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Chapter Text

Hawkmoth is trapped in Ladybug’s yo-yo.

The tight string presses uncomfortably against his ribs and as much as he tries to free himself, there seems to be no escape from the trap he’s just landed himself in.

Cat Noir takes a few steps closer to them, pressing his staff against his chest. “Nice job, my lady.”

“Your time has finally come, Hawkmoth! You better surrender!” Ladybug tigents her grip on the yo-yo.

“Never.” He spits back, looking dead into the young heroes’ eyes.

“You don’t have a choice Hawkmoth this is your end.”

Ladybug signals for her partner to take the miraculous pinned on his chest. And without any hesitation, Cat Noir takes a few steps towards the villain, quickly ripping the brooch off his suit.

His transformation drops in an instant. Instinctively, Gabriel lowers his head, uselessly trying to hide his face from the heroes.

It’s Cat Noir’s reaction Gabriel hears first. The loud gasp that abandons his mouth is more than sickening to him.

Ladybug is the first to speak. “Gabriel Agreste?” She questions with a slight tremble in her voice. Swiftly, she puts her fingers under his chin, lifting his face up to have a better look.

“Don’t touch me.” He snarls at her.

“Oh my god…” she mumbles under her breath. It really is him.

When Cat Noir falls to the ground. Ladybug is left absolutely horrified by the scene that begins to unfold before her eyes. Cat Noir begins to sob in a deafening way that makes her inside shake in the most uncomfortable way possible.

“Cat Noir, what’s wrong?” She tries to ask.

Except he doesn’t answer, all she can hear him do is mumble incoherently over and over again.

Mechanically, she turns to look at Gabriel Agreste who only stares at the hero with horror in his eyes.

“Father… I… why…” he continues to sob desperately.

“Father?” Ladybug echoes back. “What are you saying, Cat Noir?”
But the realization of her own words hits her like a bucket of iced cold water. Cat Noir is Adrien Agreste: Gabriel Agreste’s son and the boy she’s in love with.

She thinks she might faint. This can’t be real.

“Cat Noir…” she whispers, trying her best to grab her partner’s attention and help him calm down.

Except, her voice is too weak and there’s no energy in her to speak any louder so all she does is keep her grip on her yo-yo.

Suddenly, Cat Noir stands up and this time there’s fire in his eyes. “Why!” He hollers loudly as he walks towards Gabriel. “Why did you do this to me?!”

“What are you talking about?” Asks Gabriel. He knows what the hero is talking about, but he simply refuses so he pretends to not know.

A sudden burst of laughter emerges from Cat Noir’s voice but there is no amusement in him as he looks at a defeated Gabriel. “Don’t pretend…” the hero responds, staring straight into Gabriel’s eyes and penetrating his soul. The look he gives him is frightening enough that Gabriel just knows… Cat Noir is his son.

“How could you do this!” Cat Noir screams with a hoarse voice. He brings the brooch up to his face, “How could you use this to terrorize an entire city! What’s wrong with you!”

“Enough!” Ladybug suddenly yells. She can’t take this anymore, Cat Noir has completely lost his mind. She needs to put an end to this madness. “Cat Noir, give me the brooch.” She extends her hand to him, and Cat Noir wordlessly drops the miraculous in her hand. Then after a few contemplating seconds she retrieves her yo-yo. “What are you doing, Ladybug?” Asks Cat Noir with a clear look of surprise in his face.

“I want to know too,” she responds hesitantly, “why were you doing this, Gabriel?”

This time it’s Gabriel who begins to sob. Adrien is Cat Noir which means he’s been fighting his son the entire time. He’s a terrible father and now he’s paying the consequences of all his crimes.

“I’m sorry…” is the first thing he says, “I thought I was doing the right thing…”

“What in your twisted mind would make you think that all of this was okay?” That’s Adrien’s question because he simply can’t understand why his father would ever do something this terrible.

“Your mother…” Gabriel manages to whisper, “I wanted you to have your mother back.”

“What?” Adrien is left absolutely shocked by his father’s revelation. “What do you mean?”

“The truth, Adrien. I wanted your mother to return to us…”

“You can’t do that,” Ladybug suddenly says, “a terrible price would have to be paid in exchange for such a big wish.”

Gabriel says nothing because there’s nothing else he can say. Nothing he can do will redeem him and change the fact that he endangered his son’s life.

“What will you do with me?” He asks after a few long minutes of silence. Gabriel’s scared he doesn’t want to go to jail, he doesn’t want to abandon his son. Even though he’s been such a bad father.

“Go home,” Ladybug whispers, shocking both of them, “and you, Cat Noir, give me your ring.”

“What? Why?” Instinctively, Adrien brings his hand to his chest and covers his ring finger. He doesn’t want to give up his ring, he doesn’t want to lose Plagg or the freedom that the miraculous gives him. “If you’re going home together I cannot let you go with the ring that he was trying to steal.” Ladybug turns to look at Gabriel. She can see the shock in his face and maybe guilt, she isn’t sure.

“Why… why are you doing this?” Asks Gabriel. He’s been fighting Ladybug for such a long time, the last thing he imagined was that she would do this.

“I’m doing this for Adrien, not for you.” The bitterness in her voice is clear.
“Cat Noir…” she extends her hand out for him to give her the ring. Tears awfully fill his eyes and it hurts her to do this but she must. Adrien cannot be near his father with that ring.

“Claws in…” he whispers. The kwami swiftly abandons the ring. “Adrien…” Plagg’s voice sounds, “I promise we’ll see each other soon, Plagg.” Adrien takes a piece of camembert from his pocket and hands it to the kwami. “Thank you for being such a good friend.” He hands the ring to Ladybug as tears continue to flow down his face.

This is what Gabriel Agreste has done. He’s hurt his son in the most painful way possible and now there’s nothing he can do to fix this.

———

It’s late at night when Gabriel arrives home.

The house is completely dark and quiet but he manages to walk up the stairs and go to Adrien’s room.

He knocks, “Adrien… Can I come in.” There’s no response, so he knocks again. But once again there's no reply so very gently, Gabriel opens the door and makes his way in.

“Adrien?” He calls as he walks into the room.

Gabriel’s absolutely shocked to discover that there’s no one in the bedroom. Adrien is nowhere in sight and after searching for him, he knows he’s gone.

What has he done? His son is missing and there is no way on earth he can know where he’s gone.

So he waits…

Gabriel waits and waits for his son to appear but he never does.

Hours go by and exhaustion begins to pull at his eyelids. He’s mentally and physically tired, his soul is weakened by all the mental and physical battles.

So after long hours of waiting, Gabriel’s body finally surrenders to exhaustion.

———

“Father?” Adrien’s tired voice sounds. Gabriel’s eyes slowly begin to open as he notices that Adrien’s finally returned.

The first thing he notices is the sun’s morning rays shining through the large windows in the bedroom.

Adrien was gone all night.

“Adrien…” Gabriel carefully moves upright on the bed, instantly finding Adrien standing at the foot of the bed with fiery eyes.

The look in his eyes is the same as yesterday’s but this time he can see the hurt in face too. Gabriel notices the redness of his son’s eyes and how tired the boy looks. He looks extremely disheveled like he’s never seen him before.

Guilt immediately begins to fill his chest.

“Adrien, where were you?” Gabriel finally asks.

Adrien rolls his eyes, suppressing a huff. “Like if you care, please get out of my room.”

Gabriel can’t say that he didn’t expect this attitude from his son but seeing him like this is definitely surprising, after all Adrien has always been the most respectful boy he’s ever met. “Adrien, please I need to talk to you…”

“What do you want, huh? Are you just going to continue lying to me?”

“No, Adrien, I want to tell you the truth… Please let me.”

Adrien walks away from the bed, letting himself sink into the sofa instead. Instinctively, Gabriel follows him, quickly taking a seat next to him.

“I…” Gabriel attempts to speak but Adrien’s dull voice cuts through his.

“I guess I have to ask why you were doing this? You said for mom, but I just don’t understand.”

“Yes, Adrien, I wanted your mother to return. I wanted you to have your mother back.”

Adrien looks at his father with such confusion. All of this is like a real life nightmare. “I’ve accepted that mom is no longer here and you should’ve done the same.” Adrien turns to look into his father’s eyes, a sharp gaze striking his emerald orbs. “Or maybe this wasn’t for her, this was just something you were doing in order to gain ultimate power of some sort.”

“Adrien, I’m telling the truth, I did all of that to bring your mother back…”

Adrien’s voice sounds again, louder this time, “and you think that’s right? You think that terrorizing a city for your own personal gain is right. Even if you did this for her, I know mom would’ve never approved of something so heinous.”

Gabriel brings his head low, he’s truly ashamed and he aches from the inside for all the pain he’s causing his son. “I’m so sorry Adrien, this is my biggest regret, really. Believe me when I say that my heart truly hurts knowing that I ever fought you.”

And Gabriel isn’t lying. Knowing that he ever fought his own son is the biggest pain he’s ever experienced. It will be his biggest heartbreak in life.

“Are you really sorry, dad?” Adrien says, surprising himself and Gabriel. He moves from the sofa as he stands up, towering over his father in a very intimidating way. “Can I ever really trust you again? How do I know that you’ll never try something like this again?”

“Adrien…”

“Maybe, Ladybug should’ve just exposed you and sent you to jail after all it’s what you deserve for committing the crime of terrorism.”

Adrien’s words are frightening and alarming. The harshness of his voice sends chills down his spine.

How can he make Adrien trust him again?

“Answer me!” He hollers this time. But Gabriel stays mute to Adrien’s tough words.

“Maybe, I should go to the authorities myself and turn you in. I’m sure I’ll be praised for turning in the villian of Paris, even if that destroys me from the inside.”

Adrien’s words make Gabriel realize that what truly hurts his son is the betrayal and the fact that he was fighting his own father.

Adrien gets close to him, “do you want me to do that? He whispers.

“Adrien please…”

“Answer me! Do you want me to do that?!”

Gabriel shamelessly shakes his head, of course he doesn’t want Adrien to do that. Because even though he did wrong, he’d never be able to live without his only child.

“How will I ever trust you again then?” Adrien asks again, showing all the pain in his green eyes. Tears begin to flow down his cheeks, showing all the bitterness that currently fills his heart.

“How can I ever believe in you again? How will I know that you won’t try to do something like this again?”
Adrien repeats his question because that’s what’s been haunting him since the second Ladybug let them go.

But to his surprise, Gabriel says the most unusual and abrupt thing ever,

“I… I’m in love with Nathalie.” Gabriel blurts out.

“What?” Adrien barely whispers, his green eyes portraying all the shock this confession has left in him. But after a few long minutes of silence, a sudden burst of laughter emerges from Adrien’s throat. His father must’ve lost his mind…

“What are you talking about?” He asks, he can’t comprehend anything of what his father has just told him.

“I…” Gabriel takes a deep breath, gathering all the courage as possible to make up one of the biggest lies of his life again.

Why can’t he stop lying to his only child?

“Yes, Adrien, I’m in love with Nathalie, which means that you don’t have to worry about me doing anything crazy like that again because I have let your mother go now.”

Adrien shakes his head, bringing his fingers to his temples. “What are you talking about? You can’t really expect me to believe that?”

“It’s the truth, Adrien.” Gabriel is the worst person alive, he truly nauseates himself.

“The truth?” Adrien giggles again. “How are you saying this when only hours ago you were trying to bring back your wife?”

“I was doing it for you and… for her.” Gabriel whispers the last part.

“What?”

“I wanted you to have your mother back. I didn’t want you to lack the motherly love and grow up without your mother. And I wanted Emilie to have the opportunity of life again, she didn’t deserve to die so young and without raising her son first.”

Adrien’s eyes swell with tears to his father’s words. How can he be saying all of these things?

“So what? You were just going to divorce her or what?”

“I don’t know,” he responds, “maybe…”

His father has truly lost his mind.

“Does Nathalie know what you were doing?”

“No, no, of course not,” Gabriel lies without hesitation. “She doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling her.”

“Mmm, I guess she’d be very shocked to find out that her ‘boyfriend’ was trying to bring his wife back.”

Gabriel cringes at Adrien’s choice of words. This is more awful than he imagined.

“She doesn’t deserve that, you know?”

“What?”

“Nathalie doesn’t deserve to have such a terrible love.” Adrien says, staring into his father’s eyes, and searching for a sign of deception. But Gabriel's face stays as neutral as possible.

“I feel bad for her.”

Gabriel doesn’t say anything because Adrien is right. Nathalie doesn’t deserve to be used as his cover up.

“You can leave now.” Adrien says pointing at the door.

And with all the regret in the world, Gabriel finally abandons his son’s room.

———

Gabriel's heart pounds uncomfortably loud inside his chest as he instinctively lets himself fall on top of his bed. He still can’t believe what he told Adrien.

“Why would I say that?” He mumbles to himself.

But he knows why, he’s just being a fool and doesn’t want to admit the coward that he is. He knows what he did was wrong but there’s no going back now.

He must do something to make Adrien believe that he loves Nathalie. But how, if between him and Nathalie only exists a work relationship.

She’s his assistant nothing more. Yes, she’s aware of his former alter ego and yes she’s helped take care of Adrien since Emilie disappeared, but he’s never had feelings for her… at least not romantically.

He wonders if she’s ever felt anything for him, but the thought quickly abandons his brain. Because thinking about the reality of her feelings physically hurts his brain.

But even as he wants to stop, the fact of all that she’s done continues to beat inside his head like a broken record. Who would do so much for a misly paycheck? She’s kinder than anyone he’s ever met and she genuinely seems to care for Adrien.

The thought makes its way through his brain again because deep down Gabriel knows the truth of her feelings. The truth of her sentiments seem to be on repeat in his brain because he knows what they are and this makes everything he’s said worse. It’s like he is using her to make Adrien believe that he’s changed by falling in love with Nathalie. But that’s not true because Gabriel still loves his wife.

How will he get close to Nathalie to ensure that his lie to Adrien is believable.

———

It’s been days since his unmasking and it still feels unreal. Adrien avoids him almost every second of the day, as he’s taken the freedom to do what he wants. He doesn’t ask for permission to go out with friends anymore and simply does as he pleases.

Gabriel hasn’t said anything for the simple reason that he can’t. He can’t govern Adrien anymore, so all he does is watch his son live his life.

Gabriel stares into the painting ahead of him, his eyes lost in the green orbs of his late wife. How he misses her and knowing that he won’t ever see her again tears his heart apart. He still loves her and misses her more than anything, but Hawkmoth was unmasked and his mission has now come to a tragic end.

“Is everything okay, sir?” Nathalie’s voice sounds through the stillness of the atelier.

Gabriel turns around, meeting her gaze.

“Are you going to…” she points at the painting where the hidden buttons lead to his former layer.

“No, I’m not going to transform…” he says, looking into her blue gaze and instantly her eyes widened a bit to his words.

Gabriel notices immediately, “is that what you were asking me?” He questions, keeping his eyes fixed on her.

Nathalie nods, feeling a bit uneasy as his eyes seem to be stuck on her in a way that they’ve never been before.

“Well, I’m not…” he says, “in fact I’m never doing it again.”

“What?”

“I said I’m never doing it again…”

“Why?” Did something happen?”

Telling her the truth is absolutely embarrassing and his pride is too great to ever expose himself like that so he won’t tell her. Besides, he’s very aware of what he told Adrien a few days ago. He needs to do something to make his son believe that what he said is true… That he is in love with Nathalie.

“Yes, something did happen… my feelings… they’ve changed.”

Nathalie looks at him with confusion, “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not understanding.”

Gabriel suddenly begins to approach her, and oddly she tenses up to his closeness, “I have new feelings making my old ones disappear.”

“What does that mean?” She asks very softly as Gabriel now stands face to face with her.

“It means that I’ve ended my pursuit for the miraculous and that I will never again become Hawkmoth or terrorize Paris.”

This is absolutely shocking, Nathalie never imagined that her boss would give up on bringing his wife back.

But she can’t say that this news doesn’t make her a bit relieved because it does. Knowing that he is no longer risking himself is a rest to her worried mind, and a comfort for her hopeless heart. Yet, she is still extremely confused, after all she’s never seen a man love someone as much as Gabriel loves Emilie.

“I’m sorry, sir, but does this have to do with Adrien?”

Gabriel’s heart drops in an instant. Of course it does but she doesn’t know that.

“Because I’ve seen you two acting strange these past couple days. Adrien does as he wants and you do not say anything. Why?”

“I want my son to live his teenage years with freedom and enjoy the fun he deserves. I realize that the way I had him so enslaved with work and studies was wrong.”

Gabriel lies too cowardly to her. Because he in fact hates this new habit Adrien’s picked up but there’s nothing he can do about it.

Nathalie again looks at him with oddness, she is not understanding the situation in the Agreste manor.

“I’m glad Adrien gets to have more freedom.” She says, “But I must admit that I’m a little worried about the interaction between you two.”

“There’s nothing you need to worry about Nathalie. You have already done so much…” Gabriel quickly takes hold of her hands, “you’ve taken care of my son in a way that you didn’t need to. You’ve helped me through my past grief and supported me with my former alter ego.”

Gabriel brings her hands close to his lips, “thank you for all of that. My heart truly appreciates it all.” He then plants a very gentle kiss on the soft skin of her knuckles.

Nathalie’s heart shakes with that sudden action. The touch of his warm lips causes a sudden burst of emotions in her hopelessly in love heart.

But quickly she moves her hands away from his, “I’m sorry, sir, but are you saying that you will no longer try to bring your wife back?”

Gabriel nods, “Yes, that’s what I mean. My wife is resting now, and that is how I must let her be. I must now move on with my life and find a new purpose and perhaps… a new love.”

He reaches for her hand again, and places a kiss once again. “I hope you support my new decision.” He whispers.

Nathalie doesn’t say anything, only nodding her head and then walking away from him and back to her desk. Her heart beating incredibly loud inside her ears.

———

During the day, Gabriel didn’t have the courage to speak to Nathalie after telling her that he ended his pursuit for the miraculous.

He’s noticed how Adrien’s been giving her odd looks, almost as if he’d want to ask her something. Gabriel imagines that what he wants to ask is if she really is in a relationship with him.

It petrifies him to imagine Adrien asking Nathalie if they’re in a relationship and confirming that he lied once again. He’s sure his son won’t take another lie, and if he were to ever discover that he lied about being in love with Nathalie he would without doubt turn him in to the authorities.

So that’s how Gabriel finds himself sitting in his car outside Nathalie’s apartment. He’s been here for more than an hour but he can’t seem to find the courage to get out.

He feels so useless, how will he go in there and tell her what’s happening?

A million scenarios go through his head, but he discards every single one of them for fear of Nathalie not accepting to be his cover up.

The only plausible scenario would be to start a fake relationship with her without her knowing it’s fake and then ending it after a reasonable time.

“I’m such a coward.” He whispers to himself. The fact that he’s thought about something so twisted sickens him. Nathalie doesn’t deserve that but there’s no going back now, so Gabriel finally decides to exit his vehicle.

As he walks towards the building, he notices a bush with yellow roses and quickly picks out any. Then he digs his hand into his coat, quickly taking out a liquor container and taking a shot in hopes of finding some bravery.

———

Gabriel uses his right hand to deliver a firm knock on her door, his left hand keeps a tough grip on the yellow rose.

When she answers the door the sight that greets him is more than surprising.

Nathalie is wearing an oversized t-shirt that looks obnoxiously unprofessional. The t-shirt hangs off her torso barely allowing the shorts that she wears to be visible as her loose hair frames her face in a way he’s never seen before.

Gabriel’s first thought is to flee this place; this is probably the most uncomfortable situation that he’s willingly placed himself in.

“Sir?” Her voice sounds as confused as the look that paints her face.

“Nathalie…” he whispers, “can I come in?”

Nathalie looks down at her embarrassing clothes and slowly moves out of the way to let him in.

“I’ll go change, sir, please give me a minute.”

She’s ready to walk away, but Gabriel’s voice stops her dead in her tracks.

“No,” he says, looking down at her clothes, “you don’t have to change, this is your house you can do whatever you want.”

