Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Seungmin has never been a stereotypical omega. He is tall with broad shoulders, though slim, and possesses a strong, overpowering scent of cinnamon. His sarcastic sense of humor sets him apart, and unlike many submissive omegas whom the world often takes advantage of, he enjoys being a little asshole to people.

He’s straight forward, intelligent, relatively ill-mannered. He’s occasionally annoying, and strong worded though he’s not a man of overflowing nor continuous semantics. All things alphas who want a simple and obedient housewife wouldn't be able to handle. 

So clearly, comfortable and very happy with himself and his personality, Seungmin gave up on the idea of snagging a alpha. Matter of fact, he quite dislikes them. The stereotypical ones at least. Big and strong, tall and protective like Seungmin can’t fend for himself, or speak up for his own rights as a fucking human being.

Then again, maybe it wasn’t the alphas Seungmin hated, maybe it was society. Maybe it was the puzzle piece in a big picture the world wants to cram him into because of his subgender. It’s stupid, the roles and the positions the world feels like every person has, simply because of something that has nothing to do with their ambitions and potential.

If you're an alpha, you’ve gotta be tough. Because you're the backbone of society. You're everybody’s greatest protector because 

your everybody’s greatest fear. You're on the higher side of a societal spectrum, where you're held to unrealistic tandards and expected to always be the bigger person. Physically, financially, internally, all of it. Positively suffocating.

If your a beta, your expected to be obedient and neutral, although dominant so your someone omegas can lean on. But that’s all you are. Neutral, and somebody to lean on. You're not treated as more, or less, you're simply treated like you don’t matter. 

Though you have the duel talent of bearing children as well as swelling a knot, you have no control over whether you get a heat or a rut every 3 months. Your just a fall back when omegas and alphas aren’t cutting it. But your always the follow up, probably because betas have a higher non fertility and miscarriage rate than both alphas and omegas put together. You're twice as incompetent, and twice as unimportant. 

Omegas, don’t even get Seungmin started. You're just less. Less important, less smart, less worthy, and generally more of a weapon. Breeding weapon, domestic abuse weapon, use you for your ideas  only to drop you on the side of the road weapon. All things that would chalk up to: submissive and shut the fuck up. Don’t speak, don’t talk, be quiet and open your legs. To them, that’s all omegas are good for.

But Seungmin knows that he’s a human before he is an omega. He’s a person before he’s a womb. So he’s always made it his mission to think ‘substance before subgender’ which basically means to understand a persons characters before caring about if someone is an alpha, beta, or omega. Because the world is fucked up. And as they say, be the change. 

But, Suengmin thinks, Felix is different. Lee Yongbok. Seungmin’s best friends roommate. Felix, he goes against every stereotype in the book. He’s small in frame and height. He’s overly cheerful, kind, and a social butterfly. Hi smile lights up rooms in a fashion that puts the morning sun ray to shame. Not to mention, he resembles a female omega more than anything, in all honesty. 

He’s also on the school's cheer team, and a culinary major. All things you’d never expect an alpha to be. Law, music production, literature, football, those are majors alpha’s usually go for. But not Felix, he’s got a passion for cheer and baking sweet pastries. Seungmin thinks it’s unique, thinks it unheard of and extraordinary, just like himself being a law major in a class mostly full of alphas. 

Seungmin has never been one for cliche love stories, the swooning, the twinkling eyes or blushy cheeks, but he can’t lie and say his face doesn’t get a little red when the small alpha is near. His heart rocks in his chest like it’s on water, but it feels more like the beautiful sunset over a rocky ocean rather than the storm itself. 

It’s simple to see what it is. Seungmin has a crush. As comforting as it is, as silently joy filled and pleasant, Seungmin feels like he’s going to hurl everytime Felix comes near. It seems like when he’s pining from a distance, there’s fancy floral filtering his vision, romantic music playing in the background and angels getting their wings when the alpha smiles. 

But when Felix looks his way, or walks in his direction, or even turns towards his general space of occupancy, everything flashes red, and loud obnoxious sirens sound in aggressive long rings in  his head. Though they hang with the same general group of friends, Seungmin hasn’t so much as said 2 words to the other student. 

It’s quite embarrassing actually. But what can Seungmin say? Again. He has a crush. And he came to terms with it long ago. The fumbling and hiding around corners is pathetic, and so so overheard of, but he can’t help it. It’s hard to process when you have your idea of perfection a few feet away from, manifested in the physical. And when someone so wonderfully different commands your attention.

In more ways than one, Seungmin’s ashamed. He’s never cared so much about somebody else’s opinion before. Suddenly gaining awareness that someone you admire has full capability to hate you for any reason is nerve racking. 

It’s easy for him to brush the opinions of strangers and the public off his shoulders, because how does it affect him? It doesnt hurt him physically, and he has free will to do what he wants when, where and how he pleases. 

But when it comes to Felix, he doesn’t. He freezes, he stutters, he stops breathing and sometimes even drools unwillingly when watching his almost effortlessly hold an alpha cheerleader on his shoulders in practice. 

It’s like mind control. And it’s scary. Scary to care so much about what another person thinks, scary to be so attached to someone you’ve never even had a proper conversation with. Scary to want someone so much and be so completely incapable of doing anything about it. 

This vulnerable feeling of affection leads us to Seungmin’s current assortment, him sitting in his dorm room with Hyunjin, his roommate, and Jisung, his best friend who rooms with Felix. Where they’ve roped him into yet another conversation about his suffocating crush on a certain blonde. By conversation, I mean a long overplayed teasing session where he’s made fun of for being a pondering loser, triggered by Seungmin’s repetitive and problematic habit of asking Jisung what Felix was doing before he left their shared dorm. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know. Our master yearner.” Jisung prods, gummy smile already efficiently drawn out at the idea of fucking with innocent Seungmin. Who is obviously never anything but a sweetheart to the beta. “Fuck off. Are you going to tell me or not.” He dead pins, ignoring a giggling hyunjin as he hops off his bed. Already knowing the human kiwi is about to come harass him in the comfort of his own bed. 

“How about you stop being a loser and go ask him yourself, chump!” Jisung says unnecessarily loud, reaching across the bed into Seungmin’s personal space, pinching his right boob. Seungmin makes a face of violation, covering his chest and bracing himself as Hyunjin tosses himself on the tiny twin xl, right on top of Seungmin. 

Thankfully Jisung snatches the book the youngest boy was reading out of the line of fire before Hyunjin lands, Seungmin makes loud sounds of protest as the oldest borderline assaults him, his usual case of cuteness aggression and clinginess triggered by absolutely nothing. 

“Seungmin-ah! You're so cute when you're pouting about Lixie. I would probably be jealous he got all of your attention if I wasn’t so aware of your hopelessness.” Hyunjin says, hands on the younger boys face. Seungmin groans and slaps his hands away with little attempt to actually get the other off of him. 

Hyunjin turns over on top of him, annoyingly draping of the poor law student with his long legs flailing around carelessly, Jisung narrowly dodging a foot to the face. A scheming look passes the shorter betas features, right before je chooses violence and takes one of the flailing limbs, locking it between his body and arm before tickling Hyunjin’s foot. 

Hyunjin thrashes wildly, yelling like a madman as Jisung puts all his effort into dodging his other foot and keeping the one he has in his hold locked down. Seungmin suppresses a smile at the pairs antics, never with tranquility when they’re all in the same room. “Shut up! We’re going to get another noise complaint.” Seungmin chastises, trying to see Jisung past Hyunjin’s bulky figure on top of him, making sure he never knows peace as long as the two know where he sleeps.

Eventually, totally not with Seungmins help, the two tumble off the bed and hit the ground with a thud, pulling a fit of laughter from Seungmin. He giggles in his ha ha ha manner as the two blame each other for their fall, arguing about who started what before at some point they mutually agree to blame Seungmin, and use their superior strength to pull him to the ground by his wrist and ankle.

 They catch him as he hits the ground, holding him hostage so he can’t leave them, and with the joy filled smell of Cherries and Coconut enveloping his cinnamon he can't suppress his smile, fight leaving his body as he lets the two lock him between them. 

“You two are annoying! Stop it.” He slaps Hyunjin’s arm as he tries to grab at his chest, even with the upper half of his body in his lap facing Jisung he knows he’s pouting. “Just tell me what my girlfriend was doing before you left, I don’t have time to be wrestling with you two and your homoerotic banter.” Seungmin spits, no fire residing within his words. He’s in his favorite spot after all, held down between strong men. 

“Yes you do. Matter fact I would dare say you would never want to be anywhere else. Ever. Because you love us.” Jisung points out, partly accurate. Seungmin would never let them know that though. “That statement would be more true if I was in a hole 6 feet under, thanks. You two are annoying.” He denies, though his legs are hanging on Jisungs hips over his lap and his arms are resting on top hyunjins which are engulfed over his chest and shoulders. 

“So I guess you don’t want to know what Lixie was up to then. Bummer.” Jisung prudes, looking around the room in feigned disinterest, also avoiding the pout Seungmin was undoubtedly sporting. The youngest shoves his toes into Jisung’s stomach, the other immediately caving and laughing as he grabs the blondes foot. “That’s not funny. Tell me what my girlfriend was doing!”

“Okay okay! Stop it! He was getting ready for cheer practice!” Jisung confesses as his other foot grinds in his friends stomach, soon being grabbed by the free hand that isn’t holding the first one. Seungmin blinks, perplexed by the others' words. “On a Sunday?” He ask’s, lost.

Seungmin accidentally on purposely memorized Felix’s schedule last year, with the help of his guilty friends, which means he knows for a fact that the cheer team only has practice Monday through Friday. So imagine his surprise when he hears the alpha’s getting ready for practice on days he usually reserves for personal fun and relaxation. 

Jisung shrugs, seemingly  just as unsure as Seungmin is on the matter. The blonde sits up out of their holds, sitting between the two boys and looking back and forth from one to the other every few seconds.  A beat of silence passes, where Seungmin stares openly at them both with a stoic yet hopeful look of neutral plea. Puppy eyes on display as he silently attempts to coerce his friends to do his bidding. 

“No.” Hyunjin and Jisung say in unison, identical in their attempts to keep Seungmin from greatness, per usual. Seungmin pretends to pout for a moment, shrinking into himself as he silently guilt trips his closest friends to give him what he wants.

Hyunjin caves first, grabbing the blonde by his head and pulling him into himself, whining at how cute Seungmin is in a high pitch and violently rubbing his hands over his face and through his hair. Seungmin closes his eyes and endures with little fight, they are putting up with his bad case of  a boy crush, he supposes letting his Hyung get his attacks out is the least he can do. 

Jisung feigns annoyance, whining about how people are going to think their stalkers if they keep up their shenanigans, but Seungmin sees him eyeing the floor of the dorm around them, looking for his shoes and phone. That’s when Seungmin knows he’s won. 

-`✮´-

Today’s practice is being held on the football field. Which isn’t uncommon, but still less seen than practices being held in the gym. Seungmin let’s Jisung lead the way across campus, through the parking lot, off of dorm grounds, to the school and finally into the football field. 

Mostly because for the sake of helping Seungmin keep his pathetic crush a secret, he tells Felix they come to his practices upon his request. And to get out of the dorm. The latter more true than the former. 

They chat endlessly the whole way there, talking about everything and nothing. Hyunjin mentions Felix had asked him if he wanted to join the team this season, but that he declined because of the extra dance practices and workouts he does with Minho and Binne. 

It’s late winter and early spring, the trees are regaining their color and it’s a lucky Sunday so early into the season since it’s a solid 66 degrees outside. The cheerleaders from last semester are all on the field stretching, and in the bleachers there's… more people than usual. 

The three look around at each other in confusion as they draw closer to the squads spot of occupancy in the field. Then, like the gears of a clock, something clicks into place in all three of their heads and dings, loudly. 

“Fuck.” Hyunjin speaks first. “Cheer tryouts.” Jisung and Seungmin say in unison. “No wonder they were gathered on a Saturday. It’s not practice, it's tryouts!” Jisung concluded, gesturing at the group of potential cheerleaders in the bleachers, all doing different variations of stretches and warmups. 

“Are we even allowed to be here during tryouts? I know we are during practice but do you think we’ll be in the way while they're picking their new athletes?” Hyunjin questions, contemplating. As much as Seungmin wants to sit down and say fuck it, it’s a valid question. And he wouldn’t want to cause disruption in Felix’s auditions.

But still, Seungmin is just a boy. He’s also a boy who likes a boy, though it’s more a case of occasional blubbering than it is love. Yet he can’t bring himself to walk away. To just leave and see the boy he fancy’s at another time and place. Somethings keeping him pinned in position. 

“Maybe we’ll just stay a little bit, if Bokkie wants us to leave, we can, but for now let’s-” 

“Why would I want that?” 

Seungmin goes silent, body freezing over as a familiar deep voice interrupts his thoughts of consideration. He hears Jisung and Hyunjin shift next to him, probably turning to look at their friend who’s seemingly just spawned out of nowhere. “Yongbokk!” “Hi Lix!” they greet, like any normal person would. 

Seungmin can’t breath, he’s scared and vulnerable and he thinks he might be sweating more than Hyunjin during dance practice when he hears that voice peak again. At the same time said dancer and Jisung work together with their superior strength to turn Seungmin around and face the cheer captain, who’s wearing sweatpants and a sleeveless hood that makes his brain and stomach pirouette. 

“Bokkie huh? That’s so cute. Is that me?” Felix smiles like an angel, directly at Seungmin, and the poor law student can’t trust himself with words, so he nods without really understanding the question. Mind too frizzy from uselessly focusing on the way the sunlight hits the cheer captain's freckles and lashes. 

“Morning guys. What are you doing out here so early? There’s no practice today.” Felix points out, looking between the three of them. Suengmin doesn't trust himself to try and talk, neither do his friends apparently because they answer Lix’s questions like this is rehearsed. Sparing Seungmin the embarrassment of tripping over his words, instead settling for staring at Felix in awe of his beauty. 

“Yeahhh! It isn’t practice is it? It’s tryouts.. We totally knew that. Haha.” hyunjin replies awkwardly, and Seungmin doesn't know if Felix is convinced, because he certainly wouldn't be. Plus, Felix raises a suspicious brow at them, crossing his arms and leaning into his hip. 

“So, why’d you come then? You and Sung already told me you couldn't join.” Felix wonders, eyes suddenly darting to a very constipated looking Seungmin before his face lights up and his body language changes from disbelief to excitement. 

“Wait! Sung said you were ice skating from elementary to highschool.. Does that mean-” Felix trails off to say something, but Seungmin doesn't hear him because he’s so busy turning to Jisung with a look of betrayal. Jisung avoids eye contact, playing with his fingers as he purses his lips in a poor attempt to conceal his guilt.

Seungmin’s glare is taken off of the other boy only when smaller hands slot into his, and Felix is saying something while jumping in excitement. He’s so immersed in the feeling of strong tiny hands holding his, and the scent of marshmallows engulfing him, he wants to give in and submit, give the sweet alpha whatever he wants.

“Mhmhmh yes I did!” He cheers back, partly to tell Felix he’s right about the fact that he used to be a ice skater, and partly to give in and make the alpha happy with whatever  little awareness of his situation he has. It works, because Felix only jumps higher, smile growing wider to a stretch that Seungmin wasn't even aware was possible. But it doesn't matter, because happiness has always looked good on Felix. 

“Oh my gosh! I’m so excited I can’t believe you're trying out for the cheer team!” Suengmin barely hears it, but when it clicks, suddenly the melting of Seungmins body in Felix’s hold is gone. And the law student is startled stiff. Cheer?! Law student Kim Seungmin in cheer?? 

Seungmin wants to correct him, but between his twisted tongue from his inarticulate speech when it comes to the alpha, and Felix’s excited rambling, he can’t get a word in. Next thing he knows, Felix is telling him he knows how shy he is and that he can tryout privately after everybody else, and to make sure he’s warmed up so he doesnt hurt himself, then running off towards the group and cheerleaders on the field. 

The three of them turn and watch as Felix’s frame retreats towards the bed of college students, silent until the music starts playing and the auditioning crowd is called from the bleachers to get into position. Seungmin is the first to speak.

“What just happened.” he ask’s, a plea for enlightenment, although he’s not really sure if realistically, he wants to be conscious of it. “Dude. I think you just accidentally joined the cheer team.” Hyunjin answers, turning in sync to look at Jisung, who’s as shocked as Seungmin is. 

At some point, while Seungmin is contemplating what events in his life lead up to this moment, Hyunjin and Jisung both burst into laughter, leaning against each other and shaking the youngest with their antics. 

Seungmin can’t find it in him to be mad, too busy having a heart attack in silence while staring at Felix’s figure rounding up the athletes on the field. “Way to go Seung, you’ve got such a helpless boycrush on Lix that you accidentally told him you were going to try out for a sport you have no interest in.” Hyunjin slaps his shoulder.

Seungmin isn’t angry, he’s to thrown off to be. But he is having a small panic attack, right beneath the surface, while his friends are laughing at him and his crush has high hopes for him. He can’t sit here and listen to them mocking him, it’s scary. Everything at the moment, is just scaring Seungmin. 

So quickly, and with a look of puzzle and disbelief on his face, he runs. He hears Hyunjin and Jisung call out from behind him in confusion, though they don’t move for long enough to give Seungmin just enough of a headstart for his getaway. He turns a corner and gets them off his tail so they  can’t follow him. Then quickly enters the closest gym building, mostly empty due to it being early morning during the weekend. 

In the building, you can hear the different noises of recreation happening in different areas. Tryouts for other sports, no doubt. Seungmin enters the smaller gym, silent and empty, much to the mercy of Seungmins quickly beating heart. 

The law student walks deeper into the gymnasium, straight into the center of the basketball court where he allows himself to collapse and lay on his back, staring up at the structured ceiling of the setting around him.

Upon feeling the cold ground on his scalp and back, away from the crowd and his cackling friends. Seungmin allows himself to do something he hadn’t been able to since Felix had showed up that morning. 

He breaths. Long and deep. Fast and slow. Expanding and eye opening, taking his time to process completely what had just happened on the football field, and finally, much to his own neglected satisfaction, relax. 

“Ok.” he says out loud to himself, into the open of the gymnasium. “So the cheer team, huh Kim.” 

Seungmin doesn't remember when or  how Felix had asked him if he wanted to try out for the cheer team. So he racks his brain, replaying the interaction he’d just had with the other boy outside moments ago. The last moment he can remember not acting like a fucking moron with a bad case of the hots was right before Felix’s deep voice cut through his peaceful reality. 

‘Why would I want that?’ he had asked them, a response to when Seungmin had considered that he might not want them there if they were trying out. Reasonable if you ask Seungmin, they could just be getting in the way, especially since the plan had never been to try out.

Seungmin guesses that's what he gets for being such a fan all the time, eager to breath the same air as the alpha whenever he had the opportunity. If he would have just spent his morning in the dorm or at a cafe with his friends like a normal person, maybe he wouldn't be contemplating so hard on his karma right now. 

After his introduction, Felix had seemed surprised to see them, which was reasonable considering the fact that what Felix had been getting ready for hadn't been practice. And tryouts hadn't been a factor Seungmin considered, despite the posters up around the walls of the college he’d paid no mind to.

It also goes without saying that Jisung and Hyunjin should have known today was tryouts, Jisung is Felix’s roommate, and Jisung tells Hyunjin everything. Not to mention Felix knows both of their majors and schedules, so cheer was off the table for them long before today. 

But Jisung and Hyunjin are unreliable idiots, and Jisung had told Felix he was an ice skater, so clearly, the logical conclusion anybody would come to is that Seungmin was in fact there to try out. And Seungmin, with his own erratic bouts of logical loss, said yes without thinking. When all it took from the beginning was a measly shake of his head to clear up the confusion. 

But Felix had been so excited about the prospect of him auditioning. Seungmin thinks now, with a clear head, that he wouldn’t have been able to say no to that face anyways. And that he was in fact hopeless from the moment he felt his heart skip a beat when he’d met the tiny alpha all those months ago. 

Ugh. Stupid crush sick Seungmin. This soft spot stuff, he thinks, is not for the weak. It’s a dangerous ball game.

Seungmin isn’t sure how long he lays there, in the middle of the gymnasium sprawled out on the floor. But it feels nice. The quiet, the lights that have gone off around him because he hasn’t moved an inch in god knows how long, the silence after the storm. 

But he must have been there for a while, because soon enough, he hears the door to the gymnasium open, and footsteps approach him, growing louder as they get closer. 

Seungmins first thought is that Hyunjin or Jisung have finally found him, quiet because they feel bad about how he ran off after Lix left them. Serves them right for laughing at him, he supposes. 

But then the personality of the two boys he's thinking about really processes. And he realizes, Han Jisung and Hwang Hyunjin are never quiet. Especially when they're near Seungmin, or each other for that matter. It’s like they quite literally don’t know how to shut the hell up. 

By time this registers, Seungmin doesn't have time to think of an excuse to give a wondering student or a staff member, which is a good thing, because the little blonde head that pops into his view belongs to neither.

Seugnmin sit’s up in haste. He looks at Felix with wide eyes, like he sees his life flashing before them, staring at the alpha with anxiety forcing it’s way into his body like the plague.

“Fuck.” He whispers to himself, eyes not leaving the others face. 

“Hello.” Felix says, deep voice falling out from his lips in a casual manner, as if it doesn’t  make Seungmin leak slick in the middle of the gymnasium, like he’s a community hole or something. Thank god for his level 5 suppressants and gland patches that cover his neck for extra protection. 

His cinnamon tends to keep the alphas in his law classes too close, and Seungmin only wants attention from one alpha. 

Not trusting himself to speak, Seungmin looks anywhere but at Felix, bowing as well as he can in his sitting position on the ground. Felix looks a bit sheepish, hands shoved in his pockets with his shoulders up to his ears. He looks like he’s trying not to scare a stray puppy, which at the moment doesn't seem too far from the reality of their alone time. 

The alpha takes a few steps closer, marshmallows enveloping Seungmin’s being and making him visibly relax, much to his own embarrassment. Felix doesn't mention it, but he seems pleased at the others state of tranquility, if his body language has anything to say about it. 

“You’ve been in here for a while. Tryouts are over with.” Felix states, squatting down when he gets closer to the omega, who is now openly staring at him. Seungmin thinks his girlfriend gets prettier every time they see each other. Whether that happens to be in the morning sunlight, or the dim lights of an empty gym. 

He still says nothing, more focused on Lix’s face, and trying not to detonate with their current proximity and solitude. “I told you that I’d let you audition after everyone else. Since I know you're shy.” Felix laughs, turning his head to try and peer at Seungmin’s averting eyes.

“Tryouts ended a few minutes ago. Did you stretch?” His smile never falters, even after Seungmin gives him a small shake of his head. “Well. No time like the present.” He tells him as he stands, positioning himself in front of Seungmin and putting his hands out for him to take. 

Seungmins is taken aback by the direct kindness, though he shouldn't be. He knows full and well who he’s talking to, his stomach swooping, and his heart lurching at the reminder. So in a conscious effort to try and redeem the harm he’s done to his ego, he wills himself to stop gaping, and places his shaky hands in Felix’s. 

The alpha tugs him to his feet, with little effort, Seungmin notes. And he thinks he loves it, how he’d just been handled, and how their difference in height makes a great facade in indicating their strengths comparison to one another. 

“Arms up into the air, Minnie.” Felix directs, doing the stretch himself as an example. Seungmin tries and fails to suppress a smile at the nickname, stomach and heart tumbling together in unison as he thrusts his arms up in the air, reaching towards the sky. Or  in the case of the gymnasium, the ceiling. 

He’s coached through multiple other stretches, which do good at relaxing Seungmins limbs and body. Seungmin also has him shake it out after, it’s nice, granted things are only this easy when Seungmin focuses on his breathing and keeps his mouth shut, but even when he’s a fumbling mess, Felix is his favorite place to be. 

“Okay!” The alpha claps, sound echoing through the gymnasium. “First, flexibility. I bet they made you do a lot of dieting and painful stretches to have you ready for the ice. Must've been hard. But was it at least fun?” Felix looks hopeful, as if knowing Seungmin used to suffer would put a dent in his own happiness. 

The omega thinks back to his practices, gym sessions, training and routine learning, focusing less on the pain of perfecting a sport that couldn't even get him into college and more on the positive aspects of it all. 

The dinners with his coaches and friends he made at the rink, the many medals and trophies he’d won as a youngster. All in all, it was fun. And it kept him busy. That’s what he really liked about it. The honing of a complicated skill and hobby he could put effort into after he’d ran out of luck with baseball. 

So he nods, a small smile appearing on his face while thinking about his history with the sport on water. And it’s not a lie, he means it. The sport represents a very significant part of his life, and Seungmin thinks it has a lot to do with how he’s turned out today.

“Oh. A smile! How pretty.” Felix compliments, teasing smile complimenting his freckles. All Seungmin can do is turn red and allow the pride to swell in his chest, since he was currently holding his leg up to his chest in the air, and trying his best to focus on balancing, succeeding albeit barely. 

“Drop it.” Felix tells him, arms crossed over his chest as he directs Seungmin to try different exercises and stunts. Toe touches, high kicks, occasionally a dance move. He walks circles into the ground as he surrounds him, monitoring the younger boys posture and flexibility. For some reason, Seungmin feels like prey. 

It goes without being said that Seungmin could just purposely fail the audition, or tell Felix he didn’t intend to try out. But Seungmin is a weak, weak adult boy, and to make matters worse, a boy with a crush. 

So he does the tricks, he does the stunts, he does the moves. Because he can’t bear to hurt the captain and tell him he never meant to audition. Because he wants to impress him. Because he likes him.

“You're really qualified, but for someone who regularly made choreography, and danced on slippery ice a majority of their life, you need to work on your rhythm. But I guess dancing like liquid on ice and catching a beat on land is different huh?”

Seungmins pride and confidence take a blow with those words. Most unfortunately for Seungmin, Felix’s opinion means a lot. So being told he has no tempo makes him a bit sad. As well as a little more determined. 

“Can you do the splits?” Felix asks, stopping his circling to give Seungmin the necessary space. He gives it a moment of consideration. Seungmin still regularly did his stretches from his ice skating days, just to keep his body loose when he’s doing more academics than activity. 

He used to do sit down activities while in the splits, but since he got to college when he was 18, he’s lost that habit. He’s still pretty flexible, though less fluently. So it’s hard to tell, no better way to find out than to try. 

Seungmin means to drop into it slowly to see how far he can go, and make sure not to hurt himself. But he positions his foot wrong, so his heel hooks on the lower piece of his sweatpants, and he slips straight down onto the floor, until his crotch makes contact with the ground. 

He almost startles himself with how quickly he goes down, planting his hands on the floor next to his hips on the ground. Felix is clapping in front of him, seemingly impressed. “What about sideways?”

Seungmin shifts in his position, picking his weight up off the ground just a hair bit to change the way his legs and body are laying on the floor so he’s in a straddle. Felix makes a sound of delight, nodding as he looks over Seungmin’s form and posture yet again. 

Seungmin moves his legs forward from his sides so he’s sitting, Felix again helps him from the ground, smiling prettily at him. When he’s to his feet, the other doesn’t let go, swinging their arms together in a cheerful manner. 

“You're more than capable of being on the team Seungminnie. Why are you just now deciding to join? We could have been doing competitions and games together for the past 2 years.” Felix pouts, Seungmins heart squeezing at the expression. 

Seungmin tries his voice, taking a chance for the first time to speak back to his crush, desperately hoping he won’t do something stupid like confess to being obsessed with him, or stuttering god forbid.

“Well.” Seungmin starts, withholding a wince from how vulnerable and quiet his voice sounds. So different from his usual deadpan tone. “I’m here now. Right?” He ask’s, shoulders rising to his ears in a humiliatingly abashed way. 

Felix beams, nodding like Seungmin has said the most agreeable thing in the world. He does an excited little jump, before tugging Seungmin into an embrace by his wrists, catching the taller boy's figure with his hands around the waist when his weight rocks forward from the pull.

