Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Your muscles burn as you run, pushing every ounce of energy into getting farther down the hallway. Don't look back, don't look back. You chanted in your mind as the screams got closer. Skidding into a hard left turn you almost fall. You scramble back up you catch a glance at the monster chasing you as it slashes through bodies with ease. But you have to keep going. Your lungs heave in air filled with smoke and the smell of burning flesh. The crackling and blasting sounds grow closer. Forcing your legs to pump even harder, sprinting past limp bodies and scorched walls.

Almost there.

Quick right turn. You just have to make it to the end of this hall, through the door is the hanger, and your chance to escape.

A sound of pure anger erupts from the monster as he gets closer. It fills your mind with terror, the adrenaline pumping through your veins getting impossibly higher.

Finally your sweaty hands touch the cold hanger door. You throw it open the smell of metal and fuel hits your nose. A moment of hope then suddenly your legs get ripped out from under you as your body slams into the wall. The world goes sideways as your body rag-dolls and gets thrown again. Desperate screams erupt from your throat as your stomach lurches and you hit the rubble covered ground.

Your vision fades in and out as your fingers grasp at the floor, tendons burning with the stretch trying to grip and pull yourself closer to the door. The movement making your ribs crackle and sear with pain alerting to you that they may be broken. The pounding of your skull merges with the thudding of heavy boots as they come up to you. Electric crackling and heat hovers just above you, making your hair stand on end. A boot carelessly wedges itself under your torso and kicks you over on to your back. A scream rips from your mouth as you realize your ribs are most definitely fractured.

A black hulking mass stares down at you, bathed in jittery red light. The sound of stormtroopers clanking armor came to a stop behind the monster. Despite the pain you craned your neck back as far as it could go to look out the door to the hanger, hopelessly watching the ships that could have saved you, take off and fly away. Your view became obstructed as more stormtroopers stepped from behind the doorway.

You never had a chance.

The saber hisses shut as your vision blurs and darkens at the edges. Exhaustion began to set in as blood pooled around your body. As the monster crouched down, you begged your body to move but lay helpless as his hand reached out, then everything went black.

The first thing you noticed was the deep gnawing pain in your chest, every attempt at a full breath left you wincing. Though your eyes were shut tight, the amount of light shining through them caused blinding head pain. Slowly you became aware of a whirring and beeping sound. On instinct you tried to sit up only to discover that you had been strapped down to the table. In a sudden panic your eyes flew open, quickly locating the small spherical droid making the sounds. Thinking felt like trying to push through a fog, fighting to recognize what this droid was doing. It used its fine metal fingers to stitch up a gash across your abdomen. Brows furrowed you watched it carefully tend to your wound. The room felt sterile and all blended together as it spun. You must be in some sort of medbay. Slowly your eyes closed as you gave into the part of your brain demanding you rest. You were safe, being healed. If they were to torture you it would be later, for now it is better to rest. Your exhaustion won out as you faded back out into nothingness.

When you open your eyes again the lights in the medbay had been turned off and the small droid was gone. Your thoughts feel like molasses as you try to pull yourself together.

You look around at the dark grey metal that made up the walls and floors, looking to find any information about where you were. You were in a Medbay, that much was obvious, and the steady familiar humming of engines told you that you were on a ship- a big ship. There was no way to know what ship, or where that ship even was. You thought back to when you were running through the halls, how long ago was that?

As your mind ran through the corridors of the base you had called home you could feel tears begin to form. All those bodies. Your friends, your coworkers, all were lifeless and slumped on the floor. You had no idea who escaped. You had no idea who else might have been captured…At that thought you will your tears away, you had to focus, there was no time to mourn them now. If the First Order captured you and were putting in the effort to ensure you healed, they may be doing the same for others.

Your attention was caught by a small beeping sound, you looked around to see the same small spherical medical droid detaching from its port in the wall. Your vitals must have indicated that you had woken up. There wouldn't have much time before personnel would be alerted as well. You tug at the restrains with no luck, then flex your bandaged hands. Thankfully you still have full mobility but the faint splotches of blood beginning to seep through some of the gauze wasn't a great sign. You had no idea what the IV drips that were attached to your arm were but it occurred to you that your brain fog may be caused by the mysterious liquid in your veins. The thought caused a deep shudder but then you froze. The sound of boots grew closer. Time was up. You quickly closed your eyes and went limp, pretending to be asleep as the door whooshed open.

The lights turn on and the sound of two stormtroopers armor clank as they enter and continue their conversation.

"He force threw the poor bitch against a wall, I saw it myself."

"Damn, and that is the only one we got? All that for some no-name resistance tech?"

"Yeah, it was my scheduled day off when I got the call that there was a last minute change of plans. That I was needed to guard the ship while they did a pick up. Had no idea the pick up was a person."

"Nah, there must have been more. The higher ups are never straight with us, remember that "noncombustible" shipment last month? Can't trust them to tell the whole truth."

"Them? You mean Kylo Ren. It's those force users that you can't trust."

Your mind reels as it takes in the information. I was the only one captured... and an unplanned pick up? What was going on?

Just as they mention his name, like a curse, the doors open again. He stood in the doorway as the troopers stood in silence awkwardly hoping they hadn't been heard.

"She's awake." His voice crackles through his helmet as he speaks.

"Uh yes sir. The medical droid alerted to consciousness, but she seems to have faded back out like last time. Sorry for the false alarm." Silence sits awkwardly between them. The Droid began to change out the soiled bandages on your torso.

"Get out," Kylo commands. The troopers quickly exited the room grateful not to be in close proximity with the force user for long.

You try to keep your breathing even as the heavy footsteps come closer. He's standing over you. A moment passes and you feel eyes boring through you.

"I know you are awake."

You slowly open your eyes and look up at the reflective mask looking down at you.

Your jaw sets, memories of him crouching over your body after having been thrown around like a rag doll. The roar of anger as he chased you down. You decided to stay silent until he speaks.

He stood there for a moment as you both just looked each other over.

"Do you know why I have brought you here?" His voice crackled with static through the vocoder in his helmet.

You glared up at him as best as you could while your head pounded steadily. "No."

"No idea at all?"

"I'm in med Bay because I'm injured…" memories of the attack flowed through your foggy mind. "Because you threw me into a wall," You accused sharply.

A sinister chuckle comes from behind the mask, "Yes, I did." He paused for a moment, "Do you know why I didn't kill you like the rest of the vermin in that base?"

A short silence followed as if he was actually expecting you to answer.

"Interesting," He hums for a moment. "You really don't know."

You groaned in frustration, you were tired and in pain and he was playing games with you. "No, I don't know why evil men massacre, for fun perhaps?"

"I plucked you from that shit hole because I have use for you," he growled.

Your face gave away your confusion as you stared up at him. "What?"

Without bothering to answer he turns to the screen beside you to read whatever medical data the droid had reported.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" You demanded.

"You need to eat." He completely ignored your question.

Just as you were about to ask again your stomach growled as if responding to him. It occurred to you that you still didn't know how long you had been asleep.

"Two days." You looked up at the masked man in confusion. "You've been asleep for two days, recovering from…" He scrolled down, skimming through the information.

"A concussion, two fractured ribs, and various mild lacerations," he concluded.

It took you a moment to piece together what had just happened, then you glared up at him. "Keep out of my head," you scowled. He turned away not acknowledging your words and walked to the door. It opened and he stepped out for a moment to speak with a stormtrooper. You sincerely hoped he was leaving though your hopes were dashed as he came back in a moment later.

"Your food will be delivered to you here. I will be back to speak with you later but do know that there will be a guard posted outside of this room at all times. It is in your best interest to rest and not become a problem." He spoke in a monotone but his words carried obvious threat.

Before you could respond he had turned away and left, his cape flowing behind him as he walked off with purpose. The door closed and left you to your thoughts.

What the fuck is going on?

Chapter Text

You were beginning to drift off again when your food was delivered to you. The person who brought your food also wordlessly released the ties that had held you down, then left. Along with the tray of food was a change of clothes. You looked at the folded fabric suspiciously as it was sat beside you. Something about putting on clothing worn by the First Order made your capture feel all the more real, like they were somehow sinking their claws deeper into you. Shaking it off you changed into the simple black pants, shirt, and jacket. They weren't uncomfortable but it still made your skin crawl. You quickly ate your meal, thankful that it wasn't as bad as you had expected.

Then you waited. You paced, looked over your wounds, poked around the room, and even carefully folded the medical gown you had been wearing. Still nothing. It started to get to you, any sound in the hallway could be Kylo Ren coming to kill you after deciding you weren't worth keeping alive. Your mind began winding through different scenarios and putting yourself even more on edge. After getting spooked by yet another set of footsteps coming and going down the hall you decided enough was enough. The door was locked, you weren't leaving so may as well do something to calm down until the boogeyman returns.

You settled on to the bed, sitting with your legs crossed and gently closed your eyes. It had been years since you had meditated, but having done it so much as a child it came back to you relatively easily. You thought of the small community you grew up in. The beautiful remote forest that you had called home and the tight knit relationships between you and all the other families living there. Meditation had been a regular practice, first being taught at a young age. All of the children would gather in the mornings and go be taught by the communities elders while the other adults worked to provide. A small smile grew on your face as you remembered racing each morning to the large pavilion at the center of the village and spending your days there. You had always been stubborn and used to struggle with some of the schooling, but the things you learned there were indispensable. Fighting and basic survival skills were important to know in a war torn galaxy.

Before you could continue to reminisce the door opened revealing Kylo's menacing silhouette. He stormed into the room and locked the door behind him. When he turned back around he paused for a moment as if surprised to see you there.

"What are you doing?" His question came almost as an accusation.

"Waiting." Your blunt response seemed to bring back the frustration he had entered the room with. You watched him tense slightly as if he was holding himself back. His next question took you by surprise.

"What position did you hold with the Resistance?"

"Communications Technician." Your response seemed to surprise him just as much.

"A Communications Technician?" He sounded disbelieving for some reason.

"Yes, I repaired comm systems in ships and on base." You carefully watched his reaction, confused as to why this was important or unexpected. Why had he gone through all the trouble of capturing you if he didn't even know what your job was?

"What are your qualifications?" His volume rose slightly giving away how quickly his patience was wearing thin.

"My…Qualifications? For repairing communication systems? I took an aptitude test when I joined the resistance." His reaction to your response came clearly as a warning so you nervously continued explaining. "I scored highest in basic technology repair and second in combat, my boss trained me in communication technology specifically. They send me to unsecured locations to get communications up…" At this point you knew you were babbling, he didn't need to know this, but your training history wouldn't reveal any secrets to the First Order.

He only seemed to be getting angrier with each word.

"Combat. Where did you learn to fight?" His tone was clipped and the question felt loaded.

"I learned basic combat as I grew up." You were getting frustrated too, what the hell was he questioning you for? "It was common practice to teach children how to fight since no life was safe from the Empire or the Sith." You spat out the last word with venom.

You watched with a little pride as anger took over his body language. His hands balling into fists as he took a step closer.

"Who taught you to fight?"

"Why am I here?" You completely ignored his question asking one of your own. Your anger was beginning to get the best of you.

"Answer my question!" he barked.

"No! Why am I here? Why didn't you kill me?" Any hesitation you had towards not angering the man had evaporated. You were tired of guessing why you had been spared.