Nathalie’s so confused, his attitude is as strange as it was earlier in the mansion. And she can’t comprehend what he’s doing at her apartment so late at night?

“Do you require something, sir?”

“Uhh, yes, I… wanted to give you this…” Gabriel hands her the rose as he walks towards her. He blows on it, trying to get rid of the dust, causing a few petals to fall before she takes a hold of it.

Nathalie hesitantly reaches for the flower, “you came all the way over here to give me this?”

“Uhh…” he stutters, but her words cut straight through his’ in an instant.

“I’m sorry, but is this from the flower bush that’s outside my apartment?” Nathalie is now more confused than before. What is wrong with her boss?

“No.” He says embarrassingly fast.

Nathalie squints her eyes, “no it’s not the rose from the bush outside or no you didn’t come to just give me this?”

Gabriel shakes his head realizing the fool that he’s making out of himself. But instead of saying something to save his reputation all he does is walk towards her, swiftly taking a hold of her hands.

This is the third time today that he’s done that and each time it causes a wave of unexplained emotions to invade her.

She’s about to ask him what’s happening, but the sudden sobbing that leaves his mouth causes her words to go mute in an instant.

Gabriel begins to cry in front of her and over her hands like she’s never seen before. Tears wet his face as a huge cloud of agony begins to take over him completely.

“What’s wrong, sir?” She attempts to ask but his sobs continue too loudly so all she can do is wait for him to settle down.

Instinctively, she pulls him towards the sofa in her living room and helps him take a seat in hopes of him finding respite there.

“Sir, are you okay?”

“No, I’m not okay… my heart is so hopelessly in love.”

What is he talking about? He isn’t making much sense.

“Sir… are you… are you drunk?” She asks, smelling the liquor from his breath.

“No!” He quickly says, “my words are not a product of alcohol… they are the words that sit in my heart.”

He’s such a liar! He’s really lying to her in the most harmful and shameless way possible.

“I… I think I’ve fallen in love with you.” He says this time letting his face get close to hers.

But Nathalie moves away from him because his words are the most alarming ones she’s heard, even if her heart feels as if it were about to burst.

“How can you be saying that?” She asks, tears unwittingly filling her eyes.

“I’ve seen how you are with my son, Nathalie. How you’ve helped me so much and stood by my side in the darkest, loneliest times of my life. You’ve done for me what nobody else has, and that’s made my heart love you.”

He gets close to her again, “will you accept me?”

Nathalie shakes her head, “Sir, I think you need to rest. You aren’t thinking straight.”

“You’re right,” he says, taking a deep breath, “I do need to rest but I assure you that I am thinking perfectly straight.”

Nathalie moves away from the sofa, and Gabriel instantly falls to one side, letting his eyes close to the exhaustion he currently feels.

Nathalie observes him, her boss is simply intoxicated. The fact that he’s made the right choice by letting his wife rest is consuming him too much.

Because she knows very well that he still loves Emilie and everything he’s just told her is a rare reaction to alcohol consumption.

Chapter Text

Nathalie barely slept last night. The words of her boss echoed in her brain all night long. She still doesn’t understand where all his words came from, but what she does know is that he surely didn’t mean them.

Because there is no way on earth that Gabriel would stop loving Emilie even if he did give up on bringing her back. She knows that he did it for his mental health and Adrien’s wellbeing. Being Hawkmoth was too risky for him and his son.

———

Quietly, Nathalie stretches on the armchair and grabs her phone to check the time.

It’s early, she has more than enough time to get ready for work even as she stares at her boss sleeping on her sofa.

She doesn’t know what to do. Gabriel is still deep asleep and it doesn’t seem right to wake him so she just sits there and stares at his sleeping face.

He looks tired even as his eyes are glued shut and his soft snores fill the quietness of her living room. His face pressed against the cushion reveals the vulnerability of his state, and Nathalie realizes that this is probably the most exposed she’s ever seen Gabriel Agreste. Because even when he’d cry about his past defeats as Hawkmoth, Nathalie never saw him like this.

Her heart shrinks to the sight of him and all his burdens. It’s hard for her not to sympathize with him when he lost the person he loved the most. It’s also hard to avoid the growing feelings of affection and warmth that always seem to call at her when she’s near him. She feels bad for him and Adrien and no matter how hard she’s tried to limit herself to only her duties, she always ends up caring for them more than she should.

The thought of how her feelings have unexpectedly grown in her always makes her head spin because she knows that Gabriel will always love Emilie.

———

Slowly, utterly slowly, Nathalie walks towards him and kneels down, leveling her face to his. Very gently she allows the tips of her fingers to trace the outlines of his face. Her fingers follow the patterns of his very defined bone structure as she notices how his shockingly long eyelashes touch his under eyes when he sleeps.

She had never noticed before and then the thought enters her brain, Gabriel Agreste is a very attractive man.

Surprisingly, his skin feels very soft even as it would appear that he doesn’t put much time into taking care of his skin. After all, Gabriel’s an incredibly busy man, she can’t imagine him having the time to even put on sunscreen. But as her fingers continue to move across his face, Nathalie realizes that he must have a skin care routine because there is no way that his skin would be so naturally soft.

And then after a few long minutes, Gabriel’s blue-gray eyes suddenly snap open, causing her heart to almost jump out of her chest. Nathalie loses her balance and falls back onto the carpet. Her bottom crashes loudly against the floor and a squeal escapes her throat. Horror and embarrassment paint her face as she moves away from him.

“Are you okay?” Gabriel’s hoarse voice asks, seeing how roughly she hit the floor.

“Yes… yes… I’m sorry…” she stutters, her face red as an apple.

Gabriel sits up from the sofa, extending his hand to help her up.

Hesitantly, Nathalie takes it and Gabriel pulls her all the way up making her sit next to him on the sofa.

He moves away from her, making sure to give her enough space. “What happened, why were you…” he’s about to ask her why she was so close to him, but he doesn’t want to embarrass her more so he just saves the question. “I’m sorry, never mind.”

Instead, Gabriel stretches his arms as he begins to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

Nathalie watches him utterly silent, embarrassment still burning the pit of her stomach.

“What time is it?” He asks, finally meeting her gaze again.

She stands up, moving away from him and grabbing her cellphone, “It’s only 6:15, sir.”

Gabriel nods, “what time do you usually get ready for work?”

“Around this time, sir.”

Gabriel nods again, and Nathalie can’t help but notice how weird he’s acting. He literally slept on her couch after saying the most confusing things last night and now he’s acting like nothing happened?

What’s wrong with him?

She hasn’t much time to ponder on the thought because Gabriel suddenly stands up from the couch and begins to scroll through his phone.

“May I use your bathroom?” He asks, keeping his eyes stuck on his screen.

“Sure, it’s the door on the right.” Nathalie points towards the hallway and Gabriel only turns around and heads to the bathroom.

She takes the opportunity to sprint to her room and get out of her embarrassing clothes.

She jumps into the shower, and gets out of there in record time. As soon as she’s done changing into her work clothes, Nathalie waits by her door and presses her ear against the wooden door.

It’s dead silent. There’s absolutely no noise coming out of the living room or any part of the apartment, so very quietly she opens the door.

Nathalie peeks out, hoping and wishing Gabriel is gone because this morning and last night have been the most awkward moments of her life.

As she walks through the hallway, the smell of coffee suddenly invades her nostrils.

Gabriel is still here and she doesn’t understand why. His presence makes her look want to turn around and lock herself in her bedroom until he’s gone. Because she simply can’t handle the words that spilled from his mouth last night.

He said that he loves her and that’s more than enough to cause an overwhelming amount of stress and heartbreak in her.

———

Nathalie finds Gabriel sitting on one of the tall chairs on her kitchen island. His eyes seem lost in thought as he sips from the coffee cup.

“I made myself some coffee, I hope that doesn’t bother you.” He says as soon as he finds her staring at him.

Nathalie shakes her head. It doesn’t bother her… it concerns her.

“Would you like some?” He asks as if this were his kitchen and his coffee.

She doesn’t say anything, she only nods her head in response because all words seem to be lost inside her.

Gabriel swiftly gets on his feet and pours some steaming coffee into a mug and then hands it to her.

Their fingers barely touch as she takes the mug from him. And his eyes follow every one of her movements but they say nothing because the awkwardness of their situation is quite literally drowning.

“You look very pretty without your glasses.” He suddenly speaks after what seems like an eternal silence.

“Your eyes look extra blue without them… they’re very pretty.”

Instinctively, Nathalie brings her head down, her cheeks staining red. She doesn’t say anything because she doesn’t know what to say. Gabriel’s never before complimented her, she’s no idea how to react even as the butterflies in her stomach swerve around like crazy.

“I’m sorry…” he says, getting close to her and dipping his fingers under her chin. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m only telling the truth, your eyes are very beautiful.” He gently brings her face up and makes their eyes meet.

He nods and smiles, “yeah, your eyes are very pretty.” And Gabriel isn’t lying. Never before had he paid attention to her eyes or anything of hers, but as he stands here staring into her ocean-like gaze he can’t help but notice the loveliness of her eyes and the beauty of her face.

It causes something in his brain to snap because he isn’t supposed to be doing any of this, yet he can’t seem to stop.

———

They walkout of the apartment complex in utter silence. It seems that keeping quiet or saying the most insane things possible is Gabriel’s now new nature.

Nathalie walks towards her vehicle, searching for her keys inside her bag.

“We can go in my car.” Gabriel says, walking right next to her.

She turns around to look at him, he’s now offering to take her to work?

“No thank you, sir, I can manage to arrive there on my own.”

“We’re headed to the same place, why not go together.”

“Sir…” she tries to speak but his words suddenly interrupt her.

“Please, don’t call me that anymore.”

Nathalie squints her eyes in confusion. “I’m sorry, you don’t want me to call you what anymore?”

“That…” he points at her mouth, “I don’t want you to call me ‘sir’ anymore, please just call me Gabriel.”
He smiles, like he hasn't just said the oddest thing ever.

Nathalie shakes her head because maybe that will help her understand her boss’ very strange behavior. “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t think I’m capable of doing that.”

Gabriel takes a hold of her hand, “please, just try…”

He then begins to walk them towards his own vehicle. “Sir, what are you doing?”

Gabriel takes a very deep breath, “I said that we should just take my vehicle since we’re going to the same place.”

“But how will I get back home at the end of the day?”

“Placide can bring you back, come on now.” Gabriel holds onto her hand the entire time it takes them to get to his car. The warmth of his hand only causes the growing bewilderment to expand across her mind.

———

They’ve been working for a few hours now. Adrien didn’t acknowledge him at all when he came in to ask Nathalie for his schedule.

Gabriel wonders why he did that when he knows that he won’t follow it anymore. Adrien now picks and chooses what he will do and when he will do it. He can tell that Nathalie is concerned over the odd behavior among the two, but he won’t dare tell her the reality of their situation.

He can’t tell her anything when he’s lied to her in hopes of making Adrien believe that they’re in a relationship.

His eyes wander off to her, hearing as her fingers click on the keyboard and accompany the silence of the atelier. Gabriel notices how her eyebrows crease in concentration as she works as she always has. He wonders what is going through her mind right now.

How is she so professional even after all that he said just hours ago. The thought enters his brain… Nathalie Sancouer is an extraordinary woman.

And he… Gabriel Agreste is a pathetic man.

The way he’s lied so much to her in such a short period of time is truly astonishing. How has he been capable of such low actions? Nathalie doesn’t deserve it and he knows that very well.

He feels awful only remembering the things he said to her last night. Guilt seems to be stuck inside him since the moment he decided he would make her his cover up. Cowardly and without a doubt, he’s invaded her personal life, seeking for her to fall for him.

Because deep down Gabriel knows that Nathalie’s felt something for him. He didn’t uselessly have the miraculous of the butterfly to not know the feelings of the people around him.

Gabriel knows very well Nathalie’s feelings for him and Adrien. He knows that she cares way too much for them and that her affection for them goes way beyond her responsibilities. Gabriel also knows that her feelings for him are ones that she’s attempted to bury for a very long time.

So yes, Gabriel Agreste knows that his assistant is hopelessly in love with him. And that’s what’s made him use her as his facade in hopes of avoiding Adrien’s growing resentment.

He turns around to stare at the portrait of his wife again. It’s his habit, he will forever look at this painting because that’s all he has left to do.

———

Adrien opens the door of the atelier and pokes his head in, his eyes wandering around the room.

“Do you need something, Adrien?” It’s Nathalie who asks, Gabriel only stares at him as if he’s afraid of anything he might say.

“Yes, I’m sorry to interrupt,” he says looking only at Nathalie, “but I need to speak with my father, if you could give us a minute, I’d appreciate it.”

Nathalie turns seeking Gabriel’s approval, and oddly he agrees. He nods his head and dismisses her.

Gabriel has never accepted any of Adrien’s attempts to speak to him during working hours. And Adrien’s never done this, he always knows his father is too busy to ever receive him.

But Nathalie doesn’t say anything and only limits herself to exit the room. Even as she knows that whatever might be happening between father and son might be very serious.

“How can I help you, Adrien?” Gabriel's raspy voice sounds.

Adrien rolls his eyes, walking close to him. “You must know that I do not wish to speak to you. I’m only here because I find myself obligated to.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows crease in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that after many days reflecting, I’ve decided not to report you to the authorities.”

“You were still contemplating on turning me in?” Gabriel sounds shocked, he thought that Adrien had decided since the beginning to not turn him in.

“Of course I was, you were Hawkmoth after all…”

The fact that Adrien is willingly able to point out that he was Hawkmoth makes his insides twist each time. It’s as if he were afraid that Adrien would change his mind even as he’s just said he won’t turn him in.

“Please, I beg you not to mention it again…” Gabriel’s fears are more alive than ever. Adrien can’t be mentioning this every time they speak.

“I won’t anymore because like I said I’ve decided to keep my mouth shut.” The bitterness in his voice sounds so deep.

Adrien begins to approach his father who stands utterly still behind his screen, “You don’t deserve Ladybug’s kindness and my compassion, but we’re giving it to you… I just hope we don’t regret this.”
He whispers that last part as if all the sorrow in the world was his crown.

“You’re right,” Gabriel says, tears filling his gray eyes, “I don’t deserve anything that is currently being given to me and I surely don’t deserve a son like you.”

Adrien can’t help but roll his eyes again because Gabriel’s never shown him the affection that he’s always craved.

“You’re a hero and you’re so loved by everyone, and I, I’m a monster who didn’t care about your safety.”

“You’re right you didn’t care about my safety and you surely never cared about my feelings.”

Gabriel shakes his head, “I know I’ve never shown it but please believe me when I say that you are the person I love the most in this world.”

His father's words have just struck him, and he can’t avoid the tears that now stream down his face. Because at the end of the day, Adrien will always be that little boy who simply wants his father’s love.

With a very emotional voice, he looks into his father’s eyes, “I already said what I needed to say, just know that any type of slip up will undoubtedly send you to prison. If I ever find out that you lied to me again, I will not hesitate a second time.”

Adrien walks away and Gabriel’s heart begins to burn with the fact that he’s lied to him a second time. Gabriel has lied about his supposed relationship with Nathalie, he’s come up with one of the most distorted lies yet.

He must find a way to convince Adrien that their relationship is real. He cannot have him discover that he lied again…

———

The evening approaches them rather quickly. The sun is completely masked by the darkness of the Paris night.

“Can you please close the window, it’s getting cold in here.” Gabriel’s eyes are stuck on his screen, only hearing as Nathalie does as he asked.

“Sir, I’ll be heading home now. Will you please tell Placide to take me home.”

Gabriel’s eyes snap away from his screen, as he finds Nathalie standing in the middle of the atelier with her bag in hand. He had completely forgotten that they had arrived in his vehicle together.

“No… I…” this is his chance, “I actually wanted to invite you out for dinner…”

Her eyes widened to his words, first he comes to her apartment late at night and says the strangest words and now he’s inviting her out for dinner.

“Excuse me?” She asks, the same expression of surprise in her face.

“Will you go out to dinner with me?” He asks again.

Nathalie tries to respond but before she refuses his words Gabriel interrupts her immediately.

“I didn’t want to repeat the words I told you yesterday because I didn’t want them disrupting our work but you must know that they aren’t a lie.”

Nathalie brings her head low, her boss has begun to act strange again and this time he isn’t intoxicated.

“Sir, I didn’t have a chance to say anything yesterday but I’m just so confused.”

Gabriel takes a deep breath, walking towards her, “I know and I apologize for that but I beg you to not rebuke me.”

He leans in to press a very soft kiss to her cheek, “please…” he whispers against her pale skin.

His words sound so quiet and feel so soft against her skin that she doesn’t have it in her to rebuke him. Because in her wildest dreams she had imagined Gabriel Agreste turning around and looking at her.

She slowly nods her head, “Fine.”

Gabriel smiles, “thank you my, Nathalie. I’ll have Placide prepare the car for us.”

“I just need to ask something.” Nathalie fidgets a bit with hands, “is something wrong with you and Adrien?”

Gabriel's insides twist. Nathalie is very intelligent, nothing gets past her.

“You know I’ve decided to give him more freedom.” He mumbles.

“I know but I’ve noticed that he seems down and maybe a bit sad even though he has more freedom now.”

Gabriel’s heart shrinks, his poor boy has been so depressed since everything came to light. He feels bad and he knows that this will be his greatest regret in life.

“Adrien is fine, you don’t have to worry about him. You’ve already done so much for us…”

Gabriel smiles at her again as it seems like it’s now his habit to do so. All stern looks from his face now appear to be replaced by the soft smiles that adorn his face, and Nathalie can’t help but feel her heart flutter to the new gentleness that surrounds him.

———

They arrive at a discreet yet elegant Italian restaurant in downtown Paris.

They're sat in one of the more reserved areas of the restaurant near a lovely balcony that leads to the cool Paris night. The restaurant's pianist plays a lovely song while the waiter lights the candle that sits on the center of their table. A single red rose rests inside a vase, allowing for the area to be set in a romantic way.

Yet, for all the loveliness of the restaurant, Nathalie cannot seem to concentrate on anything. Gabriel’s actions and words continue to buzz in her brain, making everything feel so surreal.

Gabriel mindlessly flips through the menu, his own mind racing to the fact that he’s actually sitting here, having a date with his assistant.

“What will you order?” He asks, keeping his eyes on the menu.

“I think I might just get the spaghetti.” She mumbles shyly.

“Then I’ll get the same thing.” He says, sipping on the red wine, and oddly avoiding her gaze.

“May I ask you something?” Her voice sounds so hesitant.

Finally, Gabriel glances up in order to let their eyes meet. Finding her warm and shining blue eyes, his own nervousness grows. “Sure,” it’s all he can say.

“Why are you doing this?” It’s a question that requires an answer. “Why so suddenly? Did something happen? You know you can tell, I won’t feel offended, I promise.” Because deep down all she wants is to understand what has gotten into him to suddenly have this ‘interest’ in her.

Gabriel’s nerves grow to her sudden question. Nathalie’s here asking to know the reality of his actions, and again he realizes how smart she is. She definitely knows something is wrong.

“You won’t?” He questions this time.

“I’m sorry?”

“You won’t be offended?”

Nathalie shakes her head, feeling as her blood runs through her veins because now she’s afraid of anything he might say. She braces herself and waits for anything that might leave his mouth.

But strangely all Gabriel does is take the rose from the vase and puts it in front of her. He won’t tell her the truth, he’s lied so much to her already, telling her that he didn’t mean what he said will surely shatter her heart.

“This rose is beautiful but not as beautiful as you.” His eyes glow with an indescribable light as he extends the flower to her, “here take it…”

Nathalie reaches for it, “Why are you saying this to me?” She asks.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that just days ago, all you wanted was your wife back, you were willing to do the unthinkable for her and now you’re here saying these things to me…”

Nathalie is right, he can’t even imagine how crazy he looks in front of her eyes.

“I’m saying this because it’s the truth. You are very beautiful, Nathalie.” And this time Gabriel isn’t lying, Nathalie really is pretty. She’s as delicate as a flower and as loyal as a servant. He’s sure she’s the dream of many men, yet he has her here, preventing her from finding a worthy love.