Seungmins heart hammers in his chest, from the hug, from the alphas tiny hands holding his waist and back, from the warmth of Felix’s hard body against his soft one. It’s all so overwhelming, yet so comforting at the same time. 

He brings his own arms up, resting them on Felix’s shoulders for the moments filled with the connection of their body’s, and he almost whines when Felix pulls away. Tiny hands rub up and down both his arms in a comforting manner when the small alpha looks him in his eyes as he says his next words.

“I would love to have you on the team, Seungminnie. Will you join?” Felix asks, a pleading look on his freckled tan face. Seungmin couldn't deny the alpha if he wanted to. So every escape plan he’s considered since the football field floods from his brain, and he melts in Felix’s hand, sighing as he gives the other a few shaky nods. 

“Yes?” Felix ask’s, teasing again, clearly trying to draw out Seungmins verbal words once more. Furthermore, Seungmin is weak. And he has a crush. So he gives in. “Yes, Lix. I’ll join the team.” 

Felix does a couple more happy hops, like he doesn’t know what to do with his excitement. Seungmin laughs gleefully, he can’t help it. His girlfriend is the cutest. 

“Wait.” The blonde frowns. “What happened to Bokkie?” He pouts, tilting his head in a cat like manner. Seungmin sighs, because all this Yongbok on his body and in his face is bad for his heart, and his skin burns where the other is still holding his hands by the wrists. 

Marshmallows suddenly give off disappointment, and Seungmin has to say something. That can’t be. Marshmallows are sweet for a reason. Not meant to be negative. “Ok ok. Bokkie. I’ll..” He chokes only for a second, withholding his sentence to stop himself from walking straight into a forest of stuttered words and panicking for his crushes approval.

“I’ll join the team.” He finishes, thankfully without a hitch. “You weren’t supposed to hear that!” He ads, giving a pout of his own, turning his head away from the other. Felix gives him a chuckle, deep and sexy, it makes Seungmins hole flutter, embarrassingly enough. 

 “Ok. Okay!” The captain looks over at the wall, catching a glimpse of the clock hanging from it. He stiffens only for a brief moment, before he rubs his little thumbs over the backs  of Seungmins giant paws in a comforting fashion, abruptly dropping them and running past the omega, across the gym towards the duffle bag he must have put down when he came in. 

 “I’m kind of late for lunch with one of my hyung’s!” He explains as he jogs and skips closer to the exit of the room in a flurry. He almost looks like he feels bad as he goes, but Seungmin is too drunk on the smell of Felix’s scent to trip over it  too much. 

“Sorry to run out on you, but he’s kind of an ass so he bitch’s about me being on time. Practice is Monday through Friday every week in this gym! I’m glad you decided to join m- us! Bye Minnie!” he rushes and waves as he barges out of the double doors.

Seungmin simply waves back, dazed and more relaxed than he’s been sense the last time he was scented. He’s never been a fan of super sweet smells, but Felix’s does something to him. Felix himself, does something to him. Whether it’s his scent, or his smile, or just the thought of him. Seungmin is irrevocably crushing, hard.

Chapter Text

“Okay. So how do you plan on balancing cheer with law?”

It’s a valid question. Seungmin’s not sure himself though. For this very reason, he planned to go to a cafe by himself to figure out exactly what he was going to do to make it out of this situation with all his wits intact. That was until Hyunjin and Jisung used his location to track him down and crash his alone time.

Now, they sit all together at a booth at a cafe, the other two boys on one side and Seungmin on the other. They’ve got peculiar, twinning looks on their faces that scream nosey confliction, and it’s sort of pissing Seungmin off.

“I don’t know, I just said that, Jisung. Most of my time is spent studying law. It’s not easy either. I’m supposed to balance that with cheer practices, games, AND competitions?” Seungmins head falls in his hands, his stress eating him alive.

He hasn’t even started practices yet, and it seems he’s already overwhelmed. How in the hell was he supposed to balance two things that individually require focus and commitment? It’s like trying to give 50% of your attention to driving and the other 50 to texting. It doesn’t work. And if you try, people get hurt. That’s exactly why it’s illegal.

“Wait, didn’t you do that the entire time you were in ice skating? Being a student and an athlete?” Jisung piped in. “Everybody on that team does that. Hell, you two do it. Student + athlete isn’t the problem Sungie. Its athlete + the specific major I’m in.”

“Here, I’ll put it like this.” Seungmin gives it a moment of thought, desperately working his mind to dumb down his explanation to his lovely yet smooth brained friends. “There’s a lot of laws, ok? It takes 7 years to get both your bachelors and extra school complete before anybody takes you seriously enough to find a job as a lawyer.”

“It’s a lot of time and commitment, so as you can imagine, it takes up most of my hours. More than other majors.” He explains, breaking it into smaller pieces as best he could for his two dull minded friends.

Both the boys looks of bewilderment break at the same time, and they make sounds of understanding before relaxing and giving their newly processed information some thought. Hyunjin speaks first. “Why are you a law major anyways? You always loved fashion and song writing in highschool. It’s weird.” He ask’s as he plays with his straw, suddenly curious.

“We’re in our second year now Hyunnie, it’s not kind of late to be asking that?” Seungmin responds, sipping from his milkshake. Though Hyunjin gives him a look that dismisses the thought, which tells Seungmin he will continue to wait for an answer.

“Fashion and creation classes are chopped full of stereotypical omegas who are average and everyday. I refuse to be like that. It’s lame, and.. basic. I want to be more than that..” Seungmin trails off, playing with his own straw.

“So you're becoming a boring lawyer to prove a point?” Jisung questions. Seungmin glances at the two, who are looking at him with expressions he doesn't want to name, or confront. It sounds stupid now that he digs up the reason and says it out loud. And suddenly Seungmin feels vulnerable, he hates it. He wants to crawl under the table and sit there until everyone disappears.

“Why does it matter?” He settles for changing the subject. “We were talking about my schedule, not my poor life decisions.”
“Isn’t this one of your poor life decisions?” Jisung quickly interjects. Seungmin simply stares at him, suddenly irritated. “Your existence was a poor life decision.” He dead pans, Jisung puts his hands up in a motion of surrender, whining in offense.

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Monday rolls around. It’s early morning, and oddly enough his classes are cancelled for the day. He has no workout clothes, but based on the attire of the team he assumes anything black and movable will work, as well as any school merch.

After a shower and morning routine he heads to a couple stores in search of something to wear to practice. Felix on a regular occasion acts like he’s allergic to shirts with sleeves, and the others act like they are just allergic to shirts period. It doesn’t mean Seungmin has to do the same.

Seungmin has an omegan chest, clearly, that's a given. But it’s not like he’s pregnant, so their not that big, but they’re noticeable if he wears anything too tight. Attention will be drawn. But he only wants attention from one alpha, so tight crops are a no.

Shorts are a definite no, Seungmin loves his legs, but he’s not a fan of too much skin being shown. Felix often wears sweatpants himself with his sleeveless tops. The omega briefly wonders if that sort of look will work for him as well, though instead of Felix’s cheer muscle people will be seeing his soft slender arms.

He could also just get sports merchandise from the school, but as Hyunjin had mentioned before, Seungmins got a nack for designing. And school merchandise is quite frankly very.. Ugly. To put it simply.

Though classes and his part time job take up most of Seungmins time and attention.. He still owns a sewing machine. For some reason, he just couldn't leave it at home, or leave it alone for that matter.

Every chance he gets he finds himself making a shirt. Or taking Jisung and Hyunjins measurements again since they tend to lose and gain muscle constantly, to make them another original article of clothing.

He’s drawn to his designing. And though Seungmins' boring law books and unsatisfactory studying needs his attention most days, he always finds his way back to his sewing machine, or his sketchbook.

The attachment to having his sketchbook on him 24/7 is a habit he gained thanks to Hyunjin’s influence. The older boy was an art and dance major, he taught Seungmin how to make his outfit sketches more realistic and since then Seungmin sketches as soon as he thinks of an idea like clockwork.

Having his full sketchbook with him became a hastel, so for his birthday last year, his friends had gifted him a smaller one that fits in his pocket. As well as a slightly larger one that fit in his ‘purse’ as his two idiots call it.

As Seungmin had begrudgingly corrected them multiple times, it’s not a purse, it’s a tote. And even if it was, purses as well as totes are a very useful sources of storage, and as someone with lots of inventory on occasion, it proves a very fashionable form of carry.

Only after Seungmins returned to his dorm and changed into his new clothes does he evaluate himself in the mirror. He chose to go with some shorts and a t shirt, despite his earlier, this taste. As previously mentioned he’s not a fan of showing skin, but it’s what the rest of the team wears, as a collection, so it seemed the best at the moment.

Now that he’s in his bedroom, shorts hugging his thighs and chest very much plush and plump in his top, he wants to reconsider.

“Hot as fuck. Go get em tiger!” Jisung cheers from his spot, Hyunjin laughing from where he’s cuddling with the other right next to him, in Seungmin’s nest beneath his bed. He quarks an eyebrow at the two in his mirror, while leaning to grab Hyunjin’s cropped jacket that's hanging off the wall.

Thank god their college provides super high above the floor beds, mostly for nests as well as desk and study areas in the dorms. Although Jisung and Felix use it instead as a gaming area for late night entertainment.

Usually he’d complain about the two infiltrating his space, his most sacred space at that, but he likes when his blankets and articles of clothing soak up coconuts and cherries, not to mention him wearing Jisung’s Nikes and Hyunjin’s jacket. Fair trade, he supposes.

“I don’t know what to bring. Should I pack similar to how I did when I was ice skating?” Seungmin questions as he turns around, peeking beneath the blanket hanging from his bed to look at the two.

Seungmins got a very particular nest, convenient in many ways, but not your typical Omegan resting area. In short, it’s a cage. The ones meant for huge dogs. Which is why his two friends can comfortably fit inside of it, as well as move it to a rented heat room for him when the time comes.

“Um. I guess? Sports are sports. Water bottle, uh.. what else do you need for sports?” Jisung asks, looking at Hyunjin for assistance. “Personally I bring a water bottle, hoodie, hair tye, which I clearly no longer need. Uh- Gum, and speaker? That’s it I think. Oh! Snacks too!” Hyunjin provides.

“I mean what else could you need except a water bottle?” Adds Jisung, just as he and Hyunjin look over at Seungmin to see him shoving bug spray and pain meds into one of his many many tote bags. Alongside his keys and one of his smaller sketch pads.

The pair laugh, not the least bit surprised at the younger boys antics. “But for Mr always prepared, I guess it doesn’t ever hurt to have an inventory.” Jisung giggles, in sync with Hyunjin. Seungmin pouts, but it doesn’t stop him from sliding gum and a few more of his every day items into his bag with the rest of his things.

Later, he bids his two idiot friends good bye, as they whistle and cat call at his unusual choice of naked thighs and arms, telling him not to do nasty things like fuck or present for his first day on the team.

Seungmin carelessly slips the jacket on over his tote, a cute leather bag that hangs over his shoulder, all burgundy. Though Seungmin cant stand plain solid leather bags, so he added his own pizzazz by sewing ribbons and seashells on it. Though it doesn’t clash well with the schools official colors of blue and black, it clashes with Seungmin. And that’s all that matters.

When Seungmin is walking to practice, uncharacteristically calm, a song he favors comes on and pours into his headphones. Nonsense, by Sabrina Carpenter. He listens, humming to the lyrics as he walks.

As someone who wanted to be a designer before a lawyer, Seungmin has an active imagination. It’s a blessing and a curse, a blessing for accurately being able to picture things. That’s useful.

A curse because when the words “you said you like my eyes and like to make them roll” are heard, Seungmin’s mind aids him a very inconvenient image of him being bent over a counter with a particularly familiar head of blonde hair pressed to his back behind him, eyes in fact rolling back.

The image startles Seungmin, surprising himself with his own flash of pornographic imagery, so much he thinks for a second that somebody’s hacked into his head and placed the image there. He stops walking, standing in the middle of the sidewalk blinking into space with utter shame.

He’s not a particularly perverted person, unlike the circle of freaks that surround him, he’s very mannered. And he can keep his hands off his friends curves, when he wants to.

So thoughts like these are rare, though not unheard of. Yet they always manage to waterboard him, and they usually only come when he’s near Felix. Or having a wet dream. But he supposes when suggestive lyrics appear it can’t be helped. He’s in deep after all.

He forces himself to keep walking, trying not to let his sudden arousal conjure slick. He knows if he gives it a reason to, it will definitely leak out. And Felix is good for his sense of smell. Maybe if he’s fortunate, the scent of sweaty cheerleaders will drown it out if it happened.

When Seungmin arrives to practice, shamelessly early, nobody else has made it yet as far as he can tell. There’s music playing on the speakers of the gym, but 30 minutes before practice starts, there isn’t a single soul in sight.

Seungmin enters fully, approaching the bleachers where he sees a couple of other bags sitting between the benches. He recognizes one of them, blue with tacky black and pink charms and plushies on it. It’s Lix’s. Which means he and some other team members who own the surrounding and equally ugly bags are here too.

Surprising.

Seungmin is usually teased by those associated with him about being early or annoyingly on time. But here he is, late to the party of his now fellow cheerleaders who have arrived long enough before him to set their things down and dip. How lovely.

Although if Seungmin recalled, you were supposed to leave your things in the locker room. Though it’s probably easier to just drop baggage in the bleachers when most people have no other reason to be running back and forth from said place.

About 5 minutes pass before Seungmin’s Nuerodivergence takes over, and he can’t help the wanderlust that has him craving movement. He knows when practice starts he’ll want nothing more than to not be moving, but he can’t help it for the moment.

Headphones still on his head, he hums to the new song playing. ‘Yummy’ by Bieber, he approaches the door to the locker room, wondering if this is where his missing fellow cheerleaders are hiding. Though that would be weird, since their stuff was in the gym.

He pauses the music, entering the space and grimacing when the naturally warm air of it hits him in the face. He peeks as he allows the door to slowly close behind him, hearing shuffling when he passes the first bunch of lockers and following the noise with innocent intentions.

When he turns a corner to the third threshold of lockers, what he sees is anything but innocent. They’re there, within the U shaped space of storage, 3rd from the door where they were probably completely sure nobody would find them. Felix, and some muscular jock Seungmin recognizes from picking up Jisung from classes, are pressed into the locker, lips interlocked as they go at each other's bodies like animals.

Hurt flares in Seungmin’s chest, it burns like he’s been scolded by something fuming well above 100 degrees. It’s like a series of pain and hate, it’s ugly and it doesn't feel right placed expanding in the pit of his stomach.

Not only because negative emotions of this caliber don’t usually have an iron grip on Seungmin, like they do right now, but also because Seungmin is not dating Felix. He doesn’t belong to him, and there is nothing between them.

So Seungmin shouldn’t be upset. He shouldn’t be fighting tears as he watches Felix’s paws sink into the beefy producer's biceps, easily the size of Seungmins pretty little doll head, as Jisung liked to call it.

He shouldn't be disappointed as Felix and this guys tongue dance in a practiced tangle, one of the stranger's hands parked on Felix’s lower back, the other on his ass. Which he is gripping beneath the fabric of Felix’s sweatpants.

Seungmin shouldn’t want to thrash and scream in frustration because he has no right to. That isn’t his place. He can’t even talk to Felix, he can’t hold a conversation. Seungmin thinks on how pathetic and incompetent he is as Felix pushes himself off of the wall, flipping their positions so the bigger guys pressed between himself and the lockers instead.

The months of practiced conversation in the mirror where he’d try to form sentences so he could talk to the blonde without being such a mess. It never worked of course, because of moments like now.

Moments where Seungmin is reminded of how vulnerable he is due to his crush. Due to his stupid and useless feelings he harbored that do him and nobody else any good. He couldn’t even push them to the side long enough to say thank you when Felix showed him a bit of attention.

‘Oh, a smile! How pretty!’ He’d told him. And the omega just sat there looking stupid, hunched into himself and panicked, like a fucking dork. He knew he was pathetic, an omega showing weakness like the affection he was babysitting for Felix was always meant to be a disaster.

Unmated omegas shouldnt allow any type of vulnerabilities with alphas they can’t even have conversations with. He set himself up for this. His disappointment was his own fault. And from the smell of the overwhelming scents rolling off of the pair, the other guy was an alpha too.

Seungmin would be a liar if he said he wasn't aware that Felix.. Got around. But he’s a single alpha, a handsome at that. He’s famous, liked, beautiful, kind, strong. The whole package if the package didn’t include large.

But seeing it for himself did a lot more damage than Seungmin had initially assumed it would. It stung, like the tears in the back of his eyes. He feared so intimately that they’d spill over if he blinked, so he simply stared at the two sources to the scents filling the air.

Marshmallow and cream rootbear it seems. Powerful and overtaking in its current state. Seungmin should have known from the beginning that Felix was into muscle head alphas. That much should have been apparent by the beefcakes who surround him 24/7, Seungmins two friends included in that bunch.

The groping and prodding, he saw the signs, but he ignored them. He passed them off as Felix being a clingy cuddlebug in his nature because he didn’t want to accept that he wasn’t the blondes type, despite knowing deep down he never had a chance anyways.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, staring, swimming with emotions. But soon Felix’s nose twitches, and his eyes open wide to stare directly at Seungmin, who’s frozen in his spot caught in the act of snooping.

It’s only then does Seungmin realize, he’d habitually taken off his gland patches, and his 12 hour scent blockers are definitely worn off by now. At that moment, multiple things happen. 1, Felix shoves the alpha off of him in a flurry, breathless and frantic like he’s been caught doing something he’s not supposed to be.

2, Seungmin takes into account the horrid scent of burnt cinnamon mixing with both the alphas arousal, which is slowly dissipating. It’s ugly, so ugly it could probably make your throat sore if you breathed it in for too long, like a chemical that’s bad for the heart.

“Seungmin! You’re like- 20 minutes early!” He sputtered, wiping his hand down his face and pulling down his shirt from where it was bunched up. “Sorry, this isn’t.. Uh.” Felix struggles to catch his breath and find his words at the same time. Seungmin finishes for him, figuring he should hurry and get out of there. It isn’t his place to be here right now anyways.

“Sorry.” he says weakly, it’s shaky and almost a whisper. Absolutely pathetic. Seungmin is mortified, the shame brings him back enough to help him realize he’s got to get the hell out of there.

“Sorry, I left something in here yesterday, and i.. Forgot my suppressants so I’ll have to skip practice today.” he word vomits, technically completely true. He stares at the floor as he says it, doesn’t dare blink, too aware of the barely withheld tears that’d be the wrong type of moisture for his dry eyes.

“Sorry for interrupting. I’ll go.” He says before he turns and makes a b line for the locker rooms nearest exit. Felix says something, Seungmin almost hears it over the blood running and sound ringing in his ears, but he doesn’t.

The exit he took lead outside, he passes a chunk of the squad on his way, coming back from what seemed to be the cafe down the street from campus. Great. Just perfect. He pulls his hoodie over his head as he speed walks back to the dorms, more than grateful knowing Jisung is probably crammed into one of the schools studios making new music, and Hyunjin is at dance practice.

He barely makes it halfway back to the dorms before Jisung is blowing up his phone. Usually, he’d teasingly let it ring till the last buzz, but Seungmin was a little upset at the moment. And he genuinely didn’t want to talk. He feared deeply that his dear friend would be able to read the heartbreak in his voice, and that was another type of vulnerability he wasn’t prepared to confront.

As he stood in the middle of the side walk, watching his phone ring for the third time, he figured what the hell. He was already there. Only when it’s dark can you see the stars, right? He still had relationships to maintain, they may not be romantic and they may not be Felix, but they meant something to Seungmin as well.

He accepts the call, putting the phone to his ear. He says nothing, and for a moment, neither does Jisung. It’s like he’s being read through the receiver, and it makes him feel very small. If Jisung notices the hitch in his deep breaths, he says nothing, sending his own deep sigh through Seungmins speaker.

“What’s wrong.” He says, after a few beats. “I saw your location Simmie, where are you going?” he ask’s him. At the sound of one his closest friends concerns, he breaks down. It feels good to let it go, to sob into his cellphone where only someone who he knows cares enough about him not to break his heart will hear.

Secure, and sound. Not vulnerable, he remembers. Because his beta’s are his safe place, and vice versa. “Sungie.” he cries. “I don’t like having a crush. This is fucking stupid.” he curses, hand shaking as it grips his phone.

“Aw, Simmie. Come to the studio, okay? We can talk, and then we can go home and lay in your nest. Yeah?” Jisungs request is staticy through the device, but Seungmin doesn’t care. He nods aggressively, throat and jaw tight with effort of not letting another sob rapt through him.

He knows Jisung can’t see him nodding, so he gives it up, hanging up the phone without confirmation. Jisung knows he will come. Jisung will be waiting for him.

Seungmin abruptly changes course, heading straight for the schools musical arts building.
He was gonna be okay.

Chapter Text

When Seungmin arrives at the musical arts building, Jisung is standing outside  waiting for him. He guides Seungmin into the tiny studio with a hand on his lower back, not saying a word till they’re both sat down in front of the sound board, staring at one another.

Seungmin got most of his crying out on the way there, he’s never been big on tears, usually put together to the point where he can just take a few deep breaths and shake it off. But things involving Lee Felix were always a bit more complicated. It’s quite annoying, actually. Soft spots are not only soft, they’re sensitive. And tender. They bruise easily.

“Simmie.” Jisung calls, drawing Seungmin’s eyes from the floor to himself. They’re a little red, his lack of water works means when they come they don’t have to be there long to have a drastic effect on the omegas appearance. 

His cheeks were a bit puffy, eyes still moist as he pouts from his spot slumped and slouching in the rolly chair. Jisung waits patiently, relaxed, leaning forward and looking at Seungmin with a tilt of his head, expecting. 

It’s not long before Seungmin sniffles and explains what happened in the locker room, rage flaming in the pit of his stomach for a moment as he recalls the events. Jisung nods along as Seungmin blabbers on and on about how he has no right in any context to be upset, just letting him talk. 

When the omega finishes with a huff and sniffle,  Jisung inhales and exhales as he gathers his thoughts and allows himself to respond. 

“Simmie.” He starts. “It’s a crush. You can be as upset as you want as long as your not expecting Lix to feel guilty about it. You know?” Of course Seungmin knows, he thinks it’s unnecessary damage for Jisung to say such outloud, but he nods at it anyways, arms still crossed over he chest, Jisung giggles at his pouting.

“Hey, you know it’s gonna be okay right?” Jisung ask’s. Suengmin huffs, rolling his eyes. “ I will once I quit the team, fuck this. I only joined for him. But if I have to regularly come across him making out with guys hotter than me I think I’d rather walk away.” Seungmin admits. 

Jisung shakes his head, sitting up from his position in his chair and giving Seungmin a tentative smile. “You can’t quit Simmie. You already agreed to join. You haven’t even gone to one practice.” Seungmin knows he has a point, but the stubborn menace in him never goes down without a fight. 

“For why though. I didn’t want to go in the first place. And..” Seungmin stops right there, he wouldn’t dare communicate his next words out loud. Much too naked. He chances a look at Jisung, and when he caught his eye, he knows his friend understands. 

“Simmie, something you told me when I was having trouble jumping off the roof at that frat party has stuck with me since then. You remember?” Jisung ask’s him, and of course Seungmin remembered. Most of his words are wise, even if he was just trying to get Jisung to do something stupid for his own entertainment. 

“Be scared and do it anyways.” They say in unison, Jisung gives him a curt nod. Seungmin hates when his idiot friend is being smarter than him, that’s his fucking job. The omega rolls his eyes again, letting out another final sigh that aids him in ridding the weight of his crush, though it doesn’t disappear completely, it helps. 

Jisung must notice, because he turns in his chair and starts fiddling with the sound board. Seungmin doesnt know what he’s doing till he speaks again. “You know what you need Simmie? You need somewhere to drop the weight so you can keep moving. Like how Hyunjin does with his dancing, and I do with my songwriting. For today, since there’s no ice rinks here, you can borrow my outlet.”

A track starts playing, and Seungmin raises his eyebrow questioningly at his friend, like he’s crazy. “As my professor always says: bring it to the booth! I know you’ve got  creativity in your body. You skated for what, 16 years? And you design everyday. Try using words this time.”

Seungmin wants to call his friend stupid, he wants to say this is a stupid idea and walk out of the studio and let his heart continue to break, just because he’s stubborn. But he trusts Jisung, and he’s always taking care of the beta, maybe it’s ok to let the other take care of him this time.

Plus, Seungmin is bored. And he’s always liked a challenge. He’s far from a musician, but it’s only them here. And maybe it will be a good distraction. Exhaling, Seungmin stands, waltzing into the booth of the studio, putting on the headphones and sitting on the mic, adjusting.

He looks through the glass where Jisung gives him a reassuring gummy smile and thumbs up. He nods at him, allowing himself a moment to listen to the beat playing, immediately recognizing it. “This instrumental, weren’t you saving it for yourself?”

Jisung shrugs, pausing the track. “Technically the hundreds of tracks and songs I have created are always for myself. Right now, this ones serving a greater purpose. Now sing! Pour your heart out!” He hollers, removing his finger from the button leaving Seungmin to watch as Jisung cheers him on, muted from the other room. 

Seungmin sighs, nodding. “Okay.” he says. “Restart the track. “

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Seungmin laid in his nest the next morning, contemplating life. He knows he’ll probably see Felix walking with Jisung on the way to class, since Jisung always waits for him and Hyunjin on the bottom floor of the dorms. And by default, so does Felix. 

He hears his alarm going off from where it’s plugged in on his and Hyunjin’s shared nightstand, blaring some song by Usher. Seungmin doesn’t bother to touch it, aware that after a minute or 2 Hyunjin will roll over and silence it himself. 

Like clockwork, on the fifth repeat of the song, there’s silence, followed by an annoyed groan. Seungmin hopes the other will go back to sleep, prays in silence that Hyunjin has forgotten about his morning classes, and won’t ask any questions as to why Seungmin hadn’t immediately pressed stop on the alarm and pulled Hyunjin out of bed. 

“Min?” The kiwi calls from his bed. Seungmin doesn’t respond, he just flips the page in his book, adjusting the reading light attached to the side of the cage accordingly. 

He thinks he hears the other sigh, there’s rustling outside before Seungmin sees Hyunjin appear at the foot of his cage, crawling inside to lay next to him and stretch his long limbs over Seungmins lap and chest. 

The cage is draped in blankets and lace curtains, just to make it pretty. So you can’t see anything apart from the exit from inside of it.

Fear slips into Seungmin’s scent. For what exactly? The other isn’t sure. Maybe it’s from knowing Hyunjin was told what happened by Jisung, shame. Or from the thought of confrontation, dread. But whatever it is, it’s quickly overcome by the comforting smell of cherries. 

Hyunjin’s scenting him, rubbing the glands on his wrists up against the ones on Seungmin’s neck. He’s quickly overcome by the warmth of the pheromones, body relaxing and arms slumping onto his chest alongside his book. 

The stereotype about beta’s having weak scents is a myth, it’s all about the person. Jisung and Hyunjin could make Seungmin boneless anytime, and in his moments of need it aids him to stop being so difficult with them. 

“Seungmin, you’ve got to see him at some point. Are you really going to mess up your perfect attendance over a boy? You're an academic weapon! And you're bigger than this.” Hyunjin encourages, playing with Seungmin’s slender fingers. 

The omega hums at him, he knows Hyunjin purposely waited till after he was finished releasing pheromones to say anything. Seungmin’s always much more compliant after he’s been scented. 

He could muster the energy to fight it if he really wanted to, but something about the cherries coming off Hyunjin and the coconuts imitating from Jisung’s jacket beneath his head tear down his walls and make him unwillingly practical when all he wanted to do was pout and sulk. 

He could resist, but surprisingly, Hyunjin has a point. And it’ll get easier the faster he confronts it. Also, in reality, Felix didn’t do anything wrong. He can do what he wants, because the fact that Seungmin has a crush on him has nothing to do with him. It’s not his responsibility and it’s not his burden.
 
Seungmin just wishes it wasn’t his own either.

