Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Stiles wiped sweat off his face.

There was no reason for the weather being this hot since it was the last weeks of November already.

Stiles was back in Beacon Hills Preserve, which was not the way he wanted to spend his day off, but alas, what could you do when your idiot werewolf friend went and got himself killed.

It had been a long time since Stiles last went anywhere near the Nemeton. In fact, he couldn't quite remember how to find it again and thus, had been hiking in the woods since the early morning.

It was now 5 pm and Stiles needed another break so he sat down on a nearby rock to eat his protein bar and to drink some water. His backpack was filled to the brim since it had most of the things he had packed to travel and the stuff that he needed to bring Derek back was in the tote back layd in his feet.

It took some time to find the food from the full backpack and when he finally did, he bit into the protein bar hungrily, trying not to think about Derek, The Nogitsune or hellfires.

If Stiles had been smarter he would've probably asked one of the pack members to accompany him, but then again, he didn’t really want anybody to know what he was up to in case it didn’t work out. No reason for anybody to get their hopes up without a valid reason. Well, that was what Stiles told himself. The truth on why he wanted to do it alone, might have been a little bit more complicated. But he wasn't going to go there, not ever.

Stiles winced when he realized his thoughts had, without his permission, drifted to Derek. The way he'd died had been unnecessarily cruel: burned alive, like most of his family, while his son watched and could do nothing.

Stiles blinked rapidly and took a deep breath redirecting his thoughts into finding the Nemeton.

After tucking the protein bar wrapper into his pocket, Stiles stood up and resumed his hike down the hill.

The leaves were rustling in his wake and the Sun was getting nearer the horizon, so Stiles picked up the pace.

Twenty minutes later he could finally see the stupid stump.

Stiles hurried to the Nemeton and rifled through his tote back taking out the seven herbs that were used to heal supernatural creatures, Derek's skull, salt, keys of Derek’s old Camaro, the black king chess piece, candles, incantation and two protecting feather necklaces that his mage friend Freddy had made for him.

“You owe me so much for this. This is the weirdest thing I've ever had to do.” Stiles muttered as he started making a salt ring on top of the Nemeton.

He put on the necklace and set Derek’s skull in the middle of the ring with the keys and the chess piece.

Then he cut his finger, dropping three beads of blood on the skull's forehead.

After that he placed the seven candles on the salted edges of the circle and wrapped the different herbs around them.

Finally, he sat on the edge of the Nemeton and started waiting for the sun to set and the full moon to rise.

At 6 pm it was finally dark, if you didn't account the pale moonlight, which created shadows on the tall trees surrounding the clearing.

Stiles lit up the candles and started reading the incantation that Freddy had made for him.

“Per tenebras dominantium, per umbras reptans;
perditos e somno sempiterno voco.
Egredere, o spiritus, ignotis ab inferis;
Egredere a sepulcro tuo, ad quod missus es.
In virtute mortis, et in voluntate mearum.
Ad vivos redi, ut circulus imperat.
Redeat spiritus, incipiat pulsus;
Surge de cineribus, et exsurge, Domine;
De vita ad mortem, et de morte ad vitam,
Revoca formam, redi a lite.
Hanc ego noctem cum sanguine ligo ;
Nunc expergiscimini, nunc orimini, in pallido lunae lumine”

Nothing happened after Stiles stopped receding the verses.

He looked at the skull that once was Derek’s head and started reading again.

“Per tenebras dominantium, per umbras reptans;
perditos e somno sempiterno voco.
Egredere, o spiritus, ignotis ab inferis;
Egredere a sepulcro tuo, ad quod missus es.
In virtute mortis, et in voluntate mearum.
Ad vivos redi, ut circulus imperat.
Redeat spiritus, incipiat pulsus;
Surge de cineribus, et exsurge, Domine;
De vita ad mortem, et de morte ad vitam,
Revoca formam, redi a lite.
Hanc ego noctem cum sanguine ligo ;
Nunc expergiscimini, nunc orimini, in pallido lunae lumine”

There was a small gust of wind and the candles flickered.

Stiles’ heart was hammering in his chest and he swore he could hear it as he started receding again.

“Per tenebras dominantium, per umbras reptans;
perditos e somno sempiterno voco.
Egredere, o spiritus, ignotis ab inferis;
Egredere a sepulcro tuo, ad quod missus es.
In virtute mortis, et in voluntate mearum.
Ad vivos redi, ut circulus imperat.
Redeat spiritus, incipiat pulsus;
Surge de cineribus, et exsurge, Domine;
De vita ad mortem, et de morte ad vitam,
Revoca formam, redi a lite.
Hanc ego noctem cum sanguine ligo ;
Nunc expergiscimini, nunc orimini, in pallido lunae lumine”

The small gust of wind turned into a big squall that blew the candles out.

The moon that had been lighting up the forest disappeared behind a storm cloud and Stiles blinked, trying to get used to the darkness that now surrounded him.

Someone coughed and Stiles saw something moving in the salt ring.

“Derek?” He whispered.

Red, glowing eyes snapped open.

“Oh, shit” Stiles whispered again. “Are you Derek?”

The figure in the salt ring stood up and cleared their throat. “I think so.”

Stiles’ tensed up shoulders dropped and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh, thank God! Welcome back, Sourwolf. I missed you.” Stiles sniffled after saying it.

He subtly wiped off the escaped tears and the edge of the salt ring and crashed into Derek, wrapping him into his arms.

Then Stiles remembered the feather necklace and put it on Derek's neck, after which he hugged the man again, which Derek let happen, without protest.

“I hate you so much, you self sacrificing, stupid, fucked up idiot.”

The relief Stiles felt made his knees weak and he clung to Derek more desperately.

Derek smelled earthly, like forest and sandalwood, he always did, and it calmed something in Stiles, making Derek feel more real than he had before.

“You are a liar.” Derek mumbled as he hugged Stiles back, his big arms engulfing Stiles as he buried his nose in his neck.

They stood there for a good amount of time, just clinging into each other and breathing the other in.

Finally Stiles took a step back enraged. “I’m so mad I don’t even know what to say to you.”

And then Derek was kissing him.

Derek Hale was kissing Stiles Stilinski.

And Stiles was opening his mouth and moaning into the kiss, pressing his body against Derek’s naked one and raking his fingers through his hair, pulling him in, in, in.

And then Derek pulled away from him, panting and looking flushed, and so delicious Stiles wanted to fucking devour him.

“Stiles.” Derek moaned.

“Fuck me.” Derek whispered, his voice rough and raspy and perfect.

And never in his life did Stiles imagine those words leaving Derek’s lips.

Not that he was complaining. In fact he thought it was the best idea Derek had ever had.

Stiles swallowed violently. “Are you sure?”

Derek nodded and started kissing him again, pressing against him, his cock rock hard and feeling huge against Stiles' thigh.

Stiles was acutely aware of the state of his own, equally desperate dick when he answered the kiss, hungry and desperate.

Stiles rocked against Derek for some friction, and as a reward, he felt sparks of pleasure shooting through him.

“I have lube in my backpack.” Stiles panted.

And fuck was he grateful for his past self that had wanted to jerk off comfortably.

He detached himself from Derek to riffle through his bag and pulled out the half empty bottle of lube. “Do you want me to use a condom?”

Derek shook his head no and pulled Stiles on top of him, wrapping his legs around Stiles and helping him get rid of his t-shirt.

Stiles kissed him again and opened the bottle, squeezing the lube on his fingers. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

Derek licked his lips “I will.”

Stiles kissed his way down Derek’s stomach all the way to his groin. Fuck, having a body like that should be illegal.

Stiles licked Derek's shaft from root to tip, simultaneously circling his fingers on the edge of Derek’s hole and pushing one inside.

Derek let out a punched out shout and Stiles took the man's cock in his mouth while slowly pumping his finger in and out of him, taking his time opening him up.

After Derek had had time to adjust to the intrusion, Stiles added another finger and started searching for Derek's prostate.

Derek whimpered as he found what he was looking for. Hearing that noise was Stiles’ new favorite thing in the world and it had him moaning on Derek's cock. That in turn, made Derek jerk and Stiles choke a little bit.

Stiles kept grazing Derek's prostate every time he pushed his fingers back into him and Derek kept making the noises every time Stiles hit his target. Hearing them made Stiles' own erection throb almost painfully.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to come before you get in me.” Derek bit out and Stiles pulled his mouth off Derek's cock with a loud pop.

“That’s okay by me.” And he sucked Derek back into his mouth, bobbing his head faster and adding a third finger.

Not a minute later Derek was coming down his throat, gasping.

Stiles fingered and sucked him though it, until the stimulation became too much for Derek and he squirmed off Stiles.

“Fuck that was good. I need you to get inside me now.” Derek panted unevenly, tucking Stiles upwards to kiss him again.

The kiss was open-mouthed, frantic and dirty and Derek could taste himself on Stiles’ tongue.

The taste was making his wolf rumble contently and Derek tried to distract himself from the fact by putting even more effort into each kiss and by leaving red marks on Stiles' back.

After a minute Stiles stood up, struggling to take off his shoes and jeans.

After winning the fight with his pants, he went back to kissing Derek.

“How do you want to do this?” Stiles asked Derek in between the kisses.

Derek wrapped his legs around Stiles’ waist. “Like this. Just, get in me already.”

“Okay, okay, I can definitely do that.” He babbled and lubed up his cock, slowly starting to push inside Derek.

“Fuck, you are so tight.”

Derek hummed impatiently and pulled Stiles all the way inside him by tightening his legs around the man.

Stiles let out a punched out sound as he was surrounded by Derek.

It was so good he had to squeeze his eyes shut, so he wouldn't come immediately.

Derek had never in his life felt so full.

He loved the thought of Stiles filling him.

Derek's dick was hardening again against Stiles’ stomach and he let out a whimper at the sensation that was almost too much, but at the same time, not enough.

“Move.” Derek ordered roughly, his brain not allowing anything more complex to pass his lips, it lacking the ability to form any intelligent thought at the moment.

“You have to wait a little while longer, big guy, or this is going to be over before it starts." Stiles grunted. "Fuck, Derek, you look so beautiful, and you feel fucking perfect.”

Derek was suddenly glad that it was dark, because Stiles saying that to him made his face color redder than he could remember it ever being.

And fuck if that wasn't a revelation Derek didn't want to have. Because nobody made Derek Hale blush.

Then Stiles started to move. First it was slow but gradually Stiles picked up the pace. Derek couldn't think anything, except for the litany of “faster, more, please, harder” that escaped his lips in varying degrees of desperation as Stiles kept fucking him, from the perfect angle. Every time Stiles thrusted in, Derek could feel a jolt of pleasure climbing up his spine.

Stiles wrapped his long fingers around Derek’s cock and started jerking him off in the same rhythm he was moving inside him.

It didn't take long before Stiles was coming with a guttural groan and Derek followed him, ropes of his cum shooting onto their stomachs.

After a little while Stiles pulled out of Derek slowly and rolled off of him onto the tree stump.

“I can’t believe we just did that.” He panted, trying to catch his breath.

His fast beating heart was finally slowing down, and he looked at Derek who was laying next to him on the Nemeton.

Derek was feeling strangely empty now that Stiles wasn't inside him anymore.

Holy shit, what had they done?

Stiles wiped himself down with his used t-shirt and handed it to Derek who did the same.

“Derek, you okay, buddy?” Stiles asked, sounding unsure.

Derek realized that he’s been quiet for a while.

“I’m fine.” He said roughly, without being sure that he actually was.

His body was tingling in a strange, overwhelming way and he felt like he wanted to shake his skin off his bones to rid himself of the feeling.

Derek had just had sex with Stiles, who he'd been in unrequited love with for over a decade.

“Do you have any spare clothes for me?” He asked.

Stiles sat up and tossed him a t-shirt and grey sweatpants.

Derek dressed up and Stiles followed suit.

Stiles looked unsure and cleared his throat. “You know, Eli is in LA, he is living with Scott and Allison. Nobody knows you are back, so I brought your phone and you can call them.”

Derek paled and his heart missed a beat. Eli.

“Thank you. Can I have it?” He asked gruffly.

“Of course.” Stiles chewed his lip and handed him the phone.

“Are you sure you are okay?” He added, eyebrows furrowed.

Derek nodded. “I’m fine. I just have to call Eli.”

“Okay.”

Derek found his son’s number and pressed the call-button.

It rang four times before Eli answered. He sounded devastated. “Who is this?”

“Hi, kid. It’s dad.”

There was a sob from the other end of the line and hearing it broke Derek's heart.

“I’m okay, kid. I’m in Beacon Hills and I’m getting the first plane ticket there. You can send me the address.”

“Dad, is it really you?” Eli asked, sounding a little bit hysteric.

“I promise it's me. I can prove it. Do you remember when you were little and refused to put on shoes when we went outside? The only way I got you to put them on was bribing you with mango flavored ice-cream that is still your favorite dessert. I love you, kid.” Derek said, desperate to let his son know that he was, actually, well, him.

Tears stung Derek's eyes and he swallowed back his own sob, only sniffling a little.

“Okay, okay, I believe you. How are you back? You were…” Eli choked on another sob and Derek grimaced. His death must have been horrible to watch.

“I know kid, I’m all better now, Stiles did something and I’m okay. I promise you, I’m not leaving again.”

It felt so hollow to say that, like Derek had just been on a long business trip and not burned to death and brought back to life. It wasn't as if he could actually be sure that he could keep that promise either.

“Okay, dad.” Eli sniffled.

“Is Scott or Allison there? You probably shouldn’t be alone now kid. Can you go find them?”

Derek heard rustling from the phone as Eli moved out of the room he had been in.

“Scott is here. Scott, my dad is back! I’m putting you on speakerphone.”

“What’s going on Eli?” Scott's gruff voice carried through the air.

“I'm putting you on speakerphone too. Hi Scott. I’m not dead anymore.” Derek said and winced.

“Derek?” Scott sounded suspicious.

“It’s really Derek, Scott. I totally did something bad-ass to bring him back. We are in Beacon Hills.” Stiles putted in from where he had been watching.

“Holy shit, dude! That’s awesome! Nice to hear from you Derek. I can’t believe you are real, that’s awesome! Eli, your dad is really back!” Scott gushed. “Are we coming there, I can get the car now and we can start driving there!"

He didn't wait for the answer. "Eli, pack a back, we are going back to see your dad.”

“That sounds good. I was going to come there but that works too. I’m going to go to our house so I’ll be waiting for you guys there.” Derek smiled.

“Okay, I love you dad. I’m gonna go pack now.”

“I love you too, kid. Thank you, Scott. See you soon.”

Eli ended the call.

“Okay, let’s get going, sourwolf.” Stiles grinned forcefully and started heading out of the forest.

“Stiles, you are going in the wrong direction.” Derek pointed to the fastest route out of the Preserve and smirked when Stiles flailed, redirecting himself to the right direction.

They walked in silence and Derek could practically hear Stiles overthinking things.

More than once Stiles opened his mouth to speak, but he never got to the point of saying anything.

Derek sighed. “You know you don’t have to worry about it, right?”

“Worry about what? I’m not worried!” Stiles squeaked, his heart rate jumping and exposing the lie.

“It was a mistake and it’s not going to happen again, so you can just forget about it.” Derek forced out roughly, swallowing down the stupid feelings he had towards Stiles.

Stiles was quiet for a while. “Why?”

“Because it didn’t mean anything.” Derek said through gritted teeth.

What the hell else was there to say? By the way Stiles, I have been hopelessly in love with you for the last fifteen years? Yeah, right! Derek would rather keel over again than open that can of worms.

Stiles’ shoulders slumped. “Okay.”

They kept walking in silence.

After what felt like forever, they came up onto the road.

Derek turned to the left.

Stiles cleared his throat. “My car is actually in the other direction. Do you need a ride to your house?”

“I think I’m fine just walking. You are leaving?”

“Yes. I'm working in Sacramento and I have to drive back there by tomorrow anyways.” Stiles said smiling. “I’m very glad that you are back Derek.”

“Thank you, for bringing me back, Stiles.” Derek looked at him with a serious expression.

“No worries!” Stiles’ answering smile was super bright and the fakest one he could remember himself ever making.

He hadn’t felt as lonely as he did in that moment in a long time.

And before Derek could see the tears in his eyes, he whipped around and started marching toward his car.

Finding it took about ten minutes and Derek was, thankfully long gone by then, so Stiles could climb into the driver's seat and let his tears fall freely.

He was probably the stupidest man on earth.

Chapter Text

7 weeks later

Coming back from the dead was not exactly a walk in the park.

Derek still got dizzy when he stood up too fast and he was sleeping way more than he normally would. He was also cold, all the time.

Derek was sitting down on the corner of his sofa in his and Eli's home and listening to Eli and Peter bickering about how to prepare the food for the pack.

The pack was supposed to come to dinner in a little while, to celebrate Derek coming back to life.

Deaton, the Sheriff, Scott, Allison, Chris, Malia, Jordan, Mason and Corey were coming over to officially welcome him back.

The other members of the McCall-pack (or was it now McCall-Hale-pack?) were further away and Derek had insisted that they didn't come. He didn't really enjoy being the center of attention so he was quite fine with the smaller crowd.

Since he was tired, Derek was happy to have others preparing the food and just chilling on the couch doing absolutely nothing.

He hadn’t heard anything from Stiles, which stung a lot more than Derek was willing to admit to himself even though Stiles not keeping in touch with him was to be expected considering the state they had left things.

Why he had thought it was a good idea to have sex with the man, he didn't know.

He supposed that he could be forgiven for that discretion considering the fact that he'd just come back to life. It had surely had an temporary effect for Derek's usually pretty impecable self control.

Derek was feeling nervous about being the alpha again since the last time that that had happened hadn’t really gone well for, quite frankly, anyone.

He and Scott had discussed Derek being an alpha again and for now the plan was just to keep living like they had been before, well, everything, and make decisions democratically. Which was a big relief for Derek, who didn't really want to have more responsibility over his pack members.

Derek could hear Noah's cruiser pulling up to the yard and the Sheriff stepping out of the car.

Noah's steps crunched on the gravel while he walked towards the doorway.

Derek stood up from the couch and walked to the door, opening it before the Sheriff had had time to knock on the door.

“Hello, son. It’s good to see you.” Noah said roughly, smiling and pulling Derek into a hug.

His eyes were a little damp but Derek wasn’t going to mention it, opting instead to hug him back. “You too, Sheriff.” Sheriff Stilinski’s hugs were amazing, and it must have been a family trait because... Nope, not going there.

“Now, where is that kid of yours?” Noah gushed loudly.

“He is making dinner with Peter.” Noah clapped Derek on the back before venturing inside.

Derek sat back down into the sofa and wrapped a blanket around himself.

“You are making something with red meat, right? This is a celebration after all.” The Sheriff's voice wafted from the kitchen.

“I’m making you a special plate of tofu and vegetables.” Eli replied cheekily.

Noah let out an outraged squawk, and Eli cackled. “I’m kidding, there will be steaks.”

The breath of relief that the Sheriff let out sounded a little bit exaggerated in Derek’s opinion, but he smiled faintly anyway and closed his eyes to rest for a while.

---

He was woken up by the sound of keys jingling and the door opening.

Who had keys to his house?

Stiles’ voice filled his ears. “Eli, I got an interesting phone call from your grandpa. Mind explaining to me why you were going 20 miles over the speed limit yesterday?”

Had Stiles made a key to his house? Because that was some serious crossing of boundaries.

And since when was Stiles going to show up for the dinner? He'd definitely texted the group chat about his 'busy schedule' not allowing the trip back to Beacon Hills. Though Derek suspected that it might have had more to do with the events from seven weeks ago.

What the hell?

Apparently he wasn't the only one confused, judging from the clattering that Derek could hear from the kitchen.

Stiles didn’t seem to mind and there was a sound of clothes shuffling from the hallway. “You know, I would like to hear an explanation for this young man, or I’m gonna have to tell your dad to take out the Jeeps' battery, again.”

What the hell was Stiles talking about, and also, why hadn’t Derek thought of doing that to the Jeep? That would have been way more sustainable way to control (or stop) Eli's driving than puncturing the tiers, which Derek had been doing.

Stiles sounded almost, what was that even; disappointed?, Stern?, Paternal?, When he spoke to Eli.

It was freaking Derek out, a lot.

“You in here, kiddo?” Stiles asked, sounding more worried and stepping into the living room.

He was holding a toddler whose face was buried in his neck and carrying a bag of groceries and a diaper bag in his other hand.

His eyes landed on Derek.

“What the hell?” Stiles whispered. And wasn’t that the question.

Stiles didn’t look quite right. He was slightly older and wearing a…white turtleneck sweater? Since when did Stiles wear anything but his nerdy graphic-tees and plaid or his FBI gear? Well, to be fair he did nowadays, but never that!

“Is this a throwback to the time you got De-aged in Mexico?” Stiles asked, walking towards Derek. “I swear to god, if you don’t remember me, I’m gonna…” He paused for a minute to think.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do but I’m gonna do something.” His voice was getting higher the more he spoke. "No wait, you look old enough to remember me, thank fuck. What the hell happened?"

Derek felt his head starting to throb painfully. “Stiles, just, stop for a second."

Stiles snapped his jaw shut and lifted his brows as a sign for Derek to go on.

Derek was trying to find a nice way to ask Stiles why he looked old, and who was the kid he was holding but he didn't come up with one, so he just blurted it out.

“Oh, shit. This really is like Mexico. So...Derek... -please don’t freak out about this, but, we... kind of, had another kid." Stiles winced.

Derek gaped back at him, another kid? That wasn't...he hadn't even...

"So, this little lady is Avalyn Laura Claudia Stilinski-Hale." Stiles went on. "We call her Ava. You know, to go with Eli? Also, you're calling me old, really? I'm probably around your age.” Stiles scoffed the last sentence, sounding wildly offended.

"I'll have you know that I look great!" He scowled.

"And you sure thought that this morning!" He added, very unnecessarily in Derek's opinion.

And Derek was speechless, because what in the ever-loving fuck was going on?

Then Stiles turned his head towards the kitchen, from which the thee men in there were looking at him, eyes wide.

“Oh, wonderful, there's more of you! Are me and Ava the only normal people around here?" He flailed dramatically, the toddler he was holding only let out a little snore, seemingly used to Stiles brandishing her around.

"What am I supposed to do with that? No, wait! Don’t answer that, you probably don’t know." Stiles slanted, nostrils flaring.

Stiles blew air out of his nose. "How old are you guys anyway?”

Just as Derek was opening his mouth to answer to the crazy man in front of him, Eli started speaking.

“I’m not your kid, Derek is my dad.” He frowned from the kitchen.

“We are both your dads. What the absolute fuck? Derek?” Stiles was looking back at Derek, wide eyed.

Derek could smell the panic that was now clinging to Stiles.

He wasn’t feeling much better himself, and felt like he was going to faint any second now.

“I’m a single dad.” Derek said, pointedly looking at Stiles. He felt nauseous and his heart was beating too fast.

“Okay, this is not funny anymore." Stiles frowned and looked back to Eli.

Seemingly deciding he'd had enough of them he took a deep breath and started. "Eli, we found you near the Nemeton when you were two years old. I was 21 at the time and Derek was 24. You smelled like Derek and me. We did a DNA test to confirm that you really were ours, and found out for sure that you are, indeed, our biological child. Our very own magic baby.” He smiled at Eli but his face was simultaneously twisted in a pinched and worried look that made the smile look borderline painful.

“What?” Eli shrieked. “Dad, what is he talking about? Is that true?”

“Of course it’s true!” Stiles exclaimed at the same time Derek said. “No, that never happened.”

“I don’t know what’s going on but Eli, listen to my heart, very carefully. You are my son, kiddo. Derek and I have raised you for fifteen years. You are a 17-year-old kid and your favorite thing to do is hanging out with your friends, preferably driving the Jeep around the town. You are a talented photographer.” Stiles’ heart didn’t jump to indicate a lie.

“You have not raised me and I’m fifteen. Also, I don’t have a licence.” Eli cried out. “This is really freaking me out!”

Stiles looked at Derek, presumably for help, but Derek couldn’t get past opening his mouth.

“Could this be an alternative universe?” Peter pondered, looking at Stiles with obvious fascination.

Stiles, whose smell had been driving Derek nuts, relaxed notably upon hearing him. “That is a great theory. Thank you Peter. I was about to have a heart attack. Now that you mention it, I have been sensing something weird for some time now.” He sounded relieved.

“So am I like, dead, in this Universe?” He continued bluntly.

“You are alive, son.” The Sheriff assured him.

“Then why am I not here, raising Eli? Am I a deadbeat dad?” Stiles frowned, face paling.

“I…you are not his dad.” Derek said, looking at Stiles. His heart rate spiked and Eli gasped. “What? What? Why did your heart do that? Dad? You are lying.”

“Well that is something I did not see coming.” Peter murmured, sounding a little bit surprised and positively delighted, the bastard.

“You want to tell us more about that Derek?” He required gleefully.

Derek glared at his piece of shit uncle.

“I, for one, would also like to hear more about that.” Noah exclaimed, standing up straighter.

And oh god, the Sheriff was there too.

Derek could feel his palms getting sweatier.

Everyone's eyes were planted on him.

Derek winced, looking at Eli.

Well, it wasn't like his stupid heart hadn't already given it away. “It's complicated. I found you by myself at the Nemeton when you were two years old. And you did smell like me, and Stiles. I just never…”

He swallowed. “I just never told anyone that part, and the smell faded, and I just...I don't know.” He finished lamely.

Eli was looking at him, tears burning in his eyes.

Derek stared right back at his crying son and cursed himself for every stupid decision he'd made that had led him to this situation.

“Why?!” Stiles belted out and the toddler that had been sleeping on his lap lifted her head grumpily.

“I’m confused, did you guys have sex at some point? Stiles was with Lydia when he was 18-years-old.” The Sheriff asked, sounding very disturbed.

Oh, Derek didn't want to think about the Sheriff, he wished that the couch cushions would swallow him whole so he wouldn't have to witness this horrible altercation.

“No, dad! We didn’t have sex. Eli was a magic baby and he just appeared! He's kinda like baby Jesus.” Stiles belted out.

Derek could feel the tips of his ears burning, this was awful.

“Just to be clear, was that sarcasm?” Noah asked, wincing slightly.

“It was not! Oh my god! Dad! I don’t cheat on people!” Stiles huffed.

So Stiles had been with Lydia in the other reality as well?

“This is so fucked up.” Eli mumbled and sat down on a chair.

“Is that why you never said anything about my mother?”

Derek nodded “I’m really sorry, kid.”

“You should be!” Stiles bellowed.

“You didn’t tell me I have a kid! Who the hell does that? Having Eli was the best thing that happened to me! And also having Ava.” He added the last bit a little later, almost as an afterthought, but his voice was serious and affronted, like he couldn't even think about things being any other way.

Derek supposed he couldn't.

“I’m sorry.” Derek said, and he really felt awful.

“So, speaking of the other child, was she also a magic baby?” Peter pondered venturing closer to Stiles to take a look at the girl.

Stiles looked back at him. “Yes, having her was totally unexpected and accidental, just like you Eli. Both totally happy ones, though!" He rushed to add.

"But that time we, uhm… definitely had sex. And it was like, an essential part to her being born. So I guess that's not going to happen in this reality.” Stiles held onto the kid a little tighter.

And didn’t that get Derek’s heart beating a lot faster than before.

Which Peter, of course noticed. “So, just out of curiosity, how did Ava come to be?”