Suddenly you couldn't breathe, the pressure in your head multiplying as a phantom hand closed around your neck. Your lungs began to burn as you felt your face heat. His hand was stretched out in front of you and touched only air but restricted your oxygen with effortless precision. Just enough to stay lucid and listen.

"You breathe because I allow it," he growled. The vocoder in his helmet amplified the intensity of his words.

"I only have interest in things that are useful to me. You breathe because I am interested in using you." The pressure around your neck lessened just enough to keep your vision from fading out.

"So fix your attitude before you become more effort than you are worth." He hissed, releasing his grip and allowing your limp body to fall from the bed to the floor.

Your lungs struggled against your healing ribs and stitches for air as you lay in a heap at his feet. The edges of your vision were beginning to close in yet you watched as he crouched down to you. Before you could react he had grabbed a fist full of your hair and wrenched your head back to look directly at his covered face. You watched your reflection in his helmet, teary eyed and scared as he spoke.

"Tomorrow I expect answers, or I will get them myself," the threat came out in a low growl. His grip on your hair tightened as he held you there for a moment, your neck angled painfully. You could feel his eyes on you, finding genuine enjoyment in your fear as you sat motionless and helpless.

He used his grip in your hair to twist and throw your body back to the floor before turning and exiting the room. You watched his cape billow at his heels as he stormed off. The door closed and you sat in shock as the tears that had been threatening to fall ran down your cheeks and on to the floor.

You don't know how long you laid there watching small pools of tears gather on the cold metal floor. When your joints began to ache you gathered yourself enough to crawl back up onto the bed and laid there in silence. You had no idea what was going to become of you. Why this monstrosity of a man had taken an interest in you or why your existence seemed to anger him so much.

You closed your eyes, urging yourself to sleep as the small droid began tending to your now reopened wounds. Tomorrow would be hard. Best rest now.

Chapter Text

The next morning you were woken up by a Stormtrooper delivering another meal on a tray. It looked reasonably appetizing and tasted better than you expected. Your mind kept wandering to the heated interaction you had with Kylo, you had so many questions and it seemed like he wasn't interested in answering them. At this point your survival was dependent on being complacent, which was not your strong suit. You hadn't even decided if it would be better to submit or just let yourself be disposed of, it depended on what was being demanded.

There was a reason you joined the Resistance, you had grown a deep seeded hatred for the Empire, the Sith, and then the First Order. The atrocities they had collectively committed were unforgivable and the idea of being "useful" to them in anyway made your stomach churn, but the slim hope of survival and escape still lingered. The chance to report any information you could gather from your imprisonment could be pivotal to the fight against the First Order, and that would be worth it. As you thought through your situation you decided that it would be a thin line between assisting the enemy and reconnaissance but you had to try.

It wasn't long before the door to the Medbay opened to the silhouette of another Stormtrooper. His instruction was simple enough, "Come with me." So you followed. At first you attempted to remember the layout but the maze like halls seemed to grow longer and longer as you were led deeper into the massive ship. One elevator trip and sixteen turns later you were unceremoniously pushed through a door that quickly closed behind you. The room looked like it was used for meetings, with a long table and chairs facing a projector, and sitting at the end of the table was the boogeyman himself, Kylo Ren.

Even just sitting in a chair with his arms resting on the table he oozed the aura of an ruthless villain. He gestured to the chair beside him, silently demanding that you sit. You only hesitated for a moment before following his instruction.

"Feeling compliant today, are we?" You could hear the smirk that was hidden behind his helmet. Choosing not to reply you fiddled with your hands in your lap.

"We are going to try things a little differently today," he paused for a moment before asking his first question. "What is your name?"

You looked up in surprise then responded uncertainly, deciding there was no reason not to go along with whatever he was trying to do. He hummed then repeated your name back to you in an almost thoughtful tone.

"How long have you been working for the Resistance?" His body language was so calm it was hard to believe the man in front of you was the same one that had threatened you the night before.
"I'm not sure exactly how many years but since I was a young teenager."

He gave a slight nod. "And how did you come into their ranks?"

Your jaw clenched at the thought but you responded anyway. "I was alone and struggling to survive. I met one of their members at the trading post of the planet I was stuck on and they offered for me to join. I gladly accepted." You couldn't see how any of this mattered but it was obviously what he wanted to hear since he nodded again.

"What do you know of the force?"

Your expression soured at the question. "I know what everyone knows but I have zero interest in it. I want nothing to do with it or anyone who uses it. In fact I despise it." You looked away from the masked man. "And meeting you has only proven to me how horrible it is. Nothing good comes from that power, only death" you hissed.

"Such strong feelings, but you can't be that upset just because I killed a few rebel vermin." His voice was smooth and cocky as he offended everyone you cared for.

Your eyes teared up as you began to seethe, "how fucking dare you-"

"I see I've hit a nerve."

You felt your blood begin to boil. "You killed dozens of people. My friends. My coworkers. The people who SAVED ME. You are a fucking monster, and the Force enables you to devastate and destroy lives with just your mind." You were just about screaming at this point.

"The Force has been the reason for billions and billions of deaths just in the name of control. The galaxy is caught up in your religious power struggle and has been for longer than anyone knows!"

He sat there, his posture conveying his amusement as your emotions came flooding to the surface.

"Hmm… No, I think it's more than that. Why are you really angry?"

You stood up so suddenly that your chair was knocked backwards. Old emotional wounds were being opened and he could tell. You were shaking with anger as you responded.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Your jaw was beginning to hurt from clenching it so hard.

Suddenly, an enormous pressure descended onto your shoulders, pushing you forward and down until your knees hit the hard metal with a crack. Panic flooded your body and your eyes grew wide with fear. Kylo leaned forward in his chair, looking down at you.

"I warned you yesterday, if you don't give me answers, I will get them myself." He flicked his wrist and your head was forced to look up at him.

"Your anger is deep, I can feel it festering. What is it from?"

"NO!" You screamed. "FUCK OFF!"

Kylo sighed condescendingly, the helmet emphasizing his lack of empathy.

"Fine."

Your mind felt as though it was being ripped into pieces and rifled through. The pain was overwhelming and all consuming as you choked back screams. Your nails dug into your palms painfully. You tried everything that you could to focus on that small pain that you had control over but your mind offered up the darkest parts of your life on his whim.

"I was trying to be kind." His eyes moved as though he was watching invisible things hover around him.

You watched in horror as old memories were dragged out from the crevasses of your mind.

"But you just couldn't cooperate could you? I even left you unrestrained in a show of good faith."

Memories of your childhood began playing like a film, flashes and sounds regurgitated against your will. You watched as your childhood home appeared, your mother smiling at you and leading you inside. Then a terrifying roaring sound shook the ground as imperial ships landed in the streets. Stormtroopers flooded the area, yelling at the townsfolk, demanding to know where the Force users were. Blasters fired, killing people with no remorse, only interested in what they came there for.

"Oh, what is this?"

Frozen in place on the floor, you watched as your mother instructed young you to run and hide, and though terrified you did just that. Years of playing hide and seek had given you the perfect hiding spot. You ran as fast as your legs could take you to the nearby pond before diving in. You hid among the shadows of the small dock, obscured by baskets and crates. And watched in horror as your village began to burn.

"Hmm, smart girl." He complimented.

As the buildings caught on fire townsfolk were dragged into the streets and executed in front of your younger self. You watched as they demanded information on local Force users from your mother and father who both swore that there was no such person. They were quickly shot and left to bleed out in the street outside of your childhood home.

"I can see the village burning as your parents die…"

Your knees were throbbing and your head felt as though it was being painfully violated. Your chest heaved, desperate for oxygen as if it would numb you. The searing pain made you scream in agony as your memories continued coming forth.

The village was filled with smoke and death when the Stormtroopers finally began boarding their ships, content with their massacre. After the ships left the atmosphere you clambered onto the dock and sprinted to the limp bodies of your parents. You desperately searched for any signs of life but found none. You keened in anguish, checking every body only to find that everyone had been killed. You went back and laid with the bodies of your parents and cried yourself asleep.

"I see your pain… You were so young." His observations almost came across as caring but you were too lost in the memories to notice.

The next day you woke up and began digging, your anger and desperation fueling you. Over the next week you dug a large mass grave to the best of your abilities, to bury everyone you had ever known. The whole time your mind was festering with hatred. For the Empire and for the Force itself. They were the reason everyone was dead. You kept replaying the screams of your loved ones denying the existence of a Force user and begging for their lives. Just as a young teen you became haunted with the knowledge that they all died for nothing, there were no Force sensitive people in your village.

Your memories began to fade out as you remembered looking down at your small hands, blistered and bloody from burying everyone you knew. A part of yourself was buried with them that day and you were never the same.

"Interesting," he hummed.

Kylo sat there, his helmet obscuring any kind of humanity he may have had as he withdrew from your mind. The unbearable physical pain lessened as emotional pain took its place. You wailed and sobbed on the ground at his feet as the Force released it's hold on you. Your eyes burned with tears as your insides burned with anger and despair. This monster defiled the darkest parts of yourself for his viewing pleasure. He left them feeling tainted.

"I can see that you aren't able to continue our conversation," his voice crackled through his helmet. He stood up from his seat and took a step towards the door when you yelled.

"NO! You need to answer ME now! Why am I here?! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!?" You began pulling yourself up to stand on unsteady legs. You glared up at him, anger burning through you.

Kylo stopped in his tracks and turned to face you.

"Your hatred feeds a darkness in you that I am going to cultivate and control."

Your anger grew at his abstract response. "What the fuck are you talking about?!"

He took a step closer to you and spoke your name in a low tone."You are Force sensitive. The dark side lives within you, powered by your rage. And I am going to mold you into a devastating weapon."

You were stunned. How could he be so wrong? "You just saw my memories! There weren't any Force sensitive people in my village! The Empire was wrong! You are wrong!" You screamed in frustration. What the hell was he talking about, did he not witness the same thing as you?

"I am NOT Force Sensitive! I never have been! I hate the Force and I hate YOU!" You held on to the table for support as you shook with rage.

"You are wrong," he said simply, unaffected by your fury. "Training will begin tomorrow after the medical droid clears you for combat." With that he reached out and touched your temple as he had before, knocking you out instantly. He bent slightly to scoop you up in his large arms as you fell, lifting you effortlessly. He left the room and began the walk to medbay carrying your unconscious body. His mind raced as he walked, you really didn't know of your powers. He saw it as just a small inconvenience as he began planning how to train his unwilling new apprentice.

Chapter Text

You woke up to the blinding lights of medbay and the now familiar beeping of the small medical droid. It hovered around you, completing scans and disconnecting IVs from your arm. You got up and got dressed in the clothes that were folded next to the bed. Lightweight black tank top and black leggings. It was impressive quality, the fabric felt remarkably easy to move in. You expected the opposite, but the First Order didn't skimp on training clothes, even for prisoners. The door opened and a Stormtrooper entered, checking the screen next to the bed.

"You're all ready to go, come with me." He led you out of the room, beginning yet another long trek through the never ending ship. Actually…

"Excuse me, what ship are we on? No one ever told me." You kept your voice innocent and light.

The Stormtrooper paused for a moment before looking down at you and responding.

"The Finalizer."