“Ready to get up and get ready? We can go get coffee before class if we dress fast enough.” Hyunjin bargens as he climbs out of the cage, foot tangling in his own scarf Seungmin stole from him last winter. He’s really gotta have him re scent that one. 

The omega only hums as Hyunjin drags his boneless body from his nest, pulling him to his feet. “Let’s go Min, the donut place down the street should be open. We can go and get some stuff for our fridge after classes too. Maybe a nice lunch will prepare you for cheer practice.”

Seungmin whines at that, bouncing in agitation at the mention of his root of despair. “Stop it Min, you’ll be ok. Me and Hannie will drag you there if we have to, but you’ve already agreed to go. I’d love to baby you but you’ve gotta get over it.” 

Seungmin only whines again. Longer and louder this time, full of dread. Hyunjin laughs at his childishness, handling him onto his bed where he allows him to wait out the effect of the pheromones, walking to their shared wardrobe and pulling out something of his own for Seungmin to wear. 

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Hyunjin isn’t completely merciless that morning, he allows Seungmin to take the stairs down, successfully leaving whatever inevitable dreadful conversation to come for later. Jisung meets him at the bottom, when the omega nears the exit of the staircase the beta is standing by the door, leaning on the wall with his arms crossed.

“Master of evasion! There you are!” He cheers, clapping as Seungmin descends the last couple steps and pads over to him with a pout on his face. “God. Did you and Hyunjin raw dog this morning or something? You reek of cherries, it’s like walking into a bath and body works.”

Seungmins shrugs, having not paid any mind to it. He always smells like them, as well as the rest of their friend group who surrounds them a majority of the time. “Hyunnie had to spell me to get me out of my nest. I should have held my breath and went unconscious instead, you guys are annoying.” Seungmin deadpans as he approaches the producer.

His poker face didn’t last for long, Jisung latches onto his backside, arms around his waist, the beta jumping excitedly as he leeches to him with no regard for personal space. “Well Hyunnie’s on sunshine patrol right now, my turn!”

Seungmin tries his hardest to hide his contentment as he keeps walking, cherries and coconuts mixing on his skin, clothes and glands, making him feel light as a feather. They do go to get coffee and donuts, Jisung opting for cheesecake and chocolate milk despite Seungmin telling him such a thing would upset his tummy so early in the morning. 

Jisung drops Seungmin off at class and that’s the last of them for a while until Seungmin no doubt runs into the other at his own dorm later. The omega powers through his classes, finishing his breakfast quickly during his first lecture. 

The day passes by at a gradual pace, and eventually Seungmin is sitting in his final class thinking about the unavoidable. He misses Felix, used to seeing him within his swarm of friends when they all drop each other at their separate classes. But he’s scared when he sees him that he’ll be reminded of that jocks hands and lips on his body. It makes him sick.

But still, his treacherous heart swoops at the thought of seeing the alpha. Like it hasn’t learned its lesson. And maybe it hasn’t. But if that’s the case, it’s all the more annoying.

He hates to think about the scenario too much, but it’s not like he wants to. He actually wants the opposite. Who wouldn't? Watching your crush suck face with somebody the opposite of you. It felt like getting electrocuted, sudden, unexpected, and intense in a way that makes you wish it would have killed you instead of having lasting effects. 

As Seungmins last lecture ends, he contemplates. How bad could it really be? He wasn’t dating Felix. And as he had to remind himself a million times, the other didn’t do anything wrong. They were friends.. Kind of.. Either way they were cool. Seungmin was bigger than this, like Hyunjin said. It’s just a stupid crush. 

Seungmin’s self-talk leaves him feeling a bit more confident, less on his mind as he exits the lecture hall. But it barely has time to marinate before he walks out and sees Felix posted across the way from the door, casually relaxed with his arms folded over his chest. 

He’s gorgeous as usual, but as much as he wants to wallow in the fact that his crush is stunning, he quickly pivots on his foot and flees the opposite way in an attempt to avoid the other. He wants to blame it on fight or flight, but he knows it’s just himself reserving his own sanity.

Seungmin thinks he’s gotten away for a second, before he hears a familiar set of combat boots clinking behind him and a holler of “Seungmin! Hey!”  

Felix rounds his frame, throwing himself in front of the omega and stopping him from moving forward with his hands on his arms comfortably. The touch and  the smell of marshmallows makes his heart hurt in his chest, as it always does. And the Omega immediately acknowledges that no, his stupid heart has indeed not learned it’s lesson. 

Felix smiles as they come face to face, like Seungmin isn’t spiraling internally. “Hey.” He repeats simply, one corner of his mouth qaurking up in casual excitement. Seungmin doesn’t know why he’d be happy to see him when he had his tongue in that muscle heads mouth less than 24 hours ago. But he replies anyways, albeit quietly in a way that screams self conscious whisper.

“Hi.. What are you doing here...” he says back, heart thrumming in his chest like a sledgehammer. “I was just gonna talk to you this morning, but it almost seemed–” his sentence swims as he moves his head to find Seungmin’s averted-to-the ground gaze, only picking back up after he puts himself in the omegas direct line of vision. “--Like you were avoiding me.” He finishes.

Seungmin shakes his head, not knowing what else to do. Despite his deadpan expression, his slightly wide eyes give away his panic. “Really? Cause to me it really looked like you were making a run for it just now.” 

Felix’s deep voice and pretty face are doing things to Seungmins body, now's not the time for him to be getting turned on by the blonde's presence, but he’s never had much control over his execution when it came to the other. 

Seungmin shakes his head again, he can’t help but feel mortified by himself when it comes to Lee Yongbok. It’s embarrassing how much power he’s got over the omega, he almost feels the need to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness. 

For what? Seungmin isn’t completely sure. But the concern in Felix’s expression is making him feel very small, his confidence from earlier completely vanished. 

“ I just wanted to talk to you. You know, about-“ 
Seungmin’s sentences are all blended together as he word vomits, deathly afraid that if he goes too slow, he’ll stutter or stumble. Or worse, throw up.

“Look Lix, you’re an adult and you can do what you want to. I really don’t wanna have a conversation about this. I’m sorry for walking in on you and I have somewhere to be so can we just please-“

“Hey, hey hey hey! Woah, slow down Mimi! Okay, I get it. We don’t have to talk about it. But please take a breath, you look like I spooked you or something.” Felix steps forward, rubbing his little hands up and down Suengmin’s slender arms soothingly. 

Seungmin only stares at the other, his body and mind are having an aneurism trying to figure out if he should be panicking further or relaxing, but ultimately, he shoves his mild case of a heart attack down into the depths of his body and takes a deep breath.

 He can tell he’s scaring Felix a little with his own fear and that — despite how he’s feeling— is not something he wants to do. “I’m..” he exhales, trying not to stutter, not easy when Felix’s touch makes him feel like he’s been lit on fire. “I’m fine Lix. I’ll see you at practice. Yeah?”

He gives the alpha a only slightly forced smile, the blonde stepping back and pulling his hands away, shoving him in his pockets. He doesn’t look more sure than he was when he first stopped Seungmin, but he nods and smiles at the omega anyways.

Seungmin proceeds past the other, steadying his trembling breath as he makes his way back to his dorm. 

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

“It sounds like he feels bad, Min.”

Currently Seungmin is back in his dorm, fixing his hair in the mirror and dressing himself for cheer practice. Yet again. 

This time, he did not forget his scent blockers, thankfully. Felix is slightly perceptive with his nose, if he couldn’t read Seungmin’s emotions on his face he’d read them in his scent.   

It’s the same with Hyunjin and Jisung, who are also in the dorm, coconut and cherries overtaking the space. They are also deeply inconveniencing Seungmin by shoving harsh truths in his face. Which the omega feels he could go without. 

But it seems truth is only better than delusion when it’s one of them, since the two forever commit themselves to being the annoyingly correct angels on his shoulder, upsetting him and ruining his day. Which is new, because neither of them are exactly sinless.

“Why would he feel bad. He’s a sexy single alpha and he can do what he wants. I should feel bad, for watching them like a judging aunt. It pissed me off, sure, but I have good reason for that. What would his be?”

Seungmin turns back to look at the two, once again in his nest, piled on top of each other like clingy mates. Jisung only looks at him plainly, but Hyunjin, ever the most fed up with his antics, gives him a deadpan expression of ‘are you stupid?’ 

Seungmin squints at him, irritably. He puts his hands on his hips, staring openly and the two beta’s stare right back. “Who sent you? Cause clearly you aren’t on my side.” the omega pouts, Hyunjin chuckles a little, before playing it off as a cough and trying to straighten his face out again. 

 Even if Seungmin wanted to take them seriously, they don’t look too intimidating laying inside of a giant cage wrapped and decorated in white lace curtains and kuromi plushies. Especially since Seungmin is more than aware of who helped him decorate it. 

“We’re on you’re side! We’re just saying-”
“SKRRT, i’ll stop you right there, I am totally neutral in all of this!” Jisung interjects. Seungmin gasps overdramatically, jaw dropping. “Treacherous rodent! Get out of my nest.” he accuses, pointing at the coconut scented beta. 

Jisung returns the energy, immediately falling into the devil incarnate's trap and getting prickly, loudly stating his defense. “No! Who said that?? I would never!” He hollers as he points at the omega from the floor of his nest.

“I built this damn cage, you shit! How could you try and kick me out?? I’m your best friend, that's so mean! I’m just saying that I understand your side of this as well as Lix’s. I live with the guy! And I don’t want to expose you guy’s business to each other so I don’t say anything. But you're both hopeless. Hopeless I say!” he rants, letting Seungmin have it.

The omega will definitely come back around to the part about Felix, but for now he’s got Jisung started. So he’s definitely gotta egg him on. He mentally smirks as he puts on a feigned look of offense, pointing right back at the other in an attempt at aggression. His friends coo, cause Seungmin’s to baby boy to ever look threatening. 

“Hush! You killed one of my sanrio plushies when we were making my nest, you don’t have bragging rights!” Jisung lets out an indigent gasp, eyes as wide as saucers. Seungmin can almost see the vein thrumming in his forehead. It takes all of Seungmin’s power not to topple over in laughter where he’s standing like Hyunjin is doing in the cage next to Jisung. 

“It was an accident! I didn’t mean to rip her! That material was cheap anyways! It was a fake and you know it, that’s why it came apart like that! And you said you forgave me for that.” 
“Pochacco never forgot about you slaughtering his third cousin, plushie murderer.” Seungmin crosses his arms stubbornly over his chest.

“Rabbits and dogs aren’t related, that’s delusional. And you’re supposed to be a law student.” 
“You dumbass, what the hell does animal species have to do with law?? You’re such a loser.” Seungmin insults as he picks up a t- shirt off Hyunjin’s side of the room, tossing it into Jisung’s face.

As Jisung’s spouting nonsense, Seungmin takes a look at the wall where their digital clock hangs. He’s wants to leave now and be early, but he very vividly remembers what happened last time he tried that. Although, the side of him that wants to be early claws at the omegas reserve, and he gives in. Deciding to simply not go wondering this time.

He grabs his bag, slipping on a jacket over his t-shirt and heading out of the dorm room. Him and the two beta’s scenting his nest say their byes for the afternoon and Seungmin heads off, heart hammering in his chest for a reason eerily unknown to the omega.

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

The gym is empty again this time, no music playing but bags of college cheerleaders still sitting in the bleachers. This time, Seungmin looks for Felix’s ugly bag but doesn’t see it. It feels odd, he knows from attending practices alongside Hyunjin and Jisung for pure entertainment that the blonde always shows up early. Whether it’s to kiss on jocks or prepare for drills as captain. 

Seungmin decides to not think too hard on it for his own sanity, a procedure he’s trying to master so he doesn’t go bald before 40. Stress isn’t good for youth, or anyone really. But maybe it’s more relevant when you still have teeth and hair to lose. 

“Hey.” A deep voice comes from behind Seungmin after he enters the gymnasium fully, he whips around at the speed of light, trying to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t start panicking at the sight of his dream alpha standing right in front of him. It’s not going well, because suddenly the room is very hot and the space is very enclosed.

“Hi..” Seungmin replies, unusually high. It’s embarrassing to say the least, he doesn't know why he can’t just have a normal conversation with the mini alpha. This crush business is such an inconvenience. 

“Wanna go for a run around the track? Practice doesn’t start for another 20 minutes.” Felix requests. Seungmin makes a face, he doesn’t like running, especially considering how his coach used to make him run a suicide for every time he failed to land a double axel.

Felix chuckles at the expression, fidgeting a bit with his duffle bag as he waits for an answer. Seungmin supposes he’ll have to start running again eventually, and reluctantly nods his head to agree. 

Here again, within 15 feet of Lee Felix, Seungmin’s brain and mouth always fail him. So he tries to go on autopilot and avoid using his words. But it’s hard to not plummet face first into the ground when he can smell the nerves in Felix’s marshmallows.

It’s a weird scent for the other to be giving off at the moment, Seungmin should be the only one nervous, right? He’s the one who blatantly watches Felix make out with someone else. He’s the one with the embarrassing crush on someone out of his league. So why is the alpha acting like the roles are switched?

The two jogged mostly in silence, paces and movements eventually syncing. It’s nice, pleasant even. It almost feels good for Seungmin to be doing something above a jog again, not just because it stretches his long limbs the right way, but because Felix is here with him, making it easier.

Seungmin so often focuses on how panicked he is around the blonde that he doesn’t realize how content the others' presence makes him feel. He isn't aware of the pure happiness he materializes when his focalpoint is not how terrifying it is to have such a tender spot for someone. 

Is Felix’s power on him intimidating? Of course it is. Seungmin’s parents taught him that alpha’s were predators.That alpha’s were power hungry knot heads who oppressed both beta’s and omegas. And Seungmin believes it, even to this day. But being the embodiment of a non stereotypical omega, he knows it’s not always true.

Not too many years after accepting this truth, Seungmin came to college and fell for Felix. It’s scary, being so easily influenced by the type of person your family has always told you to watch out for. But Felix, he makes it so easy. Like Seungmin’s under a spell. 

Alpha’s are told to be dominant and upstaging, never feminine or pliant. But clearly, Felix has all said qualities down packed. It’s attractive to Seungmin. As well as his ability to lean into any dynamic comfortably, and flip off anybody who sees an issue with it.

He sees the other do it everyday, flaunt happily and comfortably in his skin with confidence in his hobbies and likes. Felix simply loves to live. 
With a tentative glance over to his left, where the alpha is running next to him, he decides that it’s as simple as that. 

Felix just likes to live.

There’s no reason to be upset with the other for embracing his freedom, something Seungmin admires him for. He wouldn’t be Felix if he wasn’t. It wouldn’t be right. If Felix wanted Seungmin, Seungmin is sure he would show it. So it’s appropriate that he make piece with it. 

The omega slows, stopping in his tracks, breathing in long and deep. With his exhale, he let’s go of any resentment he had towards Felix after catching him in the locker room. It stings a bit, but Seungmin wants Felix to be happy, that’s what really matters. 

When Seungmin lowers his sights from the sky, Felix is standing a few feet in front of him, breathing a little rigid with his hands on his hips,  gazing at him curiously. “You ok?” He ask’s him. Sweet Lixie, always so caring.

Seungmin nods at him, smiling. Felix beams in response, bouncing over to Seungmin happily. The omega already knows what’s coming, he’s seen it happen a million times within their friend group. On recognition, Seungmin cheese’s uncontrollably, turning and walking the opposite way of the blonde.

It’s in vein, because Felix bounds right up behind him, wrapping his arms around the tall omega and attaching himself to Seungmins backside, laughing like this is the most excited he’s ever been. Seungmin’s omega keens at the contact, going bonkers like bugs bunny inside it’s little secure area in his mind.

“I’m sorry about yesterday Minnie, I missed you. Let’s go inside! The team should all be here by now!” Felix expresses, no doubt still beaming like morning sun, starfished to Seungmin’s body. The omega tries to ignore the sound of him sniffing at his neck, but it’s hard when their walking right up against each other and Felix refuses to let go. 

He simply hums in contentment, making his way back inside from the track as best he can. It’s a little tricky, but Seungmin wouldn't object to this moment even if he could trust his own voice to speak without cracking or stuttering. 

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Felix’s demeanor completely changes when he’s in captain mode. The authority of his deep voice is quadrupled, and it makes Suengmin feel things that are not appropriate for cheer practice. 

He can’t help it though, Felix is barking out orders in a tank top and sweatpants, arms crossed over his chest as he spectates the team's example of a pyramid and tosses for the newer teammates.

Seungmin hadn’t expected the team to be so elite. But this is college, not little leagues. He isn’t sure why he wasn’t prepared for everyone to be demonstrating stunts and tumbling, Felix had mentioned competitions and flexibility training before.

The simplest explanation had to be that the omega was paying more attention to the captain than he was to the team.  Which was unfair for the squad, who are also very important. But this is Lee Felix we're talking about. 

Seungmin’s immersed fully into athletic mode, practicing split jumps with the rest of the team, when the coach claps her hands and tells everyone to line up. 

“Okay. We’ve got to establish positions. I need flyers, bases, tumblers, forward dancers and spotters. Once you're chosen for a position it will be your main area of expertise, on workout Wednesdays during sharpening hours it will be your focus.” She begins to explain, walking up and down the line of cheerleaders. 

“Your positions will help me and your captain with choreographing your routines and using all of your strengths to the best of their potential and hopefully further. We’ll find these strengths by having all of you learn a routine. You’ll perform it on your own for me and your captain, then you'll be assigned. Yes?”

“Yes coach Luv.” The squad replies in unison. Felix had told Seungmin and their group of friends one night at dinner that Coach Luv was more of a drill sergeant than a coach. And based on the way she had them lined up like prisoners it seems it wasn't an exaggeration.

She’s a little scary, scent made up of margarita mix, but she gets shit done. Seungmin has to respect it. And he does. Her scents intoxicating too, if she wasn’t such a hard ass maybe she’d have a ring on her finger by now. 

Seungmin silently hopes he’s happily married long before her age in the safety of his mind. He’d never say such a thing out loud. Too much vulnerability for him to be showing as an Omega. A lot of alphas would eat him alive if they peeped his want for such domestic and stereotypical things.

The squad ends the day’s practice with learning the first few steps of the constructive routine, it’s mostly dance moves, ones Seungmin isn’t too fond of, considering his last professional sport. On the ice you're supposed to flow, not tick. But cheer was all about the ticking, catching every beat with  fiery energy. 

It’s very different than what Seungmin is used to, but he’s a very intelligent omega. And he can figure this out. Sure, it might take him a while, considering gliding and stunting on ice is different than dancing on land. But he will do his best, and that’s all he can provide at the moment. But for today, poor Seungmin is simply ready to rest.

Practice ends, Seungmin decides he hates sports and that they can all die. Especially because he knows Jisung is lazing around in his nest while he works like a cow. He’s about ready to go home and never come back. 

When Seungmin rounds the corner, Felix is standing in the hall by himself, typing on his phone. Seungmin isn’t sure why, but he stands there next to Felix until he finishes sending whatever message he was working on, looking over to Seungmin, a gorgeous smile morphing onto his face when he turns to him. 

“Mimi! You want to walk back together?” He asks, grabbing Seungmin’s hands and swinging them happily like the social cuddle bug he is. “Sure, bokkie.” If Felix could smell Seungmin’s scent or read the look in his eyes he’d know the poor omega was as far gone as the stars. 

A dangerous place to be, with no air and no oxygen. But beautiful nonetheless. 

Chapter Text

Seungmin, the week after the squad finishes learning the constructive routine, is chosen to be a flyer.

 It definitely was not where he expected to be placed, but despite his hesitation, he trusted Felix and Coach Lauvs judgement. The team seemed to agree as well. Though a lot of them were a bit hesitant in accepting their own positions, they all seemed to band together when Seungmin asked for a couple of third party opinions from more experienced cheerleaders.

“A flyer?? Really? I thought they’d have the smaller omegas do those positions.” Hyunjin provides, forking rice into his mouth. Him, Jisung, Minho, Changbin, and Felix were currently out together, getting dinner.

It’s Saturday, and none of them have classes or practices. So getting together was almost inevitable on a day they are all available.  Changbin was a production major like Jisung, and Hyunjin was a dance major with Minho.  Both of them are alpha’s, though in Seungmins honest opinion, they seem too bratty and immature to take on such title taking rolls. 

“Yeah, I didn’t know they let giant dogs on top of pyramids and shit. Guess they’ve been fooled by the mutt's doll face.” Minho teases, shoveling some pasta into his mouth. “Aw, hyung, if you think I’m pretty you could just say that.” Seungmin reciprocates, making a kissy deadpan face at the other across the table.

“Nobody wants your herpe kisses, dog. Shut up.” Minho returns. Seungmin only laughs, conversation carrying on casually, the others much too used to their bickering. 

“It’s not about subgender or size Hyunnie, not when you’ve got good bases. Although Seungmins stature does make his body better suited for the position. He’s kind of tall, so it looks good when he’s posing, and his specific weight class is greatly suited for being tossed around to the point he has enough mass to be controlled but the right lightness to not be lost in the wind.” 

‘Prove it. ’ Seungmin can’t help but think as he pokes at his leftover sushi rolls. “Plus, coach Lauv said considering he was an ice skater, flyer will be a great position for him, perfect even. She thinks he can get it down in a couple weeks.”

“Yeah, all that cheer stuff sounds complicated, like it’s tiring.” Hyunjin says. “I’ve watched you guys in practice, I would probably get kicked off the team for knocking down a tower or something.”  

“Alright, Mr expert dancer and double major Hwang. I think you're just being ridiculous, cheering and dancing are in the same ballpark.” Felix’s responds. “I would say the only difference is the dangerous stunts in cheer, but you guys have got the same thing in dance routines don't you?” 

“Yeah. Hyunjin is just stupid.” Minho answers for him, earning a side eye and scowl from said dancer. 

The table of students laugh and fall into a comfortable rhythm of chatter, catching each other up on updates and things happening in their separate lives. Felix tells them all he’s perfected a peach cobbler recipe and promises to make some for them, Hyunjin and Minho complain about upcoming competitions, Changbin and Jisung talk about a track their working at and so on. 

Somewhere within the chaos Felix tells the table about their upcoming competition ‘So You Think You Can Cheer?’ where they're supposed to be advancing to the preliminaries if they win the ticket to officially enter the competition. "Why do they hold preliminaries and the final showdown till after you get new team members?” Jisung questions at some point while the blonde is explaining the rankings. 

"It's a complicated setup, so that’s a good question Sungie. It's strategic. They want to see what you do with old and new resources; the difference between your performance and cooperation with new people is part of your score during finals.” the blonde explains. Jisung looks dazed by the onslaught of information until Seungmin sees a lightbulb spark above his head, effectively distracting him.

“Oh oh! Simmie! You remember that song you sung in the booth the other day, I up-”

“Hey.” a voice interrupts before the beta can elaborate, every head at the table turns to the edge, where an uncomfortably familiar alpha is standing, looking sheepish despite his tattoos and sleeveless shirt. 

It’s silent for a moment before everyone, except for Seungmin, lights up in greeting, singing hello’s like they’ve all known each other for a lifetime, the familiarity making the omega’s chest ache. 

“Channie! Hi! What are you doing here?” Felix takes the lead, which is expected, Seungmin busies himself by pulling out his sketch pad, eavesdropping while he tries his best to act unshaken. “What’s up guys? I was here waiting for my two friends, but they both canceled.” The alpha gives a tentative smile, scratching the back of his head. It makes Seungmin sick, cause he knows what the next words from the table are gonna be. 

“You should join us!” Yongbok chirps, already scooting further into the booth and making room for the other. “Yeah, the more the merrier.” Changbin agrees, Hyunjin and Jisung are no doubt silent out of consideration for their omegan friend. Seungmin is grateful that his two companions aren’t helping the rest of them curate his downfall. 

As Chan sits, they fall into excited chatter, discussing everything and nothing, and Seungmin stays out of it. He spends this excruciating time designing away because it helps him to cope with the knowledge that Chan is rubbing Felix’s thigh beneath the table. 

He forgoes his attempt at finishing up his sushi out of sudden loss of both appetite, as well as motivation to stay at the table. He wants to thug it out, to forget about his stupid crush and simply enjoy the company of his friends, who he’s been wanting to get together with for weeks. But when Seungmin catches the very powerful scent of cream rootbear mixing with marshmallows it’s his last straw. 

He can’t and he won’t sit here for the next 2 hours and act like he’s having fun anymore, it’s far too late and much too tedious of a task. Not to mention the aching of his heart in a rhythm that usually beats with his affection for Felix. It’s excruciating to lie and watch while one of his favorite alphas mingle with a man at which Seungmin can’t compare. 

It’s ten minutes later when the omega gives in, the combination of sweetness between the alpha’s scents making his blood boil and his body sick. Most would find it pleasing. But Seungmin finds it —as well as his steadily chilling meal— repulsive. 

It’s not the easiest to get away from his friends, but Seungmin will have to figure it out. Because his mood is only going to continue to plummet as time goes on. That’s a reality the omega does not want to deal with. 

“Hey, guys, I’m gonna go to the bathroom.” He informs the table. “Great! We’ll come too.” Felix says as the rest of them start to shift and shimmy from the booth, panic spreads through the omegas body, having forgotten about how much they rely on each other's presence and tend to stay glued to one another. He had to think of something, quick. 

“No! No..” Seungmin chuckles nervously. “No, that's okay. The food just got here. I don't want it to get cold.” The omega chances a glance at Hyunjin and Jisung, who are both looking at him with pitying looks of grief. Even if they couldn’t smell it on him, they know him well enough to put the pieces together, and conclude that their Minnie will not be returning to the table once he leaves. 

Seungmin gives them a gracious look of affection, subtle enough he hopes the rest of the boys miss it’s meaning as he turns and heads for the restroom. His beta’s won’t follow, mostly because of the leveling look he gave them, which more than informs them that Seungmin is going to be okay. He’s grateful for their concern and support, but he doesn’t want to ruin their night. 

Seungmin has strapped in for an hour-long walk, having rode 10 minutes to the restaurant with Lix from practice, when someone pulls up next to him on a motorcycle, revving loudly and echoing in the streets. A Yamaha R1. Seungmin can only identify it now because another one of his favorite people —unfortunately— went on and on seemingly forever about how awesome it was when he’d gotten it fresh out of highschool. 

The driver rests the weight of himself and his bike on his legs as he opens his helmet, Minho’s unimpressed and stupidly handsome face peeking from between the bow’s decorating the head piece. A loser in a hot body, Felix, Jisung, and him liked to call it. But Seungmin likes bows, so he’s not particularly against the rivaling decor. He just likes teasing his favorite person. 

“Minho hyung.” Seungmin says simply, little smile already playing at his lips as he watches the stupid look of irritation the older man gives him. “Kim Seungmin. As always your a terrible fucking liar. Hurry up. I haven’t got all day.” He scolds, deadpan expression never faltering. 

“Your foods gonna get cold, hyung.” Seungmin laughs as he walks closer. “Well I could be back in 20 minutes before my pasta is beyond resurrection if you’d shut up and get on the bike.” 

Seungmin giggles as he swings his leg over the vehicle, putting on the spare helmet with bunny ears hanging from it. 

Pink ones. 

Much like Felix, Minho cares not for stereotypes. And he enjoys all things of all types despite his subgender. It’s refreshing. 

Maybe in another life, Seungmin could have fallen for Minho instead. Much broader in frame, sharper in tongue. A love for dancing and dangerous machinery. And they could have gotten married, been the bickering couple their friends tease them about acting like all of the time. But not here. 

Here, Seungmin loves Felix, he realizes as they kick off, Seungmin holding on tight to Minho’s waist. A love deep and strong, rooted love like oak trees and completely unmovable. Here, Felix has Seungmin’s heart. And though it’s not the prettiest reality at times, it’s a faithful one. Even if it does hurt. Even if Chan is the one who Felix wants. But right now, that harsh truth doesn’t have to eat him alive. 

Seungmin cuddles into the alphas back the whole way home, Minho’s banana pudding scent being lost in the wind but still managing to comfort the omega on their way back home. Minho doesn’t commonly voice his affections, but his actions speak measures that are mountains wide. He really would be a good alpha, if only. 