“I don’t understand.” She says, bringing her head low.

“I know it’s confusing, but what you need to know is that I like you and I wish for you to accept me.” This time a single tear runs down his left eye, and she can’t help but feel how his glistening tear makes way through her pounding chest.

“My desire isn’t to make you feel uncomfortable, Nathalie all I want is for you to accept me.” Gabriel reaches for her hand, and lets their fingers entwine. “Please don’t rebuke me without thinking about it.”

Nathalie nods, she doesn’t want to reject him because deep down this is what she’d dream about when night came along. Even when she knew that Gabriel loved Emilie and the thought of taking another woman’s husband was wrong. But now Gabriel Agreste sits in front of her while his wife rests and her hopelessly in love heart begins to gain some hope.

———

And if the dinner hadn’t been strange enough, Nathalie now finds herself walking down a solitary park with Gabriel by her side. His odd yet nearly electrifying words continue to linger heavily over them. But it’s not just his words that linger around like a cloud, it’s the fact that she promised she wouldn’t feel offended, that she only wants the truth.

Gabriel’s heart pounds like a drum, feeling incapable of telling her the truth. He can only let his fingers brush over her hand, continuing to pretend that what his mouth speaks is the truth.

Ironic it all is. After all, he wouldn’t be here if his son and Ladybug hadn’t unmasked him.

His fingers continue to move, and Nathalie gasps to the light touch he produces. “You’ve always been my anchor in this chaotic world I live in, don’t be surprised when I say what I feel.”

Perhaps he’s beginning to feel the weight of his lies, because a shearing pain enters his chest, but Gabriel ignores it, only focusing on her.

Their feet stop moving. “But…” except, Nathalie isn’t exactly sure what to say. The weight of her unspoken feelings hang in the cold air. How is she supposed to tell him what her own heart feels?

“Shh,” his index finger touches her lips, wanting to silence her. “I want to explore what this can become.” He gets closer. “Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll leave you alone.” Yet, he knows that that’s the last thing he wants to hear. If she’d tell him to leave her alone, Gabriel would be exposed and Adrien would discover that everything that he said was a lie.

Deep blue eyes glow and glisten to his words. They all feel like a dream.

“Will you tell me to leave you alone?” He asks again. But Nathalie doesn’t respond, all her courage is lost to his words.

“Why do I get the impression that you don’t want me to leave you alone?” He says what he knows. Because Gabriel knows Nathalie loves him, and that’s what makes him feel like the worst person alive.

“I… I” she stutters mindlessly.

“You’ll let me explore?” This time his eyes fall to her lips as his index finger traces the outlines of them.

“I think I want that.” She can only whisper in response. And suddenly, her voice fills with hope, finally believing her silent love has been reciprocated after so long.

Gabriel smiles, his eyes losing themselves in her face. So utterly full of hope and love, it makes him feel so awfully guilty. Gray eyes continue to stare at her, and all the times he’s called her beautiful makes him realize that she in fact is very pretty.

Torn between his lies and her lips, Gabriel can only lean in to press a gentle kiss onto them.

Making everything more complicated yet oddly clear.

As clear as water.

He can’t be lying now, that’s what her brain screams as Gabriel moves his lips over hers in a slow and steady dance. It’s gentle and it’s sweet. Making her enamored soul love him more and more.

And as Gabriel struggles to reveal the truth, Nathalie falls deeper and deeper into his web of lies.

Fearing their fragile bond will be forever broken if he reveals the truth of what happened with the heroes, Gabriel only lets himself kiss her more. Perhaps it won’t be too bad to continue this lie for a little while.

That’s what his inner voice whispers as Nathalie kisses him back in the most mesmerizing form possible.

Chapter Text

Gabriel's arm is warm around her as they enter the kitchen.

“Please have a seat.” He says, pulling out one of the tall chairs located behind the island. “The chef just finished preparing breakfast. I don’t know what you like so I asked him to make a variety of things.”

Nathalie smiles, “Thank you, Gabriel.” She takes a seat, turning to look at the kitchen doors. “Are you sure Adrien’s gone to school already?”

“Yes…” he mumbles without meeting her gaze, “I already told you he decided to leave early today.” He turns to look at the doors, knowing very well that he’s just lied to her.

“Please, help yourself, grab anything that looks appetizing to you.” He hands her a plate, and Nathalie begins to serve herself some fruit.

It’s awkward to be here at her work place having breakfast with her boss. She never imagined she’d be sitting in this kitchen, experiencing such a surreal moment with him. As she looks at Gabriel who sits beside her, she thinks how now he isn’t just her boss but now he’s also her boyfriend. The word and the thought sound childish but the fact that a few weeks ago, Gabriel asked her if she wanted to begin a relationship with him makes him her boyfriend/significant other. It’s all strange and oddly it’s different from what she expected. Nathalie never imagined a relationship with Gabriel, all she knew was that she had feelings for him. She always hoped that her feelings for him would fade but now in just a few weeks, her feelings for him have grown like never before. It’s not that Gabriel is the most romantic man she’s met because he isn’t, it’s just that her heart has seemed to gain an unexplainable love for him that goes beyond her own understanding.

“Do you like the food?” He asks, his eyes staring at the doors of the kitchen.

Nathalie nods, “Yes, thank you for inviting me to have breakfast with you.”

She turns to look at the doors too, “Is everything okay?” She asks, “why do you keep looking at the doors?”

Gabriel turns to meet her gaze and she can't help but notice that he seems a bit fidgety. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I was doing that…” he responds, leaning in to press a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Are you okay? You seem a bit nervous.”

He’s about to respond when suddenly the kitchen doors fly open. Adrien walks in dressed for school, and Nathalie stands up almost immediately. Shock paints her face as she turns to look at Gabriel, seemingly searching for answers. After all, he had said Adrien was at school.

She moves away from the island and away from Gabriel, trying her best to look professional again.

“Father?” Adrien questions, looking between Gabriel and Nathalie.

“Adrien…” Gabriel says hesitantly, “I thought you had left for school already…”

Adrien looks at him with a puzzled expression, “What do you mean, it’s still early.” He then turns to look at Nathalie who stands near his father with a look of embarrassment and horror.

“Nathalie,” the boy greets, “good morning, you’re here early.”

Nathalie nods, “Good morning, Adrien, I was just…” she tries to respond but Gabriel’s sudden words interrupt her.

“Nathalie just came to have breakfast with me”. There’s a strangely, forced smile on Gabriel’s face as the words leave his mouth, and Nathalie wants to object because this is probably the most embarrassing situation she’s ever found herself in. But suddenly Gabriel’s hand reaches for hers, and his hold becomes oddly tight.

He makes their fingers entwine as he keeps his iron grip, and brings their hands up onto the island, almost making them a display. “Will you have breakfast with us, Adrien?”

Adrien rolls his eyes and shakes his head, “No, I just came to grab my lunch, I’ll get a pastry at the Dupain-Cheng bakery… you two enjoy your breakfast.” Then he’s out of there in less than a second.

As soon as he disappears, Gabriel lets go of her hand, and takes a deep breath. It’s almost as if had been holding his breath the entire time Adrien was here. And Nathalie can’t help but feel as if Gabriel wanted Adrien to see them together in that way.

“I’m sorry Gabriel but I thought you said Adrien had left for school already.”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I thought he had but I guess he was still here.” His voice sounds a bit shaky.

Nathalie squints her eyes, “I just feel embarrassed I didn’t want him to see me acting so unprofessional.”

“Don’t worry about it, you know Adrien is a kind boy, he won’t think bad about you. Here, take a seat and finish your breakfast.”

Nathalie doesn’t say anything, only taking a seat again as her mind continues to feel as if Gabriel wanted to show off their relationship.

———

Glances are exchanged and silence takes over them but eventually, Gabriel and Nathalie arrive at the company’s headquarters.

Nathalie stands at the edge of the room where Gabriel will be selecting a few fabrics. Unaware of what roams his head day and night, she begins her tasks. She delicately places each fabric onto the table for him to inspect and as her hands move, his thoughts begin to race.

He stares at her from a distance, and he wonders if what he’s doing is worth it. He’s looked at her during their shared moments the past weeks, and he can’t find love in his heart for her as he felt for Emilie. There exists appreciation and light affection, but no true love is found in between that all. Then he sees the love she has for him. With the way she smiles at him. The way her eyes glow and sparkle during his vague attempts to be romantic, but he isn’t any good at that either. And Nathalie doesn’t complain nor reject him, but accepts it all, and that’s what makes him realize that she’s truly in love.

But then the same thought returns like it always does.

Is everything that he’s doing worth it?
Yes, that’s his immediate answer.

Gabriel’s reputation demands perfection, and Nathalie perhaps is meant to unknowingly bore the weight of his own twisted desires. Leaving only the whispers of his broken conscience to linger around him, whispers that tell him he’s being selfish and cruel, Gabriel finally begins his pending work.

Nathalie on the other hand is awfully grappled with her own insecurities. Debating whether he truly loves her or not. But she waits, thinking any day he’ll tell her that he was mistaken about his feelings towards her. She often wonders how she’ll cope with it if he does. Convinced she is only a shadow in Gabriel’s brilliant world, yet in these weeks, they’ve found themselves being each other’s comfort and company. Something she’d never imagine happening between them.

———

Gabriel inspects every fabric with deep attention. His hands touch the delicate fabrics to make sure that they are the best quality possible. Nathalie and his team stand behind him ready for any comment or suggestion.

“I don’t like this one, it’s too thick and heavy, you can discard it.”

Nathalie motions for the person in charge of disposing the fabrics to take it away from the table.

The man takes the long and heavy fabric and begins to drag it towards the bin where they dispose of unwanted materials. It’s ridiculously heavy for a fabric as he seems to be struggling with its weight, and so Nathalie decides to give him a hand. Together they begin to pull the fabric towards the bin, but as they get closer, Nathalie's right foot gets trapped in between the thick cloth.

“Wait, my foot got stuck…” she says, trying to pull away.

But her partner doesn’t seem to hear and only keeps walking towards the bin. His continued force on the fabric makes her lose her balance and hit the floor instantly.

A yelp escapes her throat as she falls, “Nathalie!” Gabriel exclaims, “are you okay?” He swiftly kneels by her side, trying to get her foot out of the thick fabric.

“Will you help me here…” he commands the people around him. Quickly, the employees go to help him untangle her foot.

“Did you hurt yourself?” Gabriel asks as soon as they free her foot.

“I think so…” Nathalie winces in pain.

“Let me help you up.” He says, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her up.

A strangled protest abandons her throat as she feels her foot touch the floor. “I don’t think I can stand up right.” She whispers with obvious pain and embarrassment.

Gabriel turns around looking at the people in the room, “You’re all dismissed.” And as soon as they all abandon the room, Gabriel lifts her off the ground and takes her to the small sofa located inside the room.

“I think I should call a doctor.” He says, taking her shoe off her right foot.

Nathalie shakes her head, “I don’t think that will be necessary, I think I just need an ice pack on it.”

Gabriel’s hands wrap around her pale foot to get a closer look, “Are you sure? What if it’s broken or something.”

“I don’t think it’s broken, I might’ve just sprained it. Just have someone bring me an ice pack.”

Quickly, Gabriel takes his cell phone out and requests for an ice pack to be delivered to their location. It doesn’t take long for someone to bring them what they need. And for the first time since Gabriel confessed his supposed love for Nathalie, she is able to recognize this certain thoughtfulness and warmth in his behavior. After all, she isn’t aware that his feelings are a mere hoax, but she’s always felt it so strange the manner he conducts himself around her. Almost as if he were afraid to cross an invisible line he himself has drawn. But now, that line has been erased. He gently tends to her hurting ankle, slipping her heel off her sore and throbbing foot.

The coldness of the ice pack makes her gasp, but the warmth of his palm is there to make her relax.

“Thank you.” She whispers softly, her cheeks red to his delicate actions.

Gabriel only glances up to give her the most heartwarming smile, and she melts in that moment.

———

When he stations his vehicle outside her apartment, Gabriel is quick to open the passenger door for her.

“Here let me help you out.” He says, extending his arms so she can exit the car.

“Can you walk or should I carry you?” He asks.

“You can’t carry me all the way to my apartment. Are you crazy?”

Gabriel looks at her with a bit of shock and amusement as the words leave her mouth.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to say that.” Nathalie looks down in utter embarrassment, it seems that all she’s good at is at embarrassing herself today.

Gabriel giggles, “You don’t have to apologize, I quite liked what you said…”

Nathalie raises her eyebrows, “You did?”

“Yes, I like to see you in this new way.” He isn’t lying this time. Gabriel has really liked to discover all these new things about her even if they are things he doesn’t have a right to.

She smiles and for the first time since they began their relationship, she’s the first to lean in and press a kiss to his lips. “Thank you for helping me out today.”

His face goes red to her closeness and he can’t help but feel a tingling at the pit of his stomach.

“You don’t have to thank me, it’s the least I can do for you…”

Gabriel then lifts her out of the car and begins to walk them towards the entrance of the apartment building.

“Oh my god, you are crazy…”

Gabriel does nothing but giggle at the sound of protests.

———

They’ve been seated on the sofa of her apartment for what seems like forever. He’s just been staring into space and she, she’s been staring at him.

All the playfulness is gone, and now all she can feel is that heaviness that always seems to take over him when he’s near her long enough. It’s strange because at the office she felt that he really cared for her but now he just seems so lost and hopeless. He almost resembles a stray animal who lost all confidence. And this is what confuses her, his uncertainty and timidness. Why is it that he is always so hesitant when he’s near her like he’s afraid to touch her or even look at her.

“Are you okay?” She asks, his silence is drowning her.

Gabriel turns to look at her, a sad expression dominates his face.

“Yes, I’m okay. Why do you ask?”

Nathalie scoots closer to him, “You look sad, and so lost in thought.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to bother you, if you want I’ll leave.” He moves away from her, again showing his reluctance to be near her.

“No, I don’t want you to leave. I was just asking what’s wrong…” she takes a deep breath, “Is it Emilie you’re thinking about…”

Her heart shakes to her own question because his answer could be something that could hurt her. Gabriel has every right to love and miss his wife but he has no obligation to have a relationship with her if he’s still thinking of Emilie.

To Gabriel, Nathalie’s question is like a slap across the face. Emilie indeed dominates his thoughts in a way that Nathalie will never understand but it’s more the fact that he’s in a fake relationship with her that truly haunts him. He feels trapped in a world of uncertainty and endless torture where he has apparently allowed himself to do the unthinkable. As if becoming Hawkmoth hadn't been low enough, he has now fallen into a web of endless lies. Tangling a woman who doesn't deserve such a thing.

“What? Why would you ask me that?” He whispers with a shaky voice.

“I don’t know you seem…” she takes a deep breath again this time searching for the correct response, “I don’t know what a relationship with you is but I guess I didn’t imagine this.”

Gabriel narrows his eyes, “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I never imagined you sitting here at my apartment so lost in thought and looking so brokenhearted and hopeless.”

“That’s how I look?” He questions.

Nathalie nods, tears wetting her face this time. “I get if you thought that starting a new relationship would help you move on, but it’s okay if you still love her, you don’t have to force yourself to do something you don’t want.”

Oh, her words have just struck him. Gabriel is indeed forcing him to do something that he isn’t supposed to. He’s playing with a woman that has done nothing but help him, he’s truly the worst person alive.

“I’m not forcing myself to do something I don’t want.” He lies. “I want to be here with you.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I’m here now aren’t I?”

Again, Gabriel is the most confusing man she’s ever met. His actions portray the exact opposite of his words.

“Yes, you are but you don’t seem to like me…” she sounds so childish but she doesn’t care because if they’re not meant for each other then it’s best they end this now.

“What?”

“I said that you’re here but you clearly have no interest in me because you just ignore me.”

“I’m sorry I didn't realize I was doing that.”

Nathalie rolls her eyes this time, he really is making her upset. “Maybe I sound so annoying and demanding and I promise that that’s the last thing I want to look like but I just can’t shake away the thought that you find me utterly boring.”

Gabriel looks at her in shock. Is he really making her feel like this? He can’t blame her after all she’s right, he really is so lost that he is not acknowledging her at all.

“I don’t find you boring nor do I dislike you. I’m sorry if…” he wants to continue but Natalie’s words suddenly cut straight through his.

“You just moved away from me when I tried getting close to you…”

Nathalie is right, he’s doing a disaster and she has every right to feel like he’s ignoring her because he is. So instead of saying anything else, Gabriel moves closer to her again.

His hands slowly travel to her hair and carefully take down her bun. Her long hair falls past her shoulders and the scent of it quickly invades his nostrils.

“The first time I came here, I was so shocked to see you with your hair down…” he says as he runs his warm hands through her hair.

“Your hair is so pretty and you look absolutely beautiful with it down…”

“Gabriel…” she whispers, her heart starting to pound extremely loud inside her chest.

“I love the smell of it…” he whispers, this time leaning in and burying his nose into it.

“I’m so sorry, I’m such a pathetic fool…” she whispers over his shoulder, as she feels his hot breath hit the side of her neck as he continues the exploration of her hair.

“You’re not… I’m the idiot who doesn’t deserve to be near such a fantastic woman like you. I’m sorry if I made you feel like you aren’t enough.”

Gabriel really is sorry and he really doesn’t deserve to be near her, not for one second of his life. This time he moves away from her and levels his face to hers, and lets their eyes meet. “You truly are beautiful, Nathalie. My mouth won’t ever lie about that. You have such an enchanting beauty.” Something inside his stomach begins to burn as he looks into her blue eyes, and the words leave his mouth, never before had his mind thought about her the way it's thinking of her now. His insides ignite as he feels the closeness of her body and all that she is.

Nathalie’s mouth opens as if trying to respond to his enchanting words but she can't, all words seem to be trapped behind her burning heart.

The sight of her half open mouth makes him lean in to claim her lips in a kiss that has them feeling like a flame is about to burst. Their lips crash against each other as Gabriel kisses her in a way that he’d never had before.

“I think I want to be with you…” he whispers roughly against her mouth, his teeth slightly scraping her lower lip. “Do you want that?” He asks.

“I think I do…” she responds, nearly breathless.

This time Gabriel lets his mouth run down her neck, making sure that everything that he’s done is erased by the kisses he presses against her skin.

———

They fall on top of her soft mattress and for the first time since they began this relationship, Nathalie actually feels like she has his full attention.

She can feel it in the way his hands move around her body, in the way his kisses run across her skin, and in the way his mouth calls her name.

Yes, tonight Gabriel Agreste has given her his entire attention and more…

Chapter Text

He feels Nathalie gently place her head on his chest as she wraps her arm across his stomach.

His heart races inside his chest in a way that he had forgotten it could. His body feels almost numb of exhaustion and guilt as he lets himself settle into her soft embrace. It’s odd what he’s feeling because his body feels better than what it did before he got here but his mind feels terribly guilty for what has just occurred.

“Are you sleepy?” He hears her tired voice speak.

“No.” He mumbles. In other circumstances he would’ve let himself relish on the warmth of his surroundings, but right now he can’t focus on anything else that isn’t the uncomfortable feeling of regret inside his head.

“You’re not?” She asks, sounding a bit shocked. Nathalie has just spent some of the most lovely moments of her life that all she wants to do is rest, but the rigid form of her partner has begun to make her feel a bit uneasy. The sleepiness begins to drift away from her as she attempts to look into Gabriel’s eyes. His face is turned away from her as he stares into the dimness of her bedroom, preventing her from meeting his gaze.

“What’s wrong?” She asks. Her earlier fears have started creeping in again.

“Nothing…” he responds, his voice dull and raspy.

Nathalie pulls herself off him, sitting upright next to him instead.

“Are you okay, Gabriel?” This time she can see him clearly. His eyes are lost in front of him, staring into the nothingness as a startling tear struggles to fall from his left eye. He’s still lying on his back and his face is turned sideways on the pillow, as he looks so hopeless.

“What’s wrong?” She asks again, putting her fingers under his chin and making their eyes meet.