Your stomach twisted in knots. The Finalizer was huge, larger than any ship you had ever been on. It meant you were more likely to get lost if you tried to escape, if you could even figure out how. The Stormtrooper came to a stop in front of you and you almost ran into him, completely lost in your thoughts.

The door opened to a room you hadn't seen before. You took a steadying breath and stepped in. It was vast, with black padded walls and padded floors in the center. The door closed behind you as you scanned the combat training room. Running your hands over your ribs and abdomen you felt only slight discomfort, the little medical droid had done a great job healing you, much faster than you ever had been healed before.

You looked up and around the room and saw a large man in the corner at a table. He stood there, breathing hard and drinking water while wiping off sweat. His long black hair hid his face but did nothing to cover his shirtless back. Even from across the room you could make out large scars across it, obviously earned in battle. This must be the man that Kylo wanted to train you. For some reason he thought that you would make a good fighter, or else you wouldn't be here. Who knows, trying to understand the reasoning of a madman was hopeless, right now you needed to focus on training. Becoming a better fighter could be what helps you escape, so you were going to do your best.

Your head snapped up as the man called out your name. "Here." He pointed to a spot on the mat.

You walked over and stood there as he paid you no attention. His face took you by surprise, it had an almost boyish quality, his plush lips turned into a frown as he read the datapad in his hand. His thick brows were furrowed over deep set brown eyes. In contrast to his softer qualities, his nose and jaw were angular and intense. You watched as his Adam's apple bobbed as he finished a swig of water and set the datapad down.

"You had formal combat training, right?" The man walked over to you on the mat.

"I had some training on the basics, and kept up with it over the years." There was no reason to lie to this man, besides its not like your formal training was top secret.

"Ok, warm up and we can see what you've got." His voice was smooth and surprisingly grounding, but after the past few days anything mildly calming would be soothing like a balm on a burn. Beginning to stretch, you rolled your shoulders and hands, lengthened your spine, and really took a moment to feel out what hurt and what didn't. It felt good to not be strapped down on some bed. Once your muscles felt warm you looked up at the man and asked what to do next.

"Let's do a simple spar."

You looked up at him incredulously, "You are huge and I just got out of the Medbay, don't you have someone more my size that I could spar with?"

"No." He responded plainly. "And you don't get to pick the weight class of who is trying to kill you in a fight." He brushed the hair out of his face with a large callused hand.

"Fine," you huffed. Of course this wouldn't be fair, you could tell that nothing on this damn ship would be.

You took a deep breath and widened your stance preparing to begin. Without any warning a huge fist came flying at your head, you dodged just in time to see his other fist begin swinging up at you from below. You quickly brought your arm up to cover your face and curled in, blocking the blow with your elbow. Yet another blow came to your side, you were able to side step just out of range and lower your block. You made eye contact with him and saw a flash of interest in his expression. He was watching your every move like a hawk, learning your reactions.

He was toying with you. He made a well placed kick that you blocked but got you off balance. Then a punch to your side. Hissing in pain you quickly regain your balance. You were sure someone had told him what your injuries were and he did it anyway. That pissed you off. You glared at him and he smirked.

You weren't a toy to play with, and your frustration was beginning to fuel your movements. Stepping closer, you threw your first punch, he blocked it, and the next three that you threw at him. After setting up that pattern for him to follow you broke it. You faked a gut punch and as he bent to block it you sent a solid punch right to his jaw. The shock on his face as your knuckles came in contact with his skin was priceless and as much as you wanted to take a moment to enjoy it, you kept going.

You threw more punches, most of which he blocked, but you were able to throw him off balance. Thankfully, you were small enough to twist away from some of his jabs and you leaned heavily on that as the sparring continued. You landed some hits and he landed some hits. You were sweating and hot but your frustration pushed you on. He went to kick you and to his disbelief you caught his ankle as it struck the meat of your thigh. You quickly raised his leg and bent it forcing him to struggle to keep balance on one foot. His face twisted from shock to anger. Without wasting a moment you pulled him, so his balance would fall forward and as he began to fall you threw your weight forward, bending his knee as far as it would go. You used your arm to lock it in place, his heel to his ass, then pushed him to the ground. You straddled his right thigh as you held his left leg folded and pinned in place then drove your free arm's elbow down into his stomach with no remorse.

A pained grunt blessed your ears as he fought to open his leg. Your weight had shifted when you dove at his stomach and he was able to break your grip. His foot made contact with your chest and he unceremoniously shoved you off. You gasped for air as your ribs ached. That one fucking hurt. Before you could recover he had you pinned on your back as you panted, holding your side.

His hair hung in his face, sticking to the sweat on his skin, and his cheeks had a slight pink to them from effort. You were completely pinned, not for lack of trying to throw him off. He straddled you easily, his size dwarfing yours. You attempted to use your legs and hips to shift him off, only succeeding to have his weight rest more in his hands on your shoulder and chest. You winced at the pressure and struggled to inhale fully. The air around you both felt hot and his body heat made it that much hotter. The temperature. In the room.

"Do I have to verbally secede or something?" You grunted, breaking the silence.

"I want to hear you say it." His voice came out only slightly labored as you rolled your eyes.

His eyebrows lowered, completely unamused. "Besides, admitting it out loud may help with your attitude problem." You could feel him lean just a little harder into his hands causing you to gasp in discomfort.

"FINE. Fine." He let up slightly. "I submit."

He didn't move, staring down at you.

"What? I said it, now get off," you groaned in frustration.

"Say it again."

"What?"

"Say it again," he repeated. "You ought to get used to saying it, so, say it again"

Yup, every single person on this ship is an asshole.

You glared up at him, "I submit, you win." It came out through your clenched jaw sounding almost like a hiss.

The corners of his mouth twitched up in a barely hidden smile. He drew it out for another second of eye contact before he finally let up and climbed off.

You took a deep breath, relieved to have him off of you and out of your personal space.

You watched as he turned his back and walked over to the table where his water sat. His stride was long and confident, each step feeling purposeful. You sat there on the mat catching your breath and observing him. The way his soft lips pressed against the mouth of the water bottle, and he swallowed the liquid greedily made your breath catch. In the past you don't remember being so enamored by a stranger but you were captivated. It must be your mind trying to work through all that has happened to you in the past few days. You couldn't look away, studying his hands, how easily the one held the bottle, the size of his hand making it look small in comparison. The smooth veins branching over the—

He was looking at you. Directly at you. The eye contact was piercing and almost overwhelming. You felt as though he had cast a spotlight on you, bringing your shameless staring to attention.

He didn't speak as he lowered the bottle from his lips, eyes on you the entire time. One eyebrow raised as he looked down at you with a small upturn to the corner of his lips, it was as if he was daring you to come up with a good excuse.

He hummed for a moment as if thinking before turning to face you.

"Need some?" His tone was condescendingly smooth, as if talking to a child.

If your cheeks weren't already red from fighting, they certainly were now. Quickly, you pulled yourself together, putting on a hopefully believable glare of annoyance.

"Yes, of course I'm thirsty, I just put your ass on the ground." You huffed.

As he responded you could hear the hint of a chuckle in his voice. "Yes you did. I'm impressed." He nodded.

A small rush of pride surged through your veins, though you tried not to let yourself enjoy it.

"Water is over in the locker rooms, that way." He lazily motioned with the hand still holding the water bottle, before bringing it back to his lips for more.

As soon as you caught yourself watching him again you quickly tore your eyes away to look where he had pointed, hoping that he hadn't noticed.

Beside the corner of the room was a short hallway that led to a pair of doors, each to their own locker rooms. You wandered inside to find lockers, showers, and changing areas. Near the towels was a small collection of water bottles. At least they keep their employees hydrated. Picking one up, you drank the water enjoying how crisp it was. Confirming that you were alone in the locker room you decided that it was worth poking around really quick, and did just that. Reading the posters on the walls, the instructions for loaning out equipment and a schedule for different mandatory training. All good things to keep in mind but nothing too important.

It was obvious that you had taken too long when you got back to the main room. The trainer looked impatient and called you over by name again. His voice echoed through the room in a way that sent chills down your spine. He glared down at you the whole walk over.

"Don't waste time." He widened his stance slightly. "Now, again," he commanded.

You matched his position and got focused as the fight began.

"What have you got a hot date to get to?" You instigated.

"I don't only train you," he deadpanned.

Of course he trains other people.

"Sounds boring," you counter.

His eyebrows raised as you both continued sparring. "If this is to easy you are more than welcome to join." He landed a solid hit to your side that left you gasping.

Hissing in pain, you glared up at him. He kept successfully blocking every punch and kick you tried, your frustration growing with each one.

"Sounds great," you grunted, struggling to keep up.

Before you could react he kicked one of your legs out from under you, forcing you on to the floor. He easily pinned you the same way he had before.

"Are you going to tap out or do I have to make you again?" He asked.

"…fine, I submit. Let me up."

He climbed off of you and you could breath again. Now standing, he leaned down and offered you his hand to help you get up. In a small act of rebellion you stood up without his assistance, ignoring the gesture entirely.

You could feel his eyes on you as you got to your feet, annoyance so obvious that you could hear it in his voice.

"Fine. Again."

And again you went, sparring over and over until you felt a layer of new bruises along your body.

Three water breaks later and you were utterly exhausted, your muscles ached and it was hard to stand without wobbling. You and the trainer had a solid banter going, and while yes, he was a bit of a dick, he seemed to be the most genuine person you had met so far on this ship. It wasn't always torture to talk with him, and sometimes his gestures felt almost kind. He seemed to actually care that you improved and would praise you when you did well.

"So you said you train with others, do you train with Kylo Ren too?"

You were sitting on the mat while he was looking back at his datapad reading something, he paused at your interruption, thinking for a moment before looking down at you to answer.

"Yes."

"I bet he is a pain in the ass," you quipped.

He had the smallest hint of a smile when he responded though his voice remained level, "It is easier to train him than you."

"Yeah sure," you rolled your eyes.

"Get up and go shower, I have other people to train now. There should be clothes for you in there." Just like that he was stoic again but he reached out to help you up, and just like before you went through the effort of getting your tired body up by yourself. He watched you struggle out of the corner of his eye then went back to reading his datapad.

You made your way to the locker room and found the folded set of clothes on a bench just as he had said. You showered in the hot water and took your time, washing away not only the sweat from working out but also the grimey feeling from being in medbay for days. You took a moment to appreciate the minimal scars forming where your lacerations were, the medical equipment here was truly amazing.

You stepped out of the shower wrapped in one of the provided black towels then got changed into the set of dark clothes that were provided. It was definitely not the same style of clothes as anyone else you had seen on the ship. You looked at yourself in the mirror. The pants were well designed, large and flowy until it tapered halfway down the calf with pockets in a smooth black fabric. The top as comfortable under the tight fitting charcoal grey jacket that opened in the front and zipped halfway up the neck. You looked like you belonged on that hellish ship, like you belonged with the First Order. The clothes were by far the nicest you ever wore and suited you well, and that realization made your skin crawl with disgust. At least you didn't look like a soldier.

You made your way out of the locker rooms, the sound of people fighting growing steadily louder. A small part of you hoped that it was your trainer sparring with Kylo Ren, it would be good to see him tired and frustrated. It would make him more human, give you proof that the monster could get tired and had weakness like anyone else. As you turned the corner you watched two men you didn't recognize fighting with each other, with a few others watching. Out of the observers you recognized the scared back of your trainer. You turned to leave when you realized past the door you entered through, you had no idea where you were in the ship or where to go.