When they pull into the parking lot of the student dorms, Minho taps Seungmin’s thigh two times to get him off his bike faster. At least that’s what he would tell him if he asked. But Seungmin knows it’s because Minho wants to make sure he was zoned back after the ride. 

Both of them pull off their helmets, shaking their hair out when the air hits it. Minho gives Seungmin a look, masked concern, the omega concludes. And knowing his hyung, he feels like a verbal expression of gratitude just isn’t enough. 

Good thing this is Lee Minho, his soulmate in another universe. 

After placing the extra helmet back on the bike, Seungmin stands in front of the vehicle, leaning forward over the handles as he presses their lips together sofly. Minho closes his eyes, hand coming up to caress the back of the omega’s neck in a silent show of affection and guidance.  They only move against one another for a few sweet seconds before Seungmin pulls away to breathe, smiling at Minho with starry eyes full of affection.

“Thanks, good night hyung.

It’s silent for a few beats before Minho replies, fulfillment present in a way that’s not romantic, but every bit as important. 

“Good night, Kim Seungmin.” 

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

As the weeks pass, it seems to Seungmin that Felix pays most attention to him because he’s a newbie. Which should be discouraging, but to Seungmin, who can’t help but beam every time Felix compliments his improvements, he can't get enough. 

Granted, he’ll never get used to being the center of the alphas focus, and he still can't get a grip on his fumbling when he looks at him for too long. But if he said it didn’t feel good to get better at something  — and be complimented daily by your crush— he’d be telling the lie of the century.

The more Felix pays him positive attention the more Seungmin improves. He’s always been a hard worker naturally, that on top of the others encouragement and his competitive need to be great is only making him a better athlete as the days pass. 

An added victory to Seungmin’s win is he’s done a great job balancing his law degree with practice and work, Coach Lauv says he and the rest of the team are shaping up to be competition ready. It’s true that Seungmin gets less sleep, and that sometimes he forgets to eat because he’s so in the hurry to get extra practice or study time in, but pain is gain. And things are going great.

It all comes crashing down on top of him one Monday, when Seungmin’s borrowed a dance studio to practice the new cheer routine after getting a few hours of studying in. 

On this day, his issue wouldn’t be the practice, it would be the fact that when he unknowingly blacks out, and that when he comes through, there’s a very unwanted person pouring water on him and tapping his face.

“Hey. Hey hey, yeah, just like that Seungmin. Wake up.” Chan encourages as the law student comes to, he bolts up right, nearly stopped mid movement by the horrid headache he was nursing.

Staring at one another, Suengmin touches one of his large paws to the spot in the back of his head the pain is resonating from, whining at the pounding against the inner walls of his skull. 

“What the hell are you doing here? I thought you and Jisung were working on a track together today.” Seungmin panics, very ungracefully.

“Uh. I was heading to the studio for that just now actually, but I walked past and was gonna say hi, until I realized you were kinda pale and breathing really slowly.” Chan explains simply. “Are you okay? I’m pretty sure you hit your head really hard. Do you need-”

“No, no, large beefy alpha male who smells like creamy root beer. I don’t need anything from you. I was fine, I’m fine. I was just.. Napping.” he replies quickly, snappy. This dude was the last guy he wanted to catch him in such a situation. Or really, the last person he wanted to see at all. 

Alpha Christoper, who Felix hasn’t stopped talking about since dinner. He’s from Australia too, and he’s so hot and he smells so good. Seungmin’s happy he excused himself the other day and let his studies envelop him. He thinks it would have been a bummer if he was to vomit of pure envy all over everyones food. 

“Napping? I was tapping your face for a full minute. I was a second away from just taking you to a hospital.” Chan reasons, he looks genuinely concerned, Seungmin almost feels bad for hoping he choked on his food the other day. 

“Well.. thank you. I’m okay though.” Seungmin lies, he hurts in multiple different areas, and his eyes ache when he moves them. But he’s got shit to do. 

“I appreciate-“ Seungmin withholds a wince when he moves to get up, Chan puts his beefy thick arms out, standing behind Seungmin as he rises like he’s scared he will fall again. “I appreciate your concern but I have someplace to be innn-“ the omega checks the time on his phone. “4 hours ago? Fuck. I have missed calls from everybody, it’s so late already.”

Chan gives Seungmin a sympathetic look, like he’s the reason Seungmin has missed work and cheer practice, as well as valuable study time. “This throws off my entire rhythm I’ve had working the past couple weeks.” the law student tugs at his hair, stressed and incredibly pissed off  at his own lack of disipline. 

No. This isn’t how it was supposed to go, everything was blending together so well, all of his responsibilities keeping him swaddled tightly in a compact process of order. This was really gonna fuck up his cycle.

“Hey, don’t you think that you're worried about the wrong thing here mate? I mean, you just passed out.”

“Napping. I was napping. Shhh. And why are you still here? Thank you for waking me, sorry to bother you but it’s late and we should both go.” Seungmin rises, nearly falling flat on his ass at the way the light of the room and gravity affects his balance. He doesn’t remember being so sensitive to lights, how weird. 

The omega walks across the room, fetching his bag and heading to the exit, before Chan steps in front of him, blocking his way to the door. Him and Seungmin do a little left and right shift, Chan not budging when he tries to get past. It’s very irritating.

“What’s your problem??” Suengmin questions, blinking in blank confusion. “Don’t you think your brushing this off a little too easily?? I mean, you were just laying on the floor breathing so slowly I had to check you for a pulse. And you're as pale as a ghost.” Chan gestures to the omegas' general physique. “Oh dear, guess I should get some sun then.” Seungmin deadpans, staring at the alpha with dwindling tolerance.

“I can’t just let you walk out of here in such poor condition. Are you feeling ok?” Chan tries to press a hand to his forehead, Suengmin gently pushes the limb away, only soft about it since he understands the other is simply being kind. But he doesn't need the affection, he doesn't want it. 

“Don’t you think you're overstepping, Chan-ssi? What does this have to do with you? I’m fine.” Seungmin stares at the other, Chan seems to be in himself losing patience with Seungmin, good, maybe he’ll let him go then.

“You know what you’re right. I’ll tell the others then, so they can-”

 “No!” Suengmin immediately objects, if his friends hear about Chan’s concerns Seungmin will never hear the end of it. He likes being taken care of, but he does not like being harassed and coddled. Plus, there’s nothing going on with him. He’s just busy, it’s accomplishing. It’s a good thing. 

“Well then work with me here Seungmin. You don’t look good at all.” Ouch. ‘Okay, Mr testosterone and protein, I may not be your type but that’s no reason to be a bitch.’   “--when was the last time you ate? How many hours have  you slept within the past week?” 

This guy really was fucking annoying. Seungmin is fine. He just has shit to do. And being here was not helping him with his time management. 

“Are you even listening to me? This isn’t funny.”

“Yes! Yes! I hear you. I’ll do better, but if you really hate the color of my skin so much then I should get some rest.”

“What? No. That’s not-”

“Hyung. It’s just been a rough patch. I’ve gotta get some rest. Just like you said. Right?” 

At the honorific, Chan melts, and it almost makes Seungmin feel bad for manipulating him. 

“Just, don’t tell anyone else. I’ll do better. I promise. I was just a little distracted with the next competition coming up. I’ll be ok.” Seungmin presses, because Chan is caving. And now it’s just a matter of escape. 

“You promise?”

“Yes. I really have to go hyung, I’m tired.”

“.. alright. I’ll promise to keep quiet as long as you promise to be better about yourself.” Chan shifts, standing to the side to allow Seungmin past. 

“Of course, hyung. I’ll see you later. Yeah?” 

And with that, the omega flees. The older male's words left behind in the silence of the studio with him. 

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Seungmin doesn’t sleep that night, to busy locked in his nest, trying to catch up on hours of missed studying and make up for his lack of his favorite betas. Both busy with their own tasks and responsibilities. 

He tells his boss he had a family emergency, desperately hoping to not be fired, and the dear manager, bless her heart, has mercy on him. 

It’s not until late the next day, after a long shift, that Seungmin drags himself back to his and Hyunjin’s dorms, body finally giving out beneath him before he can even get in the shower. He doesn’t think much of it before he fades out of consciousness, too caught up in how many hours of study and practice time he’ll lose if doesn’t get up early before classes. Which unfortunately, turns out to rightfully be the last of his worries. 

The world is dark, Seungmin feels no more conscious than a rock, sitting somewhere motionless and without use. His throat is dry, the back of his head is throbbing, he can't move, and he can’t wake up nor fade back out. But somewhere within his prison, a memory plays. He doesn’t know why, or what it’s coming back to him now for, but even in his paralyzed state, he can identify when the memory is from. 

First year, back when Seungmin was only developing feeling for Felix, and could actually hold a conversation with him. 

“If you love designing and music, why did you become a law major?”

Seungmin shrugs. “I can’t perform forever, I fucked up my shoulder for baseball and I couldnt do that forever either. Plus, I like arguing and law brings in the bacon. It sets me up for a future, so in my free time when I’m not in the courtroom, I can do what I want with the money I make. And, I’m helping others as well as myself. It just checks every box for me for the century or so I’ll be alive. It’s convenient.”

Felix laughs. “You talk about life like it’s some chore, Mimi.” Seungmin tries to ignore the way his heart stutters at the nickname.

 “It is, isn't it? None of us asked to be here, yet just surviving is the most complicated thing ever. I just want my life to not be a failure. This sets me up for that.”

The blonde chuckles, Seungmin likes the sound. “Well you should remember there’s a difference between surviving and living. I think doing the former is pointless without doing the latter. They go hand in hand, probably why their synonyms.”

It’s Seungmin’s turns to laugh, simply because Felix’s presence brings him joy. But he doesn’t let the advice go undocumented, he tucks it away for another time. Because even though he can’t seem to to warrant himself to take it seriously at the moment, he feels the blonde's words will be important in the future. 

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Much to his dismay, Seungmin does not wake up in his own bed, rested and very hungry, yes. But not in his own bed. His nest either, nor the floor, which hasn’t become uncommon these days, no. But a hospital bed.

The room smells like sanitizer and alcohol wipes when he comes to, lights bright above his head and offensive to his sensitive eyes when he blinks them open for what feels like the first time in days. Panic doesn’t flood Seungmin like you’d expect it to, a part of him knew one day either his lovesickness or level 8 supressants would take him out. Most unfortunate he has to go so early. 

“I can see the light.” He croaks as he reaches a sore arm towards the ceiling, multiple relieved giggles and exhales erupting softly from around him. 

“Hi, Seungmin? How are you feeling?” An unfamiliar voice comes from his right, he blinks multiple times to clear his vision which albeit only works a bit considering he isn’t wearing his contacts, but it’s worth a try. He also doesn't turn to see who it is talking to him, no doubt a nurse. It’s not his friends. So it doesn’t matter. 

“Like I need electrolytes and bananas, stat.” He does a weak little punch at the mattress, attack 50, damage 0. Another voice comes from his right. “Yeah, he’s fine.” with a new eruption of laughter from the group, and Seungmin heart monitor increases by tempo when he recognizes it. 

“Oh, my husbands here.” He says, gripping the air in his right hand weakly; still a menace and much bolder only because nothing feels like reality at the moment. He only realizes he’s smelling his boys scents when he’s been awake for a minute or 2, the scent of plain hospital so overbearing. 

Small strong hands push their way into Seungmin’s, he hasn’t yet processed who they are, but he squeezes them happily anyways, before exhaustion overtakes him again, and keeping his eyes open is suddenly a bothersome chore. Seungmiin decides not to fight it. 

“Night.” Is the only warning the room gets before Seungmin fades back out, lacking the strength to stay awake. He hears little hushed sounds of giggles and “night nights” before the white ceiling fades to black again. This time much less alarming. Seungmin sure he’ll be able to escape it when the time is right. 

When he comes too again, things are a lot clearer, he blinks slowly at first, then rapidly, forgetting once again he has no contacts in. When he’s adjusted as well as he can, he chances a look elsewhere not at the ceiling, glancing around the hospital room. What he spots both breaks his heart and heals him.

On the furniture to his left, Hyunjin, Felix, and Jisung are all cuddling on a couch, entangled in one another, contact at multiple points as they sleep. Coconut, cherries, and marshmallows all mix in the general area, and it smells like somebody amongst the 3 is about 2 days pre rut. Whoever it is, they should be preparing a rental room, not sitting in a hospital crammed on a couch because of the Seungmin. 

To his right there’s 2 empty arm chairs, both have scattered accessories and personal items sitting on them, one of them smells like Changbin, wonderful dark chocolate that never fails to bring him comfort, and banana pudding, that makes Seungmin smile with excitement of seeing another one of his favorite people. 

It’s odd to think that he happens to wake up when everybody is here, or- present in the hospital. When he hears footsteps, Seungmin doesn’t know why, but he closes his eyes quickly, waiting in silence as 2, no, 3? Pairs of steps tread into the room. Seungmin smells the third person before he sees him, Chan. What was he doing here? For fucks sake.

“Thanks hyung, for coming to see Seungmin. We were supposed to be here like 30 minutes ago though to be ready for when he wakes up. Why’d you come so late?” 

It’s hard for Seungmin to focus on Changbin’s words when he smells coffee, probably piping hot, wafting into the cool room. Fuck his usual iced americano, that aroma is heavenly, he needs it, now. 

“Well.. I actually came to apologize to you guys.”

The hushed whispers from the 3 of them dead for a moment, Seungmin thinks Minho and Changbin might be looking at each other with question painting their expressions. For a second Seungmin is as confused as they are, perplexed even, until a conversation comes back to him. 

One he Chan had in the studio before he blacked out and woke up in a hospital. 

“Well then work with me then Seungmin. You don’t look good at all --when was the last time you ate? How many hours have you slept within the past week? Are you even listening to me? This isn’t funny.”

“Yes! Yes! I hear you. I’ll do better, but if you really hate the color of my skin so much then I should get some rest.”

“What? No. That’s not-”

“Hyung. It’s just been a rough patch. I’ve gotta get some rest. Just like you said. Right?” 

At the honorific, Chan melts, and it almost makes Seungmin feel bad for manipulating him. 

“Just, don’t tell anyone else. I’ll do better. I promise. I was just a little distracted with the next competition coming up. I’ll be ok.” 

“You promise?”

“Yes. I really have to go hyung, I’m tired.”

“.. alright. I’ll promise to keep quiet as long as you promise to be better about yourself.” 

“Of course, hyung. I’ll see you later. Yeah?” 

Suddenly something clicks into place, and the dull ache he felt after he’d woken up in the studio, eased by now, throbs with the reminder.
Chan thinks him being in the hospital is his fault. And now he’s gonna air Seungmins business out to his hyung’s, and he’ll never hear the end of it. It’s not like he meant to. But they don’t care. If he doesn’t do something, this will prove to be a real inconvenience.

The heart monitor Seungmins hooked to beeps loudly a couple times, the snitching machine, and there’s a shift in the room. Three bodies move to look at the omegas' motionless figure, before Changbin speaks to interrupt the silence. “Min?”

Silence follows again, and Seungmin decides the jig is up. He does a little finger twitch for dramatics, before fluttering his eyes open, blinking at the 3 figures standing near his bed. They crowd around, Binne on the left, Chan and Minho on the right. 

“Hey baby. How you feelin’?” Changbin brushes his hair off of his forehead, no doubt nappy strands sweeping back and falling over his face again. “Like shit.” Seungmin responds, Changbin and Chan laugh, Minho just stares at him. “You look like it too.”

“That's rich coming from you, hyung.” Seungmin reaches a stiff arm up, grabbing and holding Minho’s hand. Usually, Minho would pull away and buck at him, even actually hit him on occasion, but now, he looks worried and tired. It breaks Seungmin’s heart. Which completely shatters when his usually stubborn hyung takes his arm, feeling his pulse in his wrist and kissing it, holding his hand tightly.

“You stupid little sophomore. Your supposed to be smarter than those idiots, and you go and overwork yourself into a coma, you make me sick. I’m tired of you.”  Minho says, trying to add bite to his words, but it doesn’t work much when Seungmin can see worried tears welling in his eyes, poker face weakening with his wobbling voice; and hands that are holding onto Seungmin for dear life. 

“Coma??” Seungmin questions, eyes wide with question at the word. “What the hell happened?”

“You overexerted yourself Mr. Kim.” A new voice comes, polite, clear, a woman, a nurse. She walks into the room, dark hair in double braids, clipboard hugged to her chest.

“Hi. My names Nurse Nina, I was responsible for monitoring you the past week.”

“Week??” Seungmin croaks, he has the urge to freak out, sit up, something, but he has no bodily strength. All of what he can muster is going to holding onto Minho’s hand. 

“Yes sir, week. You’ve been here, at the hospital with us for 7 days. Unconscious and in a mostly medically induced coma. We had to give you a generous amount of medicine so your body had time to recover, so your time out was prolonged. When your friends brought in they said you wouldn’t wake up, but that you were breathing and still had a pulse. You were indeed alive, but you showed concerning signs of exhaustion, overexertion, starvation, dehydration, and stress. Not to mention you had an untreated head injury, which was why you couldn’t wake up.”

As the nurse explains his symptoms, Seungmin can’t help but be horrified at his own state of body. That doesn’t sound like him at all. Seungmin works hard, but he’s not so driven to the point of being made into a hospital patient.

“Wait wait wait, you're right I don’t remember eating or drinking or sleeping much, but I hadn’t done that on purpose. I don’t do that- I-”

“As much as I want to scold him for being so careless I have to admit it really doesn't sound like him. It’s unusual.” Changbin chimes in, gesturing towards Seungmins fragile frame in the bed. 

“Of course not Mr. Seo, it wasn’t. This is what we like to call UDOS, or unconscious disregard of self-perseverance. When he scanned Mr.kims head to see the damage of his injury it showed us there was no activity in his right parietal lobe, meaning his self awareness had been influenced by a set of goals. In other words, your brain worked against your body to complete the things you set your mind to.”

“This actually happens quite often. In college students such as you all and even in older adults with grand jobs and many responsibilities. “I’d hate to make it seem like you going into a coma is a good thing, but it turns out when you hit your head and it sent you into the coma, your mind.. How do I put this simply? Reset? So you have your self awareness back. For example. Are you hungry?

“Starving.”

“Thirsty?”

“Parched.”

“Are you aware you have a heat soon?”

“Sadly.”

“Great! You see? You're all too educated on where you stand now. I know you're feeling weak and helpless right now, but that’s a good thing. It means your mind is taking your body into account once again, making you a relevant factor in your path to success. Which is how it always should be. You should always come first, Mr. Kim. No amount of success is worth your life. Please remember that.”

Seungmin nods in understanding, everything sinking in. It all seems to make sense now, everything playing apart. But as much as he doesn’t want to get Chan in trouble or relive the unfortunate symptoms of his UDOS, there’s still a piece missing. 

The Omega looks at Chan, who’s playing with his fingers. He gives the man a sincere look of apology before he opens his mouth to ask his next question.

“I understand so far, but if what gave me my concussion came from me hitting my head then that means it started when I hit my head in the studio and continued when I went to sleep that night. How is that possible?”

“What?? You hit your head and you didn’t tell anybody?” Minho is the first to get on him, he squeezes his hand in a crushing grip, Seungmin whines in response. “Hyung!” 

“I’m afraid that his neglect to pay attention to his injury was also made by his UDOS, but very good question Mr. Kim. Great looking out.” 

Minho’s hold on him gradually loosens at the nurses words, but the second oldest still glares at him like he’s done it on purpose. 

“ To answer your question, Mr. Kim, I’m going to have to assume that you were on that floor in the studio where you say you hit your head for multiple hours before you were able to regain consciousness and proceed back to your dorm where your friends found you. Something would have had to wake you up while you were there, but we’ll discuss that later.” 

Nurse Nina glances at Chan as she says this, and Seungmin thinks at some point while he was out even if Chan wasn’t as gracious about showing up during visiting hours, he still made sure the tell her what happened. And Seungmin is grateful.

“While you were unconscious —the first time—  the swelling in your brain somehow managed to go down while you were out. This tells us that the degree at which you hit your head was only enough to keep you in a coma for a short while, which is why the last four days of your coma was 

Medically induced. But because you didn’t come to receive care the first time after you woke up it got worse, which in turn kept you out for a longer period of time. The medicine he gave you was strong, which is why you were out for an additional few days, but it also made sure the swelling your brain was not going to go back up.” 

“Dammit Min, you know how lucky we got this time that it wasn’t worse? Who woke you up? What kind of person pulls you unconsciousness and leaves you there for it to get worse?” Changbin sounds angry, Seungmin can smell the dark chocolate and banana pudding coming off of both of them in angry aggression waves, obliterating Chan’s scent of concern and fear. He pointedly does not look at the eldest alpha, the other two are much too observant. 

Aware of his own intentions are not, the only reason Chan let him go that day was because he asked him to. It wouldn’t be fair for him to bear the burden of his friends, no, their friends because Seungmin’s stupid brain was working against him. As much as he disliked Chan at first, it just doesn’t seem right. 

“ Some athlete from the dance department, I don’t remember his name or his face, but he needed the studio. Don’t blame him. It wasn’t his fault. I’m fine, that’s what matters.” 

At his request, Minho and Changbin drop it. Seungmin doesn’t miss the look of sincerity Chan gives him. Something about the expression screams grateful and humble, and despite his earlier issues, he doesn’t regret helping other male. Why? Seungmin isn’t particularly sure himself.

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

It’s a few hours later, when Jisung and Hyunjin are crammed to the sides of him in his hospital bed, Felix and Minho sitting at the foot, when nurse Nina is monitoring Seungmin as he downs 3 cups of electrolyte water. She laughs as he finishes the liquids in record time, Minho telling him to slow down before he chokes and water boards himself with a fond eye roll.

“Alright Mr.kim, you’ll have to drink a little more to restore strength in your body, before you have any caffeinated beverages. But you can eat what you like. I can get you food from the cafeteria, or your friends can go get you something. Plenty of salt and light on the sugar, but now that your awake we’d like to keep you and monitor you for about 3 more days. If all keeps looking up, we can release you at the end of that trial. How’s that sound?”

“Wonderful!” Jisung cheers, as if his last name is kim. When Seungmin makes no objections, the nurse takes it as a go ahead, smiling after checking something on her clipboard and exiting the room. 

“They need to give that woman a raise, she was so attentive the whole time you’ve been here.” Felix is the first to speak, scrolling through his ipad for places for them to get food, Changbin pointing at something on the screen.

“A better subject would be me feeling like we should be scolding you for letting your health get so bad. But then again we hadn’t noticed, and you’d done so unconsciously, so-” Hyunjin contemplates, scratching his head.

“We could always scold him for simply working too hard.” Felix supplies, the room is silent for a moment, and Seungmin lets out an exasperated sigh, all too aware of what’s coming next. 

The space erupts into chaotic scoldings coming from every direction, all of the boys talking over each other. With them finally having a valid reason to come at Seungmin, they hold nothing back. The omega doesn’t know whether to roll his eyes or smile, so he does both.

“Okay okay okay! I get it, I’m sorry, please shut up.” Seungmin yells over their combined volume, unusually loud. But it seems it’s the only thing that can stop them from tearing him to pieces before he can even be conscious for a full day. 

“I don’t think you do Simmie. You don’t understand how scary it was when we tried to wake you up and you wouldn’t budge. I nearly had a heart attack.” Jisung tells him from his left, Hyunjin on his right tailing on. “Yeah. I was alarmed but Jisung started crying immediately, he was balling like a newborn.” 

“Dude, shut up! I had a really long day!” Jisung reaches over Seungmin, hitting Hyunjin for ratting him out. “Aw Sungie, you were crying for me? I knew you were obsessed with me but you’ve got to keep it together.”

Seungmin knows now isn’t the time for jokes, but he can’t help but poke fun at them. He’s just so gullible. “Don’t start with me! You were in a coma! I had the right to be emotional.” 

“Of course Sungie, I love you, I’m so grateful.” Seungmin dramatically wraps his arms around the others neck, placing strategically wet kisses on the betas face. Jisung groans in disgust at the saliva, but otherwise lets him. His cherries are full of contentment and relief, as are the rest of their scents, it almost makes Seungmin wanna give them real kisses.

The mood settles from joyful to simplistic after a while, casual chatter and catching up about everyone’s lives and the week Seungmin missed, even Chan. Who the omega can tell is still battling an inner turmoil, no doubt about him. He’ll have to talk to the other later, but he’s grateful the alpha lays their unforgettable topic to rest for now. 

Changbin spoils Seungmin and gets him a seafood boil. So now he sits in his hospital bed with his friends, getting full whilst they scent him heavily, beta and alpha aromas drowning him till his own cinnamon is undetectable. 

It was that way anyways, Seungmins scent is weak from his lack of food and water over the past couple weeks, on top of that there's 5 other people in his room, all feeling protective and territorial after a serious scare. So his not being on scent blockers or suppressants mean little to nothing right about now. 

There’s a lot of details. They have to work out while Seungmin it’s still admitted, but he thinks everything is gonna be okay. Because at the end of the day, things worked out. 

Chapter Text

While their awaiting word from doctors, Felix suggests they do something to celebrate Suengmin’s release after finding out that he’d be okay. 

They decide on a game night on Seungmin’s discharge day. His nurses and doctors put him on house arrest, so no work or practice for a few more days post discharge. Because of this, the boys are taking care of his shopping and school stuff, helping him to get everything back in order. Seungmin was also advised to quit his job if he wanted to continue cheer and studying law. So Jisung takes his release forms up to the restaurant for him.

He isn’t thrilled about not being able to keep working, his rented studio and weekly grocery shopping for his dorm certainly not going to fare well with the loss, but his health has to come first. In time, he will figure it out. But for now, like Nurse Nina had said, no amount of success is worth his life. He got lucky last time, but if anything along the lines of his hospital trip were to happen again the odds may not be in his favor next time. So sacrifices have to be made. 

“Ordered sweets since hyung is cooking! I got all you guy’s favorites, AND I got tequilaaaaa. ” Jisung says that night. When himself, Felix, Hyunjin and Seungmin are gathered in Changbin’s apartment, music playing as they organize card and board games in the living room, Minho cooking in the kitchen. 

Changbin insisted Seungmins game night be at his and Minho’s apartment, since their dorms don't have the space for all of them, and to make sure while Seungmin is on lockdown he’s actually relaxed and comfortable during his first night out of the hospital. Damn alpha’s and their protective urges. Yet, he agreed, because after being under such stress for so many weeks at a time, it was nice to be taken care of. Even if it is kind of like being babysat. 

Minho helped Seungmin with getting back on his feet, assisting him with walks around the hospital to get his body working again for his remaining days, even carrying him up and down the apartment's stairs. He also shook the omegas walker to scare the shit out of him at least 4 times when he was still checked in at the hospital, because he has to fuck with Seungmin, or he’ll explode. 

Felix was reassurance. The entire time he was recovering, he told Seungmin there would be a place waiting for him on the team only when he was at 100%. And that he was still beautiful despite missing his monthly haircut and being pale as a ghost from lack of food. I meant all the more when he felt like he was at his lowest. Though it’s much harder to hide his speeding heartbeat when he’s hooked up to a monitor. That was the most traumatizing part of it all. 

The 6 of them are deep into a game of uno, Minho kicking everyone’s ass and Seungmin hot on his heels –no doubt cheating– when someone knocks at the front door. The group freezes upon hearing the noise, every head whipping around to look in the direction, then at each other in question before it comes again. 

Changbin stands from his spot on the floor, approaching the door and swinging it open to find a shy Chan standing in the hallway. “Heyy hyung! What are you doin here? Come on in.” Changbin smiles, stepping out of the way to let the older male in, Chan returning the warmth as he enters, soju clutched under his arm. 

“Alcohol!” Jisung cheers, making grabby hands towards the bottle as Chan comes closer. “Hey guys, Felix invited me. And Seungmin told me I could swing by, I wasn’t gonna come at first, but you know how convincing he can be.” He chuckles, suddenly Seungmin feels dread at having considered the alpha. 

