desperate attempt to conceal his heart hammering in his chest and the way that he wanted to kiss her like his life depended on it. In the worst possible location, too.

The tree towered above them like a menacing security officer, its branches suddenly large and daunting and its leaves eerily still. Fan chewed at his lip and stared up at it, Test Tube at his side. Suddenly, he wished that he had at least put on socks to close the gap between his shoes and skin. If he was truly dedicated to this mission, he would likely end up with blisters on his heel and sore toes. He sighed softly through his nose.

The trip over the tree and around the mansion, peering into every window, had Fan and Test Tube panting like they’d ran a marathon. Fan’s legs trembled by the time he reached the window he had been looking for. A light glared out from behind the loosely closed blinds inside, intense enough that Fan had to squint against it. He silently glanced at Test Tube; and together, the two of them pressed closely to the ground and snuck up until they could peer through the blinds.

Fan’s heart skipped a beat.

Four was in the room, but something wasn't quite right. He had his head leaning back on what looked like a chair that you would find in a dental office, and.. wires? Yes, there were wires stretching from his face to a large computer screen in the corner. Fan shifted to try and see what was on the screen, but he couldn't get the right angle. His heart raced in his chest — something was wrong, something was very, very wrong.

The door to the room swung open, and in walked Cobs himself. Fan resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose in disgust, and from the corner of his eyes, he noted how Test Tube did the exact same thing. She glanced at him but neither of them said anything. Fan was too invested in what was about to happen to even think of anything to say. What could he have said?

The world seemed to spin unsteadily around them. Fan could scarcely breathe. Cobs had fully taken off Four’s face. Nothing but cold, black metal and colourful wires lacing each vital function sat behind it. Nausea rose in Fan’s throat like a tidal wave and, before he knew it, he was a foot away, emptying the contents of his stomach into an unfortunate bush. His hands and legs trembled from where they held him up, and his mind swam.

A hand on his shoulder. Fan tried to look up, but his body didn't listen to him. Test Tube sounded like she was miles away, speaking to him while he was underwater. He couldn't even piece together what she was telling him. Was it important, or was it just soft reassurance?

Cobs took Four apart. He could be taken apart. What even was Four? Was he human? No… He couldn't be.

No human looked like that.

Fan stood up. The ground lurched beneath him, but he persisted stubbornly. He reached down and grabbed Test Tube by the wrist, and then they were sprinting down the hill. He could barely see what was in front of him, could barely feel Test Tube’s arm in his grasp. He felt like a prey animal sprinting from an unseen danger, a ridiculous fear pumping adrenaline through his veins.

He just needed to get home so he could think about what was happening.

Chapter Text

The rest of the night was as terrible as one would expect. Test Tube drove in silence with only her rapid breathing and the occasional shift of Fan’s weight for company. She dropped him off at his house and watched him stumble through the door, unsteady like a newborn foal. Only when his bedroom window lit up and the blinds closed tightly, did she kick her car into drive and make her way back home.

Her house was silent, as she expected it to be. She clutched her keys close to her chest and snuck past her sister’s wide-open door. Their dog’s eyes glinted slightly as he raised his head from the foot of her bed and stared at Test Tube, tail wagging softly, until she was no longer in sight. Her chest ached.

All of a sudden, she longed for the stabilizing presence of Paintbrush and the lightheartedness of Lightbulb. But they were surely long since asleep — what was she meant to do?

Her bed squeaked as she sat down heavily, and her keys clattered to the floor. She didn't even look at them, in favour of burying her head in her hands. Her fingers trembled against her forehead, and the world around her shook like a deadly earthquake had just struck. Aftershocks rattled her bones and stung her eyes, and before she knew it, tears streamed down her cheeks and she was choking back her sobs with effort.

Every time she closed her eyes, she saw it. Four’s eyes, dull and lifeless, a deep colour so starkly different its typical bright blue. The solid metal that made up his face, the sharpness of his cheeks and the vibrant wires tangling together various systems. She had taken enough engineering and robotics classes to recognize what was happening.

Worst of all, the silicone hanging limply in Cobs’ hands; the wires that strung Four to the computer in the corner, the way he sat so still, so stiffly clenching his fists as if it would save him from his fate. It burnt into her, every minor detail of a gruesome painting. She would never escape the sight, and she knew Fan well enough to understand that he wouldn't either.

Her back ached as she hunched over herself, but it was nothing compared to the mental anguish. The look on Cobs’ face — she never would have been able to survive if her father looked at her like that. Like she was a mere object, a worthless… thing.

“... Testy?”

Her head shot up. Through the darkness that blanketed her room, she could see her sister standing there. Their dog stood at her side, his tail wagging slowly and cautiously. Test Tube sniffled and wiped at her cheeks, as if it would conceal the way that her breath shook and caught in her throat. Their dog waddled over to her and shoved his head into her lap. She tried to smile at him.

“Petri,” she breathed, looking back at her sister, “I’m sorry. I am okay, alright? Just go back to bed.”

Petri looked at her silently, her eyes narrowed to disbelieving slits. Before Test Tube could say anything more, she rushed across the room and wrapped her arms around Test Tube so tightly that she could scarcely inhale. She laughed a little, caught off guard, but hugged her sister back with aching arms and a heavy heart. Petri was way too young to understand what was wrong; and even if she wasn't, there was no way that Test Tube could tell anybody.

“Goodnight,” Petri whispered as she pulled away.

For a moment, they locked eyes. Test Tube wanted nothing more than to confess everything to somebody that wouldn't dare call her crazy, but she kept her mouth shut tightly. Another forced smile that she managed only to convince Petri that everything was okay, and then it was only her and their dog. He blinked up at her, then sat down quietly.

Gently, she scratched behind his ear. His tail thumped on the floor. “What am I going to do, Bunsen?” She murmured, as if he could provide her with an answer.

The next morning was quiet. Test Tube rolled over and buried her head in the only pillow of hers that wasn't wet with tears, and groaned with dread for the upcoming school day. Her phone buzzed with an alarm where it sat on her nightstand and, with much effort, she reached up to shut it off. It was only around eight in the morning, and she had an entire hour to get ready — thanks to her grades and age, she started school later than the rest of her peers.