You sighed and turned back, beginning the walk towards the center mat of the large room. Your existence didn't go unnoticed and for every set of eyes that found you the walk seemed to get longer. By the time you got to the group of men only the two sparring and the trainer weren't watching you.

The four men beside your trainer were huge and burly compared to his slimmer muscle. They were also all staring at you openly, unlike your trainer who didn't spare a glance.

You felt like you were under a microscope and quite uncomfortable as you began to speak.

"Excuse me." Your manners surprised not only you but your trainer as well, though the only acknowledgment he gave you was his eyebrows raising in subtle surprise as he continued watching the men fight. You decided to attribute your politeness to being watched by strangers.

"No one told me what to do next." The man's eyebrows raised even further.

"You want me to tell you what to do?" He sounded cocky and you sighed in response.

"I don't know where anything is on this maze of a ship or where I can go without being shot for being where I shouldn't be." You pointed out. "Listening to you is slightly better than being shot."

You could hear poorly concealed snickers from the men beside you.

He tapped a few different things on his datapad before turning to you with disdain.

"Someone will be here shortly to babysit you, until then you will sit and observe in silence."

You glared up at him with hatred, about to argue and he stared back, silently challenging you. You saw the unspoken threat of knocking you back onto the floor and pinning you again, so you decided not to push it. You took a deep breath and sat with a indignant huff, watching the two fight on the mat. More muffled laughter.

The men sparring finished with a devastating loss, one in an arm bar on the ground under the other. You were impressed, they had obviously trained for years to be killing machines. You also noticed that they all seemed to be friends.

Before you could get further lost in your thoughts you heard your name, looking up you saw a stormtrooper standing with the trainer. "He will take you to your room, and bring you dinner. More training tomorrow."

You stood to follow the Stormtrooper and without thought you said thank you to your trainer. It was an old habit from childhood to thank the people you sparred and learned from before going home. It must have come back to the surface. Your trainer nodded, wordlessly accepting your thanks, and unbeknownst to you his eyes followed you out the door.

Chapter Text

The Stormtrooper led you through the long halls, past all sorts of personnel who watched as you walked by. Curious eyes wondering who you were and why you were there. You kept your head down avoiding the stares until your guide stopped outside a door. It was a long hallway with many doors and small placards at each, labeling them with letters and numbers. The door in front of you was labeled with 'PR-076' you wracked your brain for what it could mean and came up with nothing. The inner workings of the First Order were still so foreign to you.

Ever-curious you decided to ask, "what does that mean?" You pointed at the shiny black plaque.

"Private Residence 76," the Stormtrooper explained.

Your jaw dropped. Private residence?? They were putting you, a prisoner of war, in a private room? You were stunned.

Your escort showed you how to open the door and let you set the code on the pad. Looking into the room you were stunned, but before you got the chance to explore, the Stormtrooper let you know that he would be returning shortly with food.

As soon as the door closed you exhaled a deep sigh of relief, truly alone and free to explore the new space.

You were impressed by the sheer size of the suite. The connected bathroom had a toilet and a sink as expected and a shower nicer than the one you had just used. The bed was larger than the bed in medbay and had soft black and grey bedding. Aside from a small nightstand the room also had a dresser, a mirror, and small circular table with two chairs. There was even a closet next to the dresser, which to your surprise already had clothes. All variations of the outfits you had worn so far which you decided were sleepwear, athletic clothes, and what you were expected to wear otherwise; similar to what you were wearing currently.

You finished exploring just as your dinner was delivered, deciding ate it at the small table. The food was good, but being alone was even better. Unlike the locker rooms before, this alone felt much more comforting. Maybe because this space was yours.

That thought brought back questions about why the space was yours. You were certain that the First Order doesn't do this for prisoners, and the only thing that made you different was Kylo Ren's odd interest in you. His insistence that you were Force sensitive, when you knew better than anyone that you never felt any connection to the Force, for which you were thankful for. His odd decision to train you and weird questions about how you were trained previously. You let yourself settle on those thoughts and mull them over. It was important that you figured it all out so as to stay 'useful' and gather info then somehow escape.

There must be some sort of map somewhere, if you bothered the guards and your trainer as you did today, someone was sure to get fed up and just give you a map of the place. It wasn't the best plan, but it was a good place to start.

It wasn't long before your body's need to rest out-weighed your mind's turbulent thoughts.

The next day you woke up to your door being knocked on and food being delivered. You ate the food knowing you would need every bit of energy. After getting changed into your workout gear you made sure to leave your room before a Stormtrooper came to get you. Taking random turns down the near identical hallways and stopping to ask for directions three times until someone decided to walk you themselves.

You arrived inevitability late to a frustrated and impatient trainer. You shrugged off his scolding, it wasn't your fault that you didn't know the way.

You both sparred like you had the day before. Fighting, then a water break, then fighting, then more fighting; over and over until lunch came. Then after lunch you sparred some more. All the while your trainer gave you a hard time when you slipped up, as expected. But there were these little moments of praise when you did well that kept you invested.

It was like a drug, every compliment swirled and made you want more. You told yourself it was because any act of kindness would have a huge effect on you, praise wasn't common for a First Order prisoner.

But a part of you knew it was more than that, you enjoyed acting out and getting this man riled up, instigating his frustration until he pinned you on the mat. Then the praise when you followed instructions and succeeded was simple and minimal, but you would swear more addictive than death sticks. 'You did well,' 'Your blocks are improving,' 'You almost got me that time.' It pushed you to go harder, until it was hard to breath, until his body heat was too much as he loomed over you.

—Trainer—

At a certain point he realized that you were trying to play a game with him, that you were purposefully playing cat and mouse. He analyzed your every inhale, every twitch, every glance. He saw the way your eyes lit up when he praised you, and how they grew hungry for more. Interesting. He leaned into his part, almost letting you slip away before pouncing and forcing you to admit defeat. Sometimes you would offer it freely, other times he had to force you to give up. Only when you grew sloppy in your movements did he let up, there is no point in practicing incorrectly. It had been a long full day of training, he had cleared his schedule to ensure he had time to work with his newest pupil.

Even as you laid on the mat, red-faced and panting, you refused his help getting up. So willful was his new project. He picked up his datapad to check the time and dismiss the handful of angry messages about his last minute rescheduling.

He heard your tired footsteps as you walked up to him with wobbly legs.

"What is your name? I can't remember."

He turned, looking down at you as you stared up at him. It struck him how often you were under him, but he dismissed the thought.

"That is because I never told you," he kept his voice deep and low, almost purring as he spoke, sounding just the right amount of condescending.

"Well? What is your name?" He could tell that you were getting frustrated and he smiled inwardly.

"Hmm, you don't deserve to know yet," you handed him such perfect leverage.

"What?? I don't deserve to know?" You were exasperated, arms across your chest and glaring up at him. He liked it.

"I'll tell you when you pin me," he decided.

You frowned and waved your hands around in defeat, ranting about fairness. How endearing.

There was no need to respond to your little tantrum, you had already stormed off to the showers. He chuckled to himself, it was fun to watch you react, see your anger and your pride.

He looked back at the datapad and began declining and rescheduling more meetings over the next few days, keeping only necessities. It was important that you had time with your trainer.

—Reader—

The next week was much of the same, each day getting lost or wandering off at least twice, sparring for at least a few hours of the day depending on your trainer's schedule. Your body was adjusting to it's new demanding daily routine and you could see your efforts beginning to pay off. You were getting faster and your blocking had improved greatly. The fifth day of combat training started in the afternoon and you felt confident.

The door closed behind you and as you walked up to him you noticed how distracted he was. No quip or mild insult as you arrived. It took a moment for him to acknowledge your existence and at that point you were already stretching and warming up. He grunted in approval and began doing the same.

Both of you were a few rounds in and could tell that something was off. He wasn't as responsive to your movements, his usually intense calculating stare was gone. Despite that, he kept pinning you. The only thing more frustrating than losing to him was losing to him when he wasn't paying full attention. With each spar your anger and frustration grew. The usual banter was nonexistent and you felt your improvements weren't being appreciated. You unintentionally began attacking more than blocking and dodging, his apparent disinterest fueling each jab and kick.

At this point you were pissed, you kept pushing and pushing for a reaction and got none. Everything was a blur as you kicked his side, hard. He grunted but before he could retaliate you had gotten two good jabs at his face. He ducked to avoid another head shot, then you kicked again throwing off his balance. Once he got low enough trying to regain his footing, you jumped him, swiftly tackling him to the ground. He hit the mat with an echoing thud and you repositioned faster than you ever had before. Your arm wrapped around his neck, held tight by your other arm than had snaked under his shoulder and twisted his arm behind his back. He tried to roll and throw you off but couldn't get the leverage with your knee digging into his spine. He tried again too throw you off and you tightened your grip on his neck and twisted arm. He gagged and hissed in pain before saying exactly what you wanted to hear. His voice came out in a strangled gurgle but there was no question as to what he said.

"I submit."

You released your hold and climbed up as he sputtered and coughed on the floor. Slowly he stood, groaning and rubbing his shoulder. He took a deep steadying breath before making true eye contact for the first time that day.

"You finally got me, good job." His voice held the sincerity that you craved.

You beamed and responded, "Fuck yeah I did."

His chuckle came out raspy as he made his way over to his water. "You haven't fought that offensively before, what changed?"

You were about to admit that you were angry at him for not paying enough attention to you, but caught yourself before you spoke.

"I got tired of calling you a 'son of a Bantha' in my head, so I was determined to learn your name." Not a complete lie, you really did want to know his name, and you referred to him as a son of a Bantha pretty regularly. But a cocky answer is better than one that showed weakness.

He stopped drinking his water for a moment and looked at you as if he could tell you weren't being completely truthful. You felt oddly exposed for a moment before he looked away.

"I see." The raspyness in his voice was beginning to fade.

"So?" You prompted. "You owe me your name."

He hummed in acknowledgment before taking another long gulp of water. You watched his fingers drum on the bottle, leaving you impatiently waiting.

"Matt," he said simply.

"Matt?"

"That is what I said." He deadpanned.

"Kinda boring," you shrugged.

"Oh?" He cocked an eyebrow, whatever was on his mind before was long forgotten. "That isn't very polite." He finished the sentence with your name, as though he was correcting a child.

In that moment you realized two things, you realized just how much you liked the banter you shared, and just how good your name sounded when he wasn't ordering you about.

Thrown off by your realizations, it took a second before you got back on track. Despite your best efforts you felt the slightest tinge of heat rise to your cheeks.

"I never said I was polite," you shot back.

"True," he hummed.

There was a beat of silence as you both drank your water.

"So, do you just tell Kylo Ren about my progress? He hasn't hunt me down like some specter so I figure someone is keeping him up to date."

"Oh? Why do you ask?" He looked at you with mild interest.

"I want to know if you have to tell him that I kicked your ass." You grinned up at the man.

He chuckled, "I see. Well, be assured that he knows of your progress."

"Good, that means I don't have to see him in person." You nodded to yourself.

Matt looked over out of the corner of his eyes scrutinizing you. "Careful now, I don't think he would appreciate hearing that."