Felix invited him? To his game night? Why?? Overall, Seungmin has no problem with him coming. He’s actually starting to like him. But why had Felix of all people invited him? And why had Chan only decided to show up when Yonbok asked him? Kind of fucked up if you asked Seungmin. 

As the rooms other occupants chat, Seungmin realizes he’s staring. He quickly averts his eyes, trying to blink away his negative thoughts. Tonight was supposed to be a fun evening for rejuvenation and quality time, Chan is here, does it matter so much by who’s request? 

‘No. It doesn’t. Just have fun.’ the omega tells himself, taking a deep breath in and letting a large exhale out. For a while, he does just that, the thought forgotten. The consideration for Chan’s invitation forgotten. 

When the entire group gangs up on him with a horrifyingly coordinated repeat of thrown plus fours, Seungmin slams his pile down, demanding they restart and begin a new game for Chan.

“You're so full of shit, Minnie.” Changbin groans.

“Sore loser much?” Minho teases. 

“Hey! I’m not on my A game, I just got out of a coma I’ll have you know. This is unfair, this game takes steady cognitive function.” Seungmin defends.

“Which we all know you don’t have.” Minho tells him, the group giggling.

“This is bullying! My cognitive function was interrupted! For a week! Rematch or it never happened.”

“That’s so petty, Simmie. You do know you can’t restart just because you suck!” Jisung joins in.

“Yeah. You holding half the deck has nothing to do with us.” Hyunjin agrees, adding fuel to the fire lit beneath Kim Seungmin’s ass. 

“All of you can fuck yourselves actually.” Seungmin makes a heart with his hands, just to be a little shit. “We’re starting over!” he insists, snatching the stacks from each of them one by one and failing terribly at shuffling them, the group laughing at his demise. He gives the stack to Chan, who does it perfectly, much to the destruction of Seungmin’s pride, the others telling him his playing is almost as bad as his deck handling.

“I hope all of your knots ache and cramp.” Seungmin wishes as Chan is passing out the cards. 

“Hey hey hey! Knot aches are very real and very painful.” Felix laughs, mildly offended. “I’ll make sure to put it on my Christmas list, and slip Santa a little bit of substance to get it through.” Seungmin doesn’t miss a beat.

“If I said I hope your slick clots I’d be wrong.” Minho adds.

“Oh fuck off hyung.” He shoots back.

“Alrighttt, how bout we play roulette this time? Which means instead of one winner there’s one loser, and everyone drops from the game as they claim victory.” Chan explains, hums of agreement coming from amongst the table. 

“Bet someone 50 it’s gonna be the dog.” Minho says, situating his cards in his hold. 

“I’ll bet on Seungminnie. I think he’ll get at least fourth.” Felix bargains. 

“Look! At least Lix believes in me! The rest of you are vultures.” 

“What about me??” hyunjin looks comically heartbroken at the claim, dramatic as always. 

“Last time I checked you were the first one to trigger that wave of plus fours last round, you're the worst of them.” 

Hyunjin gasps exaggeratedly, whipping his head around to look at the omega. “How was I supposed to know it would make it all the way back to you Minnie! That’s so unfair!”

“What’s unfair is how I’m about to smoke all of you.” Changbin chimes in, placing down the first card and kicking off the game.

After nearly 2 hours of repeated offenses, friend turning on friend, Minho and Chan are the first to win. Chan excuses himself to the restroom while Hyunjin and Seungmin are neck and neck, both constantly adding and removing from their remaining card, just shy of a victorious ‘Uno!’ that will claim third place victory.

Regrettably, Felix gets there first, yelling righteously and earning groans from the rest of them who can’t seem to get as lucky. Right after the blondes finish, Seungmin’s vision begins to spot, the room bursting with white and black splotches. His thoughts are horribly unsteady as the post coma symptoms Nurse Nina warned him about take over, scaring the living crap out of him for the few seconds they exist, despite this not being the first time it’s happened. 

“Dammit..” he curses quietly, Changbin looks over at him, noticing the fatigue, helping him ground his swaying with a gentle yet steady hand around his shoulders. “Your medicine is on the bathroom counter, I’ll go get it.” Minho says, placing his cards down.

“No no, I got it. I’m alright hyung. You’ve done enough for me tonight ahjussi. I’ve got to figure out how to do it myself eventually.” He smirks at the others' annoyed expression. “ Thanks anyways.” 

Seungmin’s spotted vision and post coma stress don’t allow him to take into account the fewer bodies in the room before he leaves it, treading down the hall slowly and carefully towards the bathroom. By time his lack of awareness fades, he’s already entered the space, no consideration for the light being already on.

In the bathroom, in a fucked up and familiar display of scenery, Felix and Chan are once again pressed together, pulled apart only by Seungmin’s accidental discovery of them. This time around though, Seungmins take on it is much more aggressive than it had been the first time. Not only because this has happened before, but also because realistically, this is not the time or place for this. Here? Now? For fucks sake. Was whatever they have going on that important?

Without the broken heart of a man scorned, and more so the rage of a women fed up, Seungmins brain to mouth filter disappears, not that it was all that present before.

“Seriously? Get a fucking room.” he spits, walking deeper into the place without batting an eye, bending down to the floor to pick up his bottle of medicine that they no doubt knocked down while sucking each others faces.

The more fragile emotion only presents itself above the irritation when he smells their combined scents again, and he’s reminded why he’s so fed up with it in the first place. Seungmin can feel his throat tightening, he swallows, quickly exiting the bathroom and making sure to slam the door shut behind him as he goes.

“And learn to lock the damn door!” He adds from the other side. He wasn’t gonna act like this didn’t bother him this time. He has the right now, because tonight was to be for him. Quality time. If you only wanted to suck face why do it here? In the middle of something important? Bullshit. He wasn’t dealing with this right now. He’s not supposed to be stressing or upset, such emotions can worsen his post coma symptoms, but he doesn’t have much of a choice at the moment. 

The worst part? Felix knew that. Maybe he wasn’t aware seeing him and Chan together would worsen Seungmins mood but still, time and place. Common sense amongst decency maybe? 

As Seungmin stomps through the living room, he approaches the front door, putting his shoes on and hooking his bag over his shoulder, the rest of them turn to look at him, looks of confusion on their faces at his frantic movements.

“Seungmin? What happened?” Jisung asks first.

“I’m leaving.” he states simply, struggling to get his second shoe on when a wave of dizziness takes him hostage, Minho is behind him in a second, catching his weight and setting him down on one of the bar chairs. 

“Alright, Seungmo, if you really wanna go I’ll take you back, but slow down. Your gonna overdo it.” Minho tells him, kneeling at his feet to finish putting on his second shoe for him. 

“Wait! Minnie you can’t leave. Tonight is for you!” Hyunjin pleads, hanging over the back of the couch with pinched eyebrows in identical fashion to Jisung. “Yeah. Are you okay??” Jisung begs, the pair seem genuinely upset by his early departure, Seungmin hates how he feels bad on top of already feeling whatever it is he’s harboring for Felix, but he can’t help it. His whole being just feels so… fragile.

It’s a reality he despises, sad yet true. 

He isn’t safe in a studio with Jisung, or on a bike with Minho, or in his nest with Hyunjin. He’s in the open, endangered and quaking in front of everyone. This is the opposite of the night of comfort he was promised. 

When Seungmin hears the bathroom dorm open down the hall, he swings the front door open without another moments hesitation. If any of them wanted answers, they got it when Felix came out of the restroom, trailed by Chan and calling Seungmins name as he and Minho head out the door. 

“Hey hey hey! Where are you going? Game Night hasn’t even started!” Felix calls, but Seungmin keeps walking. He doesn’t have the tolerance to stomach this. “I’ll be downstairs.” Minho tells him, patting his butt before descending the steps.

“Seungmin!” The blonde calls again, this time he doesn’t accept ignorance as an answer, he grabs the others arm and whips him around, the strength in his tiny body still never fails to amaze Seungmin, as well impress his omega. 

“This isn’t about you, Lix. Well- it is- but it-...” Seungmin sighs, frustrated tears starting to well in his eye sockets. His attempt at trying not to be an ass is dwindling. “It isn’t your responsibility! It’s not your fault and I’ve tried to ignore it for your sake but being in the same vicinity as you only makes it worse! I can’t keep subjecting myself to this. I don’t want to. I shouldn’t have to. I didn’t ask for this. I wanna go home..” Seungmin rants, staring down at the pavement.

“What do you mean this . Seungmin?? If you have something to say then say it!” 

“I don’t! I don’t have anything to say. I just wanna go home!”

 Seungmin had to get out of there, and fast. His words were beginning to choke off, making him feel like he couldn't breathe. People say love is a beautiful thing, but right now it’s only causing him to feel like he’s being strangled, by a powerful and ugly emotion. 

Felix looks frustrated, tiny hands gripping into fists as his expression turns into something angry and irritated. “We are adults, Seungmin.” Felix starts, approaching the omega in a way that exhibits repressed aggression. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen such body language be expressed by the community’s sunshine.

“Kim Seungmin, the law student who despite his subgender, is top of his class. All his assignments get turned in on time, all his classes have perfectly kept attendance. He’s intelligent, he’s beautiful.” The itty bitty alpha says as he closes in on the other, pacing a circle around the taller boy. Seungmin feels like a victim. 

“Punctual, hardworking, strong willed, bold.” Felix continues, stopping when he comes face to face with the other again. “He’s a fake.” 

Seungmin feels a now familiar ball of irritation materialize in his chest as anger rips through him. How dare he say that to him? It’s purposely fucking insulting. For Felix, such a sweet soul, and Seungmin’s soft spot, to discredit the reputation he worked his whole college life to create. 

“You want everyone to believe that omega’s can be strong individuals, who are confident in themselves and independent enough to build their lives using their own intelligence and skills. Because they’ve got both, just  like everybody else does. But you're doing the opposite. You major in law to prove a point, to show everyone that you can. But not because you want to. This was never about you. Nothing ever is. You can’t ever let yourself have anything. You can’t let yourself be happy, or celebrate the accomplishments you’ve made. Because you can’t seem to appreciate what you are and what you have with how caught up you’ve been in what everyone else might think and what stereotypes you might fall into. You're so caught up in being the omega who breaks them, proving everyone wrong. You're forgetting that it’s not about proving society wrong, it’s about having the power and the choice to be who you are and choose what you want. You can’t let yourself have your passion, you can’t let yourself have a break, you can’t let yourself admit you love me! And it’s driving the both of us insane!”

Felix is shaking in frustration and Seungmin is shaking in shame, simply listening as the other man judges his entire being. He knows the blonde is purposely controlling his volume because they’re in an apartment complex, but he’s still surprised nobodys exited their homesto see them both having a showdown in the middle of the sidewalk.

“The reality of it all, is that your subgender shouldn’t have ever mattered from the beginning! You preach omega’s can do this and that and be this and that but omega, alpha and beta is only a form of identification! Not a definition! But you're too blinded by sub gender politics to understand that. Too blinded by goals to enjoy the journey. It’s no longer affecting just you though, it’s making me suffer as well. This whole time I just know you’ve been chanting in your head “I’m in love with an alpha” over and over again. Why does it matter that I’m an alpha??  I thought when I first realized your crush after we met in the first year you’d grow out of this, but here we are! 2 years later. And you’re still focused on the wrong thing.”

Felix’s words are burning holes in Seungmin’s being, not only because they are hurtful, but because they are true. And it seems everything he’s avoided talking about in the past 2 years since becoming a student here has caught up to him, and been dumped over his head like a bucket of freezing cold water. 

“Life is more than a chore, or a political argument, Mimi. It’s about living, not survival. We aren’t segregated animals. And I won’t indulge into whatever's going on between us if you refuse to acknowledge that. We’re both suffering here for no reason! Because you can’t get your head out of your ass!” Felix punctuates his sentence with a desperate exhale, like he’s been holding this back a long time. 

Maybe it’s because Seungmin has been so crippled under the weight of being in love that he hadn’t noticed when Felix caught onto the fact that he was falling hard, or that he could see his insecurities and flaws as clear as plexy class. 

But who was Felix to sit in his face and tell him he needed to change? All his talk of realization and maturity, about not actually being honest when he’d seen a locked door and withheld the key until today, when the beating coming from the other side disturbed his peace. 

Seungmin isn’t a fool, and maybe he isn’t the enlightened and rule breaking omega he wanted to be, but he wasn’t selfish. 

He sure as hell didn’t invite his sex buddy to a get together meant for his sick friend, make out with him there, and then trash the ambitions of said sick friend knowing he had a crush on him. Only to tell him he was too much of a shipwreck for me to reciprocate. No over exaggerations.  

 
“So what? You get to come out here and yell at me for my poor life decisions? I’m sorry your so perfect and confident that you have to rub your wise knowledge in my face, since I’m such a fucking disaster! We can’t all be perfect sunshine boys, with everything figured out and everyone worshipping us. Maybe I’ve got shit to learn, and maybe that really does mean I’m not ready to be with you, but I’ll be damned if your gonna sit here and lecture me for being the human you just went out of your way to claim I should realize I am. Fuck you! Go back making out with your beefy alpha boyfriend at my fucking gamenight and stop pretending like you care.”--

Felix is the one who looks hurt now, eyes wide and sparkling as he listens to Seungmin give shit as well as he takes it. He tries to speak, but the omega doesn’t let him get a word in.

—“You do realize that you only think life isn’t defined by subgender because you're on the other side of it. You're an alpha, you always have it good. Everybody respects you, everybody sees you on the higher side of the food chain. You can do what you want cause when an alpha does it their a boss, and admirably strong willed. When an omega does it, they’re insolent and sassy. Their disobedient. It’s wrong because for some reason that’s out of place. I’m sorry for trying  to stand for something.”--

– “Being in love with you is exhausting, you purposely ignore my feelings for you and don’t lift a fucking finger to assist me where you know I could use it just because you feel like I was too dense about my own life?” Seungmin scoffs. “Some friend you're supposed to be. In love with you or not, I would have helped you. And I certainly wouldn’t have made it harder. If you knew I liked you it only makes sense you knew I didn’t mean to agree to join the team. You were also aware I had a law degree to earn. Ridiculous! I thought you cared about me, but it’s clear you just feel sorry for me. And you know what? I don’t need your pity. I’m going back to my dorm. Enjoy the night you purposely ruined for me, Yongbok. I hope you were satisfied. Since clearly that’s all you’ve been chasing the past 2 years.”

With that, Seungmin marches off into the night, he only lets his tears fall down his cheeks once his back is to Felix, who this time says nothing and does nothing while Seungmin flees, cursing under his breath. As he gets farther from the alpha, his wails and sniffles get more aggressive. There’s so much happening to him internally as he walks. Humiliation, longing, the yearning his omega is doing from within himself. When he climbs on Minho’s bike, his hyung doesn't tease, just rubs his thigh as he cries. Unlike someone, Minho actually understands the baggage of the term time and place.

“I’ll have Binne clear the others out, so we can just go for a drive and you can stay with us tonight. I’ll tell Jisung and Hyunjin.” He says. Seungmin cuddles into his frame, simply nodding as they pull off into the night. 

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Despite how he feels, Seungmin has to return to his dorm at some point. And he will. When he’s ready to. 

Upon doctor's instructions, Seungmin isn’t to return to school until his post coma symptoms lessen. Apparently he’s a fall hazard.

Thanks to his hospital receipts, all his absences are excused, so his perfect attendance is more or less still flawless. But it’s the material he feels like he’s lacking, the education he’s supposed to be getting to rightfully be called a law student that he’s missing out on. 

Typically, Seungmin would be itching to return to his classes and show up every alpha in a 100 foot radius, but surprisingly enough, he isn’t eager to get back. He’s excited to be spending his time watching fashion shows and designing, taking trips to his tiny storage studio to bring his work to life, sending Changbin and Minho to their classes in his new pieces, using them as his own personal models. 

He’s never liked law, and he doesn’t want to confront the root of that feeling, knowing he’ll encounter the memory of Felix’s words if he digs too deep. It’s shameful to know he was so right about Seungmin, to be aware that his reason for ignoring his feelings was so valid. 

“You major in law to prove a point, to show everyone that you can. But not because you want to. This was never about you. Nothing ever is. You can’t ever let yourself have anything. You can’t let yourself be happy, or celebrate the accomplishments you’ve made. Because you can’t seem to appreciate what you are and what you have with how caught up you’ve been in what everyone else might think and what stereotypes you might fall into.”

Ouch. It was a solid and nasty read. Seungmin hates how true it is. But despite the faithful nature of the statement –and everything else Felix said– Seungmin still refuses to call or speak  to him. He’s considering quitting the cheer team as well. He’s already missed ‘ So You Think You Can Cheer’ preliminaries due to his coma. 

Not only because he doesn’t wanna be associated with a certain alpha, but also out of fear of fucking up the teams momentum with his healing process. Seungmin knows healing is slow, and it can’t be helped, he’s human. But it takes a lot of patience that the law student doesn't know if he has. 

Soon enough, he goes back to his dorm to work towards picking his life back up once he’s better, and despite his want to just be at peace, Seungmin can’t seem to catch a break. Not even with who he thought would help him adjust to life after such a hard journey. Crush, workload, coma, healing. Why can’t he just relax for one day with his best friends?

“I know you and Lix are really into it right now. But I feel like you guys should make up.” Jisung makes the mistake of saying when Seungmin comes around.

Irritation strikes through Seungmin’s chest like a sword. It’s fast, hot, and aggressive. He whips his head around to look at the beta, who visibly recoils at the reactions he’s having. Seungmin prays that he’s misheard him. 

“What the hell is your problem, Jisung?” 

The other is seems taken aback by the harsh use of his actual name, but Seungmin doesn't let up. He doesn’t have time for this, what type of friend of his just tries to blow past what’s happening like it’s a debate about an irrelevant topic? We're talking about his feelings for the past 2 years being neglected for absolutely no reason. And if there was a reason, it was a petty one.

“So you really meant it when you said you won’t take sides? It makes me wonder, did you know Felix was ignoring my feelings cause he thought I was too shallow to be with him?”

“You were too– what? It wasn’t like that. He was just-”

“He was just what??  Are you finally going to tell me what it’s like on the other side? Now that I’ve already worked myself to the bone while trying to be better? Now that I’ve already caught him sucking face with Chris at the game night that was made to nurse me back to health? “

Jisung bites his lip at that, his own building fury quickly coming to a halt when the omega makes a valid point.

Seungmin is angry, yet his tone is surprisingly even, though his face is pulled to express nothing but pure ache. It hurts. It all hurts. Seungmin can’t believe that Jisung was trying to defend Felix at a time like this. He didn’t even give him time to just be angry. Well, maybe he did. But who was he to be rushing Seungmin to forgive? After all, he lives with Felix. There’s no way he just didn’t know anything. Not to mention past conversations hinting at him being more than he let on. 

“Minnie, come on. He just wants the best for you. The both of y-”

“You know what, Jinnie.” Seungmin slams his iPad shut. The design he was working on suddenly disintegrating to nothing but forgotten deja vu with the fire of his sudden developing attitude. “I’m just gonna go home. I don’t feel like hearing this. It’s too early and too late at the same time. I’m leaving.” the omega announces, shoving his things in his tote and taking his bag full of clothes, at which he had brought back to their dorm with him, before he slips into his shoes. 

“But Minnie!” Hyunjin pouts, looking hurt. Seungmin shoves down whatever pangs in his chest at the pairs matching expressions of disappointment. “This is your home.” Jisung finishes for the other beta. 

“Yeah.. well you guys aren’t making it feel like one.”

࣪ ִֶָ☾.

Unfortunately for him, over the weeks his symptoms don't seem to be lessening. Fatigue still takes him down a couple times a day, he still passes out from what the doctors tell him is autonomic dysfunction. Which they don’t think is permanent. But their uncertainty on the subject is not comforting.

It’s only when a month has passed and he hasn't been able to go back to school that Seungmin returns to the doctor again, fed up with his own lack of function. 

He expects to be released after an hour or so by his usual doctor. But oddly enough, it’s not only Nurse Nina who enters, but Doctor Phillip as well. Apparently he was the one who helped Nurse Nina diagnose Seungmin with UDOS. And now he’s here. Once again, when Seungmin is supposed to be told his healing process is going well. The omega’s heart immediately drops into his stomach when he sees the expressions on their faces.

“What the hell is going on..” Seungmin sighs, usually he’d have a lot more patience and respect for the people taking care of him. But Seungmin is tired. He’s so tired. And it seems things just keep getting worse. 

“Seungmin.” Nurse Nina starts, they’ve become friendly with one another, which is probably why she’s the one breaking whatever news this is to him. “We thought your symptoms were simply the side effects of your concussion and coma. But it turns out the fall you had was a lot worse than you think, and you were a lot more exhausted when it happened than we could have thought.”

Seungmin takes a deep breath in, releasing it slowly and gradually, attempting to calm his aggressively beating heart.

“Your fall, when you hit the ground, didn't only affect your parietal lobe, but also your autonomic nervous system, which regulates involuntary bodily functions like heart rate and blood pressure. In short, you have a fainting disorder. Your fatigue isn’t just plain old side effects, your losing consciousness for minutes at a time. You don’t notice because you’ve been tucked away from activity, but it’s a potentially dangerous condition. The official term for it is POT’s. It usually is due to overactive nervous systems that are naturally developed, but you’ve adopted this symptom after awaking from your coma. Which in turn has given you said condition.”

Seungmin stares at the women wide eyed, unsure of how to go about this situation. 

So that’s it? He just had to live with a fainting condition for god knows how long? Unsure of if he’d ever go back to normal or heal fully from his accident? When that’s all it was from the start; a simple accident. 

“Look at it this way, Seungmin.” Nina draws closer as Doctor Phillip turns to leave them to themselves. “That fall you had could have been fatal. But it wasn’t. You woke up. With a few new inconvenient side effects, yes. But you're alive. And this is a reminder. It’s telling you to live everyday to the fullest, and to be happy. You have no idea when it could all come to an end. So you have to make the best of it.

Chapter Text

Seungmin’s diagnoses puts a lot into perspective for him. 

Nurse Nina’s words weren’t said merely as a distraction to get him not to break down about his case in the doctors office, or to get his mind off of what he was losing. 

They were so much more than that. 

If that wasn’t it, you may ask, then why? Why take the time to tell 1 out of probably hundreds of patients that he should take his survival as a lesson? Why put in the extra effort? Why try so hard?

Well, it’s quite simple really, if you think about it.

‘It’ as in the way she worded what she said to Seungmin, and how she has grown to be more than his doctor over the past couple of weeks. 

It’s a reminder. 

Felix had been.. Incorrect in his delivery of what he thought about Seungmin. But what wasn’t incorrect was his take from Seungmin and the way he was going about life. His opinion on what the omega had been doing wrong and the way he’d been going about building his future.

Seungmin was like any other human. He’d forgotten and neglected the meaning of his own words, gone so far to prove a point that goes against what he was taught. And what he’d taught other people. 

He was human before he was an omega.

He had interests, hopes, dreams, likes, hobbies. As good as it felt to prove everyone who said omega’s don’t belong in law wrong, that wasn’t where his heart longed to be. It wasn’t what his hands itched to do, it wasn’t what occupied his mind and took up space in his conscious throughout his day.

No matter how many pieces of clothing he makes, or gowns he designs, or sketches he draws in his quickly filling pad pages, there is no true satisfaction in passion. He won’t be able to get rid of the need to create, or his love for designing. Much like he won’t be able to get rid of his love for Felix.

He’s tried, truly. Time and time again. And he thinks even if Felix was wrong for how he went about his affection for Seungmin –making them both suffer for no reason– there’s a reason he hasn’t been able to get over him for nearly 2 years. 

Wrong in so many ways but right in even more, Lee Yongbok had been. Seungmin loved to design. That was where his heart was. And he was too blind sided by going against what everybody else expected, to let himself have it. Like he said. 

This theory can be applied to both situations, but Seungmin is beginning to think that when there’s a love there for it, if you want it badly enough, the only option is to go get it. And he was gonna do just that. He was gonna go get it. Go get him . 

Seungmin had already missed the preliminaries and qualification rounds of the ‘ So You Think You Can Cheer’ competition, much to his own dismay. Especially after all his extra practice. 

His bed rest and coma made it so he wasn’t able to learn the routine in time, nor make it to the preliminaries. So the team has had to work around his sickness and function without the participation of who was supposed to be their lead flyer. 

With that being said, there’s only one event left in the competition as well as the school year. Around this time in college life, things get serious. Second year is coming to an end, and they're about to be juniors. Seungmin has had a lot of time to think about everything that has happened over the course of the past few months.

This includes Felix’s words as well as Nurse Nina’s, the relationships he has with his friends alongside the stability of his school life and how much he actually cares about the subject he’s making his life about. Something has to change. Actually, a couple of things have to change. 

Not just with Seungmin. With Felix, and whatever is happening between them, because if the past 2 years has proven anything it’s that he and Felix are.. Something. They have potential as a couple, and problems as individuals, but it doesn’t mean they can’t work. That’s the most annoying part about relationships; the pain. 

You have to work for perfection, for the law breaking strength to bounce back and become one. To be strong alone, and be more than that together. And even after his horrible display of imperfection, Seungmin finds he still loves Felix. And he still wants him to himself. Whether their problem was rooted in either of their lack of understanding or absence of communication, it all means little when Seungmin’s heart, as well as his omega, sing Felix’s name in a sorrowful harmony of want. Now that he knows there’s potential there, and that Felix feels the same way, he was gonna do something about it. Fuck the complications.

It’s a funny thing, love. What do you know that can make you stutter, laugh, cry, and bring you up just to drop you back down like a mallet raised to the sky? A powerful feelings of yearning and need, something so confusing and fucked up you almost never wanna be associated with it. But so beautiful and otherworldly that you can barely live without it. 

Now here, after Seungmin’s adopted the feeling as well as all the defaults that come with it, was it worth it? Was it enough? Was it too little? He was sure as hell gonna find out.

He had a plan, and a place to put it into action, and a heat to prepare for a week from now. Seungmin was tired of being afraid, he was tired of losing over and over again. But like Felix had said, that part was his fault. So if he wanted to fix it, he had to make something shake. He had to let himself be vulnerable, had to let himself have something , true enough. That doesn’t mean the alpha was off the hook, it just means the both of them had something to work for and work on. And if Felix was willing, Seungmin was too. He just had to show him, they had to start somewhere.

-`✮´-

Seungmin knocks a couple times on his and Hyunjin’s shared dorm door. There’s no muffled chatter nor music playing from inside the closed space, so he doubts there’s anyone in there. But he can’t be sure just yet, not with his keys lost in Minho and Changbin’s apartment, and no glimpse past the door with it being locked and shut. 

The omega waits for a few seconds, for anything. The sounds of footsteps, a phone notification, the sound of the shower in their bathroom running, maybe a call of  ‘one second!’ but nothing comes. With a subtle sniff to the line where the frame meets the door, Seungmin comes to the conclusion that nobody is inside. It smells like no trace of coconut or cherries has been there for hours, so he quickly decides to go to the next best place. 

Outside of Felix and Jisung’s dorm after a short elevator ride, Seungmin repeats the process he’d done at his own dorm. He knocks and waits for signs of life or movement, nothing. Unfortunate. 

Neither of them are at their dorm. Where else would they be? Seungmin stops as he starts to weigh the probability of them being in certain places, suddenly remembering he has both Hyunjin and Jisung’s location and phone numbers. With fast navigation to his find my app, he ignores Felix’s location at the gymnasium, and Minho’s which is at the same location as Changbins, both presumably grocery shopping, and finds his bestfriends. 

“Of course.” Seungmin says to himself. Hyunjin and Jisung’s locations load in at the same space, contact photos right on top of one another when the name of the space their in loads up to display the school’s musical arts building, more specifically, the schools studio that Jisung uses to make music. Either Hyunjin is on a different floor in a dance studio, or he’s in the production one with Jisung. That, or vice versa. 

With his new found information, Seungmin starts on a walk to the building, his headphones over his head and prepared conversation looping in his mind. He doesn’t know exactly what he’s going to say, but he has an idea. As well as a short list of things he wants to make sure he confronts before he moves forward, other fields of topic are in line to be discussed as well. 