Stiles frowned and chewed on his lower lip. “Did you guys also have the Nogitsune?”

Peter nodded.

“It came back, and Derek-, he died.” Stiles swallowed and the amount of dread that Derek was feeling increased enormously.

“Anyways...I brought him back, we had sex on top of the Nemeton and…I knocked you up.” As he was saying it, he turned to look at Derek apologetically.

No fucking way.

Derek stood up on shaky legs and made his way to the bathroom, emptying his stomach into the toilet bowl.

“Buddy, I got to tell you, you have the worst timing ever to be doing that.” Stiles stated from the bathroom door, sounding almost as nervous as Derek felt.

“You think?” Derek noted dryly in between heaving and wiping his face.

Chapter Text

“So, is the dinner still on?” Peter asked Derek, smirking while he popped into the bathroom where he was still rinsing his mouth.

Derek had, far too often, found himself wanting to kill his uncle (Once going as far as to actually executing his plan to do so). The reasons for wanting to kill him had varied from Peter simply annoying Derek, to him going on a psychotic rampage and killing Derek's sister.

However, the urge to kill Peter had been diminished to rare occasions in the more recent years.

Until now.

Derek had come a long way from the permanently angry, violent man he had been in his early twenties. But seeing Peter grinning at him from the doorway made his fingers itch, begging him to let his claws out and show Peter exactly how much he appreciated the other man enjoying this.

“Oh, come on, Derek! It’s not everyday that I find out I’m going to be an uncle!” Peter tutted, smirking deviously.

“If I’m going to have a baby, you will be a granduncle of two children. You know that that’s basically the same as being a grandpa, age wise anyway.” Derek gritted out, and to his satisfaction, that wiped the grin off Peters' face. Because if there was one thing that Peter Hale was, it was being vain as hell. Reminding Peter about his aging was an easy way to make the man feel insecure and the only thing that could truly raddle his self confidence.

Happy about his victory Derek added. “You know, some people call their granduncles grandcles, and I think we could very well be one of those people.”

Derek had totally just invented that term, but Peter didn’t have to know that.

Now Peter was positively scowling. “I’m just glad it wasn’t Malia Stiles knocked up.”

And, just like that, Derek's victory was nullified. He was also gagging again, stomach acid being the only thing left in him and tasting absolutely horrific coming up his throat.

“Yeah, you are probably not even pregnant. I’ll leave you to it.” Peter slanted before wandering off and leaving Derek to curse the day Peter came back from the dead. Peter wasn't the only guy Derek was cursing. How the hell was he supposed to tell Stiles about both Eli and the baby?

Hypothetical baby, he reminded himself. Although he couldn't help himself from remembering that the last time he'd thrown up was when he wasn't yet twenty and had been poisoned by a wolfsbane bullet.

And Derek still didn’t know if they were going to have that dinner or not.

—

They were having that dinner, since no-one had thought to cancel it and people had started appearing to the house.

They had decided that not sharing the new information with the pack was, for now, the best course of action.

Noah had gone back out to buy Derek a pregnancy test (and wasn't that a thing Derek thought would never happen) and the others had arrived shortly after, meeting the Stiles from the other universe.

He was sitting among the pack, his daughter clinging to him.

Ava was grumpy, because the pack's chatter had woken her up too early from her nap. She wouldn’t allow anyone but Stiles near her and systematically ignored the people trying to interact with her.

The pack was curious and at the same time cautious when it came to Stiles and Ava and they were trying to find out how their lives had turned out in the other reality. "Come on Stiles, you have to tell me what I am like there! Do I also wear sweaters like you?" Malia was whining and then offering Stiles her most dazzling smile. Derek tuned them out before hearing Stiles' answer and searched for Eli.

Eli was watching them from further away, sitting in an armchair in the corner of the living room. Derek sat down to a matching chair across from him.

“Hey…” He began.

“Don’t do that.” Eli gritted out, his eyes snapping to Derek.

“I don’t even know how to look at you right now and we are not going to pretend that nothing happened. So unless you want to talk about it right now, just, stop it.” He hissed.

Derek nodded and stood up. “I really am sorry, Eli.”

He looked at his son who was dutifully avoiding eye contact before walking into the kitchen to see if Peter and Parrish needed help in cooking and setting the table.

Thankfully, the nausea he'd been feeling had ebbed away and the smell of roasting meat and veggies no longer made him want to hurl.

He took out the plates and meticulously started laying them onto the table, trying to distract himself from the ascending feelings of dread and anxiety that were trying to overwhelm him.

“Hey! We are here to celebrate you so you should not have to help us in making dinner.” Parrish exclaimed nervously, glancing guiltily at Derek.

Him looking guilty was probably only partly due to the fact that Derek was helping and more about the whole ‘Parrish burning him alive two months ago’-thing.

“I can help.” Derek said, trying, and probably failing miserably, to give Parrish a reassuring smile. It wasn't that he felt any lingering resentment towards the man but more the fact that he was stressed the fuck out about the whole pregnancy thing and Eli finding out about Stiles.

“I don’t think…” Parrish started.

“Oh for god's sake, just let him help us.” Peter said, rolling his eyes, likely smelling the distress wafting from Derek, and making him suddenly stupidly grateful for having the annoying bastard in his life. For as much as Peter was a conniving piece of shit, he could also be quite considerate when he felt like it.

Not that Derek could really let him know that, opting instead to retrieve and place down the silverware.

Peter probably knew anyway judging by the subtle nudge he gave Derek when Parrish wasn’t looking.

“You can chop the bell peppers for the salad when you are done with those.” He instructed Derek.

—

The Sheriff came back a little before they started eating dinner, subtly handing Derek a plastic bag containing, not one, but three pregnancy tests which Derek then smuggled into the bathroom attached to his bedroom.

The whole situation felt surreal beyond any words that Derek could think of and so he chose to pretend that nothing was amiss and returned to the kitchen where the pack, and Stiles and Ava, were already spread around the table, easy chatter filling the air.

Derek sat in between his son and uncle, the latter of which plopped a steak on his plate.

The steak was looking a little more charred than the medium rare he usually had them as and he raised his eyebrows in inquiry to Peter, who shrugged.

“You told me that you were trying new things so I made it well done, just for you, dear nephew.” Peter looked at him pointedly.

Oh, right, because pregnant people weren't supposed to eat raw meat.

“Oooh! What new things are you trying?” Allison, who was sitting next to Scott and Chris, asked enthusiastically.

Enthusiasm wasn’t at all typical to the interactions that Derek had previously had with the woman.

The way she spoke to him now probably had something to do with the fact that she’d been Eli’s guardian for the two months Derek had been dead. Allison was making an effort to have a conversation with Derek which he thought was nice of her, but he didn't really have enough resources at the moment to spare for the ongoing conversation.

“Steak, apparently.” Derek replied dryly.

His answer made Scott rustle next to Allison, obviously wanting to say something when she hunched back into herself. Scott refrained from doing so when Allison shot him a look. Derek felt bad for making things awkward and he distracted himself by reaching for the mountain of roasted veggies and shoving some food in his mouth.

“How are you settling back to school, Eli?” Chris asked the boy, who was studiously cutting his steak into even, bite sized pieces.

“Good, good…I’m back in the lacrosse team and the coach is actually letting me play in the next game. I’m a bit behind in my economics class, but I think I’ll be able to catch up.” Eli answered him earnestly.

“That’s awesome, Eli!” Scott remarked, smiling dopily at the kid, who answered by giving him one of his own smiles, making Derek's heart swell up.

“Ewww…That is yucky!” Ava whined loudly from Stiles’ lap, pushing away the plate in front of her and spitting a slobbery, chewed piece of steak in Stiles’ hand.

“Hey! We don’t talk about food that way. If you don’t like the steak, you don’t have to eat it, but be nice about it. Look, there are carrots on your plate, you can eat them instead.” Stiles calmly stated, wiping his now drooly hand on a napkin and pushing the plate back in front of Ava.

The little girl huffed before taking a piece of carrot in her hand and biting into it reluctantly.

“Look, isn’t that good?” Stiles asked and ruffled the hair of the now happy toddler who was nodding vigorously.

“Lii can eat my yucky food daddy.” The girl said, smiling in Eli’s direction like she was doing him a huge favor.

“I think he wants to concentrate on eating his own food, kiddo.” Stiles said to Ava.

“Thanks for the offer, Ava, but I have my own steak and I don’t think I have room for another.” Eli looked at the toddler nervously.

Her big, serious brown eyes stared back at Eli.

“That’s thout’s okay, Lii.” She said with an adorable lisp.

Eli’s face twitched into an amused smile. “Awesome.”

He went back to eating and easy chatter filled the room once again.

Derek was staring at the little girl who had given up eating with the spoon and now had mashed carrots in both of her hands and all over her face.

She had dark and wavy hair with Stiles and Eli’s upturned nose and Stiles’ eyes, with mouth and eyebrows that could not be mistaken for anyone's but Derek’s.

She could be growing inside me right now, Derek thought, slightly hysterically, but for the first time he felt like he could have another kid and it would be okay. Even if the way it was (presumably! And just maybe) going to happen made his insides twist.

Someone tucked on Derek's hand.

“Why do you look weird papa?”

Derek's eyes snapped to the girl that had somehow sneaked beside him, her lip quivering in the same way Eli’s had done when he'd been dangerously close to a meltdown as a kid.

Derek opened his mouth to say something, but what it was he would never know since Stiles was faster to answer. “Papa got a haircut and trimmed his beard, pumpkin.”

"Wait, what does she mean, papa?" Scott asked, being entirely ignored.

“I don’t like it.” Ava sniffled and hid her face against Derek's side trying to climb in his lap.

Derek looked at Stiles for help but he just shrugged: “She wants you to hold her.”

Derek lifted Ava into his lap a little bit reluctantly and in doing so, got the first good whiff of the toddlers scent and recoiled.

“She’s human?” He asked Stiles, who narrowed his eyes, and looked at Derek hissing a confirmation through gritted teeth.

All the while Ava was stroking Derek’s cheeks with her dirty, carrot mushed hands and letting out distraught little noises. Derek assumed she was lamenting the loss of the other Derek’s supposed beard.

“Do you have something against humans, Derek?” Stiles asked him scowling.

What the hell was he doing?

Derek raised his eyebrows in challenge. “I do not.”

“Then what the absolute hel…ck was that?”

“Stop being mad at papa!” Ava glared at Stiles who snapped his mouth shut.

Derek swallowed and then answered Stiles quietly: “Humans break easily.”

“That's complete-, you know that if we look into the past of this pack, the deaths we’ve had have consisted almost entirely from the supernatural part of it, right? And humans are not ‘weak’ or whatever you were insinuating. We do not 'break easy'. And you will not sit there and say that we do.”

“She could d-i-e crossing the road, or sitting in a car, or get cancer, or have the same thing your mother had, or a million other things.” Derek was holding on to the now quiet toddler and rocking her soothingly, trying to calm himself at the same time.

“Alright, I think that’s quite enough from you two.” The sheriff commanded firmly and stood up.

“You worry about Eli any less?” Stiles inquired and Derek snapped his jaw shut blinking rapidly. Because of course he worried about him. But it wasn't the same thing.

“I’m terrified for him. And I can’t believe that this,” Derek gestured around himself wildly. “Is happening. Also, why are you not trying harder to get back to your own reality? They must be worried sick trying to find you.”

“My family knows that we are here, I can text them and they know we are okay. I think I was sent here by the Nemeton to give you guys some tips on how to do, probably all kinds of stuff, and it will take us back to our own word when the stupid tree is content with the work we’ve done."

"As for you being scared and uncertain about things; You should confirm the thing that you can. You have to also tell him, the sooner, the better.” Stiles took a shuddering breath, relaxing his tensed up shoulders.

“I'm sorry-, what the hell is going on?” Malia asked, frowning.

“Can I tell them?” Peter was practically levitating with glee.

Derek growled at his uncle in warning.

“Wait, how can you text to another universe?” Mason inquired.

“Magic.” Stiles grinned theatrically, doing an over exaggerated version of the jazz-hands.

Derek’s head had started pounding again and he stood up, placing Ava in Eli’s lap before retreating to his room to piss on some sticks.

Chapter Text

Derek was pacing.

The last three minutes had been the longest ones in his life.

Why couldn’t pregnancy tests show the results immediately?

He scowled at the tests that supposedly had to cook for two more minutes and started walking again.

Ever so often he would glance at the clock and see that it hadn’t moved.

How was that possible?

He frowned and looked back at the pregnancy tests.

Finally something had happened.

Derek picked one of the tests up, his heart hammering inside his chest. When he read it, his heart stopped all together.

The tests read as followed: two lines, a plus-sign and a text: pregnant.

Fuck.

Derek was fucked.

He was utterly fucked.

And not in a fun way.

Fuck.

Derek stood in the bathroom, freaking out, for thirty minutes, before gathering himself and walking back into the living room.

The crowd had diminished significantly, probably sensing that Derek wasn’t in a mood for socializing. The only ones left in the room were Eli, the Sheriff, Scott, Allison and Stiles and Ava.

“Are you okay, Derek?” Scott asked, frowning.

Derek opened his mouth to answer, but really, what could he say?

His vocal cords didn’t seem to register his decision not to answer, and they let out a high pitched, keening sound, that Derek, not even in his wildest imagination, had known he could be capable of uttering.

The people in the room were looking at him, wide eyed, some gaping and Derek had no idea on how to fix the situation.

Absolutely no comprehensible thoughts in his head that could be used to his advantage, to fix things. So he leaned against the nearest wall and slid down onto the ground.

“It’s gonna be okay, buddy.” Stiles said to him reassuringly, and wasn’t that the funniest thing Derek had ever heard. So he laughed, and it sounded crazed even to his own ears.

He had hidden the fact Stiles was Eli’s parent from his son, betraying him and probably scarring him for life.

Why had he been so stupid? He was going to have to tell Stiles, about Eli, and about the fact that he’d knocked Derek up.

How the hell was he supposed to tell Stiles that he had been lying to him for 13 years?

And who the hell was dumb enough to have sex on top of the Nemeton?

Why had he done that?

Well, he knew why.

And Oh, god, he was having a nervous breakdown in front of his son.

Suddenly the Sheriff was hovering over him. “Derek, you need to breathe. Take a deep one on the count of three. One…two…three…”

Derek gasped for air.

“Good, just like that, now keep breathing with me. When I say one, let it out, and on three, inhale.”

He did as he was told and bit by bit, it got easier and Derek started feeling like he was back in control.

“Thanks.” He gasped out as he felt his body relaxing and heartbeat slowing down.

The Sheriff squeezed his shoulder and smiled. “No problem, son.”

And hearing that almost made Derek cry. He didn’t, though.

“So I think this party is over.” Stiles said pointedly, ushering the concerned Scott and Allison out of the house.

“If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you!” Scott exclaimed through the door. Derek muttered back his thanks, before closing his eyes to gather himself some more.

Stiles had come back and was offering him a class of water which he gratefully gulped down before rising from the ground.

“So I’m guessing that the results were the ones we thought they were going to be.” Stiles noted.

“Yes, sorry for all this.” Derek muttered, looking at his son.

“I know you are sorry.” Eli replied flatly.

There was a lot of damage control Derek had to do to repay his past mistakes. But right now he couldn’t really concentrate in much of anything but how utterly drained he was feeling.

Stiles seemed to see that he was tired and needed to be alone for a while.

“Can we crash at your house? Because someone is going to have a fit if she finds out that her D-U-B-L-O-S are nowhere to be found. And also staying here would probably be a little too much for now.” Stiles asked, looking at the Sheriff.

“Yes, that’s okay by me.” Noah answered, aiming for nonchalant and cool.

On the inside he was beyond freaked out by the days events and, being an old man and all, only wanted to get some peace and quiet to wrap his head around the fact that he was now a grandpa, to potentially two children.

He guessed that it was best that the kids got to carry on with these things after a little break from each other. He felt disappointed in Derek for not telling Stiles about Eli (and worried about Stiles, who would soon find out about the fact), but Derek had enough things to worry about without Noah making him feel worse about his secrets. He would confront Derek when things had settled down and give him a stern talking to, but for now, he would support the poor man.

He couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to be in Derek’s shoes and he did feel sorry for the guy. It wasn’t everyday that a man found out he was pregnant.

And also, Noah had a grand-baby, and Eli was the best he could hope for. He really was a lot like Stiles in some ways, the both of them having similar sense of humor and, now that Noah thought about it, they did look a lot like each other.

“So I think we are gonna have a sleepover at grandpas!” The fake Stiles exclaimed, stopping Noah’s train of thought.

Stiles was smiling brightly at his daughter who was sitting on the ground and playing with Eli’s old turtle plushie that someone had dug up for her from the Hales’ storage.

“Yay, a sleepover!” Ava wailed excitedly, holding the plushie above her head.

“Yeah, I think that we should actually start leaving now so we can stop by a store to get some necessities for the night. And for the coming days, since it seems like we’re stuck here.” Stiles said, pointedly looking at the Sheriff, who stood up from the couch nodding at Stiles.

“Okay, then! Bye everyone, we’ll see you again tomorrow.” Stiles said, smiling warmly at Eli, before scooping up Ava and walking out.

“It’s gonna be okay, kiddo. I’ll come by tomorrow.” Noah said gruffly, clapping Eli in the back, and doing the same for Derek before following Stiles and Ava to the exit and pulling on his jacket.

Jesus, his life was weird.

—

Derek stood in his room, his thumb hovering over Stiles’ name.

Just like ripping a bandaid, he thought, and pressed the call-button.

The phone rang twice before Stiles answered.

“Hi. I’m a little surprised to be hearing from you.” He said, voice neutral.

“Are you still in Sacramento?” Derek asked, going for a similar tone of voice but sounding a lot more nervous.

“Yeah, why? What’s up?”

“Everybody's okay but I need you to come back to Beacon Hills for a bit. I need to tell you something.” Derek said, chewing his lip.

“You can’t say it over the phone?” And Derek could practically see the raised eyebrows Stiles was sporting.

“I can’t.” He gritted out.

“Okay, okay, I’ll come by tomorrow. How’s six pm?” Stiles asked, sounding worried.

“It's fine, I’ll meet you at the loft.” Derek said.

Derek's old loft was empty so that the pack that was living elsewhere, could use it to sleep when they visited Beacon Hills.

Now Derek could feel Stiles raised eyebrows. “Okay, I’ll see you at six.”

"See you."

Chapter Text

“So what was so important I had to drive back from Sacramento and meet you in here?” Stiles asked, walking behind Derek and looking at him sharply.

“I think you should sit down for this.” Derek said, looking at him nervously.

“Okay.” Stiles cocked his eyebrow sitting on the couch.

Derek took a deep breath, trying to praise himself for the inevitable.

“You remember when I got Eli?”

Stiles smiled at him crookedly. “Yes, Derek, I do remember that. You were kind of a mess.”

“You remember how I got him?” Derek pressed.

Now Stiles was frowning “I do. You'd hooked up with someone, who then decided that she didn’t want to keep being Eli’s parent and she gave him to you."

"Why are you asking me this?”

“I lied about Eli’s mom. He doesn’t have one.” Derek grimaced as he continued on.

Stiles' frown was growing. “Wait, how is that possible? Why would you lie about that?”

“Stiles-, When I was 24 I went for a run to the Preserve. It was September, the second day of the month. I was trying to clear my head, and wasn’t really paying attention on where I was going. I accidentally ended up running to the Nemeton."

"When I got there, I heard someone's heart beating, but I couldn’t see anyone. I decided to find them.”

He closed his eyes. “It didn’t take long. When I rounded the tree I saw a little toddler, leaning, asleep, onto the tree."

Derek swallowed thickly. "Eli was so small, he couldn’t have been more than two years old and he was dressed in only a t-shirt and shorts, even though it was a cold day. When I got near him and smelled him for the first time, I knew he was my kid.”

Stiles was looking at him expectedly.

Derek took a deep breath and prepared himself for the upcoming words. “But I wasn’t the only one he smelled like, Stiles.”

He looked pleadingly at Stiles, who'd gone deathly pale, and was shaking his head.

“Stiles-, Eli is your son.” Derek forced out.

Stiles let out a small, breathless: “Oh!”

He shot up from the couch and took his head between his hands.

When that didn’t help to muffle the raging flood of questions in his head, he started pacing.

“What? -I mean…how? How is that even possible?"

"Why the hell would you keep that from me?” Stiles couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Why would Derek do that?

He looked at the man sitting on the couch.

Derek was staring back at him helpless look on his face. He'd never looked so small before.

“I was being selfish. I was so scared of what would happen if you’d find out.” He whispered.

“That’s…I can’t believe you! Just, why? I would've helped you! I would’ve been there!” Stiles had lost thirteen years on being a dad (and holy shit, he was a dad!) and that was all Derek’s fault.

“When you died, you left Eli to Scott!"

"Not even when you died did you trust me to take care of him!” Stiles yelled out, disbelieving.

“I didn’t leave Eli to Scott. I didn’t think I was going to die. I hadn’t made any arrangements in case I did. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust you. I just didn’t think I’d have to make that kind of decision.”

“Why wouldn’t you think that? You are a single parent living in Beacon Hills! -The Beacon Hills part of it should make dying a lot more seriously considered possibility!” Stiles cried out.

“I didn’t think it would happen to me!” Derek yelled back at him.

Stiles took a deep breath to calm himself down. This stupid fucking idiot.

"You left my son to my best friend. If I hadn't brought you back, he would be raising Eli." Stiles had never before felt so betrayed.

“How did you even hide it, if the others could smell that he was mine?” Stiles asked him.

“I went to visit Cora in South America and only came back when the smell of you had faded.”

“Why would you do that?? Why didn’t you tell me?!” Stiles bellowed, beyond angry again, despite his best efforts to stay calm.

“I thought that I was doing the right thing. You were with Lydia.”

Derek wasn’t sure that that was true. God only knew he had felt guilty for not telling neither Stiles or Eli. But he’d been so scared and confused about the whole thing he'd thought it best to just brush it under the rug.

And then time had gone by and he’d thought it was too late to tell. They had all settled into their new lives. Stiles had left Beacon Hills with Lydia and they'd only seen each other in passing months, sometimes going more than half a year without talking.

A big part of the reasons he hadn’t wanted to tell anyone was also the questions he was sure he would’ve gotten about why Eli was both his and Stiles’, afraid that people would find out about his feelings towards the other man.

In other words, Derek was a selfish coward.

“You thought that not telling me was 'the right thing' to do?” Stiles demanded.

“I mean, do you hate me? Because the explanation you gave me is utter bullshit.” And Stiles was crying; fat, ugly tears.

How the hell could this have happened?

“You were finally happy again, engaged to Lydia, living your life. You had your dream job and your life was fucking perfect.” Derek looked at Stiles pleading for him to understand.

It was horrible seeing and smelling Stiles so distressed, and it was all Derek’s fault.

“That’s the shittiest excuse I have ever heard!” Stiles exploded. “Do you think that knowing about Eli would make me miserable? You chose to raise him alone, because, -what? I wasn’t good enough?” Stiles’ voice broke on the last words.

“And all that time you-, you pretended that nothing was wrong? That you were my friend?” Stiles was sobbing now, his whole body heaving by the force of his crying and his hands shaking as he paced a circle in the middle of the loft, having to stop at times when his sobs got too violent.

Derek was looking back at him helplessly. “It wasn’t because of you, I just...I couldn’t...”

“Oh, fuck you, Derek! I can’t even-” Stiles caught himself off, wiping furiously at his eyes and taking a few, deep breaths trying to calm down.

He hadn’t known that his heart could shatter in this many pieces.

He looked down to the sofa where Derek was still sitting. “No one has ever hurt me like this. In fact, I didn’t know that I could be hurt like this.”

Derek flinched and said nothing, staring back at Stiles, now also crying.

“I thought you were my friend.” Stiles whispered, softly.

And that felt worse than him yelling.

Derek wiped at the tears running down his face. “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck your sorry.” That was also said softly, defeated and so not like Stiles that it terrified Derek.

Stiles had also stopped pacing, standing now almost eerily still. The only time you could see him moving, was when he took a shuddering breath.

“Stiles, that isn’t all.” Derek gritted out, still crying.

“There’s more?! What more could there possibly be?” Stiles smiled sardonically at him, eyes blazing, starting his pacing again.

And Derek felt a little relieved that Stiles wasn’t looking like the dried out husk of a person he had looked just moment ago.

“I’m having a baby.” Derek said, with calmness that he wasn't feeling.

Stiles halted his pacing to blink at Derek. “Well, congratulations, Derek! That is… Truly. Fucking. Amazing. Good job! I’m so very happy for you." He paused.

"No, really, that’s so fucking great! I’d ask you who’s the lucky lady, but there probably isn’t one.” He said, venom dripping from every word.

Derek glared at him. “Well, you’d be correct. Because I’m the one that’s pregnant.”

Stiles' heart stopped for a moment before continuing it's, too fast, beat.

Had Derek gone mad?

“Oh yeah? Well, isn't that special? Since the last time I checked, you didn’t have a vagina.”

“Yes, you have acute observation skills.” Derek stated flatly.

Stiles brushed his comment aside. “So you only told me about Eli because of this? I mean that seems about right."

"Tell me, how did you even come to the conclusion that you are pregnant?”

“I took three tests.”

Stiles took a shuddering breath. “You have taken a pregnancy test?"

"You know you could have cancer instead. Sometimes cancer gives you a false positive pregnancy test result. I think that could be a thing that's happening.” Stiles noted, a tad desperately.

“I don’t get sick.” Derek pointed out.

“You don’t get pregnant!” Stiles yelled at him.

“We also have visitors, from another reality, who have made quite compelling arguments to support the pregnancy theory.”

“From another reality? That’s legit? Since when?" Stiles asked, momentarily distracted.

"Who are they, and also, you probably shouldn’t believe them.” Stiles frowned.

Derek wasn't sure on how to start unpacking all that so he started the easiest way he could think of. “You and our two year old daughter, Ava.”

“That seems totally believable.” Stiles said nodding his head sarcastically.

“You can meet them, they are staying in your dad’s house for now.”

“And why are they here?”

“I don’t really know.”

Stiles felt like his head was going to explode from all the information he’d been given in the last half hour.

“Can I see Eli? Does he know about me?” Suddenly he felt desperate. Did Eli even want to see him? Or for him to be his dad?

“He found out yesterday. I’ll ask him.” Derek said, reaching for his phone to text his son.

"Thank you." Stiles said quietly. What the hell was happening? He thought it best to concentrate in only one of the, enormous, new things he'd found out, at a time.

Now the most pressing one was Eli. He couldn't really even think about the supposed pregnancy.

Well, maybe just for a minute. "Just, we should get an appointment for an ultrasound later. I think Melissa or Liam's dad could do it." He muttered disheartened and Derek nodded at him.

Then they just sat on the couch in silence. To Stiles' surprise, it wasn't a bad one, just tired. And for now, he was okay with that.

He was just so tired he couldn't find it in him to feel resentment towards Derek, not for now anyways.

Chapter Text

Stiles walked into the Hale house behind Derek.

He was feeling more nervous than he could ever remember being.

He hung his jacket in the hallway closet, his heart beating fast and the palms of his hands sweating profusely.

Stiles was trying to relax, but couldn’t make it happen.

Derek looked back at him, offering him a reassuring smile which Stiles didn’t find the least bit helpful but that was to be expected.