A privilege that she was typically incredibly grateful for, but now was disturbed by. She wanted to call Fan and hear his voice as she got ready, but she knew from practice that he was busy in class. Lightbulb kept her phone muted when she didn't forget it at home, and Paintbrush was most definitely sleeping their first class away. As such, she would remain solitary.

The hardwood flooring was cold against her bare feet. Test Tube sighed to herself and wondered why her parents never cranked the air conditioning down when they woke up. Their windows were still littered with frost; there was zero reason to have any kind of air conditioning blasted during the day. But alas, she was left to freeze.

It didn't take long for her to scour her closet for a presentable outfit and then prepare a filling breakfast for herself. She barely remembered to feed Bunsen and set chicken to thaw as she'd been asked the day prior before she stumbled out the door, bag over her shoulder and keys in her hand. He stared at her through the window as she locked the front door and made her way down to the driveway, where her car was parked and ready for her.

And then finally, she sat alone in the driver’s seat, suddenly struck with gut-wrenching dismay. She would have to see Four today, and likely speak to him. He would think something was wrong if she didn't at least greet him in their shared lunch period, and she didn't really want to tell him that she knew his secret. Although there was a small possibility that Fan had already done so…

She shook her head, a measly attempt to clear her thoughts, and started her car. It rumbled to life with only some minor complaints about its maintenance being due and her seatbelt not yet being on, the latter of which she swiftly resolved. The other complaint would have to wait until she could get her parents to call their nearest auto-shop, and she had a future unpleasant interaction at school to worry about.

The drive was quiet. Everything was quiet except for her mind. The schoolyard was empty as she drove in and parked in her designated spot. The front office barely spared her a glance, and her teacher wasn't quite in the classroom yet when she squeezed through the door and settled among her peers. Although some students still chatted in the back, it was still far too early for excitable activity and restlessness. That was typically reserved for the last few periods of the day.

Gods, what was she meant to do? How was she meant to face Fan later that day — let alone Four himself?

Chapter Text

The morning started about as awfully as it could have. Four jolted awake in his bed, his ears ringing like they'd been shot. It took him a second to realize that the source of such sensation was the noise outside of his door. The unmistakable pounding of furious footsteps, the thunderous raging voice that tore through the halls of his home like shockwaves. Slowly, as if to remain unnoticed, Four collapsed back downwards and glowered at the ceiling.

Of course. Cobs was angry again. When wasn't he?

He sucked a sharp breath in between his teeth. He wanted to roll over and attempt to fall back asleep, but every time his heavy eyelids fluttered, Cobs’ voice startled him back awake. It was impossible to tell what he was even talking about through the door and the ringing in Four’s ears. All he could do was pray to whoever would listen that it would merely pass, and that it wasn't somehow his fault.

The Gods laughed in his face. His door swung open and hit the opposite wall so hard it rattled. Four was out of his bed before he even realized it, standing stiffly with his fists curled. There Cobs stood, at his doorway, the nastiest scowl decorating his face in misery. Absently, wryly, Four wondered if his father had ever been happy a day in his life. It must have been a depressing life to be so furious all of the time. He really, truly did not understand it.

Cobs’ hand raised slightly. Four’s face twitched and his neck tensed in preparation for the hurt that he knew was about to rock into him. “Where is 4s?” Cobs demanded, the venom in his voice sending ice down Four’s spine.

He blinked rapidly. “I don't know,” he managed, brow furrowed, “I just woke up, not more than five minutes ago. Why?”

Cobs sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperated. Four swallowed nervously and kept his gaze locked on his hands, as if they were some kind of deadly weapon. Agitation rolled up his spine and bristled the hair at the nape of his neck. Why couldn't he have a second of peace? Why couldn't Cobs leave him alone for two seconds? And why did everything have to be his problem? He just wanted one day. One day of silence, one day of peace.

“Because he's not in his room,” Cobs said, slowly, dryly, as if it were obvious. Four wanted to scream. “You should have been up an hour ago. Your bus will be here in five minutes.”

Four clenched his jaw, ground his teeth together, and—

“Don’t talk to me like that!” He snapped, loudly enough to make his own ears ache. “I’m not five.”

Oh. He shouldn't have said anything.

It happened too quickly for Four to do anything. Cobs practically roared with rage. His footsteps shook the floor below him as he crossed the few feet between him and Four and, just as Four was about to back up and defend himself, his hand became a blur. Four’s head snapped to the side so swiftly that his neck cracked, but it was nothing compared to the sting on his cheek. It felt like he'd been stung by a scorpion, or a hornet, or— something venomous and evil.

Wetness pricked at the corners of his eyes that he desperately blinked away. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe, and he was going to die here, all because he couldn't keep his mouth shut for two seconds. Pain shot up his knees as he crumpled to the ground. Weakness pulsed through his limbs and, even as they trembled, kept him curled up on the ground. Maybe if he was small enough, it would all disappear.

Cobs scoffed and stared down at him with what was surely disgust. Four curled up a little tighter, buried his head between his arms, and trembled. His breath came in soft, wet gasps that he tried desperately to muffle. He was pathetic. All it took was a single slap, and he was on the ground. How was he supposed to do anything like this? How was he supposed to succeed like Cobs wanted him to, if such a simple action took him out?

“ You do not speak to me like that, do you understand?” Cobs snarled down at him, his lip curled to bare his teeth. “I brought you into this world, made you with my bare hands alone, and I can take you out of it at any point.”

Four trembled, whimpered, and brought his knees tucked beneath his chin. Cobs nudged his shoulder with the heel of his boot, and he bit back a protest — or a plea… He wasn't quite sure anymore.

“Yes, sir,” Four whispered, swallowing back his tears. “I’m sorry.”

“What was that?”

His eyes squeezed shut. “Yes, sir,” he repeated, louder, shakier, “I’m sorry.”