"What, are you gonna tattle on me, Matt?" You ask. "Is this because I finally won?"

"Now you're pushing it," he warns half-heartedly. He was facing away but you would bet he was smirking. "Let's see if you can do it again."

Leaving the water on the table you and he got back into position. The now familiar dance began again, though this time you put more effort in to leading. Pushing offensively and using your bottled up frustration as fuel. You could tell that he was giving more of his attention towards the fight, a small rush of pride came over you at the thought. You were now a worthy opponent, one to watch out for.

You weren't able to reach the same sort of intensity but you were still landing more hits than you had before. However, it wasn't enough to secure your victory, a few minuets later he had you on the ground again. He dwarfed you, easily holding you down with his weight. Glaring up at him, he held your arms down and waited for you to secede, but you decided you weren't done yet.

You began squirming, testing the strength of his hold on different areas. He looked down at you, amused by your attempts to get out from under him. You didn't let that deter you. You had won once, and you could do it again, just had to keep trying. You began trying to get out by pushing him off with your, knee. It was obvious what you were doing, there was no hiding that you were trying to get leverage, and let he let you try. He watched you with with interest as you struggled until you had your leg in place, it was just far enough under his chest that you could start to push up using your thigh muscles.

Just as you felt like you were getting somewhere he yanked your arms up closer together, catching both wrists in one of his huge hands. He moved with precision as he, to your surprise, let your leg free. Before you could figure out what to do with it his free hand landed on the back of your thigh. Sliding his hand up the underside of your thigh until the space between his thumb and fingers was firmly at the fold of your knee. Using his body weight he shifted to press your leg back past where you could throw him off.

He made it seem so easy. You glared up at him as the stretch began to get uncomfortable. You hissed at the burn and he smiled down at you mere inches from your face.

—Matt—

He was patient with you. He wasn't sure why but he enjoyed watching you try to out do him. Normally it would irritate him to no end but he liked how you struggled as you started to run out of ideas. Getting more desperate and creative.

Your lips set into a fine line, refusing to give in yet. He rested more weight on to you, just watching as you tried to get out from under him. He took in the details like he was trying to memorize the scene, maybe he was.

Your hair was messy, sticking to your face and splayed out on the mat. Your face was screwed up in concentration, occasionally biting your lip as you gave it your best. Your shirt had ridden up because of how high he was holding your arms. A sliver of your midriff was visible and slowly riding up further as you wriggled. He smiled. You were so focused that you hadn't noticed, or so stubborn that you didn't care. Either way, it impressed him how much hope for escape you still had.

You began making progress, gaining a little leverage by angling your hips and trying to roll to the side. He easily adjusted, his grip tightening on your thigh, using the opportunity to enjoy how soft your flesh felt under his fingers. Oh how he wished he could see whatever bruises would be left there from his grip.

He was brought back from his thoughts when he noticed your breathing change. Refocusing on your face he found you staring up at him. Your eyes seemed bigger, rounder than they were before. No longer the eyes of a spitfire fighting to prove a point, now your expression was softer, more… Vulnerable.

His curiosity peeked and he hunched lower, "Tired yet?"

He quickly figured out exactly what caused your sudden change in attitude. He had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to realize that he had gotten hard watching you struggle. It lay hotly against your other thigh, twitching occasionally, and rubbing against it as he shifted. He smiled at your reaction, you were clearly taken off guard but not necessarily upset, more so— uncertain. And, to his excitement, a little needy. As if to confirm his observations you squirmed nervously, no longer fighting his hold over you.

Oh how useful…

Chapter Text

Your brain was in overdrive trying to sort through all your feelings. You couldn't help but stare up at him, his long hair hanging down as he held you in place with ease. You had felt him get hard against your inner thigh as he held the other leg up, steadily inching closer to your center as it came to attention. 

Your body betrayed you, feeding into what you had assumed were fleeting thoughts. Feeling heat spread through you as his face got closer, you felt his cock pulsating and brushing against you as he leaned down. His brown eyes were hypnotic as you watched them swirl with greed and pride having won much more than just a sparring match. 

You both knew. Your reactions were undeniable. 

He liked you helpless under him, and you liked him keeping you that way. 

"Hmm, what do we have here?" He hummed thoughtfully. 

Not wanting to add fuel to the fire you keep your mouth shut tight. 

"Now you're nervous?" His smile was boyish and charming, with a worrying hint of power hungry. 

"It's a shame, you were fighting so hard," he cooed, leisurely rolling his hips. You bit your lip, fighting back any response or sound that wanted to escape. 

"Oh, don't go quiet now, I love hearing your little sounds when we fight." When you didn't respond he took it as an invitation, leaning down further, then grinding his covered erection against your thigh. You stifled a little moan, and watched as he smiled. You were taken by surprise when he swiftly pulled your raised calf over his shoulder, freeing his hand. He brought it to your face, the size of his hand so large compared to your little jaw that he smiled and caressed your skin before grabbing hold. His rough fingers pressed into the soft fat of your cheeks, forcing your mouth to open slightly. You could feel your face burn in embarrassment as he manhandled your jaw. 

He said your name in a deep disapproving tone. "I want to hear how much you are enjoying yourself." 

He shook his head in disapproval as you continued to stifle yourself as he rutted against you, getting closer and closer to where you ached for contact. 

"You should know by now that I can take you apart piece by piece. I've made you submit before and I will just do it again if your not going to admit how much you want this." He positioned you to look right up into his eyes before letting go. You watched them twinkle with amusement, distracting you from his hand now hovering over your clothed mound.

You gasped as his hand cupped your heat through your thin pants, a small whimper escaping as he pulled back to lazily ghost his fingers over it.

"There you are," he purred in praise. His hand just barely touching you. "You just needed some help," he smiled as another small gasp made its way past your lips, his fingers brushing over your clit teasingly. Even with multiple layers between you, you were quickly giving in to his temptations. 

"You are so stubborn, pretending you don't enjoy being held down when we spar." Without any hesitation he reaches up to pull your pants down, as though it was something common for him to do whenever he wanted. You gazed up at him in shock. Unable to pull them down far in your position he simply hoisted your other leg up onto his shoulder as well, then pulled the troublesome clothing off. Every move he made surprised you, his absolute confidence made a shiver go down your spine. 

"See?" He ran a finger over the obvious wetness slowly gathering at your entrance. "Your body is desperate for me, it doesn't care that you just lost, or that your pinned, or that anyone could walk through that door. You just need me to guide you through it." He was smiling to himself as he spread your juices up and down your folds. You were panting now, little sounds accompanying twitches as you worked through the embarrassment he caused you with his observations. 

He kept you like that, legs in the air and panting as he played with you; finger lazily swirling around your clit until he was coaxing out small gasps and moans.

"You just need some attention, isn't that right?" 

Answering his question didn't even cross your mind until the his hand pulled back and the sparks of pleasure faded. You whined in disappointment. 

"I think that's why you got angry earlier, I wasn't giving you enough of my attention." His hand hovered just above where you wanted it, teasing you. He looked down at you expectantly, waiting for to respond.

You nodded quickly, too needy to care what you were admitting in the process. He smirked knowingly. 

"I thought so." He began gently circling around your clit again, the deep hum of pleasure starting to build.

It wasn't long before you were trembling and teary eyed. Your cautiousness had dissapated, becoming long moans that reverberated around the room and made Matt's charming smile grow.

"I not usually this kind, but you did well today, and this seems to be very motivating for you." To prove his point he pulled his hand away again, leaving you so close to the edge. A few tears ran down your cheeks as you begin begging for him to continue.

"Please! Please don't stop." Your voice sounded broken and desperate. 

He chuckled and nodded before leaning back. You whined in disappointment and he tutted at your impatience. 

"Stay," his tone made your stomach flip and left no room for disagreement. You nodded quickly in response then watched as he let go of your wrists. You were too close to an orgasm to push your luck so you kept your arms up just like he wanted. 

He smiled at your obedience as he laid down on his stomach between your legs. His wide shoulders forced your legs apart, giving him full access to your dripping pussy. You watched as his eyes flashed with hunger as he brought his hand up to gently spread your folds, getting the perfect view of your twitching hole. His other hand carded through his thick hair, pushing it from his face.

"You are dripping wet for me," he murmured. A smile grew on his face as he looked up to make eye contact with you. 

"I can see how bad you need this, poor thing," he cooed condescendingly. He used his thumb to pull back the hood of your clit exposing it to his mercy before licking over it with the whole length of his tongue. You shuttered and moaned loudly, hips rolling, desperate for more. He chuckled, then gave you exactly what you needed.

He sucked your clit into his mouth, lavishing the bundle of nerves with his tongue. He didn't hold back, watching your expression the whole time you were writhing and moaning. Sharp bursts of pleasure shot through your nerves making you back arch. You hands moved on their own, reaching down and weaving themselves in his soft hair, the inky black color looked beautiful against your skin tone. He grunted disapprovingly but he didn't stop, he stared up at you through his long eyelashes as you got closer to the edge again.

You felt him sloppily lap at your entrance up to your clit, his nose and face covered in your essence as he repeated the action, over, over, and over, until you were beginning to see stars. The room was filled with wet sounds and moans as the spring winding in your core got closer and closer to snapping. It felt like hot magma through your veins. He moved back to your clit, rolling his tongue over it and nipping at the swollen bud. 

You were so close, you just needed a little more to get pushed over the edge, you whimpered and tugged on his hair. His eyes eyes closed in pleasure as you pulled on his hair and he let out a deep rumbling moan in response. As if reading your mind he reached up and slipped a finger into your clenching pussy. It accepted his thick digit greedily, fluttering around the intrusion as he began to pump it in and out of you, building your pleasure up even higher. He kept up his speed and inserted another, stretching you perfectly, then began curling them just the right way. 

You couldn't help yourself, you had lost control to your need for pleasure. You were babbling and begging for more, his name became half of your vocabulary, calling it out shamelessly. Then it snapped. The tight coil inside you released and you shook from the intensity. Your vision went white and you screamed as you came all over his face and hand. He still diligently pleasured you, sucking and licking your sensitive clit to carry you through the waves of your orgasm.

As you came down from the endorphin high, he swallowed every drop of your cum that he could, including licking his fingers. You were a mess, laying on the floor panting, the release exhausting you. All your pent up emotions and stress needed an outlet and apparently just physical fighting wasn't enough.

He sat comfortably with one leg propped up, looking at you with the hint of a smile. You sat up and reached out to run your hand up and down the length of his erection, it twitched to life and Matt groaned quietly.

"No, not today." He took your wrist and moved your arm away from the tent in his pants.

"What?" You were confused. "Why?"

"Well, you haven't earned it." He shrugged as though the twitching hard on was invisible. 

"I pinned you today!" You argue. 

"Yes, you did. And you learned my name and orgasmed because of it." 

Your expression gave away that you were questioning his sanity. You opened your mouth to speak, intending to convince him to fuck you like your body was craving, but he interrupted you first. 

"You also moved your arms when I told you not to." He shook his head in disappointment.

"I— I couldn't help it!" You countered, trying to ignore the shame that began to crawl up your spine. 

"Hmm, well, you'd better help it next time." He was speaking so calmly it was like he hadn't just eaten you out on the floor. Your mouth hung open in disbelief. 

"Next time?" You asked cautiously.