Gabriel looks into her blue eyes, and the thought enters his brain. How angelic she appears sitting on the mattress with the bed sheets covering her body but exposing her shoulders. Her hair looks like a sweet mess even as the worried expression on her face shows that he’ll keep messing things up and making her feel bad.

“Nothing is wrong, Nathalie… I’m sorry I’m like this…” he whispers.

Gabriel sits upright, mimicking her position as he takes a deep breath. He’s sure the look on his face is what’s baffling her. She must be so confused because just moments ago, he was kissing her and whispering all the loveliness he felt, but now all of that is over and all he can do is look like the most guilty of culprits.

How he wishes he could tell her the truth, but as he turns to see her sitting on the bed with nothing but a bedsheet to cover her, Gabriel knows he cannot do that. He’s messed up and gone this far, now he has no choice but to continue it all.

He leans in to press a gentle kiss against her lips, and then he begins to move off the bed and silently begins to get dressed.

“Why did you apologize?” She suddenly asks.

Gabriel turns to look at her, confused by her sudden words. “Excuse me?”

“You apologized, Gabriel for being the way you are. You don’t have to apologize for being yourself. You just seemed a bit upset and I wanted to know what was wrong.”

Of course he has to apologize because everything he’s done with her has been a hoax. He hasn’t been himself for one second since he began this madness. He’s been cruel without her even knowing and she doesn’t deserve it. His heart is so conflicted and guilty.

“I said I was sorry for always having this somber expression when we’re together.”

His words take her by surprise, Gabriel is right, he always has a somber expression when they’re together. It makes her feel as if she isn’t wanted even as he just claimed her with such passion only moments before.

Nathalie moves from the bed too, attempting to reach for her night robe. “My ankle still hurts a bit, will you give it to me please.”

Gabriel quickly grabs the robe and hands it to her. Nathalie swiftly puts it on and takes a seat at the edge of the bed.

“I think we need to end this…” she finally says with deep sadness.

This time it’s him who’s absolutely shocked by her words. Is she breaking up with him?

“Nathalie… are you…”

“Yes, Gabriel, I want to end this…” she makes a gesture with her hand, pointing at him and at her.
“You’re clearly too conflicted or too confused. I don’t know, I just know you’re obviously not ready to be in a relationship, so it’s best this ends now.” Everything inside her aches but it’s best this ends before her heart begins to feel more than it already does.

Gabriel is such an idiot. Of course, she’s going to want to end this when he’s been the worst partner ever. Nathalie wasn’t going to endure it for much longer.

“Nathalie… I… I’m so sorry, please forgive me…” Gabriel kneels in front of her as he begins to shed some of the bitterest tears of his life. Why is it that all he knows what to do is cry and lie to her?

“It’s okay.” She whispers with a broken voice.

“I know sometimes it can be hard to forget someone… just know that I’m not angry with you.”

“Of course you’re not…” Gabriel looks up, leaning in and trying to press a kiss to her lips.

But Nathalie moves away, “Please leave, Gabriel…”

He gets off the floor and finally exits her bedroom and then her apartment.

———

It’s past midnight when Gabriel arrives home.

His brain is still in shock with how far he let things go tonight. How has he been such a coward in such little time? Being Hawkmoth has not been his lowest action in life but what he’s done tonight with Nathalie is. Because when he was Hawkmoth, Gabriel had the excuse to say that it was all for his immense love for Emilie. But now, he has no excuse…

The way he’s played with her has no excuse. He’s sure that his low actions to her deserve more prison time than all his crimes as Hawkmoth did. He’s sure that if Adrien ever discovered his cowardly nature, he would without doubt send him to prison.

Gabriel feels terrible but as he lets himself sink into his bed, he can’t help but recall the feeling of her body so close to his. With memories of her sweet nature and the guilt of his actions, Gabriel lets his eyes flutter shut. Drifting away, but still not being able to run away from his sins.

———

HR had called him to inform him that Nathalie wouldn’t be going to work for one whole week. They said that she requested time off to recover from the injury to her ankle but Gabriel knew that that wasn’t the case at all. He knew Nathalie was actively avoiding him, and if she had to use her ankle injury to do so then she would.

Gabriel can’t say he blames her, after all he's a monster, who would want to be near a man so terrible like him?

———

His phone rings,

“Hello, Mr. Agreste, this is HR. We’re sorry to inform that Ms. Sancouer will not be in today either.”

“What!” He exclaims. “You said it would be a week, what is going on?”

“Yes, I understand Mr. Agreste and I do apologize but Ms. Sancouer said that she’s now developed a cold. Legally speaking, we cannot prevent her from taking sick leave when she hasn’t used it all year and her ankle injury is a responsibility of the company and not part of her leave.”

Gabriel hangs the phone up, he doesn’t want to hear this nonsense anymore. He knows well that Nathalie is avoiding him and he must do something before he loses her forever.

———

That’s how Gabriel Agreste finds himself in front of her apartment door as his nerves rise with every passing second.

He delivers a firm knock to her door.

It takes a few minutes but Nathalie finally answers the door, he is left absolutely stunned with the view.

She looks tired and drowsy as he takes in her paleness. The dark circles around her eyes and the messiness of her hair is an image he did not expect.

“Gabriel…” she mumbles in surprise.

“Hello Nathalie. May I come in?”

She doesn’t respond, only moving out the way to let him in.

“Did HR inform you that I wouldn’t be coming to work today?” She asks, walking towards the living room.

“Yes, they did.”

Nathalie looks at him with a questioning glare, “Okay, then what are you doing here?”

Her words take him a little by surprise, is she angry at him? She said she wouldn’t be, but now he isn’t sure.

“I just wanted to make sure you are okay. If you need anything?”

“I don’t need anything. I just need to rest.” She closes her eyes for a moment as if trying to seek the appropriate words to dismiss him, “I’m sorry I didn’t go in today but I promise I’ll be there tomorrow, sir.”

“You don’t have to apologize, you have every right to get a day off if you’re sick.”

Gabriel walks towards her and immediately her body goes rigid to his presence. “Because you are sick. Right Nathalie?”

“Of course I am…” she stutters. “I wouldn’t skip work just because I don’t feel like going…”

“I know you wouldn’t. But I know you would to avoid me.”

“What?”

“You’re pretending to be sick aren’t you?” This time he gets close enough to her to be able to see the shiny look in her blue eyes. Her eyes look so sad almost as she’s been crying non stop since the last time he saw her. “You’re pretending so you won’t have to face me, you don’t want me near you. Are you afraid of me, Nathalie?”

His question is something she didn’t expect but she can’t help the tears that abandon her eyes.

“Why would you ask me that, Gabriel? Of course I’m not afraid of you…”

She tries to continue but his words suddenly break through hers, “I am Nathalie. I’m afraid of myself and of the pathetic fool I’ve been. I terrorized an entire city and failed at my mission and now I’ve undoubtedly broken your heart.”

“Gabriel…” she whispers because it’s true, Gabriel Agreste has left her heartbroken.

“Please forgive me… if I could at least mend one of my mistakes I would choose to fix your broken heart.” Gabriel grabs her hands, bringing them up to his chest, “Please give me one more chance, Nathalie.”

As the words leave his mouth Gabriel realizes that he is not fixing this problem because he’s in fact making it worse. But his mind can’t stop thinking about how bad he feels for leaving her so abruptly. He can fix this, he thinks, he can give her some of the best times of her life then end the relationship after a reasonable amount of time.

“Will you let me mend your heart?” His fingers reach for her hair, placing it gently behind her ear.

“I’m not sure you know how to mend what you broke,” her voice whispers softly.

“Let me try.”

Almost forcefully, she nods.

A voice telling her she shouldn’t believe him since she’s seen him make empty promises. To his son, to her, to himself. Promises that fall into a bottomless pit that seems to have no end.

Gabriel’s trapped in a web of lies and she’s trapped by her own tedious emotions.

Emotions that blossom with love for a man that confuses her everyday. “I’ll let you,” she whispers nearly against her own will. Because on this day Nathalie has realized that she’s utterly helpless against Gabriel Agreste. He leans towards her, lifting her off the floor and carrying towards her bedroom where only a few weeks ago he had her in between his arms for the very first time.

He places her gently on the bed. “I like being with you very much, Nathalie,” he mumbles over her lips. And it’s the truth, Gabriel hasn’t stopped thinking about how amazing it felt to have her in his arms.

“I like being with you too.” She whispers in return.

They kiss and they embrace each other in a newly found passion that only each other’s warmth can soothe.

———

Being with her hasn’t been hard. It’s when he’s not with her that it’s difficult. When he’s alone is when the problems arise because that’s when the guilt starts to scream at him.

When he’s with her, Gabriel can almost forget that everything that he’s doing is a hoax. When he’s with her, his mind doesn’t think about how this relationship started. Because all Gabriel thinks about is how much he enjoys Nathalie’s company even if he knows that’s a betrayal to Emilie.

Gabriel stares at the portrait of Emilie. His eyes are lost in her beauty and oh, how he misses her. He remembers her day and night, as he thinks that not enough time can pass for him to ever forget her. Emilie was the love of his life and now she’s become the loss of his life. It aches so much just to know that he’s betrayed her memory by doing what he’s done with Nathalie.

He’s a traitor and there’s no doubt in that. He’s done things with another woman for the sake of his freedom and he’s gone to the lowest point of his life because of his lies.

Gabriel hates himself so much, he’s betrayed the love of his life, and he’s lied to Nathalie.

But that’s it, he must end this madness. Enough time has passed and he must break up with Nathalie. He can’t continue this lie much longer or he surely will lose his mind.

Gabriel waits on the sofa located in the atelier. He’s waiting for her to arrive. She said she’d come in a little later than usual because she had a doctor's appointment. He’s thankful for that because her delay has helped him prepare himself to end this relationship. He doesn’t know what will help after he tells her that this is over, what he does know is that this needs to end!

———

When he sees her entering the atelier, he immediately notices her weighed down expression. It confuses him for a moment, he hasn’t yet told her that their relationship is over, so why is she looking so troubled?

“Everything okay?” He asks as if he isn’t about to break up with her.

She looks up, the sound of his voice barely registering in her brain. She shakes her head, barely having the energy to do so. A blank expression is what she has on her face, and immediately Gabriel is taken aback.

“What’s wrong, Nathalie? Why do you have that look on your face?”

She takes a seat next to him, “because I’m an idiot…” she whispers.

Her words shock him, he almost thinks that she might know. Is it possible that somehow she discovered that he’s been lying to her?

“What do you mean?” His heart beating loudly inside his chest.

“You know I had a doctor’s appointment.”

He nods, yes, he knows, and the entire time she was there he used it to practice the words he was going to say to end their relationship.

“Well…” she takes a deep breath as if seeking the appropriate words to deliver the troubles of her heart.

“Gabriel…” she says, this time making sure their eyes are connected and he has her full attention. “Before I say anything, I want you to know that I love you and that I’ve never meant to trap you in any way, shape, or form.”

Nathalie’s words feel like salt is being poured on top of the wounds of his heart. She’s telling him that she loves him, while he’s waiting for her to finish speaking so he can break up with her.

“You love me?” He murmurs, knowing well that she does love him but it hits harder when her lips say it.

Nathalie nods her head, “I do and I’m sorry for saying that so abruptly but it’s the truth.” Never before has she said this to anyone. But the truth is that she loves Gabriel Agreste more than anyone in this world and she’s sure that this love will follow her for the rest of her life. Her hands unconsciously travel to her lower abdomen as the thought enters her head.

“Nathalie, why are you saying all of this? What’s happening?” Gabriel’s nerves are on edge, he isn’t understanding anything of what’s going on.

“Gabriel,” she says, taking a hold of his hands, “I’m pregnant.”

A bucket of iced cold water is what feels like has been poured on him. He must be losing his mind now, all his lies have now for sure made him go insane because what he’s just heard must be a product of his imagination.

But when he feels Nathalie’s hands tighten around him and sees the tears leave her eyes, Gabriel knows this isn’t his mind playing tricks on him. What he’s just heard is nothing but the consequence of his lies.

“What?” He finally says in shock.

She looks away, and lets go of his hands. “The doctor said I’m at least 7 weeks.”

“But…” he closes his eyes as embarrassment begins to crawl up his chest, “we’ve been careful.”

That’s all he can say because that’s all that comes to mind. Every time they’ve been in each other's arms, one of them has always made sure that there was something that would keep their minds at ease from the possibility of conceiving.

“I don’t know,” she says, “I guess those things aren’t 100% effective or reliable.”

What are they going to do now? All Gabriel was waiting for was for time to pass so he could end their relationship, but what’s actually happened now is that he’s gotten Nathalie pregnant.

The realization makes his head spin. He’s hit with the fact that he’ll have a baby with a woman he doesn’t love and who he’s based a relationship with on a lie.

He’s a coward and a disgusting human being, he doesn’t doubt it now.

“What will we do?” He asks because he has no idea what else to say. He can’t break up with her, not now and not soon.

“I don’t know…” she says, looking at him again. In her mind there’s anger at herself for being so foolish, but in her heart there’s love. Love grows in her chest to the fact that her love for Gabriel is now coming to life. Yet, there’s still guilt sitting in her, realizing that he doesn’t love her as he loved Emilie.

She gets up from the sofa, “We have a lot of thinking to do. I’ll go work in the other room, so you can have a moment to think on your own.”

Then she’s gone, and Gabriel is left all alone as he deserves.

———

In between each elapse of time, Gabriel has come to realize there is no way he can escape from what he’s done. As the months go by, the swell of her belly increases, and he finds love in his heart for the little life inside her but not enough for her.

Perhaps his own sins are more profound than he thought. They’re things that destroy him and consume but he deals with it in silence. He understands that yes, he loves her but he isn’t in love with her. Different types of love exist in the world, and the one he feels for Nathalie isn’t the same one he feels for Emilie.

Why? He questions himself.

Nathalie is a lovely woman in all aspects, but he’s with her not by choice and that he is sure of. He took it way too far from the very beginning , and now his web of lies has sprung out of control.

She’s unaware of it all.

Not too many words are spoken.

The silence between them is usually thick, warm, intimate, and always uninterrupted as they soak it all in. But neither of them can say much even if they want to. It’s as if there’s this invisible wall between them that won’t allow them to go further than this rather strange routine that they’ve adapted.

Gabriel accompanies her to her appointments.

He makes sure she’s not too overwhelmed with office work, but he hasn’t been brave enough to take it a step further nor to tell his son a baby is on the way.

Until one evening arrives.

They finished work earlier than usual. Nathalie lies on the examination bed as the doctor performs the ultrasound. “It’s a girl.”

Oh, he’s so proud.

She’s proud too.

It’s a baby girl.

“Gabriel,” her teary eyes glance up at him.

He leans in to kiss her forehead. “Thank you, my Nathalie.”

Rides back home are usually silent as they soak up the images of their unborn baby. Gabriel speaks this time. “Should we tell Adrien?”

Nathalie swiftly turns to look at him, surprise evident on her face. She thought the day would never come, but she pretends to not care too much. “If that's what you want.”

———

Adrien is extremely happy the day that Placide brings Nathalie’s belongings into their home.

The void of no longer having a mother figure is slowly being filled by Nathalie’s presence and the swell of her belly.

He loves her, even as he still can’t believe that she was in a relationship with his father for such a long time without him knowing.

“Are you happy, Adrien?” Gabriel asks, as they watch Placide bring in her belongings.

Adrien nods, and Adrien’s acceptance is what sometimes makes Gabriel think that perhaps none of this is a mistake. Maybe this is the key to keep his son’s trust and possibly create a relationship with him and build a family.

“Thank you for accepting her.” He says as if he’s not the one that’s having trouble accepting all of this.

Adrien turns to look at his father, “I will always accept Nathalie, you’ll never have to worry about that.” His voice is cold even as many months have passed since his unmasking. Adrien is still distant, he’s still full of resentment.

Will his son ever forget what he was? That question is what haunts him day and night.

“Will you ever forgive me?” Gabriel suddenly asks.

Adrien closes his eyes for a moment, “I don’t know… just know that I don’t hate you.”

“Thank you.” Gabriel whispers. Because that’s all the comfort he has, to know that his only son doesn’t hate him is enough… for now.

———

When Nathalie goes into labor, it is completely unexpected.

She’s barely 35 weeks pregnant, but the water surrounding their bedsheets is undeniable.

“Gabriel…” she says, shaking him awake, “I think my water broke.”

“What?!” He exclaims, leaving his slumber.

“My water broke…” she repeats, moving the bed sheets, and revealing the dampness around them. Gabriel’s heart freezes in that moment, it’s time, he will be a father for a second time.

“We have to get to the hospital right now.”

He helps her out of bed, and helps her change into dry clothing. Then they rush out the door, and pray for their baby girl.

———

They arrive at the hospital, and Nathalie’s examined right away.

“The baby is breech.” The doctor says.

“What?” Nathalie exclaims, terror begins to rise up her body.

“You’ll have to have a C-section, the baby is positioned bottom first which means that her feet are first in the uterus instead of the head.”

Tears escape her eyes as she stares at Gabriel in horror.

“Will my baby be okay?” She asks.

“Yes, so long as you have a C-section, we’ll avoid any more complications.”

Gabriel reaches for her hand, “Everything will be okay, you and our little one will be okay.” He presses a kiss to her forehead and then Nathalie’s wheeled into the operating room.

———

Gabriel waits for what seems like forever.

When he feels like he’s about to lose his mind a nurse suddenly appears, a tiny baby in her arms.

“She’s here.” The nurse says, extending her arms so he can see. “Do you want to hold her?” The woman asks.

He hesitates, “Not yet,” he says, staring at the infant who cries with all her might.

“Very well,” the woman says, “Mom is doing good and she’s recovering, and the baby is so strong and healthy that she won’t need to stay in the NICU.”

The nurse walks away, but takes his heart in her hands because he’s sure that that baby is the most precious little girl he’s ever seen. He almost regrets not having held her. But he was too nervous, too afraid to hurt her.

———

“Where’s my baby?” Nathalie asks, still disoriented from the operation. She remembers hearing her cry and then the nurse showed her the baby for a second before she took her away. “Gabriel?” Her weak voice calls out.

“Don’t move,” he holds her hand, and then she realizes what’s next to him. It’s a small crib with a little bundle inside.

“Please,” she nearly begs him. “Please give her to me.”

Gabriel picks her up, pressing a kiss to the baby’s forehead before handing her to Nathalie.

Carefully, he places their baby on Nathalie’s exposed chest. Skin to skin.

“She’s perfect, Nathalie.” He’s so proud, he’s filled with an indescribable love. “Thank you.”

Nathalie smiles. “What are we going to call her?”

“Belle,” He whispers, “because she’s beautiful.”

Nathalie nods, “I love you so much my sweet, Belle.”

Gabriel watches them in utter adoration. He almost can’t believe this is his life. He has a daughter and he has Nathalie.

He has a baby who he adores with all his heart and he has a woman that has given him one of the greatest gifts of his life.

Oh, if only he could love that woman as much as she deserves.

Chapter Text

5 years later…

Five flickering candles illuminate Belle’s joyful face as her parents stand side-by-side the whirlwind little child. Her sparkling dress glows even more upon the beaming light the candles produce.

“Happy birthday, dear Belle,” the small crowd shouts. Her kindergarten friends and her parents cheer her on. “Get ready to blow out the candles, baby.” Nathalie whispers in her child’s ear.

Belle leans over the cake, her blue eyes sparkle with excitement as her father holds back her hair.

“Blow, sweetheart,” he says and with all her willingness, Belle blows all the candles out in one go. “Good job, love.” Gabriel says.

Nathalie watches it with a warm heart, but something is off about him. His sweet words and gentle gestures aren’t enough to hide his frustration.

There’s a deep tension. Gabriel is clearly upset.
He pretends to be fine for the sake of his daughter’s birthday, but he’s been upset all day long.

Nathalie watches him from a distance as pieces of chocolate cake are handed out. The subtle clenching of his jaw, the barely controlled tremble of his usually steady hands. He smiles at his daughter, almost as if he were putting on a mask in order to cover up his rising anger. Because Belle is the only one who can soothe him, the only person he relaxes for.

“How’s that cake, baby?” He asks her.