Silence, for a second. Four’s muscles locked. Was he going to get hit again? Was his submission not enough? His mind spun, fogged, and spun harder. He knew very well that Cobs could have programmed him in such a way that he would have no choice but to obey, and even enjoy it, so why did he choose this? What had Four ever done to him to deserve this? What kind of sins had he committed before he was even created?

“Good,” Cobs sighed. “That’s what I thought. Now, where is 4s?”

Somebody cleared their throat at the door. Four didn't need to look up to understand that it was MePad. He kept his eyes shut tightly enough that he was beginning to see colourful swirls against his eyelids. But MePad had a way with his words, some kind of trick that would ease even Cobs’ temper. Not completely rid of it, of course; but if Cobs was patient enough to listen to her for once, then it would become something valuable.

“He left early,” MePad explained, her voice as steady as ever. “He did not wish to ride the bus, so he took his bike to school. You were still fast asleep. He did not wake you because of that.”

Another beat of silence, then more footsteps. Cobs shoved past MePad without a word, but she stayed. Of course she did; she always stayed. It wasn't until those wretched footsteps completely faded into silence that Four dared to raise his head off of the ground and look at her. MePad met his gaze with concern, his brow furrowed and his frown distinct.

“You should get ready, Four,” she said softly, “the bus will be here very soon.”

Unfortunately for Four, he could not quite shake off the feeling of dread by the time he got on the bus. He followed MePad to the back, until she paused to let him squeeze into his seat. He slumped against the window as MePad settled down, and then the bus was moving forward with a lurch and a hum. His head bounced against the glass, sending a dull pounding through his skull, but it was soothing compared to the storm in his chest and so he kept his head there.

“You will bruise,” MePad warned, though he did nothing to stop him.

Four sighed through his nose, said nothing, and glared at the lines on the road flitting by swiftly. MePad seemed to sense that he wanted to be left alone, as she very swiftly got sidetracked by staring at something in the front of the bus — or rather, someone. Four knew very well who rode the bus with them, and it was not Knife that MePad would stare at.

With a pang deep in his chest, Four thought about OJ and Paper. He couldn't do this to them. He couldn't make them deal with all of himself. His thoughts trailed, raced, and trailed some more; up until MePad took a chance with the bus pausing, rose to her feet, and darted from Four’s seat to Taco’s. He glanced back only to smile softly at Four, which he returned with a heavy eye roll.

No, he couldn't do this. Four shoved his hands into his pockets and ran his thumb over his phone case. He would have to talk to OJ and Paper later.

They arrived at school seemingly quicker than they did every other day. As Four followed the string of students, he eyed MePad and Taco, walking together with their fingers entwined, and an ache of… something unpleasant stirred in his chest like a beast rising from its slumber. MePad didn't realize how lucky she was. Cobs scarcely looked at her. He never had to deal with being stuck to a chair, helpless and agonized as his insides were picked through as if a hungry vulture had realized he was simply a carcass.

Four shut his eyes, inhaled deeply through his nose, and dug his fingernails into his palms until it hurt too badly to keep doing so. How was he even meant to navigate the rest of the day, let alone the rest of his life?

The realization hit him like a truck.

He would never be free if Cobs could help it. He could graduate like 4s was going to, but he wasn't the staple student made to boost the family’s public view. Cobs would hover over him for the rest of his life, and there was nothing that he could do to wriggle free of his talons. Even if he was allowed to go to college, well…

He'd never be allowed to move out.

…

He was being stared at. Four’s head whipped around, only to meet the gaze of Fan from across the parking lot. He was staring hard at Four with his eyebrows tight and his shoulders drawn to his chin. As soon as he realized he'd been caught, his head whipped to the side, where he began talking to Nickel while animatedly moving his hands around in the air. It wasn't unnecessarily unusual for Fan to watch Four do things, but there was something different about his gaze that time. Something cold.

Shuddering, Four tucked his chin to his chest and rushed inside the school.

The rhythm of a pencil on paper was something that Four had grown to rely on. It quieted his mind and soothed the ache in his joints. Just as the droning voice of his history teacher pushed his thoughts away, made them irrelevant compared to the stories of war heroes and world leaders and everyone few and far between. He didn't truly listen, didn't hang off of every word that was being said; instead, it lingered in his ears, in the back of his mind and in the drawings he made.

Before he knew it, the bell rang loudly enough that he nearly leapt out of his chair. He bent over, shoved his notebook into his bag and, as he came back up, did his very best to avoid meeting Fan’s gaze. Although there were no assigned seats in class, Fan had always gone out of his way to preserve his seat in the very front of the classroom. That was his spot.

Today, he sat in the very last row, tucked into a corner where Four knew that he would struggle to see the board their teacher wrote on. His eyes never once drifted from Four, even when he had to cough into his arm or adjust the way he was sitting to be more comfortable. It made goosebumps rise along Four’s arms, and more than once, he thought about turning around and demanding to know what his issue was in front of the entire class.

He did no such thing. As he stumbled to his feet and swung his bag over his shoulder, he spared Fan a look. He was still being stared at. Of course he was. Four made a bee-line for the exit before the teacher dismissed them properly, thoroughly creeped out. Whatever Fan’s issue was, he wanted no part of it. He just wanted to crawl into bed that night, close his eyes, and never wake up again.

Cobs was sitting at the kitchen table when Four walked in. He froze in the doorway, stomach rumbling, and stared cautiously at the scene before him. Cobs looked like a wreck, moreso than usual. His head was buried in his palms, and his hair fell over his face in coiled strands. If Four was anybody else, he would have thought that Cobs had been… crying.

He swallowed thickly, mentally prepared himself for a war, and dropped his backpack off at the table. Cobs’ head whipped up. His cheeks were red, and wet. Four stiffened and stared, his eyes straining in a feeble attempt to try and catch anything else, any other explanation for the sheer strangeness of the situation. Fan’s behaviour, his hunger, his stack of homework — it was all forgotten in favour of the absurdity before him.