On his way to the studio, Seungmin slows in his steady strut when his heart begins to race, the room around him suddenly tilting and fear creeping into the depths of his chest as his vision goes out. After finding out that his symptoms were no longer symptoms and instead a chronic illness disorder, Seungmin had come up with a way to calmy asses each of his syncopes for future attacks. Even for times when he seizes or just becomes a bit faint.

The first thing he was supposed to do was lay down.  but being in the middle of a hallway in a building filled to the brim with egotistical alphas is not a particularly safe place. Possibly unconscious for a prolonged period of time at that. Seungmin isn’t sure if he will pass out just yet, but being unable to see or process is in itself enough vulnerability for someone to take advantage. 

The next thing on his list is supposed to be to leave a note for anybody who finds him if and when he falls unconscious. But he can’t see, so how is he supposed to write without his sight? For fucks sakes. 

It’s so hot, and his whole body feels like he’s being pricked by needles throughout. He’s uncomfortable, he’s scared, he’s near blind and he’s no doubt giving off distressed omega pheromones, telling everyone around him he’s vulnerable and without protection. Getting off his suppressants to not worsen his POTS seemed very pointless right about now. 

“Hell.” he whispers to himself as he nearly falls against the building's wall. He can’t bring himself to get down with how scared he is to be so at risk, unaware of who will find him or what they will do to him. Jisung’s studio is just a few doors down, but it’s well over 40 feet away with how large the building is. With his vision gone and step unsteady there’s no way he could make it there before his body gives out.

Seungmin's steadiness falters quickly and without mercy, the strength bleeding from his body with no plan to return anytime soon, and his heart drops into his stomach when he hears a door open in the distance, barely audible beneath the sound of ringing in his ears. He trembles only for a second when a voice is heard coming into the hall. 

“I swear I smelled cinnamon.” Seungmin thinks it says, and his panic lessons significantly when he recognizes the deep register of the person speaking. The man basically lived in his dorm, of course he can make it out through his tinnitus. 

‘Jisung .’

Seungmin ignores the oncoming headache he has when he hollers one of his bestfriends name with as much energy as he can muster. “Jisungie..” he tries. It’s not very loud with the lack of breath the omega has at the moment, but it seems to do the job. Before Seungmin can drop from his kneeling position and hit the floor, a strong body fits in front of him, catching Seungmin just as he loses consciousness and his syncope has fully eclipsed him. 

When he comes to, he’s laying in the tiny school studio couch with his head on someone's lap. Seungmin can tell even with his throbbing headache that it’s Hyunjin based on the cherries coming from it. In the scent, Seungmin can make out anxiety. Poor Hyunnie. They must have been so worried. 

They found him half conscious before he could explain his situation to them. Seungmin would feel bad about that, if it wasn’t for him passing out against his own will.

“Simmie?” Come Jisung’s voice. It’s higher than usual, he’s nervous. Seungmin blinks his eyes open, trying to rid his vision of the black and white spots stopping him from clearly seeing the beta’s face, at which he knows is in front of him. Jisung’s hand on his forehead gently pushes his hair back out of his eyes, tenderly, sweetly. 

“Simmie! Are you okay? I know nurse Nina said your after coma symptoms would include fainting and fatigue, but you were unconscious for like… 10 minutes.” Jisung expresses.

“And you’re pale. Not to mention you smelled really scared in the hall. What’s going on?” Hyunjin adds as Seungmin sits up from his lap a few minutes later, head a little clearer though throbbing in pain all the more. 

Jisung hands the youngest his water bottle, which Seungmin slurps down like a lifeline as the 2 glance at him with genuine concern painting their features. It’s hard to watch, Seungmin wishes they’d relax, but that doesn’t seem like an option until he gives them what he came to deliver.

A few minutes pass before Seungmin can successfully think, talk and see. But with the patience of his two friends, and the devouring of Hyunjins salty ranch veggie sticks, he sighs before he allows himself to reward his friends with explanation. 

“Okay. Where to begin..” Seungmin hums, inhaling and exhaling, dusting powder off his fingers.

“From the beginning I guess. A few weeks ago. Me and Lix had a fight outside the hyungs apartment..” 

“Yeah, we heard.” Hyunjin confirms. Seungmin nods in understanding, he’d thought they might have been eavesdropping in the doorway. But now isn’t the time for irritation or embarrassment, he’s got bigger issues. 

“Yes. Well after it happened I was in a really.. Confusing headspace. Staying with Minho and Changbin hyung helped me clear it out, and gave me time to think. But even then, i was still kind of pent up. Which is why I blew up on you that day in the dorm.” Seungmin glances up at Jisung from his spot on the couch when he says the last part, who is wearing a look of mixed guilt and hurt. 

“I didn’t mean to storm out on you. Either of you.” Seungmin glances back and forth from Hyunjin and Jisung, both betas simply letting him talk with contemplating yet tender expressions. “And you both.. mean a lot to me." The omega has to force that part out, so used to his default love language being teasing, bluntness in all of his words except the affectionate ones. The pair audibly laughs at his struggle. 

“And even though I still feel like you should have told me about Felix’s affection, I forgive you for not doing so. You were respecting both of our privacy, and I think that’s admirable, even if it was stupid and inconvenient.” Seungmin can’t help the last part, though judging by Jisungs gummy smile and soft, fond eyes, he doesn’t mind.

“And we’re sorry for eavesdropping. We were just worried. And a bit nosey as well but who isn’t? Ya know?” Hyunjin cuts into Seungmins rant, leaning over and wrapping his long limbs around Seungmins thin body, scenting him happily while Seungmin roles his eyes, not moving to return the embrace but scenting the beta back with his momentarily weak pheromones despite his feigned irritation. 

“It’s cool. I’m glad you guys know, so I don’t have to go through the trouble of explaining what happened between us. I have to talk to Chan and Felix hyung after this. But for now..I have something to tell you guys about my last hospital visit, and my coma.” 

The air in the room gets tense at that, both the scent of cherries and coconut alike become sour at the mention of his week-long resting period and Seungmin can already tell this isn’t going to be fun. Nor will it be easy, especially not after the smiles on both the betas faces drop in response to his words. Damned protective instincts. Seungmin decides there and then it’s best to just rip the bandaid off and kill the drama. He has things to do, and he doesn’t want to drag the complication of straightening out his friend group to drag on longer than needed.

“The other day, when I went in for a check up, the doctors gave me some– kind of fucked up news.” Seungmin blurts the rest of it out quickly, unwilling to dwell or sugarcoat. “What we thought were just really bad post coma symptoms is actually a chronic illness I got from the head trauma. It’s called POTS, I won’t tell you what it stands for cause god knows you two would shut down trying to process such large words, get someone else to do it.. but in short, the fall damaged my brains nervous system, now my heart struggles to regulate blood flow. Which causes constant low functioning in my body. Because of that, my heart is overworking to maintain flow.”

Hyunjin and Jisung only look to have not understood the omega’s words for a few short seconds, Seungmin gives them a moment to process, looking back and forth between the 2 from his position crisscrossed on the couch. When the explanation loads in their tiny brains, the follow up is mild horror, and Seungmin simply waits it out before the two break into their usual loud and chaotic race of speech.

“What?? Is it fatal??”

“Is it permanent??”

“That’s so dangerous!”

“So your medicine was useless??”

“You’re too young to die!”

“Too young and too pretty!”

Both the boys are practically whining now, suddenly all up in Seungmins space. They tug on his hands, tears welling in their eyes as they dramatically whine at the omegas feet. Seungmin likes the attention of course, but their act of blowing the whole thing out of proportion when Seungmin hadn’t even grazed death as a possibility is annoying.

“For fucks sakes, get up!” Seungmin snatches his arms away from them, but the 2 stay in their positions on their knees on the floor, lips quivering as they imagine every horrible scenario possible. “Don’t fucking cry– stop it! You two are so dramatic. I’m not going to die. I’ll be fine. I just have to be careful. And everyone who I’m with on a regular basis has to know how to handle my syncopes when they happen. Especially because..” 

Seungmin hates to admit how much his subgender defines his life, but he’s trying to learn the power that having a choice holds. As well as the difference between autonomy and value. He’s getting there, but after trying to defy his omegan chromosomes for so long it’s hard to accept that being an omega is a form of identification, and not a definition. 

“Especially because I’m an omega.” he admits. With such dislike for how he’s treated because of his subgender, being realistic about the difference in genetic makeup and physical capability is made a bit complicated. But Seungmin is strong and intelligent. If he can learn to differentiate between can’t and doesn’t want to when the conversation is subgender, all will be well. Then again, if the world around him could, they wouldn't be in his situation right now. 

“Heats are gonna be a bitch. And I’ll be vulnerable when my pheromones are all over the place while I’m unconscious. But I can get through it. Especially if my lovely pack will help me out.” Hyunjin and Jisung’s eyes light up at that, and despite his earlier commands, telling the two not to cry, his own voice begins to wobble, and his vision becomes very blurry. Not because of his pots this time.

“I’m learning a lot lately. I’m learning that I’m more than my subgender, even if everyone else doesn’t think so. I’m learning to be honest with myself. I’m learning life is really vulnerable. And I’m learning that.. That you guys mean a lot to me. All of you do. I’m also learning it’s okay to be vulnerable. Even if it’s scary. Because I know you guys have got me.”

By time tears spill over from Seungmins eyes, Jisung and Hyunjin are full on sobbing, clinging to his legs like baby animals. They mewl loudly, Seungmin letting out a wet laugh as he pats both of them on their heads, heart swelling with genuine love for the two of them as they scent and soak Seungmin in their pheromones. It seems he’s a lot more emotional since his accident these days, but being delicate is okay, and so is he.

-`✮´-

On the desk where Felix sits, Seungmin drops his pom poms and uniform with a soft  thump. The alpha looks at the material, then to Seungmin with a piercing gaze, expression even. He’s silent and stone faced at the action, Seungmin gulping at how intense the mans glare is, desperately attempting to not get turned on by it.

“I’m turning in my things. I quit the team.” He states simply, sticking to his first topic of approach.

Felix is silent for a few moments, he looks to be holding back building irritation, jaw tight and eyes low before he finally speaks.

“Really? You're just going to walk away?” the omega can tell Felix is already heated by his start, but Seungmin didn’t come here to argue. 

“It’s not like that, Lix. It’s not about you and it’s not about us. Although I’m sure you know I’ve been out of practice too long to be useful at finals.” he replies calmly.

“Then what the hell is it about Seungmin?? Cause it feels like you're running.”

The omega takes a deep breath, it’s only been a few days since he was diagnosed, but he’s already endangered himself with overworking once, he thinks it’s about time he pace himself and do a few things that make him happy. He knows Felix will be excited to hear it, if only he’d listen. Seungmin supposes in order to make him do that, he’ll have to be honest.

“Just.. calm down. It’s as simple as this, Lix.” The omega huffs in exasperation. Either his syncope took a lot out of him, or his body is having its usual reaction to Felix, nerves followed by waves of panic.

“I’ve been diagnosed with POT’s, it’s an autonomic dysfunction disorder. You were right, Lix. What you said and what I’m going through with this has changed my perspective on things. After my coma, I realized life is really fragile. And I can’t spend it doing something that doesn’t make me happy. I can’t spend it.. Without people who make it worth living for.”

Felix’s eyes soften significantly, it’s easy on the eyes though it seems almost as if he’s allowing himself to break after wallowing in their argument for weeks on end. Seungmin can see his heartache right under the color of those gorgeous brown eyes. But that just won’t do. That’s not why Seungmin came here today. He supposes he should get to the point to avoid unnecessary pain, but his introduction was definitely as important as what followed. 

“With that being said…” he punctuates. And without another thought, he leans forward and grabs the alphas face, pulling him in and pressing their lips together in a deep kiss. Seungmin makes the most of it, kissing the alpha like he’s waited a lifetime for this. It certainly feels like he had. Seungmin’s heart soars when Felix returns it with just as much depth, licking into the omegas mouth with an urgency that almost feels like desperation. Hell. If he gets to kiss Felix like this again he’ll happily wait another 2 years. 

Seungmin has to will himself for a full 20 seconds to pull away from Felix’s soft and eager lips. It’s like removing a bullet with your bare fingers. Seungmin has never found a task so painful and complicated in his life. 

Now for the main event, Seungmins face is burning up when he somehow manages to force his next words out, still panting and breathless from their life changing locking of the lips.

“Bokkie.” He huffs. “ I’m sorry about everything that happened between us before, but..” the omega hesitates, always does when it comes to Lee Yongbok. But he pushes forward, he has to. 

“Felix. I love you. And I want us to start over. I want us to start over because I want us to work, and you mean the world as well as so much more to me.. Will you..” Seungmin finds himself stuttering, the look of hunger in Felix’s sparkling yet dark eyes rattling the omega’s nerves like maracas. 

“Will you spend my heat with me?” Suengmin forces out, much quieter and shyer than he meant to declare it, his courage failing him. This time, to Seungmins devine surprise, it’s Felix who turns red. Usually his Yongbok is so cocky and flirtatious, Seungmin thinks this side of him is absolutely adorable. 

“Wha..” Felix’’s croaking voice struggles, he tries one more time. “Say.. say that again?”

Seungmin feels so much shame, so much fear. Some might say he’s being impulsive, or stupid. But clearly, it takes a little bit of both to really live, doesn’t it?

“Spend my heat with me.” he repeats. 

Felix shakes his head, correcting him. “The.. the other part.” He insists. He’s making this whole thing very hard on Seungmin. 

“Iloveyou.” he blurts.

A lot and nothing happens at the same time, Seungmin can see waves of emotion and thought passing and swirling in the alpha’s eyes, like fog and vapor, or ocean and sea salt. 

Before Seungmin can attempt to read Felix’s expression – or rather succeed at it– he watches as Felix’s shocked and thoughtful complexion breaks. Suddenly, the blond is crying, balling even. His eyes are shining with tears, lashes soaked as he begins to sob in Seungmin’s hold, much like Jisung and Hyunjin had. The omega panics, heart rapidly speeding up in his chest though his only physical show of reaction are his wide eyes.

“Hello?? What happened?? Why are you crying??- Lix–” Seungmin tries, but it’s no use. Felix is simply balling his eyes out, seemingly out of nowhere, and the omega doesn’t know what the fuck to do about it. He feels helpless for a few long moments, before Felix grounds himself enough to speak again.

“I’m.. I’ve wanted you to say that to me for the past 2 years. I’m sorry.” the blonde sobs, tears running with every hiccup that ruptures his body. Seungmin can’t help the way his own eyes begin to burn, waterworks materializing into matter, though much less dramatic than Felix’s are. Seungmin has cried more today than he has in years, and to his divine surprise, it feels really good.

“I’m sorry! About everything, with Chan, and with how you felt all this time. Even though I felt the same way. And I wanted you so bad. I was never interested in anybody else, until Jisung let it slip that..” Felix chokes on another sob. “..that you spent your heats with him and Hyunjin and Minho. I thought you were fighting your affection for me. It hurt so bad to know they were in a spot that should have been mines from the start. And that you never made a move on me even though I was the one you wanted from the beginning. But what you said the other day made me realize that I was just as bad as you were, if not worse. Ignoring my affection and not acting on it despite how strong it was. And giving myself to others even though I only wanted you.” 

Seungmin is a wreck now, almost as bad as Felix. They probably look so stupid, intertwined and weeping like somebody’s died. But it doesn’t matter. Seungmin’s heart is overflowing with a feeling he thought he’d never willfully experience, beating at such a high speed it makes him feel like the world around him doesn’t matter, and that the only relevant factor is the blonde wailing in front of him. 

“I’m sorry Seungminnie. You mean so much to me, I didn’t mean to ruin your welcome home, but I felt so lonely after watching you and the others interact in the hospital. I just wanted to matter to someone. I never meant to hurt you! Andandand–” Seungmin catches the alphas lips in another kiss to shut him up, much shorter than the first but extended by the many times they lean in after pulling away to peck each other affectionately, over and over again. 

“Waitwaitwait, I really mean it Mimi. I’m sorry. You were supposed to be my Seungminnie, and you could have been if I hadn’t been such a prick. You mean so much to me. I’m sorry. And about Chan, it just felt like I didn’t matter, and he’s such a great guy it felt good to be seen and appreciated by him– I–”

“Lix, stop it. I get it. I’ve met Chan. He’s a great guy, and he means a lot to the both of us. To all of us. Just like you do. You’ve never been irrelevant. Especially not to me. Even though I wasn’t there before, I'll be there moving forward, because you mean a lot to me too, and I want you to know how much from here on out. I’ll be there to watch you at the finals. I’m gonna be cheering you on, and even if I can’t perform with you. I’ll be there. And so will our pack.”

Felix blinks in surprise at that, curious and shiny eyes questioning. Seungmin gives him a dandy and hopeful little smile before elaborating. “You, me, Hyunjin, Jisung, Minho, Changbin and even Chan. We have.. a connection. Even if it isn’t romantic, it’s important. I’ve been afraid to ask for this for the past 2 years, since we all became inseparable. But someone told me I was loved, and that I should start letting myself have things.”

Felix’s eyebrows are pressed into affectionate creases, like he’s about to burst into tears again at any moment. Seungmin drops his hold from the blonde's face, connecting their hands before he continues. “I want you to be in our pack, and I want you to spend my heat with me, as well as any other heat I have in the future, because it’s you. And even if it did take me a while to admit it, it’s been you from the start.”

Felix’s shoulders have been shaking with silent sobs for the past few minutes as he listens to what Seungmin has to say, nodding along to his words. The blonde walks around the desk, pulling Seungmin in by his middle, kissing him again with the gentle caress of his cheek before fitting his face into the omegas shoulder, nodding aggressively with his arms locked around the nonexistent waist of the designers frame. 

“I’ll spend your heats with you, as many as you’ll let me. And I want nothing more than to be in a pack with you guys. Where I can care for all of you with mutual affection and understanding, Seungminnie. You guys mean so much to me, you mean so much to me. And I don’t think I could have gone another year acting like that wasn’t the truth. And I’m sorry about being so insensitive about what it’s like to be an omega. I never meant to downplay your experiences. I just wanted to help you understand that you're more than that omega.” 

Seungmin returns the embrace, letting the alpha hold him. It took 2 years of pining, stuttering and fumbling over his words for them to make it here. Which means that's how much lost time they’ve gotta make up for. Though before they can ravage each other in an attempt to see who can get in whose mouth first, there is yet another sensitive topic for them to cover.

“Lixie. Listen. I know spending my heat with me sounds satisfying, but it’s not gonna be as easy as normal one.” Seungmin expresses when he leans away from the alpha’s lips to look him in the eye, showcasing his seriousness. “My pots will mix with my heat, and it’s potentially dangerous for the toll it’s gonna take on my body. You’ll have to go to the hospital with me to be briefed on the procedures and scenarios for it. If it’s to much, I get it, I can have someone else–”

Seungmin’s words are interrupted by an aggressive growl emanating from Felix’s chest at the suggestion. The omega blinks at him, shocked. He had never heard such a sound from the other. Felix seems just as surprised as he is, immediately becoming sheepish at his own display of possessiveness. “Fuck, sorry. I– sorry..” He stammers, Seungmin has to stop himself from presenting at the mixture of hot and lame laid out in front of him.

“Seungminnie.” Felix starts when the embarrassment wears off, the omegas stomach swoops at seriousness in the blonde's deep and earth shattering voice. “I would burn myself alive before I ever allowed you to experience something like that on your own. No matter how many lessons I have to learn, or hours I have to suffer in order to figure out how to care for you properly. I will be the alpha you deserve, and I mean that shit with every fiber of my being.”

Chapter Text

The pack shows up at the ‘So You Think You Can Cheer’ finals in separate vehicles. Felix rides on the bus with the team, Seungmin rides with Jisung and Hyunjin, and Minho, Chan and Changbin all drive there together. 

Despite Seungmin being on the brink of heat –4 days away to be precise– he and the others are there all together, even in his condition, supporting Felix in his competition like they said they would. 

Nurse Nina had expressed great worry for Seungmin concerning the combination of his heat and POTS. Apparently for the week he’s in heat, he’ll experience seizures and other dangerous forms of incapacitation, meaning he has to be monitored at all times pre and post cycle. The pack all know this, so it’s hard for them to not hover as he gets closer, but even so his syncopes worsen as he approaches the grueling state. 

When they all arrive at the venue they spare Felix no pride. They squeeze his cheeks and slap his butt and scent him until marshmallows are nearly completely covered, complimenting him on how he looks in his uniform, covered in life size amounts of glitter. For the few minutes the cheerleaders are allowed to do things other than practice and stretch, Yongbok is with them, explaining how excited he is to show them their routine and absolutely suffocating in affection and attention from the pack. 

They make plans to get food later, and Felix as well as the rest of the pack refuse to let up on checking in on Seungmin’s condition, making sure he is okay for the duration of the time their standing and running around the building, letting the blonde show them snacks and merchandise.

When it’s time for the comp to start, they seperate, Felix running back stage to join the squad, followed by the encouraging cheers and whoops from his very loud and very vocal pack.

-`✮´-

It’s only while the squad is taking the stage and getting into position that Changbin notices something about a certain blonde alphas face.

“Wait a second..” he says when he spots Felix smirking up at the 6 of them from the mats, looking schemingly sinister. “He’s up to something.” the alpha accuses, glancing over at the others. “Yeah and the ocean is blue.” Seungmin teases. Anyone can tell by that sly smile that the tiny alpha is planning something. But what?

“Should we brace ourselves?” Hyunjin asks between bites of pop corn, the team getting into position on the floor. None of them give a direct answer, as much of a sweetheart as Felix is, he’s also a little shit. There’s no telling what the hell he had up his sleeves this time.

The heads of the teams cheerleaders all bow as the DJ starts the track and the crowd settles, chatter coming to a minimum when the lights in the building dim, leaving the team lit up front and center. For everyone to watch from their positions amongst the competition's crowd. 

When the opening notes of the song whip through the room, Seungmin, as well as the pack immediately know what the alpha’s cocky smile was about. The track that was playing was a recently produced and released song by all of them, which is called DOMINO. It’s a fast paced track with lots of beat and backbone to it, something Chan, Jisung and Changbin had been working on, which they asked the rest of them to sing and rap on out of admiration for their hidden talents. 

It’s quick, loud, a bit aggressive, and very high energy. In other words, it was the perfect song to obliterate your components with at a cheer competition. As long as the team using it has got the energy to match.

Seungmin knows good and well that the huge smile on the alpha’s face is not for display, he is all too happy with himself, beaming like the sun as he and his team hit every beat and lip sync every word. The pack, minus Seungmin, is on their feet in a second, hollering chaotically at the top of their lungs with exclamations of excitement and pride. 

There’s a series of fast paced tumbling that leaves the crowd in oos and ahs, they hit various poses and jumps and kicks during the pounding of the beat through the speakers, creating a satisfied and high energy spike of enthusiasm from the crowd, as well as triumphant smiles from the team. The real crowd pleasing part of the routine is when a chorus of the word “Domino” is repeated in the song, and the cheerleaders form multiple 4 person towers, tossing the flyer in the air when the word is said. 

The crowd is on its feet along with the pack at the perfectly constructed display of balance and skill, cheering so loud you can barely hear the music still bustling through the space. Despite the energy surging through the horde of people, the 5 of them are still the loudest  amongst the population. They cheer and scream together, even after the routine comes to an end and the team is cheesing at their audience, waving good bye as they cartwheel, skip and backflip off of the floor.

The pack is quick to spring from the crowd and descend the steps, rushing down from their seats backstage where the participants are to exit the stage. Seungmin, with newly installed limitations of how fast he can get up and move, takes his time, following behind with a wide smile and excitement as vibrational as the others. 

When Felix spots the group bustling towards him he separates from the team, skipping over and happily allowing the crowd of bustling men to overtake him, lifting him off the ground and giving him very aggressive displays of affection and love. Hyunjin and Minho, ever the dancers, focus more on praising the physical attributes of the routine, while the rest of them obsess over how much of a deviant Felix was for using their song for such an important event. 

Seungmin watches fondly, his smile not even beginning to express the affection he’s housing for his pack at the moment. He waits for his turn patiently, though he plays with his fingers to try and tame the enthusiasm coursing through him a little better. Despite his calm exterior, he’s got a surging and jovial ball of emotion in his chest, and it’s aching to be released. He withholds himself though, more desperate to have the blonde in a personal hold.

Felix is eventually released from the packs clutches, and the alpha approaches Seungmin with a pep in his step while the others are taking pictures and posing with the squad. When he’s close enough, Seungmin let’s some of his housed elation free, tossing himself into Felix’s arms, wrapping himself around the tiny alphas neck. The blonde groans in surprise at the warmth of Seungmins weight, but happily holds the omega by his waist, squeezing him firmly in his hold. 

“You did great Bokkie. Sorry I couldn’t be up there with you. Even if it was because we’ve both been ignorant the past 2 years.” Seungmin says into the alphas ear, just loud enough to be heard over the music of the next team performing on stage. Felix chuckles low and enticing in Seungmins neck, hands moving down his spine in sync to touch the omega’s perky butt while he hums in contentment at the feel. Seungmin is still getting used to Felix being so freely perverted towards him, or rather– so public about it. A lot has been discovered over the past week since their cry session. For the better though.

“Yeah.” Felix says, still patting the omegas behind with pleased little hums. Seungmin, still with a hopeless crush on the boy, stutters just a little bit over his next words. “Yeah.. yeahwell– well that’s enough of that right? The ignorance?” Seungmin leans back from his hold around Felix’s neck, determination shining in his eyes when the alpha gives him a sure nod of his head. “Yeah?” He agrees curiously. 

“Great. Well. That’s why I decided that for our final 2 years in college, I’m changing my major.” Seungmin announces to the blonde. Felix’s eyes widen in surprise, he blinks a couple times before he leans back in a way that screams ‘ are you serious?’ which Seungmin nods in response to. “Really?? Minnie that’s fucking great! You’re gonna be a design major??” 

Seungmin nods again, inwardly overjoyed by the pride Felix seems to be exhibiting. “Yeah. Fashion and design. And I’m getting my associates in law, so my studying in that field won’t be for nothing.” 

As soon as Seungmin finishes his sentence, Felix removes his arms from the omegas waist and instead reaches to grab his pretty doll face and pull him into a kiss. Felix whispers how proud and excited he is for Seungmins progress forward, the omega simply returning each smooch and letting himself dwell in the alphas attention and excitement.

  Letting himself have it, if you will.

Felix is latched onto Seungmins backside for the rest of the competition. He only separates from the omega, as well as their pack, when it’s time for the teams to retake the matt and take their rewards, as well as their trophies, if they won one. 

“Out of 15 teams, there’s 5 spots, aka teams who stay on the mat while everyone else clears out. Then there’s top 3, announced from last to first –because their assholes– where they’re recognized as the states finest and most qualified for the ALL STAR competitions. They get a 25k check they get to use how they please and a leg up in any competition of their choosing. They also get to perform in a BTS video. Exciting, right?” Felix explains to the pack when their down the street from the event, getting a bite to eat. 

The 7 of them are crammed into 2 booths back to back, the youngests in one and the older members in the other. Felix talks loud enough for him to be heard in both, it also helps that he’s leaning over the shared booth bench, arm reaching to lay drape over Minho’s shoulders, who’s at the other table. 

“Usually I’d watch the other squads perform with the team, but with you guys here there’s no way I’d stay behind.” Felix says with a smirk, the group of men giggling at his words. “I can’t believe you used our amatuer song for a national cheer competition. I don’t know if I should feel honored or scared. Like— you guys think the crowd liked it?” Chan expresses between chewing a slice of pizza. 

“Of course they liked it. The three of you produced the fuck out of that song, Channie. And hidden talents or not we ate when we were doing vocals and rapping on it.” Minho chimes in, reaching over the back of the bench to the youngests table, stealing one of Seungmin’s cheesy bread stick’s off his plate without permission. 

“Yeah but we’re college students, it was an early track.” Chan replies.