“It’s yummy, papa!” The little girl grins, her lips and teeth covered in chocolate frosting.

“Don’t get your dress dirty.” He glances down at the light pink sparkling dress.

Nathalie sighs heavily, he’s trying for the sake of their daughter. She looks around the dining room,
Adrien still isn’t here.

And that’s the reason for his anger. The absence of his son triggers something within Gabriel. It’s something Nathalie cannot quite comprehend.

———

Slowly, she goes to take a seat beside him. “Will you have some cake?” She offers him a slice, but Gabriel won’t even look at it.

Instead, he says, “I can’t believe Adrien didn’t show up.” His voice low and dangerously quiet not wanting to alert Belle of the situation.

“Gabriel, you need to relax. Here, have some cake,” she tries to offer again.

He huffs in annoyance. “I have no appetite.”

His son's distance infuriates him. It makes him imagine the worst scenarios.
Could Adrien one day want to reveal the truth of what really happened? Because even through the years, Gabriel’s noticed Adrien's low efforts to create a relationship with him. His son has kept his distance even through the ‘happy’ times they've experienced.

Their lives have been a series of tragic events.

More for Adrien than for him.

Yet, Gabriel knows he’s done too much to just be exposed so easily. But then he stares at Belle, and he thinks that perhaps it was all worth it.

To the little girl he loves more than anything.

Despite his own persistence of wanting to maintain the image of the perfect family, Gabriel knows it’s all a mockery in Adrien’s eyes. Maybe it’s even a mockery in Nathalie’s eyes since he’s never married her.

Except, Nathalie is as loving and as beautiful as always. She approaches him, and never with words when she knows he’s upset but with her comforting touch.

A hand that reaches out to tenderly caress his own trembling hand. A silent promise only she knows exists. One that she’s created, the promise to support him even through the things she doesn’t understand.

Why can’t he accept that Adrien wants his own life outside of this house?

Gabriel says it’s not that but rather Adrien’s choice in friends and relationship. Yet, she isn’t too convinced. “How’s the cake?” It’s Nathalie who now asks Belle.

“Yummy, yummy,” the girl responds. “Will you try some mama?” Nathalie forcefully takes a bite, the taste turning ash in her mouth upon watching Gabriel leave.

“I’ll be in the atelier, tell me when Adrien gets here.”

———

It’s past midnight when Adrien finally comes home.

Gabriel exits the atelier where he had dozed off, waiting for his son to appear. At the same time, Nathalie walks down the stairs, hearing Adrien had returned. But as soon as she sees Gabriel angrily standing by the atelier, she decides to not properly enter the foyer but rather stay hidden behind the staircase.

“Do you think this is a hotel where you can come anytime you feel like it?” Gabriel’s voice is low but full of anger.

Adrien turns to look at him, a gift bag in his hand and a tired look on his face.

Gabriel approaches his son, “Belle was waiting for you all afternoon, she’d thought her only brother would be kind enough to spend her birthday with her.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come back in time, I’ll make sure to give Belle my sincerest apologies.” He brings his hand up, showing his father the gift bag, “I have a gift for her.”

Gabriel huffs, “You think that whatever you have in that bag will make up the fact that you completely ignored us today. That you clearly didn’t care about her to show up to her birthday party.”

“Don’t say that because that isn’t true.” Adrien responds with a tired voice, “I care about Belle very much. I love her, she’s my sister.”

“If you love her so much then why couldn’t you make it to her birthday party?” Gabriel walks closer to him, “Oh, I forgot your little girlfriend is much more important than your family. She deserves much more of your attention than we do…”

“Father,” Adrien says protectively, “I’ve asked you a million times not to talk about Marinette the way you do. She’s done nothing to you and she deserves your respect.”

Gabriel rolls his eyes, he’s never liked that girl. He’s always seen Adrien to be way out of her league. Nevermind, the fact that he’s always believed she was Ladybug. It’s only logical, Cat Noir was in love with Ladybug, Adrien was Cat Noir and they started dating almost immediately after his unmasking. Also, the odd look that always dominates Marinette’s eyes when she’s in Gabriel’s presence, it’s almost as if she knew something of him that makes him uncomfortable to the point of despising her incredibly much.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng is Ladybug and Gabriel Agreste has no doubt in that. He’s never dared to ask Adrien but that he’s convinced, he’s convinced.

“I don’t like her.” Gabriel mumbles.

“I don’t see why. I didn’t reject Nathalie when you told me you were in a relationship with her, so why do you reject Marinette?”

Gabriel’s chest tightens to Adrien’s words, he still recalls when he lied about his relationship with Nathalie.

“I don’t understand your comparison. Nathalie has a category and has been part of high society for a long time. Unlike Marinette…”

“Marinette, what?” Adrien says, interrupting his father, “I’m tired of you always insulting her.”

“Marinette isn’t the girl for you, Adrien. There are better women who you can…”

“I don’t want anybody else. I love Marinette and I’m going to marry her.”

Gabriel’s heart drops, Adrien can’t be serious, “Surely you’re joking, right? You can’t marry her…”

“I’m not joking, father. I’m going to marry Marinette. I’m going to buy her a ring tomorrow…”

“You’ve lost your mind…” Gabriel whispers, “you’re only 20 years old, you’re too young to marry.”

Adrien stares at his father, his eyebrows high in a questioning glare, “Then when is the appropriate age to marry?” He asks.

“What?”

“I asked when is the appropriate time to marry? Because you are way past your forties yet haven’t married the mother of your daughter. And according to you she is much better than Marinette because she has class.”
Nathalie’s stomach twists in an uncomfortable way upon hearing Adrien’s words. His words make it clear that even he’s noticed Gabriel’s reluctance in marrying her after years of relationship.

“We’re not talking about me, we are talking about you and the fact that you are way too young to marry anyone.”

“Well, I’m an adult and I can do as I please and I will marry Marinette, whether you like it or not.”

Adrien tries to walk away, but his father’s words stop him dead in his tracks.

“You’re ruining this family, Adrien. Your behavior has damaged us for years after I let you do what you wanted.”

Adrien’s eyes widened to his father’s words, he can’t believe he’s just told him this. “How dare you tell me this?!” Adrien says in complete disbelief, “How dare you say that I’m ruining this family when it was you who was Hawkmoth? You destroyed my life with your lies and with your terrible actions!”

This time Nathalie almost loses her balance, Adrien knows that Gabriel was Hawkmoth. She almost can’t believe it, when did he find out and why hasn’t Gabriel ever told her. Confusion immediately takes over, making her know that Gabriel has been hiding many things for a long time.

On the other hand, Gabriel is horrified by Adrien’s accusation. Years of not mentioning that he was Hawkmoth. But Adrien finally did it again, he told him that he was Hawkmoth as he shouted it with such resentment.

Adrien notices the horrified look in his father’s eyes, but he couldn’t care less about that. He doesn’t care if he promised him that he’d never mention it again, his father’s dislike for Marinette has now gotten the worse out of him.

However, Adrien won’t ever stop defending Marinette’s honor and their love. Fueled by frustration, he spits out what he’s been holding in since he returned. “I won’t let Marinette go. I don’t care if you find my words offending-“

“Be quiet.” Gabriel harshly commands, thinking Nathalie is still upstairs. “You’re being too loud…”

Adrien rolls his eyes, “If you want to continue hiding underneath this mask of perfection, that’s on you but I’ve already told you that I will marry Marinette.”

“Why?” Gabriel demands answers. “A 20 year old is far too young to know what he wants.”

“Marinette needs me…” Adrien sighs heavily. ”She’s pregnant.” He finally reveals the truth behind his decision tonight.

Gabriel silently gasps feeling as if a bucket of iced water has poured over his tensed body.

Nearly feeling nauseous. “What did you say?”

“Marinette and I are having a baby.” He can't say more. “Good night, father.”

Gabriel stays behind, utterly frozen to the news. And Nathalie races upstairs, absolutely shocked with everything she’s discovered tonight.

———

Nathalie stands by the balcony window in their bedroom, feeling her limbs still shaking by the revelations she discovered tonight.

Her first thought is why, why hasn’t Gabriel ever told her that Adrien knows he was Hawkmoth. Every other secret he’s had, he’s shared with her, but why has he decided to keep this one from her?

She’d always thought she was the person who knew Gabriel Agreste the most, but now she isn’t sure anymore because surely she’d believe he would share something so important to her.

———

Her body tenses as she hears the doorknob turning. She won’t pretend that she didn’t hear what happened, so she turns to look at the door, ready to confront him.

Gabriel is taken aback by Nathalie’s presence, he’d thought she was sleeping. “Nathalie…” he mumbles, “you’re awake…”

Nathalie nods, waiting for him to close the door, “Yes, I was also waiting for Adrien to return.”

He stays silent for a while that she almost thinks he won’t say anything about what happened tonight.

But suddenly his voice sounds, “Adrien…” he pauses, seemingly seeking for the words to reveal what his son said.

“I know,” she says, interrupting him, “I heard what Adrien said to you.”

“You heard?” He asks, absolutely shocked. Why didn’t he notice Nathalie was there the entire time?

She nods, “Yes, I did…” then she turns away from him, looking back at the large balcony window. The tears suddenly escaping her eyes because the betrayal sitting in her heart is greater than anything she’s ever felt.

“How much did you hear?” Gabriel needs to know because his mind can’t help but recall the accusations Adrien made against him.

“All of it, Gabriel. I heard every single word you and Adrien spoke.” Nathalie isn’t going to deny the truth like he has. She’s tired of the lies and she needs an explanation as to why he’s been keeping such things from her.

“Nathalie…” he murmurs slowly as he realizes what’s happening. Nathalie has discovered that Adrien knows about Hawkmoth, and undoubtedly she now feels betrayed.

“Why?” She questions, turning around to meet his gaze again. “Why didn’t you ever tell me, Gabriel?”

Gabriel’s initial thought is to run away from this room and her fury. Her question feels like the first step of him falling from his tower of lies. From the moment he lied to Adrien, Gabriel began creating a tower of lies where he thought none of them would be discovered. But now as Nathalie stands in front of him with hurt in her eyes and confusion in her mind, he feels like his tower is crumbling.

Nathalie gets closer to him, “Why didn’t you ever tell me that Adrien knew you were Hawkmoth?” This time her voice is a near whisper, as if she were afraid of being recorded by someone.

“I’m sorry...” Are the first words to leave his mouth. Because what else can he say? He’s been discovered on his first lie and now it feels like the door has been opened to the rest of them. “But there wasn’t any point in you knowing,
Adrien knows, and now you know why that’s given him the courage to act the way he does.” Gabriel lets out an unamused laugh. “He’s even gotten that girl pregnant.”

“Since when has Adrien known?” Nathalie needs to know. “How did he find out?”

“Why does it matter?” Gabriel won’t expose himself anymore. “What’s important now is to see how we stop Adrien from making another mistake. He’s too young to marry, marrying isn’t the solution for any of this.”

Nathalie shakes her head in disbelief, Gabriel’s reluctance is clear. He doesn’t want to tell her what really is happening, “Clearly, you don’t want to tell me how Adrien discovered you, and I suppose I can’t force you. But you have no right to try to prevent Adrien from marrying Marinette.”

She then goes to grab her night robe, and starts to walk towards the exit of the room.

“Where are you going, Nathalie?”

“I’m leaving for the other room. I won’t stay here with someone who doesn’t trust me.”

Then she’s out of there and away from him.

———

There was no rest for her last night.

Nathalie turned and tossed in a bed that isn’t hers in an attempt to make sense of Gabriel’s unexplained secrecy.

“Why didn’t he ever tell me?” Her lips whisper for what seems like the millionth time as if Gabriel were standing in front of her.

She recalls Adrien’s words.

Words that flung out in the heat of the argument, but he didn’t attempt to take them back.

Adrien has known for a long time Gabriel was Hawkmoth. A truth that was unveiled in a storm of accusations and resentment between father and son. If she hadn’t been there, Gabriel would’ve continued to conceal such damning truth.

Nathalie stares at her reflection, her hands reach for the hairbrush as she brushes away the light knots from her wet hair. They dissolve quickly, if only it were that easy to dissolve the uncertainty from her chest.

Gabriel is hiding more than just that…

The knock on the door brings her out of her thoughts. Setting the hairbrush down and grabbing the robe to conceal her undergarments, Nathalie prepares to let whoever is behind the door in.

“Come in.” It’s Gabriel, he glances down as her hands tie the knot of her robe.

“I thought you’d come back to bed last night.” His feet move closer to her. “I know you’re angry-“

“I’m not just angry,” Nathalie harshly pauses him. “How could you keep such a thing from me?”

Suddenly, her blue gaze transforms into something indescribable and challenging. “What else are you hiding from me?”

Gabriel swallows dryly. Nervous and afraid that his other secret could be exposed. A secret much cruel and dangerous than the one that has her so offended.

“Nothing else,” he lies like the coward he’s been his whole life. “I’ve been too harsh with my son, and I think I’ve been so with you too.”

“Harsh?” She raises her eyebrow. “You’ve been more than harsh. I’m hurt, I’m offended, and Adrien doesn’t deserve to not have your support during such a tough time in his life.”

Gabriel looks at the disappointment in her face, if only she knew the charade of lies that have landed him in the life he lives now. “Nathalie..” he whispers her name.

“I won’t talk to you if you’ll just find pathetic things. to excuse yourself with. I want to have a conversation with you where you properly explain why you kept it from me.”

“Now?” He asks worriedly.

She shakes her head. “Not now, Gabriel. I need to get Belle up for school.” Her finger points at the door, Gabriel stares at her in confusion. “I’m going to change. Is it too much to ask that you give me some privacy.”

“Of course,” and he’s out. His mind needs to find more lies in order to cover up the reason why he’s never told her the truth.

A tower that only seems to grow and grow.

———

“Have a good day, my love.” Gabriel kisses his small daughter goodbye.

“Bye, papa.” Except the girl doesn’t move.

“What’s the matter, Belle?”

“Why didn’t you have breakfast with mama and me?” Gabriel hesitates. “Are you angry at her?” The girl asks.

There’s no doubt Belle is an intelligent little girl.

“Your papa isn’t angry at me,” Nathalie’s voice interrupts. “Right, Gabriel?”

“Of course not.” He pulls her in for a kiss that Nathalie barely has time to react to given how quick he is.
Belle smiles. Then the childminder and Placide walk out the front door and she quickly follows them as she waves at her parents again.

“Our daughter is too brilliant, nothing slips from her.” Nathalie whispers.

Gabriel smiles. “She gets it from her mother.”

Nathalie doesn’t respond, her anger still evident in her bright blue eyes.

“I need to catch up on some work,” Gabriel states, knowing he’s partially lying. “I suppose you do too.”

“Yes, but…”

He interrupts her. “We’ll talk, but later. I’ll be on the outdoor patio.”

He walks away as if everything were fine.

And when the hours drift away, and lunchtime comes around, Nathalie glances up from her computer.

Emilie’s portrait stares her down.

Something Gabriel has never taken down.

Like the ghost that haunts him.

Perhaps that little thing that makes her doubt if he ever really let her go. She twirls around in her office chair, the window is closed and slightly covered in cold mist. Her hand wipes it away.

There he is. Mindlessly working on his laptop as if he has not a pending conversation with her. She watches him looking so lost and with an obvious somber expression. Clearly, he’s upset from Adrien’s revelation and like any normal parent, he has every right to be disappointed with the fact that his son will become a young parent.

What confuses her is his lie. It frustrates her to see how clearly he’s been avoiding her to refrain from talking about why he’s lied to her.

Nathalie doesn’t know what to do so she waits.

She waits for a bit longer, hoping for him to decide to come back and talk about the situation.

———

The ticking of the clock on the wall starts to become annoying. That’s all she’s been hearing the entire time her brain has been buzzing with yesterday’s situation.

Irritated, Nathalie finally decides to leave the atelier and go outside to confront Gabriel about his obvious lack of truth.

She looks out the window one more time, seeing how he still works on his laptop.

It’s not a long walk to get to the door that leads to the outdoor patio, but when Nathalie gets there Gabriel is no longer at his seat. She faintly hears his voice from afar and she can immediately tell he’s on a call.

She’ll wait for him.

She takes a seat on one of the chairs while she waits for his call to end.

His laptop is on the table and it’s open. Unconsciously, her eyes look at the screen and oddly it displays something she didn’t expect. The screen displays a sheet with words and a bold title. It’s the title that instantly catches her eye. Leaning closer, Nathalie reads it. ‘A Chronicle: G.A.’ Then there’s a date which reflects today’s date, and then a detailed entry begins.

Despite his personality, Nathalie isn’t surprised to find out Gabriel writes down his thoughts and feelings.

Nathalie’s first thought is to look away. Clearly, this is a private space Gabriel’s using to write down his thoughts or feelings. But she can’t help her eyes from scanning the screen with deep concentration.

The entry begins: “It’s all a consequence of my lies, I bound myself to a loveless union. The moment my son unmasked me as Hawkmoth, my destiny was sealed. However, I find the lies I’ve created to be far worse than my terrorizing. Nathalie wants the truth. What can I say without exposing myself? How am I supposed to tell her I’ve only pretended and if it weren’t for my daughter, our lives would’ve been different. I’d be someplace else, I probably would’ve even brought Emilie back… Bound I am, this is my punishment. To a loveless union with a woman who loves me deeply but I’ve never truly felt that I’m in love with…”

She stops, she can’t read further than that.

Her eyes are watering with tears, her heart is beating out of control and her limbs are beginning to shake.

What did she just read? This can’t be real.

His footsteps alert her, Nathalie stands up in an instant. Fear, quickly taking over her. She can’t run away, not now when clearly he’s noticed her staring at his screen.

“Nathalie?” He calls her name but she’s frozen and shocked.

“You’ve lied…” she barely manages to utter, not daring to look at his face.

It all makes sense. “I’m what you used in order to save yourself.”

“Nathalie…” he attempts to speak. He’s realizing now that his tower has finally collapsed.

“Why did you do this to me?” Nathalie asks, feeling the greatest pain take over her heart. “I’ve loved you so much, why?” It’s the broken plea of her soul.

In a vague attempt to explain, Gabriel builds his courage. But what can he say for it’s all been unraveled…

Chapter Text

“Nathalie, please let me explain.” Gabriel’s voice is desperate and full of agony. His greatest fear is coming to life and somehow it’s worse than he could’ve imagined.

“What do you want to explain?” Her voice is shaking as she begins to step away from him, “your journal is clear, anything you might say will surely be a lie again.” Her heart aches in a way she’s never felt before, realizing that nothing in this world could’ve prepared her for a truth so terrible.

“Nathalie,” he says, getting close to her, “this is all a big misunderstanding. What you read there…”

“What I read there is the truth about your feelings towards me. Now, it all makes sense, now I see you just as you are… a liar!”

His chest tightens to her words and the tears that escape her eyes. He’s broken her and now he’s losing her. “Nathalie…” he begs, “what you read is not accurate. That’s not who you are to me.”

“Then what am I to you?” She asks. Her own question makes her tremble because now she isn’t sure what she represents in Gabriel’s life.

“You are the mother of my daughter and my companion. You are the person who knows me the best and the person I’ve experienced so much with. You are my anchor, Nathalie.”

Her heart shrinks to his words. Yes, Nathalie’s been all of that to him, and to her Gabriel Agreste has been the love of her life.

“I’ve been all of that to you but I haven’t been the person you love…”

“No,” he says quickly, “that’s not true…”

“Don’t lie Gabriel. You don’t need to anymore. Your entry was clear, you’ve been trapped in a loveless union, and as you said yourself this has been a punishment for you.” Nathalie takes a deep breath, her eyes shining with tears and pain. “I just want to know why?” She whispers, “Why did you do this to me?”

He gets close to her again, and Nathalie suddenly brings her hands up, trying to make him stop. “Please, step away from me, I don’t want you near.” Her words probably hurt her more than they hurt him, but she can’t help notice how his eyes suddenly begin to tear at her words.

“Nathalie, I beg you not to do this.” He continues to walk towards her again, suddenly losing control of his senses.