Cobs sniffed, wiped his nose with the knob of his wrist, and brushed his hair back. “Four,” he spoke like he was being strangled. His eyes rounded, pleading almost. “Come, sit with me.”

He almost said no, but something drove him to cautiously pull the chair from the table and sit in it. He positioned himself as far away from Cobs as he possibly could, his skin prickling and tingling as every nerve went alight with fear. Cobs didn't seem to notice, or he didn't care. Most likely a mixture of both, knowing him.

Cobs folded his hands atop the table and stared hard at them. Silence stretched between them for a long moment, and then it didn't. A sob wracked his body, shook his shoulders as he buried his head in his hands once more. He choked on it, strangled with emotion that Four had never once seen on him before. Four wanted to run. He wanted to run and to never look back.

“I’m sorry,” he coughed into his hands, sniffed furiously, and trembled even more. “I’m so sorry, Four. I never wanted to… to hurt you like that.”

He looked up at Four, frozen at the spot. Then, he did something that he'd never done before.

His arms spread wide. Four stared at him disbelievingly for a long moment. His fingers hooked, a gesture for him to get closer; and, against his better judgement, he did. Four stumbled forwards, into Cobs’ arms, and rested his chin awkwardly on the hard surface of his chest. His breathing was uneven, ragged, and any doubts that Four had, any suspicion that he was being tricked into a trap eased as those arms closed around him.

Cobs’ chin pressed against the top of Four’s head. It almost hurt. He'd never been hugged like this before — not from Cobs, at least. He must have been dreaming. Yeah, that was it. He was dreaming. He would wake up the next day to more screaming, and the cycle would repeat endlessly.

“I’m so sorry,” Cobs rasped, “Seeing you on the floor like that this morning, I… I'm sorry, Four.”

“Its okay,” Four whispered into the tough material of Cobs’ suit jacket. It was not okay.

“You just— Four, I've never done this before. I've never been a father before. My father, well, he was never there for me. He never even looked at me. And I thought I could fix it by creating things to impress him, but it never worked, and I only felt worse and worse.”

“And then 3gs came along, and he was supposed to be the perfect creation. He wasn't, though… Four, you're the perfect creation. You feel as strongly as I do, as strongly as your peers at school. I should have realized it sooner. You're a difficult project, and you make it very hard to do anything, but you're the peak of mankind. You're proof that we can do anything.”

Four closed his eyes and prayed to wake up soon. Cobs’ grip on him tightened until he was pulled to settle across his legs like a toddler. Four’s head swam and, deep in his chest, his fans whirred as he struggled to grasp what was happening. He felt small, smaller than he usually did around Cobs. He felt like a child, and he wanted to fight it, to yell and hit and then run. But he didn't. He stayed put and listened as Cobs kept talking.

They stayed like that for a long time. Cobs’ hand strayed to run along Four’s spine, soothing him until his eyes fluttered closed naturally. His voice rumbled in his chest and, eventually, Four could no longer follow whatever it was that he was saying. The world began to slip away from him, swallowed up by darkness, and Four had to focus the last of his energy into fighting the tears that pressed against his eyelids.

He wanted to go to his room, but the grip Cobs had on him was too firm to wriggle from. He couldn't flee, couldn't escape the venom that seeped into his veins from the tip of Cobs’ fingers — the poison threaded like a web around his mind from Cobs’ tongue. Four had never felt more trapped in his life. His heart pinged, skipped more beats than what would have been healthy for a person made of flesh and blood.

As the last of the world slipped away, Four couldn't help but think that he'd be a lot more content if there was more of this nestled among all of that.

Chapter Text

Four’s mind stirred before he let his body. He kept as still as possible, his eyes squeezed shut and breathing tight and shallow in his chest. It wasn't clear if he was still in the kitchen or if he'd been moved, but the soft breathing below his cheek and the hand settled comfortably, tauntingly, on his side made it clear that he was still trapped. It would've been peaceful if that hand didn't belong to Cobs. He would have felt safe if it was anyone else.

And yet, even as his mind screamed at him to run and never look back, he found himself relaxing more and more as the minutes passed. He longed for the softness of his pillow and the warmth of his blankets, but the beat of that heart and the rhythm of those breaths soothed some deep wound in him that had gone unnoticed for years. The heavy hand on him stitched together the hole in his heart. The occasional snore that was drawn from Cobs’ mouth just slightly curved Four’s lips into a smile. Cobs was still fast asleep, and that meant that he was safe.

Was this something that would last, or would they wake up the next morning to more screaming and agony? Was Cobs going to change his ways? Did he really realize how broken he'd made Four? His words ran through Four’s mind like a broken record, repeated over and over again until it was practically branded to his brain. No, there was no way that he was truly remorseful. No way at all. He'd never been before, so what was the turning point?

Four’s breathing caught in his throat. Beneath him, Cobs shifted slightly and groaned. His fingers twitched against Four’s side. He was waking up. Four forced his breathing to slow down a considerable degree, forced his body to relax and his eyes to remain shut — not tightly, just barely enough to pass as a deep sleep. He was cautious, yes, but curious too; would Cobs take his ‘sleep’ as an opportunity? Was he able to be vulnerable like this around someone like Cobs?

He felt Cobs’ head raise from whatever position it had been resting in. The moment of peace was over now.

[SERVER: idiotic island extended family]

12:26 PM

Four: i feel like a horror movie protagonist

Nickel: ?? dawg what

Four: FAN KEEPS STARING AT ME

Nickel: just ignore him he's been acting weird all week

Marshmallow: fan? acting weird? nnnoooooooo…..

Nickel: im going to bake you into a smores cake

Marshmallow: WHAT THE FUCK

Taco: that's a new one

Paintbrush: that's crazy

Four: do you guys think id make a good police officer

Nickel: ??? no

Paintbrush: absolutely not

Taco: never in a million years

Marshmallow: dont listen to the haters four youd make a great cop

Four: thank you marshmallow 👅

Marshmallow: AHHH

Apple: dont tongue my girlfriend

Four: NEVER say that again

Apple: ok!