Together they made their way to the living room.

Eli was standing there, looking unsure and clasping his hands together and Stiles’ heart that had been beating out of control before, seemed to double its efforts in its attempt to beat right out of his chest.

Eli’s gaze snapped to Stiles.

And Stiles was just staring back at him, mouth hanging open, before finally snapping it shut and uttering. “Can I hug you?”

Eli nodded carefully and was suddenly engulfed in the arms of the older man.

Carefully he wrapped his own arms around Stiles.

“I’m so sorry.” Stiles whispered to him and Eli could smell the salty tears that were stinging Stiles’ eyes.

Eli swallowed thickly and hugged him back harder.

Stiles couldn't think of anything to say, but he could feel his heart rate slowing down and felt a lot calmer than just moments before.

The whole situation felt surreal and he found himself wanting to count his fingers to assure that this was really happening. And so that’s what he subtly did.

He had all of his ten fingers.

Stiles Stilinski had a son.

Eli wanted to jump out of his skin.

He couldn’t believe that in the last two months he’d gotten his dad back.

Finding out about having another parent besides that was a lot to handle and he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel things. He did, and it was conflicting as fuck.

In moments he felt ready to give Stiles a chance at being a parent, then he felt resentment towards him, betrayed by his dad, overall sad and beyond freaked out by everything.

And he wasn’t only coming to terms with those feelings. Oh, no!

He’d just recently started shifting and boy was that a mindfuck of its own.

And the baby?

He was not surprised that his dad was having sex with a man, but the fact he was having sex at all. He hadn't seemed interested in having a relationship, like, ever.

Also, the baby!

And the fact that he was apparently created out of thin air, that wasn’t a walk in the park either.

Coming back to Beacon Hills and his old school was also putting Eli through the ringer, but he was happy to be around all of his old friends.

He sighed and held on to Stiles more firmly.

Stiles smelled nice, relaxing, like pine trees and something sweet.

And despite the fact that Eli hadn’t seen him around that often, he felt safe with him. Maybe it was the results of the newly awaken wolfy-instincts.

—

Later, when Derek had gone to work to give Stiles and Eli some time to talk, they were sitting in the kitchen and browsing through Eli’s baby pictures.

The pictures were glued on different photo albums and Stiles found himself imagining Derek carefully arranging the photos of Eli on the pages.

He stopped that, however, as soon as he realized what he was doing and concentrated again onto the task at hand.

There was a picture of a grinning Eli, missing a good portion of his teeth.

“Aww...look at you being adorable.” Stiles pointed at the picture.

Eli glanced at the photo. “I was six when that was taken. Me and dad were going shopping for school supplies and I tripped and knocked out both my front teeth. That picture was taken right after he told me about the tooth fairy existing.”

Just another thing he lied to me about Eli thought bitterly and turned the page violently.

Stiles took a deep breath. “I can’t imagine how you are feeling right now, kiddo.”

Stiles swallowed before continuing. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you if you ever want to talk. And there is no pressure on you. Whatever you want to do, however you want to go on with this, I’ll support you. I’m really sorry I wasn’t there for you before, but I will be, if you let me. I would be honored to be your dad someday and I more than get that it’s not today, or maybe ever, but if you’re okay with me trying, I will.”

He smiled cautiously at Eli, feeling a little hopeful, and a lot terrified, wrecked and desperate.

Stiles could only hope that Eli couldn’t yet decipher the emotions by smelling his chemo signals, cause Stiles' current once were sure to be a lot, for anybody.

Eli was quiet for a while, just staring at Stiles, who swallowed again nervously.

Then he nodded.

“I think I’d be okay with…with you trying.” He croaked out.

“Okay, thank you.” Stiles mumbled and offered Eli a blinding smile, before flipping onto a new page on the photo album and concentrating back on the pictures. He felt so happy his heart would surely burst right out of his chest any second now. And terrified, he felt terrified.

"How come your eyes don't flash in the photos?" He asked the kid.

They are taken without the flash." Eli told him.

Stiles nodded.

“What do you like to do?” Stiles asked Eli after a while had passed.

“I play lacrosse and a lot of video games. I also like photography. And driving.” He shrugged.

“Would you like to do some of that together? You can’t have a learners permit yet, you’re not old enough, but I would like to do the other stuff.” Stiles asked.

And wow was it fun how he was feeling like a nervous wreck once again.

“Yeah, okay.” Eli answered, sounding indifferent.

Stiles didn’t let that discourage himself, opting instead on checking his calendar to see when he wasn’t working.

“We could play lacrosse this weekend? On Saturday? We could ask some of the pack to play with us as well, if you want to.” That could be good, it wouldn’t put too much pressure on Eli.

“Sounds good.” Eli said, smiling faintly and Stiles grinned back at him.

He totally counted that as a win.

Stiles flipped to the next page of the album.

Chapter Text

Derek was sitting in the waiting room of Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital prenatal care unit and staring at the posters depicting fetuses and pregnant women. Stiles was in the chair next to him flipping through a pamphlet about prenatal vitamins and bouncing his leg nervously.

They had now been waiting for their appointment for 20 minutes and Derek was feeling restless and uneasy about the extended waiting period. Stiles wasn’t fairing much better. He was now tapping his fingers on his chair's metal surface and humming a tune that was slowly driving Derek nuts.

Just as he was about to snap at Stiles to stop it, Melissa came barging through the swinging doors of the hospital in her ruffled scrubs and messy ponytail.

“Oh good, you’re still here. I’m sorry I’m late. There was a trauma in the ER that I had to assist with that ran a little long. Just follow me.” She hurried in one of the rooms, keeping the door open for Derek and Stiles.

“Just sit down wherever.” Melissa instructed them before breezing by to open her computer and typing on it furiously.

“So Stiles already informed me of the situation. I can only imagine it’s a lot. Derek, how have you been feeling?” She barreled on when they had situated themselves in the chairs facing Melissa’s desk.

Derek chewed on his lip. “I don’t really know…I guess, overwhelmed?”

“Well that’s totally understandable.” Melissa nodded. “Any discomfort, nausea, are you tired?”

“Uh...yes to both being tired and nauseous. I have been sleeping a lot and throwing up a little. I don’t know how much is actually because of the pregnancy and what is just me coming back to life.”

“Well, both of those things sound normal symptoms of pregnancy, especially this early on. You could try eating plain foods and fruit to help reduce the nausea. For the tiredness, you should get plenty of rest. It’s hard work growing a whole person inside you.”

Melissa frowned.

“Now, normally when we do ultrasounds at seven weeks, it’s done trans-vaginally, but I have come to the understanding that that isn’t possible in your case. Am I correct?”

Derek nodded and pondered if Stiles had informed Melissa that Derek was only equipped with a dick and an asshole. He wanted to sink trough the floor and felt his ears reddening at the thought.

“So I’m going to do an external ultrasound. It’s not going to be as accurate as the internal one and I’m not sure that we’ll be able to see the embryo yet. But even if we can’t do that, I can see other important things, like the one where we confirm that you have the reproductive organs that one needs to grow a baby. If I can see the embryo, I’d also like to take some measurements to make sure that everything is developing as it should be. Does that sound okay?”

Derek mumbled affirmatively and Melissa smiled at him.

“Great, you can just lay down on that bed.”

Shuffling on the paper covered bed was the most uncomfortable and awkward experience Derek had had in a long time and he stared at the ceiling morosely.

Stiles was hovering next to him, the anxious smell of him offending Derek’s nostrils.

“Could you lift up your shirt? I need to put some gel on your belly to do the ultrasound.” Melissa explained to him and he compiled.

The gel felt cold on his stomach and he winced a little, not expecting it. Melissa spread it and clicked the machine on.

After moving the probe around for a while she stopped and mumbled. “So there is a uterus. Just let me get a closer look.”

She was adjusting the controls, frowning a bit and Stiles was looking at the screen, his heart hammering loudly.

“There!” Melissa exclaimed triumphantly and froze the picture. “That’s the gestational sac right there and that,” She pointed at the little blob of white in the frozen screen, “Is the baby.”

Derek paled. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t already known that he was pregnant, but having visual confirmation made it feel a lot more real. Not that the picture looked like much.

“Is it supposed to look like a hamster?” Stiles asked curiously, staring at the little blob on the screen.

Melissa lifted the transducer probe and shot Stiles a blistering look that Derek mirrored.

“But it does! That was an important question!” Stiles argued.

He took a long, shuddering breath before continuing. “Well, I can honestly say that this is not something that I thought to prepare myself for when I decided to have sex with you, buddy.”

Derek wanted to curl in on himself with mortification. He really didn't want Stiles talking about them having sex in front of Scott's mum, and was sure that his ears were now shining bright red.

Derek hated it when Stiles called him buddy. It reminded him that Stiles didn’t think of him in the same way Derek thought about him. And the fact that he didn’t deserve Stiles feeling that way about him.

“There are, obviously, going to be some chances that your body will go through. If you choose to continue the pregnancy.” Melissa started, bypassing Stiles’ ramblings.

Derek thought of the little girl with her big, serious brown eyes before taking a deep, calming breath.

“I want to have the baby."

Stiles let out a shuddering, and a bit panicked breath.

"But if I’m going to start lactating, I will kill somebody.” Derek said flatly.

“You know, in that case, I know who you should kill: The Nemeton. Remember, the one that’s responsible for all of this.” Stiles blabbed, gesturing wildly between himself and Derek.

Derek glared at him.

“I honestly have no idea if that’s going to happen or not. It's theoretically possible for men to lactate, but that usually has to be induced by hormone therapy or extremely rough circumstances. It doesn’t seem probable, but then again, neither does any of this. And you do have the pregnancy hormones that induce…-Anyways, you shouldn't worry about that yet.” Melissa said calmly.

That didn’t really inspire confidence in Derek.

“Well, dude, I for one, totally get that you are worried about that. I mean, fuck. Also, another thing that we should worry about: How the hell is it going to come out of you?”

Shit, Derek hadn’t really thought about that.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.” Melissa said soothingly. “We have a lot of time to figure that out.”

Then more sternly. “Stiles, can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

Stiles nodded and stood up.

They walked into the waiting room and Melissa turned towards Stiles.

“What do you think you’re doing?” She demanded, hands on her hips.

There were only a few things in life that scared Stiles more than Melissa McCall did when she was scolding him.

“I’m thinking! Important, relevant, pressing things!” Stiles exclaimed defensively.

“I’ll tell you what you will do. You’ll march your ass right back in that room and stop freaking him out. You’ll tell him that it’s going to be alright. You’ll stop saying that the baby looks like a rodent. And you will hold his hand when I do the ultrasound again to check that everything is going as it should be.”

Stiles opened his mouth to argue.

“A!” Melissa raised her finger at him menacingly.

“Is that clear Stiles?”

He opened his mouth again and Melissa raised her eyebrows.

“Is that clear?"

“I was gonna say yes!” Stiles lied.

Melissa raised her eyebrows skeptically.

“Just imagine you were pregnant. What would you feel like?” She cited before opening the door to the operation room again.

“Hey, I’m just going to keep you for a little while longer, I need to get some more measurements to make sure that everything is going okay.” Melissa smiled at Derek who was still lying on the bed, browsing a magazine.

Stiles sat down next to Derek and resolutely took his hand on his own. Derek frowned at him and tried to pull it away before Stiles sighed.

“Please, just let me.”

And so he relaxed and he did let him.

Stiles’ hand was warm and dry and reassured Derek on a level he was never going to admit to anyone.

But he did gently squeeze Stiles' hand back.

“So, everything seems to be progressing well. The gestational sac is 22 mm, which is very good, and confirms that you are, indeed, seven weeks along. Can you see that pulsing thing, right over there? It’s the baby's heartbeat.”

There really was a little part of the blob that was beating rhythmically. Seeing it made both Stiles and Derek want to bawl their eyes out.

“Would you like pictures?” Melissa asked and the both of them nodded.

She printed a few and gave them to the men.

“I’d like to see you again in a follow up appointment in six weeks. How is Friday at three o'clock for you?”

“That’s okay.” Derek nodded.

“Okay, good. Are you aware of the chances of dietary requirements in pregnancy?”

Derek nodded. He’d googled that after the steak incident.

He could use the internet, unlike Stiles thought.

“Do you have any questions for me before I let you out of here?”

“I think that was enough new information for now.” Derek replied tiredly.

Stiles opened his mouth to argue.

“Here are some pamphlets about the important things you should be aware of during pregnancy.” Melissa stated and thrusted the pile to Stiles, who eagerly took them all and started flipping through them.

“Thanks Melissa.”

“You’re welcome. And don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” She smiled at them encouragingly before giving them both firm hugs and opening the door for them to walk out.

Derek wasn't so sure that they would.

Chapter Text

In recent years Noah Stilinski had begun to wonder if he was getting too old for the whole supernatural aspect of his life. The idea of that had further strengthened, when in the morning, he’d been woken up before five AM to his granddaughter from another universe whispering in his ear. “Grandpa, can we go to the garden to get some primroses for the Nemeton?”

In what world did a two-year-old even know about different species of flowers?

The Stilinski's backyard wasn't exactly famous for its flourishing vegetation so it was highly unlikely that there would be any flowers for the girl to pick. Also, Why would they give flowers to that creepy old tree?

And that’s how Sheriff Stilinski had found himself in the garden before six AM, desperately trying to find something that would appease the now cranky kid, who was apparently used to a better range of choices in her flower picking hobby.

Later, after his other visitor had finally risen, they’d made lunch and a bit after that Stiles had informed him that he and Ava were going to spend the day in the Preserve and the Beacon Hills library.

Soon after that, he had hoisted up his daughter, whose little fists were packed with weeds that Noah and she had managed to find from the garden earlier, and left.

The Sheriff was enjoying his much deserved day off with a cup of steaming hot, black coffee and a Sudoku (which Stiles had mailed him for Christmas with an article about brain health and old people, which Noah, being a good dad, had dutifully flicked through) when someone rang his doorbell.

Stiles stood in the other side of the door.

“It’s nice to see you, son. You haven’t really been around much.” Noah scolded when he opened it for the tired looking man ringing his doorbell. This time it was the right one.

Stiles had rang the doorbell.

Oh, how the times had changed.

It made Noah want to slam the door shut and demand Stiles to dig up the keys he knew the boy still had to the house, or at least use a window or break the lock of the back door.

Who knew he could feel this ruffled over the fact that his baby had moved out. And stayed away for so long.

If Noah was being entirely honest with himself, maybe it could be guessed.

He was being quite the asshole.

“Oh, passive aggressive! That’s just how I like to start my day.” Stiles stated with fake enthusiasm.

“Three and a half years, Stiles.” The sheriff scolded.

Stiles squirmed and gritted his teeth. “Dad…come on, -you know why. I’ve had a lot going on. My job keeps me busy and after the divorce I just needed some time to process.”

“So you shut everyone out. You didn’t even really speak to Scott. You haven’t been home in three and a half years, Stiles.” His dad sighed.

“Yeah…well…I’m sorry dad. I just…I couldn’t see anyone. I just felt like the biggest failure of all time. I didn’t even know that she wasn’t happy, that she didn’t…want me anymore. I just, -I was in a really bad place and, honestly, I thought it best to stay away.” Stiles swallowed thickly, biting his lip.

“I just wish you wouldn’t have shut me out. I hope you know that I’m here for you. I’m really sorry that you didn’t feel like you could come here. You can always come home, son.” The sheriff said gruffly.

He’d probably gotten something stuck in his throat, it was making his eyes sting.

“It wasn’t that, dad. I know I can. I just…I just didn’t want to. I needed to be alone.”

To be honest, Stiles could barely remember the first year after Lydia had suddenly packed up her packs and informed him that she was unhappy and leaving, just like that. 15 years, like it was nothing.

Stiles had been so happy as well. He’d thought that they had been happy. The fact that losing the people he loved was Stiles’ greatest fear, hadn’t really been helpful in the whole recovery process either and had, instead, made him curl up into himself.

He’d tried to distract himself by having sex with strangers, which, to be fair, had worked, for a while anyway.

The sex as his primary coping mechanism had started when he’d been assigned to London and, by a weird twist of fate, stumbled into Jackson and Ethan who’d been on their way to some club to celebrate one of their friend’s birthday. Stiles had accompanied them and gotten himself off in the bathroom with the first guy he’d seen that evening.

It could’ve had something to do with Jackson taunting him for his lack of experience as a bi-man and definitely had something to do with him trying to get back at Lydia in some fucked up way.

It had been the start of a long list of one night stands that had kept on growing for the first year after the divorce. And then, as soon as it had begun, it had stopped. As in full-on, no sex for Stiles, -stopped.

Having Lydia leave him had made Stiles withdraw from his other loved ones as well. Because, fear of rejection, hello! Or something else equally as fucked up and irrational.

He’d finally admitted to himself that he wasn't acting very maturely and had started going to therapy, which had helped, a lot, but Stiles had still been delaying his visit back to his hometown.

When Stiles finally had come back to Beacon Hills to bring Derek back, he’d remembered his buried feeling for the guy and just gone for it, breaking his heart, again. Clearly, his earlier inclination of celibacy could have been useful to hold onto.

“Dad!” He gasped.

The Sheriff seemed to sense his distress engulfing him into his arms.

“It’s going to figure itself out, son.” Noah mumbled into his crying kid's ear.

Stiles started laughing, an ugly, manic sound, before breaking out in wretched sobs. Sure it would.

Noah felt guilty, because having Stiles break down in his arms made him a little bit happy and relieved about the fact that he was there, and that Noah was still needed in his son's life. Feeling joy while his son was sobbing in his arms probably wasn’t considered good parenting, so he quickly stifled the feeling.

When Stiles’ sobbing had somewhat diminished Noah swallowed. “You know, the divorce wasn’t your fault son. And Derek not telling you about Eli wasn’t your fault.”

Saying that was apparently the exact wrong thing to say, because it made Stiles’ wailing start up again. Noah patted his back helplessly and held onto his son, making soothing noises and rocking him slightly.

—

Later Stiles poured them both a drink of whiskey in the chill winter air.

The Sheriff was sitting on the back veranda and after setting the Bulleit Bourbon onto the wooden deck of the veranda, Stiles sat down next to his dad, sighing.

“Uh…Well, -dad -There is a conversation that-”

“I know about Derek.” Noah stopped him and took a drink of his whiskey.

“About Eli? T´And the pregnancy?” Stiles ensured.

“Yes, I didn’t tell you about it, because I thought it was important that he did it himself.” His dad said calmly, pouring himself another glass. The conversation called for it.

“I mean…okay. Any advice for me? I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

His dad clapped him on the shoulder. “Nobody does. You just have to try to be there. Honestly, I don’t know. I guess I got lucky that you turned out the way you did.”

Stiles snorted. "Is that supposed to be comforting?"

Noah shrugged and they let the silence stretch over them.

“Dad, I have a teenage son, and I will also have a baby. You know, you’re a grandpa.” Stiles stated, wide-eyed.

“Yeah.”

They sat there in silence for a while.

“You know, I have the ultrasound picture. Wanna see?”

The Sheriff nodded and Stiles took the photo out of his pocket offering it to his dad.

Noah looked at the photo. “That looks like a hamster.”

“Yeah.”

They sat there enjoying the crisp winter breeze. It was nice, the feeling of belonging there grounding Stiles in a way that he hadn’t felt in a long time.

His dad smiled at him bemused. “You know, I don’t know how I didn’t see that Eli is your kid. You two are so alike, you look the same, he’s loyal and stubborn and a little bit too smart for his own good. Maybe that's why I always liked him so much, because he reminded me of you.”

Stiles smiled wistfully. He really hoped it wouldn’t be too late to get to know his son and really be his parent.

There was another pause in the conversation in which the men just breathed in the cold winter air.

“So you've been staying at the loft, right? When do you have to leave again?” Noah asked Stiles.

Stiles nodded. “I’ve got the week off. Don’t know how I’m going to make this work.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Noah squeezed his son's arm encouragingly.

“I hope so.”

Chapter Text

A little past seven PM the door to the Stilinski house was thrown open and a tiny human flashed by Stiles and Noah, roaring menacingly and attacking the couch cushions with abandon.

Behind the wavy haired girl, a ruffled looking Stiles shuffled into the house and froze when he saw himself, already sitting at the table.

“Hi.”

“Hello. What’s up man?”

Shit, this was weird.

“Not much, had a bit of a day. Ava has been fed already, could you take her to bed?” The other Stiles answered, directing the latter words to Noah, who nodded and stood up.

“You can sing me a lullaby!” The girl sang and dragged the Sheriff towards the stairs.

“I don’t know if I know any.” The Sheriff answered.

“You do! The polith ones!” Ava insisted.

Stiles had forgotten about those.

Oh god, it was trippy seeing Ava and imagining him soon having his own version of the girl.

Stiles looked at the toddler with wide eyes. She hadn’t even noticed him, and was now humming “Bajka Iskierki”, a song Stiles remembered his parents singing him when he was little. Would he have sung it to Eli? Stiles felt his heart clench.

He watched Ava climb up the stairs with his dad before turning towards his other self.

“Soooo…You want to tell me a bit about your life?” Because Stiles was nothing if not curious about the opportunity that was presenting itself.

“What do you want to know?”

“You are married to Derek, right? I mean, how did that happen?”

It was hard for Stiles to imagine a universe in which Derek was his husband, more so than ever before.

“Well, not immediately, -I was still with Lydia when we became parents. But you know, -she never wanted kids, so we broke up pretty soon after that. Derek and I started dating when Eli was 7, and got married when he was eleven, so-” The other man counted in his head. “-We’ve been married for almost seven years. We had been talking about getting married for some time and then we just, -did. It was a small event, just family and friends. Eli was the page boy.”

Stiles nodded. “How did you and Derek co-parent when Eli was little and you weren’t together?”

“We had a duplex near the Preserve and Eli kinda sailed between us. He had a bedroom in both houses and we did a lot of things together as a family but also got to have our own space. And help was always near. That really worked out for us.”

Stiles considered that for a moment. “That’s good to know. Are you still in the FBI?”

Stiles scratched his beard (which, weird that he had one) and nodded. “Yeah, though I mostly teach nowadays. I can do it from Beacon Hills and it works well with the kids. I still do work trips occasionally and had actually just returned from one when I ended up here, so Ava was a little clingy for the first few days.”

It was so odd hearing his other self describing his everyday life. It was so different from Stiles’ own that it made him feel slightly like he was in a dream.

Stiles gathered his courage to ask himself the next question.“When did you know? That you loved him.”

Stiles raised his eyebrows. “When did you?”

Which, not cool.

He knew the answer though. It had been in Mexico, when he’d been seventeen. Both their girlfriends had been there. Stiles had noticed he had feelings for Derek when he'd been shot and was dying on the sand.

Truly an awesome moment to have that realization.

And then Stiles had left Derek there to die. With Braedon, but still. Stiles wasn't sure if he’d been in love with Derek but he had loved him. Not that he'd examined his feelings towards the man that deeply, especially knowing that nothing would happen. Even still Stiles was almost positive that Derek had felt something for him as well. Not that he would've done anything about it. Not when Stiles had been seventeen and Derek almost twenty-one.

“So I think we should talk about the pregnancy.” Stiles changed the subject because it was no fun to think about Derek dying. Or his feelings for the man. “Were there any complications that happened? How was Ava born?” Because that was probably an important thing to know about.

“Not really, no. It went a lot like pregnancies are supposed to. We did a lot of research about the topic and found that Derek could’ve given birth in a somewhat traditional way, like the magic could’ve made it happen, but Ava was born in c-section when Derek was 39 weeks along. Liam’s dad and Melissa were there and Deaton helped them to come up with the plan to make it work. I was there too when Ava was born and let me give you some advice: Do not watch the surgery. I fainted, which was really bad timing, like, we were lucky that I didn't squash the baby. It was…” Other Stiles paled when he remembered what it had looked like.

Stiles let out a distressed sound. He could deal with some blood, obviously, but God, he would gladly keep his eyes averted from an open abdomen.

“Okay, you’ve convinced me.”

It was quiet for a while before Stiles asked. “How is it, -being a dad?”

“Being a dad? My life is in constant state of chaos, and my kids are a lot to handle. Eli is a typical teenager and thinks that Derek and I are the least cool people on earth, he sneaks up to parties and I caught him smoking wolfsbane infused weed two weeks ago. I've got no clue on how to punish him for that. Ava is going through this phase where she takes a roll of toilet paper and unravels it whenever she gets a chance to do it, yelling ‘Aaa..the snakes are chasing us all’. She thinks it’s the funniest thing in the world. -I really love it though. I couldn’t imagine my life without my kids. I was, and still am-, terrified sometimes, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”

“But you are still living in Beacon Hills, right?”

Stiles nodded.

“How are you not scared of all the monsters that pass through this town? How do you keep the kids safe?” Because right now that was the biggest concern Stiles was having.

Beacon Hills was, after all, a hell-mouth and would continue summoning evil towards itself.

“Oh right!” Stiles exclaimed.

“We don’t really have much of a problem with that. When we had Eli, we figured the Nemeton couldn’t be all bad. You remember when Deaton said that it had potential to be both evil and good? Like it was kinda neutral in the beginning. So we started testing out our theory. We, like, went to see it and gave it flowers and talked to it kindly, like it was our friend. And everything just calmed down. I go check on it once a week and talk to it a little bit. Sometimes I bring the kids too and we have a picnic or something.” He shrugged.

Stiles looked at him, disbelieving. What the absolute hippy shit was that?

The other him grimaced a little. “I know how it sounds, and the Nemeton still pulls the supernatural into Beacon Hills but now it’s mostly people and families who just want to exist in peace.”

"But the Nogitsune still came back, right?" Derek had told Stiles that Ava's origin-story was the same in the other world as well.

The other Stiles grimaced. "Yes, but that was more about Scott and Lydia bringing back Allison. I think the Nemeton sent us here to fix this mess.”

Which, rude.

Stiles lifted his eyebrows.

“Okay, to fix Derek’s mess.”

Well that was certainly better.

“I think that it might take us back to our own world, now that I’ve talked to you too. So, -I guess this is a goodbye. Best of luck to you.” The other Stiles clapped him on the back and started climbing upstairs.

Well, that was anticlimactic.

“No, just-, wait a minute!” Stiles chased after the guy who was walking into his old room where his dad was still putting Ava to bed.

Didn’t he want to ask Stiles anything?

Stiles was very far from being content with the answers the other man had given him. He wanted to know more.

He rushed into the room where Stiles was scooping up his daughter.

“It was nice meeting you.” His other version called out before he and his daughter just faded out, leaving behind nothing but a faint smell of the forest.

Stiles was pretty sure he wasn't being really sincere about saying it had been nice to meet him. Which, rude. Damn it.

He looked at his dad who shrugged.

"You certainty don't see that everyday."

Stiles supposed he didn't.

Chapter Text

When Stiles walked out onto the lacrosse field he could see Allison, Scott, Liam, Malia, Jordan, Eli and Derek all already there, holding lacrosse sticks.

Malia ran towards him with a huge grin on her face and tackled him to the ground.

“You asshole! I haven’t seen you in years!” She growled, aggressively scenting him.

“So you decided to kill me?” Stiles wheezed out when he could speak again after having the wind knocked out of him.

Malia rumbled unhappily.

“I missed you too, Mal.” He smiled at her.

After being released by the woman, Stiles waved at the others lazily and jogged the rest of the way over.

“Good to see you all.” He grinned at the pack.