"Are you motivated to get a next time?"

"Yes." You answered to quickly and cringed inwardly at how desperate you sounded.

"Then be good and there will be a next time." He smiled so charmingly that made your heart flutter in your chest.

"Fine," you huffed before laying back again.

"You did well, good job today." He offered his praise and his hand to help you up. "You should go clean up, I've got more training soon. Wouldn't want them walking in on you like that— Unless…" He smirked as your eyes grew wide. Reaching out, you grabbed his hand, accepting the assistance. You didn't need any more convincing than that to go shower and clean up. 

After your shower you walked back into the gym and found Matt training the same group of men as before. You came up to stand beside them.

He held out a water bottle for you to take. "Drink. You worked hard today, don't get dehydrated." 

His sentences were short as he focused on watching the men practice but you could see a slight smile as he reminded you how much fluid you lost during training. You rolled your eyes but drank anyway, he wasn't wrong. You grabbed your water and headed back to your room.

This time you took the correct route, not wanting to spend more time on your shaky legs than necessary. You ended up laying down, utterly exhausted from your intense fight and the intense orgasm. You stared up at the ceiling and thought about what happened, you wrestled with yourself. You were attracted to one of your captors. You let him see you so vulnerable and it was obvious how easily he could read you. You didn't know why his attention or approval was so important to you, though as you thought about it, you don't know the last time you got those things from someone. At the resistance base you usually kept to yourself and while having your superiors notice your hard work was rewarding, it wasn't like that with Matt. His attention was addicting. You convinced yourself that it was because of all that had happened recently, safety and closeness was what you craved, and it was ok to accept it in this situation, even if it was from the enemy. You drifted off as you contemplated your morals.

A couple hours later you went for one of your random wanderings to make up for your quick walk back to the your room earlier. You hadn't gotten a hold of any kind of map yet but you had a reputation at this point. When you walked the halls most didn't question you, not wanting the burden of chaperoning you to wherever you needed added on top of their regular duties. So you just explored and took mental notes until someone asked where you were supposed to be.

You had been walking for a while when you came across a small group of Stormtroopers and personnel almost jogging through the halls. Your interest was peaked so you followed just far enough behind to not be questioned. It wasn't long before they gathered around a door you didn't recognize. Before you could find a corner to hide behind the door opened to reveal exactly who you didn't want to run into.

His huge silhouette stepping into the hall reminded you just how intimidating the mere sight of this man was. His lightsaber crackled menacingly and just behind him you saw a glimpse inside the room and it's destruction. Chunks of the steel wall ripped out and the broken edges glowing with heat. The slash marks covered the walls, made in obvious fury by the man now looking directly at you.

His chest rose and fell rapidly as he began storming up to you. He came to a stop directly in front of you, towering over you as you began to shake. The memories of his violence overtook your mind and you stood frozen, lost in the horrors of your thoughts. The edges of your vision began to darken and you could no longer tell where you were. Every interaction you had with the man fuming in front of you twisted together. His deep voice crackled through his helmet but you couldn't comprehend what he said, couldn't distinguish if he was talking to you now or if it was an echo of what he had said to you in the past.

He put his hand up and you prepared to be choked. Suddenly, all of the screams in your mind stopped, your distorted vision becoming crisp and your awareness returned. You looked up at the mask in shock and horror, he was in your mind again. In control of your mind again.

He spoke again, his voice distorted by only his helmet. It reverberated so clearly in your head.

"What are you doing here?" 

Your mouth was dry from hanging open in shock, but you felt so compelled to respond.

"Looking for the dining hall." It took so much mental strength to lie. You don't know why you bothered and knew that his next words were going to tell you just as much.

"Lies," he hissed angrily. "Tell me the truth or I will find it myself."

Even with your flashbacks held at bay you teared up at the threat.

"Exploring. Following the group of people. Trying to find a way out." The truth poured out of you in an unstoppable rush.

"I see." You could tell he was deciding what to do with the information. Without releasing you he turned to the side and spoke to the gaggle of apprehensive personnel.

"I want her moved to PR004 and a guard posted outside of her room at all times." He turned back to you. "Can't have my Communications Technician running away."

With that he released his grip on your mind, opening the floodgates to your thoughts. You began crying in earnest as your legs gave out from under you. 

Kylo stormed past you, the heat of his lightsaber warming your face as it barely missed your shoulder. He roared and you heard the sickening sound of the steel wall being shredded and melted simultaneously as he walked away. You shook and sobbed in fear, your lungs burning from your cries. Adrenaline uselessly pumped through your veins as you lay crumpled on the floor, completely frozen. 

The group of people hurriedly followed behind the raging juggernaut, leaving two Stormtroopers to gather your limp body from the floor. Your brain conceded to the flashbacks as they twisted together and removed you from the present completely.

Chapter Text

You woke up in a room that seemed familiar but some how not. Dazed and confused you look around, the bed you're in has the sheets you are familiar with but it's larger than the one you fell asleep in last night. Your mind starts to break through the foggy confusion and you realized, you don't remember falling asleep. You sat upright in a panic, then realization seeped in. You never went to bed last night, not on your own at least. You are still wearing the clothes you put on after your shower, and the blankets were haphazardly thrown over you. Your memories slowly trickle into place and your heartbeat skyrockets. You jump out of the bed and run to the door that should lead to the hallway. Unlocked. You press the button to open much harder than needed in your haste. As soon as the door whooshed open you took a step into the hall. You realized with a jolt that this isn't the hall that you had walked down for the past week. Suddenly, a white armored soldier steps in front of you, one hand out blocking your path, the other holding their blaster.

Your heart drops as you stand frozen and barefoot on the cold floor.

"You are not to leave your room," the Stormtroopers voice leaves no space for questions.

Unsure what to do now that the door has closed behind you and unwilling to turn your back on an armed soldier, you slowly raise your arms in surrender. You watched as they raised their hand to their helmet.

"She's awake."

Your blood ran cold, and even though it had already been said you shook your head begging for some way out of this situation. The Stormtrooper reached over and opened the door to your room and gestured for you to go back inside. Without any option you retreated back. Your hands were clammy and your breathing sounded so loud in your head. You walked back to your new bed and sat down waiting for the inevitable.

It was mere minuets before the door opened again, you looked up to see exactly who you were expecting. Kylo Ren stood just inside the door as it closed behind him. You both stayed like that for a moment, you looking up at his mask covered face from your bed and him looking down at your tear stained expression. You felt helpless against what must be an incoming storm of fury.

His leather gloves creaked as he flexed the muscles in his tightly balled fist.

"Where would you go?"

You were taken aback by his question.

"W-what?" You couldn't convince your voice to be any louder than a meek whisper.

He took a step forward closer to you and you flinched turning away.

"You were trying to find a way out. Where would you go?" His question came out more like a condemnation.

"I don't know… I hadn't gotten that far," you admitted.

"Can you pilot a ship?" He interrogated you, already knowing all the answers.

"No."

"Do you have the money to bribe someone?"

"No."

"Do you even know where the Finalizer is currently?" You were confused by the restraint you could hear in his voice.

"No"

"So, where would you go?" He asked again, and you realized, he was leading you to the answer. Slowly forcing you to use logic and break your own hope of escape.

"Nowhere. I would go nowhere," you admitted defeat.

He sighed deeply as he unfurled his fists before closing them tightly again. Through the helmet the exhale sounded frustrated and tired.

"You are clothed, fed, and housed."

You nodded, agreeing with him.

"And your hand to hand combat skills are improving," his compliment sounded more like an accusation. You swallowed hard before nodding again.

"Good," His voice was almost a growl. "Training continues."

His praise made your skin crawl uncomfortably like scratchy wool against bare skin. He turned to leave.

"Wait." Your hand shook as you reached out after the man that haunted you.

"Why?" You didn't have the words to explain all that you meant with your simple question, but he knew. He turned back and looked down at your outstretched hand as if he didn't understand the natural reaction to reach out. His helmet tilted as he observed it trembling. You slowly retracted it, as if nervous he would lash out like a mad dog if you moved too quickly.

"Because you have use," he said simply. He knew that response gave you none of the answers you were looking for.

"I'm not a Force User. You saw my memories." You don't know what you were pleading for but you put your whole heart into somehow making him believe you.

He stood there silently as you looked up at him, the quiet settling between you both like dust on a battlefield.

"You have use," he repeated denying your pleas.

With that he turned and left the room, his cape billowing behind him. You sat there confused and defeated. You were captured by a master manipulator who just chiseled away at any hope you still held. Lost at what to do you laid down and stared at the spot on the floor where he stood like a specter over you.

You don't know when you fell asleep, but you woke up the next morning,.

"Yes?"

The Stormtrooper responded, "I'm escorting you to training in 15 minutes."

You deflated, of course you would still have to train.

Gotta' stay useful, you thought bitterly.

15 minuets seemed to last an eternity as you sat waiting, you had already changed but had no interest in leaving the sanctuary of your room earlier than absolutely necessary. Finally the door opened and you stood to obediently follow the guard. Every eye on you as you walked to the training room, it was no surprise that word of your little excursions had spread.

You kept your head down and ignored the shame bubbling in your gut. Your plan had been going too well but you got too confident. A small part of you deep down still held hope for escape. It would take time and care but you intended to foster it.

You stepped through the door as it opened, wondering what Matt's opinion of the situation would be. Your insides twisted at the thought of him being genuinely disappointed in you. It was one thing when it was back and forth, but there was a very real chance that your only source of company would change how he acted completely.

He stood where he always did, by the table that his water and datapad sat on. His back was turned, and he looked as though he hadn't been training anyone before you. I wonder if he was busy being briefed on how I am a flight risk.

You took a deep breath before continuing over to him. He didn't bother looking up when he spoke to you.

"Warm up." It was a simple command but it felt heavier that day. You began stretching, feeling the ache from training the day before. It was a familiar feeling now, bruises on bruises. You were so absorbed in your thoughts that you didn't notice that he had also started stretching and warming up.

"Lets go." He seemed to be using as few words as possible.

You stood across from him and widened your stance like you did every day. Without warning he began assaulting you with blows. They came faster than you could keep up with and you could feel the anger laced in each hit. You did your best to keep up and block or dodge a majority of the offensive moves. He just kept attacking until you couldn't dodge anymore, you blocked as much as you could but quickly succumbed to his blows. Your eyes were squeezed shut with your arms over your head trying to protect yourself as much as possible. They were quickly yanked away and pinned.

"I submit!" You called out, eyes still shut tight. You could feel his warm breath fanning over your face.

"Say it again," he growled.

"I submit!" You inwardly cringed at the sound of your own voice echoing around the large room.

"Again." The pressure holding your arms against the mat increased as he leaned in, the weight of his knee on your chest making your breaths shallow and painful.

"I give in! I submit! I'm sorry!" Your outburst surprised yourself just as much as you seemed to surprise him. You felt the pressure lighten slightly, you took the opportunity to inhale deeply.

"Open your eyes." You hesitated for only a moment but he said your name in a way that had you opening them before you even realized.

The first thing you noticed was how bright the room was, how he looked almost ethereal with the lights behind him. His hair hung messily in his face as he looked down at you, his thick brows scrunched together in confusion and curiosity. His lips were pressed in a thin line as his eyes searched your face.

"Why did you say that?" His question was simple enough yet you had trouble finding an answer.