Paintbrush: i miss lightbulb

Marshmallow: did she die

Paintbrush: yeah
Paintbrush: i ate her

Marshmallow: ????

Fan: ME NEXT

Marshmallow: ???????????????

Fan: cannibalism as a metaphor for love or whatever the ladies say

Four: FAN
Four: Why are you Watching Me

Fan: uuuhhhhhh
Fan: :]

Paintbrush: very wise

Nickel: yeah thanks fan

Fan: im2playign regretevator

Nickel: im joining hold up

Fan: :]

Paintbrush: wait so am i

Four: im going to make mepad play tonight

Taco: make sure to invite me

Four: no ❤️

Taco: hey.

Fan: don't worry taco i’ll invite you

Taco: you're acting like a desperate cis man

Fan: AAAHHHH
Fan: please no

Nickel: LMFAO

2:16 PM

Knife: My hair is growing out again

Nickel: no more bald knife

Knife: I might do a mullet this time

Paintbrush: no you should totally do a wolfcut

Knife: That's what everybody's doing lately
Knife: I swear at least fifteen people at our school have the same haircut

Paintbrush: this is true

Nickel: speaking of hair
Nickel: do i cut mine or not
Nickel: my mom says i need a haircut but i don't fucking want one

Paintbrush: do not cut your hair oh my god
Paintbrush: you'll look like you did in middle school

Nickel: what the fuck
Nickel: yeah no my braids are staying in as long as i can keep them im not going back to that

Knife: I thought it was funny

Nickel: i hope you die

Suitcase: i hope YOU die

Nickel: wtf you're alive again

Suitcase: unfortunately
Suitcase: i miss my wife

Box: hi

Suitcase: BOX

Nickel: wow

Knife: I've decided on a mullet
Knife: Maybe a shorter one so I can skip the awkward hair growth stage

Paintbrush: you look like a rats nest right now. full offense

Knife: Thank you

Marshmallow: i support knife bullying

Suitcase: i think we should bully men more often

Knife: Who said I was a man?

Suitcase: WHAT

Knife: I'm kidding
Knife: I don't actually know what I am anymore

Suitcase: do you want to try on some of my dresses or something

Knife: …. You really think they'd fit me?

Suitcase: fair point

Nickel: just go ask test tube to borrow hers or some shit
Nickel: she's ridiculously tall for no reason

Fan: 🤤🤤🤤🤤

Nickel: can you shut up

Fan: :[

Knife: I am not doing that. I've never spoken to her outside of this server

Nickel: loser

Knife: Thank you

Nickel: anytime

Four: imsso hungrryyyy 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
Four: i yearn for some nice homemade cookies… maybe thats what ill do when im home

bloody mary: 3gs already started baking some for you.

Four: im going to kiss him on the lips for that one

OJ: Good afternoon.
OJ: Have a good day.

Four: ?!?!!!!?

Nickel: very smooth. idiot

Four: 💔🥀⛓️

Nickel: jesus

Chapter Text

3:13 AM

Suitcase: im over at nickels house and he, baseball and balloon are trying to summon a demon

Paintbrush: what even are men

Suitcase: and people think theyre humanitys intended leaders
Suitcase: nickel just said something about flirting with the demon and balloon smacked the shit out of him

Paintbrush: ????

Fan: waow (im coming over Now.)

Suitcase: 😭😭😭😭😭

Fan: im bringing testy and lightbulb too

Paintbrush: wait i want to come

Fan: okay :]

3:47 AM

Marshmallow: WHAT 😭

Paintbrush: the power went out but only in nickels house btw

Marshmallow: wtf did you guys do

Paintbrush: summon a demon apparently

Marshmallow: im going back to bed

9:32 AM

Fan: GUYS.
Fan: there's a new persona 5 game

Mic: WHAT

Fan: it's called the phantom x
Fan: it's free on steam. but it doesnt have an english dub so im not going to play it
Fan: i cannot for the life of me understand whats going on if its only a sub

Mic: They are wringing a towel of Persona 5 and using every little drop that falls out oh my God

Fan: that's what im saying

Mic: Persona 6 release when? Never because we still have six more Persona 5 games to get through

Fan: i know 💔 it's so awful

Marshmallow: are we just brushing over last night's events

Fan: yeah
Fan: im being autistic with my new best friend mic

Mic: :)

Taco: fan stop stealing my women

Fan: ?!?!???!!!!???!!?!!

Taco: LMAO

Fan: taco.

Taco: fan.

Fan: explodes pancakes with mind

Taco: my fucking pancakes

Fan: :]

Taco: i actually am not fond of pancakes i prefer waffles

Mic: How could you

Taco: are we breaking up

Mic: Yes

bloody mary: More for me

Fan: that's crazy
Fan: im actually losing it over this did somebidy possess mepad

Taco: WHST
Taco: ?????????

Mic: 😕

Suitcase: good morning
Suitcase: what is going on

Paper: who knows

Fan: my three girlfriends. and yes, they smoke weed.

Paper: do they smoke weed?

Fan: yes, actually.

Mic: You mean she isn't just smoking a cigarette? But a weed cigarette?

Fan: it's called a bunt… not weed cigarette… and yes, it is a weed bunt. they all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (they are my girlfriends.)

Suitcase: fan why do you have this memorized

Fan: it's an icon of tumblr culture

Suitcase: of course

Fan: speaking of tumblr i just checked the confession blog again and there is. more people. making out in the bathrooms

Suitcase: why.

Paper: that's actually my bad
Paper: well. mine and ojs

Fan: ??????

Suitcase: paper that cannot be comfortable or romantic in any way

Paper: it kind of just drowns out im ngl

Suitcase: ill take your word for it

Fan: im crying
Fan: i would do a lot for testy but making out in a school bathroom is not one of them

Test Tube: Drat, my daily plans are ruined.

Fan: WHAR
Fan: change of plans guys

Suitcase: what is wrong with you

Test Tube: I love whatever's wrong with him

Fan: ::]]]]]]

Paper: ive taught you well fan

Fan: im crying

Taco: i do not think we should be praising this behaviour

Marshmallow: neither do i

Suitcase: lets just kill paper

Taco: i agree

Paper: WHST

Nickel: goodbye world im getting on minecraft

Suitcase: you are going to flunk out of school

Nickel: minecraft

Suitcase: okay! yay!