After a round of greetings and crushing hugs Stiles pulled away and looked at Derek.

“Should you be playing?” He asked nervously.

Derek’s eyebrows shot up.

“What do you mean, should I be playing?” Derek pressed, affronted.

“You know, with your ‘post coming back to life side effects’.” Stiles air-quoted heavily.

“Hey! You haven’t told me about the side effects!” Scott exclaimed, sounding worried and looking at Derek with disappointed eyes. The full Scott effect, that made even the more impenitent people squirm and feel bad about doing whatever it was that had caused that look being thrown in their way.

“What side effects are you having Derek?” Jordan asked, frowning.

“I’m fine.”

“But contact sports are-”

“Stiles, I’m a werewolf. I think I can handle it.” Derek looked at him pointedly.

Stiles stared back at him, eyes narrowing.

Derek raised his eyebrows in challenge, because did Stiles really want to do this?

Sure enough, Stiles deflated.

“Okay, but no supernaturally enhanced play with Derek.” He demanded pointing at the others who were nodding in agreement.

Derek looked at him, obviously irritated but before he could voice his displeasure at Stiles’ request Scott started. “So, we’ve already assigned the teams. Stiles, you are with me, Eli and Malia.”

“Great! How about we start playing then.” Stiles bellowed out enthusiastically, grabbing his lacrosse stick and marching to the other side of the field, his teammates following suit.

“What’s your usual position?” he curiously asked Eli.

“Midfielder.”

“Oh, that’s great. I was a midfielder too! Most of the time I was just warming the bench though. Very thoughtless of the coach.”

“Did you also have Finstock?”

“Yeah.” Stiles nodded. “Aww…I never knew I’d miss the bastard.”

“You know, you could come to watch my game sometime. He’s there too.” Eli said, a little bashful.

“I’d like that a lot.” Stiles grinned at him.

“The coach accidentally calls me Stilinski, and I used to warm the bench a lot too.” Eli admitted to Stiles in a hushed voice.

“Really? What’s your number in the game?”

“Eleven.”

“Huh! Mine was twentyfour. I guess we look alike.” Stiles shrugged.

“You guys ready to play?” Liam belted from the other side of the field.

Stiles gave him a thumbs up.

“Could you be the goalie Malia?” Stiles asked the woman who frowned at him unhappily but started, nevertheless, trudging towards the goal.

Malia was a very good lacrosse player but Stiles couldn’t be sure that she would remember to hold back when playing against Derek. She tended to get very competitive and aggressive in her attempt to win. Which is why Stiles had asked her to stay in the goal.

All the others were playing both sides, since the field was so big. And the other team had chosen Allison to be their goalie.

Scott and Liam jogged to the middle of the field and started the game.

—

Stiles’ team was losing, like; a lot.

Malia growled at him angrily. “Let me play. You can be the goalie.”

Stiles looked at her, unsure, before admitting defeat and walking to the goal.

“Okay, let’s swap.”

He was, as it seemed, quite rusty, and being a human, at an even bigger disadvantage and it was costing them the game.

“Finally.” Malia muttered, sounding irritated and twirling her stick and stretching.

When the game started again, it was going way better.

Stiles had warded off two goals and their team had scored four, Malia making the first two, Scott the middle one, and Eli the last.

Stiles celebrated accordingly, whooping and punching the air with his fist for every goal.

It was good to be back home, and he found himself smiling about the possibility of this being a regular thing.

—

They were taking a break from the game when Peter showed up.

“Well, doesn't this look cozy. The little pack playing the game meant for children. How adorable. And no-one invited me.”

“I sent a message in the pack's group chat that invited everyone to play Peter.” Scott told him calmly.

“What do you want Peter?” Malia asked him flatly.

“Now, Malia, there is no need to be that hostile. I’m just here to officially welcome Stiles to the family.” Peter grinned slyly.

The old bastard was such a drama queen.

Stiles raised his eyebrows. “How thoughtful of you. So, since I’m now ‘officially welcomed to the family’ do I get, like, an unlimited access to your treasured books or is it more in the lines of you popping by, unannounced to annoy me.”

“You wound me. And to think that this is not the first time I’ve given you my approval.” Peter jeered in mock sadness.

“I literally have no idea what you’re referring to.” Which, as soon as Stiles said it, he knew it had been a mistake.

Peter looked absolutely delighted. “Why, let me refresh your memory. When I, -oh, so graciously, offered you the bite, of course. And you, may I add, -rudely, declined the offer.”

“Tell me Stiles, what do you think would have happened if I did bite you? Would you have become a werewolf, or perhaps, something else entirely?” Peter pondered.

The fuck was the old fuck trying to achieve?

“I always found it rather peculiar how you were one of the only ones in the Wild Hunt that wasn’t bewitched by the Fantom Train Station. Not even I, a werewolf, had the ability to rouse myself from the spell. Makes you think. Doesn’t it?”

“No, not really. It’s not like I’m ever going to find out anyway.” Stiles answered breezily.

“Maybe you will.” Peter mused, looking pointedly at Derek whose face paled.

“What are you guys talking about? Is Stiles considering taking the bite?” Scott asked worriedly.

“I’m not.”

“Then why are you guys being so weird?” Parrish asked, frowning.

“And how is Stiles becoming ‘part of the family’?” Malia pressed.

“Oh for fucks sake! They are having a baby! And I’m apparently Stiles’ son.” Eli exploded.

“What?” Scott’s mouth was hanging open.

Liam raised his eyebrows. “Does Lydia know about this?”

“I mean…How?” Parrish asked guardedly.

“Thanks, Peter.” Stiles said sarcastically, giving the man enthusiastic thumbs up.

“I didn’t say anything.” He stated smugly.

“Wait, so Stiles is having Peter’s baby?” Allison asked, confused and a little repulsed.

“NO!” Stiles yelled, horrified, while Peter cackled.

“Everybody shut up!” Derek roared. Which, for once, actually worked.

“So I guess we’re doing this today.” Stiles sighed wearily, looking at Derek who nodded.

“You can ask a question by raising your hand, and waiting for permission to speak. It can be granted by me or Derek. Everybody got that?”

Scott raised his hand.

“Yes?”

“What…?” He got out.

Stiles sighed in exasperation. “New rule, you have to ask a whole question. Malia.”

“How can you be having a baby?”

“You wanna take this one?” Stiles asked Derek, who vehemently shook his head.

Stiles nodded.

Fuck, this was awkward. “So when two men fuck each other very much-”

Scott covered his eyes.

“Nope. Stiles, what the hell? Eli is here.” He whined.

“-On top of an ancient magic stump-” Stiles carried on.

“Okay, I think we got it Stiles, thank you.” Parrish stopped him.

“More questions?”

Malia raised his hand. “Have you been cheating on Lydia? Is that why you guys broke up? Is Eli, like, a secret lovechild?”

Stiles just realised that they definitely shouldn’t be having this conversation in front of the kid. But it’d already started, so…

“Me and Lydia breaking up has nothing to do with this, I just found out about Eli. And he is not ‘a secret lovechild’, or whatever, but he is my son.”

“I found Eli at the Nemeton when he was a toddler, we think he was made by the tree.” Derek added.

“So you have known this whole time?!” Scott exclaimed angrily.

“Let’s not talk about that right now.” Stiles warned Scott who’d been gearing up for a fight, but thankfully deflated upon hearing him and glancing at Eli.

He looked beyond pissed, though and was moving restlessly from foot to foot.

Allison raised her hand cautiously. “I’m sorry, but who is pregnant?”

“I am.” Derek grimaced.

“Is that why you smell so good?” Liam asked, nostrils flaring very unsubtly into the direction of a very uncomfortable looking Derek.

“Stop sniffing him you weirdo. I mean, -I for one, would assume it could have something to do with that, because the hormones…”

“It does. Now back to my question. Will the kid be a fae?” Peter, who’d apparently had enough of his little game, asked impatiently.

Stiles sighed and chewed his lip. “I don’t know.”

“What?” Derek bellowed out, enraged, looking back at him.

Stiles looked at him sheepishly. “Honestly, I didn’t even think about that. I mean…there has been a lot of new information, so forgive me for…”

“You don’t think that that’s something I should’ve known?” Derek demanded.

“Now buddy, I said I hadn’t thought about that. And let’s not start talking about things that we should’ve told the other because I’m quite sure I would win that one.” Stiles narrowed his eyes at Derek who in turn scowled back at him.

“I would also like to know about this whole ‘fae thing’.” Scott stated, an accusatory look in his puppy dog eyes.

Stiles threw his hands back exasperated. “It’s just this dumb theory that I have about me maybe having a tiny bit of a supernatural side.”

“Why wouldn’t you tell me that?” Scott asked him, sounding betrayed.

“Oh, my god, because it’s just a theory, Scott! I have no evidence to back it up.” Even though the fact that Peter had also come up with the same theory was worrying, to say the least.

“Now wait a minute-, why do you think you are a fae? We haven’t even met any. Are you even sure they exist?” Liam asked.

“I just said-” Stiles started, affronted. He was starting to wish that Liam would’ve already gone back to Japan for his girlfriend.

Peter scoffed. “Of course they exist. You have also seen and fought them. Remember the ghost riders? They were fae. And Stiles thinks he’d become one because it makes sense.”

Liam let out a startled shriek. “So you’d become that if you were bitten?”

“No!” Stiles was offended.

“There are many different types of fae. He’d probably be like a forest fairy or something.” Peter shrugged.

“That’s not a thing! And that’s offensive. I wouldn’t be anything!” Stiles bellowed out. Forest fairies probably weren’t a thing.

He took a deep breath. “Any questions about the original topic?”

“Does Lydia know about this?” Allison asked, looking worried.

Stiles blew out the air. “No, no, Lydia does not know about this. We found out less than a week ago. My first instinct wasn’t to call my ex and tell her: ‘Hey, by the way Lyds, remember Derek? Cool, cool, cool- totally knocked him up the other day. Anyways, how’s your life these days?’”

Derek could feel his ears blazing bright red.

“Are you going to tell her?” Allison continued.

Hopefully not. “Yes, I’m going to tell her. But maybe I’ll wait for a second first. I wouldn’t have told you guys yet but- you know.”

“How is it being pregnant?” Allison asked Derek curiously.

Which, wow, Stiles would never have the balls.

And for a good reason.

Derek leveled Allison with the flattest, most murderous look Stiles had ever seen on his face, and that was saying something.

Allison blushed. “I just- Scott and I are thinking about-”

“Oh that’s nice.” Jordan replied politely.

“Hello! Good for you guys, but there are people in here that are actually having a baby, like actively, and not just ‘thinking about it’ or whatever!”

“Congratulations!” Jordan rushed out looking at both Derek and Stiles.

“Good luck.” Malia told them, bluntly and sounding a bit skeptical.

“That’s great news!” Scott assured, smiling widely, even if he still looked a bit freaked out.

Allison and Liam were nodding agreeable to the others' words.

"I mean, sure, a baby’s great and all, but this is starting to bore me.” Peter sighed dramatically, examining his fingernails that he was shifting between his human and werewolf ones.

Eli agreed.

“Are we playing another game?” Scott asked.

So they did.

Chapter Text

It was Sunday afternoon.

The air was dank and gray and about as depressing it could get.

Eli was pissed.

He was pissed at his dad who’d lied to him his whole life and was, at the moment, upstairs puking his guts out because, apparently, he was growing Eli’s little sister, which was the weirdest thing ever.

Eli was pissed at the coach who hadn’t let him play in the lacrosse practice, making him instead retrieve the balls the other players had, for some reason, practiced swinging out of the field.

The Coach had told Eli he’d done it because ‘Eli wasn't on top of his schoolwork’ and he had ‘needed some motivation’ to ‘get back on track’.

Eli was pissed at Peter who’d ruined the game on Saturday.

He was pissed at Stiles because he didn’t know what he was supposed to do with the guy who, all of a sudden, was now his parent. And because Stiles obviously didn’t know what to do with Eli or how to be that to him.

He was pissed about having all the new enhanced senses that made him overstimulated and had him hearing things he never wanted to hear: case in point, his dad heaving from inside the house.

And so, to clear his head, he quietly swiped up the keys to the Jeep from an old watering can in which his dad had hidden them in. Dad didn’t know that Eli had known about that particular hiding place since he’d been twelve.

He made his way to the garage and started up the car which rumbled into life effortlessly. Repairing it had done a wonderful job on making the car useful and it was no longer breaking down every other trip you took on it.

Anticipation made Eli giddy. He rolled out of his driveway onto the road.

He could hear his dad shouting his name before pressing down on the pedal and changing the gear, accelerating before he could be caught.

Hearing his dad yell at him made him strangely happy, and escaping before he could puncture the tiers had Eli’s mouth curving into a triumphant smile.

There was nothing else that gave him the same sense of freedom as driving did.

He didn’t really have a destination in his mind so he drove aimlessly down the roads, taking turns whenever he felt like it.

—

Eli’d been driving for a little over half an hour when he saw the sirens in his rear-view mirror.

Great.

He sighed before slowing the car to a stop on the side of the road.

The deputy that stepped out of the cruiser was Mason.

“You got your licence already?” He asked Eli who grimaced.

Mason sighed. “Thought so, I’ll take you down to the station.”

Eli sat down on the cruiser's back seat, sulking while Mason climbed up front.

“You want to tell me what’s going on with you?” Mason asked cautiously.

“Nothing.” Eli stared resolutely out the window.

Mason raised his eyebrows. “Okay.”

—

“Here is the little delinquent.” The Sheriff (his grandpa) opened the door to the cells.

Eli was laying on the bench, eating a sandwich that the Sheriff had given him. He sat up slowly to see who was there.

His dad walked in, looking absolutely livid and as such, making Eli gleeful. It served his dad right to feel angry and betrayed too.

The Sheriff found the key to get him out of the cell, and pulled the door open.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” Derek seethed.

Eli huffed petulantly and walked out.

He didn’t really owe his dad an answer, afterall, he’d kept things from Eli his whole life.

“Bye!” The Sheriff exclaimed after him jovially.

—

Eli stalked out of the car making his way inside.

The drive back home had gone by in a very one sided conversation Eli had mostly ignored.

“You can’t keep doing stuff like that.” His dad told him tiredly, stepping next to him.

Eli rolled his eyes. “I don’t care.”

“You could’ve hurt yourself or others while driving.”

“Are you saying they’d just magically get hurt because I’m fifteen? I know the traffic regulations. I can drive. Having or not having a licence won’t change that.” Eli huffed.

“That doesn’t matter Eli, and you know it.”

His dad staying calm annoyed Eli.

“I know that these few months have been a lot for you. Keeping Stiles and you apart was a huge mistake. I regret doing it and I’m really sorry. I just wish we could talk about it. I will listen to you. You don’t have to forgive me to talk about this.” His dad pleaded.

Eli lifted his hands in exasperation. “There’s nothing to talk about! I’m going to my room. And I don't forgive you, don’t worry.”

“You don’t have to talk about it right now, but just know that we will talk. And you being upset with me doesn’t give you the right to do whatever you want.”

Derek took a deep breath and calmly stated. “You can’t break the law Eli. I’m taking off the Jeep's battery. And you are not going to the movies tonight.”

Eli stormed off the living room.

“Eli! Your actions have consequences!” His dad yelled after him.

Eli slammed his door in response.

This sucked.

Chapter Text

It was 7 PM on a Sunday.

Derek had arrived at the loft 10 minutes earlier and he was sitting on the bar stool eating crackers, since he could now stomach at least the plain ones.

Stiles was making tea and fiddling with the tea bags nervously.

“So I have been thinking…” Stiles began while pouring them both a cup.

Derek raised his eyebrows and cradled his cup closer.

“I’ve been thinking of moving back to Beacon Hills.” Stiles bit his lip.

“Well, you can’t. You have a job.” Derek stated, matter of fact.

“I have a kid. Soon another.” Stiles shrugged.

“That’s a big decision.”

“You think I don’t know that? I don’t want to miss any more than I already have.” Stiles clenched his jaw. It was fucking hard to try to stay calm when he was feeling betrayed, frustrated and hurt, all of that caused by the man in front of him.

“I know you don’t. But have you thought about this? I mean really thought about it. Your whole life is in Washington.”

Derek thought Stiles hadn’t thought about this? Well, that was presumptuous of him. Did Derek really think that he’d just go back to Washington and what? Visit once a year?

Stiles abated himself a moment before opening his mouth again. “I talked to the other me and he said that before he got together with-,” Stiles swallowed down the rest of the sentence. Because that certainly wasn’t something he wanted to think about. “They shared a duplex. And I was thinking that-.”

“Well I know for a fact that us sharing a house is a bad idea.” The mere thought of Stiles living next to him, a single wall separating them: there was no way it’d work out. It was ridiculous.

Stiles splayed his hands open indignantly. “Why?”

“Stiles, you resent me. We cannot own and live in a house together.” Derek told him tiredly.

“I don’t resent you!” Stiles exclaimed defensively.

Derek’s eyes dropped to his chest.

“You are lying.” Derek told him, matter of fact, but getting confirmation from Stiles' heartbeat to what he’d already knew, it hurt like a bitch.

Stiles huffed. “That’s cheating. And I’ll work on it. Even though you, honestly, deserve it.”

Derek didn't disagree.

Stiles took a deep breath and continued. “You can’t assume I’m just magically going to be okay with what you did. That’s fucking unfair. It will take time and effort and probably loads of therapy. Because, as you hopefully are aware: you suck. Like-, a lot. Like: a lot, a lot. I mean, like, enormous amounts of you sucking. Like, I'm not even sure I know people who suck more than you do. And like, I know a lot of sucky people. Sooo…I guess we can come to the conclusion that you-, suck.”

Derek raised his eyebrows in a ‘see?’ gesture.

“And you want to live in the same house as me?”

Stiles looked at him, indignant. “No, it’d be a duplex. That’s totally different. And we can soundproof it so you won’t hear me next door.”

“No, we can’t.” Derek could hear Stiles’ heartbeat from almost a mile away, so no amount of ‘soundproofing’ would do a thing.

“Why?”

“I’m a werewolf Stiles, soundproofing won’t do a thing.”

“But I’d be near if you’d need help with the kids and vice versa. And Eli would most likely have an easier time coming to spend time at my house rather than if I lived somewhere further away.”

Derek looked at him, doubtful. Stiles did have some good points though, and it wasn't like Derek was in a position to refuse him, especially because the things Stiles was thinking, seemed good for Eli, and probably the baby too.

Stiles sighed. “Just-, I really have thought about it. I wouldn’t make this decision lightly. Think about it, okay?”

“Okay.” Derek answered gruffly and sipped his, now cool enough, tea.

“So you said you’ve thought about it. Do you have a plan for your career if you want to move in here?”

“The other me, he trains the new agents. I might give that a try. I could do it remotely. And I would probably still keep some of my old work on the side, but I can travel.”

Stiles paused for a bit. “Of course I’d have to talk to my boss about it and I’m not sure it’ll work out. But if I can do it, I will.”

Derek considered it and nodded. Honestly, it didn’t sound half bad. If it did work out.

“I promise I’ll think about it.” After all, it was the least he could do.

They drank the rest of the tea in silence.

“Eli stole the Jeep again today. Mason took him down to the station.” Derek told Stiles.

“Oh?” Stiles lifted his eyebrows.

“He’s mad at me, and confused about this situation.”

“Well that’s understandable.” Stiles noted dryly.

Derek sighed. “I know. I just wanted to let you know. I don’t really know how this works.”

Stiles smiled at him crookedly. “You can say that again. Me neither, buddy.”

Derek cleared his throat. “What-, How do you want to do this? Being a parent, I mean. Parenting together?”

“I-, honestly I have no idea how to do it. Obviously you know him and have a lot of things that are working. And you have been a parent for thirteen years unlike me." Stiles' voice got a bit bitter at the last words, but he controlled his emotions well. Really, -his dad should be proud. "I’d like to know more about how you’ve raised him. To get some pointers and guidelines on how to do it too. And to know how I can be a parent.”

“You don’t have to be the same as me, though.” Derek reminded him.

Talking about this, it sucked. It forced Stiles to remember that Derek had stolen his opportunity to be a dad. Would he have even told them anything if not the interference of the other Stiles? Most likely not.

Stiles chewed on his lower lip. Fuck if he was going to be anything but polite in this conversation. It wasn’t about his feelings, but Eli’s. And about working out some terms on their, -what even was it, cooperation, partnership? Whatever. “I don’t want to step on your toes. And I think it’s better if we go forward on Eli’s terms. I don’t want to, like, overwhelm him with this. So, maybe if you’d be more in charge of the discipline-side of things for now, it would be better? But I would like to know about all the stuff that’s happening with him and be a part of it. I want to be there for him consistently, hence I’d be moving back here. I would also like to talk to him about this and get his input when we’ve discussed these things.”

Derek nodded in agreement. Stiles had, despite claiming that he didn’t know how this would work, put a lot of thought into thinking of ways to make it work. He had a lot of good views on things.

“That sounds good to me.”

Stiles nodded and gave him a forced, watery smile. It made Derek’s heart clench painfully. He was the reason Stiles was hurting. That Eli was hurting.

Derek swallowed roughly and opened his mouth to speak. “I-, Stiles, you’ve been-, I-, thank you, you’ve been-” He blinked rapidly and blew air out of his nose.

“More-, more civil and-, you’ve been…more graceful than I could have ever been if-, if someone had done this to me.” He ended harshly, lest he break down before getting through the things he wanted to say. Words and expressing gratitude were harder for Derek than he imagined they were for most people.

Stiles looked at him, a stunned expression on his face. Sometimes he kind of forgot that Derek was also going through a lot. Sure, he had done an incredibly shitty thing, but he was Derek, he had the emotional intelligence of a child. Not that it excused his actions but no wonder his tactic had been ignoring the problem. Stiles could admit that it was sometimes his tactic as well, or it had been. And Derek was trying. Not that it made it right but still. People made mistakes. Like, huge ones.

“I-, thank you.”

The shame that burned inside Derek was something he was infinitely familiar with. And no matter how big a part of him the shame was, the feeling itself never got any easier to bear. Why should it, when he had so many things to be ashamed of?

Stiles shouldn’t be thanking him for something as small as this. Telling him he was doing good was the absolute least Derek could do.

“Are you okay?” Stiles asked him worriedly.

Derek noticed he was crying. Stupid.

“I’m fine.” He stated, wiping at his eyes angrily.

Stiles stepped closer to Derek before halting his movements, uncertain.

Seemingly making a decision he strode forward again and wrapped his arms around Derek determinately.

Derek went rigid and made a noise of protest, trying to step away from the other man.

“Shut up. I know this is hard for you too. I mean, I did knock you up, which you have been handling seriously, like, -super well, considering-. I don’t even know how you do it, I couldn’t.” Stiles told him.

“Us hugging doesn’t mean all is forgiven, but you deserve a break too, Derek. You are allowed to be disappointed, or whatever it is you’re feeling, okay?” Stiles held Derek closer to himself.

Derek relaxed and breathed in the smell of Stiles, crying harder.

“I’m really sorry.” He sobbed into Stiles’ neck.

Stiles brushed a hair away from Derek’s forehead. “I know you are.”

Stiles was sorry too.

Derek felt like he could let go a little bit. Which, usually, he never could, except for this moment, safe in Stiles' arms.

And so, he let go.

It was such a relief to have someone just holding him.

Being comforted like this was strange, and not at all something that had happened after Derek had been a teenager.

He realized that feeling like someone was taking care of him was something he craved in his life.

So he clung to Stiles harder.

Even though he felt guilty doing so.

Derek didn’t deserve nice things. But he had some anyway. And he decided to take them.

—

Derek threw his keys on the hallway table. He was so tired he wanted to collapse on the nearest surface and never get up again.

“Eli?” He yelled out while hanging his jacket to the coat rack.

The yell was met by dead silence.

Derek concentrated on listening, but he couldn’t pick up Eli’s heartbeat anywhere in the house.

He hurried into the kitchen where they left notes if they needed to let each other know something.

There was a note on the kitchen table.

Derek sighed in relief.

Went to the movies, going to this party after. Don’t wait up.

- Eli

Scribbled in his son's messy handwriting.

That cheeky little shit.

Derek crumpled the note and closed his eyes in exasperation.

What the hell was he going to do with the kid?

First, he would hunt his son down.

Derek grabbed his keys and got out of the house again. Maybe he’d still catch Eli in the movies. If not, he’d sniff the little stinker out. Either way, the kid was coming home, as fast as possible.

Chapter Text

Stiles was back in Beacon Hills after his two weeks at work. He’d made some arrangements and found out more about some of the options he had in continuing his work long-distance.

So far it looked promising. Having Rafael McCall as his head of agency certainly didn’t hurt in making the process swifter, and to be honest, at all possible. Stiles assumed that the guy's helpfulness was mostly due to the fact McCall himself had epicly screwed up being a father. So Stiles guessed he was a little bit thankful about Scott’s childhood trauma. Not that he’d ever tell a soul about that.

He was afraid that the epic screw up regarding Stiles’ own parenthood would make forming a bond with Eli impossible, but he tried to comfort himself by the fact that he hadn’t known that he was the boy’s parent.

Despite that, he felt that the interactions between him and Eli were a little strained. But then again, what could you expect when out of the blue you found out you were a dad for a teenager or the teenager suddenly had another parent. Stiles would just have to be patient.

That was totally what he was naturally (not) good at.

And he’d have to learn what it meant for him to be Eli’s father.

Then there was the matter of Derek. There were moments in which Stiles could feel sympathy for the man, and then there were moments when he couldn’t stand to look at him.

Stiles had agreed to meet Derek and Eli in the Hale residence and keep the thing low-key. They were supposed to talk about some things and find out more about Eli’s hopes for the situation.

It freaked Stiles out to be back in Beacon Hills so frequently, and to think that he was moving back for good in a short amount of time. But then again, on the list of things that freaked him out, it really felt quite small.

—

Stiles stood in the Hale living room, pacing slowly, hands stuffed in the pockets of his hoodie. The house smelled like Derek and Eli, like pine tree forests and sandalwood. Maybe it was their laundry detergent?

Eli was still upstairs, supposedly finishing homework, and Derek was…brooding, probably. Or maybe also lowkey freaking out. Stiles could never tell with him. They were trying really hard to be calm around each other, and probably failed in doing so. The brooding (or freaking out?) Derek mumbled something about going to hurry up Eli and just-, left Stiles alone in the living room.

The silence in the house wasn’t comfortable. It wasn’t hostile either, just… uncertain.

Stiles had a whole list of things he wanted to say-, questions he wanted to ask, concerns he wasn’t sure he had a right to voice-, but none of them made it past his lips. Because every time he thought about this whole situation, he saw Eli’s face flash in his mind. The kid’s wide eyes, nervous energy and the kind of hope that was delicate and too easy to break.

In the last few weeks when Stiles had been back to visit Eli, he’d noticed the kid actually wanted Stiles in his life. It scared Stiles how the kid seemed to have expectations Stiles wasn’t privy to in regards to his parenting so he supposed a conversation about the kid’s hopes was long due.

Stiles couldn’t afford to mess this up.

He heard footsteps on the stairs and tensed, already halfway to putting on his “cool adult” face, whatever that even looked like. But it was Derek. Of course. Dressed in one of his usual henleys, sleeves pushed up, expression unreadable.

Derek paused at the bottom step, eyes meeting Stiles’ for a second before looking away.

“We could do this later if it’s too weird.” Derek said quietly.