Why did you say that?

You opened your mouth only to close it again without saying a thing. He glared, frustration coming back to his face. His weight suddenly lifted off of you and before you had a chance to get up he had pulled you to your feet by your arm. You stood there surprised just staring at him dumbly.

"Again."

Before you could prepare yourself he began advancing. Your brain felt slow trying to follow his quick movements. You completely gave up on predicting his moves and just blocked, throwing an unthought out kick or punch when you could. You couldn't hold up against his onslaught, quickly stumbling and falling backwards. Using your feet you desperately tried to push yourself away from him, trying to scramble back up. He was merciless as he kicked your feet to stop you from getting away, dropping down on top of you and pinning you hard. You winced in pain as your arms were twisted up and legs held down by his own.

"Say it."

"I submit! I yield." Tears pricked at the outer corner of your eyes, the sudden and unrelenting attack bringing fear back to the surface.

"No." His face was twisted with anger, sheer frustration leaving him searching for words.

"Say it," he ground out between clenched teeth.

You looked between his eyes as he glared into yours, then suddenly you understood.

"I'm sorry," You breathed.

"Why?" He yanked your arms up further and leaned in further, causing you to hiss in pain.

"You rewarded me then told Kylo that I was doing well. Right after that I got in trouble. You praising me made you look bad." You were vomiting words so quickly that you had no idea what you were saying.

"You trusted me, then I betrayed that trust, I'm sorry." Matt's eyes narrowed, searching for insincerity. When it found none he got up and stalked away. You were left breathing hard on your back watching him.

"Stay," he barked as he turned the corner into the men's locker room.

The last thing you wanted to do was anger him further so you stayed laying on the floor. A few minuets later he came back. He returned with his shirt off and thrown over his shoulder and a towel in his hand. A glance let you know that he had run water over his face, his dark hair sticking to it. He reached up with the towel he was holding to wipe the remaining water off. Only after wiping his face did he notice you still laying on your back. He gave a short mirthless laugh and shook his head, beads of water flying around him like a dog.

"I meant don't leave the room," he sighed, carding his fingers through his hair. "Good to know you're following instructions now."

You huffed as you stood up, feeling silly for taking him so literally, but a part of you thought it was worth it if just to ease the tension between you. You and he kept eye contact for longer than normal and you both decided internally that you didn't need to talk about the apology right now.

"I'm not that much of a flight risk," you groaned as you stood up. He shot a look at you out of the corner of his eye that told you he thought otherwise. You walked over to the table to grab a water bottle, then it occurred to you, you hadn't had to go to the locker room to grab a drink in days. You stared at it in your hand, then glanced in the direction of the locker room, there kept being two on the table when you showed up.

"You take too long," he said nonchalantly.

Your head snapped up, mind racing as you stared at him.

"It isn't that hard to put together what you are thinking," he shrugged. You grumbled under your breath then drank the water.

After you were both sated you went back to the mat. You shook out your body, trying to focus on not being pinned quite so easily.

"You are upset."

It was your turn to glare at him as you both got into position. "No shit."

"You were also upset yesterday," he mused.

"I was angry," you corrected as you put your arms up to begin.

"That is still upset."

"Ok, fine." You threw the first punch that he dodged easily, he retaliated with a kick to your outer thigh that you took with a hiss. "What are you getting at?"

"I think that you pinned me yesterday because you channeled that feeling into your combat." He spoke so calmly as he threw unforgiving punches and kicks at you.

You were too busy trying to land a hit to respond to his wisdom. You both danced back and forth with only you struggling to keep up. It wasn't long before he had your cheek pressed into the mat in a very solid arm bar, his upper arm against your other cheek. He leaned into your line of sight looking at you expectantly.

"I submi-"

"Again," he interrupted.

"I submit."

"Again," his voice was frustratingly level.

"I submit."

"Again," he leaned in, pressing you further into the mat with his weight. The heat from his skin was beginning to seep into you, suddenly you felt too warm, you just wanted him off.

"I submit! I SUBMIT!" You yelled.

"AGAIN!" He yelled back as he pressed you even further so your face was so squished that you couldn't stop the drool leaking from your mouth.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Your voice was muffled by the mat but at this point you were seething. Your nails were digging into the mat so hard that it hurt the beds of your nails. You began kicking and squirming under him and to your surprise he got up.

"Wha-" you couldn't finish before he cut you off.

"Again." He squared his stance and got ready to spar again.

You saw red, the anger and frustration boiling through you. He was toying with you. He wasn't taking you seriously. He had to go walk off an apology and you weren't given the same god damn grace. After being made a prisoner, being manipulated by Kylo Ren, watching everyone you know die again, and having to fight this cocky nerve burner every day, who left you craving more, you exploded.

Your fury felt righteous. Stringing together punches and kicks felt effortless, and predicting Matt's moves felt even easier. As your fists made contact with flesh you could feel your knuckles starting to ache, even with the wraps. You felt so firmly planted with each step forward, and any hit or kick that Matt did throw couldn't knock your balance. You feasted on his expressions as he went from blank, to surprise, to impressed, to overwhelmed. Charging forward, you gained ground and forced him back with each hit you landed. You felt fully aware and in sync with yourself as you knocked him back with a swift knee to the stomach. In a flurry of poetic justice you wrestled him to the ground and into a leg bar. You tucked his ankle under your arm and arched back until he yelped, then you held it.

"SAY IT!" You screamed.

"I SUBMIT." You couldn't see it but even through the pain he had a small smirk on his face.

"AGAIN." Your voice echoed around the room.

He winced as his smile grew behind your back.

"I SUBMIT!" He physically tapped out as well, slamming his palm onto the mat over and over.

You were panting hard as you let his leg go and rolled off of him. Matt stood up and tested putting weight on his leg, you watched him rotate the hip a few times but you couldn't see any serious damage. You stood up and let your head fall back, basking in your victory and in the rage that got you there. The sudden wave of endorphins sending a few traitorous tears to roll down your cheeks and get caught in your eyelashes. You closed your eyes to avoid seeing his reaction to your tears as you stood there feeling the weight of all that had happened to you in the past week. All the death, pain, manipulation, and torture had built up, and only now did you feel the swell of emotions crash over you.

You flinched and your eyes shot open as a callused thumb brushed across your cheek, wiping the tears away. You looked up at him but he doesn't make eye contact, completely absorbed in watching his hand glide over your damp cheek and down over your jaw. The warmth of his skin lingered as he did the same on the other side. You blinked up at him, your wet eyelashes making light reflect and catch in the tears leaving your vision starry.

"So much strength," he murmured. He turned his eyes to yours, "You deserve the praise."

The world falls away as your head spins. His words were the ultimate hit of dopamine mingled with the lingering endorphins. Your stomach flutters and you feel your heart pound as his hand pulled away. You stand there, dazed, so many emotions swirling in you at once. You watched as he walked over to the table and picked up both water bottles, then walked back to you. He offered you yours before taking a long swig from his own.

"That is all for today." He spoke but you didn't completely absorb what he said and he could tell. He reached out and placed a hand on your back then mindlessly ran his hand back and forth. You both stood there for a moment, sweaty and tired. It was comforting, you never thought such a small gesture could make you feel so safe.

"You did well, go clean up and relax. That kind of power will take a lot out of you, but you'll adjust." he said knowingly as he released you.

You nodded slowly in response, savoring the his praise and the warmth from his touch.

He led you to the training room door and reminded you to come back tomorrow then he passed you off to the Stormtrooper to take you back to your room. Once you got there and the door closed, you stripped as you walked, leaving a trail of clothes to the shower in your exhaustion. You let the hot water fall over you, feeling it relaxing your muscles and soothing your nerves. Your mind kept wandering back to Matt. His gentle touches in contrast to his aggressive fighting, looking up at him when you are pinned down, and the way his praise sets something alight deep within you.

You collapsed into bed with a sigh, your damp hair laying around you. You still hadn't figured out why your room had been changed, maybe it was easier to guard. The question plagued your thoughts, a nicer room is a reward, why had it been given to you?

You woke up in a room that seemed familiar but some how not. Dazed and confused you look around, the bed you're in has the sheets you are familiar with but it's larger than the one you fell asleep in last night. Your mind starts to break through the foggy confusion and you realized, you don't remember falling asleep. You sat upright in a panic, then realization seeped in. You never went to bed last night, not on your own at least. You are still wearing the clothes you put on after your shower, and the blankets were haphazardly thrown over you. Your memories slowly trickle into place and your heartbeat skyrockets. You jump out of the bed and run to the door that should lead to the hallway. Unlocked. You press the button to open much harder than needed in your haste. As soon as the door whooshed open you took a step into the hall. You realized with a jolt that this isn't the hall that you had walked down for the past week. Suddenly, a white armored soldier steps in front of you, one hand out blocking your path, the other holding their blaster.

Your heart drops as you stand frozen and barefoot on the cold floor.

"You are not to leave your room," the Stormtroopers voice leaves no space for questions.

Unsure what to do now that the door has closed behind you and unwilling to turn your back on an armed soldier, you slowly raise your arms in surrender. You watched as they raised their hand to their helmet.

"She's awake."

Your blood ran cold, and even though it had already been said you shook your head begging for some way out of this situation. The Stormtrooper reached over and opened the door to your room and gestured for you to go back inside. Without any option you retreated back. Your hands were clammy and your breathing sounded so loud in your head. You walked back to your new bed and sat down waiting for the inevitable.

It was mere minuets before the door opened again, you looked up to see exactly who you were expecting. Kylo Ren stood just inside the door as it closed behind him. You both stayed like that for a moment, you looking up at his mask covered face from your bed and him looking down at your tear stained expression. You felt helpless against what must be an incoming storm of fury.

His leather gloves creaked as he flexed the muscles in his tightly balled fist.

"Where would you go?"

You were taken aback by his question.

"W-what?" You couldn't convince your voice to be any louder than a meek whisper.

He took a step forward closer to you and you flinched turning away.

"You were trying to find a way out. Where would you go?" His question came out more like a condemnation.

"I don't know… I hadn't gotten that far," you admitted.

"Can you pilot a ship?" He interrogated you, already knowing all the answers.

"No."

"Do you have the money to bribe someone?"

"No."

"Do you even know where the Finalizer is currently?" You were confused by the restraint you could hear in his voice.

"No"

"So, where would you go?" He asked again, and you realized, he was leading you to the answer. Slowly forcing you to use logic and break your own hope of escape.

"Nowhere. I would go nowhere," you admitted defeat.

He sighed deeply as he unfurled his fists before closing them tightly again. Through the helmet the exhale sounded frustrated and tired.

"You are clothed, fed, and housed."

You nodded, agreeing with him.

"And your hand to hand combat skills are improving," his compliment sounded more like an accusation. You swallowed hard before nodding again.

"Good," His voice was almost a growl. "Training continues."

His praise made your skin crawl uncomfortably like scratchy wool against bare skin. He turned to leave.

"Wait." Your hand shook as you reached out after the man that haunted you.

"Why?" You didn't have the words to explain all that you meant with your simple question, but he knew. He turned back and looked down at your outstretched hand as if he didn't understand the natural reaction to reach out. His helmet tilted as he observed it trembling. You slowly retracted it, as if nervous he would lash out like a mad dog if you moved too quickly.