Chapter Text

7:45 AM

Knife: Good morning. I haven't slept in 23 hours because I've been playing Fallout 4

Nickel: average fallout 4 playing experience
Nickel: ive been on minecraft all night

Suitcase: there's something deeply wrong with all of you

Nickel: okay says you dawg

Suitcase: hey im perfectly normal

Fan: you were also up all night because you couldn't stop feeling bugs crawling on your arms

Suitcase: WHAT
Suitcase: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT

Fan: i have my ways :]

Knife: I just fell asleep at my desk
Knife: Goodbye world

Fan: he's going to die

Nickel: good riddance

Suitcase: wow

Fan: wow nickel you're so cruel

Nickel: what can i say
Nickel: the ladies want me

Suitcase: not really no

Nickel: balloon wants me

Balloon: says who

Nickel: wtf.

Suitcase: LMAOO

Nickel: knife just got a detention im losing it

Balloon: ITS NOT EVEN 1ST PERIOD YET

Suitcase: genuinely though avp shouldnt count

Balloon: ITS NOT EVEN AVP YET THAT STARTS AT 8:15

Suitcase: okay then what

Nickel: wtf is wrong with this school dawg

Knife: I really can't wait to see Mr Hawaii again!!!!!!!!!!

Nickel: they grow up so fast

Knife: ?

Nickel: you used sarcasm normally

Knife: Oh yeah I forgot that was a thing I didn't know how to do

Fan: i didn't

Knife: I know.

Fan: :]

Suitcase: knife can you beg mom to pick up mcdonalds for dinner im craving salt and she'll listen to you more than me

Knife: Fine but only if you do tonight's dishes

Suitcase: deal

Nickel: if i had a detention and then asked my mom for mcdonalds i think she'd kick me out of the house for the night

Knife: I'm the favourite

Suitcase: yeah ❤️

Balloon: i should wear a sweater in summer weather that's funeral grey

Fan: aufjsjfksl
Fan: i love that song

Balloon: waterparks >>>>

Fan: and then she said i know your dying wish is to be baptized in my spit!!!! 💃💃‼️‼️

Balloon: TRUE

Nickel: still can't believe fans stealing my man

Balloon: can you be normal

Nickel: not really no

Paintbrush: beautiful princess disorder

Nickel: whar

Paintbrush: LMAO

11:16 AM

Paintbrush: he really had to think about that one

Lightbulb: BAZTERRRRRR 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🦀

Paintbrush: hi lightbulb

Lightbulb: HAI PAINTY :4

Paper: guys i have tea

Paintbrush: share. now.

Paper: this kid in my class (im not saying who) gave me her instagram and she's very openly an mspec lesbian

Lightbulb: ???/??????????

Paintbrush: that's crazy i thought we left this shit behind in 2023

Paper: i wish

Fan: average tumblr experience honestly

Paintbrush: i actually don't understand. the word sapphic is right there.

Fan: its honestly a prettier sounding word anyway

Paintbrush: exactly

Paper: i just kind of quietly blocked her and hoped she didn't notice

Paintbrush: could you imagine if she was trying to get with you

Paper: oh my god

Lightbulb: ivr never had someone give me their instagram unless they were lfirting with me
Lightbulb: thats not true ive never had a man give me his unless he was flirting with me

Paintbrush: ew

Lightbulb: I KNWO
Lightbulb: only thing i dont like abour coming out: men actually treat me like a woman now

Paper: this is kind of real. but the reverse obviously
Paper: a lot of men tell me things that they think ill agree with now like no i don't want to help you harass girls im gay and also not an idiot

Paintbrush: men suck
Paintbrush: i was very tempted to say as a former man

Lightbulb: HAHAHA
Lightbulb: as a former man men are stupid

Paintbrush: thank you

Nickel: dawg my lunch tastes like cardboard i hate this school so bad

Paintbrush: so does mine im not eating this shit

Nickel: real

Lightbulb: im gonna throw chips at you

Nickel: wtf
Nickel: are they hot cheetos

Lightbulb: ya :4

Nickel: good give me that shit

Paper: tell me baby baby do i walk like a boy do i speak like a boy do i stand like a boy 🗣️‼️
Paper: im so glad i rediscovered this song

Nickel: me rediscovering badflower

Paper: are you like. okay

Four: BADFLOWER MENTION

Paper: ?????

Paintbrush: wtf is a badflower

Paper: do you know nf

Paintbrush: some of his songs yeah

Paper: so imagine his older albums except without rapping

Paintbrush: dude

Nickel: nf is peak don't even play

Paintbrush: is everything okay at home

Nickel: yeah obviously god forbid a guy like music

Paintbrush: im going to strangle you

Nickel: do you promise?

Balloon: i love whatevers wrong with you

Paper: i don't

Balloon: thats why youre ojs boyfriend and not nickels

Paper: true

Lightbulb: 🦀

Paintbrush: i agree

3:14 PM

Knife: I just bought a month of spotify premium to survive detention

Suitcase: WITH WHAT MONEY

Knife: Unimportant

Suitcase: mom is actually going to kill you

Nickel: good riddance

Knife: It wouldn't be the first time she tried

Paper: what

Suitcase: HUJH????

Knife: God forbid a man make a joke
Knife: What the fuck Trophy is here too

Suitcase: oh you're so dead

Knife: Get me out

Fan: im so getting my money

Knife: I hope you die miserably

Fan: :3

Knife: He's just staring at me

Paper: go say hi

Knife: Hell no

Suitcase: do it pussy

Knife: No

Paper: yaoi loses

Knife: I don't fucking want Trophy

Paper: that's what i said about oj once

Suitcase: since when did you say that about oj

Paper: we used to have beef did you not know this

Suitcase: NO??