“What don’t you want me to do, Gabriel? All I need is for you to explain your horrid reasons for lying to me and to keep your distance…” expect Gabriel doesn’t seem to be listening to anything she’s just said, and only keeps getting closer.

“Gabriel…” she mumbles, feeling his torso slightly pressing against her and how her body has suddenly stopped moving because she is now trapped between the patio table and him. “Stop,” she commands, but Gabriel doesn’t hear reason and suddenly wraps his arms around her in a very tight embrace.

“You don’t know what I was going to write next.” He whispers into her hair, not letting go.

“Let go of me.” Her hands press on his chest.

“You can read my other entries so you know that our union hasn’t been a torture for me.”

“I don’t want to read anything you wrote in that. All I want is for you to let go of me and explain why you started all of this. Why did you need to do this?”

“I will.” He murmurs but his grip on her is still uncomfortably tight.

“You will?” She questions, feeling terribly uncomfortable.

“Mm-hmm.”

A sort of giggle abandons her throat, “I don’t even know why I’m asking for you to tell me if I know I’ll never believe anything that leaves your mouth again.”

“I love you.” He suddenly says, letting go of her.

Her heart pounds very hard this time. Gabriel has just told her he loves her when only minutes ago she read the complete opposite.

“I don’t believe you.” She says, “I will never believe those words from you again.”

“It’s the truth.” He replies, his body still close to hers. “I’ve loved you for so long and that’s the truth. Yes, I’ve lied to you and this relationship began as a lie but what I now feel for you isn’t a lie. I love you.”

Nathalie shakes her head in disbelief. Gabriel’s been a good actor; she isn’t going to deny it. Every time he kissed her it felt like he needed her. Every time he said that he loved her, they were reaching the skies together. And every time he looked at her she felt like the most precious person in the world. Gabriel’s known how to deceive her, but now she won’t fall in his trap anymore.

“You’re a liar.” She says, looking dead into his eyes. “You’ve lied to me for years.”

“No, not for years because I’ve loved you for years.”

“I don’t want to hear from you anymore. Please, move away from me.” Nathalie attempts to push him away but Gabriel doesn’t budge. His press against her is iron-tight.

“Move…” she begs, “I don’t want to be near you because you’re a liar and you’ve never loved me.”

“No, that’s not true. Please…” he cries this time.

“I should’ve known that you were deceiving me. How was I so stupid to believe a man like you could love a woman like me?”

Gabriel’s hands go to her face now, “What do you mean a woman like you?”

“I mean a woman who isn’t like Emilie. Clearly the only woman you love and will always love. I was a fool from the beginning. Please move…” she yells this time.

Nathalie continues her attempts to move away from him, but Gabriel only keeps mumbling his apologies and how all of this has an explanation.

It’s the familiar voice that sounds behind them that has them both stop their struggle.

“Father! What are you doing?!” Adrien yells, realizing Nathalie’s eyes are a crying mess as she begs his father to let her go.

Gabriel finally steps away, noticing the horrified look in Adrien’s eyes. “Nothing is happening, please mind your own business.”

Adrien quickly makes his way towards Nathalie. “What do you mean nothing is happening? Why did you have Nathalie pinned on the table like that?”

“Everything is fine Adrien…” Nathalie finally says as she wipes away her tears.

“Are you sure? Why was he…”

“Nothing happened!” Gabriel yells this time, “this is none of your business, leave us alone!”

Adrien turns to look at Nathalie, and quickly takes hold of her arm, trying to make sure she really is still okay. “Nathalie…”

But seeing that Gabriel has now loosened his grip on her, Nathalie takes that opportunity to flee.

Wishing she could flee from it all. As if this were a nightmare not reality. “Nathalie!” Gabriel desperately calls her back, but she doesn’t stop until she’s away from him.

“Look what you did!” Gabriel yells at his son.

“This is my fault?” Adrien questions surprised.

“Yes,” Gabriel snaps back. “Because you weren’t able to keep your mouth shut yesterday, Nathalie now knows the truth.”

Gabriel lies like he’s used to by now, and attempts to shift the blame to Adrien. Because in his mind, Adrien’s words last night are what caused him to write such foolish things in his journal today.

“Nathalie heard us?”

“Yes…”

Something doesn’t seem right about Gabriel’s words. “So you’d built your relationship around a lie?” Adrien questions him. “If Nathalie wouldn’t have heard me say you were Hawkmoth, you were never going to tell her. What kind of person are you?”

“Leave me alone!” Gabriel yells, grabbing his laptop and slamming it shut. “You don’t know anything.”

His father’s words are offending him incredibly much. How can he be saying that it’s his fault that he’s fighting with Nathalie. “I’m done.” Adrien says, “I’m leaving this house now! I will no longer accept you telling me that it is my fault that you’ve been a terrible father and a terrible partner to Nathalie. I know you’ve been dishonest with her about Hawkmoth and if she now knows and wants to leave you because of it then that’s solely her decision.”

Adrien sprints out of the garden and back into the house. He’s leaving this place, clearly his father will not support his decisions so it’s best he’s gone before more offensive words are spoken.

———

Nathalie races into the bedroom she had stayed in last night.

The words she read in that journal entry continue to shatter her heart.

Flashbacks fill her memory. Echoes are heard from a distance though it’s only her own brain recalling the past.

5 years of deception.

5 years of thinking he loved her.

“I should’ve known.” Her broken voice whispers.

He loved Emilie too much, the proof of that love continues to live in the walls of the home they’ve raised their daughter in.

It all seems to make sense now.
Gabriel could never let her go…

“Why?” She asks as she collapses onto the floor, as if Gabriel were still standing in front of her. “Didn’t you know how much I loved you. How much I still love you.”

Nathalie suddenly stands up. Quickly going to the mirror and staring at her own pathetic reflection. She feels like a fool, years living a lie. Years of believing one thing and then finally realizing that everything she ever believed was wrong. It’s an overwhelming stream of emotions. Years she looked into his eyes, and for years she thought she could see a glimpse of love.

He’s known how to fake it all so well.

The answer is now why.

Why did he do this? Why did he forcefully condemn himself to a loveless union? Adrien discovered the truth, though many things don’t make sense yet. She’d like to ask him but that would mean she’d have to see him again.

She can’t bear it now, she’s not ready.
Her gaze is lost.
Her body is now weak and through her raw throat, an intense pain grows.

A knot that seems impossible to undo.
Nathalie begins to weep, feeling as if she deserves it all. The misfortune, the pain, the loveless universe she’s now trapped in. A heart now in crumbs, barely beating but then she remembers her daughter. Her daughter needs her to be strong, she can’t let this destroy her even if she feels like it already is.

A rapid decision is made. “I’ll leave tonight…”

She will no longer stay in a place where she’s lived a fake life.

———

The knock on the door startles her. She thinks it’s Gabriel, he’s probably returned to beg her to listen to him. She doesn’t want to talk to him, she isn’t ready to look at him again, not when her brain is still in shock.

But there’s a second knock on the door, and then a voice is heard.

“Nathalie,” it’s Adrien’s voice calling, “Are you in there?”

Quickly, Nathalie goes to open the door, finding Adrien. A determined look paints his face as he slips into the bedroom.

“What happened out there?”

“Oh, Adrien.” She mumbles to the boy who isn’t a boy anymore. To the person they’ve lied to the most.

She wonders if she deserves a bit of his comfort, probably not. But she doesn’t know how to cope with any of this, so Nathalie only lets herself sob uncontrollably in front of him.

“What did he do?” Adrien needs to ask, but Nathalie won’t manage to repeat any of it.

“Everything I believed was a mere dream… he’s lied to me.”

“You know he was Hawkmoth.”

Nathalie freezes at his question.

How is she supposed to tell him she’s known all along? She isn’t brave enough to do so, so all she does is nod her head. And in Adrien’s mind that’s what’s caused the problems between them. Unaware that the true source of their misery is that his father lied about his feelings for her.

“I can’t stay here anymore…” she mumbles.

“You’re leaving him?”

Forcefully, Nathalie nods. With the idea of wanting to set Gabriel free. Not wanting him to feel condemned to a loveless union as he called it.

“Yes.” she whispers.

“Come with me.” Adrien immediately suggests. “I’m leaving too, we need to escape this misery he’s trapped us in.”

“I don’t deserve your kindness…” Nathalie whispers.

Adrien sadly smiles, not quite understanding her words. “Don’t say that. What we didn’t deserve was for him to have done what he did with that miraculous.” Adrien reaches for her hands, “You and Belle are so important to me, please stay with us. There’s enough room for you two in Marinette’s apartment at least for tonight.”

“Belle.” Nathalie whispers her daughter’s name, realizing how unaware her little girl is of everything. How is she supposed to explain it all to her?

“I need to wait until she gets back from school.”

But Nathalie accepts Adrien’s offer.

She needs to escape Gabriel Agreste and all that he’s done to her. Though she doesn’t understand most of it just yet, and any explanation coming from him will come around to destroy her forever, so Nathalie waits.

“Whenever you’re ready,” Adrien says with compassion.

He walks away as her own head makes sense of it all.

Will she be capable of abandoning the man she so dearly loves?

She must, there’s no other option. But still her brain needs to process it all and think about the life that will await her and Belle if she abandons his side.

———

Hours he’s waited, and he’s begged to speak with her, but Nathalie’s refused. She’s locked herself in the bedroom, ignoring every single one of his pleas.

Gabriel hears the car pull up in the driveway.

Belle is home.

How will he get through the mess he himself created?

Gabriel thinks about Nathalie, the image of their daughter is the proof of his love for her.

He’s loved her for so long yet he never once deserved her. Her closeness, her attention, her laughter, her tenderness. Everything she gave him, but nothing he was worthy of.

Years ago he dropped the mask but never the lies. Gabriel was never brave enough to confess the origin of their relationship or the fact of Adrien’s knowledge.

Now, he realizes that he deserves all of this. His son’s contempt and Nathalie’s anger. Gabriel’s been cruel to both of them, and he’s hurt them both.

He hates what he’s created, but the worst of all is that he himself is his greatest enemy.

He’s the one who has created so many internal and external conflicts. He’s the one that hasn’t allowed himself to love Nathalie the proper way she deserves.

As she now slips away from him, it appears life is making it clear to Gabriel that he won’t be happy without her by his side. She keeps him together, avoids him from crumbling and crushing. But now she’s as close as she’s unreachable.

He can’t look at her as she hides from him.

He’d like to give her that gaze which will assure her that he longs for her.

Except, he’s dry and empty.

The lies he created pull them apart.

But he wants her, he wants it all.

Her smile, her love, her warmth.

He can’t lose her, not like this.

Not ever.

So he waits for his daughter to enter the home, but Nathalie is faster than him. Completely ignoring him, Nathalie rushes past him into the foyer to receive her daughter.

“Mama,” the small girl exclaims.

“How was school today, my Belle.”

“Fun, I got a star.” She moves the hair from her forehead, showing off her gold star.

“Belle.” Gabriel speaks his daughter’s name. “Will you say hello to me too?”

The girl runs into her father’s arms.

Nathalie gives him a cold stare. “Put her down, she needs to wash up before lunchtime.”

Gabriel obeys, needing to find the opportunity to talk to Nathalie once again. “Follow Margot upstairs,” Gabriel turns to look at the childminder, “please help Belle wash up.”

The woman nods and as Nathalie intends to leave as well, Gabriel reaches for her wrist. “Wait, please.”

She roughly yanks her arm away. “Don’t touch me,” she firmly says. “Don’t touch me ever again.”

Something shifts inside him to her harsh words, but he tries to keep his composure. “I need to talk to you. This can’t stay like this, I beg you.”

“I think I’ve made it clear that I don’t want to speak to you.” Nathalie walks away, as Gabriel realizes that he won't be able to talk to her soon.

———

Bags are packed.

Nathalie has kept her distance all day long.

Belle ate, did homework, played, and bathed, completely unaware of the tension between her parents.

Nathalie paces around Belle’s bedroom. The girl is now deeply asleep, but somehow the courage in her is nonexistent. She can’t comprehend why leaving Gabriel seems like an almost impossible task. Something in her heart breaks each time she realizes what she intends to do. Gabriel Agreste has been her life for more than 5 years, nevermind the time she’s been his assistant. The love she feels for him, makes her realize that Gabriel will probably be a complete disaster the moment he’s alone.

But even through that, her brain won’t stop flashing the words she read today. Gabriel made it clear that he’s never loved her and that their union has been a loveless one. Perhaps, if she leaves, he’ll find someone to truly love, even if that single thought rips her soul apart…

———

Nathalie stands at the top of the staircase with her daughter in arms. Belle’s head rests on top of her shoulder as she glances at the clock on the wall. It’s almost midnight, and the house is completely silent. She has no idea where Gabriel is but all she knows is that she must leave.

Quietly, Nathalie descends the staircase, making sure to be as gentle as possible in order to not wake Belle up. A sense of fear begins to pour inside her chest at the realization of her actions. Is she being cruel to Belle by keeping her away from her father? Nathalie isn’t sure, but staying in this home a minute longer will surely make her lose her mind.
As she reaches the front door, she pauses for a split second, turning around to stare at the house that’s been her home for so many years. She looks at it one last time, realizing how heavy the silence feels here… How heavy the ghosts from the past dominate this place. Quietly, Nathalie opens the front door and steps into the cool Paris night. The stars twinkle above her, seeming to encourage her departure. It aches to leave but it’s all necessary, she must set Gabriel free of this loveless union.
Nathalie makes her way to the car parked in the driveway. Carefully, she places Belle into her car seat, and the girl stirs a bit but doesn’t wake. She closes the door then tries to hop into the driver’s seat, but suddenly a loud thump is heard.
Instantly, her heart sinks.
Nathalie looks up, finding Gabriel rushing towards her. His face painting looks of confusion and anger.
“Nathalie! What are you doing?!” He shouts, his voice slurring in the process. He comes close to her, and immediately Nathalie smells the liquor coming from him. Panic grips at her, and then she realizes that he’s drunk. Shock quickly invades her, for all her years working for Gabriel and then being in a relationship with him, she had never before seen him intoxicated.
“Gabriel…” she mumbles, “You're drunk?”
He ignores her words, “What are you doing out here?” He asks in a loud voice.
“I’m leaving,” she responds, trying to sound determined but his current state is throwing her off completely, “I’m leaving, Gabriel so it’s best you don’t try to stop us.”
“You’re crazy!” He yells, grabbing her arm and pulling her away from the vehicle, “you can’t leave, you can’t take Belle away from me.”
“Gabriel, we’re leaving, please let go of me.” Nathalie tries to pull away, but his grip feels awfully tight.
“You haven’t let me explain anything to you. I love you, please just listen to me.” His voice is one of pure agony. Never before, has she seen him like this. And never before has he told her he loves her so many times in a day.
“I won’t listen to you anymore. I already told you that I don’t believe you. Just let me leave so you can finally be free of me.”
Why isn’t she listening to him? He loves her, and she’s killing him with her rejection.
“I beg you,” he cries, clinging to her, “please don’t leave me, don’t take away my baby…” his speech is so slurred yet so full of hurt. Nathalie can’t comprehend this, but she doesn’t have the energy to listen to him so she can understand the reasons for his actions.
“If you want to go to a court and sue me for parental rights go ahead and do so but as of now I’m leaving and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
Gabriel begins to sob uncontrollably upon hearing her words. “I love you…” he murmurs, falling onto his knees. Nathalie takes the opportunity to step away from him, and text Placide.
In an instant, the mute man appears, and finds the odd scene unfolding in the manor.
“Take care of Mr. Agreste.” She says, looking down as a defeated Gabriel now lies on the ground. Nathalie hops into her car, and speeds away, feeling as if her entire heart has stood with the man that has hurt so incredibly much.
———
It’s past midnight when she arrives at Marinette's apartment.
Belle is deeply asleep in her arms, and she herself is exhausted. The image of Gabriel crying and begging is now stuck in her brain, and somehow guilt has begun to creep up her head.
She rings the doorbell, and only a few seconds pass until the door is opened.
“Nathalie,” Adrien says, “I thought you wouldn’t come.”
“I’m so sorry to be here, but I had to leave.” Embarrassment now pulling at her bones.
“Don’t apologize, I want you here, please come inside.”
Adrien helps them bring in their belongings as he guides them inside. “Please feel free to take Belle to the guest bedroom. And if you’d like, we can have a small conversation after.”
Nathalie nods doing as Adrien suggested, and goes to tuck her daughter into the bedroom.
“Where’s Marinette?” Nathalie asks upon returning to the living area.
“She’s asleep,” Adrien replies, “she’s been very tired these past days, so she went to bed a while ago. I was just up, hoping you would arrive.”
Nathalie walks to him, quickly taking a hold of his hands. “You’re so kind and so is Marinette. I know it’s hard sometimes when you’re expecting a child, especially when you’re so young. I know it should be me giving my support to you both, but it’s now the opposite with me seeking your help… I’m so sorry.”
“Please, don’t apologize, Nathalie. You and Belle are my family, I would never deny my help to you.”
Nathalie smiles, “Thank you so much.”
“Please go to sleep, I know you’re tired. We’ll talk better tomorrow.”
Nathalie nods, as she leans in to press a soft kiss to his cheek and then she’s gone.
———
“Mama?” Nathalie is awoken up by her daughter tugging at her shoulder. Opening her eyes, she finds Belle’s bright blue eyes staring at her with deep confusion.
“Mama, where are we? Where’s papa?” She hears her daughter ask.
Nathalie sits up on the bed, as she rubs the sleep out of her eyes. “Belle, we are in Adrien and Marinette’s apartment.”
The girl sits up as well, “but where’s papa, and why aren’t we home with him?”
She doesn’t know what to say.
Maybe she’s done it all wrong.
She’s taken Belle too abruptly from the only home she knows. What is she supposed to say now?
“We’re staying here for just a little bit. How does that sound?”
Belle pouts, her angel face isn’t able to understand her mother’s words. “I don't want to be here, I want to go home with papa.”
“Please, Belle.” Nathalie tries to be gentle. “I need you to be on your best behavior, I promise this won’t last long.”
Perhaps she’s made her daughter an empty promise, but she can’t say much more at the moment.
———
Breakfast is not at all that bad, but Nathalie feels so out of place.
Marinette and Adrien are so generous, and treat them with such kindness. But still, Nathalie can’t help and feel a bit uncomfortable.
“Please try to finish your breakfast soon, Belle. Margot will be here soon to take you to school.”
Belle doesn’t respond, her little face only showing a bit of sadness. Marinette turns to look at a weighed down Belle, realizing that the girl probably misses her home.
“I heard it was your birthday just a little while ago.” Marinette says, trying to make the girl smile.
Belle looks away from her breakfast and towards Marinette’s soft eyes, and a smile soon draws her lips. “Yes, I’m finally five.” She responds proudly.
“Wow, you’re five, that's a big number. That means you're a big girl now.”
Belle nods, and then Adrien steps in remembering the gift he had for his sister, “I have your gift.” He says.
Instantly, Belle’s blue eyes brighten up to the news. “Really? Where is it? I want to open it!”
“You will be able to open it, Belle. But first you must finish your breakfast.” It’s Nathalie who attempts to get her daughter’s attention. “Remember that you can’t be late to school.”
The girl hurries her attention back to her breakfast, “After I’m ready, can I open my gift, Mama?”
“Yes, after you finish your breakfast.”
Belle does as she is told and everyone else keeps their silence.
———
The childminder comes for Belle and takes her to school.
They had fallen into a routine since Belle began school but as the car drives away with her daughter, Nathalie realizes that maybe she’s hurting her daughter with this sudden change. She doesn’t know what to do, she can’t return with Gabriel when it was he who hurt her first.
With his lies and selfishness.
As she wants to go back inside, a voice calls her name. “Nathalie!”
It’s Gabriel. She doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s him.
He rushes to her with a determined look on his face.
“We need to talk.”

Chapter Text

Gabriel rushes towards her as he notices her trying to leave. Trying to flee his presence and avoid his words like she’s been doing since all of this started.

“Wait, please…” he says with desperation.

Nathalie stops not daring to look at him just yet. Her eyes are already filling up with tears and she's tired of crying in front of him so she waits.