“I think the damn thing was the bomb diggidy. We ate the song up, Felix and the team ate the routine, badda bing badda boom, first place! Nobody knows music like us, nobody knows cheer like Felix. It’s a galactic combination. Stop worrying, hyung.” Jisung chirps surrounding his commitment to fucking up some garlic parmesian wings. 

The pack hums in different volumes of agreement as they continue to eat, Chan sighs in defeat, relenting and allowing Changbin to feed him a handful of fries, washing it down with sprite.
After Changbin, Seungmin and Hyunjin finish arguing over Seungmin’s last cheesy breadstick, and the rest of them finish their food, and they head back to the competition just as the last 2 squads are performing.

Soon enough, the teams are called back to the floor and Felix has to separate from them. The pack sends wishes of love and luck to Felix, much to the alphas embarrassment as their loud cheers attract the attention of the competitions crowd. 

He quickly scurries off to join his squad, the pack waiting patiently until the lights over head dim again. This time, the ones that click on illuminate the 15 squads filling the floor at the foot of the sea of spectators. 

“The schools fighting for the top 3 spots, are..” The host, Kim Namjoon of BTS, and the leader of the group whose music video the winners get to perform in, announces to the crowd. The whole stadium holds it breath, you could cut the tension with a knife. 

“FNC Krakens, SM Cyclops, B2M Bulldogs, YG Scorpions… and..” The host drags it out an annoying amount, before smirking as the last name leaves his mouth.

 “THE JYP WARRIORS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.” 

The pack let’s out a heavy breath of relief when the host says their schools name and mascot, the 6 of them clapping and hollering triumphantly. Seungmin can see Felix’s nervous fiddling from his spot in the crowd, when the rest of the teams clear out, he holds hands with his squad, eyes closed as they do little neurotic footsies with one another. They seem to be close, and with that thought, suddenly Seungmin knows exactly how the alpha felt watching him interact with the others before they became a pack. It really is an ugly notion.

“Woah, tiger, calm down.” Seungmin hears Jisung say from next to him, swinging to knock their shoulders together. “I can smell the worsening sourness in your scent cause I’m used to detecting it, don’t overthink it. While your at it, don’t overthink that.” the beta gestures to Felix giggling and whispering with his teammates. “He chose you. Always has. I can tell you that now after so long, so I won’t let you forget.” He assures him. 

Seungmin gives the beta a playful slap to the chest, a simplistic smile on his face at the reassurance. The omega was sure before that nobody could smell his still returning scent, but having practically lived with Jisung for 2 years, of course he and Hyunjin, who is knocking Seungmins other shoulder, can smell him even when his pheromones are weak. 

The 2 play bumper shoulders with Seungmin in the middle for the few seconds between the announcement of the final 5 and final 3. When Seungmin’s omega mewls within him he blinks in confusion at the sudden spike of life, looking around for an explanation. When he glances down to the mat, where the 5 teams remain, Felix is looking right at him. The designer shivers at the alphas gaze, the eeriness of it breaking when Felix is caught. The blonde breaks their tense staring contest when he winks at Seungmin flirtatiously, who rolls his eyes in response, though his cinnamon scent spikes and his stomach flips before the host comes back on the mic. 

“Alright, ladies, gentlemen, and everything varying, in third place for the fifth SO YOU THINK YOU CAN CHEER competition..” The drum roll plays from the speakers, and the crowd is silent in the torcher of wait before Namjoon speaks again. “YG SCRORPIONS.”

The crowd cheers, the pack claps slowly but without enthusiasm as they quiet down once again. “In second place, ARE THE SM CYCLOPS.” He hollers into the microphone. The crowd cheers once again, this time the pack isn’t clapping at all, too tense with second and third place down for the count. They wait till the crowd has settled and the two teams have their trophies, the suspense in the stadium hard to bare. 

The tall, golden trophy and oversized check are brought to the stage, Felix stares at the thing like it holds the secrets to the universe, Seungmin can tell even from his spot in the audience that he’s shaking in nervous anticipation. 

“Here we go guys. Cross your fingers. We got this, like we said.” Chan encourages behind them as Namjoon adjusts his grip on the mic, voice ringing through the space from the speakers once again. 

“The first place team, performing in the music video for the worlds biggest boy band and winning a quarter of a million dollars.. Is….”

Seungmin thinks he can feel his heart beat in his throat, and the smell of his packs jittering pheromones doesn’t help him stay calm. He tries to have faith, tries to believe in his alpha and his team, but it’s not the simplest task to complete when Namjoon is once again dragging out the calm before the storm. 

Then, finally, it’s revealed. 

“JYP WARRIORS LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. CONGRATULATIONS.” 

The audience roars, and Seungmin can’t help it, he hops up from his chair in a leap of thrill, jumping up and down, turning and hugging his pack members while they scream in triumphant bliss at sweet sweet victory. 

Even as Seungmin’s vision goes out and Hyunjin has to sneak an arm around his waist incase he falls, the win is theirs, and the celebration goes on. 

They’ve done it, success is claimed.

Seungmin hates that he can’t see when Felix jumps 10 feet in the air, rushing to front and center stage to receive his team's trophy alongside Coach Lauv. Thankfully, Seungmin doesn’t completely pass out, only sways a bit as his body fends off a temporary wave of nausea and exhaustion, but not fully losing consciousness. 

Seungmin sits as Felix takes photos with the team and Coach Lauv, smiling despite his weak state, and the headache that follows after it clears. 

With the winners announced and the routines finished, the competition ends. 

Having already eaten, the pack says their goodbyes and is on their way to their separate destinations. All is well, and the ends in a chaotic and victorious wave amongst both the pack and the squad. 

-`✮´-

The next day, 3 days before Seungmins heat, Felix and Seungmin head to the doctors office to be briefed on the omegas heat cycle, as well as what hardships it will hold. 

“Seungmin, and Mr.Lee” Nurse Nina starts as she enters the room a few minutes after their arrival. “Just Felix is okay, really.” Yongbok tells her, Nurse Nina smiles, nodding.

 “Of course. Alright, let’s jump right in, I’m sure you don’t want to be here all day. For an omega with POTS, heat cycles can be particularly challenging. The hormonal shifts during heat can exacerbate POTS symptoms like increased heart rate, dizziness, and fatigue. Seungmin has these symptoms on their own during heat and regularly because of his pots. So they will be heightened to dangerous levels during his heat due to it all. This means a majority of the time, because of the stress it all has on his body, he will more than likely be unconscious or seizing. I take this very seriously, because with the amount of stress this will put on his body it will not be easy and it will not be fun.”

Nurse Nina’s expression is tight and serious now, all her usual fun flexibility gone and replaced with stone faced urgency. When Seungmin looks over to Felix, he’s matching her firm resolution. “Yes ma’am I understand. You have my full and undivided attention.” Felix tells her. 

Seungmin is aware he shouldn’t feel good about his situation, but knowing people take his health so seriously is reassuring to a point it makes him feel more secure in a situation where he’s wordly uncomfortable.

“We’re ready too!” Jisung chirps, Seungmin looks down at his iPad, where the rest of the pack is settled in the camera frame on Changbin and Minho’s couch, waiting and listening for details from the doctor as well. Seungmin gives a puppy smile and kiss to the camera, before turning it back onto Nurse Nina and allowing her to continue. 

“It's important for Seungmin to stay hydrated by drinking plenty of fluids with electrolytes. I also suggest that Seungmin try to avoid sudden movements and standing for long periods, since these can trigger POTS symptoms. I recommend keeping the room cool and using cooling towels to help regulate body temperature as well.”

“Felix, I must advise you be patient and understanding. I can’t stress this, any of this; enough; the importance of creating a calm and comfortable environment for Seungmin. You should help him with everything , but especially getting up or preparing meals. He will not be able to do much of anything, his symptoms will incapacitate him. You have to be his lover and caretaker at the same time.” 

Felix gives one curt and understanding nod before she proceeds. 

“I suggest gentle massages and cuddling to help soothe Seungmin and reduce anxiety. I must also remind you to pay attention to Seungmin's cues and respect his limits, unfortunate if you have a thing for overstimulation Seungmin, because it can worsen pots symptoms. When he finishes, he will more than likely pass out from the intensity of everything combined.” 

“Okay. I understand. I also would like to know more about his limitations with sex and intercourse, can I knot him?”

Seungmin coughs and promptly mutes the call, stiff as a board at the mention of sex and knotting. Felix was much braver than him in this case, it’s hard to talk about his sex life with your crush and a third party present. But it’s necessary, no matter how exposed he feels at the moment. 

“Of course, good looking out. You can knot him, though he will more than likely be unconscious when you fully swell up. If you have a particularly large knot regularly, make sure  to just keep him hydrated while your attached when he’d fading in and out of consciousness. You’ll have to spend his cycle here, in one of the hospitals heat rooms, because we have to make sure he is okay during the process. So if you already rented a placement at a heat hotel we can get you a refund. There’s space in the room for the both of you to stay, so you don’t have to be in and out during the process. There will be an emergency button for you to call me or another doctor to come and respond immediately if something goes wrong. If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like for you to make reports of Seungmin’s condition throughout the week, so we can monitor his journey.” 

Felix nods curtley again, understanding. “Can they be voice reports? It will probably be time consuming to type them out. Especially when I’m keeping him cleaned and fed.” 

“Of course. We will take what you're willing to give. Our priority is Seungmin’s safety, yes?” Nurse Nina puts her hand out to hold Seungmins, who smiles and gives it to her, receiving a reassuring squeeze from the women. Felix hums in agreement. 

“There is a very fragile line you’ll be walking while Seungmin is in heat next week. So communication is very important. Seungmin, I think it best you make written consent before your fully immersed, giving him permission to do whatever you're comfortable with. I’ll hang onto that document when it’s done, as well as the records Felix will be keeping during the week. “

“Anything I can do to help with the fainting so he isn’t in a coma for another week?” Felix looks hopeful when  asks this, like being unconscious is worse than being completely present while your practically burning alive and seizing uncontrollably. “Yes. Lot’s of electrolyte. So lemon water, electrolytes, ginger and chamomile teas too. No sugary drinks or food! What did I just say? Repeat it, all of you.” 

“No sugary foods or drinks!” Seungmin, Felix and the pack repeat back to her. “Great, as for foods, lots of potassium and protein. Pickles, sweet potatoes, soups, bananas, lean meats, eggs. All that good stuff.” 

When Seungmin looks down at the Ipad screen he thinks he sees the pack writing things down on their phones and notepads, at which Seungmin has no idea where they came from. 

Nurse Nina finishes her briefing with one final speech, wrapping things up so they can all proceed with what life they have left in them after trying to lock away so much information.

“Finally, gentleman. I’ll say this again. Recognize the importance of communication, all of you. From updating your pack mates on Seungmins condition and letting them scent him when he’s conscious to telling each other the slightest discomfort. I encourage you all to discuss your needs and boundaries openly, especially Seungmin and Felix, since you 2 are the heat duo here. I also advise having a plan in place for managing POTS symptoms during heat, including medications, emergency contacts–” She gestures to the iPad. “As well as strategies for coping with potential flare-ups. Need I remind you all that with careful planning and mutual support, you can navigate Seungmin's heat safely and comfortably. And I wish you all the best in doing so.”

Chapter Text

Seungmin and Felix agree to begin setting up their room at the hospital the next day, 48 hours before Seungmin’s heat is supposed to fully kick off. His school leave is extended until after his heat, so the only thing they have to worry about now is getting through the actual process. 

Well, that’s all Seungmin thinks they have to worry about.

For now, Felix does the omega the favor of packing up his nest and pre-cooking his meals for the first couple days of his heat. Unbeknownst to Seungmin, the alpha is nervous. For the few days that remain between their mutual confessionals, cheer comp, and when Felix is supposed to appear at the hospital, he is disturbed everywhere he goes. For multiple reasons.

He’s less chatty and cheerful during the time, seemingly always lost in thought or zoning off somewhere in the middle of practice or lunch. And within the alpha’s pretty blonde head, is Seungmin.

Seungmin Seungmin Seungmin. On a constant loop. Within that endless whirlpool is the memory of the omega’s scent. Cinnamon. Which he’s only had the pleasure of smelling a couple times. And the sound of his voice. ‘I love you.’ 

The recollection of both are burning holes through Felix. After so long of wanting and wishing, it’s finally happened. And his heart, body and mind sync in impatience, waiting to get Seungmin where he wants him. After so long rolling around in the sheets with irrelevant people, he finally gets to crack the only person who has really been on his mind since the start of college. He gets to take care of the person who has mattered the most to him for the past near 2 years.

Something is off though. Usually Felix isn’t so horny, and the voice of his alpha within him isn’t so loud. From within it’s walls in the blondes body, it calls Seungmin’s name. Like a siren. It’s hard to ignore, and it becomes a real inconvenience while Felix is trying his hardest to focus on the caretaker part of spending a heat with Seungmin. The anticipation eats at him though, the want to just fuck him through his heat till their both exhausted. To knot him, and mark him, and claim him till he’s ruined for anybody else.

But even the horny part of him knows that being Seungmins caretaker and heat partner is more than that, with or without the pots and the extra symptoms. Luckily, there’s another part of him just as loud as his want to fuck into Seungmin and breed him. A domestic part, that wants to feed the omega, his omega, and be a grounding presence that has a positive effect on the designer's life.

 Felix never would have accepted the others' offer had he been blinded by lust and need to knot. Seungmin was right, that’s enough ignorance between them for a lifetime, they were going to be better.

He was going to be better.

Sitting in the bleachers during practice, Felix sips lazily from his water bottle, restless and unfocused for what feels like the thousandth day in a row. Everything around him feels like it’s dimmed for some reason, the only image floating around in his brain being that of Kim Seungmin, red faced and doe eyed, asking Felix if he’ll spend his heat with him. 

The blonde’s leg bounces as he grips his water bottle, antsy in the spot where he sits, willing down a boner. It’s so hard to keep waiting here doing nothing, knowing his omega is falling deeper into heat as the hours pass, suffering alone. Well, not alone. Even worse. Someone else is taking care of his omega. 

Felix shakes his head, attempting to rid himself of the selfish and possessive thoughts. That type of thinking is what got him in trouble in the first place. He has to learn to be more open, and less irritable about Seungmin’s relationships. They aren’t even together, it’s stupid to be so upset, claiming an omega that doesn’t belong to him. 

Felix leaves practice that afternoon still immersed in his head. His eyes watch his surroundings as he walks to his car, but never quite take them in with how absent he is in reality at the moment. The world around him is like background music in a dress up game, progressing but not particularly relevant in his specific predicament. 

Now here he is, in his car a day before Seungmin’s heat is supposed to officially begin, on his way to Changbin and Minho’s apartment to finish meal prepping for his, their omega. 

Felix knocks on the pairs door, overjoyed to see his hyungs when one whips the door open for him after a few seconds.

“Yongbok. You're late. I threw all the ingredients in the trash.” Minho tells him when he spots him in the hallway. Fellix giggles, leaping into the alpha arms. Despite the older males less than enthusiastic taps on Felix’s butt, his banana pudding scent expresses contentment, as do Felix’s marshmallows. 

“Sorry hyung, I took a couple wrong turns.” Felix excuses before walking past Minho, toeing off his shoes in the doorway, not bothering to wait for an invite in. Minho closes and locks the front door before following the blonde to the kitchen, where he immediately washes his hands and starts chopping, all too aware his hyung will be chopping off his fingers if he touches food with outdoor germs on him. 

They work around each other in a harmonious rhythm, silence brewing between them for a while, before something snaps and Minho decides to break it.

“You know, I told you I could finish the meal prep by myself. And I know you know I’m a perfectly capable cook.” 

Felix suddenly feels like a cornered animal, his consistent work with the knife only pauses for a moment, and now he somehow knows exactly where in the kitchen the other alpha is. 

“Of course I do. But I wanted to help.” Felix tries. He hears the older man hum in response. Despite being perfectly aware of Minho’s perceptiveness, he hopes wholly that his hyung will fall for it. Just this time. Because Felix doesn’t know if he’ll be able to talk with how choked up he already is, his resolve reflexively crumbling beneath how Minho reads him like a picture book. He really did just want company, to stop himself overthinking, but Minho is stubborn. And he’s certainly not stupid.

“Yongbok.” the man calls, the second chorus of movement in the kitchen stops, and Felix can feel his hyungs gaze boring into him. He tries to keep his hands busy to distract himself from his own inner turmoil, but everything that has happened over the past few weeks has taken it’s toll. He can feel himself falling apart by the moment, despite his best efforts. 

Felix can sense tears stinging his eyes when he finally drops the knife, instead opting to press the heels of his hands into his eye sockets, taking a few shaky breaths. 

When the younger alpha turns to face his hyung, he pulls the blonde's hands from his face and holds them in his own, rubbing the back of his palms soothingly. 

“What’s going on,Yongbok?” Minho asks him while he’s trying to steady his breathing and blink back tears. He turns to his hyung, face slowly contorting into that of twisted devastation as his tears overcome him. Minho gives him a moment, looking at him with a face that is right on par with a fond patience, never stopping the soothing rubbing of his hands. 

Despite Minho’s tight knit relationship of chaos with Seungmin, he’s always had a soft spot for their crybaby Yongbok; who’s forever had a tender heart and understanding smile. The thing about the sun is it never gets a break. It goes down somewhere and comes up in another place, everyone using it for warmth and life without much consideration for its needs. 

“I.. don’t want to be a burden. But a lot has been going on lately. The competition, then my fight with Seungmin, and before that Seungmin getting sick. I was a wreck at school, trying to choreograph the routine while keeping tabs on Minnie, who was in fucking coma for a week!” 

Minho abandons the small contact of hands and pulls Felix against him by the back of his neck, who goes willingly. He’s shaking now too. They may have gotten through it together, but a scare like that was bound to traumatize even the strongest soldiers. 

“Shhhh, it’s alright Yongbok. Hyung knows. Hyung was afraid too. We all we’re.”

“And then–... and then he woke up only for us to find out it had lasting effects?? Like him suffering with juggling so much and then going into a coma wasn’t enough? Now his first heat with me is going to be spent having seizures and suffering. The worst part about it is I can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault! Like everything that’s happened has been because of me. Like I’m the reason he’s hurting so much, and passing out everyday.”

“Oh, Yongbok.” It pains Minho to see the younger so in distress. Not only because he suffers, but because he’s been right next to him the whole time, experiencing the same thing. That combined with thinking he’s responsible for it must be suffocating. The older alphas' hearts hurt for him.

“I only wanted him to join the team to help him get out more, and to be closer to him. But I hadn’t realized it would take such a toll on his health. If I had I wouldn’t have asked him to join. I’m sorry-  and I told him I was. But he- he forgave me! And it doesn’t feel like he should have. I don’t deserve it.. I don’t–” Felix sobs into his hyungs shoulder, clinging to the man like a lifeline. 

Minho takes a deep breath while Felix bawling into his collarbone, fighting his own demons for the sake of his youngest alpha. Felix sniffles and hiccups, shaking with weeps that could rival sadness from inside out. 

“Listen, Yongbok.” Minho tells him, the blonde pulls him away from his shoulder to look at him, eyes and face red. Minho caresses his cheek softly, Felix leaning into it softly without a moment's hesitation, holding the mans wrist when he goes to match his gaze.

“What happened to Seungminnie is nobody’s fault. People will bullshit each other about everything happening for a reason, but that’s not true. Shit happens Yongbok, not always rightfully so. Seungmin is sick, that’s how things went. But he doesn’t just have pots, he has a pack, and he has you. You’ll be here to take care of him, and we’ll be right behind you. Nothing else matters. You both had errors over the past two years. But here and now is where you’ll fix it, right?”

Felix watches with glistening eyes as his hyung talks. It’s hard to believe your worth something when you let worry and guilt eat you alive. But if you're as lucky as Yongbok, you’ve got people who care enough to help you realize that you're human, and that you're better than your mistakes and stronger than your past.

“Seungminnie is strong, you are strong. We are gonna get through this. You’re the reason Seungminnie is going to feel protected during his heat, even if you can’t make the fear stop. And it’s okay if you don’t feel like enough, or you feel like you were too much right now. Because we all have pain, but that’s what we’re together for. Minnie is gonna be okay, Yongbok.”

“You are gonna be okay.”

-`✮´-

Felix arrives to the hospital few hours early, wanting to refrigerate Seungmins meal prep and make the room a bit more comfortable by cleaning up the space and making it less.. Hospital-ish. 

The room itself isn’t so bad. It resembles a hotel room rather than something scarier like a psych ward or facility. Which is reasonable, because even hospital heat rooms are built to make omegas comfortable. No windows, in order to keep you in and others out. An ac unit on the wall equipped with a remote that’s in on . There’s also a small kitchen area with a microwave and fridge, bathroom, a tv on the wall and a huge bed against the wall furthest from the entry.

Right next to it is a dresser with a tan lamp and a cell phone. In a bowl between them there’s a roll of tissue that’s presumably for cleaning up during aftercare, or for cum. Who knows? Felix certainly doesn’t. 

The blonde kneels in front of the rooms half size fridge and begins pulling items from his duffle bag, checking them off of a list as he does so. When his phone rings he answers immediately, already knowing who it is when a familiar contact name pops up on his screen. While the call connects he lines the tubs up by day on the shelf of the fridge, then pulling pedialytes from his bag along with a few warm ice packs, putting them in the freezer.

“You know, Seungmin’s heat doesn’t start for anotherrrr”… Jisung checks the time on his lock screen. “10 hours, and he doesn’t leave for the hospital for another 5. What are you doing up before the sun like a madman?” the beta groans. Felix smirks at his device where it sits on top of the fridge, knowing the other interrupted his own sleep just to lecture him about being punctual. He always has been quite the character.

“Why would I wait until Seungminnie is in heat to make his surroundings comfortable Sungie? Plus, his heats come in full swing, fast and all at once. Like you guys said. When he falls, I should be there to catch him, prepared. Not late.”
Even in the darkness of their dorm room Felix can tell Jisung is smirking at him, raising his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. “Your down bad man. Seriously. I thought it was bad when you ranting about Simmie wearing off the shoulder shirts and short shorts, I wasn’t aware it could get worse.”

“You guys are just as bad as me.” Felix teases, Jisung is silent for a moment, and Yongbok knows he’s got him. 

“Touche.” the beta relents, they giggle in unison. 

“You picked up the clothes from the hyungs apartment? And Hyunnie and Minnie’s dorm?”

“Yesss. Although I feel like I should throw everything on the bed for him, I also think I should let him build his nest for himself. But he might not be coherent enough to later on.”

“I think you should let him build it. If push comes to shove and he’s immobilized you can just throw everything on the bed and let him lay in the pile. During my heats I’m just happy to have the smell around me, Simmie is more or less the same way.” Jisung explains. 

Felix tries not to tighten his jaw at the reminder that Hyunjin and Jisung experienced Seungmin’s heats with him before he could, reminding himself with a deep breath that it was his fault, and that it no longer matters, especially considering the fact that their all a pack now. It helps a bit, but Yongbok is still feeling a bit possessive. Even now. 

“Who’s dropping Minnie off?” Jisung asks him, pulling him from thought.

“Uh– I’m going to get him. Changbin and Minho have classes, you and Channie hyung are supposed to be making a song right? And Hyunjin was supposed to be getting up to get some extra dance practice in. Somebody else probably could have dropped him but going to get him just seemed practical.” 

Jisung nods in understanding, shuffling in his bed. Felix sees the other cut his bedside lamp on and scoot off of his mattress. He watches curiously as he grabs his keys, no consideration for the way his hair looks or the fact that he is definitely shirtless. 

“Where are you going half naked, Hanji?” Felix giggles. Jisung shows no signs of dressing, walking straight out of the room and locking the door, trudging to the elevator. 

“Going to dog pile with Hyunnie and Simmie before you take him from us for a whole week.”

Felix only laughs. “Are you jealous?” It's the blonde's turn to do a squiggly little dance with his eyebrows, Jisung only staring at him in response, still half asleep. “I will swear word at you.”

Hours pass, and before Felix knows it he’s outside of Seungmin’s dorm, 2 hours before the omega’s heat is supposed to fully kick off. He knocks 3, 4 times, before the door swings open, revealing Hyunjin, who looks to be eating a lollipop and holding a paintbrush which he is seemingly in the process of cleaning, based on the lack of paint stench coming from the room. 

“Hyunnie!” Felix chirps, like he hasn’t been fighting demons the whole way over from the hospital. “Lix, if you come back from this and I still haven’t finished the piece I’m working on, you're welcome to sock me.”

“Of course.” Felix complies without missing a beat, chuckling as he walks past Hyunjin, not without patting his butt a few times good naturedly.  

Jisung sits tucked around Seungmin in Hyunjin’s bed, the omega between his legs, arms snug around his waist and head resting on his neck. Seungmin is reading a book of some kind, but Felix can’t focus on that with how enticing his pre heat smell is, despite the omegas seemingly unblemished complexion. 

He’s not sweating, nor is he humping the air and begging for suppressants. He’s perfectly calm, perfectly normal. Minho really wasn’t understating when he said everything hit the omega at once. 

‘Hm, that’s convenient.’ the alpha thinks to himself as he approaches the bed, climbing into it without a second thought and sitting back, pushing between the omegas legs and laying back on his chest, which is the opposite of Felix’s: soft and toned and instead of ripped.

Seungmin moves his book in tandem, simply lifting his arms and shoveling the hand holding the it to the side to allow Felix the space to snug between his thighs. His face remains straight, but Felix can see the omegas blushy cheeks despite himself. “Hold on, I’m almost done with this chapter.” he tells him. 

Felix chuckles, Jisung’s hands move from around Seungmins waist to accommodate Felix's as well, the amount of pheromones he’s releasing increasing so they cover both the omega and the alpha. They stay like that for a few minutes, attached and fitted to one another like train cars. Seungmin, ever the liar, reads 3 more chapters instead, and only stops once Felix pulls the book from his grasp, informing him they have to go. 

“I can smell you getting closer to your heat, and we have to be at the hospital when it starts. Come on.” Felix stands from the bed, scooting onto the floor before looking around the room for the omegas shoes. He spots them by the door and quickly goes to grab them before turning back to the sulky boy, taking his feet one at a time and sliding his feets in them when he makes no move to put them on himself.

The omega taps Jisungs hands, which are sealed around his middle like a vault door. The beta groans before reluctantly letting Seungmin go, pouting as he removes himself from the bed. 

They all say their goodbyes and the pair head back to Felix’s car to return to the hospital.

Seungmin is mostly silent on their way there, looking out the window silently while one of Felix’s playlists plays in the back. It’s raining out today, the sky not completely hidden from view but still full of spotting grey clouds. At least it is when they leave the dorm, 7 minutes into the car ride, it starts storming, the blue of the open space above them no longer visible. For a while it’s quiet, before Seungmin decides to speak up.

“I like the thunder.” He says simply, head leaning against the closed window, watching zig zags strike the sky. 

“Why’s that?” Felix asks him, glancing over at the omega when they approach a red light. The alpha knows exactly why Seungmin likes the thunder, he knows a lot more about the omega than he let’s on. But he likes to hear the pretty designer talk. Almost as much as likes to wear his designs, or watch him doodle them down in his many sketch books.

“Because, it shows even nature needs to scream sometimes. That even the sky –huge and perfect and bright– has dark days.”

Felix smiles at the reminder, taking the wheel in his left hand so he can reach over to the passenger side and lay his hand on the omegas thigh, gripping and squeezing it comfortably. Beneath his fingertips and past the material of the sweatpants that probably belong to Hyunjin, Felix can feel the unusually high temperature of the omegas skin warming his palm on the stormy day. 

-`✮´-

Seungmin successfully checks into the hospital within the hour without an issue. Nurse Nina gives Felix another run down on what to expect and how to handle it, reminding him to utilize the cell phone next to the bed and report the omegas state throughout the week. 

With a stern reminder to be careful and attentive, she provides him with resources he might need from the hospital before leaving the two to themselves in their room. When she finally exits, Seungmin has still not fully submerged in his symptoms, warm but not showing any other signs of discomfort. 