Nickel: yeah it was really funny actually
Nickel: anyway knife lock in dawg

Knife: Oh my god fine
Knife: I'll say hi to him

Nickel: LMAO

Knife: He punched me in the face.

Nickel: well. we tried

Suitcase: in losing it

Chapter Text

1:03 PM

Suitcase: cabby is listening to epic the musical on repeat guys

Nickel: god damn

Fan: my influence

Nickel: yeah it was totally yours

Four: epic the musical 🤤

Fan: hi four :]

Suitcase: should i say hi to her

Nickel: LMAO
Nickel: i hope she pushes you down a flight of stairs

Suitcase: what the fuck 💔

Knife: On that note, the play is later this week

Nickel: god damn already

Knife: I know

Taco: i still cannot believe they cast one of the only blind kids in our school as tiresias

Fan: its so wild

YinYang: RAAHHHH 🦖

Fan: so true

YinYang: i had a dream about dinosaurs last night
YinYang: yang is corrupting me

Nickel: we should kill him

YinYang: i agree
YinYang: he's glaring at me i dont think he liked that one

Fan: speaking of dinosaurs testy is trying to convince me to watch the jurassic park movies

Nickel: you've never watched them??

Fan: i have not

Apple: ??? WHO RAISED YOU
Apple: also giys i have an english exam again ☹️

Nickel: have fun failing

Apple: atp i really do need to be tested for dyslexia

Fan: good luck genuinely nobody diagnoses dyslexia past likr. 5th grade

Apple: UGHH 💔
Apple: i swear my english teacher has beef with me too

Nickel: what is with this school and beefing with minors

Apple: I DONT KNOW ITS SO DUMB

Suitcase: guys
Suitcase: i just had a full conversation with cabby

Nickel: what the fuck

Suitcase: her favourite epic character is athena and she really likes god games

YinYang: she also likes aeolus

Suitcase: ???/
Suitcase: you know her??

YinYang: yeah she's one of our best friends

Candle: She is part of our, albeit small, friend group

Nickel: what the fuck ²

Candle: I'm a little surprised none of you knew this

Fan: i did

Candle: Of course. :)

Fan: while you're here please stop making out with silver in the bathrooms i beg. i keep getting confessions about it on my blog

Candle: Is that so?

Fan: yes 💔💔💔

YinYang: I THINK ROMAnCE SHOULD DIE 🦖

Nickel: i agree

Suitcase: sure you do

Apple: SURE YOU DO.

Nickel: wtf.

Balloon: HI NICKEL

Nickel: hey

Fan: augh i miss testy

Nickel: can you die

Fan: :[

Taco: school ends in roughly two hours
Taco: freedom is so close yet so far

Apple: RELEASE US 😭💔😭😭😭😭💔💔

YinYang: GET US OUUTTTTT

Balloon: FREE MEEEEE

Suitcase: wow they really want out

Box: HI SUITCASE ❤️

Suitcase: HI BOX

Fan: yuri

Box: :3

Suitcase: :3

Apple: :3

Fan: we are the :3 brothers

Taco: i have a story to tell everyone

Apple: uh oh

Nickel: i hope it's terrible

Taco: it is
Taco: there's this man

Apple: already the worst thing ever

Suitcase: what im saying dude

Taco: and he sits behind me in class right
Taco: so im minding my own business, texting mepad, and he leans over his desk and pokes my shoulder
Taco: already im like ??? (i do not like strangers laying their hands on me) and i turn to look at him, very clearly expressing that i do not want to talk

Suitcase: oh no

Taco: and he asks me if my accent is real. i look at him like 😐 and ask him what he thinks
Taco: i may be british but i grew up primarily in america. my accent is exaggerated purely because i think it's funny (and because my family’s never faded)

Apple: i support you

Nickel: no wonder she's in the drama club

Taco: hey.
Taco: anyway he said he thinks it's fake and i just kind of smiled at him and went back to my phone. ten minutes later he taps my shoulder once more and asks me if he can have my phone number. i told him that i have a girlfriend (he doesn't need to know i have two) and he scowled at me and muttered a slur under his breath

Fan: this is wild

Taco: i know.

Nickel: im fucking losing it what is wrong with people

Taco: his name is luke. i believe it may just be the name luke

Nickel: of course his fucking name is luke

Apple: isnt that an instrument

Nickel: ??

Taco: that is a lute i fear

Apple: oops
Apple: exam time goodbye cruel world

Nickel: yeah she's going to die

Fan: have a little faith ❤️ she will succeed ❤️ i believe in her ❤️

Nickel: i hate you

Chapter Text

3:46 AM

Paper: “ill just get a quick snack and then go straight back to bed” i said
Paper: little did i know
Paper: i would be wide awake for the next hour and a half

Suitcase: twin 🥺💞 where have you been ✨💅

Paper: never do that again thank you

Suitcase: LMAO
Suitcase: nickel and i have been on the minecraft server for the past 3 hours

Paper: im joining

Suitcase: hell yeah
Suitcase: we're building a wall around a village so we can trap them while we burn their homes

Paper: ???

Suitcase: don't ask

Paper: okay ❤️ yay ❤️

Nickel: it's an outlet for my deep dark violent urges since my one sims 4 mod broke

Suitcase: what is wrong with you

Nickel: do you want a list?
Nickel: she just shot me dead in minecraft

Paper: deserved

Nickel: hey.

9:16 AM

Box: i forgot my wheelchair gloves at home and now there's a big fat blister on both of my thumbs

Suitcase: ill kiss them better 🥹

Box: please never use that emoji again

Suitcase: LMAOOHDJRTJK

Nickel: 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Box: stop it i hate that thing so bad

OJ: I'm going to make server rules specifically for this emoji

Nickel: 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

OJ: Banned.

Nickel: oh no whatever shall i do

Knife: Good morning. I woke up bald.

Box: ? what ???