Stiles snorted. “Weird’s kind of my brand. And I’m already moving back, so get used to seeing this face.”

Derek gave a noncommittal shrug, leaning against the banister. “I just don’t want Eli to get caught in the middle.”

“Yeah, well, me neither.” Stiles muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, I’m not trying to come in here and start acting like I know what I’m doing. I don’t. But I want to figure it out. With him. And with you.”

That last part came out a little reluctantly, and the way Derek looked up at him—wary, tired, maybe a little hopeful too—made his stomach twist.

“You think that’s possible?” Derek asked.

Stiles hesitated. “I think it has to be.”

And for a brief second, that felt like something they could build on. Even if it was only a start.

There was a creak on the stairs again, lighter this time.

Eli hovered at the bottom step, backpack slung over one shoulder, eyebrows knit together like he wasn’t sure if now was a good time. He glanced between the two men—his dad and… Stiles.

“Uh…” Eli said, shifting his weight from foot to foot. “Is it okay if I get something to eat?”

Derek opened his mouth, but Stiles beat him to it. “Dude, it’s your house. Or half your house. Or like—your fridge, your rules. You don’t need a permission slip for snacks.”

Eli blinked, then gave a reluctant kind of smirk. “Okay. Cool.”

He stepped into the kitchen, and Stiles, without fully thinking it through, followed. Derek stayed behind in the living room, giving them space—or maybe hiding. Honestly, it could be either of those things. He was being a bit more timid than usual.

Eli was already rifling through a cabinet, pulling out a granola bar and an apple. He eyed Stiles warily.

“You, uh, eat those willingly?” Stiles asked, gesturing at the bar. “You know there are actual cookies in the world, right?”

“They’re good.” Eli said, shrugging. “And I don’t like sugar that much.”

Stiles made a face. “That might be the most tragic sentence I’ve ever heard.”

Eli cracked a small smile and started to peel the apple with a knife. His hands were sure, practiced. It was nice to see him more comfortable around Stiles. It made Stiles himself feel like he could relax as well.

He leaned against the counter, trying not to seem too obvious about watching him. “So… how’s school?”

Eli glanced up with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, okay, that was lame. I’m new to this whole ‘dad’ thing. Cut me some slack.”

There was a beat of silence. Stiles felt the weight of it, the atmosphere thick and uncertain again.

“I didn’t know.” He said softly. “About you. I mean, I know that you know that. If I had…”

Eli shrugged again, but it was sharper this time. Defensive. “It’s fine. You don’t have to explain.”

“No, I kinda do.” Stiles said. “Not because you asked, but because I-, I owe you that. I didn’t leave or disappear or choose not to be around. I literally didn’t know you existed until, well, you know.”

Eli was quiet for a second, then asked. “And now that you do?”

Stiles met his gaze. “Now I’m trying to make up for lost time. Sometimes badly, probably. But I’m not going anywhere.”

Eli looked down at the apple again, slicing it into thin pieces on the cutting board.

“I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with that.” He said finally.

“Neither do I.” Stiles admitted. “But we can figure it out. A bit by bit. If you want.”

Another pause. Then Eli nodded, almost imperceptibly. “Okay.”

It wasn’t a hug or a grand gesture. But Stiles felt the knot in his chest loosen just a little.

He watched as Eli picked up a slice of apple and handed one over, a silent peace offering.

Stiles took it with a crooked smile. “Thanks, kid.”

Eli nodded to him.

Stiles leaned back against the counter, munching on the apple with way more intensity than necessary—mostly to keep his hands busy. Eli had finished cutting the rest of it and was sitting at the edge of the table now, foot bouncing slightly, not quite looking at Stiles but not avoiding him either.

There was a lull in the conversation, the kind that felt like it might drift off into awkward silence if left alone.

So Stiles decided to try something a little riskier. He cleared his throat.

“Hey, uh… can I ask you something?”

Eli gave him a cautious glance. “You just did.”

Stiles smirked. “Okay, smartass. I walked into that one.”

Eli shrugged, but there was a flicker of something lighter in his expression.

Stiles pushed forward. “What do you want from this? I mean… with me. This whole situation. Is there anything you’re hoping for, or like, thinking about? You can be honest—I can take it.”

Eli looked at him for a long second, clearly weighing his words.

“I don’t know.” He said finally. “I didn’t even think I had another parent. So now it’s like… I guess I just want it to not be weird forever.”

Stiles nodded slowly. “Totally fair.”

“And I don’t want you to try too hard.”

That surprised Stiles a little. “Too hard?”

“Yeah.” Eli said, fiddling with the apple slices. “Like, pretending we’re already close or that you know me. You don’t. And that’s okay. But don’t act like you do just ‘cause you feel guilty.”

Stiles exhaled, a little knocked off-balance by the kid’s honesty. “Okay. No pretending. Got it. But I would like to get to know you.”

“I just want to… figure it out.” Eli said. “At my own speed. And us getting to know each other, I would like that.”

“That works for me.” Stiles said, softer now. “I’m not in a rush. I just—I want to be here. Whatever it ends up looking like.”

Eli gave a tiny nod, then added. “Also, I’m not calling you Dad.”

“Yeah, I kinda thought so.” Stiles smiled at him, ignoring the stab of pain that shot through him.

Eli smiled and nodded to him.

Stiles stole and raised an apple slice like a toast. “To figuring it out, at your speed.”

Eli hesitated… then clinked his own slice against Stiles’.

“Deal.” He said.

Derek appeared in the doorway then, taking in the scene with a raised eyebrow. Stiles didn’t say anything, but he caught Derek’s eye and gave a subtle nod.

It wasn’t fixed. Not yet. But something was starting to settle.

Stiles bit his lip, could he tell Eli about his plans to move back home?

He probably should. Stiles took a deep breath. "You know, I've been planning on moving back here. What do you think about that?"

Eli blinked slowly, seeming confused.

Stiles fidgeted nervously, waiting for the kid's reply.

Eli cleared his throat. "I mean, I guess that's okay. What about your job though?"

Stiles smiled blindingly. "I've got that covered." Mostly, anyway.

Derek looked at him, surprised. Right, he hadn't mentioned that the plan was progressing further.

"Well I think that sounds good." Derek told him.

Stiles nodded to him.

It was still weird between them.

Would probably be for a long time.

Chapter Text

Stiles had been busy at work since he had a lot to do before his departure and he hadn’t had time to come back to Beacon Hills before now. A little over a month had gone by faster than Stiles felt like he could blink and he was now sitting in the chair next to Derek in the prenatal checkup wing of Beacon Hills memorial hospital.

“Hale.” Melissa’s head peaked out from the examination room and they stood up walking in the room.

“I’m just going to take a few blood tests.” Melissa announced in her no-nonsense professional voice, and held out a needle.

Why? Why did it have to be needles the first thing after they stepped through the door? Stiles winced.

Derek nodded and sat down on the examination table.

Melissa disinfected his arm and pushed the needle in.

Derek’s face stayed blank.

“Oh my god. That’s disgusting.” Stiles whined and gagged.

He’d had a hard time with needles ever since his mother’s diagnosis and the endless hours spent beside her hospital bed seeing the procedures done to the woman. Like, hard time in a way that when he saw someone being prodded with one, he felt lightheaded and ready to faint.

He sat down on a chair, face pale.

Melissa gave him a sympathetic look and changed the tube already filled with blood into another one.

“Just one more.” She told Derek, who was looking at the blood being drawn from his arm, the psychopath. Stiles looked at the floor.

Melissa changed the last tube and waited for it to fill up. Then she extracted the needle carefully, pressed a paper on the little prickle on Derek’s arm and put the needle in the hazardous waste basket.

“All done.” She exclaimed brightly and set the blood aside.

Stiles thought she did it more to his benefit than Derek’s and was immensely grateful to the woman.

“I'll email you the results on the blood-tests later, but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. So, 13-weeks. How have you been feeling?” Melissa asked Derek.

Fuck, this was still so weird, Stiles thought.

Derek shrugged. “A bit tired. Still a little nauseous but now I know what I can eat when I feel unwell. I can hear the heartbeat now, too.”

Stiles sat up straighter. Derek could hear the heartbeat?

Stiles guessed it made sense, the man being a werewolf and all.

Melissa nodded. “The nausea and tiredness sounds perfectly normal. Are you excited to hear the heartbeat?”

Derek blushed. The thing is, he was. The first time he’d heard it, he’d freaked out but now it comforted him, it reassured him that the baby was okay.

“I am.” He told Melissa almost shyly and turned his head towards Stiles whose eyes had dropped to his still flat stomach, like he was trying to hear the little blipping sound himself.

“I bet it’s quite cool to be able to hear that.” Stiles told him, smiling faintly.

“How about we all take a listen?” Melissa asked, motioning Derek to lay down on the examination table.

Derek rolled up his shirt and scooted down on the paper lining. It was as awkward as it had been the last time.

Stiles brought his chair closer to them and locked his gaze on the ultrasound machine's screen as Melissa set it up and squeezed some gel on Derek’s tummy. She spread it around and started searching the fetus.

It didn’t take long.

The unassuming blob of last time had grown a bit, and when Melissa pointed the head to them, the picture actually resembled a somewhat human looking thing.

Melissa hummed thoughtfully. “Everything seems to be okay. Do you want to hear the heartbeat?”

Stiles nodded, his heart hammering loudly in his own ears.

Melissa pressed a button and the room was filled with a sound resembling a galloping horse. It was a quick, whooshing sound that kept the same steady pace.

Stiles felt his eyes dampening.

“That’s awesome.” He whispered reverently.

Derek smiled at him.

“It sounds like a normal fetal cardiac activity. So that’s good as well.” Melissa told them.

Derek nodded.

“Would you like some pictures?”

“Yes!” Stiles exclaimed and Derek nodded.

Melissa printed a few and offered them to both Stiles and Derek.

Then Melissa examined the picture of the fetus humming approvingly every once in a while.

Finally she put the ultrasound wand back to where it belonged and wiped Derek’s stomach with a paper towel.

“You can sit up now.” She told the man kindly.

Melissa had been informed by her son about the situation that was Stiles’ and Derek’s life and she was now well aware of the drama. Finding out about Eli had been a shock, to say the least and she was determined to bring up the topic in a hopefully somewhat sensitive way.

Then again, she just needed to bring it up. So she steeled herself and started. “So, I heard about Eli also being Stiles’ kid.”

Derek freezed and Stiles looked very uncomfortable.

Melissa carried on. “Have you guys talked about it? With a professional I mean?”

They shook their heads. Figures.

Melissa nodded. “I know a good therapist that knows about the supernatural. I really think it’d be good if you guys went and talked to her.”

Derek blinked slowly.

Stiles cleared his throat. “Do you have her contact information?”

Melissa nodded and fetched two of Amalie’s cards passing them to both Derek and Stiles. “She really is good at what she does. She helped me after we had to stop Scott’s heart.”

Derek frowned a bit and read through the information on the card, it wasn’t much, just a name, profession, phone number and an email address.

“Thanks Melissa. We’ll look into it.” Stiles told the woman.

“That’s great. Of course if you have any worries I’ll always listen, but I think it would be good to actually go through this with an actual professional as well.” Melissa gave them an easy smile.

Then, before the situation had time to turn awkward she clapped her hands together. “So, do you guys have any questions?”

“Well, you know, the baby is going to be born at some point. I’m a bit worried about that.” Stiles said nervously.

“I want a c-section.” Derek scowled.

The mere thought of the other option had him filling with dread and his skin clammy with cold sweat. He bet there wouldn’t be many who wouldn’t feel the same ifthey were in the same situation.

“Why are you looking at me like I'd fight you on that? I promise you, I am enthusiastically, wholeheartedly agreeing with that plan of action.” Stiles flailed.

“In fact-, I would greatly appreciate it if I didn’t have to witness your asshole being torn apart!” He continued.

Derek winced and looked upwards in exasperation. Why?

Melissa cleared her throat. “I, too, think a c-section would be the safest way to proceed. With your permission, I’m going to consult Dr. Geyer and Deaton on the matter so that we can come up with a plan on how to execute it.”

“Who is Dr Geyer?” Stiles asked.

“Liam’s step-dad.”

“Oh, right. He’s nice.” Stiles told Derek, who seemed to be freaking out.

Derek nodded.

“We can talk more about it when I have more information on the matter but I think it’ll be doable.” Melissa assured them.

Stiles chewed on his lip thoughtfully. “Another thing: The only experience I have on babysitting literal babies is from Danny and his husband's twins. And I watched them for an hour. So when our kid is born, I don’t know what to do.”

“Who’s Danny?” Derek asked him.

“Oh, you know, remember the Miguel incident?” Stiles asked him breezily.

Derek nodded. He did remember, vividly.

Stiles smiled at him happily. “That’s Danny.”

Derek gave him a flat stare.

Stiles shrugged. “He’s the IT-guy in the FBI. I work with him. Also, we are friends.”

“Oh! You mean the Mahealani boy! He was so sweet.” Melissa exclaimed enthusiastically.

“You are not the only new parent who doesn’t have much experience with babies. You’ll learn it along the way. I wouldn’t worry too much about that.” Melissa continued reassuringly.

Stiles wasn't convinced.

“Do you have experience with babies?” He asked Derek curiously.

“I do.” Derek stated gruffly. He’d been a part of a big family so in his early life he’d been surrounded by his baby cousins and he’d been the designated babysitter when the family had gotten together, Laura practicing to be the alpha and Cora still too small to properly look after the kids. Then his family had died. So it had been a while since Derek had been around any babies. But he thought he could manage.

Stiles seemed to get that Derek didn’t want to talk about it and had started examining the pictures on the wall.

“I read somewhere that the baby is now the size of a peach. Is that true?” He asked Melissa.

Melissa nodded. “You could say that. It measured 7,5 cm which is 2,95 inches. The baby is growing just as it’s supposed to.”

That surprised Derek, he’d thought the baby was still about the size of a grape or something. Maybe he’d start showing soon? The mere thought about that freaked him out.

“If you are still worried about not knowing how to take care of the baby you should just call Danny and his husband and ask if you could practice some more. But like I said, it’ll come to you and we’ll show you how to hold the baby and change them when you have had them. Do you guys have any more questions?”

They shook their heads.

“Then I think we are about done for the day. You know, you guys have to come by for dinner sometime!” Melissa demanded, all filled with warm motherly intent.

Stiles would rather eat glass than have dinner in Chris Argent's house with his… with whatever Derek was to him. It would be the most awkward dinner in the history of human (or supernatural) dinners.

Derek seemed to think along the same lines. “I appreciate the offer Melissa, but I don't think it’d be the best idea.”

“Nonsense!” The woman exclaimed before Stiles could open his mouth. “Are you here next Saturday Stiles?”

Stiles nodded.

“Then you will come to dinner at six. I’m making fajitas. Eli must, of course, come as well. Your dad too, Stiles.” Melissa told them in a voice that left no room for arguments.

“Melissa, we-.” Stiles started exasperated.

“Six o'clock, Saturday.” Melissa told him firmly and shooed them out the door.

Even though Stiles hated the idea of the dinner with passion, he never could say no to Melissa.

Maybe he had mommy issues.

No, he definitely did.

And apparently, so did Derek, since he didn’t argue either.

That made sense.

Chapter Text

Eli was nervous.

He’d gone back and forth between his two favorite plaid shirts three times and was now changing again.

He had always wondered about his other parent.

For most of his life, he’d figured they’d been his mom—and that they were... dead.

Now, finding out that not only were they alive but that they were Stiles? Yeah.

It wasn’t that Eli didn’t want to get to know the man, he did. But the thought of doing so was beyond weird and a little bit terrifying.

He hadn’t seen Stiles in a while, so the whole thing felt awkward. More awkward than usual. And this time, he’d be alone with the man without a buffer and it felt somehow more serious than the previous times had been.

Eli’s dad knocked at the door. He could now recognize people from their heartbeats and his dad’s was the easiest, since he now had two of them.

“Come in!” Eli exclaimed impatiently.

Derek poked his head in. “Is that your new shirt? Looks good.” He smiled encouragingly.

Eli sighed and changed the shirt again, just to spite his dad.

“You nervous?” Derek asked, leaning on the door-frame.

Eli gave him a flat look. “Get out.”

He definitely wasn’t in the mood to talk about feelings. Especially not with his lying dad.

Derek lingered. “Okay, okay. Just… Stiles will be here in five. It’s gonna be fine, kid.”

Eli snorted. “How would you know?”

“Because you’re both awesome.”

Eli stared at him. “And the reason you didn’t tell me about him is…?”

“Not a good one.” Derek admitted, voice low.

He actually seemed like he was bothered about the fact that he hadn’t told Eli the truth, but it mattered little now.

“Out.”

“Right. I’m going.” Derek turned around and closed the door behind him.

—

Stiles stared at Derek’s text:

Compliment the shirt.

Cool. Okay. Great. That was… doable.

Holy shit, he was gonna screw this up.

They’d talked a few times now, about Eli’s hopes, his life, but this was different. This was real, in-person, full-on parenting. He didn’t feel ready. Not even close.

When Stiles drove to the Hale driveway Eli was already waiting on the porch, hands stuffed into his pockets. He was wearing a blue-and-white plaid shirt and his hair was tucked neatly behind his ears.

Stiles leaned over to open the passenger door. “Heeey, buddy! That’s a cool shirt.”

He aimed for a warm, casual, totally-not-panicking tone of voice. He was pretty sure it came out like a frightened squeak, but at least he tried.

“Hi. Thanks. Blue’s my favorite color.” Eli said, buckling up. He didn’t seem to notice, or was ignoring Stiles’ failed attempt at interacting like a normal person.

That encouraged Stiles to try again. “Oh yeah? Mine’s green. Like, darker green. Forest-y.”

Nope, still weird.

Stiles took a breath, trying to steady himself. “So… where do you want to eat?”

Eli thought for a second. “I think pizza would be great. So, the diner?”

“Sounds good to me.” Stiles nodded and backed out of the driveway. The air inside the car felt thick, and a bit uncomfortable.

“So,” Stiles tried. “You told me you like photography. What do you usually shoot?”

Eli shrugged. “Mostly places. Sometimes people. A few of my photos are going to the school art show in two weeks… so, if you wanted to check that out, you could come?”

Stiles smiled at him. “That sounds awesome. I’d love to.”

Okay. This was going okay, Stiles assured himself.

—

They pulled into the diner’s parking lot.

Stiles tried to think of something to say. “Got any fun stories about school or something? Like, a memory you’d want to share?”

God, he sounded like he was interviewing the kid.

Eli squinted at him. “Like what?”

“I dunno. Something from when you were little? Maybe you got in trouble or something?”

Eli thought. “When I was nine, I tried to run away because Dad wouldn’t let me get a pet turtle. Packed my backpack full of granola bars, shoved in my blanket and left him a note saying I was never coming back. Then I walked to the Sheriff’s house. He thought I had permission to be there and let me stay-, we made lasagna and watched a movie. Then Dad showed up, grounded me for a week.”

Stiles smiled. “You ran away to my dad? That’s hilarious. And wow-, he must really love you. He only shares his lasagna with the people he loves.”

Eli blinked at him, surprised.

They were almost to the diner entrance when Stiles asked, “So, your friends. Jace and Haley, right? What do you guys usually do?”

Eli chewed his lip thoughtfully. “Jace is a music nerd, but he’d never admit it. Haley takes photos, like I do. We mostly hang out or play video games.”

Stiles nodded. He was definitely still panicking and every question he asked the kid felt awkward.

Thankfully, the waitress led them to a booth before he could embarrass himself further.

They ordered—Stiles got the meat lover’s and Eli the pepperoni one.

Eli studied him for a moment. “How do you do it?”

Stiles blinked. “Do what?”

“Trust Dad. After everything.” Eli looked at him angrily, like Stiles had betrayed him somehow.

The question caught Stiles off guard, -and it stung.

Stiles didn’t answer right away. What could he say to that?

He thought about it a bit.

“I don’t. I can’t right now.” He told Eli honestly. The kid was a werewolf. He couldn’t very well lie to him. And Stiles didn’t want Eli thinking that betraying someone's trust like that could just be forgiven and forgotten with almost no time and effort.

“Me neither. I’m so mad at him.” Eli confessed.

Stiles looked at him, a serious expression in his face. “You have every right to be. He’s gonna have to earn back your trust.”

Eli looked at him. “But you just… you seem so okay around him. You guys talk like… like nothing is wrong.”

Stiles wanted to snort at that but he didn’t, since he was a grown up.

Instead he sighed. “We try to keep things civil around you. Doesn’t mean I’m over it. And you don’t have to be either.”

There was a pause. Something passed between them. Understanding, maybe.

Stiles twitched and took a deep breath. “Can I be honest with you?”

Eli nodded warily.

“I know you’ve been sneaking out. Parties, driving without a license… Derek told me.”

Eli looked away.

“I get that you’re hurting.” Stiles continued. “But the things you’re doing? They’re not just about him. They could really mess up your future.”

Eli scoffed. “So I’m just supposed to let him win?”

“No,” Stiles said gently. “You’re supposed to take care of yourself. Right now, you’re hurting you. And I know it’s not easy, but being angry doesn’t mean you have to self-destruct.”

Eli crossed his arms. “So what am I supposed to do instead?”

“Talk to someone. A therapist. I’m seeing one. Derek is too. This is a lot, and we all need help figuring it out.” Well he and Derek were going to see a therapist.

Eli glared—but it wasn’t sharp, not really. Just a little lost.

Stiles softened. “You can always talk to me, too. Or Derek. Or your friends. You don’t have to go through it alone.”

Eli shrugged. “I haven’t really talked to them. Jace and Haley. I’ve mentioned it, but I didn’t want to get into it.”

“That’s fair. But maybe give it a try. You might feel a little better.”

Eli glanced down. “Have you talked to anyone? About… everything?”

Stiles winced. “Not really. I’ve been kind of… focused on other things that I have had to take care of. But I should.”

He chewed his lip. “Wanna make a deal? We both talk to someone.”

Eli gave him a reluctant half-smile. “Okay.”

They ate in silence for a while-, but this time, it was comfortable.

“Has your dad shown you the ultrasound pictures?” Stiles asked, halfway through his slice.

“Yeah.”

“Did you know the baby’s the size of a navel orange now? And it’s growing hair.”

Eli made a face. “I didn’t. That’s… weird.”

Stiles laughed. “Right? It is weird.”

It was so weird in fact-, that Stiles had to remind himself that it was real by looking at the ultrasound pic of the baby, several times a day, and still he doubted it.

Eli gave him a deadpan look.

Stiles stuffed a bite of pizza into his mouth. “You met her, didn’t you? The other Stiles’s baby?”

Eli nodded. “Yeah. She seemed cool.”

Stiles smiled, relief washing over him. “That’s good. But you’re allowed to feel weird about it too. I definitely do. And so does Derek. This whole thing? It’s a lot.”

Eli nodded.

Yeah. It really was.

Eli thought about his dad again and chewed on his pizza. “It’s just unfair.”

“What is?” Stiles looked at him, curious. Suddenly Eli seemed a lot younger, and it struck Stiles, how small fifteen-year-olds actually were.

“You know-, he died and just-, I should just be grateful that he’s back, but…I’m so mad.” Eli dug his nails to his palms, fighting back the shift that was trying to overtake him.

Stiles waited patiently for him to continue.

“I feel like I have no right to be mad at him.”

Stiles’ eyebrows rose. “Well, shortly put: you have every right to be mad. It’s understandable and I know that Derek knows that as well. What he did was…” Stiles considered his next words. “A really big fuck up.”

Nice going, Stiles.

He grimaced and continued. “Sometimes the people we love hurt us, and nothing really makes it okay. Derek is your parent, he fucked up, and now he’s facing the consequences of his own actions. You being disappointed in him is one of them and you have every right to your feelings. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You can’t really put a timeline in forgiveness, it will happen someday but, until then, just let yourself be disappointed. Derek will understand that.”

“Just, remember that he usually has your best interest in mind, so, if he tells you not to go to a party for example, he’s likely doing it to look out for you. Derek loves you. I mean, you are the single most important thing in his life.” Stiles added.

Eli grumbled a bit but seemed reassured.

Stiles leaned back in the booth, arms stretched out across the vinyl seat. He exhaled slowly. Not a sigh, exactly, more like he was letting go of something he didn’t realize he’d been holding onto.

“You know.” He said after a moment, voice quiet. “When I found out about you... I panicked a little.” Little bit of an understatement.

Eli looked up, brows raised.

Stiles gave a small, awkward shrug. “Not because I didn’t want you. God, not that. Just-, because I had no idea how to be what you needed. I’m still not sure I do. But I’m trying.”

“I know.” Eli told him.

He sighed and added begrudgingly. “I guess you are doing a good job at it.”

Stiles grinned.

Chapter Text

Later on that Saturday, Stiles and Derek stuffed themselves into Derek’s car and drove to the Argent-McCall house. Eli had decided that he didn’t want to join them and had instead gone out to see his friends.

Stiles found it baffling to arrive at the house in one car. It felt too much like a couples thing to do and made him restless.

The quest list of the night had grown since the initial invitation and now included (besides them and the Sheriff) Scott, Allison, Malia, Parrish and Peter. The last of which had invited himself.

It seemed that the others had already arrived judging from the amount of cars on the driveway.

Hanging out with the pack was still a bit bizarre to Stiles who hadn’t really done so in years, but he found it mostly nice. Though he still felt like he, Derek and Eli should’ve just stayed in the house and tried to get to know one another better.

But alas, he and Derek got out of the car and marched inside the house.

It felt smaller than Stiles remembered. The decor of the place was modern, with earthy tones and little pops of color that Stiles was sure were thanks to Melissa.

He could hear the chatter from the kitchen and followed Derek towards the noises.

Chris was setting the table with Allison while Scott and Melissa prepared the food. Malia, Noah, Parrish and Peter were sitting in the living room, which was integrated into the kitchen.

Stiles hadn’t seen Chris in a long time but it felt like no time had passed since the man looked the same as he always did.

Melissa noticed them and smiled warmly. “Welcome, why don’t you go sit down for a while? The food will be ready soon.”

They obediently thanked her and walked towards the couches.

Stiles sat down next to his dad and started listening in to the conversation he was having with Parrish, something about a recent case of breaking and entering.

“What is that noise?” Malia asked suddenly, a little frown on her face.

They quieted down to listen.

“What noise?” Peter asked.

Stiles couldn’t hear anything either.

Malia stood up in search of the sound and started walking towards Derek who stiffened up.

“That’s so weird. Is that the baby?” She asked curiously, staring at Derek’s midriff.

Derek felt a weird, protective urge to wrap his hands around his belly and he could feel the tips of his ears coloring bright red.

He nodded, praying for the attention to shift away from him.

“Huh! How can you sleep with that thing hammering inside you?” Malia pondered, venturing closer to Derek, her eyes staying glued to Derek’s stomach.

Derek stirred uncomfortably. “Uhm…you get used to it?”

“Weird. You know, you don’t look like you’re pregnant.” Malia told him.

Jesus Christ.

“Malia, how’s it going?” Stiles asked the woman, in an obvious attempt to distract her.

“Oh, fine. Me and Jordan have been talking about having babies too, since you guys are having another already, but we haven’t decided if we want to do that yet. I guess we should wait until your baby is born and then make the decision. We could, like, borrow it and see if we like it.” She was totally approaching the pregnancy thing like a scientist.

Stiles nodded. “I think that would be a good idea if you aren’t sure.”