“Feeling okay?” Felix asks the omega for the fourth time in 10 minutes, Seungmin gives him an unimpressed look while he’s pacing the room, exasperated, like he’s the one about to be uncontrollably immersed in a state of paralysis and arousal. 

“Fine. Like I said I was 2 minutes ago. You’re worse than MInho hyung.” Seungmin tells him, zooming in on his ipad to better look at the design he’s sketching up. Felix takes into consideration Seungmin’s relaxed demeanor, deciding worrying is going to do nothing but freak him out. He takes a deep breath, crawling onto the bed closer to the other, sitting to his right. 

Their quiet for a bit, Felix watching the other flip through art in his sketchbook or switch from app to app on his ipad. Before long, he decides the only moment of piece they’ll have for the next week should be used wisely. 

“Seungminnie.” Felix calls, the omega hums in response, not looking up from where he’s adding sequins to a jacket on a sketch he’s doing. “I’m really happy you chose me this time. Especially considering the fact that this is different from the others. It must have been really hard to ask for help in such a delicate situation. Especially after I did everything wrong for the past 2 years..” 

With that, Seungmin looks over at the tiny alpha, staring in silence for a few long moments, his head tilted curiously. Like a puppy. Felix gives him a playful little merp smile to try and lighten the moment, his great dislike for serious instances making him the slightest bit uncomfortable.

Without a word, Seungmin leans over to the blonde, laying a chaste kiss on his lips that ends with a intimate smack. When the omega pulls away, Felix is the slightest bit dazed as he licks the taste of Seungmin off his own lips, glancing at the other with a growing hunger that makes something hot coil in the designer's gut.

“Lixie. There was never another choice. It's been you for 2 years almost.. I was just scared to admit it before. But now that I’ve come to realize how easy it is to lose you.. I can’t imagine letting fear hold me back from being happy.”

Felix blinks owlishly.

He doesn’t want to cry at such an incorrect time, but the emotions Seungmin is causing for him make him feel so much overflowing sentiment that he tears up, despite his desperate attempts at stopping them from forming. He quickly turns his head away, throwing up his hand to stop Seungmin from seeing his lashes become moist. “Just.. sorry. I have something in my eye.”

The omega laughs at the blondes demise, reaching over and caressing his cheek, turning his head back to himself to kiss the alpha again. Though his limbs are shaking and his heart is beating at a racing speed, he said what he needed to. Because it’s okay to be delicate. 

Time passes, and Seungmin allows the other man to cuddle him while he continues to mindlessly put together clothing in his head. Soon enough Felix leaves him to use the bathroom, where he washes his face and fights off the boner the omegas pre heat scent has caused for him. He  scolds himself in the mirror before he leaves the space, tying his hair back into a high up bun to keep it out of his face.

When he returns to the room, Seungmin is laying on his side, facing the opposite wall. The alphas nose twitches, and he immediately knows that in the few minutes he was gone, something has shifted. He hurries to the side  of the bed, placing a knee on the mess of blankets and clothing to balance himself as he reaches over to the omega, touching him lightly.

“Seungminnie?” he calls, the others skin is hot as lava, when he turns over, Felix’s heart drops into his stomach at his expression. 

Seungmin’s face is completely flushed, his hair is sticking to his forehead, nearly covering his half lidded eyes. He’s trembling where he lays in his makeshift nest, like he’s cold despite the fact that Felix knows his temperature is skyrocketing, up high to concerning numbers. Regular heat fevers are concerning enough, but warmth like this is bound to trigger syncope anytime soon.

“Fuck, that was fast.” The blonde huffs under his breath, sticking the back of his hand up against the omegas neck. Seungmin is looking up at Felix from his spot laying on his back, eyes glossy, panting uncontrollably. “Lix.” he calls, Felix’s cock twitches in response, he ignores it in order to lean closer to the omega, brushing his damp hair off of his forehead. “Yes, Seungminnie, I’m here. How are you feeling? Talk to me, baby.” he grabs the voice recorder from the side of the bed as Seungmin mumbles out a response. 

“I’m cold, but so warm. I’m tired… and I. I want, I want you inside of me. It hurts. Everything hurts.” Seungmin says suddenly, Felix stops his fumbling with the voice recorder, looking down at the omegas trembling figure on the bed. Seungmin doesn’t back track or repeat when they lock eyes. The omegas hand reaches up, shaky but on a mission. He grabs and tugs on the alphas shirt weakly, repeating the motion over and over again until Felix has to take his hand in his own, holding it softly. 

“Wait– Minnie– I have some pedialyte and ice packs. We have to lower your temperature before–”

Felix stops suddenly when Seungmin rolls onto his opposite side, facing the alpha with a loud sob. He whines, exasperated, throwing a weak little punch at the air in front of him. Felix’s heart clenches, he almost feels like he’s suffocating with how adorable the other is being, and how much his pouting affects him. But Seungmin’s safety is his priority right now, he can’t let the other get the best of him.

Quickly, he records the start date of Seungmins heat as well as his condition when he goes to fill a bucket with ice and fetch pedialyte from the fridge. “Lee Felix’s report for Kim Seungmins heat. Start at 10:42 AM. No sign of seizing or unusual discomfort.” he says hurriedly into the device before placing it back onto the nightstand, assisting the omega in sitting up in the bed.

Felix supports the lean weight of Seungmins scorching body with an arms around the omegas waist while he traps the pedialyte bottle between his legs, twisting the top off with his free hand. He grips the bottle with his right, lifting it to Seungmins mouth. The omega turns his head away stubbornly, pouting instead of making it easy for Felix. 

The alpha sighs, sliding his hand up from Seungmins back to gently caress the behind of his neck, trying to softly coerce him into drinking. “Come on Seungminnie, you need electrolytes. Please?” Felix pleads, without responding, his large hand slides up to glide down Felix’s hard chest, once again gripping his shirt and tugging on it. Felix quickly decides begging isn’t going to get him anywhere, and goes with the next best thing.

“Seungminnie. You want to get fucked?”

The omega quickly stops his needy tugging, eyes opening to attention at that. He nods urgently where his head is laying on Felix’s shoulder, responding quietly. “Yes. Please, I want to get fucked. Pretty please.” he whines. Nothing has ever sounded so enticing to Felix, he barely controls his lust.

“Then drink this for me, and we can get there quicker. I can’t fuck you if your seizing on me, or unconcious. Help me help you, yeah?” Felix reasons in a low voice, giving Seungmin a leveling look of adamant expression when he turns his head to look at the blonde. He nods slowly, opening his mouth and swallowing down the liquid. 

“Good boy, my Mimi. I need you to get at least half of this down, yeah?”
Seungmin nods again, blinking through his daze. He tries his hardest to not fall back onto the bed and pass out, or bite Felix’s hand out of frustration when it gets close to feed him the liquid. Surprisingly enough, he succeeds, allowing the other to hold the bottle so he can sip slowly.

 Felix is patient on the outside, where the wellbeing of his favorite person is in his hands. Realistically though, he’s never been more erect in his life. His hands shake with anticipation where one is snaked beneath the omegas arm, hand holding his head, and carrying the strawberry beverage for Seungmin to gulp down. 

He watches with astonishment as the omegas sweaty throat shakes with each swallow, eyes never leaving Felix’s. When Seungmin has swallowed down a majority of the bottle he deems it enough for now, gently laying the other back down in the bed before returning the bottle to the fridge. 

He then soaks a towel in his bow of ice water for a few seconds before placing it on Seungmin’s forehead, who whines  at the cold touch of the fabric. Felix proceeds to pull Seungmins hoodie off of him alongside his sweatpants so he’s left in his shorts and shirts. Very tiny shorts, Felix unhelpfully notices. 

“We have to cool your temperature, Seungminnie.” Felix tells the other as he’s on his knees in the bed in front of him, removing his socks and setting them to the side in a pile with his other clothing. Seungmin doesn’t care for that at the moment, he stretches his long legs out in front of him, wrapping them around Felix’s waist and stopping him from moving away. 

Felix makes a small sound of pleasure when the omega tightens his legs to pull the blonde against himself, hips moving in a needy motion up and down when he feels the brick hard length of Felix in his pants. He malfunctions simpy at the thought of it, drool pooling out of his mouth onto his cheeks when he rocks his head to the side at a loss of strength. 

“Please Bokkie, you promised. You promised. I was good, wasn’t I? Please.” He mewls, tears prickling at his eyes and chest rising and falling with every deep breath. Felix is a weak, weak man. And he has no further reason to deny his sweet omega anything.

“Bokkie, take off your shirt.” Seungmin pleads as he tugs on the material again, a little bit harder this time. Felix chuckles, glad he tied his hair up before this when he lifts the material off his torso, whipping it over his head. Before he has the chance to toss it, Seungmin takes it from him, shoving his face in it eagerly, inhaling it’s scent. One hand holds the artifact to his face, the other traces shapes on Felix’s hard chest and abs, and he can feel himself losing control, unraveling at everything the omega does.  

He pushes up Seungmins shirt to show his adorable nipples; grunting in relief from pressing the outline of his cock in his pants up against the crack of Seungmins perky ass, where he can smell the mans slick basically pouring from his hole. 

Felix lifts the omegas' long legs up onto his shoulders before he reaches down and waistbands of his shorts and underwear alike, pulling them off in one quick swipe. 

Suengmin kicks out of them, more eager than Felix by this point and time. His hole flutters where it sits moist and needy below the alpha, giving off the most intoxicating aroma the man has had the pleasure of smelling in his life time. He stares at the mans unused hole for a few moments, savoring the image in his head before Seungmin wiggles his hips impatiently.

“Lix.” He calls, Yongbok chuckles at the omegas impatience before he reaches down, beaming at how the tight hole sucks his finger in when he presses past the soaked outer ring of the muscle. Seungmin makes a small noise at the breach, but otherwise shows no reaction to the movements when the alpha does nothing yet for a few long seconds between the press. 

When Seungmin whines in impatience, Felix pressses in a second fingers, watching in a state of heightened arousal as the other squirms while the alpha finger fucks him on 2 of his digits, the shirt still pressed to the bottom of the omegas face and towel still going strong sitting on his sweaty head.

 The material highlights the color and glistening of Seungmins pretty doll face,  and Felix bucks his hips at how much he craves to fuck into the omega, and knot him right now. 

“Lix, Lixie you don’t need to stretch me, I’ve been wet for hours. Please- ahh!” Seungmins words are interrupted when Felix crooks his fingers in the omegas hole, then scissoring them as he speaks to the soaked man in his deep and ground breaking voice. “Why? You've been wet from cuddling with Sungie since this morning? Is that it?” He teases, for some reason feeling a little possessive despite him being the one with his fingers buried deep in Seungmins slicked ass. 

The omega shakes his head feverishly, lips in a pout as he talks. “No, Bokkie. I was wet thinking about you, and finally being able to have you in me after so long. Please, I need it. I can’t think, everything is so hazy, the only thing I can see is you, and the only thing I can think about is your cock, please.” 

Felix could have finished to that had he not been so immersed in caretaker mode. He rubs his thumb gently on the outside of Seungmins spitting hole, only one thing on his mind other than fucking into the omega laid out in front of him. 

“Seungminnie, your hole is so small. And your tummy is so flat. Do you think.. Do you think you can take it?” He ask’s the other, genuinely curious. Seungmin gives the other a concerned look, usually he’d snap back with a joke. Something maybe along the lines of ‘ cocky much?’ 

But Felix seems genuinely concerned. 

Excitement cooks in the omegas gut like a summertime gumbo, or a turkey on broil. Amongst all titles, what’s the last thing you’d expect an omegan law student with the nickname ‘academic’ and perfect attendance to be? 

A party animal?

A teen mother? 

A—

“Size queen.” Felix supplies when he smells the exhilaration filling Seungmin’s enticing cinnamon scent, watching as additional slick pool around where his thumb, plugging the omegas hole. He smirks at that, scoffing at the irony of Seungmin’s hidden kink. 

“Fuck Seungminnie. You’re going to be the death of me.”

With that, the alpha moves to untie his sweatpants, when he sits up on his knees Seungmin pulls back his long legs, watching with anticipation as the man shoves down his boxers and bottoms. His eyes widen when the material is removed to show a thick and long cock that pops out of the cramped space like a jack in the box. 

When it falls, it lands right between Seungmins legs on top of his own, sitting on his belly. The damned thing has to be at least double the size of his own, and Seungmins eyes widen with astonishment at how large it is in comparison. He almost feels ashamed. 

“What the fuck?” Seungmin says, almost irritated. “What the hell do you need all of that for??”

Felix giggles sheepishly, licking his lips as he impatiently rubs his cock up against Seungmins much smaller one. “It runs in the family.”

“The monster cock or the grow no show part??” For a moment Seungmin is completely in his right mind, sobered the staggering inches leaking pre cum into his belly button.

The alpha chuckles. “Both.”

Seungmin shakes his head, he wouldn't believe it had he not been seeing and feeling it for himself. But it looks like Yongbok’s past one night stands were not being dramatic. It really is monstrous. 

“What the hell is someone so tiny doing with a third leg, this is so fucked up.” Seungmin whines, he sure as hell is gonna be sore, but he can’t wait to get stretched open by the alphas stupefying –what has to be– 10 inches.

Felix pouts at that, still the same sweet sunshine boy despite the absolute beast he’s packing. It’s almost laughable, would be if Seungmin weren’t worried for the positioning of his guts. Even so, his head is clouded, his brain absolutely buzzing while the little voice in his skull chanting ‘ cock cock cock cock’ over and over again, like a dick hungry whore. 

“I’ll show you tiny.” Felix promises, before backing his hips away, aligning himself with Seungmins leaking and fluttering hole, lifting the omegas legs in his hands once he presses his tip in. Slowly, but with the patience of a hungry child, he pushes his cock into the younger boys probing ass, groaning as Seungmins heat sucks him in with debilitating greed.

Seungmin cries out in stimulation as the alpha splits him open, inch by inch. Felix is only half way in when he hooks one of the omegas legs on his waist so he can reach down and wipe tears from his face, already panting from how welcoming his omegas hole is. “Seungminnie.” Felix whines at the tightness. “Hell, Seungminnie. You look so pretty taking my cock. So perfect. Right? Don’t cry.” Yongbok says as he wipes another tear from the omegas lashes. 

“Say it, say you look so pretty on my cock. Please? For me?” 

Seungmin can’t do anything but keen out helpless moans at just the few inches he’s managed to take so far, but he tries his hardest to comply anyways. 

“I.. I look so pretty on your cock.” He mumbles, just loud enough for the other to hear. 

“Yeah. You do? You look so pretty.. On who’s cock.. Seungminnie?”  Felix sing songs as he presses further, rocking into the tight space like he’s meant to be there.

“On Lixie’s cock. Please Lix.. It’s pulsating. Please fuck me. I can’t take it.”

“Say it, Seungminnie. Say it. Whose?” the blonde tells him, lightly touching the growing print in the omegas flat tummy.

“I look so pretty on Lixie’s cock. It’s Lixie’s cock, fuck..”

Felix snaps his hips up against Seungmins ass, balls knocking against his skin when he bottoms out. When Felix’s dick hits the inside wall of his stomach. Even with his lack of strength, he wants to look down to see the other from the outside. He can’t move though, paralyzed both the anaconda up his ass and the fever striking through his body.

“Fuck Mimi, it’s so good, your so good. I’m gonna breed you. Can I cum inside, Seungminnie? Please?” Feix rasps, breathless as he hangs over the omega, his legs over his shoulders while he mercilessly drills into him like it’s his last time fucking. Between the sinful slapping of slicked and sweaty skin, and his heat, as well as the static from his pots building in his crown, Seungmin is basically brain dead. 

He nods despite himself. Despite no desire to have kids, he wants to milk Felix like a farm cow. This is a dangerous game they’re playing, in all honesty. Omegas are known to be much more fertile during heats, just as betas are. This could very well end badly. But Seungmin doesn’t care about that right now. He just wants to be pumped full of Felix’s cum. He needs it. 

“Yesyesyesyes.” He blubbers out, repeating the word over and over again, mumbling is more like it. “Seungminnie. Look, baby.” Felix tells him, Seungmin struggles to find the strength to lift his head. Noticing, Felix slows his strokes, pulling himself off of the omega, dropping his legs. He scoots back out of the bed, standing at the foot, Seungmin mewls pathetically, urgently, when Felix pulls out to move away. 

Felix smirks at the omegas neediness, but he doesn't leave him hanging for too long. When his feet touch the ground, he immediately leans back over the edge of the bed, grabbing Seungmins ankles and dragging him to the edge until his ass is hanging off the matress just enough. 

The alpha steps completely out of his pants and underwear, quickly realigning with the others gaping hole, shoving himself inside without courtesy this time. 

Seungmin lets out a gutteral moan, like he’s been puctured, he can feel something of a syncope coming along beneath the hazyness of his heat, and he can’t help but think how inconvenient it is for one to find him in such a moment. Ringing begins to sound in his ears, and though he knows he should tell Felix to stop, he doesn’t want to. A few minutes wouldnt hurt, right?

Felix fits himself between the omegas legs comfortably once again, he doesn't fret before starting his strokes up once more, this time cradling the back of Seungmins neck, sitting his head up so he can successfully look down at his stomach. 

“You see that Seungminnie? How pretty.” Felix tells him, breathless as he fucks into Seungmin like a maniac. 

Between them, there’s a repeatedly growing and shrinking bulge in the omegas tummy, right where Felix’s cock had ended when it flopped onto Seungmins stomach earlier, at his belly button. Seungmin can’t help it, he cums right there and then.

He shakes like a leaf, trembles even, as he exudes sticky beads of white onto his own stomach. His insides constrict around Felix’s cock when the alpha slows his fucking down to a stop, heeding nurse Nina’s warning about overstimulation. Working himself the rest of the way with his hand, which isn’t far, Felix cums on Seungmins tummy, adding to the already complied pool of substance on the omegas skin.

Felix strokes Seungmin’s cheek as he comes down from his high, tender and soft while he tries to catch his breath. 

“Lixie, I’m having, syncope..” Seungmin says right as he loses consciousness, body untensing and head falling back as dead weight into the alpha’s hands. Felix nods, licking his lips. He leans down, moving the towel and kissing Seungmin’s forehead, as well as his cheek, leaving the omegas head resting in one hand in order to reach down and rub Seungmins thigh comfortingly. 

“Good job, Minnie. Thanks for letting me know. Your doing great, pretty boy.” he whispers. With a sweet exhale, he removes himself from between the omegas legs, gently setting down Seungmin’s legs so he can walk across the room into the bathroom, fetching a towel. 

He wets the cloth with warm water, walking back into the bedroom and wiping the omegas stomach clean.

He then maneuvers the younger boy's body into one of Minho’s too big shirts, hoping he’ll find comfort in the scent of one of their packmates when he wakes up. 

He measures his heart rate, recording another entry for his record before gently manhandling the taller boys surprisingly light body back to the centre of the bed. Felix then changes the omegas cooling towel, turns the air in the room down a little more, and dresses himself in one of Jisung’s pairs of sweatpants before climbing into the bed.

He spoons the omega as he waits for Nurse Nina to come check on him and tell him that his sweet boy is all right, drifting into sleepy naturally. 

Chapter Text

The next day, Felix repeats the process. He makes sure the rooms cool, he replaces Seungmin’s towel to keep his temperature low, he relaxes with Seungmin in his hold while the omega is knocked out.

After Nurse Nina showed up, she checked Seungmin's state, claiming it was a regular syncope combined with the intensity of his orgasm, assuring Felix his omega was alright. Nurse Nina also informed him that Seungmin was going to wake up once his body succeeded at keeping his fever at bay. Unfortunately, that could take days, or hours. Neither of them knows exactly when, and it scares Felix, even if it is reassuring to be told Seungmin is perfectly safe.

On day 3, Seungmin awakens, exahausted and sweaty. Felix can’t help it, when he notices the other stirring he bounds across the room with a beaming smile on his face, waiting patiently for the omega to fully open his eyes.

“Hello, my angel omega. How pretty you are when you sleep.” 

Seungmin blinks a couple times where he is on his back, nearly completely buried in his makeshift nest. When he makes a move to get up, Felix sits by his side, cradling him by his waist and the back of his neck, pulling him into a sit up position. 

“Take it easy, I’m sure you're sore.” Felix chuckles smuggly, he positions the omega to sit back against the headboard of the bed so he can pad over to the fridge, grabbing the oversized water bottle he had for occasions such as now. When Seungmin is awake and needs to stay cool and hydrated. 

“Lots of electrolytes in here. Drink up.” Felix tells him. He knows Seungmin only half understands him, especially with how his chocolate chip pupils are still clouded by lust and want, raking over Felix’s naked torso as he sips from the water bottle the alpha holds for him. As he slurps the liquid down, he thinks about the alphas huge cock locking inside him. Nothing more nothinig less, his mind simply chanting the same word in repetition. 

‘ Knotknotknotknotknotknotknot.’

“I see that look on your face. No more sex until we get you in the bath, and feed you.” Felix tells him, the omegas dead face immediately breaks, he whines loudly, suddenly turning his head away from the straw of the cup, stubbornly closing his eyes and mouth. 

“Seungminnie. If this were a normal heat we could fuck as much as you want to. I enjoy being inside you.” Felix defends, pouting right alongside the omega. Seungmin looks back at him with an adorably angry and irritable look of disbelief that Felix’s heart constricts at. 

“I do! I like having sex with you, but we have to keep seizing to a minimum. So we have to be careful. Right now, what’s best is to give you a cool bath and get some salt in your system. You’ve been asleep for nearly 3 days.”

Felix knows the other is delirious with heightened arousal and fatigue, but he also knows Seungmin is intelligent and strong, and that even under the spell of heat fevers, it’s partly useful to try and reason with the omegas logical mind, which seems to be always trying to function even when his thinking is supposed to be dormant. Seungmin is a strong omega though, with powerful resolve. That much has been proven by his 2 years defying everyone's judgement on taking law classes, and his ability to bargain during heat, when most omegas wouldn’t even be able to beg vocally in a manner that’s understandable. 

“Seungminnie. Alpha promises to knot you as many times as you want if you just shower, eat, and finish your water. Yeah?” 

It’s embarrassing to have to gentle parent your crush into complying with you, but if that’s what works for Seungmins omega, who’s driving the boat in the younger mans head right now, Felix will do it a thousand times over.

Eventually, Seungmin complies, allowing Felix to feed him the rest of the liquid, feed him one of the pre cooked meals he made, and get him into the shower. It takes a bit, with Seungmin delirious and unable to move. Felix does the moving for him, as well as the feeding and the cleaning, all while Seungmin steadily loses consciousness, his body in a constant battle with both his pots and his heat. 

Day 4 is a bit harder, Seungmin seizes, twice, in one day. One of the times, felix panics anf freezes for a moment, watching with trembling hands as Seungmins eyes roll back in his head, and he stops responding. He quickly calls in the nurses, who storm the room like the swat team as Felix standing in the corner of the space, shaking. 

He’s ashamed of himself to say the least, but Nurse Nina assures him that it doesn’t mean Seungmin isn’t safe with him. She says it’s completely normal for significant others to freeze up the first time they witness a seizure. It helps Felix feel less useless, but he still scared himself a damaging amount after he snapped out of his stupor. 

The second time, he’s much more prepared, quickly taking action and moving Seungmin to the floor, clearing the area of anything that could hurt him and turning him on his side. He sets a timer, calmly watches with a rabbiting heart as Seungmins twitching starts, quickens, and finally slows to a stop. He checks his heart rate, records the event and waits patiently for the younger to come back into consciousness. 

Throughout their time locked in the heat room, they go through a lot. The pack comes to visit a few instances at all different times of the week, checking on Seungmin and seeing how Felix is holding up. Seungmin seizes, he faints, he cums, he cries. Time and time again. And during each occasion, Felix is there. 

He changes Seungmins towel, what feels like a million times. 

He changes Seungmins clothing everyday.

He cleans Seungmin when he’s covered in both of their cum, and bathes him as often as possible. 

He feeds Seungmin when the omega will take it, and clean him up even when his body rejects it. 

It is less than pretty, it’s far from joyful, it’s more than intimate. But despite the hardships the events bring, Felix stays. He stays by Seungmins side, and even if all Seungmin can think about is cock, he is grateful from where he is within himself, out of control while his omega takes the wheel.

Eventually, day 7 rolls around. After a long and hectic battle,  it’s soon to come to an end in a few short hours. Now, with Seungmin and Felix in bed together, face to face as Seungmin’s constant sweating begins to slowly but surely recede, and his body becomes his own again, Seungmin makes another request.

“Bokkie.” he breathes, the omegas voice ragged and weak from either moaning or disuse for hours at a time. “Knot.” He requests simply.

Felix giggles from his spot admiring the other's pretty face on his side, leaning forward and kissing Seungmin with a hand caressing his cheek. He sits up, rolling over on top of Seungmin in one swift movement. 

Now between the omegas legs, Felix sits back on his heels, pulling out his slowly filling cock with a low groan, stroking himself a bit to spread his pre cum. Though they don’t much need it with how wet Seungmin’s still gushing hole is.

“You’ve done such a great job, Minnie. Just a few more hours till you can get checked out, and we can leave. We’ll be able to finish up these last few weeks of school, and then–...” Felix groans as he pushes himself in, the omegas lips spreading in a choked off exclaim of pleasure. “--And then.. We can have each other for the summer. Yeah?” 

Seungmin moans at the stretch of Felix’s cock spreading his tight hole, nodding in agreement as he talks. The best part about it? It isn't a mindless agreement. His mental fog has been clearing a significant amount since that morning, and he wants nothing more than to belong to Felix for as long as the alpha will have him. 

“Seungminnie.” Felix whines, his slow and intimate strokes starting to pick up pace. Seungmin can already feel the knot forming at the stimulation. “Seungminnie. You mean the world to me. And you feel so good. Like you belong on my cock.” the alpha whispers. He leans down to cage Seungmin between his arms, holding himself up as he collides their hips in a repeated motion, pounding into the other. 

It’s music to Seungmins ears. All of it. The slapping of skin, Felix’s moaning and heavy breathing, the confessions of affection between massive breaths. He feels like he’s going to cum right there and then. 

“I do.” Seungmin reciprocates for the first time in days. He’s failed to form intelligible sentences for the last week, but now, thankfully, his ability to speak and think are coming back to him. 

“I want you to be mines, Lixie. Be my alpha.” Seungmin drags his finger nails down Felix’s back, adding to the collection of scratches already there. The blonde hisses at the sting, but his strokes speed up as he talks back. 

“Fuck, yes. Minnie. I want that, a lot. I… I love you. Kim Seungmin.” He confesses, Seungmins teary eyes widen, when he looks up Felix’s face is beat red. He’d assumed Felix’s affections we’re romantic, but not love, after he hadn’t said it back when Seungmin divulged the week before. But he sees now that such an action was intentional, Felix had been waiting for the right moment. 

“I love you too, Lix.” Seungmin reciprocates, tears falling from his eyes when Felix’s hips are forced to come to a stop, his knot locking inside of Seungmin quickly and without budging.

They both take this time to catch their breaths, staring at each other with mutual longing brewing in the space where their eyes meet.

This entire situation has been hectic. 

From Seungmin fumbling over his words for 2 years, to the guy he can’t keep his composure around spending his heat with him.

But though the road was long, he learned a lot of valuable lessons on his way getting here. 

They could get listed one by one, dissected detail for detail, minute after minute to make Seungmin and Felix’s ending long and sappy, but the end lesson is this:

Life is too short for you to live for anyone other than yourself. Your life is too vulnerable for you to treat it like it doesn’t matter. Your world is too unique for you to change it to look like or even appose someone else’s, and your heart beats too often for you to treat it like it’s dead. If you do that, it might as well stop.

Seungmin lays in bed with the man he thought he’d never have, tired but the happiest he’s been in months. And the truth about his situation, is that though he’s locked together with Felix physically at the moment, their souls had been intertwined for a long time. Sadly enough, it took a life changing scare for him to take advantage of it.

In this moment, with Felix laying solemnly on his chest; Seungmin realizes it’s okay for him to be both practical and precious. Matter fact, it’s best to have a little bit of both.