Gabriel freezes, the morning’s breeze wrapping around him in a raw sensation, but it’s not the cold that makes his heart race; it’s the fact that Nathalie’s trying to escape him again. It’s the weight of their unspoken words that leaves him feeling like he is slowly losing everything he’s ever had… everyone he’s ever loved.

“I beg you, please listen to me, Nathalie.”

Nathalie turns to look at him, her own heart pounding like a drum to his pleas. And her mind unwittingly traveling to the state he was in last night.

“What do you want?” She finally asks with a tired voice.

“I need you to hear me. I need to talk to you and explain everything, we can’t let this stay like this.”

Nathalie looks around for a bit as if contemplating her life and decisions. She realizes that Gabriel is right, they can’t let this stay the way it is. She can’t be running away from him each time she sees him, not when they have a daughter, a daughter that unites them until the end of time.

“Fine,” she says, “but not out here.” Then she’s walking again and Gabriel hurries his pace in hopes of mending what he’s broken.

———

Nathalie unlocks the apartment door, allowing for them to enter. She places the keys on the table, and then waits for him to speak.

Gabriel’s eyes wander around the room for a few seconds, his eyes a bit curious and carrying a look of realization.

“Where’s Adrien?” He finally asks.

“Him and Marinette are not here.”

He nods and stays quiet for a moment before he begins to walk towards her.

“Please, if we’re going to talk I’m going to need you to keep your distance.” Nathalie doesn’t want to repeat yesterday’s actions.

“I’m sorry.” He’s quiet again and he isn’t sure why because all night long he prayed she would listen to him today.

“Gabriel,” she sighs, “it’s clear there’s nothing you can say that will convince me that you ever loved me.”

“You’re right there is nothing I could say that would make you believe me because you said it yourself, you’ll never believe a word that leaves my mouth.”

Nathalie nods because he’s right she did say that. She isn’t sure if she’ll ever be able to trust him like she once did.

“I..” she tries to speak but he suddenly begins talking again, cutting his words through hers.

“I emailed you my entire journal.” He says, shocking her completely.

“I don’t want to read your journal. I don’t know why you would do that.”

“I know but I beg you to do so…”

“Gabriel, if I accepted to speak to you it was for Belle. We need to figure out what we’re going to tell her about our relationship being over.”

Gabriel’s heart drops as he hears her words. He can’t let her do this, he needs her to know how much he loves her. He needs her to understand that his silence is what made him a coward. That his mistakes and actions have haunted him for years, and that he can no longer keep this buried. He needs her to understand that he loves her and that he’s loved for so long.

“Nathalie, please read my journal, you’ll understand everything, I beg you.” His eyes are full of tears and pain, and his broken voice is what’s beginning to haunt her. “Maybe I sound crazy but I’m actually glad this all happened because these secrets have been consuming me for years…”

Nathalie shakes her head, again shocked with the fact that she never really ever knew him. “I can’t believe you’ve lied for so many years.”

“I know,” he mumbles, “I’m such a coward, but in the years after we had our daughter I never lied that I loved you that I still love you… please read my journal.”

“How do I know that you didn’t edit that thing before emailing it to me.” She asks.

“I’ve given you complete access to it, meaning you’ll be able to see when I first started it and when was the last time I wrote something. You will also be able to see when each entry was edited and how long ago it was edited.”

Her chest tightens to his words because she really doesn’t want to read anything he’s written, but the fact that he’s done this sparks something in her.

“Nathalie…” he murmurs, his voice sounding so broken as his feet begin to take unconscious and subtle steps towards her, “I need you to understand how vulnerable this makes me, and I’m not trying to be the victim by saying this but it’s the truth. In my journal you will read every single one of my lies and my truths. You’ll see my cowardness and my love for you. You’ll see that yes, this relationship began as a lie, but that sooner than later I fell head over heels for you and that I started loving you like I’ve never loved anyone before.”

This time, Nathalie starts to cry. She can’t hide the emotions that his words cause in her, and how much she wishes this would’ve never happened. But the thought that she would’ve continued living a lie causes knots in her stomach and heaviness in her chest.

“You’ve known how to fool me, Gabriel, I won’t deny the good actor you’ve been for years. But now that you’re here, I need to know what possessed you to do this to me. Why did you start this?”

Gabriel shouldn’t be surprised that she’s asking this, of course she’s going to want to know.

“If you’d read my journal…”

“I don’t want to read anything, what I need is for you to tell me with your own words how this all began and why?” She reaches for a few tissues, and wipes away the annoying tears that won’t stop leaving her eyes, “I deserve to hear it from your mouth and not let you continue hiding like you’ve always done.”

“Do you want to take a seat?” He asks, pointing at the sofa because if he’s going to tell her then they should be sitting.

Nathalie wordlessly takes a seat and quickly Gabriel does the same.

“Ladybug and Cat Noir discovered my secret identity.” He starts, immediately causing great shock in her.

“What? When?” She’s so confused, why didn’t she ever know?

Gabriel brings his head low, shame taking over him completely, “Adrien was Cat Noir…” he mumbles.

This time an audible gasp leaves her mouth. Gabriel’s revelations are shocking and unsettling. How has he kept such damning secrets for years?

“Oh my god… I can’t believe this…”

“Ladybug let me go but took the brooch from me. It was Adrien who wanted to turn me in to the police. He said that he’d never trust me again. And how could he be sure I would never do anything like this again.” Gabriel takes a deep breath, feeling the pressure of his cowardly actions. “I felt trapped. I didn’t know what to do, so I thought that if I told him that I was in love with you, he’d be convinced that I would never try to bring his mother back.”

The air leaves Nathalie’s lungs. Hearing the truth from Gabriel’s own mouth is much more crushing than she imagined. The realization of how their entire relationship started has now caused a huge amount of damage in her.

“But you didn’t,” She whispers, “you didn’t love me, you only wanted him to believe that so he could think that you’d be capable of moving on and not attempt to bring Emilie back.”

Gabriel nods, Nathalie’s right, that’s exactly what his twisted mind plotted the moment he lied to Adrien.

“Yes,” he replies, “I wanted Adrien to think that I had moved on and that he didn’t need to worry about me ever doing something like that again…”

Gabriel looks up at her this time, “That’s when I began courting you in hopes that you’d accept being in a relationship with me.”

Nathalie hides her face in her hands. She feels so embarrassed and so dumb. Why was she so foolish to fall for his miserable lies?

“I’m so sorry…” he whispers, “I…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She says, interrupting him. “You could’ve just told me what had happened and I would have gladly helped you cover up.”

“Because I knew you loved me…” he responds, shocking her again. It appears that’s what he's best at doing. Revelation after revelation and heartbreak after heartbreak.

“What?”

“You knew the power of the butterfly…” he says, “I knew your feelings for me, so I thought it’d be too cruel of me to suggest such a thing to you if I knew you loved me.”

Nathalie looks at him in utter confusion, he can’t be serious. His logic is so flawed, she can’t understand him.

“So you thought that deceiving me into a fake relationship was less cruel?”

“I…”

“You thought that falling into bed with me and telling me you loved me when you never meant your actions or words was less cruel?”

Gabriel brings his head down because nothing he can say will ever excuse his miserable actions.

“You’re such a coward…” Nathalie spits, standing from the sofa and walking to the door. “The only thing I don’t regret from this fake relationship is my daughter… but you Gabriel Agreste, I will regret ever having been in love with you.”

Gabriel’s heart breaks the second her words enter his ears. He’s destroyed his family, and their love. His web of lies has now crumbled and all its debris has now scattered across his family destroying everyone he’s ever loved. Nathalie is the love of his life, and now he’s sure he’s losing her…

“Please, Nathalie, I beg you…”

“Please leave,” she says, opening the front door, “I’ll figure out what to tell Belle, but as of now I don’t want to talk to you or see you…”

“Nathalie…”

“Leave!” She yells. And with a broken heart and a ripped out soul, Gabriel abandons the apartment.

———

Nathalie stands at the entrance of their new apartment. Her eyes scan the place with attention and sadness. Everything has been furnished exactly how she wanted, and in the month that it took to do so, her mind has refused to believe that this is her new reality. But with the keys, jangling in her hand, Nathalie knows that this is her and Belle’s new home.

“What do you think, Belle?” Nathalie asks, looking down at her daughter.

Her bright blue eyes only look at the place with bewilderment because in her little heart all she’s wanted is to return home. “I thought we were going home?” The little girl finally says.

Nathalie’s chest tightens as she kneels down beside her, “Sweetheart, this is our new home now. I know it’s not the same but I promise we’ll make it as cozy and as warm as possible.”

“I don’t like it. I want to go home with papa.”

This time Nathalie’s heart sinks to Belle’s words. In the month since they’ve left Gabriel’s side, she’s tried to prepare Belle for the changes they’re experiencing. She’s spoken to her daughter about their future and all things necessary, but now as she stares at her sad face, she realizes that not enough words are possible to soften up the transition.

“I know, baby. But remember I told you that you'll still be able to see your papa even though we’re living someplace else.” Nathalie’s hand brushes a strand of Belle’s hair behind her ear, “you’ve seen him almost everyday since we've been with Adrien and Marinette, I promise you’ll continue seeing him.”

Belle’s eyes glisten a bit and Nathalie’s heart aches to the pain they’re causing their daughter. “I just wish we could be together again…” Belle’s childlike voice sounds as she buries her face in her mother’s chest.

“I know my darling…” Nathalie’s broken voice whispers because many times she’s wished the same thing, “but sometimes grown-ups make choices that are hard to understand. Your dad and I love you so much and I promise we’ll do our very best to make you happy always.”

Belle moves away from her, slowly nodding at her mother’s words.

“Thank you, my love.” Nathalie stands from the floor, and grabs Belle’s hand, “come see your room, I’m sure you’ll love it.”

———

Nathalie stands in front of the mirror, adjusting her earrings and making sure her appearance is impeccable. The elegant black dress she wears shows perfectly the beauty of the brand she’ll be representing tonight. As she searches through her closet, trying to find a bag that could fit her dress, she realizes almost every single item she owns are from the Gabriel brand. Endless gifts and accessories, couture, and high fashion jewelry. Everything Gabriel has given her and everything she’s picked herself from his endless talent and sophistication.

She sinks as she realizes that her entire life has been Gabriel. She’s worked for him, she’s assisted him, and she’s loved him. She’s done everything for him and tonight isn’t the expectation. Tonight they’ll be meeting with a few investors as they prepare the launching of a new product. The dinner that is being hosted tonight is extremely important to ensure that this new product does excellent in the market.

Nathalie knows the role she plays in events like these. Her job is to show the new product while sticking to Gabriel’s side like she’s always done. She’s never mind that, after all that’s her job but now everything is different. Everything has changed, and now she isn’t sure how she’ll manage to be near Gabriel for so many hours without breaking down.

But she must manage, her profession demands perfection and she won’t ruin today’s dinner because of her foolish heart. She exits her bedroom, and walks down the hallway not before poking her head in her daughter’s room to ensure she’s sleeping.

Adrien and Marinette enter the apartment, Nathalie walks up to them knowing they’d arrive quickly since their apartment is right next to hers. “Thank you so much for agreeing to watch her. Margot wasn’t able to make it tonight.”

“Anytime,” Adrien says, noticing Nathalie’s nervous expression, “Do you feel ready to actually attend this dinner with my father?” He needs to ask.

“It’s not that I feel ready or not, it’s something that must be done regardless of our situation.”

Nathalie is brave, there’s no doubt about that. “Good luck.”

Nathalie smiles sadly and just as she’s ready to head out, the doorbell rings. Marinette is quicker than any of them and answers the door in a second.

Gabriel Agreste stands at the entrance of the apartment, dressed and ready to go.

“Mr. Agreste…” she whispers, staring at him with surprise.

Gabriel stares back at her, he wasn’t expecting for Marinette to answer the door when he came up here. His eyes scan her for a few seconds, as they pause on the gentle curve of her abdomen. It’s almost undetectable but it’s surely undeniable, and in that single moment, Gabriel is hit with the fact that he will become a grandfather. Something that he tries to ignore because of how unreal it’s felt.

His lingering eyes make Marinette feel uncomfortable and exposed. Swiftly, she brings her hands together and lets them rest in front of her middle.

“Is Nathalie here?” He asks, meeting her gaze again.

“I’m here,” Nathalie says, “but what are you doing here?” She begins to walk out, giving Adrien and Marinette a little nod. Once she’s outside, her eyes fall on a tired looking Gabriel.

“Why are you here? I requested a driver from the company to come for me.”

“I canceled that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t think it’d be appropriate if we arrived in separate vehicles.” That’s a decent excuse for him not to reveal the fact that he’ll use anything to get close to her whenever he can.

Nathalie rolls her eyes, and begins to walk towards the elevators.

When they are inside the car, she immediately feels the need to make things clear to him.

“Don’t confuse yourself, Gabriel.” She says as he switches the vehicle on. “I agreed to this because I think you’re right. It won’t be appropriate to let the investors sense there’s issues between us.”

“Nathalie, please.” He wants to take the opportunity, “I couldn’t care less what those people think right now.” All he desires is to speak to her, compliment her beauty as he’s used to, but Nathalie has created this rigid distance between them and it’s all his own fault.

“You will care if the product fails,” she stares straight ahead, not wanting to look at him. “Now hurry up before we’re late.”

———

There’s already an entire area reserved for them when they arrive at the restaurant. “Good evening, Mr. Agreste, good evening Ms. Sancoeur.”

The restaurant host guides them into the private dining area. As they arrive at the entrance of the private room, Nathalie immediately finds Gabriel’s assistant Beau, waiting for them.

“Good evening, Mr. Agreste.” He says, and then turns to look at Nathalie, “Hello, Nathalie.”

Gabriel ignores him and Nathalie only gives a simple nod. She steps away from Gabriel and goes to Beau’s side, and seeing how distant Nathalie’s behavior is, it surely brings a questioning glare from the assistant.

“Everything okay?” He asks, but Nathalie only ignores his question and reaches for the tablet in his hands.

“Is everything ready?” She asks.

He nods, “Yes, everything is ready. We’re just waiting for the investors to arrive.”

From a distance Nathalie sees them approaching, the 3 individuals are accompanied by the host.

“Nathalie,” Gabriel holds onto her wrist, wanting to speak, wanting to talk to her.

“Stop,” she commands. “Alice is arriving with her husband and assistant. I beg you to not do this here.”

Nathalie’s words hurt him.
He forces a smile, puts on that mask of perfection when Alice is close enough. “Hello, Gabriel.”

“Alice, Matt,” he greets them both. “How are you?”

“Great, and so excited for the upcoming events.”

She sees Nathalie. “Hello, Nathalie. You look as beautiful as always.”

“Thank you, Alice. You look great too, shall we?”

The investors are crucial to the project and as he watches Nathalie begin the meeting while Beau and her display the latest luxury watch collection, Gabriel’s anger grows.

How can she so easily ignore him as if he weren’t here?

Her smile, a forced one but a smile nonetheless.
Her unspoken resentment, her professionalism despite their issues irritates him immensely.

Maybe it’s the fact that she can ignore him so easily that has him so angry, Gabriel isn’t sure but he can’t take it anymore. She’d forced herself to sit next to him, she didn’t want Alice or Matt to notice anything out of the ordinary.

He’s so upset but he knows he cannot say anything or he’ll ruin tonight’s presentation. So all Gabriel does is reach for the glass of wine in front of him and gulps down in one whole sip. That surely gets him a raised eyebrow from every single person at the table, but no one says anything.

He signals for the waiter to fill his glass again, and then very gently lets his hand rest on top of Nathalie’s thigh, Nathalie freezes.

What does he think he’s doing? Her own hand travels underneath the table to attempt to push him away but he only tightens his grip on her. “Before we get into what this watch represents, please tell us how soon you’ll be able to make it back for the presentation of the campaign?” Gabriel asks knowing they live out of the country. His face displays a look of straight disobedience. He knows what he’s doing as he keeps his grip on her. He’s angry and he wants Nathalie to know that.

“Everything alright, Nathalie?” Alice asks, noticing the uncomfortable look on her face.

“Yes… yes…” Nathalie says, her hand pressing against his underneath the table.

“So?” Gabriel asks, waiting for Alice’s response.

Alice only gives them an odd look before having her assistant look through their schedule. “I love the watch, it displays perfectly the quality of high jewelry. Be sure that I’ll be here for its presentation and launch.”

Gabriel and Nathalie both smile, and then Gabriel again reaches for his glass and gulps it down.

They chat for a while and as the time passes, the more glasses of wine Gabriel consumes.

It’s Nathalie who can’t take anymore, her and Beau’s eyes only collide as they watch Gabriel drown himself in alcohol.

She leans towards him at a point where Alice leaves the table and Matt talks to the assistant. “Don’t you think you’ve drunk enough?” She asks discreetly.

Gabriel shakes his head, “Not enough,” he replies, “I usually drink twice as much every day…”

Her eyes widened to his words because she’s never seen him in an indecent state when she’s dropped her daughter off so they could spend time together. And she doesn’t see him in the mornings anymore because she prefers to work from home and if she needs to communicate something to him she typically just emails him.

Tonight is the first night since their separation that they’re spending time together. And now that she’s got him so close, she realizes that Gabriel being alone has become a dangerous situation.

Guilt immediately begins to fill her stomach, because she’s never seen him drunk, except for the night she left him. But even through that, Nathalie would’ve never thought that this is what he’s started doing since they left. The realization hurts because she doesn’t want him to hurt and she doesn’t want him to hurt himself. But it seems that that’s what's been happening since she left.

“What?” She finally mumbles.

He nods, attempting to reach for the glass in front of him again, “please,” she says, grabbing his hand and this time he turns to look at her and leans in towards her. “I love you like I’ve never loved anyone in this world. Your absence is killing me, but this,” he says, pointing at the glass of wine, “this makes me forget the terrible person I’ve been and how I’ve destroyed everything I’ve ever loved.”

Nathalie’s eyes fill with tears to his words as pain and sadness begin to invade her. “You can’t keep doing this, Gabriel…”

He says nothing because nothing will heal his broken heart.

———

Alice and Matt return to the table.

“We’re so happy with this product and we’re sure it’ll do great.”

Nathalie barely has it in her to smile at them, but she tries her best because there’s no other option.

Glasses and a bottle of champagne are brought out as a toast and a farewell treat.

The waiter serves everyone a glass, and Nathalie has to force herself to accept it because she doesn’t want Gabriel drinking anymore.

The toast takes place and again he drinks that thing like he’s a parched man. She’s sure that he looks strange before the investors eyes but given their history and how professional Gabriel’s always been nobody says anything. And not like he’s misbehaving but it’s still uncomfortable to see a person drink so heavily at a dinner table.

Nathalie accompanies them towards the exit, and as she leans in to hug Alice goodbye the woman suddenly whispers in her ear.

“I hope you’re okay and I hope this issue resolves quickly… I really love the product and I am really putting my faith that everything will turn out good.”
She moves away from her, and gives her arm a quick squeeze, “Good luck, dear.”

Then they’re gone and Nathalie turns to look at Gabriel who now leans over the table, looking utterly spent.

———

Nathalie turns the vehicle on, Gabriel sits beside her and Beau sits in the backseat.

“I can easily call a driver, Nathalie.” Beau says as he feels he’s very much in between their obvious issues.

“No, Beau, I don’t want unknown people to be with Gabriel when he’s clearly in a bad state. We’ll drive to my place first, then I need you to drive Gabriel back home and from there, feel free to take any vehicle in order to go.”

“Okay,” the man agrees.

———

The drive to her apartment is a bit long but Nathalie tries her best to keep her eyes focused in front of her. Her hands grip the steering wheel tightly as she feels Gabriel swaying slightly in the passenger seat. His breath is heavy and stinks of wine and regret.

“Why won’t you just come back home, Nathalie?” His slurred voice suddenly sounds.

Her eyes shoot up towards the rear view mirror, looking at an uncomfortable Beau.

“Gabriel…” she whispers, hoping for him to stop.

“I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

“Gabriel, please can we not do this right now…” her skin crawling with pure embarrassment.