Derek wasn’t sure if he should be scared about Stiles renting out their unborn child.

“Thanks. And you know, the thirties are a good time to have children since all the eggs are good and what not. But then again, you two managed to have kids without them so we could probably do that too.” Malia pondered.

She paused for a while to think. “Was it uncomfortable having sex on top of the Nemeton?”

Derek choked on his own spit and started coughing furiously.

Stiles opened and closed his mouth, considering if he should answer that.

Before he could make a decision the Sheriff spoke. “I would rather not hear about that.” His face was carefully blank in the way only a father who had happened to hear way too much could manage.

“Oh, I forgot you were here.” Malia told the sheriff, completely unfazed.

“Thanks, dad.” Stiles breathed out, relieved.

“Seriously though, Stiles, do you think I could get Jordan pregnant?” She added curiously.

Stiles grinned. “I mean…why not?” Oh, the conversation was absolutely the weirdest one Stiles had had in a long time that wasn’t somehow tragic.

Malia blinked. “Okay. But, just for logistics-”

What had Stiles thought again?

“Nope!” Stiles held up both hands. “No logistics. No memories. No sacred tree sex recaps. Let’s talk about something else.”

Malia let out a put out huff.

Sacred tree sex recaps? Derek wanted to sink through the floor.

The urge to do so didn’t lessen when he looked around to find the disappointed eyes of the sheriff and amused eyes of his uncle.

“So-, any plans for the rest of the weekend?” Stiles asked casually.

—

The table was full-, loud, cluttered, and just a little bit chaotic. The air smelled like roasted peppers and garlic. Chicken fajitas sizzled on a hot pan in the center of the table. The dinner had turned out pretty great, Stiles thought happily.

He was seated between Scott and Derek, which was both comforting and deeply annoying. Scott kept bumping his elbow trying to cut his food. Sitting next to Derek made Stiles acutely aware of the fact that the couples had been sat next to each other, which didn’t help to defuse the feeling of restlessness that had begun earlier.

But Stiles was fine. He was totally, completely fine.

Probably.

“All I’m saying.” Peter said, picking at his food like it had personally offended him. “Is that raising a child in a household that-” he gestured vaguely toward Stiles, “-Seems... ill-advised.”

They’d been talking about the upcoming living arrangements that he and Derek would be setting up. Derek had agreed to Stiles’ suggestion about the duplex and, being nosy as ever, the pack had wanted to know more about that and, apparently, share their thoughts about the idea.

“Thanks, Peter,” Stiles said flatly. “Your concern is noted and immediately disregarded.”

Peter smirked. “I’m just being realistic. Babies cry. Neither of you eill get a moment of peace from one another. There is a moody teenager at the house. You’re going to break down by week two.”

Malia snorted into her food.

Scott gave Peter a disapproving look. “Don’t listen to him. You guys are going to be amazing parents to the baby as well.”

“Thank you,” Stiles muttered, already stabbing at his tortilla like it had greviously insulted him.

Chris cleared his throat. “How far along are you now?”

And how weird was that? It was like the man was asking: ‘How long ago did you have sex’.

“Almost 14-weeks,” Derek said, his tone clipped but calm. “Ultrasound looked good. No complications.”

Everyone nodded. A few murmured “That’s great” and “Congrats.” It was nice, if a little too quiet.

Then Melissa asked gently, “Have you started planning a nursery yet?”

Derek glanced at Stiles.

“Not really, I mean, we’ve got time, right? Besides, we haven’t started on the house yet. But we’ll probably make two, since we'll be living in separate apartments. Very peaceful." Stiles reminded them.

"Have you started planning, Derek?” Stiles asked with a tight smile. Should they be making nurseries?

Derek shook his head. “I think I’m going to keep the baby in my bedroom for the first months, because I’m downstairs and the baby’s room would be upstairs.”

“You’ve got this.” The Sheriff nodded to them approvingly.

Stiles looked down, his throat suddenly thick.

Then came the part he’d been dreading.

“So,” Melissa started carefully. “Do you know if you’re going to tell-”

“Don’t,” Stiles said quickly, not looking up.

Scott gave her a look and subtly shook his head.

Everyone went quiet for a beat too long. Someone’s fork scraped a plate.

Peter, of course, couldn’t leave it alone. “You mean Lydia, right?”

Malia kicked him under the table. Hard.

“Ow. Rude.”

“Eat your damn fajita, Peter.” She muttered.

“Just curious.” He said, mock wounded.

Chris shifted in his seat. “It’s none of our business.”

“Exactly.” Stiles said, a little too loud, and a little too brittle. “Can we talk about literally anything else?”

But that silence had already crept back in and the atmosphere felt awkward and heavy.

And that’s when Allison looked up from her plate, frowning slightly, like she’d been chewing on something for a while and had finally decided to say it out loud.

“Have you told Lydia yet?”

Stiles froze.

Everyone turned to look at him.

Stiles winced, taking a bite out of his fajita. “It’s on my ‘to do’-list. -But not yet, I haven’t.”

Allison looked displeased.

“When are you going to? I think you owe that to her.” She demanded.

Stiles’ eyebrows twitched. Why couldn’t they have one meal without being scrutinised? Also, how was this any business of Allison’s? She was basically a stranger. She didn’t know shit about Stiles’ and Lydia’s relationship. Stiles didn’t ‘owe’ Lydia anything.

Just to be an asshole, he shrugged and bit into his food again.

“Thank you for your opinion, Allison.” He told her after swallowing the bite. He let a hint of sarcasm drip into the words, perhaps a bit meanly.

“Lydia is my best friend.” Allison told Stiles defensively.

“Lydia was your best friend over fifteen years ago.” Stiles corrected her.

Allison blinked at him looking distraught.

Stiles’ dad frowned at Stiles disapprovingly.

Stiles took a sip out of his wine glass.

“I’m sure Stiles will tell Lydia soon enough.” Scott moved in his chair uncomfortably and gave both Stiles and Allison a strained smile.

For the life of him, Stiles couldn’t fathom why they were talking about this.

“Yes, Stiles will tell Lydia soon enough. Thank you Scott.” He said mockingly. Suddenly he was livid, at the whole damn interrogation.

Maybe that was why he added. “You really should come down from your high horse Allison. I mean, maybe it is morally questionable from me to not have told Lydia already, but she and I broke up years ago. And if you and I compare our records I would think that I win on the ‘whose choices are more humane’-scale. I for one, don’t go hunting kids with arrows whenever I feel badly about my dead fucking mommy. I mean, just as a reminder, you’ve done it more than once.”

An awkward silence descended in the room. Maybe Stiles was directing his anger towards the wrong person but, oh well.

“I find it weird that you thought it appropriate to bring this up, especially right now when we are all eating dinner and half of the pack is here. I would have assumed that this is something that doesn’t concern you and if you felt that it did, you’d at least have the decency to wait until you could ask me that alone. You are probably not an expert on the topic of mine and Lydia’s relationship.” He continued. He was aware that it’d actually been Melissa who’d brought it up but he was beyond caring. And Melissa had stopped when he’d asked her to, unlike Allison.

Allison was blushing furiously and looked like she was about to cry.

Stiles didn't care.

He took a deep breath and stood up. “I’m going to go get some air.”

—

Stiles was taking a drag out of his cigarette.

He'd developed the habit a few years back when he'd been undercover. Ever since then, when a particularly stressful situation presented itself, Stiles smoked a cigarette.

What could he say, addiction to substances ran in his family. He didn't smoke often, though.

The door to the porch opened.

Stiles jumped, blew out the lungful of smoke, put out the cigarette, turned towards the wall to throw it out and when he realized he couldn’t do that, he turned back again, hiding it behind his back.

"I wasn't doing anything!" He yelled.

Peter raised his eyebrows.

"Well, you've convinced me." He drawled sarcastically.

Stiles' shoulders slumped. "Oh good, it's just you."

"Just me? So you are fine with being a bad influence when it's just me?"

Stiles waved his middle finger to the guy.

"What would your dad say? Or your son? They'd be so disappointed in you." Peter tutted.

"You want one?" Stiles asked him, lighting another.

"That's too cheap for me." Peter told him leaning his back to the porch pillar.

They were silent for a bit, Stiles exhaling puffs of smoke every once in a while.

“So, that was fun.” Peter told him.

“Would it be shitty of me to say that I fucking hate her?” Stiles asked, snuffing out his cigarette and putting it out into the ashtray. It was shitty and totally untrue. But right now, he did hate her a little.

“Who, Allison?” Peter asked, curious.

Stiles sighed and nodded.

“Well, I, personally, get the hate towards Argents.” Peter told him thoughtfully.

Stiles gave him a flat look.

“I think I ruined the dinner.” He sighed then, defeated.

“I wouldn’t say that. I mean, it was entertaining.” Peter smirked at him.

“You were annoying me.” Stiles accused the man.

Peter shrugged. “That is what I do.”

“This is such a shit example on how to handle things maturely. I’m supposed to be a dad.” Stiles groaned. God, he was so stupid.

“Well, we all have to disappoint our children sometime. You are only human, afterall. Cut yourself some slack. And I don’t think Eli will be told about this.” Peter patted him on the back comfortingly.

Stiles let out a frustrated sigh. “How can I go back inside?”

Peter shrugged. “You just go. -Just, maybe let the smoke waft off of you for a bit longer. You reek.” He wrinkled his nose in displeasure.

Stiles nodded.

They were silent for a while.

Then Peter started to talk again. “For whatever it’s worth, I think you were right to call her out.”

Stiles nodded to him. Not that it was good using Peter as one’s moral compass, but it helped somewhat.

Peter walked back inside and the front door clicked shut behind him.

The air was cool and sharp with the scent of pine. The sky was the shade of a dull indigo and the first stars were beginning to appear.

Stiles took a deep breath and sat on the porch steps, hunched over his elbows on his knees. He just felt empty.

He heard a swishing sound behind him and as he turned to look at the origin of the sound, he saw Derek walking towards him.

He sat beside Stiles quietly.

For a while, there was nothing but the sound of insects buzzing in the grass and the distant hum of a car on the highway.

“I didn’t mean to go that hard on her,” Stiles said eventually, voice low and rough. “It just-, it hit me wrong.”

Derek nodded. “Yeah.”

“I don’t owe Lydia anything,” Stiles continued, more to himself than anyone. “We’re not… we’re not us anymore. She moved on. I moved on. And I decide when I tell her about the baby.”

He rubbed his hands over his face. “I just—I don’t want people thinking I’m this heartless asshole who forgot about her. I didn’t. I wouldn’t. But it’s my decision to tell her and I decide when I do.”

Derek was quiet for a moment, then said. “You don’t owe us an explanation. But maybe you should be honest with yourself.”

Stiles snorted, perhaps a little meanly. “That’s rich coming from you.”

Derek sighed. “Yeah. I know.”

They sat there a little longer.

Inside, through the open kitchen window, they could hear muted voices. Scott was speaking softly and Allison answered something with a wobble in her voice, after which Melissa stepped in like a calm diplomat.

“She was just trying to protect Lydia,” Derek said eventually. “It wasn’t her place. But she didn’t do it to hurt you.”

“Yeah. I get that.” Stiles let his head fall back against the railing, eyes closing. “I just wish everyone would just, I don’t know, let us do what we want without putting in.” He huffed. “I was always gonna tell Lydia.”

“Are you still in love with her?” Asking the question terrified Derek, because if Stiles said yes…well, it would hurt more than Derek was willing to admit.

It was different now that he’d had sex with the man. Before, it had been shitty knowing that Stiles was in love with Lydia, but getting confirmation that he was still in love with the woman, even after Stiles and Derek had been a thing (even though it was just barely), it would break him.

There was a long pause. Derek felt his pulse thundering in his ears.

“No, I’m not. Not anymore.” Stiles said. “I just…I haven’t fully processed it.”

Derek nodded. “You will.”

Stiles looked over at Derek who wasn't wearing a jacket. “Are you cold?”

It was a bit chilly.

“I’m fine.” Derek shrugged.

Stiles looked at him doubtful.

“Let’s go back inside.” He nudged the other man gently to get him to stand up.

“How awkward, on a scale from one to ten do you think the rest of the dinner will be?” Stiles asked Derek who shrugged.

“A seven?” Derek suggested.

Stiles hummed consideringly and opened the door for them.

Chapter Text

“Why are you calling me?” Lydia’s voice demanded impatiently.

“Heyyy, Lyds! Missed you.” Stiles answered awkwardly. It never got easier talking to her. Not that he did it much.

“If you don’t have something to say, I’m hanging up.” Lydia told him, sounding annoyed.

“And if you’re calling me to get back together, just, don’t say anything.” She kept going.

Stiles stiffened up at that.

“Just-, listen for a second, Lydia.” He pleaded quickly.

She huffed impatiently. Stiles could almost see her rolling her eyes.

Stiles took a deep breath. “That’s not why I’m calling you. I respect your decision. But I have to tell you something.”

“What, then?” She snapped at him.

Stiles ran a hand along his face.

Shit.

“I think it’d be better if I told you in person.” He confessed to her.

“Just tell me, Stiles.” She sighed.

Better to just rip the bandaid.

“I-, Lydia-, I got someone pregnant.” He forced out. And grimaced. This was amazing. Totally the way he wanted to tell her.

There was silence on the other end of the line.

Stiles braised himself. “Lydia, that’s not all. I have a son. With him.”

He waited for an answer.

He didn’t get one.

Had she hung up on him?

“Lyds?” He asked her cautiously.

Silence.

Stiles looked at the screen.

The call was still on.

Stiles put the phone back to his ear and waited.

“What?” The woman shrieked.

Stiles removed the phone from his ear.

Ouch…

“I’m pretty sure you heard me.” Stiles told her and slumped down on a chair.

Fuck, he was tired.

And apparently, crying.

There was another silence.

“You have a son?” Lydia whispered, so quietly Stiles couldn’t be sure he’d heard her.

“I do. I found out a few months ago.”

“How old?”

“Fifteen.”

“We were together sixteen years ago.” Lydia sounded so hurt it gave Stiles whiplash.

When she had left him she’d been stone cold, no emotions, just, packed her backs and-, puff-, she was gone. She had told Stiles it wasn’t working anymore and she didn’t want to even try. Lydia had said that she didn’t love Stiles anymore. So why was she upset now. Stiles didn't get it.

Before their divorce Stiles had thought they’d been happy. It had been incredibly difficult to come to terms with Lydia’s departure. But he had done it, goddamn it. So what right did she have to sound so hurt after all these years?

Stiles nodded. “We were. But I promise you I didn’t cheat on you. It was more of a supernatural occurrence, if you know what I mean.” And then he laughed. Because what a big joke his life had turned out to be.

Lydia let out a little squeak, seemingly trying to come up with something to say.

Stiles wiped at his tear-stained face.

“You said him?” She acquired then, taking a shuddering breath.

“I did.” Stiles bit his lip. “I’m having a baby with Derek. Eli is my son. And by having a baby with Derek, I mean, I knocked him up.”

Another silence descended.

Stiles' lower lip was trembling as he tried to stop crying. He missed Lydia. Not only because she’d been his wife, but because she’d been his best friend.

“Oh!” Lydia exclaimed softly.

Stiles could hear her crying as well.

Silent gasps, like she used to.

She'd always looked pretty when she cried.

“Oh.” Lydia gasped.

Stiles felt like the worst person on the planet.

Lydia took a deep, shuddering breath.

“Congratulations.” She told him softly, aiming for enthusiasm, but sounding more devastated.

Stiles wiped his eyes. “Thank you.”

Another silence.

“How-, how far along is he?” Lydia asked Stiles.

“He’s a little over fourteen weeks.”

“Oh…that’s-, that’s good. The first trimester is over.” Lydia sounded shocked.

Stiles couldn’t really blame her.

“Yeah.”

“I-, congratulations again. I-, I have this meeting, I have to go.” Lydia rushed out.

“Okay. Thanks. Have a nice meeting.” Stiles’ heart clenched.

“Bye, Stiles.”

“Bye, Lyds.”

Lydia ended the call.

Stiles stared at the blank screen of his phone, feeling numb.

It was done now.

Chapter Text

“How are you feeling, Derek?” The psychiatrist, Amalie, asked gently.

Derek sat on a beanbag, body tense, scowling at the shrink like she had personally offended him.

Therapy, to him, was worse than torture. He fucking hated talking about his feelings.

Stiles sighed when the silence stretched a beat too long for his liking.

“Okay, I’ll start.”

And then he spat out the whole of their history.

Amalie blinked, but seemed otherwise unruffled by what she’d heard. “Well, it sounds like you guys have a lot to figure out.”

That was the understatement of the century.

There was a pause in the conversation and it made Stiles move restlessly.

“Derek doesn't like me.” He blurted out. Saying it felt childish and a little bit embarrassing, but oh well. Stiles bit his lip.

Derek’s brows rose in surprise. Did Stiles really think that? The problem he had with the man was quite the opposite of 'not liking' him.

“Why do you think that?” Amalie asked Stiles.

“Stiles...I-, of course I like you!” Derek frowned.

Stiles scoffed.

“What makes you feel that he doesn't?”

Stiles started twisting his hands uncomfortably. “You mean, besides the obvious? He didn’t tell me that I had a son. He kept that from me for thirteen years. If he liked me, he would’ve told me. I mean, I'm pretty sure that Derek is ashamed of me. And if it was up to him, he wouldn’t have told me about Eli at all, the only reason he did was because other people found out about it.” Stiles sounded bitter.

Derek looked sullenly at the wall.

“I’m not ashamed of you.” Derek felt guilty and miserable. He looked to Stiles pleadingly, but the other man was avoiding eye contact.

“Do you have another reason why you didn’t tell Stiles about Eli?”

“I was scared.” Derek told her gruffly.

Stiles scoffed again.

Amalie looked at Derek. “What were you scared of?”

So many things. Stiles finding out that Derek was in love with him, Stiles not believing him, -or worse, him believing Derek and walking away from it. Derek having to share Eli. Lydia’s involvement in the whole thing, of the pack. Of Stiles’s dad. Of Peter. Of having to actually open up, make decisions with someone, compromise and let someone in.

If Derek were honest with himself, he just hadn’t been ready to let someone in his life, not like that.

Eli had been different. Eli had just felt like he had always been a part of Derek’s family. He'd been a kid. He’d been Derek's. There wasn’t another way in which Derek could describe it.

Derek hadn’t been ashamed of Stiles, but maybe he had been afraid of his feelings towards the other man. Stiles had been younger than Derek and he’d been in a serious, loving relationship with a woman. Stiles had been happy.

When time had gone by, Derek had become even more scared of what would happen if anyone found out and the shame and guilt he’d felt had been crippling. The guilt in turn had made him hold on to his secret even more desperately.

“Everything.” Derek said forlornly.

Stiles lifted his hands up in exasperation. “Really, Derek? You give me nothing to work with here. I mean, you’ve had ten minutes to speak and that’s what you came up with? You’ve barely said two words.”

Derek felt helpless. What could he say? It all felt like a lie or an excuse he was making for himself.

“You seem angry.” Amalie inquired Stiles.

Stiles smiled crookedly. “Oh, I seem angry? I have been robbed from thirteen years of my son's life! I don’t know how to be a dad to a teenager that barely knows me!”

He was seething.

Derek winced while Amalie looked at Stiles, neutral expression on her face.

Derek was so fucking selfish. He wanted to bolt out of the room and work out until he couldn’t feel anything anymore.

Stiles took a deep breath to calm down and gather some courage. “I just-, I don’t know how I can take the role of a parent with Eli and I’m scared I can’t be good at it.”

“What makes you think that?” Amalie asked.

Stiles hesitated and chewed his lip before he finally started speaking again. “I used to hide in my closet for hours when I was a kid.”

Derek looked at him questioningly.

That came out of nowhere.

“My mom thought I was evil and that I wanted to hurt her. It wasn’t really her fault, she had frontotemporal dementia, so I never told anyone.” Stiles paused before continuing. “He saw her pulling my hair once and later I heard him yelling at her that if she ever did anything like that again, he’d send her away. So I never told him that she used to hurt me when she was sick.” He shrugged.

Derek blinked at Stiles, stunned. He’d always thought Claudia had been nothing but a great mother considering the love in Stiles’ voice whenever he spoke about the woman.

Not that Stiles mentioned his mom often, not to Derek anyway. But when he did, it was always with warmth.

“When it got bad I used to wish that she would just die.” Stiles confessed. “And when she did, I thought it was my fault. That I’d made it happen and I really was evil like she used to tell me.”

Stiles shrugged. “I was alone with her a lot in the end, holding her hand and stuff like that. My dad was always working to afford the hospital bills.”

Stiles had been to therapy for some time now but he’d never told anyone about her mom. It just hadn't come up. But it was good to talk about her.

“Before my mom died she told me that she wished she’d never had me and that I was the reason she was dying.” Stiles’ eyes were dry and his tone matter of fact, like he was discussing the weather and not her mom abusing him.

Derek twitched uncomfortably, not sure if he should offer comforting words or hold Stiles’ hand. What could he even say to that? ‘Jesus, your mom was fucked up’? Was he even allowed to touch Stiles?

Probably not.

“You seem a bit shaken by that Derek, would you like to say something to Stiles?”

And that’s why Derek hated therapy.

What the hell was he supposed to say?

He cleared his throat awkwardly. “That…It wasn’t your fault.”

He grimaced. That was stupid.

Finally, Stiles met Derek’s gaze. He looked brittle, like a small gust of wind could just blow him away. Derek hated it.

He swallowed. “I…-Stiles, that’s awful. You deserved so much better. Your mom, -what she did, just-, no-one should have to experience that.” Derek took a deep breath before continuing. “Having gone through that…it won’t make you a bad dad, if that’s what you’re afraid of. And you are doing good with Eli. Really good. So you don’t have to be afraid of that.”

Derek closed his eyes. “Just, you deserve so much better. Better than your mom, better than Lydia, better than me. I’m sorry for keeping Eli a secret. I really am.” He sighed.

He opened his eyes again to look at Stiles who sat next to him, still looking like someone had sucked the life out of him.

Then Derek whispered. “I’m sorry I’m so fucking selfish. You deserve better.”

Stiles nodded at Derek, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Amalie interjected them gently. “May I be honest?”

Stiles nodded.

Derek’s heart was going to beat out of his chest while he waited for the woman to speak.

“You both seem to have things you haven’t fully processed yet and I think it’d be beneficial to talk about them more in one on one sessions. I was wondering if you’d be open to the idea of coming to see me separately? If you’d do that first and then we’d start the couples therapy again?”

Stiles and Derek looked at each other.

“I mean, I would be okay with that.” Stiles said.

Derek nodded.

Amalie smiled at them. “Good, I’ll check my calendar and we can look at the next appointments for you both.”

Chapter Text

Stiles was running late. There had been a traffic jam on the highway in between Sacramento and Beacon Hills. Eli’s art show had started 10 minutes ago and Stiles was just now parking his car in his old high school's parking lot.

He took off his seat belt and rushed out of the car. To his relief there seemed to be a few other people that were only just arriving too.

Stiles relaxed slightly and tried to smooth out his wrinkled shirt. He wasn’t sure what people usually wore to these things so he’d just gone with a green shirt and his nicer black pants and a brown jacket.

He walked swiftly to the gym doors and presented his ticket to the lady that was guarding the door.

After being let in, he searched for Derek and Eli, seeing the former talking to a pretty, blond woman in the other end of the room.

Derek looked handsome as ever in his navy blue chinos and his white button up shirt.

Even though therapy hadn’t really resolved all the things between them yet, Stiles felt relieved that he’d gotten to talk about his mom and his feelings about the whole situation they were in. Thanks to that, he felt more comfortable around the other man.

Stiles belined towards Derek.

When he got closer he could hear the woman laughing at something Derek had said. She was pressing her hand on the man’s shoulder and smiling brightly, which annoyed Stiles immensely.

He cleared his throat, interrupting the two. The woman pulled her hand away from Derek’s shoulder and Stiles smiled at her (nobody had to know that it was a fake one), offering his hand for her to shake. “Hi. I don’t think we’ve met, I’m Stiles.”

The woman looked baffled but took Stiles’ hand in hers, nonetheless. “Hi. Yeah, I haven’t seen you around. I’m Emma. Nice to meet you. Are you a friend of Derek’s?”

Stiles realized that he didn’t have an answer to that so he squirmed and looked at Derek. “Kinda, yeah-”

The other man seemed unimpressed with him and was frowning slightly.

“So, how do you know Derek?” Emma asked curiously.

Eli appeared next to the man in question. “Stiles is my dad.”

Emma opened her mouth and blinked at the boy. She looked utterly shocked. Which, Stiles himself was feeling-, he hadn’t known that Eli planned on telling people that Stiles was his dad. -Not that he was complaining.

In hindsight though, maybe they should’ve talked about what they were going to say to people, just so they could have presented an united front.

“Oh, that’s nice.” Emma rushed out hastily. She subtly stepped further away from Derek.

So she had been flirting with the man and wasn't just being friendly. Stiles felt a stab of jealousy which he vigorously showed down and ignored.

Stiles smiled fondly at Eli. “Hey buddy, so which ones of these are yours?”

“Don’t call me buddy.” The kid said, looking embarrassed. “I’ll show you.”

Eli didn’t usually mind that Stiles called him buddy. Maybe the reason he did now was because they were at the school and his other classmates were there as well.

“Will you come too dad?” Eli asked Derek, who nodded and started following the boy, who'd already turned to the other way and was leading them away from Emma that was holding a glass of something bubbly, slack jawed.

Derek had already seen most of the photographs with the kid, but he didn’t mind leaving the conversation with Emma. Besides, the photos Eli had taken were good and he’d gladly look at them again.

Eli pointed at the pictures in front of them. “These are mine.” He told Stiles nervously.

Stiles looked at the prints. They were all somehow soft looking, mostly landscape pictures but there were a few of people Stiles didn’t recognize. He assumed they were Eli’s friends.

Stiles marveled the photos for a while. “These are so great Eli. You are so talented.” He told the boy seriously.

Eli smiled at him shyly. “Thank you.”

“My mom used to paint. She liked capturing scenery, a little like you. We used to do these little outings in nature where she’d paint and I’d mostly just mess around nearby.” Stiles smiled wistfully.

When her mom had been better, they’d taken trips to different places. Her mom had brought her painting supplies and set them up somewhere. They’d usually taken food with them and eaten it on the spot. Stiles had been encouraged to paint as well, but usually he couldn’t concentrate for long enough and had instead played in the forest while her mom worked.

“That sounds fun.”

“It was.”

The thing was, Stiles’ mom had been amazing. She’d been smart and funny and a wonderful mother. It was her sickness that had ruined everything. Before it Claudia Stilinski had been the best mom in the whole world.

“Stilinski!” A booming voice bellowed, making Stiles jump and interrupting his thoughts.

He looked back at the source of the sound and saw Bobby Finstock striding towards them, looking all menacing and shit and making Stiles' legs twitch in an aborted escape attempt. Which he haulted since he realized that he couldn’t very well just disappear from the spot.

“Heeey, Couch! Long time no see.” Stiles greeted the man whose hair was jutting out in every direction as though rebelling against the very idea of being combed.

The couch straightened to his full height and looked at Stiles appraisingly. “I thought you’d already graduated. I specifically remember celebrating the fact that you had graduated. How do you explain yourself?”

Stiles gaped at the man. “How do I explain-, I’m here to look at the art!” Stiles gestured wildly at Eli’s paintings.