Knife: Its a long story

Nickel: we have time

Box: yeah now im curious

Knife: So basically I stayed the night at Trophy’s house and I woke up with no hair

Nickel: ?
Nickel: is that it

Box: im so confused

Suitcase: genuinely what is happening right now. also i cant believe i forgot to tell everyone that you were sleeping over at trophys house

Knife: Update: he's currently yelling at his sister
Knife: We're both late for school. I don't know what he's doing

Box: you're awfully calm for somebody who just got shaved bald

Knife: It wouldn't be my first time

Nickel: my bad

Knife: Yeah. Your bad.

Suitcase: unfortunately i can confirm that was a wild day

Box: im losing my mind i think

Nickel: average

Box: hey
Box: what if i start crying

Nickel: ?

Fan: what is happening i literally just woke up
Fan: oh my god im going to be late

Nickel: are we deadass right now

Fan: i was up all night

Nickel: doing what.

Fan: very normal things

Nickel: ??

Box: that doesn't sound very normal

Fan: :]

Nickel: average fan

Suitcase: this is true he's always like this

Knife: We're being driven to school by Trophy’s mom

Fan: is it finally romantical can i get my money now

Knife: No.

Fan: darn it

Nickel: i fully expected you to say drat

Fan: that's testys line not mine

Lightbulb: TESTYYUYU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Paintbrush: she's off at war

Fan: the wife and kids miss her

Nickel: ?

Suitcase: you're questioning everything today

Nickel: what can i say im the thinker

Suitcase: he gained sentience 🥹 they grow up so fast

Nickel: shut the fuck up i fucking hate you so fucking much oh my fucking god

Suitcase: LMAOO

Lightbulb: TETSYYY 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Paintbrush: what is going on whg is knife bald

Nickel: i don't fucking know

Paintbrush: great

Lightbulb: i miss my wige

Paintbrush: you literally see her next period

Lightbulb: WIFEEEE

Fan: hey that's my wife

Lightbulb: can we share 🥺

Fan: ……
Fan: i suppose

Lightbulb: :4

Nickel: “i suppose”

Fan: yeah that was the joke

Nickel: i hate you i hope you explode

Lightbulb: explodrs pancakes with mind

Fan: MY FUCKING PANCAKES

Knife: Trophy punched me and then ran off to class

Box: yeah he's in love with you

Suitcase: that's what im saying

Knife: No he's not

Chapter Text

12:24 AM

Nickel: i cant sleep again i think im losing it

Knife: Real.

Nickel: release me from this prison
Nickel: back on the minecraft server i go i guess

Knife: I'll join you

Nickel: hell yeah

OJ: I'm glad to see my impulse purchase has survived the past few months.

Nickel: only because of me

Marshmallow: blatantly false me and apple are on all the time

Nickel: let me have my moment dawg

Marshmallow: no ❤️

Nickel: im going to blow you up

Marshmallow: ok yay
Marshmallow: anyway im hopping on

Apple: WAIT FOR ME

Marshmallow: HI APPLE :3

Apple: HI MARSH :3

Bow: 🪑

Apple: BOW!!!!!!1

Marshmallow: BOOWWWWW!!!!

Bow: HAAIAIAIAIAIAIIIII :333

Apple: 😎 🧠

Marshmallow: return of the signature emojis

Apple: 🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠

Marshmallow: did i ever have one i forget

Apple: i dont remember

Marshmallow: 🧐

Apple: 🧐

Bow: minecraf 🪑
Bow: i shall join

Apple: YAYAYAY

OJ: I might as well also join. I can't sleep either

Apple: the world is ending

Marshmallow: THE SKY IS FALLING

Apple: THE SJY IS FALLIG THE SKY IS FALLING

Taco: good morning. i had a dream that mepad was a vampire. i discovered something about myself.

Apple: vamprheg 🤤

Marshmallow: vampreg

Taco: ?????????????

bloody mary: Hello, Taco.

Taco: hi

bloody mary: Did you sleep well?

Taco: well enough
Taco: dream aside and everything

bloody mary: Of course.

Taco: you need to go to bed

bloody mary: I'm working on it. Goodnight. I will see you tomorrow.

Marshmallow: holy gay

OJ: I also had a vampire dream

Taco: maybe mepad and paper are secretly vampires

OJ: I doubt it. We don't live in a book.

Taco: the joke flew right over your head

Marshmallow: as they tend to do

10:32 AM

Lightbulb: GOOT MORN

Nickel: good morning

Marshmallow: im so tired 😕

Nickel: this is why we don't stay up until 4 am dawg

Marshmallow: minecraft 🤤

Nickel: you got me there

Marshmallow: hey at least there's no school today

Knife: I can play Fallout 4 all I want

Marshmallow: exactly

Lightbulb: I MISS BAXTERRRR
Lightbulb: 🦀

Paintbrush: im sure he misses you too

Lightbulb: MY SOOONNNNNNN

Nickel: here we go again

Lightbulb: be nicr to me im just a girl

Nickel: no thanks

Four: guys
Four: my dad just bought me an entire kitten out of the blue im so confused

Lightbulb: HUHH?????/

Four: i mean shes adorable but ??
Four: she keeps chewing on my shoelaces

Nickel: wtf
Nickel: merry christmas i guess

Four: ITS NOT EVEN DECEMBER YET

Nickel: yet

Lightbulb: thr uhhh
Lightbulb: stores have started sellimg christmas stuff

Nickel: are we deadass

Lightbulb: unfortunately

Paintbrush: that reminded me that we still need to put up our halloween decorations

Lightbulb: CNA I JOIN PLSPSLOSLSPSLSPSLSPSLSS

Paintbrush: of course you can

Lightbulb: YAYAYAYAYAYA
Lightbulb: IM ON MY WAU NOW!!1

Fan: im coming too whether you like it or not

Nickel: wow
Nickel: dawg i need to convince balloon to wear a stupid fucking costume with me

Fan: mr kraaaaabbsss i have an ideaaaaaa

Nickel: can you die
Nickel: what's your idea

Fan: ill dm you later :]

Lightbulb: OM SCARED!!
Lightbulb: faaasnn :4 bring testyy

Fan: i am :3

Lightbulb: YAYU

Fan: goodbye we are Approaching

Lightbulb: goot bye :2