"Because you have use," he said simply. He knew that response gave you none of the answers you were looking for.

"I'm not a Force User. You saw my memories." You don't know what you were pleading for but you put your whole heart into somehow making him believe you.

He stood there silently as you looked up at him, the quiet settling between you both like dust on a battlefield.

"You have use," he repeated denying your pleas.

With that he turned and left the room, his cape billowing behind him. You sat there confused and defeated. You were captured by a master manipulator who just chiseled away at any hope you still held. Lost at what to do you laid down and stared at the spot on the floor where he stood like a specter over you.

You don't know when you fell asleep, but you woke up the next morning,.

"Yes?"

The Stormtrooper responded, "I'm escorting you to training in 15 minutes."

You deflated, of course you would still have to train.

Gotta' stay useful, you thought bitterly.

15 minuets seemed to last an eternity as you sat waiting, you had already changed but had no interest in leaving the sanctuary of your room earlier than absolutely necessary. Finally the door opened and you stood to obediently follow the guard. Every eye on you as you walked to the training room, it was no surprise that word of your little excursions had spread.

You kept your head down and ignored the shame bubbling in your gut. Your plan had been going too well but you got too confident. A small part of you deep down still held hope for escape. It would take time and care but you intended to foster it.

You stepped through the door as it opened, wondering what Matt's opinion of the situation would be. Your insides twisted at the thought of him being genuinely disappointed in you. It was one thing when it was back and forth, but there was a very real chance that your only source of company would change how he acted completely.

He stood where he always did, by the table that his water and datapad sat on. His back was turned, and he looked as though he hadn't been training anyone before you. I wonder if he was busy being briefed on how I am a flight risk.

You took a deep breath before continuing over to him. He didn't bother looking up when he spoke to you.

"Warm up." It was a simple command but it felt heavier that day. You began stretching, feeling the ache from training the day before. It was a familiar feeling now, bruises on bruises. You were so absorbed in your thoughts that you didn't notice that he had also started stretching and warming up.

"Lets go." He seemed to be using as few words as possible.

You stood across from him and widened your stance like you did every day. Without warning he began assaulting you with blows. They came faster than you could keep up with and you could feel the anger laced in each hit. You did your best to keep up and block or dodge a majority of the offensive moves. He just kept attacking until you couldn't dodge anymore, you blocked as much as you could but quickly succumbed to his blows. Your eyes were squeezed shut with your arms over your head trying to protect yourself as much as possible. They were quickly yanked away and pinned.

"I submit!" You called out, eyes still shut tight. You could feel his warm breath fanning over your face.

"Say it again," he growled.

"I submit!" You inwardly cringed at the sound of your own voice echoing around the large room.

"Again." The pressure holding your arms against the mat increased as he leaned in, the weight of his knee on your chest making your breaths shallow and painful.

"I give in! I submit! I'm sorry!" Your outburst surprised yourself just as much as you seemed to surprise him. You felt the pressure lighten slightly, you took the opportunity to inhale deeply.

"Open your eyes." You hesitated for only a moment but he said your name in a way that had you opening them before you even realized.

The first thing you noticed was how bright the room was, how he looked almost ethereal with the lights behind him. His hair hung messily in his face as he looked down at you, his thick brows scrunched together in confusion and curiosity. His lips were pressed in a thin line as his eyes searched your face.

"Why did you say that?" His question was simple enough yet you had trouble finding an answer.

Why did you say that?

You opened your mouth only to close it again without saying a thing. He glared, frustration coming back to his face. His weight suddenly lifted off of you and before you had a chance to get up he had pulled you to your feet by your arm. You stood there surprised just staring at him dumbly.

"Again."

Before you could prepare yourself he began advancing. Your brain felt slow trying to follow his quick movements. You completely gave up on predicting his moves and just blocked, throwing an unthought out kick or punch when you could. You couldn't hold up against his onslaught, quickly stumbling and falling backwards. Using your feet you desperately tried to push yourself away from him, trying to scramble back up. He was merciless as he kicked your feet to stop you from getting away, dropping down on top of you and pinning you hard. You winced in pain as your arms were twisted up and legs held down by his own.

"Say it."

"I submit! I yield." Tears pricked at the outer corner of your eyes, the sudden and unrelenting attack bringing fear back to the surface.

"No." His face was twisted with anger, sheer frustration leaving him searching for words.

"Say it," he ground out between clenched teeth.

You looked between his eyes as he glared into yours, then suddenly you understood.

"I'm sorry," You breathed.

"Why?" He yanked your arms up further and leaned in further, causing you to hiss in pain.

"You rewarded me then told Kylo that I was doing well. Right after that I got in trouble. You praising me made you look bad." You were vomiting words so quickly that you had no idea what you were saying.

"You trusted me, then I betrayed that trust, I'm sorry." Matt's eyes narrowed, searching for insincerity. When it found none he got up and stalked away. You were left breathing hard on your back watching him.

"Stay," he barked as he turned the corner into the men's locker room.

The last thing you wanted to do was anger him further so you stayed laying on the floor. A few minuets later he came back. He returned with his shirt off and thrown over his shoulder and a towel in his hand. A glance let you know that he had run water over his face, his dark hair sticking to it. He reached up with the towel he was holding to wipe the remaining water off. Only after wiping his face did he notice you still laying on your back. He gave a short mirthless laugh and shook his head, beads of water flying around him like a dog.

"I meant don't leave the room," he sighed, carding his fingers through his hair. "Good to know you're following instructions now."

You huffed as you stood up, feeling silly for taking him so literally, but a part of you thought it was worth it if just to ease the tension between you. You and he kept eye contact for longer than normal and you both decided internally that you didn't need to talk about the apology right now.

"I'm not that much of a flight risk," you groaned as you stood up. He shot a look at you out of the corner of his eye that told you he thought otherwise. You walked over to the table to grab a water bottle, then it occurred to you, you hadn't had to go to the locker room to grab a drink in days. You stared at it in your hand, then glanced in the direction of the locker room, there kept being two on the table when you showed up.

"You take too long," he said nonchalantly.

Your head snapped up, mind racing as you stared at him.

"It isn't that hard to put together what you are thinking," he shrugged. You grumbled under your breath then drank the water.

After you were both sated you went back to the mat. You shook out your body, trying to focus on not being pinned quite so easily.

"You are upset."

It was your turn to glare at him as you both got into position. "No shit."

"You were also upset yesterday," he mused.

"I was angry," you corrected as you put your arms up to begin.

"That is still upset."

"Ok, fine." You threw the first punch that he dodged easily, he retaliated with a kick to your outer thigh that you took with a hiss. "What are you getting at?"

"I think that you pinned me yesterday because you channeled that feeling into your combat." He spoke so calmly as he threw unforgiving punches and kicks at you.

You were too busy trying to land a hit to respond to his wisdom. You both danced back and forth with only you struggling to keep up. It wasn't long before he had your cheek pressed into the mat in a very solid arm bar, his upper arm against your other cheek. He leaned into your line of sight looking at you expectantly.

"I submi-"

"Again," he interrupted.

"I submit."

"Again," his voice was frustratingly level.

"I submit."

"Again," he leaned in, pressing you further into the mat with his weight. The heat from his skin was beginning to seep into you, suddenly you felt too warm, you just wanted him off.

"I submit! I SUBMIT!" You yelled.

"AGAIN!" He yelled back as he pressed you even further so your face was so squished that you couldn't stop the drool leaking from your mouth.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" Your voice was muffled by the mat but at this point you were seething. Your nails were digging into the mat so hard that it hurt the beds of your nails. You began kicking and squirming under him and to your surprise he got up.

"Wha-" you couldn't finish before he cut you off.

"Again." He squared his stance and got ready to spar again.

You saw red, the anger and frustration boiling through you. He was toying with you. He wasn't taking you seriously. He had to go walk off an apology and you weren't given the same god damn grace. After being made a prisoner, being manipulated by Kylo Ren, watching everyone you know die again, and having to fight this cocky nerve burner every day, who left you craving more, you exploded.

Your fury felt righteous. Stringing together punches and kicks felt effortless, and predicting Matt's moves felt even easier. As your fists made contact with flesh you could feel your knuckles starting to ache, even with the wraps. You felt so firmly planted with each step forward, and any hit or kick that Matt did throw couldn't knock your balance. You feasted on his expressions as he went from blank, to surprise, to impressed, to overwhelmed. Charging forward, you gained ground and forced him back with each hit you landed. You felt fully aware and in sync with yourself as you knocked him back with a swift knee to the stomach. In a flurry of poetic justice you wrestled him to the ground and into a leg bar. You tucked his ankle under your arm and arched back until he yelped, then you held it.

"SAY IT!" You screamed.

"I SUBMIT." You couldn't see it but even through the pain he had a small smirk on his face.

"AGAIN." Your voice echoed around the room.

He winced as his smile grew behind your back.

"I SUBMIT!" He physically tapped out as well, slamming his palm onto the mat over and over.

You were panting hard as you let his leg go and rolled off of him. Matt stood up and tested putting weight on his leg, you watched him rotate the hip a few times but you couldn't see any serious damage. You stood up and let your head fall back, basking in your victory and in the rage that got you there. The sudden wave of endorphins sending a few traitorous tears to roll down your cheeks and get caught in your eyelashes. You closed your eyes to avoid seeing his reaction to your tears as you stood there feeling the weight of all that had happened to you in the past week. All the death, pain, manipulation, and torture had built up, and only now did you feel the swell of emotions crash over you.

You flinched and your eyes shot open as a callused thumb brushed across your cheek, wiping the tears away. You looked up at him but he doesn't make eye contact, completely absorbed in watching his hand glide over your damp cheek and down over your jaw. The warmth of his skin lingered as he did the same on the other side. You blinked up at him, your wet eyelashes making light reflect and catch in the tears leaving your vision starry.

"So much strength," he murmured. He turned his eyes to yours, "You deserve the praise."

The world falls away as your head spins. His words were the ultimate hit of dopamine mingled with the lingering endorphins. Your stomach flutters and you feel your heart pound as his hand pulled away. You stand there, dazed, so many emotions swirling in you at once. You watched as he walked over to the table and picked up both water bottles, then walked back to you. He offered you yours before taking a long swig from his own.

"That is all for today." He spoke but you didn't completely absorb what he said and he could tell. He reached out and placed a hand on your back then mindlessly ran his hand back and forth. You both stood there for a moment, sweaty and tired. It was comforting, you never thought such a small gesture could make you feel so safe.

"You did well, go clean up and relax. That kind of power will take a lot out of you, but you'll adjust." he said knowingly as he released you.

You nodded slowly in response, savoring the his praise and the warmth from his touch.

He led you to the training room door and reminded you to come back tomorrow then he passed you off to the Stormtrooper to take you back to your room. Once you got there and the door closed, you stripped as you walked, leaving a trail of clothes to the shower in your exhaustion. You let the hot water fall over you, feeling it relaxing your muscles and soothing your nerves. Your mind kept wandering back to Matt. His gentle touches in contrast to his aggressive fighting, looking up at him when you are pinned down, and the way his praise sets something alight deep within you.

You collapsed into bed with a sigh, your damp hair laying around you. You still hadn't figured out why your room had been changed, maybe it was easier to guard. The question plagued your thoughts, a nicer room is a reward, why had it been given to you?