The couch narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You are at the high school art show? Last I heard you worked with the feds. Just-, if there is a meth lab, or-, or-, or, I don’t know, money laundry business at the school and you are just undercover, just-, tell me now.”

“He’s my dad.” Eli told the couch before he could spiral further.

The coach guffawed. “No, he’s not. He’s your dad.” He pointed at Derek.

Derek raised his eyebrows and Coach’s held out hand shook. Then he retreated it, unsure frown on his face.

The people around them had started glancing towards the commotion and Derek wanted to end the spectacle. “We both are.”

The coach spluttered. “And since when are you gay?”

“I’m not, I’m bi.” Stiles told him.

“...I have nothing against that.” The coach exclaimed loudly. He wasn’t lying, his heartbeat was steady, but he wasn’t coming across as very convincing.

“That’s great.” Stiles told him.

The coach looked at Stiles, up and down before turning to Eli. “Well you should be thankful that the Hale genes kicked in in lacrosse, cuz this klutz, -let me tell you, -not meant to play the game.”

It was Stiles' turn to splutter. “Excuse me! I’ll have you know that I’m great at lacrosse. You remember, -freshman year? Totally saved the game, -I made a goal, too!”

The coach seemed to ponder that for a moment. “No, -I distinctly don’t remember that.”

He paused for a while before continuing. “I have to go anyway. To make sure the guests are entertained. Nice seeing you.” And with that, he was gone.

“I made that goal!” Stiles grumbled in Derek and Eli’s direction.

“I believe you.” Eli comforted him. “I’m just going to go say hi to my friends.”

Derek nodded to the boy and then he was gone too, leaving Derek and Stiles alone.

Stiles looked restless.

Emma and her friend, Sarah, approached them.

“Have you tried the canapes yet?” Emma asked them enthusiastically.

Stiles shook his head. “No, not yet.”

“Oh you must! Do you mind if we join?” Emma asked them, not waiting for an answer and grabbing Derek’s arm with a breezy laugh.

“Guess not.” Stiles muttered under his breath and followed the others.

The canapes turned out to be deviled eggs with a shrimp filling. Even being near them made Derek want to hurl his dinner, so he forgoed them altogether.

Stiles took one on Emma’s request. He didn’t much like deviled eggs but he didn’t want to be rude either, so he shoved the whole thing in his mouth and started chewing. It was the texture and the smell that threw him off on the things and he tried not to think about it.

“So, Stiles, we haven’t heard much about you. What do you do for a living?” Emma asked him.

Stiles’ mouth was still full and he glanced back at Derek for help.

“Stiles is an FBI-agent. Lot’s of traveling and stuff.” Derek rushed out.

“Oh, that sounds interesting!” Emma exclaimed. Then her expression hardened. “How do you have time for family?”

She was quite scary, Stiles thought.

He was still eating the egg so Derek answered. “He’s actually trying to make it so he wouldn’t have to travel as much anymore.”

The women nodded thoughtfully. “So how come you haven’t proposed to Derek yet?”

Stiles blinked and covered his mouth before answering. “I’m not really a big believer in marriage. Sort of been there and done that already.”

Maybe she hadn’t been flirting with Derek after all, and was just looking out for him.

Emma’s eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to say something.

“Also, Stiles and I are not together.” Derek told the woman hastily.

“Oh, yeah. We’re just co-parenting.” Stiles waved his hand.

“How come we haven’t seen you with Eli before?” The question was asked pleasantly enough, but Stiles was starting to feel more and more like he was being interrogated. And judged, harshly.

“Stiles just found out about Eli.” Derek blurted out. “We were thinking of adoption and before we went through with it, we broke up. I never told Stiles we got Eli.”

Stiles looked back at Derek.

Sarah opened her mouth for the first time. “Are you originally from here, then, Stiles?”

Stiles nodded.

“Oh really, what’s your surname?” She pressed.

Stiles felt like he was walking into a trap. “Stilinski.”

Sarah’ eyes went round. “Like the sheriff?”

Stiles nodded in confirmation.

Sarah raised her eyebrows. “But haven't you been dating Lydia Martin since high school?”

Well, fuck.

Stiles parted his lips. How in the hell would he talk himself out of this one?

“We were in a throuple.” Derek told the women.

And wow, when had Derek become such a talented liar? Also, that was probably the funniest thing Stiles had ever heard him saying. He bit his tongue to stifle a hysteric laugh that was trying to bubble out of him. Stiles guessed that the women thinking they'd been in a polyamorus relationship was better than them thinking that Stiles was an adulteral.

—

Stiles was back in the Hale house. Eli had disappeared in his room and it was just him and Derek in the living room.

"So that went well." Stiles noted to Derek who was wiping some dust from the counter.

Derek looked at him dryly.

“I think I’d rather face another alpha pack then them again.” Stiles confessed.

Derek let out a hum of agreement before slumping onto the coach next to him.

“My god. I didn’t know you even knew the word ‘throuple’.” Stiles cackled.

Derek grimaced. “Not my finest work. I didn’t realize they’d know stuff about you.”

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Everybody knows the sheriff.” Then he groaned. “Oh, god, I have to call Lydia.”

Derek looked at him grimly. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, big guy. Thanks for trying to take the blame in there.” Stiles patted him in the arm.

“No problem.”

They sat in silence for a while.

“Ufff, your breath smells like eggs and shrimp.” Derek informed Stiles, wrinkling his nose.

“You have a spear toothbrush for me?” Stiles asked.

“You can try the upstairs bathroom.”

Stiles rose from the couch and went looking.

After successfully finding the toothbrush he returned downstairs while brushing his teeth.

“You know, the parents at Beacon Hills High are going to have a field day with this.” Stiles told Derek, who was now wrapped in a blanket in the corner of the couch.

“Trust me, I know.” Derek answered him tiredly.

“Imagine what it’ll be like when they find out about the baby.”

Derek groaned. “I don’t really want to.”

“Have you thought about how you want to do it? Like, are we saying that you are intersex? Or do you want to keep it a secret and just, I don’t know, say you’re on some meds that fatten you up?” Stiles continued.

Derek glared at him. “I don’t know.”

“Well, hate to break it to you buddy, but you should think about it. You are fifteen weeks along so it probably won’t be long now before you start showing.” Stiles told him gently.

Derek crossed his arms. He didn’t want to hear it.

He bit his lip. “The whole thing just creeps me out. I don’t want to think about it.”

Stiles nodded empathetically. “I can’t even imagine. You want to talk about it?”

Derek shook his head. He felt childish but he really, really didn’t want to think about it, much less talk about it.

“That’s okay. If you ever do, just know that I will listen.”

Derek’s eyes were burning. “Thanks.” The hormones were so stupid.

"It's so weird." Stiles told him. "I still can't believe that we are having a baby."

"Me neither."

Chapter Text

Amalie opened the door to her office and smiled at him warmly. “Hi. Nice to see you again Derek. Come on in.”

Derek walked into the room, forgoing the bean back this time, sitting instead on an armchair next to a dense fern. He felt more comfortable there anyway.

He looked at the shrink.

“So, it’s been over a week since I last saw you. How have you been feeling?” Amalie asked him.

Derek shrugged. It was like pulling teeth trying to talk to Amalie.

She didn’t seem to mind his struggling and opened her desk drawer, pulling out a deck of cards and spreading them onto the table.

“Why don’t you come here and look at these cards with me.” She suggested, beckoning Derek closer.

Derek stood up and pushed his chair next to the desk.

The desk was filled with cards that illustrated different emotions. All of the emotions were depicted by a little frog dressed in an orange sweater.

“So, let’s try this again. Pick two cards that you feel like depict your feelings from the last week the best. You can think about it a while. If you need more information about the cards, you can flip them and see what the feeling might feel like in your body.”

It felt stupid but Derek examined the cards nevertheless.

Picking the cards took him a long time. Finally he got the one that read lonely and the other that said sad. When he looked at them he felt fucking pathetic.

“Do you know why you picked those?” Amalie asked him.

Derek stared at the woman. “I was feeling them.”

Amalie nodded to him. “What made you lonely this week?”

Derek wished he could just disappear. He said nothing, he didn’t really wanna think about it.

Amalie waited patiently and after a while Derek shrugged. “My son doesn’t want to speak to me. I don’t have anyone to talk about things. My family is dead. And I feel alone.” Also, weapy.

Amalie nodded. “That sounds hard. What would you like to talk about?”

Derek shifted uncomfortably in the chair. “I don’t know. Just, stuff.”

Amalie hummed. “If you could pick someone who you’d like to talk about stuff, who would you pick?”

Derek grimaced. This was not fun. He shrugged again.

“Think about that for a while.” Amalie told him and just sat there.

“I guess-, I guess I would like to talk to Stiles. About Eli and the baby. And to Eli.”

“But I don’t want to make them talk to me.” He continued.

“Why?” Amalie asked him.

Derek raised his eyebrows. “I am an asshole. I don’t deserve them. If they don’t want to talk to me, they don’t have to.”

“Have they told you they don’t want to talk to you?” Amalie asked him.

“Eli says that to me.” Derek bit his lip to keep his eyes from watering.

“And how does that make you feel?” Amalie asked and waited patiently.

Derek blinked and lifted the card that said sad.

Then he burst into tears. He felt fucking ridiculous.

“I deserve to feel bad about it.” He forced out angrily. He did. He was a horrible person.

“You don’t seem to like yourself very much.” Amalie remarked.

Derek looked upwards and laughed. “Why would I? I hurt everyone that comes close to me.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I’m the reason my family is dead. My sister wants nothing to do with me. I kept Eli from Stiles. I stole Eli’s other parent. It’s my fault Erica and Boyd are dead. I killed Paige.”

Amalie’s heartbeat stuttered. “That is a lot to unpack. Who is Paige?”

“She was my first girlfriend. She died because of me.”

“You said that you killed her.”

Derek wiped his eyes. “I did, she was a human and she was bitten and the bite didn’t take. She asked me to kill her so I did.”

“I’ve heard that dying from a werewolf's bite is extremely painful. Is that why she asked you?”

Derek nodded.

“Well, it sounds to me like you gave her mercy and not like her death was your fault.” Amalie told him.

“It was my fault that she was bitten.” Derek told her bitterly.

“Did you ask someone to bite her? You weren’t an alpha back then, right? How old were you?”

“I was fifteen. I didn’t ask him to do it. But I couldn’t protect her from him."

“Your son is fifteen now, correct?” Amalie asked.

Derek nodded.

Amalie took a deep breath. “What would you say to him, if he were in a situation like that? Would you blame him for not being able to protect the girl from an adult, alpha werewolf?”

Derek blinked. It was like his brain flipped inside his head.

He shook his head.

“So why do you blame yourself?”

Derek didn’t know.

“Have you ever heard the term ‘survivors guilt’?”

Derek shook his head again.

Amalie nodded. “It’s something that happens when you survive something that others didn’t. The people who have survivor's guilt might feel responsible about the death of the people who died, even though it isn’t their fault. Does that sound like something you feel?”

“I don’t think so. My family died in an arson when I was a teenager. I was having an affair with the arsonist and I told her how she could get to my house. She blogged the exits and burned them alive. It was my fault.”

Amalie looked at him calmly. “You knew she was going to do that?”

“No, I didn’t, but-”

“You didn’t know she would do that Derek. How could that have even crossed your mind? You are not responsible.”

Derek frowned. “I am the reason they are dead. I wanted to have sex so I told her how to sneak into my house and she killed them all. I told her. How fucking stupid do you have to be to do that? So I am guilty. And I should feel it. They are dead, because of me.”

Amalie looked at him calmly. “Derek, I can’t begin to understand how hard that must have been on you.”

Derek scoffed. It didn’t matter how hard it was. It was his fault.

“I don’t usually think about it.”

“Sometimes, when we’re hurt really, really badly, we go into a kind of survival mode. The only thing that’s important then is to keep going and survive. We might not have time to think about our feelings. When the danger has passed, sometimes we can’t just snap out of it. After going through a trauma like that it might feel easier to just never think about your feelings again. But it doesn’t work in the long run. We have to face our feelings and think about them, even if it’s hard. Otherwise we can't really process and let go of the things that hurt us.” Amalie told him seriously.

Derek was doubtful but he nodded nonetheless.

“You’ve done great work today.” Amalie smiled encouragingly.

Derek wasn’t sure how he felt about that. But maybe therapy would be good for him.

“Now, if it’s okay with you, I’m gonna give you a bit of homework.” Amalie said.

Derek nodded again and Amalie held out the emotion cards. “At the end of the day I want you to think about what you were feeling that day and what made you feel like that. You can think about it or you can write it down. We can talk about it next time I see you.”

¨ "Okay, thanks." Derek said, taking the cards and standing up.

Chapter Text

Stiles had moved into the loft temporarily while his new house was being constructed.

He had adjusted to his new life amazingly, if he did say so himself. He'd started teaching new recruits in zoom and actually loved picking their brain about stuff. He still had a few cases he worked on but they were mostly something he could do from Beacon Hills which was also a positive thing.

Stiles met up with Amalie once a week and he was totally making progress. The only thing he missed from Washington were his coworkers, but he still talked to them via phone, email and zoom and he did go back to the city every once in a while and saw them so it wasn't that bad.

Going over to the Hale house had become almost a daily routine to Stiles.

Eli and Derek had come to expect him there and just let him into their home without blinking an eye anymore.

Being at the Hale house was nice. They played video games, or cooked, or watched movies, or went hiking, or saw Stiles' dad, or helped build Stiles' side of the house, just all sorts of basic things. Sometimes Eli's friends came over and they withdrew into the boy’s room, leaving Derek and Stiles alone. Everything was low-key and just so easy, Stiles couldn't believe it was really working.

Come nighttime he always returned to the loft though, never staying over for the night. It was a good boundary to have since spending all that time in the house tended to get a bit overwhelming.

Stiles didn't really know where he stood with Derek and he was getting too comfortable leaning into the other man's space. He'd also, accidentally, started finding ways to touch Derek. The conversations he had with the man were starting to become a bit too natural and he caught himself enjoying them way too much to what their agreed upon civilized co-parenting made necessary.

Not that it was bad to have healthy communication, but Stiles was catching feelings, which he found unacceptable. They were the thing that got him into this mess to begin with.

—

Derek was losing his mind. Stiles was everywhere he looked. He was cooking, or smiling, or talking, all effortless and easygoing and Derek didn’t know what to do.

Why did Stiles have to be so-, Stiles? It wasn't fair.

Derek wanted to jump the man. The impulse got even worse when Stiles laughed, revealing the long curve of his throat. Nothing would’ve been as wonderful as Derek burying his face into the other man's neck and staying there, preferably forever.

Derek wanted to blame his wolf about that, but after becoming more aware of his feelings, he couldn't. Damn Amalie.

The homework Amalie had given Derek had been enlightening, if a bit uncomfortable. Amalie had told him he was making progress in therapy and Derek was inclined to agree. He felt somehow more rooted to the ground and aware of himself than he had before. They’d mostly talked about his guilt, but also about other things, like the pregnancy. Derek was now seventeen and a half weeks and still not showing, which he hoped would be the case for a long time.

Everything was going smoothly. Derek and Stiles got along. Derek's morning sickness had led up. Eli was happy and had started to open up to Derek again.

He, too, was now seeing Amalie and doing so was clearly good for the boy.

Having Stiles in the house was great. He had effortlessly become a part of their life. He alleviated Derek's workload and it had been a relief, especially on the days Derek still felt a bit under the weather (he still got tired a lot faster than before the pregnancy). The only thing Derek didn’t like about having to interract with Stiles on a daily basis, were his own feelings towards the man. They were becoming increasingly hard to ignore and hide away.

—

Stiles was looking at Eli, who was huffing indignantly, since he had been asked to clean up the bathrooms.

The kid was fetching detergent to do just that and Stiles was, out of the blue, struck with a huge amount of love towards the boy, and the realization that Eli was really his son and Stiles was now a parent.

He smiled at the irritable kid and wrapped him into a crushing hug, which Eli, after grumbling a bit, returned.

"Love you, kid." Stiles told him.

"Yeah, yeah." The boy grumbled, but Stiles could tell he was secretly pleased by his words, since despite Eli's grumbling he was trying to hide a smile on Stiles' shoulder.

“You want to watch a movie tonight?” He asked the kid.

Eli paused and nodded before resuming his task to clean the toilets.

—

Eli sat down next to his dad and pressed play on the movie. It was a new superhero one that Stiles had demanded ‘they just had to see’.

Stiles was humming and walking towards them with a large bowl of popcorn balanced on his hand.

Him being there with Eli and Derek was becoming an everyday thing and Eli found that he really enjoyed Stiles' company.

“You’re sure you're a wolf and not a cat?” Stiles raised his eyebrows and looked at Derek who was currently curled on the sofa, rumbling contently and eating a salmon sandwich.

“This is so good I'm not even mad at you for that.” Derek sighed happily and kept on munching the bread.

Stiles slumped down next to them.

They sat there in comfortable silence watching the TV for a while.

Stiles completely zoned out, rousing eventually to...Derek's nostrils flaring and him subtly leaning towards Stiles.

Stiles turned his head to look at the other man.

“Are you-, Derek Hale, were you just sniffing me out?” Stiles asked him, amused.

“...No.” The man huffed, defensive.

But he totally was!

Stiles' eyes widened.

“You were!” He accused him.

“I wasn't!” Derek argued.

Stiles looked at him incredulously.

“He’s lying.” Eli told Stiles casually, popping a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“Ha! I knew it!” Stiles grinned at Eli.

Derek sighed, relenting. “It's the stupid pregnancy.”

“Mhm...sure it is. You just can't resist all this.” Stiles waved at himself.

Derek looked at him, unimpressed. “Keep telling yourself that.”

If he wanted to lick Stiles to see if he tasted as good as he smelled, no-one had to know that.

“Stop that.” Eli ordered him.

…well, maybe his son could smell that. Shit.

“I’m not doing anything!” Derek said defensively.

Eli raised an incredulous eyebrow to his dad who protended that he didn't notice.

They kept on watching the movie and chattering about nothing particularly important. It was nice and Derek found himself drowsing in the lulls between the conversations.

He woke back up when Eli stood up to go into his room. The movie had ended, the TV-screen rolling the credits.

Derek realized he’d been leaning onto Stiles’ shoulder and swiftly lifted his head off the other man.

As if falling asleep leaning into Stiles wasn’t bad enough, he’d left a patch of drool on Stiles' shirt.

Derek cleared his throat. “Sorry.” He lifted his hand to wipe the drool off the other man.

Stiles blinked at him tiredly. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay. Derek was kind of freaking out. If Stiles had smelled good when it’d only been him, his scent mixed with Derek’s… it was driving Derek crazy.

He pretended nothing was amiss and stood up yawning and stretching his stiff muscles.

Falling asleep on the couch before his bedtime had become a somewhat regular thing and Derek assumed it was due to the pregnancy taking up his energy. He’d also started taking naps, which he’d never done before. Luckily his job allowed that, since he could usually fix the cars later on or ask someone else to do it for him, returning the favor when they needed him to.

Stiles was looking at him strangely.

“What?” Derek asked, letting his hands back down.

Stiles stood up. “Nothing. I think I’m gonna head out for the night. Thanks for the popcorn.”

Derek nodded and Stiles made his way to the door.

Derek wished him good night while Stiles pulled on his jacket.

Stiles gave him the same look from earlier. “Good night, Derek.”

Derek watched the door close behind the other man before padding into his bed.

He was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

—

Stiles couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned in his bed, waiting to fall asleep, which he didn’t.

After two hours he gave up and stood to make himself a cup of tea.

He sat at the little table and pulled out his paperwork, trying to distract himself from the fact that he’d absolutely wanted to stay with Derek that night. It wasn’t working.

At six AM he was finally tired enough to try to get some sleep again.

Chapter Text

Derek was checking himself out in front of the mirror. His stupidly tight shirt was tighter than normal and pulled tautly over his stomach. Overnight, his abs had made way for a little bump.

Derek huffed, annoyed at the little bump and tried sucking it in. It didn't butch. He was about to lose his fucking mind. Being reminded that he was pregnant in the form of his body changing was seriously not something he liked. He had hoped to be one of the people who didn’t even have a pregnancy belly but here he was, nineteen and a half weeks along and showing.

“I look horrible.” Derek gritted out, looking at himself from the mirror.

Stiles turned to look at Derek’s reflection in the mirror.

“You look beautiful.” He told Derek sincerely.

Derek sighed, he felt so frustrated. “Don't say that.” He would’ve stomped his foot but had enough self control to refrain from doing so.

“Why?”

“Because I do not look beautiful. And I don't want you to say that. And this is your fault.” Derek gestured to himself.

“You look beautiful, but I won't say it again if it bothers you.”

Stiles was so annoying.

Derek stared at himself mournfully. He looked so weird.

After a beat of silence he sighed longingly. "I used to be so pretty."

Stiles rolled his eyes and Derek could see he was trying to hide his smile. “And you continue to be very pretty.”

Derek scowled at him, ears bleeding red.

“You didn't say I couldn't call you pretty!” The other man exclaimed defensively.

“You are not allowed to call me pretty. Or anything else like that.” Derek met Stiles' eyes through the mirror.

Stiles calling him pretty reminded Derek too much from the night in the woods, which he liked to pretend had never happened. Derek felt so guilty about the sex. It felt like he’d betrayed Stiles on a whole new level, not telling the man about Eli and having had sex with him regardless.

Not that he’d been thinking about Eli at the time, but still.

Derek swallowed audibly.

“I’m so mad at you.” He told Stiles. But really, he was mostly just mad at himself.

“I get it.” Stiles told him. “I mean, if you had gotten me pregnant-, I don’t know what I would’ve done but it wouldn’t have been pretty.”

Derek gave him a deadpanned look.

“Thanks.” He noted dryly.

Then he turned back towards the mirror and tried to suck his stomach in again with little success.

“For what it’s worth, I think it’s cute.” Stiles remarked, his eyes were fastened in Derek’s belly.

“Oh, that makes me feel so much better.” Derek drawled.

“I don’t want you to say that either.” He continued.

Stiles quirked his brow in question.

“It makes me feel small. I don’t like it.” Derek scowled. Amalie had encouraged him to talk about his feelings more. It was still hard and most of the time he had to force the words out, but he was doing it.

Stiles looked at him calmly. “Okay. I’m sorry.”

Derek didn’t want Stiles to be sorry. Derek was the one who had things to be sorry for.

“It’s okay.” He sighed. He was just frustrated and he didn’t feel comfortable in his own skin.

Derek hadn’t really thought about the way he looked like before the pregnancy. He had been aware that people found him hot but it hadn’t mattered to him. Or so he had thought. The pregnancy was really screwing up his body image.

Stiles chewed on his lip, looking a bit bashful. “Can I-, would it be okay if I, like, -pet it?”

Derek could smell Stiles’s embarrassment over the question and it made his ears color even more. He wasn’t sure that he wanted Stiles to ‘pet’ his stomach, but before he could talk himself out of it he strode to Stiles and guided his hand onto his belly.

Stiles looked at him for a moment, a stunned expression on his face, before moving his hand on Derek’s stomach.

“Hey, baby.” Stiles told it quietly.

It was weird, standing there with Stiles’ hand on his stomach. Though slightly uncomfortable, it was not unpleasant. Derek’s wolf loved it and was practically rumbling in happiness over, the baby daddy? being so close to him and Derek tried to concentrate on that and not on the awkwardness of the situation.

Stiles petted Derek’s belly, smiling softly. “You know, I can’t wait to meet you, kiddo.”

Derek felt himself relaxing against the other man while Stiles talked to the baby and kept on petting him.

After a while Stiles looked up at Derek, smiling widely. “We are having a baby.”

Derek smiled back at him. “Yeah.” They were having a baby.

Stiles’ eyes flicked to Derek’s lips and then back to his eyes, making Derek’s heart speed up. He wanted nothing more than to reach for the other man and pull him closer. And because of that, he stepped back, dropping his gaze on the floor and effectively dislodging Stiles' hand from his stomach.

They seemed to agree on pretending that nothing had happened.

Stiles cleared his throat. “So, what do you want for dinner?”

“I was thinking chicken.” Derek answered him. “Jace and Haley are coming too so we should make a lot.”

Derek’s heart was still racing when they started preparing the food.

Chapter Text

Derek was looking out of the window. Someone’s car had pulled up on the driveway and he didn’t recognize the vehicle.

Stiles was chattering away about wanting to see some new documentary that the BBC had published and Derek was humming along whenever he paused his ramblings to wait for Derek to acknowledge him.

The grey SUV parked in front of Derek’s house tilted a little when the driver stepped out of the car. He was the biggest man Derek had ever seen. Derek swore he could see the man's thigh muscles rippling all the way from the window. The man's arms were covered in tattoos, and there were some more on his neck, just visible above the collar of his shirt.

“Do you know that guy?” Derek asked Stiles, nodding towards the man.

What if he was a hunter? Eli was still in school and Derek could text him to go straight to Noah’s house if need be.

They didn’t really have much protection to defend themselves in the house since Derek usually relied on his werewolf traits to fix things like this, but he couldn't very well attack a hunter while pregnant. Beacon Hills had been surprisingly quiet of late (if one didn’t account for the Nogitsune returning), but Derek should have known better. How had he been so dumb?

Braedon had taught Derek how to use a gun. Why didn’t he have a gun now? A fault Derek was sure to fix in the future.

Stiles frowned. “I’m not expecting anyone. And I wouldn’t bring them here without asking you.”

Well that didn’t make Derek feel better. He turned to look around himself to find something that could be used as a weapon if need be. Stiles stood up and walked to the window.

He peaked out, shoulders tense. After looking Stiles let out a small breath of relief and his shoulders loosened.

“Oh, that’s just Freddy.” He told Derek breezily and waved his hand.

‘Just Freddy’ had almost given Derek a heart attack. He huffed unhappily while Stiles made his way to the front door and opened it to the stranger.

“Hey Bambi.” Freddy crushed Stiles in a hug that had the air leaving his lungs with an “Oomph!” sound.

Derek couldn’t help but notice that the man’s voice matched his appearance. It was a deep, raspy baritone that seemed to come all the way from the man’s stomach.

And why was he calling Stiles Bambi? Was it because of the brown eyes? Stiles did have pretty eyes.

Derek decided that he didn’t like this Freddy-guy.

“Are you trying to kill me man?” Stiles wheezed out, his face buried against the other man's sternum.

“Sorry, I missed you.” Freddy said sheepishly, loosening his hold. He had a thick, Boston-accent that just made his voice sound better.

Derek really didn’t like this guy.

“What are you doing here?” Stiles asked Freddy, a little pissed about being squashed half to death by the huge man in front of him, but pleased to see him nonetheless.

“Just wanted to check on you. And I came to have you take a look at these files.” Freddy dug up the said files from a folder, offering them to Stiles.

Stiles clicked his tongue before flipping them open. “Yeah yeah, buddy. How did you get this address?”

“Danny.” Freddy replied shortly.

Stiles started scrolling through the files.

Freddy seemed to finally notice that they weren’t alone, his eyes snapping onto Derek.

“And you must be Derek.” He noted flatly. Apparently he wasn’t Derek’s biggest fan.

Derek nodded.

“I’m Stiles’ partner.” Freddy told Derek, whose eyebrows jumped. Partner as in..?

“Freddy is my work partner. And my friend. Though we were undercover for eight months as a married couple.” Stiles clarified, without looking up from the papers Freddy had handed over. Then he shot Freddy a disapproving look that the man just shrugged off with a grin.