“Why not?!” He suddenly shouts, “I’m just telling you how I feel, is that so terrible!”

Her eyes begin to glisten with tears, this is probably one of the worst situations she’s ever found herself in.

“Why won’t you say anything!” He yells again, his voice full of anger and heartbreak.

“Please…” she begs, her eyes going to Beau again who stares at them with obvious shock.

“I miss you and I need you…” Gabriel murmurs.

Nathalie’s heart breaks to the sight of him. So vulnerable and so broken, she almost wishes she could lay by his side and tell him it will all be okay. But she knows that’s impossible because the simple remembrance of all his lies and cowardice is what continues to destroy her soul.

———

They arrive at the apartment, and Nathalie hops off the driver’s seat ready to have Beau take over.

But as soon as she exits the vehicle, Gabriel also gets out of the car.

She tries to walk towards the building’s entrance, but Gabriel’s sudden behavior stops her dead in her tracks.

“What are you doing, Gabriel?” She asks. But he says nothing as he begins to block her path.

“Mr. Agreste,” Beau calls, trying to get him back into the vehicle.

“Leave us alone, Beau, I need to talk to my wife…”

“But…”

“Leave!” Gabriel screams and that’s enough to make the man wait by the vehicle.

“I’m not your wife.” Nathalie says, looking so frustrated with his behavior.

“I know I’m such a fool for never marrying you. Can we talk now?” He asks.

“No, Beau has to get home and you’re too drunk for a conversation…”

“Am I?” He asks as his arms wrap dangerously around her.

“Please… you need help. This is really bad and I’m starting to get scared for you…”

“Are you?”

“Will you please let go of me.”

“Why are you acting like something is wrong with me?” He asks, clearly offended. “I am fine, I do not have a drinking problem because I have this all under control.” His arms start to become uncomfortably tight around her.

“This needs to be discussed when you’re sober… please let go of me…” her feet move in direction to the building but Gabriel continues to follow her.

“Have you read my journal?” He asks.

“No, but you need to go back to the car.”

“Why haven’t you read it?”

She says nothing and continues to walk.

“Can I see Belle,” he suddenly asks.

She stops walking this time, “no, of course not. You can’t have Belle see you like this.”

“Well, can you at least give me a kiss.” He tries to lean towards her this time.

“Gabriel! What’s wrong with you?”

“I love you so much…”

“You’re too drunk…”

“I’ll do anything to have you in my arms again…” his lips crash on the side of her face as he begins to mumble incoherently. His sloppy kiss feels terribly uncomfortable and in that moment Nathalie realizes that Gabriel needs help.

His situation is hard and if she doesn’t do something soon it will soon get out of hand.

“Beau!” She hollers, and in an instant the assistant comes to them.

“Take Mr. Agreste,” she orders, shoving him away from her.

Beau quickly places a steadying hand on his boss’ shoulders as he moves him away from Nathalie.

“Take him, please…”

Beau only nods, and Gabriel cries like a baby as he begs to be heard. The assistant manages to get Gabriel into the vehicle and then drive away.

In that single moment Nathalie feels defeated like never before. It’s not that Gabriel has defeated her but that her own love for him has. Because now she knows she won’t ever stop loving him.

Not now and not ever, and now she must find him help.

Chapter Text

Nathalie stares out the window and onto the busy streets of Paris. Her eyes are lost in the city even as her thoughts are swirling around like a storm inside her brain. It’s been days since the dinner, yet she hasn’t found any peace. Gabriel has brushed away every single one of her concerns regarding his mental state. He’s ignored her words every time she’s told him that she thinks he might have a drinking problem.

Her mind almost doesn’t believe he’s fallen into this situation. How has a man who’s been a perfectionist his entire life let himself fall victim to the threads of alcohol. Her initial thought is to think that Gabriel simply cannot be left alone. But the reminder of his life before their relationship tells a different story.

After all, Gabriel was alone for a long time after Emilie disappeared and not once did she see him the way she sees him now. Gabriel looks lost, destroyed, he looks to be slowly melting away.

The thought enters her brain, does Gabriel really love her?

She’s fought the urge dozens of times to not open his journal. She’s afraid to know what it says even as Gabriel has begged her to read it. And today isn’t the exception, today she’s as curious as always to know what his journal contains.

Hesitantly, Nathalie reaches for her laptop that’s sitting on her nightstand and opens it.

She goes to her emails, instinctively checking if she hasn't any unanswered ones and then goes to Gabriel’s who’s been haunting her every time she opens her mail.

The subject reads, ‘My Journal: Please Read It.’

Then a detailed description begins on how much he loves her and that everything will make sense as soon as she reads this. Nathalie stares at the file which contains his journal, letting her fingertips hover over the mouse. She’s about to click on it when the doorbell suddenly rings, startling her out of her actions.

Then there’s a knock on her bedroom door,

“Mr. Agreste is here.” Margot’s voice speaks through the door.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” Nathalie says, quickly closing her laptop.

She looks at her reflection in the mirror then reaches for the business card on top of the table. She tucks it deep into her pocket and then heads to the living area.

———

Gabriel sits on the sofa with Belle on his lap. The girl giggles as he whispers something into her ear.

“Nathalie…” he mumbles as soon as he sees her standing in front of them.

“Mama!” The girl exclaims, getting off her father’s lap, “Papa is going to take me to lunch and then to Kids Empire!”

“That’s fun baby.” Nathalie says, looking down at her daughter.

“Do you want to join us?” Gabriel suddenly asks.

Her first thought is to deny his request because she’s never joined them in the times that he’s come to pick up Belle.

But as soon as she's about to reply, Belle’s voice suddenly sounds, “Will you come with us, mama.”

“Belle… I…”

“Please…” the girl begs.

When Nathalie looks at Gabriel, she can see the huge amount of expectation in his eyes.

“Fine.” She finally replies, looking only at Belle.

———

Gabriel and Nathalie sit on a bench, making sure they have a clear sight of their daughter. The girl jumps up and down on the trampolines, as she turns around to wave at her parents.

Both Gabriel and Nathalie wave back.

“She looks happy,” Gabriel suddenly says, “it makes her happy when we’re all together.”

Nathalie doesn’t respond, her eyes stay observing her daughter.

“Nathalie…” he wants to speak, but has no idea what to tell her. Everything is so complicated, he can’t speak to her like he used to anymore.

“You hardly ate anything at lunch,” she says, keeping her gaze away from him.

“I know I just have a headache.”

Nathalie nods, it’s clear he’s trying his hardest to mask his hangover. He’s still drinking and the reality of it is so frightening. She digs her hand into her pocket and takes out the business card.

She hands it to him, “Here…”

Wordlessly, he reaches for it. It takes him a moment to realize what it is. It’s a therapy support session.

“What is this? Why are you giving this to me?”

“It’s a therapy support session.”

“You think I need this?” He sounds defensive and maybe a bit shocked.

“You do need it, Gabriel.” Nathalie quickly responds. “Your behavior at that dinner was like nothing I’ve ever seen from you.” She gives him a penetrating stare, “besides, I can tell you’re hungover. You’re drinking way too much, I’m afraid you’re growing a dependency on alcohol.” Her voice breaks as she speaks those final words. Her fears are growing as she watches the man she so deeply loves lose himself completely.

Gabriel’s eyes glisten to her words and perhaps she’s right. “This is what your absence is doing to me.”

“You’re going to blame me?” She almost sounds offended.

“Nathalie…”

She harshly interrupts him, “Don’t you dare. I’ve been a game to you for years. You used me as a way to save yourself, and I’m still trying to help you despite it all.”

“Because you love me,” Gabriel says with immense hope.

“Don’t confuse yourself,” she can’t tell him she loves him now, so she tries to cover up her feelings even as she wants nothing more than to speak the truth of her heart as she used to when it was only them and no one else. “You’re the father of my daughter, and Belle deserves it. I’m doing it for her, everything I do is for her.”

Fears within him grow by the day. Each day feels like he’s losing her more and more.

Could she ever forgive him? That’s all his heart desires now.

“Please Nathalie,” he begs her as he glances down at the card again. “I’ll do anything to have you back. I’ll attend the therapy session, I’ll do therapy, but please give me another chance. I love you, please believe me.”

There’s no energy within her to respond.

She wants to believe him, and not the words she read all those weeks ago… the words that haunt her day and night.

But what if he’s only lying to her her? What if he’s only grown dependent on her and he only wants her back because he can’t physically live without her and not because he truly loves her.

“Will you ever read my journal?” He dares ask her.

“I can’t,” she faintly whispers. “I’m too broken, Gabriel, your lies broke me. You have to understand me.”

He nods, but still asks, “can you give me a bit of hope at least that you’ll read it one day?”

She can’t respond with words. All Nathalie does is stand up from the bench and walk away from him and in direction to where her small daughter plays.

———

Humiliated is how he feels as he steps into the room where the therapy session will take place.

He quite literally feels like the worst person in the world. Like a failure and a disgrace.

But he thinks of Nathalie and Belle, of Adrien and his future grandchild. And he knows he must push away his pride and accept that: yes, he has a problem.

As Gabriel walks into the therapy room, a woman with encouraging eyes signals for him to take a seat. Hesitantly, he sits down as he shifts in his chair and avoids her gaze. The room is quiet, save for the faint ticking of a clock, each tick reminding him of the time he’s lost himself in alcohol, the moments he can never reclaim.

“Hello Gabriel, my name is Diane, we spoke on the phone.”

Gabriel swallows dryly, “yes…”

“I know you were extremely hesitant about coming but I’m so glad you’re here.” The woman goes through a few papers, looking through the notes she took from her conversation with Gabriel.

“So this began about two months ago, correct?”

“Yes…”

“Will you tell me what triggered this?”

Gabriel takes a deep breath, his eyes finding a point behind her and staying there for the remainder of their conversation.

Diane asks question after question and even though it feels like she’s invading his privacy, the conversation goes fairly smoothly. He wasn’t detailed with his answers, but oddly everything he said seemed surprisingly liberating.

“Thank you, Gabriel. I hope to see you soon.”

Gabriel nods and shakes her hand and then walks away.

He isn’t sure what will come out of this session, but what he does know is that he’s done what Nathalie asked him to do and maybe that’s the path of fixing his relationship with her.

So he goes to where he knows she is. To where he knows he won’t be tempted by the demons of alcohol.

In that small apartment where their daughter is. In a place Nathalie won’t leave because the pain of his actions continue to linger between them. They continue to hurt them both in a way that is taking away their peace and hope. But Gabriel won’t let that hope die, that is the last thing he can hold onto as he prays for her forgiveness.

———

He brings dinner, in an attempt to slowly restore what once existed. When they’d have dinner together. Inside the bubble he had placed them all in, not knowing that the bubble would burst due to his own cowardice… due to his own lies

One knock on the door is enough for Nathalie to answer.

“Gabriel?” She looks at him in confusion with the takeout bags in hand and so late at night. “What are you doing here?”

“Let me have dinner with you and Belle tonight.” It’s more of a broken plea than a request.

But before she can respond, a curious and happy little Belle rushes to the front door.

“Papa!” She embraces her father’s legs.

“Hello, baby.”

Nathalie can’t deny his request, Belle has already seen him. She opens the door, allowing him to enter as she takes the bags from his hands and places them on the table.

“Will you be staying here tonight, papa?”

Gabriel nods, picking his little girl up and taking her into his arms, “I will and I brought your favorite food, Chinese food.”

“Yummy,” the girl says, very happy. It's obvious that her happiness is found when her parents are together. And that’s what makes Nathalie feel so guilty. She knows Belle wants nothing more than for them to be united again, and deep down she wants that too. Because countless times since Nathalie abandoned his side, she’s wished she’d never ever had read his diary. She wishes she would’ve never known the reality of how their relationship started because then maybe she had spared herself such heartbreak and Belle such disappointment. But Natalie knows that her hidden wishes are foolish because only a fool would prefer to live a lie.

Nathalie carefully places the dishes and silverware on the table and begins to plate the food. Gabriel watches her somber expression, and he can’t help again feel so terrible for everything he’s caused to this family.

“Let me help you.” He says, putting Belle down and going to the dining table.

She says nothing because she’s almost afraid that if she addresses him she’ll break down into tears.

So they eat together but in silence. Belle is the only one that speaks, talking about her school and friends.

Gabriel maintains the conversation, but his eyes keep traveling to the ones who he knows observe them in deep silence. He notices how Nathalie hardly eats, and how the somber look on her face only seems to increase. She’s sad and it’s so obvious.

“Let’s get you ready for bed.” Nathalie says to Belle as she notices that she’s almost done with her food.

“Aww,” the girl complains, “why do I have to go to bed so early mama?”

“This isn’t early,” Nathalie responds, “This is the time you always go to bed, you know you have to, if not you’ll be tired in the morning and there’s school tomorrow.”

Belle crosses her arms as she sinks herself into the dining chair. She’s clearly upset.

“Belle…” Nathalie sighs with a bit of frustration.

“I’ll help you brush your teeth.” Gabriel suddenly says, hoping that will encourage the girl to obey her mother. Belle looks up, noticing a gentle smile on her father’s lips, and in her little mind she wishes she’d be home and then she would feel so much happier and maybe a bit more obedient.

Belle only nods, and Gabriel extends his hand to her and walks her to the bathroom. He helps her tidy up and then slip into her pajamas. And all Nathalie does is observe them in utter silence.

———

They walk out of Belle’s bedroom together and into the living room.

“Are you ready to leave?” She asks.

He nods, but his insides tighten because he knows that’s not true at all. Gabriel will never get used to sleeping apart from his family, from being away from the woman he so deeply loves. He’ll never be ready to leave them.

“Okay…” she mumbles, waiting for him to leave, but he doesn’t move. Gabriel only stands there staring at her as if he were trapped in an endless loop of sorrow.

“Gabriel?” She questions, feeling a bit nervous by his sudden trance. “Are you going to go?” She asks again.

“I am…” he finally responds as he begins to walk towards her.

Nathalie stiffens a bit and decides to take a seat on the sofa. Having him so close will always remind her of how everything could’ve been different.

He takes a seat next to her.

“Gabriel…” She tries to speak, but he suddenly speaks, pushing his words through hers. “I went to therapy today.”

Nathalie looks at him with a bit of surprise, “You did?”
He nods, but doesn’t say anything more, looking almost embarrassed by his confession.

“I’m glad…” she mumbles, “I hope these new sessions help you with…” but her words suddenly die out because she is almost too afraid to say them.

“With my drinking problem…” he says, looking into her eyes. But Nathalie stays quiet this time because she isn’t sure what to respond anymore.

“I don’t have a drinking problem. What I have is a hole in my heart because the woman I love isn’t with me anymore… but I’m sure if only she’d return to me then I’d feel like I could breathe again…”

This time Nathalie stares at him with watery eyes. She can feel as he moves closer to her on the sofa. And she also knows that his words refer to her, but somehow her heart is too hurt to allow her mind to believe it, so she allows for the words that she might regret later to leave her mouth,

“And who is that woman, Gabriel?” She questions as if she were an idiot who enjoys suffering.

Gabriel seems a bit taken aback by her question, but he doesn’t hesitate to answer it. “That woman is you, Nathalie.” This time he grabs her hands, and wraps them around his own, only hoping she could feel his love through the simple touch of his hands.

“Are you sure?” She asks with a bit of a challenging glare.

He nods, “I know you doubt me now and I can’t blame you for that, but when I tell you that you are the woman I love it’s because you are who I’m in love with.”

Nathalie shakes her head, her hands still in his. It’s hard to believe him after everything that has happened. So all she can do is reflect on his words. She doesn’t know the meaning behind his words anymore. She used to believe that his words were pure and sincere, and that truly meant the world to her. Now, she isn’t sure anymore. She doesn’t know if there’s truth behind them or if they are simply being said from the confusion in his mind, and if that’s the case then it’s best the wind pushes his words far away from her.

“Nathalie,” he says her name with such intensity, “I love you and that’s my truth…”

“That’s your truth?” She questions, attempting to pull her hands away from him, but he doesn’t budge and only keeps them in place, “then what is your lie?”

Again, Gabriel is taken aback by her sudden courage to ask such damning questions, but he manages to respond, “My lie…” he mumbles with sorrow and shame, “there were many of them…”

And there he is right, Nathalie knows that well. There were many lies during their relationship and even before it.

During her time away from him, her brain had begun to mentally check if Gabriel filled the boxes of a ‘real partner.’ The stuff he did and the stuff he didn’t do when they were together. Her mind began to do this in hopes of understanding if he really ever loved her or if all of it was a lie.

For starters, what he didn’t do was easy. Gabriel never married her, and that has been enough for her to feel like she was never the woman he wanted. It’s not that she was desperate to marry because that was not the case. She always believed that if true love was there then a paper wouldn’t change anything. Still, she always wondered what was stopping him from marrying her, she never imagined that it could be that he viewed their relationship as fake. Because in her mind she always tried to convince herself that Gabriel was just like her, he did not need a piece of paper to confirm ‘their love…’ how naive she feels now.

But her mind has still fought for answers. So she mentally checked what he did do, and that has probably been the most difficult part to understand. Because what Gabriel did was make her feel loved. He made her feel almost worshipped in the secrecy of their shared space. He made her feel everything she never imagined she could be capable of feeling.

How could anyone fake such things? That’s her most haunting question. How was Gabriel able to tell her he loved her countless times as he touched her skin with such fervor? How was he able to kiss her lips with such sweetness and make her melt into him each time? All of these questions she’ll probably never comprehend, or know why he truly decided to hurt her in such a way.

So all she can do now is pull her hands away from his grasp, and hope to find some peace in the loneliness of her room.

“You should go…” she finally says.

“I thought we were talking.” He responds, looking a bit disappointed because he truly hoped this was the moment he could confess his mistakes and feelings and gain her forgiveness.

But Nathalie only shakes her head, “I’m tired and I don’t feel like talking about this anymore.”

“Why…” he asks, feeling his soul sinking again, “why can’t you just hear me and understand that I really love you.” He says it with such sadness as if he deserves to be sad and ask her such things.

“I…”

“I love you, Nathalie. I really love you, I haven’t lied for years when I say that to you.”

She looks at him with hurt in her eyes, “but you did once, didn’t you?” She questions.

He nods, “Yes, and now you know that and I am so sorry for that.”

“I wonder how long you lied about it?” She asks this time hoping to receive answers to her many questions.

But instead of responding, Gabriel replies with another question that leaves her dumbfounded…
“I wonder that too…” he echoes.

Nathalie looks at him with a puzzled look on her face, “What?”

“I said that I wonder that too. I wonder when my heart started loving you.” He looks into her eyes, staring straight at her blue orbs and trying to make their eyes connect in a way that could make her believe his words. “I sometimes feel like the only person I was lying to was myself because when I began courting you, I was so convinced I didn’t love you, and-“

“Stop,” she begs. “Please don’t say anything anymore.” She doesn’t want to know actually, she doesn’t want to know the secrets behind everything.

She is too afraid of knowing.

“Nathalie, I love you. If only you could believe me…”

“Gabriel, please…”

But Gabriel doesn’t allow her to finish speaking and he leans in to kiss her lips. He does it out of impulse and out of desperation. Nathalie won’t hear him, she won’t believe him, maybe if he physically shows her how much he loves her then maybe she’ll understand that his love for her is sincere.

Gabriel feels as Nathalie’s hands press against his chest as he leans towards her to deepen their kiss. The press of her hands is so tight that he almost feels she will push him away and break their kiss. But Nathalie doesn’t do that, on the contrary, she begins to kiss back with such sentiment.

A kiss that could mend it all if only she’d let it.

A kiss that could cure them, but as their kiss grows personal and deep, the words she read on that day rewind in her mind.

The kiss continues a bit longer, until Nathalie gently pushes him away. “Nathalie,” he breathes still so close to her.

She can’t respond.

His kiss still lingering on her lips, feeling as it burns her most inner core. He watches as she disappears into the hallway far and away from him.

But this time it doesn’t break him, this time he can’t help but feel hope.

A silent but bright hope because Nathalie kissed him back, and just maybe it can all be fixed.