Derek felt a stab of jealousy at the thought of Freddy sharing a house with Stiles and he chastised himself on how irrational he was being. Stiles wasn’t even his, and here he was, being possessive over him. Besides, Derek was going to be the one sharing a house with Stiles in just a few short months.

“Sorry, I just couldn’t help myself. It’s nice to meet you.” Freddy smiled at Derek, offering his hand.

Derek noted that he was lying but took the offered hand anyway.

“You too.” He mumbled. Derek guessed they were both liars.

“Danny says hi.” Freddy offered Stiles after a while.

“That’s sweet of him. Is he still trying to crack the firewall?” Stiles asked, referring to Danny’s efforts aiding a human trafficking investigation by hacking into the group’s platform.

“Oh, he did that weeks ago. They arrested 12 people.”

“Nice.” Stiles chewed on his lip before adding. “How have you been?”

“Same old, same old. We miss you in the force. And you?” Freddy looked at him tentatively.

“You know, can’t complain.” Stiles told him breezily.

Freddy raised his eyebrows, disbelievingly, but didn’t say anything, thankfully.

The truth was, Stiles wasn’t complaining. Everything was going smoothly. The only thing he was struggling with at the moment was his feelings for Derek. Most of the time, he wanted to climb him like a tree.

Stiles was self aware enough to realize that it wasn’t only attraction drawing him to the other man. He had feelings. A lot of feelings. Serious, scary, feelings. Stiles found himself staring at the other man for too long, was almost too happy to see him, enjoyed their conversations and the easygoing life they had together. Derek had grown up since Stiles had lastly been in constant contact with him and he was discovering what Derek was like now, and quite frankly, really liked it. Be that as it was, Stiles always circled back to Derek keeping Eli from him. To sum it up, he was conflicted.

This is about Theo, right?” Stiles asked Freddy, holding up the papers.

Freddy glanced wearily at Derek.

Stiles rolled his eyes. “It’s okay.”

It really wasn’t. It was illegal to talk about an ongoing investigation while people who weren’t a part of it heard every word.

Derek frowned. He had met Theo briefly, years ago and heard the stories about him manipulating and lying to people and almost breaking up the pack. Also, the murders, couldn’t forget them. Derek had heard about Theo making Stiles choose between saving his dad or Scott and about his part in Donavan attacking Stiles. “What about Theo?”

Freddy cleared his throat. “Stiles has been trying to catch him for the murders. I found someone who's willing to talk. Not to testify though, he thinks he's in danger. Apparently Reakan is really good at intimidation.”

That was more than Stiles had had before. He’d dug up Theo’s information and followed him from afar during the years. Stiles had tried to make sure that Theo wouldn’t try to pull the shit he had in Beacon Hills.

The guy was slippery, though. Stiles was convinced that Theo was aware of Stiles keeping tabs on him. Whenever Stiles felt like he was getting closer to catching the man, he vanished, only to appear a moment later somewhere else. It almost seemed like Theo enjoyed Stiles trying to catch him, like it were a game to him.

“Thanks Freddy. I really appreciate it.” He smiled at the man. “Could I talk to the guy?”

Freddy nodded. “He lives in Washington so if you’d like to travel there.”

Stiles chewed on his lip. “Yeah, how about next Monday?”

“Sounds good to me. You should confirm with McCall though.” Freddy said easily.

“I will.” Stiles told him before going back to the papers.

Derek and Freddy looked at each other both seemingly uncomfortable and Stiles blissfully unaware of the fact.

Derek cleared his throat. “So, would you like something to eat? We were about to have a snack.”

Freddy smiled. “Sure, thank you.”

—

They were sitting in the kitchen, Freddy with coffee and Stiles and Derek with green tea.

“Since when have you stopped drinking coffee?” Freddy asked Stiles incredulously.

Stiles looked at his cup absentmindedly. “I haven’t. I just cut back a little. Derek had the worst morning sickness a few weeks back and the smell of coffee made him throw up and I spent a lot of time in here, so-, you know.”

Freddy nodded. His eyes strayed to Derek's stomach, which always annoyed him. The bump hadn’t gotten much bigger. Not that it had been that long since it appeared. Derek had been pregnant for little over 20 weeks.

“Right. I forgot to congratulate you. -Congratulations. For the whole family.” Freddy’s smell soured and Derek wondered if Freddy was aware of the Derek-not-telling-Stiles-about-Eli-thing.

Stiles smiled at him happily. “Thanks, it really is quite unbelievable but I’m happy.”

Then he turned towards Derek. “You know, Freddy helped me bring you back. He did the whole incantation. He’s a mage.”

Derek looked at their guest. “Well, then I owe you my thanks as well. Thank you.” He inclined his head in Freddy’s direction.

Freddy waved his hand. “Pff…It was nothing.”

Eli came in through the door bellowing hello and interrupting the conversation.

He frowned at the strange man at the table. They didn’t usually invite new people into their house. “Hello?”

Freddy smiled at him. “Hi. I’m Freddy, I work with Stiles. You must be Eli.”

Eli nodded in confirmation.

“Stiles has told me a lot about you. You look so much like him.” Freddy was eyeing Eli with wide eyes, a little disbelievingly.

Eli laughed nervously. “So I’ve been told. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

—

Stiles was looking at the papers Freddy had given him earlier. He puffed out his cheeks, seemingly lost in thought. Derek could not believe that he found it attractive, but gods help him, he did.

He let out a frustrated sigh that had Stiles' brown eyes turning into his direction in query.

Derek was fidgeting and tried to decide if he wanted to ask the question or not.

Stiles looked at him. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Derek told him grumpily.

Stiles raised his eyebrows disbelievingly.

Derek looked away from him and huffed.

“Are you mad at me?” Stiles asked, sounding incredulous.

“No. Why would I be mad?” Derek asked.

Stiles shrugged. “You tell me.”

“I’m not. So there’s nothing to tell.” Derek stared at the blank TV, arms crossed and jaw clenched.

He was definitely mad, Stiles decided.

He let the other man stew in silence.

Or tried to anyway.

Stiles just wasn’t made for that kind of life, and after continually glancing in Derek’s direction for a time, he gave up and opened his mouth again.

“Why are you brooding? Just tell me.” Stiles whined. He couldn’t really handle someone sulking. He’d never had the ability.

Derek was not brooding, thank you very much. He just didn't get why Freddy had to call Stiles Bambi. But he was fine.

“Why does Freddy call you Bambi?”

Stiles blinked slowly at the man, who was still sitting on the couch, pouting.

Derek wasn’t seriously asking him that. Was he jealous? Surely not. Stiles snorted and Derek’s expression darkened.

Shit, he really was. Stiles couldn’t decide whether to be amused or angry.

Stiles looked embarrassed before sighing and deciding to offer Derek an explanation. “When I was just starting out in the Feds, I got a case in Alaska. It was winter and, you know, I don’t do well on ice. I’m born and bred Californian. So… I took a tumble in the middle of a field op and fractured my wrist. -I have been called Bambi ever since.” Stiles shrugged.

Derek felt better and then he felt worse. He had no right to be mad at nicknames someone gave Stiles.

Stiles noted that Derek’s spirits didn’t seem to lift. He was still staring ahead without seeing anything. “Something else bothering you?”

Derek came out of his stupor and frowned at Stiles. He seemed to think for a while before clearing his throat. “I need to buy a gun.”

“I’m sorry, why?”

“Hunters. I can’t really get shot right now.” Derek gestured at his stomach.

“Well. That makes sense.” Stiles bobbed his head thoughtfully. “To be fair, you shouldn’t really be shot any of the time.”

He paused for a bit before continuing. “Do you even know how to fire a gun?” Stiles asked, a small smile tugging at his lip.

“Yes.” Derek looked at him, grievously offended. “You have seen me do it.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “I’m pretty sure I would remember.”

“Why?” Derek frowned, still displeased.

“Because…” Stiles’ mouth dried up and he scratched his neck uncomfortably. “...I don’t know.” He ended lamely.

The truth was that Stiles would have remembered because that would have been incredibly hot, but he couldn’t very well tell Derek that.

Stiles saw Derek’s nostrils flaring and him looking up at Stiles again, his mouth in a surprised o-shape.

Stiles blushed and cleared his throat. Damned werewolf senses. “Anyways, you should ask Chris, -about the gun I mean. It’s getting late so I should probably… -should probably get going.” Stiles swayed backwards. onto the balls of his feet.

It wasn’t late. It was seven PM, but Stiles rushed out of the house like it was on fire.

He really needed to get a grip.

Chapter Text

Stiles barged through the doors of the Hale house. He had just returned from Washington. The mission had taken longer than it was supposed to. Stiles and Freddy had been trying to find traces of Theo, without any luck.

It had been a shitty trip and what little they had managed to find out, hadn’t really been all that helpful, nor a surprise to Stiles.

Derek lifted his head from the article about babies' developmental stages and examined Stiles closely, before standing up to greet him and uttering a simple ‘hi’.

It was weird how faraway the other man seemed to be, even when he stood next to Derek. It made Derek feel weirdly self-conscious about himself and he twitched uncomfortably.

Stiles looked tired. Almost like he hadn’t slept in three days, which, knowing Stiles, was entirely possible.

Stiles gave Derek a tired smile before yanking him into a fierce hug. “Hi. I missed you.” Stiles muttered into his neck, inhaling the scent of him and brushing Derek’s neck with his knuckle, scenting him.

Stiles hadn’t scented Derek before and the act of him doing so made Derek go rigid before he wrapped his own hands around Stiles and did the same to him, all the while his own pulse hammered in his ears.

“How did it go?” Derek asked, worried.

Stiles sighed and let go of him, turning away and dropping his roll bag onto the counter, gritting his teeth. “Not good. The witness was a werewolf and according to him Theo is an alpha now. He has also allegedly killed his previous pack, like the alpha-pack did. So that’s awesome.” He sighed. “We moved the witness in witness protection, but we don’t really have evidence to lock Theo away yet, and he is good at hiding.”

Derek nodded thoughtfully.

“I’m fucking scared that he might come here, for you and Eli.” Stiles confessed.

Derek’s heart beat faster and he swallowed. “Well, we’ll just have to make sure that Eli knows, and be careful.”

He wasn’t sure if he was trying to soothe himself or Stiles. The truth was: Derek was scared too. More so than he had been ever before. It wasn’t just about him anymore, his kids and Stiles could get hurt too.

Derek had already lost one family. He couldn’t lose another.

Stiles nodded, his mouth in a grim line. “I’ll have someone stationed near the house for extra protection.”

That did slightly stifle the feeling of dread coiling in Derek’s stomach, but only a little.

—

Later that day, when Eli had arrived from school and they’d eaten dinner, they’d sat at the table playing board games.

Stiles and Derek had told Eli about Theo and instructed him on how to act if he saw something suspicious: He’d have to get out of wherever he was and call either Stiles or Derek immediately. They’d also enforced the kid’s curfew and given him instructions to only hang out in crowded places.

The forest, where Eli liked taking photos, was now off limits as well, even on the full moon nights, when Derek and Eli usually plowed through the woods, expelling the excess energy that came with it. It was disappointing, to say the least, but Eli did get it.

His parents had also demanded that they start teaching self-defense to Eli, which he was kind of excited about, but they’d emphasized that Eli was only allowed to use his -hopefully soon existing- skills as a last ditch-effort and, even so, use his judgement and focus instead on fleeing the place, if the need arose. Eli was a bit annoyed by that, since he knew that neither Stiles nor his dad had ever run away from a fight.

Eli was waiting for Stiles and Derek to finish their game -which he’d already won- when he saw his dad suddenly sit up straighter and heard his heartbeat speeding up.

“What’s wrong?” Stiles asked sharply when Derek clutched his stomach, looking pale.

“Nothing, I think-, I think the baby is kicking.” Derek smiled at Stiles who stood up from his chair, smiling back even brighter.

It felt so weird, like a little flutter inside Derek’s stomach.

“Can I feel it?” Stiles asked, stepping closer to Derek.

Eli went back to looking at his phone.

Derek nodded and Stiles pressed his hand on Derek’s belly. The baby kicked.

“That’s so cool. Hi baby." Stiles directed the words towards Derek's stomach.

Derek winced. "That's creepy."

Stiles scoffed. “It’s not creepy.”

“It kind of is.” Eli pointed out from where he was sitting and scrolling on his phone.

“Mean. Besides, the baby can already hear us. That can happen in week 22.” Stiles noted before lifting his hand from Derek’s stomach, looking back at Eli.

“That’s weird.” Eli told him. It really was freaky. He swallowed. It felt like he was intruding on a moment that wasn’t his.

“She will recognize your voice when she’s born because she’s heard it before.” Stiles told Eli, still smiling.

“Do you want to feel it?” Derek asked Eli, who hesitated, before shrugging and putting his phone away.

While Eli crept closer to Derek, he felt relieved, if a bit creeped out. Eli put his hand on his dad’s stomach. Derek guided his hand into a better spot and they sat there, waiting for another kick.

Eli felt the stomach moving up against his hand and his eyes widened. He lifted his hand away, shaking the feeling off. “That’s so weird.”

Derek chuckled. “Well, imagine how it feels to me.”

Eli winced.

“You know, that’s your little sister.” Derek kept the smile on his face and Eli smiled back, tentatively.

It was still weird though. Probably even more so. But maybe a little cool too.

Both his parents smelled excited and happy, while before they had smelled like dread and worry. It was making Eli happy too.

Chapter Text

It was the 21st of March and Derek was 22 and a half weeks pregnant. He and Stiles were at the Beacon Hills Memorial hospital for the third ultrasound in which Dr. Geyer and Deaton were going to be present with Melissa and they were going to go over the surgical plan for extricating the baby when the time came.

They were sitting at the now familiar waiting room of the prenatal care unit. A heavily pregnant woman sat in the chair in front of them, huffing uncomfortably every time she moved in her seat.

Derek could smell how unhappy she was, and he felt dread arising in himself just thinking about the fact that he would soon be in the same situation as the woman was now.

His own stomach wasn’t exactly easy to hide anymore. None of his usual clothes fit him properly. He could still pull his Henley's over his stomach, but they stretched taut over his stomach and he looked, well, -pregnant. He’d loaned Stiles’s over-sized FBI workout hoodie to the hospital. It made the bump look less obvious, but didn’t completely manage to hide it.

Derek really needed to go shopping for some new shirts. And pants.

He twirled the hoodie’s string between his fingers, trying to distract himself from the smell of the woman's distress.

Someone’s heels clicked on the vinyl floor, their steps getting closer to Derek and Stiles. Derek lifted his head and saw Emma standing over them, smiling widely.

“Hi! What are you guys doing here?” Emma asked.

Why was she here?

Stiles greeted her without answering her question.

Derek opened his mouth, not sure on how he should answer. “We are having a baby.”

Then he chastised himself for not coming up with something different.

Emma’s eyes widened. “Oh my god! You got together! Congratulations! Are you using a surrogate?” She squealed.

Derek winced. “We didn’t get together. We are just having a baby together.” Spurred on by Emma’s confused expression he blurted out. “I’m pregnant.” Emma blinked her eyes and shot a look at Derek’s stomach-, Derek blushed and hunched into his chair.

“Oh.” Emma said before giving Derek a blinding, dimpled, smile. “Me too! 24-weeks.” She patted her, almost flat, stomach and Derek felt a stab of jealousy at the non-existing bump. She was further along than Derek. It was hardly fair. And how had Derek not smelled her pregnancy before? He’d seen Emma at Eli’s art-exhibition.

Emma didn’t seem to notice Derek’s souring mood. “Oh, we can do yoga together! And have playdates once the kids are born! That’s amazing! I really needed a friend who is pregnant. I was scared that I was going to be the only one to have a baby! I mean, this baby was purely accidental, honestly. I thought that I was done having kids, but when the test was positive, I was like, -what the hell, I’ll have one more. Since this time the baby daddy is an okay guy.”

Their baby was also an accident and Derek noticed that he was going to open up about the fact before being interrupted by Emma taking a deep breath and continuing. “And congratulations to you both.” She smiled at Stiles who nodded and congratulated her too.

“Congratulations.” Derek muttered.

A doctor peeked her head from an examination room. “Davis.”

Emma waved towards the door. “That’s me. I’ll text you about yoga, Derek. I have your number. It was nice seeing you. This is the best!” She added enthusiastically and squealed before she turned on her heel and walked into the examination room before Derek could open his mouth.

“Where was her bump?” Derek crumbled.

“Your bump is cute.” Stiles told him, patting Derek’s tummy.

Derek glowered at him.

Stiles winced and lifted his hand off. “Sorry, I forgot I’m not allowed to say that. -It’s cool that Emma’s having a baby too.”

Derek nodded. Truth be told, he was kinda excited to know someone who was also pregnant. Maybe they could actually do yoga or whatever.

Melissa opened another door and smiled at Derek and Stiles. “You can come in now.”

Deaton and Dr. Geyer were already in the examination room and they greeted Stiles and Derek.

Melissa showed Derek onto the examination table where he lay down.

“You guys know the thrill. I’m going to take a look at this little one and then we’ll take some of your blood and chat a bit.” She told them with an easy smile.

Melissa pressed the wand on Derek’s stomach and the familiar whooshing sound filled the air.

“Heart sounds good.” Dr. Geyer remarked.

Stiles smiled at Derek.

Melissa nodded, turning her gaze at the screen.

She looked thoughtful, turning the screen towards Dr. Geyer, who examined it closer.

Derek glanced at Stiles who looked scared and took his hand in his.

Doctor Geyer lifted his head to look at Derek and Stiles. “The baby is a bit small for 22 and half weeks. It isn’t alarming, it’s just something we should keep an eye on. You should make sure you eat healthy and avoid stress.”

Stiles furrowed his brows worriedly, holding onto Derek’s hand a bit tighter.

Derek felt a sudden urge to cry and he closed his eyes to rid himself of the feeling. He fucking hated how emotional he’d become since the pregnacy. It was like riding a rollercoaster.

“It’s not uncommon for something like this to happen. We’ll just keep an eye out, okay?” Melissa told them soothingly.

Derek nodded, opening his eyes.

“Do you want to know the sex?” Dr. Geyer asked.

“Yes.” Stiles said frantically. Derek was pretty sure he already knew anyway, but he nodded.

“It’s a girl.” Melissa told them.

Stiles looked in Derek’s eyes, grinning, although his eyes were damp. “So-, Ava, huh?”

“Yeah.” Derek smiled back.

They were having a little girl.

Derek was happy. He laughed breathlessly and wiped his own eyes, letting go of Stiles’ hand in the process, and then missing the warmth of it.

“You can sit in here while I take your blood.” Melissa instructed, pointing to a chair on Derek’s left.

Derek wiped the gel off his stomach and moved into the chair.

Melissa worked swiftly, cleaning his arm and pricking him before he could think about it too much, filling the tubes and before Derek knew it, she was done, giving him a band-aid he didn’t need.

“So, about the c-section. We’ll make a small cut right here.” Doctor Geyer showed on his lower abdomen. “It’s going to be a pretty simple operation, really, and Melissa and I have already got a plan on how to execute the surgery. Would you like to go over it together?”

Derek would rather not hear the details so he shook his head. “I’m okay.”

Stiles moved restlessly next to him.

He probably would’ve liked to know, Derek realized, but alas, he could do some reading later on.

“Will Stiles be joining us in the operating room?” Melissa asked.

“Yes.” Both Stiles and Derek answered.

Melissa nodded.

“I’m going to get some wolfsbane that should be safe to use to keep you from healing while Dr. Geyer operates. It needs to be fresh so I’m getting it closer to the caesarean, but I know a person who grows it and I have already asked her to take some aside for me.” Deaton stepped forward and told them, in his usual, neutral tone.

“What do you mean, should be safe?” Stiles pressed.

“It has been used before in situations similar to yours.” Deaton said patiently. “Derek, have you thought about going a different route with the birth? I’ve done some research and found out that it is possible for you to give birth without the surgery.” He added curiously.

Derek shook his head, wincing. “I’m not interested in that.”

“What about managing the pain?” Stiles asked. He was filling the air with the scent of his worry.

Derek straightened in his chair. “I can take it.”

Stiles let out a distressed noise.

Dr. Geyer looked at Derek, a horrified expression on his face. “We intend to have you medicated. You might feel slight discomfort but it shouldn’t hurt.”

Huh.

Derek hadn’t thought that pain medication existed for werewolves.

He nodded.

It was good news.

“The recovery might take a bit longer than it normally does for you since we will use wolfsbane, but it should be a week tops. You shouldn’t be lifting anything heavier than the baby nor stretching your stitches before the week has passed. Do you have help at home until then?” Dr. Geyer looked at Derek expectantly.

Derek nodded again and saw Stiles doing the same from the corner of his eye.

“Do you have any questions?” Melissa asked them.

Derek sifted uncomfortably. “Could you remove the uterus while you deliver the baby? I just, -I don’t want to keep it.”

“Yes.” Melissa told him with a tentative smile. “We can do it.”

Deaton’s brows knit together. “Are you sure you want it removed? What's happening-, it’s remarkable.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at Deaton. “Derek knows what he wants.”

“Two is enough for me.” Derek said firmly.

Stiles took his hand in his and squeezed lightly.

It untangled something in Derek, making him relax back into the chair. He didn’t dare to glance at Stiles and stared instead blankly at Deaton, who nodded.

“How have you been feeling?” Dr. Geyer asked.

Derek lifted his eyes onto his. “Fine. I’m quite tired but the nausea has let up.”

Dr. Geyer hummed in approval. “That sounds normal. Just make sure you get enough rest.”

Derek nodded. “Yeah. Thanks.”

“Can you send me the operation plan when you’ve updated it to include the uterus removal?” Stiles asked.

Dr. Geyer nodded. “If that’s okay with Derek.”

“You can send it.” Derek said.

Chapter Text

Stiles had returned from the grocery store and was unloading the groceries. Derek sat on the couch, reading a book.

“Should we get a cat?” Derek asked.

Derek didn’t want a cat. He was testing a theory. He knew that Stiles didn’t like cats. He was allergic.

Stiles blinked at him, mouth open before saying quickly. “Yes. Yes, sure. Why not.”

Derek looked up from his book, frowning. "Stiles, are you saying yes to me because I'm pregnant?"

"Uuhm...is that a trick question?" Stiles asked him, chucking fries into the freezer before turning towards Derek.

He had tried being careful on what he said to Derek for the last few days. Ever since Dr. Geyer had pointed out the baby’s small size. Stiles didn’t want to cause Derek any more stress than he was already under. The whole Theo-thing and their current situation were more than enough. They had no new leads on Theo, which made everything all the more stressful, since they didn't know where he was.

Derek scowled at him, displeased. “Do you want a cat?”

Stiles gave him an incredulous look. “Why are you mad? I’ll be fine if you want to get a cat.”

Derek huffed. “You are allergic to cats, Stiles. You can say no to me. You need to tell me if you disagree with me on something. I’m not fragile, okay?”

Stiles huffed. “Fine, we shouldn’t get a cat. It’s the worst idea you’ve ever had. We are having a baby. That’s quite enough responsibility. Cats leave fur everywhere, pee on the bed, scratch the curtains and bring dead birds inside. It would probably sit on our baby and choke her. To death.”

“Fine. Thank you.” Derek growled, annoyed. Now he almost wanted to get a cat out of spite.

“You are welcome. You should’ve just asked me to not treat you differently.” Stiles quipped and yanked the carrots from the bag with more force than necessary. He didn’t need to be ‘tricked’ or whatever.

“You were being condescending.” Derek slammed his book shut and retreated into his bedroom.

“You are being childish.” Stiles yelled after him, completely aware that he was being childish too. Maybe more so.

Stiles stomped out of the house, onto the construction site. The house’s foundation was already done and there was some trash still at the site. Stiles cleaned up the fragments of wood, tossing them into a barrel and taking them to the backyard fireplace, to be burned later.

It was a good and much needed way to blow some steam.

—

Later that day, when they had had time to cool down a bit and had apologized to each other, Stiles watched Derek open the fridge and take out the ground beef.

He wasn't sure on how to describe the noise leaving Derek.

It was a high-pitched whine that Stiles was not aware Derek could produce.

Stiles stood up from the sofa, startled. “Derek, what's wrong? Is it the baby?”

Derek let out a sniffle holding the packet of meat.

Stiles scrambled up next to him and took his face in his hands. "Derek, are you hurting?"

Derek just sobbed harder.

"You are really freaking me out! What's wrong? Should I call Melissa?"

Derek could hear Stiles' heart beating too fast, and smell his fear. He shook his head in between the gasping breaths he was taking. He tried o open his mouth but not a sound came out.

"Don't worry, I'm calling her." Stiles soothed him and dug up his phone from his back pocket. His heart was still beating frantically.

Derek held out the packet of meat for Stiles, trying to make him understand.

Stiles was frowning at the package. "We'll cook later. I'm taking you to the hospital."

Derek let out another, -this time frustrated, cry, and finally got out. "It's 20% fat! The ground beef has 20% fat."

Stiles gaped at him. "...What?"

Derek sobbed harder. "I wanted the one that only had 10!"

Stiles looked at him like he'd lost his mind.

Maybe Derek had. He sure felt crazy.

"So, just to be clear: you are not hurt?"

"No." Derek sniffled.

Stiles burst out laughing.

Derek's face screwed up and he started crying again, loudly and obnoxiously. "It's not fucking funny!"

Stiles snapped his mouth shut and looked at him, serious. "It's not. I'm just relieved you're okay."

“Laura wouldn't laugh at me.” It was a blatant lie, Laura would probably film him, but Derek was too distraught to care.

Stiles' sobered up even more. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. I just miss her.”

Derek took a deep, shuddering breath.

Stiles opened his arms and pulled Derek against himself.

"I'll buy the one with 10% fat." He comforted Derek while stroking his back.

"But I wanted to make it now!" Derek was mortified by himself when he began crying again, but he couldn't help it. He was exhausted, mad, hormonal and fucking sad.

And Stiles, the motherfucker, was amused.

"I can smell that you think this is funny!" Derek gritted out, sniffling.

"I'm sorry! But I'm concealing that to the best of my abilities!" Stiles defended himself, stifling another laugh. His shoulders shook from the effort.

Derek huffed indignantly. "You are doing a horrible job at it!"

Derek's lower lip started quivering dangerously, like he was about to start crying again.

"I'm sorry! But in my defense, I thought you were hurt! I'm relieved." Stiles told him hastily and held him tighter.

"I am hurt. This is horrible." Derek told him in a grave voice.

Stiles didn't trust himself to open his mouth except for a small, crooning noise, so he just nodded and kept patting Derek's back.

After a long time, Derek finally removed himself from Stiles' embrace.

His eyes were red rimmed when he looked at the other man. "If you ever tell anyone about this, I'll rip your head off." His voice sounded pathetic, like he was still about to burst into tears. Derek hated it. He wished the stupid kid would just come out. He was so tired.

Stiles patted Derek's pack. The man had never looked more like a sad puppy. Somehow the death threat wasn’t as intimidating as Derek seemed to think. Not that Stiles was going to mention it. Besides, he didn't know how he was feeling and even though he was amused, he had compassion for Derek.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you something with the wrong ground beef.” Stiles told him, opening the fridge to peek what was inside.

“Now why would you bring it up again?” Derek sulked.

Amusement was still wafting off Stiles, although it was a bit more subdued.